Obesity Support Group

This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.

What do I do?

If you look at my profile it will tell you alot about my situation. I currently am bedridden due to a large herniated disc and severe sciatica. My doctor told me that if my disc rupture I will be permanently paralyzed from ym waist down.
I have been overweight all my life and currently I am about 260lbs. I have been that weight for years. I was not really intwerested in ever losing wiehgt, but since all this happened to me this past summer, I have had to stare at my ceiling and see the cobwebs grow(as I have no one to help me)I am so damn frustrated and had all this time to think, and think I have come up with a solution for myself.
I look at all these people(meaning around me in my life) that try to lose weight and have the chance and oppurtunity to do so and it never seems to workout for them. I think how they have it easy(my critical thinking due to bedrest. I mean no harm). It has made me realize how I took life for granted before and how short life is, so when I get my operation and am able to walk, that is the first thing I am going to do.. Get healthy and lose weight.

Does anyone have this frustration like me? Or how do people think how I feel? Am I to harsh? Am I just wacked out cause of all the meds I am on for pain? LOL Tell me what you all think.. I hope I can help some out...

I don't think anyone is going to think you are being judgemental.... it is just the truth. For whatever reasons, most here do not have a life long glandular disease that has made weight loss impossible.

I can honestly say that I have done this to myself, That in highschool, when I should have weighed 120, I was 135. In college, 120 or 125 would have been healthy, and I put on the freshman 15 and more, by senior year I was 150. Married at that weight, I was a nice firm chunky size 14, in pretty good shape, I was still exercising...most of us do to some extent when we are younger, we are just more active...

But obviously I was using food to handle problems, food was always my drug of choice that I could turn to to make myself feel better. I was an extremely abused only child with no support system...and food became my friend.
I married an abuser, and food became even more necessary to cope with the pain and lonely hours.

But honestly, I did this to myself, yeah, I had reasons to want to numb out and as I have gotten older, there are now medical reasons why losing weight is 10 times harder. Like alcoholism, this only gets worse, it does get out of control...

Someone may slam me here for saying this, but you will have to be one very lucky lucky person not to have the effects of weight gain catch up at to you at some point at mid life...after 50.

I was a healthy fat person up to a point too.... but with time, with all the right planets lining up and the stars converging, things started happening to alert me that yeah, the obesity is killing me.

Years ago, I got cancer...and it was very much weight related. very much. and it did scare me . I lost weight and was looking great for the first time in over 20 years...but I back slid, all the emotional issues of raising troubled teens, finally divorcing the abusive husband, made me turn back to my old friend....afterall, it was just so easy to buy a pie or zone out on potatoes...it is just so much easier than getting off my duff.

I started having heel pain, then foot pain...then a few years later circulation problems with severe varicose veins...but did I do anything about it? No. too depressed. too overwhelmed by what life was dealing me...more cancers.

So I ate and ate and ate. Then colitis reared it's ugly head, and boy does overeating REALLY exacerbate this!!!
I start developing food allergies I didn't have when young, become lactose intolerant, wheat and gluten intolerant...do I eat better? Make adjustments? Do what I need to do to take care of myself? NO. Food is all important.

Now asthma starts up...now arthritis starts up, now joint pains, knee is always in pain, high blood pressure starts up, ....and not so funny, just like you... I now live in constant very very painful lower back pain. I have no insurance, I can't go to a doctor, I sit here every day and wonder how the hell did I get here, and honestly, I got here because I could not, would not address the problem.

Some of us here have severe emotional eating problems, we have lots of other issues in our life, abuse, depression, other illnesses, losses we can't cope with...
yes, our lives have been hard and difficult, but now, at this late stage of life, I sit here every morning at 6 am because the sleep apnia is so severe I usually can't sleep very well anymore, and the pain in my hips from the arthritis is impossible because the sleep apnia is so bad and I sleep on my side and my hips just can't take the weight of me anymore..and either can my shoulders, which are now starting to deteriorate...and my knees can hardly bend anymore, and my ankles and feet are so swollen, I can barely get my sneakers on to exercise on the treadmill... I look at my purple, yes, purple and blue ankles and feet and wonder about diabetes. I wonder if the cuts I have that don't heal are signs of onset adult diabetes. I don't know. I know I WONT follow a diet.

and yes, I wonder what I have done to my back, why this just came out of nowhere. Is it a disc? Is my spine compacting? And do I have any sense of urgency over this? NOT REALLY, to be totally honest NOT REALLY. What the heck has to happen to me to motivate me to lose weight? I honestly do not think anything ever will. I could be flat on my back soon too, and staring at those cobwebs and I doubt I will feel any differently about food, because I am just so addicted to my fix, my only friend. I have searched and searched and searched EVERYWHERE for years for a friend, I post on every supermarket bulletin board for a walking buddy, I am constantly on craigslist asking for an activity partner... nothing. no one.

