18 October 2002

MS: The Hits Just Keep On Comin'!

Microsoft updated their security warning count to 61 for the year, with a triple-decker of three new patches/warnings/problems. Apple machines are, as usual, not affected.

Microsoft did issue one security patch for MS Office, presumably to close the "personal information that gets hack PR writers caught lying" security hole that was Valerie Mallinson's undoing. This is the second security patch for Office on the Mac. Remember that: 61 versus 2.

Now how much would you pay? But wait there's more! It seems that our favourite "Trustworthy Computing" monopoly, the company that continues to propose that computers would be more secure if all user data were stored on MS servers, got hacked into last night. A hacker made off with future Windows betas and other as-yet-unreleased software. As Sam the Eagle (from the Muppet Show) might say, "I am shocked.Shocked I tell you."

A ZDNet story (the only major tech publication to ignore the ad fiasco story by the way ...) today calls Microsoft "it's own worst nightmare" (remember, they're not even referring to the ad fiasco!) saying that "marketing confusion, licensing demands and software compatibility problems may have triggered a backlash among consumers ..." Gee, ya think?

Watch me now as I move in for the kill: if you're not already wearing Depends Undergarments to prevent accidental urination due to laughter, you might want to go grab a pair before reading on. Ready? Okay, you've been warned: according to this story, Microsoft President and Chief Primate Steve Ballmer says the company may "consider sanctions" against the public relations consultant (that they hired) "who tried to pass herself off as someone who had switched from Apple Mac [sic] to Windows XP."

The story went on to say that the fake testimonial (which Australian IT site SMH.com calls an "indescretion,"), which Microsoft previously admitted having paid Mallinson to do, "strikes at the heart of Microsoft's attempts to turn around its unscrupulous image."

Monkeyboy added, in his usual articulate manner, "I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward." Gracious, Mr. Ballmer! The devil you say! How ... unusual! A Microsoft PR flack doing something unethical? Well now I've heard everything!

Between bites of his banana, Ballmer further howled that "it may be necessary to 'weed out' employees who --" (get this) " -- do not live up to Microsoft's standards of behaviour."

All this entertainment ... and it's just another day at Microsoft. Heck it didn't even slow down the virus/bug warnings! In fact, it's almost like they thought if they issue three warnings in a single day (or, as ZDNet prefers to slant, "MS squashes three bugs") that maybe we'd be too busy updating our computers to notice the fake ad fallout!