Charlie Sheen Was Having Sex With This, And a Briefcase Full of Coke

While Charlie Sheen lays in a hospital bed with nothing but his love of proving all porn stars are hookers keeping him alive, Kacey Jordan (above) has been identified as one of the women partying with Charlie for over 36 hours at his house, according to RadarOnline:

“I have a lawyer and I am not making any comment,” the 22-year-old told our reporter moments ago.
Jordan was at Sheen’s mansion on Wednesday afternoon when she took to Twitter to publish a risqué photo, wearing a barely-there bikini.
Not soon after, she wrote: “It’s officially 24 hours of drinking! Hehe.”

And why would she need to hire a lawyer? Maybe because Charlie Sheen was literally eating cocaine by the brick while single-cockedly keeping California’s entire prostitution industry in the black. TMZ reports:

We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women.
After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine.
We’re told Sheen immediately began doing the drug for several hours.

If Charlie Sheen doesn’t die by tomorrow, I think it’s time the medical community finally admits cocaine staves off death. That or completely shaved porn star vagina. It seriously has to be one or the other, and I, for one, am tired of the propaganda. Then again, I can understand if they’re afraid to tell Martin Sheen first considering he was willing to torpedo The West Wing just to get Aaron Sorkin off shrooms.

MARTIN: Is my boy gonna live, doctor? I’ll lock him in rehab myself and throw away the key. *shakes Charlie* Dammit, why couldn’t ya stop, Charlie? Why? You had everything?!
DOCTOR: Mister Sheen, I don’t know how to tell you this, but the only thing keeping your son alive is cocaine.
MARTIN: Come again?
DOCTOR: I can’t, the hooker already left. Cocaine is the only thing keeping your son’s heart pumping.
MARTIN: I don’t believe it.
DOCTOR: Neither do we, sir, but watch as I place a trace amount under his nostril.
CHARLIE: *snaps to life, snorts coke off doctor’s finger* Was I just talking to Satan? Did you guys see that?
MARTIN: Charlie!
CHARLIE: Hey, pop. Doc, you got anymore of this?
DOCTOR: I’m afraid that’s all of it.

Oh, and Sarah Palin, not sure why she’d be included in this…is not a dumb hillbilly, she is just a regular lady who makes mistakes. I don’t want her to run the country but I’d much rather hear her fumble and make mistakes than have another politician give a perfect speech and then do the opposite once we’re satisfied

Actually, I’m a card carrying conservative Republican. Sarah Palin gets on my list because she makes conservatives look like uneducated hillbillies. I get the feeling that Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to corrupt the Republican party from the inside. Palin pushes people to liberal side because of her polarizing nature.

It’s not, but it still releases a bunch of endorphins, smiliar to opiates.

And Euroman, you are correct. I was partying in Vegas on that shit, got escorts at 5:30 am, hot as hell, and the thing didnt move. The blood vessels are so constricted by the cocaine that you can’t get one to save your life.

what a stupid whore, i bet her parents are so proud their little girl is a stupid brainless coke whore who fucks old men for money, all that makeup to hide who they really are because they are embarrassed of themselves but since they have fucked up so much they continue…by 30 this chick will look OLDDDDDER than 30 looks trust me, I used to work in a massage parlour as a cashier in the store there and the women who are 25-35 look 40 or older…and its sad…but these girls are dumb as shit and nice but still…what a whore.

Somebody soon will post a detailed critique of her “body of work” in the adult entertainment industry.
She is probably someone who specializes in gangbangs & taking it in every hole. A regular girl next door type for Charlie.

Personally, I blame all you moronic fucks that watch such a horribly boring and assinine show like “3 and a half men,” as Chuckles would have run out of money to support his coke and hooker habit long, long ago if not for you brain dead mouth breathers tuning in weekly. You have only yourselves to blame, as even Dr. Drew would label you all as enablers.

I tried watching it a few years back, to see what all the hub bub was about. It’s literally the stupidest sitcom on the air, and that’s saying something for a genre of television that is inherently stupid. The only decent part was the hot sluts Sheen’s character bags once a week, which is basically art imitating life, apparently. They essentially pay him to be himself. It’s the greatest gig in the world, and he acts like life is such horrible torture.