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is it me or do some people need to teach there children some manners!!!

Ang82saf

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 10.08AM

OH's brothers are forever speaking with food in their mouth... really annoys me how my 3 year old DD knows to finish what is in her mouth before speaking but a 10 year old and a 13 year old need reminding constantly. But then again when their mother can't be bothered with them what can you say?

Last message from previous page:OH's brothers are forever speaking with food in their mouth... really annoys me how my 3 year old DD knows to finish what is in her mouth before speaking but a 10 year old and a 13 year old need reminding constantly. But then again when their mother can't be bothered with them what can you say?

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Jac03ufo

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 11.46AM

and they are a bit rough too not the sort you want to mix with ;):lol:

You can spot the smokers a mile off....we have 7 heads, purple and orange spots all over and make lion look like a wee kitten

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and they are a bit rough too not the sort you want to mix with ;):lol:

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Jac03ufo

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 11.50AM

I was trying to find the post that said something about lower status :roll: I really cant believe that people use words like status and lower on this site well i can TBH ,
I think its awful snotty but angela never mind them because the people who usethe word Lower class /status are usually in a better paid job nothing more and can afford a better house MONEY DOES NOT MAKE A BETTER CLASS , im sick to the back teeth of reading snooty comments about the lower classes ,

I am 'lower class' as some people on here would probably class me. I rent my house I buy clothes from charity shops, I don't have money to spend going abroad on holiday, my daughter does wear hand me down clothes and plays with second hand toys. BUT... my daughter DOES have manners. So to say manners reflect on class that just is an insane and frankly wrong judgement. I want my daughter to be treated as a human being not judged on class and status, she is a person in her own right and to class people as upper middle and lower isn't right.

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I was trying to find the post that said something about lower status I really cant believe that people use words like status and lower on this site well i can TBH ,

I think its awful snotty but angela never mind them because the people who usethe word Lower class /status are usually in a better paid job nothing more and can afford a better house MONEY DOES NOT MAKE A BETTER CLASS , im sick to the back teeth of reading snooty comments about the lower classes ,

I was trying to find the post that said something about lower status I really cant believe that people use words like status and lower on this site well i can TBH ,

I think its awful snotty but angela never mind them because the people who usethe word Lower class /status are usually in a better paid job nothing more and can afford a better house MONEY DOES NOT MAKE A BETTER CLASS , im sick to the back teeth of reading snooty comments about the lower classes ,

do u know what ,us somkers have been pushed outside and yeah thats fine when its indoors in a public space BUT i am sick of hearing how awful it is for us to even dream of smoking in an open space
and to b a little rude to those who think being so judgemental is the polite way of things ............if i or other smokers want to smoke in open spaces thats exactly what we r gonna do and blow the lot of ya !
and just cause we r enjoying a smoke dont mean we r not looking after our kids or scum or of low social standing!

do u know what ,us somkers have been pushed outside and yeah thats fine when its indoors in a public space BUT i am sick of hearing how awful it is for us to even dream of smoking in an open space and to b a little rude to those who think being so judgemental is the polite way of things ............if i or other smokers want to smoke in open spaces thats exactly what we r gonna do and blow the lot of ya !and just cause we r enjoying a smoke dont mean we r not looking after our kids or scum or of low social standing!

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Sarah O(18)

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 2.48PM

If you were to smoke around my child in a CHILDRENS playground, I would be saying something to you my love! It's your decision to smoke.... it's not your decision whether other children should passive smoke!

Quote:

if i or other smokers want to smoke in open spaces thats exactly what we r gonna do and blow the lot of ya !

If you were to smoke around my child in a CHILDRENS playground, I would be saying something to you my love! It's your decision to smoke.... it's not your decision whether other children should passive smoke!

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 2.53PM

if it were an enclosed space i wouldnt b smoking in there ,but outside in the open air diff matter

if it were an enclosed space i wouldnt b smoking in there ,but outside in the open air diff matter

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Sarah O(18)

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.02PM

No it's not, if your child was on the swing outside next to my child and you decided to smoke... I would be saying something!

No it's not, if your child was on the swing outside next to my child and you decided to smoke... I would be saying something!

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.14PM

and untill its illegal i am sorry but i will b ignoring u ,open space is very different to an enclosed space

and untill its illegal i am sorry but i will b ignoring u ,open space is very different to an enclosed space

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Ann37mps

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.16PM

Of course not, just of low intelligence obviously.
Before the wrong people take offence can I point out I know some lovely smokers, some are my best friends but then those also tend to be the considerate ones (very attentive parents too, I'd happily leave my girls in their care and know they would be well cared for)
The low intelligence commetn is not directed at smokers its directed at the fool who believes their right to smoke is more valid than anyone elses right to be free of it.
Try taking yourself elsewhere when you smoke and let others decide for themselves if your riveting company is worth the smell and health risks, although I expect youd spend a lot of time standing alone with an attitude like you have just shown.

Quote:

do u know what ,us somkers have been pushed outside and yeah thats fine when its indoors in a public space BUT i am sick of hearing how awful it is for us to even dream of smoking in an open space and to b a little rude to those who think being so judgemental is the polite way of things ............if i or other smokers want to smoke in open spaces thats exactly what we r gonna do and blow the lot of ya !and just cause we r enjoying a smoke dont mean we r not looking after our kids or scum or of low social standing!

Of course not, just of low intelligence obviously.

Before the wrong people take offence can I point out I know some lovely smokers, some are my best friends but then those also tend to be the considerate ones (very attentive parents too, I'd happily leave my girls in their care and know they would be well cared for)

The low intelligence commetn is not directed at smokers its directed at the fool who believes their right to smoke is more valid than anyone elses right to be free of it.

Try taking yourself elsewhere when you smoke and let others decide for themselves if your riveting company is worth the smell and health risks, although I expect youd spend a lot of time standing alone with an attitude like you have just shown.

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laura b(401)

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.19PM

Wow! V judgemental OP!
Manners don't cost anything, we all know that - I don't think anyone on nm's would disagree with you - we all like good manners. I do think calling the child 'horrible' and the comment about the mum smoking 'saying it all' was very judgy though! She was sat back on a bench, outside, having a ciggie while her daughter played - BIG DEAL! As long as she wasn't breathing it right in the faces of the kids, I don't see a problem.
The little girls didn't say 'please' when asking for a go one the swing - ok, not perfect, but are there actually any perfectly behaved kids out there? Really? Think it's very harsh to call the girl horrible just for that! In fact, I think you sound horrible for saying that about a child - you don't know her, all you know about her is that she didn't say please to go on a swing!

Wow! V judgemental OP!

Manners don't cost anything, we all know that - I don't think anyone on nm's would disagree with you - we all like good manners. I do think calling the child 'horrible' and the comment about the mum smoking 'saying it all' was very judgy though! She was sat back on a bench, outside, having a ciggie while her daughter played - BIG DEAL! As long as she wasn't breathing it right in the faces of the kids, I don't see a problem.

The little girls didn't say 'please' when asking for a go one the swing - ok, not perfect, but are there actually any perfectly behaved kids out there? Really? Think it's very harsh to call the girl horrible just for that! In fact, I think you sound horrible for saying that about a child - you don't know her, all you know about her is that she didn't say please to go on a swing!

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laura b(401)

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.28PM

At what distance does a smoker have to stand to please you then?! 20 meters? 100?
Sarah's example if a good one - child on swing and person smoking right next to them = big no - obviously the smoke is going to go all over the child.
You are kinda making it sound like all smokers should have to stand alone in a corner, outside, miles away from the rest of civilisation because of your right not to breathe in second hand smoke. If someone is smoking in an open space (which is what anon was saying I think) and you don't like it, or feel they are too close to you (what is 'too close' anyway?), why not move away a few feet, or meters, or whatever, until you are happy that not one smoke particle will be contaminating you?!
Got nothing to do with intelligence.
For the record, I consider myself a considerate smoker - I wouldn't stand near (within 10 meters say) of people and smoke, but I would for example smoke if I was walking down the street, and constantly moving - I don't think the 2 seconds it takes to walk past someone is going to do toooooooo much damage, do you?

Before the wrong people take offence can I point out I know some lovely smokers, some are my best friends but then those also tend to be the considerate ones (very attentive parents too, I'd happily leave my girls in their care and know they would be well cared for)

The low intelligence commetn is not directed at smokers its directed at the fool who believes their right to smoke is more valid than anyone elses right to be free of it.

Try taking yourself elsewhere when you smoke and let others decide for themselves if your riveting company is worth the smell and health risks, although I expect youd spend a lot of time standing alone with an attitude like you have just shown.

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At what distance does a smoker have to stand to please you then?! 20 meters? 100?

Sarah's example if a good one - child on swing and person smoking right next to them = big no - obviously the smoke is going to go all over the child.

You are kinda making it sound like all smokers should have to stand alone in a corner, outside, miles away from the rest of civilisation because of your right not to breathe in second hand smoke. If someone is smoking in an open space (which is what anon was saying I think) and you don't like it, or feel they are too close to you (what is 'too close' anyway?), why not move away a few feet, or meters, or whatever, until you are happy that not one smoke particle will be contaminating you?!

Got nothing to do with intelligence.

For the record, I consider myself a considerate smoker - I wouldn't stand near (within 10 meters say) of people and smoke, but I would for example smoke if I was walking down the street, and constantly moving - I don't think the 2 seconds it takes to walk past someone is going to do toooooooo much damage, do you?

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Fio60axn

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.31PM

Excuse me but who are you to judge me??? I thought the whole idea of netmums and the coffee lounge etc was for OPINIONS......I do not enjoy arguments ect, i merely give my opinion and im sorry if its not liked but we all give them but u jumped on me? why

I think that you enjoy a good argument Fiona, about anything, I have only been coming on ney mum's regually for a couple of weeks but because of your picture remember seeing a few confrontationalal posts and little digs to start off the debates you seem to enjoy.

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Excuse me but who are you to judge me??? I thought the whole idea of netmums and the coffee lounge etc was for OPINIONS......I do not enjoy arguments ect, i merely give my opinion and im sorry if its not liked but we all give them but u jumped on me? why

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marie b(287)

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.42PM

Thats ok. You had me worried then I thought you was going to bite me. lol

Thats ok. You had me worried then I thought you was going to bite me. lol

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.45PM

surprisingly not ! i am the only smoker in my circle of friends and not one of them wouldnt come to my house or arrange to go out because of it ,or not invite me to their homes .now granted i would never dream of smoking in their homes thats just plain manners ,out in the gardens yeah i do and they have no issues with it at all,and r all more than happy to have me mind the children to boot (shock horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
my right to smoke is just as valid as urs not to same as those who wish to consume alcohol or not
and smoking does not make someone of low intelligence either
in my experience those most anti smoking r infact ex smokers themselves who develop a whole dictating attitude and cant bare to b reminded that they used to enjoy a smoke too

surprisingly not ! i am the only smoker in my circle of friends and not one of them wouldnt come to my house or arrange to go out because of it ,or not invite me to their homes .now granted i would never dream of smoking in their homes thats just plain manners ,out in the gardens yeah i do and they have no issues with it at all,and r all more than happy to have me mind the children to boot (shock horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)my right to smoke is just as valid as urs not to same as those who wish to consume alcohol or notand smoking does not make someone of low intelligence either in my experience those most anti smoking r infact ex smokers themselves who develop a whole dictating attitude and cant bare to b reminded that they used to enjoy a smoke too

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Bev46utq

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 3.47PM

Yeah I think the smoking would potentially bother me more than the little girl demanding a turn - depending on how far away the bench is/which way the wind is blowing etc.
It just depends how considerate the other person is, I know plenty of smokers who will stand well out of the way :) , and have also been the pregnant lady with morning sickness standing at the bus stop having smoke blown in her face :(
I don't think it is ideal for young kids to see people smoking - but don't think I have a leg to stand on until I am prepared to stop eating chocolate bars in public ;)

Yeah I think the smoking would potentially bother me more than the little girl demanding a turn - depending on how far away the bench is/which way the wind is blowing etc.

