How much of what you feel do you think it yours…?

Hello and good evening my loves!! Wow, I think it’s been a while since I have written here…I had some thoughts about doing a “30 challenge” with my writing, but that hasn’t started yet. Writing has always been something that I find very therapeutic, I love to do it, always have. I decided many years ago that one day I am gong to write a book…I tried my hand at screen writing (nope), I have written several monologues, parts of one woman plays, snippets of things here and there….and, of course, this blog 😉

Needless to say, you will know when I start my writing challenge…I will be in your inbox every day!

I just finished teaching Karma class. This is a pretty small studio, so 20 people in my class is a pretty good size. We COULD fit 45 or so in there (I’ve not seen that many)…but 30, to me, is a good full capacity…alas, I digress. Before I taught, I knew I needed to ground myself and center myself for class. I had been running around, doing all sorts of things, and knew I needed to focus myself on teaching….put my teacher hat on, as it were. I set my alarm, and began my meditation. It was the longest time I have given myself for meditation in a while. Mostly I have been stealing 15 minutes here and there, and taking long savasanas. Today, however, I had almost an hour and it was perfect. On a side note, I never pressure myself into a length of time for meditation…what I have learned is some days I need 45 minutes and somedays 10 is enough. I usually set the alarm for the most time I have, that way I am not worrying about having to be somewhere or anything like that. So…today I had almost an hour and took it!

I will now get to the gist…something occurred for me that caught my attention. During my meditation, it was like I was standing by an open door and a huge gust of wind came rushing by me and as it passed, it pulled all these people out of me…and I heard the words “all the lost souls”…and the gust of wind took all the lost souls and blew them away…away from me.

I have been feeling some weird pains in my body the past few days (a couple of them for a couple weeks now) and I have a feeling that many of the aches and pains belonged to these lost souls. I am an emotionally porous person. I suck up emotions and feelings of people around me…sometimes even when it’s not people I am close to. Teaching yoga and being with all the feeling and emotions of the people in the class, I often have to make sure to brush off whatever I have picked up from others. The way I usually know it’s not mine is if I say “oh, this is WEIRD, I feel pain or emotion, etc”…it’s the WEIRD part that is important. We all have things we feel regularly, or even things we feel irregularly…but when things sneak up or are WEIRD then maybe it isn’t actually ours to claim.

I know, it sounds weird in itself…but next time you feel something (physical pain, mental anguish, anger, sadness, etc) and it feels weird to have said feeling, ask yourself “is this mine”?…if it is, fine, if not…take a breath, tell yourself “not mine” and allow it to pass.

Try it. I know, you might not be with me on this one…but you might be surprised when you start to figure out how much stuff you take on from other people!! They are sneaky, the strong ones can handle it, so the not as strong ones let their stuff float every which way and see where it lands…sneaky sneaky.

For me, this is an ongoing every day process and lesson. Sometimes I am able to brush things off immediately, sometimes I hang on to them like they are mine, sometimes I have a harder time letting go…it’s all a work in progress.

OK, kidletts…I am going to get some stuff done and then hit the hay. I am working up to telling you about another thing I have on the go right now…but that will have to wait for the best time…