Powerful and depressing. Can't say I like it (see the former), but it is beautifully done and convincing. The discovery of his daughter killed a second time could only be the last straw. Thanks for writing it.

Wow that was an intense ride. My first reaction was poor Jane, then it was you broke him! But seriously great story, I enjoyed the fast pace, and yet you were able to thoroughly develop this storyline with the right amount of details. The emotions and movements that played out were so real and vivid I couldn't help but feel the moment when Jane "broke" or "snapped".

I have enjoyed quite a few of your Mentalist stories, and just can't get enough of them. All the best with future writing adventures!

This was a story filled with many twists and turns. I enjoyed it a lot. Watch your Britishisms though...there is no Tower Bridge in Sacremento. You are a great writer and this is something you should consider pursuing professionally.

Anna chapter 11 . 4/24/2010

This is very well written and so intense! I had tears in my eyes in the end.

Sad sad sad! but brilliant story! I wish he got better, he's been broken enough. You made Jane's breakdown so realistic because losing your family once would be hard, losing your daughter twice would be soul shattering... very sad but awesome! I loved this whole story

OH WOW! This is just great! OMG! so jane's daughter wasn't really jane's daughter... and red john found out that he hurt the wrong girl, right? so he decided to kick jane while he was still down by killing his real daughter! AH gotta read the rest now, bye

Great story, well written, and very original concept. The inner-angst lover in me loved it. Well all of me loved it, but I have to say I really think I'm going to have to go cuddle a teddy bear or something now, just to feel better. Thanks for sucking all the sunshine and rainbows out of my day.

This was dark and unsettling, and at the same time, ingenious! You somehow managed to break Jane and make it sound very, very plausible. I've still got an uneasy feeling (poor Patrick), but still am sure to re-read your story again and again. You've brought up mighty emotions there, big, big congrats. I'll check more of your stories, that's for sure!

First of all, I wish you a Happy New Year (I know I'm a bit late with that, but hey :D).

Second: I fail at R&R lately, I'm sorry, but I was kinda lazy after my New Years Eve / Day trip.

Third: I absolutely love this ending. It is so depressing and heartbreaking, but it fits the story so well. I don't know what else to say except that it's brilliant. *takes a bow* Tracie, thank you so much for writing this!