About two hours until 2018 here in California- time to look back! Oh 2017, it’s been a year. Rollercoaster of a year.

I can’t quite remember a year where there had been such lows but also such highs. To an extent 2017 was one of the most challenging and most difficult years of my life, incredibly trying and filled with sadness. And at the same time there was proof that without darkness there can’t be light. There also was an amount of love, laughter and commitment that I did not previously know.

So here are the sweetest moments from My Tree and Me:

January

Smudging- Celebrations- and travel. We went to celebrate Daniels birthday in Milan and I made him climb up all the stairs of the Duomo because we ate our body weight in pasta yet again. Hashtag Italian Eating.

February

Travel continues to Florence where we meet up with my parents, to Maranello where we simulated Italian driving and up to Como, where dinner finishes at 10p after limoncello, coffee and after coffee snack. Bless Italian eating! After returning to the states I went on an amazing trip to Miraval in Arizona which had been on my bucket list for years!

March

Travel took me to me to one of my very favorite places- the southern United States, Savannah. I have a big heart for the south and specifically the Savannah-Bluffton-Hilton Head Island region. And the resort we stayed at is one of my top 5 resorts in the continental US: Palmetto Bluff.

April

Spring rejuvenation started with shedding some skin, I did a deep skin peel at 22% TCA, those work like a charm for me. They lift an intense amount of pigment and the skin underneath is baby-perfect-and-then-some. Looks scary for a few days, SO worth it.

May

New adventures all around in May, My Tree and Me Blog was born and with it a new morning routine – which since has been re-stared and let go off too many times I care to admit! Ha! And the mane, I cut the mane.

June

Great travels – great losses. Though one of my favorite movements was watching the sun set on top of the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. The best moments of your life leave a mark, not just the sad ones do. It’s all a journey.

July

Daniel’s brother got married at The Ranch in early July and the celebration was grand- the day perfection and the love sweet. I also got my brows micro-bladed and absolutely dislike it (but that’s a story for another post). And we celebrated Dora Lunerkind’s 6th birthday with a beach bash. She’s got our heart!

August

Many sunsets spend by the beach and Mother Nature certainly made it worthwhile. I can’t count how much wisdom I get from Chinese fortune cookies – a lot. Either that or tarot cards.

September

Ultra fit challenge- life changing. Gym nights and mornings. And cooking. At home nonetheless. And no, Daniel did not get food poisoning- surprising even to me.

October

All the feels in October. All. The. Feels. A resort project I was helping with opened its doors after plenty of construction and new envisioning and there is something really powerful about hotels opening. Their doors will then always be open, welcoming travelers from all over the world. -That’s why I work in hospitality. For those moments.

And most importantly Daniel and I shared a very special-life changing-moment. He asked me to be his wife and I said yes! I never really knew that I wanted to be engaged or get married mainly because commitment to me does not come from a marriage license- it comes from two people who care enough about one another to grow with- and support each other so that they can become who they dream of being- together. And Daniel is that person to me. But the moment he asked me to marry him, I had all the butterflies and all the feels. Hashtag OctoberWedding.

And of course October equals Pumpkin Patch. Obvi.

November

End of year re-set anyone? Me!! Urban Remedy to the rescue!

December

A full-circle kind of month, moved back to Carmel Valley exactly 4 years after moving away from it. Such a great feeling being back – there is something about Carmel Valley, it’s quiet and stunning and the rolling hills remind me of Italy. What’s not to love. Shared a surprisingly fabulous sunset in Oakland’s waterfront also- in the 10 years I have lived in California I had not been to Oakland, I even refused flying out of OAK international once or twice so I was certainly positively surprised by its beauty.

We took our engagement pictures with stunning redwoods in Big Sur with Mike Steelman and he made it just so easy and fun for us. A really wonderful day!

Let’s finish with the final sunset of 2017, captured from my driveway.

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” – T.S. Eliot

Thank you so much for reading in 2017, I cannot wait to see what we can accomplish in 2018!

Every next level of your life will demand a different you. Every next level of your life will demand growth, change and adapting. And every next level should push you to become the person you always wanted to be. No matter where you are in life currently, find comfort and discomfort in knowing that new challenges and growth are always ahead. Enjoy the beauty of your growing pains and focus on a new fresh level.

