We, the romanian neam, would like to invite you aici. Să eat some mici. Drink some pălincă. Dar asta nu e all.

Probabily că you know that Romania are many beautyfull females. Asta e great sin. Don`t come here for hâțânămă-hâțânămă! Clear?

We in Romania have the Garden of Mother of God. Maria`s Garden! We are much creștini and very loved by Dumnezeu.

Deci we have lots of mânăstiri&biserici, schituri and caves where preoți dormiră. Very wow!

Go to the seaside. After you make bronz go to kiss părticică din stone de pe Golgota mountain. In Constanța, at Mânăstirea Dervent. Yes, true părticică din stone. If you no satisfaction you can go and kiss părticică din right hand of Ioachim Vatopedinul în Mangalia at Biserica „Mother of God falls asleep”.

You are in Oltenia? How the f… ai ajuns acolo? No problem. But you really have to kiss something. Try Nifon`s left hand at Biserica Mitropoliei din Craiova. After this you can go for a walk in cartierul Fața Luncii.

Arrived in Vaslui?

No problem. If you are a male, sub 60 de ani. If you are femeie over 60, dress like a man and try să nu arăți prea sexy. Here you can drink as spirt as you can. Try everything: lanț rachiu, pufoaică rachiu, rachiu rachiu and „bea `tu-ți ceapa mă-tii” rachiu. After this you can kiss mâna Sfintei Chiriachi. We don`t know care mână e, but kiss oricum.

Going to Timișoara? Make a stop at Gataia at Saint Gheorghe church. And kiss a part of his head. Yes, we have o părticică din capul celui care a dat fatality la dragon.

Ever heard of Parascheva? She`s bigger then Beyonce. Mega turneu every year. Zeci de mii de people going to see her. People go mad at her events.

Arsenie Boca? He`s worldwide like Hagi and Nadia. Very big. His picture is crying every day. Cea mai depressed picture in the world.

And we have big and nice biserici. Old biserici. Great neam făcut biserici alot. Under pașalâc, ori other dominații, but we made biserici.

Now we are building a huge ChurchMall in Bucharest. You`ll have to go to Ploiești to make un selfie să-ți intre toată catedrala în poză.