Created to carry the message of recovery to all addicts. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, food or any other addiction the program of recovery is the same. I am a recovering alcoholic of over twenty years, a day at a time of course and I believe my primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve recovery. Remember seven days without a meeting makes one weak. Sign up to get emails.This Blog is not affiliated to either A.A. or N.A. Help to stop drinking.

Nothing great was ever achieved without overcoming great obstacles, and no hero of history deserves more acclaim than those who were triumphant over self. But do not let us swell up too much with pride. If we are honest, we know that with our character-weakened souls, with our “fogbound” brains, we could accomplish nothing of ourselves. It was only when we, in our desperate surrender, threw our lives and our wills into His keeping that He, in His mercy, removed the obstacle. Unknown, even to ourselves, there must have slept in us that Faith of a mustard seed, that can remove mountains.

"A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating tosome men that they have over-indulged. Couples are occasionallydismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to beimpotent. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotionalupset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a fewmonths, a finer intimacy than ever. There should be no hesitancy inconsulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. We donot know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long."

“Who would then deny that when I am sipping tea in my tearoom I am swallowing the whole universe with it and that this very moment of my lifting the bowl to my lips is eternity itself transcending time and space?”

Most of us embody disparate aspects in our personalities; these are our forms, the way we take shape. If we aren’t careful, we can become confused by such complexity. We should not deny any part of ourselves. We should arrange them. All elements are valid — they must simply be placed in the right context.

Those who follow Tao understand that a diverse personality is problematic only if some aspects dominate to the exclusion of the others. This is unbalanced. If there is constant alteration between all aspects, then equilibrium is possible. Like the planets, feelings, instincts, and emotions must be kept in a constantly rotating order. Then all things have their place and the problems of excess are avoided.

Just as the sun is at the center of our solar system, so too must the mind of wisdom be the center of our diverse personalities. If our minds are strong, then the various parts of our lives will be held firmly to their proper courses, and there will be no chance of deviation.

When someone tells us we should do something, do we want to do it, or do we feel mad that someone else is telling us what we want to do? Sometimes we forget that these messages are not our own, but are the desires of others. It’s important to listen to what we tell ourselves, to be aware of which messages we’re giving ourselves and which come from others. We can make a list of all our shoulds and identify where they came from: parent, boss, friend, self. Then we can decide which shoulds are want to’s, and throw out the rest. Doing what we want to is very different from doing what we should, and we can usually do a better job of it.

“In sharing, in loving all and everything, one people naturally found a due portion of the thing they sought, while in fearing, the other found need of conquest.”

–Chief Luther Standing Bear, SIOUX

There are two systems of thought that are available for us to choose from. One is the love-thought system and the other is the fear- thought system. If we choose love, we will see the laws, principles and values of the Creator. If we choose fear, the results will be so paralyzing that it will cause us to take over and not rely on the Great Spirit. The fear-thought system will automatically cause attack, conflict, need to control over others. The love-thought system seeks peace of mind, unity and causes us to be love seekers.

I’ve spent too much of my life worrying about the future. This was especially true with every diet I was ever on. I was always concerned about how much weight I was going to be able to lose in a certain amount of time. I always thought about tomorrow and what tomorrow would bring instead of staying in the present.

Today, my Higher Power is teaching me to keep my eyes on Him instead of on the calendar. I am more successful and more at peace when I remain in the present and follow my Higher Power’s will.

One day at a time . . .I will keep my thoughts in the present, for my Higher Power will take care of tomorrow.

One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seem that they have it all together, while I’m still stumbling about. Thankfully, I’m beginning to understand that people-leasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I’ve also begun to realize that it’s possible for me to change my old patterns. Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I’ll hear some wonderful things?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions which for so long I refused to hear or name or own, which festered in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, listen to the inner me.

“We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world — or to make it the last.”

— John F. KennedyWar is tragic because it always destroys; it kills creation itself. People, buildings, relationships, trust, hope, culture, history, youth — they all disappear behind a puff of smoke. The immensity of war is such that it cannot be fully comprehended. Only isolated aspects can be understood: a child is maimed, a treaty is broken, a race is blamed, bullets are heard and a history that existed within a human life is ended in silence.

Addiction is a kind of war — a silent war that exists within an individual and family. People, trust, buildings, hope, culture, history and youth disappear behind a glass or a pill. Creation is attacked from the inside; God is forgotten in an act of destructive selfishness.

We need to remember what got us well. The Twelve Steps heal us. The meetings we attend heal us.

Reading and listening to program tapes heals us. Talking with our sponsors heals us. The time we spend with program friends heals us. Sometimes we’re pressed for time. As a result, we have to make choices about how to use our time. We may think we know enough about the program. We may feel like cutting down on meetings. These are danger signs. We only know how to stay sober One Day at a Time: by working the Steps. Let’s not forget them as we grow in this program. It may seem like we’ve been recovering a long time, but we’re all beginners.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I’ve found You in the program. Help me find ways to stay a “beginner” in the program.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll take time to read the Twelve Steps. I’ll meditate on how much these Steps have given me.

