The last few panels were a bit confusing to me. Most people have already pointed out what could be fixed."Showed us a pregnant bitch" is really vague, and technically he didn't "show" her to them. It was more implied to us as the audience, and something Iacar figured out. None of the other pages of the comic showed the others of Iacar's pack knowing of her pregnancy, either. So we, the audience, don't know that was the main reason they gave up their land. Everything else that played out made it seem more like a general shift in territory because of the were-rabbits. Like, Iacar got kicked out because he had a much smaller pack and had better lands, and so the bigger and stronger pack would take it. Not once until now was I lead to believe that they gave it up because of a random pregnant female. Perhaps that could have been a bit more clear.So instead, Sur should have said "Our neighboring leader had a pregnant bitch in his pack" And perhaps just to make her sardonic/sarcastic attitude more effective, I would have made her insult Iacar about it by saying "and our own Iacar here so very kindly presented our territory to them and exiled us from the only home we had." It seems like a lot of speech, but to me that would seem more effective and make a little more sense.

Then, of course, "Nightclaw died giving birth" instead of "died of birth." And then I am confused as to what is going on in that very last panel. He's not wiping his nose, the action marks clearly indicate he is swiping at the skulls, yet the word is "wipe." There is a difference between these words. IF he was wiping his nose, why would the action marks indicate it was a fast/dramatic motion? But if he is swiping at the skulls, that would make more sense just from what the action drawn shows us. However I still have no idea why he would.

This has been the most confusing page for me yet xD but it's mostly small stuff.

I'm sorry if this is hard to follow. The whole taking up the pregnant bitch is Surama bitching at Iacar, not telling the audience something the audience already knows. I spent the whole first book telling why the pack left, this dialogue is more like me fixing up things I skipped in the past (I had to bring up a point of Iacar's personality that I will need established in the future and I'm running out of pages to show it). I had left it out of the first book out of fear of too much talking heads, so the establishing is coming late, but I must have it at least hinted at before the next book starts, since after that I don't really have more chances to it.

I have now tried to fix the overly speedy lines on the last panel, and I'm afraid I turned the whole thing into a giant blob of correction fluid. I can't scan it now (I'm out of town visiting my family) but I hope I managed to fix it. (He is wiping his nose.) I'll have to edit Crippled's speech too when I get back at my place, I was stupid enough not to save the editable file of the page.

The speech makes is more primitive, even if it's a product of odd translation, it adds to the character, they are animals, they have no need for long dialog when a simple "Died of birth" suffices in literal terms, it may seem odd to us, but it makes sense for them.

Surama is also speaking in the sense of how she saw it, she's bitter but she still respects Iacar, hence she made aware the pregnant bitch the other pack had. She knew it wasn't really Iacar's fault. She basically contradicts herself and tells us that he really didn't "Just hand over our territory". WolfPearl explains in page 8 that cavebeasts infested Pyramos' lands(mainly the den caves, in which he needed because of the pregnant bitch), and with no other lands to take because they all had more numbers and strength, that left Iacar's land; which only had a small and easier to defeat pack. So Iacar didn't "Hand it over", they would have all died in an ensuing battle that would have happened had he not simply agreed to see why Pyramos was evicting them, plus he knew the risk of birthing even with a good den(his own mate).

Page 25 shows us the pregnant bitch, with Iacar's pack listening in on the conversation using Cripple's awesome hearing and Morri/Iralbe's eyesight. Page 26 shows them discussing the pups not being Pyramos' because he is deepblooded, and the pups would be even more mutated. So they do know about the pregnant bitch.

As for the "wipe" maybe it's a hellhound salute? It is low enough to be him wiping his nose, but it is odd, I agree.

I'm confused: I thought this wolf who has multiple eyes and is bigger than the others (I forgot his name) have difficulties pronouncing "s" sounds, but in first and second panel he has no problem at all with speaking.. Could you explain what kind of s sounds are difficult for him? :''D

(I use to have problems speaking s sounds so I guess I assumed that he also has all s's more fs or ft sounds..)

In the next to last panel, it should be something like, "Nightclaw died during birth." Or better yet, "Nightclaw died while giving birth." since the first could be a little confusing.

other than that, though, it looks great <3 i know how hard it is to translate things and make them make sense... sometimes it's best to just figure out how to say it in another language... maybe not an EXACT translation, but it gets the meaning across.

"died giving birth" definitely sounds better. Also I'd have to agree with some of the other comment, "It left an impression" sounds a little better than "it left a mark". Although I must say I knew what you meant by both comments originally!

In the bottom corner you can see Iacar sat with his head bowed, The tree has a skull on it (Nightclaw, his mate's skull) and the little beads suspended by ropes on the lowest branches (5 in all) represent their dead puppies.