Author: kenzecares

Research has shown that about 64% of the people who go to work, go because of the desire for a paycheck and not necessarily because they love the job, because desire they say is the fundamental drive of all humanaction. Against this backlash, both the people at work and the work itself could get frustrating sometimes. Here are five ways to relate better at your work place, in the midst of it all.

1. Don’t Take Bad Moods Personally
Everyone has bad days, and the best way to show grace when a colleague has the blues is not to take it to heart. If it seems like your colleague or supervisor has “an attitude” one day, don’t escalate the situation by taking offense or using the same tone with them that offended you. Consider that they could be having problems at home or work that you don’t know about. Chalk up their behavior as having nothing to do with you. You, too, might have a bad day at work and need someone to extend grace to you in this manner.

2. Offer To Help
Show grace to your coworkers by offering to help when you see them in need. Offer to lighten their workload if you observe that your colleagues look overwhelmed. Your coworkers might turn down your offer. Perhaps they just want someone to air their frustrations to about the problem that’s sprung up. You can also show grace to coworkers in other ways. If a colleague’s car breaks down, offer them a ride to and from work. If your coworker needs help fundraising for a cause, pitch in if you can.

3. Welcome New Employees
When a new colleague joins the staff, reach out. Offer to treat them to lunch. Answer any questions the newcomer has. Introduce the coworker to other staffers and show him around your job site or office. Simple acts like teaching new employees how to navigate the computer system or where the vending machines are located can go a long way.

4. Don’t Gossip
Maintain the integrity of your work environment by refusing to gossip. Gossip can create divisions and tensions in the workplace. Show grace to your colleagues by declining to talk to them behind their backs, even if you think they deserve it. And show grace to loose-lipped colleagues by politely disengaging when they invite you to gossip.

5. Bring In Treats
Setting aside a day to bring in treats for the staff is another simple way to show grace. People’s eyes generally light up when they see boxes of pastries or other goodies in the office in the morning. When you and your colleagues are working long hours on a project, you might also surprise them by ordering pizza. Your coworkers will surely be grateful that you thought enough of them to make sure they had something to eat on a long and busy day.

Recently, there has been an upsurge in the campaign against abusive relationships. Despite the warcry against women staying in abusive relationships, some of them still choose to stay. I’ve really pondered and asked myself why some women choose to remain under such circumstances. Here are possible answers to the question on my mind:

1. Money: This seems to be about the greatest raison d’être that makes some women remain in broken relationship. They wrongly believe that it is better to suffer in wealth than to laugh in poverty.

2. No Where To Go: This especially applies to women who marry men in another country (possibly better than theirs) and move over there with him. They tend to manage the domestic abuse for the want of a better life where they are and possible lack of another place to stay in that location.

3. Inferiority Complex: Truthfully, some women stay in abusive relationships because they find themselves in an unfortunate situation where not too many men like them and the man they are with seems to be the only person who has ever shown them love but happened to have changed overtime. They forget that they can and will find love again, if only they decide to give love (outside the abusive relationship) another chance.

4. Fear of the Negative Effects of a Broken Home On Their Children: Some women believe that every child should be given the chance to experience both fatherly love and motherly love because a father and a mother both have different roles to play in the life of a child and it is almost impossible for one person to play both roles. Also, some women are not totally certain that they would be given full custody of the child or children, however the case may be. Now, a broken home sure has its negative impacts on the life of any child, albeit its not the best option.

5.Foolishness:This list would not be complete without this point. Aside from all the possible “beautiful” reasons for staying in an abusive relationship, some women stay as a result of intense and ample foolishness.

Whatever your reason is, however beautiful your excuse may be, staying in an abusive relationship is not and can never be an ideal thing to do because the negative effects (both on you and the kids) far outweigh the so-called ‘good’ reasons for staying in an abusive relationship.

Shun Imprudence!!!

Be Wise!!!

Say no to domestic abuse!!!

Quick Facts

Statistics gathered indicate domestic violence causes almost 100,000 days of hospitalization, 30,000 emergency room visits, 40,000 trips to the doctor every year, and 50% of all homeless women and their children are fleeing domestic violence.

In batterer’s groups over 50% of battering men came from backgrounds where the male in their family was either very violent or controlling.

94% of victims are under age 18

80% are under age 30

Less than 20% of battered women seek medical attention after any injury from abuse

Center for disease control estimates that out of 223 cases reviewed where battered women killed their abusers, 75% were in the middle of confrontation or assault

Everyone, no matter how bad you think the person is, deserves to be in a relationship. However, the reality of the matter is that not everyone is able to stay in one. Even with the several articles on red flags on a first date, people still go into relationships which do not eventually pass the test of time. So, on one hand there are things to watch out for before dating a person and on the other hand there are factors that can help you make an informed decision before you eventually say “I do”.

