dragon
Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...

A touch from a witch and demon in disguiseAm I dreaming her on top of me?I turn away as if trying to make the nightmare go awayAm I sure I am dreaming why is it so real?

Hands laid upon my chest and shouldersscratches from your talon nailsbites to a shoulder and laughter there afterrough kisses forced tongues shoved down my throat

Half in and half out of sleep still dreaming this nightmare i must beI should wake soon but why can't i shake this dreamShe is to real this demon to go away

I awaken to find the nightmare was realdrugged out of my mind to be compliantanger and hatred fuel my ragesadness and shock hit me when i find your growing something

My seed you stole for your own gainPromised you that you wouldn't ever see themI kept the promise as you never didthough i can't take back the rapes you laid upon me it felt good knowing you begged to see my beautiful boys

MY gorgeous princes here now with metwo more products of a rape laid down on methey join an older brother one of rape produced himselfEach of them my love and heart and pride and joy

How excited my oldest should behow i can't wait to see him and how he has grownhas the effect of knowing his mother was my abuser worn off?Has his rape at the hands of the bitch and the demon got any easier to deal with?

My gorgeous twins join ranks of many children brought into life from rapethey won't ever be alone not reallyI just pray they won't ever feel the pain i go through and have gone throughI am protecting them now but is my love going to be enough?

Gorgeous angels sent to me from aboveyou've chosen me for your father but why i don't knowI am so joyous and happyyet sad and upset

I look at you so peaceful as you sleepCan i just muster the courage to say FUK IT and hold youI fear when time comes I won't be able to do thisI fear not being able to hand you over to the guardian angel

My love is strong and tearing me apartshould i hold you skin to skin as they saybond now for our short time is hereor do i turn my back thinking its easier this way?

Two little angels that hold my heart nowMy love is great and i feel no hatehow can i hate something that isn't at faultwhy the fuck can't i just hold you's

you cry and cry and i know you want mecalling for the daddy you sense is near youbut i fear once i hold you i won't be able to let go this timeit nearly killed me once though i know I can survive this time

Can you accept your father for the whore that he is?Your crying out summoning me to you I look down at your precious faces and pure perfect selfbut i am too scared to hold you and get close to you fear i will contaminate you

I am only the bastard whore father whom everyone calls me nowyou won't ever get to know me but know that i loved youone who loves you so much to CHOOSE another life for youone free from the hurt and pain i live daily

I summon my brothers for the strength I needthe love that i need so badly the wisdom and guidance i am seeking from themI call to my brothers and scream to them to hear me

This hurt and lost soul cries out for reassuranceI am only a still a child yet myself reallyWe are stronger together than apart for my brothers and Iwe are stronger apart than together my little angels

out of hate and cruelty came the best thing everit grew three little bundles loved so muchout of the hatred of othersCAME LOVE purest of all that scares the demons and monsters away

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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

i just see you are a good dad. dont be too hard on yourself, once more you care for the ones you love more than for yourself. that is very human. be proud of how you are, despite others keeping on putting you down in every way.

miss you, ela

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everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end

Hey Jayy, congratulation once more!I'm crying while reading your dilemma: would you put them on your skin or turning your back. Must be so difficult for you You are wonderful person, so special and delicate. I'm sure you are the best dad in the world and would be always.

Your children need your love and you have it a lot, it is blessing from skies. Don't be hard on yourself, we love you just as you are and accept you in full, you are great man. I wish that I can do more for you and your children, I'm praying for things to change.Keep fighting!

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