Adventures in family life, my vintage and thrift shop treasure hunt, sewing, creating, and living an intentional life of simplicity and joy.

November 2009

November 30, 2009

Even when everyone else seems to be seeking the newest, the latest, the most technologically advanced gifts to give or to buy for themselves, I have just always loved the look of romantic, feminine, even "old-fashioned" clothing. Perhaps that is why I love vintage stuff so much!

Here's an idea that might help minimize the stress of the holidays for you . .. . think back to what you know from your own life or people, places, and times past that you have read about. Think about the ways that people celebrated the holidays during the early days of our country. Or read about holiday celebrations during the Great Depression. Or even learn about how families celebrated the holidays during the 1940s and World War II. Or any other period of time when life might have been a bit less obsessed with qualtity of stuff = happiness.

At our house, we love to read the Little House book series. And of course, so many of us have watched that series on TV. But I am always struck by the simplicity of many aspects of their lives. Of course, Pa always had to go out hunting and hope to bring home some venison during the Long Winter. And Ma always had to bake the bread and salt the pork, and hang the squash and onions from the attic rafters. I'm not suggesting that this life was EASY! But when we read about Laura and Mary, and little Carrie playing with their corn-cob dolls and being thrilled to get a stick of peppermint candy and an orange in the Christmas stocking . ... . . well, it just makes me wonder how we got to be so focused on material possessions that we sometimes miss the really important stuff in life.

So - if you are struggling with anxiety over how you will ever provide a "nice" Christmas for your family this year . . . . remember that the holidays can be enjoyed with a little bit less "stuff," and our children can learn to appreciate even the small wonders and treasures of the holidays. They'll live through it, and they will probably even remember these days as some of the happiest they can remember, because we were more focused on each other than on the frantic, crazy, chaotic frenzy of holiday shopping.

It is OK to slow down, enjoy today, bake cookies and string popcorn for your Christmas tree, make a few hand-crafted holiday cards to send to your loved ones who are far away, or an handmade book mark for Grandma . . . . . maybe even take a break from the baking to make a sweet little holiday apron for you, your kids, your mom, your grandma, whoever!

Later this week I will be posting a FREE tutorial for making a simple holiday table runner that you can whip up in an afternoon to dress up your table in holiday style! So many fun things to do, let's not wear ourselves out stressing about things we can't change, and let's enjoy the holiday season (even if we don't have all the STUFF that we want!). You'll be glad you did ;o)

PS Here are a couple new listings of classic and vintage items in my Etsy shop, Gossamer Wings Studio. In keeping with the spirit of an old-fashioned, simple Christmas this year, I'm buying vintage whenever I can, and regifting or recycling other items. Really . . . . who needs MORE stuff???? So if you are interested in dressing up for the holidays, on a budget, and if you love old-fashioned, vintage clothing, please visit my shop! Have a wonderful Cyber Monday! Just be careful to keep it simple, silly ;o)

Happy Cyber Monday morning! I'll be posting new listings in my Etsy shop all day long, so please stop by and see what's new at Gossamer Wings Studio! Lots of fun stuff just for YOU while you are busy buying gifts for everyone else ;o) Working on a couple of FREE holiday tutorials this week,too . . . . . very busy week!

November 25, 2009

We've all heard about Imelda Marcos and her fascination with shoes. Well, lots of us have, if we're over the age of 30 ;o) and I don't remember too much about the whole story, except that here was a woman who had so many shoes that there was never going to be the possibility that she could wear them all, even if she only wore each pair one time in her entire life! Or something like that. At least, Mrs. Marcos owned thousands of pairs of shoes. Why? What is it about shoes that causes women to spend their last dime to purchase yet another pair of shoes? What is our fascination with our feet?

And when you look at the gazillions of different shoes designs, it almost makes your mind go numb. Who would think that there could be SOOOOO many angles and visions of glorious gorgeousness for something that we put on our feet, for goodness sake! I think that the original intent of shoes was simply a covering and protection for those overworked, under-appreciated little tootsies of the cave men and women. You know, animal skins sewn together with strips of tree bark, or perhaps slabs of ancient wood strapped on to those prehistoric piggies with lengths of goat hide. Who knows for sure, but we've come a very long way, baby, from those days of practical, if imperfect, footwear.

