1.6 Million (And Counting!) Pledge To Vote For Jesus Over Negro And Mormon WH Candidates

Towards the end of the year, you often hear, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” but some have apparently made the call to embody the sentiment a wee bit sooner than usual.

Case in point: 1.6 million folks have pledged to cast their ballots for neither President Obama nor Mitt Romney and, instead, plan on voting for Jesus.

Yes, Jesus, although it’s currently unclear whether God or the Holy Spirit will be written in as Christ’s running mate.

Who would be crazy enough to essentially waste their vote in such an all too important presidential election? Evangelical Christians, of course.

Why so surly about their choices? In their eyes, Obama is nothing more than a secret Allah-loving socialist who wants to help them buy health insurance and has the nerve to be Black while trying to do so. Meanwhile, Romney is the second-worst thing right behind being Black and left of center on sparse occasions: a Mormon.

Writer Bruce Wilson explains that after evangelist Billy Graham earned “epic fail” honors after a not so great pitch to Protestant evangelical voters to lend support to the first ever Mormon Republican presidential contender, evangelist Bill Keller of the Internet ministry liveprayer.com passionately wrote in all caps: “CHRISTIANS MUST TAKE A STAND AND SAY ‘NO’ TO SATAN THIS NOVEMBER!!!”

What’s the alternative? Keller declared: “Vote for Jesus!”

So far, more than a million of the fold have pledged to do so. Yes, take a gander over at voteforjesus.com and you’ll see that 1,646,680 and growing are voting for civilization’s most famous sandal wearer.

The site overall is quite the cackle:

It is time for Christians, true followers of Jesus Christ, to rise up and say NO to satan this November! As I prophetically shared last November, if God allowed the upcoming election for President to be between President Obama and Mitt Romney, it would truly be satan flipping a two-headed coin with his head on both sides!

On Obama:

If President Obama is re-elected, his anti-American, socialist policies will continue, as will his attacks on Christianity and Christian churches. He will continue to support abortion, homosexuality, the enemies of Israel. How can a true follower of Christ vote in good conscience for a man who has proven to be a true enemy of God and His Word and will continue to be so in his next term?

On Romney:

If Mitt Romney is elected, he will be the fulfillment of his cult’s polygamist, pedophile, racist, con artist, murdering founder Joseph Smith’s “White Horse” prophecy that Romney and all Mormon’s believe. That prophecy says that the United States will facing great economic and social unrest, a Mormon will be elected President, declare a national emergency and set aside the US Constitution and enact a Mormon theocracy. That may sound impossible, but ever since he was at BYU, Romney was called by his inner circle “the chosen one” to fulfill their cult’s prophecy.

I suppose that’s one way to look at it. Another is,”What the hell?”

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Neither candidate is exactly walking around saying “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled.” Though the right-leaning one (Mr. Mittens) sure has used language to describe people who feel that way as government leeches. If you’re all about Jesus and his beliefs –i.e. helping the poor –how hard is it to decide that you should probably vote for the one less inclined to demonize them?

Keller goes on to declare: “WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED OR SILENT ANY LONGER!!!” As if this brand of crazy ever shuts up.

Maybe this group’s “Vote For Jesus” pledge will outshine the people who write in Scooby Doo and Gucci Mane for president. In any case, Keller’s campaign makes me question whether Internet usage should be granted only to those who pass a psychological evaluation.

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer and blogger. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick