Meta: It’s been just over 10 years since we lost the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin. Gone, but not forgotten, today we look at his top 5 funniest moments.

Bernard Dupont

In 2006, while filming a new animal documentary, Australian adventurer Steve Irwin was struck across the chest by a stingray. The freak fatal blow stopped his heart off the coast of Port Douglas, Queensland. His great love for animals was evident in everything he did and most of us still remember the way he’d yell “Crikey!”. November 15 has been dubbed Steve Irwin day in remembrance of his life and legacy, which is now carried on by his family.

While getting up close and personal with an eastern bearded dragon, Steve Irwin got attacked by the tiny lizard. Admittedly, the creature was already in its defensive stance and had given the animal lover fair warning.

Animal fact! These animals can change their gender depending on the temperature.

Although Steve Irwin might be best known for handling some of the world’s most dangerous animals, like the Inland Taipan, he’s also been chased by some less exciting creatures. One such prime example is the cassowary. Start watching at 0.11 to see Steve unsuccessfully running away from the bird.

Animal fact! Cassowaries are the heaviest birds in Australia, so don’t let one sit on you.

This piece of footage was dug out of the Crocodile Hunter archives because it was too funny not to be shared. While Steve Irwin tries to introduce the large bird it mercilessly pecks him. However, unlike many of his other animal interactions, this one was not a form of attack. Instead, the brolga mistook Steve as one of its own companions and was helpfully trying to preen him! Start watching from 0.54 to see just how many takes it took to get the perfect shot!

Animal fact! The brolga crane has a very elaborate courtship display that involved dancing with their wings spread open.

From poisonous snakes, overeager Kangaroos and angry birds to dangerous crocodiles and bearded dragons with uneasy bladders, Jay Leno was subject to it all. We think that the talk show host must have eventually tired of being frightened out of his wits because eventually other tv personalities were invited for one-on-one time with animals instead.

Be it a boat, a vine or even a tree, Steve seems to have generally had better luck with animals. These clips were dug out of his personal archives for your viewing pleasure

10 facts about the crocodile

He wasn’t the Crocodile Hunter for no reason. It was Steve Irwin’s favourite animal! But here are a few facts about this powerful predator that you might not have known!

There’s no outswimming a crocodile. Their powerful tails propel them forward at 40 kilometres per hour! Even the great Michael Phelps has only clocked a maximum speed of 9.6 kilometres per hour.

Crocodiles often sit on river banks with their mouths ajar. This is neither friendly nor aggressive, they’re just cooling off! Crocodiles sweat through their mouths.

They can’t chew! Instead, all 24 of their razor-sharp teeth are meant for biting and crushing. Therefore, crocodiles often swallow rocks to help grind their food inside their stomachs.

Crocodiles have stars in their eyes. Not literally, but they do have eye crystals that reflect moonlight and starlight! This evolutionary trait has given them one of the best night vision capabilities in the animal kingdom.

The phrase ‘crocodile tears’ refers to fake crying and was inspired by the myth that reptiles cry when they eat human flesh. Today we know that it’s because when they eat, air is forced through their sinuses, resulting in foaming of the tear ducts in their eyes.

The saltwater crocodile has been known to attack and kill sharks! Coincidentally, a saltwater crocodile named Bindi was Steve Irwin’s favourite animal. She lives at Australia Zoo in Queensland.

Crocodiles might look like logs, but they can strike vertically. Their tails are a mass of powerful muscles that can propel them directly out of the water! They can also climb up to the canopy of trees! So, if you’re ever being chased by a croc, don’t head for a tree!

Quirky facts about Steve Irwin

Steve caught his first crocodile at the age of 9 and has been around animals all his life!

The first episode of the Crocodile Hunter was of Steve and Terri on their honeymoon, catching crocodiles.

His daughter Bindi Sue was named after his two favourite animals, Bindi the Crocodile and Sui the Staffordshire bull terrier.

There is a species of snapping turtle named Steve Irwin, in his honour.

Steve has purchased and dedicated large pieces of land in Australia, Vanuatu, Fiji and the United States to endangered species and wildlife.

The flagship of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is called the MY Steve

All we can say today is that Australia is even prouder of you Steve, may you rest in peace.

