Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Loved meeting Fatima Bhutto and launching her debut novel 'The Shadow of the Crescent Moon' in Mumbai last evening.
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This appeared in The Week...

Abused
Images

A few weeks ago, I was sent a link by a
female friend in America to a website featuring dramatically altered images of
popular Hindu Goddesses. She asked me whether the images would cause trouble
for the designers of the visuals in India. On the face of it, the ‘cause’ being
addressed via the campaign was worthy enough. It was meant to draw attention to
the alarming increase in violent crimes against women in India. But the manner
in which this serious issue was being tackled, left me feeling disturbed and
upset. Perhaps, that was the whole point. The images chosen for this purpose
were the ones we are entirely familiar with….. and love! Our pantheon of Goddesses (as depicted
through popular calendar art ) is easily and instantly recognizable. Garishly
painted posters of Saraswati, Lakshmi, Durga in
traditional forms (think Raja Ravi Varma), can be seen across the country,
often on pavements of our temple towns. Pilgrims buy these glossy prints to
display on their walls back home. The devout offer prayers and worship these
vivid art works. To be confronted by the same images …. but grotesquely distorted
and digitally transformed, came as a terrible shock. I certainly didn’t want to
look closely at this Saraswati’s face or
Lakshmi’s. Not if the well loved faces were projected with black eyes and
bruises, gashes and cuts. Was I being over sensitive? Goddesses as victims of
physical abuse ? Even if the intention is to draw parallels between the
battered state of our women in real life and the exalted position of our
Goddesses , sorry, but the message was lost in the sensationalistic approach
that shocked but did not connect. To me, those terrible images were an assault
on my senses. The horrible truth about how we treat women in India is known to
all. That the same woman who is publicly hailed as a Goddess, is often beaten
black and blue at home, is also not a secret. Even so, I couldn’t look at the
pictures without cringing. Purpose well served? Or side tracked?

I am sure there must be thousands of others
who took equal offence. Call it an exaggerated sense of sentimentality, but
there it is. I experienced strong revulsion
and deep anger, that has stayed. One can argue that the cause is bigger than
the depicted desecration. To that, I would counter argue : what about emotion?
Just as we respect the feelings of rape victims and refrain from flashing close
ups that high light evidence of physical brutality, believing such an act would
further traumatize the person, why not extend the same logic here? My more
cerebral girl friends have assured me this controversial campaign has succeeded
in what it set out to do. They say it has generated global attention and jolted
enough people. I am sure that is true. But jolted them into doing something
about the crisis? Or merely jolted them? There’s a huge difference.

We must know where to draw the line.
Especially when it involves religious sensitivities. I refuse to wear my religion on the sleeve, but
that does not give anybody the right to offend me in the name of a social
cause. We are in the midst of an overwhelming crisis involving defenceless
women and children – their safety, their health, their well being, their
future. Drawing world wide attention to this problem is our collective
obligation. But in the process, we also have a huge responsibility towards the
very segment we are attempting to aid. Campaigns that are so in your face, can
often be counter- productive. Rather than pushing us to do something about the
stepped up atrocities against women, such a strategy can push us away from
dealing with harsh and ugly realities. I
must have been taken off guard when I first encountered the Abused Goddesses.
But I experienced a sharp stab of pain, as I hastily turned away and tried in
vain to obliterate what I had seen.

Diwali will be here soon. Goddess Lakshmi
in all her glory, will be welcomed into millions of homes. Indians across the
world will pray for prosperity and peace for all. In those prayers will be
included the fervent hope that the future of women and children, not just in
our country, but wherever they are, will be safer and significantly more
secure. It is time for reflection and respect. Not shock and abuse. Let a
thousand lights illuminate our minds and hearts.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Today is Karwa Chauth. Ahem. I am not fasting in honour of my husband. And my hands are devoid of
mehendi. I didn’t participate in Sindhoor Khela either. Does that make me a
terrible wife? Should I be feeling guilty? I have never observed Karwa Chauth.
And my husband is still talking to me. Then again, he has never kept a fast for
me. Does that make him a bad husband? Should he feel guilty? It doesn’t work
like that, my women friends who are fasting today, say staunchly. Fasts and prayers are traditionally
dedicated to the men in the family. I am told by fasting during Karwa Chauth, a wife believes she is extending
her husband’s life. Which is all
very well. But what about the wife’s life? No extension for the poor lady?
Errrr… I am walking straight into a land mine here. I am about to blow myself
up. And this is the right moment to exit the debate. Stop me, someone!

