The Best Reactions to "Elle on Earth"

Jacques Hyzagi had a lot to say, but the Internet always has the last word.

Early this morning, the Observer published the article "Elle on Earth," a tirade in which author Jacques Hyzagi describes his experience working with the women's magazine as a freelance contributor on a piece about Rei Kawakubo, the notoriously press-shy Comme des Garcons designer.

In roughly 4,000 words, the disgruntled writer managed to dis not only Elle, but nearly every other publication in production (TheAtlantic, Vogue, GQ, New York — the list goes on), describing his hate with a string of colorful metaphors that are repugnant and simultaneously enthralling. (Praise is saved only for Kawakubo, whom he calls the "Bob Dylan of fashion.")

By late afternoon, one thing was clear. The tear-down piece, intended specifically to shade Elle editor-in-chief Robbie Myers and news editor Anne Slowey (or as Hyzagi referred to them, a woman with a "soufflé pompadour on her head” and a “power angry maniac,” respectively), had sealed Hyzagi's fate as a forever-blacklisted freelancer.

On behalf of the magazine, a spokeswoman for Elle responded to Hyzagi's accusations of heavy-handed, branded editing with the following statement: "We always edit for clarity and concision."

The Observer piece raises innumerable questions — for starters, is this an April Fools' joke? The industry seems to think so, as it's mostly responded with mockery. Writers across industries weighed in on Twitter:

"fiercely intelligent and has no patience for goobers" was plagiarized from my pre-planned obituary, please report https://t.co/zZ337qbXUK