Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Yesterday afternoon I was seeing a lady who'd called for an emergency work-in for her back pain.

Dr. Grumpy: "So, how did you hurt your back?"

Mrs. Snob: "My cleaning woman left me. Just left me. I've had the same cleaning woman for 10 years. So on Sunday I had to clean the whole damn house myself. And I wrenched my back. I've always had a bad back, that's why I have a cleaning woman. Then, yesterday, my husband and I were at a funeral, and there was no place to sit. You'd think they could have chairs or something. And standing for the whole thing made my back even worse."

Wow. I bet that cleaning lady is thanking her lucky stars that she escaped Mrs. Snob. Holy hell.

P.S. Found you through a twitter link yesterday and have been thoroughly entertained in your archives since. I really enjoy your perspective! And snark. Maybe I'll even learn how to be a better patient myself. At least not one that puts my foot in my mouth.

"There were three quarters missing from the little change dish on the kitchen counter, and I was going to ask the cleaning woman about them when she came back the next week, only she didn't come back because she died. So I thought the funeral would be a good opportunity to just check her pockets quickly, only I couldn't because it was closed casket and they wouldn't let me open it even though I told them I'd close it again as soon as I checked her pockets. All of her relatives that I asked during the service claimed that they didn't know anything about the quarters, and her daughter was very rude when I asked if I could go to her house and look through her things to see if I could find them. I don't know what these people are trying to hide, which is why I reported them to the FBI."

You are a man of many talents. Forget Grumpy---the new dwarf in the group is SNARKY!!!

REALLY, ever thought of making a living in Vegas at the poker tables. Because you've got to have the straightest poker face known to mankind to be able to DEAL day in/day out with these village idiots.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.