“She understood that the hardest times in life to go through were when you were transforming from one version of yourself to another.” -Sarah Addison Allen

There is always a push that makes you change your life, sometimes it’s a traumatizing experience, a yearn for change or a simple wish to be better.

On Tuesday as Mercury finished it’s retrograde (finally!), I realized that it’s time for me to rise to the occasion. In many aspects of my life including health and stress levels, work-out and skincare routines, quality time spent, blogging and (always of course!) work.

So I signed myself up for the Ultrafit challenge to reset. So here is to cheer to the weeks coming that will reveal nothing less of growing pains, comfort and discomfort, beauty and transformation. Both myself and My Tree and Me Blog! Cheerio!

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” -Abraham Maslow

“But I want you to remember that struggle and strife come before success, even in the dictionary!” -Jessica in Post Grad (the movie)

Sit tight, fasten your seat-belts, August astrology is going to be bumpy, fast and furious. The stars go from simmer to sizzle serving up major moments of change. Leo season, partial Aquarius lunar eclipse, Sun, Mars, Jupiter-Pluto square grand finale and solar eclipse (they call this one life altering, uh-oh) and Mercury going retrograde. We’ll be sure to feel all the feels this month. Let’s break it down and see how we can make it through. Let’s go!

The sun sign: Oh you courageous Leo

Our favorite sun sign is up, the ever-courageous Leo until August 22 and to sweeten the ride, fearless Mars is alongside all month. Ready to roar with a August 21 total solar eclipse in a very rare Leo new moon that can be described as bold, self-expression, and stunning in what it will reveal. Karma calls leadership. Step up or ship out. The sun sign Leo is described as fierce and with that solar eclipse in it’s sign, plus that second new moon (usually only one per sign) you will feel that times a thousand. You’d do good to replace ego-driven-anything with true heroism. Do good for your people.

Hi Aquarius & lunar eclipse

There is lots of good in Aquarius truthful, curious, affectionate, frank and oh-so-imaginative. With all positive there must be not-so-positive also and that can be unpredictable, detachment tendencies and the ‘go off-track’ mindset. Hermit crab?

So in the midst of this, on Monday August 7th Aquarius brings us a partial lunar eclipse. And along with it comes the revealing need to come together around issues that affect you. Eclipses bring inevitable changes and turning points, pushing us off the fence if we’ve been wishy-washy and demanding that we take a stand. Watch out for this one as feelings of resentment will be hard to swallow during this time.

Retrograde #1: Uranus (soften up)

Uranus retrogrades equal a choose your battle scenario. This already happened on August 2nd and occurred in Aries. It’s an annual thing for Uranus and he’s napping until January 2nd. So be it. Uranus usually asks to tone things down, ain’t no edgy behavior getting you anywhere right now. Choose your battles wisely, it may be all too easy be get the ‘rebel without cause stamp’. I’m a Gemini, so rebelling might as well be my damn middle-name. I always have to watch out for this one. I usually choose to roll my eyes instead and put it off. I’m really good at rolling my eyes.

Retrograde #2: MERCURY TA-DA in Virgo

Mercury, the ruler of travel, technology, and communication, also retrogrades from August 12th to September 5th, because we obviously don’t already have enough to deal with. It’s shadow started on July 24th and we’ve been feeling it. Mercury in Virgo that is analytical and critical will ensure that if you choose to dish out some criticism you’ll get it right back. Do yourself a big favor and do it sparingly if you must. Leave it out if you can. Remember what I said up top for Uranus in retrograde, roll your eyes instead, it’ll save yourself a lot this month.

Sun enters Virgo on August 22nd, and that Virgo is also ruled by mercury (and so am I as Gemini), some of the best, strongest, most fearless, kind and loyal people I know are Leo/Virgo cusp’s and it is the sign of ‘taking care of yourself’ so use this retrograde to research a healthy lifestyle. Don’t implement anything crazy though. It won’t last, it just won’t. It’s Mercury in retrograde. You’ll start something new and you’ll have stopped following along by the time it’s mid September. That’s just how it is. Mercury is reflective, watch your spending too, keep that Platinum Amex in your wally.

