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TIME TO CALL A MULLIGAN

It’s never going to end, is it? No matter who gets elected it’s gone too far, become too personal, the sides have been split too far apart. So when it’s over where is that going to leave us? Not in a good place.

Comity, collegiality, all the old ties that bind have been put to the torch in this rabbled season of Never Him/Never Her.

Listen, why can’t we just admit we let this one get away from us? There’d be no shame in that. We got caught up in the funhouse nature of the race and the debates, and before we really realized what we were doing we ended up nominating Clueless and Feckless (you code who’s who).

At least we’d be being honest with ourselves. What percentage of the population you think wouldn’t want to start over if they had a shot?

It’s like they both think they’re running for the throne. She’s thinks she’s got the lineage, and he’s got the gaudy furniture. I say put ’em in the White House together with a jar of pickles and turn ’em lose (I don’t know why pickles, it’s just a funny word). Then put that up on live TV.

I’m telling you, the world would come together like you wouldn’t believe to watch THAT reality show. There’d be no more war, no hate, only a universal feeling of warmth and utter satisfaction as those two sit there barking at one another. They’d both be heroes forever for creating such a peace.

But honest, how about we just say Uncle for this one, and start over? Obama, we need you to mind the store for two more months. That’s all. We can get this done by the normal Inauguration Day in late January. No more effin around now that we know what we don’t want.

Politically it would be like doing a hard 20-miler just to get yourself tired for the real workout, like Khalid Khannouchi used to do in his marathon training.

Besides, neither one of these two will be able to actually govern once in office. Build a consensus? Trump just came around to thinking Obama is legit. You think the smell from this campaign will wash off quick? Afraid not. They’re both coming out of this bloodied and diminished, though probably unbowed. No, we’re the ones who will suffer.

Plus, if we reset we could flip the ticket on the Libertarian Party, and put Bill Weld on the front end where he belongs, and Gary “what’s Aleppo” Johnson as his veep. Jill Stein can stay with the Green Party as she isn’t making much noise anyway.

But let’s restage this rascal while we still can. Trump’s a golfer, he would understand a mulligan, and the world would shake our hand and let out a deep collective sigh of relief. Talk about making America great again!

But the way it’s going now? I think legendary Panamanian boxer Roberto Durán had just the right phrase, “No mas.”