Last week, a man named Robbie Tripp posted a photo of his “curvy” wife Sarah to Instagram. In the accompanying caption, he applauded himself for not only ascending above years of being teased for preferring “fat” and “chubby” women, but for putting a ring on it.

Tripp wrote, “As I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart.”

The post quickly went viral, with the internet taking one of either two sides: congratulating Tripp for being so “brave” as to love a woman with “thick thighs,” or dragging him for daring to pat himself on the back as though being attracted to a woman with a “big booty” was an extraordinary accomplishment.

Tripp makes his statement both a sermon to his fellow man — to love women as they are – and woman — to appreciate themselves no matter what size they come in, “stretch marks,” “booty dimples” and all.

But for women, simply put, it’s offensive to be told by a man that we don’t “have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are.” It kind of defeats the purpose and reinforces the exact thing Tripp seems to think he’s conquering with his gallant public decree.

It may have started with good intentions, but Tripp comes across as seeking some form of validation to combat his long-held insecurities, ideally through that winning combo of comments and double-taps on social media. He wanted to hear that, yes, he is brave, he did what most men cannot do, he –

It’s an extension of the nice guy syndrome, playing the “aw shucks” card to show us he cares, unlike all those other alpha men out there. Tripp is essentially masking his approval-seeking by pegging it onto “issues such as feminism.” Except he isn’t getting one up on sexism by generously providing his wife value through deeming her attractive despite all odds.

A woman is not defined by her value to a man, and is much more than her body. And so, dating a perfectly average woman (or man) whose appearance does not fit the norm is no heroic task. It does not warrant a medal, because it’s really just dating someone. And if you feel like you deserve some special recognition for simply being with a particular person, I’m going to go out on a limb and presume you’re not the most tolerant person in the relationship.