Candles look innocent , straight and colorful but there is a major problem therein. The candles are made of either natural wax or paraffin wax. Paraffin wax is a petroleum product and hence , causes immense amount of pollution. 90% of candles in burnt on Diwali are made of paraffin wax. Considering that each house burns at least 100 candles per day during the 5 days of Diwali, and there are 5 million households in Delhi – we burn close to 2.5 billion candles – the smoke is deadly. Please ban paraffin candles

Also , when paraffin candles are banned , people will make bee wax candles – and then it would lead to extinction of bees. And we know what will happen if bees go extinct.

So a good strategy would be to ban all candles on Diwali, except the tiny number that is used in other places of worship for other communities.

2. Sweets

The amount of sweets hogged on Diwali is huge. Even the normal god fearing person eats 1kg of sweets during the 5 days of Diwali. This leads of larger risk of diabetes and heart ailments in a particular religion. More diabetes and heart ailments means more patients – and more patients imply that the demographic of patients changes in favor of a particular community that celebrates Diwali. This further means that all resources allocated for health care are exclusively hogged up this particular community – all in the name of Diwali.

3. Meeting each other

This is the most ridiculous part of Diwali. People go crazy to meet their relatives and friends. The amount of travelling required needs a lot of fuel. Fuel means smoke and smoke means pollution. Moreover there are huge traffic jams , increase the amount of pollution manifolds. Considering the amount of wastage of fuel and harm to environment – even such meetings should be banned.

4. Diyas

Diyas burning mustard oil present another danger. It is common knowledge that mustard oil is the best for cooking , considering its high smoking point and low PUFA content. But this useful oil is all burnt by the majority community – leaving all others to use normal vegetable oils and even cow ghee for cooking. Is it fair that one community burns away this oil and rest are forced to adopt unhealthy ways of cooking for a mere festival ? The burning of Diyas should also be banned.

5. Teen Patti

Teen Patti should be banned too. There are no solid reasons but the very fact that the author loses huge amount of money on it every year is a good enough reason.

In short, I would request SC to pass an order that ensures that Diwali is celebrated without lighting candles or diyas, , without any sweets, without any Teen Patti and definitely without meeting near and dear ones – as this leads to huge amount of pollution and wastage .

This ban should also be given a chance.

Note : Often the Internet goes after satire thinking it is for real – accidentally trolling the people with the same sentiment as theirs. Please do not do so in this case.