hñ
>> [shoutingHÑ
>> A lot of guys have diedhñn
barroom floors, but sonny hugheshñ
hñ
hñhñhñ
it was a typical night out forhñ
this bunch of bikers and their
hñ
sonnhñhad a reputation for being
hñ
so when his homies startedhñ
..hñ
"hey, sonny!

00:05:06

hñ
do the trick, brother!

00:05:07

"hñ
>> [cheers]
>> Even though it was dangerous,hñ
hñ
hñhñ
>> certain peoplhñare more apt
to be risk takers, to behñ
aggressive, to be less hemmed inhñ
by possible negativehñ
consequences.

00:05:22

hñ
yeah!

00:05:24

>> Sonny's trick was a rhñl
crowd-pleaser.

00:05:26

He'd take a poolhñall, jam it inhñ
his big mouth, and swallow ithñ
halfway down his throat.

This allows it to be fed down ahñ
return shoot after a scratch tohñ
continue play.

00:06:38

Whenhñonny fed the larger cuehñ
ball down his shoot, it stayedhñ
hñ
he had performed this trick 100hñ
hñ
>> spit it out!

00:06:50

>> He died withouthñver finding
out why this time it didn'thñ
hñ
>> sonny, get up!

00:06:56

hñhñhñhñhñhñhñ
[wolf howls]HÑ
>> There's nothing like a full
hñhñhñhñ
hñ
when arnold freahñ, he peeps
hñ
hñ
>> something about looking in onhñ
a girl while you're masturbatinghñ
that is better than a sexualhñ
hñ
I don't know whñ.

00:07:34

It seehñ like the climax will be
faster.

00:07:36

>> Arnold couldn't believe his
hñ
he had never seen anyone makehñ
hñ
hñ
>> best way to enjoy that, you'dhñ
have to be able to be
masturbahñng for me.

00:07:50

hñ
>> you'd want to behñ
masturbating, but you don't wanthñ
to be caught.

00:07:56

You don't want some neighbor
yelling "hey, what are you
hñ
hñ
you know you want to get a good
shot of that and try not to makehñhñ
any noise so she doesn't hear
hñhñhñhñhñ >> during the dahñ arnold
was anhñ
hñ
he would never have the guts tohñ go up to
hñ
hñ >> but tonight, hewasthehñ
popsicle.

00:08:26

>> [sensual moaning]HÑHÑHÑHÑ
hñ
>> arnold was so aroused, hehñ
broke the number one rule for ahñ
stay outside thehñ
hñ
hñhñ
hñ
hñ
hñ
hñ
>> and it alcame crashing
..hñ
right on arnold's pencil-thinhñ
hñ
in the heat of the moment, his
elbow jerked back, knocking outhñ a stake
hñ
the window came down and severedhñ
his spinal cord between discshñ
hñ
[crunch]HÑHÑ
This ihñwhere nerves go out tohñ
control basic body functionshñ
such as breathing and blood
hñhñ
when this connection was broken,
hñhñhñ
arnold finally learned his
hñ
hñ
hñ
..hñ
hñ
>> your neck.

00:09:39

[cruHÑh]HÑHÑHÑHÑ
Up next, a pilot's life comeshñ
crashing down when his chopperhñhñ
>> oh, my god, my god!

hñhñhñhñhñhñ
>> ahñelicopter is basically a
hñ
if any one of the componentshñ
fail, it plunges to the ground,hñ
hñhñ
that's what happened to
helicopter pilot ben moore whilehñhñhñhñ
lifting a 7,000-pound airhñ
hñ
ben, in front of his friends ahñ
coworkers, then plungedhñ
hñ
hñ
oh, my god!

00:13:26

Oh, my god!

00:13:28

hñ
>> I had a feeling--hñ
a feeling--
hñ
hñ
>> [sobbing]HÑHÑ
>> But fate had a different planhñ
for ben moore.

00:13:44

Against all odds, he lived to
tell the taihñof the crash that
hñ
>> well our mission that day washñ
that I was going to change ohñ a
hñ
and just as I began to get abouthñ
even with the building, uh,hñ
hñ
[clank]
hñhñ
>> the drive shaft to the tail
rotor snaps, and bhñ'shñ
helicopter begins to spin out of
hñ
he immediatelyhñettisons thehñhñhñ
heavy load.

00:14:15

>> I tried to maneuver over tohñ
our prearranged emergencyhñ
hñ
>> the only way to land a
helicopter with a hñoken tail
rotor is to shut down the enginehñ
to stop it from spinning out ofhñ
control.

00:14:28

It's chñled a hovering
hñ
>> basically, take the engineshñ
out, and then use whateverhñ
inertia is left in those bladeshñ
hñ
>> the pilot only gets onehñ
chance.

00:14:41

Just before impact, he must yankhñ
his controls to produce hñximum
hñ
>> I probably hñarted the
hñ
so at about 40 feet, I ran ohñhñ of rpm and
all those optionshñ
that I wanted to do.

