is dedicated to the enjoyment of audio and visual stimuli. Please visit our archives where we have uncovered the true importance of nearly everything. Should you want to reach us, e-mail alex dot carnevale at gmail dot com, but don't tell the spam robots. Consider contacting us if you wish to use This Recording in your classroom or club setting. We have given several talks at local Rotarys that we feel went really well.

Fuck Soulja Boy! Eat a dick! This ni–a single handedly killed Hip Hop. That shit is such garbage man. We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherfuckers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman shit? That shit is garbage. Hurricane (Chris) take them fuoking beads out of your hair ni–a! Man up. You ni–as is making me feel real fucking mad about this shit.

However, as a serial monogamist (relatively speaking), he deserves her because he knows how to treat a woman right (that's a guess).

He also served in the army, and hated it, like a lot of people who serve in the army; has had a successful film and TV career even though he's quoted as saying "I can't act, I really can't act" in the Brent Owens documentary Pimps Up, Ho's Down; AND HE WAS IN LEPRECHAUN: IN THE HOOD. I mean, come on, the man is sort of actually the most awesome person I've ever heard of. He has taken all of my ambitions and achieved them.

Coco, also known as Coco-T, is herself a blogger of sorts, raking in 2,000,000 hits a week on her site. She's a dancer, has guest-starred on SVU (cute!), and once won a $10,000 scholarship to attend Beverly Hills Studio with Hilary Swank and Jessica Alba.

There's been a lot of debate lately about what is and is not appropriate to critique on the internets. The short answer is: anything's up for grabs, and if you don't believe me try reading 4chan for five minutes. The long answer is: I don't know where the line is, but I know when somebody crosses it.

Baby Bjork

One of the worst things you can do is criticize the physical appearance of children. I know that every time Perez Hilton says something mean about Sadie Sandler it makes me hate him that much more, and I already hate him a lot.

You Don't Mess With The Jew-Frohan

But what if the babies are already grown? Once someone's an adult, is it fair game to go back and criticize them for having been a weird or odd looking child? It's a rule that very cute babies often grow up to be strange looking people, and sometimes the ugliest babies make the most gorgeous grown ups. It's also just funny to see what they looked like as kids because (massive plastic surgery aside) most faces don't change that much.

Baby Jean Claude Van Damme

Anyway, since Alex has gone off his rocker like John Rocker it's been entirely up to me to maintain the integrity and good standing of This Recording. Alex's head just exploded when he read that sentence. Don't worry about it though. He has a cabinet full of interchangeable heads with different expressions, like Mombi.

Baby Oprah = Boprah?

And he told this horrible Obambi site to take his piece down, as he is not anti-Obama. He's not pro-Hitler, either. He is just anti-everything. He's a libertarian! It doesn't mean I am. I mean, we could potentially put everything sarcastic in comic sans or italics but that might just make things more confusing, don't you think?

My brother made another great mix for you to download and listen to. This one features The Beach Boys, Arabian Prince, Dam Funk, Ready For The World, Ennio Morricone, Schooly D, Stereolab and other things that seem like they shouldn't go together but do.

The list of actresses who are so thoroughly absorbed in the character they play that they will never be successful in another role grows longer by the day.

Jenna Fischer, who plays the meek secretary Pam Beasley, pretty much lost us when she started being a dick to Toby. Her new film, The Promotion, has already begun to irritate us. The British Office was smart to finish up with the English Jim and Pam's hot makeout.

trying too hard to prove she's bosomy

We are living the future of this decision, when two uglifying forces hold hands during a walk for charity, or peck at each other behind the desk of poverty. The whole point to the Gervais and Merchant Office is that the two would leave this sad paper factory and pursue a new life as artists, or failing that, actors. How we will they could truly be set free!

Fischer herself is only kind of hot. She consistently wants to be so unerringly cute that it makes us super nauseous, especially in the mornings. She is the female personification of an over-sweetness, a desire to be cute instead of actually interesting, that we despise with every fibre of our being.

Her recent blog entries are soon to be used against Al-Qaeda operatives in Guantanamo Bay.

Hello! It is almost midnight in Los Angeles and I'm leaving for New York in the morning. I haven't started packing! I have laundry to do and the house to clean. I need to run to the store for cat supplies. (Okay, now I'm officially stressed.)

