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Monday, January 14, 2013

How Do I Let Go of the Only Guy I Have Ever Loved?

I have been reading your blog for a while now. Please, I need your readers candid advice on this issue. I met this really hot guy in a bbm group and we hit off immediately. He wanted a relationship but we couldn't have one cos of the distance. He lives in New York and I, Nigeria. We kept in touch though. He was in Nigeria recently and we met briefly. He was everything I wanted in a guy. He's a god literally.

Imagine my horror when I walked into my dad's family house and saw him sitting with my grandma and my dad. The look on his face was indescribable when my dad introduced me as his daughter. We had not met earlier cos my dad stopped talking to his elder sister (his mum) way before they got married over some stupid mistake my aunt made.

Apparently, he came back to settle the dispute between the family members. Now, he says he's in love with me. We were always together through out our stay in my country home (our parents think it's the same bond his mum and my dad shared when they were younger that extended to us). How do I tell my family that I have been intimate with my cousin and that I'm in love with him? God knows I have done my best to forget about him but it's just not working. I think about him all the time and he's having the same problem! How do I let go of the only guy I have ever loved? I'm so confused!

Not just annoying but this story is not true, am sure she lives in the uk and she edited the story line from Eastenders. Rubbish. Girl get a life this is Eastenders story line an it's ongoing. And last night episode made may u write this, cause it getting more crazy. And I could recall discussing the topic early wit one of my team @ work.

before God smite you two with a curse, his your first cousin for Gods sake, yall's kids will have genetic problems, plus it is wrong in the eyes of the lord.Infact consider yourselves brother and sisters, it cannot happen, you better force yourself to forget, before you two go any further, it is the devil at work, fight the temptation, start seeing him like ur brother cuz that is what he is to you.

Its not ur fault for falling in love or being intimate wiv ur cousin, bcos u didnt know.... Buh pls for ur own good1) After findin out he is ur cousin, theres no way u can still be in love wiv this dude2) U nid to go to ur pastor for series of prayers and deliverance and forgiveness of sins for both ur parents and aunt, and also for being intimate wiv ur cousin3) U nid to make sure u stopp every form of contact wiv dis cousin of urs May God help ya

you have to let him go, it is wrong to be sleeping with your family member, forgive yourself for sleeping with him and keep it to yourself. Imagine you start dating him and you guys break up over some mess, what happen then u start pretending like you are cousins again?

Intimate? U fucked him already? Then its harder to forget. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. Tell yourself over and over again that he's your cousin. Occupy your time with activities you enjoy, make new friends, learn new hobbies/games/sports, write a book etc

BTW, I almost didn't believe this story, then I remembered something similar happened to someone I know

Ode ni e, anumanu. Ewu! Always in a hurry to comment. How can they have the same last name? Will a woman retain her maiden name after marriage? The girls father and the boys mum are siblings!!! *ewure ibiye* (˘̯˘ )

So he came to Nigeria and met a girl who bore d same name as his mums maiden name, from the same origin and didn't ask questions abi? Dude must be slow as fuck. Except the fucked on the first day hehehehe...

Please o, on this blog, we say it as it is. No time for sugar coating the truth.

Please confirm:

1. "We met briefly". Does that mean you slept with him briefly?

2. "We were always together through out our stay in my country home". Does that mean you continued sleeping with him under your father's roof?

3. Let's assume your father never even told you about him or his mum. This guy came to settle the family quarell so he knew your grandma's name, your father's name and address, did your name not ring a bell with him? Did you not discuss respective places of origin?

And your father is so unforgiving he didn't speak to his sister in 20 years? 30 years? More than?

Very possible my dad doesnt talk to one of his siblings hasnt even seen her in like 25yrs, only one of them talks to the sister so she gives the others updates about her and vice versa. its a running joke in my family to ask any guy or girl you meet about his mother, where shes from and all

Intimate? U fucked him already? Then its harder to forget. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. Tell yourself over and over again that he's your cousin. Occupy your time with activities you enjoy, make new friends, learn new hobbies/games/sports, write a book etc

BTW, I almost didn't believe this story, then I remembered something similar happened to someone I know

You are committing incest and still talking. How old are you? The devil has taken over. Move on to the next dick and you will realize it's sweeter. Abi is it the kpali you are really after? You are cursed if you don't know.

I feel ur pain but u have to forget him and tell ur family. Pray for forgiveness to.Hello everyone. Do you want to make extra cash? Lets make money lovely people,pls sign up below FOR FREE,it just takes a minute. Thanks for signing up n for ur time. Pls click http://naturalpay.com/?ref=9jadiva

Pathetic...but then, its as simple as ABC, forget him and move on. And I believe this is the hand work of devil (lolz) for letting you stay lonely until it connects you to your cousin.

You better let go, in fact fear ought to have made you develop dislike for him by now, or are you thinking of getting married to him? Is he another Michael Jackson or Justin Bieber that you can't let go? What's your problem? There are better guys than him in all qualities out there, so free your mind and move on gurl!

Sweetie,wake up and smell the coffee.. He's ur cousin! I won't say harsh words to u cos at the time u met with him first,u didn't know he was ur cousin,but now u know.. Don't just forget him but erase every thought of u and him 2geda....

SORRY, YOU JUST HAVE TO LET IT GO FOR THE FACT THAT HE IS YOUR COUSIN. IN OUR CULTURE, IT IS AN ABORMINATION TO INDULGE IN ANY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANY OF YOUR RELATIONS. JUST WIPE THAT TOUGHT OUT OF YOU AND OPEN YOUR HEART TOWARDS ANOTHER.

