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My nephew has adhd. He has been on the meds for it ,but they make him violent. They have tried depacote, but that is not working either. The only facility that can offer counseling for him WON'T. They tell my sister that it is not a mental health issue. He has major behavior issues. He acts out, hits anyone in site, pretends to be things he's not. One counselor has said that he needs counseling. How do you parent a child like this. Timeouts don't work. he will destroy anything in his path when told "NO". Where are there some resources to go to or places that can help. He did not finish last year, He was suspended the last two weeks of school. If we can't get behavior under control, he will not be allowed back to school. Does anyone have any ideas of what we can try????

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9 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:behavioral problems in an adhd 8yr old boyMy nephew has adhd. He has been on the meds for it ,but they make him violent. They have tried depacote, but that is not working either. The only facility that can offer counseling for him WON'T. They tell my sister that it is not a mental health issue. He has major behavior issues. He acts out, hits anyone in site, pretends to be things he's not. One counselor has said that he needs counseling. How do you parent a child like this. Timeouts don't work. he will destroy anything in his path when told "NO". Where are there some resources to go to or places that can help. He did not finish last year, He was suspended the last two weeks of school. If we can't get behavior under control, he will not be allowed back to school. Does anyone have any ideas of what we can try????

Sadly, I have heard this story before, and I can totally empathize with your families situation! How wonderful of you to reach out and try to help.

First off, is your nephew seeing a really (I mean, REALLY) good Child Psychiatrist? If not, then that is the first place to start.

A child as you describe can not be disciplined - - they are just not mentally in a place where it will work (seems like you know this already). He needs his brain to slow down, and the "real" little 8-year old needs to come out.

I totally agree that schooling will not be successful - - if he can't function properly in the real world, how in the heck will he sit and learn in a classroom? Right ??

He needs a top-notch Dr., he needs a structured environment without a lot of chaos. I hope he has a stable home life, as this makes life a whole ton easier.

I am happy to help send a long resource links for your sister to explore for places to go and clinics to visit. You can write back with her local zip code, or nearest big City that she can get to easily.

First off, is your nephew seeing a really (I mean, REALLY) good Child Psychiatrist? If not, then that is the first place to start.

A child as you describe can not be disciplined - - they are just not mentally in a place where it will work (seems like you know this already). He needs his brain to slow down, and the "real" little 8-year old needs to come out.

I totally agree that schooling will not be successful - - if he can't function properly in the real world, how in the heck will he sit and learn in a classroom? Right ??

He needs a top-notch Dr., he needs a structured environment without a lot of chaos. I hope he has a stable home life, as this makes life a whole ton easier.

I am happy to help send a long resource links for your sister to explore for places to go and clinics to visit. You can write back with her local zip code, or nearest big City that she can get to easily.

I'm really sorry to hear this story. I can really only echo the sentiments of "momuv4girls", he needs to get connected with a good Dr that can get him on the right meds for him. Meds combined with a good diet and sleep habits can have him enjoying his life in no time.

Everyone reacts differently to meds, sometimes it's not the actual med, it's the dose the kid is on. My therapist told me he was seeing a kid that weighed 120lbs whose Dr had him on 70mg of Vyvanse, and the parents couldn't understand why he was so aggressive! I weigh 175lbs and I'm on 50mg. (Kid switched to 30 or 40mg and the parents were ecstatic with the improvement)

Best of luck, and be patient. As someone who suffered with untreated ADD for a long time I can tell you it's incredibly frustrating. He will absolutley appreciate the patience of those around him once he gets himself on track.

Thanks for your Reply!

Report This| Share this:behavioral problems in an adhd 8yr old boyI'm really sorry to hear this story. I can really only echo the sentiments of "momuv4girls", he needs to get connected with a good Dr that can get him on the right meds for him. Meds combined with a good diet and sleep habits can have him enjoying his life in no time.

