War is supposed to be serious business, right? Well, not according to German WWII technical writers who turned their thick and boring tank manuals for "Tiger" & "Panther" tanks into some sort of a "Popular Science"/"Playboy"/comic book combination.

These juicy manuals proved to be so popular, that they were even translated into Russian language and read throughout the Soviet Army tank corps. Let me show you a couple of genuine Nazi tank manuals, and see if you can learn something from them in a fun and accessible manner.

Tiger Tank Manual, 1943

The German "Tiger" Tank was introduced in August 1942, at the time being the most powerful tank in the world. The success of the Tiger was so profound, that no Allied tank dared to engage it in open combat. This psychological fear soon became to be known as "Tigerphobia". Drivers inside the tank, in the meantime could peruse the following instructions:

Diving the "Tiger" is a prestigious business, similar to driving a "Mercedes":

Driving on highways will get you as far as Berlin, but if you go off-road you'll only get as far as Brandenburg - and it's going to take a lot of fuel! -

Good communication is essential for "having a good-time", in peaceful times as well as during wartime:

You should take good care of your tank shells, just as you take good care of your girl:

Good aim is everything! -

You have to be a certain kind of artist in your heart, to drive a tank:

Aiming your shots right will bring Ivan to his knees faster:

When preparing to shoot, note how fast you're going:

Take good care of your tank! Thousands of German workers toiled endlessly to make sure that you get a top quality product, and after all, German engineering, as we all know, does not come cheap:

"Captured Panthers proved to be extremely popular vehicles among Soviet troops, who received them as rewards for extraordinary achievements in combat, and who sought to keep them in service as long as possible..."

"... contrary to regulations that captured Tigers and Panthers should not be repaired but abandoned and destroyed after mechanical failure. Even the humorous instruction manuals for German Panther crews, called Pantherfibels (a Panther Primer), were duly translated into Russian and provided to the crews lucky enough to get a captured Panther." (more info)

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26 Comments:

Nazi Tanks? I never knew Tanks could have a political view. Maybe you meant German tanks! Just like an American Soldier isn't a Republican soldier doesn't mean all Germans were Nazis, they can have a good sense of humor indeed.

I recommend a look at the Luftwaffe's 1944 gunnery manual for fighter pilots, the "Schiessfiebel" as approved by famous General Adolf Galland. It abounds in drawings of scantily clad or nude females, accompanied by rhymed instructions, e.g. to explain such concepts as "aspect angle".

I'm sure by 44 the Germans were running a little short on humor, but I could see them being a little cocky in 42 after easily taking over europe, and quickly advancing in Russia. The manual clearly shows how the Germans thought they were invincible.

I think it was during the Vietnam war that the US Army started publishing PM magazine. It was a cartoon-like magazine full of tips for keeping your weapons and equipment in good working order. At that time the cartoons showed Connie (a 40DD Blonde) and Bonnie (a 40DD black girl) showing how to perform the maintenance. They were often very scantily clad (think Daisy Dukes outfits) as well. Since then PM has cleaned up. Bonnie and Connie have nad breast reductions (34B?) and they have added other characters like a grizzled maintenance NCO, a dashing young aviator, etc. Sigh, those were the days!

DarExc said:"Just like an American Soldier isn't a Republican soldier" Huh?Aren't you talking about the biggest bureaucracy going? the vast majority of those running the armed forces are Dems...They LOVE big out of control branches of government!

Two words: Will Eisner. Now to explain them: America's greatest comics artist, the inventor of the graphic novel, he whose name is that of the highest honor in comics, for decades made his primary living by illustrating US military training manuals. Interestingly, his weren't nearly as goofy as these...

According to Missy Vasiltchikoff,author of "The Berlin Diaries",Berliners were known for their lively sense of humor. Her book of being a Russian aristocrat reduced to working for the Nazis and enduring the WW2 bombings is one of the bestof the many WW2 books.