Forum posts made by principessa

I have had struggles because of things in my past that I choose not to disclose here, but they were shattering. There have been periods of depression. What I have learned is that I have strength that I was not aware of and that I can overcome almost anything. I decided to put that part of my life away and live my life as richly and with as much joy as I can. I will not give anyone the power to carry on hurting me with a place in my life. I think it was F. Scott Fitzgerald who said that living well is the best revenge.

A few good looking men and women can be self-absorbed and shallow, but certainly not the majority of them. It may be that their looks have opened doors for them and they have not developed other aspects of themselves. Most of us get past the surface and are interested in people for the content of their minds and hearts, not what they are wrapped in, handsome/pretty or not. I am attracted to intelligence, kindness and humour rather than looks.

I would live either in Provence or Tuscany, close to but not in a larger town to be away from tourist hordes. I would write, read, perhaps learn to paint in watercolours, and learn to cook authentic Mediterranean food. My intention would be to learn to speak French/Italian fluently and live like a local. My other half is an architect so our house would probably be a work in progress renovating an old property.

There is a lot to talk about on the subject of domestic violence and our reactions to it. There is a lot to talk about how society and the justice system in every country deals with it. However, I wish we all would stop arguing about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. We were not there. We don't know what happened. Information released on the internet has been released to bolster one side or the other, or by people who wanted the money that was offered for a story. Automatically believing one story or another because we like one or the other of these people is naive. Unless we really are friends or family members of either of them, we don't know them at all, just a persona pushed by their public relations staff.

With the passage of time, the facts will come out. We will see if the evidence will be tested in a court or only in the arena of public opinion. Let us be mindful about how serious this is if it is indeed true, and it will impact the lives of these two even if the allegations are false. Again, none of us knows anything for certain. I too tend to believe those who allege they are victims, but unfortunately sometimes they are not truthful. This conversation is fraught for anyone who has been a victim themselves or has worked with such individuals. Let us wait and find out what really happened before we decide for certain based on tabloid media.

(I realize that I said some of this above, but I'm repeating it to make a point.)

I would like to know how being intoxicated excuses Turner for the despicable things he did and at the same time puts the onus on the victim for her own rape. To repeat intoxicated rapist gets a pass. Intoxicated victim is responsible. How does that make sense?

Of course that is the argument of people in denial like Turner's parents. The problem with that paradigm is that many young men drink and do not rape. I reject the idea that drinking will cause you to do things that you would not otherwise do. I reject the argument that an unconscious young woman is responsible for Turner raping her. The Turners will have to come to realize that they brought up a young man who is entitled and feels free to take what he wants and do what he wants without consequences. He has no moral compass. That was their job and they failed utterly and completely. He may enjoy his father's ribeye steaks again one day. He may in reality serve three months or less for his crime. However, he is branded a sex offender. We know now that he is in addition to being a rapist a craven liar (regarding his prior use of drugs and alcohol), a feckless poster of intimate images (that of her breast sent to his friends) and more, or really less as his character is diminished even more as more information about him is revealed. Good luck, Brock. We all know who and what you are now. You will be in another kind of prison for the rest of your life. It is no less than you deserve.

@ WMM His family lives in a middle class community, not in a trailer park. They are reasonably well off.

Olivia Coleman was wonderful. I probably saw her in other things but remember her first in "Broadchurch". She gave a stunning performance in that. The US version of it had the same male lead actor but was nowhere near as well done as the UK production, largely because she was not in it. She really was pregnant during the production of "Night Manager".

Therein lies the problem. It doesn't. Drinking does not grant someone permission to assault another. If someone can't handle alcohol then they shouldn't consume it. If your behavior is considerably changed by drinking to the point that you can't respect another...makes you want to violate a vulnerable young woman, stop. Don't drink.

I've said it before coaches, alumni, and the leadership of these athletic departments need to do more educating and less enabling.

