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One way or another, I’ll find my way to cover

I love Tegan and Sara. I love the new Sainthood cd. I love that each song is totally different from the next. they’re playing at the tower theatre in pa but i don’t have a car yet and i won’t be able to get there. God, it’d be so magical to see them play live! I’m feeling a little weird/down right now. I’m not sure how I should take what I’m feeling. I just read my friend Brandi’s post on her blog and it mentioned obese people.

Obese People Crying For Equality – You got yourself that way and I am disgusted that we should “fix” things around your lifestyle. I actually heard a woman in Victoria’s Secret complain that they are a terrible company for not having a XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL size available for her. You want a medal for being that large? Then go to Wal-Mart, home of the fatties.

I am not crying for equality believe me when I get smaller it will be a nice prize to be able to shop at regular stores like vicky secrets to get me an extra pushed up bra. But guys… I am 367 pounds. I am a big bitch. i am a thats a XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL that is me right now. I am going to weight watchers, sure, but right now and for prob a year, i’m going to be a big ass bitch. A fattie. *certified fat chick*. I just don’t want to be judged as disgusting and gross in public. I don’t want my friends to think of me as this horrendous blimp on their “atmospheric radar”. Sure, I am disgusted all on my own with my appearance. I do not need this added grief that on a day I actually think I look half decent in my 4x wal-mart shirt and size 26/28 jeans from fashion bug that I look halfway fucking decent that everyone is looking at my shaking there head thinking that shouldn’t be allowed. I shop at wal-mart home of the fatties. It’s cheap and does go up to my size which is nice because lord knows i don’t wanna walk around naked. I’m just kinda really horrified right now. I don’t want to be who I am right now and its going to take a really really really long time to lose the 200 pounds i need to be normal. I’m aware and i’m doing what I can. I live a life skinny people don’t understand. Arm rests and booths are unsittable for me. So I don’t want to be this fattie, XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL whatever anymore. But please, while I’m making this transition, don’t fucking disrespect me or what I look like. There’s all kindsa reasons I have gotten this far this way. It all has to do with me.

3 thoughts on “One way or another, I’ll find my way to cover”

OMG Krystal, you are totally reading waaaaay into what I said. NEVER ONCE did I mention you are disgusting and a waste of air (or however you put it). I SAID it is disgusting that people expect things to be set up around their unhealthy habits. I NEVER look at you as disgusting! I even said, congrats for taking charge of your life and your habits and DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Didn’t I??? In my post, I was talking about women/men that blame skinny people for their problems! I said they get so angry that there aren’t items in their size. I’m talking about people that refuse to do anything about their lifestyle, but YOU (I EVEN SAID THIS IN A COMMENT ON YOUR PREVIOUS ENTRY) are taking responsibility and are doing something about it. I LIKE you, Krystal. You are a human being, large or not. You’re gorgeous and you know it! You’re not blaming skinny people for your problems, you’ve said that over and over.

So, how is my entry ANYTHING about what you have just said in this entry? According to you, I personally attacked you and obese people, however, I never personally attacked obese people, I attacked obese people being so angry about not everything being according to their size! I don’t believe in rewarding that unhealthy lifestyle with “fixing” everything. It ISN’T HEALTHY. You and I BOTH know that, which is why you’ve said you want to do something to better yourself, am I right?

I will not beg for your forgiveness, because I feel I had my right to my opinion and I didn’t lash out at you. I do enjoy our friendship online and I WILL apologize for making you think I was personally attacking you, when I wasn’t!

Thanks for your comment brandi I understand what youre saying. It does piss me off when fat people use the scooters at the sumermarket because they’re either too lazy to walk or their feet hurt because of all the weight on them. It is ridiculous and thanks for the clarification. It’s just I had to make sure because I wanna be friends. I have enough on my plate (haha) right now with my insecurities and trouble dealing with this that I don’t want to fall backwards off the wagon. You can understand that I wasn’t mad though right? I was just really hurt. Like, I felt that oh man it’s happening again kinda thing.People I thought who were my friend, right here in Delaware, turned out to be talking shit on me. Sometimes I can be full of myself and I apologize for that.

What is more disgusting is people who have no empathy at all for others, and others situations. People who judge others based on appearance…that is disgusting.

Regardless of whether you weigh 832lbs, or 32. You are a human being. Obese people, thin people, mildly overweight people…are PEOPLE..human beings, so yes, we all deserve to be treated as such. We all deserve to be treated EQUALLY..regardless of weight.

You know what? I am a Heroin addict. I got myself in that situation, but youre damn fucking right I believe I should be treated equal and should not be looked down on for getting myself into a fucked up situation. Why? Because we are all human beings, imperfect human beings. We are all living under the same sky..just trying to fucking make it…