I learned from my childhood that a negative attitude brings grief to the whole family. My mom hardly ever had a conversation that was not negative. No matter the day, the situation, meal hour at the table, in the yard, after school, bedtime, my siblings and I had a bad stomach as a result of the stress. I must say now in her 70’s she is making an effort to change. I understand her more now.

An abusive past that included childhood, adolescence, periods of public life gave me the foundation to be negative.

Our choices especially wrong, immoral, unthoughtful, unsafe, inconsiderate, selfish choices impacts those around us. Although choices made by people with health and mental illness are not always choices but challenges that affect us and totally a different matter.

I remember; I determined at a young age to be a positive influence however that did not always translate into reality.

Personally I thing good choices have good consequences. Choices I make today affect my body, soul and spirit that affect others. To begin the process of good choices I certainly need a positive attitude, God’s guidance and some good ole common sense. If my choices are good then that is very good.

I know instinctively I have to Focus on the Positive. At 62 the days of daydreaming for a better life is over, I can watch as many romantic, feel good, get rich, Christmas movies I want but my life is what it is. When I thought the worse was over; My heart breaks knowing that someone close to me is suffering cyber bulling, another with marital issues, a dear friend has just been diagnosed with cancer, and far to many of my friends are now dealing with life threatening diseases. To know that someone I know is homeless.

The goals I have not realized YET now seem insignificant compared to these concerns. Still I must go on, life still happens and the choice is mine to persevere and pursue dreams, loves. I’m thinkin’ many have experienced accomplishments later in life and in spite of tragedy and difficulty.

Michelangelo sculptured masterfully at eighty-nine. Monet painted his best pictures after he was eighty-five so maybe I should get back to painting. I am still a 60’s Possibility.

It was only the catharsis of writing my book “Feet First ” and the grace and mercy of God that I’ve moved beyond abuse.

While I have overcome the pain of the past there are hurdles in the ‘here and now’ on a daily basis we all must overcome.

I must at any cost practice positive thinking.

Say Yes here’s another hurdle that I must stop and ask, how shall God and I overcome this thing?

Say thank you for everything.

Say I shall do good today.

You See- when I focus on the positive side it actually help me make more choices to look on the bright side.

I’m naturally a serious person but I do try to relax and shake it off. I want to anticipate a fun future even if I do not have at present a plan for our senior years. I’m still workin’ on that.

There is So much I can get bitter about But then why don’t I have the right to get angry and stay angry? So many arbitrarily choose things to impact and hurt me, why not?

Bitterness the unresolved anger turned inward eventually becomes hate towards all those that have wronged me.

BUT I want to be SWEET not a sourpuss.

What of you? Have you experiences in the past that caused you deep hurts whether it is illness or choices by others?

O God help me see there is positive in this day in spite of a new bump in the road.

How?

Firstly, to get a best perspective on today, Help me to be helpful and maintain a servants caring attitude just like the lowly carpenter.

Secondly, help me to continue to praise you and uplift others.

Thirdly, I wish to be grateful every day.

It’s not hard to believe I get discouraged but every kind word; smile I give to others through my discouragement is like a natural injection of meds.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries the bones. (Prov. 17:22) Yesterday as I was writing this post a dagger of disappointment pierced my soul when a family member gives me more news that breaks the heart and darkens my countenance as a blind.

Then just as quickly I was reminded of David who said ‘I WILL’ encourage myself in The Lord.

“WE are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.”

I want to be ‘that’ light ‘that’ sparkle of encouragement for my children and grandchildren. You may not give credence to scripture but may it be an encouragement to you anyway; it helps me daily.

Philippians 4: 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Today serendipitously the following example was given to me and I would love to share it.

So often many are like Gideon; at our weakest moment to be found a prisoner of fear and hiding in the most inappropriate place like an awful wine press. I too have been so afraid of losing and living in the dungeon of fear, frustrated, perspiring. But then suddenly an Angel of the Lord appeared and said; The Lord is with you, you mighty man/woman of fearless courage. Judges 6

A mighty person of courage while others may see a loser; God sees a winner. Wow. I am so glad the way God sees me…He sees more in us then we see ourselves.

