Leaving a relationship can sometimes feel like a time warp. Maybe you started dating your ex-husband at 35 and now that you are 53 the two of you are getting a divorce. Or even if you fell in love at 24 and a baby and some years later you find yourself single and 30. So much about yourself and your life has changed!

When you are not on the dating scene you will be surprised how different the rules are.

Here are a few tips to help you transition from Seriously Taken to Suddenly Single:

1. Announce your newly single status GRACEFULLY! Let the ones who matter most be the first to know, so that they are not finding out from a facebook status. Let them trickle the news down, as you know they will spill, even if they swore to secrecy. When YOU are ready; throw a cute pic of yourself up online with a clever caption like:”Getting back to just loving myself”.

2.If there is even a glimmer of hope for your relationship DO NOT BASH THAT PERSON ONLINE OR ANYWHERE ELSE! Sometimes you are upset about something but the two of you get over it with time and reconcile, you never know what the future holds. Imagine how stupid you will look if you have told the internet about that person having an STD (true or not). Just keep your mouth SHUT when it comes to vengeful slurs, no good will come of it.

3.Embrace your new found freedom.Get drunk, get a little crazy, reclaim your youth (or whatever years) that you spent in that relationship, no need to rush into a new one. Spend some time getting to know the new you and REFLECT so you do not make ANY of the same mistakes. But remember; Let Loose, but don’t BE LOOSE!

4.Fight the Urge to Contact. This is like the hardest part! Especially if you are used to talking to your ex-mate about everything, or if the two of you have children, OR if you have a great relationship with their family OR if you have 2947 mutual friends. But trust me it is important to clear your life.space of a person so that you can be confident in your decision to move on. Let the relationship GO if it is over.When people say “lets just be friends” they ARE NOT ready to be single and not ready to be w/o that person. So give yourself substantial time before considering a friendship w/an ex.

5.You can’t change the past, but you can have one hell of a future!Go find what you want. Do what you want. Try something new. Love louder, laugh louder, live louder. No need to tastelessly flaunt how many dates you are on or how quickly you found someone new, let your spirit show how much happier you are.

March is National Women’s HisHerstory Month, which is a great time for me to quickly let you all know about my Thursday night (I’ll tie it all together I promise).

My Thursday television line-up included Parks and Recreation, Mary Mary, and Scandal.

A few things stuck out to me while watching all this delightful programming. Each of these shows have a woman as the leading role which is great, ehhh I guess. In Parks and Rec. there have been 3 weddings (if I am counting correctly), and a host of successful relationships etc. This season of Mary Mary is focused on Tina’s husband cheating on her and last night we found out Erica’s husband might have cheated too (SPOILER ALERT!), and then there is Scandal where the whole show is rape, cheating, well you know – things that are scandalous.

As someone who is still very young and a terribly, hopeless romantic I want to get married – ONCE! I am a very loyal and committed individual who expects the same in return. Watching Mary Mary (which is a reality show) and seeing a woman BROKEN because of her husband’s infidelity makes me nervous and very sympathetic for her. Seconds later turning on Scandal to see the main character glorified for sleeping with a married man, really threw me off a bit. I know that terrible things make for great TV but what bothers me most are other women’s responses to what is depicted.

I think about BET’s Being Mary Jane, I am not a recurring viewer but I have seen ENOUGH episodes (2 to be exact) to see that the show is centered around a woman who is sleeping with or who has slept with a married man. People love that show. Week after week I see tweets and fb stats where viewers are bashing the wives, and promoting the mistress and even the cheating husband. BET even has a promotion where they are telling people to embrace their inner Mary Jane. WHAT? What does that even mean?

My favorite responses are when people tweet things like “he wouldnt have cheated if his wife wasnt such a bitch”, or “if only they could just be together”. And I wonder how many of the women who are saying these things are turning over to a man, who is faithful.Or how many of them are dumb enough to REALLY believe he wasn’t that “in LOVE” with his actual wife at one point in time.

From a far, these shows look like they have some powerful women in it; journalists, white house liasons, the first lady, etc. But the women are crying in every episode, chasing men down the street, accused of stealing sperm. I guess that is as strong as women get…idk, im just sharing my thoughts on a blog.

But I just can not seem to get over the responses to this behavior. I am going to continue to watch Scandal but I am #TEAMMELLIE, #teamcommitment, #TEAM “You can act stupid if you want to but yo ass betta pull it together because you stood at that alter and vowed to commit and I dont care what kind of “love” you got for that 2 dollar tramp; till death do us part means the only way we getting out of this is in a coffin”. Those are my teams, yes the last one is a bit long, but you get my point.

