G.I. Joe gets $15 billion boost from budget deal

NEW YORK, NY — President Trump called into Fox & Friends this morning to announce that G.I. Joe will receive a $15 billion boost in the 2017 budget.

“This is a huge win for G.I. Joe and a huge win for America,” he said.

There is no record of a G.I. Joe team actually existing, but co-host Steve Doocy did not press the president for further detail.

At one point co-host Ainsley Earhart began nodding and smiling uncontrollably. The show cut to a commercial and quickly replaced her with another fembot.

Co-host Brian Kilmeade seemingly ignored the glitch and continued the conversation with the president by asking what this boost would do for G.I. Joe. Trump’s strange answer indicated he didn’t quite understand that G.I. Joe is a team and not one person.

“This money will give him huge — and I mean huge — muscles. It’ll be a G.I. Joe like the world’s never seen before!”

Again, Kilmeade and Doocy did not to challenge the president (ratings have been at record highs since inauguration day).

Other news networks were quick to pounce, however. Over at Morning Joe on MSNBC, host Joe Scarborough commented: “I guess the president wasn’t too happy with the latest action figure he bought for his nightly bubble baths.”

But President Trump is not backing down. Since this morning’s gafe, he’s tweeted:

G.I. Joe is an American HERO! He will now be bigger and better! Believe me. Our enemies will cower at the sight of him!