As we approach the celebration of Jesus’ birth and the end of this year, my heart always processes the struggle of really taking it all in. Even in a slower paced 3rd world country, one can so easily get swept up in the activity of life and its urgencies. My heart’s cry is always the same, “I don’t want to miss You!”

As Christmas draws nearer and nearer…I hear The Lord releasing a call to let love invade…To give love permission to invade in every area.To quite simply…Make space to embrace love.

Wasn’t this the main problem during the first Christmas??? There just simply wasn’t room in the midst of all the chaos for Love to be birthed?

Our family continues to learn each day. We continue to be stretched as we constantly recognize in this life we control very little. But of this I am certain…We are empowered to control the degree in which we love.

The questions I hear Him whispering over and over again as we journey… How profoundly am I willing to be loved…

How vulnerable am I willing to be in order to be fiercely loved?

Love is risky business…But it should be our first focus and greatest occupation, if we are to minister as Jesus did.

In saying this…We cannot begin to express how thankful we are for the love and support you continue to show us. It is because of you, we can rest and remember that God sees us. When we feel alone and even lost at times…God so often uses one of you to share a timely word, a prayer…And our favorite… Sending some of you to come and serve alongside.

You continue to teach us more and more about love as you reproduce His love to us.

The end of another season is upon us, and I see life moving at a most incomprehensible pace. I pause and recount in awe and gratitude the love that is poured into us…As we see scripture unfolding to us through you.

His faithfulness…

It’s Christ in you…

His love, His HOPE of GLORY that humbles us day in and day out.

My forever prayer is our family will reflect the same extravagance to our beloved ones here.

That we too are offering them a new level of faith, hope and expectation.

The invitation I receive I share with you… Will you make room for love this Christmas season? Will you make room in the “inns” of your heart to let love invade? In vulnerability, will you receive? Will you freely give of your heart especially when all feels risky?

This is the miracle of Christmas…Our Almighty God, Love in the flesh, chose to need love. He humbled Himself in the most risky form and relied on the love and care of a young teenage woman. Our 100% God chose to be 100% needy. He chose to allow Himself to be deeply wounded for the sake of love.

May the Church be an exact duplicate of this love. Would we be willing to love in the wildest, craziest most ridiculous ways!

Would we carry His very heartbeat offering family connection.

Thank you for teaching us more about Jesus!

Thank you for believing in us when we forget to believe in ourselves

. Thank you for choosing nearness and for being a part of what God has invited us to do here in Cost Rica…To love with our lives.

May Jesus Himself reveal His love so intimately and personally to you.

You are His beloved!

Advent Blessings of risky love,The Backwards Missionaries!

]]>1779Updatehttp://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/update/
Tue, 10 Jul 2018 12:58:53 +0000http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/?p=1686Last week we were blessed to have an amazing group from Two Rivers Church Chattanooga.
They excel in love, and we among many were lavished beyond measure.

I was reminded once again of the incredible power of vulnerability, humility, love, friendship and kindness.

I literally watched hearts receive deep encouragement and freedom as one person simply offered the genuine, authentic, humble gift of their heart…

over and over again.

This team advanced the Kingdom in powerful ways…

We were blessed to be able to support local pastors (from 4 different churches) and local schools.

Personally, I’m not a fan of painting, but somehow when we’re doing it together with people that we love…

Well, it becomes fun!

My friends from Chattanooga, literally, used their vacation time from work (or time without pay) to come here.
They saved… they sacrificed… they shared…
So that they could offer hope and joy…

So that they could serve.

With the hope of simply offering acts of kindness…
The truth about the faithfulness of Jesus.

Friendship.

Encouragement.

Smiles and laughter.

Reminding us not to take ourselves too seriously.

Instead, choose to focus on what matters most.

My heart was blessed by the privilege to be able to serve “together.”
There’s power in “together,” but there’s also the gift of hearts being knit together.
I remain in awe of how beautiful and impacting it was to see a diverse group of people unite for a common cause…
But also… it’s just incredibly fun!!!

