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Um Swamphunter, I am a Christian but I too think that people that sit around putting things in God's hands to the point of stupidity when their life is falling down around their ears, is, well stupid. The same would apply to thinking that God should be the entire decision about whether someone is "the one" regardless of the deity involved. It is not Christian bashing to suggest that people should take responsibility for important decisions in their lives and hello, if you think it is, just turn the other cheek. More accomplishment in loving the difficult and all that stuff most people somehow miss in reading the gospels.

Still trying to figure out exactly what it is you want to know. Are you asking if there is truth to what she is saying - Does god give a hoot about our dating choices? Does god send people to us? Is that what you want to know?

I would have to answer NO. I don't believe God sends people to us or actively intervenes to send us someone.

But if you are asking about faith that things will work out and we can relax an dnot worry?

I would have to answer YES.

I am more w/CassaGo. I believe more in, well, what you'd call fate. I believe that we do need to figure out the tough questions, act, be on top of things, etc. as you said...but that at the same time, things will work out the way they are meant to. Oh that doesn't mean sitting at home and waiting for mr or ms perfect to knock on your door, no.

You have to be an active participant in your own life. BUT I do think we worry about the future too much. We just don't know what lies ahead. We sit in our houses worrying or crying or frustrated over a turn of events. We feel hopeless. BUT tomorrow, the sun might come out and everythign will be fine.

Yes, bad shit happens. but so does good shit.

Here is my favorite, well used example of my belief system...End of May, 2000, C got pregnantJune 2000, I did in vitro fertilization for the second time. I did not get pregnant.End of June 2000. I am crying and crying that I"ll never be a mom. That it's hopeless. That life just sucks. That it's so unfair.

September 2000. I get an email from my mom that was forwarded from G. G knew of our infertility. G's daughter, C was pregnant (from May) and was planning an adoption. C wanted ot know if we were interested in pursuing an adoption of her baby.

Knee jerk reaction? Discount something so unlikely. What were the odds that this would work out. Second reaction? Hmmm...what if God is sending my baby to me. Maybe I'd better take another look. Maybe God is trying to hit me over the head with this email saying "HERE"S YOUR BABY!"

Sent it to my hubby (of the time). He said "sure, let's call her, who knows, maybe it will work out".

Well, it did work out. My beautiful daughter is 7 now. Smart and opinionated just like her Mama (duh, me).

But here's the thing. I did that IVF cycle in June, not knowing that my baby had already been conceived. She was already growing in her birthmother's womb. I am absolutely positive, without a doubt, that she was meant to be ours. So *that*'s why my cycle was never meant to work. But see, in the end of June, I didn't know that. I didn't know that my baby was out there. And had you asked, I would have said "no way jose".

And had I ignored that email? Bite your tongue! I wouldn't have my daughter. I had to be alert, looking for opportunities to fulfill my dream. I had to be an active participant in my own life. BUT I also had to be alert for FATE to do it's job and have faith that everything would indeed work out as it's meant to.

So anyway...that's where I stand. Call it God, call it fate. Call it "natural course of life". Same thing.

Incidentally, my bf and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I opened up my profile and started talking to POFers and myspacers. Nothing really clicked. Even went on some meets. Didn't click. The next morning I went to a park w/my neighbor, first time there. Met a cute guy, his first time there too. Now we are seeing each other. (this was last Saturday). I felt attracted to him immediately. The chemistry was there where it wasn't w/the others...where the click really didn't happen. But this guy, well, there was NO question that I wanted to get to know him. He came over the next eve to watch a movie and we were HOT for each other. I mean, it was *there*. So far, so good...compatibility is happening on several levels.

Could I ever have anticipated this? No. Was I looking for it? No,but I was certainly alert for the possibility. I mean I saw him, he was cute to me, I looked for a ring. No ring. I mentioned being single and how hard it was. He agreed. So I gathered up every bit of my guts and asked him if he was married or divorced (he had a child w/him). Um, yep, divorced. He got up all his guts and offered me his phone number.

And it just kills me that the 5-6 guys from POF/my*space that I talked to just weren't right... and then the next day there he is. I mean, who woulda figured? I call it FATE.

No "God"lets us make our own choice's on every manner in this life time ,we can get some direction from reading the bible.Its sad how so many on this thread mock God ,but when its all said and done everyone will have had that choice too Seeing how your all so wise and knowing maybe you can explain how we/all came to be

God....The Great Spirit whatever you choose to call him gives humans thought and free will to choose. Sometimes on our journey things happen where we need to make a choice.........sometimes we choose wisely sometimes we do not.

For those that believe, how often may HE have put the right person in our path and we were not ready to make the choice to see it, because the one we thought WE wanted was the better choice at the time. How many of you have lived the woulda, shoulda, couldas?

