In a powerful conversation with Parade, the 43-year-old, who’s also a reporter for the New York Knicks and just launched her new QVC home line, G.I.L.I. by Jill Martin explains more about her decision, why she wanted to speak out and the tremendous support she’s received.

“Five years ago, I was dating people, but I was not in anything that was my forever and I knew that. Having a child at that point was so important to me. I grew up with loving parents and my beautiful baby brother. That was the formula that I thought to follow.

I went to University of Michigan and all my college friends pretty much followed that formula. They got married in their 20s or 30s, and most had two kids. And I was the only one [who didn’t follow that formula]. I always pictured that formula because that’s what I knew.

I never had a deadline, but you naturally start feeling it. You kind of have that self-doubt: What’s wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Is my path the right one?

I definitely think my career affected my path, but I can’t say that it affected me negatively. Up until two to three years ago, I was working six to seven days a week, so it really didn’t leave a room for anything. Partly, I would use it as an excuse, because I hadn’t met the right person at the time, nor was I ready to have kids on my own or adopt.

Fortunately, I never, ever had pressure from my parents. And people ask me that all the time, like, ‘Don’t your parents want grandchildren?’ And people don’t realize how painful that question is—of course they want grandchildren! But I’ve never got pressure from them, and I think that’s allowed me to grow in other areas of my life, and really do what’s right for me.

Five years ago, I came to the realization that the plan that I was seeing with my college friends was not mine. My formula wasn’t wrong—it was just different. My mom always said to me: Always have your own money and keep your options open. And that resonated with me.

So I woke up one morning and decided to do it [freeze my eggs]. I had been working, I saved up the money to do it.

There were so many tests and stuff to do, that it really takes a month in its entirety. You have to have the shots on hand, you have to be by a refrigerator, you have to go to the doctor every other day—there’s a lot that goes into it.

If you ask me to recall the pain, I’m the person who likes to remember happy and forget sad. It was hard. I remember it being very painful, the shots being painful because you had to do it in your stomach, I remember that being hard for me to do, because I’m kind of a wimp in that area of my life.

But I’ve never taken a sick day in my entire life. I’ve never, ever taken a sick day, so that’s not in my wheelhouse to do that. I mean, I had laryngitis one day and I remember staying up all night drinking lemon and hot tea. So I never considered taking off work.

You gain a little weight from the procedure. It’s painful, it’s emotional, it’s coming to the realization that your plan is changing a little bit. But I gave myself an insurance policy.

At the time, I wasn’t ready to publicly share what I was going through. Part of me felt a little disappointed in myself, like ‘Why couldn’t I live up to my original plan? Why was everyone else getting married and having kids [and not me]?’ I was a little bit angry at myself.

But that’s changed now.

What prompted me to speak out about it was Dylan Dreyer sharing her story. We had a meeting before the show in the green room and I told her then. In that moment, I said everyone is on a journey and a lot of times we don’t know about it. And it would be helpful to just talk about it so we can support each other.

So many colleagues came up to me telling me their own stories and wanting to thank me for sharing my story. I’ve gotten so many direct messages from people who want to share their stories, or people saying, ‘I don’t know you but I’m rooting for you.’ Some stories make you cry and some make you laugh and some you can directly relate to.

Having my platform, although it’s not an obligation to share, helps people. It’s empowering. So I think it’s important to continue the conversation. I still think there are stigmas attached to a lot of these stories that women are sharing, and the more that we open up the conversation and come together, the happier we will be because we will be able to accept, discuss and grow.

There’s so many different options now with insurance covering procedures on a case-by-case basis. And the more we share, the more women can say, ‘Oh I want to do that too, or that’s not for me.’ Or ‘I want that option.’ I think knowledge is power. The more you know, the better decisions you can make. There is not one formula to follow. I think we all need to come together and say, whatever your version of the story is, is your version. It’s not right or wrong. It’s just yours.

I’m so inspired by all the women I work with because everyone’s journey and path is and was different. It gives you hope for all different kinds of stories. I think it’s about finding your version of your fairytale and finding your own happy ending, whatever that is for you. I’ve learned that only you can decide that.

Today, I’ve taken up meditation. I’m much calmer. I feel very fulfilled. I feel proud of myself.

I like where I am in life. I’m in a loving relationship with a man I adore. I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I’m a really good daughter, I’m a really good friend, I’m a really good sister. I’m a really good girlfriend. That’s where my foundation starts. As long as those foundation bricks are there, I can build on those.

All my options are on the table right now, and I’m so grateful to have options. I don’t know my plan and I don’t have crystal ball, but I know I’m at peace and I know I’m happy, and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

AMG/Parade Digital

Connect With Us

More from AMG/Parade

Our partners

Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance
of our User Agreement,
Privacy Policy,
Cookie Notification,
and awareness of the California Privacy Rights.
Pursuant to U.S. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal
and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced,
distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used,
without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group.
Ad Choices