Most of the focus on the “home run sculpture” in left-center field at the Marlins’ new ballpark has been on the garish look, but multiple players have expressed concern that it could also make things difficult on left-handed hitters trying to, you know, see the baseball.

If it is an issue, it can no longer be there. I won’t be the only left-handed hitter saying something. If other teams have a problem with it, they’re definitely going to voice their concern to the league.

It’s kind of my job to scope those things out. It might be close. It might be all right. I don’t know. We’ll see. I think for left-handed batters it might be trouble.

Marlins president David Samson predictably said it’s “not an issue whatsoever.” Tomorrow night is the first exhibition game at Marlins Park, so if the hitters have trouble picking up the ball against University of Miami pitchers you can expect it to become “an issue.”

What in holy hell is that and how have I not known about it? That has to be one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Please show me the person who thought of this brilliant gem to be placed inside of a baseball stadium.

If you aren’t aware… it also moves when someone hits a homerun… You should really take the time to Google it, and get the whole effect. I would be embarrassed to be a Marlin fan with that thing in my park.

It really is awful. There is nothing good about it. Who ever gave the OK for this to be installed in a brand new state of the art stadium should lose their job. On second thought, no they should have to take this thing home and have it installed in their backyard.

wethog66 - Mar 5, 2012 at 8:31 PM

Holy crap. Are the guys from Monty Python part owners of the Marlins now? That thing is so cheesy its sad. Only the Marlins could take a positive development like a brand new ballpark and turn it into an abomination.

wethog66 - Mar 5, 2012 at 8:33 PM

Oh wait, they have fish tank backstops too. Whats next? The first 20,000 fans get an official Marlins hawaiian shirt? Crazy

marshmallowsnake - Mar 5, 2012 at 12:28 PM

I hope it is included in MLB 12 the Show…it might induce seizures though.

Its included in there. They showed a video of it with it in there… I am curious with the show how the franchise works in between the Vita and the PS3. I want that to be as smooth as possible. So I can get seizures anywhere except home lol.

marshmallowsnake - Mar 5, 2012 at 12:59 PM

Have you seen the new franchise mode that they have? You can create an expansion team. It looks pretty cool as you can design the uniform and everything. I am going to make the Dark Sides of the Moon team with the prism logo. I missed if you could create a park though.

With this and the fish tanks behind home plate, this has to be the tackiest ballpark ever built. And to think the Marlins lied to the city residents to get this thing built in the first place. What a mess.

I hate them both. I hate their new uniforms too. Oh, and I hate that they hired that a-hole Ozzie Guillen. But I mostly hate that they pretended to be a poor struggling franchise to get this thing built and then they go all out in free agency this year and try to sign everybody.

You shudder on purely aesthetic grounds. But when that thing gets set off, you’re going to see lots and lots of Feesh fans suddenly being thrown into what seem to be conniptions and seizures. Don’t worry. It’s just the loa, mistaking that thing as a summons to come ride their horses.

They’ll look much like a bucket of fresh Herring flopping around in there huh?

24missed - Mar 5, 2012 at 4:45 PM

Awww,

C’mon guys. Old Gator and Jonny 5, I have lots of respect for some of what you write. That’s PC, correct?

You both are above seizure jokes, says a multiple concussion know-it-all. Surely, you mean no harm, and I know your names are not Shirley.

Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 4:56 PM

24: not that kind of seizure, as you correctly adduced. It’s a Voodoo / Santeria joke, not a brain injury joke. Incidentally, the name of the Vodoun loa in charge of feesh is Ogoun. That would be a nice pet name for that hideous thing, wouldn’t it?

Show of hands?

Carried.

Ogoun it is, from now on.

Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 2:35 PM

” And to think the Marlins lied to the city residents to get this thing built in the first place.”

Remember the 1st inning of any game Pascual Perez pitched in, and how long it would take before he took off each necklace so that the hitters will stop complaining about the glare of the bling shining in their eyes?

This “thing”, however, is not only an eyesore but will be a distraction for lefties. For the amount of planning that goes into these construction projects, there are quite a few people that should lose their job over this, including those in the Marlins organization who approved it’s placement.

Now hear this. This project was, from day one, Scrooge McLoria the art dealer’s idea. He thought it up. He commissioned it. I have some great stuff for you all, yes even for you trolls out there (you know who you are, or if you don’t, someone will point you out to yourselves again so you won’t overtax your underdeveloped cortical tracts trying to know who you are on a long-term basis), about Scrooge McLoria the art dealer and social critic, and the origins of his money bin coming soon to a blog near you. I just don’t want to give it all away until I’ve finished researching. It’s just too good.

Trust me. This cockamamie “sculpture” is both the least of it and a perfect icon for it all.

I think it’s kind of cool, in a semi-tropical ’60’s pschedelic cartoonish sort of way. If I wasn’t such a purist, I’d probably like it at the park. But I imagine it is going to drive the hitters crazy.

If they contract to pull it out, can the workers swing their pickups by and tear out that idiotic flagpole in the middle of center field in Houston? That’s just a major injury waiting to happen.

I suggested bull sharks (Carcharhinus leucas) the other day, since they can live in salt or fresh water – Lake Nicaragua is full of them. That way, when Scrooge McLoria is too cheap the change the filters and monitor the salinity of the tanks and the rest of his hapless pets have long since been served to Mr. Creosote, he can keep the bull sharks. They’re like snapping turtles; they could probably live in a vat of acid.

If Pedro played in Macondo he’d have plenty of cheap chickens and goats to sacrifice. He’d just need to take a half hour drive out west of Krome Avenue near Chekika, find any one of a number of Santera or Macumba breeders, throw them in the trunk of his Aston Martin and bring them home to his back yard, whack them in his cockfighting pit with his authentic Jivaro machete, and Jobu would be fat and happy.

That ok. Here in Cleveland @ Progressive Field we have a full size SUV (rockin’ the Progressive Insurance signage) in the outfield that blows a horn that sounds like a fog horn, smokes, the lights flash, and it shoots t shirts out of the doors when an Indians player hits a home run.
It is the stupidest thing I have ever seen at any sporting venue anywhere and. I’m 50+ years old.
You have to see it to believe it.
It was really great the first year when they were working the bugs out and it would smoke and make strange noises for no apparent reason…. it made Progressive Insurance look like idiots because what insurance company doesn’t want to be associated with a car that looks like it’s burning in center field of a major league ballpark?
Beyond tacky.
I’ll take your ugly whatever it is ANY day of the week.

Just put a hitters blind up in front of it to match the dimensions of the sculpture loosely. Drop the blind to celebrate what i hope is a record low home run total for the marlins. That sculpture is hideous.