Third Time's a Charm!

Third Time's a Charm!

I have three girls, and the second I had my first daughter, people started asking me when I was going to have my boy. After my second daughter, the questions started a week after she was born. I was stopped by an elderly woman at a garden show, and instead of commenting how cute my newborn was, the second she heard "girl", she began to tell me how I needed a little boy. When I was pregnant with my third, after I found out her gender, I got a lot of "I'm sorry" from everyone. I think having all of the same gender is a wonderful gift. I was one of two, and my brother and I are not as close as most people I know who have same gender siblings. My three girls will be able to support each other when they reach milestones, such as puberty, dating, and social problems. Being the same gender, and close in age, they have the best built in support network.

To see what else Lysistrata has to say about being mom to three gals and share your take on strangers speaking up about the sex of your children, read more.

Even now, with my youngest almost two, I will get stopped at least once every trip to the store by some well meaning (usually older) person, who looks at my three beautiful, healthy, thriving, well behaved daughters and say "when you trying for the boy?" It's insulting to think three girls are not enough. I am now unable to have more children, but if I wanted another, I'd definitely want a girl. The dynamic is something I never expected, but am very grateful to experience and be a part of.

Something about pregnancy and early parenthood makes peolpe think that they can say any careless thing to a total stranger. My first full term pregnancy was fraternal twins--- a boy and a girl. There were complications during the birth, and the girl did not survive. My son was beautiful and chubby faced, but strangers would always comment that they bet I wished for a girl, that women always needed to have a girl. When I became pregnant with my second child, some relatives went so far as to buy girl baby clothes before I was past my second trimester! My second child was also a boy. For years, even after I divorced and was a single mom, teachers, neighbors and church ladies kept asking when I was going to have a girl to "complete" my family. All these thoughtless people did is remind me over and over again of my loss.

I have one boy and one girl and I always get "ok so I guess you're done now since you have your boy and girl". I have found when it comes to children people just do not sensor themselves. Nothing you can really do....just smile and nod.

No one has ever been anything but smiles and compliments when it comes to my four-year old girl. I'm the sort of person, if someone asks me a stupid question, I give a stupid answer. "When are you having the boy?" ... "Maybe when you start minding your own business." Or if I was feeling really bitchy, "When you stop being stupid."
I like your answer, Studio16, "We'll get on that." Much less rude than my approach would be.

5 years

I think it doesn't really matter what you have as long as you're happy with that! As for having all the same gender and them being closer than if it had been 1 girl and 1 boy or 2 girls and 2 boys, I can't say that I agree. I know plenty of people who are much closer to their sibling of the opposite sex than to the sibling of the same sex as their own. It has a lot to do with people's personalities, not just their genders. Not much different than I get along better with one of my sisters than I do the other. My husband is closer to his sister than his brother. So long as you're happy with your family, no one else's opinion really matters!

5 years

I am the oldest of three girls. I have no frame of reference, but I love having sisters. I have two best friends that I will have, no matter what, for the rest of my life.
My father has always taken so much pride in the three of us and loves nothing better than when we're all together. My mother describes occasions when we're together as a 'constant sleepover.'
There was sibling rivalry and some jealousy growing up (we're each two years apart), but now that we're all adults we're very close.
I think you are very lucky and would love to have three girls of my own.

I honestly don't think people are trying to be rude. Sometimes people just try to make small talk and they say stupid stuff that you shouldn't really say to people you don't know. Also, a lot of moms make no quibbles about the fact that they want their little pigeon pair, one of each. So I guess some people see young moms with all 3 and think, "Oh, that poor woman!"
Next time someone says something like, "You should start trying for a boy," just smile and say, "We'll get on that."

People do this all the time, about all sorts of things. It is really irritating, but i agree that for the most part they don't mean it to be as insulting as it comes across. My siblings and I are all 4 girls, and people were constantly badgering my mother. One second it would be, jeez have enough kids, and the next it would be, you better hurry up and have that boy! My mom just smiled and said 4 was plenty enough for us.

5 years

That's a very old fashioned idea, I think, that you need to have a boy (to continue the family name etc.)
I would love to have a boy one day, but there's something really fun about all girls too
I think every combination of genders has it's own charm.

You have to understand that people don't mean to be insensitive. I couldn't get pregnant for years, and it drove me crazy when people asked me, "Where are the kids?"
They don't know the knife twisting affect this has on a person undergoing fertility problems. They are just trying to be nice and show an interest.
Prepare a cute answer. Once, someone asked David Letterman why he had no kids. He said, "You'd have to ask my Urologist." (Since then, he's had kids)
You could say, "Don't you know that girls are the best? How could anyone have a better family than mine?"