Invasion Jokes

I phoned the government, and asked what precautions they had taken against a Dalek invasion.

They told me steps had been put in place.

If it keeps raining, we'll have an invasion of Pilgrims.

April showers bring Mayflowers.

In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy.

They were named the “marine corpse”

What do you call a British soap opera that's been re-named after a successful invasion by ISIS?

Middle East-Enders

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I got a leaflet through the door this morning about home invasions.

I really should lock it when I'm having a shit.

I am a Canadian General planning the invasion of the USA

We can reschedule if it is inconvenient for you guys

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did France say after the German invasion?

I did nazi that coming.

The USA condemns

unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation.

How do you stop an alien invasion?

You build a wall.

Using Microsoft Word

**moves image 1mm to the right**

4 new pages appear.

Global warming.

Alien invasion.

Armageddon.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"How did you go in the exam on Nazi invasions?"

"I blitzed it."

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska?

Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)

Three aliens are discussing the fate of Earth.

After a successful invasion of earth, the leaders of the armada joined together to discuss the ruling of the planet. Each of the leaders had a different idea on how what they should do with the surviving humans.

"These humans are dangerous," said the first. "We all know the losses we took to ...

It was a dark time in Vegetable Land.

The neighboring Fruit Kingdom had launched an invasion months before, and the starchy defenders had fallen quickly to the acidic and citric attackers. After a long campaign, the country had finally fallen and only a few vegetables could meet underground to discuss the future of the resistance. At th...

The king wanted to invade a neighboring country and gathered his entire court to advise him.

Every one of his advisors said the invasion was a bad idea, but the king went ahead and did it anyway - and it was just barely a success!

This proves that a leader is just a little greater than a court.

Giles was late for shooting practice so the Sergeant made him pretend he was holding a pistol and make "Pew pew" sounds.

Giles didn't want to make a fuss so he makes his hands into a pistol and starts saying "pew pew" while aiming.

But the idiot Giles was almost always late. So a lot of "pew pewing" was going on when he was practicing.

After 4 months, there's been an invasion and a full-blown war has s...

The 5 stages of Election Day

The 5 stages of presidential election ending. 1) Denial(while results are being tallied) - this isn't happening. No this can't be.

2) Anger (after the results are in) - the words described are not repeatable and may not be suitable for young children.

3) Bargaining (a few hours a...

Why did Turkey cross the road

To invade Byzantium of course, the Turks were vicious when it came to invasion.