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Category Archives: Self Help

Tricks to Boost Your Likability

Likability is a powerful force to get prospects and your peers to trust you more. Deceit isn’t behind the following tricks to make you more likable, recently featured at Forbes.com, but a few traits to keep in mind that can unconsciously influence others to see you in a new light. Here are a few:

1. Use silence to your advantage.

“When you ask someone a question and they’re slow to respond, don’t feel pressure to move the conversation forward,” Forbes columnist Travis Bradberry notes. “Remaining silent plays to your advantage. Moments of silence make people feel as though they should speak, especially when the ball is in their court.” Silence can be a golden tool in negotiations and when in difficult conversations.

2. Open hands and open palms opens hearts.

An open-palm gesture – rather than pointing — conveys trust and can even make others find you more friendly and likable.

3. Nod your head during a conversation.

“Nodding your head during a conversation or when asking a question makes the other person more likely to agree with what you’re saying,” Bradberry notes. People unconsciously mirror others’ body language around them so when you nod, you convey what you’re saying is true and desirable – others will be more inclined to agree.

4. Notice other people’s feet.

“If [the person’s] feet are aimed at you, he’s interested and listening to what you’re saying, but if his feet point away from you, he’s most likely disinterested and mentally checked out,” Bradberry notes.

5. When groups laugh, notice who makes eye contact with whom. When a group of people laugh, each member of the group won’t be able to help but make eye contact with the person whom they feel closest to, Bradberry says. “This trick can … tell you which members of your team are bonding and learning to trust one another,” Bradberry writes. “Of course, you’ll learn a lot about how you feel about other people just by paying attention to whom you make eye contact with.”

6. Show some excitement.

Again, people tend to mirror the behavior of those around them. “If you show excitement when you see someone, they naturally mirror that excitement back at you,” Bradberry writes. “It’s an easy way to make a strong first impression and to get people to like you.

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Highly successful people are able to get a lot more things done, and here are simple ways you can too.

Eliminate every “ego” commitment.

We all do things that have more to do with ego than results.

Maybe you serve on a committee because you like how it looks on your CV. Maybe you teach at a local college because you like the words “adjunct professor.” Or maybe, like me, you do radio interviews just because it seems cool to be on the radio, though it in no way benefits me professionally. (There are a few I would do no matter what just because I like the hosts.)

Anything you do solely for ego is a waste of time. Think about things you do mainly because they make you look important, smart, or cool. If it provides no other “value,” drop it.

Anything you do that serves the greater glory of you is a waste of time; besides, the best glory is reflected, not projected.

Don’t struggle for that extra 5 percent.

I’m fairly competitive so when I start to do something I soon start wanting to do it better than other people.

(OK, I’m overly competitive.)

Take cycling. I’m faster, fitter, etc., than the average person. But compared with the fast guys, I’m nothing. They can drop me within a few miles. Drives me crazy. Makes me ride more and train more and spend tons of hours on a bike–and for what? So I can hang with them for a couple more miles? So my time up a certain mountain is only 30 percent slower than theirs instead of 40 percent?

The kind of improvement has no real importance.

Sure, I may get in better shape, but at that point the improvement to my overall health is incremental at best. And in the meantime I have to spend hours on cycling I could spend working toward more important goals.

Or I could just spend more time with my family, the most important goal of all.

Think about something you already do well but are trying hard to do even better. Then weigh the input with the outcome.

Sometimes “good” truly is good enough, especially if that 5 percent gain is hugely disproportionate to the pain required to reach it.

Find the perfect way to say no.

Most of us default to saying yes because we don’t want to seem rude or unfriendly or unhelpful. Unfortunately, that also means we default to taking on more than we want or can handle.

It’s important to know how, with grace and tact, to say no.

Maybe your response will be as simple as, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t have time.”

Develop your own way of saying no and then rehearse so it comes naturally. That way you won’t say yes simply because you think you should–you’ll say yes because you know it’s right for you.

