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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Today I reintroduced wheat. Obviously, wheat is a biggie. I sort of have the feeling that if Bubby does in fact have an intolerance to something I am eating it's going to be something I eat quite a lot. Like wheat. Or eggs. Or soy. Dairy may play a part in it, because he did do better without the dairy. Just not good enough.

We went to Costco last night and I picked up some of the Dave's Killer Bread. At the risk of sounding totally dorky it is, um, killer. I love this bread. They have another variety at Costco, but I prefer the Good Seed bread. It's hearty and tastes delicious. Beanie likes it too, although recently she has decided she doesn't like crust on her bread anymore. I don't know where she got that, but I'm hoping it's just a phase.

So this morning for breakfast I had some Good Seed bread with the Earth Balance vegan soy-free "butter" on it. Boy, it hit the spot. I like bread. A lot. Which is part of why reintroducing wheat is such a biggie to me. Being able to have wheat would open up a lot of things in my diet. You do have to do a lot of label reading though, because quite a few breads have dairy and soy in them.

Things seemed to go well with the reintroduction of tree nuts. We did have a rough day over the weekend and Bubby did have one mucousy poo yesterday. But, he also seems to be fighting a bit of a cold and he's drooling up a storm (I actually now do see two little bottom teeth under his gums -- not the same white spots as the other day though). I also had quite a few of those muffins over the weekend and had a huge over supply of milk which probably caused him some discomfort as well.

It's all kind of a mind game. I am hoping something will stick out and we'll have an ah-ha moment. At the same time, there are so many other things going on it might be hard to tell. And, Bubby can't exactly tell us what's going on. I don't want to feel like this elimination diet is for nothing if we don't have that ah-ha moment. He did show improvement while I was on the two week elimination. I hope he keeps showing improvement and that, if there is an underlying food cause to his discomfort, it shows itself readily. Who knows? I guess the next few weeks will let us know.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ever since we've moved in to this house there's been a resident squirrel who frequented our backyard. My stepmom told Beanie she always called squirrels Joe Squirrel and henceforth our resident squirrel had a name.

The other day we were all out in the backyard while Glenn was BBQing. Beanie was running around and, all of the sudden, stopped, pointed at the grass and said there was a squirrel in the grass. I looked over and told Glenn I thought there was a dead squirrel on the lawn. He didn't believe me. And then Beanie, in her three year-old-innocence, said, "He has bugs on him."

My poor girl lost Joe Squirrel. She was devastated. Very worried about him. She worried that he was hurt and sad. We explained that he wasn't hurting anymore and he wasn't sad. She talked about Joe Squirrel all night. We told her that it wasn't Joe, that it was his friend Bob Squirrel and Joe would be back to play in the yard.

Well, last night we were all sitting down for dinner when Glenn noticed a squirrel just sitting on our deck. He must've said something to me because Beanie wanted to get down from the table and say hi. Problem was, little Joe Squirrel was just sitting there. He was breathing, but he wasn't moving much. Not even when Glenn tapped on the window and opened the sliding glass door. He decided he would wake up early for work and see if we had another deceased squirrel in the yard. A bit later Joe Squirrel took off from the deck and ran across the yard. He finally made it over the fence and out of our yard. Thank goodness -- we don't need any more dead squirrels.

Except this morning I took a peek out that window and that darn Joe Squirrel is sprawled out dead under our deck chair. Now I gotta make sure Beanie doesn't look out the window until Glenn gets home and can take care of him. Because the whole dead squirrel thing makes me a bit squeamish.

Someone or something is killing the squirrels in our neighborhood. And they're choosing our yard to die in. Awesome.

Or, as Beanie would say, (I guess sarcasm is lost on a three year-old), "No, Mommy, that's not awesome.

We don't put chemicals on our lawn, but maybe one of the neighbors did and it's making the squirrels sick? I don't know, I just really don't want any more dead animals in my yard....

Monday, June 28, 2010

We've had a rough few weeks. Sometimes I feel like my life is really tough right now.

Beanie is a typical three year old -- asserting her independence, learning boundaries, developing & learning faster than I can believe. She's cute. She's loving and super sweet. But, she has her moments. Like in the grocery store parking lot when she threw herself down on the ground. Yea, you know when you think my child would never throw a tantrum in the parking lot. Yea, you're wrong.

Bubby has had a rough go the last couple months between the thrush, colic and possible food intolerance.

Glenn works a TON. Hasn't had a day off in 3 1/2 weeks and, even though I told him to go on a hike on Wednesday, I really wish I could have a little break too. Because, him not having a day off in over 3 1/2 weeks means Mama hasn't had much of a break either.

So, life's kinda tough.

SO WHAT.