OP....By your friend saying she is letting it in Gods hands she is avoiding her responsibility for choice , discernment, and her part in what may go wrong in a relationship. How nice when something goes wrong to blame HIM or say its God's will and not take ownership for our bad judgement.

Um Swamphunter, I am a Christian but I too think that people that sit around putting things in God's hands to the point of stupidity when their life is falling down around their ears, is, well stupid. The same would apply to thinking that God should be the entire decision about whether someone is "the one" regardless of the deity involved. It is not Christian bashing to suggest that people should take responsibility for important decisions in their lives and hello, if you think it is, just turn the other cheek. More accomplishment in loving the difficult and all that stuff most people somehow miss in reading the gospels.

I'm sorry packagedeal, but I just don't agree with you. There is NOTHING wrong with a believer who chooses to trust God to guide them to, or provide them with, the person He wishes them to marry. Nor is there anything wrong with a believer who chooses to place the future outcome of a relationship in God's hands. I have those exact same convictions.

As far as "turning the other cheek" goes, Christ was no wimp, especially when you consider all he endured. He could have summoned down an entire legion of angels to his defense, yet chose not to. Being a Christian man does not require me to become an emasculated wimp who allows people to walk all over him, or his beliefs. There were times Christ told his disciples to carry swords and defend themselves, and there were times he told them to go unarmed and trust Him to provide their defense.

Say what you will - but the entire point of this whole thread is basically to ridicule the beliefs of one of my sisters who isn't even here to defend herself. That is basically what this all boils down to, and yes, I do find that offensive. I also find the various comments which have been made about how foolish it is to trust my God to be offensive.

Furthermore, the comments I made about being sick of people disrespecting Christians here in the forums were not pertaining to just this particular thread, but were a comment about the forums in general. Again, you do not see me ridiculing people for NOT believing, or calling them foolish for it. I would appreciate it if the non-believers among us would show the same respect.

I don't think that the two are mutually exclusive. Most of us have a trainload of beliefs of one type or another -- some potentially accurate, many not so accurate -- we couldn't function in the world without belief unless our brains were totally tuned out. I don't really see religious belief as being hugely different than other beliefs about the way the world works.

What do you mean by "better" anyway? The people who "have faith" might claim to be a whole lot happier due to the lack of worrying about what to do -- does that make their way "better"?

However, you can of course sit on your butt and "affirm" or pray that your god will take away all the weeds in your garden, but unless you get out there and do some hard grafting, it's pretty unlikely to happen.

hmmmmm. all I can say is 1 thing , and I saw the difference . My son is ill , we choose to believe that god will take care of us . It is our believe that things will get better and my son will pull thru , our believe gave us the strength to come this far . And in my heart and soul I believe he will be just fine .... god will take care of us , BUT we have to help our selfs as well , WE have to apply our self to it , we have to fight , WE have to choose to live . and yes sometimes the fight will be lost . but I see on a daily basis. children and parents that believe can deal with cancer better then others ...... so who is to tell us we should not .them parents including myself and the kids have a strength far greater then anything i have ever known. I believe that god will guide our doctors right and help them make the right choices ...but again that my believe ... help your self and you will be helped ... thats all there is to it .. not only in your dating life but in all aspects of life ..... you still have to make choice , no matter if you believe or not .. god wont do the work for you ... you have to do the work , but help along the way is awsom .....if your friend chooses not to help her self then god wont ...... a bit pro active would be great for her ......maby she is useing that excuse just to take a longer break or just to take her time , who knows ....maby right now it is for her just to wait and see what life will bring and has to offer

I say God help's those that help themselves. He/she is there for guidence. When you stop looking is when you usually find. You just have to be present in your own body and get out there. This ,my friend, is such a personal choice.

God gave her a mind and I feel she should use it. We alone are responsible for our own decisions. There are many paths in live to take. What road do you choose to go down?

From the looks of it, you are the only one turning the thread into a religious issue and the last time I checked, most people that profess to be of any faith practice it differently. The OP's question is valid whether one believes in something or nothing.

What I and many other people are talking about is being accountable and proactive in your life. If you trusted God to just plop your mate in your lap you would not be on this website. Someone that says, I love him, I am going to trust God to somehow make it work out because the individual wants to believe that this is the right one, despite about a dozen or more red flags that illustrate there is no way in you know what the relationship will work, is really applying their religious beliefs in a bizarre way.

God helps people whether they deserve it or not, loves them no matter what they do, but it's just in my nature to try to make the job a little easier because I try to at least learn from the poor choices of the past. I guess maybe I don't get uptight about religion because I don't think what other people believe or think of me is my business, it's their deal.

