Life isn't funny, it only appears that way

politics

Just over one million citizens are registered to vote in the General Elections in Trinidad and Tobago today. This election season has been a hard, uncomfortable and a wasteful time for most citizens except for mike men, jersey men, stage providers, political songsters and political paraphernalia providers. By 10:00 p.m tonight most of the writing will be on the political wall and a victorious party will emerge setting off fireworks disturbing dogs, cats, birds and the losing party. So one party will win and one party will lose, one party will be appointed the official plunders while the other will look on in envy. Regardless of which party wins Jack Warner will lose and that is the one victory the country can celebrate together. Mr. Warner is a bitter man who has enough money to be uniformly miserable for the rest of the life he chooses to have.

Despite who loses, I will continue to go Movietowne twice a month and avoid chicken fried in old oil and once a month if the dollar is devalued. Politicians in Trinidad and Tobago are all about smoke and mirrors, creating the illusion of hope and despair and never talking or dealing with the truth. If a new party, the PNM, comes into power then their revenge on the old party will be brutally executed while attempting or pretending to attempt to steady the economy. If the Peoples Partnership wins then they will be sure to continue their nepotism and favoritism and blunders as if the last five years never happened. This is the hope the country has to look forward to tonight.

Fortunately, I don’t have to listen for the results and commentary by biased and ignorant “Political Analyst” on both sides of the divides as the sound of fireworks from my neighbor, or no sound at all will tell me who won. It is a no-win-no-win situation.

People and economist are saying that Trinidad and Tobago is living beyond its means and that is contributing to the drain on foreign exchange in the country. This was no doubt made worse in the short term by the flood of back-pay to public servants. Also, our spending habits such as buying too many cars and flooding “skyboxes” with goodies all year round is no doubt a big drain but I can say from observation that the forex drain from buying imported cars far outweigh the purchases via individuals’ skyboxes.

But the real cause of this drain is too much disposal income due to heavily subsidized basic needs such as water, electricity, prescription medicine, gasoline, laptops, GATE and canned foods. If we were to pay a less subsidized portion of these items then there would be less money to make the unimaginative big time importers of everything even less imaginative and innovative. The motto of these companies seems to be “just bring it down and it will sell.”

Everyday you see oil prices sliding downhill worse than Jack Warner’s reputation. Everyday you see countless ads urging us to buy in order to be happy. Banks, a big beneficiary of the big disposable incomes due to big government subsidies, are all too willing to make it happen with a loan of your choice. The Minister of Finance hinted that they are concerned with how the reduction in government subsidies will affect the most vulnerable. The most vulnerable has always been the politicians’ pet and best friend so it is always in political parties interest to have as many most-vulnerable as they can create as democracy is one man one vote.

I am anxious for the elections to be over with and I do not envy the next party in power as something drastic will have to be done quickly to prevent our thin-walled economic bubble from bursting. Sink or swim, Kamla or Rowley, I want this thing called General Elections to be over so we can pay attention to the more serious things in life like the economy and how much de Government goe give we.

I have a theory which says that a Government must be changed every five years as this is the only way to put the breaks on the corruption juggernaut they have nurtured and cared for during their term in office. If this juggernaut is not stopped then the corruption wave will continue to grow at an exponential rate and by the end of a second five year term it will become an out of control Godzilla. In other words it will become we culture. Also, by putting a new party in power the corruption dollars and favors would have been shared between the very select few and fortunate of the party in power. This is a type of proportional representation that was quietly proposed by the vibrant corrupt sector of our blessed land.

Unfortunately both the proverbial and actual man-in-the-street will be out of pocket by the total amount amount of corruption dollars that is pocketed by the few and fortunate. It will not matter which party you vote as the tax man doesn’t discriminate and 99.999% of all citizens will have to fund both the unelected and elected corrupt.

Like cockroaches and the poor, the corrupt will always be with us only the color of their jerseys may be different. Don’t be fooled by highways and railroads as your vote is not about that. Your vote isn’t even about getting a better quality of life or a reduction in crime or an increase in parking spots in Port of Spain. Your vote is about corruption and only corruption, everything else they say is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of choosing our evil.

In my opinion it’s easy to identify an idiot by the statements they make and politicians are people who generally make stupid statements which the public is not aware are stupid statements. This is so because the public often make these same statements and, through the grace of god, they are not burdened with the ability to even realize this.

