Sex and the City meets the Dalai Lama. Buns and Marty use their lively escapades to ignite an authentic inquiry into themselves ... an emotionally-naked exposé baring all.
Their keen observations of life’s twists and turns will inspire you to use your obstacles as a path to your heart’s desire.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

My Dad and his Korea.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my Dad lately.He is 88 years old and is facing the physical
and cognitive challenges that can manifest at that age.I realized that throughout my entire life,
while I’ve always told him I loved him every time I see him, I have never
really told him why.So last week, I
sent my Mom this note…

Hi Mommsie… I was
sitting and thinking this morning that I wanted to send an email to Dad that
you could read to him. I thought he
might like to hear why his eldest daughter thinks the world of him.

He taught me how to
laugh. And be silly.

He showed me how to
make other people feel really good about themselves – especially when he first
would meet them. He always talks about other people in superlatives.
He always finds what is best about other people and describes them that
way.

He remembers people
and what matters to them.

He followed his
dream to fly. To have a cottage on an island (which will always be one of
my favourite places on the planet).

He gave me my love
of music. I can picture his hands playing hymns on the piano. I can
hear him in the car singing "Home on the Range" with all of us
chiming in in harmony. I can see us all doubled up in laughter as he
himself would have to pull over to the side of the road because he too was
laughing so hard. I love how he was always fascinated by church organs.

He shows me how to
love. And he loves you to bits. And I, for one, am glad he picked
you to be my Mom. And I know he loves each of us too. (And one of the
tenderest moments that I ever shared with Dad was the first time I saw him
after Duncan died. He just sat beside me and held my hand without saying
a word. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. It meant
so much to me.)

I am afraid that if
I don't tell him all this now, he might not appreciate it as much a year or two
down the road.

Just thinking about
how lucky I am and wanted to say so.

LOVE you both
kazillions.

My Dad has lived an extraordinary life so far.He was born in Korea (my grandparents were
medical missionaries there) so thus began a lifetime of incredible adventures
and long-lasting stories to tell us as we were growing up.

So when Marty suggested that our next adventure be a visit
to a Korean spa, I jumped at the chance.I wanted to continue my reverie and homage to my Dad and this was a
perfect way to do so.

We arrived and took our shoes off before we went in. For the
tiny sum of $15, we were given a t-shirt and shorts, two towels the size of
postage stamps and were invited to follow the arrow to the women’s area.We appeared to be two of the only three
Caucasians in the place, which to me was a great sign of authenticity.This was a real Korean gathering place!We found someone who explained to us the ways
of the spa and we dove in.First, a hot,
soapy shower to have a clean start. Then to a steam bath, cold dunk tank, dry
sauna, cold dunk tank, hot tub, cold dunk tank – in whatever order felt good. I
enjoyed the lovely gentle energy of the Korean women there.It was peaceful and cleansing in more ways
than one.

Then it was off to the main attraction for us… the Salt
Room.After donning our tees and shorts,
we went for a nap on a giant bed of heated salt crystals. You enter quietly,
choose a space to lie down, and you sleep amongst the other men and women.You could feel the toxins being invited to
leave your body.Next was the Yellow
Soil Room which supports further toxin release through far-infrared and herbs.It was okay but I didn’t have the same
visceral response to it. The last room was the Charcoal Room.Again, you find a place to lie down and doze
off.Both Marty and I fell into an
incredibly deep sleep and woke up about half an hour later rather stunned at
the depth of rest.

The grand finale included sitting in a lounge to watch
Korean soap operas and comedy shows, or order Korean food from the cafeteria
where you could also play board games.

It was quite a day.And
as much as I loved the amenities and the different treatments available, I
equally savoured being surrounded by the Korean culture and was able to
envision to some extent what my Dad must have felt when he was welcomed into
the world within their culture.

It was an absolutely lovely way to connect deeply with my
Dad and his heritage.I love you Dad…

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How it all began

Our sons were friends. Like brothers really. We mothers had never met but both our guys kept saying we should. Then Duncan passed away. It was through Marty's support of Buns' grieving her son that a deep friendship was forged.

Duncan inspired us. If his life, at 22, could get snuffed out like that, without any warning, then why wouldn't we live each day to the max ... grateful for every second, whether mundane or profound?

Really, we're not interested in writing just about the happy times. We are interested in also using the pain, the sorrow, the disappointments -- the realities of life -- to stretch and grow.

Inherent in everything that happens, at the heart of it lies love. Sometimes it doesn't look like love. We have to go through all the layers of ourselves authentically and feel them in order to reveal that essence.

But hey. It's not all serious. We have a blast. We go blindly into spontaneous adventures that some might consider reckless (Marty's word), or random (Buns' word), but regardless, whatever it is we are doing, we are awake and choosing to live out loud.

If you want to catch all the glorious details of the Buns and Marty escapades, you can start with our first post under Blog Archive (November 2010 -- Today has already been amazing -- and read the posts from bottom to top).

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