High in Ohio: Remembering Jacob Oeken

MANSFIELD – Jenn Balliett doesn't expect life will ever be quite the same without her son.

Jacob Oeken died April 19 of a cocaine and heroin overdose, according to the Richland County coroner's report. He was 22.

"I am a forever-changed person," Balliett said. "There's a piece of you that is broken."

Oeken was found by a friend who was letting him stay in his basement. Oeken had not shown up for work at Bob Evans Restaurant, prompting his friend to check on him.

Balliett says her son was not a junkie. She said he got involved with heroin in November, when he met his girlfriend. Prior to the meeting, Oeken was staying in his native Ashland with Balliett. She moved to Florida in November.

Oeken moved to Mansfield, where he stayed with friends. The Ashland High School graduate had earlier attended Akron University for a couple of semesters.

He later worked as a baker for Panera, a job his mother said he really enjoyed, then worked part-time at Bob Evans at the end of his life.

Balliett described her son as someone who tried to rescue people. She said he was trying to get help for his girlfriend.

"Shortly after that, I suspected that he started using," she said.

Trisha Rea, 34, was Oeken's second cousin. She said Balliett wasn't the only one wondering what was going on with Oeken.

"A lot of people had their suspicions," Rea said. "Jake would deny, deny, deny."

But the suspicions wouldn't go away.

On Facebook, Oeken posted about an infection he had developed in his arm. Balliett said their conversations grew further and further apart, and she learned about him selling items.

Balliett confronted Oeken "maybe twice," including Feb. 1 on his birthday. She took him out to dinner.

It did not go well.

Oeken became upset when his mother gave him "only" $50. Balliett said she feared giving him more than that.

They were able to repair any damages through subsequent contact, which also took on the form of texts. Oeken sent a text to Balliett on the night before he died.

"I just knew it would kill him. There wasn't anything I could do to save him. You can't save them from themselves."

Balliett said she regrets not asking more questions — and not knowing what questions to ask.

She doesn't blame anyone for her son's death.

"Nobody forced it on him," she said. "He was very capable of saying no."

Balliett repeated her belief that Oeken wanted to help his girlfriend.

"I think he initially wanted to understand the drug," she said. "I think he thought he could beat it."

Balliett talked or texted with Oeken's girlfriend a number of times after his overdose. She eventually gave up on the young woman.

Remembering Jacob

Oeken was Balliett's first child. Everyone called him Jake, except her. He was Jacob.

She said he loved making people smile and was always up for a good debate.

Rea said she used to babysit Oeken.

"He was a good kid, a very unique individual," Rea said. "We lost contact after I turned 18. When he got a little bit older, I got back in touch with him."

Rea said the pain from Oeken's death is still fresh.

"We miss him," she said. "It's rough sometimes."

Balliett laments not being able to talk about her son with more people.

"I don't have anybody in Florida who loved him," she said. "That is the hardest part."

Balliett shared some of her memories of Oeken in an email to the News Journal.

"He was the first person I loved more than myself," she wrote. "I miss his smile. I now have only pictures to remind me. The way his blue eyes would light up when he was happy ... priceless."

She will fiercely hold on to those memories.

"He was not perfect, but he was mine," Balliett wrote. "He was beautiful to me. He was not a junkie.

"You would have loved him."

mcaudill@gannett.com

419-521-7219

Twitter: @MNJCaudill

About this series

Last year 25 people died of drug overdoses in Richland County. Had these fatalities occurred in a singular accident, it would have been one of the most tragic events in recent history.

But because they happen one at a time and out of view, they are routinely ignored. We believe this masks the problem. Throughout this year, The News Journal plans to investigate Ohio's drug problem and its tremendous impact on our neighborhoods and families.

As one part of that effort, we will publish information on local drug overdose deaths as they occur or are verified. The stories will vary in substance depending on a family's willingness to discuss the victim and other factors. Names may not be used in all situations.

This problem hurts real families and likely won't stop until awareness is increased. We hope to help raise that awareness.