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[...] I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

You won't believe how true this is and not just for kids, like my English teacher, she explained the meaning of 'pervert' as someone who is gay or effeminate =_=

On the topic of straight acting gays... I don't really think I can judge people by how they behave. I personally think that, while your sexuality does affect your behaviour, behaviour doesn't necessarily have to conform to a stereotype.
On the other hand, when guys (straight acting or straight) really go out of the way to prove their masculinity, it just shows how insecure they are.
For gay guys to do that, it is almost like being closeted.
I've had people tell me to stop acting gay, and to control my hand gestures because that is effeminate (back when I was closeted). It just isn't worth it, feels miserable to stop yourself from behaving in a way that you feel is natural.

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.

hello, i would like to join. i guess you can call me genderqueer as i set my gender here as "male" instead of "female"... but that was a decision made on random. i'm not really genderqueer; just pansexual.

anyway...How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

hnnh. no.
i think personality has nothing to do with sexuality. so what if a gay man acts "straight" (i'm even surprised that this term can be interchanged with the term "masculine"), or effeminate? although i do understand that, since most gay men act effeminate, those who aren't [effeminate] want to free themselves from this stereotype; it can't be helped if people make assumptions about you with their only basis being your sexuality.

Location: A few miles away from a well-known college in a poorly known town.

Age: 20

Gender:
Male

Nature: Impish

Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:

Welcome to Saturday's Child and Rednael!

Saturday's Child, I lol'd very hard at "I'm all gay and stuff" XD

I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.

Ugh! That reminded me of an essay that I remembered reading in my English book on whether or not the legalization of gay marriage would be a good thing for the gay community. It touched on that. I tried finding it real quick this morning, but I ran out of time and could only find the essay from a few sketchy sources -.-

I prefer masculine men, but I don't like when they use the phrase "straight-acting".
I also do not like when they put down other gay men that are "effeminant" or transgender people. Basically the guys that put down everyone else to make themselves look more normative and acceptable.

But yeah, being masculine and accepting of all type of other LBGT people is completely fine, and is a turn-on. And as far as friends go, I don't like hanging out with other gay guys that feel the need to scrutinize other's sexuality and behaviors, because it just shows how negative and insecure they are.

__________________

Don't be a rotten apple!
Check-out my Forbitten to see the latest developments in the Kenbi Region!

Side note:
I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.

Edit: Don't Ask Don't Tell was officially repealed at 12:01 AM today. Enjoy this image of a man who can finally stop lying about who he is and still defend his country.

With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

Haha, thanks people! To the topic on hand, I agree with -ty- that gay guys who assert their masculinity like that are pretty much a turn-off, although not always. It can sometimes be attractive having such a manly vibe to them... Yowsers ;3 Even so, effeminate guys do it more for me, it's a mixture of their bodies and their behaviour... They almost seem to need someone rather than want someone - if that makes sense. Of course that's a huge generalisation, but I'm mainly talking from the experience of guys I've met and how they've acted. I don't think there's any real reason to act like that unless it's who you actually are, but it's certainly never okay to make fun of others for their personalities.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

Being not gay myself, I obviously would have to draw the line somewhere. As far as the going to a gay bar, I would have to make it clear that I am only there for moral support, that I am straight, and that I am already in a relationship. With the Mardi Gras parade, I would do that, too, no question. As far as where would I draw the line... if they start to get "into it," I'm leaving the room.

Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.

Yeah, kids are just ignorant about lots of things so I wouldn't be too upset if they're ignorant about... anything. I bet you could ask them about what heterosexual couples are or something like that and you'd get lots of weird and incorrect answers there, too.

And DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) is gone now in America. I guess that's good news. I don't personally care much about the military and don't know anyone in it so it's not as meaningful to me as something like a repeal of DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) would be. And while I'm throwing out acronyms I'll just mention how ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) ought to become law here in the States even though I'm lucky to be in one of the states that already bans discrimination based on orientation and identity and it wouldn't change things for me, but at least others, especially those living in the not-as-good parts of the country would get that protection.

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

Shining Raichu sort of brought this up, how there's a general vibe around the gay community to show the world that "hey, we're just like you" and that some people took this message to its extreme. I dunno, I won't judge someone for wanting to assimilate into the dominant culture if they want to. I just hope it's not because they feel they have to.

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

"Straight-acting" is an unfortunate term that refers to homosexual or bisexual men that simply don't act in a stereotypical "gay" way. They're not necessarily going out of their way to act that way. That's how the majority of guys who like guys are. They are being themselves.

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I don't know. It feels like they're mimicing the same behavior as a stereotypical effeminate gay man would. Doesn't make them any more attractive or acceptable in behavior in my eyes. They just need to chill & not let society dictate who they should be. Although I have to be honest, I've never run into this type of person.