Absolutely. The sense of entitlement that young men have, more so with athletes, has to end. Both young men and women have to be educated to counter the party/rape culture on campuses. In my view alcohol and/or drugs exacerbate the situation but are not the cause. I think that a decent human being does not change when intoxicated to become a rapist. It is a weak excuse for despicable behaviour. The majority of young men do not rape, drunk or sober. The ones who do are capable of it with or without drinking. Respect for young women like that shown by the two grad students who found Brock Turner in the act is what is needed and what should be taught.

It is now known that not only did Turner lie to the judge about his background with drinking and drugs, but also that he took pictures and sent images of his victim's breast to his friends. Just more to tell us about his real character - really a complete moral bankruptcy of an entitled rich athlete, reinforced and enabled by his parents.

The only good that can come of this is the open letter written by the brave victim. It is a teaching and learning moment which may become a turning point in how sexual assault is dealt with in our society.

I have been told that in California system the prosecution cannot appeal the verdict or the sentence. Not sure if this is the case.

Perhaps we will see the federal Department of Justice involved as used to happen with outrageous verdicts in the US South regarding black defendants, using legislation to prosecute him for denying her civil rights. As I understand it, this would not raise the double jeopardy argument. Given the tsunami of public opinion regarding this accused, no matter what happens, his days of living a privileged life are over. He has been labelled a sex offender and his name and face have been published worldwide.

There is something I would like those who gloss over what he did to explain to me. How is it that being intoxicated vitiates his crime, but at the same time being intoxicated puts the onus of what Brock did to his victim on her, making her responsible for her own rape. In this paradigm he drinks and he gets a pass. She drinks and deserves to be raped. I find all of the finger wagging about young women drinking and somehow inviting this to be revolting. There are many young men who drink and do not feel that they have been given permission to rape.

It is outrageous. He lives in denial and has shown no remorse. The statement his father made to the court only acknowledged how this was hurting his son, including loss of appetite for his favourite ribeye steaks. Neither father nor son has any moral compass. He is just another entitled rich white athlete.

I understand that he intends to appeal his sentence. I hope the prosecution not only defends that but makes a case for a less lenient one. His time in jail will not be pleasant. At least he lost his scholarship and is now labelled a sex offender.

Someone posted the link to the entire statement from the victim in another thread. Everyone should read it, particularly young men and women.

I understand that the judge is running unopposed in the current election. I wonder if it is too late under California law for someone to run against him. I heard that over 800K signatures have been collected on a petition to have him recalled.

As to the now convicted rapist, his lawyer is appealing his sentence. We will have to see if the prosecution does anything beyond defending this appeal. I suspect that this young man will get his just deserts in jail. Being an entitled athlete will not protect him there. We will see what his father says about a few minutes of action (paraphrasing his statement) when his son is on the receiving end of it.

I guess I understand what you mean with the power differential. What I don't understand is why it would work in her advantage.

I meant the idea that she must be telling the truth because he is a larger figure in the glitterati universe than she is, more powerful, richer, so why would she falsely accuse him. That is not my view, but possibly a tack her PR people will use. Or, it could be seen as a deliberate attempt to threaten his position and therefore be used as a cudgel in divorce settlement negotiations with a promise that the terms of that settlement will remain confidential and therefore the truth of the allegations will never be tested or made public. Whether either of these two or some other scenario is the truth, I don't know. Both are possibilities.

Hillary ripped him a new one this afternoon. Let's see how he deals with legitimate criticism or if the only response he is capable of is schoolyard name-calling. Even his supporters have to admit he has no depth of understanding of policy issues whether domestic or international. Talking about deal-making and catchy slogans do not translate to the reality of being in the most powerful job in the US, perhaps the world. The litigation about the now defunct Trump University will not help as it appears it was a massive scam taking advantage of those he now calls the undereducated.

