User talk:Mimo&maxus/Archive1

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This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read.

Ah, the Greek wind, the water lapping

Hello, and good to meet you. Two things, on the Welcome Party, the spacing was intentional to give an impression of time in between the events of the party, not everything happening at once as soon as you walk in the door. Yeeps. And I saw you like toasted baby pages, please have a look at my UnBooks:Fishing For Children for another look at children under the pressure of the modern age. Glad you came here from there (although in cyberspace, no one can hear your scream). Enjoy! Aleister 8:25 3 10

Baby pic

You know, the concept works but the nipple on the hook can hardly be seen if the pic is small, and that's the only way it will fit on the page. Maybe I'll try to put it on the bottom. The article is up for Feature, if you'd like to vote for or again it. How did you decide to come over to Uncy from the Greek uncy, and will all of your fellow greek uncyarians envy you for your jump? I'll take a look at your page there, but I don't speak Greek, except all the words that trace back to the language. Aleister 10:14 3 10

I was really impressed with your articles and i said that it would be a nice idea if i could stay here. And then i got bored with frikipaideia and i decided to stay here. (sorry for my English, I am just a ██████ year old boy)------Mimo&maxus 10:23, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

There, I put your picture at the end of the page and recaptioned it. Your english is fine. Welcome, and enjoy your learning curve and experience here. Maybe you'd better say that you're a 24 year old with the heart of a ██████year old boy, or someone may run you off for being too young for this mentally disfiguring site. Aleister 10:44 3 10

yeah,i should do that. From now on i am a 24 year old man. Thanks for the warning.-------Mimo&maxus 10:48, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

Ask and you shall receive.

You asked and here it is, your beautiful dance:

Doesn't it just make you want to give your self a big hug? Dancing dude
-
Um It's kinda difficult to hug my self. Beautiful dance anyway. I just love all these dances. Especially the ones with nerds dancing like... you know.(cant find the word)--------

-My day is full of homework... I mean homework for 24 year old guys...of course...-----Mimo&maxus 12:27, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

Nice

Thanks for bringing in that cool gif on hippies. Needs to be enlarged so the gif moves, and maybe moved down a bit so it fits on the page (we have to take into account varioius screen widths here, people use different sizes to view the pages, and not crowd picures together or one on top another, at least too much). You are doing some goot work on Uncy! Aleister 11:36 9 10

I have a problem. When I edit something I cant put pictures or links. These buttons has dissapired. Help me!!! I also cant put my signature. HELP!!!

You're In the Army Now...

A Better Grue Army Introduction...

Attention!

Having recently joined the Grue Army, you are now allowed access to all Grue Army places and files with your level Phi clearance.

Accessible areas:

Your current fighter craft is the TIE Heavy Fighter. Should you wish to have a new one, place a message on the Commanding Officer's talk page, and he'll try to get you what you want. Look over the current war updates to browse our list of fighters.

Grue Army Main Base. Assign yourself to a squadron or two, then begin to carry out the primary orders of your squadron. The list of currently active vandals is at the bottom of the page. Study it, as you may come up against these foes during your tenure here.

Grue Army Peacekeeping Base. Should you assign yourself to Blue Squadron, you must add your name onto the list of Blue Squad members, plus send your training sheet to my talk page.

Grue Army Outpost Beta. Another secondary base specifically assigned to Twin Suns Squadron. If you join their ranks, add the template onto your userpage, add yourself to the list, and be sure to read the job information.

My talk page. If you have any information you wish to find out about the Grue Army, ask me on my talk page, and I will liemake something up give you the answer.

Grue Army Surplus And Treasury. Create an account here, and you'll be able to purchase whatever surplus we currently have. You will gain credits for following your squadrons' primary orders.

Current War Updates. Review this page to determine what your enemies are using, as well as updates of the Un-Wiki War. If you've found new war material for the Uncyclopedian Alliance, add it to the list. If you've found out about a new Wikipedian class of ship/vehicle/troop, add it as well. If you have heard about or seen a new battle, add it.

The Code of War. It explains some basic information about the Grue Army just like this template right here. It may be a bit out of date, but that will be fixed soon.

Help

Can someone help me with the signature thing? I follow the instructions but when I press save it says Invalid raw signature. Check HTML tags.What am I doing wrong? Please give me an easier guide for signatures? --Mimo 14:15, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Ask someone with a funky sig on their talk page someone like: Zana Dark make sure you give anyone you ask a link to your sig page. --Chiefjustice3DS 14:49, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Signature

I don't know how to operate the signature thing on the preferences either. Have never used it although some people have tried to explain it. I see you're voting on VFHighlights, very nice! That's where the cool kids hang out (and on VFD). Have you read, I'll pick two pages at random, ah, let's see, ah, Cemetery of the Absurd, and, closing my eyes and picking one, ah, My Daddy Has Two Yachts (the last item on the page). Now, if you read those pages, and enjoy them, a vote would give them hope in the future. That is the value of VFH, it's fun and, to be serious, puts some really good articles up to share with the public. (a hint on both Cemetery and Yachts, click on the long links!). Thanks. My sig. . .Aleister 00:18 26 10

Consider it done. I have already read Cemetery of the Absurd and I like it. I will take a look at Daddy's Yachts too. I also have my new signature. If you want some help about making your own visit Zana Dark's talk page. Now, enjoy my new signature. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 09:05, October 26, 2010 (UTC)M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls?

Thanks for the vote on Cemetery (hopefully it may get the votes by Halloween!), and for the future read of My Daddy Has Two Yacht's. And Zana actually was nice enough to make me a sig when I first got here, one I don't often use but is really cool. Here it is, and thanks again. ~ 10:52 26 10

Thanks for the additional photo (which I moved--it was jamming up against the intro photo--and recaptioned). It is customary at this point to flip your vote to Keep so our work won't be in vain. SpıkeѦ14:09 27-Oct-10

Nice work you guys. LeBron James will miss his next jump shot after he reads his page (although there is the question of his literacy to consider). I've read the main reason he and his buddies chose Miami is that there is no state income tax in Florida. That's leading with your wallet. Mr. James. Aleister James 23:04 27 10

You may have read that elsewhere, but you certainly read it in UnNews (the story linked to by the graphic on VFD). New York State, at his salary, would have taken $1.5 million a year if he had gone to the Knicks. (They will still get a piece, as I think the states work together and I know they pro-rate income taxes by the number of games actually played in the state.) SpıkeѦ23:23 27-Oct-10

Mimo, a second photo with a weird facial expression may be overkill. However, I saw that Wikipedia has a section on "His tattoos" and I want to try to fit this into that. Meanwhile, the syntax is screwed up. The [Image:...] syntax should be on a line by itself, at the start of a paragraph. SpıkeѦ12:12 29-Oct-10

Alright, alright. Do what ever you want. Every picture that I have put in Uncy it has been changed so... --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 12:16, October 29, 2010 (UTC)

I gave it its own section. Don't expect any contribution to get out unscathed; this is, after all, a wiki. SpıkeѦ12:23 29-Oct-10

In fact, it's a risk whenever participating in a rescue from VFD that other rescuers still have their fingers in the pie. Nevertheless, you seem to know your way around searching the File: namespace more than I do, and I appreciate your contributions. SpıkeѦ15:22 29-Oct-10

Thanks for Cemetery doings!

