Firebombing The Pizzeria With Moonshine Is Not The Correct Reaction When You’re Denied Pizza

While we totally understand that there’s nothing quite like the cheesey siren song of pizza after a few too many drinks, in no way, shape or form is it acceptable to try to burn down a pizzeria with homemade moonshine firebombs when you’re refused service.

Police in Eugene, Ore. say a couple that was cut off from pizza and told to leave a pizzeria because they were intoxicated came back later and tried to burn the whole place down, reports the Associated Press.

After kicking the couple out around 10 p.m., one employee tells KMTR.com that the man and his companion came back shortly after, and starting banging on the door “really hard, like the things on top of the door were falling off.”

Things got even worse when he allegedly tossed a planter through the window to break the door’s glass and came inside to wreak havoc while workers hid in the basement.

“I was on the phone downstairs crying with the cops, and was like you need to hurry, he’s upstairs in our restaurant!” she said. “I heard the glass crash, and I was like run! And we ran, and he was shutting the doors behind us through the restaurant.”

That’s when police say the suspect fashioned a wick from a curtain and stuffed it into a bottle of moonshine, setting the homemade Molotov cocktail on fire.

“I thought he was going to blow the place down,” the employee recalls. “I really thought he was going to hurt us, like – that was terrifying.”

Officers arrived on the scene and arrested the man and his companion on charges of arson and burglary.

And now they have no pizza and burned up all their moonshine, so the moral of the story is clearly that (attempted) arson doesn’t pay.