Eliminate useless “me time” commitments.

I used to play fantasy baseball and football. But when I thought about it, I had no idea why. Sure, I could rationalize it created a nice break in the week. I could rationalize it was a “mental health” activity that let me step aside from the stress and strain of business life.

I could, but that wasn’t true. I just did it because I had always done it, and once I start every year I don’t want to quit because, um, I’m not a quitter. (I know that sounds stupid, but I’m willing to bet you do at least one thing for the same reasons.)

Look at the things you do because you’ve always done them and decide if it’s time to stop.

Here’s an easy test: If you wouldn’t do something while you were on vacation, there’s no good reason to do it when you’re not.

Set hard limits.

Deadlines and time frames establish parameters, but typically not in a good way. We instinctively adjust our effort so our activities take whatever time we let them take.

Tasks should take only as long as they need to take–or as long as you decide they should take.

Try this: Decide you’ll only spend 10 minutes a day on social media. Just 10.

The first day you’ll get frustrated because you won’t get everything done you “need” to get done. The second day you’ll instinctively skip a few feeds because they’re not as important. The third day you’ll re-prioritize and maybe use a tool like Buffer to get better organized.

By the fifth day you’ll realize 10 minutes is plenty of time to do what you need to do; all that other time you used to spend was just fluff.

Pick a task, set a time limit, and stick to that time limit. Necessity, even artificial necessity, is the mother of creativity. I promise you’ll figure out how to make it work.

Establish a nighttime routine …

The first thing you do is the most important thing you do, because it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

So be smart and prepare for that “first thing” the night before. Make a list. Make a few notes. Review information. Prime yourself to hit the ground at an all-out sprint the next day; a body in super-fast motion tends to stay in super-fast motion.

… And a morning routine.

Then make sure you can get to that task as smoothly as possible. Pretend you’re an Olympic sprinter and your morning routine is like the warm-up for a race. Don’t dawdle, don’t ease your way into your morning, and don’t make sure you get some “me” time (hey, sleep time is me time). Get up, get cleaned up, get fueled up–and start rolling.

My elapsed time from bed to desk is about 15 minutes (easy since my commute is two flights of stairs), so there’s not much I can improve. So I do something else; I get my most important task done before I check email.

Think about it this way: Sprinters don’t do cool-down laps before they race. Neither should you.

Outsource the right tasks.

I was raised to think that any job I could do myself was a job I should do myself.

That’s why it took me a long time to decide the kid down the street should cut my grass. He can use the money. I can use the time.

But that’s a simple example. Here’s an even better approach: Write down the two or three things you do that generate the most tangible return. Maybe it’s selling. Maybe it’s developing your employees. Maybe it’s building long-term customer relationships.

Me? I make the most money when I’m writing; anything else I do that takes me away from writing limits my ability to generate revenue.

Figure out the two or three things that you do best–and that generate the best return on your time–and then strip away all the other “stuff” by outsourcing those tasks. (Or, oftentimes, simply by eliminating those tasks.)

Your bottom line will thank you for it.

Fix what you often break.

I used to be terrible about putting meetings and phone calls on my calendar. I figured I’d get to it later, and then I never did. Then I spent way too much time, often in a panic, trying to figure out when and where and who …

All that time was wasted time. So I finally decided I would immediately enter every appointment into my calendar the moment I made it — no matter what.

You probably have at least one thing you tend to mess up. Maybe you don’t file stuff properly. Maybe you put off dealing with certain emails and then forget them. Maybe you regularly find you’re unprepared for a call or meeting.

Or take, say, a gym. Unless you’re this guy or this gal, the first time you go to work out you probably juuust a bit insecure. And self conscious. And like you don’t belong–and wish you were anywhere else.

Maybe it’s the guy in accounting who always eats lunch alone. Maybe it’s the guy from shipping who always stands at the edge of a group. It’s easy to spot people who feel hesitant and out of place. Pick one. Say hi. Say something nice.