Now, I've never been much of a fashion diva, having come from a background where clothing was for the purpose of modesty, safety, and occasionally warmth. However, I've always had this "thing" for shoes. Where did that come from? So, when I began to notice that I am finding more and more beautiful vintage and "almost vintage" shoes while out and about on my treasure hunting expeditions, I started to think about my own fascination with shoes. As I was out in the studio the other day, meticulously snipping lace and stitching embellishments to my latest pair of decorated shoes, I suddenly recalled a time from long ago. It was a memory surrounding my shoes (or in this particular case, the lack thereof) that helped me connect some of the dots about my obsession with shoes.

Sometimes it is a good thing to think about who you are and how you got to be who you are . . . . . and examine some of the memories that might have triggered your little idiosyncracies. You know you have them. We all do. Kind of like the time the therapist told me, "The good news is, you're not psychotic." Whew! That was a relief! Here all along I thought I was the Wild-Eyed Wacko Woman Pretending to be Someone's Mother, when all along I'm just normal. Well, sort of. Then he said, "But the bad news is, your ARE neurotic." Uh-oh! "Now what am I going to do?" I thought. But then he cleared it right up for me: "Yep, you are neurotic, but so is everyone else!" I AM normal, after all! That was a great day in the life of this Wild-Eyed Wacko Woman Who Really IS Someone's Mother. Whether they claim me, or not. It's a done deal.

So . . . . . back to the shoe fetish thing. I remembered the time, when I was about 10 or 11, that I had this great pair of loafers. I know, that was a long time ago. Just stay with me here. You know, those beautiful brown penny loafers, with a little slot on the front where you really could slide in a penny. They had just the perfect flat heel, so they were very comfy, and the front of the loafers had this magnificent stitching all around the toes, attaching the top of the shoe to the sides. That stitching was so amazing! And I really loved those shoes! I probably really did have another pair of shoes somewhere, or I certainly could have gotten another pair at the local thrift shop for .25 or .50 . . . . but that didn't matter to me at the time. For all I could care, those penny loafers were the ONLY pair of shoes I owned.

So, every afternoon I would come home from school, take off my loafers and run around the house in my stocking-feet. Made my mom nuts, because I ruined so many pair of socks, but what's a kid supposed to do? I guesss I could have put on house slippers, like my mom did, but what the heck! I was a kid ;o) And every night, before I went to bed, I took a needle and thread, doubled up for durability of course, and stitched up those penny loafers. Because, once the original stitching wore out, the thread I was using wasn't very strong, and they would inevitably come undone throughout the course of the school day. I remember stitching up those wonderful penny loafers for a long time. Because I just LOVED those shoes!

Ever since I was a little girl, for some reason shoes have held quite a fascination for me. I wonder if it is because I didn't have many beautiful shoes when I was younger. But maybe not, because there are millions of women who have an obsession with shoes, and they've had more gorgeous shoes than they will ever wear in a lifetime of plodding through the ancient remains of prehistoric caves while wearing boots made of animal skins tied together with strips of bark . . . . and still the shoe fetish remains. What the heck is that all about, anyway? If you have any clues, I'm open to suggestions!

If you have a fascination with fun, funky, dramatic, romantic, and just generally unique shoes, please visit my Etsy shop to see my collection of gorgeously embellished vintage and "almost vintage" shoes: I promise, you won't be disappointed in all of the gorgeous shoes you will find there! Have a blessed Thanksgiving, and remember to be grateful for what you HAVE and don't let yourself focus on what you DON'T have. It's a waste of time . . . . that you could be spending on finding another pair of amazing shoes! Maybe a pair of vintage penny loafers . . . . . .

