Popular toy manufacturer, Mattel, is expanding into the hard-to-crack Islamic extremist market with a new exploding version of their flagship doll, Barbie.

The new doll has already caused buying frenzies and serious injuries in market stalls from Riyadh to Islamabad and Mattel CEO, Robert Eckert, is delighted with how the product has been received.

‘It’s proving a real gifting hit with mums and imams everywhere and we’re particularly proud of the pull-string martyrdom feature. One tug, up go the arms, and she runs forward screaming either ‘Allahu Akbar!’ or ‘visit mattel.com for exclusive Barbie games and accessories’ before detonating.’

‘There’s no doubt it’s the new toy every child wants, and even those who’ve been lucky enough to get their hands on one are desperate to get what now remains of their hands on a replacement.’

He continued, ‘They’re getting a lot of bang for their buck too. Blow-up Barbie is not only packed with hours of entertainment, but also nails and a concentrated fertiliser-based explosive. The whole product reeks of quality. And also slightly of ammonium nitrate.’

With regards to accessories, Eckert says Mattel realised early on that Blow-up Barbie simply wouldn’t be complete (or allowed to leave her small plastic house) without a new Ken to accompany her.

‘We’re very proud of our fundamentalist Ken too. He has fully movable limbs and comes with little rocks and a flog to ‘correct’ Barbie if she leaves the house without her burka on, or if the child decides to pretend she might be thinking about getting an education.’

However, despite the doll’s success, Eckert has admitted that the product’s development and production hasn’t been entirely without its complications.

‘The whole venture has been something of a departure from the norm, yes. Usually a big corporation like us would wait for our government to invade and homogenise a marketplace before releasing a normal Barbie that’s just a bit brown.’ he says.

‘By doing things this way we knew we’d have to take into account various religious and cultural sensitivities. In fact, we’ve already had to issue one product recall after complaints about the potential harm that could be caused to children by a faulty batch showing too much ankle.’

Yeah - rings bells with me also [along the Action Man line] but this is a cracker.

I'll award stars now and if I have a change of heart later I'll either deduct them or pop round to Qoxiivi's for a little 3rd level stoning. Others are welcome to join in but you'll have to bring your own rocks as I'm down to my last sack.

I think I know the post you mean - it was a similar NiB-length sub. It was uncanny actually, I've had the whole blow-up doll idea on the back burners for months but simply haven't had time to write it, until now. Then, a few months ago someone hit on the same kind of joke completely out of the blue. I replied on that sub when it was posted stating as such so that when I completed this it wasn't seen as a rip off, so to speak. Either way, if you're thinking of the same sub, it's this one: http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31255

Yay! And thanks for the tidying edits NB staff. Have to say though, has lost the original nub of the gag, namely 'blow-up doll'; well, as a stand-alone header punchline anyway. I don't know, perhaps it was too ambiguous. Either way, am delighted to get an FP after so much time away.

Would just like to say, by the way, I love the 'can't be deported' image tag. Lovely work.