I am the eldest of the Wilkerson children and as I like to remind my siblings, “The first born, the best looking, the most intelligent and still 39.”

It took me an adult life time to realize that life is not always easy or fair and definitely, not painless.

But God has a plan:

Matthew 11:28: “Come to me all of you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

God called and my mother answered.

My mother would have been 98, this August 29. She outlived most of her friends, and frankly, I thought she might outlive me.

Let’s face it, when a loved one passes, we are never fully ready, especially when a mother. Mothers have a special place in our hearts where no one else can enter. Frances Marie Wilkerson, was the first person on the planet earth to love me unconditionally and she wasn’t afraid to show it.

Good parents are not measured by the success, or the behavior of their children. Good parents are measured by if their children know they are loved.

Funerals are a growing-maturing tool. No one wants to go to a funeral if they don't have to. For the most part they are painful. People go to funerals not for themselves but for others and that is the way it should be.

I debated whether to say something today. I had the perfect emotional excuse to not stand up here. I’m speaking today for one reason, my mother asked me to. She really did. She asked me to speak at her funeral more than once and each time I told her no way. I'm here now because I know in my heart that my mother would appreciate it.

I guess that makes me a 66 year old mama’s boy!Did I say 66? I meant 39.

My parents were founding members of St. Anastasia Church, I believe the year was 1953. I was an altar boy in this church. I grew up in this church. More importantly, I started a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, in this very church.

After my father passed in 2009, for the first time in my life, I actually came to know my mother as a vulnerable, adult human being.

I experienced her financial dependence on my father for all matters of life. I saw her fragility as a mourning spouse who lost the love of her life, I felt her live, for the love of her faith, her family and her friends.

She wanted to follow her husband George since he passed away in 2009, yet she was always reborn with genuine exuberance and joy when she would see a grandchild.

I had great mother and great parents, they were always available for any circumstance in life. Virtually every week they would call and offer to babysit, so my wife and I could have some free time. My parents took each child out for their birthday individually, bought them dinner or lunch and of course gave them a lecture on life. Our kids looked forward to this special time. Of course they also got a $100 bill.

My mother had a great life and she would be the first to tell you so.

My mother was a real character and I don’t think she ever fully knew it. She always said what was on her mind regardless of the external circumstances.

With respect to me, her first born: Whenever I did something that my mother did not approve of, she would immediately turn to my wife Mitzy and exclaim with frustration, “He was never like that until he married you.” Talk about denial.

Another time she physically held an attorney friend of mine at the kitchen sink, until he cleaned his own plate. She was perfectly happy to feed him as long as he cleaned up after himself!

In my mother's later years, she had a hard time remembering what she had to eat five minutes ago, but when she was introduced to an old friend she had not seen in 50 years, she had no problem remembering that she smelled alcohol on his breath 5 decades ago and would not hesitate to remind that friend of his errant ways.

She met her match though when she was babysitting for us one Saturday night. Andrea was 5 and wanted to go to her friend’s house. Grandma said no. Apparently Andrea considered this offensive and promptly dialed 911, telling the police that her grandmother was being mean to her! That must have been quite a conversation when the police showed up at our front door!

One of my last memories of my mother was after I said grace at a family meal and she turned to me and sadly said, “I wish I could hear what you said.” For the last ten years, my mother was nearly deaf, despite hearing aids.

Her inability to hear and understand everything all around her was very frustrating and depressing for her. She never got tired of scolding me for not speaking louder, as if I did it on purpose. Now that I think about it, I think that might be Mitzy's fault too!

Well, today I don't have to yell, because I believe and I know, she can hear me just fine.

Since my father’s passing in 2009, every week my mother would tell me that she too wanted to pass. She was always looking at photos. Virtually every photo album would make her cry because many of the people in the photos were no longer living. She wondered aloud if anyone would be alive for her funeral! Sometimes, she would just cry in wonderment why she was still here. She has been literally praying to die for nearly a decade. She would verbally tell God that she had a great life and would verbally pray out loud to please take her now.

While I understood her emotional position, I did not like it. I considered it insulting, to all those around her, especially her beloved grandchildren.

The truth is my mother was emotionally gifting us all to the very end.

How can you be heartbroken for someone you love, when they are where they truly want to be?

My mother’s wish has finally come true. She peacefully passed away in her sleep on the evening of Father’s Day. At last, she has her wish to be with my father.

Be happy for her, as I am. She has been praying for this for nearly a decade.

This isn't a sad day, this is a celebration of the synergy of God’s will, with my mother’s free will.

My mother, like all mothers was not perfect, but she was always perfectly honest.

She also gave me the greatest gift any parent could give a child.

Along with my father, she gave me the gift of Faith.

She gave me the set and setting the opportunity and an environment to think and to choose and to believe, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior.She encouraged a lifestyle based on ETERNAL purposes, not cultural values.

She gave me a faith to believe, that we all have a purpose in life. A purpose designed to live with Christ like thinking, values, motivation, character and behavior So that one day, we will all be together again, this time in heaven.

3 John verse 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

That’s God’s purpose for each of us.And a parent’s ultimate purpose in life.That’s the greatest gift any parent can give their child - the gift to choose eternal life.