The online journal of SUCCESS

rumplecision

better than party shuffle: just organize everything by “track number,” then listen to all the “track 12″s in a row. jammin’

try writing a book! pretend like you are the opposite gender! think about college, what was THAT all about?

books with “sex” in a list-of-threes in their subtitles, e.g. “sex, death, and the american strip mall.” snooze!!!

kafka’s “metamorphosis”-style short story where I am riding my bike to work and a Latino gentlemen wolf-whistles and says “¡Heyyy, mamacíta!” and I think, “that’s odd, it almost sounded like he was speaking to me“. Then a little further a young indie-rock guy pointedly oggles my butt as I’m rolling through the intersection of s. van ness and 26th st, and I think, “hmmm, that fellow didn’t look gay, I wonder if there’s something stuck to my ass”. Then I walk into my office and everyone stares at me with erotic unrecognition. Ronfred, the sassy robot receptionist asks, “Can I help you, miss?” I have woken up to find that I’ve been turned into a woman!! nightmare!!!