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I’m outta here, suckers

If you’ve read my blog posts, you know I’m old as hell. Or “was” old as hell. I’ve moved on, folks.

My humans would like to think I had a good life. I lived in Michigan and California. I drove back and fourth between those a total of four times. Add in various trips, and I was able to sniff stuff in twelve states. I also marked my territory in all twelve states, mind you, so Wyoming? Yeah, that pee spot is mine.

I swam in the Great Lakes. I swam in the Pacific Ocean. When I snuck away from my people, I also swam in some shallow bodies of water that could barely be described as “fetid ponds.” As an annoying dog, there were few things more satisfying than getting away from Scott and coming back covered in stinking mud. Ah, the good life …

Yep, I’m dead. Sunday, June 17, 2012 was my time. I arrived in 1998. I don’t remember much, other than that I was a five-pound pup in a Humane Society in Michigan. Scott and the Evil Queen found me. Apparently, me playing a game of throwing my own dried poop and chasing after it endeared me to the Evil Queen. I became theirs, they became mine. There was a lot of love, I tell you. A lot of love, a lot of treats, which are kind of the same thing.

I also utterly destroyed Scott’s back yard in Stockbridge, MI. I dug so many holes that he finally bought enough chicken wire to cover the entire back yard. He laid down the chicken wire, then a couple of inches of top soil, then seeded it. The first time I tried to dig through that? I had to admit, he beat me. Damn you, Scott!

But it’s not all bad. My family doesn’t believe in an afterlife, we don’t think we’ll all be reunited in a cloudy place with a bunch of winged dudes flying about and jamming AC/DC on harps, but in a way, I get to live on. You’ve read NOCTURNAL? Yeah, that “Emma” is me. Hopefully Scott can write a sequel, so I can roam around with Bryan a bit more. And maybe you’ve read ANCESTOR? Well guess what: those snarling 650-pound black and white beasties were based on me. ‘Cause I was that mean. It’s too late for you to prove that one wrong, by the way, so let the record show that my snarling face inspires monsters.

I know my people miss me. They miss me very much. I’m sorry they are hurting right now, but that’s the price you pay for the gift of loving something so deeply. It’s a price they pay gladly. As my atoms and elements spread to other uses, whatever might be left of me will miss them as well.

Thanks to you all for reading my surly blog posts. It was fun while it lasted. And when you read NOCTURNAL or ANCESTOR, think of me.

This is very sad. But, from the sounds of it, the sadness is entirely on the part of we who are left in her awesome wake. She lived as full and happy a life as any dog could hope for. Thanks for the inspiration that delivered such amazing stories to us when rendered through the prism of Scott’s writings, Emma. You were a good dog.

Scott, having recently lost my cat Ivan (named for Ivan the Terrible) which adopted my wife an I in 1998 and who pasted away this year in February, I can honestly relate to your loss. My condolences to you and the Evil Queen – and may Emma rest in piece!

The only true unconditional love we get is from our pet canines…Cats are nice but they can change their minds…Dogs love you, no matter what. I feel your pain, and thank you for sharing her with us over the years. Your tribute farewell from Emma was just perfect.

Sail on, DoE! Maybe you’ll find a yard without chicken wire. Not likely, because the FDO has connections, but it could happen. It could.

We just lost our own Small Psychotic Canine of 16 years this winter, and our daughter just got her very own first DoE (in training) 2 weeks ago. Circle of life sucks when it happens, but that’s part of being owned by a Dog.

Thank all of you very much for the sentiments. She was my dear friend for 14 years. I’ll never really get over this, just as I’ve never gotten over the loss of Mookie, but this is an unavoidable part of life. Time to move on and make more cool things that make people happy.

I actually registered for the site finally, just so I could leave a comment here and now. I forget who said, “I wish I could be half the man that my dog thinks I am”, but there you go. There’s not much that is rougher than losing your dog, but it sounds like you gave her a great life, and she returned the favor. She’s looking down, wagging, and getting up on a sofa as you read this . . .

Sorry to hear of the passing of the Dog of Evil. My deepest heart-felt condolences to the FDO and the Evil Queen. The loss of a family member of any kind just plain sucks. But she lives on in both Nocturnal & Ancestor. Long Live the Dog of Evil!

Miss Emma, you have brought joy and smiles to more than you can ever know and will live on forever in your human pet’s shared imagination, sniffing out genetic aberrations as the Littlest and Furriest Savior.

Sorry to hear that. Losing a part of the family is not easy. Much love and now I will leak at the eyes a bit everytime I read Nocturnal. And laugh when I reread Ancestor of think of Emma as the badass monsters. Very cool.

In your short time here you became more famous, and infamous, than most of us ever will. The world is truly a less evil place (which is sad people!) without the Dog of Evil. If it doesn’t already happen, everytime the FDO sees a dog that looks anything like you, he will get choked up a bit and maybe get a little misty eyed. So in the end, you win! The FDO’s own personal “Marley and Me” ending has come on. In the sequel to Nocturnal, I’m hoping you get some more “ink time”.

“She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.You are her life, her love, and her leader. she will be yours,faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.”