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What a day! Spring is in the air…. It is BEAUTIFUL, Humid and GREEN! It is also “Trauma Season”. Last year when our social worker was talking to us, she said “Sweetie 4 has so many anniversaries for trauma, it is year round.” It is true that Sweetie 4 has endured so much hardship in her life, and there are… (more…)

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Grief Revisited Originally written April 2014 Grief is a process that sometimes comes in waves. You will be doing just fine and then it hits you once again. You had a tragedy in your family long ago, or more recently. Suddenly, grief is upon you and the emotions are there once again because there is something new to process and… (more…)

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A Picture of Grace Based Parenting Part 1 Originally written April 2013 Miss Sweetie 4 has been doing so awesome…. Every time, when it has been a long time since any kind of meltdown or disobedience, I forget that she is still very newly home. When I am reminded, like last night, I run the equation in my head. She… (more…)

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On more than one occasion we have decided to watch a movie and Sweetie 4 has reacted by saying, “No! I saw that in my old family and I hated it!” We have worked through this several times over the last 3 years and she has finally figured out that she didn’t like the movies because she didn’t understand English… (more…)

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Thoughts About …..Correction That Connects Originally written June 2012 Our children’s beginnings… Tonight, we covered “The Connected Child” chapter 2 at our support group. I could barely get through this chapter without weeping. Reading it once again reminded me of how NEGLECTED our children were, before they came home. 🙁 But I was also reminded of the FOUR MIRACLES that… (more…)

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The Internal Clock Visits Again Originally written August 2012 I wrote a post called “The Unseen Clock” last year. It was around this time last year that Sweetie 4 was having some behaviors that caused me to believe something else was going on; and it was about how we talked about it. I have written before in older posts about… (more…)

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Turning a Failure Into A Success! OR The Bathroom Floor SAGA…. originally written February 2013 It was just today that I read part of a devotional by Sally Clarkson where she talked about praying in her room, spending time with the Lord and then came out to see her boys having a pillow fight by some precious keepsakes. She asked,… (more…)

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Being that bridge to get to the other side is vital! Parenting children is just the most blessed thing! It is blessed and trying and fun and eventful all rolled into one. For those parenting the average child, born into your home through love, it is challenging and joyful. For those parenting the child who comes into your home through… (more…)

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Today was an interesting day. We started out just fine with a normal morning devotion, breakfast and getting ready for school. This is the day the girls go and train dogs for the afternoon. They are learning how to train Diabetes dogs, drug sniffing dogs, and seeing eye dogs. It is a great experience for them, and quite enjoyable. I… (more…)

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God Answers Our Prayers According To HIS Will Originally Written March 20, 2011 I have been reflecting on the last 3 weeks….. (it will be 3 weeks on Tuesday since we got the Call for Sweetie 4) But the truth is, we got the “Call” for Sweetie 4 last November. We felt then, that it was part of God’s plan… (more…)

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How Do You Pick Up the Pieces? originally written March 23, 2011 How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered life? Where do you begin? Where do you start? At what point, will she feel settled? At what point will we not have to say, “I have to get you one too, or I will need to order… (more…)

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Our last smoker lasted 15 years. I think that was pretty good! But it is beyond repair now and it was time to get a new smoker. 🙂 Sweetie 4 loves to help daddy. She loves getting involved in putting things together and Daddy loves to work with her. It is an opportunity for him to build relationship with her.… (more…)

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Teaching Empathy Updated originally written in 2008… then updated in 2011. I was going over some notes that I had written about our earlier years with the girls, before Sweetie 4 came home. I forgot that I had already blogged about teaching Empathy. So, instead of re writing it, I wanted to add to it and update it. Teaching… (more…)

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As I just wrote earlier, our 3 year anniversary has passed for Sweetie 4, and we celebrated. It seems that all 4 of our sweeties have moved into a stride of love, acceptance and security. I have dreamed of this day coming again…. where all just felt “right”. Before Sweetie 4 had come home, we were in a good place… (more…)

