17.2.09

Jolly Old England

The black cloud that I have named '2009 So Far' hangs over my head still. I really hope this year has better things in store or that I see the sun behind the clouds soon. I haven't been in a rut like this in years. I am not even having my fallback of vicarious happiness as it seems like this year is not being all that kind to anyone so far.

I spent the last week in England for training and decided to precede training with a visit to my good friend S., in Chester, England. It was a bright spot - what else can be as good for a down mood than girl time? S. is as mischievous as me and together we seem to always have a lot of good laughs. I met her new beau, who was quite startled that I was American, which he somehow detected when I started speaking. S. explained to him that he needn't worry, I am quite European now. That exchange left me alternately giggling and speechless! Chester is a beautiful town and we had a great dinner in Liverpool and caught an Arhtur Miller play afterwards. I also loved seeing all the progress S. has made in renovating her house and I feel even more strongly that I need to find my own home to experiment with and love.

After the weekend I headed on to training, very reluctantly. Some people prefer to mope alone at home when they are down in the dumps. Others can't stand to be alone. I fall into the former camp. So the thought of going to training, where networking is more important than the training, with a bunch of people I never met before had me praying for any way out. However the training was excellent and the insights and stories shared by my colleauges combined with a healthy sense of humor drew me out of my shell and by the end of the week I had made some new friends. One thing I can always count on in my job, for better or for worse, the people are cut from the same cloth as me and they understand far better than most what my life is like.

After a weekend in Cologne, I arrived back in the US today. I think I will start putting a little sign by my bed each night so I know where I am in the morning. Like in Memento.