the purpose of a fantasy to do list is to start thinking beyond all of the many obligations that abound long enough to envision what life might look like with a little added refrains of fun. items on these lists have a strange way of slipping out of the hypothetical world and into our real lives! just try it. you’ll see.

to play along:

just scurry over to your own blog or facebook page and create your own list (however long or short) of things you would love to do. don’t let time or resources hold you back.

then, for those who have blogs, i’ll link from my blog to yours so we can all be inspired by each other’s lists. whether you’re playing along on facebook or on a blog, let me know if you accomplish a fantasy “to do,” in the coming weeks so i can give you a shout out on my blog!

living situation: I live with Scott, my husband of almost 16 years, and our daughters Madeleine (12) and Sophie (9). Our furry children, Millie and Henry, are portuguese water dogs.

occupation: stay at home mom and part time student

how do you structure your time and space? On weekdays, I get up around 6:45 to help get the kids out the door for school. Tuesdays and Fridays are typically days to go to the grocery and make my all-time-favorite Target run. To some, my days may sound rather mundane, but I am never bored. There is never enough time in the days and weeks! I have recently come to understand myself as the CEO of my home. This realization gives me great pleasure, and in a strange way, I feel rather powerful. My kids adore their father, and he is hands-on and helpful, but they usually come to me with their needs and concerns. Maybe Madeleine and Sophie rely on me for everything because I am their fellow female. But Scott relies on me too! I find myself saying things such as, “No, I do not know where you put your wallet!!!”

I try extremely hard each week to make sure I am taking care of me in some way while my children are at school and Scott is at work. Once they get home, it’s all about them. I allow myself an hour each morning to have my coffee and watch the Today show. I am enrolled part time at University of Memphis, where I am working on my Bachelor’s degree in Child Development. Going to school has given me the opportunity to use my brain for something other than managing my household, and it has also helped shine a light on my path which has often seemed blurry. I go to a dream-interpretation group once a week with some very wise and interesting ladies. I also attend a study group at my church every Thursday that I can. I also try every week to connect with a friend by having coffee or lunch. I have learned that my friends feed my soul, and in order to stay connected with them, I have to reach out. It’s just that simple.

Sometimes there are just days I do not have it in me to be a mom. I do not beat myself up about it. My kids are old enough now that they understand when I tell them I just cannot be present at this particular time. I lean on Scott and he comes through for me during these times. I just tell them the truth; I don’t dance around it. I think my kids appreciate that about me. I think I am teaching them how to speak up and say out loud what they are feeling. I hope I am teaching them the value of verbally expressing their needs.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have felt for quite some time now that I am in between the seasons of winter and spring. I can see the buds of new growth. I can smell the new air. I can hear the birds making their way back, but I am just not quite there. It’s a wonderful place to be but it’s also frustrating. I feel this overwhelming sense of something I just cannot give a word to. I know that there is a new path for me that goes beyond motherhood. I can feel it. But, I still don’t know what it is, and that is very frustrating. I am so envious of women who know exactly what their gifts are and how to share them with the world. I know being in school is the right path, but sometimes I wonder what in the world I am doing! I am trying to discern what my spiritual gifts are and allow my spirit to guide me.

My daughters are growing up both physically and emotionally. Madeleine is twelve and her hormones are surging. She is having a tough year at school and that just breaks my heart. I am finding that watching my girls grow up so very quickly is taking quite a toll on me emotionally.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before this season, I was in a dark and gloomy winter. I struggled with depression in my twenties and thirties, but the past few years have brought a different struggle that has been just as painful as depression. My health took a strange and frightening turn. My kids were going through all sorts of new phases that were no fun at all. My marriage was going through growing pains. Part of my family moved back to Memphis which brought about all sorts of new and unexpected challenges. But, I’ve come to realize that it is during these hard times when I learn something new about myself. I make it to the other side and feel a sense of accomplishment, and I also feel just a bit wiser.

favorite family activity/activities: We love our girls. We love taking them on trips. We love taking them to Broadway shows at the Orpheum. We love listening to all their stories. They are our inspiration. We look at them sometimes and cannot believe our love made these two fabulous beings.

favorite solo activities: I love to read, see movies, and travel, but my favorite pass time is enjoying time with friends and family. Scott and I both love to cook and eat, so any time we are with friends and family, it involves yummy food. We also really enjoy wine and love coming across a fantastic $12 bottle! Scott and I live a quiet life. We spend most of our time with each other. We love to go on dates. We try to have date night every week.

sources of inspiration: Besides my daughters, I am inspired by women who know who they are and what they want. I am inspired by my mother-in-law who is the wisest person I have ever known. I am inspired by my mother who never ever complains. I am inspired by my very eclectic group of girl friends. I am inspired by nature in particular trees and birds. I am inspired by people who always see the glass half full.

best MakeShift moment: I am sure this is not all that creative but it is a memory I have that always makes me smile.

When Madeleine was a toddler I could not provide enough entertainment for her. She was always ready to play! This was exhausting! There was a day that I just needed her to be occupied with something other than me. I gave her all my makeup, and for one whole hour she sat in the middle of our porch in the backyard and covered her little body from head to toe with lipstick, eyeliner, shadow, blush, and powder. It took forever to wash it all off, and I feel certain there are still make up stains on that porch to this day.

