As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic pork belly...

He had no one but himself to blame. What did he expect, having inhaled slabs of the fatty pig meat over the past year as if breathing air? He consumed it at Sakaya Kitchen, Sugarcane Raw Bar Grill, gastroPod, Gigi, Pubbelly, The Setai, Sra. Martinez, 660 at The Anglers, 1500 Degrees...and, most recently, at American Noodle Bar, Michael Bloise' newcomer on Miami's Upper East Side. The pork belly with spicy watermelon balls, lettuce, and basil leaves that he devoured there -- cooked just right, with caramelized cap, tender meat, and a melting ribbon of fat cut by the salad vinaigrette -- was apparently the bacon that broke the camel's back.