STFU Parents: Top 6 Overshare Tips For Parents In 2014

Happy New Year! It is 2014, the year that, I believe, parent overshare is going to get even weirder than it has in the past. Why do I think that? Well, every year for the past few years, the majority of data studies have shown that moms are increasingly on the move (on Facebook) and control the majority of their household purchases (after posting 100 times a day on Facebook), and that tells me parent overshare isn’t going anywhere in 2014. If anything, it’s ramping up! What delights lay ahead for us this year? What horrible, ridiculous, possibly medically irresponsible status updates and trends will some parents share with the world? On this cold, blustery day in early January, it’s a little too soon to tell. As a preemptive reminder, though, I’ve put together a list of tips for parents to follow in order to avoid any major pitfalls.

This list could be at least 20 tips long, but for the sake of brevity, I’ve whittled it down to the Top 6. After going through last year’s trends and columns, I took stock in my submissions inventory of “what’s hot” and “what’s not” in the world of overshare to reach my final conclusions. As noted in previous“Tips”columns, we can’t know where we’re going until we take a look at where we’ve been. In 2014, I wish everyone health, happiness, and the ability to know when STFU on social media. Here are my top tips for the New Year:

1. Don’t Fundraise / Crowdsource For Money (Unless It’s An Emergency)

We first talked about “parental fundraising” in this space in April, and since then, the fad has climbed to reach new heights of awkwardness. What began as a trend for parents to raise money for adoption or in vitro fertilization or — FAR more understandably — medical bills incurred due to unforeseen circumstances has now turned into a free-for-all on sites like Go Fund Me or IndieGoGo. Now, people are crowdsourcing funds for everything from college tuition (planning ahead!) to paying for a home birth (they can be expensive!). In this instance, the submitter was especially irked because she and the parents-to-be live in Australia, where healthcare is free. The submitter wrote, “That’s right, she could walk into a hospital and give birth for FREE, but would prefer other people PAY for her ‘home birth’! If they can’t afford to have the f***ing baby, how the hell do they expect to raise it?” Good point, submitter! We will ponder this further in 2014. In the meantime, if you are a parent who’s inclined to put up a fundraising site for things like this, try to curb how frequently you share the page with your friends online. If they haven’t donated yet, they’re probably not going to. Maybe they have their own lives and families to pay for? Just a thought!

The umbilical atrocity is what I would imagine Tim Burton’s home decor to look like.

Véronique Houde

utterly disgusting

Mystik Spiral

brb, going to set up a fundraiser so I can get my cat’s teeth cleaned. The vet said it should really be done this year…

CMJ

Sometimes I want to post stuff like that as an experiment to see how sanctimonious people will get….

mom4474

I checked out that page, and she has already raised over half of the money she has asked for. There are no words.

Mystik Spiral

It actually made me slightly physically ill to read that post in #1… Literally sick to my stomach. I cannot believe people donate to that shit.

JLH1986

But not to actual charities. Ugh

FormerlyKnownAsWendy

Well, and so many actual approved charities have been caught wasting money. I can’t imagine what the percent is of people who are “crowdsourcing” and then don’t use it for what they say they will, or end up getting more than they find out they need….I doubt they give it back. I only ever donate to charities that I know are solid.

Oh, thanks! I only used charity watch before b/c that’s all I knew about. I like these things.

SA

I wonder if these people realize it isn’t a tax deductible donation.

http://www.parisunraveled.com/ Allison Lounes

Not only that, but it’s taxable as income to the person who gets the money. I’m sure the IRS is going to have a field day at some point with all these.

pineapplegrasss

but, November is Past… did she have the homebirth or what? We need updates!

Are you nuts

We spent $1500 on our cat’s teeth this year. It’s no joke.
Actually it’s hilarious but it makes me sick that we spent that much money on our damn cat’s rotten teeth.

Mystik Spiral

I spent $2000 on my OTHER cat a few years ago for oral surgery to remove all her teeth. The good news? No future teeth cleanings for her.

It would never have crossed my mind to ask people for help in paying MY cat’s vet bill. And that was for her health, not a stupid fucking unnecessary home birth just because they “want it”.

