Saturday, August 29, 2009

He made a lot of mistakes, including substance abuse, womanizing (there's an old-fashioned word), and the whole Chappaquiddick incident.

Even more remarkable than committing these errors, was his determination to do better, to rise above them. Perhaps it made him more forgiving of shortcomings in others. As he famously said,

"I recognize my own shortcomings -- the faults in the conduct of my private life. I realize that I alone am responsible for them, and I am the one who must confront them. I believe that each of us as individuals must not only struggle to make a better world, but to make ourselves better, too."

At yesterday's memorial service Vice President Joe Biden made some personal remarks about his friend of 36 years. In the early 1970's Joe's wife and daughter were killed in a car accident. Ted Kennedy hardly knew Joe Biden at that time. Nevertheless Ted called Joe to express his condolences. For months, Ted would drop by Joe's office once or twice a week to see how he was doing. Ted pulled him out of his grief, mentored him in the ways of Washington DC politics, and was as good a friend as a man could be. Sadly, we rarely heard about this side of Ted Kennedy.

But my husband Chuck saw this side. When Chuck was Director of Photography at Northeastern University in Boston, he had the opportunity to photograph Ted Kennedy. Mr. Kennedy was charismatic, warm and personable, energetic and passionate and above all, genuine. Even though Chuck was "just the photographer", Mr. Kennedy treated Chuck with dignity, respect and warmth.

Whether we personally met him or not, whether we agree with his politics or not, we are all touched by his efforts to secure equal rights for all people. Although he never became President, perhaps he had an even larger influence as a legislator respected by colleagues on both sides of the aisle.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

We all rush, rush, rush through our lives. It's hard to take a minute to do the essential - eat, sleep, breathe. So it's not surprising that we hardly ever slow down to savor a sweet moment. Well, I'm doing that right now.

We received this note from a very sweet couple whose wedding movie we produced in September, 2005. They had a beautiful baby boy three years ago and had just brought home the newest addition to their family, a beautiful daughter. They took a moment to write a note to us. Here's an excerpt:

Hi Chuck and Jewel,

We recently showed Aidan [their 3-yr old son] our wedding video. He loved it! He shouted "mama and papa" and pointed at the TV. We have such fond memories of our experience with you and the making of the video was so much fun.

We sincerely hope that both of you are doing well! Please keep in touch.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Here are my 17 favorite actors and some of the movies in which I've enjoyed seeing them.

I'll go to see any movie in which Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortenson, Guy Pearce, Sean Penn or Josh Brolin appear because each role is so unique, they inhabit each role so completely, and they play each role with great intelligence.

Then there's a consummate actor like David Straithairn who hardly seems to act at all and in

fact, usually blends right into the background. Denzel Washington also makes it look effortless. Who knew he would be a gifted Shakespearean actor in Much Ado About Nothing?

Who's your favorite?

Simon Baker - L.A. Confidential, Devil Wears Prada

Javier Bardem - Goya's Ghosts, No Country for Old Men, Love in the Time of Cholera

Friday, August 14, 2009

Catherine Hall takes extraordinary photographs. We recently went to see the Robert Franks exhibit of 'The Americans' at San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Catherine Hall's images of Appalachia are even more powerful. Yes, she's that good. Here's where you can see more of her editorial work and here is some of her wedding work.

Catherine and I have had an ongoing dialogue about the unique characteristics of the still and moving image.

A still image, which reflects a single moment, allows you to fill in the blanks and project your past experiences and future hopes onto the picture - when it is done well. As it always is when Catherine Hall is behind the lens.

The moving image which can include voice, ambient sound and music, is excellent for telling a complete story, and for showing motion and emotion. The movie is the narrator that explains what went on, who these people really are and what the times they lived in were like. For example, when your grandchildren see your wedding movie, they will come to know you exactly as you are today - vibrant, young, happy, in love.