Our continued thanks to all who continue to support us…
You may not be able to come with a team… but you are making Kingdom advancements possible.

Look closely…
This first picture is of a man pulling his horses while driving his scooter.

I’ve wondered do these horses follow with such velocity that the man needs the scooter so he can lead them at the appropriate pace?

The next is a man pulling his crew…
There are about 7 of them.
However, he only puts a rope harness on two of them. He then pulls these two while riding his bicycle.I have wondered… does he gently guide the leaders because he knows that the others will follow those two leaders on their own initiative and volition? Or, does he tie up the two naughtiest ones because he knows that the good ones will will follow out of obedience and training?

I know that they’re not great, but it’s hard to take pictures while driving… even if I rarely go over 20mph in my town.

I share these pics and ask these questions because they’re about me. I’ve been examining my motives and heart. Which one of these horses best represents me? I think I can identify with each one of them… having to be pulled, following happily and freely.

As I’ve examined my motives, sometimes I’ve seen some pretty ugly things.
Always grateful that I’m still included and invited by the Good Shepherd.

This picture was taken of a house that is on my street. It’s probably 75 yards away.
It has been said that it is one of the most secure homes around. It has a huge concrete wall surrounding the perimeter, as well as video surveillance.
Even though, I know it’s still been burglarized.

I have asked since the fire…
“Have you heard anything else about this family?
What happened?
What are their needs?”
I am surprised that I have heard so little. It’s a small town, and people like to share these kinds of things.
The response was, “Well, because they have money, we don’t hear or know anything about it.”

The part that has struck me is the incredible damage caused by the fire. In dry season here we do not see rain for many, many months. Within what seemed like moments, everything that they owned was consumed by flames. This hit me so hard because it reminded me of the fragility and fleeting nature of life.
It’s short!
We only get ONE this side of heaven.
It doesn’t last long.
The fire didn’t instill fear within me.
Rather, it inspired more courage to… Go for it!
Courageously pursue dreams!
Life’s too short! As my wife used to say to me as I would walk out the door to evening church meetings…
“Make it count!”

I feel like the Lord is saying, “Make it count!
Life’s too short.
Don’t play it too safe.

Don’t be afraid of the risk.
It takes a risk to get a risk’s reward.”

These images are of my son’s recent science experiment.

The first two are from the practice round…

This last one is the real thing.

He did the Mentos Diet Coke explosion as his experiment.
It’s where you combine these two items, the reaction is a true volcanic explosion.
It’s remarkable.
When you combine these two ordinary things, the reaction is explosive in power (literally).

This image illustrates something else the Lord has been teaching me. My wife introduced me to Dr. Carolyn Leaf’s teachings. She shows how our thoughts (which we can control) physiologically and neurologically impact our health in MAJOR ways!!! Seriously… the simple nature of our thoughts impacts our spiritual health, emotional health, mental health and even physical health. The science proves it! Thinking positive thoughts causes a reaction in our brains that is explosive in the benefits that it brings!

Just realized that there wasn’t much (if any) ministry updates in this blog post. I’ll just say that we have remained quite occupied with all the opportunities that the Lord has given us. However, my favorite have been times that Kelly and I have gone out with the purpose to simply do acts of kindness. This could be anything from delivering groceries, clothing… or even just giving pastries to strangers… why?
Because kindness is so powerful (much like our thinking!).

Much love and blessings to you from the Backwards Missionaries.

]]>1642open-handed…http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/open-handed/
Tue, 06 Mar 2018 12:42:55 +0000http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/?p=1581Living open-handed…This is what The Lord has been speaking to me lately. Daily I find myself living the lifelong process of growing out of flesh… And pressing in towards the spirit. The selfish tendencies in me appear to run deep.
A counselor by mind…
I’m found processing the roots of my many issues…
Most of which can be linked back to a lie I have embraced somewhere along the way.

