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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Flagyl

So I'm about to add Flagyl and also B12 shots. Flagyl is one of the medications that I have avoided the entire time I've been in Lyme treatment. As someone who was completely against the use of medications prior to Lyme, I'm scared of Flagyl. It has a black box warning as a carcinogen.

Is getting rid of Lyme worth the risk of developing cancer? It's hard to say for me. I'm getting toward the point that I'm starting to lose my ability to function like a normal person. Lyme is literally taking my life from me so I have to do something to stop the progression from occurring. I know if I wait too long, Flagyl will be more difficult to take due to all the bacteria converting to cysts. I have already waited a year with strong Lyme symptoms. I've likely had a milder or dormant state of Lyme infection for many years prior to that.

I have tried to rationalize the Flagyl addition to calm myself down. After all, we are exposed to NUMEROUS carcinogens every day. The difference is, we don't have a warning printed on our microwaves, cell phones, foods etc. Also, Lyme disease has been linked to lymphoma so having an advanced stage of Lyme infection that is not treated aggressively, can increase the chances of developing cancer as well. The studies that were done on Flagyl involved animals and much higher doses than what is normally given to humans. There was also a study done that showed no significant increase in cancer from Flagyl.

So I decided to just go ahead and start taking it. My dose is a little lower than what some doctors would prescribe based on my weight but I have no desire to ramp this up because of my fear of the medication and the herxing that is likely to come (for me herxing is always very strong in the 3rd week). So far, I have not had anything unbearable happen, but I was already in a pretty strong herx when I started Flagyl and I'm dreading the 3rd week of this.

One of the increases that I've noticed since adding Flagyl is being off balance transiently. This gets a lot worse when it's dark. I fell yesterday getting out of a car in the evening. Another increase is a different type of exhaustion than I normally have. I feel overwhelmingly weak and ill particularly in the morning or if I oversleep. I think that could be due to a buildup of toxins or adrenal insufficiency along with Flagyl.

I'm also getting spacier and can't really watch TV (especially in a dark room). I have a problem getting tranced by Christmas lights and headlights also. I just feel really "out of it." This worries me. I'm worried it's some type of seizure but it's not new to Flagyl. I've had this several times over the past year and even had two definite (unconscious) seizures last year when I was off all medications.

And finally, my symptom of twitching is increasing in my eyes, hands, legs etc. I already ruined a friend's table this week because I lost the feeling in my hands and dropped something caustic all over the wood finish. That was followed by an unproportional breakdown because I felt so badly about it. All of the things that have been happening to me for the past year caught up to me at once. Now these friends probably think I'm completely crazy. I never cry in front of people about anything. They weren't even upset about the table and were trying to make me feel like it was no big deal but I was overwhelmed and couldn't pull it together that day.

These new increases are in addition to all my "regular" symptoms of pain, numbness, no appetite, etc. This is tough, but I have to keep trying. I cannot stand the thought of living my life with this level of symptoms. I literally will have no joy in my life if I can't get this under control so that I can be a functioning "normal" person.