"White Room"

"Gas Station Bathroom"

The Lyrics

Ever been on the road and had to use the bathroom at a Gas Station?

In the restroom when I stopped at a gas station Filthy toilets, no sh*t paper, used my crossword Whole place smelled bad, saw smeared feces, on the sink top The clerk smiled, then spoke gibberish at my complaint

I'll crap in this place 'cause I don't have much choice I'll hold my nose and pretend that I'm somewhere else

Saw some strange guy with a nose ring at that station Was approached by homeless vagrant, "Wash your windows?" I said "No thanks, I'm just here to use the bathroom" "You'll be sorry" said the vagrant; then he farted

I gasped and went "phew" as that fart wafted by Tried not to puke as that vagrant crapped on himself

(Instrumental break)

This gas station for some reason draws a weird crowd Its location is near downtown and it's rotten Teen-age hoodlums, stoned-out bikers hang around there They stared at me through my windows; now I'm frightened

I'm leaving this place just as soon as I can I won't be back, freaks can have this place for themselves

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Pacing:

5.0

How Funny:

5.0

Overall Rating:

5.0

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4

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Jack W and Rick D - Thanks! Hey, Rick - I ran into most of these biology experiments on the road up North and back. In fact the worst was about 90 or 100 miles South of San Jose. I don't remember the town but I remember I had to go out to my car and get paper towels and kleenex before I could use the can. Had to wash the seat first and the kleenex was my T.P. But I will admit that L.A. certainly has more than it's share of disgusting Gas Station Bathrooms.

Kristof, Thanks...you know, I don't feel a day over 87, either. Johnny D - Thanks to you, too. Wouldn't have made 100 without you ( I can think of at least two that I never would have got posted, at least...heh).

Brilliant, just brilliant! I loved the description of the bathroom and laughed at the dirty humor you used in it. If Eric Clapton were reading this parody right now, he'd loathe it. 5's to you, Mr. Robinson.

Alvin - Thanks! Johnny D - Double Thanks!!!!! I'm pleased as punch that you would come over here and say that (FYI - Former Vice-President and one-time Senator Hubert Humphrey used to say that a lot and yes, people made fun of him over it).

Paul, I'm sitting at home and I just finished reading this parody again - and this time, I sang it out loud to the original song's music - and I freakin' laughed out loud! The pacing of this parody flows astonishingly smoothly in-synch with that of the original song, and your imagery flows right along with it. I say again, very, very well done.

Johnny D - Thanks! I was hoping that other people would enjoy it as much as I did. You know, except for some politically pointed pieces I almost never hold anything up once it's finished, but I held this one a day because I didn't know if many folks would be on site on the Holiday. I happened to show it to a few friends on Sunday and they ALl laughed out loud, including some who don't do a whole lot of laughing in the first place. Geez, even my older brother, Pete laughed out loud and he usually doesn't think anybody is funny except him. And I must admit, I've played & sang to the CD track a number of times since submitting it and I keep smiling and cracking up each time. I'll bet the neighbors downstairs are probably getting tired of it by now. You know, I saw a comment on your "Gangplank to Heaven" number today and revisited it. Arrhh! me timbers are all aquiver from the laughter...

Mari D - You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed it. Good thing I made some people laugh with this parody 'cause I sure pissed someone off with some comments I made earlier. Just made a lengthy reply explaining why I don't think I'm really the most heartless bastard in the world. I really don't think I'm even in the top 10, but I'm not sure the intended reader will be in any way mollified. Hey, I know...think I'll pop "White Room" on the CD and do a little sing-along with it. I don't think my downstairs neighbors have heard my version enough to fully appreciate it yet. I'll take care of that right away...

Johnny D - You don't NEED no stinking key for these places. When the inside is totally and entirely gross and disgusting there's a good chance that none of the locks work and that the door to the toilet stall either won't close or is just plain completely missing. I mean, what good would it be to have someone forced by circumstances to take a dump in the most disgusting bathroom in America if they wouldn't also be subjected to the additional humiliation of the possibility of someone walking in on them while they were trying to do it. Thanks Mer & Jack, too.

Spaff - Thanks! The "vagrant" verse was also my personal favorite. Initially I didn't have him crapping on himself in the chorus. I think I had him Peeing on himself...the change was an improvement, for sure. Thanks again, JD!

(late abc's comment) Now ain't this some $h!t. I should have mentioned earlier that if we were allowed three choices instead of one for abc, you'd definitely have been on mine. While I shy away from toilet humor for several reasons, the great pacing and, if you'll pardon me, 'flow' of this parody are undeniable. Great work, Paul.

2nz - Thanks aplenty! I've got some catching up to do on some earlier (ABC) rounds and I apologize for letting that happen. I'm probably disqualified for a while and that's OK. But I will catch up on those parodies fairly soon anyway, since those folks took the time to look at mine.

Dear God that was Funny! Your lyrics and descriptions were so true , and graphically hilarious! This one might be the funniest parody i've read on this site! The part about the vagrants fart wafting by...( He he Ha Ha ) O man , that was good.