My friend's son has cancer. A brain tumor. He's gone through multiple rounds of chemotherapy and just finished six weeks of radiation because the chemo didn't help. He's just a few months older than Beanie. And he has cancer. Cancer is a horrible, terrible disease for anyone. But, a three year old??? Come on world. What the hell. Reading her Caring Bridge journal breaks my heart. I almost cry just about every time I read it. My friend is so strong, her words so eloquent and her struggle so painful. My heart aches for her and her family.

Tomorrow my friend's son has his first post-radiation MRI to see if the tumor is shrinking and the cancer is dying. Please keep them in your thoughts. Pray. Sacrifice some noodles. Do whatever you do. Because he needs all those thoughts, prayers and good mojo. So does she.

Somehow nothing I am dealing with really seems all that difficult anymore.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

These cashews from Trader Joes are one of my favorite snacks. When deciding to reintroduce tree nuts first, it wasn't too hard to decide that these cashews were how I would do it. In reality, I have had tree nuts through out the course of the big two-week elimination. I've had coconut (in the ice-cream and creamer), hazelnut (in the ice-cream), and almonds (in the Zing bars).

Bubby had a rough day yesterday. He was quite fussy and had some yucky poos. There are a few things I identified as "likely suspects" after noticing what was going on yesterday. One, we started the grapefruit seed extract again on Wednesday. I am pretty sure the thrush is gone, but had noticed two small-ish suspicious looking spots on Bubby's lower gum line. Not teeth. I figured better safe than sorry and we started the GSE again. I looked back to what I had eaten the day before yesterday and three things stood out that had been different from my usual diet these last two weeks -- strawberries, tomatoes, and beef. It's not like I haven't had those at all in the last 3 1/2 months, but I certainly hadn't had them much over the last two weeks and none since we'd seen improvement in Bubby. So, I noted it in my journal and will keep an eye on it. Because he had such a rough day yesterday, I'm glad I had decided beforehand to reintroduce something I considered relatively "safe."

So, cashews it is. I had some this morning and will likely have a little more this afternoon for a snack. In four more days I'll reintroduce another allergen. I'm not going to post my diet every day anymore, but I do plan on posting about the reintroductions, how he's doing with things, and I'll definitely write about any exciting or new foods we try. I have a post in the making about the muffins (preview -- they were a hit!) but I'll have to write that when I have a good chunk of time to sit down and write.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

You know when you're pregnant and your hair is all thick and pretty. It grows fast and doesn't fall out.

Well, yea, now I'm at that post-partum stage where your hair comes out in huge clumps in the shower.

If I don't have the baby with me someone might guess I'm expecting this winter.

Nothing really fits right. Either the maternity stuff or the regular stuff.

But, you know what. I'm working on accepting this new me. It's hard, but this is me right now. Balding with about one pair of pants and two shirts that fit.

And the other day when I was wearing a maternity shirt from when I was pregnant with Beanie, a pair of jean capris (which were the second pair of pants I had on that day because I decided the first just looked way too awful), wet hair thrown back in a ponytail and absolutely no make-up on, Glenn came up to me and said, "you look nice."

My response? "Really?"

And that one comment absolutely unequivocally made my day.

I then proceeded to explain that I was wearing a maternity shirt. Glenn said he didn't care, that he liked it and it looked good.

Meals weren't too incredibly exciting today, but I did have something for dinner I've never tried before. A burger sans bun. Glenn had the idea to BBQ hamburgers for dinner and the thought of having a burger without a bun just wasn't appealing to me. But then I said maybe we could get some iceberg lettuce (I usually go for something greener like green leaf or red leaf) and then I could wrap my burger with the lettuce. It actually was really good! In fact, my eyes & stomach were telling me I wanted another, but my mind let me know it probably wouldn't be a good idea. Sure enough, as soon as I let my dinner settle a little it was clear that it was a good thing I didn't have two burgers. It was really yummy though and something I'd definitely try again.

Meals were pretty usual otherwise. Beanie and I made the muffins today. They actually turned out really well! I'll have to write up about them (and I took lots of pics!) later though -- Bubby has been relatively happy in his bouncer while I write this up, but I know that won't last and I'm ready for some cuddles anyway :)

Last night we watched my six-month old niece for a short bit. Glenn picked her up at daycare and we watched her for a couple hours until my brother-in-law got off work. So, we were taking care of a three month old, a six month old, and an almost three year old.

Glenn stayed up late so I wasn't flying solo. And my niece is just about the happiest baby I've ever met. Beanie was more than excited to entertain her for the evening.

But, you do get to that meltdown point where you have two tired babies and a toddler up past her bedtime. Two hungry and tired babies and a mommy who can't find a bottle and has little to no clue how to mix formula. Mommys of twins, I bow down to you. I mean, I guess if I had twins I'd have one on each boob, but whatever, you get the jist of what I'm trying to say. Hard work.

We got it all figured out though and then we had two tired babies with full bellies. And I think Beanie was excited to watch and extra nigh-night show.

Only two more days to go until we start reintroducing. I am really excited to start reintroducing. I guess the excitement may be short-lived if the culprit doesn't make itself easily known. I really hope that we just get some clear signs as to what it is that is bothering Bubby's tummy.

Last night I told Glenn I felt like a steak. If you know me much at all, you'd know that is really weird. I am so sick of chicken! I mean, it's good and all but I've been eating a ton. It was on sale buy-one-get-one at the store last week so, not only was it diet friendly, it was budget friendly. If anything, eating differently has caused us to spend a bit more money on food. That's why I've been trying to stick with fresh stuff and stuff that's on sale.

I didn't have a steak, but we did get some nitrate-free all-beef dinner dogs at the store. I had mine sans bun, just like Beanie.

The rest of my meals were pretty much the usual. Oatmeal for breakfast, chicken and something for lunch. We went to the co-op yesterday to get the ingredients for the muffins. I tried to pick up some of the Zing bars too, but they were sold out. The lady said they couldn't get them in, that they've been trying to order six cases at a time and zilch. So, we went across the street and I picked up a few more. They have been really good for snacks.

Gotta run to the regular grocer for a few more things for the muffins and then plan to make them before it gets too warm out. I'll post up about those later.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

We are hosting a park playdate on Friday for Beanie's birthday. I had planned to make some muffins or cupcakes for the kiddos. I lean towards muffins because I'm not really about loading a bunch of preschoolers up on sugar and then sending them home with their parents ;)

I'd like to make something I can have too. Beanie likes baking with me, but we haven't done much of it lately. I found one of our favorite recipes that would be relatively simple to substitute. I think the following is what we're going to make. I feel like maybe we should make a test batch beforehand just in case the substitutions make them gross. I hope not!

I'll be sure and let you know how they turn out.

Deceptively Delicious Cookbook - Applesauce Muffins

Nutritional Info

Fat: 1.9g

Carbohydrates: 37.5g

Calories: 179.4

Protein: 3.9g

Ingredients

* Nonstick cooking spray (will use a silicone baking pan -- I usually still spray, but ours has soy lechitin in it so I will likely use baking cups this time)

Directions

* Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Coat a 12-cup muffin tin with cooking spray or line with paper baking cups.
* To make the topping, stir together the oats, sugar, and cinnamon in a bowl. Stir in the margarine.
* To make the batter, combine the flour, oats, baking soda, baking powder, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl or zipper-lock bag and stir or shake to mix. In a second bowl, mix the applesauce with the milk, vegetable puree, sugar, and egg with a wooden spoon. Add the flour mixture slowly, stirring until just moistened. Do not overmix - the batter is supposed to be lumpy.
* Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups and sprinkle with the streusel topping. Bake until the topping is lightly browned and a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the center of the muffins, 18 to 20 minutes. Turn the muffins out onto a rack and serve warm or cold.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I lost 3.2lbs last week. While, of course, I would like to lose this baby weight I really don't want to lose it too fast. For one, that's not a good way to lose weight. And two, I don't want any rapid weight loss to affect my milk supply. 3.2lbs in one week is too much. I've been worried I haven't been getting enough protein and fat. At least not good fat. My caloric intake seems to be okay, but I think I need to go to Trader Joes and pick up some avocados or something. It has made me even more sure that a protein needs to be the thing I reintroduce first. I had wanted to reintroduce wheat first, but I really do think reintroducing a protein first is the best way to go. And, since I wasn't really consuming much fish or tree nuts beforehand I feel pretty "safe" reintroducing those.

Yesterday was pretty typical. Oatmeal and sausage for breakfast. I actually put eggs on my plate (Beanie and I made breakfast for Glenn for Father's Day) and didn't think twice about it until Glenn said, "You're going to eat eggs?" I think my mind was in about a million places while I was making and serving up breakfast and I didn't even think about it. Had a boring lunch of deli meat, chips & veggies and dinner was a salad with tomatoes, chicken and the Italian dressing. I had a bowl of Rice Krispies with rice milk for an evening snack and I also had some of the coconut milk ice-cream.

Today I've been trying to get more calories & be mindful of what they are. I had oatmeal and orange juice for breakfast (darn cold that Beanie and Bubby had seems to have caught up to me too). Snack was a Zing bar and a banana. Lunch was a chicken breast & a big salad. For dinner, Glenn & Beanie had tacos and I just had a taco salad. It was a bit dry because the only dressing we have in the house that I can eat is the Annie's Italian one and that just didn't seem to jive with taco salad. A little ice-cream for dessert.

I realized I've been blogging about what I've been eating and all, but really haven't mentioned what I've noticed in Bubby. My general thought is I seem to be doing something right. He is much happier the last few days. His tummy seems to be doing a lot better. He has normal fussy times (not too many though!) and he sure isn't screaming and crying in pain. He has a lot less slimy poo diapers. And, only a mom trying to nail down a food intolerance would be over-the-moon happy to see typical curdy breastmilk poo. We got one of those today! The first in quite awhile. He does have a bit of a cold right now, so I was really ecstatic to see that. I just feel like he is doing so much better. I hope that we can easily identify the problem food when we start reintroducing. The first few days I didn't really notice much of a difference, but I definitely have the last few days. So has Glenn. He's a happy baby. I love it.

