Archer

At the beginning of the first season of "Archer" we started counting all the sexual innuendos and off-color jokes. Not being able to count without our fingers we stopped the attempt about 30 seconds into the first episode. We spent the entire time between seasons learning to count on our toes as well, so we'll be renewing our mathematical feats for season two and hope to make it to the first commercial break. This is one of those animated shows that isn't meant for the kiddies. But, everyone has to make their own choices, we'd never tell you how to raise your kids.

Past Events

As we previously informed you, "Archer" won't be back for one more season. No, it will be back for, at minimum, two more seasons. Two more seasons, minimum. That makes you happy, doesn't it? It makes us happy. It probably makes Cyril happy. It probably makes Malory happy. It certainly makes Sterling happy. We fully expect there to be good times, great stories, and a whole lot of foul language and vaguely off-color jokes. Now are you happy? Tonight, though the fifth season ends and, we hope, does so in spectacular fashion.

We assume by now, what with us being a good long way into the fifth season, that you've found "Archer" in its Monday night time slot. On tonight's episode, we're told that Archer, Ray, and Cyril need to travel by raft down a crocodile-filled river. That is slightly more terrifying, but only slightly, than Lana and Pam planning a spa day for Mallory. Yeah, that sounds simple, but we think we all know that it just won't be.

FX did not move "Archer" to FXX for this, the animated series' fifth season, but they have moved the show's regularly scheduled night. We used to get "Archer" on Thursday nights, every season of the show has aired on Thursday nights (generally at 10pm, but sometimes at 10:30pm). Tonight, though, that all changes. We don't imagine that the style of storytelling nor the sense of humor the series offers will be altered, but the night will be different. So, one last time, let us remind you that season five of "Archer" begins tonight (even though it's Monday).

In the hopes of infiltrating a black-market sales deal, Archer and Lana are tasked with posing as newlyweds in order to keep uranium out of the hands of dangerous individuals but the mission is jeopardized following Lana's actions.

In the hopes of infiltrating a black-market sales deal, Archer and Lana are tasked with posing as newlyweds in order to keep uranium out of the hands of dangerous individuals but the mission is jeopardized following Lana's actions.

Last week we got an "Archer" episode entitled 'Sea Tunt: Part I.' This week we'll get the second half of that double episode, 'Sea Tunt: Part II.' In fact, tonight's episode will end the fourth season of the series as well. That makes it something of a twofer, and not twofer in the way that Sterling Archer would probably use the term -- we imagine his definition is rather more... colorful. In the end, while we may not use terminology in the same way, we do appreciate everything that Archer and "Archer" have to offer. Tune in tonight because while there will be more episodes in the future, that future is a ways off.

ISIS is informed of a notorious being on the Mexican border, so Archer is sent to capture the elusive entity causing chaos in the region but various barriers could potentially cause havoc for the ISIS team attempting to execute their orders.

"Archer" sometimes makes us sad. It makes us sad in ways we're not quite sure how to deal with. Are we sad because Sterling is such a moron and yet gets all the hot (animated) girls? Yes, that's part of it. Are we sad because we wish the relationship we have with our mother was half as good as the one Archer has with his? Indeed we are, but that's not the meat of the problem. No, the big issue is that we start laughing early in the episode and then all of the sudden, bang, it's over -- the episode is over. Tonight is episode eight in the 13 week season, so the end is not that far off. Tune in and laugh, but not too much because then you'll miss the episode.

Archer and his new stepfather are chased by a group of gangsters, and the two men are forced to bond as they attempt to escape death at the hands of vicious criminals, but they find that they happen to have a unique hatred for one another.

Archer and his new stepfather are chased by a group of gangsters, and the two men are forced to bond as they attempt to escape death at the hands of vicious criminals, but they find that they happen to have a unique hatred for one another.

Archer and his new stepfather are chased by a group of gangsters, and the two men are forced to bond as they attempt to escape death at the hands of vicious criminals, but they find that they happen to have a unique hatred for one another.

