Time for Mark to Fish or cut bait

TV & Radio / 3 March 2014, 10:31am

Lara de Matos

It’s official: last night’s instalment of Survivor goes down in television history as one of the most frustrating.

Despite being able to witness that a bewildered Gena was being completely blindsided (and by her former tribemate as well, no less – shame on you, Dave!) we could do little but stand by and watch her fall… Right. Into. The rabbit hole.

#DAVE-ISMS

“Ja, they’re going to fire me as a Sunday school teacher! Sorry, Dominee…”

Personally, Dave, I don’t know what’s more frightening: the fact that you can be so duplicitous, even after Gena good-naturedly told you to try to secure the idol for yourself, or that you’re a Sunday school teacher!

TOOTSIE TALK

Ag, Gena. You’re a sweetie and we’re sad to see you go. But did it honestly take you that long to figure out what pretty much everyone else (including Sonnette – who was deemed “most clueless”) had already cottoned on to from the moment they saw the turnstiles? The whole set-up screamed “tribal shuffle”.

FEATURED FLASHER

Here’s what I don’t get: all the contenders put themselves forward for the show, because they’re self-proclaimed fanatics. This, in turn, indicates that they have watched every season, followed every scandal and understand what will be expected of them once they’re on the island.

Pray, do tell us then, Moyra, why you still opted for barely-there bikini bottoms that positioned your rump in full view of the camera while undertaking challenges, hmm?

Hey, I’m sure the boys weren’t complaining.

MEOW!

Once again, Graham and Zavion share the stage, with both having expressed their dislike and mistrust of Stephen and his playing style. Just goes to show: you should never trust a male model.

KEEPING UP WITH KRIGE

Okay Corne, we’re confused: from initially declaring your distinct distaste for the backstabbing antics of the game, it seems you’ve now taken to wielding the knife yourself: first, we hear you discuss your disapproval with the rest of the tribe that Philip’s name was on the chopping block, because he was a good provider. But in this week’s playback, you’re caught on camera, saying it was too early to play the idol (after Philip had beseeched you to do so on his behalf) and “it’s not such a vital person”. Huh?

FLY FISH (ING)

While we’ve generally respected Mark’s decision to steer clear of the behind-the-scenes politicking, there comes a point when, as a team captain, you have to stand up and be heard. Particularly when you see your tribe being manipulated by ring-leaders (no names mentioned) who are only out to serve their own interests, and not that of the tribe. Time to step in now, Mr Fish.

SPECIAL MENTION

Survivor is a game of deception. Fine. But if, indeed, it’s a “microcosm for real life” as Nico stated, I sincerely pity any fool who befriends the likes of Marian and Shane. Outwitting, outlasting and outplaying is one thing. Blatantly stealing from someone’s bag and maliciously gunning for them for no other real reason than because you can, is something altogether different. Clearly, “integrity” is a word that doesn’t feature in either of their vocabularies.

Though they’d best familiarise themselves with the term “disgust”… because at this point, that’s the only reaction this poisonous twosome is eliciting.