Send it back. China has forced thousands
of North Korean refugees to return to their impoverished
homeland or hideout in mountains to escape capture by police. China
has been supporting the North Korean government (also Communist) to keep
it in power and to prevent the torrents of refugees who will likely show
up at already-overpopulated China’s doorstep if Pyonyang topples.
China considers the North Koreans “economic migrants” who
have no legal reason to remain in the country. Human rights groups call
them “refugees,” and claim those sent back to North Korea
face imprisonment, torture and possible death.

And there’s your pick-me-up from the Weekly Rundown.
We’re like soothing FM radio around here.

National:

It’s still legal. Wednesday marked
the 30th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The resulting opinion made abortion
legal throughout the land and created a political litmus test of “pro-life”
or “pro-choice” in the decades that followed. This year, pro-choice
activists rallied
with greater urgency than usual, feeling that a Republican White House
and Congress will toughen abortion laws. Six Democratic presidential hopefuls
publicly stated their support of what Richard Gephardt, once an ardent
pro-lifer, termed a “question of choice.”

Keeping in touch with the homeland: Former
Pennsylvania Governor Tom Ridge was unanimously
approved by the U.S. Senate on Wednesday as head of the new Department
of Homeland Security. The Senate voted 94-0 to approve Ridge for the
job, which entails leading the nation’s big bureaucracy: 170,000
government employees working for 22 separate agencies. Good thing we’ve
got that color-coded system going to keep everything straight; the department
doesn’t even have its own office yet. We guessing that puts us at
Alert: Teal.

Business:

You want profits with that? McDonald’s
posted its
first-ever quarterly loss Thursday, saying $203.4 million went missing
in the deep fryer. Revenue was up in the fourth quarter of 2002 (October-December),
but the expenses related to closing 719 underperforming restaurants soured
the bottom line. Residents of McDonaldland will be evicted at hundreds
more stores in 2003, the company said. (Mayor McCheese was not available
for comment.)

In happier news, a federal
judge tossed out a lawsuit Wednesday accusing McDonald’s of
causing obesity in teens. The judge pointed out that there are other places
to eat besides McDonald’s, which, if you live in the nation’s
suburbs, is a point you might debate. The teens now plan on hitting IHOP
for the Never Ending Pancake deal. Careful of that bottomless cup of coffee;
it could be hot.

Elsewhere:

Praise the voters! Rev. Al Sharpton
– who, as Saturday Night Live’s Tina Fey constantly points
out, has never held an actual job -- filed his intention
to run for president on Tuesday. Sharpton has run for office three
times in New York (once for mayor and twice for the Senate) and couldn’t
even win the primary. The AP reported that Sharpton planned to “bring
the party back to its liberal roots.” Sharpton’s Harlem headquarters
caught fire on Wednesday. Seeking to soften his image for voters,
Sharpton did not blame the fire on white people. (It was electrical, actually.
But we think the wires might have been white.)

No, she did not choke on a ham sandwich:
Nell Carter, star of Broadway and the 1980s sitcom Gimme
a Break died Thursday
at the age of 54. Carter won a Tony in 1978 for her performance in
Ain’t Misbehavin’. Lowpoints of Carter’s life include,
at age 2, witnessing the death of her father when he stepped on a live
power line.