David Crisp is a British hospital chef. But not on the weekends! Oh no, on the weekends he's a treasure hunter. Which is how he found this pot of Roman coins. Oh man, I remember when I used to metal detect on the beach. One time I found two gold teeth. You should've seen the look on guy's face while I chiseled them out with my spade! It was like he had somebody standing on his chest beating him in the mouth with a shovel. (I was is the thing!)

Crisp was lolling with his detector in a field in southwestern England when he made the discovery, eventually unearthing some 50,000 silver and bronze coins dating from 253 to 293 AD. Over 700 of them bear the face of Marcus Aurelius Carausius, a Roman general who ruled Britain and was the first to make coins in the region.

Crisp, a self-described "metal detectorist," explained that he would have to share the coins' estimated $1 million value with the farmer who owns the land on which they were buried.

Sure you could share the wealth. Or you could, oh I don't know, KILL THE FARMER! Also, I know the article says the coins are Roman, but you know what? Romans don't keep their coins in pots, leprechauns do. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE LITTLE PEOPLE?!