Enter the Alternative Transportation Human: me. I’m smart. I’m educated and I live in a city. I also don’t own a car. I’m an Alternative Transportation Human. The Alternative Transportation Human gave it a lot of thought and decided that she didn’t want a car because other things are more important to her. Things like eating out, and going to yoga, and buying lots of cupcakes.

Enter the Overly Concerned Driver: The Overly Concerned Driver is the person who thinks, “It’s way out of my way but I couldn’t possibly make you take the bus!” or perhaps the driver is thinking, “How unfortunate! I must take pity on this poor vehicle-less person” or maybe “Buses are dangerous!” The Overly Concerned Driver is the person who insists on driving me home when I don’t really need them to. They are the person who can’t imagine a world without a car. They are also a person that fails to realize that I already optimized my situation based on my rules. And I’m a mathematician so I can optimize like a boss.

I have made a decision that I don’t want a car. It’s not that I’m too poor but rather I’ve optimized my spending differently from you. I can now afford extra visits to my hair stylist or dinners out with you, my friend, over the convenience and hassle of owning a vehicle. This has nothing to do with you. You can use your optimization function and I will use mine. But please, don’t cause yourself undo grief by forcing me to accept your ride. The Alternative Transportation Human is committed to the time and the hassle of her choice. If you are going the same direction as her and it’s no extra trouble for you, then great! But please remember: Alternative Transportation Human actively chose this and it’s not your job to fix a problem that doesn’t exist. So back off and find someone else to save from the horrors of walking and breathing fresh air for an extra mile or enjoying a book on the bus.

If you are an Overly Concerned Driver, please stop forcing your rides on the Alternative Transportation Human.