Hey thank you for all the kind words yesterday. I’m done with the over-sharing for a while, I promise. Immediately after writing that post I felt better. You just have to get it out sometimes. So thanks for lending your ear or eyes or whatever body part you used to translate that post. Now onto regularly scheduled programming that contains wit, snark, and red heels.

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So you’re about to be insanely jealous. Like possibly throw your desk over and hurt a co-worker jealous. You ready? Ok. *deep breath* I got this dress for $20. It’s silk, it’s lined, it’s from J.Crew (outlet). Do I need to give you a minute to clean up the mess you just made? I’ll wait.

As I was pity shopping the other day (don’t act like you don’t know what this means), I wasn’t really looking for anything, just going through the motions knowing I’ve got no money to spend. But it turns out, this dress was looking for me. There it was, hanging alone — in my size, on sale and the only one left in a sea of not-my-size and I-don’t-think-so dresses. I saw a sign that said ‘60% off lowest marked price’ and I choked on my own spit. I seriously thought it was a sick joke. But it was not, it was marked down to $20. I felt like they should have given me a medal for such a great find. Unfortunately, they do not award medals; they just gave me a receipt.