Graham Norton gives Cher Attitude, Westboro Baptist Church to picket World Series, the Warwick Rowing Team takes us behind the scenes

The general rule of journalism is that you only out asshats who are working against gay rights in public while banging fashion week models in private. So it’s puzzling that Gawker ran a story about Fox News’ Shep Smith behaving badly in a bar, then casually dropping in the middle of the article that he was there with a straight couple and his much younger boyfriend. Smith may work for asshats, but he’s never been one of them. And there’s no real evidence that Shep is actually gay. And if there was proof, wouldn’t Gawker lead with the fact that Shep stepped out with his hot young boytoy? So what shadiness is it to try and drop it in the middle of the piece?

Because cancer has been cured, you can now buy underwear that contains activated charcoal that will keep your farts from smelling. The male version of the briefs goes for $45 if you’re out to prove that you’re not doing normal bodily functions.

While birds and mammals often engage in same-sex behavior for bonding, dominance, and just because it’s fun, a new study says that when insects and spiders do it (and they do it a lot), it’s mostly because they’re horny and too dumb to check on the gender of their mate before doing the act, not because they have any need for same-sex fun.

While most people assumed that James Spader would just provide the voice for Ultron in The Avengers 2, that’s not the case. “We did not hire James Spader to do a robot voice. Ultron in the comics is a robot, but what’s cool about him in the comics — and certainly how Joss Whedon is interpreting him for the movie — is that he is much more than just a robot. That he’s infused with much character.”

A Kanawha County clerk in my home state of West Virginia has asked the court for an extension to respond to a lawsuit seeking to overturn our ban on marriage equality. “Certainly, 21 days is not appropriate time to prepare a responsive pleading on issues that will affect the entire state. To put the onus on her to file a responsive pleading … without the knowledge of the attorney general’s position is fundamentally unfair.” As for our Attorney General, he’s quite conservative and has been accused of some fairly shady business dealings, so I don’t expect him to come out on the right side of history.

The Westboro Baptist Church has announced plans to picket the World Series, presumably over MLB’s support of Spirit Day. “WBC will picket Game 3 of the 2013 World Series to remind this nation that organized sports has given itself wholly over to the fag agenda. The MLB is competing furiously with the NBA and NFL to see who can kiss fag ass the most effectively. Once the domain of so-called masculine men of the patriotic pastime, the facade of traditional morality has fallen off the idolatrous beast that is Major League Baseball.” Good luck with that.

Utah seems to think that marriage equality is all about procreation, which hasn’t played well in the courts lately. And they are upset that they can’t make their own rules. “The resolution of this case will determine much more than whether marriage licenses will be issued to some same-sex couples. It will necessarily impact whether Utah or any other state can maintain the principle that children should be reared by a married mother and father whenever possible … ”

In his new book, Corey Feldmanreveals a history of sexual abuse for himself and Corey Haim at the hands of Hollywood power players. It began with Haim as early as 1986, “an adult male convinced him that it was perfectly normal for older men and younger boys in the business to have sexual relations, that it was what all the guys do. So they walked off to a secluded area between two trailers … and Haim allowed himself to be sodomized.” The abuse continued for years, leading to their descent into drugs. “Corey was raped at the age of 11, and like many, many victims, drug use became an easy, if also tragic, way for him to escape the weight of that shame.”

The Boy Scouts have booted the men responsible for destroying an ancient rock formation in Goblin Valley Stat Park, saying their behavior was bad and they violated the Scout code of “leave no trace.”

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People either love Buzzfeed or hate it. I admit that I probably don’t read 90% of what flashes through Feedly, but this hate video ignores a lot of great reporting that Buzzfeed does. They are one of the only journalism operations that are growing and investing in news, and they don’t get enough credit for that. And some of the attribution gripes here are just silly. Attribution is important, but that’s almost like saying I can never link to Towleroad because they summarized and enriched someone else’s reporting.

This video is entirely NSFW, but may be worth getting fired over. The Warwick Rowing Team, famous for their naked calendars that support anti-bullying charities, bring us their behind the scenes video from their shoot.

We always hear the objection from bigots that being gay is too hard to explain to children. And while my favorite rebuttal to that belongs to Louis CK, perhaps more practical story comes from Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who spoke of explaining to her eight year old son what being gay meant, how he accepted it, then how by age twelve had evolved much, much further.

When I was a child, I remember having “Monster Mash” on a K-Tel record with a bunch of other Halloween themed songs, and I loved the innocent camp of the whole thing each year. This version loses some of the innocence since it’s from The Walking Dead, but it’s a perfect addition to the season.

Because it’s Hump Day, and that sucks, here is a slow motion video of dogs shaking themselves to get you through. It was used to create some truly stunning portraits of the canines in motion that you can see here.

Almost Human is trying to create their own category of slash with this preview, even calling it “Ro-bromance.” While I’m sure much fic will eventually be written about these two, I’m not entirely sure that I can stand Karl Urban’s character long enough to fall in love with the show.

Cher has always been with the gays, long before our other musical icons like Madonna and Britney. She started in childhood, as you’ll hear during her acceptance speech for the Attitude Awards. And you really have to hear the introduction from Graham Norton, because he paints a picture that’s really difficult to imagine, and will make you feel empty inside that you missed it.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Jackass. I don’t think getting your nuts smashed is all that funny. I’m fond of my nuts. But Bad Grandpa looks just scripted enough to allow me to turn off my brain and laugh for 90 minutes, and that’s something I need in my life a great deal right now.