Role Models for Gay Youth in America Can Be A Matter of Life and Death

Published in “HWFmag”

September 2007

We all need role models. They provide direction and guide us through
times of adversity. I can think of a multitude of occasions when I was
at a crossroads when I had an inner conversation with
myself wondering how somebody that I respected would handle a situation
with which I was faced. Role models are particularly essential for
adolescents who are short on knowledge, while at the same time faced
with an overabundance of experiences requiring them to make decisions of
high impact. Teenage suicide in the U.S. has risen by more than 200%
since 1960 and suicide is one of the top three causes of death among
15-24-year-olds in the States.

As difficult as adolescent and young adult years are for mainstream
youth, these formative years are especially difficult for those who are
lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. LGBT youth are dependent on
family members for emotional and financial support. Therefore, they must
be careful to whom they come out, or risk abandonment. LGBT youth
account for 40% of the homeless youth living in the States. Coming out
is always a challenge but at least adults can support themselves
financially. Youth are at the mercy of their parents. Furthermore,
adolescents are strongly concerned with how they are treated by peers.
They fear harassment at school for good reason, so they don’t tell
their friends. They don’t confide in teachers or school
counsellors for fear that they will be mistreated or the school may tell
their parents. They don’t talk to clergy for fear of being
condemned by their religion. So they suffer in silence, very much alone.
LGBT students in school face extreme harassment. Statistics from the
2005 GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
National Climate Survey released in April 2006 were sobering:

75.4% of students heard derogatory remarks such as
“faggot” or “dyke” frequently or often at
school, and nearly nine out of ten (89.2%) reported hearing
“that’s so gay” or “you’re so gay” -
meaning stupid or worthless - frequently or often.

Over a third
(37.8%) of students experienced physical harassment at school
on the basis of sexual orientation and more than a quarter
(26.1%) on the basis of their gender expression. Nearly
one-fifth (17.6%) of students had been physically assaulted
because of their sexual orientation and over a tenth (11.8%)
because of their gender expression.

LGBT students were five times
more likely to report having skipped school in the last month because of
safety concerns than the general population of students.

LGBT
students who experience more frequent physical harassment were more
likely to report they did not plan to go to college. Overall, LGBT
students were twice as likely as the general population of students to
report they were not planning to pursue any post-secondary education.

The average GPA (grade point average) for LGBT students
who were frequently physically harassed was half a grade lower than that
of LGBT students experiencing less harassment (2.6 versus
3.1).

Given the environment faced by LGBT students it is no surprise that
suicide rates for this age group are alarming. And yet all too often
schools do little to protect their gay students. Teachers will punish
students who call others racial or ethnic names but often ignore
anti-gay comments. In fact, boys in gym class often hear comments from
their coaches like, “Stop throwing that baseball like a
girl”, or “stop being such a sissy and toughen
up!” As a gay adult my memories of gym class in school still
send shivers up and down my spine.

If ever a group needed solid role models it is gay youth. Gay role
models are not part of our education and they are not part of our
culture. Parents need to become more accepting and supportive of their
LGBT children. Schools need to address the special needs of their LGBT
students instead of ignoring that such needs exist. Fundamentalist
religious institutions need to stop preaching hate towards gays. Popular
sports figures, musicians and actors need to come out at the height of
their careers. All of these are necessary but unfortunately won’t
happen across the board anytime soon.

However, LGBT role models can offer hope and support and inspiration
to gay youth - that there is hope for them and that they can lead
fruitful, productive and rewarding lives. Adult gays and lesbians
getting involved with LGBT youth organizations make a huge difference in
offering emotional support and hope to the young. Sadly, many gay adults
don’t interact with youth for a number of reasons. First of all,
many had traumatic childhoods because of their own challenges facing
their sexual orientation and gender identity issues. Others
haven’t been around youth in years since most don’t have
children of their own. Then there is the fear of being called a
paedophile if they are seen amongst adolescents.

In the U. S. three of the national organizations that provide
excellent support are GLSEN, which provides support for LGBT students,
teachers and administrators in schools; The Trevor Project, which is a
24 hour telephone suicide and crisis prevention hotline for LGBT youth;
and The Point Foundation, which provides financial support, mentoring
and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual
orientation, gender expression or gender identity. (Point scholars
are young adults studying at University at the undergraduate, graduate
and post-graduate levels).

Many of the major cities throughout the U.S. have groups designed to
help gay adolescents and young adults. Youth First Texas is an
organization here in Dallas that provides support to LGBT youth living
in the Dallas area up through 22 years of age. Youth First Texas
conducts a variety of support groups specializing in support of high
school students, young women and Latinos. They have a mentor program
where older role models are available for guidance. Life coaching
services are also available to provide assistance on issues that can be
handled short-term. An E-Pal email support program and a drop-in centre
and computer lab are some of the additional services provided as
lifelines to Dallas area LGBT youth.

Role models are important for all of us but for LGBT youth, role
models can often save lives! Every athlete, movie or television
star who comes out, helps. So do politicians and local figures. Instead
of focusing on stereotypes gay youth can have somebody to look up to,
with hope instead of despair for their futures.