Starting periods

If you're trying to work out when your daughter's periods might start, think
back to when you started - this can be a good indicator, going by anecdotal
evidence from Mumsnetters.

Signs that periods are about to start

Budding breasts are a sign your daughter's first period is one to two
years away

A whitish or yellowy discharge is a sign that a period isn't far off

Some girls report tummy aches in the months leading up to their first
period and you may notice a semi pre-menstrual pattern

Talking to your child about periods

Many posters on Mumsnet have already spoken to their children (especially
their daughters) about periods before they get to pre-teen age. Some have an
'open bathroom policy' so children see their mother's tampons and/or sanitary
towels, ask questions, and get straightforward and honest answers.

It's important to talk to your child about periods well
ahead of the stage when it might actually happen. There's always at least one
girl who starts early, and if your child doesn't know what's going on, she
might get misinformed.

Starting periods are covered in school in Year 5, so ask your child what
she's been told, talk it all through and answer any questions.

What happens once periods start?

It's common for periods to be irregular at first. Suggest
your daughter keeps some panty liners and spare knickers in her bag whenever
she's out, so she won't be caught out if her period starts unexpectedly.

Everyone is different, but the majority of girls/women
menstruate every 28 days (though anything between 26 and 34 days is
'normal').

Periods typically last between three to seven days, and
usually the heaviest flow is on days two and three.

Can pre-teen girls use tampons?

Yes they can, say many Mumsnetters. Some report having used them themselves
from virtually their first period.

Mums whose daughters have been through this stage suggest getting your
daughter to practise inserting tampons when they aren't having a period; and
they suggest leaving a selection of different sorts of towels and tampons (such
as with and without applicators) in the bathroom so your daughter can try out
different options.

Period pants

Pre-teen and teen periods can be unpredictable and heavy. Period pants with secret waterproof panesl can remove
your daughter's dread of embarrassing leaks.

What about period pains?

Many girls have pain-free periods, especially in the early months. But if
your daughter says it's painful, suggest she tries holding a hot water bottle
by her tummy or back. Exercise can also help. Some Mumsnetters recommend
camomile tea or raspberry leaf tea.

If it's too much, use painkillers, but remember that children under 16
shouldn't use aspirin because of the risk of Reyes syndrome. If necessary, you
can alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen - ask your pharmacist for more
information.

Some women strongly recommend seeing a doctor if your teenager is suffering
from severe period cramps, as it can be a symptom of endometriosis.

What Mumsnetters say about their daughters and
periods

I encourage my daughter to make sure that she's always got her 'period
bag' (with tampons, spare pants, etc) in her bag to be ready for for when it
next happens. cyrilsneer

Make sure your daughter can discreetly get towels or tampons from
wherever they are stored without everybody in the house having to know. I
will never understand why my mum kept them all in a cupboard on the landing,
so you had to go in there and then sneak into the bathroom if you were
painfully shy about the whole business (which I was). IsItMeOr

My daughters knew about periods long before they started them, but it's
still a shock for them when they start. You have to answer their questions at
an age-appropriate level and be led by the questions as to how much they want
to know at that time. Children build up ideas over many months and years, so
you don't need to tell them everything in one go, just tell them the bits
they want to know. duchesse

My daughter is in a small group of best friends and one girl has started
her periods (just turned 10). It's lovely as they do talk to each other about
puberty and their body changes. My daughter really likes it as it makes it
all see more normal. lexcat