Friday, May 25, 2007

Damn, I think Blogger is going to blow up with all these freaking posts I have done tonight. I know I have not been keeping you all updated lately and I apologize. Working two jobs is kicking my ass. However, I had some free time after cleaning and before sleeping, so I thought I better get my ass to typing.

My new job (which I think I will permanently refer to as "that test grading thing") is going fantastic. Some of the people are a little ... odd. The first project didn't go so great, and thought "what the hell have I gotten myself into now?" I really didn't like my "team leader" and I was trying, with some failure, to adjust to the new way of grading and the new type of papers I was grading. I recently found in the bottom of my purse a scribbled rant wrote around that transitioning time about the people there:

"Dear susie sonofabitch,I can't stand listening to you chomp and chew on your fucking Styrofoam rice cakes. Clicking and clacking your claw-like fake nails furiously on the computer keyboard like a pissed off wood pecker going to town on a tin roof. Hearing your nasally voice moving around the break room whining into your cellphone "can you hear me know?" like a bad parody of an even more annoying commercial.love,- Lo."

I feel better know though. I have met some really nice people and am working pretty steady. I think I will have projects to do until the end of July. Then ... I have no idea. I really don't know what I am going to do once I have to go back to full time at the store. I can barely stand showing up 3 times a week. By the way, I will announce it now: stand corrected! I can'tt work more than 23 hours. I should not have complained about not getting 30 hours. I barely want to show up now as it is. I Am glad I only got scheduled 23 hours a week. It's pretty nice not giving a shit, and not having to give a shit. I get to do the bare minimum and that's it. Not too shabby.

An update on my health: I had a recent doctors appointment to get a prescription refilled. Yep, I have to make an appointment and go see her to get stuff refilled. ($$$) Anyway, while I was there I decided to do some "spring cleaning."

Remember the 'lady problem' I have been having lately? The never-ending lady problem? Yea. Last time I saw her, she told me I had to research what birth control pills I wanted to be on and find out the generic names of them before she would prescribe them to me. I did all that (with some help from Maggie).

Months later, at the appointment, she could have cared less what pill I wanted. I could have chosen any! Plus, I didn't need the generic name. All I needed to do was tell the pharmacist that I wanted generic and voila! $10! All these years being miserable because I couldn't afford $35, only to find out that generic has been available the whole time!! Things haven't improved for me yet, (and I am sure I am not protected yet boys!) However, it hasn't quite been a month, so I am hoping this gets all cleared up soon.

Now for my spanking. Have been with holding information from ya'll. I don't know why I haven't been open and telling about it, I just wished to keep it kind of quiet. I certainly wasn't trying to hide it, I was just tired of having "something wrong with me". I guess I figured that if I didn't tell anyone about it, maybe it wouldn't go badly.

See, for the past few years, I have had these ... heart palpitations. I will just be hanging out, working, trying to sleep, etc when all of a sudden my heart seems to skip a beat. I couldn't figure any cause of it (exertion, caffeine, stress), so I of course ignored it. I think my heart would have to be hanging out of my bellybutton before I would think to go to a doctor to see what was up!

Well, a couple of months ago the palps starting increasing in frequency. Then, one night at work I had a really bad episode and almost blacked out & passed out. Since I used to be a smoker, I am overweight, I have bad heart issues on both sides of the family, and my grandmother had to have a pacemaker to combat an irregular heartbeat, I figured it was time to mention it.

The doc sent me a cardiologist who took things really seriously. The short of a long story is: I have a really fast heart rate (around 100 bpm with the average being around 60-90 bpm) and pretty okay blood pressure. He ran some blood work and everything looked good (cholesterol, potassium, etc). I had to take a stress test that involved a (quite painful) ultrasound of my heart, followed by a monitored stint on the treadmill, followed by another (I mean, I have bruises!) painful ultrasound. The results looked good though, everything is structurally alright with my heart.

I have to wear an "event monitor" for 30 days. Basically it is this cool little machine that I wear 24-7. I put a little sticky on my chest, and one under my left breast. Then I snap little electrodes onto them and put the monitor in my pocket. Whenever I get a palpitation or feel my heart doing the funky chicken, I press record. It records for 60 seconds -- like a mini EKG. Once I get one or two recordings saved, I call a 1-800 number and talk to a tech who takes some info from me like what I was doing and what my symptoms were. Then, I put the phone to the monitor and press send. It screeches and beeps like a fax machine having sex with an internet connection. Then that is it! Pretty cool contraption.

I have only recorded one thing so far, and my skin is breaking out into hive-like blotches from having to wear those electrodes. I must be allergic to the adhesive. So wearing it is a pain in the ass, but if it shows something, then great. In 30 days, I just mail the thing and they will look at what I sent and let me know where to go from there.

