In these matters it is important to stay neutral. We as Muslims don't support the Trinity or a special birth. Also the Quran says Jesus was born when the dates were ripe, see verse 19:25. In Palestine, dates are only ripe in Late Septmebre-Early October. So we also don't agree with the birth-date of Jesus and why they celebrate it.

The question thus is, and this accounts for all religious groups:
How do we stay friendly without supporting their religious doctrines?

When you say 'Merry Xmas', in reality you're supporting or acknowledging their doctrine. But when you say 'Happy Holidays', this is neutral as you focus on the happy times, and not WHY the holidays are held.

Christmas in Palestine this year is likely to be even more depressing, impoverished and violent than is usual in that benighted region. There are no indications that Tony Blair's visit will make the slightest difference. As if the depredations caused by the international boycott and Israeli military raids were not enough, Palestine's two main political factions are on the brink of igniting civil war. Tit-for-tat killings by Hamas, the Islamist group that won the parliamentary elections last January, and Fatah, whose leader Mahmood Abbas is still President of the Palestinian Authority, escalated dangerously last week.
Underneath the struggle for power lies the question of whether or not to recognise the right of Israel to exist. Fatah's leader will negotiate with Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Prime Minister. Mr Olmert insists that he is willing to complete the Israeli withdrawal from the Occupied Territories initiated by his predecessor, Ariel Sharon – provided only that the Palestinians stop all rocket attacks on Israel, and hand over the Israeli soldiers they captured.
But Mr Abbas cannot deliver anything to Israel without the support of Hamas, the elected government. Hamas, however, remains stubbornly committed to violence, terrorism and "martyrdom" as the only means to achieve its aim: an independent Palestinian state that incorporates Israel. Everyone knows that this is not a realistic aspiration – except, it seems, the Palestinian electorate, a majority of whom voted Hamas into power, and a majority of whom would appear to be willing to do so again.
Support for Hamas indicates the hopelessness and desperation of the people who live in the area it controls. Yet it is difficult to see how there can be any hope at all for anyone in the region unless Hamas softens its implacable opposition to Israel. Mr Blair has no idea how to bring about that change. Without it, however, the Palestinians, unable to achieve anything beyond their own borders, or even within them, look set to turn on themselves, which will only bring a new massacre of innocents. Too often, that is precisely what Hamas seems to want.

Some years ago I married an English girl who decided later to convert to Islam, without any pressure from me. We had then to move to Denmark where we have been living for the last few years. Needless to say, that has restricted our visiting my parents-in-law. It so happens that my wife and children visit her parents for two weeks at Christmas time. The parents accept the fact that their daughter has become a Muslim and respect Islamic teachings with regard to food and drink when she is with them, to the extent that we do not see pork or an alcoholic drink in their home during our visits. My wife gives them gifts at Christmas and they in return give her and my children presents at Christmas. I am thinking of telling my wife not to visit them next Christmas. Please advise.

Answer

A woman companion of the Prophet, peace be upon him, once told him that her mother had come to visit her, and that the mother was a non-believer who shared the pagan beliefs of the Arabs. She asked the Prophet, peace be upon him, whether it was appropriate for her to be kind and dutiful to her mother. The Prophet, peace be upon him, ordered her to be so.

You have been following the proper practice, which Islam urges by maintaining good relations with your wife's parents. From what you have said about their behavior, they seem to be broad-minded people who will not cause you, your wife or children any harm. You may maintain warm relations with them.

Nor is there any harm in giving them gifts on Christmas, because the Prophet, peace be upon him, did not instruct Muslims not to do so. On the contrary, giving non-believers presents on their festive occasions is encouraged as long as they behave in a proper manner toward Muslims and Islam. Your parents-in-law seem to fall in this category of people.

If you feel uneasy about your children developing the habit of associating Christmas with festivity and good presents from their grandparents, then perhaps you could suggest to your parents-in-law, in a gentle way that does not offend them, that you would prefer that they delay the gifts to your children until the new year, or some other occasion, such as Eid. You should try to make sure first that they will receive your suggestion without taking offense, and that they will be accommodating.

If you determine that they may be offended at your suggestion, then it may be more advisable not to broach the subject at all. Instead, you can explain to your children that the gifts they receive at Christmas have no religious value. From what you tell me about your children and the way they cope with interfaith relationship, I feel that they will easily understand.

AB

"For to us will be their return; then it will be for us to call them to account." (Holy Quran 88:25-26)_________________Wassalam,
SA

The N2I Mullah Muzammil of California now calls himself a Mufti
-SA
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Name of Mufti

Muzammil Siddiqi

As for your question, you have to bear in mind the fact that it is wrong to let your kids celebrate Christmas for many reasons. The most important one is that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) once saw people celebrating non-Islamic holidays, and he disapproved of the act and explained to them that Allah has given Muslims two better ones (i.e., `Eid al-Fitr and `Eid al-Adha). Therefore, we should obey the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and develop a Muslim identity in ourselves and our children.

