Friday, June 08, 2007

Sparkle Ponies are Go!Otherwise known as, kiss my sparkly ass.

Kim has a brilliant post up about a certain article in Bitch magazine Everyone should read it. Funny and informative. She’s right, you know. This stuff is bad for the movement. And yes, I know that everyone who’s not a radfem has been FORBIDDEN! Did you hear that, FORBIDDEN to talk shit about radfems, but you know what? I don’t care.

See, here’s the problem. As far as the general public is concerned? That IS feminism. Bitching about make-up and clothing and children’s toys and how people have sex – that’s what feminism is all about as far as most people are concerned.

Now, those of us who’re actually involved in the movement know damn well that’s not what it’s really about. I don’t give a shit what any other woman wears or who she fucks as long as she genuinely wants to make the world a better place. There are lots of ways to go about making the world a better place, and lots of different stuff that people can focus on, which is cool, people being individuals with different priorities and all.

HOWEVER…some issues are quite clearly more pressing than others. Helping victims of domestic violence escape dangerous situations and get on with their lives? Important. Providing counseling to rape victims, and working to raise awareness of how common rape is and why that’s a bad thing? Also important. Making sure that all women are able to exercise control over their reproductive abilities, and that means being able to HAVE kids if they want them as well as being able to NOT have kids if they don’t want them? Really fucking important.

Imagine you were a young person who knew nothing about feminism, and the article Kim fisked was the first feminist-identified thing you ever saw. What impression of the movement would you take away? Would you think that feminism was worth taking seriously? If you were a woman, would you think that feminism was in any way relevant to your life? Or would you be thinking “You, woman who I do not know, are fucking nuts. Whatever you have been huffing, please stop. It’s clearly not good for you.”. You’d be thinking “what kind of stupid, pointless movement is this?”. And you’d be right.

I mean seriously…the person who wrote that thinks that My Little Pony toys look like animated kiddy porn? Did she see an episode of Sailor Moon and somehow mistake it for porn? Has she seen any actual porn, ever? Or any actual anime porn, which is way freakier than even the freakiest live-action stuff? Because hey, I’m pretty kinky, and even I’m having a hard time imagining how anyone could depict those toys as pornographic. Has she ever seen a horse, either? Horses really do have rumps that are higher than their chests and shoulders, and they have some of the biggest asses in the animal kingdom. Big muscular ass plus long skinny legs equals a creature that can run really fast. One does not need a conspiracy theory to explain this.

And then there’s the anorexic part of the article. Um, forgive me for pointing this out, but by equine standards My Little Ponies are positively zaftig. I’ve never seen a real horse with legs that short and chunky. Also, when did it become acceptable to use “anorexic” as a general pejorative with a nice little implication of sluttiness on the side?

Of course there’s an argument to be made about toys for girls versus toys for boys and how very different they are and what message that sends. If people want to make that argument, fine, let’s talk about that, but could we drop the extraneous bullshit and focus on the real issues? Please?

And another thing…those toys are marketed at horsy girls. I happen to know quite a few horsy girls. I rode horses myself when I was younger – hey, I can even jump! And I still have the pants and the nifty little jacket!

You know what’s interesting about horsy girls? Not the most patriarchy-compliant of girls in general. Rather more independent of spirit and physically adventurous than is generally perceived as appropriate for a girl. Riding horses can be a downright liberating experience for a girl. It teaches a sense of one’s own competence and ability to master difficult skills. It teaches girls to be at ease in their own bodies. It teaches that a being of small stature is not necessarily at the mercy of a being of much greater stature. It also teaches interdependence rather than codependence, working together to achieve goals. It is, overall, a good thing for the girls involved.

The author is sort of right in one way, though, even though she sniffed something out and then completely misinterpreted it. For many girls there really IS something sexual about riding horses, it’s just not at all what she thinks. A lot of girls get into riding precisely because they love the feeling of being in control of a creature much larger than themselves. There’s a reason we use the word “riding” for sex too, you know. I honestly wonder how many toppy women first realized just how toppy they were as a result of learning to ride a horse. I will also point out that many women say that they rarely or ever experience orgasm. The horsy or formerly horsy women I know? Not so much. Learning to feel comfortable in your own body and take control of something 10 times your size has many interesting fringe benefits.

And no, random lurking weird guys, I do not mean that the women fuck the horses. It’s a symbolic thing.

You know the funniest part of all this? I hate My Little Pony and always have. At one point I convinced myself that the reason for that was that I was a feminist and they were oppressive to women in some mysterious way. Then I grew up and grew a brain.

I don’t hate My Little Pony because I’m a feminist, I hate it because I’m a goth and a punk and a metalhead. I loathe all things pastel and sparkly. It has nothing to do with politics, it’s an aesthetic preference. Those of us who are rational adults learn to distinguish between the two.

