Posted Feb 11, 2014

Drafting the perfect dating profile can be daunting. It’s impossible to know exactly what someone else wants, but you can attract potentials by representing yourself the right way. You can easily charm your way into a mutually beneficial relationship by following these guidelines.

DOs

List your interests.

This is easier said than done. When faced with the challenge of listing hobbies, most people aren’t sure what to note. Be specific, but not so unreachable that you drive people away. If you like to read, drop your favorite author. If you like to eat out, mention your go-to restaurant or cuisine. The only way to find something in common is to mention the details. Otherwise, you just like to eat food. Spoiler alert: Everyone eats food.

Mention your values.

Are you relationship minded or just looking for fun? Do you want an allowance or just lavish dates? These are exactly the sorts of things you should list when laying out your ideals. Acknowledge what you want, and also what you don’t. Non-smokers only? Must love dogs? The quickest way to a dating failure is a clash of codes that could have been avoided by being up front. The point of an arrangement is for everyone to get exactly what they want, so be honest.

Real talk.

Online dating frauds exist. From the scheming catfish to the sexual predator, it’s a jungle out there. Honesty is your best asset since most sugar seekers can smell bullshit. Starting a relationship with lies will only make things difficult, and lead to a disappointing end. If you tell the truth, you are free to be yourself.

Sexy time.

Don’t be overtly sexual, but a little sensuality goes a long way. If you like to wear thigh highs and stilettos, that visual is better than a skanky line about your sex position preferences. Hints and subtle sexual nodes get them interested, so leave them wanting more instead of bearing all.

Spell check.

Both sides of an arrangement want an intelligent counterpart. The quickest way to turn off an intellectual is a spelling error or improper syntax. Good grammar is a rarity in millennials. I recently read a girl’s profile who said she was a “Collage girl wanting to be spoilt.” Perhaps she should have paid more attention in English 101.

DON’Ts

Pictures

While a picture can be worth a thousand words, your pictures are going to be worth one of two: Hot or Not. Images are the first thing people see to determine their interest level. Make it easy for them to get a feel for your appearance with these tips.

No group shots. Online daters are not detectives, and don’t have time to figure out which one is you. It’s just confusing. This is online dating, not Where’s Waldo.

Steer clear of action shots. Some might say this helps people get to know your hobbies, but save that for your profile text. A picture of you skiing where you’re the size of an ant sends the message “I look great from a distance.” More than likely, people want to see what you look like close up.

You are not a duck. A recent phenomena in which girls impersonate ducks by pursing their lips in an unnatural way is sweeping the nation. It is no wonder ducks are commonly shot down. Do not get caught in the crosshairs with a duckface.

Clarity is vital. Blurry pictures might mask your blemishes, but this little soap opera trick won’t get you any sugar. A fuzzy or darkened image only leaves them wondering if you look pixelated and washed out in real life. Let’s hope you don’t.

Get Current. Even if your most flattering image is from several years ago, please choose a more recent picture. Dyed your hair or just got it cut? Posting a current picture of these changes will reduce uncertainty, and increase contact from members.

Ditch the shades. One picture with sunglasses is okay, but you want to reveal your eyes. Concerned about privacy? These tips aren’t for everyone, but if you want more profile traction, take off your sunnies and let your eyes shine. You can always share these photos privately.

Avoid cliches.

Do you love life? Do you like having fun? I’m sure you do, but those are not the pieces of information to add to your profile. This is a one stop shop for potentials, so don’t litter it with overused and subsequently meaningless phrases. While you’re out “living life to the fullest,” someone is skimming over your cliche ridden profile and moving on to the next one. So skip the YOLO, and get creative with your wording.

No negativity.

Your profile is a chance to showcase all the reasons people would want to date you. Try not to list your baggage and self-deprecating flaws. Even if you’re being honest, an unfavorable financial situation or your inability to find a decent partner is not profile material. Instead, say you are looking to improve your career, and still searching for the right person. You can stay truthful without being a Negative Nancy.

Don’t be too humble.

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Walk the line and even blur it, but don’t be a braggart. Give yourself credit where credit is due. What are your talents? What makes you a catch? Inserting musical ability or special skills can be the difference between a pass and a partner.

Don’t rush it.

Mozart didn’t compose Requiem in an hour, and you probably won’t execute a perfect profile with haste. Take notes of things you want to disclose, then make a first draft. Since each profile gets manually screened by Seeking Arrangement support, it takes up to 24 hours to get posted. Therefore, it’s in your best interest to have it edited and perfected before submission. If you want someone to invest time and sugar in you, devote at least some effort to your profile.

Hopefully this provides some clarity for the wayward sugar seeker on a quest to compose perfect profile. If you’re still confused, take a look at our video, embedded above.

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David Suggittsays:

This is my profile. It is gold. I get responses from Sugar Babies constantly.

Hello. I am a 53 year old man who looks and acts more like 52. I am addicted to green tea, ginger beer, strawberry jello and placebos. I like to stare at really shiny metal objects until things get kind of hazy. I like to play piano in the nude with all the curtains wide open. I like pretty birds, but the ugly ones just depress me. In the winter I spend most of my time making snow angels.
I love to travel. Just yesterday I went to the 7-11. I like to sit at home on the weekends and watch tv constantly. When I am feeling really adventurous I actually turn the tv on. I can rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time. I could also rub your stomach and pat my head at the same time. I could never pat my stomach and rub someone’s head though. I have a telescope which I point at my neighbours house all the time. It’s not what you think….I only use it to watch them. I like tyokijh jkhum hjfsew kihgse?????Sometimes I lock myself in the washroom, turn off all the lights and and sing songs to myself from the Grease soundtrack. When I am happy I sing the John Travolta songs. When I am sad I sing the Olivia Newton John songs. I can count to 100 with my eyes closed. Most of the time I just imagine I am a little school boy dancing in the Swiss countryside.
I like potatoes. I like women who look like this :). I don’t like women who look like this or this:0. I look forward to hearing from you.

If anyone is still out there in these comments. I would love feedback on my profile

Chrissays:

You actually have a very nice profile. Most of the girls profiles on here are well, ummmm, a turn off. The minute one starts off with Princess this or Princess that I usually just either hiding their profiles or block em. 80% of the girls on here to be perfectly blunt aren’t worth the price of a Starbucks coffee let alone an allowance. Again you have a very nice sounding profile. Good luck

Anonymoussays:

you have a nice profile.

Jessesays:

I have been a member for 2 years now and have absolutely no luck in finding a sugar daddy. I live in Houston, TX so I should have many options, In the 2 years I have gotten 2 messages and nothing came of them. I have messaged a good amount of men but none ever get back to me. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Would someone be willing to take a look at my profile and tell me what you think, maybe give me some ways to be more appealing?

If you post a link to your profile I’d be happy to take a look.

Hey Top Daddy, I would love for you to take a look at my profile. How do I send you the link to my profile?

Tatisays:

Crazy because I’ve have the same problem. I’ve been on here on & off for two years as well. I found two people but didn’t last long & ever since I’ve been trying to connect with people but nobody messages back. I know I’m attractive but no luck. We need help.

I’ve been a former sugar baby on and off for the past two years. I’ve had multiple relationships some good, some bad. From one babe to another I’d be happy to look at your profile if you want to chat?

I’ve been on this site for a couple of years now and I have not succeeded in securing a sugar daddy. I’m very discouraged because there are men in my area. Am I too old? I’ve had lots of messages but none of them ever lead to a meeting. Any advice would be most welcomed!

LexCsays:

I’m getting a few favorites and several views. I’m a 35 year old SB so I don’t expect to have too much interest but what can I do to this profile that will send messages besides the creeps ones asking for sex? I don’t think my pictures are too suggestive at all.

Anonymoussays:

Hey I’m new to this whole SB thing so I want to make sure I’m doing this correctly. Could I get some constructive criticism on my profile (I already took out the platonic part because I felt like it was holding me back.

Valsays:

I wish I had some tips on navigating the sugar world being a woman of color, African American to be more specific. I feel like I get far less messages than any other race of woman, the messages I do get the men are not serious at all about having a real arrangement and are looking to just have sex with me for change, which I feel like I’m not giving off that vibe at all nor will I ever want or tolerate that. I’m very nice and I don’t go off or have attitudes with men on here. I communicate in a timely and kind manner. Last two guys I met off of here..the first we had a great first date, great chemistry, second date he cooked for me and we went out for dessert, had relations and everything was great. He leaves for Brazil for 3 weeks, comes back and his all of a sudden “in love with someone else.”

Second guy we started talking months ago and it didn’t work out because we lived to far away from each other and we would need to get a hotel to see each other. We start talking again and meet up..my mistake we did have sex, second time we meet samething and then a week or so later he doesn’t want to see me anymore because the spark he thought he would have with me wasn’t there.

I feel like I’m being used and I’d love some advice on what I can change and do better. Please no bashing or unnecessary negative criticism. Thank you

simonsays:

Maybe the first pictures are too sexy which can lead some men to think in terms of prostitution? Furthermore, before considering sex it would be useful to have a more accurate financial agreement beforehand. this will avoid spending a lot of your energy for nothing. Good luck.

Advice: Don’t get naked before he has given you the allowance !!!

Do not trust potential SD until he has proven himself over time.

Janesays:

I have been trying to find a sugar daddy for a while now. Although I shall not state how long because it is simply depressing. I’ve given my profile numerous make-overs, tried different approaches, used different pictures and I’m not getting the replies I want (or any at times). I’ve heard that the scene has changed dramatically since some select started glamorising the lifestyle. So what is some current appropriate solid advice anyone can give me?

Ellesays:

Am I the only one who believes men who’s annual income is $50k – $100k have absolutely no business trying to look for a sugar baby? Why are they permitted on the site promising massive allowances and scamming?

anonymoussays:

Whoever can afford it can do whatever he likes. You don’t know what his expenses are in his life, so it’s best not to judge. Much of his income may be disposable, or that may be the income he is listing.

I don’t think it’s right to speculate – just like it wouldn’t be fair for me to speculate that as a sugar baby you’d want a high allowance and/or a lot of money/materialistic things because you’re complaining about a $50-100k income level. I wouldn’t speculate on that, either. I don’t know you, so I don’t judge.

Same principle.

bibiologistsays:

You misuse the word “bearing” (it should have been “baring”), and immediately criticize millennials for their supposedly bad grammar. It’s pretty funny, actually. Get the hell down from your high horse.

Anonymoussays:

On that topic of scheming; for SDs, what is your opinion when one receives a message from a POT SB, saying hi, a couple of more things maybe, but immediately proceeds to give you her phone number for texting. Is that a red flag? Otherwise, why does she want to take things out of the SA environment immediately? The same when I send a couple of introductory messages, and after just a few message exchanges, they want to move to text. It may be legit, but somewhere I read it was a red flag, what is your take on that? Or is it perfectly ok to move to text right away?

I need some advice. When a SD is messaged and he views your message and does not reply. Must I automatically belief that he is not interested? I am a SB virgin please advice.

D_Anonsays:

That would be a safe assumption. Certainly don’t sit there waiting for a response. Move on to the next person. Every once in a while you’ll probably get someone that replies a few weeks later – people to get busy – but that’s the exception, not the norm.

D_Anonsays:

Your profile is a bit vague, IMO, especially when it comes to what you’re looking for. Good for collecting all kinds of messages, but expect to wade through a lot of garbage. I’d split it into two or more paragraphs as well. Easier to read. I’d ditch the group picture (why put anyone other than yourself on SA?). I like the pic with your profile name, though.

I am interested in receiving some feedback on my profile please.

Anonymoussays:

i have been on this site for 7 months. Many views and some men favored me. No dates. What do I do?

sd with open eyessays:

Views and being favorited are not positive things. Even worse are people who favorite your profile without looking at it or look at your profile and don’t favorite it.

The only thing that counts is messages. If you are not getting messages then you need to take a look at yourself in comparison to the other sugar babies in your area. You also need to critically evaluate your profile from the perspective of a sugar daddy.

Anonomnomnomsays:

What he says and what he means. lol
“There has to be chemistry” – I have to want to fuck you.
“Are you open minded?” – I’m into some freaky shit. I’m probably submissive.
“Are you naughty?” – Do you fuck on the first date?
“Mutual attraction is important” – pretend to like me. Don’t flinch when my wrinkly hands fumble at you.
“I don’t pay for sex” – I’m too poor to pay for sex.
“I want to get to know you better, come over” – I want to know what you look like naked.
“So many scammers on here” – Girls keep rejecting my low offers.
“What’s in it for me?” – I have my dick in my hand, help me get off.
“I offer my companionship and mentoring” – I feel entitled to your body for nothing.
“Maybe next week baby” – I will never buy you that thing. But if you think I will, you might suck my small, flaccid penis some more.
“You don’t trust me” – I don’t want to pay you before I’ve cum inside you.
“The last girl I was with didn’t want money” – the last girl didn’t know her worth yet. Then she left me…

Hi, I am a new SB, just wondering if there is a website or a forum for sugar babies just to talk, share experience/advice and make friends?

I blog quite often and I genuinely appreciate your content.
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new details about once per week. I subscribed to your Feed too.

Erica Dannuccisays:

piqued

Hello! If anyone has the time, would you mind please taking a quick look at my profile and offering me some constructive criticism? I am concerned about my bio being too long but (as advised in this article) I felt it best to be specific and honest. Also, I am curious to know opinions on my pictures (what I should have more of, less of, etc.) I would greatly appreciate any tips or opinions! I am new to this and want everything to be right. I included the link to my profile in this post, although since I just made the account I am not sure how soon you will be able to access it. Thank you! https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/a3f59d17-62e2-4371-b534-f1ccfd1e4a4c

hahahabbysays:

I’ve gotten a lot of requests to view my private photos recently but am not sure what the typical content of those is supposed to be. 2 of my 3 public ones are of my face and the other is of me with my dog. For the private, I have 3 of myself in undergarments but wanted to check and see if that is too racy or what is the “norm” with that first.

Calli DAnsays:

If you put nudes there, I expect you to be more like an “escort”. What I personally like to see is VOLUME and DIVERSITY of RECENT pictures. I want to see your body and face from different angles. This is horrible to say, but imagine you are selling a car. You want to show all the features and how clean and nice looking it is =P

Would someone please take a look at my profile? I feel like it’s missing something! Any feedback would be really appreciated

Anonymoussays:

If someone could take a look at my profile and give some advice, that would be great! thanks

Jessicasays:

Can anyone give me any advice on choosing a username? I don’t want to sound cliche but I do want to stand out. I want to incorporate my red hair into the username but everything I come up with just sounds ridiculous to me!

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F0xyBr0wnsays:

Can someone have a look at my profile and provide any feedback please?

Nataliesays:

The article makes sense and give some good sound advice. However, I think an even better idea would be to seek the opinions of a panel of SD’s. They could provide insight on what gets them interested in a potential SB and how they make the approach. Also, since no two SD’s are alike, it would allow for multiple perspectives.

The photo showing the phone has a little perspective problem: the legs are much closer to the viewer than the upper body is.

Sugar Babysays:

I am in the mood to be bad

Princess Atheasays:

Hello!
I fund this article very helpful, especially for a new member like me. I was wondering if anyone would have a look at my profile and let me me know if there is anything that I could improve on? Thanks!

hmm

Ashleysays:

I found this article very helpful, and would appreciate some feedback on my profile if you have time. Thank you!

RaisedABellesays:

I definitely think that you need to describe yourself in more detail. Men are going through multiple profiles and they’d like to see something that jumps out, if you do not take the time to write something captivating or at least more descriptive, it shows that you are not willing to put in much time or effort towards your search.

If anyone is willing to check out my profile and give me some constructive criticism that would be great! I keep going back and making changes bè cause I’m not sure what is working and what is not.

Di'jasays:

Hey! I started SA a year ago! but I’ve had my profile hidden all this while..completely forgot it was for a while. I’ve made some adjustments too. Could anyone give some constructive criticism on my profile.

I’ve changed my profile a few times but I feel like people don’t actually read profiles… why is that?! Help I’ve been trying to find a good solid SD for a little while and its frustrating.

ATLSDsays:

Victoria.
Cut both parts in half. Too much banter
Delete the last part with Don’t contact me. It’s waste they will still contact you. Just ignore them. We all get that.

You beautiful and pictures are good. You may want try practical. Many SD filter out moderate and higher, plus a lot of SD start lower and after you don’t flake or ghost on them they will up the allowance.

Virgin Bubblesays:

I would personally like some constructive criticism on my profile. I have updated it recently. I get a decent amount of profile views and read messages with few replies. I’d appreciate any advise from anyone.

Delete and start over.
7 of your 8 pictures are the same.
Narrative is a rambling mess.
Start over and cut it in half.

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Howdy ladies and gents…I’m Robert from Houston Texas..I’m a attractive 51 yr old cowboy that’s looking for a friend or friends with benefits…not looking for drama or marriage at this time but am looking for fun and excitement.I’m very fun loving and humorous and very outgoing…love new ideas and new places.Interested in someone that can spice my life up..I m recently divorced after 25 yrs.So I’m starting a new chapter in my life..wanting to experience new things with someone that’s looking for fun and excitement.I have very strong sex drive..I’m into making love…kissing hugging..holding each other or I can be down right wild and hardcore…but I’ve been lonely long enough now and I’m ready to check the waters.if your interested in this fun lovable country boy with lots of life and excitement…Give me a shout…no disappointments here…I’m totally a down to earth guy…
…male or female companionship wanted

Monicasays:

hmmm

Sugar Babysays:

Would be interested to know how my profile reads if someone wouldn’t mind giving it a scan? no pics yet but planning to post 4 to start with – one selfie and some that include my figure. Not after traditional sugar relationship

Virgin Bubblesays:

I like your profile, I think it is an ideal example of what all SB’s should have. Only critique would be 1 of your pics. It was a “action pic” very tiny and no one can see you in it. You’re very pretty and you had a nice smile in all your pictures. You seem very sweet, yearning, curious, smart, and detailed from what I read. Not much more I can say, great profile please critique mine in return with full honesty

Sugar Babysays:

I just signed up today and I am afraid that I won’t get any SD’s. Can someone take a look at my profile and give me some feedback. I’m very petite for my age so I sort of look like someone in middle school, and I feel like it’ll turn off some men.

naturallynxosays:

can someone please look at my profile and give me constructive criticism? i’m working on getting more pictures up but i haven’t had the best of luck getting anyone to message me back in the really short time that i’ve been here… like they read my message and view my profile, but that’s it.

Feel free to take a look at my profile to see what I’m talking about. I keep photos on my profile to a minimum for privacy reasons, but my inbox is still flooded daily with messages from POT.

Dr.d'Condesays:

Interesting concept, having a site for mutual benefits. As a prospective SD, is there group of young men looking for benefits based on the level of their gifts. I am not truly interested in the LGBT community. Str8 guys who understand discretion and are dependable in keeping schedules win big points with me.

QuinnBeesays:

Would someone take a look at my profile, and tell me some things to put?

VA Gentsays:

You’re a pretty girl, and the ‘giving and receiving’ text is intriguing.
When asked why he robbed banks, Willie Sutton replied, “Because that’s where the money is.” If you’re going to be asking for a ‘Moderate’ level of support $5000/month, or $60,000/year…after taxes…you’re going to be looking for a more established, and likely older, SD. If that’s the case, you need to be presenting yourself much more maturely and professionally. My opinion, but nose ring won’t cut it. Have pics where you look dressed to go out to a very nice restaurant befitting someone who has a spare $60k lying around. Or lower your expectations (‘Negotiable’ always a good option, but don’t accept lowball propositions). Good luck!

Hi, can any of you check out my profile to see if there’s any need for improvements? The headless body is for privacy reasons xD It’ll much appreciated

Namelesssays:

hi Christina I didn’t look at your private photos but your main picture does not look attractive maybe replace that one with another one that shows how attractive you are also in what you are looking for it sounds like you want platonic if that’s what you want you should say so because what you have written down is too vague most men will move on rather than try to make sense of that

Ray.yaaysays:

Hey, I’m also very new and i’d highly appreciate constructive feedback or criticism i don’t mind. Thankyou in advance!

Namelesssays:

ray welcome to the site you did a good job describing yourself and your pictures are also good but you are vague in what you’re bringing to the arrangement you might want to rewrite this part or you risk being overlooked by busy SD good luck in your search

ATLSDsays:

You will have a very hard time due to the fact you only want online arrangement. 99.999999% of SD want to meet.
Good luck

Sugar Daddysays:

Hi,

I have a question regarding my profile but can’t find an answer to my question. I have residences in multiple countries so do I need to create my profile in every country for which I have a residence or is there a way to make my profile visible in all of the countries that I own property in?

If anyone can help me, please drop me an email to supplychaintrucker at gmail com.

That’s not my real email but it will work.

Thank you for your help in advance.

Rob

ATLSDsays:

@all if you are going to request help on your profile at least have the courtesy to come back and thank us. That goes for all blogs.
Some of you may not like what you hear but the Sugar bowl is not easy and not meant for everyone.
Good luck

Shailynns21says:

Im always concerned about my profile being boring. I have had a little luck here and there with my current profile but the goal of course is to maximize on that. I always feel like I need to keep my profile fresh so any feedback/constructed criticism is appreciated!

