Please pardon my naiveté, but being that it's 2014, I just erroneously assumed there were certain matters that we as a society had long-since laid to rest, chief among those being the notion of White Jesus.

Yet there I was sitting in a movie theater, eating popcorn and drinking an orange Coke, watching trailers, when Boom, there he is, in all his Brad Pitt-like chiseled Euro features ... White Jesus! healing lepers, kickin' knowledge, being a martyr, and hitting all the Son of God highlights.

The scientific community already settled this issue. And if that's not good enough, the Evans family settled the issue back in 1974!