My husband is putting on a birthday party for me. I will be turning 57.

His sister has taken up the art of hand-sculpting huge birthday cakes. She has been mastering the art of making huge, three-foot-tall penises. She recently presented one to her mother-in-law for her birthday.

Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. She is very proud of herself and takes this cake-making business seriously.

I have just found out that my husband has ordered a cake from her for my birthday.

I think she is grotesque, rude and out of line with these cakes. I am mortified that she might make the same cake for me.

How should I react? With disgust and asking her to leave? Or thanking her and putting a large garbage bag over it and offering it to her to take home?

I have told my husband I would be totally offended if I was presented with a cake like that as a surprise. He says not to worry about it, that he's sure she won't do it. But I know she will. Please tell me what to say.

Say "Thank you," whisk it into the kitchen, slice it in small pieces and serve it on a platter. Just please don't describe the slicing to Miss Manners.

Great post! I am so with you on feeling like God has bigger things to worry about than my problems. I feel selfish asking him to bless me with a friend that I can really connect with because I feel so lonely sometimes. I think to myself that if I could pour myself into a deeper relationship with him that I wouldn't feel so lonely and that maybe that is why he hasn't sent me such a friend. It's hard to do this walk alone, though, and my husband is not a believer. Please pray with me that he would open his heart to our great Lord.

what are those first things? Cat in the Hat hats by Dr. Seuss? *feigns innocence*

aw, happy little three-fingered snowmen...

lumpy pink oversized "bowling pin" (gee, how into bowling IS she?) doesn't the baker know that pins are WHITE? balls are pink! and that "pin" looks a little bruised where the icing is thin over the chocolate cupcakes. coverage, people!

(btw, I wonder if her name is misspelled (Caitlyn?) Hard to say these days with "creative" names.)

love the paintbrush/rocketship woody. some paint pots might have been helpful here.

the hat actually looks pretty good, seams, button, vent holes, B. Then the bat is just so short and FLESH-COLORED.

love the "toasting" of those boney marshmallow chicken legs on the wonky CCC basketball. yowza.

wv: verin. if these ugly cakes don't get eaten and get put out, they may attract verin.

Amy, if someone gave me that rude, crude and socially unacceptable cake, I would rush out of the kitchen with a cleaver and maniacally hack it to bits, shrieking "muwahahahahahaha!!!" Then look around the room at all the men, nod my head, and say "yeah."

You know, that Boston cap is really nice! Whoever did that and the ball did an amazing job.

Which leads me to wonder... what the hell happened with that bat?! I mean, the colors on the other objects are perfect, so instead we get a flesh colored bat? I seriously had to do at least a double take, if not more, when I saw that cake. All of these are awesome, but that one really knocked it out of the park.

The first one probably means to show test tubes (upside down) rather than "crotch rockets." I suspect that the light saber is supposed to be a Harry Potter-style broomstick, which would be fine if not for that dent near the end.

A baseball cap, a ball and a fake ding-a-ling -- that is an unusual combination. I think I received almost that exact model as a gag gift at my wedding shower, but I never thought of hitting baseballs with it.

wv: snicate definition to snicker and eat at the same time. That pale pink cake made me snicate

The worst part about the baseball cake for Brian is that the hat and ball are awesome.. *sigh*

And that lightsaber? What the frick? I didn't know that they made.. *ahem* 'personal massager' cake pans. My sister's getting married in October, I'll have to see if I can find one of those for her bachelorette party ;)

That "grill" thing? They're calling it a "15CT BBQ GRILL CUPCAKE PULLAPART." And it's only $12.99, which means that each cupcake is less than $1!!! They're not even charging extra for the dildos! How can you go wrong with a deal like that. Unless there are more than three *hungry* guests, and they end up fighting with (over?) that talented chef.

Now, I think that whoever ordered Josh's cake must have been pretty hard up not to be able to buy a better cake. And what are the gray blocks for? What was their angle here? Also, it's really hard to tell from the picture how many people could be served a piece, with nothing to compare it to. Or measure it against...

