I already consider this Christmas a win for our family. Our boys were able to visit Santa, and sit on his lap, shedding exactly zero tears. Total success. I could stand back and simply observe as my boys so effortlessly experienced the wonder of the season. Not just with Santa, but in other ways too.

And amid the relief, it hit me. You don’t have to teach a child wonder. It’s hardwired into them. Just watch their faces—when they see the ocean, visit a zoo, take a bubble bath and eat dessert. Wonder is easy. But especially this time of year. December is ripe with opportunity to be caught up and wrapped up in the magic of Christmas.

It’s one of the reasons I love Christmas so much. Because I am learning that as much as I feel like I have to do—with the

advent-ing,present-buying,caroling,cookie-baking,present-hiding,pageant-preparing,serving,present-wrapping,party-attending,money-worrying,sugar high-managing,and general insanity of it all--

the kids don’t really need it.

As parents we feel agonizing pressure thinking if we dropped even just one ball, Christmas might as well be cancelled. But it wasn’t always that way. We were kids once too, and there was a time when wonder came as easily and naturally to us as it does for our kids.

I remember the Christmas I saw “Santa’s” footprint in the fireplace of my childhood home. I remember the eager anticipation each Christmas Eve and the attempt to sleep sabotaged by giddy excitement. I remember the magic conjured up by a living nativity, a cup of hot chocolate, a warm oven and a crackling fireplace.

And then I grew up.

It makes me question if we are going about it all wrong. What if in our efforts to make Christmas special, unique and over the top for our kids, we are missing the point?

Because the truth is I don’t think our kids need to be taught to experience the wonder of this time of year. They get it. They aren’t looking at us to learn wonder. But I think they are looking at us to help them hang onto it.

They’re watching, wondering if one day they’ll wake up having lost the sentiment of the season— like maybe they’ve seen us do.

Our kids may not need another thing to do this season to prime their hearts for the wonder of Christmas. But we do. Our kids need to be able to look to us to see that the magic of Christmas isn’t something that leaks with age. That with every year that passes, it’s possible to not only keep it, but to provoke it until it’s so abundant, it quiets us and leaves us satisfied in awe.

Maybe the conflict in Christmas isn’t whether we can get everything done, but whether we can sustain the magic, the wow-inducing marvel a lowly baby in Bethlehem created. My experience tells me, it isn’t easy to do. My heart tells me, we ought to fight hard to do it.

In her book Help, Thanks, Wow, Anne Lamott writes, “Astonishing material and revelation appear in our lives all the time. Let it be. Unto us, so much is given. We just have to be open for business.”

Unto us, so much is given.

Or as the prophet Isaiah said it first, Unto us, a child is born. A son is given.

Both Ann and Isaiah are right. And this time of year ought to be the time, more than any other, when the miracle of what’s been given catches us by such surprise our kids can’t help but watch and crave it themselves.

Find some time this Christmas to remember, to revel in, to soak in the mystery and majesty that the God who hung the stars, the God who pitched the sky, the God who holds the oceans, the God who counts the sand, entered the world He made, in hopes we might catch a glimpse of the mighty love He has for us.

That is true wonder. Wonder that we can’t afford to outgrow and thank goodness, don’t ever have to.

​About the Author:Sarah Anderson is a writer and communicator who has been involved in ministry since 2003. She is a lead writer and content creator for Orange's XP3 High School curriculum. Sarah lives in Roswell, Georgia, and is a big fan of her husband, Rodney, her two boys, Asher and Pace, and, in her weaker moments, McDonald's French fries.

7 WAYS TO GET TO CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TOTAL MELTDOWNPosted by Carey Nieuwhof

Instagram lies.

Well, at least I’m sure it does at some point over Christmas.

When I see people posting pictures of how wonderful setting up the tree is and how magical the decorating was (okay, okay, I’ve done this…I’m guilty), it reminds me how often that process has not been an Instagrammable moment for me over the years.

I would routinely be WAY overambitious in thinking I could accomplish both the outdoor decorating and putting up the tree in about 35 minutes flat, only to be incredibly frustrated when the process took far longer than the twelve days of Christmas themselves.

You know, the realization that the lights that worked last year when you put them away, mysteriously broke in July and didn’t bother to tell anyone? Or the tree topper that toppled you over the chair you were standing on? That’s what I’m talking about.

It was in those moments that my Christmas spirit would evaporate.

Got moments like that in your family?

We all know that Christmas creates incredible pressure, and your family ends up caving under the weigh of expectation.

How do you fix that?

I’m learning, year by year, what I need to do to make sure the prep for Christmas doesn’t kill Christmas.

Here’s are some holiday tips that can make your holiday more peaceful all around. ​

1 – CREATE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONSIf the secret to happiness is low expectations, then set realistic expectations for the holidays.

Take your expectations and cut them in half. You might find some joy in the process.

2 – SET A REASONABLE PACEWhen I was in school, my last exam would finish on December 23rd. I’d have 24 hours to get everything ready. I’d run into Christmas exhausted.

Now, theoretically, I could start preparing in July. But I still tend to leave it too late.

A sustainable pace creates a sustainable peace. And who doesn’t need that?

3 – EXPECT THE UNEXPECTEDI don’t like surprises, but Christmas is full of them.

