Today in Bro: Ryan Lochte Swims a River to Deliver the Ultimate Bro Snack

King of the Bros Ryan Lochte refuses to allow a hungry bro to go snack-less in this cold, cruel world. Not on his watch. In an effort to bring highly processed, vaguely pizza-flavored food to the masses, the Olympic swimmer and "jeah-bro" magnate swam 100 yards across the Hudson River in New York City to deliver that sweet, sweet am-BRO-sia: Pizza Combos.

The stunt was actually for a Pizza Combos commercial (as well as, presumably, a PSA on water-contracted hep-B) and was billed as "the world's most epic pizza delivery." Lochte told USA Today, "It was a unique opportunity, so I had to take it." Man speaks the truth. Swimming across a contaminated waterway in service to America's obesity epidemic is definitely unique.