And they are not the ever lovely Watertiger kind of kitties either. Nope, these kittehs are big, bad, lean, mean and will Fuck. You. Up.

Detroit Motor City is happenin baybee; seriously happening, and here is hoping there is no Detroit Breakdown.

First on the catwalk are the Tigers. Los Tigres dispatched the evil empire of the NY Yankees. Fittingly, the game, and series, ended with a strikeout by Mighty Casey LeBron Rodriquez, aka “Mr. April”. Congratulations pinstripe pushers, you have 6, count em six, more years of this joy at the low, low price of only $27 million a year. Worry not though, while he has already been through Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz, you still have the ARoid and Gwyneth Paltrow hookup to look forward to. So you got that going for you, along with you new number one starter, AJ Burnett, after CC Sabathia bails. Red Sawx cognoscenti feast. As to everybody else, ponder whether there is enough Justin Verlander to slow down Josh Hamilton, Michael Young and the Rangers. Say what you will, these are, at this point, the two best teams in the American League.

In the Senior Circuit, my local kids, and they are kids since they are the youngest team in MLB, came up just a bit short tonight against the BrewCrew. Awesome game five, and awesome series. Both teams just had so much personality and good vibe, it was hard to root against either one. But someone had to win, and in extra innings in the win or go home game, Milwaukee did. And Albert Pujols and the Cards shocked the mighty Phillies, in Philly, to make the unlikely advance to the NLCS. This is almost certainly not the NLCS matchup FoxTV hoped for. Too bad, both teams earned it, suck on that Fox.

In the college gridiron type of sporting activity, a couple of has beens like Texas and Oklahoma are playing. If only they both could lose. Then the better and more appealing team, the Boise State Broncos, could move ahead to the rank they deserve in the standings. Especially after dropping 57 points on conference rival Fresno State Friday night. The most exciting team in the country as far as supposed first tier conferences go, the sharp toothed Wisconsin Badgers, have a bye week.

Next on the beautific catwalk are the Deetroit Lions. These too are some slinky cats.

The Chicago Poo Bears are going to mosey into the Lion’s Den at Ford Field, where the Kitties hope to say “Suh you later”. So far, so good, Matt Stafford is still healthy and leading the Lion offense. Stafford’s resume is spotty because of injury, but when healthy, he has clearly demonstrated he is a top-flite quarterback. Javed Best is a nice back, but the Lions might want to invest in another back at some point to insure the future that seems so bright. As good as the Lions’ defense has been so far this season, they have been playing without what many considered the best athlete in the draft, Nick Fairly out of Auburn. Dude has the potential to be another Suh. If he is even close, it is hard to imagine what it will mean to Detroit, and he may make his season debut against Da Bears.

I understand there may be other games of both the student and professional athlete variety, but if they ain’t from Detroit, you will have to supply your own analysis in comments. Because this is Motor City Madness Weekend!

Well, okay, maybe we will get to non-motorcity talk because, if nothing else, there is some shit going down in Suzuka. And if you know squat about F1, you know there is usually wet, and corresponding wild, in Suzuka. That’s just the way it is. Vettel was off pace in practice, but was fast and took pole in qualifying, with Jenson Button of McLaren in P2. Lewis Hamilton hung on for P3 followed by Mass and Alonso in the Ferraris. True to form, qualifying was off schedule due to rain. We will see yet what the conditions are for the actual race, but I have always found the wet to be a good thing at Suzuka as it seems a bit pedestrian of a track without it. The race goes off at 2:00am EST and 11:00pm PST and is being carried in the US by Speed TV. If Vettel finishes anywhere in the points, even with the minimal single point, he clinches the Drivers’ Championship, and that is a pretty safe bet to occur.