Gah.

pineapplegrasss

so tacky, I agree. you know, she really could give birth at home for free lol

Tinyfaeri

I’d rather chip in a few bucks to help your cat’s teeth get cleaned than someone’s home birth. Pregnant women are at least covered by Medicaid in most states, almost no one has pet insurance, and they charge an arm and a leg. Have you tried shopping around? My in-laws found a vet that charged 1/4 as much as their old vet for the exact same services, and still did a great job.

MammaSweetpea

Someone enlighten me…how does birthing at home cost anything? Lie down and push. Where does the money come in?

Tinyfaeri

Not clue. Though if I were ever to even consider giving birth at home, my whole house would be covered in plastic, so maybe that’s it. Good plastic tarps are expensive in bulk.

FormerlyKnownAsWendy

Oh my God, this made me laugh. So true. Inside, outside, and the lawn for good measure

Tinyfaeri

lol…yup…BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!!

CrazyLogic

Midwife fees probably. If you’re smart about home birth, you’re going to want some sort of trained medical professional who can properly monitor you in case something goes wrong.

Jayamama

I’ve had two home births. My last one cost $3700 in midwife fees, plus some tests and ultrasounds, and gas because we had to drive to a bigger city to meet with the midwife. Her services included: all pre- and post-natal appointments and care; being there to monitor the birth and take care of us in the hours after the birth; cleaning up after; and being on call practically 24/7 for questions or concerns during the pregnancy and following few weeks. She also gave me some vitamins and teas that she thought would help and referred me to other doctors, such as an ultrasound technician and chiropractor.

I think having a midwife present for a home birth is absolutely essential, mainly to have a knowledgeable and equipped person around if you need help, but also because they often have things like a birth pool or birthing ball for you to use. My first daughter was born unresponsive because the crowning took too long, and I’m glad my midwife was there to resuscitate her. My second daughter got stuck with her head out, and my midwife had to help me get the rest out. Again, I’m glad she was there because I didn’t know what to do in the moment. (It turns out she was 9lbs 10oz, so it’s no surprise I needed some help.)

In my area (New Mexico, USA), home birth is actually the cheaper option, unless your insurance can cover nearly the entire hospital birth. We’re fortunate that our insurance covers both. Even though we paid our midwife in cash, we’re going to be reimbursed. However, if I couldn’t afford to have a home birth, I really don’t see myself asking others for donations. It’s a very personal decision, and not up to others to fund it.

MammaSweetpea

Thanks for that, Jayamama. All 3 of my births were in hospital, luckily covered by my husband’s insurance through work. The thought of a home birth terrifies me, but I guess for some there is no other option.

Jayamama

I didn’t do it because I had no other option. The maternity care in my region is horrible. But I could have driven 45 minutes to the nearest hospital with a maternity ward (our hometown hospital is 5 minutes away in case of emergency) in the middle of hard labor and been attended to by one of five doctors, without having any idea who that might be beforehand. I could have sat in a doctor’s office for an hour each appointment just to have my vitals taken and talk for five minutes.

No, I chose to have a home birth, because I’m terrified of having a baby in the hospital, and I love the pre- and post-natal care of a midwife. I wanted to wear my own clothes and eat if I was hungry during labor. I wanted to use a birth pool and not be asked every ten minutes if I wanted an epidural. It really comes down to me wanting some level of control over the uncontrollable. And I don’t regret one minute of it. Sure, it’s not for everyone. But it was the best choice for me and my situation.

SarahJesness

My family takes our dog to a non-profit vet and they are very good, for a low price. We used to take our cat because she got fired as a patient for being a little monster, and they don’t have the equipment to strap down such mean cats. It sucks, they’re pretty great, but at least the dog is a perfect patient.

Tinyfaeri

Our cat had a paragraph at the place that used to do her grooming that made her sound like a lion with rabies and she’s all of 13-14 pounds. She’s sweet with us, but not so fond of everyone else in the world.

