Stuart Broad‘s out, because he’s ‘made it’. Matt Prior‘s out, because he too made it, before comprehensively dismantling ‘it’ with his buttery fingers.

Tom Smith‘s out, because we’ve done away with all young Lancastrians on the grounds that they never get to play, no matter how good they are and even if they do, they do nothing, which lets us down doubly, being as we’re a Lancashire supporter.

Bilal Shafayat‘s out, because the pressure of being One To Watch clearly gets to him and he forgets how to bat.

James Benning‘s out because he was crap last year. Usually you get a second season to prove yourself, but we’ve picked out too many players, so James misses the cut. We’re sure he’ll be gutted.

If I were a cruder person, I would make a joke about knowing a way to spend a few of those minutes, but being left with nothing to do for the remaining 40. But I’m very refined, so am conspicuously not going to make that joke.