Digital technology is about as unstable as it will be, as both Uranus and Mercury messing with technology. Strengthen your sensitive data passwords, watch the email ‘reply all’ button because you just know you want to be snarky when you really shouldn’t.

Umm… Jupiter-Pluto Square equals power struggle

August 4th serves up the third and final Jupiter-Pluto square, it’s first one happened back in November 2016, second one on March 30th 2017. The worldly-Jupiter is in relationship-Libra and shadowy-Pluto is in hierarchy-ruler-Capricorn. Perfect and thank you very much.

Sometimes I wish that all I knew about ‘Jupiter’ would be the 1950’s and real-time town in Florida so sweetly described in American Horror Story . Ugh. But there is the planet Jupiter, the fifth planet out from the Sun, two and a half times more massive than all the other planets in the solar system combined. Let’s call Jupiter a force and we’ll capture it’s power about halfway.

So basically we’ll be busy sorting through important dynamics, figuring out how to balance control and compromise. CONTROL AND COMPROMISE, most people only know the one but not the other. We would do good ensuring to brush up on the fact that there is no control without compromise and not the other way around. Investigate for yourself also though, are you giving your power away to be liked or to keep the peace? Again, resentment isn’t good for anybody this month.

Squares have a bad reputation, and so do retrogrades. Because they create conflicts.

But they create conflicts that are designed to help us evolve.

“Do not claim you want to grow and then run away the minute you feel growing pains.” -Bossbabe on Pinterest

When it takes a crisis situation or severe discomfort before we snap out of denial and take action. So maybe you need to speak up, or open up and be vulnerable with someone. Stagnant patterns are ready to burst. Balloon + needle = burst. Let’s go!

Reward for what we’ve been through: The Saturn retrograde is over

Controlling and oh-so-pushy Saturn ends its four-month retrograde in the ever-adventurous Sagittarius on August 25th. This retrograde will help our visionary plans to finally get un-stuck and move ahead. This is the time to see things through to completion! Just do it, ain’t no more Saturn in the way to mess you up!

Remember that through all this, through all the suggestions and thoughts of uh-oh what is going to happen, that your life is made by you. It’s how you let it affect you and what you make of it!

Thank you so much for reading! Cheerio!
*Pictures taken on the one and only, Carmel-by-the-Sea, California – Statebeach. #CaliforniaPicturesque #Blessed

In the past I had repeated the above saying freely and frequently. I’ve said it to myself and to others in hopes to make us feel better, and truly I now know that when I referred to bad things, I actually meant unfortunate things. Like a missed opportunity or a business decision that turned out less successful than one thought.

I hadn’t have to overcome the death of a loved one ever since my beloved great grandmother passed away in late 1997 and my grandfather, her son, followed her in mid 1998. Though my great grandmother had reached an old age, my grandfather passed away a few months before his 60th birthday. He was very ill and because I was young at that time my family tried to keep the pain away from me. I dealt with their deaths the way thirteen year olds deal with death, I cried. But back then, death to me never meant they were gone, it only meant they were not physically here. I believed in that and that gave me comfort, realizing that for my parents or my grandmother, or even friends of my grandfather that was not easily the case. Because they were adults, and as such, your heart knows more and comfort is not as easily found.

I know that we never get over great losses, we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder creatures.

When I recently lost my father unexpectedly, I missed that comfort that I was able to provide myself as a child. Even though I believe in spirits and angels, with all it’s bells and whistles, I didn’t want my father to be away. I want him to be right here answering the phone in the mornings when I call, I want him to send me hunting pictures over WhatsApp and I want to think about the possible day I get married and how he’d walk me down the aisle.

When I moved away from home at age 18, I always cringed of the possible nightmare situation. A family emergancy. Accidents. Illness and death. I remember asking myself what I’d do in that very situation when living in Austria, Switzerland or Italy being 12 hours by car away. What if there was a close call, a life threatening situation that I had to be home immediately or as soon as possible. I found comfort in printing out the regular plane schedules. There were hourly flights from Innsbruck, Milan, Zurich or Lausanne to my hometown or close by. I kept those schedules in my bag with me, every day. The World Wide Web was contained to the computer and not as available as today. Those schedules were like gold to me.

