Where do I go from here?

Tonight, I pushed myself and I PRed my 5k. I ran 5.25k in 36.17. The Army Run was 37:10 for 5.1k.

Holy @#$*.

I wanted to slow down so many times. My inner-critic urged me to slow down, to just take a break. I told it to @#$% off and sped up a hill, then swore at the hill.

My lungs were hurting, I was gasping for breath at the end, I was worried I was going to have to walk, with nothing left in the tank. I kept moving my water bottle from hand to hand, it felt heavy and annoying for the first time. I wanted to be lighter, stretch, and move faster.

I didn’t want to walk. I desperately wanted to finish this run strong. It seems odd, but I didn’t want to let anyone down by walking into the parking lot. I didn’t want to let myself down by giving up when a really great achievement was so close.

Run Club motivates me to keep going. My confidence in my ability to push has increased by about a billion percent, with this group of women. Exactly what I need and want.

I ran the fastest km split I have ever run at 6:38 pace. This is mostly due to the speed demons we have, taking off like a shot, and my endeavour to keep them in sight for at least a kilometre. I sort of did… Wow, it was fast. I was wheezing like an old lady by the time we hit the transit station. You ladies are awesome. I am making it a goal to be able to keep up to you by next year this time. My short little legs may be a blur like a cartoon character, but Imm’a gonna try.

This therapeutic run capped off a day of crazy kids, a stressful morning, a frustrating day at work, and traffic on the way home. I was tired and worried. I was desperate to get out and move to shake it all off.