Here’s Jesse Metcalfe of the new Dallas (that hurt to type) showing love for his piece by rolling around with her on a mound of grass, hobo skid marks, dog piss and crackhead saliva in Venice, CA yesterday afternoon. This goes without typing, but I’d hit it. Uniboob and all. Tits looking like a long loaf of warm focaccia bread. Just tell the waiter to leave the whole bottle of olive oil.

You’d hit on Jesse Calftits’ two-eyed worm chichi too. We all would. Although, it would take a little brain power to solve the puzzle titled, “How do you titty fuck a Jesse Metcalfe?” That should be a challenge on Survivor.

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