How do I describe this blog?
A line from the movie "Old School" with a small tweak.
"My friends, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my blog as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here."

Friday, October 21, 2005

WWJD???

Dear Jesus,Hello, how are you? I'm fine, and I hope you are doing well also. My name is Mr. Shife and I live in Idaho. Wait, you already know that, right. You are like omnipotent or something. So, do I need to even write this letter? Hmmm, well what the hell. Ooops, can I say hell? I mean I say dirty words all the time and if you are like Ms. Cleo, you already know I say stuff like shit, cock, balls, fuck, etc. Maybe you need to give me a quick demonstration of your powers.Whose mother did I have impure thoughts about in high school? And cue the Jeopardy music, ..... tick-tock. And Jesus, can I have your answer? Holy Crap, you are like a superhero and shit. I never told anyone that. Damn, you are the man. High Five to the J Man.Anyway, I am getting off track here, but you knew that. So I have a question for you and since you are one cool dude, I mean you turned water into wine. God, that is awesome. Ooops, I did it again. Did you get mad when people use God's name in vain or is it an urban legend? Did you also see what I did there? I dropped a reference to the song that made Britney Spears famous. Seriously, what's up with that? I mean talk about throwing a dog a bone. You could have done much better. I think she kind of let you down.Seriously, I need to wrap this up. I mean you are one busy guy, at least I assume you are. Do you have down time? I mean is there a better way to contact you? I have tried the prayer thing but evidently you were too busy to hear my prayer because, ummm, I don't know if you read the papers but the Cardinals are not going to win the World Series this year. You owe me one.Alright, so the point of my letter is this. Sylvester Stallone is making another "Rocky" movie, what would Jesus do?

What's up Mr. Shife? Thanks for the love, you are one cool cat. Don't worry about the blasphemy and the foul language, there are bigger things to worry about than saying shit.So Mr. Shife, what would I do? I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think everything is going to be fine. Thanks for writing me, and don't forget to take your vitamins.

I believe Jesus would show up drunk and beligerent, make some off-color comments about how the King of the Jews shouldn't have to pay $8.50 to see a flick, and that the theater's crucifying him. Then he'd get inside, turn the water into Coca-Cola, and feed everyone in the theater with one kernel of popcorn. That's what I think.

Instead turning a water into Coca Cola and on kernal of PopCorn into enough to feed the whole audience, perhaps the big J-Dog would turn that Rocky movie into something watchable-oh and unique... Um hello? How long are we going to be riding this remake train Hollywood?

Poor Holy Spirit. You don't get any play. But it's kinda awkward and all when, you know, when you've got the creator and his kid to pray to. I'm sure you kind of turn out feeling like the KMart of the big guys. At least you can walk through walls and stuff, being a spirit and all.

Mrshife, I spoke with Jesus this morning and asked him to help me with a good response to your blog today. He said, "Just tell him I love him".As for unanswered prayers and baseball,, those Astro fans musta been out-praying us.

I live in LA and have worked in "the industry" (please people, don't ask "which one" there's only one). Unfortunately, ever since Bruckheimer, reality tv, and Tom Cruise, God and the Devil have abandoned the film industry altogether. Obviously, it can only be the domain of uncreative ego maniacs and advertising and "product placement" people (Coming soon "Kleenex, The Movie".) ROCKY will no doubt be a giant mega smash hit. Sports, however, still belong to God and the bookmaker. Alas, there is no comfort for Cards fans this year. God's ways are dark and mysterious and rarely comforting.

Hey Mr. Shife ... just wanted you to know that I linked to you. I was frequently visiting your site from Sugar and Nicole and decided it was about time I went direct. Love your work (by the way, I'm a different Scarlett than the Scarlet you already link to). Kisses and blasphemy,Scar

They're making another "Rocky" movie? What could that possibly be about other than a past-his-prime boxer making a comeback? It reminds me of a past-his-prime actor who keeps making sequels to the one successful thing he's ever done in his life until it is no longer considered successful . . .