BOULDER, COLORADO (The Borowitz Report)—There were fireworks at Wednesday night’s Republican Presidential debate as the retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson and Texas Senator Ted Cruz sparred over their differing timetables for hastening the end of the world.

While both Carson and Cruz stressed their commitment to accelerating the end times as described in the Book of Revelation, they offered starkly different visions of how they would bring them about.

When Carson said he hoped to bring the world to an end during his first term in office, he received a mocking rebuke from Cruz.
“That’s not soon enough,” the Texas senator said. “When I am President, I will start working to make the Rapture happen on day one.”

Although the two traded barbs about the apocalypse for several minutes, the biggest applause line on the subject belonged to the former Hewlett-Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina. “These two gentlemen talk a good game about Armageddon, but I’ve made it happen,” she said, to a standing ovation.

As I am chuckling over the perfection of the graphic on the home page, which brilliantly distills the essence of the candidates for the Republican Debate lineup tonight, I am pretty damn grateful for his wit and professionalism and that EarlG allows us to partake in it.

I laud EarlG and I'll drink to him every time one of them tonight says something I can agree with.
Your admirer who will in all probablility remain stone cold sober

Washington was in turmoil on Tuesday morning as a House select committee abruptly cancelled its Benghazi hearings shortly after former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced that she was withdrawing from the Presidential race.

Secretary Clinton’s stunning announcement came at 9:00 A.M., followed by the committee chairman Trey Gowdy’s decision to cancel the hearings at 9:04.

“As you know, we have been preparing for this week’s hearings for months,” Gowdy said. “However, after meeting with fellow committee members over the past four minutes, we’ve come to the conclusion that we know all we need to know about Benghazi.”
Gowdy flatly denied that the decision to cancel the long-awaited Benghazi hearings had anything to do with Clinton’s sudden departure from the race. “We wish her well in whatever her future endeavors may be,” he said.

But shortly after Gowdy’s announcement, Clinton called an impromptu press conference at 9:13 to announce that she was jumping back into the race. “I was just trying to prove a point,” she told reporters, before heading off to campaign stops in Iowa and New Hampshire.

Minutes after Clinton’s second announcement, an irate Gowdy called her decision to reenter the race “beyond unethical” and revealed that the committee’s investigators had just uncovered fresh evidence about Benghazi.

Just talked to my brother, who lives in Karlsruhe, a beautiful large old city near the French Border.
He made a casual comment about the refugees from Syria and the middle Eastern war zones and I then asked a few questions until I could hear no more:

I learned that there are about 1 million refugees being absorbed into the country (realize, Germany is about the size of NC and SC combined, actually I think smaller)

that most of them are men and unaccompanied children

that they intend to bring their families together once they are established somewhere, and that the tally from those already in the country could therefore swell to 3-5 million total

that Germany is thinking of taking into eminent domain unoccupied buildings to house them

that at his daughter’s school there are three classrooms already set up for refugee children

that many are living in tent cities

that his wife goes and cooks in a soup kitchen for them twice a week, and so does his 15 year old son

He says that the population in general has empathy and is trying to incorporate and help, but many are saying it would be cheaper and more appropriate to put them on airplanes and send them to the country that started the destabilization of the Middle East in the first place, which is also a country with wide open plains that once said: Give me your tired…..

After the response to my five year old daughter's original musings on the last Republican debate (http://www.dailykos.com/...), she was eager to share her thoughts on the first Democratic debate. She actually rushed us home from dinner at a local Indian restaurant to catch the opening statements... leaving her Tikka Masala relatively untouched.

After opening statements, her first comment was, "This debate show is too much of a grown up thing."

I guess the implication was that the Republican debate was not a grown up affair.

I said, "Yes it is honey. Yes it is."

I began to ask her about each individual candidate.

First up Sanders: That guy looks like a grandpa. Is he a grandpa?

O'Malley: He looks sad and his voice is trying to be too loud.

Clinton: I like her. I like her lipstick (sidebar, it actually looked like she wasn't wearing very much). I like her earrings and I like her cheeks. Her voice is loud and clear.

Webb: His hair is too short and his voice is kind of quiet and whiny.

Sanders: What is that dot on his coat? (I guess she noticed that it was a dot instead of an American flag pin. I had to say I didn't know. Does anyone else know so I can share with her tomorrow?)

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) is a Democratic candidate for President and has served as Vermont’s junior Senator since 2007. He previously spent 16 years as the state’s sole congressman in the House of Representatives. Sen. Sanders’ campaign raised $1.4 million during and immediately following Tuesday night’s debate.

Twitter: @SenSanders

The Panel:

John Feehery is a columnist for The Hill and chief blogger for TheFeeheryTheory.com, where he recently critiqued the Democratic debate in a post called, “Who Is Your Biggest Enemy?”

Twitter: @JohnFeehery

Johann Hari is a writer and commentator who was twice named “Journalist of the Year” by Amnesty International. He is author of the NY Times bestseller, Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs.

Twitter: @johannhari101

Katrina vanden Heuvel is the Editor and Publisher of The Nation magazine, which is celebrating 150 years in print. She also writes a weekly column for the Washington Post, where her latest article is, “Make the Democratic Debate One of Substance.”

Twitter: @KatrinaNation

Mid-Show Interview:

Lawrence Lessig is a Professor at Harvard Law School and an outspoken champion of campaign finance reform. He is running for the Democratic nomination for President.