Author's infos

Introduction:

Bad things, good things and weird things. This is how she discovers who she really is.

Wish you like reading it and comments are really welcome.
(Special thanks to Arizona1664 for helping me with the english stuff =*)
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It wasn't the way I expected it to be, but I don't regret it. Sometimes things happen for a reason, good things and bad things. Sometimes they just have to happen, both of them, so you can discover who you really are.

Getting older is hard. At first you are obsessed with the first kiss, and then you're obsessed with the first time. But what happens when your friends, all of them the same age as you - 16 – have already had sex and talk insistently about blowjobs, styles, orgasms and stuff? At first you think "Damn it, I'm surrounded by whores!" But soon after that you feel out of place. You have to be there, talking about experiences you had, and for that you have to be experienced. So my next step was to find a guy to initiate me. To make me like the others and, for a girl like me, that was hard to obtain.

Something in me, maybe something my parents did to me while I grew up made me a different person. My dad a Major in the army and my mother a judge... My life had been ruled and watched until I got to high school, but when I obtained freedom I was already too "damaged" to enjoy it.

I couldn't stand boys of my own age. They looked so... Stupid... But it didn't stop me. I knew what I wanted.

Soon, just as we entered vacations, I dated a boy named Paul. He was a tall, slim guy, with brown hair and had the most serious look I could find.

He seemed really surprised with the clear chance he had with me, as if he wasn't expecting a chance like that to fall into his lap that way. Everybody used to tell me I was pretty, everybody. Short (5'2" 1/2), moody and a true brainiac, but pretty. What always made them think that I was supposed to be the first to share a bed with someone, thanks to the number of guys who already asked me out. But it wasn't that way.

I was... weird. I couldn't even masturbate properly. The description my friends gave of an orgasm simply didn't match with anything I'd ever experienced.

One day I came to a friend crying, asking her if I was frigid. She said I wasn't frigid, I was just stupid. That's why I love my friends you know...

Anyway, we'd been together for a while, a week I guess, and I never hid where I wanted our relationship to go. Kissing and groping were more than common, and I let him do whatever he wanted, but it didn't help. He was too respectful and I was too polite. He always kept saying sweet things, caressing, taking care of me. And eventually I started to feel bored. Even the good feeling I had while he was touching me was disappearing. All my friends were asking how was it to have sex with Paul, he was one of the most handsome guys in our class after all, and I lied, saying that we were waiting for a special moment. I couldn't let them know that he didn't even turn me on.

That's when it happened. Paul had got his house to himself at the weekend and asked me to sleep with him. A big part of me, the one who accepted, wanted to go on with that and carry on. But the other part was yelling at me "Good girl! Let this bozo pop your cherry!"

And that was the predominant part when I ran away from him, leaving him half naked in that bed.

It was the weirdest moment of my life, running from a guy that, I knew, was the best option for me, like he was some kind of monster. He would never forgive me and I'd probably never forgive myself. It happened that I took my car and I drove away through the night with no destination in mind.

More than two hours after hitting the highway I had the best (worst) idea of the night. In my head I wanted desperately to do something stupid, something that could make me think more of what I was doing than what I just did. And there was a bar next to the road so I decided to make a stop, use some charm to get a beer even being underage, and drive...drinking and listening to some melodramatic music to fit my mood, just like I saw in some movies. Stupid.

But just the walk to the bar brought me a bad feeling. It was in the middle of nowhere and had a bunch of weird cars and motorcycles parked near, but "what the hell!" I thought... I said that I was stupid?

A sour smell mixed with tobacco filled my nostrils as I opened the door. The place was filled with the strangest mix of people I had ever seen. Several of them looked at me, men and women, and I automatically felt intimidated, but I gathered courage and breath and moved on, hearing the sound of a big discussion going on while crossing to the bartender, as if two gangs were starting a fight right there.

But no one seemed to care. So I wouldn't too. The man behind the counter was a paunchy guy with a moustache, completely tattooed, who stood right in front of me soon as the guys at the bar moved to let me through.

"Hey... Uh... I want two beers please." I said trying to sound more confident I could.

It wasn't working. He just grinned at me, put his elbows at the counter and spoke playfully.

