Because of my changing working and living conditions I have not been able to practice meditation everyday this week , but I keep practicing everytime I have the occasion too. I did a very good session two days ago, I never had so much concentration, things are improving.

I found a theravada association in Tokyo and there is going to be a Dhamma teaching+meditation time in september. Beginners can get personal advice from a monk and this might help me getting the right posture and stuff. I have already registered for the meeting and I am really happy

After a mostly succesful first month -just skipped three sittings- I begin second month of daily meditation. Internet issues continue to plague me, so some entries might be logged at later dates.

This month I resolve to sit for at least 25 minutes (thanks Ajisai) every morning and evening. An increase of 5 minutes from first month, taking small steps since mind is always way too hyperactive and agitated to make a longer sitting possible.

20130915<Failure, skipped morning sitting>Did my evening sitting.

20130916Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130917Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130918Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130919Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130920Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130921Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130922Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130923Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130924Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130925Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130926Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130927Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130928Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20130929<Failure>Did my evening sitting.

20130930Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131001<Failure>Did my evening sitting.

20131002Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131003Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

From today till 14th Oct, I will do 30 minutes sittings.

20131004Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131005Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131006Did my "morning" sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131007Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131008Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131009Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131010Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131011Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131012Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131013Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

20131014Did my morning sitting.Did my evening sitting.

Last edited by Weakfocus on Mon Oct 14, 2013 12:20 pm, edited 54 times in total.

Weakfocus wrote:I resolve to sit for at least 25 months every morning and evening.

Wow, that's a lot !

I skipped many sittings too but I'm back on regular practice. I'm trying to sit for 25 minutes too, like you, weakfocus.I'm also looking forward next saturday, when I will attend a Dhamma talk and Vipassana meditation lesson.

Second month of daily meditation is over. Mostly successful, I skipped some days because mind was too wild and frantic. Also, the quality of meditation was very poor on most days, I need to make bigger effort to focus on breath / one point.

Still, I have more self-confidence now that I can do daily meditation than 60 days ago. Never thought I would come so far, although I have so much farther still to go and gradually take my practice upto 60 minute sittings.

This third month I resolve to practice at least 35 minutes every morning and evening.

20131015Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131016Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131017Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131018Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131019Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131020Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131021Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131022Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131023Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131024Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131025Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131026<Failure>Evening sitting.

20131027Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131028Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131029Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131030Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131031Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

From today till 14 Nov, 2013, I resolve to sit and do anapanasati for 40 minutes every morning and evening.

20131101Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131102Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131103Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131104Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131105Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131106Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131107Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131108Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131109Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131110Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131111Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131112Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131113Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131114Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

Last edited by Weakfocus on Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:01 pm, edited 22 times in total.

Jhana4 wrote:As of July 20th 2013, I just passed my eighth year keeping a meditation log (no apps, just several small notebooks and a ball point pen ) and having sat at least once a day, every day of those 8 years.

One of the best decisions of my life.

This is awesome, and I've begun to do the same by logging each day in a notebook. Granted, I don't manage everyday, but I also don't go consecutive days without meditation. Even my misses are logged.

All in all, it's very helpful to me to have a physical object on my shelf.

Also, I don't usually time my mediations (setting a timer ensures I spend the first ten minutes letting go of the thought "how long has it been now?"). If I sit down with the intent to meditate, then that goes in the log as success. I only note the date, whether it was morning, daytime or at night, and what postures I used.

Reductor wrote:Also, I don't usually time my mediations (setting a timer ensures I spend the first ten minutes letting go of the thought "how long has it been now?").

Heh, I am the very opposite!

Because of my anxious nature and wild mind, I simply cannot sit without an alarm. Otherwise I always wonder how long have I sit? Has it been 20 minutes or 30? Did I 'oversit'?Setting an alarm takes away that part of anxiousness, so I do not have to wonder about time or open my eyes to check how long it has been. When the alarm sounds only then is it time to move.

Third month of daily sitting is over. A very mixed month. The biggest negative is that in many sittings there was barely any mindfulness, I daydreamt through the entire sitting. This daydreaming and fictional-world-building has been getting worse. I have also had to 'fight' myself to sit, the temptation to skip meditation has been so strong on some days.

On the positive side I finally find these daily sittings doable. The pain in legs and lower has reduced -or I have just developed resistance to it- and thus I am better able to devote attention to breath. Also positive is that while I was extremely sleepy and tired on some days, I managed to find some hidden reserve of determination to sit and meditate. And on some days this past month I experienced my best mindfulness, yet.

A month of polar opposites co-existing together, really. I'll focus on the positives and take them as sign of gradual progress.

And now on to the fourth month. This month I resolve to practice Anapanasati meditation every morning and evening for at least 45 minutes. My primary goal this month is to make stronger effort to improve the mindfulness and make the most of daily sittings, rather than use them to daydream as has unfortunately been happening past few days.

20131115Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131116Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131117Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131118Morning sitting.Evening sitting. *

20131119Morning sitting. *Evening sitting.

20131120Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131121Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131122Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131123Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131124Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131125Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131126Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131127Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131128Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131129Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131130Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

From today till 14th Dec, I will do 50 minutes sittings.

