There’s volatility in the markets and in the Koreas; in Syria, Assad, with an assist from Putin, is deploying chemical weapons against civilians; in Washington, another government shutdown looms in the near term.

President Trump is planning a parade.

A parade.

Long obsessed with North Korean–style (he would say French) shows of military splendor, President Trump has ordered the Pentagon to get ready to roll tanks down the streets of Washington, D.C. “This is being worked at the highest levels of the military,” a defense official tells the Washington Post.

A parade.

My theory is that this is all about the stock market. Here is a business-and-fashion fact you may not know: Basically every brand of high-end sunglasses you’ve ever seen — from Ray-Ban to Prada to Persol to Oakley — is made by the same company: Luxottica, which also owns Sunglass Hut and several other optical retailers. One suspects that with Trump setting the tone in Washington, mirrored aviators are about to come back into style, bigly. Unfortunately, the markets for epaulets and those funny peaked caps are a bit less concentrated.