A female perspective on the Autistic Spectrum, Mental Illness and everything else….

Early start and a busy day! Also, ‘Bible Bashers’ make me uncomfortable.

I woke up at 7 am this morning. I don’t think I actually slept until about 3 am. I was watching a Nightwish concert on youtube. I didn’t want to wake up that early after having so little sleep. I had set my alarm for 8 am. I was at the Gym by 9 am. I stayed there for about two hours. I came back home to make a few phone calls (you never know how convenient a mobile is until something happens which leaves you without it). I’m hopefully going to have my new mobile tomorrow. That will work out fine because I have to stay in for important phone calls tomorrow. I have to talk to the GP about evidence for my PIP claim and certain things about my medication which is becoming problematic.

I went over to the city to pick up my level 1 Maths certificate from the college this afternoon. I had my eyebrows threaded while I was over there because they were getting quite untidy. I’m glad to be back home because the tiredness has now caught up with me. There is always someone preaching about ‘God’ near the clock tower. I find it extremely uncomfortable because I don’t believe in ‘God’. I’m Pagan. That’s not even the reason why it really makes me cringe. Those of us that have had so much happen to them in their lives find it very hard to believe in any ‘God’. The words that these people are saying are offensive to those like myself because it’s like saying we are ‘sinners’ so what they refer to as ‘God’ forgets about us. I’ve found some Christians to be the most small minded ignorant people I have ever had the misfortune to meet.

I can’t stand that give yourself to the Lord rubbish to be born again and forgiven of all your sins. I don’t mean this to sound like blasphemy but my Grandparents went to church etc. and I was christened under the United reformed branch of Christians. It doesn’t mean you’ll have a lucky life because my Nana had to spend seven years on her own after being with my Grandad for most of her life. The son they had (my Father) had a progressive illness which led to him passing away at middle age. Then they give you that line about those that have spent their karma here on earth being wanted to be one of God’s angels. I don’t know how you can say that when it comes to young children that have Cancer and spend months or sometimes years in horrendous pain before they eventually pass away. I was in floods of tears when I was watching one of the children’s stories on ‘Stand up to Cancer’. It’s not helpful that I can feel things. She was in so much pain, no hair and spent a lot of her life in hospital. I don’t know how religious groups can dismiss this as some kind of ‘God’s plan’. I do believe there is something because I can feel things etc. but I refuse to believe in any of that ‘God’s plan’ crap. Yes, everything may happen for a reason, but it’s more likely karma related. As a Pagan, I believe in karma and past life links. That is only because I feel things. I have only ever believed in things that I see with my own eyes, or in my case feel.