Can You Make It Through This Two-Minute Makeout Video Without Passing Out?

Good morning I want to die a little.

By
Carina Hsieh

Nov 4, 2016

Yes, this is a video wherein 100 brave people demonstrate how they would kiss glass for a fleeting chance at virality and the prospect of an old high school friend sharing the clip on their FB page with the note "LOL is this you Nate? Wild!." (It's always a Nate.)

The video is disturbing to say the least, although it's really through no fault of the brave participants. Have you ever tried kissing glass? I did just now — for journalism, thanks very much — and uh, I can confirm that it is in fact, bad. Bad! Two dimensional objects are not ergonomically designed for human mouths. No, Kissing flat surfaces is a memory best left in middle school, along with lying about having gotten your period already ("Yes, I get it every month Sarah, it's just not regular okay! And obviously I wear tampons, my mom is Cool and lets me do that.")

Still, some highlights to watch for:

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I thought about GIFs but it was too much. It's just so weird to think about how humans first discovered kissing. Like, it's not required to mate and evolve so from an evolutionary standpoint, so what the fuck? I hate kissing.

Anyways watch the video above (if you appeared in the video, please get in touch because I want to know all the details). And let me know: if you were given a choice between aggressively tongue-fucking a piece of plexiglass or pouring glass cleaner into your vagina, would you spring for Windex or go generic?

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