Tim Peeler of Cleveland County, NC was having a normal night calling coyotes at 3 AM, when suddenly a gorgeous, blond humanoid emerged from the brush. After two totally indecipherable 911 calls, Peeler's quest for the truth has gone national.

Peeler described the creature to authorities as 10 feet tall and towheaded — he exchanged brusque words with this Nordic beast-beauty and jabbed at it with a stick. You can watch his reenactment below.

What this report fails to mention is that Peeler called authorities twice at three o'clock in the morning — you can listen to those calls here and here, but you'll probably become bored 10 seconds in. Did Peeler see Knobby, the Bigfoot of Cleveland County? Or did he just need a sympathetic ear at the wee hours of night? Some mysteries are simply too perplexing to ever be answered, dear readers.