Kimberly Dalferes | Authorhttp://kimdalferes.com
Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, AuthorThu, 26 Feb 2015 23:33:27 +0000en-UShourly1Dollars to Doughnutshttp://kimdalferes.com/2988/kim-dalferes-blog/dollars-to-doughnuts
http://kimdalferes.com/2988/kim-dalferes-blog/dollars-to-doughnuts#commentsThu, 19 Feb 2015 14:48:15 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2988I have come to love February. Not because of Valentine’s Day and certainly not for the weather. My fondness for this second month of the year has evolved per my family’s involvement in charitable fundraising.

My admiration for February began several years ago with my son Jimmy’s participation in THON.

Each February–this year it’s February 20 thru 22–something magical happens at Penn State. Thousands of students stay awake and on their feet for 46 hours straight; all united in working toward the sole purpose of supporting the fight against pediatric cancer. The THON website notes that back in 1973 the first dance marathon raised $2,000. Over 40 years later, THON now encompasses over 15,000 student volunteers, 700 dancers, and has raised more than $114 million, benefiting The Four Diamonds Fund at Penn State Hershey Children’s Hospital.

Participant fundraising has inspired millions to contribute and donate not only money, but also time and sweat equity. We’ve long had our charity balls and telethons. However, the evolution of the participant fundraiser has expanded charitable giving far beyond the mere writing of a check.

It’s not only the younguns who are having all the fun – the 40+ crowd is happy to come down out of the middle-aged cheap seats and join in the efforts. Last year’s Ice Bucket Challenge is a good example of successful participant fundraising and it certainly included many boomers and would-be adults. Perhaps this is why charitable giving in the U.S. topped a staggering $335 billion in 2013–that’s billion with a “B” (see Charitable Giving 2013).

It was not a total surprise when the Hubs announced he and my brother-in-law (BIL) would be participating this year, on February 14th, in the Krispy Kreme Challenge.

According to the Krispy Kreme Challenge website, the event began as a dare between a few North Carolina State undergrads back in 2004. The throw down? Run the 2.5 miles from the iconic Memorial Bell Tower on campus to the local Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. Consume a dozen glazed doughnuts. Run the 2.5 miles back to the tower. Yep, sounds like college to me. Who could have imagined that a pretty dumb double-dog dare from over a decade ago would evolve into a charity fundraiser that now looks like this:

Thousand of runners, including the Hubs and BIL and friend Randy, queued up in Raleigh last Saturday morning to run in this benefit for the NC Children’s Hospital. The weather, though cold, was thankfully not the ugly snow and sleet of recent weeks. SIL Chris and I were there to lend our support–and to hold their hair back if they puked. Hubs has done some crazy things, and BIL has even run with the bulls, but THIS, this is one we’ll be talking about for years to come.

As I watched them approach the mid-point and grab their box of glazed confection, I wondered if their boyish enthusiasm would carry them through this test of gastronomic fortitude.

I’m happy to report that all three finished the doughnuts and the race without hurling–though BIL did look a bit green about the gills around doughnut #7. For those of you out there who are wondering: how hard could it be to eat a dozen Krispy Kremes? Well my friends, a lot more difficult than you can possibly imagine. I wasn’t even part of the doughnut eating masses, but I promise you it will be quite some time before I am once again excited to see the KK hot light on.

The boys are looking for their next challenge. I hate to encourage them, but if you have suggestions, please send them along.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for charity? Is there an event you’d like to recommend?

Cheers,

Kimba

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2988/kim-dalferes-blog/dollars-to-doughnuts/feed26Do They Really Throw Chicken Bones?http://kimdalferes.com/2944/kim-dalferes-blog/do-they-really-throw-chicken-bones
http://kimdalferes.com/2944/kim-dalferes-blog/do-they-really-throw-chicken-bones#commentsFri, 06 Feb 2015 10:55:57 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2944I’m a southern gal. Born and raised in the South. My mama’s family is from the South. My entire life to date has been lived in the South. However, I recently attended an event that despite my southern pedigree and upbringing had me feeling like a Yankee in King Earnhardt’s court. I experienced my first NASCAR race.

The National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing–NASCAR–is the governing body over one of the most profitable enterprises in the U.S. Since its beginnings back in 1947, NASCAR has grown into a behemoth of a sporting enterprise, broadcasting in over 150 countries and holding 17 of the top-20 attended single-day sporting events in the world (The History of NASCAR). Seventy-five million fans worldwide annually purchase over $3 billion worth of licensed products!

