Boys, as a whole, aren’t doing so well in school these days. Compared with their female counterparts, boys are more likely to earn Ds and Fs, more likely to face disciplinary action, and less likely to graduate from high school and college.

Your son doesn’t have to be one of those statistics. As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to ensure your son’s scholastic success, beginning with being aware of any potential problems. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Most boys aren’t going to come home and say, “Something is bothering me at school” or “I’m really struggling in math. Can you help me?” Watch for these 3 signs of potential problems at school instead:

1. “I hate school!”

Yes, virtually every kid hates school at some point in time. And it’s completely normal for boys to routinely dislike some parts of school. But if your son hates school as a whole, it’s time to figure out what’s going on.

My oldest son was just five-years old when he announced that he hated school. I ignored his comments for a while—”How bad can kindergarten be?” I thought—but when they persisted, I sat down and talked with him. Good thing I did. He was having a hard time with some kids on the playground, and the school assignments didn’t match his ability. My son “hated” school because he was frustrated with the work and didn’t know how to handle uncomfortable interpersonal issues. His dad and I scheduled an appointment with our son’s teacher, discussed the situation, and developed a plan that included extra academic support and careful monitoring of the playground situation.

Take Action: If your son hates school, figure out why. If your son won’t tell you what’s going on, you may need to do a little detective work. Talk to his teacher(s) and the parents of his classmates. Develop a plan of action to address your son’s problems.

2. He never brings home any homework.

Does your son consistently come home empty-handed? An absence of homework could be a sign that all is going well—or a sign that he a) has given up on school, b) is slowly but steadily falling behind, or c) all of the above.

Don’t just ask your son, “Do you have any homework?” Check his backpack too. One of my boys is notorious for telling me he has no homework. The folder in his backpack, though, routinely contains take-home assignments.

Take Action: Check with the school. Many schools post student grades online; some even post the day’s homework. Let your son know that you’re aware of missing assignments and homework; sometimes, that will be all the motivation he needs to get to work. Talk to his teacher too. Maybe he is getting all of his work done at school. If so, ask the teacher if she can tweak his assignments so he’s appropriately challenged. Your son shouldn’t be able to get through his work with no effort. Believe it or not, lack of academic challenges is a major reason that some boys “tune out” in school.

3. He brings home tons of homework.

Is your son up ‘til 11 PM doing homework every night? Pay attention. What looks like intense study might actually be a lone boy, struggling after dark to make sense of assignments he doesn’t understand.

Some boys (and girls) are leery of asking for help. They want to look competent and in control, so they fake understanding at school—and drag home a ton of work later, in a desperate attempt to keep up. The problem is that if your son doesn’t understand the material, he’ll quickly fall behind.

Take Action: Spend some time with your son as he works through his homework. Does he seem to understand what’s going on, or does he dawdle over one assignment for a long period of time? If you sense that he’s struggling, ask him gently what he understands and what confuses him. Share your insights with his teacher, who may be able to connect him to additional help at school. Seek additional help, such as a tutor, if necessary.

How’s school going for your son? Do you have any other “signs” to share? What tipped you off that your son was struggling in school?