Why Being Nice Trumps Everything Else

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Why Being Nice Trumps Everything Else

That’s not to say I wasn’t kind or that I always operated malevolently though more so a comment on my outlook, how I saw the world. Where success, joy and the awesome life I craved were concerned, nice was no part of that.

It isn’t though is it?

No matter where you look, when we collectively talk about success and getting the most out of life, nice is not part of the dialogue and it certainly wasn’t a part of mine. It wasn’t a KPI, nor a goal written in the staffroom, school didn’t mark according to it and it wasn’t a discussion between my colleagues, clients or friends.

So if not nice what are we? I’d say focused and busy. Busy doing a million things at once and focused on getting everything we want.

The Modern Reality.

In this mode, nice often fails to leave its’ mark, it isn’t efficient and therefore it is often left behind. I identified with this concept all too well and by the end of 2012 was ready to welcome something else in my world. In the early months of 2013 I made a decision to depart the corporate world.

All of a sudden I had time; for thinking, reflecting, stopping and later creating and building. Nice started to appear in a big way. In my daily interactions with loved ones, with strangers, with supermarket cashiers and eventually with myself and it felt good, really good. As my immediate world was shifting so dramatically, I observed minor changes too. Relationships with people who didn’t value nice were becoming increasingly difficult to maintain whilst companies and individuals seeking to get something from me with the same disposition were causing me to feel incredibly upset.

This was a whole new frontier.

Hadn’t I become used to this in all my years? Was this not the way of the world? Perhaps yes, though for me not any more and I decided to push back. Sometimes dramatically, though more often than not, subtly and quietly, choosing instead to live with my shiny new nice value in clear sight, not concerning myself so much with those who disagreed.

What this looked like is not being bullied into work that 2 years ago I wouldn’t have even hesitated to take, becoming a key member of an incredible volunteer organisation, standing up for those who were being victimised (quite literally in the street) and enjoying the most incredible connections with people who saw nice and operated with it in mind.

When nice enters your world in all capacities it feels pretty damn incredible. When the people you work with, for and alongside are people you like, those who respect and like you too, well life really doesn’t get much better than that! I’m not saying nice doesn’t exist in the corporate, or any other world, though I am saying it’s all too rare in all of its’ forms; from you, from others and from within.

Operating from the heart and valuing nice above other targets, goals and KPI’s has given me a greater quality of life than anything has before. I’m not perfect and valuing nice doesn’t mean that I always am, though I’m certainly a heck of a long way from where I was. I take the time to listen or appreciate someone’s journey and their story before steamrolling them with my own agenda. Nice isn’t about being left behind, in fact I’d say it’s quite the opposite and something our world could do with a little more of.

Why Being Nice Trumps Everything Else was last modified: December 30th, 2014 by Nadia Felsch

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