Saturday, April 30, 2011

Only in McLean

So, Sarah, Maria and I had this game going out at school called, "Only in Rexburg." Pretty self-explanatory- it was a funny list of things we encountered while there that really would only happen in Rexburg. I.E.- A man robbing a bank and getting away- ON FOOT. Or, the headline story of the local news being about a singing mailman. Or, getting chastised by a local lady for sun-bathing in a field because it was across the street from a church. Or, the whole town completely shutting down on Sundays and at 9:00 p.m. all the other days (serisouly- you couldn't go to a drive-thru at 10). Or the kid at Blockbuster checking me out saying "Oh, this is rated R" me- "Oh, do you want to see my I.D.?" kid- "No, it's just.... it's rated R- you shouldn't watch this." You get the picture.

Anyways.

I was at the Giant grocery store here in McLean, VA yesterday where there is a sign up offering Valet Parking to customers. Seriously? What nutter came up with that idea? Who gets/wants/needs VALET parking at a GROCERY store? It really just baffles me- and I always feel so bad for those poor useless guys sitting at their dumb booth by their dumb sign for something dumb that nobody is going to use. This sign has been there for awhile, yet EVERY time I see it all I can think is: "Only in McLean."

While cleaning up Valentine after she peed all over herself and my mom's couch-

Me: "Valentine!!! We do NOT go pee-pee in our underwear!!! You're a big girl, you know that!! We do NOT do that!!!!"

Valentine: (looking down) "It's not so terrible Mama." (looks at me) "It's not so terrible."

Me: "Yes it is, it is so terrible. Don't do it again."

Valentine: (looking down again muttering) "It's not so terrible Mama....."

Page: "You're gonna diiiie!"

Dad: "Do we use these, can I throw them out??"

Jordan: "Yeah you can throw them away we don't use them anymore...... but that one Dance Dance Revolution Pad has so many dear memories."

I started to nurse Moses while some of the family was around....

Merry "Drew, do you wish that was you?"

She has been on FIRE lately!

Jessie: "So, how was Page and Ted's honeymoon?"

Kasi: "Good, they said pretty much all they did was hang out in the hotel room and on the beach."

Merry: "And make-out."

Me: "Valentine, please stop doing that."

Valentine: "WHAT'D YOU SAY?!" (continuing what she's not supposed to do)

Me: "Valentine, that's enough!"

Valentine: "WHAT'D YOU SAY??!" (still doing it)

Me: "Valentine! Sto.."

Valentine: "WHAT'D YOU SAY?! WHAT?!" (still doing it)

Summer (addressing everyone): "So, if you could have a million dollars but could never use the internet again would you take it? Which would you rather have?"

Many arguments ensued about whether a million dollars is worth more than a life time's use of the internet..... after a few minutes we hear.....

Merry: "So, would you rather have food or sex?"

Silence.

Everyone: "What did you say Merry???"

"Did you just say sex?"

Nico: "She didn't, she said text."

Me: " No, she said sex."

Merry: "Uh, yeah, I say SEX."

Valentine: "Whoah Momma, she's so heavy!" (while holding Moses)

Valentine: "Happy Tine-tine's Day!" (on Valentine's day)

While Valentine is awake in her crib at midnight and being ignored by her annoyed parents: (yelling) "Momma?!........ Hey Momma?............ Mooooommmmmaaaaaaa!......... Daddy?............ Bicah?!................. ANYBODY!!! HEY ANYBODY!!!!!!!!"

Valentine: "Aw, come on!"

Kasi: "I was a creepy teenager actually."

Merry: "Um, Ted. Probably at my wedding I will dance with you third. First my husband, then my dad and then you."

Yelling from the other room-

Me: "Valentine?"

Valentine: "What?!"

Valentine: "Wight back!"

Response from Bud to my text saying "IT'S A BOY!!!"

Bud: "Hurray! Madie you really pulled through on this one."

"Page I saw the commercial for Grey's Anatomy and there's a shooter in the hospital and the Nazi gets pulled out from under a bed!"

-Micah

"What are you doing Idiot A**?"

-Sassy while driving

"Snow globe, snow globe, I am yours" - an excerpt from one of Merry's poems