Monday, March 05, 2007

It Must Be March

How do I know this? Because of the hint of spring warmth in the breeze? The almost indiscernible aroma of fecundity among the flowerbeds? The palest green promise of buds on the bare branches?

Fuck no. Are you kidding? I live in Chicago. Everything here is dead, gray, and frozen with no end in sight. It's like Narnia without the exotic animal life. If I'm not still wearing my frigging overcoat in June, I'll feel lucky.

Ah, that's it. That's how I know it's March. It's because I have offically Had It with winter and have withdrawn into my own season, the Season of Crabbiness. If Mother Nature were to peek her smiling, ruddy face through my window right now, I'd rip it off.

Knitting: Big Whoop

At such times it would probably be best to keep me away from all undertakings involving sharp, pointed implements. Nonetheless, I knit. Nothing spectacular, but at least with both hands full I can't smack random passers-by.

Here is what I have to show you right now. It's (are you sitting down?) a square-in-progress.

I wouldn't even show this to you except that even in my present state of mind I think the combination of yarn and stitch pattern is quite successful.

I got the pattern out of one of the Vogue Stitchionary books. I can't remember which one, and the book is all the way over there. It's called diagonal lace or prettyprettywow lace or happyshinyfuckitlace or something like that. The sample shot uses green yarn. I think. I'm not sure. Like I said, the book is all the way over there.

I had to re-do this dazzlingly complex work of art three times before I finally realized that there's a mistake in the three-row pattern and that if you follow it verbatim, your left edge gradually decreases and you will wind up with a right triangle instead of a square. Now, if you want to knit a @#%!* right triangle, why, it's just the very thing.

The yarn, which is soothing even to hands that might otherwise be hurling chunks of ice at widows and orphans, is from Black Bunny Fibers. Carol, one of my favorite Yarn Pushers, sent it to me along with instructions to knit it up to certain dimensions and not to ask any questions.

I may be a bitchy mood, kids, but I still know better than to argue with a lady who sends me free yarn.

87 comments:

I usually laugh at your blogs, but this one is simply HYSTERICAL! Part of me feels bad for laughing at your crankiness, but you should know that Philly feels the same as Chicago, and we are all cranky here, too.

I know how you feel about winter and being done with it. Last week it started to get just the tiniest bit warm -- I think we even hit 50 one day -- and then what do you think happened over the weekend? Snow, that's what.

Finally de-lurking to note that even those of us born and bred in Chicago reach the "I'VE HAD IT" stage by the time March rolls around. You put it so eloquently, though, that I almost fell off my chair.

This is the way I feel in Houston in September when it has been over 90 degrees and over 90% humidity for months and months. Right now our weather is just gorgeous so I'll have to read this again in September.

My first winter in Chicago was the coldest on record. (1993/94) and my last summer was the hottest on record (1996). I can totally. relate.

One of my best friends grew up in Buffalo and she is convinced Valentine's day was created to put everyone in a sugar-induced stupor to keep those living in a snowy climate from killing each other for just another month.

Just remember...if you stab someone with one of your knitting needles, the police will take said needle into evidence and then you'd just have to go buy more.

I was reading your first paragraph, thinking I live in Chicago and I haven't seen any of that! I was happy to realize in the second paragraph that you aren't hallucinating!!But I agree 100%. Thanks for the laugh.

The farthest north I ever lived was Columbus, Ohio. The north end. When we drove down to North Carolina for Easter that year I wasn't sure I was going back - every dogwood and azalea and daffodil was in bloom and it was like Dorothy entering the Land of Oz.

You have my complete sympathy. I fully expect the snow to be gone and the trees to at least be thinking about leaves by March 1st, and as this has failed to happen even once in my twenty years of existence, this part of the year makes me pretty crabby too.

My, but we're in a mood today! LOL! I'm so with you on it, though. Today I went out to the barn to have my horses' feet trimmed. It was NOT that cold at my house. The wind at the barn, though—I've been home for four hours and I am STILL cold! After two cups of hot chocolate! Argh! I'd tell you which pattern that is, but my Stitchionary is also way the fuck over there.

Oh dear, I was wondering what the problem was with that square. I knew it couldn't have been your fault.

