The thin line between bullshit and cowdung

Why are we pissed off with Salman Khan’s statement?

More than the statement, I am surprised that people are outraging over the man. I mean, he’s uneducated, has killed people, is known to have a violent streak, and destroy people who don’t lick his ass. For decades now, the guy has been getting away with actual crimes – killing animals, threatening them, beating up people – and we are shocked that he made a stray comment about feeling like a rape victim.

What did you expect anyway? A lecture on the Palestinian crisis? A detail thesis to deal with the Venezuelan agricultural crisis? A three-part treatise on the Bhagwad Gita? He’s Salman Khan, for fuck’s sake. The guy would flunk the 7th standard exam if he sat for them!

I don’t mean to sound pompous, but I have never dated a Salman Khan fan. Of course, it’s no sign of greatness, nor am I Ali Zafar. It probably doesn’t make any difference to the eternal bachelor. A bhai who is so bhai that he can’t find a behen to get married to. I’ve always nurtured a rather terrible opinion of Salman Khan and his films. And most Salman Khan fans are like the man himself – slightly less educated, crude, morons who wouldn’t be on Twitter if there was an eligibility test.

And why should Salman give a shit? Honestly, the man has spent his entire life in an industry that doesn’t give a rat’s ass about women. Go through the history of Hindi films, and you’ll find a handful of filmmakers who actually write meaningful roles for women. So gender-skewed are our films, that actresses who have equal dialogues as the heroes in a film are labelled ‘Intelligent’/parallel/arthouse actors.

If Salman Khan’s statement shocked you, I daresay Balakrishna’s statement a few months back wouldn’t make you bat an eyelid. Balakrishna is a bull who has confused screaming and slapping his thighs as acting for more than two decades now.

Or the statement by Mulayalam Singh Yadav. Or by any other religious guru, be it Hindu or Muslim, when he talks about women. Asaram Bapu, the pedophile Baba wanted women to call their rapists ‘Bhaiyya’. And if it’s insensitive statements that we are worried about, we need to look no further than our Prime Minister. The shining beacon of light and hope and energy and goodness and everything soft and fluffy in the world. Not too long ago, he called out to Sunanda Pushkar, a businesswoman in her own right, as a ‘50 crore ki girlfriend’.

The fact is, we as a nation have a long history of rape culture. Look at our mythology – most of our leading women in mythological stories are either suspected of adultery, or banished, or stripped, or their noses chopped off for expressing love. Gomata has more of our trust that Sita mata ever did.

We are a nation where politicians openly condone rapes as ‘mistakes boys commit’. Every political party fields candidates who have a history of crimes against women. On Twitter, fans of our Prime Minister openly challenge women journalists to statements, followed by threats to rape them.

Those with good hearts use women as shields in an argument. ‘How would you feel if it were your mother and sister?’. That one statement knocks sense into all our heads because, let’s face it, how else can one explain an analogy without bringing in imaginary mothers and sisters? We have sexualised every single woman in mainstream consciousness.

Sportswomen, IAS Officers, police officers, politicians, just about anybody. Search Sania Mirza on the web and you’ll find a genius who records her videos, converts them into 3X slow-motion so he can see her boobs jiggle. Saina Nehwal? Her too. In fact, on the day Tendulkar retired, I remember going to a cafe nearby to rewatch his video, and the first comment that popped up was this – His daughter is hot. She was barely a teenager back then.

The fact is that we have been objectifying women for a long time in our country. And don’t forget, a few years ago, Aamir Khan, our beacon of wisdom, featured an extended balaatkaar joke. Everybody laughed, and went back home happy.

We need to stop expecting our film stars to refrain from making sensible statements. Most of them haven’t really gone to college, read books, participated in discussions. Some of them are certified criminals too.

Arnab Goswami will scream about it tonight. A few articles will feature on PoopScoop, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, we’ll be fussing over Princess Charlotte’s upskirt pictures.

Comparing 3 idiots speech to Salman’s statement is so wrong. That scene was set in a college campus where people are known to use that kind of a language. In addition, it was a comedy of errors. We laughed because chamatkar became balatkar. The scene was written in a context. Salman on the other hand is an illiterate jerk who regularly makes awful statements. [Remember Yakub Memon during Bajrangi Bhaijaan?]

What’s shameful is this man gets away every fucking time! That is exactly why people try to hurl abuses at him. They are frustrated with this guy for manipulating everyone & ruling an industry without having any kind of talent. More than his statement, people loathe the man himself. That comment was just an excuse for people to vent out their hatred!

I think media has become way too greedy for flash news these days. He seems to have realized his mistake immediately, and said that he shouldn’t have said that, just after he said what he did. Our media has gone ahead and made headlines out of him without adding the next sentence. Why? Because EVERYONE likes to criticize him. I am no Bhai fan either and have criticized him a lot, but this time he did realize his mistake… we can give it to him in this case as a honest mistake.

And one other observation Hriday, don’t just say, ‘we as a nation’, you need to go more global, it is, ‘we as a human race’. Again, I am not saying this because I am an Indian and I am pricked, but because it is almost with everyone. Our gaalis target woman, and majority objectify woman at some point somewhere, even me and you! Then we cover it up too, as ‘boys, they are like that’.

I totally agree with most things that you’ve said. Except for this: I think we’ve started getting outraged a lot more then before. And that’s a good thing. We do need to call people out on their bullshit (including the shitty comments above) and it doesn’t matter where we start.

I love this. You say it like it is. What’s the darn outrage for? Where was all this uproar when he actually did other things? We are hashtag crusaders in this day and age, armchair philosophers, and we seem to have an opinion on everyone else in faux outrage when we are complete assholes ourselves because we don’t do anything about it.

I’ve liked him because of his humanitarianism. I have a soft spot for people who, no matter how selfishly driven, will part with money for the betterment of the needy. I’m pissed off as hell with his nonchalance and the fact that daddy had to apologise. You can’t afford to be flippant about rape, especially when the capital in your country is known negatively for it.

Enjoyed your take on this. He needs a severe slapping for his stupid, irresponsible utterances.