Stories from the trenches, by a fictional hiring partner at a large law firm in a major city.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

At home waiting for a call from a client while Anonymous Wife and Kids are at Shrek 2, a movie I wouldn't have gone to see even if I could bill the cost of the tickets and popcorn to a client. So I'm killing time on the Internet while I wait. My best wishes to Evan Schaeffer and his wife on the birth of a new baby boy. And congratulations to the summer associate who, three e-mails from last night tell me, made a clumsy attempt to hit on his married secretary. Not a good idea, summer associate. One e-mail urges me to give him the benefit of the doubt, and that maybe his actions were misinterpreted. The other two describe actions it would be hard to misinterpret. I suppose I'll let him sweat over the weekend and give him a talking-to on Monday. Sad as it may seem, this is probably not a fire-able offense in the tight competition for high-quality law students. Assuming the facts as I know them now are true, it's probably a warning, some sort of probationary period, and a note in his file. And an apology (to her, not me), and a commitment to professionalism in the future. And maybe we'll make him give back his Dodgers tickets. I'll go with his secretary. She ain't bad.

Why in the world did that summer associate feel entitled to hit on his secretary?? How long has he been there, fer chrissake? I also hope you will make sure the secretary in question doesn't have to do any work for him anymore. "Tight competition for high-quality [sic] law students" means you wind up with a new lawyer with poor judgment and a potential future entanglement with Title VII? Hmmmm....

A kid not too long out of college,"made a clumsy attempt to hit on his married secretary," and one of your brothers thinks the federal fucking government needs to get involved. You lawyers suck.

I know squat about law firms, but, in business, if that secretary knows her stuff AL would be on his hands and knees begging her forgiveness and explaining why it would never happen again. College grads or "high-quality law students" are a dime a dozen; a skilled secretary is priceless.

Having worked in law firms for over 10 years as both a legal secretary and paralegal, I can say that such clumsy advances are not only common, but come from at least one or two individuals from any given summer associate class (at my ripe old age of 38, I’m constantly surprised to find that it continues to happen each year). In addition, such advances regularly come from associates, partners, and even persons in HR (who conduct sexual harassment seminars). Given the long hours and mind numbingly boring work (particularly for secretaries), a reminder from time to time that you are not merely someone's 9-5 slave, but also give the appearance of having some other "qualities" to offer, can break up the day and boost one’s ego, sad as it may seem. (It never hurts to have a giggle in the middle or at the end of one’s work day!) However, one of the problems with sexual harassment claims in the work place is it removes all accountability from the so-called victim. Who is to say the married secretary did not ask for such attention. I see secretaries sending mixed signals all the time, and when the recipient of such signals reciprocates, the flirt suddenly becomes a victim. Indeed, often-times these are the people who bring claims for sexual harassment against firms as a whole. I have seen it happen more than once and in more than one firm. Furthermore, if the married (or unmarried) secretary is uncomfortable with advances from any person with whom he or she works, he or she should grow up and set his or her boundaries with that person, rather than spreading vicious rumors about a person. The secretary could have misinterpreted the “clumsy” advance just as the summer could have misinterpreted the secretary’s signals. The only people who really know what happened are the summer and the secretary. Finally, I give the secretary 10 years when the attention from summer associates and others will wane, and she will WISH some lame-ass summer associate would give her a bit of attention from time to time. Personally, I would inform the summer that you’ve been made aware of allegations of his actions and let him know in no uncertain terms that the firm doesn’t tolerate such behavior (you’d be surprised at how naïve 24 year-olds are). Alternatively, let him know that if he is going to enter into a consensual arrangement with colleague or secretary (as you yourself have admittedly engaged), he should do so respectfully and discretely, not only out of respect for the other party involved, but to preserve a professional and ethical façade of his own fitness to practice law, even if that’s all it is. At the same time, give the guy a break and don’t label him as guilty until so proven. After all, he just got through another year of law school! Having earned his post as a summer, he has certainly earned the privilege of seeing the Dodgers! After all, while he was studying through the night, laboring over papers, reading cases, and taking exams, the secretary was probably engaging in her 9-5 flirtations with some other unwitting fellow and making a decent salary while doing so.

One day, I too will become a partner. And when that happens, Flirty Summer Associate will be tossed out of the firm in 2 seconds flat and black-listed by every classmate, friend and colleague I have, Ivy League degree and all.

I really hope that story is fiction, but I'm not so naive to realize that it's probably at least partly based on truth.

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