Going back to uni? Here's you in your third year vs you in your first year

"I will take literally any job that is offered to me post-graduation. Anything at all. Seriously. Are you hiring?"

ON STUDYINGFirst year you: 'Just off to the library to eat snacks and hang out with 20 of my closest BFFs!'Third year you: 'This library is for solitude and suffering only. Play your music without headphones and I will END YOU.'

ON NIGHTS OUTFirst year you: 'Drinking on Monday, Tuesday, AND Wednesday? Sure, nbd.'Third year you: 'I'm not going unless it's super cheap and I am guaranteed to be home in bed by two.'

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ON NIGHTS INFirst year you: 'Let's play Ring of Fire and get off our tits!'Third year you: 'Let's brew some coffee and smash this essay!'

ON FRESHER'S WEEKFirst year you: 'Neon face paint…? CHECK. Carnage t-shirt…? CHECK.'Third year you: *locks the door and stays indoors for the first three weeks of term*

ON LECTURESFirst year you: 'I don't reeeallly need to go. First year doesn't count anyway, right?'Third year you: 'See you there at 8am sharp, bitches.'

ON EATINGFirst year you: 'I have eaten three takeaways pizzas this week and I regret nothing.'Third year you: 'How long do you think I can feasibly survive on this bag of Basics pasta?'

ON FASHIONFirst year you: 'Ooh, better set my alarm for an hour before my seminar to curl my hair and iron my dress!'Third year you: *sniffs the hoodie that's been in the washpile for the last three weeks* 'Yep, that'll do.'

ON HOUSEWORKFirst year you: 'It's totally cool, I'm sure we'll all pitch in!'Third year you: 'I will passive-aggressively wash my dishes around yours for as long as it takes.'

ON FOOTNOTES:First year you: 'Oh shit, THAT'S what referencing means?!'Third year you: 'Time to make up the dates on these references so that no one knows I started this essay the day before the deadline.'

ON FRIENDSHIPFirst year you: 'I'm so lucky to have been put in halls with such an awesome group of friends!'Third year you: 'Hey, I wonder what those people I lived with in first year are up to?'

ON HOMESICKNESSFirst year you: 'Can't wait to get home and see mum and dad.'Third year you: 'Can't wait to get home and see my flatmates.'

ON STUDENT FINANCEFirst year you: 'Look at all of this free money, best go spend it on Nando's and the entire contents of Topshop!'Third year you: 'Um, I owe how many thousands of pounds?!'

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ON EMPLOYMENTFirst year you: 'I won't stop striving until I get my dream job.'Third year you: 'I will take literally any job that is offered to me post-graduation. Anything at all. Seriously. Are you hiring?'