Hagia Sophia

This time of tribulation within the grand scheme of it all is a bit on the beta end of the frequency spectrum of vibrations. A lot of negative personal events are ensuing and ensuring the downfall of Yours Truly as far as the situation goes. Its a very sad time for me and I can’t seem to manipulate the band of circumstance in the favor of harmonious tranquility. I wish to escalate my vibrations while being anchored down by endless, consistent grief as well as copious amounts of brooding & harping. Needless to say I may be at the point of conceding defeat and moving on to the next endeavor. It pains me to admit such things but writing anything else would simply be a lie. I appreciate the nature of doom & gloom by all means, but an excessive amount with no rest of higher ground makes me feel extreme pressure behind my left eye as if it is about to pop out its socket due to restless frustration of an impeccable misery. Current events cannot and will not continue this way if there is no improvement in sight. I refuse to further participate in expecting different results from my numerous attempts at recalibrating that which is already fixed in its own entirety. A farewell is very much possible more than before and will be definite should this grimness persist.

I miss my daughter. I wish she were right here with me.

I miss my brother. I’m glad I was able to visit him yestermorrow in his current prison but I wish he was right here with me.

As strange as it may seem I feel a bit more like Myself now that I am coming to terms with my inability to assuage the contents of this parcel. How disgraceful I suppose some of you would say.