The
first and only time I was invited to a Karwa Chauth lunch was by a well
meaning, unsuspecting neighbor. That was years ago. Not knowing what to expect,
I strolled in casually dressed. There were over thirty ladies present in the
large living room. All of them were clad in bridal finery and feeling awfully
virtuous. One of them was a freshly minted wife – a simpering dulhan. This was
her first Karwa Chauth and all the other mother hens were cluck-clucking around
her. I felt like an intruder who
had crashed a bizarre initiation
ceremony. I was asked - loudly and aggressively - “ So… you don’t fast for your husband?” I
cheerfully shook my head and replied, “ Nope!”
There was a quick exchange of meaningful, knowing looks (“ She is not
like us!”). Seeing their disapproving expressions, I made it worse by adding, “
My husband doesn’t fast for me , either.” The women guffawed – “ As if men will
ever give up food for their wives.” But
why were these ladies dressed like they were
inside a shaadi ka mandap? There was music and dance, bangles, bindis,
dupattas in vivid colours. And they were obviously waiting for something and
someone. Aaah – the moon and the men. At
some point, both appeared and it was all over. The husbands looked mighty
pleased as their wives gazed at them through a large strainer. The wives looked
even more pleased when their mates fed them icky, sticky, evil-looking mithai. Next,
the hungry wives pounced on platters of
rich food, but not before pouncing on the lavish gifts given by their
grateful husbands. All this drama for giving up khaana-peena for a few hours!

I guess this ritual made sense in ye olde
days when men went to war and engaged in other foolish activities ( hunting!).
Men still go to war. They still hunt. But in a different context. Corporate
wars can leave a chap pretty bloodied. Agreed. But that’s not war-war. All this
was going on inside my wicked head when I received a call yesterday reminding
me about a very high profile Karwa Chauth lunch in the city . Damn ! I didn’t
want to subject myself to another round of accusations. And I certainly didn’t
want to climb into my nauwaari saree and make pretend that I was a love-lorn
bride praying for my hubby’s long life. Besides, the weather has been playing
cruel tricks on us. What if the moon did a no-show? Would I have to starve an
extra hour or two till our lunar friend was spotted? I asked my husband whether
he minded my not fasting for him on Karwa Chauth. I urged him to be perfectly
honest and swear he wouldn’t hold it against me if I nibbled on a macaroon or
two. He said it was fine. That made me feel worse. I even suggested we starve
together. For each other. He said he wasn’t SRK in DDLJ.I said that was okay.
Did I look like Kaajol ? This was getting complicated. So, I rashly promised to
make it up to him in some other form. He jumped at the offer!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Gods and Goddesses are allowed to fall sick
in India.But not our politicians. I have never understood our nervousness over
health issues when it comes to our netas. Come on, guys - people fall sick!
Everyone deals with illness in some form or the other.We can handle it! But our
politicians want the world to believe they are omnipotent superhuman beings who don’t know what it means
to be struck by a bug. If possible, they won’t be caught sneezing or sniveling
in public lest rivals jump to the worst conclusions and declare them terminally
ill. This week’s fiasco in Uttar Pradesh ( not the one you are thinking of), is
a case in point. It involved a rather foolish and badly timed hoarding put up
by a certain Haseeb Ahmed ( UPCC secretary) and a Srishchand Dubey. Clearly men
who need to work on their political savvy. Men so eager to prove their slavish
loyalty to Priyanka Gandhi, they forgot all about propriety when they had the temerity
to mention the unmentionable – Sonia Gandhi’s poor health. And they did so in
crude, unambiguous lingo when they stated the nation’s ‘Maiyya’ was ‘beemar’.
All hell broke loose, and two heads promptly rolled. The culprits were
suspended and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a still worse fate awaits them,
now that the Beemar Bomb has dropped.

While Dilliwallas have known about
Madamji’s delicate health for a while, it has become an unwritten diktat that
the subject is strictly off limits. The topic is taboo. Even Sonia’s most
virulent critics have stayed away from making a reference to her ill health in
public. They attack her and the family on nearly every other problem ( Damaad
Vadra isn’t being spared , either). But
the exact nature of her health issue has been kept under wraps ever since Sonia
made that first trip to America for what was called a ‘check up’. Respecting a
high profile individual’s right to privacy is one thing. But when that
individual happens to be the most powerful person in a country of over a
billion people, then, I am sorry, citizens also have the right to know that
person’s medical status. Sonia’s health bulletin, in the context of the
imminent elections, is definitely of concern to the voter. While nobody wants
to pry, it is obligatory on the part of Sonia’s party members to share basic
information with us. Information ,that is likely to impact/ influence voting.
Let us not pretend Sonia’s health has zero influence on the minds of the
electorate. The anxiety is entirely valid. After all, it is she who has created the aura, the lofty position
for herself in the country. To put it bluntly – Rahul’s leadership is directly
linked to Sonia’s leadership. It is a package deal. People accept it as that.
Rahul makes no bones about his mother’s considerable influence over his politics.He
made that abundantly clear when he referred to ‘Mummy’s’ reaction to his
explosive outburst against the ordinance. He followed that up by declaring his
respect for just two individuals – Mummyji and Manmohanji ( an after-
thought?). Sonia has been Rahul’s mentor and backbone. Without Mummyji to steer
his fledgling political career, Rahul faces serious confidence issues within
and outside the Congress Party. Which is precisely why it is of paramount
interest to be transparent about Sonia’s
health at this critical political stage where every cue, sign and symbol count.
Also,where every swing, vote and shift in loyalty can make or break the power
structure.

Those jokers who rashly put up the
offensive hoarding in the busy Civil
Lines area of Allahabad , compounded the
original sin by mentioning Bhaiyya Rahul’s overburdened position, implying he’d
have to look after his ‘beemar maiyya’ and may not have the time for politics!
The idea , of course, was to publicly urge Priyanka Gandhi to contest from
Phoolpur , which was her great- grand father Jawaharlal Nehru’s constituency.
This clumsy appeal may have been well meaning and typically chamcha-ish. But
how it back fired! By the time the punishment was meted out to the two idiots,
the damage was done. The story was splashed across India and rapidly opened up
the floodgates of speculation. It is still not too late for damage control,
though. Party officials should immediately go into a huddle and issue a
statement that is transparent and upfront. If the dear lady is indeed very
‘beemar’, we should not burden her further with intrusive questions and
additional responsibilities. Just say it like it is, folks. And she’ll be left
alone. Her privacy will remain intact and be respected. Right now, there are
wild, unsubstantiated rumours doing the rounds. This is in nobody’s interest.
The real picture is likely to be far more optimistic with no real grounds for
panic and doomsday predictions. This is how it works in a real democracy. When
an American President checks into even a dental clinic to get a molar fixed,
the public is told about it. The American citizen believes he or she has the right to know when
their President requires medical treatment – even if it is for a minor scratch.

It is time for Sonia and her minders to
take the nation into confidence and brief citizens regarding her health. We
want to know what exactly is wrong with the Congress President. Given the role
she plays in all our lives, it is imperative that we are informed. There isn’t
a single Indian who won’t wish her a speedy recovery. She should know that.

Friday, October 18, 2013

I am so thrilled with my rejacketed books! I think they are looking smashing!
Blogdosts - opinions, please!
Gavin , the super talented designer at Penguin Random House Books, has 'styled'' and 'dressed' the covers in pure Red Carpet style!
I am delighted the back list is selling well. With these 'hot'' new covers, I am sure we'll attract more readers - young, hip and hungry for words!!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Listen up, all you people. At the end of
the day, we are all chatterati, okay? Don’t feel bad. It is not such a terrible
thing to be. Let’s face it, nobody but nobody knows what the hell is going on
in our country right now. The Prime Minister is as clueless as you and I. It’s
a game of hit and miss – mainly miss. And all the self- styled experts who are
grandly making predictions about Elections 2014, may have to eat crow
eventually. This is how it has always been for the past few general elections.
It works something like this: overnight, as it were, an entire industry springs
up out of nowhere. Fossils of various vintages are dug out of obscurity and
asked their opinions on the outcome of the elections. And they dutifully trot
out numbers that nobody remembers once the results are out. Suddenly, a hush
descends across television channels as the fossils go back into their burrows
and we all look for new topics to devour.

But, this election is going to be
qualitatively different. The cast of characters is new and untested and the
quicksand of shifting loyalties is keeping everybody guessing. That includes
the very vocal and opinionated chatterati. For the first time in the history of
India we will be participating in an election that will be considerably
influenced by assorted internet platforms… where the chatterati count.. If the
last general election was about the power and penetration of television, this
one is definitely going to be defined by Twitter, FB and beyond . And here is
where the chatterati play such a critical role. The only neta to have
recognized the power of this phenomenon is Narendra Modi. With his tech-savvy
team working in over drive for the past three years, the man has a plan in
place, and that plan includes incorporating all the clout which is abundantly available
across social media platforms – that
too, for free! Well – nearly free. His team has also factored in the multiple
voices of the chatterati and instead of talking down to this influential
segment, has strenuously courted it.

Rahul Baba’s approach is far more baffling.
One would have thought he would have been the first chap off the mark in
harnessing social media . But no! He is still standing at the gatepost
obstinately refusing to throw his hat into the ring , while keeping the country
guessing with his infuriating ‘will he
or won’t he’ game. One really feels tempted to give the reluctant debutant a
good shake and say, “ For God’s sake, dude… make up your mind, so we can make
up ours.” In all this mess, guess who is slowly but systematically climbing up
the popularity charts? An unlikely candidate, according to the chatterati… but
he’s right there ! And nobody can ignore
him now. Arvind Kejriwal is attracting
his fair share of sincere supporters who see him as the big change. So, while
the experts refuse to take their eyes off NAMO and RAGA, there’s actually a third bloke sneaking up on the two of them.
Not that Kejriwal stands much of a chance, poor fellow. But one must hand it to
him for giving the fight a good go. Even more amazingly enough, the chatterati
are suddenly keen on him, for he
represents something that is glaringly…. blindingly…. lacking in public life
today - a conscience. I have been
talking to several sympathizers who are reaching for their wallets and sending
contributions to Kejriwal, only because they are so utterly , bitterly disillusioned
with and disgusted by the rest. Kejriwal’s Aam Aadmi pitch is increasingly
appealing to this lot, and no – nobody is feeling sheepish about expressing
admiration for an individual who resolutely refused to give up. Even when
everybody else had … on him. Kejriwal was
brusquely written off by India.
And yes,by the chatterati, too. It needs guts and determination, they are now
saying, to take on a system this corrupt, this all pervasive. And he has done
just that. Kejriwal seems to be the dark horse who just may have understood the
tricky path that leads to the heart of the betrayed Indian voter. If, indeed he
has, then the confusion of the chatterati may actually help propel the man who can never be
the Mahatma, but could do the job just being himself.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