November 24, 2009

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

~ John F. Kennedy

Actions really DO speak louder than our words. Yet even those who are devoted and committed to living a life of integrity frequently "miss the mark." That's because we are not perfect, and as regular human beings, we will continue to make mistakes, stumble and fall, and take a tumble along life's journey. So, in thinking about the quote for today, I am reminded that, although we may not ever get it all down just exactly right, we still need to do our best every day to see that our actions match up pretty closely with our words. It is really easy in some communities to use our religion as a "mask" for the deep, dark, hidden places in our souls. That never works out well, for anyone, including the person who is hiding behind those "perfect" words.

As we approach this season of Thanksgiving, we are all reminded of the blessings we experience in our every-day lives. Some years we feel that we have more to be thankful for than in other years, but when we think about it honestly, we all have much for which to be grateful. But then, how often do we turn right around and live as if we are paupers? Sure, many of us are struggling with the day-to-day necessities of life, finding it difficult to pay all of the bills and still be able to buy groceries. And that is not easy. How can we continually act grateful when we can't find money to put gas in the car, or for the kids' school lunches, or to buy baby formula? I'm not sure I know the answer . . . . but this one thing I DO know: getting angry, sad, frustrated, or resentful won't change a thing!

Well, except it will just make you miserable ;o) There have been many times in my life, and I'm sure in your life as well, when it seemed impossible to figure out how to get from "here" to "there." No matter which way we looked, there was no way "out." So . . . . . we have a couple of choices at that point. We can allow our natural anger and frustration to continue to move us in the direction of bitterness, or we can recognize that holding on to all of that anxiety will only make the situation worse, and make us feel completely miserable. Then we get the opportunity to sort out the yucky stuff from the blessings, and move forward to discover a solution, or a possible alternative, or even a place of peace in the midst of the uncertainty and sadness. Is it easy? Of course not, but then we know that life is NOT going to be easy, so let's get on with it!

As we face every day, we can put on the "mask" of propriety, saying all the right words and pretending to be whatever it is that we think we are expected to be . . . . but at the end of our day, at the end of our life, the real question will be whether or not we truly lived a life of gratitude, honor, and integrity. And it will no longer matter what "everyone else" thinks, or that you were able to convince "everyone else" that you were something that you were not. It will only matter that you gave your complete devotion to honoring God with your actions, not just your words, even if you mess up once in a while. And living a life of trust and joy, even in the midst of darkness and confusion is one way for our actions to reflect our words.

Today, many of us are not feeling that this is the best Thanksgiving we have ever had . . . . . but how about we choose to act on what we know, being grateful for our blessings, and open our hearts and minds to the gifts that God has prepared for us this holiday season. Who knows, we might just discover that He has provided a way for us to move beyond the difficulties of today, and lead us to a brighter tomorrow. Have a blessed Thanksgiving, and I pray that you will always remember all that He has for you, no matter what!

Please visit Tami at "The Next Step"to find all of the other IOW participants this week, and then take a minute to visit them on this beautiful Tuesday!

November 23, 2009

I've always known (kind of) about the Chinese culture, which holds great reverence for their ancestors and elderly relatives. So much so, that sons of Chinese families, traditionally, care for their aging parents, while daughters typically marry into another family and help care for the aging parents of their husbands. With this tradition in mind, I think often of my own daughters and what their lives would be like if they had remained in China. I am not suggesting that this Chinese tradition is not as good as our American traditions . . . . far from it! If our elderly relatives were treated with the same level of respect as is shown to the "senior citizens" of China, well we just might be having a different kind of discussion about health care, nursing homes, and the "sandwich generation."

So there is definitely something to be said in favor of the social and cultural value that is placed on older people in China. Of course the other side of that observation is that, when this tradition is followed closely, it severely limits options for the women of that country. On the other hand, sometimes all of the "opportunities" that are available to American young people are not always safe, healthy, or wise. But that is another discussion . . . . . all of this got me to thinking (again) about how we, as Americans, have for so long been pursuing the dream of having it all.

