Law of Attraction: How Do I Know Which Choice is ‘Right?’

I wanted to ask about recognizing the “right” opportunity when there are an abundance of options. I have gotten to a place, especially with money and relationships, where I recognize that I don’t need to “cling” to any one thing, that there is an abundance of everything and that I don’t need to be desperate. Since making that shift, I’ve noticed that I’m getting tons of job offers etc. these days.

But this is creating another dilemma because now I’m almost hesitant to commit or make decisions. Or, once I do make a decision (to take this job or that), I worry a bit that I’m making a premature choice and that something better could come along (especially when these offers are convenient but maybe not ideal). I know that you say that there is no action we can take that is “wrong,” but I’m curious how we can tell if an opportunity is really right or not. Especially when there is so much abundance, sometimes it can feel overwhelming! Should I just go with whatever *feels* best in the moment?

-Kel

So like many questions people ask to make sure we are doing this whole law of attraction thing ‘right’, this one can’t really be answered in the way our mind wants it answered. While I would love to give you some definitive guide to help you make these sorts of decisions, I am not capable of providing such a thing.

But I think you will find these insights helpful, and hopefully it can ease some of that lovely anxiety that tends to surface on this journey.

Very Few Things are Permanent

I know that we just want to get all the stuff we want as soon as possible, figure out what we want to do the rest of our lives, find the person we will marry right this second, manifest all the money we will ever need all at once, and just have everything be perfect and settled.

Sure we still want to keep creating to some degree, but by and large, we want the ‘big’ stuff all figured out once and for all. This feeling may be very obvious to some, while for others, this desire is not so conscious.

We may tire of the ‘journey’ and just want to be ‘done.’ I totally get that. But you are never really ‘done’ even if you seemed to have settled into a path you don’t see yourself straying from too much–you are already in your dream job, already have the great relationship,etc…

This desire to be ‘done’ can create a lot of pressure to make sure we are making the ‘right’ decisions, that we are choosing the ‘best’ option. We don’t want to ‘waste’ time on the ‘wrong’ opportunities, experiences or people.

We want to make sure we get exactly what we want, and we don’t mess it up somehow. We don’t want to miss the boat. We don’t want any unnecessary delays.

This fear stems from a couple of premises that aren’t exactly solid.

First, to have this fear means there is a belief there is only one ‘right’ path for you, one particular combination of decisions you best get right lest you will get off the path and never get what you want.

If you choose ‘wrong’ now, you’re stuck where you are; this ‘wrong’ decision closed off all sorts of possibilities that may be really good, and you’re shit out of luck.

There is something you are ‘supposed’ to be doing, you have some pre-defined purpose you are tasked with finding and carrying out in a very specific way.

I think our ‘purpose’ is to just be us, and make that journey as pleasant as possible by nurturing our connection to spirit, doing what makes us happy in our personal and professional lives, and prioritizing our well-being.

Second, at the root of this fear is the belief it is all up to you to make everything happen, and how your life turns out hinges solely on your decisions and actions, without accounting for your energy in any way, your ability to create and choose your predominant feelings and focus.

But we know our reality is truly created by way of our inner world, and not solely based on our actions. You’ll always be able to get what you want, when you figure out what it is you truly want–the feelings. Cultivate them and you can’t help but attract things that match those energies.

Very few decisions in life are permanent, and like Kel mentioned, I like to remind people you can’t really make a ‘wrong’ decision. No matter what decision you make, it will serve you somehow, whether to alert you to a belief not serving you, give you further clarity on what you like and don’t like, or some sort of validation of your path, your beliefs,etc…

I think intellectually we may understand this impermanence, and ability to shift gears, and go in new directions, but how we are feeling is very different.

Whatever you are drawn to in the moment is a match to something in your energy, in your vibration, and you will benefit somehow, so long as you are willing to adopt this sort of perspective.

So if you take a job and it turns out you don’t like it, you didn’t make the ‘wrong’ decision in choosing it. If you were feeling torn between two guys, and the relationship didn’t work out with the person you chose, again, you didn’t make a ‘wrong’ decision in choosing that person.