As you may have noticed, this is a VERY heavy music Trash post. But, if there is one thing Detroit is known for other than American steel on wheels, it is music. I didn’t roll with the common Motown motif, and I did not fall back on old friends that used to be from Detroit, but now are here in the desert. If you are a music nerd, check out the enantiomer MC5 version of Motor City Is Burning. Not sure exactly what the deal is, but it is clearly, whether intentionally or unintentionally, a reverse print if you look at all the right handed people flipped opposite. Weird. Probably not many people remember the MC5, but they were one of the early foundations of straight up hard rock, and they were dead nuts killer.

“I think there’s a certain shelf life in these jobs,” Henry said. “You can only be the manager, the general manager, if you’re sane, for a certain amount of time. It’s a pressure cooker here. It’s a long season. It’s 365 days. Theo is not going to be the general manager forever

@Bay State Librul: Yeah, that would make baseball, like football thus far, the revenge of the Rust Belt year.

Some news that bmaz missed. The Wolvereenies will, for the first time this season, leave the Big House. They definitely CAN beat Northwestern. But they won’t do it looking as nice as they have been.

In the pro leagues, I’m hoping this is the week the Haynesworth gamble pays off. He doesn’t even have to be fit, seeing as how Mangold will be slow at best. Though Rex has to be kidding if he believes a team w/a defense as porous as NE’s can be called a champ.

I think the Titans (who of course beat the Ravens) may well beat the Stillers (who got embarrassed by the Ravens).

Sounds like the little dork who went to Brown or something and gets no respect from the players because he never put on the uniform but still tries to tell them to get their OPS up, is not long for his job.

Good. Theo’s very deserving of joining hte unemployment line.

It’s A-Dog, BTW. That’s the name he hung on himself after losing another playoff series (04 or 05 – I forget which) for the Yankees, when he said “I played like a dog out there”. Funny, I thought he was hanging with Christie Brinkley (gawd, she’s unrecognizable under all that work) now. And this, from 2006.

@emptywheel: I saw a t-shirt the other day, all UMich blue and gold, with the logo “My stadium is bigger than your stadium”

I think that fairly synopsizes their accurate self-appraisal – inadequate and compensating.

In other news, Big Ben is still wearing a boot, so I would not be surprised if Batch takes some game-time snaps. Not surprised in the least. If I were Tomlin, I wouldn’t put a valuable though hurt and vulnerable top-line QB out behind that O-line, at least until they got their shit together. I’d throw a backup to the wolves until the first-stringer recovered.

I know I’m a broken record, but the final events in WRC are now looking to be very exciting. Sebastien Loeb had a huge lead and was all-but-locked on an eighth championship in a row, but has had two terrible events, while Mikko Hirvonon has been on fire. They are now tied with just Spain and Wales left.

Uh, youse all are violating the all Deetroit, all the time spirit of this post! Guess I should have included the Bo Merlots in the post, that is a fair point. But when Michigan football discussion has devolved to one of whether they can survive a epic road battle with……wait for it……the Northwestern Fighting Journalists, well just dunno.

@scribe:
Theo is an Eli, I believe
Mr. Epstein, has packed his bag for for Chicago, where he’ll be minding his own business, anointed President, General Manager and Sabermetric Savior of Wrigley chewing gum….

I’m happily camping out in a motel room in Tampa while the rest of the family is at a horse show. I won’t get away with this “surgery recovery” gig much longer, but it makes for great uninterrupted football days.

I guess I’ll sort of pull for the Whorens today since the land thieves are ranked higher.

Today’s Gator game will reveal much about the team and its new coaching staff. Going in to #1 LSU without their QB (it finally came out that Brantley has a high ankle sprain that won’t require surgery) and with multiple weaknesses (especially run blocking on offense and run stopping on defense) exposed by Bama last week, it will be interesting to see if they can suck it up and play well enough to at least not embarrass themselves this week. I’m hoping that the run-stopping issue was just that Trent Richardson is such a beast–he sometimes carried three and four Gators five yards or more before going down–so we will see. I’m also hoping Weis will realize that if he wants to run inside, he needs to have either Burton or Gillislee in the backfield because Rainey and Demps are just to freaking small to run inside against a line so big.

