Linggo, Agosto 18, 2013

This has
to be some kind of record. It has been two months (give or take) since I last
updated my handful of readers to the goings on of my not-so-remarkable life. It
goes without saying that a lot has happened the past couple of months that left
me in a somewhat sordid state, not the least of which was the theft of my
phone. (I’d rather not talk about that in detail.) But, considering that I’m
writing this in my alma mater (That I’ll discuss in detail in my next post.),
I’m feeling good about things. (That won’t last.)

So. Let’s
catch up.

The Current Affair.

The last
few times I posted, I was writing about this girl who I called my Anti-Thesis.
Yeah, she’s my girlfriend now. It was quite sudden, and it’s been a mixture o
ecstatic and hellish most of the time, but as of this writing, we’re still
together, and as far as I know, we still want to be.

We’ve been
going through some stuff, and I foresee new and unpleasant shit coming, but, at
least as I’m writing this, the relationship will soldier on. I mean, it has to.
I’m 31. A long term relationship would be nice.

The Jobs.

One of the
reasons why I haven’t been blogging is that I’ve been busy. What with the
weekly scripts as well as the work at the Think Tank (a job I’ve neglected for
a week or two resulting in a financial clusterfuck), not to mention a new
relationship, I have been more than a little preoccupied. It’s better than
doing nothing, though, considering the circumstances.

The Big Man’s Latest Project.

As if the
Think Tank and the TV writing gig weren’t enough, I went and added the Big
Man’s latest project on my usually loaded plate of activities. It started out
nicely enough, and I enjoyed shilling beauty products and being the mouthpiece
of the group, but over the past couple of months, interest seems to have
fizzled out from most people involved. I guess we’ll see how this turns out.

Sleepless Nights Once More.

Another
one of the reasons why I haven’t blogged in so long is that what with the
relationship troubles, the overworking, the theft, the lack of sleep and the
already established mental issues, my problems with anxiety, depression, and
all their friends have come back with a vengeance. Thing is, I’m in a far
better place than I was back n 2009, but it’s as bad as it was back then. Worse,
on certain days.

I feel
over burdened and there’s no one I can share the weight with. Yes, I do have
friends, some really good ones, but there isn’t a specific problem to take down
here. The theft put the exclamation point on the whole thing. It highlighted my
trust issues, my feelings of isolation, and reintroduced the sense of
hopelessness that I thought I had expelled.

The
difference between then and now is, after two months of dealing with
everything, I’ve decided to change how I handled my issues. I’m tired of
fighting and seeing as it’s never worked, I’ve decided to embrace it. All of
it. The dark thoughts, the paranoia, the anxiety, the entire crazy person
package.

So no, I’m
not okay. Far from it. The exact opposite of, even. But this is how things are
now, and as always, I will adapt and deal.

In light
of all that, I’ve decided to start anew. Time for another reboot, so, starting
with the next post, the chronicles of my personally overly romanticized life
will be seen here.