Former Giant Tased After Drunken Scooter Chase

Welcome to the new visitors who got here via xkcd. You honor me with your virtual presences.

You also aggressively check my math, and that is totally fine.

This post involves former New York Giant (not a man who was once a giant, but shrank) Tyler Sash, who was arrested late Saturday night after leading police on a dramatic low-speed chase through Oskaloosa, Iowa. According to USA Today, an officer noticed Sash riding a motorized scooter without lights "down a major thoroughfare," and ordered him to stop (probably suspecting, correctly, that Sash had been drinking). Instead, Sash fled, and the chase was on.

"Plenty of gas-powered thrills await"

For some reason, none of these reports (ESPN, NY Daily News, KCCI.com) say whether police pursued on foot or in a vehicle. It could be either, because, just FYI, a motorized scooter should not be your first choice when it comes to getaway vehicles. According to the manufacturer, the Motovox MVS-10 that Sash was riding does have a 30-mile range, which turns out to be a lot more than he needed, but has a top speed of just 19 mph. And as this video explains, that assumes a rider who weighs no more than 165 pounds. "We understand," the narrator says, that some riders "are gonna be a little heavier." That's fine, but "[y]ou cannot expect maximum performance with a rider of more than 165 pounds."

According to the NFL, Sash weighs 215 pounds, and he was probably carrying at least one extra pound or two because of the six beers he later admitted to drinking in the previous hour. So this MVS-10 was being asked to carry at least 51 pounds more than its standard load (about 30% extra). Assuming that reduced its top speed by 30 percent (and here come the engineers, probably), Sash would have been fleeing at just over 13 mph.

As he apparently remembered after four blocks, he can run faster than that. (4.62 40-yard dash=17.7 mph. I hope). At least, that's when he ditched the MVS-10 and took off on foot. It's not clear how far he got after that. According to police the entire incident started at 1:27 a.m. and ended when Sash was tased at 1:56, but he spent an unknown amount of time first hiding behind a tree and then refusing to comply with instructions (hence the tasing). So I think "didn't get far" is the most we can say for now.

Sash appeared in court yesterday and pleaded not guilty to the charges, which were public intoxication and "interference with official acts." He could also be charged with driving under the influence, because as regular readers know it is entirely possible to be charged with that even if you were driving something much more ridiculous than a car. But that remains to be seen. According to local news, "A legal expert tells KCCI that the county attorney has up to 45 days to decide whether to add more chases to the case."