It's time to kiss your pizza delivery guy goodbye.

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I’d like to open this week’s installment of Weekly Panineats with a haiku, which I consider the most beautiful and expressive form of poetry (apart from whatever it was that Dr. Seuss was doing):

A late night craving The clock tower chimes three times:EBAs is closed.

Photo by Tarika Narain

If you didn’t shed a tear at that masterpiece, you obviously are not and have never been a college student. In which case, let me explain this plight using layman’s terms. It’s crucial to me that you understand the utterly heartrending misery that is being hungry after a long night of studying (lol) and having nowhere to stuff your face with oily, cheesy food.

Photo by Tarika Narain

By this absurd time of the night, Collis Late Night is closed and all the pizza joints have packed up for the night. Wallowing in self-hatred, you gaze at your dorm’s vending machine, forced to face the unappetizing choice of potato chips or a pack of gum. You sing mournfully to your reflection in the vending machine’s glass.

“Hello darkness, my old friend…”

Photo by Tarika Narain

This all-too-familiar scenario, like most things, is something having a panini press in your dorm (totally not against college rules…) can solve. It’s time to kick your unhealthy dependency on EBA’s or Ramunto’s to cure your late night cravings. It’s time for you to take your life into your own hands. And, luckily for you, I’m here to show you how.