Pages

May 7, 2010

Adventures In Babywearing 2.0

By the time I had us ready and out the door for the grocery store I knew she'd be ready for a nap.

I put her in the mei tai, thought maybe we could have a quiet trip, take my time while she slept.

You can lay your head on Mama, and she does. Her soft hair nustles against my neck, I breathe into her, kisses.But she sees the cart and perks up, "Seat, Mama! Seat!"

I untie and

lift

and lower her into the front of the cart.Maybe we'll have a nice nap at home later instead. Better make this quick.

:::::::
She's almost 20 months old now, and I wear hermaybe a couple times a month.

She's busy, on the go. She has a bicycle now, likes to run, loves to birdwatch from the stroller, be closer to dogs.

I wore Gray past the age of two, that was his way. Each child is different.

Strange, yet familiar relief, is that I'm okay with this.

My lap still makes for her favorite chair, my arms her best holder.

:::::::I'll always have babywearing in the title of this journal, it's a part of me. And I'll forever promote the benefits and treasures found [often in a moment of sleepy desperation, or quiet awe, or necessity] in keeping Mama and Baby close to each others' hearts.

My favorite babywearing photo ever, fall 2008

MIGHT I RECOMMEND

I've been babywearing almost five years now and have tried pretty much every style of carrier there is. This is what I've learned...A Ring Sling is a must-have carrier for newborn on up to toddler. My personal favorites include Sakura Bloom [if you have the $, the Luxe is absolutely worth it], I also love the Artisan Silk & Essential Linen.The very first sling (and my forever favorite) I ever bought was on ebay from KimzKreations (she has an etsy shop now and still lists slings every now and then.) Other affordable options are Prairie Mama and Rockin' Baby.

A Stretchy Wrap like a Moby or Sleepy Wrap (or my favorite the Gypsy Mama Bali) is wonderful for newborns, and Woven Wraps like Didymos or Storchenwiege are ideal as baby gets heavier (the woven fabric won't sag like the stretchy.) It looks like a huge long piece of fabric, but is really easy to figure out. Must see: watch this awesome video of a Dad putting his newborn in a wrap.

A Mei Tai is my favorite of all. It's a traditional carrier with four ties, but is the easiest to put on and wear in my opinion. I prefer using my mei tai when baby is at least three or four months old, or whenever they have decent head support, and I continue to use it until they are three years old. It's the most comfortable for longer wear. After all I've tried, my favorites (and the ones I still use today) are a really old Freehand mei tai (the style I prefer is no longer made) and a gorgeous one from Baby So Smart.

If the ties aren't for you, buckle mei tai carriers like the Ergo are the popular choice. Great for active moms & dads, and for longer wear as well. I do like my Ergo, but don't wear it nearly as often as my mei tai.

BABYWEARING SAFETY IN THE NEWS

Due to recent recalls of certain baby carriers (Bag Slings = no no.) that all babywearers have been warning Moms about for YEARS, some people are assuming all babywearing is unsafe. This is not true. Babywearing is absolutely safe and can be an amazing method of bonding and loving your child.

A refresher:

Your baby should be in a position similar to holding them in your arms

You should be able to kiss the top of their head

Your chest, back, or sling fabric should not obstruct baby's face

Do not wear a carrier that is too tight or too loose, or not properly fastened

Read and follow your carrier's instruction manual

Be aware of baby's temperature, don't let them get too hot or too cold

Do not perform any activities that you wouldn't normally do while holding your baby in your arms

IN MY EXPERIENCE

To break it down for you, if you could have only one sling, I'd get a ring sling. Two? Ring sling and mei tai.

Babywearing is not just for parents to have their hands-free. I encourage you to wear your baby in times of rest, and not always busy-work. Take it easy, snuggle, love, do lots-of-nothing with your children while you can.

I'm happy to answer any additional questions you might have in the comments below.

Pouches are tricky because you must get the right size for you and baby. Too small is not good, and too big can cause it to sag or hang and be more like a bag sling. I'm all for pouches IF they are the right size (adjustable are great- like Rockin Baby adjustable pouches) otherwise make sure you measure correctly when ordering and have a good exchange policy!

