Thursday, September 11, 2008

Matt Damon!!

Matt Damon isn't happy about the idea of Sarah Palin in the White House. Oooooh, no. He's not happy one wittle bit. He's been up waaaay past his bedtime worrying his pretty little head about it. Matt says:

"I think that’s a really scary thing because I don’t know anything about her ... You do the actuary tables and there’s a one-out-of-three chance, if not more, that McCain doesn’t survive his first term and it will be President Palin . . . It’s like a bad Disney movie ... ‘I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska.’ And she’s the president ... And it’s like she’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It’s absurd. It’s totally absurd.”

He went on to say "And what if she got knocked on the head and forgot who she was? I did an Excel spreadsheet and there's a 44% chance of that happening. And what if she had to fight her way out of a room full of Russian spies using only her subconsciously remembered little-league hockey mom skills? Could she, like, use lipstick as a weapon? Or whatnot? Because I just don't know if she could. It's like a bad Paul Greengrass movie."

Damon has stared in a number of hit films during his days off from his regular job as an actuary for Nationwide. "I just don't know about Palin," he reiterated, and then wandered down the hall to stare at the pretty blue water going swirly-swirly in the toilet.

A hockey mom from Alaska... In the number 2 spot. As opposed to an embarrassed of America whitey hating voting present 130 times terrorist appeasing wouldn't-be-anywhere-if-I-wasn't-black socialist community organizer in the number 1 spot?