Thursday, September 05, 2013

Order Some Sex Online Day!

Click the boxes for the hair, eyes, and body fat that you want, all to your liking. You can pick your style of sex (gentle, rough, furtive, giggly, or Sicilian), and how much sex you want (short, long, extra-long, or weekend getaway). Click confirm and you can watch the sex tracker as it shows you where in the process of preparation and delivery your sex is at any given time (ranges from “We are waiting for him/her to be let out on bail” to “Your sex is in the van on the way to your house”). Try not to masturbate to the tracker. A lot of people masturbate to the tracker and finish before the sex arrives, and they get angry when they still have to pay for the sex even though they don’t want it anymore. There are websites that allow you to masturbate to other people’s sex trackers, in case you enjoy just watching imminent sex travel across a city. When your sex arrives, check him or her to make sure all your fixins are there and that he or she is still warm. The van driver will wait 45 seconds after delivery for you to send the sex back (having masturbated to the tracker is not refundable cause for sending sex back). Enjoy your sex and remember, once you close your front door we provide no guarantees for your safety/against you falling in love.