Two simple questions reveal almost everything about the faith I claim to stand upon…Do I really believe He loves me perfectly?Do I trust Him wildly with each step of the journey?
Anyone could look back over my story and see His hand of faithfulness.

But for me… deep ache always accompanies such recounting.

The last few weeks I have been weepily looking back through old photos… Photos that feel like they are of a different woman in a different lifetime.

I deeply cherish ALL that has been given and all that I have been blessed with. But truth be told… the earnest reflection makes my soul ache. It feels as if life is slipping through my hands like grains of sand.I hear the taunting lies of the enemy… “The best has already passed you by… one only gets so many blessings.

“Seeing with Kingdom eyes affords a different view…Each and every sacred memory can also serve as a testimony of the greater things that await…Of the beauty that lies ahead.

And His goodness should lead me to a cycle of greater expectation and gratitude.

Gratitude means choosing to recognize how deeply something matters.

To let our heart feel something deeply.

As I type this… (Sunday afternoon) In exactly one hour… my first born will have been born 16 years ago this very day.16 years of together testimonies.

I have spent the better part of the week soul crying. I feel the shifting.The shifting of what healthily must be… And I want to grip my hand shut.

I am far from the best mom… honestly far! And yet… I have been blessed with some of the most remarkable child-friends a mother could dream of.Emmiline Amelia’s birth forever changed me. After suffering a great loss of our first baby… I couldn’t have wanted her more. Being her mom and the mother of my other smalls is truly my dream realized.Even in this very moment… I ache with thankfulness for such beautiful gifts that I too often take for granted.Stewarding children has humbled me like nothing else. But mostly… God uses it to gently remind me… No matter how much strength I have in my hands…It will never be enough to control, sustain or stop time.

He has made me to be open-handed. Open to… Receive… And open to release.It would feel so much easier to close my fist around that which I love. To hoard…
To attempt to control or internally shut down…
But I cannot.
This is a battle my spirit must win.

“Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.”Luke 17:33

I don’t want to spend my days fighting for that which I cannot keep.

My heart is pure in wanting things to stay the same… It’s the posture of my hands…That reveal moment by moment…The truth about what I believe regarding His love for me… And if I joyfully trust Him with my whole self.Those core questions affect everything in my life… Especially the remainder of my days as an open-hander.
Do I think that God WAS good to me… or do I believe He IS FOREVER increasingly good.
Does He fill my hands once or is He the God of the continual overflow?Could I dare to believe life only ever gets better?Open-handed…The only way to really live and love…Knowing that all is a gift…I am an owner of nothing… Simply stewarding all that He has given me to love.

Everything is for a season this side of Heaven.

I cannot change this fact.
But a closed fist woman is not who He created me to be… Instead I’ve been created to be fully loved with a capacity to fully trust. A daughter free to celebrate in every era…Open-handedly and mostly tear soaked.

I am still very much trying to find my way…

But I pray my fingers are found a little looser today than yesterday.

Wondering extra about Eden and Heaven…Where possibly, you never separate from those you adore.

Today if you find yourself tempted to keep a closed hand… Afraid to let go or fully feel… Maybe we could risk in the RELEASE together? I believe there is something powerful about living relationally open-handed.

Blessings of His supernatural fillings, Kelly from The Backwards Missionaries

]]>1581deep gratitude… forward progresshttp://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/deep-gratitude-forward-progress/
Mon, 22 Jan 2018 16:55:45 +0000http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/?p=1536In the last couple days I was looking over our website…
I came across the page that communicated our purpose and role.
It was extremely encouraging to see that we were staying the course.

Our cups are full… and we are so incredibly grateful for what God continues to do.

An incredible team of ladies from the Vineyard in Ohio just left a few days ago..
They were a sheer delight and a gift to all of us here in Samara.

Truly, they excelled at love.

Being together brought sweet refreshment.

Kelly and I continue to discuss our vision and future.
We are diligently trying to make sure that the lenses through which we see are the lenses of Christ’s love and desires.

It’s a constant re-calibration process.
But, I do believe we are seeing more clearly.

