Did Hitler flee bunker with Eva to Argentina, have two daughters and live to 73?

Of course not. That's ridiculous. He fled to Kenya where he sired a son in a haze of farts and bongo drums, who would one day destroy the United States by offering people reasonably priced health care insurance. Study it out, biatches.

"Hitler regarded the array of vacuum tubes, wires and light bulbs skeptically. His ambitions of creating a vast International Network ("inter-net", Eva playfully called it) uniting the clandestine, four-story tall computational devices von Braun had built between 1947 and 1951 through Europe, Asia and the United States seemed like a distant and fantastical dream. But from the ashes of the Third Reich, a new dynasty would emerge -- one taking advantage of wireless technology to reunite the far-flung, tattered vestiges of his dark forces. "It will NOT be used for pornography!" the Fuhrer shrieked at no one inside the cramped Buenos Aires studio apartment he shared with Eva and their two children, Hermanna and Churchill Poo Poo Head. "There will be NO BRONIES!!!" Little could Hitler have known then that it would take over three more decades and an American Vice President to realize his fevered dream of an Inter-Net Uber Alles.

-- excerpted from "Made-up Hitler Bullshiat: The True Story", with a foreword on its authenticity from Wolf Blitzer, CNN host and Jeopardy! Grand Champion.

dittybopper:syberpud: nekom: Ok, that's an interesting theory you have there. Your evidence in support of it is.... what exactly?

They saw it in a move: "The Boys from Brazil".

/yes, not the same story, but similar.

I believe the original "Hitler escaped to Argentina" theories revolve around two U-boats that sailed to Argentina rather than surrender to the Allies.

The first was a Type IXC/40 boat, the U-530. The second was a Type VIIC boat, the U-977.

Neither would have been ideal, as both were commanded by relatively "green" commanders, and in fact the U-977 was a *SMALL* submarine even by WWII standards. The U-530 was a bit larger, but Hitler could have had either a Type IXD2 with the higher speed and longer range than the Type IXC (and of course, the Type VIIC), or he could have opted for one of the new Type XXI "electro-boots" that were just coming into service, and both the IXD2's and the XXI's were commanded by more experienced and senior commanders.

I should hasten to point out that Hitler died in Berlin. Irving Berlin. Heart attack from rough sex.

karnal:LoneWolf343: The Russians have Hilter's skull in an archive somewhere. He died in that bunker.

If you had read the article you would have known that they tested the skull and it came back as belonging to a 40 year old woman, so unless Hilter was a 40 year old woman.....

So the skull was Eva's?

Also, I wonder if there are people who think Hitler is STILL alive. Because if he is, he's 124 years old.

That said, yes, we landed on the moon, Kennedy was killed by Oswald, who acted alone because he was a nutjob who though the Russians would love him for it, Obama was born in Hawaii and was legally elected president, twice, 9/11 was not an inside job, and a "cure for cancer" has not been found. And yes, Hitler committed suicide in that bunker in 1945.

Time to get out the old Hitler/Stalin slash fiction and head out to amazon.com

/I'll add some horny dinosaurs to make sure it sells.

Adolf savored the feel of Joseph's full, manly mustache on his gently parted lips, welcoming the burly Russian bear into his arms as the haze of crematorium smoke wafted around his porcelain Aryan flesh.