Reccommended Reading?

Hi!

I've been around here for awhile (since TTC actually) but haven't posted for AGES.

The last 7 months have been soooooooo amazing!! My views and beliefs on just about everything in life has altered and the world seems different now. Preeching to the converted, i know, otherwise you all wouldn't be here!!

I used to think that strict routiens and controlled crying would be the 'right' thing to do for baby, but NOW i couldn't bare it. I know because i went through a silly couple of days and went against all my instincts to give CC a go - well i think i cried as much as Evan did and neither of us got any more sleep. I am now a TOTAL believer in maternal instincts. I would never have thought that my instincts regarding my baby's needs would be such a dominant issue in my parenting - i am a 'by the book' girl most of the time!!

Ok, get to the point!! LOL! I have been absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the connection i share with my son. I feel so in touch with him, to the point that i have even started to question spirituality (i am about the last person to ever have anything to do with religion), but there's something greater than just facts at work here now in my life. And i'm interested in knowing more about it. I have read Elizabeth Pantly's No Cry Sleep Solution and agree with most of the senitments there. Most of her 'plan' we did already, but it was a great start to have my feelings validated. Most ppl i speak to about these things assume they "know better" what's right for my baby because they've had babies. Well, they haven't had Evan!

I was just wondering if anyone has read any books on the connection between mother and child that they can reccommend to me? I love reading (when i get the chance!!) and would love to know more about these feelings (surely they're not all just overactive hormones????!!!!!). I read somewhere in someone's post (sorry i can't remember where!) that boys were more suseptable to feelings of abadonment. Is this real? Why? How can i know more?!!

Sorry about the long winded post (the glass of red is probably helping in that respect!!).

Linds, I just want to say that a lot of what you said is just like me. I am a routine person all the way, until now!! I always thought when you had a baby your goal was to teach them how to 'fit into life'......Well....havent I changed!!! A lot thanks to BB, but also just because my instincts are so strong about not doing that. Now we hardly have a routine at all but I have a very happy bub & love being a Mum so much!!!

LG - great to see you posting and I am glad you have found your groove with your beautiful son. It's great when you finally come to realise what you already have, everything you need is right there and to see another mother find it is wonderful

Steve Biddulph's book 'Raising Boys' is brilliant and talks about being more prone to feelings of abandonment. If your hubby can read it too, it's got sections for dads about their sons too.

Pinky McKay's books are brilliant too, she's got another book coming out in June / July about sleep - can't wait for that one.

Are you after something which is more about trusting your instincts and gentle parenting or more of the spiritual / hormonal / chemical kind about bonding?

Well done on getting that bond nice and strong too. I felt I lost it when I went to the mother and baby unit with Marisa. I didn't come out with the same baby or same mummy that I was. Well done mummy you should like you are doing a fabulous job!