VA Gentsays:

You are attractive, sound confident and smart. Maybe your text should show more of the ‘heat’ promised in the heading.

annonsays:

Your profile is fine, but i feel your expectation levels are a bit unrealistic, you are competing with barbies and models who have the same expectation level. most average women on here will only get minimum. You can wait it out and hope someone comes along, or lower your expectations.

I’d be interested in some constructive comment on my profile. I’m wary about writing too much and I’m also careful not to sound weird or suspicious.

Sorry about posting this anonymously before.

SSSDsays:

No need for apologies. Women do not appreciate apologies. Get her a small gift if you really think you have somehow done her wrong.

Expectation from women should be expected, and it is an inevitable cancerous growth. The key is how you manage her expectations, before her expectations (in material or in terms of your time and “devotion”) eventually exceed your ability to deliver; then end the romantic aspect with her and move on to the next one. She is not yours; you are only taking your turn. Have fun.

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TJJJJJsays:

Hello there,

So I’ve had this for about a week or so now and was wondering if someone can look over my profile for me? I thought it was okay – but judging from the number of read messages I send to SD’s (which results in them viewing my profile) I’m guessing it’s not?
Penny for your thoughts?
Thank you x

Wrensays:

Hi everyone! I’m fairly new to SA and was wondering if anyone would mind checking over my profile? I have a bad habit of sounding too business-y when I talk about myself, and I know that can be a real turn off. And and all feedback is appreciated Thank you!

VA Gentsays:

Hi, you are attractive and sound like a smart young lady. Do you really want to be asking for the ‘Moderate’ ($5k/month) category? My bet is that you will find few if any takers at that level out in SD.

Bi Li Ai Chansays:

HI, would anyone mind looking at my profile and honestly telling me what I’m doing wrong. I’m a bigger girl, but I’m nicely proportioned and I’n confident in my body. Maybe I seem arrogant or too desparate? I just need some help please.

Namelesssays:

you should put full over weight not a few pounds over what is other you look black to me nothing wrong with that but if your mixed blood you should say what it is your profile sounds good good luck to you and welcome to the sugar bowl

Davesays:

Am I the only one who thinks Nameless sounds like Siri

Anonymoussays:

Hi a nice profile with a good selection of photos but you are very over weight not a ‘few extra pounds’ – it’s best to be honest about your body type, after all when you meet a potential SB he’ll soon find out.

UWOPrincesssays:

I am very new to this website (I just made my account yesterday) and am a little overwhelmed with making my profile. As you can see, I did not have much to say because I really do not know what I am supposed to put in the descriptions… what kind of information is relevant.. and what isn’t..
I know my profile will have a lot of criticism but please try to be constructive and (maybe) nice about it haha.. I appreciate any feedback though because I appreciate if you take the time to go and look. Thank you guys!

SugarDsays:

Your pic does not show up on your profile ,but the thumbnail on the blog looks hot, but I don’t have a microscope handy .

Change Princess in your Title, it is a pejorative term and turns off a lot of SDs . It implies that you are spoiled ,even if you are not . I like the short and sweet profile ,but a lot of folks here like more fleshed out essays about who you are . I would ad a sentence or two about how you plan on making your Daddy happy-what you have to offer Him .

Omit the sentence about not wanting to be taken advantage of . Of course you don’t -who does ? It is negative and goes without saying .

I would call you based on what is there. I do my research on the M&G.

ATLSDsays:

I agree with Sugar D on all points. Good luck

CasandraMsays:

So I’m new and would also like my profile viewed.

I’m currently waiting on two full body photos to be approved. I know overweight is one of my main problems but I don’t see it as such; I say this because in the two full body pictures I was about 230 lbs. Currently I’m under 200 lbs. and dropping. I don’t have an athletic build or lifestyle but I am active.

I’m trying to be honest with my profile about everything, but of course everything is subject to change.

Any advice?

ATLSDsays:

You have figured out overweight women don’t do as well. But there are a few SD that like that.
Don’t tell put you live at home in a profile.
Your biggest issue is the What I’m looking for section. That part is terrible. You don’t lecture POT SD on this lifestyle, that’s how you get nexted.

Laggsays:

So I was wondering why I don’t get as much messages as I assumed. I know I am pretty with substance and I know I am somehow a SB material so I’m starting to think that there’s something wrong either on my bio or with my pictures.

Can someone check my profile and tell me what I can improve? I’ll be happy to accept advice and criticisms or whatever you call it. Thanks. 😉

It will always be exciting to read through articles from other writers and practice a little something from their
web sites.

Cristina M4654says:

The Phil &amp Ted stroller is an superb option for everyday use.
To make matters worse, they also noticed that Jonah had a UK passport (Janelle and I had US passports) and had
a different last name than Janelle’s or mine. facility itself
is pretty impressive, and it includes some real cutting-edge innovations that bene.

not new but still havent found the right daddy, would it be too much to ask for someone to take a look at my profile and give me some thoughts? most appreciated in advance x

nonamesays:

blondb0ngs are you really that short your profile is fine but your location might be a problem if you can travel you might want to put that in your profile it will help generate interest good luck in your search

Frank95says:

The profile seems ok. At least nothing obviously wrong.

However, might I suggest that rather than have your location as Hamilton East, you just make it Waikato. Sometimes guys search on relatively narrow search criteria. For example, if I just search on Hamilton, I can’t see your profile. But there’s 60 women 18-28 slim/athletic/average to choose from. So, depending on the numbers of guys, it might be possible to get a SB without widening the search. Thus you miss out.

Next, maybe consider making contact yourself. There’s a lot more women than men on the site. So, initiating contact might help. That’s an opportunity to expand on your bio, but focusing on how your bio and his mesh up.

Third, your photos are in long dresses. Some guys like legs, so a shortish dress on one photo wouldn’t hurt.

Hello, please something must be wrong with my profile, could take time and look, I accept comments and suggestions, I have a year on the page. I speak Spanish and use a translator.

nonamesays:

sorry jane its your location thats the problem not you

Jane CDsays:

Please take another look at my profile and ask to see my private pictures, so I give opinions and recommendations on how to improve, because I often happens that many potential popes come on holiday to my country and want to contact me, we exchanged many messages until they see my pictures, then leave the contact. It has also happened to me when they saw my pictures and we keep talking but then disappear. I can travel outside my country, distance is no problem, many popes have expressed to me, but I know that does not gel at all. (sorry the faults of grammar and syntax is to use translator)

Jane CDsays:

Please take another look at my profile and ask to see my private pictures, so I give opinions and recommendations on how to improve, because I often happens that many potential popes come on holiday to my country and want to contact me, we exchanged many messages until they see my pictures, then leave the contact. It has also happened to me when they saw my pictures and we keep talking but then disappear. I can travel outside my country, distance is no problem, many dadys have expressed to me, but I know that does not gel at all. (sorry the faults of grammar and syntax is to use translator)

Anonymoussays:

Potential popes LMAO ………… I come here for the fucken humor

Jane CDsays:

I realized I did not mean popes, was Dady, but the translator did and I did not realize to send and to top it twice was sent -.- understood that the error was obvious and the message was understood. Lol

nonamesays:

jane i cannot look at your private pictures your profile looks fine to me the only thing i can see wrong is your location if you are able to travel you should put that in your profile that will help you a lot good luck

Okay thankyou, it’s great to know I’m doing something right:’)x I will take that advice and put it to good use!xx

ATLSDsays:

Ophelia
I agree with Elaine. Overall good profile. The picture with your friend has to go. Otherwise you work for me.

A Nonnymousesays:

Hi, refer to the advice above on not having group photos. Especially if everyone is of a similar shape and hair colour.

I am conflicted about the bike shot. It is actually a great idea, but the dress doesn’t flatter you. For example, in the second last photo, in that floral dress, you look HOT, but the dress in the bike shot is more comfortable than enticing.

Graduate degree? At 19? Either that’s not right…so don’t say it. Or, it’s so unusual, that you might as well say what graduate degree it is that you have already. PhD, MA, MSc….whatever it is, if you have it at 19, flaunt it a bit, it’s an achievement.

Ophelia123says:

Thanks for the advice and the compliments!xx I’ve changed the graduate degree part; what I meant to say is that I’m working towards a graduate degree (me being stupid). What if I cropped the shot with me in the floral dress? Would that prove a better profile picture?xx

elainesays:

I would do the black lace top, more intriguing.
Crop it a little and it will do fine as profile.

A Nonnymousesays:

@elaine & Ophelia,

The lace top is intriguing, I agree. The intrigue is that it could well be hiding a full figure…which from the floral dress we know is not the case. Also, the lace top photo has a strange bosom bulge suggestive of implants (which is ok if they are implants of course).

The original profile shot with the bike did have the advsntage of showing your legs in a natural, non tarty way. So, if you get rid of that photo, you might consider something just as natural featuring your legs. There are guys out yhere who appreciate nice legs like yours. Always take advantage of your natural assets.

So, by all means keep the lace top photo, but only if you keep the floral dress that says H.O.T.

My 2 cents.

Ophelia123says:

At 19, it would be a little hard to have got implants don’t you think?:’D But yes, I’m all natural haha,x
I’ve decided to keep all the photos (already cropped the group one) and go with all your advice… thankyou very much!xx

The problem is not her location but:
1. Being overweight
2. Being a smoker
3. Having all sorts of iron work sticking out of her face
$. Big tattoos!

I am not saying it’s impossible, but chances are odd….very odd!
Maybe in the BDSM section she will be more lucky.

nonamesays:

elaine true shes not mainstream but it looks like shes fitting in a niche market like emo or gothic ive seen this before it works for some buts not for everyone they won’t look like the normal sugar baby

She looks like almost every SB in my area except she’s a lot thinnner and has less tatts

Elainesays:

Hmm@noname, I am afraid there is not a lot of emo and gothic rich 40 somethings …

nonamesays:

elaine your showing your age some young people are into it its not my cup of tea but you should know from reading this blog guys don’t care about looks as long as they give them what they want not everyone on here is rich and has a high profile lifestyle

Basically she is a good looking girl, so everything that will keep her from sugar succes she has done to herself.
So yes, now she has to deal with it.

She didn’t have to stick nails and rings in her face, smoke, cover herself with tattoos and get overweight.

nonamesays:

elaine she won’t change the way she looks because thats the crowd she hangs out with if she tries to to look more mainstream sugar baby look she will be rejected by her peers her pool of SD will be small but she does have a chance a slim chance at that

lisa your profile is ok the only thing thats lacking is what you can bring to the arrangement such as long distance or nsa etc. but your new give it some time and good luck in your search

A Nonnymousesays:

Agree with noname. You might like to try, over a day or so, to write down all the reasons why a SD might want to be with you. Then, when you have a list, try and weave it into the bio.

For example, you have an interest in food. So, can you cook? If so, you could write that you’d like to cook things for a SD. You might think you are hot in bed. (Or not) So you might convey that discreetly either way…especially if you are looking for a platonic relationship…or not. 😉 Can you travel? Are you prepared to be exclusive to a SD?

ColtonSparkssays:

Hello everybody,
I joined Seeking a while back (8 months to be exact), and I have had no luck finding a sugar daddy. For the first time last month I met with a potential but all he wanted was sex and I am not one to go down the lane so needles to say it did not work out.
I have changed my photos, i’ve re-done my profile 2 or 3 times, and I feel nothing seems to be working. I have read the blogs and really started to pay attentions to the DO’s & DONT’S but I still feel like im missing something.
If any of you can give me a hand and pointers I would really appreciate it.
Thanks everyone.
Love lots.
Colton!

FormerAnonsays:

I am heterosexual, from The South and I believe that many stereotypes exist for a reason so with that in mind here is my advice.

1. Lose the pics in the spandex and in the lime green shorts and top. There is not anything wrong with those pics per say, but they pretty much are showing you off an an “object” to a degree. It is comparable to the many attractive female SBs I see on here that are in similar spandex and a jogging top that can’t figure out why guys are positively interested in sex with them. It is all the worse when they actually state “platonic only”. I am not sure from reading your profile if you are interested in platonic only, it sounds like you are not, but if you want to me looked at as less of an object do not put photos out there that make you easy to objectify.

2. It is spelled “right” not “rite”. You are looking for a SUCCESSFUL gay male in NYC even if YOU are 20yo they ARE NOT and txt talk is not cute past 17yo.

3. You are looking for a successful gay male in NYC….the only thing that says “I have two cats” more than that is a midwestern 50yo+ female that has never been married and has not kids and she has WAY MORE than 2 cats. And if they do not have cats or any other pets well they are probably not that interested in your total affection for your dog. And if they are a successful gay male in NYC surely their dog is well mannered and does not beg at the table. So change it up to say “I like pets and prefer dogs” in some kind of hip cool way that does not make you sound like a cat hater or someone that will come over and try and shut the cats in the bathroom “accidentally” while you are over. Lose the part about the bird if you can’t pick out “bird people” that is OK simply ask when you are messaging POTs if you think they might have a bird and cross them off if so. Remember you are trying to expand the field not narrow it down hoping that one guy finds you somehow. Get more inquiries and weed them out from a position of plenty not the opposite.

4. Change up the part about your fashion taste. I will compare it to girls I see that are attractive, but they have green hair in some pics, bright red in others and pretty much all of their pics are some earthy crunchy granola fashion style or maybe a bit of goth or emo tossed in. I am not saying those are YOUR styles by any stretch of the imagination, but again you are looking for an OLDER SUCCESSFUL MALE. I would say the same thing to you I would say to those girls. The older successful male is going to want to take you somewhere nice on occasion and he is not remotely interested in having to have a fashion discussion/argument/you are trying to control me moment before hand. He wants to know that you have the ability to show up dressed properly even if that is not how you prefer to dress when go out.

Remember an arrangement is about HASSLE FREE FOR HIM as much as it might be about you getting some things you desire. He can have an big long discussion about why looking like that to go where you are going is not how he prefers to arrive with someone in real life in a real relationship if he wanted that. It is find for a day at the park, going to one of those over priced, crappy service, hipster doofus spots around town or out shopping, but wen he wants to feel like an adult he expects you will also be an adult as well not a kid that wants to still get their way.

I see nothing wrong at all with the overall style you are presenting, but it is the absolute inflexibility that you express about how you like to dress that I see as not being attractive to a POT. I also do not actually see an abundance of jewelry at least in the pictures you showed and especially for today’s younger crowd. Hell there are girls on here with more metal in their face trying to get a “successful daddy” than you have on all over in all your pics combined, but again it is the “don’t care dress my way” attitude that you express that I feel is not working for you. Mix in a pic dressed as if you are actually going out to a function with a known older crowd and you are capitulating to try and “fit in” even if it hurts you and leave out the jewelry except for one or two specific matching pieces.

5. Leave out the part about “Christian Mingle” everyone knows what site this is and actually again that statement pretty much contradicts with the “not just looking for sex” statement. I am not saying that people that are not Christians do not form relationships based on deeper feelings or something other than sex, but subtle contradictions are an easy reason to simply “next” to another profile. It is like the statement about “lavish dates” right below that……combined with the “I wear what I want go that!” statements above. Contradiction equals conflict in the minds of many looking for a HASSLE FREE arrangement where both parties have some give and take in the arrangement. Again it is similar to the girls on here looking for “mentoring” and then in the next few statements they pretty much make it as clear as possible that they are looking for a “VERY SUCCESSFUL “mentor”” that will deal with their silly 20yo counter culture “I can change the world” (with YOUR money) attitude. Not much mentoring opportunity there more so an opportunity to listen to babbling, poor choice in college major, hate the rich, now give me YOUR money because I know better what to do with it nonsense. Who in TF wants to hear that crap and pay for it. I can go to a bernie sanders meeting for free.

Again I am not saying that is “you” I am saying read your profile from the perspective of the person you are aiming for and realize that an arrangement is often about two people stepping into a different arena. He can deal with SOME of you being younger (and you needing support and him paying the bills) if you can step up and go WELL MORE THAN HALF WAY to at least fit what he is looking for in the specific situations when you meet. This as you said is not Match dot com it is about two people that are crossing paths at a particular time in their lives and can make that work.

If you are not looking for ANYTHING physical Vs you are looking to be physical with someone that you share a deeper feeling with well there is probably no help for you and you will probably be less successful than the female SBs that are looking to be “arm candy” or “friends only” or other failed SB concepts. Make clear one way or the other because again your profile has a lack of clarity on that point and a lack of clarity means “next” for the SD looking at many profiles. No reason to waste your time of theirs if you are looking for platonic state that and then wait and wait and wait some more.

6. I will not go into the who biology of reproduction and procreation, but needless (well it should be needless) to say homosexual couples are really not capable of producing offspring or children. More so to the point you are in SEEKING ARRANGEMENT as YOU STATED so ditch the part about “not looking for kids”. Hell I do not even see 99.999999% of the female SBs on here go into that. I am 100% sure that a successful older gay male would have already found a life partner or a spousal equivalent and adopted by now if that is what they are looking for. So you pointing out that you are a gay SB looking for a SD on SEEKING ARRANGEMENT while not looking to “have kids” is pretty much the epitome of “no shit really”. It just puts out there a total “wtf where is this guy coming from” vibe. Lose that whole part there is no need to even try and rewrite it.

The other parts in there state much more clearly. State it much more directly again as YOU stated this is seeking arrangement. If you are open to physical companionship then state that more clearly and also state that you are not a sex object and there must be some chemistry there for it to work. Leave out the “love” and the deep level part make it more into something like “I might be young, but I am open to deeper discussions and intellectual conversations. Which leads to my last point.

7. Put SOMETHING in there about yourself besides you like dogs, don’t like cats and birds (which needs to go) and that your fashion is my way or the highway (which also needs to change). At least give them a hint that you are looking to a future and that you ave some world knowledge for those deeper discussions you say you are open to. I am going to go out on a limb here and pretty much assume that the vast majority of successful gay males in NYC can find a younger gay guy that wants to have a door opened for him and be taken on lavish trips and talk about deep things without seeking arrangement and most of them will probably at least like cats. But the issue with that is finding one that is not a total flake or a dunce and I am not saying that is you or you are that, but it is like a successful male looking for a younger female SB. You can go out and land then in real life, but then you have to figure out right then in real life if she will pull out a cigarette and burn a hole in your car or boat seats because she can’t handle her liquor and then puke on it to cover it up or if the one topic she could discuss in depth at Hooters is the ONLY topic she can discuss in depth and also is she a neurotic clingy loon. You come to seeking arrangement so look through profiles and see if the SBs can present themselves in a way where their bullshit at least matches up with reality. You know where you separate the actual college students from the 19yo med school students that live in a town that does not have a medical school within 500 miles even if they dis somehow get into medical school at 19yo.

I am not saying your profile has this type of BS in it, but what I am saying is your profile has NOTHING in it that makes you come off as interesting or that gives a SD a reason to pick you from others. You have presented yourself as just a young gay guy that likes to dress how he wants and is not looking for just sex. I would say the photos in the spandex and the lime green give a hint that you might like the outdoors and are pretty into extreme outdoor recreation, but those pics are obviously a long way away from NTY and again they lead to some objectification as well IMO. So perhaps see if you have other less “revealing” (again these photos are far from “reveling”, but see the example I used above in #1)from that trip and then put something in the profile about that and what activity/interest that was for you.

Best of luck to you.

Jaybird923says:

Jesus christ Former Anon! When will you learn to summarize. I gave up after #4

Gabrielle M1says:

Hi everyone,

i’ve officially been on SA for a couple of months now and I can’t seem to meet the right type of SD. All the one i’ve met so far we’Re looking for a “play & pay”arrangement or a “play & gift” arrangement which is not what i’m looking for. In the end, i’m writting this post because I wanted to know if someone could take a look at my profil and give me a feedback thank you.

Gabrielle
Your profile is fine. Demographics is not in your favor on SA. And possibly location though I do not know much your area at all.

I blog often and I truly appreciate your content. This article has really peaked
my interest. I will book mark your site and keep checking
for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS
feed as well.

Hey I would love it if someone could look over my profile and let me know what I have to improve.

Irissssays:

ATLSDsays:

Irisss. You need better pictures and get that picture with baby off… Today. That’s a great way to scare SD. The picture standing outside in a skirt is not flattering to you at all. Start over on the pictures. Your narrative is fine. You could add “Must love Stroopwafels”. 😉

@ALSO
You have been giving everyone some amazingly sage advice and I hope to get your opinion on mine as well?
At this point you should be Yoda rather than Vader 😛

ATLSDsays:

@K Hope. Thanks I prefer to stay on the Dark side of the force. Plus there is a regular blogger that fits Yoda better because his posts are run on gibberish. But I digress.

Your profile is ok though I would change your what I’m looking for to not sound so bitter. Lighten it up and say what you are bring to the table. You should add a full body picture in a nice dress or skirt with heels.

ColtonSparkssays:

@atlsd I agree with @K. It seems your’e advice has really helped out a lot of people. From what I have read with you’re responses you seem to know what you are doing. I would love some of the advice you have from my profile. Again, keep up the good work. Thanks again.

ATLSDsays:

Thanks Colton, I’m not well versed in gaybies but based on input I have read on this blog and others. It’s basically the same with the exception that you are dealing with less numbers of SD. So patience is your friend here. As for your profile I can see nothing wrong with it or your pictures. You may have better luck finding a SD IRL. Especially in your career choice and city.