I could go on for days and sorry for not being able to really delve as deep as I want to, but as I always say this is a BLOG not a BOOK!

I just want to ask, Whats up with women? Yall really think this is okay?

The other day me and my two favorite men were out and decided to grab something to eat. All day my bf was like “babe, you want to get some pizza today” “you in the mood for pizza later” etc. so

WE GOT PIZZA!

We went to Mr. Dino’s Pizzeria & Restaurant in Bloomfield, NJ on 1st Ave. NOT TO BE CONFUSED with Mr. Dino’s in Montclair!

The ambiance is nothing fancy, a flat screen on the wall and a couple tables and chairs. Not the place for a large group of people or a fancy anything. Just a regular pizzeria, which was appreciated because we were not looking for a date night spot!

We ordered the $6.00 pie special. After ordering the guy who makes the pizza says “you know you have to take this to go because if you eat it here it will be $9.00”. To me that was the most outrageous thing I had ever heard, although my BF thought I was over reacting. I was not paying anyone $3.00 to sit at their table.

To loophole our way around that stupid rule we ordered the pizza to go and garlic knots and drinks to stay.

I am sure you want to know, HOW DID IT TASTE?

I normally think garlic knots are just way too much garlic, but these knots were SO delicious($2.50). If they would infuse their knots with Parmesan cheese, or mozzarella, they would have the tastiest pizza dish yet.

On to the PIZZA! I think that the tastiest thing on a pizzeria’s menu should be the pizza, no matter how good the other dishes are. My ideal pizza has a crispy bottom layer, but a soft edge crust, and a perfect cheese to sauce ratio! (HAHA that whole description is funny to me, but anyway.)

The amount of cheese was awesome! But i needed a little more sauce. The sauce was really good though. I like my sauce to be more sweet than savory and it was just that.

The crust was dry, and the bottom was not as crispy. I think crust should be just as edible as the pizza but whatever.

For the knots, the pizza, a water, and a soda we spent about $11.00!

Very cheap. Not the best pizza ever but it was good and I am going back to get some garlic knots so I can take them home and stuff them with cheese (don’t judge me!). Aside from that I will not be running back. In the future I may try other things from their menu. But if you are out and in the area, I say go in and grab a slice. I have had bad pizza, and this was definitely good pizza!

I would be lying if I said there was nothing I wanted to change about my life right now. Life can really suck you into a whirlwind sometimes, and it is easier than you think to get caught up and lose little pieces of yourself along the way. As a new mom, and a stay at home, work from home, live from home mom at only 22; there are times I’m lost in my own routine.

I have decided to get my LIFE BACK!!! with a simple list of 10 easy changes that wont require too much of a fuss. I am posting this list on the blog so that I have NO CHOICE but to follow through.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. For some that means nothing, and for others that means WAY TOO MUCH!

Either way… I was getting my google on, as I often do; and stumbled upon a few “not so legit” holidays.

If you are looking to celebrate something, here are a few, not-so-Vday ideas for you to enjoy this time of year!

Galentine’s Day – I have fallen madly in love with the show Parks & Recreation, and Leslie Knope and her female friends and family celebrate GAL-ENTINE’S day. A day made up to enjoy the company of women to chit chat, laugh, and exchange gifts and love.

Desperation Day – staying with the TV theme; on the show How I Met Your Mother, this made up day came about. The day before Valentine’s day when women are lonely and “easy”. I wouldn’t recommend participation in this one!

and if these are not enough to have you hanging streamers and blowing up balloons, how about…

Library Lovers Day – If your anything like me, you’re thinking WOAH THERE, let me pick out a new outfit for this . -_- Seriously though, for those of you who enjoy a good trip to the library..this one’s for you =D

Get a Different Name Day -This is an official copyrighted holiday celebrated February 13th, believe it ornot/

Remember! There is nothing preventing you from starting your own traditions and creating your OWN holidays. Don’t get so wrapped up in what everyone else is doing or what you think you “should” be doing.

Are you single? Sick of Valentine’s Day and just waiting for it to be over!

VDay is not just about being in a relationship, it is about being LOVED and LOVING others.

Here are a few things single girls and guys can do this Valentine’s Day.

1. Secret (santa) Admirer

Get together with a bunch of your friends and do a grab bag for VDay. Each of you pull a name and set a monetary limit for gifts. Go out and get some chocolates, candies, etc and on the big day meet up at a restaurant to have dinner, drinks, and exchange your Valentine’s Day gifts.

