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Okay Without Wishes

I wasn’t sure that I was going to make it tonight. I spent a few hours in A&E this evening, and we were pushing it. I had the thrill of changing in a car park, and running to the venue where someone else had luckily tuned my flute for me. It’s always me that gets into the wars, isn’t it!?

I had to be there. Tonight was the night of my last ever concert with my school jazz band. That’s sad, I’m so so upset to leave. In the last piece of my set, I had tears in my eyes, but tonight, I found watching the other bands harder still.

With her very ill and at home, I stood and watched others play the solos that should belong to my best friend. Once more, I looked for a star to wish upon. Again, the clouds meant that I couldn’t find one. Maybe that means that we don’t need a star and it’ll be okay without wishes. I’m not going to stop wishing on my heart though, I simply cannot take that risk.

I’m contemplating life again, and I’m not sure how it’s going to pan out. It’s a big and scary world out there, but I’ve decided that I need to keep up a game of pretend, concentrate on the little things, and have fun. I’ve enjoyed tonight, but I think that the given situation meant that it was important to sit alone and let down my guard for a few seconds, to allow myself to worry.