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Hopeless soul

bitch whore slut..that's what my ex called me .i loved him with all my heart but he kept hurting me time and time again. he always accused me of cheating and after months i finally gathered enough courage to breakup with him.i cried the first couple of days thinking i was foolish thinking he'd change back to when we were in love..3 weeks after my horrible experience with my ex, my 6th grade crush hit me up saying he couldn't hold it in anymore he liked me alot and eventhough its been months since i've seem him ,he stilll feels and thinks of me the same. hes words were so sweet ,things i havven't heard in so long, i was vonerable and started going out with him..im a week into our relationship and i have no desire to love him, i can't, my ex took all i had and now im just living a lie, telling my current boyfriend i love him when i don't .dont get me wrong im trying to find something to adore him for but i can't. im just a lost soul.. its funny though, my ex stalks me now and says he regrets all that he has done and loves me..