Feel Sexually Empowered with Sex Therapy

Reignite Passion, Explore Fantasies, and Connect with Sex Therapy.

Why does the passion fade?

“Sex is great before you get married. Once you do, it’s not the same.”

“We’ve been together for so long, our marriage feels more like a friendship than a passionate partnership.”

Whether work, kids, time or simply life has gotten in the way, it is completely normal to find yourself disconnected from your partner(s). You may even find yourselves incredibly connect, but not quite aligned in the bedroom, or wanting to explore new areas. In sex therapy, everything is normal.

If you are wanting to try something new, or have a safe place to explore your own desire, sex and intimacy counseling or coaching are ways to help you on your sexual journey. A sex therapist or sex coach can help you explore new areas and fantasies, as well as help you understand what your own needs are, while teaching you to learn how to meet the needs of your partner!

Here’s an important secret: You can have a hot, passionate relationship with your partner in a long-term marriage.

Not only is it absolutely possible, it can get even better over time, as you learn to know each other more intimately and feel safe to explore the different sides of your sexuality. Imagine how that would feel!

Want to rekindle your relationship? Here’s a little help you get started!

Talk about sex!
Many people think that talking about sex takes the mystery out of it. Some just feel uncomfortable with it—and our culture certainly isn’t very good at supporting healthy sexual awareness. But talking openly and honestly about your sexual fantasies, needs, and desires with a receptive partner will boost passion while deepening intimacy.

Check the pulse of your relationship.Unresolved issues between partners can tank sexual desire and lead to boredom, resentment, affairs, or breakup. Regular communication lets you address problems together and build the safety you need to enjoy sex. Be sure to tie up loose ends that could be affecting your ability to get close.

Learn to bring romance into your life every day.
This is especially important for men! Great sex starts long before the foreplay. Take steps to let your partner know you’re there for them, that they’re desired and important to you. This will boost your sense of connectedness and bolster the creativity that drives passion.

Make sure you both initiate sex.
If one partner tends to be the initiator, they may start to feel bored by the role—or insecure if they’re continually turned down. So mix it up a little! This is very important for women, since many times it’s the man who has a higher sex drive. But it works both ways. This doesn’t need to be a tit-for-tat proposition, but it’s critical for bringing balance and spontaneity into your sex life.

It’s true…

Many long-term couples experience a decline in their sexuality after a while, or feel that it’s just not exciting as it used to be. Others struggle to negotiate different levels of desire, where one partner is more interested than the other. The sensitivities many of us have around sex can even become the focus of our fights. It’s easy to feel discouraged and fall into a rut.

Start exploring with your partner. Ask them to gently (or with pressure!) touch an area on your body – your forearm, your calf, your lips. Continue asking them to touch different areas with different pressures to start learning where your feel good spots are. Let go of the ideas you have and allow the exploration to be vulnerable and authentic!

Learn How to Please Each Other

If you and your partner prefer the attention and richness of private sessions, one-on-one couples therapy is a great fit. You will be able to receive help that is tailored to your relationship and its specific needs.

Working with a couples therapist can bring your relationship to a new level of intimacy and depth. We also offer sliding-scale psychotherapy to those with financial need. Common things covered:

In sex therapy, there is no “normal,” but some common topics couples discuss are:

Connecting sexually with your mind and body

Feeling more confident and sensual

How to recognize initiations from your partner and others

Understanding social, religious or other factors that have inhibited your sexual desire

Real Change is Possible!

While these tips are a great start, every couple is different—and talking about sex in couples therapy can help you improve your intimate connection right away. Our sex therapists and sex coaches in San Francisco and Berkeley will start by understanding your goals and aspirations, and then help you identify what you can do as a couple to have a fulfilling, incredibly sexy relationship.