SarahJesness

My cat doesn’t really like to be touched. You can pet her for a little while, but when she’s tired of it she’ll let you know by snapping at you. She gets pretty pissed off when you pick her up, and will growl and do angry meows. I think you can imagine how she reacts to being held down, poked around and given shots. At the end of an appointment someone, either a vet or my dad, needs a bandage for the bleeding. At one point they gave us tranquilizers for us to give to her before the next appointment. She was drugged up pretty crazy and she STILL attacked.

I’ve never taken her to get groomed, she almost never needs it. At one point she managed to get her whole left side covered in mud, but I couldn’t even wipe much off with a wet rag before she’d go crazy. It was something I had to let her take care of herself, even if we could afford groomers I don’t know if any would take her.

Tinyfaeri

And I bet everyone who meets her says “oh, no, she’ll like me, all cats like me!”

SarahJesness

Eh, she doesn’t usually try to bite strangers unless they manhandle her.

Lynn

I had a Facebook friend this past spring asking for donations to buy himself an expensive tricked out bicycle because he “really needed the exercise.” I thought it was beyond tacky.

Bunny Lucia

I have actually donated to quite a few GoFundMe s for animal related things. One of them was this poor dog who was like two years old and he tore some muscle in his leg and needed surgery. I would much rather see that dog get his surgery than a woman who gets FREE healthcare pay to birth at home.

I mean shit, go buy a little kiddie pool and squat. That’s $15.

Kay_Sue

I’d much rather donate to that than for someone to have a home birth they can’t afford, when they live somewhere that a hospital birth would be free.

Fuck, my hospital birth cost $4500–and I had insurance! That was after insurance! That entry made me see red. Your cat’s teeth would be so much more gratifying, honestly.

Karen Milton

During my last pregnancy I was nosing around various pregnancy/delivery websites, and one mentioned how much it can cost an uninsured American woman to give birth. It made me nauseated. I don’t know how you guys do it. In my province even home birth is covered by our provincial health care – midwives are regulated and paid by the government (midwifery is a four year university degree and they’re registered and governed by a professional organization) and they will do home or hospital deliveries at no charge to the patient. Sometimes I forget how good we have it.

Bunny Lucia

Yeah in America midwives are kind of self-regulated and most only have high school diplomas or two year degrees.

It’s a little frightening.

Karen Milton

Yikes.

pineapplegrasss

I don’t think that’s correct.. Sounds kinda backwoodsy. I don’t know the statistics of how many there are, but when I looked at miwife.org a CM (Certified Midwife) can only practice in New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. A CNM has a Masters degree and you can also get a DNP.

Paul White

Umbilical grossness. *shudder* The puke status doesn’t fase me at all,b ut the umbilical one did actually make me want to urk

Snerrk

Amanda, it’s not that the grandparents don’t want to see your snowflake. It’s that you’re such a heinous bitch they can’t stand to be near you.

Fuzzy ‘n Broken Mirror

I think Amanda is getting a bad rap because we’re only getting the Grandparents’ side of that story.

Jallun-Keatres

Eww #1 is SO TACKY!

Justme

My “overshare” resolution this year is to unfriend the people who do this kind of stuff instead of rolling my eyes and snickering at them from the safety of my laptop screen.

M

I really wish I hadn’t been eating spaghetti when I came across the umbilical cord “art.”

keelhaulrose

I have a cousin-in-law a lot like Amanda. There’s a reason we’re always too busy to stop by when we’re in town.
But that I’d admit that on Facebook. Because it gets back to people and some don’t react well to perceived slights, eh, Amanda?

My daughter once read, out loud, “p u l l spells pull!” in a store, then walked right into the door as she tried to push it open. You can bet I not only laughed, I told her daddy, uncle, and aunt about it. If I had a video it would be on Facebook in a heartbeat.
The only sobering part of the experience was when my husband said “remember, she’s half your genes”.

Rowan

That’s gold! My son once knocked his head on the window of a sweet shop, trying to look in. It made the most spectacular “clonnnnnng” noise. I was weeping with laughter. Bad mummy!

ChillMama

Ok, just reading that made me laugh so hard I almost snorted out my wine. Hilarious.