Saturday will be the first day I reintroduce. I'm thinking of going and getting some cashews from Trader Joes. Yummy and cheap (well, cheap as far as cashews go). In actuality, I've already reintroduced hazelnuts (in the ice-cream) and almonds (in the Zing bars). I really doubt there will be a problem with cashews. And I'll be really glad to have a good source of fat and protein back in my diet.

I really feel like progress has been made! I can't wait to get on to the next step of this process.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

As Beanie sat eating a quite large piece of her chocolate with raspberry filling (her pick) Dora the Explorer (also her pick) birthday cake, she exclaimed, "Best birthday ever!"

No one asked her. She just said it. I didn't hear, but Glenn asked me if I heard her and told me what she said. I grinned from ear to ear. After opening her presents she ran around the house some more and repeated the phrase again and again.

I'm so glad for the people who came. I was bummed that so many of her friends couldn't make it; I was bummed people cancelled out last minute then night before (you get a pass if you were sick and had a fever!); I was upset with some other things too. If only you knew Beanie had been talking about her birthday party since January you would know that it was a pretty big deal. It hurt me only because I wanted my sweet little girl to have the time of her life at her birthday party.

The weather wasn't the best, but it was dry enough that we could go outside (with coats on) and the kids could run around and play. We had way too much food and way too much cake leftover. Waaaay too much cake when you figure Glenn is the only one in the house who will really be eating the leftovers. We did freeze some though.

I'm so glad that she had such a good time. We have some good friends and family who made the day very special for her. And, gasp, I just can't believe my little girl will be 3 in exactly one week. We're having a park playdate with my mom's group next Friday (crossing fingers the weather holds out for that!!) and we'll have a small celebration as a family on her actual birthday.

Yes, it looks like Beanie really will have a birthday week. And probably as soon as she turns three she'll start talking about her next birthday party :)

It's not that I forgot to eat yesterday, but with Beanie's birthday party and all it was kind of a weird day.

We went to Metropolitan Market yesterday morning because I figured if there was any chance of finding a gluten free, vegan slice of cake or something similar we would probably find it there. No such luck. I sort of figured. I was bummed to go without cake at Beanie's birthday party, but oh well. I did grab another pint of the Luna & Larry's coconut milk ice cream. I got the Mint Galactica flavor and even Glenn, who is quite the mint chocolate chip ice cream connoisseur, gave it two thumbs up. It is, in one word, delicious.

Usually I avoid samples like the plague when we're out shopping. I just assume that they likely have something in them that I can't eat. In all likelihood I am probably right about 100% of the time. But yesterday they had a TON of sampling going on at Metro Market and these bars caught my eye. I noticed immediately that the sign said Gluten free, soy free and vegan. I asked the sample lady if they were also dairy free. She said there were two that were dairy free. I reiterated, "So they're gluten, soy, and dairy free?" She said that, yes, two of them were. So, after scrutinizing the label some more I gave it a try. (***NOTE: they do contain tree nuts -- almond and coconut, but I wasn't really eating almonds much beforehand so I'm pretty sure that's not what Bubby's allergic to.***) The sample lady said they were developed by local peeps at Bastyr University and they are delicious. And, they have 10 grams of protein in a bar. There some coupons for them so I grabbed a few. I didn't even look how much they were but, at a aw-dropping $2.69 a bar, I'm glad I only grabbed a couple. I am going to go back and get more though because they'll make an excellent evening snack. Zing bars get two BIG thumbs up from me.

My diet was pretty much the usual otherwise so I'll spare you all the details.

Beanie had a great birthday party -- as she was eating her cake she exclaimed, "Best birthday ever!!!" and repeated that phrase many times. I'll elaborate more later.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I was just going to lump today & tomorrow together, but we are having Beanie's 3rd bday party tomorrow so I'd better do it separately.

Today wasn't too exciting. I tried rice milk last night & had some on Rice Krispies with blueberries for breakfast today. I baked a couple chicken breasts this morning so I'd have something for lunch. Had the chicken & rice for lunch.

We sort of had a kink in our day as we found a leak in our water pipes (luckily out in the yard towards the street and not under the house). Between that, getting ready for the party & errands dinner was sort of on the fly. Glenn & Beanie had BBQ hamburgers and I had some BBQ Chicken. I had some veggies and some of the Kettle Chips I picked up for the party. You have to look close, but quite a few chips have sunflower or safflower oil instead of soybean oil.

