How much intensity can you put towards life if there is no passion behind it?

If you asked me ten years ago what I wanted to do with my life; I wouldn't be able to express my passion with much conviction. Yes there were things I loved to do, yes I had interests, but I could never see those things as my passion or calling. These days we are looking for instant gratification anywhere we can get it. We want our food cooked in less than 30 minutes, we want to lose weight as fast as possible, and we want an answer to our existence immediately; which often leads to us settling for less than we deserve because we just don't want to "be".

Taking the time to let the universe organically steer you towards your passion would mean you would have to let go of "titles". Often we live, date, marry and die by our title. Saying you're an aspiring actress, student, writer, or model sounds better than "I'm still figuring it out" to most people. So we live in a state of keeping up appearances, and seeking instant gratification instead of staying true to ourselves.

One day I woke up and decided I was tired of faking myself out. I had to ask myself if being a Psychiatrist [I was a psych major] was a passion of mine, or if I succumbed to my own fear that I wouldn't amount to anything if I hadn't figured out my life by a certain age. Who determines the age threshold for having it all figured out anyway? - That fateful day I decided I wanted to do something with my life that ignited a fire from within, versus a job that gave "great pay and good benefits". I didn't care if it didn't have a fancy title, didn't care if it didn't pay 6 figures and most importantly, I didn't care what others thought. It was on that day that I understood that passion is the driving force for longevity.

Passion will ensure that your path towards living your dream remains illuminated even in times of adversity and self-doubt.

The next few weeks I will dedicate a series of posts geared towards finding and claiming your passion. Get your notebooks and pens ready and lets all take this journey together. - Before we begin however, there are a few things you must let go of in order to dig deep inside yourself and be ok with what you discover.

You will first need to let go of your attachment to time. Worrying about when you have your epiphany will only cause anxiety and may force you to act out of desperation if you feel "time is running out". Instead, believe that the time you spend during this introspective period is an important part of personal growth and you will be rewarded with a solid mind and indispensable tools like patience, diligence and perseverance.

Be passionate about what makes you happy, not the amount of zeros on your check stub.For this you will need to let go of thinking a certain dollar amount will buy you happiness. What this means is that you should pursue your passion based on how fulfilling it is, not based on the salary or perks. Do not block your blessings by placing unnecessary restrictions on what you will or will not do. The power of passion coupled with positive thoughts and most importantly action,will cause a paradigm shift in your life. This means that if you're intentions are true and your mind is focused, the universe will supply you with everything you need in abundance. Walk in faith, and trust the most high on this one.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let go of your ego. So your friends are all college graduates, your brother is in grad school, and your boyfriend just passed the bar. Your ego may want you to keep up. Your ego doesn't want to be left behind. Your ego wants bragging rights too. Understand that those are their paths and yours may be uniquely different. Never follow someone else's blueprint as each person has their own purpose in life. Allow yourself to detach from the opinions of others while you take the journey through self exploration.

I found these beautiful images on weheartit - I picked them for the post to show just how beautiful different paths can be. Each path is uniquely different yet beautiful in it's own right like you and me.

78 comments:

I have to say THANK YOU for this post today! Man, if this is not where I am at this exact moment: Wrestling with self about where I'm "supposed" to be and what I'm "supposed" to have, and thinking "has time run out?"

I will have my pen & journal ready for the upcoming journey into self!

I really appreciate this post. I've been freelancing as a makeup artist for the past couple of years which is my passion, but for some reason earlier this year I felt like I needed "something stable with benefits" and applied for a job as an admissions rep at a college. I got my own office, a nice yearly salary but in about a month I completly lost interest and began resenting it. I found myself skipping work to work on makeup gigs and being upset when I had to turn things down due to my work schedule - I was miserable for 6 months while working at this place...about a month ago I decided that I wasn't going to surpress my creativity to work for a company that didn't even care about me. I gave them my 2 weeks notice and they let me go about 5 minutes later...at that point, I realized that I'd made the right decision. In the past month I've been doing makeup gigs again and I'm sooo happy. I don't have benefits but creative wise, I feel so alive and am having the time of my life. I couldn't fake doing something that I didn't love - once in a while I'll get flack from my family for leaving a job so "safe", but I'm confident in my choice - I will continue to focus and further foster my passion

Jesus Christ Nikole! You never cease to amaze me, your words are truly palpable and this post was incredibly touching and real. I am just enamored by your ability to transcribe your thoughts into words that are so incredibly inspiring. May you continue to be blessed.

