Divorce Diaries

Equitable Division

One of the things you start doing – almost immediately – when you decide to divorce is figure out who gets what. Who gets the kids and when? Who gets how much money? Who gets the couch, the entertainment center, the dog? I suppose I was fortunate in that Peter and I never really fought over any of that stuff. I know people who had long, drawn out fights about CD collections, making stuff like that a sticking point in negotiations. There’s even a case in the news right now about a couple fighting over who gets the season tickets for a football team.

Then there are the non-stuff things that end up getting divided – the family, the friends, and the holidays. Thanks to Facebook, I’m still keeping up with the in-laws, and the few friends that I’ve seen fade away were never anybody I was terribly close to, so it hasn’t been too bad. The holidays are a lot harder for me, as they were always cherished family time for us. They’re still family time, but I think it’ll be a few years before that stops feeling like we’re missing something.

We have a local fall festival up the road from us around this time every year, and unfortunately, it falls on Peter’s weekend again. Anna was just asking if we were going and I reminded her that she needs to ask her father and for some reason she decided that she’d rather be going with me. I could probably talk to Peter and get him to change weekends, but I know Peter liked the festival too, and the kids had a blast with him last time they went. He gets custody of this family outing, and that’s that.

Divide, divide, divide. But somehow, no matter how you do it, it never seems really fair, does it?

About The Author

Ellie DeLano

Ellie DeLano is a parenting and relationship blogger, a freelance writer, a full-time working single mom, and frequently exhausted. She's slogging her way through the world of single parenting, mid-life dating and reinventing herself with a pop-tart in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

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