I think my husband is cheating on me..??

I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and since about a month before I gave birth my husband has been so distant! At first I thought it was nerves with the upcoming baby but now that she's 3 months old ... Nothing has changed.
He barely talks to me, let alone kiss or make love to me. He's always on his phone. Hes always out drinking and god knows what else. He has absolutely no respect for me and constantly is putting me down.
I just don't know what to do anymore.

I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and since about a month before I gave birth my husband has been so distant! At first I thought it was nerves with the upcoming baby but now that she's 3 months old ... Nothing has changed.
He barely talks to me, let alone kiss or make love to me. He's always on his phone. Hes always out drinking and god knows what else. He has absolutely no respect for me and constantly is putting me down.
I just don't know what to do anymore.

Definitely has all the red flags of cheating. Have you talked to him about the distance and lack of intimacy? Suggest counseling and see where that leads. If he isn't willing to change or work on things then its probably time to get out things together and leave.

Definitely has all the red flags of cheating. Have you talked to him about the distance and lack of intimacy? Suggest counseling and see where that leads. If he isn't willing to change or work on things then its probably time to get out things together and leave.

We've been together 8 years and married for 4 years. It's so hard to know that this may be possible. I tried talking to him but he brushed it off saying I have attitude and that's why he never wants to be home.
*sigh* I wish I could just have some concrete signs that he is indeed cheating. I used to think he was the kind of guy that would never ever cheat. :( so depressed.

We've been together 8 years and married for 4 years. It's so hard to know that this may be possible. I tried talking to him but he brushed it off saying I have attitude and that's why he never wants to be home.
*sigh* I wish I could just have some concrete signs that he is indeed cheating. I used to think he was the kind of guy that would never ever cheat. :( so depressed.

May not be the best advice but its what I would do, follow him, borrow a friends car and follow him, or get a friend you can trust to do it for you. I know it's not the best advice but its what I would do if I thought something fishy was going on with my so

May not be the best advice but its what I would do, follow him, borrow a friends car and follow him, or get a friend you can trust to do it for you. I know it's not the best advice but its what I would do if I thought something fishy was going on with my so

I agree with MiaPia. He may not be cheating, he may be unhappy with his home life. It's like a woman going through postpartum depression. He might be going through a depression too because of the new baby.

I agree with MiaPia. He may not be cheating, he may be unhappy with his home life. It's like a woman going through postpartum depression. He might be going through a depression too because of the new baby.

From someone who just found out her husband of 9 yrs has had 4 one night stands starting 5 yrs ago. Everything you listed was a red flag I saw but chose to ignore. I would come right out and ask him. If he gets defensive, tries to throw it back on you. I would say yes there is a big chance he is cheating. My husband never wanted to have sex. It was because he would rather look at porn and masterbate. Look at his Internet history and cookies on the computer. Phone records etc. my dh's last affair was in 2009 and he just told me about it 2 wks ago. 3 yrs of my life I can't get back. If I had only payed attention to the alarms going off. Good luck to you. I know how hard this is.

From someone who just found out her husband of 9 yrs has had 4 one night stands starting 5 yrs ago. Everything you listed was a red flag I saw but chose to ignore. I would come right out and ask him. If he gets defensive, tries to throw it back on you. I would say yes there is a big chance he is cheating. My husband never wanted to have sex. It was because he would rather look at porn and masterbate. Look at his Internet history and cookies on the computer. Phone records etc. my dh's last affair was in 2009 and he just told me about it 2 wks ago. 3 yrs of my life I can't get back. If I had only payed attention to the alarms going off. Good luck to you. I know how hard this is.

I had gut feelings that I ignored for months. one day i pulled a phone bill and saw over ten thousand texts messages between my husband and another woman over a four month period. Do not ignore the signs. Start keeping your eye open for hard evidence. good luck.

I had gut feelings that I ignored for months. one day i pulled a phone bill and saw over ten thousand texts messages between my husband and another woman over a four month period. Do not ignore the signs. Start keeping your eye open for hard evidence. good luck.

