Category: Trying To Conceive

After 3 years of trying to concieve we finally decided a few months ago to go to a Fostering & Adoption orientation. My parents came with us as they were also interested in fostering as well. The orientation was very informative and pretty much what I expected of it. We have the paperwork all filled out but have yet to get the required police checks.

It’s not a decision we just came to a conclusion on quickly before going. It’s something for me that has been in my mind since I was a teenager and my parents adopted my brother and when we first got together and the relationshop got serious even before we experienced infertility issues it was something I brought up and he agreed with me that he would love to foster and/or adopt with me.

As I mentioned the forms are all filled out. We just have to get the police record checks done and submit it. I’ve been sitting on it a bit because I need to call and clarify which of the checks we need to get done and submit with the application. We decided first on fostering and maybe adopting down the road.

There is such a great need for foster homes, especially for children with disabilities and for babies. I’ve just also been holding off hoping to get our schedules and little more open because we spend hours getting to and from work each day added to working 8 (me) and 9 (him) or more hours a day. If we foster there is no parental leave so I was hoping one of us could get on a day shift and the other a night shift so that we only paid for childcare for a few hours each day but that’s not working out so well as neither of us can get days, they wouldn’t even give it to me for valid medical reasons after I first got diagnosed.

I kinda feel like we are juggling health and logistics problems with our desire to be parents and it’s not really working out to well for us.

At one point in my life before Edward my desire to be a parent (I was all for adopting on my own or fostering) was hampered by dept and financial issues and in the case of pregnancy lack of a partner. Now that everything seems to be on track in those departments now there is infertility, health issues, and logistical issues with just never being home. I don’t want us to be parents that never have the time to spend with our kids. so we just have to find and make the time. Eventually hopefully everything will fall in place. We haven’t given up on pregnancy yet. We know what the issue is, it’s just a lack of finances and resources to try and overcome it which is so frustrating. Right now we are just hoping for a miracle but we really need to stop stalling and get the paperwork in so that we can become the parents I know we were meant to be.

It’s been almost 40 days since our wedding and how does it feel? About the same lol I’m not really sure if I expected it to feel different? I really don’t know. Eddie and I talked about it some over the last few days and have come to the conclusion that that’s a very good thing

If anything I love him more and more and more every day so I know it’s the right decision for us. We are settling down and enjoying the married life but honestly day to day life doesn’t feel so different and I love it. I know that if you don’t live together first it must really seem different but we already knew what we wanted and had already established a pattern before getting married.

I love being at home with him during the day and I love still having the weekends together. I wish I liked to clean more and was a better housekeeper lol but I can learn. Cooking too. I really need to concentrate on cooking and nutrition and getting my diabetes more under control. I need to take some cooking classes or something.

I am loving working from home. I am not doing too bad. My speed is picking up and I can get each transcript done a bit quicker and I think my quality is improving as well. It’s all proofread by my Mom anyways as she is certified in Nova Scotia and I am not. We created a web site for our company and my mom is sending letters around to all the lawyers to let them know she started a new company with me.

I have created a LinkedIn page for the business and have been submitting it to sites like Yelp.ca and others. It’s going pretty good. I was also planning on selling Avon in my spare time but I can not get into it much. I love the products but I am not much of a sales person I will admit. I am going to try though.

I am really loving being home all day and working from home. I am however going to a job interview with Chapters/Indigo Friday and hoping I might get at least a part-time job out of it as 1) I would love to work in a bookstore and 2) I need something to keep me occupied until business picks up more for our transcription company.

We are still trying for a baby but still having no luck. It’s really frustrating but at least now that the wedding is over and we are settling down we wont feel so stressed with it and maybe we will have better luck. We are continuing with testing to see if we can figure out what is causing the issues but now we can also start the adoption process which I am really excited about. We still have to be living together 2 years, married or not but we are 1 year into it now so we can at least get the paperwork going and start taking the needed classes so we can either foster or adopt, both of which we are interested in.

We had a doctors appointment on Wednesday. Eddie doesn’t have a family doctor so I asked mine to take him on. Dr. H said yes. We discussed trying to conceive and he agreed that after 9 months we should be starting to do some testing on both Eddie and I to see if there is anything wrong, any reason we haven’t conceived yet since we are trying quite regularly, at least every second day.

He is starting with Edward as he said it is much easier testing him then it is me. So we are officially starting testing as well which I am happy but scared about. I am terrified it is going to come back that one of us is not fertile. I am more concerned about myself them him as I am really sure he is not the issue. A feeling or intuition I’m not sure. I just think I am the cause of the trouble.

I know in the scheme of things that 8 or 9 months is not very long but I am just scared. My mom had so many miscarriages before they adopted my brother and I remember how hard it was on her and them both and I just am so scared of going through that.

You look at a friend who gets pregnant after trying for a month or two and sometimes you can’t help but being jealous and frustrated sometimes. I have had a number of friends like that. Right now my best fried is pregnant after having a miss carriage a few months ago. I know how hard that was on her and her boyfriend and I am so glad she is doing well this time. But sometimes I just wonder why can’t I even get pregnant. It’s not even a case of miscarrying. I just can’t seem to period.

We have not had time to go to the adoption orientation session or set up the training and with the hours we work it almost seems impossible as they are all in the evening. Even that seems to be going no where right now. Maybe it’s better to wait till after we are married to look into adoption seriously anyways. I don’t really know. I guess we will see.