Lawyer under fire

An assistant prosecutor in the Philippines has taken the cardinal rule of relationship trouble, as expounded by groundbreaking modern philosopher and popular musical performer, Shaggy, to heart - whatever you're supposed to have done to upset your partner, it definitely wasn't you. No way.

Quezon City litigator, Philip Dela Rosa, has told the Department of Justice that he does not appear in a video allegedly showing him engaging in extramarital sex acts with a fellow lawyer, which has come to the attention of the courts as part of a legal dispute between him and his spouse.

Mr Dela Rosa is under investigation on charges of grave coercion, grave threats and violation of the Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act following a complaint from his wife, who mistakenly stumbled across the mucky video on his laptop, reports the Manila Standard.

"He's denying the video. He's not the one in the video," his wonderfully-named lawyer Modesto Ticman Jr said. Shaggy himself would be proud of this stalwart act of denial, although whether the court will be convinced has yet to be seen.

What's more, the indomitable and assistant prosecutor is launching a counter-complaint against his angry wife for allegedly stealing his BMW car, charges she also denies.

"I don't think that's robbery. I bought that car and I just gave it to him. He knows that. It's in my name," she declared.

This seedy Elmore Leonard-esque tale of fast cars, sordid videos and high-flying legal professionals will come to a climax at the next hearing on 1st March.