I don’t know what caused you to take your life. I don’t understand the pain you must have been feeling that left you without hope. Oh, Miles how I wish I could have lent you some hope. I accounted you a friend and brother in Jiu-Jitsu. I am greaved that I didn’t communicate that more strongly. Maybe then you would have realized that no matter how dark the night you weren’t alone.

I have so many questions, Miles. You seemed the happiest I had know you to be. What went wrong? You seemed to have so much going for you. Why did you want to throw it all away?

Miles, I will miss you. I don’t mean just at class. You were part of a small but close knit Jiu-Jitsu family. It won’t be the same without you. I will always remember your smile and the funny infomercial jokes you made. I’ll look for you on the mat still. I’ll be expecting you to come up the stairs in time for class. I know you won’t be coming but it will feel like if I watch a little longer . . . you will.

Rest in peace, Miles.

Jiu-Jitsu is Life and Life is Jiu-Jitsu

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I wish I could remember all I said. I had a lot of pent up emotions. It all came from the heart and I meant what I said. Come talk to me and I will listen and withhold judgement. I will be a friend. I don’t want to see another member of my Jiu-Jitsu family lose hope and resort to death.