Introducing: Relevant Rick’s Eye-segesis Brand Sunglasses (Satire)

15Jun

Announcing Rick Warren’s own line of premium sunglasses. Eye-segesis brand sunglasses will cut through the glare you automatically drift into every time one of those Bible thumping preachers starts finding Jesus in every passage. Because everyone knows, the Bible is all about you! Don’t be taken as irrelevant by wearing those traditional shades… every Seekermergent needs a pair of Rick Warren’s Eye-segesis brand sunglasses. When you wear these babies, the Bible appears to say whatever is comfortable to YOU. Get yours today from any Seekermergent multi-campus megachurch lobby, new age bookstore, or Zondervan coffee house. Order by phone by calling 800-PIPER-SAYS-I’M-OK. Don’t get caught in your Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and flip flops next Sunday on the platform of your multi-campus megachurch preaching about uniting all faiths under one homogeneous umbrella without a pair of Relevant Rick’s own Eye-segesis brand sunglasses. UBU!