Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The show starts with a plane taking
off, a group of guys walking in the street hyped up because they are going to Atlantic City. We have a
pier with a ferris wheel, a water slide, and another amusement park ride.

As the kisses begin, Des says she
wants a love that can light the darkness. There’s lots of kissing going on, a
beautiful sand castle on the beach, boardwalk games.

Des takes one of the bachelors to
where hurricane Sandy ripped New Jersey apart, and he is teary, and feels
it has created a bond between them.

The group date is a men’s version of
Miss America.
This will be completely hilarious.

Once again there is an issue with Ben.
Brydon feels it is his place to tell Des about why he’s not liked. Cue, you’re
not getting a rose dude!

Des is so cute. She is so hopeful and
believes her husband is among these guys.

WOW! The guys’ pad is super sweet!

One on one goes to Brad. Cue in naked
Texas Zak, who has to bad mouth anyone who gets a date that isn’t him. The guys
watch in complete jealousy from their balcony, how much more Jr. High can you
be?! And then naked Zak, is whining about driving himself a little crazy. Then
mind your own business, dork! It’s not your date!

Des is having a great time on the
rides, and playing games on the boardwalk.That’s what a good date is all about, huh, having fun!

Brad and Des get to the beach and there
is a beautiful, huge sandcastle for them.

At dinner it’s a snooze fest. Brad is
hardly speaking, and with all the guys griping about time with her, you’d think
he’d talk . . . uh NO . . it’s like pulling teeth to get him to say anything.

They walk up to the top of the
lighthouse where they had dinner, and again Des is doing all the talking.

Des, wake up! If there is no
conversation then he is probably not worth it! She does and she regretfully
tells him that she can’t give him the rose. BUH-BYE Brad!

As he leaves he goes on about opening
himself up, coming here for his son, etc. Weepy, weepy, weepy. Seriously, if
you opened yourself up, Des wouldn’t have been pulling conversation out of you.

Date card arrives, and Brydon takes it
upon himself to collect it and read it.

It’s a group date, and the players
are:

Brooks

Brydon – military dude.

Zak K . . . not naked dude.

Kasey

Drew . . . Jake’s mini-me

Juan Pablo

Zak W . . . naked Texas dude.

Mikey. . .Mr. I’m the stud – UGH!

Ben . . . the hated dude!

Michael . . . the one who has
diabetes.

Chris

James gets the next one on one. Not
sure what I think about him.

On to the group date – Mr. America Pageant.

Cue the song . . . There She Goes by
Manfred Mann and who has to get to her first, Mr. Complains a lot, AKA naked
Texas Zak. I tell you if it were me he’d have lost his gonads by now.She hugs Brooks next, he always just stays in
the background, but is visible when he needs to be. She tells the guys that
they are at Boardwalk Hall, which is a historic building, and she’s got
something fun planned for them. We’ll see what they think. LOL

Once they get inside Chris tells them
that they will be competing in their own Mr. America pageant.

Michael is thrilled, he always dreamed
of being Mr. America
and now’s his chance.

Miss America is there and she is telling
them they will be judged on their interview, talent or lack there of. Chris
says he knows they have no idea about pageants so there is help, of course from
Miss America,
and world famous pageant coach Christopher Dean.He tells the guys that they are going to go
and explore what talent they have. On a table you can see a guitar, a baton, a
ribbon for ribbon gymnastics.

Juan Pablo takes the baton while the
other guys are looking and he tosses it great!

Naked Texas Zak takes the guitar and
believes he will write the best serenade for Des.

Miss America begins talking to the guys
about their interview questions; they are surprised at how hard they are.
Clearly, if they have watched the Ms. America pageant it’s been for the
swimsuit competition.

Christopher Dean tells the guys there
is one more category and it is the swimsuit, saying it wouldn’t be a Ms.
America pageant without it.

Funnily, the swimsuits are
assigned.Jake’s mini-me, Drew is hoping
his name is not on a Speedo. I’m laughing!

Ben gets a Speedo, and says it is way
too small.

The guys find out that this will be
done in front of a live audience.

Interview questions:

Kasey – is asked are you a giver or a
taker in a relationship?He says he is a
giver, a romantic guy, and so he likes to give, and he thinks if both people
give it works. Huge round of applause.

Naked Texas Zak – is asked if he would be water or
fire, which would you be and why? I want to throw up at his answer. He says
fire, he says this knowing that whoever you are with it is your responsibility
to fuel her fire. Seriously dude, did you get that out of Relationships for
Dummies, because I know you didn’t come up with it.

Brooks – is asked by Des, if you were
an animal in the wild what would you be and why? With no thinking he says a
lion, king of the jungle.

Chris – is asked what relationship
skills do you feel you need to improve on? I’d say communication, because he
was fumbling all over the place.

Juan Pablo – is asked, explain your
ideal woman? HELLO???? Daughter. You have a kid. Not exactly the way you let
someone know you have a kid.

Mikey – is asked what is something
that most women don’t understand about men and why not? He says most women see
men as their bodies, as meatheads. . .
really dude! He goes on to say that women don’t see their insides that they cry
inside, that they like long walks on the beach. As he goes on with emotional prattle,
the guys are cracking up backstage.

Talent:

Kasey – Kasey tells some crazy story
about nailing staples to his shoes and going outside as a kid to tap . . . then
he tap dances. It was ridiculous.