I had a HotSling and loved it for a newborn/infant.Now with my 3 year old and 19 month old, I am in love with the Ergo, and Mei Tai. We don't go anywhere without them, and our poor strollers are stuffed in storage! Life without strollers is fabulous! There's freedom in that.

My 19 month old will grab a carrier and bring it to me when we're in the house. He just wants to be held close... And I love that. He'll grunt and fuss until I lift him up and snuggle him into the carrier...safe and sound.

Mama Bear - pouch slings are not the same as bag slings. Bag slings are intended to ride very low and the baby is completely covered by the sling. In a pouch sling, they are generally higher up (if you have the right size and it is fitted properly) and their faces are not covered by fabric.

I really love the idea of babywearing (and I have done it before) but I honestly thought that my child had gotten to big for it. I currently have a mobywrap and while I have used it before I don't have a desire to use it now because it is not convenient for shopping trips, quick getting in/out of the car errands, etc.

So, if you have the time, I would love to know what you recommend for a 2-year-old that loves to be held. I'm small framed, on 5'2 and slender, so I would like something versatile for carrying her on my back or hip. One sling to accommodate both would be ideal. The ring sling looks lovely, but can I use that on my back? Thanks for your help (or anyone elses!)

@Christie you might like a mei tai or Ergo. You CAN wear a ring sling on your back, but I don't think it's as comfy as a 2-shouldered carrier. One other option I've used before is the Ellaroo Mei Hip carrier - to be worn just on your hip.

BUT I definitely recommend the mei tai. I love it for front & back carry!

I know that my babywearing days are numbered and I'm not sure that we'll have any more babies. Like you said, babywearing is part of me and I'll always be a babywearer. We can wear our grandbabies, right!?

What great timing! I was just this morning assessing the state of my two ring slings (getting ready for new baby) and thinking about whether to invest in a Mobywrap before she arrives. They just look so cozy for newborns. And being as this is baby #3, it might be the best way for her to get held enough!

Thanks for clearing up the bag/pouch question for me! I used a kangarookorner pouch sling for two years and LOVED it - the key was that it was fleece and had lots of give to it -that and I knew how to adjust it so she was in a safe position.

Just wanted to be sure that I wasn't missing something since I recommend that sling to everyone with a newborn.

I love my wraps (stretchy and woven), but I have to agree that my favorite is my mei tai (babyhawk). I must disagree with your final recs because, for me, the wrap is my all time favorite for newborn and my mei tai for once they have head support. I use my ring sling quite a bit, but it's harder to get a good secure fit on me. I tell people that if you can only afford one, get a mei tai and borrow a wrap or ring sling for the first few months.

Thanks for sharing your babywearing expertise; you've been a great help to me over the last two years and two babies!

I'm current expecting baby #4! I loved, loved, loved my Ergo for baby #3. I didn't get it until he was 7 months old but we got lots of use out of it after that time. Prior to 7 months I had a hotsling (never felt like he was secure), a Moby (I couldn't get the hang of wrapping it around) and a bag sling (which I didn't like either). I'm very tempted to get a Mei Tei for this baby although I still have my Ergo. In fact I'm tempted to get a ring sling and a Mei Tei. My husband thinks they are a waste of money since I already have the Ergo which I love. Do you think it is worth it to buy the ring sling and/or Mei Tei?

Oh my gosh Steph I was reading through the comments, my very first carrier was an Ellaroo Mei Hip and I still love it. I love babywearing and luckily Ian does too, he will bring me my Peanut Shell or try and drag the Moby to me during the day. I love my Ergo so much now that he is bigger.

While I know this isn't an issue that you (or many of these other moms) have... does anyone know how well a mei tai works for very plus-size women? I really liked my kanagroo korner pouch with my newborn daughter, but could never make it work in any positions other than the cradle-like one (I'm not up on the correct terms!). I occassionally wore my son between 10 months and 12 months in that position while he had a bottle (wish I'd gotten it when he was a newborn!). Now they are 7 months and 19 months and I'd love something that would work for both... and is simple.

