What Kind of Obie Are You? An Oberlin Personality Survey

Compiled by Anil Murjani and Heather Van Aelst

Note:This is the original summer of 1997 version of this survey. I think there were some minor changes made later on. For now, at least, I plan on keeping this original version as a pretty plain page (i.e. so that to take it you actually need paper and pencil). If I get the time and energy, I might edit/update it and try to set it up so that you can actually take the survey right on the page.

It is held that all Obies are unique individuals. We are here to prove this wrong. In truth, all Obies can be broken down into a composite of one or more of the following categories: Slacker Obies, Academic Obies, PC Obies, Misanthropic Obies, Hedonist Obies, and Artsy Obies.

This includes you.

Take the following test to find out where you fall:

Why did you come to Oberlin?

I believed them when they said one person could change the world.

I was attracted to the idea of the cooperative life style.

It has one of the top academic programs for small liberal arts schools.

They tried to scare me off- they failed.

They let me in.

I wanted to experience college with every fiber of my being.

If Oberlin disappeared in a puff of logic what school would you turn to?

Reed

Penn State

Harvard

Cornell

Wherever my parents told me to go

New York University

If you could be a piece of furniture what would you be?

lawn chair

bed

desk

bar stool

hammock

armoire

You have an assignment that is due in two weeks at 4:30pm on a Friday. When do you hand it in?

An orgy with one person from every race, religion, creed, and sexual orientation

Whatever you’ve got

Sex?
Baaaaaa

As long as I don’t have to move…

If it involves strawberry flavored body paint, I’m in

Safer Sex Night- what do you wear?

Fig leaves

Toga

What’s Safer Sex Night?

Someone else’s skin

I don’t bother to get dressed

Strawberry flavored body paint

Who’s the best fuck on campus?

they’re all equally good

I’ll let you know when I’m done—I’m almost there

Sex?
I am

As long as I don’t have to move…

It’s not a contest—I do it for the experience

You sleep through your final. Your excuse to the professor is:

I was protesting the fact that the test was printed on non acid-free paper

Well, my girl/boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed…

I don’t sleep through tests

I slept through my test

You should be used to it by now…

Sleep was the answer

What is your ideal winter term?

an unpaid internship at Greenpeace

an unpaid internship at Sam Adams

an unpaid internship at the UN

an unpaid internship at the NRA

an unpaid internship at home

an unpaid internship at the NEA

Who’s your favorite film director?

Tim Robbins

Woody Allen

Orson Welles

Quentin Tarantino

Sam Raimi

Ingmar Bergman

What do you wear to Drag Ball?

Hemp

Nothing

Drag Ball?

Black leather

That’s all the way in Wilder, man…

Make-up and bedsprings

The best place on campus to have sex is:

Harkness

where am I now?

Sex?

the front lawn of Cox

my floor

on stage

You’re a trustee. The first thing you do is…

Establish a committee to establish a council to investigate multicultural recruiting in high schools

Make Safer Sex Night a weekly event

Expand Mudd

Urinate off the top of Wilder

How’d I get to be a trustee?

Murals. Lots of murals.

The number of Obies it takes to screw in a light bulb is:

We’re all equally capable of screwing in the light bulb.

It’s not the light bulb you should be screwing.

None. I’ll read by the light of my computer screen.

42

I don’t have the energy. I’ll sit in the dark.

The dark is more conducive to the atmosphere.

Boxers or briefs?

Both. I don’t discriminate.

briefs

boxers

What kind of question is that? Fuck you.

Whatever’s closest to the bed

I don’t wear underwear.

What’s your sign?

Peace

Neon

pi

Beware of Attack Frog

Stop

Libra

What’s your favorite comic strip?

Family Circle

Garfield

Doonesbury

Far Side

Dilbert

Calvin and Hobbes

When do you go to bed?

I will not sleep until social inequality had ended.

heh heh heh

10pm

2am or whenever they kick me out of the Feve

Sunrise

2:34:56

What’s your favorite number?

3

69

100

666

23

13

What do you do when you walk through the middle of Tappan square?

I play with the squirrels

I step on the plaque. It’s a fun curse to remove.

I avoid the plaque. I refuse to take the chance.

I step on the plaque. Who cares?

I haven’t been in the middle of Tappan Square since my freshman year.

I strip naked and romp through the grass.

Which came first: the Chicken or the Egg?

The chicken and the egg are equally special.

chicken

egg

Neither, I came first.

Who cares?

The egg was the chicken’s idea for more chickens.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what question would you want me to ask you?

How can I help you?

If you could have one person with you, who would it be?

If you could have three books with you, what would they be?

Just leave me to die in peace.

You wanna go to Campus?

If you were stranded on a desert island, what question would you want me to ask you?

You’re a bartender. Who would you want to walk into your bar?

a priest, a rabbi, and a minister

William Shatner

a cloned sheep

a llama dressed as Dolly Parton

a grasshopper named Steve

the cast of Show Boat

You’re stuck in an elevator with a supermodel of your choice. Who’s the lucky person?

Twiggy

Only one?

Supermodel?

Grrr…

doesn’t matter, I’ll take what I can get

As long as s/he’s naked, I don’t care.

You have a high powered rifle and a time machine. Who do you take out?

Hitler

Nancy Dye

Stalin

heh heh heh

my parents

Jesse Helms

You convince Oberlin to give you $1000 for an art project. What do you drape off of Mudd?

a picture of the world

myself

my G.P.A., in big bold print

the administration

$1000? Cool…

That’s been done before. Why bother?
50.

What do you think of this test?

It was rude, offensive, and not politically correct.

I need a drink.

Is there a curve?

Bite me.

I stopped reading it 40 questions ago.

It would have been a waste of paper except for my doodling.

Done?

Now add up the number of a’s, b’s, etc. Double each value. They’ll tell you what percentage you are of each Obie type. Read on to match the letters to types and find out just what kind of Obie you are.