Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Girls Get Laid Too

So something pretty awesome has happened since I cooked up this blog and wrote What I Learned from Sex on the First Date...people fucking read my blog! I mean that posted pretty much did exactly what I wanted it to do; it opened up the floor and people were finally able to talk about sexuality. Wow! Holy smokes you guys are awesome.

Not only did you read what sassy things I had to say but you wanted to talk about it! That's pretty rad. I think you like this side of me, if I do say so myself.

I even had to discuss the hard questions. A lady-friend asked me a legitimate question that really deserves some attention. How was I so confident about my sex life and sleeping with [The Guy]? She said she had been there and she always felt a little closed off and remorseful about it.

And that is a problem.

Our society is so ass-backwards that sometimes it can be hard to see which path is shittier. Every turn our lives take, some egotistical bastard is going to be on the other end of that road waiting to wave his fat finger of death in your face and call you a slut. In a "sex sells" society, we are still very limited and its hard to explore and love our sexuality and be proud of that side.

That is not okay.

I know that it is easy to put baby in a corner and think that you were seduced or that he manipulated you into bed and you fell for it like the sucker you think you are but stop that! There are two scenarios here that you have to embrace: 1) You liked it, don't diminish that feeling. 2) So he ended up being a dillweed and its a mistake that you will always have. People make mistakes all the time because that is part of life.

I know that not every sexytime story has a happy ending (see what I did there?) but society does enough slut-shaming for us, there is no need to do it to yourself. Don't see it as guys vs. girls. Just know that people use people for sex and generally girls need to get laid too. Besides, in Ovid's Metamorphoses the Greeks divined that girls get NINE TIMES as much pleasure from sex as men. Revel in that and rock that snatch!

5 comments:

I had always been averse to openly talking about sex. It usually took some alcohol for me to lower my inhibitions. Of course, that was when I was still card carrying member of the Virgin club. But as I mature as an adult, I find that it's much easier to be open my feelings in a variety of ways, sexuality included. It's a part of life. Sex happens and I think that you're spot on that this stigma about women talking openly about sex needs to end.

Look at the song Blurred Lines for example. If a woman wrote a song like that she'd be labelled a whore and shamed for expressing part of her identity.

The funny thing about me is that when I was a virgin, I talked more openly about sex. To be honest, I think it was because I didn't really grasp the full idea of what I was actually talking about. I certainly never had the whore moan tingles when I would talk about it back then.

But now, it usually creeps into even my most basic conversations. I've grown witty and sharp in my old age. And I'm sure by this point SOMEONE somewhere thinks I am a slut...but everyone else is too busy having fun with me to care about that one person.

It's not only women who feel that, but men too. I know after my break-up a couple of months ago, I was in shambles. I wasn't allowed to speak to her, which meant the answers I was needing for closure were never answered. And I'm not going to sugarcoat it; it drove me bonkers.

I've always found it very hard to talk about sex, as....well, I'm still new to it all.Even when I was in my relationship, I tried overcoming a lot of hurdles, especially 'stage fright'. But that, like the relationship itself, crashed and burned.

Now that I finally got a lot of the answers I was wanting from her, I still feel some of the pain of what she put me through, of which I'll spare the details.

If anything as of late, I've been doing what I can to speak up more on all sides, especially when it comes to things of a sexual nature. I feel at least with that, I'm being honest to myself.