The Hubs is one of these 75 million who worship at the temple of Richard Petty. Hubs has implored me for years to shed my NASCAR virgin status and experience the rapture that is a NASCAR race. He upped the ante when he swore off attending another home & garden show until I accompanied him to just one race. What’s a gal to do–I can’t be expected to give up my house porn addiction.

Being that the 2015 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series begins next week, I thought I would share some of the valuable bits of wisdom I acquired from my expedition into the wilds of the NASCAR masses.

TEN TRUTHS ABOUT NASCAR

1. You’re going to need a hat. Everyone wears a hat. You can get away with a run-of-the-mill baseball cap, but why not go all out? Trust me, there will be plenty of vendors within a ten mile radius of the race track selling all kinds of merchandise. I purchased this bargain beauty for a mere 5 bucks!

2. It’s loud. Crazy loud. Check your style ego at the turnstile and wear the dorky headphones. For additional tips regarding what to bring with you, see NASCAR For Dummies Cheat Sheet

3. No one is on their cell phone. No checking Facebook or Twitter et al. I saw not a single electronic device out or in use during the entire race. Though tempted, I kept my I-phone fully holstered so as to not incur the wrath of the NASCAR purists.

4. They don’t really throw chicken bones. Apparently this is a myth created to make fun of the NASCAR virgins. No one threw as much as a small drumstick at me. I’ll admit I was a little disappointed. I’ve discovered there is some truth behind this myth:

At most NASCAR race tracks, the backstretch is called “Chickenbone Alley” because these are usually the cheap seats. The term is derived from fans throwing chicken bones down toward the track during the race.

5. Pick a driver. Compare a NASCAR race to a college football game. In football there are just two teams–you pick your side and cheer your heart out. Well, in NASCAR there are up to 43 drivers on the track. You have to pick someone to root for, otherwise it’s just a bunch of cars driving in circles and it gets really boring really fast.

6. It ain’t that easy. I had not expected racing to require so many tactical techniques. When to pit, re-fuel, get new tires, move to the top or the bottom of the track, etc. are all important strategic decisions.

7. Not a safe haven for feminists. I lost count of how many times I was called sweetie, honey, baby, sugar, darlin, etc. Go in with your eyes wide open here. The language is unapologetically salty. One big fella sitting behind us in the stands relished in telling the most sexist, dirtiest jokes I have ever heard. Truth be told some of them made me snort. He led a raucous one finger salute to Danica Patrick–currently one of the few female drivers–when she flamed out of the race.

8. Silver-lining moment. NASCAR may be the only sporting enterprise in the world where the lines for the men’s bathroom are longer than the queue for the women’s bathroom.

9. You can bring your own food… and booze! In the cooler next to the PB&Js, chips, and Oreos, you can legally ice down a six pack and bring it into the stadium. And they wonder why NASCAR fans are known for being hammered?

10. Don’t worry, they are making money. Trust me, surrounding the stadium you will find a sea of purchasing opportunities. Every driving team has a merchandise trailer and the concession stands do a brisk business. No one was crying over our lil ‘ol backpack of Bud Lights.

Anyone else out there have some fun NASCAR wisdom to share? Any NASCAR die-hards?

Cheers,

Kimba

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2944/kim-dalferes-blog/do-they-really-throw-chicken-bones/feed27Midlife Swagger: We All Deserve An Anthemhttp://kimdalferes.com/2921/kim-dalferes-blog/midlife-swagger-we-all-deserve-an-anthem
http://kimdalferes.com/2921/kim-dalferes-blog/midlife-swagger-we-all-deserve-an-anthem#commentsFri, 23 Jan 2015 12:33:41 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2921The State of the Union address happened this week. As I watched President Obama it occurred to me that part of the swagger, in addition to being one of the most powerful people in the world, is that he has a theme song. Interestingly, they didn’t play Hail to the Chief as he walked into the House chamber–guess they figured all eyes were already on him.

Hail to the Chief – A Brief History

There’s some fun history behind Hail to the Chief. First Lady Sarah Childress Polk is most often credited with encouraging the playing of Hail to the Chief whenever her husband, President James Polk, entered a room. “Polk was not an impressive figure, so some announcement was necessary to avoid the embarrassment of his entering a crowded room unnoticed. At large affairs the band…rolled the drums as they played the march…and a way was cleared for the President.” http://lcweb2.loc.gov/diglib/ihas/loc.natlib.ihas.200000009/default.html

God love a short man that needs to make an entrance (you know my affinity for the short man). Polk wasn’t even the shortest president: at 5 ft. 8 inches President Polk would have towered over our shortest president–James Madison who measured in at 5 ft. 4 inches tall.