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/11/01/9256-2/feed/0bantaa91Salted-Lobster-Piehttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/27/salted-lobster-pie/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/27/salted-lobster-pie/#respondMon, 27 Aug 2018 11:24:01 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11144Far away from planet Earth,
beyond the stellar rim,
there lived a race of aliens
known for being somewhat dim.

Though advanced, to us at least,
their ways were quite bizarre.
Each muttered simple melodies
and played a brass guitar.

It didn’t stop and that, oh no,
they also liked to cook.
Their curried-mammal-gizzard-stew
was likely worth a look.

All was going swimmingly,
they danced to jarring beats.
Until a day of lousiness
when blood ran in the streets.

A fateful day of tragedy;
a reckoning that came.
And after which these pleasant folk
would never be the same.

It started with a messenger
who came down from the sky.
He offered them a recipe
of salted-lobster-pie.

A single glance was quite enough,
they pined for arthropods.
Such wondrous tastes could only be
the nectar of the Gods!

Alas their holy appetite
came at an awful price.
They’d have to trade their solitude;
their slice of paradise.

The Decapods of Mollusk-9
descended on the land.
They swept it clean of everything
except for worthless sand.

The locals couldn’t comprehend
exactly what occurred.
It seemed their trade of natural wealth
was not as they preferred.

Appealing to their empathy,
they parlayed for truce.
Unfortunately instead they tied
themselves the final noose.

A masochist genocide
began right there and then.
Until the locals numbered
barely more than nine or ten.

No one now recalls its name,
that planet far away.
And as for those who called it home,
there’s nothing left to say.

– J.S.Worth

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/27/salted-lobster-pie/feed/03B51F550-A4D5-4310-B0AD-CC7E03B03A9Fjsworth90The Friendly Goblinhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/the-friendly-goblin/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/the-friendly-goblin/#respondSun, 26 Aug 2018 00:00:07 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11141A goblin is a nasty beast,
they’re green and full of greed.
You’d best avoid them earnestly
if you can spell ‘misdeed’.

But not all goblins are the same,
some may be even kind.
There’s one at least unlike the rest
who’s graciously inclined.

A jolly and lighthearted chap,
he plays a merry tune.
As courteous as you could wish,
more than you might presume.

It isn’t clear exactly why
he’s different from his brood.
His mother was a swindler;
his father just as rude.

Perhaps it was an accident
back when he was a grot.
His brother threw him off a bridge
into a lake of snot.

T’was there he found philosophy;
a new outlook on life.
He’d rather live more generously
than those who gave him strife.

And so he sought more civil lands,
departing Goblin-Town.
He bid farewell his family-clan
who thought he was a clown.

He wandered through the wilderness,
a forest dark and grim.
Until he came across a hut
as quaint as elves are slim.

He knocked upon the wooden door
and waited for reply.
He hoped they’d give him sustenance,
his mouth was parched and dry.

A minute passed, and then again
he rapped upon the door.
When no one came he turned around
and this is what he saw…

A fellow stood in front of him,
a brave and daring knight.
Within his hand he held a lance
which sparkled in the light.

“Good sir, I wonder if might
make but a small request?
I’ve journeyed far throughout the day,
and sorely need a rest.”

At first the knight seemed startled by
this cordial little pest,
but then recalled his prejudice
and stabbed him through the chest.

The goblin lay in agony,
blood dripping to the floor.
He wondered how it came to this,
and then he thought no more.

Dear reader, you may ask yourself
how humans came so far.
The answer though may disappoint,
that’s just the way they are.

– J.S.Worth

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/the-friendly-goblin/feed/091038C08-7067-4E97-A81A-7493DE17FD68jsworth90King of the Skyhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/king-of-the-sky/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/king-of-the-sky/#respondSat, 25 Aug 2018 15:09:35 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11136A long time ago
before wind or the snow
before horses could run
there was only the Sun.

Although he was bright
and oh, quite a sight
he had reason to moan
poor old Sun was alone.

The King of the Sky
who ruled nothing nearby,
just a lonely old star
looking out, ever far.

He’d give up his glow
and his crown, don’t you know?
He’d give all, no pretend
if it found him a friend.

