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Any time you're not in direct physical contact with the baby, it's because you've abandoned it in the wilderness so it can be eaten by wolves. My good friend's three month old has repeatedly assured me that this is true.

EDIT: (this is assuming you're done with the swaddling phase) My 6 month old will incredible hulk himself out of that shit way too easily.

I found a 3 pronged strategy that seems to work. First: While holding, once baby has been entirely fuss-free and calm for at least 20 consecutive seconds, lay baby in crib (starts fussing)

Grab blanket and dangle above face in playful manner, creates brief pattern-break distration. Place blanket on baby with enough remainder for some of it to rest along the left or right side of face, they love this feeling.

immediately insert pacifier, if he accepts it, walk away. These have to happen sequentially in order in a swift way without being too herky jerky of movements to raise any alerts. It currently works for me.... for now...

Mine will accept them at night, and if he wakes up and spits it out 20 minutes later, will end up on all fours hovering over it and crying until one of us shows up and re-inserts and he usually knocks out again pretty fast. During the day time he's not interested at all, unless I present it to him in the same way that I would typically fly his spoon of food in from a distance, then he'll accept it.

Man I feel you. Once when I was little and watching my baby brother my mom left for most of the night. That little brat would be bawling and screaming if he wasn't being held, bounced, and walked around with. I had to pace in my living room for hours because I couldn't sleep and he wouldn't either. Bleeeeegggghhh. Good luck! I didn't have being an adult to worry about then either.

My wife rolls around while sleeping like a dog in the back of a station wagon. I do not trust our baby between us, and I don't trust the baby without a parent on each side (she's 6 months and can crawl a little).

I assume you don't have kids. There are some things nothing can prepare you for. Being covered in so much of someone else's shit that you slowly go from being disgusted to laughing maniacally. These thing ususlly happen at 3am.

Wow.. Here I'm nodding extensively while agreeing with op. Then I see your reply... I can't even imagine having a kid right now. That's like the last fucking thing on my life's list. Shit, I don't even know if it's on my list or not yet, that's how out of the world that concept is to me at this point.

Are you on a salary?
I am an hourly employee at a company that has hourly and salaried employees.

I prefer being hourly because they don't want to pay me overtime. Which means I am leaving at 40 hours or they are paying me extra. I work with a bunch of salaried employees and they get paid the same no matter what and they don't get to drop what they are doing at 40 hours. They have to stay until the job is done.

Of course they are all making at least $15,000 more than me yearly, so that kinda sucks.

That chart also assumes you don't have any chores around the home--cooking (or getting food), cleaning, whatever random stuff comes down the pipeline. I'd say that light blue area is probably a lot smaller than the 4 hour chunk makes it seem.

Oh is this the part where we keep 1 upping to somehow seem like we have it worse? I guess I'll just end the chain here then; I'm a Chinese sweat shop worker who works for 18 hours a day and I get paid 1 meal of noodles for the day's work. When I get home my dad beats me till I fall asleep. Sometimes he's still going at it 2 hours later when I wake up to start my 2 hour walk into town. The weekends are my favorite because I get 1 hour off extra so I can sell my body to people for a little extra cash that goes directly to my dad to help house me. If I earn enough he even lets me sleep in the dog's bed instead of in the mud outside and if I'm really lucky the dog has some fleas that I can have a midnight snack on. I also only have 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 ear. Actually I only have half a body so my employer only gives me half a bowl of noodles instead of a whole bowl.

i have a 40 minute commute to work, assuming i leave 1.5 hours early. if i leave 1 hour early, i arrive 30-60 minutes late.

I'm generally so exhausted from the day that i prefer sleeping at 9, not 11.

Theres some "dead time" between 5 and 7 PM. if i leave during this time, i'll spend nearly twice as long driving as i need to under ideal conditions. So from 5-7 ish i generally spend it at the gym at work.

Yeah pretty much. If you bundle in work related activities (commute, the "lunch hour", etc) then mine is pretty much 11 hours work, 6.5 hours sleep, 6.5 "free." Except that in that "free" time, I have to fit in other responsibilities, as well.

