Suss: May Sweeps Continue on Ja.ComTV

Survivor Redux is set to dominate tonight’s viewership, as it gives away another $1M (less taxes) in the ultimate second-chance, loser sweepstakes.

In their now bi-annual effort to suck that last bit of advertising revenue from the CBS geriatric pot, this all night affair starts with the usual clipfest and full cast trace-off.

Recognizing the folly of scheduling against this powerhouse (ei: money nuh run), JaComTV has tapped into the free webcam broadcast of Enchaunted DownUnder.

CAUTION: Viewer discretion advised. The management of JaComTV is not responsible for, nor has any control over the content of the program you are about to see. Any comments ei: complaints about questionable elements of this broadcast should be directed to [email protected] Thank you.

The camera comes into focus on a smiling Enchaunted, dressed in a white, flowing shepherdess’s frock, the dry, wind swept outback in the background.

Enchaunted: What's up you all?....just letting u all know that I finally arrived and safely. I’ve setup my laptop and satellite antenna just outside Murwillumbah near the Gold Coast area. The Tweet river is just over there. They tell me the ancient aborigine ritual Dijeridoo is gonna be performed here tonight.

Two black robed figures file past the camera to stand just behind Enchaunted. With heavy drums beating in the background, they simultaneously fling off their covering to reveal…. Wahalla and SweetBlack.

Waving his hand in the direction of the Tweet River, Wahalla chants in unison to the drumbeat…

Sporting white socks with black sandals…. and little else. *raise eyebrows*SweetBlack is also chanting to the drumbeat, a bottle of J&J baby powder in one hand and baby oil in the other, flinging it’s contents around in the air, sticking to bare skin and mixing into a pool on the ground around them.

SweetBlack: Believe inna cure… and the oil a love you, the oil a get him back, oil a mek me rich, oil a mek me pretty, oil a mek him ugly … and GW guh dead a bush.

The drumbeat is fast now and the chanting stops, as another figure emerges from the fuzzy background, into the camera’s view…

Suesumba come a bun two black cangle followed by SistahD billowing smoke from her incense burner and nailbun carrying a very large caldron which is set in front of Suesumba, who adds all the appropriate ingredients….

Then SistahD moves forward with a gallon jug of KANANGA water (it's Grace Grocery label blacked out with magic marker) and sprinkles it all around the caldron.

Thin wisps of smoke curl up, as the drums start again in a hypnotic rhythm, slowly at first, before quickly turning into a frantic beat….

The contents of the large caldron begins to bubble and out of it’s depths emerges Neutral looking very innocent wid halo above his head… dressed as Elvis in his later years… a pink rayon shirt open to his large silver belt buckle and black tight up tight up pants, outlining the large package wah squeeze up in the front gasping fi likkle breat