Man who claims to be a Luddite actually more of a gobshite

6th June 2018

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A MAN who claims to be ‘a bit of a Luddite’ is actually more a gobshite, it has emerged.

54-year-old Martin Bishop likes to say things like “Oh, I’m a bit of a Luddite when it comes to technology” and “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” when puzzling over how Netflix works, but he is actually a lazy gobshite bastard.

Bishop said: “I don’t know how things like iPads work. I mean, my five-year-old nephew can use it as can my 16-year old-border collier but not me, nope.

“I’m a bit of a Luddite like that. Do you think Clarkson knows how to use an iPad or a microwave?”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “People who describe themselves as ‘Luddites’ will often be carrying a rolled-up copy of the Daily Mail under their arm.

“Which is weird because you’d think a Luddite would be more likely to angrily burn a newspaper then go and smash up the printing press with his pitchfork.”