Like this:

When The Sunday Times announced that the UN had designated astrophysicist Mazlan Othman as Earth’s official ambassador to aliens, we at Tripping Magazine thought, “Finally! What were we going to do when they showed up and there was no official greeter? Send them to Walmart?”

Now both the UN and Ms. Othman deny that she works with outer-space visitors in any official capacity, which puts us back to square one. The Economist reports on the trajectory of this story.

Bonus article: Stephen Hawking believes in aliens, and thinks we should hide under the bed. (And who says chimps don’t understand quantam theory? Has anyone asked?)