Food For Thoughts

A lot of things going through my mind but after so long, I still can’t seem to sort them out. I’m in the office now, eating my cereal. Today is the 1st of June. I love June. A very nice month. Last Wednesday, the company had bought a cake to celebrate all those people whose birthday is in June. The cake was disfigured. Not sure what happened but they creatively decorated it with M&M chocolates. Today, ES’s not here. It feels weird that nobody said “Morning” to me. As much as she might be irritating at times, I still miss her. HY and EZ on leave today. How I wish I’m also on leave. Read my email and realised I made one mistake. The testcase was totally wrong. Later, later I’ll change it. I hadn’t got the mood to really focused and do what I need to do. My mind strays… And there seems to be a lot of things that I wished to pick up again. Plans, future plans…

For these 2 months, beginning from today, WZ will be on HST, not sure about the exact definition but basically, its going round the places for home visiting. Everybody around me are getting married. Do I feel like getting married? Of course I do but… There’s a lot of things to consider. Firstly, WZ is still too young, career not so stable and furthermore he’s going to study for the next 3 years, that will be June 2010. Secondly, getting married will mean a lump sum of money, and getting a house. How much does all these cost? Estimated at least $30,000 for the wedding. As for the house, assuming $300,000 for the house, and 10% of it will be another $30,000 from CPF (if available). And that doesn’t include the renovation, which might be another $30,000. That works out to be quite a lot! Thirdly, probably I don’t really have the courage to get married yet, especially after the last incident. If ever someone were to propose to me and ask me to marry him, please don’t let me do all the thinking. I’ll freak out.

My work. It reached a plateau. CTO asked me if I agreed to write something about the company, things that I do and then put my photo on the new company website. Well, I agreed but am I staying for long? I love this company but whatever things that I do had reached a limit. There’s not much changes. Should I do support to brighten up my life? It will be a very terrible job though. I need to think a lot for my work. Not that I don’t wish to put in effort. But I haven’t found a motivated enough reason for me to stay on and fight for the company. Should I venture out? Seriously, I would like to start a small business of my own, if there’s a chance.

Life, oh life… Japanese language… I wished I can continue. Salsa… I wished I can go Amara Hotel and dance on a rather weekly basis. Crafts… I wished I can do more. Cooking… I wished I got the time to cook. I’m clearing my loans now, hopefully by end of the year, I will be debt-free (Mum – $4,500, YT – $4,000, Godma – $1,000, Braces – $4,000). Which means, actually it won’t be advisable for me to get a car now. I want to save at least $50,000 by June 2009, which seems a bit far from now. I haven’t even started. Slimming down? Oh, I think I’m getting fatter. Terrible. The only thing I more or less achieved is being a bit more decisive. Well, thats not too bad right? And lastly, I hope I won’t be so messy anymore, everything seems to always go out of track once in a while. Terrible.

I’m still in the office. Its 8pm. Promised to go to my Darling’s house for dinner but I’m still in office, again. I think he must be feeling quite pissed. And I’m so hungry… Don’t know why need to standby till so late. Lately I’ve been getting gastric. TMD! And I’m so freaking tired! By the time I go to his house, already so late… *CRY*