"I bought the argument several years ago that Bowden had earned the right to set the terms of his retirement. But that's when he was barely 70. Now, he's knocking on the door of 80 and this once proud program can't be identified even with DNA samples."

Finebaum was just getting started:

"However, Bowden is hanging on for dear life, not because he really wants to, according to friends. He simply does not want Joe Paterno to end his career with more wins. Right now, Bowden has 373 wins, two more than the 80-year-old Paterno.

"So the beat goes on for the FSU program, apparently being held hostage while Bowden and Paterno battle in college football's home version of 'Grumpy Old Men.' "