Next Dead Space To Just Be A Long Dark Corridor

Disclaimer: This is a satire piece. It’s not real, but instead imagine we lived in a world where it was.

Dead Space 3 has come under scrutiny from the gaming community in recent times because of its more action-orientated gameplay. Visceral Games have reported to be very upset with these remarks so they have taken it upon themselves to improve their game to the community’s taste. What they have found through targeted research is that gamers wanted more horror and creepy atmospheres for the next game in the series. Visceral have since released an early concept of the next game and urge the community to provide feedback.

Following the criticisms that the new Dead Space titles don’t feature enough horror elements, we have come up with a new, groundbreaking version of Dead Space called Dead Space: Dark Walker (name not official) and the main idea is this: Isaac has to traverse a gigantic hallway with flickering lights and blood covered walls. This idea may sound simple, but the horror possibilities are almost endless. Isaac has no suit on and only wears a pair of boxers with the words “want to see my Plasma Cutter?” written in Comic Sans across the crotch region. The feeling of nakedness is meant to convey vulnerability and helplessness as well as the fear of having your penis sliced in half.

Isaac has no weapons just to strengthen the feeling of vulnerability and can only use presets shouts such as “Oh shit!” and “Mother of ovaries!”. The corridor itself only has a few flickering lights and the walls are entirely covered in blood and have trace amounts of urine and semen. The semen is also a big mystery that has to be solved later in the game. As Isaac walks there will be doors that randomly open and reveal horrible monstrosities with legs for heads and flying butt birds that fart instead of squawk. These monsters don’t really do anything of significance other than stand there and scream obscenities at Isaac trying to get him to give up and die. Some of the more bigger monsters will be able to injure Isaac, but those injuries are internal such as hallucinations and violent diarrhea.

There will be no soundtrack, but in its place are people constantly screaming and feint sounds of children boiling in hot oil. It’s incredibly atmospheric and it’s guaranteed to make you feel uneasy and horrified at all times. The game has an average play time of over 30 hours of solid walking and that’s not even counting the times when Isaac breaks down and cries if a monster so much as mentions his ex-girlfriend. There will be no shooting of any sort within the game and it’s purely designed to scare you as much as possible. There’s a special surprise at the end of corridor if you manage to complete the entire game without committing suicide with a butter knife.

Visceral have pledged to not make the same mistakes with their next installment and aim to provide a pure horror experience instead of shooting and dismembering. Watch out for this one. It might blow your mind.

Also that weird moment if you have to miss rAge cause your brothers girlfriend is giving birth on that day :P

AG_Sonday

Wait, sorry what?

Trebzz

Maar-Koo over there is gonna be a uncle since his brother who just recently became a millionaire decided to stop wearing condoms and and made his girlfriend pregnant lol, that girl trapped him good and solid and pretty sure when the child arrives they going to kick him out. But please let me stop its not nice to laugh at something so wonderful as bringing a new life into this great world :P