Video — Preparation Inspires Self-Confidence

This is a video of myself doing a presentation on my day of graduation from a self-employment course.

(It’s 2.5 minutes long. You can save time if you start the video and hit pause so it can download while you read.)

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” What this means is that a good portion of human communication takes place non-verbally. It’s not only about the words, but how you deliver them.

I am not an experienced public speaker. During the few times I have given a speech nothing influenced me more than the good mental attitude that came from being well prepared.

My first speech was at Toastmasters; The Icebreaker. I practiced until I had it memorized, pacing around my apartment in circles reading the speech out loud and timing myself. The icebreaker had to run between 4 to 6 minutes. I was a nervous wreck the entire day leading up to that moment. It was hellish!

I had a plan though!

Even though I had memorized the speech I brought two copies of it to the podium. I stood in front of the audience, my heart pounding in my throat. I looked down at the piece of paper I was holding and started reading.

Then I stopped, looked at the audience, waited and then said, “Oh what’s the use. I can’t do this!” I crumpled up the speech and tossed it over my shoulder. They looked stunned and I was extremely pleased. That impact helped me take the focus off myself and focus on the audience and their response.

My evaluation was positive: sincere, good gestures and pacing, excellent opening. One suggestion for improvement was to vary the tone of my voice. Hard to do when you’re choking on your own breath! I did appreciate their support. They wanted me to succeed and that made a difference.

In this video, again I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. What amazes me is that I didn’t look too nervous. I’d imagined I looked like an idiot, but when I watch the video I don’t think I did as bad as I thought I had.

First, a bit of background. In 2003 I was diagnosed with a gluten allergy, a condition similar to celiac disease.

In my case there was no damage to the intestinal wall, but the absorption of minerals had been affected. A bone density scan at age 40 showed that I had the bone density of a 60-year-old. After two years on the gluten-free diet, a follow-up bone density scan revealed an increase of 11%.

I decided to start a nutrition consulting business combining my credentials as a nutritionist and experience with the gluten-free diet. And so, GlutenfreeMe was born.

I also completed training as a life coach with the Coaches Training Institute because I wanted to offer coaching to support my clients with their new diets. The nutrition business was not successful. My business focus transitioned from consulting to coaching when I saw how powerful this process was.

This is the second half of the presentation. For the opening I playfully showed the audience the difference between how big my belly was before going gluten free and how flat it looked that day. This was not part of the planned speech but turned out to be a powerful ad lib. Again, it was an opening with an impact that helped me ease into the speech.

I don’t know how I managed to speak. I could hardly breathe and this is obvious by the lack of variation in vocal tone. My throat was dry and I was shaking. You will hear me say that I was shaking so much that I didn’t have to plug the blender in. All I had to do was hold it. Another successful ad lib. A good sense of humour is my saving grace.

I learned from both speeches that being well prepared supported me the most. I knew the topic well and had rehearsed.

Because I was well connected with the speech I could go with the flow and ad lib. It was easier to be spontaneous and natural. Knowing I was well prepared gave me more self confidence than if I was unsure of what to say or do.

Both speeches had a lot in common.

I was well prepared with a good opening and closing. I used humour, ad libbed, made good use of props and scanned the room to make eye contact.

Even though I had memorized and rehearsed the speech, I had notes nearby.

My vocal tone still needs work, but what I find interesting is that despite feeling paralyzed with fear, I managed good posture and use of gestures. This is the result of being well prepared, so well prepared that the speech became more a part of me than the fear.

The audience was rooting for me; they weren’t strangers. A suggestion in the Toastmasters Member Kit is to know your audience. Plan to be there early to greet the guests as they arrive. It is much easier than speaking to complete strangers.

And on that note, don’t be a stranger. Watch this short video and take your moment in the comment section below.

Tell me about your time in the spotlight or share about a time you faced your fear.

Do tell! Don’t be shy.

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33 comments

I was actually thinking today about a short video that I might post that is part of a 30 minute video I produced in the mid 1990s.

Like most, in high school, I hated speech class. An introvert by nature, I was terrified by the thought of getting up in front of class and the thought of doing it was not as bad as when I was actually in front of class. It was bad enough that it’s one of the few things I can specifically remember from high school.

It never would have occurred to me, of course, that I might actually make a living — and enjoy — doing something that would require me to get up in front of people fairly frequently. For 24 years, I was an instructor at a nuclear power plant, teaching operators, the guys who run the plant. Before we actually did the job, we had a week long class on instructional skills from the Dean of the Education Department at our local university.

