Spring Wants, Volume Irene

So, last week it was so warm and clear skied that people at my workplace were actually complaining. “Oh my GOD” they would say “can you believe it’s this warm in March. Imagine how bad it will be in August!” This led me to ask: What the hell is wrong with people? It’s 25 degrees in March, oh woe is me how will I survive. Is the beautiful weather really screwing up your day, guys? I suppose you’d prefer that we get what is really coming to us after such a mild winter – by which I mean you must rather a blizzard? I mean seriously, shut up. Blue skies and warm temperatures are not an excuse to moan like an asshole. Gawd.

I bet you’ll never guess what happened. The universe, or God or local meteorologists – whoever it is you think controls the weather – heard all those jerks complaining and it’s now 3 degrees. THREE. I’m not kidding. So, thanks a lot ungrateful jerks.

Below, some of the stuff I wish I could be wearing right now, if people didn’t suck so bad. I guess I’ll just have to wait until April.