SportsCrack Blog

Saturday, June 28, 2014

489 feet into the Kansas City fountain. It's ungodly how great of a player Mike Trout is. He should be working on his 3rd straight MVP in his first 3 seasons if only voters weren't so stupid to think that only players on teams who make the playoffs should win MVPs. Trout is a modern day Lou Gehrig. We are just lucky to see a player of his skill dominate the game of baseball.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Model Emily Ratajkowski brought her A game for GQ. She probably starved herself for weeks on end eating only lettuce and carrots like a bunny just so she could hit it out of the park in GQ Magazine with this spread...

And now Emily is going to be in a Ben Affleck movie because of how talented of an actress she is. At least that is what Affleck wants you and his wife to believe as he is boning Emily in his trailer.

The 23-year-old model came to fame after she appeared in the Robin Thicke music video in March 2013. Fans and celebrities alike took notice, and her beauty and self-possession helped make her a breakout star.

Ratajkowski covers the July issue of GQ, and director David Fincher also spoke to the magazine for the article. The model will appear as Andie Hardy in Gone Girl, a writing student and mistress of Ben Affleck’s character Nick Dunne. The director reveals that Ratajkowski in “Blurred Lines” was the first thing he and Affleck thought of when they cast the part.

“I was talking with Ben and what I wanted for the Andie role was someone who could be incredibly divisive among men and women in the audience,” the director says. “We needed somebody where, at the moment she appears, the women are going, ‘That is unreasonable and despicable.’ And you also have the men going, ‘Yes, but…’ And so Ben said, ‘Yeah, like the girl in the ‘Blurred Lines’ video.’”

“She was just incredibly mature,” he lauds. “She wasn’t smitten with being the girl of the moment. She’s no bull[expletive]. If [Dunne's] gonna ruin [his] life on a 21-year-old, they have to be special, and she was.”

"Incredibly mature" is code for Emily has great developed ta-ta's. Good luck with that Ben. Bastard.

It looks like 2017 and 2018 could be the first opportunity for Notre Dame to schedule a long awaited SEC opponent in their backyard according to the AJC.

Athens —

The universities of Georgia and Notre Dame are expected to announce this week they have agreed to terms on a home-and-home football series, according to various reports.

Mike Cavan, a special assistant to Athletic Director Greg McGarity and former college football coach, hinted of a “big scheduling announcement” from Georgia later week while appearing as a guest on “The Bulldog Roundtable” radio show on 680 The Fan on Wednesday morning. After the show, its host Buck Belue tweeted that the opponent was Notre Dame.

McGarity has confirmed before that Georgia has been in negotiations with Notre Dame — and other major football powers — to play future home-and-home series.

Most recently, McGarity was asked about the prospect at the SEC Meetings in Destin last month.

“I think it’s an opponent we’ve played, what, one time 1980?” McGarity told reporters then. “For our fans to be able to go up to South Bend, and for our fans to see Notre Dame play between the hedges, I think from a national perspective it’d be off the charts, as far as interest, as far as intrigue. That would be something out of the ordinary that our fans would be very, very excited about.”

But when asked then how close they were to striking a deal, McGarity said: “I think we’re just waiting to work through some verbal communications before we have anything in writing.”

Georgia and Notre Dame have played just once in football. They met in the Sugar Bowl on Jan. 1, 1981, and the Bulldogs won 17-10 to complete an undefeated season and eventually be named consensus national champions.

Georgia is currently in the market for non-conference opponents for the seasons of 2017 and beyond. Stay tuned for more details.

This is a series I have been looking forward to my whole life. Notre Dame will play anybody, any day. The problem is they always have a tough time scheduling SEC teams with the exception of Tennessee because those schools don't like to travel outside of the Southeast. Well now UGA has finally stepped up to the plate and taken on the challenge of scheduling a tough out of conference game in Notre Dame. Kudos to UGA and ND for getting this series on the schedule. It will be one of the most watched games of the year no doubt and will have both fan bases fired up. And to top it all off Athens is only a hour drive for me. The Fighting Irish between the hedges makes for a perfect Fall afternoon.

