One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Julia: The Pudding Pop

Next up is 21 year old Julia Landauer. 21? Why is this cast so young? I'm not one of those people who needs 60 year olds traipsing about around camp, but enough with the under 25 crowd! 30 somethings are naturally more interesting. They've accomplished more, they're a little wiser, they're still sexy... The last thing I want to see is a bunch of Angie's wandering around bumping into trees and daydreaming about sweets. My apologies to Julia for hijacking her write-up with a rant as I haven't even seen her bio or video yet. Perhaps she is a wise and mature 21 year old. Let's find out.

Ok so Julia is a race car driver from Stanford, CA. Her inspiration in life is Paul Newman because he lived his life passionately and was a true gentleman. Hmm. Maybe she is a mature 21 year old. Maybe Julia will prove my ageist rant as unfounded and unfairly judgmental.

Julia's pet peeve is slow drivers in the left lane which, if you think about it, totally makes sense. Not because she's a race car driver, but because slow drivers in the left lane deserve their own ring of hell where they are forced to drive behind an old lady in a Rascal for all of eternity.

Alright, let's get to the video. I hope to God you're interesting, Julia. I'm desperate for someone exciting. Please to enjoy:

While she's not an immature fop, she's a thumping bore. I'm predicting this one gets the Jell-O Pop (Carter) edit. She'll flit by here and there, but we'll never get to know her. We'll confuse her with other brunettes and when her elimination episode airs where she finally gets some airtime, we'll wonder where the hell she came from. Being overly cautious may serve her well as far as lasting to the Merge, but it won't serve her well as far as entertaining me and giving me some material to work with.

Look, I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong about each and every one of these people. I hope they trot out and knock me over with their resounding wit and duplicitous gameplay. I hope I'm eating my words at the end of episode 3 as I sit here awestruck by the awesomeness of all of these super young newbies. But, let's face it, I think we've got a genuine All Stars season to look forward to. With Phillip Sheppard and Cochran milling about, we'll never get to know any of these newbies. Too bad, so sad.

So, what do we think of Julia? Is she too serious and level-headed? Can she possibly form alliances with the other vapid windbags on her tribe? Comment it out.