3.This half-baked idea:

4.This unfortunate attempt:

“I asked my husband to make me half a pesto chicken salad sandwich, and this was what I found in my lunch box.”

5.This simple task:

“One time my husband and I were checking out in a grocery store, and it was one of those places where the customers bag their own groceries. My husband started packing everything using those tiny paper bags for wine bottles, not realizing they weren’t the bigger kind. He was so confused as to why he could barely fit any groceries in them. I just stared at him the whole time.”

6.This gutsy guy:

7.This idiotic spark:

“I was at a friend’s house party, chilling in the hot tub, when I heard some loud metal music coming from inside the house – it was from a band called “I Set My Friends on Fire.” Then I saw my boyfriend come running outside, purposefully lit on fire, screaming, where he then jumped into the hot tub. Our relationship did not last long after that.”

8.This questionable brother:

“My little brother once zip-tied himself to our dad’s truck.”

9.This foolish mistake:

“My cousin didn’t want to spend time scraping the ice off of the rear window of his car, so he decided to emulate Indiana Jones and whipped an extra t-shirt at the ice to break it off. Instead, he accidentally shattered his rear windshield.”

10.This empty-headed eclipse:

11.This fiery mess:

“I was at a bonfire with an ex, and one of the bricks lining the fire pit fell into the actual fire. After about an hour or so, the fire died down, but the brick was still inside. My ex grabbed the brick from the fire, thinking it wouldn’t be hot. It obviously was, and he dropped the brick and ran away.”

15.This flawed chef:

17.This true crisis:

“We were talking about periods in my health class. The teacher asked if anyone had any questions, and one guy raised his hand. With confidence, he asked, ‘Does it hurt when girls bleed from their asses during their period?‘”

19.This mindless roast:

“A couple years ago, my boyfriend and I had a party. He got pretty drunk and thought it’d be a great idea to jump over the fire. It wasn’t. He ended up tripping, causing his legs to fall INTO the fire. Thank god he got up quickly. He had a few burns on his shins, and he smelled like burnt flesh and hair for a week, but he recovered just fine.”

20.This faulty reasoning:

“I asked my boyfriend to buy some hummus, but NOT the kind with whole chickpeas in it. He came back 45 minutes later and said that he carefully read the ingredients on all the different types of hummus, but they all had chickpeas in them, so he didn’t buy any. I just stared at him.”

21.This sticky situation:

“In high school, there was a guy in my class who was really book-smart, but he lacked common sense. Last year, he was awarded a ‘highest test score’ trophy, but not even an hour later he somehow superglued his hands to a desk. It took two kids and a teacher to unstick him.”