I found another interesting food blog. I actually happened upon it because Kellymom had posted a link on Facebook to her review of the Moby. Let's just say the review was spot on and I definitely want to take some time & look at her blog more. Here's the link:

And, totally unrelated but the RSVP's for Beanie's party are dropping like flies. Her BFF & her little sis are sick, another friend and her daughter can't make it. I know hindsight is 20/20, but the fact that so many of her friends couldn't come this weekend anyways.....I kinda wish we hadn't pushed it up to accommodate family member's schedules. Ah, such is life. I just want her to have a good time & am bummed not too many of her friends will be able to come. Feel better soon K & K. I guess it'll just make the time spent with those who are there all the more exciting.....

When the inlaws were in town, I found this place mat at Whole Foods. They're made by Crocodile Creek; they have a ton of different ones to choose from. In fact, we got her one of the solar system for her birthday. When the inlaws were in town we talked about how they were from Georgia and took a long plane ride to come visit us in Washington.

At dinner we talk about the different states and this and that. She wants to know who lives where. She knows that Grandma and Grandpa J are in Georgia and knows she has grandparents in Idaho and Montana ("Ontana" to Beanie) too. She know that Glenn lived in New Mexico for a short time when he was little and always talks about how he left the door open there (there's a picture of a pueblo with no door I think). Today she wanted to know who was in Texas and I told her that her cousin lived there. Then she pointed to California and said, "And Auntie Nee lives here." Glenn and I both looked at each other in shock. I asked if he had told her that and he said he hadn't. Neither had I. Then Beanie piped up and said, "Grandpa told me." The things she picks up on and remembers really amaze me. She is so smart.

She pointed at Canada and asked who lived there. I told her that was a country, Canada, and tried to think of someone who she knew that lived there. She said, "Oh, they have candy there." You know, in Candy-da. lol.

Now I just need to find someone who lives in each of the fifty states so I am prepared when she asks.

When I think back to the buttloads of pics that I have of Beanie her first few months I feel a bit guilty. At the same time, I realize that Bubby has been colicky & we've really had a rough few months. When he's happy he's usually sleeping, nursing, or in the Moby. When he's sleeping I am too. When he's nursing, it's kinda hard to get a good picture -- although Beanie took a pretty good one herself on my camera the other day. And in the Moby he's often pretty covered up. Now that he's bigger he's a little more visible in there. I need to figure out putting him in there facing forward or try out the Ergo pretty soon. He's pretty content snuggled up against Mama though, and so am I.

But, anyway, I do have that twinge of guilt about him being the second kid and not having as many pictures and all that. Logically, I realize that we've got a long ways to go and hopefully happier, less colicky times ahead where we will get to take loads of pictures.

Today it was the usual oatmeal and dried fruit for breakfast. I haven't noticed any problems with my oatmeal consumption (and by problem I mean enormous engorged milk jugs) until today. I think it probably has more to do with the fact that Bubby is quite congested and was having a really hard time nursing last night (and all day today) because he's so stuffed up. The thrush seems to (thank the FSM) be getting much, much better so I don't want to start dealing with other breastfeeding issues like engorgement.

Lunch was a delicious salad. I had green leaf lettuce, canned chicken (it's been sitting in the pantry FOREVER and I finally decided to use it!), sliced apples and the Annie's Italian dressing. It was yummy.

Dinner consisted of chicken, pineapple and peppers over rice. Glenn and Beanie had the sweet and sour chicken from Trader Joes and I just had a chicken breast. It was yummy.

I picked up some rice milk at the store. Going to try that tonight and see what I think. But, best find of the day was the Bob's Red Mill gluten-free, dairy-free brownie mix. Glenn found it. It does call for butter or margarine, but I will substitute Spectrum Organic Shortening. Another mom told me it worked well for baking. The mix also calls for an egg, but I'm sure there's something I can substitute for that as well...looked online quickly and saw a lot of ideas. I'm excited to make them. I'll let you know how they turn out.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Yesterday wasn't anything eventful diet-wise. We made the La Bamba casserole for dinner since we didn't the night before. Other than that, it was pretty run on the mill & similar to the previous days.

Today was Glenn's day off & he made breakfast for Beanie and I while I laid in bed with Bubby for a bit. He made omelets. Boo. I felt so bad I wanted to cry. He even remember to leave the cheese out, but either I didn't tell him I wasn't having eggs or he didn't remember. I did have some sausage and potatoes so that was a nice change from the oatmeal for breakfast every day. Lunch was pretty usual -- lunch meat, carrots and hummus and I can't remember what else. We made turkey chili for dinner. I was good and protein-rich and I hope Bubby is okay with all the beans.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Grapefruit Seed Extract (GSE) seems to be helping. I talked to a LC today and my midwife prescribed Dr. Jack Newman's All Purpose Nipple Ointment. I am hoping this puts the nail in the coffin, so to speak, as the GSE is helping things improve but I still have quite a bit of pain. All the spots in Bubby's mouth are gone so we want it to stay that way!

