The December Non-News

It’s after 12 weeks after the beginning of December and I can report that while on the gloomy side of things, we were not pregnant at the end of December, the silver lining is that this blog’s title is suitably ironic now. I thought it would be because there would be so many unexpected things with pregnancy, birth, and parenting, but TTC carries its own basket of goodies. But irony is a must in a household where the snake is named Fluffy.

At the end of December, my thoughts are about accidents.

What kind of bad luck do you have to have to end up pregnant by accident?

How bad is your luck if you were using super-reliable birth control properly? (Although there are people who just say they were using birth control even if they weren’t (while not wanting to get pregnant) because they don’t want to be judged, so who knows how much that skews the failure rates?)

Or with “that one time we did it unprotected”? One time?

It’s all messed up perception, of course. The illusion of “inverse fertility” comes from people not usually talking about how quickly they got pregnant when they wanted to – you only hear about delays. And from the fact that you don’t really grasp how many couples you know are successfully avoiding pregnancy, but you are very aware of the pregnancies that are kept including sometimes knowing they weren’t planned.

Not to mention that (I am led to believe) you are so much more fertile when you are less likely to be planning a pregnancy. I imagine the chances for a 20-year-old couple are much, much higher than for a 30-year-old couple, and obviously theirs is higher than for a 35-year-old couple.

And what a bizarre task this is. Usually when I decide I’m going to do something, it gets done! If it took me this long to go out and buy new bathroom linens or a new computer, I would give up and buy the next one that I found. There’s no pregnancy analog for that 🙁

* About Super-Secret Posts: since we are not announcing until 3 months, many of my thoughts have been composed ahead of when I could actually post them. I’ve decided instead of any official back-dating, they’ll just come with this subtitle.

3 Responses to The December Non-News

That and stressing about the fact that you aren’t getting pregnant can keep you from getting pregnant. That’s why so many couples conceive right after adopting. My parents’ friends tried for 10 years to conceive a second child, gave up and adopted, and were pregnant 2 months after the little girl entered their home.

I don’t know how to take my mind off of it. In the grand scheme of things, this is what happens next. I need to make this happen.

Plus, if I were to totally try to relax and take a break, sex would get cut to like twice a month since it’s what I need a break from. It seems I am unable to live simpler while also fitting so much “trying” into my schedule.

oops, I didn’t mean it quite as a YOU should stop stressing, just as a general comment agreeing with your 35-year old lower fertility. The 30/35 yr old couple in your argument would also be more stressed about getting pregnant since they would feel they are on a timeline (must have 2.5 babies prior to turning 40 to avoid potential birth defects).

You aren’t the only couple I know TTC at the moment who are stressed because they didn’t conceive in the first few months (1 wife has already got her husband on naturopathic remedies to increase his sperm count 3 months into trying). It seems to be all very normal to be stressed, at least amoung couples I know. (Although with you I heave to remember that I’m reading three months behind so you could well be prego by this point)

My apologies for making you feel like I was telling you to calmn down. My original comment could have been worded better.