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Oscar Pistorius apologizes to girlfriend’s family for the pain he caused

“I tried to put my words on paper to write to you but no words can ever suffice,” he said.

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Day 17 of his murder trial sees South African track star Oscar Pistorius apologize to the family of murdered girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Nathan Frandino reports.(Reuters)

By Stephanie FindlaySpecial to the Star

Mon., April 7, 2014

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA—Pale and trembling, Oscar Pistorius took the witness stand Monday, apologizing to the family of Reeva Steenkamp for the pain he caused.

Fighting back tears, a vulnerable Pistorius faced Steenkamp’s mother June and apologized. “I tried to put my words on paper to write to you, but no words can ever suffice,” he said. June Steenkamp, wearing an outfit of all black, sat stone-faced in the first row of the public gallery as Pistorius said sorry.

The athlete’s lawyer, Barry Roux, then asked Pistorius if he had been taking medication. Yes, replied Pistorius, who said he had been taking antidepressants. “I’m scared to sleep,” he said, clutching a white handkerchief.

“I’ve had terrible nightmares about things that happen at night,” he said. “I wake up at night smelling blood.”

The star sprinter, nicknamed the “Blade Runner” for his j-shaped prosthetic limbs, recounted having a nightmare and being so terrified he took refuge in a cupboard. Pistorius said he “never wanted to use a firearm again.”

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In the four weeks of prosecution-led testimony, the state has painted the Paralympic gold medallist as a trigger-happy and jealous man, prone to public outbursts that scared his girlfriend, 29-year-old model and reality television star Steenkamp.

South African athlete Oscar Pistorius reacts during his murder trial in Pretoria on April 7. An emotional Pistorius took the witness stand, fighting through tears to apologize to the family of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, who was shot to death on Valentine's Day 2013. (THEMBA HADEBE / AFP/GETTY IMAGES)

Once a world role model, famous for being the first Paralympian to compete in the Olympics, Pistorius’s glittering sports career came to an abrupt halt after he shot his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day 2013. Now, the 27-year-old’s future depends in large part on his performance on the witness stand.

He faces 25 years to life in prison if convicted of premeditated murder for shooting Steenkamp. He has pleaded not guilty, saying he shot Steenkamp by mistake, believing her to be an intruder. If convicted on a lesser charge, he could still be jailed for years.

The defence spent the day asking Pistorius questions that highlighted the athlete’s troubled upbringing, charitable work, and affection for Steenkamp. “I was bowled over by how much I felt for her,” said Pistorius.

When Pistorius described losing his mother Sheila at a young age, his sister Aimee couldn’t keep her composure, and tears started streaming down her face. Pistorius recounted rushing to the hospital. “Ten minutes later, my mom was dead,” he said.

Roux said the defence will call “14 to 17” witnesses who will testify on such things as ballistics and “disability and vulnerability.”

Sitting with his hands interlaced, Pistorius described how he had been closely affected by crime in South Africa. “When I grew up we were exposed to crime,” he said, including “housebreakings, family members being assaulted and hijacked.”

Earlier, the first witness for the Pistorius defence, private pathologist Jan Botha, said Steenkamp was hit four times, directly contradicting the state’s account that she was hit by three bullets, and one bullet missed. Botha said Pistorius first shot Steenkamp in the hip, then in the arm. The other two bullets hit her hand and head, he said.

If the shots were fired in “rapid succession,” Steenkamp could not have screamed, said Botha, casting doubt on the state’s claim the model was screaming when Pistorius shot her, a critical element of the state’s case.

Last month, the state called pathologist Gert Saayman who, after analyzing Steenkamp’s stomach contents, testified she likely ate two hours before her death at 3:17 a.m., which doesn’t fit with the defence version that the two lovers were peacefully asleep early Valentine’s Day morning.

Yet Botha, a tall man wearing a charcoal blazer and a red tie, questioned Saayman’s testimony. Analyzing gastric contents, he said, “is a highly controversial and inexact science” and “it could have been an hour or two, or it could have been significantly longer.”

Before he was called to the witness stand, Pistorius lost his composure throughout the proceedings, at times retching into a green bucket. During tea break, his brother Carl and his sister Aimee sat with him in the dock. The siblings sat with their heads bowed, sharing a silent moment of prayer during an emotional day.

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