I am told every woman Gulzar meets, regardless of age, wants to elope with the poet!
I was tempted! Not that he asked.... but! Here we are at the Bangalore Lit Fest, on our way to the stage to felicitate Hari Prasad Chaurasia - the world's greatest living flautist. And that's Vikram Sampath, a key organiser of the BILF.
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This appeared in Mumbai Mirror today...

Meet the
‘QSQT’ lady….

Arundhati Bhattacharya created banking
history earlier this week when she was elevated to an exceptional position :
She became the first woman to head the 206-year-old State Bank of India. This
makes the 57-year-old banker one of the most powerful people – people , not
woman – in the world. As someone who has already featured on the prestigious
Fortune 500 list, all eyes will be on Ms. Bhattacharya as she confronts the
monumental challenges ahead. She has just three short years to tackle the
bloated problem of bad loans besides
overseeing the operations of a staggering 15,000 SBI branches . How did she
attain this position? Well – the old-fashioned way! She worked hard for 36 long
years.The appointment involved a tedious
process. In the final round, she beat three others vying for the coveted post
during the interview, and was anointed by the prime minister himself. For
someone who joined the bank as a lowly probationary officer in 1977, her rise
to the top of the pile has been steady and rock solid. During her uninterrupted
career with SBI, she has, of course,held positions of enormous responsibility in different capacities and been a part of breakthrough
launches in related businesses. The quote she is best known for is catchy and
unexpected. She advised people in the financial sector to get out of the “QSQT
culture”. In other words, to break out of the “ Quarter Se Quarter Tak”
mentality and look at the bigger picture. Married to a chartered accountant,
Arundhati has been a low key professional in an era of over hyped success
stories. While it is indeed remarkable that it is only in India that we so many
women heading gigantic banks ( eight, at last count), should one be going into
a euphoric trance over this highly privileged ladies club which is being cutely
referred to as “Lehman Sisters”? Why not? Goes one argument. Every single woman
in this league is there because she has earned that corner office.
Interestingly enough, nearly all these accomplished ladies fall into the
“conventional” , and dare I say it, even ‘homely’ category. They are a far cry
from the heavily caricatured career demons projected in American sit coms. Our
ladies don’t need to climb into unflattering business suits and drink beer with the boys at a friendly neighbourhood bar. They appear graceful and relaxed in
bright and beautiful sarees, as they negotiate shark infested waters with
aplomb, without having to change their body language or yell the competition
down. Yes, they are tough. Theirs jobs demand teeth and talons. But the ones I
know are endearingly soft spoken and don’t need to flaunt a ‘take me seriously’
fake attitude. This is what separates the girls from the women.

If
only more of our corporate ladies took their cues from individuals like
Arundhati Bhattacharya, there’d be less stress at the workplace. Our
advertising further compounds the problem by consistently projecting career women in a certain stereotypical light
– those hideous suits, that awful attitude. There is rarely any hint of a
family life in these depictions – no kids, no spouse, no in- laws. Just terrifying, robotic battle axes sporting
sleek, no nonsense hair and unfussy make up. Their nails are short and painted
in nude shades. They carry their iPads in discreet designer covers. Everything
about their lives looks hellishly organized and scarily subdued. But the
reality of our banking ladies is entirely different. I have been to some of
their homes. I have met their children and in-laws, their husbands and staff
members.There is nothing exaggerated about their daily routines.

It will be interesting to monitor
Arundhati’s three years as Chairperson of SBI. She will, of course, be expected
to announce certain bold and innovative measures soon. In that, she will be
compared to the new RBI Guv, who has already set the ball in motion with his
global thinking and experience. But unlike Raghu, who has been converted into a
glam poster boy of the drab banking world ( I plead guilty!), Arundhati is
likely to be left alone to get on with her job without having to worry about
presenting her best angle during photo-ops. As a hardnosed professional,
Arundhati will have to go out there and recover at least some of those bad
loans. That’s going to be one hell of a call for her given the current the
state of corporate India. But if anybody can pull it off, it’s this modest,
hard working and brainy lady with her sensible QSQT approach.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I am off to Kolkata to celebrate Pujo with the extended family. May or may not be in this space. Pandal hopping followed by a short break in Thailand.... before getting back to beloved Mumbai. Have a wonderful Navratri, BLOGDOSTS! Love you... will miss you....
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This appears in The Week.....

‘Dehati Aurat’ –
who me???

