In a move that obviously has nothing to do with brother Michael's $2 billion estate, no, nothing whatsoever, LaToya Jackson has swooped in on miniature heirs Prince, Paris and Blanket Jackson and taken them under her wing. By which I mean she signed them to her talent agency, Ja-Tail Enterprises—which has no other clients—and is currently pitching the kids all around Hollywood at a 15% commission rate.

The get-togethers included "lots of ice cream and cookies," said a family insider.

"They needed comfort with everyone showing their wild side, so they watched television together, they listened to music and they talked about what Mike would want. Mostly, it was Toya doing all the talking."

"She told them how she knew [Michael] better than anybody else, and she knew he'd want them to follow their dreams; and because they were his children, they could be media and entertainment moguls.

"She had a blueprint. She sold it, and they bought it."

Oh, and if that wasn't seedy enough, she's negotiating a reality show deal for the family. OWN, the current frontrunner, is thought to have offered somewhere around $10 million. [Bossip, Page Six]

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Meanwhile, a "smoking gun" email from a concert promoter will be used as proof that Conrad Murray pushed Michael Jackson into rehearsals for This Is It despite his poor health.

A cornerstone of the Jacksons' case is an e-mail AEG Live Co-CEO Paul Gongaware wrote 11 days before Jackson's June 25, 2009, death. The e-mail to show director Kenny Ortega addressed concerns that Murray had kept Jackson from a rehearsal the day before: "We want to remind (Murray) that it is AEG, not MJ, who is paying his salary. We want to remind him what is expected of him."

Heidi Klum has made a last-minute deal to join the judges panel on Season 8 of America's Got Talent, planning to join up with the others—Howard Stern, Howie Mandel and Mel B—during the first round of auditions in New Orleans today. She told People: "I've always wanted to work with Howard Stern. I think he's so funny, charming, handsome and smart. And, yes, he did tell me to say this." [Us Weekly, People]

">It's pretty well-known that Tom Cruise considered joining the priesthood when he was a teenager, but it's been revealed that he actually got kicked out of the seminary of St. Francis for stealing booze from his Franciscan teachers. A friend snuck into the room with the liquor and threw it down to Cruise, who waited by the window. A bright idea: "I tossed about six. Most broke."

Hilariously, even before this incident, none of the priests thought he was too special: Teachers describe him as a mediocre student. "The [IQ cutoff] is 110, and he scored exactly 110," "He was very unremarkable. You would never have thought he'd make it, although he did have a really neat smile." [NYDN]

One Direction Pop Tart Louis Tomlinson, one of the One Direction Band Members Who Are Not Harry Styles, installed a panic room in his £2.5million Hertfordshire property on behalf of his girlfriend Eleanor Calder, who had been receiving death threats from fans. Other than that, all you really need to know about this guy is that he has a tattoo of a teacup. And, scene. [Digital Spy]

In which Allison Williams contemplates the gazelles and the lions and the warthog carcasses of Hollywood:

When Mean Girls came out, I just thought Lindsay Lohan was genius. I didn't understand how I could ever come close to that if they didn't let me start young. I've come to realize it's not a zero-sum game. When I see performances like Jennifer Lawrence's in Silver Linings Playbook, I think, 'God, what a great role.' But maybe, just maybe, she watches Girls and maybe, just maybe, she wishes she was on Girls.