i know this is more of a one shot but you should do a second chapter. perhaps title it "Sex on the beach". you know a screaming orgasm, sex on the beach. alcholic drinks made sexual u know. just an idea

I must say that I am truely irritated about this story. Everything in it reminds me A LOT of my one shot "Red Hot Lover", that has been posted on this site (and even longer on another) for quite some time.

The parallels are actually so striking, that they cannot be a coincidence This is plagiarism, and it's not even veiled. What's worse, this isn't even nicely written! If you steal a scenario that somebody else already used, why don't you at least chose something that was a nice idea but poorly written?

I am VERY angry right now and I am really thinking if I can report this somehow.