Coming Out Atheist - Atheist Nexus2017-08-18T05:43:31Zhttp://atheistnexus.org/forum/categories/coming-out-atheist/listForCategory?categoryId=2182797%3ACategory%3A59355&feed=yes&xn_auth=noShould I come out to my girlfriend as a nonbeliever?tag:atheistnexus.org,2016-06-25:2182797:Topic:26936972016-06-25T00:41:07.194Z3eskfgztj9bmdhttp://atheistnexus.org/xn/detail/u_3eskfgztj9bmd
So I have had doubts with my faith for the longest time. In fact, there is a big chance that I will never be a Christian again, because of all the loopholes, lies and justifications that I have to go through just to be a Christian. But my girlfriend doesn't know much about the bible and is a modest believer. She doesn't really try to force it on anyone and she is going to a Christian apologist camp for a week so she could learn about the bible. Only problem is that I don't know what BS that…
So I have had doubts with my faith for the longest time. In fact, there is a big chance that I will never be a Christian again, because of all the loopholes, lies and justifications that I have to go through just to be a Christian. But my girlfriend doesn't know much about the bible and is a modest believer. She doesn't really try to force it on anyone and she is going to a Christian apologist camp for a week so she could learn about the bible. Only problem is that I don't know what BS that they are going to tell her. When she comes back, should I tell her that I am a nonbeliever and give her the Skeptic's Annotaded Bible? I'm NOT trying to force her to be an atheist, I just want her to look at the bible with open eyes. Am I the only person who felt weird coming out as an nontheist?tag:atheistnexus.org,2016-06-04:2182797:Topic:26894852016-06-04T15:43:29.230ZAllie Mayhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/AllieMayJohnson
<p>Hey! I was just thinking about some other posts and I started to wonder how others felt about coming out as a nontheist? For me, I was always worried about judgement through elementary and middle school. I got really worried one day when I overheard a friend of mine in my 4th grade class say that her parents said that anyone who doesn't believe in god goes to hell.... Now, I didn't believe in hell at the time and I still don't, but since she believed it, it kinda felt like a punch in the…</p>
<p>Hey! I was just thinking about some other posts and I started to wonder how others felt about coming out as a nontheist? For me, I was always worried about judgement through elementary and middle school. I got really worried one day when I overheard a friend of mine in my 4th grade class say that her parents said that anyone who doesn't believe in god goes to hell.... Now, I didn't believe in hell at the time and I still don't, but since she believed it, it kinda felt like a punch in the gut. I told myself that I wouldn't tell anyone and I would remain quite and just say that my family never had time for church as an explanation for why I didn't know much about it.... Eventually, in 7th grade, I admitted I was atheist.... My social studies teacher was doing a unit on religion (not preaching it by the way!) and we were supposed to choose a religion and write a paper and make a presentation about it. I asked if I could do atheism to show that not all people are religious and he said yes. Then, me and another classmate sort of partnered up in our presentation to compare religion vs. nonreligion. In the presentation I was soooooo nervous! But I got a few positive and a few negative remarks. Now, as a senior in high school, most people know I'm not religious and usually respect that, however much they disagree... But most of the other people I know who are agnostic, or atheist, or nontheist in another way didn't grow up with those beliefs and only recently switched when they were in high school. So, I'm asking if anyone else has any stories to add... positive or not. Maybe even give advice to those who haven't told their families and friends yet?</p> Came Outtag:atheistnexus.org,2015-11-18:2182797:Topic:26562622015-11-18T09:56:51.675ZKaren C.http://atheistnexus.org/profile/KarenCapco
<p>Not sure if this is the correct section to post this, but I just really need to share this.</p>
<p>I "came out" yesterday in the office for the first time since realizing that I no longer held the beliefs that I used to have. Considering that I live in the Philippines, I've ensured that only close friends and my husband know about it as a lot of people here react to any admittance to Atheism the way they would to someone admitting they had once committed a heinous crime--admonition, censure,…</p>
<p>Not sure if this is the correct section to post this, but I just really need to share this.</p>
<p>I "came out" yesterday in the office for the first time since realizing that I no longer held the beliefs that I used to have. Considering that I live in the Philippines, I've ensured that only close friends and my husband know about it as a lot of people here react to any admittance to Atheism the way they would to someone admitting they had once committed a heinous crime--admonition, censure, and a guaranteed future of suspicion and wariness of all your actions and words.</p>
<p>But I had to yesterday, since someone had opened up a discussion to which I added my thoughts. I was asked, "Are you an Atheist?" I was surrounded by people who I knew to be extremely religious and at first I said, "That's really beside the point." But then, I thought to myself, so what? So what if I am? I've always made it a point to be honest so why do I hesitate with something as simple as this? So I said, "If we really have to label it then I'm an agnostic non-theist. But even if I weren't, that wouldn't change the facts I presented." And I felt so nervous after--and I wasn't even sure why. Was it that I cared what they would think of me? I realized only after that it wasn't that. Just that, It was my first time standing up for the questions I've had since the 3rd grade, which no Catholic then and now had been able to answer properly or with coherence (conviction, sure). God, I was nervous.</p>
