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the year ahead Hendrik Gout TAURUS THE BULL The state economy will go from Bull to Bust. Treasurer Kevin Foley will oversee a shrinking state domestic product, the highest unemployment in mainland Australia, and lower levels of investment, profitability and business activity. The number of South Australians who owe more in debt on their houses than the homes are worth will increase. Primary production will prop up start-ups like foreign universities and institutions, defence and film- making, which the government continue to subsidise. The SA car and component industry faces a grim 2009, with shift cuts in the New Year and unsold cars clogging dealerships. Projections for SA’s population growth will be revised downwards. GEMINI THE TWINS Rann and Hamilton-Smith will be joined at the hip on policy.They’ll both continue to argue for tougher law-and-order legislation, cuts to social services, more money for roads than for public transport, more money for mining than the environment, and more support for business than for individuals. By the end of 2009 MHS will realise that you can’t out-Rann Rann and he’ll scrabble to differentiate himself from Labor, but by then it will be too late. Labor will have set itself up to win the next election. CANCER THE CRAB Urban infill will growlike cancer in Adelaide’s inner suburbs. New town planning regulations will see existing homes demolished to make way for medium-to-high- density flats and townhouses. Neighbours who want to subdivide will fight with those who don’t, giving a whole new meaning to Neighbourhood Watch. The government will continue to sell public land to developers. The Glenside and Port Adelaide redevelopments will be used by future archaeologists to prove that intelligent urban design died in 2009. Adelaide commuters, who once lived in ‘the 20-minute city’, will take 30 minutes to drive along North Terrace. LEO THE LION Lock up your children! The lion still stalks the night. World security will fail to improve in 2009, with tension increasing between India and Pakistan, North and South Korea, Israel and Palestine, Georgia and the Russian Federation, and the USA against the rest of the world. The runes say no end to Australian’s involvement in Afghanistan or Iraq. Yemen will bring back making Gulf pirates walk the plank. Inflation in Zimbabwe will settle down to a manageable 1,200 per cent per hour, Greece and Turkey will shake hands and call Cyprus a silly misunderstanding, and New Zealand will finally forgiveAustralia for that under- arm bowling incident. VIRGO THE VIRGIN Internet censorship will be the bête noire of fast connectivity in 2009. Federal Communications Minister Stephen Conroy is stupidly pushing for mandatory internet filtering which will not only slow your home and business internet connection by 87 per cent (a figure provided by the govern- ment’s own Communications and Media Authority), it will cost $45 million in the first year and $33 million every year after that. Will it work? Of course not. Ten per cent of all prohibited sites will still get through, but the bad news is that it will block as many as one in 12 legitimate sites. The worse news is that the government can decide, ata whim, which sites to block. Say goodbye to political activism on the Net. LIBRA THE SCALE OR BALANCE The signs say that the long- running stoush between Adelaide’s legal fraternity and the Attorney-General will worsen. The Law Association, Bar Association and Council for Civil Liberties will have further reasons to criticise ‘draconian’ legislation – to use Mr Atkinson’s words – which erode the rule of law, human rights and free association. The government will continue to resist the urgently needed independent commission against crime and corruption, and the opposition will campaign for its establishment. NSW’s ICAC this week uncovered ‘entrenched’ cor- ruption at RailCorp. It uncovered $19 million in improperly allocated contracts awarded to companies owned by RailCorp employees, their families and friends. Corrupt officials and pollies in SA must be glad we don’t have an ICAC here. The Independent Weekly December 19 - January 8, 2009 9 www.independentweekly.com.au Horrors cope and happy winners 2008 was a year some people – on the stock exchange, the SAJC and the waterless Riverland – would like to forget. What of 2009? Here’s our horoscope for the year dead ahead. ARIES THE RAM Year of the Tiger Ashley Porter They say a Tiger never changes its stripes, and the 2009 AFL season will centre on whether Ben Cousins will. The return to football with Richmond by the confessed drug addict will dominate the game, and expect to read stories that his aunty’s butcher knew someone who once smoked dope. Missing will be credit for Cousins having the courage to come back. The game has got over “flooding” and will move completely to “zone”. Those who can zone like Hawthorn, Geelong and Adelaide will do well, and those who can’t will say zones are ruining the game. All will agree that rushing behinds is ugly and we need to give free