Growing up with a severely autistic brother, Natalia Nodiff felt both alone and a "sense of connection and protectiveness" for her only sibling, Philip, who communicated through a private language of simple words, sounds and facial expressions yet has "something pure and beautiful about him.’’

Four years her senior, Philip mussed her ponytail to show affection and loved the classic rock music their father played. As Philip grew older and had more "aggressive episodes," Nodiff came to admire her father’s constant support that, despite the added burdens, "made something beautiful out of what some would consider a tragedy.’’

The 26-year-old college student from Natick wrote her moving remembrance of family life with an autistic sibling for "Dads of Disability,’’ a frank and informative anthology "about fathers of children who experience disability (and the women who love them!).’’

The 41 stories and a handful of poems were collected and edited by Gary Dietz, a New Hampshire father of a son "with multiple disabilities’’ who has gathered together powerful firsthand accounts by 36 people of the pressures and rewards of raising a child with disabilities.

For his first book, he has focused on fathers’ roles and sought to "break stereotypes’’ that often mask the difficulties and often life-changing demands of raising disabled children.

Rather than emphasize heartwarming tales of the "adorable special needs kid or Super Dad father,’’ Dietz, a product marketing specialist, has presented stories from a broad spectrum of fathers, mothers and siblings who speak honestly on "male and fatherhood themes’’ about raising and loving a child with disabilities.

He described his first book as "a unique exploration of the emotional lives of a variety of fathers from some really under-heard voices.’’

"I want to tell stories that aren’t typical,’’ said Dietz. "And I want to debunk the idea that men aren’t emotionally involved with the life of their children.’’

In addition to the book’s forward by genetic counselor by MaryAnn Campion, "Dads of Disability’ features contributions by four Bay State contributors whose varied stories convey many of the complex realities of fathers and families raising children with disabilities.

In "Dear Dad: An Open Letter,’’ Natalia Nodiff offered a heartfelt tribute to her father, Dave Nodiff, for using a shared passion for rock music to express unconditional love for his son even during rocky times.

A psychology student at Bunker Hill Community College, she said living with an autistic brother "is not like a fairytale where you can overcome every challenge.’’

"You never stopped loving him. You bravely stood by his side and took no shame in being the father of a son with a disability,’’ she wrote. "… You took what life dealt you and you created meaning in an absurd universe.’’

Even after her brother’s agressive behavior triggered a heart attack that required bypass surgery, Nodiff recalled of her father "your love never, ever wavered and you took on the responsibilities of being (Philip’s) personal nurse, cabbie, cook, cleaner, entertainer and defender.’’

Page 2 of 3 - Douglas Keating’s "Great!’’ celebrates the strides his 4-year-old son Charlie has made when he verbalizes in one word his feelings about a baseball game.

The Woburn resident explained Charlie son was born with childhood apraxia of speech that inhibits his ability to express himself in words.

Keating puts in perspective the range of disabilities other parents cope with. "Charlie’s disability could be worse. He’s amazing at Lego. He’s the happiest kid ever,’’ he said. "Another 6-year-old might say to him, ‘You talk funny.’ But we understand him. We’ve got used to it.’’

With therapy, Keating said Charlie has "been making great strides’’ and significantly increased his vocabulary but remains "behind all the benchmarks’’ of typical cognitive progress. "We don’t know what the future holds,’’ he said.

His wife, Crystal Keating, said few people can understand how "emotionally exhausting and time-consuming’’ raising a child with disabilities can be.

In the mornings, her husband prepares Charlie and his 8-year-old sister, Sylvia, for school, because as an elementary school teacher, she has to leave early.

"I couldn’t be a mom without Doug. It’s a partnership,’’ she stressed. "Doug is the one who supports me.’’

In the introduction, MaryAnn Campion, a genetic counselor at Boston University, wrote that in vitro testing can identity a significant number of children likely to be born with disabilities. She added, however, present technology can not identity the "majority of cases’’ in which a child will be born with autism.

The founding director of the Master of Science Program in Genetic Counseling at Boston University, Campion said early diagnosis of likely disabilities provides expecting couples with options including adoption or termination of the pregnancy.

While men are "often less inclined to seek counseling and support,’’ she emphasized, "I think to me the most important thing is that fathers realize their voices need to be heard and no one is alone.’’

But when Northeastern University professor Jeffrey Howe wrote frankly of the actual financial costs of raising his son Finn, who has been diagnosed with multiple cognitive disorders, members of "the disability community’’ barraged him with online criticisms, questioning whether he truly loved his child.

In conversation and in one of the anthology’s larger pieces, "The Measure of Grief,’’ Howe said raising a child with disabilities "can be phenomenally tough on marriages," impose heavy financial burdens and "end the dreams we had for our lives.’’

"With a child with disabilities, parents go from being lovers to business partners. It can be like having a kid going to Harvard who never leaves,’’ he said.

While many in the disability community and others without disabled children "think you’re the bad guy if you institutionalize’’ (disabled) children, Howe acknowledged researching that option.

Page 3 of 3 - Though his son Finn sometimes seems "to hail from some unknown distant planet’’ and may make very little progress, Howe said, "The thought of having him away from us is a nightmare.’’

"I thank God everyday we endured those high hard days and got to the point where Finn is a joy to raise,’’ he said. "At some point grief ends.’’

"Dads of Disability’’ concludes with Mark Bailey’s brief recollection of a discussion with his 4-year-old daughter, Lila.

After asking whether all people "have all their parts,’’ Lila discussed birth defects with her father and learned,"Some people don’t have all their parts.’’

"They’re still people,’’ said the child. "That’s the most important part.’’