True Blood Recap: Christopher Meloni Lays Down the Law (and Order)

Those of you who haven’t already seen this week’s True Bloodwill probably want to heed this ginormous SPOILER ALERT! warning and put off reading this recap for now. The rest of you, fangs out and dive in!

Gotta hand it to Christopher Meloni — the guy knows how to make an entrance. Looking for all the world like the kind of sharp-dressed man that ZZ Top once immortalized in song, the erstwhile Stabler made his True Blood debut Sunday as Roman, the Authority’s grandest of Grand Poobahs, threatening to stake our heroes, Bill and Eric, and revealing that it’s vampires who were created in God’s image, not humans. But, of course, we had miles to go before we got to his big scene. First…

TARA PITCHED A HISSY | After Pam ordered her progeny not to put the bite on Sookie or Lafayette, the newly minted fanger responded by trashing Gran’s house (which, by now we know, must happen at least once every season). Later, Lafayette — thinking for some reason that he and Sook made a mistake by having Tara turned into a monster — contemplated staking his cousin. Though Sook talked him out of it, Tara proved that no good deed goes unpunished by vowing never to forgive either of them and taking off into the night.

SAM AND LUNA BROKE UP | Alcide royally ticked off Martha by refusing to either partake of the all-you-can-eat-of-Marcus buffet or become the pack’s new master. Yet Sam and Luna were still allowed to leave without becoming side dishes. After Martha popped by Luna’s to plead for visitation rights with her granddaughter, however, the lovebirds had a knock-down drag-out. Sam argued that maybe Martha was right — that Emma would need guidance from fellow lycanthropes if she turned out to be a werewolf, not a shifter. Luna countered that a) he could get the hell out, and b) her little girl is NOT, NOT, NOT a werewolf! Which, natch, by episode’s end, it turned out she was — and an adorable puppy version of one, too!

IN THE SHOW’S 207 OTHER STORYLINES | Steve came out publicly as a vampire but remained closeted as a gay vampire. Which did not deter him in the slightest from trying to buy Jason’s rock-hard butt from Jessica, who delighted in stringing the reverend along before rejecting his offer. In flashbacks — all the way back to 1905, to be exact — Eric rescued Pam, then a madam, from the San Francisco version of Jack the Ripper. Recovering addict Andy found a vial of V in Debbie’s abandoned car but turned it over to Jason. (Damn, that Holly is a good influence on him!) After being slugged by a kid whose married mom he didn’t even remember boffing, Jason again tried to kiss and make up with Hoyt. Well, not kiss, but make up, at least. He even offered to let Hoyt move into his bachelor pad to get him away from his mother, who was secretly so thrilled that the himbo had broken up her boy and Jessica that she promised to bake him a pie. Finally, not long after Arlene decided that she’d had enough of her hubby’s nightmares and flashbacks, Terry decided that he had, too, and revealed to Patrick what he thought was causing them: A fellow war vet — Eller, presumably our firebug — wasn’t dead.

AND FINALLY | Having been recaptured by the Authority, Bill, Eric and Nora were taken to Dr. Evil’s lair. At least that was what it looked like. There, frenemies Bill and Eric were tortured with everything from UV lights to liquid silver, but to their credit, they didn’t rat each other — or Nora — out. Finally, Roman showed up at a council meeting attended by a Who’s Who of character-actor types (including slap-happy Salome, Barb from Cougar Town and the equivalent of the Anointed One from Buffy) and, Communion style, served them all shots of the blood of Lilith, the vampire who predates Adam and Eve in the Original Testament of the Bible. It was looking like curtains for the trio in trouble — not so much because of Roman’s short fuse or Nan’s murder but because they were suspected of being fundamentalists who oppose a peaceful coexistence with humans — until they revealed that Russell was alive… and on the loose… and, were they to be spared, even temporarily, they could neutralize that threat. Meanwhile, that threat himself, while still bedridden, was seen for the first time. Not exactly looking fresh as a daisy — more like a Real Housewife of Bon Temps right after a face-lift — but the implication was clear: Russell was being fed, regularly, and getting stronger by the minute.

So what did you think? Did Meloni get your pulse racing? Were you happy to see Russell again? Is Emma not an even cuter werewolf than Taylor Lautner? Sound off below.