2. ALL-STAR Weekend

One of my favorite Valentine’s Day things to do, is to watch the NBA’s all star weekend. This year it will be held in the NOLA, but you can watch it from home on TNT. Starting Thursday, Feb. 13th there will be Dunk-a-thons, Celebrity games, East vs West, and the infamous Dunk Contest. Take your focus off of the lovey dovey and watch a bit of basketball.

3. Volunteer for Valentine’s

What better way to spread some love? Find a charity or organization that supports a cause you are passionate about and see how you can help. This will surely occupy your day and make you feel awesome about yourself. It is very cold outside, so have a warm heart and go to a soup kitchen or shelter and lend a hand

When it comes to dating, love, romance, and relationships- everyone wants a fairy tale. Unfortunately many of us who are young and in love, find ourselves BROKE and in love. As a hopeless romantic I have found myself battling with my bank account to stretch my dime far enough to put a smile on my boo’s face without leaving me in TEARS. Much like Beyonce and Jay Z, I too would like to be Drunk in Love, but sometimes my pockets sober me up REALLY FAST! So here is a guide on the Best Ways to Keep your Honey Happy on a Tight Budget.

Let’s Begin Shall We:

Spa

Everyone loves to be pampered. Put together your own little spa so that you can make your spouse feel special. This can include, but definitely not limited to: Manicures and pedicures(nail clipper, nail file, polish), oils and lotions for full body, foot, or back massages, cool refreshing drinks (with or without alcohol) or a nice warm cup of tea or hot cocoa. Be sure not to forget your bf/gf favorite candy or box of chocolates to snack on while relaxing, and a nice, soft warm blanket or robe for them to snuggle into. To top off the experience have soothing sounds playing in the background.

Courtesy of rebloggy.com

FOOD

The way to many people’s heart is through the stomach, so here are a few edible, yet affordable ideas.

Indoor Picnic – This time of a year is a bit chilly, but I still think it is worth bundling up with your special someone, picnic style. In order to make this look and feel EXTRA special: move the furniture, lay out a blanket, have a basket full of goodies (and wine of course), and light a bunch of candles or spread rose pedals. InstaRomance ❤

In Home Dinner and a Movie – Turn on the Netflix, or pop in your favorite DVD for a nice Dine-In Home Theater experience.

Breakfast in Bed – Do I even need to explain this one? To make it Valentine’s Day or Anniversary approved be sure to have a self standing tray and a vase with a few roses.

Romantic Dinner (at home) – Going out to eat can get expensive, to save a few bucks but still show your affection, whip up a 3 course meal. You can even make your own “menu” with a listing of what is to be served. Be sure to have a beautiful place setting w/ centerpiece.

Cook Together – Some great dishes to prepare together are tacos, pizza, cupcakes, and cakes. These are awesome because you can lay out the ingredients and both of you can put your favorite toppings. Hey maybe a steamy food fight will break out

WRITE IT OUT

HoneyDo Coupons – This is an old favorite, but it works. Simple redeemable coupons for your boyfriend or girlfriend to use when they want. Some coupon ideas can be sweet or spicy *wink, wink*, just remember to put “COUPONS CAN ONLY BE USED ONCE”.

Love Notes – Little post it notes with cute and encouraging messages. The trick is to hide these notes in a wallet, jacket pocket, or other surprising, frequently looked at spots. Another cute idea is to stick love notes EVERYWHERE! whether it be all over a room, laptop screen, or door; a flood of love will always be well received.

Love Letter – It may sound cheesy, but an honest and heartfelt letter can mean so much.

Craft It!

Pictures – Compile all of your favorite pix with your honey and get them printed. Then put it together in a nice collage.

Online Videos – Put together a “Our Relationship in 1minute” video on youtube. You can add pictures and videos and if you two have “a song” have that playing in the background. Nostalgia is such a sentimental touch.

Music – Maybe I am old school, but as a lover of music, it means the world to me when someone remembers all my favorite songs. Put together a nice little playlist of love songs, or your partner’s favorite songs.

…

Some of my fondest memories with my BF are cute thoughtful things he has done for me that did not take a lot of money. There are probably millions of other great ideas out there BUT no one knows better than you what you and your boo are into. So get off the computer and think about what makes him/her smile. If you have any inexpensive ideas I did not list, LET ME KNOW! Drop a comment in the box with your affordable idea.