And the problems that it has created for people who have been fortunate to have ALMOST all (of whatever they are seeking), and now are faced with the reality of a struggling economy. Many of us simply can no longer spend our Saturday afternoons wandering around in a huge mall, with cheery music tempting us to feel all warm and fuzzy as we rack up those $$$$ on our charge cards. We can always pay it off later! Unfortunately, "later" has caught up with us, and it is not much fun for many Americans.

My girls will often ask me, "Mom, did you have M&Ms when you were a kid?" or "Was there TV around when you were a kid?" or other equally wise observations from their perspective. And I will tell them the truth . . . . . yep, those things "were around" but I didn't have nearly as much of it as they do. And I lived to tell about it! For some people, that overwhelming desire to have more stuff, new stuff, expensive stuff, and beautiful stuff becomes almost like a noose around the neck. It becomes all-consuming, to the point of destroying marriages and forcing people into bankruptcy.

Now, all of us have faced financial struggles at some point in our lives . . . . . and some end up needing to file bankruptcy for very legitimate reasons. That is not the point of this thought process. It is about the mindless consumption of material goods that has become such an accepted part of the "American Dream." So, when I chatted with one of my older daughters about how difficult it is to keep going when there is just never enough money to go around, we came to the conclusion that there are millions of people right now who are actually in more difficult circumstances than we are encountering, and that there are also millions of Americans who lived through the Great Depression . . . . . and they survived. Not only did they survive, many became stronger, more independent, more resourceful, and more joyful directly in proportion to their determination to be thankful for what they had. No matter how simple, they learned to appreciate the little things in life.

So, when one of our nieces posted a comment on my FB page about my ability to take "old stuff" and make it into something kind of cool (or something like that!), it reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother-in-law over 30 years ago. Even back then, she made the observation that I "could make a beautiful home out of just about nothing." My philosophy all of my life has been, a coat of paint doesn't cost much and it will make a whole room feel brand-new! As I carry that philosophy of "old stuff" over into my daily life, I am continually confronted with the ways in which we so often just "throw away" things that are no longer brand-new (well, actually some of it IS brand-new, as evidenced by the number of gorgeous items I find in thrift shops that still have the tags attached!) - but we've grown tired of it, or it is no longer the "latest fashion."

And that attitude carries over into our lives as we encounter people . . . . those who are older, or a bit slower, or perhaps can't "snap it up" to our level of expectation. I see it frequently when we are out with our daughter, Missy Stubborn-Pants. She WILL do it herself, even when it takes her a bit longer than most other kids because of her CP. Stubborn in that case is a good thing (of course, it sometimes makes me crazy, like when it is time for school and she somehow thinks that just because she is determined to zip her own coat, that will change what time the bell rings!). Anyway, I've been thinking about "old stuff," perhaps more so because I just had a birthday last week ;o) but I've recognized that one of the reasons that I love vintage stuff, and fixing up "old stuff" so much is because I see so much waste in our society.

I think it is time for us all to re-think our own "philosophy of old stuff" and begin to get a bit more comfortable with the treasures that can be discovered in all things "vintage." Including Grandma and Grandpa! Have a blessed Monday! I'm off to the studio to fix up some more "old stuff" because it seems that there are at least a few folks out there in the world who like my style!

Please visit my little Etsy shop at www.gossamerwingsstudio.etsy.com to see more of my "old stuff" that I have turned into beautiful "new stuff" - you won't be disappointed!

November 22, 2009

Sunday morning . . . . a peaceful, quiet, introspective time when we can take a few moments and revisit the past week and make plans for the days ahead. This week we celebrate Thanksgiving. I am again reminded to focus on what we have and not on what we wish we had. We are all struggling through times of uncertainty and confusion, many of us facing financial difficulties which seem to loom so much larger as we approach the holidays. But just remember . . . . all of those things are events in life, they are not the reason for life and they are certainly not the really important things in life. Family, friendships, community, and most importantly, knowing our place in the universe. So, whether you believe in a loving Heavenly Father who cares for you deeply . ... or not . . . . you are loved and treasured, just for being YOU! And it's no big deal that you aren't perfect - neither is anyone else. It's not about being perfect, it is about receiving the loving relationship that is available to you through the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus. It is a gift, all you need to do is accept it. Is it real? Is it true? Well, just because something hasn't happened to YOU does not mean it didn't happen! Have a blessed Sunday, and let's start our week of Thanksgiving with a grateful heart.

