Post-holiday blues

by Allison Blaylock
Transgender Advice Columnist

Alli,

The holidays were fun with parties and events. I had some fun and met some cool people.

I know some people get depressed during the holidays, but for me, now that the holidays are over, I am back to being lonesome. Loneliness often leads me to dark places. How do you suggest getting out of this loneliness?

Thanks, Kara
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Dear Kara,

The holidays are times where many transgender individuals have issues. These issues can range from not having anyone to spend the time with, to situations like yours.

Not having friends to spend time with always makes things seem darker. I will also say, it is the sad rollercoaster so many of us ride on. One minute we are screaming for joy, the next we are wondering if we will ever get to the top.

One of the things I have done especially during these times is to find support groups. Though they are not as often or as easy to get to, it does help sometimes to be with like-minded people. I know it does not bring in the happy times like holiday parties or similar festivities, it does help with those lonely times.

In many ways, I look forward to the two support groups I run. These groups help me see people who are dealing with similar struggles as I do, along with finding ways to make the situation the best.

There are usually trans support groups in most major cities.

Being alone is something many of us face. We feel secluded from what most people enjoy. This could be from acceptance to sometimes our demons. I know I will sit at home sometimes and completely get lost in myself and next thing I know, I have cut people off because I felt alone.

Instead, reach out to your friends. I am sure you have more than you think.

When you can spend a few hours joking and sharing with friends, it can take away the struggles of the bad away. One thing I do suggest you don’t do is to dwell on the negative. It will only make it worse; you will see and think things that are not good for you.

I have made mention of this in the past, the worst critic of you is you. I’m the worst, in this case. I will sit there and think I have no friends and I have not achieved anything, then I end up with a friend telling me about what I have done for someone and I get out of my funk. The next thing I know I am feeling happy and cheerful like I was before the funk.

Remember the only thing stronger than being you is being that authentic you.