Thursday, September 4

Social circles

So Bubba was bragging yet again about how he knew everyone there was to know, just name someone, anyone, and he knew them. So the bartender finally decides to call his bluff: "Okay, how about Harrison Ford?"

"Sure, Harrison and I are old friends." And Bubba arranges for the two of them to fly out to Hollywood. They arrive at the studio and knock on Harrison Ford's door -- and sure enough, Harrison shouts out, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, the bartender is unwilling to let it go. Maybe it was just coincidence? So Bubba challenges him to name someone else, and the bartender quickly comes up with: "How about the president?"

"Sure, no problem. Let's fly out to Washington." Off they go -- and when the president spots Bubba at the front gates of the White House, he motions him and the bartender over: "Bubba, what a surprise! I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in! and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the bartender is very curious now, but still not totally convinced. After all, the president meets a lot of people during all the campaigning. So Bubba suggests he name someone else, anyone else, and after a moment the bartender comes up with: "The pope."

"Sure, no problem," says Bubba, and off they fly to Rome. But when they find themselves assembled with the masses in Vatican Square, Bubba shakes his head: "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I am sure I can speak to the guards and ask to go upstairs. Then I will come out on the balcony with the pope." And with that, he disappears into the crowd, headed for the Vatican doors. Less than half an hour later, as promised, he has emerged on the balcony with the pope.

But when he returns, he finds that his friend surrounded by paramedics after having had a heart attack. Working his way to his friend's side, Bubba asks urgently, "What happened?"

"What happened!" echoes the bartender. "I was doing fine when you and the pope came out on the balcony, until the man next to me said, 'Who is that on the balcony with Bubba?'"