Summit via Everett Collection
You can imagine that Renny Harlin, director and one quadrant of the writing team for The Legend of Hercules, began his pitch as such: We'll start with a war, because lots of these things start with wars. It feels like this was the principal maxim behind a good deal of the creative choices in this latest update of the Ancient Greek myth. There are always horse riding scenes. There are generally arena battles. There are CGI lions, when you can afford 'em. Oh, and you've got to have a romantic couple canoodling at the base of a waterfall. Weaving them all together cohesively would be a waste of time — just let the common threads take form in a remarkably shouldered Kellan Lutz and action sequences that transubstantiate abjectly to and fro slow-motion.
But pervading through Lutz's shirtless smirks and accent continuity that calls envy from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland performance is the obtrusive lack of thought that went into this picture. A proverbial grab bag of "the basics" of the classic epic genre, The Legend of Hercules boasts familiarity over originality. So much so that the filmmakers didn't stop at Hercules mythology... they barely started with it, in fact. There's more Jesus Christ in the character than there is the Ancient Greek demigod, with no lack of Gladiator to keep things moreover relevant. But even more outrageous than the void of imagination in the construct of Hercules' world is its script — a piece so comically dim, thin, and idiotic that you will laugh. So we can't exactly say this is a totally joyless time at the movies.
Summit via Everett Collection
Surrounding Hercules, a character whose arc takes him from being a nice enough strong dude to a nice enough strong dude who kills people and finally owns up to his fate — "Okay, fine, yes, I guess I'm a god" — are a legion of characters whose makeup and motivations are instituted in their opening scenes and never change thereafter. His de facto stepdad, the teeth-baring King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), despises the boy for being a living tribute to his supernatural cuckolding; his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) is the archetypical scheming, neutered, jealous brother figure right down to the facial scar. The dialogue this family of mongoloids tosses around is stunningly brainless, ditto their character beats. Hercules can't understand how a mystical stranger knows his identity, even though he just moments ago exited a packed coliseum chanting his name. Iphicles defies villainy and menace when he threatens his betrothed Hebe (Gaia Weiss), long in love with Hercules, with the terrible fate of "accepting [him] and loving [their] children equally!" And the dad... jeez, that guy must really be proud of his teeth.
With no artistic feat successfully accomplished (or even braved, really) by this movie, we can at the very least call it inoffensive. There is nothing in The Legend of Hercules with which to take issue beyond its dismal intellect, and in a genre especially prone to regressive activity, this is a noteworthy triumph. But you might not have enough energy by the end to award The Legend of Hercules with this superlative. Either because you'll have laughed yourself into a coma at the film's idiocy, or because you'll have lost all strength trying to fend it off.
1/5
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Rapper Jim Jones' fiancee Chrissy Lampkin has been arrested following an alleged bust-up at a New Jersey bar. The reality TV star was taken into custody early on Sunday morning (29Dec13) in the town of Edgewater.
A representative for the Edgewater Police Department tells TMZ.com that Lampkin was charged with aggravated assault and disorderly conduct and was released on bail a few hours later.

Lions Gate via Everett Collection
When we last left our heroes, they had conquered all opponents in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, returned home to their newly refurbished living quarters in District 12, and fallen haplessly to the cannibalism of PTSD. And now we're back! Hitching our wagons once again to laconic Katniss Everdeen and her sweet-natured, just-for-the-camera boyfriend Peeta Mellark as they gear up for a second go at the Capitol's killing fields.
But hold your horses — there's a good hour and a half before we step back into the arena. However, the time spent with Katniss and Peeta before the announcement that they'll be competing again for the ceremonial Quarter Quell does not drag. In fact, it's got some of the film franchise's most interesting commentary about celebrity, reality television, and the media so far, well outweighing the merit of The Hunger Games' satire on the subject matter by having Katniss struggle with her responsibilities as Panem's idol. Does she abide by the command of status quo, delighting in the public's applause for her and keeping them complacently saturated with her smiles and curtsies? Or does Katniss hold three fingers high in opposition to the machine into which she has been thrown? It's a quarrel that the real Jennifer Lawrence would handle with a castigation of the media and a joke about sandwiches, or something... but her stakes are, admittedly, much lower. Harvey Weinstein isn't threatening to kill her secret boyfriend.
Through this chapter, Katniss also grapples with a more personal warfare: her devotion to Gale (despite her inability to commit to the idea of love) and her family, her complicated, moralistic affection for Peeta, her remorse over losing Rue, and her agonizing desire to flee the eye of the public and the Capitol. Oftentimes, Katniss' depression and guilty conscience transcends the bounds of sappy. Her soap opera scenes with a soot-covered Gale really push the limits, saved if only by the undeniable grace and charisma of star Lawrence at every step along the way of this film. So it's sappy, but never too sappy.
In fact, Catching Fire is a masterpiece of pushing limits as far as they'll extend before the point of diminishing returns. Director Francis Lawrence maintains an ambiance that lends to emotional investment but never imposes too much realism as to drip into territories of grit. All of Catching Fire lives in a dreamlike state, a stark contrast to Hunger Games' guttural, grimacing quality that robbed it of the life force Suzanne Collins pumped into her first novel.
Once we get to the thunderdome, our engines are effectively revved for the "fun part." Katniss, Peeta, and their array of allies and enemies traverse a nightmare course that seems perfectly suited for a videogame spin-off. At this point, we've spent just enough time with the secondary characters to grow a bit fond of them — deliberately obnoxious Finnick, jarringly provocative Johanna, offbeat geeks Beedee and Wiress — but not quite enough to dissolve the mystery surrounding any of them or their true intentions (which become more and more enigmatic as the film progresses). We only need adhere to Katniss and Peeta once tossed in the pit of doom that is the 75th Hunger Games arena, but finding real characters in the other tributes makes for a far more fun round of extreme manhunt.
But Catching Fire doesn't vie for anything particularly grand. It entertains and engages, having fun with and anchoring weight to its characters and circumstances, but stays within the expected confines of what a Hunger Games movie can be. It's a good one, but without shooting for succinctly interesting or surprising work with Katniss and her relationships or taking a stab at anything but the obvious in terms of sending up the militant tyrannical autocracy, it never even closes in on the possibility of being a great one.
3.5/5
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Warner Bros. Entertainment
Last night's episode, which opened a three-episode arc, began with surveillance footage of a delivery truck pulling up to a car on fire. A person shot at the truck and two people were subsequently knocked out and the assailant then drove off with the truck. Oh, yes, the mystery person was wearing a gas mask.
The show cut to the library, with John Reese (Jim Caviezel) and Harold Finch (Michael Emerson). Apparently the Machine, which is the center of the whole show, has issued 38 numbers. (A brief primer - this machine, which uses all kinds of surveillance footage, issues numbers for people who are in potential danger. It's then up to Reese, Finch and anyone in their network to save these people.) These numbers turn out to be all cops. Hmm.
Detective Lionel Fusco (Kevin Chapman), one of the people Reese and Finch regularly call on, came up to the morning scene of the smoldering car. Reese surprised him by also coming up and presenting a fake badge. It turned out to be a Russian driving the truck; for those who have been following the show, you know that the Russian mob has been intertwined with the mysterious HR, a criminal element of corrupt cops. An element that Fusco used to be part of. Reese and Finch knew that a war is possibly brewing between HR and the Russians, since HR was supposed to give safe passage for the Russians to trade their illicit wares. Reese wondered, "Who lit the fuse?"
This show REALLY does well in going back and forth in time. The footage rewound to Nov. 10 (the show pretty much operates as if it is happening on the very day that it airs). Another Reese/Finch cohort, police officer Joss Carter (Taraji P. Henson), was meeting with Alonzo Quinn - a prominent member of City Hall, the godfather of the late Cal Beecher (a love interest of Carter's) and the head of HR, which Carter now knew from events in last week's episode. She purposely sounded pessimistic when talking with Quinn, saying she was thinking of stepping down from the Beecher investigation. Clarke Peters continued doing a great job of playing Quinn as a sociopath. Quinn left but not before Carter used another technology often featured on the show: She paired her phone with his, so that she could hear whatever calls he makes or receives. She heard him talking with Patrick Simmons, a corrupt cop and pretty much Quinn's right-hand man, to set up a meetup with the Russian Mafia and their big man, Peter Yogorov. They met and of course, Carter was nearby with a directional mike. Yogorov complained that he was more like an errand boy and then said that he was done. Simmons fired a verbal warning shot by saying that they wouldn't provide safe passage for their delivery vehicles anymore, which Carter duly noted. Simmons then told a dirty cop that he wanted him to stake out Carter.
