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It’s 7:23 in the morning and you haven’t even left for school yet. You are faced with a monumental decision: do you make a bowl of Cheerios and have to live the tardy walk-of-shame?

The immediate solution: Pop Tarts. Grab a Pop Tart and eat it in the car. You are not only to class on time, but you are sort of nourished.

Pop Tarts are like their own food group. With around four hundred calories and thirty grams of sugar per package, this delicious and totally fake pastry will give you a delightful zing to start your day.

With the help of the school vending machines and these reviews, you too can learn the full joy of the whole Pop Tart spectrum

Best Time to Munch: Today, tomorrow, once a day for forever. These are pouches of heaven in an aluminum wrapper.

Brown Sugar and Cinnamon

Filling: Brown sugar and cinnamon, like the name.

Dough: Plain vanilla, but it should be something exotic… like cinnamon swirl.

Frosting/Topping: Something that resembles maple, but studies were inconclusive.

DR: 4

Best Time to Munch: Only in a pinch. It’s not as bad as cherry, but not as tremendous as s’mores.

When Pop Tarts were first invented in 1964, they were originally released without frosting and came only in fruit flavors and brown sugar & cinnamon, because the inventors felt that they couldn’t make a cream frosting or filling that would withstand the toaster.

Pop Tart Fun Fact: A scientist from Texas conducted an experiment after a man sued Post for his toaster catching fire and discovered that, when left unattended, Pop Tarts can create a fire up to a foot high.

Don’t try this at home, kids. Just eat your Pop Tart like a normal child.