FormerlyKnownAsWendy

Reminds me of when DJ gets his head stuck in a drawer on Roseanne

AugustW

Also, when I feel the need to parentally over share, I text a fellow parent with a similar sense of humor. No need to put that shit on Facebook.

AS

OMG…the gold star post! My toddler cried today because there was snow on the ground and she didn’t know what it was. This is the second time this winter she has cried over not knowing what snow was.

The umbilical cord art is so disturbing. Not just posting it on FB, but actually knowing that it exists out there. Wowza.

whatlight

Honest question: which do you think is worse? Option A: Innocently logging on to FB expecting to see, I don’t know, some pics of cats or NYE debauchery and instead seeing that “art”. Option B: Innocently walking in to that woman’s house and actually coming face to face with said “art”? Option B to me is the stuff of nightmares.

SA

hahaha! Indeed. At least with “A” I can close my browser and walk away. I can’t imagine that face-to-face encounter and wth do you say?! I love what you’ve done with your baby trimmings?

Kay_Sue

Not to mention, you could open a new browser window and look for funny cat videos or something after A…maybe balance it out…

http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

Omg baby trimmings. I love you. I want to have your babies with all the trimmings.

cabecb

If I saw that in someone house, I would be creep out beyond belief. I would leave as soon as I could.

FormerlyKnownAsWendy

No doubt. I probably would not realize it’s umbilical cord stuff and begin to wonder about the bodies they have stacked up in the basement. My legs quaking as I sat on their couch, noticing it. Then the ultimate dash to the door

Bobais

I think the umbilical cords are very cool. Considering all the hideous filth people fill their homes with, I find that far more interesting and beautiful.

Fundraising sans emergency… nothing wrong with asking for help in certain circumstances. Many years ago back on the days of livejournal. I once witnessed a popular (now ex) friend ask for donations so he and his wife could buy each other awesome Christmas gifts because they ‘didn’t want to use their credit cards to pay for things’. I think the above example of asking money for a home birth is as equally classy.

I see a lot of irony in so-called normal every day things people do. For example I personally find someone belittling their children’s intelligence AKA “having a sense of humor”, instead, to be an ignorant, selfish, neglectful parent who probably shouldn’t have bred in the first place. Particularly since they can’t handle a moment of frustration without telling FB/Twitter/their blog/the world about it because they’re that lame. That’s not humorous, not the way they did it. Of course I could be wrong since clearly the majority thinks being a prick is funny.

As for Amanda, maybe the grandparents are just jerk wads like Justin above, or maybe they are like many others, whom update their FB/twitter/blog with phony posts about how awesome and loving they are when behind closed doors they are pretty much the total opposite of a “good” person, for attention, or because they’re delusional. Usually it’s a combination of both.

CMJ

You could give me approximately a million of those mass-produced “vintage” Paris Cat posters and I would still think it was better than an umbilical cord handing above the mantle.

KarenMS

Oh whatever. Kids are dumb and hysterical and we love them despite of and because of it. Such a leap to “ignorant, selfish, neglectful parent.” And so ignorant of the fact that there are real neglectful parents out there who aren’t there to soothe their upset child, while simultaneously laughing to themselves about it.

Bobais

Ah, yes! As I neglected to mention, of course, there are worse parents then those that insult their own children and call it humor, I’m the ignorant one. Thank you for pointing it out.
I forgot to mention world hunger too. I guess I’m unaware people are starving.

What an excellent point you’ve made.

I guess I’m the fool as I don’t equate lacking motor skills to stupidity. Shame on me for not laughingly mocking people. I’m evil like that.

I have no idea what this is or what it’s intended to mean or refer to. Congrats.

Karen Milton

It’s really not a surprise that you don’t know what that face means.

pineapplegrasss

I have to agree that I thought it was quite rude the way she mocked her own child and called it stupid too.

VA Teacher

“it”? How rude! (a la Stephanie Tanner)

Allyson_et_al

It? Also, I think Justin is probably a man.

