My own answer was that I'd buy a house, which had a granny flat for me and would be able to house the rest of my family, or a carer's family. The idea was that I could continue to be as independent as possible, but there would be help close at hand if I ever needed it.

Since doing that post, I've been working on how I could make it a reality. You see, my family was keen to have the same thing: a home that really was ours, where we could all have our own space, but be there for each other if needed.

After lots of searching, a very disappointing call to the Qld Housing Department's home loans section, and a lot of daydreaming and scheming, we came up with something.

My superannuation has been paying me a pension - but I've always had the option to commute a part of that pension to cash - to get a lump sum of money in return for a reduction in income. That's what I've done. I've taken a reduction in my superannuation income, so as to be able to have a home.

The house we've found is perfect. It has two storeys. My daughter and her husband and their daughter will have a three-bedroom house upstairs. My son and I will have a two-bedroom house downstairs. The part I will live in is flat. If I find I am going up and down the stairs a lot, we can look at installing a stair lift (because it's our house, not a rented house, and we can do what we want with it.) Downstairs also has a large rumpus room that can be an arts and crafts studio and office space, something I've always wanted.

It's a big risk. But most of the big things we do in life involve big risks.

One risk is that I will have a bout of brain fog and sign something I regret, or order three different electricity suppliers or none, or do something that makes the whole contract fall through. This is where my family's invaluable. I'm not doing anything on my own. All the phone calls I have to make, someone else is with me, keeping track of things I might forget, finding easier ways to do things. We're sharing the work, and helping to keep each other organised. All of the paperwork, someone else reads as well as me. Everything that happens that I have to remember, I tell everyone in the family. Everyone else's brains are working to cover for any brain fog I have. Even going to the shops for bits and pieces for packing, I have someone with me who can tell me if I'm getting vague and declare a rest break. Whenever a problem comes up, we talk it out until someone works out a solution.

Another really big risk is that I will end up with a major lupus flare from the work involved in moving. We started packing early, as soon as I signed the contract. Packing very slowly means I'm not under as much physical pressure. I'm breaking the big job down into very small jobs. I want to do my fair share of the packing, but I know if time gets tight, the family will be there to help. At the other end, unpacking can take as long as it takes. If I only unpack a box a day, I'll still get through them eventually.

Of course, sometime very soon after we move in, we'll need another trip to Ikea, and you know the risks involved there. That always takes me at least a week to recover, with the risk of a flare no matter how careful I am.

One risk I really can't control is that the distance we're moving (we had to go a long way to find somewhere affordable) means that it will make sense for me to get a new GP. Having been with the same doctor since before I was diagnosed - this is probably the scariest part of the transition. There's a risk I won't find a doctor anywhere near as good as the one I have now. I'll get to my specialist with public transport, but travelling an hour or more each way for my regular visit to my GP seems a bit extreme, when there will be several other doctors within a couple of minutes' drive of my new home. I've already had recommendations for someone who's supposed to be good. But changing doctor feels like a much bigger step than buying a house. I haven't yet worked out how I'm going to handle that transition.

3 comments:

Changes can be good. New neighbors to meet, new sights and sounds, maybe new ways to do things, different store names and new doctors.Neighbors can be asked where the best place is to shop or eat out.Walks or drives will quickly familiarize you with the area.With your records in hand, I am sure you will find a doctor to take good care of you, and I am never surprised to find out I am lucky, that they are treating patients who are worse off than I am.Life is change, accept the good and fight the bad.Good luck with both.Mike

Other blogs and books by the same author

Blogs

Patchwork

Patchwork is an anthology of short stories and poems by author and blogger Iris Carden. In this volume, you will deal with the aftermath of a dog bite in Bad Moon Rising, spend a sleepless night with The Possum in the Roof, and investigate a weird religious cult in The Time of Blood and Death. The print version of the book has a bonus story not in the eBook version.

Beside Still Waters

A book of sermons and brief reflections on Christian Scripture, by Rev Iris Carden. There is no specific order to the items in the book, they are intended to each be a "surprise" in that they are not related to the items around them. It is hoped that in each, the reader will find something new or special, or unexpected, a message from God. Rev Iris Carden has a Master's Degree in Theology and more than 10 years of experience as a Christian minister.

Cat-it-orial

Mr Bumpy is such a talented cat, he even runs his own website: mrbumpycat.com. He is a blogger, and a very bad cat. His favourite hobby is world domination. His next hobby is harassing the humans and other animals he shares a home with. In this book, you can see the world through the eyes of a megalomanicat, and some of the other animals who share his home.

Group Meeting

(Novella) In a facility for people recovering from mental illness: a group of people with sinister pasts starts to be visited by a girl who doesn't exist.

Karlee

Failing author Terry Dixon is made an offer that seems unbelievable. He can have all of his problems solved, have everything he has ever wanted, for a price. The price is something that "will not be too difficult" for him to pay - but it is not specified what it actually will be. With bills mounting up and a deadline looming, Terry agrees to a deal with something he knows nothing about.

About the Author

Iris Carden is a retired Uniting Church minister and former journalist. Lupus forced her to stop working. On good days she writes.

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This is an Australian Blog

Some of the issues, resources, information discussed may not be relevant to overseas readers. (Some things may not even be relevant outside of Queensland.)

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