1. Play with your partner on a regular basis. Use different toys to find out what pleases your partner the most.

2. Celebrate your partner. Invite other couples over for play dates.

3. Learn your partner’s likes and dislikes. Cater to your partner’s palate, but always feed your partner at the same time every day.

4. The relationship killer for most couples is poor communication. Talk to your partner for hours. Do not lose your patience if your partner does not choose to respond.

5. Remember your partner will always outrun you. Never chase your partner. Your partner will only become colder toward you if you try to force its affection.

6. Let your partner sit on your lap while you read or watch TV. The couch is a perfect platform for affectionate behavior.

7. Never try to shower with your partner. Your partner hates water.

8. If your partner brings you a present you hate, viz. a dead animal, do not reject your partner’s gift.

9. If you have a yard, let your partner roam around outside while you clean the house. This creates personal space for both of you, and the distance will make your partner crave affection.

10. If nothing else works, try scoring some Nepeta Cataria for your partner. Your partner will instantly desire affection and will really appreciate your scoring the catnip. You can also grow it legally in most states.