We do not need to personally entertain our children all of the time! Just give them a box of makeup and let their imagination take over!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

occupation: I am still trying to figure this one out, but at the current time, I am working full-time for my father’s company. We are a municipal utility company, which means we dig ditches and put in water and sewer lines for cities. I am mainly in the office but would prefer to be out with the crews. I can drive a dump truck and operate an excavator and a front end loader. I am also the safety director and an Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) trainer.

how do you structure your time and space? Basically, we do the best we can and some days better than others. Shawn is the director of bands for Starkville schools so this keeps him very busy in the fall and spring. I am in awe of his passion and drive, and the amazing job he does. We are very fortunate that we live in a city that appreciates the necessity for music in education.

Margaret Ann attends daycare which is associated with the public school system. She loves her “school” and is such a people person. I work in Columbus, which is 30 minutes from Starkville, so I leave around 7 a.m. and return around 5 p.m. I do have someone who comes twice a month to clean our home, or else we would live in a pile of dirty dishes, dirty clothes, and dog hair!

Tennis is my choice for exercise, socializing and competitive sport. I try to play twice a week. I believe that it is the competitiveness that feeds my soul. Oh, how I love to win!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? We are busy just like other famlies. We provide a loving home, spend quality time with our relatives, and in the mean time, try to find some time for ourselves to rejuvenate our souls. I finally feel that I am moving away from the winter season of my life.

-What season(s) preceded this one? I was sleep deprived, lost, depressed, and physically sick for about the first two years of Margaret Ann’s life. With love and patience and therapy, here I am: well, energized, and better equipped to figure out my roles as wife, mother, housekeeper, cook, and employee in the family business. I am usually a very structured person but have learned that if I quit trying to make everything perfect and be a supermom, life can be really fun. Do I accomplish this daily? Hell no.

favorite solo activities: Spending time with good friends and drinking red wine, tennis, driving down Mississippi back roads, and going to Target. (Target is now quite a treat since my current city doesn’t have one.)

sources of inspiration: honest friends, good red wine, laughter

best MakeShift moment: This is not a great MakeShift moment but I had the best intentions! The night before my daughter’s birthday party, I was preparing food, and we were anticipating the arrival of the “aunts” (my good friends) from out of town. I set Margaret Ann up with a rented movie and some popcorn while I washed grapes and ran around in the kitchen. After about five minutes, I realized I hadn’t heard from her in a while.

Well, I had rented Bambi.Yes I know it has a sad beginning, but I thought I had started the movie way ahead of Bambi’s mother becoming someone’s trophy. (I have since learned that Walt Disney has a tragic scene in all of its movies. Do we really need to have an evil woman or an absent mother to have a fairytale ending????) Anyway, I rounded the corner from the kitchen to see her in her chair, surrounded by popcorn and grapes, with huge tears streaming down her face. She looked at me and asked, “Why did Bambi’s mommy go away, and what happened to his daddy?” I just stood there with the holy crap what have I done look, but as I started to explain, the “aunts” swooped in the front door, and Margaret Ann’s sadness disappeared.

Sometimes, friends can become the MakeShift we need in our lives!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

living situation: I live with my husband, son who is 16, and daughter who is 13. I am lucky to live in the same town as my mother and my brothers and their families.

occupation: Mother/Part-time lawyer

how do you structure your time and space? I was a full-time lawyer before I had my children. I was fortunate to be able to stay home with them for about ten years. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. I had an opportunity to go back to my firm about five years ago, and they let me be part-time. The timing was right for me and I am glad to have the adult interaction, a little income, and the sense of pride that comes with doing the job well.

I don’t think part-time allows one to “have it all”. I took myself off any partnership track, I make less than one might expect, and I have to deal with people who make snide comments when I leave at 2:30 to go to carpool line. However, I do have some income, I have the satisfaction of knowing my input helps and makes a difference at the office, I have a sense of pride in having the job I do. Everyone knows that my children and my family are my top priorities and the job only works for me as long as it works for my family.

The biggest thing for me is learning to say “no” and not feel guilty. I am better at the first but still struggling with the second.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I am in the season of contentment right now. My children are both in good places right now and are happy and settled in school. They are fairly independent, but still share with my husband and me. My husband and I are best friends and enjoy having more time together. I have a job that allows me flexibility. I am thankful for facebook and text messaging to be in touch with friends.

-what season(s) preceded this one? The season of uncertainty. I had decisions about what schools my kids would attend, whether I would go back to work, how would I make some type of activity for me fit in with the focus on motherhood I want.

-what season(s) might your future hold? The season of wonder. I wonder where my kids will go to college, what they will do and whom they will love. I wonder how my mother will manage without the love of her life. I wonder what my husband and I will do with an empty nest. I wonder if I will want to work more—I doubt that.

favorite family activities: Going to dinner, going to the lake, just being together.

favorite solo activities: Reading, knitting or smocking, playing on the computer.

sources of inspiration: My parents, my husband and my kids.

best MakeShift moment: The best makeshift moments for me are when friends and I collaborate to shuffle our respective children (who are also friends) to their various and conflicting activities so that we don’t have to be two places at once.

I also think that cell phones have transformed motherhood. I used to sit in carpool line and use that time to talk to friends without feeling like I needed to be playing with a child, cooking dinner, or doing laundry. It was time that worked for phone calls.

if you or someone you know would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the sidebar to your right for pages about the nomination process.