Research on Spanking: It’s Bad For ALL Kids

In a new article, “Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children,” Elizabeth Gershoff reviews recent research on spanking.

Spanking is defined by Gershoff as “hitting a child on the bottom with an open hand” (p. 133).

Parents use spanking generally in order to reduce undesirable behavior and increase desirable behavior but because it is targeted toward an undesirable behavior can only possibly meet the first parenting goal. But does it work?

Researchers have looked at effects on three undesirable behaviors in children who are spanked: non-compliance in the short term, non-compliance in the long term, and aggression. This area is hard to study in the home because spanking rarely occurs at all nor in front of strangers. It is hard to study in the laboratory because of the prohibition against hurting subjects.

Nevertheless, some studies have been done. In one set of analyses with young children in the laboratory, time outs worked just as well as spanking for (immediate) subsequent compliance on 30 tasks assigned by the mother. Long-term compliance is decreased after spanking (Gershoff, 2002; Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2013).

Approaching this from a behaviorist perspective, conditioning by punishment (pain) requires that the consequence always occur immediately after every instance. When you touch a hot stove with a bare hand, you get burned, period. This does not occur with the behaviors parents spank for—parents are often not around to see them or are not willing or able to spank immediately afterwards.

Why is spanking ineffective for increasing desirable behavior?

Spanking does not convey positive guidance on how to behave in a particular situation, only how not to behave if a threat of punishment is at hand. Children learn positive behaviors from practicing actions that work, ones that lead to a sense of belonging and competence. They internalize what they practice and what their family practices. They learn reasons for their actions from what they hear and are told, but active practice has the deepest impact.

Why else is spanking harmful?

It undermines trust. Children trust their parents just a little less. They are more likely to step back from the relationship and build a self-protective shield around themselves in terms of relationships generally. Children can learn to mistrust the motives of others and become more threat reactive in social situations. It can lead to aggressive expectations—they are ready to aggress first before they are aggressed against.

No. Longitudinal studies show that spanking increases aggression in any child, no matter what their background or what the common practices of their community are (see Berlin et al., 2009; Gershoff et al., 2012).

How to stop using spanking

If you are a parent, or plan to be a parent, who wants to learn to not use spanking, HERE is a place for resources to help you.

More information: Check out a fellow blogger's post on how spanking harms the brain and more HERE.

NOTE on BASIC ASSUMPTIONS: When I write about parenting, I assume the importance of the evolved developmental niche (EDN) for raising human infants (which initially arose over 30 million years ago with the emergence of the social mammals and has been slightly altered among human groups based on anthropological research).

The EDN is the baseline I use for determining what fosters optimal human health, wellbeing and compassionate morality. The niche includes at least the following: infant-initiated breastfeeding for several years, nearly constant touch, responsiveness to needs so the young child does not get distressed, playful companionship, multiple adult caregivers, positive social support, and natural childbirth.

All these characteristics are linked to health in mammalian and human studies (see Narvaez, Panksepp, Schore & Gleason, 2013, for a review.) Thus, shifts away from the EDN baseline are risky. My comments and posts stem from these basic assumptions.

bullshit if my kid spits in my face calls me an fNNN BITCH HITS ME THIER GOING TO GET A SPANKING OR A SLAP IN THE FACE EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS IT WILL NOT KILL A CHILD TO GET SPANKED PARENTS TODAY ARE AT WITS END BECAUSE OF PANSY PSYCHOLOGISTS THIER IS NO FINE LINE BETWEEN CHILD ABUSE IF U HIT A CHILD HARD ENOUGH TO MARK OR BRUISE THEM ITS ABUSE BUT A SPANKING NO AUTHORITYIES HAVE TAKEN AWAY PARENTS RIGHTS KIDS TODAY TELL A PARENT FLAT OUT ILL DO AS I PLEASE IF YOU TRY TO STOP ME ILL CALL COPS OR CHILDREN SERVICES AN HOLLAR ABUSE WHO IS THERE TO PROTECT PARENTS GOOD ONES FROM ABUSEIVE CHILDREN HA ANSWER THAT DOCS NO ONE COPS TELL YOU WHEN YOUR KID GETS INTO TROUBLE YOU GOTTA CONTROL YOUR KID AN IF YOU TRY TO THE KID HOLLARS ABUSE TIME OUTS DONT WORK TAKEING THINGS AWAY DONT TOUGH LOVE IS CRAP COUNSELING NOPE KIDS TODAY THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE THIER OWN BOSS

It would help if you did not use all capital letters when making your point. Also proper punctuation goes a long way as well! Your post is difficult at best to read and looks like a big jumbled mess madam or sir.

