A Baseball Team Has Banned High Fives

There are few things more sacred in sports than the high five. Maybe the protracted contract negotiation or the performance enhancing drug scandal, but the high five is definitely up there. It’s a magic gesture that somehow brings joy to all those who participate in it. Seriously, it’s almost physically impossible not to smile while getting a high five. But now there will be a lot less smiling around Milwaukee Brewers spring training. Because the high five has been banned.

I know. It’s a shocking and sad development. Who’s responsible for such a thing?

Photo: Koshy Johnson/Getty Images

That’s right, the dastardly bastard known as viral conjunctivitis, or as the kids call him between the huffs of their drugs: pink eye.

Catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz became the latest victims Thursday. They will be staying home for 48 hours in hopes of stopping the spread of the annoying and highly contagious malady.

"We’ve been going through it for a while and it seems like a couple of more show up every day," manager Ron Roenicke said.

A couple more every day? This is like Contagion only it means no more high fives so it’s even more depressing and scary.

The Brewers say the ban will continue until the outbreak is over. If any of the Brewers are reading this, I know you’re all probably super depressed about this. But just keep your heads down and try to remember the good times.