Pages

March 23, 2010

Do You Brag About Your Wife?

One of my most favorite things to do when my wife and I are at an event and happen to be on opposites of the room is to brag about her to the people that I am around. Now it's no secret that men have a harder time expressing their feelings than their wives—and I'm no exception—but the years of practice have been worth it.

It's the simple things, really. A woman will notice my wife standing across the room and comment on how cute she looks and I'll say, "She is beautiful, isn't she?" If my wife isn't there with me that day, someone might say, "I really wish she could have come," and I'll point out the fact that I really do miss her. Sometimes when we happen to be around a big group of little girls, I'll resort to childhood games to get my point across. I'll whisper in a little girl's ear that I think I like "that girl over there" and ask if they can go see if she likes me too. Little kids love gossiping about relationships so they usually have a ball delivering messages back and forth between my wife and me.

You can also brag a bit to emphasize the fact that you really admire or respect something your wife has done. We often will say, "My wife had the idea..." but can we build that up even more? What about, "My wife had the idea—and it was a great idea—to..." Anytime you take the time to publicly lift up your wife, your marriage wins.

And it's not just fun and games either. Sometimes this public affection has a serious effect on those who are watching. About a year ago my wife went to see her family for a week and I was hanging out with some single friends. Naturally the jokes about being alone starting coming in, and I chose to use those as a way to brag about my wife and how much I loved her and truly did miss her when she was gone. A couple weeks later I got an email out of the blue from a friend of a friend who had been around during that week. Here's an excerpt of what she wrote:

I admire your relationship so much. My parents divorced right before I started seventh grade, but I don't think they really loved each other for a while before that. Marriage and love in general have been a real absense in my life since then. For a while (and still somewhat today), I struggled with cynicism toward love and marriage. I didn't understand how it could work, if all the marriages in my family were falling apart. Anyway, I know this is getting lengthy, so I'll try to get to the point. How do you two maintain the love? I think that's what I'm trying to ask. How do you miss each other so much, even for a week? I really want that. I look foward to having a family and spending my life with one person. It's always seemed impossible to me, though. I just thought I'd send y'all an e-mail inquiring about it because I think it's so amazing. It's something I think I needed to see. Thank you for being an example for me!

Talk about humbling! It makes me wonder what kind of influence our talk about our own marriages has on those around us? What do your friends think about your marriage? What do your kids think about marriage? A sobering thought for sure.

So even though it can be a little uncomfortable to brag about your wife in front of other people (including in front of the guys), the benefits greatly outweigh the costs. So start bragging about your wife. Your marriage—and those watching—will thank you.

It depends, though. I've seen men who boast about their wife's physical appearance, legs, ass, etc,even in front of his adult kids, claim that he's the envy of every man in town, etc etc. That kind of stuff feels more like ownership of property than love, and the wives involved clearly don't like it.