War on Caterpillars

Gail Collins takes note today of the problem Republicans have connecting with women voters. A poll last week disclosed that Mitt Romney trails President Obama by eighteen points among women voters in key states. She quotes Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, as saying, “If the Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars, and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that Republicans have a war on caterpillars, then we’d have problems with caterpillars.”

That bothered Gail Collins some, perhaps because she can’t see the connection between women and caterpillars nor can she understand what it was that made Mr. Priebus think of a war on caterpillars of all things. Collins worries, “We’re already losing all the bees, and the bats are in trouble. We do not want these people picking on caterpillars at all.”

But, even if Republicans wanted to have a war on caterpillars, they may be too late. Gardens Alive, Inc. is already on the job.

On our desk is a catalog from that company and on page 52 we see that they are selling 100% roasted caterpillars. For thirty dollars you can have 1,250 of the little buggers delivered to your door-step. For fifty-five dollars they will send you 2,500. The caterpillars, according to the catalog, “contain the fat, protein and potassium insect-eating birds need.” They are mess-free and more convenient than live mealworms because, you see, dehydrated roasted caterpillars, “don’t move from the feeder.”

Whew. That’s good news. Dead caterpillars crawling around our yard would worry us almost as much as a war on women.

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Thanks to the photographer calling herself Mamageek for uploading her photograph and making it available under the Creative Commons license.