February 17, 2007

DE-fund Congress

Personally, I think Congress is a massive failure, but make no mistake, I support all those heroic members who are wasting their lives pursuing failed policies. The public educational system obviously failed them. Thus, they’re stuck in Congress because they’re too dumb to get a real job.

(snicker) “Halp Jon Carry!”

Where’s their exit strategy? What’s the time-line for their withdrawal? How many years must we fund failure? I say two-terms or we defund them. But remember — I support them.

Truth-be-told, I’d like to defund them now. But again, make no mistake, I support the congressional bait-and-switchers, or I did before I didn’t.

Is it 2008 yet? Do we really have to wait that long to get rid of those low lifes who put politics BEFORE the safety of this country?

I continue to be thankful and amazed that our troops don’t exit Iraq now. They won’t, but if they did, I would want them to lay their assault rifles on the steps of Congress. I would also like to offer another resolution to be attached to their fixed bayonets:

To Members of Congress:

WHEREAS, we have re-deployed ourselves in accordance with your conclusion that the war in Iraq is beyond our ability to win.

WHEREAS, we trust that your grave concerns about the prolonged chaos in Iraq will be assuaged by knowing that it is now under control of Iranian troops that crossed the Iraq border upon our departure.

WHEREAS, although the Iranians have seized control of Iraq’s oil refineries, we remain confident that you will manage to spin-off blame for that as well.

WHEREAS, now that the Iranians have placed Muqtada al-Sadr and those Al-Queda freedom fighters in control of the Iraqi Parliament, they won’t be ordering any more of that purple ink.

WHEREAS, even though we think you’re the biggest bunch of losers since the pet rock, be assured of our undying support. Thanks so much for all your loyal support of our failed efforts and wasted lives.

WHEREAS, in the event that another airplane invades restricted D.C. airspace and you find yourselves scurrying like mice from a big cat, good luck with that. Our pilots have parked their planes and left the keys in the ignition.