Whoops, read above. Thanks for the gif on Cemetery! I changed it too, to the obvious hidden lik in the section, where it jumps out. As it was sitting on the page I thought it's flashing distracted from the two things there as well as the footnotes, but that's just a personal thing. Now, when it jumps out, it creates the party! May be purrrrffffect with your placing it there and now it jumping out just right. Nice!!!! Aleister, and Happy Halloween weekend! 14:55 29 10

NotM

Congratulations, it looks like you won the Noob of the Month award, or at least you already have a write-up about you on the main page (near the bottom). Yay! Well deserved and well played. Woo woo! Aleister 00:21 1 11

Thanks. My first award in Uncy!!! Now, It's time for me to join the celebrations. Yay, woohoo, super, awesome, Hey hey...oh crap.(gets back to the real world.)---M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 13:17, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

Sincere thanks

Voting on VFD

It looks as though, instead of creating a copy of a template and filling it in, you planted your nomination of Captain D in the middle of Hyperbole's nomination of Professor Layton. He has reverted you. Follow the rules and all will be well; the way you type in a vote is not the way it looks after you press Save page because the templates transform your vote. SpıkeѦ16:59 1-Nov-10

Don't mind SPIKE, he has a heart of lead but a pen of gold. He's rough around the edges and deep down too. He's a man who will stab you in the back for looking at him sideways, and then stab you in the front as you're falling from the wound. A fine fella, well met! Aleister 17:01 2 11

Award from UN:REQ

Concerning VFD

Everytime you nominate a page for VFD, you need to plant the Template:VFD on the page that is under fire. I've saved you on the page you recently nominated, but negligence to place the tag on the page in question may invalidate the vote and result in the page staying on Uncyclopedia for a longer time. It's in the VFD rules. Try to read them. --Wilytank can be a pain in the ass. 20:03, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

I have make the same mistake again and again... I'm sorry. I know about this rule but I always forget it. I won't nominate anything else because I always screw it up. I will ask other users to do it for me. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 08:23, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

Don't mind SPIKE, he has his stern way about talking to people. He means entirely well, you just have to ignore some of the words. Please don't stop nomming pages for destruction VFD style, you are good at it, in fact maybe you should get right back on the horse and nom one right now. Nom one of SPIKE's (hah ha ha ha hee hee heee), or another one from somewhere. Peaces out. Aleister 11:50 17 11

p.s. And look at the note on top of SPIKE's user page, it explains why he is like he is, aside from childhood trauma.

Yes but he will create childhood trauma to me too. Also, you're right. I won't stop now. And I will try to learn from my mistakes. BEWARE BAD ARTICLES CAUSE M&M ISBACK --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 12:13, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

VFD formatting

Peace! I didn't say you suck; I just said that you need to follow the rules when nominating on VFD, or at least think twice when you see your nomination starts life with an age of minus 40 hours. I would not have commented at all, except that Wilytank complained; and you can see that I paired my criticism of you with a compliment.

The long line of tildes in the template at the top of the section gets converted to the current date when a nomination gets filed; you must have copied an existing vote box and tweaked the date and time. VFD, as it concerns the deletion of other people's work, is as rules-bound as Uncyclopedia gets; the clock on nominations was just added a couple months ago, following a long debate in the Forum about articles getting deleted before anyone notices that led to the 24-hour minimum before deletion. Your typo gave your nomination a couple extra days, which could have been controversial. At the extreme, Romartus got banned once for sloppiness (perhaps a joke ban; and not by me). SpıkeѦ14:35 17-Nov-10

Tony Jaa wants to show you his appreciation

Much thanks for making Tony a feature. Cheers!--Funnybony05:48, Nov 21

Thanks!

I see nobody thanked you, including me who thought he had, for the addition of the baby picture on Mike Tyson! It was perfect. It got moved, and the caption changed, but it's the spitting image of what a crazy Mike Tyson would look like as a child. I credit you on its nom page on VFH, although this by no means is an attempt to get your vote (seriously). You were a big help, and the page is better for you contribution. (If Lyrt comes around, don't read this, it is not written to you and private corrsepondence as a sacred right of all wiki users) Enjoyz Aleister 16:35 23 11

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created.

Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour.

For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!?

The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you.

The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions.

This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each.

Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month.

Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so thankfully we cannot bring you anything else from him this week.

There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW!Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment.

13:58, November 21, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.112.195.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Enough time for you to go and have a bit pot of warm penises, just like you love them)

15:52, November 19, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.126.123.197 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck at vandalism. You should probably try your hand at cooking or painting or something instead.)

14:40, November 18, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.120.230.138 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (I dunno - you expose a paedo, then it's you who gets in toruble. Fuckin' liberals, eh?)

Biopic of the Week

Prowling the corridors of UnNews and VFD, SPIKE has earned the respect of his peers through a combination of three things: Hard work, immaculate record keeping and... hard work.

SPIKE is often to be found speaking into a microphone for UnNews, saving condemned articles on VFD and generally trying to make the site a better place.

While he may not have as many features as some people, he makes up for it through a huge amount of work; his userpage is a comprehensive list of achievements, good deeds and a lot of other information that you probably don't need but he is prepared to give at no extra charge. I need all of it, of course, as I am building a database which I plan to flog to a corporation at some stage. If you contributed anything to UnNews or nominated an article for VFD this year then this man likely got involved at some stage. Respect him and get back to work.

Old-school featured article of the week

Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course,

we all are!

"But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask.

As you know, we at the UnSignpost make few mistakes, but it has been brought to our attention that we misquoted Mordillo and made him look like a bit of a weirdo in the story to the left; this is highly regrettable and we enclose his full quote here by way of apology.

