There’s a handy tool on the Transportation Safety Administration’s web site, where you can fill in the following blank with whatever you’d like to take with you on a plane: “When I fly, can I bring my _____?” The TSA will tell you whether or not it’s fine to have your best friend Mark with you or even a pair of short scissors. But a stun gun? Nope, not even if it’s pink. [More]

If you’re upset with the parking ticket you’ve just received, it’s rarely a good idea to rip it up. It’s certainly a bad idea to rip that ticket up in front of the police officer who just wrote it. Ask the pregnant Chicago woman who says police used a stun gun on her after she tore up her citation.

Make of this what you will, as the story comes from the Reverend Sun Myung Moon’s church-owned Washington Times and may be more fiction than fact, but “a senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser.” Yes, the EMD Safety Bracelet from Lamperd Less Lethal is designed to make flying a fun experience once again. Just check out everything it can do:

Take the place of an airline boarding pass.

Contain personal information about the traveler.

Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage.

Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes.

We are clearly a nation that treasures the concept of safety, because Taser International, Inc. reported a 150% increase in sales from last year that’s due almost entirely to its redesigned consumer model, which now looks more like an electric shaver instead of a gun and comes in pink, blue, silver, or black. The company plans to start airing an infomercial later this year, so look for that on those late nights in December when all the Christmas programming has got you down.