September 27, 2013

started eating Puffs a few weeks ago and loves them. Strawberry Apple flavor.

gagged at the first taste of homemade squash and mashed potatoes

also gagged at the first taste of apple sauce

still nurses in the morning and sometimes in the wee hours of the morning.

is currently going through another growth spurt and is signaling so by waking up around three a.m. lately. And that is with a cereal bottle before bed.

still loves her fingers. Her best self soothing method. That and with her other hand brings her blankie up to her face and just holds it there.

still wearing lots of her 3 month old onesies and some new 3-6 month clothes too. She is our sweet string bean. Long and skinny. People have been commenting lately about how small she is for her age. To us, she seems so much bigger, but I guess compared to some babies she is definitely on the smaller side.

She still has some cute chubby rolls on her thighs, but that’s about it for rolls. String bean.

Does not mind wearing bows and headbands. Grandparents, however, tell me that she, in fact, does not like wearing them and promptly pulls them off of her when they see her - smile.

Also does not mind wearing shoes or sandals. To her, they are just something extra she can chew on (smile).

Loves reading her board books - as long as she has one we are reading and another she can be chewing on while we read.

Sometimes still fights sleep at night. But then surprises us when she is fighting it and then we just put her in her bed and she falls right to sleep...sometimes I think I want to rock her to sleep more than she actually wants/needs me to rock her to sleep.

Notice my foot in the bottom of this photo trying to stop her from crawling right off the chair.

Crawls like crazy. Especially fast when she is headed to henry’s bowl, or when Grandma Rose shows up in the afternoon to see her. If she is on the floor playing she quickly crawls to greet her.

Has gotten better when she’s at the gym daycare. Now that she can sit on the floor and play, I think she has realized how much fun it is to play with all the toys!

would choose an iphone or ipad to play with over any other toy. every time.

Still loves to feel surfaces and scratch them with her nails.

Says “Da-Da-Da.” And squeals when she sees Henry, “EEEeeeee!”

Has not been blowing raspberries as much lately, but has replaced it with lots of babble. I think she is going to be a chatty cathy - and I can’t wait!

Smiles all the time now. I love it. Especially when I pick her up in the afternoons and she greets me at the door with a smile in excitement to see me.

Is pulling up on things and standing on both feet. This girl is ready to move.

Sits on her play mat and plays and plays now...Well, chews and chews on her toys, really, but it’s amazing to us how interested she is in playing these days.

Whines and sometimes cries when I leave the room lately. It breaks my heart but also makes me feel pretty darn special too.

Has the softest best smelling hair. And it’s actually grown out quite a bit recently. I still think she will have curls like her papa, but I guess we will wait and see.

Loves bath time but after bath ritual of lotion, diaper, dressing and combing is not her favorite. She just does not like to lay that long. Squirmy worm.

Had her first restaurant dining experience in Fort Worth a couple weeks ago and did so amazingly great! She sat in a high chair and played and was absolutely mesmerized by looking at all the people and other kids talking and eating.

Also had her first experience at the Brownwood Reunion fair. She was so very pleasant the entire time. Again, I think she is just so mesmerized by people watching and loves all the sounds and sights.

Stayed in her first hotel this past month. Did very well considering it was not home and her normal bed. She slept between Adam and I and solidified the fact that we need a king size bed at home.

Still no teeth. Or even signs of teeth. We go through bouts of lots of drool and then hardly any drool. But no teeth. Just a sweet gummy smile :)

Does NOT like having her face wiped down after a meal. Carrots can be up her nose, and she will be happy as a clam. As soon as the damp paper towel even touches her, we have a melt down.

Is seven months and it feels like she was just three months yesterday.

It's now hitting me how fast this really goes. I think it's because for me it seems like she changes so much just from one month to the next. Every milestone just comes so fast. It's absolutely the most fun experience and just keeps getting better. A sweet friend of mine text me a lot in the early weeks promising that it would get better and better. She was so right. It has.

