The Fall-Guy Quiz

Do you have what it takes to take the rap?

So you want to be a fall guy. Do you have the skills and the knowledge to paint that bull’s-eye onto your back? Take this simple quiz.

1.How does a president signal that Cabinet Secretary Jones is about to lose his job?

A. “I will consider the charges against Jones and then recommend a course of action.”B. “Frankly, I have my reservations about Jones, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.”C. “Jones and I have had a full and frank discussion. I’ll have more to say about that later.”D. “Jones has my full faith and confidence.”

2.What were the two events in American history for which E. Howard Hunt took the fall?

A. Watergate and the Vietnam WarB. Watergate and Iran-ContraC. Watergate and the overthrow of the Allende government in ChileD. Watergate and the Bay of Pigs

3. St. Thomas à Becket was murdered in Canterbury Cathedral by four perfidious knights. King Henry II punished these knights by banishing them and seizing their lands. What did King Henry say to the knights prior to Becket’s murder?

A. “See that nothing happens to my good pal the Archbishop of Canterbury.”B. “Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?”C. “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?”D. “I don’t want anything to happen to him while my mother’s alive.”

6. Why did Joshua Steiner, Treasury chief of staff during President Clinton’s first term, lose his job?

A. Because he permitted Jay Stephens, a Republican, to be appointed to investigate Madison Guaranty, a failed Arkansas savings and loanB. Because he permitted Deputy Treasury Secretary Roger Altman to recuse himself from the investigation of Madison GuarantyC. Because he kept a diaryD. All of the above

7. Which current TV-news personality was reported to have chewed Steiner out over the handling of Madison Guaranty?

If you got more than six out of 10 correct on either the multiple choice or the mix and match, you’ve probably got too much on the ball to make a good fall guy. But don’t lose heart! As I noted in an earlier column, you can be a good fall guy by making up in zealotry what you lack in dimwittedness.