3 Reasons Why A Victim Mentality Will Ruin Your Chance At Success

“To complain is always non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action, or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”

Eckhart Tolle (Author, The Power Of Now)

“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”

Richard Bach (Author, Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

“I think it’s unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair; that’s the human condition.”

Albert Ellis (American Psychologist)

We all know someone who does this.

They play the victim.

All the time.

These are the people that whine about how the world is against them.

All the time.

They have a list of excuses for why they aren’t getting what they want out of life.

The truth is, you must guard yourself against playing the victim, and you must not allow others to play the victim against you.

In life, everyone is the victim of something, but not everyone chooses to behave with a victim mentality.

Those who do choose to be a victim, end up living angrier, more selfish, and more entitled lives than those who refuse to be a victim.

Why Leaders Reject A Victim Mentality

A Stanford University study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that playing the victim leads to a sense of entitlement and to selfish behavior.

In one experiment, participants who were asked to remember a time when their lives were unfair were more likely to refuse helping someone complete a simple task, than participants who were asked to recall a time when they were bored.

The same paper went on to review a collection of studies showing that all the things that make someone feel wronged — including disrespect, unequal treatment, disproportional income, diagnosis of a disease, and an unhappy childhood — make people feel more entitled to special treatment.

To right the perceived wrongdoings, people with victim mentality take on selfish behaviors in attempt to prevent negative outcomes, as reported in this study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The selfish behavior coincided with an attitude of entitlement in these experiments, that not only increased conflict at the workplace, but also contributed to depressive states and a lack of citizenship, says a study out of the Journal of Organizational Behavior.

But, you won’t go anywhere in your life if you allow this mindset to persist.

It will be the sabotaging reality of your own weakness in this area that holds you back from every goal that matters.

It will be the one thing that keeps you from being a leader in every area of your life.

Realize that everyone has had this experience and the same emotions that you’re feeling. Realize too, that you have the power to choose how to respond to every event in your life. You can harness your emotions and dictate your behaviors. Become the leader in your life by refusing to waste time seeking sympathy and attention. Do the personal growth needed so that you don’t need validation from others, constant reassurance, and hand-holding. You’re not a child. Take control of your life by seeking growth and building resilience to move forward to your goals.

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