Elimination (Hypoallergenic) Diet Journal

28 December, 2009

Why Gene Simmons is awesome

Let me just break it down for you, when you think of celebrities that are normal, you don't generally think of the ones that have their own reality TV series, Gene Simmons' Family Jewels.

Firstly, Gene is a jew, and was born Chaim Witz. He could have chose any name to change to: Max Power, I.C.Weiner, Hue Gem Ucles? He chose the name Gene. Now, not only is that the gayest name ever for a man in a rock band, 90% of old ladies are named Gene. If that is not awesome, I don't even know how to argue my point stronger.

Speaking of names, he didn't name his kids Apple, Moses, Germany, Sparrow, or some other type of reptile species, he named his kids Nick and Sophie. Those are the most normal names ever. None of this pesudo-better than you celebrity mindset. If a kid can't part the sea, you can't name him moses, and if the kid want's regular uber wedgies until he is 18, you name him Sparrow.

The family just seems real. Gene is actually portrayed and represented in such a fantastic light, it's like he's such a normal guy with a stage presence, not a super-douche with a fake smile. He seems like he actually loves his family, and he loves his dog Snippy. Men who like animals are generally not strange. Except if he has like, 23 rats and trains them in his basement. And if his name is Willard...anyway.

Oh, gene may look like a shar-pei dog with his head out of a car window doing 160km on the highway but his kids are gorg. I could get arrested for saying this because I don't know if Nick is over 18 or not, but he is sexy. Sexy like an over-18 kind of way. Actually he kind of looks like Angus Young in that photo. Creepy... with his Jude Law scarf and his wild unruly hair.

Regardless, Gene is someone who I can picture myself being friends with, and in my mind we are friends. He tweets me what he's doing so I can show up and meet him in his maximum security mansion, and forgot my name and who I was so he couldn't help when I'm yelling don't taze me bro to his security guards.