"the ongoing voting trend that is directed at obvious targets such as WotM and UotM are a cardinal warning sign that Uncyclopedia is not only the worst, it keeps deteriorating. How else would you define a community that is centered on awarding its writers and goody two shoes? What about young new fresh people that are hopefully insatiable redheads with abnormal fondness of threesomes with Jews and MORE blondes? What about the people who take the substandard manure that the above said writers produce and fit them into shape?! Are we all doomed to be old shapeless writers? Will Uncyclopedia become like Europe - ageing, overweight and smug? Where are all the young willing blondes amongst the population?!"

Editors note: Mordillo then went on to say the bit our journalist was awake for in the interview. The UnSignpost bitterly regrets having him sedated against his will due to this misunderstanding. We will be sending a fruit basket round to him as soon as his screams of anguish as the doctor inserted the needle stop being quite so funny.

Please read the whole box--I asked Magic Man to withdraw his nomination, as there was a better version in the history, before the vandals got to it--and he withdrew it (with strikethrough). SpıkeѦ00:11 27-Nov-10

Whichever one(s) I meant, of course... what, you really expect me to keep track of these things? I've got an IQ of about 80 - doesn't that say something about how well I should... wait... I just confused myself. What were we saying? ~*shifty eyes*(talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 07:31 (UTC)

I might be slightly... er... words. I dunno. My brain's not working. Dammit, and I was supposed to be banned today... I bet today would have been a nice day if I'd stayed banned... I'm such an idiot. ~*shifty eyes*(talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 08:26 (UTC)

You mean that day? Today? Then you are right. You should be banned for today. Just because yesterday you almost burn my brain you deserve to be banned. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 08:32, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Well, you know what? I don't care about my burnt brain because if you were banned I wouldn't spend two minutes talking to you and you wouldn't know what a slogan is(actually you still don't know). Try to see the bright side of life. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 08:40, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Poem

And Lyrithya should be banned, for not voting for, as you did, Frighten small children. Thanks! And you haven't gone back and checked my talk page, where I did write the poem you requested, and had fun doing it. Thanks for the request. Now maybe we should try to get L banned and then laugh from the other side of the screen. I know I would! And while Lyrith was banned I'd go and enlarge all the pics on hers pages and laugh some more. Aleister 13:27 29 11

Yeah, that was going to be fun. But I haven't seen Lyrithya for some hours and I have start thinking she has already been banned. Your poem was awesome. How did you know alll these things about my life? --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 13:35, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Good riddance is she is banned. The gods smile on us this day. Thanks, and Uncy has dossiers on all its users that can be accessed once you are a member of the hall of shame or know the right person, either or. So I'll go enlarge all the pics on her pages. Hah hah hardy haw haw. But then I'd get banned, and not be able to fly south with the other geese. Aleister 13:39 29 11

Hey I've got an idea! Why don't we create some sockpuppets and then go and enlarge Lyrithya's images? --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 15:50, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Was there someone here? Maybe you left the window open. I just thought when I was writing comments on that car nom, do you mind me calling you M&M? I've just been typing that naturally, and haven't really given it much thought. Is it okay, or should I stop and flog? Aleister 14:12 30 11

Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?

Now that it is so far into the season that everyone not involved with the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League, as well as many that are involved, could not possibly care, what better time for an update? After eleven gruelling weeks, it seems that on top is the one and only Doritians, Take II, with an impressive W-L-T of 9-2-0 and a current six-game win-streak. They are also the only team to currently have a clinched playoff spot. For those not aware, the Doritians, Take II are the follow-up to Cheddar's Doritians last year: an Eagles-based team that performed, to put it frankly, shittily. When asked to comment about his surprising victory, Mr. Cheddar claimed, "GET RAPED SON."

Elsewhere in the league, there is currently a tight race for 2nd between the Oklahoma Boomers (who are currently in first point-wise and have the season record for highest score in a game with 168.14 points), The DC RacialSlurs, The Dudes, and Lepus Muerte. The real secondary story revolves around league commissioner and possible Nazi-supporter Rosenkrantzenpants. While last year, the German team took the overall victory with quite ease, this year's team is not so magnificent. After many losing streaks and strokes and bad luck, Rosenkrantzenpants has barely been able to pull itself past an even Win-Lose ratio. However, despite a poor record, he maintains 4th place point-wise.

The Well-Dressed Pickles again still have yet to win, most likely due to having six of the worst players in the league (two of which are out for the the season) and a refusal to edit the line-up. The Bearasorta Vikings aren't doing much better.

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rumbles on, and as the closing date looms like a fat man over a large cake, the question on everyone's lips is "What's the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball?". In case you have recently returned from an Uncyclopedia hiatus or have been hiking through the Amazon Delta wearing nothing but a pair of slippers, I will explain once again: the ATDB is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured.

The UnSignpost sat down with competition judge Lyrithya to find out what, if anything, there was to know. "I would like people to stop asking me for help," Lyrithya moaned before our journalist could open his mouth, "Two people have so far already" The UnSignpost infers from this that the competition is truly a desperate one this year; some entrants have clearly been pushed to the limits of their sanity and have begun searching Uncyclopedia's back alleys for writing tips. To round off our interview we asked Lyrithya who she thought would win. "That guy," she said emphatically, indicating a nearby vending machine, "His article is excellent." Whose article she really means shall remain a mystery until the results become known on December 10th.

The competition closes for judging this Friday at 00:00 GMT, so if you want to enter, you need to do so soon. The UnSignpost will be there to bring you the results when the judging has happened unless something more exciting happens. Unlikely, but we live in hope.

For almost a year, most of our classic usergroups remained in pieces. Groups like the Uncyclopedian Forces, the UnAnarchist Party, the UnFire Department, and yes, even the Grue Apocalypse. The economy also dramatically collapsed, with commerce reaching an all-time low. However, one group stands out among all: the Grue Army. After their leader High Gen. Grue went AWOL, the once-proud Grue Army was left belly-up with only 4 of the original members still in. The decision to revive the group was made and Meganew has been seen wearing Patton-esque General's clothing ever since.

Somenewerusers had joined up with the group already, but it wasn't enough to equal a full-scale revival. Therefore, the leaders decided on an unusual plan of action: pick who they thought would be the 10 best candidates for the group. After some of the candidates decided not to join, the plan was expanded to all of the twenty users originally selected. Some have responded and have become active Grue Army members, deep in-the-cave reserve members, and allies.

Some people have questioned the need for another group of people who don't do much, but are happy to tell others what to do, as we already have site admins for just such a job.

This has been a shameless advertising promotion from the Grue Army, Join Today!!!

