Because two Southerners are about to tell the rest of Britain that Middlesbrough is the UK’s worst place to live.

The deliberately volatile claim, based on “research” carried out from an office, will be broadcast on Channel 4 property programme Location, Location, Location tomorrow night.

But Boro’s table-heading spot on the “worst 20” list has left residents and leaders baffled.

And the town’s MPs have spoken up in a show of strength that says more about the town’s community than any list could.

Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland MP Ashok Kumar said people should look beyond a handful of statistics and consider what Boro is really about. “It doesn’t suffer from the environmental problems of the South-east such as overcrowding, unaffordable housing and congestion.

“Good countryside is only minutes away - such as Saltburn, the North York Moors - and further away, but still near, are places like York, the Dales and Durham. Mima is the best modern art gallery outside London. And there’s the fact the BBC chose Middlesbrough for the Proms in the Park.”

Sir Stuart Bell, MP for Middlesbrough, added: “People who come to such foolish conclusions have never visited the town and never will.”

It’s the third year in a row the town has been criticised by the programme. In 2005 it was, apparently, the fifth worst place to live while last year it reached number six. Hackney, now 12th, was number one.

But the programme did give Middlesbrough an unintentional pat on the back - it elevates the town to city status on its website, referring to the “North-east city”.

No locations in Northern England were listed among the 20 best places to live, the winner of which will be announced on-air tomorrow.

Kirstie told the people of Middlesbrough: “What I want more than anything to do is to champion, not condemn, the places on the worst list as there are some real diamonds in the rough.”

Kent-born Phil, who also runs a glossy property company from up-market Chelsea, added: “Each year we seem to create a storm of controversy with this survey, but it’s all based on official data and all we do is tell you the results.”

But today top Teessiders shrugged off the survey and said it begged more questions than it answered.

Middlesbrough Mayor Ray Mallon said: “What Channel 4 should be doing is giving Middlesbrough an award for being the most improved town in the UK over the past six or seven years.”

Dave Budd, executive councillor for regeneration at Middlesbrough Council, described the survey as “pseudo-research”.

“It’s based on publicly-available figures which they just pick and chose to fit what they want to say.”

The main criteria used to judge locations were figures on crime, education, health and wealth, lifestyle, environment and employment.

Researchers claim Middlesbrough suffers one of the worst car crime and burglary rates in the UK. But, according to Home Office research, British people worry far more about violent crime.

There’s no more violent crime in the Cleveland Police area than in the idyllic South coast retirement county of Hampshire - Kirstie’s home county - or parts of the prosperous Home Counties.

According to figures, there are fewer robberies on Teesside than the English average. You are three-and-a-half times less likely to be mugged on Teesside than in London.

And you’re less likely to have a gun pulled on you in Middlesbrough than in virtually any other built-up area of Britain.

Phil and Kirstie will also be claiming that Middlesbrough residents are among the worst educated in the UK.

But the survey classes a fresh-faced university graduate as “more educated” than an experienced, highly-skilled industry specialist who has trained in-house for 20 years.

The North East Chamber of Commerce’s head of member relations, Joanne Fryett, said the area is home to some of the most able, experienced and highly-skilled minds in industry.

“We have a highly skilled workforce with the steelworks we have at Redcar, the chemical industries at Wilton and the power stations.”

And it’s not just Teesside’s industry that’s highly skilled.

The Macmillan Academy on Stockton Road was named the best state school in the UK last year after researchers compared 1.2 million state school pupils nationwide.

Other criteria like the number who rent their house from the council or what people eat for tea was today dismissed as irrelevant by critics on Teesside.

A Channel 4 spokesman denied the list was an attempt to rubbish towns for the sake of it. She said: “The six criteria reflects the criteria home-buyers look for today. It’s giving people a guide on places.”

Figures from local and national authorities were used by skilled researchers, she said.

Journey South jump to Middlesbrough’s defence

TEESSIDE duo Journey South were quick to jump to Middlesbrough’s defence following Channel 4’s controversial criticisms of the town.

The poll branding Boro as the worst place to live in Britain was made public on the same day that X Factor stars Andy and Carl Pemberton released their new single “What I Love About Home”.

The singers could not believe it when they saw what was being said about their home town.

Andy, 31, told the Gazette: “I am infuriated.

“I don’t know how they can possibly say it. I just don’t know what that’s based on.

“Since the X Factor we have travelled almost everywhere in the country and have been in some absolute dumps compared to Middlesbrough.”

He said the town is a great place to live because the people are fantastic and there is a lot of regeneration work going on.

“They are slagging off the Transporter Bridge and it’s an iconic part of Middlesbrough. People love it and that’s why we did our video there.”

The video for the new single was filmed around Teesside featuring everything from the Riverside Stadium to the North York Moors.

Andy and Carl will be in Woolworths in the Hill Street Centre, Middlesbrough, signing copies of their limited edition single today from 4pm.

The Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst Live show will be shown tomorrow on Channel 4 at 9pm.

THE Chief Constable of Cleveland Police delivered a stinging response to the programme’s claim that Middlesbrough is among the worst places for crime.

The survey claimed Middlesbrough was in one of the top 10 places in the UK for theft from a car, theft of a car and burglary.

But Sean Price, right, said researchers have made “fundamental” errors.

Mr Price said: “Any programme wishing to be taken seriously needs to reflect on the progress a town has made, not simply a collection of random figures.

“As the recent HMI Assessment makes clear, policing in Middlesbrough and Cleveland as a whole has made considerable progress in recent years, compared with past performance and with other forces. In terms of the crime categories featured by Channel 4, offences of vehicle crime and burglary in Middlesbrough have halved in the last five years. Last year, vehicle crime fell in the town by nearly 14% and burglary by over 21%. At the same time, detections have risen.

“The programme researchers have made a fundamental error in using quantity of drug crimes to compare towns. The reality is drug crimes come to light through pro-active policing. Those towns making a higher number of arrests are the towns where the police are on top of the situation. I hope Channel 4 will take the trouble to visit Middlesbrough for themselves, and prepare a more balanced programme on the progress the town has made across the board, including policing.”

DON’T believe the hype - the truths and myths about Middlesbrough

MYTH: Crime rates in Middlesbrough are among the highest in Britain.

TRUTH: The research has been described by Cleveland’s Chief Constable as “simply a collection of random figures.” There are also fewer serious crimes in Middlesbrough than in more prosperous areas of the south and London.

MYTH: People in Boro are badly educated.

TRUTH: Middlesbrough is home to the UK’s best state school - Macmillan College. Boro is renowned for its skilled, specialist industrial workforce.