Even if all the heavens were parchment, and all the forests quills,
If all the oceans were INK, as well as every gathered water,
If all the earth's inhabitants were scribes and recorders of INITIALS....

Friday, February 22, 2013

Simchat Banot -- Liav and Tagel

Friday morning, 22 February 2013
י"ב אדר תשע"ג

INK:

Our daughters were born last Thursday afternoon, and so I was still
in the maternity ward on Shabbat parshat Teruma. As I do whenever I cannot make
it to shul, I leyned the parsha aloud, this time while sitting in my hospital
bed with the bassinets of our two daughters on either side of me. The hospital
bassinets are essentially rectangular transparent plastic cases containing
mattresses resting on a cart with wheels, and so I could observe my daughters
at all times. As newborns are wont, they lay with their hands above their
heads, each one looking towards the other and hence facing me as well as I
taught them about the building of the Mishkan. I smiled when I came to the
description of the two planks supporting the corners of the tabernacle, which
are supposed to be To’amim, matching – a word I accidentally misread as
Te’omim, twins. But the pasuk that most resonated for me was the description of
the Keruvim on either side of the Kaporet: (24:20).

As I watched my two angelic daughters face towards one another with
their arms swaying above their heads, I felt myself in that most holy of holy
places between the Keruvim, where the divine presence communicated with the
people of Israel (25:22):

The space between the Keruvim was the point of contact between the
divine and the human. For me, the experience of giving birth to our twin
daughters also afforded rare and intimate access to the divine, the Boreh Olam,
creator of all living things. As I lay in the hospital between my two daughters
leyning parshat Teruma, I was reminded that the Mishkan offered a new way of
meeting God in the world and a new avenue for religious expression, which are
gifts that our daughters offer us as well.

The Torah teaches
that the faces of the Keruvim were turned toward one another. To my astonishment,
this is also how Liav and Tagel sleep. Ever since we returned from the
hospital, we have been placing them side-by-side in our pack-and-play crib.
Regardless of how we position them, within a few moments they always turn their
heads towards one another. Sometimes one baby opens her eyes and peers intently
at her sister; other times they look into each other’s eyes before sinking into
sleep. But they are almost always facing one another, each somehow reassured
and calmed by the presence of her sister. We can only hope that this is how
they will go through the rest of their lives, turning to one another in
friendship, support, reassurance, and love.

The image of
angelic presences speaks to me on another level as well. This past week, Daniel
and I spent many intense hours trying to name our daughters. In so doing, we
were reminded of a midrash about Jacob’s
struggle with the angel in Parshat Vayishlach. Jacob asks the angel his name:

הגידה נא שמך

And the angel responds:

למה זה תשאל לשמי

The midrash in Breishit Rabba connects this verse to another
encounter between a human and angel that appears in Sefer Shoftim: Shimshon’s
father Manoach asks the angel his wife has encountered for the angel’s name,
and the angel responds:

למה זה
תשאל לשמי והוא פלאי

The midrash explains that angels change their names based on the
particular mission they are sent to accomplish at any given moment. And so I
imagine that in choosing a name for our daughters, we are also in some sense
charging them with a unique mission in the world. I have felt this past week
that so long as our daughters were still unnamed, every mission remained open
to them. I imagined thousands of winged angels hovering over us, each
representing a different name we might choose, and each angel beating its wings
in hopeful anticipation that perhaps that angel might be the one whose mission
matches the name we choose for our child. This amassing of angelic presences may
explain why the first week of a newborn child’s life is such a time of intense
connection to an otherworldly realm. The moment our daughters are named—like
the moment when the box with Schroedinger’s cat is opened—all the angels fly
off, leaving just two, one for each of our girls.

