UPDATE: Presently I'm in an open thing with a wonderful lady who is
kind hearted and pretty as fuck. Also she likes both guys and gals
if that's relevant (Wednesday232 ). I can appreciate if that puts you off,
and I'm not trying to take advantage of anyone or get away with
anything, so with that in and/or out of the way, heeeeeere's me
(n.b., you may be able to tell from that last sentence, I am not
named Johnny):

Also, if you are brilliant, clever and intellectually curious or
just a hilarious human being then screw everything I wrote below
and just message me. Who cares if we're sexually compatible, if
your existence can improve me as a human being then I want you in
my life.

Recently found out that this guy was using my pictures and creeping
on people: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/erigre/photos. Please do
not get catfished by him, please instead get catfished by me. By
which I mean, come meet me, I look like my pictures, and then let
me take you to a wonderful catfish dinner (vegans and vegetarians:
you will be forced to eat neither cat nor fish. We'll work it out,
somehow).

I would rather be despised for who I am than loved for who I'm not
(though to be frank, neither is what I would call "livin' the
dream").

Serious about being silly, seek complex simplicity and dualistic
without duplicity. (I'm of two minds about dualism, but they both
agree that it's false).

I love words with friends and at times feel like I am friends with
words. I'm stable and mercurial, a good listener and an excellent
speaker.

I am really busy, but I do my best to make time for exciting
people. I feel at times like I'm dancing on the line between the
humanities and the sciences, but since dancing is a humanity, that
is the side towards which I tilt, a whirling dervish twirling in a
lab coat he doesn't deserve. I have an ecstatic relationship with
the natural world and its funniest monkeys, the Homophobic Sapien
(really we're more closely related to apes, that was just a genetic
jape. Please don't be homophobic, or in any other way full of fear
or hate).

My old profile also read: Please be kind, laid back, hot, smart.
Could break a tooth on an icy uptight tart.

Is that I value my privacy, even though I spend a lot of time
telling people my secrets on stage.

Also, I just paid the $3 to increase my message storage to 5,000.
That's kind of embarrassing. (note: I did this because I don't need
another space in my life to monitor, virtual or otherwise, not
because I'm a schmuck. That's totally incidental).

Bonus points: You "believe in" the scientific method (and can
articulate why this isn't just another form of faith), understand
the dangers of cognitive biases and anecdotal evidence, and in the
event of a debate you are able to wield Occam's Razor.

I view sex as a form of communication (which is why I always
request an ASL translator be present for the hearing impaired). If
it's possible to say this without sounding like a braggart or a
slut (I'd prefer to sound like both, but not not one or the other)
I'm probably on the more sexually experienced side, but honestly
just looking for meaningful companionship in the form of a smart,
fun, self-possessed, expressive intellectual, artistic,
kind-hearted, open-minded, statistically significant other. I am
not just in it for the sex, though I'm a guy so of course I have
some self-worth tied up in my prowess. Plenty of inadequacies (I
used to be fat, asthmatic, last up at bat), but in the final
measurement my sense of self-worth wins out (so my ego is fatter
than my memory).

And by the way, if you just found my profile because you were
searching terms like bdsm, dominant, submissive, kink, kinky,
fetlife or fucktastic, well I don't know what you were expecting to
find. But I am listening.

Play an instrument, teach me a new skill. Whatever. I hope I don't
live to see a day I stop trying to learn something new or otherwise
challenge myself. I've found that no matter how smart you might be
there's always room to be dumb.

Jeez, all I want is a girl who is smarter than I am, hotter than I
am, appreciates the value of the scientific method, has been
outside the country at least once, is at least as intellectually
curious as I am, expresses a creative drive, is in touch with
herself as a sexual being, gets (and hopefully makes) jokes, has a
passion for something (anything really), a little bit of musicality
would be nice, and is also attracted to me. Is that really so much
to ask for?!?