Will I ever find a BF?

For the past several months, I have been wanting to find a BF, but I've had no luck whatsoever! The only place I've been searching is the gay bar in Elk Grove, Illinois, because I don't know where else the hell to go. Does nobody want me?

I've been to Hunters...not the place to go. There are soooooo many places here in Illinois/Chicago to find someone. Do things you love to do and you'll meet someone. The gym, go back to school, anything but the bars......How can you possible think you can meet someone in a bar or club when it is so fucking loud you can't even hear yourself think let alone start a conversation.Don't expect too much. Just go and have a good time.

Yup, you will likely find a BF. You're only 21 and have so much to look forward to!

The only thing I would recommend is doing whatever possible to lose weight and get into shape. As much as we'd like to believe someone will love of us for what's on the inside, guys are visual and you're more likely to get approached if they like what's on the outside too.

Hey man, you are only 21 years old and you virtually have your entire life ahead of you. Don't worry about having a boyfriend yet that will come with time. It will also enable you to separate the good quality guys that you want in your life from the creeps, liars, and users that are just looking for a one night stand in bed. As for going to bars, WRONG ANSWER! You will never meet a quality man in a bar because it is just not the suitable environment to do so. You live near Chicago which is one of the greatest cities in the world so there is no excuse why you cannot meet quality guys in other types of venues besides clubs. Get out of the suburb that you live in and venture either into the city or into other suburbs.

Do you sing? Try Chicago Gay Men's Chorus to meet great guys. Want to get in shape. The gay running club jobs along the lake all year as far as I remember. volunteer at the Center on Halsted or another charity. join the Chicago Gay Professionals Network. Any of these will bring you into contact with many, many gay men. The rest is waiting for lightning to strike.

drypin saidDo you sing? Try Chicago Gay Men's Chorus to meet great guys. Want to get in shape. The gay running club jobs along the lake all year as far as I remember. volunteer at the Center on Halsted or another charity. join the Chicago Gay Professionals Network. Any of these will bring you into contact with many, many gay men. The rest is waiting for lightning to strike.

Great ideas, and the lightning strike reference is brilliant - loved it!

Definitely agree with what everyone's saying here...desperation is often a HUGE turn-off, as is the need to feel completed/validated by someone else. You're young...rock out being you and doing the things that make you feel great. As soon as you stop giving a poop, you'll probably meet someone great - just one of life's great ironies.

Oh, and the bar scene? Skip it, unless you're only there for loud music and overpriced drinks.

And now for something completely different...... Reality! It's ok to want a BF and to have that as part of your life goals. There have been a lot of good suggestions on how to go about finding a boyfriend, and most suggest living a full and happy life and it may happen.

But it might not. That should be ok too.

As far the as the bar scene is for finding a boyfried: I met my first BF at a gay bar. The last guy that I was in an LTR with I met at a gay bar. It can happen anywhere. The other BF's were fellow college students, a friend of a friend, or someone I met from online.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

So knock it off!

Wow I was waiting for a blunt response like this one... soo harsh to hear but sooo true...

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

So knock it off!

Mmmmm..... quivering bags of insecurity

Damn do I love the word "quiver." It's just one of those words that is never used enough. I forgot the subject of the thread, sorry...

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

So knock it off!

Mmmmm..... quivering bags of insecurity

Damn do I love the word "quiver." It's just one of those words that is never used enough. I forgot the subject of the thread, sorry...

And what about "squirming"? As in, "Quit squirming. You can't escape.". A very useful word.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.

No one is going to want you if you mope around with that attitude. Ya, six pack abs are nice, but confidence is infinitely more erotic. The Elephant Man could get tail with the right attitude so you should stop feeling bad for yourself, put yourself out there and fucking smile.

Remember, when you go into a bar, everyone is a quivering bag of insecurity just like you. By putting on a brave face you transcend all that bull shit and become attractive.