Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And no, I'm not talking about anyone else. I'm talking about myself. Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize you are a disgusting, vile person. It's really ugly when you realize you have such hatred, such bitterness, such pettiness, such selfishness in you. I mean, you aren't a bad person as far as the world is concerned....you don't drink, you don't smoke, you love your family, you go to church.

BUT, inside your heart is awful. How could anyone love you? How could someone die for you? At that moment, I was overwhelmed that Jesus would come to this broken world & die for me so that I might be saved. I don't deserve that...never in a million years. I'm so nasty, so evil, so flawed...yet God showers me with His Grace....Grace undeserved. Jesus' blood covers my sin, my evil.

And even more unthinkable is that He takes this broken, nasty person & make something beautiful out of it. He uses me, in my awful state, to bring glory to Himself. He works all things out in this life for His good! All I have to do is admit I'm sinful & ask His forgiveness. That sweet sweet forgiveness, that He pours on me so readily. And then He blesses me again & again. Despite myself, He has blessed me with 3 beautiful kids, with a wonderful, loving, patient husband, a wonderful family & a great church family. I don't deserve any of it! It's Grace! God's wonderful, bountiful, undeserved, incomprehensible grace!

Only God could take an awful, nasty, petty, flawed person and turn her into something beautiful, broken but beautiful! All I can do is Praise HIM!!