I’ve just been in contact with a young woman named Laura, who is the niece of valued longtime commenter Schlemazel. Apparently he went to the doctor last week for what he thought was a UTI, and it turns out that it was not a UTI:

He has end stage bladder cancer. It was unexpected and completely botched. He went in to the ER last week for what we thought was a UTI and they admitted him right away. They did a bunch of tests and we found out this afternoon that he won’t be coming home. He is a brilliant misanthrope and I am so grateful that he was able to find a lovable bunch of jackels that have like minds.

Apparently his calcium is out of whack and he is confused and will not be able to respond to this post, but I wanted everyone to know and to lift a glass to the cantankerous bastard, say prayers, do whatever you do, and maybe a miracle will occur. I’ve got him in my thoughts.

Rrg. I just went and asked the doctor in the family. ‘End stage’ means it’s beyond curing, although temporary mediation may be possible. That sucks. Schlemazel, we will indeed think of you and hope for a miracle.

My limited family experience suggests that this confusion MIGHT get better once they figure out what else not working; anything messing up water filtration can have wacked side effects that are even so easier to fix that the rest…

Oh, no. That is just terrible. Thinking of him. He has been through so much in the last several months, what with messed up trips to Mayo clinic and seeing various doctors. Wishing him and his family much comfort as they deal with this latest development.

Fucking fuck fuck FUCK! This hits rather close to home as my stepfather neglected his bladder cancer until the anemia from the resulting bleeds forced his hand. He was fortunate that it was still treatable and he’ll simply die with it, rather than from it (whenever that time might come). I fervently hope that his doctors can help Schlemazel in easing his pain. And my thoughts will be with him and his loved ones in this most difficult time.

“Best healthcare system in the world” – NOT. His doctors blew this big time, and it hurts to think that he has gone through so much more shit than he had to, because they couldn’t find it. He is part of the backbone of this blog, and I will miss him so much. His niece is spot on with “brilliant misanthrope.” I’m gutted.

Prayers and light to him and his family. Hope he has good pain management. Fuck cancer.

@zhena gogolia: I thought the same thing. Or maybe it was the other way around–Mayo thought it was cancer but his previous doctors (U of Minnesota?) said it wasn’t. I can’t remember now. There was definitely disagreement about it by the medical professionals, which just had to be so awful.

Can’t say much more than everybody else has, but damn, this hurts. But the responses are one of the reasons I love this place. There is a real family here (some trolls excepted). The name for group of jackals is pack, but we should change it to a balloon juice of jackals.

ETA, SD may have said it better than I did, but then that is almost always the case.

@Mary G: I suppose we can hope for yet another misdiagnosis. Getting his electrolytes in order should help with the confusion, and then he can help with the treatment decisions. It’s harder on the family when the patient is not part of the decisions.

Shit. Thank you Laura for telling John. I’m sending love and healing energy to you, Schmazel and your family. Schemazel and I had a sort of real life connection 50+ years ago. We were about the same age and I lived in Minnesota while attending high school. My dad was on local radio and Schemazel said he wanted to be on radio and looked up to my dad, whom he got to meet. He told me in a comment my dad was very kind to him. Both of us were involved in DFL politics back in the day but I never did meet him. Shit.

I know. Do love that description, and it fits. I think niece Laura is a jackal in waiting.

I wonder if it’s crueler to get this diagnosis so late, or to have been denied living with the hope of getting past it, as Schlemazel had been. I kind of think hope is always good. Sometimes it is all you have.

Anyway, fuck cancer, and gonna go pour out a glass of wine and toast dear misanthrope.

SO very very sorry to hear this – delurking to say that I will be sending my most heartfelt vibes to Schlemazal and family. The jackaltariat is an amazing group, and Schlemazal is a huge reason for the amazingness.

I pretty much always lurk, although I did tell you all when my wonderful nephew died at 35 of cancer and when I was diagnosed myself. So far I am still around and I very much hope that Schlemazel will continue to be also. We really can’t spare the good ones. Too many of the other kind yet flourish.

Peace to Schlemazel, the brilliant and woke misanthrope–I hope you listen to the music you love, see the fam you love, the places you love, recall the memories you love, and create new memories to love. So so sorry for this rough time for you and everyone in your life (you misanthrope!).

The response to Schlemazel’s condition is what makes this place special. I mostly lurk, but I feel that this is my online home. Damn cancer. I only wish medicine was as good as it ought to be, but it’s an art as much as a science.

Schlemazel may be a cantankerous misanthrope, but he was courteous and welcoming to me, a relative newcomer and only infrequent commenter here. Niece Laura — carry my hugs along with the rest, and save some for your family as well. What rotten news to add to the daily round.

Awful news. I rarely post but obsessively read, I think of myself as a mute member of this jackal pack. Schlemazel is one of those, like Cole and OH who gives me permission to be as pissed off as I am. Hang in there!

Fuck.
I hope he can be kept as comfortable as modern medicine can make him and that his family can find some solace in the fact that he has been so loved for his kindness as well as his wit and insight, here. He’s one of my absolute favorites.

