Archive for the Teenage Pregnancy Category

I was in a pharmacy buying “ointment” the other day and saw this National Enquierer cover that said Jamie Lynn is pregnant again, only a few months after giving birth to her other baby who won the fight with the abortion doctor and as I was about to pick it up some really disgusting fatter than me dude got next to me and started talking to himself about sluts in magazines and how he wants to fuck them all and how he knows they want it. Dude smelled like 6 week old dirty asshole, whore pussy and french fries and as he grunted and drooled over a teen bopper magazine, I decided it was a good time to leave, mainly because it was like lookin in the mirror and I wasn’t in the mood for that horrible reality, but also because the space between the magazine rack wasn’t big enough for the two of us and he conviently rubbed up against me when trying to get through and I didn’t want to smell him for the next few days before I decided to change my shirt…..

The point of this is to say, fuck the critics, teenage pregnancy is hot and you’re never too young to get started and I think it’s fucking amazing that Jamie Lynn is doing what her out of contol, teenage rebelling, very fertile uterus is telling her to do. I figure if she starts now, by the time she hits menopause, she’ll have a whole race of her own, and maybe even Wal Mart will open a outlet center in her backyard. We are all allowed to have dreams, but only some of us actually act on them and make them happen and for that Jamie Lynn Spears deserves some credit.

Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears wearing a bit more clothes than she was when she got into this whole mess that she doesn’t think is a mess because she’s a good little child of God and abortions don’t exist in her world, but unprotected premarital sex does, which is kind of hypocritical if you ask me, which you didn’t because my opinion doesn’t really matter.

I fuckin’ love teenage pregnancy and every teenage girl I have ever accidentally knocked up has had abortions, but that was pretty much my doing because I didn’t want the burden, lawsuit, jail time or commitment to a fat lonely girl with daddy issues who turned to me to fill her void and all it really took was a good punch to the stomach. You’d be surprised how fragile a uterus actually is….. I always thought they’d be a hell of a lot more resilient.

Either way, I like to think whoever got her knocked up fucked up, because she was just starting her career up and hasn’t had enough time to really peak in her career. I predict it’s all down hill from here, because I’ve seen young girls bounce back pretty well from this kind of thing, but they never fully bounce back. Not to mention how annoying it will be on the set of her next movie when she keeps having to stop to feed her baby while studying for her GED.

The good news is that this is a story of trash that we all get to take part in, because teenage pregnancy usually happens in small towns with girls no one really cares for and the only people who get to laugh about it are their neighbors and people in their class. Now the whole world gets to take part in the fun of something as beautiful as a kid giving birth to a kid because she decided she wasn’t a kid the night she was letting an older dude shove his unprotected dick in her and cum inside her because she didn’t take sex ed classes while being tutored on set and had no idea the implications of her actions. Good times….