It just depends how considerate the other person is, I know plenty of smokers who will stand well out of the way , and have also been the pregnant lady with morning sickness standing at the bus stop having smoke blown in her face

I don't think it is ideal for young kids to see people smoking - but don't think I have a leg to stand on until I am prepared to stop eating chocolate bars in public

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Jac08loe

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Posted on 06-08-2011 at 4.06PM

Been skimming through the replies here and I see alot of it seems to be focused on the smoking comment and how awful it is to smoke. I have never smoked but I dont have a problem with people smoking. I dont allow it in my house and I think like most people when I have my son in the company of smokers they are usually graceful enough to go outside to smoke instead of smoking around him - even if we are in their houses. As for smoking in a park. Sorry I am probably going to get shot down for this - but - its not illegal, it's open air and it is a personal decision for the individual to smoke. Just cause your child sees someone smoking does not mean it is going to melt their brains! My son see's my mum smoking all the time and he is &#034;normal&#034; I have told him it is poison and he tells her off lol Ofcourse he tells me off when I am going out for the night too and am drinking poison lol
As for the social status affecting peoples manners and behaviour - personally I think that is a load of rubbish! You could come for the poorest of familes and still have the most impecable of manners and vice versa! What about all those &#034;rich kids&#034; that are spoilt little brats and demand everything? Surely as their social status is higher then their manners should be better - its does not work out like that! It is down to how you are raised and the choices you make as you get older. A 3 year old that has been taught great manners does not make a 17 year old with great manners - unless they want to use them!

Been skimming through the replies here and I see alot of it seems to be focused on the smoking comment and how awful it is to smoke. I have never smoked but I dont have a problem with people smoking. I dont allow it in my house and I think like most people when I have my son in the company of smokers they are usually graceful enough to go outside to smoke instead of smoking around him - even if we are in their houses. As for smoking in a park. Sorry I am probably going to get shot down for this - but - its not illegal, it's open air and it is a personal decision for the individual to smoke. Just cause your child sees someone smoking does not mean it is going to melt their brains! My son see's my mum smoking all the time and he is "normal" I have told him it is poison and he tells her off lol Ofcourse he tells me off when I am going out for the night too and am drinking poison lol

As for the social status affecting peoples manners and behaviour - personally I think that is a load of rubbish! You could come for the poorest of familes and still have the most impecable of manners and vice versa! What about all those "rich kids" that are spoilt little brats and demand everything? Surely as their social status is higher then their manners should be better - its does not work out like that! It is down to how you are raised and the choices you make as you get older. A 3 year old that has been taught great manners does not make a 17 year old with great manners - unless they want to use them!

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cazz t

Posted on 06-08-2011 at 4.46PM

Not all children that are overweight are problem children or rude and I resent the fact that you assume this, my son looks very overweight but he actually isn't and it is swelling, he's very poorly and when I take him to the park I would expect some common decency off the parents too, in not showing children how judgemental you can be and therefore not reinforcing such behaviour in your own or other children.
The child in question may have just slipped up but yes I agree children should use their manners at all times however they are just children. I think smoking in the park is bad form but I do not think smoking in general is wrong but smoking around others and their children at a childrens play park is.I don't think smoking makes you a bad parent at all.
Class situations does not make a difference to parenting skills at all I am surprised that some people would even consider this as a reason for bad parenting it is utterly ridiculous.
If I had been the op I would of just said to the little girl, did you say I would like a go on the swing now please only I didn't really catch what you said sorry. To which she would probably have repeated it using her manners and I would say of course after dd has finished you will be most welcome to the swing thank you for asking so nicely or something similar. Oh and before anyone slates anything I have said I have 3 wonderful children and I am regularly stopped and told how wonderful and polite and kind my children are, I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I am not judgemental and therefore neither are my children.

I've been reading through the posts and pleased someone made the point about smoking in a park. It really makes me cross when people smoke around my child.