Using the words "also" and "as well" in the same sentence is not necessary and grammatically incorrect since they both have exactly the same meaning. If you going to try and school someone regarding language skills, you'd better make sure yours is flawless.......

It would help if you did not use all capital letters when making your point. Also proper punctuation goes a long way as well! Your post is difficult at best to read and looks like a big jumbled mess madam or sir.

Better read your Bible again, instead of believing everything people tell you is in there. It doesn't say that at all, actually, if it did then the Jews would have made themselves extinct centuries ago by obeying it. Since there are still Jews (and more recently Christians) then wouldn't that kind of indicate that you're wrong? (I include the Jews in this because, were it in there, it would be in the Old Testament, when God was still all about final solutions. Since the Old Testament is based heavily on the Jewish sacred text the Torah, that means they'd be included in this nonsense.) What the Bible DOES say however is: 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' Though, to clarify, what they're referring to as a 'rod' is what people in the US South would call a 'switch'... which is simply the thin and flexible end of a tree branch, stripped of it's leaves and offshoots. (Stings like a bitch, and can often leave welts, but only draws blood when used with excessive force or when it's too big a branch. I'd know, I got beat with one for serious offenses like cussing AT my parents or grandparents. And no, I still don't consider it abuse. I consider it being taught to learn to have respect for others.) And whether you agree with that statement or not, let me point out that, while the Bible may NOT be perfect, neither are people, and for the most part, not one person you are ever likely to meet will have a moral compass half so well made that didn't come from something similar and similarly old. So be careful about those rocks you're throwing, cuz that glass house of yours doesn't have nearly as a clear a view as you seem to think it does.

"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death."

Basically it says just that. The "drunkard and profligate" part was just an example. This quote was for every type of rebellion. And you know what? We have both Christians and Jews?

People didn't kill their children in the past, not even in the Levant (where now's Israel). This quote just says that you can do this.

Leave it to atheistards to make up lies about the Bible, which they don't even read. (Let's be real, atheists are too stupid to read the Bible anyway; they wouldn't understand it, lol!)

People really shouldn't expect atheists to know anything about morality, either, lol!. They don't. If atheists could predict whether or not their child would grow up to be a theist, they would murder him/her without a second thought if he/she dares to become anything but an atheist.

Yeah... people shouldn't look to atheists as a moral guide, lol! People without morals (a.k.a. atheists) can't be trusted with anything, lol!

Atheists sure talk big for people with no moral compass and no brains, lol! :D

Children are our mirrors....if you don't like what you see, look at yourself and their upbringing. Only a child that is treated with disrespect would be so extremely disrespectful to a parent. Spanking isn't going to fix the damage you've done!

No, punishment doesn't work. Time-outs can be just as damaging as spanking, often more so the way they're frequently used (disobey me and I'll remove all my love until you earn it back....way to model really dysfunctional relationships!). If you work towards developing good relationships with your children, offer them more, not less, and most of all, be respectful...this is what your children will learn and model in their own life. If you instead treat your child like a dumb animal that is destined for evil, guess what you get?

A child is NOT a "mirror of you".. a child is an individual that has to be taught right from wrong and the ways of the world.
If you are parenting in the style that you describe, your kids are one step away from feral.
Grow a set and learn how to be a parent.

you may say that children are just a mirror reflecting the behaviors of the parents. by saying actually putting down the person hood of a child,

There is mothers we know who sleep at night with knifes besides her.. she raised her daughter so lovingly .. never is scold her nor spank her for her wrong doings... at last the mother now is living in fear daily...
please don't advocate something irrelevant in order to get your Ph.d... and make other parents life a spoil.

