Thursday, 16 April 2015

Excavation of Truth

The excavation of any concept of truth can be a most arduous task as the idea of truth is viewed through many prisms of thought. A factual truth which I can share is that on April second of this year, 2015, as I sat at my computer, I felt a notable trimmer. The shaking of the building in which I live lasted maybe five or ten seconds. However, since, in a nearby community, one less than ten minutes away, such 3.3 or less earthquakes trimmers had been reported, with a fair amount of frequency. In the previous six months the mentioned community had at least three such reports. With that knowledge at hand, I did not panic or become frightened. I did whatever stop what I was doing on the computer, (probably playing online scrabble), long enough to call a neighbor who did not answer her phone, consequently, I returned to whatever I had been doing that day. That evening, I watch the news and the report of an earthquake ranging 3. something on the seismograph instrument was reported. Since I live on the ninth floor of a sixteen floor building, I wondered if I should have felt the trimmer's force more or less than someone living on the first floor. I did not ponder the location comparatives very long as I was somewhat unmoved by the incident.

The mysteries and wonders of nature are profoundly complicated, profusely exquisite, while being continuously miraculous. At this point, I may be a bit repetitive were a previous post is concerned but I once again want to share the events of a most exquisite and miraculous day in my life.

As a Mk-Ultra survivor during the periods of my programming there were no ordinary days. For me, awareness of a day could start at noon or perhaps at eight in the evening or perhaps, not at all. Since, during this period, I live in a place where there were no mirrors, my rudimentary visual concept of how I look vanished like the memories of my biological family and my birth name.

However, on this particular day, awareness seeped into consciousness as I heard phrases like, ' She's coming our of it.' "Act like she's been at the table all the time." Other statement made by the children who sat at the dining table where we were all seated when slowly, then suddenly, I became consciously aware of the day. Any conversation prior to my alertness, I had no concept regarding. Any jokes, or friendly banter, any affectionate remarks or family reports, nothing of what had occurred before my eyes opened were recorded in my mental space. What my mental space did record as I became a part of the day was other children smiling and talking at the table. Some of the conversational statement ground into my subconscious during the psycho-driving segment of my programming took life. Someone asked for the salt to be passed. A statement which had been often repeated in the massive amount of tapes which I had been forced to listen to continuously while in a sedated state. Other innocuous statements like where's the sugar or pass the bread were sometimes gigged from the mouths of the children at the table. The statements made were in voices familiar to me as they were the voices I heard on the tapes. I have surmised that using the voices of the children in the household was done so that once I was allowed to spend more time awake, these ordinary occurrences would seem familiar, also they would seem to have been occurring for a long period of time.

The only person seated at the table whose voice was not on the types and who had shown me compassion was not an immediate member of the family I was forced to live with, but, instead a first cousin who had come to live with the family for a period of time. For the purpose of this post let's call him, Chancy. In any event, once I was alert, I felt a little comfort at seeing him at the other end of the table directly in front of me. Chancy once warned me when he came into the apartment very early one morning finding me awake and seated on a platform opening that lead to the second floor of the apartment. I was seated directly in front of a long vertical window, watching the sunrise. Chancy warned me not to let the people who lived in the house know that I sometimes got out of bed without their knowledge. He further stated, that if the people in the house found out that I got up without them knowing they would do something to cause me to sleep longer. He also told me to try and realize when I might be waking up and to try and train myself not to move my eyes. He told me that my eye movements were one of the ways that they knew that I was coming out of it. As a child of perhaps six or seven when the statements were made to me I did not quite understand the why behind the warning but I did remember it and prior kindness by him and on that day I took comfort at him being at the table.

Chancy was older than the other children in the house and very capable of cajoling them. When around, he often took the lead in any conversation spoken at lunchtime. When he was at the lunchtime table, he did not allow the other children's constant taunts. I don't remember seeing him at dinner. Actually, when I think of that time, I remember eating few, if any, dinners in that household. But on this afternoon, after only a short period, perhaps, less than half an hour, an inner nudging urged me to turn around. Had I turned, I would have been facing the vertical window where I sometimes had watched the sunrise. The dire complication of a seven year old child having been kidnapped then stripped of personal memories did not elicit this child trusting a inner urging, no matter how gentle. A peculiar uncertainty draped. I look toward Chancy and saw a look of fear and terror on his face. He stood then immediate reseated himself. Chancy pointed toward me seemingly shouting for me to turn around, but I could not hear his voice. Peripherally, I saw the other children still seated at the table but my awareness of them became minimal. With my eyes focused on Chancy, he repeatedly pointed toward the window frantically telling me to turn around. He then Continued the anxious gestures several more times before he inhaled deeply, then exhaled a tremendous sigh of relief, he statement, " He wants you not me. I thought that he was coming after him me." Telepathically, Chancy repeated, "He's coming after you."

