"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Friday, August 20, 2004

What's up this weekend?

Well, I got some work down today in the office, and I'm on track to get a decent amount done this weekend. I have set up a few easy ones for tomorrow and then Sunday I will go into the office and do a few harder ones. Tonight I went and got my hair cut. I told the woman to do something to make me look younger. For those of you who don't know, I tried to ask a girl out not too long ago and was rejected because I was too old for her. I'm only 24...plus I lied and said I was 22 so that was extra insulting. In any case, I have somewhat spikey hair now. Let's see how that works. If I were a betting man I would say it isn't going to help me get a woman...as I left the mall not one teenage girl turned her head to admire the new young hottie walking by.

Tomorrow, after I write up a few schedules I am going to the Men's Wearhouse to buy a couple of shirts since I'm out until Monday night when I can pick up my dry cleaning. Then I go and check out a room in a house that I might end up renting. Saturday night I might make the dreaded trip to the local club to be thoroughly ignored by women who I generally don't even find attractive anyway. I sometimes wonder if I suffer from some genetic trait that causing me to remain alone. Sunday I will work in the office and barring anything coming up, I will go to Hooters for Dinner and try to find a girl there and then go check out Garden State at the theater which I have been dying to see for months now.

I've been doing my usual pining for Emily most nights. I can still hear her sweet voice from time to time, but invariably it isn't saying anything good to me. I don't know what to do...I don't even know where she is, just that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I have to wonder if I'm the horrible person that she thinks of me as. I have to wonder if I'm so unstable that she is right not to want to be near me. Professionally I'm about as stable as stable can be, but emotionally I suffer from a stability worse than I ever could have imagined. My steadfast anchor, the rock that I am tied to is my longing for my sweet angel. Stability isn't all that its cracked up to be...of course, that probably isn't the type of instability I would be accused of, but it's a nice way to get around dealing with the question.

For anyone curious...my recommendation of the week is Willie Nelson's "Greatest Hits; and some that will be." "I'd have to be crazy" comes to mind.