Ask Me Another

9:43 am

Thu November 21, 2013

Hurtful Words

They say that love is the universal language, but they're wrong — it's pain. In this game, house musician Jonathan Coulton will tell you how people around the world say "ouch," and you have to name the language. "Úff, this eruption by the volcano Eyjafjallajökull is making me really hot!"...you said, in Icelan-glish. (That's Icelandic + English.)

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Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next two contestants are here. Please welcome Jacob Stulberg and Blake Hamilton.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Jacob, you are getting a Ph.D in radio dramas?

JACOB STULBERG: That's right.

EISENBERG: That is amazing.

STULBERG: Thank you.

EISENBERG: I didn't know that was offered.

(LAUGHTER)

STULBERG: Well, if you ask nicely enough they'll let you study more or less what you want.

EISENBERG: What you want. Well, that is a great one. And you are also a crossword constructor.

STULBERG: Yes.

EISENBERG: Can you give us an example of one of your favorite clues or a clue you're proud of?

STULBERG: Well, most recently I had a three letter answer with the clue not straight.

EISENBERG: Not straight. Mm-hmm.

STULBERG: And the answer was sly.

EISENBERG: Ah. Nice.

WILL HINES: Not to intimidate Blake, but you seem genetically created to be on this show.

(LAUGHTER)

STULBERG: Some say I was born to be here.

HINES: All right.

EISENBERG: I see a lot of people relating to each other on this stage right now. Blake, you are visiting us from?

BLAKE HAMILTON: Saint Louis.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERS)

HAMILTON: Let's hear it.

EISENBERG: Fantastic. And you run your own trivia night there.

HAMILTON: I do. A yearly trivia night for the organization for which I work. It's very awkward but it's lucrative. We raise a lot of money.

EISENBERG: Interesting. Is there a theme to the trivia night?

HAMILTON: It's international. It's - yeah, mostly international themed questions. I try to do my best but, oh, I fail a lot.

EISENBERG: OK. Well, that might help you because this game is called Hurtful Words. Jonathan.

JONATHAN COULTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Words hurt, don't they?

COULTON: They sure do, Ophira.

EISENBERG: They do.

COULTON: They really can hurt. And, you know, they say that love is the universal language, but they're wrong. It's pain.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Pause for laughter.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: In this game we'll tell you how people around the world say ouch and we will ask you to name the language. But we will make it a little easier by giving you context clues for each one. Puzzle guru Will Hines, how about an example?

HINES: I'd love to give an example. All right, contestants. So if I said oof, this eruption by the volcano Eyjafjallajökull...

(LAUGHTER)

HINES: ...approximately. It is making me really hot. You would say Icelandic because you would be very familiar that that volcano is from Iceland.

COULTON: Right. Very easy, right?

STULBERG: Yeah, of course.

HAMILTON: Sure.

COULTON: So ring in as soon as you know the answer. Here we go. Aucht. These lederhosen are girding my loins too tightly.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Blake.

HAMILTON: German?

COULTON: German. You got it.

EISENBERG: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Ohi. You just ran over my foot with your Vespa.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Blake.

HAMILTON: Italian.

COULTON: Italian. Si.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That's a very cool thing to say. You just ran over my foot with your Vespa.

COULTON: You ran over my foot with your Vespa. Ciao.

EISENBERG: Ciao.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Aduh. I can't believe a gamelan orchestra would leave its gongs and kendhang drums just lying here on this beautiful Bali beach.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Blake.

HAMILTON: Indonesia.

COULTON: That's right, Indonesia.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Trip over a gong, that hurts.

EISENBERG: Yeah. A gong beach sounds like the worst beach of all time.

COULTON: Yeah, no good.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Ouk. There was a pit in one of the olives in this gyro.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Blake.

HAMILTON: Greek.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Or ouk, our currency is no good.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Jaj. I had no idea you could still get lisztomania from visiting Budapest.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Blake.

HAMILTON: Hungarian?

COULTON: Mm-hmm. Hungarian.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Eina. I wish I could enjoy the veldt with all these wildebeests bumping into me.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jacob.

STULBERG: Afrikaans?

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Wildebeests have terrible peripheral vision if you didn't know that. That's why they bump into you on the veldt.

COULTON: You know, they're not trying to be mean. It's just an accident. They can't see.

EISENBERG: Good game. Congratulations, Blake. You're moving on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Coming up, we'll sing a Rolling Stones' classic, figure out what else zombies eat for dinner, and we'll find out what scares the public radio listeners more than a pledge drive. So stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg and this is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER.