Every night when I go to sleep, I think about what it will be like when I die, if there is a heaven, and fear sea levels rising and the pandemonium and chaos as people try to migrate towards the middle of the country from the coasts.

I worry about money too, and try to ration it carefully so I can build my checking and savings account with each paycheck I get.

I'm looking forward to my sister moving back home, but she can be a pain in the ass. She can be judgemental and snotty about people, making faces to me about people she thinks are ugly/weird/poor/crazy. It makes me want to sock her in the nose when she does that.

My breasts are killing me, every month they start to hurt around ovulation and beyond. It's a weird pain...

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Earth: A Satanically ran planet where 98% of it's inhabitants are unquestioning, conformist idiots who are totally controlled and manipulated by the Satanic governments of the world and have been made complacent by said governments, through rigorous brainwashing.

JoanClayton: I/we are a bit like that sometimes too; we have been working w/ a financial planner for 2 years now, and while yes she's done us a lot of good, we both dread going in for "maintence appointments" bc she always makes us feel like little kids back at school w/out our homework & not having studied for the BIG TEST.ugh.really though, money is much more emotional a subject than most people would ever really admit or realise.

confession: I have been very good to myself lately.. while not having been particularly kind or loving to my family and I think I probably should feel bad about that but don't ; I just want to keep on shopping.(fyi: my newly french tipped super girly gel nails, and french manicured toes look fantastic! )

ps to damona: I'd have probably at least contemplated flirting w/ that girl too - she sounds like she had great style!

confession: well, i went and did it. ugh. apparently i didn't do anything particularly idiotic, except i freaked out one of my friends when i said i wanted this chick in a little black dress and stiletto heels, since said friend didn't know i am bi (how have we been friends a couple years and she never knew? i'm still confused on that one. but anyway.) the only part i regret is that, for the first time in my life, i got sick from drinking. at least i didn't puke on myself. i have that redeeming factor. but i guess it serves me right for the like, 10 tequilas that i drank. at least i'm not horribly hung over, just feeling a bit delicate.

Confession: I hate how consumed I am with money. Getting it, saving it, spending it (WRECKLESSLY), worrying about it, not budgeting it, trying to budget it, loaning it, never getting loaned money back, making bad investments, and so on. I really don't know why I find money and my personal finances such an overwhelming thing to deal with. Having money and having a lack of it makes me very anxious and gives me funny feelings...Is this stemming from different issues in my life?

Managing my Stocks, Credit Reports and 401k are also things that overwhelm me...

I hate money, but at the same time I have a sick love of it too...

This is stupid.

Money is so essential to everyones life and future. We need to be given classes geared specifically toward this in grammar school and high school. Mostly all of my peers have no real idea what they are doing with their finances besides swiping cards and spending cash til its ALL GONE or MAXED OUT.

Confession: I am so tired of my mom's bulls**t right now I just don't want to do anything for her or even deal with her. I am so glad she's out of the country right now, even though it means I'm doing a ton of extra stuff by looking after her house and 4 animals and bills and all that crap. I almost wish she were back drinking becasue she's acting like she did when she was, and at least if she was drinking she could get sober again and become the wonderful human being she is.

I've been having the same urge too, damona, which is why I'm sitting in a coffee house right now instead of at the bar and doing stuff I know I will regret in the morning. I've been there a couple times and it isn't fun.

Confession: Right now I want to give everything in my apartment to Goodwill and start all over this summer. Just bring my books, some clothes, my camera, CDs, computer and my camping gear back with me to Minnesota because that's what is important to me. I really like my couch, but the rest of it can go, I'd even be willing to part with most of my clothes and a couple of the books.

don't do it. trust me. you're better off not regretting what you did the night before. I had a spectacularly drunken and regrettable night about a month ago, and I wish I could pull a groundhog day and re-do it.

Earth: A Satanically ran planet where 98% of it's inhabitants are unquestioning, conformist idiots who are totally controlled and manipulated by the Satanic governments of the world and have been made complacent by said governments, through rigorous brainwashing.

i have a deep desire to get raging, out of control, do stupid-shit-i'll-regret-tomorrow drunk when we go out tonight. and i will have enough friends that have money (cuz i don't!) with me that it is a possibility. but i will be good, i'm sure, and just get a little buzzed, because i am too afraid of losing control and doing that stupid shit i'll regret tomorrow!

I know it's only rock 'n' roll. But I like it.
Posts: 7,808
From: a riverbank in BC, Canada

1) I just spent almost $200 on new clothes, when I sooooo can't afford that much. On the up side, if I didn't have my staff discount, the same clothes would have cost $400 (not that I would have spent that much - I just would have had half as many new things), plus doodlemama sent me $80 so I could have new work clothes, so it's not all bad. Plus I've dropped so much weight, I had pretty well nothing to wear anyway.

(Maybe we need a special thread for justifying and validating our decisions!)

2) I am developing feelings for a boy who is a new friend, but I'm scared shitless to let myself go and really feel them, because even though the signs of reciprocal interest are there, and I feel deep down in my heart and soul that there is "something" really special about this guy, my head keeps telling me I can't trust anyone in the world but myself.

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Check out my band's new demo online! You can DL my original....and please fan up if ya like it!

I dunno, freckleface... when I think of it I think of my spirit wandering around, unsettled, or imagining what would have happened with all the stuff that was going on in my life at the time that it happened.