THE TIME MY DORM TOILET EXPLODED AND IT WAS A LITTLE BIT MY FAULT

It was freshman year and I was living in a dorm with a girl who, I won't get into it right now, but just know we weren't friends

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During the time of the incident it was the first week of us coming back from winter break

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Our dorm had its own bathroom in it, which was nice

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My ex-roommate and I were both sitting silently in our individual beds, as per usual, and I got up to go to the bathroom

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I sat down on the toilet and I peed

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~only~ peed

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The peeing ended, I was feelin good, I hit the handle to flush

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I was watching the toilet flush and I could tell that something was going wrong. Like water was rushing into it and it was filling up, acting as if it were clogged. "How could it be clogged?" I thought "I only peed."

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I don't know why but I'm not very confident in my ability to use a plunger, so I didn't use ours even though it was sitting right next to the toilet

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I decided to just flush again

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Big mistake. Huge.

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Water started to SHOOT out of the toilet and onto the floor. Not leak, not pour, I'm talking straight up shooting out of that mf. Like this water was getting some air

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I was staring at the toilet fountain I had going on in front of my face and, I'm not gonna lie to you, I was panicked

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I ran out of the bathroom and looked at Ex Roommate and said "The toilet is fucking exploding!"

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Water is now quickly flooding out of the bathroom and into our closet area and Ex Roommate jumped up and started throwing all her stuff onto her bed so it wouldn't get wet, and you can just tell she's very annoyed by this whole thing

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And I just started copying what she was doing instead of addressing the problem, which was that I was standing in toilet water

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Eventually I came to my senses and I had to run up to the 4th floor of the building and get a CA (called RA in some other colleges)

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Turns out our pipes froze overnight or something and our water pressure was turned all the way up. A recipe for disaster

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The water flooded our entire dorm room and some of the hallway, as well as leaking to the second AND first floors of the building 🙂

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After the incident, Ex roommate and I went back to not talking to each other ever

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I didn't have to pay for any of the damage

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Everyone who knows of the incident is still deeply convinced it was because I took a huge shit

Can't blame 'em

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Here's a pic of me playing in the hallway toilet puddle that I indirectly caused