07:42, November 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.35.10.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Such spirited hi-jinks and individuality.... I MUST DESTROY)

17:33, November 30, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.77.131.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here's yet another reason for you to hate Jews)

21:01, November 30, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Avianion (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (cyberbullying. also, coming from Halifax, which should have some kind of law against it.)

Biopic of the Week

It seems only proper that this week as we pass the 5th anniversary of its featuring, the UnSignpost should take a look at perhaps the biggest in-joke Uncyclopedia has ever seen: Euroipods. For those who don't know, Euroipods was intended to parody the marketing campaign for www.euroipods.com, which ran from mid to late 2005. However, despite the effort, detail and effort that went into creating the article, some users couldn't understand what all the laughter was about. Stories of the clashes on the talk page of Euroipods are still told whenever veteran Uncyclopedians gather round a modem to compete in tales of blood-chilling terror. The article spawned severalspin-offarticles, since creativity is next to regular bathing on the list of things Uncyclopedians will avoid if at all possible.

Firefox's goal is to reclaim a vital artifact lost for humanity a hundred generations ago in Browser Wars: the Interweb, a huge web embedded in the surface and atmosphere of the planet Earth. Her arch enemy is the Interweb Exploder, a giant monster that repeatedly tries to blow up the Interweb, without much success, and zombifies people that connect their computers to it. Both Firefox and the Exploder are web browsers: their duty is to patrol controlled areas of the Interweb and fight minor saboteurs and wreckers.

<span> - html tag. You used them in your signature to make the expanding sig effect. They should always be closed with a </span> at the end of whatever you are applying to the effect to. Although if you dunno what the things are, why were you using them?

And I edited your signature because it was breaking every page it was on. Otherwise I probably would not have, since signatures are pretty personal things. ~*shifty eyes*(talk) • (stalk) -- 20101204 - 17:18 (UTC)

Hi there, M&M

I just want to congratulate you on being such a nice and useful user. I notice your English has improved as well. There's also this very minor thing I wanted to tell you about. When you add an article to QVFD, ever noticed how other people put a : in front of the title, inside the link? Well, it's because they're using a special feature that always does that. The reason it does that is because without that :, images and categories wouldn't appear as links but as images and categories. Also, the thing is, this special feature checks if pages have already been added, but it only checks the links with a : at the start. So, that's basically why you best put that : at the start of the link. Also, this special feature I'm talking about should be available in your preferences, though it might not work on all browsers. Just thought you should know. Cheers! —SirSocky(talk)(stalk)GUNSotMUotMPMotMUotYPotMWotM13:39, 5 December 2010

I'm sorry. I put it once and I didn't see any difference so I kept putting the article in QVFD without the :. Anyway thanks for the information. I will try to correct my mistakes. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 13:53, December 5, 2010 (UTC)

Wait a minute... First: Can you explain with simpler words how can I get credits and from where and second: What's a Yoinxx and where can I find one. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 12:28, December 8, 2010 (UTC)

You get credits monthly from the Grue Army fund. Where do they come from? Well nobody knows. As for the Yoinxx, it's the standard currency of Uncyclopedia. 4 credits equal 1 Yoinxx in today's exchange. You can find them anywhere, especially under your couch cushions. High Gen.Meganew(Stuff I've Done)(Chat With Me)(Get an Award!)ENLISTMUN 15:23, December 8, 2010 (UTC)

VFD

Hey, not written to you before so hi:) You put Crazy Train up for VFD when it should have gone on QVFD - not a big deal, but archiving VFD is altogether more scary and it is preferable if only stuff that should be there, is there or something along those lines. Only add to VFD if you are sure about it... or you could write an article instead. Hope to see you about:-)--Sycamore(Talk) 18:06, December 8, 2010 (UTC)

The UnSignpost, now with 25% less saturated fat

If you have ever written an article on Uncyclopedia then the chances are you have run the gauntlet of Votes for Highlight at some point, which inevitably means you have experienced the helpful criticism, the less helpful criticism and the downright bizarre criticism. VFH is the most popular voting page on Uncyclopedia, and this week the UnSignpost is taking a closer look at the process that separates the wheat from the chaff, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian[citation needed].

VFH has come under fire this week from an outgoing editor and we thought it would be unfair to dismiss his claims without properly investigating them, so we didn't and it was a great fun; we played badminton and then we went bowling. However, when Sycamorecomplained about recent trends on VFH, we decided to have a look. There is a serious point to be made here, with admins being told at least twice a week that both they and Uncyclopedia suck penises - is VFH not somewhere that should be more carefully regulated to prevent articles that are less than amusing being nominated? Or should users who are presently engaged in nominating idiotic pages for VFH be told to cut it out, or else? Discussions have taken place about scrapping voting altogether and having the admins run things or, as one bright-spark suggested: just get rid of against voting. VFH is not a machine in dire need of repair, however, but for many it does seem to be a flawed system that is entirely to blame for A wizard did it being featured.

As a result of the above, the UnSignpost urges you to do two things: Vote on VFH; it needs your votes to work, as the name might suggest, and try to remember that while cocking about is fun, work is immeasurably more useful. Also, because the lead story this week has been very sombre and serious, we have attached a picture of a dog wearing a hat. Enjoy.

Hey guys!!! This week I thought I would talk about something which is guaranteed to interest EVERYONE! My favourite food in the world: Mince Pies!!! OMG they are teh brillz0rz! (Internet slang; I'm hip!) I mean they don't even have MINCE in them! What's UP WITH THAT!? Here's how I began to find them totally lolicious and awesome!!!! It all started at last year's Christmas pa-

Signal interrupted

New message incoming

There is no need to adjust your UnSignpost. Halt all subversive activity. Exits are not located to the rear. Rollback is not disabled. Expect no Christmas bonus. The Cabal is not addressing you from this periodical. It is not the Festive Season. Santa does not exist. Nothing you do matters. Our patience is not tried by your petty drama and hi-jinks. Contributions are not logged and examined.Addresses are not tracked and houses are not watched. Bans will not be imposed if you reject our reality.

Imagine, if you will, a drug fuelled after-party in a Special Needs home, then stop because it's time for biopic of the week! This week we have a splendid fellow, as we inevitably do; it's Count of Monkey Crisco! Heard of him? No? That's because he is busy working and not spending time coming up with new and inventive ways of wasting time in the Village Dump, like you. It may surprise you to learn that the Count (yes I must refer to him this way) is a former UotM, has four featured images and was the first man to scale Everest in a kayak... ok, we are exaggerating here; he only has two featured images.

