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Now that you have had ample time (thanks to the flu!) to ponder verse 12, its time for me to (finally) weigh in!

“She brings him good, not harm, she comforts and encourages him and she is never spiteful, as long as she has breath to breathe.”

I have so many thoughts about this, I’m not even sure where to start, so let’s take the logical route, word by word.

“She brings him good, not harm…”

You know, I don’t walk around slapping Mr. And, I’ve never poisoned his food. So, I must not be bringing him harm, right? Perfect. Got that covered.

Next.

“…she comforts and encourages him…”

Well, when he is sick, I take care of him. And, I clap at his softball games. I think I have this verse down. Go Me!!

“…and she is never spiteful…”

Crap. You got me.

Spiteful. Hmmm. I know what spiteful means. Or, at least I thought I did. So, I decided to look it up, to see what it stirred in me. Wanna know the definition of spiteful?

Spiteful: full of spite

You’re welcome.

No, seriously.

Spiteful: filled with a (usually petty) desire to harm, annoy, frustrate, or humiliate another person

Which, brings me to my next point.

Upon first reading this passage, I honestly thought, You know, I might not be the nicest wife ever, but I’m not that bad. But, now I am looking at this definition, and I am seeing it in a whole new light.

How often do we allow ourselves to bring our husbands (emotional, physical, spiritual) harm, because of our attitudes?

Let me tell you a little secret about myself. Lean in a little, I don’t want to have to say it too loudly.

*ahem*

I… might…

No, lean a little bit closer… That’s better.

I… *might*… be…a…

…

LittleBitPassiveAgressive.

But, shhhhhh. Don’t tell.

So, I am notorious for doing things like, asking Mr. to take out the garbage. If he doesn’t, I repeat myself. If he doesn’t again, I repeat myself, annoyed. If he still doesn’t, I move it to the middle of the hallway, so that he trips over it in the dark, having to clean up a bunch of trash, thinking the whole time, Gee, my wife was right… I *should* have taken this out last night.

Here is the problem. It’s not, at all, even in the least bit, not a smidgen, effective.

I’ve often wondered, “Why?”.

I think I finally have my answer. My attitude.

By doing things like that, I bring my husband (emotional) harm. A better attitude would be to remind myself that he spends all day at work, and he would like to rest for a minute with his kids before doing chores. I would be willing to bet, that if I started simply asking him to take it out, and then waiting for him to do so, and then when he walked in from taking out the garbage, I hugged him and thanked him for being so helpful, I would most likely see better results. And guess what else? I just encouraged him to be a better husband!

Instead of reprimanding him, pray for him. Instead of reminding him, praise him. Instead of _______________, LOVE him. What word can you fill in there? What action will you replace it with?

I’m going to be honest here, for a second.

Going through these verses the first time, I just kept thinking, I am an awful wife. But, upon further thought and prayer, I have changed my attitude. I now keep thinking, I am so excited to finally become the wife my husband deserves!

Oh, and remember, it’s not just when its EASY. It’s as long as you have breath to breathe.

Here are some points to look at when applying this verse.

Would praying for him be more beneficial than scolding him?

How have you encouraged your husband TODAY?

What actions should you apologize for that you have done today?

What brings about a poor attitude in your toward your husband, and what verse will you recite to yourself while you ask the Lord to change that in you?

Now go pray for your husband, and your attitude!

What from our Proverbs 31 series have you applied, and what changes have you seen?! Let’s hear some testimonies as to how God is changing your marriage through you! Let me know in the comments!

We are just a few days in on our Proverbs 31 Challenge. Today we are diving into verse 12, which says, “She brings him good, not harm, she comforts and encourages him and she is never spiteful, as long as she has breath to breathe.”

Wow. As long as she has breath to breathe. That’s incredible. Not, “as long as she is having a good day” or “as long as it’s easy”. Nope. As long as she has breath to breathe.Seriously. I can’t get over the depth of that. Putting aside what it is we are supposed to be doing, the immense dedication that “as long as she has breath to breath” takes is astounding. As long as I have breath to breathe.

I feel very strongly that this specific verse needs more than one day’s worth of attention. So, I actually have an assignment for you, and I will be back on Monday to follow up.

Your job this weekend is to constantly be praying, Lord, give me the desire and ability to be the best wife, mother, and woman that I possibly can be as long as You give me breath to breathe. Not just when it’s easy. Not just when things are going perfectly. Lord, give me unconditional love for (husband’s name), as you have shown love to me. Amen.

My heart feels so strongly that I, personally, need to better about this. I am not taking an entire weekend for you, my readers and fellow women, but for me. For me to change my heart toward my husband. But, take advantage of it, and let the Lord change your heart, too.