"Sure, Miss. Don't you want some cigarettes too?" The guys surrounding us laughed loudly, making people near pay even more attention to me. They all leaned toward me, as if trying to sense my smell, to get closer, to see through my clothes. What was I thinking when I decided to enter this place? I was dressed the best I could! I thought I was getting my first time today! Perfume, make up, clothing, hair... Everything at their most, and I'm in the middle of a rape zone... Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I just turned around and headed to the exit. It looked like everyone was looking maliciously at me, like they were hunting dogs and I was a baby's rubber duck about to be bitten to pieces. So just after I got through the door I heard someone following me. Three guys were chasing me to my car. I started to run, but four more guys appeared from nowhere, like they were waiting for me near the car. The others followed me very fast and surrounded me. They seemed like marginal who just left jail, licking their lips and whistling at me.

"Look at this blondie! Isn't she a nice and sweet little cunt?" I felt my whole body shiver. They weren't letting me go.

But the Bar's door opened again and three guys came out, wearing spiked leather jackets and jeans, no less frightening at all.

"Hey, Dick! Our business isn't over." Said the fat one, with a long brown beard, unfastening the thick chain he used like a belt, twirling it in the air and slamming it in the face of the bald punk who was talking to me.

The guy fell holding his face and screaming like an animal, I leaned down with hands on my head while they rushed against each other. Seven against three, I thought those last guys were screwed. But a lot of things happened too fast.

First I heard someone screaming "Wait!"

Second, the same man who screamed, a friend of the bearded guy, ran toward me, grabbed me and fell with me into the dirty floor.

Then I yelled at him to let me go just before the sound of a machinegun shut me up.

I thought it would never end. The enormous guy was holding me down, keeping me beneath him, while those punks who followed me were being completely slaughtered by the tiny man standing the right side of the bearded guy.

And then it stopped. An incredible silence took place until beard guy said:

"Owen, get the girl and her car and follow us! Be quick!" He said heading to the bikes and my blood froze in my veins.

The huge guy, Owen, lifted me up with one arm and threw me up his shoulder like my 110lbs were nothing to him. He picked my keys from the ground, they must have fallen when I fell, and ran to my car.

I tried to fight, but it was worthless, he just opened the door and threw me at the passenger's seat. I tried immediately to open the door on my side, but he just yelled at me with a cold voice "Don't even think about it!". His voice was so hoarse, so deep and so frightening that I curled myself like a ball in the seat and sat quiet while he turned the key in the ignition and left with my car at full speed.

We were following the motorcycles for a while when I tried to argue with him.

"Please, let me go, I swear I'll not say anything to the cops!"

He looked at me angrily and didn't answer. So I tried again.

"Please, I swear, just let me go!" I said with a choked voice.

He looked at me again, while the car was reaching something like 60 or 70 miles per hour, and looked back at the road, saying nothing. I couldn't hold it and started crying. In my head it was clear that they were going to use me like a sex toy or worse, then they would probably kill me in a brutal manner. I was desperate.

Then I felt the car slowing down a bit, and his hand reached my shoulder, making me squirm instantly. He retracted his huge hand.

"Calm down." He said, putting his hand in my shoulder again.

Then I looked to him and begged again "Please, just let me go!".

"I can't do that." He answered, and I kept crying.

A while passed, I was crying so much that I was choking. So he spoke again.

"Listen, let's make a deal. I'll give you..." He shoved his hand in one of his leather jacket's pockets and showed me a pill. "...This. You swallow it and I swear I'll not let anyone touch you."

"Never!" I yelled.

"Girl, just listen to me. I have a gun in my pocket, I could do anything I wanted to you. But I'm promising you, you swallow it and I'll not let them take turns with you." He said calmly.

"Oh m-my God, oh my G-God..." I took the pill from his hand, it was tiny and yellow, didn't look like medicine. He didn't grin or anything else, he just alternated between looking at me and the road.

And I swallowed. He just kept looking at me every time he could, accelerating the car fast as he could - the motorcycles had vanished because he had slowed down to talk to me.

In a matter of four or five minutes I started feeling really weird. I wasn't worried about what was going to happen to me anymore and I was feeling pretty hot.

The road was dark and the lights were passing slowly, like they were melting. I was drugged and I knew that, so I tried to focus on him.

He looked at me with a playful grin on his face, and for the first time I realized what a handsome man he was, a rough but handsome man, with those hazel eyes and dark brown hair, and that unshaven manly face. I would guess he was in his early thirties and was a really muscular man, really intimidating in that spiked leather jacket, and he had something like a tribal tattoo escaping from the collar of the shirt, up the neck.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as he saw me completely relaxed at the passenger's seat.

"I'm.. Nothing." I said, feeling my voice sounding weird, like I was doped.

"Are you really going to help me?" I asked, feeling I was going to cry again.

"I will. I wasn't lying. They will not touch you, give you my word, Sammy." He said in such a convincing tone that made me relax my body even more and I just kept starring at him.

"So, how old are you?" He asked, looking intensely at me, then to the road.

"I'm sixteen... Did it last month... Why do you keep looking at me this way?"

"Cause you are hot. And these blue eyes, whoa..." He said with eyes fixed on the road.

"And you were already thinking about it when you took me out of the cross- fire?" I asked, feeling my tongue even more loose. I was sounding like a drunk.

"No. I was just taking an innocent girl out of harm." He said seriously, changing tone, like he was pissed about what happened.

"So I'm hot... Don't you think I'm too young for you?" I asked.

"It depends on you. But what really intrigues me is what you were doing in that bar." He asked looking at me again and putting his hand in my thigh. I automatically put my hand over his, to take it off, but I felt his warmth on my leg, it felt great, so i left it there and he started to caress my leg, up and down, getting his fingers close to my groin sometimes, under the edge of my halter dress... And the weird thing was: it didn't bother me at all.

So I told him the whole story, even some details, like the way I couldn't be with boys my age, my virginity, everything, while gasping from having his hand massaging my inner thigh and his fingers so close to my panties... It felt amazing to share all of it with someone else. And to my surprise he listened like he was really getting my point. But the good moment didn't last, cause he saw the bikes parked with a lot of other bikers and vans in some kind of abandoned parking lot and pulled in.

He left, walked around the car and opened my door "Follow my lead, no matter what they say and don't struggle no matter what I do, ok?" He instructed while pulling me out of the car.

I heard excited shouts and screams, and whistles as he pulled me out of the car. There were many, almost twenty, and I could not even keep myself standing without Owen supporting me.

They were in circle waiting for him to approach with me. A lot of them tried to reach me as we were passing, but Owen was covering me. I should have been panicking, but I wasn't.

When he stopped we were less than four steps from the beard guy, who immediately started talking, like he was their leader.

"And that's Owen with our night meal! Good job buddy!" He said in a proud tone "Pussy! That's how we celebrate the death of those unfortunate pigs! Bring her on, Owen!" And the men howled like jackals.

But Owen didn't move, holding me through my back and crossing his arms just beneath my breasts.

"I'm not sharing this one, Jeff." He said, followed by a simultaneous and loud "What!?!" yelled by the other men.

And as the furious men were getting close, Jeff stopped them. "Wait! Get tha fuck out you crazy mothafuckers!" And when they were really close to us they stopped and obeyed beard guy, leaving us alone.

"What are you talking about, Owen?" Asked Jeff.

"I know this girl, Jeff. It's the little sister of an old buddy." He said holding me tighter, cupping my breasts with his arms, while I tried to look up to him.

"That's why you drugged her?" He asked sarcastically.

"Don't be fooled by this angel face, she's a junkie. That's what she was doing at the bar, looking for some dope." He said shaking me in his arms, to prove that I was really high. And I had no reaction, damn, I was really high.

"So you'll let the little bitch go, you son of a bitch!?" Jeff asked playfully, some other laughed as well, but some were still looking at me like I was a piece of meat ready to turn into barbecue.

"No. This one is mine, you owe me one, it's time to pay." Owen said seriously.

Jeff took some moments thinking, then shrugged.

"Ok, you crazy son of a bitch, there's a van with a cushion there." He said, then shouted "Now you know buddies, keep your sisters away from this bastard!" More laughing and finally they let us go.

Owen kept carrying me, leading me to the vans. When he found a dark gray one he opened its door and there was actually a mattress.

He laid me there, entered and closed the rolling door. Then he turned the lights on so we could see each other and I just lay on in the mattress while he came and almost laid on top of me.

"See, I kept my promise, nobody touched you." He said running his hand over my belly.

"I see. But will you really rape me like that?" I asked him calmly, but feeling my eyes tearing.

"It will only be a rape if you think of it as one..." He said rolling the straps of my dress down my shoulders and then pulling down my top, exposing my 33B breasts -I could see him looking really satisfied about them. Almost surprised by their shape... Or probably he liked the look, my pink areolas, my silky white skin...

