But in reality, loads of us share the same sexual desires. We don’t realise this because we’re not openly talking about them.

One sexual desire, for many men, is for a finger to be inserted into the anus. It makes perfect sense, as the ‘male G spot’ is located in a male’s prostate, which is behind the anal wall. When the prostate is stimulated, it can give a man incredible amounts of pleasure.

But still, putting a finger into a man’s bum can seem taboo because people still believe that any form of anal play says something about your sexuality – despite it just being another way to explore your body and all of its pleasurable areas

Whether you’re experimenting on your own or with a partner, it’s always great to find out what you enjoy or don’t enjoy to heighten your own sexual experiences – but how can we do this when we’re scared of liking something that we feel ashamed of?

To open the conversation around anal play, we spoke to six different men to see what they thought of their own bum-fingering experiences, whether they think it’s something everyone should give a try or if it’s something they believe to be a ‘taboo’.

See below for their incredibly honest (and incredibly NSFW) answers.

Who are we talking to?

Tom, 21

James, 36

Josh, 21

Mark, 29

Henry, 19

Rheese, 21

1. Do you see your anus as being a sexual area? Or one you totally want leaving alone?

Tom: ‘I personally want mine left alone but I understand it can be a really sexual area for some guys.’

Mark: ‘It depends on the situation you’re in. I’m very open (so to speak) regarding sex, and I wouldn’t dismiss my arsehole being used in a sexual way at all…’

Henry: ‘Kind of sexual, I think men’s anuses are usually pretty grimmer than women’s though!’

Rheese: ‘I’m intrigued by the idea, never done anything about it though. Would like to see what the fuss is about, maybe when I’m intoxicated with my girlfriend sometime.’

Josh: ‘I was completely against anything going up my bum until not long after I got together with my current girlfriend. Long story short, we tried it but I get nothing from it.’

James: ‘Done right it can be very enjoyable. It can add pleasure and increase stimulation.’

‘Jam a thumb up my ass, will you love?’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

2. Have you ever fantasised about ‘butt stuff’ (having it touched, pleasured etc)?

Mark: ‘Not really… I’ve seen it in porn and carried on masturbating.. does that count?’

James: ‘I wouldn’t say it’s a fantasy as it’s something I have already experienced. Would I do it again? Yes. Is it something I crave? No.’

Henry: ‘Yes, definitely! Experimented a bit but not too much.’

3. Do you feel it’s something you’re more inclined to ask for or is it something you’d wait for your sexual partner to request?

James: ‘Knowing what your partner wants is very important… I would not say it’s a first time kind of thing to ask someone either unless you chatted about it beforehand.

‘I think most women would run a mile if you turned round early on and said “jam a thumb up my ass will you love?”. I think communication is key on this matter.’

Henry: ‘My sexual partners are really open people like myself so things have always gotten a little weirder than just “butt stuff”. I’d feel completely comfortable suggesting when I felt like it.’

Rheese: ‘Talked about it with my girlfriend, I think I would be more comfortable having it done after a few drinks.’

Tom: ‘I don’t think my partner would ever suggest it so it would only happen if I asked.’

Mark: ‘I feel it’s something that i would be more inclined to do if suggested. Maybe if myself and a partner needed to spice up our sex lives.’

‘She was giving me head and she gave the old rusty trombone.’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

4. Have you ever let someone put a finger in your bum? How did it happen?

Josh: ‘The first time me and my partner did it was when she was giving me head and she gave the old rusty trombone. I let her do it all the way through to see if it was any different but I can’t say it did much for me.’

Henry: ‘The person I see was already performing oral sex (possibly the best head I’ve ever had) and just naturally worked from my shaft and balls further and further down until she had her tongue in my ass. Then she came up a little and continued with her finger.’

Tom: ‘I have had someone put a finger up there but it was a bit of a shock as it wasn’t planned/discussed.’

Mark: ‘I have. Pretty certain they put their tongue there first and then it went to fingering with NO discussion at all.. I didn’t decline of course.’

James: ‘It’s happened a few times. None of it was planned. The first time was while a lady was preforming oral sex while I was sat on a couch.

‘She moved her hand under the balls and started to just play around the anus with her finger. It was a small shock at the time but I kinda thought “Ok this is not so bad”. She then slowly worked it inside little by little.

