On a side note, ds is now FF, it was a fight every time to get him in the seat, we litterally had to force him in, and he would cry until he hyperventilated and turned blue, even with me soothing him and offering to nurse while still in the seat. So I would end up having to take him out, and nurse him to comfort with him unrestrained. We decided since hes over the age and minimum weight limit for FF, we would try it once, well... it worked, he REQUESTS getting in, and climbs into it himself now.

I think there's an argument to be made that in your car, the kids follow your rules, and meet or exceed the safety expectations set by their parents. Your friend may allow - may even prefer - her child to ride forward facing in her car. In your car, you prefer children to ride backward facing as you feel that is safer. In her car, her child would ride forward facing and yours would ride backward facing, meeting your safety expectations.

Ultimately, I think this is a pretty trivial issue. Kids can adjust to riding different ways in different cars. Parents can make simple explanations. "In our car, you can ride facing forward, but in Aunt Judy's car, you're safer if you face the back." I would not be bothered by someone wanting my kid to ride differently in their car than I allow in mine, provided I didn't feel that my child's safety was compromised by the change.

The child in question is three, so there is some wiggle room here, I would definitely would try and negotiate with the child regarding RF if they were under 35 lbs. Plus, they'll be able to see the other child RF and bemoan their RF plight together so they might not freak out too badly.

IMO, if I could talk the child into RF without hysterical screaming and minor compromises like mirrors or silly songs then I would do it.

I do have OCD and get a little crazy when it comes to car safety. My seatbelt saved my life three years ago.

You can't predict what will happen. Someone fell asleep at the wheel and plowed into me on the highway.

RF did bother my dd for a time and we placed several mirrors on the ceiling of our car for her to watch.

I would be, because there were very distinct reasons behind us going FF, and this mom may have them to, and just not want to tell the whole story.

A parent should feel be willing to explain things to someone who is going to have the responsibility of caring for their child. I haven't ever watched a child and not known their life story..but they were always my friend's kids so explanations weren't necessary.

If you want someone to be aware of the needs of your child then one would have to explain and be willing to explain so they can get the care that best suits them.

A parent should feel be willing to explain things to someone who is going to have the responsibility of caring for their child. I haven't ever watched a child and not known their life story..but they were always my friend's kids so explanations weren't necessary.

If you want someone to be aware of the needs of your child then one would have to explain and be willing to explain so they can get the care that best suits them.

this is true, but maybe shes just a private person..... either way, it was just a maybe, it might not be in this situation, but I think its a good thing to rememeber in future times when you are looking after anyones kids.

this is true, but maybe shes just a private person..... either way, it was just a maybe, it might not be in this situation, but I think its a good thing to rememeber in future times when you are looking after anyones kids.

If someone wants me to look after their kids, and they are expressingly asking me to do something that isn't even CLOSE to best practice in terms of safety, they'd better have a reason. "Private person" isn't going to cut it.

this is true, but maybe shes just a private person..... either way, it was just a maybe, it might not be in this situation, but I think its a good thing to rememeber in future times when you are looking after anyones kids.

Um, no if I am looking after someone's kids I want to be able to give them the care they require.

Every child is different and any reasonable person would try and do what they could to meet a child's needs if they were in their care. If someone isn't willing to provide me with the information I would be upset.

Say a child has a horrific fear of monkeys and I take them to the zoo, of course we are going to see all the apes. So, child gets hysterical and freaks, I mention it and THEN parent informs me they hate monkeys, well I am going to be angry because the whole situation could have been avoided in the first place, I wouldn't drag monkey hating children off to see the apes.

I do sometimes watch people's kids, but I have known them all for years so I have never had this problem. If I was watching a new acquaintances child I would require all the information I might need.

AP is about meeting the individual needs of the child. If someone is going to withhold information from me, thus taking away my ability to do that, then that wouldn't be fair to me or the child.