Carter went home and found Reese waiting there. There's always an undercurrent between those two. Reese is very protective, but Carter wasn't having any of it this time. She said that she wanted to be left alone - since the law says he's a criminal and HR knew they work together. Reese seemed to respect that and then as he was leaving, tossed over his shoulder for her to call if she got in over her head. After seeing that the former CIA operative was gone, she took the phone that Finch and Reese contact her on, removed the sim card and smashed it with her gun. Well...that was a statement. Not necessarily a SMART one, but a statement.
Two more flashbacks were woven through the episode dealing with Carter and her ex, Paul, at different junctures in time - eight years ago and five years ago. Eight years ago, Paul was a defiant man who refused to get help for his PTSD during military service. Carter had enough and made him leave. At first he was defiant and even went to her home and sat with their young son. He got angry when she told him he still needed help and even smashed a lamp, causing her to reach for her gun. He left, angry. Then the five-year flashback showed that he HAD gotten help and while he knew it was too late to repair their relationship, he wanted to be there for them.. and he left her his number to call if she needed help. This all played a part in the end .
Flash forward to present day, with Carter and Fusco sitting near a dock. Carter had been shutting Fusco out, but her former partner reached out after she had lost her current partner in a shooting. Fusco was trying to figure out how everything happened, but Carter, who had actually been there, diverted his attention. After Fusco left, she made a phone call...which turned out to be to Carl Elias (Enrico Colantoni), an ally only in the sense of keeping one's enemies closer than one's friends. Elias, who had been in hiding, paid a visit to Yogorov, which was awkward because Elias had killed Yogorov's dad. After convincing Yogorov that he hated HR more than him, he left an incriminating file for Yogorov to pore over.
After Carter got a confirmation phone call from Elias and told him to lay low, a recent cohort, Samantha Shaw (Sarah Shahi), met with her unbeknownst to Reese and Finch (because they would have had a collective aneurysm) and brought a satchel of guns. That led up to the scene with the burning car and delievery truck. It was Carter who did it. Later, Reese and Finch saw the footage and after sussing out that it was a female, thought it was Shaw. Turns out Shaw spilled the beans that it was Carter, leaving both Reese and Finch in a state of consternation
An angry Yogorov called Quinn, accusing him of the theft of the truck. Quinn tried to play cool, but the mobster threatened him. This was interspersed with Carter on a nearby rooftop overlooking Quinn's office.
While Carter was busy, Reese went to her house (he tends to ignore personal boundaries) and found it empty but located a bulletin board with her HR list. Reese called Finch and then got a call from Carter. She asked him to trust her, which he did, reluctantly. Afterwards, Simmons called Quinn and while they were conversing, Carter shot out his window with a sniper gun, making him think it was the Russians, setting the stage for an all-out war, a war that Finch said favors HR, since they have the law on their side.
There were scenes of Russian men being rounded up by HR and then Carter went to a cornered Yogorov and warned him. The only solution? Have her arrest him, a point she punctuated by holding up handcuffs.
This was a half hour's worth. The writers do NOT dilly-dally, which makes a very fast show. It felt like an hour's worth of excitement had been crammed in that shorter span.
The second half-hour began with Yogorov in holding under a fake name. Carter said that he shot at Quinn and that she knows Quinn is head of HR. She also said that Quinn HAS to go down and needs him to sign a statement as such. The carrot that she dangled was moving his brother, who HR has in Rikers as leverage, to a safer facility. Yogorov bit, but not before warning her to be careful which judge she chose to get a warrant on Quinn, since there's a lot of money moving around. Carter assured him that she had done her due diligence.
Carter surprised Fusco outside his place and after some back and forth on the subject of trust, she admitted that she's protecting him and gave him the key to a safe deposit box that has everything on HR. Hey, if that's not trust, I don't know what is. Fusco was so moved at this that he wanted to help and ran upstairs to get equipment, but of course Carter ditched him, since she needs to be the lone wolf.
