Split personalities in me

There are two persons in me Good and Bad. When I am good, I am less trouble. When I am bad, I am more trouble.

When I am good, if it rains I will share my Umbrella, the side with the hole on my companion. When I am bad, I will hide my umbrella and don't mind going wet, instead of sharing.

When someone uses an ear bud and enjoy twirling it inside their ears, eyes half closed, mouth half open...The good inside me would want to jerk their hands away, while the bad inside me would want to stuff the bud hard inside their ears.

When a friend smokes, good side of me would say, "Hold on! after all you need to hold on to something as you age." The bad side of me would say, "Feel free to kill yourself; just let me know when things worsen, I will arrange a luxury suite at the world's best cancer hospital".