New to the working life but wow. I go to school for 8 hours a day at most, get free time the rest of the day and weekends off. At the end of every school year (8-10 months) you get 3 months off. You also get a week off Thanksgiving, a few weeks off Christmas to spend with your family, and you get days off when it's snowing or various one-day holidays. If you went to a Jewish school, you had their holidays off too.

Then work. Morning or after 12 midnight is my free time. I close everyday. I don't get Saturday or Sunday off. I don't even get two days close together off. It's Monday and Thursday. That way I don't relax too much and actually come to work feeling refreshed in any way. Overtime is either guaranteed or you have none at all. A points system determines that whether you're 30 minutes late or 1 minute late to clock in, you're getting the same amount of points off. Whether your grandfather's in the hospital or not, you're getting points off.

That's what most kids are getting after highschool, an awful job like this. Great way to start your adulthood life is to go all the way down into shit.

Really? The "work" section is 5 hours of a 12 hour clock, on a 24 hour day that'd be 10 hours, presumably daily. That's probably a pretty high estimate of the average work day. Don't forget "not work" includes sleep.

I completely see what this article is saying and somewhat agree that the mantra is almost over-lauded and over-sold.

To quote from the article:

For those forced into unlovable work, it’s a different story. Under the DWYL credo, labor that is done out of motives or needs other than love—which is, in fact, most labor—is erased. As in Jobs’ Stanford speech, unlovable but socially necessary work is banished from our consciousness....

...For those forced into unlovable work, it’s a different story. Under the DWYL credo, labor that is done out of motives or needs other than love—which is, in fact, most labor—is erased. As in Jobs’ Stanford speech, unlovable but socially necessary work is banished from our consciousness.

Suffice it to say, as rosy as it is to offer 'do what you love' as advice, it is an unrealistic aspiration for everyone, even people who study STEM. I recently was driven by a bus driver who had a business degree and had aspirations of running her department to rid it of its inefficiencies. Truth remains that most of us will end up with loveless work - labour - that is repetitive, unintellectual, and undistinguished and that will persist for most of our lives, regardless of a 'successful' career...because someone has to drive the bus.

Yet arduous, low-wage work is what ever more Americans do and will be doing. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the two fastest-growing occupations projected until 2020 are “personal care aide” and “home care aide,” with average salaries in 2010 of $19,640 per year and $20,560 per year, respectively. Elevating certain types of professions to something worthy of love necessarily denigrates the labor of those who do unglamorous work that keeps society functioning, especially the crucial work of caregivers.

Furthermore:

Ironically, DWYL reinforces exploitation even within the so-called lovable professions, where off-the-clock, underpaid, or unpaid labor is the new norm: reporters required to do the work of their laid-off photographers, publicists expected to pin and tweet on weekends, the 46 percent of the workforce expected to check their work email on sick days. Nothing makes exploitation go down easier than convincing workers that they are doing what they love.

This. Loss of work-life balance with the widespread corporate adoption of 'Do What You Love'. I am not looking forward to the complete loss of my personal life, even if I am doing what I love. I work in tier 1 IT for an advertising agency and it's not only soul-sucking repetitive work, but I also see how miserable it makes people on the other end of the phone whose jobs have become an unnecessary parade of round-the-clock work love.

Hmm... no, this is what working a 5 hour shift at the Crabby Patty is like.

Being an adult feels more like a watch with multiple shifting layers to let you know what should be happening at any given time. Also assume that at any point, your idea of what should be happening will jump ship and be replaced with chaos, especially if you work in a field that requires off-hours work - in addition to your regular shift.

With children, go ahead and add six layers of complexity to your watch, and you might as well have the "you're safe to sleep during these hours" portion removed. Set a randomized alarm called "assorted bodily fluids time" and sync that with your children layer.

Sorry, can't say that I agree with it. Spongebob is pretty cool, though.

I've come to the conclusion that adulthood is large a matter of surrendering freedom. Get a job, give up a giant hung of your freedom. Get a better job with more responsibility and obligations and you bleed more liberty away. Get married and man, it gets sliced down to the bone. By the time the kids start coming all the freedom you have left is a few scattered scraps and people keep hiding them from you. After that it's just grin for the camera and eventually die.