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How I Wasted My Life

Here is how I wasted my life. I put off doing things that are meaningful in lieu of pleasure.

I remember being in college and I drank heavily in college. I would joke and laugh about how awesome it was to get high or drunk or whatever. I would say that ‘Hey, we need to party now because in the future we will have to be responsible.’ I didn’t see my actions as sowing seeds for the future. I thought I had plenty of time.

In the meantime, I was passing over the opportunity for an education. I graduated from college, but I didn’t have the knowledge. I didn’t think it mattered. Turns out it did.

In my working life, I made some considerable strides in my career, but at the same time, I was lazy. I though I could coast. I was lazy. In the end, I left my job because I knew I wasn’t doing my best. I said it was because of my bipolar diagnosis, but in truth it was a lack of ambition.

For the past 4 years I’ve been trying to catch up. I can’t get a job. I’ve been studying and sharpening my skills and I’ve been realizing what it was that I gave up when I left the workforce. The times of being the grasshopper are upon me. The winter is coming and I have nothing stored up for the future.

My only hope is in the Lord. He’s the one who redeems. He can redeem my life. Maybe I will pay in my consequences for the rest of my life, but I don’t think so. I think my savior will come for me. And I’m grateful.