Day 3 was all about salad. I had my usual oatmeal for breakfast. With this thrush right now, I am finding out that a little supply boost may not be such a bad thing.

Lunch (and dinner actually) consisted of a salad and rice. The salad was delicious! I had green leaf lettuce, chilled leftover BBQ chicken (seasoned with Morton's Nature Seasons seasoning blend), chopped avocado and Annie's Tuscan Italian Dressing. The Annie's dressing is really good! I had to read the labels closely, but found one that would work for us. And it was on sale! The salad probably wasn't something I usually would've thought to throw together but it was so yummy.

I do think I need to work on getting more protein into my day. I find myself pretty hungry between meals, but don't really have any protein rich snacks to munch on. I'd usually go for nuts, but since those are out right now I need something new. I'm not usually a huge meat eater, so I don't really want to add more of that, but we'll see.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Beanie will be turning three in 2 weeks. Yes, three!!! Where the heck did the time go? Bubby is three months old today and my little (big) girl will be three in less than two weeks.

We're going to the party store today to let her pick out some stuff. She is dead set on having birthday hats. It's so cute. Last year she was excited for her friends to come over and play and all, but this year she is over-the-moon excited about it being her birthday and having a party and this and that. I'd have to say birthdays are about her favorite thing ever. It's at least once a day where she wants Glenn or I to blow out the imaginary candles, eat our imaginary cake and open our imaginary present. She's awesome.

I really wanted to do a Super Why theme for her birthday, but since it's PBS there aren't really things out there to buy. Bummer. I'm not really into a whole lot of the Disney or Nick shows. Oh well, we'll see what we can find at the store.

We are also having her party a week early because my dad, stepmom and sister are all going to be out of town the weekend of her birthday. No biggie I guess, but now a bunch of her friends can't come. Or her cousin. Boo. Kinda sucks. I am hosting a park playdate with our mom's group the next Friday so she'll get to see a bunch of her friends then. I'm going to make cupcakes or muffins or something for that.

Eek. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be three. We were just looking at pictures of her from last summer and she is so much bigger! She looks so different. I can't believe it. Time sure does fly when you're a mom.

We went to Metro Market the other night. Glenn had to do some work there so I met him there with the kids. I wandered around. Found the So Delicious Vanilla coconut milk creamer. It's really good. Just what I needed in my coffee. I've been using vanilla syrup (like for lattes) but it just hasn't been that great. It's good in iced coffees, but just hasn't been doing the trick in my morning cup of joe.

But, the most exciting find was Luna & Larry's Coconut Bliss ice cream. It's made with coconut milk -- dairy and soy free. I got the Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge one and it is so good! Really rich so I can only eat a bit at a time, but I am definitely glad I gave it a try. It was expensive -- $5.99 for a pint, but I figured it was worth it. I'm not much of a choc-o-holic so it will last for awhile.

Breakfast has been tough. I've been having oatmeal, but it has an, um, unneeded side effect for this breastfeeding mama. I definitely don't need any help in the supply department right now. In fact, it's just now really getting under control so I'm not spraying a fountain across the couch is Bubby pops off during letdown. Finding something for breakfast that is wheat, dairy, soy and egg free is tough. Any ideas?

For lunch and dinner, it's been meat, veggies and either quinoa or rice. I made the quinoa for the first time ever the other night. I'm not sure I made it right; it was sort of a last minute thing so I cooked it in the microwave. I had to cook it a lot longer than the instructions stated -- it tasted okay. I think it needs something like roasted red pepper or something in it though. Glenn barbecued some chicken for me. He made extra so I'd have leftovers for lunch today.

It actually hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be so far. I've definitely had the oh-my-god-there's-nothing-I-can-eat moments, but, for the most part, I'm feeling empowered, like I'm actually doing something that (hopefully) will let us figure out what is going on with Bubby.

I'm trying to decide exactly how long to go without all these allergens. I've read anywhere from 10-14 days. I'm thinking ten, but might just go for the whole 2 weeks to be on the safe side. I need to do a little more reading to really decide. Then I'll reintroduce one at a time. I read one every four days. Again, have to read a little more to really decide.

Not that my diet is really all that interesting, but I think I'll blog about it just for myself, and for anyone else who might find themselves in a similar situation. Hopefully I can come up with some good ideas and good food during this journey.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I told myself I wouldn't get back online this morning. I have a ton of stuff to do and things to take care of. It's T minus one week till Beanie's birthday party and I have a lot to do between now and then. But, I feel compelled to blog right now. We'll just have to make sure it's let's-write-a-blog time and not let's-check-everything-a-million-times time.

***Warning -- diaper talk to ensue***

I just changed Bubby's diaper. Inside there was one tiny speck of blood. I saw it and was immediately crushed. Yes, it was only one tiny speck. But specks are the precursor to bloody diapers. Which would signal to me that there is something more going on than just the fact that I accidentally consumed dairy last week.