I'm doing really great. I had a tough year last year. But I'm stronger because of it. I worked hard to fight my way back to physical health. I found a great balance in my personal life. I'm happier than I think I've ever been.

put those fake teeth away plz

My favorite thing about the movie was filming in Chicago. I'm from St. Louis and have visited Chicago many times. I LOVE the energy of the city. My folks and my sister and her husband came to visit me on set. It was the first time they had ever seen me on a movie set. So, that was cool. I also made good friends on this film. I met and became friends with Fred Armisen. We had dinner almost every night. Seann William Scott is an AMAZING human being. We are still close. I became friends with a few crew members as well. The whole cast and crew on the film were great.

Seann William Scott is AMAZING in this film. This is unlike anything you've ever seen him do. I didn't know what to expect when I met Seann because he usually plays such big characters on screen. The night before we met I watched American Wedding. He has that hilarious scene where he eats dog shit and pretends it is chocolate. I figured I was going to meet a crazy guy.

In real life he is very friendly but in the most genuine, sweet-hearted way. He is one of the nicest people I've ever met. He always goes out of his way to make people feel comfortable. And, he's funny. He's very funny. Anyway, I am so proud of being in this movie with him. The character he plays in this movie is very close to what Seann is like in real life. I think it is going to change the way people see him.

The writers are hard at work on our next season. They will be writing through the summer. I've heard a number of things thrown around but nothing definite. I'm just as eager as you are to find out what happens. I'm most curious about Pam's art school opportunity. I hope she goes. She's never been outside of Scranton. Not even for college. I would love to see her have this adventure. I think it is time for her to branch out.

I also do not know anything about the spinoff. I don't know what it is called, what it is about, who is in it. As of right now, I have not been asked to be in it. That's all I know.

"I grew up in St. Louis Missouri. I always wanted to be an actor but when you grow up in a place like St. Louis that is sort of like saying, 'I want to be a superhero when I grow up.' It hardly seems real," writes the actress on her Myspace.com blog.

Fischer emphasizes that everyone's story is different, and that knowledge has caused her to watch TV in a whole new way.

"I watch a show and I see the person who has 3 lines on Law and Order and I think, 'Their family is gathered around the TV flipping out right now. I bet that was a huge deal for that person!'"

In her free time, Fischer took acting classes, performed in storefront theaters and went to cattle-call auditions.

"More than once I found myself competing for roles against Alyson Hannigan," she says.

On keeping her The Office character Pam “authentic”: “To keep Pam authentic, I’ve held back from doing some things. I haven’t had my teeth whitened. I haven’t gotten porcelain veneers. And you’ll notice other things if you look carefully. I don’t get Mystic Tan treatments, for example, or any of that stuff. I need to keep it real so Pam can always look like a believable girl, not suddenly all plasticky like a movie star.”

Oh you mean like this?

jenna and a betch

On losing an Emmy: “Rainn Wilson and I refer to ourselves as Emmy-losing actors. We’ll be on set in a scene, and I’ll be like, ‘Seriously everyone, be quiet — Emmy-losing actor about to work.’ Maybe everyone should have something like that. Did you win the fifth-grade spelling bee? You can go with whatever your highest achievement is. That should precede your name at all times.”

my necklace is pointing WHERE EXACTLY?

On making People magazine’s 100 most beautiful celebrities in 2006: “I was so tickled by that because I loved the ‘Most Beautiful’ issue when I was a little girl. I got it every year. I still have one with Julia Roberts on the cover, because I was just oh so excited. Now I think I’m going to put it in my movie contract that they have to call me ‘37th Most Beautiful Person 2006, Emmy-losing actress Jenna Fischer.’”

On being a wild youth: When I was a high school senior, I used to work at Long John Silver's. I had to wear a visor. If I wanted to stay out, I would tell my parents that I had to close. My curfew was midnight, but we closed at 1:30 in the morning. Then I'd get off at 10:30 and I'd go out with my boyfriend until 1:30.

isn't my expression so funny isn't it isn't it isn't it

Now you have experienced the full volume of Jenna Fischer's life experience. We have had you, Jenna, and we no longer want you in the same way. We have realized that the only enjoyable part of the affair was the wanting, and the having doesn't measure it up to its many thrills, seen and unseen. We wanted you, we want you no longer. We don't need you, we wanted to need you. Now we don't even want you, not even if you want us. It's over.

