The Dunkirk spirit really is alive and well

Just in case the election hasn't turned out the way you'd hoped, here's a story to warm the cockles. It is an inspirational tale of triumph over perversity, heartening proof that bureaucratic intransigence can be beaten.

What follows is the culmination of a determined ten-year campaign to erect a permanent memorial to the crews of the small ships which took part in the evacuation of Dunkirk in 1940.

A former merchant seaman, John Everett, who lives on the River Thames, wanted to honour the achievement of Douglas Tough, a boat builder, who commandeered more than 100 vessels and led them across the Channel to rescue British troops trapped on the beaches.

He had hoped to do this to mark the 60th anniversary of the evacuation in the year 2000. The plaque was to be unveiled at Teddington Lock, close to the Tough family boatyard.

It was to be headed: 'Second World War' and would have read: 'This operation was called Dynamo. It saved our country, enabling us to go on to victory in 1945.'

But when Mr Everett submitted his plans to the Environment Agency, the quango responsible for Britain's waterways, they were rejected on the grounds that the wording was both inappropriate and offensive.

A jobsworth called CJ Woodward, who described himself as 'Recreation
officer', said any reference to 'war' or 'victory' would not be
allowed. He particularly objected to 'Second World War', which he cons
idered ' not acceptable'.

When Mr Everett protested that the inscription was both factually and historically accurate, CJ countered that it could cause offence to foreigners, since: 'Teddington is an important arrival point from foreign ports'. No, it isn't.

When was the last time a cruise ship carrying hundreds of German tourists, still smarting over the defeat of Hitler, docked at Teddington, which is 68 miles inland and can be reached only through a complex system of locks?

'Inappropriate' is one of those weasel words bureaucrats use to censor anything of which they disapprove, to smother truth and free speech.

They are forever taking offence on behalf of others, who are not in the slightest bit offended.

I'm sure CJ didn't get where he is today by using 'inappropriate' language. he belongs squarely to the ranks of guilt-ridden guardianistas who hate their own country and constantly attempt to deny, rewrite or erase our history, while bending over backwards to indulge the hatreds and prejudices of 'oppressed minorities' such as bloodthirsty Muslim fundamentalist headbangers.

In recent years they have turned their attention to World War II, claiming that Churchill's decision to bomb Dresden was a 'war crime', while conveniently overlooking the german Blitz on British cities.

Would they have been happier if hitler had won? There's no doubt that we would have lost the war had it not been for the heroism of those who crewed the flotilla of small ships in 1940 and, in mortal danger, rescued 338,000 soldiers from the beaches at Dunkirk. It was a defeat, but one which provided the springboard for eventual victory.

John Everett was a boy of eight at the time of Dunkirk, but he never forgot. his uncle, Frank hurst, was one of the Thames watermen who took part in the evacuation.

He was determined that the bravery and sacrifice of men such as Douglas Tough would be commemorated in stone, and refused to take 'no' for an answer.

The story came to my attention and featured first in this column and then in my book, Littlejohn's Britain. It was picked up elsewhere as Mr Everett stepped up his fight through the media.

At one stage he received a phone call from someone claiming to speak for 10 Downing Street, who said he would be allowed to erect the memorial provided he stopped talking to the Press because it was embarrassing the Prime Minister.

But he refused to be silenced, determined to shame CJ Woodward and his accomplices into submission.

Eventually, the agency capitulated and even agreed to pay £2,000 towards the cost of the memorial.

I am delighted to tell you that it will be unveiled at Teddington on Sunday by Prince Michael of Kent - a decade late, but just in time for the 70th anniversary of Dunkirk later this month.

The ceremony will be attended by Mr Everett and John Tough, grandson of Douglas Tough, fifth-generation family boatbuilder and Commodore of the Dunkirk Little Ships Association.

