I offer sex and relationship consulting, and I’m happy to say that I’ve been getting more women, LGBT folks, and couples these days. Historically, most of the people who have sought me out for my unique services have been men who crave female energy.

The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:

1. He’s a married man in his 50’s or 60’s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)

2. He/she/they have some sort of sexual issue they want to work through, such as inexperience, anxiety, or orgasm/penis problems (Erectile Dysfunction is a common complaint – it can get complex when you heap social conditioning and anxiety on top of the natural aging process.)

3. He/she/they are interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, not getting laid, or curious about alternative lifestyle options (non-monogamy, BDSM, sex work, etc.)

4. He has a fetish and is ashamed/seeking an outlet

5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck

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My goal is to offer tools, connections, and non-traditional options so that the people seeking me out can reach their goal of becoming happier and healthier. My approach is unconventional, and I get referrals from licensed sex therapists. I’m pretty well connected and have a strong network. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!

Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients:

TOYS!! GLORY!!

I share my human sexuality checklist with them and encourage them to fill it out, either solo or with a partner. They can share it with me if they’d like. I also tell couples about this free nifty online tool called Mojo Upgrade that lets you safely discover shared fantasies. (If Mojo Upgrade website is down, you can try this new app called iPassion.)

If they live in St. Louis, I encourage them to get involved with SEX+STL. It’s important to meet like-minded people and have spaces for discussing sexuality.

I recommend they shop for toys online, or visit the Hustler on Natural Bridge Rd or a local couples-friendly adult toy store.

There is some stigma associated with visiting an “adult toy store”, but if you can get past that you may find it really enjoyable. We first went to find those silly gifts for a bridal shower… my wife didn’t want to go alone, so I reluctantly went with her. We had a hoot looking at all the crazy stuff available. Kat decided that some of the vibrators deserved a try. And we found some books and videos from long ago that we both remembered. I went by myself once to find a gift for her, and discovered that I was much more uncomfortable shopping as a single guy than when she was with me. So get your partner and go… and have fun.