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Heat Radio

Scotty T, Geordie Shore's self-styled turbo dick, has an autobiography, Scotty T: A Shore Thing, out tomorrow and we can hardly wait to read it.

Fortunately, we don't have to!

Scotty has already spilled the beans about some of the exploits his tell-all book will tell-all about.

And they make Gary Beadle's book, Gaz (And My Parsnip), look like The Railway Children. In a way.

First up, Scotty reveals that he's slept with more than 1,000 women which really doesn't impress us that much anymore. Gaz has been saying he's stuck his peen into over a thousand women for years now.

However, one of the 1,000 lucky recipients of the Scott schlong found herself pregnant following their tryst.

And when she told the Geordie Shore lothario that she was with child and didn't want to keep it (as is her absolute right) Scotty flew her from Northern Ireland and paid for her to have the procedure in Newcastle.

Ah, modern romance.

"Forgive me for saying it, but the sudden relief I experienced when she said that she wasn’t planning on keeping the baby was overwhelming, cos I knew for sure that I wasn’t ready to be a dad.

“I had enough trouble looking after myself, never mind a mini Scotty T," he writes.

"I accompanied her to the clinic where everything was taken care of quickly and sensitively and then I drove her back to the airport, closing the door on that episode once and for all…

"But I dealt with it properly and respectfully, as should anyone else in that situation, FYI."

Or maybe he should have put a nonny on it in the first place, especially if he's putting it about so much. Just a thought.