Drumlanrig: Margo’s tram poesy raises peals of laughter

There was an enjoyable moment at this year’s carol service at St Cuthbert’s in Edinburgh for the Sick Kids Friends Foundation. Margo MacDonald was responsible for a memorable reading of the Betjeman poem Christmas.

“With apologies to John Betjeman,” Margo announced before reciting a bastardised version of the poem, which had been not so subtly altered to suit her audience. References to London were replaced with Edinburgh. But the best bit was an improvised line in the third stanza reflecting our capital’s transport struggles.

“The holly in the windy hedge,”

said Margo in her most dulcet tones.

“And round the Manor House the yew,

“Will soon be stripped to deck the ledge,

“The altar, font and arch and pew,

“So that the villagers can say

“The church looks nice on Christmas Day.

“Provincial Public Houses blaze,

“Corporation tramcars clang,” she said before exclaiming: “Oh yes they will!”

It brought God’s house down.

Stevenson blows his own trumpet – again

Drumlanrig reported last week that Stewart Stevenson regaled Holyrood with his impressive educational achievements. MSPs learned that the SNP MSP read JD Mackie’s A History of Scotland aged five. Aged seven, he read a biography of Lloyd George. He even boasted that he was a spottier youth than Labour’s Neil Findlay.

This week we can reveal that Stevenson has been at it again, telling MSPs he once gained 97 per cent in a university maths exam. It appears that there is no end to the talents of this lad o’ pairts.

Christmas tweetings mock SNP party spirit

Tweet of the week came from our very own columnist Euan McColm, who had a wry take on the SNP’s failure to have proper talks with the Bank of England on an independent Scotland’s representation on the bank’s Monetary Policy Committee.

“SNP Christmas Party cancelled,” McColm tweeted. “Organisers said they’d had constructive dialogue with the pub, but there’s no record of an actual booking.”

Later McColm updated his followers. “Nicola will have meeting with pub re Xmas party – scheduled for New Year.”

Tory good tidings that come with a warning

That genial and entertaining Tory MSP Sir Jamie McGrigor has issued a good-natured warning to journalists.

His Christmas cards to the hacks at Holyrood have been signed off: “Beware Leveson!”