The Defining Interview Of Harry Reid’s Political Career, Maybe

“REID: I’m saying that the United States Senate, Democrats and Republicans, do not want terrorists to be released in the United States. That’s very clear.

“QUESTION: No one’s talking about releasing them. We’re talking about putting them in prison somewhere in the United States.

“REID: Can’t put them in prison unless you release them.

“QUESTION: Sir, are you going to clarify that a little bit? …

“REID: I can’t make it any more clear than the statement I have given to you. We will never allow terrorists to be released in the United States.”

[…]

“QUESTION: But Senator, Senator, it’s not that you’re not being clear when you say you don’t want them released. But could you say — would you be all right with them being transferred to an American prison?

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

It’s quite simple. Either we have the terriss in gitmo, or we have them in our shopping malls. WHY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS OBVIOUS DICHOTOMY?

Jukesgrrl

Can they be greeters at Walmart?

shortsshortsshorts

Disney land is the only place for these terrorist people, according to Reid. Let’s throw them into a very small world, after all.

What the hell is he thinking? He is an excellent dip shit.

DISCLAIMER: Leahy is still the biggest dipshit.

OnTheLoose

But what if they promised to wear magic mormon undies?

KristaJulieva

Why do people have so much difficulty understanding that to put someone in prison you have to release them? Now if the senator could get around to explaining to you numbskulls that war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength, and Spock has a goatee.

SmutBoffin

Jesus. Another pol with the brain AIDS? Have the motherfuckers been sharing needles in a congressional squat somewhere?

mollymcgwire

Obviously Michelle Bachmann has shapeshifted into the form of Harry Reid.

nbawriter

Why hasn’t Jim Webb crushed Harry’s head like an overripe tomato yet?

whiskey tango foxtrot

Harry Harry no.. no… they saying goes like this: “If you love someone, set them free…”

nader paul kucinich gravel

And the thing that you’re hearing
Is only the sound
Of the low spark of high-heeled boys

whiskey tango foxtrot

After being peppered by questions, Reid joked, “I think I’ve had about enough of this.”

Rigggggght? Must have been pure torture.

Holy Cow!!

Why oh why, can’t the embarrassment to humanity known as Harry Reid just be hit by a meteor?

Turd Way

Put it in Nevada, nobody will care. As Nevada’s governor just complained, people don’t even remember that it is part of America. Somewhere between the Nevada Test Site and wherever they are going to bury the world’s nuclear waste will do. Instead of bitching about Obama’s plan, Reid should use some of that $787 billion walking around money he gave him for being his “political crony” to build a super bad-ass terrorist prison. The terrorists will still escape because they have Trained Methods but they will be lost in a Great Basin wasteland where they will die dreaming of the lush landscape of Afghanistan cave country.

katrina

Hey, I thought we were #1 at putting people in prison here.
Fuck yeah?

nader paul kucinich gravel

Free, free, set them free

If you need somebody
Call my name
If you want someone
You can do the same

Free, free, set them free

Turd Way

[re=320809]katrina[/re]: We’re also #1 at putting people in prison there.
Fuck yeah.

Oh, and teen gonorrhea.

GreenHalo

There’s two kinds of Mormon men: Mormon meanies like Brent Scowcroft, who are equally comfortable wading through lava and blood and are not to be trifled with, and ineffectual rated-PG marshmallows that a bare-knuckled Ned Flanders could leave sprawled in a gutter dying of internal injuries.

I’m preeeety sure I’m getting a fix on where the Reidmeister is coming from. “Behold my priesthood authoritah! When I speak, the thinking has been done! Re-CEIVE my WISDOM! Um, please stop asking questions, you’re not doing it right. No, YOU are doing it wrong. I said stop, which means you stop. No, YOU are.”

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Fitzmas. What is it with federal prosecutors who get kicked upstairs, anyway?

Lascauxcaveman

I kept telling these guys, “Don’t feed those terrorists, you’ll never get rid of them.” Did they listen? No. They did not.

Now we’ve got them in our prisons, in Vegas, in our tomato farms, as greeters in our Walmarts.

CURSE YOU GEORGE W. BUSH!

BobLoblawLawBlog

This guy.

Whenever I wonder why it is that the GOP froths at the mouth at the mere mention of Pelosi’s name, all I need to do is reread this interview. Sheesh. No wonder they don’t attack him; he does fine on his own.

Can we tempt him out of the Senate? Maybe leave a trail of pie slices, terminating in a glass of Hawaiian Punch in a lobster trap? Dem Mormons likey the sugar.

lukewarm

Why do the democrats put morons who need to act conservative in order to hold on to their tenuous seats in charge of their senate majority?

nader paul kucinich gravel

Mormons, 911, AIPAC, and Bankers!

portorium

abolish the senate

Judas Peckerwood

Jesus, I hope that the GOP loses all of their Senate seats up in 2010, but that they win Reid’s. Not that you’d be able to tell the difference…

prototype

[re=320823]Judas Peckerwood[/re]:

Yes please.

SayItWithWookies

Where the fuck did you think they were going to go, Senator? Did you think life is a fucking video game where you shoot the bad guys and they disappear ten seconds later? No, of course you didn’t. But you did think that if you acquiesced enough to the assholes who did evil shit and are now gone, that you wouldn’t be left holding the bag.

Lost that bet, didn’t you? Would you like to do something about it — something you maybe should’ve done eight years ago — or would you just like to stand there pretending you’re taking a principled stand and looking like an idiot? Christ, at least Nancy Pelosi has the guts to say the CIA lied to her when the chips are down. You’re spineless all the way to the bottom.

sweetcandy

What exactly his Harry Reid saying?

Is he saying that there is some kind of legislation saying that if Gitmo detainees are released from there that they will be classified as “released detainees” which would allow the detainees’ lawyers to say they were freed by the government, and by law have the right to bail?

Or is he making it clear that he wants to be a Republican now?

Bruno

So this is the bestest Democrat Socialist Party senator there is? The quality/depth of leadership problem isn’t just in the GOP.

I suggest waterboarding to get the ‘right’ answer out of him.

hobospacejunkie

REID: Can’t put them in prison unless you release them.

What in the fuck is he talking about? Somebody give this guy a fatal cerebral hemorrhage already. This spineless fuckbag is exhibit #1 for the assertion that there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans (at least in the Senate.)

Doktor Avalanche

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

“Can’t put them in prison until you release them.”

Somehow I imagine the guards giving them a ten second head start before they start chasing after them.

Hawaiiexpat

Discovery here on wonkette:

— a new form of Nevada/Mormon eubonics.

Cool

gurukalehuru

This is Republican logic. This is why we are totally fucked.

chascates

“This amendment is as clear as day. It explicitly bars using the funds in this bill to ‘transfer, release or incarcerate’ any of the Guantanamo detainees in the United States. When the Administration closes Guantanamo, we will ensure it does so the right way.”

Which might allow them living on a cruise/prison ship, sent into outer space, or dropped off at the south pole?

ColdCupofHope

It is as if these chowderheads believe that the terrorists will magically be up for parole within the first 90 days of their transfer. “Well, Ali — you’ve done really well in the prison machine shop. Here’s your furlough. Don’t land a plane into a building on the way out!”

I promise you that our crazy, badass prisoners are more badass then theirs. I have pride people!

gurukalehuru

O.K., Harry, but what about if, after an open and fair trial, just speaking hypothetically, they were found innocent?

p.s. You are a dickhead.

Lionel Hutz Esq.

In Harry’s defense, he does have to speak with Republicans all day. That has to do something to your cognition.

slavojzizek

would you be all right with them being transferred to an American prison?

“REID: Not in the United States.”

What we need is an American run facility, not in the United States, where we could transfer them, and use the ambiguity of its status as American/not-American, to impinge on their rights. Maybe a facility tied to a military base the US has somewhere….

Basically, we need to open the new Gitmo before we close the old one down.

cheeto_jeebus

harry’s gone campainin’ facing a serious challenge back home and thinks he’s gotta pull a specter to win. what a dick. actually he’s been a dick before hasn’t he?
So, what? we don’t have any experience incarcerating here? Seems to me we do it better than most of the rest of the world.

