American Horror Story Recap: Death and “The Name Game”

Just when we thought we couldn’t love her more, last night Jessica Lange sang “The Name Game” in full 60s glam, and we fell even harder. While choosing to star in American Horror Story must have initially been regarded as a career death blow for one of the most decorated actresses in Hollywood, instead it’s been a banging comeback. And now she gets to do the mashed potato while leading the cast in a number straight out of Bloody Beach Blanket Bingo: Surfin’ in a Straightjacket.

The song is a fantasy sequence that the ex–Sister Jude uses to escape her complete meltdown, much like Bjork in Lars Van Trier’s Dancer in the Dark. She’s been beaten, electrocuted, and stripped of her habit, but she’s tough as old boots, damn it, and still manages to instigate the murder of the demon-possessed nun who put her there. And—shockingly for this show—the devil nun is successfully dispatched! (Not before deflowering a priest, however.) Then, while we were waiting for her body to pop back up and start spitting out Latin verses, the real surprise came from the heartbroken Dr. Arden, who killed off his human experiments in dismay and sent himself into the crematorium fire with her like a Hindu widow. This has to mark the first case of a Nazi Sati.

So two baddies are out of the picture, but Dr. Thredson has strolled back into it, all wingtips and bloodlust, with plans in the making for the potential heir to that bloodlust. Now he has to keep the vessel containing that heir alive, explaining to Lana that even after their son is born, “I’ll have to keep you around to breastfeed for at least the first year. The health benefits are myriad!” He’s quite the progressive doctor. Lana uses the stalemate preventing him from hurting her to also protect Kit. The constant back and forth of who’s on top between Thredson and Lana has been the source of the most ridiculous and contrived plot points (she escapes! But there’s a car crash so she doesn’t! He’s imprisoned! But then someone just . . . releases him!), but it looks to be building to something fun.

Also, let us bow our heads and have a moment of silence for the mutants in the woods. No sooner had we inquired after them than they’re gunned down. Poor deformed freaks, we hardly knew ye and what the genetic experiments Arden was using you to accomplish. Life might be nasty, brutal, and short, but you shouldn’t be covered in boils, forced to live in the woods, and fed raw chunks of meat. Goodnight, you princes of Massachusetts.

With the exits of Nazi doctors, devils, and mutants, you might wonder if American Horror Story is going to be less over-the-top now. Don’t worry; there are still aliens, serial killers, and Sister Jude’s redemption/revenge to contend with, and the last three episodes will surely unleash a little more hell. There was one huge missed opportunity in this one, though: why not have Thredson come in during the rendition of “The Name Game” for a rousing round of “Bloody Face, Bloody Face, Bo-Bloody Face, Bananafana Fo Floody Face, Mi My Mo Mudy Face, Bloody Face!”?