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This particular issue is far from settled, since it is a fact that certain levels of radiation lead to transcription errors and such, but at the very least, studies like this one reinforce the idea that we’re not all of us going to drop dead in a couple years.

The study, performed by the Danish Cancer Society and documented in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, studied brain cancer rates in Scandinavian countries over a period of 30 years. It is likely ongoing, but they have issued the results of the 30-year analysis, not having found “any clear change in the long-term time trends in the incidence of brain tumours.” The critical period in the mid-nineties when cellular use really spiked was the focal point for their study, and they found that while there has been a constant increase in glioma diagnosis since the 70s, and any deviations from the slow increase are explainable by other means than mobile use.

Like most studies, this one does not prove anything, but it would be coincidental indeed if every Scandie managed to avoid brain cancer by chance, while also happening to be among the most mobile-friendly areas on Earth.

So brain cancer appears to be out, but, and I’m not joking here, what about stomach, prostate, and ovarian cancer? Our phones spend more time in our pockets and purses than up against our ears, so that’s probably still worth a look.