Nice Ride, Cowboy!

I have so many dating stories that I probably will not run out in the near future. However…my west coast friend Barb, who writes Nice Shoes…and More Life Observations, has shared a few of her dating stories with me so I thought I’d have her over to my blog to share one with my readers. She never fails to make me laugh and I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who has been on some odd-ball dates!

I have so many dating stories that I probably will not run out in the near future. However…my west coast friend Barb, who writes Nice Shoes…and More Life Observations, has shared a few of her dating stories with me so I thought I’d have her over to my blog to share one with my readers. She never fails to make me laugh and I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who has been on some odd-ball dates!

Thank you for the fresh cup of coffee, Daily Blonde. Before you bring the raspberry scones that are freshly baked from your oven, sit down for a moment. I have a dating story to tell you! Your Kissing Frogs dating stories are so unbelievable! I laugh and laugh and laugh, as I read your adventures. This time, I’ve got a story for you! Let me share with you the worst date that I have ever been on.

It was several years ago….and one of the dates that led me to step away from online dating for a while! I connected with a man through match.com. His photo presented him as being a good looking man with a nice looking cowboy hat on (yes, I love me a cowboy). His bio told me that he was widowed, had a daughter, and really loved his job.

One Saturday morning I get a message from him. He would like to take me to breakfast. Sure, sounds like a great first day, easy, casual, low pressure. I messaged him back to find out where we would be meeting.

Plans were set and I arrived at the appointed restaurant on time. As I was walking towards the front door, I noticed a beat up old pick-up truck in the parking lot. Now I know a heavy use ranch truck when I see one. There was no mistaking it. I knew that this would be his vehicle. Note to self: working cowboy.

My date greets me at the door. The fine ‘gentleman’ was actually 15 – 20 years older than his picture…was 50 lbs heavier… and wore the same cowboy hat (now beaten into submission). I took a deep breathe as the hostess escorted us to our table. As we were seated, my instinct told me that I would let him do all the talking. I was curious to know about him. My brain was screaming out “Don’t share anything about yourself with him!”

It turned out that this was the perfect strategy. Through my fact finding mission I discovered…he had been married four times. He shook his head as he explained to me that he couldn’t understand why one of his wives had packed up and left him one day while he was at work…and moved to Tennessee without a single word to him. He still didn’t understand what happened, as he has never spoken with her again. And that job that his bio told that he loved…he was actually unemployed. I’m thinking, “Yep, I’d love that too!”

He then shared with me that his last marriage ended in his wife’s death. He was a widower. My gut was telling me that there was really no need to express sympathy. He continued on to tell me how proud of his daughter he was. She is a pre-teen and he was just so proud of her for not missing a single day of school from grief. Hmm…really? Is that a good thing?

“When did your wife pass away”, I asked. “About six weeks ago”, was the answer that seemed to float weightlessly through the air and across the table. settling deeply into my brain.

Needless to say this was the fastest I had ever eaten a breakfast. Somehow I choked out the statement that I needed to go, as I had some very important errands that needed attending to. I tried not to break out into a full run as I high tailed it to the closest exit….after letting him pay the tab, of course!

As I reached my car he shouts out to me “I’d love to get together with you again”. As I unlocked my car, I waved back over my shoulder, saying “Sure, sounds good”, and quickly hopped in my car slamming the door firmly shut. As I pulled out of the parking lot I took a quick peek into my rear view mirror. Just as I suspected, he hopped into the authentic ranch pickup truck.

With the firm recognition that my picker was still massively broken, I abandoned online dating. What possesses me to step back into that arena now…..perhaps I need to reevaluate my motivation! My brother tells me that this is all just PRACTICE. I think it is just great story material for my blog!

I’ll take those scones now, and a refill for my coffee. Thanks! I have so many dating stories that I probably will not run out in the near future. However…my west coast friend Barb, who writes Nice Shoes…and More Life Observations, has shared a few of her dating stories with me so I thought I’d have her over to my blog to share one with my readers. She never fails to make me laugh and I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who has been on some odd-ball dates!

