Archive for Netflix

You guys… it’s EIGHT DAYS until the witching hour. That means it’s time to carve those pumpkins, get your candy situation together, and finish up those costume ideas. Oh, and of course, watch those scary movies. Welcome once again to the Unholy Cathedral, your source for scares. I recently went on a trip to Vegas with some friends, and I figured a 4-hour flight was a perfect opportunity to check out a scary movie. I’d heard a lot of positive things about Train to Busan, a Korean zombie movie (that’s currently streaming on Netflix). Admittedly, I’m not normally into foreign flicks. I think a lot of that is just because they don’t really hit my radar. But this one kept popping up, so I figured I’d give it a shot. And I’ll concede this.. after this one, I might have to broaden my scope for horror flicks. Anyway, let’s get down to business, and check out this Korean import.

Train to Busan is the story of a separated father, Yoo Gong, and his young daughter. He’s consumed by work and wealth. She’s just looking for a loving parent. So he agrees to take her on a train to see her mother. They board the train with a solemn air between them. However, as the train doors close, another girl boards the train, unbeknownst to the conductor. A very sick girl. And as the train departs, there is a scene of chaos at the train station… This is going to be a wild, wild ride.

All Aboard! We’re going in for A Closer Look.

Villain: ZOMBIES. ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE.

How Do I Stop Them?: These are some baaad zombies. In the sense that you’re in real trouble, should this outbreak happen. These things are really fast, and really bitey. But you know what to do. Destroy the brain.

Lessons Learned: Well… the big lesson here is, don’t be a dick. Especially when you’re facing hordes of zombs. You need all the help you can get. But I’d say these Koreans really do a pretty good job fighting for their lives, given the circumstances.

Who Do I Watch With?: This movie is intense. So grab a good friend and a pizza, and enjoy this one. Make sure they’re okay with subtitles though.

Movie Trivia: Sohee, who plays the character Jin-hee, is an ex member of the famous K-POP group Wonder Girls. And if you’re not down with Wonder Girls, you’re clearly not up to speed with Korean Pop, loser. Seriously though, this movie is the 6th-highest grossing domestic film of all time in South Korea. Certainly better than their northern counterparts can produce!

Rating the Flick

Villain: 10/10. These might be the most intense zombies I’ve seen. Really really cool stuff. They’re simple in that they’re not the mostly-decayed farce that Walking Dead and others give us. Rather than trying to scare us with makeup, the director here instead scares us with really fast, aggressive zombies. It’s refreshing to see a well-done zomb.

Scare Factor: 6/10. The director here seems to make a deliberate choice not to go after the cheap jump scares, which I can appreciate. It’s always an in-your-face, heart-pounding scene. And I dig it.

Gore Rating: Moderately Bloody Machete (3/5)

For being an intense zombie movie, I actually thought the gore was a little lacking here. We don’t really get the gut-ripping, flesh-eating goodness that one expects in a movie like this. A little unfortunate, but it’s not enough to bring this movie down.

Overall Rating: 4/5 Ozzys

This really is the Crazy Train. A really strong movie. I’d say this is definitely in my top 3 zombie movies (28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead). If you don’t mind subtitles, and you’re into zombie movies, this is a great one. I also read that this is the director’s first live-action movie, having done some animated films prior to this. And it’s a pretty strong debut, for sure. So there you have it. If you’re looking for something different, maybe give Train to Busan a spin. You likely won’t regret it.

Okay! I’m catching up on movies, and I still have one banked, so be on the lookout for that sometime this week. What’s everyone doing for Halloween? Is there anything extra spooky that I should know about? Any clever costume ideas that you’ve seen this year? Feel free to post in the comments, or tweet at me @UnholyCathedral! Happy haunting!