kicks to stop this tactic. Season 2009 will be great for the 50-year-olds. Come September they will be able to say they have seen Collingwood win just one miserable premiership in their lifetime. SCORPIO THE SCORPION The sting is in the tail on industrial relations, WorkCover, paid maternity leave and the legacy of hated WorkChoices. SA unions will step up their campaign against the Rann Government but without success. Feeling betrayed by the Labor Party, union leaders will miserably moulder throughout 2009 and threaten not to campaign for Rann in 2010. By December they’ll realise that if the State Liberals are re-elected they’ll make the payment of wages to employees voluntary, child labour will be allowed to ease the skills shortage in the mining industry, and WorkCover will apply only to MPs falling drunk at late-night leadership coups. SAGITTARIUS THE ARCHER Cupid’s arrow and love affairs! The horoscope shows SA consum- ers will continue lose their hearts to Adelaide beaches in summer, the Flinders Ranges and outback in winter, the Central Markets every Saturday and the Adelaide Hills all year round. But our love affair for consumer goods will fall in 2009 with sales of plasma televisions, white goods, and luxury items like a roof overhead becoming less affordable. AQUARIUS THE WATER-BEARER It will rain! Ancient and secret portents say next year will be a wetter year than 2008. It still won’t be enough to save the Coorong and Lower Lakes. The government will go ahead with plans to build the Wellington and Clayton weirs, and Lakes Alexandrina and Albert will be pickled in salt. Karlene Maywald will say it isn’t her fault. Penny Wong will say not to go blaming her. Irrigators are predicted to say they haven’t contributed to the problem, and a new report will come out proving that Murray Cod were the culprits all along. CAPRICORN THE HORNED GOAT The national economy is in for storms during 2009, but Australia will ride the worst waves and still be afloat this time next year. Our exports will fall. Unemployment will rise to 7.5 per cent; interest rates will fall to a low of 3.5 per cent. The recession will last at least until June, when signs will emerge that the economy really can come back from the dead. PISCES THE FISH There’s plenty more fish in the sea, and if the doomsayers are right and polar icecaps melt, there’ll be a lot more sea for them to swim in. The global warming debate will continue to dominate the political agenda in those countries where people aren’t fighting civil wars or dying of preventable diseases. Other environmental issues – marine parks, heritage trails, national parks, weed eradication and feral animal control, species extinction and care for our urban environment – will be subsumed by the CO2 catch-cry. At the end of 2009, it will be revealed that the global warming scare was brought to you by the same people who perpetrated the Y2K hoax. Geelong for the premiership with St Kilda doing what it does best – posing as a threat. Hawthorn will relinquish its crown because of injuries and parties with Buddy. The young Crows will be exciting, but don’t be so sure they will finish ahead of the Power. Whatever you say about Port’s disastrous 2007 grand final, it got there so it must have some talent, and for all its failings last year it has a lot of good young players who have matured. Warren Tredrea will sit in a deck chair in the goalsquare,move occasionally, and without the pressure of the captaincy will kick 60 goals in between Josh Carr patting his opponents on the back with his right fist. The return of Port as a genuine competitor will mean Mark Williams will be reappointed. The most predictable news story will be the AFL putting its plans for an 18th side in Sydney’s western suburbs on hold because it’s rugby league territory. The economic crisis will hit the clubs hard with big-name sponsors being forced to terminate their multi-million dollar sponsorships. The Crows should prepare themselves. It will be the same for all big sporting events, and after the Lance Armstrong Show, turning the Tour Down Under into a circus (but then, a circus has a program) we will read stories how the event is under threat. Come March, the Clipsal 500 will be a huge success (again), but will also be under pressure. The SANFL will pledge its support for the 432nd revised plan for a new stadium with Australia’s bid for soccer’s 2018 World Cup. In retaliation, Adelaide United will campaign for AFL matches at Hindmarsh Stadium, and the media will think it’s a marvellous idea. Meanwhile, world swimming records go begging at Marion because there is still no pool, and a further 23 athletes will be hospitalised after tripping over chunks of track at SANTOS Stadium. An election looms, and politicians promise to upgrade venues. The Rann government asks the SAJC for ideas on how to get votes. The 2009 sporting year ends with some bright spark suggesting we bid for the 2030 Commonwealth Games seeing that we missed out on the 2018 World Cup soccer. No one is surprised, but like the Cousins show, it still makes good reading.