Sabre_Justice

[re=320813]GreenHalo[/re]: For the record, have you SEEN Ned Flanders when he gets mad? Guy’s fucking buff.

People should just start throwing things at this guy.

4tehlulz

HEY SENATE DEMS NEW LEADER PLZ KTHXBAI

SlipperyDick

Harry Reid? Oh, I thought you meant TARA Reid.

tehbenton

We can haz Jim Webb as Senate majority leader nao?

slavojzizek

Even if they were released straight to our shopping malls (perhaps with a little cash, since retail could certainly use a boost) I can’t see how the ‘terrorists’ held at Gitmo could pose much of a threat. Few speak English, and they’ve been isolated from their possible comrades for years. This isn’t 24, folks. They can’t just kidnap a computer programmer and start blowing everything up.

Scandalabra

They can all go and live in South Beach like the Marielitos did.

aeiou

but what if the turr-rists start taking urrrr juubs

and by our jobs, i mean, what if instead of slowly killing ourselves by putting bits of trans fat or oxidants or evil shaman magicks in our bodies, the turr-rists start putting bits of metal and/or allah in our bodies. double trouble

jetjaguar

Why can’t he say something that makes sense? Is it too much to ask him to make sense?

WIDTAP

Well the argument is if you bring the terrorist to the US prison system, and then we find they are not actually guilty of anything, US laws will require us to release them. If no other country will take them, or they apply for asylum, then they have to be released into the US.

So the problems is if a terrorist is found not guilty of terrorism (i.e. we picked up an innocent person and sent them to Gitmo) then they are a terrorist and we do not want the possibility that they will end up in the US.

Remember, these are brown people, and therefore MUST be guilty of something, probably terrorism. Otherwise why would they be brown and being held in Gitmo?

Crab1

[re=320795]Jukesgrrl[/re]: If terrorists start suicide bombing Wal-Mart I would have a freedom priapism forever. Release the (suspected) terrorists!

the problem child

[re=320871]WIDTAP[/re]: And if they weren’t terrorists before, the appalling treatment they received in Gitmo means that they might be sorely tempted… And whose fault is that? Plus they might take advantage of the US court system to get “civil” on our asses.

TGY

Ok, I officially dub Dems true pussies. Even when they consist of the majority of *both* houses *and* hold the presidency, they still let the Republicans back them into a corner on defense, playing the old game of more-belligerent-than-thou. Why did we vote in the last election? For more, brand-new same old thing?

dave666

If they put the terrorists in Nevada, they might be too close to the old nuclear test sites, and that may cause them to mutate into SUPER-TERRORISTS. Plus, area 51 is right there, so they may team up with the space aliens hiding there, and anal crucify all of us.

nader paul kucinich gravel

We have offshore Navy prison ships too!

USN
Proud?

Tra

Fuck you, Harry, you entirely useless piece of shit.

Gun-toting Progressive

[re=320871]WIDTAP[/re]: See, the problem occurs when we torture the ever-loving fuck out of these innocent detainees. I’d wager that even if they were kind, gentle souls when we started crushing their testicles, all that love and kindness is gone.

Fuck, I might actually understand what Harry Reid is saying. I might be having a stroke. Can anyone else smell toast?

snideinplainsight

Terror
Exciting and new
Come aboard!
We’re expecting you!!

The Terrorist Boat
Soon we’ll be making another run
The Terrorist Boat
We’re sure to have prayer rugs for everyone…

norbizness

The Piscine Bicycle Company, LLC thinks this guy is useless.

WIDTAP

[re=320900]Gun-toting Progressive[/re]: Not that we could ever provide treatment for screwing them up. After all, it is impossible to provide any relief to victims of rape, soldiers suffering PTSD, asylum seekers who have been abused in their home countries, etc.

Once tainted or jailed, a person can never be recovered, forgiven or reformed. That’s the basis for the US system of justice, yes?

Koolaid

whatever, release them in Ohio and do a reality show competition on who assimilates the best in 4 months. They’ll be monitored 24/7 and by the end of it they’ll love the US of A and our heathenism.

