Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Re-Finding myself

Hey guys!

The title sounds so silly... I know. Let me explain a little. So some of you that know me fairly well know that I struggle from pretty severe anxiety. I have been dealing with this since, well it really started hitting me around 13 years old.... I am just now getting to the point where I will actually talk about it. I feel as I can handle it a little better now than I could even 3 years ago. I feel as I need to tell y'all a very brief back ground before I start how I re-found myself.

So 2 years ago I was working at a corporate office job. It was 7:30- 4. I was home every night with my family. I got to cook dinner every night and enjoy my time with them. Everything was great. My husband and I always knew (for the most part) how our days would go. But there was always a feeling that I wasn't completely happy. So since the day I met my husband I told him one of my biggest dreams was to be a hairdresser. Long story short I gave up my nice corporate office job to start hair school. That was the craziest time in our lives. We thought it would never slow down. Little did we know it was just beginning...

I took on a Store Manager position a little over a year ago. It has been crazy!! The owners before did not take care of us as much as we should had been. We (everybody in the company) were all worked pretty hard to say the least. Me being me I would push myself more than I should. This was hard on me. I didn't want to feel like a failure at being a manager but now I was failing at being a mom and wife.... I couldn't find balance. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't find time to even sit and cry some days because there wasn't enough time for me to do that. I work in customer service and had to put on a smile. Put on a smile for my husband, my employees, my clients, MY BABY!!! I couldn't let anybody see that I was defeated. Just when I thought I was done we got new owners (we got taken over by corporate and now are company owned) I finally get 2 days off a week. I haven't had that since I took my position.

I took time the last few days to clean! Clean out all the closets, clean out every drawer in my house, clean out my car, clean out every thing and anything I could, but mainly clear out my head! If you know me than you know I am crazy about things being clean and organized!! I stopped caring for a little bit. But I am back!!

This is how I welcomed myself back into this world!!! I am back to doing things I love! That I enjoy! I get to spend time with my family!! Cook dinner! Clean and Organize again. I cant even begin to explain to you how decluttering my house makes my mind feel decluttered. It feels amazing to actually see my husband be a father and husband instead of either hearing it on the phone on my break when he calls or seeing it on text from work.

P.S. Although my crazy little brat is so much more wild now that I am seeing her a lot more I wouldn't change her sassy little attitude for anything!!