My Blog...

A little girl was sitting, looking at two shiny apples she was holding in her hands.Her mother came by, noticed and softly asked her daughter with a smile.."Sweetie, could you give your mom one of your apples?"

The little girl looked up at her mom for a moment, then suddenly took a quick bite on oneof the apples, and then on the other. The mother felt the smile on her face freezeand she tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.

As she stood debating internally what to say next,the little girl handed one of the bitten apples to her mom, and said,"Mommy, here you are - This is the sweeter one."​

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​​No matter who you are, how experienced you are,and how knowledgeable you think you are,always delay judgment.

Give others the privilege to explain themselves.What you see may not be the reality.Never conclude for others.

This is your 1st NLP Lesson -

The Map is not the territory ... it makes for a much happier life! Danielle ;-)

Footsteps in Rome on a special holiday...Loved ones gathered together - enjoying and savouring in the moment.Tasting stories from the past and languishing in bitter sweet photos and memories.Reminded once more of lessons past forgotten.

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When I returned from my weekend in Rome I felt a little sad to have said goodbye to my family.I had really stayed present in the moment until the time of return.That is when my 'forward planning' kicked in.

What I mean is.... "Disappointment takes adequate planning."

I had instilled a wonderful pattern - every time I would leave Rome,I would feel suitably nostalgic and sad.My ritual would start to kick in on the way to the airport and continue for a few days after home.

Now.. of course it is normal to miss the people you love when you're not with them... but what I noticed was how EASY it was to trigger emotions from the past in a certain circumstance, environment or series of events.

This is what is called in NLP an ANCHOR.We have so many of them. Some we are conscious of and many we are not.

Have you ever suddenly felt bad for no apparent reason?This is very likely because an unconscious Anchor was triggered.It could have been a smell, taste, situation, environment, look, sound, word, etc etc...

What is really great to know is that once we are aware of how they workwe can change them and also use them to our benefit.

I have decided to change my 'Airport' trigger to one of excitement at what is about to come next.

You see when we remember that EVERYDAY is the MOST SPECIAL of occasions,we can then PLAN to get excited instead.

I trust you are excited by this concept and planning to take action on it.

The sound of my runners crunching on the road was in sync with my breathing and the words that I kept repeating in my head. .....

An hour earlier I was feeling a little unmotivated, but had just seen a post from one of my students, which rekindled my desire to get out and moving.I put my runners on and set out on my little 7km 'joggle' - a kinda wiggle-woggle of a run!

A few minutes in and that internal voice kicked in. Yup.. I still have one - loud and clear ;-)

The difference is that now I pay attention to it.

A few days previously I had finished 3 days of speaking and meeting some wonderful folkat The Wellbeing Festival, about this very subject - 'Our Internal Voice' -so I was primed and ready to hear what it had to say to me.

I listened carefully.

" Danielle, you're tired! You've worked hard this week. Take it easy!"" This is just too much like hard work ... maybe I should just walk."" The more I continue the harder it's going to get!"" Oh god...I just cant do this.."

Ahem ...sound familiar at all?

Well anyhow..I decided to take action (as I do now) and shut it up! So I said to myself firmly in my head ..."Come on Danielle, you can do this!"It helped somewhat, so I continued. But I noticed something very interesting.Something I had noticed a long time ago.

Something that had previously in fact ... saved my life.

Eight years ago I was suicidal.It was the lowest, most scary and loneliest time in my life.I felt so afraid and overwhelmed by my pain (my negative feelings).I know now that I am keenly motivated to move away from pain as fast as I can.(Knowing what motivates you is very beneficial by the way).

The first step was realising that if I wasn't creating a story with a result in my head,then I couldn't really 'feel' anything. What I mean is, if I wasn't focusing on the past or the future, and either making up a good or bad ending then I wouldn't feel good or bad.

Now that may seem simple but for me at the time it was life-changing.It was exactly what I needed back then. I just needed that first step.

Now I am a Mind Coach, so of course I believe in having goals and focusing on results. This is what I do best with the people I work with!But sometimes, when you're overwhelmed and in pain, you simply want to free your mind.It's vital to know what is needed and when it is needed. Timing is key.This is what focusing on the NOW does.

For some reason as I joggled along repeating "Danielle, you can do this", I started to notice it felt like pressure. I was in too much discomfort (ie; pain) to feel really motivated. I felt stressed by it. Like I had to achieve.

I changed my internal Mantra to ..." I am here right NOW."Yes, I know this may sound weird and not very motivational but it ... worked.

Suddenly, I felt more present. I felt grounded in the instant. In that exact moment.Repeating this inside my head over and over kept bringing me back to right now.Right NOW - and in so doing I couldn't focus on the discomfort -because we simply cannot do both simultaneously.

I focused on the instant and before I had time to wonder would I make it home ...I was shuffling into my garden again and it felt good!

This is the power of your inner dialogue. Use it wisely.

The first step is to simply notice it.Then decided is it useful to you and how does it cause you to feel.If it doesn't serve you ..then change it...