Sir Hugh Evans. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,
25there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir
John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto
you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my
benevolence to make atonements and compremises
30between you.

Sir Hugh Evans. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no
fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall
desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a
35riot; take your vizaments in that.

Robert Shallow. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword
should end it.

Sir Hugh Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
and there is also another device in my prain, which
40peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there
is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas
Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slender. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks
small like a woman.
45

Sir Hugh Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as
you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,
and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his
death's-bed—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
50old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master
Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

Robert Shallow. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Sir Hugh Evans. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
60is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I
beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks]What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
65

Sir Hugh Evans. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that
peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
70matters grow to your likings.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well.
I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

Robert Shallow. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it
your good heart! I wished your venison better; it
75was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I
thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

Sir Hugh Evans. Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that
125is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is
myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Slender. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might
never come in mine own great chamber again else, of
seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
140shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two
pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Bardolph. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and
160so conclusions passed the careires.

Slender. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,
but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have
165the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Falstaff. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
175by your leave, good mistress.

[Kisses her]

Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
we shall drink down all unkindness.
180

[Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS]

Slender. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
Songs and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE]How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait
185on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles
about you, have you?

Simple. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice
Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight
afore Michaelmas?
190

Robert Shallow. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with
you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
here. Do you understand me?

Slender. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
195I shall do that that is reason.

Sir Hugh Evans. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

Slender. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
reasonable demands.

Sir Hugh Evans. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to
210know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers
philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the
mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
good will to the maid?

Slender. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
request, cousin, in any reason.

Robert Shallow. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do
is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
225

Slender. I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there
be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may
decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
married and have more occasion to know one another;
I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:
230but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that
I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Sir Hugh Evans. It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in
the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our
meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good.
235

Slender. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my
250cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE]A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his
friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I
255live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne Page. I may not go in without your worship: they will not
sit till you come.

Slender. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
though I did.
260

Slender. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
my shin th' other day with playing at sword and
dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a
dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot
265abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

Slender. That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
275cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
rough things.