Nonetheless this man is the example of a good Uncyclopedian, hard working, quiet and modest. At least we assume he is modest; he hasn't ever done anything as awesome as I have, so we can't confirm it. So go on - investigate Uncyclopedia's very own man in black for yourself; he's er... Monkalicious.

Old-school featured article of the week

To Whom it May Concern

On the 6th September 2006, I wrote this article, and I am yet to receive any feedback. I believe I expressed a number of real concerns which you have not yet addressed. In case my previous article was lost in the post, I will repeat my concerns here, and I trust that this article will reach you in good time.

Instead of doing something productive...

I have come to demonstrate what a terrible mistake you made voting for me for UotM last month. Really, I do not understand what you possibly could have been thinking, but what is done is done, and now I suppose I should be gracious and attempt to thank you, or something. As I do not know how to be gracious, however, I will instead give you a carefully chosen line of Madness, for you to keep as your very own:

The greatest mistake in life is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.

Merrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy Christmas

A few days early! Thanks for voting for "Never on Sunday", which is resting on the front page right now because of your vote (literally, it needed all 10). Verryyyyyyy (rhymes with merrrrrrryyyyyyy) appreciated. Not much new going on, I'm just gliding around pages and tucking in a few tweeks here and there. Whatsyabeendoin'? And have you joined in hunting the elusive Gomphog? Aleister 12:38 10 12

Hunt of the elusive Gomphog? Where should I apply for that?Did you ask what am I doing?...hmmm...hard question...nothing. I wanted to work on souvlaki but I'm too lazy to do something like this right now. Also MERRY CHRISTMAS to you too. --M&M(also known as Mimo&maxus)What do you want?Wanna see my balls? 12:49, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oh shit! It's another unsignpost!

As all great things must come to an end so must all fairly mediocre things, and this has certainly proved true for the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, which concluded last Thursday/Friday/Early Saturday morning. Unfortunately, all of our reporters were out watching Lord of the Dance or entertaining Monsignor Sandman when it was happening and we have no on the spot coverage or reporting whatsoever. However, we have once again stepped unto the breach in the name of journalism and have, at great personal risk, recovered the results from the competition page.

Of course everyone who took part in the competition is a winner... except the people who didn't win anything. The UnSignpost dropped round to Socky'shouse to find out how he felt about being the biggest Turkey of them all this year: "I'm really proud of winning twice" he told our reporter, banging his head on the toughened glass. "I'd like to throw a big party, but first I'll need to get rid of all the dead bodies...", which was a lovely thought. He also presented our reporter with this picture which, his doctor assured us, Socky had drawn himself.

The non-existent Cabal would like to pass on its non-existent thanks to all entrants and judges of the competition and would like to make special mention of Mrthejazz, who narrowly missed out on victory in two categories; hopefully the suicide note, sleeping-pills and empty Whiskey bottles we found when we went round to his house mean he has just gone on holiday.

The Uncyclopedia game namespace came under fire this week as users began discussing whether the whole thing should be euthanized as part of Uncyclopedia's commitment to cutting internet congestion by 60% before the start of 2011. In order to get a handle on matters, the UnSignpost lured veteran Uncyclopedian Mhaille into an interview by convincing him there was cake hidden in our journalist's back pocket.

Mhaille called the game namespace "A SHOCKING waste of server space and a section of the site seemingly inhabited by elves, dwarves, grues and Welshpeople". Is this a fair assessment of a namespace that has been around since 2006 or is this just the condemnation of a Bureaucrat engorged with spite at his continued lack of a salary? When asked if he would support deleting the namespace altogether, Mhaille said, "It should at least be hacked back to acceptable levels and filled with humour above that of a 14 year old D&D player".

The debate on the game namespace is far from over, especially since a fair number of users haven't even realised it has started yet. Should we delete the namespace, or should we allow it to grow in whichever way the laws of nature allow? However with the game namespace regularly churning out classics like Grue Life and The Great Random Adventure of Awesomeness, it is clear to many that something should be done, even if it is only a jolly good chat in the Village Dump.

10:13, December 14, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Hellraiser123 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Dr UU's diagnosis: you appear to be suffering from being a twat syndrome. the cure for this is to ask someone to punch you in the face repeatedly, go try it, let me know how you get on.)

Biopic of the Week
This week we have selected someone we seem to have written about far too much in the last month or so: Funnybony. For those who don't know, Funnybony has penned more articles than you could possibly count, unless you can count up to 295.

However, we have decided to try and talk about something else besides the massive number of articles he has written (several of which became featured). We also won't be mentioning his ability at potatochopping or his victory in Playwright of the Month in October, nor will we mention his general lack of anger and his fondness for sending people pictures instead of words. In fact this biopic will have very little to do with Funnybony at all; the UnSignpost apologises for this and promises that Biopic of the Week will return next week as normal. So everyone: be impressed with Funnybony, despite the fact you know almost nothing about him.

The subject of this article is such an ass hole that he won’t even thank you. He told me to do it. Hey, fuck him! But, thank you!--Funnybony16:28, Dec 18

Thank you too!!!!

Thanks very much for your kind votes of "Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes!" on the Fadda Murphy page and the almost full page. I've been watching you play amongst the fields of plenty here, a nice site and I'm glad you're here! Aleister 9:49 19 12

I can't understand. For which one of my votes did you thank me? --M&M(christmas mood) 10:04, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Any and all of them! But specifically on The Threat of Festivus and Uncyclopedia is almost full. Fadda Murphy is the subject of the Festivus page, that's the second of a trilogy (he appeared in Mortal Sin as well), and will be elected Pope when Benedict goes to heaven. I really like the "almost full" page, and it would be nice if it were "featured" while Rupert Murdoch is still here and hasn't gone to hell as yet. Aleister 10:12 19 12

Merry Christmas from Magic man!

You gave me a Christmas template, so I felt obligated to give you one.

Το ξέρετε πως μπορώ να σας βρίζω χωρίς να το καταλαβαίνετε?

I'll help. So where do you need help? --MagicSnowman☃ 15:26, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

Everywhere! I don't know why but I'm crazy about this article.(maybe because It's the only one that hasn't been deleted)(Wait a minute, I just found out why I'm crazy about it) It's not big enough. --M&M(christmas mood) 15:38, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, I'll see what I can do. --MagicSnowman☃ 15:49, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.

So here we are, issue number 100. The newspaper with the most haphazard group of editors and paper... people in the world has successfully spammed talk pages 100 times. This makes now the perfect time to look back at the UnSignpost through the ages and see the motley crew of visionaries, drug addicts and lunatics who have made the UnSignpost what it is today: damaged beyond all repair.