A broken relationship, it has been said, is better than a broken marriage. Sometimes we don’t choose whom we fall in love with but we choose whom we stay in love with. In other words, you don’t stay in love with someone by mistake, it’s a choice. To buttress this point, Jessica Bunevacz says ‘relationships are not all about fun and good times, but all relationships are work’. In light of this, we would examine a few factors to consider in determining if your relationship would pass the test of time.

Upbringing

Family background and the way you were raised play a pivotal role in how you develop relationships with friends and folks. Truthfully, it’s hard to get a guy and a girl who were raised by a single parent and both parents respectively, to think the same way. This is because people usually bring their family experience to bear in relationships. The guy on the one hand who was supposedly raised by a single mother would definitely have a hard time being a Father because he never really had someone teach him how to be a father. Not being able to accept the effect of each other’s family experiences and make the most of them is a clear sign that your relationship is headed for the rocks.

How You Communicate With Each Other

Communication in a relationship is without doubt a key indicator of how long a relationship would last. Sometimes we mean what we do not say and other times say what we do not mean. In other words, the tone we use in communicating with our partner is used in determining meaning. For example, as simple as saying ‘Are you alright” could mean different things to different people. While one hand one person could feel that you are asking them if they’re mentally stable, another person could see it to mean that you’re simply asking if they have any form of general ailment. In 2015, some Engineers created a program that can predict how long a relationship would last based on ‘tone’. After analyzing hours of a couple’s speech, focusing on things like pitch, intensity, and acoustic warbles, they found out that not just the words you say, but how you say them are very important in determining the lifespan of your relationship. Stephanie Kriesberg says, in the event of a problem, we should learn to complain to each other and not criticize each other. For example, A complain would be ”I thought we had agreed to fix our wedding for next year, why the sudden change of plans”, while criticism would be ”So you think I don’t deserve to have a say in when our wedding would hold, how can you just change the plan when we had agreed on a certain date”? However, we should learn not to complain too much because it’s unhealthy for any relationship.

How You Express Jealousy

In every relationship, there’s surely going to be some form of jealousy (which sometimes snowballs into suspicion), especially from partners who are very emotional. However, jealousy is not as bad as people make it seem sometimes. According to a study carried out in 2013, it was discovered that jealousy is linked to positive relationship outcomes because it has a way of making people commit. Also, even the Holy Bible says God is a jealous person (Exodus 20:5). You may say it’s a different kind of jealousy but it tells you that there’s a good side to jealousy. Anyways, that’s a topic for another day. However, jealousy assumes its toxic state when you allow it go uncontrolled. I remember the story of a guy whose girlfriend called and asked where he was and after telling her he was in his car, she asked him to honk. Like seriously! WTF is that. For me, that’s jealousy taken overboard. The crux of the matter is jealousy drives relationships, albeit when handled in a matured way.

How You Make Sacrifices For Each Other

It goes without saying that one hallmark of a long and lasting relationship is your ability to make sacrifices for each other. Dr. Elizabeth Trattner calls it the ‘Jelly Bean’ test. You should ask yourself questions like is my partner willing to give up nicer things for the relationship? Is my partner willing to both share and sacrifice what they love (not just like) for me? It’s no strange thing that guys like to hang out with guys (especially to watch football) and girls like to hang out with girls (especially at the saloon) but are both of you willingly to put your relationship first at all times and your individual pleasures (which may include work sometimes) after? The bitter truth is you cannot really claim to love someone if you don’t love them at least as much you love yourself. The ability to continually make these sacrifices has far-reaching effects on how long you guys would be together.

The Approval of Your Friends

I know this seems pretty insignificant, especially with all the talk of ‘you don’t have to allow the words of people talk you out of something, if you believe it, go for it’. Yeah, I know, I say that to but just as the bible says “wisdom is the principal in thing”. I’ve also always said balance is a key factor in everything we find ourselves doing. A study carried out in 2001 by psychologists from Purdue University showed that people in love tend to predict that their relationship would last longer than it actually would. This is because most times (if not all the time), love tends to cloud our sense off thinking. People in love have the tendency to think with their heart and not their head but outsiders like friends and acquaintances, sometimes turn out to be more accurate in predicting how long a relationship would last, since it is assumed that they have a clearer mind on issues concerning your relationship.

Generally, nobody knows exactly how long a relationship would last. We can only make informed assumptions based on observations. Having a successful relationship requires a whole lot of work from both partners. It is to this effect that the theory of the six-question (how long have you guys been together, what is your relationship status, what is the age gap between both of you, highest level of education attained, how many relatives you see every other month, how many children between two and five years live with you) quiz came about. However, there really is no perfect way to determine what makes for long and lasting relationships but these factors and more are important in guaranteeing you a successful relationship.

The world has become so complex today that to actually find a partner who doesn’t cheat is becoming increasingly tougher by the day. Truthfully, no one goes into a relationship with a guy/girl who would cheat on them. For example, 70% of the ladies I speak to, tell me that their greatest turn off in a relationship is a guy who cheats. Now do not get me wrong, I’m in no way implying that its only guys that cheat, ‘cos we all know that both guys and girls cheat alike. However, it’s really not easy to spot a cheater, as there’s no sure-fire way to know who would and would not cheat/. Relationships vary and people have several reasons why they cheat.