Say, or do, something that makes them feel a slightly bigger connection — to your company, to a group, or just to you.

Take it from someone shy and insecure: they may not show it, but they’ll definitely appreciate the gesture.

Make a person feel good about the job they do.

Rarely does a restaurant delivery guy hope to make his career delivering food. Rarely does a sales clerk hope to remain a sales clerk. Rarely does the entry-level manual laborer hope to stay in that job forever. (I was one; trust me, they don’t.)

And that’s a shame, because every job — and every person — deserves to be treated with respect. Every job is important. Every employee is important.

So pick someone at your company. Or pick someone outside your company. Doesn’t matter. Just don’t just offer a throwaway, “Thanks.” Say thanks and mean it. Or give a sincere compliment. Or ask a question that shows respect for what that person does.

For that moment, make sure the other person knows you see and appreciate them as a person, not just as an employee.

Offer a person hope.

Have you ever met a person who didn’t dream of something better? Me either. We all have dreams. We all have hopes. But sometimes it’s really hard to hold on to those dreams.

Sometimes it’s really hard to continue to have hope. Sometimes all we need is for another person to fan our flickering flames of hope.

Assign a small project to an employee you know hopes to be promoted; give her a chance, however small, to show her stuff. Ask a small supplier to provide a quote; give them a chance to earn your business. Place an employee in an informal leadership role; let them know you feel they have the potential to motivate and inspire others.

The best way to offer someone hope is to show you believe in them, even when–especially when — they don’t quite believe in themselves.

Give to a person in need.

Years ago, the first time I went to New York, a number of well-meaning people told me not to make eye contact with Manhattan beggars. “Once you make eye contact, they’re all over you,” I was told. Country boy that I am, I took that to heart.

Yet the first time my wife and I rode the subway she gave a little money to the people who walked through the car with hat or container in hand. And she gave money to people sitting against buildings holding torn, faded cardboard signs declaring their need.

Finally I asked her why.

“If a man is desperate enough to say, ‘Can you help me?’ how could I ever say no? He’s asking me for help.”

She paused. “Plus, hopefully for a few moments they’ll feel a little less alone. Hopefully they’ll feel like a few people really do care about them.” (Yes, I married waaay over my head.)

Try it. Give directly. Give to a person who asks. Give a dollar here, or five dollars there.

To you and me it may be little, but to a person in need it could be a lot. To a person in need our small gestures could make all the difference.

And it could make those people feel like someone is actually for them… at a time when everything, and everyone, can feel to be against them.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” -Les Brown

“Do or do not. There is no try.” -Yoda

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” -Napoleon Hill

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” -Albert Einstein

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” -Stephen Covey

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” -Henry Ford

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” -Alice Walker

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.” -Amelia Earhart

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle Onassis

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” -Ayn Rand

“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. -Vincent Van Gogh

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” -Farrah Gray

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” -Dalai Lama

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein

“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” -Bob Dylan

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” -Leonardo da Vinci

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” -John Lennon

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” -George Addair

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

They say that listening to Mozart makes a person smarter, but a new study shows that it’s not only classical music that boosts mental activity.

Nine out of 10 workers perform better when listening to music, according to a new study that found 88pc of participants produced their most accurate test results and 81pc completed their fastest work when music was playing.

“The take-home message is that music is a very powerful management tool if you want to increase not only the efficiency of your workforce but also their mental state, their emotional state – they’re going to become more positive about the work,” said Dr David Lewis, a neuropsychologist and chairman of Mindlab International, the company that conducted the research.

For the experiment, 26 participants were given a series of different tasks five days in a row – including spell-checking, equation solving, mathematical word problems, data entry and abstract reasoning. The workers completed these tasks while listening to one of four music genresor no music at all, to see which had the greater effect on accuracy and speed of correct responses.

he study, which was conducted in September by Mindlab International on behalf of MusicWorks, the joint campaign from music licensing companies PRS for Music and PPL, found that participants made the most mistakes when not listening to any music at all.

