Backwards Jokes

If you pronounce "fuck off" backwards.

you say it in a British accent.

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racecar backwards is racecar

Racecar sideways is probably Paul Walker

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on 20 minutes at this point...

Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:

"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"

What do you get when you spell “man” backwards?

Flashbacks

Based on an urban myth: Two guys were smoking weed one late evening

Not being in the best state for great decisions, they figured they wanted to go for a ride to pick up some food. However, as they came to the first roundabout one guy said, let's go for an extra round. Sure, said the other and off they went.

"You know what would be even better?"

"Wh...

I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...

Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forwards, they’d still be on the boat.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do Jewish men like to watch porn movies backwards?

Cause they like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Coffee spelled backwards is "eeffoc".

Just know that I don't give eeffoc until I've had my morning coffee.

Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

“Oh, that’s just Beethoven decomposing”.

Teacher: Simon, can you say your name backwards?

Simon replies: “No Mis”

My dyslexia is a little unique. I often end up reading words backwards, without realising, and it annoys the hell out of people. I sit by my bed and pray every single night for it to go away, "maybe he'll fix it", I thought...

After all, God is a man's best friend.

What do you get when you spell "man" backwards?

Flashbacks

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

“That’s just spam.”

Doctor: It appears that your DNA is backwards

Patient: And?

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that’s spelled the same backwards as forwards...

It’s a Palin drone...

If you watch a movie with Jackie Chan backwards...

You will get a documentary about a Chinese guy who assembles furniture with his feet.

Before you say Tesla backwards

Make sure everything is alset.

What do you call 300 rabbits marching backwards?

A receding hare line.

Sometimes i like to tuck my knees under my arms and lean backwards

Cuz thats just how i roll

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam is, naturally enough!

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(shoot him Kurt)

If someone wants to say the word "motel" backwards

Just letom.

What do you get if you watch Jaws backwards?

You get a movie about a shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach

Some say that if you play Nickelback backwards you'll hear Satan.

Even worse, if you play it forwards you'll hear Nickelback.

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

I know this guy who told me he ages backwards.

I don't know though, he was always kidding.

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your truck is fixed, you dog is alive, and your wife comes back

Today i learned

TIL that dyslexia is the same forward and backwards

Didi you hear about what happened to the woman who walked backwards into a propeller?

Disaster...

My Sikh friend was walking backwards

I guess he was reversingh.

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I want to live my next life backwards....

You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When you sta...

If anyone ever asks you to spell “part” backwards don’t do it...

It’s a trap...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Just watched my wedding video backwards

Loved the part where my bride to be moonwalked out of the church, got into a car and fucked off out of my life

is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . .

. . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

If you read the bible backwards its about a man sent to earth on a cross who is helped down by some Romans and told to go on his way. He then travels the world making people blind and giving them leprosy. He even ruins a meal for a huge crowd by turning all their food into 2 fish and 5 loaves.

He gets fewer followers as time goes by and in the end he's lying in a stable and 3 old men steal all his presents.

What happens when you play a country music record backwards?

Your wife comes home, your truck starts, and your boots fit.

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

Why do scubadivers roll backwards out of the boat?

If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.

Credit to my girlfriend and boyfriend. They the real heroes.

They are always backwards

Why are time travel jokes bad?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did the pet store owner feed his snakes viagra when they were stuck crawling backwards?

He thought they were suffering from a reptile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the guy who put his condom on backwards?

He went.

"Tony, can you spell your name backwards?"

Tony: sure... y not

Why do Canadians say the alphabet backwards?

They always have to end with A.

If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

If you watch it backwards. . .

The Shawshank Redemption is about two mexican fishermen who are such great friends that when one of them is sent to prison in Maine, the other one crawls through five hundred yards of foulness you can't even imagine to be with him.

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."...

A little boy who sat next to a man on the bus, noticed the man had his collar on backwards.

The boy interrupted the man who was readinga book and asked why he wore his collar backwards.The man, who was a priest, said, "*I am a Father*"

Confused, the boy frained, "*My daddy never wears his collar like that*".The priest looked up his book and answered, "*Iam the Father...

If you watch 127 Hours backwards

It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone get...

I played my wedding video backwards today.

It really cheered me up to see me take the ring off my wife's finger, walk out of church and go drinking with my friends.

What’s the difference between a word that’s spelled the same forwards and backwards and your friend in Italy?

One’s a palindrome and one’s a pal in Rome

Backwards, it was.

Yoda tried telling a joke.

"Sorry," says the bartender, "I've run out of jokes. Besides, haven't you got this backwards?"