😀

kati36says:

Hi everyone. Can you have a glance at my profile and point to things I need to improve? Thanks

ATLSDsays:

Kati. Your “What I’m looking for” is terrible and a total turn off. Leave the disclaimer of one nights out. Just ignore those guys. You need to put “what you are going to bring to the table” for the SD.

kati36says:

Thank you ATLSD. I thought it is kind of obvious and need not to be mentioned.

ATLSDsays:

Kati. A lot a SB will have half their profile with disclaimers. Those SB get NEXTED. All the guys that want pics, or play for pay, or videos are not SD. Its an unfortunate part of the gamer just ignore them all.

Kati much better. Now you need to a couple more picture. You can still be discreet but a close up would at least give an idea what you look like.

kati36says:

Thanks. I added pictures to the private.

I am nor in my teen and not dreaming about platonic relationship, crazy allowance, or anything out of realistic arrangement. But I desperately need an advice creating profile that will draw more attention. EVERY advice is welcomed. Adjustments is pictures I’ve posted could be easily made.
Thank you so much in advance, and good luck to everyone here!
Manuela

Sugar Babysays:

Hello,
I mentioned in my profile that I cosplay is it a good or bad idea to post a few photos of me in cosplay? I realized when adding photos I have very few photos of just me in street clothing their 99.9% in costume.

ATLSDsays:

There are a few cosplay girls on here. Some are damn hot there is a niche for that. It just may take you a while. I’ve also noticed that almost all them want platonic and just want to send pictures or videos.

Galadriel13says:

Hi all. Ok so new to this process. Looking for feedback on my profile as well as tips regarding navigating this whole process. Have had some interest shown my way, but good grief, mostly guys wanting sex for $. Definitely NOT my thing and told them so. Where are the nice older men with money looking to mentor and spoil? Lol

I agree. In fact when I lived in NYC I purposely avoided dating any girl from there. Most of them are void of logic.

Anonymoussays:

Is NYU a “collage” then?

Schollum1says:

I have been on the site for only one month and I have meet some wonderful girls no women and I am completely honest I think if you are a older gent that’s all you should have to say the rest falls into place

Anonymoussays:

What’s up with two men on your profile?

Anonymoussays:

that’s his shadow xD

Asyah Luxesays:

Whoops, forgot to log in for the comment!
Hello! I’m also looking for some profile feedback, if anyone has any. ?
Please let me know what you think if anyone has the time!
Thanks in advance!
The support is appreciated.

nissy are you having a hard time finding a sugar daddy?

nonamesays:

i asked that question because i didn’t see anything wrong with your profile

Nik763says:

Hello all! I am new to this site and this is my first time ever seeking a “sugar daddy”. Can someone please review my profile and tell me if you have any suggestions/ criticisms? I’ve been doing okay as far as meeting men but I want to make my profile even better. I’ve only been on this site for about 3 days now. Thank you!

SimplySweet9619says:

Hi everyone,
Would anyone like to look at my profile as well? I would love some constructive criticism. Please and thank you.

nonamesays:

i don’t know your profile sounds ok but you have only pictures of your face that is usually a sign of a lady being fat and trying to hide it post a full body picture that should help you get better responses good luck in your search

“I’m the type of woman that can stir your mind, body and soul with nothing more than a look.”

Many women are clueless…some are good at hiding their cluelessness though.

DamnVixensays:

I agree that a woman’s profile needs full body pictures as well as a face picture. It appears that teenage black girls, with just a high school education, are very common on this site. I really don’t know HOW a girl can “repackage” that in order to appeal to a sugar daddy.

My advice would be the same as what I said to CheriLove97 … you have to BE the kind of woman that a man WANTS to pay for her company. If you aren’t a super-model, then you need to be intriguing or appeal to his interests or hobbies.

My SD had just built a tennis court behind his house in order to play more, so the fact that I am a tennis player (as well as my background) especially appealed to him.

Look at the men’s profiles on this site that you would WANT to have as an SD and then BE the kind of woman that they are looking for.

Laurencesays:

This is very true, alot of my fellow black sugar babies don’t have much going on for themselves. They aren’t selling themselves in any capacity..but I think its alot of the young sugar babies in general.

Remove all “stipulations”. Everything else looks ok to me.

THEATLSDsays:

She needs to remove the entire profile. 99.8% of not succeeding other then P4P.

CheriLove97says:

I think I need a little bit of help with my profile. Many SD’s messaged me my first week on.. Some were only interested intimacy and others were not my type. So many members view my profile but so few message me now. I’m not sure why that is. Any advice? Should I fix anything on my profile?

DamnVixensays:

Well, welcome to the world of Sugar Dating. That is exactly what you are going to get as an 18 year old girl with a high school education. The men are only going to be interested in having sex with you – and aren’t likely to be in the age range or appearance of what you want to date.

You have to BECOME the kind of woman that men are going to be interested in and pursue and pay for her company.

You may wish to remove the item concerning seafood. In fact, you may wish to discontinue eating it lol.

THEATLSDsays:

@Cheri you will never get “moderate” lower your expectations to minimal or practical. Good luck

Anonymoussays:

I saw someone write that you won’t get moderate…Yes, you will. Just because certain people can’t afford you doesn’t mean someone out there can’t. Trust me…It wouldn’t be an option on the site if it was impossible.

No dear, successful SBs have something you don’t know about…
It’s called “class”.

So a woman as @Vixen can say she is “very sexually open minded” without ANY pot SD thinking her being an escort….

Courtneyxxxsays:

@Elaine
and how would you know that I don’t have class? As far as I’m aware from blogs you seem to be a miserable old middle-aged wannabe. I think my dresses are slightly classier.
No need to reply by the way, I don’t have the time to be an internet troll like you and your alliances seem to be. X

“and how would you know that I don’t have class? As far as I’m aware from blogs you seem to be a miserable old middle-aged wannabe.”

The second sentence answers the first.

Don’t ask for advice if you aren’t willing to risk not liking what you hear.

DamnVixensays:

@Courtneyxxx
You would be well-served by listening to someone like Elaine. She is the epitome of a “courtesan” … “mistress” type. Italian and exotic. No matter what her age, men will desire her and pursue her.

Since you’re a “Brit” … maybe this will make sense. What kind of “commoner” girl did a Prince of Britain marry? Kate Middleton.

Did she have black, artificial-looking, painted-on eyebrows? And thick fake eyelashes?

Does she wear dresses with her boobs hanging out?

Does she wear tattered jeans that are too tight, making creases in her flesh? Your picture with the long sleeved white shirt and crop-top is actually cute and passable. The outfits in the other pictures are not.

A wealthy man is going to see the photos of your makeup and clothing and think “cheap” and treat you like an escort. ESPECIALLY since there is nothing written in your profile to give them any indication that you are anything other than that. If you are good with that, then by all means … just continue with what you are doing.

If not … Kate Middleton is probably a very good role-model for how you should dress, do your make-up, and behave IN PUBLIC. Behind closed doors, be the biggest slut he can handle.

“open for arrangements to be negotiable and discussed between someone and myself, ultimately looking for someone to support me during the last few months of University!”

The photos look like a stripper or escort.

Anonymoussays:

@DamnWixen
appreciate the advice – will not take it on board as that’s my individual sense of fashion and style.
But, thanks, i’ll acknowledge that not all SD’s want an absolute plain jane.
Much appreciated.. x

We typically wait and see how they interact with others on the blog before giving specific advice. That helps us “somewhat” filter regular women from scammers.

DamnVixensays:

Ahh … well, there’s a place for every type. There are quite a few SDs who really do want an “escort” but want to pretend (in their own heads) that she is actually a college girl or struggling single mom. I thought I was doing those SDs a service. 😉

Courtneyxxxsays:

Every type? Not every individual has to have the same appearance for the same role. Yes, I’m a fourth year student at University. I really do not have to prove anything to you. I was only here to look for some advice and instead i’ve received unnecessary, repetitive and harsh comments about me looking like an escort? All because of the clothes/style i have? It’s 2015 i thought by now we’d be moving on from stereotyping.

Courtneyxxxsays:

@DamnVixen
“let’s say I’m I’m a very sexually open-minded, “knowledgeable” person … have pretty much no inhibitions.”
I think your PUBLIC profile to all SD’s suggests more of an escort-ish attitude than mine ever will. Thanks.

Courtney…You, unlike these washed up old hags on here, are cute and young. As such, unlike these nasty old hags, you will be in demand, on here.

Anonymoussays:

@Courtney is an old hag as well.

Courtneyxxxsays:

Thank you!! @IHF2030
I think they’re just trying to make themselves feel a bit better. It’s quite a shame, really. The continuous “escort” calling was an attempt to bring me down a notch. That will never happen.

Courtneyxxxsays:

I don’t acknowledge anonymous attempts of insult. Grow some balls and perhaps i’ll listen. In fact, I still won’t.

DamnVixensays:

@Courtneyxxx
We “washed up old hags” have sugar daddies that pay very well and we know how to find them, and don’t have to ask for advice on our profiles or photos.

You are going to have to develop a thick skin if you want to be in the sugar lifestyle. You are going to be constantly stereotyped and judged. The assessments you are being given are fair. You can be offended, or you can learn from them and improve.

Apparently, what you are doing is NOT resulting in the type of men or money that you want. Otherwise, you would not be asking for advice. We washed up old hags are getting what we want … without the “youth.” Maybe … just maybe, we know what we are talking about. We DO have a lot more years of experience with men to draw upon.

I did NOT insinuate that you had to prove to me that you were a graduate student. However, I did point out, that the few sentences on your profile that are not even well-thought-out or written correctly, do NOT convey the impression to any reader that you are educated.

Look back to my posts about the “Kate Middleton type” … that “look” and demeanor is going to get you the best offers. Ditch the heavy artificial make-up, fake eyebrows and eyelashes, and trashy clothing and DRESS and LOOK like a woman that a wealthy man wants to be seen with in an expensive restaurant.

If you continue to just be offended when you are being given quality advice … well … then get a job, find a “traditional” relationship, have a few kids, and get out of sugar dating. If it isn’t instinctual for you and you aren’t having any success and you won’t listen to women who do well …

How can someone look fat on his photos and still put ‘Athletic’ as body type? LOL.

TVC15says:

Delusional, like Fundude.

UltimateSBsays:

@Ladi, I have analysed @Anonymous and come to the conclusion that he gets some sexual gratification from trolling.He is most likely an overweight unexposed white male who has always been a subject of ridicle all his life.And commenting BS on here is the closest he can get to having an actual conversation with a female.

Hi- I’m brand new here and have a major question to ask: Is it possible to have a relationship with an SD that 100% does not involve sex?

elainesays:

Sure! As long as you’re ok with a relationship that 100% does not involve allowance.

Just a curiousity: Where did you get the idea that men on this site need to pay for platonic “friends”?
You really, seriously think that affluent businessmen need to pay people for “friendship” and not having to dine alone?

IMHO, Laura is just throwing out a giant shit-test and looking for her mega-alpha future husband to over-ride her “100% determination” while half-naked in her undies and sweep her off her feet/ass.

It’s a dangerous game, not for the faint of heart.

NotjustAlmasays:

@Belalaura. I think it’s possible. A friend of mine had an old SD who couldn’t have sex due to medical issues. He gave her moderate allowance monthly and according to her it worked really well. He just liked her company and pleasing her. It’s possible but that’s like finding a needle in a hay stack. Which SB wouldn’t want such an arrangement lol.

nonamesays:

notjust yes if a sd can’t have sex or lost interest in it because he’s too old then it might work but that leaves her with a small pool of suitors to select from but anyone that is healty will want it and won’t pay for a non sexual arrangement

Ladisays:

@Notjust…Yeah it’s possible. I heard a similar story whereby the SB got a huge allowance in exchange for few tramples a month.. No sex. All she had to do what trample on the SD. @laura..If you are lucky you might find such an arrangement. @Annonymous..She is mixed.

elainesays:

@Alma

We all know the stories of SBs TELLING they don’t have sex with their SD.

Yes, and Santa Claus exist, lives at the Northpole with his 18yo SB and flies through the air with his sleigh and red nosed reindeer named Rudolph!

So sad….being so embarrased about your SD that you are trying to convince other people you’re not having sex with such disgusting, old, gross person…

So hypocritical… Even if he only wants to be trampled, that is not because it sexually arouses him?

So childish… dishing out these stories to your GFs, just to make yourself look so much more desirable as them. As you get paid only for your fabulous presence whereas they have to provide sex to get an allowance.

C’mon, it is so transparent, I can’t believe women are still buying this!

UltimateSBsays:

@Alma: Lol. @which Sb wouldn’t want such an arrangement.

NotjustAlmasays:

@noname: A really small pool and I doubt that SA has such suitors.
@Ladi: From the profiles I’ve seen so far, No SD is looking to be just trampled. lol.It comes with the ‘mistress’package.
@Elaine: Yeah maybe she was lying or maybe not..Who knows!

Anonymoussays:

If you had commented, then that would’ve been OK.

Jaybird923says:

I know that she is. But you didn

Jaybird923says:

Sorry on my phone. You specifically mentioned black SBs that why I asked if you would’ve just said wanna be’s with no experience who are struggling, I would have just agreed with you. Was just wondering if you had a specific reason for why the race would make a difference.

Anonymoussays:

I agree with @jaybird923.
Race has nothing to do with it and she said her friend had experience, not herself. She has a right to tell whatever she knows or has heard from her friends experience with platonic.

IHF2030says:

Time for the Guinness and cashews, again.

Anonymoussays:

Mixed = both/all

All “Other” does not = black

sweetlarksays:

i did see one account where the SD wanted to be dominated in every aspect: forced into chastity, SB has access to his budget and knows his pin number, he kneels at your feet while you shop online… things like that… the profile’s deleted now though, so either it was phony or someone snatched him up very quickly.

@anonymous yeah i wouldn’t be surprised, i got a weird vibe from his profile picture

Anonymoussays:

Suree

Bobsays:

Yup – they usually own flying pig farms.

Cool Nerdsays:

I try to echo my own personality, goals and vision on my profile. I’d want to give readers a gist of who I am, what I’m looking for and what I can be. Lol, sometimes I feel what I’ve written is overlooked, which is understandable, since most guys are visual and would prefer to just see pictures. But I still think having a well-written profile can articulate my intentions — and how I can be a match to someone.

Elaine. I was bored at work. It will work itself out.

Anonymoussays:

@Sweet Tyraa, get a job. You are wasting time here.

UltimateSBsays:

It is true that most of the SDs on here are white and most of them prefer white women, thereby making it difficult for coloured ladies. However some white men prefer Black SBs mostly because of the body features; thick lips, big boobs, curvaceous body, big booty etc. I have read your profile and I must say from what I see no SD will be contacting you anytime soon. If you want that to change a lot of things have to go.
1) ‘’I like to experience new things such as living life and making unforgettable memories’’. Huh? What does that even mean? Scratch that. Be specific! Do you like adventure? Yes. State them. That’s better than I like to experience new things.
2) ‘’I am charming, I am very very timid at times but once I warm up and get to know you I’m a blast to be around’’- Helloo! No one needs to know that. Maybe during the first date. And what do you mean you are a blast to be around…..Are you a bomb? These are Educated sophisticated SDs, you need to sound like one. Project yourself as a fun, thrill seeker even not some naïve newbie.
3) ‘’I enjoy reading and writing poetry, it’s one of my best quantities’’. NO! Rephrase it as ‘’ Reading and writing are some of my best qualities’’. But reading isn’t a quality really. So you might have to change that and put it as a hobby instead.
4) ‘’I like to sit and relax, it’s not all about going out every night’’ – You like to sit? Who doesn’t sit? Lol. I like to relax at home with a book if I’m not out partying with friends on rare weekends sounds better. That way you come off as decent and educated.
5) Let’s not kid ourselves we are all here for some kind of financial benefits no matter how little. So stating on your profile ‘’I am not the kind of lady who is looking for a man to use his money’’ isn’t important. I would say ‘’Looking for mentorship and assistance with the right SD’’.

60% of the SD’s on here are looking for the same thing. Some Fun, Educated, sexy. The key to getting messages is to have an attractive profile.
And the picture…OMG. Delete them. Horrible! Horrible! Horrible! Makeup sister! You have to take your time snap a sexy picture with make up on and upload. And don’t make all your pictures public just one. And the rest Private. Your profile picture has to be a killer! That and a good profile.

These are a prerequisite and a given so don’t need to be mentioned. 😉 Also, they are pretty common on SB profiles, from what I’ve heard.

Just my opinion. Good luck!

NotjustAsays:

Noted! Thanks. x

nonamesays:

kore hope you had a good holiday

THEATLSDsays:

I agree with Kore13. Take her suggestions otherwise I like it. Your new so give it some time. Not sure how long it takes in England but it can be a few weeks to months to find the right person. Good luck.

hi notjustalma hope your doing well here good luck in your search

Quackersackersays:

All the sugars should read this

nonamesays:

yes they should

lolasays:

I have been on this website for one year as a sugar baby. Changed my profile lots of times, followed the advices on the blog here. Contacted and exchanged a few sentences with a few sugar daddys. I even met 3 ( the 4th one did not show up to the date, first he said he was 10 minutes late, then another 10 minutes then he mentioned that “he really wanted to have good sex with me tonight” and we had never talked about any sex before…i waited again, in total for 45 minutes then told him that i would leave in 5 Minutes but 10 minutes later he still was not there…)
I figured out that a small….very small percentage on this website get a sugardaddy/baby relationship.
Then there is:
a huge percentage of men who are not rich with profiles where they are lying
a huge percentage of men who are here just to make fantasies without actually daring to meet a sugar baby
a huge percentage of those that contact you, will pass by your town and then ask you how much you want for meeting up: only looking for a escort without wanting actually to book one on the appropriate website
a percentage of men who make a profile saying they want a sugar baby and then when you meet them they tell you immediately that they are looking for a woman/girlfriend to move in with them and that´s what they meant with financial support!

In general, girls, sugar babies, there is probably nothing wrong with you or with your profile, is just that you will waste lots of time ( like I DID unfortunately) writing, replying to men that will ask you pictures and another picture while their profiles are almost empty. We justify that by saying that they are rich busy men, but BULLSHIT!!! A very small percentage will actually come out of the anonymity of the internet to meet you real time!!!!
I am so disappointed by this website!!!!!!

You’re not getting no arrangement any time soon. Get a job or try to improve your performance at that job to get more money instead of wasting your time here.

Middle Eastern Boysays:

I been on the website looking for gay sugar daddies, but no luck.
I have read how to improve on pictures and profile, but no luck so far?
I’m not a model nor fat, just an average guy.
What I’m doing wrong?

Looks like I need to edit my profile. Lol. I do appreciate the tips and I’m certainly going to continue reading as much information as I can. Thanks for the suggestions.

THEATLSDsays:

95 percent of the SB need to edit their profile. Why do you have a profile picture with two women in it. Is the blond part of the package? If not, you are being disingenuous. Number one rule of pictures on SA is not to have anybody else in them.

Hello, yeah this paragraph is genuinely good and I have learned lot of things from it about blogging.
thanks.

foreverone_187says:

So I’m very new to all of this. I was wondering if anybody knew what most SDs will pay just for companionship. I’m not really looking for a beneficial relationship? What do most SD want from a sugar baby? I guess my main concern is knowing what I want in a SD and my amount. I know I would like an allowance every month, but I’m not sure of what I should be expecting? Can anybody SBs give me some advice?

Anonymoussays:

$0

Attica Msays:

i suggest you read some SB blogs on tumblr, i have a few saved if you would like to read them but these are the wrong questions to be asking and most people here arent looking to give advice. you should do your own research. <3

lolasays:

Yes I agree.
I have been on this website for one year as a sugar baby. Changed my profile lots of times, followed the advices on the blog here. Contacted and exchanged a few sentences with a few sugar daddys. I even met 3 ( the 4th one did not show up to the date, first he said he was 10 minutes late, then another 10 minutes then he mentioned that “he really wanted to have good sex with me tonight” and we had never talked about any sex before…i waited again, in total for 45 minutes then told him that i would leave in 5 Minutes but 10 minutes later he still was not there…)
I figured out that a small….very small percentage on this website get a sugardaddy/baby relationship.
Then there is:
a huge percentage of men who are not rich with profiles where they are lying
a huge percentage of men who are here just to make fantasies without actually daring to meet a sugar baby
a huge percentage of those that contact you, will pass by your town and then ask you how much you want for meeting up: only looking for a escort without wanting actually to book one on the appropriate website
a percentage of men who make a profile saying they want a sugar baby and then when you meet them they tell you immediately that they are looking for a woman/girlfriend to move in with them and that´s what they meant with financial support!

In general, girls, sugar babies, there is probably nothing wrong with you or with your profile, is just that you will waste lots of time ( like I DID unfortunately) writing, replying to men that will ask you pictures and another picture while their profiles are almost empty. We justify that by saying that they are rich busy men, but BULLSHIT!!! A very small percentage will actually come out of the anonymity of the internet to meet you real time!!!!
I am so disappointed by this website!!!!!!

making fun of the obvious escorts asking for profile critique is what we do best here, i would say 90% of the ones who look for help are hookers

Anonymoussays:

SD’s don’t care about zodiac signs. It also sounds like you don’t have much time available for the arrangement because you are too busy with school. You also limited your SD demographics. I predict an uphill battle for you.

THEATLSDsays:

I have used “y’all” on here. But the force is with me so I get a pass.

Anonymoussays:

Ya’ll is a word.