Abusive parents and guardians like ones I dealt with love to use that particular passage you quoted. Til they're blue in the face. They hate this other part, because it qualifies behaviour:

discipline your children, but don't twist up their minds and hearts with inconsistent, vicious, and just cold treatment.
No, it is not encouraging you to spoil your kids, simply not make them into more mad-persons we have running around (like myself) with -ANY- sort of abusive treatment...this includes the stuff you're saying. That effects children. And if your kids are that aggressive and you're saying all that, I can't help but think maybe you're part of the problem.

I have relatives, actually that were/are like that with their parent. The fighting and screaming. I remember when I was younger (its hard to forget) seeing and hearing their parent beat them. I won't say "spank" because they were NOT spankings. I'm sure none of you have had the dis-privilege of know what that sounds/looks like. But let it be known that those kids grew up pretty screwed up. And to this day they scream and fight each other. And the relationships and behaviors within are so horrible that when they're at least in front of each other screaming and fighting, its on the lower end of horrible.
I don't think that's good.

you're absolutely right kate....kids today think they have the right to be their own boss and grow more abusive to be expected...they are the ones who don't need any counselling for they are already immuned to what they had been

Well maybe if you took some time to question your parenting skills you wouldn't think that. Oh and I don't maybe kids are just smart enough to know that they're a human being who can think for themselves and don't have to go through emotional trauma because of shitty people like you. Which sounds better
'Your child commuting suicide from being depressed because they feel neglected by parent's
Or
'Child eventually learns what they did was wrong and decide to respect parent as long as their parent respects them

I like the article by Dr. Darcia Narvaez. In reading some of these posts, I must say that I understand why some parents would think that parenting without punishment would not work well. I very much like reading what Dr. Narvaez has written, however, because I have spent over fifty years watching, thinking, reading, and writing a little bit about parenting and definitely agree that there is a better way for a parent to help teach the child, to help the child be the best he or she can be. In my new, very short, book called PARENTING WITHOUT PUNISHMENT, I state 3 points for parents that really make sense. All 3 taken together, all 3 accepted, makes parenting without punishment plausible. Please, any parent who thinks that punishment is necessary in the parent-child relationship read this little tiny book and then tell me what you think. These 3 points make parenting clear, really actually truly easy, and wonderful for both parent and child.

That is all such absolute bullshit !! Most of us grew up having had our butts swatted more than once and we are alive and well. And more than that we actually have scruples and care about others, unlike these youngsters growing uo today that are rude mouthy little brats !!!!!

Yes, your anecdotal evidence is proof that spanking is effective. People that grew up getting a belt or spanked don't have any issues whatsoever, like depression, substance abuse, lack of self esteem.... Spanking is the panacea of sorts then, I suppose.

Everyone that got spanked grew up to be a model citizen and surely no one over the age of 40 sitting in prison was ever spanked in order to correct their behavior. If they had been spanked as a child they would have known better not to break the law.

The science here is almost non-existent, so unfortunately we're all left to anecdotal storytelling, stating our own experiences and how they played out.

In my own personal opinion, the major issue with spanking, and something that I've never seen teased out in any attempt to study it, is that many parents spank because they're doing it in anger. Often times when you're identifying parents who spank their kids, you're often just identifying the most angry parents in a sample. But it doesn't have to be that way, and I know you dislike anecdotes, but I'm going to offer my own anyway. My father spanked my siblings and I. I have exactly zero memories of him ever doing it because he was mad at us; all the instances were a lesson that you did something that wasn't appropriate and has consequences. Now, my father and mother made us go to our rooms and stand with our nose in the corner a lot more often than they spanked us, but it was a tool they could leverage if we didn't respond to the other forms of correcting behavior.

I think if any of these studies were done in their same form, but instead of spanking they studied yelling at kids -- completely lacking a physical element -- it's likely that you'd see even more aggression, lack of corrected behavior, etc. So it's really the parent aggression that needs to be taken out of the equation, not spanking little Tommy's butt for lying, stealing, or doing harm to somebody smaller than them. Further, spanking under those circumstances can teach that physical force is truly a last resort.

My family has always spanked, and I spank my children. I didn't lose trust in my parents for being spanked and I don't act with aggression first. I have absolutely given my children a swat on the bottom in public.

There are times when discussion doesn't work and the natural consequences of their actions are not only dangerous but dire. Of course spanking by itself doesn't work, it is a tool to be used in tandem with good explanations. "I spanked you because you ran out into traffic."

