A HUGE Shoutout to Otis Elevator Comapany:

I'm over here now.

I was in an Otis elevator back in January with my best friend and my three kids. The elevator malfunctioned and plummeted five stories. My best friend and three kids all died. I have severe injuries to my back and legs, it is 50/50 if I ever walk again. But the good news is Otis is paying my hospital and physical therapy bills and giving me free elevator rides for the rest of my pathetic life, so all is good.

Supreme Champion!!!!!

Viciously Silly

I was in an Otis elevator back in January with my best friend and my three kids. The elevator malfunctioned and plummeted five stories. My best friend and three kids all died. I have severe injuries to my back and legs, it is 50/50 if I ever walk again. But the good news is Otis is paying my hospital and physical therapy bills and giving me free elevator rides for the rest of my pathetic life, so all is good.

You wanna fight me, Shucker? 'Cause that's what I'm hearing. Go on. Accept my challenge, coward. I'll even put you up in the most expensive hotel in your city. This is totally a good idea and is 100% NOT insane.