2 years ago

Please with a cherry on top read this? :D

So I was named after a plant, don't you dare laugh. It's an iris flower to be precise and not only is it a verdure, but an anatomy of the eye. If I'm not terribly mistaken, flowers bloom and the eye discloses all emotions hidden within ourselves no matter how well we physically attempt to conceal them. So if you could agree with the unkempt conspiracy that I've messily configured, that we're all blooming truths being saddened by the view our iris beholds, and with periodic growth, the more corrupt our scenery becomes. So in simpler words, the longer the stem, the sadder the truth. Hopefully that made sense and I didn't come across to you as if I'm calling humanity an "emotional eye flower". Well, now that I think about it, we're all sort of emotional, but we're definitely no rose in a park, neither an iris. Well, only if your name is Rose, like my mother's, or Iris like mine, and you're in a park which neither of us are currently located. My mother's at work and I'm home, sandwiched in-between quilts, quietly munching on egg rolls and scrolling through highly graphic photos on tumblr reblogged on my dashboar-- Woah, I should shut up. I'm so sorry, my awkwardness is showing. Ever since I was a child I've always been content with myself but the more I've aged, the less comfortable I've become.
I have this bad habit that when I'm depressed, I'm extra kind and swallow the sadness, keeping it locked in a volt which no one but me is allowed to unlock. Lately, this irate habit has become a horrible lifestyle that has caused me to contemplate self-harm-- But no! I could never purposely hurt myself. I haven't been through enough trauma, felt enough pain, it would be selfish since others have been through so much and have more superior reasons than I do. But only because they have better reasons, does that mean mine don't matter and that I, as an individual have to have a certain severity of problems till I injure my body? Sometimes, this world is so confusing and faulty, I literally want to take a star ship and abort this planet.