I thought I'd introduce myself, even though I've already been posting.

I live in the pacific northwest of the United States. A Small town called Corvallis in Oregon, home of Oregon State University. I'm 24 years old. Dropped out of college because my Zen practice was taking off, and in reflection, I decided that an academic education and where that would lead me wouldn't be satisfying.

A few years ago I went through a serious bout of depression and anxiety, mostly affected by my drug experimentation when I was younger. I had a minor stroke on some cocaine that was laced with pcp, and ended up enduring a psychotic episode from that. I think the earnest character of my practice comes from the determination I derived from the teachings of Pema Chodron (even though she's of a Tibetan tradition). I found her very comforting during the trauma that I went though. If any one person could be said to have kept me from indulging my suicidal impulses, it is her.

The last few years have been up and down. I was fascinated with the sophistication of Tibetan philosophy, and that fixation really did detriment to the efficacy of my Zen practice. Created some confusion. I had previously tried to get in with a Nyingma group for Ngondro, but I had a sense that the local lama didn't think my karma was ripe for that. Or whatever.

Thank you for sharing your personal story. I can relate to it on several levels.

What I found particularly interesting was that you said you dropped out of college because your zen practice was taking off. What does that mean exactly? For me it was the opposite. I started falling in love with college because I could study Buddhism among other religions there.

lotwell wrote:Thank you for sharing your personal story. I can relate to it on several levels.

What I found particularly interesting was that you said you dropped out of college because your zen practice was taking off. What does that mean exactly? For me it was the opposite. I started falling in love with college because I could study Buddhism among other religions there.

Lotwell

I see colleges in the way Michel Foucault described them. For all their promise, they are very much stifling and ultra-conservative. I really don't want to go into massive debt in order to have my interests suffocated and my mind narrowed for the sake of some technical specialization, which is what American higher Ed is. I'm motivated to look into a long term monastic training program at a local monastery. I want to explore my potential as a monastic.