Furious - need some clarity

I feel I should mention that when this happened on Monday, I was told by HR that if it was an employee then it would be punishable by "termination" and was a "code of conduct" violation. We assumed it was an employee since it happened in the employee parking lot. They did not mention to me that there were security cameras which I had not paid much attention to before. Now they are pretty obvious (doh) I 100% feel that if I did this to HER car I'd have been canned immediately, I think she is getting handled with kid gloves because of her title. When this happened on Monday I was not furious, I was crying. It was not until I saw the video and how callous she was that I got so angry.

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Sorry, but HR shouldn't be sharing this information with you. They're violating the doctor's rights by doing so.

OP, I don't blame you for being upset but what happens to this doctor regarding her job as a result of her causing an accident isn't any of your business. Pursue your right to be made completely whole in this matter and even extra if you so desire but stay out of the matter beyond that. It's up to HR to handle it from the employment end and the police from a criminal aspect.

Be an unbiased 3rd party, completely removed from the situation to look out for the best interest of the OP. Isn't that what lawyers are for?

You have the HR department covering their butts, the Doctor covering hers, who is covering the OP?

ETA: I am not saying by telling the OP she should lawyer up, that she should get all sue happy.

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And I repeat, what do you want the lawyer to do?

OP has several goals here.

1. She wants to get her car repaired. She's dealing with her own insurer and they're dealing with the doctor's insurer. No one is contesting that the doctor is at fault. The OP doesn't need a lawyer at this time to pursue her claim for property damage.

2. She wants a harassment-free workplace. So far there has been one angry, uncomfortable, intimidating confrontation with the doctor. There likely won't be another. OP doesn't need a lawyer unless the doctor continues to harass her. And then, the lawyer will want to know if OP pursued complaints with HR, building security, the police, etc. OP needs to document anything that happens. Potentially she may have claims against the doctor and possibly her employer if the employer does not take action to ensure that OP is not in a hostile work environment. But not yet. If the employer retaliates against her for insisting that the hostilities cease, she'll need a l awyer. But not now.

3. She wants to see that the doctor is punished. That's not really something within her control. How the employer deals with the doctor -- OP has no right to control that decision and probably has no right to even know what disciplinary measures, if any, are imposed. HR may seek the OP's input, of course. Similarly, whatever punishment that will be meted out by the justice system is out of the OP's control. Her role, if any, is that of witness.

4. She wants to reduce her stress level. What happened to her is horrible, it shouldn't have happened, it's very stressful. But turning a hit-and-run property damage claim into a federal case and incurring legal fees in the hundreds or thousands of dollars just so you can say "talk to my lawyer"?

Well, what about preserving evidence? I've always found it useful to simply ask for a copy of whatever dicument, video, etc. I thought I needed to preserve in support of my claim. If you're going to resort to the courts to make someone preserve evidence, you need to be able to tell a court why you need it.

I would never discourage someone from seeking kegal counsel if they thought they needed representation. But I also don't think it's right to encourage someone to spebd $$$ when you don't know what you want tge lawyer to do for you.

Not many actually....IF it happens on private property, and if there are no injuries.....as it was in this case, an unoccupied, parked car.

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Which states? I can't pore through the 50 state laws on hit-and-run, but I don't know why the law would differentiate between private property and public roads. Maybe it wouldn't be a traffic violation, but a driver's negligence that results in thousands of dollars worth of damage to another person's property becomes a criminal matter when the person drives away from the scene to avoid taking responsibility for their negligence.

Hit and Run Laws in California
Leaving the scene of an accident is considered hit and run in California. This accident can involve another car, an unattended vehicle, another person, a pedestrian, an animal, any private or governmental property, such as a mail box or parking meter, and so on. Even if you were not at fault, leaving the scene of accident without providing necessary information to the other parties, or providing help to the injured in case of an injury, is considered hit and run.

California hit and run charges can be either misdemeanor or felony. Leaving the scene of an accident resulting in property damage is considered misdemeanors. For California hit and run misdemeanor there will be points on the driving record and fines to pay. It may sometimes even involve jail time. You should also reimburse the other party for all the damages occurred.