I just browsed the babyhawk site and see they offer XL straps... anyone have an opinion on this? I really need to be able to wear one of them! My 18 month old LOVES to be carried and he hasn't gotten nearly his fill since the new baby. Other front/back pack carriers just don't fit the bill due to my size and the range of adjustability.

I love my ERGO! I wear my 8mo old everywhere. I've had people ask me if I own an infant seat, because they never see it!

My question for you is: Have you come across any cute patterns for a kids doll ergo/ mei tai carrier? My little neice always admires mine and wants one of her own. I was hoping to whip one up for as little as possible!

While this may have started off as a journal about actual babywearing, in slings and mei tais and such, that doesn't ever mean babywearing ends.

We were are babies in our hearts, in our minds, in life. We learn from our children so many things and while each day they may grow up a little bit more, they will always be our children, our babies, who we proudly wear on our hearts and sleeves.

Your blog, to me, has always represented these qualities to me. I've always felt so much love, pride, and joy from you as you talk about your children, through the good and the bad and the ups and downs. You've inspired me many times that parenting is an adventure and that while the present may be a struggle, tomorrow brings the hope of sunshine and love in your day.

You can definitely ask the designer to add on to the straps- I know some ring sling makers will make a longer tail so that there is more fabric, same with mei tais- you can ask for longer straps, the Ergo has waist extensions you can buy, and try a wrap, too. There's enough fabric to tie around just as much as you need! Just a thought!

I think I am going to to try it... I guess my biggest questions were mostly about the ease of use and comfort. Like someone else said... I'm just scared to take the plunge and buy! I do think it'll work nicely for us though.

One more question - as I was reading through another site it said mei tais could be used as hip carriers too. Is this ALL mei tais just tied differently or only specific "hip" types that you mentioned in this post (and I remember another post with a pic of you carrying Ivy in one!)?

Great words on babywearing. I agree with much of what you said. I love the ring sling for a newborn and beyond. Love the pouch sling for quick trips in the store (and size is super important, but now hotslings are really cheap on eBay. I have a dear friend who ordered the 2 sizes she thought she might be and then resold the one that didn't work - and even made a profit). And I use the mei tai (babyhawk) for my 10 month old the most now. As soon as I pull it out he gets a big grin on his face. I also love how he holds on super tight while I get him on my back. He loves it. I can't imagine not having a baby to wear. Might just have to borrow a friends.

I am interested to see how much I am encouraged (by her doctors) to hold Brooklyn. I know she is supposed to sit for longer periods of time to get her strong, but I'd like to try and wear her more than my other two girls. For many, many reasons.

I also wanted to say thank you for the information,; it is really helpful. Until you are comfortable with it, I think babywearing is a little intimidating. Thanks for making it more accessible! :)

I agree with everyone else that says you make babywearing a lot less intimidating! Thanks for the great posts, Steph! And now I am going to attempt to NOT comment on this post again-since I think 4 times is plenty! Haha! (PS I'm ordering a Babyhawk Mei Tai tonight!)

I heart my mei tai. I am just a mei tai girl at heart. I feel lucky to still wear my toddler to nap several days a week. It's a defense mechanism, really - if I try to put him down his big sister 'checks on him'. But I secretly love it.

Please forgive me my ignorance and educate me - is there a philosophical difference between a snugli/baby bjorn type carrier and the various wraps/mei tais you describe here? Why do I never see those type of carriers associated with babywearing?Thanks.

In my personal experience, I haven't found the Baby Bjorn to be comfortable, especially compared to the other carriers I mentioned. I am only recommending what I personally love. I'm sure there's some Snugli/ Baby Bjorn lovers out there! I do not like to wear baby facing out and prefer the design, style, colors, comfort, etc of the other carriers I mentioned! To me, they feel much more "natural" I guess, but that's just my opinion!

i am also plus sized and i made my own mei tai and pouch sling so i was able to make them as big as i needed them to be. but the most important thing to remember is to make sure that its all stitched and made very strong. http://threekidsncounting.blogspot.com/2010/02/now-im-satisfied.html

(not trying to self promote, just want to show my examples)

steph i have said this many times but you are the resone i babywear! i never did with my other 2 but this newest baby is worn all the time! we just went to the zoo for a bday party and there were so many strollers, i would of gone nuts trying to monuver my baby around the busy zoo!