The UnSignpost had a beginning, like everything: it was in days of yore when Uncyclopedians fiddled in the street.... in knickerbockers, Mordillo was a new-ish administrator and everything had a rosy sort of tint to it; Uncyclopedia was indeed not as bad as it is today. Two enterprising young Uncyclopedians, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper, came up with the idea for a newspaper, a newspaper that would tell lazy people what was going on on the wiki, thus encouraging them to continue being lazy. At first, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper made beautiful musiclove UnSignposts together and even considered making the UnSignpost a twice weekly paper... yeah.

However such a partnership could not last forever, as nothing does except jam, and eventually Dr. Skullthumper departed the UnSignpost. Last time someone asked him about the UnSignpost, he said, among other things: "We had no idea what we were doing" which reassures us that nothing has changed in the interim.
Cajek pushed the UnSignpost onward and it was good, until it wasn't any more, at which point DJ Irreverent took the wheel. Nobody has seen Cajek for years now, so being rational people, we can only assume he is sailing round the world in a boat powered entirely by Mars Bars, though we can tell you that he once said "You know, those shoes you see on telephone wires?" which should give you some food for thought.

However the DJ was unable to maintain the UnSignpost for long, and he was obliged to leave; after all, in accepting the responsibility, he opened up a can of worms. Then how could he let sleeping dogs lie after he let the cat out of the bag? After all, if you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without a paddle. Which explains why he left; the balloon went up.

After the DJ went belly-up (yes I'll stop this now) Under user decided to have a go... he strapped on his pads and hit the UnSignpost for six (OK, I'm definitely done now) - six issues, to be exact, and then wandered off to get married or some such nonsense, leaving the UnSignpost in the hands of Gerrycheevers. Gerry maintained the paper splendidly until UU came back again and enlisted the help of some more hip and happening users to help him actually know things. UU remained in the editors seat, mostly, and writers like Socky, POTR and Guildensternenstein dropped in to help now and then when UU's creativity failed him. We can't list everyone who turned up as we hate most of them, but they are lovingly remembered on the main UnSignpost page.

Finally the stress became too much for UU, and he fled the office via an upstairs window. When he woke from his coma, we showed him the UnSignpost and threatened to beat him with a stick if he didn't give us a quote on how excellent it was. He said, "Boringly, I love the ol' Signpost, and will probably return to it one day ... But I have written the most issues, across 3 separate stints on the paper, and sheer quantity has to count for something, right? Anyway, I'm glad to see Chief continuing all the proud traditions except late delivery, and am idly wondering how long it'll take before he too crumbles like a dry reed in the face of its relentless news-hunger".

So hurrah for the UnSignpost, 100 issues to match up with the hundreds of writers with issues who have contributed to it. See you in issue 200!

Hang on. Did I read that last bit correctly? 100 issues? Wow! Given that it takes our beloved paper boys about 2 hours to deliver the Unsignpost, that means that's 200 hours spent delivering this, not to mention the time and effort put into making this unperiodic periodical over the last 2ish years. So that would mean it's a combined total of multiply by 2... carry the 1... take away the number you first thought of... 2 months worth of work that has gone into the creation of this glorious publication.

And it's that attention to detial that makes the UnSignpost what it is.

15:45, September 14, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.246.126.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanker: Go blank yourself! Hah! Do you see what I did there? I'm a font of wit.)

19:45, August 11, 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.)

Biopic of the Week
Rather than come up with another user to biopic, the UnSignpost has decided to biopic itself once again, making it the first... thing to have been biopiced twice! (Except {{USERNAME}}, but that doesn't count, don't ask why, it just doesn't)

We here at the UnSignpost were absolutely flabbergasted when the news became known and an editor exclaimed "My gast is truly flabbered". We would like to thank the academy, you the readers, us the writers, the people who put the fillings into Mince Pies and the person who invented the Jelly Baby.

However, The UnSignpost rarely votes on VFD, never contributes to the site except to spam talk pages and generally has been writing essentially the same thing for almost 3 years, which is exactly what it should be doing. If you regularly read the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time and stop being so limber and stress free; if you regularly write for the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time. Well done, UnSignpost, and may you persist in all the poor practices that have made you what you are today.

It's all go over on Under user's page as the festive mince pie race gets into full swing. UU himself has consumed 39 festive treats at the time of going to press, lagging behind Roman Dog Bird who has guzzled a whopping 52 mince pies at the time of going to press. Meanwhile, ChiefjusticeDS has only managed 25 and is just happy to be involved in something that involves other people for once.

If you really wanted to destroy my talk page you should ask for an admin to ban me and then come to destroy my talk page because I won't be able to undo what you did. --~ 11:35, December 26, 2010 (UTC)

Wrong kind of destruction, love. It's the gerbilly sort or nothing, I'm afraid; I've no desire to actually vandalise it. I mean, it's a talk page. If the talkery can't make a mess of it, what can? 1234~22:53, 26 December 2010

I don't know what you said but you're probably right. --~ 08:18, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Something

Why is my name Insert Username??? i dont wan to keep editing it Redknight

I can't understand what you said but "username" is a trick that shows you, your user's name. It happens to everyone. I mean, when you see "Redknight" at the same place, I see "Mimo&maxus" --M&M(christmas mood) 13:25, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

lol. Christmas pwned. User name is a code that puts anyone's user name into the space, when I look at it it says Fucktard though. But you don't have to change it. Or maybe you're talking about not having a signature yet. Oh. Never mind. Aleister CHRISTMAS MMX

I was going to tell him again now, but forgot the answer. Thanks for your vote for goat! I hope you liked it (your comment was "hmmmmmm", hopefully an expression of ecstasy! Yay!) and will share it with your friends, family, and neighbors (except that grouchy guy who's on the sauce morning, noon, and night). Thanks again!!!! Aleister 20:52 26 12

Something else

Hello! I left you a note on the Mike Tyson talk page. Aleister 13:00 29 12

I saw it... but that's not enough... I'm sad *lies to get a cake from Aleister and then shoots himself because whatever he said doesn't make sense* --M&M(christmas mood) 19:35, December 29, 2010 (UTC)

Cake delivered. I like the pic too. Maybe if you ask Funnybony too, and offer him a piece of your cake, he may let the baby pic stay. He's a mean one though, like a grinch except with fangs and horrible eyes which see into your soul. So be careful. Aleister 19:41 29 12

UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...

