August's Headlines

The Eclipse, Pots of Money and No
Smoking

Paris:- Sunday, 8. August 1999:- The newspaper
headlines reflect the essential character of the first week
of this month, when editors suspect nobody may be reading
them.

Heat, pollution - what you need to know, on Tuesday.
Eclipse glasses alert, on Wednesday. The passion of
do-it-yourself, on Thursday. Football player transfer fee
phenomenon, on Friday. Beaches - the new restrictions, on
Saturday. All, heavy reading.

Why Heat Worsens
Pollution

Dog-day heat and increasing pollution are more and more
common, says Le Parisien. The earth is heating up - true,
says Le Parisien. High temperatures worsen automobile
pollution - true, says the paper. And so on, including every summer's standard claim that
drought is gaining ground in France.

This was the theme of the day last in Tuesday's editions
- based on Monday's weather. By mid-week, winds were
blowing in summer storms and blowing away pollution; just
like every summer.

The one new element about wind, was the mention that
Paris' pollution blew southwest - to cause initial
pollution alerts, not in Paris, but in the southwest
departments of Essonne and Yvelines. Two departments, in
themselves, relatively pollution-free.

Three out of five of Le Parisien's readers did not agree
with the paper's proposition that summers are more and more
warm - proving perhaps that Le Parisien's readers are
skeptical about what they read and go by what they
feel.

By week's end summer storms had caused flooding and
downed power lines throughout France, forcing the
electricity company to recall vacationing line
workers.

Fake Eclipse Shades

Exactly one week before the mythic date of our celestial
magic show, stories appeared about the inability of certain
'CE'-branded eclipse safety-glasses to shield spectator's
eyes from the sun's powerful radiations. The first dud
glasses were made in Colombia.

Fraud inspectors, of whom there are not many, attempted
to verify some of the 36 million pairs of glasses ready to
be distributed or in circulation. Many of these are sold
for a nominal five francs or given away in every sort of
promotion.

An inspection of your own eclipse glasses should reveal
a printed mention as follows: 'CE' and 'INRS,' 'BSA' or
'DIN-CERTCO,' for respectively, France, Britain and
Germany. The suffix-letters
stand for the technical certification organizations in each
country.

If the only thing you can see through your eclipse
glasses are clearly-defined, lit halogen lamps, then your
glasses are probably okay. Even if okay, during the eclipse
it is recommended that you only glance at the spectacle for
seconds at a time.

Other dud glass was reporting to be coming from Taiwan
by TV-news, which ran one or more eclipse items in every
broadcast. For last-minute Charlies like me, I'll get up
early Tuesday and buy Le Parisien or its national edition,
Aujourd'hui, which is attaching eclipse glasses to 600,000
copies.

It's Crazy Summer Do-It-Yourself Time

Some 40 percent of the residents of France do not go
away for summer vacations. Some of these stay-at-homes
cannot afford to, but many others use their annual days off
to decorate their new houses or apartments, or redecorate
their existing ones.

Just when you think shoppers may be a bit thin on the
sidewalks of the Rue de Rivoli in central Paris, all you
have to do is visit the basement hardware departments of
Samaritaine and the BHV, to see where the action is.

Dads, and some moms, are busily buying paint, brushes,
wallpaper, tools, sinks, and all of the other odds and ends
designed for renewing or improving living quarters.

Le Parisien has expert advice: 'With two hours available
for do-it-yourself, go to a movie,' says one. In a day, you
can carpet on 10 square-metre room, Mr. Fixit says. In
three days, you can paint one. With a whole week, you can
tile your kitchen floor.

The secret to most home-improvement jobs is to spend
two-thirds of the time on preparation, a bit on doing the
job, and a good bit on cleaning up the mess.

Two of Le Parisien's interviewed lady 'bricoleures'
do-it-themselves, two get their husbands to do it and one
tricks friends into doing it. No men were asked if they
liked doing 'bricolage.'

