Two Days, Nine Lives review

This cinematic travesty smacks of a woefully misguided vanity project. Two Days, Nine Lives sees a pretty boy/girl assortment of addicted fuck-ups battle each other and their own demons, as its main characters converge at The Bridge, a countrified rehabilitation clinic.

Helmer Simon Monjack has partly based the film on his own traumatic past. But, thanks to deeply unpleasant, laughably stereotyped characters, an appalling cliché-strewn script and gratingly crass visuals, Two Days utterly fails to have any impact. It's obviously meant to be some profound, deeply insightful exposé of a group of tortured souls forced to `slum' it in a £3,000-a-week clinic. Yet the plot's so shallow it completely lacks interest. Yawn.