I saw on Twitter a few minutes ago that Brisset could get the nod at QB over Driskel. I’m hoping for that, as I’d hate for Driskel to get hurt and the O-line is showing weaknesses. I hadn’t realized until this week that Driskel passed up a sure-fire first round MLB draft opportunity (and therefore, up to $2 million) to come to UF. I hope Muschamp and O’Sullivan have worked out a two-sport deal for him, because it appears Driskel is a kick-ass center fielder and has had a dinger verified at 470 feet. Center field is the only position that needed improvement over last year’s CWS runner-up team that sees the entire defense and much of its best pitching returning.

@bmaz: Rats. Looks like one of my dogs thinks she’s a honeybadger. The pet sitter just took her to the vet for treatment on a presumed rattlesnake bite. The vet thinks it was low envenomation (even though her face and neck are swollen to 2-3 times normal size), so she should pull through with just antibiotics and pain meds.

As for Davis, yes, he has indeed been important. I’ve just never been big on folks who relish their disdain for the rules. I’d say Davis was the Dick Cheney of the NFL.

Al Davis, whose iron-fisted reign over the Raiders for practically their entire existence led to three Super Bowl titles and made the silver-and-black franchise a symbol of renegade toughness, died Saturday. He was 82.

I’m pulling for a Tigers-Brewers World Series. Great Lakes. Great Times.

My Wolverines should win this game, but I agree with emptywheel that they’re too highly ranked right now. Key for the Wolverines, IMHO, will be to see if Al Borges tries again to put Robinson under center or if he’s going to throw that out the window like he did against Minnesota. NU will likely bring the pressure to contain Robinson, which means good opportunities for U-M to run some counters and other misdirection plays.

Here’s another thing I’ve been thinking about the Jets-Pats this year.

Ochocinco clearly is not gonna interest Revis Island.

But I’ve been wondering if one reason BillBel has been focusing on TEs, rather than WRs, is to get out of the Revis matchup. So 85 (or Welker) serves to distract Revis while the TEs keep scoring underneath.

Whoda thunk the most interesting early game I can tune in is Floriduh State at Wake Forest. Wake was up 16-7 but gave up a TD just before the half to cut the lead to two. The land thieves are humiliating the Whorens and South Carolina is opening up a can on Kentucky. Oh well, just over an hour until the Gators…

@bmaz: She’s at the pet sitter’s house. She needs to be watched closely for internal bleeding; platelets are dangerously low. Haven’t heard anything more for several hours. so I’m assuming she’s holding her own for now.

@Jim White:
My mother never forgave him for kicking out Wayne Valli, the original team owner.
I never forgave him for his shenanigans with various cities in SoCal. But the gravel pit in Irwindale they were floating as a stadium site is big enough to bury his ego in.

Vegas has the Pats by nine?
Not a bad teaser with Rex on the sidelines.

“What passed for coaching eccentricity before the guy I like to call Cousin Rex came along? Bob Ryan says. “We had Jerry Glanville supposedly leaving game tickets for Elvis and always dressing in black. And there was, um, um . . . you tell me.”

Ryan goes on “Yet this is the week Cousin Rex breaks out the Southwestern Oklahoma State blazer with the improvised Hall of Fame patch and goes into a riff about comparing his playing career with Coach Bill’s at Wesleyan. There is no other coach or manager in professional sports who would inject such levity into the dialogue prior to such an important game. It’s a nice little reminder that, whoever wins this game, it’s not a matter of national security.”

Someone at LG&M said that the announcers and their masters fear a Detroit-Milwaukee WS. I don’t see why. Milwaukee is this year’s San Francisco in terms of the number of characters on the team that the broader public would like to get to know–and Ryan Braun is clearly an awesome player. Milwaukee is also reliably blue FWIW.