In the meantime, he prescribed me a medication to lower my heart rate. For some reason, I am afraid to take it. So I am going to wait until after I send back the monitor to fill it. Apparently it makes you really tired for the first few weeks so I want to be done working the two jobs so that I am not dragging and doing really poor work.

Needless to say, I also need to lose some major weight. let's just say I was WELL over what I thought I weighed. I have always told myself that I would never panic about my weight unless I went over a particular number. I have blown past that number by about 15 pounds.

I am doing good though. I am starting to eat better, and exercising. I think I will buy an at-home exercise DVD (that I can tolerate without being really annoyed) and start doing workouts at home, as well as taking regular walks. I may even look into whether I can afford to join a health club again. I used to do water aerobics at a place that is now right across the street from me, and I loved it! I think it is only $15/month, so I might be able to swing it.

If anyone wants to start getting more active with me, I need all the help and motivation I can get. I hate exercise, I hate sweating, I hate hot summer days, and I love ice cream. However, I am ONLY doing this to be healthier. Weight-loss is only a nice side effect of keeping my heart and knees healthy. I think this mind frame is what will keep me going in all this. I need to feel young again because I AM YOUNG! DAMN IT!

Oh, and the hot dude that I work with is certainly motivation too! More about him in a later post...

The hot mama wearing the visor is my good friend Donna. She is a big supporter of the Susan Komen race and walk for the cure. According to her website she will be be participating in the:

"Susan Komen 3 Day Walk for the Cure November 9-11 in San Diego. I'll be walking 60 miles in 3 days! But I have a lot of work to do before that, like getting in shape, and collecting the $2,200 in pledges that I need. Please visit my Official HQ page at

Please visit Donna's brand new and purty blog at http://donnasblogforthecure.blogspot.com/Send her some love and if you can, please donate a small bit to her cause. As you can see, she needs to raise quite a bit of money and can't do it alone. If you visit her Official HQ page, you can make a donation. It is quick and easy, and you can donate any amount -- even $5.

She didn't ask me to post this and will probably kill me for doing so. However, she is a dear friend and anything I can do to help, I shall. I personally have already donated to her pledges and if everyone out there just donated 5 bucks, we could get her walking that 60 miles. Plus, she will get to visit with her brand new grand-baby boy!

I have been sitting on this post for awhile. I just haven't had the time to fully dedicate my anger toward this on going issue. Well, look out bitches because I got the time now!

Recently while I was at work, a co-worker came up to me with some disturbing information. She said a customer had just came up to her with a book from our Gay and Lesbian book section that had a religious tract on the inside. Don't know what a tract is? Here is some (quite) interesting information on tracts that I got from Wikipedia:

As religious literature, they were used throughout the turbulence of the Protestant Reformation, and various uphevals of the 17th century. They came to such prominence again in the Oxford Movement that it became known as Tractarianism, after the publication in the 1830s and 1840s of a series of religious essays collectively called Tracts for the Times.

These tracts were written by a group of Church of England clergy including John Henry Newman, John Keble, Henry Edward Manning, and Edward Pusey. They were theological discourses that sought to establish the continuity between the Church of England and the patristic period of church history. They had a vast influence on Anglo-Catholicism. They were learned works and varied in length from four to over 400 pages.[1] An important center for the spreading of tracts was the London-based Religious Tract Society.[2] Tracts were used both within England - affecting the conversion of pioneer missionary to China, Hudson Taylor - as well as in the cross cultural missions movements such as Taylor founded: the China Inland Mission. Charles Spurgeon wrote many tracts, and in addition to these evangelical writings, his "Penny Sermons" were printed weekly and distributed widely by the millions and used in a similar way.

The publishing of tracts for religious purposes has continued unabated. In the United States, the American Tract Society has continuously published literature of this type since 1825. As evangelistic tools, tracts became promininent in the Jesus movement. One of the most widely distributed was "The Four Spiritual Laws" authored by Bill Bright of Campus Crusade for Christ and first published in 1965. "This Was Your Life" was the first of many tracts written by Jack Chick. Later Chick tracts followed the pattern vivid cartoon images and began to focus on vehement Anti-Catholic opinions.

In the 1980s and 1990s Last Days Ministries reprinted articles in the Last Days Newsletter by Keith Green and other contemporary and historic writers including David Wilkerson, Leonard Ravenhill, Winkie Pratney, Charles Finney, John Wesley, and William Booth. More recently Living Waters Publications prints tracts such as "The Atheist Test" or "Are You Good Enough to Go to Heaven?", as well as tracts which feature attention-getting illusions or gags. These include the "Million Dollar Bill", which caused a legal controversy in June 2006.