However, the healthy minister of health, probably due to a big gut reaction or lack of blood flowing to the brain at the time, unfairly turned the fragile public opinion against Chinese people of Trinidad and Tobago with his pronouncement on the dog-skinning video making its way on social media. This is unfortunate as it seems Mr. Minister was too trigger-happy and probably let his personal biases loose in public as election fever grabs political candidates by their proverbial real balls and squeeze at regular and frequent intervals. The results of this frequent squeezing being the senseless utterances by the numerous and professionally senseless politicians of Trinidad and Tobago.

It is sad to think that despite his lack of a properly wired brain Mr. Minister might be a candidate in the upcoming general elections and sadder that he might still be as popular with the voting public despite strong evidence proving he is the second leading candidate for Country Idiot with Jack Warner being number one for some time now.

The dog-skinning video is sick but even sicker is the Minister’s love for hate. One video dose not a case make, unless you are an idiot, of course.

Local personality, charming politician, and football fiend, Jack Warner, said to his tens of thousands of followers and detractors last night at the airport that corruption built,”I’ll be back.” Mr Warner, a self-made self-terminator, was about to get on a flight bound to a land not too far away. He was accompanied by armed security guards who will ensure he gets to his final destination safely.

Many were sad while many were glad. “You could say what yuh want, Jack could run he mouth,” said one supporter clad in a spent-green tee-shirt. A detractor dressed in bright yellow swore a little too casually about how Jack used to be good until he turned green. Panday, a one-time very close friend and an almost-enemy of Jack, and now a career political dead-horse, said he wanted to hug Jack but felt he might get, or even be, carried away. Ramesh, another popular, fulltime dead-horse and professional opportunist thinks Mr. Warner was misunderstood by those who liked him and fully understood by investigators.

A noticeable chunk of the general election economy will be seriously hit by Mr. Warner’s sudden departure as mike men, tee-shirt makers and green paint suppliers start to count their losses. When the leader of the Opposition was asked to comment he simply said “I told you so.” The Prime Minister did not immediately return calls for a comment from this blog but shortly after released a brief statement saying “Jack Who?”

Mr Speaker, before I begin I want to acknowledge an immense debt of gratitude to the Prime Minister whose astute leadership has caused the PP to not only win not one damn seat in the Tobago House of Assembly elections but also to lose the Chaguanas West by-election in the UNC heartland to the more astute Jack Warner by a big, big margin. By doing this she distinguishes our public affairs and has created the conditions for higher levels of confidence in our economy and society. Ent?

THINGS ARE GROWING AS WE SPEAK

Our economy is growing. Inflation is down. We have lowered food prices, a matter which was impacted this year by the removal of the VAT on food such as red beans in cans – a Sunday staple in homes with food, and canned mini chicken hotdogs which, I am told, might assist in causing cancer due to its high nitrate content. But not to worry as we are once again promising to build an oncology (cancer treatment) centre but more on that oldie but goodie later. I just want to add that the economy is growing along with the bank accounts of the select few.

BRIBES

Mr. Speaker, the issue of Government’s procurement mechanism has been outstanding for too long. This, as you can well imagine, is a mechanism which will make the awarding of favours to party shareholder and the chosen few a bit more difficult. Needless to say, this will not go down well with the up and coming briber and bribees but I am sure there will be the customary loopholes cleverly fitted into the act thus continuing to make politics an attractive field for the scum at heart.

LAND AND BUILDING TAX IN YOUR…

Mr. Speaker, if there was one phrase which one can be called misguided it will be that ominous and overused phrase “axe the tax.” Off the record I want to say that we are an under-taxed nation and are too damn happy, yes. Still off the record, I want to commend the former PM for understanding the concept that one can never truly own something physical and it is at the states pleasure one is allowed to say so. Now back to the budget. All I want to add to this topic is that we, your most loved and adored Government, will ensure your property is fully taxed despite promises of my predecessor. This tax will be designed so that you will wish you had opted to squat instead of purchase. First, the tax will be gentle and the same as you left it then it will rise to a point where instead of planning your little vacation to Mayaro, Tobago or Florida you will be planning to pay tax and more tax. This measure will ensure that there is enough money to maintain and exceed the current levels of skulduggery in government. Remember, what the well-off always says to the poor – Happiness is a state of mind not the pocket.

