How’s that fiscal cliff coming along? Not so well, if you’re listening to the Republicans on the Senate floor.

Rand Paul (R-KY) brought the shrillness to new heights today on the Senate floor, screeching about how y’all want to punish the rich “producers” and how you’d pay for it when you ruin the economy just because you wanted to get some rich people. Paul likened raising taxes on rich people to “drowning” them (a more specific version of “death by taxes”). Yes, you are killing rich people out of pure spite.

Really, you should be thanking a rich person, he lectured. He bordered on hysteria, seeing the ever more likely scenario that yes, rich people might have to pay a smidge of a bit more in taxes next year. He is very disappointed in your lack of sympathy for the rich. Mean American citizens.

Rand Paul wants y’all to get serious, and by serious he means Obama phones, which he referenced as he lectured Democrats on their lack of seriousness (free stuff! moochers). The Senator finds great gravity in right wing conspiracies, but no gravitas in discussions about the fiscal cliff if they involve raising taxes on the much maligned, put-upon rich people. (Cutting children off of food stamps? Now that’s our serious House Republicans at work for American taxpayers.)

Anyone who isn’t rich is not “productive”: You just want to take money from the “productive” people and give it to yourselves, Rand condemned. You will pay for this because the economy will plummet. Do you feel better now, you spiteful 98%?!

John Thune (R-South Dakota) revved the hysteria before Rand, opining with increasing volume about how this is all the Senate’s fault and they haven’t passed a budget in three years (translation: he’s blaming Democrats for the House’s failure). Thune is pretending he isn’t aware of Article 1 in the Constitution. The budget is technically the House’s job, though the Senate and President submit a budget proposal indicating what they will support. No one ever asks a Republican why they keep shoving the doomed Ryan budget down our throats.

Both Paul and Thune demonstrated their “seriousness” about the economy when they voted No on creating jobs for our veterans. How can we spend money on our veterans when there are rich people suffering?

Listening to Republicans on C-Span is like going to a tent revival where they’re selling snake oil for your salvation. With each strained screech, they remind us of the dangers of blind ideology. Drowning rich people? Really, Senator?

Oh, the fever! Be serious, nation. Obama phones!

NOTE: Live blogged: Quotes, transcript and video will be added as/if they become available.