Perhaps the two
angels who remained were the same angels that accompanied the namesakes of each
of our daughters, Daniel’s father and my maternal grandmother. My Savta Gilla
Rubin, for whom Tagel is named, was a vibrant, headstrong woman who grew up in
Brooklyn but spent her entire adult life as the rebbetzin at the Wantagh Jewish
Center on Long Island. Still, the place in the world where she was happiest was
Yerushalayim, where she and my Zaidy spent many sabbaticals attending parshat
hashavua shiurim just as Daniel and I love to do. Together they took their
children on their first family trip here in June 1967, where Savta enjoyed
showing off her Biblical Hebrew in all the most modern contexts. Having grown up with Zionist Hebraist parents
and grandparents, Hebrew was, in fact, her first language. I was fortunate to
share with her a love not just of Hebrew, but also of crossword puzzles and literary novels – I always knew
which books were hers because she wrote in pen in the margins (I only dare use
pencil) and because the pages were pervaded by her distinctive perfume which I
can still smell to this day, exactly 18 years and one week after her death. We
hope Tagel will draw from her spirit and embody her strength, her vibrancy, her
love of language and literature and her attachment to the Jewish people.

DBF:

My father,
Chuck Feldman, alav hashalom, would have rejoiced at this simcha, and
his absence, which we feel so keenly today, is all that impinges on this
wonderful occasion. A consummate family man, he knew that every simcha must be
celebrated to the fullest. Our girls are the first grandchildren born to the
family since our Saba left us, and so it is appropriate that the first of our
daughters, Liav, bears a name that pays tribute to his memory. Li-av. To me my
father was a model of commitment to family, community, and Am Yisrael. A
devoted physician, he was also a leader of the Jewish community in northern New
Jersey, especially in the realm of Torah education. He was a trusted advisor
whose empathy and concern for others made him beloved to so many. He was a
wonderful, charming man, and he relished every moment with his family. As my
mother, may she live ad meah v'esrim, holds our beautiful Liav before
us, we feel dad's bracha upon us. Along with Ilana's Savta Gilla and our other
departed grandparents, Zaidy Mel Rubin, Grandma Betty and Grandpa Joe Feldman,
Baba Sally and Zaidie Isak Levenstein, Dad is surely looking down upon us from
the yeshiva shel ma'ala, smiling his radiant smile with his characteristic
twinkle in his eye, as we welcome these two angelic girls into the family he
was so proud to build. To quote the words of the Megilla which we will read
next week, it is our tefilla that זִכְרו לֹא יָסוּף מִזַּרְעו.

It is also my
happy lot in these days of Purim to offer words of shevach and hoda'a for all
those responsible for this mishte v'simcha.

First to our
parents, whose love and support accompanies us at every step as our family
grows. My mom, Baba, arrived with her impeccable timing and inimitable grace
just as our twins were born. Mom, you are always selfless in offering to do
anything and everything on our behalf, including buying now a second crib for
our home. You instill in us a sense of gratitude for all that we are blessed to
experience. Ilana's parents, Savta and Saba Kurshan, have been our neighbors
for the past few weeks, helping us prepare for the twins' arrival, caring for
Matan, and offering all kinds of help, love, and support with characteristic
good cheer and attention to detail. Thank you for all you have done for us
during this special period, including reading the name dictionary that one last
time. We are so pleased to celebrate with all of you, and we extend our love to
the proud great grandparents in Princeton New Jersey, Grandma Phyllis and
Grandpa Jerry Kurshan.

We also
recognize the endless generosity of my sister, Estie Agus, who, along with
Elizur, and their adorable children, are extraordinary role models of chessed.
Estie sends us food, clothes, babysitters, and everything we could possibly
need. Liav and Tagel, prepare to be spoiled. As Matan has already discovered,
you will quickly learn that visiting your cousins in Raanana is our family’s
equivalent of Disneyland – if not Gan Eden.

We are also
deeply grateful to our other siblings, including Mindy, who was here with us
last Shabbat, and Naamit, who spent hours and hours in late-night phone
consultations about matters medical and nomenclatural. Michael and Nira, Joe
and Dana, Mindy and Eric, Naamit and Michael, Ariella and Leo, Eytan – we feel
your love from afar, and we can’t wait to introduce you to your nieces.

Finally, to
Ilana, I can only express my endless love and admiration. Everyone here knows
how remarkable a woman you are, but only the children and I witness the full
force of your creative genius day to day. You brought these beautiful girls into
the world with determination, intensity, and even your characteristic wit -- who
else would have been offering divrei torah in the delivery room between
contractions to the nurses, the midwife and the anesthesiologist? With the
blessed arrival of these two babies wrapped up in their little scrolls, may it
be said that we commit our love to each other anew: קיימו
מה שקיבלו כבר. It is the
supreme privilege of my life to be your husband, partner, and father to our
children.

