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Just be sure to ignore your server's recommendations and get it with Gruyère. Also, I dare you to ask, as I did, if they ever considered toasting their buns. But once you obey Ann's eight rules, you get rewarded with a double cheeseburger topped with chili, bacon, grilled onions, and the satisfaction of knowing you've just eaten one of America's legendary burgers.

On its face, a steamed cheeseburger kind of seems like a bad idea.

In the land of, as I describe it in my review, "many blonde women with Dallas hair cooing impressively as men wearing expensive jeans with Dallas belt buckles told the stories of their football heydays at Highland Park," the burger is often an afterthought on this fancy menu, but it shouldn't be.

The meat from Southeast Family Farms in Alabama is funky and perfectly seared, and the caramelized onions taste like they directly from some French onion soup appetizer.

It turned into stories of people and places as much as food.

The quest became a living journal of the way we live, think, and eat now. To that point, here lies a ranked list of the 100 best burgers I ate over the past year.

With a pretzel bun that's surprisingly airy and light, special spicy sauce that gives the aioli an extra bite, and loose house-ground beef balanced by B&B pickles and the tang of grilled red onions, the burger at this Sacramento sausage hall is definitely worth a trip to the city with the largest tree canopy in the United States.

It means that 230 of the burgers I tried this year, most of which were recommended to me by local chefs and food writers, did not make the top 100.

It is intense and delightful all at once, much like my experience of going back to Dallas.

I think I'm just going to list the ingredients held within this burger: meat, Gruyère, aioli, onion marmalade, house pickles, grain mustard, peppery arugula.

In an effort not to overheat your phone or Power Mac G4 Quicksilver, most of these write-ups are short, with links to the longer versions in each city.

I plan to update this yearly, and try to visit as many other cities as possible, until I can finally look at a map of the United States and feel confident that I can give you a burger recommendation within 100 miles of anywhere you point. But for now, you'll have to settle for the top 100. If the word “jucy” has the "i" in it, you're in the wrong spot.