Okay, so maybe "punter points" wins the vote next
year

This season has so far defeated the trends of the NFL. Each
season normally trades off between rushing and passing being
the way to big fantasy scores and coming off a big rushing
season, the fantasy drafts naturally went heavily towards
the runners in the first few rounds. The other trend is that
the NFL has been incrementally increasing the offensive scoring
to make all us fans and fantasy players happier and remind
us that the NFL is not the MBL or NHL and especially not soccer.

However.

The season has not been big on scoring yet. Week three of
2002 produced 576 points through the first 13 games. Week
three of 2003 only had 482 points, a difference of 37 points
per game versus 44 points last year. The main culprit? Touchdowns.
Or rather the lack of them.

In 2002, week three produced 19 rushing and six receiving
touchdowns by running backs. This week? There were only twelve
rushing touchdowns and two passing scores by those running
backs. Only Michael Pittman and James Hodgins scored through
the air. Twenty five scores down to only fourteen? Wide receivers
declined 30 to 24 in week three from last year to this year.

And you wondered why touchdown-only leagues were on the decline...

Heaven cannot wait

Shaun Alexander struck a note of fear into the fantasy world
when he was conspicuously absent to start the Seattle-St.
Louis game. Instead of being yet another Holmgren motivational
ploy, Shaun was allowed to swing by the hospital before the
game to witness the birth of his first child, Heaven Alexander.

Alexander was then given a police escort to the stadium where
he did a quick stretch out on the sideline and then entered
the game at the start of the second quarter, thereby quieting
many fantasy owners who were using both Heaven and its competitors
name liberally until he showed up.

Alexander ended up with 66 yards on the day, Seattle won
24-23 and the Seahawks bye week will give us some time away
from using Mike Holmgren's name in vain.

Flavor-o-the-week

After Anquan Boldin and Eric Parker, this week's offering
is Andre' Davis who scored two touchdowns on his five catches
for 43 yards and even threw in a run for three yards. What
am I bid for this 6'1", 195 lb. specimen from the Cleveland
"Turn it around" Browns? Second year player - do
I hear twenty?

You go first

The NFL has always presented a challenge to the fantasy world.
Bad enough players often do not meet expectations, but the
worst reality is that they get injured. This season has already
jumped out as one of the biggest minefields in recent memory,
with each week hitting someone and you just hope it is not
you. Let's compare last year to this year for notable injuries
to QB, RB and WR through week three of the seasons.

Final Tally through week three, 2002
QB - one mild concussion and a stomach virus
RB - Only Ahman Green and James Stewart missed notable
time, the rest were backups or not very injured.
WR - No top receivers hurt, Muhammad main injury.

So scoring is down and injuries are up. And it is only week
three? 'Gulp'...

Really? He's been there the whole time? Seriously?

After the first two weeks, head coach Jeff Fisher had to
keep reiterating that Drew Bennett was the starting flanker
even though he had only had three passes thrown to him and
failed to record a reception. Just when you think you can
ignore a player - BAM! Mr. Invisible snags eight catches for
105 yards and one touchdown. New Orleans never saw him coming
and paid the price. I mean you cover Mason and you take away
the Titan's passing game, right?

This next week New Orleans gets a break by going to Indianapolis
where only Marvin Harrison catches passes and no one else
need be covered. No... wait a minute... there's that one guy.
Reggie something. Hey - who was the leading receiver in the
entire league yesterday? It couldn't be...

Welcome back, Forrest

Joey Porter may have been shot in the buttocks, but he returned
to the playing field yesterday and recorded two tackles and
one sack. No slapping the backside for that sack, please.

Excuse me while I search for Plan B

The 49ers dumped Steve Mariucci after last season because
he was too conservative in his play calling, not shining a
proper light on the offensive genius that is Bill Walsh in
the background. After all, Mariucci kept losing in the playoffs
even though he had the salary cap constraints while he was
there. Last season, San Francisco only went 10-5 and won their
division. They only averaged 23 points per game.

Now that Dennis Erickson is properly installed with all the
authority and strings, the 49ers are off to a big 1-2 start
and have a nice three week scoring progression of 49, 24 and
then 12 points. If their trend holds up, they get two field
goals next week, one in week five and then shutout by week
six. In case you are keeping score, Owens has one touchdown
and Tai Streets leads all non-QB's with two touchdowns. The
rushing game that once speculated it could produce two 1000
yard rushers comes off a home effort of only 32 yards on 16
carries by the duo of Garrison Hearst and Kevan Barlow. This
to a team that gave up 339 rushing yards last week.

