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1/12/14

Some days we struggle with feeling so mean. Although every change that has happened to our new son is positive, it is change. His life literally went from one extreme to the other. He has had major transition and the things that he once found security in are gone. He is now being taught to have relationships with people, not objects or himself. He is responding really well, but does have moments of grieving.

We have had to completely go through demolition in his little life. Wipe out the bad habits, behaviors, anti-social tendencies, bad responses, ect. And replace it with all good things. A family, a general education school environment, a home, friends, a schedule, normal meals, and structure. Even though these are all positive changes, they are things being implemented for the first time in 7 years. And whether they are positive or not, they are new. And we have ripped out and done demolition on what he once thought was life. There is a beautiful transition happening in the middle of our construction site with this child.

We know it is for his best interest and he seems to trust that. This story we are living out reminds me so much of our own journey. It has given me great perspective on where people are and the mission we are really on. Our job to love others. Our job to show others Christ. But, in order to do that, you have to meet them in the middle of their mess. To adopt a child you have to take them as is. There isn't a layover place for them. So you either adopt and take them in or you don't.

Why are we so shocked by peoples sin? Why?
Even with my own son right now, would I expect his behavior to be any different than what it is? His behavior can be offensive to many, but is that surprising? It would be out of David or Mackenzie, but not Z. A child that has never had a family and had severe neglect, isolation, and abuses of different kinds, then institutionalized for 4 years...... would I be shocked by any behavior I see? No.

So, why, why then? Why do we as Christians act shocked, surprised, judgmental, condescending, and better than others? Especially at people who do not have the Lord as their Savior. How is it fair?Romans 1:28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
Let me translate that simply: If they are are not walking with the Lord, their walk will look the opposite of that. People that choose their way have been given over to their will.

They do not have a new heart. So, they are not to be held at the same standards. I cannot hold Z to the same disciplines as I hold my other 2 children at. It's not fair because his eyes are just being opened. He knows no different. But, we can pray for these people and those changes we want. We know that, "the prayers of the righteous avail much." James 5:16. I had a very neat lady that serves as the Special Education director here in our city share that with me about Z. I know I am his biggest advocate. At home, school, and now in his life. And that is what makes us his parents. How much more does our heavenly Father love us, fight for us, and advocate for us?

In the same way, when we see heinous, disturbing, sinful things in the media, celebrities, our neighbors, our spouse, children, or anywhere...... if they have not been transformed and entered a life changing relationship with our Maker, then what right do we even have to speak to that?

To take it one step further, what about the people that do know better? The ones that have claimed to know the Lord, yet live a double life? Let me just tell you I do know this: You are not the one that is going to change their heart, that is the Lords job. If you are unable in a loving way to continue a relationship despite where that person is, I would say the sin falls in your camp. I think there are only a few unsafe situations and those go without saying. It is the Lord who changes hearts and we stand in the gap to speak truth, love, and pray for them.

In the meantime, you will see some peoples life go to shreds. A real life wrecking ball do demolition and watch them loose everything they once had.

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord is tearing down the old, to replace it with something so much better. Isaiah 64:8, But you, O Lord, You are our Father. You are the clay and you are our potter. And all of us the work of your hand.
So, instead of taking a step back from these people, talking about them, thinking they have destroyed their life......

It may be one of the most beautiful things to watch. You may be at the very camp site of where God has set up. Because sometimes the Lord has to break and clear out the old ways to make a way for what He is going to do and build.

When I see destructive sin, I see an opportunity for the Lord. For us as believers. I am drawn to it. Not out of gossip and fascination, but out of pleading it is the Lords work.

Next time you see caution or crime tape and you naturally don't want to go in, I dare you to cross over anyway. When people do that, lives are changed.
Sometimes a wrecking ball is the very thing we all need.

1/3/14

One of our favorite restaurants in downtown Marietta is Taqueria Tsunami. It has a huge variety of really fun tacos. Our kids love it as well. At the end of the meal, they bring you fortune cookies. We always have a good time with how silly they are. We usually never get serious ones so it is funny.
On our last visit there, my fortune read: Adversity willingly undergone is the greatest virtue.

Touche, little fortune cookie, touche.

Tim and I laugh about our crazy journey a lot because out of all the hardship and suffering we have had that was out of our control, we have now entered a place where we go down chosen roads that are very difficult. We steer our life towards it.
We may be sick people.
Ha!

We have more plans for 2014 that would be considered difficult and a path of adversity. I have learned that you don't owe anyone an explanation for it. To each his own.
Anyway, a verse I love and am praying for 2014 is John 16:33.
In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

We are promised trouble, but we are given help. And more importantly, we are given HOPE.

In light of our adoption, that is where we find ourselves. With help. And with hope.

Things are going well and we are having more good days than bad. It is truly amazing to watch a life literally be transformed. We have a lot of appointments set up for January for our little fella and we are continually optimistic that we have put him on a road to healing. It has really been perfect timing with adopting him in the middle of the holidays. With school being off, Tim not working a crazy amount, and so many festive things to do.... our family has really settled in and had a great time together. On the same note, January is bringing in some normalcy. Christmas can be a little overwhelming and for our little guys first one, all of the crazy needs to settle. Someone gave us some great advice to take videos of him, as well of photos, to literally see the difference in him months from now. I can already see them and its so cool.
He is becoming so responsive. So aware. And his happiness is crazy. He makes us laugh so much and we have nicknamed him "Skippy" because he is SO happy to go out and run errands he normally skips every place we go.
It took David and Mackenzie a long time to figure out why in the world he was bursting with excitement to go to the grocery store.

Blessings to everyone in the new year! I want to challenge you, as continually doing with my own family, to not make plans and decisions based on what will make your life easy. Don't let adversity slow you down or change your mind in moving forward.

We have found almost every time walking straight into it has brought some of our greatest moments. And if anything else, has made life a whole lot more fun :)