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how to make my husband love me

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we have been maried 17 years have kids but since our mariage ,my husband does not once even love me ,i have been treated like a servant whether i live at susral or separately,i do everything which i could do for him,house work,i sell my jewllery for money,what more i could do but instead he never say i am good,but say to every body that i am a bad person,all i wanted to ask that what should i do to improve my situation,i need urgent reply please.

Answer

Ulamaa ID 09

Answer last updated on:

23rd July 2007

Answered by:

Ulamaa ID 09

Location: Zambia

Bismillaah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem.

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.

May Allaah reward you for you loyalty towards your husband. After marriage the most important person in the world for a woman is her husband. And obedience to him as long as it does not conflict with the Shariah, is very important. The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said:

*"If I were to command anyone to prostrate (make sajdah) before anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband." (Ahmed)

*If the husband oders her (his wife) to transport stones from a yellow mountain to a black mountain and then from the black mountain to a white mountain (i.e from one mountain to another), then too it will be appropriate for her to do so. (Ahmed)

It is understandable, that continuing to be loyal under circumstances where the husband does not show any sign of appreciation or love can be very difficult. May Allaah reward you for your patience. However, give it a little more time before seeking refuge in divorce or anything of the sort. The most despicable of lawful things in the eyes of Allaah is divorce. Show him that you can be more than someone who is there to simply cook his food and see to his needs. Try and become his friend and companion. Maybe you can speak to him in a nice way and ask him why it is that he still feels you are bad despite all your efforts to please him. Maybe there is some habit of yours that you are unaware of which is displeasing to him.

In order to create love in his heart you can try the following:

1) Recite the following verse of the Qur'aan 99 times and blow on any sweet edible thing. Repeat this for 3 days. Thereafter both husband and wife should partake of it.