Moving to California in 2008, I flew from Berlin over Zurich to San Francisco. I had a complete panic attack in the Zurich airport because I suddenly realized that, over all the excitement to move to the U.S., I had not thought about my safety net yet. How would I get home in case of emergancy? I was going to be 9000 miles away. I stalled on the jetway immediately before boarding the plane and I was about to head back to the gate when I felt a gentle push on my back. It was my dad who was flying with me to California. He knew me, he knew my fear and he softly said that good things happen to good people and that everything will be ok.

9 years later I found myself on a plane headed to Germany as my dad passed away the day before and the entire flight I thought about how not only good things happen to good people- but that bad things happen to good people too. All of the time and all over the world.

I went home to stay with my mom as we started to arrange things, we cried. A lot. We laughed too and we looked at pictures and we celebrated my dad’s life and who he was, what he had accomplished.

One morning while still back home; I woke up and took my medical-term savvy self to the hospital with the utter need to understand what had happened. The doctor who treated him, saw me and explained how with sudden cardiac death, reanimation is impossible 95% of the time, as it is not just a heart attack where a stent or bypass would help. It is an unfortunate medical incident where your chances of leaving the hospital alive are almost zero. Towards the end of the conversation she said that sometimes bad things happen to good people, as she patted dry a tear on her cheek.

It was that very moment when I started to realize what grief is, what it feels like and how to process it. I am a somewhat analytical person. I needed to know what exactly happened to start processing.

“Grief is a game of feeling the weakest you have ever felt, morphing into the strongest person you ever became” – Wingate Lane

Why do bad things happen to good people? How do you make sense of suffering in such situation, in any situation really, where grief is all that is left.

“Pain is the price we pay for being alive.”

“Dead cells can’t feel pain; they cannot feel anything. When we understand that, our question will change from,’Why do we have to feel pain?’ to ‘What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering?'” – Harold S. Kushner

Processing grief combined with time and selfcare gives us the opportunity to make breathing easier so we can take a step forward. A little step forward, but a step nonetheless.

It’s ok to feel heartbreak. And I never truly understood what it meant to go one day at a time. You only know when you have to go one day at a time. Sometimes I only go a half day at a time. And that is ok as well.

Though it is painful to know that those people we love so dearly are not physically here, they are always with us. A friend told me that they may even be closer to our heart as they uplift us.

They were part in who we were, they live on in who we are and who we yet will be and it’s ok to find comfort in that.

We can think of them, we can talk to them and we can cherish them. Everyday. In public or in private. Verbally or written. By thoughts or by actions.

“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.” -Charlie Brown to Snoopy

I have been a night owl since I can remember. Even when younger, I absolutely loved staying up late, linger around my room and just be. And ‘lingering’ meant getting stuff done, I’d sometimes re-orient the furniture in my room, by myself, at the the age of 12 – all during the late evening hours. I appreciated the quiet when everyone else was sleeping. It was my absolute favorite thing and I was able to pull it off quiet long growing up actually, definitely through high school and university (because who needs sleep anyhow) and even when I started working, I ended up in the late(r) shifts- that no one wanted to work- because they had a different lifestyle.

But times change, people grow and starting to work in management, I learned it is frowned upon to get to work at 10am. It’s reviewed as not being on top of things, or as lollygagging. And that really is too bad. I’m pretty confident to know I can influence change, but I also have enough perspective to know that I won’t be the one changing the face of the hospitality industry anytime soon.

So the day came, I needed to change this lifestyle up, and I did. Though I am absolutely convinced that the reason I started getting Botox injections in my mid-twenties was because I frowned so much while getting up early that I formed pre-mature wrinkles on my forehead, I disliked it just so much. (#RealTalk)

Only a couple month ago I started to make peace with this change in lifestyle, after realizing that after all those years; that A) I have got to stop frowning so much and B) you have to make the best out of every situation. Let’s go!

Here is how I did it:

1. Find your reason why

It’s like with everything else in life, find your why and you’ll find a way! As you may think my why was keeping up my perception of being a good working manager in the hospitality industry it was actually the fact that I wanted to get back in the gym and the only way I could was by making it there, well, before 6am!

2. Plan ahead and do the legwork

Bottom line is that if I do not prep my gym bag the night before, I will probably not going to be able to get up just early enough to do it in the morning. You have to take time to plan ahead and do it the night before. If you can remove your make up, you also can pack your gym bag.