This post is beyond that of an emotional touch point. It is poignant and visceral to the core for anyone seeking growth and/or internal questioning of their own purpose and passion. Thank you for being "right on time" with such a thoughtful post and for sharing part of your own personal journey with your readers. Regardless of what stage of growth anyone is, an exercise such as this is always purposeful. Like so many others, I'll have my pen and paper ready! Many blessings!

I'm looking forward to these posts in the weeks to come. Lately I've been worried about finding about what I actually want to do in lie. I'm graduating in less than a year, but I am not passionate about my major!

“One day I woke up and decided I was tired of faking myself out.” Wow! Thank you for this post. I visit your blog frequently and today I’m so glad I did. I need this! At 26 years old I have been working a job with good benefits and good pay, but I feel so unfulfilled. I’m obviously not passionate about it and the fear of what my parents will say or what others think is constantly haunting me. Thank you for your words they have really encouraged me. “Never follow someone else's blueprint as each person has their own purpose in life.” Double WOW! *with tears in my eyes* Passion here I come! Thank you!

Nikole, thank you. You are so correct. I often get caught up in what happens if this does not make me money etc. etc. Living in peace, love and harmony with myself is the ultimate goal. Ahhhh I have some inner work to do. Thank you for this post.

I LOVE THIS POST!"Taking the time to let the universe organically steer you towards your passion would mean you would have to let go of "titles"." So many things were said that speak a beauty in truth.

I was a bit teary eyed actually and felt like I'd just listened to a sermon from a great teacher (which you are). I read a lot of your spirituality posts and I now understand why you exude such confidence, elegance and inner beauty. You are truly FREE. You have given yourself TIME to grow!!! You have given God the opportunity to amaze you- something we often rob him off with FAKE expectations. Thanks a lot for your post today. I'll probably re-read from time to time.

You were supposed to write this post on this day and I was supposed to read it at this time. It's something that I have been wrestling with for the past year or so and most recent a statement that my supervisor made to me (which I know was not made out of malice but nonetheless let me know that what I am currently doing is not something that I can continue to do and I've come to this realization after 14 yrs with this company) just today I went out and bought a journal to start setting some goals. So needless to say when I read this post it confirmed that someone is trying to tell me something.

omg i needed this. i just graduated from undergrad and i'm still trying to figure out what exactly i want to do with myself and seeing my friends and peers knowing what they want (or at least thinking they do) and going on to more school or careers has been stressing me out lately. i wanna be fancy too! but in due time...i'll get there.

Thank you so much this! While I personally feel like a failure for not getting my college degree, I feel like I've more than made up for it in so many other ways. It's still a struggle letting go of those feelings, so I look forward to this series with great anticipation:D

Awesome post! As a twenty-something, I'm still searching for my passion. I feel like I keep figuring out what I don't want, and it's quite frustrating, but I'm also grateful that at least I'm considering what will/may bring me true happiness.

Beautiful thoughts. I have spent the past years thinking about what you write in this post and trying to destroy a passion that I have had since I was born. Surprisingly it's still there, alive and waiting for me. My lesson is that life cannot be loved without a dose of freedom of mind. Because of how society is structured, we often feel forced to apologize because we have a passion, and we create big empty spaces in our soul. We loose the ability to inspire other people, and our own source of inspiration. Passion is now, to me, a value.

Thank you so much for this! I feel like I fell upon your post by fate. This is all I needed to hear to ensure that my journey into finding my passion starts now....thank you and great blessings to you and yours

Thank you for this post today, I'm excited about the direction you are taking your blog. After grappling for a good while with self doubt and feelings of failure despite learning that I've just gained my postgraduate degree. I have come to realise that it is my own expectations that I am failing to meet as I'm sure others would view me as being successful. I have been putting undue pressure on myself to achieve what I have felt would be viewed by others as success; whereas I should allow for time to let life happen organically, really listen to my own needs and ultimately enjoy the process over the final outcome. So again thank you for this, as I am sure this is just the beginning of learning self value and rediscovering passion for me

Hi Nikole! These are my favorite MTM posts (with the yummy food posts in close second!) :) I worked for a corporate design firm for many years, and all the while, I was absolutely miserable. I had an amazing salary, but dreaded going to work because I totally did not fit in to faux liberal, we love you but secretly hate you, creative culture. The vibe was sucking the life out of me & my love for the profession that I adored since childhood. My peers at this job were literally having nervous break-downs & significant health issues because the environment was insanely stressful. On my last day at that job, I thanked the heavenly stars, went home & danced a happy dance to "Freedom Is Coming Tomorrow" from Serafina! Coinciding with this time, I started doing "cosmic ordering" - Its essentially Universal Law, but cosmic ordering challenges you to specifically name what you want in life, in great detail, with calendar dates. At that point you positively allow the Universe to manifest what you desire. Kind of like The Alchemist, by Paulo Cuelho. It may sound hella cheesy, but I kid you not - it works! Since shedding the corporate "safety net" I've found that I was soooooo fearful back then, and now I am completely fearless because I know that the Universe has got me. I am faithful to the zillionth power. And I am now able to focus solely on MY path - the things I want to accomplish in MY life. My biggest motivation is now my 6-month old son and inherently wanting to be a shining example of greatness - fulfilling my purpose wholly - And inturn giving him the best life possible because I am joyous! Lastly, there's this video of Will Smith interviews on youtube.... This video makes me high on life every time I watch it. To quote Will, "Just decide what its gonna be, who you are gonna be, how you are gonna do it - Just decide, And from that point, the Universe is gonna get out of your way". Words to live by!! Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLN2k0b3g70

A timely post. Thank you for being such a blessing. I have been feeling this way for a while and did not understand what was going on with myself. You put so much thought into your postings and it is appreciated.

Wow! This post is so profound and I can definitely relate. I'm currently seeking to switch careers and at a point where I'm open to exploring new areas so this is right on time for me. I'm super excited to see what you have in store!

At 27, you keep hearing that life is too short not to be fulfilling your purpose/passion so this one is gonna be a challenge :-/

The only thing that has helped me to let go of the dollar amount was getting rid of my debt (yay!)and applying what I read in "I Will Teach You To Be Rich"

The ego has dwindled a little, I've gotten used to the reaction when people find out I studied Engineering but don't work in that field today. In the DC area though, everyone is fascinated by titles so this would be another challenge for me as well.

Funny how everytime I visit your blog, I find SOMETHING pertaining to my current state. I've found my passion, and I'm in the stage of trying to get to it so this first post of this series was a great reminder of what I need to do to sustain mentally. Yay!

That was an undeniably beautiful post, I was brought to tears because I am a freshman in college at an art school, and it seems like everyone has their art skill and life in order except me. It could just be this way because all of my fellow art school peers are 24-30 years or older (I am by the way 18 years old; it is a severely small percentage of students that are my age at my school) but I still had this deep rooted anxiety that my life and art skill will never catch up to everyone else in my school. You have expressed how I have felt ever since I started college thus far. Thank you so much moptopmaven for posting this!!!! You have given me so much insight on how to really pursue my dream no matter how long it takes. :o)

This post is exactly what I needed to hear, especially the part about timing. I know that an awesome path lays out before me, but gosh darn it if I don't want to be at the destination NOW, lol! In any case, I look forward to taking part in this series.

