Childress connects with brother after six decades

Monday

Aug 5, 2013 at 1:00 PMAug 5, 2013 at 1:39 PM

Every once in a while, a story emerges about an individual who discovers a piece of their past that they never knew about. The stories are always touching, but when a scenario like this happens to someone that is well known in the community, the story takes on a personal twist. Barbara Childress recently connected with her brother, Bill, a meeting that will change the rest of her life.

Tammy Knox Of The Carmi Times

Every once in a while, a story emerges about an individual who discovers a piece of their past that they never knew about. The stories are always touching, but when a scenario like this happens to someone that is well known in the community, the story takes on a personal twist. Barbara Childress recently connected with her brother, Bill, a meeting that will change the rest of her life.

Adopted at the age of three from an orphanage in Baltimore, Md., Childress grew up in the very loving home of Carl and Lois Shelton. The couple had a son, Ramon, who was seven at the time of the adoption and the addition of the little girl completed their home.

"Even though I was three, I remember parts of the train ride here," said Childress. "I remember stepping up onto the porch of my parents house and I felt welcomed and loved from the first day. My mother had bought me several frilly dresses, shoes and socks and I remember sitting in the floor playing. I also remember wearing one of those dresses to church the first Sunday and sitting on my dad's lap."

What Childress doesn't remember is the life prior to Carmi. Her mother and father were young, and for a reason only known by them, the decision was made to give her up for adoption and she spent the first three years of her life in the orphanage.

Potential parents would come in to view the children available, but as Childress got older, her chances of being selected were diminishing. An alert social worker recognized most couples were interested in newborns and the window of opportunity to find Childress a home was closing. Somehow, the social worker got connected with the Harrisburg office, which in turn contacted the Sheltons, the next couple on the list.

Although the Sheltons said they wanted her, there was no guarantee they would take the girl in but Childress recalls her parents had no intentions of sending her away once she was in their home.

"I had bad teeth, you couldn't run a comb through my hair and I was very frail," said Shelton. "My mother and dad always told me I was special and that they wanted me."

Childress grew up as any normal child would, and she always knew she was adopted but had no knowledge of where her biological parents were or any history on them. Since Ramon was four years older, he had graduated and moved onto the next phase of his life before Childress got into high school.

Ramon has achieved much success during his life. He was in the Air Force for 26 years. Ramon was a Lt. Colonel selectee when he retired. During his Air Force career, he worked in aircraft maintenance, logistics plans and program management. His last job was director of logistics and financial management for Low Observable Programs at the Pentagon.

After Ramon retired from the Air Force, he went to work for Boeing. While at Boeing, he worked in engineering, business development, program management and finance. His last job was director of financial management for the National Missile Defense Division in Anaheim, Calif. He eventually retired for good in January 2000.

Although his career has taken him away from southern Illinois, Ramon has stayed close and in contact with Childress. He now resides in Arizona and Childress has great admiration and respect for her older brother, Ramon.

"I would not want to trade my childhood growing up with my brother, Ramon, and my adopted parents," said Childress. "My parents told me daily how much they loved me."

The Sheltons stressed love and support for both Ramon and Childress at all times and as Childress grew older, she recognized that trait more and more.

"My dad was the city clerk for 24 years and had his office in the back of our restaurant, Sweetlands, which was located where H.D. Bean Jewelers is now," said Childress. "My friends and I would come in every day for lunch. My mom and dad were so caring. I had two of my close friends that lived with us in high school. That's just the type of people they were."

Following high school, Childress married Wallace Childress, who worked as an electrician in the coal mines for 27 years before his retirement. Childress is also retired from The Carmi Times where she worked in sales for 32 years. The couple has two children, Mark and Marla.

Mark resides in the Chicago area and is employed with CDW. He is married to Carmi native Lori Tillman, who works for Abbott, and the couple has one child, Gavin, who is seven.

The couple's daughter, Marla, lives a little closer to home in Newburgh, Ind. She and her husband, Steve Webb, have five children, Haleigh, age 23, Sidnee, age 18, Drake, age 15, Grant, age six, and Gia, age three. Steve is a coal miner in Princeton, Ind. and Marla oversees a Website geared toward info for activities for children called Macaroni Kids in the Evansville, Ind. and Owensboro, Ky. areas.

Marla began asking Childress about medical history when her first child was born, but Childress never really thought about pursuing it. It wasn't until the sixth grandchild, Gia, turned three years old that questions began to pop into Childress' mind about her own childhood.

"When Gia turned three, I had been thinking I was her age when I was taken to a strange home, so I asked Ramon when he was here in May if I was scared," said Childress. "He told me yes, but they (the family) started immediately playing with me and showing me all the frilly dresses."

Childress had met her father, Carl, at The Coffee Shop for lunch one day and informed him she had an interest in knowing more about her biological family. Her dad told her that her biological dad was stationed in Baltimore, Md. and they were from Joliet. From what he understood, the couple gave Childress up because while in Baltimore, she had become pregnant and they did not want their family back in Joliet to know.

That bit of information stayed with Childress. When her dad passed away, one of the final things she got to say to him stays with her today.

"I told my dad I was so lucky you and mother got me," said Childress. "My dad replied, 'no, we were the lucky ones'."

After his passing, Childress and Ramon went to the lock box and found the adoption papers with the names Matthew William Arnold and Mary Arnold on it. She immediately began to "Google" for information about Matthew William Arnold, but nothing came up.

"Ramon said he was not surprised I starting looking," said Childress. "He said as I got older, I began asking more questions."

Those questions were still unanswered until this past May. Childress put in the name Matthew William Arnold one more time on a Friday evening and an obituary for Mary Ruth Arnold appeared. The obituary had all types of family information on it, including children's names and grandchildren. Marla became involved and began connecting the dots through Facebook, eventually landing a telephone number for one of the grandchildren, who turned out to be Childress' brother Bill's son.

The next few days went by like a whirlwind. Once the initial phone call was made on a Monday and the reasoning behind the message was relayed, Childress was contacted a few days later by a man who asked two questions: what is your birth date and where were you born. Childress gave him that information, and a whole new world opened up for her.

Following a few phone calls, a meeting was set up between Wallace and Barbara Childress and Bill in June. They agreed to meet at Cracker Barrel in Joliet. Their meeting could not have gone better. They began catching up on time lost and learning their differences and similarities as siblings. Bill even commented to Childress, "You look just like mom."

Once dinner was completed, the Childress' accompanied Bill to the gravesites of her biological mother and father. There, she learned more about the family that she never knew about and learned more about her mother and the life she led with her father. Bill told Childress he was born in Eldorado and that his mother was born in the old Slave House in Equality.

The connection between Childress and Bill continues to grow each day. The two talk on the phone almost daily and the Childress family is awaiting Bill's first trip to Carmi. Her kids have also connected with Bill, and utilize social media sites such as Facebook to exchange pleasantries and photos of their lives.

"From the first phone conservation with my new found brother, Bill, we have stayed in contact almost daily," said Childress. "The day we met at Cracker Barrel in Joliet we clicked immediately. The day could not have gone better. Bill has reminded me a number of times, 'This was meant to be.' People can talk down about Facebook and I agree it can be misused, but if it hadn't been for Facebook, along with the help of God, we wouldn't have found each other."

If Childress had never discovered her past, she would have lived a full, satisfying life. However, the addition of new family members at this stage is only an added bonus. Her time on earth is now more complete and she is displaying a trait she learned from Carl and Lois Shelton. Always have open arms and always surround oneself with family and friends, regardless of the journey.

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