Male and Female Perspectives on Last Night’s New Girl: Worst Episode Ever, or Are We Just PMSing?

Did Orientalism, menstruation humor, Münchausen Syndrome, and unlikely virginity join forces to make last night’s New Girl the very worst episode of the series? Your recappers disagreed on the matter! Who thought this episode was horrendous? And who thought it was merely very bad? Plus: bonus Diablo Cody impression!

*Juli Weiner:*Maybe I was just PMSing (I am not PMSing) but was that the very worst episode of New Girlthus far or what?

Bruce Handy: Well, it’s complicated. A very tricky episode from a “male perspective” in that I found Jess’s PMS kinda funny—who knew, but Zooey Deschanel does angry very well; I’d like to see her play the take-no-prisoners lead in a Liam Neeson-style revenge movie. And yet, as a man, I have been trained by years of inter-gender experience not to find PMS at all funny in the least. Not funny. But, I confess I cracked a couple smiles last night. (A woman wrote this episode! A woman wrote this episode!) I was watching with my teenage daughter and when I laughed, she said, “I don’t get it.” I explained, in my best dad voice, “Jess has what’s called pre-menstrual syndrome, but the show is treating it very hyperbolically.” And she said, in her best annoyed voice, “Dad, I know what PMS is—I just don’t think this stupid show is funny.” So. . . did I mention a woman wrote this episode?

To really answer your question, though, I thought the previous week’s Halloween episode was the worst episode of New Girl thus far.

Weiner: Jess’s conspicuous PMSing was just too screwball and too Diablo Cody for my taste. (Diablo Cody: “Fempire” member alongside New Girl creator Liz Meriwether.) First of all, though we, as a society, have blah blah blah feminism blah blah normalization blah natural process blah stems from self-hatred blah blah, women are not so quick to moan and groan and whine and cry and yell about something that literally happens every month, and has been happening, in Jess’s case, for almost two decades. Even by our 20s, ladies have kind of figured out that, say, taking two Advil, or day-drinking, or yoga, or whatever is their specific cure for PMS and kind of just get on with it. It was just so unrealistic that Jess would behave that way in front of a girlfriend, let alone her three male roommates. In Liz Meriwether’s terrible (though, in her defense, heavily re-written) movie No Strings Attached, there’s a similar scene of women lying around on couches, clutching blankets and ice packs, and experiencing menses and whining in tandem. I really do not think this is a thing that happens outside Liz Meriwether projects.

Also, I say “too Diablo Cody” because I physically cringed each time Jess used another wacky, whimsical euphemism for menstruation. (“Baby box,” “devil in my belly,” etc.) Just awful.

Handy: In fairness to dumb gender comedy, guys don’t actually show off their jerk-off chairs to each other, either, or even have them, as was depicted in I Love You, Man.

Weiner: To put not a period on but an ellipses in the menstruation discussion, each of the other plotlines was tied with the PMS thing for stupidest plotline. Allow me to elaborate: It was the big Orientalism episode, I guess. Nick met a funny old Asian man in the park, who we know is Gentle and Wise and Connected To Nature because he does not initially appear to speak English. He shows Nick the ways of Water Massage, because his people, whomever they are, are more in tune with their spirituality than the white man.

Second: Winston develops Münchausen Syndrome with respect to Jess’s period. Why has this not happened earlier if this were going to be a thing? Does Jess get her period but once every two years? Peanut butter and jealous! Moving on.

Third: Schmidt’s boss (Carla Gugino) sexually harasses him, makes him sign some sort of bizarre contract concerning potential emotional and physical consequences of their intercourse, and then, when she cannot tie an extremely long rope around his wrists, Schmidt (correctly, it seemed!) guessed that it was “her first time.” Has this attractive, confident, and successful 40-something woman not had sex before? I don’t understand.

I defy you to defend any one of these plotlines and convince me that this was not the worst episode of the series.

*Handy:*Gauntlet! Um, yes, the Orientalism plot line was stereotypical and unfunny. I was glad, though, that when the Gentle and Wise Old Asian Man finally talked, he didn’t talk in gangsta-style or something. The would have combined a racial cliché and a comedy cliché and been doubly offensive. The Winston thing was embarrassing, as well, although at least Winston finally got to do something, and also take off his shirt, so I give the episode props for that. I was most bothered by the Schmidt storyline because it wasted Gugino, whom I really like, although has she ever had a decent part?

*Weiner:*Yes! The crazily campy and fun *Political Animals!*She is fantastic and genuinely very sexy in that.

Handy: I would argue by the virtue of Winston having something to do, even it was a lame something, and my mild amusement at Jess’s PMS, it was not the worst episode of New Girl ever, though I hope we can find common ground—like Democrats and Republicans!—in agreeing that it was not a “good” episode.

One last thing: Can we go back to PMS and Diablo Cody? There was one line where Jess says, “I feel like I just laid a thousand eggs and they’re all hatching at once.” Is that. . . really what it feels like?

*Weiner:*No! Ugh, what? See, this is why this episode is not just very bad but truly egregious. If you’ve already committed to being so florid in your description of menstrual cramps, for some reason, at least get it right, you know. [Takes bite of Snackwells.] It feels like. . . being punched in the stomach in slow motion over the course of a few hours. Or, in Diablo Cody–speak: “The dot at the end of my sentence is size-96 font on a 3 x 5 index card of pain, compadre. Uteruses R us, Gus,” I suppose?