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The Test The other day, Sweetie 1 told me about getting a 90% on her geography test. She had no idea how that was possible. Yesterday, she got her test back and saw clearly the grade was a mistake! Today, on her own accord, she went in to her teacher’s class early and showed him the mistake. His response: “Why… (more…)

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Yep…. You read it right. There is fingernail polish on the couch; the one we haven’t even finished paying for couch. Right now, I’m going to do research to see how to remove it carefully. But honestly, I’m afraid to try. I don’t want to make it worse. The good news is, we didn’t get angry. Kids are more important… (more…)

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Memories Originally Written September 2011 I wrote earlier this month about “The Unseen Clock“. I am going to extrapolate a little more on this issue as it is relevant in our family right now. 🙂 I just want to say, I am learning so much right now about trusting in my Lord. I have been called again and again to… (more…)

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THE UNSEEN CLOCK Originally written August 2011 when Sweetie 4 had been home just 5 months. We have had such a smooth couple of weeks. Really…. everything has been surprisingly smooth! In fact, yesterday when we went to the Library, Sweetie 4 was so cute because she was wanting me to look at each book to make sure it was… (more…)

The Great Chain Breaker originally written in December 2008 Update following article…. I remember long ago reading about abuse, alcoholism, and any other ism you want to think of. Psychologists and psychiatrists said, these things run in families, they are disorders, they run in cycles; chances are, if you were abused, you will abuse, if your parents were alcoholics, you… (more…)

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What if I were to tell you that a certain sweetie spent her first 4 years rocking back and forth in a crib; neglected, hungry, alone? What if I were to tell you that in her home country, it was not unusual for parents who have children with special needs to leave them at the hospital? What if I were… (more…)

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all! I just wanted to say that our Sweetie 4 went ON HER OWN to help with a special meal for 8 lovely couples. One of those lovely couples, (us) didn’t get to make it because Mike was sick. She went anyway! I am so proud of her. She had a wonderful time and didn’t get… (more…)

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Hopeful faces desiring a family: Little ones just wanting a mama and a papa: Our little one… Sweetie 3, Shouting “Bye Bye Ukraine” at the top of her lungs! 🙂 When we adopt a child and bring them into our homes and lives, it is so very important to remember that they have had a life before us. They have… (more…)

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Those Puzzling, Traumautic, Stressful, Dramas….. that can happen can challenge us to our knees in prayer. They are the hidden blessings in our lives that drive us to reach beyond ourselves and remind us that God is in control; and He LOVES us, no matter what. He never, EVER EVER gives up on us; never EVER, and is our example… (more…)

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MEETING OUR CHILDREN’S MULTI LEVEL NEEDS or High Control is Not the Answer Originally written in July 2011 I could not think of a title for this post, so it may change…..:) I was having a conversation with another adoptive parent regarding emotional ages of our children vs. actual age, or intellectual age. I also read a few notes on… (more…)

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I wrote in July 2011 about our Sweetie 4’s play habits, here. It has been almost 3 years and I’d like to give an update about this area of her development. There is a huge difference in her since she came home, of course. She has grown up quite a bit. She just turned 14, and much of her time… (more…)

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When Older Acts Younger Originally written July 2011 We are going through the crazy play that much littler kids go through. It is the typical tornado type play of much younger children when they are having GREAT fun, without the knowledge of destruction that they leave behind….. Today, I followed a path of mud pies, cups left with water, a… (more…)

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PARENTING ….. (originally written July 2011) One of the great things about being a parent; you never quit learning. I have been learning to be a better parent for 32 plus years now, and I’m still learning. 🙂 There is always a way to improve, because there are always ways to fail! Why are there always ways to fail? Because… (more…)

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Three years ago at this time, Sweetie 4 was laying in bed at night hearing loud fighting. The people who were supposed to care for her were fighting over her. One wanted to keep her, the other didn’t. Attorneys were involved, an agency involved, social workers, (all of which she had no idea about) She also didn’t know that we… (more…)

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I know many folks who DO adopt out of birth order and they are fine. Technically, we too adopted out of birth order since Sweetie 3 was 5 months older than Sweetie 1 and 1 year older than sweetie 2. When we are talking about a year, or months, it is more like having twins or triplets. There are 17… (more…)