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Napoleon Hill – “Men take on the nature and the habits and the power of thought of those with whom they associate in the spirit of sympathy and harmony” – Think & Grow Rich

Networking has become the dark corner for so many women in business. It’s time to shine some light, find your tribe and strut your STUFF!

4 easy questions to ask yourself to help you get out there and find your people

– Do I stay or do I go? – to network or not to network….

So, you don’t like networking?

Do you stay at home and satisfy yourself that social networking behind your computer screen is just as good?

The truth is, it isn’t! When you stay at home / in the office, you restrict your growth and prevent yourself from building relationships that will really help your business. NOT getting out there and communicating person-to-person serves you only by feeding your mind with negative beliefs about yourself (I am not good enough, I can’t network, no-one wants to listen to me) – guess what, it is all in your head! When you do get out there, persist and take some good advice on how to make the most of your experience (read on!)

– What and who inspires me?

What DO you like doing? Perhaps you love having the best coffee in town, or exploring a place you’ve not visited before – look for a meet that might fulfil this for you, and experiment!

What beliefs do you have that spur you ON?

That belief in community or collaboration or even fun that you have? Dust off those beliefs, re-engage with them and make those your joyful focus while meeting new people!

WHO are your mentors, go-to people for inspiration, famous people you admire?

Find out where they are speaking or holding events, and GO there!

And when they are not around, place yourself in their shoes (buy a pair just like them if you have to!) and breathe in the powerful knowledge that if they can inspire you, you too can inspire others – it is within us all.

Finally…

What makes you laugh?

Take your sense of humour with you!

– Where am I AT right now?

Are you an entrepreneur in a big learning phase?

Whether you are just starting or up-levelling, step up, invest in a quality networking meeting and absorb the higher frequency of the people who are at YOUR next level

Are you working for someone else?

You can still make it fun, don’t be afraid to look at personal development aims as well as aims of the business you are working in – guess what, if you are more light-hearted and having more fun, you’re so much more likely to achieve the business goals you’ve been set anyway.

Have you never been to a networking meeting before?

Enjoy it! You will never have your first time again! Take some of these tips here with you, stay present and get collecting those business cards (read further on for more info on this)

– What is my ‘mind-set smile’?

Get yourself your own personal mind-trick!! If you find yourself getting too caught up in the outcomes you want to achieve, stuck in your own head, STEP OUT of it. Either move (best place to go is outside for some fresh air), or refer to your mind-set smile…

This could be a picture of your child laughing, your dog playing, something more personal that I cannot write here ;o)

Something, anything, to remind yourself that YOUR LIFE DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE CONVERSATION YOU ARE HAVING RIGHT NOW!

And, breathe!

4 essential tips to making the most of your networking experience

(even when you have to force yourself just to get there!)

– LISTEN

Of course! Yet, I have had so many ‘conversations’ with people who just talk. I remember a time when that was me too! I let my passion for what I did block out any meaningful interaction. Listen. Really listen. Deeply listen. Be present to what that person is saying, not to your thoughts about what they are saying OR your thoughts on what you are about to say! This last piece is especially distracting, so learn to avoid it.

If you have a deep and meaningful conversation with just one person, how much more creative and fulfilling is that than if you had stayed away?

Remember this, for someone to be interested in what you are offering them, whether today, next week or next year, you have to first be interested in them.

– Ask questions

This might sound obvious, but I have been to so many networking events where I am talked at or if yes I am listened to, there are no questions forthcoming. How does this feel when it happens to you? For me, it gives me the unsettled feeling that I’m actually not being listened to after all! Throw in some unusual ones too – you can be really creative with this (depending on your brand, business etc), but these can make you stand out and put your most interesting side forward.

Questions like – if you weren’t doing x what would you be doing? What did you want to do as a child? When was your best, most fun networking experience? Who really inspires you? Do you enjoy networking? (!)

Another good idea is to throw in some of your own market research questions too. If you are about to launch a new product or service, people will always appreciate that you value their opinion AND it is a great way to open a dialogue that can lead to other things, like promoting you, JVs, even that person becoming a client of course.

– Collect business-cards

If this is your one and only outcome, you’ve picked a good one! Find out all about them, take a business card and offer to send them your monthly newsletter.

Taking the focus away from your own business card really helps you take the focus off yourself… “Why is that a good thing?” have you ever had that self-conscious feeling when networking? The one that turns into self-judgement and self-criticism? So, make it NOT about you. And THEN you’ll be in the flow…….

– Make it about them not you

OK, so listening and asking questions can just about achieve this. But, if you get into your heart, set the intention to feel connected to the person you are talking with, you and they will really feel the difference…… AND if it feels completely misaligned, politely move on to the next person – your time is very valuable, be present to how you can make best use of it.

Detach from YOUR outcome and learn about theirs – it’s so much easier and so much more fun!

OK, I hear you. And, I also hear the love and beautiful intention behind this.

I also hear now the painful illusion behind these words – the self-sabotage blocking your path to making some money out of what you love to do!

But, I understand. Because this was my cry to the world for a couple of years. Years when I spent time, energy and money giving to others without any request for something in exchange. I even thought it would be just plain wrong to ask for something back….!

I wasted precious time allowing myself to believe that I had to prove my worth as a coach by finding solutions for others’ problems, giving time to those who wanted me to listen, helping people to believe in themselves when I was rapidly losing my own self-belief as a result.

The issue was simpler than that though. I was living my life, having left a City job that paid a 6-figure salary and made me unhappy, trying to prevent other people from living similarly inauthentic lives. I really wanted people to see that life did not have to be that way, and even more importantly it was never designed to be that way!