The last one was obviously made for a BBQ hosted by a woman whose husband just cheated on her. He hasn't been seen since and the meat she is serving is a little suspicious.Does the innapropriate-ness make anyone else want to eat them that much more? No? I am just sick then.

omg, your last comment had me busting a gut. and on Josh's cake, it took me a minute to see the "light saber." I saw an artist's paintbrush with...two big, blue erasers? two, blue butter dishes? not sure.

from joules:I also read Miss Manners' column today, and thought to myself: If I were that letter writer, anticipating the embarrassing 3-foot-tall phallic cake from my dear sister-in-law, I would do two things. The second thing is I'd make sure I had my camera ready so I could send the pictures to Cake Wrecks. The FIRST thing I would do is call my S-I-L and say, "I know my husband has asked you to bake one of your special cakes for my birthday. I am so touched by your act of kindness. I just hope he remembered to tell you that my favorite cake is chocolate with chocolate frosting." Then, if she really did bake me a chocolate schlong, I would be *in* on the joke instead of being the "butt" (sorry) of the joke. If she baked me a boring sheetcake, I would be happy because it would be my favorite flavor.

WV: branis My branis melting with horror at the wrecks on your site. Thanks for the daily LOLs, Jen!

Hey Jen, I just wanted to mention, regarding to your post asking us to report wonkyness; all posts read in the Yahoo! RSS reader show the captions that belong below the images to the right of the images.

Thank you. I just inhaled a mouthful of mexican food. I now have acid burned sinuses & esophagus. That first picture made me gasp in horror, right after I put a mouthful of refried beans covered in chipotle tabasco into my mouth.

Well it could just be me (but I highly doubt it) but I am seeing a lot of male anatomy on these cakes lol. The cupcakes that bowling cake.. I could go on and on.. wow to the wreckerators for these cakes. They could make wonderful bridal shower cakes lol.

wow! I had a mouth full of coffee when I first loaded the page... Very nearly spit it out! There's no way these people don't know what they are doing with this stuff. Bahahaha!(Also... you wanted us to report issues? I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, but the comment section is now a dark greyish blue on the blue background and is very hard to read without highlighting the text first. Using Firefox 3.0.15 in Windows XP.)

I have been having a crappy weekend/week so far, and thought I would get a dose of CW to cheer me up! Now aside from making more work for my self, by now having to clean off my computer screen of coffee (Um really, you truly think that looks like a base ball bat???), I DO FEEL BETTER!!! Thanks for always givng me a laugh! Come to Toronto for your next tour- I will bake you a cake!Dianediane7@rogers.com

But it could have been worse. At least the wreckinator didn't try to show buns toasting on the grill as well. 'Cause we all know that would look like something out of a gay pride post-parade bbq picnic.

So Wednesday was my birthday so i felt this the most appropriate day to post this on. I started following CW a few weeks ago and really love it. But today a friend i hadn't seen in a while who DIDN'T know I follow cake wrecks posted the Baby Jockey Carrot Cake on my wall, telling me that she thought CW was the perfect website for me. I had a total freak out!

Aww...that lightsaber is actually quite well done if only it wasn't for the unfortunate crease...and the coloring. My kids are Star Wars fanatics, and I can tell you lightsabers can be red, green, and blue, but never a purplish gray.

Only wreckerators could make test tubes (science cupcakes, also saw atoms on others), a girl's dress (Kaitlyn's cake, I think that was what the big pink thing really was), a light saber and a baseball bat look phallic!

The light saber would have been great if only the wreckerator had done a straight cylindrical handle. Also, if the bat had been piped in tan or yellow (to represent wood, not a woodie), and made the body longer and thinner, and round end a little less pronounced, the baseball cake would have worked. (Was this cake a lingering effect of the Curse of the Bambino? After all, that was a Red Sox cake wreck.)

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