Finnair pilot: Dear passengers, this is your pilot speaking. I want to let you know that we are going to be taking an alternate route today for our direct flight to Finland. We will be flying over central Greenland to avoid the cloud of Icelandic ass.

–Tarmac JFK Airport

Overheard by: Eric Aho

Stegosaurus-haired boy on phone: Yeah it's on, uh, Bowie and Hewston.

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Ditzy bridge-and-tunnel girl picking up another one's trash: I should win the good sumarian award for this.

–Penn Station

Girl on cell: She stupid, I'll just get my GED!

–31st St

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