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Fourteen years and counting

Yesterday was Youngests thirteenth birthday. It was, blessedly, quiet and full of fun for him. It was just the family, sans gramma because she had to go babysit my nieces son for the weekend. My older brother came and spent the night.

Husband was quiet. He baked a pineapple upside down cake for Youngest. He cooked dinner and was peaceful. I’m grateful for that beyond words.

Husband and I have been together fourteen years. Our fourteenth anniversary will be May 1st. The past four have been harder and harder to cope with. After his illness four years ago, he changed. He’s been more violent, less patient and more passive aggressive. He’s withdrawn into his computer. He spends more and more time watching videos and not talking to the family except to complain and cajoal the children. He is becoming more and more unbearable, to the point that youngest asks when we are getting divorced.

Husband has said we will never get divorced. He also says that, if I leave him, youngest will stay with him. Youngest said he will NOT stay.