Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I first want to thank you for your patience. I know that you all had to wait a long time during the jury selection process. I am sure that many of you were uncomfortable not just with the wait, but also some of the questions put to you. I am sorry. It was not our plan to be invasive, but we wanted to ensure that we had found a jury that met the standards of our constitution. I salute you all. Without people like you our judicial system would not be what it is.

Sometimes it is hard to put preconceived notions to one side. Yes, I am wearing a nice suit, and it is freshly cleaned and pressed. But it was not always that way. Cheney Mason paid for it, well the court was too cheap to sign off on the bill.

But, this is not about me, this is about my client Casey Anthony. She stands accused of First Degree Murder, a crime that if found proven can only have one of two outcomes. Life Imprisonment with no chance of ever being a free person again, or the Death Penalty. It is our intention to offer you the truth. Ms Anthony should not be in this room today. The only offense she committed was loving her daughter Caylee.

We will show you proof over the next few days. It is important as jurors that you keep an open mind. There has been a great deal of press interest in this case. I think that it would be pertinent to explain that the only reason myself, Cheney Mason, and several of the other people involved in the Casey Anthony defense went on every TV news program known to man was just that we want to get the truth out there. I also want to dispel any notions that I might have a TV gig with a Spanish TV station. I also want to point out that it will not be called the Nancy And Jose Entertainment Show.

I made it clear several times that I would explain this case quickly, and everyone would understand, and my client Casey would be walking out of this court a free woman. This would have happened two years ago, but apparently my letter to Judge Strickland got lost. I am sure that I had enough postage on it, and he should have received it before Feb/1. However, it is important to not dwell in the past.

We must focus on the present. Oh, I am out of my Three Minutes! Let me say this, we are going to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the only Loony Tunes characters are, the dysfunctional parents George and Cindy Anthony, and her brother Lee.

There are other aspects that we will be discussing. We live in a ‘wired’ world, why would anyone go searching for a missing child on horseback? This is Orlando, not Texas.

There is also going to be a pile of Bunk Science. It is going to be long and boring. No juror wants to be taken back to grade school. Our plan is to let the prosecution introduce itÂ and then we will bore you to sleep with the reasons it is ‘bunk science’.

Think about it, you pour a cup of coffee, and put some milk in it. How many of you smell the milk first? Assume for a moment that your carton of milk was left in the truck of your car. Out in the sun? When you find it, you probably will just toss it in the garbage. But, and I do want you to think about it, if you opened it, would it smell of a dead body? How about an empty Pizza Box? Given time, and enough heat, everything smells bad. Smell science is junk science. I know that some of you have children or grandchildren, you all know what a hair band is. The prosecution however plan on boring you all on the subject.

My client is innocent. We are going to prove beyond doubt that Casey was abused physically and sexually, and she suffered from PTSD as a result of discovering her daughter missing. You will discover that the real culprits in this case are in fact a Nanny, a Meter Reader, and the ex boyfriend and his father.

There are also some rumors swirling around the tattoo that Casey decided to get ‘Bella Vita’ it has been widely reported that it is a popular Italian phrase meaning ‘The Good Life’.Â In fact Casey’s tat had a completely different meaning, she was on the verge of starting a new career in Dentistry. The well known German firm ofÂ VITA Zahnfabrik are specialists in the development of prosthetic dental devices. Bella, also is a word that is often misunderstood. The Latin origin also means Pugnacious, My client merely wanted to impress her potential employer with the tat ‘Pugnacious False Teeth’.

Simon Barrett

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Whoa, JB! Nutso much? We waited three years for that statement? I almost fell over laughing and crying at the same time.. That is hands down the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Pugnacious false teeth? WTF? Now, we all know CA has horse teeth, and yes they do look fake, but I highly doubt a young 22 year old woman wanted a tattoo with that meaning.. Are you trying to entertain, or counsel? What an insult to the human race, JB. Jose and Casey are the biggest Loony Tunes characters of the bunch, and that’s not a compliment in the least.. because we all know how crazy the rest of Casey’s clan is.. Throw in a bunch of crazy BS you spent three years scheming? All so you can try to confuse the juror’s.. I pray to god that those remarks, and the DT’s shady tactic’s don’t fool even one of the juror’s. I don’t think it’s going to work DT. What a low class scum bag attorney you’ve proven yourself to be. Also, let it be known that when you knowingly made the comment, “You’re acting like a two year old”, to your client when you knew damn well the world would hear it.. Then you made a huge deal of turning the mic’s off. You wanted the juror’s to hear that remark. Afterall, that’s a big part of your defense tactic, right? That your client, Crazy Anthony, is immature.. ha. I can’t wait until Tuesday. OH, and please stop flirting back and forth JB and CA. We’re all aware of your previous romantic fling, but no we don’t want to see it in the courtroom. It’s disgusting!

