I decided to carry this thread over from the previous forum as more and more people were flexing their creative muscles and letting the inspiration fly. So more of the same please guys.
Also if anyone wants to bring over anything they've written on the old thread that they're especially proud of and would like it here by all means bring it over. Because apparently archiving is too much effort for me.

When showing people your work, most comments you get tend to be along the lines of "I liked/didn't like that" and not much else. You can't really build upon or learn from it.
But if there's a particular part of storytelling you struggle with, be it narrative, plotting, dialogue, sentence construction or even grammar and spelling I thought this would be a great place to hone those skills.

All you would have to do is not even post a full story. A snippet from a scene or a conversation you're working on would do. People could post suggestions or even links that offer relevant advice for what you're going for.

This all came about because the feedback I was getting from my Creative Writing Course tutor (who writes official documentation for the DWP) wasn't particularly helpful to me. I wrote a letter asking him to not only say "you did this wrong" but give me advice that wasn't pulled straight out of my text book.

Any and all writers are welcome. Don't worry if you don't think you're very good, or experienced enough. We're all here to learn and experiment. Any form of writing is also welcome. Whether it's a short story, start of a novel or a poem.

We had a story competition on the old forum that was a lot of fun, so I'd like to make that a bit more of a regular thing too. Any suggestions regarding this are encouraged.

Happy writing!

Here's 2 short stories I wrote on the previous thread to kick things off...

Drat!

Dressed in a long black dress and a tall pointy hat, she looked at herself in the mirror and cackled.
“Ooh, I’m such a...witch.” said Rose
Rose grabbed her broomstick and leaned out of the window. The sky was a beautiful cerulean blue and the sun was shining.
“Perfect flying weather today.” She smiled. “Ebby?”
The black cat snoozing on her bed woke up and stretched. She leaped down off the bed and padded over to her master.
“Good girl Ebony. OK, now hop on.”
Rose tied back her long, golden hair. She adjusted her hat and mounted her broom, with Ebony perched behind her. She took a deep breath.
“Today’s the day,” she whispered. “Up, up and away!”
The broomstick shuddered and shot up, straight out of the window, leaving Rose and Ebony in a heap on the floor. Ebony hissed at the rapidly disappearing broomstick.
“Aaaaaargh!” screamed Rose in frustration. “Why can’t I get it right?”
Defeated, she plonked herself onto her slightly charred bed and stared at the various failed potion stains covering the walls. Ebony jumped onto her lap and started to purr as Rose’s hand automatically began to stroke her soft fur.
“At least I have you, Ebby.” Rose grumbled. “Let’s try something else.”
She walked over to her cauldron and placed Ebony onto the work top. She flicked through the pages of her spell book.
“Looks like we won’t be going out today.... Ooh! How about I cook up a potion to make you talk?”
Ebony stared, her tail twitched.
“Don’t look at me like that. I promise not to blow you up.”
Rose began to pull out various ingredients from the potion cabinet and casually threw them into the pot. As she began to stir the mixture her mind wandered to the day she first became a witch.

The sun was shining brightly over the clearing in the enchanted forest. Rose had sighed as she looked longingly out of her window.
“I’ve grown so tired of waiting...”
DING DONG!
Rose had jumped up with excitement. She ran to the window and there was a young man riding a winged horse.
“Finally!” she exclaimed.
He handed over a large parcel and flew away. Rose carried the parcel over to her bed and hurriedly ripped off the packaging. She’d looked inside the box and pulled out a large book entitled ‘How to Become a Wicked Witch.’
Alongside the book was a cauldron, a bunch of different spell ingredients, a broomstick and a small rattling box with holes in it marked ‘Familiar’. Curious, she’d opened the box and out tumbled a little black kitten.
SMYTH/DRAT/3
“Aww, how cute!” Rose had picked up the kitten. “I’m going to call you...Ebony.”
Ebony had mewed happily.
“Ooh, there’s a note, ‘We at Home Learn Enterprises hope you enjoy your course; please find enclosed your complimentary pointy hat. We wish you the best of luck in your new career.’ Isn’t that nice?”
Her bright blue eyes had sparkled with excitement as she started to read her new book.

Four years and several explosions later, Rose still hadn’t received her certificate of Magical Mastery.
Rose began to cough as black smoke poured out of the cauldron.
“It’s a shame that the dragon I conjured ate all my paperwork, I’d be certified by now.” she sighed to herself. “It feels like I’ll never achieve my goal.”
“Especially if you choke to death.” said a voice amongst the smoke.
“Who said that?”
The smoke began to clear but all Rose could see was Ebony sitting by the cauldron.
“Ebby...did you...talk?”
“Either that, or the smoke is making you hallucinate.” said Ebony.
“You can talk? You can talk!”
“Yes, I can talk... No wonder it’s taking you so long to become a witch.” Ebony rolled her eyes.
“I’m not a total failure!” shouted Rose happily, ignoring Ebony’s comment.
“I’m very happy for you, but what are you going to do now? I doubt a talking cat is going to help with your problem.”
“True, but I have to keep trying.” Rose smiled. “This is fantastic. What should I try next?”
Rose rifled through the pages of her book.
“Ooh! What if I turn you into another animal? One that can fly?” asked Rose.
“Haven’t you experimented on me enough for one day? Besides, isn’t a witch traditionally supposed to have a cat?”
“I’ll turn you back...probably.” Rose muttered to herself. “Okay, the book says I need a sample from you...”
“OUCH!”
“Sorry.” Rose added a tuft of Ebony’s fur to the cauldron. “It also says I need a sample of the thing you’ll be turning into.”
Rose looked around at her room. She glanced towards the bed.
“Aha!”
Rose pulled out a pair of scissors and cut out a square of charred cloth from the bed covers.
“Dragon’s breath!” she cried, triumphantly.
“What? You’re going to turn me into a dragon??”
“It’s perfect, dragons can fly and I know you wouldn’t set fire to me or anything.”
“Don’t be so sure of that...” Ebony began to back away.
“Don’t be such a scaredy-cat.” Rose added the burnt cloth to the mixture.
The cauldron began to bubble. Pink froth oozed everywhere. Ebony glared at Rose. In seconds the froth completely covered Ebony.
“Mrrraaaaow!!”
“Ebby? Are you okay?” Rose began to panic as she tried to blow away the bubbling concoction.
“Mrrrrooooaaarrrrr!!”
“Ebony?” Rose squeaked.
The froth suddenly disappeared with an audible pop, revealing a rather large dragon-cat.
“What have you done to me?” Ebony growled. Her cat face looked comical attached to a furry black dragon’s body. Her large wings scraped the ceiling and her enlarged cat paws knocked over the now empty cauldron.
“Oh dear...you’re half dragon...half cat....” Rose struggled to contain her laughter. “You’re a drat!”
“Very funny. Why didn’t it work properly? Oh, look who I’m talking to.”
“Hey!” Rose pretended to look hurt. “Maybe the dragon’s breath wasn’t fresh enough.”
“Could you for once, think things through?” Ebony flicked her new dragon tail.
“Maybe I did think things through!” Rose argued. “Now I have a companion I can ride, but is also fluffy and soft.”
“Was this your plan all along?” asked Ebony.
“Yes. As far as I’m concerned, I’m already a witch. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that!”
“Good for you. So...are you really ready to go then? Aren’t you going to miss it?”
“Definitely not. I only have one goal in mind now...” Rose grinned as she climbed onto Ebony’s back.
“What’s that then?”
“Revenge.”
Ebony flapped her new wings and flew out of the large window. Rose cackled as the tall stone tower she was trapped in disappeared out of sight.
“We’re off to see the real wicked witch...” said Princess Rose.

