Friday, May 31, 2013

There are incidents in life which cannot be erased from the memory even if you soak the brain in h2so4.

I am always inclined towards open options theory. I always try to keep not one , but two to three good back ups in every possible task. This line of thought made me appear for Ph-test.

Elitmus is a really good firm providing HR solutions to reputed clients in software space. Before you can use their service , it is necessary to score a good percentile in their PH-test.

It was on 17th April that i had to appear for Ph-Test in Mumbai.

My center was located inside a govt school near Kings Circle.

So i caught a train on 16th night from ahmedabad which according to my calculation would drop me at borivalli at 5.30am.

The calculation seemed almost perfect and I headed to my Masi's home in borivalli near Bhakti complex.

Freshned up , had a coffee and checked all documents and stationery items (I googled the word stationery because i get very confused in the two spellings) for the exam because it was a paper-pencil test.I left for Borivalli station again to catch a local to get to kings circle , as my masa told it would take around an hour to reach there.

I have the habit of confirming the same thing again and again , not because i doubt a particular answer , but same repeatitive answer gets fit into your memory well. So i asked a lot of people regarding where to change the train and whether to pick fast or slow and routes etc.

In this whole process of coming down to mumbai from ahmedabad , i did not have water anywhere in between , not even at home.

After i gripped a local from borivalli at 8.00am , it was all smooth. Being a sunday , there were very few passengers on train and the soft breeze left me cool and calm. I went so calm and out of my mind that I decided to get off the train and buy a bisleri from the saamnewala store and get back to the train because there was no rush.I was so out of mind that i left my backpack on the train itself.

I got off the train and headed to buy some water.He demanded 20 rupees to which i had only 100 rs note.

Bisleri guy : Bhaiya chutte do

Me : Boss nai hai , thoda jaldi karona

Bisleri guy : bas 2 minute

Me : Boss 50 kaat lo lekin jaldi karo.

And the train left !

The pick up speed of locals is like anything. I started running towards the door , but it went so fast that i could not get on.

The train went off and I was BLANK. My backpack had flew to vegas !

I was not able to think for few seconds as to what should i do , but then i boomfoot and caught a nearby person aged 35. Told him the whole scenario and he told me to catch next train. On the contrary , i was thinking to inform the station police to get that backpack from the next stop.I already wasted around 3-4 minutes in the process and I kept calm and decided to board the next train.

The difference between the two trains was around 10 minutes but the only way i could catch my train was at Dadar.

After reaching Dadar , I saw the train besides mine but my luck was utterly butterly gutter that time. There was a huge spiky partition between the two platforms. For a moment I thought of jumping it but then it would risk my lund for life. I ran through the overbridge only to find that the train left. Remember , the pick up speed of the train !

It was such a moment that if i had that dragon mouth , i would have fired flames all over dadar out of frustration.

A lot of thoughts were going on in my mind at that time and it was already 9.00am.

I sat there on the railway Baakda and had pulpy orange. Then I headed to find the police arena at dadar. I had to cross the platforms to reach the police control room and so i again started walking , but slowly because I had lost hope. I reached the room and met a 40-42 aged policewala. I naratted the whole experience and in the mean time , my cell rang !

Luckily he was on platform where the original train was. I ran again through the overbridge to get there. He(Avinash) shouted on me like anything and handed me all the stuff. I was so much relieved that I holded his hand for like 20-30 seconds straight.

Avinash was the same guy who was sitting opposite to me in local , and I had once asked him the route to kings circle. See , the habit of confirming played its part. He immediately left because he lost a lot of time waiting for me.

Friday, May 24, 2013

If you have a camera phone , and if you have a spacious memory card , you must keep all the photos clicked since the time you buy the phone. I prefer that thing. Because in free lazy time , when you grill through those photos from the beginning , you can actually visualize how your time passed in the last whole year or 2 , what the case may be.I was just passing through some pics of my last summer in gandhinagar.This post is specifically meant to describe the daily rakhorofy we used carry out because i am very much into that mood right now. I hope you are able to get that mood. Love.The good characters include : Mr. Karan Mahant - He is one the most spontaneous people i have ever met in my life.At one moment you would find him talking about his exchanges with chicago negros and at other moment he would be smoking and talking some parallel universe shit.Mr. Arjun Mahant - Its difficult to get a direction to get him hooked on that topic except football. Even football has a limited amount to his attention.Talks about ultra high society and has in-line thoughts too.Mr Mitesh J Dave - Eats , sleeps and roams like a zombie.Makes wierd of the wierdest plans which can be executed only after 2am.All people considers him a sort of geek because of solution providing nature of him.Amen!The day starts somewhere between 11.30am to 1.30pm.Lets take the base at 11.30am. Usually karan wakes up the earliest amongst us and we're asleep.He has his pre-brush smoke and we're asleep.He gets ready and we're asleep.He kicks our tummy and we're still asleep and then when he thinks of hitting our tools to wake us up , we get an intuition that we should wake up.However late anybody is , breakfast is breakfast. Breakfast at around 3-4pm after everyone is wide awake.The time between 4 to 6.30 varies in the activities of gym or basketball or counterstrike or snooker or PS3 or jogging or cooking or surfing or swimming.We share some beers from 6.45 to 8pm proceeding for dinner. Eat a little of it , while making plans for midnight food preparations.Now the good time starts.We move out of the place for an hour towards gandhi mandir road or infocity. Spending an hour over some cool chocolate shake or lassi at trupti , its almost 11pm out there. Samir , akash and other people starts pouring in from each and every sector and car goes to 160kmhr over a free way with pump music blowing minds.People sync in the voice like anything on every beat.Sometimes i wish if such enthusiasm is shown on some good start-up , it would reach heights.We head on to terrace which is a 3 layered terrace.Some or the other person has some alcohol with him because we fund a lot for it. Just like buying gold you know ! Drinks pour in from 12 to 1 am while some guys play FIFA while some are with their girls on facebook. Around 1.30am all of them except the one with girls , come up to terrace and friends shift to the middle terrace.Some or the other guys shells out a thick spliff and everyone gets in buzzy mood after 2am.The guys with girlies come up too.Random talks ranging from arab girls to stategy mother teresa used to help people , from india's mausi mentality to siliconvalley studs , from how do crocodiles have sex to lets record a song and youtube it!Crazy ideas flows for an hour after which people move onto the topmost terrace while 1 or 2 are already dead. More buzz at more heights. One or the other start dancing accompanied by singing and last smokes of the day. Around 4am , there are only heroes left with somewhat energy who goes down to kitchen to have some delicacies saved during dinner. But toungue wants more than saved.We make the best of the bhurjis , best of the sandwiches and best of the milkshakes uptill 4.30-4.45am.Grab them and get into a medium level energy mood clicking some random photos in which one guy slacks off the other guys chaddi and vice versa.We head on to the 16 degree chilled bedroom where its again FIFA while other guys edit the photos with round big bumps and upload them on facebook. Fun.I know this is a common schedule of many amongst you but executing this on a garden facing bunglow with zero risk with friends all over the globe accompanying us, is altogether different experience.We have friends from various different places who mingle their own ideas and games when all are trippy.The days ends around 5-5.30am. Now please don't shout why we wake up so late.People reading this , feel free to join us sometime.I guarantee you won't regret you time.Much love.Thank You.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

ORIGINAL STORY:The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

INDIAN VERSION:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley ,100's of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewherein India ,

....AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding thegrasshoppers, India is still a developing country..! ! !Moral of the Story : GOD SAVE US !