*creeeeeaaaaakk* Oh hello there. Please do come in. For those of you who have been here before, welcome once again to The Unholy Cathedral. But I have at least one new follower since last time, so if this is your first jaunt into the darkness, I hope your stay is pleasant… or rotten, as it were. Today we’re talking about Midnight Meat Train, a film based on a short story by Clive Barker (of Hellraiser fame, amongst others). I’d heard about this for a while, and saw that it was available on Netflix, so I gave it a.. stream? I stream blasted the hell out of it? I’m accepting ideas for new idioms referring to watching a movie. Let’s get into this before this Meat Train really goes off the rails.

A year before Bradley Cooper was in Zach Galifianakis’ Wolfpack in The Hangover, he was playing a man named Leon, who’s an aspiring photographer in New York. And like many photographers, they’re really trying to capture the gritty side of the city. You know, the parts with all the Nets fans. But he’s challenged by a successful artist to provide some photographs for her gallery, and slowly he uncovers a pattern of missing people. They’re all along a certain subway line. And as he digs further, he keeps encountering a strange man… Only one thing to do in this case. Stalk him! What could possibly go wrong?

How Do I Stop Him?: Well, the best advice I can give here is to avoid riding subways by yourself late at night. Nothing good is coming from that. It’s going to take you a long time to get where you’re going, you’re only going to meet the ultra-weirdos, and you’ll probably step in a bodily fluid of some sort along the way. But should you encounter this guy, just keep your eyes on him, don’t let him sneak up on you, and hopefully you brought a weapon to defend yourself.

Lessons Learned: The police, people. They work. I know, there’s the whole brutality thing. Whatever. But come on. If you’re tracking a dude who’s literally making people disappear, maybe you should take a step back and think things through. Also.. see the stuff above about subways. Also Subway restaurants. Jared Fogel, am I right?

Who Do I Watch With?: Here’s the thing. This is kind of a weird one. But it also has Bradley Cooper, who I’m given to understand is liked by the ladies. So I guess find a weird chick. That may apply to all movies though.

Movie Trivia: In Silver Linings Playbook, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence walk past a movie theater playing Midnight Meat Train. Also, this film’s opening in theaters was limited to only 102 “dollar” theaters, which was a major factor in its poor box office performance. And that’s the ONLY reason, trust me.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 6/10. Simple. Elegant. Effective. Nuprin. I liked the mystery behind our bad guy, and his motives aren’t really known… at least for a while. An interesting character, but there’s still room for improvement.

Scare Factor: 4/10. Certainly not the scariest thing I’ve seen. There’s some suspense, and there’s a predominant dark tone to the movie, but in terms of actual scares, they’re pretty rare. The ending is pretty interesting though..

Gore Rating: Very Bloody Machete (4/5)

A movie named Midnight Meat Train almost needs to have plenty of blood and guts, and I’d say it delivers. If blood makes you cringe, you might want to stay away from this train.

Overall Rating: 2.5 Meatball Subs

See what I did there? 😀 😀 I admit, it’s not my best work. But this is why I’m on the WordPress express, kiddos. Anyway, Midnight Meat Train lands somewhere in the middle for me. I liked the overall idea, and on paper it’s really cool. But there were parts of the movie that seemed a little forced to me, and the ending was kind of out there. But Vinnie Jones (who I recently learned played in the English Premier League) delivers a solid performance per usual, and I wasn’t entirely disappointed. If you’re a fan of horror, and looking for something a little less mainstream than your normal movies, this might be the one for you. So feel free to Netflix this so hard. Or… Roku your face off? Really need to work on that.

That’ll wrap this review up. Can I ask a favor though? I’m going to try to keep this blog going, but I want to see how big we can get this thing. Do me a favor and tell ONE person about this blog. A simple request, and maybe it’ll lead to more followers. I’m always looking for new fans (and suggestions). A friend literally told me 3 times in a row that I should see Alien: Covenant this weekend, but we’ll see whether or not that happens. I’m admittedly a little disappointed with the horror offerings lately. There’s not much that’s really catching my eye, other than It! Which, if you haven’t seen that trailer… well… I’ll just post it here for your enjoyment (for those reading in e-mail, you’ll have to go to the site for the video–deal with it).

