Woofer: Jury Duty

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

“I’ll pick you up at Municipal Airport at around noon,” Jerry said. “We’ll eat lunch and then drive to Belmopan.”
“I’ll see you then,” I said, and hung up the phone.
When he picked me up my friend Jerry said, “Man, I’ve got some bad news. I’ve been on jury duty and the jury has been recessed for a week. The judge just called us to come in this afternoon to reconvene the jury.”
“Oh, well,” I said. “Maybe we can do it some other time.”
Jerry said,” Come on by the courtroom. It’s open to the public. This case is winding down and maybe it will be done quickly and we can still go today.”
Jerry had stayed up late the night before watching football on TV and as soon as the trial reconvened his eyes started closing. In the warm courtroom he struggled to stay awake.
After some boring preliminaries the judge said, “Miss, tell us exactly what the defendant said to you.”
“Oh, I couldn’t repeat it, your Honor,” the young lady said. “It was a filthy, indecent proposal.”
“Try.”
“He said, ‘I want to rip off your clothes, throw you down and . . .’”
“And what?”
“I’m sorry, your Honor. It’s too disgusting to repeat.”
“Could you write it down?”
“I believe so.”
The complainant wrote on a piece of paper and handed it to the bailiff. The bailiff gave it to the jury foreman who read it and sent it on to the next juror. Whatever the indecent proposal was, it certainly caused some raised eyebrows and some astonished looks.
My friend Jerry was the ninth juror and by the time the note reached him he was nodding off to sleep. The pretty lady next to him read the note. She blushed a bright red and tried to pass it to him but he was dozing. She elbowed him in the ribs and when his eyes opened she handed the note to him. He read it with a surprised look on his face, smiled at her and nodded his head as he put the note in his pocket.