Wednesday, May 13, 2009

This is bad... really bad.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.

When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.”

At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.

However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.

Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.

By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.

As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.

Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.

Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure. She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it. After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.

The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel.