Yesterday was a cool rainy day here, the kind of day where most outdoor activities get cancelled. By 9:30 am Kate’s cheerleading and Carter’s soccer had both gotten the kabosh, and we were presented with a day completely void of activities.

Yippeeeeee! I was giddy as I refilled my coffee and settled in on the couch with Carter as he munched his breakfast. A whole day at home with nothing we have to do!

Boy did I swallow a naive pill. I should know by now that two hoodlums kids shut indoors all day with no planned activities does not a pleasant Sunday make.

There were a few moments of cooperative play, a cute puppet show, and a “garage sale” which consisted of the kids trying to give away their junk to runners who jogged by our house. Those were the bright spots.

Let’s look at the rest of the day in numbers:

Time-outs (Kate): 3Time-outs (Carter): 4Joint time-outs: 1

So obviously our time out strategy is working well. Let’s continue:

# of times Carter hit Kate: 3# of times Carter hit me: 1# of times I heard “YOU ARE SUCH A MEAN MOMMY!”: 4

Note: it makes them madder when you laugh each time they say it.

# of tattletales: 437,000# of downright refusals to do what we ask: 10+# of times kids asked to make cupcakes: 6# of kids who actually helped me make cupcakes: 0# of Carter’s shoes thrown out the window by Kate: 3# of Kate’s American Girl accessories shoved into the sump pump by Carter: 6# of times I heard “It’s NOT FAIR!!: 8 million and counting

Oh, and just for added entertainment:

# of times our basement flooded (unrelated to sump pump incident): 2Amount paid to Roto-Rooter (who snaked the drain and found nothing): $200

Around 4pm, Jeff and I looked at each other and said “Our kids are god awful today…like the worst they’ve ever been. Can we trade ‘em in for some nicer models?”

Oh, and then we left them with a babysitter and went and had some wine with our neighbors.

(Disclaimer: we do not actually want to trade our kids in, so there’s no need to leave a comment about how ungrateful we are. We would, however, consider loaning them out for a period of indentured servitude…)

17 Responses to Can I trade my kids in for nicer models?

I know that feeling oh so well. Have you gotten any games they can play together, and only let them play on rainy days? Just try to find something for them to look forward to when normal plans are dumped.

I think (hope) it’s a short phase mine is going through (she’s 6 going on 16). We’ve seen more days like yours in the last few weeks than my daughter’s entire life. PLEASE TELL ME IT WON’T LAST FOREVER!

Oh my goodness the other day my one year old was being a nightmare. She’s normally high spirited and …determined But that day she was just bouncing off the walls. I’m 37 weeks pregnant so I can not bounce with her. We just sort of blearily stared at her and said her name all day in combination with “stop” or “no” until it was bedtime.

Jillsays:

September 19, 2011 at 11:34 am

Have you considered the mall? I took my high-energy 6YO to the mall on Saturday under the guise of “looking for hair feathers” (the newest trend among first graders). We looked, but we ALSO spent 2+ hours walking. It helped keep the bouncing under control.

Lindsay Weisssays:

September 19, 2011 at 11:50 am

Jill! You must live in my area…hair feathers are all my Kate can talk about! (Wish I’d have remembered that yesterday,,,)

Kristen M.says:

September 19, 2011 at 11:39 am

Having an infant and a 2 year old when it is 100+ degrees outside and Daddy is at work means you have a very cranky and bored 2 year old who starts doing exactly the opposite of what she is supposed to just to make you mad so there is at least a small bit of excitement going on! Whew! This has been our the majority of our Saturdays this summer… Thank goodness it is getting cooler and we can actually go outside with the baby!! Oh and she just had a birthday there are tons of new toys to explore.

Jillsays:

September 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

@Lindsay – actually, I think we might! I’m in Overland Park. The answer to hair feathers is Beauty Brands

Catsays:

September 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Kristen M. Are we neighbors?! Same tune here, at least the weather broke. I swear my 2 YO would misbehave just to get a rise out of me. Seriously doing things she knew were off limits, and I’m still WTF. Tomorrow’s our town day so that should help. One of us anyway.

Lindsay, that’s why I said it works “most of the time”. Sometimes we enforce taking turns, and sometimes we have them play Mario Party 8 instead (because it can be played with up to four players).

Tracysays:

September 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

This sounds like my day every day.

Catesays:

September 20, 2011 at 2:04 am

Everyday.Divide and conquer everyday. I actually have a whistle with me, yeah, like a referee. Or a coach.

Jessicasays:

September 20, 2011 at 11:08 am

Try having six kids at home! My 24 mos old has been happily taught by his older siblings to yell “you stupid!” and “meanie!” at me whenever I cross him. I have learned to email people rather than make calls whenever possible due to the excessive noise in the background. I danced for joy when school started up again.

Juliesays:

September 20, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I had one of these nights last night – thus the reason I am “hiding” upstairs tonight while hubby deals with them and they play the Wii.

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