Mikey – comes out and does a pelvic
thrust, takes off his shirt, and does a handstand. He doesn’t want to be looked
at for only his “bod” yet that is what he just showed. He will now be known as
Meathead.

Brooks – has a ukulele and sings a
song, and smashes the ukulele. . .
watch out Pete Townsand!

Drew, Jake’s mini-me – reads Shakespeare.

Chris – twirls hula hoops in high
heels on his arms.

Brydon - slides out and does a pelvic thrust dance
move, it is not pretty. Brydon, stick to the Army!

Naked Texas Zak – plays the guitar, and sings a
song. He may have some talent after all besides walking around with no clothes
on.

Bring on the swimsuits:

Drew, Jake’s mini-me is up first, he’s
in board shorts, and does an okay strut.

Mikey AKA Meathead is also wearing
board shorts, and comes out like he’s going to break into Magic Mike. Oh,
puhlease don’t!

Brooks – wearing board shorts, came out
and had a great strut, and was funny!

Ben – in the Speedo, that he is not
happy about hardly strutted.

I am rolling! The guys come out and
string across the stage and they hold hands.

2nd Runner up is Brooks

1stRunner up is Naked Texas Zak.

The winner of the first Bachelorette
Mr. America
is Kasey.Really??? And he covers his face with his hands like he’s
going to cry. All the guys high five him, a king’s crown is put on him and he’s
given roses. This is too stinkin’ funny!!!!

Brooks was a better choice.

Naked Texas Zak is complaining. Please
can he leave soon, he whines like a two year old!

At the pool party, Chris pulls Des
aside and tells her he writes poetry, he wants her to see the serious side of
her. Kinda strange to read poetry on a group date, and in the pool, but when
you want to stand out as a candidate that’s what you do. He’s not one of my
faves.

Des apparently was impressed, because
she kissed him.

Inside the guys are quibbling about
the rose. Here we go again, whining about Ben. Guys, concentrate on building a
relationship not who else is. That is annoying!

While Ben doesn’t seem to be popular,
I have to agree with him, he’s not there to be buddies with the guys; he is
there to have a relationship with Des.

When Des and Ben go to the pool, the
growling begins from the seating area. Ben couldn’t do anything right by these
dudes if he was saving her from falling off a building. They’d still hate him. He
shows her a necklace with his son’s thumb print.

Brooks can’t handle it any more, so he
says “I’m Out” and leaves and the guys follow.

Oh my goodness! James is preparing for
his one on one. He talks about having the penthouse to himself, being able to
relax, and he gets into a bubble bath eating chocolate covered strawberries.
Really?!?!?!? Are we a manly man??? Me thinks not!

Back at the pool party, Naked Texas
Zak sings the rest of the song he had sang in the talent show. And the rose
goes to Naked Texas Zak. UGH!

James and Des leave for their date,
and meet Jackie from the American Red Cross. Des says that instead of an
extravagant date, this will be different; they will be touring the Jersey shore
to see the damage from hurricane Sandy.
As they fly over, Jackie describes how the waves were crushing the buildings
and homes.

James is really struck by the devastation.
A roller coaster is in the water, as James says, it use to be a sign of joy,
there is a flag on the top that represents hope.

James goes on saying that this created
a bond with Des.

Out of the helicopter and walking
around Seaside Heights they can feel the devastation
first hand. Des says it’s like a ghost town.

They run into some locals, and they
tell their story to James and Des. Manny and Jan’s story is just heart
wrenching. They entered the shelter on their anniversary.

Des and James talk about it and give
them their date that ABC had arranged for them. Love this! This is exactly what
my hubby and I would do. James says they could just eat fast food.

Seeing Manny and Jan, on the date was
so sweet.

James and Des have pizza, beer and
conversation, so much better than the date with Brad. The conversation just
flowed.

Jan and Manny receive a gift, it is a
wedding album restored that was ruined by water. Just precious!

Part of the date was dancing to Darius
Rucker. It was sweet to see them dancing and enjoying themselves after all the devastation,
it was also a sweet moment for James and Des because they were selfless and
gave it away.

James gets the rose he deserved it how
many of the guys would’ve given up the date.

Back at the penthouse, Brydon, is
complaining about how his feelings are waning and he is not sure he will accept
the rose if she offers it to him. I think I hear the Army calling your name
dude!

She pulls Michael away. Michael tells
her why he likes her with individual letters. Corny, cheesy, but cute, and he
gets a kiss!

Chris and Des talk about their family,
and being comfortable around each other. And a kiss.

Brydon gets his chance with Des, and
he goes on about how this is hard for him, their first date was amazing . .
blah, blah, blah.

In the sitting area the guys are psychoanalyzing
Brydon and Des’ conversation.

Roses:

Chris

Brooks

Juan Pablo, I didn’t see that one
after his bomb shell of having a daughter.

Drew, Jake’s mini-me

Michael

Rut-Roh, Ben gets a rose

Kasey

Des calls Brydon’s name and he just
stands there, and then he goes forward and accepts the rose.

He needs to go!

Meathead gets the rose AKA Mikey.

Zak K. does not get a rose and he is
very sad.

Des tells the guys that they are going
to a place with castles, beer, and the men wear lederhosen.

They toast to making new memories in
new cities.

Watching the previews we see that James
is not here for Des, but honing himself to be the next bachelor, and Ben is a fraud
and needs to be exposed.

The Mr. America out takes are
hilarious with the guys cat calling each other as they practice strutting!