I took off early from work today. Sick with SPRING FEVER, and a to-do list the size of Mt. Rushmore.

Original Mission: Research leg options for un-footed, dilapidated sectional sofa (stored in barn) (the section of the sectional with a recliner), to replace more-dilapidated, and recently broken, double-reclining loveseat used in house (the only piece of upholstered furniture I own, except for my bed, which is another [soon-to-be-told] story).

Mission Results: Abort. Said dilapidated sectional sofa (in barn) currently has one (1) existing screw-on leg. Two (2) other legs are attached with (at least) twelve (12) bolts, positioned in such a way as to make it nearly impossible to remove, let alone reconfigure them to fit onto afore-mentioned dilapidated double-reclining loveseat. Besides that, two (2) legs are not enough; I need four (4), minimum. Besides non-removable/cleanable cushions, covered with cat excrement, and God-only-knows what else.

Plan B Mission: Rehab/repair existing loveseat in house.

Plan B Results: You don’t want to know what I found when I flipped over the afore-mentioned dilapidated double-reclining loveseat to see if I could fix it. (Give me a break; it’s been in the same spot for 13 years. How often do you flip over your furniture?)

Part 2: Pour a glass (mug; I have cats) of wine. It helps me expand my thinking.

Mission: Clear the walkway by the back porch. This will involve sorting rocks. Yes, rocks. Pretty rocks. Valuable rocks, if sorted. Perfect for my OCD. They are sitting on table tops/boards, on the ground. (No legs…I’m sensing a theme here.) If I had my way, I would pick up the boards and simply relocate them. Not doable. (Kind of heavy, like 400 pounds each.) And there are four (4) tabletops. Sitting on the ground. No leverage whatsoever. And sorting is an absolute requirement, especially since I have OCD. And they’re pretty. They belong in groups/families. That will make it easier on my buyers. I’m gonna make a million.

Part 3: Gotta find something sit on…this is gonna take a while. Okay, I found a log. Perfect. This is a nature project, after all. Now I need containers, preferable with dividers, so I can sort by color, flatness and geologic type. And, these are rocks (heavy, especially in the quantities I’m dealing with – wanna see?), so obviously buckets will not do. I need large, but small-ish, containers or, even better, something with dividers (the sorting thing, you know). No way I have anything like that available…or do I? Let’s take a trip into the garden shed. I have found several plant-pot container thingies that are perfect. I knew when I salvaged them years ago from the Garden Center at Walmart that they would serve a useful purpose, but at the time I kinda expected that purpose to be holding plants that I would sell from my greenhouse. Well, the greenhouse never got built, and now I have just what I need. (No, I am not a hoarder.)INTERLUDE (Potty the dogs.)

Crap, now I'm out of daylight. I decided to switch gears for awhile and work in the barn. I have enough room now out there for a bowling alley (and I have a bowling ball). But, I exaggerate. It’s really only enough room for a billiards table. But I have no one to shoot billiards with. I also have a dart board. But, guess what? Whatev.

Lights out. Time now for reflection and introspection, or house projects where I have light.Or dancing. Yeah, that’s what I want to do! Oh, wait that’s right…no dance partner. Whatev.

Mission#?

Call and set up interviews with a handyman. (Come to think of it, that was my original plan.)