What are the seven types of submissive women? Why do we get pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain? How can you make your partner more dominant? Which implement is best for spanking? Do you need a safe word? What’s the difference between punishment and discipline?

For several years the author of this book wrote a weekly blog about the experience of being a dominant man in a D/s relationship with submissive women. Under the pseudonym of Discerning Dom, he posted on these questions, and many others, such as: what sort of erotic satisfaction can there be in humiliation or bondage? Does a desire to submit have something to do with one’s upbringing, or is it in the genes? What do submissive women really want? And what goes through the mind of a dominant man?

Despite the increased exposure in the popular media of the D/s (or bdsm) lifestyle, there is still a lot of misunderstanding. All too often the practices of dominants and submissives are confused with sexual abuse, and those who engage in them are assumed to be suffering from some kind of psychological damage. Even those who regularly take part in such scenarios may have misgivings about what they do. Is kneeling on the floor what an independent, self-respecting woman ought to be doing? Should she really offer herself to be whipped, tied up, owned? Dominant men too can have reservations. His woman wants him to hurt her; can he bring himself to be really forceful with the woman he loves, even if she says this is what she wants?

All these issues, and many more, are discussed in an entertaining, informed and sympathetic tour around a kinky but strangely compelling lifestyle. Whether you are experienced or just curious, this book offers enlightening and stimulating reading.