Pancho’s Notes from “Battle Beyond the Stars”

Part of my prep for the B-Movie Review is taking notes while I’m watching the film. I’ll be the first to admit, this is my vain attempt to pretend I work for Rifftrax or Mystery Science Theater 3000. (I guy can dream, I guess.) Anyway, my cohorts think they’re rather amusing, so I’m gonna share them with you.

Enjoy!

“A Roger Corman Production” always promises of quality.

I see they’re using the Battlestar Galactica font for the credits.

Well, the spaceship effects are not completely terrible. I don’t see any string, anyhow.

Can’t say the same thing about the interior of the spaceship, though.

I’d like a flashing alarm crystal for my home.

I’m fighting the urge to wipe whatever that is off John Saxon’s left eye.

Same for that mole on John-Boy’s face.

The ship trusts John-Boy? Oh, geez.

Sentient spaceship named Nell? Who thinks up this stuff?

I see Nell has lots of panels with blinking lights and a machine that goes ping!

I’ve counted at least four scenes blatantly ripped off from Star Wars and we’re only 10 minutes in.

And they’re using Battlestar Galactica sound effects, too. How creative.

The spaceship looks like Hammerhead from the Star Wars cantina.

We have lens flare! JJ Abrams must have been involved somehow.

Nice repurposing of a welders mask.

The door opening sound on the space station, doesn’t sound a thing like Darth Vader breathing. Of course not!

Yes, John-Boy, the creepy space station guy wants you to fuck his daughter. Is it that hard of a concept?

John-Boy’s fuck toy is a terrible actress.

It’s bad when the android is less wooden than your leading lady.

Dear God! Tell me that is not a Confederate flag on the side of that space ship?

And we have space redneck!

And he’s high as a kite! Wonderful.

I see they have three special effects for this scene.

Funny how the peace-loving farm boy from a civilization that only had two spaceships knows what all these hi tech weapons are.