Forum » Topic: Lab tests confirm that father of two not ‘made of money’http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13651
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be reasonable on "Lab tests confirm that father of two not ‘made of money’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13651#post-37143
Thu, 07 Oct 2010 16:47:31 +0000be reasonable37143@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>"I'm not bloody psychic" claim confirmed by Camelot.
</p>dicky37 on "Lab tests confirm that father of two not ‘made of money’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13651#post-37142
Thu, 07 Oct 2010 16:42:11 +0000dicky3737142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Did I mention it was a true story?<br />
Well, kind of...
</p>dicky37 on "Lab tests confirm that father of two not ‘made of money’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13651#post-37069
Thu, 07 Oct 2010 12:53:41 +0000dicky3737069@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>After years of repeatedly claiming to his wife and sons that he was not, as they seemed to believe, ‘made of money’, a West Midlands man has undergone a series of genetic tests to obtain conclusive proof.</p>
<p>Mike Whitehouse, a local authority buildings inspector, contacted the Human Genetics Centre in Birmingham who ran the tests over a three-day period. Head of the centre Dr Rebecca Irvine said, “I’ve seen the DNA data myself, and I can verify that among the usual ACGT sequences there is not a single pound, dollar, euro or yen symbol as one would expect to see in a person whose physiology consisted entirely of currency.”</p>
<p>Detailed cellular analysis and an exploratory MRI scan were also used to detect the presence of the telltale signs that categorize British legal tender; such as a watermark, or a metallic strip running from head to toe. Both tests also proved negative.</p>
<p>Commenting on the results, Mr Whitehouse expressed his hopes that husbands around the country would no longer ‘be treated like walking wallets’ during shopping trips. </p>
<p>In a further revelation, the centre’s work also supported Mr Whitehouse’s regular assertion to his wife that he ‘wasn’t born yesterday’. “Sophisticated radiocarbon dating and a quick glimpse at his medical records both point to a date of December 3rd, 1947.” explained Dr Irvine. “This puts him in his early sixties. It also makes him a Sagittarius.”</p>
<p>In a separate endeavour, Mr Whitehouse is currently awaiting a report from the Department of Work and Pensions that he hopes will confirm his declaration to his sons that he is “not a bloody taxi service”.
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