September 20, 2013

Taken on March 16th. Just two weeks after we brought our sweet E home with us. When I think about this time, I get butterflies in my stomach. It was all still so very new. A new life. No routine established quite yet. My mom had just come to stay with us for the week and I remember being so anxious that she was going to be leaving us soon. I was so nervous. But I remember also looking over at Adam sitting next to me on the couch and seeing our newborn sleeping on his chest. I remember thinking to myself, "should I move and go get my camera and risk waking her up? Or should I just stay put?" I decided that I would move and try to quietly snap a few photos of them. Somehow in all the newness and anxiety, a little part of me felt better because I was doing something that felt a little like my old self. And I am so glad that I did. I just cannot imagine not having this photo today. A photo that will forever bring back all those raw emotions.

I created the first ever layout of our baby girl using this photo just a few weeks ago.

And this one

Taken by the amazing, Melody, who also did our maternity photos. Literally, just three days after we brought E home, Melody came to our home to do her newborn photos. She did such a wonderful job with the photos of E. Especially considering that E was awake and not-so-cooperative during the shoot. Each photo that she took of our girl is breath-taking (I promise I will post them soon!). But this one. This photo. Taken at the end of the session after E had gotten fussy and had just been nursed, and was slowly falling back to sleep in my arms. Melody, being the awesome photographer that she is, just kept on snapping. While I was an anxious mama, she must have known and was calm and cool as a cucumber and so very patient. And she captured this moment. My heart will forever be grateful to her. Still and calm (looking) with a freshly diapered, freshly fed, brand new baby girl in my arms. My baby girl.

There are just some photos that you will never ever get tired of seeing. These are two of mine.

September 16, 2013

Is 32 today (blog post was started on birthday, but not posted for a week due to obvious reasons - smile).

Feels 26

She feels even better than she did at 26 - the year she got married.

Married to an amazing man who is her best friend and the most wonderful Papa to our boy Henry and sweet girl, Ellis. Watching him with Henry melted her heart for four years. Now watching him with their baby girl melts it even more. She had always heard that watching your husband with your kids is the most sexiest thing ever and she usually rolled her eyes at that. She takes back all the eye rolling. It truly is.

Is a mom now. Still feels weird to say, and sometimes it still shocks her when she says the words, “my daughter.”

Experienced postpartum depression shortly after giving birth.

Also experienced the kindness and caring of friends, family, and fellow moms who understood exactly what she was going through and comforted her and cried with her and promised her that it would get better. And it did. And she will be forever grateful to those special people she believes God put in her life when she needed them the most.

Had her heart broken in two upon arriving home from the hospital when she quickly realized that her sweet Henry boy was not excited about having a new baby in the house.

Also has learned in the past six months that her sweet boy is resilient and that time does make things better. Her Henry has warmed up to Ellis and is now returning to some normal behavior like wanting to sleep up on the bed at night, and using his steps to lounge on the bed during the day. And actually lay on the bed while Ellis is up there too.
It may not last very long before he is on the edge somewhere near his steps, but to her, it is HUGE.

Will celebrate seven years of marriage in a month and a few days.

Is teaching art and is reminded at least once a day how much art is needed in schools. Sometimes the day to day tasks and challenges of public schools makes being a teacher hard, but in the end, it’s classes like art and music that truly bring the best out of some kids. And she feels lucky to be able to share her love of art with kids.

Has not been drawing or creating to much art in the past few 6 months, but has scrapbooked a layout or two and it felt amazing. She is feeling the itch to draw and paint again for herself. And has had the opportunity to paint for others lately, and that felt great, too. This changed a few days later when she was inspired by a magazine cover to draw. And it felt amazing.

Is trying to use her big camera more often, but the iphone is still handy and fun to use. Also is trying to get better at remembering to use her video camera more often to capture snippets of E’s first year and milestones.

Has decided that she will always be a foodie. Clean food or McDonalds, this girl loves to eat. And believes that if she cannot enjoy a good meal once in a while, what is life all about?!

Still running...and looking forward to running her first 10K race this month after being pregnant. Is nervous, but also excited and knows the nerves will work with her, not against her.

That last sentence has become her mantra lately. “Nerves will work with me, and not against me.”

Woke up feeling like she had been run over a by a truck. Sore all over, but with a smile because the day before she completed and passed her Body Pump initial training and is on her way to becoming certified.