Today, I will live just for today. I cannot nor do I want to forget yesterday for it has lessons to carry into tomorrow; nor do I want to be so preoccupied with tomorrow that I neglect today for I may miss some unintended good that someone or something has to offer. I can plan for tomorrow going to church and doing whatever routine chore needs done, but I cannot fret over tomorrow and dread what demons or challenges my yesterdays programmed me to expect. But that programming from my yesterdays was dictated by a whiskey bottle and, God granting, there is no whiskey bottle in my today. I therefore cannot fear that what I do today will poison my tomorrow. My life, my sobriety, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my recovery – all are today. Today is all I have, and I must not be lax in strengthening it to make tomorrow’s today the promise of something good. And our common journey continues.

While open-mindedness is supposedly virtuous, many of us have difficulty with it. In our drinking, we continued to suffer because we were unwilling to believe that anything could relieve us of our condition. We also feared that change would diminish us.

Our great liberation came in opening up our minds to new ideas. This same process might be needed to sober living. We may have an investment in old attitudes and ideas that are keeping us from constructive growth. Without giving up our attitudes immediately, we can at least give new ideas hones consideration and study.

True open-mindedness does not mean empty-mindedness. We still can have strong convictions, consistent values, and definite opinions. But in the spirit of open-mindedness, we should continuously reexamine our views and adopt new ideas for improvement and growth.

Open-mindedness helped bring us to sobriety. It can also open the doors to other blessings that will bring enrichment and happiness.

I will be open-minded and curious today. New ideas can bring wonderful benefits to me if I am willing to consider them.

“In God’s economy, nothing is wasted. through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.”

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We did not always come closer to wisdom by reason of our virtues; our better understanding is often rooted in the pains of our former follies. Because this has been the essence of our individual experience, it is also the essence of our experience as a fellowship.

Drinking cuts you off from God. No matter how you were brought up, no matter what your religion is, no matter if you say you believe in God, nevertheless you build up a wall between you and God by your drinking. You know you’re not living the way God wants you to. As a result, you have that terrible remorse. When you come into A.A., you begin to get right with other people and with God. A sober life is a happy life, because by giving up drinking we’ve got rid of our loneliness and remorse. Do I have real fellowship with other people and with God?

Meditation For The DayI believe that all sacrifice and all suffering is of value to me. When I am in pain, I am being tested. Can I trust God, no matter how I feel? Can I say Thy will be done, no matter how much I am defeated? If I can, my faith is real and practical. It works in bad times as well as in good times. The Divine Will is working in a way that is beyond my finite mind to understand, but I can still trust in it.

Prayer For The DayI pray that I may take my suffering in my stride. I pray that I may accept pain and defeat as part of God’s plan for my spiritual growth.

“Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.”

—Basic Text p. 90

Learning to trust is a risky proposition. Our past experience as using addicts has taught us that our companions could not be trusted. Most of all, we couldn’t trust ourselves.

Now that we’re in recovery, trust is essential. We need something to hang onto, believe in, and give us hope in our recovery. For some of us, the first thing we can trust is the words of other members sharing in meetings; we feel the truth in their words.

Finding someone we can trust makes it easier to ask for help. And as we grow to trust in their recovery, we learn to trust our own.

Just for today: I will decide to trust someone. I will act on that trust.

The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . . We stay whole, or A.A. dies.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129

Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward.

Without it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would recover. The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts.

Friday, 30 January 2015

Today, I will work for progress instead of perfection. And, in recognizing the difference, I might learn patience over impatience not only with others, but with myself. Progress requires that I focus on just this day while perfection forces me to look to the unrealistic and unattainable goals beyond today. And by preoccupying myself with tomorrow, I am likely to neglect something today – and that failure will likely sabotage any tomorrow I might have. Tomorrow will hold nothing good if I neglect today. Today, then, will be focused on one thing at a time and first things first. And our common journey continues.

After several years on the Program, we still have to guard against rationalizing. When it comes to selling ourselves a bill of goods, we are tops. Our drinking was most always occasioned by a “good reason,” or so we thought; the real reason – the fact that we were alcoholics and therefore compulsive drinkers – never occurred to us. A good reason can always be found for our actions, but the real reason is frequently obscure. Lord, teach us to know the difference.

“When you forget the good and the non-good, the worldly life and the religious life, and all other dharmas, and permit no thoughts relating to them to arise, and you abandon body and mind—then there is complete freedom. When the mind is like wood or stone, there is nothing to be discriminated.”

Nocturnal downpourWakes the lovers,Floods the valley.Making love is natural. Why be ashamed of it?

That seems simple, but it is actually a great challenge in these complex times. Too many other layers of meaning have been imposed upon sex. Religions straitjacket it, ascetics deny it, romantics glorify it, intellectuals theorize about it, obsessives pervert it. These actions have nothing to do with lovemaking. They come from fanaticism and compulsive behavior. Can we actually master the challenge of having lovemaking be open and healthy?

Sex should not be used as leverage, manipulation, selfishness, or abuse. It should not be a ground for our personal compulsions and delusions.

Sexuality is an honest reflection of our innermost personalities, and we should ensure that its expression is healthy. Making love is something mysterious, sacred, and often the most profound interaction between people. Whether what is created is a relationship or pregnancy, the legacy of both partners will be inherent in their creation. What we put into love determines what we get out of it.

Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. Take your own color in the pattern and be just that.

—Charles R. Brown

We are often amazed at how different members of the same family seem to be. Contrasts are often great: one child might be loud and funny, one might be timid and quiet, and yet neither seems to take after the parents. A family is like a vegetable garden. The vegetables respond to outside influences. The one exposed to more sunlight will grow differently than the one growing in a damp, shady place. Vegetables growing in crowded areas of the garden may not be as developed as those around them, but they might be tastier. Although we may have common roots, outside experiences and friends mold us too, making each of us unique. We sometimes lose ourselves by comparisons and feel as if we don’t belong, but the variety of our family garden is what makes the world so interesting.

“Bright days and dark days were both expressions of the Great Mystery, and the Indian revelled in being close to the Great Holiness.”

–Chief Luther Standing Bear, SIOUXThe Great Spirit created a world of harmony, a world of justice, a world that is interconnected, a balanced world that has positive and negative, this way and that way, up and down, man and woman, boy and girl, honest and dishonest, responsible and irresponsible, day and night. In other words, He created a polarity system. Both sides are to be respected. Both sides or anything are sacred. We need to do good and we need to learn from our mistakes. We need to honor what takes place in the daytime and we need to honor what takes place in the nighttime. WE learn that we need to learn and we see what we are supposed to see by staying close to the Great Spirit. We need to be talking to Him all the time, saying “Grandfather, what is it you want me to learn?”

Great Spirit, let me learn today that all things are sacred. Help me stay close to You, my Creator.

…To dry my eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and start again…

–Robert Browning

(1812– 1889) British poet and playwright

When things didn’t go my way, I would stamp my feet, lose my temper, and walk away. I was the world’s greatest quitter!

The Twelve Step program of recovery teaches me that when I trip over something, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over at any time. I can turn whatever I stumble over into an opportunity for growing and learning.

One Day at a Time …When confronted by roadblocks to my recovery, I can humble myself and ask my Higher Power, “What do YOU want for me to learn from this?” I can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and move on in my recovery journey.

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”

— Johann W. von Goethe

My program of recovery from alcoholism helps me have a relationship with myself and helps me relate to and understand others. The more I understand my strengths and weaknesses, the more I am able to understand others.

Any understanding of spirituality involves other people. If spirituality helps me become what God intends for me, then this is also true for others. Today I choose to treat myself and other people as children of God, remembering that we were created to reach for the skies!

Have I gained freedom simply because one day I was weak and the next day I became suddenly strong? Have I changed from the helpless and hopeless person I once seemed to be simply by resolving, “from now on, things will be different…”? Is the fact that I am more comfortable today than ever before the result of my own willpower? Can I take credit for pulling myself up by my own bootstraps? I know better, for I sought refuge in a Power greater than myself — a Power which is still beyond my ability to visualize. Do I consider the change in my life a miracle far beyond the workings of any human power?

Today I PrayAs the days of sobriety lengthen, and the moment of decision becomes farther behind me, may I never lose sight of the Power that changed my life. May I remember that my sobriety is an ongoing miracle, not just a once-in-a-lifetime transformation.

We’ve been given recovery. For this, we’re lucky. And we’re grateful. Now it’s up to us.

We must accept our choices. When we’re afraid, do we choose to be alone? Or do we choose to go to extra meeting? When we’re not honest, do we keep it secret? Or do we admit it and try to be more honest? No matter what we choose, we’re responsible for that choice. Through choices, we either make our program strong or weak. We can choose to be lucky. Or we can choose not to be.

The choice is ours. Our addiction robbed us of choice. It taught us to blame others. Now we see ourselves as responsible.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to choose wisely. Help me remember I’m responsible for my choices.

Action for the Day: Today I’ll work at being responsible for my choices. I’ll see myself as one of the lucky ones.

No Justified ResentmentsPersonal InventoryOne of the greatest hurdles in sobriety is the so-called justified resentment. We feel that we have a right to be angry at somebody who has hurt or offended us. This feeling might be correct if our anger could remedy the matter and bring it to a just conclusion, but this hardly ever happens. If we are angry, we usually want revenge more than we want justice. Uncontrolled anger will make us behave as unjustly as those who harmed us did. This means more trouble.

Whether revenge is sought or not, anger also poisons our own lives. Emmet Fox compared it to the insane practice of drinking prussic acid. People cannot take a drink of acid and then assign it to the person they detest. They will bear its effect in their own bodies. In the same way, our anger produces its own acids, which destroy our peace of mind and make us ineffective.

We can deal with “justified resentment” by reminding ourselves that there’s no justification for the pain and sickness a festering resentment will cause in our lives. There is no justified resentment.

Today I may have to swim against the tide by not getting upset over matters that enrage others. I will not let myself be drawn into the angry currents around me.

“Sometimes, we become depressed. I ought to know; I have been a champion dry-bender case myself. While the surface causes were a part of the picture–trigger-events that precipitated depression–the underlying causes, I am satisfied, ran much deeper.