Okay. So we still don’t know for sure
whether or not he said it. Poor Nawaz Sharif
found himself in a bit of a media mess recently when he was widely (mis)
quoted on a remark that couldn’t be
corroborated but was flung around by people like Narendra Modi, regardless.
Frankly, it makes zero sense to me. Why would Sharif refer to Manmohan Singh as
a ‘dehati aurat”? What is the implication? And hello! where is the ‘insult’ to
India’s mahaan Prime Minister, assuming this remark was indeed made? Nawaz may
have got his voluminous shalwars into a twist with desi presswallahs, but frankly,
Modi’s OTT attempt at whipping national outrage over it, backfired pretty
badly. For one, Modi’s bleeding heart, over reaction sounded insincere and
theatrical. For another, all the real ‘dehati aurats’ in India were miffed. I
am including myself. What the hell! Is being called ‘dehati’ a put down in the
first place? Is it derogatory to refer to a man as an ‘aurat’? By displaying
shock and hurt over this innocuous comment, we have once again exposed our
prejudices to the world.

What is so terrible about being identified
as a ‘dehati’ ? Loosely translated, it refers to someone who is from a rural
background – a villager who is possibly illiterate, but is unambiguously a non-sophisticate. Dehatis form the majority in India. If
someone referred to me as a ‘dehati’ , I would smile and say ‘Thank you!” Why are we so damn touchy? Rather, an
honest-to-goodness ‘dehati’ than a pathetic urban wannabe. And as for the
‘aurat’ part of it – in today’s day and age, a confident man should have zero
issues if someone called him a woman ( even if that someone was trying to act
funny). Just for the record, a ‘dehati aurat’ in our society, is grounded,
tough, practical and a survivor all the way. She has to battle tremendous odds
just to hang in there, raise a family and push ahead somehow. She handles her meager resources deftly and
manages to balance her precarious position in a backward,
patriarchal society that gives her zero status. She cooks, cleans, slogs day
and night,nurturing her family with no recognition, no rewards. Aha … but look
at the upside. Unlike her city sisters, she doesn’t need to worry about her
size zero frame (hers may be the result
of malnutrition). Nor does she lose sleep over not possessing designer handbags
and haute couture . No kitty parties for her, no front row fretting during Fashion Weeks. No weekends in Ibiza ( look what that break
did to poor Katrina Kaif).No competition melt downs to deal with at the work
place. No bitching to battle at society soirees…. isn’t she in a far better space?

I
look at Rabri Devi’s extraordinary life and marvel at her incredible
resilience. What hasn’t she gone through? She is the archetypal ‘Dehati Aurat’.
Today, her husband Lalu Prasad Yadav, is in jail, while she is
spiritedly rallying his supporters and putting up a feisty resistance against those
who she says have framed her good husband. She has done it earlier as well –
and won the admiration of those who had cruelly mocked her. Rabri Devi has no
problems with her ‘dehati’ status. Nor does someone like a Mayawati. Mamata
Banerjee can also be dubbed ‘dehati’ by critics, even though she holds several
academic degrees. Perhaps, back in Italy, Sonia Gandhi’s countrymen also think
of her as a slightly rustic person . Who knows? And who cares?

In
Manmohan Singh’s place, I would not feel in the least bit slighted over the
perceived taunt. A ‘Dehati Aurat’ is the
backbone of India. She is Nargis Dutt playing an iconic role as ‘Mother India’.
We need to acknowledge our Dehati Aurats far more than we do. If I were an influential fashion designer, I
would immediately create a line inspired by this woman or launch a new label
called ‘Dehati Aurat’. It would certainly be a whole lot more identifiable than
the dreadfully tacky red carpet rip offs designers claim are their own
creations. This is a serious Gown over Ghagra moment in our social consciousness. I am ready
to start a Dehati Aurat movement that
will restore the skewered balance in our madcap existence. Perhaps I should
invite Nawaz Sharif to become the President of
the newly formed organization?

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Oh, how I love this lad! Rahul Baba has
given India a brand new narrative overnight! Forget Alibaba, we now have our
own fable titled “ Rahul Baba and the Chaalis Chor.” Though , frankly speaking,
forty is a seriously modest number , when you consider just how many criminals
there are in Parliament at present ( for a ball park figure, multiply 40 by 10).
Rahul’s “Ordinance Outrage” ( as it has
been aptly dubbed) was nothing short of
a masterstroke. No debate there.While miffed Bollywood directors were
squabbling over India’s official entry to the Oscar’s, here was an award
winning performance that could teach many
an overreaching superstar a thing or two about histrionics and timing! I
have watched that incredible “ All
nonsense” clip many times over. And I am
pretty certain about one thing : this was no temper tantrum. Nor was it a spontaneous explosion.
Everything about ‘that moment’ appears rehearsed and well planned. And one has
to hand it to Rahul – he couldn’t have improved on the script! While Namo, his
main rival, was still banging on about ‘Dehati aurat’ (oh please, get over it,
already!), Rahul nonchalantly hijacked someone else’s press conference ( tch!
Tch! Bad manners, sonny boy), gave a Gabbar Singh look straight to camera,
curled his pout into a menacing sneer and took off. He just took off! And let
fly. Shabaash! In one go, he achieved several objectives, not the least being the
crushing of Modi’s bombast.