They will see the full range of emotions as your husband jokes with the groomsmen and then nervously glances at his watch moments before the doors open and you appear. How he strains to catch the first glimpse of you. How he audibly catches his breath and utters "Wow!", then wipes a tear away as you and your father approach. How he accepts your hand and folds it into his own. How he whispers at the altar, "You are so beautiful".

Each medium provides a unique interpretation of an event or a person. They go hand-in-hand and together can provide the whole picture.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Have you ever wished you had an EASY tool to draw a floor plan of your reception? Well, Wedding Mapper makes your wish come true. This is as easy as it gets. You can specify the size of the room, and click and drag round and oblong tables, a dance floor and other objects onto the floor plan to see how crowded or how luxurious the room feels.

As though that isn't enough, they also have a seating chart tool that allows you to seat guests at tables, move them around, or remove them if they misbehave.

Friday, August 07, 2009

OK so let's say you have rented a castle in England for your wedding and you're looking for a little something extra. Actually, something spectacular which your guests will not soon forget. May I present...a very special light show.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

What are you doing on May 14, 2010? How would you like to get married at the very chic Hotel Vitale in San Francisco? Oh, and how would you like all of your $100,000 expenses to be totally covered? If so, then here's one contest you will want to ENTER:

I know what you are thinking. Too good to be true. But believe me! I know Liz Guthrie of San Jose Wedding Consultants, the organizer of this extravaganza, and she is the real deal. Honest, thorough, fun, creative, down to earth, dedicated.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I am awed by great acting. There are some actors who have wonderful insight into the varied characters they play. The first time you see a great performer, you recognize they are going to be great. Like Meryl Streep in a tiny role in the made for TV movie Holocaust. She was on screen for less than a minute, but we never forgot that performance.

And there are actors who change so completely for each role, you hardly recognize them. Take a look at Joan Allen in Peggy Sue Got Married behind those nerdy glasses vs her role in the Contender.

So here are a dozen of my favorite actresses and some of the roles in which I've enjoyed seeing them.

Jake Gyllenhaal, October Sky - a convincing performance of a boy from a dingy little West Virginia coal town who looks at the sky and imagines a future as a rocket scientist. About as likely as a pig with wings. Or so says your father. But maybe your dream will come true with the guidance of a dedicated teacher and the support of everyone in town.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A: Bird cage veils are making a comeback. Not since the Hollywood glamour days of the 1940s have these veils, and the hair accessories, been so in vogue. Maybe it started when Drew Barrymore wore one on Grey Gardens. Maybe it is the compromise between having a traditional length veil and no veil at all.

Whatever is responsible for the trend, it is undoubtedly stylish and flattering to almost every bride.

Where can you get the components - feathers, combs, tulle? At your local fabric store, a phenomenal store such as Britex on Union Square in San Francisco, or at Unveiled Bridal Designs online.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I confess. I'm semi-hooked on watching the TV show Bridezilla. I'm not sure if it's that I feel like a voyeur watching the brides' vindictive rages that feed on themselves. Or whether it's watching the hapless victims take the abuse when all they have to do is walk away and it would be the bride who would suffer. Or whether it is the extreme self-centeredness and entirely frivolous and trivial issues the brides rant about to create the drama that fascinates me. Eventually I can't stand it anymore and turn it off...until the next time.

But here's what I do know. There's always a reaction for every action. Karmic retribution is real. Members of the wedding party start dropping out at the last minute when they've had enough of being treated like a slave, being humiliated, scolded and scorned. Family rifts are started that fester for decades. People start responding to the brides in-kind with the same level of meanness and disrespect.

But what is the opposite of a bridezilla? It is the thoughtful bride. How can you spot such a bride?

--Throughout the planning process, she solicited and incorporated her groom's preferences and suggestions, both large and small, whether they fit with her vision or not.

--She is genuinely thrilled that someone came to her wedding and doesn't care what present the guest brought, or even if they brought a gift at all.

--She privately and publicly thanks every person - parents, wedding party members, friends and wedding professionals - for contributing to making the day special with their love, their time and their talents.

