Today, I cut my balls while shaving. They wouldn't stop bleeding, so I had to go about my day wearing a maxi pad. My girlfriend won't stop congratulating me on growing into a beautiful young woman. FML

What? And have the whole hospital staff laugh at him like his girlfriend did? When you shave your balls, you’re on your own — there’s no help in case of a mishap. That’s why it takes balls to shave balls!

I work in ED and have had people come in with the same chief complaint. Lets just say it is not a laughable matter since a story like this is considered tame and boring in comparison to other stuff (involving sexual parts of the body) we see.