This all got me to thinking: what would I want playing when I enter a room??

Everyone, especially those of us hanging out in the middle-aged cheap seats, deserves an anthem. For a little inspiration, I reached out to my gal pals with this query: what would you choose as your theme music?

Their answers were awesome–here are a few of my faves:

“You Dropped A Bomb on Me” by the Gap Band – been my theme song forever – long story, LOL.

“Best Day of My Life” by American Authors. It’s fun and catchy, and reflects my optimistic outlook on life. The band’s lead singer Zachary Barnett notes: “We wanted to tell this story of how no matter what’s going on–whether you’re stuck at your job or having a bad day–there’s always an escape from that, and there’s always a way to make any day the best day of your life.”

My grandkids and kids know my fave is “Old Time Rock And Roll” by Bob Seger. For years they’ve played it whenever we’re celebrating holidays or birthdays or gatherings. It’s Gramma’s theme sing they say. Going to play at my funeral too!

Wish I could list all the great anthems that were suggested. A solution: Jacqueline Wolven was inspired to create a playlist on Spotify with all the recommended theme songs – THX Jacqueline! http://spoti.fi/1KKcwei

As for moi, from this day forward please ensure that the following is playing each time I enter a room, office, bar, store, coffee shop, boardroom, outhouse, etc. Thank you for your support.

How about you: what’s your anthem?

Cheers,

Kimba

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2921/kim-dalferes-blog/midlife-swagger-we-all-deserve-an-anthem/feed48The Year of the Challenge Envelopehttp://kimdalferes.com/2885/kim-dalferes-blog/the-year-of-the-challenge-envelope
http://kimdalferes.com/2885/kim-dalferes-blog/the-year-of-the-challenge-envelope#commentsFri, 09 Jan 2015 13:39:30 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2885“Hon, what exactly do you do with your allowance?”

“Well, that’s my business.”

“Yeah, but, you work from home…”

“Hey, we made an agreement a long time ago that we each get the same amount of cash each week to blow as we see fit. No questions asked, remember?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Yeah, but, what?”

“You’re right, forget I mentioned it.” Kiss kiss.

Throughout 2014 this exchange between me and the Hubs reared its little head a few times. In each instance, I managed to dodge the conversation. And for good reason. I was up to something. I know, shocking.

I’m a thrifty person. As some of you know, I love DIY challenges and I’m not above digging through a neighbor’s trash to rescue furniture cast-offs. When I was young, my thriftiness was out of necessity. However, sitting here today in the middle-aged cheap seats I find that my propensity to save a buck is just part of who I am. Hello, my name is Kimba, and I’m frugal.

Back in the beginning of 2014 I wondered just how penny-wise I could be. I came across this savings plan called the 52 Week Money Challenge. The concept is fairly simple: each week you put a set amount of money in an envelope. For the first week in January, you contribute $1. In the second week, it’s $2. This goes on each week throughout the year until you reach week 52 at the end of December, when you contribute $52 and the total in the envelope is a whopping $1,378!

I’m happy to report that I successfully completed the challenge. Hoorah for moi! Here are a few lessons learned along the way:

Have a goal. Your motivation will be helped along if you have a goal for the money you are saving each week. Perhaps a down payment for a car, or a graduation trip for your daughter, or maybe new furniture for the living room. I decided I wouldn’t tell the Hubs about my little savings experiment. Instead, I used the challenge results as his Christmas present – with the caveat that we will use the money to take a little vacation break in the middle of winter 2015. Every time I put money in the envelope, I smiled and imagined the surprised look on Hubby’s face Christmas morning. Nailed it.

It’s tempting to borrow from the envelope – don’t. The yardman needs to be paid. You need money for pizza delivery. The Cub Scouts are back at the front door selling popcorn. Do not use money in the challenge envelope to supplement daily expenses. The envelope has to be held sacred. No dipping.

Don’t skip a week. Consistency is key. I made it a habit to put money in the envelope every Friday morning. Pick what works for you and stick with it.