Has been teaching Body Combat for nearly a whole year again at Brownwood Fitness Center, and has loved every single minute of it. Each time she pushes play on her playlist, checks the mic, and faces the crowd of participants, she smiles and her heart smiles because it feels good. Really really good. Making connections and friendships with people through fitness is definitely a wonderful part of her life.

Has been listening to a lot of music lately. John Mayer Paper Dolls, Sara Bareilles The Blessed Unrest, Jay-Z Holy Grail, Avicii Wake Me Up, Justin Timberlake Mirrors - the list goes on and on really. Music still speaks to her artistic side. She may never sing in public, but in her car on the drive home she sings her heart out.

Knows every word to One Directions’s Best Song Ever. Yup. One Direction.

Is still nursing and pumping for her daughter. She always knew she would try to breast feed, but never imagined she would this long. And is a bit sad at the thought of weaning, but knows it’s coming.

Is tired. But when it comes down to it, realizes that she can and will someday catch up on sleep. But right now, she knows that the moments and memories are what make life great and you can’t live those if you get to bed early every night. It’s in the late nights and early mornings that life really truly happens.

Also doesn’t wonder anymore why her mom could fall asleep literally minutes after sitting down. She is experiencing the same thing nowadays.

Has had a couple “come to Jesus” moments lately where she decided to prioritize life better. Get a handle on things that are important and schedule other things. Plan them out. Be real and honest with herself about what is important and what can wait. It’s been a struggle, but truly believes that it’s what He wants for her and puts things and people in her life at just the right time to assure her that she is doing what is right for her and her little family.

Is still self conscious. At thirty-two. She thought it would be easier in her thirties. It is way easier than at 18, but still pretty self conscious. She guesses this is just part of who she is and her personality.

Currently eats Cocoa Puffs for breakfast like it’s her job. This habit started this past summer when she would wake up super early to pump. Cocoa Puffs made getting up in the wee hours of the morning a little easier. She also still eats her hard boiled egg to for protein. But a morning is just not a good morning without her Cocoa Puffs. <---see, I still feel like I am 12 sometimes.

Never realized just how much being a mom to her daughter would open her heart and make it so damn vulnerable. At first she thought it was a bad thing. She fought it - the change, the idea, and fought it hard and worried. A lot. Too much. And then slowly as the days past, it became a bit easier. She decided that worrying about the “what if’s” was a waste of time. She still did and does, just not as much. And now when she does, she prays. And it helps. With all the tragedy going on in the world right now, her gut just wrenches when she sees children helpless and brings her to tears. Things like that would have been sad before, but now it’s a different kind of sad. A deeper sadness.

She now is starting to realize that life is all about change. It’s inevitable. No matter how much of a creature of habit she is, she might as well just accept that change is also a habit. She can either fight it or just go with it and accept it. And it’s much easier to just accept that life is about change. It’s never ending. But luckily, His love for her is also never-ending.

Hs a new found obsession with shopping. Only now it’s all about shopping for her daughter. Very rarely does she internet shop for herself anymore. It’s all about the infant and toddler section for her and she gets giddy when the package shows up on her door step.

And with a closet stuffed full of clothes and these waiting to be put in, some may call it a problem. But she realizes that her daughter will only be little once, and for now it's fun to play dress up.

Loves her family and friends who feel like family. When it’s all said and done, family, friends (and food!), are what makes this life worthwhile.

Is currently trying to accept that sometimes a not-so-spotless house is okay. There just are not enough hours in the day. She has passed by the same three spots on the floor the past few days and has told herself to come back with the mop to clean them up and has failed each day. Something always side tracks her. It is hard for her to accept because she wants to do it all and clean up the spots, but something tells her that it’s the stuff that she does when she gets side tracked are the important things. The spots will just have to wait.

Is excited and overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude for her life. She cannot wait to see what the Good Lord has in store for her and her family. She knows she is where she is because of His plan and she is thankful. She hopes to never lose sight of the big picture and take mental pictures of everything. In her thirty-second year she wants to grow and become more and more like He intended her to be. As a woman, a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a friend.

And there you have it. My list of 32 things for my thirty-secondth year...only a week late! Go me. There was a couple days this past week I thought maybe just maybe I'd have a few minutes to spare to get it done, but that didn't happen. Such is life these days. And I'm learning to embrace that.