I have recently had many friends come to me, complaining about their husbands and marriages, and their children. Then, in return, as a woman, I also complain about my husband and marriage, and my children. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my husband. Is he perfect? Actually, yes. He is. He is perfect for me. Does this mean he never makes mistakes? No. He makes mistakes all the time. But, then again, so do I.

The issue isn’t how many mistakes a person makes in a day, the issue is how you are reacting.

I, for one, am a perfect example of crazy, raving lunatic.

I ask Mr., “Can you please take out the trash?”

If it isn’t done in the next 5 minutes, I resort to, “Seriously… can you please take the overflowing, nasty, stinky trash out?!”

5 more minutes pass, “ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TAKE THE FLIPPING TRASH OUT?!?!?!?!” *Insert stomping, flailing and hysterics.*

Why? Why do I do that? Because I am human.

But, many times, I let that be my excuse, and it’s not a good one.

I know that realistically I can’t change my husband, I can only change myself, and hope that the change in me inspires change in others.

I have really been delving into the goodness that is Proverbs 31 recently.

I hate it. It’s awful. It makes me want to throw things.

I know, I know. I said, “…goodness…”.

So what is it that elicits this response from me? The fact that as I read it, I realize how perfect I’m not. I realize how much I need to change. I realize how much the problem is me, not Mr. or my children. I realize how much I need to humble myself and submit to God and to my husband. Ugh. Change is hard. Change is not fun. But, change is worthit!

For those of you who don’t know, in Proverbs, the Bible clearly defines what a good wife should look like. And, its really not even that difficult. But, it hits on all the things I struggle with.

So, now here is the challenge. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to be a Proverbs 31 woman? I have decided to devote my entire April to learning how to be a better wife. By becoming a better wife, I hope to become a better mom, and therefore, and overall better woman.

Yesterday was April 1st. Today is April 2nd, and now the joke is over. Be a better woman, today.

Using 5 paralleled translations, I am going to write out Proverbs 31:10-31 as it speaks to me.

Who can find a wife who is noble, virtuous, and of good character? She is priceless.

Her husband can trust her, and she makes his life better, giving him no reason to regret trusting her.

She brings him good, not harm, she comforts and encourages him and she is never spiteful, as long as she has breath to breathe.

She uses her resources and puts her hands to good use.

She is like a ship that sails to far away places and brings good surprises.

She is up before the household so that she is prepared for the day.

She uses her savings to plant a garden.

She is strong, mentally, spiritually, and physically, and prepared for the tasks God places before her.

She senses the worth of her work and does not easily give up.

She is diligent in homemaking.

She opens her arms to the poor and gives to those in need, whether they need in body, mind or spirit.

She is not afraid of change, because she knows her family’s needs are met in full.

She makes her own clothing and dresses in royal attire.

Her husband is greatly respected.

She makes things and is good at selling them.

She is clothed in strength and dignity and can rejoice in the time to come.

When she speaks her words are wise and she always has something worthwhile to say and she always says it kindly.

She carefully watches everything in her household, making sure everyone is being productive.

Her children respect her and say she is blessed and happy.

Her husband is proud of her. He is so proud that he tells her, “Many women do wonderful things, but you are by far better than the rest!” (And he truly believes it.)

She does not allow her charm to mislead others. She knows that outward looks don’t last forever. She is admired not for those things, but for her reverence and love for the Lord.

She is rewarded for all she has done. She is given all she deserves. She is well loved.

Remember, this is not a direct translation, rather what I am taking from the scripture.

I firmly believe that every wife and mother can accomplish everything on this list.

I know there will be a lot of complaining about the sewing, gardening, and homemaking. Don’t take it so literally.

I take, “She makes her own clothing and is dressed royally” to mean that a wife should be diligent about providing the best clothing for the best price.

Not into gardening? Live in the city? Don’t own your land? Utilize the farmer’s market! Use the money you are saving elsewhere to feed your family better food. Know where your food comes from. Don’t settle for “Chicken?” Nuggets.

Diligent in homemaking. Provide the best home you possibly can for your family. Do you have 3 little kids like me? Then the best home possible might be a little messier than other’s houses. Your meals might not be gourmet. But if it truly is the best you can provide, then it’s the best for your family. I personally will be tying this into “puts her hands to good use” and “makes sure everyone is productive”.

Over the next month, I challenge you to become a Proverbs 31 woman along with me. Will we all be perfect by May 1st? I hope so, but I doubt it. Will we all be better by May 1st? I know we will.

If you are with me on the challenge, let me know in the comments so that we can keep each other accountable. Take the next 24 hours to read Proverbs 31:10-31 for yourself, and make a list of the qualities. What are your strong suits and what could you be doing better with? Each day I am going to focus on one aspect and give some tips for how to better yourself in that area. I will share some things that have worked for me and also some things I will be trying in order to better myself.

Ladies, I am so excited to go on this journey with you!