You hear door creaking, and as the door finally gives, you hear the sound of many heavy wooden objects falling to the floor. A cloud of dust explodes around you, and you have to make your way through a seemingly-endless number of cobwebs to get to your destination. That’s right, kids. You’ve made it back to the Unholy Cathedral. Sorry for the mess… This place hasn’t been used in a while. So now that we’re nice and comfortable, let’s talk spooky things.

A friend of mine sent me a teaser for a new Netflix movie (yes, I’m back on Netflix streaming! I’m a proud member of the year 2008) that was just released this year, and it sounded pretty creepy on paper. And bad guys who wear human face masks are pretty scary. Did you see that cover? Look at that. Creepy. Anyway, it’d been a while since I sat down for a good scary movie, and last night I decided to give Hush a spin.

Hush is the story of a deaf and mute writer who’s living on her own in a wooded area, where she’s working on her book. She has some good friends who are also her neighbors, and is struggling to wrap up her 2nd novel. And even though she’s self-sustaining, her impairment leaves her in a true state of isolation from the rest of the world. But not for long.. On this night, she has company, whether she likes it or not. And this company has some sinister intentions…

Put in your hearing aids, and let’s go in for A Closer Look.

Villain: A murderous young man

How Do I Stop Him?: This guy is as human as they come. But he’s clever, and induces a lot of fear and panic into his victims prior to attacking them. So if you do run into him, be smart about it. Keep your cool. And hopefully you have a good weapon at your disposal.

Lessons Learned: For goodness sake… if your best sense is sight, and you’re looking to hide, you should find a place that allows you to see all entrances to your hiding spot. And I can understand some people wanting to live in a secluded area for peace and quiet. But if you’re deaf, it’s always quiet, no? Perhaps that’s a little insensitive. But also realistic.

Who Do I Watch With?: I think this is a pretty great horror flick for anyone interested in the genre. And it has a similar feel to The Strangers, so I’d recommend watching this one with whomever you happen to live with. Protect your home, kiddos!

Movie Trivia: The entire film was shot in only 18 days. Also, there’s only 15 minutes of dialogue in the entire run time, so there’s more than an hour of the movie without any spoken words.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 7/10. This guy is a very good, crafty, killer. But he kind of contradicts himself along the journey. There are times where he shows his innate ability to maintain control of the situation with deception, marksmanship, and general fear. But then there are times where he makes, simply put, really dumb decisions. It’s a good character, but just fell short of being great.

Scare Factor: 8/1o. Pretty creepy movie here. I thought the use of the mask was well done in this one (there’s more than meets the eye), but in general the scares start early on, and the director keeps the discomfort going from there on. You’ll be on edge a lot during this one.

Gore Rating: Moderately Bloody Machete (3/5)

Oh yes, there’s some blood along the way too. Not to the point where you’ll be entirely grossed out, but it’s there. And I think it’s just the right amount for a movie like this. It brings the gravity of the situation to light, but isn’t excessive.

Overall Rating: 4/5 Silencers

Because you’ll never hear it coming. Hush is a really strong movie. The storyline is entirely self-explanatory, and they don’t really set up a long plot line. Which, in this case, works great for it. GOING ON RECORD: I don’t love when horror movies go through elaborate stories and essentially make a mystery about the motives of the beast, and then “uncover” the means to survive/kill it. Movies that do this well: Hellraiser, The Omen, The Conjuring. Movies that don’t: Van Helsing (ugh), recently Sinister II, The Gallows.

Anyway, back on track… Hush just brings a very personal, “in-your-face” kind of terror. And the threat is very realistic, so I think the scares are legitimate. It’s a solid flick, but I think it just needed to be a liiiiitttle scarier to bring home a 4.5 or 5 rating.

That’ll wrap up this review, but if you have Netflix, give it a try sometime! One of my more loyal listeners has been pushing more creepy video games my way, so eventually there may be some of that coming. But also, coaster season starts this week, so maybe I’ll write some things about that as well. In any case, I’ll try to keep the content coming at your source for all things scary.