I once read a horoscope prediction about Sagitarians saying that we are stubborn and will fail at everything including suicide.

They weren't wrong. There I was after the fifth attempt, lying on a gurney in the emergency room realising that I had fucked things up again. I couldn't control muscle movement of any kind when the emergency room nurse leans in and whispers in my ear "I hope you die. My brother committed suicide and I hate him for it."

That's kinda what I was goin' for, I thought. Maybe the emergency ward is not the place for you. Try the f'ing psych ward! I'll see you there you stupid Bitch!