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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Oddly I've noticed that when I make short rants they on average tend to be more popular than my lengthier somewhat detailed posts. So as a follow up to my post 'Talking to Canadians" and in honor of all the short post lovers out there I've decided to spontaneously create a new sub-series 'talking about Canadians'. As an added twist I've decided to run it through Gizoogle as well so that you can feel the authenticity as though the official spokesperson of 'Murica: Hollywood, is talking about Canadians.

Yo, bustin lyrics ta hustlas up in Lethbridge, Redford holla'd she understandz there is opposizzle ta a wild cow capture yo, but noted smart-ass muthafuckas up in Alberta Environment & Sustainable Resource Development (ESRD) have made similar decisions up in tha past.

"These is feral muthafuckas. They is impactin productivitizzle on tha land, they is impactin livestock, they is impactin fencin n' dat sort of thang," Redford holla'd.

"I KNOW dat playas do have concerns n' can git like wack bout dis yo, but all up in tha end of tha day, tha decisions ... gotta be made up in tha context of tha dopest possible use of our resources."

Da Tory posse has faced tha wrath of conservationists upset wit tha decision dis year ta round up a shitload of tha province's wild cow population, a action they view as a unnecessary cull of a heritage animal.

Last month, Alberta Environment issued a licence ta allow fo' tha capture by tha end of March of up ta 196 wild horses along tha foothills, from Kananaskis Ghetto ta Sundre.

Da licence holda can trap tha horses fo' underground use or bust dem ta slaughter n' shit. It's tha last time a license has been issued since 2011.

"If you have dat feral cow population dat is growin 20 ta 30 per cent every last muthafuckin year, dat do put some heat on tha land fo' chicken sources yo, but it also puts heat on dem natizzle plants," Booth holla'd.

"What tha premier holla'd is without basis. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Show me tha study," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd up in a rap battle.

"Do we need a cold-ass lil cull, biatch? Well, if we need one let's make shizzle we're bustin it right. What (the department) is bustin is guessing."

Yep, only in Alberta are animals that have grazed the land for centuries now "damaging it" while the oilsands are apparently having "no impact". Of course by land she means economic productivity, but you know: whatevs.

And that's been "talking about Canadians".

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Richard Fantin is a self-taught software developer who has mostly throughout his career focused on financial applications and high frequency trading. He currently works for eQube gaming systems.

Nazayh Zanidean is a Project Coordinator for a mid-sized construction contractor in Calgary, Alberta. He enjoys writing as a hobby on topics that include foreign policy, international human rights, security and systemic media bias.