So I got two parcels today. One was the new iPad 2 from its genius inventor Jony Ive (it’s a work of art).

So, if you’re finding it hard to get your hands on Apple’s second-generation iPad, or you don’t want to stand in line for the international launch this Friday, all you need to do is write a Bafta winning sitcom, perform a sell-out stand-up comedy show, make a record-breaking podcast and become friends with Jony Ive.