It’s residual effects from SVU, it’ll pass. It’s all we’ve ever seen him on and the switch probably seems even harder because SVU is one of the biggest syndicated shows ever, there are at least 4 reruns a day on my tv! I think we’ll get more accustomed to him soon, I had the same issue watching Jamie Bamber on BSG with that American accent that sounded awful in the beginning. Then, by episode 4, I’d gotten used to his character and accent. Hopefully this will be the same scenario.

and if you’re gonna post your opinion why not answer a question about it without getting defensive…
my opinion is that meloni might not have fit in on the show if they’d cast him poorly but he works as a vamp since they put him in a role that is drenched with authoritah!

definitely agree about andy/witch and also less hoyt, sam and luna (who gives a crap about luna anyways). they’re annoying.
but i still love carrie preston, scott foley, and denis o’hare, so a little bit of them in the show is fine with me

Yeah it was a lot I agree ^ I feel like some of the characters don’t even have much of a sl. I also hate how most of them don’t share any screen time together anymore. Overall I still enjoy the show though

Tara will bite (or kill) her mother. Or even better, do you imagine a very big fight between the religious Lettie Mae and her the evil vampire daugther?? Can’t wait.
BTW Chris Meloni was fangtastic.. i love that word…. thanks Ginger

I have very little patience for the Tara storyline this year, and I usually love her. But this is really tedious. Still not sure how I feel about Chris Meloni as a vampire, it just seems weird. Loved the exchange between Sam and Luna: “Eff you!” “No, eff YOU!!” Hahaha. Also loved the exchange between Steve Newlin & Jessica bargaining for Jason. Although as far as Steve Newlin goes, nice little jab by the writers at real life saying that it’d be easier to come out as a vampire than as gay. Love Eric joking his way through everything. Love the girl who plays Nora. Love Sookie’s smile at the creeper in the “Stake” store after she read his mind. Love this show, no matter how ridiculous it gets.

I personally liked Chris Meloni. I can still remember Stabler, but it was good to see him in a very different life.

I get that everyone has a opinion. What bothers me is when people just state what they want without backing it up with any arguments. I mean, it’s not a rule to do so, but if you don’t want or like people disagreeing with you, at least try to explain your line of reasoning…

And dude, too many storylines. It bothers me. Wish to see Sookie, Bill and Eric in the same scene any time soon, at least.

For the love of all that is holy, if the writers make Tara the vampire as whiny as Tara the human I will stake the writers and Tara myself. The writers have a wonderful opportunity to pair up Pam and Tara to do some real damage as the evil vampire sisters. I love the Jessica/Newlin exchanges. I cracked up when Lafayette and Sookie tried to get a bottle of True Blood to Tara. And will Gran’s house ever be free of destruction? Loved the VA and their rituals, torture method and the building compound. Loved the Pam and Eric flashback. Loved Emma as a wolf pup. But honestly, I could do without the werewolf, fairy, witches, Terry/Arlene/Andy sub plots. But keep Alcide!

I think the thing that annoys me most about Tara right now is that she still has her human emotion and is actually pissed at La and Sookie for “turning her”. Seriously? I dont’ believe it one bit. Seems like all other vamps seem to embrace it and love the power, but here we have Tara ticked off about it.

The episode kind of dragged for me. I really wanted to see Tara’s story move forward way more than it did this episode. Game Of Thrones seems to handle tons of story lines at once but you can hardly tell. The writers for True Blood need to figure out how to do it too. I loved the adorable Emma wolf pup. So cute! The Newlin and Jessica scenes were super funny. I’ve got to say that I like Chris Meloni as Roman. He definitely gives off an “Authority” vibe. Do I still think Stabler when i see him? Yes, but thats just because he played that character for so long. The fight scene between Sam and Luna was well acted. But it felt a little off considering he just got himself tortured to protect her and her daughter. Lafayette and his facial expressions are a crack up. Nelsan Ellis plays that character so well. I’m a bit disappointed by the Pam flashback. For some reason it reminded me of the Darla flashbacks from Angel (Buffy) with the whole former prostitute, i’m no lady dialogue. It’s just been done before. Andy telling Jason if he has sex with Holly he was going to lock him up was hilarious and Hoyt’s mom always has some of the funniest lines in the show. I’m excited about Tara’s stoyline next week, on the preview we see her attacking a former co-worker and we finally meet Claude (p.s. he looks nothing like he was described in the book which is very disappointing). True Blood needs to take a page from the Vampire Diaries playbook when it comes to moving a story along. That show is quick yet still jam packed and well written.