You can always quit the job you don’t like and find a new one. You can always move back home if the new city isn’t what you thought it would be. You can always break up with the person if things aren’t working out.

The real root of this sort of issue boils down to our good old-fashioned desire to control everything, and make sure things go just as our mind envisions them, with minimal ‘drama.’ And by ‘drama’ I mean basically anything that happens that our mind initially reacts to as ‘negative.’

I have tried to do my best to get into the flow, see how life unfolds before me, see what my manifestations are inviting me to explore more deeply, and follow my feelings and intuition more closely, rather than try to ‘plan’ everything out.

I figure as long as I am doing the things I do because they bring me joy in some way, things will work out just fine. As I follow that joy wherever it leads, I will always be moving in the ‘right’ direction.

It’s All about the Feeling

Kel actually answered her own question right at the end. We create so much confusion for ourselves due to our tendency to ‘think’ our way through everything. We have to weigh the pros and cons. We have to think what makes the most sense. We have to think ‘logically.’ We have to be ‘realistic.’

Don’t get me wrong–this mode of operating serves us quite well in many instances. Not so much in the world of conscious creation however. This is where our feelings take front and center; this is where our intuition and inner ‘knowing’ really get to shine.

When we really begin to understand (like truly get it, not just understand intellectually) the contents of our inner world is shaping our reality–thoughts, feelings and beliefs–we see the immense value in following our feelings, in letting them be the primary guiding force in our life. To do otherwise makes no sense really.

Our feelings alert us to the paths and decisions that will be of most benefit to us at this moment in our journey. They lead us to the next step–which is all we can ever see anyway. Can’t stress that enough.

All we want at the end of the day is to feel a certain way, and when we identify more closely the specific feelings we want more of in our life, that we value most highly, it makes sense to choose the job, person, experience, or whatever else, that will allow us to feel those feelings.

And then we create that energy more strongly in our life, and as that energy builds and becomes more dominant, we attract more things that mirror that energy back to us. It’s such a beautiful, simple system, and we complicate the fuck out of it, but I digress.

We might keep traveling along a similar path, we might keep that same job, we might stay in that same relationship, or we may shift gears and go in another direction.

When we become more comfortable basing our decisions on how we feel, all the confusion that comes with trying to ‘figure’ things out in ‘thinking’ mode falls away. This is a totally different mode of operating, a much easier way of operating.

It might not feel that way at first, and this is certainly a process. You might not always go with what feels best–too much other stuff to work through first, and that is just part of the journey sometimes. We often need to learn certain lessons personally, to really feel that frustration, before we are willing to release the more complicated, painful way of doing things.

The example of choosing a job that is not ideal but convenient is a perfect example of how fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, logical thinking and the like tend to drive our decisions, and alert us to the reality we are not quite aligned with the best representations of our manifestations, that we are not quite in a space to follow our feelings, and trust the guidance and insights they are providing.

The only reason we would take a job we don’t really want is because we think the type of job we really want isn’t possible, it is a type of job we ‘should’ want because it looks good on paper, or we are being driven by some sort of fear, such as running out of money.

When we start to break down what is really going on behind our inability to choose, difficulty figuring out our path and what have you, we see all this ‘stuff’ at the root of it–the fears, the limited thinking, the tendency to think things through ‘logically,’ which is almost always going to be in conflict with ‘feeling things through.’

Following the feelings doesn’t require us to take all the things into account we normally do when ‘thinking’ and decisions that seem difficult actually aren’t difficult at all. It seems like a no-brainer to turn down a job you really aren’t feeling drawn towards, especially in Kel’s instance, where she has seen a lot of ‘evidence’ of her shifting energy in the form of increased opportunities.

The Importance of Examination and Reflection

There is only so much external guidance can do for us. You can educate yourself more about certain topics; you can more closely study the work of certain teachers that really resonate.

You expose yourself to perspectives that might not have occurred to you, and they can be very helpful. These things are obviously a cornerstone of our personal development journey.

