Being a Nigerian and professional burnout

January 27, 2013 by Gloria Ogunbadejo (gogunbadejo@yahoo.co.uk)

Gloria Ogunbadejo | credits: File copy

As you read this piece today, I would have left the sunny shores of this mystical, exquisite, twisted and shocking country called Nigeria. I continue to understand more and more with every visit I make why people love and hate in equal measure. Many who live here say they find it an impossible place to live, but they also say in the same breath that they can’t live anywhere else. For many years, if I am to be honest, mine was the former statement! Maybe as I get older, I am now looking at where I want to lay my head when my time has come and who I would like to be around. Even the jury might still be out on that, I am beginning to see and feel a shift in my thoughts on the matter.

What makes Nigeria exquisite, mystical, twisted and shocking in my opinion is almost entirely the people. You have a good chance of having all these experiences with just one encounter with a Nigerian. I am not sure you can say the same about many other nationals. Extremes are the best way to categorise the Nigerian. Friendships are extreme, hatreds are extreme, loves are extreme, socializing is extreme, politics are extreme and so on.

Aside from loving my career path and being very passionate about the work I do which keeps me interested and fulfilled, I also work very hard at looking after myself both psychologically and physically, and have learnt how to identify those warning signs unique to me that tell me when I need to pay more attention to my mental health, thereby helping me to avoid professional burnout. I haven’t always got it right and have come perilously close to finding it difficult to cope with the particular strain of my work alongside everything else going on in my life. These moments were particularly useful in drawing attention to my limitations and fallibility. The nature of my line of work as with most caring professions, is that it can sometimes fool you into thinking you are omnipotent if you don’t keep your ego under check.

Burn out is the gradual process by which a person detaches from work and potentially other meaningful relationships, as a direct response to prolonged stress, physical, mental, emotional strain. What follows this includes: lowered productivity, a certain level of diminished return setting in regarding the work, feeling overwhelmed, confused and cynical about your work or life. It is a state of complete emotional and physical exhaustion caused by chronic anxiety and unrelenting stress.

I remember when I had what I consider my first brush with burnout. I was working at an organisation in the UK called The Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture; The name alone doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I was there for five years and drew huge personal and professional gratification from the work. I felt I was bringing significant, positive changes to my client’s lives. I also had the opportunity to educate the host country and health providers, through conferences and workshops about the unique needs of my client group. So I was proud of what I was doing. Notwithstanding, towards the later part of my time there, I gradually started to experience what in my trade is described as secondary or vicarious trauma. In other words, I was over identifying with my client’s experiences and my own filters were ineffective so I was beginning to feel less empathy and experience direct pain. I found myself struggling not to break down in tears while listening to my clients tell their stories.

The reasons for my inability to maintain my professional boundaries at this time were two fold. I clearly was feeling overwhelmed personally and uncontained professionally. However, more importantly was the onset of the British government’s relentless racist immigration laws which were impacting negatively on their lives. Almost all the psychological healing that we had accomplished with our clients was being eroded by every new legislation that came out, and there were many. The clients were left frightened without housing, and other essential welfare needs. I constantly felt very angry and frustrated on their behalf.

I soon started dreading going to work as I felt I had betrayed my clients’ trust in me and for the most part, I had knowledge about what fate would befall them but I was not allowed to tell them, however I was still required to encourage them and give them hope. I was left feeling fraudulent. I stayed awake unable to sleep at night worrying about them, I no longer felt exhilarated with my work and actually felt sick going in to work. In the end, I had to make the painful decision to take stock and move on.

The feelings of burn out are emotional, about not having motivation for what you are doing anymore. It’s about apathy, feeling hopeless and empty. This should not be confused with stress which could also lead to burn out, but is much more about physical symptoms. Having stress on the job might be as a result of having too much to do, or being hounded by a boss, being over-involved in the work place. Career burnout on the other hand is about giving up, not caring anymore, a lack of desire, drive, motivation and feeling trapped. Work becomes meaningless and empty.

The causes for burnout are several and varied, only you can figure out what applies to you as an individual and your particular work situation and personal life. Some of the more common causes are: Feeling stuck in a job or career, being consumed by your job and taking it home with you, having to be everything to everyone in the work place and at home, being micro managed by your boss, having to work under duress with oppressive co workers or management and having to continue in work that is no longer challenging, repetitive and boring.