“Airport drinking should be unreasonable and exhausting. This will create a bitter division between those who would rather be at home reading a book and those who think that getting a drunk in an airport is not tawdry and pathetic.

“The relentless alcohol, the ghastly strip clubs and the increasingly emotional hangovers will exacerbate the weird dynamics that already exist within the group. Bullying and intense rivalries will emerge within the first 24 hours.”

Professor Brubaker added: “Take things to the brink by maintaining the sort of unbearably shit banter that will fill the intelligent, sensitive members of the group with a scorching hatred.