00:14:58

And at that point I said tohñ
"hñ
hñ
hñ
oh, my god!

00:15:06

Ohhñmy god!

00:15:07

>> When I hit, the helmet I'mhñ
wearing, goggles and everything,hñhñ
hñhñ
had a rehñly nasty cut on my
hñ
I actually flayed it open.

00:15:18

>> Ben's helichñter plunged
facehñirst.

00:15:21

Nobody who witnessed thehñ
incident believed that anyonehñ
would survive this kind of
hñ
>> for whatever reason, the lordhñ
hñ
it certainly wasn't up to me at
hñ
>> ben moore is living proofhñ
..hñ
hñ
hñhñhñ
[aggressive rock music]
♪ ♪Hñhñhñhñ
Captioning byCaptionMax
www.captionmaxHÑomHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑHÑ
hñhñ
>> are you horny for this right
here?

00:16:23

hñ
that's why you're watching the
next epihñde of1,000 ways to
hñ
..

00:16:30

>> Wathñ this.

00:16:31

..Who winds up taking the
hñhñ
the texan whose hot wife giveshñ
him the hives.

>> Life's good on1,000 ways tohñ
hñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñ
hñ
most of us try to avoihñit,
hñhñ
every day, we fight a new war
against germs, toxinhñ injury,hñhñ
hñ
there's a lot of ways to wind hñ
hñ
the fact that we survive at all
is a mirhñle.

00:17:44

..hñ
hñhñhñhñhñhñhñ
hñ
>> ian campbell was veryhñ
impressed with his law firm's
hñ
but the thing ian was most
hñ
>> did you knohñi have ahñ
hñ
>> one of his favorite pastimes
wahñhitting on the firm's new
hñ
..good places to eat.hñ
>> you would think a smart
hñ
but ian was a sexual harassmenthñ
hñhñ
>> partners at law firms have ahñ
lot of power and influence overhñ
the careers of brand newhñ
hñ you really need this job, and
you're really at thñs guy's
hñ
hñ
>> ian had a prank he liked tohñ
hñ
IN A CONFERENCE ROOM ON THE 40thHÑ
Floor, he'd get a running starthñ
and throw himself totohe
hñ
thteteerer g gssssouou a aayayhñ
boceceimimacachñ
>> tpeped d asasisisusus
unededtatae.e.

Or maybe it was thhñway his
..hñ
because n took a runninghñ
hñ
anneveveststped.d.

00:19:28

>> Oh, my gohñhñ
>> once you discover that their
imminent death is there, they,hñ
uh, most likely would've pissedhñ
hñ
he probably died
instantaneously from the skullhñ
shattering on the ground and hishñ
brain herniating out into the
street.

00:19:46

His spine probably shatteredhñ
along with the skull, andhñ
severed his spinal cord, killing
hñhñhñhñhñhñhñ
>> clearing brush in 110-degree
hñ
hñ
>> it's a dirty job, but
someone'hñgot to do it.

00:20:12

Tiny ahñ dale just wish ithñhñhñ
hñhñhñhñhñ
the lehñ than dynamic duo get
the last of the branches thñthe
hñ
hñ
chipping.

hñ
[laughing]HÑ
hñhñ
>> the thing we get when we go
hñ
so they're actually going under
anesthesia, slhñly getting
anesthetized, shutting downhñ
hñ
at the same time, they're
asphyxiating, and it's gonnahñ
slowly produce a disorderedhñ
neurotransmission in the brain,hñ
and shut higher order centers inhñ
hñ
>> at first it'shñll fun and
hñ
but after a while, their
lightheaded heliumhñuzz becomes
something elsehñ
>> [coughing]HÑ
hñhñ
hñ
hñ
I think, uh--
[coughs]HÑ
We should probably get some air
hñ
>> these two college kidshñ
should'vhñhit the books a lihñlehñ
hñ
a helium-only environment mighthñ
hñ
hñ
>> both: [mumbled yelling]HÑHÑ
>> Jason and sarah spend theirhñ
last moments disoriented, unablehñ
hñ
>> keep lookhñg!

00:27:33

[coughs]HÑ
>> Finally succumbing to the
hñhñ
once they locked themselves
inside their funhouse, it wahñ
only a matter of time befohñ
hñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñhñ
like most guys from texahñ j.t.

00:28:08

Wohñd rather be out drinking
with his buddies than doing yardhñ
work.

00:28:12

But he was nhñmatch for hishñ
hñ
>> oh, I gotta go.

00:28:17

Oh, trixie, ma'am--hñ
just taking a little water break
hñhñhñhñ
>> do you like what you had lasthñ
night?

>> Thehñ are a few hundred
hñ
you have to understand that
insects hñ an important job in
nahñre, whether they're harmful
to us because we make thehñ
mistake of disturbing their nesthñ
or being in a place that theyhñ