“Music is a key tool for business success,” said Christine Geissmar, operations director at PPL.

Here’s what you should listen to at work.

Classical music: if your work involves numbers or attention to detail

Workers were better at solving mathematical problems when listening to classical music, which improved accuracy by 12pc compared to listening to no music at all. Classical music was also the second best genre for general accuracy and spell-checking, the study found.

Pop music: if your work involves data entry or working to deadlines

Participants listening to pop music completed data entry tasks 58pc faster than when listening to no music at all. Pop was also found to be the best music genre for spell-checking quickly, and, alongside dance music, produced the fastest overall performance for getting work done. It cut mistakes by 14pc, compared to not listening to music.

Ambient music: if your work involves solving equations

Famously described by the musician Brian Eno as needing to be “as ignorable as it is interesting”, ambient music led to the highest level of accuracy for respondents completing tasks involving equations.

Dance music: if your work involves proof-reading and problem solving

This genre resulted in the highest overall accuracy and fastest performance across a range of work tasks. Participants listening to dance music produced more accurate results in spell-checking, solving equations and tackling tricky mathematical word problems, increased proof-reading speed by 20pc and and were able to complete abstract reasoning tasks more quickly.

So next time you see your headphone-clad colleague nodding in time to a dance beat, don’t judge: they’re probably working better than you are.

#1. You paid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn’t matter how much you belabored the checks as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.

#2. You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you’re still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”

#3. You have a job. For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day. It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.

#4. You have time to do something you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Netflix.

#5. You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There’s food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat.

#6. You can eat because you enjoy it. It’s not a matter of sheer survival.

#7. You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

#8. You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.

#9. You’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’re learning, and evolving, and can identify the ways in which you’ve changed for better and worse.

#10. You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You’ve maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted – you don’t have to work all hours of the day to survive.

#11. You have a selection of clothing at your disposal. You aren’t worried about having a hat or gloves in a blizzard, you have cool clothes for the summer and something to wear to a wedding. You not only can shield and decorate your body, but can do so appropriately for a variety of circumstances.

#12. You can sense what isn’tright in your life. The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”

#13. If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.” So often people carry their past traumas into their present lives, and if you want any proof that we carry who we were in who we are, all you need to do is see how you respond to your inner child hearing, you’re going to be okay, from the person they became.

#14. You have a space of your own. It doesn’t even have to be a home or apartment (but that’s great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your weird little world, and to what capacity. It’s one of the few controls we can actually exert.

#15. You’ve lost relationships. More important than the fact that you’ve simply had them in the first place is that you or your former partner chose not to settle. You opened yourself to the possibility of something else being out there.

#16. You’re interested in something. Whether it’s now how to live a happier life, maintain better relationships, reading or movies or sex or society or the axis on which the world spins, something intrigues you to explore it.

#17. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel okay the next day, who to turn to when you’re heartbroken, what you have fun doing, what to do when you don’t feel well, etc.

#18. You’re working toward a goal. Even if you’re exhausted and it feels miles away, you have a dream for yourself, however vague and malleable.

#19. But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future. Some of the happiest and best adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately plan and decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

#20. You’ve been through some crap. You can look at challenges you currently face and compare them to ones you thought you’d never get over. You can reassure yourself through your own experience. Life did not get easier, you got smarter.

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Getting a headache during the holidays is no cause for celebration. According to statistics from the National Headache Foundation, there are over 45 million Americans who suffer from chronic headaches. We’ve taken the three most common types, highlighted their symptoms, causes, and, most importantly, potential methods for relief.

Tension Headaches

Also known as stress headaches, tension headaches are the most common type of headache. Symptoms can vary, including everything from fatigue and sleep disorders to irritability, lack of focus and light sensitivity. For treatment, doctors will prescribe an over-the-counter or prescription strength pain reliever, a muscle relaxant, or in some cases an antidepressant. Be mindful however that medications may have side effects or lose effectiveness over time. In some cases, relaxation, hydration and stress management have also been shown to prevent tension headaches.

