A massive parade is to be held in Newry on Saturday in support of grey rights we can reveal.

The ‘Grey Pride’ parade will start from the Town Hall at 12pm and make its way to Monaghan Street where it will be addressed by well-known grey pride activist and proud grey man Councillor Davy Hyland.

Parade organiser Stevie McDonnell the one in a row All Ireland winner from BAGA (Balding And Greying Alliance) told Newry Spud:

“This parade will be a great day for the parish. For too long us greys and baldies have been discriminated against. We didn’t choose to be grey or balding; it’s just the way we were born.

I recently asked to get a birthday cake from The Shelbourne in support of grey rights and was told that it was against their ‘company policy’ to make me one. This is medieval stuff.”