Reminder: Elite Squad opens today and it is awesome. Here is my review.

UPDATE, 11-11-11. Elite Squad 2, now called Elite Squad: The Enemy Within, opens today in New York (gradually spreading to more cities through December). As a reminder, I’m reposting my original review from Sundance. Yes, it’s true, I was probably desperate for a good film at that point in the festival, but I think the hyperbole was warranted. I dare you to see it and dispute me.

Oh my God. You guys, excuse me if I gush. It’s just that, when you come to the Sundance Film Festival, you go in expecting a certain type of film. You expect to see, as David Sedaris once wrote of student films, “grainy black-and-white movies in which ponderous, turtlenecked men slogged the stony beaches, cursing the gulls for their ability to fly.”

What you do not expect to see is a two-hour, Brazilian The Wire on steroids. Again, excuse me if I gush. I should really wait until I have some emotional distance from this experience before I try to write about it, to reflect a little first, but I don’t care. I’ve been standing in lines behind farting, greasy-haired weirdos and riding muddy, stinking buses all day long, and it was all worth it, because an hour ago I watched Brazilian director José Padilha choke out Michael Mann with his own nine-foot dick (Padilha’s dick, that is). Without resorting to cheap hyperbole, I can report that it kicked my balls up my ass and shat them back onto my chest while two-hand tapping an Eddie Van Halen solo. If that doesn’t make sense to you, you haven’t seen this movie.

I cannot imagine a more commercial film than Elite Squad 2. It has murders, car chases, Brazilian women applying tanning oil to be-thonged posteriors, machine guns, drugs, media critique, political intrigue, and cop drama. It also happens to be incredibly intelligent and well made. As violent as it is, the last thing it is is mindless. Elite Squad 2 is a movie Steven Spielberg might have made 20 years ago if he were a better filmmaker with bigger balls. It might be the most competently-made action film since Die Hard, and less cheesy.

Oh right, summary. The script, from director José Padilha, City of God writer Bráulio Mantovani, and Rodrigo Pimentel, follows (and is narrated by) Nascimento, played with understated brilliance by Wagner Moura, the leader of a ruthless special-forces division known as BOPE, as he manages the fallout from his handling of a violent prison riot (HEAD SHOTS! PINK MIST! BRAINS ON A T-SHIRT!) and gets promoted to a job in the government, where he discovers massive corruption. Other players include Diogo Fraga, a bleeding-heart lefty professor who calls Nascimento a fascist and happens to be married to Nascimento’s ex-wife; Fortunato, a loud-mouthed Glenn Beck type pundit who’s a dead ringer for Paul Sorvino, and Rocha, a dirty cop who learns that it’s more lucrative to run a protection racket yourself than skim off the drug gangs doing it for you (like duh, dude).

Even if Elite Squad was a Bourne-type popcorn flick with no ambitions other than putting asses in seats to see the kind of tits-and-fire filled catharsis spectacle we already know they love, it would be commendable for doing it incredibly goddamn well. But it’s more than that. It’s also a dead-on, insidery political satire the likes of The Wire or The West Wing, slick as hell, but clearly an inspired vision with something to say about the nature of crime, media, politics, and human nature. BOOM, THAT’S HOW YOU DO JACKET COPY, YOU WANNABE, PR-FLUNKY SLAP DICKS!

Other critics will like this movie, but I don’t know if they’ll rave. It’s not as hip to like a violent, straight-up action film with a decent budget, male leads, mainstream appeal, and nary a transgender character to be found. But I don’t know how you could deny this one. Could the protagonist, Nascimento be less of a boy scout? Less of a well-intentioned Jack Bauer who hates crime and loves his son, and more of a boozing, charismatic womanizer like McNulty? Yeah, probably. But like all the characters, he has a nuanced humanity that comes through, and he feels more like a real person than an archetype. And he plays a character that could easily fall into movie tropes, he’s like Jack Bauer meets Mr. Smith goes to Washington. Only he’s sketched skillfully enough that he feels like more than pandering. That’s the thing about Elite Squad 2 — an event will alter the course of the plot, then another will alter that course, in a way that seems spontaneous and improvisational, but before you know it, it’s become this self-sustaining, cause-and-effect loop Rube-Goldberg machine, feeling perfectly planned from start to finish. All the energy of improvisation with none of the false starts and wasted effort. Are we sure all the escaped Nazis moved to Argentina and not Brazil? This feels like the perfect Latin passion/German craftsmanship hybrid.

I expected a Brazilian movie to be vibrant and visceral and sexy and violent. As I’ve said before, if there was a World Cup of Not Giving a Fuck, Brazil would host, and nary a fuck would be given. What I did not expect was for a Brazilian movie to be so well-crafted and commercial. Commercial is usually an insult. It takes a pretty great movie to turn it into a compliment. I loved Elite Squad 2. It’s meat and potatoes and more. It melted my face off and kicked my balls in.

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"Reminder: Elite Squad opens today and it is awesome. Here is my review."

By: felipepires

01.24.2011 @ 5:25 AM

Bluray will be available next month in Brazil. =)

By: spazmodic

01.24.2011 @ 5:41 AM

Just so we’re clear – what grade did you give Jonah Hex again?

By: RambChops

01.24.2011 @ 5:46 AM

That good huh? Hopefully we get to see it before Fox buys the rights to it and replaces all the characters with talking dogs.

By: RambChops

01.24.2011 @ 5:56 AM

(Back from reading the last posts I missed)

And did I miss something or are we still waiting to hear why Cam Gigandet is the coolest? Because I mean, I feel like this is more important than the Superbowl.

