Cthulhu-Based Crypto Currency Has Awakened To Destroy Bitcoin

Bitcoin is old news, people. The Ancient Ones that H.P. Lovecraft tried to warn us about in his dark, twisted tales are getting in on the crypto currency game via a site called Cthulhu Offerings. The site claims: “Four weeks and five days long it builds until Cthulhu awakens and one worshipper is rewarded greatly!”

Cthulhu and his invincible, demonic ilk are soon to awaken but need sacrifices from worshippers. To do this, Cthulhu Offerings has resorted to bribing us via the internet. The instructions are:

During the first and second weeks of the ritual, sacrificial amounts are placed in special, once a day blocks. These blocks are a reward to the worshipper for sacrifice made. During the third and fourth weeks of the ritual the rewards build, small at first, then larger as the worship increases with fervor. During the last five days, the ‘Tharanak shagg,’ or “promise of dreamland,” the ritual reaches final pitch and the daily special blocks are highly increased. Finally Cthulhu will return after the xxx665th offering has paid tribute to the Great Old One and he will bestow a bounty deserving of Him upon one lucky worshiper. The ritual can be repeated after six months time, following the great halving.