CUBS PLUS.

Not in his vocabulary

Profane outburst unusual for Tavarez, say friends, teammates

MILWAUKEE — Julian Tavarez knew he had slipped up in his postgame comments, but he had no idea how serious his mistake was.

So when he saw his girlfriend, Amanda Siebert, after the April 28 game in San Francisco, he didn't tell her what had happened.

He didn't mention that he had insulted Giants fans by unleashing a two-syllable term used to slur homosexuals.

Siebert learned of the comments later that night when she and Tavarez were at a friend's house for dinner. She jumped on the Internet out of curiosity and came across a story containing a "bleep" attributed to Tavarez.

Siebert was stunned. When she asked Tavarez if he had used the derogatory two-syllable slur, he first said no. Then he looked in Siebert's eyes and admitted he had.

"He honestly didn't know it would be a big thing," she recalled. "He doesn't always know what's politically correct. But when I associated it with the n-word, he realized."

Tavarez knew he was wrong, even though Giants fans had been hollering the same insult at him throughout the game at Pacific Bell Park. He had become the object of their scorn because of a brawl with Giants third baseman Russ Davis during spring training.

"They were yelling that at Julian all day long," Siebert said. "I'm sure he had that in his mind when he went into the interview. [The word] was an insult to him."

But it became so much more. Tavarez avoided a suspension by agreeing to pay a five-figure fine and undergo sensitivity training.

That was good news for the Cubs, considering Tavarez is 3-1 and ranks second in the National League with a 1.49 earned-run average. His next start is Thursday at Milwaukee.

But the incident left Tavarez with an ugly stain that teammates and loved ones say he does not deserve.

The Tavarez they know is an easygoing 27-year-old who laughs easily, dances in the clubhouse to Latin music and is incapable of turning down a child's autograph request.

The Tavarez they know buys and distributes dozens of tickets to kids so they can attend his winter ball games in the Dominican Republic.

The Tavarez they know never complained about having been raised on dirt floors in a three-room house with a sewage-filled river running in the back.

The Tavarez they know bought his parents an $800,000 home in their native Santiago that has nine bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, a swimming pool and a seven-car garage.

The Tavarez they know bought a house in the Dominican and a car for each of his four brothers, one sister and two cousins. He also gave them $65,000 each after signing his two-year, $5 million deal with the Cubs in November.

The Tavarez they know has a 6th-grade education but became literate in both his native Spanish and English. ("He picked up English and unfortunately he's not afraid to talk," Siebert said in a lighter moment.)

The Tavarez they know overcame physical limitations--he weighed 135 pounds when Cleveland signed him in 1990 for a paltry $1,200--to emerge as a World Series star with five scoreless outings for the Indians in 1995.

The Tavarez they know was not afraid to show his emotions, openly weeping in the dugout after the Indians lost the World Series.

The Tavarez they know helped Cleveland reporters by translating their questions to Spanish so they could interview reclusive slugger Manny Ramirez.

The Tavarez they know now lives in a high rise near Lake Shore Drive and gladly walks through a predominantly gay neighborhood on his way to Wrigley Field, smiling and waving at strangers. ("I like everybody," he said.)

The Tavarez they know relishes learning about American culture, whether it be listening to new music or driving in the snow.

The Tavarez they know should not be compared to John Rocker, who didn't seem even mildly contrite after insulting millions of New Yorkers.

Tavarez, though, was trembling when he publicly apologized to the Cubs and the city of San Francisco the morning after his remarks.

"A lot of people thought he just apologized to get it over with," Siebert said. "But Julian hates to apologize. You can't get him to say he's sorry unless he means it."

Tavarez also apologized to his teammates. He said it wasn't difficult.

"I knew I was wrong," he said. "I knew I embarrassed the team. I was prepared for the next day. I couldn't wait to apologize."

And he can't wait to prove that he never will embarrass his loved ones again. Tavarez said he's working with pitching coach Oscar Acosta to control his emotions better.

"I was an angry kid," he said. "I let every little thing get to my head. I have a temper and I used to break things in the clubhouse. But I'm doing better with my emotions and that's something I need to work on.

"I have to come down, take a deep breath and walk away. I'm becoming more relaxed and that's going to help me in the game."