Thank you all
for joining us today. Chag Purim Sameach, enjoy the seudat Hodaya, and Mazal
tov.SABBA NEIL:

It was an Et
Ratzon, a propitious moment, when we had the privilege ofbeing in the hospital with Ilana and Daniel
as Ilana gave birth to thesetwo beautiful babies whom we are namingtoday. These girls were welcomed into a
roomthat was Tzahalah v’samecha—a room ringing
with joyous cries.These children
are named today during the week we read ParashatTetzaveh. The Parasha this week continues
to address the details of theMishkan—this week not so much the construction of the Mishkan but ratherthe roles of the
Kohanim and specifically the details of the clothingthey were to wear when serving in the
Mishkan.

Ktzat muzar--it
is a little strange that the Parasha spends so muchtime on the external garments of the Kohanim.
Normally in Judaism wefocus
not so much on the exterior features of a person—we don’tconcentrate on their appearance or the clothes
they wear but rather onthe integrity and purity that defines their souls and character. We are moreconcerned for the
purity of the soul than the cleanliness of theclothes. But there is an expression “that
clothes make theman”--
or perhaps it is more appropriate to say today that clothes make the
woman.These tiny girls were born into
the world without any outer garments or possessions—just two naked bodies
squirming and crying b’simcha u-v’sa-son--as they made the passage from the
world of the womb into theroom of the world.

But from the
moment of their birth these two babies began the process ofindividuation that will continue throughout
their lives. One was bornfirst; the other was born second. One with blond hair; the other withbrown. One seemed pensive; the other
active. Today the names thatIlana and Daniel give to these girls will further define them.

Each name is an
external garment that dresses each of these girls in the clothing of their
individuality.As twins part of their
challenge in life will be not only to uncover their distinctiveness, but also
to distinguish themselves from each
another.

But it is not
only their names which will define them during their lives.It is also their parents who will shape
who they will become. Thesegirls have been born to parents who share a love of Torah, a passion forliterature and a
respect for history. They have been born to parentswho have chosen to build their lives in
Israel and to raise theirchildren in the homeland of the Jewish people. They have born assisters to their
brother, Matan, who so far has been very gentle andloving toward them. They have been born into
two families, the Kurshansand the Feldmans who come from a lineage of study, learning and AhavatYisrael. I know I
speak for Alisa and Rella when I say how privileged we are tobe here as grandparents during these weeks
and to share thebeginning of these girls’ lives. And I know,
Daniel, you will tell yourchildren the stories about your father so they will know the fullrichness of their
inheritance.

And lastly
these children will be defined by their community. Asidefrom the time Alisa and I have been able
to spend with you, Ilana andDaniel, and with your children, it has also been wonderful for us tomeet so many of your
friends and to come to know the personal andprofessional communities of which you are a part. You
will never haveto
raise your children alone because there is indeed a village of yourfriends here who will
support you. We have been touched, as I knowboth of you have been, by the overflowing good wishes of
all your friendsand
colleagues as well as by their concrete offers of help. We knowthat your children will always be surrounded
by an abundance of theirpeers. Theirs will never be the only stroller pushed through thestreets of Jerusalem;
rather they will be surrounded by the strollersof so many other children that fill
the streets of this city.

So these two
girls born naked into the world have already been adornedin the garments of our tradition. We know
these girls will grow upenveloped by the teachings of our texts and the music of our Masoret.Today you begin to
dress and address them by their names. You wrap them in your love as their parents. You clothe them in thecare of their
grandparents, your friends, and your community. You crownthese girls with the adornment of their
Jewish inheritance. May thegarments that they wear be like the garments of the ancientKohanim--clothing
l’khavod ul-tif-ah-ret-- garments that
adorn thesegirls
in dignity and radiance.

המלאך הגואל אותי מכל רע יברך את הנערות

May your
daughters always following in the footsteps of the angels whowill guide their lives. May they always be
a blessing to their familiesand to their community. May God
watch over them and protect them.May God bless these girls so that they will both become
an adornment anda
crown l’kol am Yisrael--to the entire community of Israel.