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As entertainment critic Roger
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We open with an Abi confessional where she continues to kvetch about her life in camp, wishing that everything could have remained “Tandang strong”. EPMB figures we need a break, so we hear some early plotting and Skupin acting like the cock-of-the-walk of Survivor 25.

***NERD ALERT*** a much anticipated teaser for THE HOBBIT (see it with someone you love) ***NERD ALERT***

Meanwhile, back at la playa Dangrayne, Lisa and Abi gab the day away. Lisa admits that she feels “used” but also thinks that she has “taken control” of things.

REWARD CHALLENGE “Drum Toss Serenade” (aka "Boy, is this confusing!") with a spa day at the end of the rainbow.

Task is fairly simple (but, as we’ll soon see, “things happen”): There are three sets of two drums, set apart in huge circles. Just get all three of your drums face up before the other team's. First to three wins. Flipping for the red team will be Abi, Carter, Malcolm, and Pete (team kindergarten) while the yellow team (team AARP) has Penner, Denise, Lisa, and Skupin. (I wonder what kind of magic guided the hand that drew those picks…)

Match 1 – Carter vs. Penner. Penner gives it his best shot, but Carter is just a little faster. RED 1, YELLOW 0.

Match 2 – Malcolm vs. Skupin. Malcolm proves that being quick on the draw can have its downside as he forgets to flip a yellow drum. Skupin takes advantage and wins. RED 1, YELLOW 1.

Match 3 – Abi vs. Lisa. Abi dashes to a quick lead, so quick she flips both drums face-up Lisa wisely does not follow this example and gets the other two yellow drums over before Abi knows what happened. YELLOW 2, RED 1.

Match 5 – Malcolm vs. Skupin. With the whole enchilada depending on this final match, Skupin proves that he could have used a refresher course on the basic rules (or maybe a reminder that he is representing team yellow…) as his first move is to flip the red drum face up. Malcolm ends the now non-suspense with a win for RED.

Jiffy congratulates the winners, giving Carter a quick lesson on the difference between his fingers and his toes.

AT REWARD – We’re treated with the usual soft music & glorious sites of Neroesque food consumption and excessive pampering. The kiddie-corps are quick to declare this a “no strategy zone” free of “old people”. Naturally, Abi takes top honors in the irritation league (thankfully, Malcolm is able to use his bartender skills to understand the social foibles in play). Pete cues the foreshadowing theme when he tells us that he “feels recharged” after reward.

When the wee ones get back to Dangreyne Abi tells one and all that it was a “fun challenge” (lots of eye-rolls from everyone that remembered Abi’s actual performance…). She continues on ad nasium about how wonderful the experience was – to the point of saying she felt like “I’ve got a three-month baby cooking.” Giving us a break from the Abimeister, we hear Skupin and Penner discussing strategy – realizing that the Brazilian nut case has her claws on an HII, they decide that the only way to go is to boot poor recharged Pete. Penner also contributes some additional yadda-yadda-yadda about something, but it has been excised from my memory. Abi, still going on about Reward, tells us that she felt like Cinderella (so she's done with any kitchen duties.) Malcolm, Skupin, Denise & Lisa decide that they'll be the F4.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE -- "Knots are not Knice". Skupin gets de-immunityed and the quest is on. Just untangle your bouy.

There’s more of the usual conclaves with plots and counter plots, highlighted by quick shots of lizards, snakes and other assorted creepy-crawlies. Speaking of creepy-crawlies, Lisa admits to Abi that their alliance is no more. In the background, Pete’s mouth drops open (really? This is a surprise to you?). Penner tells the group that he no longer trusts. Pete, having recovered from his shock, tells Skupin that it’s time for him to scramble. Editorial aside: at this point I started thinking “why not keep Abi around clear through to F3 – who in their right mind would vote her $1000000?”

more HOBBIT teasers

TRIBAL COUNCIL – Jiffy introduces the jury (RC, Jeff, and Artis) and Abi immediately makes google-eyes at Artis and says “hello baby” (he’s wearing yellow and green – Brazil’s national colors). Our host, not missing a beat, jumps on this and asks if Abi is already playing to the jury. Malcolm counters that it’s too early for this kind of strategy. Jiffy asks about idol strategy, proves that he listens in to confessionals (“Pete – are you worried?”) and offers that Abi’s bizarre behavior at the last TC was due to cultural confusion (Jiffy, you p.c. maestro!). There’s more Abi-bashing and she sheds a couple of crocodile tears.

Denise decides it’s time to break out her counselor’s persona, giving Abi a chance to make amends. Abi fights back until Denise tosses her hands up in exasperation. Jiffy, dropping his p.c. maestroness, offers a theory that Abi should be allowed to continue, making an “easy win” over the “deadweight” sitting before him. At the end, he simply tells Abi that she’s been “full of it”.

This shot appears to hit home. Abi is speechless (possibly for the first time since she was in utero). Jiffy calls for the votes.

Very nice and concise! Good point on the 'wonder what kind of magic guided the hand" in picking the AARP vs Kindergarten groupings for the RC, and also Malcolm using his barkeeping skills to manage the other kids especially ABi.

Easy answer to your question/comment about who's going to vote Abi the $1M... is it worth $1M to put up with her for 39 days? If not, then you've got your answer!

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