My marriage would flat-out not survive me owning an Oculus Rift

As someone who loves playing games on both my PC and the Xbox One, I should be super-excited about the news that the Oculus virtual reality headset will work natively with Windows 10 and thus work seamlessly with Microsoft’s main gaming platforms. However, there’s a big reason why I’m not the least bit hyped for this awesome new development: Frankly put, my marriage would not survive me owning a virtual reality headset.

My wife already suffers enough with my gaming habits. Trying to pry me away from my monitor when I’m trying to slay a griffon in The Witcher 3 or when I’m performing just one more turn in a Civilization game can be difficult and understandably tests her patience. But at the very least, she’s able to use visual or audio cues to inform me that it’s time to get off my ass and do some weeding.

With an Oculus, on the other hand, my eyes and ears would be completely immersed in a gaming world. I have no doubt that I would get severely addicted to being fully immersed in virtual environments and would have a tough time breaking free from them. Additionally, the only way my wife would be able to get my attention would be through a swift kick to the stomach.

And this is the problem I see for VR headsets: I think they’ll be very popular among single guys in their early 20s, but once those guys actually settle down and have a long-term relationship with someone, they’ll need to stuff their headsets in a box somewhere. Why? Because having your wife leave you because you spend too much time slaying virtual orcs with a VR headset strapped to your face is just about the saddest way to go through life that I can think of.