Your so ugly-you'd make a freight train take a dirt road. Your so ugly-they had to tie a pork chop around your neck as a kid to get the dog to play with you. Your so ugly-when you were born,the doctors threw you out and gave your Ma the afterbirth. Your so ugly-when you were born ,the doc looked at your ass and said-'Twins!'....and my personal favorite....

If I had a dog as ugly as you,I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.