On Sunday night the Hollywood Nerd Herd will venture out from their gilded perches and palaces. The Hollywood Nerd Herd will pass through the streets of the unwashed masses, warily stopping to modestly pose for photographers, while they humbly and reluctantly accept the clapping and cheering of their peasant fans who like most peasants (the same peasants who finance these lavish lifestyles by purchasing movie tickets and paying each month for cable tv) simply want a glimpse or nod of acknowledgement from these exclusive idols. These Superstars of The Hollywood Nerd Herd are role models, they are pillars of stability, who are possessed with grace, and shining examples of moral purity and obvious superiority.

For one brief shining moment this evening the Hollywood Nerd Herd will cease lecturing us peasants about imaginary global warming, about paying our (but not their) fair share of taxes, about turning in our (but not their) guns (doesn’t Brangelina and others have armed security?). Instead of their usual soapbox lectures they will gather in an orgy of self congratulation. Tonights bacchanal ritual of praise and adulation will climax and hit the high spot by winning the ultimate coveted graven image – The Oscar.

Obviously our nomination notification for the critically acclaimed motion picture: American Grizzlies United Presents; The Hollywood Nerd Herd was lost in the mail by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the beyond efficient and very strong work ethic management of The United States Postal Service.

To level the playing field and make sure that everyone gets their fair share, American Grizzlies United would like to propose some new categories to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

For starters we propose that the art form of political theater should not be discriminated against. Discrimination is wrong.

Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and San Fran Nan‘sMini-me Debbie Wasserman Schultz all gave very convincing performances last year. (Remember, according to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences rules, in order to qualify for the coveted graven image the performace must have occured before December 31, 2012).

Nominee (And Winner By Default): Barack Hussein Obama (President Obama’s deception skills for this #NewOscarCategories are so incredibly superior that we feel it would be unfair to add any other nominees – it might hurt their feelings)

Perhaps some of you have some #NewOscarCategories of your own. Feel free to share them on Twitter and with your friends.

The Hollywood Nerd Herd has a basic comtempt for the American people. The same American people who buy tickets to their movies, and pay monthly cable bills to watch them on tv. By buying these tickets and paying these monthly cable bills we give them the position to continually lecture us on how things out to be. The Hollywood Nerd Herds hollow, utopian, and increasingly authoritative rhetoric can and should be challenged. But it is up to us.

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c4pfan

Well, I don’t watch any of it. I guess I would do #TheMostShallow, but just about every celeb would win that category.
What the conservative sites should do is take the pics of the vultures getting their free swag and plastering it all over the place!

Even the Golden Globe awards dicing Gov. Palin was preferable, in my opinion, than having Michelle Obama show up (by video) to present the Best Picture award. Is there any difference between Hollywood and Obama? They’re are all make believe! Super Yoni

MaMcGriz

Great post, Thomas. Dear boy you have marvelous wits and you keep them well sharpened.