--She is totally present when speaking to the grandest or the smallest guest. She is not offering a perfunctory "Thanks for coming." without even looking in their direction.

--She savors every moment. She takes time to whisper in her groom's ear how happy he has made her and that she will try to make him happy every day for the rest of their lives.

Of all the weddings we've witnessed, the thoughtful bride is what makes the most memorable wedding. And it doesn't cost a penny.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Would you like to be invited to an elegant evening at which you can learn more about services for your wedding? No hassles, no pressure, just pure enjoyment.

Well, let me invite you to register for Promises and Pearls, a complimentary evening on July 8, from 6 PM to 9 PM at the Payne Mansion in San Francisco. It will be hosted by Michelle at MB Wedding Design and Events, a lovely and dedicated event planner full of great design ideas.

Oh - and make sure you stop by The Flirty Guide booth and say "Hi!" to my good friend Stacie Tamaki. Her roster of event professionals is top notch. We are proud to be on her list.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

OK I admit it. I've become hooked on that British TV show Don't Tell the Bride. The premise is that a groom gets $20,000 to plan the wedding. The catch is that he has to plan the wedding in 30 days and he can't talk with the bride or get her input. And $20,000 doesn't go any further in merry old England than it does in the States.

Why do I love it so? Because I've learned something and confirmed another.

First, almost all of the grooms hire the first venue they come across. Rookie mistake. Sometimes this takes up 50% or more of their budget! Those castles in England don't come cheap. But then the grooms are left with so little money, they can only cater a barbeque on the castle lawn (!), or go cap in hand to beg for additional funds from their parents. I suppose this is what makes for drama and humor. Often a level-headed friend will set it all to rights ("Are you crazy? You can't have a barbeque at a wedding!"). Or some considerate wedding professional will give good advice or a good deal to pull them out of the hole they've dug.

For once, a reality show reflects reality. Couples feel pressured to hire or buy elements of their wedding as quickly as they find them for fear they'll never find anything else that suits them. Don't do it! Do some research to see what prices are realistic IN EVERY CATEGORY in the city where your wedding will take place so you can set priorities and make good choices. Otherwise, will this really be the wedding of your dreams? Spending a little more time on research and setting priorities up front will save a lot of heartache later.

After making that initial mistake, the grooms go on to make an even bigger one. They ALWAYS pick a dress that their brides HATE. After many tears (hers) and gnashing of teeth (his), the groom manages to scrape up enough money to buy a second dress even though he couldn't get any money back for the first dress. He has made his bride happy about the one thing that mattered most to her. Then the bride is able to give the groom the one thing that matters most to him - appreciation for his efforts, no matter how things turned out. The bride maintains a regal bearing and a bemused look as she surveys the rest of the groom's odd decisions.

That brings me to what has been confirmed.

What it really comes down to is understanding what is important to each key participant - bride, groom, parents - before going on the first site visit. Then, it's a balancing act to make sure everyone is happy, while sticking to the budget. The extent to which the bride and groom understand, communicate and respect each other's wishes and feelings, and those of their families, gives a clue about how the rest of their married life will go.

It won't be long now before they come up with the American version. I can't wait.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Do you know the fun Lifetime TV show Get Married hosted by celebrity event designer Colin Cowie? The show is best known for bringing the latest trends and inspirations to brides.

Well, in addition to their hit TV show and their great website, Get Married is launching a new national wedding magazine and the first issue will appear on newsstands in October, 2009. You can reserve your FREE copy now by sending Get Married an email.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Want to predict if you will stay married? Take out your high school yearbook. If you are smiling, you are more likely to have a long marriage. I did not make this up! A research study at DePauw University scored high school yearbook pictures based on a "smile intensity score". They found the top 10% of smilers had a 5% divorce rate, and the bottom 10% smilers (the non-smilers) had a 25% divorce rate. Their explanation? People with positive emotionality may attract happier people or interpret events more positively.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Movies. What are they all about? The best ones are about the human experience. The immediate experience. Relationships. Emotions. Feelings. Comfort. Inspiration. Misery. They shed light on our own experiences.

