If we were really paying attention would it be different?

What if before we got into a relationship we were told one thing: Pay attention. That’s all. Just to keep your eyes and ears and heart open? Would your relationships be different today?

I just have one message for myself (and maybe you today):

Look at your relationships – one at a time. Really look at them – your family, your partner, children, friends. Are they what you want them to be? If not, talk to each person, uninterrupted, about your relationship. If it’s your partner, ask: What are your/our life goals together? What do we each need and are those needs being met? How can we love each other in a way that feels better?

Here’s an analogy: With your car, do you get the oil changed regularly? Yes. Tires rotated? Tuned up and transmission checked? Yes. Do you wash it and keep it clean? Do you do this for your relationships? Ahh…..

We don’t and what often happens? We blow a tire on our relationship or the body rusts or it just stops working. Yet, we had in our control the ability to take care of the relationship. We should have (could have) paid attention.

I took the kids out for dinner the other night and my food came back not the way I ordered it. My kids were embarrassed when I nicely asked to have it remade. But why not? Why settle for something when it can be better? Why would I do that in life? Why not strive for the happiest relationships with my partner, children, family, friends and coworkers? Seriously, the wait staff was happy to make me happy and I felt better eating the food I ordered. Same with life, right?

So, all I ask is that you stop and have that conversation. Ask how happy and satisfied are the people in their life and relationship with you. Then — and here’s the important part —- listen to the answer. You will get a chance to talk about your s***. This time just listen. Ask questions, care about your questions and then listen again to their responses.

Honestly, I can’t wait to do this with each of my kids. How often do we pay attention to them, at that level, in the craziness of life. Maybe that holds true for your partner as well…

It’s easy to take relationships for granted. But, we all know that life’s too short not to pay attention to these critical people in our lives. I predict that if we (and I am totally including myself in here) pay attention, we’ll be amazed at how great our relationships can be!