Be honest how many people besides Texas Rangers fans knew Adrian Beltre was closing in on 2500 hits? It's a hell of an accomplishment from a great player and this might make the third baseman a sneaky Hall of Fame lock. But if he ever gets the vote into Cooperstown he has to also have someone try to touch his head before handing him his plaque. Miguel Cabrera, himself a future HOFer, gave Beltre a little head nod and you could see the pure fire in his eyes. He's just angry as shit. Love it.

I guess it's dark to hide all the hookers and blow! No lie this is how you get recruits to come to Miami. Just turn your 5:30 AM workouts into a full blown nightclub with a DJ and everyone will be jumping at the bit to get up and lift some weights and train. The Hurricanes and Al Golden are setting the tempo for modern college football.

Tuesday marked the third time in his career Uruguay's Luis Suarez has bit a player on the pitch. This time it just happened to be with the whole world watching as Uruguay battled Italy and eventually eliminated them in a thrilling World Cup match. Suarez is likely facing at least a two game suspension and perhaps as much as a two year suspension from Fifa. How about we just let a bunch of rabid pitbulls attack the fucker and let him see how it feels?

Here are some of Suarez's other crazy moments. This guy is a grade A douchebag...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Seriously what in holy hell happened to the Tampa Bay Rays? They were baseball's small market underdog darlings along with the Oakland A's for the past 5 years but this year they have just completely sucked ass. You go from nearly winning a World Series to looking like schmucks vs a 17-year-old girl named Chelsea Baker in batting practice. They should just fold up the team and move them to Charlotte already. I don't know what's more embarrassing: The Rays MLB worst record of 31-47 or Evan Longoria's blonde mohawk?

I literally have no fucking clue what she is saying nor do I care. All I know is that model Andressa Urach is a former runner up in the Miss Butt Brazil (yes their country has this and we don't) and she is not afraid to show off her talent on TV. Be sure to check out her Instagram or you can just google Image search for her better pictures.

I will admit this World Cup has pulled me in 100%. As a die hard sports fan but only a casual soccer follower I've been watching this World Cup like it's the Olympics. I love rooting for my country and as an underdog I love rooting for them even more. We aren't suppose to beat Ghana, Portugal, and Germany. But on Thursday we have a shot to at least win 2 of 3 and advance to the round of 16 out of the Group of Death. I'd say that's pretty damn impressive. Granted we can advance just by getting a tie with Germany but fuck that...we gotta win! USA! USA! USA! Beat Germany!

Fox Sports sideline reporter Erin Andrews didn't hesitate nor should she to get on bended knee and take a thirsty sip while cupping the glorious Lord Stanley's Cup. It's the first time LA Kings center Jarret Stoll (her boyfriend) has seen Erin get down on her knees so fast since he told her he makes 7 digits. Love is a beautiful thing!

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hey next time asshole you might not try to run across with red fucking pants on! Just a thought. I think that's basic bull fighting 101 right there. Don't wear red pants and/or stop right in front of running bull only to get your head knocked off. This was on par for my Friday and Sunday night. Riding high Friday night with the Orioles about to take game 1 in their series vs the Skankees only to give up a 3 run walk off to Carlos Beltran. Then Sunday you might have heard about the USA choking against Portugal with less than 10 seconds left in stoppage time thanks to Michael Bradley's latest gaffe. All things considered I'll take being a disgruntled sports fan over being this dead guy.

If I was 24-years-old and had been playing golf my entire life while being dubbed the ladies version of Tiger Woods and had yet to win a major despite turning pro at 13 you can sure as hell bet I would be getting shit faced like Michelle Wie here. Wie filled her trophy up with some tasty cold beer and then chugged that shit like it was the Stanley Cup. And to top it off she did some drunk twerking which can't be easy for a girl who is over 6 feet tall. Wie can drink for my team any day!

