A friend of mines mother was a cardiac icu nurse. She said shiat like this happened A LOT. She said the easiest way to deal with it was to say, in a bored voice: "put it away I've got bigger at home" or to laugh and say "that's it? I'm surprised you'd show something that small". She said almost without fail it stopped them immediately. Apparently it happens a lot, especially with old men.

I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.//dude's totes cray-cray

glmorrs1:I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.//dude's totes cray-cray

glmorrs1:I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.//dude's totes cray-cray

Read "What I've learned from my patients" It's considered a slow day if they only get one of these guys in the local ER./DocER on that forum is the attending at a Las Vegas ER. He sees a lot worse than this.

haolegirl:x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.

Sorry, I work at a pet clinic. Just had a 12 week old lab humping my arm last week...happens a lot!

This guy must be a real shiat head. The only time I've seen stuff like this taken to the cops or even security is when the patient is a repeat customer who always does awful things. Eventually they screw up enough that it's worth the hassle of doing the paperwork to not have to take care of them anymore.

knbwhite:haolegirl: x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.

Sorry, I work at a pet clinic. Just had a 12 week old lab humping my arm last week...happens a lot!

berylman:glmorrs1: I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride.

How do you know it wasn't one 15-minute session with brief intermissions every 3 minutes to calm down a little? This is important stuff!

I'm just assuming. He put his hand in his pants and starts going to town, and after a couple minutes he goes "uuugghhhhhh!" and starts panting. Like a minute later his hand is back in his pants and he does it all over again. My partner's dying laughing and I'm just praying to whatever gods will listen that he doesn't try to touch me.