Now Streaming…Netflix “No-No’s”

Consider this: You finally have a night off alone and you experience an unexpected realization that you have 2-3 hours of free time to do whatever you want! What do you do?

1. Turn on your xbox?

2. Read a book?

3. Browse YouTube videos?

4. Go to the movies?

All sounds fun, and then you remember that you have a Netflix account and can stream a movie without having to go sit among some chatty movie watchers or having to try to sneak your own candy and coke into the theater all “Mission Impossible” style.

The problem: The “Good” movie choices on Netflix streaming tend to be “diamonds in the rough.”

How many times have you pressed “play” on a title only to find out 2, 10, 45 mins later that it was a waste of your time and you kept watching either (1) in futile hope of it redeeming itself, or (2) for fear of searching/choosing a different title only to be met with the same disappointment, or (3) in some valiant altruistic effort to finish what you started?

Is this YOU?!

Never fear! I am here to end this epidemic known as “Streaming Sadness.” This first post is the inaugural article in a series I have entitled:

(**I only use Netflix regularly. So, while I check out what is on AmazonPrime, CinemaNow, Crackle, Hulu+ and other such streaming services respectively, this series only focuses on that with which I am most familiar. Feel free to leave comments/recommendations from the other streaming services you may enjoy if you wish.)

So below I have 2 currently available “Now Streaming Netflix No-No’s”for you, along with 2 currently available alternate choices that you should choose instead! Enjoy! 😀

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No-No #1:Post Impact

Rated R

1hr 35mins

Rotten Tomatoes Audience score: 23%

Trailer:

Looking for an end-of-the-world, post-apocalyptic type movie. Don’t watch this one. Starring Dean Cain and a bunch of other actors that are more than likely “unknowns” to you, this film is just horrific. It may appear to be “there’s-nothing-else-to-watch” good, but it isn’t. Bad acting and terrible special effects that make Harryhausen look like a CGI genius, here’s the synopsis from Netflix:

After a meteor hits Earth and leaves much of the planet a frigid, desolate wasteland, Capt. Tom Parker and his motley band of scientists and soldiers are given the dangerous mission of saving the few remaining survivors.

Alternate Choice: Deep Impact -starring Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Téa Leoni, Jon Favreau and Elijah Wood. A great film that didn’t get the attention it deserved because of Armageddon!

Netflix synopsis:

A 7-mile-wide space rock is hurtling toward Earth, threatening to obliterate the planet. To save the world, the U.S. president appoints a steely veteran astronaut to lead a joint American-Russian crew into space to destroy the comet before impact.

Trailer:

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No-No #2:Monsters

Rated R

1hr 33mins

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 49%

Trailer:

Looking for a movie with aliens/monsters, people searching for them, and danger and mystery around almost every corner? Yes? Well, you may want to still skip Monsters. A 2010 release that surprisingly was liked more by critics than audiences, but one that I still found to be rather ho-hum. By director Gareth Edwards (who is set to direct the new Godzilla), this film was nominated for several awards, but do not let that fool you. Not really worth the time. Here’s the synopsis from Netflix:

Six years after aliens invaded Earth, a photographer is documenting the war-torn Infected Zone that straddles the U.S.-Mexico border when he’s interrupted by an unexpected rescue mission.

Alternate Choice: Trollhunter :Follow an aspiring investigative reporter student and his film crew as they shadow a man they suspect to be a poacher after evidence of illegal bear shootings begin to surface in Norway. Hoping to expose a bear poacher they soon come to find that the reclusive hardened suspect believes himself to be a government-sanctioned employee on the trail of giant trolls and this one and only Trollhunter uses the “bear killings” as a part of a coverup.

Netflix Synopsis:

While investigating a series of suspicious bear killings, a group of students trail a mysterious “hunter” who tries to elude them at every turn. The group soon learns that his prey is far more dangerous and mystical than mere bears.

This exciting subtitled psuedo-documentary style film puts you right in the middle of the suspenseful action and is surprisingly a lot of fun to watch. Check out my friend Jaina’s review of the foreign film here.

Trailer:

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Well, these are just simply recommendations of Netflix No-No’s. (I’d also like to point out that EVERY single one of the reviews I have written are still always available to check out by clicking the link on the top of the page that says“List of Movie Reviews…the Archive.”) What do you think? Do you actually like the ones I posted to avoid? Share why in the comments. Have you bothered to see the alternate recommendations? Have any Netflix No-No horror stories to share of your own? Hit up the comment section.

May you all have some pretty great “Nights in with Netflix.” (Esp if you watch TROLLHUNTER). End your “Streaming Sadness” today!

Thanks for reading! Happy Watching!

–T, The Focused Filmographer

(Did you like this segment? Want to see more? Let me know by pressing the “Like” button or leaving a comment.)

up next: Trailer Time Thursday!

***Do not forget! Voting for the RED WEB AWARDS remains open until Saturday night. Vote for your faves before it’s too late.

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34 comments

one of my room mates tried watching monsters. We soon realized it was crap. It looked and felt like a poorly written student film. Hell, I’d rather watch one of the overly bad cgi heavy movies like crocosaurus or titanic 2 or that one about the birds that attack everyone(not the incredible Hitchcock film, this one is more recent) simply for the fun factor and to make fun of them.

Thanks Dusty. Ya know, good point, a lot of the good ones are ones I have already seen and there are indeed several good ones that are indie. But ya gotta mine them out. Thanks for giving me a diff lens to look thru

Aw cmon, man. Monsters was pretty good! There’s some themes there to be mined… its not really an action movie or anything. Although it has its tense moments. I guess I’m just one of those critics who liked it more than audiences!

Monsters just didn’t do it for me and was quite boring all the way through. Wish I could say diff but it made my first Netflix No-No list. haha. It is quite fun seeing the difference of opinion. I find it kinda funny that no one has mentioned Deep Impact at all. LOL.

See Trollhunters, Ruth. I think you might find it very fun. a neat spin.

I loved “Troll Hunter” (I even wrote about it), but I also thought “Monsters” was very good as well. It was perhaps overly-serious, but I liked how the characterization played out. It shouldn’t be dismissed and thrown into categories like “Post Impact”.

Awesome. Love seeing all the love for Trollhunter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I like to think of it as Post Impact just happens to be in the same category as Monsters. Haha. I couldn’t get into it at all. But glad for the opposite point of view!

Always a pleasure. When I was almost done with the film I remembered seeing something abt it on your page, went and commented, and decided right then that I would add the link. ha. so much fun.

I think part of the prob with Monsters for me was the marketing. I think that’s fair. It came out around the same time as the trailers started showing for Skyline (horrible) and Battle: Los Angeles (tolerably good). So the expectation was different than how it ended up.

I’m going to have to give it some time before I try to watch it with a diff perspective! 🙂