The author is a Forbes contributor. The opinions expressed are those of the writer.

Loading ...

Loading ...

This story appears in the {{article.article.magazine.pretty_date}} issue of {{article.article.magazine.pubName}}. Subscribe

For each of the eager beavers out there who seize upon any opportunity to remind the higher-ups of their existence, there are handfuls of fearful employees doing whatever they can to avoid unwanted attention or judgement from management.

If you fall in this category, you’ve probably mastered the art of always appearing busy as a mechanism to avoid conversation, memorized your boss’ schedule so you can avoid run-ins, and learned the straight-and-narrow approach to completing tasks in a way that doesn’t raise eyebrows or warrant the most dreaded experience of all: being called into the boss’ office.

Why are so many of us fearful of our employers? Is the modern workplace really dominated by Machiavellian tyrants?

Probably not. Data shows that any given boss’ personality might be irrelevant to these anxieties. In fact, as many as one in four people fear being yelled at by their superior, regardless of his or her past behavior.

But unfortunately, the fear is real. It’s uncomfortable, and it often hinders thecreative risk-taking that can help both you and your employer get ahead.

A client once told me that, for years, she would agonize every time she rambled in a meeting or misspoke on a conference call. After meeting her husband, the CEO of a telecommunications firm, she realized that the problem was universal. “He would come home from work worrying about a comment he made to an investor or whether he’d misjudged a big decision. His fears were never about his employees’ minor screw-ups—they were about his bosses.”

Think about it: You aren’t losing sleep over the mistakes the intern made today, are you? It’s the same way with your boss. He or she is often more focused on big projects than on your missteps.

You can’t change that which you don’t acknowledge. For this reason, it’s crucial that you check in and pay attention to your fear-based thoughts. Be honest with yourself: Is the fear that you feel toward your boss based on some other work or life experience deep in your past? Is it really about this particular person?

In many cases, this fear has little to do with your boss. For example, a client recently told me that her biggest workplace fear is getting fired. This fear influenced many of her interactions in the workplace, particularly by deterring her from speaking up when there was an issue that demanded a conversation with her supervisor. “There was an occasion where I was being bullied by a colleague,” she explained to me, “and as much as I knew it should be addressed, I ultimately decided to keep it to myself due to my extreme fear of being fired.”

After speaking further, the true source of her fear became obvious: Her father was laid off during the recession, and her parents divorced shortly thereafter. I watched tears fall down as she spoke of a time when her father lost his job, and the stress was seemingly a catalyst for her parents’ eventual divorce.

Who wouldn’t carry this fear on after that? And that’s exactly why it’s so important that we get to the root of it. One creative way to do this is through writing. Make a list of your fears and what they might be telling you. Give them a voice. You’ll likely learn a lot—and maybe even find that they aren’t so scary after all.