HR had the mobsters at a shipyard and were all set for some gunplay. Reese and Shaw were at the scene, hiding. But just as the HR cops pulled their guns out, the FBI came screeching in. After a brief conversation, they found drugs in the trunk of a high-ranking HR cop's car. Fusco called Reese to say that Carter ditched him.
Carter called a judge for a warrant, but after he agreed to, he hung up and called Quinn. Oops. Right then I had a vision of the ancient Knight Templar in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: "You have chosen...poorly."
Before heading to the judge, Carter called Paul and had a heartfelt conversation with both him and her son, who was staying there. After hanging up, she drove to the judge, who escorted her to his living room, where Simmons, Quinn and several other dirty cops were waiting. With guns. Quinn had to have a little speech, and Carter got him to keep talking...for them to record his words on his own phone (Knight Templar: "Oops. You chose wisely! Wisely!") and in that moment of stunned silence, Reese burst in through the doors like the Terminator, guns ablaze. Carter managed to grab Quinn, who got winged by a shot, and managed to drag him outside while he defiantly kept saying that this was the worst mistake she ever made. A cop car came screeching into the driveway, but Reese shot out its engine and they made their getaway while the cop took cover behind his car door.
Of course, though, Simmons got a picture from the police car dashboard. and directed that the image of Reese, Carter and Quinn be distributed to EVERYONE. Including criminal elements. The episode ended there...which was good, since I almost permanently whitened my knuckles during the last 10 minutes.
The wheels are rolling and it's going to be VERY interesting to see what happens in the next two episodes.
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Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson is set to go head to head with Dame Judi Dench for the Best Actress prize at the British Indie Film Awards. Johansson has been nominated for her role in sci-fi thriller Under The Skin, while Dench landed a nod for her film Philomena, and the two stars will go up against Lindsay Duncan (Le Week-end), Felicity Jones (The Invisible Woman) and Saoirse Ronan (How I Live Now).
James McAvoy is up for the Best Actor prize for his role in crime comedy Filth and will compete against Tom Hardy (Locke), Jack O'Connell (Starred Up), Jim Broadbent (Le Week-end) and Steve Coogan (Philomena).
Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine is in the running for Best International Film, along with Blue is the Warmest Color, Frances Ha, Italian movie The Great Beauty and Saudi Arabian/German picture Wadjda.
Nominations for Best British film include Metro Manila, Philomena, The Selfish Giant, Starred Up and Le Week-end.
The prizegiving will be hosted by Northern Irish actor James Nesbitt in London on 8 December (13).

Danny Feld/NBC
With Parks and Recreation's annoying and surprising hiatus, the actors have had some time to mess around on Reddit. Last week, we had Aziz Ansari's AMA, and this week, his on-screen BFF Retta told Reddit to ask her anything. The actress is internet savvy and endlessly entertaining, and she seems to at least share her character's affinity for snappy answers and Twitter. If you like her answers to this AMA, check out her live tweets of her favorite shows, from Sherlock to Scandal.
The difference between herself and Donna: "I'm much goofier than Donna. Donna does not suffer fools and sometimes I do because I'm more polite."
The Parks and Rec cast member with the best butt: "I would have to say Chris Pratt, now that he's all buff and cock diesel."
Her favorite piece of classical music: "Vivaldi's Gloria."
On Fitz and Olivia from Scandal: "I can only say that the writing of that relationship is so well-done that I root for it, even though I know it's an adulterous relationship. The actors do such a good job, and Shonda and company did such a good job writing it, that I can't help but want them to be together even though I know it's f****d up that he's married."
Her comedic inspirations: "Chris Rock, Tina Fey, honestly right now I'm really into Mindy Kaling, Lena Dunham, Amy Poehler."
Her favorite characters from Orange is the New Black: "Hmm! I'm torn between Crazy Eyes and Tastee. Tastee makes me laugh at every turn, but Crazy Eyes has some depth that I'm dying to get to know about."
Whether the actor (Jim O'Heir) who plays Jerry on Parks and Rec is like his character: "Absolutely not. Jim is the most crass person, dirty-joke telling person I've ever met in my life. Jerry would blanch at anything Jim O'Heir says."
