The most painful part of losing you kid brother is that you are one person I have always loved. I was always prepared to do anything for you and I know the feeling was mutual and that made loving you so easy. I wanted everything good for you and I wish I had done more. I feel so vulnerable without you buddy, my only question is why? Why did have to go? Was it an accident and nothing but accident? You owe me the truth of your passing cos I'm hurting seriously hurting and confused but above all I miss you and always will.

It feels like yesterday but it's already a year ago and I still can't believe you are gone kid brother. A year ago today you left me and your loved ones in pain and sorrow and I still can't believe it, I can't believe you are no more. The pain has subsided but the sorrow and the lost remains. I'm still struggling to find me because you took half of me away Cudjoe. How do I explain the feeling of losing you when all I feel is emptiness and sadness? I'm trying to find consolation out of all the good things you did in your short lifetime but the thought of not seeing you smile again makes me feel miserable. That said buddy I am determined to make sure your good name remains, the love and affection you gave to the world is your legacy and it is my responsibility to maintain it. I am therefore seeing up foundation, in your memory to help poor children and I believe your soul will rest in perfect peace knowing that your legacy of love and help to all and sundry lives on.

Cudjoe I will always love you and you will always be with me till the day we meet again.

Take a look at your foundation site under construction www.cudjoepewudie.com counting on your support and guidance buddy.

Buddy! Just thougt I will post the tribute I wrote for you just in case you did not hear it clearly when Vanessa read it both in Sweden and in Sanco. Know what, I started writing it on the plane two days after ur departure when I left Sweden for Chicago but I just couldn't carry it thorugh so I had to do it weeks later at the office and it took not more than 30 mins to put it together so forgive me if I forgot vital stuff you would have loved to read but hey I'm going to tell you more as time goes on so worry not child :-)

Cudjoe this is our medium, our forum our channel a wayl get to share some of my thoughts if not all, especially about you. I wish I could pour it all out here for you to read but I know this is the internet where whatever is put here is at the disposal of every citizen of the universe - universe...!? yeah, you know what I mean cos that includes you :-) Hey buddy it's Saturday today and I'm feeling down and just felt like going out, actually got to go and help a friend - gosh just smiling in the midst of tears...!because this all you did in your short life - helping others! Why do I feel your presence? Well I guess I'm just imagining it. Well hust thught I should create this channel so we can talk or rather so I can get to tell you what and how I feel if and when I feel like :-) Know what? Just made some fufu and I made your kind of light soup yesterday so buddy enough of this crap, now you know where find me so got to go eat my fufu and you may join me but since you prefer standing while eating just take a bit and enjoy it while standing but Im going to sit down. Ciao!

Is there anything more rewarding than doing what is expected of you or what you've set your mind to do and doing it in à way that makes you tell yourself yes I did it and I'm proud of myself? No there isn't. Honestly, I do not understand people who go to jobs they are paid for and want to keep and yet consciously decide to play hide and seek. How does one feel refusing rather than failing to give their best? I couldn't hold back my tears watching the undercover boss tv program and seeing employees giving their best and more. Hardwork, honesty and humility are three imoprtant Hs which should be the guiding principles in every employees working life, simple arn't they? I hope my children would always remember the Ansah-Pewudies' motto - never give up.

It's four days since the Norwegian bomb blast and the masacre of members of the youth wing of the Norwegian ruling party the Social Democrats tragically occured. have
since the news broke shed tears everyday at least twice à day - in the morning when I

read the newspaper and evening when I listen to the news. I have asked myself why this particular incident is so touching and causing so much grief especially so when

children are dying in the horn of Africa of hunger when food is being thrown in the bin everyday in other parts of the world including my home? When it all happened (
the Oslo incidents), everybody thought it
was the of terrorists (islamic extremists).
Assuming it was the work of islamic
terrorists would I have felt the same
anguish and grief? I do not know but
probably yes yet I can't let go the thought
that this was the work of one man killing
dozens of people irrespective of age,
religion or race because he deslikes people
like me. Like à local politician belonging to
the Sweddish racist party Swedish
Democrats put it, the actions of this felon
are due to multi-etnicity. But how does any
nation develop without diversity?

Another question I've pondered over the last few days is would the activities that have been carried out by this murderer which have been omgoing for the past 10 years gone unoticed by the law enforcement agencies if he had been muslim or of à foreign background? Has the western world become so biased and so prejudiced that only wrong doing has been categorised based on religion and or origin? Ironically, two days after the incident the headen of the editorial of one Sweden's dailys GP read;Terrorism or extremism? For obvious reasons I did not grasp the essence of the question. Would the same question have been asked if the act was committed by islamist group or an individual of à foreign background? I have no answers but in my world, causing harm and taking the lives of people in such à pre calculated manner and magnitude no matter religion or origin is nothing but à terrorist act.

My grief I believe is based on the fact that the perpertrator targeted à group of prople who are concerned about the welfare and development of society something I've spent the most part of My life doing. Co.-incidentally, i received by mistake an email which was not meant for me from someone who wants to start à war against muslims. Extremism whatever it's form in My world is unhealthy and the only way we can find peace and tolerans in this world is accepting diversity and tolerate what is foreign.

We all once a while do want to feel needed and useful to others, especially those we love and cherish. Having a sense of usefullness creates satisfaction and inner fullfillment-joy; what I call the essence of life. But when do you know you are of good use to someone you love? Often a thank you or a sign of appreciation is considered enough. My issue is who determines when Ive been usefull? Is it when I feel a sense of satisfaction for what I have done or is it when someone confirms in positive terms what I have done? Are these two premises synonymous or complementary? Or does one carry more weight than the other? Or could it simply be that the latter is the determining factor of the earlier? Gee, Im neither a psychologist nor a philosopher but if a good sense of satisfaction is enough to create that innate joy should one suffer the consequence of the misinterpretation of whoever is at the receiving end? Maybe not but if not then what worth is that joy or sense of satisfaction if the recipient has a different perception of what is intended? Sharing same values is probaby the underlying factor for mutual understanding and the determining factor for feeling useful and to be apreciated.

Well, its almost midnight but before the day ends I want to feel Ive been useful bucause I feel a sense of satisfaction that Ive been useful and appreciated by someone else.

I've just booked and confirmed a trip to Ghana in mid december, hoping to be back home just in time to watch "Kalle Anka" on tv with my family on christmas eve. The purpose of the trip? To help out with the development of Great Andoh international school - the heart and soul of Emelie - my hero of late. I hope to overcome the frustrations associated with doing business in Ghana when it comes to people showing up at meetings in time if not on time. Already nervous about the endless hours I'm going to spend in traffic - all meetings will have to be scheduled between 10 am and 2 pm, the only time you can move from one end of Accra to the other under three hours in traffic.

I'm anxiously hoping to be able to help ease things for Emelie and great Andoh and to start a new milestone towards creating opportunities for needy and vulnerable children in Kasoa.

The opportunity of seeing my 86 year old mother again in less than 6 months is also an inspiration.