You know that idiot who, reunited with his MacBook following a winter break in an exotic culture, feels moved to trot out all the homespun wisdom and shining insight he has gleaned from his glorious voyage? Well, I'm just back from two weeks in Cuba.

If you thought the title for most outrageous use of auto-tune in a 2011 cover version of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas had gone to the aforementioned Canadian pop puppy, think again.
I present the debut video for one of my favourite moonlighting projects - a group of seven singing cello players known as The Massive Violins. My housemate made this for us on a budget of £30 (which covered four German hot dogs and six rides on the carousel) and I hope you don't take it any more seriously than we take ourselves - in particular the "finale", which was an improvised joke in the studio that somehow made it into the final version...
Oh, and if anyone happens to be in London on Thursday, please come to our gig as shamelessly advertised beneath the clip.

Casting has begun. This is a pivotal moment, as it is the point at which people other than myself can begin to envisage what the finished film will look like. And that is generally the point at which they start - if they are ever going to - to get excited.

In by far the gayest thing to happen to the newly multi-voiced Lost Boys, Peter Knegt and Matthew Hammett Knott have decided to compare and contrast their top ten Rihanna songs, in honor of today's release of her "Talk That Talk."

I am in the process of trying to make a short film. I thought it might be interesting to write about it from the very start, when nothing is really certain, nor anyone particularly sure how or when any of it will become any less so. My natural instinct would be to narrate the whole experience in a manner that casts me as some kind of inspired and inspiring auteur, driving my uncompromising artistic vision to the screen with guile and panache. But it would surely be far more interesting to force myself to be honest. And the truth is that the whole process is bound to be a severe learning experience for me more than anyone, and that 90% of it will be spent sitting in front of my laptop drinking coffee and wondering when I can next masturbate.