I think that men that are gay and are masculine are great. I just don't like when they PROCLAIM themselves as being "straight-acting". I understand that they do not want to be known for having stereotypical gay traits, but I also see it as an insecurity, and SOMETIMES as sign of disrespect for other LGBT individuals. I am masculine and I am not "straight-acting" - I am gay (no acts attached). I actually used act like feminine gay men and transgender people were beneath me in a sense; that was a long time ago. I just think that we as minorities like to throw someone else under the bus, after we have been throw under it. Now, I don't need to assert that I am anymore masculine than anyone else, nor do I think that I should be cautious of hanging out with someone if they appear to possess feminine qualities - it's so hypocritical. Also, I am less insecure of who I am. Although this is my personal anecdote, I think many others have shown their insecurities in a similar fashion.

__________________

Don't be a rotten apple!
Check-out my Forbitten to see the latest developments in the Kenbi Region!

Location: A few miles away from a well-known college in a poorly known town.

Age: 20

Gender:
Male

Nature: Impish

Quote originally posted by -ty-:

I think that men that are gay and are masculine are great. I just don't like when they PROCLAIM themselves as being "straight-acting". I understand that they do not want to be known for having stereotypical gay traits, but I also see it as an insecurity, and SOMETIMES as sign of disrespect for other LGBT individuals. I am masculine and I am not "straight-acting" - I am gay (no acts attached). I actually used act like feminine gay men and transgender people were beneath me in a sense; that was a long time ago. I just think that we as minorities like to throw someone else under the bus, after we have been throw under it. Now, I don't need to assert that I am anymore masculine than anyone else, nor do I think that I should be cautious of hanging out with someone if they appear to possess feminine qualities - it's so hypocritical. Also, I am less insecure of who I am. Although this is my personal anecdote, I think many others have shown their insecurities in a similar fashion.

I used to be a bit of a bully when I was younger ^-^' I'd pick fights all the time while I was in elementary school and I'd pester the special needs kid who was in my class. Twas mad and everything and I was never particularly popular. After a while I just started feeling bad about it and I changed. So I guess I already went down that path I'm not planning on hating anyone now except for my sister and my mother of whom I give myself permission to hate.

As for the topic of how far you would go... well... I've been really asking for a lot of help from friends lately xD So I don't really see myself right now as the type of person who'd be able to "help" anyone, but maybe it'd be nice to help a guy together as buddies :3 Though that type of plotline usually ends up... @-@

Welcome, Pikapal642, of course you can join! To be honest I thought you'd already joined haha - there are so many people now!

As for the topic, I think those who go out of their way to proclaim that they're straight acting probably deserve some compassion. I think it means that they're having a harder time with the whole gay thing than those who don't feel the need to do so, and we should be mindful of that. Most of the time it's not easy to accept oneself as gay, so they're doing what they can to feel like this doesn't change who they are and they're overcompensating. I'm sure this isn't a life-long behaviour, they just need time to grow happier with who they are as a person.

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Currently, I could give two [ohmycensorships] about if anyone considers me masculine or effeminate, but I'm more masculine so.... yeah. That's cool. I like it that way. :3

But before, I was totally one of those insecure guys. But I've learned just to not care. And I say that with the upmost emphasis on exasperation. Masculinity and being manly isn't everything, and you know what? What's me is me and I have better things to do then freak out about something as silly as masculinity.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

To the point where if I wasn't interested in them, I would make sure our relationship was purely platonic and understgood mutally to be such.

If the tables were flipped though, I wouldn't ask a straight guy.... actually, I don't know. I have a couple of straight guy friends who would probably take of their shirt and dance.

But most likely I'd take my best friend, most likely female, for moral support. No weird "should we be advancing romantically" feelings that way. Or better yet, a boyfriend if I had one!

Welcome, Pikapal642, of course you can join! To be honest I thought you'd already joined haha - there are so many people now!

As for the topic, I think those who go out of their way to proclaim that they're straight acting probably deserve some compassion. I think it means that they're having a harder time with the whole gay thing than those who don't feel the need to do so, and we should be mindful of that. Most of the time it's not easy to accept oneself as gay, so they're doing what they can to feel like this doesn't change who they are and they're overcompensating. I'm sure this isn't a life-long behaviour, they just need time to grow happier with who they are as a person.

I think some people are just afraid, either because of their own issues, or afraid of what others will think of them. All comes to people judging and perceiving others. D; I think a lot of people who are of the LGBT group go through a point where they try to be something they're not.

Feels like I jumped around between all the letters in the title of this thread before I was actually okay with accepting things. xD;
For awhile it say "MAYBE I'M STRAIGHT. MAYBE I'M GAY. OR WAIT MAYBE I'M ASEXUAL. MAYBE I'M TRANSGENDER."
In the end, I'm a couple of things wrapped together and I've stopped labeling it, because I'm just myself.
Though, it took a lot of denial, and acting like someone I wasn't for some time to be able to get there.

As someone who has only come out of the closet to three people (my parents and one very understanding friend), I've spent a lot of time hiding my true self from people left I go through the same experience that happened when I came out to my parents. To be blunt, they did not take it well and practically disowned me.
I just want to wait until I'm not afraid to be judged by those around me who don't agree with my sexuality.

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