Biz Bits: The year’s stupidest’ toys

Friday

Nov 30, 2007 at 12:01 AMNov 30, 2007 at 6:49 AM

Weekly business rail, this week with a twist on the year’s hottest toys (the nottest toys), tech tips and more.

Santa’s Workshop: This Year’s Nottest Toys
Stupid.com took the time to wade through the most, um, interesting toys of the year and produced a top-10 list. The items range from just plain weird to disgusting (which actually makes some of them good gifts for the prankster in your family). Here’s the list, with Stupid.com’s comments:
1. Mistletoe To Go: http://www.stupid.com/stat/GOGO.html
In the mood for love but on the go? Consider this portable mistletoe. This attractive arrangement of faux mistletoe comes with a suction cup -- that attaches to your head!
2. The Hillary Nutcracker: http://www.stupid.com/stat/HNCK.html
You may love her. You might hate her. But you have never seen her like this. Nutcrackers are a holiday tradition, and this Hillary Clinton Nutcracker is a great gift for Democrats and Republicans alike.
3. Slingshot Monkey: http://www.stupid.com/stat/SLNG.html
What do you get when you cross a slingshot with a monkey? The Slingshot Monkey is a stuffed monkey dressed like a superhero. It flies up to 50 feet, and screams as it flies! There's some type of chip and speaker inside that is activated once the monkey is airborne.
4. Larry Craig Action Figure: http://www.stupid.com/stat/LCAF.html
The Talking Senator Larry Craig Action Figure stands about 12" tall and wears a t-shirt emblazoned with his declaration: "I Am Not Gay." His limbs are bendable, so you can put him in all sorts of poses ... even the famous "wide stance" the senator refers to. Best of all, the action figure talks! Press the button, and he delivers a portion of his press conference.
5. Uncle Oinker's Gummy Bacon Candy: http://www.stupid.com/stat/GMYB.html
That's right. America's favorite smoked-meat product has been reproduced as a tasty candy. Uncle Oinkers Gummy Bacon comes packaged the same way as real bacon. In fact, it even looks like real bacon.
6. Inflatable Moosehead: http://www.stupid.com/stat/MOSH.html
Why go through the expense and trouble of tracking down a moose and shooting it dead when you can simply purchase the Inflatable Moose Head. There's never been an easier (and stupider) way to display "big game" on your wall.
7. Electronic Yodeling Pickle: http://www.stupid.com/stat/EYOD.html
The Electronic Yodelling Pickle is a 6 1/2-inch plastic pickle with a high-tech interior. When you press the pickle's button, it belts out a melodious yodel that will make you think you are in the Swiss alps listening to a yodeling pickle. Fun times.
8. Poo-lar Bear Candy: http://www.stupid.com/stat/J-REIN.html
We all know what bears do in the woods. ... This candy demonstrates what they do in the snow. It's a plastic polar bear that you fill with candy “poop” (actually cola- and butterscotch-flavored jelly beans.) When you press down on the bear's hindquarters, he poops out a tasty treat. Yum!
9. Get Off the Phone Excuse Machine: http://www.stupid.com/stat/PHXC.html
With some people, it's impossible to get off the phone. "My boyfriend said this." "My mother wants that." "A crocodile's in my bathtub." Blah, blah, blah. If only there were a graceful way to break free! The Get Off The Phone Excuse Machine is the answer.

10. USB Dancer: http://www.stupid.com/stat/USBP.html

This bikini-wearing hottie plugs into your computer's USB port and audio port. When sound plays on your system, she dances and gyrates around the pole and performs some truly seductive moves.

Number to Know: $733 million

Amount of money U.S. shoppers spent on Cyber Monday (the Monday after Thanksgiving), according to market research firm ComScore Inc. That amount set a new record for Cyber Monday and was up 21 percent from 2006, according to Reuters. The most popular Web sites were those of Amazon, Wal-Mart, Target, Dell and Best Buy, the report said.
Quote of Note
"You could be searching for really innocuous things and get nailed. There was really nasty stuff in there."
Alex Eckelberry, head of Sunbelt Software, one of the firms that thwarted a massive Internet attack that planned to hijack search-engine results. -- Source: BBC
Tech Tip: Watch for Video Viruses
According to computer security experts, the next big viruses likely won’t come in e-mail but in a viral video. The explosion in popularity of YouTube.com and other online video-sharing Web sites has not gone unnoticed by hackers. While email attachments were the vehicle of choice years ago, hackers know what’s popular, and are turning their attention to online videos – particularly those that are viewed in their own media players. Last fall, a computer worm was discovered that became activated after a computer user opened a file in a media player. That worm then installed spyware on that person’s PC. What can you do? Make sure all your anti-virus software is up to date. -- www.techtips101.com
Tip of the Week: How to Avoid Legal Problems
Here are five tips from business-advice Web site Score.org on how to be legal smart:
- Arm yourself with basic knowledge of business law so that you’re alert to your company’s obligations and rights.
- Practice prevention. Have your attorney review contracts and agreements before they’re signed.
- Get your attorney’s opinions on documents you have drafted -- such as employee policies -- before you put them in place. You want to make sure they meet the requirements of the law.
- Familiarize yourself with trademark and patent laws so that you don’t violate them. Learn how to apply for a trademark or copyright should you need to do so.
- Understand the law as it pertains to your organizational structure. Your legal obligations as a C corporation, for example, will differ from those as a sole proprietor.
Dirty Jobs: Porta-Potty Cleaner
Remember those long, long lines at Lollapalooza, or whatever the last festival was you were at? After a few hours cooking in the sun, all that stuff has to go somewhere, right? The people who clean these not only hose down the walls, they have to vacuum human waste from the tank. – Forbes.com
GateHouse News Service