<p>No one said anything. Thinking that they were cool, I told them after that admitting it for the first time to them had made me nervous--the most religious of them had to say something like, "Well, it's every individual's personal responsibility how their soul is saved anyway." Which I took to mean, "You're going to hell, but that's your problem, not mine."</p>
<p>I was less nervous after hearing that. Oh well.</p> An 18 year old soon-to-be ex-mormon's letter. NSFW.tag:atheistnexus.org,2015-11-14:2182797:Topic:26556492015-11-14T21:14:49.949ZDaniel Whttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/Daniel57
<p>I wish I was this enlightened as an 18 year old. Although I was Baptist and not Mormon.</p>
<p>Don't play loud at work. Lots of F-bombs. Awesome letter!</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cCUNsVRuzFc?wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" height="363" width="647"></iframe>
Via the friendly atheist on Patheos.</p>
<p>I wish I was this enlightened as an 18 year old. Although I was Baptist and not Mormon.</p>
<p>Don't play loud at work. Lots of F-bombs. Awesome letter!</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cCUNsVRuzFc?wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" height="363" width="647"></iframe>
Via the friendly atheist on Patheos.</p> So many issues with coming out....tag:atheistnexus.org,2015-02-01:2182797:Topic:25517002015-02-01T05:48:59.290ZZoie Raynehttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/CarrieByers
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<p>Ugh, I have the tendency to write a book when I type, so I am really going to try to restrain myself. In fact, I just cut everything I originally wrote in here and put it in a new discussion for me to post in another section more appropriate, the about me one. So starting over!</p>
<p>I have some problems/questions/concerns with completely coming out. I have so many struggles with it that I think it was easier for my gay cousin to come out then it is myself.</p>
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<p>1. I don't…</p>
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<p>Ugh, I have the tendency to write a book when I type, so I am really going to try to restrain myself. In fact, I just cut everything I originally wrote in here and put it in a new discussion for me to post in another section more appropriate, the about me one. So starting over!</p>
<p>I have some problems/questions/concerns with completely coming out. I have so many struggles with it that I think it was easier for my gay cousin to come out then it is myself.</p>
<p></p>
<p>1. I don't want to break my mothers heart, or kill her! I remember one time saying something, I have no idea what, in regards to having doubts and basically asked how could I say such a thing and where did she go wrong with me. I know my mother, she will completely look at it like she did something wrong and now I am going to burn forever. But I also don't want to...</p>
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<p>2. Lie or pretend. I have pretended to be a Christian for far to long, I can't do it. I did agnostic for awhile, because I really didn't know how I felt. Then I heard a comedian say that agnostics were cowardly atheist. And that statement felt true.</p>
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<p>3. I don't know what to do when people pray around me. I am an introvert, I do not like confrontation, I hate the possibility of hurting or disrespecting someone. So up until now, if I am with someone that requests we say grace before a meal I will grab a hand, bow my head and keep my mouth shut. But I have a son now, a toddler. I absolutely do not want him saying grace or praying or any of that, but I also don't want him to see Mommy arguing with people over it either. Especially since some people can get worked up, saying that they will pray for you and whatnot.</p>
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<p>4. Especially now that I have a son, I miss church. Like I said, I am a crazy introvert. I am to old to make friends just by running into people on the street. And I moved to many times to have any friends before this point. Church provides a sense of community, and family friendly activities that are usually free. What can we do besides church but it like church?</p>
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<p>5. Like I said, I was raised to believe. I really have to stop myself from saying things like, 'I'll pray for you" or 'prayers please' when the little one is sick. But I'm doing ok. Any tips or tricks? Also, I have a christmas tree. I'm not taking that away from my boy and it has nothing to do with christianity anymore anyway...but what do I say to those people. You know the ones, the assholes who want to challenge your beliefs and question your sanity in front of your child?</p>
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<p>Oh gee, think that is it for now. Thanks.</p>
<p></p> Weddings with Christian Familytag:atheistnexus.org,2014-11-11:2182797:Topic:25044952014-11-11T03:02:35.444ZGeorge Kittrellhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GeorgeKittrell
