11 May 2010

On November 23, 2010 Miley Cyrus will turn 18. She'll be a legal adult....and shit might hit the fan.

In the last year or so, it’s been hard not to notice Miley’s transformation- both physically and musically. With the announcement that Hannah Montana would soon be coming to an end, Miley immediately began focusing on an entirely different, non-Disney version of herself (which, at the end of the day, I think we can all appreciate). Her hair went four hundred shades of dark, she hired a new stylist (have to say, some of her red carpet looks are unbelievably put together) and she started releasing music that probably had Mom’s across the globe feeling a touch uneasy regarding the whereabouts of one Miss Hannah Montana.

Miley’s latest uproar? Her song and accompanying video ’Can’t Be Tamed’. First let me just say what an original concept this is...........

....sense the sarcasm. It's not even worth trying to pick apart this song - we’ve heard it in 452 different ways by 452 different pop tarts. However, for your viewing pleasure...

I don't blame you if you couldn't make it through the entire 3 min 49 secs....it's painful. The jist: a ‘creature’ formerly believed to be extinct is unveiled at the circus and wouldn’t you know it, it's none other than the offspring of Billy Ray Cyrus! But this isn't just any offspring - this one’s sitting in a bird's nest, clad in leather and bondage-like arm pieces. She sports Snooki-esque hair, 3lbs of black eyeliner and 5-foot spanning black wings. Yup...wings.

The best part, you ask??

"Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attentionLike I'm under inspection, I always get the 10'sCause I'm built like that"

As they say in the old country, bloody. ruddy. brilliant.

Sigh.....I just can’t buy into a sexed up version of Hannah Montana and I'm left wondering if the rest of the public can either. She obviously (and respectfully so) has the pipes to transition from teen star to adult singer..I'm not doubting that! But she will also always be Hannah Montana and it's for this reason that I've come to believe the teens who fall within the post-Disney age demographic may not be able to take her seriously. They were too old (and cool) for Hannah Montana and now too smart (and cool) to accept Miley for anything else.

I certainly don’t think it’s her intention to alienate her tween fans through this newfound sexiness (she's simply growing up and on her own journey of self discovery). But if I was the mother of a 13 year old, no, I probably wouldn’t be enthused that Miley's 'on stage' persona appears to be straying from what she once proudly emulated - wholesomeness? innocence? You choose. Plus - didn't she pole dance during a performance at the Teen Choice Awards whilst singing about partying in the USA. Partying? Aren't you, like, 12?

Now...here's where I'm going with this...Have we not already seen this exact same attempt at transitioning from teen star to adult singer and the subsequent fall out that came along with it? Does the name Britney Spears ring any bells?

It’s TEXTBOOK people. Let's consider the basics:

They're both from the South.They're proud Christian girls who have publicly talked about their beliefs.Both have announced plans to save sex for marriage (and we all know how that went for Britney.)Each were figuratively 'owned' by Disney (for different lengths of time) while underage.

And in Brit Brit’s case…Turns 18 and slowly but surely, falls completely off her rocker.

Miley’s career is mirroring that of Britney's early days to an uncanny degree right now! And while I will maintain that Britney lost her adored public image when JT released 'Cry Me a River' and the world found out she was a cheating be-atch, it's also probably safe to say that the ultra sexy image she embraced with the release of 'I'm a Slave' confirmed that Britney wanted us to change our view of who she was as a performer. So it's merely a coincidence that her life unravelled shortly thereafter????

I’d love to say that it seems Miley has a way better head on her shoulders but when Britney was 18, the world seemed like her oyster too. Hello?! She was dating Justin Timberlake and they wore matching denim ensembles. Life can't really get much better. No denim ensembles to report just yet but Mily is in her first serious (and public) relationship. You just wait...disaster will strike!

In all honesty, I have nothing against Miley. I don't actually want her to fall apart the way Britney did. And I do understand and appreciate how hard it must be to go from tween to teen to young adult in front of billions of people, but I'm just crossing my fingers and toes that Miley doesn’t go from THIS

To THIS:

The most important thing we can do to help? The un-tame-able 17yr old sings it best herself: ‘if you try and hold me back I might explode’ …Well little lady, best of fucking luck.