When we bought our canyon house 4 years, the first neighbor I met was a retired newspaper guy. We bonded over a few Jack Daniels and water. He passed last year from bladder cancer. It really sucks. I hate shit like this. Sending the best possible vibes from SoCal.

Extremely late to the post, and very upset about this news, but still wanted to put out some strength-and-healing vibes to Schlemazel and his family. You got this, buddy, and we’re all behind you – be strong!

Mayo fucked him around, changed his appointment and didn’t tell him, then the doctor said he “didn’t have cancer but he wanted to operate anyway”.
??? I dunno what it all means but remind me to stay away from that joint.

He originally changed his nym to Schlemazel because he was running into so many weird problems and unusual complications with his health. I don’t remember what his nym was before that one because it was so long ago.

Reading this again, it strikes me once more how cruel it is that cancer is usually so much clearer in hindsight. I hope they can get a handle on Schlemazel’s confusion. That was the worst thing about my brother’s cancer. I will hope for the best, whatever that may be.

@Frankensteinbeck: If your urine turns the color of cola and there’s pain: UTI. If there’s no pain – get your posterior to a doctor pronto… it’s definitely something that needs to be checked on – probably cancer of the renal system (bladder or kidney). I speak as one who knows.

@RepubAnon: Back in college, I got a real bad cold and took too many Theraflu’s and pissed like cola for a day. It scared the hell out of me, but I didn’t do anything about. Looking back (as someone with end-stage renal disease), I can’t help wonder if that’s when my health actually started its decline, which was basically a really long, gradual elevation of blood pressure that destroyed my kidneys.

Another usually silent jackal here. I’m so sorry to hear Schlemazel’s news, and angry that he didn’t get a correct diagnosis. I know some cancers are difficult to detect, and maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference if Mayo had honored its original appointment with him, but I was (and am still) outraged by the disrespect he met with there.

[. . .] all they wanted is what everyone wants from a religious community: a place they feel they are welcomed, inspiration to help them through the hard parts of their life, and rituals to give shape to the passing years and changes in their lives.

It strikes me that Balloon Juice provides that, in many ways.

Yes, I have a “Balloon Juice” file. Mostly it’s a collection of interesting links with comments or my notes attached—more useful than browser bookmarks. And I do take note of birthdays and anniversaries, I think because I went through a period when I came to realize that the jackaltariat skews older—a lot older—than I thought. And it’s nice to remember people’s special days.

Full disclosure: my 67th birthday is coming up on Saturday.

As for Schlemazel, we exchanged some e-mails last summer when he was expecting to have a diverticulectomy. “They will use about 8 inches of my small intestine to build a new bladder for me.” I have an acquaintance who went through that procedure, and I offered to put them in touch so they could compare notes.

To all, he is resting comfortably as they are keeping him medicated. I let him know the best I could that he is surrounded by love but even I had no idea how much.. Thank you all for being so kind, and the wonderful words about him. Funny, not until I had to look up the correct spelling of Schlamazel did fully get the term. “A schlemiel is somebody who often spills his soup and a schlamazel is the person it lands on.” It describes his life in a nutshell up to and including the way it will end. He valued all of you, you were such a huge part of his life.

Thanks to John for your post and to Laura for letting us know Schmazel’s situation. Most of all gratitude, Schmezal, for your words. As MaryG said, you are part of the backbone of the Balloon Juice community.

Positive thoughts and best wishes to Schlemazel and their family & friends. Holy fuck, cancer sucks. Both my Mom and my wife’s Dad succumbed to it. My wife and our daughter had skin lesions removed last year.

Oh FUCK no. This is terrible. “Fuck cancer” is not adequately conveying my anger and sadness here.
Much love and wishes for comfort to you, Schlemazel, and Laura Too. I have all of my crossable bits crossed for you that the days are longer and happier and more comfortable than expected.

Add my love to all the love flowing toward our Schlemazel tonight. I’m hoping that a miracle can happen for him. He’s been through so much over the last few years. All the best possible, my friend. You have touched my life for the better, and I thank you.

I guess I’m glad I didn’t go far enough back through the posts.
Damn this is shitty news. Schlemazel is a great jackel and it looked like he’d gotten good health news.
Have known people who fought cancer for years and lost. It seems so strange to hear about someone who gets to endstage and doesn’t even know they have cancer at all, especially with all he’s been through. It’s not easy hearing that word when they are actively looking for it, must be absolutely stunning thing when they aren’t and find it.
All the best to him and his family.
And as I haven’t said it in a while, Fuck Fucking Cancer.

@Laura Too:
Thank you for all this information about Schlemazel.
I never looked up the word but now have even more kinship with him.
Spilled soup catcher. Yeah, sounds about right. Never caught soup but did get a very large salad spilled in my lap when I was 16-17 yrs old. Blue cheese dressing no less. The waitress tried to help clean it up which made my buddies watching into even bigger, well asses. That wasn’t start of the rest of my life, only a continuation. It only rains spilled soup or salad in Schlemazel and Ruckus world.
Sorry for everything.

