I have no sympathy for people who get bullied on the internet. Stop logging on if you don't like it. As for school, I feel like bullying probably does more good for many than harm for some. Sure, a few off balance kids fly off the handle and we blame bullying. But IMO those kids aren't unhinged because they are bullied. They are bullied because they are unhinged.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

(29-12-2012 01:55 PM)germanyt Wrote: I have no sympathy for people who get bullied on the internet. Stop logging on if you don't like it. As for school, I feel like bullying probably does more good for many than harm for some. Sure, a few off balance kids fly off the handle and we blame bullying. But IMO those kids aren't unhinged because they are bullied. They are bullied because they are unhinged.

They aren't bullied because they are unhinged. They are bullied because they are different.

I have never even heard of any study concluding positive outcomes from bullying.

Everything you said is completely opposite of what we have discovered about bullying.

(29-12-2012 01:55 PM)germanyt Wrote: I have no sympathy for people who get bullied on the internet. Stop logging on if you don't like it. As for school, I feel like bullying probably does more good for many than harm for some. Sure, a few off balance kids fly off the handle and we blame bullying. But IMO those kids aren't unhinged because they are bullied. They are bullied because they are unhinged.

They aren't bullied because they are unhinged. They are bullied because they are different.

I have never even heard of any study concluding positive outcomes from bullying.

Everything you said is completely opposite of what we have discovered about bullying.

Get some class, man. Bushmaster are cheap cheap cheap. Get a Colt if you can. Or if you're on a budget, an SKS. You'll have to stop to reload more often, but you'll look like a badass with all those stripper clips strapped to your jacket. Also, bayonet; not practical, but scary as hell.

I am an awful person.

Naah! Just strap a couple dozen hand grenades to your jacket. They are much more effective in malls and classrooms than a stupid assault gun.

I’m inclined to believe that the entire bully
complex/bullying situation arises from the developmental process. Kids,
teenagers, hell young adults, are often not fully emotionally developed (in
terms of prefrontal cortex formation and maturation of cortical regions) and
consequently act accordingly (http://www.dana.org/news/brainhealth/det...id=10056).
Expecting spontaneous emotional sensitivity, reflective thought and empathetic
behavior from a group of people with brains that are not fully formed doesn’t usually
seem to pan out well.

I don’t believe bullying is ok but I do think that there is
a biological/developmental basis for much of the behavior. Especially in young
males testosterone (http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Ado...ne.0033850)
appears to delay brain development. Males ‘catch up’ of course but this may
also relate to the idea that the typical (by this I mean on average and in a
situation where individuals display no psychiatric pathology) females tend to
be more emotionally receptive/expressive than males. Too it may relate to the
higher incidence of mental illness/mood disorders in females. Regardless bullying
behavior is ‘normal’ in the sense that it is reflective of the developmental
process. That does not mean society necessarily needs to accept the behavior-
I’m of the mind that some type of emotional sensitivity training/awareness
course would be a good addition to many/most school curriculums. That would
help a great deal on the emotional front I think. Physically I think that if
the pent up energy driving the bullying behavior was channeled into alternative
outlets many of the bullies/bullied would benefit. Sports are of course great
for physical aggression. Why not debate teams as well or other forms of intellectual
competitive?

I
agree that often those who are bullied are the more ‘eccentric/odd kids’. I’ve
always been odd/different but thankfully realized this fairly early on and
learned to modify my behavior/assume the air of normality when I needed to meet
society’s expectations. I think understanding how others perceive you and how
that perception will drive their actions is an incredibly valuable skill. I
don’t feel like I became a ‘counterfeit’ or ‘fake’ but rather that I learned to
play the social role/roles that best served my interests. I do think that the
impulse to be ‘politically correct’/ shield social deviants from any/all
criticism can lead to a culture where even minor offenses prompt outrage/indignation.
The world is not ‘fair’. It’s part of the competitive nature of survival. Some shielding-
until the child can come to understand that their sense of self worth need not
be dependent on the opinion’s of others/ society’s judgment of their worth- is appropriate
but at the same time the child should be made to understand that in the future
they may have to ‘play society’s game’ to get what they want/need. Kids shouldn’t
have to face homophobia, racism, gender discrimination, transphobia, religious prejudice,
mental health stigma (this coming from a bisexual, female atheist) etc. but
they should understand that reality can be harsh and that what ‘should be’ is not
often what ‘is’.

