Amanda Jacobs: Not a completely happy Halloween

Tuesday

Oct 27, 2009 at 12:01 AMOct 27, 2009 at 7:11 AM

When I was little, I loved Halloween. After all, there’s really no other day when it’s acceptable for children to wear costumes — sometimes even at school — and run around taking candy from the neighbors. However, not all of my Halloween memories are happy ones.

Amanda Jacobs

When I was little, I loved Halloween. After all, there’s really no other day when it’s acceptable for children to wear costumes — sometimes even at school — and run around taking candy from the neighbors.

However, not all of my Halloween memories are happy ones. I was always terribly disappointed when the weather interfered with my trick-or-treating. One year, for example, the rain caused the feather in the headband of my can-can dancer costume to keep falling in my face.

I decided to dress up as Belle the year that Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” came out, and, much to my chagrin, so did dozens of other girls at my school — and I had thought I was so original. To add insult to injury, the cold weather forced me to wear a coat over my costume when I was trick-or-treating, so no one knew who I was.

My worst Halloween ever was the year I had a broken arm. It was difficult and a little painful to run with my big cast jostling around, so the other kids in my trick-or-treating group abandoned me.

Plus, I was dressed as Mr. Peanut for some reason, and that just made the lonely walk back to my house 10 times worse.

These days, my feelings on Halloween are closer to those of a dejected Mr. Peanut than those of a Disney Princess with gold shoes that match her dress (before she goes to school and sees everyone else in the same outfit).

My idea of a pleasant evening does not involve answering the door every two seconds to pass out free candy and compliment children’s costumes. Some of the older kids aren’t even trying anymore — a cheap mask worn with your regular clothes does not earn you a Reese’s, buddy.

And when the candy runs out, pretending you’re not home and hoping you won’t get egged is slightly terrifying.

To avoid the hordes of trick-or-treaters, adults can throw on their own costumes and attend a Halloween party. I do enjoy the chance to come up with an funny or unique costume — my favorite was an ‘80s prom dress complemented by big hair — but I don’t really like hanging out somewhere that looks like a brothel.

After all, another great name for Halloween would be “The Day That Every Woman Gets a Free Pass to Dress Like a Streetwalker.” Every female costume seems to have the word “sexy” tacked on to the front of it: Sexy Schoolgirl! Sexy Nurse! Sexy Ax Murderer! On any other day of the year, it would be socially unacceptable for women to dress so provocatively — unless they belong to a select few professions — but on Halloween it’s practically a requirement.

Of course, you don’t need a costume to visit a haunted house, and there are plenty of impressive haunts around here. Luckily for all of the other patrons, I will not be visiting any of them.

The few times that I have been coerced into visiting a haunted house, I have made a complete and utter fool of myself. I am a world-class scaredy-cat, and the blood-curdling screams that I am capable of producing are just as scary as any haunted attraction.

I’m not sure why people enjoy being scared. I certainly don’t. I hate the feeling of being on edge because something could jump out at you at any moment. And even if you’re prepared for that thing to jump out, it’s still terrifying when it happens.

So, I’m baffled by the idea that people actively seek out frightening situations like haunted houses or scary movies. What they see as an adrenaline rush, I see as unnecessary stress.

Maybe that’s my main problem with Halloween: I’m just a big wimp. But least I have the courage to admit it.

Pekin Daily Times city editor Amanda Jacobs can be reached at (309) 346-1111 or ajacobs@pekintimes.com.

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