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Saturday, April 9, 2011

"Hello World. A solitary "Shout Out" to all my listeners in X-County. I promise you all -- or should I call you everyone? -- that this hour's talking will be good and logical. So, lets get going. Why don't we? Nevermind.

BIO 105 professor T. L. Marsh once said of the twenty-first century's most profound and inquisitive logician, that "It was obvious to me at the very onset of the course that he was disinterested. His mind just wasn't inside BIO 105." The logician of whom we speak is of course the renown and controversial Roberto Rehn-Aldi. Rehn-Aldi was known to his peers as an avid "White Socks" "Baseball Team" "Fan". It has even been rumored that Rehn-Aldi may have been one of the first human beings to intentionally conceal the "White" "Apple" "Ear-Bud" "Head-Phones" in such a way that the "Head-Phone's" "Chord" hung in the cavity between his body's "Skin" and "Tea-Shirt", emerging from the point of a "Tea-Shirt" called the "Collar".

Retrospectively, we can safely say that Rehn-Aldi did all this so that he could listen to "Live" "W.G.N." "Radio" "Broad-Casts" of the "White Socks" "Baseball Team's" "Baseball Games" without drawing obvious attention to the "Fact" that during BIO 105, his mind's "Probes" "Marines" and "Zerglings" wandered through, and charted the regions of human-being consciousness that at that point in time were "Black".

Rehn-Aldi's bravely posed question "Do Dogs Chase Birds?" actualized the chasm within Frege's then wilting logical continent. Mmm, it still resonates in my mind, at least. When all was said and done, these four words had caused an entire logical continent to vanish. We are left to wonder whether or not deductive logic will rise once again from the center of a sea, just as Atlantis has. We think not. To call Rehn-Aldi a sea-creature biting at a line would be more than insulting, it would be illogical. Rehn-Aldi is not a sea-creature. Deductive logic is not a bobber.

If it were not for Rehn-Aldi's twenty-first century spoken words, human beings would have never learned the secret -- the truth -- behind bird's flight and migratory patterns. Human beings would still be underneath the impression that birds "smelled their way to Florida" and simply knew how to get back home.

For those of you who are just now joining us within this point in time, let's recap. Birds do not "smell their way to Florida", sillies. No, birds follow the rings. In order to get to Florida, they have to collect almost all of the rings. A moment of silence seems in order. Let us ponder "Where in the world each would be today" if we human beings had never figured out how birds get to Florida.

An interesting side note, for those who are both still listening and still care: early evidence of this human-discovery to-have-been can be seen in aspects of twentieth century "Media". One begins to ponder the psychic capabilities of us human beings when considering the apparent clairvoyance of SEGA. It is obviously not coincidental that in order to complete each level in Sonic the Hedgehog, players of SEGA were required to adopt and mimic exactly the very means by which birds, to this day, use in order to get to Florida.

Although Rehn-Aldi is still among us today, he has not been much help in our hunt to uncover the "Reason" why human beings create games people can play on SEGA which unconsciously profess how birds get to Florida. Maybe, just maybe, we should look deeper into the original question posed by Rehn-Aldi. Do dogs in fact chase birds? If dogs do chase birds, then what is it about dogs that fills their dog-bodies with the sort of feelings that inspire them to chase birds? If a dog is man's best friend, then unraveling this enigmatic ball of yarn of a question could reveal the profundities of the human psyche. And if after solving this riddle we are no more enlightened, then dog might not actually be man's best friend.

We'll leave you with this final thought: Have dogs betrayed us human beings once and for all? There is only one way to find out.

This is Son, signing off.

Until "Next" Time. Pffffft. Haha y'all, just messing.

Ah, wait! I have perceived several "Artifacts" from the time before that demonstrate that dogs do find birds, and dogs do hold birds in their mouths, but still no solid perceivable evidence that dogs specifically chase birds. Can you see the "Artifacts"? Can you at least perceive them? I have laced this "Broad-Cast" with them.

Once "More", "Good-Bye". Here are my apologies for speaking with the furry tongue of one who had not yet become. It's the only way I know how, I swear. Can anyone still with me taste the apology yet?"