Marital Problems Arise From Living Situation For This Couple

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Read my advice column, Love Essentially, where I offer advice to a woman having marital problems due to her sister-in-law, who is living with them.

Three Is A Crowd For This Married Couple And His Sister by Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press

Marriage isn’t easy. Just ask a married person. Even the happiest of couples have their issues. But can you imagine trying to maintain a healthy marriage with your sister-in-law living in the next room? That’s the situation of this reader:

Jackie, I’ve been with my current husband for seven years, since the age of 20. I moved in with him three years ago while he and he sister lived together. I always expressed that I did not want to stay in the apartment with his sister for long, and hoped to move out together. I’m now 27 and we are still here. I’m fed up with this lifestyle. I want my own space and our own home. His sister often cooks and I feel obligated to be respectful. I don’t bring friends over and I usually go out by myself. I have fallen out of love with my husband as I feel this has interfered with our intimacy. My husband is kind and he loves me, but he is antisocial. Lately I have pushed him away so much that he is very angry, but I am as well. He wants a child but there’s no room for one. He just doesn’t seem to understand that I want to experience life independently and free of family and in-laws! Any advice?

My gut reaction is that I feel very sad for all three of these roommates. Let’s start with the sister. She sounds like she is in a comfort zone, and possibly socially dependent on her brother and sister-in-law. As for the couple, they seem like they have marital issues that go way beyond their living situation.