Ashley Marie

Canada

I had my “aha moment” a little over 2 years ago when a man who I knew was the one walked out on me. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate on work.

My best friend managed to temporarily drag me out of my misery and convince me to go away on vacation for some much needed R&R.

In the airport gift shop I stumbled upon a women’s relationship book that changed my life. It was like someone pulled back the curtain to show me a whole new perspective that I had never even considered.

Behind that curtain was the notion that I played a role in the demise of my relationship and every other relationship I had been in for that matter. I realized that in my efforts to be a combination of a strong independent woman and a perfect girlfriend I had failed miserably at both.

In reality I was operating from a place of fear and I carried a huge resentment from past failed relationships. I dressed it up and pretended that when I would search through my boyfriend’s phone, make him feel guilty for going out with his friends, or say things that to him that were less than flattering, that I was doing it from a place of love.

It wasn’t my fault that every single one of my previous boyfriend’s cheated on me. “It’s who I am, I can’t help it” I would tell him. That facade allowed me to blame everyone else but myself. It protected my ego but in the end it always broke my heart.

I didn’t realize that I did have a choice. That my past did not equal my current or future reality. I only continued to see the same patterns because my patterns were the same. From that point forward I decided I was going to walk toward a future full of only positive and happy relationships.

Just 6 months after this mindset shift my boyfriend and I got back together.

I am grateful to say we have a completely different and totally fulfilling relationship. I want you to have that too :)