I think what happened to you is called "puberty". And I think I see your problem now. How are people (girls in particular) going to accept you as you are -- a sensitive, soft-spoken boy -- if they don't even know you're a boy?

In Canada, it's usually the other way around. I've known a few girls who look distinctly unfeminine. When I was young they made it a point to have long hair, and wear earrings and other jewelry, etc., so even if they didn't look stunningly attractive, at least no one would mistake them for guys. Unfortunately that wouldn't work today, and it doesn't help you.

I have no idea what would work for a guy in Pakistan. A beard would be proof positive if you can manage it, but it wouldn't suit me and maybe not you either. Other than than that, maybe Chrysalis has some suggestions?

So it is not allowed. Im so confused. Should I commit suicide?I hope it is allowed in Islam since my life has no purpose and it is already said that its sin to be like a girl for a boy.

I believe Ronn has made a valid observation. I think you are now dwelling in self-sympathy and overreacting a bit !

Nabil, everyone has clearly stated, and not at all been vague about this issue. Infact, for once, everyone here put forward the same opinion i.e. It is not a sin to be what Allah has made you. Meaning that if you are slightly effeminate, there is nothing "unislamic" about it, and Allah will not hold you accountable for something that is not within your control.

At the end of the day/life . . . what matters is how good a muslim/human bieng you were and Taqwa. Bieng a Macho-Man does not neccessarily mean you are a good person/muslim.

As far as the statement that you want your old faith back. . .I believe you hold the solution to your own problem. . .i.e. get your old faith back. Noone is holding you back, but you. You have already experienced that being confident, sure of yourself, having faith worked for you. Just do the same thing.

And the only reason I suggested any change was IF you felt like an outsider, or had trouble adjusting, to which I suggested that perhaps you adapt yourself. But that was a mere suggestion keeping in mind your sole interest. If you are happy the way you are, Alhamdulilah. . . and all the more power to you.

I would like to add that you try and pick yourself up, and stop drowning in self-pity, feeling like a victim. 'Cz once you overcome that mentality, you will notice a wondrous change. All that talk of suicide signals to me that you are seeking attention. I suggest you talk about your feelings to your parents, and you will get the rightful attention. However, selfpity and suicide is not the way to go. Besides, as a muslim we knw that suicide does not end our troubles, it merely starts them. Surely you believe in the afterlife. . . how will you explain yourself to Allah? Allah dislikes suicide. This is a silly reason to contemplate suicide anyway. . .you'r not a coward, we should learn how to face our own demons. . .not run away from them.

And from what you mention, your just slightly effeminate thats all, that is not exactly the grounds for a gender-change anyway . . . that is for deep-rooted psychological problems. Thank Allah that you have been blessed with a normal mind and body . . .and trust in Him.

There is nothing wrong with you. . .So stop thinking there is. And if you think you have acquired any bad habits that need changing, have the courage to face them, and change them.

PS: And if you're parent's are not the kind one can talk to. . . you can always post here. But not just for attention! :p We are here to provide constructive advise/help . . .or even to lend a listening ear. Whatever helps. Good Luck Nabil.

Edited by Chrysalis - 20 June 2008 at 2:16pm

"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."

I think what happened to you is called "puberty". And I think I see your problem now. How are people (girls in particular) going to accept you as you are -- a sensitive, soft-spoken boy -- if they don't even know you're a boy?

In Canada, it's usually the other way around. I've known a few girls who look distinctly unfeminine. When I was young they made it a point to have long hair, and wear earrings and other jewelry, etc., so even if they didn't look stunningly attractive, at least no one would mistake them for guys. Unfortunately that wouldn't work today, and it doesn't help you.

I have no idea what would work for a guy in Pakistan. A beard would be proof positive if you can manage it, but it wouldn't suit me and maybe not you either. Other than than that, maybe Chrysalis has some suggestions?

this is so not the problem!!!!

I do not look like a girl. I look like a normal guy,boy but upon meeting others they think im too polite and talk and walk like girl.

I can not control my mind. Dont know how to think,what to think.Please help me control my mind.

Well Im feeling much better than now.When I pray to Allah,this amazing thing happens,my mind blocks away.And its like the only connection present is between Allah and me.I feel I have no worries.I feel good.

And Im observing people more open mindedly now and I realize that I do not have a problem. No one said anything to me and I should not cry over spilt milk.I am who I am. So what if Im a bit girlish,a million other people are like me and Im happy :)

my beloved, that which you're afraid of is that whichsaves you. with us your called enlightined. the power you shall gainis that from the love and kindness that god has put into you by his will . never turn away from it. few men are given this gift on their own. you are, who you are for a reason. let that what you have grow within. the power that you'll gain is that which saves worlds. you are one of gods elect the time will show itsrlf when all things shine.

bless you my brother, protect yourself from those who would destroy the things of true love .

yours truely in gods love.

leland. (please read my reply in the "where did the trinity teaching come from. topic under" prophet- jesus" to see how special you are!! )

Very nice thread full of information, and I think this is not problem of single and it's normal and easily everyone can see same situation and similar person. My one friend is also similar like this and but he is happy because he doesn't mind what people think about him and what they say behind him. He is living life with fun and joy but I'm sure such questions will also come in his life. I had e-mail link to him. He is non-Muslim but I know it would be best for him also. Nice thread and Thanks specially for Nabil, who created this thread.

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