Tonight wasn't a good night for Vincent K. McMahon in Toronto's
SkyDome. The WWF president's elaborate scheme to wrest the gold from
working class champion "Stone Cold" Steve Austin failed on all
fronts.

His hand-picked challenger DX's Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (mid-carder
Jean-Paul Levesque in another life) was outsmarted by the WWF
rattlesnake. McMahon-assigned bell ringer, Dude Love (see SLAM!
Wrestling's interview next week) received a severe beating at the hands
of Stone Cold and split for Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico. Chyna,
DX's answer to Xena, did more harm than good.

And as special guest referee outside the ring, McMahon himself got
beaned in the head with a drink thrown with Roger Clemens accuracy by an
irate fan before falling victim to the Stone Cold Stunner once
again.

Some days it doesn't pay to leave Titan Towers.

At the beginning of the evening, McMahon was beaming with confidence as
he addressed the crowd in attendance. Ignoring a booming chorus of boos
and chants of Austin! Austin!, McMahon thanked them for their "years of
support".

"It's been over thirty years since the Toronto Maple Leafs won the
Stanley Cup but what if fans in SkyDome saw the WWF championship change
hands? Now that would be something to talk about," said McMahon. He
reassured the audience that he would be an "unbiased official" and that
if Austin got beat it would be because "Stone Cold screwed Stone Cold"
making reference to the now infamous Survivor Series match where former
WWF champ Bret Hart refused to drop the title to Shawn Michaels and then
was stripped of the title by McMahon.

McMahon also announced another stipulation to the title match. If Stone
Cold were to assault him, the belt would be automatically awarded to
Triple H. Several ringside fans flipped McMahon "the finger" as he
headed backstage.

The WWF prez showed his true colors during the main events' ring
introductions dancing and hugging Dude Love. McMahon also strutted his
stuff as Triple H stepped through the ropes. What Vince did with the
money his parents gave him for dance lessons is still being investigated
by Mulder and Scully.

An atomic bomb pop louder than anything Hulk Hogan ever received in
Toronto exploded as Austin cleared the ring of his adversaries. Though
Vince demanded it, Stone Cold refused to hand the belt over to him and
instead placed it in the hands of a ring attendant. The belt found its
way to Dude Love who proudly raised it in the air. McMahon held the
ringside bell up for Dude Love to clang.

Helmsley and Austin backed each in a corner reversing each other's
lock-up. Stone Cold won out haymakering the DX leader then gave him a
two-finger salute. McMahon shouting instructions, Helmsley smacked
Austin with a right knocking him to the canvass. Helmsley stood over the
champ and machine-gunned a series of DX crotch chops.

Both men flew off the ropes. Austin tackled Helmsley pounding on him.
Helmsley stepped outside for a breather. Austin gave chase ramming
Helmsley and Dude Love into the steel ring fence. The Dudester
high-tailed it to the showers..

Waiting inside the squared circle, Helmsley caught Austin on the way in
then slipped out of a Stunner attempt. Austin followed Helmsley to the
floor fencing him a second time. Recovering from a crotch drop on the
same fence, Triple H wrapped Stone Cold's leg around the steel post
three times. Chyna sucker-punched Austin. McMahon pretended to look
away. Helmsley then catapulted Austin into the steel ringsteps. The WWF
prez gave Hunter the "thumbs up" sign.

Returning to the ring, Triple H pretzeled into a figure four using the
ropes as leverage. The ref was going to break the hold but McMahon
instructed him not to. As Austin reversed the maneuver, Chyna began
choking him through the ropes. Austin slung Helmsley into the corner and
the referee. The ref out, Chyna punched the champ in the "lower
abdomen".

Capitalizing on the moment, McMahon leapt in to smach a two count.
McMahon and Triple X argued over the speed of the count. An angry
McMahon hauled off and slapped Helmsley in the face. Austin snuck up
from behind ramming their heads together. Triple H held Austin wide-open
for Chyna. In a series of fluid moves, Austin mule kicked Helmsley in
the crotch, kicked Chyna in the stomach and Stunned Triple H. The
semi-conscious ref laid down the 1-2-3. Austin also Stunned Chyna as
well.

McMahon verbally and physically assaulted the referee for doing his job.
A soft drink thrown from the stands clocked the WWF president in the
noggin'. Fans littered the ring. Austin crept up on McMahon and executed
the Stunner on the WWF president.

The next WWF house show at SkyDome is on August 1st, 1998. Tickets are
on sale now.

WWF Trust No One - Toronto SkyDome Results

: Christopher taunts Taka with racial gestures.
: Christopher yells to a Taka fan..This one is for you!..as he
rearranges the champ's spine with a backbreaker.
: Taka completes a roll-up for the victory.

: The Head Bangers are carrying Super Soaker water guns (sponsors of the
card) spraying the referee, the time keeper, ringside valets, the crowd
and Jacques Rougeau.
: The Head Bangers thwart The Quebecers finishing move crotching
Ouellete on the top rope.

Winners: The Head Bangers at 7 minutes and 5 seconds.

Match Rating: 5 / 10.

Kurrgan Vs D-Lo Brown

: Oh yeah. REAL fair match. Can you say David versus freaking
Goliath?
: The Jackyll berates the Toronto sports teams and says he will "Jackyll
off" all over the dome. He pushes the debut of his collection of human
oddities (read John Tenta dressed as Goldust) on this Monday's Raw Is
War.
: D-Lo bobs and weaves but when the MIGHTY Kurrgan catches up, it's game
over. D-Lo tries for a dive off the second rope. Kurrgan catches D-Lo in
the claw hold.

Winner: Kurrgan at 4 minutes and 39 seconds.

Match Rating: 1 / 10.

Bradshaw Vs Marc Mero

: Mero orders Sable out of the ring. "Since you belong to me, I want you
to get out," demands Mero. Sable takes her spot in Mero's corner. Mero
responds "No. No. Get out of this building. Get out of Canada".
: Sable distracts the ref. Mero "low blows" Bradshaw. Mero has the cover
but the ref is still arguing with Sable. Bradshaw lariats Mero and gets
the win.
: Mero dares Sable to enter the ring. When she does he runs for the
hills.
: Didn't we see this match already?.

: Rocky lies to the audience and says he is pleased to announce that
they've set a new wrestling attendance record in Canada. Then he quickly
adds, "This is the largest gathering of trailer park trash I've ever
seen." Woo! Rocky's da man!
: Faarooq Pearl Harbors Rocky from out of nowhere. Rocky is slow to get
up from a Sidewalk Slam. In a bizarre twist, Faarooq runs to the
dressing room and is counted out.
: Rocky wins but limps away indicating he could be seriously hurt.

: Mick Foley does an in-ring interview. And says...
: It's not enough any more for him to be a hardcore legend or the
toughest S.O.B. in the WWF.
: There isn't a finer, nobler ass in the world to kiss than Vince
McMahon's.
: A kid in the front row flips Foley "the finger". Foley asks..."Where
did you learn such a hand gesture, son?". The little thug answers over
the house mic..."From idiots like you." Bah. Ha.

Kane Vs The Undertaker

: The Undertaker Tombstones Kane. Paul Bearer climbs in the ring. Kane
is DQ'd. Taker chokes Bearer against the ropes. Kane makes the save and
is clotheslined out of the ring.

Winner: Via DQ...The Undertaker at 7 minutes and 26 seconds.

Match Rating: 3 / 10.

Jeff Jarrett Vs Steve Blackman

: Lethal Weapon Blackman. Lethal to whom? Himself?
: Blackman attempts to suplex Jarrett from the second rope. Jarrett
reverses in mid-air landing atop Blackman for the three count.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett at 6 minutes and 10 seconds
.

Match Rating: 1 / 10.

Owen Hart Vs Vader

: The Nation attacks shortly after the bout starts. Owen high-tails it
to safety.
: The New Age Outlaws (Why? I say why?) save Vader wielding steel
chairs.

Winner: Vader at 1 minute and 5 seconds
.

Match Rating: 0 / 10.

The New Age Outlaws (champions) Vs D.O.A. (challengers) (WWF Tag
Team Title Match)

: Road Dog creams Skull with the belt to allow Billy to gain the
win.

Winners: ...and still WWF Tag Team Champions...The New Age Outlaws at
6 minutes and 52 seconds
.