Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Surrender

This morning I pulled out an old devotional
journal from my desk, and tucked inside the back was a letter you’d sent me
a couple of years ago. In it you started with 1 Peter 5:6-10.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the
mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all
your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful.
Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to
devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of
suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And
after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called
you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen,
and establish you.

Those verses and your transparency spoke to
me of surrender, the topic of your letter. Surrender is so hard for me. Even
knowing what I’m to surrender to can
be hard. And discerning the difference between surrender and giving up—for me
they seem muddled at times—and I feel that I swing back and forth like the
foolish person spoken of in James 1.

Your reflections Sunday on Mark’s sermon also
has a haunting connection—the struggles of doubting God as a good God. All the
“why?” questions drift through the recesses of my brain—wondering, wondering of
the ways of such a powerful and incomprehensible God.

And yet God is good. The blue sky above, the rolling tides, even the ingenuity
of man, and the smile of a sick child staring up into your face—all, all
shout God is good! God is good!

When David flees for his life and Absalom
proclaims himself king, David’s response was simply, “I am ready; let him [God]
do to me whatever seems good to him.” Ready for what? In David’s mind, it was
likely death, considering the typical fate of deposed kings of that time, but
he was ready—ready for whatever.

He was surrendered.

Hanging onto faith can be such a daily thing,
and the arrows of Satan can feel as close as the enemy taking up residence in
our house. Maybe surrender is hard because of the difference between knowing God is good and feeling God is good.

Lord, let us see the evidences of your
glory—the wonders that shout, “God is good. God is good, always.” To such a God
we can surrender each day.