"My Thoughts, Ideas And Other Mental Problems"

Baptist minister Adam Fannin is jealous that Pastor Steven Anderson has been dubbed “America’s most homophobic preacher” and is trying to give him a run for the money.

Not only has Fannin stolen Anderson’s shtick, he’s even got Anderson’s look down pat. Even their churches’ names are similar. While being anti-gay is hardly unique in America, there’s nothing worse than a second-rate wanna-be bigot – and that’s what this guy is.

In a sermon at Jacksonville, Florida‘s Stedfast Baptist Church, Fannin did his best to up the stoopid factor by telling his congregants how to avoid a “flaming foo-foo fruit loop” waiter.

“If I ever go to a restaurant and sit down and here comes this flaming foo-foo fruit loop – I’m just like, oh great,” Fannin says in the sermon. “I’m here to have a date night, enjoy some time with my wife and because of the lisps, I can’t even, you know.”

“My recommendation is just don’t order anything. Tell them to wait. You sit there patiently and look around and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker. You will find somebody that you notice that’s busy and that’s doing stuff.

“You say, ‘Yeah, that’s the one right there!’ You walk up to them and you say, ‘Hey, what’s your name? Have we had you before? Can we get you over here?’”

“I guarantee you it always works, they say ‘No problem’ and then you can enjoy your dinner. And you better tip her well, and let that foo-foo know what he missed out on. That’s how you avoid a gay waiter.”