<p>So I've been to a few weddings the past year and one thing I've noticed is how deeply religious the ceremony is. For one wedding it made sense, the father of the bride is a pastor, the bride and her siblings went to christian school. They were a very religious family and the wedding reflected that (no alcohol. ouch). The other weddings were with more mainstream families. I knew the bride and groom were religious from past conversations but it was never a common talking point. They didn't go…</p>
<p>So I've been to a few weddings the past year and one thing I've noticed is how deeply religious the ceremony is. For one wedding it made sense, the father of the bride is a pastor, the bride and her siblings went to christian school. They were a very religious family and the wedding reflected that (no alcohol. ouch). The other weddings were with more mainstream families. I knew the bride and groom were religious from past conversations but it was never a common talking point. They didn't go to church 3 times a week, no jesus necklace, no bible quotes on facebook, they just went to church on sunday every once in awhile. Still, the ceremony was all about Jesus, God and blah blah blah. There was a pastor practically doing a sermon, a couple of prayers including a "guest prayer". It was clear that these were christian marriages. It seemed more like they were marrying god! <br/><br/>I'm 22, single and nowhere close to getting married but it got me thinking. I'm atheist (obviously, I'm on this site!) but my family is christian. Oh, and I live in the deep south/bible belt. My grandparents and extended family are very religious. Parents not so much but still religious. My friends who I witnessed getting married were no more religious than my family. It's the same go to church every once in awhile and never preach about it. But with the very religious ceremonies I saw it got me wondering what it's gonna be like when the time finally comes for me to get married. Basically all of my family will expect a religious ceremony. My grandma even expressed disbelief one time that some don't even get married in a church! I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation. I get that it'll be my wedding and my choice but pissing off 90% of the family isn't exactly a great thing to do. Of course, things could get decided for me if I marry a religious bride but that's another issue. Maybe secular weddings in the south are more common than I think. Just want to hear others' opinions who have been in similar situations. </p> Dealing with the stigma.tag:atheistnexus.org,2014-11-08:2182797:Topic:25031092014-11-08T03:37:36.555ZDonald Allen Sauls IIhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/DonaldAllenSaulsII
<p>I am not what some would call a "Militant Atheist". Having shared that, I must admit that sometimes I find it quite difficult to deal with the shock and disapproval I face when my peers ask me about religious matters and I tell them that I do not accept religion. They do not even wait to hear my reasoning before they begin to condemn my "beliefs". Ever since I have moved back to the "Bible Belt" I have found that nobody will even allow me to speak my mind. Instead, they simply stare at me…</p>
<p>I am not what some would call a "Militant Atheist". Having shared that, I must admit that sometimes I find it quite difficult to deal with the shock and disapproval I face when my peers ask me about religious matters and I tell them that I do not accept religion. They do not even wait to hear my reasoning before they begin to condemn my "beliefs". Ever since I have moved back to the "Bible Belt" I have found that nobody will even allow me to speak my mind. Instead, they simply stare at me and tell me why I am wrong. There is no room for reasoned debate. <br/><br/>How does anybody handle the stigma attached to the title "Atheist"? I feel as though I am alienating friends and relatives by being open and honest about who I am. Any advice is welcome. </p> Can you stay in the closet forever?tag:atheistnexus.org,2014-08-01:2182797:Topic:24537842014-08-01T20:27:05.158ZRRRhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/RRR
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<p>I'm the kind of person who hate pretending even if i tried to pretend i fail miserably xD</p>
<p>So being an atheist living in a religious society is hard for me</p>
<p>I can't just come out of the closet there gonna be some consequences </p>
<p>People will judge me and stop talking to me, my family would be ashamed and they will live in shame because of me</p>
<p>And it is a strict Islamic country.. You figure out what might happen. </p>
<p>So I cant let people…</p>
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<p>I'm the kind of person who hate pretending even if i tried to pretend i fail miserably xD</p>
<p>So being an atheist living in a religious society is hard for me</p>
<p>I can't just come out of the closet there gonna be some consequences </p>
<p>People will judge me and stop talking to me, my family would be ashamed and they will live in shame because of me</p>
<p>And it is a strict Islamic country.. You figure out what might happen. </p>
<p>So I cant let people know</p>
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<p>Luckily my family is not so religious</p>
<p>But still atheism is not acceptable </p>
<p>A brother and sister know about me not because i told them but because i made it obvious </p>
<p>They don't accept it but they can't say a thing</p>
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<p>Anyway... Do you think it is going to be possible to live like this forever ? </p>
<p>Pretending I'm one of them around them? </p>
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<p>I had a chance to go to the US.. I was planning to do my best to stay there and leave my country but I couldn't.. Because females can't go out of the country without a relative male</p>
<p>Which made me sad not only because i couldn't leave but also i couldn't continue my studying T_T</p>