But doing the legwork of changing a lifestyle from night owl to early riser-ish, also means that you need to get to bed earlier. 5:00am comes around the corner real fast if you just fell asleep at 1:30am. If you can’t fall asleep earlier then try some night-time sleep tea (obviously you already know to stay away from over-the-counter-or-otherwise sleep aids; they are really tough to get off of, stick to the naturals), after a few days getting up early you’ll surely be a lot more tired at night naturally.

3. Do it and stick with it for a week; then review and reconsider

You want to get up at 5:00am to hit the gym before 6? When that alarm goes off, just get up. I snooze sometimes; I really try not to though. Just get up and do it. Do it for one week and I promise you it’ll be easier day by day.

And?

After a few days, the amazing things start to happen, like, I really love getting my workout done in the AM. It makes me feel so accomplished. In fact it makes me feel so accomplished that when I get to work at 8:30am my day is so much better already. Checking a task off the list.

Though, if you’ve done it for a week and you don’t love it, don’t be afraid to cut it back out and file it under ‘been there-done that’. No regrets. That’s what reconsideration is for.
Thank you so much for reading and stay motivated!

This post has been a long time coming, much longer than this blog exists. Which seems to not be a very strong statement as this blog is a new part of my life.
Though long means longer than my current strep throat infection and the quarter-final loss of my favorite soccer team, Bayern Munich, in the champions league today.

When you’re stuck in a rut to the point where you experience setbacks because you are unable to free yourself from the circle you’re in. That is when you head to Pinterest, get motivated, set goals and go for it. Right?

Sometimes yes, and that has worked for me several times and you may exchange Pinterest for pep talks, crazy morning routines (looking at you bee pollen power smoothie) or audiobook’s freely.

Pinterest is a no brainer, pep talks (especially the ones I give myself) are more priceless than any of the above options when it’s real talk. And well, audiobooks have had a place in my heart always.

What though if you browsed the internet, pep talked it up and listened to the Roxy Jacenko story back and forth, you make a plan but you’re not strong enough to break through the glass sealing?

The mind is over the matter and the mind is stuck. At a point where years pass you by for instance on reaching this one goal, you know the one. The one you were looking to reach years back, and you just haven’t. If you’re like me this will haunt you until one of two things happen, you either struggle and push until you make it happen or you let it go.

Letting it go can sometimes take years and just because you led it go once does not mean you forget about it forever. It’s the harder decision to make. Because then you reached a point where you need to ask what to tell yourself when you feel behind in life.

1. Don’t do the “Everyone has their life figured out but me” thing

This one, of them all, is the most dangerous. Because we compeare ourselves to people who are living a different life. We compare to self-made-millionaires, to bloggers and YouTubers, to Instagramm sensations and movie stars. (I mean hello, River the Mini Dachshund on Instagram has 91K followers and I have 365-without-a-k-behind-it. Hashtag Real Talk)

You have to remember, they are in fact not you! It’s glorified and it’s their job. They live a different life with different opportunities, challenges and setbacks than you. They fail, believe me, they do. We all do.

What you need here is reassurance. That when you boil it down, realistically, how many people in your inner social circle are truly ahead?

Hands down, this was the most toughest and excruciating thing I had to do as an adult. There was a huge difference from be being a lot younger, super accomplished and growing consistently; and becoming more established and growing steadily. I worked in hospitality since I was 18, and I hit all the measurements before everyone else. First in this, youngest in that. A+ overall.

And then you stagnate, your output levels are considered consistent but by your own comperasen they are slower to what they were. You get opportunities based on your experience vs. on being the youngest that ever did this and that. Then you look up and next thing you know you’re no longer in your 20’s, you look at all the twenty-something-rockstars on Instagram or YouTube and you find yourself waking up in what I like to call, a devils cycle.

That’s when you need to give yourself a break. You cannot measure and assess your own life’s progress on being on track by how others grow. That includes others that you only know over social media or others that are where you were when you started your career. Times are different now.

“Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to make self care a priority. Whether that means lying in bed all day, eating comfort food, putting of homework, crying, sleeping, rescheduling plans, finding an escape through a good book, watching your favorite tv show, or doing nothing at all – give yourself permission to put your healing first. Quiet the voice telling you to do more, and today, whatever you do, let it be enough. Feel your feelings, breathe and be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can to cope and survive. Trust that it’s enough!” -Daniell Koepke via Simple Reminders on Pinterest

2. Be honest

Being honest to me, is the most ‘adulting’ trait ever. Remember when we were kids and the honest part was more leisurely interesting. Like the question if we had brushed our teeth before going to bed at night. We may have, though we also enjoyed a late night sweets snack after, so yes overall we brushed them.

While adulting though, honesty, especially with ourselfs, can take us places.

Sometimes we need to dig and feel what we don’t want to or face what we wish we could avoid. You do not want to tap out when struggle get’s real.

And even though I spent the better half of this post talking about being gentle with oneself, we also have got to be honest.

Be honest and cry after, but be honest! Feel the feeling, experience the setback, and then be gentle to yourself and bounce back. If you haven’t pressed in when a challenge came about that could have shaped your future, and you just float over and sidestep that struggle, it will haunt your future. It has always haunted mine.

“If you always only float, you won’t ever bounce back”

3. Make your own future

Decide what you like to see if your future. I’ve been obsessed with the 5:00am wake up call. Like executives all over the world get up, and they excercise, and then they drink all those amazing healthy drinks (remember the bee pollen from above? Yeah I didn’t make this one up myself).

I am not in any definition a morning person. The thought of sleeping in and waking with the daylight gives me SO MUCH JOY. Also the thought of staying up late and doing things when others slept gives me SO MUCH JOY.

I remember when I first moved to California, I worked in a spa and the Director then had me on the closing shift which meant 11:00pm to 7:30pm/5 days a week. I loved that shift. I loved getting up with the sun (ok around 7:00am, whatever), I made coffee (sans Coconut oil and Ghee back then) and I ran for 45-minutes, showered, washed my hair (WHAT?!), phoned my mom, got ready and headed to work. I worked. I got off and then still had so much time to do all sort of things. I was also never running late back in those days.

So when I re-thought my day, I thought ok, insert 5:00am walk up time and GO.

I was not successful. I failed. I failed every morning.

And it cannot be good for anyone to feel failure before starting their day.

Why didn’t it work? It took me a long time to figure out that what happened was that my life was now different. I did not only work 8 hours, I work 12. Or 14. I was coming home at 8:30pm/9:30pm every day and it took me hours to wind down. Usually falling asleep at 1:00 or 2:00am, trying to walk up at 5:00am. How? I ruined about 2 years of my life silently by feeling infuriated with myself about not being able to get up. Devils cycle.

I had to be honest with myself and stay away from all the 5:00am entrepreneurs on Instagramm to figure out what I wanted and what I needed to do to prepare for the next positive push forward in my life. You make your future!

You may have heard me or others say “Uh-oh Mercury is in retrograde again”, but what does it mean and what can the effects be?

The first full retrograde this year started its pre-shadow phase on 3/27, from earth sign Taurus and we will start feeling the effects once Mercury is in its station on 4/9 and on May 3rd Mercury will go direct in fire sign Aries.

What is a retrograde even?

A retrograde simply is a period of time of which planets (not just Mercury, Mars and Venus do it too, all in April for that matter) appear to go backwards against the stars in the sky. This usually occurs 3 or 4 times a year.

Why does it happen?

Mercury’s orbit is closest to the sun, so it completes its orbit is about 88 days, compered to the earth 365 days. As a result of that, we first experience Mercury moving forward as it passes the earth on our side of the sun, and once its gone past – it slows down and begins to move backwards as it races along on the farther side of the sun from our perspective.

And the effects?

Mercury makes things not settle. There are plenty of people out there who will tell you not to sign anything during Mercury retrograde, no contracts, no leases, don’t start anything new. Try not to book travel. I am definitely one of those people. Mercury rules communication and travel.

HOWEVER, I am a believer in knowing what to expect will make you be proactive and aware. It’s where you put your intention that will become reality. Best foot forward.

The take away!

Retrograde simply means to take time to review, reconsider, rethink and return for more info!

“When Mercury is in retrograde, it’s the perfect time to restructure thought and belief patterns that no longer serve you. Ask yourself how you can re-write your story.”