What It’s Like When Your Rush Crush Goes Another Chapter

Bid Day should be a collegiate holiday. All events cancelled to make room for a day of jubilation for the new members who have found their homes and for the chapter members to get fresh faces to tell what to do love. You all worked so hard during recruitment, and though your voices are lost, your feet are lacerated, and your demeanor is lethargic, something inside you wants to squeal and squeeze the new little babies. Especially one in particular: your rush crush.

You spotted her from across the room on the first day and threw caution and bump groups to the wind as you gravitated toward her adorable being. You talked with her for the rest of the party and kind of considered kidnapping her so she couldn’t leave and go to another house. For the rest of recruitment, you made sure to find her at every party, tell how happy you were to see her, and it seemed like she was just as enthusiastic to see you. You were ready to cut a bitch when it came down to who preffed her, but everyone knew it was in their best interest to let you do it. You spill your guts out to her the exact way you would never spill your guts out to a guy (feelings are a sign of weakness), and she grabs your hands with the sincerest look of gratitude and love and you know that you got her.

And then you find out you don’t.

You show up on Bid Day face painted and excited. You have been envisioning this moment since the second you saw her. You are ready to welcome her home and take the cutest pictures that you already have captions planned for, but she’s not there. There’s no sign with her name on it. There’s no sign of her anywhere. Someone else’s vision came true. Someone else got to welcome her home. Someone else got to take the cutest pictures that they already had captions planned for. They had a sign with her name on it. You opened your heart and your home for this perfect person, and she picked someone else.

It’s a special kind of emotion reserved only for this such occasion. A mixture of sadness, betrayal, anger, and distress for someone you met a week ago. The future you pictured of the two of you together vanishes and you are left with nothingness. You are left with an occasional spotting on campus and a drunk run-in at a party, proclaiming your long-standing love for her, but it’s always going to be too late. She is gone and found something that makes her happy. Because you care about her, you are happy that she’s happy. But at the same time, you know that your chapter is far superior to hers and she will never be as truly happy as she would have been if she was with you. And that’s what helps you sleep at night..

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A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

my rush crush turned little recently told me during a wine binge that she preffed us THIRD (at my school only allows 3 rounds on pref) and that she almost turned down her bid. it hurt 10x worse than when I found out my freshmen year boyfriend cheated on me.