Hey!
It's Loretta Jenkins again.
Spoutin' out some just say no
Nancy Reagan-PSAness up in this shizzle.
Listen up all y'all dumb motherfuckers
out there what's still out there doin' drugs
that ya gotta shoot up in ya to get high with.
HEY!
I'm talking to you!
What is wrong with you?
You a scourge.
Tisk! Tisk!
Now that marijuana gettin' all legalized
like I prophesized…
Ain't y'all noticed everything I say come true?
Told y'all Ize the messiah!
So now that the veil has been lifted
and all that crazy shit talk
about how marijuana be all bad for you
and shit.
We lifted up the veil and found
there's this new designer Russian drug
what's sweepin' across our whole country already!
What is it?
Can't remember what the name,
but I give myself-
(singing)
Laaaaa…..
I remember when rock was young.
Laaaa…La La La La Laaaa.
Krokodil!
See I'm fightin' dementia,
and I have to come up with ways
to remember on what I was thinkin' about.
Somebody said it's all what you put in your body
and I was like, "Hey! You don't know me."
Damn that must be some good shit
where you take it and you don't give a fuck
what your skin's fallin' off.
Shit. Have y'all seen that shit
on your newsfeed?
What them Krok addicts looks like?
It's disgustin'!
I will unfollow any bitch
what post that nasty shit.
I don't need to see that no time of day.
Now I wonder what kind of urge is it
that give a folk the instinct
what he wanna give himself leprosy.
Is that the new crazy nowadays?
Oh this shit has morphine in it!
No wonder it's gettin' so popular.
That is the onliest thing
that's better than dick and beer.
You know it's true, bitches!
Klank-Klank!
Okay here how you do it.
First off, you gotta melt down a krok,
you know, one of them ugly ass shoes.
And you melt that down
and you mix it up with some
Everclear or some Kerosene.
You cook that shit up on a spoon-
Shit, it's called some kind
of fancy-ass process.
I don't know the Breakin' Bad terminology.
Anyhow they suck that shit up in a needle
and they jeck it in they neck
or in they eyeballs
or 'tween they toes,
up in they ass lips.
Who the fuck know what they do?
It's above my comprehension.
Why would you do this to yourself?
I mean shit, what?
What are ya' retarded?
How bad has your life got to be
for you inject yourself with some
goddamn crocodile juice?
And go ahead and make
your skin look like that?
Motherfuckers musta been ugly to begin with.
They don't never show they face
in the pictures.
But I'd be embarrassed.
Hey, here a list of some people
I think we could get hooked on that Krokarilla.
Every privileged celebrity
I already done a HISI on…
Oh yeah,
folks asked me on Twitte
what I think about that acto
that died with a needle stuck in him?
I don't never watch none of his movies.
It ain't like he famous
like Will Farrell or Burt Reynolds.
But lemme ask you somethin'…
How come it take a dead celebrity
for the P.I. Pigs to do they job
and start crackin' down on drug dealers?
I KNOW!
Cause TMZ follow the po-po around
and now they can't do all this
underhand drug dealings
and profit off these drug busts
like they always was doin'.
Every one of them boys in blue
is as crooked as a dick that hits the spot.
They found like 50 bags of heroin
in that dude's place, y'all.
I'm sick of coddlin' these assholes.
That there ain't no accidental overdose.
It's a goddamn suicide.
You say what you want.
I'll give you my thoughts
on addiction in another HISI.
But anybody that's got that much
to party with…
They are closin' the doors on life
and you know I'm right.
This first phase on this new War on Drugs
started back there with the bath salts.
Y'all remember!
I done talked about that.
And now we killin' alligators
to get high on?
This must be the drug they found
by lickin' frogs and trippin' balls.
I mean why we got to have new drugs?
What was wrong with the old ones?
I am a traditionalist.
Liquor, smokes and dick…
And weed…
And caffeine…
ANd maybe a little bit of coke on New Years
but hell, who ain't never done that?
Cheers.
Ooh, Brainstorm!
Somebody need to develop a line
of cosmetics for these Krokodil crackheads.
Damn. Where my idea pad at?
I'm always havin' these billion dolla
Shark Tank inventions
but before I can get them writ down
goddamn it's gone-
See!
It is gone!
This is why I'm so fuckin' broke!
I can't remember my genius.
That ever happen with you?
(burps)
Well that's How I Seize It.