A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Friday, January 13, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-13-06 ("SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!")

Please FORGIVE me, DUmmies! I have underestimated you. I thought that the impending Senate confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court would be merely a big disappointment to you. Little did I realize that his appointment would drive you COMPLETELY over the edge as can be seen in these two DUmmie Threads, SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!and Filibuster, Goddammit!! It is time to have some cojones! I guess even the DUmmies now realize that the Senate Blowhard Democrats have run out of steam as the Alito confirmation is firmly on the track to the SCOTUS station. Of course, DUmmie rage will rise to even higher levels when they find out that there will be NO filibuster. So thanx to all you DUmmies out there for providing us Supreme comedic entertainment in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating even MORE DUmmie explosions when they find out that Bush gets to pick a couple more Justices down the road, is in the [brackets]:

SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!

[As long as you promise not to SHUT UP! Mental Meltdown threads like this are the BEST and are extremely helpful in my bid for the DUmmie FUnnies to be nominated in the Bloggies Awards.]

No more f*cking around with the Repukes. They are capitulating in the fascist transformation of this country. It's time to do what the Repukes did in 95.

[You're going to slow down the increase of government spending and institute programs that achieve economic progress?]

The Repukes are in dereliction of their duty and it's time to take the ball out of their hands.... literally.

[Or illiterally.]

Shut it down. Shut it all DOWN!!

[We regret to inform you that your Porta-Potty has been SHUT DOWN!]

FILIBUSTER FILIBUSTER! FILIBUSTER!

[And when that does NOT happen you will go CRAZY CRAZY! CRAZY!]

DAMN STRAIGHT!! Alito is that line in the sand. Alito is the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Alito is the straw that broke the DUmmies' back.]

I totally agree. It's time to draw the line in the sand!!

[CONNECT THE DOTS!!!]

capitulating in the fascist transformation?????It is right dead in our faces and has been for some time now. We are in the grip! Personally, I don't think that they even care that we know...not anymore.

[Naw! You knowing that you are in the grip of the fascist transformation is just fine with us as long as you continue to provide this incredible comedy material.]

Shutting it all down is the only way to stop these fascistsThe way some posters there think that there is a logical or rational solution to stopping nominees or ending the war or convicting Bushco of war crimes, like there is a functioning system in place to do this. That if we just filed the right lawsuit in the right place it would solve all of our problems.

[Perhaps you could sue Bush and Alito for causing you extreme mental distress.]

But we know better - and we know that being careful isn't going to get us anywhere. Most people are much more comfortable sitting at home writing letters to their reps or the newspaper, signing online petitions and voting in MSNBC polls, and believing that it will affect change.

[But wasn't that what DUAC was all about? DUAC! DUAC!]

As for tactics, the only thing I think would work is mass protests/strikes. I don't mean 300,000 in DC on a Saturday afternoon (although I personally have a BLAST at those events!). I mean whole cities refusing to work, whole industries shutting down.

[Not One Damn Dime Day!]

Shut it down. Shut it all DOWN!!

[The oxygen supply to your brain cells?]

Maybe it's time to finally enact Project X!

[I prefer to enact Project X-Rated with Mary Carey.]

Exactly right!All participants are switching to channel XXXXXXXXXXX at midnight. Jan XX and will receive encrypted detailed plans for the Project's initiation. Forward!

[Oh Goody! I finally get to watch an XXXXXXXXXXXX Rated channel on cable!]

While we wait for history to judge them...They are working to control the history books.

[We own ALL your history books.]

We can get a much better nominee out of Bush if we reject this little fascist Alito.

[Harriet Miers?]

STOP THE WHOLE GOVT IF YOU HAVE TOplease for the love of everything decent stop this nazi!

[THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A SPEEDING TRUCK...or Kampfwagen.]

Shut it DOWN! Stop the MADNESS!

[Judging from the DUmmie posts, the latter will be very difficult to achieve.]

Turn Out the F*cking Lights and go Home !!!!!!

[REFUSE TO REMOVE LINT FROM YOUR NAVEL!!!]

NO MORE FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT!IT'S TIME TO THROW IT ALL OUT THE WINDOW! IT'S TIME TO AD LIB!!!

[IT'S AD LIB COMEDY TIME!!!]

Personally-- If ALito is confirmned-- I dont think we get another chance. NOt in '06. I think we are talking suspension of the Constitution, purges, prison camps for acitivists disruptors, more dissappearances.

[Blame DUmmie AtomicKitten for this. These are all planned retaliations in response to her defacement of a Diebold truck.]

Roberts was bad...This is the apocalypse. IT'S F*CKING TIME.

[New nickname: Apocalyptic Alito.]

It's NOW Or Never. It is high time for the OPPOSITION PARTY to start acting like it. SHUT THE BITCH DOWN!

So filibuster, goddammit. Filibuster against Mr. 38%'s nominee, filibuster because Alito does not respect the rights of women, blacks, Hispanics, and he thinks we should have a King. Filibuster because the bastard lied to the Senate before and lied now. These are EASY concepts for Americans to understand. Filibuster and show the rest of the country that the Dems have a fighting spirit. And if we are wrong, and the public punishes us in November, which I really, really don't think is going to happen, well, we are losing now anyway. At least we will go down fighting. Let the republicans go nuclear - the public distrusts them they will distrust abuse of power even more. Push them into it - let them implode.

[Speaking of imploding...]

I don't think the republicans and the mediarealize how angry we are. How fed up we are. How much they have awakened our will to fight. We MUST filibuster.

[Cheer up! The DUmmie FUnnies readers know how angry and FUnnie you are.]

We must draw the line now. Alito is a mealy mouthed imperialistwhose meanness toward the disabled is galling as is his treatment of women, minorities, children and aliens seeking asylum. He refused to strongly support ANY of our basic rights and would subvert the constitution. If the Democrats do not filibuster, they will lose what little respect they have.Right now, the Congress has a very low approval rating; both Republicans and Democrats are in the thirties. People want real leadership. If the Democrats can't fight this one, then they will loose big time and will deserve it.

[Yup! Democrats are "loosers."]

NOW IS THE TIME!! If not know, WHEN???

[The Day After Tomorrow when Global Warming kicks in.]

Shut the hole thing down!!!Seriously, if we can't fight for something...let's not let them accomplish anything. Shut it down. No news is better than any news the Repugs will offer. Stonewall, cut the power, whatever it takes. I'm seeing red right now! Good God, can we not do anything to stop the madness?

[Shut it down! Hold your breath! Barf! Belch! Self-strangle! Constipate! Jump up and down! Run in place! STOP THE MADNESS!!!]

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About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.