I am the Jacksonville Jerk.

Ray Hollister, co-host of local radio program Deemable Tech and hero to Northeast Florida baby boomers made waves with some internet tech-heads Tuesday morning when he asserted on-air that the highly anticipated Oculus Rift would pale in comparison to 1995’s Nintendo Virtual Boy. Hollister praised the Virtual Boy’s “crisp graphics” and “rad software”, stating that the device offered “a totally immersive, three dimensional virtual playground” that the Oculus Rift couldn’t hope to match “on its best day.”

Later that day, Hollister was seen on Deemable Tech’s internet forums, defending his position to doubting techno-thomases. “Look”, Hollister wrote under the web-name CYbRd00d, “Oculus Rift is a baby toy. It is literally a toy for babies. Virtual Boy, on the other hand, has changed the way I think about gaming. It’s given me the key to open the multiverse and the power to shape entire worlds as I see fit. I am God here.” Hollister’s Deemable Tech co-host, Tom Braun, could not be reached for comment, as he was busy teaching someone’s grandmother how to surf the web for bundt cake recipes.