Try to set up a date nite to rekindle your romance, if he says no then I would def think something is up. Women are not the only ones that go through changes after having a baby, men do also. My SO became really distant before I had my baby also, it was just nerves though. The only thing that strikes me as odd is that he rather be outside than spend time with his family. I would def be offended over that and hurt. Is it that bad between you guys that he rather spend time elsewhere?

Try to set up a date nite to rekindle your romance, if he says no then I would def think something is up. Women are not the only ones that go through changes after having a baby, men do also. My SO became really distant before I had my baby also, it was just nerves though. The only thing that strikes me as odd is that he rather be outside than spend time with his family. I would def be offended over that and hurt. Is it that bad between you guys that he rather spend time elsewhere?

We went on a date night a few weekends ago and it was a nice time out. But the next day he was back to his old self again - grumpy and distant.
I have access to everything of his but his phone (he doesn't go through mine either) so that's the only place he could really be hiding stuff.
Along with all the distance he's been spending money like crazy - like 3000 he lost at the casino in one night. In total he's probably lost 10,000 just at the casino never mind the drinking and anything else.
I worked my ass off when I wasn't on mat leave and although I never made nearly as much as him I kept our finances together. Now we're barely making ends meet because he's blowing all our savings.
Ah there's so much going on with our relationship that maybe I'm just looking for a way out and am over thinking the whole cheating thing!
Thanks everyone for your posts. I really needed to vent.

We went on a date night a few weekends ago and it was a nice time out. But the next day he was back to his old self again - grumpy and distant.
I have access to everything of his but his phone (he doesn't go through mine either) so that's the only place he could really be hiding stuff.
Along with all the distance he's been spending money like crazy - like 3000 he lost at the casino in one night. In total he's probably lost 10,000 just at the casino never mind the drinking and anything else.
I worked my ass off when I wasn't on mat leave and although I never made nearly as much as him I kept our finances together. Now we're barely making ends meet because he's blowing all our savings.
Ah there's so much going on with our relationship that maybe I'm just looking for a way out and am over thinking the whole cheating thing!
Thanks everyone for your posts. I really needed to vent.

Honestly, he sounds depressed. Men can go thru a type of ppd too. I suggest starting with couples counseling. And take a good look at how you are treating him. Its hard to lok critically at ourselves , but maybe you are treating him different than he's used to?

Honestly, he sounds depressed. Men can go thru a type of ppd too. I suggest starting with couples counseling. And take a good look at how you are treating him. Its hard to lok critically at ourselves , but maybe you are treating him different than he's used to?

Definately always follow intuition but also remember it could be changes in you . Did you only talk about the baby and pregnancy ? Did you avoid the intimacy cause you weren't feeling well ? Sometimes men feel alone and can't handle all the moods and we change when we become moms . I'm not saying your gut isn't right but you should talk to him about maybe how he Is feeling without defense and see if he feels on the outside

Definately always follow intuition but also remember it could be changes in you . Did you only talk about the baby and pregnancy ? Did you avoid the intimacy cause you weren't feeling well ? Sometimes men feel alone and can't handle all the moods and we change when we become moms . I'm not saying your gut isn't right but you should talk to him about maybe how he Is feeling without defense and see if he feels on the outside

Wow. This baffles me. But I believe you are strong and you should not stand for nothing in a relationship. Respect is and should always be a big factor in any relationship. Sorry you are going through this just know you ate the one that can determine your happiness.

Wow. This baffles me. But I believe you are strong and you should not stand for nothing in a relationship. Respect is and should always be a big factor in any relationship. Sorry you are going through this just know you ate the one that can determine your happiness.

Sounds depressed with the drinking and gambling, some men also experience lower testosterone after a baby is born, supposedly it helps them bond. That could explain lower sex drive. My dh is very honest with me, he drinks a lot, and we have had arc maybe 5 times since lo was born 8 months ago. He is afraid of another oops. Talk to him, maybe he is cheating maybe he is depressed. You won't know with out a conversation.

Sounds depressed with the drinking and gambling, some men also experience lower testosterone after a baby is born, supposedly it helps them bond. That could explain lower sex drive. My dh is very honest with me, he drinks a lot, and we have had arc maybe 5 times since lo was born 8 months ago. He is afraid of another oops. Talk to him, maybe he is cheating maybe he is depressed. You won't know with out a conversation.

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