Hateful Muppet Rick Santorum told a crowd of slack jawed Floridians that the Obama administration is against abstinence-only education because the President wants America to be poor. Not only is the idea that comprehensive sex ed is the path to poverty 17 shades of incorrect, it points out a disturbing truth: Rick Santorum literally cannot stop imagining everyone fucking.

The ex-Senator's got his verbal discharge in a froth because of the Obama administration stance on abstinence-only sex education. Sex outside of marriage is dangerous and unhealthy and a thing people do when they're at-risk, said the horribly repressed man. He cannot believe that the government would ban abstinence-only education, because the best way to get people to not do something is make sure they don't know about it. Sort of like how pacifists argue that history courses should just skip over the war parts, because we don't want our children knowing about war and thinking that having some war of their very own is a good idea.

First, Santorum's characterization of the Obama administration as a despotic government eager to get America's teens screwing again isn't accurate, as ThinkProgress points out. The administration has limited the way recipients of federal grants can discuss abstinence in their sex ed programs, but non-federal grant recipients are free to carry on what whatever futility they think God wants them to say. Second, abstinence only sex education doesn't reduce the amount of sex teens are having, it just increases the risky sexual behaviors in which they engage. Educators hate abstinence-only sex ed because it doesn't work, and has never worked (in addition: doesn't everyone already know that not having sex is a great way to not get pregnant?).

Rick Santorum, ever so concerned for the goings on in the pants of everyone everywhere at all times, is upset because the government is not funding an ineffective program that leads to STD's and unintended pregnancy (which is very expensive any way you swing it), and he's deliberately misleading supporters with a patently false tie between the government advocating responsible use of birth control and the President wanting everyone to be poor.