Last week, Goldust shattered the dreams of INS by proposing to Aksana so she can remain in the United States and pursue her dream of winning NXT and becoming a WWE Diva. All our hearts melted. But it's a new week and the rain must fall once more.

With two weeks to go until the next elimination, Matt Striker welcomes the Rookie Divas to the ring and informs us we are at the midway point of the season. Kaitlyn is sporting new black and green ring gear. Cole does a callback to CM Punk's commentary in week three as Naomi comes out: "What's her name again?" Cole also declares he likes Maxine out of the blue, and he knows her name's not Francine. It doesn't take long for Vickie to "EXCUSE ME!" into the segment, coming the aisle to take umbrage with Kaitlyn for her look. (AJ is wearing new zebra gear, by the way, but her new ringwear isn't a major story point tonight). Also Vickie is sporting a white Nelson Muntz vest, which sparks Cole: "I wish I were that vest!" Aaaand gross. Vickie brings up how last week, she tried to make peace with Kaitlyn and has rededicated herself to being her Pro. But she has decided she hates Kaitlyn's look and has someone bring down a present for Kaitlyn: a new black hoodie that surprisingly doesn't say "SIMPLY FLAWLESS" or "LAYCOOL" on it (although Michelle McCool's name will be invoked a surprising number of times tonight.)

Kaitlyn doesn't want to wear the new hoodie, Maxine interrupts this Rookie-Pro moment to pick up where she left off last week and yell at Kaitlyn for disrespecting her Pro Vickie. (Where did Maxine get a mic?) Maxine tears into Kaitlyn and points out how lucky she is to have Vickie as a Pro and she would gladly take Vickie as her Pro. And even faster than I could say, "Wait, you have a Pro already - not that I could immediately recall who it is because half the Pros have barely interacted with their Rookies compared to previous seasons", Alicia Fox (who also has a mic) comes down the aisle all insulted by Maxine voicing her Pro-ferences. Maxine tries to sooth Alicia's hurt feelings, but Alicia is having none of it and, because she's wearing heels and is really thin, I marvel at how much taller Alicia is than everyone in the ring, even Striker. (May I also point out that of all the WWE people I met at Summerslam Axxess, Alicia Fox was BY FAR the friendliest and nicest person to talk to.) Alicia means no disrespect to Vickie - apparently, no one wants to disrespect Vickie, who insists she has looks and "CHARISMA!!" Alicia has a challenge: Her Rookie Maxine vs. Vickie's Rookie Kaitlyn "RIGHT NOW." Striker calls for a referee and makes the match (Cole: "So Striker's the GM of NXT now? He can make matches."). Kaitlyn makes a point of kicking the hoodie on the mat as we go to break.

Maxine vs. Kaitlyn in an Unscheduled, Impromptu Match That Was Not On The Booking Sheet Tonight. Microphones continue to magically appear: Alicia and Vickie are on the apron each wearing LayCool's headsets so they can call the action, making Cole question whether they even need to talk. Josh is in agreement about what a terrible idea it is, although it's not as bad in execution as the match itself would turn out to be. But Josh declares himself a "Cole Miner" and how also openly hates this show! Finally! Meanwhile, Kaitlyn is now wearing the black hoodie and has to wear it the entire match to appease her Pro. And this match is now Exhibit A in Why Wrestlers Should Not Wear Hoodies In Their Matches as midway through, Maxine goes on a Pull The Hoodie Over Kaitlyn's Head and Turn This Into A Blindfold Match offense. It's actually kind of brilliant. Ten times as brilliant: MICHAEL COLE GETS A PHONE CALL FROM HIS MOTHER DURING THE MATCH, gets up off the announce desk, and talks to his mother on the phone. This is on the level of Jerry Lawler declaring he needs to go to the bathroom and leaving the announce booth to rat JR to the cops that he suspected JR ran over Stone Cold ten years ago. When he gets off the phone, because he said he'd be home in a couple of days, JOSH RIPS ON COLE FOR STILL LIVING WITH HIS MOTHER! This is wonderful.

Back in the ring, oh my! OH MY! Some of the greatest shitty wrestling ever seen on an Internet sports entertainment program. Or a television program for that matter. Kaitlyn, with the hood off, picks up Maxine and hits a horrific looking Batista-esque Spinebuster on Maxine much too close to the ropes next to Vickie. There's barely enough time to gasp as the two of them continue to blunder through a series of moves that are incredibly difficult to describe, including some sort of inside cradle that must have been invented by Kaitlyn at that moment. The match ends with Kaitlyn in a sunset flip pinning position where her shoulders are down but she rolls off, then suddenly rolls back into the pinning position with Maxine reaching out to grab her so her shoulders stay down for the three. Maxine wins. Everyone is aghast at the new top contender for Worst Match of the Year. It was something to behold. Kaitlyn is out of breath and disappointed as Vickie sort of scolds her about the hoodie while Alicia and Maxine seem to have proved their point. Wow. Hey, if that match was Impromptu and Unscheduled, what was bumped so that match could happen?