It’s easy in the beginning. The first fifteen or so weeks are not particularly painful. Taking a few bucks out of my cash allowance and tucking them away in the envelope was effortless. However, those last two months were not as easy, especially during the holidays when spending is already at a critical mass. One suggestion is to do the challenge in reverse, so the easiest months are at the end. If anyone has tried the challenge in reverse, I’d love to hear how it turned out for you.

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2885/kim-dalferes-blog/the-year-of-the-challenge-envelope/feed42Dear St. Peter, About Those Christmas Lightshttp://kimdalferes.com/2858/kim-dalferes-blog/dear-st-peter-about-those-christmas-lights
http://kimdalferes.com/2858/kim-dalferes-blog/dear-st-peter-about-those-christmas-lights#commentsWed, 24 Dec 2014 11:26:19 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2858When my son Jimmy was young, circa second or third grade, he shared with me that he was pondering – as children often do – some of the secrets of the universe. I recall the conversation going something like this:

“Mom, I have an idea about how we get into heaven.”

“Why are you thinking about that?”

“Don’t know. So, when we’re born we get 100 sins.”

“OK…”

“We get to make 100 mistakes. Anymore, and we don’t get into heaven.”

“How did you come up with this?”

“Don’t know. Thing is, you don’t know when you’ve reached 100. So, when you sin, it better be worth it. Don’t want to waste one of your 100 on something stupid.”

Yep, kids sure do say the darnedest things.

I have no idea where I am on my 100 sins lifetime total. I fear that I may have blown my wad, going over the top because of a stupid childhood prank I committed every December with my cohort in crime, JoJo.

JoJo and I did a lot of naughty kid stuff, but I’m not sure all would rise to the level of sin. We kicked over dozens of trash cans, rang most of the neighborhood door bells, and made quite a few crank phone calls. Hoping that most of those will not keep me out of heaven. However, there was this one thing…

Do you remember the old fashioned outdoor Christmas lights we all used in the 70s? The bulbs were big and screwed into large sockets. They looked like this:

Each year our neighbor, Mr. Johnson, would install miles of strands of these lights throughout the shrubs and bushes of his south Florida yard. It was a painstaking process that produced a beautiful, glowing wonderland throughout his plush green landscape. JoJo and I would sit perched in his home across the street from Mr. Johnson’s house and watch the transformation. And we would wait. I am not proud of what comes next.

Under the cover of darkness, JoJo and I would creep over into Mr. Johnson’s yard and we would unscrew – but not remove – just one of the bulbs. This caused the entire string of lights to go dark. We would repeat this process several times, pushing our luck. It is a bit of a miracle we were never caught.

The next day we would hide in JoJo’s yard and watch Mr. Johnson methodically check each bulb on each string of lights, unscrewing and then re-screwing each one until he found the source of the outage.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that little prank qualifies as a sin. And it very well could be the one that has put me over my 100 limit. I fully expect to arrive at the pearly gates and be greeted by St. Peter, who, looking down at his clipboard and then back at me, smiles and says,

Sorry my dear, but that little holiday stunt of yours put you over the top. Looks like you’ll be heading to warmer climates.

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2853/kim-dalferes-press/author-wins-prestigious-golden-nib-award/feed0The 12 Broads of Christmashttp://kimdalferes.com/2797/kim-dalferes-blog/the-12-broads-of-christmas-3
http://kimdalferes.com/2797/kim-dalferes-blog/the-12-broads-of-christmas-3#commentsFri, 12 Dec 2014 13:29:03 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2797Jerry Lewis has it wrong. For years he’s been stumbling over the idea that women can – or can’t – be funny. OK, he’s 88 years old, so maybe we should cut him a little slack and not go straight to what an uber-schmuck. On the other hand, come on dude! It’s almost 2015, do we really need to have this discussion?

Today’s literary world offers an abundance of evidence that women have not only cracked the comedy glass ceiling, they have busted right through that bitch. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Lena Dunham, Chelsey Handler, and Sara Silverman are just a few of the many women who have penned hilarious best sellers and have sold millions (not a typo) of copies.

In the interest of sharing the love, supporting the sisterhood, and promoting laughter for all, I present to you Kimba’s 12 Broads of Christmas. All of these women have written heartfelt laugh-out-loud books, many of them published just this past year. Most of these gals also have wonderful blogs that are worth following and sharing.

Looking for some ideas for presents for the women in your life? Check out these books and maybe pick up something for yourself because you deserve to laugh too.

The 12 Broads of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas… yeah, I’m not going to do that. You’re welcome.

