Jerry Hayes

Trump and his freak show will make America Grate

12 Nov 2016 at 11:36

As a fully paid up member of the elite, Westminster bubble, liberal, Bremoaning scumocracy some of you might be surprised at my views of our EU leaders reaction to the Trump presidency. Incompetent, patronising, arrogant and a shining beacon to why most of them are unsuited to diplomacy. Any fool knows that Trump is hopelessly out of his depth, a bigot, a loudmouth and is to foreign affairs what a Black and Decker chainsaw does for circumcision. But it’s best not to remind him. Pious lectures about an EU that only exists in the Disneyland of the addled mind of Juncker is like poking a grisly bear with a sharp stick tipped with itching powder. And for God’s sake Merkel remember that grandpa Trump was a German called Drumpf. Fete the Donald, flatter him (he loves it) and then send him on Bunga Bunga party groaning with pneumatic Romanian girls with big tits. You will have made a friend and ally. Mercifully our Foreign Office got it right. Precisely the right tone and May was rewarded with a Thatcher analogy which is always a great headline in the Mail. And I suspect Trump would be fascinated to meet Bozo in the same was as anyone would like to stare at a dog in a tuto that does hand stands. Anyway, they have an awful lot in common. With a bit of luck he might adopt him as some sort of mini me pet.

In many ways grandpa Drumpf was even more of phenomenon than the new President. He made his money out of barbering, brothel keeping and the gold rush. He died at the age of forty nine leaving the equivalent of $600,000 Oh, and he married a woman named Christ. So Trump’s gene pool bubbles away like a witches caldron of testosterone, adrenaline and nitroglycerin.

After the initial horror of his election I am not quite so depressed, admittedly not a very high bar. His acceptance speech was gracious, magnanimous and on the cusp of being Presidential. He is not going to wreck Obamacare but tweak it. And he raises a fair point about NATO. It is quite wrong that America pays 75% of the cost. Our allies must pull their weight. But he has to make it clear to Putin that NATO does mean NATO. That we will protect any member who is attacked. Also encouraging is that he has promised to built up America’s armed forces so Putin won’t be under any delusions that Trump will be a walkover. In many ways their ruthless, narcissistic, megalomaniac similarities might make the world a marginally more safer place.

Heaven knows what he is going to do about Mexico and the Muslims. I wonder if he thinks that Muslims come from Mexico. Or that Sinai is just the plural of sinus. But his most important task is to try and heal a bitterly divided society. Banning abortion would not be a helpful start.

So much depends on his administration. Newt Gingrich really is an awful old man. Sarah Palin beyond despicable with a gene pool where nobody would fear drowning. These people will really make America Grate.