Opinion: Rock Chalk Blue Devil?

You should know from the get-go, that I'm writing this column in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, approximately 18 hours, before my favorite team for the day, the Duke Blue Devils, meets up with that southern outpost of evil, the North Carolina Tar Heels and their hillbilly dictator, Roy Williams.

The three of you that read this column probably know by now that I'm a Kansas fan, have been my entire life, and I pretty much loathe Williams with every ounce of vengence my body can muster. For those of you unfamiliar, let me break it down as simply as possible: I believe Williams, who for 15 years served as Kansas' basketball coach, is perhaps the lowest form of swine because he spurned the Jayhawks for what he perceived as a better opportunity in Carolina.

On his way out the door, Williams tried to pilfer Kansas' recruits, criticized the program's ability to acquire top-notch talent and, in perhaps the unholiest of sins, slammed Kansas barbecue. I could handle all of it except the last trespass and let me say this to Droopy Dog -- I'll pit any number of Kansas BBQ pits, Arthur Bryant's, Wyandotte Barbecue and Gates come to mind -- against any grease pit from Carolina.

I've heard the phrase that it's divine to forgive, but I'm too little of a person to overlook the crimes that Dean Smith's caddy perpetrated on his way out of Lawrence. You can't mess with two of my favorite things in this world, Kansas basketball and barbecue, and expect a pardon.

Wednesday night, Duke played North Carolina at Cameron Indoor. Duke/North Carolina is college basketball's biggest rivalry. I'm predicting right here and now that Duke won that ballgame, if for no other reason than I'll be seriously irate Thursday morning if they didn't.

It's my belief that Ring-less Roy's over-hyped band of chumps (Rashad McCants and 'Everbody in Kansas depises' Raymond Felton come to mind) will melt like a popsicle dipped in a hot tub inside the brutal confines of Cameron Indoor.

I know what you're thinking, why am I paying so much attention to this ACC contest on the eve of the KU-K-State game that's also Wednesday night? My answer: there isn't much question that KU won that game and any significant ink dedicated to its preview is a squander.

The Wildcats, on the heels of losing a home game to another batch of thugs, the Colorado Buffaloes, have about the same chance against the 'Hawks as George W. Bush does of winning an elementary school spelling bee.

It's my prediction that Duke, behind the sharp-shooting of guard J.J. Redick, will send Carolina and Roy running back to Chapel Hill for a comforting spoon session with Dean Smith (who, by the way, is a Kansas native, KU grad and because of his allegiance to Carolina, a high ranking target on my all-time loathe list). All would be perfect in the world, my world at least, if this culminated with Duke students slamming Williams by chanting Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk.

That would give KU a chant in two time zones Wednesday night because you know they'll be singing it in Manhattan.