It’s just like a regular vending machine, except that in addition to buying yourself a drank, you can buy them for your friends as well. All you need is their phone number and your money. Type in their digits, a personalized message (“‘Sup man? Bought you a Mountain Dew Voltage.”) , and record a 10 second video right on the machine and you’re all set.

Somebody send me one.

Your friend will get a text with your message and a code to be redeemed for his free Mt. Dew, and then he just has to track down a stupid social vending machine to get his drink, which I assume will be pretty hard at first.

Even better, you also have the option of sending into the world “random acts of refreshment,” where you pay an extra couple bucks and trust that Pepsi’s vending machine army will buy someone else a drink with it. They won’t know who you are, of course, unless you stand in a public place and look directly at the vending machine’s camera and talk to it.

What do these even taste like?

This is ridiculous. Buying a drink used to be easy. Soon, you’ll have to bang your way though a janky touch screen, refuse the temptation to buy sodas for strangers, skip the steps where you link your soda purchases to your Facebook profile, and hope that Pepsi doesn’t misuse the mass of telephone numbers they are about to get.

Can’t I just buy the room temperature Wild Cherry Pepsi and move on with my life – why’s everything gotta be “social”?

Pepsi released a video (below) explaining the whole thing. A few things are clear. Old people can no longer buy sodas (the first step is “Choose one of the three pathways from the master screen”). Also, if there is anyone in front of you at the machine, it’s gonna take FOREVER to buy a Pepsi. Instead of insert-dollar-retrieve-drink, you’re going to have to wait behind insert-two-dollars-select-pathway-buy-drink-for-yourself-buy-drink-for-friend-type-in-phone-number-and-personalized-message-record-video-try-again-try-again-print-receipt.

If you’re at, say, a mall, or any other place where groups of teenage girls congregate, just get a Coke.

Although, if anyone sees one of these things around, send me a drink, cause I can’t resist the novelty.