Saturday, June 11, 2011

Lucky Seven

That the 'that' isn't clear, doesn't matter much. All that matters is that that 'that' existed at all. I was going into the food court as the two of them were coming out. They seemed impossibly young. This is happening to me more and more as I get older. young people get younger. they were maybe 10, maybe 15, maybe 8, who can tell anymore? To hazard a guess, they were around 10 years, 7 months.

I only over heard one thing. It changed my day. The girl, I hesitate to use that word as one of my female friends, years ago, sent out a birth announcement for her 'bouncing baby woman,' said to her friend, 'I hope to do that one day!' I didn't hear her friend's reaction because I was well past them. I was even further along when what she said, and the significance of it hit me hard. I pulled to a stop.

Those seven simple words, accidentally overheard, reached deep down inside me. All that happened was that a young girl chatting with her friend, walking beside her as she rolled nonchalantly along. But it was what she said. It was those seven words. 'I hope to do that one day.' Seven words that indicated that she owned her future, that she had marked out her own path and had claimed her destination.

Two adjectives, female, disabled, now only modify a none, not a future.

It's been a long journey to get here, I live in the lifetime when my Grandmother did not have the vote in Canada. But, wherever we were, here we are now. A place where seven words of hope and of promise and of power, can be said.

True, we are not at the destination, but as a way station, this will do, for now.

When I was much younger and the feminist movement was fighting battles on every front (not that there aren't still a lot of battles) there was a push to stop calling women 'girls'. Women, rightfully, wanted to claim adulthood and wanted language to reflect that. At the same time the expression used at the birth of a child was either a 'bouncing baby boy' or a 'bouncing baby girl' as the case may be.

The post is really about the fact that this young person, who had both a disability and was female, seemed to have unlimited dreams, not dreams that were blinkered because of disability or gender. That idea excites me.

We have come a long way and have a long way to go. I was going to say "on both fronts" (gender and disability) but really aren't they one and the same front with all the other devalued groups - isn't this about belonging for everyone? Thanks for the eloquent reminder of the importance of dreams and expectations.

thank you for the explanation, so I guess I got the message of your post quite right.

I am so glad that we have come such a long way today. If I needed to draw a picture of all my friends it would be as colorfull and lovely as a picture of picasso.

All my friends have hopes and dreams, are able to voice them and allowed to try to achive them in every way; disabeld, foreign, gay, people are people.

And I too were/am allowed to dream everything I want to. Due to my congenital heart disease it medical seems to be impossible for me to have children. But no one destroyed my dreams and my hopes. In my 20th I talked to my cardiologist about my wish to have a child and he just told me, that we would see to the issue when it would occoure.

Later my godmother told me, that she would be a surrogat mother for me if I could not carry my own pregnancy. This part of dream of life for a woman was never taken from me and kept me more easy and safe in the relation to my body.

Unfortunatly just during the last years I really learned to love myself enough to think about a healthy relationship. I still havent found a man I can think of being in a relationship with.

Finally I get used to the idea of staying alone (I am 37 now). But I was not denied dreaming and everybody would have helped my dreams come true when I was younger.

Not everyone lives in such a loving surrounding where the dreams are kept alive. I know it and I appreciate that I did.

Some of my friends learn to make their dreams come true through me. One of my friends was born to early, one half of her body is spastic (translation?) because I learned to swim, she tried it too and loves it now.

Disability Pride

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This blog is dedicated, in part, to Neuengamme prisoner 28631.

About Me

Joe and I live in an apartment right smack dab in the center of Toronto. I have worked in the field of disability since graduating from university over 30 years ago. I became disabled a few years ago now and use a wheelchair when out in the world. For those interested, most of my books are available through www.diverse-city.com and if you are wishing to book a lecture or consultation you may do so by emailing daveandjoe@hotmail.com

Best Health Blog 2010

Requiem

There are those who have affected the course of my work and my career. I wish to remember them here:

Stella Young

Manuela Dalla Nora

Bob Clayton

Viktor Frankl

Robert Sovner

Marsha Forrest

Terry Haslam

John Money

Susan Tough

Sol Gordon

Winnifred Kempton

I believe that we should speak often and well of those who passed our way and whose lives gifted us. Here in this space I wish to memorialize those whose lived lives in service to those with disabilities.