Pretty Sure Doc Johnson Should Have Named This One "Poseidon Penis"

Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with this toy. I would much rather give it 3.5 stars, but I guess four will have to do. Hopefully the material keeps up with me for a long time, because I'd hate to lose this toy boyfriend. If you're looking for a big, realistic dildo, come right this way — I just hope you don't mind the ridiculous amount of "vanilla perfume" this thing is wearing.

I say Doc Johnson should have named this toy "Poseidon Penis" mostly because it's blue, but also because it is huge. A 6 1/2 inch circumference and a 2 1/8 inch diameter is a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. I've been able to handle 6 inches in length, but holy crap, this thing is ridiculous. That isn't to say that I didn't enjoy using it as much as I could, but I wouldn't recommend this toy for beginners.

Using this toy is pretty tricky. It's really flexible; so if you're not warmed up or you're not using a ton of lube (water based only), do not attempt this toy. One, it's really uncomfortable to try to put in dry, and two, it's just not going to go in. When I first tried using Blush Bulge, I just put a little lube on it and tried it out; epic fail. It bends like a limp dick.

You can see just how flexible it is in the pictures below. It took absolutely no effort to bend it backwards.

Since this big boy is waterproof, I decided I would just take it into the shower with me, and that is where I had the most success. I couldn't get it lubed up enough, so I said fuck it and used some good old-fashioned soap and water. I managed to fit all of the insertable length in, and after a few minutes of getting used to the 6 1/2" circumference, I was good to go. The only problem I ran into to begin with was just how vascular the toy is. The veins stick out really far, and may be uncomfortable for beginners. It took me a couple of tries to actually like the Blush Bulge, but in the end, it was worth it.

Below is a picture of the toy in contrast to my hand. I have a small hand and could have probably forced my fingers to touch, but this is how big it truly is without any forced pressure.

The smell of the Blush Bulge is one that should not be taken lightly. While I don't mind the smell, myself, it is probably too strong for most. It has a really heavy vanilla smell as soon as you open the container, but what other reviews don't mention is the musky smell that it has, too. I know what you're thinking. "Musky? What the hell are you talking about?" Yes, ladies and gents. That smell you get under your armpits after not putting on deodorant kind of musky. It's not overwhelming or incredibly heavy, but that's the smell you're going to have on your fingertips when you pick it up. The musky smell goes away after washing it a few times, but you're stuck with the vanilla. It comes coated in a light powder, so I'm pretty sure that's where the musky smell is coming from. Another unpleasant thing is that the vanilla smell sticks to your hands, even after you wash them. Sorry, guys.

To the touch, this thing is magnificent. I love how it feels comparable to skin when it's warm. It's a little sticky, so it doesn't feel exactly like skin, but once it's warm, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. It's really easy to imagine that a well-endowed man is ramming your brains out while using the Blush Bulge, because it actually feels pretty realistic. My boyfriend is stationed in Japan right now, and having this thing around makes me miss him just a little bit less.

As mentioned before, the vascular element of this toy is unsuitable for beginners, and can be a rough ride, so advanced users only. Unless, of course, you're a ballsy girl like I am and want to get it because it's pretty. I had never tried something like this before the Blush Bulge, so this was my first go 'round with a 6 1/2 incher as well as UR3. I rather liked it, though. So, I'll recommend that only advanced users get this toy, but if you're wanting to go all out, go ahead, beginners.

It doesn't really have much of a taste, so that's a plus. Good luck getting that thing in your mouth, though.

My only complaint about the material is just that it's so damn flexible. You can see that in the above-mentioned photos, but that's really the only beef I have with it other than the smell.

Look at those numbers. It seems pretty scary, sure, but I really liked it. The 6 1/2" circumference was a little much to begin with, but I'm sure this toy is going to turn me into a size queen — it has been fun getting used to the texture and size, for sure. The shape worked pretty well for me, all in all. I could have done without the veins, but putting a condom over it made the ride less rocky. So, if you're a beginner or if you just don't like veins, use a condom, it'll help get rid of the intensity of the veins.

I haven't ever seen a real penis with that many veins, so I'd say that they don't really work well for the realistic look. But, take those away and add a fleshy color, and you've got yourself a really nice dong. I love the way it looks, personally. I like for my toys to be wacky colors anyway, so it fit my niche really well.

As far as travel is concerned, just take the whole package with you. The material doesn't go well with anything else, and the packaging (shown in photo below) is really the best way to store the Blush Bulge. It's not exactly travel friendly, and it's not very discreet, either. It may not make any noises as far as humming/buzzing/vibrations, but you can't just tuck it away in a toy box with the rest of your collection.

This toy's best feature is going to have to be the texture and the color. I love that it's clear with a blue tint; it's really pretty. The texture is really nice and feels realistic when it's warm. I could play with this thing all day if I were already used to its size. Alas, I am not, but maybe one day. It's really an amazing toy, despite its few faults.

The not-so-great part about the toy is the smell paired with the flexibility. When I first tried using the toy, it just kept bending around everywhere and kept slipping out. It would be a lot better if the material were a bit firmer and a lot less giving. The smell is a given; the description above should be enough to explain that.

UR3 is the diva of the sex toy material world. This material has a huge warning sign just flashing over the top of it, so be careful when getting toys like this. UR3 is extremely porous, making it difficult to clean and easy for germs and dirt to hide, so protect them with a condom. Skin-like materials are extremely sensitive; they should be cleaned before and after every use with warm water and toy cleaner or antibacterial soap. These toys come dusted in a powdery material to maintain their unique texture, so make sure you clean the toy thoroughly before the first use. UR3 toys should be stored individually in a dark, cool place. Store each UR3 toy separately in a plastic zip bag or thin sock, if you didn't keep the plastic packaging, because the porous surface can absorb dyes from other materials. These materials are also very incompatible with many substances. Contact with silicone-based lubricants, oil or petroleum based products will cause damages to the surface of the toy. Use only water-based lubricants.

It is suggested that you dust UR3 toys with cornstarch (not TALC powder, as talc has been linked to cervical cancer) to keep it from being or getting sticky. I, however, have not dusted the toy since I got it, and there's only a normal amount of stickiness to it. It's all in how you want to play it, but I've had this thing for two weeks now, and it's still just like it was the day I got it. It's up to you whether or not you want to use cornstarch powder, I'm just saying that I didn't, and it's fine.

I love this toy. I've never experienced a double clitoral orgasm with any toy other than this one. I don't even know how that works, but trust me when I say that it actually happened. I was using the Blush Bulge vaginally while using my vibrator for clitoris stimulation, and oh my word. I don't know how it happened, but I came vaginally and clitoral-ly, and right after the first clitoral orgasm, I had another one. I don't have any idea how that works and haven't bothered to research it, all I know it that it happened. If any of you can shed some light on that, I'd be much obliged.

Follow-up commentaryI don't like it anymore4 months after original review

Alas, this toy was my favorite, once upon a time. It's not that I hate him, but I retired this bad boy and moved on to better (not necessarily bigger, heavens no) things. The effort I had to put into even using this thing was tiring, and by the time I'd already used it several times, the whole process had become a chore. So, I passed it off to someone else who loves it more than I ever did. Good job, Blush Bulge, but in the end, you just weren't for me.

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.

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Reviewed by
J Peach(Eden Advanced reviewer)If you're not living life on the edge, you're taking up too much space.