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Dusk: Olo

I had already typed out a review and I was going to edit it and send it, then this happened and I thought, “Nah fam”. So here’s my new review. Today, I negligently (read stupidly) disclosed my online banking ID and password to a stranger – well I thought it was my bank, the whole process looked very legit, I checked. I did all I could to make sure I was not being scammed. But I was scammed anyway. And this stranger transferred 50k from my account.

Maybe 50k isn’t a lot to you, but I just finished my final papers in the university about 8 days ago and a customer transferred about 48k to me for some cakes due next weekend, so 50k is a lot for me. And I’ve spent the entire day crying, not so much because of the money because well, it’s replaceable , but because I’ve thought out a hundred different things I should have done differently. And this is especially hard for me because I don’t take loss very well.

If I were to describe this year in one word, I’d say it was messy. Messy because no matter how good things seemed, I was almost always crying. Sometimes I’d just be sad all of a sudden, and tears would well up in my eyes and I would start crying. When I’m crying, gospel music is my companion, and so as soon as the dark moments arrived, I’d pick up my phone and play a song and sing along. I listened to ‘Onise Iyanu’ and ‘You are Great’ so many times that I even laugh along with Nathaniel Bassey in the first part of the song. They were my go-to when I couldn’t voice a word of prayer or the Bible wasn’t comforting me. I still don’t know what made me sad all those times.

After many years of praying and crying, I got a boyfriend last November. We broke up sometime in May because I was a handful, and things just weren’t working. In June, I met someone else, and things are going very well, he is my best friend and favorite person. And though I am still a handful, he is equally one, and so we both have our hands full and we are doing very well as a couple.

I have always wanted an exclusive best friend, God said no again this year. I guess the entire world already has their own exclusive best friend and I can’t fit in with anyone. I suppose it’s too late for me. One thing that made me sad this year was how many of my close friends find it hard to confide in me, and how I am not anyone’s go-to problem solver or confidant. That hurts, a lot. But things could be worse, people are dying and here I am complaining because I don’t have friends who want to tell me everything.

I think the highlights of my year were the moments when I was able to help people through hard times. See, I lost my sister 2 years ago and I didn’t properly grieve then, so I have spent a longer period of time paying for that. However, this year, I was able to reach out to some of my friends who had lost siblings and it was a rare moment of connection, talking to them and sharing experiences, one that I will cherish forever.

On the plus side, I graduated from the university this year and I can now write LL.B behind my name. Sadly, I have to wait for 10 months before I can go to law school. Blame the system. I also grew extremely close to God this year, I saved a decent amount of money, I didn’t have my customary menstrual pain every month (although when I did have it, it made up for all the months of ‘freedom’ I’d had). I am more mature in my thinking and behavior (eish stop thinking about me crying over my 50k), I learnt to depend more on people; I have always been a loner.

It’s only a couple of weeks to the end of the year, and I am a strong believer in last minute miracles. So I’m trusting God for a testimony, or a hundred, that will make all the water I wasted crying in 2016 worth it. And I’m looking forward to 2017, because life isn’t worth living without hope. And all of my hope is in God, Oba Onísé Ìyanu.

3 Responses

Hey! Congratulations on your degree.
10 months is ample time to be known as an awesome baker. No rushing, enter law school in style (I hear it’s crazy there)
May your sister keep resting in the Lord.
And the 50k, sigh, like one of my colleagues respond to everything, “in this economy???” Close your eyes, forgive the thief, connect to that lost money and declare everything you want a restoration on, You’d be replenished. I believe.
I hope you’d laugh more than cry in 2017.