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Weapons Check

CHICAGO! A town I have visited many times to sell my comics, always to be Â beaten down by it’s big, windy shoulders! But this was the year I fought back! This was the year I assumedâ€¦ MY ULTIMATE FORM!!

Are you ready for a man with a Muppet arm, Chicago??

You can’t handle this foreshortening, Mayor Rahm!

Normally I am on the receiving end of the beatings at Wizard World Chicago, as even the softest-skinned nerd can sense my inner wuss. NOT THIS YEAR! I delivered foam rubber beat-downs to all comers!

IfÂ you see Chewbacca, tell him he’s next!!

Aww, I can’t hit a girl…

PSYCH! Bitches and hos get popsÂ in the nose when my arm of harm feels like dishin’ out blows!

These were “Star Wars hipsters”. I notice that none of them went the distance and grew a Snidely Whipstache. Maybe Chewie will have one in the movie.

This is the best throw that this “Rainbow Brite” could deliver. FEH! She wouldn’t lastÂ Â three seconds in aÂ Thunderdome!

I met this girl at a cyborg support group. It can be toughÂ to talk about how we lost our limbs, especially if it involved laâ€¦lasersâ€¦.aw shit, I’m gonna lose it…

I think these guys were Angry Birds.

This robot guy and I were pretty evenly matched, so we settled our beef with a pie-eating contest. It only took one apple rhubarb before his voice slots were hopelessly clogged. Robots: they never learn!

I asked Korra her if she’s let meÂ “bend” her over and take her on a trip through the spirit world, and this was her response. It was worth the pain! Man, I love those chicks with the hollow, white eyes!

Speaking of avatars, this is Ryan, one of my Kickstarter supporters, and his avatar. Imagine my surprise upon meeting him! I always thought he was some being from Minecraft!

â€¦Sorta like this guy! Thanks for the pledge!

This here’s li’l Daryl, ready for his nap after a hard day of fighting zombies (and eating a pudding cup!)

Umâ€¦. Power Rangers maybe?

Another bro from the wasteland. We went out for a little ultra violence laterâ€¦ as well as carnitas at anÂ adorableÂ family-owned Mexican joint.

The celebrities turn out at Wizard World! Willie Robertson, ladies and gentlemen!

This is Darth Bane, the deadliest Sith from the Star Wars universe, the only warrior ever to defeat Yoda in single combat! And to his right, a guy wearing a gay purple sash.

WHO’S THE JUGGERNAUT NOW, BITCH??

Well well well! Look who’s back for Round Two! Didn’t I just teachÂ the Juggernaut who’sâ€¦