I could watch this all day and still never stop laughing. It's just so perfect with Jim Ross doing the play-by-play of some asshole drunk on the street stumbling and face planting directly into the road. The guy's face almost exploded. "That's it he's dead!"

Thursday, June 19, 2014

So it looks like Kim Kardashian has bounced back from delivering Kanye West's devil spawn by doing what she does best: sex and working out. Granted her hips are now wider than Texas but who gives a shit, everything else is legit.

When asked about his thoughts about Kim and her new post baby body Peyton Manning showed his horndog self...

You can often see how much a human being had an impact on the world after they leave the living world. On Monday Tony Gwynn left at the young age of 54 due to complications from cancer. He left a legacy. Everybody has nothing but kind words for Mr. Padre. He was an institution in San Diego having grown up, gone to college, and played his entire career in the area. I was fortunate to meet Tony a couple of times growing up and he didn't let you down with his smile, his laugh, and his ability to connect with you even though he really didn't know you. We all knew about Tony growing up but he was more interested in finding out about you the person. Tony was just a great guy. A great player. Perhaps the best hitter the game has seen in 50 plus years. Tony Gwynn will be missed. Tony is up there with the Cal Ripkens, Dale Murphys and Ozzie Smiths of the baseball world. Great ball players who were even better good guys off the field. They lived up to the sports idol for every kid.

Monday, June 16, 2014

No more fucking excuses. We are the USA. We don't need excuses. We need answers and we needed them yesterday. Portugal just got their bitch asses steamrolled by the Germans and lost two players in the process including their pride and dignity. This "group of death" currently doesn't look so fucking deadly anymore. All the USA has to do is beat fucking Ghana at 6pm today. Ghana is some piss ant from Africa who has no right to beat us considering all the money we put into developing our players and hiring the best coaches in the world. I'm pretty sure 95% of Ghana doesn't even have electricity much less water. No more fucking excuses America. I want us to destroy Ghana and then kick the living shit out of Portugal and Ronaldo and then Germany can annihilate us for all I care since it won't matter since we will automatically advance.

P.S - I only watch soccer every four years for the World Cup. I still think it's a nancy sport with "athletes" who would get curbed stomp playing in the States if they played one of the sports that actually matters (Football, baseball, hockey, basketball) but that doesn't matter right now. It's about national pride. We gotta win. No more excuses.

Oh Ryan you can't be teasing the family jewels like this. I can feel it deep in my plums. They are all tingly in anticipation. What's in the box? I need to see the new 2014 Shamrock Series helmet today!

By the way before you even ask yes we will again have the helmets in stock first for sale. As soon as Ryan reveals the helmet we will put a link up to buy the minis and authentic versions of it.

I'm not going to lie. I would fucking kill to live one day in Johnny Football's shoes right now. I mean is anybody else living it up more than Johnny Manziel? He's got a different dime piece every week. Hell he might have a different smokeshow every day for all I can tell. He's been partying with celebrities all over the country. He's got so much cash he can't even fucking hear us. Johnny Cleveland is living like a gangster. Party on Johnny. Party on.

Umm can I get a hell yeah? Hard Knocks is one of my favorite shows and the Atlanta Falcons are my favorite NFL team so this is going to be a marriage in heaven no doubt. We will get to see Arthur Blank behind the scenes pulling out his white glove and slapping one of his serfs like he is Colonel Sanders. We will get to see head coach Mike Smith say absolutely nothing interesting while doing coach speak throughout. We will get to see and hear Roddy White put his foot in his mouth multiple times while entertaining us Chad Johnson style. Hopefully we will catch a glimpse of one of Matty Ice's road beef side pieces. This will be must watch TV for what could be another painful season for all Falcons fans coming off a 4-12 season. I don't think it will be a distraction and if anything it will keep the players more focused on rebounding from that shitfest 2013 season.

Holy shit! I'm trying to think of a more scary scenario than this. Look I would be the last person you would see cliff diving. I just couldn't muster up the courage even if I was hammered, black out drunk. But to not only cliff dive and yet come down with the possibility of the world's most famous man eating predator just waiting for you as a snack is frightening. This bloke is more lucky than any lottery winner. His life was determined to go on only because that Great White waiting in the water had already eaten no doubt.

