Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Mirror Mirror, you are (dead) boring me

i like this poster best

the Plot:
Snow White's mother died in child birth. Her father, the King (Sean Bean), then raised Snow White so that she could rule the kingdom one day. His new wife is the Queen (Julia Roberts), the most beautiful woman in the land. One day, the king leaves to fight a great evil that has invaded the land, giving Snow White a golden dagger. He rides off into the forest and never comes back.

The Queen rules in his place. Jealous and threatened by Snow White, the Queen continues to belittle and oppress Snow White, even forbidding her from leaving the palace.

Ten years later Snow White (Lily Collins) is turning eighteen and has spent much of her life locked in the palace. The Queen does not care for her but Snow White is still loved by the palace staff, especially by a kind baker named Margaret (Mare Winningham), who took care of Snow White ever since the King disappeared.

On Snow White's 18th birthday, Margaret tells her that the kingdom is rightfully hers and that she should go outside and see what has become of her people.

Snow White then silently defies the Queen's orders and leaves the palace in secret, intent on seeing the conditions of her kingdom.

In the forest, she meets Prince Andrew Alcott (Armie Hammer) and his companion Charles Renbock (Robert Emms) who have been robbed by short bandits.

She and the Prince are drawn to each other but go their separate ways. Snow White arrives in the town the palace overlooks (which she remembered visiting the town once before with her father), and discovers it is barren and the once-happy people are destitute due to the Queen's greed. Angered that the Queen has destroyed everything her father worked for, Snow White decides to overthrow her stepmother.

Prince Alcott finds his way to the palace. The Queen, realizing he comes from a wealthy kingdom, hatches a plot to get him to marry her so she can solve her financial problems. She hosts a ball in honor of the Prince and goes to great lengths to make herself as beautiful as possible.

Snow White secretly attends the ball planning to ask the prince, whom she believes she has not met, to help her restore the kingdom. She and Alcott learn the truth about each other when they are partnered in a dance.

Smitten, Prince Alcott makes sure that Snow White stays by his side which the Queen notices. The Queen has Snow White seized by her guards, and Snow White (for the first time in her life) stands up to her stepmother and tells her she has no right to rule as she does.

Seeing Snow White as the threat she always feared she would be, The Queen orders her manservant Brighton (Nathan Lane) to take the princess into the forest and feed her to the Beast that lives there. Brighton takes Snow White to the forest, but is unable to kill her. He releases her and tells her to run. Snow White flees the Beast (Frank Welker) and collapses at the door to the Seven Dwarfs' house.

The Queen goes to her Magic Mirror, a portal to a bleak and barren world that contains a house full of mirrors. Within the mirrors lives the Queen's reflection (Lisa Roberts Gillan) who is much wiser, kinder, and somewhat younger than her. She gives advice to the Queen when she asks for it. The Queen requests a love potion so she can make the Prince fall in love with her. The Mirror Queen repeatedly warns her that there is a price for using dark magic, but the Queen refuses to listen.

Back in the forest, Snow White wakes up to find herself surrounded by the dwarfs Grimm (Danny Woodburn), Butcher (Martin Klebba), Wolf (Sebastian Saraceno), Napoleon (Jordan Prentice), Half Pint (Mark Povinelli), Grub (Joe Gnoffo), and Chuck (Ronald Lee Clark) who is nicknamed "Chuckles" because he is always laughing. After much debate, they agree to let her stay with them for one night.

The Queen levies another tax against the people to pay for the parties she throws for Prince Alcott. Brighton is sent to collect and is informed by the town magistrate that the people can not tolerate much more. On the way back to the palace, the dwarfs rob Brighton and steal the tax money. When Snow White finds out that the Dwarfs are thieves and that the stolen money belongs to the townspeople, she is angry. The Dwarfs explain that no one stood up for them years earlier when the Queen expelled them from the kingdom because she thought they were ugly. Snow White sneaks away while they are distracted to return the money. The townspeople are overjoyed to have their money back and Snow White lets the Dwarfs take credit for it, earning them the people's acceptance and gratitude.

The Dwarfs agree that Snow White can stay permanently if she agrees to become a thief like them. She agrees, but only if they can steal from the Queen and give back to the people.

Meanwhile, the Queen informs Alcott that Snow White is dead and attempts to get him to marry her only to be interrupted by Brighton.

When the Prince finds out that the bandits have robbed Brighton, he goes after them unaware of the awful things the Queen has done. In the forest, Alcott discovers that Snow White is not only alive, but in league with the bandits.

Each believing the other to be in the wrong, Snow White and Alcott duel.

Alcott returns to the Palace defeated and informs the Queen that Snow White is alive and in league with the bandits that stole her money.

The Queen consults her Magic Mirror again and demands that the Mirror Queen punish Brighton for lying to her. The Mirror Queen turns him into a cockroach (which he was dressed up as at the Queen's ball) and tells the Mirror Queen to use its magic to kill Snow White. Despite the Mirror's warning about using dark magic, the Queen (blinded by hatred) agrees to accept whatever consequences her actions may bring. She uses a love potion to make the Prince fall in love with her, like what she did to Snow White's father but with unintended results (she accidentally used a potion called Puppy love which causes the Prince to act like a devoted puppy dog). Although the effects of the potion were wrong, she uses the Prince's new found devotion to get him to agree to marry her.

