While one man is claiming that he shot Bigfoot, another is demanding police bust the ‘squatch for vandalism.

Anthony Padilla of Breckendridge, Mich. wants the Midland police to help prove the existence of Bigfoot. When he came to the police station last week he had already done the detective work and was armed with evidence of Bigfoot’s existence on his property in Michigan, including photos, empty pizza boxes, some dirt and alleged Bigfoot scat, according to a report from the Midland County Sheriff’s Office obtained by The Huffington Post. In the incident report, Deputy Thomas Anderson said Padilla asked that the food boxes and scat be tested for DNA.

“He was kindly told that DNA processing is only used for serious crimes and that bigfoot is not a suspect in any criminal activity,” Anderson wrote. “I explained that scat would not contain DNA, and he was reminded that MSP (Michigan State Police) won’t process it.”

After an encounter with what he believed was a hunter in a ghillie suit (TMYK!) on his property turned into a spiritual experience, 52-year old Padilla is now adamant in his belief that Bigfoot is living on his property. “I got to confront this guy I was a little nervous. He was all huge like a basketball player mixed with a wrestler football type size,” said Padilla in the video above. “He started getting blurry, he started getting fuzzy, I started to see antlers starting to evolve and boom he turned around and gave me a vision of a white deer’s tale of two hooves jumping away from me trying to forget what I have seen.”

Padilla now scatters pizza boxes around his property in the hopes of luring Bigfoot back. His interest in the Sasquatch isn’t purely academic, though. Padilla apparently told the Midland police that he wanted them to verify his claim so that he could win a $10 million cash prize from reality show 10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty. Sadly, Midland County Sheriff Scott Stephenson told The Huffington Post they will not be taking any further action on Padilla’s request.

Wait. Does his Bigfoot eat pizza boxes, pizza, or both? At least this tale is colorful and fun, and it could be true, although I’m not sure that kid is capable of handling something like this by himself.

““He started getting blurry, he started getting fuzzy, I started to see antlers starting to evolve and boom he turned around and gave me a vision of a white deer’s tale of two hooves jumping away from me trying to forget what I have seen.”

Then, I became convinced he might have a mental issue or be on some drugs.

Gentlemen, this is what happens when so many people leave the work force, then cease to actively seek employment and decide instead to seek Bigfoot – because it sure sounds like fun and it sure beats working. Is there anything more convenient than a shape-shifting spirit to explain why one has no proof to verify one’s claims. The scat would point towards this entity being more of a “shape-shitter”…sorry.