Favorite Caddyshack Quotes

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

Tony D'Annunzio: Another Rob Roy, Bishop?Bishop: You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.Judge Smails: Wrong, you're drinking too much your Excellency.Bishop: Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you.Judge Smails: You're not a man, you're a bishop, for God's sakes.Bishop: There is no God...