Bare Asses at the Crack of Dawn on Channel 9

The May 12 edition of the Channel 9 morning news show dealt with the naked truth in more ways than one. As anchor Gary Shapiro reported about a May 11 photo shoot at an Austrian soccer stadium featuring approximately 1,800 individuals posing nude, control-room personnel rolled footage illustrating his words. Most of the images, like the attached Associated Press photo seen here, were shot from such long distances that details were all-but-impossible to see -- although, not having a big-screen HD model, I can't say for certain. However, several seconds of mid-range video displayed plenty of (ass) cheek, most of it distinctly flabby.

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Problematic? Not from this viewer's perspective. The nudity was intrinsic to the moderately amusing (and therefore, modestly newsworthy) story, and the presentation was de-eroticized to such an extent that only the most judgmental of prudes are likely to have objected. Of course, such people do exist, and it's entirely possible that some of them gagged on their Cream of Wheat when their screen was filled with skin prior to 6 a.m. Overall, though, Shapiro and his colleagues at Channel 9 shouldn't be accused of making asses of themselves. At least not any more than normal. -- Michael Roberts

Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.