But there are just certain questions that can’t be answered in the way our mind wants them answered. There is no set way to do things. There is no concrete list of criteria to examine decisions that can help you know without a doubt, which is the ‘right’ one to make, which one is the ‘best.’

It would be great if such answers and guidelines were available. It would be great if manifestations held the same meaning across the board for everyone, and there was some flow chart we could consult.

Again, intellectually we understand this, but on a different level, we are seeking such definitive information because naturally we are confused, afraid we will make the wrong choices, and then God forbid, we aren’t going to get what we want.

This is where the self-reflection and deeper examination comes in. This is where a real willingness to follow your inner guidance, to buy into the idea your feelings are a guidance system of sorts, comes in.

Only we can truly know what is happening in our energy, and what the things we manifest may be mirroring back to us. Only we can know what path or decision may be of most benefit to us at this time.

When we are willing to do this deeper examination that I know most of us want to avoid like the plague, it becomes clearer why certain things manifested, and their purpose. And with this clarity, making decisions becomes a lot easier. It gets easier to see what decision may be the best in this moment.

Going back to the job example, there are lots of reasons one could manifest opportunities that may seem okay on paper, but are not ideal in one way or another. This self-examination, again, can give you a better sense of why you personally manifested it.

Maybe it was to help you further clarify your ideal job. There are some elements you like but some that still don’t quite fit, and now you can fine-tune things.

Maybe it was an opportunity to strengthen energies and perspectives that are going to serve you better, to act from a space of trust. You want a job, but you know you don’t want that job, and you are no longer going to do things you don’t want to do; you know you can manifest a better job, and you are willing to walk away from what you know isn’t right for you.

Maybe this decision is the perfect opportunity to explore a particular fear or belief more deeply that isn’t serving you, such as a fear around money or a belief in the necessity of ‘compromise.’

Again, only you can know.

This is why getting to know ourselves better is such a crucial component of this ‘work.’ The better you know yourself, the more you can consciously shape a life that is a good reflection of your joys, your passions, your values.

The better you know yourself, the easier it is to see whether certain people, opportunities, experiences and the like are right for you or not. The easier it is to walk away from things you just know aren’t best for you in your heart, no matter how much it makes sense to pursue something from a logical perspective, how much it seems you ‘should’ want this thing from a logical perspective.

The better you know yourself, the better you know what you are truly after in life, what would truly make you happy. And that knowledge will allow you to align more consistently with manifestations that are a great reflection of these deeper wants. It will make it easier to make certain changes in your life, to release what is holding you back or not serving you.

I have made a lot of unconventional choices in my life, and went against the grain in many ways. It was almost never comfortable, and I faced lots of challenges.

But because I had given some thought to what I really wanted out of life, had a strong sense of who I was and what I wanted, I was able to keep going in spite this discomfort. Other people not agreeing or understanding didn’t have as strong an impact because I knew I was doing what was right for me, and their thoughts about my choices literally meant nothing.

It helped me make choices much more easily because I tuned into my feelings and nothing more. I only had one factor to take into consideration–how I felt about it. All the stuff my mind deemed ‘necessary’ for consideration really wasn’t.

There are some questions only we have the answers to. Those answers are in there, and this self-reflection and examination will give us access to that wisdom.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? How do you assess decisions and figure out what may be best for you? Looking forward to your comments as always.

24 Comments

I dig the point about this journey being so fluid and changing. The opposite of the root of fear in this regard: the belief that there is a “right” choice. No such thing. It is a choice. Just a choice. No big deal. When fun and love guide you, the right/wrong goes out the window. Fabulous advice.

Sometimes the worst things are the best things in disguise. I was let go from a job and “unable” to find another; it was the Universe guiding me to start a consulting business I “should have” been doing all along. I had to let go of my death grip on life to start living. Living my life as me. Thank you for your heartfelt writings. You help clarify the “rules” of the inner game.

Hi Nan Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. I love what you said about the ‘death grip.’ I often use that term to describe how our mind attaches to certain things and ways of being. I am glad you are finding my work helpful…it always means a lot to hear that.

