FAQs on Domestic Violence for fathers

Early help

I had a very difficult childhood; now I sometimes struggle with different problems and can get upset with my family. What help can I ask for so that my children are not affected?

It is a very good idea to ask for help to overcome difficulties that you are facing which are impacting on your family and how you behave at home. If you are getting upset with your family then this may well be causing problems in your relationship with your partner and your children. You may benefit from help to reduce your stress and to develop healthier relationships.

Early help professionals (such as your GP, your child’s health visitor or teacher) can work with you and your child to work out what support and services can be put in place to help you, strengthen your parenting and reduce stresses at home. You can ask them to coordinate an early help assessment of your family’s situation to plan this. You may be offered a Team around the Family or Team around the Child meeting so that other professionals can meet and work with your family to make sure that you are supported. This is a voluntary process.

You can find some information about useful links here and there should also be local services that you may be able to access directly or with the support of the lead professional for your family. Some organisations may have a specialist father’s worker or parenting programme to help enhance your parenting.

If professionals think that your child needs an ongoing service from a social worker or if there is a concern that you have been or will become domestically violent then they will make a referral to children’s services.

It is very important that you find out more about what domestic violence is and why this would impact on children. There are specialist services and courses for men to address domestic violence and to provide support to change violent behaviour. There are links to perpetrators’ services Respect and Domestic Violence Intervention Project in our Where to get further help section. It is important that you try to work with the social worker and other services to make sure that your children are safe and well-cared for.

You can find out more about the assessment process and possible outcomes here.