Back in the ring, all of the Rookie Divas have reassembled (and Kaitlyn has lost the Hoodie for good). The Air Horns have returned, and the new elimination challenge is WHO'S THAT BODY. Because you can't become a WWE Diva without displaying a thorough knowledge of your future co-workers abdomens. The rules for this competition are as confusing as whatever Kaitlyn and Maxine were passing off as wrestling in the prior segment; Striker initially said something about showing a picture of a torso on the Titan Tron and then offering three possible choices, but Naomi blew that on the first picture (Kelly Kelly's torso, but Naomi guessed Michelle McCool - she doesn't know the sexy stomach of her own Pro!) and any semblance of order flew out the window. Air horns kept going off left and right and I'll just take Striker's word for it since he's actually next to the Rookies that whoever he says blew their airhorn first actually did so. The best part was for every photo of a Diva placed on the Tron (Maryse, Gail Kim), someone, usually Naomi, guessed Michelle McCool. Aksana even guessed Michelle McCool and McCool wasn't even one of the choices Striker offered when it was Gail's picture up on the screen. Cole cracks Striker up by saying, "There's a saying in the business: Go Home!" In the end, Naomi wins the competition with 3, Kaitlyn and AJ had 2, Maxine had 1 and Aksana had a golden goose egg. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, Michelle McCool's torso was NEVER placed on the Tron for guessing. I love this show.

Backstage, Goldust strokes the Million Dollar Belt and thanks his fiance Aksana for saving it from Maryse last night. The Golden Groom To Be announces that the wedding is IN TWO WEEKS (hey, same as the elimination!) Aksana thanks Goldust for making her dreams come true, but Goldust is a man of tradition and his proposal last week was as Impromptu and Unscheduled as the previous match, so he gets on one knee, takes an engagement ring from behind his kneepad, and presents an enormous golden rock on Aksana's finger. It's beautiful!, says the future Mrs. Runnels (yes, later Josh asks what Aksana's last name will be and Cole answers (in a DUH! tone) "Runnels!") Goldust wishes the N(e)XT Mrs. Runnels luck on her next challenge, she thanks him politely(!), and Goldust goes into a self-touching, spastic convulsion of some sort.

In the annals of great NXT elimination challenges, the next one proved to be a classic: Limbo! You can't be a WWE Diva without flexibility. Ask Trish Stratus, the innovator of the Matrix Move, or Melina, the innovator of having your back bent the wrong way so your own foot kicks the back of your head. Between them, like 12 Women's Titles. You gotta be flexible, Divas! (Batista would confirm, but he's not around.) Striker, who has Unlimited Power Over Referees Tonight, has two refs hold the bar for the Rookies to Limbo under. As the Rookies Limbo, complete with the classic Limbo Music, (Cole: "This is what this show is all about: How Low Can You Go?") this segment features the LOL Line of the Night when after the first round of Limboing, Striker asked the refs if they lowered the bar, and Cole chimes in: "OH, YOU'VE ALREADY LOWERED THE BAR!" Maxine, to her credit, took the Limbo contest very seriously, and openly protested as nearly everyone else cheated in some form, like not bridging all the way and twisting their shoulders. Kaitlyn and AJ also resumed their BFF Hijinks, like Kaitlyn deciding to do pushups while AJ sits on her back. Kaitlyn, given her ...er... mass, you'd think would be at a disadvantage, and you'd be right as she was the first eliminated. AJ is eliminated next, then, surprisingly Aksana, who you'd think would have won handily given her Talent Demonstration a couple of weeks ago. It's down to Maxine and Naomi, and Kaitlyn gooses Maxine or something, which makes Cole chirp, "She must be upset because you beat her in THAT AWESOME MATCH!" When she finally does Limbo, Maxine's nose touched the bar so Naomi is declared the winner! Which is actually bullshit, and Josh even points this out, that shouldn't Naomi have to do the Limbo too, and then if she also can't there'd be a sudden death or something? But nope, nope, nobody cares. The hell with it. Naomi wins. Let's cut to commercial.

But not before a graphic for the main event: Kelly Kelly and Naomi vs. The Bella Twins. And Josh helpfully explains that earlier today, he was speaking with K2, who said Naomi was the most athletic Diva. The Bellas overheard and challenged them to this tag team match. What the hell? This match even has a storyline? Josh also comes up with the second best line of the night: "As we keep trying to get kicked off our own website...!"