1. A personal favorite is Vikki Claflin’s new book Shake, Rattle & Roll With It: Living and Laughing with Parkinson’s. My father-in-law had Parkinson’s, so I’ve seen it up close and personal. I’m in awe of Vikki’s gift for portraying life with this disease in a way that makes you laugh, not cringe.

2.Leslie Marinelli is the editor of You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, and Other Things You’ll Only Hear from Your Friends In The Powder Room. This anthology of witty short stories from 39 funny-as-hell women writers definitely dispels any misconceptions about the abilities of women to make you laugh.

3. Gina Barreca has penned several books, my favorite being It’s Not That I’m Bitter Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World. You should also check out They Used to Call Me Snow White… But I Drifted: Women’s Strategic Use of Humor. Gina is the godmother of funny women writers.

4.This past year I discovered Elaine Ambrose and her wonderful Midlife Cabernet Life, Love & Laughter After Fifty. This is not Elaine’s first book; I plan to check out her other books in 2015.

5.Tracy Beckerman’s Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs is a fun read with chapter titles such as Sometimes Eating Like a Grown Up Means Giving Up the Cheez Doodles.

6.Crystal Ponti is a contributing author for Clash of the Couples:A Humorous Collection of Completely Absurd Lovers’ Squabbles and Relationship Spats. Crystal, Meredith, and Camille will have you smiling, laughing and uttering Oh, I SO get that.

7.Jen Mann’s national best seller People I Want to Punch In the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges, was just released this past September and it’s already garnered over 200 reviews – 144 five-star endorsements! It’s a laugh riot, I promise. 144 people can’t be wrong.

8.Marcia Kester Doyle’s Who Stole My Spandex?: Midlife Musings from a Middle-Aged MILF is a first for Marcia, though she has contributed to several anthologies. I see many funny books in her future.

9. The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter (edited by Kate Hall) has been out less than a month and it’s already generating exceptional buzz.

10. The “Bloggess” – aka Jenny Lawson – took the publishing world by storm in 2012 with her NYT bestseller Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Nearly 2500 reviews! She’s the gold standard for funny, smart writing.

11.Stacey Gustafson’s Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives covers the bases when it comes to all methods by which a gal can lose her mind. It’s a hilarious send-up of what women deal with on a daily basis.

12. To round out our dirty dozen (and to also make my publisher happy) I’ll add my book I Was In Love With a Short Man Once. It’s not that I’m in the same league as these women, I’m just a broad wannabe. But, a gal can dream, right? Be on the lookout for the second book – Magic Fishing Panties – in 2015.

BTW, book reviews are the gift that keeps on giving for authors. Please consider posting a few reviews for these books. I know these women will most definitely appreciate your kindness.

Oh, and one last thing regarding Mr. Lewis. I think I’ll let Tina take this one:

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2797/kim-dalferes-blog/the-12-broads-of-christmas-3/feed36That’s What He Saidhttp://kimdalferes.com/2759/kim-dalferes-blog/thats-what-he-said
http://kimdalferes.com/2759/kim-dalferes-blog/thats-what-he-said#commentsFri, 28 Nov 2014 13:30:14 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2759Psst! Hey, it’s me, the Hubs. Kimba is off snoozing away in a turkey-induced tryptophan coma. She left her blog dashboard open! I’m grabbing what may be my one and only chance to set the record straight regarding a few things.

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2759/kim-dalferes-blog/thats-what-he-said/feed32So Tucked Uphttp://kimdalferes.com/2740/kim-dalferes-blog/so-tucked-up
http://kimdalferes.com/2740/kim-dalferes-blog/so-tucked-up#commentsThu, 13 Nov 2014 16:11:42 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2740There seems to be quite a bit written lately regarding what couples argue about. Just last week one of my favorite writers, Crystal Ponti, penned a piece for the Huffington Post – 5 Crazy Things Most Couples Fight About. I especially liked Ponti’s take on how assumptions are often the root cause of most misunderstandings and arguments. Ponti is a bit of an expert in this arena: she contributed to the hilarious and recently released Clash of the Couples, which is filled with fabulous tales of coupledom squabbles.

It seems we couples sure do fight about some really stupid stuff.

Here’s the thing: if I’ve garnered any little bit of wisdom after nearly seventeen years of life with the Hubs (almost fourteen of them married), it’s that the solution to most issues is compromise and humor. If every disagreement has to escalate to full-blown winner/loser status, pretty soon you end up with two extremely exhausted people who have spent hours in circular arguments without a clue as to how the argument started in the first place. Small disagreements over common issues: dishes in the sink, toilet paper replacement, or making dinner can quickly get out of hand and devolve into giant storms over irresponsibility, self-worth, and lack of mutual appreciation and respect.

