THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

THE TRADITIONAL THANKSGIVING - a Cranky re-run

Thanksgiving is around the corner and with it come many
traditions.The universal Thanksgiving
tradition of course is the Thanksgiving turkey.We will have turkey as usual this Thanksgiving, but the tradition will
not be the same as I remember in my youth.

When I was a child, Thanksgiving at our house held many
traditions.

The first was the traditional non-complete thawing of the
bird.Mom always bought the bird
frozen.She took it out to thaw the day
before Thanksgiving.The day before Thanksgiving
was never long enough to completely thaw a 20 pound turkey.

The second tradition was the traditional four o’clock dinner
being delayed until 7 o’clock because the bird was not completely thawed.This delay was fine in that it allowed the
men (everyone except mom) to watch the end of the traditional NFL football
game, and the traditional trouncing of the Detroit Lions by the Bears, Packers,
or Cowboys.When dinner was ready at
last, everyone was traditionally starving to death.

Despite the dinner delay, mom’s turkey was traditionally
delicious.It was never dry, never
overcooked.

Along with turkey we had mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, sauerkraut
(it was a German thing), green beans in mushroom soup mix with crispy onion stuff on top, creamed oysters,
cranberry sauce (from the can), peas, crescent rolls, gravy and mom’s special
stuffing.All this food was spread over
the finest tablecloth which was adorned with silver ware, a silver gravy boat,
pepper shaker and salt.The salt was dispensed
from a traditional silver tray with a cobalt blue glass insert and a tiny
silver spoon.(My Aunt Nancy once
explained the reason the insert had to be cobalt blue, I don’t remember, but
there is a reason.)We never had salad,
instead there was a cut glass bowl shaped perfectly to hold celery and carrot
sticks.In addition to water and wine,
everyone, even the under aged family members had a glass of Taylor’s Sparkling Burgundy.

We all always dressed up for the Traditional turkey dinner
which meant coats and ties.We sat well
dressed, well scrubbed, and well starving around all the food and finery, dad
at the head of the table, as my mom marched in with the star of the show, the
crispy skinned golden brown turkey.

The house was filled with turkey aroma as the bird was placed
in front of my father.Stomachs
rumbling, we watched in awe as the traditional carving of the bird began.

Dad started the process by slowly and than in ever increasing
speed clinking the knife with the sharpener like an Errol Flynn sword fight.When he was done, he plucked a non-existent
hair from his bald pate and faked splitting the fake hair down the middle.Everyone laughed at this traditional carver’s
joke, a joke done by my grandfather, and his father before him.

My father never stood up to carve the bird, he remained
seated and in control.First he cut the
wings, then the legs and thighs, placing them on a separate plate.He went on to cut the breast, saving a bit of
the crispy skin for everyone.The
oyster, the juicy dark meat under the bird behind the thigh was saved for the
master carver. Each serving was cut to order.“White, dark, or a little of both?” was asked of everyone.

Each plate was then passed around and covered with potatoes,
beans, creamed oysters and rolls. It was finally placed in front of a starving
family member who was forced to wait until everyone at the table was served. Each diner waited eagerly in front of his dish
like a dog commanded to stay…stay…stay…until the last member had a plate in
front of him and mom nodded her head; there was an eight second blessing, and
we were all turned loose.

The ensuing carnage was followed with pie (choice of apple,
pumpkin or mince) and vanilla ice cream (Breyer’s with the specks of vanilla
bean).

Thanksgiving weekend was celebrated with more football, and the
traditional turkey, mayo, cranberry sauce and stuffing sandwiches.

Thanksgivings have changed since the dinners of my
youth.The finery at the table is not quite
as fine, the dinner is on time and the end of the Detroit Lions mismatch is missed.I carve the bird before the family is called
to the table.I carve standing up and
with much grunting, sweating and occasional swearing. The traditional carver’s skill was not passed on
to me.

Dinner is served buffet style.Family members are still starved, dress is
less formal and the agonizing carving wait is gone.

The turkey is still traditionally moist and delicious, and I
am still traditionally thankful for the friends and family that enjoy it
together.

Ditto on the green-beans-in-mushroom-soup, and the canned cranberry jelly (the jelly, not the stuff with chunks o' cranberries in it). Jen makes a sweet-potato casserole (heavy on the pecans and brown sugar) that's to die for, and squash (a real one, not the frozen brick-o-squash). Pies, of course - pumpkin, apple, pumpkin, cherry, peach and pumpkin. One year, someone brought a raisin pie, and that was WAY delicious. . .

My dad always did the ceremonial dismemberment of the turkey, as well, and nowadays, it has fallen to me, altho I am much less schooled in the ways of ceremonial turkey-carving (we just ask, 'white or dark', and 'a little of both' is one of the optional responses; saves a few words that way. . .)

My Lions play every Thanksgiving, and so do the guys with Stars on Thars, but they never play each other, 'cuz that would mean the TV guys would only have one game, instead of two. This year, we play Houston, which means that the traditional Thanksgiving Day beat-down of the Lions will probably continue for one more year, at least. . .

I can't even imagine not standing to cut the turkey. oh well. I'm all for just being comfy for thanksgiving. If I had to dress up, I wouldn't go. But I do vaguely remember my mom making us be dressed nice. yuk. be comfy, eat till you can't move, nap.

Your description brings back many Thanksgiving memories for me as well, especially the part about the little repeated joke from generation to generation. Thanks for sharing your memories and if I don't hear from you before the holiday have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Sounds like a great tradition although not sure anyone nowdays would like to sit down to eat in a collar and tie !My Dad is great at carving - my husband not so much - but it all tastes good anyway (even if it isn't thanksgiving !!!)Have the best day !Me

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
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