They do, however, lead the league with a total of ten field
goals.

"Okay - so who checked out the redzone book and did
not return it?"

Drama 101 - Somebody has to laugh, somebody has to cry

Comedy Lineup

Yards

TDs

Tragedy Lineup

Yards

TDs

QB

Patrick Ramsey

367

2

QB

Drew Bledsoe

98

0

RB

Woodrow Dantzler

6

1

RB

Corey Dillon

26

0

RB

Michael Pittman

164

1

RB

Travis Henry

7

0

WR

Kelly Campbell

85

1

WR

Marvin Harrison

31

0

WR

Drew Bennett

105

1

WR

Eric Moulds

30

0

WR

Warren Sapp

6

1

WR

Joe Horn

5

0

PK

Owen Pochman

4 FG

PK

John Carney

1 XP, 1 FG

Huddle Fantasy Points = 106

Huddle Fantasy Points = 16

Umm... give it to Ricky this time

The Dolphins defeated the Bills because their defense knocked
Travis Henry from the game and allowed no other player to
cross the line of scrimmage. Conversely, Rick Williams set
a team record and personal best with an astounding 46 carries
in the game. That gives Ricky a total of 97 carries this season
in three games, a pace that would end up at 512 carries for
the season. That would be a little better than Jamal Anderson's
old record of only 410 carries in a year. Currently Williams
has 97 carries compared to only 47 pass completions for the
Dolphins this season.

After Earl Campbell, Ricky Williams and even Priest Holmes,
there is evidently something about those ex-Texas running
backs that just cries out for a heavy workload. Perhaps the
NFL should consider feeding all the players some Austin chili?

Sunday's Couch Commentary

MIN
23, DET 13

Culpepper
scores on two rushes while the Lions cry "no Moe!
No Moe!" Who knew Williams had jets?

KC 42, HOU 14

Fortunately Holmes' new contract
does not pay him by the hour since he never seems to play
the whole sixty minutes. The amazing thing is that KC
still has a dominating offense without actually using
wide receivers much.

JAX
13, IND 23

Oh,
so THERE is Peyton Manning. And Reggie Wayne. Now what
ever happened to Harrison? Byron Leftwich is quietly amassing
one of the greatest trash time QB ratings in history.

NYJ 16, NE 23

Okay, Mr. Edwards. So what is in
your bag of tricks next week? Just make sure it is not
a "fake-anything".

NO
12, TEN 27

Two
teams meet and show that both have the consistency of
gasoline prices. Except for Eddie George.

PIT 17, CIN 10

Bengals lose Dillon and yet still
make a game of it. Chad Johnson responsible for 83% of
all internet traffic Sunday morning as it is announced
he is benched, then that he will play just without starting.
Whew!

TB
31, ATL 10

When
Michael Pittman has more yardage than the entire Atlanta
offense, change the channel. When Warren Sapp catches
a touchdown, they're just rubbing salt into the wound.
Seismographs peg 3.4 in Atlanta as Sapp does his humpty-bumpty
touchdown dance.

BUF 7, MIA 17

Miami pops Henry, rides Bledsoe
and escorts Moulds in a game that offense forgot. Ricky
Williams delighted his fans, unlike all other offensive
players in the game.

NYG
24, WAS 21

Giants
yell "NOT THIS *#$*@# AGAIN" but win since the
other team kicked off. On the plus side, hearing a third
consecutive winning press conference from Spurrier would
just seem wrong.

GB 13, ARZ 20

Green Bay discovers that on any
given Sunday, you can lose your receivers all over again
and sometimes it really does matter. Boldin now becomes
a three week wonder just prior to being tabbed a one month
wonder.

BAL
24, SD 10

We
all knew both backs would run wild, the variable was that
Boller had two less interceptions than Brees plus a touchdown
to Heap. David Boston opens up the offense by attracting
all the secondary but does little good when Brees throws
it to him anyway.

CLE 13, SF 12

This is why computers can never
replace prognosticators and why saving your money in a
sock is safer than betting according to those prognosticators.
San Francisco - the Mecca for kickers?.

Game-O-The-Week

Winner: St. Louis 23, Seattle 24

The Giants-Redskins game was a contender as was the 49ers-Browns
match, but in the end all we really ever wanted were lots
of points.

Entering into the fourth quarter, the Seahawks trailed the
Rams 23-10 in a game that had Shaun Alexander show up late
and Koren Robinson barely show up at all. The final drive
of the third quarter had Matt Hasselbeck finally starting
to connect with Robinson after the Rams had just kicked their
field goal. By the time the quarter ended, they were at the
St. Louis 43-yard line.