MrLaughALotsays:

I’m often looking for what the SB brings to the table other than her “goodies”. So make sure to give us a hint of what we are in for and don’t just say “treat you like a king”, give examples. We….or maybe just me….I want to see hints at how you will make me feel special.

YannaBabysays:

That’s a very good point. I will be editing my profile.

YannaBabysays:

I am new to this website and I am curious to hear your feedback about my profile. I have a realistic view of this whole process so I will be patient and see what happens. I still have pics to add. I just created my profile. Thank you.

Anonymoussays:

You will struggle at this site. You’re black, you’re fat and you’re old.

Anonymoussays:

tru dat

YannaBabysays:

That’s not criticism. That’s just plain rude. Post your pics. We all have flaws. One person’s fat & old is another person’s not. Very unprofessional. My color I can’t help. You’d be surprised how many men like thick chocolate on this site. I’ve gotten response.

here are a bunch of grumpy old men that want a PYT. i think your profile is great, but not for this site.
much love <3

YannaBabysays:

Thank you so much for your honesty.

Attica Msays:

try arrangmentseeker

<3

YannaBabysays:

Oh ok. I never heard of it. Thank you…I am a sexually open person but also need some assistance. I will check out that site. ☺️ Because the response I received wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.

it has worked financially for a couple of my friends. I hope it works for you <3

YannaBabysays:

That defaults to this site, there’s arrangementfinders

Anonymoussays:

@Anonymous

“How about more sugar daddy’s be honest about their income and net worth. so tired of seeing an income of 100,000+ and net worth of 2 million+ but being asked if I will accept $100 per meeting”

If that’s what you appear to worth, that’s what you are being offered.

“and me saying that I would like a minimum of at least 3,000 a month”

If you are asking for $3,000/month and you are being offered $100/meeting, something is off.

Let’s do some role playing…

Say, you go to Walmart and apply for job. They gladly give you a form to fill. You ask for salary, they tell you $8/hour. You say I want $100/hour. They laugh at you.

Say, you go to IBM and try to apply for a job. IBM can pay “someone” $100/hour, right? Heck, they can pay “somone” even $300/hour. IBM does not even give you a form to fill. They ask you to go online and fill a form and they will call you when they may need you. You keep waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting…You got back to IBM to figure out why. They ask you to wait for a reply. You keep waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting…Do you get the picture?

“One, I’m not a cheap hooker”

Of course you are not. You are a expensive hooker wanna be but don’t want to work your way up. You want to start at near the top and then go higher.

“I’m a young intelligent woman that is looking for an established man to share my life with and build something together.”

Take a ticket and wait in line…and keep waiting and waiting and waiting and…you get the picture, right?

“What I desire to have as an allowance is pretty low considering what some of these guys profiles “claim” they make. Both parties have to be honest.”

Of course IBM pays millions of dollars to some of their superstars, but if IBM does not pay some of that money to you then what does that tell you?

“Just tired of all of the bs and getting dumb ass messages for a year now.”

Play Boy Bunnysays:

Hey @Elaine I am new to this site and have only gotten a few views of my profile. Could you give me some assistance as to what I should do to attract some more attention to my profile?
I have recently been reading up on some of the articles posted and I find them very informative. The discussions under them are also very interesting and eye opening.
Your assistance will be appreciated.
Thanks in advance

Anonymoussays:

Put up a topless photo and tell the SD what you are willing to do for him

Niyafulsays:

I agree that you’re profile is supposed to show you. If you’re profile is interesting and everything, but your messages or you in person don’t match up, then at that point, I don’t think your profile is the problem.

Sugar Babysays:

I would love it if someone could please check my profile and give my some helpful tips ^^ i feel like there’s something wrong with it; maybe i was too demanding? or maybe my profile isn’t original enough? I get quite a few views but feel as though men don’t want to talk to me because of my profile? Thank you in advance

I like the biting remark . It shows some playfulness –and perhaps a willingness to be naughty . Your profile is fine for me . I would contact you if we were near each other .

Anonymoussays:

SA is really going down hill fast. Even the search doesn’t work. Are they in financial trouble?

Anonymoussays:

How about more sugar daddy’s be honest about their income and net worth. so tired of seeing an income of 100,000+ and net worth of 2 million+ but being asked if I will accept $100 per meeting and me saying that I would like a minimum of at least 3,000 a month is absurd.

One, I’m not a cheap hooker, I’m a young intelligent woman that is looking for an established man to share my life with and build something together.

Two: What I desire to have as an allowance is pretty low considering what some of these guys profiles “claim” they make. Both parties have to be honest.

Just tired of all of the bs and getting dumb ass messages for a year now.

Most SDs are not looking to “build something” with his SB. We want a pleasant escape full of no drama,fun ,and lots of sex. Maybe you need to look at Match or Christian Mingle

uboat509says:

Regardless of what the POT SD is making a year, $40,000 or $4,000,000, $100 for an initial meet-and-greet meeting where both of you are just going to be getting to know each other is, IMHO, perfectly acceptable for about an hour of the SB’s time. And, that does not make her a “cheap hooker” or “cheap” anything. On the contrary, she is making $100 for one hour of her time enjoying the company of a gentleman and a cup of coffee at a local restaurant or similar.

The philosophy that because he is rich and can afford to pay premium he should is not a welcomed point of view. It is like the POT SD goes to a pre-owned car sales lot, and because he looks like he is $100,000+ net worth, the sales person tells him the car he is interested can be sold to him for 70% more because he can afford it as he is rich.

I think SB efforts should be focused on what they are seeking, serious evaluation of what they can offer in terms of companionship, attractiveness, personality, behavior, etc., and what the available SD market will actually offer her based on that previous evaluation. In other words, if the current SD market is, in general, looking for a certain type of woman, for instance, the current voted SB of the year physical and personality qualities, then women who deviate from that “ideal” may not receive similar offers, and that does not make the SDs jerks. It is basically just what they seek vs what it is available and what they are; therefore, willing to provide.

I also agree with the poster stating. It is not what the SD is net worth, but what amount they have as disposable income for this activity.

How do I look up ladies profiles? Just to check them out.

Also how do you SB’s go about safety and asking for an allowance?
I don’t want to sound rude or unappreciative. Any advice would be helpful.

Sarah_Rosesays:

1. you can only see a profile of a SB that appears in these comments who have logged in using their SA login (ie., mine and yours).
2. You are cute and have a lot of potential, however, you have to earn sugar. No SD is looking for just arm candy. They want their play time. Your profile is all you you you. Arrangements are mutually beneficial. What are you offering?

uboat509says:

You grasp the concept of the SD/SB relationship completely and in an excellent way in “No SDs is looking for just arm candy. They want their play time.”

I scratch my head every time I read a profile stating “Expectation: Substantial” and “I am not looking for anything sexual”. It gives me the impression of self-entitlement, perhaps a lost princess, or something. Perhaps there are some SD who will be happy to give an allowance and be content with just arm candy. But, the majority are not, and they state so in the different Internet forums where the topic is discussed.

Mr. Southernsays:

What good is perfecting a perfect profile when your communication with people sucks…., courtesy goes a long way in communication skill, whether you like someone or now. Sure I get it some random request to view your profile if bland and I would ignore as well, but we are here looking for a connection. If you interested, simply say no thank you and move on. And for those who just want to pimp themselves and nothing else, so be it, but atleast be upfront about it.

I’m looking for a man that know how to keep secret, that is truefull, loving, kind, romantic in everything we do together. He must not hit on lady, he must like sports and NASCAR racing to. He want to try new things in life with me. Like to take trips with me sometimes, and don’t mind if I have one leg.

I just have to say, This was an awesome article! It helped me a lot!! I am fairly new and still learning so I am glad I was able to read this and learn something from it. Thanks

Kieleesays:

Hmm thanks for the tips and advice!

giaGsays:

I’m an ‘older’ SB, 40+, and for some sugar daddies that’s a non issue, but at least for the one I will begin an arrangement with (he’s 50) it was part of the selection process. To paraphrase what he said to me,”If she can’t string a sentence, her grammar is bad, I don’t care how big her boobs are…”

I still don’t think it’s younger gals, or just the ‘millennials’, plenty of older men outside of SA, in the vanilla dating world, are sloppy when it comes to text, the written word and such. And for me, yes it’s a turnoff when someone can’t communicate well, unless they aren’t native English speakers.

TheTrinasays:

“Good grammar is a rarity in millennials.”

Because I overanalyze everything, I’ll shift my focus to this quote. Without knowing any actual data (and how it was retrieved, of course), I am assuming that this is merely a casual observation. It would be easy enough to gather enough (older) people who think that millennials don’t have good grammar, making it appear to be true without any empirical evidence for validation. As a social science student, it is instinct for me to see if there are any alternative explanations to this perceived phenomenon.

1) How do you even measure any generations’ grammar? Do you listen to their everyday casual speech, formal speech or read their essays, Facebook profiles, dating profiles, texts, and so on? Sociolinguistics spoiler: people communicate differently within contexts. Think of how many millennials you actually communicate with. Is it enough to come even close to a random sample? Or are you just reading articles about stupid things millennials have said? Within the context of Seeking Arrangement, and which I think is most likely, is that a lot of babies are of lower socio-economic class, meaning less or poor education. This is just a conjecture, since I don’t actually know the demographics of who uses this site. Although I may just be making a crude, short-sighted judgement. Don’t forget about othering. Where I live (in the US Pacific Northwest pretty much a half hour from the border), Canadians come here to shop very often. A lot of my friends and acquaintances complain about how bad Canadians are at driving. A church leader I like listening to was talking about how he once counted the number of times another car in the area cut him off etc., and found that they were pretty equally Canadian and American. Not a scientific experiment, but it puts the situation in perspective. We are so peeved that the shopping parking lots are always full and it’s practically impossible to get around Costco with a cart because of the visiting shoppers that we try to find other bad (or exotic) qualities about them. Who knows, maybe Canadians ARE worse drivers, but it’s funny I hear complaints about their driving from my friends when they come from Seattle. (It rains all of the time in WA – LEARN TO DRIVE IN IT!!) So what I am saying is that baby boomers and other generations may feel the need to “other” other generations.

2) It could be age. Sure, if that was the case, it would mean that millennials DO have a problem with grammar, but that they will grow out of it. That also means that previous generations and future generations (if we have any, one of those “it’s the end of the world” people could be right within the next few years) have gone or will go through the same ordeal.

Maybe with the internet, texting, and whatever else we use, millennials really do have bad grammar compared with before…OR we are rapidly re-developing the English language, mwahahaha. I mean, English IS a living language, and with technology, many of what humans have known for centuries and millennia is changing like we have never seen before.

Anyways, writing all of this was just for fun. I’m not harboring any ill feelings (why would I?). It’s also good to keep in mind that “bad” grammar may actually be stylization. It’s not like I tried to use perfect grammar while writing this. I feel it gives me more of a voice. It has been fun commenting here, but it would have been better if I didn’t keep misspelling “millennial”. (Maybe, afterall, we were cursed to have bad spelling and grammar, having to be called a word that is so confusing to spell, at least for me.)

Kieleesays:

Whoop whoop …lol I agree ..a lil abreviation here and there along with some slang or even diliberate mispelled catch words and phrases doesn’t necessarily mean that the intelligence level isn’t a desirable one at all. I personally believe it shows more about your character. And personality is key here! I believe some imperfections are actually perfect. More real, more personal, more fun ! My opinion totally, but I had to say at least that much. .. lol fo sho! My advice is don’t be fake be you no matter what that might be. There’s someone out there for every one …Be proud and don’t change or adjust the real you in order to impress. .. what a bore and what a chore. ..really who’s happy being on their tippy toes all evening or night long? Be yourself! No matter what that is! !!!

Elainesays:

@Kielee

Whoop whoop, ever have been thinking what kind of men will be able to pay allowances?
It is successful businessmen, most probably in their 40 to 50’ies.

You really think they like “lil abreviations”?

Continue “being yourself”, continue using “diliberate mispelled catch words” and not paying attention to like how you communicate with potential SDs and soon you will be back here LOL, asking what you do wrong and why you totally can’t secure a serious LT SD. LOL.

But hey!
Maybe we “old” SBs should not awaken sleeping dogs, and thank you “young SBs” for “being yourself”, because it will like drive all the quality SDs totally straight into our arms! 😉 LOL

I feel your pain, but most ppl there days use mobile devices and typing on a virtual keyboard can be a paid, especially a small one on a phone…. Cheers

SlavGirlsays:

This article is really helpful, maybe my profile will spark now 😀

I like your profile, SlavGirl. I don’t have immediate plans to be in Europe, but I do get there for extended periods in my travels. I may well send you a line if/when I do, but, regardless, best of luck to you!

Can anyone check out my profile….confused about why it is taking me so long to find somebody.

Naadiyasays:

Can anyone give me some tips?

lovelynyourssays:

You should post this on the most recent blog post; active commenters don’t usually look at older posts.

First and foremost, please get rid of the picture where you’re holding your hoo-hah. It just screams hooker and it’s distracting; not in the way you’re hoping. No man who is seeking something long-term as you are is going to be attracted by that photo. Also, focus more on what you bring to the table and what makes you unique from all the other pretty women on the site.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Naadiya – I’m going to be very blunt here…your profile SCREAMS hooker…it says NOTHING that communicates to a SUGAR relationship.

You’re overly sexualized pics, your lack of any substance in your profile text…it blends right in with the hookers from eros, backpage and everywhere else.

If you’re REALLY looking for sugar, you’ll go to some of the more recent posts, look at comments made by SDs and SBs about what type of text to attract a SD and you’ll rewrite everything…or…you’ll continue to have the same interactions you currently have…either way, good luck to you…

Kieleesays:

Wow …interesting. .. I am new to this site and honestly spent all of about 5 minutes on profile. I’m not sure if I should try to put a lot of detail into the bio or just let ‘er roll and add to and edit along the way ?? What do ya think ?

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

If you’re having success, keep it like it is…if you’re frustrated, read advice given to others and make ONE change…if you’re still frustrated, make another change…until you’re happy with the results…I have nothing else I would say about your profile.

We don’t communicate on on older blogs.

SweetAmbrosiasays:

Alright, so my deal is that I don’t know what to add to my profile, what pictures, to use, and so on. I really need help finding a good sugar daddy. So far, I’ve had responses from are creeps or men who want to see “more”. What can I do to improve my chances of finding a good SD?

Daniellesays:

Hi. I have been consciously and unconsciously considering the pros and cons of joining the sugar lifestyle for about a year. As a newly christened college student, I have only one question I haven’t found a definite answer for, and I’m hoping I can get some insight. I am not unlike any other SB on here except for the fact that I am totally blind. While this in no way hinders my personal and career-related accomplishments, I understand that having no sight might be a surface issue that SDs are not willing to work with. Thoughts?

Just make your profile specific to what you are or are wanting. Many men love when woman take charge and are looking for just that. You never know. Go for it!

Priscilla Jsays:

I’ve seen a lot of your responses to posts on these bogs and I would love love LOVE it if you could take a look at my profile and give me some pointers on how to get a good SD. I get views, but no one is biting

Josh. @brook,if youre in college then you should no how to spell “SPOILT ITS SPOILED nt with a t.

LucyLovesays:

will do

@ lucielove repost on newest blog sweetie.

LucyLovesays:

If I post my profile nr up here will some of you give me some advice?

Not sure how to explain but….

I want an emotional connection first before I let a man into my temple, that way I won’t have to feel like a prostitute. Furthermore, I don’t necessarily need a SD’s money but I could use it since college is not cheap. I basically just want a mentor that is willing to guide me or teach me how to make money on my own. I study International Business and Management and I want to start my own company, perhaps I can find a willing SD that doesn’t mind putting his time and effort into making a young student survive on her own. In my profile I make this very clear without sounding too harsh or independent.

If there happens to be an emotional connection or great chemistry between me and my mentor then I will consider letting him into my temple but initially it isn’t about the money or sex but just about the mentoring. If a SD offers to help me finically I won’t turn his offer down because I could really use it to pay some of my college loans off.

TsKatesays:

@Jordan R.

Men will think that you are a loud, obnoxious and tacky woman if that is the way you portray yourself. If you are not like that, don’t worry about it. By the way some guys love loud tacky women. There’s an audience for every show.

If a guy judges you because of where you are from (Brooklyn), do you really want to be with that guy? He sounds kind of lame.

Yes, many of the profiles are white men and a LOT of white men LOVE black women. All of my previous boyfriends have been white, some of them had pretty bi-racial kids. These are the men who approach me and who I get along with. If you are into it go with it. Don’t be so hard on yourself!!!

Why would you scare anyone away? If a guy is afraid of you or your profile he is not the guy for you. The guy for you will not be afraid of you!!

You also wrote you want guys to get the message from your profile that they should come back and you wrote this in all CAPS. Honey, don’t be desperate. That is the fastest way to get someone who does not deserve you and will mistreat you.

There is no shortage of wealthy men on this website or outside your door. Your SD will find you if you don’t find him first. He will like you for everything that you are.

TsKatesays:

I have have been on SA a few days now. Can you guys give advice on my profile like you do for other girls? sa# 1984179

I am also on match and pof and I get a lot of messages from guys online. Men also approach me in public as well so don’t mention my being a transgendered girl as a problem. Whether you believe it or not there are many straight men who like tgirls. Im am sure I will have luck here as well but I want to make sure Im doing it right because I read a lot of complaints about the profiles.

Please give advice on the photos and text. Again my profile is sa# 1984179

aliceSsays:

Hi all, my SD suddenly changed town of our meeting. First one, as soon as I told him I’m ok with traveling there, since I have friends over there. Am I overreacting thinking it’s a red flag? I told him I won’t travel, and that I wish him luck with next SB.

That was my original line. You have to come up with your own original line.

It was more like “skimming” comprehension on my part, or there lack of, because I just skimmed your post and not actually read it. 😉

Zacksays:

Ok, Sweetie, if you wish.

@DH…I DO feel like my toes are being nibbled on. Perhaps she did do me a favor.

@Josh…live and learn, it might be easiest to get stuck in our own perspectives when we know we have it right. One thing to do is try to get what “right” is going to be before the trials begin. I defined mine, unintentionally, too much through what I -didn’t- want (had some long and recent experience there.) Unfortunately, that still keeps pink elephant references in my head…hard to avoid. I really do have difficulty not talking about my own drama and laying out plans of how I could change an SB’s life.

If I think things like changes in marriage, family, work, money and housing are stressful to me…well, I’ve been looking at them for some time now, so I should probably be a bit more reserved with the ladies, usually…b/c I tend to propose all of that at once. Eh. Likely not the “right” way to do it, or even a good one.

I have a problem with honesty. It’s hard for me to stop. I’ve learned to use that tactically…when did that happen??

@Josh “@Zack:
I am “glad” that you find sweetie’s response/perspective useful to find the right SB for you. ”

Talk about lack of reading comprehension.

Jordan R.says:

Hey guys! I lovelovelove this blog, for the past week or so I’ve stayed up until the weee hours of the morning switching between this and my geeky finance blogs I’m always on lol I think I’m addicted.
I’ve finally got up the balls to ask you guys’ opinions of my profile. #1974832
My concern is that the majority of SDs who view my profile may be intimidated by my set lifestyle expectation and assume I’m a gold digger… and/or that I’m the stereotypical loud, obnoxious and tacky black woman. From Brooklyn, might I add lol. I see the majority of profiles here are of white men.
I have dated older/younger, wealthy, some white some not men and we have always had a great time, made some lasting friendships. I just don’t want to scare anyone away with my profile. Lol it’s just so hard to get COME BACK! I’M A GREAT PERSON out in 50 words or less.

Zack: I thought perhaps you were merely guilty of misdemeanor chumming for chics, but your whole carcass is in the water being chomped by the sharks.

Joshsays:

@Zack:

I am “glad” that you find sweetie’s response/perspective useful to find the right SB for you. 😉

Zacksays:

Thanks, Sweetie, your understanding is welcome. “Drama” … “experience” perhaps mostly a matter degree, or urgency, or successful resolution. So maybe I’m not ready. On the other hand, working with divorce, too much residential real estate, and no real claims on my daily time…I’m not looking for a normal person with a normal job and normal concerns…Our worlds wouldn’t mesh well. So I tend to focus on younger ladies, able to relocate, with ambition or “stuck” that I think I might be able to change….and that I find interesting. Do I need to put on an age bottom? that might close off all candidates…they have real lives and…”Nobody wants a part of your drama” has been a mantra of mine for a while…I was busy a while and forgot that.

Screwing up, particularly in a way I have done before, hurts. Being used, even if I deserve it, makes me bitter. I feel a drive to hoist a black flag and start cutting throats, to do unto others as they have done unto me. If I go that way, I see myself drifting towards an defensive, elitist mindset in which people’s squalid little lives are their own faults, and I’m not part of “them.” That would close my eyes to so much of the beauty and potential that lies around.

Of course, seeing a pattern in disjunct (but for me) meets implies my challenges are either endemic (maybe, but not quite)…or in me (yeah, well. sigh.) I’m afraid that as a typical American, I understand two languages well: “degenerate English” and “telling myself what I want to hear.” Maybe not in that order.

Ok, my head is kind of stuck in college right now. There are worse places to be.

Sugary, my past-pot wrote a book. I was thinking about learning something of independent publishing. Information age…print may or may not be deadish, but people with something to say can make themselves heard, if they try.

