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Punishments/discipline for a 7 y/o girl?

I'm at my wits end. My DD is very VERY well behaved in public, at school, at other friends homes etc. so much so that I get compliments and hear other moms compare their kids behavior to mine "does Xyz cry when it's time to leave?" But at home... It's just been hard. She runs constantly (she's not hyper and we constantly get outside/do activities. I revolve my day around getting the kids their needed entertainment and energy outlets) She does Not listen. Every time I say no, she IMMEDIATELY starts in on a contrarian reply. When it's time to get dressed, or do hair (brush and basic pony or quick clip nothing elaborate) she runs off screaming no. I will put the clothes in front of her and she tries EVERY TIME to do at least 3 other things. Summer work has been a complete insane scene. Over. And over. Even though previous times she ends up in her room, has TV and computer taken away and still ends up having to do it. She does VERY well at school. The work it not hard and doesn't take long, she just complains and acts like a psycho even though we agreed on the time and activity. if she wants a dessert and I say no.... She goes on and on.

i just don't know what to do because I'm yelling, getting way over upset because she's relentless.

Sit her down and tell her this stops. Today. You are her mother and she will start respecting you. Starting immediately she will only be told something once, if she goes on to argue, manipulate etc. she will lose privileges, be given extra chores, whatever type of punishment works best with her. If she doesn't get dressed, and you have to go somewhere, take her in p.j.'s Let her live with the consequences of her actions if possible. It may be trial and error to figure things out, but don't give up. Be consistent and firm and when you give her a punishment stick to it. If she tries to manipulate out of it, double it. She's a smart kid, she does what she does because she's getting away with it around you.

Your story is similar to mine. My 8yr old needed a lesson in respect for his parents too. Nothing works and he just responds to anger with anger, so I put him to work. I made him scrub the kitchen floor with a bucket and scrub brush, then talk to him afterwards about why he had to scrub it. It works like a charm.

There is a great book called Love and Logic for Early Childhood by Jim and Charles Fay. It has a lot of great ideas. I would start giving her tons of choices. Do you want to get dressed now or in 5 minutes? Do you want to leave now or after one last time down the slide? Do you want to pick up your room before or after snack? If you give her tons of choices that really are fine with you either way, then when it comes to the big things you say that she doesn't have a choice you can tell her you already gave her lots of choices and now it is your turn. As for the hair I would tell her that she has a choice to let you do her hair each day or get it cut shorter such as shoulder length where it doesn't require any real doing besides a quick brush. If she chooses to keep it longer then she needs to allow you to do it without a fight. For dessert I would make that something earned earlier in the day. As for the summer school work is it required work or your work you choose for her to do? I would give her as much flexibility as to when and where to do it as you can as long as she understands it needs to get done. So she can do it sitting on the lawn or on her bed or at the table or whatever but until it is done she can't do the other fun things.

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