HIGH QUALITY JOBS

Mr. Speaker, do you know what a high quality job is? Well, Speaker of the House might be one even if you are not your own boss. However, in my books, a high quality job is one where one is paid quite a few million on leaving a top post at a financial institution only to pick up the one as Minister of Finance, another high quality job. But since most in this country will never be able to be so blessed, we have decided to use the term high quality jobs to define jobs that are not CEPEP. Any way, we created a few of these high quality jobs and if you have one of those then good luck with it. Wasn’t RBC retrenching people and creating high quality jobs? It’s all about the spin. I kid you not.

GASOLINE VEHICLES CONVERSION TO CNG

Mr. Speaker, this topic is now a long-standing joke and a good one at that. However, I think this latest attempt will be fruitful as billions of tax payers’ dollars are being spent on new company which will attract the right financial talent. Need I say more?

CRIME DOES PAY WELL

The problems witnessed in the recent upsurge in crime are created by those who have made deliberate life decisions to make a decent living by becoming high quality criminals. Crime, in this land of equal opportunity, is really a risk-free endeavor, unlike other activities like driving PH taxis or walking down the street. Fortunately for citizens we,on both sides of this house, know how profitable this life of crime can be and so as to reduce unemployment to lower levels than the current stated and boasted about low level, the government may offer potential criminals a greater incentive to branch out into other similar activities like politics. We intend to open up the field of crime to any citizen who show a passion for the art form of politics.

Mr. Speaker, the Government has continued to roll out its own CCTV network so as to appear as if it’s doing something to make our streets safer. What I can’t say in this speech is if this initiative is working, if the cameras are monitored by high quality people or even if they are connected to something. Crime is a profitable field as any contractor who was awarded contracts from the government knows. We will continue to make crime our top priority and crime contractors can rest assured their bread will continue to be generously buttered by the government using taxpayers’ dollars.

HOUSING FOR THE CHOSEN

This one is once again a no-brainer and that is why there is always a big in-fight as to who will get to be the Minister. But I digress needlessly. Mr. Speaker, this government is always concerned about votes and houses and the two go hand in hand. What I do want to say however is that this government will pay for most of your higher education but will not even lift a finger to ensure you, the middle income professional, can afford a house. To hell with those who expect the government to care about these couple thousand votes. Besides, there are big big people who will rent you a home in a crime hotspot for anywhere between $5000 to $8000 a month. That is the policy in a conch shell.

HEALTH AND DEATH

Mr. Speaker, most of us here will be healthier if we were to lose a few pounds, drink a four or five fewer, smoked a couple packs less and walk a little more. Our health policy should be revolving around providing crime-free green spaces for jogging, walking, and cycling instead of mouthing that nice politically sounding phrase – building new hospitals. But, in order to get votes we must give the people both their poison and their antidote. So, we aim to build more hospitals so that more citizens can get sick and seek medical attention at the same time. We will put aside plenty money for this initiative.

EDUCATION AND DANCING

In a nutshell, Mr. Speaker, the major education imitative of this Government can be summarized in one word, laptops. And not just laptops but laptops handed out by our astute leader so as to try to get votes. Mr. Speaker, though laptops are popular in the schools I am led to understand lap dances are nearly as popular these days.

TOURISM IN A FEW WORDS

Mr. Speaker, Trinidad and Tobago is a nice place and despite the street crime, traffic and floods that creep up on you like a thief in the night, we do expect tourist to flock to this country. Don’t ask me why cause I don’t know.

AGRICULTURE

Mr. Speaker, we propose to plant more in Trinidad and Guyana thus making no one happy. However, Mr. Speaker, once we find a way to make the select few party shareholders rich, we will allocate more funds to this so-called critical sector.

HIGHWAYS

Mr. Speaker, who elected Kublalsingh?

The END

Mr. Speaker, there should be much more to say but the same things are said every budget and like nearly all budgets of the past, these words are empty. I can’t stress how grateful I am to present this statement of wishes. Thank you and see you soon.

Despite hundreds of thousands of dollars from the usual sources pumped into the by-election campaign, the ruling party lost by a margin that makes huge look small. As the results started to come in just after eight last night, loud screams of pleasure could be heard throughout the country as it became apparent that Mr. Warner was beating the U.N.C along with their arrogance, vindictiveness and dignitaries to a proverbial pulp. Though the majority of citizens were not entitled to vote in the by-election they were satisfied that the people in power (PIP) was being taught the lesson they refused to learn over the last few years.

