Monday, November 29, 2004

Someone please tell me this is a joke

The community support officers reacted immediately. They behaved as if they had never seen a penknife before, pulling out the bottle-opener, the corkscrew, the thing that gets stones out of horses' hooves. "This device has a locking blade," said the constable. My goodwill towards the police began to give way to alarm. I reached for my mobile to call the lawyers and explain that I was going to be late but the constable stopped me. "Turn that phone off," he said. "You're about to be arrested for possessing offensive weapons and carrying a bladed instrument in public. You'll be allowed one call when we get you to Charing Cross police station."

Later he calls the constable in charge of this farce a wanker. Seems pretty mild to me. On the other hand, it would be cool to show the "community support officers" what the folks around my neck of the woods carry in their vehicles. If the officers didn't have weak hearts.