Tuesday, June 05, 2007

So the move is finished. I am now a resident of Dubuque, Iowa. Everything is unpacked (mostly), and now the only task that remains is finding a job. I applied to a few retail places, but I have to put together a resume for some medical supply company. Much prayer is needed. Thank you.

Sorry for the long hiatus with no interim blogger. I planned to have someone take over during the absence, but I got so caught up in everything I was doing that I just never got around to it. I guess that shows where my priorities lie.

But, this Sunday, I went to church again (a great church, I might add), so I figured it was time to dust off Kinda Kitschy and try again. Considering that everything I'm doing now is new, I thought I should stick with something familiar. Somehow, though, it's just as horrifying as the first incarnation we looked at on KK.

How many times have I done posts on crummy Armor of God incarnations? Three times? Five times? Well I guess that makes it four...or six, I can't remember. We Christians excel at our ability to take a metaphor and turn it into something ridiculous. We do it almost as well as potlucks...almost. Here's a pic I snapped at a Christian bookstore back in St. Louis.

It's a Christian version of those crummy ninja/cowboy/knight/pastor costumes we boys wore when we were kids. I wouldn't doubt that somewhere, floating around in that nebulous vacuum of improbability called Christian merchandise there's a girl's version of this, and it's probably pink with flowers and a veil instead of a helmet. Anything to sell a few extra units.

What I really want to point out is the parent-nabbing description on the box, proving, once again, that marketing is all about spin.

Welcome back, fellow heretic! This toy needs, like it's other incarnations, a warning label to the effect that: "This is not REAL armor. Will not protect against flaming arrows and/or other attacks, physical or Satanic. Not a substitute for truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation, and Scripture! The wearer is advised not to engage the forces of darkness clad only in this cheaply-made, mass-produced toy armor!"

Don't they know that suffering produces character (Rom 5:3-4)? But I guess suffering isn't as easily marketed as cheap plastic Crusader Gear. Speaking of which...where are the heathens? We must send our child soldiers to convert them!

Juliahools.wordpress.com

ps: Sorry about deleting the original. I didn't know it would stay on record. :)

Who Is This Guy?

Kitsch

A derogatory term used to describe works created specifically in order to pander to public demand. In this case, Christian demand for cutesy knick-knacks and other pseudo-spiritual items. I feel like the word 'kitschy' could describe a lot of the contemporary Christian church. We're converting the world, one t-shirt at a time.