Since 2002, Organic/Mechanic has been the personal website of Adam Harvey.

Jalopy

There was on­ce a clown who worked at a cir­cus fac­to­ry that made clown parts. This clown was a qual­i­ty tester at the fac­to­ry.
Her first du­ty in the morn­ing was to make sure that the wa­ter-squirt­ing car­na­tions squirt­ed wa­ter and that the crème pies were just the right amount of creami­ness. Then she would re­move her hair and nose and try on new clown hair and noses. The clown didn’t re­al­ly like her own nose; it was a rub­ber salami. When she test­ed the oth­er noses, she would think about how they set off the polka dots on her jump­suit and the spots of col­or that were her cheeks.

Then she would take off her feet and put on the newest clown feet. She test­ed the­se by slip­ping on ba­nana peels and falling in­to tubs of pud­ding. The larg­er the splash, the bet­ter the shoes. She want­ed new clown feet too, hers were start­ing to cor­rode a bit.

All in all, her job bred much dis­con­tent. She was a poor clown, un­able to af­ford the ex­cel­lent and ef­fec­tive gad­getry that she con­front­ed her each day. She owned a bright pur­ple jalopy that nev­er worked cor­rect­ly and could on­ly hold three oth­er clowns. Eventually this clown be­came the dri­ving force in what be­came known as the Great Balloon Animal Uprising. After this failed at­tempt at world dom­i­na­tion was quashed all clowns were com­plete­ly erad­i­cat­ed by vig­i­lantes who were retroac­tive­ly par­doned by pas­sage of the Deharlequin Act.