Toastmasters! I happen to think they are just a super organization for practicing public speaking and leadership skills. I am a former member (I’ve been out about 2 years) – and while I was there I earned my CTM and CL. With all the stuff going on with our family and children, something had to give – and TM was it – but I plan to get back there again someday soon… I can’t say enough about how this improved my public speaking. They are just such a supportive and caring organization – there wasn’t a day I left one of those meetings where I didn’t gain something – no matter if I did a formal speech or not.

And through TM – that’s how I gained enough confidence in myself to take on several of the leadership roles I have in my children’s lives (which is why I had to leave TM) – and that is a gift I am so happy to have received!

First, it’s wonderful to see you and hear your voice, and that will carry over to when I read your words, filling out my awareness of you. You were so warm and friendly in your presentation; you looked so comfortable, only a dedicated scaredy-cat like me would have noticed your hands.

In junior high, I was given the female lead in the class play because we shared the same name. The teacher wasn’t impressed when I said that was a dumb reason for picking me; she was impressed, though, when I couldn’t remember a single word of dialog after weeks of extra coaching. On stage, my mental processed froze rock solid and I could barely hear the promptings from the side curtains. By the time we went live, I was a stagehand and someone else (thank goodness!) was “Julie.” In high school, my best friend and I badgered our English Lit teacher into letting us give a joint oral book review, because we were so timid in the limelight. We vowed to take equal turns; turns out, all I managed was to step on my friend’s foot over and over, to make her speak my turn. You’d think I was in a large school with huge audiences. Not so. My class routinely only had 25-30 kids.

But… I’ve since learned (throughout all these many years later) that you are absolutely right about what makes all the difference in the world. Even for those like me—and Mike, above. Knowing the topic so well that it feels like a part of you is critical to having your fear recede so far into the background that you can just speak as if to your dearest family members. I’ve found that when I’m passionate about something, my focus narrows and I “become” what I’m sharing. It’s like magic.

Lastly, (sorry to be so long-winded!) I THANK YOU for telling me here that what’s happening to my body is not my imagination. I was tested for Celiac Disease and “passed,” but I still know I’m not supposed to eat gluten products. My body reacts very strongly—and immediately—when I do. But since my tests came back fine, I couldn’t understand what was going on. Now I see it’s not my imagination, not all in my head. Along with that: I overlooked the connection between mineral malabsorption and loss of bone density. So, thank you. Now I’ll remember my calcium pills. :)

Hi Davina – There’s nothing like speaking in front of a group to strike terror in someone’s heart! TM is such a great resource. When I started, I paid a great deal of money in fines to the group for all the “ums” and “ahs” I used to stall while I frantically tried to get ahold of myself. Now, almost thirty years later, I have absolutely no fear of public speaking in any size group.

The best thing I learned is that your audience really wants you to do a great job and is pulling for you, as you say. Good skills translate in anything from a sales presentation to a teaching venue in front of hundreds. I’ve been in both places and appreciate being comfortable and relaxed. Thanks for a unique and inspiring post.

After speech and drama class in high school, and various experiences in college and grad school, I was very comfortable as a public speaker. A few years ago (decades after grad school), I had to speak to a group and found myself shaking. I guess it wore off. Toastmasters is something I’ve always been meaning to do, “someday.” :-)

Hi Davina – Great video and I must say, you did wonderful in your presentation. I like how you added humor to your “speech”.

I’ve never been in a position where I had to speak to a group other than in speech class and a little on past jobs. I’d probably be a nervous wreck if I had to. I’ve heard nothing but good things about Toast Masters, thus if I ever get into a position where public speaking became a part of my job, I would join them.

I suck at public speaking. People don’t believe me when I tell them I’m shy. The common reaction is “but you have a blog! You are putting yourself out there!” People don’t realize blogging is a completely different experience than standing in front of a live audience.

That’s interesting that thinking about giving a speech was not as bad for you as actually doing it. It was the other way around for me (I felt faint sometimes I was so nervous). That’s an excellent turn of events that you ended up doing it and loving it. What IS your secret?

Hi Lance.
Thanks! Yes, Toastmasters is excellent. I stopped going because I moved within the city. I miss the other group and due to circumstances (and resistance) I haven’t sought out a new group yet. Might be a good thing for the New Year.

Congrats on earning your CTM and CL! Excellent. Even better that it has added value to your family.

Hi there Julie.
Be long-winded. I don’t mind at all :-) Thanks for sharing.

Sorry, but I laughed about your story of doing that presentation with your friend and only managing to step on your friend’s foot. I know too well how that must have felt. It must have been a very awkward experience for you.

I’m happy to have helped you with that information about gluten. Are you aware of the Celiac Association? They have lots of valuable information on their website.

