Valentine’s flicks for guys

OK, gentlemen. The worst of the manufactured holidays is coming up. And by “manufactured holiday” I mean one of those occasions that makes you look like a jerk or worse if you don’t do something for or with your significant other.

I’m speaking, of course, of Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day.

The date seems primarily manufactured to sell candy, flowers and sappy cards. Yet there’s no time off from work, no closing of the banks, no free parking at the meters. Doesn’t seem like much of a holiday, does it?

Since Valentines falls on a Tuesday this year, it’s a little harder to plan going out. It’s a school night, after all, and baby sitters are not as easy to come by. So here’s a list of “chick flick” DVDs that you can watch with that lady in your life that won’t make you throw a brick into your brand-new plasma TV you just bought to watch the Super Bowl. Most of them are comedies, true, but there are a few serious ones on the list.

1. Forget Paris: This is the hilarious story of an NBA referee (Billy Crystal) and his true love (Debra Winger) who meet in Paris when Crystal goes to bury his father. There’s plenty of love between the couple, and there’s plenty of NBA asides to satisfy your inner jock. Spurs greats David Robinson and Sean Elliott have cameos, along with Charles Barkley, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Reggie Miller, Muggsy Bogues and more.

2. She’s Having a Baby: Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern are a newlywed couple struggling to make sense out of their lives in the suburbs. Things get more complicated when they decide to have a child. The most adult film that teen-flick specialist John Hughes ever made, it also has some hilarious moments, especially for those looking to start a family.

3. The Princess Bride: It’s a love story, yes, but there’s lots of “fencing, fighting, and other stuff” in it. Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn are lovers who get separated when Elwes goes out to seek his fortune before marriage and is supposedly killed by pirates. Penn is selected by the scheming Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) to become his bride, which does present some complications. Good for the kids, too.

4. Roxanne: Steve Martin is a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac, complete with oversized nose, who falls for a lovely astronomer (Daryl Hannah) who has already fallen in love with one of Martin’s firemen (Rick Rossovich). The scene where Martin has to come up with 20 “something better” insults about his big nose will have you searching for the “replay” button.

5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Nia Vardalos is an old maid in a big Greek family where the object for girls is to “get married to a good Greek boy and have babies.” When she falls for a non-Greek schoolteacher (John Corbett) the family has some strenuous objections. The main reason I recommend this movie is that it avoids the “Big Lie” that becomes the “Big Trap” cliche by having its characters be honest with each other.

6. Titanic: OK, it’s sappy as hell for the first half. But when the ship hits the iceberg, it turns into a disaster movie. So just hang on for an hour and a half, and hit the stop button before the credits roll so you don’t have to listen to Celine Dion.