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Glitter Bomb: Ship Your Enemies Glitter is Pure, Brilliant, Eviiilll

I have a ten-year-old daughter, which means roughly 97% of all the clothing in our home has glitter on it. I’m not sure if all the glitter that ends up on my skin is from the glittery clothing or if ten-year-old girls simply secrete the stuff. What I am sure of is that glitter is the spawn of Satan and will never come out of upholstery and you need a knife to cut it off your skin.

If you have someone you really hate, a new website has turned up that may be the most evil and brilliant invention in history. It’s called ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com. You won’t want to visit this site at work, unless you need to order something “nice” for your boss, because the f-bomb is used a lot.

Why ship your enemies glitter you ask? The website says it much better than I ever could: “First off, use your f*cking imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that f*ckface opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.”

You can send an anonymous glitter bomb to anyone you want for $9.99 AUD (~$8 USD) and they won’t know you sent it unless you tell them. Sadly, their website is currently overwhelmed with orders from sickos, but I suppose you could always just fill an envelope with the stuff, and leave off the return address.