The atmosphere around me began to change. A quietness, a silence enveloped me while the strong attraction to turn around still prevailed. I felt that I was being gently pulled away from other children in the room. Briefly, I saw the children around me anxiously talking, yet, I could not hear their voices. My hesitancy in turning around was not out of fear, but by this time, at age seven, I had experienced brainwashing, (What a gentle term for such a diabolical action, especially when this action is committed against a child). I still don't understand the reason for the hesitancy, but after a time of resistance, I turned and faced the platform and the window.

When I turned toward the window whatever it was which had caused Chancy's fear, was not visible to me. The ethereal persuasion permeating me caused me to feel as if I were gliding as I advanced toward the platform. As I moved forward, awareness of other diminish. I did not remember the fear on Chancy's face nor my initial resistance. It just seemed to me that I flowed across the room unconnected to gravity. Once near the platform, toward my right, the appearance of the archetype of the fallen angel was visible. The fire engine red creature with its short black horns leered. I did not equate the image seen with evil for this might have been the first time I had ever experienced the image. Following, a few more steps, I noticed a second image. The second image was of a small figure with a round flat grayish looking face and a stick figure type body; he stood to my left. I found this second image much more attracting and amiable. Telepathically, I began to communicate with the grayish figure. This incident happened many years ago and exactness is not possible at this time. I do recall the grayish image telling me that something was about to happen. He further told me that I had nothing to be afraid of and that he was there for a reason having to do with energy. The matter he told me was too complicated to discuss at that time.

I was immediately fascinated by the extremely intelligent creature who stood to my left. I found his unusual features and characteristics intriguing and thought that he was someone I could communicate with , have fun with, play with. This excitement felt, was very short lived before it seemed to me that the sun was coming too closer to the second floor apartment. I had been so mesmerized by my newly found friend that nothing else around me held any of my attention. Yet, as it seemed that the sun was getting nearer and nearer the apartment, I mentally questioned if it would cause the apartment to caught fire. I wondered if the children in the house would be harmed. Just as I was becoming more concerned, the intelligent figure assured me that there was no reason for concern. For an undeterminable amount of seconds, I quietly watched the appearance of the sun graduate closer to the window. Even at seven, logic caused me to wonder how whatever it was, would be able to get through the thick brick wall of the apartment. Soon, the concern as to the safety of the children in the house was usurped by a celestial radiance. This enormous glow of yellow light began to take form. After a while, I could see the intense light penetrate through the brick wall. Still, in a mesmeric state, I watched as the light took form and once the image stood before me, in total awe, I immediately started to kneel. The completed image now standing before me looked apprehensively upward and slightly toward his right shoulder before he vehemently instructed me not to kneel, when he stated, "I did not tell them to worship me."

I don't know how much time has passed when the figure to my left told me that he was leaving and that he had served his reason for heralding. I became sad and disappointed at the fact of his leaving. I guess without realizing it due to the techniques used in mind control that I did not realize that I missed my friends and having someone to communicate with on my age level or for that fact, any levels at all. Before leaving the grayish figure told me to give my full attention to the image standing before me. The red image languished for a while then cowed backwardly away. Before leaving it stated in a vile, angry manner, "You would protect her." then he disappeared.

The extraordinary figure left standing before me explained to me that when I learned of him on this side of the globe how he looked that day was the way he was perceived on the side of the world where I was now living. He further stated that he had been perceived in many different way through many different cultures for many years. Other event of the vision are vague but I do remember being told that it is not good for a person to know too much about their future. I was told that for a while I would forget about the vision but that these things would come back to me in time. I was told that I would experience many hardship in my life but that thing would turn out all right in the end. I think that I was taken on a journey that day before being returned to the platform.

I don't remember the balance of that day once returned. I don't remember many days which followed as the programming continued. I do recall being asked by a number of adults who I did not know to explain what I saw that day. Many question were put before me. Question like, "Where was his heart." "Did he hold it in his hand?" One would think that such an exceptional experience would be respected and valued but instead I was treated as if I thought I was better than others and harassed and badgered. The many strangers who questioned me never treated me with kindness.

Since the title of this particular post is; "Excavation of Truth" it is not the ultimate truth of which I am speaking but indeed the truth of Mk-Ultra. The truth regarding the deception and chicanery perpetrated against unwitting citizens by sources whom they most likely trusted. The truth regarding the annihilation of an individuals inherent right to do God's Will due to finite interference. Thy kingdom come Thy will be done is certainly a statement I completely understand.

About Me

I am a survivor of Mk-Ultra. A United States Government Human Experimentation Program which used unwitting human subjects for a human behavior modification program. In enduring the extreme pain of having my mental state altered from excessive non-medically necessary electroshock treatments and sleep deprivation, and other inhumane form of torture, through the grace of God, I survived. I pray each day that in the wonder of my personal survival, that I will be able to be of service to others.