Working at home gives Kristen the freedom she craves — so why does she feel so stressed? Organizing pro Julie Morgenstern helps this busy mom find the right balance between desk time and family time.

Kristen Kemp, 35, has created a work-from-home life she loves. She runs a website, baristakids.com, which highlights the goings-on in her Montclair, NJ, community, and is also coauthoring a book. A babysitter watches Kristen's kids (twins Estelle and Annabelle, 4, and son Soren, 2) during the day, but Kristen often finds herself taking breaks to hang out with them and her husband, Johan, a European market investment banker who works nights and gets home in the early afternoon. Recently, when Kristen missed a book deadline, she realized she needed to stick to a schedule to get her work done — but wasn't sure how to do that without sacrificing family time.

Julie's plan of action

Kristen has worked hard to create a life that enables her to do things she loves, like take a midafternoon break to play with her kids. But it's my hunch that she's avoiding key tasks, and that the flexibility she instilled in her schedule is actually adding to her stress. By creating a framework for her on-the-job days, Kristen can overcome her procrastination and truly find the freedom in her flexible schedule.

1. Uncover your real roadblocks.

First, I wanted to explore why Kristen missed her book deadline. When a task isn't done, there's usually a reason besides simply being busy. For instance, is there some performance anxiety involved? After talking, we realized that Kristen was procrastinating because the book project feels so daunting that she's terrified of not doing it right and disappointing her editor and subject. I suggested she write a list of questions she has, then schedule a meeting with her editor. By facing her fears, Kristen can get rid of the mental clutter that's holding her back and devote that energy to the assignment.

2. Manage your goals.

Like many of us, Kristen overestimates what she can get done in a day. She knows she can't complete a manuscript in an afternoon, but that doesn't stop her from sitting down to write with the vague plan to do "as much as possible." Later, she feels demoralized when she barely makes a dent in the project. Once she's clear on her assignment, I suggest that Kristen stay on task by creating a weekly word goal, at least until she knows how many hours it takes for her to write a chapter; she can use this knowledge when discussing deadlines with her editor. Similarly, Kristen is never sure how many blog postings are enough for her website — some days she'll post four entries, while other days it's a struggle to post even one. I suggest she commit to posting two entries a day, which will allow her to feel satisfied when she hits her target and not feel guilty that she didn't write more. Setting limits ensures you won't get burned out, and setting targets you can achieve gives you the motivation to make your goals happen.

3. Divide and conquer.

Another reason Kristen's to-do list tends to be impossible to complete: It doesn't show how long a given task takes. That's why I often suggest writing to-do's on a calendar, with specific time frames for each part of a project. For example, when Kristen works on her blog, she's really writing entries, responding to emails, and speaking to sources. So instead of simply thinking that she'll "work on her blog" from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m., she can allot an hour for blogging, half an hour for emailing, and so forth. Breaking down a task into bite-size assignments helps quell boredom (and the subsequent "Well, 15 minutes looking at panda videos on YouTube won't hurt" breaks).

Brian Kennedy

4. Create office hours.

Kristen has gotten in the habit of responding to every email or call that comes in, regardless of what the message is about. This makes people assume she's always available, causing them to call more often — and leaving Kristen feeling unfocused and frazzled. I suggest she establish official office hours by setting up an out-of-office email message and voicemail greeting stating that she'll respond between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. Kristen can then use that time to catch up on correspondence, leaving her mornings available for distraction-free writing.

5. Define your break time.

One of Kristen's favorite morning rituals is walking her children the two blocks to preschool. I suggest she make the most of this time, even leaving the house earlier than necessary so everyone can enjoy a leisurely walk and playtime before school starts. By expanding this task into 45 minutes and writing it into her schedule, Kristen has a relaxing way to begin the day and won't feel like she's wasting time that could better be spent working. Similarly, she looks forward to 1 p.m., when Johan comes home from work, but often feels guilty taking a break to greet him. I suggest Kristen and Johan carve out a block in their schedules — such as two hours when he comes home — to enjoy time together.

6. Don't get derailed.

Kristen often accepts invites — whether it's a coffee catch-up or a cocktail party — then finds herself canceling at the last minute because she feels overwhelmed by her to-do list. I recommend that Kristen categorize every invite that comes to her as work-related, family-related, or simply social, then assess how devoting time to that activity would affect her schedule. For example, a coffee date with a fellow writer will take a solid hour out of the time she's allotted for her own work. Would the result of a meeting (brainstorming, commiserating, or networking) be "worth" an hour of time? If not, then Kristen may simply decline, or suggest a quick phone call instead.

And of course, unplanned events, from a sick babysitter to a surprise snowstorm, can throw your day off. The trick in these situations is to pick one priority for every day — in Kristen's case, a block of time to work on the book — that will get done regardless of what comes up. That way, the tasks that are most important to you will stay on track, and you'll have the freedom to enjoy your great, big life!

Kristen's response

"It's amazing how much my life changed with these simple suggestions. I began making work plans that were realistic, plowed through to-do lists, and had lots of time left over for my family in the evenings. I realized that if I have set office hours, I can really enjoy family time later in the day. Of course, now and then, a planned day goes to hell. But then I can regroup and get organized for the next day!"

Julie Morgenstern is an organization and time-management expert, productivity consultant, and New York Times best-selling author of five books, including Shed Your Stuff, Change Your Life.

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