Winston wrote:Here rock explains to monkro why the dating scene in taiwan has gone to shit. The income and birthrate stats are shocking. Taiwan must have been a different world in 1985. Lol

Rock:

"My reply: Yes what I will write on this is just conjecture (a guess) but it would seem to fit in with a lot of our current beliefs regarding how external changes effect the dating and mating environment.

3. Smartphone and social media penetration
2000: People just starting to use the Internet for social contact (email) and simple cellphones (Taiwan was a late adopter in Asia).
2016: Virtually all young people have smartphones, chat apps, Facebook, etc.

Remember, young people at any point in history are not just product of current social environment but were also shaped during their formative years by things that happened a decade or more ago plus the values and attitudes transmitted to them from their parents who in turn were products of social environment from 20-40 years previously. So to get a handle on why young people might behave they way they do, you can examine now only how things have changed in last 15 years (today vs. 15 years ago) but also how things changed say 15 vs. 30-40 years ago.

Today's Taiwan provides much better environment for women's economic and emotional (validation and attention) needs than Taiwan did as you go back in time 15-30 years. Taiwan used to be a lower middle income country with much more of a third world feel than what it is now. Traditional non-communist Chines culture valued men over women and women and men were in general more masculine in attitude and outlook than now.

Another factor to consider is the dating market value a typical American male would have in Taiwan before vs. now. Back 15-30 years ago, an English teaching wage seemed quite high by local standards. It's remained fairly static even over time even though local wages have climbed dramatically. So that gap has closed. USA used to seem like a rich country relative to Taiwan. Not so anymore. And there was a long period in the 70s, 80s, and even 90s where American pop culture was considered uber cool. In general, a decent looking American male was considered unique and attractive by many of the young women in Taiwan. Someone with exotic status who represented rich and cool country which led much of the world's pop trends and fashions. So many women who were already dating Taiwan guys or in a so-so relationship or even a strong one would sometimes dump the Taiwan guy if they got the chance to catch an American guy. Others would engage in casual relationships with Americans, sometimes pretending to be single even, due to the factors just mentioned above.

Not all boyfriends are created equally. A certain percentage of girls have contingent boyfriends or dating partners who they will replace if a guy comes along who moves here emotionally. At least that used to be the case in Taiwan as I learned from direct first hand experience.

If you are seeking insight not just into Taiwan women but women in general and the whys behind their behavior, you need to download and read "The Unchained Male". Read that book or at least the sections on women, dating, and sex then tell me your thoughts on it all."

Please see this thread where I reorganized and edited the original text you posted above:

Wow look what a long time expat in taiwan wrote me about how shitty and terrible Chiayi is. Finally someone is bold enough to tell the truth:

"Anyway, I used to live in Chia-yi for seven years and I can see why you're not happy there. It's a horrible place. If you were to go around at night and meet up with some people in the foreign community, you'd find it to be very Klickish, kind of like high school in the US in fact. They even have a sports team. I can't tell you how much they have come to me looking for something, which I have always been glad to help them with, but when they have their social events, not a chance in hell of them bothering to contact me! So I said f**k them and I moved away!

But it's not just the foreign community. The local people have the social skills of cockroaches! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. And if you ever were to be dumb enough to marry a woman from that place--Oh my god the misery that will come to you! I know from experience and from several other people who did. So every time you meet a girl from that plastic infested cesspool of bullshit people, I strongly suggest you laugh, and walk away! And I'm not joking!

And this is not something that's unique to Chia-yi, the whole island is infested, and I should know because I've been all over it for the past 17 years! The only reason I'm in Hsinchu is because there's more money to be made here. And I can tell you, I'm not staying here too much longer!

As of now, my love life is very simple. I have a girlfriend from Indonesia. She is the best girl I've ever had. When her contract is over next April, I'm out of here and I'm taking her with me and we're going to Indonesia. In the meantime, I ignore Taiwanese women and I refuse to socialize with Taiwanese men. So that is my advice to any man here: Boycott Taiwanese women and especially boycott all these western bitches you find here teaching English. The best women here are the Indonesian and Filipina slaves. Work your ass off to save the money and get the hell out of here with one of those girls from South East Asia. Taiwanese girls are not worth the time of day! They might as well color their hair yellow, speak English, read feminazi propaganda and put on a hundred pounds while causing trouble at McDonald's for f***ing up the Big Mac! HAAAAA!

