8 lessons Conservatives taught us about the true meaning of Christmas

So, of course, they must know a thing or two about the true meaning of Christmas, right? Of course!

Here are eight lessons Conservatives taught us about the true meaning of Christmas from Conservative Christmases past:

1. It is not your responsibility to feed a hungry child

"Is it my job to feed my neighbour's child?" once asked former Industry Minister James Moore.

"I don't think so."

Moore's comments, coming only a week before Christmas 2013, echoed similar lessons about the true meaning of Christmas you might find in a Charles Dickens novel.

2. If you ignore the plight of the poor, you don't have to worry about it

Last December, former Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq was asked tough questions in the House of Commons about reports people in her riding had been forced to sift through a local landfill in search of food.

3. Never ever question the citizenship of Santa Claus

"I will of course do my best to stand up for Santa Claus each and every day in this House, that includes in question period. He is a Canadian citizen, and we will defend him all the way to the United Nations when we make our claim for the North Pole. I am proud of that."

"I ask the Liberal Party to join with us in protecting the citizenship of Santa Claus."

But after losing the election, Calandra seemed to concede the Conservatives may have had a double-standard in how vigorously they defended the the rights of Canadian citizens who are real human beings, as opposed to, say, mythological elves.

"No matter whether you light the menorah, trim the tree or setup the Festivus Pole, your holiday activities likely have a connection to a lump of coal mined right here in British Columbia," reads the 100% real press release.

5. Jesus was in favour of tough on crime penalties and draconian surveillance measures