Sinus HeadachesWhen sinuses become inflamed either due to allergy or infection, the natural flow of mucous is impeded. This creates an intense and constant pain in the nose, cheekbones, and/or forehead. Sinus headaches are known to intensify with sudden head movements, or excessive straining of the face or head.

Other symptoms include nasal discharge, plugged ears, fever and swelling of the face. In order to officially attribute your sinuses as the cause of your headache, you need a doctor’s examination.

If an infection is present, antibiotics are often prescribed. In the case of sinus headaches caused by an allergy, preventive allergy therapy is the answer.

A simple home remedy involves applying a cold compress over the pain, and taking a nap in a darkened room. Other home remedies include inhaling steam infused with peppermint or eucalyptus oil, and eating chili peppers.

MigrainesThe causes of migraines are not certain, although most doctors believe they are hereditary and related to blood vessel contractions. Studies also show that the majority of sufferers are women.

The pain of a migraine can range in severity, lasting anywhere from four hours to several days. Beginning as a dull ache, a migraine headache usually transforms into a sharper, more throbbing pain. This can be accompanied by sensitivity to light, noise and odor. Other symptoms include paleness, fatigue, dizziness, blurry vision, fever, loss of appetite, as well as several gastrointestinal issues.

What triggers a migraine? It depends on the individual. For some, the chemicals released in the brain during stress are enough. For others, food chemicals such as MSG and nitrates will do the trick.

Other potential triggers include a lack of caffeine or the excessive intake of it, fatigue, skipped meals, changes in sleep patterns, changes in weather, and menstruation. It’s also important to know that migraines may be the effect of other conditions such as asthma, hypertension, stroke, sleep disorders and chronic fatigue syndrome.

The best suggestion for treating migraines is to discern the cause. Anytime a migraine headache is experienced, write down everything you ate and when you ate it, making note of your mental state and stress levels. Finding a pattern to your migraines will not only help your doctor diagnose and treat them, but it will also help you avoid further migraines.

For frequent headaches of any variety, it is imperative that you see your doctor for proper diagnosis and treatment, since they may be a sign of a more severe illness. A proactive approach is always the best choice when dealing with your health.

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There is nothing wrong with making a mistake. It’s what you say to yourself after you mess up that matters. Your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either magnify the negativity or help you turn that misstep into something productive.

Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of.

All self-talk is driven by important beliefs that you hold about yourself. It plays an understated but powerful role in success because it can both spur you forward to achieve your goals and hold you back.

As Henry Ford said, “He who believes he can and he who believes he cannot are both correct.”

TalentSmart has tested the emotional intelligence (EQ) of more than a million people and found that 90% of top performers are high in EQ. These successful, high EQ individuals possess an important skill—the ability to recognize and control negative self-talk so that it doesn’t prevent them from reaching their full potential.

These successful people earn an average of $28,000 more annually than their low EQ peers, get promoted more often, and receive higher marks on performance evaluations. The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary.

When it comes to self-talk, we’ve discovered six common, yet toxic, beliefs that hold people back more than any others. Be mindful of your tendencies to succumb to these beliefs, so that they don’t derail your career:

Toxic Belief #1: Perfection = Success

Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.

Toxic Belief #2: My Destiny is Predetermined

Far too many people succumb to the highly irrational idea that they are destined to succeed or fail. Make no mistake about it, your destiny is in your own hands, and blaming multiple successes or failures on forces beyond your control is nothing more than a cop out. Sometimes life will deal you difficult cards to play, and others times you’ll be holding aces. Your willingness to give your all in playing any hand you’re holding determines your ultimate success or failure in life.

Toxic Belief #3: I “Always” or “Never” Do That

There isn’t anything in life that you always or never do. You may do something a lot or not do something enough, but framing your behavior in terms of “always” or “never” is a form of self-pity. It makes you believe that you have no control of yourself and will never change. Don’t succumb to it.