Even with the fact that there are different ways to cheat as well as different reasons why people cheat; there are a several traits that habitual cheaters share in common. A few of these habits would be looked at below.

*They are glued to Their Phone

Being glued to their phone is a common habit of people who cheat. They always ensure that they do not let their phone out of their sight. If you notice a change in phone habit, then that’s a very bad sign that something’s gone wrong somewhere. Phone calls are usually taken away from your presence, at odd hours, spending hours on the phone and they you don’t have an idea of why or what they’re discussing about, speaking in hushed tones over the phone are not very good signals. Although, it’s always best to take time and find out the truth before running into conclusion.

*They Suddenly Become All Loved Up

Now, it’s not a crime to be all-loved up in a relationship but it’s a problem when it just happens suddenly. Alright, I believe in miracles but our God is not a God of confusion. Truthfully, cheaters in a bit to keep their partners in the dark, try to shower with so much love, so that your mind doesn’t even imagine they would be playing any ‘away’ match. Some of them also do this because of the guilt they may be feeling in their heart. Rob Alex says ‘I think the one beginning sign your partner is cheating is that they are overly affectionate to you. If all of a sudden, they start acting totally different in their affection toward you, it could be a sign’.

*Their Sex Life becomes Different

Away from the normal stream of thought that an individual who cheats is usually starved of sex at home, some people just cheat because they don’t see themselves having sex with just one person. You see this gets me thinking, like why do they even marry in the first place then but marriage is not just about sex , is it? Nikki Martinez says that ‘often when a partner is cheating, they will become more sexual than they have in a long time’. Sometimes, it results in some of them having greater drive for sex and wanting to last longer than usual during sex. The problem that arises from this is that, they tend to want to compare their wives to the other (more energetic and skilled) girls they sleep outside, the result; lack of sexual satisfaction with their partners and invariably more sexual escapades.

Photo Credit: Shuttershock

*They Lie More Times than They Eat

Well, this is an unavoidable and predictable habit of someone who cheats. Cheaters tend to lie with impunity and they know they have to do this to protect their secret life. Show me a cheater who doesn’t lie and I’ll show you a whore who doesn’t sleep with men. Just like Roger says ‘If you catch your partner in one hurtful lie, chances are that’s not the only one’. It’s being said that one lie leads to another lie. Cheating partners lie about where they go, what they are talking about on phone, who their friends are, etc.

*They Suddenly Get Over-protective of You

In every relationship, there’s surely going to be some form of jealousy (which sometimes snowballs into suspicion), especially from partners who are very emotional but these things come from partners who are cheaters. Now, this is because cheaters sometimes make it a habit to keep close tabs on their partner, especially if they fear that their partner may also break the trust between them, being that they are guilty of the same crime. I remember meeting someone who refused to allow his partner do any paid work because he feared that men in the corporate world may sweep his wife off her feet and date her; just the same way he did to other ladies, as a man in the corporate world. In other words, if your partner suddenly starts becoming over-protective, you need to watch it.

As mentioned earlier, there are different types of cheaters and different reasons why people cheat, so the issue of cheating always has to be handled with understanding. There really is no standard solution to the solve the problem of cheating, but with love, patience, and understanding between partners, the problem of cheating can always be resolved.

​The fact that someone is part of your history doesn’t necessarily imply that they must be part of your destiny. Know when to draw the curtain.

Whether you realize it or not, people who refuse to grow with you simply can’t go with you. So often we get so caught up in our emotions that we seem to think that just because someone has been by our side for years that we are entitled to take them with us to each proceeding level of our lives. At some point in your life you must realize that everyone can’t go with you to the next level and here’s why:

Some People Are Seasonal Tyler Perry put it best in his hit movie Madea Goes To Jail: Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.Photo Credit: Alexis Nyal

Some People Will Only Remember You From Your Past “Remember when…” we all have those friends who always begins their conversations with us using those two words.For many of us it’s often fun to reminisce; however, when you’re on your way to destiny you can’t afford to spend time looking in the rearview mirror. Those who constantly remind you of your past, can’t propel you to your future.

Some People Can’t Handle Where You’re Going. Let’s face it. Not everyone can handle where you’re going and once you settle that within yourself you will stop allowing yourself to get bent out shape over people who walked away. Motivational speaker Tony Gaskins put it best: you’re going to lose some people on the way, but remember not everyone is intended to go with you.

As difficult as letting go of some people can be, it is an inevitable factor in friendship, when the ship gets heavy.

This insight is universal because it reminds us that the people in our lives are dealing with their own hardships; that they have their own pain to process.Even with a sage reminder like this, why is it that we only see our own distress when in the middle of hard times? Why do we feel that we have a monopoly on pain?

