Blowing Up Aliens: Less Fun Than Chasing Virtual Tom Arnold?

Is there any facet of society that isn’t in decline? It was no surprise when movies gave up on plot, characters and dialogue to focus on more CGI shots of collapsing landmarks. Books started with the Gutenberg Bible; we’re all praying for an end now that we’ve reached Dr. Oz’s Three Months To Better Sex Challenge: The Visual Dictionary. And music died the day Billy Joel went well beyond his mandate from Congress and decided we were “all in the mood for a melody.”

But then video games came along, and we were dealing with Important Things again. Rescuing princesses. Defending Earth from hordes of alien invaders. Digging… stuff (what exactly was the premise of Dig Dug?). Clara Peller should’ve looked into video games, because that’s where the beef was.

But now it is 2009, and everything is up for grabs. This is a screenshot from the game Playboy: The Mansion:

So if progress is to be believed, blowing up asteroids or getting a frog across a busy stretch of road is a poorer, less mature video gaming experience than chasing a virtual Tom Arnold around the Playboy Mansion.