Photos like No.1 just annoy me. Attention seeking, poor me (I secretly hope Vicky sees my pathetic picture or one of our mutual friends tells her about it). What do they expect to accomplish? Yeah cos Vicky is going to see what a vagina you’ve made out of yourself on facebook and come running back.

Ha, a cap in the stomach is for novices.
When I worked in the emergency department, some of the xrays of what people had in situ, would boggle your mind.
The complete set of Christmas lights inserted per rectum, has always been a favourite memory of mine.

I’d love to tell you everything, but patient confidentiality is a creed I live by.
Trust me in the knowledge that it is a true story, and there are many in my archives.
I will say though, they were not flashing by the time the person got to us, you know, moisture damage and all.

Can you explain why you can tell us about the Christmas lights in the first place, but not how or why they got there? It seems to me like we still don’t know who the hell you’re talking about, whether you stop at “Christmas lights up the ass” or go on to mention the manner in which they were inserted. I’m also just trying to justify wanting to know so desperately… how can that in any way be a good idea?? At least tell us they were on meth or something, so that the stranger folks on this site don’t go making any special plans.

Almostdead, that’s what I’m callin’ you cos your name is a little long for me (I shorten everyone), although I think it’s a great name.
So ok, without going into too much detail, it was self insertion for sexual gratification purposes alone. They had migrated too far up the bowel to allow for their removal, which I am gathering would have been part of the thrill. No drugs involved.
I’m stating the obvious here, but people do the strangest things, and get off on the weirdest things.
Lesson here… always leave enough cable to enable a safe exit.
On that note, I’m done.

The Christmas lights story reminds me of one of the funniest stories I read, about 2 guys in ER, one with a burnt face, the other with burnt nether regions.
Story eventually came out that they were experimenting with inserting a gerbil, but it wouldn’t come out. So some bright spark decided to hold up a naked flame, hoping the light would attract it.
Unfortunately rectal gas is inflammable……………..get the picture?

There’s a book called “The Woman Who Swallowed a Toothbrush”, and it’s a compilation of the 51 most bizarre medical cases ever recorded. It’s pretty good if you want more stories about people putting weird things inside themselves and whatnot. After reading that, the bottlecap really isn’t that impressive actually

Of course Divine.
I said that for effect.
But having said that, there have been cases of people I know who were discussing the details of patient cases out of the workplace, and were caught out by someone that was known to the person in question, and the ramifications were huge.
The lesson in that one is you never know who’s listening.
So I’m always careful.

word, when you said the ramifications were huge, I immediately thought the best way to meter out some poetic justice to someone having a laugh at the expense of someone else’s arse, would be insertion of said object up the gossiper’s no-fly zone. That way the ramifications are in direct proportion to the crime, and you’d know which proctologists not to go to- they’d be the one’s that can’t walk properly.
Anyone ever lose a riding crop up there?

The guy that Vicky left looks completely downtrodden. I wonder if he has emonipples too?
I must be behind the times but I didn’t know separate body parts had sub-cultures now.
That makes my dick a crusty punk, my left ball is a hippy and my right a skinhead- they make quite the off-beat (or switch the words) trio… But my nipples are always happy, in fact they’re always “pumped”! *shakes head, puts laptop down and has a bath with a toaster*