It's been a great 4.54 billion years, but I think it's time to end Earth.

Why?

Because people have started a hot new trend of dipping pizza in milk, and, wow, let's just end the whole thing now. Seriously, I just looked at a picture of this, and I don't see much of a point in continuing the whole planet Earth thing.

There's plenty of things to dip in milk. Cookies, cereal, your hand. But not pizza. The only thing you should dip pizza in is more sauce. But, you know what? Humans have made such a mess of things, so maybe it's time to just quit while we're ahead — or rather before we've totally lost.