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Friday, August 31, 2012

Facing the Truth

"Mom!! She's talking about Harry Potter again!" The wail came from my 12 year old daughter, Casey, in the back seat of the car.

Her twin sister went on, "He didn't want to upset the balance of the Slytherins, so he cast a spell on the trolls in the dungeons and accidentally unleashed the power of Voldemort on Pottermore, obliterating the Undead." (I'm kidding... I have no idea what she said. I wasn't listening either.)

Sometimes we're like that when we're faced with things we don't want to accept, aren't we? We stick our fingers in our ears, rock back and forth, and mutter, "Go away. I can't hear you. I don't want to hear you. Go away!"

We can do that for awhile. When facing the truth means letting go of things that we don't want to release, it's hard to listen. It's hard to be honest with ourselves. When we're honest, when we're really honest and we accept the truth of things, it often means that we're going to have to take actions that are going to hurt someone. Sometimes they hurt us, sometimes they hurt someone else. Sometimes, it's both.

But, eventually, we have to go there. We can't run away from the truth forever. We can't avoid what's real forever. Even if it hurts, we have to be honest. We have to be honest with ourselves and we have to be honest with others. Hiding things under the rugs and ignoring the elephants in the room fix nothing. They change nothing. The truth is still there, even if you try to ignore it.

At some point, it will come knocking on your door and demand to be faced, whether you're ready or not. It won't listen when you "LA LA LA" at it, and it won't go away if you turn around to face the other wall. It will still be there. You will have to face it. And you will have to feel and deal with the hurt it brings. And then you will have to act on that.

But, you will be stronger for having done it. You will be better for having been honest.

I am working hard with my kids to face things right away. The simmering of lies (and manipulation, frustration, and anger) just eat away at our souls. It's like taking a bandaid off slowly or just getting it over in one fell swoop!