November 18, 2009

A couple of days ago, while wandering around the blogosphere, I came across Kimberley at her "Southern Belle Blog."What a sweetheart! Is that because she is from the South? Perhaps, because I know lots of people in that part of the country who are the most gracious, kind, generous, and hospitable folks you would ever want to meet. But then . . . . I guess you can find wonderful people wherever you go, you just have to look for them and then get to know them and maybe, one day, you will be friends! That is one of the best parts of blogging, in my opinion.

I have met so many amazing people, talented artists, incredible writers, and exceptional designers and seamstresses since I started my little blogging journey a couple of years ago. BTW, I always use the word "seamstress" to describe someone who does a great deal of sewing . .. . I just feel that it has a more professional sound that "sewers." You know, that can be read a couple of different ways, and I wouldn 't want anyone to misunderstand or be confused ;o)

Well, one of the great things about Kimberley's blog,"Southern Belle," is that she has advertising opportunities available, and TODAY ONLY you can have your blog button posted on her blog for FREE! You might want to run right over and meet Miss Kimberley, and you will definitely make a new friend, for she is very friendly and sweet.

And, in addition to her great blog, Kimberley has a beautiful Etsy shop, "Tie-Me-Up Apparel"where she has a bunch of fun and funky stuff that would be perfect for holiday gift-giving. Check it out!

And last by not least, if you are looking for a new banner, button, logo or whatever else your little heart desires by way of graphic design, Kimberley can do it! Her other website,"Banner-Mart",has a huge array of graphic design goodies to take care of whatever you might need. Well, that was one of my blogosphere adventures this week . .. . . where will I land next?

Thinking about all the ways to turn "old stuff" into beautiful, upcycled, refashioned "new stuff." Wonder why so often we feel like we need more and more stuff, and it has to be brand-new . . . . . I kind of like some of my "old stuff" and want to keep him around for a long, long time! Old stuff is sometimes very, very good ;o)

November 17, 2009

"Life is difficult.This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

~ M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

Most of us have times in our lives when we wonder what in the world is going on . . .. . we've tried so hard to make wise choices, do the right thing, care for others, and do everything that we know to do to live a life that honors God. But then sometimes really difficult things come into our lives, and we just can't figure out where we went wrong. We are left wondering, "What else could I have done? How could I have prevented this? Where did I go wrong?" But I've come to realize that I've been asking the wrong question!

When I read of the Apostle Paul's struggle with his failures and limitations, there is always the reassuring answer from God: "My grace is sufficient." So, while I am wrestling with "I" and "me," I lose sight of the truth that it was never about me, anyway. I'm just not that important in this particular equation! However, I AM that important to God, that even in the midst of the difficulties and heartaches of life, He is right there with me, carrying me through.

I read this particular book, "The Road Less Traveled," many years ago while going through a period of struggles, questions, sadness, and confusion. And ever since I read that first paragraph, there has been a comforting and encouraging embrace of grace around my heart and mind. Not that I always remember that it is there! But it has been such a gift to be able to remember that . . . . . well, this is just the way life is. For everyone. And anyone who pretends otherwise is either too young to have a clue ;o) or is in self-defense mode, wanting desperately to believe that this simply is not true. But it is. And life is difficult for a reason.

Studying the historical record of the ancient Christian church provided me an opportunity to read all kinds of fascinating documents and learn about some of the debates among the early Church Fathers. And in some cases, there were even a few women who had a good idea now and then, but that is a different story for a different day! But one of the big debates in the early days of the church was trying to answer the question, "Why did God become Man?" Now that is a pretty fundamental question to answer for those of us who accept the premise that God DID become Man, in the Person of Jesus Christ. But what was the point? Wasn't there any other was for God to reach down and intervene in the daily lives of His mortal created beings? Well, of course . . . . God could do that in any way that He chose, because after all, He is God.

