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Weasels of the month

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I once had a boss who was the most odious, loathsome revolting obnoxious knobhead I have ever met. Everything about him was upsetting. He said chardonneeay, he picked his nose and ate the contents, he bullied us to work late and left early, he was insecure, illiterate, an evangelical Christian, a hanger-on, a rumour-monger, married an 18-year old he'd been going out with for three years, grew a goatee. Then he died. The lesson: we all have a finite amount of cuntery in us, don't use it all up at once.

don't know the cunt's name but we call him Alfred Naecock (from the side he looks like...well..) and his mate Griselda. they work in finance and they're both despicable. I've often considered sticking his pen up my arse when I'm in early and then putting it back on his desk.

Working from home and thus being somewhat reliant on a decent interspazz connection, I spend too much time swearing at my internet provider for being a bunch of useless tosswanding cockspanners as their intermittent fault on my line can't be fixed 'cos there is nothing to fix'.

Until I walked out two weeks ago I worked for such a panful of cunt soup, it's a little tricky to decide between the racist ex-army cunt (sample line, "The sugar refinery is closed because you Kurds don't know how to use it? You make poison gas, but not sugar?" Both inaccurate and wonderfully offensive) or the hopeless tit of my manager who melted into shouty foot-stamping when asked a question he was not fond of...but the real labia in the soup are the owners...the chap is particularly lovely, he murdered his first wife on account of her refusing a divorce. It's fair to say that I have no idea how I lasted 18 months with them.

The fucking lazy bitch on my team, who was appointed after being 'highly recommended because she's very experienced'. She doesn't stop talking about all the great things she has achieved and how she has worked so hard to get to where she is and yet shows no talent or ability to get any work done. She gets in late, takes long lunches, and then goes home early. She avoids important meetings because she has to meet a friend. She is thick as shit and can hardly string a sentence together when she's writing a brief or letter. I have to tidy up all her mistakes and then she tries to take credit for the good work. She has been fishing for a permanent position in my department but fortunately I have a couple of friends in high-ish places and have planted enough seeds to ensure she's out n her arse at the end of January. The fucking bitch. I just want to punch her in the face every time she opens her mouth. What was the question again?