On a different note, I was in a park and a kid about 8 i couldnt really tell as he wasnt fat but clearly extremelly overweight ...bigger boobs than me. Yes I am being gudgemental (and jealous) any way he was f'ing and blinding and imtimidating lots of people including adults. the mums of two toddlers had a word. he called them all sorts, fat, ladies of the night, awful things everyone was staring. the mums turned to the parents who were worse and the whole family started on these two ladies.

Shoot me now but there was a clear difference in the social status of the people and their behaviour.

Dont get me wrong, I know people of a lower social status who have lovely children but it does seem to be quite common that social status reflects on behaviour.

Oh and yes...there are some real nasty kids around but believe it is the result of parenting...going back generations. I wonder what the children of todays children are going to be like.

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Not all children that are overweight are problem children or rude and I resent the fact that you assume this, my son looks very overweight but he actually isn't and it is swelling, he's very poorly and when I take him to the park I would expect some common decency off the parents too, in not showing children how judgemental you can be and therefore not reinforcing such behaviour in your own or other children.

The child in question may have just slipped up but yes I agree children should use their manners at all times however they are just children. I think smoking in the park is bad form but I do not think smoking in general is wrong but smoking around others and their children at a childrens play park is.I don't think smoking makes you a bad parent at all.

Class situations does not make a difference to parenting skills at all I am surprised that some people would even consider this as a reason for bad parenting it is utterly ridiculous.If I had been the op I would of just said to the little girl, did you say I would like a go on the swing now please only I didn't really catch what you said sorry. To which she would probably have repeated it using her manners and I would say of course after dd has finished you will be most welcome to the swing thank you for asking so nicely or something similar. Oh and before anyone slates anything I have said I have 3 wonderful children and I am regularly stopped and told how wonderful and polite and kind my children are, I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I am not judgemental and therefore neither are my children.

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tin36qav

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Posted on 07-08-2011 at 7.18AM

very good ladies!!!
well i still think smoking is awfull and i still think smoking is a park near other children is awfull too!! it really scare's me to think people out there think it is right or that smoking is in someway a good thing???
Money will never buy manners and class is where you put yourself not others.
there are some awfull people out there with awfull children too but thats just life and the world we live in today and we can't say there's not.
any way thanks for a good debate.
take care every one and try to keep smile the sun is out to day so might go to the park!!!! he he xx

very good ladies!!!well i still think smoking is awfull and i still think smoking is a park near other children is awfull too!! it really scare's me to think people out there think it is right or that smoking is in someway a good thing???Money will never buy manners and class is where you put yourself not others.there are some awfull people out there with awfull children too but thats just life and the world we live in today and we can't say there's not.any way thanks for a good debate.take care every one and try to keep smile the sun is out to day so might go to the park!!!! he he xx

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Reb76nym

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Posted on 07-08-2011 at 8.15AM

I find it quite annoying that because the lady's child did not say please you have deemed her as the sort of parent who doesn't care or want her child. I think that's dreadful. How do you know that she wasn't having the first sit down of the day after using play dough and crayons all morning! How do you know that she isn't having a huge battle getting pleases and thankyous out of her daughter at the moment...I can appreciate that as my youngest is having a major regression into the 'I wants!' recently. He is not given in to but still he is trying it on.
As for the smoking...it entirely depends on the size of the park imo. I dont really care where people smoke as long as I dont have to walk through the smog.
Sorry to be harsh but having been on the receiving end of people passing judgment whose children are oh so much better behaved than my own this sort of thing really winds me up!
:rargh:

I find it quite annoying that because the lady's child did not say please you have deemed her as the sort of parent who doesn't care or want her child. I think that's dreadful. How do you know that she wasn't having the first sit down of the day after using play dough and crayons all morning! How do you know that she isn't having a huge battle getting pleases and thankyous out of her daughter at the moment...I can appreciate that as my youngest is having a major regression into the 'I wants!' recently. He is not given in to but still he is trying it on.

As for the smoking...it entirely depends on the size of the park imo. I dont really care where people smoke as long as I dont have to walk through the smog.

Sorry to be harsh but having been on the receiving end of people passing judgment whose children are oh so much better behaved than my own this sort of thing really winds me up!