Anyway, you are free to put this on your forum, just leave out my name, I've got enough trouble to deal with here already besides being chased down be a bunch of brainwashed cell-phone zombie psycho Taiwanese psycho bitches!

But you are welcome at my home Winston. Give me a call while you're still here. I got abut a thousand more things to say about this f***ed country called Taiwan!"

Your Dad seems to a really enlightened guy. However, I like you am not sure that a supposedly worsening economy can be blamed for the repressed tenancies of modern youth in Taiwan. Basically what we are seeing is an increase in misanthropy. Technology is one cause, accentuating basic shyness and judgmenta-ism. I don't think the news here in Taiwan helps - it seems to make people scared of everything, including of course foreigners looking for babes. A woman was telling me that English teachers had a bad reputation for looking for girls in bars, so I should be careful. My counter was, oh yea, and what exactly is wrong with looking to hook up in bars?! Also I suspect the youth here is actually too spoiled and haven't really gone through hard times - yet

Often as a white guy I've heard Asians say we are sexually promiscuous to which I counter: Yes BEFORE marriage, unlike you guys where sex life takes off with MULTIPLE partners after marriage. Although this seems quite an aggressive thing to say - more often than not they agree with me.

However, as in response to your expat friend from Chiayi, I personally prefer Taiwan to Indonesia as a place to live. To be honest people here are pretty good to me, there just aren't the opportunities here that there are in China for money and girls or Indo for girls and travel...but man think WORK here - and people seem damn honest.

Hi all,
Me and El Caudillo met the other day. We got along great. He's very down to earth, aware and an honest freethinker. We agreed on a lot of things and had similar observations. Some of the things we agreed on were:

1. Taiwanese girls seem to lack curiosity. When you talk to them, they don't ask "Where are you from?" like girls in other Asian countries do.

2. They also don't put much into a conversation. If you start a conversation with them, they either try to end it as soon as they can, or put no effort into it. They just aren't into talking to strangers at all.

Yet in spite of all this, when you go out in Taiwan, you see couples everywhere, both young and old. And in most of these couples, the male is usually NOT attractive at all. Many of them are even less attractive than me. Yet they are usually with pretty/cute Taiwanese girls. How do you explain that? It's baffling. And it looks like any guy can get a girlfriend in Taiwan.

I can only think of these explanations:

1. In Taiwan, you are supposed to meet people at school and work, or through mutual friends only. Not by talking to strangers. Taiwanese girls prefer to date and befriend guys they went to school with or work with. That's what makes them COMFORTABLE. To them, being comfortable around a guy is everything. They'd prefer to talk to an ugly guy they know and went to school with and are comfortable with, than a handsome attractive stranger. This means if you are a stranger, you virtually have no chance, because Taiwanese females are uncomfortable, closed and stuck up toward strangers.

2. Life is determined mostly by destiny. If you aren't meant to be in Taiwan, you won't find a good dating or social life there and won't have a girlfriend or wife. If you are meant to be there, then God or the universe will send you a girlfriend or wife to be your companion. If something is meant to be, it will come naturally and in the flow of things. You can't just "make it happen".

3. Taiwanese and Westerners have a mental barrier that makes them too different to vibe together or connect at all. Taiwanese women seem like a different species, almost like alien clones with no soul or emotion, kind of like in the film "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" from 1978. So I can see why this would be. Plus when you see foreigners in Taiwan, they are usually hanging out with other foreigners, not local Taiwanese. Either that, or they are with Westernized Taiwanese or Asian Americans. This lends further credence to explanation #3. Basically, people who are too different do not feel comfortable with each other. They don't vibe well. Just like when a lion and a hyena meet out in the wild, they know right away that they are enemies, not friends, because they are competing species.

4. If you are unique and a freethinker, you will not connect with very many women anyway. Freethinkers are on a different wavelength than most people are. And Asian women especially tend to be staunch conformists to society, even more so than White women are. This means there will be very few Asian women who can relate to you if you're a freethinker or unique. Being unique also means you won't be able to connect with many people in general.

