“One day the Angels chased down an apparent drug offender, slammed him so hard to the sidewalk his head was cut open, and proceeded to handcuff him. They let up just long enough for the alleged perpetrator to show his police badge. Shortly thereafter, the Angels all but disbanded in San Francisco.”

Friday September 24th 2010, we the San Francisco Guardian Angels will be doing a night patrol at Dolores Park tonight. The reason for this patrol in this area is the parties. At our headquarters we were getting in calls and reports about the drugs, the drinking, and the fighting, that has been going on in this area.”

Now, can I go and patrol D.P. if I want to as well? Really?

“Next we march on, we march around the park, we march through the park, it was not as bad as we thought it would be. Or maybe the word had got out that the angels where coming into this area, who knows. The highlight of the night was pouring out beers for drinking in public, but that’s OK because these bad guys respected us for doing it, they knew this was breaking the law. Well J.D. is calling it a night, there is not much else that can be done in this area.”

Our Guardian Angels enforce open container laws? Really? I’d like to see them try to pour my beer out. Srsly.

“We do get to our stop at 16th street BART STATION, we get on bus #14, we get to our stop at 6th street. But as we where a block away from our stop a gang banger jump on the bus for free, we look at this guy real good, and as soon as we got to our stop we asked the guy to get off the bus with us and he did. We then hand cuff this guy, we then search this guy, but this guy was our second in command (Scorpion). He really tried to pull one on us, but we showed him because we were ready for anything.”

Our Guardians Angels can go around searching and handcuffing people? Really? What’s next – are they going to start scanning Clipper Cards and asking for proof of payment on MUNI?

Now, back in colledge, they learned us about the criminal law – but not California’s per se, just generic, 50-state law. Anyway, off the top of my head, let’s see here, our GA’s need to worry about possible civil and criminal liability for: