*Single Moms Club*

9 weeks pregnant! I want to keep my baby

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tacarter wrote:

My boyfriend wants me to abort my child, he threatens to leave me if I don't do it. Im 20 with a college degree and looking for a job. Hes 25 and still in school. I don't believe in abortions, and this could be the best to ever happen to me! Just need advice about this.

You are a young lady but you won't be the first young mama out there. Abortion is a fair options for many women but it is definitely not the easy way out as it seems. It is often very traumatizing. If you feel like you want to keep your baby don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm 30 and I'm sure my daughters father would've appreciated the same. Easy to say when you're scared and you don't have to be the one to do it! Many men have that reaction.

Im 20 as well, went through the same thing you're going through. As of right now i am already 32 weeks! I did not let my Ex decide the fate of My baby. He threatened to leave, so i let him go. Being a single monther is difficult and scary but im pushing through, there's so much help out there for young single mothers. Don't feel trapped! Specially dont feel like you need the dad in the picture. If he wants you to abort that baby then he doesn't not love you. That baby growing inside of you is a piece of both of you! Don't decide to end the babys life just because your boyfriend feels like hes not ready. The baby didn't choose to be formed, you guys did that. Time to accept reality and take responsibility mama.

Don't rely on him to make the choice about your body. I did that when I was 21. And now I am 32 and getting pregnant as a Single Mom by Choice. Also spending like $5k so far trying to get pregnant. You have completed your college degree which is one less thing in the picture to have to complete. But believe in yourself and you are fully capable! Also there are Single Mothers by Choice or Chance groups on facebook that have been huge supports. Look into it I wish you the best in doing what is right for you!!

It is does not sound like you and your boyfriend have a very stable relationship. This might be a good time to move forward with your life and let him move on with his. These kind of situations can get quite ugly. It would be in your best interest to talk and try to resolve the problem, but if you cannot come to a conclusion, then you need to move on and do what is best for you and your baby. Seek help from your family and friends, support group or even co- workers. I will pray for you, my family has been in this same circumstance before too.

I'm a 22 (almost 23) year old young woman who was full of life. I had a social life, worked two jobs, in school to become a nurse and had a whole life planned out for me to at least not have a child until I was 25 or at least in love and married. This past August, I had met the man I thought would be the man of my dreams... tall, dark, handsome & in the Air Force. I mean, my heart fluttered when I saw that man inside of the grocery looking so future husbandish to me. Well, we exchange numbers and we hang out from there. The same day we hung out and talked about everything where I had learned he was 25 going on 26 and he already had a daughter that was 2 and he was recently divorced from his wife. I obliged and gave him the benefit of the doubt because I was so intensely attracted to him. A month obviously passes and we're passionate about eachother, we're cooking dinners, staying the night at each others homes, going on dates and he even picks me up from the airport when I came back from visiting a friend in New York. That same day I had stepped off the plane... I got pregnant. Well I realized early on something was weird about my body, because I was over emotional or not emotional at all, I had headaches, and my breast hurt so bad that I would have to sleep in a bra and that was not like me. So a couple weeks goes by and I decided that I would take a test after I got off from my second job... well, I live with my little sister in a townhouse w a cute 2 year old boxer boy and she was upstairs getting ready for evening and I was about to yell... "GOOD NEWS CASSIE, IM JUST FAT" until I saw a faint line pop up. I started to trip out so I called her down to come take a gander at the test and she said "idk if I can really see anything, here take this first response one" and she gave it to me. After finally peeing on the first response one, a faint line pops up. I take in all the advice I could get to make sure I would be doing the right thing and making the right decision... but tell my bd while he was at home in California for his Air Force leave was not the right decision at the time. So I quickly tell my mother and tell my friends... then finally worked my way up to my aunts then my grandma (which I'm very close to). Finally on Monday I went to the health department to see if the tests were just messing with me or not and long behold... the nurse says "you are indeed pregnant". I'm Native American so my OB/GYN is located in a small town an hour outside of my current residents, so I buckled up and drove down to the clinic to make sure they weren't messing with me. When I got there I did my Urine and long behold the other nurse says "you're pregnant!" It still didn't feel real, and it doesn't. Well I tell my bd to call me that same night because I had to tell him something important & he didn't... so I tried to call him. No answer, per usual... so I texted him and told him to call me when he had a chance and the next day (Tuesday) he calls me and asks what's the fuss about. I explain to him he's going to be a father again & he says "why do you want to keep this baby in our messed up situation?" At this point I had already told my family so abortion was out of the question. He kept insisting we go half on a abortion & I kept telling him "NO THIS IS MY CHILD"... there's more to this story, but so little time. But all in all, I was seeing a liar who told me he was "legally separated from his wife", and now he's happening to reap what he sows... do I feel bad about it? Nah, because any man who can openly want to rid of his own DNA is a selfish, narcissistic bafoon. I watched videos on the abortion and made myself sick from wanting to destroy something so innocent. I thank God everyday since I found out that I have such a supportive family that I can afford to have this baby or have the support at all costs. But I am kind of happy to be a single mother. I answer to no one but myself, my embryo and God :)

Girl!!! Our story is soooo similar!!! I'm glad u decided to follow your first mind & keep your baby!!! & it's very good you have a good support system!! No matter what he says, u made the right decision

Good for you. Have your baby! He's being manipulative. He needs help from a professional counselor. No matter what anyone else says, you and your baby share a special bond. I'm glad you're keeping your baby!

I am so sorry for the situation that you find yourself in about your boyfriend ultimatum. I agree with you that no one take it another person’s life for any reason. Maybe your boyfriend is afraid to face a big responsibility to have a child. Take it a life won’t solve anything. It is the reverse will complicate everything and you will take the guilty to kill an innocent your whole life. He is hearing the voice of his fears. Having a son or daughter always will be a blessing in your life. As you say in your post: ‘This is the best ever happen to you’. I encourage you to keep up in your determination of having your son/daughter.

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