Bobais

Thank you for getting my point. I appreciate you sharing that you agree. It’s not easy to stand up in a crowd of bashers, even online.

I absolutely have a wicked sense of humor, however being verbally abused as a form of entertainment, directly to my face or behind my back, I find to be destructive. I don’t appreciate it being done to me, having already spent my childhood enduring it, nor do I find it funny when I witness others doing it.

A laugh. Sure. A child struggling in their clothes is adorable and worthy of a little giggle after they’re soothed. Calling them stupid behind their back, especially to entertain others, is not.

Clearly and sadly this is not the thinking of the majority, which explains a hell of a lot about this world.

pineapplegrasss

no its not lol and I got my own downvotes too. its just the internet And a few days later there was another story about similar things posted online that were ‘wrong’ lol some people just need to be told what to think.

KarenMS

It actually was an excellent point. You called this man speaking in a hyperbolic way a neglectful parent. Way to downplay real neglect. This is why CPS is flooded with nonsense calls that keep children who need real help from getting it. Because people like you can’t separate a REAL bad parent from one who just has a different sense of humor than you.

brebay

They’re definitely a good way to ensure that your kids go play at someone else’s house and you don’t get stuck being the house all the kids converge on; so, not totally useless.

Gangle

When my kid brother was a little kid he somehow got his big head stuck in between to bars of a playpen. Of course, he was upset, and of course my mother rushed to save him (it didn’t take much.. she just tilted his head and he just slipped out) and comforted him. But it was still funny as hell. We still laugh about it today because he was an adorable, weird kid that was always getting stuck in the most exasperating ways that no other kid would do. He is the baby of the family, and we still all gush over him and pamper him, and the teasing is affectionate. He is hardly the result of ignorant, selfish and neglectful parents.

Karen Milton

So we’re supposed to respond with caring patience every time our kids do anything boneheaded? Because no. Not everything they do needs to be treated with utmost seriousness and validation, because sometimes stupid is just stupid. My dad’s motto was “you’d better learn to laugh at yourself, because if you don’t everyone else will do it for you”. I’ve taught my kids the same – last year in grade 7 my son tripped during his school play in front of a few hundred people. He got up, made a flourishing bow and swanned dramatically off the stage like he’d meant to do it. Nobody made fun of him because he beat them to it. There’s no need to be so serious and hand-holding all the time, the world doesn’t work like that.

Allyson_et_al

My son did almost the exact same thing in his 3rd grade play. It was hilarious, and he pulled it off as an intentional pratfall. Maybe we’re related?

Karen Milton

Probably!

Bobais

I didn’t say that nor imply it. I laugh at myself all the time. You’ve clearly missed my point.

Karen Milton

No, I understood your point. I just think it’s ridiculous.

Allyson_et_al

I praise my kids regularly for their intelligence and talents, but when they do something hilariously stupid, I’m going to laugh. A couple of months ago, my son did something particularly boneheaded (I can’t recall what, exactly), and I couldn’t help teasing him a little. I told him, “Sweetie, that’s how I show my love.” He deadpanned, “By crushing my spirit?” He’s 10. It was (as he meant it to be) one of the funniest things he’s ever said. I’m proud of the fact that I’m raising my kids to have a sense of humor about themselves. I truly believe it will serve them better in life than a constant stream of sympathy, understanding, and humorlessness. (BTW, they also get sympathy and understanding from me when they need it, but come on– we’re talking about pajama problems here, not heartbreak!)

FormerlyKnownAsWendy

Mine too. My oldest is hella quick with the witty comebacks.

whiteroses

Reading “phony posts” on Facebook is a lot better than seeing private family business aired in public, where everyone can see it. If someone’s a real friend, they know what’s going on with me. If I’m using Facebook just to catch up with you, then you really don’t need to know that (untrue example) my best friends’ stepgrandmother called me a bitch.

If you have such an issue with whoever it is, call them out IRL. Otherwise, it’s kind of cowardly. Unless you’re a teenager, you should be able to actually look them in the face.

