Posts

It toke me six months and one day to write this
I didn't proofread or edit because
that would have taken another month...
My due date was April 17th, but I knew all along that she would come later. I was uncomfortable and crampy for a few nights before, and could have sworn I was in labor Friday, the 19th, but when I woke up and peed my contractions stopped. Probably should have removed the toddlers legs from my belly and peed at 1am instead of waiting until 6am...hindsight.
It was the Saturday before Easter and I there were no signs of baby other than the fact that I didn't want her to come that night which in my head meant that she was totally coming that night. Because you can absolutely tell babies when to be born, right! The only reason I didn't want her to come during the night was because Caches was excited for the Easter Bunny to eat the carrots he left out and get a basket and I so badly wanted to see his face light up. I didn't care …

I wish my kids didn't need to nap! There, I said it, and I absolutely mean it! I know, I know... Don't say it, don't even say it. Your kid takes amazing naps. You love it and you never want them to stop napping! They napped until they were five years old! They pass right out in the car and sleep while you drive. They nap in the stroller while you jog or sip hot coffee. You use that time to work out or make dinner or save puppies and woodland creatures. You get a few blissful hours every single day without your children. Good for you. I hope your kid does nap until he is five. And I'm not even being sarcastic right now! Shocking, I know.

I might be alone here, but I hate naps. I know if my kids were good nappers I'd be on the other side, but my kids suck at sleeping. They do. They excel at many things, but resting the body and closing the eyes, BIG FAT FUCKING F! The amount of work and stress that goes into getting a measly 30 minutes out of them ju…

I knew it would be a difficult adjustment bringing home a new baby. I knew Caches would have an emotional time sharing me with his baby sister. We have a special thing between us, he and I. I knew I was going to be mentally and physically exhausted. What I didn't know was just how much he would struggle, how much I would struggle, or how very empowering that struggle would be for the both of us.

When Arlowe first came home form the hospital, Ryan was home, so managing two kids, one who slept most of the day, was fairly doable. Caches was feeling things out and I was slowly learning how to balance the needs of two tiny people. Cache would want me to put Arlowe down and hold him and I would. Arlowe would need to nurse and Ryan would take Caches out to do something fun or play in the other room. It was going fairly well, but I knew that it wouldn't always be like this.

At some point the reality of it all was going to hit him. Was going to hit me! There was going to come …

You know those air plants that they sell at Home Depot? They are pretty and whimsical looking, but for some reason they always adorn them with brightly colored parrots and affix a magnet so you can hang them on your refrigerator. Because who doesn't want a plant that lives off of air alone hanging out on their refrigerator door mocking them every time, 23 to be exact, that they open it up and take a bite of leftover cake. Or is that just me? Anyway, these plants live off of air, and so does my son.

Of course not 100% air, that would be crazy! He also chugs a few small glasses of whole raw milk (yay!) some nuts (yay!) and a tiny bit of ice cream (yay?), his treat before bed, pretty much every day. These are the only things he will eat without fail. Sometimes he will snack on a carrot, a cracker, a handful of granola eaten off the kitchen floor like the dogs, the ONE PERFECT bite of MY food that I was saving for last, fruit snacks, an apple, or some cheese, but thes…