Another great article full of wisdom Kelli, I too take decisions based on my feelings and I’ve been, still being criticized about it, my parents want me to take a job that pays well and stable which I know I’m gonna hate myself because of it (it’s a job in the customer service and I’m an introvert who doesn’t like to socialize much and I tried a similar one before in the call center department) and I keep rejecting then they start saying that I will not find any other job because that’s what’s available now and that it’s good to stay jobless, that I must do some kind of job. I have started my own business and I’m starting to see that I might not enjoy it (it’s doing good either) and now going back to soul searching and reflecting to find who I am and own it.

Hi Tina It is challenging when our way of moving through the world is not in line with those around us, especially people like our parents. They are great triggers for our insecurities, lack of clarity, need for approval and all that other fun stuff. It would probably be helpful for you to examine that a bit. Ultimately it is your life and you can live it how you want to, and the main issue now will be shoring up your own confidence and clarity–this will likely lead to them not bothering you as much, and when they do, you will react to it differently and it won’t bother you as much.

This is poetic. I guess it all boils down to choices and decisions. It is challenging but this is the beauty of life; making choices and taking decisions. This post is inspiring and I like it. It is soul searching and revealing. Thank you for reminding me of certain things in my life.

Hi Charles Thanks so much for your comment. You are right…it can be challenging. But the more we learn to act from inspiration, intuition and our feelings, it gets easier. It can just be hard to get started in that direction if we aren’t used to it, which most of us aren’t!

Wow Kelli, you did it again. It’s funny how the universe works–it seems to deliver to me the messages I need at the exact time I need them. Funny because… I was thinking of emailing someone today with a question I had about my particular situation, someone who’s a life coach or knows about the law of attraction. And as we know, it’s important who you ask for an opinion…. imagine asking someone who always made ‘logical’ decisions…. they wouldn’t be very helpful. But this blog post was enough.

Especially when you said: “Maybe it was an opportunity to strengthen energies and perspectives that are going to serve you better, to act from a space of trust. You want a job, but you know you don’t want that job, and you are no longer going to do things you don’t want to do; you know you can manifest a better job, and you are willing to walk away from what you know isn’t right for you.”

Thank you for this. I was so depressed yesterday and fear kicked in, making me think “I let go of an opportunity that I will never get again” but I woke up today knowing that was bullshit, because I wouldn’t have let it go if it felt right in the first place and I’m not used to making decisions on what FEELS right. Time to get used to it. The more I listen to my gut, the stronger I become. And the people around me start to change too, they start listening to and believing me more.

What is with that? Society seems to be all about the logical decisions, which don’t get me wrong, have their place and are quite useful. But I think logic should HELP guide our feelings rather than be a completely different mode of thinking and decision making.

It’s about emotional and logical integration. Don’t ignore our intuition and gut feeling, but don’t shut down our minds either. It’s incredibly powerful when one discovers how well they work in unison!

Hi Deb Thanks so much for your insight and wonderful comment. You are right about working to integrate both aspects of our mind. The ‘logical’ part certainly makes a valuable contribution. Like you said, there is a good chance that manifestation was one of those ‘time to put my money where my mouth is’ type of situations where we are given the chance to live our lives in this way we say we want to live them, and make the choices we want to make. We often don’t see that coming, and our mind can interpret these sorts of situations very differently. If it didn’t feel right, then you made the best choice without a doubt.

I recently discovered your podcasts and have been listening to them almost every day for the past couple of weeks. They really resonate with me, and I love your natural and “real” style, and also when you team up with Ryan occasionally, as your styles complement each other.

I’ve been “practicing” LOA for some time, but your podcasts have helped me clarify what I need to do more and less of. And the right podcast always seems to reach out to me when I most need it…I guess that’s an example of the LOA in action!