For christ sake, this man is your first cousin that alone should be a turn off. I know its not gonna be easy but just accept he's ur cousin n whenever u think about him think of it as an abomination, with time am sure you'll start letting go. N pray bout it. God will strengthen you.

Hmm,...dis is africa,u can be a strong girl and leave him now,u maynt lk d effects of taboo later !as much as u adore dis guy,he may nt b wot u really need,don't be in want of wot d present has to offer,u will find someone else ok

remember ur kids. ask urself if u would forgive ur self if your kids experience complications. i'd never say u are wrong but i'd encourage u to find out what the right thing to do is for urself and spare nothing to actually do it. Good luck Ma'am

Some of you just come here and spew rubbish, someone is in pain and asking ur advice and u ppl r insulting her. Did she ask to fall in love with her cousin? Dis thing happens with seperated siblings, they meet and fall in love.My dear its not easy @ all but u just have to move on

What is a sin against God? Foolish people.its only in Africa that it is a major problem because of our extended family system....even in our mAtrimonial laws in Nigeria,cousin is not a forbidden degree of relationship...as for bible,point a place where it was written that it is wrong? Abram married his half sister?isaac nko.jacob married his cousin.even Mary n Joseph were cousins or somewhat related.before pouring out your insults,I dare any of you to give me a bible verse?or chapter.n did God strike anyone down for that? Even medically,theres no evidence or case of cousins giving birth to deformed babies in the first generation of birthing.it is only continuous and sustained practice that leads to that.....

I'm not saying you should continue or not(cos you know the moralists here make things sound so easy without any sympathy) but I'm just stating facts

You need Bible school. God and foolish should not be used in the same place.Read Leviticus, Samuel (Absalom etc.)When God first created humans they were genetically perfect and incest was not harmful and the only way for them to procreate at first. After the flood, a layer of water that was on top of the atmosphere was emptied, it was what protected the sun's rays from damaging Human DNA. Before the flood people could live for a very long time and were very large in size and so was everything else like the trees and plants, everything was supersize: Methuselah the oldest person on earth was 969 years old. After the flood the sun's rays shortened the human lifespan dramatically and there came a point at which incest could no longer be allowed because it was harmful and God forbade it.

Well it was not regulated until the Law of Moses - and that prohibited it. So from Adam to Moses, it was allowed. But it was no incest at the time. Intermarriage would better describe it. You cannot break a law where there is no law to break.Dumb person Anon 16.53

Ephesians Chapter 6Matthew Chapter 18Romans Chapter 12 Timothy Chapter 3Galatians Chapter 5James Chapter 1I will not add verses. Read all the chapters and find it there yourself. I am sure incest is your thing. I forgot you are a Northerner. In Christianity it is forbidden okay.You sound like an illiterate when you talk about even medically. Do your research and educate yourself on genetics.

Anonymous 19:59.....u stated that God forbade it without backing it up with any verse or bible quotation....where did God forbid marrying your cousin.all these tales about metuselah lack merit.tell me where it was forbidden? Incest is forbidden but to the Jews and I tell you,even to this day,marriage to your cousin is not incest to them.....what God condemned was Lot's daughters sleeping with him...even the story of absalom,he was condemned for raping his half sister not marrying his cousin.this my dear is a common practice in the middle east from time immemorial ....my point exactly?condemn something based on its merit.dont condemn it with the bible because you'll be surprised wat you'll see

Anon 20:05....not to take much of your time.ephesians talks about edification of the church.matthew about looking at a woman lustfully,Romans n Timothy about what the early church faced in lystra,antioch and lust generally,Galatians about the fruits of the holy spirit...I see you're the type that likes pulling verses for show.a good product of good pastoring but my dear,you're no bible scholar.nowhere in your quotations did God or the apostles or Jesus condemn marrying your cousin.expressly,impliedly or even remotely....

Now take your pen out and take notesGenesis 24:12-51__isaac married his first cousin rebekkah as God commandedGenesis 28-29----Jacob took his two cousins Leah and racheal as wivesNumbers 36-----Zelophehad's five orphaned daughters were commanded to marry thier first cousins1 chronicles 23:22....eleazar's daughter married 1st cousin as instructedLeviticus 18....the degree of prohibitions were listed by God but nowhere was cousin mentionedAnd in the new testament,nowhere and I mean nowhere was it condemned.Quote me pls.feel freeYou speak as if being a northerner is bad,sad,considering you're so faithful.one would think you're the shiny example of ecumenical thinking....and feel free to call me an illiterate,I mean,how would Einstein sound to a cobbler?like a ranting mad manI don't argue just to win.i do it to educate.i repeat,in the matrimonial causes act of Nigeria,the forbidden degrees of marriage were listed and cousin wasn't part of it.medically,I repeat,it doesn't lead to mutation of the genes in the 1 st or 2nd instance.it is sustained practice.if so,All d ancestors of the English would have been imbeciles.if you tell me our culture forbids it,il be quiet but telling me it's in the bible.......lol.no way

Babe, you can't forget him? na so him prick sweet pass? Girlfriend! getdafuckoutofherefast! God will forgive you cos whatever you did before seeing him in your village (Drop d country home crap) but so long as you have seen that d same blood runs thru your veins i suggest you forget about the only guy u have ever love bullfuckingshit! Do you not fear God? Do you not respect your parents?Well, i don't blame you, u are an oversexed nincompoop! As e show from yankee you don already pucrash am? girl u sharp o. if only you had waited to know him better this should never have been an issue. But you just had to have him abi?Except you are saying that the being intimate isn't/wasn't the sexual intimacy but your bbm and pings falls into all these other definitions of intimate.

1.Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity2.Having or fostering a warm or friendly and informal atmosphere3.Having mutual interests or affections; of established friendship4.Someone to whom private matters are confided