Article 2:

A very embarrassed and slightly tipsy P.M. has blamed her election loss on the the abundance of those flashing blue lights on her dignitaries’ Prados. She theorized that those blue lights had a negative effect on voters in the Chaguanas West constituency causing them to see green instead of yellow at the polling stations. She however thanked family and friends appointed in those select positions for all their loyal support. The P.M. was also high in praise for the party’s many loyal contractors for their donations which were used to prop up failing newspapers rather than feed the poor or buy blankets for the homeless. “Serve the contractors, serve the contractors, serve the contractors” she was heard to mutter in between sips.

aka_lol is an engineer by profession and by choice. As far as sports are concerned aka_lol supports the West Indies Cricket team - World Twenty20 Champions 2012.

Aka always says: "My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so" ~Charles J. Ingersoll~

aka quotes

Corruption is possibly nature’s way of leveling a playing field or building an airport. ~aka_lol

It is this continuous enrichment of the chosen minority which has angered all of us and if this blatant “thiefing” by the People’s Partnership is not stopped and remedied then the uneasiness will continue.~aka_lol

I hope this Government is able to understand what the writing on the wall is saying and it is not saying “thanks for all the box drains.” ~ aka_lol

The Police will not force the country to its knees even if it has the ability to do so on any morning they choose to go into self-service mode. ~aka_lol

Without condoms and common sense we don’t stand a chance ~ aka_lol

It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as ~aka_lol

The Queen is Coming, No More Flooding!! ~aka_lol

We are more entertained by Commissions of Enquiries than troubled by them ~aka_lol

...stupid people need to be restrained before the country slips into that septic tank of no return ~ aka_lol

We are a population that wants to stop fighting with our elected Government and selected President and start worrying about how much of the Heritage Fund will be used for conferences and bribes ~aka_lol

A sex tape is now like a cell phone, everybody has one and some even have one with each service provider ~ aka_lol

Small minds victimize a lot ~ aka_lol

There is only one thing which a man can stick his finger in that feels better than sticking it in election ink on Election Day ~ aka_lol

What ever the truth is, a Kindle price should always be lower than the hardcover price because that is what Kindle buyers have come to expect and enjoy ~aka_lol

"We ordering pork for those who don’t eat beef." I said. That was when the screaming started ~aka_lol~

Governments like to claim they are transparent but like some underwear, never transparent enough to please the man in the street ~aka_lol~

Governments govern people therefore people must govern governments ~aka_lol~

...the Bandits Association have nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that keeps their members happy and well fed ~aka_lol

About Engineers

An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant.
- An Arts graduate's view of engineers-

An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.
- Anonymous-

There are three possible roads to ruin - women, gambling and technology. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technology.
- Georges Pompidou -

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If
your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats. - Howard Aiken, IBM engineer -

copyright

aka_lol thinks it should be obvoius that the original content of this blog is copyrighted by the owner, aka:aka_lol and may not be reproduced without permission. The content not created by aka_lol belongs to its owners. Maybe you are wondering who in their right mind will ever want to copy anything from this blog. I am wondering that as well, but having the right mind isn't as common as you may think.

Cool Quotes

"He who believes in freedom of the will has never loved and never hated."

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Each religion, so dear to those whose life it sanctifies, and fulfilling so necessary a function in the society that has adopted it, necessarily contradicts every other religion, and probably contradicts itself.

"You can't disprove the theory of God. The power of science is uncertainty. Everything is uncertain, but science can define that uncertainty. That's why science makes progress and religion doesn't."

~Lawrence Krauss~

"O Lord, I want to thank you that I was born in the West and not some other God-forsaken place, and that I was able to become a Christian by default. I'm thankful that I don't have to think hard about what I believe. I can accept without a second thought everything that's fed to me, and that I can support the status quo with a clear conscience without interrupting my comfortable way of life. You've made me what I am today without any effort on my part. I haven't had to think, question or change a thing, and for that I'm truly grateful."

~David Hayward~

As people become more intelligent they care less for preachers and more for teachers

~Robert G. Ingersoll~

Whenever we teach our children that groundless faith is a virtue, we pave the way for groundless violence

~Carrie Poppy~

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

~Epicurus~

Nearly every American will know of more atheists at the end of 2011 than they do today, as coming out as an atheist becomes cool. Yes. Cool

~David Silverman~

I am proud to have been in a business that gives pleasure, creates beauty, and awakens our conscience, arouses compassion, and perhaps most importantly, gives millions a respite from our so violent world.

~Audrey Hepburn~

There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit us to give any of it away to imaginary beings.

