Jan 1, 2014

Happy New Year!

So much to talk about since I've been on such a blogging
hiatus with the craziness of the holidays!

We’ll start with the big one: I've made no secret about the fact that I've
really struggled this past month in the diet and fitness category…life got
hectic, my willpower went out the window, and I let myself eat to my inner fat
kid’s content. I know I've gained a lot
of weight…I haven’t stepped on the scale in a while now but the way my clothes
are fitting, I’m preparing for the worst.
My health has been pretty terrible, as I've been in a full blown Crohn’s
flare up since Thanksgiving, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better with
my poor eating habits. It’s so much
harder to start back up after taking time off, but I know I have to do it if I
want to reach my goals.

To be honest, this past month scared me. It scared me to see how easy it was to slip
back in to my old ways…those old habits that got me in trouble in the first
place and at my highest weight ever.
This is about more than just a number on the scale..it’s about my inability
to control myself around sugary, fatty foods.
It’s about how horrible I feel after a month of poor eating… there are
the obvious physical effects like tight clothes and loss of energy, but I’m
more surprised at the emotional effects, and how I've fallen into such a
depressed funk.

But through all of this, I don’t want to lose sight of this
journey and what an amazing year 2013 was for me. I ran my first half marathon, and ran 3 total
this past year. I completed my goal to
run 13 races in 2013, after barely being able to run for 30 minutes straight at
the end of 2012. I gained some serious
arm muscle. I saw some ab
definition. I learned a lot about how my
poor eating habits cannot be undone with exercise. I’m not perfect, but I've learned a lot this
year, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

2013 was, without a doubt, my healthiest year to date. My goal for 2014 is to fully embrace my
healthy lifestyle; to find a balance so that holidays and off months don’t have
the same effect on me that they do now.

I am confident that 2014 will be the year that I reach my goal weight,
and that I will give myself some Grace along the way. Remember that post from a few weeks ago? That’s still my biggest goal for 2014, to
give myself some grace on this journey and stop being so hard on myself when I
do fall.