Neil Grove’s Bellator Blog, Part 1

Neil
Grove is one of the sport's hardest hitters. | Photo: Dave
Mandel

All-action heavyweight Neil Grove
(www.twitter.com/GoliathGrove)
will blog his thoughts and experiences for Sherdog.com as he takes
part in Bellator Fighting Championships’ fifth-season heavyweight
tournament. Grove faces Mike Hayes in
the quarterfinals at
Bellator 52 this Saturday, Oct. 1, on MTV2 at 9 p.m.
ET.

When I was asked to write this blog, I sat for a while thinking,
“Should I make this personal?” Should I write about my personal
experience and hardships throughout the year? So, I thought, sod
it! I’m going to tell you a little about what goes on in my mind
instead! But, for you to understand that, you would need to know a
little about my personal life, so here goes!

My fight against Zak Jensen
this year earned me entry into Bellator’s Season 5 heavyweight
tournament. So, if I lose, I’m back to square one! Something like
my loss in October 2010 against Cole Konrad
for the heavyweight title might have had a negative effect on many,
but I had no room for any negativity in my life this year! During
my quarterfinal and semifinal fights last year, my mindset was
perfect! I had one thing on my mind, and that was to fight for the
title. I wasn’t prepared for what I believe made me lose against
Cole in Kansas City, Mo. I stopped believing in myself and could
only think of his wrestling ability, something which I had very
little experience in, at the time.

Early this year, I was looking to become one of the commentators on
Bellator, so I “moved” to Kansas City to train with one of the best
play-by-play commentators in MMA, Sean Wheelock. Things didn’t
really click during those two months, as fighting was still on my
mind. Then, I was offered a way back into the fifth-season
tournament.

I was already in America, so my wife told me to stay. I had always
wanted to train in America, as MMA is huge over there. My wife also
added in the same breath that she was pregnant! It was great news!
Not planned, but great news for both of us!

I had to decide: continue fighting, or be a father and husband
during this ‘delicate time’ in any family. We both agreed that I
should make the most of it, being a young 40 years old, still
learning every day and still wanting to put my stamp down as a
fighter. I certainly didn’t want to turn around in 10 years’ time
and say, “What if I had trained in America?” Little did my wife and
I realize how tough it was going to be on both of us, as well as my
son. Being away from home to train was and is the hardest thing
I’ve ever had to do. Being way from your loved ones to pursue a
dream -- one that isn’t a guaranteed income, either -- can mess
with your head!

I moved to Southern California. There, I had a place to stay with
my friend, Ken Pavia, until I could afford and find my own
accommodations. Orange County has some of the best MMA gyms in the
country. I started with seven weeks of training at CSW with
Erik
Paulson and Josh Barnett.
I had a great time there, and the newfound experience -- sparring
and wrestling with some of the biggest and best MMA fighters in the
world -- was very different from what I was taught back in the
dojo.

You see, I come from a traditional martial art, goju-ryu. My
sensei, Gavin Mulholland, taught me about respect, humility,
discipline and dedication! I was the biggest in the class, so when
sparring against smaller guys, older guys and even women, I had to
learn about control. He forced me to concentrate more on my
technique than he did with others, as I had an advantage: size and
strength! I had to spar without hurting anyone. What it did was
make me calm and controlled. I’ve taken this attitude with me to
all the MMA gyms I’ve ever trained in. Never hurt anyone, even in
hard sparring sessions!

Something that might surprise you: What goes through a fighters
mind before a fight? Why on earth would anyone want to put
themselves in that position? To get in the cage and allow someone
to inflict pain on you, or to do something you can’t find it in
yourself to do unless it is really necessary, like hurting
someone!

I think of running sometimes. Yes, laugh at me, but I also think to
myself, “I have to provide for my family!” But it’s dangerous.
People will laugh at you if you turn around now! I am better than
him. I’ve trained my butt off for this fight... and so it goes on,
until I hear the gate shut. And what happens next is hard to
explain.