How Jake the Journalist can say with a straight face that this Pathetic Left-Wing Conspiracy is nonpartisan, defies even A-Pee's limited brand of reason.

...assert that Fox News' reports are "deliberately and consistently distorted and twisted to promote the Republican Party of the U.S. and an extreme right-wing viewpoint."

As opposed to al-Qerry's twisted promoters at ABCCBSNBCNPRMSNBC®? Just because they actually allow a Republican to speak and not get interrupted and shouted down by four or five barking moonbats at the same time, that's hardly "promotion." It's called "fair and balanced."

Alleging consumer fraud, the complaint calls for the FTC to order Fox News, consistently the highest-rated cable news network, to cease and desist from using the slogan.

Ve vilt orter yuuz tooz beez goots leetle leeb'ral subjeectz. Ja.

Sieg Heil!

Irena Briganti, a Fox News spokeswoman, told The AssociatedAsswipewhiney Press that "while this is clearly a transparent publicity stunt, we recognize all forms of free speech and wish them well."

The "w" on that last word was supposed to be "h" preceded by "to go to" but the APe man quoted her wrong.

James Kaminski, a former FTC lawyer currently practicing advertising law with Arent Fox Attorneys, sees little chance for the petition, noting that the FTC does not wade in political waters.

"Whether (Fox is) biased or not ... it's a freedom of speech issue," he said.

Freedom? Since when do Radically Raving Extremist MooreOns of the Nth Dimension™ care about freedom? Especially when it involves non-RREMND speech?

But

Persuant to the official Alwaysconstipated Press Style Manual (New York: Marx & Lennin, 2004 edition), "Without exception, every quote that supports a nonliberal radical viewpoint on any issue shall be followed by the word 'But' and at least two quotes refuting it."

...Chellie Pingree, president of Common Cause, said the legal actions were consistent with the First Amendment. "Fox has no obligation under the law to be fair and balanced, just not to market itself as fair and balanced," he said.

(There's quote #1.)

Even when it is in fact "fair and balanced."

After a press conference announcing the petition, members of MoveOn.org and Common Cause marchedgoose-stepped to the Fox News Headquarters to hand out DVDs of the recent documentary "Outfoxed," which alleges a pattern of right-wing biases in the network's reporting, citing statements by former Fox employees and internal memos.

Disgruntled former employees, and swiped internal memos saying "we won't be unfair or unbalanced like those biased reporters at AP et al. Please adhere to this policy unless you want to become a disgruntled former employee. Thanks."

The documentary is "Exhibit A" in the FTC petition.

At the press conference, Common Cause's Pingree said the petition was consistent with the 34-year old citizen advocacy group's history

Of activities that are deliberately and consistently distorted and twisted to promote the Demoonbatic Party of the U.S. and an extreme left-wing viewpoint.

..., and a response to the "growing firestorm about what's going on with the media."

(There's quote #2. Jake's now in compliance with his company's style manual. He can stop with the refutational quotes. Although he probably won't....)

The Federal Trade Commission, which hears all consumer complaints, will now judge whether the complaint has merit, a process that could take months.

On or after November 3, 2004. Should've filed earlier, you "nonpartisan" Dorkorats. Or at least read Democratic Underpants more often. The barking moonies over there came up with this idea right after FOX became a bright, sharp contrast to the biasly spun bilge coming out your beloved lamestream media.

Mitch Katz of the FTC's Office of Public Affairs would not comment directly on the petition, but did acknowledge that a label like "fair and balanced" may be inherently subjective.

Which, legally speaking, means that "inherent subjectivity" has absolutely no bearing on the merits (i.e., lack thereof) of the MootOn-Commie Cause's petition one way or the other. Else he wouldn't have given you that ex-parte comment.

Fox has sought to trademark its "Fair and Balanced" motto, which also has been met with legal action.

Independent Media Institute, a not-for-profit promoter of independent journalism, filed a petition last December with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office challenging Fox's trademark request.

The IMI's petition claims that the term "fair and balanced" is so prevalent as to be generic, and is "entirely mis-descriptive" when it comes to Fox News.

What does a trademark application have to do with these loony consumer fraud allegations? A non sequitur if there ever was one.

FOX's application is made in good faith. The only decision before the U.S. trademark office is whether the phrase is unique enough (like Velcro®, Pledge®, Jolly Green Giant®, or "I'd walk a mile for a Camel"™) to warrant that exclusive-use status. Not whether it accurately describes the producer or its brands.

Last summer, Fox News Channel tried to block publication of liberal humorist Al Franken's book, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right," saying it made unauthorized use of Fox's "fair and balanced" slogan.

Didn't you just say "Fox has sought to trademark" its motto? That would imply it hasn't been officially trademarked yet. No wonder al-Frankenstein could get away with using it. Just like I could title this blog "Put a Tiger in Your Tank" with an image of a friendly-looking corpulent tiger right next to it and not get sued, had Exxon just applied for but not yet received registration of that trademark.

Just because you work for AP, Jake, doesn't mean you have to get all your facts wrong.

...Ok, so maybe it does.

The judge dismissed Fox's case, saying it was "wholly without merit,"

Because their motto hasn't been officially registered yet. Fox has only "sought" to register it, remember?

...and the trademark "Fair and Balanced," registered by Fox in 1998,

Which is it, Jake? Are they seeking to trademark it or is it actually registered? With flip-flops like these, you need to be reassigned to covering al-Qerry.

...was weak. He also said the network was "trying to undermine the First Amendment."

FOX can't "undermine the First Amendment" but Commie Cause can, is that it?

When are you radical extremist liberals ever going to figure out that sensible people are fed up with your trying to always have it both ways. That's the "growing firestorm" you're seeing.

As far as your consumer fraud case, I'd have more luck filing one against MoveOn.not for consistently and miserably failing to do anything that can be reasonably described in even the remotest sense as "moving on," or against Commie Cause for never "holding power accountable" when it comes to radical left extremists like itself and others belonging to or closely associated with the Desperatic Party.