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Personalities of Illness

By Lisa Belkin October 26, 2010 5:00 pmOctober 26, 2010 5:00 pm

Illustration by Barry Falls

Have you had your flu shot? Remember last year, when you forgot? Jennifer Bowen hasn’t had hers yet, which is surprising, given her description of how miserable things become at her house whenever a common viral bug makes the inevitable rounds.

Bowen writes the blog Instructions Not Included for the Belleville News-Democrat in Illinois, and this week she looks at how run-of-the-mill illness distills us down to our essence, magnifying our healthy personas. She makes this point using her two daughters as examples, then gets around to her husband and herself:

Gabby sits around and makes sure everyone knows how terrible she is feeling. She points out each ache she has and gets out every electric blanket to spend her sickness curled up on the couch, glaring at everyone who glances her way as if they were the root cause of her misery.

She mumbles about her aches, pains, coughs and sore throat but pitches a fit if you try to convince her to take cold medicine. She’d rather sit around and be miserable and snap at everyone in the house than swallow an over-the-counter remedy.

Boogie doesn’t stop moving unless she is truly incapacitated. She’ll take her medicine if she feels really bad. But honestly, she has to feel pretty terrible to be willing to take it. It’s when she’d rather lie around and be silent that I know she’s feeling really, really bad and needs to stay home and just veg in front of “Dragonball Z” for the day. She’s one of those kids you want to pamper and coddle and baby when she’s sick, because it’s so obvious she’s miserable that you want to do everything you can to make her feel better.

The dad, oh, the dad. He’s the absolute worst sick person I know. He can’t just lie there, take his medicine and deal with it. He has to whine about it and make sure everyone knows exactly how horrible he feels and how you should be doing everything for him while he’s sick.

He takes his temperature every 15 minutes and likes to keep a variety of cold medicines on the table next to him, as well as a box of Kleenex, a trash can, the remote control and a slew of bottled beverages. He is fond of sniffling loudly and when he talks he has managed to master the I’m-very-nearly-dead voice.

I am a very grumpy sick person. I don’t complain at anyone. I’m just grumpy, because I absolutely hate being sick. I would rather endure the sting of a thousand fire ants than be at all sick. I hate the time it wastes being sick, and I will fight it tooth and nail. I’m likely to spend my illness denying that I’m sick, still doing my housework and chores and refusing to call in to work sick. Because it’s easier to pretend you’re not sick than to admit some little microscopic organism got the better of you.

Predictable, right? Mom is stoic and unyielding, while Dad crumples and reverts to helplessness? Except at our house it is just the opposite. I head for bed at the first ache or tickle and my husband has been known to insist he is “just fine” hours before being hospitalized.

Who plays which role at your house? And has thinking about this prompted you to got get your flu shot?

About

We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. At Motherlode, lead writer and editor KJ Dell’Antonia invites contributors and commenters to explore how our families affect our lives, and how the news affects our families—and all families. Join us to talk about education, child care, mealtime, sports, technology, the work-family balance and much more