From my presently not well traveled perspective, Orlando would be a good place for a winter SA meet. They both have enough depth behind the social facade to be functional.

aliceSsays:

DarkHorse yeah. I read to much about sex, and sentence ” all you like to do”, seems telling me only about that.

sweetiesays:

Zack, you need to be selective as far as what background info you are willing to provide to a SB, potential or current. You know everybody wants NO DRAMA. Well, that’s not possible, but minimizing the drama that we have, I believe that’s doable. By drama I mean past relationship stuff that might come up in conversation… it’s hard, but can be achieved.

Now, maybe she would have run anyway, maybe not. The fact is she did, so next time use better screening for the ladies and don’t divulge more than is necessary for the purpose of your arrangement. Many times hearing somebody’s confessions can get overwhelming. It’s good you are aware of overspilling the beans. Put things in perspective and do better next time. And, don’t let your confidence sink, now it’s time to keep your chin up. C’mon, you can do it!

Something similar happened to me with a customer who thought telling me her life story while I was helping her purchase books would automatically make us best friends. All I could think of was: Lady, I don’t have time for your drama! Needless to say she came looking for me at work and asked my coworkers to tell me to call her. Hell no!

SS, may I have a source on this? But you probably oughtn’t (hateful word) completely disclaim actual weaknesses, some of the newbies might believe you and rely on you…

Zacksays:

@Josh: about 60/40 sinister/dexter, but I try. Usually.

It may entertain you to find I blew a great first meet today. Been looking forward to it, tried to go slower than she…but failed, lol. Anyway, up to the point that some of the shifting expectations and time commitments triggered some “reality checks.” That’s mostly when I blew any romance in dissecting sugar. My fault. My drama surfaced, too…divorce and business stuff mostly, but enough scattershot rambling about my and her futures to have probably blown it for just that.

No, I guess this may not be a great place to build my holy grail of a relationship, but it still feels like there’s potential here. I don’t know. At least there’s a chance to learn more about myself, if I can endure that.

So, she got her allowance and vanished after sending me out on an errand. S’ok…the real sugar wouldn’t have started till the next day, and up to the point I blew it, it was a good first meet.

I don’t think she was actually a scammer, but she may have been. Well, there goes my confidence for a while. In any case, in one way or another, I was so wrong, she skipped out.

consolation prize…I didn’t drop thousands on a beautiful flirt. I had a reasonable and pleasant date that went poorly because I loaded the concentrated weight of my life’s drama and power focused on a few hours, pointed straight at a fine young lady. My fault. Poor management of communication, expectation, personality and hope.

I need to relax more, maybe find a girlfriend. :/

DarkHorseSDsays:

Didn’t you write “financial things?”

aliceSsays:

” Why don’t you tell him you’d just like him to do whatever he feels like doing?”
Uhm.. I think that’s a dangerous answer, just in case if I’m not agreed with some of his likes. If I understand it right. Some sexual things for example, are still tabu for me. One day I will discover it. But not sure, if I want to do it in that way.

DarkHorseSDsays:

That’s very nice. Why don’t you tell him you’d just like him to do whatever he feels like doing?

aliceSsays:

I’m having a feeling that you are irritated. And sarcastic. If I offended you in any way, it wasn’t intended. If I didn’t, well, you may just tell me, what makes you feel like that. If I’m having right of course. And if I’m wrong, I must apologize for the upper part, and can only add, that I met a nice man. Not sure where would it leads me to. He ask me about financial things as well. And I’m not comfortable about it. Maybe, you can advise me, how to reply on that. It’s not the first time, I’m getting speechless, when it pop up.

Hi aliceS, what nationalities or states have you eliminated from your dating universe since we last heard from you?

aliceSsays:

Just want to say hi to everyone

SugarySpiceysays:

Sweetie – the real question is, why would a woman who is having great sex with someone who is gentle, giving, and attentive to her sexual needs want to pull the “period” card … oh, she probably wouldn’t.

sweetiesays:

Would you rather she told you before heading out to see her? In that case you would have postponed? Or her on her period is irrelevant and not a deterrent because it doesn’t bother you, though she might not like getting frisky while on the rag. Oral sex is always an option, by the way. There is some degree of coercion in these arrangements, isn’t there? Such as, I’m not paying you to be on your period!
Is the same IRL when one of the partners is not in the mood and the other one guilts her/him about it. But to say she was”pulling the “period””… that is not fair coming from a guy. Is not like we can avoid them. I mean, without resorting to hormone contraceptive, and that’s out of the question for many women.

Please allow me to tell you why…you have so much s**t in you head against men that as soon as man open his mouth you “know” exactly what he is going to say.

I showed the blog earlier with Vixen’s rant. I may do thw same with your rants when I am in the mood.

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Sugary

” The Budget 8 boys are clearly out of their league with all but the most desperate SBs and they know it. They copy/paste the same message to every girl hoping they’ll get a nibble from someone who’s about to be late on rent.”

Oh Sugar ,you are profiling again ! TskTsk .

There is a place for the Budget Notel . When a SD is delivering a good lay on his lunchhour why pay the Ritz for bed rental for 5 minutes ? Haha –just kidding –15 minutes then .

I don’t know what SA quotes as the average net worth /income of SDs on SA ,but I assure you the number is as massively inflated as SBs body sizes and SDs’ heights. Let’s say the average SD makes $100K and spends 90% on taxes and expenses . He has $10K to spend on a sweet SB who needs that $10K . Not Chanel haberdashery but useful to a girl in school working a waitressing job on the side . There is not a lot left over for a $300 Hotel ,dinner,and sundries . Does that couple deserve to be in the Sugar world ? Are they too poor to seek the pleasures that we find in this wonderful space ? I think not . Don’t knock the guy who can’t keep you in the style you would like to become accustomed to–these guys are just not for you .

@ FatBastard

.” If I am paying then they are on the clock and it is all about me! ”

Bingo ! That is not to say that a SD should not treat his girl with love and respect ,but it is at the end of the day a business deal .

My favorite ex SB (she moved) pulled the “period ” card on me after I traveled 2 hours to wine,dine,and spend the night together . She was “not in the mood ” but still expected her allowance . Well ,I was not in the mood to pay it but I did the right thing . But I made it delicately clear that it will never happen again –period or no period –and it didn’t . In fact she asked me to come down again to make up for it which I appreciated .

Don’t confuse a Sugar arrangement with an IRL BF/GF relationship . It isn’t Of course it depends on what the nature of each arrangement is . But one thing is for sure for most of us boys and girls . Boys want sex and girls want their allowance . n’est ce pas ?

SugarySpiceysays:

Oh Softi – I totally fuck with the guys. I’m a writer! Of course I’ve got to respond when I get the pervy messages – I take the SA flirt further than most girls – I think it’s hugely entertaining.

But, my first profile was fucking hot. Designed to be so, a marketing work of beauty, optimized with all the right search terms – and it intentionally attracted perves for creative inspiration. Online dating is a marketing game, it’s not a beauty game, but most people don’t know how to make a profile.

Richardsays:

@FBSD – I can see right through you, brother. I know what a sweet, gentle man (and gentleman) you are underneath that cheap fat bastard disguise. You’re also completely upfront about your expectations and don’t play any games. For every SD there is a perfect SB. Or something like that…lol.

@Sugary – Promises, promises. 😛

SugarySpiceysays:

Fly’r – yes, I do want to sniff the spigot!

Men are just cheating themselves when they’re lazy in bed. For example I have two approaches to the blowjob:

1. The ABC blowjob, (Anniversary, Birthday, Christmas) it’s fast, it’s fine, it technically counts as a blowjob and I don’t have hangups about the finish – thus is what a mediocre lover gets, because he doesn’t trigger my inner whore. It’s a solid B+ performance. This is what I probably give most of the time.

2. The “I love your c*ck Lick & suck”: A guy who really gets me all warm and quivery, who
makes me come, who makes me feel happy and girly is going to get this – but most men can’t make me feel that way. He gets meet him at the door, hair in pig tails, on my knees with a smile, deep, slow, fast, creative, and like that c*ck is the best thing I’ve ever tasted, fat chick style, complete oral penis worship.

Now, which would you rather get fellas? Learn to deliver a decent lay and a woman will blossom for you.

FatBastardSDsays:

@PriceySpicey

My ex SB let me read her messages. I doubt you are significantly better looking than she is and she also has a degree so I have no need to use your pictures or profile (maybe Josh would like to try though).

Most of the messages consisted of winks and simple “hi there” messages along with emails and phone numbers to contact the SD. A few were up front that they expected sex. Nothing in these messages made my ex SB need to go to a psychiatrist. I think the problem is with you.

FLYRsays:

ss “As for the Wonder Woman comment, yep, pretty much. Which is why I piss Softi off so bad, he hates it when he can’t buy a woman with a trip to the Jiffy Lube and bottle of Olive Garden’s finest White Zinfandel.”

A “litmus test”? Which of PriceySpicey’s questions are you talking about?

FLYRsays:

Wow the discussion seems to have degenerated over the past week…………..

@ Josh

” she insisted that she would not meet until we talked numbers.”

Its all business Josh . The girls get all agitated when we focus on sex ,but money is at the root of it all. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth ladies

Further comments that SB should not expect any consideration for her sensual needs………

In a way I like the discussion as it creates a wider opportunity for those who are here for something that’s not all professional or all IRL .

One of the secrets of success in sugar and the world is to differentiate yourself from the competition…….

A number of the younger women I have met here over the years (younger being sub 30) are tired of dating guys whose vision of a feast is 3 In and Out burgers with extra cheese, fries and a sixpack of Miller. Too often their approach to sex follows the same path although the feast is not interrupted by the start of the third quarter.

I agree 100% with Spicey that the first time’s really important but also her pleasure and self respect should be a priority. If not my guess is that you’re better off sticking to the Industrial Debutantes from Backpage.

SugarySpiceysays:

Softi – let’s play a game. I’ll give you some of my pics and write the profile and you can login and read the messages and offers that come in.

The Budget 8 boys are clearly out of their league with all but the most desperate SBs and they know it. They copy/paste the same message to every girl hoping they’ll get a nibble from someone who’s about to be late on rent.

FatBastardSDsays:

There you have it. PriceySpicey has decided who is a SD. You should work for SA screening profiles to filter out the fake SD’s. Have you ever considered that most guys who see your profile consider $100 and a motel 8 a fair price compared to the other SB’s out there ?

@Josh

Finally someone gets it. A lot of SB’s want to be given an allowance and have “fun”. If they want “fun” then they can find a better BF. If I am paying then they are on the clock and it is all about me!

SugarySpiceysays:

Richard – insert my boobies rubbing all over your face in appreciation. 😉 I also find it very telling which of the bloggies gets their feathers ruffled when SBs aren’t instantly enamored of their great success.

I miss my blog. Wish the Pirate hadn’t been such an asshat and forced me to delete it.

And you’re right, I haven’t read a Cosmo in a decade. How man different ways can you write the same 100 sex tips! Oy vey!

Sooooo in the Sugar World & Real Life (because its happening & unfolding in front of your eyes): Listen to…. youtube: Avicii song “Hey Brother”.

Richardsays:

Sugary is almost Wonder Woman in 2014 guise. She’s being discrete and obfuscating certain details of her life to preserve anonymity, but she is quite amazing. And sweet.

She has also exposed her flaws and her mistakes to the world in this blog and her personal blog (unfortunately now defunct). Those of us that have known her long enough to see her struggles with The Pirate can appreciate she is far from perfect and can be very vulnerable.

But she’s not a pushover, and she fiercely defends her sisters (and I doubt she reads Cosmo). It’s very telling to see how certain men react to her in this blog. For me a bit of a litmus test.

sweetiesays:

Josh, alright. But you were hoping they’d drop the pants, weren’t you?

sweetiesays:

Gentle – “When is this money/sex conversation going to be over?

Never . That’s what it is all about . Romance and friendship is an extra if you are lucky enough to get it .”

Exactly, that’s why it should be put to rest.

Fatty – “I remind myself that no SB has ever offered to be with me without an allowance which says something about myself as well :-).”
Right, still we prefer to see the straw in the eyes of others and not the beam in ours. Makes us feel better.

Joshsays:

@sweetie:

Different durations and different amounts, depending upon the hotness factor. 😉

Why ask?

SugarySpiceysays:

Josh, I “assumed” nothing. Earlier in THIS blog you yourself said,

“Also, you should not be in the sugar space to demand sexual stimulation. If you get it, then great. If not, then don’t complain about it. Take the money and fake some moans as you would in a marriage.

And if you still want to get sexually stimulated then find some marathon performer and get laid as needed. With the “class” you expect us to believe you have, there should not be much problem for you to find some action.

How would one read that other than as a clear statement the YOU have said SBs should not expect to enjoy sex with their SDs and SDs have no obligation to ensure their SB partners sexual satisfaction?

As for the linoleum comment: every woman knows that to be true. Guess you’ve just never laid the linoleum right enough in order to learn that.

SB logic regarding what it would take for me to have sex with someone I was interested in? No, that’s human logic. Every single person has a price. You’d motorboat Softi for some amount (I’m guessing it would cost more than the amount you think SBs should be happy to expect).

As for the Wonder Woman comment, yep, pretty much. Which is why I piss Softi off so bad, he hates it when he can’t buy a woman with a trip to the Jiffy Lube and bottle of Olive Garden’s finest White Zinfandel.

“Josh, you have an entertaining way of presenting arguments, if unpolished. Stick around, you’ll get ground down and polished up at the rate you’re going, in about half a year.”

I am trying to figure out if that was a left-handed or an even-handed compliment. 😉

SugarySpiceysays:

FB – I’ve never said I make more than most SDs. I’ve said that I’m not interested in the so-called SDs who log into this site and create a profile full of lies thinking we won’t notice the truth. Like the 35 year-old SD from Canada who prowls the site, changing his location, saying he’s a brilliant “designer” worth $50 million because he sold the a logo to TIME Magazine (which 4 seconds on Google revealed was created in 1929), says he has an “amazing penthouse” (which 30 seconds and a reverse phone lookup showed was a third floor condo.)

Or, there’s the “Cooler King” SD who is always online and sending”Hey, can I see your private pics” messages. He makes $50K and is the assistant manager at a Sporting Goods store. He might be a great guy, some girls may really want to date him IRL (though if they did he probably wouldn’t be on SA, since he’s 40 and single). But he is not an SD. He’s potentially a BF for the right girl, maybe even a generous one, but not a BF.

Or, my personal favorite, the SDs who would read my profile, can tell that I’m educated and accomplished, attractive enough to have a lot of options, and think that somehow $100 for a bareback bang at the Budget 8 is going to get me all heated up. (Yes, those guys exist! By the masses).

Sounds good to me…I am one number kinda guy but vague negotiations may work with some of these young ladies…I will report when I apply this approach in the future. 😉

Zacksays:

It is nice that this conversation did not degenerate quite to PfP vs. Allowance. Good opinions.

Spicey might be exceptional, but she’s not indestructible. It highlights her personal strength…and flaws. She needs her mindset sometimes to keep her confidence; that can put “attitude” in her advice not always beneficial, imo. Sugar, as repped on the blog, even your down time seems overloaded. Are you going to settle down someday? Do you want to?

Josh, you have an entertaining way of presenting arguments, if unpolished. Stick around, you’ll get ground down and polished up at the rate you’re going, in about half a year.

@ DH: Yeah, reading your posts is fun, too 😀

hi, Mike…there’s a lot of churn here. Speak up or be passed by…or come back another time?

@ Sweetie –sorry ,wrong quote !

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Lady Di

” @gentleman..and why are you here? searching for romance? ”

and sex

@ Josh

” she insisted that she would not meet until we talked numbers.”

Its all business Josh . The girls get all agitated when we focus on sex ,but money is at the root of it all. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth ladies

@Kindred

Sad to me to read about $ = amount of sex breakdowns on the blog. It is what it is KS

@Sugary

I’ve never had sex with someone (in the sugar relm) I didn’t genuinely want to have sex with, I might but it would be for a price so high FB would try to sell me Footlocker stock in a hostile rack over attempt.

LOL Now THAT is SB logic for you ! So you would never have sex with him unless he paid you enough . Theres a joke about that ,

When is this money/sex conversation going to be over?

Never . That’s what it is all about . Romance and friendship is an extra if you are lucky enough to get it .

@Sweetie

I might but it would be for a price so high FB would try to sell me Footlocker stock in a hostile rack over attempt.

Joshsays:

@SugarySpicey

“Josh – maybe they disappear and try to see you as little as possible because you think they have no right to sexual satisfaction in an arrangement, and you don’t want to talk to them between your meet ups. Just a hunch, but they might not like that.”

I think that I have mentioned more than one time that I like 1) flirty girls, 2) to play with their beautiful bodies. Note I have been recently advised that have a “vagina fetish” in that I like to play with vagina a lot during foreplay 3) to only have intercourse when the girl is naturally wet.

Flirtiness is for me to observe. Whether they have the body I want to play with is for me to assess. #3 I usually and explicitly communicate to them.

In this specific case I did not have the opportunity to observe her flirtiness. I had some idea about her body because she sent nude pictures without asking, which raised the escort alert from my side to start off with.

We did not go into details of foreplay, sex, etc., yet because it was all happening through email.

So there, you ass-u-me too much. 😉

“Typically, women are like linoleum. Lay us right the first time, you can walk all over us for life.”

Don’t tell me that you read it on Cosmo and thought it was a cool quote, or maybe it was on a quote collection website…

Not only it is not true, it is disrespectful whether it is used for one gender or the other. You need to be careful as to what you say about women. You may lose your membership in the Galactic Order of the Feminist Sisterhood. Or was it Galactic Sisterhood of the Feminist Order?

LOL!

You’re

@Zack lmao glad your in a happy mood.. Lol

FatBastardSDsays:

@sweetie

PriceySpicey makes more than a typical SD, is smarter than a typical SD, looks like a 20 year old model and can get any man she likes. in her case men have nothing to offer her whatsoever.

From my experience most SB’s I have met think that the SD’s on the site have nothing to offer but money. I always laugh at the SB stories of the weird SD’s on the site and yet I remind myself that no SB has ever offered to be with me without an allowance which says something about myself as well :-).

FatBastardSDsays:

@MSugar

Would you be happy if your BF texted you every 10 minutes every day? Would you text your BF every 10 minutes every day?

Teenage girls and women who imagine they look 15 years younger text each other 100 times a day. Do you want a SD who acts like a teenage girl texting you? Would you want a higher allowance from a time sucking vampire (thanks JerseyDarling)?

Sweetie – men get angry when girls change the rules about access to the kitten. They need a clear Virgin/Whore dichotomy or they get confused.

Hence the ugly assertion this morning that only a man is allowed to have sex, morals, and values.

Zacksays:

Josh, “I need to know you’re real before I talk ‘x'” works.

Offering half one’s budget as allowance and leaving half for budget, travel, and other expenses that’ll possibly level off later can help, it keeps the amount you can feel taken for within a recoverable range, and provides some flexibility so that not every agreement needs to be an aural contract. lol

Yeah, people take advantage, but not all the time. One can work with that.

Start somewhere, and remember that each person has a whole world inside them, (maybe, I’m still looking,,,)

sweetiesays:

Horsey “KS, do you believe, unlike many other women who shall remain unnamed, that women have something to offer other than sex?”

Isn’t the sex y’all SDs are after? If sex weren’t the ultimate goal, you wouldn’t be here. Don’t tell me you’d be sugaring some girl just because she’s so pretty and she bats her eyes at you so lovingly. Yeah, other stuff might be important to you, but if she does’t put out, I bet you’re moving on to the next one.

About how much per session and minimum being less than a prostitute, really? Does that make you feel good about yourself? After all, aren’t you on SA looking for a SB who would sleep with you for the amount you offer?
When is this money/sex conversation going to be over? It’s sex, some get money for it, some don’t. Why judge? Don’t get involved if it’s not up your alley. Devoid of social context, we’re just animals getting it on. But since we’re so smart and righteous, we make a big deal out of it when sex is really only a biological need.

SugarySpiceysays:

Josh – maybe they disappear and try to see you as little as possible because you think they have no right to sexual satisfaction in an arrangement, and you don’t want to talk to them between your meet ups. Just a hunch, but they might not like that.

Typically, women are like linoleum. Lay us right the first time, you can walk all over us for life.

See, Josh, your problem is you don’t have a girlfriend you can pimp out to bring you home cash for you to take your place in the food chain of sugar.

DarkHorseSDsays:

By the way, these women are not experiencing actual crises. It is just a hook to name a price for the night. I need $750 for a deposit on an apartment because I just had to move out on my asshole boyfriend. The $750 is going to the boyfriend when she gets back home so he can go pick up his own SB at the Piggly Wiggly.

DarkHorseSDsays:

KS, do you believe, unlike many other women who shall remain unnamed, that women have something to offer other than sex?

SugarySpiceysays:

I’m not bagging on $1,000 a month. For a lot of women that would be a HUGE life changer. I do think it’s gross that he thinks he gets to be rude to her (telling her to find another SD and not text him, ignoring her midweek) and think she’s going to want to have sex with him more than once a week at that rate.

Hopefully to make his gross offer even she gets her period every other week, for ten days at a time.

SugarySpiceysays:

I have never once had a $ = amount of sex conversation, never would. I’ve never had sex with someone (in the sugar relm) I didn’t genuinely want to have sex with, I might but it would be for a price so high FB would try to sell me Footlocker stock in a hostile rack over attempt.