~Friedrich Nietzsch~

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Mae West

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him

~Jeffrey Bernard~

When you think about it, our politicians do play god, in the sense that they're not believed in by the vast majority of the public any more, they haven't done anything demonstrably useful for absolutely ages, and they keep employing members of their own family in influential positions. I'm not saying Jesus wasn't the best man for the job, I'm just saying it would have been nice if there had been a little more transparency in the recruitment process.

~Andy Zaltzman~

Organised religion is most concerned with self-preservation

~Adam Rutherford~

It's not God I worry about. It's the self-important, pompous, power-seeking old fossils who claim to speak for him

~Anonymous~

Grief is the price we pay for love.

~Queen Elizabeth II~

The problem with religion, because it's been sheltered from criticism, is that it allows people to believe en masse what only idiots or lunatics could believe in isolation

~Sam Harris

What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance . . . Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or well educated.

~Sam Harris~

My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so.

~Charles J. Ingersoll~

There is no need for us to gather every day, or every seven days, or on any high and auspicious day, to proclaim our rectitude or to grovel and wallow in our unworthiness. We atheists do not require any priests, or any hierarchy above them, to police our doctrine.

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office

~ Covert Bailey~

Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that.

~Richard Dawkins~

Religion is ultimately dependent on belief in invisible beings, inaudible voices, intangible entities, undetectable forces, and events and judgements that happen after we die. It therefore has no reality check and it is therefore uniquely armored against criticism, questioning, and self-correction ~Greta Christina

I believe in the religion of reason - the gospel of this world; in the development of the mind, in the accumulation of intellectual wealth, to the end that man may free himself from superstitious fear, to the end that he may take advantage of the forces of nature to feed and clothe the world.

~Robert G. Ingersoll

Religion has nothing to do with morality, and is all about power fueled by superstition ~ Anonymous

The pleasure of hating, like a poisonous mineral, eats into the heart of religion, and turns it to rankling spleen and bigotry; it makes patriotism an excuse for carrying fire, pestilence, and famine into other lands: it leaves to virtue nothing but the spirit of censoriousness, and a narrow, jealous, inquisitorial watchfulness over the actions and motives of others. What have the different sects, creeds, doctrines in religion been but so many pretexts set up for men to wrangle, to quarrel, to tear one another in pieces about, like a target as a mark to shoot at?

~ William Hazlit – On the Pleasure of Hating

We have tried for over a thousand years, as a species, teaching people that killing people and holding others below yourself, and being indifferent to the suffering of others was wrong because God said so. I think we can firmly conclude that that strategy was a dismal failure. Instead, the zeal created by religious conviction has led people to hurt others in the name of God.

~ M. LeBlanc

If proselytisers had genuine faith they would at least tone down the proselytism. Surely the God they believe in has the power, hypothetically speaking, to move the hearts of unbelievers without their having to be argued, bribed, or bludgeoned into doctrinal submission first.

~ Barbara O'Brien

Inspired by the Pope's recent call to remember our country's Christian roots I was wondering which particular roots we should return to. Burning Protestants or hanging Roman Catholic priests? Requiring Dissenters to live 10 miles from the City of London, or Roman Catholics 5 miles? And if we decide to execute the Archbishop of Canterbury should we burn him like Cranmer or behead him like Laud?

~ Mark Francis

Coming out as an atheist can have serious real-world consequences. Parents get denied custody of their children for being atheists. People get harassed and vandalized by their neighbors for being atheists. Teachers get suspended for being atheists. Teenagers get harassed and suspended from school for being atheists. Politicians whip up anti-atheist fear to try to get elected. (And that’s just in the US. I’m not even talking about parts of the world where atheism is a crime, punishable by imprisonment or death.)

~ Greta Christina

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning

~ Bill Gates

Morality is not the monopoly of any faith: an atheist can be more ethical than a religious person. At the end of the day, what matters is that humans behave with consideration and decency, and avoid imposing their beliefs on others

~ Irfan Husain

The greatest intellectual framework that the human intellect has ever generated is the scientific method. On so many levels, it has freed us from the shackles of barbaric, divisive, and infantile superstition. Yet, all presidential candidates parade their faiths as though it were a virtue to believe in virgin births, burning bushes, and flying horses.

~Gad Saad

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

~Susan B. Anthony~

No opinion should be protected from criticism simply by virtue of being religiously held.

~Richard Dawkins~

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

~Bertrand Russell~

The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

~Douglas Adams~

The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.