5. When you don't fit into a culture, you don't shine or radiate. Hence, you will have lower energy and not draw women as you would if you were in your element. Your self-esteem will be lower too since the culture does not validate you or bring out the best in you. Good luck doesn't happen to you when you are in an incompatible culture, and this includes girlfriends, because there's no synergy or chemistry with you and others.

El_Caudillo also said that he noticed that in Taiwan, when a white guy sees another white guy, they don't usually talk to each other or say hi. But in China, they usually do. It's as if the antisociality of Taiwan rubs off on white guys, so that they become the same, absorbing the Taiwanese habit of ignoring strangers and not being open.

We also notice the following truisms about middle class people in general.

1. Middle class people tend to be easily offended, more so than working class or lower class people.
2. Middle class people tend to be more politically correct, rather than truthful or brutally honest.
3. Their friendships tend to be superficial and not meaningful.
4. They tend to be snobby and judgmental and look down on others just because they are different.
5. They are cliquish in their social behavior and exclusive. Not very inclusive or open with strangers.
6. They prefer fake greetings and fake optimism, saying that they are always "doing great" when asked "How are you?"

But poor people who work in blue collar jobs tend not to adopt the above and are more real and less into political correctness. Have you all noticed all this too? It means that middle class people aren't easy to get along with, even if you're middle class yourself.

I come from an upper middle class background, yet I'm very down to earth, genuine, soulful and philosophical. And I'm not snobby or politically correct at all. How come? If we are all products of our environment, then how come I am not like other middle class people? It just goes to show that some of us are old souls and can transcend our environment.

We also agreed that Buddhism is a great way to cope with pain, but it does not give you life meaning or purpose. Just meditating all the time to find enlightenment isn't a real goal to live for or aspire to.

It looks like we are on the same page on a lot of things. So we are probably kindred spirits in many ways.

El_Caudillo wrote:Your Dad seems to a really enlightened guy. However, I like you am not sure that a supposedly worsening economy can be blamed for the repressed tenancies of modern youth in Taiwan. Basically what we are seeing is an increase in misanthropy. Technology is one cause, accentuating basic shyness and judgmenta-ism. I don't think the news here in Taiwan helps - it seems to make people scared of everything, including of course foreigners looking for babes. A woman was telling me that English teachers had a bad reputation for looking for girls in bars, so I should be careful. My counter was, oh yea, and what exactly is wrong with looking to hook up in bars?! Also I suspect the youth here is actually too spoiled and haven't really gone through hard times - yet

Often as a white guy I've heard Asians say we are sexually promiscuous to which I counter: Yes BEFORE marriage, unlike you guys where sex life takes off with MULTIPLE partners after marriage. Although this seems quite an aggressive thing to say - more often than not they agree with me.

However, as in response to your expat friend from Chiayi, I personally prefer Taiwan to Indonesia as a place to live. To be honest people here are pretty good to me, there just aren't the opportunities here that there are in China for money and girls or Indo for girls and travel...but man think WORK here - and people seem damn honest.

Yes I think that's a key word here: MISANTHROPY

I get the sense that people in Taiwan and America have developed a misanthropic attitude. A misanthrope is someone who dislikes people in general and tries to limit their social interaction with others to as little as possible, especially strangers. I get the sense of that attitude in America and Taiwan. People fundamentally dislike others, especially anyone they don't know. It's an attitude and rubs off on each other. Maybe it's in the energy field too, and people absorb it.

I also have some theories about the social disconnection in America and Taiwan, compared to their mother homelands of Europe and China, respectively, which have far better social connection and social life. Here they are. It's a multi-part theory:

The immigrants that went to America, from the early Pilgrims and Puritans to present day, were not the kind of people seeking social connection.

1. Firstly, the Pilgrims and Puritans who came to America in the early 1600's, by all accounts, seemed like uptight rigid repressed people. Not mainstream Christians, but a super repressive type. Religious fanatics tend to have issues. So these were probably not well adjusted people. England was a Protestant country, so why did they feel the need to leave it? If they were persecuted for their religion, it was probably cause they did something wrong or were abnormal or had unsavory practices that make them bad examples of Christians who took everything to the extreme. They are probably the foundational cause of why America is more uptight and puritanical than Europeans are. You can't even show a naked breast in an American magazine, whereas you can in Spain with no problem, for example. Other religious extremists followed too, such as the Quakers, Amish and even modern day Ukrainian Pentacostals. These types are usually very withdrawn and in their own world, separate from outsiders, and are very religious as well. So basically they are seeking to be separated from others, not to connect with others.