“Intellectually, I could accept my situation. Emotionally, I could not.

“To these problems, there are certainly no pat answers. But part of the answer surely lies in the constant effort to practice all of A.A.’s Twelve Steps.”

A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship. Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your wife and children, your family and real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You’re cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you’re terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness?

Meditation For The Day

I will sometimes go into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work which God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies.Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace.

“We must give freely and gratefully that which has been freely and gratefully given to us.”Basic Text p. 47

In recovery, we receive many gifts. Perhaps one of the greatest of these gifts is the spiritual awakening that begins when we stop using, growing stronger each day we apply the steps in our lives. The new spark of life within is a direct result of our new relationship with a Higher Power, a relationship initiated and developed by living the Twelve Steps. Slowly, as we pursue our program, the radiance of recovery dispels the darkness of our disease.

One of the ways we express our gratitude for the gifts of recovery is to help others find what we’ve found. We can do this in any number of ways: by sharing in meetings, making Twelfth Step calls, accepting a commitment to sponsorship, or volunteering for H&I or phoneline duty. The spiritual life given to us in recovery asks for expression, for ” we can only keep what we have by giving it away.”

Just for today: The gift of recovery grows when I share it. I will find someone with whom to share it.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear – fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to – freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a “new” freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!

Thursday, 29 January 2015

29JanuaryOn that awful day when the world had toppled about us, when all hope had departed and only wild desperation remained, then was the night darkest and nearest was the dawn. At this darkest hour, we “hit our bottom.” There was no way to go but UP.

As dawn follows darkness in Nature’s scheme, so darkness follows again in its turn. All things, save God, are transitory and what one day can bring, another day can take away. Let us not feel too secure in our sobriety, for darkness will come in the regular course of events, and we must be sure we have provided ourselves with the Light which will enable us to keep our footing on the slippery paths ahead.Copyright Hazelden Foundation

29JanuaryToday, I will harness the gifts of the Program – courage, strength, hope, wisdom of my Higher Power, compassion, passion – and work them for another person’s whose needs are far more urgent and desperate than mine. I will not accept that other person’s intellect or any others barriers as an excuse to permit his voice from being heard. Today, MY voice will be HIS, and his desperate struggle for help will no longer be his silent and lonely fight. And in helping this person who cannot help himself, I am driven by the knowledge that my Higher Power has sent this person to me and He will give me the knowledge to carry out His will. And, in the end, if I am effective in helping this someone else, I will NOT accept outside congratulations save my ego being fuelled beyond acceptable boundaries. And, in advocating for someone else today, I won’t have the time, I’ll have no reason or excuse, to use or drink. I will be too busy carrying out the commandment of the Program. And our common journey continues.

28JanuaryMan was created in the image of God. We are told that the heart of man is the Temple of the Holy Ghost. A realization of this fact makes the desecration of the body as sacrilegious as the desecration of any church.

We alcoholics have a lot of mess to clean up in our Temples in order to make them a fit place for communion with the God in us.

If we really want God to work in and through us in the rehabilitation of other alcoholics, we must provide Him at least a clean workshop.

Today, at day’s end, I will look back on this day and know by the grace of God that I did the best I could in all my affairs. If, in prayer and meditation, I find that I have not fully surrendered to my Higher Power some problem or character defect, I will know I have asked my HP for the wisdom and humility to surrender it once and for all and that, if there is a tomorrow for me, I may be one day closer to that total surrender. I will not have reason, at day’s end, to regret some communication with someone else because I was either cruel or indifferent to their needs or feelings. I will be grateful that, throughout this day, I will not have had a “temptation” to take the first drink that always leads to disaster, and I will go to sleep tonight with the comfort that my Higher Power on this day blessed me with the words, “Well done, my child.” And our common journey continues.

~ Bumper StickerWe’re part of the fellowship we call “the program.” Let’s also remember that we’re part of a larger fellowship called ” the human race.” We all hurt the same. We all love the same. We all need understanding and care. Yet, in other ways, we are not all the same. Let’s remember to understand differences among people. If not, we’ll be afraid of anyone who’s not like us. And this isn’t God’s way.Prayer for the Day:Higher Power, help me to love all people. Help me be open to others who are different from me. Help me love my neighbor. Action for the Day: Do I think I'm better than others? If that's true, I'll pray that my higher power will remove this shortcoming of mine.

“If you wish to know the taste of seawater and you live on an island, set out towards the coast and keep going. When you reach the seashore all you then need to do is to bend down, put the finger into the water, and then into the mouth and you will know the taste of all the seven seas. So it is with freedom, it has but one single taste.” ~ Hakuin

A father without a fatherHas difficulty balancing.A master without a masterIs dangerous.

We look up to our parents, our teachers, and our leaders with trust and expectation. Their responsibility is to guide us, educate us, and even make judgments on our behalf when circumstances are uncertain. Ultimately, they are to bring us to the point where we can make our own decisions, based on the wisdom that they have helped us develop.

But the potential for abuse and mistakes is very great. What person can be right all the time? A simple lapse at the wrong time can cause confusion, psychological scars, and even great disaster. Harsh words during a child’s impressionable moments can engender years of problems. That is why we need a parent for the parent, a master for the master, and leaders for the leaders. This prevents errors of power. In the past, even kings had wise advisers. Every person who would be a leader should have such assistance.

