We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.Olive Schreiner (1855 - 1920)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The truths about life, that little children have learnt:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

The great truths about life, that adults have learnt:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.2. Wrinkles don't hurt.3. Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great truths about growing old:

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.~~~~~~~~~~~~

Booze QuotesI feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - Anonymous

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... - Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Product and company slogans that really never quite gaught on too well...

Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."

Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"

Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."

MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."

Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid."

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them.

I try to stay awake and watch for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls."When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my Taylor Made 460 driver.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the PGA Superstore?

Signed...Concerned Golfer~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

HO HO HO! Imma sooooo hoppy.

Just for the fun of it I'm going to call work and tell them I'm not coming in today.

I'm sure they'll say no problem, just don't be late tomorrow.

Sometimes my humor gets lost in translation.

I really shouldn't say that though, when you consider I'm talking to a manager.

They are all born without a sense of humor.

I don't know how they function at all.

Many of them are also born without a spine.

Speaking of missing bones, my legs are feeling all wobbly. I'd better get to bed.

It takes me a while to crawl all the way back to my room.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Good morning.What an experience I've had for the past 3 days. I'm recouping from vertigo. I couldn't even stand up without getting very dizzy. I hope I never have that problem again. Yesterday I had to call 911 to get to the hospital for some help. After being examined by a doctor, given a few injections, I was able to rest there for about 6 hours. I managed to convince the doctor that I was OK to go home as my son came and brought me home and picked up my scripts for nausea and vertigo. Boy, I was glad I called 911 people. I live on the 3rd floor here in my building and I knew I couldn't walk down all those stairs. It was so hard to sit in their chair and let them carry me down. But today I'm feeling better today and it's safe to say I won't be doing anything strenuous for the day. I'll have to work tomorrow morning but I'm sure I'll be well enough to go. If not, I'll call my boss and ask for one more day.

Are we having fun yet to quote our Ana? Hope you all have a good day today.

Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe i hope work flies by for you. Enjoy the spring day haroula. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. How are you? You're up awfully early. Wishing everyone a peaceful day!

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. Midge, Prayers you are feeling OK today. Ana, I'm hanging in there, but it's not easy. I never knew anything could hurt this much. Danish and French Toast in the NC.

Good morning boomies! It's a stormy day here and Merlin is huddled by me wearing his thundershirt. He's such a baby. I will be heading to class in a bit and then I will meet Sam for lunch. After that I should have what I need to get back in the corner.

Joe, hope your day goes smoothly. Your customers must love your sense of humor! That is why you can make so many sales.

Haroula, have a happy day!

Sue, how is everything in your corner of the world?

Midgie, how awful! So glad you are home now and feeling a bit better. Don't push yourself. Do you know what caused it? Be well my friend

Gerry, is your snow melted?

Gail, enjoy your day.

Connie, I can't imagine how difficult it must be. I hope that you have family and friends nearby for support. You are in my thoughts.

Poor Midge! I know how that vertigo feels. I had it a few years back and it was like I was drunk. The world was spinning when I moved my head. I fell over in the garden and barely missed hitting my head on an old toilet that I'm using as a planter. Went to doc and she asked a bunch of questions and determined it was the little thingies in my inner ear that were all 'clumped together'. I never knew the inner ear had thingies to clump. Anyway, she gave me a paper with 'exercises' on it that involved sitting up, leaning over to one side, sitting up again, then leaning the other way. She said it would realign the thingies. Sounded stupid, but after 2 days of doing the silly exercise, I no longer was dizzy. She said she only knew what it was because she herself had the same thing. Funny.

Hope your problem is as easy to fix. Not fun to feel awful and the world spinning around. Feel better soon!

Bank today. Depositing money from rentals and going to eat somewhere fun. Will decide on the fly. I'm so tired of food that nothing sounds yummy. Maybe an exotic place with lots of choices. All my favorite Oriental places have closed or moved out of range and I'm having Fried Rice withdrawals!

Well, ShemerBaby is home from the vet's and is one happy cat to wallow in familar surroundings. He's endured a front chest shave and is 1 antibiotic shot and a bit of ear mite meds heavier. What I thought were barbed wire wounds are really cat bites and 2 bites at that. They healed over but opened again and now are draining and bleeding -the poor cat. We will know by next Monday if things are healing well. If not it's an operation and he won't like that at all.

Just popped a red baron pizza in the oven. Hope it's good. I usually make my own but.........getting lazy. Play Station 4 doesn't help with household chores either.

It's a lovely day. 70's and 80's and thunder showers this PM.

Happy Thursday all -Thursday already?!!

_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

Hi friends. I've been moving very slowly today. Still a bit light headed but nothing like the past three days. I'm gonna go to work in the morning and head out to my chiropractor in the afternoon to see if he can make me feel any better. I'm still not 100% back yet. I feel like I've been drugged. Ick! I hate this feeling.