I think it's a question with interesting timing, considering that I read her post almost immediately after being vaguely squicked out, for reasons upon which I could not exactly place my finger, over that "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video this morning.

I just heard the name Justin Bebier last night and have also heard the 'Twilight Moms' go on about the metrosexual barely post-adolescent stars (never seen it/them, never read the books) and think that it's a total double standard. Society has demonized men and 'cougarized' women for the same behaviors.

Women are, unfortunately, viewed as little more than children by society as a whole. Specifically, just like a toddler they're viewed as not being able to control themselves. Hence why prison sentences are much less for women when committing the same crime as men; why it's acceptable for them to "hold out" (sexual blackmail) on a boyfriend or husband just to get their way (the "adult" version of holding her breath and stomping her feet); why too many cops let the woman go home when the rest of the guys in the car are taken to jail; why female teachers are allowed to screw students with little to no consequence; why it's acceptable for a woman to hit a man but not for a man to hit a woman; why women are always right, even when they're obviously wrong (the adult equivalent of "just give her what she wants and she'll stop crying") and why women are allowed to be emotionally incontinent whenever they want wherever they want.

As for the metrosexual thing, studies have shown women on the pill prefer feminine "men" whilst women not on the pill like real men. This becomes problematic when a women on the pill marries an effeminate douche bag of a boy she thinks is hot and goes off the pill to have children.

Downplaying of female capacity to be violent and/or predatory is just another way of regarding women as less than complete persons. They are both, after all, exercises of power. Feminists do themselves no favors to continue to play up male violence and deny female violence, as it plays into exactly what OA just described.

In general female sexuality is perceived as lacking the component of threat that male sexuality does (which is also why, in debates of "can we have gays in (x)" lesbians are completely invisible). As a culture we have a huge problem in seeing women as even capable of victimizing men sexually, or men as capable of being victimized by a woman. It's almost always played for laughs; the last time I saw a (quite serious) description of a man's experience being raped by a woman while drunk, 99% of the comments called him a wimp, a liar, or both.

I do think the tacit social acceptability of adult women sleeping with adolescent boys is a problem. When an adult man sleeps "consensually" with a young girl who doesn't regard the experience as rape, the danger isn't in that he's going to damage her physically, it's that the large power disparity is a psychological risk for her- and there's nothing inherent in gender that changes that risk for a boy in the same situation.

"As a culture we have a huge problem in seeing women as even capable of victimizing men sexually, or men as capable of being victimized by a woman."

Damn straight. There's also the "have sex with me or I'll say you raped me (which society almost always believes without question)" that goes on more than most people think. It isn't a violent rape, but it's a rape none the less.

There's also the "have sex with me or I'll say you raped me (which society almost always believes without question)" that goes on more than most people think. It isn't a violent rape, but it's a rape none the less.

To quibble a bit, a significant portion of "society" doesn't to the point that a lot of male and female alike rape victims never report because they fear they won't be believed- which turns out to be a fairly rational fear, sadly.

However, in both cases ENOUGH people believe or disbelieve the rape accusation to significantly fuck over the life of either the falsely accused or the real victim.

"Hence why prison sentences are much less for women when committing the same crime as men; why it's acceptable for them to "hold out" (sexual blackmail) on a boyfriend or husband just to get their way (the "adult" version of holding her breath and stomping her feet); why too many cops let the woman go home when the rest of the guys in the car are taken to jail; why female teachers are allowed to screw students with little to no consequence; why it's acceptable for a woman to hit a man but not for a man to hit a woman; why women are always right, even when they're obviously wrong (the adult equivalent of "just give her what she wants and she'll stop crying") and why women are allowed to be emotionally incontinent whenever they want wherever they want."

As the song lyrics go: "One of these things is not like the other; one of them is different, wouldn't you know..."

Nobody has a "right" to nookie, not even with their spouse. Both people involved, whether they possess an innie or an outie, get to "hold out" as long as they good-and-goddamned-well please. There is a word for the alternative: It's called "rape". I don't know about you, but I think rapists should be shot between the running lights.

LabRat said... To quibble a bit, a significant portion of "society" doesn't to the point that a lot of male and female alike rape victims never report because they fear they won't be believed- which turns out to be a fairly rational fear, sadly.

Aye. Rape's a bit odd in that it's possibly the most over prosecuted (fake claims thanks to slut's remorse), yet underreported ("no one will believe me" or "I don't want to go through it again on the stand") crime.

Tam said... Nobody has a "right" to nookie, not even with their spouse. Both people involved, whether they possess an innie or an outie, get to "hold out" as long as they good-and-goddamned-well please. There is a word for the alternative: It's called "rape". I don't know about you, but I think rapists should be shot between the running lights.

Tam, if you're holding out simply because you want another pair of white pumps or a new SUV, you need to be the one shot between the running lights, or at the very least go pro.

My ex was the very model of the old joke: How do you cure a nymphomaniac? Marry her.

I have never forced myself on a woman, and in fact never initiated sex. Ever. if you're interested, let me know you're interested. Otherwise, I'm not interested. I want you at Defcon 1 when I start the whoopie machine. I'll make it worth your while, but I'm damned if I'm gonna play guessing games.

As for cougars jumping young kids, it's a hoot if you're the kid, but it don't make it right.

And if the cougar that gets her hands on you has hygeine or depilatory issues, it can really mess with your head.