2. After the religious pilgrims, other settlers that came to America in the 1700's and 1800's were usually those looking for privacy, free land, or to make money. People usually come to America to MAKE MONEY. They don't go there for social connection or to make friends or to experience a rich culture. Thus, the type of immigrants that America draws are MATERIALISTIC types. They are not seeking social connection. They probably wanted to GET AWAY from people in their home country, because they didn't like people very much. Thus they may have been misanthropes. They were seeking social DISCONNECTION and privacy. They wanted to own their own land and not be bothered by others. And they were not prone to loneliness since they weren't seeking social connection. If they had a wife and family of their own, it was usually enough. They didn't need any friends beyond that. Also, materialistic types who are focused on money aren't that social or easy to connect with. They are greedy by nature and do not have rich souls.

So, since the white Americans today are descended from such immigrants, they probably inherited the same personality types as their ancestor immigrants did. And they were also probably brought up in the same materialistic and individualistic values that their forefathers believed in, which encouraged independence and the drive or greed to make as much money as possible. Hence the Americans today are similar to their forefathers from both their genes and the values they were brought up with. We all know that much of our personality traits come from our genes, so this would be a very plausible explanation. If so, then it would explain why Americans today also prefer privacy and space over social connection, and are too materialistic and money crazed to care about having real friends or connecting with others.

Now once in a while, people are born in America who do not have these traits of their immigrant forefathers or parents, and instead care more about social connection than about money and status. These are the "genetic aberrations" like us HAers who end up being misfits or lonely and alienated, because we care more about social connection than money and materialism, which goes against what US culture is about. As you know, US culture doesn't care about social connection and doesn't even talk about it on the news. All it cares about is ECONOMIC issues and politics, which is all you hear about on the news. Social connection doesn't matter to American culture and media. So if it matters to you, you are a freak and invalidated. That's how we HAers feel.

3. The immigrants that came to America in the 20th Century up to today, tend to be Hispanic and Asian. And these too, came to America for money or materialistic reasons. For example, Chinese come to America to make a higher income and also to invest in real estate and gain property values and assets from it. They also come to send their kids to the best universities so they can get the best paying jobs after graduation. For them, MONEY/CAREER=HAPPINESS. Not social connection or friendship or love. They are also very career oriented and care more about status than about making friends or connecting with others. Likewise, the Hispanic and Mexican immigrants also come to America to make money, which they will admit if you ask them, and they hope to return to Mexico rich.

Essentially, the motto in America is: "Be independent. Be competitive. Make as much money as you can." People tend to move to where they fit in. So it's safe to assume that those who beat to that drum will be attracted to America. And those that don't, will not be drawn to America. Simply put, those who are very materialistic or have strong materialistic goals, tend to not be very open or social with others. Therefore, the types that are drawn to America aren't going to be the most social, open or fun.

So you see, the waves of immigrants who came to America throughout its history were of two primary types: 1) Religious extremists who wanted to be separate from others and withdraw into their own little world, and 2) Those whose primary goals were materialistic, aiming to make money and establish a profitable career or business. Neither of these main groups were seeking social connection or meaningful friendships. They wanted to get away from others and preferred privacy over human connection. They may have been misanthropic in attitude too, disliking social contact with others to the point of minimizing it. They could have had plenty of social connection in their homeland, such as in Europe, but they didn't want that. Hence why America is severely lacking in social connection and why it's more difficult to make friends or talk to strangers in America than most European countries. This "immigrant motivation and personality type" factor is probably one of the biggest reasons for the social disconnection and shitty social life in America.

I think something similar applies to Taiwan as well. Taiwan was originally settled by Chinese immigrants as well. These immigrants came from Fuijan province and others. Why would they emigrate to Taiwan from mainland China? I don't know. Perhaps they wanted to SEPARATE from their motherland of China and get new land of their own. Or perhaps they wanted to get away from other people. Either way, it means they weren't seeking social connection, of which there was plenty of in China, but in fact the opposite. Perhaps they wanted to isolate themselves from others too, like the pioneers that went to America and went westward. If so, then these Chinese immigrants that fled to Taiwan probably had an antisocial disposition to be closed and standoffish toward others, in comparison to their mainland counterparts. And their descendants began adopting the same traits, from both their genes and from their culture. That's why Taiwanese are quite different than mainland Chinese.