And this was my entry in our one and only story competition. (Hopefully more to follow)

The Life of the Party

Becky sat alone in the stock room of the toy shop where she worked. She had just finished eating her lunch and was trying to summon up the strength to get back to work. She always hated this part of the job, but always lied and said it was her favourite. Even though it was a difficult thing to do, she always felt like it was better than stacking the shelves or dealing with customers. She sat there for what seemed like a while, testing how long she could play with the canvas strap in her hands before having to open the gross grey/pink bag it was attached to. The low hum of the fluorescent lights comforted her and at the same time made her wish she wasn't sat here in the cold, dusty stock room.
You'll be grateful for the cold in a minute, she thought to herself.
With a sigh, she opened the canvas bag and with some difficulty pulled out the large mass of golden brown fur.
"Ew. I've been working here so long, just touching this thing goes through me." she shuddered.
She moved the fur out of the way and reached inside the bag once more. She pulled out a giant T-shirt, huge denim skirt and a very large pair of bright pink knickers.
"I hope no one tries to undress me this time." she grumbled.
She reached into the bag again and pulled out what looked like a pair of fluffy slippers she used to have as a kid. She slipped off her white trainers and started to take off her uniform.
Once she was down to just her underwear, she grabbed the mass of fur she pulled out earlier.
"This is always the worst part..."
Trying to only breathe through her mouth, she found the opening to the furry suit and stepped inside. The canvas lining felt rough against her skin and always felt damp. She tried very hard not to think about how many other people have worn this disgusting thing. She wriggled and pulled until the suit was halfway up her waist. She reached behind herself to try and find the zip.
"Hang on....where's my tail?" she groped around her backside for a moment before finding the white fluffy ball tucked inside. She pulled it out and found the zip, pulling it up as high as she could without dislocating her shoulder.
She slipped her arms through the sleeves and pulled the rest of the suit up over her chest. Being careful not to get the fur in her mouth this time.
"I'm bloody tired after all that!" she whined.
She grabbed the pink knickers and making sure to locate the tail hole she pulled them on and pulled her tail through. There was a loud crash as the stock room door was flung open, which nearly made Becky jump out of her skin - literally.
It was her manager, Dave. Oh how she hated him. She was on track to start her manager training last year before she went on holiday, but when she came back this new manager had taken over and stripped her of all her shifts and started her back at square one working part time again.
"Becky. I see I've caught you in your underwear once again." he laughed obnoxiously.
She forced a half-giggle and set about trying to wriggle into the denim skirt, which luckily, had an elasticated waistband.
"Here, I'll give you a hand."
Dave walked over to her and grabbed hold of her tail.
"Honk! Honk!" he laughed again.
Becky couldn't even muster a fake laugh this time. While he pulled up the zip the rest of the way, she put her furry mittens and slippers.
"We put the head on next don't we?" he asked, grabbing the large fur and Styrofoam prison.
"Not yet, I need to get the T-shirt on." she grabbed the shirt and unzipped the neck hole so she could step into it and pulled it up as far as her furry waist.
"Ok, now bring the head over..." she quickly tied her her long brown hair up into a messy bun so it wouldn't stick to her sweaty skin later. Not that it makes any difference. You always get completely drenched. she thought.
