Pat Burns’ widow robbed during funeral

Pat Burns

There have been stupid criminals in the past – people who do things that mean they’ll instantly get caught, or that their stolen items are essentially worthless because of their notoriety. You steal the Mona Lisa? Good luck finding a buyer.

It’s certainly beyond low, compounding a family’s pain by stealing treasured mementos from the life of their loved one, himself barely in his grave, especially since those items were reportedly going to be auctioned off for Burns’ foundation to help amateur sports. And it’s also beyond slimily opportunistic. There’s honour among thieves, or at least there’s supposed to be. This shit ranks right up there with stealing Christmas gifts out from under the tree while the family’s at midnight mass.

But stupid, I have to say, trumps both low and opportunistic here, mainly because the items stolen include signed hockey jerseys. Every hockey collector who knows their stuff will instantly know if they’re getting dealt goods stolen from Line Burns’ car. And then if they are true hockey fans, they won’t bother calling the cops until after. No, they will simply politely nod, smile, and then knock out the seller’s two front teeth. And maybe the laterals for good measure. Because you just don’t pull that shit on a grieving widow. You just don’t. And especially not the widow of Pat Burns.

I saw tweets that referred to this thief as “the Most Hated Person In Canada Right Now”.