The image was produced by the Space Telescope Science Institute (STScI) using the Hubble Space Telecope. No claim to copyright is being asserted by STScI and it may be freely used as in the public domain in accordance with a NASA contract (NAS5-26555). However, it is requested by STScI that in any subsequent use of this work NASA and STScI be given appropriate acknowledgement. STScI further requests voluntary reporting of all use, derivative creation, and other alteration of this work (to: copyright@stsci.edu).

“Twice in a Lifetime”

is still one of my favorite and old TV shows.

Change is a difficult thing.Change has haunted my thoughts for many months now.It has made me laugh but mostly made me cry with many a shed tear. Change and the resulting stretching is good for us; though often painful. Here is my poem that gives a glimpse into my thoughts.

“Once Upon A Time” or Maybe I could call it “The Princess Lessons”

Once upon a time there was a young princess who lived in a beautiful castle. Living in luxury; nice clothes, tasty food, fun toys, playmates and family.

Over time she grew bored and tired of where and what she lived in.

She lost a Contentment in her surroundings.

Unknowingly She looked at her world with regret.

One day as she was strolling around the castle grounds she became more discontented. Envy crept into her heart also.

She made her way to her high tower.

Standing at the highest point in the tower of her castle looked across the land.

To her surprise, she saw a magnificent castle that emanated a golden glow. She saw a land pristine and green. In her heart rose an angry jealousy. She demanded THAT castle.

Hurriedly the princess demanded her servants to prepare for their journey. Exhausted from days of travelling; she finally arrived at her destination.

Clearly upset she said, this cannot be the castle. Looking throughout the castle, she slowly felt that THIS castle was not elaborate as she thought.

She quickly went to the tower to get a better view. Suddenly she began to scream; I KNEW we did not arrive at the correct castle. See there it is, over there. That golden glow is stupendous. But my lady, said a servant, that is YOUR castle. It IS, she said sheepishly.

The journey back to her castle was a humbling experience. During the rigorous journey towards home, the princess had many reflective moments.

Everything that looks like gold isn’t Gold. It was the glow and reflection of the sun that made the other castle look like gold. Finally, she arrived home, After Such a rigorous but pondering journey.

A hot bath relaxed her tired bones. A glass of cool water quenched her thirst and warm meal satisfied her hunger.

Slowly looking at her familiar surroundings, she realized the grass truly isn’t greener on the other side.

It’s up to you how you end the story…

What are some reflective moments: • Appreciate what you have and not desire what belongs to someone else. Do not touch what does not belong to you. • Sometimes what you see is often obscured by the vantage point; present circumstances. • When we allow our heart to look elsewhere, there will be disappointment. • Don’t run/ travel to temptation; run away. • Don’t exhaust yourself looking in other directions for something or someone better. • Selfishness caused her to forget all lovely people in her life. • Be grateful for the people in your life and stop with the regrets and what if’s. Humbling moments aren’t deadly but can be enriching. • Don’t be fooled. Temptation usually comes through the door that has been deliberately left open. • Own up; resist the things that do not have the Creator and angels approval. But if you make a mistake, simply confess immediately. • Learn to appreciate what you have; wealth is all in one’s point of view. • What lens do you use to see life? • Sometimes you’re blessed and don’t even know.

Childhood lessons also reflect adult lessons.

Little Discipline and lack of restraints can often affect your future.

I think it is very unfortunate that our culture places such a high premium on the things of this world. What the “eye” see and desires, the hand is all too ready to take. This society is more accepting of immorality, pornography, greed, strife, hate, unkindness, intolerance, crime and revenge.

Learn to think of your problems positively for example your relationships. People who cannot look at their own relationship problems/conditions positively go on to make dumb mistakes/choices.

Truly know in your heart what is right and wrong. Learn to have self control.

Who are the monsters in the story; yeah, they are sneaky like ninja’s that come out of the shadows: Self-centeredness Ungratefulness Wrong thinking Anger Lust of the eyes Envy Jealousy Pride Fear Over familiarity Negativity Immorality

If we allow it, WE can become monsterous.

But God made you beautiful and glorious, so pull up your boot straps live your best life and make me proud. Be courageous you have it in you. Be positive it gets easier with practice. Be committed to God, family, to yourself. See the good in you- you’re more than An angel Be forgiving Be gracious Love others, even When they don’t meet your expectation. Do what is right

Stay beautiful God made you after His image.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I hope you are having a great day and being blessed and blessing others.

In my opinion; Some of the most popular literature in the world is found in the book of Psalms; the songbook of Israel which most were set to music.

