Are you for or against spanking kids ?.

So you agree that som kids are "jus-bad" kids.!!!
Well i guess that proves it sinse you both got the esact same lecture... that you was borned good an you'r brother was borned bad.!!!
Yep... sinse you got the sam esact lecture about drugs... that proves you both was raized esactly the sam way in all ways an you'r brother is a self-made stinker.!!!
O my God... so mayb you'r brother ant a bad seed after all... mayb he actualy had diferent life esperiences than you did growin up... diferent friends than you did... an whether you'r willin to acknowledge it or not... he coud have also been raized jus slightly diferent enuff than you that caused him to hang wit mor of the "rong" type people than you did.!!!

But anyhow... you'r now suggestin that you'r brother wasnt borned bad but was influenced to be bad by others... well thats a good pont... but in mos cases the biggest influience any of us have is from our parents... an i "blame" almos everthang about me on my parents... diference is... i like the job they did... an som people say my parents was bad for lettin me quit school at 15... an of course i woudnt havae quit shcool if they had thout educaton was mor importent an encouraged me to graduate... but i dont hold that agans my parents... i very well understan thats jus the way it was aroun 45 years ago in the little Kentuky town i grew up in... an over all... i know i was very "lucky" to have the grate parents i had... an i get lots of chuckles when i see obvously screwed parents not wantin to take responsibiity when ther kids turn out to be little shts... lol.!!!

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I didn't say my brother was a bad kid. I said that we should be responsible for the choices we make in life. I mean if you want to blame the blame game, you can't say it's the parents fault they were bad parents, it's their parents fault for making them that way, but it's their grandparents fault for making their children that way... and so on and so forth. If you don't believe in free will that's fine, but that stuff only flies in philosophy. If I choose to move my chair across the room or change my shirt, I don't see that choice being something my parents forced upon me, it's a decision I would've made. No one can make you do anything. We make our own choices in life and then we not our parents have to deal with the immediate consequences. And personally I think that's fair.

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I say "I'm gonna spank you!" or "I'm a-hankering for a spankering!" to my five year old all the time, as a joke. She laughs when I say it, and has no fear that I'll actually spank her. Time out on the chair or sitting on the floor is still very effective.

I mean if you want to blame the blame game, you can't say it's the parents fault they were bad parents, it's their parents fault for making them that way, but it's their grandparents fault for making their children that way... and so on and so forth.

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Well you do "get" the general concept of cause an effect.!!!

If you don't believe in free will that's fine, but that stuff only flies in philosophy.

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I dont have "beleifs" in anythang... an i dont see any verifible evidence for "free-will"... but even you admit to cause an effect wit you'r blame-game esample wit kids/parents/granparents... so i dare say that even in you'r life you will admit that cause an effect is a major factor in you'r behavior/actons.!!!

The idea of "free-will" ant only relevent in phillosophical discussons... because of a lack of "free-will... i realize that no one deserves punishment... an O my... all the energy i dont waste on hate an blame.!!!

Several mounthes ago i was aroun som church people an this little 2 ? year old girl was runnin an hollerin after a little dinner we had... an the gran-maw of that little girl said... shes mean... what she needs is a good "But-whoopin"... Jesus Christ... what the little girl needed was a less ignerent gran-mom... the child was a little loud but a joy... an wit a little bit of lovin guidence she woud no dout listen an mind beter.!!!

Well, there was the time my daughter unbuckled her safety seat so she could turn around and look out the back window. We were in traffic and she got a nice sharp lecture that included the promise of a spank if she ever did that again. Since we don't spank, she's been careful not to make it happen.

*shudders, dreading the day Stinkerbell looks firmly and says "No! Screw you, man!" or whatever the kids will be saying.*

*shudders, dreading the day Stinkerbell looks firmly and says "No! Screw you, man!" or whatever the kids will be saying.*

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I dont thank thats inevitable at all... my parents never spanked... put me in time out (wasnt invented yet?)... took away my stuff or even hollerd at me... i loved an respected 'em... an sure i woud still screw-up an push my limits... but it never even crossed my mind to holler at 'em much less to say "screw-you".!!!

I dont have "beleifs" in anythang... an i dont see any verifible evidence for "free-will"... but even you admit to cause an effect wit you'r blame-game esample wit kids/parents/granparents... so i dare say that even in you'r life you will admit that cause an effect is a major factor in you'r behavior/actons.!!!

The idea of "free-will" ant only relevent in phillosophical discussons... because of a lack of "free-will... i realize that no one deserves punishment... an O my... all the energy i dont waste on hate an blame.!!!

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I thought you said our parents are responsible for our choices, since it's their fault for raising us that way. Blaming something I do on my Great great great grandparents, just seems completely stupid to me.

I thought you said our parents are responsible for our choices, since it's their fault for raising us that way. Blaming something I do on my Great great great grandparents, just seems completely stupid to me.

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As you seemed to understan an ponted out earlier... the blame-game is pontless (an ignerent)... but reguardless... we are a product of our influences... an the gratest influences we have is from our parents genes an the enviroment our parents provide.!!!