Thank you for the fresh cup of coffee, Daily Blonde. Before you bring the raspberry scones that are freshly baked from your oven, sit down for a moment. I have a dating story to tell you! Your Kissing Frogs dating stories are so unbelievable! I laugh and laugh and laugh, as I read your adventures. This time, I’ve got a story for you! Let me share with you the worst date that I have ever been on.

It was several years ago….and one of the dates that led me to step away from on-line dating for a while! I connected with a man through match.com. His photo presented him as being a good looking man with a nice looking cowboy hat on (yes, I love me a cowboy). His bio told me that he was widowed, had a daughter, and really loved his job.

One Saturday morning I get a message from him. He would like to take me to breakfast. Sure, sounds like a great first day, easy, casual, low pressure. I messaged him back to find out where we would be meeting.

Plans were set and I arrived at the appointed restaurant on time. As I was walking towards the front door, I noticed a beat up old pick-up truck in the parking lot. Now I know a heavy use ranch truck when I see one. There was no mistaking it. I knew that this would be his vehicle. Note to self: working cowboy.

My date greets me at the door. The fine ‘gentleman’ was actually 15 – 20 years older than his picture…was 50 lbs heavier… and wore the same cowboy hat (now beaten into submission). I took a deep breathe as the hostess escorted us to our table. As we were seated, my instinct told me that I would let him do all the talking. I was curious to know about him. My brain was screaming out “Don’t share anything about yourself with him!”

It turned out that this was the perfect strategy. Through my fact finding mission I discovered…he had been married four times. He shook his head as he explained to me that he couldn’t understand why one of his wives had packed up and left him one day while he was at work…and moved to Tennessee without a single word to him. He still didn’t understand what happened, as he has never spoken with her again. And that job that his bio told that he loved…he was actually unemployed. I’m thinking, “Yep, I’d love that too!”

He then shared with me that his last marriage ended in his wife’s death. He was a widower. My gut was telling me that there was really no need to express sympathy. He continued on to tell me how proud of his daughter he was. She is a pre-teen and he was just so proud of her for not missing a single day of school from grief. Hmm…really? Is that a good thing?

“When did your wife pass away”, I asked. “About six weeks ago”, was the answer that seemed to float weightlessly through the air and across the table. settling deeply into my brain.

Needless to say this was the fastest I had ever eaten a breakfast. Somehow I choked out the statement that I needed to go, as I had some very important errands that needed attending to. I tried not to break out into a full run as I high tailed it to the closest exit….after letting him pay the tab, of course!

As I reached my car he shouts out to me “I’d love to get together with you again”. As I unlocked my car, I waved back over my shoulder, saying “Sure, sounds good”, and quickly hopped in my car slamming the door firmly shut. As I pulled out of the parking lot I took a quick peek into my rear view mirror. Just as I suspected, he hopped into the authentic ranch pickup truck.

With the firm recognition that my picker was still massively broken, I abandoned on-line dating. What possesses me to step back into that arena now…..perhaps I need to reevaluate my motivation! My brother tells me that this is all just PRACTICE. I think it is just great story material for my blog!

Maybe It’s Just Me…

In the world of internet dating, there is plenty of room for movers and shakers...but it's the unexpected that is really the most amusing. A few years after my divorce in 2001, I ventured into the world of computerized dating and repeatedly abused myself with this type of matchmaking. Who knew that it would be the basis for many stories, not a flourishing romance. In fact, it's the stuff funny stories are made of, not dreams.

The stories are not all recent but never fail to amuse me. If you're about to try internet dating, you'll probably be afraid to if you read my blog. Just because I've put dating at the bottom of my to-do list, doesn't mean you have to. Maybe it's just me...maybe I'm a magnet for men who just think their ass is their elbow. Who knows...but I do look forward to stumbling over prince charming one day.