"It's not that weird to say, 'May I have some cocaine?'" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E07)

"I don't always understand Peralta's texts. He says, 'They're still waiting on the lab' and 'It's allz good' – 'allz' with a Z. Then, a box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, and yet another box with a question mark. Then, a box with a question mark. What does that mean?"
"It means you don't have emojis on your phone." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E07)

CGI Atlanta is so flat (The Walking Dead, S05E06)

"I want to be the bad boy of public radio, like Elvis Mitchell." (Bob's Burgers, S05E03)

(Mr. Pickles, S01E09)

"I was born without genitals."
"Then where do you go pee pee or poo poo?"
"You don't want to know." (Mr. Pickles, S01E09)

The audience booing Grumpy Cat (WWE Raw, 11-17-14)

Gotham has a munitions factory (Gotham, S01E09)

Sergei from Delocated playing another Russian mobster (Gotham, S01E09)

"What is that?"
"It's, uh, speed weed from Taco. I've been up for 48 hours straight having sex, and then after I have sex, I masturbate, and then after that, I look at pictures of corn, which I find is a huge turn-on for me."
"You're jerking off to corn?" (The League, S06E12)

"Soft cheese, hard dick!" (The League, S06E12)

Tom Condon? (The League, S06E13)

"A pax on all of your homes!"
"Think you mean 'pox,' Ruxin."
"No, I mean that the only cable network you all should get is PAX." (The League, S06E13)