‘It was very enjoyable and added to the pleasure of the moment. On the opposite side of the scale I have had a sexual partner just stick it up with no warning. Yeah that’s not as fun and hurt. It was soon removed.’

5. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being most painful, how painful was it, and did you enjoy it?

Mark: ‘Around 8… depends how much you’re “up for it”… it’s like rushing a poo I guess; it’s way more enjoyable if you take your time.’

Henry: ‘2/10. Others have tried since with you know, no moisture, and that was sore! Definitely recommend. Loved it.’

James: ‘I have enjoyed both sides of the scale. It’s been a good 1 and a bad 10. Just like a woman you don’t just jam it in.’

Tom: ‘I’d say about a 6 purely because I wasn’t ready at all!’

Josh: ‘At first it’s pretty uncomfortable but not really painful, I’d give it a 2/10. And yeah [I enjoyed it] but probably only because I was getting head at the same time.’

‘We’ve got a G spot there for a reason.’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

6. Is it something you’d see as a ‘one-off’ or something you’d like to become a regular occurrence during foreplay?

Tom: ‘I’d say a one-off, but if it was really enjoyable then why not regular!’

Mark: ‘It’s not something i think about. But i’d probably allow it again.’

Josh: ‘Probably not going to do it much more but she’s gone and bought a dildo just for it. She’s really into pegging.’

James: ‘If you do it all the time it will lose its taboo and sometimes it’s nice to have one or two special treats now and then. Again I think it all comes down to your partner.

‘If you jump from sexual partner to sexual partner then it’s hard to build up a sexual relationship with that person and knowing what they really want and enjoy.’

Henry: ‘Like every now and then yeah go for it. Couldn’t see it becoming an every time thing for sure. Change it up, have fun.’

Rheese: ‘Something I can imagine becoming a not so regular occurrence but happening once in a blue moon.’

7. Would you ever admit to liking a finger in the bum?

Josh: ‘Yeah I don’t see why not. I mean, if I DID like it then I wouldn’t be ashamed to say it (given I wasn’t telling my parents or something).’

James: ‘Tough question… I think it all depends on who. A close friend who listens and is not judgmental, yeah, no issues… the lads down the pub, not so much.’

Henry: ‘I think a lot of people turn a little prude when it comes to talking about sex but I’m very honest – if someone asked I’d tell them! I’m just not particularly ashamed and my friends know I’ve done some disgusting things so a finger up my arse seems pretty weak in comparison.’

Rheese: ‘I talk about it openly with my ‘lad’ mates, we’ve got a G spot there for a reason so I may utilise it at some point is my reasoning.’

Tom: ‘I would admit to liking it, I couldn’t care less what people thought.’

Mark: ‘As I said, I’m very open. So I can’t say I don’t like it. Can be quite uncomfortable however.’

‘Sh*t is grim.’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

8. Why do you think people are ashamed of liking a finger up the bum? Do you think more people should give it a go?

Henry: ‘God knows, some people don’t even like foreplay, they can do one!

‘I think it’s just the whole thing about it being an arsehole. Sh*t is grim and I guess some people can’t even bear the possibility of maybe getting a little on them.

‘Not that I’m into poo, I’m definitely not, but obviously if you’re jamming things up there you’ve gotta be comfortable with a possible consequence.’

Tom: ‘I think there’s just a huge stigma of it being “gay” to have a finger up the bum. I’ve never really understood this, if it feels good it feels good. I definitely think more people should give it a go, myself included!’

Josh: ‘Maybe men think it’s because only gay guys like sticking stuff up their arse or maybe because it wasn’t exactly covered in sex ed so anyone who does it is abnormal or weird… Everyone should try it at least once for sure!’

James: ‘I think men see anything up the bum as “gay”.. we are willing to stick it up a woman’s butt but if they do it to us it’s a “gay” thing to enjoy.

‘It’s bravado and cutting off your nose to spite your face. I always say if it feels good do it! Worst case it’s not for you and you know for the future.’

Mark: ‘Because they’re insecure and not comfortable with themselves or they just like to keep their personal quirks to themselves. If you spoke about all of your fantasies and quirky secrets, then it would kind of contradict having them in the first place right?’

Rheese: ‘Lads are intrigued by the idea of anal stimulation but I think it’s circumstantial. I can tell most my friends that I want my girlfriend to do it to me at some point but my slightly more conservative friends? No chance!

‘They would frown on it and make it out to be “gay”, when in reality that isn’t the case.’