Hence you might wonder why I seem to never manage to type even a single sentence of proper English or why I consistently add "-er-" or "-la" to almost to every second word – in addition to my abysmal spelling. Some of you may even be disturbed by my frequent use of "oha".

The reason is, despite being a recognized information scientist specializing in the computerized financial exploitation of Pokémon playing minors, I prefer to disguise myself as the dyslexic 17-year-old German-Vietnamese rental nomad offspring shaken by attention deficit disorder known as "Lowgock", in order to escape from both the doyen's loyal servants demanding my wise counsel as well as my tedious brother, the bad seed of our family.