As Christmas fades into the deep darkness of memory and the New Year hurtles towards us so quickly that experts have predicted it will reach us within a few days, thoughts inevitably turn to the Yearly awards. Well, the thoughts of we here at the UnSignpost do; if yours don't, then you aren't committed to this site enough. The yearly awards are: Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Potatochopper of the Year. These highly imaginative awards are hotly contested affairs with up to 3 Uncyclopedians being nominated for each! While voting will not be open until early January you can already begin to think about who you want to nominate. The voting will be open until the end of January, hopefully, maybe, if we remember/are nominated.

So prepare for the excitement, bribery and boredom fun. Vote, vote and vote. In all seriousness, there are some reallydeservingusers around here and if you can't think of anything, then you need to get involved. Now to balance that out: Bing boing whoopsie knickers.

Those of you who frequently watch the village dump may have spied, nestled amongst imaginative topics like "I r haz a solushan 4 all teh speeling prooblams on Uncylopedia!!" and "MY PENIS IS BENSON", the topic about the Poo Lit Surprise competition. As the forum topic suggests, the competition is expected to start in January on the 18th. The PLS is arguably the biggest writing competition in Uncyclopedia and judges are still needed to help out, just check out the forum topic if this is something you want to do.

The controversial, drama causing, admin harassing problem associated with the PLS last time was the issue of a cash prize for the winner, and clashes over various entries to the competition and the related financial consequences caused problems for the competition and contributed towards Mordillo's 200th mental breakdown of the year. This year crafty ScotSycamore, who has been coerced into hosting the PLS, has decreed that the winner may nominate a charity to which an unconfirmed sum will be sent on victory. Any further winnings may be withdrawn from your bank account with your credit card and redeemed at most shops.

The competition starts on January 18th and we are lead to believe will close 14 days later, however we cannot confirm this for reasons that we are unable to confirm at time of writing and going to press. It's that simple.

16:41, December 26, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.10.118.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (What's that under the tree? Why - it's a gift you overlooked! Whatever could it be? Well, how about that - it's a ban!)

21:08, December 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.4.116.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Sets off my arsehole detector. Don't ask why I have one.)

10:28, December 25, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 143 seconds ‎ (Merry thing you don't celebrate old chap! Hope the presents you didn't get would have been fantastic!)

22:15, December 24, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.2.208.36 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Did I just accidentally start a gang war between myself and some kids from Scotland? Cool beans.)

18:20, December 28, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.32.12.212 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Simon IS a naughty boy but it's not for you to tell)

Biopic of the Week

Bananas, bats and beach balls, what do these things have in common? The answer of course is Lyrithya, who, let’s face it, is just plain weird. Obsessed with everything from masturbation to mastication and from coding to cunnilingus... OK I made some of that up, but the thing about Lyrithya is that you don't know what I made up and what is the whole gruesome truth.

That aside, Lyrithya seems to successfully spend more than 24 hours on Uncyclopedia every day and seems to be attracting the attention of the majority of the user base, like a lone woman in a room full of sexually frustrated quasi-rapists, which she is. But why not go and say hello if you haven't already? The response will baffle you, but that's half the appeal.... isn't it?

Roberto Durán ofrecer su agradecimiento

"Of the Year" tip

Hey there, just pointing out that you should probably familiarise yourself with the nominee's contributions before voting for them in the "of the year" awards. I only say this because you seem uncertain in your comments, and have already changed one of your votes at this early stage. This isn't a game you know, it's deadly serious. --BlackFlamingo 10:25, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ugh! Alright I won't vote again. Not at any "of the year" nomination, not even at "noob of the month","writer of the month" etc. Enough is enough. I quit. --M&M(christmas mood) 10:30, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, since you're quitting I'll have to go and remove all your past votes, and adjust the archived results accordingly. Changing history is fun. Be seeing you. --BlackFlamingo 10:34, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Off-site; as in "not on the site" - so votes you've made in real life for instance, or on other sites. It's probably just a lame joke on my part, I'm crap like that. --BlackFlamingo 11:26, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Oh come on, don't worry. You're not so bad, you're just err... ... not good enough. How do you know who Papoulias is? He is the president of Greece. --M&M(christmas mood) 11:32, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of all world leaders... I call it Google. --BlackFlamingo 11:38, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ohhh! It must be awesome! Where can I buy one? --M&M(christmas mood) 11:40, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Your vote on WotY was fine, and should be repeated several more times with the same result. And I restored all of your votes, because Black Flamingoes action put the Greek government on the verge of collapse again. Thanks for your confidence in me among a group of excellent writers. Aleister 12:14 2 1 '11

Thanks for the VFH nom

I'm glad you liked the Go into the light page, and thank you for nomming it. It's a page that includes an orgy, so I like it too! The dancing cow above is gross and interesting at the same time. Thanks again! Aleister 12:17 2 1 '11

How can you talk about an orgy and a cow at the same time? --M&M(christmas mood) 15:52, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

This vandal goes back a long time. The talk page discusses his perennial desire to install a diagram that amuses no one else. However, as he has identified his current location to the Chief Justice--by way of ridiculing the log message accompanying the ban of him yesterday--I am going to just stand back and let the right thing happen. SpıkeѦ17:06 4-Jan-11

Mister M&M

Even though your sig has been created by Master Hyperbole, it still breaks the length rule of 55 characters. Can you shorten it? Thanks. ~ 12:17, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

How about that? --Mimo&maxusi am a cuntHyperbole created this sigBevanz provided the images 12:43, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Still a bit long -

Mimo&maxusi am a cuntHyperbole created this sigBevanz provided the images

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

~ 13:08, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

I can't make it smaller. Alright, alright, I'll try to. --Mimo&maxusi am a cuntHyperbole created this sigBevanz provided the images 13:09, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

What about now? --Mimo&maxusi am a cuntHyperbole created this sigBevanz provided the images 13:13, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery!

So it would seem, considering Uncyclopedia has successfully staggered its way into a new year (and its 6th birthday on Janurary 5), that everything is working as it should; this raises the question, why? Well, we at the UnSignpost love a challenge, so we have investigated the salt mines of Uncyclopedia to see the inmates users who are currently labouring in them to produce the site we all know and love[citation needed].

VFD is working splendidly and has recently held a minor games purge. If you missed out, shame on you. Watched over by Sycamore, it is edited continuously by a fewothers who have been hitting the random page button in search of crap to rewrite for months, if not years now. Over on UnNews, SPIKE is also labouring in the place of UnNews grandmaster, the right honourable Zim ulator. Meanwhile on pee review, Lyrithya and Black flamingo11 have been shouldering more responsibility than they know what to do with, reviewing and checking the infernal tables and generally filling the void left by somebody trying in vain to get a life. Now for a quick moment on the forums.... that's that over with. Recent changes is also empty because Socky has stopped categorising absolutely everything and everyone else is.... writing.

