The Whitechapel Whelk has learned that a young dolphin with only weeks to live is going to be transported almost 5000 miles to swim with disgraced ex-FIFA president Sepp Blatter (pictured above) in a bid to ensure that the creature’s last days are as memorable as possible.

The 8-month-old dolphin, who is currently being cared for in a big tank at California Sea World, will be taken to France by sea and then overland to Blatter’s home in Switzerland, where the creature will spend half an hour holding on to Blatter’s swimming trunks as he swims round a specially-constructed tank in the corrupt soccer supremo’s back garden.

A spokesman for Sea World said last night: “When we found out that this youngster’s days were numbered we decided to do something to bring some joy into what remains of its life, and what better way to do that than to grant…