What To Do About TODAY‚ÄôS TOP 10 FACEBOOK STATUSES 10/26/09

Todays best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “7 mile run through a farm village in Italy this morning. Life is good. ” – (Sounds great minus the 7 mile run and morning parts.)
2.) “Dear Bears, Do you have any other players you want to cut or trade, please call Mike Brown directly. We LOVE pro-bowl running backs but could use a tight end. Your BFF’s, Cincy” – (This was my status earlier in the day, my name is Nathan Mallon.)
3.) “never smart to put a pic of Miss Piggy on your wifes facebook page…even when she has swine flu”
4.) “is gonna raise the bridge, file down the nut, and take the buzz out the low E…” – (Sounds painful!)
5.) “Our greatest fear as individuals should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter…….”
6.) “It’s my beautiful wife @laurencapozzi’s birthday today. I still can’t believe she’s almost 40!” – (The last 10 years have really flown by.)
7.) “wide awake….i guess that’s good. :-)” – (I’m kind of narrow awake.)
8.) “Sitting in the sun. Hmmm, lovely.” – (You’re still alive?)
9.) “is Edward Band-aid Hands… So says her husband.” – (That’s why you guys are always holding hands.)
10.) “I’m in Ohio. Yay me! And there’s something comforting in it being as boring and retarded as ever. Annoying…but comforting.”

It just isn’t right! It is so confusing! Trying to differentiate between different spatulas can be quite the challenge. “Hand me a spatula, no, not that one, the scrapey one.” “Scrapey one?” “Yeah, the one that you use to scrape the sides of the bowl.” “Oh you mean the silicone one.” “What is silicone?” Why?…

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