(The male in this story is a regular customer who has become a really good friend. Working the door at a Gentlemen’s Club, I have to use a fake name at work. When at work, the regular customer refuses to call me by my fake name, which is ‘Jessica.’)

Regular: “Sandy! How’s Monday going?”

Me: “Okay, slow, but the name’s not Sandy. That’s not even my real name. You know that.”

Regular: “I know. You’re just… not a Jessica. I can’t call you Jessica.”

Me: “What exactly makes me ‘not a Jessica’?”

Regular:*pauses* “Well, because I know another Jessica, and she’s really hot.”