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for your wonderful podcasts and insights on LOA. I’m looking forward to hearing more 🙂

I just discovered your website; after recently “discovering” this whole LoA “thing” which is actually closely aligned with a recent interest in Taoism. I’m very new to this mode of following feelings and instincts, given my hyper-analytic, over-thinking, data-driven mind. Combined with a very deep seeded ideology that I’m not worthy (of true love, and deep devotion), thanks to very heavy-handed upbringing. I’ve been focusing on the mantra “I am worthy.” “I am feeling worthy of true love and deep devotion.” “I am feeling worthy of receiving the tremendous abundance of the Universe.” In just a few days, I have felt a powerful shift. This post was another answer. I was “torn” about a decision, and engaged my previous data-driven approach, which only resulted in more anxiety. Then, I imagined my feelings in each scenario. And I realized that I would learn something very important, regardless of the choice. I’m starting to notice that my anxieties tell me something important to learn, as well, so to pay attention, then address the core concern. Thank you for your sage advice and highly introspective writing.

Hi Denise Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. You are certainly not alone in being more reliant on the mind rather than the heart, nor in struggling with those sorts of issues. I love the mantras and that sort of consistent engagement with your energy is key to making those shifts more quickly and powerfully. You are certainly right in that your anxiety can alert you to things that are very helpful for you to look at and know. When we realize there is always something to be learned from whatever we experience, it eases a lot of ‘pressure’ on the decision making front. Great stuff!

Hi Kelli, I’ve recently discovered your blog and podcasts, which are amazingly helpful and insightful. I’ve read and listened to many. Thank you for sharing all this wisdom!

This blog post particularly resonated with me. My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me out of the blue a few weeks ago; no one saw it coming or understood. He could only say he had a feeling something wasn’t right. I, on the other hand, have always had a feeling we’d be together forever, and this feeling hasn’t left, only been reinforced over the past few weeks, especially as I’ve been on this journey of personal development. I experience sadness sometimes because I do miss him and the happiness of being with him, but I know not to focus on this feeling of ‘lack’ aka resistance, and instead focus on the good feelings of us being reunited- which, again, I fully believe in.

But if two opposite feelings of the same thing exist, how does that work? If his decision to break up was solely based on an unexplainable feeling, is there still potential for a ‘feeling reversal’ that will bring us back together?

Hi Margot THanks for your comment and I am so glad you are enjoying the blog. With anything we want, and particularly relationships, our mind tends to focus in on what is right in front of you and what you have already experienced. Perhaps you and your boyfriend do get back together–not something I can predict. But it is important to realize what you really want goes beyond him, even beyond the relationship. You want certain feelings that you think a relationship will give you, that your mind thinks likely only he specifically can give. If you can keep this in mind and be open to the idea that there is someone better for you, and his ‘purpose’ in your life has been served by whatever the manifestation of the break up is showing you, and perhaps he wasn’t meant to stay, it will be much easier to remain open to manifesting what you are ultimately after, whether it is with him or someone else. What our mind wants may not always be the best representation, and it can’t know all the different people and possibilities out there, so again, be careful of getting too attached to what, or who, it has set its sights on. Sometimes our ‘knowing’ is not really a true knowing but just something we really want to be true. Again, only time will tell but just remain open. Good luck!

Thanks for the response, Kelli. I think I kind of knew this in some way, but either way, it was helpful to read, especially coming from you. It prompted some soul searching while on a solo hike yesterday evening, and allowed me to see things in a new light. Just gotta keep that up! 🙂

No matter what, it’s all good and will be all good! Just see what the manifestation is bringing up for you–whatever it is, it’s helpful and will be relevant for the next ‘leg’ of the journey. Align with the energy of what you want and it will show up in some form, and remember detachment will never be painful. If you felt stuck or like you needed some more personalized insight, I would be happy to talk with you in a session. Good luck!

Margot, I can relate completely. I recently broke up with a man, after just shy of 2 years together. It has been a springboard to INTENSIVE introspection, deep personal discoveries, and amazing growth. And it has involved a boatload of pain and tears. I am preparing myself (from the inside) for my great love. I have clarified the “what” and the “why.” I have NO idea about the “when” or the “how” it (he) is coming to me. I only know THAT he is coming to me. I’m not even certain WHO. It may be a new, higher vibing version of my former love. Or someone brand new to me. I have many moments of wanting to take action. But I’ve placed myself squarely in RECEIVING mode. Way out of character for me, but oh so needed. Sending good vibes to you!

