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07 May 2010

Here! (raise hand)

Ispent the morning with Olive. It was Mother's Day Tea. I don't drink tea, except for the herbal variety, but I went anyway. I cried during I'm a little Teapot. Again. Sheesh. All the mothers sat in their child's teeny tiny seat while tea and other tea party delights were served. The mother sitting on my left looked at me and said, Oh, I've never met you before, with clear implications that there are only two weeks of school remaining and how I could possibly have been so absent among the other Kindergarten mothers (?).

I politely laughed and mentioned that I wished I could have spent more time in the classroom. She promptly turned to the mother to her left and ignored me for the rest of tea time. I enjoyed chatting with Olive as she pointed out various pieces of her artwork throughout the classroom.

Then I was mad at myself for saying aloud I wish I had spent more time in the classroom because it certainly is not true, and for allowing the other mother to momentarily make me feel guilty. Olive is a gregarious gal of sorts and loves her peers. And I love that she is and does.

I have chosen to have more children than all of her classmates' mothers. I am glad, no grateful I have and that I get to stay home with the tiniest of the bouquet.

They will never again be this age where they come running to you when you squat down to their petite height, arms stretched,

when they'll give you wet kisses on demand,

or grab both of your cheeks in their pudgy little hands to turn your face to theirs to tell you of important matters on their young mind.

I am content, and really, thrilled, to be their mother, present in the home, if absent in the classroom.

29 comments:

I am glad you are the kind of mother that likes be THERE. And proud to have a wife who thinks it is cool to actually RAISE her own children. I love you, all that you do. And even though what you do, does not garner the accolades that are audible--or the spotlight that is lit by things of the world. You simply SHINE. Even radiate within the beauty of eternal goddess you are.

Blessed are you for choosing the better part. And I thank you for feeling the contentment of the career of MOTHER. Not many are willing to do it anymore, you know . . .

SHAME on that lady....to stoop low enough to make herself feel better in some crazy way. You deserve a standing ovation for choosing to stay at home and raise 5 beautiful girls! Not too many woman would choose that road! You are awesome!! Happy Mothers Day to you, hope you have a great weekend!!!

that was a really touching post. I have not had children yet but when I do I want to stay at home with them so I can savour the moments of their childhood before they grow up. I can't believe that mother made you feel that way. How rude! I hope you have an amazing mothers day!

My name is Paula and I've recently began reading your blog. I love it!! I'm a new mother of a two-month old baby girl, Isabel. Just now I'm starting to understand the sacrifice of being a stay-at-home mom. I had to make the decision just this week of going back to work or staying at home. And I've chosen to stay home even if it means that I don't get to take showers in the morning or wear nice clothing all the time. It takes courage to do so.

I'll agree with jaredandmatisse...my friend was there with her child. I asked if she saw you and her response was, "yes and she was wearing the coolest vintage hat". She said, "She totally looks like the person I would want to hang around. I love her style."

i found your blog not that long ago and am so glad i have. we have 3 girls and will be having 2 more little ones in the future. sometimes i am scared and worried about how well i am doing as a mother, wife, and the other titles i hold. i worry about who my gilrs will become. when i come here i feel peace, laugh, and find hope. thank you.gmcclan.blogspot.com (family life)ordinarycreativity.blogspot.com (other thougths)

Your husband's comment made me cry. What a tribute to you and it is well deserved. What that woman doesn't understand is the joy and sisterhood you have and continue to give your sweet little Olive (and all of your girls)because you have made the sacrifice to be a mother of many.

Ryan,You are still as poetic as you were back in the days... Thank you for being so openly endeared to your wife. A rarity. Something I still hope to find.

Katy,Wow. So many women would LOVE to hear those words of love, appreciation, and admiration from their husbands. So cool! And, he's totally right. You are amazing and you do seem to SHINE in all that you do.

If that Mom had any brains at all, she would have sat at your feet and BEGGED for all your wisdom. You seem to do so much with so little time! You are awesome.

Recently started reading your blog. Love that you have embraced being a mother to a big family. Love that you are a strong, loving role model to your girls and love that you are sharing it with us.

I have a 21 month and an 11 week old... both girls... and I would never dream of going back to work for a bigger house or for a career etc. They grow up so quick and there is too much to miss.

Did she think you were a career woman, too busy for your children? Or she knows you have five? Whatever to that lady anyway... you'd think mothers should support each other and not try to make them feel like how you felt!

Just wanted to come out of lurking to wish you a happy mothers day and you probably know this already but being a stay at home mum is the toughest job ever, but you seem to be rocking it! :)

Hello! I have been reading you for awhile now (Gosh you're creative!) and I have to applaud you for this post. Women in general and Moms in particular can be so harsh and judgemental of each other. Think what womankind could accomplish if we could set aside that urge to compete with other women. I'm at home as well, with 17 month old twin girls, and I have a almost 10 year old son and a ten year old Bonus Kid. No, I don't get to the school as much as the other parents, and I get looked down on for it as well. (And I'm an ex-teacher for heck's sake!) I can tell you another thing, and I don't want this to sound sucky-uppy, because I mean it. I'm a woman who has (and has always had) lots of trouble making friends. I'm not one of the types that alot of people equate with being a SAHM hereabouts. I don't have a posh haircut. I don't wear fancy (read:expensive) clothes, I'm very sort of BoHo chic, and I don't wear alot of makeup, I'm slightly overweight and I don't drive a fancy car. (I was the girl with my nose in a comic book or Dungeons and Dragons game in high school I'm now the girls who cooks and sews and raises good people :D) I am comfortable in my own skin and I try to take others at face value. But, alot of the Moms who physically look and dress very, very nicely and are pretty and skinny and whatever other labels, really snub me. It's so much like high school that I'm kind of glad not to be included in that particular sorority. I think it's refreshing and wonderful to see a beautiful, stylish, confident Mom like you who will actually engage other folks. And you're a better woman than me for not saying something really snotty and sarcastic to that horrible woman! :D

What a missed opportunity on her part? She doesn't recognize you- great here's her chance.

I thought about this post all weekend. It seemed to fit well with this great article I recently read at http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/04/13/mommy.mafia.jen.klein/index.html. It is all about the "mommy mafia". Motherhood is hard enough without judging. Why can't we just respect one another's choices and be confident in our own? Although, I still have to tell myself that everyday!