Why Men Shouldn't Date Losers

Why You Need To Stop Dating Losers

While career/ambition is far from the only way in which being a loser can manifest itself, it’s definitely common, and prominent. Any woman now in her 20s and 30s was likely raised to believe that she can (and should) do well in school, get education, and then go forth into the world and make her mark. Barriers and pay gaps still exist, but most women are able to pursue any career they’d like. In fact, there are more women breadwinners than ever. Given that, if ambition is something that’s important to you, it would make sense that it would be something important to your partner as well. An earnings rift, or at least one caused by one less-ambitious partner, can and will wreck a relationship. Women know this, which is why they seek out men who at least have the potential for success. Men don’t seem to realize it until they’re supporting another person whose biggest life decision is where she wants to eat lunch that day. A woman who doesn’t really have anything going on is not worth your time. Modern life is too expensive for everyone’s ambitions not to matter.

But it’s not just about careers. I think we’ve all, at some point, been involved with a woman who was so wrapped up in some aspect of herself that it made her a loser in her own right, whether it’s her job or something else (and we men are just as guilty of this). Whenever you ask someone to tell you about themselves, and their answer begins with, “Well, I work for such and such,” you know you’re dealing with someone with not a lot to offer. Really, that goes for all people who defines themselves through a singular characteristic. Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t “cheat” by pouring yourself into and perfecting one single aspect of it and then expecting everything else to fall in place. A woman who’s beautiful is nothing if she doesn’t also have goals. A hard-driving career woman is no good unless she has outside interests and knows how to create time for them. If it sounds like I’m saying men should try to find a woman who “has it all,” I am. Women are taking the same approach to us.

If women can set a high bar for the men they date, there’s no reason we can’t, too. It’s time more men set standards for themselves that go beyond cup size or hair color. If your standards are ridiculous, that’s fine. You’ll just take yourself out of the dating pool. But there’s no reason for men (or anyone) to date losers unwilling to alter their course in life to at least somewhat accommodate what’s supposed to be a loved one. She wants a man who went to a prestigious school? That’s fine, but she shouldn’t be surprised if the men she’s after expect the same thing. She wants a guy who makes a lot of money? Sure, and maybe she doesn’t need to make as much money as you, but maybe you expect her to at least have some clear goals.