I think there’s a lot of that going on in radfem circles, people going “hey, I really hate X and it annoys the crap out of me, and I am a feminist, therefore the reason I hate X must be because it’s anti-woman”. This is sloppy thinking. One can always invent some grandiose theory to support one’s preferences, but in the end many preferences really are just preferences. I don’t hate pastels because I’m a feminist, I just hate pastels, period. I am drawn to things that are dark and spooky and primal because that’s my nature. Not everything is about politics. People have individual preferences and personalities, and that’s OK. The problem comes when people start extrapolating “I hate X and find it offensive” to mean “therefore X is oppressive to women as a whole and it must be stopped!”. One of my best friends loves all things pink and sparkly. I think she’s nuts and tease her about her desire to be Kylie Minogue when she grows up. She thinks my love for all things dark and spooky is weird and teases me about my dark gothy lipstick. So what? People are ALLOWED to be different. Some of us actually kind of get a kick out of those differences.

So, back to the main point. I think that all this focus on trivial shit is damaging to the movement. Not only is it a distraction from the more urgent issues, it’s bad PR. Think that feminism doesn’t need PR and that we should be above such worldly concerns? Guess again! I’ve lost count of how many younger women have told me that they don’t consider themselves feminists and feel that the movement has nothing to offer them right after telling me that they care about all the things that feminism is actually supposed to be about. Does this not strike anyone as a problem? Like it or not, every movement needs to be aware of how it present itself to outsiders, and every movement needs fresh blood. If a movement is presenting itself in such a way that no fresh blood is forthcoming, that movement is going to die a slow, painful death. Is that really what we want? Are those of us of the “I’m a feminist, not the nuts kind” variety willing to sit back and watch that happen?

5 comments:

"Riding horses can be a downright liberating experience for a girl. It teaches a sense of one’s own competence and ability to master difficult skills. It teaches girls to be at ease in their own bodies. It teaches that a being of small stature is not necessarily at the mercy of a being of much greater stature. It also teaches interdependence rather than codependence, working together to achieve goals. It is, overall, a good thing for the girls involved."

Hey, well said! I believe riding is THE only sport in which women and men are physically equal as well. Pretty cool, ey?

Is there something "sexual" about riding? Hmmm. I've never come to close to an orgasm in the saddle, but ever since I was a kid, there were times when I would literally physically ache to be on a horse. I would need it so bad, I'd be in tears. There's definately something primal and visceral about riding for me, a ture "gotta have it" thing.

Kim - I haven't ridden in years, and it pains me. I can't find a place to do so that I'm happy with. The couple of stables I visited here were so badly run and full of such poorly cared for, unhappy looking horses that I couldn't bear to be around them. I wanted to smack the staff around and kidnap the horses, but I don't have anywhere to keep them.

Riding is unusual in how much is evens the scale between men and women, isn't it? And in how oddly symbiotic it is? Then again, I tend to think that people learn how to be decent human beings by developing relationships with animals rather a lot.

I'm not sure that I'm explaining what I mean by a sexual thing very well. It's about power, really. The fact that you're looking down at everything is part of it. It may only make sense to someone who's toppy. We'll see if Trin stumbles on this and if it makes sense to her.

Former horse girl here, and yeah, we do tend to say 'screw you and your patriarchy'. There's something very empowering about being astride a horse that's rearing and trying to throw you off and managing to hold your own, get the beast under control and have everyone riding with you tell you how awesome that was to watch.

I remember very vividly the time my horse tried to toss me onto the highway. I thought he was going to kill me and yet, I stayed in control. It was awesome. Plus, frankly, my thighs have never been as incredible as they were when I was riding ;)

And it is 'sexual' in a way, in that sense of power and control and understanding that your body is capable of so much more than you give it credit for.

Of course there’s an argument to be made about toys for girls versus toys for boys and how very different they are and what message that sends. If people want to make that argument, fine, let’s talk about that, but could we drop the extraneous bullshit and focus on the real issues? Please?

exactly.

I wonder if Bitch knew that this was how it was going to end up, when they greenlighted the article on MLP.

"I will also point out that many women say that they rarely or ever experience orgasm. The horsy or formerly horsy women I know? Not so much. Learning to feel comfortable in your own body and take control of something 10 times your size has many interesting fringe benefits."

Yep, I completely agree here. I took horseback riding lessons for three years, love horses, love how strong it made my legs, and feel far FAR more comfortable sexually than I did before I was a 'horsy woman.'

About Me

I'm a progressive, left-wing Brit living in California. I used to be a high-tech sales guru, but got tired of that and am now thinking about going back to school to get a Masters in Journalism. My undergrad is in Psychology, but I have never used this in any constructive way. This is typical for me.
I grew up mostly in the Middle East, was educated at a very fancy Scottish boarding school, moved to London at 18, and have lived in the Bay Area for the past 8 years. I am now suffering from a serious case of itchy feet, and am feeling that 8 years is quite long enough to stay in one place. Again, this is typical. If anyone really wants to figure me out they should Google "third culture" - I fit the prototype pretty closely. If any other Third Culture kids happen to stumble across this blog, write to me. There aren't very many of us.