Confused on what to do

I’m going to make a long story short, i just really need advice on what to do. I just turned 21 years old and i was pregnant on my birthday. I’m 13 weeks along right now, and i live in Ohio so my days are numbered until i can’t get an abortion. I dated a guy for 3 years, who is now 24. We broke up, and have been broken up for a year now. I started dating this guy that i work with (were both servers at a restaurant) and it was good in the beginning until i found out that i was pregnant. We only dated for 4 months total, we dated for only 2 months until i got pregnant. Let me remind you, I’m 21 and he is 45 yrs old.... when we first started dating i tried to ignore his age and see him for his personality which is amazing, and he was the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. But i always deep down missed my ex and was still in love with him. Ever since i had a feeling i was pregnant i no longer could look at my boyfriend and see him for just his personality, i started to pay attention to the wrinkles and every thing else that made him 45. I couldn’t stand the thought of it anymore, so i ended things when i was about 9.5-10 weeks pregnant. He has a 1 year old daughter already, and has a very bad relationship with his ex, the mother of his first child. I’ve seen how terrible they are to each other, and i believe he will be this way with me if i keep this child. I’ve always had this wanderlust to travel the world, live in different countries and experience life in a whole different way. And i don’t want to be trapped in Ohio forever because he will try to make my life miserable, he wouldn’t let me move if needed be for work (future job of being an interior designer), or travel in general. I just don’t want to be tied down to this 45 year old who will try to be controlling and nasty to me just because i broke up with him while pregnant with his child, the second time someone has done that to him. Remind you we work together, he works with the mother of his unborn child and won’t even give me the time of day, won’t even look at me, when i try to talk to him at work about helping him or me or anything as just casual co worker things, he ignores me and walks away. I’ve never met someone that is 45 that acts like a 12 year old. Also, the guy i dated for 3 years and i have been talking again, and i want to be with him, i have for the whole year we were broken up. And now he is telling me it will be hard to accept that I’m having someone else’s child, but he will be there for me and this child. I just don’t want the child to grow up being confused as to who their real father is, i mean they will know the 45 year old is, but will wonder who the guy who was there more growing up isn’t their real dad. I just don’t want my screwed up decisions to effect the mental health of this child, broken homes cause stress, anxiety and depression growing up, i want a normal healthy family for this baby, because i didn’t have that myself, and now struggle with depression. I have full support from all of my family friends and coworkers, everyone is fighting to baby sit my child already and I’m only 13 weeks, lol. That’s not what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of losing my life and dreams, because i have a feeling he will try to hold me back. I want to see my child on all holidays, to experience it with them, and he will need to see them on some holidays too, because it’s only fair, but i don’t want that. If i could it would just be me and this baby against the world, i dont need him, but i know the child will and it’s hard to even bare the thought of having to deal with this man-child for the rest of my life. Basically i have to choose to deal with the depression from him, or depression from the thought of an abortion. One choice doesn’t outweigh the other on my pros and cons list. Please give me opinions, i need serious help!

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