Tag Archives: single women

This is a rant. I know I lament about the men a lot but I do talk about other things in my REAL life.

To all of those single black women who only go to events to find a man….please, stop. You’re no fun. You can’t relax and enjoy yourself because you’re worried about not looking wifey for all of 5 seconds and ….you’re just miserable looking. You’re draining and I am not the ideal friend for you. Sisterhood does not exist for these women.

I throw events all the time and I can spot a SBF straight away. They ask stupid questions like ‘how come you know so many men?’ and lament about how there are so few good men out there. That’s because the good men stay away from toxic women like you.

No one wants to get with the boring chick in her 30s. It doesn’t bode well for them. Stop looking at men like you are measuring them for wedding suits. Most men aren’t bright but even they can see it.

I’ve suddenly realised that as many of my friends form relationships and go become mommies and me a god mommy that they are replaced by SBFs. Single Boring Females are constantly looking for an in. They come empty handed and don’t have many interests apart from acquiring a man.

So how do you qualify if they are an SBF and to be avoided.

1) Her behaviour changes the minute a man enters the room

2) She honestly doesn’t know why she is single and the chubby chick in the corner is married

3) She has a list for the perfect man although she has never met him

4) She acts like the perfect woman despite masking a head full of broken biscuits

5) She always asks who is going to be at an event and when there asks where are all the men

6) She is pretty yes maybe but hasn’t realised that she isn’t 23 anymore so still acts like a woman who expects men to make ALL the effort

7) She never invites you out to anything. She only calls to find out what you’ve arranged

8) She never introduces any men to the mix. Any man she knows is a potential back up for herself

9) She’ll disappear the minutes she’s in a relationship and only start calling when they’re problems

10)

So beware of the Single Boring Female. They’ll bore a man into submission yes but don’t let that be you

Over the weekend I saw a film that I truly regret watching. The film? Married men and Single women. That’s 90 minutes I’ll never get back. It was really awful. I can’t express to you how awful it was but, I had to skip to the end. The end was worse than the beginning. I beg no one watches it. It was superimposed by a number of action superhero films I’ve only just got around to watching. They weren’t bad! And if nothing else I now have costume ideas for Halloween.

There is an interesting dynamic between married men and single women. Most single women want a single man that will commit. So we look for traits in these men that suggest that they are marriage material. Not easy I tell you as many single men guard their bachelorhood like footballers guard their balls in a free kick line up. It’s a tension as old as time. One wants constant access to sex the other, security and love. Most women just hope he trips into love along the way but there are no guarantees.

We are drawn to married men because they give the illusion of the golden sword at the end of a long exhausting journey. They’ve learned to commit so we know they are capable. They know what not to say to a woman to piss her off. They know what women want to hear. And single women to married men offer a woman who is willing to compromise to get a man. Her expectations are lower than the wife’s. Married men have learned how to break through our defences and make us believe that we want the little they actually have to offer.

But my precious if he’s married to someone else and he’s crushing or hitting on you know that it’s really not worth it. He doesn’t understand a fundamental rule of marriage. Honesty! This is a man who will always take the easy option and look for validation elsewhere because he can. The man who will not feel guilt and instead just make you feel insecure about what you really want.

If you’re looking for love and marriage stay away from married men. We need to develop a protective shield for them. They are our kryptonite. OK OK, I’m going to stop with the superhero films.