Dave lowered the horrific cage onto her head. She could feel the wire frame pressing into her scalp because the top of the head was bent, due to some idiot putting a heavy box on top of the mascot bag.
She lifted up her arms, so Dave could fasten the Velcro straps underneath her arms, securing the head. She could hear muffled giggling as his hands got closer to her chest.I swear if he 'Honks' my boobs I'm going to punch him in the nuts.
"Hey, it's a good job Paulette's a girl bunny....your figure makes it a bit too obvious." he chuckled.
Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean.....
Without being able to see what she's doing, Becky slips her arms into the T-shirt sleeves, while Dave zipped her up.
"Hang on...I can't see." she tried to peer out through Paulette's mesh eyes but there was only darkness.
"Your ears have fallen forwards, hold on a sec."
Light returned as the ears were put back into place. Becky still couldn't see very well and had to be led by the hand by Dave up to the shop floor.
"Wait here a sec..." Dave stepped through the shop door. Becky could hear the kids laughing and yelling. She leaned against the wall and tried to take a few deep breaths, which was getting increasingly difficult as the suit was pressing down on her chest and the only air she was getting was through the mesh eyes. She could feel trickles of sweat running down her neck already.
"Who wants to see Paulette?" a muffled voice shouted. The kids all squealed.
Suddenly a door opened and a hand pulled her though. The shop was brightly lit, but Becky couldn't see the kids, only hear them as they ran towards her. She felt over a dozen little bodies collide into her legs as they hugged her.
Can the poor things not smell this monstrosity? Becky wondered.
"Now let's take a picture of the birthday girl with Paulette." one of the parents shouted.
Becky felt something small tug her arm and she guessed that was said Birthday Girl. Being careful not to smack the child in the face this time, she carefully put her arm around the girl.
ok...I'm pretty sure that's her shoulder. Now thumbs up for the camera.....why are you smiling? They can't see you.
Becky heard the kids and the birthday girl laughing.
"Now Paulette, let's take a picture without your hand covering the birthday girl's face!"
How the hell am I supposed to know that was her face?
"Hey kids, Paulette loves doing the Hokey Kokey. Shall we show them how it's done, Paulette?" said Dave.
No, Paulette hates the Hokey Kokey. I can't breathe as it is!
"You put your left arm in...."
Oh God....kill me now.
Becky tried her best to keep up with the moves, being extra careful not to step on the children either side of her as they "shake it all about".
At least I don't have to sing...knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra r-ow!! Ow! Ow! Ow! Why does this always happen??
Sweat had started trickling down her face in torrents and was now stinging Becky's eyes.
The rest of the party went without a hitch. Becky didn't crush any kids, no little boys tried to pull off her knickers and best of all, no dads tried to feel her up.
The kids all chorused goodbye as she was led back down to the stock room by Dave.
"Get me out, get me out, get me out!!"
Dave unfastened the Velcro straps under her arms and pulled the head off. Becky gasped as the cool, stale stock room air rushed into her lungs. Her hair was stuck to her glistening bright pink face and her eyes were bloodshot.
"Right, you've got ten minutes before I need you on the shop floor again." Dave disappeared out of the door..
"Ten minutes!? You didn't even unzip me!!"
Becky flopped down onto the stone floor ans stared at her over sized feet.
"This so isn't worth minimum wage." she grumbled.