We continue to remain resourceful and creative as we learn, serve and direct what we can.
(This is me doing my version of “plumbing.”)

I am practically a plumber now!

We continue to have an extremely high value for family…
Remembering that shepherding their hearts must remain our highest priority.

Still pursuing people for the sake of sharing hope and love…
At times offering relief, other times development and rehabilitation and at other times…
Simply a hand to hold.

The amount of fruit that we see is abundant… both spiritual and physical!

Refining seems like a daily process these day…
It’s not a comfortable, but it sure is good.

We have so many plans for this year.

We were excited to host a training on how to minister to precious people with addiction.
Our dear friend, Kevin Hoffman, lead this workshop for us.

The training was followed by a precious time of ministry. Kevin is an incredible instrument of the Lord in fostering emotional healing… from hurts, habits and hang-ups…

Recently, we started hosting two recovery groups within our church.
God is opening new doors for deeper healing.

In December I offered a workshop on “How to Interpret the Bible.”
The hunger level was incredible…
I long to offer more of these in the next few months.

We were honored to get to serve with one of our most precious friends here, Lenina (the director of our children’s school).
It was an amazing event full of the love of Jesus, play and giving.
Students received not only food, but they also received much needed school supplies.

Serving is always so much more fun when doing it with people we love.
We are thankful for each and every friendship that God has blessed us with.

The Lord has opened more doors in local schools, and we have formed new ministry partners.
We have construction projects beginning in a few short months…
As well as hosting other teams.

We’re blown away…
When we feel incredibly uncertain and lean into the unsettled…
God supplies the faith we need…. often through hearts like yours…
He reminds us to KEEP walking forward and trust in HIS goodness and strength.
It is ALWAYS with deep gratitude that we write and share how God is working in our family and in our small town in Costa Rica.
The Lord is gracious, tender, patient and kind with us… always.

Much has happened over these last months and in the midst of it all we didn’t seem to have steam to write it all out. I think I speak for Adam and I both when I say we’ve been pressing on and feeling the weight of everyday living.

Having resided in our Costa Rican homeland for almost 2 1/2 years, I have come to realize it takes seasons to rebound from the shock of moving to a different world and learning new everything’s. The fatigue of such an experience has revealed certain ruts in my life and, ultimately, ruts in my heart. Thankfully, I am learning first hand that ruts do NOT disqualify us from Kingdom work.
They are simply part of the journey.

As I think about the ways I feel stuck and am tempted to rehearse inadequacies…
I remember others who were once stuck…
Friends like Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, Jonah, Elijah, David, and Job.
These… just a few stories of where God didn’t wait for His people to get out of their ruts in order to draw near.

This brings me great hope.
As I wrestle… He is working.
Here in the middle of now.

In the middle of floods…
Causing life to feel blurry and weary.

In the middle of treacherous traveling…When taking new paths and the way feels unsure.

In the middle of teaching and creating…And life feels like it is getting lost in translation.In the middle of pursuing that which really matters…And receiving the unexpected offering of a hand…Providing much desired togetherness.In the middle of the everyday chaos…The normals…

As well as in the special, life giving advancements.In the middle of soul testings…
Heart wrenching sacred places…
When just a few short months separate this…From this…

And it’s in the process that reoccurring thoughts circulate…
“What if somehow I am missing my calling… wasting potential… failing.”
“What if I never become all that I long to be or dreamed I would be…”

And then I am reminded…

Largely what I have been called to do…
Is raise up the next generation of Faith walkers.The next season of encouragers…The next re-counters of His faithfulness.Far surpassing me…
New hearts will be compelled…They will lean in…Souls mesmerized by love.Children from all over the world will begin writing their own stories because maybe…
Just maybe….
In the middle… right in the middle…A little girl trusted and raised a family.

And as the new leaders lead…New generations of worshipers will be drawn in…And they too will begin to lead in powerful ways… changing the course of history.

