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Topic: "Do you know how?" (Read 69617 times)

My DH and I had been married about three years, and we had to live with my in-laws briefly in between moves. His mother began CONSTANTLY dropping hints about having grandchildren. Well, lo and behold, I got pregnant while we were living there, in their basement (we slept on the fold-out sofa bed.) We were trying to hold off telling them immediately, but just a day or so later, MIL was harassing us again about how she is never going to have grandchildren. My DH turned to me and "I have to tell her before I explode!" So he did. I have never seen that little woman jump and dance and scream and cry so much. It was great. But it was funny when she finally calmed down and realized exactly WHERE the baby must have been conceived.

My mother told me something that a friend of hers did to her daughter, who had been married a few years. She cut out a picture of a cute baby from a magazine, handed it to her daughter, and announced, "I want one of these". My mother and her friend both thought that this was hysterically funny. I thought it was very nervy, nosy, and intrusive, but mom didn't agree.

"Well, okay, I think there's a Babies R Us near the mall. I'll buy one for you for Christmas."'

I guess I'm in the minority; my dad didn't care if I had children or not (he hadn't wanted me to get married in the first place, but when you're 39 and in love, who can tell you anything? ) So, when we spent Christmas with my in-laws, I made a point of telling my MIL that we had decided not to have a family, mostly due to my age. She surprised me; she told me, "Thanks for telling me, but whether or not you have kids isn't anyone else's business."

Waaay back when MIL was FMIL, she was getting on DH (then DF) and I about how she wanted grandchildren already. We were visiting her house at the time, and I simply asked, "In which room should we begin? Will we have a Royal Audience during the event?" She cracked up, and never brought it up in quite that manner again.

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Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. -- Jane Austen

My DH and I had been married about three years, and we had to live with my in-laws briefly in between moves. His mother began CONSTANTLY dropping hints about having grandchildren. Well, lo and behold, I got pregnant while we were living there, in their basement (we slept on the fold-out sofa bed.) We were trying to hold off telling them immediately, but just a day or so later, MIL was harassing us again about how she is never going to have grandchildren. My DH turned to me and "I have to tell her before I explode!" So he did. I have never seen that little woman jump and dance and scream and cry so much. It was great. But it was funny when she finally calmed down and realized exactly WHERE the baby must have been conceived.

I don't think I've seen her sit on that sofa since.

It's amazing how people can draw a line in their minds between give me grandkids!!! and have intercourse with your partner!! Your MIl basically ordered you to have unprotected sex but for goodness' sake not in her basement. *shakes head* You weren't teenagers or newlyweds anymore either.

That's why I think it is the height of rudeness to pester people about their reproductive choices above and beyond saying: "Do you want kids some day?"

I'm glad your MIL was so happy though!

Waltraud

PS: Speaking of Royal Audience: When Louis and Marie Antoinette tried for Royal Grandkids, at least a dozen servants were present. And when Empress Elizabeth and Emperor Franz had their wedding night, both MIL's (who were sisters at the same time) kept watch in front of the door all night. So no pressure there!

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bellawitch

All thoses posts about cats. My ex and I had Alfred and Tiger when I got pregant. They were the pergect size to try on the new baby clothes we had gotten, Tiger's baby blues were perfect with the cowboy onesie we had gotten for Jason. Too bad Tiger didn't agree!

Both my cats loved my son. Tiger less so as Jason peed on him during his first bath. Jason was devastated 18 years later when Alfred had to be put to sleep. He had never known life without Alfred.

Kids come when they come/ today if it's not within a month of trying there is a problem. A British friend of mine told me after many years her parents decided they were infertile (this was before the clinics and such) a couple of monthes later, guess what!

Things happen when they do, if the parents can't wait tell them to look in the community. There are plenty of children that need loving adults to get them on their way.

Kids come when they come/ today if it's not within a month of trying there is a problem. A British friend of mine told me after many years her parents decided they were infertile (this was before the clinics and such) a couple of monthes later, guess what!

So true. A dear friend of mine was never supposed to exist. His parents were certain they were infertile and had in fact adopted two children after being unable to conceive. Ten years later ... surprise!

Kids come when they come/ today if it's not within a month of trying there is a problem. A British friend of mine told me after many years her parents decided they were infertile (this was before the clinics and such) a couple of monthes later, guess what!

