Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The weather has been so nice lately and really getting me in the mood for all kinds of Fall/Halloween type stuff.

You know spending way too much fun money at the Halloween store eating pumpkin flavored whatever (that rules)! But for some weird reason a real pumpkin is beyond bland.

Then there's all kinds of Haunted and Hayrides, new horror movies (Yeah I know remakes) and it's perfectly fine for me to have a gazillion skeletons in my living room at least one month of the year.

So in that happy holiday spirit I decided to invite one of the coolest ladies that my wife Jackie and I had the pleasure of meeting at Todd Staruch's Grindhouse Nights at Cafe Z's "Missy Heather" (Byron)!

She's in Newt Wallen's movie "Midnight Show" (Yup, the same one that I play a killer redneck in the trailer "Her Time of The Month").

And Bradley Creanzo is in it too, which ties into this whole paragraph because Missy is in Bradley's movie "The Bible Belt Slasher Part II (The Holy Terror)".

When she's not in Horror Movies, she's entertaining the Troops with The USO and doing Pin Up Girl photo shoots that are guaranteed to make you smile!

I had invited her to stop by The Abandoned Mom and Pop Video Store in Keansburg and even bought a new six foot ladder so she could climb in the window to get in.

Normally I use the door, but the property owner put a really good lock on this time. And I think he was still annoyed at me for hooking up that transformer outside the last time.

Missy had arrived at the video store and instead of using the ladder to get inside she picked the lock with her Freddy Glove

(Or would it be called a Freddie Glove?)

I turned the power back on to the shop, took a selection from the Horror section fired up the old VCR and Console TV then started the interview.

What was the first Monster Toy that you've ever owned?

Godzilla. Of course I misappropriated it from my older
brother. There was just no way I was getting stuck playing with dolls when he
had a perfectly good monster.

What was your favorite Monster Series when you were younger
and your favorite now?

Growing up I'd have to say The Munsters. They were
supposed to be considered freaks, I just found myself laughing and wanting to
dress weird. My new favorite is the Directv Original series, Hemlock Grove.
Those with cable are missing out.

What was your favorite Halloween costume growing up?

Police Officer. Just something about having a cap gun in my
hand was exciting.

Which Female Monster is your favorite?

Morticia Addams. Her character was multifaceted. Witchcraft
was implied. Smoke often materialized as she walked. Her passionate love affair
with her husband was something of a faery tale. I relate to her joy and love of
all things macabre.

What was the first Monster ask you've ever owned?

(This was supposed to be mask...)

"Monster ask" ** Can you repeat or clarify the
question?** If you mean the first Monster disk/movie, it was Bud Abbott and Lou
Costello meet Frankenstein. Not only does watching it make me nostalgic for
simpler times but the comedic timing between Abbott and Costello is nothing
short of perfect.

What was our favorite Monster Cereal?

Who could forget General Mills, Frankenberry Cereal? I
looked forward to Halloween time every year just so I could have some. Still
do.

Did you have any imaginary monster fears, like Under the bed
monster or Closets monster types?

Imaginary no, real
YES. I was terrified of the Closet Monster and for good reason. I didn't know
this at the time but the previous owner of my childhood home hung himself &
died in my bedroom closet. As a child I would see him. It terrified me. I
didn't know what he wanted or if he could hurt me.

Oddest thing you've ever seen given a monster theme just to
sell it?

An urn. It's actually one of my favorite items, believe it or not. I
use it for my sugar. It looks odd but suits me just fine.

You're stranded on a desert Island with an atomic battery
powered DVD player. What Five Horror DVD's or Blu-Rays do you have with you?

Abbott & Costello's Hold that Ghost, The original House
on Haunted Hill, Shaun of the dead, Clive Barker's Hellraiser and the German
film Anatomie, in America called Anatomy.

If you hit a huge lottery what Horror Prop, Place or Costume
would you want to buy?

An old church or
castle in England.

Zombies are making their way in the front door and you're
running out the back, what three things do you take with you?

My Bug out Bag (which is filled with MRE's, batteries,
knives and other essentials) My Cigarettes and lighter.

And just as she answered the last of my questions the police decided to try out their new battering ram thanks to me having the volume to high the TV.

But good thing for us I remembered the hidden rooom behind the horror section.

So we were able to race out the back door and that's when I thanked her for stopping by and then we continued our escape.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

First I have to thank my friend Tom Connolly for telling me to turn what started out as a funny conversation between us into an article.

Now the whole thing started when we were talking about growing up in the 70's and I was like "When I was younger I always thought I would never have any (Back in my day) hardship stories."

My dad was a poor Hungarian farm boy that was made to go to Blacksmith school, and had a teachers that would knock you out just as fast as look at you. And that's not even counting all of the ways you could be dismembered or killed doing it.

Then my mom grew up here and had to work at a sewing factory since she was sixteen. This was because her father had passed away and her mom needed help with expenses, so she quit school to work more to help pitch in.

And there I was going "Wow, I'll never have anything to tell kids about how hard I had it back in the 70's and early 80's."

