Boffins Measured Pamela Anderson's Tits in Global Warming Cock-Up

Frantic PETTING and HEAVY BREATHING over global warming is enough to terrify even the most rational retired colonel, and it's all because so-called global warming scientists neglected the real data and obsessed on Pamela Anderson's fake HOT TITS, The Spoof reveals today.

The real hot news is that the Earth isn't really hotting up like Pamela's FALSIES at all!!

And what heartbreak these white-coated miseries have caused. This week The Spoof visits a poor kiddies' hospital and interviews scores of suicidal tots who all say, "The Earth is melting like my lolly. In a few years there will be no oxygen and my teddy will be dead. Al Gore is a bastard. I'm going to kill him because he killed my teddy."

All because pervy Scientists put their instruments between Pamela Anderson's FAKE KNOCKERS and the mercury rose!!

For many children and impressionable simpletons, global warming is a defining moment. Whereas for scientists, global warming is just about a pair of GOLDEN GLOBES made in a Taiwanese factory. We say, How sad!!!

But we're not just in this to SELL A BOOK:

Click here to buy Misses, Myths and their Vital Statistics, by John Tosser investigative writer for The Spoof'sPlain Fact. Darned Silly: Get Out the Sick Bucket -- Why Everything You Read In the Newspapers is Bollocks (Available in three-ply soft tissue)