John Gray: We used to be nicer than this

I’d like to make a suggestion to all the tourism folks who market this country to the rest of the world. I think we should change “America the Brave” to “America the Mean.”

Open your eyes to what’s happening around you and there’s a deluge of bad behavior. I know, I know the world has always had its share of bad people doing bad things but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m pointing to is something much simpler, a virus that seems to be spreading like water on a cracked sidewalk, finding its way into every crevice of society. Put simply as a question: When did we become so damn mean?

Pick up this newspaper in the last week alone and you would have read about teenage girls in Florida bullying a 12-year-old child so fiercely and with such hatred that after a year of the torment they finally got their wish and the little girl threw herself off a building. Making matters worse, after the child was dead, one of them bragged on social media that “yes” she was the one who drove the girl to kill herself and she didn’t care.

Is Florida too far from your driveway to make this relevant? OK, how about a football team in Burnt Hills winning a football game against Amsterdam so soundly that they could have literally sat their players for the last five minutes and still won. You’d think embarrassing a team on the field would be enough for most rabid fans, but a group of young people found it necessary to chant racial slurs at the opposing team because they come from a city known for its diversity.

Schenectady police need to escort 12-year-old girls home from a middle school because they’ve gotten wind of an all girls “fight club” and walking three blocks home is, for some children, like running through a mine field. The State Education Commissioner has to cancel public forums over the new common core standards because at the first meeting people decided to just scream at him. How is that helpful?

Even our leaders, Republican and Democrat, have pumped up the anger by using words that instill fear and hatred. Think about the mess in Washington right now and how many times you heard well educated, once respected representatives describing their political opponents at “taking hostages” or “terrorists”. Even the President said his political opponents were holding a gun to the head of the American people to get what they wanted. No they weren’t. No guns, no terrorists, no hostages Mr. President. Just politics, nasty and misguided. I’m not taking sides in that debacle, I’m just saing some of the most important people in this country can’t agree to disagree without dialing up the drama. The words we choose matter.

Social media is by far the worst. Facebook and Twitter have become the stomping grounds of the stupid where people disappointed in their own miserable lives get to share their venom. I’m not talking about opinions; I’m referring to nasty, down to the bone hatred toward others.

We used to be nicer than this. We could debate important issues without screaming over each other. We could talk without calling people names. And we raised nicer children. I’m not saying all of them are bad but look around at what we are producing lately. “I’m glad she’s dead,” one of them posted in that Florida death. Really?

I’m no big fan of Chris Mathews (too arrogant, trust me I’ve met him) but in his new book about Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill he points out how we used to disagree in this country but we always respected each other. No two men fought more than Tip and Ronnie yet when the President was shot O’Neill was one of the first people at his hospital bedside. They prayed

together. That’s who we used to be.

You know I’ve always loved the movie “Roadhouse” and I think I just figured out why. When Patrick Swayze is teaching the bouncers how to treat people he tells them even if they have to throw a drunk out of the bar they should “always be nice.” Oh how America could use some Swayze now.

John Gray is co-anchor of Fox 23 and WTEN Channel 10 news. His column runs on Wednesdays.