They are by no means perfect, but I really enjoyed writing them. Hopefully re-posting this thread will inspire to write some new stuff.

Last edited by ChaosControl on Sat Dec 05, 2015 11:25 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Here is a thing I wrote. Appreciate its magnificence, critique it or whatever it is you people do on this thread.

Cold

Cold. So cold. I am so very cold. The entirety of my existence is cold. The cold is not bad. It is just there. It is part of me. I am the cold and the cold is me. What am I though? There is more to my being than just the cold. I am conscious. I am alive. Do I have senses? I can’t see. No, I can see. I just see nothingness. Is there anything to see? Is there a world around me? Yes. There are things passing through my consciousness. Thoughts. The thoughts carry knowledge. There is a world around me. I know this, but I don’t know how or why I do. I don’t remember what I know. I just know it.
I have a physical form. I can feel it. I have a body. I’m not sure what it is doing. There is gentle, repetitive movement. It is the flow of life through me. I have some kind of control over my body. I can move it ever so slightly. What do all these bits do? Oh, light. I can see light. It hurts. I have to undo that movement. I want to see the light though. I can try it again. I am adjusting. This is strange. I thought that once I could see things, I would understand what I know. I apparently do not know what this is.
I see colours. I understand those. Whites, greys, light blues. They all blur together. Wherever I am, whatever this place is, looks like it has been crystallised. No, I think it might be ice. I am able to move slightly and change my perspective. Water. I see water. I am surrounded by ice and it is melting. I can feel it. Water droplets. Cold to the touch. They are trickling down my skin. I want to see.
I adjust myself to look down where I can feel my body is. Is this what I am? It looks like ice. A strange body of ice. No. The ice surrounds most of my body. I can see through the ice. A pale pinkish colour. It is my skin. Hands stick out, free from the ice. These are my hands. I can move them.
Using what my thoughts know, I can understand things. There is only so much I know, however. This situation. I don’t understand it. Why is there so much ice? Why am I stood up covered in it? How did I get here?
These things are no longer important. I am thinking. I am trying to go through everything I know. There is so much. At the same time, there are things missing. Things I think I should know. Do different people not have different designations? Why can I not think of a name for myself? I know names, but none of them are a name that I think applies to me.
I have answered what I am. I understand that. I am a person. People are not like other things. There is more to them. I have a new question about myself. Who am I?

<Kaeetayel> Go for a team entirely composed of Eeveelutions
<Princess> that's effort
<Princess> I need to buy the stones/go to rocks/make them happy/touch Eevee
<Kaeetayel> The last one doesn't sound too bad

I'd actually like to read a bit more of that. Why is this person in ice? Where are they?
Good stuff. I enjoyed the pacing of it, like gasping for air while a million thoughts run through you head at the same time, whilst trying to put them in chronological order.

Rik helpfully sent me archived links from the previous thread so I'll include the pages that have people's previous works on. Go give them a read, there's some really great stuff.

Have a go, practice helps and I am sure you will get a lot of support here.

Anyone thinking of doing Namawrimo this year (you try to write a 50thousand word novel in a month)

It starts soon I cant remember when 1st of next month I think

I have tried a few years and actually managed it twice, made a little money from selling the first book I finished through it on amazon.... no one has ever brought the second one though add that to the fact im tired and usually prefer writing short works and I dont think im going to get involved this year.

Id like to say Id do it and do it with you but I have done it for the last two years and got finished books out of it and I tried it the two years before that and failed... If anyone does it though I am happy to help in anyway that I can ... advice if your stuck, proof read a bit (for feel not spelling or anything im dyslexic and likly to make it worse)

I've done NaNoWriMo past two years. It's quite challenging and tiring. You don't want to look at what you've done at all in December. Averaging 1,800 words a day is the best thing to do as it can leave you a rest day or two, especiall if you go over the target. Might give it a go again this year.

<Kaeetayel> Go for a team entirely composed of Eeveelutions
<Princess> that's effort
<Princess> I need to buy the stones/go to rocks/make them happy/touch Eevee
<Kaeetayel> The last one doesn't sound too bad

Quick question: if I was to do NaNoWriMo, would my work be copyrighted or would people be able to copy it? Also, what do publishers think of novels written in this month? Are they likely to get published or not?

I have done it and completed it twice , I have tried 3 times before and failed...

When I have failed its been a combination of being ill, lack of support etc.

The two years I managed it where the last two years . I have to basically thank my Fiancée for it.... if your going to do Nanowrimo you need a lot of positive energy around you people willing to give you time space etc.

My X I was with before that well I wont fully go into it but she was a major downer.

I self Publish my stuff through Amazon as kindle books.... if your worried a publisher might be an ass if it was a namo book just dont let them know.... I find if you finish it your left with a messy first draft... you then need a big rest and when you polish correct and order it enough youd want to show it its long after nanowrimo anyways

GhostOfWintrfellSnow wrote:Quick question: if I was to do NaNoWriMo, would my work be copyrighted or would people be able to copy it?

Anything you write yourself is copyrighted to you automatically. NaNoWriMo is no exception.

