Five CT Places To Dump Your Valentine

It’s Valentine’s Day. Sure, for some it’s all about roses and chocolates- but for others, it’s time to dump their significant other. Seems like an awkward time to do it, but actually makes a lot of sense. Why suffer through another holiday with someone you have no intention of staying with? The question becomes “Where do I dump him/her?”- So while people scramble to figure out where make their romantic reservations, you should consider these Connecticut places to dump the loser.

AMF Milford Lanes, Milford, CT

Bowling alleys are the most unromantic place on Earth! There won’t be any confusion as to whether there’s going to be some kind of proposal because after you put on those terrible shoes, you can just tell her the truth- That you’re dumping her and that you plan on eating some nachos. You can leave it up to her if she would like to finish the frame or just leave immediately. She may not realize it right now, but you’ve just given her a story for life “One time a guy dumped me at the bowling alley on Valentine’s Day”. What you won’t get that you should is a thank you.

Yale University Library, New Haven, CT

They can’t yell at you if you’re in a library. Duh. And if they do and they’re escorted out by security you can just sit back and hide out in the Shakespeare aisle. There’s no one ever back there anyway. Plus it’s the second largest library in the country that makes it perfect if you need to make a quick getaway after you drop the news. Just hide in the aisles. They’ll never find you.

Union Cemetery, Easton, CT

When you tell your significant other that plan on taking them to a cemetery on Valentine’s Day, there’s a good chance they’ll get the point. Then you can act all philosophical and explain that you are at a cemetery because cemetery’s have dead people… and they are now dead to you.

Bridgeport Police Department, Bridgeport, CT

I am not kidding when I tell you that I have a family member that broke up with his fiancé by bringing THE POLICE with him to her home. He thought that she would kill him (she was harmless by the way, but two months before your wedding? I probably would have killed him too) but he had the right idea. No better way to show what a wimp you are but keep yourself protected than breaking up with someone in front of law enforcement.

Chuck-E-Cheese, Orange, CT

Screaming kids? Gross soda and cardboard pizza everywhere? They will be so relieved that they can quickly leave this hellhole when they realize that this isn’t your idea of fun, it’s your idea of a break up. Again, you will deserve a “thank you” for giving her/him the lifelong story “I got dumped at Chuck-E-Cheese”.