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it'll be near two years since the cruise that i've meet you on. sometimes i feel afraid of contacting you on facebook or deviantart, just scared of causing you more problems. its awkward to say, but the truth is i havent forgotten about u. there maybe a gab between letters, but its only because of life just being busy over all. lately been working 32 hrs a week as a teacher/lifeguard since the beginning of the summer. with that added, nothing much has been happening to me lately: broke my nail 3 weeks ago; 4th of july with my girlfriend; going to the gym whenever i can; ps3 games on and off; hobbies; normal things. tho ive been through a lot, been tired a lot from work, i find that i still havent forgotten about you. i guess i can say that the feelings mutual? even if your not here, i still feel like your near me. people's memories create time, not the cycle of the sun and moon. as long as the memories are still there that time will always be supported, it will never die even if some things do. what i've felt towards you after telling to stay away have mellowed down, but i still havent forgotten about u. its the same, as long as i never die, i'll remember what was important during the cruise. i have not been in contact with kara, cable, amy, jay, andra, joe, gabriel, carmella for quite sometime, ive deleted all the crusie pictures i've tooken that involved anyone from the teen club, and yet i remember some of the things that we've done even without them. i remember meeting everyone slowly, how andra and jay had a thing together, everyone thought i had a thing for either andra or amy, when i went back and forth with u and amy about anime, the great gorilla chase, when my foot needed icing u helped me pull out a chair for myself so both of us could play fooseball together, the dating game, our attempt to soft serve one of the teen club managers, our dance nights, doing kareoke when u sang eye of the tiger amy this one song and me singing black and white and beautiful soul (which i butchered), arcade, magic shows, us all walking out of the thor movie. there are just so many more memories that happened, and i'll keep every bit of them, its proof for me that what happened during the cruise existed.

to be honest: as of next month it'll be 4 years taht ive been with my girlfriend; i keep tabs on ur facebook/deviantart from time 2 time just to see how you are doing; i wanted to become a chief but never did; i get puppy love over people sometimes when things are tough w/my girlfriend but i've never cheated my entire time; im a mess with managable issues; ive called u some time after september/october last year only cuz aft you texted me from what im assuming u thought i was the date that took u to ur prom; i feel like this keysay1 on gaia is you only cuz of a gut feeling; i really thought we'd be friends forever ha

i feel bad for lying to you and to have done some things that r weird. i maybe turning 21 this xmas but im still the same person as i was 2 years ago. i do miss talking to you even if its slow or there isnt much to talk about. maybe what we need is just in person time, though idk when i'll see you again. im always hoping we can still be friends in the future. i'd be lying if i dont mis the shenanigans that we did or said in the past.

i probably shouldnt be doing these leters at all, but from what im hoping this should give u the story of what i've been thinking since our departed bond. i want to someday make amends and build a new bridge.