Now serving... the McDonalds English Pub Burger

Anybody who has a) been to either New York or New Orleans and b) subsequently tasted a New York Classic or New Orleans Deluxe from McDonalds will know the burgers have nothing whatsoever in common with the cities - although to be fair, you probably guessed that without visiting. Like the News of the World, it's an entirely tasteless affair but they've stayed in business purely because the public will happily feed on whatever shit they're shovelled.

Over the other side of the Atlantic, Americans have to put up with the same nonsense. They're about to be introduced to an English Pub Burger, which clearly has never seen any alehouse east of Coney Island. The delicacy is currently being trialled in Illinois, where customers can buy the Angus beef patty with hickory-smoked bacon, white Cheddar and American cheeses, grilled onions, steak sauce and smoky Dijon mustard sauce on an artisan roll.

Y'know, that steak sauce, hickory-smoked bacon and white cheddar we all wolf down in Blighty? Lovely jubbly. Maccy D's even translate common English words such as fancy and smashing to hilarious effect. Ah ha ha ha! Cor blimey, apples and pears etc etc. Idiots.

I had hickory smoked bacon in a bacon burger in a pub last week. It is seen as up-market or gourmet. In fact, they did describe it as a gourmet burger. And isn't white cheddar just what americans use to refer to mild cheddar?

Tom - certainly! I'll do my best to remove the two typos that have seemingly caused you some sort of massive brain trauma today, if you promise to leave comments that have a point of some sort. Deal, sizzlechest?