Embracing the joyful mystery

By The Rev. Paul Gabriel

Published: Friday, September 27, 2013 at 02:29 PM.

I am Father Paul Gabriel, pastor of Blessed Sacrament Catholic Community. I grew up in a family immersed in traditional Catholicism. The practice of our faith was very much a part of our family dynamic. Attending church and receiving the Sacraments was expected and practiced. But our faith life was more than just expectations and practices; I was surrounded by adults who possessed a deep faith that provided a solid foundation for our family to journey closer to Christ. As young children, when fear, pain or anxiety gripped us, our faith was a soothing balm to address just about anything that came our way. As a small child, when I awakened from a nightmare I remember my maternal grandmother blessing my bed with holy water and placing a religious image that glowed in the dark next to the bed to alleviate my fears, and it worked! I certainly didn’t understand the complexities of this mystical faith, but I did understand that those around me found great comfort within that paradigm. Whatever challenges life brought our way, our faith was a foundation that was always present and to which we turned. As a very young child, I was drawn to the church. The liturgies, the music, the prayers and the rituals appealed to me. As I matured, I realized this draw was an invitation from the Lord to go deeper, but the mystery of it all was incomprehensible to me. This led to many explorations in my life, as well as some starts and stops. The many wonderful and sometimes challenging experiences I had would be difficult to summarize in this limited space, but throughout all of my explorations, there was always a feeling deep within me that the Lord wanted more. I ran and the Lord chased! Sometimes I would stop to listen, but only long enough to plan my next exploration. The mystery was always before me, but I was at a loss of how to embrace it! I married for a short time, had a son, divorced, went through a church annulment of my marriage, moved to the West Coast, and had a career in health care that was successful. However, through all of my explorations, I always felt that God wanted more. I achieved and succeeded, but the holy longing deep within my being made it all feel somewhat anemic, although certainly celebrated! As I approached my 30s, it became clear to me that it was time to embrace the mystery. In my mid-30s, I ventured out of my comfort zone and entered the Conventual Franciscan Friars to become a priest. I did not completely understand the mystery, but I embraced it. That has led me to this place and to many wonderful and challenging experiences. There is still much mystery in all of it, but the many explorations in my life brought me back to where I started. T.S. Eliot expressed it well: “We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started ... and know the place for the first time.” At the age of 55, I am a Franciscan priest, the pastor of a wonderful Catholic community, the father of a loving 32-year-old son, and the grandfather of a beautiful 5-year-old granddaughter. I am also a fellow pilgrim on the journey with many others the Lord has brought my way. Together we explore our faith and help each other to embrace mystery and celebrate it. I may not completely understand this place, but I have returned, and now I know it! God is good!

The Rev. Paul Gabriel is pastor of Blessed Sacrament Church in Burlington and is one of four rotating columnists on the Times-News Religion page.

Reader comments posted to this article may be published in our print edition. All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published
without permission. Links are encouraged.

I am Father Paul Gabriel, pastor of Blessed Sacrament Catholic Community. I grew up in a family immersed in traditional Catholicism. The practice of our faith was very much a part of our family dynamic. Attending church and receiving the Sacraments was expected and practiced. But our faith life was more than just expectations and practices; I was surrounded by adults who possessed a deep faith that provided a solid foundation for our family to journey closer to Christ. As young children, when fear, pain or anxiety gripped us, our faith was a soothing balm to address just about anything that came our way. As a small child, when I awakened from a nightmare I remember my maternal grandmother blessing my bed with holy water and placing a religious image that glowed in the dark next to the bed to alleviate my fears, and it worked! I certainly didn’t understand the complexities of this mystical faith, but I did understand that those around me found great comfort within that paradigm. Whatever challenges life brought our way, our faith was a foundation that was always present and to which we turned.
As a very young child, I was drawn to the church. The liturgies, the music, the prayers and the rituals appealed to me. As I matured, I realized this draw was an invitation from the Lord to go deeper, but the mystery of it all was incomprehensible to me. This led to many explorations in my life, as well as some starts and stops. The many wonderful and sometimes challenging experiences I had would be difficult to summarize in this limited space, but throughout all of my explorations, there was always a feeling deep within me that the Lord wanted more. I ran and the Lord chased! Sometimes I would stop to listen, but only long enough to plan my next exploration. The mystery was always before me, but I was at a loss of how to embrace it! I married for a short time, had a son, divorced, went through a church annulment of my marriage, moved to the West Coast, and had a career in health care that was successful. However, through all of my explorations, I always felt that God wanted more. I achieved and succeeded, but the holy longing deep within my being made it all feel somewhat anemic, although certainly celebrated!
As I approached my 30s, it became clear to me that it was time to embrace the mystery. In my mid-30s, I ventured out of my comfort zone and entered the Conventual Franciscan Friars to become a priest. I did not completely understand the mystery, but I embraced it. That has led me to this place and to many wonderful and challenging experiences. There is still much mystery in all of it, but the many explorations in my life brought me back to where I started. T.S. Eliot expressed it well: “We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started ... and know the place for the first time.”
At the age of 55, I am a Franciscan priest, the pastor of a wonderful Catholic community, the father of a loving 32-year-old son, and the grandfather of a beautiful 5-year-old granddaughter. I am also a fellow pilgrim on the journey with many others the Lord has brought my way. Together we explore our faith and help each other to embrace mystery and celebrate it. I may not completely understand this place, but I have returned, and now I know it! God is good!

The Rev. Paul Gabriel is pastor of Blessed Sacrament Church in Burlington and is one of four rotating columnists on the Times-News Religion page.