Bobais

I’m generalizing. It was an example of something destructive I witnessed a few times in the past. Would you like proof and dates or a ride on my back? I’m far from a coward and never have backed away from calling out a jerk, hence my original post and several replies.

There are so many responses here that overlooked my point and made it into some mamby pamby coddle the children of the world. Thanks for all the wrong assumptions, it says a lot.

Good grief… I’m serious? Ha! Loving all the fill-in between-my-words with whatever thing you can accuse just because I struck a nerve.

whiteroses

You were generalizing- so was I. I’ve experienced the destruction of family relationships in real time because someone posted something on Facebook that they shouldn’t have.

You didn’t strike a nerve with me. I don’t tend to take the Internet all that seriously. What you are doing is giving yourself far too much credit, since you seem to think that you can truly bother a stranger to whom your opinions don’t matter all that much by using the power of the Internet.

brebay

Amanda loves her daughter so much she calls her “it.”

Kay_Sue

I noticed that also…methinks she is less worried about attention her child is not receiving and more worried about the attention Amanda is not receiving….

Ginny

Amanda confuses me. How can the grandparents have never met her daughter but see her once a year? Am I reading it wrong and missing something or is Amanda an idiot?

JLH1986

I read it as his parents were divorced (the bf/gf post) which leads me to believe one of the grandparents has never met the child and one sees the child once a year.

Ginny

That makes sense. I missed the “or” between the a and b. Thanks for clearing that up.

SusannahJoy

Yeah I had to reread that a few times.

dy

I had to reread it to make sure I understood what her problem was. Answer: she’s a raging twat.

Zettai

I would get an umbilical framed just to gross out my husband for the rest of his life.

But seriously, I think I puked out of my nose a little.

DeliciousIroning

Ugh. Most people here are ragging on poor Amanda, but as a member of my husbands family I have nothing but hugs. I don’t know her story, but my husbands family goes on lockdown whenever they get upset leaving everyone else with no outlet to cure the problem and a bad case of passive-aggressive build up that ends up flaring up in inappropriate venues. Like a comment thread on Mommyish…

Laura

Wow. That first one is just… wow.

(Also, I am NOT the guilty party in the last one! Lol!)

SusannahJoy

While I agree that crowdsourcing for things like a home birth is tacky, I don’t see the person asking for money as the problem. If people didn’t give money, they’d stop asking. But if people are willing to donate money to her so she can have her dream home birth, why not ask?

But I seriously don’t get medical waste art.

Michelle Pittman

so if i ever get a hysterectomy i should NOT display my poor uterus in a shadowbox? but it carried my BABIES!!!!!!!

TattooedLittleMiss

I really think anyone’s to blame. I love crowdsourcing. I think it’s an awesome way of encouraging media that otherwise wouldn’t see the light of day, helping get justice in a largely unequal system, and helping causes I deeply believe in. But I hate when people abuse it. Having an expensive home birth doesn’t improve the world in any way. Same for throwing a wedding you can’t afford, having a sweet sixteen, etc. I think it shows a sense of entitlement on both the part of the beggar and the donor.

Natasha B

There really should have been a warning before the umbilical art! *shudder*
I am one of those people who deleted FB because of my mom. And I’m a grown up! Most days.

Kelly

I actually feel bad for Amanda. I have shit parents, my husband has a shit mom. As much as it hurt to know they don’t care whether we live or die, it hurt even more that they felt that way about our son.

While facebook is not a good outlet for that, I get how she feels. I really do.

Ann

There’s a website, ihatemyinlaws.com, you can vent and vent and vent and it’s totally anonymous. Plus you get to read about other peoples crappy families!

Kelly

That’s awesome, I’ll have to check it out. Thanks!

Betty

Totally a blessing in disguise!!

Michelle Pittman

well now i totally want to have a hysterectomy just so i can display my uterus (or ovaries or whatever else they hack out of me) in a super classy shadowbox…

Williwaw

Ooh, you could add other body parts as they’re removed…appendix, tonsils, gallbladder, even toenail clippings and hair…

Allyson_et_al

Damn! If only they’d had FB when I was 10, I could have made a lovely display of my appendix.

