Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

(I’m from a region that has a very unique and distinct accent. Despite having lived in the region for my entire life, I do not speak with the accent. My lack of regional accent and the unusual spelling of my first name will often lead to customers asking me where I’m from.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, your accent and name are interesting. Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from this state.”

Customer: “No, no. You misunderstood me. Where were you born?”

Me: “I was born in this state.”

Customer: “That can’t be! You don’t talk like you’re from this state and I’ve never seen that spelling of your name! Stop lying to me and tell my where you’re really from!”

Me: “Sir, I’m telling you the truth. I was born here but I grew up in a Francophone family which is why I don’t have the typical regional accent.”

Customer: “You’re definitely not from around here if you’re from a whatever-you-called-it family! I want you to tell me where you’re really from!”

(Finally fed up with the customer keeping me from my work I give up trying to argue with him.)

Me: “All right. I’m from Quebec, Canada.”

Customer: “See, was that so hard? You speak very good English for someone from Quebec. You must have studied hard. Have a nice day, mademoiselle!”

(The lingerie company I work for has a very large sale twice a year, and it is always quite popular. We mark down prices on much of our merchandise again as the sale goes on, to move old stock. We do offer price adjustments on sale items that have been discounted again. The customer in question here is a notorious returner.)

Me: “Thank you for shopping with us today. How was your experience with us?”

Customer: “Whatever. I need to do a price adjustment.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have all your receipts?”

(The customer hands me at least 20 different receipts.)

Me: “Oh…wow. There’s a lot of receipts here. Which items did you want price adjustments on?”

Customer: “All of them.”

Me:*whimpers* “Um… okay. Just so you know, this will take a few moments.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up.”

(I look at the first receipt and notice that all the items on it were purchased at full price outside of our 90-day return policy, before the sale even started.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m really sorry, but this receipt is from almost five months ago. We only have a 90-day return policy, so there’s nothing I can do with this receipt.”

Customer: “But the items on there cost less now. I want the sale price!”

Me: “Yes, and if you had purchased these items within the last 90 days, I’d be happy to do the adjustment. But as you can see, you bought them several months ago, and the system won’t process it.”

Customer: “Well, what about the other receipts?”

(I go through the receipts and note that only four of them have dates within the 90 day policy, so I hand the stack back to the customer.)

Me: “All right, so it looks like only these four have dates within the return policy, but I’ll be more than happy to scan these through and give you your discount.”

(The customer huffs, but says nothing. After scanning all four receipts and rescanning every single item on them, I tell the customer her refund amount.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like you’re going to be getting back $1.50 for all of these.”

Customer: “What? That’s impossible! Everything on there has dropped in price again!”

Me: “Actually, that’s not true. The bras you purchased were $15.99, and that is still their price today. The only thing you’re saving any money on is this perfume, and that’s only $1.50.”

(I process the transaction and put the $1.50 on her credit card. I assume the transaction is done, until she hands me the out of date stack again.)

Customer: “Now do these. I’ll get more back on these.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve already explained, these receipts are just too old to do a price adjustment on. I’m sorry, but my system won’t process it.”

Customer: “No! You will give me my money back!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said, I’m terribly sorry, but my register will just deny the transaction. There is literally nothing I can do.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just go to [other store location] and get them to do it!”

(The customer leaves in a huff. I call the other store to let them know she’s coming. They don’t process her return either.)