Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Condom pants!

First of all, balls seem kind of dirty. And hairy balls (don't get me started) are probably breeding grounds for all types of diseases. How come you don't see BallCondoms in stores? Do they make BallCondoms so we women can safely suck (hairless!) balls?

Although CondomPants seem a bit extreme, I would like to have sex with condoms made of impenetrable, Superman-like steal. And if for some reason this isn't enough, I would prefer the millions and millions and millions of little babies that men release then turn around and swim all over them, possibly into their condom pants - and far from my healthy ovaries.

I would also like to see more products to make men come more quickly. (Get ready, we're going to share) I can get off in less than two minutes, so by the time we get to minutes four and five, I'm ready for a sandwich and a nap.

A sandwich and a nap are far more appealing to me than waiting for some plowpoke guy to release his demon seed.

And I love cum (come?), I really do. I love cum all over me (just not my hair, nose and eyelashes) except near my ovaries. I imagine my ovaries having long tube-arms with suckers on the ends, inhaling like a super-Hoover when sperm gets anywhere near them. They may also suck at condoms, and that's why they should probably be superglued on at the base before each sexual encounter.

ah, i get it now. i think a lot of guys can probably do it many times if they take a break in between. but for me, if i had a girl willing to keep going, yes i could come again without a break, it would just take awhile. ... like 30 minutes or more...

and yes, the fantasy is almost always better than the reality. otherwise we wouldn't call it fantasy ;)