Cologne cruise holiday: Offbeat sights on the Rhine's beaten track

Embarking on a relaxing cruise down the Rhine, I was expecting to see hilltop castles and sweeping vineyards on the trip from Basel to Cologne. But I knew this wasn’t going to be a typical journey when I looked out of my cabin window in Basel to see a man in pants floating past holding on to a plastic bag, followed by a bunch of squealing children riding inner tubes on the fast current.

The half-naked man deftly climbed out of the sparkling river, pulled on a smart suit and iPod that had been hidden deep in his plastic bag and then leisurely walked off to work in the late summer sun.

Basel, sensible Switzerland’s most offbeat city, seemed the perfect place to start a cruise down the more unusual parts of the Rhine.

Slow boat to Cologne: The MS Rotterdam was Amy's home on her mystery tour

Our second stop on the 109-passenger MS Rotterdam was Breisach, where we went on an excursion into the Black Forest. I had flown into Basel, but as I was travelling with Shearings they had coaches on hand (most of the passengers had arrived in one) that were ready and waiting to take us to the glacial Lake Titisee.

This picture-perfect picnic area is the last place you would expect to spot Bollywood film stars, but when we arrived the lakeside was packed with throngs of excited Indian tourists who explained to us that this region of Germany doubles as Kashmir in many movies, because of their geographical similarities. Hence the crowd’s presence here on a Bollywood-themed tour.

Things started to get even more cuckoo when we drove past quaint houses with oversized roofs and stopped at a clock-making centre adorned with a giant timepiece.

Going cuckoo: Amy finds out how the clocks are made

We found out how the noisy clocks are made with tiny bellows that create the cuck-ooo sound and there was also time for a slab of the famous Black Forest gateau that had cream as white as snow and chocolate sponge as dark and dense as the surrounding forest.

Our flickering mobile phones flitted between foreign networks as we continued down the Rhine and showed us that we were passing the border into France, then Germany, then France again when we reached Strasbourg.

Situated in the Alsace region, the whole area has a surprisingly Mediterranean feel with its hillside vineyards and rustling cornfields.

Our first stop was the picturesque village of Kayserburg, which was dominated by a grand chateau on the hillside and had winding streets lined with ‘wonky’ houses in a range of colours that looked like sugared almonds. Green signified that the occupant worked the land, blue that they were a fisherman and red that they were a butcher.

Along the cobbled streets there were plenty of delicious bakeries to tempt us, but I saved myself for the steep cobbled streets of the nearby 16th Century village of Riquewihr, which was packed with dinky shops selling freshly baked macaroons in colours that matched the houses of Kayserburg.

It was time to cross the border again and feed our minds on an excursion to Heidelberg, Germany’s oldest university town. Mostly untouched by Allied bombs during the Second World War, the extremely pretty town is now home to well-off celebrities – including tennis ace Boris Becker – who all live high on the hillside in big chateaux overlooking the Neckar river.

But by far the most impressive house in town is the half-ruined Gothic-Renaissance sandstone castle that overlooks Heidelberg and which is home to an enormous wine barrel (the Tun), which can hold 220,000 litres and has a dancefloor built on top of it.

Legend has it that Perkeo, an 18th Century court jester who was in charge of the huge barrel, drank wine his whole life apart from one day when he was ill and the doctor ordered him to drink some water. He died of cholera soon afterwards.

Beautiful Heidelberg: The Karl-Theodor bridge

One place that Heidelburg drunks definitely didn’t want to end up in was the student jail. Although it is now a fascinating museum, it was used as a real prison for inebriated or rowdy students until 1914.

Students and wine buffs alike have their pick of places to get tipsy in romantic Rudesheim, which is just downstream from Heidelberg in the Rheingau wine region of the Rhine (try saying that after a glass of the local brew).

Drosselgasse Street is full of olde-worlde taverns decorated with heavy carved wood doors and smothered in vines that twist across the street to the beer gardens.

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It’s certainly a good idea to pause here and have a drink to steady your nerves before you embark on the cable car up to the Niederwald Monument viewpoint.

It felt as if I was sitting in a little tin bucket as I swung up above the vineyards, grazing the regimented rows of vines below, but it was worth it for the view across the river from the lookout point.

Keeping up the kookiness in Rudesheim was the surreal sight of Siegfried’s Mechanical Music Cabinet.

Inside this slightly bonkers old house there were wall-to-wall wind-up musical instruments, which a very serious lady in a smart bowler hat and white gloves explained to us as she cranked up fairground organs, pianos that played themselves and dancing dolls.

Home to the mega-stars: Heidelberg is a favourite with Germany's elite

Our last morning took us along the beautiful Rhine of popular imagination. The river was flanked by vineyards lining the steep hillsides as we glided past pretty German towns with half-timbered houses and majestic castles sitting on outcrops.

At our final destination of Cologne we turned from the blue Rhine into the murkier-looking Moselle to berth near the imposing cross-shaped Gothic cathedral. I was almost sad to be back on the main tourist trail after discovering so many offbeat sights along the beaten track of the Rhine.

A ten-day coach option is also available which includes two nights’ hotel accommodation, dinner, bed and breakfast en/post route. Departures are available between June and August 2011. Shearings offers a choice of 41 river cruise itineraries across 17 ships.