Friday, June 17

In Which I Try And Raise The Tone

Poetry readings! Pimms! Suddenly I saw a life of gentility in the Big Blogger House and I looked forward to a few afternoons of tea and cucumber sandwiches, calm literary discusions before the cocktail hour and then dinner. Then I woke up and smelt the Earl Grey. So in an effort to add some literary gravitas to this gathering I thought I would write my task in Haiku. You will see that I have taken the odd and rather old-fashioned approach of the 5/7/5 layout - but that's because I'm just a mere amatuer at this format.

(ahem)

Big Blogger is sweet.As honey from a bee hiveAs berries in June

Big Blogger is fair.As a garden fresh bounty,Like a sun-lit view.

Big Blogger is pure.As a crisp cold Winter dayAs a mountain stream

But he can be mean.Like toads under stones at nightLike a doom beetle…

.................................................................

Nice aren't they?

But I'm sure what you really want are limericks.

Big Blogger is dirty and meanThe housemates are very obsceneThy head off to the slumand quickly become,Furtive, dirty unclean!

Big Blogger is stuck in the loo And now we haven’t a clueWhat is the best way?To release him this dayAnd as for the smell – well phew!

Big Blogger has found a big snag Housemates have gone for a fagBut to keep this quite cleanAnd to not cause a scene Better a fag than a shag!

Big Blogger woke up with a yawnAnd went into the garden at dawnHe gasped in surpriseAt the height and the sizeOf the Dodo invading the lawn

We were given a hoover todayIt was used in the usual waySwitched it on, what a din!It sucked everything inNow we’re homeless with no place to stay…

Now I’ve been referred to as posh,I say ‘golly’, ‘what ho’ and ‘Oh gosh’Being aristocraticIt comes automaticThe rest of the time I speak tosh.

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Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2005. For the next eightsevensixfivefourthreetwo week we will be watching the housemates as they fulfil their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2005. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

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