Why staying together for the kids may not be the best option

In years past, Americans had very definitive ideas about how people should live their lives. Americans were expected to go to school, graduate, start working, get married and have children. The end. Regardless of whether a spouse drank too much or failed to take an active role in raising the children, couples by-and-large persevered and stayed married.

Today, there has been a dramatic shift in how many Americans view marraige. With many women now working outside of the home, men are typically expected to take a more active role in household duties and child rearing. While some couples with children are successfully able to navigate and negotiate busy schedules and lives, many struggle.

A spouse may flirt too much with a co-worker, drink too much or spend too much time away from home. In some cases even couples who were once madly in love may find they simply no longer have anything in common. In most cases, it's a combination of several things that result in a couple of growing apart. In cases where children are involved, many may struggle with whether it's better to divorce or stay together for the sake of the children.

While there are varying schools of thought on this topic, it's important that every couple do what's ultimately best for their family. Raising healthy and well-adjusted children is about more than providing a home, food and clothing. Parents are role models and the relationship between parents is often the most influential in shaping a child's ideas and ideals about love, committment, partnership and loyalty.

Parents who are struggling to decide whether or not to divorce, should attempt to take an objective look at their marriage and situation. Children are incredibly perceptive. Even if a couple isn't fighting in front of children, kids pick up on hostility and resentment. Children who grow up in this type of environment often internalize feelings and may develop problems associated with trust and anxiety.

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