Eventually, someone has to be at the top. And who will that person turn to? Let us invoke not deities but pragmatism. It is experience that is the ultimate teacher. That is why wise people travel constantly and test themselves against the flux of circumstance. It is only in this way that they can truly confirm their thoughts and compensate for their shortcomings.

Where do tears come from? Perhaps each of us has a private well where the tears rise from. Each of us has our own landscape of events that have hurt us or given us joy. And so we have our own private responses to the world around us. Something may hurt one of us that would not hurt another. Like the oceans and rivers, sometimes our well of tears is flowing. We do not always understand all the forces affecting the oceans, or our well of tears. The kind of bucket that draws water from a well is solid and durable, and it lowers itself deep enough to find water. Good friends and family members are like that. It is comforting to share our private well with such people.

“We call it the `sacred’ red road because it is the road that will lead us to living the good life, an honest and healthy life.”–Larry P. Aitken, CHIPPEWA

The Red Road is the path we walk on when we want a direct relationship with the Great Spirit. This requires sacrifice. This requires us to have our beliefs tested. To walk this path is really an honor. The returns for doing so are exciting, not only for ourselves but for the effect that will be felt for three generations. This means your children will see the benefits as well as your grandchildren. Do I want to walk this sacred road?

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

–Winston Churchill

My life before program consisted of one failure after the next. I could never master success with my eating, much less with my life in general.

Once I came into these rooms and started working the Twelve Steps, with a God of my understanding and the knowledge that God is in control of all in my life, I began to realize that life is NOT a series of failures, only slow successes.

One Day at a Time . . .I am a success if I keep on trying regardless of the outcome, because it is truly God’s will for me.

Reflection For The DayNow that I am in The Program, I am no longer enslaved by alcohol and other drugs. Free, free at last from the other drugs. Free, free at last from the morning-after tremors, the dry heaves, the three-day beard, the misplaced eyelashes. Free, free at last from working out the alibis and hopng they won’t unravel; free from blackouts; free from watching the clock so that I can somehow get that desperately-needed “first one.” Do I treasure my freedom from chemical enslavement?

Today I Pray

Praise God that I am free of chemicals. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop — freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from my enslavement.

“Education today, more than ever before, must see clearly the dual objectives: education for living and education for making a living.”

— James Mason Wood

The spiritual life is a productive life. Not only does it make for a prosperous life in every sense of the word but it makes for a creative lifestyle. Nothing is wasted on the spiritual man; he learns from his mistakes and doubts.

For too long I was stunted in my spiritual growth by negative and destructive thinking. I became dependent upon a sick self and attracted equally sick people. I used my education and knowledge to keep people out and remained isolated. I needed to change. I wanted to change. But how? As with everything else in life I needed to imitate those who were successful. I needed to be shown how to live a different way. I needed to discover the power of my spirituality. I found successful people. They helped me. Today I am able to help myself.

Easy does itAvoiding tensionAs people of excess, alcoholics tend to swing between periods of great activity and times of complete lassitude. There is a tendency to waste time at one point, and then overcompensate for it by working feverishly and frantically to catch up. Both ways are out of balance.

We need to approach life in a relaxed manner, letting the natural rhythm of events take over and do some of the work for us. Too much effort defeats itself. The overanxious person strives too hard and makes things worse, like the salesman who talks too long and kills the sale.

In the AA way of life, we expect and accept responsibilities. But we are not slavishly committed to success at any price. We make a full commitment to any project we undertake, and we do our best at all times. Then we let things unfold rather than trying to force them.

It is also common to hear people say, “EASY DOES IT, BUT DO IT!” This is a reminder that t he slogan is not a prescription for laziness and indifference. It is also a reminder to avoid high-pressure tactics and excessive pushing.

Troublemakers Can Be Teachers, p. 28Few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our A.A. reputation or effectiveness. Those who slip, those who panhandle. those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the program, those who trade on the A.A. reputation–all such persons seldom harm an A.A. group for long.

Some of these have become our most respected and best loved. Some have remained to try our patience, sober nevertheless. Others have drifted away. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility. We finally see that they are only people sicker than the rest of us, that we who condemn them are Pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage.Grapevine, August 1946

What a load hangovers put on your shoulders! What terrible physical punishment we’ve all been through. The pounding headaches and jumpy nerves, the shakes and the jitters, the hot and cold sweats! When you come into A.A. and stop drinking, that terrible load of hangovers falls off your shoulders. What a load remorse puts on your shoulders! That terrible mental punishment we’ve all been through. Ashamed of the things you’ve said and done. Afraid to face people because of what they might think of you. Afraid of the consequences of what you did when you were drunk. What an awful beating the mind takes! When you come into A.A., that terrible load of remorse falls off your shoulders. Have I gotten rid of these loads of hangovers and remorse?

Meditation For The Day

When you seek to follow the way of the spirit, it frequently means a complete reversal of the way of the world that you had previously followed. But it is a reversal that leads to happiness and peace. Do the aims and ambitions that a person usually strives for bring peace? Do the world’s awards bring heart rest and happiness? Or do they turn to ashes in the mouth?