So true. A dear friend of mine was never supposed to exist. His parents were certain they were infertile and had in fact adopted two children after being unable to conceive. Ten years later ... surprise!

Bolding mine.

My great-aunt and uncle also thought they'd never have children. They ended up with 7, including a set of twins.

Kids come when they come/ today if it's not within a month of trying there is a problem. A British friend of mine told me after many years her parents decided they were infertile (this was before the clinics and such) a couple of monthes later, guess what!

So true. A dear friend of mine was never supposed to exist. His parents were certain they were infertile and had in fact adopted two children after being unable to conceive. Ten years later ... surprise![/quoteBolding mine.

My great-aunt and uncle also thought they'd never have children. They ended up with 7, including a set of twins.

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "thre away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "thre away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

What a horrible story!! I'm so glad those poor children found a real family with your friends.

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "threw away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

What a horrible story!! I'm so glad those poor children found a real family with your friends.

Yup. They're both grown now and by all appreances, happy well adjusted adults.

The son is a member of the volunteer fire dept. and the daughter just recived her certification as a Nurse Midwife.

ETA: Oh, and the baby born somehow survived the intensive spopiling, coddling and general doll-like dressing up his big siblings gave him.

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "threw away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

What a horrible story!! I'm so glad those poor children found a real family with your friends.

Yup. They're both grown now and by all appreances, happy well adjusted adults.

The son is a member of the volunteer fire dept. and the daughter just recived her certification as a Nurse Midwife.

ETA: Oh, and the baby born somehow survived the intensive spopiling, coddling and general doll-like dressing up his big siblings gave him.

Oh, that poor, defenseless baby! How did it ever make it through all that hardship!

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "threw away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

What a horrible story!! I'm so glad those poor children found a real family with your friends.

Yup. They're both grown now and by all appreances, happy well adjusted adults.

The son is a member of the volunteer fire dept. and the daughter just recived her certification as a Nurse Midwife.

ETA: Oh, and the baby born somehow survived the intensive spopiling, coddling and general doll-like dressing up his big siblings gave him.

Oh, that poor, defenseless baby! How did it ever make it through all that hardship!

Babies are pretty resilient...they tend to survive all that, and even the occasional toenail polishing, with their chubby dignity intact.

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"If someone else posted this, I would be convinced they were making it up..."

There's a couple I know who have filled their home with children every which way, private adoption, foster kid adoption, bilogical, raising a grandkid....

The man was told he would never have children because as a young boy he got some kind of fever/ So they adopted their first children, a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. Not biologically related, but they had been in a state home together and got along beautifully..

Well, the fie ended up pregnant, was overjoyed, thinking about how excited the kids would be that they were getting a little sibling. They told the kids, and the kids seemed... off. Outwardly happy, but off.

The husband found them sobbing in their bedroom a few hours later and when he asked them what was wrong, they told him that He and Mama were going to send them back since now they were gonna have REAL kids, and they knew this because that's what their other parents did!

He says it took them almost six months to convince these poor kids that yes indeed they were staying, this was home and the only thing changing was going to be a cute little pink baby sibling. But the husband admits he had very satisfying dreams for years afterwards about finding the people that "threw away" his children and breaking their fingers one by one.

What a horrible story!! I'm so glad those poor children found a real family with your friends.

Yup. They're both grown now and by all appreances, happy well adjusted adults.

The son is a member of the volunteer fire dept. and the daughter just recived her certification as a Nurse Midwife.

ETA: Oh, and the baby born somehow survived the intensive spopiling, coddling and general doll-like dressing up his big siblings gave him.

Oh, that poor, defenseless baby! How did it ever make it through all that hardship!

Babies are pretty resilient...they tend to survive all that, and even the occasional toenail polishing, with their chubby dignity intact.

LOL

He was extremely loved, as were all other siblings that came through. Their father bvoasts that "Other than the expected sibling rivalries occasionally, I never got a lick of trouble out of them. Must be that I keep getting lucky 'cuz God Knows, I ain;'t that great a father!" (His kids of course protest this.)

Actually, other than the first two kids, and one girl, I have no clue which kids are adopted and which aren't.