Dear Mama: The Good and the Bad

Yes, LP here. I think it is really sort of unfair that I’m completely dependent on you to write my letters for me. I mean, you’re writing a letter to yourself, from me, but you’re not me. Does that strike you as problematic? Just sayin’.

The good stuff or the bad stuff first? Good stuff? Ok.

I mean, how cute are we??? Nevermind that we ate those crackers on your bed while you were in the bathroom. Just remember, enjoy the cuteness.

You’re doing alright. As in, I know that you spend a lot of time worrying about us, and thinking about our futures, but try not to go too far. Because let’s be real here—we’re not likely to appreciate all the stuff you do for us until maybe twenty years from now. And that is being optimistic. You’re in it for the long game, mama. Before long, my sissies and I will be self-centered, hormonal, young people who are too busy figuring out their own crap to stop and appreciate what went into getting us there. Plus, some of the crap we’ll be busy trying to figure out will be from you (just being real again). Seriously, it’ll all work out, promise.

How do I know that we’ll become too busy to notice you? Because look at Mouse and Chipmunk, they’ve already started! They’re too busy in their imaginary lands and dealing with their dramas to even notice you lately! They notice me puuulenty though. Have you seen how often I have to play the evil pirate, or they end up making me into the pet dog/cat/rabbit? It’s just not dignified.

Don’t make me do this again. Seriously.

Another good thing, life seems good right now. You’re not taking me to any more sleep studies, because my sleep apnea is now mild (I told you so). The whole homeschooling thing is looking good. I can tell you and dad are dreaming and talking about the future, and that looks good too. Mouse and Chipmunk are awesome (let’s just pretend that this is more often than not for the sake of this cute letter). Me? I won’t brag here, but let’s just say that I’m on top of things. That poop? It gets pooped. That box of stuff? It gets emptied. That silence? It gets filled with yelling sweet babbles. All thanks to yours truly. You’re very welcome, mama, it is really good to know that all my hard work doesn’t go unnoticed!

Ok. Now. I’ve got some, um… constructive feedback for you. This bed/sleep situation. Come on. That bed has no boobs, no cuddles, no parents to kick in my sleep, no sleeping noses to pick when I wake up. WTF, right? Why would I want to sleep in there? What’s worse, you put me in those sleep sack thingies, and they get all twisted up while I’m rolling around yelling my head off for you to let me into your bed. Look. You and dad are sleeping on that nice memory foam pad, with the down comforter, and all you give me is a sleep sack??? I already gave up most of my nursing at night. I object.

I know that I slept through the night at two months, blah blah blah. Let’s remember, though, that my thyroid didn’t work so well back then. I mean, I’m just trying to recapture the quintessential baby experience. Yelling, and seeing the horrified look on your tired face as you come and bring me to your soft, warm, wonderful bed. Listening to you and dad argue in the middle of the night about what to do about me. Sitting triumphantly on your head with a dirty diaper, each morning I manage to wheedle my way into bed with you. Are you truly going to deny me this? What kind of mother are you?

Ok, sorry. Maybe that went a little too far. Just ride it out, ok? I’ll probably get over it. Like in a couple of years. Maybe five. Ten, maaax.

Let’s talk about that therapist. I know she comes over to watch me do stuff. I know y’all have discussed me crawling differently. Something about crawling and brain development. Check it—there is no way you’re going to get me to do something I don’t want to do! Just because I have this sweet disposition doesn’t mean that I won’t put my foot down. And it is down, mama. I will play with her awesome toys. I will “talk” to her. I will even let her hold me, because I happen to like her. I might even high five her every now and then. That’s it, though. I crawl the way I do because it works, dagnabbit.

Last but not least, let’s talk about baths. I. Will. Never. Like. Baths.

Nevah evah.

I know you think I’ll get used to them because all my baby friends have. When I’m a teenager and I’m begging you for some expensive gadget because all my friends have them I’m pretty sure you’ll say something about me not being the same as my friends. Yup. Touche. You’d think that because I was born in the caul, I’d have some kind of affinity for water. Yeah, I know, that confuses me too. I have no explanation; I am what I am.

Just a cute picture of me in a box. Notice, I look happy, and I’m not in a bath.

So, mama, that is my letter to you. A wee snapshot of what life is like in my brain after 14 months of life. Except it is your brain. Pretending to be my brain. You really should think about that stuff I said in the first paragraph. Mwah.

Love,

LP

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23 Comments on “Dear Mama: The Good and the Bad”

Ah, sweet! You bring back so many lovely/overwhelming memories….They really do outgrow that “Must sleep with you” phase, I promise. Then you kinda miss them. Then you get a dog….What beautiful, beautiful kids, all three of them!

Aw, thank you! It is so hard to have perspective when you’re in the middle of it! Even though both my other kids eventually made it out of this phase, this time seems sooooo long! I’ll miss the cuddles. Not so much the kicking!

Oh man, LP. Cora always wanted to sleep with us too. She still does, more than half the night, and is only at 3 down to maybe 2-3 wakings. Never has slept through the night. If I had anything tangible to show for the hours my husband and I have discussed, I mean argued about it…. And crawling? Yep, she started crawling for fun after walking at almost 3. I figure it’d better than nothing. But it sounds like you are doing awesome! And how lucky are you to have 2 cool big sisters!

Ha! I didn’t know that about her walking an crawling! Honestly, kids are going to be who they are going to be. I think the whole “parenting” thing might be a big ol’ delusion. We are clearly not the ones in charge!

Typical, wonderful babyhood. You go, LP. Most of us little ones pull that same routine and it works….because it makes sense. When they pull out the testing equipment, it gets gnarly. You question whether all those warm snuggly nights are worth it, and then you think, “Yes. Yes, they are.” And you carry on with that nightime stuff for a little while longer, even though those looks that Mom and Dad exchange are a little off-putting. You wish they would get it…..you’re fine. You won’t be little forever. That great day will come. And many more. It’s just that all these “stages” last longer in us kids that are different. Hold steady, bro. They love you just the way you are. Give them a break every now and then. From your bro Max, now 26. I still don’t sleep well at night, but it’s because I love XBOX 360 and midnight snacks and being alone for a while in this busy house. You will too. And about the baths….Dude, they are awesome if you sit securely and have toys and a sibling in there. Trust me.

I could have written that sleep paragraph!! My almost 23 month old still comes into bed with me at midnight every night. I’m sure he’ll eventually grow out of it and then I’ll miss him so trying to make the most of it…even when I’m exhausted!! Such a sweet letter x

LP, you must immediately move to Japan where your parents will have to buy you your own futon, which will lie next to theirs, but which you will never sleep on. It’s quite convenient. You just roll, crawl, scoot from your own to theirs, take the good pillows, the good blankets, and the best space. I’m four and it still works!

When mom and dad took me to Japan and Korea I experienced this awesome futon business as well! The best part is when you wake up, you get the run of the house! Too bad they won’t take all three of us back there. Something about the cost of four international plane tickets? Whatever. Frankly, I feel bad for LP. They were way bigger softies with me. Poor dude.

Hi LP….. nice tricks getting into Mummy’s and Daddy’s bed. ;-) There is one thing that is really great about staying in your own bed though: you are allowed tons of stuffed animals to keep with you in there… I have a whole zoo in my bed… so when they think I am sleeping, I am actually having great conversations with them… Plus is gives you a great excuse for extra attention… when some of them are “lost” and you need help to find them. ;-) Cheers, the zoo keeper.

I’d better get started on my own zoo! I like having my own conversations, too, but having actual animals would help a lot! I dunno why my parents never thought of this. It is neglectful, really. ;) Love, LP