Last night, while you were yanking the innards out of a turkey, a certain nightlife guru named Garfield (the guy behind M.I.A. Mondays at Mama Mia's in Hollywood) was opening the doors of the new club Chrome (1421 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Oakland Park). Garfield sends his apologies for the schedule; he's British and all he had to do was scarf down some tea and crumpets today. So he's extended the opening bash to last all weekend. Now that you've watched Katie Couric bullshit-smile her way through a telecast about a thousand dumb-ass floats (nothing better to spend 80 gazillion dollars on) and your brain is the consistency of cranberry sauce, put on something stretchy and dance off your food coma -- after helping Mom with the dishes, of course. Happy Thanksgiving! Call 954-567-1311.

Fabulous people unite at the White Party.

FRI 26

While everyone else is experiencing parking-lot rage at the mall today, you can observe Buy Nothing Day, a small act of resistance against Western consumerism, which we all know leads to the destruction of natural resources and the continued oppression of the poor. Some people celebrate this "holiday" by setting up credit-card-cutting stations outside the mall or by pushing empty carts around Wal-Mart while reveling in the fact that they're totally not buying anything! But you know better. The no-buying rule, of course, doesn't apply to making a donation. Which means you get the green light to attend the White Party (happening from Tuesday the 23rd through Monday the 29th) in Miami. The city's signature chi-chi event is a fundraiser for Care Resource, Florida's primo AIDS/HIV service organization. Hit one or all of the 20 events (like tonight's Cirque Blanc party for women who love women at Nikki Beach Club, 1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach) that are giving 100 percent of the proceeds to Care. See www.whiteparty.com for a complete schedule, or call 305-576-1234. For more information about Buy Nothing Day, see www.adbusters.org.

SAT 27

Sure, you could easily beat up some kindergartners and steal their backpacks, but there is a better way to get cool artwork for free. Join the Fourth Annual Art Scavenger Hunt. At 8 p.m., head over to Tavern 213 (213 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale) where you will receive a map. Interpret the clues, which will lead you to works created by such generous paintbrush pushers as former Marilyn Manson bass player Gidget Gein and Miami's hot-shit dark genius, Francesco Locastro. "Remember," says organizer Steve Sticht -- the same guy who, a few years ago, painted a bunch of bicycles blue and chained them around town -- "tools might be required to obtain the art, and some pieces will be fragile." Don't be greedy -- take two pieces at most and bring 'em back to the bar to get them autographed by the artists. Or confuse everybody -- make some art of your own, give it to the artists, and ask them if they want your autograph. Be a giver, not a taker --'tis the season. Call 954-249-8484.

SUN 28

With so many bands using numbers in their names, it's hard to tell which are obvious references and which require a little research to understand. Well, Virginia, the truth is, it depends. Blink-182 and its followers (yes, that's a sad thought) fall into the obtuse Scarface referencecategory, whereas bands like Regatta 69 nominally tell us their favorite year for music. Yes, 1969 was for more than just long-haired freaks making babies in rural New York -- it was also the year those wacky Brits took a national liking to ska music. So you'd be right to assume the 69ers are more into the traditional ska sound than the Less Than Jake school of ska/pop/punk wankery. The North Carolinians share the stage with local skanksters Mug tonight at Alligator Alley (1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park). The show starts at 9 p.m. and costs $5. Call 954-771-2220.

MON 29

The University of Miami's ceramics program has held its share of topnotch exhibits down in the Gables. But you needn't always make the trek down to the university's CAS Gallery or Lowe Art Museum to check out said work; UM has partnered with Palm Beach Community College to bring some of that work up north for the exhibit "Common Ground," which opens today at PBCC's Eissey Campus (3160 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens). The exhibit features ceramic pieces by faculty members (lecturer Bonnie Seeman), current students (Michael Douglas, Shannon Calhoun), past students (Kim Radatz, Vicki Martin), and the program's resident artists. A Tuesday reception has been postponed until January 18. That means all you aspiring art students have more time to think of intelligent questions (or at least find the right outfit for a little shoulder-rubbing). Call 561-207-5015.

TUE 30

Unless you've been happily married since high school -- as likely a possibility as, um, being happily married since high school -- you've glanced through the personal ads at least once, just in case. Of course, you never know what sort of person is lurking at the other end of that phone number, and all it takes is one bad date to significantly damage one's mental health -- like it did for the would-be couple in Christopher Durang's play Beyond Therapy. After meeting through a personal, Prudence and Bruce visit with their respective shrinks, whose questionable advice proves woefully inadequate at solving their problems. It doesn't help that Bruce's therapist talks to him through a Snoopy doll. Good grief. Beyond Therapy is performed at 8:30 tonight at the University Center for the Performing Arts (2240 SW 70th Ave., Unit A, Davie). Call 954-475-3000.

WED 1

When Day Without Art was conceived some 15 years ago, the idea was for artists nationwide to hang up their paintbrushes for a day to memorialize those in the art community who lost their lives to AIDS. However, the organizers eventually gave up the artistic silent treatment method and changed the name to Day With(out) Art, displaying projects by artists living with HIV/AIDS. Today's event -- which takes place from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Broward County Library Main Branch (100 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale) -- features work by local artists, performances by the Fort Lauderdale Gay Men's Chorus and Lambda Chorale, representatives from AIDS service organizations, and more. Call 954-530-2723, or visit www.artsunitedonline.org.