On the absence of Ann (Rashida Jones) on Parks and Rec: I think it will change the dynamic behind the scenes because Amy and Aubrey are so close to Rashida, and then obviously it will change onscreen in that Leslie doesn't have her best friend there so you will lose those interactions but I know the writers will find a way to fill that void. I do think they will come back for future episodes. I don't know but I wouldn't be mad if Idris Elba got added to the cast.
How she treats herself: "With mani-pedis, designer handbags, and online shopping."
The last time she treated herself: "Ha! It was Wednesday, and I bought myself the new Louis Vuitton black vernis Alma bag with the matching zippy wallet. I've been waiting six months for it to come in, and it finally came in. And I bought that bitch."
The Parks and Rec cast member who "can get it":"I can't think of my castmates in that fashion! They are family. But if I had to answer… Rob Lowe."
On BBC's Sherlock: "The Reichenbach Fall f****d me up. I'm dying to see how it's resolved. And I really, really need to know if he's dead or if he is showing up in Watson's imagination. And I love the show. Cumberbatch can get it."
Her favorite Parks and Rec episode: "Well the "Pawnee Rangers" episode. I particularly like the scene where Ben comes out in the Batman suit, because seeing Adam Scott in that Batman suit brought so much joy to every molecule in my body it was unreal."
On Aubrey Plaza: "She can be as awkward as she seems, but I think she does that because she loves to see people's response to it. But she is also a very sweet girl. And I think people would be surprised by that. I probably should not have told you."
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VH1
We don't know how VH1 became home to gloriously ratchet reality shows like Love &amp; Hip Hop Atlanta, but we’re kind of glad it happened. Where else can you ponder the cultural significance of booty shots and keep up with the goings on of beloved Harlem rapper Jim Jones? This week some of our biggest guilty pleasures in reality television are coming back with new seasons, and we’re here to help you get mentally prepared. First, there’s the new trailer for season four of Love &amp; Hip Hop New York:
Get More: Love &amp; Hip Hop, Love and Hip Hop 4
With some of our old favorites like Yandy and Erica Mena (who is in a new relationship...with a woman) making triumphant returns, and the insanity that will be Peter Gunz (functioning as the NYC version of Stevie J) we’re expecting some pretty heavy drama.
And then there’s good ol’ Chrissy &amp; Mr. Jones:
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A lot’s changed since the first season of this show -- Jim’s son from a previous relationship comes to live with the couple, and Mama Jones writing a sex book...actually, that sounds about right. Either way, we’ll be tuning in and enjoying all of the madness. Plus, all of the wholesome family stuff should balance out the very bad things we’re sure to see (and enjoy...guiltily) on Love &amp; Hip Hop New York.
Love &amp; Hip Hop New York and Chrissy &amp; Mr. Jones premiere Monday, October 28 on VH1.
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Rapper Jim Jones has been booked for driving under the influence (DUI). The musician's vehicle was pulled over by cops in New York who suspected it was travelling too fast but Jones was taken into custody after failing a field sobriety test.
Editors at Tmz.com report the rapper had bloodshot eyes when he was stopped in the early hours of Wednesday (02Oct13) and refused to take a Breathalyzer test to determine his level of intoxication before he was booked.

Joseph Okpako/Getty Images
Azealia Banks was hailed as the next big thing, like, a million years ago (in pop culture time). But with all the album push-backs, and all the Twitter beefs, it's been easy to forget that the talented Harlem rapper could still be the next big thing! Broke with Expensive Taste is currently slated for a January 2014 release, and even though we were originally expecting it this year (and before that in 2012), there's still plenty to get psyched about. As we patiently wait to hear what a real, live Azealia Banks album sounds like, let's give this Yung Rapunxel movement a little push. Here are five reasons we desperately need Azealia to become a true staple in Hip-Hop.
Her Beefs Make For Some Pretty Good Diss Records
Okay, so we're not really supposed to condone beef, but it is a part of Hip-Hop culture and it has made for some classic songs over the years. Azealia has beefed with everyone from Lady Gaga to Jim Jones (to Angel Haze, to Perez Hilton, to Lil Kim, etc.), and some of the tracks -- like "No Problems" -- have actually been pretty dope.