FOR ME? the only way I lose weight and keep it off is to get myself into a life style that mandates I HAVE TO change.... I HAVE To take jobs that MAKE me move, I HAVE TO HAVE A JOB that forces me to walk more, be more active. I have been unemployed for almost 5 full months now.... and the 30 pounds I lost earlier in 2007 are all back.... but without my crutch of an active life, I can't keep my weight under some kind of control.

So.... I am struggling to stay on a program here. By myself. There were no weight watchers scholarships in my area, there is very little gas in my car to get to them anyway. I can't afford the $600 a year gym membership, and I probably wouldn't go anyway. I can't buy healthy foods..... but I have tried to set my day up to be structured, to force myself to exercise at certain times of the day. I struggle with it, I do. Yesterday I just didn't do it. I don't know what the answer for me is anymore. It is just so hard, a life alone. I say if I had a friend or a husband or a family to help motivate me, help me care about myself, give me pats on my back, haul me out to walk when I just find the inner strength to do it myself...but truly? honestly? so what? the bottom line is I find it incredibly impossible to care for myself, do it myself. Maybe being beaten to a bloody pulp for a life time does that to you, makes it impossible not to feel like you have any worth. I don't know.

All I know is.... I feel like a very weak willed person, that I know I am killing myself at this point, that I feel a very detached kind of ennui towards my dilemma... that yesterday, while I was sitting on the couch last night, dying to mix up some pierogies and sour cream... I had to come to the computer and just zone out here..... and NOT GIVE IN to the screaming in my head to go out and buy a cheesecake, it would be so wonderful to sink myself into a creamy, luscious cheesecake rather than deal with all the physical pain and emotional pain I was in....

No. You are not freaking out, you are not too harsh. You are honest and justifiably frustrated that you are where you are. Somewhere, a long time ago, we passed a point of no return on our weight issues... I hope you are lucky and can blaze a new trail out of this jungle of fear and dependency... I am not so hopeful for myself.

Hi, yes I know exactly how you feel. I was not able to walk for 3 months. I had to hop around because of my attack with MS, my whole left side went numb and if I walk too much my leg will go numb and stop working. So, I know exactly how you feel. I go to the gym, community one does not cost anything if you are on disability, and I do sitting exercises, like the bike, I use the machines for my arms and waist. Mind you went I get home, slowly, I am aching all over. Sorry, I just read you are afraid of your disc to rupture. Do you go to physiotherapy? Have you asked your doctor what to do? I am really sorry but I can relate being bedridden. I put on alot of weight that way too. I hope the operation goes well and you can start exercising. But I guess in the meantime, enjoy the bed rest. Read books, take up knitting, a crat hobby. Anyway, I am blabbing on so I wish you all the best and prayers for your operation to be successful. HUGS Maggie

Hi Caroline. I have felt that frustration before in myself. I have spent my life taking my body for granted and as I racked up the pounds, my back got worse and worse. I developed sleep apnea, and my whole body was swollen. I finally snapped out of it when my blood sugar levels were high enough to call me diabetic. I realized that I was in serious trouble and I didn't want to die this way and I've been turning it all around ever since. It's hard sometimes, but I am always aware of how I need to change. My friends here at DS are my saviors and I get such strength from reading all the posts and being an active member. Thanks!!!

I read through your strings here and it brought tears to my eyes. I am afraid for you and afraid for myself. This drug called food is such a strong obsession. I have been overweight for as far back as I can remember which was when we were weighed in the 6th grade and I was the heaviest kid at 106 pounds. I have fought it for a very long time. I fought so hard, I reached 353 pounds at my highest. I started with knee problems (arthritis), then plantar fascitis in my feet, then back aches, then heart A-fib and enlarged Ventrical, then sleep apnea, then high blood pressure. You'd think the apron of skin for a belly, cottage cheese legs and aches and pains would be enough. But no, I keep gaining and losing weight. Right now I am very determined to stick to a healthier life style and I hope to stay on this path. Your situations have been a warning to me, as it can and will get worse if I don't do something about it. Thank you for sharing.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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