Battling with BPD, A toddler and life. Feel free to follow my not so private online journal !

How do I make things harder for myself and how can I change that?

If there was a qualification for making things harder for myself I would deffintly be top of the class.

I honestly think I make everything harder for than it needs to be for myself but I don’t realise I am doing it until someone points it out.

I honestly think changing it is going to be extremely difficult as a lot of it is caused by my BPD so it’s not like I can just change one thing and my life will be easier.

I feel like for things to change I would need a brain transplant.

The reason I make things harder for myself is because I can’t just do a job, I do a job like in the house and then I just look at the job I did no matter what It is and I just think why did I even bother it looks no different or I just feel like I mess up even the simplest of jobs.

I am so hard on myself and that dosen’t help because that makes me super critical so like I said above I don’t know how to change anything to make it better so I will just have to continue to live the way I do.

I have no idea if this makes any sense at all, I hope it does but if it doesn’t I really appolagise, my mind is a mess (as usual), I’m super stressed and concentrating is so difficult for me right now.