I feel as if I have just had an aha moment. I recently had the pleasure of being surrounded by such a wonderful group of people are just like me except totally different. It's one thing to go through the motions of everyday life and feel like a freak. I mean it has never really bothered me before. I found that being surrounded by these wonderful people was the first time I have truly felt relaxed in such a long time, that I found myself perplexed in how to handle it. It took some getting used to.

While I just sat and watched most of the night I was drawn into the energy of everyone around me. Seeing all the different styles between the partners was interesting and somewhat educational for me. I got to see my first needle play scene and that gave me a whole new level of respect for those that can do it. I was able to watch wonderfully beautiful sensual top and I found that the energy they produced was like nothing I have ever experienced before.

So to all of you there....thanks for welcoming me. I felt like me. I felt normal. :)

I would also like to thank those of you that allowed me to test out various methods of torment/pleasure. I am still black and blue and I love it. I also found that there is a fine line between pain and a giggle if either are received in the right way. I found the whole experience like that of a thunderstorm. Lightening being the initial strike and the thunder being the lovely ripples of that pain radiating throughout the body. It is hard for me to explain it any other way besides that. An intense beautiful cleansing thunderstorm.