They will experience for themselves…
Emmanuel… God with us…
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!Right in the middle of faithful songs…
Sung in the middle ruts…He actively writes new lyrics.

Even when I feel wasteful…
He wastes not!
And my children shall remember this part too.Because they have been singing alongside their mama… right in the middle…
Witnessing The God ever present in her weaknesses.

And ultimately…
Right in the middle…
He keeps inviting us deeper.

After several, long months of intentional prayer and counsel.
In addition to our original calling as missionaries…serving,counseling, providing, loving and equipping our Tico friends..
The Lord has asked us to partner with Him as shepherds of our local Sàmara church.

We already have a deep love for these people, and we believe serving in this capacity will only further advance what we are already doing here.As of November 5th we will become volunteer lead pastors, or as I would nervously say…”Mother and Father” of this precious body.
As we continue to press on… right in the middle…
Two things come to mind…

One… a crazy song I remember hearing as a child… “Stuck in the middle with you,” by Stealers Wheel.
It reminds me… I am happy to be anywhere that Jesus is… even if it’s in the sticky spaces of my life.

And Two… if I happen to revisit the ruts…
The good news is Emmanuel will be right there too…
Calling me down from that tree…
Meeting me at the well…
Rescuing me from the belly of a whale, tragedies and other dark spaces.

Right in the middle.
This is our God.

Please continue to pray for the health of our family, encouragement for our souls, fellowship for our hearts and courage to shepherd a church in the middle of it all.

Yet, the new normal still seems strange at times. From transportation (Charli loves it) to the food we eat… the new normal still seems unusual. But life doesn’t seem to slow down or pause.

We still have traffic jams and busyness… it just looks so much different than it did in the US.

These were two different “traffic jams” within about a week or two.

As I sit down to write this, I realize two things. First, my body is deeply tired. Second, we are blown away by the way we have been so encouraged and by the way we have been able to encourage others.

Too much time has passed since my last post to try to even summarize what’s been going on… to be completely honest, I (Adam) had a rough few months. My heart was just so incredibly heavy. I manage to be a high-functioning person (very productive) even when I’m deeply sad or discouraged. Ministry is hard, but what an honor it is to get to do it. When you love deeply, you often seem to hurt deeply. Currently, I am extremely encouraged.

My precious wife continued to encourage me. Thanks to the generosity of a friend, I was able to make a long weekend trip to the US. What a gift that was! It was a truly encouraging and brought much needed refreshment to my soul.

Maybe more than anything, I was so deeply encouraged by the time with our friends from Two Rivers Chattanooga Church.

Kelly’s brother, Chris Jessen, planted a church outside of Chattanooga a little over 2 years ago. They brought a team for the church’s first mission trip. I am in awe of their beautiful hearts.

Prior to their arrival, the Lord spoke very clearly to me that the purpose of their trip was to encourage.

We began by purchasing and packing bags of groceries to deliver in poor communities, while we also delivered the hope and love of Jesus.

The team worked together in a beautiful harmony the entire time that they were here. It was such an incredible picture of true community.

They loaded bags of groceries, but what they were really giving away were expressions of the Father’s affection.

I’m still amazed by how a simple act of kindness can soften a heart so much.

This group excelled in kindness… and laughter (even to the point of “snorting” laughter).

They even made the journey fun! Yes, we did put three adults in the front passenger seat. In Costa Rica my car is basically the equivalent to a bus.

Sometimes the journey simply to one house required an adventure through mud, creeks and jungle.

The homes and families we visited were so incredibly humble…

In their humility there was such desperation. We saw countlesspeople physically healed before our eyes as we laid hands on these precious people. We shared the love of Jesus in a way that gave hope and restoration… never in a way that caused shame.

Another key part of this team’s purpose was to encourage pastors. Being a pastor in Costa Rica is extremely difficult. Paying bills feels impossible. Resources are so limited. The team brought a powerful training, loving words / prayers of encouragement and a gift. They offered each pastor a Study Bible that included wonderful commentary. As they received these Bibles, I could see in their faces that they knew that they were receiving a treasure.

