“We discovered that it was OK to have a little high-brow as long you have a lot of low-brow. That’s entertainment value. The one thing you want to avoid is the middle brow, because the whole world is frigging middle brow at the moment.”
– Jon Langford

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Rick-dickulous

In an attempt to lift his dispirited re-election campaign by any means necessary (got you thinking about Rush Limbaugh, didn't I?) Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum has opted to combine two of the Republicans' favorite amendments into one. Santorum today announced he would sponsor a "Fag Burning Amendment" to the Constitution. The Senator said, "This will protect flags, as people will be too busy setting legally required fire to flamers. And then there will be no man on dog sex and my marriage will be safe so my wife and I can bring more dead fetuses home. There will also be a part of the amendment that gets rid of the word militia in the second amendment, because that's just confusing, especially to my base of pigheaded-patriot, homophobe hunters."

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About Me

George markets only for the forces of good for a living. He has a paid hobby that involves eating, drinking, and writing, things he’d do for free, which is almost what he’s doing it for. In a previous life he taught mostly illiterate and generally ungrateful college students how to write. He has been a body guard for Jodie Foster, a walk-on dancer with French avant garde troupe Maguy Marin, a film programmer, a judge at an Iron Chef style competition, a political activist, a textbook author, a bassist in a band, a two-time league winning fantasy baseball manager, a union local president, a pr flack helping run a red carpet at an Angelina Jolie event, a janitor, a chauffeur to folks from TC Boyle to Andrei Codrescu, a delivery man to Plato's Retreat, a reluctant writer of a non-snarky intro for Colin Powell, a radio DJ, a corn detassler, an escort van driver, a rock journalist, a lab assistant for a company that made everything from mouthwash to super skin lubricant, and even, once, a poet. His biggest brush with fame was when Julie Christie fondled his tie, a tie George Lopez belittled to 1000 people minutes later. The best thing about him is his wife. His dogs aren't bad, either.