My husband's family doesn't spank, and their (now grown) childrenhave no regard for safety, other people...etc. They act spoiled, entitled and are genuinely selfish.

I would be in jail today, if I hadn't been spanked as a child. I truly believe there were times that swat was the only way I learned my lesson... And my children and I lived for over a year with my in-laws where spanking wasn't allowed, and I read and applied books on parenting without spanking ,as well as tips from local child psychologists (who first had me answer a questionnaire to make sure they didn't think I am abusive...) My children were so disobedient and did so many dangerous things... That was the worst period of our relationship and my emotional well-being. We moved out, they ran to go play when I said no in a dangerous neighborhood by themselves, I caught them and gave them a SWAT on the bottom and they haven't done it since.

Spanking can be harmful if it is done in anger, it can be harmful if the child is too young or too young to understand the reasoning, but it doesn't destroy trust or self-esteem and one styleof parenting isn't right for all families. I don't abuse my children and yes I spank them if the situation warrants it. Please keep your propaganda out of public information sites. We've seen the social results of a spanking-free society, they're flooding our jails. Thanks so much. :)

Blah blah blah. You still, with regularity, hit a small human. There is no excuse, no matter how much you want there to be. If you were raising your kids better in the first place, they would respect and listen to you and you wouldn't have to resort to spanking. I bet you put the TV on when they were 3 months old and give them sweets regularly. It's no wonder they're rambunctious. There are a LOT more parts to the puzzle than just spanking. Proper parenting leads to no need to spank. It just doesn't come up ... if you're parenting right from the start.

For every story of "I'd be in jail if I hadn't been spanked" there's 5 stories of "I turned into a horrible person because I WAS spanked". The kind of parent who spanks is the kind of parent who doesn't respect their child, yells at them, uses intimidation and fear to get what they need, and then wonders why their kid is crazy and doesn't listen to them. It's obvious if you actually think about it.

For every one of your "friends" (who knows if they even exist) who is permissive and has unruly kids, there are THOUSANDS of parents who understand that you can not spank AND not be permissive, and teach your kids with love and respect, and have great kids.

Anecdotes never trump research. The research is clear. You can say "BUT I RAN OUT IN TRAFFIC WITH MY EYES CLOSED 5 TIMES AND NEVER GOT HIT BY A CAR!" all you want. That doesn't mean it's statistically intelligent.

We have not seen the results of a spanking-free society. As is obvious from your comments, we are far from a spanking free society, as you spank. We have seen the results of a society where parents don't respect their kids, so the kids grow to not respect anyone in positions of authority. Treat them as small humans, not objects to control, and they might just grow up to have self control and respect for those around them.

How about you keep your tired propaganda and faulty justification for hitting children out of public information sites' comments sections? This is PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, a publication based in SCIENCE and RESEARCH not ANECDOTES and WISHES.

You ramble a lot about evidence, Richard, but you're pretty selective yourself. This article, supposedly based on research, ignores foreign societies that spank routinely and don't realize an increase in child aggression. Take South Korea: children are routinely spanked in that country, and it's one of the least violent, most law-abiding places on earth. How is this possible? How are millions of Korean children spanked without becoming mentally ill criminals? They don't become criminals because spanking is not harmful in the long term at all.

The anti-spankers harp about the "harm" that it does to children. All I can say to that is, Really? That's what you believe? You believe that children are so weak and fragile that they can't recover from a spank on the bottom?

Anti-spankers believe that children are much mroe fragile than they are, and far from this proving their enlightened attitudes to parenting, it proves the contempt they carry for children.

And Sweden outlawed spanking in 1984 with the other Scandanavian Countries quickly following suit & you know what happened Anon? Their rates of juvenile crime, especially VIOLENT juvenile crime has plummeted. So much so that it's virtually non-existent.

Is it OK if I hit YOU because YOU do something I deem unacceptable? Of course not. It's called assault. If it's an assault on a (non consenting) adult it's certainly an assault on a CHILD.

