Hillary’s New Plane ‘Cough Drop One’ Boasts Media, No Parachutes

CLEVELAND – Hillary Clinton showed off her new campaign plane today, a Boeing 737 that is decked out with one of her campaign slogans on the sides. The plane is being used so members of the media can travel with her. This allows her to pretend she’s giving the press access to her, while still being able to control their environment.

Mrs. Clinton christened the plane ‘Cough Drop One’ on it’s maiden voyage, when she broke into her second coughing fit of the day. She had only taken 4-5 questions from reporters when the cough returned.

The crew had instructed members of the media that, in the unlikely event of a Hillary coughing attack, cough drops/throat lozenges would drop from the overhead compartment. The plane has the “Stronger Together” slogan on the exterior, as well as the Hillary logo on the wings.

Not quite so visible, on the tail of the plane, there are smaller decals for Ricola, Luden’s, and Halls Menthol Cough Drops – the official sponsors for the Hillary for President 2016 campaign.

While Mrs. Clinton tried to fake how thrilled she was that the media were along for the ride, she’s relegated them to the back of the plane. And several reporters were visibly nervous about asking Hillary any tough questions, since campaign staff had informed all of them there were no parachutes on board – and they were expected to be on their best behavior.

That thing has more decals than a NASCAR racing car! I’m waiting for her to start wearing those jumpsuits with all of the decals on them…all of the “big money donors” with their corporate logos…then at least we can put a helmet on her so we don’t have to look at her!