Lost and Found

The other day I wrote about labels and my own emotions surrounding an ID bracelet for my daughter that would label her as ‘Autistic’.

About thirty minutes ago – in the blink of an eye – my entire perspective on labels changed dramatically. Forever.

RM was missing.

She had spied her brother riding his bicycle around the block and decided to do the same. Right under my nose. We live in a thousand-square-foot ranch. She was literally. under. my. nose.

She had taken the step stool from the bathroom and used it to reach the latch at the top of the front door.

It was ten minutes or so before I realized she was gone.

I had never felt so sick to my stomach before in my life. I couldn’t breathe.

I raced outside screaming for her. Screaming at the very top of my lungs with every bit of air I could squeeze in so that I could expel as hard and loud as any human ever had. I wanted the world to hear me. Because I knew my baby girl wouldn’t respond – someone had to.

I found her rather quickly. THANK GOD.

She was gearing up to get on her bike and take off in search of the fun her brother was having.

She smiled when she saw me and exclaimed, “HI, MAMA!!!” Completely unaffected by my panic and tears.

That damned bracelet cannot get here soon enough.

I am seriously considering the GPS tracker.

And now that the episode is over, both kids are tied up and stuffed in the closet – I’m having a drink.

F’ing Cheers.

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About Rachel Kenyon

Rachel Kenyon is an Aspie, Advocate and single mom of two beautiful babes - The Boy (11) and RM (8). The Boy is a Legomaniac and RM is a kick-ass diva with Autism and 4q Deletion Syndrome.
View all posts by Rachel Kenyon

Holy Crap! Rachel!!! So so scary! I’m glad she’s okay…but holy crap!! That just scared me. So easily this could happen here. Maybe the bracelet is in our future too. For both younger boys. Sigh.
Are you okay now?

Oh, God, Rachel. I am so thankful you found her quickly. My heart is still racing as I remember our recent episode of Nik disappearing. You know, I had blocked that out (in terms of thinking about the need for a bracelet); as soon as my husband comes home, we are going to order Nik’s. Hugs, mama. If I lived closer, I’d bring you a few more bottles, too. xoxo

Oh Rachel! My heart stopped as I read, and this brought back the feelings of panic, the sheer terror, the screams, the tears all the emotions from the times Dak has wandered off. He has not done it in a while, but wow (I just had a PTSD moment I think)…so glad your sweet girl is safe and sound!

oh jeezus rach!!!! i nearly had a heart attack when i saw that she went missing. i know the heart in the pit of the stomach too well and the 10 years off of your life too. i’m glad she’s ok. how did the fortification do for ya?

Oh gods! I cannot imagine the panic you must have felt!!! My heart is still pounding in my throat from just reading about it! Those minutes of not knowing must have seemed like an eternity! I am so glad you found her safe!!!

I can’t even begin to imagine. I’ve been putting off ordering bracelets for my boys, and your last post made me finally pull the trigger. We too had an incident over the weekend (thankfully no one disappeared, but it was a misunderstanding), and they can’t get here soon enough for me.