I was in the mood for a donut, Coco’s Donuts didn’t have the donut I wanted, so I ended up going to Voodoo Donuts, got a maple bar, ate about half of it, threw it out and was depressed for about 30 minutes. I figured that’d make a good comic strip, though the title would be something else “Desperation Donut” perhaps, but now that title is contrived but most things for the sake of art is if you ask me, very deliberate… almost bullshit. Anyhow, this is a working idea and that is what I have in mind for the fornthe first panel.

Sometimes the ego needs to be fed, and sometimes there is a fine line between wanting to be loved or just plain wanting to be wanted. Lately my ego is starved and I’m no closer to love as well as needed.

I have some ideas, but as of late I’ve fallen flat. Truthly, there is anxiety that keeps me from succeeding any further at this point. I don’t know… it’s a bit bleak out there at the moment. I’ll figure it out on my own, that is the only way to figure this shit out.

Haven’t done one of these in awhile, I haven’t been motivated in awhile. I have been preoccupied as of late, but with nothing all that interesting. My summer has been a drag, more so than usual… It all stems from not being active but that’s a whole different monster. I’ve met some great folks, but those moments were literately a flick of light and I found myself even more alone at times than I would have been other wise.

So as always, now that summer is nearing its bullshit conclusion I can safely assume my role of someone less annoyed with folks. I’ve been far more conscious as of late of what I’ve been doing and who I’m effecting so that’s a step up. Also, I’m forcing myself to be motivated. It’s sort of working I guess. Though as far as my creativity goes, this is it at the moment… Looks like a Peanuts fuck-up… As if Charles Schultz looked at it and said, “I’ll save this later and wipe my ass with it” and then thought that he was insulting toilet paper. Probably not all that bad, but I’m not exactly drawing the second coming of Shermy here.

Anywho… I’m being opptimistic as far as I can be, perhaps that’s something.

Not exactly getting it together with my “drawing” but I am trying to keep up with this comic blog. I think I had this idea of drawing a cat wearing a suit, not for any original ideas (as it certainly isn’t an original idea) but because I wanted to draw a cat in a suit. However, I drew this instead but and I’m plenty happy with it. Probably took me all of thirty seconds but whatever… It is progress of sorts.

Back in December I tore a ligament in my knee, shortly afterward I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I found myself really shutting out any anger I had and wanted to move forward and after a few weeks met someone else, and we really were into each other, though being out of work and depressed I couldn’t get it together enough so that situation imploded and about this time I had been drinking more than I usually had, and I haven’t exactly have been taking care of myself aside from physical therapy. I started to date people but didn’t look for anything too serious… As a result, I found myself alone and drunk. I was finally able to come back to work, but at this point I had put on almost thirty pounds, though I figured I’d be able to work it off. I did drink less, but anytime I did drink I found myself getting more and more belligerent. In between that time, and completely sober, I got into a bike wreck in which I faceplated and knocked out a front tooth.

So I’ve been alienating friends and potential relationships, got fat, disfigured my face, and I found time to regret all of it. So I’m taking a break from… Well a lot actually, but I’ll keep up on here, and not much else.

Yeah, I’m really out of it… Artistic abilities aside, I’m also empty on ideas… I mean, lately what’s been happening in my life is (at least to me) a little depressing, and not that I wouldn’t want to get those experiences out there, but I need to probably take more than my usual twenty minutes to flush those out… Plus drawing myself in crutches is not as easy as you’d think… I don’t know, but here is something.

So, it’s been a little bit so quite a bit has happened. One being I have severed a ligament in my knee since NYE, and haven’t been to work since. I had thought I met an amazing women until I caught her cheating on me, and have pretty failed at any sort of dating experience since… Also, my main social outlet being my job, I’ve been a bit removed from humanity. Surprisingly, I’m not exactly in a super awful place, but I’ve been happier. As far as the “amazing woman” goes, that really was an upsetting experience, though I’m moving forward as much as one can I guess. Still though… She was a little bit of a support unit through my recuperation, and I’m pretty much isolated as a person can be. I mean, I do have some friends, but they are all working and quite frankly have lives… It’s been a rough month. I can only hope tomorrow will be better and then the next day and the day after that… I don’t really have much else at the moment.

So I’m moving from the Micron pens to the Mirco-Line, though I’m not certain if I’m really into them yet… So far I’m more into the idea of using Micro-Line over Micron, but time will tell. I was willing to shell out another 17 dollars for colored versions on the pen and this is what I came up with… A shitty drawing of a shithead 90s rave kid. No reason that this image should be in my head whatsoever, but there it is… Sigh, I need a rad girlfriend.