Opening the fourth quarter, Hasselbeck hits Ituli Mili for
a 25 yard gain to the Rams 18-yard line. After an Alexander
rush and and incomplete pass, Hasselbeck hits Darrell Jackson
for a 15 yard touchdown to bring the Seahawks to within six
points, 23-17.

This is where the Rams became a bit giving, starting out
on their own 33-yard line with one incomplete and then a toss
to Brandon Manumaleuna that Reggie Tongue slurps out of the
air for an interception at the Seattle 36-yard line.

This is the big chance for the Seahawks. Taking the ball
at their own 33-yard line with 13:49 to play, they use Alexander
runs and Robinson catches to work down the field until it
was first and ten from the Rams 14-yard line. Robinson and
Alexander as a combo to move the ball - who knew?

First down - sacked for a ten yard loss. Second down - Robinson
for seven yards. Third down - incomplete to Robinson because
hey - the Rams figure things out eventually. On fourth down
and 13 to go, Holmgren decides to go for the field goal and
only need one more kick to tie the game. The rookie Josh Brown
responds by pushing the kick wide left. Holmgren comes to
the conclusion that the whole "plotting for the future"
thing falls apart when you miss in the present.

The Rams take the ball and really wish that Marshall Faulk
was around. Lamar Gordon gets two runs and one pass but his
ten yards gained is short of a first thanks to Kyle "Wildman"
Turley's false start penalty on second down. They punt and
the Seahawks get the ball back on their 32-yard line with
only 5:27 left to play.

After a negative two yard pass to Alexander, an incomplete
to Morris and then Hasselbeck himself running for eleven yards
on an impressive yet one yard short scamper, Holmgren looks
fourth and one in the eye and decides to go for it on the
Seattle 41-yard line. Shaun "I'm your Daddy" Alexander
and OT Walter Jones are ready and the Seahawks naturally call
for an incomplete pass to Jackson. Sort of one of those "in
retrospect..." calls.

With only 4:12 left to bleed from the clock and already in
Seattle territory, all the Rams need to do is run the ball
a bit and get a field goal to ice the game. So Bulger throws
to Manumaleuna for five yards. Then Gordon rushes for two
yards. On third and three from the Seattle 34 yard line, Bulger
throws an eight yard pass to Dane Looker who WAIT - IT'S INTERCEPTED!
3:15 left to play in the game and Bulger throws a pass well
beyond the first down for an interception. The home crowd
notices this and roars loud enough to rattle all 46 Starbucks
within a three mile radius.

First and ten from the 26-yard line, Hasselbeck hits Robinson
for 32 yards. Fast kid that Robinson.

Two incompletes later, Hasselbeck saves a third and ten by
hitting Bobby Engram for 13 yards to the Rams 42-yard line.
With only 2:35 left to play, he connects again with Robinson
for another 14 yards to the Rams 15-yard line. Alexander takes
a run for two yards followed by an incomplete to Robinson.
On third and eight, he misses Darrell Jackson but wait! Defensive
holding rears its ugly head. First and goal to go from the
eight yard line with only 1:45 left to play. Game is on the
line! No time to waste! (Pssst - throw it to Robinson). Hasselbeck
hands off to Alexander for five yards and a little tactical
clock chewing. (Psst - throw it to Robinson). Hasselbeck fires
an incomplete to Ituli Mili. On third down and three to go
(Psst - throw it to Robinson) and only 1:03 left to play,
Hasselbeck's helmet radio is taken over by the cumulative
psycho-kinetic affect of 23,000 Robinson owners and throws
a touchdown to Robinson!

A challenge! Did he catch it? Yes he did!

Bulger gets his shot starting at his own 29-yard line with
only 53 seconds left to play. First down - throws to Gordon
who with a two yard gain reminds the world he is not Marshall
Faulk. Then an incomplete to Furrey, another to Holt and on
fourth and eight with only 34 seconds to play, Bulger mistakes
Mike Martz saying "I hate this game" to mean throw
an incomplete to Holt.

Game over.

Shaun Alexander started his day with Heaven and all the Seahawks
ended theirs likewise. They witnessed the birth of a 3-0 Seahawks
team for the first time in five years and only the second
time since 1986. Seeing his baby took Shaun Alexander's breath
away and for all the fantasy fans, not seeing Alexander on
the field for the first quarter took ours away. In the end,
mother, child and exciting games in the NFL are just fine.