The best movies create the same feelings in you at the same point in the story every time you see them. So which are some of my favorites?

Field of Dreams - despair, then hope and the magic that can come from a child-like faith, when "Doc" saves the little girl who was choking on a hot dog

E.T. - again, despair then hope, as E.T. lifts Elliott heavenward across the sky just as the Feds are closing in - a magical moment in film history

Schindler's List - transformation from selfishness to selflessness and witnessing that one person can make a difference

Casablanca - sacrifice of personal happiness for the greater good; "Here's lookin' at you kid."

It's a Wonderful Life - a life full of deeds of quiet heroism and generosity add up to "Here's to my big brother George. The richest man in Bedford Falls."

The Color Purple - when Celie and her sister are reunited and Celie sees her children for the first time in 20 years, your heart soars. Even the improbable can come to pass.

Why does it matter? Because there are more great moments at weddings than in even the greatest movie. And, those moments should be preserved - exactly as you experienced them - with a cheeringfamily, live music, and just a tiny tear glistening at the corner of your eye. A great wedding movie delivers the immediate experience.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The premise is that a groom gets $20,000 and has a month to plan a dream wedding for his bride. The catch is that they can have no contact prior to the wedding and the bride can have no input. As with any (un)reality TV show, you have to suspend your disbelief. Who would risk everything going wrong on their wedding day? And, it's been rumored that the producers purposely undermine the wedding day just enough to (gasp!) create tension which can result in a happy ending.

I admit that I've seen parts of two episodes and there are some nuggets we can glean.

Lesson #1: The grooms do much better than you might imagine. Afterwards, they have a much greater appreciation of how much hard work goes into planning a wedding.

Lesson #2: The brides are more forgiving than you might imagine.

Lesson #3: The biggest sticking point seems to be selecting a wedding gown. Brides have definite ideas about what they want, and the grooms are usually clueless.

One groom designed the dress himself, complete with RED boning on the corset bodice and red lacing in the back. It had a slightly goth flavor. His mother counseled him that ivory would be more suitable, and to his credit, he wisely took her suggestion. His bride still hated the dress when she saw it the day before the wedding. So, he scrapped his plan and bought the dress of her dreams. Good man. This marriage might last.

Lesson #4: Weddings are as expensive in England as they are in San Francisco and the $20,000 budget doesn't go very far. If the groom rents the castle (literally) of his dreams, there is very little left to pay for everything else. The invitations are likely to be flyers printed at Kinko's (but sealed with red wax), the decor will be balloons not flowers, the linens will be paper tablecloths not linen, the cake will come from a supermarket and the meal may be a BBQ. But the castle, horse drawn carriage, elaborate lighting and belly dancers will be great. It's always a matter of priorities. And goofy priorities make for lively reality TV entertainment.

Lesson #5: In the end, it's all about how well the groom knows his bride's preferences and taste and how well both the bride and groom understand that starting with the wedding, marriage is all about compromise and pleasing the other person.

Friday, May 22, 2009

This is the season of graduations. We've all heard at least commencement speakers. Some boring, some inspirational. Sure, there was Ellen DeGeneres' Tulane speech last week, and President Obama's Notre Dame speech. But, we selected Steve Jobs' 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University.

Why?

We as a species are story tellers and Steve Jobs spins a wonderful tale. He's not eloquent. He reads from his notes. His presentation isn't stellar. But, his words and thoughts are powerful. This speech changed my opinion of Steve Jobs. That's powerful - changing minds.

At first I thought I'd watch this 15-minute piece for a few minutes, but gradually, I was drawn in and wanted to hear more. And I stayed until the very end.

Among other things, Steve said, "If you live every day as though it is your last, one day you will be right. If what you are about to do today is different than what you would do if this was your last day, then something has to change."

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Brides are seeking creative ways to carry on through these troubled economic times and still have stylish weddings. So, in the spirit of having style on a budget, but still having the real deal, here's a suggestion.

