I always find it fascinating how others see me, compared to how I see myself. While I understand the interpretation, and it is mesmerizing. I find, for me, it feels, like a perpetual black hole inside that nothing can fill, and, forever trying to decipher the reality of what is going on around me, as compared to how I feel is going on around me. People see BPD as instigatory and drama seeking, while, the few I have had the opportunity to talk to, agree, that it's actually reactionary, in a desperate attempt to keep up with the constantly shifting emotions. Chasing what can't be caught, reacting to what has already passed. Amazingly, I do see myself as naked in front of everyone. Like my emotions leave me perpetually ashamed and exposed.

This must be the most frightening illness to have..
I have paranoia to a certain extent,always have,but to hear voices
must be terrifying...
It must feel like you're being persecuted by your thoughts and
soceity...Quite horrifying when you think about it....

My OCD is also not to do with cleaning, but it brings the point across. Have to do it else you can't get comfy and it destroys you. Mine's to do with routine, I have routines with routines, and timings. It's pretty bad and pretty much ruins my life.