Being part of our family unit, my non-allergic child from age 4 onward (when we realized his brother was an anaphylactic) realized he was part of the team responsible for helping his brother stay alive. He helped make and post No- peanut/nut/egg signs on our doors and I taught him how important it was for him to take care of his little brother's life.

The allergens are not present in our home. It's our way of telling the allergic chlid that we love him enough to go without the food. That life goes on even without the foods he can't eat (now only peanut and nuts but at one time included dairy as well). As a family we stick together. If one person can't have it no one does. When my older son was smaller at halloween he would ask every single person who gave him candies if they had peanuts or nuts in them and explain that his little brother would die from it. At school he still refuses to eat anything he knows we can't have at home. It's a matter of loving your sibling so much, you'll do anything to take care of him. He knows how to use the epi-pen (he's now 12, I taught him at age 7) and knows the procedures in case of an emergency. It's a matter of being selfless and understanding how hard it must feel for his brother. He still comments often that he wishes his little brother could eat the foods he can't, and it's always with the comment that that way, we wouldn't have to worry about him so much. It's never about how he could then have more treats at home.

Once in awhile when my allergic child is at a friend's place, I'll treat my other son to a peanut butter cup, or a DQ treat. I buy him a dollar store toothbrush to throw out after he's done, it's all done outside the house, his hands are scrubbed and he's happy. The entire time he usually laments about his little brother and how unfair it is that he can't have the treats. I sincerely believe we need to teach our children to be empathetic and understanding of one another. To put others first, especially in life threatening situations. My non-allergic child has never felt neglected, because love in my home isn't about what foods you can and can't eat.

BTW, yes my kids are very normal - they fight daily as all brothers do, get annoyed at each other constantly. It's just that food does not take precedence over life.

Klara, it's good to hear that siblings do manage to accept it. My guys are 4 (the one with the peanut allergy) and 8 months (no known allergies) so I haven't yet dealt with that. But, I know that my youngest will live like he is peanut allergic in our home simply becuase that is what we do to keep our oldest safe. I'm hoping that because it will have always been that way, he won't care much about not having certain things in the house.

Sounds like you have a good balance and have done a good job at raising an empathetic child.
My son who is peanut/nut allergic is 6 years old. My youngest is 2 years old. We actually don't know yet if he is allergic. I also just hope that since there are no allergens in our home that our youngest will grow up not really aware of what he is missing.
However, we've been told by our Allergist that before he starts school or is put in public child care we will have to know if he is allergic so the schools can be prepared. For now we treat him like he is allergic and just avoid everything. I too would like to ensure he is empathetic to his older brother.

Hi.
My oldest daughter is allergic to peanuts. Her little sister is starting kindergarten in September. Since we have kept our home peanut/nut free we have no idea if the younger child is allergic to nuts or peanuts. How can we find out? The doctors won't send her for allergy testing until she has had an allergic reaction. Should I get the school to treat her as if she is allergic? I don't know what to do. Has anybody else gone through this? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

I'd be worried too....especially if you or your partner have any allergies. If any allergies--seasonal allergies, dust mites, cats and dogs, etc.--are in the family you should definitely go. Is there any way that you can get a second opinion from another GP?

Last edited by Helen on Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks Lisa.
Both my husband and I have seasonal allergies. I thought my youngest might have seasonal allergies too, but she has been fine this spring. Using this as an excuse is a good idea though. Getting a second opinion is also a good idea. The only problem is the shortage of doctors. I have been trying for the last few years to find a new GP.
I thought of trying to just phone an allergist to book an appointment, but I am pretty sure you need a referral from a GP to get in. Maybe I should try the walk in clinics. If I go to enough of them maybe someone will listen to my concerns!

If your eldest child has allergies, she does she have an allergist?
If so coud you not contact him/her directly? I know your supposed to get referred through your GP but...it's worth a try.
Perhaps if the allergist won't test her they can explain what your options.

When your child is at school age, ask or insist that your G.P. send him/her for allergy testing. Key is to keep it up on a yearly basis. Just because a child shows negative on skin testing this year does not mean that next year will be same. Better to be SAFE than SORRY.

Definitely get another dr.! I've learned that you can't quit, you know your kids, you know better than the drs. Our first GP missed ALL the warning signs of our son having allergies/asthma/ eczema. It was a walk in clinic dr.(while we were on vacation out of province - she even tried to get us into an allergist while in our vacation spot) who told me to see an allergist and insist our GP refer us. Unfortunately, the referal came 2 weeks too late and he had his anaph. rx. in the mean time. BUT because the walk in clinic dr had rung my bell about allergies as soon as he started with breathing problems, we called 911 and had him on O2 in minutes and all is well now. If you have to go through the 'back door' - do it. Take your allergic child in to the allergist and get them to tell you what to do to get your non allergic child tested. Your non-allergic child is 5x more likely than any other child to have reactions! This is info I've gotten from my allergist. He didn't recommend testing our non allergic child as she is older and has been exposed, but he did say to be very careful about exposure.

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