If you expect surprise guests, surprise commitments, surprise interruptions and surprise expenses, you won’t be as a surprised. And you’ll be much more gracious.

4 – AGREE ON A BUDGETPeace on earth is one thing. Peace in January is another.

If you agree on a budget for everything and everyone ahead of time, you will significant reduce your stress before Christmas.

5 – SAY NOYou don’t have to go to every Christmas party or send cards to everyone you know.

When you say no to the less important things, you’re saying yes to what matters most.

6 – RESTSomeone once said 70% of discipleship is a good night’s sleep. There’s some truth in that.

If you’re rattled, frazzled and angry, go to bed.

You are at your most kind when you’re at your most rested.

7 – PRIORITIZE TIME WITH GODUnfortunately, one of the great omissions of the Christmas season is peoples’ personal time with God. The very reason we’re doing all of this is to celebrate someone who loves you.

So love Him back. Start your day with God, and you’re far more likely to remember Him in all your moments.

When I following these seven guidelines, Christmas is so much better.But it’s not just better for me, it’s significantly better for everyone else too.

And then you might have something to Instagram about.

About the Author:Carey Nieuwhof is the lead pastor of Connexus Church and author of several books, including Parenting Beyond Your Capacity (with Reggie Joiner) and his latest book, "Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Will Help Your Church Grow." Carey speaks to church leaders around the world about leadership and parenting. He writes one of the most widely read church leadership blogs at www.CareyNieuwhof.com and hosts the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast where he interviews top leaders each week.

Hi. My name is Carey, and I’m greedy. (This is the point where you all say, “Hi Carey.”)Gosh, I hate to say it. I mean no one goes around and says they’re greedy, right? We might think other people are greedy (it’s just so easy to spot the sins of others, even from a distance), but it’s so difficult to see in ourselves.

But read this definition of greedy and tell me if at least a piece of it doesn’t own you—or your kids.Greed is an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

What makes this time of year difficult for greedy people is that we’re going to add to the pile of what we have that we arguably don’t need. There are things I want that I don’t need. And most of us are actually going to receive things that not only do we not need, but we do not want. In the incredibly affluent culture of North America, the problem of greed runs deep.

There’s a fine line we tread as parents in helping our kids celebrate Christmas. I still remember the almost delirious excitement I had as a child in being able to open gifts at Christmas. Let’s face it, what kid doesn’t love to get gifts at Christmas?

So, how do you make sure, as a parent, that you don’t inadvertently fuel greed in your family this Christmas?

I suppose there are a few options:

Don’t give presents.

Hand out coal.

Read from Deuteronomy and pretend its February.

But those are almost certain recipes to kill some of the joy that comes with Christmas.

In my experience, the very best antidote to greed I’ve discovered is generosity. The more I give, the deeper I cut into the greed that lives inside of me.

The more I am willing to take giving to a sacrificial level (to the point where we are not doing things as a family because we are giving income away), the more I am reminded that this life is not about me or about my wants and desire. By far, generous giving is the best antidote to the greed that lives inside of me.

As Christmas approaches, ask yourself this question: what am I doing to stem greed in my family this Christmas? Maybe you could:

Sponsor a family in need.

Serve in a local mission over the holidays.

Talk to your kids about how you as a family have decided to give first, save second, and live on the rest.

Make sure giving is part of your full year—your weekly practice—rather than just a seasonal pursuit.

Work with your kids to incorporate giving as part of their regular rhythm in 2012.

All I know is this: I’m greedy. And the best way I know to tackle that in my life is to give away a noticeable portion of the things that God has given me.

What helps you wrestle down greed in your life and in your family?

About the Author:Carey Nieuwhof is the lead pastor of Connexus Church and author of several books, including Parenting Beyond Your Capacity (with Reggie Joiner) and his latest book, "Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Will Help Your Church Grow." Carey speaks to church leaders around the world about leadership and parenting. He writes one of the most widely read church leadership blogs at www.CareyNieuwhof.com and hosts the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast where he interviews top leaders each week.

What makes it so special? The jingle bells, the wrapped presents, the winter wonderlands, the roasting chestnuts, the squeals of children…?

Or is it that we are celebrating the greatest gift and acts of compassion ever! God sending his son Jesus into this world over two thousand years ago.

It could be that we’ve kind of lost the joy of Christmas in our efforts to make it special or gotten side tracked with all the stress we’ve tacked onto it…and then of course there’s the overspending and overeating.

But what if you were deliberate as a family this year to spend time focusing on the reason for the season to celebrate God’s ultimate gift of compassion by showing compassion to others?

We’ve created an advent calendar that has you covered with 25 days of Compassion. Print it out, pull it up on your Each day until Christmas, there’s a sentence of the Christmas Story to read as a family (seen each day in bold) and an activity your family can do together to show compassion.

Remember to give yourself compassion too, if you’re not able to do every single thing on the calendar, and feel free to replace some of the ideas with your own!

Share your family’s stories with us in the comments below or on social media using the #ParentCueChristmas hashtag!

About the Author:​Karen Wilson is the Chief Editor for the Parent Cue blog and a Lead Editor for Orange Books. Previously, she has worked in Education and International Business. She and her husband Mark have two children, Elijah and Sara.