Self Esteem

Self Esteem

Crazy Questions

I was sitting at home last night trying to get everyone settled enough so that i could have some relaxation time. When my four year old neice came up to me and asked me why she was fat.

The question kind of took me by suprised as I looked her up and down I kept thinking. 'Your four. Who put it in your head that you are fat?' I just kept looking at her and I had no clue how to answer her question.

My four year old niece should not be asking questions about her size. That should be the last thing on anyones mind. I told her just to continue playing and I will see what i could come up with.

She put a smile back on her face and went on playing with the other children.

This question really bothered me for the rest of the night last night. I went in to tuck her in and my son, and as I sat down on her bed she asked me again why she was fat. So I came back telling her that she needed to descirb to me what she meant by fat. The school she goes to is not a very good school.

She started to pinch her stomach and her arms like there was a lot to see. I will tell you my niece is four and stands at a total of maybe three feet, and has weighed a total of 30 lbs for that last year of her life.

This horrified me that someone put this in her head. 'Who told you you were fat?' I couldnt help but ask. She answered and said some kids at school. This little girl has gone through everything in the last year of her life. Now she is not only questioning her weight, but will also make her question her prettiness at some point in life.

I had no idea what to say when people did this to me as a child I also came home to my mother and all my mother would say is suck it up and just let it roll off your back. I didnt want to be that kind of person. To tell my love ones to just let it go, because if you learn to just let it go then you will let it go your whole life. And the pain will go on your whole life. I speak from personal experience.

I told her to go to sleep and i will see what i can think of. She just smiled gave me a kiss and went to bed.

Last night was a bad night of sleep. I tossed and turned not knowing what to say to her in the morning.

I figured I would just stick to the old they only pick on you because they like you. She didnt buy that one (she is way to smart for her age).

So I opposed it. I let her know that she was the prettiest little girl in my life, and thats all that matters. I dont care what anyone says about her, because I will always love her no matter what.

That day I let her pick out what she wanted to wear to school. I let her pick out how she wanted me to do her hair, and let her make her own bed. I read somewhere that letting your chiildren do things on their own is supposed to help bring out the confidence in them.

Is there a question that your child has ever asked you that you didnt know how to answer?

This would be called a parenting delima.

There is always an answer. If you cannot answer right then and there. Dont just make something up tell them that its not the time to talk about it and that you will talk to them later. If they dont leave you alone then give them something anything that will make them think a little

Every child loves to have something to think about.

If you give children their own chores around the house and let them do things on their own then you are on a good track to creating confidence.

If youa allow your child to be silly at anytime. Then continue because this makes them not care what anyone else thinks about them. If you want join in with them becasue it shows that you dont care what anyone thinks about you.

When i was only about 5 or 6 years old i asked my mom quite innocently and openly "why does your dick grow?" because, obviously i wanted to know about this occasional strange occurrence with my body. My moms reaction was to laugh and not answer the question,,, somehow i managed to pick up on the idea that this was a very embarrassing thing, and it affected me for many years, i grew up through my teenage years as well being horribly embarrassed by my sexuality.

The lesson here is that parents have to be very careful not to display embarrassment over their children's difficult questions.