You will always be a super star to us!!!!.....if not the outcome this time.....we will have another go in the Autumn and get the 5 of us together again for another one!!!......I know not the same, but hopefully something positive to focus on!!!......x

I experienced 24 hours of the nightmare that you have been going through for the last few weeks, sadly without the same dignity. I thought I had ITB, the symptoms corresponded but fortunately it's only tense muscles and not inflamed tissue.

I echo everything that has been said above and I echo everything that will be said below, as others on the thread find approriate words to say.

I hope you keep the thread going, or a joint one with the others, especailly as the famous 5 will return in the Autumn.

Wow, another day and another barrage of amazing messages! It really is a pleasure to load up this forum every day, even if the subject matter isn’t exactly what I had planned at the start of this journey!!

Following my chat with physio Sarah at the weekend (who was kind enough to call me even though she was on holiday) we both spoke to Kat from Runner’s World this morning and, what with the thoughts of Sam, Sarah and everybody else, we reluctantly came to the conclusion that I should not run the marathon.

Sam and Sarah will, I am sure, post their own thoughts on why the decision was made but, from my point of view, it was the right decision to make.

Far from improving my knee seems to actually have deteriorated and, given that I have been resting it as much as possible and icing regularly, I know for a fact that there is something really quite wrong with it. Whether that is the cartilage or something completely different, I don’t know yet but it almost isn’t worth speculating and we’ll just see what the MRI comes back with.

I am in daily discomfort with it at the very least and it is regularly painful, with something as simple as walking round the town for a while being enough to cause it to flare up. As I said previously, I’m not one to shy away from things that will be uncomfortable or painful (I am/was training for a marathon after all!) but the thought of attempting to run or walk (for ‘walk’ read ‘hobble’) for 26.2 miles with how it feels right now is incredibly daunting.

I know that I would not be able to run 26.2 miles on it. That’s just a matter of fact. I think the absolute best case scenario would be that I would manage to run/jog for possibly an hour at the absolute most and then be walking/hobbling my way round for the rest of it, if I was even able to make it to the finish... which I’m not sure I would.

That would be incredibly painful and, if I did make it to the end, I’m not sure exactly what sense of achievement I would be left feeling anyway! I was fit enough to be capable before I started this journey of walking 26.2 miles (and could have done it pain-free!) so it is not like I would be doing something out of the ordinary for me or breaking new ground in my running.

So there doesn’t seem to be a justification for punishing myself and for taking the very real risk of doing even more damage to the knee and possibly other parts as well. For example, the three runs I have done since the injury started have all resulted in me pulling my calf muscle, and they were very short runs. I dread to think what I would do over the course of a few hours on it!

I have to admit to feeling absolutely and completely gutted. I can’t describe how much I wish I had not slipped over on that bridge, how much I wish I had run a different way that evening or how much I wish I would be on that start line in Paris.

I am still going to go to Paris, to cheer on the other four runners, see them all smash their targets (as I’m sure they will, given how their training has been going – they should all feel very proud of themselves) and generally drink in the atmosphere of the weekend. But it is going to be a curious experience and a hopefully not too unpleasant mixture of emotions. If you look up the word “bittersweet” in the dictionary after the weekend, there will probably be a picture of me standing at the finish line in Paris...

But I have learned so, so much about my running and about myself from going on this journey and, as strongly as I wish that I hadn’t slipped over on that run, I am equally as strongly delighted that I filled in the application form to enter this competition, that I went to bootcamp and that I was picked to train for Paris.

I have had a fantastic experience from start to finish and I am just amazed at what I have got out of it – so much more than I ever thought I would. I have made friends, memories and huge leaps in my running and realised how much more I could get out of what was a simple hobby I indulged in as a bit of stress relief from time to time, a way to keep in shape or to raise a bit of money for charity now and again.

This journey may be nearly over for all five of us and sadly for me it has not ended in the way I wanted it to but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t look back on it as a success. To have realised what potential I have if I apply myself, to have connected with so many fantastic people whether at training days, on this forum or at race days and to have realised that running needn’t be all about heading out the door on my own for half an hour but can be something much more than that, can only be a success and I’m so thankful for the experience, no matter the final outcome.

I know that, as soon as Dr Kin Kong has fixed me up and I’ve been given the all clear, the first thing I am going to do is pull on my Asics shoes and head out the door for a blessed, pain-free run that is going to put a huge smile on my face.

That is why I have always run – and I feel like I have only just begun on that journey.

Hi Steve, a tough decision but I am sure you have made the right one. As you point out you have developed so much as a runner throughout the past few months and no one can take that experience and gain away from you now. There are hundreds of marathons every year in the UK alone but you only have two knees. Are you able to defer your Paris place for next year? Have fun being the official bag carrier, we expect a minute by minute commentary from you!
Best wishes
H your lurker, one of a few I imagine....

I know this was a difficult decision for you and you have done everything you can to settle the knee to see if you can run but it was always going to be difficult from the last Bootcamp day.

It was obvious then that there was a problem within the joint, probably a tear in the meniscus but as it's been so reactive there may well be a bone bruise there too, the scan will tell the whole picture.

Running the marathon or trying to would a, have been a very painful unpleasant experience and b, would probably have caused some secondary problems that can take as long so settle if not longer than having surgery on the knee.

The good news is if it's a simple meniscal tear and you need an arthroscopy you can be running several weeks later. You will need to do some strengthening work but the rehab is fairly straight forward and you'll get back to running in no time.

