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Topic: S.A.D., depression, isolation, etc. (Read 1085 times)

If you could say a simple prayer for me, I need all the help I can get.

I'm struggling to do my part.

I am laid off for the winter and occassionally find myself plunged into the hell of despair. Even when I refuse to engage the thoughts, there is a lingering sense of sadness; Even, it often happens, in the midst of prayer.

I struggle also with a profound sense of loneliness. I try to regard this positively, to focus my attention on prayer, reading, my work (when I have work) and loving those around me, but the stark fact remains: I truly have no friends, apart from my spiritual father and my immediate family. My parish is at a decent remove, and most parishioners are scattered around the more immediate environs of the parish, so liturgy and coffee hour is typically the only time I see or speak to another Christian.

Perhaps it is a question of attitude, in which case pray for the correction of my attitude and the strengthening of my faith. But both prayer and practical or spiritual advice are appreciated.

""Love is a dangerous thing. It will crush you if you trust it. But without it you can never be whole. Love crucifies, but love saves. We will either be saved together with love, or damned alone without it." Selam, +GMK+

The Lord hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;remember all thy offerings, and accept thy burnt sacrifice.

Grant thee according to thine own heart, and fulfil all thy counsel.We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners:the Lord fulfil all thy petitions.

Now know I that the Lord saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heavenwith the saving strength of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.They are brought down and fallen: but we are risen, and stand upright.

There is no one who doesn’t struggle with sorrow/depression (thlipsis).

The sources of this are various.

Sorrows afflict body and soul.

Sorrows can afflict man with sickness, but they can also ripen and beautify him. They can make him see his neighbour with greater forgivingness, understanding and sympathy.

Patience and hope bring comfort in sorrows. They can lead to goodness, to repentance. There is no one who didn’t experience sorrows, suffering, temptations and trials.

Like dry rot, sorrow consumes the inward man. The aim of sorrows in our life is not that God is pleased to punish and torment people like a sadistic father, but our correction, our betterment, our attunement towards heaven. Sorrows can become a way for us to meet the living God.

People have loved darkness and not light – that is why they are tormented. Sometimes sorrows chase away idleness, leisureliness and indifference. They can help focus man on his own self, functioning as a means to take charge of one’s recovery, of heart-searching, self-analysis, self-knowledge and self-reproach (automempsia).

The many and various amenities can make one slack, unenthusiastic and ruinous. One may think that he is happy, but have an unfulfilled joy inside nevertheless.

Genuine coping with the sorrows of life will bring the victory of courage. Sorrows can bring us closer to God. God loves and tests us like schoolchildren in order to help, enlighten, correct. The sorrowful can also become more sympathetic with those who suffer and more brother-loving.

Let us not add affliction to affliction and sorrow to sorrow. According to Basil the Great, it is not illness, destitution, economical ruin, poverty and deprivation that are evil, but sin alone. God’s wisdom takes wealth away from those who use it wrongly, unjustly, greedily and inhumanely.

It allows illnesses to afflict the body in order to make it humble, to give health to the soul, to prevent it from getting stuck in sin. It takes away, regardless of our sorrow, those for whom it discerns that their best hour has come. Let’s not pick a fight with God. He knows well what he’s doing. We do not know the salutary plan, nor the God of solutions. Plenty of times the remedy is bitter, so we refuse to take it – yet, it alone provides the cure.

Sin is the main and greatest source of sorrows. Sin oppresses, seduces, binds, imprisons, reduces to misery.

God will not judge all who sinned, but all who did not repent. Humble thought, prayer, patience make the burden of sorrows lighter.

Let us then not allow sorrows to multiply because of our fault. Let’s not have sorrow pile onto sorrow.

May the Lord have mercy, and lift the cloud of sadness that hovers over you.

Don't be sad....you've got dozens of friends right here! We're all here for you!

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Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.—St. Isaac of Syria

I hear ya on the SAD. Anything that goes wrong in these months is made all the worse by the time of year.

May the Good Lord help you with your attitude towards these things and strengthen your faith (as these are the only things in your control, so you were smart in talking about these) but more than that, may He take away all afflictions that beset you!

With regard to friends, are you able to get involved in volunteering or community projects--something to move you out of your familiar zone and meet other people in a way that accomplishes something good? In-person social contacts, even if they do not turn into actual friendships, are still important. Maybe you could also invite your parishioners over for socializations outside coffee hour. That's how I became friends with many people at my church--just by getting together for dinner.

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Quote from: GabrieltheCelt

If you spend long enough on this forum, you'll come away with all sorts of weird, untrue ideas of Orthodox Christianity.

Quote from: orthonorm

I would suggest most persons in general avoid any question beginning with why.

Symeon, the effect of SAD..its not easy, it amplifies certain emotions, i'm sure you know still keep that in mind when you do feel them. although you have valid reasons for the melancholy you feel the intensity can be because of the SAD.While you do continue with your efforts to meet friends in person. I am glad you have found this forum, its always good to talk to likeminded people. and from what i have been reading of your posts you are a warm kind very sweet and smart person, who most people would be blessed to have as a friend. I want you to think about utilising the internet venue, to talk to people of your caliber,interest, and temperament. really sometimes even if you were to meet 100ths of folks in person, they might not be someone you can ever click with in fact for all its down sides the internet can have the potential to giveyou a chance to find friends you really have true affinity with rather than just the convenience of proximity.if you were to want to meet those you befriend on-line in person , that can also happen too you know, in this day and age where you can hang out with your friend miles away over weekends within hours. just something to think about as an additional option available to you...

May the Lord have mercy on you, and help you with all your needs my brother.

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To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!

Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

I wish you well. God help you. May I suggest though that church isn't the best place for socializing? After coming to America because I didn't know any people I too sor of depended on church for socializing . That went on for about probably a very good year. Then a series of events made me realize I should change that. And so I did. I met people at work, in pubs on the street etc. now I go to church more rarely but at least I do not do it for socializing purposes. For that I go to the bar or coffee shop. Two cents.

Thank you all for your prayers. I would say more, but I will limit myself to simply expressing gratitude; I am truly overwhelmed by the expression of kindness on this forum. I have taken all of your suggestions into consideration and for the present I am concentrating on patience. God is good!

"Thoughts are like airplanes flying in the air. If you ignore them, there is no problem. If you pay attention to them, you create an airport inside your head and permit them to land!" (Priestmonk Christodoulos Aggeloglou, Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain Mount Athos, Greece, 1998,pp. 29-30, 48)