Summoning strength with every smile

These days, members of one local family are hugging one another a bit tighter every chance they get, channeling all of their strength for one member in the midst of a brave battle.

Known as Bekka by most, Rebekah Buedel, a 32-year-old single mother of three (Sophia, Scarlett and Stella) was tested this summer when she was told what she thought was behind her had returned — she had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, which had spread to her liver and spine.

She was informed of her life expectancy — 21 months.

This is her second time around in the fight against the disease. Her first diagnosis had been stage 2 breast cancer back in October 2013.

She had been in remission since 2015.

“While there is a history on both sides of my family, I found out that I do not carry the BRCA breast cancer susceptibility genes,” Buedel says. “What caused me to get checked before my first diagnosis was two small lumps in my right breast, which traveled to my lymph nodes and created a large mass in my armpit about the size of a golf ball.

“Since the second diagnosis, life has been difficult. But on one hand, I had answers as to why I was having pain in my body and the illnesses I had been struggling with.”

Buedel had been dealing with many months of nausea and pain, but was subconsciously avoiding the idea of that unspoken fear, as November of last year brought her youngest into the world.

“Cancer was the last place my mind wanted to go,” she says.

Buedel’s daily life since the second diagnosis has become a combination of beautiful memories with loved ones and moving through a myriad of medical appointments, weakness, exhaustion and illness.

Close friend Toni Daniel is one of several coordinating a benefit later this month for Buedel and her daughters — ages 9, 7 and 11 months.

“Seeing the frustration of her daily struggles — for health coverage, available treatments, and little answers given as to her questions of how or why — seeing her health decline, seeing the sadness in her eyes. It’s all very hard to witness,” Daniel says. “She is a fighter, she is strong and her outlook is ‘unmatchably’ positive. She has hard days that bring her down, and she hates that her girls have to go through this with her a second time.

“And still, when you see her, Bekka is smiling and does what she can — she keeps her spirits high. Her emotional resilience and positive outlook keep my spirits up too, for these three beautiful girls and their beautiful mom.”

A certified divemaster, Buedel had always led an active and fit lifestyle. She also served in the Army from 2007 to 2010 with the 102nd Company at Fort Campbell, Ky.

“She was always hiking, swimming, and doing all kinds of things with her two older daughters,” Daniel says. “They now see her down, sick, unable to eat. And it’s hard for them to remember that Mom can’t ride bikes to the park now, or go to the pool or the zoo.

“You never imagine losing your friends to illness in their early 30s. Maybe that’s naive, but when it comes on so fast and time is so short, then you look at her young children and it’s just hard to process. One even considers their own mortality, your health, your own children.

“There are people that say things like ‘so-and-so lived six years past their diagnosis,’ and they try to make you look at Bekka’s less than two-year diagnosis as ‘hopeful.’ I am grateful now for every breath we get to share together. I have a six-year-old daughter of my own; I look at her and cannot think about a suitable amount of time with her that seems ‘hopeful’ — except for forever.”

Being a single mom, Buedel admits, makes it a bit harder.

“But I have a great group of friends and family who have pitched in to help. My mother, sister and several dedicated friends have pulled together to make sure my children are always cared for, that I get to my appointments, and to make sure we are continuing to make happy memories and are present in each moment. I treat every day as its own,” she says.

That support includes her parents, Jeff and Royal Evans of Bethalto, and a sister, Andrea.

“It is very important. I have three daughters, and I want them to be healthy and aware of how to take care of their health. Just as important is to be aware and know how to reduce or prevent breast cancer, to get checked and to not put it off become it seems like something small when it could be worse.”

The Bowling for Bekka fundraising event to help with final expenses will be 1-5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 20, at Bowl Haven Lanes, 3003 Washington Ave. in Alton.

In addition to a nine-pin double tournament, there will be a live DJ, silent auction, food and drink specials and more. Two-person teams can register for $30, or singles for $15. Check-in time for the tournament is noon, and bowling will begin at 1 p.m. Silent auction winners will be announced at 4 p.m. For more information, contact Daniel at (618) 540-6189.

Daniel is hoping the community will come out to Bowl Haven and show their support, to help “spread love to her friend, a young mother with three beautiful little girls.”

There is an added opportunity to help with the Buedel family’s needs and expenses through a GoFundMe page set up by friends and family.