Pictures and thoughts from a Memphis Musician's Wife

Posts tagged ‘lonely’

The Road can be a hard thing to deal with. Being away from your husband for any extended length of time can be difficult, but it is even harder when you work together and spend pretty much all of your time together.

When I started dating Jeremy, he performed every day. I can hardly remember one off day (they are still few and far between). I’d just moved back home, leaving a bad situation to start all over again. We spent every moment we had together. I learned quickly how to set his equipment up, not that it was very hard (he had a 63 key keyboard then). As I attended more and more of his gigs, I kind of took on the role of band mom. I would play the role of waitress, merch sales lady, sound tech, roadie, and so much more. I did this everywhere I went with Jeremy, and with every band, as he played with several. We didn’t have a car, so we were limited to riding on the bus with his equipment, sometimes having to walk home if we could not get a ride or have money for a cab home. Fortunately, we lived only 2 miles from Beale Street. This went on for about two years, with Jeremy eventually graduating to an 88 key keyboard. Needless to say, our bond became very tight. We were best friends, marriage partners, business partners, and parents. We still are.

Things changed, though. We were blessed with a vehicle, which opened us up to being able to play with different and better bands. They travel. They actually guarantee a pay (lol). Jeremy was blessed with much better equipment, which of course is heavier and more difficult to move. So, I am still there (as long as “Mommy” duty doesn’t require me to be away). It feels so awkward when I am not there. He has gone on the road, for the second time (only a two day trip), with a band that I very actively assist when I am around them. However, I was not invited on either of their road trips, which is understandable. (I don’t want anyone too take this as me being hurt or mad or anything about me not going on the road with them.) Some people like to tell me to get a life, that my life should not revolve around my husband and my family. Well, what else should it consist of? My husband is a performer. I am a business manager and promotions and marketing specialist. We work together. Our finances are one. Our business is one. Our lives are one. That’s just us. So, when we are apart, it is like a piece of me is missing. I don’t hear music the same when I don’t hear him. The road is lonely for both of us. True enough, I get time to myself and to take care of business I probably would not get done when he is here. I get to go to picnics with old friends and spend some time with family I don’t always get to see. I like it, but it is hard and makes me feel like I am living a dream when he is here. I am glad I get to go on the next road trip with him, but I won’t be happy when the time comes for him to be gone for long periods of time. I just hope that by then we can actually travel together as a family.