Bookies Taking Action on Inevitable Romney Debate Gaffes

From the Fishington Cheesington Post:

Reacting to the news that Mitt Romney will be delivering “zingers” to the president during tonight’s debate, the nation’s bookmakers are taking odds on the probability that the notoriously mistake prone GOP presidential hopeful will accidentally use an unintended slur during the proceedings.

“Right now we’re giving 3-1 odds that he’ll say ‘Negro’ at some point during the debate,” predicts Jimmy “The Snake” DiTullio, oddsmaker at the Palms Casino Resort. “We figure that Romney’s never been that close to a black person before, so he’s bound to get all uncomfortable and say whatever comes to mind.”

10. Even his supporters admit he is bad at joking

14. "The yellow cake they found in Niger..."

Is the yellow cake made by my Kenyan running mates grandmother that baked it into his birth certificate, and sold it to Iran for authenticity. That is the only reason he is able to run for President - his birth certificate is in the hands of Iranian terrorists and African cake bakers.

They are repeatedly blackmailing him to suppress release of his association with that cake, his grandmother and his mother. My opponent would have otherwise suppressed that he ever had an association with a mother, specifically his own. My opponent states that he has a father, but we see no evidence that he did, in fact, have a mother or a father. He may have been budded.