UGH! I really blew it today.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

So, today started out really well. I was up at 530am, took the dogs to the park and we all walked for a bit. When I came home, I hopped on the treadmill for 25 minutes, and then 25 minutes on the bicycle. Sounds good so far right? All was well until I went to my moms house to take her out to a lunch of her choice for her Birthday. She chose Mexican Food at a really good restaurant. Chips and salsa came, an appetizer of Jalepeno Poppers were ordered (I ate one), then I ordered a bean burrito with cheese and sour cream (ate half of it). Once we were all done there, we went back to the house and all enjoyed a piece of strawberry cake (fresh strawberries with the glaze and whipped cream topping on a white cake), sugar free strawberry ice cream; all of which I bought and brought with me for Mom's Birthday. Did I have to bring a cake? Probably not but in our culture it is like everything revolves around food. Did I have to have some cake? NO...but I did and it wasn't a small piece. I felt guilty the entire time I ate it and felt sick to my stomach afterwards. Then to make matters worse, when I got home tonight, my husband took us out to Carinos for dinner and I had a Chicken Parmesan Pannini...it was good (only ate maybe half of it). However, I ate probably a full loaf of the bread with the oil all by myself. Geeze. I also have to confess on the way home, I really wanted to have a sugar free Slurpee..guess what, the machine was broken. So, instead I got an apple fritter and I ate the entire thing. OMG. I really need to figure out what is going on with me. It seems like I end up doing this kind of behavior a few times a week. I know it's binging on really bad types of food. I am emotionally tied to food and I don't know how to cut the tie and stop this behavior. UGH. I guess I just need to take it one meal at a time. Tomorrow is another day and another chance to get back on track.

WATERDIAMONDS
First, your desire for health has to be stronger than your desire to keep your unhealthy habits, and until it is, it will be difficult to change. So maybe the initial thing you want to do is be totally honest about what you really desire.

Do you REALLY desire heatlh?

Do you desire it more than you desire crappy food?

Second, if you do choose health, you may want to do some reading on food addiction. The commonly accepted hallmarks of addiction of any kind include:

Compulsion—addicts continue to use a substance despite negative health and social consequencesTolerance—over time, progressively greater amounts of the substance are needed to reach and maintain the “high”Withdrawal—addicts experience physical and psychological stress symptoms when the substance is discontinued

Is it possible you have a tendency toward food addiction as emotional ballast?

Third, you might want to consider working on your attitude about this process as much as you do the food you eat and the exercise you do/don't do.

Because, as the SP mantra goes, "If you want something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t you’ll make an excuse."

You can find a way not to eat the excesses you ate on your mom's birthday. You can find a way to celebrate without food.

But first you have to get your head in the game. Because the bottom line is this: