I genuinely thought there was no more updates to the Kim Hyun Joong legal scandal from 2014 when he was accused of domestic violence against his ex-girlfriend. I covered the case here because I had a soft spot for Kim Hyun Joong after he did Playful Kiss, and because the allegations are so serious and I tried to parse the legal jargon best I could into understandable analysis of the elements of the case. The entire matter was eventually settled outside of legal proceedings as Kim Hyun Joong publicly apologized to his ex-girlfriend per her demand and she subsequently dropped the charges.

Recently there was an additional closure to the case with news that the prosecutor nominally fined Kim Hyun Joong for one admitted instance of domestic violence and with that slap on the wrist the entire situation appeared to be completely closed. Which is why I am in a state of utter, complete, WTF just happened level shock at the breaking news out of Korea this morning: Kim Hyun Joong is reportedly going to be a baby daddy come this September and the baby momma is none other than the ex-girlfriend who accused him of domestic violence. The couple reportedly reconciled and are planning to get married. This is way wilder than any makjang K-drama out there.

The news comes from ladies magazine Women’s Sense and is still awaiting confirmation from Kim Hyun Joong’s agency KeyEast. The report claims Kim Hyun Joong’s now-again girlfriend is ten weeks pregnant and the baby is due in September, which isn’t going to be easy on the couple since Kim Hyun Joong is expected to enlist later this year for his military service. The parents from both sides are currently in discussions to plan the wedding as well as make arrangements for the future of the couple and their baby.

A lot of people bashed up KHJ but I was neutral. See what happened now. If he truly abused her so badly until she reported him, would any sane girl get back with him? If truly this news turned out to be real she is as wacky as him. And in fact KHJ must have really loved her otherwise why would they reconcile and now have baby? Nothing justified abuse but there’s certainly more to the story on the girl’s side. I don’t want to get trashed for such comments here as some of you are very very mean. But I need to say this and for the record I am not his fan.

Just a few thoughts about abusive relationships. Sadly in many abusive relationships the woman is not able to leave the man, she falls again for his promises that he only loves her and his apologies. That’s why such relationships are able to last for decades. This terrible mixed-up circle of love and violence is hard to break.

These two getting back together does not mean, that he is the good guy. Or that she was lying.

Hi newbie, thanks for your response…
She appears to know her rights on reporting him. So if she got back with him, then it’s either he is not really bad or she is not as totally clueless. By reporting him, nobody wants to be his gf anymore and his reputation is tainted..and yet he got back with her .. So yeah you are right, this need doesn’t prove whether who is right:wrong, good:bad… What is clear here is that all of us are responding to this news when we have better things to do… Haha…cheers

Newbie,
Am I condoning abuse? I am not. Please don’t read into something not stated. I am just saying that if the woman wants to stay on an “abusive relationship” – we need to ask questions…. Why?
1. The women are either financially dependent (some with children) on the men (those we truly sympathize) 2 But others even stayed on for only “love” – yes blame the men but the women also stayed on despite having other avenues also share part of the blame. It’s like saying “please don’t leave me and please love me even though you are abusing me”.

It is an unfortunate myth, popular in many cultures, that a “good woman” can cure the ills/evils of the man she loves. A lot is made about the redemptive power of love, but as far as I can see redemption is actually a lot of hard work that has to come from inside oneself. Too many women buy into this idea: that because they love their man the drinking will stop, the beatings will stop, the gambling will stop. They keep believing, a sort of magical thinking, that if they just keep on hoping, and believing every protestation of reform, that it is actually going to happen. This hope, this need for their love be true and transformative, that’s what keeps them there, year after year. So in this case, she may just be thinking that it is all behind them, that her love/a baby/marriage/the military is going to make everything all better. Sigh.

