Friday, August 23, 2013

You know you have lowered your standards when you take your kids to
Disneyland and.....

1. You buy a fanny pack, feel like a dork wearing it, then kind of start
liking it by the 2nd day.

It is kind of like crocs. You know
you shouldn't like it but secretly you still kind of wish it was cool.

2. You eat carmel apples and churros
your entire vacation but somehow rationalize it....."Hey, at least I am
not the person that has to ride a jazzy yet."

3. You beg your kids to go on "It's a small world" ride because
it has air conditioning.

The sad part is, I have done all 3 of the above during this vacation.

And, I am not embarrassed to say.....I have my fanny pack ready for
tomorrow. I need to leave early to make sure I get in the churro line and get a
few small world rides in (I now know the song in 3 languages).r entire vacation but somehow rationalize
it....."Hey, at least I am not the person that has to ride a jazzy
yet."
3. You beg your kids to go on "It's a small world" ride because it
has air conditioning.

The sad part is, I have done all 3 of the above during this vacation.
And, I am not embarrassed to say.....I have my fanny pack ready for tomorrow. I
need to leave early to make sure I get in the churro line and get a few small
world rides in.

Day
2 of Disneyland Vacation:

Disneyland update...

These are things I
had to question while at Disneyland today:

1. How do people
afford Disneyland tickets yet can't afford a brush or deodorant?

2. Why come to
Disneyland if you ride a jazzy and can't go on rides? I understand if you have
grandkids, but I saw couples that just went by themselves. Why not just go to a
movie or something?

3. The lady that
had a stroller with no kids in it, yet had two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts
strapped in. I am sorry....but that is weird. I love donuts too but 2 dozen? In
a stroller?

4. Why do couples
with no kids buy Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse ears to wear around Disneyland? I
don't even let my kids wear that kind of stuff (then again, I have no room to
talk as I have been sporting my fanny pack).

5. Why do adults
hog the line to get pictures taken with the Disney Characters? I understand we
all want to see Mini but seriously? To the lady in the Mini Mouse ears who took
10 minutes worth of pictures and is over the age of 40. That is not normal. My
kids (6 and 7) and the other 100 kids in line even thought you were weird. And,
WHY do you need to get Donald Ducks signature? HE IS NOT REAL.

6. To the guy with
the short shorts who has hung out by the hotel for hours at a time, pretending
to have a cell phone and pretending to have a conversation on your fake phone.
What is that all about? How do you get to that point? I have hit some low
points in my life, but nothing a king sized candy bar couldn't solve. Why in
the world would you choose Disneyland to be homeless? People here have already
spent their money on tickets and are in bad moods from waiting in lines all
day. You are better off to go to a nice tropical spot with couples who don't
have kids and will actually give you their money.

7. How can those
Disney characters wear those hot costumes in this heat? I was tempted to wear a
sports bra and let my stretch marks hang out I was so hot (my husband talked me
out of it....thankfully). The only way I could wear a hot Disney costume is if
it helped me lose weight. And, if this is in fact what it does.....we should
market it for a new Disney Diet Plan.

8. Lastly, to the
couple who got married at Disneyland and wore a tux and veil on all the rides.
That is messed up!!! Love Disneyland, Enjoy Disneyland, but……you don’t get
married there.

Well, I am off to
go see the Disney Parade. I am sure I will have a post about this when I get
back.

Day
3 of Disneyland Vacation:

Last Disneyland update/advice.

This is for all
the Disneyland moms I saw at the parade........

Just because you can squeeze (and I mean SQUEEZE) into
short shorts and a halter top doesn't mean you should actually wear it. And, if
you are over the age of 30 and have children....wear a bra in public.

I would love to
wear this type of clothing too, but we need to know our limitations.

Muffin top = No
halter top

Legs that rub
together when walking= No Short Shorts

After Birthing
Children= wear a bra....preferably one with underwire

I am not ripping on others, I have to follow these rules
too. I have realized with age that the only way I can stay cool in the hot
weather is to pour bottled water on myself. Halter tops and short shorts are
not the answer for me anymore. Be considerate of others and buy a water bottle.