The 23 Most Ridiculous Deaths of 2012

List Criteria: Bizarre deaths that happened in the year of 2012.

Bizarre deaths were in no short supply in 2012. All through the year people were finding weird, crazy, unbelievable ways to die and these are the best/worst of the bunch. This list of the craziest deaths of the year includes bizarre instances in the US, UK, Brazil, China, Japan, and everywhere in between. No insane way to die has been left out of this list, so read on to find out why your year, no matter how bad, was better than some.

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1

Three People Fight to the Death in Karaoke Dispute

"Ugh, I swear to god, if I hear one more person sing Journey tonight, I am gonna kill someone."

Next up on the mic is Barry with "Don't Stop Believing"!

"Oh, that's it, I'ma stab a bitch."

Stabbing someone for a poor choice at karaoke? Too much? Not in Xi'an China.

On Qixi, the Chinese Valentine's Day, a noodle shop owned by a man called Mr. Yun was the site of a double murder over control of the microphone in what was intended to be a light-hearted night of crooning with his family.

Yun's 4-year-old son was on the stage, belting out tunes and refusing to give the other attendees a turn to sing. Yun was indulging the child, who the other party-goers were calling a "little emperor" (a reference to Chinese parents' special attention to the one child they're allowed to have per Chinese law) and getting increasingly agitated with the situation.

Rather than gong him off the stage, which many of the finer American karaoke bars will do when a patron is insufferable, two of the young boy's uncles attacked Yun, kicking him mercilessly until he was on the ground, unable to fight them off.

In the midst of the fracas Yun's nephew, who worked at the shop, picked up not the mic, but A MEAT CLEAVER and hacked the two men attacking his uncle to death.

Next time maybe the rest of the family will be smart enough to just walk across the street and rent a booth when the "little emperor" of the family can't sing enough Bieber.

Jose Melena had been working at the Bumble Bee Tuna plant in Santa Fe Springs, CA for six years when his on-the-job satisfaction took a monumental turn for the worse one afternoon in October.

Melena's job at the seafood processing plant was to load baskets of canned product into the pressure cooker and remove them with a pallet jack when they had finished processing. At some point during the transfer process, Melena became trapped in the container and was cooked to death.

Upon discovering Melena was in the steamer machine, emergency personnel were summoned, but the man could not be saved.

Known ways to cure the hiccups: holding breath, drinking a glass of water, punching the afflicted person in the stomach, shooting the afflicted in the face.

Wait, that last one sounds a little extreme; does it really work? As a matter of fact, it does (mostly because getting shot in the face kills you, but maybe it also really freaks you out and cure the hiccups before you die).

Sadly, Pfc Isaac Lawrence Young was the unwitting guinea pig for that “shot in the face” theory recently when a fellow soldier stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas pulled out a gun, just to scare the hiccups away, and ended up discharging the weapon in the general direction of Young’s face.

The incident went down in the men’s living room where they, and a third soldier, were watching Sunday night football and drinking. Pfc. Patrick Edward Myers, who was probably a little overly-excited after seeing both Texas teams win their games earlier in the day, took out a handgun to help Young triumph over his temporary affliction, but ended up killing him before he could be transported to a nearby field where a helicopter was waiting to take him to a trauma hospital.

Myers is currently awaiting trial for manslaughter.

4

Man is Killed, Dismembered, and Sent to Local Schools

When Jun Lin said he wanted to go back to school, he probably didn't envision it this way.

Lin, a Chinese university student, was murdered and dismembered by adult film actor Luka Magnotta (his reported lover), who sent boxes containing different parts of Lin to politicians in Ottawa and to two schools in Vancouver.

The body parts were put together with Lin's murder when police found his severed head in a Montreal Park.

Magnotta fled from Canada after the murders, but he was picked up in an internet cafe in Berlin, Germany where he was Googling articles about himself.

Since the following death occurred in China's haiku city, here are three lines about this man's death:

No, you can't park here

Hey, those are my balls. Hands off

Grip like vice, I'm dead

Here's how it went down: this woman drives into the city to pick her kids up from school and tries to park her scooter (yes, she was going to put multiple children on a scooter. Totes nominated for The 20 Absolute Worst Parents of 2012) in front of a man's shop. The man says no, you can't park here, they fight a little, she calls her brother and husband to join her in the dispute, things escalate further, and when she realizes he's not going to allow the scooter to stay,

Now, we all know that when looking for a credible, reliable source on topics like life and philosophy, we should turn to the nearest rapper and ask his advice. If you had asked aspiring rapper Ervin McKinness for his advice on the topic of driving while drunk, he would have told you “Definitely a bad idea, son. Designated drivers are your keys to big pimpin’”.

Ok, he would never have said that. Had you Tweeted that same question to him, though, you would have seen this take on the topic:

You had half a bottle of Henny and you have to get across town? #F**kIt, son! What’s the worst that could happen drifting 120 MPH around corners?

Oh, right. Death. Death could happen.

McKinness, known as Jew'elz and Inkyy in the music community that had recently awarded him a recording deal, never got a chance to make any music professionally because 21 minutes after he said “f**k it” to driving drunk, the SUV he was in skidded into a wall and killed all five of the car’s occupants, including the would-be rapper.

Maybe YOLTM (You Only Live Twenty Minutes) would have been a more appropriate hashtag?

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