Young India worships those who dare ( most
of our ad commercials featuring products aimed at male consumers are
unambiguously macho and laud those who challenge the status quo). Well, Rahul
played up to popular sentiment, played straight to the galleries and walked
away with all the applause. It is hard to believe he did what he did in
isolation. Or that he wasn’t tutored. It’s even harder to accept that Sonia,
his mother, was unaware her son was
about to drop a bomb. A bomb that had the potential to alter the India story dramatically.
Subversion on this scale? Scary! It wasn’t just about displaying an absolute
lack of good etiquette (whatever the personal equation between him and Manmohan
Singh, there is something called protocol and propriety in public life). To diminish the office of the Prime Minister
when the man wasn’t in the country is to cock a snook at democratic functioning
itself. Let’s compare Rahul’s out of turn comment to an off the cuff remark
made by a headboy of a large school ,
which insults an absent Principal during assembly. Any good school would first
rusticate the headboy for insubordination and then go into the reason for his
deplorable conduct. No such thing happens in India, when it comes to our netas.

This
is not to say Rahul was wrong in asking for this preposterous ordinance to be
junked forthwith. He has the gratitude and support of the entire nation for
getting it scrapped. But surely, there was a better way to achieve this
objective? Or does none of that matter given the larger good? Worrying
question.Today, Rahul is India’s biggest hero for speaking up and getting
others to speak up on what would most certainly have been the most besharam
ordinance in our history. Is this a foretaste of things to come? If Rahul Baba
gets bugged by something else in future, will he once again call it ‘nonsense’
and insist its papers be “torn up and thrown away”? He made it sound as simple
as that! Elders in traditional Indian families are known to indulgently shake
their heads when a child misbehaves and croon , “ Jaaney bhi do… bachchpana
hai.” Rahul Gandhi behaved like a spolit
brat – let’s face it. This one time, we can pardon him, since it was all for a
greater common good. The real fear is that having tasted blood, he may take
this route again and again . Then what?

As of now, the Modi camp has gone into a
huddle wondering how to top Rahul’s Ordinance salvo. Modi’s Toilets-and-Temples
speech has not found too many takers, though I am one hundred per cent with him
on this one. It would be interesting to monitor how many public toilets have
been constructed by his government in Gujarat. The last time I was there,
locals were still peeing and crapping in the open, and the drains were not
covered. If it’s going to be a toss up between ganda nullahs and ganda netas,
we know where the country stands on this issue. At least one jailed neta ( Lalu
Prasad Yadav) has made sure he has a clean , tiled toilet for himself inside
Ranchi jail. His khaana peena is also sounding pretty good. He has a television
set and enough khaini to keep his senses lulled and his mind comparatively
quiet while he serves time. Lalu going
to jail in the first place, is all thanks to Rahul Gandhi. Closer to home,
Rahul may have a far tougher time dealing with some of his notorious kith and
kin. Keeping criminals out of Parliament is the easy part . But keeping
criminals out of ones own backyard?? Aha – haven’t you heard of the phrase:
‘Charity begins at home?”

Friday, October 4, 2013

This appeared in Sunday Times...BTW, i was masochistic enough to actually sit through 'Besharam'' last night. I deserved the torture!

One more unappetising
movie controversy….

This is really getting impossible to
digest! It’s Oscar time , folks. And the jury has picked ‘The Good Road’ as
India’s official entry. It is assumed the 16-member jury has done so fairly and
minus prejudice. Accept the verdict… and go back to your aubergines, ye critics.
I watched and enjoyed ‘The Lunchbox’ immensely, as did countless others. But I
am not over-reacting to the jury’s decision and taking it personally. Chacun a
son gout (“ to each his own taste’, as the French put it). I have not watched
‘The Good Road’ so far , and according to
vociferous critics of the movie, neither have too many other film
lovers. This anomaly is meant to support the critics’ argument that there was
some sort of a sinister conspiracy against the universally acclaimed ‘The
Lunchbox’. Come on, guys. Grow up! Take it on the chin and move on.
Undoubtedly, ‘The Lunchbox’ is a lyrical, delicately balanced film exploring
urban loneliness via a clever cinematic device (the title’s dabba). And yes, it
has the backing of heavy- weights from
India and abroad ( I stopped counting the number of producers after the first
five names). But should the eminent jury have been swayed by that business
arrangement and nominated the movie against their better judgment? ‘The Lunchbox’ has received rave reviews,
done the international film circuit, garnered global good will, generated a
positive buzz and wowed critics. Deservedly so. But that still does not take
away the right of a duly appointed jury to pick a film they believe is the
better choice. Or else, why have a jury in the first place? Let popular opinion,
combined with the influential backing of
big ticket movie makers, take the final call. Unfortunately, this time
round, Goutam Ghose, the well respected
Chairperson of the jury, has himself gone to town and voiced his preference for
‘The Lunchbox’ over ‘The Good Road’. This is never done! His public dissent really does insult the status and opinion of colleagues on the jury and adds fuel to the fire
that’s burning up social media.

For
years we have been messing up big time at the Oscar’s by sending the most
preposterous films to compete in the Best Foreign Film category. There have
been charges and counter charges of favouritism and / or discrimination after
every announcement. This year we were indeed spoilt for choice – so many
wonderful films all in one go! But after Ghose put his foot into the boiling
cauldron of controversy, we instantly
lost perspective. He talked about how it would have been “easier to convince
the Oscar jury’’ (about ‘The Lunchbox’) since the film has a ‘good cast’ plus a
foreign distributor (Sony Pictures Classics). Inadvertently, Ghose has revealed
one of Hollywood’s best kept secrets : it’s all about lobbying. And lobbying at
those levels requires big bucks. ‘The Lunchbox’ had both – the required
financial backing, plus the clout to push ahead in Hollywood. Instead, the jury
bravely picked a small budget movie made by Gyan Correa, who is a relatively
unknown film maker, and which deals with an uncomfortable topic – child
prostitution along the highways of Kutch. Squeamish members of the Gujarati
film fraternity promptly jumped into the fray and started talking about the movie
‘defaming’ Gujarat! Words like ‘blasphemous’ have been thrown around. Hello???
Self- appointed guardians of morality assumed overnight charge of Gujarat’s
fair (?) image and asked how NFDC could have used ‘people’s money’ to make a
film that shows India in a poor light. “ It is their duty to show the country
in a good light,” thundered an enraged director, quite forgetting that it is
certainly not the ‘duty’ of a film maker ( or any creative person) to play
propagandist.

Now that dirty politics has entered the
frame, it’s going to lead to a few bloodied, out of joint noses in the days to come. ‘The
Lunchbox’ may have appealed to aficionados of cinema, and tickled countless
taste buds, but it is the road less travelled, that will be shown to foreigners ( that is, if ‘The Good
Road’ makes the final cut) There is also
the other silly debate as to which of the two films is more ‘Indian’ in
content. Well, Ritesh Batra’s unusual,
essentially urban take on emotionally marginalised people in Mumbai is as
‘Indian’ as Gyan Correa’s movie about a grittier rural reality. Let’s not quibble over which of these two Indias will ‘sell’ better overseas –
such an attitude only reveals our own
insecurities…. not the brilliance of our film makers.

The jury has pronounced its verdict. Is the
decision that hard to digest? Heartburn ke liye ek achcha solution hai : ask
the Aunty upstairs for a herbal remedy!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Just got back from what is sure to become THE premiere Lit Fest in India - the just concluded one in Bangalore.Everything about it is right - mainly, the all important vision. More on that in another post...

**************

This appeared in the Mumbai Mirror...

We are all racists…

It happened to Professor Prabhjot Singh
this week in New York. He was battered by a mob of 30 people on bicycles who taunted him by screaming ‘Osama’, ‘terrorist’ while he
was walking through Harlem last Saturday night. They ripped his beard and
assaulted him till a passerby intervened and saved his life. By then ,
Prof.Singh had suffered a jaw fracture. Bloody and bruised, he certainly was.
But not down and out, as his subsequent quotes prove. Understandably, his main
concern was for his one-year-old son who he fears may also suffer a similar
fate later in life. It’s a legitimate fear in a world that is wracked with hate
crimes. Earlier this month, Nina Davuluri….
the newly crowned Miss America was subjected to equally violent personal
attacks which, despite being verbal not physical, were no less lethal. Seconds
after Nina was crowned, she became the target of the most vituperative racist
abuse online. She too was dubbed a
terrorist and an agent of Al Qaeda on
various social media platforms. People mocked her skin colour and questioned her American identity . Like Prof.
Prabhjot Singh, Nina D… also took the
unprecedented attacks in her stride and in the bargain, won more than just a
beauty pageant title – she garnered world wide respect.

We are talking about two highly educated
professionals of Indian origin facing the collective fury of mobs who hate them.
Why? For what reason?Well, bluntly put, for not being White! In a country that
elected its first Black President in history, there has been a disturbing
downslide in acceptance/ tolerance levels when it comes to racial issues in
recent years. One had hoped – even dared
to imagine - Barack Obama’s amazing ascent would trigger off a new era of
equality and colour blindness, more so in a nation that is the planet’s biggest melting pot of
ethnic differences. And yet, what we are living through is a shameful chain of
events that conclusively establishes the rise of intolerance and hate.There has
to be a reason for this escalation of racial attacks. And the reason is nothing
more than plain ignorance. We live in a world that is not just alarmingly
ignorant but let’s be honest – largely illiterate. No matter what the
statistics show, the new literates are in fact scarily uneducated in real
terms. And it is this lack of education - an absence of genuine learning - that is leading to a
widespread epidemic of crime against those who look different, eat different,
smell different, act different, are different.

