I Woke Up Scared and Angry Today

5am. I haven’t opened my eyes yet. Please God, if you are a good and decent god, make sure that when I open my eyes that Claudia is not in the bed next to me. I want her DOWNSTAIRS and making my coffee. This second. I don’t care that she has Lyme Disease. Thank you God. In exchange, I will…I don’t know. We’ll work it out after my coffee. I’ll make it good for you.

But…aside from that.

When I wake up I’m usually either in one of two states: scared or angry. Who am I angry at? It’s the first thing in the morning, for god’s sake. Why would I be angry? Because I think of the people who have done crappy things to me in the past. I can make a long list. I can make a thick scroll and read it at the town square.

Which is why I have to constantly practice the “crappy people” post. I’ve gotten good at it, but It’s a constant effort. So it usually takes me a few seconds to realize that its “not useful” for me to be angry at anyone first thing in the morning. That technique works.