Pages

28 July 2008

It’s been a while since my last post, never thought i’d blog again. but as fate would have it, i’m back. and hopefully not for good. faithful readers of the two-year rollercoaster ride that is the Misadventures of Roni G! might notice a trend, 10% sarcasm, 10% achievements, 80% depression.so what’s up Roni G?! I’m depressed, yet again, that’s what’s up.

how nostalgic the ambience: 10:48, a quiet evening, john mayer’s voice as my soundtrack, a bleeding heart, and a half-empty blog. maybe i was destined to be lonely to rekindle my play on words. only time will tell.

so what gives? i was searching for my article “someday i’ll get it right” thinking a glance in the past would provide answers for the present. apparently not. i still can’t figure out what i’m doing wrong.

and so the rain pours hard on the roof bringing a sense of companionship to this insanity. i guess the heavens are synchronizing it’s tears to mine. at least im not alone.

i’m dying to storytell my way out of my miseries but i just can’t. anonimity might not be enough to protect the involved. jumbled words and metaphors might work but i have to be extra cautious. the battle against angst and patience continues. either way, i have to endure the pain. ever the martyr no one understands. not even the closest one at hand. a burden only me truly appreciates. and with that i can find peace.

now in a mindset of “take it or leave it” approach that i know will never work. who am i kidding? it’s more like “take it” or “leave it and i’m walking after you.”

a sense of home is felt as i savor the taste of depression. a sense of urgency to get myself out of a home that bred my loneliness and only has a few entries to be proud of…