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A Mid-Winter Day’s Nightmare

Swati sighed as she ran her hand down Varun’s muscular chest, “You have no idea how long I have waited for this!” “Not nearly as long as I have been waiting…”Varun whispered in her ear. He looked deep into her eyes, “Are you sure Ritesh is out of town…” Swati ribbed him for reminding her about her husband, “Yes, I am sure, he has a business meeting in Delhi, he will be back only on Monday morning! What about Ramya? Are you sure she will not disturb us?” Swati winced asking about her best friend and Varun’s wife. “She is on a spiritual retreat at some ashram outside the city…she can’t even be reached on her phone.”Varun smiled at her, “ So that means we have the whole weekend to ourselves…” Swati smiled back at him, “And I have a detailed itinerary of how we can spend it.” She leaned in and kissed him.

At about the same time that Swati and Varun were starting the scene in Bollywood songs where two flowers vigorously bump into each other Ritesh and Ramya were taking the elevator up to the apartment. Ramya looked at Ritesh hungrily, “This is wrong, but I can’t wait for it…” Ritesh nodded to her, “I have no idea why we are doing this, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Are you sure Varun is out of town? The last thing I want is for my best friend to find out about this.” “He is in Delhi for a business meeting…he will be back only on Monday. And what about Ramya? We have been friends far longer than you guys!” Ritesh touched her cheek lightly, “She is on a spiritual retreat at some ashram outside the city…she is not supposed to use her phone. So don’t worry about that.” The elevator pinged and Ritesh began opening the door to the apartment.

Swati felt like she was just about to fly when she heard the key in the front door. She gave Varun a powerful kick that made him land outside the bed. She pointed to the door, “Ritesh is back” she whispered. Varun rubbed his bruised ass, “What do I do?” and he began running around in circles like a dog chasing its tail. Swati scratched her head, “the washing machine in the balcony, it is the only place he would never look!” She threw him all his clothes and his backpack. Varun stood irate for a second, “Really? The washing machine? You can think of no other place?” Swati glared at him, “well, can you?” Varun shrugged, “then go you jackass…”. Varun ran to the balcony and opened the lid of the washing machine, he knocked a bottle of some red colored soap solution into the machine. He threw his backpack in and jumped inside. He had to squeeze in hard to fit in and hold his breath against the odor of the unwashed undergarments.

Swati walked to the door, “Ritesh, honey is that you?”

Ritesh had just opened the door and was about to lead Ramya in when he heard Swati asking if it was him. He shoved Ramya out of the door and closed it behind her. Ramya gave a small screech and ran back towards the elevator.

“Honey why are you back? Aren’t you supposed to be in Delhi?” Swati asked Ritesh her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“The meeting got canceled baby, several of the directors could not make it , so I came back home to you.” Ritesh said smiling, parroting a well rehearsed lie.

“Hmm how sweet of you dear, but you plane left two hours ago, so you found out mid-air and just turned your plane back and came home. Is that not so?” Swati could feel her temper and voice rising.

“What about you? Weren’t you supposed to be in some deep meditation session by now? Why are you home?” Varun tried to divert the topic.

“Swati felt flustered, “My spiritual guru had a bad case of….um…dysentry..so I could not go this weekend…” she managed off the top of her head.

“I see and is that why there are candles and mood lighting in the bedroom and you are just meditating in your lingerie, is it?”

“ I had a vision that you would be back soon and I thought I might surprise you…” Swati lied, and tried to give him a sexy look and failed miserably, “is that a bag of Victoria’s secret, honey?” she pointed to the bag in Ritesh’s hand.

“Yes, baby, I had a vision you would surprise me and thought I might surprise you as well.” They both stared at each other in awkward silence.

Varun had grown tired of waiting with the undergarments. His heart was pounding at the possibility of getting caught. He decided to make a run for it. He got out and looked out of the balcony. He was on the fourth floor, he decided he could climb down from the pipes. As he was about to jump out of the balcony, he switched on the washing machine. He latched on to a drainage pipe and began to slide down it. He realized he had forgotten his backpack in the washing machine. The washing machine began to wobble and shake because of the extra weight, it began to froth a red foam. Varun got scared of the noise it was making and hurried down the pipe, he got his foot stuck at the second floor and couldn’t climb any further.

Ramya reached the elevator and in her hurry she pressed the fire alarm instead of the elevator switch. The alarm began to blare in the whole building. Ramya panicked, she thought there had to be a fire to justify the fire alarm. She took out her lighter and set fire to the plastic plants and the carpet in the lobby. She got into the elevator, it began to move, but because of the fire alarm it got stuck on the second floor.

Ritesh and Swati were staring at each other awkwardly when the fire alarm went off. Ritesh mumbled “Ramya!” and ran towards the elevator. Swati mumbled, “Varun!” and ran towards the balcony. Swati saw the washing machine wobbling and frothing with a red foam and of course assumed that Varun had been fatally injured in the washing machine. She screamed and began to cry and shout his name out of the balcony.

Ritesh ran to the elevator and found the lobby on fire, the plastic plants had melted and formed charred puddle that he promptly assumed was Ramya. He screamed and began to shout her name loudly.

When the foam and the dust had finally settled, the fire department and the elevator technician had been called along with the police and an ambulance. The four friends sat together on the pavement of their building covered in soot, foam and shame. “Is there any chance that we can forget all of this ever happened?” Ritesh asked. They all glared at each other and looked away in shame.