I'm sorry Tofulish. I don't have any advice, but I can say that I've seen my mom deal with sort of crappy family situations, like her own sister calling her overweight and stuff. I don't understand it, other than it's some weird sibling rivalry that morphed into something nasty come adulthood.

Today was supposed to be my day off and I just got called into work. I could have said no, but I really want them to think I'm a good worker so I make it past the 90 day probationary period. I really could have used the day off though. I desperately need to recharge, do some laundry and set up a bank account. (If anyone wants to rob me coming home from work by the way, now's a good time. I'm walking around with my entire paycheck in my wallet. Although I'm usually carrying the box cutter from my job, so be armed!)

At work, the biggest tradeshow of the year is coming up in a month. (I am in marketing, and am doing some marketing stuff for the show). I have been waiting for the email with my hotel information and how to make my travel arrangements etc....But instead, I hear through a 'reply all' email that I was cc'd on about a dinner during the show, that I will not be attending. Hell, it was not even a direct email to me! it was "Chicki will not be attending" (sub real name) "but I have hired a new marketing person and they will be coming with me".

My partner always says I am paranoid. But I mean come on. What the hell else could that mean?My days are numbered here.

Oh my god, I am horrified. A few days ago, Gershwin snuck out into the hallway of our building when the door opened. Since then, he is obsessed with getting back out. He's held vigil at the door since then, bawling and scratching, trying to fit under the door, trying to peak under the door. He even snuck out again last night when I opened it. Well, today when I came home from work early, there was kibbles under the door. Different kibbles from what we feed that cats. I think someone gave it to Gershwin. People probably think he's some starving cat or something, or maybe he's annoying the neighbours with his incessant howling. He is such a spoiled cat, but he has lately been acting like we hold him hostage from living this amazing life out in the hall of the apartment building. Either people think we don't take care of our cats (which isn't true in the least), or they were fed the fork up with his crying and scratching so they tried to quiet him with food. I know I'm sick of it!

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

After thanksgiving my 2 very dear friends drove down to California, one of them was going to go stay with his family for a month, but my most specialist one was supposed to only be there for two weeks. About a week ago he tells me he's out of money and has no way of getting home yet. Well, today he told me he got a job in oakland. I should be happy since it will get him money so he can come home... but feeling super worried. Once you have a job, it's so easy to just stay put. I know he'll come back, but I think it might not be for quite a while. I'm having a hard time dealing with my loneliness, and these two boys are real important to me. It's super hard without them. They're the only people I had in Portland who liked to snuggle me. :(

I forgot that that today is the 8th anniversary of my Dad's passing, despite seeing my niece's posting of a yellow rose (his flower) on FB with a ton of likes from my family. And despite my Mum calling, and me asking if she was sure she was OK 'cos she sounded weird. It only clicked when she said my niece was visiting and I asked why and she said probably because of Dad.Made me realise how screwed up my priorities have become.

I went to get a manicure at lunch and the news was on. I just, I can't even. Those poor parents! I mean, I don't know how people get through that. And the poor children who were there, I mean, I just hope they have a lot of counseling resources available. This should not be something you have to explain to children (not that there's an explanation, which makes it worse.)

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

The school shooting is just devastating. I am trying not to think about it, but I spend 30 minutes crying in my car after hearing the news. I just can't even imagine the grief in the community from everyone who loved those kids and the adults. The adults at the school were apparently heroic, and got into the line of fire to save children. I can't even. I just can't even.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

I'm totally exhausted from this semester, and I still have two exams to go. One of my classes took a lot out of me, and I just hope that all the work I put in has paid off. I should get my grade by the end of next week.

_________________"I will rip out your IV and other roman numerals." - pandacookie"The one thing I would not do for Aubrey Plaza is harm a baby, by the way." - strawberryrock

One of the city mangers told the local news today that the public square needed to be "disinfected" after a homelessness protest. I am furious and disgusted. I am trying to calm down enough to articulate my thoughts... every time I start my letter (to her, the mayor and the paper) I start sputtering.

On the train home today I was sat beside a really racist crasshole who was spreading his poison all over the train. I wanted to speak up but there was something about him that made me feel incredibly unsafe so I didn't.

_________________"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD

I had some crazy asshat invoke the horrible slaughter of children that happened today as a threat for us to return his phone calls (background=I work for a group of criminal defense attorneys, a lot of clients are crazy, a lot of crazy folks get limited pro bono help/advice). I never felt personally threatened but it just sickened me that someone could turn something that horrific into a glib means to their own personal ends. I'm sorry, the slaughter of 20 innocents is not something to invoke when you merely want someone to return your phone call.

Walking out of the store to find myself between a mob of about 300 angry loyalists and the meatwagons pulling up to block their path. Then having to get back to my car and drive out of the city past clusters of meatwagons full of police, waiting for the rioters to start. Theeeeeen realising I forgot to take a photograph, dammit!