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Tiger Mauling Threat Looms Over U.S. Holidays

This morning, CBS News is reporting as one of its top headlines, Terror Threat Looms Over U.S. Holidays.

What happened while you were sleeping? Was a terrorist plot to attack people across the United States uncovered?

Well, no.

What happened was that CBS News Homeland Security correspondent Bob Orr was looking for something to write about, and so he talked to some “terrorism experts”, people who make their living by encouraging people to expect a terrorist attack at any time. The terrorism experts, in turn, told Orr that government officials are “openly nervous” that terrorists might attack… so they’re ordering special new screening procedures at all airports, targeting every thermos for special inspection.

“The possible tactics terrorists might use include the concealment of explosives inside beverage containers,”The Transportation Security Administration warns. “The holiday’s [sic] are often considered by Terrorism experts to be a key time for terrorists to attempt an attack on the United States,” writes Bob Orr.

Have terrorists actually killed anyone in the United States during any winter holiday in the last generation? No.

Have terrorists actually used thermoses to attack the United States? No.

Yet, Orr writes of a “growing threat of domestic terror”. By what measure is domestic terror a growing threat? By the measure of how much our constitutional rights, such as the protection from unreasonable search and seizure, are undermined by fear (terror) run rampant.

In related news, CBS News circus animal expert Rob Bohr writes that a tiger mauling threat looms over the holidays. Circus experts are openly nervous that a tiger could break free of its trainer’s control, and engage in a savage attack.

It’s happened before… How can anyone enjoy Yule while worrying about the tigers?

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About the authorJim Cook

I haven't been everywhere, but I've lived lots of places in the USA: the North, the South, the East, the West, and places in between. Every place I've been, I've seen acts large and small of kindness, callousness and disregard. Here we are. What will we do?

One thought on“Tiger Mauling Threat Looms Over U.S. Holidays”

It’s gettin’ pretty old, isn’t it? While the real threat is ignored and all the warning signs, in plain sight, are invisible to them. The damage mounts each day, the deterioration of our infrastructure is too expensive to fix now, we have no leadership and we’re literally sinking (rising oceans are a fact). But let’s just make shit up to be afraid of – some some jerks can make money.

Hey, Merry Xmas, happy solstice, freulicha gesundheit!

i had a brilliant idea this morning – we start a company making CARBON CIGARETTES AND SELL THEM TO THE SMOKERS! Then, see, when they die, right?, we sink the carbon with their burial! (wouldn’t work too well with incineration, i expect). My wife asked me what i was smoking after that one.

It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection. These are the times when maps fade, old landmarks crumble and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread. Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.