Corny Collins: [singing] Who cares about sleep when you can snooze in school? You'll never get to college but you'll sure look cool!

Corny Collins: Tell me, Velma, how exactly do you fire Corny Collins from the Corny Collins show? [walks away] Velma Von Tussle: [starts to speak and then pauses, frustrated] They do it all the time on "Lassie"!

Corny Collins: Velma, isn't this where it's all heading anyway? Now you can fight it, or you can rock out to it!

Corny Collins: [at the conclusion of "It's Hairspray"] Hey, baby! You look like you could use a stiff one!

Corny Collins: And now it's time to say goodbye to our very own fun-lovin', free-wheelin' little Brenda. Corny Collins: [looks to Brenda] Come on up here, Brenda. Brenda will be taking a leave of absence from the show. How long are you gonna be gone, Brenda? Brenda: [smiles nervously] Just nine months.

Corny Collins: It looks like we have an opening here for another girl who is just as fun-lovin' but maybe not as free-wheelin'!