Wanted nachos. Wanted spaghetti. Didn’t really have all the necessary fixins’ to make the mountain of nachos I was craving, so I settled for nachos spaghetti. I’m not sure why I keep putting an “s” at the end of nachos…should it be “nacho” spaghetti? I don’t know. This is why I have to work for a living.

If there was ever a moment in your life where you had to question whether or not you were indeed ‘fat as fuck’, eating one of these should clear that right the fuck up for you. This bad Larry will ensure you reach maximum man ‘tittery’ just in time for summer. You’ll be growing that potato sack-like pouch between your legs in fucking no time. What is that even? What do they call that? Its like a fat grundle/gooch/taint area. A fundle?. A fooch? A fat fucking taint? Whatever its called, this sandwich will give you a swollen patch between your arms and legs.

Here’s a little piece of shit recipe I’ve been trying to jerk off for a while. I chatted with my consultant, Nick, from DudeFoods only to find out he had tried to do this as well. I was fucking hellbent on having the spaghetti be sauced but it just wasn’t fucking going down. They way I ended up doing it ended up being easy as fuck. The only thing I would change is to season the shit out of the pasta next time. Happy Taco fuck you Tuesday.

The Pizzanini. Also known as the two shitty $0.99 pizzas from the dollar store with three $0.99 chicken parmesan meals from the dollar store, stuffed in a panini maker.

You can really go in any direction when you’re using two shit house pizzas as a vessel to transport food into your fat fucking mouth. I played around with the idea of a crummy frozen salisbury steak meal, but that was just a little too fucked up… even for me. Then I thought maybe one of those shitty fried chicken & mashed potato meals. I ended up settling on the chicken parmesan. Keep this shit Italian as fuck, or something.