Not a lady? Then take these qualities and pray the power of scripture for your wife or future wife, mother, sister, daughter, neighbor…

Let’s be what God has called us to be! Let’s get better, together! Let’s be true Proverbs 31 women!! Yay!!

Not like, “Oh, you have a new baby. He’s cute.” But, the unprovoked, stranger walks up to you in a store and tells you, “He is SO cute.”

They don’t have to tell you that. Your friends and family, they have to tell you that your kids are cute. Its a rule somewhere. I just know it. Anyway, I like when people tell me I have cute kids. It feels as though I have at least accomplished providing the world with some cute children. I don’t have to be the best cook, or the most knowledgeable mom, or the craftiest (I mean, I want to be all of those, but I don’t have to be), as long as I keep picking the right genes when making children. Cause, you get to pick those things, you know. Maybe that’s why my kids are cuter than yours… because you didn’t know you were supposed to pick genes. And I did.

I also like when people tell me I have a cute dog.

Unlike the genes for my children, I actually DID pick him. And he is cute. And I like him.

This story is about a particular gentleman that I encountered at the grocery store.

I was standing in the cereal aisle, a man behind me says, “Oh, what a cute baby! How old is he?”

I replied with a polite, “Thank you. He is 4 months old.”

The man he then says, “Yeah… my brother has a baby who was born in October. I think he is 4 months old… counts on fingers 1 -2-3-4… Yeah, 4 months.”

Not really knowing what to say at this point, I grab a box of cereal and say, “It was nice chatting. Have a good evening.”

I finished my shopping and left the store. As I approached my car, I realized there was someone standing by my vehicle, talking through the window. When I got closer the person turned and looked at me. He says, “Is this your car?”

I told him, “Yes. It is.”

He says, “Then that must be your dog, too…?”

I kind of chuckled, “Yep. That is my dog, in that car, which is also mine.”

He said, recognizing me from inside, “Cute dog and a cute baby. Seems fitting for a cute lady.”

Not quite knowing how to answer that, I said, “Thanks.” And awkwardly brushed my hair out of my face so as to not get poked in the eye by my bangs.

In doing so, I apparently flashed my wedding band, because he then says, “Oh… you’re married. Is your husband cute, too?” and laughs.

I quickly respond, “Well, I sure think so! Have a good night!”

I then proceeded to get in my car and laugh. For a long time.

Not only did a total stranger compliment my baby and my dog, and hit on me, he also, inadvertently hit on my husband. I love going grocery shopping!

While writing this post, I keep hearing the “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you….” song.

1. I love to cook, but hate to clean. Therefore, I cook and leave a giant mess in the kitchen, which results in me not wanting to cook, because in order to cook, I would have to clean, and as mentioned before, I hate to clean. *breath*

2. I have no fashion style. I wear mostly jeans and Old Navy t-shirts that I have owned since high school. No, they don’t really fit. Thanks for bringing that up…

3. My hair has no style either. Well, I suppose technically, long and puffy is a “style”. Kind of like “mullet” – a style, but definitely not a good one.

4. I don’t wear make-up. I never really learned how to properly apply it, so it scares me. Well, maybe not “scares”. Just, “annoys” me. Yeah… annoys. Boy, I am getting annoyed just thinking about make-up.

5. I am a little lot OCD when it comes to matching. Things that don’t match make me absolutely NUTS!!! This includes socks, plates on a table, furniture, etc.

6. I hate Twitter, yet I have an account. #can’tstandhashtags

7. I love my husband. However, if either Shemar Moore or a member of Rascal Flatts showed up and asked me out, I would leave him. Except when they were filming or touring, then I would still be with my husband.

8. I hate being naked. This is beneficial to you, because no one wants to see me naked. Except doctors… they always make me take my clothes off when I go to visit them. But, they also give me a robe (at least that’s what they call the piece of paper they give me).

9. I sell Usborne Books. They are amazing children’s books, and you probably need some, so visit my website. (I’ll post my site later… its currently down for maintenance.)

10. I absolutely love F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

You’re welcome, by the way… for all this pointless information. Oh, and for getting this song stuck in your head:

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Cast of Characters

We are a crazy bunch, to say the least. In the past 4 years, my entire world has been flipped upside-down and at times, shaken like a snow globe! Although this life isn't easy, its mine and I love it. I am a blessed woman!

Mr.

He's smart, kind, generous, and attractive. I couldn't ask for more in a partner in crime.

Little Miss Sassy Pants

Meet Little Miss Sassy Pants. She is 4 years old, and way too smart for her own good. She also likes chocolate.

Middle Little

Middle Little is a typical 3 year old boy. He loves trains, his blankie, Buzz and Woody and his Mama.

Buddy Boy

I can't believe my baby is 2!! He is so caring and cuddly, but holds his own, too.