Every morning I watch the Twin Cities news for weather, sports and to keep up on the latest social atrocities occurring in Minnesota’s Twin Hellholes. Once I am given the weather forecast, I next get the morning traffic report. I watch in a mixture of amusement and horror as the dimpled traffic reporter details the latest backups, along with video of people sitting in their daily interstate parking lot. My consistent thought is: What is wrong with you people?

There is life without traffic jams. There are jobs to be had and houses to be bought and lives to be lived out here in God’s country. Don’t spend your life stuck in traffic.