We first must understand why we become more self-centered in times of anxiety. A recent study found that troubled feelings increase our reliance on egocentric thinking–meaning that we stop seeing other’s perspectives while distressed. We become more self-centered when experiencing unhappy circumstances and this causes us to only see our own agonies because of our agitated, single-focused minds.

Our selfishness is bound to be apparent to others as well. One study has shown that patients who used more first-person pronouns (I and me) during therapy sessions had a higher incidence of depression while other research found that people suffering from social anxiety manifest more exaggerated self-attention. Once we understand the physiological reason behind our selfishness and how it negatively affects us, we have to start combating it.

One way we can minimize our monopoly on pain is to
listen. Many times we assume we know someone’s struggle without hearing the whole story but we are really just filling in the blanks with our own experiences. If we commit to pausing our assumptions and listening, we can start to see perspectives outside our own.

Another way is to begin practicing empathy. It is hard when our brains are set on only seeing the narrow scope of our experiences but if we attempt to put ourselves in another’s shoes, we will begin to empathize with them and their troubles. It is difficult when it feels all life’s troubles are aimed solely at us but that feeling isn’t accurate. We must look past our personal pain and see that we are all fighting our own battles and then we’ll gain enough mutual understanding to join forces.

At the end of the day, no one really cares about what award you won, how much money you made, what you spent on your car, how many politicians you know, how great your hair looks, or what grades you got. What they will care about is how good you made them feel, and trust me when I say that self-centered people rarely make people feel good.

​Burden. Overload. Stress. Do these words describe the way you feel about life? If that’s the case, I want you to know you’re not alone. And with God’s help, you can change your outlook and overcome your situation. No matter what’s going on around you, you can have a life in Christ filled with peace and joy.

1. Say something positive. If you constantly feel overwhelmed or under stress and you can’t pinpoint the exact reason, start making some Biblical daily confessions. Rather than getting up each day, talking about how bad things are, begin each day declaring God’s Word and His promises over your life. I am more than a conqueror! (Romans 8:37) God will provide for my every need! (Matthew 6:26) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

2. Fine-tune your budget. If your finances are a source of constant stress in your life, decide to start a budget (or reevaluate your current budget). What is something practical you can do to solve the problem? Cut an expense that is a luxury but not a necessity. Look for a new way to make some additional money. Ask someone who is good with finances to take a look at your budget and give you some suggestions.

3. Do something surprising. If there is someone who is driving up your stress levels by constantly hurting your feelings, do something nice for them—send them a kind note, buy them lunch, tell them something you appreciate about them, or begin praying for them on a regular basis. By doing these little things you are taking steps of faith and obeying God’s command to love your enemies.

4. Upgrade your energy level. If a nagging health problem is leaving you feeling stressed out and run down, start an exercise routine. No more excuses. Set aside time each day to get the exercise and care your body desperately needs. Rather than making excuses, make a plan…and stick to it. You may think that you simply don’t have the energy to exercise. You feel too bad, or you’re too tired. But I often find when I go ahead and begin to exercise that I start to feel better. Exercise takes energy, but it gives you back more energy than it takes!

5. Get out of your rut. If the demands of work are overwhelming and causing you to feel overloaded, do something about it. Delegate some tasks, reevaluate your systems or talk to your boss. (Your boss may not even realize how much you are doing or how it is negatively affecting your personal life.) Instead of complaining how overworked you are, look for ways to be more efficient and how to make the most of your time each day.

These are just a few examples, but as you can see, there are so many ways you can step out in faith in order to live the life Jesus died to give you.

Although it may be hard to believe when we are in the midst of struggle, our deepest pain is the catalyst for our transformation.Yet, healing and growth are not possible if the door is still open to those people and experiences that chip away at your peace.

Are you still allowing people and things that hurt you into your life? Truthfully, we cannot rebuke a devil that we continually grant access to our lives. You know that you don’t want to live in drama, for example, yet pick up the phone when that friend calls. He promised he would never put you down again, yet you’ve turned the other cheek so much your head is spinning.

Protection of ourselves, and our core, is critical. Psychologists have found that slipping into patterns of self-sabotage happens all too easily. In fact, whether it’s sticking to a health plan, quitting smoking, or removing ourselves from a toxic relationship, 80-90% of us will slide back to what feels familiar and comfortable. We generally do not want to step out of our comfort zone, yet just like a young woman said:

Conviction and Comfort don’t live on the same block.

Yet, researchers have found that we can use what they call “if-then plans” to change our unhealthy emotional patterns. Simply by thinking, or even writing down, “If (stressor/obstacle) arises, then I will (respond in this way)” gives us a concrete way out. Reframing these stressors will allow us to cut toxic people and situations out of our lives for good.It’s been said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Closing the door to what hurts you stops this cycle.Finding the strength to cut people out of our lives does not mean we hate them, but rather that we are striving to build up our respect for ourselves . We will no longer stand in the way of our own healing and growth. The roadblocks and stop signs are up–this road is finally closed.