So he lifted his chin
and he twirled with a spin,
spreading warmth out behind
leaving planets, aligned.

The first was too hot,
not a little; a lot!
And the second was too,
but the third, it was blue.

And so Sun earned a break
for no blot or mistake
could he see in sunlight
on this pearl, oh so right.

He gleamed down below
at his planet-combo,
soon relieving his itch
and that last blanket stitch.

For he saw on the land
a strange fellow in-hand
with a womanly gal
who both raised his morale.

So the King found his flock
who he watched round the clock,
never breaking his gaze
from their quaint simple ways.

Until came a day
when he saw to dismay
that his friends were caput,
merely piles of soot.

Sun wallowed in grief
for it beggared belief
that his work was undone,
once again, he was one.

– J.S.Worth

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/26/king-of-the-sky/feed/09D28529C-5621-4A59-9C19-60B4DCCECD6Djsworth90Day 6: Retiredhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/24/day-6-retired/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/24/day-6-retired/#respondFri, 24 Aug 2018 09:23:08 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11133It was a day like any other. For T-117, that meant good hunting. His latest capture now resided within his jaws, as he referred to the inbuilt containment unit within his craft; plucked from above as she attempted to flee in a fit of self-delusion.

Her companions, a male and female pair had eluded capture for the time-being but T-117 had not lost track of them. He had alerted a pair of hound-units to their location the moment they entered an underground transportation terminal. They would join their comrade soon enough.

For now his task was to deliver his cargo to the sector holding facility where she would be processed. He knew little about those operations outside his jurisdiction, and the facility was as much a mystery to him as any other. He had delivered dozensof specimens in the past day or more but their fate was entirely unknown to him.

This lack of closure was a constant source of frustration. T-117 had grown attached to these creatures in his own way, another of his many design flaws unintended by his breeders. He had learned to track them; hunt them; toy with them, and then somewhere along the way he had also come to love them.

‘Love’ was perhaps too strong a word in their language, but to T-117 it was love as best he could know. Such emotions were not of his kind; primitive notions more common to the less-developed species which inhabited the galaxy. To them, his obsession might have been regarded as dependence. It was these bipedal anthropoids who gave his existence purpose and meaning. Without them, what was he?

T-117 was fast-approaching his destination, flying high above the desolate city-scape. The holding facility itself was located near to the city centre, a massive block of obsidian-black material purpose-built for Phase Two of the invasion. Phase Two had been when T-117’s protocols had first been activated, and his life’s purpose began.

The fact that he was no more than two Earth-days old might have seemed strange to a casual observer, along with a great many other things concerning his kind. T-117 was unperturbed though. Units went through regular cycles of activation and then retirement when they became obsolete or redundant.

The thought of his inevitable demise was of no particular concern to T-117 as it might have been to a more primitive species. When the day came, his organic and inorganic parts would be broken down and recycled into a new unit to better serve the whole. Such was the design of the Breeders. They had their role to play, and he had his. There was no purpose in resisting the Great Plan in the name of misguided sentiments for the individual. Whether it should be a millennium or a single day, all must serve.

His sensors detected movement in his containment unit. The captive was awake and restless. Not to matter, he would administer another dose of sedative to quiet her. Although she had no hope of escape, his superiors preferred that specimens be delivered unharmed and he would not risk his damaging itself in a futile effort to resist.

Suddenly something triggered his alert protocols; an anomalous energy signature detected below. He descended rapidly through the cloud cover to better locate the source. His delivery could wait. This took precedent. His scanners quickly determined the location of the anomaly. In the middle of a street which ran between two still-standing towers, a small but powerful transmitter radiated like a beacon.

T-117 moved in closer to inspect the device which had piqued his curiosity. It was not of human origin, that much was clear, but how had it come to be here? There were no ongoing operations in this area, and his superiors would not tolerate such a device being misplaced, yet here it was.

Just then his sensors detected another energy source, this time from one of the structures adjacent to the street. His craft spun in place to better observe this new disturbance. There in one of the broken windows of the building stood a male of the local species.