Your body was telling you no and I'm sure you're very relieved though disapointed that the decision has been made.

You have been on a amazing journey and have proven to yourself that you can do and you will do, set yourself another goal and take all the knowledge from the experts to your next challenge that I know you will rise to.

Make sure you carry on telling us all about it as we all want to follow your recovery to bigger and better things.

Still enjoy the weekend as you have put so much work into it you can still enjoy the experience and atmosphere without the nerves!!!

Hi Steve, I'm really, really sorry to hear that you have made that decision but it was the only one to make............well done!

You will return stronger and fulfill your potential.

I have to say I feel flat on hearing this news and can't imagine how you must feel. It is definitely right to go to Paris. You'll have a great time even if tinged with sadness but the others will appreciate your support and I'm sure it'll give them one more reason to do well.

I know it has been a very tough decision for you, but I feel sure it is the right decision that you should never regret. Long term health and fitness is what gets most of us into running in the first place, and it is easy to lose sight of that when we chase a personal goal. You will bounce back strong and complete your marathon when you are ready.

It has been a pleasure following your (outstanding) progress and I'm sorry it hasn't turned out how you have hoped. Don't disappear from the forums, because there is still a lot that you can learn and a lot that you can give with the benefit of experience.

Sam has made a really good point and as PC91 indicates the support will be with you whether you run or do what would appear to be the sensible option at this stage.

Hi Ruth,

Think we may have cross posted! Thankfully I have chosen what you refer to as the 'sensible option' - I've been told off enough by you and Sam over the last few weeks

Regarding nutrition, just so you know, as Mel has had a bit of a stomach bug over the last few days I have heroically stepped into the breach and offered to carb load on her behalf. It seemed like the least I could do...

Can I also just take the opportunity now to say thank you for all your amazing advice throughout this competition - my diet has changed beyond all recognition and I make healthy choices now without really thinking about it. I have the remains of a bag of chips in the freezer that has been in there for weeks and weeks... this is pretty much unheard of. I don't eat perfectly but I'm always looking to improve

Hi Steve, a tough decision but I am sure you have made the right one. As you point out you have developed so much as a runner throughout the past few months and no one can take that experience and gain away from you now. There are hundreds of marathons every year in the UK alone but you only have two knees. Are you able to defer your Paris place for next year? Have fun being the official bag carrier, we expect a minute by minute commentary from you! Best wishes H your lurker, one of a few I imagine....

Hi H,

Thanks, it definitely feels like the right decision, despite how rubbish it feels... so that says a lot! You've hit the nail right on the head there - there are so many races ahead and it'd be a crime to throw all that away for the sake of one.

I know this was a difficult decision for you and you have done everything you can to settle the knee to see if you can run but it was always going to be difficult from the last Bootcamp day.

It was obvious then that there was a problem within the joint, probably a tear in the meniscus but as it's been so reactive there may well be a bone bruise there too, the scan will tell the whole picture.

Running the marathon or trying to would a, have been a very painful unpleasant experience and b, would probably have caused some secondary problems that can take as long so settle if not longer than having surgery on the knee.

The good news is if it's a simple meniscal tear and you need an arthroscopy you can be running several weeks later. You will need to do some strengthening work but the rehab is fairly straight forward and you'll get back to running in no time.

Your body was telling you no and I'm sure you're very relieved though disapointed that the decision has been made.

You have been on a amazing journey and have proven to yourself that you can do and you will do, set yourself another goal and take all the knowledge from the experts to your next challenge that I know you will rise to.

Make sure you carry on telling us all about it as we all want to follow your recovery to bigger and better things.

Still enjoy the weekend as you have put so much work into it you can still enjoy the experience and atmosphere without the nerves!!!

Hi Sarah,

Yes, strangely relieving to have made the decision... even if it is not the decision that I wanted to make!

Thanks for putting up with my continual texts and calls since the knee first flared up! Above and beyond the call of duty, I think

Hi Steve, I'm really, really sorry to hear that you have made that decision but it was the only one to make............well done!

You will return stronger and fulfill your potential.

I have to say I feel flat on hearing this news and can't imagine how you must feel. It is definitely right to go to Paris. You'll have a great time even if tinged with sadness but the others will appreciate your support and I'm sure it'll give them one more reason to do well.

I hope to catch up with you at a race or two once you are recovered.

Hi DS2,

Yes, it was the only sensible thing to do. Head versus heart can be quite a tough call sometimes... but, looking forward, there are so many races out there that to risk it all for one would be foolish at best!

I know it has been a very tough decision for you, but I feel sure it is the right decision that you should never regret. Long term health and fitness is what gets most of us into running in the first place, and it is easy to lose sight of that when we chase a personal goal. You will bounce back strong and complete your marathon when you are ready.

It has been a pleasure following your (outstanding) progress and I'm sorry it hasn't turned out how you have hoped. Don't disappear from the forums, because there is still a lot that you can learn and a lot that you can give with the benefit of experience.

Thanks Ten, and yes, it is definitely the right decision and I certainly don't have any regrets... I've come such a long way in such a short space of time.

It may not have turned out how I hoped this time but I've achieved more with my running in sixteen weeks than I had in the previous five years... ten years... so the future looks bright.

No regrets at all and it's been a pleasure to share it with everyone on here. I'd love to stick around on the forums and I'm also looking forward to actually venturing outside this thread, which has been rather time-consuming and enormous fun to keep on top of!

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