Fortunately, I eventually realised, through finally getting the right support in my life, that the first question I needed to answer was not,

“How can I help as many people as possible to feel good about themselves,” but

“How can I make myself into the best example of living a joyful authentic life?”

After all, we do know that offering advice is ineffective if we are not leading by example, shining example.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Gandhi

The truth is that money provides you with the freedom to give, to do, to be what you want, whenever you want it.

We DO have dreams for ourselves, how can we not if we have dreams for other people?

What is it you don’t want to admit, even to yourself? – That in secret you really do love a bit of luxury? That living an easy life where you are provided for in every way would just be so much better? That you don’t want to struggle to prove your worth any more?

What are your Money Stories? Are you struggling to believe you really deserve wealth? Do you think that money will make you a bad person? Has money shown up in your life and then been taken away? There are countless stories you have built up around money in your life – find them, love yourself for them and take your power back from them.

What would you do with your money? Philanthropy / social enterprise? What would be the most amazing thing to do/provide for the cause closest to your heart? Doesn’t that need oodles of cash?

Oprah Winfrey donated £32million in just ONE year. How amazing would you feel if you had the resources to do something like this?

AND here is the THING! If you become your most powerful, creative, productive, loving, bountiful self while wearing those Louboutin’s you have coveted OR while enjoying a beautiful meal in an expensive restaurant or or or, fill in the blanks – THAT is when you are at your BEST, and effortlessly able to do the good in the world you want to do.

There are some key, simple universal facts here:

The universe in which we live is infinitely abundant. If you have more, it does not mean that somebody else has less.

By believing you can’t have what you want, you make it so. Thoughts and beliefs and words – they all create your reality. No more “I can’t afford it…”

Money is energy. Just like everything else in our world. Except, money represents more than just its physical form, it represents ebb & flow, movement, healthy exchange and, of course, abundance. Holding onto money, through fear of lack, causes a stagnation of energy, stopping the flow both ways.

Start creating today. State your intent.

“Money flows to me easily and effortlessly.”

Ask, believe, receive.

Love,

Victoria

If you have not yet listened to my call on How to Sell High Level Packages you can get a free copy here

The Footballer’s Approach to Setting and Reaching Your Life Goals!

A Brief Guide

To score a goal, the best footballers:

Know that practise makes perfect
Look at what you have already tried, what worked and what didn’t – ensure you learn from past experience, never dismiss or regret it AND keep checking-in with your goal, each day imagine the effects of achieving it KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE!

Keep trying if their first kick misses
The key here is perseverance. If you are still emotionally-engaged with this goal, it is worth going through a few set-backs for and getting back on the road in the right direction!

Have an amazing team around them
Few goals are achievable without the help or input of not another single human being… Ask for and get help – don’t let your pride get in the way

Have a support network outside of the team
Similarly, your family/friends and others in your support network will provide the essential encouragement, good humour and emotional (or other, eg. financial) support to speed your journey to where you want to go

Use anchoring (kit, football pitch, lucky charms, hair-cuts/beards! etc)
Anyone familiar with NLP will have heard of the Spatial Anchor. This is theconcept that having a certain item or being in a certain place can has the psychological effect of bringing you back to the feeling you need to capture to move forward towards your goal; eg. if you are a singer/actor/speaker and you got a standing ovation at one event, wearing blue – blue becomes your anchor for success

Face the right direction
We need to figure out which direction to head to reach our own goals – make sure you can ‘see’ your destination.

Are well-trained in the skills/expertise it takes to aim and ‘hit’ the space between the posts
As well as travelling in the right direction, we need to make sure we fine-tune the detail of our journey.

Develop a success confidence (learn how to take on the mind-set of success by being with the right coaches/trainers)
Get the best advice, guidance and support from the best people in your field – hire a coach or mentor to provide you with a feeling of assured success

Can visualise a successful result
More and more sports people are hiring coaches and other personal development experts to work on their mental approach. The following techniques have been proven to work in accelerating the journey to scoring OR achieving your goals:Visualisation – by mentally taking the exact steps and really ‘seeing’ the results in your mind, your brain is programmed to ‘live’ the success you are aiming forLaw of attraction – you get what you focus on. Focus on failure, and that is where you may be headed!Affirmations – repeated statements of success similarly programme your brain to move in the desired direction.

Provide themselves with the best equipment/resources that they can
What exactly do you NEED? What books/advice/equipment/experience/information? Get it ALL!

Adjust their targets, to give a success-mentality in lead-up to ultimate goal
For the longer-term goals, set journey goals to plot a path of successes leading up to the Ultimate Success

Share their results… not just with those who rely on them scoring those goals
TELL someone (or more than one!) what it is you are aiming to achieve. Make yourself accountable – it’s more difficult to give up if someone other than yourself is relying on you!

Are those who get a massive emotional pay-off on scoring a goal (the ‘high of success’)
The minute you lose the emotional-engagement with the achievement of a specific goal, you may as well forget it (or, at least, adjust it). The more the feeling of getting it thrills you, the more you can channel positive energy into it.

Are constantly looking for a ‘way-in’ to score that perfect goal
Make sure you are self-aware and conscious of the world around you. Will you spot that rare opportunity when it comes knocking at your door?

Know that there is a huge pay-off at the end for a positive result
Your goal does not have to be monetary or even involve financial gain. Making sure you know how you will reward yourself at the end of your successful journey provides a juicy added incentive to score the perfect goal….