Lunatic Lead Tenant

Posted on May 25, 2009

This post is from an article I wrote for the Urban Seed journal in May 2003, when Kylie and I were living in a lead tenant household for Youth For Christ. Lead tenants are meant to be role models for almost-independent young adults, which these boys were certainly not. You can find the full article here.

It is full-moon: the lunatics have come out. Jason and Tim, despite our pleas, hoist themselves into the roof with the aid of several telephone directories. Apparently they intend to exterminate the rat population that plagues our house.

Suellen, Kylie and I would not normally be too anxious – we knew that being “lead tenants”; to three boisterous teenagers would not result in peace and quiet. However, the landlord is here: the vicar of the church that owns our house is dining with us. He makes a Christian effort to relax in the face of roof antics and the attentions of Nat, who turns on the charm with his best religious jokes. What’s Jesus’ favourite band? Nine Inch Nails. What’s this (shape yourself as if crucified)? A prick of a way to spend Easter. Boom-boom. Plaster cracks in the roof and the vicar’s face tightens visibly. We laugh nervously.

Later that night, Jason and Tim play Limp Biskit full blast and tear palings from the fence that adjoins the church. Luckily, the vicar has departed. Tomorrow night the boys will break into my bedroom, retrieve the confiscated television and barricade themselves inside Tim’s caravan.