Romartus is still shattering hopes and dreams on VFH and we hope to be able to bring you this exact same piece of news next year. The admins are of course splitting their time between overseeing the whole process and abusing their powers for giggles. If you work like a dog for Uncyclopedia and you haven't been mentioned here, it's nothing personal; it's just you aren't good enough our journalists are easily distracted by loud noises and flashing lights, so perhaps you live too near a lighthouse.... or a level crossing.

It has not escaped the notice of the non-existent Cabal that Uncyclopedia has successfully survived another year, and the Cabal, of which there is none, orders all subjects to have a happy new year, or else. It would seem that you ignored our ruling of last year where we instructed you to comply at every opportunity and issued a decree banning drama. In 2010 we saw range blocks and epic ban sprees (to purge the ballot boxes and thus purify democracy), we witnessed mass deletions (necessary losses), we observed hundreds of forum topics declaring Wikia to be the worst (Wikia are to be obeyed despite this), we watched as you persecuted the weak, stubborn and female (to build the master race) and took note of your single success, that of closing the worst 100 reflections on 2010 before midnight on December 31st. This took you two years; it does not count.

So as 2010 fades into distant memory, we turn our eyes to 2011. We have the following advice: question nothing; you are meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend; remain indoors; do not attempt to remove the cameras from your dwelling they are for the protection of the community; drive safely; stay in school/work; shut the fuck up and go write an article; provide your bank details and PIN when asked.

09:56, January 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Famine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (by blocking Famine, do I end world hunger? No need to thank me, just bring me a pork pie.)

17:06, January 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (reverting admins and other experienced users for no good reason, also for annoying me on a tuesday, the worst day of the week to annoy me.)

23:05, January 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Stop that, on the path of the righteous edit warring is not, Swindon that way lies)

07:42, January 4, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.131.23.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (His habit of replacing words with "COCK," "JESUS" and "CHRIST" is so funny my hand slipped and accidentally hit the "BAN" button)

Biopic of the Week

This week, the UnSignpost has once again put off actually having to find out something about a user - going to their talk page, reading their articles; this is the same as work. Instead we have decided to biopic last year because that means we can make lots of generalisations and you all get to be included in the biopic, unless you joined in the last 6 days, in which case, where the fuck were you?

In 2010, all sorts of fun things happened. We appointed new administrators, we reviewed lots, then we didn't review at all, we all left because of drama in summer, then we all came back again, then the FBI phoned An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and all the administrators started drinking even more, except Zombiebaron who came back and we all welcomed him, what a splendid fellow. We fought in the street, we fought on talk pages and we fought in the village dump, then we went to Wikipedia and fought there, then the servers broke so we all came back here and fought with Wikia. Then we sulked.

Happy New Year!

Mince Pie of the year

UU ate more mince pies than anyone else over Christmas. Well done him, he wins at heart disease. We look forward to hearing of his premature death unloved and miserable thousands of miles from home.

Welcome Templates

Hey, I wanted to take this to your talk page, since I doubt Lythirya likes us cluttering up her talk page. I found Template:Welcome, which seems to be the one that I was thinking a lot of people use. I wouldn't mind having one that isn't so standard. If you agree, maybe we could collab on making a new one or something that is cooler. → I am greatSoup?23:22 6-Jan-11 ←

Almost everyone has their own welcome template. I have one. But if you want to make another [cooler] standard welcome template that sounds cool. Although, there may be no need for one... -- 23:52, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, okay. He had just been asking about welcoming people, and I mentioned that I usually type my welcomes up manually when I do welcome people, then I found that standard template... I doubt it is really necessary, but I kinda do want my own original one. → I am greatSoup?23:57 6-Jan-11 ←

Alright I made my welcome template here I will keep editing it until I get a nice result that won't look like the welcome template. You're free to edit my welcome template, whenever you want. --~ 08:55, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Cool, I was kinda thinking of trying to code up something cool looking, so maybe I'll work with that one and build off of it and we can share an awesome one. → I am greatSoup?18:17 7-Jan-11 ←

What you did is awesome but It has to be as big as the page. I'll try to work more at it. It's the best template I have ever seen. --~ 22:40, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Making it as wide as the page is easy... is that what you mean? Glad you like it, I think it looks cool, too → I am greatSoup?22:41 7-Jan-11 ←

I made it as wide as the page, assuming that's what you meant... I just had it as wide as the image cause I thought that looked cool. → I am greatSoup?22:43 7-Jan-11 ←

I don't know about this stuff but I think we should delete those [show] links and make smaller some of it's parts. What do you think? --~ 00:04, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I guess I liked it the way I had it cause it removes a lot of the bulk that makes it so big and wall-of-text-y. I did make a copy of it from before into my userspace, in case you wanted it to be different from what I wanted it to be, so feel free to change it as much as you want to. The links in that section that were hidden are just kinda generic info about Uncyc. If I were to take any of them out, I'd move the help link up to the top section. The Help page links to all the other links anyways, so I am kinda leaning towards it being the only one that isn't hidden. Lemme know what you think on the subject, though. → I am greatSoup?00:14 8-Jan-11 ←

You're right. It's better with the [show] things but I thought we were working together so we could make a better template. So, do you want to us to work at my template or yours? --~ 08:26, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

We are working together, I made the copy in my userspace just so it didn't look like I was stealing yours in the "New Page" description, but also so we could have something else to work with while developing it. I still wanna work with you on it, and I figured yours would be the one we'd work on and I'd just update the one in my space with the changes we make later on, then on here I kinda thought maybe if we wanted to go different ways with the style or wording, it would work out that we could do that if we both had copies... IDK, it isn't really necessary, I guess. At the time, I thought it was a good idea to have it in my userspace, too. (also, I haven't made any changes to mine, I think, so the one on your space is still the most updated one) → I am greatSoup?09:32 8-Jan-11 ←

Also, if you want to scale the "welcome" image, it will scale more... it is currently like half the size of the original image. → I am greatSoup?21:26 8-Jan-11 ←

Your wish granted

God's Answering Service now has an eastern Orthodox section. And I just realised that I know nothing about Eastern Orthodoxy, which ought to make me want to research it a bit. But I'm too lazy. --Sog1970 13:17, January 7, 2011 (UTC)