If I understand what facts we know correctly, the police did not find any evidence of physical abuse to lay charges and Amber refused to press charges in any event. She nonetheless alleges that he hit her and had done so in the past. It appears that she intends to litigate this in the court of public opinion, not in a court of law where her allegations would be tested to a legal standard. If this is not about a criminal prosecution resulting in possible jail time, then it seems to be about money. She was married to him for fifteen months, not fifteen years, so that would normally come into account in their divorce given that they did not have a prenuptial agreement. Demanding $50K monthly, including $10K for pet maintenance gives us some insight into how this will go. My prediction is that it will carry on for months with a feeding frenzy for tabloid and entertainment media.

I don't know if Johnny Depp hit her or if she is setting him up to threaten to undermine his career as happened to Mel Gibson when he was in a similar situation with an estranged girlfriend. As I said earlier, only two people know the truth and our impressions and feelings about each or both of them do not translate to any certain knowledge about who did or did not do what to whom.

I find it interesting that we are comfortable expressing opinions about this based on liking or not liking either of the parties or finding one or the other more believable. The truth is that none of us knows either of them or how credible they are. We don't know what happened. We can be amateur psychologists talking about Amber being a trophy wife seeking the advantages of being married to Johnny Depp, or imagining him being capable of doing this. We all have opinions about such situations, and I certainly tend to believe victims over the accused, but it may be different with such a high profile alleged abuser. He has a lot to lose in terms of his reputation as well as money. There is a power differential between them that perversely works to her advantage. I am not saying that she is falsely accusing him, only that we should all suspend judgment until we know more based on evidence, not our feelings about people who we know mostly through the image put forward and polished by their public relations people. Who knows what they are like behind closed doors? None of us.

Before my first solo story I wrote a long series of stories with another Lushie. This first effort was called "Stacey's Choice". The idea for the story came to me thinking about being out and about after a long winter. June days are beautiful in my city, lovelier than the humid heat that comes later in the summer. The days are warm and clear, the sky blue, the parks lush and there are flowers on lampposts and lining sidewalk cafes. I also thought about the vibrancy of the south of France and its colours as reflected in its art. The main character was (I hope) an interesting woman who, like me, had many contradictions. She meets someone by chance and the story unfolds.

I was happy with the story then and would not change it now. It was a debut with some expectations as I was a story moderator then and fairly demanding with others'work. I was relieved that it was well received because it is in the "Love Stories" category, not the most popular one here. It was written two years ago and has earned a "Famous Story" badge for exceeding 30,000 views.

Maybe you Yanks want to borrow Justin Trudeau? Or for those of a more conservative persuasion Stephen Harper as quit politics here. I suspect that despite all of the joking, Canada may get a spike in immigration applications from US citizens fleeing as they did in the '60s from the Viet Nam war.

It's Joe McCarthy who was responsible for investigating many in the arts and educational community in the US for their political points of view. This led to the Hollywood blacklist. The recent movie "Trumbo" is the story of Dalton Trumbo, one of the Hollywood Ten, a group of writers who refused to cooperate and testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee. He wrote many Hollywood classics including "Roman Holiday". "The Front" is a Woody Allen movie in which he is the named writer for blacklisted writers. Both are worth seeing.

With her being so obsessed with materialism, and particularly designer goods, it’s making me think of Patrick Bateman. It seems the author is drawing on all sorts of influences, but with some of the negative reviews I’ve read, this seems to be lacking the satirical bite of something like American Psycho.

I think I’ll wait until the paperback comes out. I haven’t read Patricia Highsmith’s Ripley novels for a few years, and I’ve only read the first of the Millennium trilogy so, at the moment, I think I’d prefer to jump into those before trying this. Even so, it’s one I’ll keep an eye out for.

Had it not been given to me, I would not have bought it. As I said, it is a departure from what I usually read. I was surprised that I did want to find out what happened next and kept reading, but it was strangely compelling.

Reggie, you never fail to move me. As one who loves words, your writing always delights me. You shine. It is even more admirable because of your humility about your obvious talent, which is flawless whether expressed in prose or poetry.