“So, what did I do to piss you off?”

“You come home and leave all your shit over every surface in the living room, so there is nowhere to sit. You stack stuff in the dishwasher awkwardly on top of each other so nothing gets washed. Leaving toilet rolls on the floor and malting hair everywhere. I mean everywhere, the living room, all over the shower, my room, in my food and even clinging to my clothes when I haven’t seen you in days!”

And then deep, awkward silence. And now I think about it, our flat has been suffering this crippling awkwardness a lot recently, probably due to the fact that we’re all at the business end of our collective studies. The stress and irritation levels are off the charts, and, well, this happened. I started coming to terms that I would have to start looking for a new place to live (bit gutting for me; view is pretty sweet, room is set up AND the apartment even comes with a juicer). Then, she started laughing and said, “Oh yeah true, I see that. To be honest, I expected a lot worse haha!”. I was in the clear! I started to take a sigh of relief and then she hit me with “Now we’ve got that out of the way – what do you like about me?”

Just so you know – if you’re ever asked this question, do not, under any circumstances, hesitate, and if you do – certainly do not laugh. I did both, and I can safely say it was the worst response ever.

If any of you have been in this situation and you hesitate like me, you have already lost. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was sleeping on the metaphorical ‘you effed up’ couch of friendship for at least a week or so.