20131201Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131202Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131203Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131204Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131205Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131206Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131207Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131208Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131209Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131210Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131211Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131212Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131213Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20131214Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

* late entries due to lack of internet connection.

Last edited by Weakfocus on Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:42 pm, edited 25 times in total.

Fourth month of daily sitting is over. A month of great growth, as illustrated by the facts that:

I did not miss a single sitting. Sure most morning sittings were done in late afternoon and most evening sittings late at night, but I did not skip a single sitting.

I do not have to fight myself to do the daily sitting anymore. For sure there is still some intial hesitation and tendency to procastinate, but it is readily overcome compared to how hard it was in the first two months.

The desire to abandon a sitting has decreased dramatically. It only arises in the first five minutes (initial anxiety) or the last ten minutes (physical discomfort, anxiety). The rest of the sitting goes very smooth.

I do not wonder about the time as much as I used to earlier. In the first couple months I used to think frequenty "another 5 minutes gone" and so on every 3-5 minutes. This month I only think "How long has it been" three or four times in the entire sitting.

Physical discomfort -specifically pain in the legs and lower back- has reduced significantly. A distinct improvement from the situation 4 weeks ago, and ahuge improvement from the pain I faced in the second month. Towards the end of this month I found sitting for 50 minutes more comfortable than sitting for 30 minutes during the second month. Amazing.

Legs falling asleep has always been a big issue for me, and this nearly ruined my fifth ten-day course back in 2005. While my legs still fall asleep during sittings, now they wake up quicker. During first couple months it would take almost 120-150 seconds for them to come back to life, now it takes just 60-90 seconds.

In the first three months I could not keep my back straight for more than 3-5 seconds at a time. It was very pathetic situation as moving the body even a little ruins concenteration. I would have to constantly make small adjustments to posture to straighten the back. Towards the end of this month I found I can sit very still for 15-20 seconds at a time. A huge improvement.

I have finally started to feel some faint vibration type sensation around the upper lip/ moustache area. This is the area where I try to find the touch of breath. While the sensation is not strong or persistent enough to abandon the breath as primary object of meditation (that might take years at the rate I am progressing), this is progress compared to the first three month when I felt nothing.

The combined effect of all these changes is that the daily sittings have gone in four months from "Ye-gods-time-for-another-torture-session" to "I-think-I-can-do-this" to "Hey-this-is-not-difficult-after-all".

About the only negative I can bring up is that the mindfulness and concenteration is not increasing as much as I expected. I seem to have reached a plateau and progress in that area is glacial. The mind still goes on absurdly long daydreaming / fictional world building trips. I still lose all awareness of breath and its touch in many sessions, and have to strive hard to just remain focused on incoming and outgoing breath. But since the sittings are becoming easier, there is no reason to despair or any excuse to be lazy. I just need to keep striving diligently and let Dhamma take care of the rest.

This month I resolve to practice Anapanasati meditation every morning and evening for at least 55 minutes. The goal this month is to strive harder than before and try develop persistent awareness of the incoming and outgoing breath.

Due to certain changes (details in monthly report card) sitting for 55 minutes is no longer possible. It will take some time to ripen to sit for that long, and this past week I have been spending far too much time waiting for alarm to sound rather than focusing on respiration. Therefore to improve the quality of meditation, from today (29 Dec 2013) till 14 Jan 2014, I will deload and meditate twice daily for 50 minutes.

Sitting for 50 minutes is also not possible, and these constant failure to sit for resolved time have been weakening motivation to medtiate. Time to swallow the ego and begin at bottom: from today till 14 Jan 2014, I will meditate twice daily for 40 minutes each.

20140103Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140104Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140105Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140106Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140107Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140108Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140109Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140110Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140111Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140112Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140113Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140114Morning sitting.<Failure>

Last edited by Weakfocus on Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:47 am, edited 41 times in total.

I have hardly meditated the last few months. A while ago I sat everyday for about 90 days, but as soon as I missed a single day and lost my streak I quickly declined into spotty practice. In a talk, Ven Thanissaro recommended setting weekly goals so that a goal is not thrown out the window for a single day of lapse. I like one hour sessions, so my target will build some wiggle room on good days and use it up on lazy days.

In a talk, Ven Thanissaro recommended setting weekly goals so that a goal is not thrown out the window for a single day of lapse.

That's me. I try to meditate everyday for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. The day I lapse into not meditating, I feel depressed and give up on daily practice for the next few weeks/months. I think a weekly goal is a much better approach. So even if you fail you can still get another chance to make up for it. The trick is to make realistic goals that you will be sticking to despite bad days. I will try it.

Right its nearly the start of the 'New Year' its also my birthday... all good times for reflection having seen this thread and knowing what i know about myself I'm going for (initially) 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes of Metta in the evening

Aflame with the fire of passion, the fire of aversion, the fire of delusion.Aflame, with birth, aging & death, with sorrows, lamentations, pains, distresses, & despairs ......Seeing thus, the disciple of the Noble One grows disenchanted. SN 35.28

Fifth month of daily sitting is over. Time for the monthly 'report card'.