Capitol Hillbilly

[re=320867]Scandalabra[/re]: that sonofabitch Carter is shitting all over us!

zenferret

Oh my oh my…

I guess the punches he took in the ring have reached his brain cells.

I’m a bit embarrassed now by one of my senators.

Maybe being one of the few that converted to Mormonism as a grown man is the problem. Must be the undies.

But really by Nevada standards he is a genius. A mob lawyer is mayor of Vegas after all. Though every time I see that guy guaranteeing something about a suit on the TV I think of the mayor.

Mr Blifil

Is that chick from California with the fake boobs and the nude teenage photos available to run the Democratic Party?

sarcasticusername

and hopey’s raising money for this moran why? i know he’s supposedly a democrat, but i honestly can’t say i’d be sad to see his stupid ass go back to mormonland for good.

Crank Tango

How about this: instead of sending them to murrika, we send them to Texas instead? Win/win?

paintitblack

H. Reid is a waste of space. but it does occur to me that – assuming the torture has stopped at Gitmo – these prisoners are better off there than in a US mainland prison. These people have been so demonized that I suspect their time in a US jail might be worse than the torture at Gitmo. Imagine them walking into a jail and hear some dude named Tiny screaming: that bitch is mine!!!

gmdoll

[re=320954]Crank Tango[/re]: I hear GWB has a few extra rooms at his place in Dallas!

Norbert

I’m imaging the terrists being transported between prisons in some kind of super mutant transport truck — and the all too likely scenario of them being rescued en route by Magneto.

answerbird

[re=320844]ColdCupofHope[/re]: Fucking A. Put them in the Aryan Brotherhood wing and I think you would have your problem solved.

answerbird

Harry is getting all McCainy on us. Don’t these guys ever retire? I imagine the Senate must reek of urine and ben gay. They should release some swine flu in the chambers to get rid of the feeble.

JSDC007

Harry Reid is why we can always be sure that Dems will screw up even when given a herd of gift horses like Michael Steele, Rush Limbaugh, and other Michelle Bachman.

Packherd

*coughreelectioncough*

thefrontpage

Why not house the terrorist suspects in the underground jail cells at the Vice President’s House?

And the nice neighbors along Massachusetts Avenue can house some suspects, too, at their embassies’ underground jail cells, too.

And we can house a bunch of them in the underground jail cells at RFK Stadium, too!

In fact, there’s an entire network of underground jail cells throughout the D.C. area–including many at the Pentagon, too!

There’s plenty of room! Come one, let’s get them here as soon as possible!

Oh, and there’s some extra room at that ridiculously stupid National Harbor thing in P.G. County–plenty of room there, actually!

jetjaguar

[re=320987]gmdoll[/re]: This idea must be made into Fox’s next reality show. Oooo I could spend all day thinking about that, aaaaand I will.

Gopherit

[re=320899]Tra[/re]: Word.

When the fuck are the Dems going to sack up and fire Reid and Pelosi?

nestor

Fine, put them in Yucca Mountain.

problemwithcaring

The audacity of poop.

yellowdogdem

Surely I’m not the only one who noticed he’s giving the finger. My, my Harry, how daring!

Let’s have them build the wall separating Mexico from USA. With any luck, some drug cartel will shoot them all within 72 hours, and then we can be like “Oh noes, what a miscarriage of justice! Pass the Shiner Bock.”

Vegastard

Oh Harry, Harry, Harry. We want so much to wuv you. Why do you make us grind the enamel off our teethies?
Send the terr’ists to Nevada instead of the nucular waste.

Vegastard

@Nestor: Yes.

imissopus

I wonder if Hopey is sitting in the Oval Office right now, repeatedly banging his head over and over against his desk.

How about this, Harry: let’s tag ‘em with electronic collars like we do with wolves in Yellowstone and just monitor them 24/7. Anytime one comes within spitting distance of a Wal-Mart or a mall, SWAT scoops ‘em up and returns them to whatever desert wasteland in Nevada we dumped them in after Gitmo.

OzoneTom

Why don’t these clueless dumbocrats just point out that the only people who were talking about releasing the “terrorists” in this country have an “R” next to their name?