Impossible! T-117’s computational mind could not at first comprehend the scene before him. His detective capabilities were top-of-line-line and the natives possessed no technology capable of cloaking themselves from his sensors, unless… T-117 realised too late the trap they had set for him – the transmitter had been the bait along with whatever other stolen technology they possessed and he had fallen straight into their ambush.

The man in the window raised a large weapon over his shoulder and T-117 immediately recognised it for what it was. The slug-based armaments which the invasion force had initially come into contact with posed no real threat, but this was entirely different. T-117 attempted to send out an alert to any nearby units but found that his communication systems were likewise blocked.

The weapon discharged in an explosive burst of energy which enveloped T-117’s outer hull. The effect was instantaneous. The craft listed to the left as it experienced a complete systems failure before free-falling the ground in a thunderous crash which shattered the pavement below.

The intent of the weapon was to disable, not to destroy, and now T-117 lay helpless to the whims of the hostile locals; easy pickings to be salvaged for whatever other weapons and technology they desired.

T-117 had been retired.

to be continued…

– J.S.Wortg

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/24/day-6-retired/feed/0DC110176-8B28-40A3-AF71-F3CB8AAA3530jsworth90Day 4: My Name is Simonhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/23/day-4-my-name-is-simon/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/23/day-4-my-name-is-simon/#respondThu, 23 Aug 2018 12:20:52 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11130He awoke with a start, gasping for air. It was dark. ‘Where am I?’ he thought to himself. He became aware that he was lying down on something cold and hard. He tried moving but found himself unable to, although he could not feel anything restraining him. In fact he couldn’t feel anything below the neck at all.

Panic started to seep into his mind with growing intensity. ‘Help!’ he tried to scream, though his words were but a horse whisper. He struggled to crane his head sideways but that too was impossible.

A blinding light appeared above him and he was forced to shut his eyes. Then it began. At first he heard a mechanical whirring noise from somewhere close by. He tried squinting through the blazing spotlight above him and could barely make out the silhouette of a figure looming over his immobile form.

It loomed closer just as his eyes were beginning to adjust to the light until its face was mere inches from his own – that face. He wanted to recoil in horror but all he could muster was a stifled groan of anguish.

Glowing red pin-point eyes leered from an inhuman head; pale skin stretched tight across to give the appearance of a skull. To his horror he saw that the thing possessed no mouth, but rather the lower half of its face appeared to be entirely mechanical. Wires and finger-like contraptions protruded from beneath the base of its seemingly organic half where they twisted and writhed as if trying to escape.

To his relief, the creature pulled back from its examination, and yet his torment was only just beginning. A spider-like mechanism lowered into view, its spindly arms affixed with all manner of torturous devices; needle-like implements, cutting tools, and surgical saws whirred to life.

As the creature’s work began, the agonised cries of its captive filled the room only to fall on emotionless and uncaring sensors. Before he lost consciousness, a single thought ran through his mind which he clung to in a last vain hope that he might survive:

‘Simon… my name is Simon.’

to be continued…

– J.S.Worth

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/23/day-4-my-name-is-simon/feed/05373253E-7FCF-4572-BA8F-74E56B4B9881jsworth90Day 7: Hello?https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/22/day-7-hello/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/22/day-7-hello/#respondWed, 22 Aug 2018 04:03:55 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11127The rest of the day had flashed by in a blur. After my narrow escape from the subway, I had tried to put as much distance between myself and ‘them’ as possible. Sneaking through the alleyways and side-streets, I had paid little attention to which way I was heading. It wasn’t until the late afternoon that I gave my surroundings any real notice.

The buildings around me stood tall and imposing, casting long shadows in the fading sunlight. Subconsciously I had been sticking to the shadows as much as possible, which had inevitably led me further east towards downtown where the higher density of tall structures provided the best cover.

Now in retrospect, it was not the best idea I had ever had. Although I was a less obvious target amidst the skyscrapers, in my mind at least, downtown had also been the epicenter of the first attack, and the main battleground for the fighting which followed. If my intention had been to escape ‘their’ notice, heading straight into what may very well be their stronghold was less than ideal.

I ducked behind the burned-out husk of a car to reassess my situation. With night fast approaching, I had to find shelter, and soon. I spotted a convenience store further down the road, its glass doors smashed-in like so many others. That would do, and with any luck I might be able to resupply.

