Oregon Ducks Dress Up as the Grim Reaper, Kill USC on Halloween Night

If you’ve never been to a big game at Autzen stadium, I suggest you do everything in your power to do so. Take out a loan, put your wife or girlfriend up for prostitution, sell your kids. Whatever it takes. These options are all better than being forced to watch an Oregon Ducks home game from your couch.

Yesterday was honestly the best day of my life. And I’ve had some great days. Being born, for one. Jerry Rice once stepped on my foot at a YMCA post-game party. J.T. Snow moved in next door when I was 12, and the first thing I said to him was that Eric Chavez was my favorite player.

I was at the A’s game when they finally won a division series in 2006, and even better, I was there, sitting 10 rows away, when Frank Francisco lost his mind and threw a chair into the stands.

See I’ve had some great days, but none have came even close to the absolute mayhem that ensued yesterday from 4:30 in the morning when I showed up at ESPN’s College Game Day, all the way until 10 pm when the students finally started clearing the field.

To sum up, here’s what I tweeted last night, at 2 a.m. no less, mildly intoxicated. “UOsportsdude: Game day. Nap. Pre-game. Game. Celebration. Beer pong. Drunk dialing my gf. Now that’s what I call a good day.”

So now that we have established that yesterday was officially the best day ever, unless you are a USC fan, or Bernie Madoff, here are some of my thoughts on the game.

· Hey Matt Barkley, can you hear us now? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

· Can we just make it official? Autzen is the loudest stadium in the country. USC had five false starts in the first half alone. I lost count after that.

· Can we just give “Big Balls” Chip Kelly the national Coach of the Year award, right now? Seriously. Drive it to his house right now.

· And how cool is Chip? He dressed up as Puddles at Game Day. What a baller.

· And if that weren’t enough, when asked about why the Ducks are so successful in the second half, he coolly says, “Our halftime adjustments are just try to get a drink of water, touch your toes and go back out and play.”

· One more reason to love Chip Kelly: “We don’t recruit guys to play in games like this, we recruit guys to win games like this.”

· I wonder what Jeremiah Masoli did last night. I bet the second he left the locker room, someone had a beer and a perfect 10 waiting for him.

· I actually feel like I single-handedly had a part in the Ducks win last night. And of course, the 59,591 other people in the Autzen zoo.

· Last night was the worst lost in Pete Carroll’s tenure with the Trojans, and the second worst loss in the history of USC.

· In his past 93 games, Carroll had never lost by more than a single touchdown.

· Oregon rushed for 391 yards against a team that ranked fifth in the nation in rushing defense, allowing just 80 yards a game. The Ducks had 613 yards of total offense, the second-highest total USC has ever allowed after Notre Dame’s 623 in 1946.

· The setting for last night’s game was a perfect storm. Night game. Halloween. ESPN Game Day. In Autzen. I didn’t meet a single Duck fan who wasn’t 100 percent confidant we would win.

· I also didn’t meet a single USC fan that talked trash before the game. I guess they knew what was coming.

· I hugged Will Tukuafu on the field after the game.

· There were about 15 people dressed in farm animal costumes last night. Why? I don’t know.

· Best costume of the night goes to the Oregon coconut bra guy, who uncannily resembled the Joker. Good work, man.

· I can’t believe that just two years ago, USC was my first choice for college. I think I made the right decision coming to Eugene.

· Stat of the Night: Oregon gained 99 more yards again the Trojans than they did against Washington State. Wow.

· The only good news for USC fans? They can sleep in on New Year’s Day.

· Here’s the best article I read from a USC perspective, from the LA Times .

· Oregon beat the Trojans so badly that the USC president is now planning to retire after 19 years at the helm.

· I’m sorry, but the Ducks are not the eighth best team in the country. Iowa, Cinci, Boise State and TCU? Come on. Three mid-majors whose only good win collectively, is the Broncos beating Oregon when they were a completely different team, and a team from the Big Ten, which might be a worse conference than the WAC.

· Only Florida, Bama, and Texas should be higher. And I think we could beat any of these teams right now.

· As of this moment, I would be honestly disappointed in a Rose Bowl appearance. I would rather play a team from the Big 12 in the Holiday Bowl than crush Iowa in the Rose Bowl.