There is so much power in the tongue. These precious people chose to speak life into the pastors from surrounding communities.

I could sense the desperation for encouragement. I am painfully familiar with that desperation.

We were also able to serve in two local schools. We shared Bible stories, games and crafts with the students. Of course, there was much play and laughter.

They were told of the Father’s love by people who were delighting in them. Simply beautiful!

While the majority of the team invested in the children, two men from the team joined me for another special mission. We went to each employee at these two schools. We offered them a Coke and chocolate. It was painful to see how suspicious they were of us when we first arrived, but the Lord used Coca-Cola and chocolate to soften hearts. The special mission was to encourage the teachers, administrators, janitors and lunch ladies. They have such important jobs, and it’s easy for them to “feel” like their jobs are not important. It’s easy to feel undervalued. Because of the harsh conditions, it’s very common for teachers to go on strike (almost every year). We reminded them of how valuable and important they are. We told them that we were proud of them, and we’re grateful for what they do. Literally, we watched the stone-cold, serious faces of some of the teachers melt into child-like faces that couldn’t contain their giggling as we spoke to them. It was like we had lifted them up on our shoulders in a victory celebration.

Hoping you feel lifted up onto the shoulders of our good, loving Daddy as you read this.

And when we fall down… or when we feel deeply discouraged, or when the radiator blows out (literally or metaphorically)… we keep moving forward. There’s always a way. There’s always a solution. Even if that means hitchhiking in the back of a stranger’s pick-up truck late at night in the rain. We continue. We press on….

But there’s something about doing it together that makes it not only bearable… but life-giving and enjoyable.

Deeply grateful and encouraged.

So much love from the Backwards Missionaries.

]]>1402changes…http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/changes/
Tue, 18 Apr 2017 13:07:19 +0000http://thebackwardsmissionaries.com/?p=1365Today is a special day.
Today marks 19 years of marriage.
Crazy to think Adam has loved me for more of my life than he hasn’t.
I am a blessed woman!

One thing I have learned most in these 19 years…
Is that LOVE changes a person.

I can honestly say that I have a husband that loves like Jesus…
And he married quite a mess… I mean that humbly and sincerely.
I can also openly share that Jesus knew…
This insecurity-prone, little girl would need the powerful, consistent love,
Of a husband like Adam to do what we have been called to do.Loving me is not always easy…
I should know… it’s taking ME a lifetime to figure out how to do it.

When we married that rainy Saturday, 19 years ago…
I didn’t even know who I was.As strange as it may sound… I don’t even feel like it was the “real me.”
It was more like a made up version of about 100 different peoples perspective of who I thought I should be.
I was lost girl in a fancy gown.

Who I would be become…
Was and continues to be secretly sketched out.The first 2 decades of my life were spent trying to earn love.
Though I had loving parents, most of those 20 years I felt largely below average…
Non special.
The eyes I had for myself were critical, cold and shallow.

Almost 20 years have come and gone in my marriage…
At times I can be be just as hard to love, but I can honestly say…
I am learning to enjoy being me…
Which oddly enough makes me more enjoyable.
Undeserved love has that effect on a person.
It teaches a person to give themselves grace.

Real love changes a person.

It invites the distant soul…
Into nearness.It gives them a heart to take in beauty with unscaled eyes.It teaches one how to become a friend to themselves…

To really love themselves.

It teaches how to recognize and celebrate their own beauty instead of deny it…And it keeps the heart open to relationships…
Enabling us to boldly and authentically call out the beauty in others.Real love releases freedom.
Freedom is so incredibly valuable!Honestly, I have learned that most often the greatest bondage in my life starts between my two ears.
The enemy doesn’t even need an army to defeat or distract me if I am busily doing the work for him.
Quite often a whole lotta love and a whole lotta taking thoughts captive is needed in order to change what we believe about ourselves.

Our thoughts will either be swords of truth battling for us…
Or weapons of lies stirring wars within us.WE actually get to design our thought lives…What am I designing?
Am I designing a world where love reigns?

This is a valuable question I need to constantly ask myself.

These last 2 years of being a missionary has challenged almost everything I have ever believed about myself.
It has pushed me to new limits.
They haven’t been my shiniest 2 years, but they have been my rawest.
And yet, love has not been withdrawn.
Not from God, not from my family, not from Adam.

19 years…
19 years of tasting morsels of The Father’s love.
This love without a doubt has not only helped me to love myself…
But it has also activated me to supernaturally love others…
To love in ways that my selfish, fearfilled nature would without a doubt resist.

They say you can’t change a person…
And in someways I can agree with that statement.
But I can also say without a doubt…
Real, lasting love, though almost never easy…
Does indeed change a person.

I think that is what Paul meant when he wrote the words in 1 Corinthians 13…
It was a promise of sorts…
That “love never fails.”
And never means never!

With all the adventures and twists and turns that still await…
This is the one promise I cling to to carry me through.I pray it encourages you as well.

We have continued doing much of what we love to do… delivering groceries to those in need, offering encouragement and care, training, building relationships / investing in people, dreaming of more ways to make a difference here.

Here is a picture from one of the recent Pastoral Training meetings.
I’m the one with the shiny spot on top of his head at the end of the table.

Kelly continues to serve in ways that truly change the atmosphere.

Sometimes this involves her guitar. Often it involves a heart-broken friend simply asking to spend a few hours with her. This week I was so taken back by Kelly’s love. One particular lady in our community struggles with drugs, and it appears that she has major emotional health issues. Her anger is dangerous. We’re not sure if she has multiple personalities or simply polar extremes that she can’t control. Either way, almost on a daily basis her actions negatively impact our family on a personal level. Just a few days ago, I saw Kelly face to face with this woman, calling out the beauty within her in such a loving, tender, gentle way. I was absolutely speechless. I didn’t know what to do… or even how to respond to seeing such illogical love. I believe a softening took place in this woman’s heart. Something was beginning to be knit together in her heart. I believe a desire for connection was birthed.

As I sit to process the last month, I’m blown away by one thing in particular… unity. It’s been so beautiful. We’ve been so honored to be a part of it.

This is my friend, Kevin, leading worship at a service that fostered unity for an extremely diverse audience during a powerful time of ministry.

These are few of my favorites… serving with them is so life-giving.

I have always given relationships great value, but I’m continuing to learn to value them even more. Together is better than alone. There’s something so rich about being committed to a common mission with people that you live. It’s life-giving. What would feel impossible alone seems like a small hurdle when together. So grateful for friendship. It’s so powerful. So important!

So many people… different denominations, different socio-economic strata, different everything… came together for the purpose of love. They unified to advance the Kingdom. We were honored to get to be a part of it. They built a Sewing School so that there will soon be two schools happening simultaneously!

Everything seems so different here… not just the language… so much of the culture… even the construction methods.

But “together” we can accomplish so much more than we can on our own!

This is the finished product.

So many gathered to celebrate this victory. Truly, an extremely diverse gathering… both to serve and to receive, as we dedicated this school to the Lord and the community.

It was a sacred time of coming together to worship the One True God and celebrate the victory that had been accomplished through the hands of diversity.

I think at the heart of unity is a fight to truly love. It never means that we water down truth. It never means that truth is relative. At the same time…

We have to learn to value relationships more than we value being right.

We have to learn to value relationships more than we value getting our way.

We have to learn to value relationships more than we value agreeing!

We can disagree drastically and still have relationship… still honor one another.

I’m learning more and more what love looks like…

I’m blown away how loving comes so naturally to children.
My Shorty still loves to be held and cuddled.
I’m not really someone who takes selfies, but it’s fun to capture the love they share.

