Ultimate Valentine experience? Kipp doesn’t think so

It should come as no surprise that Kipp, with its cynical mind and bitter heart, is no fan of the lovey-dovey, coochy-coo-fest that is Valentine’s Day. Illogical Hallmark rhymes, unattainable romantic expectations from the Missus, silly red ties—do we really need to go on? That’s why the story “Dubai hotel offers ‘ultimate Valentine’s Day experience’ for Dh50,000” got a typically Kippish snort of laughter out of us.

Emirates 24|7 reports that for the modest fee, a special couple can get a ‘crash course in luxury love’ (whatever that is supposed to mean) from Dubai’s InterContinental hotel. So what does Dh50,000 get you? Nothing short of the tackiest expression of ‘love’, we promise you.

After you are picked up from your doorstep in a limo (have fun maneuvering Deira traffic in a stretch), you are driven down to the Deira pier (yes the very same romantic pier that daily cargo is loaded from), after which you board a boat and approach the hotel (on the very long ride that only the ‘massive’ Dubai Creek can promise) which has (if this all wasn’t enough) “your name and hers written in lights on the facade of the InterContinental hotel.”

Hand us a paper bag, this is all too much.

Oh, but it isn’t for Intercontinental, apparently. Upon reaching the hotel the couple will enjoy a spa treatment, a 1001 Roses meal (again, whatever that is), an overnight stay at the hotel’s suite and a champagne breakfast.