28 month old regression

I used the three day method for my ODD at the beginning of February, 2013. She was pretty much accident free by day four. I thought we were in the clear as she was day/night/nap trained all at once. She was pretty much good for 7-8 weeks (~2 months) and then I had my second DD and ODD had a major regression. I had expected it a bit, but now it has been almost 5 months and we are still having issues!

She is now 28 months and is very tall so she just recently learned how to hop off the potty by herself. During the day, she can go several hours accident free then she tells me she needs to go (or starts to wiggle so I take her), but the moment she's on the potty she cries/screams and kicks until she gets down. Then, pees on the floor 2 seconds after she's down. This always results in a tantrum with her stomping and splashing in a pee puddle, and me having to bathe her countless times a day. I can hold her down on the potty but she still kicks and cries and refuses to go.

She also started (the last few weeks) refusing to poop in the potty. She hides under places where I can't reach her/get to her and then comes out saying "oh no! Poo poo in panties!"

Now, the mystery of this whole thing is that this is all only for me. She never does this when DH is home to take her, or even when I've had a few friends take her. He doesn't understand why she does this (or how horrible my days are with her!) and doesn't really have any ideas for me.

I'm just exhausted. I don't want to keep battling this for more months or even years. I practice gentle attachment parenting, but this isn't gentle to any one involved. YDD is suffering because of it and she starts to cry often while I'm trying to deal with these long pee tantrums. ODD is obviously suffering. And I feel like I have lost my patience and am at the end of my stick with this situation.

She has always been an extremely high needs child and is very sensitive. She cries at the smallest things, and so bigger things like this cause tantrums that can last up to an hour even.

I'm a SAHM, and have a chronic illness that causes a lot of dizziness, fatigue and nausea. It is exacerbated by stress, and I think the stress from this daily is part of my issue right now.

We've never gone back to diapers, and I don't want to (plus we couldn't even if we wanted to because we CD and only have enough for one child). I tried rewards again, every distraction in the book, and don't know what else to do. It feels like a lose lose situation. Any advice?

Comments (4)

I was EXACTLY where you are 3 months ago, at the same age (she is now 31 mo). Except she has no siblings and I couldn't find a causative factor until the other day it dawned on me it was right around the time her dad started showing his face a LOT less (im a single mom, went from once or twice a week to suddenly about once a month, ugh) so that might have been a factor?

Anyway, I was not strong. I am a full time nursing student and had soooo much going on ( I had to go full time in the summer too) that after a couple weeks I literally gave up and tried pullups (never used them b4 we went straight to panties) and it just made us both lazy about it.

We started "retraining" this past friday and it is going GREAT! The "potty fairy" came and took all her diapers.

So, no advice, but I get it. Just try to remain as patient as possible and don't give in to diapers! It was just a battle of will with my dd and sadly I let her win lol

So sorry you are going thru this!! My DD regressed too, but doesn't sound as bad. Definitely sounds like she doesn't like all the attention you are giving the baby. Maybe use that to your advantage. Remind her that big girls go in potty and babies go in their pants. Then tell her all the things big girls can do that babies can't - play with big kid toys, watch tv, eat cookies and ice cream, etc, whatever you can think of. Keep rewarding successes like crazy! And try, as hard as it is, to not make a big deal about accidents. Cause it sounds like you spend a lot of time with her when she has an accident, so she is getting your attention, so she will keep doing it. Make the clean up as quick as possible, I know you're probably already trying to. Make her clean it up. And maybe as part of reward for success is you doing something with her, giving her your attention - right after do a puzzle with her, or snuggle and read a book, something like that. As hard as it is just try to muster thru and stay consistent so she knows you aren't giving in to her and potty is not optional. Good luck!

It sounds like she is jealous and is trying to get more attention from you, esp. since she doesn't do this with other people.

I would do like PP said and reward with attention and back off when temper tantrums start. Show her that temper tantrums do not equal more mommy time. If you are worried about her throwing herself down and hurting herself during these tantrums, put her in a safe place such as a pack and play. Once she's calmed down, explain to her what is going on and let her know that tantrums are not acceptable. Also, make sure you are spending quality time every day with her without the baby around. During baby's nap or even when DH gets home he can watch baby while you and her have quality time.

lbahrt21: I am a nurse (BSN) so I feel you on the stress of nursing school! You gotta do what you can to lessen the stress! Glad it went better this next time around!

I am certain she is jealous of the baby. This often happens right as I'm nursing the baby down for a nap. I usually try to make her go right when the baby is getting sleepy, but that usually results in her screaming making the baby extra cranky and then both of them screaming inconsolably for 30+ min. If I don't choose to do that she will almost always have an "accident" on the floor just as baby is drifting off ( I have to lay next to her for ~10 min before I can get up since she's used to cosleeping). So I have to get up, clean it all up and then start over with the baby. It feels like some days that's all that gets done.

I did just recently start making her help clean it up (especially if she poops in her underwear--I make her lift the panties and dump it in the potty) but she just laughs and says "ewww grossy!" Then she tries to tell me it was our cat who peed on the floor--crazy kid!

I've been reading a lot of tips on dealing with tantrums lately and a lot of people mention the 1:1 time. I talked to my DH this morning and we are going to start making that happen. Going to try at least 20 min 3x a week.

It is definitely an emotional thing. Last night we went to a fair and she held it for close to four hours! But today, they were both getting sleepy for nap time so I took her into the potty after she asked but she just screamed and cried and refused to pee. The baby was upset because of her screaming so I had to take the baby out of the bathroom and close the door. ODD hopped off the potty and then peed on the floor and when I went back in she was stomping in the puddle so I had to bathe her. To top all of those tears off, I was in the process of remaking the bed because she had peed on the sheets this am and I had to wash them...