What the????!! So drama.
Ok I get it now…so he beats her (the ribs..urgh), she charges him, he apologizes, they have some great make up sex, she’s pregnant and they are getting married,
Let the games of the crazy fans begin.
Poor oppa was probably conned to bed, she took advantage of him!!! (Yeah right)

@ stardust
Haha! Just like you said, probably that’s what took place. Sigh if only all other actors are that easy to manipulate… But I can bet you some mean people here would love to trash KHJ just to let go their own personal frustration in life. No matter what happened between the couple they would still paint him as “hitler”

Pretty sure the other commenter was being sarcastic. Just because this is happening does not mean he did not beat her up, or that he won’t do it again. It is far from being uncommon for the abused to get back with their abuser. Actually this happens most of the time. They even gave it a name, It’s called The Cycle of abuse.

Stockholm Syndrome? I wish I could say that she is dumb and selfish for staying with him and bringing an innocent child into an abusive relationship, but victim’s mind is complicated and not well understood.

It’s up to her. She is smart enough to report him and she is smart enough to do it again if he really abused her. She can also divorce him if she couldn’t stand the marriage. Don’t always paint him as 100 percent bad guy. You are really sour grape.

You should take into account though the pyschological affects of being in an abusive relationship. Women stay because they think their parents love them. Women stay because they aren’t aware they are being abused. Women stay because they feel they have no choice. There are so many reasons they could be staying. It could be the guy has groomed her. It could be there is manipulation going on. A lot of what is illogical or non-sensical to outsiders looking at abusive relationship is because we just see someone that could EASILY leave when that kind of thinking is very narrow.

It makes no difference that it could have been easily ‘preventable’. In a normal relationship yes. In abusive one, no. As banana and newbie say, the cycle of abuse is very difficult to escape. Abusers are incredibly manipulative and be the nicest person in the world in one moment and the devil in the next.

I’m not willing to judge this girl at all. Read up on abusive relationships and talk to people who have escaped these relationships, that’s all I can suggest to you.

I am going to keep clarifying my comment because my point seems to be lost.
I am not saying that their having sex was preventable, but that pregnancy was.
Of course I understand how abusive relations work.

They dated for two years. I am going to assume that she did not get pregnant previously because they took precautions. He is an idol with a HUGE fanbase. The risk of pregnancy is too big for anyone not to take it seriously, let alone someone who;s livlihood depends on him appearing to be single. He MUST have know he had better either wear a condom or verify she was on some sort of contraception.

@ Jomo
No matter how much you clarify / some people will misinterpret you as they have already made up their minds on:
1. KJH is abuser, KJH will continue to abuse
2. The girl is 100 percent innocent, abused, manipulated etc
3. People are supporting the marriage and baby to an abuser
4. People don’t understand the mentality of abused victims
You can talk about Obama but some readers here will still pick on you unless you condemn KJH 100%

I don’t even know the woman, but I’m seriously sad for her and her child. This child will become a weapon he can use against her in the future. There is nothing good that can come from this. This is a toxic relationship that I hope won’t end in tragedy…

You could always tell she was ready for forgive him even after what he did. I’m not even surprised it ended up like this.

TBH, I don’t feel sorry for her, at all. People say: Poor woman! But I only feel sorry for the baby.
The girl is just as bad as he is. He beated her once, she forgave him. He beated her again, she forgave him. He beated her once more, she forgave him. Then they broke up. She decides to sue him, he says his apologies,she forgives him AND decides to take back the charges against him. And now they’re back together. She is pregnant and decides to raise a baby with that son of a b*tch. Isn’t she crazy as well??? What has the baby done???? Why does he have to be raised by that man AND woman? I wouldn’t let her have the baby. Is she nuts. They need therapy!

yeah, but at some point the alleged ‘victim’ has to take some responaibility for their actions too and extricate themselves from an abusive relationship…she is as sick as he is and gets what she deserves

Hi Mel,
Good that you noted that you are balanced on your views. Like I said before if she had the guts to report to the police and media, she is not naive. So I don’t understand some commentators kept remarking “how evil Kjh” “poor women”…the rest of you please get over the abuse, its her choice to stay on – unless he hypnotized her or kidnapped her…

So I’m already side-eyeing this girl because who the hell has sex with their abuser….but the sadder thing is that because of IMAGE, in S.Korea its better to marry ur abuser when pregnant and at least be in a relationship than be a single mom and in a hopefully safe environment. SAD SAD SAD all around!

