The author is a Forbes contributor. The opinions expressed are those of the writer.

Loading ...

Loading ...

This story appears in the {{article.article.magazine.pretty_date}} issue of {{article.article.magazine.pubName}}. Subscribe

Continued from page 5

LONG-TERM PLANNING: It’s easier to tackle the problems that you can see coming.

Even before our first year of high school, we were informed about choices that could potentially affect our college admissions, such as whether to take particular SAT II subject tests. The first meeting with college advisers, tenured teachers who were tasked with helping us apply for university, took place over a year before applications were due. Some students requested appointments even before that. The purpose was to address potential issues, especially while they were small and manageable, before they devolved into larger, harder-to-solve problems down the road.

Preparation for: effective problem-solving. Farsightedness factored into my life in an entirely different way: early in life, my father told me, not unkindly, that he wouldn’t have the means to put me through college. If my father had waited until the last minute to inform me of that reality, my stellar college advisor would not have known to refer me to Kal Chany, a financial planner who specializes strategies to make college tuition more affordable. While paying for education was (and since I have student loans, continues to be) a struggle, it would have been that much more stressful if I had less time to devise a solution.

(Full disclosure: The services of Kal Chany and his firm, Campus Consultants, which amounted to half a dozen meetings over the course of my senior year, were provided pro-bono to me as a result of his ongoing relationship with my high school. I haven’t been in touch with him for the better part of the decade, yet I still recall the care with which he handled my case.)

Real-world approach: Do a cost-benefit analysis of how your actions today will affect your choices several years from now. For example, is having a second job part-time helping you to pay off your student loans, which will improve your credit score so that you can secure lower mortgage rates when you buy a house? Or will it leave you so drained at the first job that you run the risk of getting fired, requiring you to put in some additional years before you get the benefits-laden position that you really desire? The right answer is the one that works for you.

EPILOGUE: Hard times make you hardy.

Far be it from me to say that every moment of high school was glorious. Remember the warning my friend gave me at the start of freshman year, that revealing myself to be a scholarship recipient would amount to “social suicide”? There turned out to be a grain of truth in that warning, not that my silence made me seem any more like a trust fund baby. During one dinner with my classmate and her family, someone at the table asked whether I had any siblings (yes), whether they lived in the city (yes), and what they were up to in life (pause). “At the moment, my sister’s a cashier,” I said. My sweet classmate was the first person to break the incredibly awkward silence. “How unusual!” she said in genuine tones. “We don’t know many people who do that. Does she like it?” Her father looked like he was ready to throw up whatever fancy dinner we were eating. It didn’t surprise me that I was never invited back. Scenes like this were repeated dozens of times over the four years, making for a particularly memorable spate of freshman year where I spent every night for one week straight crying in my bedroom.

But those weren’t even the worst things that happened to me during high school, and as I write this, it seems senseless to give second thoughts to things that no longer remains hurtful. Moreover, it taught me the importance of giving others the time of day, and gave me the chance to find those who eventually became the closest friends I've ever had. All that’s left is my unwaveringly deep gratitude for the teachers who taught me, administrators who cared about my personal well being, and the many incredible friends who continue to inspire me in surprising ways with each passing day. While it’s difficult to designate any one lesson as the most important, realizing this changed me forever: Challenges are often temporary, but the strength derived from overcoming them stays with you for life.

Did you attend a prep school? Public school? Home school every day of your life? How have they helped or hindered you?

For tuition-paying parents, did you feel that it was worthwhile?

Continue the discussion in the comments below, or via twitter and e-mail.