Question

Worried about friends sons' development....

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Hello....I babysit three 3 year old boys, all turned 3 within 5 months of each other. My friends 3 year old is SO different from the other boys I watch and I'm a little concerned. I KNOW all kids are different and reach milestones at different times but he seems so behind. He is no where near potty trained...even if he poops in his diaper, he just sits in it and doesn't seem to care and doesn't tell anyone. No one, including his parents, can understand him. Maybe 25% of what he says is understandable. He can barely eat himself. Anything he tries to eat on his own ends up on him and the floor. I've seen many times his mom feeding him ... like she never lets him try to eat for himself. He is also very pigeon toed and falls constantly. When he gets upset, he flaps his arms and whines like a one year old would do. I'm not sure if something is going on with him....I'm not a doctor but he seems delayed. I'm not sure if I should say anything to his mom...? What do you think? TIA!

Mom Answers

Wow !Sounds very similar to my situaion, but I am the mom. my daughter is ver hard to understand, she cries alot. She still wears daiper and she is in no rush to potty train. She is very delayed. We just started our journey into trying to find out what and why she is behind. AS a prent, its hard for you to realize that naybe something is wrong. Yourfriend will get there, when she sees that her child interacts differenttly with other kids. I wish he luck.

Yikes that's tough! First, I personally would not say anything. If you are noticing an obvious difference I'll bet the mom is too. It could be that she is struggling with what to do or that he is already getting some sort of intervention that she isn't sharing with anyone. I had a similar concern about a friends child and I figured the best thing I could do was answer honestly if she asked my advice and otherwise just love her kid:) Also, at that age 5 months may not seem like a big difference but it can be. If your son is 5 months older and is advanced and this kid is 3 months younder and a bit delayed it may seem like a bigger difference than it really is, ya know? Good luck!
OH-I just realized that you babysit these boys...in that case i think it's more approproate to say something. Even if it's just a referral for screening services. Many 3's in Pre-k get hearing/vision/speech screening maybe you could recommend a program to her?

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