Saturday, March 05, 2011

Irony so rich it makes Bob Perry look like a pauper

A proposed immigration law being cast in jest across the country as a way for Texans to rid the work force of illegal immigrants while protecting their low-paid nannies and gardeners drew serious concern Thursday from advocates who fear the bill could have a chilling effect across the state.

Rep. Debbie Riddle's House Bill 1202 calls for two years in jail and up to $10,000 fines for people who "intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly" hire unauthorized immigrants. Specifically exempted: Laborers relegated to "work to be performed exclusively or primarily at a single-family residence."

Hereafter known as the 'laundry loophole'.

Riddle is already nationally renowned for her idiocy. She made a fool of herself on Anderson Cooper's program last year when she was unable to defend her premise that Middle Eastern parents were flying to the US to give birth, thus creating citizens who would then be indoctrinated in terrorism, i.e. "terror babies" -- an illogical extension of the already-terrifying-to-conservatives 'anchor baby'. You may also recall she was previously known as "Pit-of-Hell" Riddle for saying this.

Debbie "Laundry Loophole" Riddle. Debbie "Terror Babies" Riddle. Debbie "Pit-of-Hell" Riddle. That's a lot of nicknames to have earned in a short time.

And these are just the things she says in public. Anyway ...

Riddle, a Tomball Republican, said she didn't expect some of the national reaction to the legislation.

"I'm not very politically correct most of the time. I'm not too good at it," she said. "What I'm trying to do is inject common sense into government. I'm finding out that's not too easy."

In an ideal world, Riddle said no one would hire illegal immigrants. But she said she included the exception because homeowners don't have access to E-verify, the federal Internet-based system that allows businesses to determine the eligibility of their employees to work in the United States.

"The reason that we have, in my opinion, so many folks coming over here illegally is because businesses sort of put a big ol' bowl of candy in the middle of the room and say 'If you can get across the border and through the door then you've got plenty of candy, a job, entitlements, and if you bear children they'll be citizens,' " she said. "What we need to do is remove the big bowl of candy. It's unfair to the taxpayers of Texas to carry the burden."

No more candy for you, Ill Eagles. You've been freeloading far too long. How dare you try to escape grinding poverty and/or murder at the hands of the drug cartels for the chance to die in the desert, or in a crammed tractor trailer, in exchange for the privilege of earning ten dollars a day washing dishes or mowing yards?

Which points out that one of those jobs will be legal if Debbie gets her bill passed.

Doesn't she realize that all of the cooks and busboys are going to quit their jobs and hire on as day laborers and lawn maintenance workers and nannies? Who's going to make the enchiladas? Our favorite restaurants will all be closing because they won't be able to afford to pay minimum wage to the staff they will have to replace.

"House Bill 1202 has just really created an uproar in our community," said Laura Murillo, president of the Houston Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. Riddle "makes an exception for those that might clean her own house or take care of her children. If you can't read between those lines, I don't know what lines you can read between."

Murillo called the bill inhumane and other advocates suggested that it could have serious civil rights ramifications for people of all races and immigration statuses.

"It has an element of 'as long as you know your place,' " said Clarissa Martinez De Castro, director of immigration for the National Council of La Raza.

But remember, conservatives aren't taking this action out of hate-filled anger or even bigotry. They understand exactly what the noble representative is doing.

Staunch conservatives said they wish individuals had access to E-verify so that the exception for domestic workers wasn't needed.

"It's too bad she made that exception," said Paul Smith, vice president of the Tomball Tea Party. "But I'm for it. I think illegal aliens are doing a tremendous damage to our country."

See? Makes perfect sense to a Tea Bagger.

But there's the simple solution right there: make E-Verify available to the public. Everyone who hires a guy in front of Home Depot, or a lady to clean their house can quickly and easily check their citizenship beforehand. That's the ticket.

For that matter maybe we should just round up all the Ill Eagles and use them to build the wall at the Rio Grande. For nothing, of course. They've been compensated enough already, right?

Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez said that if additional legislation proposed by Riddle and her colleagues to round up the undocumented in Texas passed, it would put between 4,000 to 20,000 additional inmates in her jail, carrying an additional cost of more than $1.2 million.

El Paso County Sheriff Richard Wiles, one of the most outspoken opponents of the myriad immigration-related bills this session, said Riddle’s bill could drain his coffers and max out the capacity of his jail. He said more of his jail's spots would be taken up by state inmates — meaning he'd have to forgo the more lucrative federal detainees that help keep his budget in the black.