"Owen... You're a nice guy, I'm a virgin, please don't do this..." I said still calmly, thanks to the drug.

"This is just your fucking conscience saying shit. I bet your body thinks the opposite" He said massaging my breasts and making me gasp. "Let's make a bet. I'm pretty sure you're completely wet down there. If you're not, I'll let you go. But if you are..." He sucked my left nipple intensely, and this new feeling made me moan instantly. "I'm gonna fuck your brains out."

I just needed to rub my thighs against each other to feel myself completely wet. I already knew that there was nothing I could do when one of his hands groped my right thigh and slid up it slowly until it reached my inner thighs, then my panties, where he tightened his grip and massaged my pussy over my underwear. Then he brought his fingers near to my face just to see his shining wet fingers.

He grabbed my waist and turned me over my belly, unzipping my dress and pulling it down. And I was just letting him do it, like I was some kind of doll, but there wasn't much I could do. Even the fabric of the mattress was tingling in my skin. I couldn't lie to myself that way, I was loving it, I was loving his rough and huge hand passing over my body. Then he bent my knees, lifting my arse up to the air, pulled my panties down then ripped them off. I felt his fingers spreading me apart a little and I cried out as his big tongue reached my pristine pussy.

"Aaaaaaaooooaahhhh!" I groaned as I felt his tongue massaging my insides and my clit. It was overwhelming. I hooked my fingers tightly in the cushion, but he stopped.

"Damn, you taste good. Even your smell... This perfect pink pussy... Fuck, you're from a completely different level." And he went back to my cunt, making me groan hard again. I could feel my pussy pulsating and I pressed my crotch against his face harder. His tongue was going in and out just the sufficient to reach my hymen, but it was so big for me that it was reaching my clit as well. I was breathing harder and deeper every second and, when he embraced my thighs and used his finger to massage my clit, it was enough for me.

I squirmed like I was having spasms, with him holding me down, and when my struggling was too much he lifted me, leaving my torso on the mattress but locking on to my legs, pinning my thighs and licking faster and deeper. I could feel his tongue was hurtfully forcing against my hymen but it was nothing compared to the contractions and the pleasure I was feeling. Until a point when I felt myself explode.

"Ohh myy Gooooood! Auurrrgh!" I groaned from the bottom of my soul. I was orgasming and I knew that. And he kept the movement, making me squirm and moan even more, my fingers trying to rip the fabric of the mattress as they clenched tight. It kept going, that unbearable feeling beaming through my entire body, something agonizing but absurdly good. I could feel my juices rolling down my legs and through his arms. My mouth turned into an "O" and I was breathing and gasping harder and harder and I tried to tell him to stop, to tell him that I couldn't stand it anymore, but I couldn't, and so almost minutes passed until he let me go, unfolding my knees and lying me on the mattress trembling and completely exhausted.

Then he lay beside me, laughing, one finger playing with a thin line of drool running down the corner of my mouth. "Your voice is really beautiful to hear, but when you're cumming it is incomparable." I heard him say, but I could barely answer, I was completely numb. My eyes were just open enough to see him playing with me, touching every single part of me.

"Damn, look at these legs..." He said caressing them, then suddenly he turned me on my back again and got on top of me, spreading my legs and crossing them behind his back, I heard a zipper opening and instantly something hard rubbing on my tiny, wet and supersensitive slit.

"My turn to have fun. Hold tough, Sammy" He said, and I couldn't really understand what he meant, as I was too dizzy, but at the moment I felt him pressing against my pussy I kinda woke up, but I didn't scream, ask him to stop or anything, I just passed my arms around his neck and pressed my thighs firmly in his waist and felt his first attempt to enter me.

"Hhmmph..." I moaned in pain and he looked at me with a smile in his face.

"Now, that's a fucking nice girl." He said getting ready to force himself in me again.

"Can you kiss me before... doing it? At least once, please?" I asked him. I couldn't figure why I asked that. Maybe It was too weird, having someone I barely knew taking my virginity and wanted it to be some kind of personal thing or I just wanted to have some showing of affection before handing myself to him that way. Could I be more stupid? The guy was a gang member who would probably kill people for fun!

But he caressed my hair, passing his hand over my sweaty fringe and then kissed me. And it was intense, not some kid's kiss, a man's kiss. It was like he wanted to get inside me at any cost, and with a fierce movement of his hips, he was.

