Who has your vote? (Poll Closed)

12 Comments

Dr Taekwondo Byrd is the word - 8 months ago

This is a travesty

Trumpsinnermonologue - 8 months ago

YOU SHALL NOT PASS...into El Paso from Mexico.
My vote is for the good Doctor, but it will most likely be overridden by the Russians. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud? Do we have a huuuge wall to block that sound coming out of my mouth? No? Don’t worry. Gandalf will pay for it...

Jeff - 8 months ago

'Dalf! 'Dalf! 'Dalf! WOOOOO!!!!

KimW - 8 months ago

"Bird is code for a man’s penis."

Since WHEN, Dick?

Some Guy - 8 months ago

If this slim lead for Gandalf holds, then this will be the biggest travesty of the Sweet Sixteen. All because a bunch of weak nerds see the name "Taekwando" and immediately think of all the times they've been roundhouse kicked into a dumpster. Between the Gandalf supporters and Mark Zuckerberg, goddamn nerds are really ruining it for the rest of us lately.

Lance Jr. - 8 months ago

Gandalf Hernandez is also really fun to say. Rolls right off the tongue.

Jeff - 8 months ago

Agree with Rich and Dan wholeheartedly! For me, there's just something better about the pairing of an out-of-the-ordinary name with a common name. Gandalf (the wizard) Hernandez (the guy who sat behind you in Math class). Plus this works as an actual name where you might raise an eyebrow but you don't automatically assume that the guy's parents were raving sociopaths.

Dick Johnson - 8 months ago

Bird is code for a man’s penis. Come on!
Dr. Taekwondo Byrd...
Take you to the garage & do some karate.
Chop it, chop it, chop it, chop it sipping sake
Throw a thick bitch on a Kawasaki.

Jerkalf - 8 months ago

We get it. You like LOTR, but Hernandez is a common name, and it definitely is not Dr. Taekwondo Byrd.

Dan Herman - 8 months ago

I gotta go for Gandalf. Because you know those parents (let's be honest - Dad) just loved Tolkien. He knew the kid would probably get picked on, but not too bad, and hey, it's a helluva lot better than Frodo.

But Taekwando Byrd's parents did that shit on purpose. Taekwando is not a name. Gandalf is at least a fake name. Taekwando didn't MEAN anything. One or both of them might have a black belt, but they didn't make it *personal.* They just went for bland. Gandalf's name isn't Ring, it's fucking Gandalf.

Gandalf stands for something. Taekwando is a placeholder. And he deserves to advance no further.

Jsshd - 8 months ago

Ya but the other guy is a bird

Rich - 8 months ago

In my mind I know gandalf hernandez has a one-note name, that in all logic shouldn't have gotten this far. But I think it is beyond logic, in my heart I know that gandalf hernandez is pure poetry. In my head I imagine a true leader, a pillar of the community, and all round Nice person. God bless you gandalf hernandez, you magnificent beast.