Hi Guys as i have been going through various posts and i started to wonder how we decided on our user names and avatars ,i simply added my name to the year i was born 1963, my avatar on the other hand was slightly different i originaly inserted a photo of a motorcycle i owned it signified a passion (ok an obsession ) of mine lol , after posting my story in a couple of posts i now feel very safe here and that i am now among friends ,i decided to change my avatar to a picture of me aged 5 a happy little boy in 1968 3 years before my abuse started , now each time i post here i see myself there and know i am slowly trying to repair some of the damage that was done to me ,i am so glad that i have found friends here on Male Survivor ,THANKYOU ...Andrew.

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LOOK AT ME NOW I AM A SURVIVOR !My inner child and I are now doing this together !

Hi Andrew and Andy,I keep a really detailed journal and three weeks after disclosure in the journal l was abbreviating HRT for Hostage Rape Torture. On one entry l wrote, [ I wonder if there are any other men of hrt that survived the man who got me ] It quickly dawned on me l was a survivor, hence the HRT/S.Hostage Rape Torture/Survivor and laterH-seek HELPR-REPORT the crimeT-TALK about the traumaS-stay in SURVIVORSHIP

dbw are my initials: Delta Bravo Whiskey was my call sign on the CB radios we used in the 1970's.

Then 18 months after disclosure l found MS and used a stock moon avartar untill l got a computer last November 2010. On New Years l shot the current avatar image on a webcam and was exploring the graphics and this came out of a series. Kinda' looks like my reaching out has been touched. Perfect for my MS avartar.

Oh, and l recall using a badly uploaded hand drawn mess for awhile, l was a mess inside so l just left it up. Hate the underscore, but heck, l knew very little about computers back when l disclosed. LOL

Thanks Andrew and Andy for the opportunity to explain and read about your avatar and usernames.

Great posts and usernames Andy, Andrew and Delta Bravo Whiskey !I've used my pseudonym (Pero Peric) usually when I'm on line. It could be translated into English like Mr. Nobody. It is a real but very funny sounding name in my native language. Sad thing was that I've used this identity since 2009 to reach some porn web pages and I've really felt like nobody at that time. I'm shameful because of this (and some other things too) but I've accepted my past and my shameful side. Now I'm using this name just for healing purpose it keeps me somehow focused on my recovery. I came from mountainous country and I adore nature so my avatar is picture of an mountain which reminds me visually on my country and my origin. At the top conditions are very wild and scenery is very beautiful. Weather is changing there almost every minute, it's very unpredictable and could be dangerous. That is exactly how I feel sometimes.So I'm here with aim to conquer mountain inside me and willing to lose side called Pero (Nobody) on that path; I wish I would go back down as a new person !!!Pero

My avatar is a rendition of a photograph of me when I was almost 4 years old. It was made by an artist. She added wings and some kind of a cap to the rendition. I did not really have wings . It was before abuse (csa).

What you see in my avatar is a scanned rendition of the original. The original is much larger and the artist has me standing on a futuristic reflective globe which in turn is supported by a pillar with a foundation. Actually it looks like what we call in science a static generation machine. Maybe she expected me to generate some static. I seem to have lost the scanned version of the original. I'll try to find it and post it, but not as an avatar.

Allen

P.s. (edited 11/29/12) Since the above was written I have change the avatar a couple of times. It is now a photo of me when I was 10 years old. I was in a row boat in West Virginia. I loved boats and I was thoroughly enjoying the boat ride. My sister was seated beside me. You might observe her shadow on my left arm. I have cropped the picture so that it just shows me. That afternoon we went to see speed boat races.

My username obviously has to do with time. It's strange sometimes how certain events in you life feel so far away in time and others feel like they happened yesterday. In a way Clokwise is almost a dig on myself because there are so many times in my life where I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do over. But no matter what time keeps moving forward.

My avatar is a picture of me when I was about five. I believe it's around the time the abuse happened. I use it because it's the only picture I have of myself as a child and Because it reminds me of my dad; before he passed he showed me a picture of himself at about the same age where he had the exact same nervous expression on his face. I don't have that picture of him anymore so this picture reminds me of my lost innocents and of my love for my dad.

My username is a combination of my wife's name, and my first and last name. She has never hurt me, she is my innocent rescuer. I began to live when I married her, 23 years ago, and my life has moved away from my abusers and those who would support them. She and I, and our children are my life now, and the others are in the back round, not hated, but not intimate either.

The photo is of me when I was about 25, just starting our family. A few short years before that, I had left my family of origin's(SA PREV) home and lived on the street for a couple years, then I got a job and lived with dominant, controlled men until I was finally kicked out of the last place I would live with alone, before my darling wife and her sensibilities in arranging our finances to be able to support an apartment and vehicle, a life without support.

I use to get asked about my username because it was different in chat when I would go there. I took Freedom because that is what I sought when I first came here at the end of 07 in serious distress. 49 is the year I was born. There was not a whole lot of thought in that at the time.

For some reason I was confused when they asked for another nickname for chat and it never dawned on me I could use the same username. I thought about it for a while. My dad was very religious and did some pretty amazing things spiritually. I wanted to be better than him for obvious reasons and so I thought of two characters in the old testament bible that were close. Elijah and Elisha. The latter did twice the miracles thata his mentor did in his day and I liked that symbolism. I wanted to take the good parts of dad and leave the bad and do better.

It kind of back fired in a way because those not familiar with the characters always thought it was a girls name and I could not change it. I don't go into chat anymore so it doesn't matter now but it was kind of tedious at times.

The taking the good and leaving the bad still has a lot of significance still.

My username is just my initials with 01... the 01 standing for me being the first and most important person with those initials. Version 01, Number 01, most important 01. I am important, I do mean something, I am relevant.

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