When I entered, I made a thorough sweep of the store for anything of use. There wasn’t much of note, but the place at least appeared reasonably secure. I moved an empty shelving unit in front of the entrance as an extra measure. I didn’t expect it to help much in the event ‘they’ found me again, but at least it was something.

I checked the bag still strapped around my shoulder for a quick supply-check. I still had enough food and water for another day or so, if I stretched it out, and one more thing… the radio. I had almost forgotten about the portable radio I had discovered on our supply-run the day before. At the time I had intended to test it to see if I could pick up a signal. Even if I could I didn’t know what help it would be; an emergency broadcast perhaps, but with my limited Chinese I wouldn’t even be able to understand what was being said.

All the same I took out the small contraption and turned it on, being sure to keep the volume low. The empty buzz of static confirmed that it worked at least. I started flipping through frequencies to see if I could pick anything up.

As I listened, my thoughts returned to Charlotte. What had happened to her? When we had escaped in the subway I had been sure she was with me. Had we simply become separated as we ran; had she fallen behind; had they captured her… the pain of not knowing was the worst part of it all.

Wherever she was, and Vivian before her, they were now both far beyond my help. All I could do was hope that whatever fate had befallen them, somehow they were still alive. What did ‘they’ do with the people they caught? I shuddered at the thought; nothing good, I imagined. The fact that they were so hellbent on hunting us down, and that they seemed to collect even the dead brought images of twisted experiments to mind. I hoped I would never have to find out first-hand.

A sudden burst of sound from the radio startled me into attention and I sat upright in shock. What was that? I fiddled with the dial in an attempt to strengthen the signal.It had almost sounded like language. At last I seemed to have hit the right frequency and the sound came through again, much clearer:

Animal scares us all while drumming up a major storm.
“I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay?” states Pepe the Prawn.

Now I will join Janice, living naked on a beach.
We ignore the stigma attached to the lawless breach.

AND THIS IS WHAT WE CALL THE MUPPET SHOOOOWWW!

– Vanja LaVoie

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/22/the-muppet-show/feed/0muppetjsworth90The Timekeeperhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/21/the-timekeeper/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/21/the-timekeeper/#respondMon, 20 Aug 2018 14:06:59 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11098The Timekeeper never cares
When someone’s number is up.
Tearing down the families,
Best friends, lovers, and such.

He is not of flesh; therefore,
Having not a soul.
Breaking the ties of love;
The Grim Reaper is his own.

Note that he’s considered male,
For a female would ne’er take part
In breaking the tie of mom to babe,
Nor crush the elderly’s heart.

His cogs and wheels kept turning
Since the beginning of all time.
They are now not spinning right;
He, himself, is near out of rhyme.

He has to find a replacement
To carry out his deed,
So he did plant a little thought
Causing Tigerwrite to need

To begin a contest based on
The Timekeeper’s ill facade.
The winner of this contest will
earn an eternity’s job.

What we hear as a clock tick
Is acting as the trickster’s heart.
He laughs to think that we run our lives
At the bell of his rotten art.

Who will become the next to slave
When the present will depart?
Methinks it cannot be The Past,
The Future will make his start.

Maybe this time a female will be
The black-cloaked bringer of dread.
“Equal rights be the death of me,”
The old misogynist would say on his bed.

Because of this, I do strongly feel,
That I shall win the prize.
Because, you see, the decision’s been made
And I am the new keeper of time.

– Vanja LaVoie

]]>https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/21/the-timekeeper/feed/0timekeeperjsworth90Getting Madhttps://bantaa91.com/2018/08/20/getting-mad/
https://bantaa91.com/2018/08/20/getting-mad/#respondSun, 19 Aug 2018 14:09:10 +0000http://bantaa91.com/?p=11095I am becoming mad day by day
Like lotus in the deep cactus
…muddy musical rice field
Needed a octa music soon..
To heal brain outlets…

I am becoming like monotonous robot
Like a hell wonders on me…
Damn it I broke the human power…
I am becoming senseless creature.
..like a meteorite zero gravity
Falling in the beauty of void
unused brain…