May 17, 2013

On why Iron Man 3 does not make me happy

The last superhero movie that I had seen was 'The Dark Knight Rises', and I have made it no secret that I have a strong dislike for Nolan because he killed the very essence, the soul of Batman that I grew up thinking about (Here is a blog post on that topic). I entered the movie theater hoping that Iron Man 3 would not disappoint (Iron Man 2 was pretty impressive)- sadly, I was mistaken.

This movie (and the Dark Knight Rises) has managed to please the millions of people who did not know crap about Iron Man, but it sure as hell fails to appeal to the nerds, who have loved Iron Man since their childhood.

Note: Contains spoilers from this point- read at your own risk!
First, Stark loses his house, and his suit malfunctions, taking him hundreds of miles from home. That's okay- he is not only a billionaire playboy, but a genius who graduated from MIT at the age of 15- he's expected to come out of the mess. However, what I fail to understand is why struggle through the whole movie if there is a fleet of Iron Man suits waiting to arrive, each programmed to Stark's DNA? I mean, this kind of a plot is famous in Bollywood, and there's a reason why I don't watch Bollywood movies!

Let us, for a moment, forget that he had a fleet of Iron Man suits at his disposal. Why, on earth, would he attack Mandarin's base (which is supposed to be guarded by some bad-ass security) with just a bunch of toys at his disposal? What's funnier is that the he takes out the whole security with his inferior weaponry- where on Earth did Stark get the training without Jarvis to guide him and no Iron Man suit for protection?

Mandarin is a genius (much like Stark), and has superhuman strength- but only in the comics. In the movie, he is portrayed as a drug addict, who also happens to be an actor! That was the point where I lost my interest in the movie altogether. Why put Sir Ben Kingsley in a role, which is tragic for anyone who has even heard of the Mandarin? Supposedly, the Mandarin is just a scapegoat, who takes the blame for the crimes of some other evil douche. It is just a sorry excuse of a portrayal of the fierce character. At the age of 90, Stan Lee would be very proud of the filmmakers.

Pepper Potts is the weak link again- and well, she should be. She is taken hostage- yet again, and is an additional headache for Stark. However, the weak is supposed to remain the weak. Unfortunately, she is given superhuman powers, and she does something that Stark, with the fleet of Iron Man suits couldn't. What could be worse for a superhero? Agreed that is something acceptable in romantic movies, but it is just a disgrace for Iron Man. I can't wait for the next Avengers movie, because the rest of the team would just end up laughing off at the sorry figure Stark has become.

Finally, the shrapnel. Stark removes it. He removes the very essence of Iron Man- the one thing that differentiates him from other puny humans! Sigh. It just couldn't have been worse.

Let me conclude by reminding you that as a movie, this was pretty impressive with its fair share of twists and turns, but as an Iron Man depiction, it has failed. Or wait, did the director take some inspiration from Twilight?

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