Columnist Rachel Mainwaring remembers how it felt to be at the start of her adult life... wishing she was Welshie Spice

it’s 18 years since the Spice Girls released their debut single Wannabe, kicking off a bevy of girl power, platform shoes and the phenomenon that was a Union Jack dress.

I loved the Spice Girls. So much so that I once spent a very drunk New Year’s Eve crying into a Diamond White that I wasn’t actually in the girl band.

I literally sobbed all night, my brain addled by too much alcohol, lamenting that I was just as good as Baby Spice, with hair just as blonde and with a voice to match. It was so laughable and, quite frankly, pathetic, that my friends decided to tape me during my distress and somewhere (but not too easily found I hope) there is a cassette (yes, I’m that old) with me singing Wannabe one minute and weeping the next that I should be the sixth Spice Girl, Welshie Spice.

It’s embarrassing to look back on but that’s the sort of thing you do when you’re 21 isn’t it? You know, dream of bigger things, believe that you can do anything, get drunk on a mixture of Diamond White, Hooch and cheap white wine from the Spar.

Now 39, my big 4-0 is perilously close yet in many ways I’d say I haven’t changed at all. Same hair, same face, same pot-belly. But I have really. There are so many things I know now that I didn’t know then.

And as hindsight provides the perfect opportunity to be wise and to celebrate that fact, here’s a letter to the 21-year-old me, with a little bit of old-fashioned wisdom thrown in...

Dear Rachel,

You’re 21, about to graduate from university with a degree and have an exciting future and career ahead of you. Don’t worry about the next step. A postgraduate degree beckons, proving that you were right to pick journalism after all. That nosy nature would be wasted on any other profession and you will get a job that you love.

You will meet people you never dreamed of meeting and, yes, you will, one day, drink gin and tonic with the Queen, chase Sir Tom Jones down a railway platform, ask England rugby player Jeremy Guscott if you can custard pie him in the face AND get to spend an evening in the company of the Spice Girls. Just one note on that though – don’t speak too loudly into your mobile phone in the toilet cubicle about how they are just ‘normal people with the odd zit’ as you never know who is in the one next door (think Baby, think blushing, think absolutely mortified).

Don’t expect your job to always be easy. Work hard, as time and people will make constant demands on you. Believe in yourself at all times because you can rest assured that not everyone will always show their faith in you. Learn to say no, learn to challenge yourself, tackle difficult situations. Don’t be afraid to cry when you’ve had a bad day, just wait until you get home.

Value your friendships. Not the ones that are fleeting and only maintained on social media but the ones that are genuine and real. You will meet a group of women towards the end of this decade who will be your friends for life.

Stick with them, they are worth investing your time in. They will see you at your best and at your worst and they will love you all the same. They will support you, make you laugh and never judge and be constant reminders of what is important in life.

Your family will grow; you will marry your childhood sweetheart, have two beautiful kids and learn the never-ending lessons of parenthood. And you will keep on learning as the challenges never cease. Disturbed nights will give way to two-year-old tantrums, you will feel like a taxi service, cleaner and cook rolled into one and when the hormones start kicking in, take a breath to remember how you felt as a pre-pubescent adolescent before you start ranting and raving. Remember to have fun. Bringing up kids is one of the most rewarding things you can do. Cherish every second, laugh at the good bits and don’t stop believing that you can do it all. As a mum, you’ll have to learn to juggle what feels like a million tasks at once but it can be done. But don’t be too proud. Accept help when it is offered and ask for it when it’s not. Make life easier for yourself by insisting on a bedtime routine and remember that it’s OK to still have a social life as relationships need and should have constant nurturing.

Rejoice in your parents and in-laws. They will make your busy life easier and will always be firmly on your team.

Let them give the kids too many treats once in a while, let your mum teach them how to cook because she’s better at it than you, and don’t worry if the odd picture frame gets broken because of your son’s over-enthusiast kicking of footballs with grampy. Those times are precious, allow them to indulge their grandchildren and they will indulge them right back.

Finally, look forward to the future.

Expect surprises, high points and low points but know that you will never have to face any of them alone. Keep on learning, keep on loving and keep on dreaming. Who knows? You might end up in the Old Spice Girls one day,

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