When I started this blog in March 2008, I was steadily losing my grip, trying to cope with mum's (undiagnosed at that point) dementia and full time work. Prozac eventually saved me from total meltdown and mum spent her last couple of years much more settled in a care home. She died, aged 92, on 10 November 2011. Life will be very different from now on............

About Me

Thursday, 1 January 2009

nine and a half weeks hours

"Moan, moan, poor me, poor me"(showered mum and washed her hair)

"moan, moan etc."Found a note in the door from the carer - she'd called at 7.30am, mum's bedroom light was on but she wouldn't answer the door. Mum says they do it deliberately (knock and go) to save themselves a job?! She is going to tell them she doesn't want them to come again. She dozes for 2 hours on the settee.

"moan, moan....shouldn't be living alone.....your dad will be weeping over me...." Poor bugger, I bet he's been dancing a jig for the last 9 years. I keep asking him to call her up but he's ignoring me.

Carers come - ooh, transformation - canny old lady doing her best, smiling in the face of adversity, oh yes, see you again ....

Permutations of the above. Eats minute amounts. Coughs, hawks and inspects the tissue EVERY TIME. I too am coughing, so much so that I am losing my voice and can only croak. Does she notice/care? Does she (provide your own expletive).

I turn on the TV to provide some stimulus/distraction. She turns it back off - she doesn't like the zoo programme (ugly animals), she doesn't like Shrek (ugly cartoon characters). I pick up the crossword and sudoku again.

6pm and the cavalry arrives in the form of lovely daughter. Mum reverts to Dr Jekyll. I take my leave just after 6.30 pm with a promise to return around lunchtime tomorrow. Thank goodness for Prozac.

That makes a lot of sense rilera. Sadly, I think its too late for mum to change now. It would mean re-writing her whole life story with a positive slant. She enjoys dwelling on the disappointments too much.