Are you the do-er in your family? The events planner in your circle of friends? The parent who signs up to to be the classroom-mom, the field trip chaperone and the school library volunteer? Do you mange the checking account, schedule date nights, hire babysitters and tutors, and host the majority of the play-dates in your neighborhood? Yep, thought so. And you probably make most of the important decisions in your house-hold. Like, when and where your family vacations will take place, who is bringing what to holiday gatherings, what doctor or dentist the kids will go to, right? Yep. Me too. Is it fair to say that we might be just a tad bit of a, eh hem, control freak? I know. Its alright! We get stuff done!! But it does get just a little bit exhausting at times. Okay, quite a bit freaking exhausting. The thing is, you've been running on empty for so long you don't even recognize the drainage it puts on you. You've been living in the driver's seat for such a long time that you can't imagine what it would be like to hand it over to someone else. To let someone else figure it out for a while. To hand off a couple of tasks on your to-do list to another member of your inner circle, not just in a pinch, but like, indefinitely, or even permanently! The thought of it makes you a wee nauseous. First, you dismiss the thought all together because surely nobody will even come forward and well, even if they did, they would't be consistent, they would forget, and you'd have to do it anyway. Or worse, they'd mess it up. Like, really really bad and you'd have to re-do everything and it would just be easier if you'd done yourself in the first place. Right? STOP THE MADNESS!! For a second, pretend like I'm your big sister who really really adores you and wants the very best for you and listen closely. (The statement above is part true because even though we haven't met I do adore you a little and I honestly do want the very best for you, cause geez, its just good karma!) Okay, so I'm your loving big sis whose been concerned for some time and I just have to say this to my sweet sibling...You are great at what you do, the best, its true that nobody will be able to do it quite like you, it amazes me how flawlessly you handle everything and no one in this family or in the whole world will be able to do the stellar job with (insert task here) that YOU do. But, you've been doing it for a long long time and it is starting to take a toll on your wellness. Which part of your wellness, you ask? Physical, mental and emotional. And as your big sis I strongly recommend taking baby steps toward surrender and see what it feels like to just BE.

And I just so happen to have a nifty list of 7 cool ways slow down, chill out and LET GO that don't have to break the bank.

TAKE A WALKThis is simple but hear me out. Take a walk. I know, I know, you walk every day on the treadmill at the gym, you walk to get lunch on your break, you run on the weekends, but see, that's DOING. I mean just go for a walk. Sure, you can break a sweat if you want to. You can make it an all day trek if you'd like but, the point here is not to have a goal in mind. No finish line, no calories counted, the only mission is to observe and hopefully, enjoy your surroundings. Observe how it feels in your body to be outside, without an agenda, and notice how it feels later on as well. Maybe you drank more water as a result of your walk, or slept better, or not, but make a mental note. Also, if racing thoughts crowd your experience, gently excuse them until later. They'll still be there. But for now, permission granted to push pause on your mental playlist!

JOURNALSpeaking of notes, now is the time journal. If you aren't into writing, no worries! Don't stress, simple is key here. Make it pleasurable. So, have a cup of chamomile tea, a hazelnut coffee, a glass of ice water with lemon slices, put on your comfiest cut-off shorts and soft cotton tank top or favorite worn out jammies and get comfy. Designate a notebook or journal to be your special place for keeping your inclinations. Jot down the hi-lights of your day, your walk, your favorite meal, how did it taste, what ingredients were used, what were you doing or NOT doing when you felt most connected, grounded and calm... When you felt present, or not in a hurry to get to a particular destination... When you felt like the real YOU. If nothing comes, make something up that you'd like to cultivate in your day and list 3 things you can do NOW to take small steps in that direction.

PRACTICE YOGA

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​Take a yoga class...if you already do then try a different style. If you usually do hot yoga or Power Yoga then take Yin Yoga, Restorative Yoga or Yoga Nidra. These styles are calmer and very grounding. Don't be too quick to label these boring or not active enough for you! The point here is letting go. Any style of yoga will facilitate this in a huge way! But these slower styles are deeply powerful tools to foster self-compassion, courage and clarity...all necessary for truly letting go of that which no longer serves your higher purpose! And its an added bonus that they all help lower blood pressure, calm the nervous system, increase flexibility, improve sleep, all leading to reduced stress hormones and a healthier metabolism...I'm just sayin;-)

GET A MASSAGEBook a Swedish or Deep Tissue massage with a local massage therapist. If you want to splurge on a day spa, go for it! I usually come home from a day spa experience singing to myself...but a basic healing relaxation massage at a local studio is pretty affordable and equally relaxing. There are usually discounts for first time clients so look around in your area. If you struggle with any female issues which may be getting in the way of your desire to let the small stuff go, such as PMS or menopause, a women's massage therapist will put you at ease. Massage Therapy has profound impact on easing symptoms of anxiety and depression, especially when scheduled regularly. Try for once or twice a month. If this is not in the budget right now then try trading back rubs with your honey, or even with your kiddos. A 30 minute neck and shoulder massage is super- healing! But even just one trip to a skilled and professional massage therapist gets all the feel good hormones flowing and brings you one giant step closer to ultimate surrender. (If you're in my area let me know, I just happen to be a massage therapist in Pasadena, CA www.rosecitymassagetherapy.com)

GET CREATIVEAre you ready for this?...okay, here it is, MAKE SOMETHING. Yep. Visit your local craft supply store. Raid your kids craft supplies. Pull out your sewing machine and make something easy like a pillow case or window panel. Tinker in your garden, rearrange the pots on your porch and add some colorful blooms. Keep it simple. Anything that can be finished in a weekend. Help your kids hand- make cards for their teachers. Cook something in your crock pot with loads of fresh organic vegetables or any yummy recipe you've wanted to try. Whatever makes you feel like taking the time to have an experience and be present for it, no rushing allowed!

DO A CLEANSEThe body and mind are pretty tight buds. Cleaning out one helps to clean out the other. If the organs (liver, kidneys, pancreas) are clear of excess toxins then the heart, adrenals and of course the brain can function way better. A better brain means less anxiety, fatigue, insomnia, depression...and that makes it far easier to cultivate a calmer connection between yourself and the universe. And if surrendering heavy, yukky stuff you've been holding on to is a priority for you, a cleanse is a great tool to get started from the inside out. There's lots on the market and my favorite is the Standard Process 21-day cleanse. All plant based supplements and a drink mix. I've done it 3 times and am amazed at the relief I get from feminine symptoms, brain fog, lethargy, mood issues, fat burning goes up, energy soars, just a way good idea.

TELL SOMEONEOnce we confide our plan to do (XYZ) to someone else, it becomes real. If we tell a few people it becomes way real. If our besties know we want to make a change in our life they're more liable to encourage us. Our families are more likely to support us if they know we are needing to work on our personal development, self discipline and self compassion. So tell your peeps your desire to make progress in this area and it becomes real for them too. They'll stand behind you (or at a minimum they'll not sabotage your efforts) and you just might inspire them to let go of the small stuff and live a fuller but much LIGHTER life too.

So there are seven sweet ways to surrender! While I wrote these with a light heart I know from experience there may be bigger- deeper- heavier things making this even more vital to your life. Perhaps you are in a toxic work environment, yukky relationship, or struggling with addiction, either yourself or a family member. My deepest desire is that no matter your situation right now, TODAY is a day of healing and change. You can take control without being controlling. You can let go without giving in. You can heal yourself and others by showing up, being present and hearing the universe when it speaks to you!