It seems that many parents dont "get-it" that they bare responsibility for ther kids bein "bad"... like parents who say... "i have no idea why little Susy is so disrespectful... after all... i give her almos everthang she wants.!!!

Religion has trumped the thinking processes of mankind for centuries. Perhaps that is where greed and selfishness originated.

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utter crap. Are you seriously saying that greed and selfishness originated from religion??? First of all, how can you put all religions in the same box? They are not all the same! Come on man. I assume when you talk about religion, you mean Christianity. Cause that's what most people (in their ignorance) are referring to. Do you know anything about Christianity?? Clearly not, because even a very basic level of knowledge about Christianity would lead you to realize greed and selfishness are thoroughly condemned in the Bible. The perils of greed and selfishness are repeatedly taught. Same in Islam, Buddhism, Jewdaism and so on and so forth... The only religion that I can think of that would promote it is Satanism!

Greed and selfishness are things we are all capable of, and can not be blamed on any religion. call it human nature if you will..

I am very disturbed by the news of an 11 years old girl who was abducted and had 2 girls with her abductor . She was found alive after 18 years . Kids must be street proofing as there are some crazy pedophiles walking the streets . Also the number of missing children is huge every year . It is absolutely sickening to see any child abducted or hurt in such a manner .

Just to repeat, people who don't know how to apply corporal punishment correctly should not use it. The thing is, the kind of person who knows how to use it correctly generally won't ever need it. Children see a loss of temper as a sign of mental weakness, and they are well within their rights to ridicule you for it. Always maintain your self-control, especially if you need to get your children under control. A purple-faced fool is silly, not intimidating.

You are making a mistake. I am not a big defender of corporal punishment. I was exposed to it myself, and it turned me schizoid. I was speaking from my experiences with dogs, which I acknowledge as simpler and easier "children" to raise than human children. The only times I've found it productive to strike a dog is during play exercise. During play exercise, the animal can get very drunk on her own overexcitement, so she needs help staying focused and on-task. A tap on the side of the animal's muzzle is generally all that is necessary, but sometimes she needs a light slap to shake her out of it. You are getting the animal's attention, not trying to apply punishment; the idea is to jar slightly, not cause pain. From my long experiences with dogs, no other application of striking should ever be used. Otherwise, the animal will bite you, and you will deserve it. I have the scars to prove it. However, I have found that, when the animal already looks penitent, a very mild rap on the beak with your knuckles can serve as an accent, but this isn't intended to cause pain either. Again, it's a kind of simple communication that the animal understands well without the presence of pain.

I imagine the same principles would apply to children. When playing with them, you may guide them using taps and nudges. This isn't punishment, but it's a form of physical communication. If the child breaks something and looks penitent for the act, it is sometimes appropriate to dismiss the child to his quarters using a firm nudge, so the child understands that his emotion on this occasion is an appropriate one. Again, the child's own emotions of guilt are delivering the punishment, and any physical treatment should serve as an accent and not a punishment in itself. If the child isn't feeling guilty, then perhaps it's time to reconsider your overall strategy.

I know dogs are not quite the same as children, and I certainly wouldn't consider myself prepared to raise a child just because I do well with canids. That's not really the point. I am pretty sure that most of the same principles apply, though, and I've had good and bad experiences with dealing with animals. Dogs certainly don't raise themselves unless you're the sort of person who leaves them chained up out in the yard, and I don't understand how a person could be so cruel. It's not that much work to clean poops off the bottom of your shower, after all, and you have to perform the same service by law, nowadays, when you take them out for walks. If you can't be with them all the time, then at least leave them with a television playing, and make sure they have plenty of toys. By that, I mean good ones, too, and not just simple chew toys. It doesn't cost that much to get a ball-launcher that a dog can use, and they will play with it on occasion when you're not there. They're highly intelligent animals, after all, and they enjoy being mentally stimulated in simple ways. In any case, I'm not a fool. I know that children can get into much more trouble than an animal can because they are so much more intelligent. I also understand that young children need a lot more work to educate them well enough to survive out in the real world. They're not the same exact kind of animal, true, but I think some principles are so universal that it doesn't matter that they are different species. The last dog I helped raise, though, is the only dog I've ever seen who knows how to smile and use other facial expressions, which others have remarked on with some astonishment, and I think that's because the work I put into her paid off. I've known humans who are less expressive. I don't have any experience with human children, but I do know that an animal with any intelligence knows if you are full of shit, even if it's "just a dog."

For those who insist on using corporal punishment, which I maintain shouldn't be necessary, take it from a person who has been on both ends of it: you should never ever apply this form of discipline if you are not absolutely sure that the child believes it is justified. If you are not sure, then, god damn it, ask. It's not going to work if the child does not believe it's valid. An unjust or unfair parent will be hated, not loved or respected. And it's really the injustice that a child will hate you for, not the pain itself. What a child wants most out of you is justice and fairness.