Thursday, October 20, 2011

I wonder what she'd be like in bed and what he'd be like in the ring

It's commonly joked that within the first few moments of seeing a woman, men are envisioning what it'd be like to have sex with her.

I have to confess that within the first few moments of seeing a man, I'm usually doing something similar. No, no, not that similar. I'm sizing him up, assessing whether or not I could take him. Is this normal? If not, what do guys think about first when they see other guys? How much social prestige he has? How wealthy he is? Not much of anything at all?

How about women when they see another woman? How pretty she is (without the gratuitous male imagery that accompanies it)? Her sense of style?

I do that in general at parties. I always feel I can take care of myself, but I shouldnt be the toughest guy anywhere, so if I am at a party and dont think a single guy could beat me up, I know I am at a SWPL or artist party (my wife is an artist).

To The Audacious Epigone, do you happen to be a woman? If so, are most of your readers and visitors women?

Richard Dawkins in the "Selfish Gene" talks about how each gender has to use a gender specific survival strategy and tactic.

Men having more testosterone and physical capability in general can and will get into physical confrontations more often than women, who has to worry about protecting her sexual organs and valuable eggs.

Also since most women are weaker physically, it would make more sense for many of them to employ words and negotiation rather than direct confrontation. I suppose this is why gossip is highly important to many of them, since women can exchange valuable information between each other to enhance their reproductive success with "desired" men.

Women generally looking for protection and resources in the form of social power or fitness, while men look for reproductive success, hence attracted to younger healthy body types.

Depends on context, I was bouncer for 3 years and studied martial arts most of my life as well as street fighting as youth until the martial arts training got through to me that that was a bad idea. So I tend to enjoy imagining fights. However I only tend to to it in social isolated scenarios, walking down the st. meeting large groups of people etc. In informal small group settings I am more interested in whether that person would be interesting to talk to or train with. I don't tend to imagine most women in bed either though. Again I do that primarily in situations were I don't know anyone like walking at the beach in summer.

I always size up people by whether or not I can learn something from them or whether I know more than they do about everything, literally. So, I could even find a carpenter or concrete contractor interesting to talk to, but most women are intensely boring.

As a commenter points out, eyeballing suggests there is a pretty high correlation between that number and how Republican the state is and/or how Republican the non-Hispanic whites in the state are. E.g., Texan Mexican-Americans are more likely to identify as racially white than are Californian Mexican-Americans.

I don't do this... sounds very 'Fight Club'. But I didn't get into a lot of fights as a kid and was never beaten up, so I expect that it was never impressed onto my unconscious mind as an important matter.

I don't do this. Not as a first thing, anyway. With men the first thing I am doing is trying to judge how smart they are. That actually sounds very much like what you are doing - just a different trait. With women - yes, first thoughts/analysis are sexual.

i'm not your typical woman so i'm probably not the best gal to answer this question. but even i have some girlie traits, and i think the answer to your question is: "Is she more/less attractive than me?", i.e. where do i stand in the ranking compared to her. and after that: "Is she someone I should ally myself with (to help me get a man/men/social standing/whatever)."

am in full agreement with silly girl -- most women are intensely boring!

Yes, now that you bring it up, it seems like I do think "can I take him?" when I encounter a strange male in the age range of late teens to middle age. It's a very brief, almost unconcious thought; and not always. By "take him," I mean win a fight.

I look at older men to see how they're holding up. Same with older women. I check out younger women for "fit and "finish". As for young men, teens especially, I wonder how conplicit they will be in their own death.

Do you really do that to every man and woman you meet? Perhaps you feel insecure or you have OCD?

I'm confident that I can beat most men in a fight so it's taken for granted. The only time I think about it is if the male is a big, alpha type and aggressive. In that case I'm already strategizing.

Likewise with women there has to be a stimulus, I don't find most women attractive. I'm only attracted to Nordish women of a fertile age who are at least above average in attractiveness. The more attracted I am to them the more I think about it. It's certainly not something I'm preoccupied with or scanning the room like a pervert undressing all the women.

My boyfriend is 6'6 and I notice other men noticing him all the time. They turn and have to twist up their heads to see his head height. That brought to my attention that men immediately assess other men as a threat or not by how big they are. I have had older women comment to me in front of him that they find him scary and they don't believe me that he is totally kind.For me, I look to see friendly they are but can't help noticing if they are handsome/pretty. That's it, I don't rank myself or look to get something from them. Of course if its an aggressive male then i would be looking to get away from them as fast as possible so I am not immune the the threat thing either.