What Is The Difference Between Selling And Flirting?

Yves is one of my best friends. I’ve known Yves since my university days. Back then, Yves lit the fire of student parties. As a passionate DJ he loved life, he loved to stay up late, and we all envied him for his insane success with the other gender. I always wondered, What is his secret formula? One day, he came down to visit me in Barcelona. Wandering around in the picturesque Born district, finally, he shared his secret with me. And I couldn’t believe the simplicity of his answer.

There’s no difference at all between great selling and great flirting.

Think about the three best sales persons you know. What do they have in common? Whatever they look like, whatever they behave like – they do it the ASU way. ASU – Ask (openly) and Shut Up! Great sales people ask open questions and open questions only. Any closed question, which can be answered by Yes or No, is forbidden. It would instantly kill the conversational flow hence the information stream.

Do you plan to enter new markets?

No.

As a sales guy you want, you need, you have to suck out information from your prospect. Only by keeping that information stream flowing you’ll get to the core of the problem. No problem, no solution. No solution needed, no sale.

What are your plans to grow the business?

Much better.

The difficult part is to keep doing it the ASU way. As humans we love to follow our assumptions. Assumptions love closed questions.

For sure, you thought about growing your business through new product launches!

No.

Bang! Dead again.

Now think about all your flirtation experiences in life. Doesn’t the same apply to flirting?

I remember how I asked a question to a beautiful young lady. She was the dancing queen and I was 15 years old. I was shy, I was timid, I was – damn, why can’t I travel back in time! I scratched all my rudiments of self-confidence together, walked over to her and asked her,

Do you like the music?

No.

That’s where our conversation ended. Closed questions can kill puberty dreams. Closed questions can kill your sale. ASU is the solution. That’s why I’m convinced that there’s no difference at all between great selling and great flirting.

Do you know what my friend Yves told me in Barcelona? I asked him, So, Yves, come on, after all these years, tell me, what is your secret formula?