The Filipino Maid’s Guide to Accepting Criticisms

Nobody enjoys listening to criticisms but, as cliché as it sounds, we can never avoid it. We can only use it for our betterment as a person. For Indonesian maids and Filipino maids, comments about how you perform tasks or take care of your employer’s loved ones are unavoidable. What is the right thing to do when you, as a maid, receive a criticism?

Eden Grace Maids Agency would like to help the helpers improve in the area of accepting criticisms, responding politely, and how to use the employer’s comments to improve performance in the workplace.

Here are the things the helper needs to do when being criticized:

1. Listen with an open mind.
Have an attitude of learning and listening beyond the rude comment. Always look for a pinch of the truth of whatever criticisms there is. The best thing to do is to filter it and only look for the gist of the statement. Remove the emotional content of it and ask yourself to look for the facts behind it.

When the employer said: You have been lazy these past few days! You always wake up late!

What the Indonesian maid and Filipino maid must do:
It’s upsetting for someone to dismiss you immediately as “lazy”, but how about recognizing the fact that you’ve been waking up late in the morning? Maybe sometimes, you’ve used your phone too much past midnight that it interrupted your rest time, you must know that a change within yourself must be implemented. If you woke up late because the baby needs your help late at night, then it’s just fair to ask the employer to listen to your explanation too.

2. “Ma’am, what do you suggest?”
When the Indonesian maid or Filipino maid hears criticism, it’s easy for them to snap back defensively. However, the awkward silence after a rude comment is the perfect way to ask the employer for a suggestion.

When the employer said: Have you lost your mind? Don’t feed the child too many candies!

What the Indonesian maid and Filipino maid must do:
Again, omit the “have you lost your mind” part since it’s merely an expression. Then, answer your employer politely, “He keeps crying if I don’t give him candies. Ma’am, what do you suggest me to do?”

The employer may know a better way to distract the child from eating many sweets. After all, she knows her child better than the maid does.

3. Postpone your response.
If you feel angry at the moment and you know you can’t say something nice when you open your mouth, hold your tongue. As an Indonesian maid or Filipino maid, you don’t need to engage in a conversation now. What has been said cannot be unsaid and it would be better to think it over and ask to discuss the matter later on.

4. Assess the intention of the person.
Who said the criticism is a big deal! Corrections and comments about caregiving, for example, must come from someone who has acquired knowledge in massage therapy, perineal care, nursing, caregiving, etc. If the comment didn’t come from a professional, the Indo maid or Filipino maid may still consider it especially when it comes from someone very close to the patient. If they do care, you don’t have to doubt them and their intention.

When the employer said: Letting Ah Kong tire himself in this exercise is stupid. He can’t even use his knees without hurting himself!

What the Indonesian maid and Filipino maid must do:
Ask yourself, “Does the critic have enough knowledge about the therapy?” If yes, consider his suggestions. If no, politely tell him how the therapy helps Ah Kong. Together, you can both figure out what’s best for the elderly.

5. Respond Politely
It’s important for the Indonesian maid or Filipino maid, despite the nature of their work, to still maintain professionalism even after hearing criticisms. Respond to your employer in a polite way, ask for more information on how you can improve in such area, and ask her to work with you so you can do the job well the next time around.

Are the criticisms empty? It is still important to respond politely even if it’s downright hurtful or not helpful for your job at all. The next time you hear such criticism, be polite, neutral, and conclusive.

When the employer said: You’ve been neglecting your duties! The living room is messy and toys are all over the house.

What the Indonesian maid and Filipino maid must do:You know for a fact that the child is a child he likes to play around. No matter how you organize the house every day, he still finds a way to scatter stuff and that alone makes you upset. Calm down. Count one to ten and tell your employer, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve considered cleaning after his mess yesterday but he likes to play all day and there are more important things to do. Will you help me convince him to play inside his room instead?”

6. Know when to stand up for yourself.
What we hate about criticisms is that sometimes they aren’t constructive. They were said to attack you as a person instead of helping you improve for the better. We completely understand how you feel bad in hearing something like that. When criticisms became an everyday thing and started to get abusive, it’s time to stand up for yourself.

You’ve tried everything you can do as an Indo maid or Filipino maid but only your flaws are pointed, ask your employer to help you devise new solutions. It’s never too late to sit down and tell each other your grievances in order to make amends for it. Don’t give up!

A helper’s job is a journey full of improvement. Don’t be immediately discouraged when you hear one!

Eden Grace Maids Agency aims to bring useful tips in every situation. The agency is our helping hand not only through maid services but also through giving us necessary information that can remedy our household problems.