Cole Hamels Suspended Five Games for Beaning Bryce Harper

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Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels has been suspended for five games by Major League Baseball and fined for hitting Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper during the first inning of Sunday's 9-3 win.

What did we learn here, kids? Never admit to any wrongdoing. if you keep your mouth shut, then you'll be exonerated of all charges.

(DISCLAIMER: Do not listen to anything I just said and stay in school).

Anyway, Hamels' suspension may be rendered pointless if it begins Monday (which it will). With the Phillies having an off day Thursday, Hamels could make his next scheduled start. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that Hamels is the first recipient of a "Natitude Adjustment."

Take that, Philadelphia.

Adam Vingan is co-founder and editor of Kings Of Leonsis, a Caps-centric blog. Follow him on Twitter @Adam_KOL and e-mail your story ideas to adamvingan (at) gmail.com.