Numb and dumber

by Jay
(Ny)

After binging out on coke, eventually I got some good stuff that had me stiffened into a chair with a 7 hour panic attack. I thought I had survived an overdose and almost walked to a public area for someone to find my body; had I been able to move I would have. This isn't the worst panic attack, but in fact my unknowing expedition to it. I quit cold turkey to get my life back together, but I was suffering heart palpitations in the shortcoming weeks that followed.

Eventually, the worst one came from a day at work. I was young still but could swear I was about to die. My heart was racing and I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. I felt assured that because of the blow my life was now over, and even though it didn't end that day, you could say it has figuratively.I was around 30 people witnessing me about for some help. I walked to my boss and said get me the hell out of here. Words can't efficiently describe the terror I felt. I texted my mom I loved her while my heart raced faster than if I had sprinted every second I had been laying down on that filthy work carpet. "I love you". All I could type while unable to control my own body.Eventually paramedics came and fed me oxygen while I was calming down again after 30 minutes of self afflicted terror.my resting heart rate was 180. I had lost my job and spent a year with a jerk cardiologist. I kept getting them and to this day have a fear of getting my heart rate high. I don't get them anymore but can honestly say that having random extreme panic attacks is life ruining. What makes it worse was I did it to myself and couldn't undo it.