I have been hesistant to comment on your posts! but I must on this one. This is the truth you've written. I am at this place where I am trying to decide what my purpose is. It has been difficult especially with very expectant parents, family and community. Thank you so much!!!

Beautiful post :) I'm wondering what my top few passions are because I don't think we only get one for life..we have options! I'm exploring different things and it's pretty exciting. Our own fears of rejection, failure, negative commentary keep us back..but we all know we gotta push past it and go for it. Thanks for reminding us of that!

I really can not wait for the rest! Im a junior in college amd everbody's like its too late to change your mind on what you want to do because you should know this by now. Yea I thought I wanted to be a journalist but soon realized that wasn't for me & out of desperation and a lack of majors to choose from, I'm now an elementary education major...and Im really feeling so-so about it...like I'd rather be making something..IDK what to do tho.So this is well needed.Thank you and you have a great blog!

Like so many others, I was just stressing over my current status in life and how I didn't have time to not know who/where/what I wanted to be. I just turned twenty, so seeing all of my former friends doing so well in life at such a young age made me feel inferior. I would even look at you and think "why can't I be like that?". This post has brought another perspective to the equation and it's really lifted a bit of the weight. So thank you for that.

Love post and I needed it. As I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life (MA program, work, family, and extra-curricular activities) I am beginning to wonder if it is all truly worth it and if I am doing what I need to be doing to live the type of life I want to be leading. At this time, I see my MA as a stopping point in order to reassess life and figure out where to go from here. I look forward to reading your posts on this subject and thank you for your words of wisdom. Live, Love, Peace. ~OrganicallyGrownCurls

Normally I don't come to hair/fashion blogs for personal improvement beyond the shallow (hair and fashion). Honestly, I tend to skip over such posts. But today, for reasons that I won't share, I read this one and really felt it. Not sure that will be the case going forward but just for today I want to say: Thank you. :)

Thanks MopTopMaven for posting this...I really needed to read this today, because recently I made a big decision to leave college and take some time to really figure out what I really want to do with my life."Allow yourself to detach from the opinions of others while you take the journey through self exploration." I really needed to read this line. Everyone seems to be so against my decision, but in the end, I have to be HAPPY!!!!Thanks for posting this

I can't believe you wanted to be a psychiatrist too. You're like my twin! I did peep some books you recommended some time ago and I figured you might be into psych. I'm glad you touched on this topic. Honestly though, people fail to realize that each of us are all on different paths. Many people define their lives by their success or happiness. There is no perfect map for success; instead there are a myriad of ways that one can achieve success. I think that some blame can be placed on our human nature. We get in the way of ourselves and our life paths when we covet, base and compare our lives off of someone else's. We also disrupt our life's flow by doing what we think others want us to do. And remember that life doesn't have to be defined by success or happiness. What about giving and loving? Loving ourselves..loving others. I think these two actions (giving and loving) should be held in high esteem when defining or trying to figure out your life paths. Yes that occupation may be a 6 figure job, that car loan may get you a nicer car but will it get in the way of your committing to simple but meaningful acts in life, like giving and loving? We've gotta be careful about how we define success. Our definition just may be our nemesis. Lose the titles and embrace the passion. Moptop you should do a lot more of these posts :)

Wise words! Our society is too tied to titles and dollars. It's about doing what you are gifted to do because it's through using those gifts that you'll be able to truly make a difference. Making a difference and not drowning ourselves in selfish dreams of wealth and material comfort is what we really need. Great post!

