Doing my project, working in a group of 3, My friend/coworker gave me an unexpected reply on basic question "what should I do for the project", "do what ever you prefer and like", told she. Here everything began...

What do I prefer? What do I actually like. Following my everyday tasks and following the idea of total success I realized that I actually completely lost myself, or maybe I never found me really. When I was young, analyses of some philosophical theories have given me a clear idea of the world, which I followed up till the moment I forgot what I was following. Complete change of countries, and therefore societies, has forced me to change and adapt myself the way I was. I canceled my roots and became a new person, but in this case it was unfondumental way of doing it. Lets say I was building my new personality on the air, attaching myself to things and rules I had to follow, I was depended on people, which I guess were important at that moment. I felt comfortable when I had a frames around me, I liked when people were telling me what to do and how to do it even if it is completely not my personality as I am very opinionated and stubborn character. Probably I was learning and adapting myself to rules without changing myself but loosing me on the way. I still kept my priorities, I was abscessed with boing things right and perfect, but what is actually right? Even writing this post now I have a thought that I better work on my project in stead of go philosophical and what's worst not finding a reply, and instead, coming up with a millions of other questions.

Human is been done to believe in something: plenty of religions, choose the one you like, world has a wide selection; science and politics; space and gravity, what else? you.... you can believe in yourself... Otherwise human mind can go too far which will cause complete madness... But what is maddens itself? Do we know what is actually right or wrong? Paulo Coelho actually asked the same question to readers of his book "Veronika Decides to Die". According to his theory there is no right or wrong, something what everyone considers to be wrong actually can be right. And there is no proper definition of what is right and wrong? I know, thats completely loose of mind... and it's hard to follow. But indeed what if we ask all this questions? Completely philosophical activity to go crazy and loose yourself, or actually find yourself eventually.

We live with a life instructions which you can follow day by day or not. But what if thats all is completely wrong... And we actually should be free in our mind to do whatever we want. Ok, the idea is great, but it will cause a complete chaos. We, as humans in current society, are meant to be in a frame: life rules, society rules and regulations, family which has a certain requirements and expectations. So in a way we are meant to be the one which society expect us to be, or just choose to be against and follow yourself no mater what by breaking rules and stereotypes. I am, as down to earth mind holder, getting scared on how far it can actually go...