Monday, January 21, 2008

choking on ego

delete fucking everything would if i could. another down-swing and i plummet fast. trying to hold on close your eyes it will all be over soon but in the meantime fuck the meantime. fuck you fuck him fuck it.

i feel it all now and it is sometimes unbearable. the feelings wash over me warm and cool waves over my head down my face and into my chest knotting and twisting up settling in my throat waiting for release. it comes so easily now and i still fight it but it's a lot harder to hold it down. and i feel like i'm crumbling and i'm not used to this i'm not used to being unable to control this.