I'm popping back in to say how much I love the comments from The Mommy and Melody above, mentioning wearing grandbabies. My mom was an avid babywearer 20+ years ago and she easily, quickly donned the carriers with our children. She's loved it, I've loved it, and her grandbabies (who are very close to their grandmother) have loved it. Babywearing doesn't have to end when our littlest ones grow up!

I was nannying and decided to try out babywearing. I really liked it but I found it impossible to get the baby into a back carry position! There I was bending over to keep him on my back while trying to yank his body into position by pulling on his leg...wasn't pretty.

My intro to babywearing was with a Baby Bjorn. It was *so* uncomfortable for me. Now that I know more about babywearing, I have learned that the Bjorn doesn't hold baby's legs in a good position, and can cause hip problems. I bought a Sakura Bloom linen ring sling when my fourth babe was nine months old... what a good investment. It's the sling I reach for when we're running errands, walking down the street to grandma's. My husband and I both love our podegi. It's like a mei tai, but with one long set of straps instead of two sets like the mei tai. It is very handy because you don't have to put the baby down to put the carrier on, and with four kids, I need to be able to apply the carrier very quickly.

If you're wondering what a pod looks like on, I have some listed on my etsy... http://revelbaby.etsy.com . They're a little harder to find than mei tais, because there aren't any big podegi manufacturers.

And for the Ergo? I think I'm the only person in the history of the world who doesn't like it. I want to love it, but I just don't. Must be the buckles or something!

Great post Steph! I didn't wear my son much when he was a baby mainly due to not be educated on the options available. His grandma bought a Snuggli and I didn't find it very comfortable or easy to use.

I now nanny for twin babies and have used all the carriers their mom has, a Hotslings as infant and Baby Bjorn as older babies. I really liked the Hotslings for less than 4 months old but agree fit is important.

Thanks for your tips. All I have heard is good things about the moby wrap and mei tai.

@Pamela No, you aren't alone with the Ergo. I want to love it so badly, but it just doesn't work for me. For me it has to do with chest size; I can't comfortably buckle the chest strap when in a back carry. I happily stick with my mei tai.

Steph, thanks so much for this post - like so many have said, you're the reason I first heard about babywearing, too!

I do have one question - I have a ring sling from KimzKreations, which i won when my son was 10 months old - I loved using it with him as a toddler. But now I've tried to use it several times with my daughter (who is now 4 months old), and I just can't seem to get her positioned right. I have a stretchy wrap which I use all the time with her, but the ring sling just doesn't seem to be on right. It seems like the top and bottom rail need to be tight, but the middle needs to be looser than it can be when the top and bottom are tight. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I want to love my ring sling because it's so easy to get on, but I usually end up using my Patapum instead if I'm in a hurry even though it's not quite as quick. Any tips??? :) Thanks for all the helpful answers!

Awww, what a sweet post and very timely! I realized yesterday that Ian hadn't been in the ergo for ages, he's almost 2 now and must run (unless he wants a quick cuddle on his terms). The whole growing up thing is just so bittersweet.

We love our Moby wrap and even though Big Sister is almost 21 months old she still loves it! She brings it and asks me to put her in it when she is having a rough day. Granted she prefers walking most of the time - and when I am busy I use the Ergo to put her on my back but the wrap just has a sort of nostalgic quality to it for us. I have never tried a Mei Tai though I have always wanted to. The funny thing is that the almost 14 month old prefers the stroller most of the time. They are so different.

My Ergo is my FAVORITE carrier of them all. It's easy and quick to get on and off, and it fully supports Lily, even at her whopping 35 pounds she is now at 14 months. I find I can get her to go to sleep anywhere, no matter how active or loud it is as long as she's in it and close to me. I love the hood, it truly makes all the difference. That way I can cuddle her close and keep her head from wobbling while I still play and do things with Jonah. Lily never liked a ring sling, she always was leaning forward, making it super awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. Do you have a solution for that problem? Or os just her own way of saying she's too active to be in the sling?

