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You’d think no one had ever encountered extramarital sex on television before.

It was inevitable that golf god Tiger Woods’ return to the Masters this week would prove to be a major television event — any actual golf being played, however well, being vastly overshadowed by the hooker-and-stripper sex scandal we’ve been wallowing in for weeks.

So why all the puritanical fuss? Adultery has been generating ratings since Lucy and the famously philandering Desi finally called it quits. Which did not prevent them from faking it for the camera and milking the marriage for another couple of years.

In real life, marital discord is invariably a somewhat stickier situation. Oscar-winning actresses seem particularly prone. Hilary Swank accidentally left then-husband Chad Lowe out of her acceptance speech, and shortly thereafter out of their troubled marriage. Halle Berry and Eric Benét … I mean who cheats on Halle Berry? And we all saw poor Sandra Bullock go all misty this year about hubby Jesse James "having her back," when in truth, she soon learned, he was fooling around behind it.

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Not even American presidents are immune from scrutiny, from Jimmy Carter lusting in his heart to Bill Clinton canoodling, or being canoodled, in the Oval Office.

On a more local level, former mayoral candidate Adam Giambrone has returned to the CP24 news channel to host his On the Rocket transit talk show, though you’ve got to assume that most of his viewership will be more interested in his personal issues than his visionary plans for light rail transit.

In television drama, for the first 30 years of its existence, extramarital sex was pretty much unthinkable, except perhaps on daytime soaps, and even then alluded to more than enacted.

Can you imagine Ozzie cheating on Harriet? June Cleaver getting it on with the milkman? (Although that might explain why she always wore those pearls during the day.) Fred Flintstone and Betty Rubble locked in cartoon coitus in a sleazy cave motel room?

I think not.

In the 1980s, prime-time soaps such as Dallas and Dynasty made adultery one of America’s favourite spectator sports. From the 1990s to now, it has dominated daytime, on “real world” exploitation screamfests ringmastered by the likes of Springer, Maury and Wilcos.

On The Sopranos, a “goomah” (mistress) was pretty much standard family issue, along with a gun, a baseball bat and a track suit. On Rome, everyone was always getting into everyone else’s toga. Currently, on Mad Men, if you aren’t bonking the boss, you aren’t going to make it out of the steno pool.

On Nurse Jackie, formerlycheated-on Soprano Edie Falco is suffering the consequences of her own ill-considered affair — ironically, with a pharmacist played by actor Paul Schulze, who also played the priest she flirted with as Carmela Soprano.

On The Good Wife, another of the best dramas on the box, Chris Noth’s fallen politician Peter Florrick is trying to earn back the trust of his wife, Alicia (Julianna Margulies), while she herself reluctantly resists a mutual attraction for her boss.

A few seasons back, Swingtown, an ambitious if short-lived ’70s-set series, focused almost entirely on suburban spouse-swapping.

And indeed, for the most part, the 1970s American prime-time schedule was uniquely infidelity-inclined.

No night more so than Saturdays on CBS in the 1973-74 season, television comedy’s original “must-see” lineup, with All in the Family at 8, M*A*S*H at 8:30, Mary Tyler Moore at 9, Bob Newhart at 9:30 and The Carol Burnett Show at 10.

I can’t remember any specific adultery plot lines in All in the Family, though if there really weren’t, that would make it the only taboo social issue the show didn’t address. Later on in the evening, Bob and Emily Hartley were pretty much the ideal couple, so I think we can count them out. And a Carol Burnett sketch or two really doesn’t cut it.

M*A*S*H was another story entirely, particularly during the early, darker Larry Gelbart years, with married men Trapper John and Henry Blake blithely working their way through the nursing staff, while hypocritically (not Hippocratically) pining for the domestic bliss they left behind Stateside.

And even after their exit, there was still Frank Burns and Hotlips, an ongoing secondary storyline that hinged entirely on his adultery and her promiscuity. (Remember all those implied trysts with presumably married generals?)

But the worst offender is also the most unlikely — yes, that’s right, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, believe it or not, a veritable hotbed of extramarital activity.

Starting with Sue Anne Nivens, introduced in 1973 as the station’s “Happy Homemaker,” and as the Other Woman in an affair with Phyllis Lindstrom’s never-seen dermatologist husband, Lars.

