Monday, March 24, 2008

Laying a strong foundation for a better relationship.

Relationships are like houses in many ways, without solid foundations in bad weather, they may fall away, not always, but there is a better than average change. This being the case, how can we actively pursue a solid relationship? Common sense would declare, “Built a solid foundation!”Where to start building that foundation one might ask? It’s with you.

If we actually take the time to take stock of ourselves, we may find that we have some cracks in our foundation. Finding them is not really the hard part if we are honest about it. It just falls in line with no one is perfect, but what to do with these cracks is the important part.

Taking stock

Are you honest with others as well as yourself?

Can you communicate your thoughts and feelings?

Do you have your ego in check?

Do you have the ability to compromise?

Are you generally liked by people? Why? Why not?

What do you want for my future?

What qualities do you want/not want in a partner?

Are you willing to settle?

These are just some of the questions that I would ask myself. I would try and correct the things I could right away, and work on those tougher ones that may have been ingrained in me for years. A good technique could be to ask trusted friends that have known you for a long time how they see you. Although it’s true that know one knows us quite like ourselves, it’s also true that we don’t see ourselves as others do either. Get constructive criticism from the outside perspective.

If you have been in a failed marriage or relationship, use that as a tool to critic your part in it if any. If you have been called a hard head or too sensitive, find out what that means and how it applies to you then correct it if need be. Remember, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

If you have found some negative stock in yourself and discarded it or corrected it, not only will this help you in future relationships, but it will also have the great benefit of making you a better person. Either way, knowing who you are and what you want from a relationship would cut down quite a bit on time wasted in impossible relationships. Isn’t that alone worth taking stock in ourselves?