Truth be told, I did not always excel at compromise in my first marriage. This second time around, as I look back from up here in the middle-aged cheap seats, I realize that I’ve mellowed out somewhat. Is it age? Is it experience? Perhaps it’s the realization that these three little words can save you a lot of heartache: Lighten Up, Shirley.

Hubs and I have learned to agree to disagree in many areas: politics, religion, and NASCAR (I’ve tried, but I really don’t get NASCAR). However, there remains one area, one very important area, where we cannot come to consensus: the tucking of bed sheets.

Hubs is a tucker. I get it, he’s a military guy, and they have a long history of straight, stiff corners and bed sheets secured so tightly you can bounce a quarter off of them. But who sleeps that way?! I gotta have my sheets untucked, with room for one foot to stick out the side. This may be the oddest line in the sand for a couple, but there’s just no compromising on this one. My size 11’s are not going to be happy all bunched up at the end of the bed. Each night we do our little bed sheet dance – Hubs is tucked up, but not moi. Seems perfectly reasonable that this would be our standoff, don’t cha think?

I know that Hubs and I are not alone out here, that most couples have at least one area where their disagreements seem pretty stupid to the outside world. For a compilation, I invite you to watch this video – Weird Things that ALL Couples Fight About. What makes this video, which is part of a series, so wonderful is that the actors in the video are also married in real life – this makes me love them even more.

Do you have one reoccurring argument with your significant other that may seem ridiculous, but makes perfect sense to you?

Cheers,

Kimba

]]>http://kimdalferes.com/2740/kim-dalferes-blog/so-tucked-up/feed36Stripping Lessonshttp://kimdalferes.com/2692/kim-dalferes-blog/stripping-lessons
http://kimdalferes.com/2692/kim-dalferes-blog/stripping-lessons#commentsFri, 31 Oct 2014 12:30:51 +0000http://kimdalferes.com/?p=2692I’ve tackled many DIY projects throughout my 1980s colonial style house. You’ve experienced my “joys” as I’ve described my budget powder room makeover and my trash to treasure patio re-do. Hubs and I have painted almost every room, pulled up nasty green shag carpet, replaced cabinet handles and hinges, reupholstered chairs and benches, and completed a honey-do list that is varied and extensive. However, for the past 13 years we’ve chosen to ignore one particular room: the spare bathroom upstairs. Why? Because it possessed a hideous case of 1980s floral wallpaper.

It’s never a good idea for this Virgo gal to have down time. Two weeks ago as I faced the perfect storm of delays between contracts, coupled with being caught up on writing assignments and/or in editing lockdown, I pondered how to fill my time. I ambled into the guest bath and, seized by what must have been the demented ghost of bathrooms past, reached over and tore at a strip of peeling paper. At that moment of impulsive stupidity, I had committed to taking on this long avoided project.

These weeks of scraping, tearing, swearing, peeling, rubbing, scrubbing sanding, and stripping have, surprisingly, brought some unique insights. OK, it hasn’t been akin to reaching inner peace or connecting with my chakra. However, I discovered that there is a kind of introspection to the wallpaper removal process that offers some life lessons, stripping lessons if you will. These include:

Nothing is ever as easy as you think it will be.

It’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Patience is a virtue.

4. When you scratch the surface, you might be surprised by what lies beneath.

5. Sometimes you’ll need to tear down to build up.

6. Everyone has an opinion of how something should be done.

7. There are few moments in this life as fulfilling as when you manage to remove all the wallpaper from behind a toilet.

8. Small steps lead to big reveals.

9. A little wine always makes any task more fun.

10. Ya gotta commit to putting in some hard work, no matter how boring.

I’m happy to conclude that after patiently waiting for 13 years, the spare bathroom has now been given the updating it so desperately needed and deserved. I’d love to say I’m officially done, but there’s always the garage, and both offices, and the basement, and the laundry room … oh please let that new contract start soon!

How about you: have you ever received divine inspiration in some unique way?

Cheers,

Kimba

PS: oh, and here’ a glimpse of the new and improved bathroom. I think she’s mighty purtee…

PPS: And in the interest of full disclosure, I discovered, this morning, this hiding under the sink…