A desperate housewife's night out in L.A.

LOS ANGELES - First, a confession: until I ate at Eva Longoria's new restaurant in Los Angeles this month, I had only the vaguest notion who she was.

I knew, sort of, that she had something to do with Desperate Housewives, a hugely popular show to which I remain innocent of exposure.

I knew as well she was a staple of the celebrity press, which was driven to new heights of frenzy by her wedding last year to San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker.

Because I'm not a reader of Maxim, I did not know the 33-year-old Longoria was named "the hottest woman in the world" by the estimable men's magazine in 2005 and 2006. (She slumped to ninth after her marriage last year -- perhaps Maxim sees sexual availability as a prerequisite for hotness.)

And I somehow missed her appearances in the 2006 movies The Sentinel and Harsh Times, and her latest celluloid epic, Over Her Dead Body, which played briefly in Ottawa in February.

Still, when LA Inc., Los Angeles' visitors and convention bureau, said it could arrange dinner at Beso, as Longoria's new eatery on Hollywood Boulevard is called, it didn't take me long to say yes.

A quick consultation with Dr. Google disclosed that the restaurant, which opened last month, is one of L.A.'s current hot spots, drawing such celebrities as Sheryl Crow, Felicity Huffman, William H. Macy, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Simpson.

All that star power has attracted a swarm of paparazzi to Hollywood's Walk of Fame, which passes by Beso's door.

As an added inducement, Eva herself has been greeting celebrity friends and other guests some nights, raising the prospect of face time with the former two-time hottest woman in the world.

So it was a bit of a letdown when I arrived, unfashionably early on a Monday night, to find no paparazzi, no Eva -- no celebrities at all, in fact. The restaurant was three-quarters empty, though it filled up nicely as the evening progressed.

Denied the cheap buzz of star exposure, my dining companions and I were left with the restaurant and the food.

There was reason for optimism on that score. Longoria's partner in Beso is Boston celebrity chef Todd English, best known for his well-regarded Olives restaurants and his cooking shows on television. Beso is his first West Coast venture.

Downstairs, it boasts a ceviche station, with lobsters and whole fish displayed on ice, and a massive square bar for fresh-fruit cocktails. Upstairs, there's a private lounge where Eva's friends can repair for greater privacy.

But what, you ask, of the food? Despite English's stellar reputation, most reviews on L.A. food message boards have been negative, some witheringly so, though the Los Angeles Times food critic gave Beso a generally positive notice.

Maybe I'm just a muktuk-munching hick from the frozen north, but I enjoyed most of the food served to our party. Though some websites erroneously describe the food as Tex-Mex, it's really international fusion cuisine with Spanish flair.

We began with three small appetizers -- a flavourful yellowtail ceviche, superior guacamole (allegedly made from Longoria's own recipe) and three petite lobster tacquitos. In my estimation, only the last wasn't worth the money.

My main course paella came with lobster, shellfish, roasted chicken and chorizo atop moist saffron rice. I ate until I could eat no more. My companions had grilled swordfish, perfectly cooked if a bit uninspired, and a well-received skirt steak.

Desserts were hit-and-miss. Two sherbets -- lemon rosemary and coconut raspberry -- blended unlikely flavours delightfully. But the mango sherbet was bland, and the chocolate molten beignets were little more than insanely expensive Timbits.

There are doubtless better places to dine in Los Angeles than Beso. Michelin, which issued its first Los Angeles guide last November, awarded one star to 15 L.A. restaurants, and two stars to three others. Serious foodies should seek those places out and give Beso a miss.

But for those who want to mix Hollywood glamour with decent -- and occasionally excellent -- food in agreeable surroundings, Beso is worth a visit.

Caterer to the stars Akasha Richmond has brought her organic cuisine to the historic Hull Building in downtown Culver City. Her namesake restaurant-bar-bakery features New American cuisine offering comfort food with big flavors and sustainable ingredients. www.akasharestaurant.com

Uber chef Nobu Matsuhisa has provided another gastronomic temple dedicated to all things of the sea. A sophisticated palette of textures and colors creates a mesmerizing backdrop for L.A.'s gliteratti hoping to catch sight of celebs feasting on monkfish pate with caviar and lobster ceviche. www.noburestaurants.com

The Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens' new $19-million habitat for six African lowland gorillas is now open. Visitors journey along a misty, forested pathway for close-up views of the gorillas. Glassed viewing areas and planted moats are all that separate guests from the world's largest primate.

L.A. 's first-ever indoor skydiving wind tunnel. Housed in the world's tallest indoor wind tunnel, thrill-seekers enjoy a close approximation of a true skydiving experience as they are suspended in mid-air at heights of up to 10 metres and wind speeds of more than 200 kilometres per hour.

The former J. Paul Getty Museum in Malibu has reopened as the Getty Villa following extensive renovations. It houses Greek, Roman and Etruscan antiquities and is a centre for the study of classical antiquities, archaeology and comparative ancient cultures.

Slated to open this spring, the Simpsons are the latest stars to get their own ride at Universal Studios Hollywood. The ride, featuring all the show's most popular characters, takes visitors through an amusement park dreamed up by Krusty the Clown. www.universalstudioshollywood.com

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