Sometimes, as you well know, things are so wrong that they're right. The FX series "Archer" is, in fact, one of these things. It is loaded with dirty jokes and sexual innuendo and incredible foolishness and so much more. It combines these elments into a melange of wrongness tinged with a bunch of 'oh my goodness, they didn't just.' Watch it, you'll love it. Well, we think you'll love it, and if you don't, what have you really lost? A few moments of your day? 30 minutes of your time? The ability to taste chocolate?

In an unbelievable series of events, Archer discovers that his mother has somehow managed to form an intimate relationship with Burt Reynolds, who just so happens to be his lifelong hero and the man-crush he's openly declared numerous times.

The top agent for the ISIS is given an unexpected gift in order to celebrate his birthday, but when Archer makes use of the thoughtful present, a series of events leaves the agency frantically trying to get things back under control.

An infamous Canadian terrorist needs to be transported, so the Royal Canadian Mounted Police decide to get the help of the talented ISIS agency in order to heighten the security on the train carrying the idealistic criminal to his destination.

In an unbelievable series of events, Archer discovers that his mother has somehow managed to form an intimate relationship with Burt Reynolds, who just so happens to be his lifelong hero and the man-crush he's openly declared numerous times.

We don't exactly feel cheated that tonight's season is ending, but we are terribly, horribly, unapologetically sad about it. We wish, oh so very much, that the show would continue to air new episodes from now until it stopped being funny, and do so without a break. Of course, that's not the way the television world works. Making the funny takes time. Plus, Archer presumably has to go undercover on a new case that is going to preclude his being filmed. We will suck all marrow out of this season final that is made available to us though. We will watch it until our TiVo is worn through. Or, at the very least, thrice.

As you well know, a few months back we got that mini-season "Heart of Archness" thing for "Archer," and as awesome as that was, it kind of made us sad that we weren't getting more episodes at that moment. Well, we are now -- the full third season of "Archer" is here which means that all the crass innuendo and cartoon characters saying dirty things we could ever want--all mixed in with gunplay and spy stuff--is here. You're excited. We can tell that you're excited. Consider what Archer would say to that (it may just excite you more). And, Burt Reynolds will be appearing in an episode season.

Okay, we can't tell you exactly why we're only getting three episodes of "Archer" right now (more will come later), but we're only getting three episodes in this mini-run, and this is the third of those three. Listen, don't look too deeply at the reasons it's a mini-run, "Archer" is a funny (if slightly raunchy) show, and whether we've gotten one new episode or 100, we should be happy for what we've been given. Ask not why we didn't get 100, ask how they make them so funny. And then, watch them being funny and laugh. Trust us, if you watch, you will laugh.

We have to tell you, as much as we like this show we keep hoping that it is in fact about Jonathan Archer and not Sterling Archer. We understand that the vast majority of people out there don't know who Jonathan Archer is and would much prefer to see the foul-mouthed, ridiculously lewd spy Sterling Archer than some unknown guy who happened to be the captain of some ridiculous starship named 'Enterprise.' At least, we figure folks prefer Sterling to Jonathan because they didn't know that about that ship or that Jonathan i's really Sam Beckett. Too meta? "Archer" is back tonight and, we hope, in rare form.

It has been a wild, wacky, and -- we'll say it -- wonderful season on "Archer." The show is, let's face it, distinctly odd and at times unnerving, but just completely funny too. A lot of that, we tend to think, has to do not just with the scripts and animation (which we're in no way knocking) but the delivery of the lines by the actors. Actually, we'll backtrack, it's the whole thing that we like -- scripts, animation, and delivery. It's a team effort, kind of like being a spy, you don't get anywhere by yourself, even if your name is Archer.

If there's one thing we can say about FX's "Archer" it's that the show is animated. If there are two things we can say about FX's "Archer" it's that the show is animated and a spy spoof. If there are three things... oh, you get the point - the FX show is going to be wrapping up season one tonight. You can expect more thinly veiled sexual innuendo, thinly veiled clothing on Lana Kane, and the sort of insanity the show has consistently exhibited during the season. Maybe things will even blow up, we like it when things blow up.