On 23 December I decided to change the height of the cushion I put under my ass. Until then I had been sitting on a firm cushion that boosted me about 3.5", and thus made sitting very easy. But I got to thinking that I would not have such a high cushion when I go to my Vipassana course sometime in the next few months, and thus chose a more realistic cushion that raised my hips only an inch.

The effect of this change was dramatic. Sittings became very difficult, I could not keep my back straight for more than 10 seconds and there was strong discomfort in legs and lower back. My legs started falling asleep big time, it would take 3-4 minutes to wake them up after a sitting. It was back to square one, the daily sittings became daily torture session. All the discomfort that I experienced in my first few months came back. I found it very difficult to maintain awareness of breath in face of this challenge.

Most alarmingly, my motivation to meditate daily started to weaken. I was no longer meditating, but merely enduring. So I accepted my weakness and deloaded to sittings of smaller duration and built up my confidence and mindfulness all over again. The body is malleable and the mind is trainable, so now by the end of the month I find these sittings 'doable' again. Daily sittings are no longer a torture, although still a healthy challenge.

The experience of this month is almost indescribable. It was like going through all the experiences of first three months, all over again, in just twenty days. Most months uptil now have been an exercise in surviving the crucible, but this month was special. It was as if someone (er, me) put a lid on my crucible and turned the heat upto 11. A real pressure cooker of a month. All the same, a very beneficial month. I found my limits. I learnt very important lessons in patience and perseverance, this should help me in future when other challenges arise.

As I end this month I find many positives. Earlier my tendency in face of physical discomfort was to start building pleasant fictional thought worlds to distract the mind, this time I spent far more time in noting the sensation and bringing back the attention to breath.

As a result of that, my mindfulness has not really weakened compared to last month. Inspite of all the drama I am infact ahead. During sittings, there is an almost constant awareness of some sensation or the other in the moustache area, although my aim for now is to stay with respiration and not observe these sensation. My legs now wake up in 30 seconds or less. I am able to keep back straight and sit very still for almost sixty seconds at a time. Everything is improving steadily. Best part is now I am more aware of mind losing its awareness of breath, and thus able to bring it back to breath more quickly. I no longer spend five minutes or more in thought worlds, I am able to catch myself in less than two minutes. Progress.

And now onto the sixth month. This month I resolve to practice Anapanasati meditation every morning and evening for at least 45 minutes. The aim is to maintain persistent, unbroken awareness of incoming and outgoing breath, as much as possible.

20140115Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140116Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140117Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140118Morning sitting.<Failure, 40 minute evening sitting>

20140119Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140120Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140121Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140122Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140123Morning sitting.<Failure>

20140124Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140125Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140126Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140127Morning sitting.<Failure, 40 minute evening sitting>

20140128Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140129Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140130Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

20140131Morning sitting.Evening sitting.

From today till 14 Feb 2014, I will meditate 50 minutes every morning and evening.

If last month I suffered physically, this month it was my turn to be defeated mentally. Mental focus became very weak. I lost most all touch of respiration, and keeping the mind focused on incoming and outgoing breath became a huge chore. Mind became extremely wild and started spending long periods in fictional thought worlds. I felt very helpless, nothing worked. There were some sittings in which I had no awareness of respiration except for one or two breaths. I have not experienced such poor mindfullness until now, as a beginner I had better focus and concenteration.

I will keep making my best efforts. There were one or two sittings when I was able to keep attention on breath as well as I ever have, so it was not all bad. Just going through a trough, I suppose. I have always been avid for quick progress on the path, patience is a virtue I sorely lack. So this month was a hard lesson that taught me to make persistent effort without expectations. Very humbling.

And now onto the seventh month. This month I resolve to practice Anapanasati meditation every morning and evening for at least 55 minutes.

If last month I suffered physically, this month it was my turn to be defeated mentally. Mental focus became very weak. I lost most all touch of respiration, and keeping the mind focused on incoming and outgoing breath became a huge chore. Mind became extremely wild and started spending long periods in fictional thought worlds. I felt very helpless, nothing worked.

Hi, Weakfocus. I recommend that you practice walking meditation for at least 45 minutes before any sitting meditation. If you persist you cannot be defeated.

Rain soddens what is covered up,It does not sodden what is open.Therefore uncover what is coveredThat the rain will not sodden it. Ud 5.5

If last month I suffered physically, this month it was my turn to be defeated mentally. Mental focus became very weak. I lost most all touch of respiration, and keeping the mind focused on incoming and outgoing breath became a huge chore. Mind became extremely wild and started spending long periods in fictional thought worlds. I felt very helpless, nothing worked.

Hi, Weakfocus. I recommend that you practice walking meditation for at least 45 minutes before any sitting meditation. If you persist you cannot be defeated.

might i suggest you pick a new name??????????????????

Aflame with the fire of passion, the fire of aversion, the fire of delusion.Aflame, with birth, aging & death, with sorrows, lamentations, pains, distresses, & despairs ......Seeing thus, the disciple of the Noble One grows disenchanted. SN 35.28