He's pretty good at it but, together with The Hotel Inspector, Ruth Watson, (TV One, Saturdays) he'd have a tough job revitalising Woodlands Lodge in England.

Ruth claimed the decor resembled "old ladies underwear" and, while the only bloomers tele-evangelists should know about grow in the garden, he'd have said the wallpaper resembles Mark Sainsbury's wardrobe on Tonight.

Woodlands Lodge is run by the ultimate in bland - David and Jenny Norbury and John, their manager.

They've appeared to have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory so often that Ruth was summonsed before they went down the financial gurgler.

Her changes started with the wallpaper from hell, the bathrooms and swept into the corridors, the restaurant and the kitchen where she was served duck with overcooked noodles.

The chef may have been up at the quack of dawn, but the food left her down in the mouth.

Shortly after he left due to a family crisis however the crisis was back at the lodge with the Blands.

Eventually Ruth cowered them into submission but only because a bigger and better hotel was being built down the road.

A transformation started - hades became heaven, purgatory become possibility thinking.