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Re-mascoting the SEC:

South Carolina Gamecocks, if it didn’t change it would be considered funny. I mean what school has a mascot that is associated with Tijuana back alley gambling rings? I guess it brings in the money. I mean every 13 year old boy wants a hat that say “COCKS” on it. Well, some of us had an Oregon St Beavers or a Morehead one. I digress. Shirts or Skins formally re-mascots South Carolina as:

The Fighting Jimmy Buffets

We all knew partying was gonna be worked into this somehow. Steve Spurrier enjoys relaxing at the golf course & drinkings a few beers. He has a membership to Pebble Beach worked into his contract. The state symbol is a palm tree. Some local fans bought a section of railroad track and have placed 21 cabooses near campus and designated them for permanent tailgating. They call it the Cockaboose, fyi.

Now we move into Stephen Garcia. The night before the Peach Bowl, he was rumored to be wasted away in Margaritaville in his hotel room. He was not alone. When the coaches arrived to do bed check, he had 5 female friends over and apparently the only thing with clothes on was the floor. The coaches immediately took him to the stadium for fluids and to sweat it out on the treadmill. Later in the Spring he showed up drunk at a team sponsored event. This guy hasn’t seen a sober day since “Cheesburger in Paradise” was a hit.

For all of these reasons we declare USC to be the Fighting Jimmy Buffets.