Venus In Virgo: It’s Just A Little Crush….

I was discussing retrograding Venus-in-Virgo squaring Saturn-in-Scorpio matters of the heart with a girlfriend last night when I found myself trying to put things into perspective for her by dispensing the advice not to take things too seriously re: her current love interest. It was then, of course, the imaginary juke box in my head decided to fire up with this little ditty, LOL – it’s a sort pop-y one-hit wonder from circa the late 90’s, so don’t be surprised if you’ve never heard it before:

How perfect for the current astro! She was overanalyzing things (again) and getting way ahead of herself about where the relationship was/wasn’t going, so I kind of had to pull a “full stop” on her and jam on the brakes a bit, LOL. You may recall back at the beginning of the year that I outlined in my newsletter how the outset of this retrograde has the ability to cause us to re-evaluate relationships with a more critical eye, and that while healthy discernment does play a role in keeping us safe from any proverbial Trojan Horses, the old saying about “looking a gift horse in the mouth” does come to mind.

So why make more out of it (meaning, a relationship) than it is by turning it into A Big Deal? Not necessarily in the sense of getting more of a commitment out of a partner by defining dealbreakers or through requiring a more serious level of intimacy (though that’s certainly possible under this astro), but why not practice just being in the moment and appreciating a relationship for what it is in the now rather than fret about what it will or won’t grow into? That’s not to say that things can’t go any further or that we cannot be hopeful, but only time will tell where a relationship will ultimately end up and an excessively future-oriented focus has the ability to create needless fear and pressure. Fuck it – with Venus dipping back into Leo for the majority of this retrograde, my advice to her was to just have some fun!

Taking a more macro view of this retrograde phase overall, Venus actually only spends a small amount of time in Virgo. It is Leo where the vast majority of her backtrack occurs, and since this is the sign of playfulness, when Venus and Jupiter unite in this sign it is essentially an invitation to keep the heart open and to indulge our joie-de-vivre. Warmth and honesty are favored in relationships, and though we cannot simply gloss over unpleasant realities with the square to Saturn in Scorpio in the mix, it is also possible to prevent a relationship from growing if we get tied up in complex considerations that we would be far better off just crossing when we come to them later down the road.

Right now, good relationships should increase our confidence, facilitate open self-expression, and also allow us to bask in the warm glow of praise when our talents are generously recognized by others. Though we can (and should) keep certain core essential relationship goals in view, I see no harm in postponing heavy deliberations for the time being in order to back-burner a bit…provided the basic (relationship) structure is itself sound. Heaping the pressure on when it’s more appropriate to just be enjoying ourselves can limit growth potential and may compromise the integrity of a relationship’s entire framework. Kind of like how on a first date there are typically certain boundaries regarding the topic of exes that are there for EVERYBODY’S safety, LOL – this can be a potentially loaded nexus of negativity for understandable reasons, so why even put this kind of pressure on the sitch period? Or throw out the old “Do you want kids?” question, LOL – the point is that it’s not exactly a barrel of laughs to delve into such serious and complex considerations when we should just be keeping it light & enjoyable for the time being. Saturn reminds us there is a time and a place for everything and balanced consideration for what is…and more importantly, isn’t…appropriate is the way to go.

Speaking of balanced consideration, there are certainly other ways this square can manifest, of course, because no astro-energy is ever one-dimensional. What about the phrase “It’s all fun & games until someone loses an eye”? As I’ve said elsewhere, Jupiter + Venus in Leo can also be hedonism to the nines; a purely ego-centered desire for self-gratification in relationships that can be blown out of all proportion where certain consequences are not respected…say, via the broaching of sexual boundaries, for example. What happens when we fail to consider the implications of intimacy, especially on the physical plane? When we play around with the belief that we’re just going to enjoy a recreational liaison but then when the clothes come off shit gets real? It can sometimes be easy to mistake intensity for intimacy, so rather than learn a 50 shades of grey style love lesson about what intimacy is and isn’t, sometimes it’s wise not to play too lightly with dangerous things. Such as enjoying a tryst without due regard for the potential ramifications of things like pregnancy or STI’s, for example.

There can also be the topic of sexual fidelity on the table…what if our partner has certain sexual barriers or (god forbid) challenges in this regard, or if they are even afraid of being intimate? What if there is a real obstacle or inhibition on this front that limits the level of intimacy available in the relationship and they are too hung up to work through this with us? Do we chain ourselves to them when it’s not our burden to bear? If there is a real compatibility issue we cannot fix, do we continue to carry the weight of a stagnant situation, hoping to stave off an inevitable reality that we will eventually have to make a hard choice? With Saturn in Scorpio, the status quo can indeed keep us stuck and prevent opportunities for growth and yet we may simultaneously fear that ending. Is it possible that on some level we might be settling for less because there is an issue of self worth where we feel this is all we deserve? One sense I get from this square is that of a life-affirming love that may encounter challenges in the form of some kind of physical or psychological lockdown, so it is definitely worth asking ourselves if there is anything holding us back at this time as it is entirely possible to shut the door on opportunity if we’re not careful.

Returning to a micro view of the present moment, however, wherein Venus remains in Virgo until Friday, I do generally favor the view expressed in the aforementioned song. Which, to summarize, is:

See you’re blowin’ me a kiss
It doesn’t take a scientist
To understand what’s goin’ on, baby.
If you see somethin’ in my eye
Let’s not overanalyze; don’t go too deep with it, baby.
So let it be what it’ll be
Don’t make a fuss and go crazy over you & me
Here’s what I’ll do
I’ll play loose; not like I have a date with destiny.

See, it’s a matter of remembering not to put the cart before the horse in matters of love…these are highly karmic times we’re living in on the relationship front when Venus retrogrades, but keep in mind that we’re not necessarily sure of what that karma IS, exactly. Sure under Venus Rx love can blossom, renew, hit from left field, or even (conversely) fade, but the “why” of this is something yet to be determined. During Venus Rx, soul-level affinity – i.e. that of the “kindred spirit” or “soul mate” variety – is generally favored over purely appearance-oriented attraction. And if we happen to harbor a belief in reincarnation, love-at-first-sight style infatuations that surface under the auspices of a backtracking Venus may even be an indicator of some kind of past-life connection, so who knows? This doesn’t mean we are necessarily meant to be together forever, per se – it just may be there is something unresolved on an energetic level within that connection and Venus Rx could bring it back to us for the purposes of tying up these loose ends.

The other key point of consideration, I think, is a possible issue of timing. Venus’ retrograde cycle actually forms a 5-pointed star, which brings to mind the quincunx aspect. The quincunx (or inconjunct as it is sometimes referred to in more common parlance) is an aspect of adjustment, with issues of timing and sacrifice coming to the fore. If we’ve ever had love surface at a particularly inopportune moment, or missed a connection with somebody due any variety of circumstantial factors, than we can certainly relate to this potential facet of the retro. Despite this, in my experience the quincunx has the ability to be a game-changing paradigm-shifter, which does align rather well with Venus Rx’s natural tendency to re-appraise matters. Things are in a state of flux; there will likely be indecision over whether to act or hold. But any discomfort we feel will eventually prod us to make a shift. Exactly what this shift will be, though, is something yet to be determined…