Now it is true that Japan occupied Taiwan for 50 years and brought their culture there, which may have turned Taiwanese into being more like Japanese than Chinese. But that would only be a factor, especially since Japanese occupation ended in 1945. I think my theory above is another major factor as well in explaining the social disconnectedness in Taiwan. Nevertheless it is true that Taiwanese have a lot of Japanese traits, such as not making eye contact with strangers, not talking to strangers unless its business related, limiting their friendships to those at their school and work, being very indirect rather than straightforward as mainland Chinese do, etc.

So anyway, I think this theory explains the social disconnect in America and Taiwan, as compared to their mother homelands of Europe and China, which have far richer social connection and better social life. I know it's just a theory and I can't prove it. But it's an educated theory that makes sense and is logical I think.

chanta76 wrote:
.....What do taiwan,japan and south korea have in common. They are all developed nations and the women there are picky...

It's not only about that. All these 3 nations are well-known for their young men who are traveling to overseas to look for a foreign wife.
They look around in China, Vietnam, Philippines...
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About Taiwan, I think it is overrated, not so many people there, this island has only 23 million people, facing China with 1360 million people.
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In South Korea the situation could be much better, if it would not be divided. 50 million people on the half of this little peninsula is too much, terribly overpopulated, worse than Japan for dating. However together with an open North Korea with its 25 million people, eventually unified again, it could be a nice place for travel and dating.
-----
In Japan situation is not that bad as the problem about a divided nation does not exist.
The problem is far less about picky women but about seriously overpriced living conditions in the few large cities, young Japanese men cannot meet required financial demands anymore with their little unstable income.
The rural area is also problematic, as only old people and a few young men are living there, almost no young women.
The location where Japanese people are located within Japan and how they can find together is far from being optimal for young people.

As a country get richer. There is correlation with women empowerment. In countries like South Korea, Japan and Taiwan. The women there are highly educated and have choices. With choices they can choose to get married or not. With choices they want a man that brings allot more to the table. They look economics but also looks height and style.

In comparison. Countries like Vietnam and China. Still has pockets of area that are under develop. The women there don't have the same upward mobility as in Japan or South Korea. Because of social economics the women in these countries will be allot more humble and open minded.

Can a guy get a girl friend in Japan or South Korea ? sure but the guy has to have some substance. Guys who are even lower standards I hate to say quality will have harder time so therefore goes to the Philippines or parts of China.

I mean look at the expats in the Philippines getting the girls there vs the expats in Japan getting the girls there. It's bit different.

Winston, I went out last night with a two fellow expats, basically we agreed that the Taiwanese didn't really seem into sex and that the girls were incredibly cautious. We also concluded that in China that the girls are put on a good-two shoes show but are wild underneath - whereas here the girls are actually goody-goodies. One of the guys got a hook up through skout with a thirty-something local who is allegedly of average but acceptable looks. She was a virgin! The other guy can speak Thai and has been making use of that to pick up Thai girls working in and around Taipei.

I'm not sure your comparison of the immigrants to the USA and Taiwan holds weight. Sure Puritanism and old-school Confucianism may have been contributing factors, but more recent trends are probably more important - i.e. these old restraints could have easily conquered if the collective will had been there. Maybe the respective conservative influences are making a come back in the forms of the 'social justice warrior puritan' and the 'confucianist pokemon go zombie'

I have a few more experiences to share. There is a company I visit weekly - the receptionist there was always friendly and we stuck up a friendship - she then moved departments and I didn't see her for a few weeks. I bumped into her in the lift and she offered me her business card. I took this as an expression of interest and so got her LINE (that's the chat app used here). She actually started to chat to me on LINE and I kept things light for about a week - just conversation. In the end I invited her to go and eat dumplings. She said she was busy until the end of August with orchestra and work, but maybe we could go hiking in September. I pretty much lost interest there. She wanted to continue chatting - but what's the point. If you are mildy interested you can spare half an hour for dumplings. We are both Gemini and I asked if she had an evil side. She said no but that she was sure that I had one. I said sure I did. Obviously she is a little scared. Strange as this girl actually initiated contact.

