Monday, December 17, 2012

The Release Hatch...

"May the God of hope

fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,

so that you may overflow with hope

by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Rom. 15:13

Last Friday I sat in my mother's room for hours. That day I was waiting to see if she would wake up in heaven, or here on earth. She hadn't eaten, she hadn't taken a drink. She slept. She eventually did wake up, not recognizing her surroundings, but knowing that something about me was familiar and evidently trustworthy.

During that particular waiting time (there have been many times of waiting lately), I decided to memorize (again) Rom. 15:13. For some reason, it just doesn't stick in my brain - but I want it to.

This is what I discovered - I kept leaving out "as you trust in Him". That pokes my heart. It seems I want the hope and the joy and peace. I want the Holy Spirit to go ahead and dump a boat load of that stuff ASAP - but it comes with a release hatch - "as you trust in Him".

There is a reason for scripture like the one in Proverbs that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Sometimes we have to let go of something to receive something else.

Lord, I will trust You in the waiting...and I thank You for hope and joy and peace that smells like heaven. Thank you for your patience with me.

P.S. ~ Thank you to every person who has hugged and loved and supported and walked with me during these months in particular. Thank you for coming to the Open House with loving words and yummy food. Thank you to those who served and cleaned and took pictures and helped people navigate our steep driveway, so that I'd be free to talk with people. Thank you for making this first Christmas without my dad easier by being family! I am grateful to be surrounded by such gracious, loving and fun people. Thank you.