Tuesday, April 24, 2012

U Is For Umbrella

I have carried an umbrella around in my purse for years. It's small and black and I have been known to also carry a plastic grocery bag in my purse, to put the wet umbrella in, trying to protect the other purse inmates.

The years of purse living have not been kind to it. It has some tiny, pin prick holes from wear, that are slowly turning into bigger holes. The velcro is in a constant state of not quite sticking together. And sadly, the metal stem itself can not stay extended.

As I walk in the rain, it slowly slides back down so I have a six inch space from the handle to the umbrella canvas. I live in constant fear of my hair getting caught up in the inner workings of an umbrella hood.

Today as I was walking back to work, with the metal frame dangerously close to my hair, I thought I could just collapse the umbrella and put my hood up.

I could, but I do not like to have a hood on, mostly because it muffles sounds of approaching monsters and dolphin-bear gangs. Who wants to be caught unawares by that sort of thing? And also, you know, hood-hair. Similar to hat-hair, but a lot more static.

I carefully shake the rain off my well used umbrella, I store it under my desk at work to dry out, and at the end of the day I walk all the way outside, before I remember it.

It wasn't raining, but you never know here in the Pacific Northwest. I went back in, mostly secured the velcro, and tucked it back in my purse.

It's still got a little more life left in it and now a new purse pocket designed for water bottles, but perfectly fitted for one faithful, little black umbrella.

A student once observed me crossing campus beneath my umbrella. He was genuinely confused as he stopped me and stated, "Mr.O, my dad told me that real men don't use umbrellas." I asked him if he thought I was a real man, and he said, "Yes." I said, "Think about it, David. Real men, who do not want to get wet, do use umbrellas."

First, kudos for being grown-up enough to carrying a purse WITH AN UMBRELLA in it. My immature self is totally in awe right now.

Second, the ever-growing holes reminds me of a blanket we used to keep on the cedar chest at the end of our bed. There were little holes that gradually became bigger holes until finally, one night when the temperature dropped unexpectedly and I was whining to Hubby to get an extra blanket, he reached down for the one on the cedar chest and I said, "That's NOT a blanket. It's a hole with a little blanket around it."

Sounds like you're soon going to have a hole with a little umbrella around it. ;)

That's exactly how it's shaping up! I did get a new bag to hold my shoes, lunch, water bottle and umbrella as I walk to work. I only got it so I could walk with ease....but it is a Grown Up kind of bag!

About Me

I'm a wife of 22 years to a Coastie turned tugboat Engineer, mom to a 20 year old son, an 18 year old daughter, two spoiled rotten beagles, and one darling dachshund pomeranian. I'm a book addict, a gardener with a light green thumb, a coffee junkie, and I could eat pizza every day of my life and be fat but happy!