~Mark Twain~

One can appreciate and treasure the symmetry and grandeur of the ancient Greek Parthenon without needing any share in the cults of Athena or Eleusis, or the imperatives of Athenian imperialism, just as one may listen to Mozart or admire Chartres and Durham without any nostalgia for feudalism, monarchism, and the sale of indulgences.

~Christopher Hitchens~

The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.

~Sam Harris~

We live, after all, in a world where illusions are sacred and truth profane.

~Tariq Ali

In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs.

~Sam Harris~

It is taboo in our society to criticize a persons religious faith... these taboos are offensive, deeply unreasonable, but worse than that, they are getting people killed. This is really my concern. My concern is that our religions, the diversity of our religious doctrines, is going to get us killed. I'm worried that our religious discourse- our religious beliefs are ultimately incompatible with civilization.

~Sam Harris~

The first step is to measure whatever can be easily measured. This is O.K. as far as it goes. The second step is to disregard that which can’t be measured or give it an arbitrary quantitative value. This is artificial and misleading. The third step is to presume that what can’t be measured easily isn’t very important. This is blindness. The fourth step is to say that what can’t easily be measured doesn’t really exist. This is suicide.

~Daniel Yankelovich

The universe is 13.7 billion years old, the Earth 4.6 billion. A mere 2,000 years ago, at a time of great ignorance and superstition, some Middle Eastern men wrote some books. With respect, does it never strike you as absurd to use them as proof of a benevolent and watchful God?

~Anon~

A truly liberal society guarantees the freedom of all religions, but it accepts the tyranny of none. People must be free to live without threat or fear. To say the things, write the words and live the lives they choose. Does that offend some people? Yes, of course. But the price of freedom is the risk of offence. And, for me, that price is always worth paying.

~Ming Campbell~

Religions are, by definition, metaphors after all: God is a dream, a hope, a woman, an ironist, a father, a city, a house of many rooms, a watchmaker who left his prize chronometer in the desert, someone who loves you - even, perhaps, against all evidence, a celestial being whose only interest is to make sure your football team, army, business, or marriage thrives, prospers and triumphs over all opposition.

~Neil Gaiman~

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

~George Carlin~

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

~Mark Twain~

O Lord our God, help us tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it...

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

~Alfred Hitchcock~

Since we are often told that god is ineffable and that it is impossible to know his mind it is quite astonishing the number of people that then proceed to tell you exactly what he thinks.

~Anon~

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.

~Bertrand Russell~

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

~Dan Rather~

There's an infinite number of things that some people at one time or another have believed in, and an infinite number of things that nobody has believed in. If there's not the slightest reason to believe in any of those things, why bother? The onus is on somebody who says, I want to believe in God, Flying Spaghetti Monster, fairies, or whatever it is. It is not up to us to disprove it.

~Richard Dawkins~

Religion attacks us in our deepest integrity by saying we wouldn't be able to make a moral decision without it, and that a supernatural dictatorship is our only hope. That makes us all into serfs.

~Christopher Hitchens~

Thinkers of the Enlightenment, a set of new intellectual attitudes that remade Western culture in the 17th and 18th centuries, set out to understand the world and themselves through reason rather than religion. Their ideas led to massive advances in science, economics and commerce, the arts and human liberty, which underpin our present prosperity and social freedoms.

~Ayaan Hirsi Ali~

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

~Bill Vaughan~

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.

~Charles Bukowski~

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.

~Herbert Agar~

When evidence conflicts with cherished beliefs, most people are happier to explain away even the most compelling data rather than abandon their beliefs.

~Richard Wiseman~

If morality comes from religion, why is it normal for chimpanzees, all tribal peoples and non-believers to feel empathy for others, to practice fairness, and to remain loyal to relatives and friends?

~Anthony Layng~

A strongly held belief does not automatically deserve respect ~ConversationalAtheist.com~

A reluctance to accept the importance of reason is easy to explain. To ignore reason is to avoid a sense of personal responsibility, which makes it easy to explain everything that you see in terms of the tenets of your 'faith', be it religious, political or economic in origin.

~Robert Hall~

Religious fundamentalisms are not only found in every region and religion, but they are also becoming increasingly visible at the international level in, for example, the international human rights system.

~Cassandra Balchin~

I am as firmly convinced that religions do harm as I am that they are untrue.

~Bertrand Russell~

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.

~John Maynard Keynes~

My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so.

~Charles J. Ingersoll~

History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.