In addition to this already sufficient reason, you have to dissociate your children from the Christmas spirit, even if you don’t celebrate it for Jesus (peace be upon him). Actually, Jesus was not born on that day. It was the Roman god Mithra’s birthday that was celebrated on that day and the Christians made it Christ’s birthday to compete with the popular Roman holiday.

Therefore, your children should learn the truth, and at the same time, you can exchange gifts on other occasions, such as during the Islamic holidays, or on other occasions such as at the end of the school year. If you start celebrating Christmas with your children, even as a non-religious holiday, you will be setting a wrong example for them and you will be creating a conflict that they will suffer from in the future. They take you as their role model and you should live up to it. As insignificant as you may think it is, in reality, it is not.

Dear brother, try to get your children out of the holiday spirit by spending quality time with them, by traveling with them (if possible), and by decreasing their exposure to the holiday influence on TV and in shopping malls.

Nevertheless, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, President of the Fiqh Council of North America, states:

I do agree that our little children are deeply affected with the festivities and glitter of this holiday. We should try to take them to some Islamic camps and conferences at this time and give them some other alternate programs and activities. But Muslim families should not have Christmas trees in their homes, nor should they put up lights inside or outside their homes at this time. We should tell our children that we are Muslims and this is not our holiday. This is the holiday of our Christian neighbors and friends. We may give greetings to our Christian friends and neighbors on their holiday, but we should not make it our own holiday.

Instead of celebrating Christmas, Dr. Siddiqi further says:

You can celebrate Ramadan and `Eids with lights and decoration of your home and exchange gifts with your children. This is very thoughtful, indeed. It is good to decorate our homes and masjids during Ramadan and for `Eids. It is mentioned in one of the Hadiths that even the heaven is especially decorated during the month of Ramadan. Allah Almighty closes the gates of Hell and opens the gates of Paradise during the month of Ramadan. We Muslims should give special attention to our own Islamic holidays. In this way our children will be attracted to our own celebrations rather than looking at others.

Unfortunately, there are some Muslims who do not pay any attention to Ramadan and `Eids. Some of them do not even come to `Eid prayers and even if they come, they do not take their day off from work. Thus their children have no idea about Islamic holidays or they think that Islam is a religion without any festivals and celebrations._________________Wassalam,
SA

Greeting the kuffaar on Christmas and other religious holidays of theirs is haraam, by consensus, as Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah: "Congratulating the kuffaar on the rituals that belong only to them is haraam by consensus, as is congratulating them on their festivals and fasts by saying 'A happy festival to you' or 'May you enjoy your festival,' and so on. If the one who says this has been saved from kufr, it is still forbidden. It is like congratulating someone for prostrating to the cross, or even worse than that. It is as great a sin as congratulating someone for drinking wine, or murdering someone, or having illicit sexual relations, and so on. Many of those who have no respect for their religion fall into this error; they do not realize the offensiveness of their actions. Whoever congratulates a person for his disobedience or bid'ah or kufr exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah."

Congratulating the kuffaar on their religious festivals is haraam to the extent described by Ibn al-Qayyim because it implies that one accepts or approves of their rituals of kufr, even if one would not accept those things for oneself. But the Muslim should not aceept the rituals of kufr or congratulate anyone else for them, because Allaah does not accept any of that at all, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

"If you disbelieve, then verily, Allaah is not in need of you, He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are grateful (by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. . ." [al-Zumar 39:7]

". . . This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion . . ." [al-Maa'idah 5:3]

So congratulating them is forbidden, whether they are one's colleagues at work or otherwise.

If they greet us on the occasion of their festivals, we should not respond, because these are not our festivals, and because they are not festivals which are acceptable to Allaah. These festivals are innovations in their religions, and even those which may have been prescribed formerly have been abrogated by the religion of Islaam, with which Allaah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the whole of mankind. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"Whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Aal 'Imraan 3:85]

It is haraam for a Muslim to accept invitations on such occasions, because this is worse than congratulating them as it implies taking part in their celebrations.

Similarly, Muslims are forbidden to imitate the kuffaar by having parties on such occasions, or exchanging gifts, or giving out sweets or food, or taking time off work, etc., because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." Shaykh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtidaa' al-siraat al-mustaqeem mukhaalifat ashaab al-jaheem: "Imitating them in some of their festivals implies that one is pleased with their false beliefs and practices, and gives them the hope that they may have the opportunity to humiliate and mislead the weak."

Whoever does anything of this sort is a sinner, whether he does it out of politeness or to be friendly, or because he is too shy to refuse, or for whatever other reason, because this is hypocrisy in Islaam, and because it makes the kuffaar feel proud of their religion.

Allaah is the One Whom we ask to make the Muslims feel proud of their religion, to help them adhere steadfastly to it, and to make them victorious over their enemies, for He is the Strong and Omnipotent.