Best Yet Tomato
“It tastes like the canned soup I grew up with. It makes me want to crumble up crackers in it, watch Leave It to Beaver, cry, punch my brother, and stay home from school.”

(Photo: Hannah Whitaker)

Progresso Split Pea With Ham
“If you’re gonna can a soup, split pea is a pretty good bet. The mashed peas and salt work well in canned form, and the best way to deliver salt is through a ham hock.”

(Photo: Hannah Whitaker)

Whole Foods Chicken Noodle
“The noodles have a satisfying texture, and it has real hunks of chicken. In canned soup, simplicity works best. Simplicity and a lot of salt. This has so much salt it’s making my heart race.”

(Photo: Hannah Whitaker)

Progresso 99% Fat-Free Lentil
“They manage to make it look real, and lentils survive the rigors of canning better than most things. But it’s amazing how salty it is. And the lentils are too soft. They’ve probably been in there for ten years.”

(Photo: Hannah Whitaker)

Campbell’s Tomato
“This one’s definitely Campbell’s. It’s slightly watery, and has more bite than the other tomato soup, more of an umami taste. It’s immediately synthetic and metallic, but the finish is better.”