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Monday, March 26, 2012

Rediscovering Bread

Last year was not a good year. What with Grandad passing away - yes, yes, he was 95, but just because you see the punch coming doesn't mean it hurts any less (as a very wise friend of mine often says), and Miss 6's Aspergers diagnosis, it was a hugely emotionally draining time.

I knew that I was slipping into survival mode, weight was going on, the garden was going to rack and ruin, and I didn't care. I had neither the time nor the energy to care. I didn't set foot outside from one week to the next, I stopped cooking and slowly the things that I hold very dear began to slip away.

As I've blogged before, I had my turning-40 check up and found that I had high blood pressure, no iron and no Vitamin B12. Thanks to our stabby local nurse I'm up to the last of my B12 injections, eating iron pills religiously and yanno, chilling out, these things are fixing themselves. In addition to this we're getting more and more help with Miss 6, and I feel like I've got somewhere to turn when the shit utterly hits the fan.

Writing is going well, I've got submissions going out hither and thither, and I'm in a better place to see and appreciate the positives.

So I've come down with the flu (of course), and on Saturday I dragged my poor aching body to bed and happened to watch River Cottage Everyday, the episode on baking bread.

Baking bread was something used to do every day, but it became lost in last year's maelstrom. I love baking bread. I love yeast and brewing things and all the alchemy that goes into it. I watched that ep of River Cottage, then watched it again. And my passion for bread was re-kindled.

Yesterday morning I was up early and making Irish Soda bread for breakfast - I'd never heard of it before, but am a total convert. Bread made in around 40minutes - who knew!! It was utterly delicious.

I know its only bread, but I feel like I've got a bit of myself back, after it was lost last year. Of course, I do still have the flu and spending the morning baking when I should've been resting was probably not the smartest, but I just had to bake. And I'm glad I did, even though I'm feeling pretty drained today. Its a sign I'm not in crisis mode anymore, and that things are coming together.

I am totally obsessed with River Cottage. I bought their bread book even. I have only attempted one loaf, but I think with this cold weather coming, I will be attempting even more. So glad to hear you are getting back to 'you' again.