Family

Here’s the deal, Kid. I thought you’d be here by now but the truth is, you may never arrive at all. But I’m still your mama – fiercely, entirely and utterly yours. So I wanted to tell you a few things so you’d always know. Like how I want to love you so well and walk with you through all your failures. How I want to teach you everything I’ve learned while waiting for you and how I’m trying to be the best I can be for your sake. So this is for you, kid, love from your Mama.

Most tension and emotional escalation comes from a core human need – trying to get what we want, to get our needs or expectations met. The most dangerous phrase to hear at Christmas is “I was secretly hoping for.” An unvoiced hope is dangerous.

Christmas’ dirty secret is that there’s no such thing as a universally perfect Christmas. In fact, we rarely talk about the anger, tension, stress and emotional turmoil that so many go through in trying to meet a perfect myth. So, it’s December 28th. You have 360 days, give or take, to work on new strategies for a less angry, sad, lonely, bitter, stressful Christmas next year.

There’s a way of living which is earnest, good and generous. It’s wholehearted and passionate, a force of nature and I aspire to live in that way too, in the steps of my mother. These are just some of the lessons I’ve learned from her.

I’m not as good a daughter these days as I used to be. Still, I want people to know that when they see me at work or at life, my father and all I’ve learned from him is an integral part of me. It’s good to remember where I came from and to share what I’ve learned from him because I think they are good lessons for all of us.

As a youthworker, I’m in a position to see a pattern emerging over the last 15 years. It’s more prevalent now than it was when I started working with young people and their families and by my observation, it’s a bit of a Trojan horse. It’s the desire to be ‘cool’ in the eyes of their kids, the need to be cool in every part of a child’s life. It looks and sounds great, but can be the cause of more heartache and trouble than you intend.

Dear Heart, you are a brave little soul. You throw yourself into loving people with everything you have and wonder while leaving feels so much like being torn apart. But without this pain, you wouldn’t have the joy of coming home. You, Heart, are at home here with these people. Truthfully though, your next stop is home too, and the next. Enjoy the travelling. Tonight, you’ll land somewhere new and begin it all again.

The New Family Christmas Each year that passes our family christmas evolves a little more. Mum’s partner (whom I adore) has been part of Christmas for many years now, but in recent years his children have become more part of the celebrations as well. It’s a weird thing. It’s not…