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First Time Mum-To-Be: What are your fears?

Hello everyone! I am Liza and I am currently 23 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I am really excited and nervous every time I think of giving birth. I know I shouldn't be dealing with the negative things but I have fears that I feel sharing with you:

Firstly welcome to the group and congratulations on your pregnancy. While you are quite a ways along, as a first time mum you might like to read this brief article on pregnancy: Nine Months of Pregnancy

As to your fears be reassured that many women find it hard not to fear something bad happening. It is human nature. We don't have to go very far to find someone who has a sad story to tell.

I think that if you put a large group of pregnant women in a room and asked them what their fears are, you would no doubt find many commonalities, not just of what might happen during the pregnancy but also during labour and birth. Just read this and you will know you are not alone: Top 12 Fears in Labour

During pregnancy I shared your fears along with a fear of premature birth and needing a Cesarean. That said I have two healthy, full term girls now aged 2 and 8.

Many women fear miscarriage. Apart from the obvious fear of losing your precious child I think that the reality is that most women either have had a miscarriage or know someone who has. It is hard not to fear something like that. But the reality is that the vast majority of pregnancy result in the birth of a healthy baby.

In regards to pain in labour, the reality is that natural birth comes with its fare share of pain. It is important though to remember that this is not the pain of breaking a bone, or of a tooth that needs pulling, this is the pain of bringing your precious baby into the world.

There are many strategies for coping with the pain of labour and lots of great articles on this site. Personally I would highly recommend taking a Calmbirth or Hypnobirthing class. The PBB site has great 'find a practitioner' pages for Calmbirth or Hypnobirth I have done both with Peter Jackson and found them invaluable not just for coping with the pain of labour but also in calming my mind and turning away fears during pregnancy.

The following page has links to lots of great articles on this site on pain relief: Pain Relief

With all these things it is important to remember that the majority of women will have birth healthy children after a positive pregnancy. However there are those that can't resist sharing their 'war story' with every pregnant woman they encounter. If given the chance they will tell you in graphic detail just 'what you are in for.'

My advice on these types of people is to stop them and explain that believing the power of a calm and confident mind, you would rather not hear the story! Same goes for pregnancy magazines. Avoid filling your mind with the horror stories of people you don't know. There are many glorious birth stories on this site, and within this forum you will find many woman who will attest to the wonder and power of birth.

Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy and birth and hoping to get regular updates!