I was spanked as a child and my children were and we are both very well adjusted to adult society. I didn't do this often and tried to avoid this, but sometime a spank on the butt, get's an unruly child's attention. It is liberal nonsense that spanking damages kids. Our society is sick, because we have laid aside morals and norms and accountability. Spanking is out of public education in most places...and our schools are full of bullying because their is few consequences for their actions. Many students want to be suspended so they can go home and play video games and goof off.

You stated, "I was spanked as a child and my children were and we are both very well adjusted to adult society." Well, my parents didn't spank and I and my brother turned out just fine, too. That sort of evidence doesn't prove anything either way. It's anecdotal. It's using specific incidents to prove a general thesis.

As far as corporal punishment no longer being allowed in schools, it is only your supposition that it has led to bullying and unruliness. There are so many other factors that you don't seem or want to take into account.

Labeling something "liberal nonsense" is merely a way to dismiss evidence you don't want to hear about.

South Korea may have the smallest percentages of crime, but did you know they also have the highest suicide rate among the 30 OECD countries, with the toll of suicide deaths doubling in the last decade. Suicide is the most common cause of death for those under 40 in South Korea.

And guess what was the top two reasons why suicide was committed in South Korea? psychological despair 28.8% (8,489 cases), and physical pain 22.6% (6,672)

Yeah, Spanking may protect people from crime, but it doesn't protect them from their emotions.

So think about it next time you want to spank your kid.
Don't say anything if your kid suicides and you spanked him as a kid. You would be convinced then...

While I believe that spanking does not work with some children, after all we are all different. Spanking damages mental health as the article said and leads to suicide as your comment said. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard and it truly upsets me. My sister was never spanked as a child it didn't work. On the other hand my parents were very firm with me and spanked me often. My sister committed suicide at 19 years old. If you think that spanking is the issue what about the hundreds of kids at school that are complete idiots because there was not consistent discipline of any kind taught by discipline that works for each child.

Lance, So very sorry to hear about your sister's death. How terrible the family must feel. My heart goes out to you.

Troubled adolescence can go back to babyhood trauma: at birth, being left alone to cry and other scary experiences. So a lack of spanking is not the only thing that can matter for mental health. It's hard to look at these things but I encourage you to read these other posts.

spanking does not damages your kids it show them what they done wrong and to respect their elders both my daughters got a quite a bit of spanking now they are the greatest daughters any mother or father ever had one is 30years old and the is 25 years old and they had never been in any kind of trouble with law or any thing at all they grow up being the nicest and kind person . spanking does not kill any child unless they was beat bad but that is something i never did to my girls they was not beat at all but they had been spank .

who are you to tell anyone that if there child commits suicide , it's cause this person believes a swat isn't wrong , watch were y throw stones cause Karma may come and bite you in the behind and i wouldn't wish this on anyone but the good lord has a way of letting you know your not Almighty either .

First of all I'd like to know where you got those stats, because i highly doubt physical pain is listed as a top two reason for suicide. Secondly, within familial reasons given for suicide, maternal death is ranked at the highest (according to Wikipedia) with no mention anywhere i can find of spanking being a contributing factor.You're attempting to draw correlation where there is none.

This article has only used a very limited number of studies done in the US, in a laboratory setting no less, not even a natural one. Obviously behaviours are different at home. Also, they haven't given any reason as to why spanking would lessen parental trust moreso than timeouts or grounding. What recourse does a parent have if their child is smart enough to realize they can just disobey the timeout or grounding without consequence since their parent won't hit them?

South Korean kids are killing theselves due to social pressures in academic excelency, bullying and for strict societal structures that defines your competency based on arbitrary and superficial notions of success, not because of spanking.

Life is very depressing if your measurement of LIFE success is based solely on getting in to an Ivy League school.
Over there it quite binary, either you made it or you are a failure in life... and also, if you failed once, you are also a failure in life. Those are the tremendous societal pressures that KIDS must endure and to attempt to achieve those extremely high requirements they are 18 hours a day studying every single day, from school, to afterschool institutes, to private tutors, to libraries, language institutes, every freaking single day of the week, it is a Korean saying that kids wake up when the sky is dark and return to their homes when the sky is dark again.
And remembee every single kid knows there is a Damocles sword balancing over their heads, and a single mistake in school signifies a failure in life forever -according to Korean standards.

