Wouldn’t it be great if you could generate meaningless new age drivel at the click of a mouse?

Think of how impressed all your higher consciousness, woo friends will be when you speak to them from several different dimensions – simultaneously!!!

Well, now you can! Click any of the images below to visit New-Age Bullshit Generator and you can create all the New Age horse crap your heart chakra desires!!

To infinity… and beyond!

Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)

Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? New-Age Bullshit Generator can help.

We are constantly bombarded with marketing references to your body’s energy field. Is there such a thing?

Years after Skeptoid’s original episode #1 on New Age Energy, talk of energy fields — particular the human body’s energy fields — continues to permeate pop culture. A quick Google search for “human energy field” yields an avalanche of New Agey sciencey-sounding results: biofields, noetic balancing, auras, chakras, cleansing and activating your fields, bioenergetics, science unlocking the secrets, luminosity, sensing, negative energy, positive energy, and the human bioelectromagnetic field. Does the human body indeed have any characteristic that can be reasonably described as an energy field?

Although most of the usage you’ll hear of the term sounds like something from Deepak Chopra which is clearly without any factual meaning, the idea that a living body has some measurable effect on its immediate environment is not necessarily an unsound concept. Our bodies generate heat, we have mass, fluids move within us and millions of electric signals are constantly being transmitted through our nervous system. Might we not actually produce an energy field?

A useful place to begin is with definitions, namely those of “energy” and “field”. Energy is a measurement of something’s ability to perform work. A liter of gasoline has chemical energy stored in molecular bonds that, when broken, produce an exothermic chemical reaction. Put it into the engine, and this reaction will cause the engine to run, converting stored chemical energy into kinetic energy. We can precisely quantify the amount of energy stored in that liter of fuel. A basic unit of energy is called the joule, and a typical gasoline contains about 42 megajoules of energy per kilogram. A typical alkaline AA battery contains about 9,000 joules. The calories of chemical energy that my bloodstream absorbs when I eat a Power Bar charge up my muscles enough to dig some specific, and measurable, amount of dirt in my garden.

That’s all that energy is: a measurement of work capability. But in popular culture, “energy” has somehow become a noun. “Energy” is often spoken of as if it is a thing unto itself, like a region of glowing power, that can be contained and used. Here’s a good test. When you hear the word “energy” used, substitute the phrase “measurable work capability.” Does the usage still make sense? Remember, energy itself is not the thing being measured: energy is the measurement of work performed or of potential.

OK, so that’s energy, a measured, quantified amount of work capability. So let’s wipe the slate clean and look at what a field is.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could generate meaningless new age drivel at the click of a mouse?

Think of how impressed all your higher consciousness, woo friends will be when you speak to them from several different dimensions – simultaneously!!!

Well, now you can! Click any of the images below to visit New-Age Bullshit Generator and you can create all the New Age horse crap your heart chakra desires!!

To infinity… and beyond!

Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)

Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? New-Age Bullshit Generator can help.

Have you every marveled at the “woo-words” (definition HERE) and pseudoscientific language used by new age thinkers and practitioners of alternative therapies?

For example, here is the definiton of “Power-Potential Vibration Levels“:

Power-Potential Vibration Levels (PPV) believes that our general health is fundamentally linked to the state of the brain and the hands. It believes that if something is wrong with the brain, there is a problem with the nervous system. The PPV practitioner views the brain as the backbone of human health: misalignments of the hands causes pressure on the spinal nerve roots, leading to diminished function and illness. Through manipulation or adjustment of the brain, treatment seeks to analyze and correct these misalignments. The therapy can take the energy that is in the brow, metabolize it, and return it to you in a more usable form. On average PPV-therapy can take anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years. Sessions typically take 10 minutes and take place every one to two weeks PPV can be very helpful for skin itching, nerve damage, emphysema and toxicity.