I decided to go back online this week. One girl contacted me and we began chatting on the dating app - when I asked for her LINE she said no she wasn't comfortable with that and I should tell her more about myself. How much time to these girls think I have! Giving your LINE ID is hardly a big move. I really feel like Taiwanese girls have no sex drive - just a slight interest in making a foreign friend. Sure if you aren't doing well with girls, the first person you should blame is yourself...but honestly I do better in NZ with girls than here!

The American education system promotes living in a box, a lack of self-development, ruthless capitalism, and social cliques of the WORST kind. People get indoctrinated in high school to see the world a certain way like this, then they enter into the real world. Other cultures that are community-based do not have this issue, and people are produced who are generally kinder and more hospitable.

But why does the education system produce these types of things? Laziness, outdated systems, lack of reform, and a top down effect of extreme capitalism / materialism.

I'm at a cafe in taipei right now there is a fat American guy here with three giggling chicks. He seems like a nice guy but he must be pushing 60. Two of the girls are 20 somethings and cute...the other is pushing 40 but homely enough. I'm so happy to be here with 3 beautiful women I hear him say...I'm eavesdropping while reading my book. Its kind of a heart warming scene i just dont see it much here. I must be 20 years younger than this guy..50 pounds lighter and much taller...and i never have had such female company in taiwan.The girls aren't cold at all...How can this guy do it in taiwan?...well all three girls are Indonesian haha.

I'm starting to see Taipei as a place to live in good health and save money. Not really as a place to have fun. It's then not a long or expensive flight to get out and explore other places in Asia. Occasionally I do see a white guy with a girl who is hot. Usually he is under thirty, in shape, good-looking and not speaking Chinese to her -- and she looks like a Taiwanese girl who is very westernized. So I figure they met at college in the West of something. That's the way it is folks.

MatureDJ wrote:I thought that the Chinamen who went to Taiwan were aligned with the anti-communists, and that there weren't a lot of folks there before then.

Well, yeah you are talking about the Nationalist Party in China that lost the civil war against Mao's Communist Party. They then became known as the KMT, or Kuo Ming Tan. But that's a group of political factions and their soldiers. I was referring to the immigrants that went to Taiwan before that. Before the 1940's. Why would they leave China and go to Taiwan? To get away from others? I don't know. Ask Rock or Momopi on that. They know a lot more about Taiwan's history than I do. Or use Wikipedia or something. lol

I would say though that people who move to islands are usually trying to "get away from it all" and get away from society too. So they are trying to isolate themselves, not connect with others.

You guys,
You talk about Taiwan becoming richer and so the women are more spoiled. That may be true. But still, when you go out in Taiwan, you see couples everywhere, and in most of these couples the man is more often than not, UNATTRACTIVE or very average looking. Many are ugly, nerdy, average, or even a bit chubby and look low class, like blue collar workers. Many are even LESS attractive than me. Yet they are still with good looking or sexy or cute Taiwanese women and girls. This is true for young couples and old. Me and Rock and El_Caudillo have seen this everywhere out in public in Taiwan. Everyone seems to have a partner.

So in theory it LOOKS like it SHOULD be very EASY to get a girlfriend or wife in Taiwan. Or even a date. But in reality it is NOT, at least not for me and some Westerners. All Taiwanese girls I meet don't want to make friends or hang out. They act like it's a big deal and a violation of boundary for me to ask them out. And if they are nice or friendly to me it's for one day only, then they forget me. I don't see how the dating scene here works at all. It seems like a dead end, a no win situation. I'm not even in the game and not even allowed to bat. How can I "work on a girl" if she won't even give me a chance and won't even socialize with me?

So, how do you explain this contradiction above??? It makes no sense.

Well using my logic circuits, I can only posit the following possible explanations:

1. In Taiwan, you are supposed to meet people at school and work, or through mutual friends only. Not by talking to strangers. Taiwanese girls prefer to date and befriend guys they went to school with or work with. That's what makes them COMFORTABLE. To them, being comfortable around a guy is everything. They'd prefer to talk to an ugly guy they know and went to school with and are comfortable with, than a handsome attractive stranger. This means if you are a stranger, you virtually have no chance, because Taiwanese females are uncomfortable, closed and stuck up toward strangers.

