Marmite Neglect

Note: this copy is merely a writing exercise. This copy is based on the style of copy from the Marmite advertising campaign.

Over the last five years at Marmite Incorparated we have uncovered a worrying trend among the British public: we have witnessed cases of Marmite neglect on the rise. Those of us at Marmite incorporated have been appalled and devastated after hearing tragic stories of mistreatment and neglect.

In 2014 members of the Love It contingency formed a group named Marmite Lovers Against neglect. This formation has been working tirelessly to provide us with information regarding the nature of this neglect. Marmite Lovers Against Neglect found cases to involve Marmite at the backs of cupboards, cracked jars, stuck lids from under use, dusty lids and in some serious cases jars have been found underneath cupboards, fridges and sofas. Marmite Lovers Against neglect has also found that neglect can affect all types of Marmite. Big jars, baby jars, regular jars, special editions and in one case Marmite Rice Cakes have all been found to be affected by cases of neglect.

However Marmite Lovers Against Neglect have found a solution to all future cases of Marmite Neglect. They have opened hundreds of Marmite Rehoming Centres across the country. These centres provide essential rehabilitation and nurturing services to the most neglected jars of Marmite. These Centres, which have been funded by us here at Marmite Incorporated, also allow jars to be rehomed to nurturing owners who will ensure Marmite is not left forgotten at the back of the cupboard.