What are the stats on on women who stay with abusers after creating a media storm about the abuse? I am genuinely sorry for her that she was abused. But the story is not adding up and we don’t know what happened behind the scenes.

He admitted he abused her. She took him back because he begged for forgiveness telling her it would never happen again. We know what happened. Go read Dispatch’s article. It’s a freaking classic and sad case of the cycle of abuse.

@mae
Who ever said it’s right? It happens more often than not and many women end up dead before they get out of these abusive relationships.

@mel
I know he admitted abuse. I am not saying he is not at fault. I am simply questioning her and her support group, who allowed her to take him back. Makes me wonder if it was a lover’s tiff that got played out in the open. We, as outsiders not privy to what actually happened (Im assuming dispatch is a gossip column and not I’m not going to read that) behind the scenes.

OK – so I think perhaps ‘abuser’ needs defining. A person who loses their temper in a mutual fight which escalates so that one or the other (or both) get hurt, is not an ‘abuser’ – they are in a toxic relationship where both need anger management counseling. That is the only CONFIRMED situation in this case.
I’m rather horrified that they got back together (see that TOXIC relationship thing?) but as a mother I’ve seen MY children do this (sob over that – I so feel for KHJ’s MOTHER) & I myself did it.
Hopefully they BOTH will get a grip & work on their relationship so that by the time that child is born they can be good parents.
BTW has ANY of this been confirmed yet?

Thanks! as a victim of domestic violence, I’m speechlees reading some of the comments here. Now people thinks she was faking the abuse? seriously? he was convicted, he himself said he hit her in two different occasions!!! But it’s very difficult for a person to free herself from her/his abuser. Do a simple search on google about domestic violence, and you’ll learn a lot. And don’t accuse her of being dumb or a fake.

@ teleri
You are brave to express the definition of “abuser”.. I know in some cases the women started hitting the men first. Unfortunately men are so much stronger… That’s why the bruises will appear on the women. Also, men will not show their own abuse out of pride. Having said that the women must learn to walk out of repetitive abusive relationships. I have girl pals who stay on in relationships where the men take their money etc but they stay on no matter how much advice and help I gave them. Instead I get verbally “abused” by these girl pals – using me as a punching bag for their own lack or hurts. My conclusion is these girls want to stay on for their own reasons and I am just a fool for trying to help.

Yes, she could have but she didn’t. She always just want him to say he’s sorry though, that should have clued everyone in that she was half a step away from forgiving him. He has 2 years MS soon, hopefully in that time she can gain strength and remove herself from this situation for her child’s sake.

@ mel
I am thinking you are right. She wasnt ready to completely let go of him. Though legit, she probably used the situation to her advantage. She let other girls know that KHJ is abusive. She probably counting on that fact that others wont approach him while they are apart. Second, to KHJ she appearing magnanimous by very forgiving leading him to get second thoughts. Who would love him that much unconditionally. Third, seal the deal with baby and fast.
She’s very naive to think tying him up with a child would change him. Its up to KHJ to change. Anyway just a likely scenario not saying its fact.

Domestic abuse is hard to understand if you’ve never been involved in these situations; as a victim or someone close to the victim. Unfortunately, the cycle is broken in even more horrific ways. I hope every thing works out the way it should.

They’re involving a child now. Yikes. I really hope for both their sakes it really was a “one” time deal but lets be real that’s very unlikely. If he hits you once, he’ll usually hit you again. This situation is so sad. 🙁

Most of these commenters here don’t understand the stigma of being a single mom living in Korea. They suffer from job discrimination and become social outcasts. The abuse case made her a target for media attention. The media would constantly hound her about her single mom status which is social suicide almost. Her child would suffer too. Not to mention, Kim Hyun Joong would probably fight for custody over the child. Her decision (no matter how wrong) makes perfect sense given the society she’s currently in. I can only hope Kim Hyun Joong becomes a better person now that a child is involved.