AugustW

I totally kept my tonsils in the freezer for a year before my new stepmom tossed them. I was pissed. I was also, like, 6 though.

MysteryDevil

Gah!! My step-sister set up a GoFundMe for her 3 year old “autistic” son. For starters, her son is not autistic!! He has been to several doctors and they all say she needs to stop babying him, he has no issues whatsoever. That hasn’t stopped her from setting up her fund page to buy stuff such as iPads, horse therapy sessions. Meanwhile, she bought HERSELF an iPad for her most recent birthday and pays for her own horse riding sessions every week!! Her oldest daughter also has thousands of dollars showered on her for her beauty pageants. I think that everyone is on to her tho because she’s had the page for 6 months plus and only raised $10 hahaha

Gangle

That is really weak, especially since he hasn’t had any formal diagnosis. It is a slap in the face to the families of anyone who are actually dealing with autism.

Kay_Sue

Especially since those families seem to have to fight for what resources are available. WTF is wrong with people?

Gangle

EXACTLY! My nephew has Asperger Syndrome and when first diagnosed it was near impossible just to even find out what resources were even available. Our family is lucky in that we live in a pretty big town, so we have programs etc that smaller places do not, and that he had a teacher who was well educated about kids on the spectrum. I can only imagine how tough it is for kids and their parents battling with even more ‘extreme’ diagnosis’s and in more regional areas. I hate it when people just choose to self-diagnose. It makes less of a real neurological difference that many kids struggle with… and then to actually have the nerve to beg for money over it… just yuck!

AugustW

It is incredibly frustrating. I don’t have hardly any money (I’m in school, not working currently, and living off of savings) but my daughter has a sizable trust fund that my father left her. Because of this, she can’t be on SSDI, even though she qualifies every other way but financially. AND because it’s a trust, she can’t access it until she’s 18 anyway.
So we’re punished for having money we can’t use, and meanwhile we can’t afford the services she needs, because of this theoretical money.

Gangle

That is horrible! And there is no way to access even a portion of the money for the sake of providing your daughter with services and programs to help her develop and grow? That must be so infuriating!

AugustW

My daughter actually is on the spectrum and there is no way in hell I would expect someone else to pay for her assistive tools. If there is a financial need, they should apply for SSDI.

scooby23

I think #5 is one of the worst. If Brad is old enough to have armpit hair, then Brad is most likely old enough to have friends/classmates/bullies on Facebook, unfortunately. There are a BUNCH of too-young kids on Facebook. I think Laura is setting up poor Brad for some serious bullying, if he isn’t already getting bullied for what ever else Laura is presumably already posting about him.

MammaSweetpea

I’m wondering how or why Brad stood still for his mothe to TAKE THE PIC OF HIS PIT. My son, were I to ever consider doing something so intrusive, would be smacking me away.

A friend of mine has spent the day posting updates every time his child vomits. (6 so far, apparently.) I’m just grateful he hasn’t posted pics.

Ashley

Yet.

Whatwhatque

My SIL’s baby is sick but you know what she did instead of post graphic descriptions (or pictures!) of his puke? She sent out an email to just a few people who would care (me, my husband, their parents and grandparents, etc.) about how he’s been sick. No graphic descriptions even then, just the facts. Or she’ll post questions on her PRIVATE parents facebook group. It’s almost like she remembers before she had a baby and how much she didn’t need to know the details of other people’s sick babies!

mewmew34

Agreed. There is one person I’m friends with on Facebook that I’ve considered putting on mute in the past, because she insists on telling everyone on facebook every time one of her kids hurls or does something else gross. Thankfully she hasn’t posted pics yet, either.

Alanna Jorgensen

I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying at Justin’s update, as this is a frequent occurrence at my house.

Teal

Why would a mom take pictures of her kid’s armpit hair? Couldn’t the kid try to resist that? And what’s the deal with keeping umbilical cords? It’s medical waste, people!

RCIAG

That was my exact thought too, WHY!?!?!?!?

