What do you call Steven Gerrard in a suit?

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard “totally lost it” and launched a series of punches “with the style and speed of a professional boxer” in a row over music, a Liverpool court was told. The Scouser beat up Marcus McGee, 34, in a 2am bar brawl at the Lounge Inn in Southport, it is alleged. The scally denies all charges related to the December 29 incident.

Gerrard is accused of beating up McGee over control of a CD player. Prosecutor David Turner QC told Liverpool Crown Court that Gerrard asked McGee for control of the CD player. Rumours that the Liverpool captain wanted to put on the Best of Cilla Black are yet to be proven.

“Mr McGee took offence at his attitude and he refused. Not many people on Merseyside, or indeed anywhere else, would refuse a request from Steven Gerrard but Mr McGee did.

“There can be no doubt that this refusal astounded Steven Gerrard. He walked away back to his party but the CCTV shows how much his mood had changed.

“He was no longer the centre of that high-spirited party. He was clearly walking around pondering, musing over what had happened – about the man who said ‘no’ to Steven Gerrard.”

The CCTV footage shows Gerrard returning to McGee, and it is alleged, confronted him with the words: “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Steven Gerrard had clearly lost his cool: he was angry with Marcus McGee,” continued Turner.

“At this stage Gerrard totally lost it. Gerrard joined in the attack with a succession of well-aimed uppercut punches… Steven Gerrard’s fists, not his feet, did the talking. This was never self-defence in a hundred years.”