I am a 40-something European woman doing what I once thought wasn't possible: finding happiness after infertility. While it's been a long, difficult and emotional journey (10 unsuccessful IVF treatments), each day I take another step down the path toward a fulfilling new life. This is my story of reinvention.
I will be happy to hear from you: klara.soncek (@ ) gmail.com

Friday, March 21, 2014

Home, full of children's laughter (but only for 2 hours)

This is a photo of our table, taken yesterday. Yes, our living room was yesterday full of children's laughter and fun for two hours. It was lovely. I finished work early. And then I had my best friend's kids for two hours (aged 6 and 8). Our schedule was like this: 1. half an hour of doing homework 2. cycling to local bakery and each of us choose one delicious cake 3. eating a cake at home (them: in 2 minutes, me: in 5 minutes)4. one hour of doing homework The best compliment that I got was from the little girl. At the end I asked them if they want to repeat this in the future again. They both immediately said yes. I was glad, so I said that I will arrange with their mother in 14 days time or perhaps in 3 weeks time. Then the little girl immediately responded: "I want in 14 days!". I wasn't really sure if a child of 6 years understands what comes before: 14 days or 3 weeks. But the little girl is clever, she knows :) The kids enjoyed drinking tee from our cups with the photo of our beloved Wolf (otherwise they are afraid of dogs). When outside we met neighbors' dog (that resembles my Wolf). The boy asked me later if the dog has had any babies (he used this word). I said no. He asked, if she would have any babies. And I said no. His eyes got surprised and sad and he asked: "But why not?". (just a note: when I was his age and also much older, I was also very sure that every living creature has babies). What a difficult question to answer. I explained that the dog is mixed breed, that she has one of the best homes possible (the owners really adore her), but if she had pups, it would be difficult to find good homes for them, because a lot of people do not want dogs like that, so it is better that she does not have pups.

*** Those two children are for me a symbol of how long, hard and painful my path of infertility was. When I learned that their mother is pregnant, my heart was crushed. When they were born, my heart was broken. The first few years when seeing my friend with the little ones, were really hard. But now I am OK. I am glad that they are here. And I am glad that they are mine, even if only once in a while.