When Snow White learns of the wedding, she is heartbroken. The Queen then uses black magic to create two giant wooden puppets in the forest and uses them to try and kill Snow White and the Dwarfs. Snow White is able to cut the strings of the puppets and break the mirror's spell, but she decides to run away to protect her new friends.

The next morning, the Dwarfs find her gone and discover a note she left them telling them that she loves them all. They intercept her just as she is preparing to leave and convinces her that their lives are better with her.

They decide to crash the wedding of the Queen and the Prince, and do so.

Meanwhile back at the palace, the Queen huffs and puffs to fit into her wedding gown. Brighton somehow turns into a human again and aids the Queen to prepare for her wedding.

However, when they arrive at her wedding, the Prince is gone and the noble guests are in their underwear, robbed of their clothes and valuables.

The guests inform the Queen that Snow White has captured the Prince. Back in the forest, the Prince (still under the spell) wishes to be with the Queen. The Dwarfs and Snow White come to the conclusion that they have to use true love's kiss, which will break any spell. Snow White kisses Alcott as her first kiss and the spell is broken.

The Queen arrives in the forest intent on killing Snow White herself. She reveals that she can control the Beast that has been plaguing the forest and sends it after Snow White. Snow White fights the Beast with help from the Dwarves and the Prince, but all are soon overcome.

As the beast is about to deliver the killing blow, it hesitates and Snow White sees that it wears a necklace with a moon charm on it similar to the one the Queen wears. She cuts the chain with her father's dagger and the Beast suddenly becomes engulfed in light. In the Mirror House, the Queen is gloating, but suddenly realizes something is wrong. She begins to age and the Mirror Queen tells her that this is her consequence for using dark magic. The Beast turns out to be Snow White's father who has no memory of the last ten years.

Grateful to Alcott for his assistance, he agrees to let him marry Snow White.

During the wedding celebration, a hooded crone offers Snow White an apple (which is the poisoned apple) as a wedding gift. Learning that the crone is what has become of the Queen, Snow White cuts a piece of the apple, offers it to the Queen, and remarks it is time to accept that she has been beaten (something the Queen once said to her).

Accepting defeat, the Queen eats the apple. The Mirror House is subsequently destroyed as the Mirror Queen declared that it was Snow White's story all along.

The film's epilogue reveals what happened to the Dwarfs: Grimm writes a book of fairy tales, Napoleon becomes a hairdresser, Wolf rejoins his pack, Half-Pint finds a girlfriend, Grub just eats, Butcher becomes a flyweight champion, and Chuck joins the royal circus.

the Riviu:

the movie has so many weak points, mainly in form of its main character: Snow White. and the tackiness and awkwardness of the ending made the film lose most of its stars. were it not for the charms of Prince Alcott and the dwarves, i would have abandoned watching altogether.

Speaking of the dwarves, each one of those seven bandit dwarves stole the movie! The dwarves are (from left to right): the stylish Napoleon (Jordan Prentice), ever-hungry Grub (Joe Gnoffo), howling Wolf (Sebastian Saraceno), surly Butcher (Martin Klebba), clever and amorous Half Pint (Mark Povinelli), stalwart Grimm (Danny Woodburn), and funny Chuckles (Ronald Lee Clark). These actors served as the flavor for the entire film and carried the humor and emotional connection for the audience for movie, my all time fave is Half Pint. he was funny all right. and cute.

Lily Collins plays a perfectly graceful, kind and delicately brave young princess but you can't rid the feeling that her casting was purely for her likeness for the part. she tried to give the character some depth but failed unanimously. when she tried to woo Butcher to agree to let her stay by looking cute (at least i thought that is what she tried to do), it was not at all cute nor appealing. sorry missie, wrong door here.

plus, the rag tag team of the kitchen helpers being her strong supporters are not likable and unrelatable. and the finale song, and the tacky dress, and the dance, my eyes simply bleed!

however Armie Hammer gives a surprisingly solid and consistent performance as the dashing Prince Alcott. He is funny and charming all at the same time and it felt like his character kept the tempo of the film going. i would bet my last dollar that he was the RIGHT person for the job. women swoon and the Queen does implied that she can't think when faced with Prince Alcott in a state of undress. yup, that was believable :)

Julia Roberts’ evil Queen was not as much fun to watch as it could have been. Perhaps Roberts as an evil-doer is simply not believable? she does portray meanness but that is how far her meanness goes. if she could turn the King into a beast, Brighton into a cockroach, why not turn Snow into something, let her vanish altogether a long time before!

anyway i love the prologue part and the entrance into the Mirror house. WICKED!! nonetheless the failure of the epilogue dragged the movie rating down in manifolds. i cringed big time! sori beb, you cannot match Ella Enchanted epilogue. that lot was fun and not at all awkward!