My life went from less busy to very busy real quick, I couldn’t even keep up. But am here now.

If you are done from university, the questions you start to get more than anything else is “when are you getting married” or “who is the guy” and questions in that regard. Also this period, I have had the highest number of people I know getting engaged and am asking “is this in my neighbourhood and am just oblivious.” And it made me think about my single season and how much I am doing with it and realizing more about myself.

People are more interested in dating other people that they have not even dated themselves yet. The single season is a period for you to discover more about yourself, invest in your future. If you love to sew, find a sewing class and…

Life may be not what you planned. Actually if we’re honest when is it ever? There are times in our lives where we have a plan and then we turn around just to see that the plan is completely taken out, there’s 15 sub plots, the person you can’t stand is coming over, and the list goes on.

What do we do when life throws curve balls? We could just sit and pout and go to the “woe is me” phase. Sure, you may have perfect reasoning and justification to go into the depth of self pity, but what is that going to do in the long run?

So many times a week I could just let my emotions get ahold of me and just curl up in my bed and not come out. But alas, the life of adulthood does not allow for that. I have work, friends, a…

Complaining is dangerous . It can damage or even destroy your relationship with God, your relationships with other people, and even with your relationship with yourself. It’s easy to complain. We likely don’t realize how much we do it. I believe it’s one of the most challenging things to overcome.Philippians 2:14 says, Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining…. That’s a pretty clear command. And not something anyone can do in their own way

Like I said before, it’s easy to complain. There are many things that happen every day that we could murmur about. But they really aren’t worth the effort it takes to get upset and gripe about it. For example, we travel a lot and stay in a lot of hotels. I like to take a hot bath to relax before speaking at our conferences. Once when I went to fix my bath, I discovered there was no hot water. So I called the front desk to see about getting hot , but they weren’t able to fix the problem when I needed them to. And later, I learned that my room was the only room in the hotel that didn’t have hot water!

Now, I could have gotten all upset about this at the time. But God helped me to relax about it and resist the temptation to get upset. And the truth is, complaining wouldn’t have changed anything – it would have just made the situation harder.

Complaining comes from an ungrateful, prideful attitude of the heart. It causes us to feel that we shouldn’t be inconvenienced or have bad things happen to us. The truth is, I’ve done most of my spiritual growing during the hardest and most painful times of my life. The trials of life have caused me to press in to God. And as I’ve done that, He’s changed me. He’s helped me to develop an attitude of gratitude and humility, which has brought real freedom into my life.

Make it your goal to have a constant attitude of gratitude. Resist the temptation to complain and instead praise and thank God for who He is and all He’s done for you. By God’s grace and through His strength, you can overcome complaining and live each day with a thankful heart!

According to World Report, over 70% of people land jobs through networking. Networking is key to advancing your career or business. When done correctly, it can result in a new position, contract or worthwhile business deal.

On the other hand, when done ineffectively, though, it can lead to wasted time or –– far worse –– a bad first impression. At the core of good networking is effective relationship building, which means fostering meaningful conversations and focusing on the person to whom you are speaking. In turn, you’ll have the opportunity to share who you are and, in the process, uncover potential opportunities.Take your networking to the next level by avoiding these common mistakes people make when attempting to build their networks.1. Don’t Wait To Be ApproachedAvoid playing shy. You might not usually approach strangers, but networking events provide the perfect cover for you to initiate a conversation. Start by asking open-ended questions like, “What do you enjoy most about X?” or “Why did you get involved with Y?” And don’t let the conversation stop at the event. Instead, follow up, because most people won’t. Send a quick email thanking your new contact, and if you’re looking to meet up again, mention it then.2. Don’t Be InauthenticAvoid superficial conversations by cultivating curiousity. The wider your range of interests, the more capable you’ll be of staying true to yourself while allowing the conversation to go where it may. The best way to appear interesting is to be interesting. Conversations will only get awkward once you begin overthinking and stepping outside yourself.3. Don’t Be Self-CenteredAvoid framing every interaction in terms of how you might benefit. Instead, look at the initial conversation as the start of a relationship that you’ll need to water to grow. The fruits of networking sometimes take several seasons to develop. Be faithful in cultivating authentic relationships centered around mutual interests.

Life as we know it is not a bed of roses. We must constantly encourage ourselves and push for greatness. Sometimes, we get to some points where we feel like we can’t go further than this, but if there’s one thing you should know, it is ‘While you’re still breathing, never ever give up’. Let these quotes from T.D Jakes further inspire you to be a better version of yourself.

1. “Don’t stop at where you are as if it were the destination, when in fact, in reality, it may be the transportation that brings you into that thing you were created to do.” Our current circumstances should never limit us from reaching our true potential. We must turn our struggles into the vehicles that spur our transformation.

