3am ..

She opened her eyes and tried to figure out which city she was in. Delhi, Bombay, Kolkata, Bangalore, London, Sydney, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Cambodia, Kaula Lumpur, or was it some random city in the United States?! The dark room made it hard for her to see. The ceiling felt familiar but the lights were put out for her to read. She closed her eyes and decided to fall asleep.

This became her 3am routine. Day after day, night after night, years went by and every night ended for her at 3am and every morning began at 3.05am for her. What followed then was a strange sequence of struggle in her thoughts and in the broad daylight when she smiled and laughed, even she didn’t know who she was.

Several searches revealed strange facts about being up at 3am at night but those never appealed to her. What did appeal to her were those 5 minutes of transition between her reality and her existence. She could argue that her existence was her reality, well, actually not. Her realisations weren’t her reality. They made up for the reality that she chose to see and to trust. Her existence, well, she just existed like the rest of us, in flesh and blood.

Finding it rather hard to tell and to digest, she decided to move through her transitions and reason. Oh well, like several others, she didn’t realise that even reasons weren’t available for the best known cases. Sometime in history books, she had read that it’s always a struggle between the mind and the heart so she decided to figure out what was it that was tearing her apart. Was it all in her mind or was in all in her heart?! Something somewhere did need to be fixed for her life didn’t feel like life usually does.