Acrotism

The fourth date is really the turning point. First date, second date, you’re getting into the groove, learning what she likes, hitting the night spots. The third date, if you get to the third date, is more fun, looser, more relaxed. Might even get lucky. Fourth date’s my wall.

See, the fourth date, not long after the third date, is a leisurely thing, a pre-planned picnic, a museum; it’s a weekend thing. It’s a daytime thing.

You can hide the paleness under bar lights, you can excuse sharp kisses with passion. In bed you can distract her from your acrotism with mood music of a bass-driven nature. Gone in the morning? Commitment issues.

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"All the while I have been forgetting the third of my reasons for remaining so faithful a citizen of the Federation, despite all the lascivious inducements from expatriates to follow them beyond the seas, and all the surly suggestions from patriots that I succumb. It is for the reason which grows out of my medieval but unashamed taste for the bizarre and indelicate, my congenital weakness for comedy of the grosser varieties. The United States, to my eye, is incomparably the greatest show on earth."