10 Reasons Why Queen Latifah Officiating the Marriage of 33 Gay, Lesbian AND Straight Couples At The Grammys Did Not Bother Me At All (VIDEO) (PHOTOS)

She'll come out WHEN she's ready.
She'll come out IF she wants to.
So don't worry about it...
Stop looking for it.

Because at the end of the day, as much as you THINK it will matter in YOUR life, it really won't.

Queen Latifah's coming out will not be news because we suspect it anyway, so relax. If YOU are out, be out and proud...and be HER share of OUT and PROUD too, if it'll make you feel better or validated. Otherwise, relax. If Queen comes out, it won't make me any more out and proud...it won't make me any less out and proud. My reaction, I can assure you, will be "Oh. Ok. Good for her. What am I gonna wear to work today because DC is colder than a mugg!" assuming she comes out, publicly, in the next few weeks...which again, I wouldn't count on. And still to that I say, RELAX!

Folks are wildly upset about Queen Latifah officiating the mass wedding ceremony at the Staples Center during the Grammy Awards last night. In the hours since the "ceremony", there has been quite a bit of back lash over the choice to have Dana Owens "marry" 33 couples in a mass gay wedding (which needs to be corrected) if she isn't willing to "strip away the fear" and come out herself. Here's my response to that:

1.) While 33 couples were married as a symbol of love and commitment during the Macklemore and Ryan Lewis hit song, "Same Love", a song featuring the support of marriage equality for all, not all 33 couples were gay or lesbian couples. There were a number of straight couples in that group. There were couples of different faith and races in that group. This moment wasn't simply "our moment". It belonged to anyone who believes in love and marriage for all...ALL.

2.) This was the Grammys. Queen Latifah is a music icon. Suggesting Ellen Degeneres or Wanda Sykes or some of the other names I've seen swirling about the internet as viable options fail to meet the level of sensational hype within this musical context that the Queen offers. This moment is connected to a current pop song...and who better than the Queen of Pop and the Queen of Hip Hop to oversee this sensational gesture.

3.) Madonna needs not to wear ALL white...ever again. Bless her heart, ole girl needs some colorin' or somthin'! She looked like the complete OPPOSITE of A Pimp Called Slickback! Besides, if you are NOT in the wedding party, you do not NEED to be wearing all white. And Madonna, boo boo, you shouldn't be wearin' white to ANY wedding. Your own or any one else's! Now...I need me an "Erotica" fix...because I DO love her and that album was my sh!t.

She looks like she needs to be on "American Horror Story"...IJS

YES! A Pimp Called Slickback!

4.) Congrats to the couples who married each other during this ceremony! HOW FUN! AND...my apologies. This day that SHOULD be celebrated as Day One of your lives together. However, it will forever be the Day Folks Were Mad Queen Latifah Married YOU...and not them...And Didn't Come Out. Ooooo...AND you got her autograph on your marriage license...RIGHT?! Heck Yeah! You WIN Celebrity Autograph Hunt! Don't divorce though...who gets Queen's autographed reminder of your failed...no wait...let's not EVEN put that into the universe....CONGRATULATIONS!!

5.) Mary Lambert's ink and red dress...YES MA'AM!! You looked and sounded great and you DIDN'T need Jennifer Hudson there to take your part and sing over you like she did during the VMA's!!

6.) Mary Lambert didn't need Madonna either. I'm just sayin'...

7.) Congrats to my personal friends and loves: Sean Bishop (who married his husband Taylor Dakota Knuth), Quincy LeNear and Deondray Gossett (who married each other). I am certain you do not need ANY of us politicizing, even further, one of the most amazing memories you'll have in your lives. I promise you, if my fiancee, Michelle Alexander, and I were among those 33 couples, we would be focused on the love we have for each other and not the mess that's flying about the internet today. Oh...and Michelle, I'll show you who "Cleo" is when I get home tonight. Be ready. ;-)

Photo: Sean Bishop

Photo: Sean Bishop

Photo: Sean Bishop

Photo: Quincy LeNear

Photo: Quincy LeNear

8.) If I were the producers of the Oscars, with Ellen as the host...I'd be pissed I didn't think of this first.

What the Oscar producers looked like during the Grammys last night.

9.) Speaking of swingin' flags and marching...it's simply not for everyone. I have friends who are "out" lesbians but they are not interested is wearing rainbows and marching in June...and I respect that. I went through a phase when I first came out where "rainbow" HAD to have been a clothing fabric because it was ALL I wore! I was rainbow'ed DOWN! Now...some 20+ years later...not so much. I know who I am and I'm out and I'm proud but I've put away my flag and I celebrate who I am in daily acts. I have friends who opt to be even MORE private about their sexual orientation...and that's perfectly fine.

And...

10.) SO WHAT! I have not one f*ck or d*mn to give if Queen Latifah comes out...AND I LOVE HER!! Why do we believe life will be any better or different if Dana Owens comes out? Why? So you can point to her and say, "See!! Queen Latifah is gay so it MUST be ok!!" I don't need the closet of the rich or famous to swing open to validate MY life. We DO NOT need to point to Queen as an example of what being gay and being out should look like. She needs to look to us! She needs to look to those of us who ARE swingin' flags and marching and whatnot to see the water is fine and she is welcome to join us any time. If visibility among the prominent and famous is THAT important to you...no wait...let me rephrase this question...WHY is visibility among the prominent and famous so important to you? Do you. That's it. That's all. DO YOU!

When it's all said and done, Queen Latifah's coming out will NOT make it easier for the young gay boy in New York or the young lesbian in Texas or the closeted father in California, or the gays and lesbians fighting for equal rights in Russia or those whose lives are threaten on all continents on this planet for living their life in their truth. THESE are the people I want to help "come out". Dana Owens can figure it out when she wants to...how she wants to...IF she wants to. You do you...and let the Queen do...the Queen.

6 comments:

"I don't need the closet of the rich or famous to swing open to validate MY life. We DO NOT need to point to Queen as an example of what being gay and being out should look like. She needs to look to us! "

An excellent opinion! Thank you!! And congratulations to your friends who were participants in such an extraordinary and unexpected, heartwarming event.

Queen is doing HER! It's HER'S to do. To think, for one INSTANT, that anyone's lives are going to change, or that FUKUSHIMA will suddenly not be radioactive anymore, because the woman shared any personal part of her life--- or another is, in a word, STUPID!

I HAD hoped that she might have used that platform to live in her, presumed, truth... but then I thought about how RUDE it would be to steal the shine away from all those couples that were there for the ceremony of their LIVES!

Chronicled, captured for life, for the entirety of the world to see... and for those, less fortunate, to marvel at and dream of one day having as an option in their own lives across the globe...

Do, you, Queen. TM in the ATL, tells me that you are called by a certain nickname. Life on life's terms, Sister! And on your own! <3

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