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Rihanna and her new baseball player beau Matt Kemp's relationship has been heating up – poolside, actually – as the new couple have been spotted vacationing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, together. But what attracted the Los Angeles Dodger to the R&B diva?

Who knows?

Neither have spoken out about their burgeoning romance, though that hasn't stopped people from speculating. In a new parody video on Funny or Die, Kemp – well, an actor playing Kemp – says the attraction is physical (but not that physical).

"I'm just looking for a chick with a dude's haircut that likes sharing umbrellas," the faux Kemp says, adding, "I'm drawn to women with whiny voices who wear clothes that show their nips."