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Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Stickability, Wobbles and Deep Breaths

We were all really looking forward to craft club this morning as we knew we were going to be having a go at decoupage - and cutting and sticking is always fun! However, after Youngest had cut just a few things out and stuck them on, he completely ran out of interest, choosing instead to run around & explore. I managed to cut a couple more bits and persuaded him to help me stick them on (he loves the messy stuff), but he really had had enough and I found myself doing it on my own in the end! Eldest also needed lots of coaching along. He didn't want to add a coat of PVA on top of the pictures, no matter how much I tried to persuade him that the finished product would look better. I think once he'd stuck the biggest pictures on that he wanted, and saw Youngest running around he decided he wanted to be doing the same. Middle (as usual) held his focus for the longest - he knew what he wanted to do, and he carried on until it was done. He didn't want to do the final coat either though, so all three boxes still need finishing off really, although as long as the boys like them, I guess that's all that matters - not whether or not they look like my vision of what could have been achieved!

The 'running around' that followed was encouraging from a 'socialising' point of view - they were totally relaxed and playing really nicely with the other children there. However, the experience kind of reiterated my concerns of the last few days really - feeling frustrated by the shortness of the boys' attention spans, or their inability to stick to a task they have started - and my not having a clue about how to tackle it in a helpful and meaningful way. The things is, it's not like being in school would help them - they just used to get bored by having to complete seemingly pointless goals, and would either daydream or get destructive - so I'm not thinking Home Ed is wrong for them, I'm just wondering how to try to deal with it... or if I should even bother. As another Home Edder on Facebook commented, "the ability to stop when you are no longer interested in something is also important", and she's right, of course - I just think a few minutes (the average time that my lot seem to spend on anything new) isn't really enough to decide if something is worth doing... is it? So I'm having a bit of a wobble.

I do know that we are still in the "deschooling period", so there is no pressure *takes relaxing deep breath* - and I'm also aware that this 'wobbling' has been provoked by the responses to an article I posted a link to the other day: Seven Lessons I Teach. I still think this is a really helpful article, but not all of the responses to it were so appreciative. Admittedly only one of the negative ones (from an American professor) spoke from personal experience - the others seemed to be speaking from uninformed prejudice against HE, using personal attacks and insults. However, it made me think more (not a bad thing) - it's the first time I've felt the need to justify Home Ed as a philosophy (I know, that's a rare thing, and I do appreciate how blessed I am to have the support of everyone around us). The only argument that I felt had any validity was the afore-mentioned American professor who said that from his experience, home-schooled students "are very rarely competent or well-trained scholars... not infrequently have a wayward approach to study... and usually do not know how to deal with their peers when it comes to debate and group learning". I have to admit that the thought of this proving true for my boys does bother me... but why? After all, academia is not an end in itself. Surely academic success is a means to an end: a qualification is lovely if it is useful, but what's the point of it otherwise? Just to prove that you have brains? I think it's the "rarely a competent scholar" bit that bothers me (the "wayward approach to study" - well, who cares how they study as long as it works for them? My own approach was pretty wayward, and I went through the state system)... but I wonder what he means by competent scholar. My immediate assumption is one who is disciplined in their approach to research and who can study until understanding is attained - but is that because it's at the front of my mind at the moment? If I go back to my thoughts from this past weekend, I just need to remind myself that the point of Home Education is we learn as we go along. Where my boys are at now is not where they'll be in five-to-ten years time. As other more experienced Home Edders have reassured me, a reluctant learner can and will turn into an enthusiastic learner (or dare I say, 'competent scholar'?) when faced with something that interests them (and if it doesn't interest them - why bother?) *takes another deep breath*. The main thing is to find out what interests them, by presenting them with a whole raft of potentially interesting things, and then equip them with everything they need to pursue those interests.

So back to this morning... the fact is, the boys did stick with their sticking this morning - for as long as they wanted to - and just because it wasn't as long as I wanted them to, why is that wrong? Well - it isn't. Just because the venue is booked for two hours, it doesn't mean they have to fill that two hours with one designated activity, just to satisfy some strange sense of obligation. In fact, having taken photos of their boxes to post here, I think they look really great! If I insist that what they have done isn't finished when they think it is, I risk instilling a sort of disappointed perfectionism in them - a sense of it 'never being good enough' which can lead to 'what's the point of trying?' And that is so far from what I want for them - boy, do I ever just need to relax! So,*blows raspberry* at American professor with his academic point and *rolls eyes* at my own fretting. Not only are we deschooling, we're also learning all the time - and we're doing just fine!

PS Having just posted this, I found a blog that could have been written especially for me today, by one of my favourite Home Ed writers, so I'm sharing it here: Imagine (Ross Mountney)

8 comments:

It's truly moving to have your lovely feedback, thank you! And all the very best wishes for your home ed journey. Try not to worry too much and give yourselves time. There is NO need to rush an education or have it 'done' by a certain time just because schools do it that way. School ways aren't the only ways remember and other ways work just as well. All the home ed kids we've 'grown up' with are proof of that! x

Rach..take your boys age and add 2 mins, this is about the normal attention span for their age.

Gee that professor hasn't met my eldest son, if he thinks Home Educated children can't debate LOL. I think family is a great place to learn to debate, its a safe environment that even when harsh things are said they are soon forgotten.

Hiya, I also think its worth mentioning how much the routine and rules of school really effect children, I've noticed with my oldest who's only 7 and already school has had a huge impact on her with regard to having to obey rather than thinking for herself. i think it takes a while to lose that and for them to find themselves again.

Thanks - and yes you're right. I think Eldest (who has prompted the most concern re: preseverence), although he wasn't traumatised by school, really did lose himself a bit there. I need to stick patiently with the deschooling & give him chance to find himself again :)

I've just discovered your blog and just wanted to say hi. I've also only just started homeschooling our youngest boy who is 9 (he came out of school just before the Easter hols) so its always nice to find someone in the same boat! Rachel x

Hi Rachel, nice to meet you! Thanks for visiting my lil blog... feel free to drop in as often as you like with comments, questions, or just to enjoy the ride with me :) All the best for your HE journey with your son xx

About Me

Mum to 3 boys, wife to 1 husband, and previously known as Home Ed Novice.
Our boys (now aged 15, 11 & 9) were de-registered from their small independent school (+ preschool) at the end of March 2012, when we started our home education journey. We enjoy a slightly-structured seasonal style of HE with the younger two, while Eldest has now moved on to exam studies.
Whoever you are and however you've found this blog, welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride :)
PS for other Home Ed'ors - I've read enough blogs to know that if I'm having an insecure day they can make me feel inadequate. I hope you don't feel that way here. Your journey probably won't look like mine because your family has different needs and abilities, and that's what makes Home Ed great :)