Rob Across America

Ride the Skies

28 May 2008

Cleveland Heights, OH—

We went from 0 to 120 in four seconds today, and there wasn’t a damned thing the Ohio State Police could do about it. The Corolla had a relaxing day in a parking lot while Cedar Point’s world-class roller coasters satisfied our need for speed, height, and ear-splitting shrieks of mirthful terror.

All but one of the park’s most intense (5/5 on the “High Thrill” scale) coasters were conquered. The one that got away was Maverick, which is the newest and therefore most popular. After waiting in a big line for over an hour, we were informed that undefined technical problems would make the ride indefinitely inaccessible. We soldiered on, laying waste to the remaining nine beasts (in order):

Despite the youthful environment, we felt aged by the day. For one thing, we were two of only a small percentage of today’s Cedar Point ticket-holders that had graduated high school. For another, the short, early-season lines allowed us to ride several punishing roller coasters in a relatively short amount of time, which eventually left us aching, hoarse, and dizzy. These are symptoms of victory. Satisfied with our domination of Cedar Point, we hobbled into the car, and headed toward Cleveland.

The famed Eric Meyer and his family took us in and filled us with a superior Turkish dinner. I sang for my supper by reading some bedtime stories to the youngest of the Meyer clan. If her dreams are as good as my day was, you should envy her.