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not be weary, disillusioned, or disappointed. I pray that I may not put my trust in the ways of the world, but in the way of the spirit.

An Every-Day Addict” We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean.”

Basic Text p. 80

After getting a little time in the program, some of us begin to think we have been cured. We’ve learned everything NA has to teach us; we’ve grown bored with the meetings; and our sponsor keeps droning the same old refrain: ” The steps-the steps-the steps!” We decide it is time to get on with our lives, cut way back on meetings, and try to make up for the years we have lost to active addiction. We do this, however, at the peril of our recovery.

Those of us who have relapsed after such an episode often try to go to as many meetings as we can-some of us go to a meeting every day for several years. It may take that long for us to understand that we will always be addicts. We may feel well some days and sick on other days, but we are addicts every day. At any time, we are subject to delusion, denial, rationalization, justification, insanity-all the hallmarks of the typical addict’s way of thinking. If we want to continue living and enjoying life without the use of drugs, we must practice an active program of recovery each day.Just for today: I am an addict every day, but today I have the choice to be a recovering addict. I will make that choice by practicing my program.

Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have — the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

"Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dreamworld has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by agrowing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have cometo believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him,but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is whereour fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done.These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatiblebetween a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happyusefulness."

Today, I treat with respect that the Program’s credo “Let Go and Let God” does not absolve me from responsibility for my condition as an alcoholic and from active participation in my redemption from the damage and pain to others of my drinking days. “Let Go and Let God” commands that I turn my will over to the Higher Power of my understanding to gain the knowledge of HIS will for me and “the power to carry (it) out.” It does not give me the easy out by expecting God to do it for me. In accepting an active role in my recovery instead of thinking it will come to me by reading the Big Book and going to meetings, I understand that sobriety is a two-level process; on the surface, I cannot drink; on a deeper level, I cannot expect a fundamental change in spiritual and emotional conditions that comes solely by not drinking. I am responsible for my condition as an alcoholic; likewise, I am responsible for my recovery. “Let Go and Let God” does not dismiss me from either responsibility. Today, I “Let Go and Let God” by surrendering MY self-will and listening for God to show me HIS will and how to carry it out. And our common journey continues.

27JanuaryWe alcoholics are the world’s greatest squanderers. During our drinking days we squandered our money, our health, our time, our intellect, our reputations, in fact everything – not for a purpose, but to make ourselves oblivious to the fact that we were doing so.

We who have accepted the AA way of living must never give up our old habit, but we should learn to spend ourselves for a constructive purpose.

That purpose is to help the other alcoholic. We are the best qualified people in the world for the job. Years of conditioning and thousands of dollars went into the process of making us experts. We have no other means of atoning for the past, no other way of showing our appreciation for the Grace of God which saved us, but to squander ourselves for this world-needed purpose.

Feasting is the flame in mid-winterThat kindles the fire of friendshipAnd strengthens the community.

In the past, feasting was a way to bind the community closer together. The same is true today. Whether they are cultural gatherings, times of group worship, or even special dinners with friends, we all need moments where we come together and reaffirm the importance of our group.

The cheer that we feel is essential both to the collective and the individuals involved. The affirmation of the group should not be a sublimation of the individual but rather a framework for involvement. A good gathering requires participation — the efforts of organization, work, and attendance — and in turn gives back sustenance for body and soul, a sense of belonging, and the accomplishment of something that could not be done by the individuals alone.

Like any other human endeavor, the feast is vulnerable to manipulation and politics, the selfish maneuvering of cynical individuals. This is difficult to avoid completely, for it is impossible for any group to truly be united. The only way to mitigate this is for the collective to keep its intentions strictly on its purpose, to select its leaders wisely, and for those leaders to be as enlightened as possible..

27January When men are rightfully occupied, then their amusement grows out of their work as the color petals out of a fruitful garden.

—John Ruskin

What do we need most in order to be happy? Certainly we all need to be loved. Yet we need even more than that. The spirit also wishes to be needed. When we are needed, no matter what age we are, we serve a purpose for others. When we are needed, we will be loved, as well as respected, imitated, and rewarded with gratitude. Our needs are not great empty pits to be filled any way we can. They are the couplings by which we connect to those we love. Our needs also tell us what others want, and how to enrich their lives–which also enriches ours. How do we become needed? We have only to look at our own needs and give what we need to others–love, respect, kindness, and generosity. When we realize we are needed, we realize we also need others.

“The journey to the Spirit World is a long one, my friend. But when you die, that doesn’t mean that this is the end.”

–—Buddy Red Bow, LAKOTA

The Elders tell us of the other dimension, the Spirit World. Our spirit in our bodies does not die, it only looks that way to our eyes and our brains. Some of our ceremonies allow us to see into the Spirit World. Death is only part of a process of life. It shows the transition into the Spirit World. The Elders tell us this is a joyful life journey.

My Creator, help me to understand both the seen world and the unseen world. Let me not be afraid of the world You live in.

We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing …but even that is a decision.–Gary Collins, PhD.

