5. Sharon Stone

6. Cameron Diaz

Photographer: “Cameron, I want you to spread eagle on top of this stool …but with your knees bent so we can keep it PG-13. But don’t look like you think you look sexy right now, I want your face to look completely blasé. Magnificent!”

16. David Duchovny

Photographer: “Hi, David? I’m the photographer here for the Architectural Digest shoot — is this a bad time? Do you mind getting down from that spherical ball? Okay, um, we can reschedule, you have my card. By the way, GREAT pants.”

22. Uma Thurman

23. Sandra Bullock

Photographer: “You’re a topless hippie! Oh, I’m sorry about the jeans. All we could find were this pair of JNCO jeans so we tried to make them look a little more dated. It’s fine, nobody’s gonna look anywhere other than your chest, I promise.”

28. Jake Gyllenhaal

29. Madonna

Photographer: “If you insist on demonstrating your new hobbies, Madge, must it be the one where you swallow and regurgitate your pet goldfish Timmy? All right, then let’s at least have you pose out by the pool…”

33. Kirsten Dunst

34. Fiona Apple

Photographer: “You’re in the middle of the jungle and you’re terrified. TERRIFIED! You’ll also have perfectly-manicured black fingernails that are nearly two inches long, but it’s for the sake of fashion, so it’ll work.”