Hiya Betsy.
I’m chuckling right now cause I do remember paying fines for those “ums” and “ahs”. Remember the Table Topics? Oh joy!

What is super about Toastmasters is that there is a good variety of people who show up there. There are the inexperienced who can take comfort in not being the only one. And there are the experienced who can offer their support and show you how it’s done.

You said, “I have absolutely no fear of public speaking in any size group” Well, I am your greatest fan then!

Hello Dot.
So you have it in you then! So goes the saying, “use it or lose it”. I highly recommend Toastmasters. And not only that, but in addition to practicing public speaking, you write speeches, evaluate other speeches (at the podium) and you have the opportunity to run the meetings too. It is excellent!

Hi Barbara.
Thanks. Yes, as I said, humour is my saving grace. I would have been a stiff up there without it. I think it helps to relax the audience too when you lighten the mood. I feel uncomfortable being in the audience if I know the speaker is nervous.

It’s another example of how body language can help or hinder the message. I end up noticing their nervousness and not hearing what they are saying.

Hi Vered.
You are absolutely right! Blogging is not the same as standing in front of a live audience… at all!!! Have you done much public speaking? Maybe you are not as bad as you think…?

I do look calm don’t I? I can’t figure that part out. I’ve watched this over and over and I don’t recognize that person up there.

Hi Maya.
I think I was in a trance or something :-) Even though I was looking at the audience I wasn’t really “seeing” them. They were a blur.

Yes try Toastmasters. You can go to meetings as a guest with no charge. That way you can see how a meeting is run and meet the people in the group. You may be invited to participate in the Table Topics at the beginning but not forced to.

Table Topics is a time where a question is asked and they choose someone to get up and talk on the spur of the moment for about 1-2 minutes. It was good practice.

After you go to the meetings for a few times you are encouraged to join.

The secret is to be THE expert on the topic. Most of the classes that I taught I knew a lot more than the students did and could answer their question.

The fun part came later when I began really focusing on facilitative teaching — asking questions and involving the students in what was going on in the class.

To be fair, I taught a relatively small group of people and some of the people that I taught in 1983 were still in retraining classes that I taught in 2007. So, for the most part, I was speaking to groups of acquaintances and friends.

However, in 2004 or 2005, I had the opportunity to participate in providing training to all of the supervisors at our site — and there were a lot of them. I didn’t know over half of them and of the rest, I only knew about half of them well. So here I was, for the first time in a relatively long time in front of a groups of people who were not people that I taught all the time. How I do? I facilitated my way through it. Asked questions about the topic and filled up the marker board with the answers.

I started reading this as I was listening to the video and I was so nervous for you. I know what it’s like to be in front of an audience….most times I’m okay, but when I start thinking about what I’m doing, I get the shakes.

It’s best like you did to just know your material and not read from the paper, an outline or a few key sentences help.

anywho, the first time i had to speak in front of an audience, i was around 11 and i’ve been doing it since then off and on…public speaking…enrolled in a class at 11 and learned everything there

Hi Valerie.
You started pretty young and sound like another pro at this — just like Mike. Your self-doubt pops in only when you stop to think about what you are doing.

It’s interesting that not reading notes is actually easier. Before doing this speech, I would have thought the opposite. But it’s pretty hard to engage the audience when your eyes are depending on notes.

Hi Davina – I was so busy setting up the link to this post yesterday that I forgot to comment. I don’t know how you stayed so calm – even peeling a banana. You didn’t seem nervous at all. And you kept remembering to look in the direction of the video camera.

When I was doing my nurse training, I had to do a presentation on Aids and I was meant to put a condom on a banana. I thought it would be straightforward enough but when I opened it, I realised that I had no idea which way on it went. I got it inside out and it wouldn’t roll down. I was so embarrassed.

Hi Davina: I think you did very well! And I like how you included recipe cards with your contact information on them, very savvy :-) I’m a lawyer so I’ve had a lot of experience speaking in public, I think it’s just one of those things that comes down to practice.

Hi Cath.
Amazingly, I didn’t even know my friend Julie was taping the presentation; absolutely no recollection of seeing her with the camera at all. The audience was a complete blur.

Ok, could you hear me laughing across the miles at your story? I would have died of embarrassment — OMG! I wonder how the audience felt? How many shades of red did you turn? Did you eat the banana afterwards? :-)

Hi Marelisa.
Thanks. I think you’re probably right that practice has a lot to do with it. And then of course, there are those lucky ones who are just naturals at it. Yah, I thought the recipe cards were a nice touch. Didn’t get me any sales… I did sell one test kit though.

Wow Davina I was impressed your own You TUBE video and own business you are learning the ropes so fast that I am jealous again. Once I get warmed up, in the good old days, it was hard to get me stopped…my opening joke was about how my hands shake all the time…to set people at ease and not to worry about me – or set students up to pester.

I liked seeing you in the body – you look just like your avatar…

My whole family has Celiac Disease, except me. I do love how you can get all the fixin’s in many stores now and don’t have to spend 8 hours making what you hope will be a loaf of bread and not a brick….1 out of 4 folks in the US are Gluten Intolerant and my mum growing up in the Canadian Prairies was gluten intolerant when she turned about 80….but when she quit eating it her arthritis just all but vanished…no lie…

Good work and I hope the work is coming in for you now….nice post, very creative…

I first saw this post come up in my reader fully 5 minutes after thinking up my recording post, a couple of days ago – and resisted looking at this until I had got it up. What a coincidence!

I found your voice delightful – and you are very animated – in a natural way. Great!

I used to work as a tour guide – despite being very nervous about that sort of thing. I used to pace around the room rehearsing out loud for hours (and days) until I knew the whole thing by heart – I can relate. It worked.

Hi Patricia.
Excellent approach to joke about your nervousness. I can attest to that making the audience feel more at ease.

There are a lot of gluten-free options in the stores. My only beef is that they are so much more expensive. I’ll pay $6-7 for a loaf of bread every once in a while, but generally stick to fruit, veggies, meat, and the gluten-free grains. Thankfully I’m not lactose-intolerant. I’d miss chocolate!

I totally believe you about your mom’s arthritis disappearing without gluten in her diet. Good for her.

Hiya Robin.
A super coincidence! Glad you enjoyed this. That sounds like a good job, working as a tour guide. I bet you met a lot of interesting people.

I love your idea of the Recording Project. I can’t wait to hear everyone. I’m already trying to think of something intelligent to say :-)

Thanks for sharing your video You look like an expert host. Like of most people, I have a fear in public speaking. It really makes me nervous when speaking in front of people. I really want to overcome my fear. Hope your article can help.
Thanks

Hi Sara.
Thank you. It is interesting that you are more comfortable with speaking in large groups than making small talk. I don’t think it’s weird though :-) I admire people who are good at public speaking.

Hi Diana.
Welcome! Thanks for your comment. If you want to improve your public speaking skills I highly recommend Toastmasters. It did help me in the sense that I knew what to expect and how to prepare. And it gives you a chance to practice. It didn’t, however, make the fear go away :-)

Hi Stacey.
Gluten can cause so many problems and it’s still not as widely recognized by health professionals as it should be. That’s why so many people are misdiagnosed.

I agree that Toastmasters is a fantastic resource. Its all about people empowering people–praise/improvement/ praise, is the basic philosophy. You are an inspiring person who sends uplifting energy into the world. As you empower others, you are also unconsciously encouraging yourself. This is a meaningful revelation. After all, each human being is learning constantly. You decide what principles and values to adopt, ignore or discard. Thank you for sharing parts of your motivational self.

Hi Evelyn.
Oh, I’m sure I was nervous! I’m happy that you find this inspiring; thanks for sharing that. I can see you speaking quite authentically. Humour might not work for everyone and that is ok. It can also sneak in from the audience.

Nicely done! I do Toastmasters. To be honest, it’s one the of hardest things I have ever done. I am quite shy, so standing up in front of a room with a timer ticking and a grammar checker counting my UMMS is dreadfully hard. Toastmasters is torture, but very rewarding. The people are very nice, never laugh, and just want to help speakers improve.

Hi Squawkfox.
Nice to see you here! Thanks for your comment. Toastmasters is awesome isn’t it? You’re right, public speaking is hard enough, but to add in the timer and the grammar checker just adds to the stress of it all. Keep persevering though. In time, you’ll be able to support the newer less experienced members.

That was great Davina. I’ve always wondering what you looked like behind that mysterious gravatar of yours. Maybe I’ve missed your actual picture or another video somewhere, but I loved seeing this and you did a great job!
You did seem amazingly calm to me.

Hi Davina
Public speaking is something that scares the xxxx out of me. I watched your video with great interest. You came across as being in control and quite confident and you got your message across – which at the end of the day is the important part.

I have thought about facing my fears and joining a toastmaster group as I am sure that if I practice in a supportive environment I will improve. Even if I don’t feel much calmer on the inside if I can project a sense of being in control on the outside like you did in the video I will have made a massive improvement on where I am today.

Hi Leanne.
You’re welcome. If you give Toastmasters a try I bet you won’t be disappointed. It made a HUGE difference for me. They are supportive and make it easier to step out there and “make mistakes”.