<p></p> Annual visit with the BA in-lawstag:atheistnexus.org,2014-07-08:2182797:Topic:24438492014-07-08T01:47:02.549ZChristinehttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/Christine632
<p>Every summer, we visit my husband's family down south. While at lunch with my MIL and SILs on Friday, the topic of religion came up (surprise surprise.) My MIL said that she was soooo upset when I told her about her favorite charity’s CEO committing suicide over allegations that he did stuff with a little girl.</p>
<p>SIL 1 said, “We still give, you can’t go by what one person did,” and my MIL said “I did more investigations and even wrote to them- I gave them a huge chunk of the money I…</p>
<p>Every summer, we visit my husband's family down south. While at lunch with my MIL and SILs on Friday, the topic of religion came up (surprise surprise.) My MIL said that she was soooo upset when I told her about her favorite charity’s CEO committing suicide over allegations that he did stuff with a little girl.</p>
<p>SIL 1 said, “We still give, you can’t go by what one person did,” and my MIL said “I did more investigations and even wrote to them- I gave them a huge chunk of the money I inherited from mom- and they never responded!” I was secretly proud of her for going even further and asking questions- devout religious people usually don’t.</p>
<p>I told them how disgusted I am with the Catholic church, and how I can’t even tell my Irish family how I feel, it’s such a part of the culture, but someday I will. MIL was like, “OH so you understand how we feel!” and I said sure, I can appreciate that Born Agains are about prayer outside of a church, and that it’s a more personal thing. Of course they all seemed encouraged by that, thinking I was considering it.</p>
<p>MIL went into her spiel about how all you have to do is accept Jesus by saying blahblahblah and that’s your ticket in. I explained that really I want to just do good things, and she said “The bible says that good deeds….” And I finished her sentence, “Like dirty rags, I know, but…..too bad!” How silly that all the good deeds in the world don’t get you into heaven unless you say the magic words.</p>
<p>Explained that there’s a church in my area that’s really nice, and I’d love to go in and get to know my community and help people out, but it’s catholic. SIL 2 said, “There are many paths to God, if you want to get to Him you just choose the right one.”</p>
<p>I said “Yeah, but my goal isn’t God. My goal is to do good deeds, and there’s this middleman in the way. Religion gets in the way of my good deeds. I can’t go into that church with the pretense of belief, I just don’t believe! Do you know how HARD it is to come down south and say that!”</p>
<p>SIL 1 patted my leg and said, “We love you anyway,” but I didn’t sound condescending the way it would if MIL had said it. So it’s a big relief to get that off my chest.</p>
<p>But yesterday, everybody had to be ready to leave for church early in the morning. Which my husband and I knew we’d be skipping. I noticed him and his mom talking intensely in the guest room that morning, and I asked him last night what that was about. “OH, the usual, she’s trying to get me to go to church, and I told her no way, it’s a bunch of gossipy hypocrites and I want no part of it."</p>
<p>I was like, "Tell her that atheists don't GO to church and leave it at that." He replied, "It doesn't work. She’s been trying to do this for 20 years, and she wonders why I don’t visit more often!”</p>
<p>So we spent the morning with his dad (who seems less intent on church-going), did some shopping and errands, and it was great. He just seems to go along with the whole religion thing to keep the peace, so my husband thinks.</p>
<p>I'd love to have a discussion about religion with him, though he's getting up there and he tends to dominate any conversation. Hoping someday to at least breach (sp?) the topic with him, I'm told he's got a copy of the Koran in his library......</p> Mostly out of the closettag:atheistnexus.org,2014-05-23:2182797:Topic:24273252014-05-23T20:44:10.467ZD Craig Depewhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/DCraigDepew
<p>I was raised Mormon. That's a religion that dictates just about every aspect of the followers' lives. Most of my social life was constructed around the church. I still have a lot of friends there and went to the activities for the college students. I assume they all noticed that I don't go to church anymore, but they never brought it up. I was president of the SSA this spring and I'm pretty sure they had no idea. I don't want to stop hanging out with the Mormon student group because the…</p>
<p>I was raised Mormon. That's a religion that dictates just about every aspect of the followers' lives. Most of my social life was constructed around the church. I still have a lot of friends there and went to the activities for the college students. I assume they all noticed that I don't go to church anymore, but they never brought it up. I was president of the SSA this spring and I'm pretty sure they had no idea. I don't want to stop hanging out with the Mormon student group because the couple in charge has helped me out a lot this semester. They're good friends regardless of the religion. I'm still scared to come out to them, even though I was completely comfortable representing the SSA to school officials and campus ministers. That might be because my church friends have known me as a faithful Mormon for years and everyone else is meeting me for the first time. It's as scary to come out to them as it was to my parents.</p>
<p>Has anyone else tried to be an active advocate of atheism and remain at least friendly with their religious community at the same time? It's a strange situation to be in</p>