Friday, October 30, 2015

Jonah Goldberg knows what it means to be authentically black in America

Jonah Goldberg expounded his impressive resume that he has built sitting on his expansive backside. Besides being a subject matter expert on Fascism, the Iraq War, the Pulitzer Prize Nominating Procedure, Neopotism, Special Forces Mission budget costs, Goldberg took time out to whitesplain what it takes to be an authentic African-American these days,

But what’s remarkable is that at no point in this conversation did anyone call attention to the fact that Carson is an African-American. One could argue that he’s even more authentically African-American than Barack Obama, given that Obama’s mother was white and he was raised in part by his white grandparents. In his autobiography, Obama writes at length about how he grew up outside the traditional African-American experience — in Hawaii and Indonesia — and how he consciously chose to adopt a black identity when he was in college. Meanwhile, Carson grew up in Detroit, the son of a very poor, very hard-working single mother.

I have one minor quibble with Goldberg because everyone he speaks to knows that President Obama was born in Kenyan, before his mother and ACORN secretly snuck him in to steal the Presidency of America, one can't get more African/American than that!

But, Jonah also offers up the ubiquitous conservative opener, "One Could Argue..." which is found in every right-wing screed that's going to be horribly offensive but, allows the bigoted writer to hide behind the plausible denial that it's not their argument but one could argue...

Jonah Goldberg is merely travelling down a long road lit by the fire of burning crosses in his whitesplaining of the authentic African-American experience. His comments echo the Post Civil War, whites such as Rev. George Alexander McGuire, who in 1903, stated African-Americans need to ruthlessly "ostracize such brutes in their own race" as he blamed the black community for the lynchings of blacks across the country.

Even today, most conservatives echo these sentiments, and blame the entire black populace, for the actions of "bad negroes" as they were once referred and offer up the "Politics of Respectability" as the way for blacks to avoid being murdered or racially profiled by Police Officers and slandered by bigots on Faux News.

As for Jonah, he's a paragon of the "white race". He championed the Phony Global War on Terror, with the express statements that he would never put his life on the line.

As for why my sorry a** isn't in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give -- I'm 35 years old, my family couldn't afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my a** is, er, sorry, are a few -- ever seem to suffice.

Undaunted with being a ChickenHawk Jonah showed his absolute hog-shit ignorance when asked about military missions when Piers Morgan asked him how much the Kill Bin Laden Mission cost.

Instead of admitting he has no idea because Jonah Goldberg never had any intention of going anywhere near the military, he pulled a number out of his expansive flabby chicken hawk ass.

Goldberg: It was a pretty cheap operation.

Morgan: How much does it cost?

Goldberg: It didn't cost --

Morgan: What's your idea of cheap?

Goldberg: Are we really going to do this sort of high school debating tactic crap?

Morgan: Yes. I'm curious what you think of what cheap means.

Goldberg: I would put it at – I don't know, $50 million, $40 million...

Morgan: Wow. And that's cheap in the Republican world?

The blubbering and blubbery Jonah retreated to the position he inherited from his mommy at the NRO, turned to Rich Lowry and cried about how mean Piers Morgan was to him. Rich Lowry dutifully declared him the winner, "Jonah Goldberg 1, Piers Morgan 0". The Right-Wing Alternate Reality Internet jumped to Jonah's defense and World Net Daily Writer David Limbaugh wrote,

After being waterboarded into answering, Jonah ventured a guess of $50 million, after which Morgan spent the next several minutes sputtering indignantly about how a Republican such as Goldberg could think $50 million is pocket change.

"I've visited your site before, and I want to tell you this isn't personal, but I don't like your smarmy comments and the way you conduct yourself..."- Blue Pit Bull

"Come back and post when you have some actual LIFE EXPERIENCE to tell us about, you callow and craven ignoramus." - Bloviating Zeppelin

"...you do a good job describing the obvious in a form of intelli-rage that comes across fresh and to the point." - Gwendolyn H. Barry.

"I hate your blog, so when it appeared on my Wordpress' "incoming links" (for no apparent reason), I was all set to mock this entry, but I found nothing wrong with it whatsoever..." - Francois Tremblay

One last thing before I go. I made a CPD friend aware of your blog. He doesn't think you're genuine either but he's looking into you and your posts. But whatever the case he's looking for you and if he finds you he wants for all of your colleagues to see your blog and where you stand on the issues. Later homie! - ChickenHammer