474th Friday Blog Roundup

by Mel

The Wolvog came downstairs frustrated because his friends have stopped playing Hay Day, and apparently, that has made it difficult for him to get butter. “I’ll download Hay Day,” I told him. “If you run the farm and do the work, you can use my farm to get whatever supplies you need.”

So I downloaded the farm and decided to do the most basic things to get it up and going so the Wolvog could start scavenging from it when he woke up in the morning. And… it will not surprise you to learn this… I fell in love.

First I fell in love with my chickens. Then I fell in love with my crops. Then I fell in love with the little bakery I set up and my brand new cow (I love this cow!). I spent an extraordinary amount of time making everything neat and pretty (plus collecting my eggs, milking my cow, planting and harvesting my crops, and visiting some stranger’s farm where he sold me an axe).

The Wolvog is going to be so disappointed when I turn on him like Bilbo with the ring and hiss that the farm is my precious and he better not touch my butter if he knows what’s good for him. He created a monster.

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So, what was your favourite thing you got for Christmas? As someone Jewish, I feel the need to ask this.

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Mikhail Kalashnikov died. I misread his name at first glance as Mikhail Baryshnikov. Heart attack (plus excessive time on YouTube watching ballet footage to calm down). After I recovered, I thought of one of my translation assignments in graduate school. I was translating a series of short stories, and one of them contained the term Kalashnikov. I didn’t know what this was, and I couldn’t find it in any dictionary. But it seemed like the object of this man’s affection, so I assumed that Kalashnikov was a male Russian immigrant that he was making love to based on the usage of male verb forms. And this is the story I wrote; one of an affair between the main character and Kalashnikov.

I gave the story to my professor. He returned it to me and said, “Melissa, what do you think a Kalashnikov is?”

“What is it? Don’t you mean who?”

“No, Melissa, I mean what. Because it is very apparent to me that you have no clue that a Kalashnikov is a gun.”

Uh… no, I didn’t.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

River Runs Dry has a post about seeing thestrals. Once she learned about the messiness of life, the non-Pinterest perfect worlds we inhabit, she couldn’t stop seeing the loss and the sadness and the disappointment and the frustration that lurk amid all the normal everyday moments. It is a sensation many have expressed in this community; about suddenly seeing infertility or loss when you never noticed it pre-diagnosis. But she says it in an incredibly perfect way.

Life as a Dad to Donor Insemination Kids has a post about parenting DI kids after divorce. I especially love the realization from his son: “We talked for a few minutes about how life can be complicated. Not sure how we came to referring to Donor, Dad, and StepDad but he recognized that no matter how many folks are out there always will be only one Dad.” It leaves room for a lot of people to play a role in your child’s life, with no single person detracting from the role of any other person.

Lastly, So Close has a post that she published now even though she wrote it a while back. It starts with a deeply honest and moving thought, “And then there is my secret, dark fear. That this is all I, we, deserve. Because I struggled so hard to have children, that having children with challenges is what I deserve. That ‘normal’* children are reserved for people who conceive easily and without help. ‘Normal’ families get to have “normal” children. People like me, families like mine, should just be happy with what we are and just shut up.” Though she knows this isn’t the case, and she waited to hit publish until she had time to process her child’s diagnosis, I’m glad she still sent the thoughts out there in case they resonate with someone else and make them feel less alone.

The roundup to the Roundup: I have a farm on Hay Day, and it’s miiiiiiiine. What did you get for Christmas? What Kalashnikov means. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 20th and December 27th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

My favorite Christmas gift was the baby stroller we got for my daughter. I know, not technically what you asked, and I did get some lovely gifts for which I am so grateful. However, this was the first year she understood and was excited about Santa. The only thing she asked for was a baby stroller for her dolls. Christmas always reminds me of the sad Christmas of 2009, right after our diagnosis but before we had any treatment plan, when I just knew I would never have these moments. Seeing her face walking down our stairs almost made me cry because she was just so happy.

She also picked out a snowman charm for a bracelet I have and I really love that also. Again, because I never imagined my husband would get the fun of taking his little girl out Christmas shopping.

I play Hay Day too…. For about a year now. One of my favorite time-wasters on my iPad besides Candy Crush. I will tell you it takes FOREVER to level up after you get past level 20. But that’s ok, because I get relaxation from tending to fields and filling the truck orders.

I did not, however, get chocolate candy cows in my Christmas stocking. Lol.

My favorite gift was my only gift, a new pair of skis. My first nice pair of downhill skis ever, so I’m really excited to go use them this winter! I’m curious about Hay Day, but not sure it’s a good idea for me to get sucked into something like that …

Believe it or not, my favorite gifts were clothes. I got a hoodie from a very popular (and local) clothing line, East Coast Lifestyle. My parents got me a new (and desperately needed) pair of boots and my inlaws got me an extremely comfy pair of pjs. I don’t have a big list of things I want or need, and what I want can’t be bought or given as a gift from someone, so these 3 things made my Christmas. Then tonight, for our Christmas exchange, my best friend gave me a homemade snowman plastic canvas and bought me Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas book because I mentioned in passing that its a book I always wanted but never got. That sorta made my night.

I have nothing to share post wise because my reader has been pretty dead all week.

My husband is hayday-ing all day long, I ask George ‘what is daddy doing?’ And he cheerfully replies ‘fa’ming, mummy, wid da cows and chick-chick-chicks!’. He made me play as well, because he needs tape and nails and screws and cheese and whatever. Strangely, it has not sucked me in as much as candy crush had. Although by now I am over cc, after 250 it’s gotten just ridiculous.
I expected to get a Rod Stewart concert ticket, but got HP ebooks, and i must confess, I am much happier about them.

Christmas this year was not about presents. (It rarely is, at my advanced age!) My husband and I have just returned from 5 months overseas, we’re currently unemployed, and so we didn’t exchange gifts. (Well, I found him a cute little TARDIS keyring, but it was unexpected and unnecessary.) And I’m gradually arranging with sisters and sisters-in-law that we don’t do gifts. Or not big ones. (Though of course I still do gifts for the nieces and nephews.) So my best gift was having everyone together, and second best gift was some money from mother-in-law which will give us another month of subsistence living! (Yes, I’m exaggerating about the subsistence living).

My boyfriend bought me an edition of Beezus and Ramona in its original text before they updated it. It was a used copy, but I love that he hunted around for one at the used bookstores. It was probably the first chapter book that spoke to me on another level as a young reader.

Thanks for sharing the post by River Runs Dry. No Kidding in NZ had a post along a similar theme. If we lean into our loss, we can take up the good from a difficult situation from experiencing loss, which may open us up to be able to be more compassionate towards others.

The best thing I got for Christmas I actually ordered for myself but instead of opening it when it arrived, I asked my mom to wrap it & give it to me from Elena. It’s an iPhone case I ordered from walmart. I didn’t have very high expectations since it only cost $20 but it is really nice & the photo I choose of Elena for it really suits perfectly, I was pleasantly surprised!

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Who is Mel?

Melissa, otherwise known as Mel, The Stirrup Queen, and most recently nicknamed Lollipop Goldstein, has been blogging since 2006. In addition to STIRRUP QUEENS, she also writes the daily Lost and Found (LFCA). She also writes for BlogHer. You can join her on StumbleUpon. She's known to Twitter about her wonky ovaries.