100 Reasons Why "Ignition - Remix" Is So Damned Great

What does this song have in common with the original "Ignition" besides some lyrical similarities, chiefly the really awful "stick my key in the ignition" vagina/woman = car thing? How is a completely different song on every level a remix?

You have to hear the two side by side on the album for it to really click.

113) How slow is this damn song? You can't mix it with anything. The party slows down like bullet time when the man walks in.

114) Said party is suspiciously like a gender-segregated seventh grade dance: fellas on the left, honeys on the right. The ringmaster's job is to bring them together.

115) Stretch Navigator...yes, a simple Navigator isn't enough to contain this party; however, all overt bling (Cristal, Nav) is strictly throwaway in the verses. The important stuff is in the chorus. Toot toot.

116) *Freakin'?* Who says freakin'? It's like he just finished watching Goodfellas and Casino on broadcast television before he wrote the chorus.

The Blazing Squad guy was just mixing a garage record over the R. Kelly at what sounded pretty much like its original speed. Not sure what the bpm of the R. Kelly is but it's very slow so it might well be an almost exact half of a typical garage tempo, say 140->70.

This song is seriously one of the worst things on the radio right now. Worse than A Simple Plan. Worse than the new Live single. Worse than the enervated, uninvolving Black Eyed Peas/JT single. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever and every time it comes on the radio I always want to beat R Kelly about the head and shoulders with a bat for the intervening seconds it takes for me to lunge across the room and switch the station.

The beat is horrible. There's no meat or presence to it whatsoever. It doesn't even try to work a mellow groove; it just sits there and farts along like a senile gassy grandmother. R Kelly's singing cadence is HELLA ANNOYING in this song; it's like he's doing a Wierd Al parody of himself with every vestige of humor carefully excised with surgical precision. The song itself is dumb even by R. Kelly standards; the robo-delivery highlights this in the worst possible way.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE IT HAS THE WORST CHORUS ON THE RADIO. Even Eminem's deeply-embarassing yelping in "Sing For The Moment" is better than this shit. Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

There's no law against him intruding into 'your' thread. I like it when people ignore the petty strictures of thread makers. You can always edit out his comment when/if you revise your web page if you think it spoils the 'momentum' (oh and because his post didn't have a number, let's not forget that).

128. I mean, freakin weekend? finally. Like so what I'm drunk. I just had some shitty time, around tuesday, there was like one thousand plus people outside the courthouse and I thought, oh um, damn, and how can I get outta this, am I getting outta this. Wednesday afternoon a fed ex came, fed-exed, saw a copy of the videotape, why did I make that goddamn videotape, and it was hot, but, you know. why. and thursday met with lawyers, whole team of them bleedin me dry, goddamn, they bleedin me dry, and will get me off, will get me off. and friday the deposition did not go well DID NOT GO WELL, so I came home and ironed creases into my jeans and popped in a 5 carat stone into my ear ($50,000), and hit the ride, and hit the poolside, and hit the coke and rum, and hit the bitches (remind me of my Lexus), and hit the bar, and now here I am in the lobby, and oh yeah like so what I'm drunk.

Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

134. I haven't heard this song in a few weeks (I want to listen to it now!) but reading through this thread brings the whole beautiful thing back. (Also, as someone who's only recently started listening to Top 40 radio again, that's how I knew it was a good song: after I heard it once, it was in my head all the damn time.)

135. I was just singing it a few minutes ago with a 21-year-old African-American girl I work with. She sang most of it; I did some bass harmony on "after party" and "hotel lobby."

137) "we just thuggin this out" is 2003's "dancin, yeah, real hardcore" from the dodger's "rewind"...hardman sentiments pressed into the service of the soppiest mid-tempo fluff of the year, crooned in ultra-sucrose swingbeat style

138. (oh alright then). Dan he means (I think) those periodic beefy snare rolls that, as well as giving an exciting lift at various points, also serve to fill in the gap between 'and' and 'somebody' on the last line of the last verse).

140) also, "rewind" had the benefit of being one of the first "out front" singles of a New! Now! genre...kelly's single is a total genre-exercise (on the surface, anyway) making his victory that much sweeter, since he's not got the subtly-avant-garde/underground angle to work