I also wouldn’t have any lengthy conversation with anybody who thought it was reasonable to ask a girl for sex three times a week and offer a set amount that is sooo unsexy. At 1/3 of “hooker” rate she’s smarter to take the arrangement for nothing and see where things go organically, without sugar.

I’ve also never once ASKED for a single thing from an SD, and certainly would never go to him to help with some “emergency” because I am an adult. Perhaps when I was 22 … well no, even then I’d be mortified. Get some class ladies!

Joshsays:

$ = amount of sex talk is “almost” always initiated by women. 😉

Kindred Spiritsays:

Sad to me to read about $ = amount of sex breakdowns on the blog. I realize it’s interesting conversation for some, I suppose, but when I see that kind of talk my eyes glaze over and I retreat to my hidey hole (personal sanctuary mentality of how I believe in the sugar world).

In the end, if both parties are delighted with the outcome as well as the anticipation, a beautiful arrangement is present….

Kindred Spiritsays:

Oops, I put in the wrong email part after @. No wonder my gravatar wasn’t showing earlier and my message got monitored! Accidentally mistype email to go with post, system thinks it’s a new person so message automatically gets the flag.

Yes, SDGuru, that’s totally fine if Sweetie wants to write to me. Just please give her this email and not the one from my previous post. Thanks!

I like to say hello sugaryspicey and sweetie! How are you fine ladies doing these days. Hope things are well for you. Have a wonderful evening!

Joshsays:

@DarkHorseSD

“$250 a week for sex 3X a week, you’re getting 83$ a visit”*

There is no f**king way that an SB is keeping her 3X a week deal beyond the first 1st or 2nd week or until she gets her period. It would come down to 1-2 times a week and then 1 time a week, if that.

What will remain constant is $250/week whether she does anything or not and whether she has period or not. AND there will be other demands throughout the month, which will bring the allowance up to whatever.

That said, $250/week is the low end of the “practical” range, and I bet that a great majority of “local” arrangements are in the $300-$800/week or $300-$500 P4P range.

“My wife gets $500000 /year and has a closet full of Chanel and Jimmy Choos and there is not a whole lot of romance going on . This $1000 SB should marry the guy,stop having sex and get a raise.”

Now this is profound indeed. 😉

LadyDisays:

@gentleman..and why are you here? searching for romance?

gentle(man)soulsays:

@ Spicey

$250 a week for sex 3X a week, you’re getting 83$ a visit, that does feel kinda gross of a guy to propose.

The SB is getting $1000/month for —um–not a whole lot of effort . And she might actually like the guy and enjoy their time together. And maybe he is a good stud and makes her feel special . So it’s a win /win -right ?

My wife gets $500000 /year and has a closet full of Chanel and Jimmy Choos and there is not a whole lot of romance going on . This $1000 SB should marry the guy ,stop having sex and get a raise .

As has been stated here over and over the last few days, most prostitutes don’t accept text messages and therefore should get far more than a SB.

SugarySpiceysays:

I can easily text w/someone I 10-100 times in a day. It becomes like a conversation. I think I had 100 texts in a day with Richard on occassion and there’s no arrangement there.

$250 a week for sex 3X a week, you’re getting 83$ a visit, that does feel kinda gross of a guy to propose.

But, if you like him, genuinely want to have sex with him, he is genuinely GREAT in bed, and that makes your life easier then go for it. You just shouldn’t feel compelled to be exclusive, shave your legs, or behave in any way different than you would as a GF – he’s not giving enough sugar to have “sugar daddy” expectations.

Does anyone ever meet up with other SB’s from off this blog? So that you discuss different, similar or crazy experiences together in person? Or even how to deal with a situation?

FatBastardSDsays:

@gtt_envy

You give more than $250 but your poor SB has text 100 times per day with you. You are providing the SA equivalent of “danger pay”. I think most SB’s would rather have someone normal and get the $250 than put up with a SD like yourself.

Carrie, I think for SDs the profile date updates when they make changes to their profile or when it renews after a period of it not being active. I might be wrong… guys?

flyRsays:

profile CREATED date

the date is updated if any change is made , even changing a . to a ,

note – the default search order is by creation date rather than last date online so it helps to make occasional changes to get to the front of the line.

Also if someone hides their signon date the system knows. If you ask for search results sorted by last signin those with suppressed will in in order so you know when they were on. I find that last signon is a better way to search for someone who is active. Of course if you are only interested in the most recent profiles then newest profile works.

@gtt_envy:

Hmm, some people have talked about POF without money exchange. Where did you see $250/wk mentioned on this page before you brought it up? 😉

Carriesays:

Thanks to everyone who give advice about my last question.

However, I just noticed something kind of odd. The potential man that I am speaking profile originally displayed that it was created Nov. 2013, however today it shows that it was created Feb. 20. This is very weird to me. Since we started communicating days before then, and he is now listed as one of the most current men to view my profile. How does that happen?

@LadyDi – I’m sure others can trump this by a lot, but I’ve given several pairs of Louboutin and Zanotti shoes as gifts. And one bracelet that was almost as expensive. You can do the math. ^ ^

gtt_envysays:

Wow, active blog I just find it funny here we are debating the merits of measly $250/wk for 1-3 meets…………..THAT IS CHEAPER THAN ALMOST ANY PROSTITUTE!!

I gave double that as a Valentines day gift if you count the gifts and their worth. I’m a low man on the totem poll SD makes me wonder the SD validity of those debating that $250 is good…………gimme a break!!

oh.. i’m wondering, what is the most exspensive gift, that u SD bought to your SB?=)

sweetiesays:

Lady, it’s meet and greet.

sweetiesays:

Explain to him that it was a misunderstanding and that you’re having trouble with the subtleties of the language. This language issue will probably happen again (even native English speakers misunderstand each other), make sure he’s aware of that and hopefully he’ll word his thoughts to your understanding. Also, next time you are confused about what something means, ask him for clarification.

LadyDisays:

amm what is M&G?

Richardsays:

I’m completely confused. My suggestion: only have sex with someone you are attracted to and feel you will enjoy being intimate with. If you’d rather not have sex with someone, and are only doing it because he gives you gifts or money (hourly, weekly or monthly) then you are a prostitute.*

Nothing wrong with prostitution, and I think it should be legal, but I don’t consider that a real “sugar” relationship.

Personally, nothing would turn me off faster than having sex with someone who wasn’t really into it.

*Caveat: some women get sexually excited by being wooed with gifts (clothes, shoes, money) and enjoy the feeling of being so desirable a man is willing to pay to sleep with them. If they are still being selective about who they choose, it isn’t prostitution.

But who cares what you call it? All just my opinion!

Sugardollsays:

@dark

Ok..lets do this, as i said before english is not my primary language and i dont know how to read in between the lines, its like “i know what u say, but dont understand shit of what u mean to say lol ” so, sometimes i dont know if you being real or sarcastic lol…

so this is how i think… In my personal life…I dont do hook up..cuz for me thats just plain sex and nothing more. (lets get together to fk and if i see u next day i dont remember) thats what hook up for me actually is.

But he was interested in going out, doing things together, traveling, knowing each other aswell. it was not a thing of 1-2 hrs..all our 3 dates were for more than 5 hrs. kissing, holding hands, doing things we both liked. there was nothing i wanted to do or a place i wanted to go that he disagree.

@Josh – Morals and all go both ways. If you feel that strongly about a SB having sex with you while money is being exchanged, but go along with it, then you are not “holier” than her.

DarkHorseSDsays:

Ok, S.doll, let’s pivot. Leave out that whole part about other people turning you into a horrible shrew and focus only on your awakening to your faults, how he made you realize what true hook ups really mean, and how he’s the only hook up for you. (The latter being a level 3 lie, but no one is perfect, even my waitress.)

Come to think of it, shouldn’t I be dumping the waitress for not being perfect?

DarkHorseSDsays:

The point is that strong morals are not necessarily separate and exclusive to value(s).

Zacksays:

@ Josh…your morals and values are inculcated, not considered, I think.

@ Sugardoll, if you wish, one option could be to segue (move) from your sincere apology to an explanation of what you are hoping to offer in a relationship…long term, regular meets…etc…that is your sales pitch for an allowance from him.

But be sincere in your apology, you did go in uncertain, and it shows.

Sugardollsays:

@Dark…thats the thing, i started reading the blog after i did all that …if i have reached for your advice since the first time, i would of known what to do.

*3rd day hookup/stalker…lol…(cant complain he was very affectionate all the time)

Josh – I would like to explain you my point of view of what strong morals and values is for me, but it would b to extensive – (I have straight and strong believes about how certain things should be) does that sound better to you?…lol

Joshsays:

@DarkHorseSD:

“It is “negotiable””

Ah, I got it.

The lady’s legs get spread for the right price, I pay her, she takes the money to the “strong moral and values” surgeon and s/he makes her “strong moral and values” virgin again?

Or maybe, the lady’s the legs get spread for the right price. I make a donation to the “strong moral and values” church through the lady, the church blesses the act, and everyone is happy while “strong moral and values” stay intact?

Gotta punctuate it by LOL!

DarkHorseSDsays:

” I am totally confused about this term “strong moral and values.”

It is “negotiable”

DarkHorseSDsays:

SuSp: I don’t know this Mimi of which you speak. I haven’t been to Applebee’s in three years and didn’t even know they had 2 for 20’s but now I’m miffed I could have saved $175 on the pa meal. It’s also a good indication that’s not where I got sick.

Anyway, I also don’t know how you got confused into thinking I confused you with SSB.

DarkHorseSDsays:

“somehow the word HOOK UP just blow out my mind and made me think he was being disrespectful and he was calling me a whore”

I read the blog telling you he was calling you a whore.

“he was being honest with his words and actions ) but by the time i realized that…”

The moment you realized he wasn’t the dirt bag the blog told you he is.

“it was late,i have already texted him doubting of every good thing he did”

Which the blog told you is what you do with dirt bags.

Now go apologize*. Include that you stupidly followed other people’s advice and you now fully realize that was a complete mistake by you as well. Tell him what you are about (ie. what you came to SA for before SA turned you into the 3-day text/hook-up stalker you briefly became łoł)

* An apology is a complete bearing of your guilt and responsibility, not some excuse nuanced message.

Joshsays:

@Sugardoll:

@Dark…”Im one of those girls with strong moral and values”

Can you please elaborate on that Sugardoll? I am totally confused about this term “strong moral and values.”

EVERY SINGLE GIRL I have met who talked about “strong moral and values” has NOT have any issue collecting free money from me above and beyond the date expenses.

I am one of those unfortunate (scared of legal ramifications) guys who believes in NO MEANS NO.

I would like to read the “strong moral and values” textbook (or at least the Cosmo article ) so that I am not confused in the future as to the totally arbitrary moment when spreading legs for the guy becomes within the realm of strong moral and values.

SugarySpiceysays:

Darky – it’s Sourhern who gives the serves the wheelchair kinkster, not me – though I can see why you’d be confused. If charge $500 and have no trouble talking about killing small animals.

Regarding the blackmailer, his threats were that if I didn’t meet him in a hotel room that night he would expose me. I think that’s blackmail (masochistic blackmail perhaps). He was requiring payment in order not to expose me. The payment he wanted was my gold-lined kitten. I do believe he took me to a Mimi’s for the M&G, I should have known he was up to no good.

Sugardollsays:

Dark…

Thanks for your recommendations, i know my post have been kind of confusing, cuz i was actually talking about my first experience and my second experience all at once, i give u a clear desc. of what was going on.

Im one of those girls with strong moral and values and the fact of being paid for sex its quite of awkward to me, at some point i have a good idea of what fwb is, but for an instant i forgot fwb is actually ” a friendship where we HOOK UP once in a while” and somehow the word HOOK UP just blow out my mind and made me think he was being disrespectful and he was calling me a whore…which i regret after thinking better what fwb really was and realized what i sign into SA for. (I admit he was honest and he knew i wasnt a whore by the fact that u wont take a girl to the inside of your house and make everything possible to show me he was being honest with his words and actions ) but by the time i realized that…it was late,i have already texted him doubting of every good thing he did. So thats why i was concern if i should send him an apologize for my behavior.

SSB says “I really want to get rid of the guy, but I don’t know how to do it. For my trouble he “treats” me a hundred dollar bill every time he comes to see me, but it really isn’t worth it …”

What is the make, model and sticker price of the wheelchair?

DarkHorseSDsays:

Last night, when I did sleep, I had a lengthy and detailed dream that I was going to be arrested in a few hours for having used SA. The dream had elements of The Scarlett Letter, Mad Max and The Grapes of Wrath.

I’m certain, had I not awoken just prior to the final act, the opening scene from The Jerk would have represented.

SuSp, if I were an ATM, I would say your fellow was guilty of attempted masochism, not blackmail. 😛

gentle(man)soulsays:

@ Josh

What constitutes “blackmail”?

” Has this been a problem any/many SD have had to deal with? ”

YES -several times . It is a hazard of the trade . Almost every married SD has been discovered if they do it long enough .

RE : Single vs married SDs

Risky on either side although more so as a married SD for obvious reasons . Here’s a scenario for you . You are a 55 yr old Doctor/lawyer/Indian Chief in your town and are squiring a 22 yr old beauty around . While you are free to do whatever your heart desires ,the more conservative denizens are going to gossip about the Chief going off the reservation . Jealousies and intolerance will run rampant , and I assure you some kickback will occur . Who cares ? Maybe nobody if you are rich,powerful,and independent enough but if you rely on public opinion and respect there could be business repercussions .

Girls ? How many of you in Sugar relationships are comfortable being obviously romantic in public with a guy old enough to be your father or even grandfather ? Behind closed doors is one thing ,but publicly –? another .

PDA (public display of affection ) some people are shy about anyway ,even in your age appropriate group.

DarkHorseSDsays:

S.doll: those are the perks of following what passes for defacto official blog advice.

To be frank, last night, in between bouts of food poisoning I did not get by going to Applebee’s, I read your comments over again. I must say, over and above your English skills which I have no qualms with, I found actual inconsistencies and other oddities like compete confidence you knew something and later it turned not so.

At this point I’m all confused and wouldn’t know what to tell you, especially with the newest set of facts to deal with.

However, I will say that good manners and sincere apologies can salvage many situations.

SugarySpiceysays:

I met with someone, we had a nice M&G, texted a lot for a week, shared photos, fooled around a little until he did something gross, and I decided I didn’t want to go further or see him anymore.

He was disappointed and tried to blackmail me, threatened to post my name and photos all over the Internet to tell the world what a whore I was and how disappointed he was in SA. At the time SA didn’t have a tool to “report this member” and nobody replied to my email. I wonder how many other girls he threatened, and how many it worked on.

I seems that a big number of SDs here are married.

What constitutes “blackmail”?

Has this been a problem any/many SD have had to deal with?

Comments please…

gentle(man)soulsays:

@NC Gent

” you think a potential SB is going to make a video of you ” ?

You never know who is on the receiving end of the video do you ? I use fake pics on my profile which were selected for me by a female friend in the “biz” Not one of my SBs has ever questioned them after meeting me ,but they are different enough from my appearance not to be recognized by women in my city who know me . Also ,I am a public figure of sorts and we all know what happened to Anthony Weiner . If you don’t worry about it perhaps you should rethink it .

NC Gentsays:

So Gentle(man)Soul — you think a potential SB is going to make a video of you in a g-rated chat and distribute around the internet? I am sure that would go viral! There are tons of ways to blackmail someone, and I don’t think Skype is the method that comes to peoples minds… just curious.

Girls willing to see married men must understand the privacy needed . If they don’t get it then they should stick with single SDs .

@ Josh re: Male Chauvinist Pig?

Good list -amusing !

NC Gentsays:

I don’t readily suggest Skype, but if someone is asking me for a lot of photos or unwilling to provide more than one grainy photo with no body shot, I suggest Skype, knowing that in all likelihood, they will run for the hills. Having said that, Skype seems a lot safer to me than meeting someone in person, no?

Sugardollsays:

Good morning everyone

I kind of messed up my first POT SD, i was new , have never read the blog, and some of us are not use to arrangement on regular dating, i felt very good with him and had such a great times, but he texted me something and i forgot what the site is for and through the trash out of him…is there a way i can get him back, we havent talk since then, i think i was kind of rude. Should i send him an apology?? I really would like to keep dating him lol

LadyDisays:

@sweetie:NC@LadyDi — “had to laugh at your Skype comment. I have been finding the same thing with some SBs when I suggest skype.”

I don’t think I’m comfortable with skyping with a stranger. Rather meet in person over coffee/drink.

Are u kidding me ? On skype you can see if anyone is real or not, how do they look etc,..some have more than several years old pictures on the profile. I want to know, how do they look before i meet with them IRL. Some people look completely different on the pics and i do not want any bad suprises.

@Alice
I don’t tend to mention allowance in my first message – it’s something that we discuss a little further down the line.

@Alice
Like FLYR said, you should find things in the SD’s profile that link to things that you like/have an opinion on. So, if the profile says that the SD likes horse riding for example, and you’ve just started riding lessons, mention it in your message. It also shows the SD that you’ve actually read his profile.

aliceSsays:

Thanks to all for your response and
@MissBabyJ you can send me some examples I never send nothing about allowance or anything, that includes finances. Last conversation with really handsome guy ended up weird. Beyond uncomfortable, none of us, had any clue, what are we talking about. In his profile, there is an information that he is funny and some other things indicated that he understands the jokes. Well I know now that my sarcastic jokes are overrated, or his sense of humor are to sensitive. So, shit happens. We still try to communicate but damn, it’s like scratching the brick with the nails. Reply that contain “Ha,….. ….” drives me crazy

The waitress is awesome.

The hostess never got back to me. Big deal.

The SB from ancient history and the waitress better be bi curious for my sake.

MissBsays:

@LadyDi,

Skimming through and noticing you are new, paired with noticing a certain someone trying to hit on you… Please be careful. Talk, negotiate, look into who they are a little further before delving too far in, too quickly. No matter what web is weaved to try and reassure you.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Joshsays:

Male Chauvinist Pig?

Especially note #6
—
To borrow from Bill Maher, these are my “New Rules” as to what it is I’m not looking for:

1) If your single profile photo is a close-up photo of just your boob; or if your profile photos are a collection of close-ups of your appendages; and lastly, along those lines, if you mastered the art of creative cropping, leaving me no idea as to what you look like … not interested. I realize some people need to maintain their anonymity, however this can still be done without presenting just a collection of body part photos.

2) If your only profile photo looks like it was snapped by a peeping Tom with his cell phone from three miles away and enlarging it only results in a pixelated blob… not interested.

3) If your only profile photo is of you with a pack of other women and I end up finding Waldo in the picture before I get to identifying you… not interested.

4) If you claim to be a “sugar baby”, but you are going through menopause… not interested.

5) If you live in a country where if I visited you, it might result in me becoming a political prisoner or kidnapped… not interested.

6) If you are unaware that the median household income in the United States is only $45,000/year, then… not interested. I’ve gathered that most younger women on here have a serious case of affluenza. Remember, the top 1% of all American households (notice I said households, not single men) brings home an income of greater that $394K.

7) If all of your photos are Photoshopped, professional retouched photos… not interested. Why are you trying so hard?

8) If Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian are your idols… not interested.

9) If you work in an environment where the phrase “making it rain” has nothing to do with a meteorological phenomena, then… not interested.

10) If you describe yourself as “athletic” or “slim”, but I’ve vaguely recalled seeing you in an eating competition on ESPN2 at 2 AM on Sunday… not interested.

Sweetie~”I don’t think I’m comfortable with skyping with a stranger. Rather meet in person over coffee/drink.”

I’m with you on this! ! Harder to be myself, harder to (lightly) flirt,…Skype feels less real somehow. Instead I just feel awkward and “put on the spot”.

Are there any UK SBs in the house?
@Alice – even as an SB I always ignore winks, unless they come with a fabulous profile. Write to any SD you’re interested in to start the conversation flowing. Good luck.

Sugardollsays:

Alice : Im new too, but i think im good at sending msgs… cuz i usually get a respond, most of SD dont answer and winks unless they really find you interesting.. I think, but i get more responses when i send a msg… I tell them something i like from his profile or i make some nice comment of his picture.

Alice, yes, you should. Don’t wink, take the time to write him a nice message, since you found his profile appealing. Women can initiate conversation, no rules against it there.

FLYRsays:

@sugardoll “So, u telling me to find someone who wants the same things i want? is that i?” not the same but things of value i.e.

The foundation of a successful business/personal relationship is that each values what they receive more than what they get. They don’t have to be the same thing.

example

SB wants (she may not initially think much beyond the allowance and safety)
someone who treats her well
respect for her privacy
exposes her to different things
believes in ladies first
Opens the car door sends roses on valentine day
Not to worry about the allowance

SD wants
someone he is comfortable with, he would die of embarrassment in a Pretty
Woman scenario with her in her hooker outfit
Appreciates being with him beyond just the money
great and confidence building sex
Sends an occasional thanks

As a free service to you, if it is not disallowed by the blog rules, you may post important elements of his profile here. One or more of us may be able to help guide you more specifically.

Either way best if success in the sugarville.

FLYRsays:

Alice – Write or Wink easiest question of the day

WRITE – tie your strengths to his profile make it personal but not overwhelming .

