No funny cat videos, no posting selfies to Instagram and no minute-to-minute updates about Kim Kardashian’s posterior. Terrifying.

Now a new video, narrated by Stephen Fry, speculates what some of the giants of the web might be doing if internet inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee’s idea hadn’t taken off in 1989.

The spoof video wonders what the heads of huge online companies (all of whom appear as themselves) might be doing with their lives if the internet never became a reality.

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Arianna Huffington is delivering newspapers, Napster founder Sean Parker is using a polaroid camera to take selfies, and Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales is a librarian, encouraging readers to correct mistakes in books themselves.

Perhaps the best re-imagining comes in the form of one of the brains behind Candy Crush, Ricardo Zacconi, running a sweet shop in which he hammers confectionery in front of startled customers.

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The video was put together by a number of groups, including the World Wide Web Foundation, which says it wants to use the net as a force for good, and it’s pretty ingenious stuff!