By: GuyLaDouche

01.24.2011 @ 6:56 AM

Nascimento bricks Fortunato into a room in his basement or GTFO.

By: Dingus

01.24.2011 @ 7:08 AM

… an hour ago I watched Brazilian director José Padilha choke out Michael Mann with his own nine-foot d_ck. (Padilha’s d_ck, that is). F me in the A with a purple clown D, it was incredible. It kicked my balls up my A and shat them back onto my chest while two-hand tapping an Eddie Van Halen solo.

If this arousing reviewal wasn’t accredited to a certain ___ (place gender-neutral honorific here) Flince Mankini, I would’ve surmised that such an erudite bon mot was scriven by the contumacious pen of the high priest of the Hollywood heterodoxy, Mr. Armond White, himself. Bravo! Truth to power! (*lionization, sycophancy, stalking, rape van*)

By: Ragnarok

01.24.2011 @ 7:11 AM

The music at the end, was that Flácido Biscoito?

By: Moose

01.24.2011 @ 7:23 AM

A mainstream movie for the ignorant masses shown at an Indie film festival in the scarf capital of the West? I certainly hope there were enough passive-aggressive insults to be heard after the screening.

By: Ace Rimmer

01.24.2011 @ 7:30 AM

Okay, fess up. Who gave Lil’ Petey Hammond the keys to the blog?

By: Dingle Barry

01.24.2011 @ 7:51 AM

My ex-gf used to refer to my balls and dong as the “elite squad.”

Or maybe she was saying “petite squad” and I just changed it in my mind.

Either way, bitch is fat now.

*shoots off fireworks in house*

By: Ace Rimmer

01.24.2011 @ 8:05 AM

I like to refer to my junk as the Wolfman, then pay prostitutes to kick me in the groin.

</over-sharing>

By: Otto Man

01.24.2011 @ 8:07 AM

I haven’t seen the movie, but after reading this review, I need a cigarette.

BOOM, THAT’S HOW YOU DO JACKET COPY, YOU WANNABE PR FLUNKY SLAP D_CKS!

Afuckingmen.

By: Charlie Br0nze

01.24.2011 @ 8:28 AM

Looks alright. *replays favela levels from COD: Modern Warfare 2*

By: Donkey Hodey

01.24.2011 @ 8:53 AM

No, I have not seen Elite Squad 1, but you better believe I am renting the f*ck out of it.

Do yourself a favor and don’t do it. Prequels are never as good as the original.

By: chazz_goodtimes

01.24.2011 @ 8:55 AM

Trailer needs more black eye peas music and nut shots.

Side note from the Podcast- if you buy the locally brewed beer (which is surprisingly good) in Utah at the grocery store the alcohol content is normal and they keep it cold.

By: Patty Boots

01.24.2011 @ 9:25 AM

I’m guessing that the only interesting thing about Red State was the protest/counter-protest outside.

By: LordZnot

01.24.2011 @ 9:27 AM

Typing a PG rated review for this kind of movie seems sorta gay. Not Frisco Gay, but more like Prison Gay. All the grunting and sweating without the fashion sense.

By: RoboPanda

01.24.2011 @ 9:48 AM

Wagner Moura is what would happen if Mark Ruffalo and Katie Holmes had a butt baby. (Why a butt baby? ‘Cause she only does gay dudes now.)

By: LaFavre

01.24.2011 @ 9:48 AM

So, what you’re saying is, you couldn’t get a ticket for Red State?

/Boom goes the dynamite.

By: MenaceIISobriety

01.24.2011 @ 10:45 AM

I felt that way right after I saw Killer Clowns From Outer Space.

It eventually wore off.

By: Homo Erectus

01.24.2011 @ 12:44 PM

You probably dodged a bullet anyway; the only review I’ve seen for Red State so far smacked it around pretty good.

By: gto

01.24.2011 @ 5:22 PM

Brazilian guy here. This movie really rocks. I do recommend you to watch Elite Squad 1, it’s very good also (But I still prefer the second one. More cleverness, less violence).

I live in south of Brazil, far from Rio de Janeiro, but people I know tell that most of things that happen in the movie are perfectly reproduced from Rio’s reality. It reaches a whole different level in social critics for the people who are used to live things like that every day, and that’s the best thing we [Brazilians] think about the Elite Squad movies.

@Ragnarok: The music’s name is “Tropa de Elite” (Elite Squad in Portuguese), performed by Tihuana. There are plenty of versions on Youtube.

By: Chocolate Bear

01.24.2011 @ 6:50 PM

There was an Elite Squad 1? From the review I just figured the movie was so mind alteringly awesome that they automatically went to the sequel.

By: IAteYourCupcakes

01.24.2011 @ 9:15 PM

Also of importance: Knockout motherfucking Ned is in it.

By: thedoom

01.25.2011 @ 12:47 AM

Elite Squad 1 has a pretty slow build-up, but once it gets in gear, watch out. The last 20 minutes are insanely fucking awesome.

By: JessicaD

01.25.2011 @ 10:17 AM

I was going to mention Ruffalo got sort of butch on us, when did that happen?

I just spent a stupid amount of time looking for a theater location in the Baltimore area. I really should have come here first. Apparently a high-budget action movie with sick reviews means nothing if we’re asked to read while watching.

This movie is fucking awesome, but i desagree that is a commertial film, it is very real.
there is a brazilian commertial movie whith head shots, boobs and explosions called ‘2 Coelhos’ (two rabbits). Watch the trailer: