‘Has Anyone Seen My Tutu?’

When the Hummers march, the satire flies. So skip the Mummers this year.
When it comes to New Year’s fun, Philly has nothing on Middletown.

by Reid Champagne

(page 2 of 5)

The Snyder clan splits itself into more than one presentation. The Snyder sons spoofed the Balloon Boy episode of 2009 while Snyder’s wife, Elizabeth, strapped baby dolls around her waist like beaver pelts, then marched as notorious Octomom Nadya Suleman.

“We choose the themes as a kind of family thing,” Snyder says.

Unofficial Hummers Parade grand marshal for life Jack Schreppler admires the lack of planning so much, he’s made it an unstated rule—kind of. “No meetings, dues or organization of any kind governs the parade,” he says. “If there were rules, I would have dropped out years ago.”

Schreppler became the grand marshal in the second year of the parade, when, as a 15-year-old, he was invited by the son of the parade’s founders. Donning an old set of tails, adorned with a sash his mother had found in their attic, and wielding the orb and scepter of his new office, Schreppler goose-stepped ceremoniously down Main. He has since added such accoutrements as a pair of inline skates. In 2010, he also wielded a 7-iron as an homage to Tiger Woods’ fall from grace.

Tiger’s woes couldn’t have happened at a better time for Hummers frantic for an idea in the early hours of New Year’s morning. It hit Kevin Manley and his entourage in their collective sweet spot.

“We were kicking around ideas in the Charcoal Pit. The idea of mocking Tiger’s infidelities seemed like a natural, and an easy idea to pull off,” Manley says. “Plus it had just happened, so it was fresh.”

Manley assembled a dubious entourage of young women and a few good men dressed as women. Thus The Holes of Tiger Woods was born. Danielle Smulski, who hosted an after-party for about 25 participants and well-wishers, portrayed Tiger’s former wife, Elin, and chased the star with a golf club as pin flags were populated with impressions of Tiger’s various low-rent consorts.

“We were surprised by the number of people who turned out,” says Manley, owner of a landscaping company. “It was impressive to see police out there blocking roads and doing crowd control for us. We’re definitely back next year.”

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