A Selfish Memory in a Day of Infamy

On this day,

I will always remember it to be a disturbance in reality. Everything that was before ceased to be and the memories of that day will endure for a while but never forever.

911 Memorial

I just had sex a few hours before the happenings. You know the hour differences from east to west are of 3 hours. So I was getting it on at 11pm from the 10th (2am east coast), all the way through 3am (6am east coast) and the first plane crash happen at 8:46am on the east coast (5:46am west coast).

So I woke up at about 6am with a ruckus going on in the hall way. I did only have a radio in my dormitory at 1080 Bush Street in San Francisco. I head way to a friend’s room to watch on a small screen the events that has shaped our realities.

Sipping on a warm cup of coffee, I marveled and couldn’t believe such a thing was happening. I then started tearing and thought it was my fault for disturbing something. I thought having sex that same morning was the cause of this – but that was when I was so very naive from the nature of things. This event took me up on a spin. I do remember just before I went to check the television of this event that my dad had called me telling me the towers had been hit. I thought maybe the city demolished it because of financial issues? But then when I saw the events happening live, boy I was in for it. I was only 20 years old when this happened. I was a scared little boy thinking the world was coming to an end just because I lost my virginity the midnight hours before the event. Is something I laugh about today.

Then the second plane hit. That was the ticket that told me that shit is getting real, much more than I ever anticipated. Then I hear over the radio that another plane hit the pentagon. By now I’m in panic mode, and don’t know if they, or whoever, was going to bomb SF too. We were under some major stress. But eventually I saw everyone was going through the same wavelength of emotions as I was.

The feelings were to heavy so of course I started crying out loud. I couldn’t bare the fact that New York was getting hit hard by this and thought that my family was at risk. Confusion and panic started slipping in. Today I thought what if this event never occurred? I would of been a movie director by now or at least worked in the film industry doing something. The tremors of such emotion lasted and shook me to my bones throughout the fall semester at the academy of art college. It was the first time I was alone out there – trying to find my own answer to my life questions. This event just muddled the fuck out of me.

Was I thinking of others at this time? Yes I was. I wanted to go home and hug everyone I left behind. Even though I was having the best experiences in my entire life in San Francisco, that voice kept coming up and bothering me to go back. My mom crying over the phone didn’t help me or encouraged me to stay. The tentacles of my family trying to wrap me up and telling me they miss me with so many tears got me worried. I saw things were really difficult for the first time of my life but I didn’t care. I loved every minute of it. I got to meet people of the film industry and enjoy things I would never have thought possible but I wanted to go home.

So I hated this event but later on to my disbelief I discover that this attack was all an elaborate scheme to control the people by fear. That this was all faked to have control of the populace. That this was done by our own government agents. The zeitgeist documentary (june 18, 2007, Peter Joseph) talks about different theories as being the point where the actions of the menacing groups wanting to zap everyone into getting with the program of fear. But I won’t dive into that right now. What was done is done. It really created a ripple in the fabric of this reality when that event occurred. For good or bad, today is reflecting of such a time of infamy and sadness.

The other part of this depressive day, was the motivation to go out and find the culprit who concert the event. Even bin laden didn’t take the blame until later – which is curious because anyone who wants to reveal their truth on to the world would reveal their murderous intent to strike fear in all at once to make a point. If you have such power, why not wave it and say I did it off the bat? This was concerning because now there is an excuse to go to Afghanistan to fight against the Taliban just for this very reason to find a ghost agent leader. That made no sense at all to me. This very thing sounded like a video game plot line; too shallow of one to be real.

So when the circus started after 9/11, the troops followed up on command. This then got much more depressive in the year 2003 – where America declared preemptive war towards Iraq when the fireworks happened to burn Baghdad by bogus proof of reason to do so.

The chain reaction of suck event went super sour for 8 years. That time people want to forget how horrid it was. Everything was getting spoiled from the best decade previously. The oil prices were low before 2001, things were on the right mark. Lots of awesome innovation happen too. It was a great time and BAM! Total Disruption after the 9/11 attacks.

So 11 years later, we have a memorial to think of the best of such a time before the attacks. When we had our fathers, brothers, mothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, friends, and grandparents there with us. Thus I give my silence and mind to those lost souls of that day.

I hope the world can reform and grow to a better state. War for profit started on 9/11, but I hope we can evolve that sense that we don’t need to be greedy folks and go beyond that survival instinct that we have been riding on all this time.

So. . .
-I wish for love and peace in the world today.

– g –

About Gerardo Valerio

I'm Gerardo J Valerio, a freelancer in graphic design and currently a game designer. My aspirations are to have my creative works to be known throughout the interwebs. I'm right now venturing into independent game development and hopefully be successful at it. I'm also a crohn disease sufferer but advocate to find solutions against it.
I live in Boston but my second home will always be San Francisco. I'm hopeful one day to return to the bay area and share my knowledge to enthusiastic folks who are curious about me.
Also, my blog is the center piece of my expressions. I have always used it to communicate my feelings and artistry. Now more than ever before I will be posting new features and behind the scenes development of my quest to be a game designer.
- g -