Round two of being a mom: Lee-Ann Pereira shares her experience of raising grandchildren

Sunday

Jul 16, 2017 at 12:01 AMJul 16, 2017 at 8:28 AM

Jonathan SigalSpecial to The Taunton Daily Gazette

TAUNTON - As the leader of Triumph Inc.’s monthly “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren” group, Lee-Ann Pereira’s primary role is helping Taunton-area grandparents do just that: bring up their grandkids.

But, as someone who holds legal guardianship of her own daughter’s three kids – a 4-year-old boy, 7-year-old girl and 9-year-old boy – she brings a unique perspective.

“Even though I facilitate it, I’m there learning too alongside everyone,” Pereira said. “With all the programs in the community, I’ve gained so much and grown into that group. That’s why I’m able to get so much out of it.”

Many who participate in Triumph Inc.’s free program come from backgrounds where opioid abuse has torn apart their families, and the case is no different with Pereira. Her grandkids’ parents were part of a physically abusive relationship, and that largely prompted her obtaining full legal guardianship on Sept. 1, 2013.

Since then, the mother has moved away and the father is in a Rhode Island prison, but Pereira said the transition from grandmother to guardian wasn’t easy at first.

“It was very much a kick to the stomach that first year,” Pereira said. “They had individual needs that I couldn’t really handle myself. Round two of being a mom, it was tough. In that first six months I was allowing my daughter and dad to come to the house and have visits, which didn’t always work out.”

That last part from Pereira is key, as Triumph Inc.’s “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren” group addresses many of the financial and legal issues that she wasn’t fully aware of a few years ago.

For one, she said, they try to explain how grandparents aren’t guaranteed lawyers by the commonwealth of Massachusetts in custody cases, and that grandparents can often dictate what visitation terms are. There’s also financial reprieve available through the Department of Transitional Assistance, plus a slew of support groups that offer emotional support.

“Even for me it was tough and I felt like I was guilty during the court process,” Pereira said. “I wanted my daughter to still be involved and her involvement was not appropriate. Through the group I became strong enough to know my rights.”