But wait a minute… we are no better in
India. Before we cast the first stone, let us whip ourselves first. Nina D
would not have made it past the first round here, had she had the gumption to
fill the beauty contest form in the first place. And poor Professor
Prabhjot Singh might also have had to
cope with his share of pathetic Sardarji
jokes. Our obsession with lighter skin has been around for centuries. The
incredibly high sales of products that promise a fairer skin to men and women (
soon there’ll be one for babies – why wait for the child to face
prejudice?) underlines this ugly truth.
Yes, Indians are racists. And no, we are not all that ignorant. Our racism has
been endorsed and certified for ages… by the sages! And our sexual attacks on
gori-gori firang female tourists are an expression of this sickness. Let’s call
it a form of reverse racism. Then again, let’s consider a hypothetical scenario
: How would Indians react to a beautiful Black contestant bagging the Miss
India crown? Would we accept such a winner? Or would we protest – “ She can’t win! Just look at her complexion! She
doesn’t LOOK Indian!” Like there is just
one kind of a milk white Indian! I am
pretty sure such a title holder would face the worst slurs….. and promptly give
back her crown! As for the reactions to a professor of African origin teaching
in one of our universities … just forget it. We have seen how students from
African countries are discriminated against
right here in Mumbai.Yes, the world’s a pretty nasty place. So is India.
Thank you, V.S. Naipaul for reminding us
of a ghastly but inescapable reality - we continue to live in an area of darkness, in
more ways than one.

***************

This appeared in The Week...

Does
Zadie Smith have a point?

I read a recent article in a British
newspaper which featured Zadie Smith, the 37- year-old writer of ‘The White Teeth’. Zadie is beautiful.
Oooops. I just used the forbidden ‘b’ word . Her beauty , she says, is the
cause of a major problem for her. Her much admired good looks come between her
and her critics who are unwillingly to take her seriously or give her due
credit as a writer.Cambridge-educated Ms. Smith ( she wrote her brilliant book
during her final year) finds their attitude ‘misogynistic’ She says emphatically, “The assumption that
beautiful women did not have to be intelligent is sinister.” She also cribs
about media’s “ ridiculous obsession”
with her looks, and insists it is not
she who places all those pretty pictures in the papers, but photo editors. She
also referred to a letter in an Italian paper in which the writer grudgingly
conceded that while Zadie is…. maybe… a ‘good’ writer, she couldn’t possibly be
“great”. It was, of course, Zadie’s beauty getting in the way. Again! Zadie
sniffed, “ I am not too beautiful to be
an author.” Relax!! I wanted to croon, “Oh you poor darling… there, there….iIt
can’t be so bad… it’s going to okay…. promise! We all love your book and we’ll
pretend we haven’t noticed how super amazing you look… we promise not to hold your appearance
against you when you show up for a book signing session looking like a movie
star.”

Does Jhumpa Lahiri have a similar problem?
If indeed she does, she has certainly
never spoken about it. Jhumpa is seriously spectacular. And she is seriously
successful. Her new book has once again established her credentials as one of
the most read contemporary authors across the world. She is currently on top of
the best seller lists in India. Her pictures are everywhere. And she is looking
better than ever. I am sure she gets her share of gush in print. But nobody
thinks less of her as a writer because she is good looking. If anything, her
personality enhances the appeal of her books and is an essential part of her
positioning as an established author. This is how it goes these days. Authors
have been converted into brands , just like everybody else who is successful – film
stars, tennis players, musicians, artists. We live in visual times. Attention
spans have shrunk. Everybody wants to look good – has to look good. Everybody
is looking for that instant fix. And if that fix comes in an attractive package
– why not live with it?

This is my second, better considered
reaction to the Zadie interview. My first was to agree with her and declare ,
“Welcome to the club!” It can be pretty tiresome to have to deal with a level
of scrutiny that refuses to extend beyond the female writer’s age, hair,
cheekbones, clothes and other details that have nothing to do with writing.
Yes, it is annoying and unfair. But that’s the sort of stereo typing women have
been subjected to since time immemorial. It is nobody’s fault. And women have
to be sensible about this ‘objectification’, provided it doesn’t turn nasty.
Zadie mentions Sylia Plath and describes her a beautiful woman, thereby further
reinforcing the ‘beauty’ curse. Jhumpa on the other hand, appears to be comfortable
with her physicality, neither drawing attention to her looks nor apologizing
for them. Her ‘take it or leave it’ attitude is the one that works far better
than Zadie’s wail. No matter how strenuously Zadie protests, what’s the bet
she’ll wonder where the paparazzi have disappeared if her public appearances
get ignored? Instead of worrying about not being taken seriously by critics,
she should continue writing with gusto and passion. After all, success is still
the best revenge! And good looks, a God given gift to be cherished by those
fortunate enough to have them in abundance – like Zadie. Like Jhumpa. As
extraordinarily talented writers, their job is to write. If there are idiots
out there who assume beautiful women do not have to be intelligent, hell…. it’s
their tiny brain talking. Stupid, yes. ‘Sinister’ ? Hardly.