I am only one of millions who love Psalm 23,The Lord is my Shepherd, Psalm 90, the oldest Psalm, written by Moses, Psalm 46, a favorite read at funerals, God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Post adultery Psalm 51.

Have you ever had trouble- trying to silence a guilty conscience?

Guilt in the back of our minds can drive us nuts.

Many people try all sorts of ways to deal with the terrible feelings of guilt and the low self-esteem that inevitably comes after they’ve messed up.

Some people try to Deny it or make excuses or they try to ignore it

OR you can Deaden your guilt, by eating, drinking, inhaling, or injecting something to make the pain go away.

Sometimes people try to compensate by doing something good -Guilt is a powerful motivator.

It’s not unusual for people to goof up and be stupid or be unwise or get loss in the moment and make a mistake or get lazy let down their guard and commit a sin.

When we do something wrong, you or I can try to cover it up or fess up.

Because I have friends who have suffered the after effects of adultery I often think of the story of King David and his adultery with Bathsheba.

David wrote Psalm 51 after his sin of adultery right after being found out his attempt to cover up didn’t work.

So here’s the true story: David is lazing around in the palace when he should have been at work with his armies [fighting the Ammonites] with too much time on his hands and happens to see a woman taking a bath, and instantly lust takes hold, and he tells his servant, bring her to me. Bathsheba of course, being the wife of Uriah One of the highest ranking men who helped him win many victories…

And wouldn’t you know that after this little affair Bathsheba gets pregnant and the great cover up begins. He brings Uriah home from the war, and try’s several times to get him to sleep with Bathsheba, but being an honorable soldier – he won’t.

Since that didn’t work David put Uriah in front of a battle to get him killed – The plan works, Uriah dies.

David immediately marries Bathsheba.

I wonder, did David have a guilty conscience? I believe the creator was displeased with David’s actions.

I often wonder what 8 months of Bathsheba’s pregnancy were like. Was she suspicious of David, what were his thoughts.

I think he was gonna try to deal with it by not dealing with it.

Ignore it.

But creator God is not gonna let him forget it.

Enter; God’s prophet Nathan came to confront him.

What has history told us what David said; “I have sinned against the Lord!”

Even if you aren’t a Bible believing person Psalm 51- a psalm of David is amazing.

3 For I know my transgressions,and my sin is always before me.4 Against you, you only, have I sinnedand done what is evil in your sight;so you are right in your verdictand justified when you judge.5 Surely I was sinful at birth,sinful from the time my mother conceived me.6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.8 Let me hear joy and gladness;let the bones you have crushed rejoice.9 Hide your face from my sinsand blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,and renew a steadfast spirit within me.11 Do not cast me from your presenceor take your Holy Spirit from me.12 Restore to me the joy of your salvationand grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me

I guess what I am saying is that the Only way to deal with a guilty conscience – ADMIT.

We are responsible for our own lives and It does no good to blame other people, or blame my circumstances.

Edgar Allen Poe’s story, “The Telltale Heart”?

In that story, the main character has committed murder and he buries the body under floorboards in his house. But the murderer can’t escape the guilt of his deed.

He begins to hear the heartbeat of his dead victim. A cold sweat pours over him as that heartbeat goes on and on, relentlessly, getting louder and louder.

Finally the noise in his head is driving him crazy, he can’t take it anymore, he’s sure everyone else must hear it too, and they’re just taunting him by ignoring, it, just playing with him. And so finally in a fit of desperation, he confesses everything and shows policemen the body.

I would be stupid to think that our/my actions doesn’t hurt others. For me personally because of my commitment I have to make it right with the creator before I can make it right with my family or neighbor.

Guilt is good if we allow it to guide us to better decisions.

Dr. Brand who spent much of his life in India working with leprosy patients made a major discovery – Because of the lack of pain they were constantly injuring themselves which would result in amputation.

Guilt is just as important to our lives as pain and it is a warning sign that helps us know that something needs to change.

There are bad choices, mistakes, neglects that are not sins, but may require forgiveness. But there are things I choose to believe are sin. We are caught in a web -in a mess, sin, stupidity – we need mercy and grace – well I do.

Mercy to escape the bad, and grace to be given the goodness of forgiveness and freedom to go forward.