Kelly Kelly and Naomi vs Nikki and Brie Bella in A Main Event In Any Arena In The Country As Long As That Arena Is Hosting WWE Superstars or NXT. Here's the thing: The match isn't bad, though half of it is wrestled to a thunderous "WE WANT GOLDUST!" chant from the Edmonton crowd. The Bellas are a lot better at wrestling tag matches than most people realize, Naomi is probably the best wrestler of the Rookies, and Kelly knows how to do a twirling headscissors, which she hits on Nikki Bella. (Cole challenged Josh on telling the Bellas apart, but, the tops of Brie's crotch tattoo aside, it's actually not that hard for the sharp-eyed, discerning viewer: you see, Brie is just a tad leaner and Nikki has a bit more mass on the backside and thighs. Go ahead, take a good hard look and compare.) And just as there was a storyline to make this match happen, there's a second layer of story within the match! Naomi floored Brie with a dropkick to her (slightly prettier, less sharply angular) face, which sent Nikki in the ring to check on her. Then NIKKI BELLA SNAPS and Thesz Presses Naomi, going off like a house of fire on her. Kelly Kelly comes in and the referee has to separate the four so the match can continue. Brie offers a handshake to Naomi, no harm no foul, but Nikki tags herself in and full on continues with the ECW 2007/2008 Revival of her being a heel when she sided with Miz and Morrison and Brie sided with Carlito and Primo. Evil Nikki even runs to the opposite corner and knocks Kelly Kelly off the apron, which she never saw coming after all their late night slumber parties BESOS! Evil Nikki roughs up Naomi and brings her to the Wrong (i.e. Bella) Side of Town, but Naomi fights her way out of the corner and sends Nikki crashing to the floor. With the referee distracted by K2 trying to enter the fray, Naomi hits the ropes and is tripped by Nikki, who then woman handles her own twin and throws her into the corner and out of the ring so she can pin Naomi and win the match. Yes, fans, Naomi was pinned by a trip! As Kelly checks on Naomi, the victorious Bellas make their way up the aisle. Brie is confused by her sister but Nikki is heeling it up, making the boo hoo pantomime at her defeated opponents and... suddenly the feed is lost so that was that. Show's over.

Well, even with a loss to the Bellas and a controversial bullshit win in Limbo that no one will dispute because it's not worth it to bother, Naomi had an excellent night and has run away with the elimination immunity scores. Naomi is at 3, AJ has 1, and everyone else is at 0. Kaitlyn and Maxine together had a horrendous night, AJ was largely a non-entity (no one even mentioned her new zebra gear besides me and I don't count), and Aksana did nothing, but she has a big fat ring on her finger and has a wedding to plan so she's doing okay. Aksana should at least ask Alicia Fox if she'd consider planning her wedding, for old time's sake.

Among the superlatives I lob at NXT for its wonderful badness, I also offer this genuine praise: this show is remarkably well-written. Every segment had a purpose and both matches booked had storylines leading up to them and had storylines within the matches. Plus the long term wedding angle is rolling along nicely with the wedding to look forward to in two weeks.

And finally, an update on the AJ on Xbox Live front: As of this evening: Friend Request still Pending. I know what's not pending, my vote for AJ, of which there will be none. Actually, after Kaitlyn's last two weeks, she's not automatically guaranteed my vote now either. Everyone else has stepped up in some fashion, even Maxine. Whoever gets my vote will be the one who truly deserves it.

It's incredible how much heat Vickie can get...almost the entire arena (outside of myself) went nuclear when she first started with the EXCUSE ME. Personally, I find her character brilliant, so I was cheering.

Originally posted by John Orquiola Aksana should at least ask Alicia Fox if she'd consider planning her wedding, for old time's sake.

I thought of that angle when Vickie and Alicia were in the ring arguing...does Vickie still care that Alicia ruined her wedding to Edge?

I mostly just feel bad for the Rookies at this point as the show is painfully killing time... how many more insane challenges can they come up with? I'm finding it hard to remember at this point what sort of nonsense they put Future Nexus Leader And Supervillain Wade Barrett through back at the beginning of the year...

An excellent, baffling episode. The standard for this show is so high now that it's hard to find new ways to qualify for the all-time NXT canon, but this week -- even in a particularly stupid, pointless edition -- had some upper echelon contributions.

