I need a day off. I know, we all do, but I am special and especially tired, so could somebody please arrange for a holiday for me? One, preferably, where all I have to do is lay down and eat chocolate and watch bad television?

I would like that.

In the meantime, here is a half-assed summary of things that you should be considering as you go about your Thursday:

2) Are you able to go more than a day or two without eating meat? I could, if I wasn’t pregnant, and if I hadn’t recently spent a few days in Montreal, where I was unable to go more than a few hours without eating poutine (fries and cheese curds drenched in a rich gravy that I’m pretty sure was once intimately acquainted with a cow.) I’m ordinarily pretty veggie, but hells if this fetus doesn’t like him some gravy with his bacon.

4) Why is the entertainment media so prone to evil? Why do I regress to my youthful – and more or less misguided – Marxism (capitalism has alienated us from our very souls; revolt, revolt) when I read stories about shit like THIS?