We've always assumed that the long and proud tradition of the Oscars — and stars' rapacious greed for their career-defining Oscar speeches — would guarantee that the show would, somehow, go on. Like, even if the Screen Actors Guild told stars not to attend awards shows, they'd make an exception for the Oscars — or watch as every nominated actor resigns from the guild. But now we're not so sure. According to the L.A. Times, the Oscars haven't yet applied for a WGA waiver for Stewart and his writing staff but have already been denied a waiver to utilize clips from guild-written movies without paying out the nose. Which means, of course, that instead of the Oscars featuring endless film clips, every nominated film will be acted out by Debbie Allen–choreographed dancers, and every deceased person in the In Memoriam montage will be impersonated by Rich Little.

The Academy is undaunted, however! Sniffs Bruce Davis, AMPAS's executive director: "We will not be resorting to the kind of expedients that the Golden Globes are resorting to." Meow!