My Dad is in late-stage...bone metastases (several ribs, pelvis, spine, lymph nodes). He just had his 71st birthday.

He has had an ostomy bag for 23 yrs, a super-pubic catheter installed 3 yrs ago, and double nephrostomy tubes put in about 3 months ago....

This man is an inspiration to anyone who has ever met him - he has NEVER complained about his health....his health which long ago deserted him...

He is at home, still thankfully, where my Mom cares for him...back in July, we thought that the end was near, but somehow he came through that...

Now, he seems to be on a downward trend...and he is in pain & suffering from extreme nausea - and he has little energy...for instance, just standing at the bathroom sink to comb his hair, completely tires him out.

Does anyone have any suggestions for his symptoms of pain & nausea???

I can't bear the thought of his suffering...he has a Palliative care Dr. who visits, but is not due back for another week. Dad does not like to 'bother' anyone, so requesting that the Dr. come sooner is a big deal.

What are the end stages like? Anyone?? My Mom is so sad & scared of his suffering...it's eating her up.

How long could he possibly live in this awful state?

We love him so much - we have had so much fear about his health in his lifetime...and now....it's unthinkable that he would be in pain like this.

We are so very sorry to hear about your dad... What a man of courage! You must be very proud of him. I wish I had some information at hand for you right now, but I will search for something that may help. Please also feel free to look at the permanent topics, above, which have links to what may be useful information for you.

You are very welcome to this forum! I know you'll get a response soon from our caring forum members who have some experience in this area.

My wife and I have had family members in other late stage diseases and have found Hospice to be a wonderful resource. Your father sounds like a wonderful and courageous man and it's obvious that the acorn didn't fall far from the tree when it came to his daughter. My best to you.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like a wonderful man and no one should have to suffer the way he is. He is fortunate to have such loving family to help him thru this terrible time. I wish I could make some useful suggestion, but more knowledgeable people will chime in soon. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers and hoping that the situation will improve soon. Please don't give up hope.

Sorry to hear of you dad's suffering. My dad died from prostate cancer in 1985. It is a terrible thing to watch and not know what to do for him. My dad was on methadone for the last year of his life. It relieved that pain but he was "doped up" most of the time. Urging him to go to the doctor was useless because, like your dad, he didn't want to bother anybody.

There have been many advances in the treatment of prostate cancer and in pain management since then as I am sure you are aware. My only suggestion is to urge him to call the doctor earlier than his appointment and to be there to support him and you mom. My dad always perked up when we would come around even though he would never talk about his condition. That might have helped if he had talked about it but at that stage, we let him handle it the way he wanted.

It is a sad time of our lives when we see our parents near the end of their lives. We can take consolation in knowing that we were there for them.

My prayers go out to you and your family. I echo Bill comment about hospice. These people are special and provide so much more than medical care. My Oncologies has suggested that we look at RT at specific bone locations in the future in my case. He stated that it would help with the pain.

Your father is a very brave man. He is doing what he can to ease yours and your mothers pain by "taking it like a man". I saw this with my father. But he doesn't have to with all that is out there to help relieve any suffering that is is going through. I know in my case, my wife would take the bull by the horns and get something for me. Pain can cloud judgement and weaken the spirit. Take charge.

Please keep us all informed. I am like Barry, I don't really know much about the late stages. But I really want to know more and will offer anything I can to make your fathers journey easier. You are in our prayers and I will see that the prayer chain starts from here.

Be at peace,

Walt (war Eagle)

Age: 54

PSA 43 7/2005

Biopsy 12/14 Gleason 7 & 9

Divinci 9/2005 - spread to bladder

HT - 10/2005 (Eligard every 6 months)

RT - 10/2005 (38 treatments)

PSA 0.12 to 1.9 2/2007

Bone Scan and CT 4/2007

Casodex 4/2007

Spread to Spine (L4 & T5), rib, and pelvis

Zometa infusions 4/2007

PSA 4.9 8/2007

PSA 4.9 9/2007

"I will persist without exception - I will find a way where there is no way"

i took your advice, and asked my dad to please call the palliative doctor, and he did...she will be dropping by today! - all of my thanks, Kathy

PERSEVERANCE

"Is there a school where Perseverance teaches classes? I want to meet him face to face and see what he looks like. I have heard so much about him. It is not that I want his feedback. I am sure he would tell me to "keep working", and I already know that. It is not just me either. Offhand, I can name at least three friends who are as curious as I am. One is a scholar, one is a writer, and the third is a young parent. I would write Perseverance a letter inviting him to come here and teach at the neighbourhood school, but no one around here knows where he lives or how to find him.

I read somwhere that they were trying to hire him to co-host a PBS series on the creative process, but he would not have it...says he is shy in front of cameras. Truth is, he turns down all offers which distract him from his work."

What a wonderful family you are a part of. I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is suffering...the fact that he acted on your plea shows he does need the help.

To be face to face with the pain and suffering this horrible disease can bring...that's where we all fear to be. The brave men here have been through surgery, radiation, hormone therapy, chemotherapy...but how to go through what your dad is experiencing well, this is something we don't know how to do.

We do know how to give you support and encouragement. I wish it were more.

I'm really glad you came here...be assured that you & your family will be on many minds tonight and these same people will be checking on you, so please come back.

Suppositories for nausea are very useful. Perhaps ask for them if he isn't already using them. Oramorph is also helpful and can be used as often as he needs it. I do hope for peace and comfort for your father. Know our prayers are with you all.

Sorry to hear about your father. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

kw 43

PSA 5.7 - Discovered during Annual Physical with Family Practice Dr.

Gleason 7

Biopsy - 3 of 12 positive (up to 75%) all on left side of prostate

RRP on Oct. 17, 2006 - Nerves on right side saved.

All Lab's clear. No Cancer outside prostate

Cathiter in for 3 weeks due to complications in healing. Removed Nov. 9, 2006

First Post op PSA on Dec. 11, 2006 Undetectable 0.00

Office visit on Jan. 19th due to continued excessive urine leakage.

Feb.20th Cystoscope and 2nd Post Op PSA. Another 0.00.....:)

Dr. said everything looks fine. Continue to work Kegeal's. Leaking appears to have improved after Cystoscope?!?!?! Down to 3-4 pads per day!

March 1st Leaking has crept back up to 6 - 8 pads a day ???????

March 8th Started Detrol LA to see if it helps with the leaking?

March 29th Collagen injection into sphincter / bladder neck area to control excessive leaking. Worked for a couple of days then back to leaking.

April 17th (Six Months Post Op) 2nd Collagen Injection to control excessive leaking. Leaking started back next day at work!

May 14th Second Opinion about my leaking and Options at OU Medical Center. After reviewing my records the Dr. feels I will probably need some surgical intervention to stop my leaking. But did agree to try Bio-Feedback and work hard on the Kegeal's first!

All of us here are familar with pain, but few if any of us have any idea of what you are going through. You will be an inspiration to those who travel that road in the future. Keep a positive attitude and may God Bless you for being an example to many. Uncle DanAge 67No symptoms, DRE negative10 - 06 PSA 5.44, 01 - 07 PSA 6.475 - 07 CT and Bone scans negative05 - 07 Biopsies, 2 of 6 positive Gleason Score (3+4) 7 Stage T1c08 - 14 Dr. Dasari - Baptist Hospital, Nashvilleda Vinci RAP, five hours surgerySome right nerve and all left nerve removed,Hospital discharged 8 - 16 Pathology report Negative marginsEncapsulated, 50% left sideLymph nodes 2 R & 1 L - NegativeR & L seminal vesicles - NegativeGleason changed (4+3) 7 closer to 8 than 69 - 26 Great PSA 0.0009 - 27 Starting on meds for ED9 - 30 Dry, 2nd day without padViagra no help yet