Pretty much anyone in their right mind would think that the idea of a movie based on a board game that’s a series of letters where spirits can write you messages is an idiotic idea. Pretty much anyone except for movie execs, as it turns out. Originally set up at Universal, where it was to be written by the

Universal Pictures has recruited the team of Juliet Snowden and Stiles White (pictured) to rewrite and helm the pic.
Jason Blum will produce through his Blumhouse Prods. shingle, as will Michael Bay through his Platinum Dunes banner along with Platinum partners Andrew Form and Brad Fuller. Hasbro prexy-CEO Brian Goldner and Bennett Schneir will also produce.
Plot details are being kept under wraps, although indications are it will be in keeping with the high-concept, low-budget model Blum has used with success for the “Paranormal Activity” franchise. Universal will release “Ouija” sometime in 2013. Snowden and White’s credits include Summit’s “The Knowing” [sic – it’s just “Knowing”] and “The Possession” for Lionsgate and Ghost House Pictures. (The latter pic goes out on Aug. 31.) [Variety]

Board game movies are stupid, but concepts for horror movies these days rarely seem more creative than “hey, there’s an object of some kind and it’s haunted!” Why couldn’t the haunted thing be a board game? So I guess turning Ouija into a Paranormal Activity movie isn’t the worst idea in the world. I mean, assuming the goal is to just make some money off it. If you’re expecting a decent product, forget it. It’s the carnival ring toss of movie concepts. By the time those rubes figure out that they’ve been had, you’re already flipper deep in microwave meth! Or something. I had to much to drink before I wrote this, to be honest.

What deal with Satan did the suits at Hasbro swing in order to have exclusive rights to communicate with the dead? And why can they only use their legally-binding black magic to communicate with retard ghosts who take 3 minutes to spell out their own name (which incidentally is almost always “Penis”)? This movie better have answers