The Weird Thing That Lowers a Guy's Self-Esteem

You'll never guess what's tanking his confidence

Here's something super random that could be screwing with a guy's morale: Men feel less self-confident when another man holds a door open for them, according to a new study in the Journal of Social Influence.

The two-part study first looked at how people open the door for others: either by walking through it and holding it open for the person behind, or holding the door and letting someone else go first. They found that men were less likely to have the door held for them in the second way—what they called "chivalrous door holding."

That seems a little unfair to us, but it turns out men might actually prefer it that way. In the next study, researchers gave men a brief survey after they walked through a door (some had it held open while others opened it themselves). Surprisingly, the men who had the door opened for them reported significantly lower self-esteem and self-efficacy (basically, confidence in your ability to achieve things) than those who opened it themselves. So weird, right?

We don't really understand it—holding the door is polite and in no way emasculating—but it definitely had an effect on these guys. Obviously, this doesn't mean you should avoid holding the door open for the dude behind you (ahem, the study didn't say anything about women being the chivalrous ones) but it's interesting to note that some men had such a strong reaction to a pretty simple gesture. Mental note: Don't be surprised if a guy seems less-than-confident on your date if another dude just opened the door for him.