No I don't mean the Falklands conflict twenty one years ago.
I am fed up with the British armed forces adopting more and more civilian management/corporate jingoism. I have just spent half my day (well, ten minutes) filling out a form that anyone from Tescos would feel at home with. WTFITAA?????? I object to my terms of service being fu cked about with generally but really get psychotic about Civpop insisting that I tow the 'corporate' party line. I shall not go into great detail about this latest 'survey' but it brings me onto a general Flasheart whine mode. Having spent many a year surrounding myself with the great and the good in military circles outside UK, I now find myself back in blighty and I wish to do an Idi Amin, revolution, revolt.
I understand that the British Forces, mainland use the great unwashed as a large percentage of its man power but find it hard to believe how much they control how we operate. Large tail wagging a small dog (and getting smaller).
When I first joined up in the eighteenth century, I wanted to march up and down bits of tarmac, wear my beret in a jawnty fashion and expected the plebeians who hadn't had the opportunity to serve Queen and country to cover my path in freshly picked rose petals or at least be just the bottle washers in the cookhouse.
Not the case in this day and age. I am dictated to by some twenty four year old Corporate PR managerial assistant who tells me I should 'take on board the fundamental corporate management implementation theories devised by my executive think tank departmental managers' What? 'This will ensure the overall mission statement will be achieved from a non executive level up to executive level without an inward facing digression leading to all current legislation not being compromised enabling the work force to achieve its goals allowing ethnic and disadvantaged persons to integrate fully in producing a workable product (Ensuring all H & S factors/legalities are met) Like H&S really effects me, I fly Lynx!).
A mission statement in my day involved mission - kill the freaking enemy X2.

Am I an Allisaurous?

I signed on stating that I would do as I was told, when told because I believed it was the right thing to do, even if I got a bit annoyed/pi55ed off/killed in the process.
Do you you think I have case with the citizens advice beuro/Court of European human rights/any other muppet that thinks we are now an extension to Labour demilitarization PLC?
The thing that started today to mull this over in my pea brain was a department that I needed to visit 'To ensure my mission statement was achieved' was on a 'tea break'. Not a NAAFI break but a tea break. At least if I went to the CQMS's store at 10:15, I would be happy with being told to feck off until 10:30, but by a civi that spent 12 months in the armed forces 67 years ago, Flashy sense of humour faliure! Stop the ride, I want to get off. Come the revoloution, brothers..........

When I first joined up in the eighteenth century, I wanted to march up and down bits of tarmac, wear my beret in a jawnty fashion and expected the plebeians who hadn't had the opportunity to serve Queen and country to cover my path in freshly picked rose petals or at least be just the bottle washers in the cookhouse.
Not the case in this day and age. I am dictated to by some twenty four year old Corporate PR managerial assistant who tells me I should 'take on board the fundamental corporate management implementation theories devised by my executive think tank departmental managers'

Click to expand...

Spot on

Your blanket answer (out of ear shot of the brass of course) to these "advisors" (business advisors in my example) should be what mine has been since day 1 of leaving the Corps and starting my own business.

If you are so good at it, why are you advising me about it instead of doing it yourself? You would obviously be brilliant at it, as you have all of the answers and all of the strategies. If you are that good, you would be a millionaire businessman / Brigadier by now. I notice by your youth and lack of money / gold shit around the collar, that you have never actually achieved anything other than attending a course dictated by other equally inept people as to how I should ignore all of my experience and listen to what you say.

I can put hand on heart and honestly say that I have never listened to an "advisor" in my life. I have listened to peers, to more experienced soldiers, to successful businessmen, but never to an appointed advisor who has nothing but a poxy piece of paper to qualify their knowledge. Without wishing to blow my own bugle, this did me no harm in the mob and has made me moderately wealthy back in civpop.

WTF is the Army thinking about bringing these nobodies in, people who have probably never lived the life of a soldier and who do not even deserve to set foot through the camp gates?

PS, at the risk (hopefully) of offending the advisors, doing Sandhurst / Basic Training and then spending 3 years wet behind the ears at a regiment / battalion before p1sing off to civvie street does NOT qualify you to be an expert on the military. 8 or 9 years minimum and a captain or full screw (minimum depending on corps / regiment), well, perhaps then people might listen.