Life lesson: #43 Slow Down!

In my book “The hardest part is letting go.” One thing is constant. Life finds a way. Nothing can be more truthful. Throughout life we develop this idea of how things should be. The way we should look. The kind of house we should live in. The type of course our lives should follow. When will we accept that it just doesn’t work that way?

So many of us spend our days and nights sculpting ourselves to fit these ideas. Purposely chipping away at what makes us unique just so we won’t stand out. And not only do we do it to ourselves but we do it to others as well. We first develope an idea of how things are supposed to be. Chances are we got these ideas from our parents or from the church we grew up in or from being brought up in a situation we were desperate to get away from. Then we fight and we push and we pull, we do anything we can to get as far away from it as possible,and closer to where in life,we consider we ought to be.

You are exactly where you need to be. The pain and the suffering you are experiencing isn’t coming from the life you are living. It’s coming from the fact that you are resisting living it. You’re tired of struggling. You’re tired of fighting. You’re tired of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. But how much of that has been the result of your choices?

Is it fair to still be subjected to the everyday responsibilities of a bad choices you made 20 years ago? Is it fair that you have to struggle to survive because when an opportunity came your way you were unable or unwilling to take it? Yes! Yes,it is. It’s called a Life lesson. And the longer you keep defending yourself against it, Refusing to acknowledge it and play the victim to it the longer you will continue to live with it day after day after day.

Have you ever heard yourself telling your “life story” to someone you just met? “I was a teen mom,I was married, I was divorced,I am ill, I had a bad upbringing….” You repeat over and over the same story. Now yes,maybe all of that is true. And yes maybe you are the victim of someone else’s destructive behavior. But are you going to continue to live in that chapter of your life? Is this really how you want people to remember you?

Listen to how other people paint the picture of their life. Pay close attention to how they are emotionally attached to things that happen 10,20,30 years ago. Never will anyone come up to you and ever say ” Wow,your life story is so unique,so incredibly remarkable that the world and everyone in it has decided from now on you can do whatever you want,have whatever you want,be whatever you want–Go ahead,it’s on us!”

It’s just not going to happen.

Everyday no matter how ridiculous or small it may be try and do something you normally wouldn’t do. You know how you find it so irritating when people talk about how great it is to do things you would never do like run a marathon,adopt a pet,write a book,volunteer at a shelter. Instead of complaining ,try it.

UGh! you say,”people are so selfish they travel the world and leave their responsibilities behind.” “How can a mother not spend her every waking hour catering to her children every need?” Stop judging what other people do and give yourself the freedom to do those things too. Just because one person finds it ok to have “me time” every other week with friends doesn’t mean you can’t find something you like to do that makes you feel go. Give yourself a break and let yourself off the hook.

Are you struggling because you refuse to let people help you? Are you a victim because you can’t say “No?”

The thought for today is: Slow down. Let life happen to you. Let people be upset with you. Let mistakes happen. Don’t be in a hurry to do everything right away and perfect. People are not going to like that you are not jumping when they want you to. Others insecurities are going to cause them to blame you for what they can’t accomplish-so what! It doesn’t matter.

When you’ve found that taking the long way home instead of the short route you’ve taken for the past 10 years leads you to see a beautiful tree covered in the deep Red color of Fall,maybe that’s what you were supposed to carry out today. Let everything else go.

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4 Responses

That was a great post with lots of fantastic points. It’s so important to take care of outselves and not “do” things necessarily because its what you were taught is the “right thing”. It all comes down to being true to ourself. Thanks for making me think some more about this!

Thank you. I grew up thinking I had to be a certain way, act a certain way and live a certain way. And when others weren’t doing things the way I was taught was the “right “way I easily fell into victim mode. At forty years old I’m learning there is no certain way and there are no victims, only opportunities.

Thanks for sharing, You and your post always seem to hit some hard points that most would rather not hear or recognize. And I agree people either hang on to the bad too long or hold on to ancient laurels that mean nothing more at your present point in life. Yes your right at some point in time we all have to move on and make or write a new chapter in our lives. I for instance have found that new voice and new inspiration in writing a blog. Its opened me up to new ideas and the belief that not all bad comes from bad, but that there can come some good if we are willing to accept the change and move on. We have to step out of the proverbial box first though.

BTW I wanted to let you know that in keeping in line with all I just said, I enjoy your post so much and the realism of what you write about that I have nominated you for “One Lovely Blog Award,” keep up the work and good luck.

Thank you.
The Scales of Time,I am so grateful for your support. Writing from the heart can be both painstaking and theraputic. Like you I believe we all have to face the realness of our situations and “move on or write new chapters.” Thank you again for the nomination,it would be my first and I would have you to thank 🙂