2. Life is determined mostly by destiny. If you aren't meant to be in Taiwan, you won't find a good dating or social life there and won't have a girlfriend or wife. If you are meant to be there, then God or the universe will send you a girlfriend or wife to be your companion. If something is meant to be, it will come naturally and in the flow of things. You can't just "make it happen".

3. Taiwanese and Westerners have a mental barrier that makes them too different to vibe together or connect at all. Taiwanese women seem like a different species, almost like alien clones with no soul or emotion, kind of like in the film "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" from 1978. So I can see why this would be. Plus when you see foreigners in Taiwan, they are usually hanging out with other foreigners, not local Taiwanese. Either that, or they are with Westernized Taiwanese or Asian Americans. This lends further credence to explanation #3. Basically, people who are too different do not feel comfortable with each other. They don't vibe well. Just like when a lion and a hyena meet out in the wild, they know right away that they are enemies, not friends, because they are competing species.

4. If you are unique and a freethinker, you will not connect with very many women anyway. Freethinkers are on a different wavelength than most people are. And Asian women especially tend to be staunch conformists to society, even more so than White women are. This means there will be very few Asian women who can relate to you if you're a freethinker or unique. Being unique also means you won't be able to connect with many people in general.

5. When you don't fit into a culture, you don't shine or radiate. Hence, you will have lower energy and not draw women as you would if you were in your element. Your self-esteem will be lower too since the culture does not validate you or bring out the best in you. Good luck doesn't happen to you when you are in an incompatible culture, and this includes girlfriends, because there's no synergy or chemistry with you and others.

What do you think? Which of my explanations ring true? Are there any others I missed?

Winston wrote:You guys,
You talk about Taiwan becoming richer and so the women are more spoiled. That may be true. But still, when you go out in Taiwan, you see couples everywhere, and in most of these couples the man is more often than not, UNATTRACTIVE or very average looking. Many are ugly, nerdy, average, or even a bit chubby and look low class, like blue collar workers. Many are even LESS attractive than me. Yet they are still with good looking or sexy or cute Taiwanese women and girls. This is true for young couples and old. Me and Rock and El_Caudillo have seen this everywhere out in public in Taiwan. Everyone seems to have a partner.

So in theory it LOOKS like it SHOULD be very EASY to get a girlfriend or wife in Taiwan. Or even a date. But in reality it is NOT, at least not for me and some Westerners. All Taiwanese girls I meet don't want to make friends or hang out. They act like it's a big deal and a violation of boundary for me to ask them out. And if they are nice or friendly to me it's for one day only, then they forget me. I don't see how the dating scene here works at all. It seems like a dead end, a no win situation. I'm not even in the game and not even allowed to bat. How can I "work on a girl" if she won't even give me a chance and won't even socialize with me?

So, how do you explain this contradiction above??? It makes no sense.

Well using my logic circuits, I can only posit the following possible explanations:

1. In Taiwan, you are supposed to meet people at school and work, or through mutual friends only. Not by talking to strangers. Taiwanese girls prefer to date and befriend guys they went to school with or work with. That's what makes them COMFORTABLE. To them, being comfortable around a guy is everything. They'd prefer to talk to an ugly guy they know and went to school with and are comfortable with, than a handsome attractive stranger. This means if you are a stranger, you virtually have no chance, because Taiwanese females are uncomfortable, closed and stuck up toward strangers.

^^That's pretty much it man.
As i've tried to convey before, rapport and luck are probably the most important ingredients in most of the world, although everyone refuses to acknowledge this. Some guys dwell on "it's all about looks" or "it's all about money" (that one i really don't get), or "game". Outside of the Anglo-world looks are really secondary. In actuality you really don't see that much 'approaching', 'picking up' or people meeting on the street or even in bars.

The problem is that independent guys that don't end up in the right settings face some real hurdles.
For example, if you did not go to the university and followed certain majors, and/or if you don't have a formal job in certain professions, or if you don't have a local family. Then, building circle, rapport or literally 'getting lucky' is a LOT more difficult.

1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?