Martian water still cheaper than Evian

The cost of water discovered on Mars is still less than you would expect to pay for a bottle of Evian in Tesco, according to NASA figures.

Despite the billions spent on the mission to reach the red planet, and the further millions monitoring the progress of the martian rover Curiosity since it landed last year, any water found would still appear to be a ‘bargain’ to Evian customers.

NASA spokesperson Simon Williams explained, “We believed that the water we have potentially discovered in the rocks of Mars would be the most expensive drinking water in the history of mankind. Until someone went to buy lunch at the supermarket.”

“Have you SEEN the price of bottled water? In the train station it costs more per litre than petrol.”

“I think anyone who pays for bottled water in a first world country should lose the right to vote. It’s like a really basic intelligence test, designed to spot the gullible morons throughout society.”

“Frankly if you’re willing to pay that much for bottled water on a planet that is 70% covered in water, and where water regularly falls for free from the sky, then you deserve to be mocked.”

Martian water

Experts have said the lack of obvious water on the Martian surface could be not only the sign of an ancient civilisation, but also a civil service or privatised industry.

As one explained, “The Martians may have died out due to an excessive water rates regime, or poor infrastructure maintenance schedules that led to water loss across the entire planet.”

“Millions of years ago they might have had their own equivalent of Thames Water – so it’s no surprise that there doesn’t seem to be any left.”