Question

What should I do? I caught my 5year old letting his 1 1/2 year old brother touch his private parts

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This is the first time I've caught my son in this act. I've spoken to him numerous times about the importance of one private parts. I'm very disgusted because I feel like he was taking advantage of his brother who does not know any better.

Mom Answers

I am not a parent yet; however, can I give my opinion as an elementary schoolteacher? I agree with the above poster that you need to look at his behavior as a whole. Is he having other problems? If so, be honest with yourself and face them (for example, by getting in to see a family counselor). If, however, he's a happy, normal 5-year old, and this is the only weird thing you've caught him doing, then I would really REALLY try not to make a big deal out of it. If this was a few days ago, a 5-year old is barely going to remember the event. Have some casual talks (several) where you remind him, "Nobody else is allowed to touch your private parts, right?" and "Remember, we shouldn't see other people's penises!" Draw some pictures with him and have him circle "private" and "share" parts. But don't make it into a huge event, or you'll freak him out and probably make him want to do it more to see what all the fuss is about.

Sit down with him in a nonconfrontational sort of way and ask him about it. Make sure no one is taking advantage of him. Sometimes kids are just curious... sometimes they're acting out what's happened to them. Let your 5 year old know you love him no matter what. Until you get to the root of it make sure they are 100% supervised. I hope everything works out

Sometimes this is just regular curiosity. If your son is otherwise a good kid, doesn't mistreat his brother, or animals or his friends, or doesn't display signs of sexual abuse, then I would not make too much of it. Just remind your son that each person's body is personal and he should not allow anyone to touch his and likewise he should not touch anyone else's.

Well if my 2 year old and I are in the shower together and he touches my penis I let him. He's just curious and it isn't sexual for him or myself. So perhaps the younger one was just curious and the older one was just allowing him to be so.

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