Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

March 01, 2008

BARGUMENTS

Miami Herald reporter and very tall person Doug Hanks has written a book called Barguments, which is basically a list of good things to argue about in a bar. Mrs. Blog and I recently met Doug in a bar to have a few beers and bargue about some important issues. Incredibly, I was always right.

Comments

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Nascar is more of a sport than sailing? Is the measure amount of physical effort required or amount of skill required? I vote for level of skill required = Nascar. (I don't think level of danger is the measure, Dave, or that would make jumping out of airplanes a sport.)

Notices that alcohol was involved. But Dave, if you're using Sophie to change the channels if you don't have a remote, how can she get you a beer when she has to change the change the channel every 30 seconds? She won't have time to run to the fridge and back.

Dave, you should've hung in there. Imagine how much work it is to muscle a car without ac or automatic transmission or power steering, 'cause they all weigh, around a track for how many hours in 90-100+ heat, and hotter in the car. The drivers have to war a cool suit, I believe, but it doesn't do it all. This next to sitting on the deck of a boat, in the breeze, occasionally working feverishly. I think you coulda won that one...

If I'm going out drinking with an ex-President, I'm drinking with Bill Clinton. You just know that there will be booze, babes, and after a couple rounds, more clothes on the floor than the aftermath of a sales at Filene's Basement.

NASCAR is not a sport.... Driving fast and turning left, I do that all the time. Sometimes I even turn right, which apparently you are not supposed to do in NASCAR.

I think that if NASCAR wanted to be a sport, they would install turn signals and require the drivers to use their signals every time they turned left or wanted to pass. Make it more like Miami traffic.

Dave, my dad used to call us in from playing in the front yard outside to change the channel for him. And get him a beer. If you beer suddenly starts to blow up in your face more than usual when you open it, suspect Sophie.

Cheese -- I didn't say sailing's not a sport. I'm just saying that I've been in sailing races, and I've driven a NASCAR car on a race course, and in my opinion, NASCAR racing requires more athletic ability. Of course I could be wrong. I also should note that, given a choice between watching a sailing race and watching a NASCAR race, I would take a nap.

Lovely book, but if a guy's gotta bring a book to a bar to start an argument with me, he's not lasting long. One hand for your beer. One hand for defending yourself. Ain't no extra hand for a dang book.
BUT if there's a volume two, I'm more than willing to be a part of the research team.
Iggy, we missed you last night.

This is a non argument. NASCAR is hands down the tougher sport. Just the sheer amount of physical skill it requires to operate one of those cars at 185mph kicks sailing's sorry butt right out of the bar. That being said, I'm not saying sailing isn't a valid sport. It does require a heavy amount of physical effort at times, but in brief bursts. A lot of the time your sitting around and waiting to be told to do something. At least thats the way it looks on ESPN when they have covered the America's Cup.

The couch, or in my case recliner, over the remote. Like Dave, I have a 6 year old and he likes to punch buttons anyway so it wouldn't be a big stretch. And JFK over Bill on a president I'd like to have a beer with. He ran with a much higher class of skank in his day and the Kennedy's are raging drinkers with a fortune in the bank. I doubt I'd have to buy a single round.

Sailing or race cars: sailing is way more difficult. I grew up sailing with a long line of sailors stretching back to the Vikings. Turn the key in the ignition and drive really fast. Done that in Alphas and Porches. You have a pit crew. Furthermore you are on land.

Cast off, raise the sails, take the tiller and God knows what will happen next. You could be becalmed drifting onto barnacle encrusted rocks. Giant thunder storms appear out of no where. It's easy to get completely lost. Gusty winds appear out of no where. You can get your rudder snarled up in lobster pots.