@Laura Too: Very late to the thread, but I wanted to thank you for the update, and let both of you know how sorry I am. He’d been through so much during the past year, I just hope he can be comfortable in his final days.

@Laura Too How horrible. May Schlemazel, your family and friends, and you find peace, comfort, and healing, and when the time comes, may you be comforted among the mourners of Jerusalem and Zion. And FUCK CANCER.

@JPL: I missed this post yesterday, somehow.
I wasn’t here long enough to know General Stuck before he left us, but I saw everyone’s reactions and the grief. Schlemazel I do know and I’m devastated. I lost a friend a couple of years ago who I had only known online but had known for 15 years, and the loss is still felt. Like we experienced with her and we with another jackal about the same time, Green not green, we are in mourning before the event, imagining ourselves beside him and trying to find words to comfort him and ourselves. Those words are hard to come by now as they were then.

Thanks to you all for the kindness shown to all of my family. I have printed out all of your responses and am going to the hospital. I will read them to him as I sit. I know he will hear all the love you have shared. I will update when completed. Again, thank you!

I just got home. I was lucky to have gotten there before they gave him the next shot of morphine so even though he couldn’t open his eyes and he is on a breathing tube he was very aware of what I was reading. I read him almost all of the comments and names. He clearly understood and recognized everyone. He laughed at some until he choked, he was saddened by some but was very clearly moved by all of the love. He has struggled with acceptance all of his life, I hope for the the first time in his life that he realizes just how much he is loved. I can’t express what all of you mean to me. Thank you!

@Laura Too: thank you for the update, and for connecting him with his BJ family. Very late to the thread – I’m about 2 days behind at this point, but so sorry to hear about Schlemazel. He has brought us smiles when we dearly needed them.

Hi Laura Too and Schlemazel: satby (from Mexico this week!) beat me to it. Copying some of the Jackals’ morning greetings into this thread, for your convenience.

From Odie Hugh Manatee: “He has struggled with acceptance all of his life, I hope for the the first time in his life that he realizes just how much he is loved.”

I was falling asleep last night and I thought about him and wished him the best. This jackal sits here with tears in his eyes after reading the above quote.

Good morning, Schlemazel. You are in my thoughts.

from zhena gogolia: Hi, Schlemazel — I’ve been thinking of you and praying for you every day. We miss you!

From MomSense: Good morning, Schlemazel. I hope you are feeling comfortable and less confused. We are carrying on here, blasting our mockery through the interwebs. Anne Laurie has mastered the art of posting things to inspire our vitriol. This morning she posted photos of a new challenge coin the Secret Service made. It features a closed sign on government and a tiny little pacifier. I don’t think the man baby in Chief noticed or he’d be twooping (tweeting on the toilet) non stop by now. I hope you find comfort from a visit with your niece Laura. We’ve already welcomed her into the pack. Sending a hug to you.

From Dorothy Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady): Schlemazel, we miss you. We struggle on with jackal snark as best we can.

From O. Felix Culpa: Dear Schlemazel – What MomSense said. We miss you and send you love and hugs.

from laura, in California: Schlemazel, sending you some love today.
Rest in comfort dear heart.
You are missed.

From Gelfing 545: Good morning, Shlemazel. Hope they are keeping you comfortable. We’ve been having a little laugh watching Nancy Pelosi wipe the floor with Trump. Probably the first time he’s been useful for something. Still, we miss your distinctive take on events.

From SFBayAreaGal: Dear Schlemazel – Lots of love and hugs to you and your family.

From Mary G: Shlemazel , your niece Laura is a wonderful person, and we appreciate her letting us know how you’re doing. We miss you very much.

From Sebastian: Schlemazel, buddy. What MomSense said. Sending you love and hugs, hang in there bud! We are holding the fort for you. Come back soon!

From TomatoQueen: Good morning to you Schlemazel, thinking of you every day.

From Satby, checking in from her vacay in Mexico: Schlemazel, adding my own miss you and sending love and hugs from Mexico. Know the jackals think of you and wish you were online with us every day. We miss your voice, and think you were really strong going through all you have. Much love to you, my friend.

Hey Schlemazel. I have looked forward to reading your sweet, curmudgeonly posts for years. I hope you can take pleasure in knowing that you’ve amassed a battalion of loving virtual friends. Hands across the water, Schlemazel.

Dear Schlemazel, you haven’t been out of my thoughts since your wonderful niece Laura shared your devastating news with us. Lots of love and light to you as you prepare for the next adventure. May your transition be gentle.

Hey Schlemazel – hope your niece is still reading these to you. Been thinking about you lots the past few days. I am not going to add “praying”, because that’s perilously close to “thoughts and prayers”, and we all know how we jackals think of those! So I’ll say, “sending snark and good vibes” to you as you go forward. We will miss you terribly. : (

I wanted to let you know that there will be a new thread for Schlemazel on Friday morning. I believe Adam has it scheduled for 8:30 am. Good thoughts and love to you and Schlemazel and the entire family.