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8 Secret Ways to Not Look Like a Crazy Hot Mess

Being a mom is hard work. Spending your
days surrounded by other people’s fecal matter, with dried spit-up on your
shirt and stale Cheerios lining the interior of your car, it’s definitely
anything but glamorous. Sure, it’s a messy job and one that can drive you crazy
most days, but it’s also the most rewarding one I can think of. And we all know
the good far outweighs the bad.

With that said, just because internally we may
be going insane more often than not, we as moms don’t want that to show on the
outside. So today I’m sharing all of the secret ways to not look like a crazy
hot mess. It’s possible! It is. And once you follow these guidelines, you’ll
have people asking you, "How do you always look so put together?!" in no time!

Nobody has
to know that your hair was a greasy knotted mess two hours ago when you woke up.
Spritz on that dry shampoo, scrunch, brush and repeat as many times as
necessary throughout the day/week. See also: nobody needs to know the last time
you actually washed your hair.

2. Wear a hat!

When all else fails and
your hair just will not cooperate, no matter how much dry shampoo you piled on, just put a hat on it. A cute hat, whether it be a
baseball hat (sporty mom!) or a wide-brim fedora (so on trend!) is part of any
good mom ensemble.

I am
never, ever, ever, for the sake of sanity, above bribery to get kids to behave
in public.

3. Pack extra clothes.

For you and your
kids. Stain on your shirt? Not a problem, you have an extra! Kid peed his
pants? No worries, you’ve got an extra pair! Always be prepared, no matter
where you are or what happens to you.

4. Wear concealer!

Because yes, you got
roughly two hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, and yes, the bags under your
eyes reveal that fact to the world, but nobody needs to know that. Cover them
up with a swipe of concealer and some mascara, and you’re good to go!

Just all of the
coffee. If an IV was possible, I would suggest that, but I suppose a Starbucks
card will suffice. Or a Nespresso. Those are neat too.

6. Wear the babies.

If you have more
than one, and one of those is a baby, invest in a baby carrier of some sort and
wear her! Having your hands free is a total game changer. You’ll actually be
able to do things—like brush your hair and get yourself ready!

7. Always have reinforcements.

I am
never, ever, ever, for the sake of sanity, above bribery to get kids to behave
in public. I like to think of it more as "positive reinforcements" or
"motivators" rather than "bribes" but call it what you will: it works. So have
the candy or the stickers or whatever it is that makes your kid happy readily
available to allow yourself a 10 minute trip to the grocery store sans
tantrums. I, for on,e will not judge.

8. Never leave the house without baby wipes.

Just don’t do
it. They are seriously multi-purpose. I swear those things can fix anything and
everything. Sticky fingers, spilled drinks, makeup smudges, messy faces and of
course, diaper changes. Never be without the wipes.