Everyone reacts differently to meds, sometimes it's not the actual med, it's the dose the kid is on. My therapist told me he was seeing a kid that weighed 120lbs whose Dr had him on 70mg of Vyvanse, and the parents couldn't understand why he was so aggressive! I weigh 175lbs and I'm on 50mg. (Kid switched to 30 or 40mg and the parents were ecstatic with the improvement)

Best of luck, and be patient. As someone who suffered with untreated ADD for a long time I can tell you it's incredibly frustrating. He will absolutley appreciate the patience of those around him once he gets himself on track.

momuv4girls - can you send me some ADD resources near zip code 19355? Thanks! Also, have you heard of the Dore Program? I just heard about it today, trying to see if anyone knows anything about it. All I know is it's a program for treating, among other things, ADD/ADHD. They have centers in TX and MS, so it's a long way for me to travel from PA! If it seems like a solid program, I'd consider doing it.

Thanks for any help you can offer.

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Report This| Share this:behavioral problems in an adhd 8yr old boymomuv4girls - can you send me some ADD resources near zip code 19355? Thanks! Also, have you heard of the Dore Program? I just heard about it today, trying to see if anyone knows anything about it. All I know is it's a program for treating, among other things, ADD/ADHD. They have centers in TX and MS, so it's a long way for me to travel from PA! If it seems like a solid program, I'd consider doing it.

Sure, I don't mind researching some resources for you - - just wondering what type you are in need of ? For children or adults?Clinics? or ?

No, I haven't heard of the Dore Program - - I would be skeptical of traveling that far though.....I'm sure there are some good resources in your area.If you write back and let me know what you are particularly interested in, I'll try my best.

Sure, I don't mind researching some resources for you - - just wondering what type you are in need of ? For children or adults?Clinics? or ?

No, I haven't heard of the Dore Program - - I would be skeptical of traveling that far though.....I'm sure there are some good resources in your area.If you write back and let me know what you are particularly interested in, I'll try my best.

As for traveling for Dore, it's unlikely that I'd do it, just looking into any and all options. Fortunately, there's a considerable amount of medical resources in the Philly area, hopefully help for ADD is included in that.

As for traveling for Dore, it's unlikely that I'd do it, just looking into any and all options. Fortunately, there's a considerable amount of medical resources in the Philly area, hopefully help for ADD is included in that.

That is kind of momuv4girls to provide such solid resources for you. I would in particular recommend looking into the Parent to Parent training, offered by CHADD (http://www.chadd.org). There is an online version now, so it's accessible no matter where you live. But you could also inquire as to an in-person class in your area. They are all taught by volunteers.

The important thing to understand is that there are often co-existing conditions with ADHD, and sometimes the stimulants will exacerbate them. Often, two medications might be required to treat the full range of symptoms.

At the same time, ADHD is highly genetic, so it is important for the parents to ask themselves if one (or both!) have ADHD themselves. Sometimes adults with ADHD think they are "compensating well" and sometimes that is true, but other times it is not. And research shows that ADHD symptoms can adversely affect parenting skills.

Children need structure, firm but gentle and clear discipline, and routines at home. And some parents with ADHD have a very hard time providing these.

So I recommend that the parents consider an evaluation for themselves and treatment, if called for, in order to best help their son.

Good luck,Gina Pera

Thanks for your Reply!

Report This| Share this:behavioral problems in an adhd 8yr old boyThat is kind of momuv4girls to provide such solid resources for you. I would in particular recommend looking into the Parent to Parent training, offered by CHADD (http://www.chadd.org). There is an online version now, so it's accessible no matter where you live. But you could also inquire as to an in-person class in your area. They are all taught by volunteers.

The important thing to understand is that there are often co-existing conditions with ADHD, and sometimes the stimulants will exacerbate them. Often, two medications might be required to treat the full range of symptoms.

At the same time, ADHD is highly genetic, so it is important for the parents to ask themselves if one (or both!) have ADHD themselves. Sometimes adults with ADHD think they are "compensating well" and sometimes that is true, but other times it is not. And research shows that ADHD symptoms can adversely affect parenting skills.

Children need structure, firm but gentle and clear discipline, and routines at home. And some parents with ADHD have a very hard time providing these.

So I recommend that the parents consider an evaluation for themselves and treatment, if called for, in order to best help their son.

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