GhostOfWintrfellSnow wrote:Also, what do publishers think of novels written in this month? Are they likely to get published or not?

Some people manage to get their NaNoWriMo works published, but that's very much the exception. If you're writing an entire novel in a single month, it's probably going to be awful. And that's fine. It's part of the fun.

Thanks guys. I'm definitely going to give this a go.
Kerr, you're right about needing positive energy and support. I've never done NaNo before but I have dabbled with a few novels; if people don't give us the space we need, it becomes a nightmare!

Maybe if enough of us do NaNo, The Writer's Circle could be used to support one another through the month; post lil' extracts of what we've written and stuff.

I would attempt Nanowrimo if it weren't for the fact that I'd fall behind after like the first three days. I'm making much better progress on the story I'm working on at the minute than I've ever done on anything I've previously attempted to write so I don't want to demoralise myself by attempting Nano and failing miserably.
Plus school and stuff is annoying and time consuming and all that.

Ghost wrote:and since when has "being dumb" been a sin on the internet?

GhostOfWintrfellSnow wrote:Chaos, I've added the original writer's circle to the ONM Archives. Good to see you on SONM and you've brought your nail art with you

Kerr, thanks for posting about NaNoWriMo. Will be interesting to see what people come up with. How many times have you done it?

Thanks a bunch, it's much appreciated.

Yeah, I'll give NaNoWrMo a miss this year, but I'll definitely do what I can to encourage those taking part in this thread.
Which is what I created this thread for. Writing for the most part can be a very solitary experience and no one is a harsher critic than yourself. So I hope that people can feel like they can post their creations or their general concerns and feelings and hope with can help each other out. Because as fellow writers, we know what you're going through.

He had been unemployed for such a long time, it was almost hard to remember life having been any other way. Sure he had filled out thousands of application forms, posted off at least ten times as many CV’s and speculative letters but it had become some kind of ritual that he did just because it had cemented itself as part of his life as some kind of ritual. Never for one moment did he really believe anyone was going to give him a job, sure he got the odd reply saying that he had been considered but someone more qualified had been chosen, a few times he even got an interview but he never thought anyone would bother with him, not really. So when he had not only managed to get an interview but had made it to an assessment day he was filled with a strange mix of emotions including pride, excitement, and terror. Then he had passed his assessment, soon he had attended his first day of training, he was no longer unemployed. For so long he had been the one on the outside, he didn’t have a job, his health had not been the best not since that day eight years ago, the one he never wanted to think about, but the one he seemed to relive every time he closed his eyes.

He had been through some rough times in his life, it had seemed like one long hard slog so far with only the occasional pleasant occurrence seeming to offer a passing moment of escape, a chance to forget about his worries but these had seemed so few and fleeting. His friends, parents and teachers had always told him that you have to plan for life, that you can’t just float like a leaf in the breeze or you will end up blown down a path that you would never wish to walk. It was aggravating for him though everyone around him seemed to know who they were, what they wanted to do, who they wanted to be but he felt lost and alone wandering in the darkness of an uncertain future.

Sometimes there had been a glimmer of hope, something had interested him and he thought just maybe it would be the one thing he would grab hold of and run with. He knew a few other people who were as confused about the future as he had been, but one by one he would see them get hit with some kind of invisible lightning, from out of nowhere they would simply proclaim they were going to be a Vet or a police officer and then they would start doing everything they could to direct there life in that direction. Daniel would mourn the loss of a fellow confused brother but would try to keep himself positive by repeating the words which had become some form of mantra to him “It will happen, the lightning will strike you and then you will know your true path”.

That right there....is exactly where I'm at in my own life. I'm sort of floating in a sea of uncertainty. I'm fast approaching my 30th birthday and I still don't really know what I want to be. I'm not ready for kids. I'm half heartedly applying for jobs I'm qualified for and trying to pour all my creative energy into my nail art and writing because those are the things I'm passionate about, but I still feel like somewhat as a failure of an adult.