Yesterday we shared with you the story of a Kontinental Hockey League defenseman who accidentally got his carotid artery slashed when he fell to the ice and someone tried to jump over his neck with blades on their feet. Today’s KHL clip (because the NHL is never coming back and we’ve got to talk about something) features a Dynamo Minsk goalie’s epic fail, and proves that KHL hockey beheadings can be figurative as well as literal.

If you can’t read that, it says, “Goalie Kevin Lalande gives up a goal on a shot from the neutral zone that was barely a shot at all, and oh my God you guys, seriously, I could’ve waddled out there without skates or pads and stopped that shot”. I’m paraphrasing.

So, yeah … KHL goaltending. We don’t want to say it’s slightly inferior, but a quick FYI to any NHL players thinking about heading there during the lockout: Sergei Mozyakin is the League’s all-time goals leader with 109.

Personally, I’m looking forward to an entire season of wacky KHL news. I’ve already ordered my favorite team’s jersey! It’s a potato sack with the word HOCKY [sic] written across the front in blue ink pen. It represents every team.

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if you do your homework on KHL goaltending, BS, there’s a goldmine of terrible goaltending giving up goals from extreme ends of the ice. It’s about a bi-weekly occurrence, and it’s never a let-down. Consider it slut-shaming, on ice.