2. “Everything you’ve gone through is preparation for what’s about to happen in your life. The LORD has already given you a word, MOVE!”When we “move,” we bring about the growth we desire. Tragedy hasn’t stopped you, heartbreak didn’t defeat you, failure does not define you; use this hard-earned wisdom to grasp your purpose and shape your future.

3. “We need to be who we were called to be instead of contorting ourselves into what other people want us to be!” The surest way to lose yourself is to focus on other people’s voice instead of your own. Jakes calls on us to walk into our destiny and embrace our true purpose in life. Stop conforming!

4. “It is time for us to find the thing we were created to do, the people we were meant to affect, and the power that comes from alignment with purpose.”This powerful quote from his book, “Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive ,” speaks to the clarity to be gained from the search for our truth. If you are in a job that drains you, it’s time to galvanize your forces and take the necessary steps to move on. The road will be taxing, but the promise of fulfilling your true purpose will fortify your conviction.

5. “Here is the problem with how many people approach the question of purpose: Many are looking outside of themselves for their purpose, destiny, or meaning in life. The very key to knowing your purpose is discovering and celebrating your personal identity.”Purpose resides in us; we must be directors in the script of our lives. In his work “Identity: Discover Who You Are and Live A Life Of Purpose,” T.D. Jakes reminds us that as you get to know more about yourself –– your likes, dislikes, values and triggers –– you will have a greater sense of whether or not the life you lead suits you. Life’s noise can be deafening; when is the last time you sat in complete silence and listened for the messages from your heart?

6. “God is about to plant you in a big thing. Your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard, neither has entered into your heart what God has in store for you!”From his electric sermon, “The Starving Prince,” from The Potter’s House Sunday service, Jakes challenges us to believe in our purpose. The “big thing” we were meant to do is coming! As you search for your true purpose in life, do not waver in your faith to overcome your current adversity.

7. “If we are called to be the salt of the earth, we have to get out of the saltshaker. Get out of your comfort zone, enlarge your territory.” We are called to embrace change. Turn your tumultuous relationship around, heal the wounds that hold you back, dare to take a step towards your dream career. Your actions will loosen the ties that bind and will move you closer to where you are supposed to be.

8.”Your Passion is your conviction about it, your Purpose is why you do it, your Destiny is where.” Passion and purpose are joined at the hip and move together, lock-step, towards destiny. Where there is passion, connect it to your purpose. Then set your goals higher than you think humanly possible. You will find your reward.

9. “At any age you can still ignite your passion through finding your purpose!” Consider an athlete or a famous musician. They thrive in the skill that defines them, and the energy flow is seamless. We can all tap into our own inner excellence and radiate this same energy. Were you meant to counsel others? Do you have a way with numbers? As Jakes discusses, find your genuine purpose and never settle for false comfort. Ignite your passion and your purpose will reveal itself!

10. “When you know your purpose, you know what isn’t your purpose, so you can stop being distracted trying to do something that is not in the wheelhouse of what you were designed to do!” You need to find the wheelhouse of what you were called to do. T.D. Jakes calls on us to shed our toxic distractions and share our divine spark on a daily basis. He reminds us that as long as we have breath in our bodies, we have the ability to flourish.

The Living Room is probably the first part of an interior that you encounter, when entering a house. ​The living room accomodates a plethora of activities which include entertainment, relaxation, TV viewing, inter alia. Yet when we get sick of our surroundings and need something different, it’s tough to make big changes in the context of our busy lives and small budgets. That’s when small, cheap tweaks come in handy. Everyone deserves a living room that exhumes a homely and welcoming attitude, including you. In lieu of this, changing the face of your space isn’t so much of a herculean task and can be achieved by some simple yet groundbreaking ideas which I would be sharing below.

Here are 10 budget-friendly ways to change the face of your space;

1. Go Online : Going online is a great way to get inspired on ideas for designing a space on a low budget. Opps!!! Forgiv me you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t do this already right? Browsing would also give you a sneak peek into other people’s living rooms to get an idea of what you like, and just as importantly, what you don’t.

2. Go Green (not with envy though): Greenery is one of the best ways to liven up a space. See if one of your friends or neighbors will divide up one of their plants and give it to you, then find a vessel around the house for your new organic friend.

3. Stack Your Books: Piled books draw the eye.A stack of books adds needed color, or is a nice space-filler when you don’t want to buy pricier accessories. If shelves aren’t high enough or deep enough to accommodate oversize books, stack them on a flat surface, such as a bench or an end table.

4. Move Things Around: Get acquainted with a different part of your space by moving around your furniture. Put your desk by a window for a change, or orient your sofa towards the fireplace vs. the television for a while.

5. DIY something: Aside from the good feeling you get from making something with your hands, DIY projects are inexpensive ways to decorate. It doesn’t have to be large— even a quick no-sew pillow adds something new to a room. Pillows are relatively easy to make yourself, so choose fabrics such as velvet or silk that exude luxury. Use the expensive fabric for only one side of the pillow, the other side can be faux silk and can either contrast in color or complement. This is where you can show your personal style.

6. Paint it up: This is one of the cheapest and easiest things you can do to switch up a room. It immediately changes the mood, looks fresh, and can be done without a lot of money.A fresh lick of paint can do wonders to brighten a room. Update tired furniture, and be brave: use a color accent from your favorite piece of art that will be hung in the room and apply it to a piece of furniture to turn it into a statement. Refresh tired wooden floors and any architectural features. Do not ignore the ceiling. You can add height to your room by having a lighter tone on it.

7. Declutter: You need to strip out your living room and be ruthless as to what stays and what goes. By getting rid of excess clutter, you are immediately changing the status quo. Your tastes change as the years go by, and what may have been a cutesy ornament twenty years ago may now very well look dated.

8. Find Beauty in the Everyday: Take a look around for regular items that have special visual appeal. Whether it is your collection of boots (above), or an old kimono, displaying them in a conscious way elevates both your objects and the room.

9.Hang a Gallery of Photos: Mine your albums for your best shots (pick a theme: weddings, birthday parties, vacations) and put them in identical frames. Hang in a tight grid or a long line. You can’t go wrong if you stick to a geometric arrangement.

10. Keep it Simple: Ever heard of the statement ‘Less is more’ Yeah, it applies to interior design and decoration as well. Keep your design simple. You don’t need to throw in all your favourite colours and accessories in one space. Imagine if I served you a plate of all your foods mashed up together, wouldn’t you think I need ‘very serious’ help? So, cool it down guys. There are still other spaces in your house that can take on other colours and accessories.

Your network is indeed your net worth. Building genuine and productive relationships that prove mutually beneficial is one of the most crucial things you can do to position yourself for growth and success. While you should never force connections or relationships, your network should always be organically and consistently growing.

Building a strong, reliable network can be a game-changer when it comes to progressing through your life and career. It is important to invest in people and relationships that are as diverse as your interests, curiosity and the opportunities you wish to attract. Fostering an authentic network can change your life, so never be afraid to fine-tune it as you see fit.

If you are unsure as to whether there is a missing link in your network puzzle, here are three signs that it might be time for expansion.

1. You see the same people.

Everywhere you go –– socially or professionally –– you never encounter fresh faces or make new introductions, because you already know everyone in the room. It is hard to make bigger and better moves when you are around the same people all the time. Change your environment and you will enhance your network.

2. You lack inspiration.

You should always surround yourself with people and things that constantly bring value, inspiration and insight. It encourages growth and development. If your environment seems to be lacking in the inspiration department, it might be a sign you need to venture out and explore new things.

3. You’re not attracting opportunity.

When you position yourself with the right people, within the right sphere, you should naturally attract opportunity. If you find that nothing really seems to be moving for you, perhaps it’s time for a new game plan with a different set of players.

The best passion you can develop is a passion for your own growth. To further shape your perspective and become connected to other individuals who share similar interests, be open to exploring different environments and experiences. Complacency can become your enemy if the desire to reach your potential begins to fade. Stay focused on the end goal and make each moment a step in the direction of your destiny.

Soyou have that date with this folk you’ve probably never met before. Current of ideas flowing through our head and ‘what to do’ and ‘what not to do’. Confusion (or anxiety-if you prefer that term) seems to made your mind its temporary residence.Finally the hour comes. You are the agreed venue for the date. At this point you’re heart is probably giving you some nice DJ music (especially if its your first date). Now you’re wondering “OMG!!! Do I like nice? Is my hair looking good? Do I smell nice? What would be his/her first reaction when we meet face-to-face. Wollup (hold up) Dear…With all these confusion, you would probably just mess up this while thing.

Relax, you don’t need to overthink things, just keep on reading. Below are 10 tips that would help you achieve a perfect ‘first’ date night (or could it be ‘date morning or afternoon’-that would be a bit weird-night is just perfect)

Show Up Early
Showing up on time or fashionably late on your first date is a big turnoff. It shows that you didn’t care enough to plan ahead and get to the spot early. Make sure you know the quickest route to the date venue, and that you show up a few minutes early. In fact, showing up before the other person gets there is always a good idea. It puts you on strong footing, and shows your date you care about making a good impression

Ask Questions

This doesn’t mean you should take a list of questions with you to the date, but you should have questions in mind to ask your date. These questions don’t need to be intrusive, but they should show that you’re interested in learning more about the person. Some good questions are: ‘What qualities do you look for in your friends?’ and ‘What would your best friend say about you?

Go Easy On the Alcohol

Limit yourself to one alcoholic beverage during your date. Some people try to take the edge of their nervousness by drinking, which can lead to a buzz and disastrous conversation. And remember that your date is taking mental notes about everything you do, and if you’re slamming down cocktails, that may not gain you any brownie points.

Be Honest

One tendency on a first date is not to rock the boat, so people often give canned or safe answers to questions they are asked. But it’s always better to be honest with your opinions, though that doesn’t mean you should intentionally offend. First dates are all about making assessments, and people can tell if you’re speaking from the heart, or just giving standard responses.

No Dirty Talk

Not sure it has to be mentioned, by avoid talking about the bedroom. Unless you and your dates discover that you are freaks, this is not an appropriate topic for a first date. It’s not bold or interesting to reveal your desires to someone who is pretty much a stranger, so curb your conversation about the bedroom.

Dress Well

You don’t have to wear a tux or a suit, but don’t come in torn jeans and flip-flops either. Casual elegance is the name of the game, so show up as if you respect the person on the date and yourself. Anything ripped or stained is out, just keep business casual in mind, and you’ll be fine.

Don’t Check Your Phone

No matter how obsessed you are with your smartphone, don’t check it on your first date. If you take a call or send a text during the date, it’s a sign that you’re bored, or that you don’t respect your date enough to wait to use your phone. And frankly, unless it’s an emergency, there’s no reason to be on your phone during a date.

Smile

Another thing that sounds simple, but is often overlooked is the art of smiling. Smiling is one of the most effective ways to put your date at ease. A genuine smile shows that you’re having fun and that you’re enjoying spending time on the date.

Avoid Going Somewhere Distracting

What’s distracting? Going on a first date to a place that’s overflowing with beautiful women and hot guys. Your goal is to focus on your date without being tempted by distractions, so going to a club filled with women in skimpy dresses and men with muscles is probably not the best idea.

Do Your Research

Chances are that your first date was generated by another encounter, or by a dating website, so you do have the opportunity to do some background intel on your date. Most people have some kind of social media presence, so going on the person’s Facebook account can yield some information that you can use to generate conversation during the date.

First-date jitters are natural — you’ve probably thought endlessly about what you should wear, how to avoid awkward silences, and if you’re even going to like your potential match. There’s nothing wrong with being optimistic, but remember not to get too ahead of yourself, either. Even if you think things are going well, your date may be thinking just the opposite. And there’s no worse feeling than calling them a week later just to realize it’s always going straight to voicemail. So, we have a few tips to avoid the embarrassment. Watch for these 5 possible red flags on your first date.

They keep checking their phone

We all check our phones more often than we probably should, but when you’re on a date, it’s important to put your phone away and engage with the person sitting across from you. A companion who can’t put down his or her device is hinting how they feel the date is going.

Andrew Przybylski, a psychologist at the University of Essex, tells Live Science turning off your phone during a date “communicates care and compassion, and that the present moment is really important.” A date who keeps staring at their screen more than your face may be looking for some entertainment outside of you and what you may have to offer.

They don’t make eye contact

Body language often speaks louder than words. If you’re mystified as to whether or not your date is into you, take note of how often their eyes are connecting with yours. Relationship coach Toni Coleman explains on The Sideroad that good eye contact is a sure sign your date is interested in you. When your match retains eye contact, they’re relaxed, comfortable, and receptive to what you’re saying — they’re staying present in the situation and want to be there. A date who avoids eye contact is probably uncomfortable or uninterested.

If you can sense your date is shy from the moment you meet, then you’ll have to gauge their other behaviors to tell if they really like you. Someone who’s extroverted but still won’t look you in the eyes probably doesn’t want a second date.

They don’t attempt physical contact
You’re probably not expecting (or desiring) a ton of physical contact with someone you’re just getting to know, but the occasional knee brush or hand hold is to be expected. If your date makes absolutely no effort to touch you in some minor way, this is a signal that they may not be particularly interested.

You should also be wary of the date who will touch you in private but never in public, says eHarmony. This could be a sign they’re only there for a quick fling and don’t want to be associated with you in any serious way. Your date may not be the biggest fan of PDA, but holding, or at least touching, hands in public shouldn’t cause much resistance.

They’re distracted when you’re speaking
It’s frustrating when you’re speaking to a friend who clearly isn’t listening, but it’s even worse when you’re telling a story to your date who seems more interested in the wallpaper than your words. It’s a sure sign you’re not the only thing on your date’s mind. Unsure of if your date is listening or not? Business Insider says fidgeting, finger tapping, or turning their body away from you, means they’ve tuned out.

They don’t share anything personal about themselves

Dating is exciting because you get to know someone new. This is your opportunity to dig into their interests, thoughts, fears, and what makes them truly unique, so it can throw a wet blanket on the date when the other party shoves all of your questions aside. While there are certain topics you shouldn’t discuss on your first few outings together, your date should still be willing to give you some personal information, and they should be asking you questions as well.

If your partner seems lukewarm, analyze what your conversations are about. Psychology Today notes it’s easier than ever to keep in touch with just about anybody thanks to smartphones, but don’t be fooled into thinking your date really likes you just because they text you back. Think about your conversations — do they mention friends and family, or do they keep the conversation vague even after you continue to see each other? Your conversations should naturally get more personal the longer you date.