ProfessorTom – my apologies. I think poorly-written sex-scenes are such a big topic, I might have to tackle them on their own. This was more about the awkward segues into sex – if it helps, I promise you explicit hardcore action at a later date.

D. Watson – I like that. It does rely on you already owning a book called "Very Bad Poetry" however. I think there's a game to be had from colliding book titles. The Remains of the Day of the Jackal? The Art of War of the Worlds?