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January 15, 2009

heavy shit

I remember as a kid being fascinated with what it would be like to measure things. Not just to kind of know in a general roundabout kind of know, but know in the most minute detail. And it wasn't just amazing stuff I wanted measured, like how long I'd been snogging for. It was just life. Everything. Extraordinary, and, more pointedly, ordinary.

I always imagined it as some kind of report you'd get given after death. 'Mr Heaver, you spent 27 Years, six days, 13 minutes and 12 seconds asleep from popping out to popping off,' or 'during your life £8 874 329 852.11 went through your personal finances.'

Now I find out I'm not alone. (That keeps happening). There's a large number of people (as yet unquantified) quantifying their lives. It kicked off with nicholas feltron and his annual report, telling us how far he'd run, how many texts he'd made, and loads more banal stuff.

Now it's snowballed into daytum which is only in beta, but is being blogged to bollockery all over the place as people scramble to get accepted and measure their lives.

And it goes on. Wattson is a great gadget that measures your electricity use as you use it. Turn on a light and the dial flicks over. Left the landing light on? That's an extra £8.

The idea is that by measuring - showing your working - it becomes competitive, you battle yourself to be better. Feltron is already on record as saying each year he has to perform to a greater degree than before. And I bet parents everywhere would love a Wattson to get kids to turn off the tv. It's game theory. Blessed are the geeks, for they are inheriting the earth.

But the best. By far the best. Oh my. It's genius in product form.

Is this.

That's right. It's a loo seat that measures your poo.

Jump on, and you're given your weight. Proceed as normal. Look down to your right. And there you have it. Your new, improved weight. You can see, in figures, how much you've just lost.

I would have loved this as a kid. What am I saying? I would love this now.

What I'd like to see though, is a zero function. It may be there, but I alas haven't tested it yet. Like you get on kitchen scales - put a bowl on, zero the scales, then add your flour/sugar/gravel. Ie, it's not about your actual weight, but how much you've lost. You go from zero to, I don't know, minus 2.5kg. That sounds a lot. I have no idea how much poo weighs.

Comments

heavy shit

I remember as a kid being fascinated with what it would be like to measure things. Not just to kind of know in a general roundabout kind of know, but know in the most minute detail. And it wasn't just amazing stuff I wanted measured, like how long I'd been snogging for. It was just life. Everything. Extraordinary, and, more pointedly, ordinary.

I always imagined it as some kind of report you'd get given after death. 'Mr Heaver, you spent 27 Years, six days, 13 minutes and 12 seconds asleep from popping out to popping off,' or 'during your life £8 874 329 852.11 went through your personal finances.'

Now I find out I'm not alone. (That keeps happening). There's a large number of people (as yet unquantified) quantifying their lives. It kicked off with nicholas feltron and his annual report, telling us how far he'd run, how many texts he'd made, and loads more banal stuff.

Now it's snowballed into daytum which is only in beta, but is being blogged to bollockery all over the place as people scramble to get accepted and measure their lives.

And it goes on. Wattson is a great gadget that measures your electricity use as you use it. Turn on a light and the dial flicks over. Left the landing light on? That's an extra £8.

The idea is that by measuring - showing your working - it becomes competitive, you battle yourself to be better. Feltron is already on record as saying each year he has to perform to a greater degree than before. And I bet parents everywhere would love a Wattson to get kids to turn off the tv. It's game theory. Blessed are the geeks, for they are inheriting the earth.

But the best. By far the best. Oh my. It's genius in product form.

Is this.

That's right. It's a loo seat that measures your poo.

Jump on, and you're given your weight. Proceed as normal. Look down to your right. And there you have it. Your new, improved weight. You can see, in figures, how much you've just lost.

I would have loved this as a kid. What am I saying? I would love this now.

What I'd like to see though, is a zero function. It may be there, but I alas haven't tested it yet. Like you get on kitchen scales - put a bowl on, zero the scales, then add your flour/sugar/gravel. Ie, it's not about your actual weight, but how much you've lost. You go from zero to, I don't know, minus 2.5kg. That sounds a lot. I have no idea how much poo weighs.