I'm crushed. I'm frustrated. I just want answers. I want what's best for Bubby. And, what's holding me back from going whole hog and eliminating all the major allergens from my diet? Nothing but selfishness I suppose. I mean, I have to give up all this stuff? What the hell am I going to eat?

I wish there was some way to make this easy. I can totally see why people throw in the towel on breastfeeding now. If I wasn't really, really, really committed to making this work it would seem so overwhelming right now. Between the thrush and the food intolerances and everything....well, it is a bit overwhelming. And frustrating. Very, very frustrating.

Right now Bubby is smiley and giggly and bouncing around in his bouncer. He's happy. I want nothing more than for him to feel like that all the time. It breaks my heart to see him in pain. It stresses me out to try to figure out what is wrong with him, what I can do to help, etc etc. But, I think I've developed a plan for now. For the next week I'm going to have absolutely no dairy and no soy. I'm going to do my best to eliminate the other allergens as much as I can. It actually shouldn't be too hard, minus the eggs and wheat. So I suppose I can say I'll eliminate everything minus eggs and wheat, but be very conscious of those too. See, here's my selfishness again -- it's just eggs and wheat. Writing through this has made me realize I should just go for it. I haven't had any allergens today so it's as good of day as any to start, I guess.

I'm going to head to PCC or Metro Market today or tomorrow and shop for some stuff so I don't feel so deprived. The one thing I've really been missing is creamer in my coffee. Apparently there is a coffee creamer made from coconut milk. They also make ice-cream!!! Perfect for summertime. I'll delve into more of the tips the friend from art class told me about later. Right now I need to get back to getting things done.

If you're dairy & soy free and have some meal ideas for me, please share! Or just give me some support -- this has been quite a ride for me. I can't wait till we can figure out exactly what is going on here.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Yesterday two things became apparent to me. Two things that could explain the recent increase in Bubby's colicky behavior.

#1. The bread I have been eating for almost the last week contained dairy. Damn. I was being SO careful. Or so I thought. I had been reading every label on everything we bought. We have been eating Dave's Killer Bread which is awesome. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it. It's pretty expensive at the grocery store ($5.99 a loaf around here), but you can get two loaves for $6.99 at Costco here. Beanie eats it too -- no fake white wheat bread for this kiddo. Anyhoo, Glenn has been working a route closer to home for the last three weeks. He gets free bread there so he brought some home. Apparently I forgot to check that label because yesterday, after I had decided to keep a food journal for a few days & track the highest allergens and how Bubby reacted, I read the bread label looking for gluten, soy, and etc. Imagine my surprise when I saw

Butter (Milk).

Damnit. I was pretty ticked at first. I felt really bad. Guilty. Here I had thought I was doing such a great job and for the last 5 days I'd unknowingly been consuming dairy. I was having toast for breakfast and often a sandwich for lunch. Not an overload of bread. But still. I was consuming dairy.
Boo.

Glenn made the point when he got home that maybe it sucked that I had unknowingly reintroduced dairy into my diet that maybe it was good to know that it really could be making a difference. Thank goodness for Glenn looking at the glass as half full.

#2. Our thrush came back. Or, more likely, never left. My nipple had been a bit itchy and pink (sorry tmi), but I hadn't seen anything in Bubby's mouth. Until yesterday afternoon. It's all up under his upper lip. Definitely more than the little spot he had last time.

Double Boo.

We're going the grapefruit seed extract route this time. I've heard many people say how well it works and it's a lot less messy than Genetian Violet. I stopped at the vitamin store yesterday evening. I still need to get some distilled water, but decided starting it with our filtered water last night was better than nothing. I'm following the instructions from this article.

Wish us luck. I've heard time and again what a pain it is to get rid of thrush. I'm hoping this will be the last time we have to deal with it.

I also talked to a mom at Beanie's art class yesterday who is also dairy and soy free. (I now think that is going to be my next step). She gave me lots of great tips and ideas, but I'll have to share those later because Beanie & Bubby are getting their pictures taken today. Sssshh...don't tell Glenn -- it's a surprise.

As we put the kiddos back into the car I looked at Glenn and said, "This is definitely blog worthy." He replied, 'It's definitely something worthy."

******

Yesterday morning I texted Glenn and asked if he was okay with tacos or taco salads for dinner. See, we were really tight on money for the week, so I was trying to put off grocery shopping until pay day. We had everything for tacos, minus enough tortillas, so we decided on taco salads.

I was in a bum mood yesterday. A few things happened (more on that later) that propelled my mood into an even more sour place. We had an appointment for the cable guy to come sometime between 4 and 6pm. Luckily he was here just before four as Glenn is usually heading to bed at 6. Luckily we were able to hear the knock over Bubby's inconsolable cries. I let the cable guy in, tied up the Moby, and Bubby was out in record time.

