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My Big Fat Greek Tuesday

According to CNBC, Greece has until tomorrow, Tuesday, May 14, 2012 to repay 436 Euros of debt to the three percent of bondholders who did not voluntarily tender their bonds for less money than they were worth earlier this year. These bondholders were warned that they would get nothing, according to the article, and some of them bought the bonds for pennies on the dollar, and would make a nice profit.

That doesn’t sound so bad. But wait there’s more: there may be a 30 day extension to even decide whether to default on these bondholders. Now the bad news: the S&P 500 declined over 1% today due to fears of all of this seemingly-not-that-big-a-deal-news (except on the news I watch, CNN, which said it was kind of a big deal). Citigroup declined over 4%, which is a lot considering the National Bank of Greece only declined 3.65%.

Could there be worse news? Of course, because you wouldn’t be reading the site NotTheWorstNews.Com if you didn’t want to know potential worse news to make you feel better about the “bad news”.

3 Things Worse Than Greek Potentially Defaulting On Some Bonds Next Month Held By 3 Percent Of Bondholders Who Decided To Take Their Chances On A Risky Bet

1. All of this is going down on a Tuesday. Or maybe a Thursday 30 days down the road. Both of which miss the comedic opportunity of titling this article “My Big Fat Greek Wednesday.” So if you were hoping to write a blog called “My Big Fat Greek Wednesday”, the Greeks even managed to ruin that. So this site is stuck having to come up with Mardi Gras aka “Fat Tuesday” reference instead.

2. Greece could adopt New Orleans’ Mardi Gras beads as its new official currency. “These things must be worth a lot, as women are willing to flash crowds of complete strangers holding up their iPhone cameras to get them!” could excitedly exclaim the Greek Parliament. A lesson to those of you out there: if you want Mardi Gras beads on Mardi Gras, the gutters and sidewalks of Bourbon Street are lined with them! If only people weren’t so distracted by women flashing their breasts they might notice.

3. Greece could send church-style collection plates around the country, and its wealthier citizens, who may have saved money over the years through tax evasion could fill the plates with enough Euros to foot the bill and avoid default. And then in an act of celebratory confusion, the plate-holders could all yell “Opa!” and light the plates of Euros on fire. And with no bailout and no fattening Sakanaki to enjoy, it certainly wouldn’t be… ahem… a Fat Tuesday.