Tuesday Watch List: Greatest Movies EVER!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and invade Libya using your remote controlled helicopter. That baby can deliver a payload of four plastic missiles in just under ten seconds, provided you’re within ten feet of it with the remote. LET’S GO!

BEST IN FILM: THE GREATEST MOVIES OF OUR TIME – 9:00PM (ABC)Tom Bergeron and Cynthia McFadden host this two-hour celebration of the greatest movies of all time as chosen by… uh oh… Americans voting online? Oh man, that’s always death. There’s a reason we don’t let ourselves vote on the Oscars, you know. Then “Twilight: Eclipse” would win everything and we’d have to bomb ourselves. There are fifteen categories being presented this evening, and the big one (Greatest Movie of All Time) contains undeniable classics like “The Godfather,” “Casablanca,” “Gone With The Wind,” and “Raging Bull.” Good thing they didn’t offer us up “White Chicks” as an option, because its victory would shock and horrify you. ANTICIPATION: OSCARS WITHOUT ALL THE ANNOYING OSCARNESS!

MARCEL’S QUANTUM KITCHEN – 10:00PM (SyFy – an NBC/Universal network) Of all the former “Top Chef” contestants to receive their own show, the last one you’d expect to nab one would be Marcel Vigneron, the impossibly arrogant dude who looks like Wolverine’s little brother and has a way of angering virtually anyone he comes into contact with. But here we are. SyFy’s new show follows Marcel’s catering company as they try and pull of ambitious events featuring all kinds of wacky, sciency foodstuffs. ANTICIPATION: MARCEL!

TEEN MOM 2 – 10:00PM (MTV) My guide says, “Chelsea tries to study for her GED, but a new boy is a distraction.” Now tell me that isn’t just the perfect encapsulation of “Teen Mom.” “I gotta study for this GED so I can take care of my bab… OOOH LOOK! HOT GUY! I’M GONNA MAKE A BABY WITH HIM!” I love it. ANTICIPATION: POOR DECISION MAKING!

DESTINATION TRUTH – 9:00PM (SyFy – an NBC/Universal network) A haunted prison island is explored. And there are few three-word combinations I enjoy more than “haunted prison island.” It’s right up there with “monkey NASCAR race” and “bathtub nutella casserole.” ANTICIPATION: SHUTTER ISLAND!