Ha! My sister and I played "beauty parlor" once and she cut one side of my hair really short and left the other side long. I remember waking my mom up from a nap to show her...needless to say, she was "not a very happy mommy"...

It's not so much that he gave himself a haircut, because most kids do that at some point, but why in earth at midnight? Who gets up and says, HEY, think I'll starting cutting my hair off? (Besides Britney Spears, of course). I'm dying laughing - I love where he turned the lamp on, which I'm assuming is RIGHT NEXT to your head......

My late brother Jonathan started with the early Apples. My mother tells the story about him as an 11 year old in the sea of adults at a workshop. A question was raised and everyone was silent. Jonathan waited, and waited, and finally raised his hand to give the correct answer.

He used to pick my bedroom lock when he was two and steal my miniatures. Then he'd hide them in the bottom of his toy chest. ::rolls eyes::

Meh, it's just hair. It'll grow back. Until then give the kid a buzz cut or something.

A long time ago a friend of mine, who had a toddler, thought it would be cute to make his Mac play a Sesame Street soundbyte when he emptied the trash. He didn't know the toddler knew how to turn on the computer until one 3 am when he woke up to hearing "I Love Trash!" over and over. Needless to say he had to go find the install disks...

I was at a party last night and while being nice to Somebody Else's Kid, she showed me two computer programs where you could play beauty parlor and give haircuts to the beauties. I can see where cut-my-own-hair ideas come from...her results were quite cute. Might give a kid a false sense of hairstyling prowess.

Oldest in a large family of sibling (eight of us kids...and we could do 'percents', i.e. given an evenly divided blueberry pie if Susie and Terry eat their share, how much is left?), so went through the personal haircut phase from several different angles. Like when Tommy wanted to trim his and Jimmy's hair, etc. It's way before Dr. G's time, but there was a popular song (maybe about the same time as lime in the cocoanut, to the effect of placing small objects in one's body cavities (beans in your ears?)--so little sister immediately tried out the pebbles in her nose routine, which required a trip to ol' Doc Watkins, 2+ days later when snuffled breathing, pain, and an awful stench interfered with life.

Dr. G, you and the missus just enjoy yourselves, and get some sleep right now, if you can....

Mine did that when she was five. Happy mom here - she'd had long "princess" hair that she could not keep untangled nor would she tolerate me brushing it, wouldn't let me cut it.

She gave herself a VERY cute pageboy with longer points near the face that just needed a little trimming on the back - lots of compliments at school with the undercurrent of "she finally did something about that poor little girl's hair."

When my older son trimmed his hair at 4-5, he trimmed his eyebrows, and those took a long time to grow back. But, when the younger son took care of his personally expressive hairstyle at age 3, 16 yrs later, he went for the eyelashes (and, they were such lovely lashes for a little boy). His pediatrician was horrified.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!

Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.

Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.