Bro, You’re Awful at Massaging

August 24, 2015

— By
Lisa D

Unless you’ve done a course, or you’ve got some god-given talent, you probably don’t know how to massage. It’s just that your partner has never had the courage to tell you that. So what we suggest is that you take some time to read up and maybe practise on your dog before going back in. Get it? Back? No? Ffs.

Address Areas That Seem Swollen or Hot

We know that this may read like it’s a joke. We don’t mean that kind of swollen. Or that kind of hot. In fact, your partner may have a particular pain that needs to be soothed. Reduce any swelling first with a cold pack or have your partner take a shower or warm bath. A gentle massage on unaffected areas, arms and legs included, will help the body to relax before you move onto the more painful regions.

Establish A Flow

Remember the lesson Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel-san. Rhythm is super important. Wax on, wax off. Don’t actually use any wax though, that stings like a mother. A good massage has a flow to it that lulls the recipient into a dream-like haze. Think of how you will incorporate all of the components seamlessly. Try to maintain physical contact with your partner at all times. Look at a few Swedish massage videos for ideas.

Communication Is Key

Listen to your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s verbal and nonverbal cues. When their body tenses up it may indicate that the pressure it too much within that area. Or that they hate you. Ask them how it feels and let them know that you can change the pressure or move to another area (we hear Bristol is quite nice).

Leave Your Baggage At The Door

It is difficult to be fully available for your partner when you are feeling upset, angry or restless. When giving a massage, be there for them. Avoid speaking about problems. Energy and emotions are involved in bodywork; it is not just a physical manipulation of tissues. When you feel your best, you can give more to your partner. Meditate or take a walk to reduce your own tension and become more present.

Do Some Personal Grooming

Hangnails, rough edges and stubbly skin can all affect the sensations for your partner. Nails should be filed down and cut low. You don’t want to scratch them or dig in a nail.

Do your most to be your best. Receive a few massages and look at some videos for inspiration. Take what feels and looks good to you and try the techniques out on your partner.