Fernando Llorente and Daniele De Rossi learn the dangers of Googling your Coach and Erick Thohir runs for Inter in SusyCampanale's quotes of the week.

“I am curious to see what Antonio Conte was like as a player. I’ll have to look up clips on YouTube.”

Fernando Llorente might get a bit of a surprise when he sees the hair...

“When I heard that Roma had signed Rudi Garcia, I searched the internet, it came out with a video in which he played the Porompompero with the guitar. I was with the national team, I called Pirlo and told him: ‘Look at who we have brought in!’ Now I thank God that we got him.”

Daniele De Rossi had for a brief moment believed their new Coach was Keyboard Cat

“I cannot take to the field like the players saying, ‘I’ll play today’. I am fat and run very little, but I can be useful at Inter.”

Don’t worry Erick Thohir, it didn’t stop Alvaro Recoba

“I say things to try to make things better and then they are used against me!”

Welcome to Italian sports media, VincenzoMontella

“I saw the match against Fiorentina from Jakarta, staying up until dawn, and we won, and every time I come to Milan we drop points…”

Inter President Thohir is starting to feel a little unwelcome

“In all honesty, I was very disappointed to see those photographs, because it wasn’t nice towards me, regardless of the foul. I was sad to see Carlos Tevez posted those photos, because people started to treat me like a killer. If he hadn’t put those pictures up on Twitter, then it might not have happened.”

Ciro Immobile insists mangling someone’s ankle is one thing, but talking about it is beyond the pale

“We don’t hang out off the field, but between training and games I spend more time with Tevez than my own girlfriend!”

Llorente also got him some flowers for Valentine’s Day

“The players are becoming annoying to those who referee games and maybe I and the club are too.”

Montella is starting to get on his own nerves at this point

“I believe in our safety and I want to stay here for a long time.”

Sassuolo hope Alberto Malesani got at least one of those right

“Juve’s strength is the so-called 12th man on the field... It’s on the field, though, because it’s certainly not the Juve fans!”

Torino forward RiccardoMeggiorini picks up the Great Turin Derby Flame War where it left off

“The first half was the key for me, as we wanted to score two or three goals and then control it after the break.”

After Istanbul, surely Rafa Benitez knows that’s a really bad plan?!

“Our players must learn they cannot try to get vigilante justice, even if they think that decisions have gone unfairly against them.”

Montella regrets the Liam Neeson movie marathon at Fiorentina

“When we were teammates with Seedorf in the dressing room we called him Obama, because he always wanted to be right.”

GianlucaZambrotta knows all Milan have now is Hope

“Now we know the Ludogorets characteristics better than we did before the first leg. We understand their strengths and weaknesses.”

If EdyReja had bothered to study them before that game, maybe Lazio wouldn’t have been knocked out

“I also maintain saying ‘He was already a Coach on the field’ is incredibly stupid.”

SerseCosmi points out you can’t be a proper tactician without a baseball hat

“Over the 180 minutes we deserved something more. Maybe somebody up there doesn’t like us.”

Reja’s game analysis covers the tactical, the technical and the metaphysical

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