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Cheats and Walkthroughs

EA is looking to hire a "web ninja" (more commonly known as a MMO Web Architect) to work on an unannounced massively multiplayer role playing game that they deem revolutionary. The job listing on Gamastura is based out of Redwood, CA and doesn't give any information on the MMO but is pretty hilarious.

Let’s be clear. We’re not looking for just anybody. We’re looking for a web ninja that is well-versed in all web technologies and has extensive experience scaling server-side systems. If web technologies were made up on 5 key building blocks (components, data tier, business tier, presentation, integration), you would be Voltron – Defender of the Web Universe.

You know all the obscurities and intricacies of web technologies and if this were a Jeopardy match, you would take it down unchallenged like the Ken Jennings of Web.

Staying ahead of technology is more than a job but a past-time. Web 3.0? That’s so passé.

Multi-threaded apps? Are you kidding? Super-duper-hyper-threaded. “I eat that for breakfast.”

And when someone asks you’re if you’re multi-lingual, you respond “Yes, Java, C++, C#, Python – to name a few.”

You dream in code. You’ve watched Field of Dreams and when they say “If you build, he will come,” you think it’s your manifesto to build the best damn web site / service / architecture ever imaginable to attract the tens of millions of loyal fans and customers we will have.

What we have in store is a challenge for you? It will be huge. It will be monumental and the technical challenges from the size, volume, and touch points will be awesome. You’ll love it and be eager to get to work each day. You’ll get to try out new technologies, build things on the cloud and work on systems that touch the boundaries of both the game systems and web services layers.

You may say to yourself? This person doesn’t exist; it’s the unicorn we’re all looking for. Our response would be “next.” But if you believe this to be you and have claims to be the chosen one, then we implore you to apply and come join one of the best and brightest teams.