Failed Comedian Calls It A Day

The world of show business and international politics today united in tribute to Liverpool funnyman Micky MacWack, who today retired after handing over the microphone to Skivingdale Working Men's Club Concert Secretery Freddy MacWack for the final time, after fifty resoundingly unsuccessful years in the business.

A tearful Micky MacWack told a Spoof team that he had been sadly misguided by sycophantic media reporting of an innate Scouse sense of humour in the 1960's.

Micky said that at the time he thought that if the media actually swallowed the idea that Cilla Black could sing, that Liverpool was more romantic than Paris, that Jimmy Tarbuck was original and witty, then surely super-stardom on a Beatles level beckoned.

Sadly, twas not to be.

Nightly Micky donned the dress suit and ventured out on stage to entertain audiences with lines such as:

"Take the wife - I wish some fucker would."

Sadly these lines were never to be Micky's portal to untold riches. The comedian failed to adapt to changing times and attitudes, and went down on most occasions like a particularly pungent fart in an enclosed space.

In 2006 Micky was largely ignored when he made derogatory racist remarks in his act.

"It's all right for Stan Boardman, and that Manc twat Manning to get all the gigs," McWack said in a 1992 interview with Melvyn Bragg. "But what about the likes o' me, the bread and butter o' British comedy?"

"He never played Vegas because he was crap, like most Liverpudlians," said Maria Von Crapp, star of The Sound Of Cruising and MacWack's agent. "His biggest earner was thirty two quid at Sefton Workies, and he got booed off then."

A tearful Micky MacWack told The Spoof:

"They've been lying to us all dem dere years. From tellin us dat we were the wittiest people on the planet, to tryin to convince us that our footy clubs have a future.