From Fajar To Isha

Right from the childhood I was introvert. I did not have much friends. I was passionate about about my belongings. Just as in a movie an object is needed to go into the flesh back I use my childhood belongings for the same. If I have a choice I shall choose a tunnel instead of a cave, because the tunnel has a way out. It is not like a cave or life. It was long back or at an early stage of my life I had realised that the word "heart" has another meaning also, the fragrancy feeling of another human being. It was exectly the time when my inside woman took the existence and started clamouring. Time to time I moulted, in moulting the innerself remains the same. I had never allowed my innerself to be calm. I always had a volcano inside myself, though it was never active yet it was never silent also.

Neither I could change the persons who surrounded me nor I had changed myself, the gap between the two broadened day by day. Now when I have reached at the stage where few people are there, the feeling of lonliness does not spare me. I feel myself as a star moving in the sky and other stars passing by just wish me and goes off. I wonder if they remember me afterwards. I listen to their grievences, happy moments have a shorter memory than of the nastier moments. Neither we want to get rid of them nor the memory of those painful moments spare us. We are somehow passionate about our nastier moments. Stigamatision is realisation, the points on which the God was nailed always bleed. It was in April 2011 when I went to Haridwar I felt the waves of the river going far and far and leaving the whispers. I had listened to the whispers and interacted with them. Now on Dec.7' 2011 again I went there. I realised the whispers I was passionate about went far off, new whispers were there, I did not interact much with the new whispers. I could not stay there for more than an hour. I took the message from the river " The Flow is Concept of Life." If you stay still for a particular moment, you become History. Remember the History also becomes a victim of obliviousness. I with my inside woman are firm that we shall never respond or bow to dogma. THE WAY I AM, I SHALL. In old English I say " EXISTENCE THOU WERT THE WONDER."