Sunday, 8 December 2013

Letter to Dudley

I do not wish to define you by the fact that you are deaf, but it must be one of the first subjects I approach as I have found it difficult to communicate in the "usual" way, ie
through speech - and I do have the desire to communicate.

I
have realised though, that in considering myself a “writer”, (I feel myself
qualified as such due to the fact that I write, although the fact that I am not
paid to and that no-one might read what I have written is another matter
entirely) that speech is not perhaps my most effective way of communicating,
and that perhaps writing is.

The
urge to communicate I think is instinctual, although I like to think of it as
more than just the pack-animal urge. Why communicate? Well to ease the pain and amuse oneself,
of course. To what end? Well, perhaps to the end of unnecessary human suffering
through interaction, of course.

In regards to us, I
have to first conclude what I know about you to make an informed decision as to whether or not you are, indeed,
physically and psychologically, worth the effort of my energies, or whether you should sap them, like a great emotional leech. Symbiotic or parasitic - we must all consider whether the
outgoing of our energies shall balance with the incoming - because if they do not, we may plan a premature exit from these worldly binds, but if they do, then there is the possibility of immortality.

I
know about you:a) that you have made the choice to work.

b)
you have chosen to place yourself in a social setting

andc) you can read.

I
therefore can reasonably deduce that you are a worthwhile human being, who can currently live
in a modern society without the threat of imposed incarceration, and therefore are not
intent on my destruction or eternal suffering.We have also, already helped
each other with the mail.

I serve my addiction to writing because it numbs the pain of aloneness, it eases the panic, and relieves
the responsibility of personal contact.

I
like to think myself polite and respectful of those who warrant it – in other
words, those who help and assist their fellow man through life.

I
like to think myself as apathetic to those who warrant indifference – in other
words, those whose only interest is in themselves at the expense of all others or all else.

I like to think of myself as the former towards you good self.

It
is nice to meet you, anyhow.

I
enjoy toiling alongside you, and hope you get around to reading some of my "real" work, if for no other purpose than to get a better idea of the freak you are standing next to at 4am.

I
have a family - all of whom I love, but rarely show it adequately enough.Hello, please do remember now, my name is Mud, I like long walks in the country and the thought of a kindred spirit to share in the bursting joy of life and assist in shouldering the eternal burden of death.Who are you?