Independent Woman~Defined

"An independent woman is one that does not have to factor in finances when considering marrying a man or when divorcing one. Way too many marriages are ones not out of love, but out of the need for convenience and financial need. An independent woman usually has worked for some time to be independent or has a certain set of special skills that has allowed her to obtain financial freedom. When I think of an Independent woman it is hard to not think about money or a job, but that is not all that makes an Independent woman. A woman who is strong in her convictions, lives rights and is not easily swayed by the status quo is also an independent woman. Many people will refer to a woman like this as a "Bitch" but in reality it comes out of spit, Jealously of the fact that she is not someone who can be controlled or manipulated."

"an independent women to me is some one who got they head on they shoulders doin somthin wit dey life off rip,a go getta she can make somthing happen without relying on another muthafucka to do somthing for her. If she got a man hopefully a good man she can meet him at the table 50/50,...she not cocky or sadety just confident,basically knows how to provide for her self,hold her own down."

"handling her business, classy, makin it happen regardless (meaning with or without a man) keeping her self up. last but not least patience this is an important factor b/c a woman that has all these qualities wont b independent 2 long we all know good things come 2 those who wait."

"what makes a women independent hmmm...... knowing she can do anything she wants and doing it all by her damn self."

I love these responses! Now for my opinion..(Confident, Assertive, Decisive, determined, perseveres, ethical, strong sense of self, common sense, stands up for self, godly, educated, just to name a few.)I believe an "Independent woman" is one who can go through each day of her life and face the good and bad, go through her storms and still come out smiling and ready to take on whatever comes next. Many people, especially men feel a woman isn't independent unless she is financially stable on her own. Is this the true definition of an "Independent Woman?"Women face many situations and challenges in life each day. Sometimes women get themselves in these situations, sometimes it's only by circumstance. Some women don't have a choice. Take myself for an example..I graduated from high school and went straight to the military. I got pregnant and got married while at my first duty station and got out soon after. I spent about 10 years being a stay at home mom. My spouse was always deployed or Tdy. I spent more than half those years being a single parent to 4 kids. It was tough raising 4 kids and moving from this place to that place with 4 kids. Some were in school, some weren't. Instead of working, I decided to at least go to school, start on a degree and I did home daycare during all of that. That was a lot for me at the time. I didn't know then as much as I know now so all I could do was work with what I had. Eventually, after 10 years we separated. I got up one day and decided to leave. I went home and stayed with my mom for several months. I was completely dependent on my mom and kids father for financial support. I had a hard time finding a job that will benefit me financially and also finding hours that fit me and my family as well. I didn't have a job for 7 months. Keep in mind, although I am financially dependent on someone else (like most of you who have jobs, you DEPEND on your employer to pay you right??) I still have to raise my 4 kids pretty much by myself, keep the house tidy, keep shoes and clothes on their back, pursuing 3 different certifications in Personal Training, Fitness Nutrition and Fitness and Exercise Therapy, while in the middle of pursuing a degree in Strength, Nutrition and Personal Training. I also was in a car accident where my car was totaled and the crazy people who hit me at 60+ mph ran from the scene and all I had was a busted black swollen eye. I was pretty much knocked backwards. I felt like I failed myself, kids and anyone else I cared about. I had to realize that God wasn't done with me because if he was I would not be here to tell about it. I am right back where I started and pretty much dependent on someone financially, for a limited time only but I sure as hell believe I fit the "Independent Woman" status because I have been through so much and I am using it as fuel for my life.I am always taking on a lot more than the average woman, all at one time and all I can do is thank God for the strength, my health and those who love me and encourage me everyday and I pray that I do the same for someone else.I Corinthians 11:11,12"But remember that in God's plan men and women need each other. For although the first woman came out of man, all men have been born from women ever since, and both men and women come from God their creator."

I'll end this by saying, remember we all need each other. We will all need some type of help or support from one person or another in our lifetime. Don't knock down that woman in your life whom you know does the best she can ever day, gives her all every day, loves you no matter what every day, stays strong and gets back up every day no matter what crap comes her way. Always let her know she is appreciated, Independent or not!

A SPECIAL GREETING FROM FRAN DRESCHER

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