IMO they separate the characters too much! You go from watching one story to the next right to another too fast. Some of the characters don’t even have scenes with the others anymore so its almost as if they don’t know one another. Ex: when was the last time Sookie had a scene with Sam? or he had one with the vampires? …. or they all were at his bar Merlottes or Eric’s club Fangtasia? They all just have their own little things going on and then maybe in the finales they see each other. These writers need to get back to S1 where all the characters interacted more. jmo. I mean triangle aside Sookie hasn’t even had a freakin scene with Eric/Bill yet how pathetic. I still love the show but this bugs the crap out of me and the too many characters as well

“You never said why you think he’s out of place. You just said he was. So why? That’s a valid question.
Comment by TJ”

There isn’t a reply button on this comment so I’m replying this way. Since when does someone have to justify their opinion to you or anybody else? The poster said he didn’t think Meloni was a good fit and he is entitled to his opinion. Get a grip. Not everybody thinks Meloni is great in this particular role.

Thank you Sarah! I think the people who comment wanting an “explanation” about why they feel Chris isn’t a good fit, are obviously the ones who think he is. We can agree to disagree, it’s a message board afterward…don’t take everything so seriously because someone doesn’t agree with you. And before you “jump” on me. I love Meloni…just not in this role.

I find it kind of funny that people are saying the stories are moving too slowly. It’s episode 2 folks, and we’ve already had more ACTUAL plot development than most shows have in 5. We got the vampire creation myth. We got interrogation and hints at a religious zealot group (sanguinistas). We got movement on Terry’s story, without weeks of furtive glances and movements, Arlene went right to the source. We are getting backstory for Pam. How fast do you all want them to go? Complaints in previous seasons were that there wasn’t enough plot development, that everything went way too fast! Can’t have it both ways folks.

Stabler still looks and acts like Stabler. They should have given him a different look (besides the suit). I like the Dieter character and am glad his TB vampire is way more interesting than his Twilight vampire (Marcus). Guy must like playing vampires. I hate Salome, the other Authority chick and the child-looking vamp. Luna screwed up big time. She had a chance to smooth things with the weres by showing kindness toward Martha (as a mother she should have been able to relate on some level), but blew it. Now her daughter’s one of them and she’s screwed. I hope Sam doesn’t take her back since she treated him so badly too. I absolutely hate Tara and wish they’d have let her die. I was cheering for Lafayette to stake her, but Sookie ruined that. Now it seems we’re stuck with her. I hope she and Pam have some adventures together. That could be fun. Jessica was good toying with the Rev, but this frat/sorority house crap has to end. I hope it did when she threw them all out. I’d like to know who “made” Newlin and who dug up Russell and who’s feeding him. All good things to those who wait, I guess.

Thank you, Kendall. His Guardian had stereotypical Stabler bad cop written all over him. The arrogance was toned up a bit, but basically it was the same kind of thing Stabler did. I’m not saying the character is completely the same, but the little piece of him we saw last night had a very strong resemblance (minus the crazy Old Old Testament psych talk) to typical Stabler. Let’s see how this character develops over time.

I agree there are way too many story lines going on. Which takes away screen time from the main people. The terry/Arlene/patrick story, Hoyt/Jason feud, Andy/holly, definitely need to go. The Sam/Luna story, alcids/wolfpack and Jessica story line need to figure out where there going and fast! Tara/Sookie/lafayette Im interested in only because it involves Pam, who I love! But the main story this season is bill/Eric/authority/Russell. Allan ball even said that this was the season of the bromance!

Another incredible episode of True Blood. Glad to see that Tara is all, “kill, kill and no talk”. Loved Chris Meloni, he is sex on a stick and I thought his character really showed range from what he’s done before. I laughed out loud at Jessica and Steve’s hair pullin’ brawl and laughed even harder at how scared Sookie and Lafayette were of Tara. I anxiously await next week’s episode. Thank you TRUE BLOOD creators, writers and powers-that-be for top notch fun.