Now Jonah LOVED the ring sling when he was a baby, and seemed like he felt too confined by my Ellaroo.

Like you said, each kid is different, that's why it's nice to have friends who also babywear, so you can borrow and try out other people's slings/carriers, in order to find which one works best for them.

Oh how I wish I would have found your blog years ago. I always wanted to wear my babies, but I'm very clumsy and I was always scared to. Now I feel like I missed out on so much lovin'!!! Hope y'all have a great weekend and I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!!!

The Mei Tai is also my absolute fave! I won one from Stephanie on MetropolitanMama.net about a year ago. I did put my daughter in it when she was a newborn. But I tucked her feet in using the froggy position.

I'm so glad that you listed it as your favorite. Everyone always talks about the Ergo, which I'm sure is fabulous, but I'm glad I don't have to spend the money if I don't need to.

This post makes me so excited to wear my little guy! I am 36 weeks pregnant with our fourth, and I have worn each baby more than the previous one. This time I couldn't bear to pay the price of a Moby, a new ring sling and a mei tai, so I made my own! I can't wait to try them out with our baby boy!

I am in desperate need of your help! I have the Moby and LOVE it. I have the Hot Sling and liked it for when DS was smaller. I've tried on a bunch, and I like the BabyHawk. Should I go for the traditional mei tai or the oh snap? I'm really at the point of just wanting someone to tell me what to do.

Thanks so much for this post! I am about 51/2 months pregnant, and have been trying to decide and figure out which slings to buy. Your post made a lot of sense to me, and I will probably take your reccomendations!

I'm "fluffily" plus sized, and I have a Jellybean pouch sling. I completely love it. I've just transitioned my 6 month old to the hip hold with it, and have found that it is so much more comfortable having her right under my arm rather than between my boobies :)

WONDERFUL post and info. I wish I got started on babywearing sooner...or I need another baby to wear. I have become a bit of a hoarder of babywearing devices. I don't want to give them up yet! I'm still using some...but not all that I have.

I recently started nannying a 2 yr old who was adopted from Russia. He has some developmental issues, he tends to get over stimulated very easily, and he tends to be very hyperactive. In short- he can be be a difficult & exhausting child to take care of.

Last time I took care of him, we were "dancing" to music while I held him to get out some of our hyper-wiggles. My arms were just about to fall off, so I tied my scarf ring-sling style under him and around my torso for some extra support.

Suddenly he went from wild-child to a mellow sleepy toddler... and within 5 minutes he was asleep in my makeshift sling (with the music still playing).

I started to put him into his bed so that he could nap but he woke up enough to demand being put back in the sling.

I shifted him so that I could carry him on my back, and was able to clean up the kitchen, pick up toys, etc., while he slept on! It was such a miraculous transformation, especially considering he *never* takes naps!

Any way. It was a wonderful experience in baby-wearing for me, a non-mother, full of calmness and bonding.

Would never have thought of the sling-move if I hadn't read your blog.

@Angeliecka - I know that you said that you had purchased a BabyHawk and I hope you really like it!

I, too, am a VERY plus-sized mommy (26 US, about). I have been very happy with the following:

Moby when the kiddos are newborns.German style woven wraps when they get bigger.I did use a BabyHawk and it was fine, but I got tired of the straps folding into themselves wrapped around my waist. You will see what I mean.I am able to use the Ergo well with the waist extension. That is my go-to carrier now that the baby is 15 months old. In fact, I have one for the home and one for the car and have gotten rid of all of the other wraps and carriers.

Thanks for the info! I had considered an Ergo, but I recently tried a Kelty Kids Wallaby and HATED the restricted feeling and it seems to be somewhat similar to the Ergo with all the buckles and such. I'll have to post once i get my BabyHawk, but I'm a big fan of the comfier aspect of the straps/ties... though we'll see, of course! I hope I like it though... it's a big (not returnable!) investment!!!

