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Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Baby Joey's learned some new tricks while she was away. She called out "Bump!" when she saw me, and showed me how she can stand up on her back legs all by herself.

I welcomed her home by having another try to teach her how to eat Friskies, but Mum imposed "Operation Kitchen Boarders" and turned her around before she could get to the dish.

My humans said they saw all sorts of amazing things in England.... but none of that really interests me.

Something that did interest me was that the Swiss Cats' Mum went to England at the same time and met my Mum.

Claire (Mum of Zorro and Pixie from Swiss Cat Blog) withmy Mum at the River Dee.

Claire, who is owned by Zorro and Pixie (from Swiss Cat Blog) took presents and Swiss treats for my humans, and for me.

The humans were greedy and ate all their treats in England. Mum said Swiss chocolate was very good, but it wouldn't have been good for me.

My treat might have been very good, too. But I didn't get to find out. A mean man at Australian Customs took it away. Apparently, bringing pet foods into Australia risks bringing in things that could be a problem for our plants or animals.

I'm sure I would have eaten my treats before they got a chance to be a problem to anyone, but I missed out anyway. When I take over the world, customs won't be allowed to confiscate treats that are meant for me.

Pixie and Zorro did send another gift for me with their Mum and I did get that... a brown furry toy mouse. It's very soft. Maybe mice are softer in Switzerland. It really looks like a real mouse. Every time I walk past it, I have to stop and check if it's alive.

My catsitter told my humans that looking after me was like looking after a baby, because I insisted on having constant attention day and night. Well, of course, I require constant attention! I am the Supreme Feline Overlord after all. What's the point of being Overlord if my minions aren't constantly fawning over me?

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

I asked why I wasn't going and Mum said because I didn't have a passport.

Then I got a passport. Mum took it off me and put it back in her bag. She said I still couldn't go because I don't like new places.

She did say a human I know is going to stay here with me so I will be fed and not get lonely.

Even so, I know that all my readers will suffer terribly because they don't have any new adventures to read about for just over two weeks. I told mum that would be a cruel thing to do to my world-wide fanbase.

Books by Iris, available in paperback and ebook versions, from:

Patchwork

Patchwork is an anthology of short stories and poems by author and blogger Iris Carden. In this volume, you will deal with the aftermath of a dog bite in Bad Moon Rising, spend a sleepless night with The Possum in the Roof, and investigate a weird religious cult in The Time of Blood and Death. The print version of the book has a bonus story not in the eBook version.

Beside Still Waters

A book of sermons and brief reflections on Christian Scripture, by Rev Iris Carden. There is no specific order to the items in the book, they are intended to each be a "surprise" in that they are not related to the items around them. It is hoped that in each, the reader will find something new or special, or unexpected, a message from God. Rev Iris Carden has a Master's Degree in Theology and more than 10 years of experience as a Christian minister

Cat-it-orial

Mr Bumpy is such a talented cat, he even runs his own website: mrbumpycat.com. He is a blogger, and a very bad cat. His favourite hobby is world domination. His next hobby is harassing the humans and other animals he shares a home with. In this book, you can see the world through the eyes of a megalomanicat, and some of the other animals who share his home.

Group Meeting

(Novella) In a facility for people recovering from mental illness: a group of people with sinister pasts starts to be visited by a girl who doesn't exist.

Karlee

Failing author Terry Dixon is made an offer that seems unbelievable. He can have all of his problems solved, have everything he has ever wanted, for a price. The price is something that "will not be too difficult" for him to pay - but it is not specified what it actually will be. With bills mounting up and a deadline looming, Terry agrees to a deal with something he knows nothing about.

About the Author

Iris Carden is a retired Uniting Church minister and former journalist. Lupus forced her to stop working. On good days she writes.

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Bloggercat at Work

Mr Bumpy on the computer.

Lunch Break

It's not that hard - open fridge, get cat food.

About Mr Bumpy

My name's Mr Bumpy. I spend a lot of time on the computer. (The humans I allow to live with me sometimes complain about me being on the computer - but they're mere humans, what do they know?)

My greatest achievements to date are: throwing Miss C's mobile phone out the window during the night; explaining to the dog who is boss; putting a mouse in Mum's slipper; bringing a live snake into the house and playing with it under the birdcage; and getting my own cat biscuits out of the bag when the humans are too slow to do as they're told.

I do have some help with my blog here - my "Mum" a human named Iris does some of my typing for me. She's OK as humans go, so you might want to check out her blogs some time. And of course, there's a dog and some rats and budgies, but you're really not interested in them.

You can contact me (or any of the rest of the Mr Bumpy Cat Dot Com team) at: contact@mrbumpycat.com