Advice From a Professional Drinker

I used to tell people back in the night club days that I was a professional drinker. Girls would look at me like I was crazy, telling me that it was just not possible. So, I’d ask them to define professional, which sadly most couldn’t do. One of the dictionary definitions of a professional is “following as a business an occupation ordinarily engaged in as a pastime.” Last I checked, most people drink for fun, I used to do it for money. 3-5 nights a week for 7 years I was out in the club scene, throwing back a couple drinks with customers whom were either attending my parties or whom I was trying to get to come to my parties. Part of making them feel comfortable was my having a drink with them. Say no more, i’m a registered expert.

Hangovers generally consist of a headache and a stomach ache. These are caused by two things, dehydration and stomach acid. Alcohol is pretty brutal on your body

So here are some tips to help you stay relatively hangover free:

Before you go out, pop an ibuprofen and an antacid

Don’t drink mixed drinks such as Long Islands. Bad liquor and Sugar is a BAD mix

Eat, but don’t eat too much

Drink 1/2 a glass of water for every ounce of alcohol

Drink at least one full glass of water before you sleep

Try not to wake up with a fat chick next to you – fastest way to an upset stomach.

Granted, if you decide to drink yourself to the brink of death and wind up with alcohol poisoning, all that might be left for you is a trip to the ER for a nice long IV…. Anyone know if I can buy IV’s on the open market, man, those feel good.