The Fig Tree

He was shuffling around in the parking lot as I pulled into the office early one morning this week.

Before I had even got out of the car, he had wandered over and was standing by my car, obviously waiting for me to get out.

I nodded to him and said hello as I headed to our office’s front door. He followed me curiously and noticed our name on the door. He asked me “What is Rising Above Ministries?”

I invited him to join me inside where he explained he was waiting for the office next door to open for business. I briefly described who we are and what we do for the special needs community.

I was in a hurry to get started on my tasks for the day, but he was a talkative older man, and so I listened politely.

Over the next five or ten minutes as we talked, he mentioned that he had an adult son with special needs himself.

Only he didn’t use the words “special needs.”

He called his own son retarded. In fact, he used the word retarded 5-6 times in the brief few moments he was in my office.

Over and over, the word rolled off his tongue.

My blood pressure went up twenty points every time the word came out of his mouth.

He even shared with me a story where his own son was struggling to do a task, and he told his son to give up, saying, “You can’t do it because you’re retarded.”

Just as I was beginning to consider a Jedi mind trick to try to blow up him up right in front of me, the Holy Spirit calmed me down.

He was an older man, and in his generation, the word was commonly used and socially acceptable those many years ago.

For those reasons, I decided this time I would give grace.

But all week long now, I can’t stop thinking about that poor son. Having you own dad tell you to give up because you are retarded. Telling you that you cannot do something because “you’re retarded.”

Your words that you speak over your child or about your child have the power of life and death. I am constantly, with every opportunity I have, speaking positive words of affirmation and life over my son. I am always telling him how proud I am to be his dad and how honored I am that God chose him to be my son.

And we have a rule to never speak negatively about him to others either. I constantly tell him how much I love him the way he is and I wouldn’t wish for any other boy but him.

There’s an interesting passage in scripture. In the Book of Matthew chapter 21, verses 18-20 Jesus has a weird encounter with a fig tree.

“Now in the morning, as He returned to the city, He was hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it but leaves, and said to it, “Let no fruit grow on you ever again.” Immediately the fig tree withered away.”

And when the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, “How did the fig tree wither away so soon?”

Jesus spoke death over the fig tree and it never bore fruit again. The tree simply withered and died. His words had the power of life and death.

So do your words.

Your child with special needs is your fig tree. Every time you pass by or encounter your child, you need to speak words of life, love, and affirmation over your child or children.

Your spouse is a fig tree. Every time you pass by your spouse is an opportunity to speak life into your spouse as well.

Water the trees in your life. Nourish your trees in your life. Speak life over your trees.

About Jeff Davidson

Jeff and his wife Becky, started Rising Above Ministries when they realized the incredible gift and blessing their own son with special needs (Jon Alex) was to them. Jeff spent 16 years in the corporate world prior to being called to the ministry. Jeff served for several years as a pastor on the staff of The River Community Church in Cookeville Tennessee. Jeff then felt God’s calling to found Rising Above and become God’s ambassador or missionary to the special needs community. Jeff likes to say he was chosen to be the father of a child with special needs, and then called to be a missionary to other families. In addition to leading and directing all aspects of Rising Above Ministries , Jeff is a writer and speaker who enjoys speaking at churches, conferences, events and to groups, ministering to special needs families and individuals. He blogs regularly at his site, GoodnightSuperman.com. Jeff is also one of the writers for Not Alone (specialneedsparenting.net) and is a contributing author at comfortinthemidstofchaos.com. He is also the special needs team member/writer at 1corinthians13parenting.com. In addition, Jeff serves on the advisory Board at Disability Matters. He is the author of No More Peanut Butter Sandwiches: a father, a son with special needs, and their journey with God.