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17. July 2017

Trump Blames Hillary For Destruction of Mosul and Demands That She Pay for Its Reconstruction; Trump Goes After Sen. Flake Big Time; Spicer Is Angling for a Dis

BAGHDAD — Accompanied only by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, Donald Trump stopped by Baghdad’s Green Zone earlier today on his way back from Sochi, where he was lavishly entertained
by his close personal friend, Russian President Vladimir Putin.

And with only Jones to protect him, Trump, who was in the highly protected Green Zone for barely ten minutes, gave a vitriolic anti-Hillary speech to Iraq’s president, Haider al-Abadi, and his
Minister of Defence, Erfan al-Hiyali.

Trump claimed (only partially correctly) during his 2016 presidential campaign that he had opposed W’s Iraq war from the outset, but today, he refused to allow al-Abadi and al-Hiyali to speak
before getting back on his magic carpet.

Last year, Senator Bernie Sanders (Independent-Vermont (read: never a true blue Democrat)) repeatedly dinged former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for voting in October 2002 in favor of W's
Iraq War resolution when she represented the Empire State. Bernie voted against it, much to the delight of the progressive wing of the Democratic Party, especially when the non-Democrat ran
against Hillary.

In the most dramatic portion of his speech, Trump told al-Abadi and al-Hiyali that the responsibility for the multibillion-dollar reconstruction of Mosul lies with Hillary because she voted for
W’s war. This was very exciting news for al-Abadi and al-Hiyali, who promptly filed suit against Hillary in the World Court, only Bill Clinton immediately sprang into action and got the
ungodly lawsuit against his wife dismissed, leaving the Iraqis in the lurch once more.

On his magic carpet, Trump told Jones that, since only 50% of GOP voters think that he acts in a presidential manner, “I like being away from my White House, even though The Trump Organization
has its offices there, at least according to your close personal friend, the solitary reporter.”

“Now all I need to do is get Jeff Flake — you know, the junior senator from Arizona — to haul McCain out of his hospital bed down there in Phoenix so both of them can support my take-down of
Obamacare.”

“Flake knows full well that because he is wavering against me on that one, that I have been seriously vetting three Republican candidates to run against him next year.”

“Anybody who crosses me will suffer the full wrath of my office and, even worse, no such person can ever again come into any of my casinos or play golf on any of my golf courses.”

“Gotta hit people where it really hurts.”

Back at the White House, beleaguered and soon-to-be reassigned Press Secretary Sean Spicer doggedly continued to deny that anything wrong was done when Trump Junior and his entourage met with at
least two Russians on June 9 in Trump Tower last year.

Clearly, Spicer is angling for a disability retirement because he has had to endure a big league amount of criticism from the media.