Thursday, November 10, 2016

Wrapping my brain around the unbelievable

I know that no one reads my blog anymore. That's on me. I haven't written in a long time, but that's okay. This blog has always just been for me anyway. But I don't know where else to put down all my feelings about what has just happened in our country. And I have a lot of feelings. I've been spending a lot of hours just sitting on the ocean's edge and trying to find some peace in this whole muddled election mess.

So Trump won. That happened. I called that the moment he announced his candidacy. I saw the writing on the wall but I really hoped I was wrong. I spend enough time with little humans who repeat word for word what they hear their parents say about Trump and Clinton that I knew I was in the minority. Well, actually the majority, but not in my state. Over and over I heard that their parents were voting for Trump because they refused to vote for Hilary. The kids kept saying things like "SCOTUS is really important." I would ask them if they knew what SCOTUS was and they gave me blank stares. Hell, my own in-laws voted for Trump because they just couldn't vote for Hilary. They have always maintained that they are tried and true Christians but they voted for the man who wants to keep out refugees. They live in a state that would be in financial ruin if all the illegal immigrants were deported. They spread the hate on their FB page with as much ease as any Non-Christian. I'm a little angry at them, can you tell?

See, to me, this isn't about Hilary or Trump. It's about the Pandora's box that is America. People claim they voted for Trump because they didn't want more of the same. But the past 8 years haven't been the same. Put aside the GOP holding SCOTUS hostage and refusing to pass bills through the House and Senate, things HAVE changed. How do I know this? I am a college educated white woman with a BA who is married to a white man with a Master's degree. I am a teacher and he is a minister. On paper we should have lots of money. But we don't. Hubby went to seminary during the Bush years and the recession hit us very hard. He's considered self-employed, like a lot of the people who voted for Trump, and self-employed people pay a higher percentage of income tax. But, on the 1st of November, we paid off a very large bill that has been looming over us for years (caused by not being able to pay our extremely high income taxes) and have moved squarely into Middle Class. Change has happened. Our country now has marriage equality. We have insurance available to everyone. Yes, I know, it's not perfect and some people have suffered under it, but that's because some states opted out of it. It needed a broader base. But it happened. People who live their lives outside of the societal accepted norms were finally gaining a toehold in becoming part of the conversation.

I don't agree with 75% percent of the things Trump has set out in his Hundred Day Plan. I think he's dangerous. But he's not the first president I have disagreed with. I can live with my fear of his environmental and foreign policies. But today in my daughter's school (85% Trump), a young Clinton supporting girl was accosted by a Trump supporting boy. He threatened her physically with his body. When she told him to back up, he said, "What are you going to do about it, Bitch?" THAT IS WHAT TRUMP HAS DONE! He has given a voice to the people who would suppress other's rights and safety. He has whipped a segment of our population (both Democrat and Republican) into a frenzy and given them the right to intimidate and harass. And yes, I hear you right now saying that these people are just a small percentage of his supporters and they were like that to begin with. I get it... I'm trying to wrap my head around it, to understand it and to forgive the Trump supporters (like my in-laws) who would never physically harm anyone or say anything negative to their face.

But here's the thing, and it's a pretty big thing, those people who Hilary called Deplorables, let's say only 5% of Trump's supporters are like that. The other 95% are God-fearing Christians whose lives have been hard, or who don't believe in abortion, or who just wanted to see the old government regime burn. Am I being fair in my percentage split? I think so. Those 5% are attacking black people, gay people, GIRLS IN SCHOOLS, women, immigrants, refugees and anyone they don't think should be in America. Those people are instilling a high level of fear in a large part of the population. They are dangerous. They are changing the tide of conversation from anti-bullying to bullying as a right.

I have seen so many people say that they know Trump isn't going to do half of what he said during the campaign. It doesn't matter, the damage has been done. For me, it all boils down to this one question: When you see someone being unfairly intimidated, what are you going to do? Are you just going to FB post about it? All of you who have voted for Trump and are taking offense at the backlash, just tell me that you are going to walk up to the immigrant who is sitting in a group of thugs yelling "Build the Wall" and put yourself at risk to protect that person. Tell me that when you see a transgender man being attacked in a bathroom you're not going to just stand there and look away. When my daughter puts her body in front of the girl who is being accosted by the boy to protect her (because that's who she is), are you going to go to their aid, or are you going back away and not take responsibility in your part of this mess that has now become America? When you voted for Trump, you said you were okay with his way of speaking. You said you accepted the loss of other's civil rights for your comfort...not safety...COMFORT. If you are a Trump supporter who says to me I will stand with you when you protect the disadvantaged, you and I are good. I know I sound like I am being sarcastic and judgmental right now, but please believe me, I am not. I NEED to know that you are not one of the 5% and that you will rise up when this all goes so bad. I need to know that as a teacher I am not raising little humans who believe kindness is weakness.

I'm not being a sore loser. I am a scared loser. I am the daughter of an immigrant who was taught never to sit if the flag was passing by in a parade. I don't want to live in any other country. I just don't know who this country is anymore.

3 comments:

Becky
said...

I still read!!!! And yes, we are in a sad state... no pun intended. I would like to think that I would be one to stand up, but honestly can't say right now, as I haven't been put in the position. I am just hoping (by thoughts and deeds) that kindness will prevail, clear heads will prevail, intelligence will prevail, the United States will prevail. The government is supposed to be chosen by the people, to stand for what the majority of people believe. At this point, all I can believe in is kindness - to one and all....

I have been trying to reason with those closest to me. I can't get anywhere with my inlaws. They have been brainwashed into thinking Obama was pure evil, he ruined the country, and the only way to bring America back from ruin is to vote Republican. My husband thinks Trump can rise to the occasion and save us. I haven't gotten him to see any problems with any of Trump's plans, but when I explain why I feel a certain way he does that into consideration. I think it's a start. I'm pretty sure that when we sink to the lowest level of this hell, some fool will be sure that we would be much worse off had Hillary won. I am trying to not talk politics but it's everywhere all the time. The whole thing makes me sad. People didn't vote for a candidate, they voted for an elusive pipe dream with 0 basis in reality.