Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I know my friend Bellatrix's mom will say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. And maybe it is... if you're Bellatrix's mom. But if you're me, the happiest place on earth is full of food. And not just dog food - I mean every food.

Yup. Our superspecial Daily-Puglet-turns-two celebration/adventure-in-a-bag was a trip to a a HUMAN FOOD store. AKA supermarket.

If you don't like food, you might as well go on vacation and come back in a few days. Seriously. But before I tell you all about the ridiculous stuff I saw, my human says I have to say this:

It is not cool to take your dog into a supermarket.

There. I said it. And I don't want to ruin the moment or anything by saying that my human is full of... SPAM... but, for the record, I was not the only dog in the supermarket that day. There were others. And they weren't stuck in bags. But I'll get to that later.

Anyway...

The first stop on our trip: meat.

I had no freaking idea how much humans like meat! This place was full of it. Whole entire giant walls. Full. Of. Meat. Glass boxes. Full. Of. Meat (I think it was special meat). Rows and rows of meat, meat, meat. Chicken meat and cow meat and pig meat and freaking buffalo meat.

Buffalo?

Yeah. Buffalo.

I didn't think it could get any better than hotdogs, bacon, or SPAM. But after seeing and smelling the meats of the world, I can tell you this: it gets better. Waaaay better.

More from the Happiest Place tomorrow...

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TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY!!It's Ellie's (of the in/famous San Antonio Pugs) birthday!!Let's all eat some cookies (OR meat!) to celebrate :)

Three cheers for Puglet's adventure! I know your human set out all those rules for you, but how did you ever manage to contain yourself in front of that wonderful, yummy wall of meat? That's the kind of thing happy Pug dreams are made of!Licks,Sabrina

Oh, Puglet, you always make me laugh! Of course, as a vegetarian, I'm a little grossed out by the meat talk but the idea of you visiting a grocery store IN a shopping bag is hilarious! Can't wait for the "rest of the story"

OMD Puglet! That is such an adventure evolving! I have been in Target but my Mommy #2 gets all weirded out if Mommy rolls me into the food section (I am confined to the cart). We always get a lot of oooohs and aaaaahs when I go in a store. So far no one has kicked me out.Love Noodles.PPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHappy Birthday Ellieand a shout out to my HUMAN AUNTIE N, Happy B'Day.

Wow! What a great adventure Puglet. I wish I could go into a supermarket, but they don't let us in the markets around here unless we have some special certificate or something saying we are a service dog. Hmmm, wonder where I can get one of those? It would be worth it to see all the meat. Hey Ellie - Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Ellie, Happy birthday to you!

Totally awesome! If Mom could find a bag big enough for me, she wouldn't be able to lift it so guess I won't be able to recreate your experience, sigh. Mr. Bear is a retired therapy and R.E.A.D. dog and he went all KINDS of places with Mom: schools, libraries, hospitals, playhouses, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, community centers. He was Mr. Popular Pup star and had his own fan club and everything, and bookmarks printed with his picture and name on them. His fans shopped for him and bought him treats for when he came to see them. But now he has arthritis because he's a big dude and 10 years old, so he can't visit any more. But even BEAR never got to go into the supermarket and sniff the meats. It was against the rules, Mom said. Gotta go tell Mr. Bear about the meat store.....

JEALOUS!!! How wonderful!!. Lucy, same here in sunny Minnesota (snow on Fri/Sat tho). We won't get to go that many places. We service humans, make them smile. Why do we need a paper for it? Grrr.HBD2U, Ellie ~ eating pigs ear wanna be, AKA sweet potato jerky, sigh

I actually did an experiment a while back to see who would kick Lucy out, the supermarket was not one! I think it was a deli and something random - oh, Starbucks. Both are now boycotted and feeling the pain of our wrath.

This is the best canine investigative journalism ever!In the first picture, you look like you're in some sort of meat trance; the siren call of all those steaks! I don't know how you resisted jumping out of the bag and rolling around in that open display. You seem kind of stunned, like it's just sinking in that you're not in the House of Carrots anymore. What's next? Seafood? Junk food? Stuff I can't even imagine? Oh, the suspense!Happy Birthday Ellie! I volunteered to eat a steak today, in your honor.

(Slurp) (slobber) (nom nom) OH WOAH!! I just ate my computer screen! How did you not jump out of that bag and into the pillows of meat? You are surrounded by clouds of beef, chicken, and turkey (OH MY!) My mom totally has it wrong, the meat isle is the happiest place on earth!!I'm one jealous pug...do you think I could orb my way into the meat isle too??

I've been to many restaurants (patios), in Macy's, and tons of other shops when mom and dad take me to Chicago for PDE check-ups, BUT Puglet, you have definitely won the prize! That is most certainly the happiest place! We are all so jealous. You must tell us how this was possible...pretty please with bacon on top! If we know how you did it, maybe we can ask our local store to do the same thing. And Noodles, how were you able to visit Target? Did your mom just go for it? That is one of my mom's favorite stores, so I've always wanted to go with her.Happy birthday to Ellie…hope you enjoy the cupcake!Payton from Mascoutah

Oh, Sabrina - It wasn't easy. And I totally broke the "don't touch anything" rule by putting my paws on the cart thing.

xandergran ~ My human was a vegetable for like 20 years or something and still isn't very good at meat. I think that's why we live in the House of Carrots :(

Noodles ~ My human was all weird about it too (that's why she made me be in a bag) especially since she was taking my picture and everything. Nobody but her cared! The Meat Lady even came out from behind the special meat case to pet me and say hi.

My human says dogs in California can go in places like the supermarket if they have a special tag. But here in my neighborhood, this rule doesn't seem to apply. I'll tell you more about that at the end of my adventure...

When I was a pug-let, I got to go everywhere with my mom. Then, one day we went to Starbucks, and they made me WAIT OUTSIDE! ON A LEASH... tied to a pole. The only good part was I got a madeline cookie when she came out. Haven't been to Starby's since- not even for the cup of whipped white goodness.You are so SUPER lucky to go to the supermarket.Lafayette Lola

Hahaha you are so silly Pug... I tried to take my Skeeter in to the grocery store when we were at the river a few summers ago... I mean I wasn't going to leave him in the car when it was 115 degrees outside... I was going to carry him... It wasn't like I was going to let him wander around and pee on stuff... and the lady told me no!!!! So apparently you have to be a fuzzy chihuahua in a expensive purse to get in to most grocery stores... Not a battle wounded rescue terrier... So I tried telling the lady he was my seeing eye dog... She kind of thought and minute and then realized I wouldn't be carrying him if that were true. =) Glad you made it in. =) We ended staying outside in the shade until the rest of the fam was done inside.

We don't know how you managed to stay in the bag with all that meaty goodness so close. You have the strongest will, especially for a pug. You have given hope to dogs everywhere that one day they may go to the grocery store.

Oh. My. God. I'm going to bark my head off at my mom for keeping glass cases full of meat a secret from me! That looks like sooooo much fun! And what was that thingy you were riding in around the meat store? That looks like a blast! More pics and meat stories please! Oh and do you think you could drop a few pawfuls of meat into the mailbox addressed to Bella in New Jersey? I think it would get here pretty quick.