I felt a stinging pain, crying inside his mouth while he continued to kiss me. I felt myself stretching to make room for something big that filled me completely, making me feel like I was so full inside that I could rip open at any time.

He broke the kiss and lay looking at me, while I felt tears rolling down my cheeks "It hurts, Owen. It huuurts..." I cried softly.

"I'm not moving yet, I'll let you stretch enough, get used to it. I'm kinda big." He said. And taking into consideration the size of his body and the pain I was feeling, I believed him, it would be enormous.

It was weird, a much older guy I've never known on top of me, inside me, making me feel one of the worst pains I felt in my entire life and I felt so... Happy.... So complete.

He kept looking into my eyes, while I was controlling myself to stop crying.

"Good girl..." He said caressing my cheeks and wiping my tears. "I'm gonna start moving, and I'll be sincere, once I start moving I'll be rough on you, got it?"

It took me a moment to understand that he was going to hurt me and was warning me that he wasn't going to stop no matter what. But he was being so nice to me until now that it didn't matter. I nodded, feeling my lower lip tremble and hid my face in his neck.

When he started moving the little that had stopped hurting returned, making me groan loud. I felt him withdrawing his dick up to its head, then pushing it back in slowly, and repeated it faster and faster until he was humping me frantically. My groaning following the rhythm of his thrusts.

"Look at me." He asked, and I did. His eyes fixed in mine while he was hammering his member inside me. It was burning, but the feeling of myself melting around him was possessing me. He was delighting with the painful but pleasured look I had on my face and the way I was groaning. Owen was loving the way he was inflicting his will upon me, I could feel that. And I also loved it. At that moment I couldn't figure if it was the drug, if it was me, but I would do or let him do anything he wanted.

When my groans indicated I wasn't suffering anymore, he prolonged his thrusts, reaching further into me, making me react again when I felt him in the deepest part of me.

"A-argh! O-Owen! You aa-re too d-deep..." I said through gritting teeth.

"You are too small. You have to get used to big things inside you." And he humped me even more roughly.

"Augh! Auurrgh! Agh!" I closed my eyes tight and tried my best to deal with that massive intrusion in my lady parts but he shouted at me.

"Don't close your eyes! Look at me, Sammy!" He yelled at me and I almost panicked, feeling myself getting even tighter around him. "Good girl..." He kissed me, giving soft bites in my lips and my neck, then held a handful of my hair and yanked my head back fiercely, then fucked me stronger and rougher than ever.

I wasn't groaning anymore, I was screaming, feeling my insides stretching and burning and my pussy twitching frantically again. He was groaning loud with me, and I felt him pulsating inside me, then he exploded in a lot of jolts, spilling his hot liquid inside me. Flooding me with his seed.

And I came again...

Laying beneath him, trembling, I felt him relax over me, withdrawing his member and making me gasp in relief. He heard it and looked at me, his expression was pure satisfaction. He kissed me again, massaging my thighs now loose by his sides.

I was feeling terribly tired, and when he started rubbing my back with his rough hands I almost instantly fell asleep.

When I woke up I was in my car, dressed and covered by his jacket. He was driving and I could recognize my own neighborhood. I stared at him in surprise.

"What? Your address was in your wallet. I figured you wouldn't be able to drive... And you really shouldn't stay in the camp, so I brought you home." He said looking at me with that incredibly manly face.

"Thanks..." I mumbled. He reached over and caressed my cheek.

Soon I pointed out my house to him, which made him whistle, astonished. It was a almost a mansion, with a great garden and a three car garage.

"Well, you're home, safe and sound." He said, leaving the car and I did the same, but my legs weren't working as I expected and he had to rush and support me, almost carrying me to the door.

"Yes... I'm home." I said completely confused by the end of that incredibly weird night. It felt like some crazy dream. And I was already missing Owen and all that crazy stuff that happened tonight, I could still feel my wetness getting cold in the night air. No panties, remember? So, when I was collecting my breath to talk to him about what happened this night... He interrupted.

"Listen... I need your car to get back home. Can I borrow it and bring it to you tomorrow?" Owen asked while holding my waist.

"Oh.. Ok. See you tomorrow then..." I said, thinking millions of things at the same time.

"Ok. I'll pick you up at school. Bye." He held my neck with a hand and threw me an extremely intense kiss, while his other hand tightened me against his huge body, then he left me there, trembling.

"... See you tomorrow..." I mumbled to myself. Was I in love with a gang member?