But one of the conclusions that came out of the early debates over this topic, was that God knew that we, as finite human beings, needed to "see" and to "feel" the presence of our God. We needed to have a God "with skin on," so to speak. And . . . . God also knew that life is difficult. In our human weaknesses, we really do need to know that He is there, walking with us every step of the way. But when we somehow think that one day, somehow, we will finally get it all figured out and life will be perfect, and we will be perfect . .. . well, then I think we've missed the message of the Gospel. The story of the Incarnation. The gift of grace. Because if I could be perfect on my own, I wouldn't need a Savior.

So, life is difficult . ... but, who cares? There is nothing I can do about it anyway, and God already has figured it all out, so the sooner I recognize that there will be ups and downs in life, the happier I will be. Well, at least I will be able to accept the fact that when things go wrong, it isn't ALWAYS my fault (sometimes it is, and that's why we need a God who is gracious and forgiving), that these kinds of things happen to everyone so I am not alone, and I have the strength through God's grace to rise above it and find joy (not necessarily happiness) even in the midst of sadness. And then all of that junk just no longer has the power to control my thoughts and feelings.

Life is difficult . . . but that doesn't mean life is tragic. Life has times of sadness . . . .but that doesn't need to keep us in bondage to depression and discouragement. Sometimes life just stinks! So, how about we open the windows of our soul and let the sunshine of God's grace and the beauty of His Spirit rise up into our hearts until we no longer hide in the shadows. We can do this! YOU can do this!

Thanks for stopping by today, and please visit all of the other IOW participants this week. Please leave a comment and post your link so I can come by and visit you all later today! Have a wonderful Tuesday ;o)

November 16, 2009

There's just something about Monday morning that is very different from the rest of the week. It is even different from Monday afternoon or Monday night. It always feels like a brand-new beginning. And it is wonderful to have that opportunity for new beginnings every single week! I know that for many of us, the first of every new year brings a renewed sense of energy and optimism. But I really need that chance to start all over again more than just once a year! That's because I typically have so many goals for each day and each week, and I work so diligently to achieve my self-imposed expectations, that I rarely succeed. Now, that is an issue that I struggle with constantly. But as a mom who has talked to lots of other moms, I know that I am not alone in this "expectation trap."

Just the other day I was chatting with a friend who was expressing her feelings of guilt, frustration, sadness, and exhaustion as she attempted to figure out what she was doing "wrong" as a mother. Sometimes she didn't say the right words, or she was too tired to cope with an argumentative teen-ager, or she felt that perhaps there should have been something, anything, that she could have done differently that would have made everything "right." The guilt that we moms carry around in our pockets and in our hearts is enough to choke the proverbial horse! Of course, when we are wrong . . . . we are wrong. And when a mom makes a mistake, she should have the courage and the integrity to own up to it, admit it, and ask forgiveness. But something that most of us moms completely lose sight of is the fact that, NO, mothers are NOT responsible for every thing that goes wrong in the world!

But just remember, that is exactly what our kids will try to tell us because they are kids. Life is so much easier when we have someone to blame. And mom is always the easiest target for all of that dumping of guilt. Partly because we are so willing to take it and try to fix it. But I guess I've lived long enough, and been a mom long enough, to know that we need to teach our children how to have the integrity and courage to own their own "junk." So, if I did it, I'm responsible. But if someone else "did it," then they need to take responsibility for it . . . . . whatever "it" is. It's just way too easy to blame mom, because after all we know that "when mama's not happy, no one is happy." However, sometimes "mama's not happy" because she is drowning in false guilt and trying to figure out how she became responsible for everyone and everything in the universe . . . . . and blame and guilt is a very heavy burden to carry around in those pretty pockets in mama's apron.

So, I love Monday morning. I get to walk through that door of opportunity and learn from my mistakes and become the woman that I know I can be. I get another opportunity to teach my children to be strong, independent, and courageous people of integrity. And take responsibility for their own junk!