Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Up Shit's Creek?

Quickly paddling away from C-List status.

Last night's Big Brother 19 (save the "What the hell were you doing watching that show?" questions for never, you judgmental prick) featured a special bonus game for the remaining 9 contestants. These 9 people have been locked up for about 8 weeks now, have had zero contact with the outside world, including all things pop culture.

The prize for winning this game was a special advanced in-house screening of the upcoming film "Without a Paddle", complete with popcorn and soda. The roomates were thrilled, practically foaming at the mouth, with the idea of being able to see a feature length film.

Afterwards, the lucky housemates raved about the film, monotonously lauding the genius comic stylings of Matthew Lillard and Co. "This movie was SO funny!" they beamed into the camera while shmearing shit on their pallid faces and wearing cabbage-leaf bikinis. "It's great!!!" they laughed maniacly.

Make a long story tedious, you know it's a bad sign when the "Paddling" marketing people are so desparate for good word of mouth they have to rely on people who have not only lost their minds, but haven't seen anything in two months. Shit, I'd even sit through a Mind of the Married Man marathon at that point. What's a couple of gouged out eyes worth these days, anyway?