The Heat Is On (Because Glenn Frey Is On Fire)

I had to call *REDACTED* today because I was having problems with my account. The customer service rep was from Ireland, and to pass the time as we waited for a confirmation email to send he asked how the weather was in Arizona right now. “Is it 80 over there?”, he asked, apparently unaware of the one thing that everyone knows about Arizona (The One Thing: It’s really, really, really hot, dammit). “It was 117 on Friday, 115 on Saturday and I’m not sure what the temp is today but this morning I saw a pigeon burst into flames in mid-air”, I replied.

Moral of the story: it’s too damn hot (and customer service reps don’t ask questions about flaming pigeons). So here are some hot weather haikus I wrote to commemorate this sweltering, sweaty weekend.