So Designer Platform Crocs Are Now a Thing… And They Cost $850

Balenciaga, if you’re not aware, is a Spanish fashion brand that’s basically just trolling everyone at this point, and the latest evidence is this monstrosity that costs $850. That’s right, and they actually sold out at that price!

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Remember the dark, dark day when Crocs came out? Middle-aged mums worldwide were immediately into them, knowing they’d be perfect for their gardening, while four-year-old kids could just about get away with them as they ran around the park. After all these years, we thought Crocs quietly faded into obscurity, but it turns out that they’re not only very much alive and well, they also come as platform shoes these days. “Who would make such an atrocity?” you might ask. Well friends, Balenciaga has your back.

The platform crocs look stupid (to me), but I feel sorry for anyone who is not a middle-aged mum who has discovered crocs. Foot-shaped shoes that cradle my feet like bubbles of air! Yum! Where were they all my life?

1

Mr. JudgypantsJanuary 31, 2020

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and everyone can do as they please, however… I am 100% confident that if the exact same shoes were made in China and sold in Walmart, instead of having been created by Balenciaga, those same people in the photos would never wear them and they’d laugh at those who do.

2

Koizoh RívelJanuary 31, 2020

Oedipus pierced his own eyes for far less.

3

Lurking CowardFebruary 1, 2020

To Koizoh Rível… LOL!

AnonymousFebruary 3, 2020

Why are they making platform crocs? The regular ones get caught in escalators anyway. I guess these shoes are for people who want their feet crushed in style!