Friday, January 08, 2010

And The Coach and The Bob did be frustrated with only the first line scoring. And lo, they turned to The Colonel for guidance.

And The Colonel doth said unto them, I have a very special CHicken growing in the Wilds of the land of ten thousand lakes. Thou needest only to give up your ill-begotten native son Gui to get him. This CHicken is special, and made in mine own image. He hath been drafted on high, but neigh I have suppressed his skills until the time of the deliverance. He is possessed of The Speed, The Size, and The Hands. These gifts will become apparent upon his return to the Holy Shrine.

And The Coach and The Bob were pleased. And they asked unto The Colonel, will you demand a sacrifice for the deliverance of the Blessed CHicken? And The Colonel respondeth I will demand the sacrifice of your two pairs of Breasts, for I need them to make my delicious nuggets with eleven herbs and spices.

And The Coach and The Bob prayed to The Colonel that at least the Breasts would be delivered some time before the Holy Time of the playoff push. And it was good.

And The Colonel delivered The Message which was thus. I will touch The Mexican and The Little Giant so that they may be healed. Thou wilst pairest them with the Blessed CHicken, and it shall be good.

So it was written, so it was done. The Coach did put the line together, and it was good. And the Giant Mexican CHicken did come forth. And in the process, did unburden the first line from the weight of the load.

And the Blessed CHicken did score. And he slayed the Cat and rescued the CHosen Team from the losing streak in the Holy Shrine.

And yet The Colonel was displeased, for his one true Franchise Saviour had been cast aside. And lo, The Colonel did deliver a goalie controversy upon them.

You're first person I've come across who actually wants to know how it's made... If you ever find out, please don't tell me.

@29 - this is indeed one of the best ever. Does this presage foreys into other texts, such as Talmudic debate? (The Rabbi Jacob ben Martini said no offence may be allowed in any zone, by any team. The Rabbi Peter son of Guire said without offence there are no waking fans. The Rabbi Habzfin of Twen-nein said fans could be awakened by bountiful distributions of Russian strippers.)

Or maybe Hansard and parliamentary debate? (The Right Honourable CoaCH from Montreal stated that there would be no morning practice. Many honourable players said, "Hear, Hear". The honorable GrosSeins of Belarus said, "je suis toute fucké quand même, merde.")

Dunno, seemed like a good idea at the time. Then again, I fell on my head playing hockey last night and I could have sworn that when I got home they said the Habs shut out the cats, and BGL made a great scoring play, so I must still be a bit addled. Guess I can sympathize with D'agger, who still seems to be.

BGL out with a lower body injury apparently caused by a nasty fall in his kitchen when he opened the tofu and that slimy liquid spilled on the floor which caused him to slip as he was in tree pose... never mind. White called up. Hope Bob made the right calls.

About Four Habs Fans

The Four(-ish) Habs Fans are four(-ish) Habs fans. Three are from Montreal, though one of those is now stuck in the middle of the Red Mile. The other somehow grew up a Habs fan in the middle of Ontario Cottage Country, and now lives in Hogtown. Some of them are lawyers, so they are opinionated, and may or may not be assholes.

HabsFan29 is a lifelong Montrealer who decided the Four Habs Fans' email exchanges about the Habs were just too stupidly amusing and occasionally intelligent not to share with the world. The 29 is for the greatest (only?) Goalie-lawyer-PM candidate ever. He would like his mom to know that his meth habit is overstated on this blog for comedic effect.

HabsFan4 paid tribute to one of the finest gentlemen to ever don a Canadiens sweater. His legacy as one of the pioneers of the Gangsta Rap movement has always been understated. His Jaro posts will be recalled fondly by all.

HabsFanForever33 aka Panger is a Montrealer in Exile currently residing mere blocks from the Red Mile, yet whose passion for all things Canadiens has only embiggened with distance. HFF33 worships at the altar of St. Patrick. Panger still gets chills recalling the moment he met the greatest goal-scorer of all time, The Rocket. HFF33 is a life-long Habs fan, except during the Houle-Tremblay Era, when Le Club de Hockey Canadiens was dead to Panger.

HabsFan10 grew up watching Le Demon Blond on Radio-Canada with his unilingual English Dad in a WASPy little town in Maple Leafs country, at least until the playoffs each year, when he got to hear Danny Gallivan and Dick Irvin because the Leafs played on opposite nights (if they made the playoffs at all). Rick Middleton and Cam Neely sometimes haunt his dreams. He thinks Thurso, Quebec should be declared a national historical site. If you aren't sure what the 10 in HF10 stands for, you're on the wrong site, buster.

All mind-bogglingly warped Photoshop work courtesy the warped mind of GoldenGirl11 a.k.a. LukeyNussbaum11. All stripperrific vision expressed by contributors through Photoshop are solely those of the individual writer and do not reflect the opinions of GG11, a card carrying feminist, although she's sure that they are the opinions of her four sons even if they don't care to admit it.

moeman born in l'Estie'd'Québec, was baptized Maurice because well his Mom, seeing his beautiful dark locks and glaring eyes knew he'd need a namesake, actually it was his Mon Oncle Yvon that CHristened his Habstism, deep in central Ontario no less. He took life's circuitous route and blessed his own son with the name Patrick in 1993. He also has a gorgeous daughter but she's a Sens fan, so, meh. moeman loves women, wine, song, women, Habs, his kids, women, iOS Apps, hockey blogging women and women. His other passion, he hates the leaf. He also loves women.