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‘That’s not crack’ might not be a defense in trafficking case

In the opening scenes of “A Few Good Men,” as the story is introducing the bona fides of young Lt. Daniel Kaffee as a brash yet brilliant defense attorney, Kaffee is negotiating a potential plea deal with the prosecutor. His client is charged with possession of marijuana. The defense: it was oregano.

“What are you going to charge him with? Possession of a condiment?”

A silly scene, no doubt. But no matter how silly a scenario may seem in a film, it can happen.

Case in point: An Oneida, N.Y., woman named Jamie Tobin was arrested for suspected sale of crack cocaine. She could really have used Kaffee’s representation, because it wasn’t crack. Instead, she was duping crack addicts by selling them sheetrock.

As it turns out, Lt. Kaffee, there is a crime for that, at least in New York: selling an imitation controlled substance.

But think about it: Sheetrock is legal. So under this law, you take an item that is perfectly legal, tell someone it’s something illegal and ask them if they want buy some, and – voila! — you have turned the legal item into contraband.

However, I think it’s fantastic that New York state has a law that protects consumers of illicit drugs better than Michigan consumers are protected by the Consumer Protection Act.

Michigan has a similar law, although our law seems aimed at imitation prescription drugs, an argument could be made that it might apply to a case like Tobin’s as well.