Tuesday, July 27, 2010

This is my home. I've not taken better pictures of it than this, because I can't quite feel comfortable in it yet. I don't know why, but it just does not feel like home yet. I haven't quite been able to place my finger on why, but I'm sure it'll come to me sometime.We now live in a one story ranch 3 bedroom home, where my rent is super cheap and all my utilities are included, plus my washer & dryer were supplied.We even have a completely fenced in yard that surrounds 3 sides of my home. Heck, I can even have a cat, dog or any other furry creature I can think of if I want. My child can walk to school on his own in the fall. I can (and have) walk to work when I work at the Daycare now.We've got friends beating down our door for playdates, and we're beating their doors down in return for BBQ's and new children to meet & entertain. I have everything in a home for my children that I've been yearning for since we've moved here.

I've enjoyed living here so far, but I still feel a bit depressed at the thought of leaving our beautiful little cabin in the woods.We don't feel quite like a family since we've moved. Too many conveniences at our fingertips. A school playground close by, a tv in every room, *working* internet. We've lost touch of what it means to be a family. We no longer play spontaneous games that make us all giggle. I no longer feel energetic enough to find something to do, or a game to play.Work is bringing me down, gotta scoop up some new coping mechanisms, be happy with the baby steps, and remember that I can only do so much. I've really got to stop being so hard on myself.The kids leave this weekend with MIL for a 2 week vacation at her home in Washington. Two weeks without children, and I'm pretty sure both Mr & I will be lot for at least 13 of those 14 days. Should be fun to see what comes about from it. I'll try and remember to take pictures.I cannot believe it's the end of July already. One more month and school's back in...god, now I get to figure out where I'm going to go and buy all of D's new school clothes from (I mean, in a small town you've got a pretty limited choice, right?)Lots of reasons bringing this all about. I'll be making a Doctors visit to see if we can't get all the help we can get to solve this issue.

About Me

Amber

I am a walking contradiction. I'm honest to a fault, but have learned to filter my thoughts to sting a little less. I'm growing at a glacial pace, and am inviting you to watch. It's about as much fun as watching paint dry, but at least you've got an invitation!