"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among
these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

Lynn
Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool
with a rope."

Camille
Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for
incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."

George
Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake a whole relationship."

Sharon
Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball
is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like
black pimps."

Tiger
Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me
a son-of-a-bitch."

Jack
Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter
how bad it is."

Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from Latin meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Robin
Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just
need a place."

Billy
Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too
judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

Robert De
Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are
reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the
problem?"

Dustin
Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's
magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me
somebody naked'."

Jerry
Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a
brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Robin
Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've
forgotten who ties up whom."

Joan
Rivers

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful
and natural experiences money can buy."

Steve
Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in
school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every
day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later
life."

Emo
Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."

Oscar
Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no
intention of getting married."