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Ford Sucks: I | 03/05/04

Apparently I am not the first person to have problems with their Ford. I woke up at 6am to call AAA so I could have my car brought to the dealership. The that came out was very helpful, patient and friendly. Once he informed me there was nothing stuck in my cigarette lighter that was shorting out the electronics we pondered the battery. Although it sat charging for 20 minutes, we couldn't get a charge. Eventually, we got it started and I decided to get the new battery from Sears first. I sat at Sears until I had already missed all of Atonal. The problem became more interesting as the car would start whenever I turned the key now--no more battery problem. With my remedial knowledge of car engines, I suggested the alternator and my mechanic agreed, giving me a complicated explanation of what exactly was wrong (the diode trio [Also the name of my new band]). Since the battery was fine and the car started perfectly, I got in it and drove straight to Ford. Although I called to change my appointment, they apparently do not have the capacity to write things down, so my time of 7am was still on their dry-erase board even though it was now 11:30. I met with my "guy", Mike Dell ( in case any of you want to find him and do unmerciful things to him). He told me it would take about an hour and a half to look at both the alternator and the check engine light. That didn't seem so bad. I figured I'd walk to PetCo and by the time I was done looking at sweet fish, he'd call me to come back. Well, well, well....

11:35-11:45: McDonalds

12:00-1:30: Mall

1:30-2:00: Ross Dress For Less

2:00-4:30: Borders

So, it's now almost 5pm and I haven't heard anything from the Dealership. Surprise, surprise. I walk back the 23 miles to their building and am pissed. In addition to this, their take-you-home guy is gone so I'm stuck there. I find Mr. Dell and ask him what the hell is going on. He tells me that they're working on it and it shouldn't be terribly much longer. Thinking he's full of it, I sneak past the back of the garage and through a small fence to see the car-waiting lot. Lo and behold, there's the Taurus, untouched. Had they not had my key, I would have driven it through the fence and come home. Since I didn't have my key, I opened the door, sat down, plugged my now-dead cell phone in and let the rage build. Once sufficiently pissed, I walked back over to Mike's office, where he was in a conversation with other customers. Rudely walking in between then I said in my nicest voice, "This is bulls---, motherf-----" complete with the down-up hand movement. His eyes opened wide and said nothing. I then asked why the hell he lied to me about my car. I told him I went back to their lot and saw my car even though he said the were working on it. Rather than explaining why he lied, he attempted to make *me* look bad by telling me the back lot was off-limits. I not-so-calmly explained that I understand cars need work and that I could have given a s--- if they had the car until Monday (which is the case now) but he didn't have to try to make it look as though it was nothing and making me waste the past five and a half hours. So FINALLY, after raising hell, I saw the Taurus being pulled into a garage slot. 10 minutes later he calls me and tells me that the battery problem is not my alternator. Naturally, I ask him what it is then. He says the mechanic doesn't know. I ask if he checked the alternator and replies, "sort of". This reply requires all caps, I'm sorry, "IT'S ON THE BOTTOM OF THE F---ING ENGINE. I KNOW IT'S INCONVENIENT TO HAVE TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING BUT TELLING ME IT'S THE BATTERY IS F--- BULLS----. KEEP THE GODD--- CAR AS LONG AS YOU WANT BUT F----DO SOMETHING". At that point Ken The Driver, the most amiable guy comes to pick up and take me home. He could not have been nicer or sympathetic. I couldn't tell if it was sincere or not because it was so over the top, but at least he listened to me. And took me home the way I told him. He's thinking about moving to Milwaukee. Lucky guy. They have a fantastic Ford dealership there. Anyway, I'm sure I'll never see my car again after being such an asshole to them but man, all they had to do was tell me to go home and pick it up on Monday. Sure, I might have been frustrated but at least I would have had the day to myself.

If there was any good news, is that I was able to read two full books on publishing at Borders and I skimmed a 3rd one on the "music business". Matt and Jamie came over last night. Matt and I had a long conversation on philosophy vs. sociology for a good two hours. We each had 3-4 beers and were at that perfect mellow-conversation sort of inebriation. Jamie came over towards the end of the evening. Matt left and Jamie and I stayed up and complained about various topics.