A year in France

Learning French

I’ll be taking them three times each week, from “Madame Flambeau,” which really is the coolest French name ever. Doesn’t that sound like a great name for a French detective? Madame Flambeau’s School of Sleuthing and the French Language.

But I digress.

French is hard. Let me just say that we spent most of the two classes I’ve had so far reviewing pronounciation. For example, there are vast differences between the ‘e’, the ‘e’ with an upward accent, the ‘e’ with a sinking accent and ‘e’ that wears a little hat.

The differences sound subtle, to say the least. But, as our teacher, a sweet woman who appears to be in her 60s, explained, the differences are actually quite important.

A wrong accent can mean you are speaking in past, not present, tense.

Or, it can completely change your words.

Going over these sounds again and again reminds me a bit of studying Hindi, where the difference in aspirated and non-aspirated “ch”s can mean I’m a) telling someone to leave me alone or b) using a vulgar word that, well, let’s just say means I’m definitely NOT asking this person to leave me alone.

I thought French would be easier. Silly me.

One of my favorite authors is David Sedaris, who often writes about his experiences in France, specifically learning French. My favorite bit is in one story where he is proud he’s finally “moved up” from speaking like a “toddler” to speaking like a “redneck.”

“‘Is them’s the thoughts of cows?’ he asks his butcher, pointing at the cow’s brains behind the glass case.

I’d be happy if I could get to that level, honestly.

I hope that I’ll soon be able to ask the woman at the boulangerie what, exactly, is in those turnovers? What is frangipani? And I’d like to not get nervous at a restaurant when I tentatively ask for the bill in French (Yikes, what if they ask me a follow-up question? Follow – ups are the dreaded event for any language learner. I can tell the banker, for example, that I would like to withdraw money from my account. But if he asks me anything else, I’m in trouble).