I didn’t say this wasn’t a conscious decision. I agree that this was a completely conscious decision, but it was a decision that made sense given her circumstances. My main point is that Korea still maintains a very traditional society with a nuclear family. Anything outside the norm is looked down upon. She’s just a product of society. Before pointing the fingers at only her, it would be better if people looked at the implications of a single mom status in Korea. I only mentioned the case since it shows how much attention she was getting during and will be getting if she decides to raise the child by herself. Media and netizens might eat her up alive, worst case scenario.

I don’t think you thoroughly understand my comment. I didn’t say this wasn’t a conscious decision. I agree that this was a completely conscious decision, but it was a decision that made sense given her circumstances. My main point is that Korea still maintains a very traditional society with a nuclear family. Anything outside of this isn’t well-received. She’s just a product of society. Before pointing the fingers at only her, it would be better if people looked at the implications of the single Korean mom status. I only mentioned the case since it shows how much attention she was getting during and will be getting if she decides to raise the child by herself. She’ll be eaten up alive, worst case scenario.

The fact that she got pregnant is what confused a lot of people here. She is supposed to be abused by him.Shouldn’t she be like not in so close proximity with him to even have a skinship let alone unprotected sex.That doesn’t strike to me that she was unwilling. So being in this circumstance was what got the people talking.

The pregnancy shotgun marriage is another matter. A lot here wasnt questioning that

@ jae
You are right.
Why some are not asking – why she took him back and even have a child.
they were living in for 2 years (?) so surely they were careful previously..
Why didn’t she follow up with an injunction?
Everyone is blaming him as if its 100% his manipulation / as if she is a ten year old child without a mind of her own.
The whole thing appears to be very messy. No matter what we say, will that matter to the reconciled couple or other genuine abusive cases?
I know people who would even borrow money to give to their BFs’ based on some crazy stories or schemes.

I do have a soft spot for him also, however, when I heard the news about him being accused of hitting his ex-girlfriend/soon to be wife, lost the interest. Now this news…You know sometimes things/situation really do happens in life that you’ll just ask yourself, did I just do that, or did it really happened? And sometimes, bad situations turns to positive. If they TRULY love each other and the combination of having a child why not? If they decided later that it didn’t work then so be it. Wishing them the best though. Hopefully, he’ll work on his anger management this time since he’s going to be a father. (Even when he’s not father)

It’s sad but it happens a lot. Many people in abusive relationships stay in it. I can’t say I understand why you would choose to stay in one but there’s a lot of insecurities and a poor mental psyche that probably plays a big factor on why people choose to stay. For the sake of the child I hope he never lays a hand on her again.

Them getting back does not change the fact that he beat her up.Also going back to those articles,it wasn’t a one time thing.He physically assaulted her on more than one ocassion.
The Women…..i’m speechless. She was smart and brave enough to speak out against her abuser,but i guess i gave her more credit because she decided to not only go back to him but actually get knocked up.

In all this mess,i have nothing to say about those two but i just feel sorry for the baby.

I’m speechless, she’s not breaking the cycle of abuse but now bringing in a innocent baby into it. What if he hits the child when loosing his temper, sigh.
I guess he must really have broken her self worth as abusers usually do, I just can’t understand. As a survivor of abuse witnessed as a child I’m lucky not to have any serious emotional problems.

I would like to say that most of the posts seem to act as if there is no way KHJ and his girlfriend could be seeking counseling. If he is in a credible rehabilitation program, the probability of a re-assault decreases sharply. I would hope she would be getting help dealing with her past assault(s) and her on going relationship with this man.

There is a chance that this man has problems dealing with his anger, sincerely wants to change his behavior, and is actively doing something about it. This does happen even in domestic violence cases.

