Stoic enough to remake a garment several times over until it's good enough to wear out in public, foolish enough to buy more yarn than I could ever hope to knit, and hopeful enough keep doing it anyway. Plus the other stuff in my life.

Monday, March 13, 2006

a slight faux pas

I saw the Editter today at the supermarket. See, last time I had heard from her, she was happily preggers. So when I saw her coming my way, I craned my neck to peer at her tummy and jokingly told her she still just looks fat.

Now, if I'd left the house just an hour later than I actually did, I would have been home to answer the phone when she rang to tell me that she'd miscarried last night.

My embarrassment at having made such a faux pas was overshadowed by my sorrow at the news.

I'd been looking forward to telling her of all the trials and tribulations she could anticipate as a pregant woman. I'd been mentally going through Baby's newborn clothing and picking out the outfits she might like to borrow for her little one. I was going to recommend pregnancy and parenting books. And now I can't.

I once got a comment like that from someone who knew my mum, but didn't know she had died (6 weeks before the Oldest was born), and cooed over the baby saying, "Ooh, your Mum must be so proud!". I felt awful having to break the news to the poor woman.

this girl already had two kids with two different men and probably had other abortions as well. Not, that I am sterotyping, but she was black and from a low income neighborhood. So, it probably seemed more like an everyday type of thing to her. I also thought it was weird that she would tell people and then terminate. She didn't seem to be torn up about it either, if you know what I mean.

boudica: perhaps in a cultural thing? Apparently in China, abortion is just another form of birth control, and the rise in abortions in NZ is at least partly attributed to the rise in numbers of young Chinese women coming to NZ to study...

jon: yeah, I've already loaned her a book which she wouldn't read when she was expecting - the Kevin book.