Monday, October 3, 2011

it makes it okay.

It’s been about a month since I began the transition from full time SAHM to part time working mom. Funny how when this happens, you don’t suddenly become a part time mom. Rather, you are still a full time mom and you just have to figure out how and where to add employment into your life, fitting it around your duties as wife/mom as best you can.

I’ll have to admit, in the weeks leading up to my return to work, I was scurrrrrrred. I had no idea how I’d find the balance between work life and home life. I didn’t know how I would feel about leaving Evalyn with someone. I didn’t know how Evalyn would do away from me. If you read my whiny posts, you’ll know that I was struggling. Of course, just like any situation in my life that I worry about, looking back I realize there wasn’t much to worry about. So far, the transition has gone very well. I’m thankful that my work load has increased (and will continue to increase) gradually. I was able to dip my toes in and slowly wade in rather than taking a huge belly flop of the high dive.

What I’ve learned is that there are some things that have made my transition to work okay. Some things that have really, really helped and, believe it or not, even made me look forward to and enjoy the challenge.

I mean, first of all, and obviously, having a second income has been a definite bonus. But that’s not what I’m talking about. There are other things that make it okay.

I have loved, absolutely loved, getting to choose real person clothes to wear to work every day. I don’t have a dress code at work. I can wear sweat pants and a tshirt if I want. But I choose to look a little better than that because it’s one of the few times that I can. I don’t usually do dress pants, often jeans, but I like to make myself look (somewhat) put together. It’s fun being able to pick out outfits that I don’t have to worry if I can nurse discreetly in, or if the snot that Evalyn wipes on my shoulder will show up, or if she’ll strangle me when she pulls on my necklace 45825 times in the first three minutes after I put it on. It’s nice to be excited about style.

Another thing that makes it okay is having a kid who has done so very well with the transition. She hasn’t gotten upset when I leave her yet. She has napped well almost every time she’s been away from me. She goes to bed just fine for Evan, my mom, her aunties, the girls upstairs – no one has ever had an issue putting her to bed. She flips back and forth from sippy cup of cow’s milk to nursing like it’s no big deal. My worries about how she would do without me? Ha. Enough said.

Right now, she’s spending most of my work days with one of my best friends. Can I tell you how much more at ease I am knowing that she in the hands of someone who I would trust with my own life? I know that C knows Evalyn’s schedule, habits, likes, dislikes, and habits almost as well as I do. She has spent a lot of time with her since we see her multiple times per week, even before she started watching her. She knows when to put her down early, or keep her up a bit longer. She knows just how much fussing is okay before going in to check her. She knows her favourite toys, songs and games. She just knows her. And that? That makes leaving her 100% easier.

And, of course, the last thing that I’ve found that makes it okay is getting to experience the excitement Evalyn shows when I pick her up. Before I started working, I was rarely away from her during the day. Most of the time when I , went out, it was in the evening. Either after she went to bed or for dinner or what not, which meant she’d be sleeping when I got home. And, you know, by morning time, she doesn’t remember that I was away the night before. Now? When I get to C’s to pick her up, she remembers that she missed me. I get a little taste of the excitement she shows when Evan gets home from work each night. She smiles, laughs, sometimes claps her hand and boogies her little tooshie over to me to give me a hug and cling to me like I am the most prized possession in the world. And that feeling? It makes it okay.

11 comments:

I don't have kids yet, but it made me smile to hear how excited she gets to see you! I know it's my favorite part of getting to see my god-daughter when I haven't seen her in a few weeks :) I'm happy to hear that you're both adjusting well!

I think that going back to work was a good thing for both me and my kids. It helps them to develop their own identity and habits away from me. Also, they have learned to listen to other peoples rules and it really has made them more well rounded. And it helps me to be sane and get some much needed contact with the outside world. It also helped Luke and the kids to bond due to the extra time they spend together without me present. I'm glad the transition has gone well for you guys! Keep up the good work.