My story....

This is my story so far and hoping for some advice!?
DH and I got married in august 2005 and soon after decided we wanted children. I naively thought that it would happen pretty quickly but soon 2, 3 ,4 months had gone by and still nothing.
After two years and many tears ,my DH suggested we go to the doctors. I was reluctant to go as I would then have to admit that there was a problem. We went in november 2007 and were given the usual blood tests and SA (?) and told everything was normal. We were referred to Addenbrookes and I had a hysterosalpinogram and pelvic scan and more blood tests. Saw the consultant in August 2007 and were told everything was normal and we were one of many 'unexplained infertility' cases. We were told that we could go on the waiting list for IVF in october as we would have been trying for 3 years and told that the waiting list at that time wasn't too long and would prob get treatment in new year.
To cut an already long story short(er) we were referred to the Cambs PCT and have just had a letter from Bourn Hall for our first group session on 2nd april.
Sorry for the rambling on cos I feel like I've not been through as much as the rest of you but find it hard when people say- at least you've got age/time on your side, or it will happen, just stay positive!!!
If anyone has any advice or info for me it would be greatly appreciated

I really feel for you , I am 41 and still have bad days after trying for the last 12yrs and i still don't know whats wrong with me, I have just had some more tests as now I would like to try and end my Journey .
You may just need a little help have you had clomid? and why are they putting you straight to IVF they normally offer IUI first with clomid .
I would ask if you really need to go straight to IVF , How old are you if you don't mind me asking?.

Hi Suzy
As far as I know they haven't put me on clomid as all my hormone levels are fine. We were told by the doc we first saw that they may recommend clomid at the hospital but as everything was normal the consultant said that our next step would be IVF.
I really feel for you to as I can't imagine what it feels like to have been trying that long and still not have any answers. Do they not have any ideas about what might be the problem?
I know what you mean about bad days!!! In the last 6 months my sister, cousin and 3 friends have had babies and my sister in law is due middle of april and best friend is due the end of the month!! Seems like it's happening to everyone around me except me!!!
I'm 27 (28 in may) and DH is 32 in april.

it can be soooooo frustrating not to have a reason For info, after 2 years of trying we were also put in the unexplained category. As I was ovulating the cons didn't think clomid was appropriate and his personal opinion was that it was better to go straight to IVF than trying IUI. I guess the good news is that, even if they can't find a reason, IVF does work for a lot of unexplained cases. And some of those go on to get pg whilst waiting to have IVF......which is what has happened to us (although, sadly, noe of the pgs have worked out).

You're in good company here as many of us girls know the frustation and heartache of falling into the unexplained bracket. I was originally told that I had ovulation problems and put on clomid, after 6 months (only 4 of which I took it as it made me so depressed) they admitted to the private clinic I asked to be referred to that there was never anything wrong with my ovulating at all my DH sperm motility is slightly low and he has a raised levels of "abnormal forms" but nothing that should have stopped us from conceiving.

Now I'm due to start IVF at the end of this month having wasted 12 months so your consultant referring you straight to IVF is the right choice. I know everyone says it but do try to stay positive, you're taking the next step and at your age the chances are excellent.

If you ever feel the need to rant, feel free. We know how it feels and it makes you feel better (especially if you eat a whole carton or chocolate chip icecream shortly aftewards).

It is soooo frustrating being labelled "unexplained" we were for two years and it was only at our IUI appointment when DH had a different test known as the "swim up" test that they found out he had anti-sperm antibodies.. these were totally undetected in the normal SA; I'm not sure how common they are but it might be a test to ask for?

It's good that your appointment is at least not to far away.. I was also surprised they are saying to go straight for IVF but I guess it's a good thing if it's what you want and you dont have to wait, however if you wanted to give IUI a shot first then I would ask about it..
wishing you loads of luck and hope things become a little clearer for you after your appointment in April.

Yeah, 'unexplained' has a wonderfully mysterious ring to it. Doesn't help, though! I remember having a laparoscopy in Guildford many years ago and they said all seemed okay, got rid of a bit of endemetriosis but otherwise go home and come back in a couple of years - I felt so desolate and mystified. Then a couple of years later I was diagnosed with underactive thyroid, where your metabolism is so slow that even if you got pregnant, you would miscarry without even knowing. I cried with joy when I was diagnosed - I thought finally - this is the reason! (now I'm on thyroxine and levels are back to normal) But, almost nine years later we are still trying! (Sometimes we try and accept that it will never happen and have a break for a few months, but it's always, always, there....) All our friends' kids are 7 or 8. Yet we were the first ones to start TTC! We're 39 now and moving onto IVF if this 3rd IUI fails.

Hey Nat, I am sorry that you are having trouble TTC and your story mirrors our own. 'Unexplained' is such a frustrating label but please try to stay positive. IKWYM about everybody else having babies all around you, we were the first to TTC and the last to have a baby, I especialy had a bad case of 'bump envy' and stayed away from pg friends. My heart goes out to you.

We opted to go straight for IVF as we could not get funding and didn't want to spend what little money we managed to scrape together on several attempts of IUI for it not to work and then have no money left for IVF so we but the bullet and put all our eggs in one basket (as it were :snigger. As you can see, it payed off and we now the most beautiful little boy.

I really wish you all the best and please do not loose hope, it can and DOES happen.

IVF #1 2008 William born 15/2/09
Our 6 yr TTC journey WAS over
Shocking natural Charlotte born 10/9/11 Our family is now complete

It's been a long time. It would never be easy for you. I am so sorry for you. I know it must be so hard for you. I have faced unexplained infertility after my miscarriages. I always wanted to be a mother. But it was not in my fate. I was so devastated but it was of no use. I wanted to be a mother at any cost. It took 4 years of medication with no luck. In the end, I decided to go for surrogacy. I went to a clinic in Europe. The clinic was renown for its surrogacy. I have a baby now. I am so happy that I took a right decision.

It's been quite a while. It could never be manageable for you. I am so sad for you. I know it must be so difficult for you. I have confronted unexplained infertility for 10 years. The reason was unknown. The doctors dont even know the reason behind this. I generally needed to be a mother. Yet, it was not in my destiny. I was so crushed. I needed to be a mother at any cost. I also went for IVF but no luck. At last, I chose to go for surrogacy. I went to a clinic in Europe. The facility was eminence for its surrogacy. I have an infant now. I am happy to the point that I took a correct choice.

Hey there. I've always found this "unexplained infertility" really confusing. I mean, it's supposed to be confusing, but still. I'd suggest IVF. I think that is the way forward. If there's a problem in the egg fertilization, it will get addressed. I hope it works out. Good luck to you!