Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sarah Palin Song Competition Daily Briefing: Day 1

Wed, Oct 1, 2008 at 10:38 AM

For those who don't already know, we've made an open call to songwriters in any genre to submit songs and/or music videos inspired by Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. (Send them to music@eastbayexpress.com by October 23rd; while the lyrics must be original, the music doesn't have to be.) Here's what's come in so far:

From Jim Terr in New Mexico:

and

From Jon in Berkeley:

From Este Cantor:

To the Tune of Pallidan
Have gun will travel reads the card of a girl
Her right-to-life antics has the world in a whirl
She shoots wolves from airplanes and she
Field dresses moose
She just had a baby so her clothing's real loose

Palen, Palen, where do you roam?
Washington aint Wasilla it's far far from home

She loves the bridge to nowhere but she then says no
But after congress ditches it, no, not befo
She pressures the firing of her sister's ex
Her daughter don't use birth control
But she sure has sex

Palen, Palen where do you roam?
You seem so darn eager that your mouth starts to foam

What is the Bush Doctrine, what does a VP do?
There's so much that she doesn't know
She don't have a clue
But she's so cute and sparkely and she speaks so clear
And just like her old champion
She always says "nucular"

Palen, Palen, Where do you roam?
Let's drill the ANWAR pristine land
There's more where that came from

A heart-beat from the presidency is where she'll be
She don't need no experience she's worry-free
She sees Russia from her backyard
So she's aware
Of all the issues she will need and we'll be
Real scared

Palen, Palen, Where do you roam?
From David Comden:

She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do- oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy
Working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun

Happiness is a warm gun
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, momma
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
When I hold you in my arms
(Ooooooooohhh, oh yeah!)
And when I feel my finger on your trigger
I know nobody can do me no harm
Because happiness is a warm gun, momma
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
-Yes it is, it's a warm gun!
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm, yes it is...
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Well don't ya know that happiness is a warm gun, momma?