Does anyone have a good falafel recipe that translates well to baking or just regular pan-frying? I don't do deep frying at home, so whenever I try making falafel, it ends up all crumbly and pathetic.

Also, yeah, what mr. drusus said. Veggie burgers are not fake hamburgers. They're a completely different thing, so all y'all are sounding like those fussy little babbys who order hamburgers at Chinese restaurants.

Shouldn't that be rice burn?

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette

I haven't made veggie burgers before (at least not in recent decades), so I don't have any recipes, but I love veggie burgers and eat them a lot; and these two look good, so I want you to try them and report back.

Reporting back. I made the wannabe Morning Star one and although the flavor was excellent, the texture was mushy. If I make them again, I'll do a very flat crispelle type thing so there's at least as much external crunchiness as there is internal softness. I made the patties and refrigerated them for a couple of hours so they stayed together while I was cooking them, but they definitely want to crumble and fall apart. I found myself sort of squishing them together with the spatula as they cooked to ensure they didn't break up.

Welp, it took me 4 years but I finally made a genuinely delicious veggie burger. Okay technically it's bean burger and not a veggie burger because I used Worcestershire, but close enough. I eyeballed the bread crumbs based on when the texture looked right like Janet told me to (except I measured them for reproduceability) and I think I added just a hair too much. There was some cracking during the cooking process. Very little, though, and nothing that caused structural damage. Next time I'll knock a tbsp off.

Sautee the mushrooms, shallots, pepper, fennel in the olive oil. Add a pinch of salt and pepper and cook until the water is released and dries up a little. Add the beans and spices and mash up. Again, cook until the mash dries up a little.

Dump it in a bowl and add the mustard, Worcestershire and Sriracha. Mix it up, taste and adjust for salt and pepper. The soybeans are incredibly bland, way blander than regular black beans, so I ended up adding like a teaspoon before I could even taste it. Add the egg, mix. Add the bread crumbs until the mixture is moist but has structural integrity. Like I said above, next time I think I'll add 3 tbsp instead of 4.

Form into four patties and cook them in a skillet, about 4 or 5 minutes per side. Put a slice of pepper jack on each when there's a minute to go on the second side. Serve on a bun (or sliced bread if you want to go in a patty melt direction) with the condiments of your choosing. I went with ketchup, dill relish and country Dijon. It was stupid good.

You are correct. They are terrible and wrong. Now, I have no problem with slices of American cheese in general for use in grilled cheeses -- they melt perfectly and the taste is classic, especially paired with properly crispy buttered bread -- but Kraft does not slice American cheese to make its singles. It does some extruded weird shit with HFC and assorted nonsense and I'm not trying to hear that. Besides, that mild flavor won't work at all with this bean burger. It'll just disappear.

There are many wonderful and exciting cheeses that are native to your fine land. If you can't find a cheese that incorporates spicy elements like hot peppers, I'm sure a sharp aged cheddar would work just fine. You can then slice it very thinly or grate it to ensure it melts properly on the burger.

Definitely not vegetarian. How many sardines died to make that Worcestershire sauce?

Quote:

Originally Posted by livius drusus

It's anchovies in Worcestershire, you evil Space bastard.

Ang's referring to the sardines used as slave labour in the manufacture of The Original and Genuine Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce. Technically legal, of course, but they work in appalling conditions for well below the UK minimum wage. But they don't complain.

Red Dragon is a nice cheese, but a little goes a long way. I bought some last Summer and ate it while I watched Hannibal because I couldn't resist the reference. I miss that, some of us AV Club commenters made a point of cooking gourmet meals on Hannibal night and it was always fun to talk about what we made.

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette