English Lad - December 18, 2011So, what, exactly, is the Oppressor? Is it omission (from the introduction)? Is it self-commercialism (from the body)? Is it alcoholism (more body)? Is it general commercialism (more body)? Is it freedom (from the conclusion)?

The oppressor appears to be confusion, at least for the reader. Advice: when writing a rant, pick your topic, stick with it, and back up your argument. Stream-of-consciousness ranting just ends up sounding a little crazy.

Jordan - December 19, 2011As far as the myth-bubble goes I would have to say it really depends on the century (and the decade) you are talking about. It sounds like mauichuck1 was talking about recent history not ancient history in which case I agree with him.

Now if you want to hop across the pond go back a few centurys and turn yourself into a noble then yeah you won't have the slightest idea who you are getting married to, maybe not even what they look like. However I do agree with EL and SS with the misinformation angle.

Although you really need to add in stuff like the fact that in recent history the siblings would have plenty of time to tease the sister in front of her beau (thus dropping all kinds of info she would likely NOT want him to know) and he would also get to taste some of her cooking. Don't forget that if it was a smaller community there would be plenty of stuff that EVERYBODY would know.

English Lad - December 18, 2011"Because you spent so much time during the process you actually got to know someone -- you even connected more with the family while getting to know one another." While I hate to pop a lovely myth-bubble, I feel obliged to point out that wooings of old were, in fact, sadly lacking in "getting to know someone." So much of courtship was, and still is, a dance of misinformation: how do I make myself seem better than I am... how do I convince her parents that I match their expectations, not hers... how do we get to try out the fit when we're not supposed to fit until after the ceremony?
Dating profiles offer us a well worthwhile head-start. You can immediately rule out the grossly innapropriate matches and concentrate on those that might have some potential for working out. There is an age-old complaint about choosing another for looks alone, but in the old days, that's essentially all you were allowed to know about someone until after the wedding.
My vote for on-line dating: more power to 'em!

Sam Smith - December 1, 2011Was it Norman Mailer said 'You never know who you married until you meet them in the divorce court'? Or words to that effect. Speaking as a Mailer elder the thought of having to meet the family of the desired one would not have added to their desirability quotient. Dating, no matter the system employed, has always been luck of the draw. (Tempted to make puns about drawers here. Desisted.) What I can recall of my dating years is how many relationships just sputtered to a halt, no matter how far into the relationship. Hit'n miss, like a fairground stall, and most of the prizes not worth the winning.

English Lad - September 23, 2011Just one minor suggestion: "Passers-by verbally accost him" -- "accost" means "approach and speak to". It sounds like the author should have used something more like "Passers-by verbally abuse him".

bintarab - March 29, 2009Harry, I had to wiki "narwal" because I'd never heard of them before. But yes, it's impossible to change long-held beliefs/conceptions in just a casual conversation, plus I had no authority whatsoever -- why should they believe me? It would have been frustrating to me if not for the fact that my room-mate Arwa was okay with me putting plants all over our bedroom. In fact, I gave them all to her when I left!

HarryB - March 29, 2009Part X: Green

And you made no progress with the photosynthesis lecture! Pity. Perhaps Eskimos feel the same way ... along with narwhals and polar bears. A delightful little vignette ... with an embedded lesson.

willie - March 26, 2009I should have said 'often' demonised and misrepresented... rather than such. You get my drift I'm sure.

willie - March 26, 2009I didn't realise you had added some, bint.

As far as my opinions go, I'd say you should relax on the word count (when you feel you need more / less) and don't feel you need to explain specific 'lingo' --let the reader find out for themselves what, for example, a jilbab is. Or describe within the context of the story.

Mostly keep writing them down, this is a great collection of memories. There must be a book in these. The personal detail is fascinating in itself, some fiction could tie it all together. There's surely no better time / more need for personal accounts and stories putting a human face to such demonised and misrepresented, yet (in the global scheme of things) ordinary people.

On the reality of part two of two. Tell ( convince) yourself it doesn't matter maybe, but make damn sure everyone involved knows it has happened and let all be accountable for their own actions and conscience. That way it should be clear, or at least sets the standard that, the victim is guilt free.

A great read, I look forward to more.

HarryB - March 24, 2009part two of two

Reaction is all. Learning to control reaction is everything. Just tell yourself it didn't happen ... do not react and it hasn't happened. Even the man who did it will not believe it happened. The man who pulls the pin on the grenade in his pocket waits very calmly for it not to happen.

bintarab - March 23, 2009Oh! I don't have more on the thieves' market itself in the second part -- that part is about what happened later, after Fatima and I got home. Hmmm... now you've got me thinking...

Thanks for the encouragement, Harry!
~bint

HarryB - March 23, 2009Part IX: Thieves' market

I suppose it's a compliment when the grabber comes back for seconds. The market deserves some detailed description, which I suppose will come in the second part ... your 350 word limit doesn't help you here bint. Don't get me wrong, what you have here is good, but worthy of being longer.

bintarab - February 14, 2009Oh so true, Harry! The first one was the easiest to write because it was such a revelation, but the last one was the hardest to write. I'm still plugging away, though -- I've lots of memories that might work in this flash format, we'll see. Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more.

~bint

HarryB - February 14, 2009No. 1 There's something uplifting in Arwa's philosophy, I can't help feeling that appreciation of one's own physical beauty is every bit as important as someone else's. Nicely done, bint. 350 words beautifully spun.

No. 2 Not as illuminating as No.1. The most fascination sentence to me is "I paused on the threshold with the sound of girls hanging out in the TV lounge down the hall coming from behind me." It's as natural as breathing. It comes out of the blue and is remembered long after the soot on the ceiling.

No.3 I get the business with the shoes, but what gave Azhar the impression that she, as an Iraqi) would be allowed to win a TV show in Jordan? I think the unsung hero of the incident is the dorm supervisor.

AndreaUKA - December 12, 2008A great little tale asking a very interesting question, and one I have asked myself many times.

I'm with Sunk on this - a bit of fur keeps you warmer in winter (and who sees yer legs anyway under all those layers?)

Nice, enjoyed it and a great length for reading onscreen (tired eyes)

HarryB - December 2, 2008I must say it's been so long since I've seen a beaver I've forgotten whether they have four legs or two.

sunken - December 2, 2008I feel that I must stick up for the ladies of Britain. I don't know of any who let their body hair go un-waxed or unshaven. Someone has obviously been spreading malicious rumours, Ms. Bint. I trim my dangly bits now and again... Not in the winter tho. I see it has insulation (-;
I hope this has helped. Thank you.

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prior to the internet he used tin cans

bintarab - December 2, 2008Yes, dear sunks, we call them beavers too! But over here people joke a lot about how women over there don't shave armpits or legs -- is that true? And I don't blame you for preferring the trim look; I wish more guys would tidy up that way too!

~bint

bintarab - December 2, 2008Many thanks, Harry, though the credit should go to Arwa for having taught me a lesson. We women are not the women we think we are either. It's that all important question that I often forget to ask myself: who am I doing this for?

~bint

sunken - December 2, 2008Good for her! That's what I say, Ms. Bint. I must admit tho, I am glad that the majority of girls shave their armpits and legs. It's just not very attractive is it? I don't mind a hairy beaver, but I'd prefer a trimmed one. Do you call them beavers over there? If you don't know what I'm on about ask Val of Veemem fame. Enjoyed the read. Sorry about the comment.

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shedding new light on ignorance

HarryB - December 2, 2008A thinking woman's story, and if men get the point, it may make them think too. We men are not the men we think we are. Very pointed tale bint. Congratulations!