Valentine’s Day. Not for everyone.

I can’t remember the last time I was actually in a relationship ON Valentine’s Day. How could I like this nonsensical day? What an excuse to sell everything to giddy couples in love.

Hey, if you like it, great. Enjoy the flowers, chocolates, cards, your romantic dinner, I’m happy for you, and I’ma let you finish, but Anti-Valentine’s Day Singles Parties are the best idea since the musical greeting card. Scratch that. Those cards are irritating..

I’m going to my new favorite bar in Brooklyn that I hesitate to share information about because it is too cool and I want it to stay that way, but it’s kind of out of the way so I’m not worried. They are having an anti-V-day party with drink specials, black cupcakes, a shuffleboard tournament, and angry anti-love songs. Bring it.