Thursday, February 26, 2009

I have a friend who with her husband adopted two children out of Oregon State Foster Care. One of the children has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She is 11 years old. Beautiful but very dangerous. She has threatened and abused her younger brother since before they both came to live with my friends when she was four.

Last October while her mom and I were at a class out of town she physically abused her father in a manner I will not go into here. At that time Washington States solution to the problem was to split the family up. With Dad and brother living at a different address. How is this going to help the family heal? Or there is the Catholic Community Services suggestion of building a wood box ( cage ) in the garage and putting her in it. HOW BARBARIC ! And it would take several large men to get her into it when she is in full rage anyway....sheesh! This family is at the end of the line. They have worked and tried and done everything the state told them to do with no real help in sight. The parents finally gave up and came to the conclusion that the only thing they could do was terminate parental rights and have her placed in foster care. They just had to last until Feb. 18th to have a mtg with all the "service's" to decide what the "service's" were going to recommend.

The younger brother who is now seven has not felt safe in his own home for too long. After all the phone calls, therapy, and paper work the family had a mtg with "the authorities" last week.The two therapist's that have seen all the family members both agreed that she NEEDS residential care. But, the only person there with the authority (Columbia River Mental Health) to order it who, btw has never met any of them said that the only thing available to this family is respite. Like a few hours out of the house each week will make all things bright and beautiful. Never mind the fact that RESPITE CARE DOES NOT EXIST for children who are this big of a liability. We are talking about a family that carries a $2,000,000.00 (yes, that is 2 million) liability insurance policy. NO ONE OTHER THAN HER OWN PARENTS ARE GOING TO DO THAT. The family has been seeking respite for years to no avail.

The seven year old brother wants to kill himself to be rid of his sister. YEAH, that's healthy. Let's just keep everyone where they are. Splitting the family up is not an option. The most aggressive personality needs to be removed from the family in order for the family to heal. Why do we have to tear the whole family apart over one child who cannot live in a "normal" home situation?

And when some child somewhere murder's his/her parent or sibling we all stand by in a stupor and WONDER what went wrong? Why was the kid not getting treatment? Why didn't someone do something? How could this have happened? Duh? The answer I'm sure is that service's were provided and all parties were seeing therapists and nothing worked......oh if only little "susie/bobby" had received the help (respite) they needed this never would have happened. I'll tell you what went wrong. The service's that "some" children need just do not exist in Washington State. And precious little elsewhere.

I really do not want to read about my friend and her family on the front page of the news paper.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Our youth group fun activity for February was ice skating. The girls had a great time, the adults on the other hand.....

Two adults got to top off this fun event with medical care. One with a broken wrist and one with a sprained wrist. As soon as I heard that the adult leader had broken her wrist I told dh to "get those skate's off now!" Alas, it was too late. The damage had already been done. Now all my honey do projects for the two weeks he has off work this month are in jeopardy. He has been complaining about his butt hurting too. I don't have any sympathy....it's not like someone held a gun to his head.

When asked before hand if I planned on skating I said "oh bleep no" I have a hard enough time just walking on flat, dry ground or even carpet. I'd probably break my neck at an ice rink.

Ice Skating will probably be taken off the fun list after this last weekend.