a) the shortening of the days and the cooling of the temperature adversely affects photosynthesis

b) you’re so tired of watering and fertilizing stuff that doesn’t bloom/grow/bear fruit, or is just going to be eaten by apparently ravenous, and quite inconsiderate, deer, you can’t be bothered

2. President Obama, while continuing to say the right things while not apparently doing much of anything, has aged 15 years in 3 because:

a) the job of the presidency sucks and no one in their right minds would do it

b) Just for Men hasn’t perfected the formula for African-American hair

3. Only Daughter asking if the car was unlocked means:

a) she needed to go look for a book she left in the back seat

b) she thought it would be interesting/fun to leave the front door open over night to see how long the battery would last

4. CNN runs a ticker beneath the President’s speech telling us what he just said because:

a) the average American likes to have things summarized into neat little sound bytes so he/she doesn’t have to think too hard

b) the average American is a stark raving idiot lunatic who needs to be told what to think so as not to pull any muscles or to have to take time away from important pursuits like wondering whether Jennifer Aniston’s actually married or not and keeping up with the Kardashians

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5. I’m really good at stacking dishes in the dish drainer because:

a) it’s like a really interesting, perpetually different, 3D geometry puzzle which challenges my/your ability to make logical connections and to understand spatial relationships in the real world