Sinkoff’s 2011 Predictions

You asked for it and here they are - in writing. I'm going to predict the champions in all sports for 2011.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Auburn will outslug Oregon in the BCS National Championship Game. While everyone's too busy watching the game, Cam Newton's dad will rob a bank - taking nearly $24 million dollars in the process. Three days after the game, his dad will get arrested. A day later, Cam will buy a $4.2 million dollar house and claim "he didn't know" his dad robbed a bank just 4 days earlier.

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NFL: Tom Brady and the Patriots will face Michael Vick and the Eagles in Super Bowl XLV. It will be the most-watched Super Bowl in the history of the world. Tucker Carlson will be the only one outside Cowboys Stadium protesting the existance of Michael Vick. Even PETA distances themselves from the wacky FOX News commentator. And when the dust settles -- it will be Brady and the Pats claiming their 4th Super Bowl ring. We'll soon find out that Brady and his wife made a foot fetish video too and the world will actually want to watch!

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NCAA HOOPS: Pittsburgh and Kansas will meet for the right to be called the greatest college basketball team of the 2010-11 season. In the end, Bill Self and his Jayhawks will be interviewed by Jim Nantz on the winner's podium. CBS' college hoops anthem, "One Moment In Time", will be sung live by the surviving members of the Oak Ridge Boys.

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WOMEN'S COLLEGE HOOPS: UConn will defeat Notre Dame, 183-23 giving them their 3rd straight NCAA Championship. Huskies Head Coach Geno Auriemma will get angry about how no one out there is giving his team props. To no one's surprise, no one out there will care.

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NBA: It's not going to take long for Lebron James to make his mark in South Beach. The Miami Heat will defeat the Lakers in the NBA Finals, 4 games to 2 - ending L.A.'s 2-year run as NBA Champions. Lebron will then announce that he is returning to High School and will take his talents to St. Vincent/St. Marys and serve as the school's JV Wrestling Coach and 10th grade math teacher. He says, "What more can I do in the NBA? I've done it all - it's time to show the world I can coach and teach."

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NHL: The Washington Capitals will play in the Stanley Cup Finals for the 2nd time in franchise history. They'll find a way to score goals in crunch time and, finally, they'll get clutch goaltending in the post-season as Michal Neuvirth will come up large in their 4-1 Finals win over Detroit. There's no bias in this prediction whatsoever!! The 5th and deciding game will be seen on The Home Shopping Network2 by less people than attended any given Albany Patroons game in 2005-06.

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MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL: No surprise here, the Boston Red Sox will defeat the Philadelphia Phillies in a 7-game series for the ages. Carl Crawford will be named Series MVP. Not to be outdone, Alex Rodriguez will opt out of his Yankees contract during Game #6 and announce he's leaving the Yanks to join the circus.

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So there they are. My predictions for 2011. Let's see if they come true because, now, they are in writing.