Trump Counterpunches Mitt Romney

January 4, 2019

Oh, Christ, here comes Mr. Holy Pants, Mitt Romney, a freshman senator arriving in the town I own and craving the job I have, and right away he writes a column for the Washington Post, complaining I lack the character and knowledge to be president. He believes I don’t “demonstrate the essential qualities of honesty and integrity” and am not equal to presidents who “blessed” the country by calling “on the greatness of the American spirit.” He then implies I’m the one who divided the country and made everyone angry.

He also complains I made a “steep descent” when I fired Jim Mattis and John Kelly, generals Romney pretends to respect but I know are over the hill. And he claims I’m not providing leadership for our allies or respecting “our enduring commitment to principled conduct in foreign relations.” But don’t despair. Mitt promises he will support policies he believes “are in the best interest of the country (and) oppose those that are not.”

Really, Mitt’s just grabbing my coattails when he admits I was right to reduce corporate taxes and cut damaging regulations and to get tough on China for unfair trading and to appoint conservative judges. He says these are “mainstream” Republican policies. If so, why am I the one getting it done? Mitt couldn’t because he was a pansy during his 2012 race against President Obama. He should’ve fought. I tried to help him. He virtually dropped to his knees when he begged me to endorse him.

Why doesn’t he just start printing “Romney 2020” signs? He still wanted to be commander in chief during the last primary but was afraid to run because he knew I’d blow him away. Instead of repaying my support for his candidacy, he in 2016 tried to turn the proud working people against me by claiming I was a lousy businessman who inherited his wealth and went bankrupt several times and founded Trump University and Trump Airlines and Trump Vodka. “Dishonesty is (my) hallmark,” he said, and my “bombast” and “bullying” and “greed” and “misogyny” were “alarming our allies and fueling our enemies.”

Mitt could’ve been president if he’d attacked Obama like he’s gone after me. But he didn’t. Unlike me, he lacks the character and temperament to become president. And, don’t forget, I’ve got ten times more money than Mitt Romney.