Concerning friendzone shenanigans: Yeah, it's a shitty concept that come from stupid sexist assumptions on men's part. But it's understandable (not that it should be tolerated, but it's understandable enough as to not condemn the person carrying the huge "FRIENDZONED" banner to lifelong exile in Whiny Douchebag Country) when it comes from the kind of shy, lonely, angry teenagers and young men that it usually comes from.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that... Don't be so hard on the guys who think the "friendzone" exists. Much more frequently it is understanding and a good talk that puts people on the right track, not "making people suffer until they change their ways". Inflicting great suffering on many people (me included) is just an easy way to "break" them and force them into weird places (mentally) where they refuse to accept a lot of themselves.

They may change through suffering, but they will be changing through the infliction of mental trauma.

Stop making excuses for shit behavior. Stop making excuses for shit attitudes. Stop making excuses for whiny douchebags acting like whiny douchebags._________________

it's not like anyone is suggesting we hunt down everyone who ever thought they were "put in the friendzone" and throw them into gulags. but if you feel all miserable because you think your female friend in whom you were interested has wronged you by not reciprocating your interest, well, all that misery is your fault and it's a sign that you need to grow up.

it's like saying that we shouldn't be too hard on people who get all pissy when they don't get the expensive electronics they demanded for Christmas. nobody feels particularly inclined towards sympathy for that. why should the "friend zone" be any different? they both come from the same sense of entitlement.

and it's also why i distinguished between being bummed because someone you like didn't reciprocate, and feeling wronged because you think you were entitled to reciprocation. nobody here is saying that the former is wrong. but that's not really what the "friendzone" meme is all about.

And lets rephrase this thing about guest. Guest doesn't defend child pornography, he defends incredibly borderline images of underage kids, which paedophiles use to network with people of similar interests and exchange hardcore child pornography. All while creating a "community" that does not view the situation as wrong in any way.

It's not equal, men are far more likely to be attracted to their female friends.

Obviously there are exceptions. I had a crush on a guy friend for a long time, and it made me awfully sad that he didn't like me. But it's not like I was going to stop being friends with him because I somehow felt like I was entitled to date him -- after all, I became fond of him in the first place because of his positive qualities.

Personally as a female who frequently gets the 'I just want to be friends' line. I'm more relieved that I don't have to go through all that effort just to be able to hang out with a dude socially. I'd RATHER be in the friendzone. I'm a massive cuddle whore but anything beyond that is just vastly disinteresting to me. One of my best and longest lasting friendships was with a dude who gave me the brush off date-wise.

What the hell? I know people don't consider friendzoning a cock block do they?

People for years have been ignored by people they like and want to date but that friend of theirs refuses to look at them any differently. They watch their friend date horrible people or people who use them for sex and they stand by their side none the less. They want to go further with their relationship and say "I love you" but apparently those 3 words are forbidden in the friend zone.

and it's also why i distinguished between being bummed because someone you like didn't reciprocate, and feeling wronged because you think you were entitled to reciprocation. nobody here is saying that the former is wrong. but that's not really what the "friendzone" meme is all about.

OK then, that's my mistake: I thought "friendzoning" was indeed the former. This is why the talk of entitlement/manipulation/etc put me on edge so much._________________

mouse wrote:

almost a shame to waste dennis' talent on him.
except it's always a pleasure to see a good dennis insult.

And lets rephrase this thing about guest. Guest doesn't defend child pornography, he defends incredibly borderline images of underage kids, which paedophiles use to network with people of similar interests and exchange hardcore child pornography. All while creating a "community" that does not view the situation as wrong in any way.

Because free speech.

It's still funny that you find free speech so horrible, and you're an American. Irony.

It's still funny that you find free speech so horrible, and you're an American. Irony.

Irony is you thinking that my belief that societal censure is in fact a normal and healthy part of society, is at all the same thing as silencing free speech. I get that at your age it's a lot easier to see everything in terms of black and white but in the real world that we have to live in there are about fifty billion shades between the two. Ergo, reddit getting hounded by their users and the public for harboring a den of child pornography, and blindly defending it until they realized that oh hey...yeah theres actually some child porn here, and dealt with it in the most half assed way possible is not at all the same as government censure of the media and laws against criticizing religion x or government y. You would have to be a fucking simpleton to believe that, in the same way that you'd have to be a fucking simpleton to believe that the first example is just the first step down a slippery slope to the second.

Edit2: I guess that's not really ironic....just more Guest being Guest._________________

Stop making excuses for shit behavior. Stop making excuses for shit attitudes. Stop making excuses for whiny douchebags acting like whiny douchebags.

I don't believe I was making excuses. I would be making excuses if I said they had the right to act that way based on the circumstances. They don't. I'm just saying that trying to torment people who act entitled into stopping is stupid and will not lead to anything good.

ShadowCell wrote:

if you feel all miserable because you think your female friend in whom you were interested has wronged you by not reciprocating your interest, well, all that misery is your fault and it's a sign that you need to grow up.

Ergo, reddit getting hounded by their users and the public for harboring a den of child pornography, and blindly defending it until they realized that oh hey...yeah theres actually some child porn here, and dealt with it in the most half assed way possible is not at all the same as government censure of the media and laws against criticizing religion x or government y.

reddit doesn't really care about freedom of speech anyways. like most people, they only care about freedom of speech for themselves. when it comes to freedom of speech for other people, they blacklist Gawker for this article because Gawker only gets to use its freedom of speech on reddit if reddit approves.

then again, hounding reddit for knowingly harboring criminal content is itself an exercise of freedom of speech. and yet if your theory of free speech allows people to speak but does not allow their speech to have consequences (such as, speaking that you think reddit should stop harboring kiddie porn, which compels reddit to stop harboring kiddie porn), then free speech is just meaningless squawking and one must wonder why you are protecting it.

If their behavior actually didn't affect people other than themselves we wouldn't even be aware of it would we?

That is kind of what I was talking about. Being a 16 year old kid angsting because every girl he meets thinks he's just the greatest but "just doesn't think about him that way" is neither a new thing nor a crime. Whining that "you should love me because I love you!" is childish, privileged behavior and should be discouraged by one's friends and anyone else if necessary.

The point about entitlement is a good one -- no one is "entitled" to any one person being attracted to them. That's absurd. But the whole "friendzone" thing does make one wonder if we are all entitled in a general sense to romantic love at some point in our lives. I think that's an interesting question, at least if you believe in concepts like destiny.

Quote:

And no, I pulled the "Superior knowledge of the posting history and habits of one sinfest poster by the forum handle of Guest" card. Its the one where the forum does not exist in a vacuum where nothing happens beyond your fairly narrow realm of experience here, and people are aware of others posting history.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with you and that guy, but I'm not him, so chill the fuck out.