As "politically incorrect" as this sounds, sometimes the best way for me to help you wrap your head around the reality of who you are is to say some offensive and hard to hear truths which you may not want to hear.

For example, you are not the center of the universe. I know sometimes it can feel like you are, especially when social media is built to make you believe you are the main character in your own movie. The truth is there are 7.5 billion other souls running around the planet at this very minute. And, you're just one of them. This is humbling and sobering but so so good to remember.

Statistically speaking, only three out of ten of you reading this post are living a life congruent with your values. Which means most of you are unhappy, unfulfilled and simply going through the motions. If you're in the majority, don't lose heart. The fact the minority are living a significant life means it's possible for you, too.

Another confronting truth: you probably believe a lot of things about yourself which aren't true. If I were to ask your friends, coworkers, and peers how stable, curious, friendly, dependable and emotionally intelligent you are I guarantee they would rate you differently than you would score yourself. Why? A little thing called blind spots. Outside insight goes a long way in helping you grow in self-awareness.

This one hurts me to even write because it hits so close to home. You aren't as intelligent or generous as you think you are. Gosh dangit, I hate this about myself. It's a little thing called bias, and you're probably as ignorant as I am when it comes to being a victim of your own overestimation. When you're flying blind to yourself, others can clearly see what you need. It's paramount to ask them to point out what you're not seeing.

Finally, you actively (and subconsciously) avoid situations where you'll be faced with honest feedback. Avoidance 101. It's easier to go through life in ignorance than it is to take the time to ask for help. Which is really what this post is all about.

Here's my point:

Most times in life if you want to truly grow - you almost always have to go out of your way to hear offensive and ego-shattering truths from people who genuinely care about you.

After all, wounds from a friend can be trusted.

And, this won't work if you're not teachable, open, or honest with yourself.

But, if you have the courage to ask for help, you will be gaining significant insight into who you are and the exact behaviors, bad habits, and misbeliefs holding you back in life.

Here's to no longer running around in the dark...

Steve Knox

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