Typical Communication Patterns of Passive Aggressive People

Proper communication is a cornerstone of modern society. The ability to convey our thoughts, opinions and feelings are what separates us from the apes, however, one manner of communication can be rather destructive, that would be a usually non-verbal form of communication, that is called being Passive Aggressive.

People displaying this personality can be quite easy to spot and maybe even be dealt with before things get worse as we go through Typical Communication Patterns of Passive Aggressive People.

What is Being Passive-Aggressive?

Before we go over how a passive aggressive person communicates, let us quickly gloss over what Passive-Aggressive really is. It is an amalgamation of the Passive personality which hides its true feelings in an attempt to stop others from getting offended by their opinions. Passive are people who are usually nice and cheerful even when they are feeling otherwise to prevent other people from feeling the way they do. They look down on their own thoughts and too often put others on a pedestal despite being detrimental to themselves.

Active Personalities, on the other hand, are quite the opposite. They will defend their opinions at all costs despite being detrimental to others. They are very vocal hence will lash out whenever they get the chance. So a middle ground between those two would be Passive-Aggressive. That would be when a person hides his/her negative feelings about someone who angered him/her like a Passive person, yet instead of accepting those feelings and shoving them away thinking by saying "It doesn't matter," they wish to communicate those feelings to others like an Active person thinking - "I'll give them a piece of my mind!."

However, a Passive Aggressive person is usually unable to directly say that something is wrong and will use negative behavior instead to make that other person feel down or regret making them feel that way.

Typical Communication Patterns

1. Makes It Sound Like There's Nothing Wrong

Passive-Aggressive people will try to make it sound like there is no problem. They will deny their feelings to themselves as well as to others. Saying words like "I'm fine", "nothing's wrong" even when there is something wrong and they will secretly want the other person to know something is wrong.

3. Speaks with Sarcastic/Angry Tone

At times Passive-Aggressive people are less subtle towards the people they are upset with. An obvious communication pattern of Passive-Aggressive people is that they speak normal words like "OK" and "I'll do it". But their tone implies the way they are feeling. And again using this angry tone mixed with average words is simply a fall back to denying that there is a problem.

4. They Are Defensive

They are defensive as they assume the world is against them. They will feel threatened at everything someone says as they feel everyone else is also Passive-Aggressive and have some kind of hidden agenda hidden in their actions and words. Paranoia like this will make their passive aggressive behavior more toxic and deliberate.

5. Avoid Communication

Passive-Aggressive people will also tend to drop eye contact, be more sullen and at times ignore the person they are mad at completely. They will not reply at times, they will change the topic, they will attempt to veer away from the root cause at all costs.

When you think of Passive-Aggressive, what comes to mind would be silent treatment alongside rude and often deliberately sarcastic remarks. More subtle approaches exist as well such as adding hidden meanings to a phrase. There are many other ways Passive Aggressive people act in order to get their way but they often follow the same skeleton as the ones above. They are indirect ways of stating your anger or displeasure to someone. Often in a rude or destructive manner.