Spoof news stories from Monday 10 September 2007

It appears that Jeremy Clarkson is not the only one who abuses the law - and gets away with it! Last week, Clarkson was caught by a GATSO speed camera travelling an estimated 83 mph in a 50 mph zone in a hired Alfa Romeo sports car but escaped prose...

Trade union members were "moderately excited" at Prime Minister Brown's address to the TUC Congress earlier today. The 30 minute speech almost received a standing ovation and delegates nearly said that...

Broadway, New York - (Ass Mess): High School Musical star Zac Efron and Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe are being headhunted on Broadway for a stage adaptation of the 2006 Academy Award winning Brokeback Mountain.

An immigration judge has upheld an appeal by the Devil against a refusal by the Secretary of State to grant him asylum in the UK. The judge, in between smoking cannabis and bonking his cleaner, came...

Daniel Radcliffe, most famous for his title roll in the Harry Potter films, has now completed his stage run on Equus in Great Britain and plans to go with the show to New York. His nude turn on Broadway will give new meaning to the Great White Way.

Britney Spears Embarrassed herself at the MTV Video Music Awards. The performance, however, was par for the course for the pop tart now known more for her wild lifestlyle and outrageous behaviour than her talent, singing, or music videos.
An obvi...

An Arbor, Michigan - Not to belittle Appalachian State's accomplishment last week in upsetting the highly touted Michigan Wolverines, but the Oregon Ducks would like a vote for "Humiliating" the Wolverines. Actually they spanked them si...

Leicestershire - (Ass Mess): The beleagured parents of little Maddie McCann have chosen General Augusto Pinochet's former defence attorney Michael Caplan QC to act for them amid reports that UK police and social workers 'are on their case'...

London - (Ass Mess): Tuesday's 9/11 Grim Reaper eclipsed new moon is a dire omen for the Bush Administration's collusion with the organised crime cartels that have got off scot-free for World Trade Center atrocity of 2001.

Bungling Portuguese detectives made seven RIDICULOUS GAFFES in trying to fit up missing Maddie's parents. We look at each one of these TOTALLY STUPID claims to show what idiots the Portuguese cops are.

Liverpool - (Ass Mess): Archaeologists have discovered the remains of an ancient Viking longship which sank under a Merseyside pub car park in 1942 after drunken Norse warrior sailors suffered a fatal form of early SAT-NAV failure.

LONDON: When Moira Cameron was named as the first female Beefeater at the Tower of London in its 522-year history, it was hailed as a milestone for women's rights. But in reality it was just a practical joke at Cameron's expense. Reporting fo...

LOS ANGELES, United States (UFO) - The search for missing adventurer Steve Fossett appears to be over. Nearly one week after the millionaire aviator's plane vanished, he phoned friends via satellite phone to inform them of his latest adventure.

Brooklyn, New York (IP) - an American language anthropologist has just broken the meaning of the Brookylnese acronym Bin Ladin. The people from Brooklyn have their own dialect and scientists are sent there on a regular basis to decipher the meaning...

Shoomlakalaka, Pakistan (IP) - Reports trickling out of the back country in Pakistan indicate that Bin Ladin has been feeling the blues lately. One of the recent dilemmas he recently faced involved finding a suitable name for his latest video.

In a development so unforeseen that nobody, uh, foresaw it, HM the Queen and HRH Prince Phillip today made their divorce official at the Westminster Register Office. Veteran Royal-watchers, long listed in the Guinness Book as "most useless human...

Over the recent years, Democrats have really bolstered the success of the United States, and we need to make sure they remain in power. Social Security is not only going to the fiery pits of hell, but at the rate we're going, social security will probably be designed to take money away from the retired. The government only has to come up with 200 billions dollars before this fiscal year ends t...