Barring a glossy Bollywood remake — which, honestly, could be kind of fun — India will not be releasing The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. According to The Hollywood Reporter, India's Central Board of Film Certification demanded some pretty big content cuts. To which David Fincher said, "No fucking way." (I doubt he used that language, but when rejecting censorship, it's always fun to throw in an extra swear.)

Having cringed my way through Fincher's film, I'll acknowledge that it's a lot to take. But to me, nothing felt gratuitous. Horrifying, yes, but essential to the plot all the same. And it's not only the already infamous anal rape scenes that had India's censors up in arms: they also wanted Fincher to ditch the consensual sex scenes. Come on, prudes. If we're going to suffer through some serious brutality, we deserve to be treated to Lisbeth's girl-on-girl action and Daniel Craig's bare ass.

The statement issued by Sony Pictures India was a little too resigned for my tastes.

The Censor Board has adjudged the film unsuitable for public viewing in its unaltered form and, while we are committed to maintaining and protecting the vision of the director, we will, as always, respect the guidelines set by the Board.

Where is your outrage, Sony Pictures India? While the standard practice in India is to simply blur out the naughty bits, Fincher was being asked to get rid of certain scenes entirely. Yes, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo had a few too many endings, but the movie wouldn't make any sense without those explicit scenes in the middle.

I'm glad Fincher denied the request, though it's a bummer for Indian Stieg Larsson fans who were excited to see Lisbeth Salander kick ass — "kick" being a euphemism — on the big screen. (The THR article doesn't mention if India ever released the original Swedish film.) And if a cleaned-up Bollywood version does get made, I'm campaigning for Aishwarya Rai to play Lisbeth. Sure, she's a little old for the role, but she's also the only Bollywood star I know by name.