Monday, March 29, 2010

Oh...

...the places you'll go......the words you'll read...

The following story was written in the car, as a text message (10 to be exact), and saved as a draft. I'm a dedicated blogger...ahem.

While on our travels down to Cali we were in desperate need of a restroom so we stopped at the next Rest Area. We walked into what can only be referred to as anything other than a bathroom. Unbeknownst to me there was a naughty word of the female dog persuasion written across the restroom ghetto alley wall.

We'll use the word "twitch" in place of it for the rest of this story since that is what I did (along with simultaneously laughing and screaming inside my head).

My daughter, who was alternately gagging and "eww"ing over the deplorable conditions while I was trying NOT to gag as I "prepped" the area (wiped pee off the seat being careful to keep a thick layer of tissue between my hands and the damp and then lay a thick layer on the seat for her to sit on...oh the benefits to being a boy and having the world as your urinal. And yes, I'm OCD. And yes, this is a really loooong sentence.), discovered that while the world is a little boys urinals, a public restroom is a little girl's urban dictionary. Apparently. So, I'm "prepping" when I hear my darling daughter's little voice say "TWITCH!", enunciating e.a.c.h.l.e.t.t.e.r. like any good kindergartner who has just discovered the joy of reading will do. "I'm sorry? What?!", I say, obviously not using the shiniest marble in my noggin, since she then, of course, repeated it..."TWITCH! It says "twitch" right there on the wall!".

Good job reading, honey, but there are some words that should not be read out loud (or written on public walls...but that's someone else's parental speech to give.)