Bio:

The ‘illustrious’ Cousin of the missing dwarven prince, he had no ambition, inclination, nor ability to wear the Earthen Crown. Some of his fellow dwarves have said that he was a reckless, useless drunkard. Much of this was true. He spent many days inside his mugs, and the rest talking to his self-made battleaxe.

And let me say this: Getting a dwarf to tell you that you are a drunkard is quite a feat, indeed!

Lately the Prince had been abducted, stolen right from under the honor guard! Those humans down south with their heads up in the clouds, thinking they would barter for his return! No doubt a power play to lower the price of the high quality of iron the dwarves have mined from their mountain home! Evidence was found proving their guilt!

And so the war drums were taken from the stores and weapons from the racks
and readied
And so the war chants would be sung and formations formed from the ranks
of the Readied

All were readied, save for one drunken dwarf who thought otherwise.
Surely the Prince must be out there somewhere! He believed he knew otherwise for HIS evidence SAID otherwise!

And so they let him go. He took his aleskins (as they knew he would!) and wandered off, blustering that he would bring the Prince home! The ILLUSTRIOUS cousin!

Bah! He’ll be back crying over empty skins, blubbering over his precious ‘Percy’…
…and he’ll be given what he always comes back for…we’ll have the keg ready for him.