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June 29, 2009

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The shot opens with the words COMEDY FETISH CONFESSION #34. In the
background, you can see piano keys being played. The shot fades to show
Craig Robinson sitting at the piano, wearing a button down shirt and a
sports coat. There is a drink on the piano. The setting is a nightclub
with low lighting. It appears to be late at night after the club has
closed for business for the day.

Craig Robinson: Hi, I’m Craig Robinson. Let’s get sexy.

As Craig Robinson begins to plays the piano, he and the piano begin to
rotate and the rotation continues throughout the duration of the video.

Craig Robinson: Sometimes a relationship loses its spark. To reignite
it, sneak into your ladies apartment and hide in the closet with a
chocolate gun. When she gets home, jump out and surprise her with it.
Ladies love chocolate.

Craig Robinson adds a little extra soul to the piano playing.

Craig Robinson: Let your girl know you find her body sexy. Take little pictures of her and put them on the internet.

Craig Robinson (speaking): Make farts your friends. Put a Certs up you
butthole. Turn every fart into freshening blast of wintergreen
goodness.

Craig Robinson (singing): Smells like candy. Let’s get sexy.

Craig Robinson (speaking): Flavored condoms sound like a good idea, but
in the end, you’re still wearing a condom. One of the most romantic
things you can do is remember the name of the person you’re sleeping
with. And one of the most important things you can do is remember if
she’s the one who has the rape fantasy.

Craig Robinson (singing): I don’t remember the safe-word. Tell me the
safe-word. Let’s get sexy. Filling my penis with blood. We get sexy.

Craig Robinson stops playing the piano, picks his tie up off the piano
and gets up. Craig Robinson takes one step, falls down, and knocks ove
a table. He gets up, begins putting the table and chairs back into
place. The words COMEDY FETISH CONFESSION #34 appear.