œLet me say unequivocally that the stupid fan is very important to us, Lucchino says earnestly. œWe™ve done focus groups with hundreds of stupid fans to really get into their mindset and see what drives them. For instance, we found that they™ll pay almost anything for a beer as long as there is no limit to how many they are served. That™s why our policy is that no matter how drunk a fan is, if they can somehow manage to stagger their way to the concession stand”we™ll keep selling them beer. Lucchino said that research indicates that stupid fans don™t mind not having any recollection of the game. œHey, I love watching baseball, but who am I to tell someone what constitutes a fun time at the game?

Lucchino was asked if he has any regrets about phasing out the more learned fans, those who truly love the game, and not those who attend games just to make a fool out themselves. œI just feel the stupid fan has been ignored for far too long, Lucchino said, eyes misty and his voice quivering with emotion just a bit. œTo accommodate them, we will continue to raise ticket prices, let the alcohol flow, and keep those pink hats coming. Hell, I™ll even throw down a few beachballs from my luxury box.