As the semester nears its closure, it is becoming more apparent that students will do just about anything to get ahead of their peers. Finals are but a few hours away for some of us, and we can barely trust our friends that were once study buddies for fear they might screw up the curve. Fear not, because there’s a new way to make sure you’re in prime position to tear through your finals without succumbing to the Adderall and Red Bull craze that pervades this time of year. For the mere price of an Andrew Jackson, you can lounge in that stiff wooden chair that is guaranteed to be more comfortable than your dorm chair, your bed, and the roof of Pimentel Hall.

It seems that UC Berkeley students have innovatively come up with ways to make financial progress through these tough times along with their academic advancements. This unnamed entrepreneur is offering you the once-in-a-lifetime chance to snag a seat in one of the best locations on all of campus. The Gardner Main Stacks are a perfect spot to study, though they have allowed the air of intellectual stimulation to get contaminated by the leftover stench of the naked run, or the general possibility of the existence of Stanford students in the library.

With tuition, housing, food, and overpriced movie tickets to pay for, we all consider ourselves poor college students. Every time we open our wallets, we’re faced with a gaping black hole – and we know better than to put any money in there since it’ll just get sucked back up. And unfortunately, we don’t have a source of unearned income like we did back home with the family. So how do you get around all of this?

Take advantage of those meal points! Since you studious people are in class for most of the day, chances are that you skip a few meals during the week. Under one of the regular meal plans, you can usually have two meals in the dining hall every day, so if you eat less than that, then you should have a few to spare every now and then. You may think that the Bear Market or the RSF’s refueling station are overpriced, but it’s a great way to stock up on snacks and other small items that you can bring to class and eat-on-the-go.

According to Bloomberg, UC Berkeley scientists conducted a study which has found that individuals of higher social class are more likely to perform in unethical behavior than their lower class counterparts.

Seven different experiments were performed on hundreds of people (many of who were recruited off Craigslist), including traffic related experiments done at San Francisco interactions. The results found that read more »

Contrary to popular belief, Berkeley students do not live in the main stacks, never seeing the sun and only coming out to retrieve the FSM coffee they need to survive in their vampiric lifestyle (Well, not all Berkeley students – some live in Soda Hall). We actually do like to get out and go places. However, sometimes it’s difficult.

Yes, there’s public transit if you don’t have a car, but BART, Muni, Caltrain, Amtrak, AC Transit — they are only so reliable and often take twice as long as driving would. And Zipcar can sure get pricey. If you are cursed blessed enough to have a car in Berkeley, let’s face it: Gas is expensive, and often it would be cheaper to take public transit (Plus, do you really want to give up that parking spot?).

So, sometimes, the Clog gets a kick out of Craigslist personals. Don’t judge. If we weren’t kind of creepy, we wouldn’t have discovered this.

The title of the ad? “Professor/Author Seeks Barely Legal Bookworm.” The hook? He’s looking for “highbrow conversations and bouts of polymorphous perversity” — “an intellectual giant in a Lolita body.”

The catch? This ad was posted in Berkeley.

Incoming freshmen better watch out. Our very own Humbert Humbert is waiting in office hours for you to “tell [him] which antinomian proclivities animate the secret regions of your soul.”

You may no longer be able to afford enrollment at UC Berkeley, but that shouldn’t stop you from investing in its real estate—especially if it’ll cost you less than a trip on the 51.

What if we told you that the university is currently advertising two on-campus homes for sale at the fabulously low price of exactly one buckaroo? Being the remarkably astute and endearingly cynical college students we know you are, you’d probably immediately speculate on the inevitable fine print of such an outlandish offer.

Congratulations! Higher education has served you well. The duo of houses, located at 2241 and 2243 College Ave, can be generously described as real fixer-uppers, and (arguably) more accurately characterized as pieces of sh*t.

So, whatever, you cough up $1 for a 100-year-old building that we imagine counts asbestos among the very least of its concerns. But wait! That’s not all. read more »

After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on earth.

We are: the guy or girl who posted the “erotic services” ad, without a phone or valid credit card number. You are: Craigslist, the web site that allowed us to do it and reach our customer base. Now you won’t post our ads and also, you’ve entered into an agreement with attorneys general from 40 states in which you promised to sue some companies that have been helping us get around … the law. And you’re going to start handing over information to the fuzz. WTF? We thought we had a connection! read more »

There is nothing quite so exhilarating as a symbolic gathering to represent a student’s step over the threshold of happy university, and into the doom and gloom of the “real world.” On Tuesday, the Clog finally stepped over that threshold and celebrated our vast accomplishments (procrastination-induced all nighters, skipped classes, etc.) with fellow seniors at the annual Commencement Convocation, which was organized by the spirited leadership group, the Californians.