If I don't want to listen to someone, I can walk away, unless they are spouting a bunch of crap to my kids, I don't really care what they do because as many people promote bad behaviors as good in the name of religion. If your real concern for your non-believing brothers goes beyond some kind of misplaced pride, do you really expect to reach them by alienating them and pissing them off? People are people, their worth is not determined by their beliefs but how they choose to conduct themselves.

God gave her a mind and I feel she should use it. We alone are responsible for our own decisions. There are many paths in live to take. What road do you choose to go down?

Who's to say she ISN'T using her mind as well as her beliefs? Again, this girl is NOT HERE to defend herself, or her beliefs, and folks are jumping to a lot of conclusions and talking about her like she's an idiot. Personally, I seriously doubt she is.

From the looks of it, you are the only one turning the thread into a religious issue.

You have GOT to be kidding me on this one... Take a look at the title of this thread? LOL!

If I don't want to listen to someone, I can walk away, unless they are spouting a bunch of crap to my kids, I don't really care what they do because as many people promote bad behaviors as good in the name of religion. If your real concern for your non-believing brothers goes beyond some kind of misplaced pride, do you really expect to reach them by alienating them and pissing them off? People are people, their worth is not determined by their beliefs but how they choose to conduct themselves.

So we Christians should just walk away whever someone ridicules us or our beliefs? Does that sound like Jonah when God sent him on a suicide mission to Ninevah? No. Does that sound like Esther when God asked her to risk her life to save the nation of Israel from genocide? No. Does that sound like Christ when he was ridiculed as he preached? No. Does that sound like any of the disciples who were tortured and killed for preaching the gospel? No. Sorry, but I totally reject that argument.

As far as alienating people who bash Christians goes, isn't that kind of pointless? I think it's pretty safe to assume they're already pretty alientated! LOL!

Yes, I certainly realize I'm not likely to win converts in the forums, and that is not my intention whatsoever. Nor is it my intention to push my beliefs on another Christian who doesn't see things as I do. (see Romans 14)

What I AM saying is that we don't bash or mock the unbelievers, or their beliefs, and I would certainly appreciate being shown the same respect. Or do I even GET an opinion since I'm a Christian and should really just keep my mouth shut and walk away? LOL!

God has a lot more to say about marriage than she is saying. In fact, Jesus and his followers recommended that Christians not marry. But if they did marry, they should be equally yoked. It is very difficult to follow two masters. So if the boyfriend follows God, then she can follow both him and God, if he doesn't, then she will have the potential of a conflict with her husband.

Putting things in God's hands-- is from a bible verse that tells Christians not to worry so much. Worry is a waste of emotional energy. It is better to set your intentions (ask and ye shall receive) and then go about your tasks with joy.

The wolf and knight thing isn't from the bible. What every woman needs to pray for is discernment. This is using the brain God gave you, and your heart, to choose a good husband and father for your potential children. If this never happens, then she should accept it as God's will (don't fret about it) and move on in this world.

A Christian approach might be for her to study the bible and clearly know in her mind what God intends for her life. And clearly know the meaning of marriage and marital relations. Then when she meets someone, she will recognize him by these qualities. A Christian can pray, (sometimes asking for a sign from God that she will recognize) then meditate--or listen. So many times people pray (ask, ask, and more asking) but don't listen for the answer. Even if there is no answer. Listening will help. Being open will help.

Even Christian marriages are not easy, and there is no promise that Christians will have anything at all easier in their marriages or lives. In fact, some things will be harder. The same is true for the selection process.

Jesus said very plainly, "Do not worry" (Matthew 6:25). That is not just good advice. Those are not just words of wisdom. Those are marching orders. If I reject them and choose to worry, then I am in sin. Most theologians would agree on this.

Again, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to believe here. Believe what you want. Worry all you choose to worry, but obviously for the girl in question, for myself, and for many other Christians, yes, worrying is a sin. Discernment is not, that's a whole other issue, and in fact that is a spiritual gift, but worrying, yes, it's a sin.

When Paul addressed a very divided church in Romans 14, he was dealing with a bunch of Christians who could not agree on some major issues. Some thought it was okay to drink, and some did not. Some thought it was ok to eat meat, and some did not. He was clearly in a position to "lay down the law" on both issues. He chose not to. Instead, he told them that preserving their unity as believers was more important than being right. If I have someone over for dinner who does not eat meat, I should not serve meat. If they do not drink, I should not drink around them. On matters where the bible is silent, what they consider to be sin to them IS sin for them.

That is not the case here. Clearly Jesus said, "Do not worry". Well, if I'm going to respect another Christian's beliefs where the bible is silent, shouldn't I also respect this girl's beliefs where the bible, and Jesus himself, clearly agrees with her?