Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

After the divorce – 3

And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:13 (NKJV)

Like it or not, you find yourself now a divorced person. Gina Shaw[i] suggests at least three more steps you should consider taking:

Dare to be alone. As Shaw explains, “Being alone doesn’t mean being isolated and never seeing anyone. It just means not being coupled up, or in a rush to do so.” There are more than 30 million people living alone in this country today, and being single has become much more acceptable by society as normal. You can begin new friends and join different kinds of groups based on your personal.

One common though that divorced parents have is that they need to find a spouse to help them raise their children. However, blended homes face some of the greatest difficulties and many end up in a breakup. What this means is that your children will also experience another separation. You and your children would be better off if you remain single at least until they are grown up and out of the house.

Consider transitional relationships. Once the children are grown and gone, consider dating, once you feel ready. Don’t look at every relationship as a potential mate; simply enjoy getting to know them until the right relationship develops naturally.

Embrace your new roles. In many relationships one spouse handled some of the aspects of married life and the other handled some of the others. In your new situation it is all up to you. Maybe your spouse was responsible for all the financial items – earning a living, managing the income, investing the money, but suddenly the ball is on your side of the court and you have to handle everything yourself. You don’t have to figure it all out yourself. Look for help. You may make some mistakes in the process, but they will teach you valuable lessons.

While you may not have ever dreamed that you would now be divorced, nor was it God’s plan for your life, it is your new reality. With His help, and that of your friends and family, you can learn to live and thrive as an unmarried person.

Father God, help me to heal and learn to live as an unmarried person in such a way that will bring you glory and I may be content with my new state in life.