There’s a bump in the road. A million or more. Holes in the hardtop, And animals, lord! The lines go all missing. Whitenoise still hissing. Blissfully pissing You off. You can’t do this, can’t do this. Can’t do this no more. But look! There in the distance! Ignoring resistance asking Peaceful existence can you Curtail […]

Huh … said the dog. Wow! Said the cat. Lookie! Said the bird To the humans not looking back. All the people slept with Their eyes wide open. Forget about causation, Correlation was token. So sleep man, sleep. Enjoy a slumber unbroken. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Keep your chin up and Get out of that gutter. Smile like it’s breathing and Go hug your mother. Hug somebody’s mother or father Or you. Be you and live you and do what you do. Cause nothing else matters but Adding love to the stew. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

You better have your story figured out. You better know what it’s all about. You better not leave home without A story you know all about. And shout. It out. Then leeson real hard for echoes. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Those pioneers and their arrows! Stickin’ them in their backs. Not checkin’ whose at the door. Not lookin’ between the cracks. Not carin’ bout a place to shit. Just a hole in an outdoor box. Crumpled up paper for tissue. Wipin’ arse with hard knocks. Man you complain tamorry. Ain’t no time today. Whine your […]

Mister Compressor, what you say? Mister Grinder wants to play? He wants to tear across my leg? He wants me howlin OH MAN, FRIG!? He makes throw him to the floor. Makes me holler JESUS NO! Mister Grinder blows sparks though And where do you think his bloody sparks go? In an open pail of […]

The first thing that happened was shit. Shit happened. Shit got in everything. And whether you want or don’t want shit You are gonna hafta wear shit bling. It’s back in style! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Sittin’ ducks in a truck. Sittin’ ducks in a truck on fire. Why them ducks wait down to the wire? Hot ducks see that the duck lords aspire To a modus operandi of Sitting ducks on fire. You own your own ass! Get it through your thick beak! Don’t be sittin’ when ya should be […]

There were pigs downstairs and In the next room and the Whole garage was fulla Them too and it was Pigs in the morning, Night and at lunch. They seemed to like pigs A whole damn bunch. They stank like pigs and Thought it was cool and Their clothes bore pigs And their hats and […]

Two shits was all dude wanted. For somebody else to give. Emotional bloody bank accounts Livin’ like people live. C’mon make a deposit! And another before withdrawal. Someone will be there with you Lovin’ on your beck and call. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude wished to wake up different. Better than his stupid old self. But he had so little to work with. Most of him still on the shelf. Dreamt of those selves. Waiting like elves. For their dreamer to dream them awake. They then scurry, no hurry, And in overnight flurries they Bake a new dude […]

Things look different from The other side. Even if that side’s The same. The background’s different. The sun’s higher inna sky. But pointing it out cancels all gain. Notice you noticing. Ya, make a note of that. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Man we are stupid. Hangin’ on this floor. Danglin’ ona rough deck. Horror on horror. Muted explosions. Tiny screams with big meanings. Wrenching the elephant Funnels a-leaning. Lights meaning something like Nothing before. Things overhead now acting as floor. And down down down down. No up is around its just Over the event horizon. Thank […]

Happy all the time isn’t happy. It’s sad. And happy all the time isn’t better. It’s bad. Cause happy needs contrast to really be had. And contrast to happy doesn’t mean to be a cad. It won’t reside in dad. Or suckers wearing plaid. For glad becomes a fad. A hurtful once comrade. A stark […]

Shite Starts Here

Let's say you're one of those folks who has never vaped potty pot pot. Well, smartypants, that's not going to help you here much is it?!

TICKETS!

Get your tickets ready please!

Oh uh, hello there. How you doing?

Listen, my name is Barry and I'm the Conductor on this train so if you need anything, you just ask me, okay?

The bathrooms are right over there and please, pick up after yourself on account of I clean the place, too.

And uh, seeing as you're not from around here I'll just tell you straight out - although every story you might hear on this train is true, some stories are "truer" than others, if you can read between the rails...