Toxic Belief #4: I Succeed When Others Approve of Me

Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain you’re never as good or bad as they say you are. It’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, but you can take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what people think about you, your self-worth comes only from within.

Toxic Belief #5: My Past = My Future

Repeated failures can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe you’ll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time, these failures result from taking risks and trying to achieve something that isn’t easy. Just remember that success lies in your ability to rise in the face of failure. Anything worth achieving is going to require you to take some risks, and you can’t allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed.

Toxic Belief #6: My Emotions = Reality

If you’ve read Emotional Intelligence 2.0, you know how to take an objective look at your feelings and separate fact from fiction. If not, you might want to read it. Otherwise, your emotions will continue to skew your sense of reality, making you vulnerable to the negative self-talk that can hold you back from achieving your full potential.

Here’s everything you need to know in order to make your first million.

While you may be looking to make your first million off of your business alone, the fact of the matter is that becoming a millionaire does not just come about by raking in profits from your business. It arises from the decisions that you make in your day-to-day life as well. There are more millionaires than ever nowadays, and it’s not because the financial market is good; in fact, it is pretty common knowledge that the economy has definitely seen better days, and the people able to find success in it know how to act accordingly. To become the next millionaire, you will need to blend business practices with responsible financial decisions in order to both maximize profits and squirrel away some cash for the winter. Even though this is easier said than done, the things that you have to do to become the next millionaire are theoretically fairly easy.

Buy The Things That You Need

Even though one of the reasons people strive to become millionaires is to be able to afford the things that they want to do, living in a house far too big for your needs or shelling out on a vehicle more luxurious than you require is going to set you back in your goals.

Spend Less Than You Earn

This is saving money and accruing wealth 101, but even old advice can be good advice, and such is the case with this.

Make Sure That You Can Pay Off the Things That You Buy

And the quicker you can pay them off, the better! This will enable you to search for a job that you love and will therefore be more conducive to putting you closer to your goals.

Exercising Patience

It may be really tempting to up your quality of living or your lifestyle expectations as you begin accruing more money and assets to make you into a millionaire, but you will not reach your goal by taking some out of the pot.

Utilize Automatic Paycheck Deductions

You cannot spend what you do not have, so having these set up with your bank is going to help you save money better than many other tactics will.

Pay Off Your Credit Cards Every Month

Having a good credit score is always a strong financial situation to be in, but making sure that you can afford what you are spending is even better when you are trying to become a millionaire.

Use Time to Your Advantage

The quicker you start saving, the better. If you begin saving in your twenties or thirties, you will be able to take advantage of compounding interest and put yourself in a better position without having to do much extra work.

Realize That Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

When you are working for a wholesome goal instead of a ploy to satisfy material urges, your goals will come to you faster and easier.

Realize That ‘Life Happens’

Having a bit of money on the side separate from your millionaire fund will keep you on a steady track toward that goal; after all, you never know when a financial emergency will rear its ugly head.

Focus on Being Debt Free

Even if you have income coming in every month, if you have any sort of debt, you need to be deducting that from your gain–if it comes out negative, you are not financially free, and will not be able to achieve your millionaire dreams yet. In order to be the next millionaire, you have to make sure that your debts are all paid.

Work Hard And Diligently

If you keep putting in the effort, it will be easier to make amends after a financial mishap.

Get a Second Job

Not only will it add to your savings that much faster, but also if you stay busy you will have no time to spend the money that you are trying to save.

Don’t Be Afraid to Have a Big Vision

Most modest savings plans do not end up panning out as the people who made them would have liked. Having a vision larger than what you can currently deliver will actually be the best way to ensure that you meet your goal.

Have Good Money Management Skills

Keep up to date on what you need to know to manage your money, and realize that without good management, it will never grow or mature into what you would like it to be.

Do What You Enjoy

Working in a field you enjoy will be one of the fastest routes to financial freedom and success, as you will spend more time at work and excel at it, putting you in a better position for promotions and pay increases.