Clinical psychologist and well-known author in the field of counseling

I can’t recall if I ever learned that I had choices. I think it’s something a person learns as they grow up, but in my home, it was pretty much Mom’s way or the highway, and she had us all so scared of the highway that even THAT wasn’t much of a choice!

Imagine my utter shock when I came into the Twelve Step rooms and heard I had choices! I was a married woman by that time, one who had gone along with what everyone else said about anything and everything, and the only choice I seemed to make was how much I’d binge that day, if I’d purge, or if I’d be anorexic. Even that choice wasn’t in my hands, but in the hands of my disease.

In these recovery rooms I slowly learned about making choices and the responsibility that went with them. It’s been a freedom. It’s also allowed me to feel like an adult. As a young child I was put in the position of doing things only adults should be doing. So on one hand, I knew I had done things way before “my time.” Yet I still felt immature and naive. Learning to make my own choices and decisions has helped me to feel more mature and confident.

One Day at a Time . . .I will not fear making difficult decisions. I will remember I can use the principles of the program to help me make the proper choice.

I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just For Today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once?

Today I Pray

May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power May I have faith that God’s plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.

“Sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities.”

— Havelock Ellis

Sex is most beautiful because it enables the human being to experience and give love at an intimate and personal level. It also combines all the spiritual senses of body, mind and feeling in one expression, balancing tenderness with strength, patience with desire, need with selflessness.

Also the awareness and experience of a beautiful sexuality should be taken into all other manifestations of life — work, leisure, friendship, sports and prayer.

The gift of sex is one of our finest and most creative attributes and leads to all that is noble in man, therefore, it should not be used irresponsibly. Today I understand that I have a responsibility to the gifts that God has shared with me.May I find in my sexuality an awareness of You.

For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to “stinking thinking.” We didn’t believe in much of anything. We didn’t take risk. We always looked for the easier, softer way. In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risk. We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risk. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything—with the help of others.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I have learned to believe in You. Help me believe in myself. I have something to give to this world. Help me give it freely.

For countless reasons, people with drinking problems blunder into conflicts with others. It’s not unusual to hear that a person has not spoken to a relative for y ears as a result of some foolish misunderstanding. Some of us, sad to say, cling to old grievances even after we come into AA.

The key to peace in our lives is the slogan “Live and Let Live.” If we reflect on this slogan a bit, we want to live freely, and we ought to let others choose their lifestyles without interference from us. After all, if there was anything we alcoholics resented, it was the busybody who tried to shape our lives for us.

Nobody has the competence or understanding to tell us how we should live, nor should we try to control other people. We have a big job to do in overcoming our own problems. We have neither the time nor the wisdom to run other people’s lives.

“Live and Let Live,” if followed by every person and nation, would bring universal peace. We can use the slogan wisely to end conflicts in our lives and to terminate new ones before they develop into serious problems.

I’ll remember today that nobody appointed me guardian of my neighbors’ manners and morals. I have a full-time job keeping myself straight.

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

<< << << >> >> >>

We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.’s disciplinarians; we need no others.

An alcoholic carries an awful load around with them. What a load lying puts on your shoulders! Drinking makes liars out of all of us alcoholics. In order to get all the liquor we want, we have to lie all the time. We have to lie about where we’ve been and what we’ve been doing. When you are lying you are only half alive, because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. Have I got rid of that load of lying?

Meditation For The Day

I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places. Calm comes after a storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hates and selfishness, God’s love and peace and calm can come in.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may rid myself of all fears and resentments, so that peace and serenity may take their place. I pray that I may sweep my life clean of evil, so that good may come in.

Learning how to live again” We learn new ways to live. We are no longer limited to our old ideas.” Basic Text p. 54

We may or may not have been taught right from wrong and other basics of life as children. No matter, by the time we found recovery, most of us had only the vaguest idea of how to live. Our isolation from the rest of society had caused us to ignore basic human responsibilities and develop bizarre survival skills to cope with the world we lived in.

Some of us didn’t know how to tell the truth; others were so frank we wounded everyone we talked to. Some of us couldn’t cope with the simplest of personal problems, while others attempted solving the problems of the whole world. Some of us never got angry, even when receiving unfair treatment; others busily lodged complaints against everyone and everything.

Whatever our problems, no matter how extreme, we all have a chance in Narcotics Anonymous to learn how to live anew. Perhaps we need to learn kindness and how to care about others. Perhaps we need to accept personal responsibilities. Or maybe we need to overcome fear and take some risks. We can be certain of one thing: Each day, simply by living life, we’ll learn something new.

Just for today: I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I’ll know tomorrow. Today, I’ll learn something new.

Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to realize that blaming myself for all the trouble in my life can be an ego trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification.

Monday, 26 January 2015

“Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program.”

Basic Text, p. 76

A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it’s the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to use when they come true-as they often do.

We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.Just for today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict.

