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Friday, November 18, 2016

Hey Millennials - Listen Up!

I was at a gas station the other day - which is where many of my very deep thoughts occur, naturally - and I came up with a list of things that millennials need to do to restore their besmirched reputations.

When you think of millennials you think of lazy kids who got a trophy for everything and live with their parents until they're 40. As a matter of fact, you might enjoy this song about them, which pretty much sums up most people's feelings about them.

But I know how they can fix it. They have to tackle twelve simple problems that plague us all and they will be revered as other generations have been for their accomplishments.

Abolish tags in clothing. Yes, I know I just ranted about that here. But there's no way that a sensitive young chap with a man bun and a vegan satchel wants to have his neck chafed off by a tag in his (insert protest message here) T-shirt. I'm sure of it. Take up this flag.

End the war between sunglasses and backlit screens like phones and backup cameras. This may not be a problem everywhere, like in Seattle, which I do believe is where the millennial factory might be located, but in Texas, some of us would like to BOTH shield ourselves from the blazing sun AND not back over a family in the parking lot. I don't think it's too much to ask.

Build a social network with keyword filters so that people can remove things like animal cruelty, politics and the CMA awards from their feeds. AND LEAVE EVERYTHING IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER LIKE GOD INTENDED. Is Mark Zuckerberg a millennial? If so I might have to rescind my hopefulness.

Invent a cell phone battery that outlasts a level of Candy Crush.

Fix "wireless". If I have to have 36 things plugged in to make something "wireless" I believe we call that a fail. I hate cords, and yet every room in my house looks like the engineering room on the Starship Enterprise.

MSG. Why is this still a thing? And while we're at it, Aspartame.

The lack of a "credit" button on POS terminals at stores. There you are, using your debit card as credit, and all you want to do is hit a credit button, but at one store you hit the red X, at another, the green check, at another the yellow snowman button, at another the clown mouth button - it's ridiculous. This is a common thing - have a danged button that says credit for Pete's sake.

Airplanes - give us real seats again and put storage UNDER the seats so that people aren't blowing out vertebrae hoisting their 75 pound carryon six feet over their head or unceremoniously dropping it on someone's skull.

School pick up lines. I don't know why this has turned into a national crisis, as it was not an issue when I was in elementary school, but it has. Fix it.

This card was made with a crazy fun technique from Jennifer McGuire. She calls it easy distress inking - you smoosh and spritz some distress ink on a craft mat, and then apply it to your watercolor paper with your fingers. Very fun. I dried each layer before adding another color, and that helps give you those hard edges. But basically it's a finger bokeh technique and super fun. And as the result of observations from my retreats, I have to say - get the Ranger Craft Mat for ink techniques. Oven liners from Amazon leak, and ink does not bead up properly on freezer paper - I've tried them all, I promise. If you really want to do fun ink techniques - it's worth $16.

First I heat embossed the medallion from Moroccan Nights onto watercolor paper and then did the finger bokeh with three ink colors listed above. I wanted the medallion to look like a snowflake in a sea of blue. The sentiment is from You've Got This, because - come on, millennials, you've got this!

Beautiful card. But for the life of me I can't understand why it's become so trendy to blame millenials for everything. Wasn't it their parents who thought everyone needed a trophy for everything? Seems to me we should be blaming the boomers.

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Hi. I'm Lydia. I'm the Community Manager at Splitcoast by day, an artist, a teacher and an animal lover in every other moment. I am an independent Stampin' Up! demonstrator, and I participate in affiliate programs at Blick Art Materials and others, and may receive small compensation when you purchase using my links, at no additional cost to you. Any products provided to me for free by a manufacturer are designated with an *.

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All of my projects are posted for your instruction & enjoyment. You may recreate these projects to your heart's content and I'll be flattered. I'd love it if you give me credit. It would be cool if you didn't submit them for publication though or sell them and make a million dollars, because that's bad karma. Unless you split it with me. My photos and my words belong completely to me and can't be reused or republished, so you gotta make your own. That means you have an excuse to buy glitter. I participate in affiliate programs at Blick Art Materials and others, which means I may receive a small fee when you purchase using my links at no additional cost to you. I appreciate your contribution towards the cost of running this blog.

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