I’m sorry to disappoint those of you that may have heard some of Colonel Charles Augustus Makepeace’s reminisces at dinner parties, before his wife Letitia shuts him up, or even have read his book “Twenty-Four Years Without Eyebrows” but a lot of what he tells you has been watered down to protect the Guilt. You may not believe me, and who would blame you following the mysterious death of Major General Pettygrows of the Light Dragons. You may well remember at the time reading the report of the explosion at the Pseudopolis barracks in “The Truth” but what Mr de Worde was not able to report of this incident was that Pettygrows and his adjutant Lovejoe had just collected up all the regimental records and were having a last look round the empty dragon pens when the whole lot exploded. Nothing was found of the two men or the records and the buildings were reduced to a molten mess on the ground. Some say it was caused by the ghosts of past dragons as all that remained identifiable were 271 ‘Chubbys’. Forget all you have heard and any other Snuff {1} you may have read; this is the truth about the

Pseudopolis Light Dragons

When they were founded in 1979 Chas was just a lieutenant but his connections to a Dragon owner and breeder enabled the troop to obtain nine Ramkin’s Optimists. The breeder didn’t wish to be associated with the project , knowing it would never be viable, but provided some of their own specially bred dragons, which were not as volatile as other breeds, in the hope of giving the poor creatures a better chance of survival. The majority of the dragons in the unit were selectively{2} bred from these nine animals.

They were always a small regiment and worked in pairs – two men to a dragon and two dragons to a team and were rarely able to provide more than two operational teams at any one time. They were an infantry unit but used pack ponies to transport the dragons and their equipment. If operational needs required a rapid deployment the men could ride the ponies but they always fought on foot. They usually acted as an independent unit but could be assigned to support an infantry regiment{3}.

The Iconographs.

Here we see a team about to unload their dragon. Due to the corrosive nature of the animals they soon dispensed with set combat equipment and uniform and would use any type of thick leather and metal armour, most of which was burnt, patched or otherwise repaired, that was available on the day. The leader (firer) is wearing the full enclosed protective armour used for most operations. His assistant (loader) has lighter armour as he isn’t expected to handle the dragon but has to do just about everything else including preparing the dragon treats. The dragon is blindfolded as an extra safety precaution.

The team is ready to fire. The loader has the extra protection of being behind a heavy wood and metal shield and is holding the firing stick. When a target is sighted the firer removes the dragons blindfold and the loader, by the use of string and pulleys, turns up the mirror on the end of the firing stick. You all know what happens when a dragon sees its own reflection.

The best dragon treats come from a small deposit of Anthracite within the fat mines of Uberwald. The fat helps give a stronger flame, but if the loader feeds the dragon a little extra the power of the flame can be too much for man and beast to handle, as seen here.

This is what happens if the dragon has too many treats. All that is left is the dragon’s blue collar; his ‘Chubby’, so named because they were all specially made by Herdic and Baffle who made that worn by the poor unfortunate Chubby, murdered by the assassin d’Eath. The ‘Chubbys’ used to be hung on a Wall of Remembrance at the pens.

The unit wasn’t exactly secret but few people ever saw them. Due to the corrosive and explosive nature of the animals they weren’t safe to be taken on parades or have public open days. This did mean that the regiment could have a smart purple and yellow dress uniform with lots of feathers for public occasions where they appeared without the dragons.

What was kept secret was the …………………..

Pseudopolis Heavy Dragons (The 9th).

Their animals were interbred with the Guttley’s Leaper which is renowned for its speed. Although the Leaper’s overall size increased and it gained fore limbs it virtually lost its wings, any remnant of such being hidden by the saddle; but just occasionally there was a throw-back, these animals becoming the pack leaders and were the cherished mounts of the officers of the unit. The unit was never to reach their full potential. This was in the main due to many of the dragon’s internal organs not growing in the expected manner but becoming longer to fill its enlarged body cavity. The result was that its flame had so much further to travel that by the time it exited the animal there wasn’t enough heat to light a fag. It also didn’t help matters when the complete regiment with their commandant Count Flavious Markas Aquillas at its head trotted out of the Pseudopolis barracks in Grune 1991 to go to a new barracks at Rham Nitz. They never arrived and no trace has ever been found of them since.

{1} p92 hardback.{2} Selective in the fact that if they didn’t explode they could breed.{3} normally only the once though – even if the regiment survived.