Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

to file or not to file?

Not divorce, we're not there (yet). But bankruptcy. During college I totally fell into the credit card trap and then had some uninsured medical emergencies and we ended up in a lot of debt. For the last year and a half we have been doing a debt management plan. I have no complaints about this, I have seen my balances shrink and have been very happy with it. Well now that he has been out of work and I had to quit the second job due to being pregnant, we can't make that payment anymore. It is the equivilant of one whole paycheck for me. That is how much we are paying out on this debt every month.
3 weeks ago I contacted the agency and explained my situation. They contacted a few of my creditors who were receiving a large chunk of my payment every month to try and re-negoiate my payment. None of them would budge. Bastards.
So Now I am just at the point that I want to file bankruptcy and be done with it. I accept full responsibility for my debt and have fought it for close to 2 years now. But I simply do not have the money any more to keep making the payments at this point, and they don't accept partial payments. It pisses me off to no end that I am trying to do the right thing and the creditors are unwilling to help me. I can only miss 2 payments a year on this plan or I will be removed from it. Well I have now missed my 2nd payment, so I expect to be getting notification of being removed any day. Once I am not on this program anymore, I will go back to my old interest rates, late fees and so on.
I know that this is a huge decision and has a lot of implications. But honestly I am tired of fighting it. I give up. It would take sooo much weight off of my shoulders to have it all gone.
Have any of you filed bankruptcy? What are your thoughts afterwords? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

I didn't file but wish I had. What I didn't know, and you should, is that all the debt that is &quot;forgiven&quot; for you YOU MUST PAY INCOME TAX ON. Do NOT forget to claim that forgiven &quot;income&quot; as taxable. We didn't and three years later the IRS informed us that we owed an additional $20,000 in taxes. Also, you can't file bankruptcy any more unless you make almost no money, otherwise it's chapter 11 and you have to pay back. Talk to an attorney

My mom was in a similar situation due to having to go on disability due to incurable cancer. She had to be disabled for 6 months before receiving the first payment. So she could not make any payments. She tried diligently to make arrangements with her creditors, but they would not work with her at all.
She filed bankruptcy and just kept going. She was able to purchase a vehicle and a house a few years later, so it hasn't hurt her all that much.

It sounds as though you did everything you could and want to pay your debt, but it's just not possible. If I were in that situation, I would file.

I talked to a lawyer yesterday and he said that he thought I would have an 80% chance of being able to file chapter 7.
Also wanted to note, that I played the minimum payment, balance transfer game for at least 2 years before getting on this plan. So I have actually been paying on these debts for about 4 years. Got real serious about it 2 years ago.

wow, you guys are almost bringing tears to my eyes. I don't know for sure that I will be able to file, but the lawyer seemed to think that while it would be close to the income cut off that we could make it work.
I really have tried to do the responsible thing and pay it off. Have I always devoted every penny I had to it? No, but I have always tried to make my payments.
I just have always heard how horrible bankruptcy is and people get nasty saying I should just take responsibility for it.
Thank you for your support. I really do think I am going to pursue it.

I am in the credit biz. Do whatever you can to stop the bleeding! Chpt 7 or 13 which is the repay plan. If you continue to struggle and pay it all off over years of sacrifice unfortunately you will be judged more harshly from a credit standard than if you filed! Your credit score will recover faster with a bkrtcy than have late payments for years!! Two years after discharge of a chpter 7 you can buy a house using FHA financing. You can even buy a house while in a chpter 13 repayment plan. But... be working your butt off to pay people and be a little behind, you are screwed. Not fair but real life. Do what will get you back to manageable and begin the healing, stop the bleeding! Good luck. Credit is just another thing that suffers going through divorce!

Oh you are so right! My credit is horrible at this point because of late payments and new debts that I haven't been able to pay anything on (terminated cell phone contract thanks to hubby's friends not paying their bills). Learned that lesson the hard way-never put anyone other than a spouse on a cell phone plan. At least I could make him go pawn something to give me money, but not his friend. But anyways, your right that you get penalized worse for trying to do the right thing after you've made a mistake. That doesn't exactly match up with what we try to teach our children about being honest and taking responsibility for our mistakes!!
I still need to talk to my parents and get their input, but I really think I am going to pursue it.
It's like the lawyer said yesterday, with a child on the way, my costs are about to go through the roof.

I filed chapter 13 bankrupcy in 2005 and made monthly payments that got the creditors off my back. However we got behind because my husband didnt have steady income. We filed full BK in 2007 and it was the hugest release off our backs. Now with him gone I only have to worry about the House (we got to keep) and a car payment (which is is paying). So basically all I have to pay is the house and the ulities. On the downside I have to pay cash for everything, but its not a bad thing, I dont have any interest to pay. Plus I dont buy anything that I dont NEED.

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