4) Do NOT play games. I repeat, NO GAMES. No toilet paper wedding dress competitions. No egg or balloon relays. Someone in the 1700s decided women like this sort of thing, and it's time to move on.

5) Watch a movie:Old

or Funny

6) Hit the jacuzzi. It is your job as hostess at this point to suppress indelicate discussions of...shall we say, marital intimacy (the good, the bad, the ugly). These discussions are best reserved for a "mom's night out" where us hardy veterans can handle the gritty stuff. The hipster bride SO does not want to hear it. In her mind, it's beautiful and scented with lavender. Let her have her dreams.

I’d love to see the NO GAMES ban in effect, along with that 80’s classic “Adventures in Babysitting”, platefuls of *cooked* sushi, some cute breastfeeding tees, and a super-cute poster from rattle-n-roll. Oh, and is there a good non-alcoholic Bloody Mary out there?