So, the cable guy leaves and Glenn asks if he should brown the meat. I ask if it's bad if I feel like just going to get something. He said, like what? and I replied I didn't know. He said, how can you want to go out if you don't know what you want? We decided on teriyaki because I could pop out of the car and pick up some grapefruit seed extract at the vitamin store on the way home. Much easier than lugging both kids there after he went to bed.

Bubby had just calmed down and fallen asleep in the Moby. Beanie was in rare (or, lately, not so rare) form and just being silly, loud, & not listening. That should've been our first indication we should just eat at home.

Add in the fact that we are really trying to stick to a budget and not go out to eat and that we already used our "one meal out" for breakfast on Sunday and we really should've known better. I, coined the master manipulator, said maybe we should have one breakfast out and one dinner out. Glenn rolled his eyes.

So, we get Bubby out of the Moby and into his infant carrier. Beanie goes potty, puts on her shoes, and we head out the door. Bubby is upset the moment he's out of the Moby, but calms down once we pick up the carseat. Although, obviously, I would never ever ever do this, I often think it would be a whole lot easier if I could just baby wear in the car. Maybe I should start taking the bus?

Glenn starts driving and Bubby is screaming bloody murder. Like the scream that makes you anxious the second it starts. Beanie fell asleep. Like eyes rolled to the back of her head asleep. While he's screaming so loud I can't even think. Glenn tries to wake Beanie up but that just isn't happening. She is o-u-t OUT. I say, let's just let her sleep till we get there.

So we did.

As we pull in the parking lot, I suggest just getting the food to go. Glenn thinks Bubby may calm down once we get him out of the car. That does happen a lot. And he did. For about two minutes. Glenn gets Beanie out of the car and, swear to god, he sets her down to walk across the parking lot and she is literally falling back asleep as she's walking. He picks her back up and she's down for the count immediately.

As we walk in the restaurant, Bubby starts losing it again. I take him outside and swing the carseat back and forth to see if he'll calm down. Sometimes that does the trick. I walk back in and ask Glenn if he got the food to go and, yes, he did. As I carry the car seat around Bubby sort of calms down, but he's waffling between crashing out asleep and totally losing his marbles. Glenn tries to wake Beanie (again -- it was 5 o'clock, no time for naps!) and sets her in the chair next to him. Her head rolled back. It was pretty obvious there was no waking her up. She was in that limp, I'm totally out I could sleep for a couple hours state of sleep.

Bubby falls asleep as we walk back out to the car. He stays asleep until we stop at the vitamin store and then, when I come back out, he's screaming again. Beanie is still sleeping through all of this. It amazes me how she can sleep through his very worst crying.

Beanie wakes up when we get back home. I immediately tie the Moby back on and snuggle Bubby. She eats her dinner like a champ. I eat dinner standing up bouncing back and forth to keep Bubby happy.

What were we thinking when we thought going out to get something to eat would be the easier option????

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I wish somehow it was easy to get an answer to what was going on with Bubby. He's been pretty colicky again lately (nothing like he was before, but he goes from 0-60 on the upset scale in 0.1 seconds). It breaks my heart to see him in pain...and he is, we can tell. He's been so happy and giggly some of the time and then he'll just be so uncomfortable and cranky and, like I said, it absolutely breaks my heart.

This Friday will be three weeks completely dairy free (down to the sodium caseinate in my non-dairy creamer). I haven't had too much soy, although I will admit we decided not to be too strict with the soybean oils and etc that are in just about everything. But, I've been watching closely and, really, haven't been eating much of that processed crap anyways.

Today he has a horrible red ring (what I would think an allergy ring would be) around his bum. He's been super upset before he has a dirty diaper. And, then there are the times when he's just as happy as could be.

I'm starting to be convinced he has an allergy to something. I'm just not sure I'm eliminating the proper foods. I'm thinking I may have to buck up and go for the gold and eliminate all of the most common allergens -- eggs, wheat, soy, dairy, peanuts, treenuts and shell fish. I feel a bit guilty saying that the thought of eliminating all those foods makes me a little nervous. That's a lot of different things. I would probably only have to go about a week to ten days without all of them and then start adding things back in to see how he does. At least, that's what I've been gathering from the reading I've been doing.

Sigh. I wish he could just tell me what was bothering him, if he has an allergy/intolerance or what not, or if he's just a gassy baby that doesn't like it much.

Friday, June 4, 2010

After reading this article from Attachment Parenting International, I've decided I really need to buck up and make some changes in how things are going. I feel like we're in a bit of a rut. I'm happier with a super clean house, but overwhelmed with getting there. I love having a full, busy calendar but sometimes wonder if we're getting overscheduled. I long for a TV free day (or at least drastically less TV), but find myself turning it on while I wake up in the morning, sip on my coffee & check my email. I know I'd feel better about everything if I just took a bit of time to myself, but I have a hard time doing so.

Will you take the MAMA DARE mentioned in the above article? What change do you want to make?