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Week #5--Holiday Sex? Not.

As I watch them take a break on the bench, I fondly think back to seven years past when my husband and I sat on that very bench. Like the young lady, I had my legs draped over my husband’s lap, laughing and snuggling. We too were so very in love and we did not care who saw the PDA (public display of affection).

Seven years later, the love I feel for my husband as I watch him show our son how to skate is profound. I realize it’s a solid love that is intertwined with him being such a great father and him being utterly besotted with our sons.

Yet—because we always want what we can’t have—I wanted to taste again what those young lovers felt. To be kid’less skating on the pond, stopping every few feet to kiss and caress. To sit on the bench and be in our own little make-out world. To know as soon as we get home we’re going to rip each other’s clothes off and have some amazing, mind blowing sex.

Back to reality. We pack up our kids to go home, knowing we’re going home to make snacks and start lunch. Being able to have sex that afternoon was highly unlikely—a spontaneous romp resulting into mind blowing sex a complete joke. I glance back at the young lovers and then ahead to my family—momentarily caught in between.

I move forward to my family. Realizing that I could always find a new lover who would give me those feelings of abandoned passion; but I could rarely (if ever) find a solid enough love that could carry me through the rest of my life.

1. Any aliens from Star Trek look more real

Everyone alien on any Star Trek TV show or movie basically looked like a normal person with a weird face. Still more realistic than whatever they tried to do with that Kim Kardashian naked butt photo in Paper.

4. Jason Voorhees needs less Photoshop than Kim K

5. King Kong > Kim Kardashian butt photos

King Kong does not look realistic, but he looks way more expressive than Kim K's butt does. And, to be honest, more expressive than her current face does. (Seriously, why'd she do all that work to her mug? She was perfectly lovely in 2006 with her original face.)

6. Davy Jones is more real than Kim Kardashian is in photos

7. The Predator is less horrifying than Kim's fake butt

Hey, hold up this picture next to Kim K's magazine cover and see which one you believe in less. Seriously, do it. And then hope that Danny Glover and Arnold Schwarzenegger live forever to keep you safe.

10. Benjamin Button is more believable than Kim Kardashian's butt

Everyone alien on any Star Trek TV show or movie basically looked like a normal person with a weird face. Still more realistic than whatever they tried to do with that Kim Kardashian naked butt photo in Paper.