Good – I really liked your profile, especially that you are looking for someone with intelligence and who likes wine. I find an intelligent man very appealing. Loved the picture of you sailing, i have not done it but would like to learn.

I never end my arrangements on a bad note (except once I admit) and give SBs the opportunity to hit me up when going gets tough on their end and they want to come back to daddy.

sweetiesays:

Horsey – “Negotiable means I won’t give you a clue as to what I want. I expect you to just know.”
Yes, that’s true as well as all the other stuff we expect men to just know. Tough one. Sorry the waitress didn’t work out. You seem really bummed about it. You’ll find a good one, soon.

NC@LadyDi — “had to laugh at your Skype comment. I have been finding the same thing with some SBs when I suggest skype.”

I don’t think I’m comfortable with skyping with a stranger. Rather meet in person over coffee/drink.

Sugardoll – “So like for real….FWB ?? whats wrong w this guys just trying to hook up for a couple of dollars..?”
Obviously that is not what you want, so tell him that.

@Sugardoll:

“I need someone pretty experienced to private msg for an advice…”

That would be one and only SD Guru, if he can spare some time for you. 😉

Sugardollsays:

Fly…

Let me see if i got you, cuz english is not my primary language and sometimes its hard for me to understand ….

I would like to find someone who i feel attracted to, who treats me like a lady, although who help me out to get my life goals done, And that we can get to know each other (i dont care about his marital status as long as i feel fine with his company)

So, u telling me to find someone who wants the same things i want? is that i?

Yeah i better do that…cuz i think i mess up my first date… which i really liked him a lot… lol…but well .. shit happen

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Sugardoll

” do i politely back up if i dont like him after we hook up”

Yes –or impolitely if he is a jerk . Nobody is stuck in a relationship in Sugarville . You have to kick a few tyres before you get a good one unless you are lucky .

In fact, when I meet someone new I always say that we should date for awhile and see how we like each other . Just don’t reveal too much of yourself or become emotionally involved until you see that you want to keep seeing each other . A lot of men are looking for variety and will bounce around with as many girls as they can get away with . We are limited by time and money .

Sugardolcesays:

@fatbastard..

why do i sound like trouble?

And no, not my friends..my date offered me 200*300 per meet…

About my circle of friends….. I dont have a fit body, but i do look good and yes i do have friends that would pay to hook up w me if by any chance i was interested, is not something that i do, it was just me saying.

FatBastardSDsays:

“So like for real….FWB ?? whats wrong w this guys just trying to hook up for a couple of dollars..?

Honestly i can get that from my friends if i wanted to hook up….LOL LOL”

You expect $200 to meet and your friends have offered you a couple of hundred dollars to hook up. If your SD is reading this then my advise to him is to stay the fuck away from you. You sound like nothing but trouble.

Try a short term arrangement to see if you like him –or any other Pot . Trial runs aren’t a bad thing if you are attracted to each other . Just screen him for craziness .

Sugardollsays:

@JOSH
If I were to look between the legs…err…LOL…read between the lines…she is thinking that since I have the “potential” to do it X times a day/week/month, and my vagina is lined with silver (the ones with gold demand high+ allowance) I am worth it.

I DIE W THIS ONE!! lol

@gentleman

I just dont know if i should wait for a pot with a better proposal, if i should take this one, or if the arrangement is worth it. Actually no,my main reason is not sex, unless i feel attracted to him.

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Sugardoll

” $200.00 its a set amount for dates? ”

No Maam .. There is no set amount for anything. In fact ,I would not expect any payment or “gift” at a M&G. This is only the first date to get to know each other .

—” a FWB arrangement ”

Actually ,it might be a matter of semantics Sugar. An arrangement is basically a SD paying for the pleasure of your company on a predetermined schedule . What you do on the dates is up to the two of you . It might involve only a hook up , or more extensive including travel, socializing ,etc . If you hook up with a friend there will most likely be no money involved. You need to make it clear to the Pot SD what your idea of a Sugar relationship is–and it seems that sex is not your motivating factor .

Sugardollsays:

@guru

So ok i have a few questions… $200.00 its a set amount for dates? cuz im new and when they talk this is the first amount that comes out.

Now i met my second date from the site, while having lunch he gave 100.00 that was suppose to be a “gift” and he went straight to business lol… he wants to see me 1-2days a week – and hes gna give me $200 – 300.00 for a FWB arrangement …I told him i will think about it and text him a reply.

So like for real….FWB ?? whats wrong w this guys just trying to hook up for a couple of dollars..?

Honestly i can get that from my friends if i wanted to hook up….LOL LOL

Here is what happens. People from long ago keep contacting me having lived the experience. One just got herself a plane ticket for next week. New SDs don’t have that yet.

The problem in the market is you can’t research SD/SB transactions. You can only do lots of them yourself.

What do I do with the waitress now lol

Joshsays:

It does not matter what the economic logic of the allowances is. Following is the hot of the press verbatim communication between me and a fairly young SB.

February, 2014 16:04pm
I am interested in getting to know you. Please reply if you are interested.

February, 2014 16:36pm
I just saw that you want “substantial” ($5,000-10,000 monthly) allowance. Why is that sweetheart? LOL!

February, 2014 07:53am
lol. because I’m young and have the most energy. plus, I’m the best (especially since I’m younger)

If I were to look between the legs…err…LOL…read between the lines…she is thinking that since I have the “potential” to do it X times a day/week/month, and my vagina is lined with silver (the ones with gold demand high+ allowance) I am worth it.

This is the only line I didn’t like. No one wants to be upset. I totally get what you are saying, I would just reword it… “… you will miss my sweet voice when we are apart, …”

@ NC Gent — OMG! I have to remember that one! I will use it without mercy and give no credit whatsoever. 😉

@Carrie

Generally speaking, it is not recommended for newbie SB’s to travel for the first meet, unless you’re located off the beaten path and it’s difficult for pot SD’s to go meet you. If you must travel, then please take a look at “Travel Guidelines for SB’s” in the Sugar Dating Tips section on the right. Also, take a look at “The 5 Stages of Sugar“. You’re at the very early stage of the process and there is no need to put all your eggs in one basket.

@DarkHorseSD“My biggest problem is I always offer what I can afford easily, knowing I can do more for a growing arrangement.”

If you find out that you’re not in the same ball park during sugar negotiation for whatever reason, just politely decline and move on. There may not be any logical reason for a SB’s wants/needs/demands, and that’s not your problem anyway. The reality will eventually set in for them.

@SouthernSB“For my trouble he “treats” me a hundred dollar bill every time he comes to see me, but it really isn’t worth it…

d) I imagine that for some married SD’s who do not travel this type of arrangement could be wonderful

f) From a tactical standpoint I would not ask for more than your out of pocket costs plus incidentals.

flyRsays:

The SB takeaway

a- Your financial needs are important, however imagine you stopped in at a modest restaurant . You’re in the mood for a little wine with dinner and you see a nice bottle of Cab on the list with no price. It’s $50 at costco so you figure about $100 in the restaurant. The owner tells you it’s $400 You look surprised and he explains he lost $2,400 (his rent money ) in Vegas, he needs a new car and wants to pay off his student debt thus the wine is $400. He ends with the explanation “I have to get $400 for the wine to meet my needs.”

You look the owner in the eye, slide your ipad onto the table and suggest that he consider if it better to leave the wine on the shelf or sell it to you for $100, while he decides you’ll be looking at other dining options. BTW there are other benefits from providing you with a good dinner and wine.

The moral of the story is that an arrangement has to be good for both. If you demand an unrealistic allowance a few things can happen

acceptance, but likely a one time in the heat of the night arrangement

acceptance but the SD is looking

rejection

If this is confusing imagine you are selling your house. Your deadbeat partner lost his job again and you are way behind on the mortgage. The home is worth $500K, the loan is $600K and you have other debts of $100 K so you demand $700K for a $500K home.

Someone might pay over market because the home is perfect but 40% , not likely .

I think it is much more productive for the SD to indicate a range he is thinking of (leaving a little room at the top) If there is no interest end the discussion with genuine best wishes . If there is potential for an arrangement then explore the added benefits and expectations on the part of both. Hopefully being treated with respect and honestly is high on the SB list. It disqualifies some potential SD’s whose need is to own a sex pet or arm candy.

The wise SB a) qualifies the potential SD by looking at the profile, analysis of the written and voice exchanges. She might even take notes looking for inconsistencies b) go – no go based on match including allowance range c) looking for how she adds value d) creating need e) closing the deal. If you try to close the deal before exploring your special value you are selling yourself short.

SouthernSBsays:

I have a problem. My neighbor keeps coming over and he’s a crusher. He likes feel up my legs while I regal him with stories of how I will run over little furry things with my car. 1. I don’t even own a car, and 2. This man is in a wheelchair because he was in a car crash due to the fact that he swerved his car out of the way to avoid running over a dog. I really want to get rid of the guy, but I don’t know how to do it. For my trouble he “treats” me a hundred dollar bill every time he comes to see me, but it really isn’t worth it due to the fact that I can’t stand the idea of running over small animals, and it’s really taking a bite out of my libido. Help!! I like being a sexy beast!!

Msugar — I always provide some cash reimbursement for a lunch or coffee date, unless the person has grossly misrepresented themselves (i.e. fake pics). I am not going to reward bad behavior.

DarkHorseSDsays:

“She didn’t appreciate the irony ”

Grifters never do. It’s the next move in the grift.

DarkHorseSDsays:

@Negotiable,

What is frustrating is spending 90 minutes next to someone exploring their entire wish list from tuition to auto, expressing modest needs, to then make an opening offer which covers all and then some easily and have it countered so.

The real world dynamic was that we had run out of time and I brought it up just to leave her knowing there is a real offer which I expected she’d accept or nearly accept, so there was little need for negotiation. On her side, I think she has only met one person once (yes a level 3 lie!) and has no clue the reality of what is out their.

What she wants I could pay in cash, but I’d expect substantially more from her side. There are also additional perks I can offer that she might want, but that all becomes a lengthy conversation and exploration. (And no, none of those perks are physically connected to my dick)

So it was an offer for just starting out getting to know you and see where we both want to go in this relationship.

My biggest problem is I always offer what I can afford easily, knowing I can do more for a growing arrangement.

Instead the FIRST RULE in SD negotiation is offer what you have no intention of ever providing and then disappoint as time goes on until she catches on, gets pissed and becomes a lesbian.

I have a dinner date with a POT tonight and I’m hoping he gives me a gift. I’m not going to ask for it and won’t be mad if he doesn’t give me anything though.

NC Gentsays:

@Carrie — some have traveled to an SD’s locale for the first visit, but make sure he pays for all of your travel expenses, and books a PRIVATE room for you. Have a good backup plan in case it goes poorly. Also, you need to get some verifiable personal info on him. I think you should continue to talk to other SDs because sugar relationships can be very flaky, and who knows, he may turn out to be fake.

@LadyDi — had to laugh at your Skype comment. I have been finding the same thing with some SBs when I suggest skype.

Ok — so I just jumped back into SA more than half-heartedly the past month or so. I have had several cancellations at the last minute – way more than in the past — not sure what is up with that. I have also had a lot of “need money for the lunch date” request even when it was a short drive. A few days ago I hit my boiling point when a pot SB said she needed me to give her $200 in the parking lot of the restaurant when we met so that she could see I was a legit SD. I waited a bit and responded with that I would be fine with that as long as she blew me in my car in the parking lot before I handed over the money so I could see that she is a legit SB. She didn’t appreciate the irony

I copy/pasted my URL in the “website” section. I just edited my profile, and I’m not sure if it’s too wordy or if I’m conveying the right message.

Thanks in advance for the feedback!

flyRsays:

@ msugar – I think you can also ask the moderator to share your email with someone you designate (You should have a disposable email for SA) . You can then ask for comments offline. As an alternative you can sign up here on the blog under another name and toss your number into the blog and watch the comments from the safety of a different name .

@Darkie – Yes it is frustrating to see a profile and have no idea of their expectations. Per the earlier discussions many of the stated ranges are a wish rather than a requirement. Both should have an idea of the acceptable range very early in the discussion. In a first note to a “negotiable” SB I’ll generally mentions something to the effect that if she is looking for a relationship that includes (list of benefits) rather than just maximizing the $ then we should talk.

I think screening for range compatibility early is good but I have seldom had something work out where economics (other than an assurance that there was sugar at the end of the rainbow) was the 200lb gorilla.

@ Carrie — I normally suggest that a pot SB NOT travel for a first meeting with a pot SD. There are exceptions but you are obviously a new SB, so just don’t do it. If your pot SD is for real and wants you, he will travel to you.

Unless your pot SD and yourself have decided before entering an arrangement to be “exclusive” why wouldn’t you keep talking to others?

SugarySpiceysays:

MSugar – copy/paste the URL of your profile in the “website” line after your blog username then ask people to click on the hyperlink which will be created with your name. Once you’ve gotten some feedback you can delete the link. Most people actually DO post their profile #’s on the blog and it’s fine – but I can see why you might not want it public forever.

SugarySpiceysays:

Since the term “Real SD” is often discussed I thought I’d throw out my definitions:

BF – a man a girl dates and has sexual relations without first needing a conversation to establish how much sex he’s looking for, and how frequently. The man and woman BOTH have genuine physical attraction for each other, connection and, perhaps, a desire for emotional attachments to develop over time.

Real SD – A generous, successful man (meaning his title and salary are substantially better than the woman he’s trying to attract, otherwise please tell me how the clerk at the cell phone shack who makes 20k less than his SB can be an SD). The Real SD provides material benefits (beyond the dinners, conversations, sex, and birthday presents she’ll receive in traditional dating) to a younger/more attractive/kink-accommodating woman who may otherwise NOT be physically attracted to him or his marriage and life in the suburbs – in exchange for being able to set “terms” of their arrangement (I.e. Discretion, frequency, NSA, she’s expected to be exclusive while he is not).

Fake SD – A. The man who pretends to be successful when he is really just starting out in his career and/or barely paying rent on his 1-bedroom in dodgyville while making the minimum payment on his 22% interest rate signature loan each month, or B. a man who might actually have the appearance of success but is so misererly that being with him feels like he’s the guy in situation A. Both men are physically dating out of their league while sharing grandiose stories about their great success (while his tiny little ego needs the constant stroking of a young girl to widen her eyes in astonished admiration over his mastery of the universe). He takes her to the finest Applebee’s and tells her how much he’s “going to spoil her” but somehow she never actually receives anything more than promises, and her pick of dinner options on the 2-for-$20 menu.

Joshsays:

@MSugar:

Don’t post your id. Write a note to SD Guru. I dont know if this is something he does, but he is very helpful.

As far as long term or short term, they are meaningless looking forward. They have a meaning when you look backwards.

That said, a potentially long term arrangement can turn short term when the expectations are not managed properly from either or both sides. 😉

From the SD’s point of view it takes a lot of time and screening before making mutually beneficial arrangements with keeper SBs. So I doubt that many serious SDs would just put an artificial expiry date on arrangements.

I am driving a beat-up car and wearing designer knock-offs, which is pseudo-classy, but as soon as I land a real SD who spoils me real good, I have the potential to be genuinely classy.

Carriesays:

Hello everyone,

I am kinda new to this site, but recently I have been talking to this nice SD. There is definitely some potential.

However, I have to important questions:
1.) Should our first meeting be where he lives? He would be paying for my flight. I don’t want to be childish, but I want to be smart and safe. So would it be okay to do?

2.) Do I communicate with other SD’s? If we both have not officially taken down our pages off the sure yet.

DarkHorseSDsays:

From S.doll: “so guys here goes my first bad experience on SA as a newbie…”

What did you expect after reading the blog !0¡

LadyDisays:

@flyR noo its is not like that =) ..some guy 33 years old, net worth $10 million – $50 million.. and when u say this magic word “skype”, pufff they all disappear=) you know, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is ..=)

aliceSsays:

@Fatbastard
” you believe that the men you are meeting IRL are lacking ambition, maturity, and life experience and you want to be exposed to men who possess these qualities through short term relationships”
You can’t put it better!!! My last IRL that just insured me to have an account on SA was from AZ. Far enough for me to check some things. But thankfully, we live in an Internet era so I could verified most of his stories. His annual incomes was between 29k up to 35k maximum. He didn’t had criminal records, nor a wife. Wasn’t divorced. Etc. I was glad even. I thought at least he have a job, so I won’t pay for him after all I liked him a lot. But after 3 month of conversation, he tried to make an impression he was a millionaire. Supermen. With 8 houses over Hollywood. I told him that I know all, and I can give him a chance to stop lying. He continued to the point, he was offended’ by me accusing him. So no. Thanks for drama. I prefer clear an open relationship. I have my life, SD his. We seen each other from time to time, and non of us need to lie or harass each other every five minutes. That’s the comfort part. And since two persons aren’t overwhelmed with them being too much time, it is unconditional pleasure=sugar. So trips and dates are sweet. They do not fatigue your brain. And if from that pleasurable meeting SD decide to contribute to some of my expenses I’m even more then happy.

flyRsays:

I would add to the above short term as in 4 months to a couple of years, Not just a couple dates.

flyRsays:

FB in a display of wisdom offered

“”If you believe that the men you are meeting IRL are lacking ambition, maturity, and life experience and you want to be exposed to men who possess these qualities through short term relationships (for the most part) then you have a fighting chance to have success with the SA site if you learn how to choose your SD’s wisely.””””

That pretty much says it all with the addition that you will also have economic benefits. If you believe you are trading down on the quality of the men you are with for the economic benefit then it’s not likely to be a good experience.

“If you are a pro SB then you will have a lot of success on SA.”

Are you referring to pro = escort, or is this some other kind of “pro”?

The rest of it I kinda understand and I am trying to digest. 😉

Thanks

FatBastardSDsays:

@aliceS

I cannot provide tips on how to get lots of money or pricey gifts from a SD since I have never had a SD. I can give an opinion on who I think will make a successful SB though:

If you believe that most of the guys you normally date/meet IRL are all sexy, successful, and amazing younger men, then SA will not work for you.

If you believe that you are more successful than the SD’s on the SA site then you will not have success with the SA site.

If you are a pro SB then you will have a lot of success on SA.

If you believe that the men you are meeting IRL are lacking ambition, maturity, and life experience and you want to be exposed to men who possess these qualities through short term relationships (for the most part) then you have a fighting chance to have success with the SA site if you learn how to choose your SD’s wisely.

Joshsays:

@Kindred Spirit:

@DarkHorseSD, “What’s incredible for me to see is a SD’s profile stating he makes $50,000-$75,000, is married, and has “Substantial” listed for his budget. And that works how?? ;)”

Since Guru has not been sighted for some time here, please allow me to answer the question…

It is pretty simple actually, you just provide him with a cancelled check. He goes to the HR next morning and provides the details from your cancelled check to have his paycheck deposited directly into your account. 😉

Next sugarship question please?

SunShineSDsays:

“What’s incredible for me to see is a SD’s profile stating he makes $50,000-$75,000, is married, and has “Substantial” listed for his budget. And that works how?? ”

1. The two are looking for an SB together.
2. He owns substantial assets, and can take massive depreciation on assets shield a substantial part of his cash flow from being classified as “income.”
3. He owns a substantial business, and can pay the SB out of business expense, not taking bite out of personal income at all. It’s the cash equivalent of business travel SD’s taking SB’s on trips.
4. He didn’t read the definition of what “Substantial” means on SA.

DarkHorseSDsays:

Did I break any negotiating rules by not making an offer to the pa?

Kindred Spiritsays:

DarkHorseSD, “Negotiable” is ambiguous, for sure, but seems to be what most people are comfortable with listing on profiles. What’s incredible for me to see is a SD’s profile stating he makes $50,000-$75,000, is married, and has “Substantial” listed for his budget. And that works how?? 😉

Kindred Spiritsays:

DarkhorseSD, “Met a hostess today. Is that higher than a waitress?”

-Insert joke here about Twinkie Defense-

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Zacksays:

@DH, I’m afraid I agree with Josh. You didn’t actually try to negotiate or you would have known better. We can take standard platitudes about number first and such as given.

The lead up conversation to negotiating the allowance (looks like a lead up, you know it’s already begun.) should put the ideas of costs on the table before you get to numbers. You could have had enough of your costs in her head that she would have felt your opening offer generous, if you tried.

SD’s are probably more adept at negotiations than SB’s…if they try…your heart wan’t in it, Sir.

Offered an arrangement to this negotiable SB based on offered frequency. She countered for twice as much so we might negotiate.

Does negotiable mean whatever you offer I will negotiate from much higher?

DarkHorseSDsays:

The pa really mailed in date #2 tonight so I went all pervey by saying “well its time you head home to your mother.” And let her hug me goodbye. I never even mentioned arrangement or money. Imagine the blog post she could write. Decent meal though at a good restaurant. Wish I took her to Applebee’s for $145 less.

I know I should have compensated her for the hug and her completely flat demeanor but I’m just that skeevie.

Joshsays:

Male Chauvinist Pig?

“I routinely get asked on this site if I have experience with sugar relationships. I don’t even know how to approach reasoning about this. Pretty much every “real” relationship I’ve ever been in had strong aspects of a “sugar” relationship in that I paid for everything and then some.

In exchange, I was receiving sex, bitching, demands for owning all of my free time and expectations of a life-long commitment. I will let you figure out what of the above I am trying to avoid by being on this website.”

