Thursday, June 14, 2012

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So, if you find yourself making these homemade "Party Rock" shoes, don't forget to get your whole head in front of the shotgun when you realize what a complete loser you are. KTHXBI.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

As many of you know, my hatred for all things hipster has not mellowed over the years. So, when I came across this trailer for a movie called Hipster Holocaust in which half of Silverlake's hipster population is killed, well...

Let's just say I was pleased. Very pleased. The project is the brainchild of a man by the name of John D.A. His film was recently funded using Kickstarter which is way too passe to be considered hipsterish anymore. Click here for the link to his Kickstarter page and enjoy the above trailer in all its hipster slashing glory.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Those of you old enough to remember the Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch, might be surprised to see how he turned out. Personally, I prefer the adult Oliver. He certainly has good taste in music. His t-shirt features singer songwriter Stew of the band The Negro Problem.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Yes, there is a new designer drug epidemic that is sweeping the nation. It's called Bath Salts -- and no, it's not the kind your pour into the bath for a soothing warm soak. No, this is a chemical compound devised and sold as a bath salt that is actually snorted by drug users.

There are numerous chemicals that can be combined to make this toxic drug, most of them are chemical stimulants. Three have been banned by the DEA, but street chemists can whip up a batch of it using a dozens of different combinations.

Police are are stymied by this new problem. Why? Well, because the drugs effects cannot be tested for in the body and the only way to know if someone is high on them is if they tell you. People taking this drug can suffer from acute paranoia, increased body temperature, vivid hallucinations and a strange super strength not seen since the naked days of PCP and Angel Dust in the seventies.

You know? When someone would take it, whip off all of their clothes and climb a tree or jump off a building? Well, bath salts appear to cause the same phenomenon. People lose their shit while on this drug.

You know the naked guy on the freeway underpass that was shot to death because he wouldn't stop eating the face of a naked homeless guy lying next to him?

That was bath salts. No joke.

Cops say it can take up to fifteen officers to safely take down someone on this drug. If you shoot them will a tazer, they just pull them out and keep charging at you.

It is ironic that this stupid drug is named after something that is supposed to help calm and soothe the body and mind. What next?

"Wrap a dollar bill around the brass rail, gentlemen, these girls are working for your tips and applause, now please welcome to the stage..."

In a desperate and literal "shameless cash grab" Nadya Suleman a.k.a. OCTOMOM will reinvents herself for the billionth time as a stripper. Yes. It's true. Soon, you will be able to scrunch up your dollar bills into a tight little ball and fling them at her.

I guess it's expensive to support 14 kids. Who knew? Tragic that each of these little reinventions center on her being famous or quasi-famous. I would have more respect for her is she actually just got a regular job and put her head down and got to work -- you know, just not in someone else's crotch. Oh well.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

In case you're wondering why women are asking for gummy bear implants, let me explain. There is a new form of implant referred to by some patients as the "gummy bear" implant as it has the feel and texture of a gummy bear. It's not a saline implant, nor is it a rigid silicone implant. It's somewhere in between. The Cohesive Silicone Gel used in these implants is all the rage as it is said to feel more natural.

It does beg the question, however, if more natural means more like a gummy bear. I invite you to do your own investigation.