THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

HOUSE PAINTING

HOUSE PAINTING

In a recent
post, I alluded to a short stint as a part time professional house
painter.Most people think house
painting is easy.Most people will
attempt to save some dough and become DIY painters.They can do an OK job, but the professionals
will do it better.

I was never
good at house painting.House painting
takes patience; I always want to get right to it…no reason to waste time with
prep work, expensive materials or appropriate tools.WRONG!!

Prep work is essential –

PREPARE THE SURACE- It is a waste of time to paint
overwalls that are dirty, have flaking
old paint and have cracks and holes.Clean, sand and patch, or don’t bother painting.

TAPE EDGES: Unless you are a real pro, you have
to tape off those edges…not me.I keep a
rag handy and just wipe down my misses (no, not my Mrs.).This leaves paint on the rag which when
hanging from my pocket hits against walls and occasionally un-covered furniture
(see below) and makes a mess.When I
wipe my brow I get paint on my face, and before long the paint in the rag makes
wiping errors away fruitless.

REMOVE OR COVER EVERYTHING: Amateurs using a roller create a
rooster tail effect of flying paint. Newspapers are not good enough.Paint goes on newspaper, foot goes on paper,
paper rips and follows you around the house leaving a trail of paint.

Use quality materials-

PAINT: You think you save money using
inexpensive paint, but the extra time and extra coats needed to cover will
prove you wrong.

PAINT BRUSH: Why pay for an expensive brush for
one job?No streaking, no brush hairs on
the wall, less dripping, and with correct care and maintenance the brush will
be good for many, many jobs.You also
need multiple brushes, tapered for cutting in, two inch for molding and small
areas and four inch for walls if you are not rolling.

LADDERS: Oh for God sake, do not reach on a
ladder that is too short or even worse balance on a chair.

PAINT BUCKET- Do not paint out of the can, use a
tapered paint bucket.A paint bucket
does not collect drips on the side.Drips on the side will find their way anyplace but where you want
them.A tapered bucket also allows you
to better slap excessive paint from your brush.Excessive paint on the brush works its way to the top of the brush and
squeezes out dripping the floor, your hand and everything.

BE AWARE-

KNOW WHERE THE PAINT CAN AND LID ARE
AT ALL TIMES: If you
do not follow this rule, you will
step on the lid and track paint throughout the house, and you will trip over
the can and spill mass quantities of paint all over.

USE PROPER TEQUNIQUE-

PROPER BRUSH STROKES: Use long strokes in only one back and forth direction
and always keep the brush or roller loaded with paint, beyond that, I’ve got
nothing.

The final hint took me several years
to learn, but it might be the best advice.

HIRE A PRO: Everyone thinks they can paint, few
really can.If you can afford it, hire a
pro.Do not hire kids or part
timers.Hire someone that has been
painting full time and makes a living out of it.

Is there anyone on the Earth covered
by Benjamin Moore that does not have at least one story about a paint job gone
bad?

I'm guilty of almost everything bad on your list. I paint over dirt, flaking paint, spiders and even snails once in the garden (although I did clean them off with the hosepipe and a toothbrush ...). I just get a bit over excited and want to get on with it. I used some very old paint when I decorated my kitchen. I thought I'd be able to brush the lumps out of it - I was wrong ...

This is why, when i do paint, i go very slowly, so i will do it correctly. It's better to go slowly than to have to go over it again and again is what they told me when i was volunteering at the Habitat house.

My husband and I do all our painting, but we've been at it since 1990 and have painted every room in each house at least once, so I think of us as professionals now. I agree with all your tips, but I've found a good wooden chair to be sturdier and easier to balance on than a ladder.

I absolutely hate painting. In the five years we've been in our house we've only painted the living room and hallway. Fortunately my best friend loves painting and is good at it, so she did most of it. That's why it looks good! :-) All I really had to do was make her lasagna.

I taught my husband to tape, with masking tape, the only tool available in the sixties. We did not get back to the peeling off part for a week or so, and the tape baked on. Then it had to be removed with a razor blade.

My old father in law was a master painter and passed a few tips to his sons, so my hubby and oldest daughter were able to paint the interiors of our house after it was built. They did a great job. When FIL was alive he had a business and was very much in demand, one of his grandsons learned from him and I think took over the business.

P.S. where I live now has a bad paint job. Looks okay at first, because the colour is the same as what was there before, but then you start to notice missed patches, and the fact the paint was slapped on without first cleaning or repairing.

I painted my 10-speed bicycle white with red stripes, to look like a candy cane. Except that paint my dad got me wasn't true red, but more orangey. Still, I had no trouble finding my bike in the rack at college. I rode it two miles to school every day, and locked it up tight. Because everybody wanted an orange candy-cane 10-speed.

I finished painting the ceiling in the kitchen and it looked great until Mother filled a syringe with pink medicine and accidently pushed the plunger. The pink stripe on the ceiling didn't look too bad until she tried to clean it off with her mop.

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
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