I just haven't seen anything that says you can hit and run on private property and it's not a misdemeanor criminal offense.

Hi everyone! Just getting ready for work. I am a bit nervous, I already have a voicemail (how odd for them to be in this early, it is usually impossible to get ahold of them before 10) from HR asking for me to come see them so that "all parties involved can meet together" at lunch time this afternoon. Exactly how I wanted to spend my lunch! Ugh. I think I will be nervous until then. I am going to tell the Dr to stay away from me, HR never did call me back yesterday, nor did my place of employment return any calls to my insurance company.

I am feeling a lot better today. My husband has told me not to sign anything and if they try to make me to ask for a copy to bring home. I can't imagine there would be anything like that going on. As far as I know HR has no idea the Dr confronted me. I guess I should have some answers this evening. I am getting ready to stuff myself into my tiny clown car. My husband is going to call the insurance today and try to get a more reasonable car. Even if we have to pay the difference I think we are willing to do that.

Hi everyone! Just getting ready for work. I am a bit nervous, I already have a voicemail (how odd for them to be in this early, it is usually impossible to get ahold of them before 10) from HR asking for me to come see them so that "all parties involved can meet together" at lunch time this afternoon. Exactly how I wanted to spend my lunch! Ugh. I think I will be nervous until then. I am going to tell the Dr to stay away from me, HR never did call me back yesterday, nor did my place of employment return any calls to my insurance company.

I am feeling a lot better today. My husband has told me not to sign anything and if they try to make me to ask for a copy to bring home. I can't imagine there would be anything like that going on. As far as I know HR has no idea the Dr confronted me. I guess I should have some answers this evening. I am getting ready to stuff myself into my tiny clown car. My husband is going to call the insurance today and try to get a more reasonable car. Even if we have to pay the difference I think we are willing to do that.

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Good luck today. We will be thinking of you.

I think you should mention how the situation from start to now has upset you. Being approached by the doctor about it was upsetting too. I think I would want that on record that you don't know how the doc thought it was in your hands. Also I'd want it on record you don't want to be approached like that again.

Your husband is right about not signing anything. Can he go to the meeting w/ you? If not bring a pad & pen so you can jot down something that doesn't sound right. I have a feeling you will hear some bs today.

I find it odd that HR wants to facilitate a meeting . . . with all parties. Keep calm and factually address the matter. Explain how you were very disconcerted to have the doctor attempt to coerce you and then attempt to detain you from leaving. Remind them she is a stranger and the situation leaves you feeling harassed and threatened.

Simply tell them you wish her to leave you in peace and you would like the insurance companies to sort things out, end of story. Short, sweet, simple, direct, all businesslike. Anything else undermines your position.

Oh, if they should ask what you want to happen to resolve it at the facility, refer them to their policy. Ask them what does it say? Then ask them what would happen if the situation was reversed. Should be a very interesting meeting.

ETA: Just be careful. HR has the doc's back. They showed that in their actions. This is just a "lets make nice" meeting, and sweep it away with your blessings. I think that's the objective. HR is kind of on the hook, because they told you the policy and they aren't following it. So both the doctor and HR are squirming now. It's a mess.

Say as little as possible, write everything down. TBH. I personally would not be comfortable with this, and would tell HR so. Why do they need you all there together? Seems very juvenile to me, like grade school. I understand you have a responsibility as an employee, but it doesn't require you to be face to face with someone who damaged your property . I agree with cabanafrau..say very little and excuse yourself. It is also Friday which is very convenient for them so that you cannot contact them over the weekend etc ..the whole thing has flags going off for me.

ETA: my HR department would no way have 2 parties in there together if they needed to speak to them...unless BOTH parties requested such meeting. This is all kinda odd to me

The main thing is to get everyone agreeing to cooperate with your insurance company and get your car fixed without anything out of your pocket and not on your record. Also no contact except through the insurance company.