@anonymous

It's never too late to start babywearing! My little girl is just 7 months old now and while I used to carry her as a newborn in a Kangaroo Korner pouch, NOW is the time where I feel like I really need it and that she'll like it better. She wasn't a snuggly newborn like her big brother and still often prefers to be in her crib to sleep, but she's getting into the stage where I can't leave her sight without her fussing and I think it's a great time to babywear MORE!

My best suggestion for the ring sling is to be sure the rings are high, and put baby in tummy to tummy position. And then keep adjusting until it feels snug enough. Check out the Sakura Bloom videos that I linked to (or you can find it directly on their site.) Hope that helps!

Just found your blog. I love babywearing. My favorite is the Moby because I feel like it distributes the weight most evenly. I have a bjorn but the pressure from the straps on my shoulders starts to hurt after just a few minutes. I haven't quite gotten the hang of my ring sling yet, although your endorsement of ring slings has motivated me to try again, maybe in a different position. Thanks!

Hi Steph, I've been a reader for quite some time and I am curious - would you recommend a "custom made" Mei Tai? There are quite a few of them out on eBay that I am considering purchasing. Or, is there a "brand" called "mei tai"? I don't want to buy something schwappy, and $30 on eBay doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Do you think the eBay'ers that are custom sewing them are still ok? Thanks so much!Cate

Steph, Hi, I'm dropping in to see if you have some advice for me. My hubby agreed to get me my first ring sling this christmas. I'm going to wear it nannying and then use it once we have children. I think I want to start with a Sakura Bloom ring sling, but I can't decide on the fabric (linen vs. silk). I'm willing to spend the extra money since I know it's a quality product and I need it to last a long time. We live in Florida so it's pretty warm most of the time. I know I want a sling with a double layer of fabric thought so the cheapest linen one is out. My first instinct is to spring for the silk because it seems more durable and like it works better with the whole idea of the sling, but I don't want the babes sweating to death either. Do you have any advice for me? Thanks for your time!

So glad to have discovered your blog! I recently started babywearing, I heard it was good for infants with reflux (I have an 8-week old boy napping in the Sleepy Wrap as we speak). I just bought a Freehand Mei Tai and am excited to use it (I still struggle with the Sleepy Wrap.) Honestly, I'm still not brave enough to leave the house while babywearing (afraid he will fall out!) but I'm trying to build up the confidence. Look forward to following your blog...

I'm hoping you may help me decide on whether to get an Ergo or not. I have a 3 year old who weighs about 40 pounds. We're city based (London) and depend mostly on scooters for short outings and a stroller if we're out during nap time. However we're headed to Rome for a short holiday and several of the museums don't allow strollers. My daughter is very stubborn about walking for long amounts of time, and as I said, still naps 2 hrs a day. I haven't worn her since she was little and don't know if she'd take to it easily. Is it worth it getting an Ergo and have me or my husband wear her? I have a ring sling but even at 9 months wearing her in it hurt my back quite a bit.

Jillian, I do think it would be worth the investment. You can always sell it when you're done or save for another child unless you know someone you can borrow from? I think you might be surprised by her being worn again- I know mine always took to it and enjoyed it even at 3. Especially since it would be such a big help for you. Hope it goes well! I think the Ergo is the best carrier for that age and activity.

My little gal, born at home on September 27th, is almost 3 months old. I sew, so I am currently using a ring sling I made for my sister out of a batik fabric. I don't feel it is strong enough, and honestly, I think she'd prefer to be carried facing out. What should I get? Not too worried about price, as I just want to invest in something quality to use as she grows, and maybe with the next one. Your help is greatly appreciated. This has been a really frustrating journey for me as I would LOVE to sew my own ring sling, but don't know what fabric to get, and now feel like I just need to get a good carrier. Thanks.

Thank you for your post on this. I'm starting to look at baby gear for my pregnant friend Julia and baby wearing is obviously a very big topic we want to look at with serious consideration. I had no idea there were so many options as well. I also think it's hard for a first time mom who's overwhelmed to realize that things like the Moby are not as difficult as they look. My friend Julia felt that way so we're looking at a ring sling for her. Thanks for your post!