I killed the Shadow Warrior and Shadow Wizard a while back, I cant get the
steps to go up to allow me access to the place where I get the items to put
in the URNS.

According to a lame walkthrough I downloaded, which sucked, I have to put
the crystals I got from the Shadows I killed into a notch in a room behind
where I killed them . Thats great, as the vague FAQ tells me, but where the
holy SH%&$T is the goddamn little room where I put the crystals in the
notch!!!!!

WHY CANT THIS GAME AT LEAST HIGHLIGHT NOTCHES ON WALLS!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!

does anyone have a damn map where this is located exactly??????????? is it
near the rooms with all the coffins?

The room with the retractable stairs is the room where you will need to place a crystal. It's on one of two available walls, I'm not counting the retracted stairs as a wall.
You will only be able to choose one path so don't get frustrated when the other crystal will not work.