And then the future proved me wrong...

I love hearing the tales of woe from kids today saying they only had two DVD'S to watch and only one Video Game to play. Or that they weren't in the range of a good Wi-Fi or 4G signal.

WHAT?!

Back in my day I would have sold my soul for any one of those on one of my "HORRIFIC CAR RIDES".

Let me tell you all how it was back in the old days, and describe the average working class family car.

First off they had a all vinyl floor covering that went from the trunk all the way to firewall. Nope no carpeting here kids that was for the rich folks.

Okay this one was a later model with some polyester plushyness to it, but the earlier had all vinyl matching the interior so stick with me. Oh and check out that real simulated wood grain!

And nothing beats the fine look and feel of Naugahyde Seats. "What's Naugahyde" you ask? Well legend has it that The Nauga's are monsters that live in the wilds of The America's.

The good news is The Nauga Monsters don't need to be killed to get their hides, because they can shed them at will. The bad news is the seats their hides makes flash freezes you in Winter, and fry you like bacon in Summer. And if you have a sunburn and sit on it, you can just forget all about that skin ever growing back.

Of course the cars had those great all metal seat belt buckles mounted in just the right area to retain all of the sun's heat.

Once again later model, but the older flip opens were bigger and even more like a skillet! But these were no fun either...

And I'm sure you noticed there's no shoulder belts. That's okay because we didn't use the lap belt anyway, and your mother's arm crushing your breast bone and ribs would save you from getting killed by the windshield first. (You younger kids ask Grandma about that one).

What's that about climate control zones?Oh sure there were two, one with the windows up front along with the air vent doors (yes air vent doors) that could be opened for more breeze.

The only problem is you also get any and all sand, road gravel and dirt shot at you too through the air vent door. Oh and there's the all vinyl floor covering I told you about and that round thing in the middle of the dash was a 70's GPS. And this was what the interior I grew up with looked like...

Oh back to the Climate Control Zones. If you were in a four door you had the added breeze from the rear windows too.

In the Winter you can sit up front and roast from the Hot, Hotter, Hottest heater/defroster or get less heat in the back, but need to use a smelly hand crochet afghan to make up for it. And if your parent was a smoker (Gross) you could fight about opening the back window a little just so you could let the smoke out. But be complained to because you were letting the heat out too... Yup nothing like smelling like The Marlboro's Man lung. (And people wonder why I never tried it).

Let's move on to "ENTERTAINMENT"!

Yup we have that for you right at your fingertips here.

All the loudness you want to your left and AM Stations you can handle to your right. What, where's the FM, HD and Satalite? I'll tell you where that is waaaaaay off in the future. But for now this bad boy will get you all the music and news you want until you go under a overpass, in a tunnel or out to the rural parts of the county.

Or could entertain yourself by tempting fate and bodily harm by playing "Let's make Mom loose it till she goes into SWING AND REACH mode".

The rules are simple

Rule 1: Mom must be driving and by herself in the front bench seat.

Rule 2: You must be in the back seat. Alone or with a sibling. Fair warning more than one sibling may cost you the game, and run the risk of you becoming their entertainment.

Rule 3: The only way to win is to hide on the rear passenger floorboard (Safety Zone) until Mom quits or you are caught in a death grip.

Or you could just play it safe and read the same comic books, Monster Magazines, Horror Comics and issues of MAD, CRAZY and CRACKED until you have them memorized and you drool and stare at the trees rushing by.

And where did all of this vehicular torture that even Jigsaw himself couldn't think up lead to?

Well that would be to one of my Father's favorite two hour excursions, which was usually one of his fellow Hungarian friends houses. Now don't get me wrong they were very nice people, but none of them had kids and the houses were very remote and only accessible by a road like this.

My Mom doesn't speak a word of Hungarian so it was a little hard for her to have any real conversation. I was still young back then so there wasn't a whole lot that I would have figured out a translation for anyway. So I was called over for the polite formalities stuff.

Cable Television was way off from being in everyone's house yet, Antenna reception wasn't all that great and the trips were always on a Sunday.

Terror at Crimson Creek is the chilling story of a media production company contracted to do a fundraising video on Spring Hills State Hospital, but the crew has an ulterior motive.

Determined to make a name for themselves and bring to light the true reasons for Spring Hills gruesome nickname, Crimson Creek, the novice group is about to discover more than they hoped for and quickly find themselves fighting for survival. Both Shocking and controversial, the film is told from a found footage point of view, with a twist ending that wil leave audiences stunned for days.

But the makers of Terror at Crimson
Creek need your help. Check out their kick-ass Indiegogo
Campaign at http://igg.me/at/terroratcrimsoncreek/x/4569999. They
need a hand in raising funds to make this bloody film happen. Set to
shoot in October 2013, pledges are vital to see this feature claw its way into
theatres the following summer of 2014. Get involved right now as you only
have a limited time to receive some amazing rewards.

In loving memeory of John K. Fitzgerald "Fitz" 1964-1968

WWFD?

In loving memory of James Harris 1980-2017

Doc Terror Forever!

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