03 October 2012

Michio Kaku - a celebrity wannabe whore

Introduction

Boy am I going to regret the title someday. Maybe. Right now I can't find a more suitable and to-the-point title. Basically I'm saying this man is willing to sell the biggest bullshit for a little bit of fame.

Funding Science

Usually professors are responsible to find funds for research. One way to collect money is to make their field of expertise popular and relevant (promises for great things). That's why NASA sends out worthless messages about possible life on Mars every two weeks. It's to keep the public warm so NASA can continue to beg for funds. But if you listen carefully they haven't offered us anything yet. It's all very vague. Something tells me it will stay this way forever.

Now about the String Theory. That's the biggest scam ever. The String Theory is about a smallest particle of energy in the form of a string. It implies the existence of multiple dimensions, which in turn leaves us with most hardcore scientific formulas. These formulas are so difficult to understand, only a very few know what it says.. Those are very important formulas because they offer the Theory Of Everything! Yep. Not even the most bad ass wizardry in Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter dared to go that far. But String Theory scientsts found it.

But wait, it turns out the theoretical models raise unsolvable problems. So they added more dimensions to their story. Now, they even have entire parallel universes. Multiverses! With 11 dimensions. Each time they couldn't figure out the problem with their theory, they added more dimensions. That's the trick. And so the formulas - which seem to have an elegancy beyond imaginable borders - became more complex as well. Multiple universes to solve everything (e v e r y t h i n g) because it's the Theory of Everything, remember? And so nations kept donating money. In fact up to 80% of the science budgets went to String Theory research at one point. Talking about one big scam. Tell me if you think a bigger scam could compete with this. Feel free to include Madoff or Lehmann Brothers.

Michio Kaku Fights Ineffective Science

Luckily we have Michio Kaku to stop all this nonsense because he stated once how he's critical about some of the cost-ineffective missions and methods of NASA. Oops I was wrong. Michio Kaku is the biggest endorser of the String Fairy Tale. But then again, he's the co-writer of this fantasy story. Yep, the co-founder. This should be enough to be suspicious already but now the real work starts.

Signals To Outer Space

In the documentary "Through the Wormhole" episode "Will We Survive First Contact?" we learn that NASA is searching for Extraterrestrial Life by scanning the universe for certain patterns in certain frequencies. Enter M.K. He claims NASA is doing it wrong because they are not scanning a broad aspect of frequences. And then he makes an example so Rednecks would understand too: by standing on a bridge taking photographs of cars passing by. Then he asks us: would we find the alien if we would only take pictures this way on this spot? I bet all the scientific wannabe sheeple are like: "Noooo offcourse not. Stupid NASA. We are so much more efficient because we understand what the Great Michio Kaku is saying.".

Bambi versus Godzilla

For some reason Michio Kaku is allowed to say more stuff in the same episode. He tells us not to believe Hollywood movies (good thing he's telling us that) because they protray as if Earth will have an all out war against Aliens. Like, a fair battle. No says M.K., it will be more like Bambi vs Godzilla! (add convincing tone and amazement for the dramatic effect). Something tells me even Rednecks and wannabees (the target audience) could have guessed this.

Michio Explains the String Theory (not)

Have you seen this YouTube video of him explaining the String Theory to idiots uninformed human beings? Here's the link:Idiot Guide to String Bullsh*t.

First of all the entire four minutes are about travel through wormholes. What the String Theory really is isn't explained at all. It's only slightly touched at best. Here's the cool part: at 2:23: we are shown some formula with only the smallest amount of vague context and without an explanation of the formula. It's obviously meant to impress us with the sheer complexity of it. And at 3:54 mark we're shown the same formula again without any explanation and - this time - no context whatsoever. But if that formula doesn't impress you then I don't know what will. The Theory of Everything is right there at your disposal.

Michio Knows About Radiation Too. He's Such a Genius LOL!

So Fukushima had this Nuclear Reactor thing going on. A very sad story for many out there. Aside from the immediate drama there was this isssue on how to handle the situation with the reactor in general. Michio appeard on ABC and was perfectly able to tell:

What to do

Japanese Suck

First he was telling how the reactor should be burried (or something) and then he was telling how the Japanese leadership weren't real scientist because they have fallen asleep. Here's the exact quote:

And there's the usual fear mongering, the thing he's really good at (just observe how often he's telling us how the Aliens will crush us!):

“Plutonium is the most toxic chemical known to
science! A speck of plutonium, a millionth of a gram, could cause cancer
if it’s ingested.” -Michio Kaku, ABC News, March 25,2011

A second of sun tanning can cause cancer too. No context whatsoever. But most viewers by far won't know how to look at his statement and find the flaws. All they know is that Kaku is some smart sicentist with wormholes and Theory of Everything which makes travel from verse to verse possible. Then surely he must know stuff about something as puny as your everyday average nuclear reactor?

So he doesn't think Evolution has stopped but (wait for it...) "grrosse evolution" has stopped. Grosse as in, our brains are not getting bigger, and other physical features. An no, it's not terminology. Mr. Kaku invented it. "Grosse Evolution". Isaac Asimov would be proud.

But he has a solution (was there a problem?). Gene manipulation. Now we cannot create a pig with wings yet - "that would require the manipulation of thousands of genes, we simply don't have that technology yet" - so chances are that we would look decades from now the same.

Find any spoiled 12 year old girl who's major achievement is clicking the "Like Button" on Facebook and she'd predict the same if you ask her.

Michio Kaku Knows Everything About Everything

He sure is acting like he does. He knows everything about everything. He knows how the future would look like (he's a futurist too), he knows how the universe is built up, he even knows there are multiple universes, he knows about evolution, he knows about gene technology and manipulation, he knows about the military strength of aliens, he knows better how to scan for alien signals then NASA signal experts, he knows about radiation and how to handle nuclear reactor incidents. The only thing he does not know how is how to prevent shit coming from his mouth. He should find some funds to research how to do that. This man has the world nothing to offer.

Not Just This

I could have gone on and on about him and his antics. Clearly I'm not his biggest fan. Just look up all his material on YouTube (it's about 99% of all YouTube material because he likes attention so much) and you tell me if you genuinly really really really learned something for reals. Be honest. Until then...