Pay Yourself First

This will keep you satisfied and will help you achieve financial success with your goals.

Go Out And Find Your Money

Simply saving and hoping that it will come to you will never be good enough. You will only receive what you earn.

Invest in Yourself

Without furthering your education or professional development, there will be nothing to set you apart from others, and no reason for your employer to aid you in your goals.

Invest in Property When You Do Buy Assets

Having property on hand is always going to be a good asset, as there are always buyers for property and property values are beginning to climb again, healing from the collapse in 2008. Claire and Polly can help you with this part.

Realize That There Is More Than One Way to Approach a Problem

Being versatile will lead you quickest to the solutions for your problems.

There’s certainly no surefire way to becoming a millionaire. After all, if there was, everyone would be making millions. However, if you manage to blend the right business practices with solid personal finance skills, there’s no telling where you’ll end up. Follow these 20 guidelines, and you, too, can become the next millionaire.

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One of the biggest secrets to maximizing your success comes down to whether you have a “giving” versus “taking” style to your business, says best-selling author Adam Grant.

Nice guys don’t always finish last. In fact, if you want to climb your way to the top in the business world, the more you give, the more you stand to get, says Adam Grant, best-selling author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success (Penguin Group, 2013).

Grant’s book debunks a common myth in business that in order to get ahead, you have to put your own ambitions first. Instead, Grant’s book reviews countless studies that show the opposite: Those who put others first and adopt a giving mindset of helping others most often reap the biggest results in revenue and productivity.

Indeed, Grant’s book points to research that shows the average salesperson with a “giving” style brought in 68 percent more revenue than salespeople with a “taking” approach, those who put their own ambitions first.

However, givers can sometimes give too much time and energy without payoff.

“Givers can start out at a disadvantage in selling situations,” says Grant, a professor of management at The Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania whose research has included looking at the real estate industry, among others. “They tend to be uncomfortable in pushy pitch or aggressive sales situations.”

But givers can be more effective, says Grant, especially since they tend to ask more questions and learn more about their clients’ interests.

“They end up delivering something better suited to what their clients are looking for,” he says. “By putting their clients’ interests first, they build more trust and are taken more seriously when they do make a recommendation. They see more of an increase in referrals and repeat business too.”

What Style Are You?

How do you approach customers, colleagues, and others during the majority of your workplace situations? Are you a “giver,” a “taker,” or a “matcher”? Self-assess your style to determine what social orientation you gravitate toward and to be able to identify others’ styles. Then, as Grant notes, if a new person approaches you at a networking event enthusiastically wanting to connect, you’ll be able to distinguish those who are genuine from those who are desiring something in return.

Grant illustrates the three following social styles:

Takers: They tend to prioritize their own interests over others’. They routinely ask others for favors, but rarely reciprocate. While there can be short-term advantages to putting your self-interests first, takers eventually experience relationship costs and tend to burn bridges with others who feel taken advantage of.

Takers can be good fakers, disguising their interests and often taking advantage of those who are givers. But you can often spot a taker by the words they use. For example, they tend to use singular pronouns like “I, me, myself, or mine” versus first-person plural pronouns like “we, us, ours.” On social networks, they tend to be more self-promoting in their posts and tend to boast of a large social network of friends, so they have a large crowd to advertise their accomplishments to.

Givers: They tend to be “other” focused, paying careful attention to what others need from them and act generous in their time, energy, and skills to help others. They will unselfishly offer mentoring, share credit for achievements, or make connections for others. They don’t worry about what’s in it for them in exchange. They tend to earn more respect, trust, and prestige from others due to their generosity, but they can often be viewed as “doormats,” be exploited, and may suffer from burnout or lack of productivity by giving too much.

Matchers: They strive to preserve an equal balance of giving and getting. They operate on the idea of fairness or “tit for tat.” When they help others, they seek reciprocity. Likewise, when they ask for a favor, they feel like they’ll owe one back.