I'm trying to think of a more scarier scenario than cliff diving into Great White shark infested waters. Hmmm, maybe being a Chicago Cubs fan. Yeah that would definitely be suicidal.

A's left fielder Yoenis Cespedes did it again last night vs the Angels. Bobbling ground balls and making ridiculous on the mark throws has become Cespedes forte. Watch him nail Albert Pujols at 3rd base...

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And of course the night before Cespedes made one of the best throws I have ever seen. He basically channeled his inner Bo Jackson and completed a frozen rope from the warning track all the way to home to nail Howie Kendrick...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Now I just feel bad for making fun of soccer players. Sorry excuse me. I meant "futbol players." Every single soccer player has gone out of their way to tell me how they are the best athletes and it takes the most skill to excel at their great sport. I mean after all it is the world's most popular sport so it must take an elite talent to conquer it like Cristiano Ronaldo has. He's the best of the best and you would never know that he doesn't use his arms like every other sport in the world. It's just so natural for him to throw a pigskin. I mean he could probably win the Heisman next year if he decided to attend college and slay coeds instead of European models. Yup it must be the reason why America sucks so bad at soccer because we don't have the great athletes that Europe and the other countries have. Ronaldo proves it with his natural talent. It's like watching 50 Cent throw a baseball. You can't miss the greatness.

Love those shorts by the way. It's always comforting to see someone's nuts dangling out while dribbling a soccer ball. Makes me respect his game even more.

See America has nothing to fear when it comes to gay people and marriage. Give them a little bit of the sauce and they start hitting on the opposite sex on live tv. This guy seems to have the same amount of game I used to have while intoxicated. The scary part is it actually worked. About 5% of the time but hey beggars can't be choosers. Someone get this guy another drink he could turn into Derek Jeter just swooping up grade A road beef.

We really are a simple breed. Just show us a pretty girl and we will throw all logic out of the window. We are basically dogs. Give us a little love and we are all ears and panting for more. Model Adrian Lima could have turned on Big Ten Football and I would have been like "Fuck Yeah I need some Big Ten Football" even though we all know it sucks. The power of the ....

Friday, June 06, 2014

Full disclosure: last night was the first time I've watched any of the NBA Playoffs. I turned it on because I figured I might owe it to myself to see what all the hoopla was about. Apparently the Spurs forgot to pay their HVAC bill and the air conditioning went out in the first period. I will be the last person to make fun of somebody for bitching about the hot conditions which reached 90 degrees inside San Antonio's AT&T arena. I personally think AC is one of if not the greatest and most needed inventions of all time. With that being said I've played baseball, football, basketball, street hockey, golf, tennis, track and field all in temperatures above 90 growing up in the South. It sucks but you get used to it. I didn't see old men Tim Duncan or Ray Allen wilting under the heat. Lebron you play for a fucking team called the Heat. Act like you have been there before. I've dealt with cramps before. They suck. But you can play through them. Get an IV or some fucking water. Stop drinking that Powerade junk and drink plenty of H2O. And don't you dare get carried off the court again like a bitch. That's fucking embarrassing. I'm actually embarrassed for him. No fucking way would I be carried off unless a bone was sticking out of both of my legs.

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Last season Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris "Crush" Davis hit a staggering 53 homers in a break out season that earned him top 3 MVP votes. This season Davis has been struggling with the long balls. He had 7 going into last night at the 1/3 season mark. After hitting a towering ball in the right field bleacher seats in Arlington last night you would think his teammates would be excited to see Crush break out of his mini slump. They gave him the silent treatment. Davis would not be shown up though as he gave his air high fives to his imaginary teammates. Take that assholes!

O's won their 4th straight. I'm still holding out hope the O's beat the Dodgers in the World Series as I predicted before the season started. They need to make a trade for another starter (Jeff Samardzija please) and get Matt Wieters back from injury and they should be fine. They got this!