@ MF
Very positive comment.
Let’s hope for the best.
Yes I heard cases that the “abuser” does change for good through spiritual help and counseling.
God can change people whereas our comments here won’t help…

This is very true, I would just hope that you would get help first and for a longer period of time and then MAYBE bring a child into this situation. Children can be stressful and if you are not emotionally there or have anger issues that are not under control they unfortunately can poke at those parts and make it worse. It just seems to rushed to me even if I agreed with them getting back together (at all) with someone that literally hurt you physically and I am sure on some many other levels. I do feel bad for this child but hoping that for its’ sake that each individual gets the help they need and become stronger and better people that won’t perpetuate the cycle.

^^this! I’ve volunteered in domestic violence programs before and yes, it can be a cycle and yes, women go back. However, availability of counseling, stable financial situations etc..,can make a huge difference in breaking the chain. We should wish them luck, I hope he can do that.

I will refrain from judging them, but I do condemn domestic violence. At this point, for whatever reasons they ended up being pregnant, and getting married, all I can say is that I wish she remains safe with her child, that he seeks help asap, and that family and friends on both sides would help them as best as they could (since no one really knows what happens behind closed doors). I hope relatives and friends can keep her and the child safe (if the couple remains together) or help her get out of an abusive relationship. It’s just so sad, especially for the kid…

@ haru
Haha that’s a good one…some posts here neglect asking since when fornication is ok…
They are gonna say KJH manipulated/forced her into relationship in the first place…and manipulated/forced her into fornication for two years … and now manipulated/forced her into having a baby
I repeat to all baseless childish accusations
1. I AM / WE ARE NOT Supporting Abuse/Abusers
2. I AM / WE ARE NOT Saying it’s ok to have baby and marry abusers

I’ve read the latest re official report. All I can say is I would stop commenoting. The situation sounds so messed up I can’t even imagine it happening. No longer a fan but as a human being- I feel so sorry now for the baby if she is really pregnant. It doesn’t matter if he marries her or not. If it has come to the point where she is not even contactable- what the hell kind of relationship were they in? Woman-if you’re really pregnant think first what’s best for your baby. This is seriously one messy situation.

I just read that latest news release. More twist to the story. Seems though whenever they break up expect a scandal to break out soon after. First break up, physical abuse scandal. Second break up, pregnancy scandal.
I’m just questioning the motive here. Who is control or manipulating the situation. Because now there’s 2 conflicting story.

Did v fans became fools ….???
I’m in confusion…nw can’t even hate or can’t even lyk him..!!!!
Really..if its true really hope that child grow very well… BT still v were hoping fr his gud…BT he was busy wid reconciliation then…????
wtevr his future is at stake… 🙁

SMH…I already feel sorry for the girl. Watching KJH on Barefoot Friends, you could tell he was that kind of guy who would want to take a slut and turn her into a housewife. And then continually chase after her trying to control her. Hence, he got caught up in a domestic violence affair. On that show, he was always spotting potentially embarrassing items in the celebrity’s rooms, like a half-empty liquor bottle in a bedroom closet. He seemed to watch if the person lived up to a good image or might be hypocritical. I’m not saying his future bride is a slut. Nope, not at all! I bet she knows how to control him! He also stated that ‘bad girl’ Lee Hyori was his type instead of ‘cutie’ UEE. I think he might be a decent guy, but he can’t help himself around ‘fast’ women. LOL!!!

The rundown I heard is at first she said they were rough housing and playing around like lovers do and she slip ans fell on something and accidentally hurt herself. Then he breaks up with her and she changes her story and want to press charges after all. She claimed her first testimony was a lie to protect him from scandal. Now she’s pregnant and they are talking marriage. So she knows what she’s getting and obviously determined to have him one way or another. I can’t empathize with her since she got back with him it makes me wonder if the first story she told was the truth and the second story the lie. Only in Asia men feel they still have to marry the mother;s of their children. Men in America called them Baby Momma and marry who they truly love and pay child support.