A man was arrested at a Walmart in New Castle, Del. on Tuesday for allegedly throwing semen on a female customer because he thought she was "hot." His flawed approach to communicating with women might be inspired by porn, and that's a problem.

A police report from the Delaware State Police states that the 20-year-old woman was harmlessly texting someone in an aisle when 22-year-old Frank J. Short, Jr. eased past her like a creep and said "Excuse me." That's when the victim felt an unwelcome wetness on her leg, thigh and buttocks. She initially thought Short had spit on her, but when she looked down, she noticed the "glob of semen" below her knee.

Shocked, she walked through the store looking for help with Short following her. Employees eventually took her to a security office for safety and a manager phoned police, who placed Short under arrest. During questioning, he attempted to explain that he sneezed into his hand and some delinquent mucus might've flown onto the woman. He then changed his story to say he spit into his hand and wiped it on the woman when he tried to "slap her ass."

Further questioning revealed that Short—who inexplicably began hyperventalating—was a self-described "loner" who gets some perverted thrill out of groping women and smearing his semen on them. He faces several charges, including offensive touching with bodily fluid, lewdness, harassment and disorderly conduct.