Today, I can simplify my Program as it has evolved to three concepts: choice, consequences, and responsibility. I understand now that drinking is a choice and the “reasons” I concoct to justify taking a drink are nothing more than rationalizations or contributing factors that I am surrendering my control to choose wisely. If I choose to drink, there are the inevitable consequences as all actions have consequences, and my long history with drinking proves that the consequences are usually the same, are never less and usually worsen. And with those consequences comes responsibility to them, and the consequences are predictable: a hangover, probable regret for what I did or said when I was drunk, maybe another DUI, possibly waking up in the county jail’s drunk tank – again. Today, the consequences are too high for me, and I don’t want to be responsible to them. And if I don’t want to be responsible to the consequences of drinking, the choice is clear and logical: choose not to drink. And I choose not to. And our common journey continues.

As long as we continue to think we will be happy in the future, we will never be happy in the moment, and that is the same as saying that we will never be happy. If we think that our lives will be better when we get that better job or retire, stay or go, gain or lose weight, or when our children grow and leave or come back, we are putting off the happiness that there is in today. ~ Aminu Kano

26JanuaryNothing is more difficult than competing with a myth.— Francoise Giroud

Sometimes we think we need to try and be something we’re not. Maybe we feel pressure from friends to behave or dress like someone else. All we need to do is remember when we were younger and dressed in our parents’ clothes and shoes. We pretended to be grownups, and it was fun for a while. Then the huge shoes on our feet grew clumsy and uncomfortable and the mountain of rolled-up sleeves kept falling down and getting in the way. Soon we grew tired of the game and stopped pretending. Today when we start feeling the pressure to be someone else, let’s remember how hard it is to play a role that doesn’t fit us.

We alcoholics were up to our necks in the quicksand of yesterdays with a lifetime of tomorrows on our shoulders. Of course we sought escape in the bottle, for no man has courage and strength enough to survive this ordeal.

AA has taught us that TODAY is the only day we have. Those horrible TOMORROWS which we hold in such dread have no substance except such as we give them in our living of successive TODAYS.

Images on the altar,Or imagined within :We pray to them,But do they answer?

The wise tell us how important adoration is. So we kneel before altars, give offerings, and make sacrifices. In our meditations, we are taught to see gods within ourselves and to make supplications to receive power and knowledge. This we do with great sincerity, until the masters say that there are no gods. Then we are confused.

The statue on the altar is mere wood and gold leaf, but our need to be reverent is real. The god within may be nothing but visualization, but our need for concentration is real. The attributes of heaven are utopian conjectures, but the essence of these parables is real. The gods, then, represent certain philosophies and extraordinary facets of the human mind. When we devote ourselves to gods, we establish communion with these deeper aspects.

The thought that we are worshipping symbolism may make us uncomfortable. We are educated to accept only the tangible, the scientific, and the material. We doubt the efficacy of adoring the merely symbolic, and we are confused when such reverence brings about genuine personal transformation. But worship does affect our feelings and thoughts. When the wise say that there are no gods, they mean that the key to understanding all things is within ourselves. External worship is merely a means to point within to the true source of salvation.

The atom is a circle, orbits are circles, the earth, moon, and sun are circles. The seasons are circles. The cycle of life is a circle: baby, youth, adult, elder. The sun gives life to the earth who feeds life to the trees whose seeds fall to the earth to grow new trees. We need to practice seeing the cycles that the Great Spirit gave us because this will help us more in our understanding of how things operate. We need to respect these cycles and live in harmony with them.

In the hour of adversity be not without hope, For crystal rain falls from black clouds.–Persian poem

When I was a child, I lived in a fantasy world and dreamed of all the wonderful things that would happen to me when I grew up. I would have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fulfilling job and, of course, I would be thin. Unfortunately the fantasy never materialized, and even when I did lose weight my life wasn’t the perfect life that I had envisioned. I would lose weight and then promptly regain it. Life in general seemed so empty and futile. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I hated myself and my life; it often seemed pointless to go on.

When I walked into the doors of the first meeting I ever attended, there was something on the faces of the people I met there. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I saw something that I wanted. It wasn’t that they were all thin, because many of them were not. So what was it that these people had that I didn’t? What they had was the hope of recovery. If they were willing to reach out to a Higher Power of their understanding, and if they would work the program one day at a time, then this would guarantee them recovery.

I didn’t know what recovery meant then. Because all I wanted was to lose weight, and because I wanted what they had, I was prepared to do what they were doing. I realized then that it wasn’t only about the weight, although that does play a part. These people were learning how to live their life sanely, and even when they struggled with life, as we do from time to time, there was always the hope that they could get through those difficult times by using the tools and reaching out to others in the fellowship.One Day at a Time . . .Even when I am going through difficult times and the future looks gloomy, I have hope that it will get better if I’m willing to work a simple program.~ Sharon S. ~

Grapevine Quote ...

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“From the very first time I stepped into this room and joined this circle of chairs, I felt a powerful spirit. Each time I return here I feel this spirit and the beginning of a wonderful feeling of peace.”
Tucson, Ariz., July 1992
“The Circle of Peace,”
Spiritual Awakenings
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[info headline="Info"]Nothing matters more to AA's future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication.Used unselfishly and well,it can produce results surpassing our present imagination.
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Nothing matters more to AA's future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication.Used unselfishly and well,it can produce results surpassing our present imagination.
~BillW,Grapevine,November,1960.