Paint, Poems and Ponderings

Friday, June 28, 2019

The bodies are made with twigs. In the top doll I padded the twigs with cotton balls before dressing her. No padding on the second doll and I think I like it better without.

I dressed the second doll using a flag from a "prayer" flag I made several years ago and hung outside. The flags weathered nicely but the string connecting them disintegrated. I will hang her outside somewhere as a guardian spirit.

The faces are earthenware made by Lyn Belisle and ordered from her Etsy shop Earthshards. At first I thought they might be too big for the dolls. They look like masks. But now I have gotten used to the look.

Joanne Powell Colbert has a free ebook on spirit dolls. www.gainansoul.com. She "invented" the idea. I also read about them on Lyn Belisle's website Lyn Belisle.com however the ebook link seems to be gone now.

This was very fun to do. Twigs and scraps. Free stuff. I love it. My spirit had been downcast. Now it's happy. May the spirit be with you. Love, Suki

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Elders are supposed to be fonts of wisdom, but I have a hard time discerning mine. Yes, I have lots of experiences from my earlier life. But none of them prepared me for my later years. None of them led to what I would call wisdom.

When younger, I imagined I was prepared for my elder years. I practiced yoga and was nimble and thought this would carry over and I suppose it has. I am still nimble. I do feel blessed to be able to walk 2 miles every few days. Although there are yoga classes around I no longer participate. Yoga classes were like my church, before. Now I practice a few days a week alone in my den.

For years, I ate healthy foods. My diet (meaning the foods I eat, not a weight loss program) has gone downhill since moving up North. Some meat has been added. Organic chicken. No fish as the fish you can buy up here does not compare to the fish I bought on Cape Cod for 30 years. It is often a struggle for me to think of meals, write out lists, shop, bring it all home.Then cook it. I throw out a lot of food. I need to gain weight they say. Eating is a problem.

They encourage elders to stay in touch socially. I knew how to find friends and have fun on Cape Cod and so I imagined that part of growing old would be fine. But up here I am lost. This is not my landscape so to speak. The one friend I see twice a year is not a new friend. We met 40 years ago before I even moved to Cape Cod. Very hard to meet people not to mention see them a second or third time. I am not an up-country woman. I say the wrong things. Do the wrong things. I am not overtly political. And I am afraid to go out and try new things the way I used to do.

I had many, many interests and talents I put to use in my earlier years, so I though I'd never just sit in a chair and watch streamings. I'd be engaged, busy with bookbinding, painting, writing, meditation, spiritual studies. Well who knows what all but I was sure I'd be fine in that category when old. Maybe I am depressed or something, but the fire within to do such things has gone out. It flares up once in awhile but then....fades.

All this goes to say that no matter what my younger self thought about being older, those were just thoughts. It's different to actually be here. Yes, I know there are 80 year olds who jump out of airplanes and can twist themselves into difficult yoga positions. But what about the rest of us. Who speaks for us?

Of course, all this is okay. There is no requirement that I be other than I am. It's okay for me to be an old grandma rocking in a rocking chair knitting except that I have no grandchildren and cant knit.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

It's almost summer here at Dragonfly Pond Cottage. Lots has happened since the last time I posted. For one, I have let go of my once strong desire to return to Cape Cod, this time as a home or condo owner. Otherwise I might have gone mad for the trying. Like the ugly sisters trying to squeeze their foot into Cinderella's slipper. Instead, I have settled into Dragonfly Pond Cottage with my son and his dog Maddie.

Not looking for pity here. Just telling it like it is for me at 73. In the warm seasons it is quite lovely out on this back road. But lonely too in the winter. Especially as I choose not to drive much in the winter or anytime really. I knew the best place for me would be in a village where I could walk to shops. Something like Orleans on Cape Cod with a bookstore and cafes and grocery stores all within walking distance of some of the in-town condos.

But as is my way I hesitated. The upside is I can provide a home for my son in this difficult rental market. The down side is I can go days and days seeing no one except my son and Maddie.

Believe me I have thought of just about every option and tried some and oh well, none seemed to manifest for me. So I'll have to renew my campaign to keep myself amused. But right now, its spring, the rhododendron is blossoming, I have a few tomato plants in the garden, I'm painting the kitchen wall and I walk 2.3 miles three days a week.

Hello to all of you I knew before when we all blogged and nice to meet you to all my new readers. Hope to show up here again soon. Love, Suki

A Early Poem

The budding poet

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About Me

I am a Wabi-Sabi person, incomplete, impermanent and imperfect. I have published a novel and a book of non-fiction. I sometimes make paper, paint paintings, bind books,create mixed media pieces. I also write poems.