I think you may be right too. Supposedly weres only first change at puberty and Emma is not near that age. But we saw Sam as a beagle puppy in childhood flashbacks, so apparently shifters can change earlier. Who knows? She may have been watching Eight Below right before she changed! :-)

I don’t see Chris Meloni as Stabler, I am still stuck on Chris Keller from OZ. He was great in that role and while I didn’t get the same feeling with him as a vamp, I am willing to give it a few more episodes. He didn’t grow on me the first eppy of OZ either. He is a fantastic actor so I think he can sink his teeth into this role too!

This made no sense to me either. I don’t know where that accusation came from. If the Authority had done any homework at all, they would know about Bill’s relationship with Sookie, perhaps even the marriage proposal, and her brief affair with Eric. They really should also have been able to figure out Eric and Nora’s connection with a little bit of research. It seems the Authority’s modus operadi is busting skulls and asking questions later.

Enjoying reading these after the episodes – no pressure folks, but I’m basing all your views on whether I watch series 5 or not!

So far it sounds like they haven’t learned from the past problems of too many sub plots.
That was my second biggest complaint, after Tara.
I agree with the person who previously said that by bottling from killing her off they effectively showed viewers that all the main cast are safe.
Besides, how can you be turned after your brains get blown out?

you know the whole wolf pack sub plot for emma could have been resolved if one of them had said Alcide (the one wolf on their side and helped kill her psycho daddy) could teach her the ways of being wolf. I think that would have been easier

Glad I checked here to see if I was going to watch this episode or not. It’s convinced me not to. I hated the first episode of this season. Just a continuance of too many subplots and characters that don’t connect to a larger story or theme. It’s just irritating to watch. Maybe I’ll tune back in when I hear that Sookie, Bill and Eric are having scenes together again. But this just seems like an incoherent mess (which is what the first episode seems to have introduced). The main story should be about the Vampire Authority. All other subplots should connect in some way to that. If it doesn’t further the story, then CUT it.

One thing that confuses me: Where do vampires come from originally? If they were created before man and man was created as food, then why can they turn humans into vampires? Species don’t change into other species. And since most current vampires used to be humans and even have human descendents/relatives, then how can the sanguinistas justify their position? Weren’t they human once?

I can agree that they can cut on the time that Terry/Arlene/Andy/Holly get but Jason and Hoyt? really? No. Jason imo is a main character and I also actually like Hoyt and that involves Jason so I want to see that. I can’t wait to see goth looking Hoyt and what that is all about. Also Sam should still have major sl as well but a good one but since they keep adding more and more characters these actors/characters are barely seen or getting crap

It’s not the characters that are the problem per se, it’s their storylines and how they don’t connect to anything. It’s okay to have a large cast as long as their stories connect to a larger purpose. Right now it just feels like a bunch of disconnected subplots.

Seriously disappointed in the new season’s show with 2 shows down. The new season is so fragmented that you can’t follow it, it didn’t really start where the last season ended. Hope it gets better or I will be canceling HBO. The main characters aren’t even cohesive enough to figure out whats going on. Very disappointing.Agree to many sub plots!! As for Meloni – new character loved him on Law and Order – So not a Vampire he makes!!! Out of place in TruBlood. Put him in a cop show – Mariska could do a better job as a vampire.

I so agree with you on this. Why all the hate towards chris. I thought he did a killer job as Roman. Love him glad to see him in a new role. It is true everybody has a right to their opinion, but in my opinion I saw not one sign of stabler in his performance, he knock it out of the park! I think for some people who are hating on him, have not sceen his work in Oz. He did that show before SVU and on OZ he played a much darker I mean much more evil character than Roman. If saw him on OZ you would see what a good actor he is. He gave me all kind of emotions in this role, he sexy, scarry at the same time, everything a vampire should be. I would love for Roman to be my maker. Looking forward to seeing more of him, and Roman rocks!! so give him a change in the end you might see how good he is.

I’m quite sure the Terry/Arlene/Patrick story will be ridiculous in the end (writers), although I’m enjoying cray cray Terry and for some reason, Arlene as well. Maybe cause she is forced to be the less crazy one this season.

Meloni was very good, in fact every vampire we saw lived up to or exceeded expectations, except Tara. I mean, the kid outperformed her. That line at the end about how she’ll never forgive them, so anti-climatic.

Chris meloni rock as roman!!! I loved him in this role. He was sexy and bad at the same time. He fits in well in this role and I am very happy to see him on this show. The only thing I didn’t like is that there was not enough of Roman, I want to see more of him. He is a good actor and am glad to see him in a fresh new role. You rock Chris.