LadyDisays:

ohh..our romantic story died, because of you :/

Zacksays:

One nice thing about still being pretty new: hope.

LadyDi, I feel I should be privileged, should real world circumstance permit, to meet you. But it wouldn’t happen now. I’m excited about a current pot, and just switched from “hunting” to “spectating” here. Most’s pots don’t work out, but I think the Holy Grail is out there.

aliceSsays:

@Fatbastard maybe you can provide us with some tips/hits then.

FatBastardSDsays:

The odds of finding a SB who is worthy of receiving gifts, $$, and lavish fun dates is about 5 in 100. The remainder of the time you will have to put up with a PriceySpicey clone. If you thought it was bad enough reading her posts for free imagine what it must be like paying to hear this shit in a lavish restaurant.

Totally believe you! I never had SB/SD arragement and I think, that i will never have one. From all these e-mails, i do not believe anyone.

SugarySpiceysays:

The Poll

1) do you plan to marry someday ? Done that, it’s totally overrated – my 2nd attempt would of course only be so I can manipulate, sabotage the relationship, divorce him, and take all his money.

2)are you optimistic about finding life long monogamous true love ? – True love, yes. Monogamy – God I hope not, then he might expect the same from me.

3)do you even believe in monogamy ? – I believe it exists, like Siberia, but I don’t need to go there

4)do you think your guy will be different from the rest of us cheating horndogs – Men who cheat usually aren’t just horn dogs – they’re also entitled, narcissistic, and grandiose – just my type

5)anybody want to be my FWB ? My penis is definitely more special than everyone else’s lol and LOL – Only if you make it clear that it’s completely unreasonable for me to even mention my sexual satisfaction in the interaction

SugarySpiceysays:

Softi – looks like my “nonsense” was EXACTLY what happened to Sugardoll.

Her poser asked for FWB because he wasn’t into her enough to offer EVEN an arrangement.

LadiDi – it’s easy to know – assume they are ALL liars AND psychopaths. Be nice, be friendly, but be aware.

MOST of the men you will be contacted by on this site are NOT interested in offering an arrangement, and most if them spam you within the first few days. When I analyzed the responses I got after 2 weeks on the site I had about 300 messages, of those:

Most were:
A – Catfish playing bigshot
B – Bitter, angry, abusive woman-hating creeps (like you can see on this blog occasionally) who want to bang you for as little $$ as possible, as often as possible, without concern for your satisfaction or happiness a.k.a. “Johns”,
C – Guys looking to date (in the traditional sense) way out of their league by pretending to be generous but really only ever “give” a dinner at Applebee’s and an awkward grope
D – Pervey guys looking to fill a very specific kink

Finding a “generous benefactor” who will provide gift$, allowance, or fun lavish dates is rare – but it does happen (for every 100 messages you might have 1-5 legitimate prospects).

Screen, Google, and proceed with caution, a throw away email address, a Google phone number, and a sense of humor – you’ll need them all.

my 2 cents….He should be so good at being bad that he deserves an encore!

Zacksays:

@ Lady, would you settle for the attentions of a knight errrant?

Poll
All ready married.. And happy lol
Obviously an open marriage. 😉
My guy is different then cheating horn dogs.. Lol ( he’s a horndog but never a cheat.)
#5 sorry looking for a sugarship not a FWB lol

@Josh“I am wondering if I have cracked the code at WhatsYourPrice.com or is it just a fluke.”

If your primary goal is to look for SB’s, then I’d suggest that you stick with SA. You don’t need to use credits to communicate, and you can do all the screening you want before a meet. And of course a meet doesn’t require compensation (unless you agree otherwise). And depending on location you’ll usually have more choices. You should be able to communicate with and meet more pot SB’s at a lower cost on SA compared to WYP.

aliceSsays:

Hi everyone

sweetiesays:

About the poll, there are happy married men and there are unhappy ones. Some cheat, some don’t, some get a divorce, some continue married and look elsewhere, etc. Same goes for women. That doesn’t mean one should stay jaded. Do your best to enjoy it and move on when it’s over, if possible.

@NC “Some guys think that women should consider themselves lucky that he chose her to inject with his manhood.”
Hahaha, sounds like Horsey, doesn’t it?

gentle(man)soulsays:

@all SBs

Aren’t you all discouraged about the future of marriage reading about and dating all these miserably married SDs ?

A quick poll : (for the ladies )
1) do you plan to marry someday ?
2)are you optimistic about finding life long monogamous true love ?
3)do you even believe in monogamy ?
4)do you think your guy will be different from the rest of us cheating horndogs
5)anybody want to be my FWB ? My penis is definitely more special than everyone else’s lol and LOL

flyRsays:

@Sugardoll – I do not think you can post your picture here but you can post your profile number here if you choose to .

Sugardollsays:

@Guru i had no problems at all with his marriege situation, due the fact that his wife has her bf (and so much more hard details he gave me about his marriage than that including kids)…which was the reason i know he wont lie about that…And i didnt have any problem at all dating him, but the fact that after all the conversations we had, the good times spent, he just come out telling me today … about casual hook up… it was awkward cuz that was the last thing i would ever imagine to come out from what we had.

Sugardollsays:

lol..ty darky…well this might put me down…but i get over losers really quick… at least i have a experience now for my future dates. next time i will just let the feelings at home.. I dont have bad luck finding SD is just that for me i have to feel attracted if i dont feel that i dont answer…lol (is that good or bad?)

Btw how to i place my profile pic on the blog?

Sugardollsays:

We are both over 35, all discussions we had was about moving forward to a relationship since we both felt attracted to each other, it was a really cool connection all the time…and we did not have sex until our 3rd date, and after that we still went out for dinner and drinks as usual, we were making plans of traveling ahead and also spending more than 1 day together, he also took me to show me his place where he lives….that’s why his answer surprised me now.

@SugarDoll“He is not single, he has a complicated marriage…”

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Have you considered the fact that he’s married as part of the reason for his reaction? Generally speaking, married men who intend to stay in their marriage prefer to have NSA sugar relationships (except some of the SD’s here on the blog). Which makes you wonder how sincere he was when he said all those nice things in the beginning.

No typos.
Uses one of the approved forms of ŁØŁ
Uses u instead of you only 50% of the time.

I hate to see this one go lol

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Sugardoll

Sorry Sweetie ! He is one of many guys who are just looking for an amateur sex toy . Don’t let your emotions take over too quickly when you meet someone who seems good for you . Give the relationship time to evolve and see if he is a guy you want or just a user .

Some guys think that women should consider themselves lucky that he chose her to inject with his manhood . He probably can’t even understand what the big deal is all about . You got laid and he thinks you had the best that can be had ,so you should race back for more orgasms .

I hope you answered back that the sex was pretty bad but you figured he might be trainable . But obviously you were mistaken .

But don’t cry over spilled milk……. Most young women have had similar IRL experiences with men they have met at a party or bar (or beach, store etc) .

Years ago when I was in SF the bars were a great source but the Safeway in the Marina was far better for fining a date for the evening.

Sugardollsays:

@lady thinks were going pretty cool.. so far away from being just casual hook ups, that never came out on our conversations…if he has been honest since i first date him would have been a big NO..that was what i last expected from our dates.

flyRsays:

@ Sugardoll – Your adventure is one of the reasons a number of us recommend student SBs ( as in student pilots trying to do acrobatics on their first solo ) not have sex on the first meeting unless a) you are ok if he disappears or b) you have engaged in extensive discussions / emails over time because you were at separate location and I guess c) if you are over 35

Thank you for your answers =) @doll.. he is just not that into you, and i hope that you did not have sex with him=)

Zacksays:

Hmm, or maybe he decided to break it off after sex? That could have a couple of reasons, 😛

Zacksays:

Some of your questions may be answered; he considers you an escort.

What you do now is your choice, but it does not sound like it will include “flipping” this guy into an “irl” relationship. Your other options remain. Your feeling will pass. Your scamdar will improve. Learn from your mistakes, they are yours, but try not to become bitter?

The same goes for lying men. Replace “10” by “100”, and replace “psychopath” by “lying man/men.”

You will find instant detailed advice on how to deal with such men. After all, millions of women ARE using that advice as we speak. 😉

flyRsays:

@ Lady Di – “How can I trust ”

Ronald Reagan spoke about the essential approach to the sugar universe

Trust But Verify

You are probably getting a lot of mail because the default search option sorts by newest profile. In addition SA may have featured your photograph The other possibility is that you have a very special profile.

I’m new on this website, like 8 days and already i have 100+ e-mails. Is that normal? How can you trust this men? what if they lie or they are some psychopath? ..or maybe i’m just a coward =)

flyRsays:

her lunchtime sugardate

flyRsays:

@Dark Horse “But you know, she just isn’t perfect. And even though we had tons of sex on our third date, I just don’t know if she wants me to meet her parents or if five years* from now we will still be together and just as happy as we are today.”

“lasted 4 years”

IRL and sugar is the difference between powerboating and sailing. You get on a powerboat and put up with the noise, smell ($ of fuel going out the back) and sharp rolling action because you want to get somewhere.

You go sailing because you like the experience for what it is .

There’s a place for both. However, I think sugar should be like sailing…… enjoy the voyage as long as it lasts. Keep the relationship balanced – investment justified by current yield.

Re communications
If I owned a restaurant I would probably do what a lot of service employers do and require cell phones to be left in the locker while you are working, recovered at break time. Few things annoy me more than seeing a waitress, salesperson etc checking messages while I am waiting or my food is waiting to be served. Of course the 2.5 hours she’s mia might just be here lunchtime sugardate

After instituting the proces I have successfully screened three more young ladies and have a potential date with the fourth.

I haven’t met her yet. We “may” meet in a few days.

I will keep you posted.

NC Gentsays:

regarding the name calling in bed aka pillow talk… I love it occasionally for a change up but not all the time. It does remind me of one of my all time favorite t-shirts that I saw a woman wearing. It said “If you call me a bitch, you better be pulling my hair” Happy sugar everyone!

Thank you S.doll,

By the end of our next date I will find something else I am dissatisfied with and see how the blog tells me to handle it.

Sugardollsays:

@DarkHorseSD

Ive been a waitress before and trust me sometimes we get pretty busy and their not allow to use the phone, maybe she has been busy though…but i assume thats something you can talk to her about..idk, i wont complain if someone answer me at night, its worst when someone answer you 24hrs later or maybe never…im just saying

OP, as comforting as your response is on the issue, I really think I should just focus in on her lack of perfection.

DarkHorseSDsays:

I see, ATM, you are the one who has been taking these SBs out.

@ DarkHorseSD — Meh… Just depends on how she treats txt’ing. IME girls that get tons of txt from her circle of friends tend to just get to the back log when they can. On the other hand the biggest scam artist I have ran into was the same way…

DarkHorseSDsays:

At the rate I’m going I’ll be changing diapers until I have to start changing my own.

Sugardollsays:

lmfao….u guys kicking my ass over my inexperience, im all new into all this dating thing…i just have 2 yrs in this country and its all new to me, in my country we dont have the dating term, either we hook up or have a relationship, im having a mix of experiences on the dating thing even on my regular life … cuz i dont know what was dating..This guy i first date from SA i have to admit i do like him, and its someone i would definitely date if i have met him out of SA. He is not single, he has a complicated marriage, and i do believe him that part for the details he gave me about it (and im not the kind of person who believes everything cuz i have trust issues) but still that doesnt mean i believe everything he says, i feel good when we together (cant deny it)…And i know i could of get a good arrangement with him if i have known well how do deal with SB/SD thing since the beginning … but come on whos not going to take advantage of an inexperience person? (i would to) the money issue its something that i never brought out cuz i didnt know how to, And i didnt know how SD/SB really worked…im not use to ask or request money not even to my family, i post my situation here for you guys to tell me what i needed to do, cuz i didnt have any fking idea of what i was into…lol…Now with everything i have read, i kind of feel ready for my next Arrangement And also to put this guy on his place next time he ask me for a date….The only thing that i was complaining bout him is the lack of communication in between dates, cuz when u really have a physical connection w someone at least u text or call…so that was the point in which i got confuse. cuz if everything else was going good (well except for my inexperience knowledge w arrangements, i didnt know when to put the money issue conversation on)…but a phone call or text how are you, doesn’t hurt nobody…

Sugardollsays:

lmfao….u guys kicking my ass over my inexperience, im all new into all this dating thing…i just have 2 yrs in this country and its all new to me, in my country we dont have the dating term, either we hook up or have a relationship, im having a mix of experiences on the dating thing even on my regular life … cuz i dont know what was dating..This guy i first date from SA i have to admit i do like him, and its someone i would definitely date if i have met him out of SA. He is not single, he has a complicated marriage, and i do believe him that part for the details he gave me about it (and im not the kind of person who believes everything cuz i have trust issues) but still that doesnt mean i believe everything he says, i feel good when we together (cant deny it)…And i know i could of get a good arrangement with him if i have known well how do deal with SB/SD thing since the beginning … but come on whos not going to take advantage of an inexperience person? (i would to) the money issue its something that i never brought out cuz i didnt know how to, And i didnt know how SD/SB really worked…im not use to ask or request money not even to my family, i post my situation here for you guys to tell me what i needed to do, cuz i didnt have any fking idea of what i was into…lol…Now with everything i have read, i kind of feel ready for my next Arrangement And also to put this guy on his place next time he ask me for a date….The only thing that i was complaining bout him is the lack of communication in between dates, cuz when u really have a physical connection w someone at least u text or call…

PriceySpicey’s persona is an example of the type of SB that is prevalent on this site. I have had to sit through more than one SA date listening to the same drivel that she posts on the blog.

SugarySpiceysays:

Darky – clearly she’s only in it to try to get knocked up and then force you to change diapers for two years. You’re so lucky this waitress is going to be giving you the “joy of fatherhood”.

The difference with Sugardoll’s situation – is HER feelings toward it. Her intuition is telling her something isn’t right, and THAT is why she’s posting, to confirm what she already knows. Just like you already know your waitress IS only with you for the money.

DarkHorseSDsays:

* My longest arrangement lasted nearly four years and I need to know I can do better.

DarkHorseSDsays:

I am out of cranberry juice, though there are some dried cranberries left. I finished the last of the Lindt somewhat earlier. I’ve never had a gossip mag but the WSJ spring fashion magazine is on the night table.

Now as to my own sugar world concerns:

I met this waitress not long ago. It was looking dicey for a while, but things seem to have come together. We had a great time together (a whole heck of a lot of great time together).

But you know, she just isn’t perfect. And even though we had tons of sex on our third date, I just don’t know if she wants me to meet her parents or if five years* from now we will still be together and just as happy as we are today.

As challenging as all that is, my true concern is that when I text her she doesn’t get back to me right away. It seems she takes an average of two hours and forty five minutes to respond. Often her responses are well under 160 characters. One day she didn’t respond until late that night. So how do I know she doesn’t just want me for my money?

By the way, I did give her money on the second and third date, and she took it! She didn’t even try to refuse!

I know I should be playing the field until I find a FWB to save money, but I kind of like this girl. I guess I should just keep her on the field then. I could always see her less for less money once FWB is in place. In the meantime I just bite the bullet so to speak.

Anyway, I have all this extra cash burning a hole in my pocket that I got from my girlfriend. Screw it. I’m heading down to Flash Dancers and finding a couple girls to take into the VIP for an hour until closing and then take them to “breakfast.”

I’ll post from my iPhone.

Oh, and should I mention to the waitress about her slow responses to my texts?

SunShineSDsays:

20% of someone making 10x the median household income is 400+500% of what an average 25yo makes (male or female), and that’s without the payer consuming any of it himself. Yes, it is calamitous for an average 25yo girl to get pregnant by an average 25yo boy with less than 70% chance of being employed and making only $25k a year on average even if employed (which is not even enough for his own personal consumption without going into debt), especially if the boy only cared about the pleasure of his dick and never had any plan to provide for the girl or their baby to begin with.

However, getting pregnant by a high income / high net worth and available SD OTOH is potentially a much higher paying job prospect than the average corporate jobs out there.

Not saying anyone should become a gold digger for that reason, but if one is keen on the joys of motherhood and security for her child, getting a “gold plated dick” for lining the vagina and the nest is not a bad deal.

You are choosing to manipulate words to recreate meanings which somehow serve your hormonal funk. I believe you are intentionally “convuluting” my statements so that you can sabotage our relationship.

DarkHorseSDsays:

Summing up my evening:

I read about a girl who met a guy (on sa?) she really likes and likes how he treats her. He offered her money, but she refused any because it wasn’t enough but didn’t counter for more. They are peers, similar age etal.

Then somehow he gave her money – dont know if it was “enough” – and they have been intimate…which she doesn’t seem to complain about.

But he doesn’t call. He doesn’t write. He just shows up for the next seemingly pleasant date. She doesn’t appear to have asked him to call/write and hasn’t indicated if she calls/writes and gets ignored.

He also says a bunch of nice longer term relationship oriented things. But she doesn’t know how he feels about her. They’ve had three dates and she doesn’t know how he really feels.

So then I read this guy, who is boyfriend eligible to this girl, gives her money and proposes of his own accord to give her money, is a dangerous impregnating dick who will destroy her life through the tears experienced at every soccer practice.

Also, this fraud is not an SD. He’s just a brother, a f* buddy, FWB slime ball of the worst order. (You know the kind)

What ever happened to the joy of motherhood?

DarkHorseSDsays:

But it isn’t no risk to the man

SugarySpiceysays:

Darky – you and I both know the 20% (after taxes, with caps) a man MIGHT pay in support is nothing compared to motherhood. Let alone the disgusting, and staggering % of deadbeat dads (hence the term). Add in the cost to a mother of the heartbreak everytime junior asks why “daddy” never shows up to soccer games or birthday parties then tell me with a straight face that the cost is equivalent. 1 in 6 children born to a single mom is food insecure, and tens of thousands of single moms are one bad childcare arrangement away from homelessness.

Even if a woman can garner wages (if the loser has steady employment), you can only force the custodial parent “mom” into actually caring for her child – everyday, all day long, for 18+ years. I’m thinking the cost of 18 years of thankless hard labor, pregnancy, and childbirth is significantly more expensive.

Pregnancy = 18-23 yrs of payments with no further pussy*

18-23 yrs of payments with no further pussy* = no risk to man

* both from the pregnant pussy and every other now unaffordable pussy.

SugarySpiceysays:

Darky – a good deep d*ck’n can be lovely, but it should never be considered a “gift” to us. For women, the abundance of available “gold liners” is so great that at the most, even after a good delicious make-your-legs-jelly hump the man still owes you dinner for the privilege. 😉

Someone calling me a whore in the bedroom? Yes, please! But only if you pull my hair and smack my ass after.

Rrrraaaaarrrrr!!!!!!

flyRsays:

As usual the sugar coating is stripped bare by SS , but she’s right

SugarySpiceysays:

Sugar doll – if you’re not sure it he’s into you, if he doesn’t call or text, if he asks you to be “friends with benefits”, HE IS NOT INTO you!!!

Why would a single guy, who’d found a single girl, that he is attracted to, who likes him, and is willing to hang out with him regularly, ask for FWB? What is his motivation?

Men are hunters. They don’t want to share the big game, they want win it. FWB is just a way of asking for free non-committal sex, because they aren’t into you enough to offer a relationship and/or aren’t generous enough to offer an arrangement (in the world of SA). At least in an arrangement you KNOW what the benefits to you are. Why would you possibly want an FWB situation with some poser who pretends to be an SD with no real intention of giving anything to you but his d*ck?

Why did he talk about meeting your family then stop? Why does he text the same thing about how fun it is to spend time with you? Because that’s what men do, it’s standard operating procedure. It DOESNT mean anything – it’s just static.

You know how to know if someone likes you? Because you know. They tell you. They call you. They make arrangements for the next date during the date you’re on. When a man is into a woman he locks it down, ASAP. It is the MOST obvious thing in the world – unless the guy’s a p*ssy afraid to make a move (but that is NOT a guy who asks for FWB).

A man asking for FWB is insulting you! He’s saying, “You look like a girl who will take on all the risk of pregnancy and STDs so that I can get my dick wet, and you have so little self-esteem you won’t even expect any risk from me.” Being asked to be an FWB (if you’re single and he’s single should be met with “F* ck You!”

Anything else is just the game of “chase the skirt” which results in you playing girl games, him playing nonchalant asshole, and eventually, drama.

No good will come from this FWB sugardaddy wanna-bee.

aliceSsays:

@Sugardoll we will cross our fingers

Sugardollsays:

@Zack @gentle(man)soul

Oh well yeah i have other dates on the way, but at least now i know better how to deal with it…cuz i was really confuse when i start dating him and of course as he is more experienced he could take advantage of that…But now i have everything clear…ty guys to all…

gentle(man)soulsays:

@Sugardoll

” ,on the 3rd day yes, he did give me some money”

OK ,here’s what you say .
1)I would like to talk about an arrangement because I like you and think we could have fun together

2) I want a:to see you every ____days
3) I want ____$ per ___(visit/week/month ) paid ____(before/after) we meet
4)I want to hear from you on a more regular basis ,say every ___Days (1,2,or3
5)I also want ____(whatever else )

What are you thinking ? ( Whatever he says if it isn’t “OK Honey” tell him you will think about it and get back to him after ,of course, you tell us everything and we all can opine about it 1st . And don’t sleep with him unless he agrees to a Sugar package that you like . Throwing a few bucks on the bureau