How to be a good wife…in 1955

A Good Housekeepingarticle from 1955 explains 18 things to do in order to be a good wife. Although there is some question on the authenticity of this piece, there’s no doubt the sentiment expressed in it was omnipresent in the 50’s. Either way it inspired us to take a look at how it advised women act during a time when cleaning and cooking were a full time job. I’ll admit, some of these could earn some serious wifey points. Others are a big ole’ box of HELL NOPE.

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The alleged article.

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”Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.”

Does planning ahead for carryout count? Granted I do have to call around noon to have a five o’clock pick up ready from hubby’s favorite Asian takeout.

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”Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.”

Do yoga pants count? I mean, they do make my ass look nice…

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“Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.”

Take a page right out of “Fifty Shades” and have that red room of pain ready.

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“Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.”

Technically my husband gets home from work before me. So, cross this one off the list.

”Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.”

Substitute schoolbooks for cat toys and cat hair for dust.

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”Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces. comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum.”

Wait a minute, children? Not to mention quiet children? Is this even possible?

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”Be happy to see him.”

I’d sure hope you’d be happy to see your husband. If not, maybe he shouldn’t be your husband anymore?

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”Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.”

According to my husband the modern day translation means, “BJ.” Ya, right.

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”Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”

Remind yourself while you’re listening, if he talks first at least you’ll get the last word!

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“Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home later or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.”

Basically my full time job was to be my husband’s ottoman.

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“Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.”

I thought gathering wood and sparking a fire was “Man’s Work” in the 50’s. I see what you did there.

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“Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.”

Spirit or spirits? Spirits can bring on peace and tranquility! Especially spirits of the distilled variety.

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”Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.”

Instead, keep your problems to yourself. This will allow him to strengthen his mindreading skills in an attempt to guess what’s wrong. Men LOVE this game!

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”Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.”

If my husband stays out all night, complaining will be the least of his worries.

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”Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.”

Glass of wine for him, rest of the bottle for me!

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“Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.”

Take off shoes? We’re not even going to go there.

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“Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.”

I beg to differ, especially when Netflix is involved.

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”A good wife always knows her place.”

Yes, my place is right here in 2016.

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Alright ladies, I’m thinking we’re a good sixty years overdue for the next, “Good Wife Guide”. What do you think we need to include? Personally, I think as long as I can pick up takeout on my way home and make sure laundry is done so I can wear clean yoga pants at night; I’m doing a damn fine job!
Also, this.

Dana is an engineer by trade who enjoys crafting and creating. She also loves cats, hockey, traveling, food, running, and eating the occasional cupcake. Dana is from the heart of South West Michigan’s wine and beer country (Yes, it really does exist!) near the balmy shores of Lake Michigan. Her love of travel and food is so intense, she’s been known to drive twelve hours, just for a sandwich.