Charli’s dream day would be a day where she could do all of her favorite things while never letting go of a hug. One night I sat at a different seat for dinner. I was beside her for a change. She wouldn’t let go of the hug even if it made eating difficult. (To be honest, if I have food in front of me, I normally am so focused on the food that I don’t even speak until every morsel is consumed.)

As Charli was walking out the front door one morning this week, she said, “Daddy, when I grow up, I want to have a castle. You can live there with me so we can hug every day.”

My big girls truly treat every baby as they should… they treat them as precious treasures from the Lord. They consider it pure joy to love on them.

I’m learning that love is often VERY inconvenient.
It often doesn’t fit neatly and tidily in my planner.

It’s been difficult for me… but slowly I’m learning that the messy… unplanned… that which does not comply to my unspoken routines and rules… well, it invites me into freedom. It’s not exactly comfortable, but it’s good.

We are continuing to learn. Our hearts long for more healing and reconciliation. The Lord continues to pour out His mercies on us. We remain humbled and grateful for His kindness. And, we walk with great expectation and eagerness that He is just getting started with this radical work of unity.

When I first purchased my motorcycle, a good friend told me, “There are only two types of motorcycle drivers.
Those who have had wrecks and those who will.”

(If you look closely, yes, that is a butterfly sticker on my motorcycle. It was there when I bought it. I didn’t feel like the motorcycle was manly enough for me to actually remove it.)

Unfortunately, I moved from the category of “those who will have a wreck to those who have had a wreck.” Yes, I had a motorcycle accident. That wasn’t the main problem… I tried to self-medicate afterwards. Not sure why, but I often seem to struggle when it comes to asking for (or receiving) help. It pains me to do this.

I will spare you pictures of the wound. When I’m in town, those with weaker stomachs quickly look away after making eye contact with the burn on my leg. It’s quite gross-looking and so excruciatingly painful. Unfortunately, I ended up in the hospital. It’s a pretty ugly burn from the muffler… both in size and intensity, but I’m making wonderful progress now.

What I’ve been asking myself is…
“Why is it so hard to ask for and receive help?
Why is it so hard to rest?” (strict adherence to taking antibiotics and resting have been the doctor’s emphatic demands) I’m wrestling with those questions. I’m learning. But it’s not easy.

My biggest takeaway is that I’m so incredibly blessed. The Lord has given me such precious friends. They have blown me with their service and kindness. I’m just so grateful. I honestly don’t even know how to express it.

And… I’m so incredibly grateful for progress. I’m able to get around a little now, and I’m not even having to use crutches.

I remain in a season of learning… wrestling… processing… growing. Seems I have an infinite amount of growing remaining to be done.

The Lord continues to pour out His goodness on us… truly, it is obvious that He lavishes His children with His love.

My cup was overflowing to have time with some of precious loved ones. Such a rich treat for my soul.

Pictured below is a Nana who treasures her grandkids!

These buddies having been trying to teach me to receive (with varying degrees of success).
Deeply blessed by time with them.

When we have company, the whole family enjoys them! A simple card game of War feels so insignificant, but you can see the delight on Charli’s face. It speaks volumes.

The gift of friendship is such a life-giving blessing.

Our family has learned more about the value of friendship in the past year and a half than ever before.

We have also learned the value of family.

I can’t possibly communicate how proud I am of my beautiful wife. Her diligence is inspirational. Her love and service are unequaled.

Kelly did such an amazing job sharing about the relentless, never-ending love of the Father at a youth camp.

We have continued to have so many opportunities to serve so many precious people.

We’ve continued to provide school supplies to help children in poorer villages.

We actually gave this most recent batch of backpacks (filled with school supplies) to pastors of various communities.

Our desire is to lovingly invite these pastors to serve their communities. Often they lack the resources to do this.

In addition, we’ve been blessed with the opportunity to help a beautiful family have running water inside their home.

We are so thankful The Lord continues to provide so many opportunities for our family to to serve, to teach, to preach, to train…

Yet, “Backwards” remains an appropriate title for us. Truly, we are the ones doing the learning. We are so extremely blessed.
Much love to all!