Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto the final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can; each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Kyrie O'Connor has the lead Peter. She has five points. Tom Bodett has two; Paula Poundstone, one.

SAGAL: All right.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Peter, I'd like to go first.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I think I can accommodate you, Paula. Since you are in third place, you'll go first.

SAGAL: You're in third place; you'll go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin you first question.

POUNDSTONE: He said it again.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fill in the blank.

POUNDSTONE: I'm in third place, aren't I, Peter?

SAGAL: You are, Paula.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There is no need to really just dwell on it. Let's just move on.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah, I am third.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Testifying on Capitol Hill on Thursday, Leon Panetta defended the military response to the attacks on the consulate in blank last year.

POUNDSTONE: Benghazi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: I'm in third.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, computer company blank announced it was taking a $24.4 billion buyout and going private.

POUNDSTONE: Dell.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Bill Clinton and Michael Bloomberg were among those who spoke at the funeral this week for former New York mayor blank.

POUNDSTONE: Koch.

SAGAL: Yes, Ed Koch.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Paramedics in New South Wales announced this week that they'd been called out this year to treat as many blanks as shark bites.

POUNDSTONE: As many people with those plastic soda holders around their neck.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: As many guinea pig bites as shark bites.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yes. Yes.

SAGAL: Last weekend at the Super Bowl halftime show, the other members of Destiny's Child joined superstar blank on stage.

POUNDSTONE: Beyonce.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Scottish Terrier Barney, the former first dog belonging to blank, died last week at age 84 in dog years.

POUNDSTONE: George Bush.

SAGAL: Exactly right, George W. Bush.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a restaurant in...

POUNDSTONE: Who is 340 in dog years.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm in third place, Peter; let's go.

SAGAL: Here we go.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just waiting for a moment to leap in. According to a restaurant in Japan blank could be the next hot food trend.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I do know this. House fly.

SAGAL: No, dirt.

POUNDSTONE: Yes, that's right.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: That puts you in fourth place, Peter.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The restaurant, which is called Ne Quittez Pas, has a new menu filled with dirt - salad with dirt dressing, oriental clams with a top layer of sediment, and for dessert, dirt ice cream. The dirt is made of volcanic ashes mixed with soil and plants. One problem for the restaurant, a lot of the patrons have been sending dishes back because the plates have specks of food on them.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do?

KASELL: Paula had five correct answers, Peter, for ten more points. She now has 11 points and has moved from third to first place.

SAGAL: There you go.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Tom, you are up next. Fill in the blank. After an earthquake struck offshore Wednesday, rescuers went to the aid of villages in the Solomon Islands that were hit by a blank

TOM BODETT: A tsunami.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As of Tuesday, the Royal Canadian Mint officially stopped making and distributing blank.

BODETT: Musk oxen.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, pennies. No more pennies in Canada. On Wednesday, the Boy Scouts of America delayed a vote on admitting blanks until May.

BODETT: Gays.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After extensive study, scientists have determined that just like cats, the insects known as aphids always blank.

BODETT: Land on their feet.

SAGAL: Aren't they clever?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Budweiser - yes - announced this week that fans had voted to name the baby blank, featured in its Super Bowl ad, Hope.

BODETT: Oh geez, was it the little horse...

SAGAL: Yeah, which is a kind of?

BODETT: Clydesdale.

SAGAL: Clydesdale, yes.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Punxsutawney Phil, Staten Island Chuck, Jimmy the Groundhog and other groundhogs across the nation predicted blank.

BODETT: That we were going to have six more weeks of winter.

SAGAL: No, an early spring this time.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A brawl broke out at a highly anticipated...

BODETT: No, wait, wouldn't that be early? I mean it's only six weeks from now.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

BODETT: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A brawl broke out at a highly anticipated strip show in Wales when a fabulous stripper named Fabio was replaced at the last minute with blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODETT: With Andrew Weiner.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With a stripper named Leon Zbudowski.

BODETT: I can see the problem.

SAGAL: The ladies came expecting to see Fabio, not that Fabio but an even more fabulously young handsome Fabio, when out walked 29-year-old Leon Zbudowskyi, wearing gray sweatpants and suspenders.

One attendee told the Daily Telegraph quote "He looked like he had come off the street, he was unshaven and he didn't have a six pack. In fact he looked like he had been hit in the face with a wok" unquote.

BODETT: I was close.

SAGAL: Instead of his dance routine, Leon stood there while the women heckled him and an enormous brawl broke out, all this before Leon could perform the famous "Full Zbudowski."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Weird fact: he was born Cody Steele, but when he became a stripper he changed his name to Leon Zbudowskyi.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How did Tom do on our quiz?

KASELL: Tom had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has ten points, but Paula still has the lead with 11.

SAGAL: There you are.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, so how many then does Kyrie need to win this and uphold the honor of Texas?

KASELL: Three to tie and four to win outright.

SAGAL: OK, Kyrie, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. In order to avoid the sequester coming up on March 1st, blank called for short term spending cuts and tax reform this week.

KYRIE O'CONNOR: President Obama.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a poll by Quinnipiac University, more than 90 percent of U.S. voters are in favor of background checks for all blank buyers.

O'CONNOR: Gun.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the FAA approved a one time only flight of Boeing's grounded blank from Texas to Washington.

O'CONNOR: 787 Dreamliner.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The confirmation hearings for John Brennan, President Obama's pick to head the blank, began Thursday.

O'CONNOR: CIA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A family in Brazil was surprised to find their healthy pet tortoise in a back room of their house because blank.

O'CONNOR: He died.

SAGAL: No, because they lost her over 30 years ago.

O'CONNOR: Whoa.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Animal Planet announced that a record 12.4 million viewers tuned in to watch the blank last Sunday.

O'CONNOR: Puppy Bowl.

SAGAL: The Puppy Bowl.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Malaysian Airlines announced that it would now be offering a blank free zone on their flights.

O'CONNOR: Kid free.

SAGAL: Kid free zone.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A restaurant owner in Norfolk, England is defending his right to sell what he calls the Kids Breakfast, consisting of blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: Beer.

SAGAL: No. The Kids Breakfast consists of 12 pieces of bacon, 12 sausages, 6 eggs, 4 slices of bread and butter, 4 slices of toast, 4 slices of fried bread, 2 hash browns, an 8-egg cheese and potato omelet, sautéed potatoes, beans and tomatoes. The breakfast at Jester's Diner is called the Kids breakfast, not because it's for kids, but because it weighs as much as a kid.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The restaurant owner calls it a once in a lifetime challenge, which I don't think anyone is arguing with.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: Because if you get it down, that's the end of your life.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kyrie do? Did she do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed four to win outright. She had six correct answers. So...