When Blown Off Course, Apply the 4 A’s

You’ve been doing well and then something threw a monkey wrench into your formula for success. Make no mistake–setbacks suck. You’re right back where you started. Actually it’s worse. Because you’ve set off that part of your mind that whispers, “See, you can’t do this. Just give up. Give in. It’s not worth even trying.” This is a truly dangerous moment. Because if we listen to this voice, not only do we not change this time, but we decrease the possibility of ever changing because we lose faith in ourselves.

That’s why, when circumstances throw us off course as they inevitably will, it’s time for the 4 A’s:

To my mind, the most important A’s are the last two. Admiring ourselves helps us stay positive and avoid a spiral into negative self-esteem, as in “Oh see, I’m not capable of doing this right. This mess-up proves it.” It turns a mishap into an esteem boost when we remind ourselves that it takes great courage and persistence to not give up.

Acting quickly is also crucial. Otherwise, we’ll lose the energy of our commitment and slide back into our bad, old behaviors. That’s where assessment and adjustment come in. What’s non-negotiable is that you’re doing your thing. How and when you’re going to do it–that’s what’s open to all kinds of rearrangements.

Remember, even Oprah has had to pick herself up and start again on her fitness program many times, in front of millions, no less. So when blown off course, get the 4 A’s in gear. It doesn’t matter how many times you begin again. It only matters that you begin again.

Become an expert at starting over–you’ll not only make your dream come true, but increase your self-esteem, self-respect, and self-confidence.

To Try: Have you blown it yet? Put the 4A’s in place: assess, adjust, admire yourself and act quickly.

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7 comments

It DOES matter how many times you begin again!
There is a counter in our heads which every time reminds us: "Ha-ha! You have to start everything again!" Don't you think that the most people will give up?

I used to work for the AFTRA-SAG credit union, and often had to take the elevator up to AFTRA, on the top floor. Being in the office was jolting. It was designed by the guy who designed the Batman set: solid walls of flat green, red, black, and yellow, among others. The result was absolute confusion, almost desperation. A nude photo of Burt Lancanster hung on the red wall. No surprise. I wear black or dark blue most of the time, and I think of black as a mark of sophistication, not one of my qualities. I have been drawn to navy blue since ever I can recall. I think that color theory does not take in all the attributes of people who are, for some reason, drawn to a particular color.