Saturday, April 17, 2004

I Call Him Skywalker by Kip Yates

It was close to midnight, October 22nd 2003, game four of the World Series,
the New York Yankees up two games to one, the Florida Marlins clinging to a
tenuous two run lead, top of the ninth, two runners on and Ruben Sierra
one strike away from ending the Yankee threat. A Marlins win would even the
series at two games a piece. Sierra lines a shot down the right field line; two
run triple, tie ball game. I remember it so well because that was when my wife,
Jamie, announced, “Kip, it’s time!” At that moment, that particular game ceased
to exist, for me anyway. I could hardly care less about what happened now. So
what! The Yankees would somehow pull this one out and win either game five or
six and yet another World Series Championship. I wouldn’t know until much later
that the Marlins somehow hung on for the next three innings and won the game on
a 12th inning Alex Gonzalez home run. Tied Series! I didn’t know until
later that afternoon. I had more pressing concerns. My son
River was born a few hours
earlier and because of some minor complications, was staying in the hospital
special care ward. The next few days were a blur and the World Series was an
after thought. I witnessed the last two gut-wrenching innings of game five and
then slept off my very busy day. River was getting better by the hour but had
to stay in special care for five days. By the time, I had the inclination to
care, The Marlins had defeated the Yankees 4 games to 2 and I missed it. I
missed Josh Beckett’s near immortal game and series clincher. The
Yankees, as in 2001 and 2002 were defeated. Then I started to think: the Yanks
are 0 for River, meaning that since my son was born, the Yankees had not won a
game. My lord, how long into April 2004 would this streak go? Thus I dubbed him
Skywalker. For at his birth began the crumbling of the Evil Empire.

You could argue with me if you want to, but facts are facts. The Yankees we
have known for the past decade are falling apart. They are older and have traded
away younger talent for uber-expensive flavors of the month. George
Steinbrenner is up to his old tricks. Joe Torre is on the hot seat
as the season begins more than he ever has been. Don Zimmer was
practically driven away to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The team’s biggest free
agent acquisitions are over 35 years of age. They lacked a legitimate third
baseman thanks to Aaron Boone’s off season basketball misadventures and
obtained shortstop Alex Rodriguez from the Texas Rangers with the
intention of switching him to third. He is a mighty expensive band-aid. Their
former MVP first baseman has shaky health. To top it all off, 60% of their 2003
staring rotation is gone and best of all, 40% of last year’s rotation will now
call Houston home. My Houston Astros
signed Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens. The formerly hated Roger
Clemens now revered Roger Clemens! (See my article in issue #7 and check out
Red’s [Ed: Zisk contributor Lisa Alcock] current article, a
defamation of my very character, in this issue.) Does it get any better than
one of the greatest pitchers of our generation and another of the most
consistent pitchers of the past decade suiting up for my team? Well, River
smiled at me the other day so maybe it does get better. The Houston Astros
don’t make off season moves like this all of the time. I thought signing Jeff
Kent last year was an aberration but this winter has been off the charts
abnormal.

So, let’s get down to brass tacks. I am aware of what I wrote last year
about Roger Clemens and maybe Jerry Seinfeld is right when he says that
we don’t cheer for players, but rather we cheer for laundry. Roger Clemens is
wearing the right laundry and that is all that has to be said. He is Anakin
Skywalker. He fought for the good guys (Texas Longhorns and Boston Red Sox) and
was swayed over to the dark side (the Yankees). He is now that battle-hardened
veteran we see at the end of the last Star Wars episode, though not dead and
glowing lime green while Ewoks dance around. Remember the end of the movie when
Luke pulls off the helmet Darth Vader wore and for the first time we saw the
man he used to be before he became a machine? That is Roger! He was lulled out
of retirement and will figure prominently among an already good staff with the
Astros. He just makes them better. He makes them more formidable. He and
Pettitte bring a winning attitude to their hometown team. They have joined the
rebel alliance and we all know that the good guys win in the end.