I hear ya, this is difficult. I'm the type that never ever wants to hurt people's feelings.....but I have lots of friends who are more experienced swingers, and they have all pretty much told me the same thing. Number one, you are NOT dating this person or couple. You should keep it short and to the point. Not hurtful, but definately getting your point across. Shelly

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We dont have a problem saying It was great to meet, chat, have dinner, but we dont think there is compatibility...thanks for a great (fill in the blank) and we hope to see you out and about :) ...Lisa and Don..

Spring TX

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If you have a low self esteem or are overly sensative. Please don't get involved in this lifestyle or at the very least have your partner handle communications. This lifestyle of FULL of rejections and people that cut communication. Too many people jump in here and take personal offense when they are rejected. When you don't click, just be honest. Don't beat around the subject and preferably don't ignore them hoping they will go away. Just come out and state that the chemistry is not there with a polite no thanks. --Don't get into discussions on why because most of the people that start such lines of questions are looking for subject matter to try and change your mind.

Sandston VA

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I have met couples where things just didn't click a few times. I suppose that is the advantage of a casual meeting. You can chat, and if get the feeling that things woun't work out, you should be honest. If the people you're meeting make a big scene in a public place, you probably were right to trust your instincts. If they are truely into the lifestyle, they will be open minded and understand.

Harrisburg PA

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I have gone to dinners or driven great distances for meets and greets to meet people whom I have clicked with very much in cyberspace. I always go with an open mind and try to tone down expectations of what I think the person will be like in person. Sometimes, there is just no chemistry or spark of any kind when you actually meet. I can tell when the other person does not feel it too. That's just the nature of the game. What is really disappointing is when they still try to "force" the sexual encounter. I don't mean the word force in a negative sense, I mean that they still want to have sex even though you know it will not be memorable or to your liking. I have no problem with them "giving it a shot", but after we agree it is just not working, don't push it. Enjoy the time you had together and walk away with a smile and pleasant memory. There is always something positive to be learned from every encounter. Your next encounter just might be the one.

RaveN ( :~

Fort Worth TX

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Welcome to the Forums, Batt.

Honolulu HI

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How come people do not know the difference between being nice and wanting to play? Having a nice time with others where you just are not going to play but having an enjoyable evening.

Sarasota FL

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We have had a problem with telling people "not interested" also...but sometimes coming right out with it works best. Good forum...seems it would be easier to tell people...I worry about hurt fellings...very soft heart here I guess.... oh and hey ya'll! C and A

Hattiesburg MS

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if you meet a couple and you really don't click ??? How do you let them know or what do you do later when they want to chat???