Linking spanking to Korean suicides is ludicrous.
So before pulling stats out of your ass, learn about the contextualize your data properly, don't jump into conclusions and don't cherry pick

EVEN SMALL CHILDREN LEFT UNDISCIPLINED BECOME MONSTERS IVE SEEN IT OVER AN OVER TIME OUTS DONT WORK TAKEING THINGS AWAY NOPE TALING TO THEM A WASTE OF TIME COUNSELING NEVER WORKS THEY NEED STRUCTURE ASSAULT MY ASS WHO PROTECTS PARENTS FROM ABUSEIVE CHILDREN IVE SEEN THEM THIER OUT THIER LARGE AN SMALL REALITY SPANKING IS NO CRIME OR ASSAULT EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS IT WILL NOT KILL A CHILD TO BE SPANKED SO HUH

You obviously don't know how to "use your words" so you result to fist and hand instead.

And that is the problem. Spankings turning into beatings without much explanation. Kids don't really understand like you claim nor how we like to think. They internalize lots. They can't explain how they feel about being spanked and many insensitive and irresponsible adults will simply laugh them off (often literally) because at that point they see them like a callous warden sees a prisoner: deserving every bit. That itself can fuck up a child.

A lot of you people screaming about the monster children you have seen or have..seriously I can't help but think you guys are Doctor Frankenstein. You're all obviously extremely gung-ho about putting your hands on a child. Let us be honest and say it's from frustration and not (seeming to) knowing what to do.

I tell you, it isn't not disciplining your kids. Its not beating them. Its not treating them like a jaded cop treats a criminal. Its treating them like a person who will grow up to either be happy or mostly content or extremely fucked up and hating themselves and the world.

Think about the sort of adult you want your kid to become. And I don't mean their job. But how happy and non-serial-killer-y they will be. Seriously, folks.

I am a child I live in a country area and I get spanked it does not at all make me or any one I know want to die or kill our selves kids who commit suicide often have a problem who don't understand because as humans we don't know every thing and some times kids do not say any thing to there parents so spanking does not hurt us and I am the one who asked what book in the bible was being quoted because who ever quoted it did not say were they were quoting it from only the verse not the book or any thing

You are dead wrong about one thing. The crime rate for minors has gone up, but it is prosecuted less. The crimes are let go, because there is no network to punish the offenders. There are no consequences for their actions. A kid who is told no will eventually react physically when they do not understand why they are told no. It is an instinctive reaction, and nothing can be done to stop it from happening. However, once it does a swat to the bottom, or to the offending hand tells a child that is not acceptable. I see hundreds of kids not being disciplined and causing fights, arguing with their parents, and people who preach this say, "Why don't you control your kid?" I have to ask, HOW? You take away all forms of correction and punishment and there are no more consequences. This is a society that allows a kid to sue their parents because the kid blew their college fund in one semester partying and said " You did not save enough for my college." My kids all got a spanking until they could understand grounding and discipline. We had three rules, never spank them when we were mad, do not berate them for misbehaving, and once it was over the matter was resolved if it was not repeated. Now I have an engineer, a firefighter, a sound engineer, and two honor roll students. I think there is a line, and that line to mental abuse is crossed by the same people who write articles like this when they run out of patience.

I always hear the trope about running out towards the highway as an excuse to spank, but if a child is too young to understand the consequences of getting hit by a car, what's going to make them correlate that action to pain?

As for propagandizing, just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make it claptrap.

The results of a MOSTLY spank free society are clear. I am a teacher and know first hand the disrespect that kids have today toward authority and using only other methods of corrective behavior have little effect. There is a right and wrong way to administer spankings as punishment. It is just one parenting method to correct behavior that should not be overused, but used when the situation warrants. Spanking your child doesn't mean you don't respect them.

'Research' from biased opinions doesn't automatically trump what works for some kids, as all are different. I'd be interested to hear from your 'friends' who turned out horrible because they were spanked. Maybe they were just abused, did you think of that? Nah, better to just blindly assume it was a spanking every once in awhile that turned them into monsters, right?

One of the biggest problems in society today is that we have this skewed view that we can protect our kids from everything, that everyone should win and no one should ever lose, and that kids will be fine experimenting with everything, that there are no consequences. Pregnant teen? Abort the child. Lazy? Get on welfare. Bad grades? Blame the school.