When shit gets real you need to talk about it!

I decided a month ago that it was a good idea to start writing my thoughts down. Writing things down helps free you from anything that might be lingering on your mind, otherwise your thoughts just build up like a horrible diarrhea episode and it keeps you awake all night. Sorry, that was a disgusting analogy, but it is a very accurate one. We’ve all been there and therefore know how persistent it is capable of being. I decided a blog would be awesome. Not because I feel like I am the least bit interesting or have anything more valuable to say than anyone else in the world, but simply because I have an impulsive and slightly obsessive personality and I do not have the ability to relax when there is something on my mind.

For example, if at 4 p.m. I decide I am in need of a new brassiere, my night is officially over. I set out on a mission and I will not stop thinking about it until “operation breast support” is complete. Not only will I vigorously search the internet for a bra, in the dark, while my husband and child sleep peacefully beside me (yes co-sleeping, stay tuned for that blog), but I will obsess over the decision of which bra will make my chest look most appealing. I will specifically look for models wearing bras who have chest sizes comparable to my own. A long and grueling task that is extremely difficult to do because the chest size I was left with after having a child no longer registers on the Victoria Secret Richter scale. Even my web browser laughs and re-directs me to the Justice website when I type VS into google.

Bra choices are endless and I want my decision to be a good one. If my husband awakes and catches me looking at half-naked women on the internet at two in the morning so be it, I’m not bothered. I am in too deep and I will not stop until I order a minimum of 30 bras because my daughter may never give me the opportunity to shop or use the internet again.

Since having a child I buy everything in multiples so I will be prepared for the possible extinction of every product I love. I lost entirely too many brain cells during the birth of our daughter, so I also developed this irrational fear that I might actually forget that I like something and not ever remember to buy it again. At least if I buy two I’ll be able to use something long enough so that I lose interest in it by the time I’d have to remember to buy a new one.

So what does all this have to do with my blog you ask? This blog was birthed during one of these impulsive, borderline manic episodes. I started the blog spontaneously one night after a very stressful day. It was the perfect, almost magical combination of events. The stars had aligned and on that day my work, plus my commute, divided by my parenting struggles, multiplied by the mathematical constant of Pi equated to this very Blog. The blog was born and I’ve been breathing life into it for a solid month now. This is a big deal coming from the woman who can’t even commit to using an entire box of Crest Whitestrips for a week.

I’ve found that this blog has helped me focus and redirect some of my energy that would otherwise be wasted buying things I don’t need online when I can’t sleep at night. When you have children it’s easy to forget who you are sometimes. It’s hard to find hobbies that are still attainable or easy to commit to when you become a parent. At least in the beginning. I am embracing blogging as my new hobby with open arms. It’s giving me the opportunity to do something that makes me feel like my creative self again. If other people are interested in what I have to say or I am able to make someone smile, or reflect while I do it then it’s a double bonus.

My goal is simply to build a following of awesome people, meet new and interesting people, and keep If Traffic Had A Face I Would Punch It a place that you want to come back to. So go on and share the site so I can continue to develop and grow. I’m still searching for blogs that spark my interest also, so if you know of any you think I should follow…please send them my way!

If someone looked at my browsing history tonight they’d find google searches for both Victoria’s Secret and diarrhea. Here’s hoping my real anniversary is a bit more magical than my one month blogiversary.

(Seriously though, does anyone ever know how to spell the word diarrhea correctly on the first try? I’d like to meet them)

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About The Author

At some point in 2014, my poor husband grew tired of being the only person I could bitch to about the commute I had been doing for the last 10 years. I did him a solid, and one angry status update on social media later, "If traffic had a face I would punch it!" (of course) spawned the birth of this blog...and the rebirth of my sanity. I didn't know at the time, it would grow to be so much more. I credit this "knack" for putting words together to the thousands of emails I've written during the length of time I've spent in an HR related field, writing and rewriting to get points across in the least douchey way possible.
This site is about finding humor in the day-to-day activities that go hand in hand with my career, parenting, and relationships. I complain about my commute, but sometimes there are things going on in your life that only music, a cool breeze and a long drive can help you sort out.
I'm not a relationship expert, nor am I here to give parenting advice. I'm just quietly opening a window into my world so that other parents and couples may peek in and possibly relate to my own current events. I realize that parenting can be isolating, so I decided to start spilling my guts not only to gain a better nights sleep, but to hopefully help other parents feel a slightly less isolated existence. If my writing has made you smile, then my mission is accomplished. Feel free to laugh and cry with me! :)