Here's How These Epic Communication Charts Can Unlock The World

Stuart
Friedman is the CEO of Global Context, an
international coaching, consulting and training firm,
specializing in high-impact business communications that
brings unsurpassed breakthroughs for bottom-line results.

The article features author
Richard D. Lewis’ series of “National Communication Patterns."
Each diagram in the series shows how people from a given country
tend to communicate, including how they decide when to speak or
stay silent, choose their words or emotions, or how to influence
others.

Even the most experienced
travelers will be surprised by how many different communication
styles exist across the globe. Especially between countries they
had thought were similar. For example, if you think Americans
communicate just like the British, or at least like Canadians,
you should think again.

It might just scare you when
you recall the times you negotiated, managed,
presented–or
communicated anything–in
any of these countries, but didn’t know what you didn’t
know.

Well, you’re not alone. Since
it was published on March 26th, the article has had over half a million
views. That’s an impressive number. In part, it’s a testament to
how important the right intercultural skills are in today’s
global business environment.

Since many of you are seeing
these diagrams for the first time, here’s an important cautionary
note. You know how David Letterman will look into the camera
before someone performs an outrageous stunt and say, “Please
don’t try this at home, or without professional supervision”?
Well, beware: For although the diagrams are powerful tools when
used correctly, failure to do so can cause problems – including
mistrust, damaged relationships, and lost business.

In this and future blogs, we’ll
take a “deep dive” into many of these diagrams giving you the
insights you need to get to more results with anyone,
anywhere.

So let’s begin with a few
big-ticket items that will start us on the right track: We’ll
introduce you to your own skepticism, you’ll learn to recognize a
trick your brain plays on you that I call the “I Thought So!”
Syndrome, you’ll see how the diagrams can help you understand the
madness to someone’s method, and finally you’ll gain a new
appreciation for the importance of context.

1. IF YOU’RE SKEPTICAL,
IT MIGHT BE YOUR CULTURE SHOWING

In a society such as the U.S.A.
where advertising rules the day and false claims run rampant,
being skeptical about something you’ve never heard before is a
natural reaction. Add a bit of cultural superiority along with
some occasional cynicism, and you have a distinctly American
communication pattern. For example, when we say, “You must be
kidding!” it’s often said with intensity, but seldom do we mean
it literally. What we’re usually thinking is “How can that
possibly be true? I don’t think it is, but if you can convince
me, I’m willing to listen to what you have to say."

It’s always difficult to accept
information that challenges fundamental beliefs. But with the
right mindset and a strong desire to always try to see things
from someone else’s perspective, even the most skeptical American
can become more adept at intercultural business.

2. THE “I THOUGHT
SO!” SYNDROME

Let’s say that you’ve had
experience working with the French. While looking at the French
diagram, you start nodding your head in agreement when you read,
“Be prepared for vigorous logical debate”.

Because you’re feeling
vindicated, you forward this to your coworkers with the comment,
“No wonder everybody hates the French!” And that’s where the “I
Thought So!” Syndrome grabs hold.

You see, without realizing it
you just experienced a phenomenon that cognitive scientists call
confirmation bias. It’s when you encounter new information, but
your mind filters out anything that doesn't support your existing
belief.

But the real insidious part to
a cognitive bias is that you actually begin to think your opinion
was “validated” by an expert. As a result, you now have less
tolerance for the French than before!

3. COMMUNICATION
PATTERNS – IS THERE A MADNESS TO THEIR METHODS?

You’ll notice arrowheads on the diagram outlines. These
show the various phases of the communication as the discussion
progresses, including verbal and non-verbal behaviors, reactions,
responses, justifications, etc.

The vertical height of each diagram is labeled the “Word
Base” and has also been referred to as the “conversation range”.
But these terms are vague and don’t convey what’s actually taking
place. So instead let’s think of the diagram’s height as
the “Number of Words Spoken” at any given point in the
discussion.

Although individual personalities, preferences and
experiences affect communication, the diagrams transcend those
differences and instead highlight the behaviors common among
those in the group. Culture after all is the very definition of
shared collective wisdom. Its’ influence is so ingrained in our
psyche that our conscious minds are seldom aware of any influence
at all.

You know all those things we take for granted and call
common sense? Things like professionalism, courteousness,
accountability, efficiency and candor? Can we assume that these
are all universally accepted values? Well as it turns out,
not so much. The funny thing about common sense is that much of
it isn’t as common as we’ve been led to believe.

Take for instance the recent Malaysian Airlines Flight #370
tragedy. Many have criticized the Malaysian authorities for
repeatedly giving ambiguous and noncommittal statements.How can the authorities behave like that when so many
families are desperately waiting for updates on the
situation?

But turn on CNN for a few hours and you’ll soon notice how
often they need to correct something they reported earlier. In
fact just last week on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart showed a CNN
video clip where the anchorwoman corrected a news story…that was
broadcast less than a minute earlier!

So why is it that we’ll tolerate behaviors that prize speed
over accuracy, but we have no tolerance for someone who has
values that place such a high priority on accurate reporting that
they’d sooner evade answering questions now than have to admit
they were wrong later on?

Or could it be this simple: We misjudge behaviors when we
don't realize they incorporate values and beliefs that are
different from our own?

And that’s precisely what’s at the heart of most
intercultural miscommunications. You see, the best way to reduce
any “madness to their method” is to understand that there's a
method to their madness.

4. CONTEXT IS
EVERYTHING

There’s an old Finnish joke
about an American who flies to Helsinki to meet with his
customer. After a long day of meetings, the American and the
Finnish customer decide to go out for drinks. After about 20
minutes of drinking vodka in complete silence the American
finally speaks up and says, “So Jukka, Cheers!” At which point,
Jukka argues, “Wait a moment. Did we come here to talk, or did we
come here to drink?”

Now take a look at the Finnish
diagram versus the American diagram, and you’ll see some
remarkable differences. The Finns are very succinct (e.g., small
diagram height) during all phases of the discussion, and get even
more succinct when summarizing at the end of the discussion. On
the other hand, Americans are not only more verbose throughout
the discussion than the Finns, but will increase their use of
words to stress a point, or as a response to stress. And although
Americans by their own standards finish the discussion more
succinctly than any other time during the discussion, it’s still
considerably more verbose than the Finns ever communicate.

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So the next time you overhear
someone say that all Germans are rude, the British are
wishy-washy, or that you can’t trust anyone from
[insert nationality of
your choice here],
consider what George Carlin once said,

“Have you ever noticed that
anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going
faster than you is a maniac?”

George’s observation makes us
chuckle because in some odd way, we relate to what he’s saying.
Who hasn’t been convinced at one time that they were right and
everyone else –faster or slower – was wrong?

Look at it this way:

The Germans
think Italians are rude because they waste everyone’s time with
too much talking.

Italians
think the Japanese are rude because the Japanese won’t make an
effort to explain their position.

The Japanese
think Americans are rude because Americans will say anything to
anyone, in front of everyone.

Americans
think Germans are rude because the Germans are always too
blunt.

…And around and around it
goes.

When it comes to communicating
with people from other cultures that have very different beliefs,
priorities and behaviors, it’s best to not think in terms of
right and wrong but to think in terms of how it’s
different.