Bigots/owners of the Pilgrim Planet Lodge refused to allow a same-sex couple, Paula Knight and Jane Collison to occupy the same room. Ms Knight and Ms Collison are a same-sex couple.

According to local Taliban morals-police, Ms Karen Ruskin,

“Why do they assume that we have to change our standards, our values, to accommodate behaviour that is sodomy?This is our home, we are not a big motel. In our home, where our grandchildren are, where our guests are, we don’t want sodomy.”

Now, it occurs to me that Morals Enforcer, Ms Ruskin (and her husband – I assume they are a married heterosexual couple) seem to be a bit confused about basic biology and more specifically, human anatomy.

Sodomy requires at least one penis to be involved. I’m assuming (again) that neither Ms Knight or Ms Collison packed one with their toothpaste, spare knickers, and phone recharger?

So – no penis = no sodomy?

Point two. I hate to be the one to break it to the Christian Morality Commissars, Mr and Ms Ruskin – but it’s well known that heterosexual couples do engage in sodomy. At least one ‘member’ (*snigger*) of a heterosexual couple has the prerequisite anatomical appendage: a dick. (No, not Aaron Gilmore. Not this time.)

So – one penis = sodomy.

Now call me the government Minister in Charge of the Bleedin’ Obvious – but if Whangarei Wowser, Ms Ruskin (and her hubby, who also, I’m assuming once more, is in possession of a functioning penis) are so fixated on preventing sodomy from taking place under their roof – wouldn’t the appropriate policy be to ban all males from their Humble Heterosexual Hostel?

Kinda stands to reason, really.

Remember,

Penis = sodomy

No penis = no sodomy

So in reality, lesbian couples, single woman, post-op transgender-women, and eunochs – should all be welcomed guests.

Unfortunately for Mr Ruskin he’ll have to live in the garden shed. Remember, he’s got a penis. And people with penii (correct plural?) tend to get up to mischief. Like sodomy.

That’s the problem with religious (?) moralists who take it upon themselves to look after our morals and mind our business – they often don’t think things through properly.

Now, unfortunately, I can already hear a chorus of conservatives and (some) assorted right-wingers who will be bleating the old mantra,

“It’s their business – they should be able to do what they like!”

These are usually the same conservatives and assorted right-wingers who demand the abolition of the Treaty of Waitangi, asserting that there should be one law for all.

One law for all – except when right wingers and conservatives demand the right to discriminate against anyone for anything.

Back to the local agents for Moral Correctness – the Ruskins.

I guess I won’t be staying at their Happy Hotel for Hitched Heterosexuals. After all, I have a penis (or I did, last time I looked).

And considering the number of times various right wingers have urged me to “go fuck myself” over the years, the very real risk of me sodomising myself is worth considering.

So the Ruskins will be safe from my penis.

I bet they’re relieved.

Addendum

The Ruskins’ webpage promoting their motel doesn’t refer to a blanket ban on bumming (aka, sodomy), so I’ve taken the liberty of correcting that oversight,

This article, published in the American “National Journal”, is a must-read as to where the US has gone wrong – and by implication – has sucked New Zealand into their mistakes.

Pay close attention to the writers’ commenys on tax cuts and spending, as it applies to us, as well. This is possibly one of the most important and insightful commentaries yet to be written. It will grip you…

“The events of Sept. 11 have ultimately left us, 10 years later, with an economy and a strategic stature that no longer seem terribly awesome. America is still the sole superpower, but our invincible military is bogged down in two wasting wars, and poorly armed insurgents seem not to fear us. The rest of the world, beginning with China and Japan, now underwrites our vast indebtedness with barely concealed impatience. We are a nation downgraded by Wall Street, disrespected abroad, and defied even now by al-Qaida, whose leader was killed only recently after spending most of the decade taunting Washington. How did this happen?” – Read further…

(Acknowledgement to whoar.co.nz for bringing this excellent article to my attention.)

…Michele Bachmann signs pledge that says homosexuality is a choice – and that slavery was
better for Black Americans than living in the present.

(I sh*t you not.)

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Ms Bachman hit news headlines when she signed a “pledge” from some right-wing, christian fundamentalist organisation called “The Family Leader”. The pledge said, in part,

“To uphold the institution of marriage, the pledge states the following:

1. All forms of pornography should be banned. 2. Homosexuality is a choice, a health risk, and can be compared to polygamy or adultery. 3. Sex is better after marriage. 4. Sharia law should be rejected. 5. Better protection for women against prostitution and trafficking. The pledge also states:

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.”

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?!?!

So, Ms Bachman agrees with the proposition that life for Black slaves in the Southern States, was better than life for Black Americans now?! The rapes, the beatings, the killings, the forced labour, malnutrition, and splitting up families as individuals to be sold as slave-chattels – Ms Bachman thinks that that was ok?

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Why is it, I ask myself, that rightwing politicians inevitably make the most bizarre statements that leave us totally gobsmacked? Statements that, if we had uttered them as kids, our mums would tell us of for saying stupid things and send us to our rooms for a bit of “time out”?

My difficulty here is not that Ms Bachman has aligned herself with a fundamentalist group of religious fanatics that would make the Taliban quite happy – but that she is actually standing as a candidate, representing the US Republican Party, for the Presidential Elections next year?! Really? *blinks*

I hope she wins the nomination. No, I really do. Our American cuzzies – who I love dearly – would have a very clear, unambiguous choice to make in 2012. Of course, if Ms Bachman were to win I guess all those nutty doomsday scenarios for 2012 would come a step closer.

Another difficulty I had with this story; does it fit in my “International”category? Or more appropriately, under “Conspiracies and Other Very Weird Stuff”. ‘Cos really, folks, this is about as weird as it gets…

Candidate Bachman: promising a slave in every household if elected.

As for Ms Bachman agreeing to the proposition that “homosexuality is a choice“… I still can’t recall the moment in my life when I considered all the possible options for sexuality; read up on all the benefits/downsides; and then made a choice for a heterosexual orientation. I just can’t.