This morning i'd like to share a tip from Ben Franklin on how to turn enemies into friends. More about this can be found on YouAreNotSoSmart.com (http://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/10/05/the-benjamin-franklin-effect/) . Franklin' rise to prominence in early American society and politics was due in part to his incredible acumen for decoding human behavior. This was no small feat during a time in history when a spat with someone could lead to a deadly duel (such as when the vice president shot the secretary of state to death after a disagreement). Ben had all sorts of things to say about social relationships that are still relevant today such as how to deal with negative letter writers similar to today's internet trolls, and my personal favorite, how to turn a friend into an enemy.

Franklin's technique was simple, ask an enemy for a favor to turn them into a friend. One time he turned around a hater just by asking them if he could borrow a book. This is based on a strange trick on the mind that causes us to experience our behaviors as a result of our attitude and not the other way around. In reality, our actions determine our opinions about people and not the other way around. In other words, cognitive science has shown us that the things we do influence the things we believe. When you help someone who is supposedly your enemy it causes cognitive dissonance because our brain must make sense of a friendly or helpful action toward someone we had previously considered dangerous or undesirable.

So try it! Smile at the people who annoy you. Ask favors from the folks who seem to have it out for you.