BDSM Relationships: Making it Last

When a BDSM relationship starts, there’s nothing like the intensity you share with a partner. The heat, the passion, and the exploration of limitations always start things off with a bang. Unfortunately, as in any relationship, a major challenge is keeping the fires burning. And things like work and family can be harder to mesh with a bdsm relationship.

How to Keep a BDSM Relationship from Burning Out

Continue to Test Limitations Sometimes the roles of sub and dom can become more alike than different over time. Communicate when you think things are feeling stale or when you’ve been thinking about trying something new. Keep a journal of desires for your partner to read.

Join the BDSM Community Staying in contact with other community members is a great way of connecting and finding out what’s new and happening. Depending where you live, look for clubs, vacation destinations, events, and munches for kink lovers.

Make Plans It’s easy to let the day-to-day ordeals of daily life get in the way of your bdsm pleasures. To help prevent this from happening, you might need to sit down and make plans – sure it takes a little of the spontaneity out of things – but it also help to ensure a scene will happen (and help you prepare).

No Pressure Expecting your bdsm relationship to always have a high intensity is unrealistic. Some couples will take time off from their sub/dom roles to relieve the pressure. As long as these breaks are discussed and not unexpected, it’s a good way of keeping the highs high and accepting that down time is okay.

Secret Signals Even with busy lives you can still find time for your roles with a little creativity. When your sub is available to you, she can use hand signals or wear a piece of jewellery in a particular way to signal her limitations. Or try using certain words in public to direct your sub’s behavior.

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