Oh wow. You are talking to me AGAIN lol. I fell off the wagon and have been having much anxiety because I know what I should be doing and yet am doign the opposite thing. It's my ego :( I shall be here paper, pen, ears and soul ready to grow. Thank you

Wow, you really hit the nail on the head with this one. I literally got chills as I read this post because I felt as though you were directly speaking to me. I've been following your blog for a couple of months now and continue to be inspired by your posts, you always leave everything on such a positive note, but this post in particular really touched me. I relocated from Los Angeles to New York a little over a year ago and while I thought I was moving here to pursue my modeling career, I later realized that I came here to find myself. I'd like to take this time to thank you for your inspirational words, from this point on I'm going to change my outlook and know that my path is different from others and that the track that I'm on is the one I'm supposed to be on. I am now releasing my ego, it'll never get me anywhere except for right where I already am.

Thank you for not only sharing the hard moments of your life but for also offering inspiration and making sure that you are affecting the lives of your readers in a positive way. We look towards you for motivation towards our own personal goals!

I absolutely love this post! This is where I'm at right now. You're right. So often we move on to "the next big thing" without truly finding out what God has called us to do. We're often in such a hurry that we don't take the time to listen to Him and find out what He created us to be, not even what we were created to do. Thanks so much for posting this. The world, including me, needed to hear it.

this is a great post. I read everyone's response and it amazes me how you touch people from all walks of life. I am an RN. I have a passion for cooking and want to start a non profit to help guide young girls ages 13 to 18, but just cant quite connect the dots to those paths (financially). I will oneday start small and eventually find my way. thanks

thank you for this post. As a psych major as well, I skipped out on being a therapist to become a teacher. Now that I am in Grad school, I feel like I'm losing my interest in teaching and more interested in children's thought processes and maybe even children with special needs. Just like many of the women on here ready for this journey or more vivid discovery of self, I am also ready to embark on this voyage.

This post just reminds me of how much God loves and talks to me thru avenues I don't expect. I recently finished my Associates degree while working full time and I'm 31 years old but I feel like all I hear from my family is "that's great when are you going back for your Bachelors?" It was making me feel like the last 2 years was for nothing and I wasn't really appreciating my accomplishment. Thanks for reminding me it's not about what others want from you but what you do to make yourself fulfilled and happy. Thanks so much!

You never know how something you say or do or in your case type can speak to someone so deeply. This is exactly why I love your blog...you speak to more than just the part of us that wants to look good, you speak to the part of us that wants to feel and do good too. Blessings to you Nikole...you are living out your purpose.

This is a beautiful post, well written. After years of searching & trying to catch up with everyone else, I finally learned to focus on me & to take my time. Thats what my blog is about. I cant wait to read the continuation of this topic.

Wow! What a timely post. I turned 40 earlier this year and have been teaching for the last 13. I am also completing a doctorate, and know that it's time to move on, but I am unsure where to. As I pray and seek God's guidance, your posts will be definitely useful.

Yes Yes Thank you very much! i've been slacking on following your blog (forgive me) =). But i must definitely say that this post was directed to me! i'm a psych major and often times i think about becoming a psychiatrist, but i can't say i have a passion for it. I do love helping people, talking to people, giving them advice, and learning from my advice and their experiences. I'm at that point in my life where i've beating myself up by comparing others life to mine (totally wrong) because all fingers are not equal, but we live and learn right? and i'm still a working progress. So i'm gonna cut this short and say Thanks for waking me up! and i pray i don't fall back asleep on this.

This post hit me hard!...I l o v e d it from start to finish. Living a life without passion isn't living a life at all—living (waiting) to die (for life to be over.) Living life as if it is a task and not a pleasure...I'm proud to say that "I'm still figuring it out" now!

I read this and I HAD to comment. Right now I'm 21 years old, most of my friends know what they want out of life and are in College. I have yet to figure out my calling and everyday I'm stressed and feel like I'm running out of time. Just this weekend I sat down and looked at all these career paths that I should consider but none of them are my passion. My fried even told me don't take to long to figure it out and I honestly thought to myself? am I a ticking time bomb? why the hurry? why must I choose what I want to do quickly just to end up really hating what I do? reading this inspire me to look at what I love rather than how much money it makes and to have bragging rights because at the end of the day happiness is most important. What you wrote is so inspiring I could cry lol.