Both Murray Slaughter and Ted Baxter made clumsy, unrequited overtures to our Mare, and both were also tempted by other, apparently less discerning women. Lou Grant, after his divorce, actually dated Mary, but only once. And when he caught his son-in-law in a compromising situation, he took it rather well, I thought, given that the guy was screwing around on his daughter. He even confessed to his own unconsummated almost-indiscretion.

Rhoda also dated Lou, but again, after his divorce. I can’t remember if she actually specifically ever went out with a married man, but given her batting average, she certainly must have.

But not Mary. Never Mary. I’m pretty sure there was this one guy who was separated or something, but still . . . she’s Mary Tyler Moore! The closest she could ever come to spousal seduction is turning the world on with her smile.

All eyes will be glued to the television set as Tiger Woods tees off at the Masters this week. If you happened to have been living in a hole for the past few months, here’s what you need to know about how it all unravelled for Woods.

It all started Nov. 25, 2009, when The National Enquirer reported that Tiger Woods is involved with a New York City nightclub hostess and events planner Rachel Uchitel. And suddenly the world’s most-famous golfer was known for a lot more than his putting prowess.

Nov. 27

At 2:25 a.m. the day after American Thanksgiving, Woods loses control of his 2009 Cadillac sport utility vehicle while pulling out of the driveway at his Florida mansion. Woods’s wife, Elin Nordegren, uses a golf club to smash a back window and help Woods from the car. Sports fans and celebrity watchers hold their breath as news bulletins flashed that Woods had been seriously injured.

Nov. 29

Woods takes full responsibility for the incident, saying: “I’m human and I’m not perfect. Many false and malicious rumours circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.”

Nov. 30

Nov. 30: Woods pulls out of the Dec. 3-6 Chevron World Challenge, which benefits his charitable foundation.

Dec. 2

Us Weekly magazine hits the newsstands featuring a cover story alleging that a Los Angeles cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, had a 31-month affair with the Woods — and that the proof was in 300 text messages. Woods releases a statement saying, “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart’ “

Dec. 4

Woods announces he is taking an “indefinite break” to try to salvage his marriage.

Dec. 5

The mistresses, however, are not taking a break. Two more alleged girlfriends — cocktail waitress Jamie Jungers and coffee-shop waitress Mindy Lawton — come forward.

Woods apologizes for his “infidelity” and says he will be focusing his “attention on being a better husband, father and person” during his break from pro golf.

Dec. 13

Global management consultancy firm Accenture drops its sponsorship agreement with Woods saying, “the circumstances of the last two weeks” no longer make him the “right representative” for the company.

Dec. 30

Woods checks into a sex addiction clinic in Hattiesburg, Miss.

Dec. 31

Not-so-Happy New Year. AT&T follows the lead of Accenture and drops Woods as a spokesman.

Jan. 13, 2010

General Motors Co. says an agreement with Woods that allowed the fallen golf star to have free access to its vehicles is over. Woods’s endorsement contract with GM’s Buick brand ended in 2008, but an arrangement remained in place that allowed him to keep several GM loaner vehicles.

Jan. 23

The number of women linked to Woods hits 19 with the revelation that he reportedly paid 42-year-old Emma Rotherham half-a-million dollars in exchange for her silence. According to her relatives, she has a Canadian and British passport and grew up in Montreal. Rotherham had concocted a story that she was having golf lessons to cover her affair with Woods.

Feb. 19

Woods addresses a small audience, including his mother, Kultida Woods, at PGA headquarters in Florida, saying, “I was wrong, I was foolish. I don’t get to play by different rules.”

Feb. 26

Another breakup as a spokeswoman for Gatorade announces: “We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship.”

Feb. 27

Woods returns to his Florida home and has been has been hitting balls on the range at Isleworth.

March 9

Woods is back working with his swing coach, Hank Haney. Morning radio DJs mine rich new Tiger joke seam.

March 11

Reports suggest that the golfer has hired former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer as an adviser.

March 16

Woods announces he will make his comeback at the Masters on April 8.

March 21

Woods says in an interview with ESPN and the Golf Channel “… now, after treatment, going for in-patient treatment for 45 days and more outpatient treatment, I’m getting back to my old roots.”

March 23

Ari Fleischer ends his role with Team Tiger because his presence gave the impression that Woods was being stage-managed in his return to the public eye.

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