Discoveries on the road to a joyfilled life ~ Paula McFarlane Insight Coaching

Monthly Archives: October 2015

FEAR- what purpose does it serve in our lives? It keeps us safe..stops use from walking down dark alleys at night…useful right?

Until recently I thought so too but the fear of a dangerous situation is distinctly different to the fear we feel as an emotional response to changes in our lives. Fear has another effect on our lives that we may be less prepared to accept as protective.

Fear keeps us small, it steals our dreams and holds us back from our greatness. It holds us back from asking for what we really want in our relationships and in our careers. Think about it…what would you do if you had no fear? What in your life would change?

How do we reduce this kind of fear…the kind that keeps us stuck and unable to get what we really want? In my experience the only way to move through fear is to feel it.

No wonder we will settle for less that we truly desire, understandable that we accept the ordinary when part of us knows we have the extraordinary deep down inside.

Feeling fear is palm sweating, white knuckling, gut wrenchingly uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel good. It can frighten off even the hardiest of souls! However the thing about fear as an emotional response is that like any other feeling we may experience it will eventually dissolve. We feel fear in our body just like we feel love or joy or sadness but none of these feelings will last for ever. They can be intense, scary, delicious, lovely but eventually they pass. Fear is not an enjoyable emotional response. It can feel like a freight train running through your veins! But just like love or joy or sadness it will eventually move though you if you are prepared to wait it out, surrender to it.

On the other side of fear you will find clarity, strength and calm. In this place you can know whether the choice you are making, the desire you are seeking is right for you. In that calmness, the action steps you need to take will appear.

Imagine if we could routinely sit with our fear and surrender into it. What would our lives look like if doing that meant fear was no longer in the way?

I have been sitting in my fear tonight. Fear about what is next for me, what I will need to do to have what I want really want in my life. This is a new experience for me. In the past I would eat my fear, fill myself up with food so that I couldn’t feel it. Sometimes I would just avoid it altogether. What I have discovered is that in doing this I saved myself the discomfort of feeling fear but I also denied myself the gifts and clarity that feeling my way through fear would bring.

Tonight I feel the freedom and liberation of changing that pattern. On the other side of my fear I feel the expansion of knowing I can create my life exactly as I desire it. My fear shows me I am doing something new taking a different path. It is beautifully illustrating for me the power of my choices.

On the other side of fear is….excitement 🙂

I invite you to dance with your fear and share with me what that reveals below