Second, he called on Bill Clinton to resign after he admitted his affair.

Third, he had this to say when trying to trample on gay people's civil rights, "Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment, I would simply point out that marriage, and the sanctity of that institution, predates the American Constitution and the founding of our nation."

Ok, to the story:

Ensign reaches out to his good friends the Hamptons, who both worked on his campaign because their house had been broken into. He lets them, and their children stay with him, his wife and their children for awhile. He then decides to fuck Mrs. Hampton.

His wife finds out after reading his text messages. She confronts him. He sends a letter to Mrs. Hampton, containing, among other things, "Plain and simple, it was wrong; it was a sin. God never intended for us to do this. I walked away from Him and my relationship with Him has suffered terribly. I know He love me and I know He loves you. He wants to restore Darlene and me and He wants to restore Doug and you." He then continues to fuck her for six more months.

He wrote the letter after an "intervention" was staged by other Republican senators, including Tom Coburn. Coburn, who has also built a career on passing moral judgments, stated, "If you look at it in the light of everybody makes errors, at least he fessed up and resolved the problem with his family; so I think it speaks well of his corrective force." Of course, Ensign only "fessed up" after Mr. Hampton told him he had sent a letter to Fox News.

Mr. Hampton most likely went to Fox News, because he believed they were the most "fair and balanced" network. Fox promptly sat on the information and did nothing.

Ensign's parents then paid $96K to the Hamptons, most likely in an attempt to keep them quiet.

It goes on and on. What a piece of garbage.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:11 pm

the meanCertified O.G.

Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6500
Location: philly/sacto/kauai/ohio

NAME: Mark Sanford
OFFICE: Governor, South Carolina
PARTY: Republican
OOPS: Cheated on his wife with a woman in Argentina.
RESIGNED?: No
SPOUSE AT PODIUM?: No
INTERESTING TWISTS: Fiscal conservative who tried to refuse stimulus money for his state added trip to Argentina on the state's dime to get busy with a woman not his wife.

After his wife kicked him out, he told her he wanted to reconcile and would spend time reflecting on their marriage. He then immediately bought a ticket to Argentina and lied to his staff, saying he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day.) Left his state ungoverned without a way to contact him.

Claims he needs "God's Laws" to keep him from fucking women not his wife.

Delivered the most rambling speech in recent memory this side of Sarah Palin's "I quit" speech.

Favorite Sanford quote, "The issue of lying is probably the biggest harm, if you will, to the system of Democratic government, representatives government, because it undermines trust, and if you undermine trust in our system, you undermine everything."

Oh, and this email to the woman, "I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light -- but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."

Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:17 pm

futuristxen

Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19377
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt

the mean wrote:
Oh, and this email to the woman, "I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light -- but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."

Ha. That's awesome. I hope I never get embroiled in a sex scandal, because the things I write are way way worse than this.

You left out the whole C-Street, Cult Family thing by the by.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:56 pm

the meanCertified O.G.

Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6500
Location: philly/sacto/kauai/ohio

Are you talking about "The Fellowship?"

Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:31 pm

Travadone

Joined: 05 Mar 2009
Posts: 2977
Location: LI(f)E SUCKS (The Album)

Mrs.mean left her period undies at my place.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:36 pm

the meanCertified O.G.

Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6500
Location: philly/sacto/kauai/ohio

Don't flatter yourself, Trav.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:42 pm

Travadone

Joined: 05 Mar 2009
Posts: 2977
Location: LI(f)E SUCKS (The Album)

the mean wrote: Don't flatter yourself, Trav.

sorry mean. That was a lame attempt by me.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:04 pm

Jared Paul

Joined: 15 Jul 2002
Posts: 3719
Location: www.PrayersForAtheists.org

The ridiculousness of these people is AMAAAAAZING. It never ends.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:56 pm

xGasPricesx

Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 1593

Haha, I really like this thread. Keep em' coming.

Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:59 pm

mancabbage

Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 9273
Location: london

a while back my dog went in this bush, by a childrens playground and there was a man in there hiding having wank.

DO YOU SEE?????

Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:46 pm

Confidential

Joined: 23 Jan 2004
Posts: 2040

Bullshit.
Obama looks towards a lady's ass and yall say either; it was taken out of context and he wasn't really looking that way or; he should be looking that way or else he's an overloard.

The "liberal" media says that the difference between a democrat scandal and a republican scandal is that republicans are promise keepers and therefore are hypocrates.

To me this is completely distracting from the fact that it doesn't matter who the hell is in office because we are at war. And the war isn't over so why should we revel in a republican's sex scandal when innocent people are dying at home and abroad?

So we have an Obama... so fuckin what. We haven't won shit unless you think a stimulus package for the midlle class is winning. People are dying. The spy tactics on us hasn't changed. So what the fuck are we celebrating?

That the democrats won? That the republicans are embarrased?

Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:06 am

poisonfree

Joined: 23 Aug 2002
Posts: 1525
Location: Macramento

Quote: To me this is completely distracting from the fact that it doesn't matter who the hell is in office because we are at war. And the war isn't over so why should we revel in a republican's sex scandal when innocent people are dying at home and abroad?

Cuz this be the internet.

welcome.

Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:18 am

erich

Joined: 15 May 2005
Posts: 3048

lol @ CONFIDENTIAL

this is great stuff.

Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:20 am

xGasPricesx

Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 1593

Confidential wrote: Bullshit.
Obama looks towards a lady's ass and yall say either; it was taken out of context and he wasn't really looking that way or; he should be looking that way or else he's an overloard.

The "liberal" media says that the difference between a democrat scandal and a republican scandal is that republicans are promise keepers and therefore are hypocrates.

To me this is completely distracting from the fact that it doesn't matter who the hell is in office because we are at war. And the war isn't over so why should we revel in a republican's sex scandal when innocent people are dying at home and abroad?

So we have an Obama... so fuckin what. We haven't won shit unless you think a stimulus package for the midlle class is winning. People are dying. The spy tactics on us hasn't changed. So what the fuck are we celebrating?

That the democrats won? That the republicans are embarrased?

Wow.

Sun Jul 12, 2009 1:19 am

outpatient

Joined: 07 Jul 2005
Posts: 475
Location: haggis and scotch eggs

Confidential wrote: Bullshit.
Obama looks towards a lady's ass and yall say either; it was taken out of context and he wasn't really looking that way or; he should be looking that way or else he's an overloard.

The "liberal" media says that the difference between a democrat scandal and a republican scandal is that republicans are promise keepers and therefore are hypocrates.

To me this is completely distracting from the fact that it doesn't matter who the hell is in office because we are at war. And the war isn't over so why should we revel in a republican's sex scandal when innocent people are dying at home and abroad?

So we have an Obama... so fuckin what. We haven't won shit unless you think a stimulus package for the midlle class is winning. People are dying. The spy tactics on us hasn't changed. So what the fuck are we celebrating?

That the democrats won? That the republicans are embarrased?

who can post on a messageboard at a time like this!?!!

Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:44 am

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