This also allegedly shocked Kim, who had to pretend she didn’t know West was going to tell everyone about the little marketing opportunity growing in her uterus.

TMZ claims Kardashian had “no idea” Kanye was going to make the announcement about her 12-week pregnancy and was as surprised to hear the shout-out as everyone else. As though Kris Jenner didn’t plot this whole thing out with PR people while the pee stick was still wet in her hands.

What we’re supposed to believe is that Kim and Kanye originally planned to keep the pregnancy a secret until Kim started showing and they couldn’t blame it on holiday overeating anymore, even though everyone knows there’s no way Kim would pass up a few months of even more attention than she already gets.

But alas — all Kim’s “plans” were ruined when West decided that the time was right because her BFF and some of their respective family members were at the show. Despite all this, Kardashian was said to be seen crying tears of joy, especially because West made the announcement during her favorite song, ‘Lost in the World.’ (It has romantic lyrics like “the signs of truth were tattooed across our often entered vagina.” Seriously.)

With razor precision, the Kardashian family simul-tweeted their joy at a new source of income, and Kim later took to her corporate-sponsored blog and wrote:

It’s true!! Kanye and I are expecting a baby. We feel so blessed and lucky and wish that in addition to both of our families, his mom and my dad could be here to celebrate this special time with us. Looking forward to great new beginnings in 2013 and to starting a family. Happy New Year!!! Xo

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