This condition is a highly contagious deep tissue infection caused by being a raving douche bag. Should one be fortunate enough to contract the condition, a cure is attainable through excessive fisting with a studded metal gauntlet.

It is a more advanced stage of the well-known cancaids but contracted in a vastly different manner.

Mitchell was unable to sit down all week last week due to his explosive anal cancaids.

His ability to easily accept a studded metal gauntlet in his anus was his saving grace.