For the psalmist David he understood this – in his day they dipped hyssop in the blood of sacrificed animals and applied to the altar or doorposts over the house.

As I follow the teachings of Christ – it is inherent in his teachings that if we ( I ) sin it is paid by his shed blood. My relationship with my creator allows a Higher accountability for my thoughts, words and actions.

In the case of adultery blood spills because the lifeblood of the relationship dies.

Rarely, it is recovered through forgiveness.

It’s that powerful force of love That gives us forgiveness, mercy and grace.

The psalmist said Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore unto me the joy. We all need strength and power to keep us on tract and stay away from that which caused us guilt in the first place.

What’s the use of guilt alone – but “I’m sorry” “I repent” and I want to make a change is necessary.

A change of heart. A change of mind. and A change of direction.

Such contrition removes guilt AND joy replaces inner anguish.

Truly each of us is in charge of our lives and choices and we are often challenged by them.

However, it is important to note that whatever we do there are ripple effects.

Don’t get me wrong; we will make mistakes, but whatever happens in your life – Admit and Go Forward.

Day 23 of my Recent 30 Day Thankfulness Challenge; I am thankful for value of Understanding. 😀

I am thankful for the journey to Understanding. In many respects total understanding is best experienced.

We may not always understand each other to the nth degree but the trying and the symbolic gesture of putting yourself in the other persons shoes should serve us quite well.

I think quick to listen and slow to speak is enriching the ground for understanding. The process of understanding moves us forward to other integral qualities.

I have seen the opposite side of this when two parties wrong each other and one gets the so called ‘sweet revenge’ but then I have noticed that pleasure is just for a moment whereas forgiving makes for a happy forever.

Let’s help this season and each day better by understanding and loving.

Recently[for us on this side of the planet] was our first snowfall of this season. A blanket of white a supreme brightness and expectation that Christmas is just around the corner. A sweet spirit envelopes the day. May that sweet magical spirit envelope you today as you progress toward enlightenment of understanding yourself, others and of the majesty of God.

Pertinent Quotes:

There is a proverb that says, A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

The Psalmist says, The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.

Count it all joy, my friends, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. Dale Carnegie

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done. Aaron Burr

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

“Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.” – Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Try to understand men. If you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and almost always leads to love.” John Steinbeck

Day 20 of my recent 30 Day Thankfulness Challenge; I am thankful for movies but especially older movies . 😀

There are many things I am thankful for in the modern age but modern movies usually do not go to the top of my list. I will agree there are some great movies that have come out in the past 20 years but I am afraid I still prefer the message of the older movies.

Hollywood does not leave much to the imagination. Predominant themes are sex and more sex, immorality, violence with the full blood guts and brawn, potty mouth to the nth degree, disregard for love and marriage is the order of the day so I avoid those and go straight to the sensible movies [in my opinion].

Oh my goodness I just realized something I love so many movies I can’t name them all. Oh dear; my name is Beverley Hoyles and I am a movie addict!
😀 Not really I love movies but I’m haven’t gone that far yet!

For me whatever the movie I am watching… it has to get to me on an emotional level.

I must feel something. It must send a message and I have to decide whether it is conducive for me to hang on to.

Personally I don’t like movies that want to cram things that deprave humanity in any way. Propaganda to infiltrate society to believe a criteria to beauty is only in a visual sense. I also dislike the idea of movies that promote immorality and disloyalty.

Day 18 of my recent 30 Day Thankfulness Challenge; I am thankful for the land of my birth Newfoundland and Labrador. 😀

One Tourist site said of Newfoundland: ‘Nestled into the northeast corner of North America, Newfoundland and Labrador offers a leisurely Old World pace, modern conveniences and a unique spirit. It is one of the best-kept vacation secrets on the continent. The air is clean, the people are friendly and the vistas — well, you’ll just have to see for yourself.’

Any Newfoundlander living away sense a charismatic, electrifying, magnetic pull back towards Newfoundland. Homesickness for the ocean, food, people, scenery, the love of Newfoundland. Everywhere you go you’ll find people willing to tell you the history of their area.

“I hate endings. Just detest them. Beginnings are definitely the most exciting, middles are perplexing and endings are a disaster. . . . The temptation towards resolution, towards wrapping up the package, seems to me a terrible trap. Why not be more honest with the moment? The most authentic endings are the ones which are already revolving towards another beginning. That’s genius.” ― Sam Shepard