November 2014 Featured Band

The Bloody Turncoats

The Bloody Turncoats are an agglomeration of stupidity, ineptitude, and a severe aversion to manual labor. So,
as common sense dictates, we decided that music was our natural outlet.

We hail from Plymouth, MN, a hotbed of punkless bands. The Bloody Turncoats consist of Karl Miller, Dean
Johnson, Morgan Philbrook, and Mike Rasque. Karl, a native of Upper Michigan (amusing), plays the guitar for
us rather poorly. We'd throw him out of the band but he writes most of the songs so we are stuck with him.
Dean Johnson is our drummer (seeing as how I am Dean Johnson I will only write glowing things about me. All of
which are true). He is the most wonderful drummer in the world with a sense of percussive genius and
impeccable groove, yet has no feel for time whatsoever. Morgan Philbrook is our bassist. He plays both the
upright and electronic bass guitar. He looks stunning in a pair of neatly pressed slacks and is a smooth pimp
who loves the ladies though the ladies are luke warm on him. Michael Rasque, our front man, spouts lyrics with
angelic tones. He wears his pants too tight and touching his nipples is strictly forbidden.

Dean and Karl have been playing together for about six years and have recorded three albums, Deathbed
Repentance, Saboteurs, and The Bloody Turncoats Admire Your Skull. Rasque and Morgan came on board more
recently. We are currently working on a new EP, The Bloody Turncoats Are Beautiful, that should be finished
about Septemberish '07. We remain, inexplicably, unsigned.