Thursday, June 27, 2013

*I usually pour myself a glass. Sometimes my babe refuses to eat lunch, so I throw her veggies in the blender as well. I also add breastmilk into her sippy.

Amelia refused to drink her green smoothie the first time I presented it to her. I was persistent, and now she drinks 3 full seven ounce sippy cups a day. As we say around here, "it's delicious and nutritious" and it keeps us both happy and healthy.

note: Amelia said "delicious" twice the other day, and once again today. truth!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I was born to be a mommy (you know I love this calling, right?)
I was not born to be a housewife.

This month after I passed my boards was h e l l .
This uncertainty of my life map mixed with job prospects, great interviews, playing the waiting game, huge disappointments mixed with "being a housewife" watching all my nursing friends get their dream jobs has been so so depressing.

Can I tell you?
I don't like washing dishes. I don't like doing laundry. I don't like cleaning floors.
The only thing I can appreciate from them is being able to check them off my to-do list.
I almost couldn't handle it.
Kissing Jeremy goodbye in the morning, faced with "being a housewife"
Sometimes, when he would say, "hey, if you get a minute, could you..."
I would tear up from anger? disappointment? dread? misery?
To all stay-at-home moms, I applaud you. I don't know how you raise beautiful children, keep a clean house, look gorgeous everyday, have time to update your clever blogs, etc. etc. etc.

Dramatic?
It was a new shift of identity that I wasn't ready to face.
I also don't feel confident in my ability to be a mom and a housewife.
I didn't feel like an equal to my husband.
(okay, let me say that these are really personal insecurities).

Anyways, now that you know the turmoil I went through,
I'm pleased to announce I finally have job!
Meet the newest RN of Stonehenge of American Fork.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Jeremy worked a graveyard shift and came home exhausted the morning of Father's Day.﻿ Gosh, he sacrifices for us so much. Amelia gave him a darling tie-shaped card, a photo album of darling pictures (like the one posted above), a "#1 daddy of the year" plaque, and of course, homemade pizza to wake up to.

We spent the rest of the day going to church, and visiting our dads. One great things about marrying a great man is watching him become a father. Gosh, we both love our baby girl so much... I just adore the fact that a tiny little thing easily has her daddy wrapped around her finger since the day she was born. Thank you for giving up so much for us, for worrying and calling from work, for helping me change diapers and give baths after your long days. Happy Father's Day to our main man!

PS. Jeremy also got a new grill, which nicely sits on our deck. We've barbequed 4 times since in the last week. Always love another reminder of how old we were. (no really, we're homeowners and parents, now we even have a grill...)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Gosh, I loved this party.
Thanks to everyone who helped bring food.
Thanks to Emily, Jenna, Christie for taking all the pictures
(thank goodness for good quality camera phones because none of us had a camera).
Thanks to Randy, Julie, Nate and Lauren for coming early and helping set up. (<---- lifesavers)
Thanks to everyone who gave our hungry caterpillar a present, even though we specified "no presents."
Thanks to my main man for putting up with my neurotic planning, and helping my visions come to life.
Thanks to everyone who could come and make this night so special!

Special thanks to my baby girl who made me a mama and changed my whole life.

I ran a half marathon that morning dedicated to my sweetie, and she slept through the entire thing (cute girl). When we got home, we got her in her birthday dress and fed her a healthy amount of breakfast.

Then it was present unwrapping time:

She's still getting the hang of it. Not really sure why she has to keep unwrapping when she can just play with what's in front of her.

She got a baby doll crib, complete with a mobile! I love the fact that she fits in it herself. gah!﻿

We went swimming in the splash pad, because that's her new favorite thing. There were two older boys (brothers) there who just adored Amelia. They kept playing with her, talking to her, showing her their pool toys, etc. Most darling thing ever.

Every afternoon, Amelia and I walk across the street to get the mail. We couldn't miss it on her birthday, especially when she loves grabbing the letters out of the slot, especially when she loves examining them in the shade under a nearby tree, especially when she loves finding ladybugs and grabbing for them (okay we're working on that...).

Something else that I feel necessary to include: Mealtimes had been difficult the few weeks before Amelia's birthday (like she wouldn't eat. at all. and we were all pretty miserable). On her birthday, she decided to eat like a champ... as in her entire meal, with no cheerio bribing! It was glorious!

We ran some last minute party errands, and headed over to grandma and grandpa Bodtcher's, where they spoiled Amelia rotten. (ps. that picture on the left? happens every time we go over.)

My little mommy. Amelia held that baby doll and fed her from a bottle and pushed her in the stroller. I hadn't anticipated how touching this would be. Melts my heart every time she acts ﻿motherly.

﻿

We sang happy birthday for the 17th time that day and helped Amelia blow out her candle. Can you believe her!? She devoured that cupcake in a matter of minutes! The picture on the right, where she's picking her nose? yeah, we hadn't cleaned that high chair up at all. She's lucky she's so cute! :)

I can't fully express what it means to be a mother. There are plenty of quotes out there about motherhood that I love, but none of them are all-encompassing. Becoming a mother is life-changing (obviously), but in so many ways that are unanticipated. For example, as much as a I love surprises, unplanned events usually stress me out. From the get-go, Amelia has been the definition of unplanned. I had to throw away my check-off lists, and schedules, and routines, and really learn what "going with the flow" meant. Like, really really winging it, because nothing really prepares you for motherhood. How can something so challenging be so amazing and rewarding at the same time? Who knows.

Amelia babe gives me kisses and wraps her arms around me. She jumps up and down in her crib when I come get her in the mornings. She says, "dog" "duck" "fishee" "stop" "hello", and of course "mama" and "DAD". She has eight solid teeth, and she loves to show them off. She giggles when she walks (yes, she full on walks now), and she loves playing ''I'm. gonna. get. you!!!!!!!!" and peek-a-boo. She doesn't take routine naps; sometimes I get one 15-minute nap, yesterday she took two 90-minute naps. She breastfeeds in the morning and at bedtime, and we try to get a healthy meal plus breastmilk and green smoothie in a sippy in three times a day. She enjoys getting the mail and watering mama's vegetables on the back deck.

Gosh, I just love her so much sometimes it hurts. All I do is show people pictures of her and brag about how darling she is. I can't believe it's been a whole year since she was placed on my chest and I met those beautiful eyes. I'm just so grateful to be her mama.

Oh, June 8th is also important because Jeremy and I were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple two years ago. Love that man for making me a wife and for helping me become a mommy.

Julie saved our wedding cake, that we never ate on our first anniversary. umm? She said she was throwing it out, but good on us for making it 2.5 years!

Ever since I had a baby, I have wanted to make holidays extra special, extra meaningful.

Memorial Day rolled around and I was so focused on my NCLEX exam, and so nervous to do anything aside from study. So glad I decided to celebrate:

Amelia and I went to the zoo with the Bodtchers (Dad had to work the night before and sleep that morning). Abi and Ava just adore Amelia and it's so tender watching them show her new things, offer to hold her, kiss her, walk with her, etc. I sure love my nieces.

Apparently, I didn't get the silly face memo in the first picture.....﻿

Ava wanted to push my stroller the entire day, even up that giant hill! So glad I had my little helper, and it looks like Amelia was pretty content with it too!

After the zoo, we headed to Jeremy's foster brother, Cody's grave. I never had the chance to meet him, but he had a huge impact on this family. While visiting his grave, I considered how lucky and blessed I was/am for not knowing too many people who have passed on, and also for the knowledge of eternal families.

Amelia and I went home. I studied while she napped. Around 5 pm, our little family of three headed to our church parking lot to start the first annual neighborhood Memorial Day parade. (My friend Katie planned the entire event for her four boys, and invited all of us to join her! She is so brilliant and I'm so grateful for this experience!) The kids rode on their decorated bikes/scooters and their parents followed behind.

We started with the Pledge of Allegiance at the Zander's home. Then we visited veterans in our wards and listened to their stories and asked them questions. The little boys kept asking, "have you shot ever shot a gun?" "have you ever used a tank?" "have you ever..." etc. etc. Their eyes and hearts were full of curiosity, and I adore them for it.

A lot of the kids were making "whoaaaaaaaaa, no way" faces like Amelia is modeling here.

Our veterans/armed forces sacrifice so much for us, and their families do too. It's easy to forget how lucky we are to live in a free country, where we speak what we want, where we choose our own president, where gather religiously if we desire. It's easy to live our lives and forget those who fight for our rights and our freedoms. I'm so grateful to those who sacrifice so much for my family and I, and I'm grateful for Memorial Day for the reminder that freedom isn't really free at all.