Thank you Kelli, as always. I’m having many ups and downs. Leaving that relationship and deepening this I internal journey has been quite uncomfortable, as all of the gunk and junk bubbles up to the surface. I have been reading ALL of your posts, in sequential order, from the beginning. And I took your advice to read through deliberatereceiving.comas well. And I’m working my way (slowly, thoughtfully) through your course on love & relationships. I’m gleaning so much clarity from your wisdom and honest attestations to your journey. I’m so grateful to you! I have a long way to go (with many moments of doubt, fear, sadness, anxiety, and oh so many tears!), but I’m recognizing & appreciating the mini manifestations along the way. The good feelings and positive thoughts are ever so slowly winning out, in the balance. I’m practicing patience and trust and yes, I’m practicing feeling happy, fulfilled, loved, protected, vakued, honored, and cherished. All from within my own heart. My intent is to maximize these awesome feelings with the man of my dreams, whomever he is. Thanks again Kelli. And all the best to you, Margot!

Everything you are doing is worth it. This is bringing you into a space where you can consistently maintain an energy that allows for manifesting with the greatest ease and getting the ‘top shelf’ experiences. You are healing the true causes of your discontent, and there is a great freedom in realizing the manifestations aren’t the answer. They’ll still show up for sure, and this way you can enjoy them much more. You’ll feel good when they come but not so much because you have these things now, but because they will be ‘evidence’ of all these wonderful beliefs and and perspectives, and that energy will just get stronger and stronger within, you’ll know you are being supported. It’s a great feeling.

Wow, you’re up, at the crack of dawn! As always, you offer great insight. As I’m reading through your posts, (and directly relevant to this post), I’m gaining more clarity with regarding to focusing on experiences that feel good, just for the sake of feeling good (and, to generally “clean up” energy); and making decisions that feel good, even when “logic” seems to contradict some choices. Recently, I have been struggling with my tween son. A plethora of super low-energy interactions. Then, I realized that I had succumbed to the (cultural) limiting beliefs of “parenting is hard, and even impossible, as a single mom, especially when raising a teenager.” After one particularly low parenting moment (I lost emotional control, and screamed at him, as I have never done, before), I realized that I desperately needed an emotional “reset button” with him, and that this really low energy was pervading all aspects of my life (as there is no way to compartmentalize energy). So, the next day, I came home from work, and said, “Let’s go buy a kayak.” Then we bought two. This decision made NO SENSE, from a financial perspective. (I’ve been focused on clearing debt, to build wealth). But, it just FELT like the right choice. The next day, I ordered the gear needed (roof rack; kayak carriers; life vests) for the new adventures. Told my son that it may take some time to arrive. Guess what? Everything arrived the very next day! How’s that, for lightness and ease of action? We enjoyed a tremendous day kayaking, last weekend, and have re-established much higher vibing interactions. So focusing on feeling good, and engaging in inspired action does work wonders! Just wanted to share my perspective. Thanks again for your wonderful blog!

This is a perfect example of how following the feelings always leads us to something beneficial. Like you have seen, focusing on the energy in any way that improves it overall is very valuable because it is the energy that creates, anything that raises our vibration is going to benefit our point of attraction, whether it is seemingly related to a specific manifestation or not. And by doing this, we get what we want much sooner–which is to just feel better.

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About Kelli

Hi, I'm Kelli! Welcome to my blog. In a nutshell, I am a writer and coach taking advantage of my mobile sources of income to indulge in my passion for travel. If I can get an internet connection, it's all good, and since May 2011, my husband Ryan and I have been 'citizens of the world.'

This blog is a result of the wisdom I have gained on my own journey to becoming the person I want to be and living the life I want to live. It is my hope what you read here will inspire you to do the same.