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>Go to the shady “Shitty Food” store. Order food and ask for directions.
>Just press your body up against the window of the shitty food store and mouth breath at the people inside nefore sliding off like a sucker fish.

>Storm the Shitty Food store like a knight on crack, drunkenly flailung ariund with your pipe
until they either stop caring or slowly back off into the staff cafeteria, so that you can steal some food!
But dont get a slushie suprise, its made off all the fluids from the XXX Porn studio after a long day…

BLARWAAWARGH!

Oh, look, it’s empty. Kinda looted too.Sad.

>*pssh* All this talk of working, trading, robbing, and hunting. Be a real lateral thinker and don’t earn food, just steal it from the garbage! If there’s no real food, there’s sure to be some porn you can eat! Anything you can’t digest and break down into deadly poisons can be ground up to get your intake of insoluble fiber. Boom.

Yeah, this is… good.

>Also, investigate that body in the doorway of said food porn shop.

Oh, right, directions. Also potential cannibalism. I mean… what?

“Uh, excuse me, hoss?” You start nervously. It’s come to your attention that you may be socially awkward.
“Heruhng?” He answers with an eloquence that resonates with your very soul. Now you just need to decide what your destination is.

I just thought of something. The only difference between this literally lousy lout and you is that you woke up earlier and you’re brightly colored. Solving the latter will influence the former and get you a new ally.

Double back into the porn/ shitty food store and collect anything you can to make the bum more festively colored. See if you can find any slatternly makeup to make him prettier, or at least some lube to wash him off. Definitely combine the shoelace, paperclip, and button to make a friendship bracelet. Maybe add some porn labels (like off of Hot Tamale) or posters to the cardboard hat to make it look more cheery. Once this is done, offer the items to the NPC to convince him to join your quest to find your identity, or food, or a phone, or your sleeves, or some shit. It works in Dragon Age, it can work for you.