Thursday, July 5, 2012

The night before going to Terengganu

Everytime before going outstation, I will sure suffer insomnia. Keep thinking of nonsense like "how if my dad doesn't let me go at the last minute? how if my hand hurts? how if my car spoils?" and the how if goes on. You know right? I used to be negative minded person.

So tomorrow will be the day me and Keat Hwa departing to Terengganu for band competition. I'm not sure how long will be the journey, but it seems so long, I know it will be a long journey. =] To make sure I will be comfortable with the band, I keep comforting myself by listening to the calming song, again, which is "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran. I'm not sure about the meaning of the lyrics, but the melody is simply calming.

Today was a tough day for me. Due to my wrist was hurt, my sister helped me to wash my clothes on these few days. One of my beloved yellow top was being tinted by other color, and I went like mad. Sigh. I know what over is over, but I couldn't take it when seeing my new cloth turned into garbage. Then my eldest sister saw it and comforted me by saying will buy me a new cloth. That's not what I actually wanted, I was just expressing my emotion that's all, not I want to get something from them.

After few hours only I felt better by going out with a friend. Sharing is always useful for reducing the stress and bad feelings. Sometimes life just needs you to be more patient, if you can't settle it, tell it to your best and trusted friend, there must be a way to lighten your burden. A good listener will give you a really good advice.Besides that, he/she also will remind you about the real thing you should concentrate in, but not something unrelated such as a RM36 top. I know by RM36, you might can do a lot with it, but I'm sure there must be something more valuable than that.

After the so called sharing session with my buddy, I realized that I really need to improve my EQ to be a better person. I was so down just now just because of that tinted top, my mind kept telling myself "that is my favourite top! that is my favourite top!". Ok, I was non stop crying as well and blaming my sister. I'm crazy right? I get so stubborn when comes to my favourite thing. Like what kids usually do. Sitting on the floor, crying and want that favourite thing back. A 24-years-old kid just did that today.

I always hope myself can be good, not just a good friend but also a good daughter，good senior, good colleague... I always remind myself, that time is something very precious. When I go on leave because of band, some people might think, how come I do this. I would like to explain it here, I know I'm too old for band now, and I'm suffering very big generation gap with the juniors. But do you know band made me grow and it is still something very important to me. That's why I would rather spend my annual leaves with them rather than doing nothing.

I chatted with my colleague yesterday and I told him, actually I was impressed that they can work in the bank for so long time. Seriously, imagine 10+years in bank. The repeating days, months, and years. Indeed the life in bank is really boring, but you are controlling your own life, you have the responsibility to make it interesting, don't you? I told my friend, I don't know how long I can live, but I want to experience everything, and try my best to make every wish possible. So that I will not regret on the day I leave the world. Still that sentence, Live life to the Fullest.

I've decided to accept the truth that my top was being tinted, and it had tinted my day too. Tomorrow I will tint my day in another color, which is having a trip to Terengganu with the band. No matter what is the result later, will promise, must enjoy the trip to the Fullest.