Celebrities who walk the red carpet borrow real jewels to accessorize their fabulous gowns. Although you are not likely to be able to waltz into Chopard, Harry Winston, or Fred Leighton and borrow a bauble, you can rent real jewelry for your wedding.

The necklaces Adorn offers are worth from $1500 to $70,000; bracelets worth from $3000 to $20,000; and earrings are worth from $2000 to $20,000. You can rent these jewels for 3% to 5% of their retail value for a few days, from $90 each.

Just 'cause you're on a budget doesn't mean you can't be princess for a day.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Here's a contest to win a bride's heart. For brides getting married in September 2009 or later, you can play a video game on the Get Married website and if you are the high scorer, you could win an Alfred Angelo wedding gown valued at up to $1800.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Brides are more sophisticated and stylish than ever. They have the desire and, thanks to the internet, they have the ability to research every aspect of their wedding. So what did brides do before the 1990's?

Will You Be My Bridesmaid answers that question, at least in the realm of fashion. This unique blog showcases the fashions of the times in photos of bridesmaids from each decade starting in the 1940's. Many of the brides and their entourage were fashionable for the times. But in a few cases one wonders, what were they thinking?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Who inspires us? Sometimes it is someone you've never met. You feel as if, as with Michelangelo's painting, the Creation of Adam on the Sistine chapel, that man is touching perfection. When you witness someone doing what they love and what they are so good at, you feel a special sort of joy.

With a well-crafted movie, the content, the filming and the editing all help you feel the joy that the performer feels. So here is the Video of the Week of the amazing bicycle acrobatic skills of Danny MacAskill.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

We've seen our fair share of wedding cakes. They've ranged from very simple white fondant icing with a wide ribbon of the groom's family tartan at the base of each layer to Shinmin Li's I Dream of Cake and Sam Godfrey's Perfect Endings fantasy creations.

But honestly we haven't seen much whimsy or tasteful humor. So today...here come the whimsical cakes.

The first two create a fresh contemporary happy feeling. The last three take a turn for, well, for wedding hell.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Why would you do that? Because they would provide wedding attire for the couple and wedding party, the venue, the wedding cake, flowers, music, rings and honeymoon.

Why wouldn't you do that? Because you would have no input on all those items, nor on the wedding date (week of July 15). The TODAY show and viewers will decide for you. You would have to agree to public appearances before the wedding, during and after the honeymoon. And of course, your wedding would be broadcast live to the world.

If you are game, fill out the application, attach a photo of both of you, a 1-minute video and mail it by May 15 to TODAY Throws a Wedding at 30 Rockefeller Center in NYC.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

San Francisco is so beautiful in all kinds of weather. So, when we filmed a wedding at the Legion of Honor a few weeks ago with the amazingly talented Michelle Walker, we were delighted to see the fog waft past the stately columns.

On a wedding day, it's all about filming the action that's going on, so we had to let the fog keep rolling by. But, we wanted to capture some of that beauty so we returned to the Legion of Honor yesterday in the early morning hours to do just that. Here are a few still images. It was so quiet and serene.

Then, to our surprise, it was Free Tuesday. So we wandered the galleries of beautiful Rodin sculptures and were inspired by the special exhibition of Artistic Luxury: Faberge, Tiffany

and Lalique (through May 31). The Faberge eggs are justifiably famous. They are exquisite miniatures creatively designed with fabulous precious stones, gold and platinum, enamels and pearls. Among European royalty it was the tradition to give the gift of a decorated egg to commemorate events such as the birth of a child, a wedding anniversary or an Easter or Christmas holiday.

There was always a surprise inside such as a hand painted 10-panel picture frame of the royal palaces where the Empress spent her childhood.

Or a miniature gold coach to commemorate the coronation of Nicholas and Alexandra. The coach has an imperial crown of rose diamonds on the roof, platinum tires, rock crystal windows and an imperial eagle on either door.