~ For lovers of fashion in film

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Howdy! I’m back for a bit. Been out in mommy wilderness, I will not bore you with the details, needless to say, kindergarteners are buck wild and they do not give a F**k if you’re tired, hungry or on my last nerve.

I’m escaping to see the one and only Iris Apfel, in person y’all! The late Albert Maysles last doc Iris will screen on April 27th, 2015 at 7:30 p.m. at LACMA, and includes a conversation with Iris. Not many tix left so go quick, click and buy.

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Lots of previously unseen vintage and stunning contemporary photography from the gold standard of photojournalism, National Geographic. Just looking at the slideshow online makes you feel like you’re in an Indiana Jones movie.

It illuminates the human condition and the breathtaking beauty of this fragile planet of ours. The special October issue is on newsstands now. If it doesn’t inspire you to create, it might inspire you to travel, which will undoubtedly inspire you to create.

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Hmmm… WTF is going on the Red Carpet tonight? Everyone’s skin either looks like woodgrain or they’re pasty-beyond-the-dead pale with dark lipstick. I don’t really comment on this stuff because it’s just done to death, but OH MA GOD. It’s really, confusing me. How do people with this much $$, this much help can look so god-awful. Senior proms have better style.

Christ…

It’s either Vegas, or lace curtains going on tonight. People need to just start picking things that make them look good, trends be damned! If you’re still indecisive, watch any Audrey Hepburn movie for inspiration. Those dresses are over 50 years old and look exponentially better than what is parading down there tonight.

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Hey folks. Haven’t posted in a while, and I’m truly sorry for that. I miss me blog somethin’ awful. Had some family stuff I had to take care of, but had to write about this supremely awesome weekend.

First off, if you haven’t noticed, I’m a huge sports fan. Can’t watch as much (OK, none at all now) sports as before after having a baby, but I did watch some football this weekend, and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. Hooo, weee, that was some good football! Heartbreaking for Peyton, but Ray Lewis and his Ravens will live to play another day. How they did it? Craziness and sheer force of will for Lewis, probably. And San Francisco? Kaepernick was on FUEGO. Stud. I lived up in SF for a few years and left in 2009, and they had been SUCKING for over a decade. Happy for them.

Secondly, was that the BEST Golden Globes/awards telecast ever? Tina Fey and Amy Poehler threw down. They dare you to be funnier than them. Ex-presidents! See-through dresses! Jodie Foster coming out of a very transparent closet! So good.

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Took more time off from the blog for the summer than planned but I’m back in movie viewing/screen-capturing/clothes-envying mode. How was your summer? Is it just me, or are you dying for a cold blustery day so you can snuggle up in a wool fisherman’s sweater and nurse a pot au chocolat? The summer was way too hot and humid for me. I tend to wilt and complain when it’s above 75 with the slightest bit of moisture.

Speaking of vengeance and movies… It’s the day after September 11th, always a somber one, and then we hear of the shocking murders in Libya. Some wack job makes a horrible “film” that is clearly made to be incendiary and offensive to Muslims, and SURPRISE, it’s inflamed the Arab world and four Americans have been killed in retaliation. The blame squarely lands of the people who committed these acts, but the filmmaker has shown a callous disregard to the possible and obvious outcome of making that film. I don’t begrudge him his first amendment rights, but come on, let’s use some common sense. The same reason you don’t yell FIRE! in a crowded theater.

But now, you can yell GUN! I didn’t have time to post about the Aurora, Colorado shootings, and then the Olympics swept into town and all media coverage followed, so the shootings receded into the background for me. I took the little guy to see, “Brave,” and had fun watching the trailers with him. Then a card came up to instruct people to be aware of the exits in case of an emergency. I held my little one a little tighter, reminded of the fact that all those people were in that theater doing the exact same thing as me. We go to the movies to take refuge from life. If it’s too hot, or cold, or rainy, or if you need a good laugh, or you want a good cry, it’s a place we all go. Up until that point it was a safe haven.

I don’t have a clever quote to wrap things up. I tried but they all sounded trite. My heart goes out to the families of the victims in both Benghazi and Aurora.

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This is the second year they’ve been doing this. I used to read this all the time when I was a development assistant. It was strictly news, but with a dollop of party photos. Now with Janice Min at the controls (she revamped Us Weekly) it’s way more glamorous. I don’t think stylists have power per se, you hire them, and you can fire them. But they’re definitely influential and can help you get attention, and that in itself is worth their expense. They are highly connected, and this business, like any other, is who you know.

