I must say “Farewell” to you good people, for this morning, I committed the cardinal sin against my wife, the no longer long-suffering and understanding Jess. As a result, I have absolutely no confidence in my chances for surviving the day. I thought I’d take this opportunity to say goodbye while she is distracted by ...

Sometimes I think we’d be happier if we could (or would) make some serious changes to the bible (or, preferably find someone else to make the necessary changes. Why should we take the wrap if it’s a bad idea?). Some of the changes are obviously no-brainers, like adding “God helps those who help themselves.” I ...

I think I may have poisoned myself. My guts are wrecked, and it’s not safe for me to be more than a short run to the bathroom (and if you’ve ever seen me run, you know how short a distance that is). My poor wife, the lovely and talented Jess, is suffering as well. She’s ...

Here’s another paper I wrote last semester. Enjoy! Let Them Eat Donna Reed: Family Values As A Diversionary Tactic. America is in terrible shape. We cannot even keep our government open. Our economy seems to be perpetually on the brink of collapse. Unemployment rates are high. We have been at war with terror for ...