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THERAPISTS

When incest is disclosed, a mother’s life is shattered as quickly as snapping your finger. Life will never be the same. The disclosure of incest has many ramifications. Mothers are dropped into a foreign territory. Agencies intervene in the family. Mothers are confused, shock and suffering. Mothers are secondary victims and, as such, require support, resources and information.

The first and most important action a mother can take to survive this tragedy is find the right therapist; a therapist who works with incest families and supports mothers. Interview the therapists and ask specific questions about their views on mothers. Not all therapists are equal. Therapist can lean heavily emotionally toward the victim and, in some cases, may support the prevailing myths and stereotypes about mothers; specifically that mothers are to blame or responsible for the sexual abuse. This attitude is not helpful to mothers.

Most importantly, seek a therapist that is not connected with the victim or siblings. It is important to have someone who is there only for you.

Unfortunately there are few support groups for mothers of an incested child. Mother Haven encourages mothers to form support groups in their community. We provide information and models to organize a group in your community. You are not alone. There are millions of mothers who have been impacted by incest.

Mother Haven maintains a list of therapists who have experience working with incest families and support the mother. For referrals to therapists in your area, contact Mother Haven.

Incest is a tragedy impacting every aspect of a mother’s life. It is important to have support while coping with this trauma.