Monday, November 16, 2009

When I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and screaming, this is what the nightmare I was just having looks like. Eating off paper plates while standing and wearing lanyards, the two prongs on the serpent tongue of awkwardness:

the plates are not real -- they are just the "high quality" plastic plates that you can get at CostCo and other such fine venues. they have a nice gloss to them and look real-ish but are definitely plastic. we had the same ones at our wedding. probably bought them from the same CostCo, if it is in Boston.

katie if you ever go to miami you have to go to south beach and party crash... its all conferences of various professional groups... basically all like this. those cardiologists really know how to party!

Duff in Venice: lunch at academic conferences is always awkward; lanyards and paper plates make it worse. And don't forget the glass which you are obliged to hold in the same hand as your plate, while talking awkwardly with your peers.

Jeez, I feel an anxiety attack coming on just thinking about trying to balance a plate, purse strap+lanyard=choking, awkward conversation where you try your best to avoid answering "so what do you do?", etc. Nightmares, indeed!

I don't know if I'm alone in this paper plate standing situation, but somehow I always end up attempting the awkward "maybe I can use my leg as a 'table' if I lean up against something?"