The almost true exploits of an intrepid spinster and her stitching...and all of the things that make up her crazy, happy, quiet little life.

Jun 4, 2009

PLEASE PASS THE TYLENOL

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's curled up in a little ball in my fort under the big night-night bed. (I have to designate it as such, because I have several areas in which to sleep and I prefer to name them. Besides, if I go from place to place and look cute my mom gets all mooshy and leaves cookies on all of my pillows.)

I'm not sure what happened exactly, but methinks it has something to do with gates that are too small and soft? All I know is that I heard her cussing at the 'puter this morning saying something like: "Damn you Mr. Gates and your stupid Microsoft too!".

I think the problem that mom has is that the 'puter is smarter than she is. As a matter of fact, it does things at 3am like download new programs or updates, and IT tells HER how it's going to do things. Apparently, this doesn't sit well with the old lady, since she likes things JUST SO, and she gets really peeved when she has to hit too many buttons to read your blogs.

Now I know that I'm just a simple puppy, but I'm pretty sure that it's an Internet Explorer problem, and all I need to do is go uninstall the Version 8 that came with the Vista program, and all will be well in the kingdom again. I'll also need to send a quick note to Mr. Gates to let him know that he should definitely think about bringing me on as a consultant. I seem to have a knack for getting my mom off the ledge when it comes to this machine, so I suppose I could be useful when it comes to helping other distraught spinster computer users.

Mom has done a little stitching on her bargello project:

My favorite thing in this picture isn't the stitching, actually. It's the little pin cushion that my Aunt Chrissy brought over to mom yesterday. Mom had a little flu thing going on and Aunt Chrissy stopped over after work to surprise us with a visit and this little gift. Isn't it wonderful? I just love that fabric (I'm nuts for paisley, after all), and I think the beads give it real pizzazz. I've given it my seal of approval and have promised repeatedly not to pee on it, so Mom feels comfortable leaving it on her TeeVee tray for both of us to enjoy.

I've got a busy day planned. The neighbor's sprinklers are going off at the moment, so I'm going to beg Mom to let me out so that I can run through the wet grass. Then I think I'll take a look at the garden to see how my cabbages are doing, and I might even have a snack at the bird feeder with the ducks. Beatrice and Eugene have been joined recently by their brother-in-law Hank, so I don't have to feel like a third wheel all the time.

Then I think I'll come in and take a snooze in the sun, pee on a few furniture legs, and call it a day. If Aunt Chrissy comes over I'll beg her to play ball with me, since she seems to understand my sensibilities and doesn't take any crap when I don't feel like returning the ball directly to her. (Mom gets pouty and then throws a tantrum, but Aunt Chrissy basically tells me that if I don't give her the #*$&@^ ball then she isn't going to play with me anymore. No guilt. Just common sense. I love that about her.)

That's it from here, kids. I'll keep you updated as to my mom's status under the bed. She does look rather comfortable under there, so maybe I'll just slide her a little snack and a diet Coke and enjoy the quiet for a few hours!

I also hate 'puters that "think" they know what you want to do and do it without any approval...like indenting every line just 'cause I indented one! Sheeesh.Stewie, tell Mom she is NOT ALONE!The Bargello piece looks great, too.

Stewey, your quite the little man, and your assessment of the computer problem is righ on. In fact, I wish you would send that explanation to the MicroSoft Help Desk; I think they would love it. Be careful running through the sprinklers, you don't want to slip down. Give your mommy a big hug and doggy kiss; she sounds like she needs some special care right now. And tell her the bargello is beyond wonderful.

I was missing your mom's updates the last couple of days. I had hoped that she had gone off to the tropics for a clandestine tryst with Jeffrey Dean, but alas, no. Tell her I hope she's feeling tip top soon.

Stewey - I love your stories. I hope that your mom is doing better now. BTW, my kids think that you're adorable (especially the one picture with your teeth showing) and they would like a Stewey too. What type of dog exactly are you? Besides adorable, (yes, I know your mom calls you DAMNED), what breed are you?

First of all, Stewey, let's get something straight: You are the furthest thing from a "simple puppy" that I've ever seen.

And second of all, tell your mom to get a Mac. Of course, that might solve her computer issues so completely that she wouldn't need you for computer support any longer. How secure is your position in the household otherwise?

Don't get me started on version 8. It eventually lets you read all the blogs you want to, but the first day was terrible. Stewey is the best for stepping in for you. Chrissy's pin pillow is very pretty, how sweet. CJ ok;-)

Stewey - you have done it again, GREAT post. I just had to comment when I saw you already at 13 comments and the supersticous scot in me said it can't stay at 13 for long! I bet I spelled supersticous wrong too! Keep up the good work.

Hope by now all is well at Chez Spinster and that mommie is feeling much better. Aunt Chrissy's TLC is probably all she needed. Stewey, I watched the movie, "My Dog Skip" today,and thought of you. Have you seen it? Maybe you have it on DVD? Skip reminded me a lot of you, except you're cuter, but there was no menion of Skip peeing on things. I think you're sleeker too. Probably younger and certainly more photogenic. Keep posing, I love seeing your pictures. Hope you get another day running through the sprinkler soon.

Tell Mum that Internet Explorer 8 sucks, I cannot get into half the blogs I used to, but most are OK so long as I'm not actually signed in to whatever it is I sign into to get my emails. I get lots of error messages too about abortions, which is a worry.

Oh Stewey. I love your blogging. :) But I must be sure to NEVER read your posts in front of my Rory. He is young and very imprssionable right now. Wouln't want to give him any ideas about peeing on the furniture. Tsk. Tsk.