My answer on their behalf, sitting in a new apartment
that needs some work, is I wish I had a husband who liked
doing it. If do-it-yourself is seen as a sea of
opportunity, I am in the Bermuda Triangle of
it.

Paris Kid Gets 'Jackpot'

TV-news did not abandon eclipse news entirely late in
the week to go gaga about the transfer fee paid by Real
Madrid to Britain's Arsenal for young footballer Nicolas
Anelka, which was
reported to be 220 million francs - something like 37
million dollars.

It was not a record for this transfer season, but it was
pretty good for a big kid from Trappes in Yvelines, who
will receive a monthly salary of two million francs, on a
contract lasting seven years.

Anelka started out as a junior with PSG and went into
first division competition at 17 in 1996. In January of
1997 he signed with Arsenal and was with them in 1998 when
Arsenal captured the British Cup; scoring the winning goal
over Newcastle. Called back to France for the national
team, he was not selected to play in the World Cup last
year.

The young footballer did not have an easy time with the
sporting press in England, and we'll have to wait and see
how he does with Real Madrid's fans, who will be expecting
more than great things from this star player.

'Rules'
Invade French Beaches and Resorts

In the summertime - and in this summer particularly -
the French like to go to the beach and act relaxed.

They like to listen to music, smoke a Gitanes or two,
and maybe have a little Rosé with their noontime
picnic. If something is missing, they like to just go to
the nearest shop in the seaside resort and get it.

This summer, in many places, some of or all of the above
have been banned by certain beachside communities. The
no-smoking rule applies to some beaches where grass and
trees are near the sand and the fire hazard is high.

It also applies to some beaches that are very wide. As
far as music goes, personal sound systems have been around
for a long time, and not everybody wants to hear somebody's
else's musical choices from a portable stereo box. Some
people will not leave their portable phones at home either,
but these have not been banned yet.

Apparently the mayors of some towns think shoppers
wearing only bathing suits are a health hazard, and have
set minimum dress codes. Deauville did this three years ago
for the benefit of the idle well-offs, but this year it is
neighboring 'populaire' Trouville that has followed suit -
although without fines for infractions.

For the no-smoking, the fines can run from 900 francs to
5000 - but this is for the prevention of forest fires in
risky areas, mainly where the windy Mistral is common.

Begging has been banned in Sète on the
Mediterranean and 'aggressive' begging has been banned in
Nice on the Côte d'Azur. The anti-nudity decrees
affect Arcachon and Cannes as well as Deauville.

The drinking ban at Morlaix, Canet-en-Roussillon and
Béziers seems to be the result of young people being
careless with multiple sixpacks of beer, and their empties.
Beach-side bar keepers do not all agree with the bans;
some are indifferent
while others welcome them because the stuff is purchased at
supermarkets.

Many of the French do not care for these bans, decrees
and possible fines, even if they do not drink, smoke or go
in for nude shopping. The beach is believed to be an area
of 'total' freedom from city nuisances such as parking
tickets and other forms of year-round stress.

The problem seems to be that there are many more older
and conservative people around who want to have city
standards of conformity, while there is a minority of young
people who want to 'let it all hang out' a bit further than
is really necessary.

The vast majority of the French are willing to accept
'laissez-faire' in summer, and many of the police called on
to enforce the new regulations, would prefer not
to.

Weather Forecast for the Eclipse

TV weather-news has been followed in Northern France
with more attention than usual, as the date for the eclipse
draws near.

In line with the media's tendency to act as a
spoil-sport, weather reports late in the week were
semi-gloomy for next Wednesday. Tonight's report has
reversed this trend, with black clouds to the north and
north-east, leaving a narrow band of clear air from the
channel, almost to Alsace.

The official weather guru says, forecasts are accurate -
plus-minus 500 kilometres. The path of the eclipse will not
vary by 'plus-minus 500 kilometres' so on Wednesday, you
will either need the smoked goggles, or you won't.

I will have my cameras' batteries charged fully, just in
case. I will not cheat by taking any pictures at night, or
just putting in black rectangles and calling them 'photos'
either.