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Even Good Moms Make Terrible Mistakes

Posted by Lyette Reback on August 30, 2015..

“I’m a good mom who made a horrible mistake,” says Cherish Peterson.

When I had no children and when I had one child, I remember passing harsh judgements on parents who would “forget” their child in a hot car or a toddler drowning incident or whenever some sort of tragic accident would happen.

I would throw verbal darts at them (this was before social media, my oldest of 15 children is now 20) and cluck my tongue in disgust. How could they? How thoughtless! How careless they were and how much more I loved my child than they loved theirs and so that’s why I would never make that mistake.

How foolish.

In the 18 years since I have been privileged to parent another 14 children. I have made some serious blunders that by the grace of God have not resulted in tragedy. I made serious blunders when I had one child. Serious mistakes when I had two. Potentially life threatening errors when I had three children and with my fourth child she was saved from drowning at a birthday party by a gentleman who jumped in head first as I was literally less than 3 feet from her!

I have been at a mall and at a theme park and held onto a child until their mother came frantically running terrified and crying. I have held the hands and hugged the mothers who have lost their children due to tragedies that could have easily been me any day of the week.

We are all moms…who all have the potential to make mistakes that can be tragic or shameful at any given time. I remember one of my dearest friends from high school– her mother shared with me shortly after I had my second that when she had just had her second baby, she completely forgot the newborn when taking her older sibling to school and left the baby home alone in her crib! This stuff happens!

Are there neglectful parents? Yes, of course there are. But do we as parents make mistakes? Sometimes potentially very dangerous ones? Yes. No one is immune. Be careful if you think you are…that kind of humble pie doesn’t taste very good.

He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? – Micah 6:8

As moms, we need to remember to be merciful to one another. We must remember to walk humbly. Tragedy can happen no matter how careful we are and at any given moment we can be victim to forgetfulness, mistakes, errors and misjudgments. And that’s why #IStandWithCherish

I remember this beautiful family from our Gilbert, AZ ward and they are a lovely family. I knew of Cherish as she was in both my daughters ward classes and she is responsible and sweet. This is just a mistake. We all make mistakes. I know she must be feeling horrible. Our prayers are with her and her family. Blessings sent to her entire family.

She is a good mom. Easy to tell. She’s raised her other kids just fine. Let’s go after real child abusers, not a Mom who forgot her child because she changed her routine. Let’s don’t get over zealous with vilifying people. She’ll never make this mistake again. For God’s sake don’t prosecute this woman.

Honestly? You could also argue that a parent who leaves their child in the vehicle made a mistake, that a parent who lost their temper because their child wouldn’t stop crying made a mistake, and so many other things – yet we vilify all of those parents. Cherish claims that she didn’t get the other 2 kids out of the vehicle, so why would she leave those 2 in the vehicle and take the baby in? I know what you’re going to say – maybe the baby was awake, maybe she had just changed the baby and decided to take him into the store real quick…but honestly if the second one was the case, wouldn’t she have remembered the baby? Finally, it took her until they got home to listen to her child and realize the baby wasn’t there…I imagine she was preoccupied with something else and only paying half attention to the children in the vehicle. Furthermore, if she was just going into the store to get a single item – candy for a nephew’s party – why did she grab a cart? I’m pretty sure that Fry’s Grocery stores have the grocery carts that you carry…the only reason she’d need a cart is if she’d taken the baby into the store. It just seems to me that they’re trying to do damage control.

I think you may have some facts about the story a little confused. But either way…I hope when you make a mistake it doesn’t get blasted all over creation like this poor mom. And for the record, parents DO accidentally leave their children in cars. Parents DO lose their tempers. If you haven’t done either one of those yet, then your child is probably not old enough. Even the post partum mother who endangers her child is in need of empathy. I’m not abdicating the right to prosecute crimes for heaven’s sake…but EVERY PARENT MAKES MISTAKES. if you haven’t yet accidentally endangered your child…just wait. It happens.

I worked in a Pediatric ICU and had a Dad tell me, in detail, how he took his two month old and grabbed him by the feet and swung him as hard against a wall as he could to “shut him up”. He cried as he told me about the day, driving a school bus full of surly middle school kids from a tough neighborhood in DC, taking all sorts of abuse from his charges as he ferried them safely to a terrible school.

Both parents loved their babies. Both parents were doing the best they could. One of these two parents needed HELP (and prison) and the other doesn’t. It’s not hard to tell which. Both need mercy.

My heart goes out to this mom….It never ceases to amaze me how quickly folks are to crucify others, but expect great mercy and exception when it comes to themselves. I just want to hug this mom and tell her, “This, too, shall pass.”

I stood in judgment of this mom when I first heard this story. It took reading about 3/4 of the way through your post before the tears started. I am sad that I was so judgmental of this mom who is just trying to do her best. And I was reminded that I once lost my 4 year old in the Denver airport for TEN MINUTES!! The worst ten minutes of my life. No, none of is perfect.

Kolleen…I think we all have the natural reaction of “I would never…” because we don’t want to believe it could happen to us. It has happened to me. Many times. Good Lord thank you for His angels and protection. And thank you for your honesty. Airports…my worst nightmare. God bless you babe. Momma on.

I cannot believe how others can condemn so quickly, with such coldness. I can’t imagine what you and your family are going through. We all mistakes, anyone would think from such condemnation, that everyone else is perfect.
I hope people will let you be and allow you to get on with your cute family. God bless!

My heart goes out to this mom. She made a mistake and we have all made mistakes some are bigger then others and some of us just get lucky. I pray that she is able to forgive herself. I pray for the people who are saying hateful things and declaring that they “would never” because you can and should never say never because NO one is perfect!

I’d like to defend the idea that the shaming of ANYONE for ANY reason is reprehensible – especially publicly. This belief is powerfully illustrated in this TED Talk. If you have not viewed it, I strongly urge you to take the 18 or so minutes to listen. It will change you. The shame that others are heaping upon her is a heavy burden. I hope we all learn to be kinder, gentler people for perhaps one day it may be YOU! http://youtu.be/H_8y0WLm78U