Despite Existence of New iPad Mini, Please Do Not Call Regular Device a “Maxi iPad”

Hi there, little guy! Look, it’s a tiny new iPad, taunting you with its smallness and newness. Gizmodo is already convinced that it’s “really great”! It sounds great: it has. . . a camera, a 10-hour battery life, and an option for a flashy ivory case. In its presentation earlier today, Apple also introduced a stupid new regular iPad and iMac, which are so bulky and hideous.

What else? Any downsides? Two! The New York Timesnotes that “at a starting price of $329, the iPad Mini is only $30 more than the much smaller, redesigned iPod Touch. That could make the iPod Touch a tougher sell.” And Gizmodo reports that the Mini will not be available for pre-order until Friday. *Friday.*Like, four days from now. What the hell are you supposed to do with your unbearably enormous iPad 2 until then? Hide it, obviously. Burn it, trash it, bury it, and try as hard as you can to forget you ever loved it.