Simon Haynes

Simon Haynes

Bio

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock series (for teens/adults), which consists of eight novels and two short stories. He also writes the Hal Junior series for ages 8-12, and the first book in the new Harriet Walsh series for teens and adults is out soon.

Genres

Action/Adventure

Children

Fantasy

Horror

Humor & Entertainment

Science Fiction

Teen & Young Adult

Blurbs

I laughed my way through the whole book. Writing humor is not easy, but this author made it seem effortless. In a world filled with robots and AIs, Clunk endeared himself to me. Adversely, his human counterpart, Hal Spacejock, was just the opposite. I wanted to strangle him numerous times. But this was by the author's design. These two experience one hilarious snafu after another. Thankfully, it all ended well and I'm off to read the next book !!

A dark comedy of a young woman that pulls you into her desperate actions to become the only human police officer for an entire planet. Had me smiling and chuckling, especially at the comic relief of the over-powered and under-programmed robot companion. Sill reading away, stealing time to finish it...

Another great novel for those of us who enjoy seeing a strong female lead character set in a scifi mystery setting.

Free Book Giveaways

Peace Force (Book 1 in the Harriet Walsh series)

Harriet’s boss is a huge robot with worn out batteries, the patrol car keeps asking her out and their first case will likely kill her. Welcome to the PEACE FORCE!

Harriet Walsh is desperate for work, but when an intergalactic crime-fighting organisation offers her a job she's convinced it's a mistake. She dislikes puzzles, has never read a detective mystery, and hates wearing uniforms. So why did the Peace Force pick her?

Who cares? Harriet needs the money, and she's happy to go along with the training for as long as they keep paying her. She'd better dig out some of those detective mysteries though, because she's about to embark on her first real mission ...

A Portion of Dragon and Chips

When a battered old robot washes up on the shores of the Old Kingdom, it signals the end of a fragile alliance among the four ancient Houses. It turns out dragons are really tasty, and having filleted, boned and baked their scaly allies to the very brink of extinction, no single House can hope to win out against the other three.
Into this shaky impasse steps the mechanical man, impervious to crude weapons, magic, suspicious wedding feasts, poisoned wine, and fire of any colour, be it wild, angry or just slightly annoyed.
Each House stakes their claim to the mechanical marvel, convinced the mysterious creature will lead them to a crushing victory against the others once they teach it to fly. And breathe fire. And, you know, ignore the Three Laws.

The Desolator

A barbarian, a halfling and a cleric walk into a bar ... join Hurm, Runt and Father Mephistophiles as they struggle to save the hamlet of Yendour from a marauding dragon. A high fantasy parody from the author of the Hal Spacejock series.

A 5000 word short story originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #6

Thonn!

In Thonn's world, Magick has been banned by politicians: corrupt, power-hungry, twisted, evil … and the Magick wasn't much of a boon either.
So imagine Thonn's surprise when he spies Eddie de Elder attempting Magick spells inside his remote cottage!

Hal Spacejock 1: A robot named Clunk

A Robot Named Clunk is one part buddy movie, two parts laughter and three parts madcap adventure.

Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him off for a refit, because old robots are usually junked. So what's the catch?
Well, before the refit he must help a freelancer pick up some cargo.
Landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem for Clunk.
The freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.
Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when the deadline expires?