SCHEDULE ADVISORY – Please read

Jacek and I are moving to Toronto. Today is our last day as Vancouver residents so we have a few things to get to and a lot of people to hug. This is why we’re tapping out early today.

We are driving to Toronto instead of flying. Because of our dogs. We refuse to put them on a plane. Before you roll your eyes, click here. That’s why. It’s a pain in the ass, and it will take a lot longer, but there’s no other option for us.

The drive from Vancouver to Toronto is supposed to be somewhere around 45 hours if we hit it non-stop. This is our plan. We will alternate behind the wheel, one sleeps, the other drives. We are hoping not to have to stay overnight in a hotel. We are hoping to make it straight through so that I will be able to resume blogging on Monday.

But safety first. We may have to take a break from it. And if that’s the case, there will be no column on Monday. I am very, very, very sorry, in advance, if this has to happen. Please know that we will do our best to ensure that there will be no interruption to your gossip service and we apologise if it ends up being that I won’t resume blogging until Tuesday. (If Brange ends up grinding on each other on a beach in France, or getting married there, I will punch them.) We are so grateful for your understanding. We are so, so, sorry if it’s an inconvenience.

Thank you, Vancouver. Vancouver gave me a husband, another family, my best friend, my two dogs, my career, the greatest food in the world, and a love of the outdoors that I never thought I’d have. I will love you forever.

PS. Because I love disgusting you, and because poo is my favourite subject, remember that this drive won’t exactly help my poo problem since I don’t go enough anyway and since I can’t go just anywhere. Basically if I don’t take care of things between now and tomorrow morning at 5am, I’ll likely be celebrating my first moments in Toronto with some relief. An elegant arrival, non?