This is paedo-enabler, sweet little Nazi in sensible ballet pumps and devoted crazy person, Pope Benedict XVI, shaking the hand of the rather delicious and some might say nutritious Carla Bruni off-of French president. But don’t be fooled by the conviviality! Not even by the viviality!

It has been revealed, by way of colour and movement, that prior to Nicolas Sarkozy’s recent 30-minute audience with the all-seeing insane one (that meeting up there was a couple of years ago. Carla’s still trying to get the filth off) the Vatican sent an unambiguous message to the French ambassador that, and we quote with not only quotation marks but three raised eyebrows, ‘Carla Sarkozy is not welcome in the Vatican.’

For why? Because Carla once posed, and we quote, ‘scantily-clad’. The perils of being a supermodel!