The Sausage Party Is Getting Old
Kanye West, Jay Z, Kendrick Lamar, A$AP Rcoky, J. Cole, Drake, Lil Wayne, etc.-- we love you guys. Really, we do. But the sausage party is getting old, as sausage parties are wont to do. And although it's cliché to point out the lack of women in, well, anything, we simply need more women in Hip-Hop! From what we've seen, Azealia has her own brand of femininity that could definitely liven this party up.
We Need More Of Her Super-Dope Videos
Azealia is not afraid to pull on influences from a variety of genres, which makes her way more fun to watch than the average person. R&amp;B, pop, rap, rave -- all genres are up for grabs. And when her eclectic style gets translated into visuals, it's always an experience.
She’s Sexy And Sexual, Without Making That The Foundation Of Her Appeal
This is hugely important, and almost impossible for a woman in Hip-Hop (or any other artistic movement) to achieve. Even though she was featured on the cover of Dazed &amp; Confused blowing up a condom, and she definitely plays up on her sex appeal, Azealia manages to come off more New York funky-fashionista-turned-rapper than anything else. While artists like Lil Kim, Foxy Brown, and Nicki Minaj have surely influenced her (and paved the way for her to do her own particular thing) it's refreshing and exciting to see a femme rapper take a slightly different approach to her image.
"212" Is Still The Jam
It's hard to believe that Azealia's debut single dropped back in 2011, mainly because it is still the jam! "212" introduced listeners to a unique style, and it was seriously difficult to place Azealia in one particular box. All good signs of good things to come.
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WENN
There's a shift going on in movie and video watching. DVDs are facing heavy competition from places like Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, who are streaming content and there's also movies On Demand - all of which mean people are deciding between paying $20 a month to watch nearly all the new movies that are also out on DVD with a much wider range of content or paying $20-$99 a piece for a single-DVD or box set. But these are five of the ones that we have kept;
The Muppets/Sesame Street
As the parent of a young child, I have around 30 or more of these that my wife and I have kept to play in heavy rotation. Fortunately, they are much less expensive than movie DVDs - costing around $5 as opposed to costing $20. Since my child loves nearly everything Jim Henson-related (alas, I cannot get him into Fraggle Rock), I also own plenty of Muppet movies and The Muppet Show. The Pros: I keep my son occupied while working and also relive my younger days when I watched Sesame Street too. These include the Sesame Street Old School DVDs which have episodes from the '70s, when I was growing up. Cons: If I hear "Can You Tell Me How To Get..." ONE MORE TIME, I may plunge something sharp into my eardrums. We may or may not also be seeing the Wiggles in concert in October.
All Six Star Wars Movies
Yes, I even own The Phantom Menace because I'm such a completionist. Of course, I'm a sucker for the original trilogy - I saw A New Hope when it first came out in the theater. (We called it Star Wars then because...well...The Empire Strikes Back hadn't come out yet.) We forget how groundbreaking they were in this day and age of super special effects. These movies are ones that I can watch over and over and over. I'm saving room for when the seventh movie comes out. The Indiana Jones Trilogy + 1
Like I said in a previous piece, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull NEVER HAPPENED. Just to prove my point I bought that one on DVD at a deep discount during a store chain going out of business. The rest I got in a box set. I can watch any of them at any time. Yes, even Temple of Doom, though I do tend to mute the Kate Capshaw parts. Harrison Ford is lucky that he's getting my DVD income in both Star Wars and this. Scrubs
I own nearly every Scrubs set. I just don't have the final season, the one where Zach Braff had left the show and not even John C. McGinley and Donald Faison could save it. It was one of the best-written and funny shows that I have ever seen, with some of the most human characters too. Dr. Perry Cox is one of my favorite characters of all time. The Princess Bride
This is a case of saving the best for last. In my mind, it's the greatest movie of all time - the funniest and most quotable movie of all time with the greatest characters too. C'mon. Don't lie. You know that if you're flipping through the channels and you see that it's on, you're going to sit down and re-visit with Westley, Buttercup, Inigo Montoya, Fezzik and Vizzini all over again. It's inconceivable that you wouldn't.
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