Gerard Bulter from 300 signs autographs for fans!

Oh, the hot sticky days of Los Angeles summer… Sigh… Today none other than Mr. 300 himself, Gerard Butler, will be making a television talk show appearance. The lovely M’Lou Elkins is joining me today just for kicks. I always love having someone go with me, especially when it’s a long day like today. A hot long day like today I should add… Anyway, here we go!
3:02 p.m. – M’Lou got here about an hour ago and I’m joining her now. I brought her a couple burgers and a large coke. It’s so hot today, the ice has already melted in the soda… sigh… God bless sunscreen!

3:15 p.m. – There are about 20 people here today; he should arrive around 6:30 so we’re really early. But that’s what it takes sometimes. I brought my Gamer poster and I also brought my limited Edition 300 shield I got at comic con a couple years ago. It’s really big but quite cool.

3:43 p.m. – Oh great, security is moving the entire line to the other end of the ally. Ugh… This is going to be crappy, because they are just going to move us back here again… grrrrrr….

4:03 p.m. – We’re about 8th in line. We should be okay if everyone stays in formation… you just never know though.

4:22 p.m. – The sun is really killing me… This is the price you pay I guess… sigh…

4:46 p.m. – Oh shit, now they are putting the barricades back up… Crap! This means they are going to move the line again to the other side…

4:53 p.m. – Yep, now we are moving to the other end… everyone is yelling stay in line, stay in line… but there are people trying to cut, oh God what a pain in the ass.

5:01 p.m. – Okay, now security is telling us to only stand on one end of the barricade even though there are two set up. Like we are supposed to just put up an imaginary line and not stand there… oh god, sometimes people who have no power in their lives and get a job where they have a touch of power just go insane… It’s really sad.

5:19 p.m. – We convince the security guards to put up a double barricade where we can stand behind. My God.

5:31 p.m. – It’s getting really crowded in here now; getting this close with people is not my idea of fun. Thankfully M’Lou is here; otherwise I might breakdown and murder some small child that is standing behind me. No one in particular mind you, just the teenager burping behind me and rubbing my back and talking about sweat. Yes, no one in particular…

5:42 p.m. – The stinky armpit game has begun. Apparently, it’s played when one person smells of body odor and tries to rub it on one of their “friends.” Ah, the smelly armpit game, the joy’s of… nothing… there is nothing remotely interesting about the smelly armpit game. I HATE the smelly armpit game, and I might have to murder the smelly armpit kids.

5:51 p.m. – Ah that felt better. The venting. Someone just asked me if I played football, I said “No, I play hockey.” The kid said, “Oh, you must like the fight.” I replied…”Yes, Smelly armpit boy, yes.” Sigh… This is why I am never having kids…

6:01 p.m. – It should be anytime now and he will arrive. God I just hope he does it on the way in. Otherwise we’ll be waiting until like 9:00! Ugh…
6:12 p.m. – Nate Berkus from Oprah just showed up. Everyone yelled for him, but he just waved and walked off. Whatever!

6:34 p.m. – The gates are opening. It’s Gerard! He’s waving and everyone is yelling for him. He’s walking towards the stage door, but everyone keeps yelling for him. He finally turns around and comes over reluctantly. He starts at the other end and is quite charming. Talking to people and signing.

6:39 p.m. – Gerard is signing a lot at the top corner so hopefully he will actually come over this way. M’Lou has the Gamer poster at the ready, and I have my shield. We are going to try and get two Gamer posters signed, but who knows.
6:45 p.m. – Okay, here it comes. Gerard is coming this way, he just signed my shield, and oh crap he skipped M’Lou’s poster. She is not going to take that though and leans over and gets his attention. He looks over and signs her poster. Whoo hoo! She is trying for a second one, but he keeps going down the line… doh! There are like 60-70 people here now. Well, we got two, and I got a really nice signature on my shield which is what I really wanted so that’s cool. All in all a good day!

originally published by mike sametz as Mike Gets Around on www.mishmashmagazine.com