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MY POETRY HOME — trespassers welcome

Judgement Day Now! Written at Home (GRA) Ilorin — Nigeria.
(Sunday, December 3rd, 2000)

Some 80% or more of this piece came from Mark Twain's "The Damned Human Race (Letters From the Earth)"; a great satire that looked at, among other things, Man's outrageous thirst for his brother's blood in the name of religion through the ages. Even 2,000 years after the King of Peace came down from the Throne bearing a message of love and tolerance for Mankind from Almighty God, nothing seems to have changed much and one wonders how the King of Peace would cope when he comes back to deliver judgement in order for the meek to inherit the earth as promised. . .

The King is due to descend
later today and judge the world.

I am not afraid to meet him really;
but if he is ready to endure the great
ordeal of meeting me, I think I would first
take him to the salon and have
his beard neatly shaved alongside a trendy,
perhaps hippy, haircut.

Then I would take him to the pool and give him
a thorough bath, after which I shall
take him home and introduce him to my dear sweetheart.

When the above tasks are fully accomplished,
I shall take him to the zoo where we shall
perform a very simple Langhornian Experiment:

A cat and a dog would be put into a cage and
they shall be taught how to become good friends
under an hour. Then in another hour they shall be
taught how to become friends with a rabbit.

In the course of the day a fox, a goose, a squirrel,
and some doves shall be added, and finally a monkey.

In another cage we shall confine an
Irish Catholic from Tipperary and, as soon as he seems tame,
a Scottish Presbyterian from Aberdeen shall be added.

Next, a Palestinian Arab, and then a Jew from Tel-Aviv.
A Hindu from India, a Sheikh from Kaduna, Zamfara or Kabul,
a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas, and finally
from Southern Sudan a Lord's Resistance Army Colonel
shall be added to the cage of men.

We shall then stay away and come back
to note results after two days.

Upon our return, the cage of the animals shall
be found in peace; but a chaos of gory odds and ends
of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh
shall be met in the cage of Religious Man –
not a single soul shall be found alive there.

All of the men, each of whose religion is
"The One True Religion", would have disagreed
on a theological detail too intricate to be settled on earth,
so they must carry the matter to a Higher Court.

By this time, the King would agree with me that
Religious Man will stand, fight, cry, talk, publish,
perish, and die, for religion.
He will in fact do anything and everything
for religion except live for it.

Then I'll shake hands with the King as
I bid him good bye and good luck,
leaving him to do his Judgement Day business
while I check on Twain in his grave and blissfully
identify with nature and the other animals in a
non-religious life of peace.