I don’t think it’s just a matter of
telling the ‘soft kids’ to ‘toughen up’ or preventing any form of
behavioral/verbal intimidation. I think it’s about social skills and teaching
the would-be bullies that if they intend to use force (physical or verbal) they
essentially open the door for retaliation and really that the bullying behavior
does not suit their best interests. I think it ‘s about teaching the would-be bullied that their
behavior/expression of a identity will most likely have consequences (positive
and negative) and that the best way to remain safe is to ‘play the game’,
grapple with the social reality of the world, and moderate their behavior while
still acknowledging their right to be themselves. Maybe it’s not possible to do
this but I do think teaching kids that their behavior/actions have consequences
could help.

(06-01-2013 09:58 AM)Rustler Wrote: I’m inclined to believe that the entire bully
complex/bullying situation arises from the developmental process. Kids,
teenagers, hell young adults, are often not fully emotionally developed (in
terms of prefrontal cortex formation and maturation of cortical regions) and
consequently act accordingly (http://www.dana.org/news/brainhealth/det...id=10056).
Expecting spontaneous emotional sensitivity, reflective thought and empathetic
behavior from a group of people with brains that are not fully formed doesn’t usually
seem to pan out well.

I don’t believe bullying is ok but I do think that there is
a biological/developmental basis for much of the behavior. Especially in young
males testosterone (http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Ado...ne.0033850)
appears to delay brain development. Males ‘catch up’ of course but this may
also relate to the idea that the typical (by this I mean on average and in a
situation where individuals display no psychiatric pathology) females tend to
be more emotionally receptive/expressive than males. Too it may relate to the
higher incidence of mental illness/mood disorders in females. Regardless bullying
behavior is ‘normal’ in the sense that it is reflective of the developmental
process. That does not mean society necessarily needs to accept the behavior-
I’m of the mind that some type of emotional sensitivity training/awareness
course would be a good addition to many/most school curriculums. That would
help a great deal on the emotional front I think. Physically I think that if
the pent up energy driving the bullying behavior was channeled into alternative
outlets many of the bullies/bullied would benefit. Sports are of course great
for physical aggression. Why not debate teams as well or other forms of intellectual
competitive?

I
agree that often those who are bullied are the more ‘eccentric/odd kids’. I’ve
always been odd/different but thankfully realized this fairly early on and
learned to modify my behavior/assume the air of normality when I needed to meet
society’s expectations. I think understanding how others perceive you and how
that perception will drive their actions is an incredibly valuable skill. I
don’t feel like I became a ‘counterfeit’ or ‘fake’ but rather that I learned to
play the social role/roles that best served my interests. I do think that the
impulse to be ‘politically correct’/ shield social deviants from any/all
criticism can lead to a culture where even minor offenses prompt outrage/indignation.
The world is not ‘fair’. It’s part of the competitive nature of survival. Some shielding-
until the child can come to understand that their sense of self worth need not
be dependent on the opinion’s of others/ society’s judgment of their worth- is appropriate
but at the same time the child should be made to understand that in the future
they may have to ‘play society’s game’ to get what they want/need. Kids shouldn’t
have to face homophobia, racism, gender discrimination, transphobia, religious prejudice,
mental health stigma (this coming from a bisexual, female atheist) etc. but
they should understand that reality can be harsh and that what ‘should be’ is not
often what ‘is’.

I don’t think it’s just a matter of
telling the ‘soft kids’ to ‘toughen up’ or preventing any form of
behavioral/verbal intimidation. I think it’s about social skills and teaching
the would-be bullies that if they intend to use force (physical or verbal) they
essentially open the door for retaliation and really that the bullying behavior
does not suit their best interests. I think it ‘s about teaching the would-be bullied that their
behavior/expression of a identity will most likely have consequences (positive
and negative) and that the best way to remain safe is to ‘play the game’,
grapple with the social reality of the world, and moderate their behavior while
still acknowledging their right to be themselves. Maybe it’s not possible to do
this but I do think teaching kids that their behavior/actions have consequences
could help.

PC rhetoric, if there ever was such a thing.

Life is tough, and humans can be cruel. these are patent facts of the human condition.

The best way to combat bullying is to empower your own children to stand up against bullies. Whether they are the ones receiving ill treatment or a fellow classmate. self-reliance and confidence and empathy are the traits we need to instill in our kids so bullying will become a non-issue.

It is just how society works, people must get over it, the best thing to do if you are being bullied is keep quiet, don't tell anyone about it and deal with it....it's one of the harsh truths of life, some of us have personalities where we ask to be bullied, it's in our genetics, people must have the freedom to bully others of they wish, it doesn't make them bad people