I'm not going to go on about the shitty winter we've had in the PNW this year, since you guys have shitty winters every year, but GOD, what a shitty winter! It's acting a bit Spring-like here, but I will not let my guard down, or we'll be up to our arses in snow and living without electricity for another 2 weeks... oops, I said I wasn't going to go on. Oh well, Franklin, it gets worse as you get older, sorry to tell you. Not the winters, just your tolerance of them.

Oh yeah, eat a Cadbury egg reeeaaal slow with a nice glass of Shiraz. I promise you'll feel better. Then finish the bottle.

I recognize the Season of Crabbiness. It has broken out here, too, despite the fact that winter started rather late. However, my partner informs me that when he was in Chicago last week is was above 0 (Celsius) and thus you should stop complaining. We are forecast -24C overnight and very windy and I'm sure you know what that combination means. See, crabby.

My husband and I *both* are laughing out loud. We have been grumbly all day because Idaho is the same as Chicago without the lake. Windy, Cold, Might snow, Might not. I lived outside of Chicago for 3 years, I feel for you and raise my Iced Caramel Machiatto to you (had to have something to remind me of summer).

Would this be a good time to remind you that California is a lovely place to live? I can give you a list of the yarn shops. I don't own an overcoat. I live in the Bay Area, where last week, it actually rained, but we got over it. Now it's back to perfect. Tell you what, I'm never moving back to the East Coast again. We have more exotic life than Narnia out here, too.

Bridget isn't the only one who dreads summer--I hate heat, and it's been over 80 here for the last couple of days, with no end to this in sight. Yard is totally dried out and baked hard. SoCal is a bitch and I'm ready to move back to cold country. Maybe not Chicago, but wanna trade for a week or two?? I need me some winter chill!

Not to worry, dear Franklin, Mercury will be out of retrograde Wednesday.

Yeah, that's what I said, too.

We need a bit more cold up NW of Boston, actually. Part of the natural cycle of things is that the goddamn mosquitos and other horrible bugs get killed dead by -10F for a week or so, and this year, the bug-killing cold hasn't quite panned out. Fingers crossed that your crappy weather floats on east and sits on us for a while.

That looks like diagonal cluster lace. I don't remember there being an error, but sometimes clues and I are not the best of friends. I do like that stitch though, and have a tendency to use it anywhere I need something a bit geometric. It makes such beautifully defined diamond shaped holes.

I'm entering my own Season of Crabbiness here in Perth, Western Australia. It's the beginning of autumn and tomorrow it will be 42 degrees (Celsius)for the second day running. That's 108 in Fahrenheit. I wish we had just a little of your Chicago weather here!

Holy crap, I feel your pain. I'm from California, and my parents still live there, so imagine my pain when I'm on the phone with them and bitch about the fucking weather and they're like, "Oh, sorry, but it's 70 here... oh, did we tell you the tulips and daffodils and iris are out?" fuck.

Knitting doldrums. Lots of that going around. Boston is the same. Looks nice from the couch but will freeze your nose off if you put it outside the door. Love your BBF swatch - Carol has me knitting with another yarn (quelle horreur) but I think there's a sock coming my way soon!

Having been born and raised in Chicago I can completely feel you. Now I live in Idaho, and the weather is just as shitty; windy and cold with summer usually around july....in a good year.Thanks for the awesome giggle and the happyshinyfuckit lace is pretty 'cool'

Thw swatch is lovely; your mood...not so much. Hang in there, or better yet, don't. Grab a cheap flight to somewhere warm and sunny for the weekend. Sympathy here...you made me remember how suicidal I used to get every February when I lived in New England.

Mama knows. The crazy thing is I visited Chicago last Thursday through Sunday. As in went there voluntarily. For fun. The temp was about the same as home (rural Ohio - south of Cleveland), but goddamn it that damp wind was a bitch. I think I got chilblains. You know, chilblains, like what Victorian orphans got from living in workhouses.

