Positivity

I’ve heard a lot about negativity all of my life, and a little about the power of positive thinking to correct it (and, when I was in Houston, Mickey Gilley’s song about drowning negativity through the power of positive drinking, which I am not endorsing).

The first time I heard the term, “Positivity” was at a John Gottman training for therapists. His research found that relationships need a healthy ratio of positive interactions to negative ones. He says the “magic ratio” is 5:1. If we compliment five times more than we complain, smile more than frown, be soft and vulnerable instead of hard and volatile, then we have more positivity and satisfaction.

Ken Blanchard and his team at the One Minute Manager training limited negativity even more. They teach the secret of setting a goal with others, then catch them doing things right, and give them a praising. They do not allow reprimands unless the one receiving it is a proven performer, otherwise, the response to a mistake is more training and encouragement toward the goal.

When my two sons were boys, they did not like playing catch with each other. When either of them played with me, I said something encouraging with each throw or attempt to catch the ball: “nice try” or “you almost got it that time!” Their remarks to each other needed more positivity and less name-calling and negative labeling.