There will also be a few survivors of that historic, heroic operation, all now in their late 80s. It is probably the last time they will ever be together. We all owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

Mr Everett is modest about his involvement, which some might say showed true Dunkirk spirit. he is happy to let the memorial speak for itself.

It is carved from granite, with silver lettering, and is headed, no doubt much to CJ Woodward's chagrin: 'how Teddington's Little Ships helped win the Second World War.'

It records the magnificent achievement of the small ships and their crews, under constant bombardment from the Luftwaffe, and concludes: 'Winston Churchill called this "a miracle of deliverance".'

Amen to that. having beaten the bureaucrats once, Mr Everett, now 78, also became involved in a campaign to stop the Environment Agency selling off lock-keepers' cottages. You won't be surprised to learn that he won that battle, too.

Incidentally, I asked him if he knew what had become of his old adversary, CJ Woodward. 'Last I heard,' he said, 'he was something to do with health and safety...'

A fact-finding mission with some extras

Cllr Jim Flashman

This week's edition of nice Work comes from Cornwall, where councillors have voted to send themselves on a 'fact-finding' tour of lap-dancing clubs.

Committee chairman Jim Flashman, 61, said: 'I have never had the need to go to a lap-dancing club, so I really don't know what goes on in them, or what impact they might have on their neighbourhoods.'

He must have led a sheltered life, even by Cornish standards. you don't need to have visited a lap-dancing club to know that they are sleazy dens of iniquity, which exploit women and punters alike.

Sad, desperate men get ripped off and women are forced to make ends meet offering 'extras' for cash.

While I have no problem with them being located in city centres, such as London's Soho, they pollute suburban high streets and genteel provincial towns, attracting crime and prostitution.

How many lap-dancing clubs will the councillors have to visit before they conclude that the Bada Bing has no place in Cornwall?

Who let the burglar out? Woof! Woof!

Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime. Presumably, the judge who agreed to let a convicted burglar out of prison so he can take care of his dog didn't get the memo.

Daniel Ready, who was already on bail when he was arrested for assault, told Stoke- on-Trent Crown Court that there was noone to look after his three-yearold Staf fordshire Terrier, Vinnie.

Ready said: 'he's lovely, he's like a child to me.' of course he is.

I know I'm going to get letters telling me that Staffs make docile pets, are good with young kiddies, etc.

So why is it that every tattooed chav seems to wander around the streets with a Staff off the leash these days?

The breed became the skinhead's dog of choice when American pit bulls were outlawed. And it can be no coincidence they do seem to feature disproportionately whenever children are attacked.

A Staffordshire terrier, like a shaven head, is a statement of intent.

Ready is almost certain to go to jail, so why did Judge David Pugsley show him compassion?

They say it's not the dog, it's the owner. I rest my case, m'lud.

When Ready is banged up, perhaps Judge Pugsley would like to offer Vinnie a home.

Tony Blair turned up on the campaign trail to support Jacqui Smith. As if she didn't have enough problems. He described Jackboots as 'the most honest woman I know'.

What puzzled me, though, was why he met her in Redditch and not at her 'main home' in her sister's spare bedroom in South London.

A real low down bum

Ellis Drummond was nearly given an Asbo for wearing his trousers too low

If we eventually get round to banning burkas, can we also prohibit hoodies, baseball caps and low-slung trousers?

I can't see the difference between a bird dressed up as a pillar box and a youth hiding his identity under a hood.

As for low-slung strides, I thought they went out 15 years ago with New Kids on The Block.

But this week, a court in Northampton refused an application from the CPS to hand an Asbo to Ellis Drummond, 18, a violent drugs offender, to stop him 'wearing trousers so low beneath the waistline that members of the public are able to see his underwear' and any tracksuit tops 'with the hood up'.

The court ruled that - you guessed - it would breach his yuman rites.

Drummond was pictured wearing his trackie bottoms round his knees.

He must walk like a penguin.

But since when has it been a human rite for a young thug to wander the streets looking as if he's been caught short after an afternoon drinking scrumpy?