As we are rounding out the 3rd week of our church wide Daniel Fast, I have been thinking a lot about how much better I feel, how much more I depend on God to overcome the daily temptations, how I can really survive without all that other garbage I put into my body the rest of the year. Yes, it requires more planning on our part, more prepping of food, more reliance on God, more self control, more time, more strength, more of just about everything. But in order to get more of something, most often God asks us to give up something. In the book of Daniel, chapter 1, God told Daniel and his friends if they would have only vegetables and water for 10 days, God would make them 10 times stronger than the rest. Not just 2 times but 10 times!!! I think about this in those moments during this time when I just want a piece of toast, a sip of coffee, a slice of pizza, what have you. God is refining me and making me 10 times stronger.

Now I am really going to challenge you and make it hurt, what if we applied this to how wehandle our money. What if we participated in a sort of Money Fast. Don’t go crazy, I am not telling you to not pay your rent/mortgage, buy food for your family, pay your utility bills, buy gas to get around. What if you decided I am not going to buy that thing I really want. I don’t know what it is for you but for me that list might include a new coach, nicer clothes, new cupboards and counter tops for my kitchen and the list goes on. Or what if you decided I am not going to go on that trip that I really want to go on? What if you said and committed to God and your family that you were not going to do these things until you had paid of all your debt (except your mortgage). What if God says I will make you 10 times stronger in the end for doing this.

Luke 16:10 say’s whoever can be trusted with very little, can be trusted with much.

Yes, like I said above, it will require more planning on your part, more preparation, more reliance on God, more self control, more time, more strength, more of just about everything. Ask me how I know this, because this is the life Kasey and I have been living for the past 8 years.

After the month of January, we will have only 1 last debt left to pay off. It seems like some years have flown by while others dragged along just like the Daniel Fast! But like Daniel, we are stronger, 10 times stronger!!! Most importantly we have learned to rely on God more and more for everything.

Philippians 4:19 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus

God has and continues to refine us and has blessed us in so many ways during this time. And I amnot just talking about blessings with money, more importantly spiritual growth, growth in our ministry, more peace, a closeness between Kasey and I, and the strength to resist temptation. That strength and power that can only come from God.

Psalm 66:10 For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined.

Every year at the end of the Daniel Fast I think I should continue eating like this throughout the year and every year I fall short. I am not perfect, in fact none of us can achieve that, only Jesus Christ who came to live among us could. BUT I am going to shake off any thoughts, worries, fears that I cannot do it. What if I could be 10 times stronger in all knowledge and skill in all wisdom and literature? What if this allowed me interpret more dreams and experience more visions from God? What if I stopped trying to do it on my own strength and drew that strength from God? What if?????

I never want to miss an opportunity to give glory to God. So do you mind if I just brag about Him for a minute?

Josh, and I come from hard backgrounds. Without too much detail, It’s still a daily reality check when I see where we are today, with our heads on straight. I can sit here now, and look over the 12 years, and see where God was working in our lives. Although we didn’t see it then (I see what you did there now) thank goodness we didn’t screw anything up… This last year has been a daunting task of house shopping. (I never want to do it again!) I reflect over the year a lot. A summary; we put offers in on 4 different homes, 4 of which were accepted. Process went as far as inspections. To which each answer was a big fat NO from the VA err I mean God, for many different reasons. From the very beginning, I got on my knees and prayed, ‘your will, your way Lord.’

This last year my main thing I needed to work on was being obedient to Him. The process of going to Him FIRST, and waiting for His answer. (Even with the little things) and not seeking this through others. So I practiced DAILY on giving every decision over to Him. So that came “easier” when we had to walk away from four. Different. Homes. It felt like we never were going to get a home. So I cried out to Him, and asked him to give me peace & ANSWERS…. Immediately peace was given, I stopped over-analyzing, I stopped pulling up those old addresses on Redfin and staring at those professional pictures for hours…the ones that captured that open floor plan just right. The yellow one with the brick fireplace, and finished basement. Uh, it was easy to stop looking at the one with the backyard you could spit across.

In the last process of getting our earnest money back, God put an idea in my head. Brand. New. Home. What?! It was kinda like ‘If you build it, they will come.’ From Field Of Dreams, but less creepy – weird our address is fielding street. coincidence? Most likely ;). No babe we’re not building a baseball field, we’re building a house, to bring glory to God.

So long story short were a week away from closing on our brand new home. ‘Holly, will you ever do it again?’ ‘No, never!’ It’s been no picnic…but the moral of the story is -my obedience to Him, (here Lord here’s something else I CAN’T handle without you)…along the road there was some huge “slaps” in the face, like sermons on, ‘nothing’s to small or big for Him.’ ‘Nothing is more important than Him.’ ‘Put nothing before Him.’ ‘When you give things to Him, he gives them back to you BETTER.’ That last one He left me in complete awe! Again I have to just say (I see what you did there God).. Some good friends told us to just pray, and give it all over to Him, and we did. So the nitty gritty is, give EVERYTHING over to Him. That little situation you think you can handle on your own? He can do, and do BETTER! Ask me how I know.

God has also told me; there’s His work to be done in this house, I’m not quite sure what that looks like yet, but I’m going to keep praying & trusting. He wants to take these burdens from us, He wants us to cry out to Him, He wants us to pray! He wants us to bring Him glory!!!!!!!!!! This was all for Him, (we just got lucky in the deal.) He’s given me such revaluation on that, I just made sure I was obedient, and checking my heart condition daily, while walking forward. -End result, Father-knows-best! All glory to God.

I have a love/hate relationship with my own story. I HAVE BAGGAGE! I’m sure I’m the only one, right?

I prayed a prayer offering my life to the Lord and asking forgiveness for my sins when I was very young. I then re-dedicated my life as a teenager after custody of me was switched from my mom to my dad. I was broken and I used my people pleasing nature to try and figure out who I was and if I was loved and accepted.

I found myself blurting out my baggage to whoever would listen. Not surprisingly, many people didn’t understand and they didn’t offer me the love and acceptance I so desperately longed for. I was in Christian circles with people from relatively good homes and my heart would break at their lack of understanding of where I had been. Maybe it was because those circles were filled with people who thought Christianity meant looking like you had it altogether. Or maybe (much more likely) I was sharing too much, too soon and without God’s wisdom. I didn’t realize I was trying to obtain a healing from others. I really needed God to heal me. I needed God to declare me righteous.

The Lord is a gentleman. “Come away with me,” He would say, “Let me heal you.” After awhile I stopped blurting out my life story to people. I knew God was offering me the only love and acceptance I would ever need and so I started keeping my heart sacred for Him. A strange thing happened- people started assuming things. Assuming I had a perfect life, or a near perfect one anyway. I enjoyed my new (fake) story. It was one I had been jealous of in others.

I knew a young woman who was adopted by a loving Christian couple. She wore her own label. It read, “adopted” and her self-written subtitle was, “unwanted, unloved and rejected.” She actively rebelled against her parents. I didn’t understand her battle. (I have more grace now.) At the time I wanted to yell and say, “Are you kidding me? I wish I had been adopted! Look at your parents and how amazing they are! You want for nothing!” She was struggling with her identity and I was jealous of it. We were both broken in completely different ways.

I was operating under the misconception that my story was so bad, people couldn’t relate to me. It made me a “messed up” kind of a Christian. When I began to let the Lord heal me, I thought my new title: “Innocent Christian” was much better. But I wasn’t letting the Lord use me by pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I would interact with people who used their past as a crutch. I would hear them blame their circumstance on a variety of things from the way they were raised to a bad relationship where it was clearly all the other person’s fault. The door was now open for me to share my story with wisdom, discernment, and in a way that would bring God glory.

I knew God had done a great work in me when I was volunteering at a non-profit, drop in center. The director was preparing me and she said, “These kids don’t come from good homes like you and I do.” I smiled. It wasn’t the time to tell her the truth. My new title was, “Oh I have a past, but look what God has done (and look what He’s still doing).” Bring on those kiddos. The truth is, we all have a story. It’s not some weird competition. It doesn’t define who we are. I’m not a maltreated child who is now an adult. I am “Heather, daughter of The King.”

So what’s your story? Are there embarrassing, cringe-worthy items? You are far from being alone. Don’t hide them. Pretending those times didn’t exist creates self-righteousness which leads to arrogance. Proverbs 16:5 says, “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.” You’re not in right standing with the Lord because you attend church, volunteer, or have a title. You are in right standing because of what Jesus did and nothing else. At the same time, you can’t put so much emphasis on the past that your sorted history defines who you are either.

God has done and is doing a great work in you. Ask the Lord for wisdom regarding what you should share and when. Let your story tell of God’s grace. Break the cycle of whatever is occurring in your family or your life. You are not a victim. Romans 8:37 says you are “MORE than a conqueror.”