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How My Husband Ended Up Wearing My Victorias Secrets Panties

Funny Story: How My Husband Wound Up Wearing My Victoria’s Secrets

Men! Need I say more? If only they would learn!

We spent quite a bit of time visiting in Central Oregon and once upon a time, they had a North Face Outlet store. Bob has the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen and I am always trying to get the right “stuff” to bring out those baby blues. On our trip to Bend, we found THE jacket to die for and Bob as well simply had to have it. It quickly became his favorite of all time. That’s when the trouble started.

Weeks later, he has all but slept in his favorite jacket and decides it needs to be washed. I have up to this point now been doing his laundry for roughly 25+ years and have yet to have any laundrical disasters. But hey – for some crazy reason known only to Bob, he gives me the news flash that HE is going to wash his precious jacket and I’m not to do anything with it or even touch it. Well, if that wasn’t a slap in the face but I figured at this stage in our life, it’s best to just let go of the reins and let him ride free….or give him enough rope and stand back and watch what happens. Fine by me!

Picture by Audrey Kirchner – The Catalog I’m Hiding from Bob

How My Husband Wound Up Wearing My Panties

A day or so went by and I’m innocently sitting at work at my computer
processing files for our medical transcription business; Bob is out performing one of his parts, a 200-mile delivery jaunt that takes him all over the greater Seattle area to at least 5 hospitals and numerous doctor offices daily. About mid afternoon, he bursts into my office quite flushed and more than a little flustered whereupon he proceeds to pull out a pair of my Victoria’s Secret blue panties from his pocket. Well, first off I’m more than a little worried. I hear about this kind of thing all the time and although I don’t THINK my husband is a cross-dresser, it usually comes out of nowhere and the wives always claim “they had no idea”. Could I be one of these women?

I demurely ask if there is anything he needs to tell me and after a few beats of stunned silence he briskly waves THAT off – whew….dodged a
bullet there. “Oh don’t be ridiculous,” he says with great indignation.
“But then what are you doing with my panties in your pocket, if you don’t mind me asking the obvious, Bob?”

He proceeds to tell me all about his day; he has gone for coffee, he has run in at this hospital to pick up/drop off, this doctor’s office, another hospital; gone for lunch, run errands…on and on it went. I don’t think 20 stops would be an exaggeration and all the while he is oblivious. Finally, at his very last stop, the dry cleaners in our hometown, he is standing in line (it is a very busy shop) and someone taps him on the back.

He turns thinking he is going to be greeted by one of our friends perhaps or be asked a question only to hear a velcro-sounding “r-r-r-r-i-i-p-p” as in static electricity and something being peeled off. He turns the rest of the way to find a very nice-looking woman with
a pair of my Victoria’s Secret panties (in a matching blue I might add)
in her hand. She says trying not to laugh, “I thought you might want these somewhere else other than on your back”.

If only I had been there! If only I had a video of the moment when he
spied the panties in her hand and realized that they had been plastered
on his back all day long as he tooled around Seattle and environs! Oh if only! He was so utterly mortified he said he wanted to just bolt out of the dry cleaners and leave the clothes – as in forever. Unfortunately, pride and money won out and he stayed while everyone chuckled and laughed and he proudly stuffed my panties into his pocket.

The Moral Of The Story

Appreciate what you have! If your faithful wife wants to do your laundry, it’s a gift; get over it! No item in your closet is that important!

If your wife still wears Victoria’s Secret underwear after all these years and she can still look pretty good doing so, be grateful! It could have been a big-butt pair of white undies from JC Penney that would have taken up the entire back of the jacket; but then again something like that MIGHT just have gotten noticed before the day started!

There could have been a lacy bra plastered on there as well to go with the panties. No one apparently tells guys to check the dryer when they toss in something! It’s not rocket science, guys!

Above all, value the beauty of a make-you-cry laugh and treasure the stories that make up your history together. I consider my 35 years with Bob the ride of a lifetime and worth every moment of laughter and tears.

They Did Not Call Bob To Participate

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