Sidriel

[Out Of Character]

This is a roleplaying page for my character Sidriel. This is not a real person!

Given recent events on Twitter with people being tagged as posting inappropriate material simply because they responded to one of Sid’s threads on BDSM, I’ll be toning back his public posts. However, those discussions were one of my favorite parts of playing that character; so please feel free to reach out to him via DM with any questions or comments you might have!

[In Character]

Hello! I hope you came here because you’d like to engage in a discussion about the topics I tend to post about. I know the topics of Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/Masochism (collectively known as BDSM) can be difficult for some to understand and even more difficult to ask about.

First, I wanted to state, I’m by far not the be-all end-all know-it-all of this topic. There is a wide range of personal activities that fall under this umbrella. I’m not going to even attempt to cover them all. In fact, this primer might only spawn more questions. I’m just going to offer some definitions as I see them.

Please feel free to engage me with questions via DM’s if you’re uncomfortable with the topic in public Twitter. I am more than happy to answer honest inquiries. If you just want to express your personal moral judgement, you can save yourself the time because I won’t be listening.

CONSENT

What I am discussing here is something that occurs between consenting adults. If one (or more) of the people involved is being forced into it, that is no longer playing and has passed into abuse. While you will hear topics like master and slave or people being beaten with canes and whips, in this case we are only discussing scenarios where all the parties involved want this to occur.

Bondage and Discipline

I practice an eastern form of bondage known as Shibari. Shibari uses natural fiber ropes rather than the leather and metal paraphernalia that you might be used to seeing in the western styles. Bondage is about restricting the movement of the subject. Bondage in and of itself does not necessarily mean any pain is involved. The subject (also known as the submissive) enjoys the feeling of trust they are placing in their partner and in the restrictions placed upon them by the binds.

Discipline is an additional aspect of this sort of restriction. It has to do with the submissive feeling as if they are being punished for something they’ve done. This may have arisen from a situation in a Dom/sub play or it may be simply a part of the scene the two are playing at the time. It can include activities (see the S&M below). Or it may be simply being forced to wear an uncomfortable binding for a period of time in a humiliating way.

Dominance (and submission)

Dominance and submission is about a transfer of power. In this type of play, the Dominant (Dom) is placed in a position of power and authority over the submissive (sub). Note that this entire play does not need to include either bondage nor pain. When playing in this manner the Dom will often order the sub to perform certain duties or tasks. Depending on the guidelines that the D/s pair have reached, failure to comply will likely result in consequences which may feed into either B/D or S/M activities.

Sadism and Masochism

The sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain on others while the masochist enjoys having pain inflicted on them. In terms of what we’re talking here, the sadist most likely only finds pleasure in it as long as they are working with a willing subject. Likewise the masochist is expected to enjoy receiving the pain because they know and trust their partner to stay within the limits they’ve agreed to.

Why?

The most common question I receive is why someone would participate in these activities. Particularly they’re curious about the submissive and why someone would subject themselves to this. The answers are as varied as the people who practice, but there are some commonalities. Typically the sub enjoys giving control to someone else. Often the person in the sub role is someone who is very much in control in the rest of their life. Having a chance to release the feeling of being “always on top of everything” is a way of relaxing for them.

Those who enjoy pain often find that it allows them the freedom to express emotions that they can’t release any other way. I’ve had some wonderful connections as I held a partner as she finally felt free to cry about the emotional pains she’d been repressing.

What About Me?

I get my enjoyment from meeting the needs of my partners. As such, I’m more comfortable with the Dom role than the sub one. That’s right. I see the Dominant role as serving the needs of my submissives. I don’t describe myself as a sadist because without my submissive’s cries of pleasure, I wouldn’t enjoy hurting anyone. I have participated in many aspects of these activities. Sometimes I know my partners for a single evening. Sometimes I have known them for years.

Also, sorry gentlemen, but I find that I connect better with female partners.

If you have questions for me about the nature of these activities or specific questions for me, please feel free to reach out to me via Direct Message on Twitter (@sidrielfell).