Sunday, February 22, 2015

I'm back! I sure hope you all remember me. It's been a long, long time, and so much has happened. I will try to catch you up, little bits at a time, instead of writing my usual novel! As I write I'm watching the snow gently fall, enjoying the beauty of winter. Brrrr, it's freezing cold - but I still love it. Mom is in assisted living, since last summer. I thought I would be back to my life immediately after that happened, but helping her make the transition still required plenty of time and energy on my part. She wanted to go home, and I felt terrible guilt that I could no longer keep her there. We had no choice - it took more than one person to get her up now. For several months I spent the majority of my time either on the phone with her or at the assisted living. After she was settled in and I had most of my time to myself, I had this strange feeling - like I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing.I found myself starting this project, then starting that project, then feeling overwhelmed because I had so many things I wanted to do and didn't know where to begin. I also kept having this nagging feeling that I was supposed to be somewhere and was forgetting. I was so used to caring for Mom, pretty much 12 hours a day 7 days a week, that I almost didn't know how to live my life anymore.

My brother and I have finally finished cleaning out her home. That was a heart-wrenching experience, because so many things had sentimental value. Memories, thought to be buried forever, came flooding back. A ceramic frog, sitting in a planter still blooming with some sort of green vines, reminded me of Mom taking ceramics classes. Maybe this frog didn't mean the world to her, but I couldn't donate this or throw it away. Add it to my pile. Items that I have used or walked by a million times while caring for mom in her home suddenly meant more than a 5 carat diamond. In my pile they go. Pictures . . . oh the pictures, and the feelings that came up while going through them. Of course, in the pile they go.I am a very sentimental person, and believe me when I say the tears flowed, the sadness overwhelmed at times, and the overall realization that life is fleeting really hit me. I need to live my life now. I need to find out what makes Julie happy. Perhaps find my purpose in life. How to make the world a better place. I will evaluate my priorities, making sure that when I am nearing the end of my days I won't have regrets. At least not any new ones. I am thankful. Thankful that Mom is in a wonderful place. Thankful that it wasn't the house I grew up in because it would have been so much harder. Thankful to finally get my life back.Wouldn't you think my first project would be something amazing and fun and wonderful? Nope - the first thing I did was spend a month cleaning, organizing, and tackling the basement. I'm so boring!

Ironically, it is once again bursting at the seams - filled with things that I am either storing for my sister or one of my kids, or that I just couldn't give or throw away. I am reminding myself to go through it all and downsize my stuff, because I don't want my kids to have a monumental task when I leave my home. I miss so many of you, and can't wait to try to catch up on all I've missed. I hope you are all well and happy.

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Aunt Bea is my hero, Goober and Barney make me laugh. "I Love Lucy" is one of my favorite shows. Watching her in the Long, Long Trailer still makes me laugh even though I've seen it a dozen times. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Meet Me In St. Louis, It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, and A Christmas Story (with Ralphie) are among my favorites, but I love all the wonderful old movies. I enjoy listening to music from the 40's and old radio shows. I also love Christmas music, year round.

Yep, I'm that girl who is happy to hear Christmas on the radio in November while everyone else groans!

I love vintage, anything country, and handmade. I believe in handmade. I enjoy creating things with my hands, and I love to sew, quilt, make dolls and toys, crochet, knitting, and embroider. I love to draw and paint and write stories. One of my dreams is to illustrate my own children's book. I love to garden, cook, bake, and make jam.

Whenever there is time I play the piano, and since I asked for a ukelele for mother's day I've been trying to learn to play that. Luckily I dabbled in guitar so I have head start.

I'm kind of obsessed with the 40's. I figure that if I was born in the 30's I would have been just the right age in the forties. Just think how different life would be. The world was most definitely a kinder and gentler place . Even though it was hard work without all our modern inventions, people seemed to appreciate things more and have priorities in the right place.

When I bake or make jam I wear a handmade apron, sometimes mine - sometimes from my vintage apron collection. My blue ribbons from county fair are proudly displayed in my sewing room.

I enjoy hanging laundry out to dry, old fashioned clothespins and all. The sheets dance with the gentle breeze on the old, cotton clothesline, and when I lie in bed they will have that wonderful smell you can't get from a dryer sheet.

The summer sun warms my skin as I work in my garden. My soul is renewed as I inhale that wonderful smell of earth and grass, and I dig into the garden beds. As I plant and pull those stubborn weeds, I remind myself that mother nature is providing me with a dirt manicure. The sweet songs the birds are singing to me fill the air, and I stop and say a small prayer, thanking God for my blessings.

I have nine chickens, all named for special women in my life, my grandmas, aunts, and great aunts. My girls bless me with the most beautiful brown eggs a girl could ask for!

Now, if only I could find a vintage 50's trailer I would paint it pink and aqua and cover it with polka dots. I'd place it right next to the flower garden, set back between two tall oak trees. I'll fill it with my handmade quilts and curtains and pillows and vintage crocheted potholders. I would decorate it with all the vintage kitschy things I've collected over the years.

Life would be perfect!

If you also believe in handmade, and long for simpler times, please join me in my adventures. My goal is to inspire, teach skills to create, and promote all things handmade.