Episode 36 – Dear Writer, I’m Tired.

Dear Writer,
I’m tired. I’m really tired. It’s been a long week at the tail end of a longer month. Work has stretched into endless hours of mind-breaking labor. It takes intense concentration and I find myself lost in the shuffle far too often. I’m exhausted, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop anytime soon.
Have you ever felt that tired? That worn to the breaking point? Have you ever felt like you just need to see it all through?
God knows this isn’t the first time for me. I’ve burned the candle at both ends for a long time, now, and I’m not sure if I should keep pushing myself like this anymore. I don’t even know if I’m the best person to decide that.
Well, here is a hard truth— one not many of us like to hear: We’re only human. Human beings with flesh and blood and meat and bones. We need rest and food and water and sunshine and exercise to survive. I hate that about myself, but it is so very true. We’re only human. Google hasn’t turned us into cyborgs yet. They say that technology is still a few years off.
Dirty liars.
Still, until they come along and give us the ultimate cure for everything that troubles us, we need to take care of our fleshsack bodies. Our meatsuits are fragile and they need us to be good to them.
It isn’t just a health issue.
One thing I’ve learned this year is my productivity goes down when I’m not taking care of myself. The harder I push myself, the less I can accomplish.
Maybe this sounds familiar:
When I hit the wall, I push harder. The harder I push, the more frustrated I become. Frustration leads to anxiety, anxiety to anger. Anger rekindles the frustration and before I know it, I’m pushing against a harder and harder block and fighting my way up a steeper hill. Every word becomes a struggle to get it on the page. I fall behind and become more and more desperate to just feel productive. I get discouraged, and that leads to frustration, anxiety, and anger and builds on itself until I just can’t take it anymore and I explode.
Projects get abandoned. Resistance has won the fight. I am defeated. It’s over.
…

…

I’m tired. I’m really tired. It’s been a long week at the tail end of a longer month. Work has stretched into endless hours of mind-breaking labor.
I’m frustrated and angry at myself for not finishing all of the projects I swore to myself I would finish.

I’m punishing myself for not being better.

I’m falling farther and farther behind.
When was the last time I gave myself a break? When was the last time I let myself write for the joy of writing?
Why can’t I be the productive robot of endless words I need to be to succeed? Why can’t I write 5 or 10 thousand words every day? Why can’t I write 50 books a year? I have the ideas!
But, I don’t have the bandwidth. It’s time I let myself remember that. It’s time I gave my brain some downtime.
How about you? Are you pushing against a wall? Are you burning the candle at both ends and neglecting sleep to try for just a few more minutes every day? Are you struggling to make anything happen at all?
Maybe you just need some rest, too. Maybe you need a break.
We all need a downtime. We all need a vacation sometimes. Give yourself permission to rest and recover.
And be back here next week, writing in full force.