Kaitlyn and Maxine. Yes. Absolutely. I don't know if it was the worst match to ever air on WWE TV due to the low stakes, but definitely the worst blown spot. My interpretation of the end was that they kept trying the same complicated finish three or four times. It involved bonking Vickie off the apron and then some kind of byzantine series of roll-up reversals. Whoever laid out something that complex for people so untrained (Kidman) is either an incredible idiot (Kidman) or a postmodern genius (Kidman??). The final minute of this match was high art, semiotic brilliance. It makes the menu screen of the Best of NXT DVD, directly ahead of Titus O'Neill falling with the keg.

Moment #2: Cole takes the call. No, he's not busy. The announcing on this show was even meaner and more derisive than usual, in a good way. Cole and Josh were having too much fun and got in too many funny burns for me to remember. "Go Home" and "Striker, you've already lowered the bar" were crack-ups but something seemed to snap in them during the midriff challenge, apathy turned to antipathy.

MEAN NIKKI BELLA forces her sister to channel the Andersons. Excellent. I wouldn't be opposed to Evil Bellas as unified tag champs at all if they're going to be that aggressive and merciless.

Maxine has a legitimate beef about limbo, that really was outrageous. Naomi has to complete the same height, that's simple H-O-R-S-E rules you asshole refs. For someone On Top to get that close to the bottom was truly impressive, and to have it all taken away like that was truly insulting. That kind of egregiousness calls into question the legitimacy of this entire competition. Maxine should file an official protest with the president of NXT, Ashley Valence.

How many more weeks of the show are left? Just curious cuz I am definitely going to miss these recaps. One thing I AM going to do is c&p ALL of the NXT3 recaps and save them for posterity, maybe putting into some small tiem capsule somewhere so the people in 2110 can enjoy the wonder that is NXT3.

Originally posted by JimBob SkeeterHow many more weeks of the show are left? Just curious cuz I am definitely going to miss these recaps. One thing I AM going to do is c&p ALL of the NXT3 recaps and save them for posterity, maybe putting into some small tiem capsule somewhere so the people in 2110 can enjoy the wonder that is NXT3.

Six more episodes, including four more eliminations, possibly 12 more challenges (because they're doing 2 a week for no good reason except to kill time rather than book an extra match each week), and a wedding.

If we ask nicely a few million times, perhaps WWE will acquiesce and give us You Make The Rain Fall: NXT, the complete 3rd season or even Wild and YouNg: NXT, the complete series on DVD and Blu-ray.

Originally posted by JustinShapiroAn excellent, baffling episode. The standard for this show is so high now that it's hard to find new ways to qualify for the all-time NXT canon, but this week -- even in a particularly stupid, pointless edition -- had some upper echelon contributions.

Kaitlyn and Maxine. Yes. Absolutely. I don't know if it was the worst match to ever air on WWE TV due to the low stakes, but definitely the worst blown spot. My interpretation of the end was that they kept trying the same complicated finish three or four times. It involved bonking Vickie off the apron and then some kind of byzantine series of roll-up reversals. Whoever laid out something that complex for people so untrained (Kidman) is either an incredible idiot (Kidman) or a postmodern genius (Kidman??). The final minute of this match was high art, semiotic brilliance. It makes the menu screen of the Best of NXT DVD, directly ahead of Titus O'Neill falling with the keg.

Remember Paul Heyman's rules of how to book ECW specifically and pro wrestling in general: Enhance people's strengths and hide their weaknesses? The magic of NXT and NXT3 in particular is the incredible pride WWE takes in doing the exact opposite of that.

In NXT3, everyone's weaknesses are spotlighted while simultaneously showing the audience no one has any strengths.

And therein, memories are made.

If Nikki Bella keeps her heelosity up in coming weeks, she'll be a shoo-in for The Dashing Cody Rhodes Award. Whoa-oh! She's only smoke and mirrors!

Originally posted by Spiraling_ShapeI mostly just feel bad for the Rookies at this point.

Why? They're living their dream of formerly being on television but shafted to the Internet and spending each week being sabotaged and humiliated for shits and giggles by the very company most if not all of them dreamed of working for since they were little girls!

A three season dvd, complete with backstage excerpts, Pro interviews on what was going thru their minds when the stupidicity was happening, and a blooper file, (oh wait, that would be the whole dvd), would be my dream.

Oh, and does Cole have a sister? If so, does that make her a Cole Miner's Daughter?

Originally posted by John OrquiolaWhy? They're living their dream of formerly being on television but shafted to the Internet and spending each week being sabotaged and humiliated for shits and giggles by the very company most if not all of them dreamed of working for since they were little girls!

Somehow, I doubt any of them other than AJ actually had any desire to be a diva before the WWE contacted them.