MammaSweetpea

That last one hurt my feelings on behalf of the child in question. What kind of parent makes a comment like that about their child?? “I’m sorry you’re too stupid to put on pyjamas”?? Really??

notorious

Oh geeze. It’s not like he said it TO her, he just said it privately after the fact. And it was hilarious. Sometimes kids are dumb. They are just learning, after all. It’s OK to have a sense of humor about it.

MammaSweetpea

I’m not saying she shouldn’t have a sense of humour about it. I just don’t like to use words like “stupid” or “dumb” when referring to children, even if it’s behind their back.

Roberta

First of all, the parent didn’t say it to the kid, so don’t worry. And secondly, as a kid I would either walk into a glass door, fall off a hammock, or some other stupidly uncoordinated thing on such a regular basis, that my parents would just roll their eyes and laugh after checking for a concussion. A sense of humor is good. With it a kid doesn’t freak out when they do something stupid. They laugh and move on.

Betty

I ran into the back of a car once when I was a child…I can’t remember whether I was on a bike or walking. I guess I did it more than once. It was a stupid thing to do multiple times. I haven’t done it lately, but I do stupid things like put the hairbrush in the dishwasher and try to comb someone’s hair with a dirty glass. I spend a lot of time laughing at myself, and also a lot of time squirming in embarrassment. Laughter is definitely the more fun thing to do.

I was with you til then end. Justin sounds like an a-hole. It’s not ok to call your child “stupid”, ever. I bet it’s gonna be great fun growing up with that jerk face for a father.

Karen Milton

My kids have been known to put pails on their heads and then see how hard they can ram them together before it hurts. That is 100% stupid right there. They’re not actually stupid by a long shot and I make sure to tell them that, but come on. Let’s call a spade a spade.

kim

No, I’m sticking to my comment. Kids do lots of things are aren’t a good idea, (as do most adults)… if that doesn’t make them stupid, don’t say it. That word doesn’t need to be planted in a child’s mind. It’s judgmental, mean, and bully-ish. It would be far more productive – and kind – to say something like “that wasn’t a good idea, was it?” Being insulted and put down for making mistakes and using poor judgment is mean, no matter who it’s coming from or directed to. Like I said – it’s not ok to call your child stupid – *EVER* – even when you’re using teh weak excuse of “calling a spade a spade”.

http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com Helly

Reading comprehension, much? He never actually CALLED his kid stupid to her face.

kim

Thank you for your (juvenile and rude) concern about my reading comprehension. However, I think that your point is irrelevant. First, it doesn’t say that he didn’t, in fact, say it to his face. Second, he posted it online, thereby speaking ill of his chlld to the world, and making it exist forever … his child will eventually be able to read, if he/she can’t already, and could see that post, or at least it could be referred to by someone who read it to the child. (That was so funny, when your dad said you were stupid for …) Finally, I think it’s crappy to even think about your child that way. If that’s what you’re thinking, are you sure it’s not reflected in how you’re acting?
I would just like to point out that those opposed to my comment are defending calling one’s own child stupid, either directly or indirectly. How sad.

Karen Milton

It’s official.

Karen Milton

Calling your kids stupid as an obviously hyperbolic facebook joke among adults is a far cry from calling them stupid to their faces, which I would never support as it would indeed be mean. If you read the original status again you’ll note that the commenter didn’t insult his child to her face either. I refuse to believe there are parents out there who have not viewed their toddler putting applesauce on the cat and not questioned whether their child is entirely “all there”. Some people use humour to replace frustration. Sometimes you just have to laugh, because it’s either that or explode. My daughter once woke me up in the night weeping because our cats do not have any socks. Another time she woke me up saying she couldn’t sleep because her hair was too cruddy. I didn’t tease her to her face, I just comforted her and tucked her back in, but you can bet your ass I made statuses the next morning about how funny and ridiculous she was. You can call it weak, whatever that means, but it’s how many of us function – somewhat acerbic humour in place of irritation.

Sparksinky

Oh man, number 6 took me back to an old childhood memory. I went to the bathroom and realized I had accidentally put on a new pair of underwear over my old underwear instead of changing them out properly. I cried too. Kid tragedies, man.