February 24, 2009

And the Award Goes to …

As most of you sat in the library studying for your prelims and finishing your homework assignments on Sunday night longing for that A to reward your efforts, our favorite celebrity friends gathered together to be applauded for their hard work at the 81st Annual Academy Awards Ceremony. Now, although not everyone was a winner like Kate Winslet or the cast that made Slum Dog Millionaire Best Picture, some presenters and guests shined more than others.
Color combos are very important, and last night a bad color combo happened to two very good people. Victims: Queen Latifah and Reese Witherspoon. We all know the risk of ordering your red meat black and blue, but I don’t think any of us realized such a combo of colors would be just as risky in the fashion industry. Queen Latifah, who has been making an effort to look more glamorous in the past few years, made a big step backwards last night when she sported a black and blue dress. Reese Witherspoon, who usually looks simple and well put together, looked horrible last night as well. It makes me very sad to say this, but her dress and eyebrows looked rather disturbing. Although she might not have looked that bad, my usual high standards for her made me that much more disappointed when she walked out on stage. I was so distracted that I couldn’t even enjoy the comedy in her Ben Stiller joke! Both women are extremely independent and powerful, but human just like the rest of us (apparent in their choice of color schemes).
Getting the right color palate isn’t always a guarantee that you will look excellent or avoid the worst-dressed list. Jessica Biel was one whose downfall was not the color but the fundamentals of her ensemble. What is most tragic about Ms. Biel’s decision is that she turned what could have been a wonderful dress, or what seemed to be a pretty dress on the red carpet, into a disaster. The Prada dress she wore seemed to be a “dress pant” as well — the confusion regarding her outfit seems to have cost her a great deal. It seems Shirley Maclaine was one Oscar-winning actress last night that chose to sport a traditional black suit: not my favorite, but its simplicity proved to be a much better choice than Ms. Biel.
Those who hit the best-dressed list weren’t any big surprise. Jennifer Aniston was one, choosing a traditional strapless dress with gold beading accents. Strapless gowns to the floor have always served her well — the red Prada one she sported with Mr. Pitt years ago got her tons of press. Other best-dressed included Heidi Klum, who showed a little more skin this year while choosing a vibrant red dress, and America’s favorite Sarah Palin impressionist, Tina Fey, who wore a Great Gastby-esque shimmering gown.
Well on to more important things: the jewels looked fabulous last night. Angelina Jolie was one actress who knows how to make a statement with a bold piece or two. Her emerald green earrings and large cocktail ring added a great amount of color to her simple and classic black dress. A trend this year was indeed “less is more.” Not many necklaces or rings were worn on Sunday night, but earrings and bold cuff bracelets were the look. Heidi Klum seemed to be the only actress who did not get the memo last night that less was more, as the jewelry designer wore several large bangles and earrings that seemed to dominate her face (luckily her dress was interesting enough to get her on a couple of best-dressed lists!).
To not exclude the men, I was glad to see that Mickey Rourke left his Harley Davidson at home. Although that was progress, he did go overboard with his accessories the other night. He wore a variety of chains, pinky rings, necklaces and a black watch that all together wasn’t as stylish as I might have hoped. Rourke also made a bold statement with his white suit, bringing a little South Beach and sunshine to the red carpet.
Whether your goal is to win an Oscar or just to attend one of the infamous after parties, remember to not pair black and blue satin or to turn the dress of someone’s dream into a “dress pant.” Let’s also cross our fingers that next year I will be blabbing on some E! channel Red Carpet special instead of the Bias Cut!

Related

In case you’ve forgotten (which is absurd), the last time we spoke:
1. Snow fell on England.
2. Rachel was being tortured by her dentist.
3. The English turned out to be aliens!
4. A hobo named Jeff taught me all I needed to know about the world.
5. I discovered two previously unknown diseases.
Two of these things have since been proven to be lies. I think we all know which ones. These falsities are neither here nor there. What is here, however, is a recession! And this one’s for keeps.

This semester, I’ve learned all sorts of practical things — one notable example being that a two liter bottle of soda costs significantly less than its 20 oz. cousin. I’ve also learned that drinking straight from a two liter bottle in the metro either labels you: a) drunk; b) cheap; c) low-class. Often I’m only playing the part of two out of the three stereotypes, but anyway.
One of the most important things I’ve learned from my abroad experience thus far (God, I am so sick of calling my time abroad my “abroad experience”) is that an American like me has to start making substitutions for all sorts of consumer products and services that I have come to readily take for granted at home.