Please tune into this space tomorrow, where we continue to do the important work of destroying the respect you had for everyone you used to admire.

While her mostly physical relationship with Reynolds surely represents all male desire to dump their brunette girlfriends for stupider blondes, she has herself become a far more important symbol. Her burgeoning relationship with the one known as Barack Obama strikes fear in our heats.

barack let's talk about expanding head start come onnnnnn

You see, in the time leading up to this coming election for president, you are going to meet somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 white girls telling you that you should vote for Obama for president:

She’s not alone. Jessica Alba is for Obama. So are Ryan Phillippe, John Legend, Anthony Kiedis, Taye Diggs, Kate Walsh and countless others. But Johansson emphasizes that it’s not just young Hollywood coming out. “His support goes across all of America, not just with celebrity endorsements,” she says, laughing. “Trying to find McCain’s youthful core group is going to be challenging. One of the driving forces behind the Obama campaign is that all of these young people who never had a reason to vote before finally got the fire under their ass.”

WOW! John Legend is supporting Obama!?! Now I don't even need to understand the issues!

I love to hear morons like this guy talking about "The Choice" and being like, "If you're for gay rights, you'll support Obama!" Hillary made a similar misstep in her otherwise great speech on Saturday. "Gay rights" has become a throwaway phrase for candidates.

If you didn't know it already, both major candidates in this election are against gay marriage. Do you think Scarlett's aware of that? Do you think any young people are?

gargle gargle gargle

These young people will not necessarily have been interested in politics before, but they will be utterly convinced of one thing: Barack Obama is the man to lead our country.

Barack was the only candidate to oppose the war from the beginning, you know.

Did you know that Obama once saved 16 Venezuelan children. And he smokes cigarettes just like us!

Obama is sparking comparisons to Reagan, and rightly so. The irony of this is that before Bill Clinton became a racist asshole, he was really Reagan-incarnate - a politician who appealed more to people on his charisma than actual merit. The thing is, everyone knows Bill is a skeezeball, where people actually trust Obama like they did Reagan. This is powerful political capital, and it ensures Obama will win the election. If we may be frank, it also excuses this kind of behavior:

Obama and his muse have also had a number of tete-a-tetes. "The most time I spent with him was the first time I met him, at a private event for supporters," Johansson told Politico. "After that, it's been a few minutes here, a few minutes there on the trail."

What she can do in a few minutes would probably last us a lifetime.

While the Clintons enjoyed a long run of support in the Hollywood establishment, Johanson is part of a new generation, including Jessica Alba, Ryan Phillippe, and Taye Diggs, that infected with Obama fever.

Now that primary season is over, the actress plans to help with Obama's fund-raising efforts, possibly appearing at private events - even attending a party at someone's home, for example, if they donate enough money.

"Even I'm wary of celebrity endorsements," Johansson said. But, she continued, "if the spotlight is on me, I might as well try to direct it on things and causes that I believe in."

Seventy-four percent of Democrats are excited about voting in 2008 as opposed to 49 percent of Republicans, and that less people are saying they are Republicans now than at any time in the last twenty years...we have entered our collective ScarJo Present. The recent retarded spate of 'conservatism is dead' articles aside, if anyone is going to kill conservatism, it's going to be John McCain, not Barack Obama. And if anyone is going to kill Barack Obama, it's going to be a bright shade of Scarlett.

"I am engaged ... to Barack Obama," Johansson joked in an interview with The Associated Press on Thursday. "My heart belongs to Barack, and that is who I am currently, finally, engaged to. Yes."

The thing you have to love about Scarlett is that she really enjoys being a symbol, as when posing like Cinderella for the new Disney ads. And her trip to the Gulf region on a USO tour truly hilariouses us all.

The 23-year-old said in the release that she has long received letters from U.S. servicemembers and looked forward to meeting with them and signing autographs during her tour.“This USO tour to the Gulf region truly means a lot,” she said in the release. “I’ve wanted to go over and visit for some time, and now my moment has arrived. It’s one thing to reply to a letter or extend your thanks to servicemembers in a speech, but it’s another thing to visit them and spend time with those that do so much for us back home.”

bebe buell is rolling over in her grave unless she is still alive

Johansson:

Favorite president?

Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Do you have any Latino ancestry?

Not that I know of.

The 23-year-old actress talked about the warm welcome she received while visiting troops stationed in the Persian Gulf . Johansson dropped by U.S. bases in Kuwait on Jan. 17 and Jan. 18 as part of a USO tour in which she met about 3,500 men and women in uniform.

"Everybody that I met there was so incredibly friendly and polite and genuine and generous," she said. "They were so, so sweet. I mean, I was just amazed."

She was shocked that military soldiers were well-behaved. Great. It was nice of Scarlett to shake her ta-ta's for our men in uniform, I will give her that. I hope she did the right thing and went all the the way with everyone.

Johansson said some people ripped patches off their jackets as gifts and handed her challenge coins from their military units. One Marine offered up his St. Christopher medal. Another starstruck guy gushed: "You made my whole deployment!"

scarjo's tramp stamp

I hope she spoke well of the troops to her pen pal:

Johansson is somewhat shocked that he keeps up their back-and-forth correspondence. “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails?” she asks. “But he does, and in his off-time I know he also calls people who have donated the minimum to thank them. Nobody sees it, nobody talks about it, but it’s incredible.” She adds, “I feel like I’m supporting someone, and having a personal dialogue with them, and it’s amazing.”

To quote Tim Allen, Barack, you're only one man. Obama would be such a class wingman. Do I foresee a guest spot as Barney's second black brother on How I Met Your Mother?

He has followed her career as well, telling her that his favorite performance was her turn in “Lost in Translation.” He’s a “huge movie lover” and “knows who every actor is,” she says.

As for her own involvement with his campaign, she’s pragmatic. “I approach my campaigning for Obama the same way I do my work for other social or environmental causes: I’m hoping to raise awareness,” she explains. “I’m not telling people who to vote for, and I don’t expect that if I did it would swing votes. At least, I hope not. What I want to do is raise awareness of Obama and his policies, and share my own story of how I became involved in his campaign. Perhaps, if they’re a fan, my story might entice them to learn or spark their interest some other way. If I can answer questions or direct people to a website where they can get more information, that’s how I can help.”

Other correspondences Barack may or may not be carrying on: Lisa Leslie, McLovin', Margaret Thatcher, Jalen Rose, the latest Bachelorette, Thomas Sowell, Jerry Remy, the lead singer of OneRepublic, Subway Jared, and, of course, Larry David.

Barack has learned the most important lesson of being an international sex symbol: you have e-mail correspondences with pinups, you don't date them. Love is so much more enjoyable when it's electronic-only.

As far as the split in Hollywood between Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton supporters, Johansson says “it’s been a delicate situation” but, she adds, “of course, they’re going to vote Democrat.” (Johansson says she has met some conservatives in show business and a well-known comic actor who calls himself “a liberal Republican.” But she admits GOP supporters in Hollywood are “rare.”)

Ask Kurt Russell's music career what happens to Republicans in the industry. Let's face it, the remake of Escape from New York should have been huge.

you're so big!!!

We also have grave doubts about the directions of Scarlett's career. Her last two films were unwatchable, and that's without carnal knowledge of her recent album.

ScarJo's Tom Waits cover album is the third most annoying thing we can imagine. The second worst thing would be if Britney discovered a Nick Drake fascination and re-recorded Pink Moon or something. The number one worst thing would be a dumb movie about a teenage pregnancy taking the world by storm.

TV on the Radio meets Tom Waits and Scarlett is the embodier. I am shaking right now. I don't know what to do. And you see, that's what she wants. She aims to create an apoplectic rage that you can no longer resist. You give yourself over to it. You vote for Obama. You make a Lil' Wayne mixtape for a white person. You call your scarf a 'bib' when you are at restaurants. You start a tumblr. You begin to admire Brad Pitt, just a little. You wish everyone a happy Kwanzaa and then you chuckle. You tell everyone about your scrabble championship and link to it in your gchat away message. You eagerly await the release of the next U2 album, feeling that even if you don't enjoy it, you should support Bono. You rent Deja Vu. In short, you have become this: