Current Main Cast

Clango Cyclotron is a robot. He's also one of the last nice guys left.

He's as red-blooded male as a robot can be and dated Maura for quite a while. They broke up after he caught her with Electron Mike. He dated Pale Suzie for a time afterwards, and is currently recovering from a self-inflicted hard drive failure brought about by a giant magnet.

Maura Glee used to work in "internet entertainment" and retired the moment she had enough cash to retire in style. She didn't date for about three years. Boys just didn't appeal to her and girls... didn't work out. She dated Clango quite happily for a time but had a bit of a drinking problem.

Metal Steve is the truly rocking natural enemy of Indie Rock Pete. Steve hates what he sees as the poseur-iffic nature of Indie and Pete hates anyone who purports to rock more than he does. Metal Steve is saving himself for marriage, much to Lil' Sis' chagrin.

He has tasted many beers, yet refuses to hook up with drunk girls.

Lil' Sis is Maura's younger Sister. She's a bit of a meanie, but is a lot smarter than most people think. If any character knows the most of the others, it's her.

She is currently pursuing a career in dentistry and enjoys the troubles of others.

Lil' Sis' real name has only been uttered once in the history of this comic strip.

Red Robot #C-63 is the sworn enemy of all humans. His hatred of all things organic has not stopped him from having failed relationships with women. He is currently extremely wealthy.

Secondary Cast and Random Weirdos

Eve is a silver-tongued, bipolar Marxist Ashkenazi with an erotic yen for boys, girls and robots. She changes lifestyles more often than many of her friends change pants. She is recovering from putting the moves on Maura, which is gross because she used to date Maura's Lil' Sis.

Nipples the Bear is a cartoonist who thinks he is a bear. He likes it when you touch his soft fur. It's best if you don't ask about who he's dated. For the sake of your families.

His arch foes include Adolf Hitler and the hunter who shot Bambi's mother.

Charles is black without necessarily being a brother, Canadian without being a drunk and a mild-mannered computer nerd who tries his best to be a decent human being.

Collin "Doc" Cunningham is Clango's therapist and robo-chiropractor. He has been doing general maintenance on our hero since his original date of manufacture, August 14, 1997.

He tries to be a good doctor, but doesn't always have a lot of sympathy for Clango's inability to understand basic human interaction.

Joel used to maintain Maura's website, but never got to farm her server. He's got the hots for Lil' Sis but never did anything about it. He actually treats Clango with respect, which should not be odd enough to note on this page.