The Craziest Penis Accidents Ever

Stay Away From Saws

In 2007, a 30-year-old Australian man wasn’t paying attention on the job, and now he may not be able to get the hand or blow kind. The sawmill worker got his own woody caught in the “log moving mechanism.” There was a lot of blood loss, but the man survived. Lucky him. Hope there’s worker’s comp down under!

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Simply Irresistible

As you slog your way through the myriad not-yet-April Fools' Day pranks that plague this nation, revel in this: no one has ever pranked someone better than Michael Jackson pranked Russell Crowe, and he did it for years. In an interview with The Guardian, Crowe revealed that despite having never met Jackson,…