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At the 3 PM Mass on Good Friday, I asked Our Lord for some little way to join in his suffering, and was promptly answered by our four-year-old daughter heaving the contents of her stomach all over herself, me, and the inside of the Church and leaving a trail of thick vomit from our seats, through the foyer, and all the way to the toilet stall.

By providential happenstance, I had The Key in my pocket, and while it was intended to facilitate the “Welcome to the Church” party tomorrow night, it allowed me access to the janitorial closet where I found supplies to mop and wipe and scrub before five hundred people came out to walk through it!