Being in the right dress, at the right time is like being Lana Turner at Schwab’s drugstore. Not being in the right dress, at the right time? Well, it’s hard winning the folks who pick spokesmodels and whatnot over again once you’ve made a bad impression. Think about Eva Green. Tall, thin, naturally buxom, striking green eyes, an ingenue everyone wanted in their campaign. Armani used her right after “Beautiful Dreamers.” Then she was cast in “Casino Royal,” as Vesper.

It seems she naturally gravitates towards gothic, so go ahead and do that, but you can do it with a dash of Dolce and Gabbana and a bit of Dita Von Tese. She did get a contract here and there, Dior perfume for one. But she could’ve done much better for herself.

Shailene Woodley is a young actress trying to establish herself in a sea of other ingenues. What better way than to wow the powers that be on the red carpet?

But this dress is not going to do it.

If she worked with a different stylist, the result might have been different. I’m not hating the dress, it’s just not right for the Oscars and for a young lady trying to make a global impression. She’s tall with a great figure, she can wear anything and look good and they still managed to make her look, eh. Maybe she wanted to look more grown up? Why? Enjoy being young and have fun with your clothes and hair. Unfortunately, the world took notice of her, and quickly wrote her off.

This Proenza Schouler dress did little to wipe the white Valentino clean. See how they styled it for the runway? Hem below the knee, prim and proper, mixed with leather gloves and heels, naughty. It's always a balance you're trying to achieve. No balance on her look. Photo: http://www.redcarpet-fashionawards.com

It may seem like superficial nonsense, but trying to stay in the game, and get ahead for these ladies is Olympic-sized competition. You need to stand out, and with today’s image driven media, you need a look that hooks. For you it equals, contracts which means more $$, but also those ads will be see by millions, especially those who are casting. Believe me, casting is like (now step back in time with me) going into a record store. You’re overwhelmed with choices and get stuck. Then you flip through a magazine and see cute Hailee Steinfeld in a Miu Miu ad, she’s perfect for it!, and that gets the ball rolling. Also, think about how short some careers are. These contracts are only going to come when you’re hot. Better to cash in while that slot is still paying.

So in other words, it’s interesting to see the Hollywood Reporter start naming and giving recognition to the people behind the curtain.

Hmmm. Thought I hit publish for this yesterday. Oh well, better late than never.

Or How to Succeed in Business by Letting Your Boss Schtupp his Secretary in Your Apartment. Directed by Billy Wilder, and written by Mr. Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond. Jack Lemmon stars as C.C. Baxter a worker bee in a large insurance firm in Manhattan. Shirley MacLaine is Fran Kubelik, a young elevator operator, and fresh meat to the men at the firm.

This is 1960, “Mad Men” era, tons of Don Drapers running around gleefully cheating on their wives. The last era when middle-age white men could be unaccountable. Watching it again, I can’t help but think this must’ve been really racy for its time. Infidelity! Premarital sex! Extra-marital sex! Suicide!.. A comedy! All presented rather nonchalantly, with a little Jewish borscht belt delivery in some instances.

I also can’t help but think of what Baxter’s apartment would go for now. $8,000 a month? $1.5 million for sale?

For those in LA, it’s on TCM (Turner Classic Movies, on demmand.) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

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Went to the Arclight on Sunset to see “The Artist,” but they changed the time, adding a “Shame” screening in its place! I love me some Michael Fassbender, but really wasn’t in the mood to see him fully frontal at 10:45 in the morning! In person, maybe…

But they did have some costumes from “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” and the new Mission Impossible, “Ghost Protocol,” on display.

Set in 1973 among the British spies and the Cold War.

Paula Patton's dress in "Ghost Protocol."

Tom Cruise's tux.

They also have great film and fashion books.

The woman second from the left is Anderson Cooper's mom, Gloria Vanderbilt.

After paying $6 for parking (!! for a movie I couldn’t see !!) my friend and I went shopping instead. We checked out the new Kelly Wearstler store on Melrose. Her stuff was nice, albeit $$$. Lots of tie dye, silk, featherweight jerseys. You can tell how her interior decorator eye prefers texture, pattern and print. Her accessories incorporate lux leathers and texture with chunky metal and mineral hardware.