Wine Geek Newsletter #85

Plenty for you to get stuck into this week with wine from pre WWII, some party fizz for #newwinethisweek, more fizz in the supermarket deals and some genuinely funny jokes… honest! If that’s not enough for you then you need to go and order a pint of lager from the nearest pub and we’ll say goodbye forever!

New post

I’ve been a bit slack with any original writing of late, but this one was certainly worth waiting for. Domaine Huet in Vouvray is regarded as one of the best producers of Chenin Blanc by anyone who knows anything about wine; this was an amazing opportunity to taste the domaine’s history… beginning with a bottle from the 1934 vintage, which tasted so fresh and full of life it was ridiculous:

Friday 24th October, 7PM to 9PMSuper Fine Wine Tasting – £95West London Wine School, The Wine Cellars, Big Yellow Storage, 71 Townmead Road, Fulham, SW6 2ST
Fancy trying 9 of the very best wines available in a single setting? Great producers including Chateau Lafite-Rothschild, Gaja and JJ Prum? Great communes of Puligny-Montrachet, Vouvray and Napa? Book a place on this amazing tasting while there are still a few tickets left… see you there!

I am so sorry about the poor quality of jokes recently (although I know you love them really!) so here are a few out of the top drawer that really did make me LOL this week!

A man goes to the doctor and says: ‘Doctor, there’s a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.’ The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.The man asks: ‘Is it serious, doctor?’ and the doctor replies: ‘I’m sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.’

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend playing golf with the boys and spending all his wages.When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.After two hours, she stopped nagging and said: ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’ He replied: ‘That would be fine with me.’Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week so he did same tricks over and over. The problem was, the captain’s parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick.He started shouting in the middle of the show: ‘Look, it’s not the same hat. Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?’The magician was furious but, as it was the captain’s parrot, he could do nothing. Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot.They glared at each other but said nothing. Finally, after a week, the parrot said: ‘OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?’

A penguin walks into a shop and asks the assistant: ‘Do you have any grapes?’ ‘No,’ he replies.The same thing happens the next day and on the third day the assistant replies: ‘No, and if you come in asking for grapes again I will nail your flippers to the floor!’Next day the penguin walks in and asks: ‘Got any nails?’ ‘No,’ replies the assistant. ‘Got any grapes?’ the penguin asks.

I stopped at a friend’s house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: ‘Yeah, three males and two females.’Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: ‘Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.’

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I’ve come out in spots like cherries on a cake.Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy.

A man goes to the vet about his dog’s fleas. The vet says: ‘I’m sorry, I’ll have to put this dog down.’ The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: ‘Because he’s far too heavy.’

The boring stuff

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