Reporting from Paris, let me say that no one gives a rat’s ass about US football, including Americans. I went to an English Pub, hoisted a pint of 1664, and watched the end of the Eagles-Bills and the start of New England vs. the Jets. No one else was watching. They also weren’t watching Cardinals/Brewers.

They don’t show nearly as many commercials here, so there was a lot of in-game analysis from a three person group, with additional replays and views. The sound was off.

The games were on B Sky B, which must have some deal with the NFL, and the few commercials I saw were for snack foods. No beer.

@4jkb4ia: Sorry 4jkb4ia, in my earlier excitement, I missed your comment. Looks like you and I are on opposing sides for the NLCS, nonetheless, good luck! And Go Brewers! ; )

bmaz, great post, although my interests lie mostly to the west of D.E.T.R.O.I.T. DETROIT DETROIT DETROIT (huh, that doesn’t have quite the same ring as it does with the JETS ; ) I am still cheering for the kittehs, both the stickball and pigskin varieties…

And speaking of the Jets, I must confess I expected a bigger blowout in Gillette, but it looks like the Pats are well on top in the 4th.

@bmaz: I didn’t say I LIKED Miller or Bud, just that I preferred Miller over Bud ; )

My brother used to work in Milwaukee and his commute would take him past the Miller brewery and the Ambrosia chocolate factory. It smelled like bread and chocolate. He would be salivating the rest of the way home ; )

As for your personal savior Tebow — shouldn’t a guy be leading a team with something better than a 1-4 record before devoting an entire Trash to him? I mean the Lions are 4-0. The Tigers won the ALDS. One would get the idea that some degree of accomplishment is required. Just sayin’ ; )

Ugh. Well, the second I moved this post back up for tonight, the Tigers conked out in the top of the 9th with the bases loaded. Was sure I had jinxed em. Which would have been bad, cause I was already on the hook for the Lions since Marcy told me if I jinxed them, I could not turn Emptywheel into an all Tebow, all the time blog for the next Donkos game.

It appears this is going to be an edgy night for me. Tiger Kitties now in the bottom of the11th in Texas; Lion Kitties less than an hour away!

Lions D is dealing a beatdown on Cutler and Da Bears, assisted by their loudmouthed fans. Every one of those penalties had a hit or two levied – the one facemask on Cutler was brutal. A big exponent of gangtackling, Parcells would approve.

And now, Stafford 56 yards in the air right into Megatron’s breadbasket for the score. A thing of beauty.

I think I’ll go to that guy in the parking lot, tailgating and serving up bear bacon. As in bear meat, cured into bacon.

@Jim White: Ah, but there is MORE baseball… And after giving their opponents a nice early lead (frankly a bit more deja vu of last night’s Packer game than I would like), the Brew Crew just got 2 runs off Weeks’ homer : )

Listen here now Wheel lugnuts, I am not gonna be solely responsible if this Cutler mope rescues Da Bears from ignominy. You KNOW you want an all Baby Jesus post in two weeks when the Tebows come off their bye week! Come help the cause!

@bmaz: That’s a tough one bmaz… On the one hand, I picked Detroit in my pool. On the other, having Da Bears beat the Lions would help the Pack in the NFC North. I’m planning on remaining neutral on the gridiron outcome, while I watch the Cards crush the Brewers (currently 11-2, top of the 7th) in Miller Park. Sigh.

I lied earlier, there is not enough deja vu in this baseball game, rather than too much. It’s all giving your opponents a lead with no comeback. Sigh.

To be fair, I think the call relative to Cutler was fair. He was making plays in improbable situations, i.e., that he was completing passes when he shouldn’t have been and doing so under a lot of pressure. I also think Chucky and Jaws were doing Cutler a favor, b/c he’s been getting hosed over being not “Tough” – he had to be to stand in the pocket tonight.

Good news. I just got back from the vet’s office and the dog is now officially out of danger. The vet was expecting some tissue loss from necrosis but that area is clearing up now and looks like it will go back to normal. We were really lucky here…