When I watch a friend's child, I let the parent decide how their kid will ride. Most people turn their kids around really early, at 12-18 mos. My 19 mo. old will be rfing for a long time and hopefully people will learn from the example we set. I do insist on booster seats in my car for 4-10 yr. old kids too short for the seatbelt, even if they've been out of a booster for years. The rule in my car is that everyone has to be secured to at least a certain safety minimum, whether that is a RFing carseat under 1/20 lbs (honestly, I'd say under 18 mos. but it has never come up), harness under 4, and booster seat until they fit right in the seatbelt. And seatbelts for all (I had to force my own mother to wear one when I visited last weekend!) But beyond the minimum all we can do is suggest a better way.
If you do turn the seat RFing, you'll probably have to change the harness height.

I have a question- how do you FIT a child who's that big (almost three- much taller than an infant) in a rear-facing position? I've never heard of that. As soon as my son was 20 pounds and a year (or whatever it is- it's been 11 years since I had to remember), I flipped him to forward facing. He wasn't a tall baby- he was average, but his legs and feet would get all crunched up and he was miserable.

My daughter rode rearfacing until she got too heavy to do so. She was over 3 years old at the time. She either crossed her legs or just bent her knees. Children are quite comfortable in that position. We know, because kids who are rearfacing at 3 years old can tell us so!

I have a question- how do you FIT a child who's that big (almost three- much taller than an infant) in a rear-facing position? I've never heard of that. As soon as my son was 20 pounds and a year (or whatever it is- it's been 11 years since I had to remember), I flipped him to forward facing. He wasn't a tall baby- he was average, but his legs and feet would get all crunched up and he was miserable.

That being asked, if he's within the law's requirements, I don't think there's anything you can do about it but to tell his Mother that you're not comfortable with him forward facing. Maybe you can make it a game with the little boy and your daugher- count birds our the rearwiew window or something like that?

I know you've been bombarded already. I just thought this website with pictures of kids RF beyond the 1yr/20lb mark & a page with the reasons why might be nice to look athttp://www.cpsafety.com/

My daughter rode rearfacing until she got too heavy to do so. She was over 3 years old at the time. She either crossed her legs or just bent her knees. Children are quite comfortable in that position. We know, because kids who are rearfacing at 3 years old can tell us so!

I know you've been bombarded already. I just thought this website with pictures of kids RF beyond the 1yr/20lb mark & a page with the reasons why might be nice to look athttp://www.cpsafety.com/

See, this is very good to know, very interesting reading. Until I saw this post, I was unaware that anyone kept their child rear facing after a year and 20 pounds, Actually, to be honest, my son was a baby 12 years ago now, and he SCREAMED and struggled panic-like the entire time he was in his rearfacing car seat- I was praying for the day he turned one (he was 20 pounds at 5 months old, but as uneducated I was, I wasn't DUMB!) and as soon as he was a year old, I flipped him and he loved the car after that. If I had known then what I know now, I would have kept him rear facing longer and dealt with the screaming. My sister will be having her second child around Christmas time. I'm gonna mention it to her and send her a link to the video.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES. Only then, will I know my child is safe.

See, this is very good to know, very interesting reading. Until I saw this post, I was unaware that anyone kept their child rear facing after a year and 20 pounds, Actually, to be honest, my son was a baby 12 years ago now, and he SCREAMED and struggled panic-like the entire time he was in his rearfacing car seat- I was praying for the day he turned one (he was 20 pounds at 5 months old, but as uneducated I was, I wasn't DUMB!) and as soon as he was a year old, I flipped him and he loved the car after that. If I had known then what I know now, I would have kept him rear facing longer and dealt with the screaming. My sister will be having her second child around Christmas time. I'm gonna mention it to her and send her a link to the video.

You're so welcome, always happy to spread the word. My daughter didn't like being rearfacing either. She said she wasn't physically uncomfortable, she just wanted to sit like mom and see where we were going. And she did cry about it. But I preferred a pissed off child to a dead one, so I never caved!

Chiming in late here, but I would definately tell her that in YOUR car, everyone rides as safely as possible, and for that child, RF is the safest. Period. I've done it with friends whose kids have ridden with us (including making a 6yo ride in a harnessed seat when she's used to a backless booster) and it's not always pleasant, but I will not compromise the safety of a child to prevent an awkward moment with a friend. And, if you were to be in an accident and that child were injured or killed (internal decapitation is MUCH more likely to happen to a FF child than a RF one), I can't imagine the guilt you'd feel for the rest of your life because you allowed him to ride in a less-safe position.

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!