Don’t forget, this case is about Caylee Marie Anthony, the innocent two year old your client coldly and calculatedly murdered. Your client killed her daughter and left her to rot in her car trunk while she went out and did, well you know.. I hope you can sleep at night JB. You’re a real schmuck!

rukidding? said,

in May 14th, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Casey: The world finds (Day 5 of Jury Selection) your new homlier look, your spaced out, sad look, and what appears to be a baby blanket or shirt of Caylee’s that you’re carrying.. incredibly unbelievable and pathetic! Thanks for the entertainment this past few years, but we’ll all be glad when your entertaining is over! Which should be within 6-8 weeks! Please let there be justice for Caylee. Thank god for that:)

SondraK said,

in May 14th, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Funny, funny piece, Simon. Best laugh this week. No sympathy for Casey at all, and praying she gets everything she deserves.

Cin George Lee are you Listenening?
I can’t wait for you three to sit besides your lovely daughter slash brother and defend her!!!
Beas biaz Baez is A great catch for Casey
He is a lying fabricator !!!!!
They make a great couple
Have fun in the room makin bacon next to the other
Loon that you just hired with a death-row murderer husband
This case is a MAJOR joke!!!!

BarbieWA said,

in May 14th, 2011 at 11:30 pm

BRILLIANT! koudos!

sue said,

in May 14th, 2011 at 11:43 pm

LMAO I was thinking mid way man this is 4 real Thank you we all need a laugh after this week. S

Ann - Tx said,

in May 15th, 2011 at 1:42 am

I love satire, Simon! What a great article. After this week, I needed a good laugh about Bozo and Team Circus!

I can visualize Baez using this as his opening statement! Smile, smirks and with a click of his pen. LMAO!

Sadly, Baez’ approach will be oddly similar and she will most likely walk, unless they plea. Hard to find a good jury these days. Please, may she be found quilty and die in prison before her appeals run out. And may her parents and siblings also die painfully and slowly or painfully and suddenly, i”m really not particular on that subject as they are only interested parties.

Fran said,

in May 15th, 2011 at 11:59 am

I think it’s possible that George did abuse Casey. He walks into a jail and first thing of his mouth to his daughter is “hello beautiful” What father talks like that to their daughter? I could see him telling her you sure are beautiful if she was going to her senior prom or getting ready to walk her down the isle. But reguardless of whether he did or didn’t does not get her off if she killed her daughter. Also the part the attorney’s are saying to the potential juror’s about statement impack before a DP is handed down. Who is going to get up there and tell the court of how much they hurt for the lost of little Caylee? Who is going to ask for justice to be done for Little Caylee? No what is going to happen is the parents are going to get up there and beg for Casey’s life. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to hear it. I want to hear someone make a statement about what was taken away from them by the death of Little Caylee Marie. I pray someone will do that.

Do you want justice for your grandchild? Your grandchild was brutally murdered and left in garbage bags to be scavenged by bugs, animals and to rot in the Florida heat. If it was proven that some deranged psycho killed your grandchild, would you not want justice? Would you not want them to fry for what they did to Caylee?

I’m going to assume your answer would be “YES”! So when it is proven that Casey was in fact that deranged psycho who killed your grandchild, will you still not want justice for Caylee? Doesn’t Caylee deserve justice no matter WHO killed her? I can only pray your answer is again “YES”!

bobbye imbragulio said,

in May 16th, 2011 at 11:51 am

I’ve been trying to give her the benfit of the
doubt on sexual abuse charges but can’t get past some simple facts…if your bra was being
pushed up over your breasts while you were sleeping wouldn’t you WAKE UP?…if your brother was molesting you regularly wouldn’t you confront him the FIRST TIME and start locking your door? Casey didn’t, she said she
FINALLY told him she would KILL him if he didn’t stop…what took her so long?? I don’t
believe her it’s just another convienent LIE
she thinks will SAVE HER LIFE.

Missy4809 said,

in May 16th, 2011 at 8:51 pm

IMO I can’t see KC wearing a bra, no matter what kind it is. People can fool other people, but I just don’t believe GA or LA, molested KC. Since KC is such a lier and fabricates stories, this is just another one to chalk up. (I Just had a thought) Did KC ever say she was a virgin back then? or was she ever one??? With the Nanny story, which evidently went on for some time, and had her parents, brother, and the crowd she hung around with, believing she left Caylee with Zanny, how in the world is the Dufense going to change that story in to a molestation. We know that anyone that would do such a horrific deed has got to have a screw loose. What did their family Dr. and her medical records show? For the Dufense to come up with such a story to save KC’s life, or get out of jail free, are they exempt from lies in court? It just amazes me on how the Dufense can get away with the stories that they kept coming up with, and now this theory tops them all. I wonder what JP really thinks of it? When they are interviews potential jurors, they are worried some of them may be lying, when the Dufense is lying through their teeth. I just pray that the jurors can see through this BS and see the truth. I just see the juridical system, that is suppose to be fair, gives the defendant a chance to have a hand picked jury, besides out side of the area where the act was done, and Dufense can be drum up any story to make it appear that what ever their client did, was due to family besides friends. What a crock.

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