Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Is it sad of me to say that I am jealous of my friends with families? I want one so bad. All my sisters and brother are married and have kids. Most of my friends are married and have kids. And here, as one of my friends from younger years said, "Here we always thought Mindy was going to be the first to settle down with a family."

I think it really starts to get to me hard this time of year. All the cute little kids in their holiday outfits all dressed up ready to go to church then to come home to find Santa stopped by while they were out. All the babies, having no idea what they are in for when they grow up, cooing and jibbering as they crawl or waddle about from Grandma to Grandpa to Auntie to Uncle.

Reading a friends post this morning on facebook really did me in. Her mom had commented on how she is in love with all the nesting that is starting to take place at their house with the little one's arrival right around the corner. "How awesome God is."

Yes, how awesome God really is. But, come on. Can he cut me a break soon here?! I'm not getting any younger and I want to hold a little one in my arms soon. I want to start a family. I want to play in the dirt, kiss a boo-boo, hold them till they fall back to sleep and tell them it's okay-The boogey man can't hurt you.

I want that.

But when will God put that certain someone in my path. Or is he, and I haven't even opened my eyes yet. Or-maybe God still thinks I still have some things to accomplish before I settle down.

I don't know, but it's so hard to trust Him sometimes. Nevertheless, I still do. I try waiting patiently to His still small voice, but I get distracted ever so quickly. so many things flood my mind at one time.

Then I hear God calling to me- "All in good time, Mindy. All in good time. My plans for you are set. They are in motion. Trust me and you will see them through. Even when you waiver, I will guide you back on that path."

So, jealously shouldn't be what I feeling. I should be happy for them(which I am by the way...) and trust someday, maybe God has that in my plan as well. Or, maybe something bigger and better than I could ever hope or dream up!

2
comments:

I agree with you.... Is it just me, or have some Christians made it seem like a "greater spirituality" for single women to suppress their desire for a family? (Okay, Paul, we get it) Not in so many words of course. But what are we to conclude? No wonder some earnest young women are going for the dating-Jesus thing.

I think there's a difference between taking joy in what we have and suppressing hope for the future. I keep thinking I should work at an orphanage, and I still just might. My motherly energy is not being used very effectively! haha.

I think "wanting a kid" part actually brought me to working with the kids at Sunday School. I am a big kid myself and I think they relate to that. But when it comes to being an adult, they know when Miss Mindy will switch over. :) I think I might see what I can do at my new church with the kids.

Ahoy!
Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves.
I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~
~Mindy