All three styles can achieve success, Grant notes, but givers have been found to be more successful. One reason is that they accumulate crowds of supporters who are rooting for them to get to the top and will even help them get there.

4 Ways to be More of a Giver

You don’t have to be a Gandhi or Mother Teresa in the workplace to be an effective giver, Grant says. There are many ways to adopt a giving approach, big and small. Here are a few successful “giver” traits:

1. Offer up the 5-minute favor

Look for ways to do quick favors for others, setting out to “add value,” not just “trade value,” Grant notes. Look for favors you can do for others that will take you five minutes or less, without expecting anything in return. The “five-minute favor” is a strategy coined by Adam Forrest Rifkin, known as the “giant panda of programming” who attributes a giving approach to helping him achieve success in business.

One of the easiest five-minute favors is to connect others, such as by reviewing your LinkedIn and Facebook networks and looking for pairs of people from your network to introduce one another to, Grant suggests. Or, offer up a recommendation to recognize someone’s accomplishments, such as through a LinkedIn recommendation. You might even ask others — such as “What are you stuck on?” or “What challenges are you facing?” — to identify areas where you can help.

2. Adopt powerless communication

Surprisingly, “powerless communication,” or tentative speech, can be more influential and powerful, Grant says. Tentative speech may project that the speaker lacks confidence or authority.

Powerless communication may include hesitations, such as “well,” “you know,” or “um,” or disclaimers like “this may be a bad idea, but …” Powerless communication may use tag questions, such as “that’s interesting, isn’t it?”

This form of communication can look like a form of collaborating and less like you’re telling others what to do. Therefore, it can earn you more respect and influence, Grant says.

Asking questions is another form of powerless communication. Questions can be even more effective when the person to whom you’re talking is skeptical of you, when you lack credibility, or during highly competitive negotiation situations, Grant says. Such questions as a person’s intentions and plans can help others reach their own conclusions and help you gain more knowledge about your customer’s needs.

Grant says powerless communication is actually what drew him to picking out his real estate agent recently. His agent, he says, was very clear about his expertise and also about what he didn’t know. If he wasn’t an expert on something, he made it clear he would refer Grant to someone who would know the answer. “He didn’t create a facade that he had all the answers,” Grant says. “He made himself more trustworthy.”

3. Don’t be selfless, but “otherish”

Givers can land at the bottom of the workplace when they adopt a “selfless” style, instead of an “otherish” style, Grant says. With an “otherish” approach, givers don’t just give at their own expense, but they achieve their goals and their clients’ goals at the same time, creating a win-win situation.

When their giving is not aligned with their professional or organization goals, givers risk being less productive, a common problem for them, Grant says.

“You can’t say yes to every request,” Grant says. The most successful givers are specialists, not generalists. Instead of helping in a lot of ways, they choose one or two forms of giving that they are uniquely qualified for. Then their giving becomes efficient and energizing rather than distracting.

4. Ask for help more often

Givers can’t be afraid to ask others for help. In fact, you’ll be creating an opportunity for others to feel valued.

However, many givers are uncomfortable asking for help. They don’t want others to feel burdened or they don’t want to be viewed as incompetent, needy, or looking like a “taker.”

But most giving in the workplace comes from direct requests for help, Grant says. So if you want others to be givers, one of the easiest ways is just by asking, Grant says. Ask for a five-minute favor. Many givers also ask for help by asking assistance for helping someone else.

Some businesses have formalized this by creating a “reciprocity ring,” such as creating groups of people who swap requests for help. For example, Grant notes that BNI is a business networking organization with this idea in mind; Humax also offers a suite of social networking tools for individuals and organizations to create a reciprocity ring.

One of the biggest pitfalls between failed and successful givers are that successful givers tend to be the ones who are able to ask for help.

“If you never ask for help, you are depriving other givers in life of being a giver,” Grant says. “You can’t be the only one who gets to give. There can be two sides of giving and receiving.”