User:Strange but untrue

"Please stop editing Uncyclopedia. If you continue to blank out or remove portions of page content, protect content, module content, user content, file content, template content, or any other stuff on Uncyclopedia without permission, as you did with this edit to H, you may be blocked from editing without further notice."

"Sorry I can't be with you tonight, comrade, for Mother Russia despises Western glitzy-glamourous television show. In Soviet Russia, red book reads YOU!!!"

"Haha - it sure does. Anyway, you didn't let a pesky little NRV stop you. Killing Tom Mayfair and several admins, you climbed on top of the bodies and used their blood to write as many articles as you could. And here they are - all your precious babies!"

"Oh wow - look guys, I know I've been a useless mother and neglected to mold any of you into fine, upstanding featured articles. But can't you see I was too busy interfering into other peoples' articles?"

"You sure were. Here's just some of the places you stuck your big nose in where it wasn't wanted."

"Heh - yeah, well, it's important to get these things right, you know. Eventually, I plan to rewrite all of Uncyclopedia, replacing the penis jokes with refined satire and the stupid puns with stupid puns which are better because they were written by me."

"Nevertheless, you managed to make some friends on Uncyclopedia, if only by creating them yourself. Do you recognise..."

"I have no wish to make love to your website (I must confess I am a little new to the internet and my mind boggles at how this might be achieved), but merely to continue to enjoy its high quality in a platonic way."

"I have no idea who that is. It's certainly not a sock puppet or anything like that."

"So I guess I'll go back there and create even more happy memories now? Hey, why does this chair have chains?"

"...But finally, we have one more voice for you. Me! You don't remember me, do you?"

"You mean you're not Michael Aspel?"

"Yes, I am. But you might also know me as IAmFunny32lol."

"Ummm... no."

"What!!! But you deleted all my edits. You said they weren't funny, so I tried writing in caps and that STILL [email protected] GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!! Well I've got news for you, you fucker - I AM funny - it explains why in the second line of my signature. And you're staying right here until you laugh at something I've written."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"We'll leave you folks with a selection of Strange but untrue's favourite articles as she's wheeled away. Bye bye now!"