Brochure-like tracts, also known as pamphlets, advocating political positions have also been used throughout history as well. They were used throughout Europe in the 17th century. In the 18th century, they featured prominently in the political unrest leading up to the American Revolution. A well-known example of a far-reaching tracts from this era is Common Sense by Thomas Paine.

Tracts were used for political purposes throughout the 20th century. They were used to spread Nazi propaganda in central Europe during the 1930s and 1940s. According to Jack Chick, his impetus to design cartoon-based religious tracts was brought on by hearing of a similar promotional tool used by Communists in China to wide success. [3] In the months before the John F. Kennedy assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald handed out pamphlets promoting Fidel Castro and Communist Cuba on the streets of New Orleans, Louisiana.

I've never seen any political tracts, just the religious ones. They are fucking everywhere: under your windshield wipers, given to waitresses as tips, and books. This co-worker and I went through every single GLBT book in that section and found over 10 tracts folded inside various books. Many of the tracts had the words "Death" or "Heaven or Hell?" in big letters on the front.

I went to our New Age section, and by God, there were more of those suckers inside books on Wicca, Witchcraft, Magical Arts, Astrology and Occult. Let's just say I was PPIISSEEDD!!

Of course, there is not a whole hell of a lot that you can do to stop these terrorists. If you don't see them placing something inside of books, you can't punish them or stop them. Idounderstand that my employer can't set up signs that say "please refrain from placing your hate into our publications". I would love to know if anyone has ever been "saved" from reading one of these!

I just wish more can be done. It breaks my heart to imagine the poor person who innocently opens their Lesbian parenting guide book only to find a pamphlet telling them they are going to Hell. They do not deserve to experience that and no matter how hard you think your heart is, hate still hurts. To be honest it would make me not want to go back to that store, even if it wasn't the fault of the business but the fault of their ignorant, simple minded, hate-filled, inbred, hypocritical customers.

Don't get me wrong, I think religion can be down right beautiful. If you have that peace in your heart and you come from a pure place, then I can honor that. It is when hate and judgment are being thrown at people in God's name. He who is without sin, cast the first stone. If I need saving, I will find you. There is a fucking church on every corner. I don't mean to pick on the Christians because many religions have those holier than thou people who perform atrocities in the name of religion. By the way, what does Hell look like Mr. Fallwell?

So, what can I DO? Well, every week I go through those sections of the bookstore and remove any hate pamphlets I find and pitch them. I also thought about scanning the tracts I found to show you what they looked like, but I thought better of it. However, I think we should write, or call or e-mail these folks and let them know just how much their words mean to us. I even thought about grabbing a whole bunch of subscription cards from gay magazines and feminist magazines and signing them up for subscriptions. (wink, wink)

"This prayer card answers a request from Our Lady that prayer cards be distributed throughout America so that all might know she has come here and wishes to be known as Our Lady of Light. To honor her request and help to distribute her prayer cards, write to:"Our Lady of Light Prayer CardPO Box 176236Covington, KY 41017859-331-9393

To all of you tract passers: As Frank Zappa once sang, "Jesus thinks you're a jerk."

**The title of my post comes from an actual book in the Christianity section. Don't believe me? Check it out right here. The title cracks my shit up every time!**

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Not only do I love watching and reading about crab fishing and commercial fishing of all kinds, I actually care about the men and women behind the stories I love so much.

May 6th is a special day. The following blurb is from the Seattle Fisherman's Memorial to honor those who have gone to sea, only to never return. May they rest in peace and may their families find solace someday. To read more, or donate just click the blue link above.

"In 1988, the Seattle Fishermen's Memorial dedicated a magnificent bronze and stone aggregate monument at Seattle's Fishermen's Terminal. The celebration culminated years of effort and generous contribution by Seattle's commercial fishing community. This towering sculpture and the bronze name plaques at its base have become a place of reverence, recognition and healing for the families of more than 670 local commercial fishermen and women who have lost their lives pursuing their livelihood since the turn of the century.

More than a tribute to an industry and the lives of its men and women, the monument fills a special need for commercial fishing families. In many instances, those who are lost at sea simply vanish, leaving their loved ones without a word or a trace. The construction of this monument has provided their memory a residence, a site for family and friends to visit, to place flowers, to reflect and to heal.

Each Spring, on the first Sunday of May, the Memorial hosts a service to honor all of those who have died at sea and to place additional names on the plaques. Sadly, commercial fishing remains the country's most dangerous profession, and new names have been added each year."

About Me

I am a 31 year old single big beautiful woman. I came from a small town to the big city to attend Ohio State University and get my culture on. I graduated with a degree in Women's Studies which means I am now doomed to a life of customer service work - which I tend to loathe, Hence the "Bitter" part. You can e-mail me at lothiantook@yahoo.com