Cruise secrets: Cruise crew member reveals what staff really think about you

CRUISE ship holidays are much loved by Britons (when a deadly virus pandemic is not sweeping the planet) but what's it like for the crew on cruises? An ex cruise ship crew member has revealed what they really think when passengers leave on disembarkation day.

Cruise ship holidaymakers enjoy being looked after by crew during their trip. Passengers can relax and indulge while on the ship while the staff are hard at work. But what’s it like for the staff themselves? What do they think of these tourists?

Cruise: "In the back of your mind is a voice repeating the phrase, ‘Get off get off get off…’" (Image: Getty Images)

“Being that the job on-board is seven days a week, the window of opportunity to go shore and have some proper you time is situated between the old guests leaving and new guests arriving.

“So when the old guests are trudging down the corridor with their luggage saying goodbye to everyone, stopping and starting to make sure they have everything, in the back of your mind is a voice repeating the phrase, ‘Get off get off get off…’

“This internal mantra goes undetected for the most part and is what motivates the crew’s teamwork on these mornings.

“The quicker the crew pull together as a team and get the guests disembarked the more time we would have off that day.”

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“Holiday romances were now coming to an end with the individuals promising to stay in touch which we all know never happens.

“All this emotion up in in the air was by no means a one-off, it was weekly.

“As the weeks went by from the start of my first contract, I gradually developed a thicker skin and I began to put up an emotional brick wall.

“No longer did I get choked up whiners guests had to leave, instead, I learnt to accept that there were no goodbyes really, as there would be another 1000+ guests coming to replace them later on that day.”

In his book, Catling also revealed there’s a common joke that you should think twice about making on a cruise.

Catling wrote: “On formal night one custom is that guests will queue up around the block to meet the captain and have a photo taken with him. It’s not an obligation by any means more a compulsion.

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Cruise: "I gradually developed a thicker skin and I began to put up an emotional brick wall" (Image: Getty Images)

“They figure it’s something they may as well so just so they can say they met him or her, and also because most of them can’t wait to ask their really funny question: ‘Wait, if you’re here who’s driving the ship?’

“Which is funny the first time you hear it but once you hear it an average twenty time a cruise it wears a little thin… I made every effort to make it look as though it was one of those stories that naturally caught me off guard and incited genuine laughter but inside I would be fuming.”

Former cruise ship crew member Paul shared another example of what cruise holidaymakers should never do.

“I wish I could tell passengers not to buy any photos of themselves on board. Way too pricey!” Paul told Express.co.uk.

“Also to tell them not to play the casino slot machines. They set the payouts so low that hardly anybody wins a jackpot. And the lines can get away with it because we are in International Waters.”