a space for holy commotion and examination

identity

Read part I here... In middle school, there was this expensive Japanese procedure that promised to straighten your hair--permanently. It was trending among some of the girls in my class, and I remember when the girl who sat next to me in Social Studies had it done. Her hair flipped over her shoulder, glossy and … Continue reading being ethnic: part II

In relation to yesterday's post, here and here are the other posts I've written about race-related stress and racial trauma. As an added caveat, I think it's important to remember that the presence of trauma of any kind does not reduce a person's situation to the oppressor/victim dichotomy our polarized society is so fond of.

Dear Black and Latinx family,
I write this for you because I rarely do. This reality sunk in a few months ago during lunch with a former supervisor. We were discussing Tal Nehisi-Coates' Between the World and Me, pointing out how striking and vital it was that he so unapolegetically directs his thoughts to black people. In contrast, I realized that much of what I write has another audience waiting beyond the curtain. My subconscious has been molded by expectation and pressure to write for this audience, to teach and challenge, to elucidate and defend, to appease. Yes, appease because I fear being barred from the parties of discourse where I am viewed as exceptional--not one of "Those People." The unfettered desire races around the mind room where I hide it: I want to belong there--fully.

where do i find veins like rivers to carry me to the ocean where i am indigenous for i belong in no one place what do I call my own? I finally took the time to watch Beyonce's "Lemonade" this morning. I was afraid to at first because I'd heard so much praise from other … Continue reading location

"Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness; the truth more first than sun, more last than star…" -E.E. Cummings The bus arrived in Chicago on a clear morning. I left the Greyhound bus station in a bluster of bouncing … Continue reading re-vision part III

"She lost her illusions in the collapse of her sympathies." - D.H. Lawrence Lines of text slit my screen, and out spilled blood and tears. Chapel Tweets didn't happen my sophomore year. Happen is a calm, pleasant word reserved for "it happened to rain" or "he happened to stop by for a chat." Happen fails … Continue reading re-vision part II

"The beautiful ghosts of our past haunt us, and yet we still can’t decide if the pain they caused us outweighs the tender moments when they touched our soul. This is the irony of love." -Shannon L. Adler I visited my alma mater this past spring break after months of planning and daydreaming what it … Continue reading re-vision part I