Hi Franklin:I emailed you last week and offered to send you free yarn from my new web shop if you would critique it for me. I just assumed you didn't want to do it because I didn't hear from you, but you made the "free yarn" comment today and it got me thinking that maybe you didn't get the email.....so did you get my email? I sent it to franklin@franklinhabit.com

I appreciate your cynicism. I am in the throes of the Winter Doldrums as well (as well as the Heartbreak Doldrums, the My Career is Going Nowhere Doldrums, and the My Meds Aren't Working Doldrums) This was just the thing to make me crack a smile. Thank you.(If the sample shot was in green, it was vol. 1 of the Stitionary.)

I'm de lurking to raise my mug of cocoa high in agreement! I'm in Minnesnowta, where its more frigid than a nun, and I am just trying to remember that summer will come again... some day... I hope...Screw it. Lets just go to Mexico. I'm sure Dolores knows of some great establishments...

Sorry to hear about your cranky troubles. No one appreciates a good crabby these days. Nevermind - I will comfort myself with my 'Lucy Van Pelt' underwear. What, everyone needs to have 'SO WHAT?!' plastered all over their butt.

Nice stitch pattern/yarn combo, btw.

Franklin, is there any possibility of providing your spots on Cast-on for download seperatley? While I love cast-on there is a limit to the number of times I need to hear each episode (then I simply hanker for MORE NEW ONES) while 'quoth the romney' never gets old.

Gorgeous knitting, and mindless is a bonus this time of year. Man, I so remember the march moods! 10 years in madison, and i Just couldn't take it anymore. I don't miss midwest winters one little bit, but I really really miss midwest people. In a big big way.

In the not-to-be-outdone weather talk...be comforted....I live in Dublin, Ireland where it's pre-spring-but-summer's-never-coming, with no snow to cover the muck. At least warm weather will eventually come to you and you'll get over it. Not a hope for us though. Nice stitches by the way.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. wrote that in some parts of the world (such as Upstate New York, where I lived for years) there are actually SIX seasons: spring, summer, fall, locking, winter, unlocking. It's the last three that raise the homicide and suicide rates. Good thing there's yarn and good blogs to read.

And I'm in my third round of Upper Respiratory Unhappiness since 2007 started. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Fell OFF my chair laughing at this post. The temperature here actually struggled up to 20 degrees today...which isn't enough, of course, to melt the ice that I intend to right now go hurl at widows and orphans. Someone wrote that March is an "oozing sore of a month"--can't remember who, and the scroll button is out of reach of my thumb currently. but it's a perfect description. Thank you for this!

Apologies if this comment is "too much" but I need to say that last night here in conservative rural Western PA, in spite of the warming trend, I almost said, "you too assfacesisterfucker" to the grocery store clerk who told me to have a nice night. I know the season of which you speak.

Ok, here it is... I know it's March because even though there is nearly 2 feet of snow on the ground and it is about zero degrees in the morning, the g-d birds are singing loudly at 4:30 in the morning and eau de skunk is in the air. I also become another year older.

I know, I keep saying "I am sooooo over winter, why doesn't it just get nice out." But nobody listens. This is why they invented spring break. I just visited London, the tulips and crocuses are up (crocii?) and everyone has adorable flower filled window boxes - it was loverly.

Weather report for PNW, spoken in smarmy voice by smarmy weather man: "Hello Seattle! Tired of the windstorms that knock out power for weeks and the minor snow flurries that shut down schools for day? Well, folks, the end is in sight! Oh no, it's not Spring, it's the Rainy Season, and have we got a show for you! Batten down the hatches, 'cause we're in for 8 DAYs of driving rain, with flood warnings for the Entire State! You poor saps who have nothing to get around on but a motorcycle? Suckers!"

I miss you. I suffer with depression in the winter ( yes, even here on the west coast of canada where we seldom get snow)Are you depressed? Hmm? does Dolores have email - maybe you need a hoof in the butt :)

Copyright and Posting Notice

All original content of this blog, both words and images, is held in copyright by F. Habit. Use of any kind, in any medium, for any reason without express, prior written consent is prohibited.

Permission is not granted for the posting of any content from this site to Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, or any other Web site.

Please do not provide links to any product, service, organization or cause when leaving comments unless directly related to the topic of the post. Unsolicited advertising will be deleted and repeat offenders will be blocked.

When in doubt, please ask. I'm not mean, I'm just committed to preserving the quality of experience for my readers.