im trying to keep up with this thing. i still read all of your LJ's, but i havent had time to comment. i love all of you, though.

i hate tuesdays. they always go by slow in school and then i have five hours of dance and dont get to do anything for myself til like 10:00 at night. and i dont get to see dave til then or even talk to him because he's asleep before i get home from school. sigh.

tomorrow i have to go to court with kristy to fight her ticket, so i only have to go to two classes. thursday i have to meet with my counselor and my mommy about college. that should be relieving, considering right now ive barely done anything to prepare myself. i feel like i have, but really i havent. i have a few applications filled out, but i need to talk to my counselor about a lot of things before i can even decide if i should send them. and i should have done that a long time ago. oh well. its stressful and i was trying not to worry about it before.

dave just found out today he got accepted to central. he'll probably really want to go now, and i havent even sent in my application. im scared because i want to go to the same school as dave and kristy because i cant stand to be apart from either of them and i cant leave them behind, but the likelyhood of going to the same school as one of them, let alone both, are slim to none. and i have a hard time letting go. not saying im letting go or anything, im just worried about what i'll do if it comes down to that. i'll die. and i cant make up my mind for the life of me whether to stay home or go away. one day i feel like i HAVE to stay home so i can adjust for a year and save up and whatnot, and the next day i feel like i need to get out of my house as soon as possible. its going to be a hard decision and its making me emotional thinking about all the possible outcomes. im afraid dave and i will end up at completely different places, far away from eachother.. and i can barely handle going to different high schools right now. he has his heart set on central, and i dont know if i'll get in. if i do, i dont know if i'll go right away. and i can never tell what he's thinking. whenever we talk about it, he says he might go to CMU or he might go to a community college for a year & transfer. then the next day, he's completely set on going to CMU. then a few days later, he's all about schoolcraft. i just dont know. i know i shouldnt worry about other people and where they are going, but i have to. dont even tell me not to. because without kristy & dave, i'll be miserable and i dont even want to think about it.

but at least i can start sending in applications in two days.

now its time for dance for a long time when i just wanna go to sleep...