Whilst taking a power stroll with T-Han and Carly B-Real in the greater Green Lake area, I beheld a most inquisitive sight. This inquisitive sight led me to some thinking. This thinking led me to a 20 minute nap. The small amount of energy gained from that 20 minute nap led me to writing this post. Writing this post will lead me to another 20 minute nap. See? Naps are cyclical.

At first, the sight appeared to be a jumbled heap of khaki and mystery. On closer inspection, the tan-accented streak blurring by wasn't a streak at all. It was a human being. But not just any human being. It was an older-gentleman-with-a-thick-white-beard-sporting-a-collage-of-taupe-based-clothing-items (jacket, pants, socks, visor beanie, etc.) while-riding-a-Razor-scooter type human being. His hood was pitched over his head, clinging on for dear life to an extremely large pair of blue blocker sunglasses. He jerkily pumped his stout legs, rambling by cyclists and people that were walk-dating. "That's pretty normal," I thought to myself out loud. But then I looked closer - at the man's feet, and there they were:

Oh baby. That's right. Kirkland Signature Court Classic Sneakers. You can pick up a pair of these comfort rockets at your local Costco Wholesale for about 15-20 bucks.

You've seen these shoes countless times in countless places on countless people. This leads to a vital question: Have you ever seen someone brandishing these "weapons of fast construction" who ISN'T over/around the age of 50? My GUESS is that you haven't. My THEORY is that when you approach the age of 50 and have proven yourself worthy of ultimate economical coziness, you'll simply wake to a pair of K. Sig Court C's gently tied around your feet. They'll just be there. And there's nothing you can do to not have them. You'll try to fight them off, but in time you'll grow to admire their seamless comfort and bland Barbara Bush-like looks. Resistance is futile. To help prove my point please enjoy disfan1's earth-shattering review of the K. Sig Court C's:

So last night I was out with the boyz hittin' up some merry hour at the 5 Spot. I suggested a new game that has since swept kick the nation 'neath the ankles: developing fictitious names for dive bars. Here's the shortlist from last night:

The Dirty Scoundral

Grundle's

The Stinky Saddle

Old Friendly's

Jake the Snake's

The Pumphouse

The Snug Pocket

The Thirsty Turtle

The Sink

The Reservation

Sketchies

Tipsy McDrunks

The Trombone

Key Arena

Updated names from viewers:

Fartbangers

Straddleback's

The John McEnroe

Qwerty's

Sinkin Sally

Sticky Pete's

Derf Langer's

The Screaming Midget

The list is getting more and more amazing. Thank you Christopher, Les, and Travis.

This game is very rich. Feel very free to leave your dive bar names in the comment section. Or don't. Now that you've had some more time to think about it you probably should.