Texas Town Apparently Takes Lyrics To “Pour Some Sugar On Me” Literally… By Intentionally Adding Sugar To The Water Supply!

CBC reports*, in an interview that can be listened to here, that a Texas town is adding 4 tablespoons of sugar to every eight ounces of tap water, with the goal of increasing water consumption by getting residents to drink at least 8 cups of water a day.

Yes. You really read that. And just a day after we wrote about an airline CEO saying planes in seat belts are “pointless.”

If you listen to the interview, you will learn that people in the town are consuming more than the 8 cups of water per day, and apparently don’t mind coming out of the shower a “bit sticky.”

This seems like a wonderful solution to America’s obesity problem, and by “wonderful solution,” we mean we bet the increasing number of obese people at least probably smell better.

3 Worse Things To Add To City Tap Water Than Four Tablespoons Of Sugar

1. Bottled water. This will just make the bottled water versus tap water debate more confusing, especially when someone asks: “Why don’t we just drink it out of the bottles, instead of pouring all the bottles into the water reservoir, and then throwing the plastic bottles in the lake?”

Please don’t put mermaids in the tap water, either.

2. Alcohol. Because if everyone is drinking alcohol in their water, eventually they’re going to get wasted and come up with dumb ideas like adding sugar to everyone’s municipal tap water.

3. Oxygen. It may at first sound like just a bad idea, since we need oxygen and water to live. But then when the town’s firefighters try to put out a fire with a hydrant full of oxygen, the town would realize its a really bad idea.

*P.S. Thanks CBC Radio for making your comedy show appear like real news on your web site! We hope you inspire CNN to acquire the Onion, and then run all the satirical stories under the CNN logo! (We hope that because we don’t own stock in CNN parent company Time-Warner.)