The desire for specialness is often unconscious

Being a great leader is paradoxical. Leaders have to be pretty special people to be great, although in order to be great they fundamentally understand that everyone is the same. We are either all special or all ordinary.In group work, I invariably ask people to give me an example of a great leader. This isn’t always easy. Quite often people quote some of the greats in history, like Lincoln, Churchill, or perhaps Ghandi, Mandela or even Luther King Jr. Sometimes they will tell about one of their parents or even a great friend. Not many are able to easily bring examples of great leaders at work.

I expect there are many reasons why there is a dearth of great leaders at work, but one common thread I believe helps leaders fall short of being great in the workplace is that of falling into the temptation of specialness.

Whenever I ask people what they like to see in their leaders, many will talk about values or behaviours. They want leaders to be open, transparent, and fair; or they want them to be decisive, innovative and successful. Easy you would think? But actually leaders don’t have to be monumentally poor to find themselves out of favour with their people. They just have to, on occasion; succumb to the temptation of specialness.

Specialness can come in many forms, and it’s always a way of saying; one person matters more than another; or one person deserves more than another. Well you might be thinking, isn’t that the case? Well if you are, then you are experiencing a dose of specialness.

Specialness is the mistaken belief that we are different, and there are hierarchies of importance in the world. In reality though, it is not true. We are all simply manifesting different experiences and believing and acting in different ways, with different outcomes.

But what about the lazy worker who comes in and doesn’t do anything, compared to the worker who works 24/7 and gets great results? You might ask. Well one may be acting in ways which are in the best interests of the organisation, and one might not be. But that doesn’t make one person more special than another. Not at their core and not as a person.

There may be a million reasons that person doesn’t pull their weight as much as the other. There may also be a million reasons why the worker who works 24/7 is doing so. The trick is of course not to treat people differently, but to respond to their behaviours differently. There is a subtle difference.

To illustrate here are 5 common ways leaders give in to the insidious habit of specialism, and in so doing they diminish the “greatness” they can be.

Favouritism

We all like people who are like ourselves, especially when we can clearly see our best attributes in others. There are also people we don’t like so much or who make us uncomfortable. More often than not, we are most uncomfortable when we can see things in other people which we do not like about ourselves. In both cases we are making judgements about other people and indeed ourselves. At work, we need to be aware of our prejudices no matter how mild they may seem. Leaders often fall into favouritism when they form attitudes about people based on how much they like them. They stop being kind, factual, open and transparent and their views can be biased and weighted towards people they like better.

Special favours

A friend of mine was talking about the CEO who had been in the job for a few months. I had listened to her commentary about him before. It had always been complimentary and enthusiastic. However on this occasion, her tone was one of disappointment. Their company was involved in delivering specific services, the levels of which depended on certain criteria. It had become widely known that the CEO had decided to open up a level of service to someone who didn’t qualify, simply because they were viewed as an important person with clout. In one small but incredibly public decision his reputation had become tainted.

Hidden Bonuses

Great leaders will always have a good solid recognition strategy in place. Some actions might be monetary and some may be non-financial rewards. What I have encountered many times are monetary based bonus systems which have no particular criteria and are conferred in secret.

A friend of mine told me gleefully about a hefty bonus she had received for navigating a particularly difficult downsizing strategy. She had however been told to keep it quiet. I asked her why, and she said that if it was known that she had been rewarded for making people redundant, employees would not be happy. Although there seemed to be some logic in this, to me it said a lot about the integrity of the leader, and also demonstrated a lack of understanding about how to manage an effective reward strategy.

Creating a Valued Role Hierarchy

I worked with a lady who used to work in a major high street store. She had happily worked there for many years. For her and some of her colleagues, the end came quite quickly as many of the team looked for and secured new jobs with different companies in response to a change in strategy by the company.

On the face of it, the change looked fairly sensible in that they decided to give bonuses to their sales people. Under the surface it was one of the most divisive and disruptive moves they had made. What happened was they created a hierarchy of importance, with a disproportionate reward to certain people. The sales support people were not adequately rewarded for their part in the process; and distrust and discontent set in. This dynamic can also be seen where “professional” and “support” employees are given a different status in an organisation.

Excluding people.

Again and again I have seen people be excluded by senior leaders because they are particularly challenging, or simply have different views or beliefs. It can be unnecessarily difficult if you have such a person on your team, but if they are good at their job and are performing well, then their views should be welcomed with open arms. The act of exclusion is more of a statement about the fear of the excluder. Exclusion can be about only inviting certain opinions; not inviting people to meetings; not giving credit for a job well done; blocking promotion; creating succession plans which exclude people with unnecessary criteria.

To counteract such temptations, leaders must develop their own self-awareness and listen to and invite feedback from others. The temptation of specialness challenges all of us, not just leaders, and can sometimes be difficult to recognise or pinpoint. The following values or behaviours can minimise the temptation and keep any great leader on the right track.

I am not certain I fully and heartily agree.
I have been mostly impressed by the leaders that I have been able to associate with who are good mentors, and who support a good mentorship program.
Sometimes that is not always seen as fair. Sometimes people have felt picked or, ‘special’ I suppose but, in the end I think that in an organization that has a long term approach to its vision and mission, and will take the time to be honest, open, transparent and seek feedback from employees then, obviously selections are made.
There is a personal interest in development of true leaders in the workplace for tomorrow, and those selections of ‘special’ persons is necessary.
I do not intend here to imply that all leadership actions in all organizations if fair or, always in the best interests especially based upon employee perspectives.

Thanks so much for your perspective. The optimum words you mention are honest, open and transparent. If people are selected in that way then those leadership qualities will shine through, however people wish to perceive it. I have seen some leaders while their intentions are good, they aren’t even handed in their actions, and therefore aren’t open honest and transparent in the way the deal with top performers, or talent growth, or how they differentiate. The key word to avoid is “special” Just because someone has qualities to be able to join a mentoring programme, doesn’t make them “special”, just on a different path than others perhaps? Thanks again for contributing. Very much appreciated.