Originally posted by JimBob SkeeterOh, and does Cole have a sister? If so, does that make her a Cole Miner's Daughter?

*rimshot*

If you're trying out to be The W's Matt Stryker I say you're hired!

While NXT is a fun trainwreck, it wouldn't be nearly as must-see without this thread. You guys make my rain fall.

How appropriate NXT tonight took place in the home of the last season's last place hockey team, the Edmonton Oilers?

Is there anything better than Alicia Fox & Vickie dueling mics? Them doing it for a whole match! It actually made sense storyline-wise as it displays who was the better pro. Fox wins for her great advice of "Do something!" Kaitlyn was trying to do her atomic wedgie bomb finisher (first time looks like she gave Maxine a broken cunt, third time wasn't the charm...and it wasn't even the actual match finish!), she should stick with the SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR. Sadly this displays her in-ring skills are lacking more than I thought, although she gets points for her & AJ's kidding around and kicking Maxine during limbo.

Thinking of filing a complaint with my province's athletic commission over that limbo nonsense. Maxine lost because she went first? Kaitlyn was unfairly eliminated. Aksana bent her shoulder after everyone got an official warning from nonymous NXT GM Matt Stryker (who made ZERO decade-plus old references). As a former Knotts Berry Farm limbo champion I was understandably furious!

Freaky Naomi could tell Cody Rhodes tummy...guess he really is dashing. Aksana was great, bet on multiple choice tests she always wrote-in an answer. What a gong show, and that's saying something on a show that used to have an actual gong.

I noticed & liked AJ's gear but she needs zebra-striped shoes to go with it. Wonder what Tony talked to Mrs Cole about? Bellas done good, I'm usually decent at telling twins apart but never could (although never really tried) w/ the Bellas. A little freaky John does to that detail...it's usually the nose with twins that's the giveaway.

At the very least this show has revitalized Goldust's career, which has been lacklustre at best since the end of BookerDust.

I'm the guy in yellow close to the top of the pic.Most of the time, I'll be looking at the tron, checking my BlackBerry, or covering my ears during pyro like a goddamn girlygirl. Actually, most of the time I'm juuuuuust out of eyeshot.

ANYWAY. I hadn't actually seen any of this season of NXT and haven't watched the televised/internet version yet. Live, it was actually pretty fun. The crowd haaaaaaated Vickie and went bonkers for Goldust for whatever reason, Kelly Kelly wore tiny shorts, and Striker got in his wonderful line about "that awesome match." The limbo contest was tolerable and the airhorn shenanigans made the torso-guessing competition kind of amusing. HOOOOOOOOOOOONK.

I know spoilers are verboten but I also know that live reports are NOT. But you also know where to get spoilers if you really want them. I will say that Smackdown was much better than Raw. And I'm curious to see if they edit out the MASSIVE chants for Santino during the opening segment. Santino is to Edmonton what Bret Hart is to Calgary.

The Edmonton Superstars match was MVP and Masters vs. Rhodes & McIntyre. MVP has new music. And he got his pyro back. People went nuts for MVP. He seemed pleased.

The dark match was Trent Baretta over Curt Hawkins - this was pretty decent, actually.

The guy in the front row in the Leafs jersey was the TABER CORN guy from Raw. He even had a new sign! Also awesome were Harry & Lloyd and Sheik & Volkoff. Edge seemed greatly amused by the dude in the Sheik costume and did a Sheik pose. And you can't really tell but sitting one row in front of me and one seat over was Haystacks Calhoun. He's alive and enormous and exposing much of his ass crack to all of Edmonton.

Originally posted by Moss I'm usually decent at telling twins apart but never could (although never really tried) w/ the Bellas. A little freaky John does to that detail...it's usually the nose with twins that's the giveaway.

I went to high school with two sets of identical female twins. I developed the skill set of telling twins apart (by looking at their asses).

I've watched Kaitlyn vs. Maxine a couple of times after I saw Kaitlyn's Tweet about the atomic wedgie bomb. Yes, I saw that's what she was going for. In fact, she went for it twice and blew it both times. I can't believe Maxine didn't need to be rushed to the ER to have her undercarriage looked at. And after taking both failed AWBs, Maxine deserved her hand raised.

If this show ends with Cole singing Gongy to the lyrics of Mandy, it'll top Hogan/Andre at Mania III as the seminal moment in company history. It might even top Mulkey's Win on the same weekend as the seminal moment in industry history, but Cole really would have to make the entire audience weep.

I apologize that this even exists. This is the idea and work of the-w.com user OMG its Feely who was inspired by Maxine and where she belongs, and from there we felt like we needed to see it through to the end. I created these on the program Microsoft Paintbrush 2006.