May 7, 2010

Mother’s Day and Tough love

I wanted to dedicate this entry to mothers everywhere, especially to the Burmese mothers out there. In America, we recognize mothers for the care and love they give, by celebrating Mother’s day, on the first Sunday of May. However in Burma, there is no such holiday. Although many may argue that Mother’s Day is just another commercialized holiday, there is no denying that Mother’s Day should be celebrated more often because of the great things that mothers have frequently provided for their children, families and societies. Mothers are great contributors to society- volunteering at school or the community; more importantly, they do their best to raise good children to be good products of societies. ( Oprah always mentions that mothers have the hardest and most difficult jobs- giving lives and raising children to become wonderful adults apart of society.)

There’s no other job more difficult than being a mom. Mothers are selfless creatures who give everything to their children and sacrifice so much for the sake of the family to grow. On Sunday, Mothers will be celebrated for their maternal instincts which include their generosity. There is a stereotype on Asian mothers; they are often praised for the care they give to their children, but they are also criticized for being too harsh on their children.The Burmese mothers I know, came here for their children’s educational and employment opportunities, and they have given up a lot for their family’s future.

When I was younger, my mother would scold my brothers and me ( frequently) while she repeated the story of how we came to the U.S. She would say, ” You kids should know how to behave, and you should be very thankful. I came to the U.S. with only 2 luggage in my hand and 3 kids by my side. We came here for you- for your opportunities. Now go study. ( My dad was there too when we came to the U.S., and I’m pretty sure he was carrying a luggage or two as well. But she forgets to mention that; I always let her get away with that- her version sounds better anyway.)”

So my brothers and I would feel sympathetic, and say sorry to each other as we got on with our studies. The weekends were for extra schooling while my parents worked, and my mom always managed our calendars and itineraries. Although we would not be happy with our schedules then, as I reminisce my childhood now, I really am appreciative for what we were given. We were pushed because she believed in us. My mother was always the hardest on me, because I was her only girl, ( I’ll save that topic for a future blog entry) but oddly enough, I understand her better now and our relationship is great today. I was punished by my mom often, but with my dad I got away with anything. She would tell him that he was crippling me by giving in too much. My mom supported her children and gave us tough love as they would say. As I’ve talked to my other Burmese/ Asian friends about my childhood and my ” strict mom”, I’d hear the same response and stories from them. They would all say that they had the same childhood and the same mother as well.

Even today, I still hear the same story from my mom- of coming to America with 2 luggage. This time, as I’ve gotten older ( and wiser I’d like to believe), I secretly like hearing the stories. I always love seeing my mom smile when she compares an old picture of the 3 of us ( my older brother, my young brother and me) to our picture now.

Please don’t get me wrong. I believe that there are great mothers out there regardless of race, sex, or religion. Due to the blog’s name, I concentrated mostly on the tough love of moms from Burma and Asia. (Hope I didn’t offend anyone.) So on Sunday, I hope you celebrate the beauty, the loveliness and the modesty of mothers around the world. In the U.S., this year, Mother’s day lies on Sunday, the 9th, but that doesn’t mean Mother’s Day shouldn’t be every day. 🙂 Let me know what you’re doing for Mother’s Day.