I always knew I was different. When I was a teenager I was afraid to go to the counter at McDonalds and place an order for fear I would get it wrong or they would laugh at me. Humor became the perfect mask. If I could make people laugh they would not see my faults. I fell in love with radio. That “mystery man” behind the mic that would talk to me, I wanted, and got, that life. Although I was very successful I was running from an illness and eventually I crashed in February of 2011.

I have OCD, am bi-polar, suffer from depression and severe social anxiety disorder. I have been in therapy for nine years and my doctor saved my life. Depression is not just “being in a bad mood.” It’s a feeling of all other options running out and desperation. It makes suicide seem logical (as illogical as that may seem). So how did I do my job, be successful at it, and hide it from everyone? It started with alcohol. It gave me the courage to walk in a room, size people up, and own it. At an event I would continue to drink to feed the monster that wanted to come out. When that wasn’t enough I turned to drugs. Self medicating was the way I solved my problems before I found help. I was never a druggie in high school or college or in my early adult life but I can honestly say I became an addict. I have learned that addiction is a terrible disease and through the help of my therapist he has taught me how to control it and not let it control me.

I also found out that it’s okay to be scared. I don’t have all the answers to the tribulations we face in life but in 2015 I was in a coma for six days because I almost let that monster inside of me win. That was rock bottom for me. For the past seven years I have concentrated on fixing myself. For some reason God has let me survive to fulfill a specific mission that I have yet to discover. I have been blessed to actually see what awaits us. That first night in my coma the doctors were sure I would not see the morning. I truly am someone that got a second chance and that, among other reasons, is why I have decided to go home to Cleveland. It is my sincere hope that others that may have these feelings know they are not alone. My mom says I tell everyone everything and have no filter. She is correct but no one can appreciate the success without tasting the failure. Every new day is a blessing and there is no guarantee. Thank you for reading this and remember “never give up.”

I used to be a yeller. I would yell at just about everyone and everything. Someone would disagree with me and I would raise my voice. Someone would yell at me and I would be sure to yell back. Someone would cut me off in traffic and I would be sure to yell in anger (now I just flip them off). Recently I had an epiphany: yelling really affects your credibility.

There are three good reasons not to yell:

It takes too much energy. I look at energy as fuel in your tank and yelling just burns too much gas.

If someone yells at you and you take a deep breath, pause and respond with “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what you were saying because you were yelling.” That makes them look like what they truly are; an asshole.

Yelling leads to anger. Think of all the times you made bad decisions in your life. Chances are it was preceded by you yelling and then followed by making a bad judgment. The only exception I can think of is years ago doing too many shots of patron and waking up to see two female tundra twins making ham sandwiches in my kitchen while passing a crack pipe.

When is the last time that yelling lead to a positive result? Yelling at a loved one makes you feel bad afterwards. Yelling at your spouse or better half usually leads to a slap in the face or at the very least a slamming of a door. Yelling at a cop will never get you out of a ticket and yelling at a water park while making balloon animals and wearing clown makeup will get you arrested. Perhaps the latter was not the best example.

Life is too short. Realize there are a lot of stupid people in this world and try laughing at them instead of yelling at them. I may not be the smartest person in the world but it’s amazing how people will suddenly view you as a superior intellectual just because you don’t react to adversity by raising your voice. So this week try to remain calm, cool and collected or I may just have to yell at you.