England vs Algeria (Some Concerns…)

After England kicked-off another tragic bid for World Cup glory with a demeaning draw against an apathetic America, there are some important points we are considering ahead of the team’s most important match since 2006:

1. Firstly, why is everyone giving Emile Heskey such a hard-time? The striker managed to kick the ball straight into the US goalkeeper’s hands with astonishing accuracy. The feat was even more impressive when you consider that he had to achieve this from much further than usual on account of his inability to break out of a jog.

2. Who is to blame for Clint Dempsey’s equaliser? England coach Fabio Capello has blamed the new ball, the pitch, aliens, the CIA, Heather Mills, BP and even Clint Dempsey himself for Robert Green’s cr*pness. Call us footballing half-wits but we thought it might have been the goalkeeper’s fault, we’re clearly mistaken because apparently the West Ham player is due to start again on Friday!

3. Why is Ledley King allowed to muck about in the hotel pool, while all the other players leg it about the training pitch? This is one of the most flagrant examples of favouritism we have ever seen in the work-place – and we’ve worked in the public sector. If Mr King spent a bit more time doing shuttle runs and a little less time on the ring flume, then maybe he wouldn’t be so ‘unfit’ all the time.

4. Who is Stephen Warnock?

5. After nearly a decade of reading about how Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard must not occupy the same area of the field (lest the universe implode) we were amazed to see them playing dangerously close to each other on Saturday night. Is this wise Mr Capello? We are hoping that Gareth Barry can keep them apart tonight..

Why has the ITV employed Andy Townsend as a TV Pundit, who seems to have no actual grasp of the game without stating the obvious.
The game was poor and Algeria diserved a point but being already anoyed Andt Townsend would then start to rip into the England side, which to me seems rather defeatist. But then again he wasn’t good enough to play for England so its probably sore grapes. Patrick Viera was more up beat than the entire commentry team.
As for the team selection, why oh why is Jamie Carragher playing? He is so slow and permently playing the Algerians on side. Mathew Upson got us through most of the Qualifies and is not even playing.
Glen Johnson was dire, no pace, no adventure, no nothing.
Heskey up front is a little contentous, but the last to games is the best he has played in years, but Peter Crouch has a better scoring record goals to games than both Rooney and Heskey, but is yet again a benchwarmer, until late in the game. Personally i would love to earn £6 million pound to select a team of slackers. my select would be:-
Joe Hart
Ashley Cole
John Terry
Mathew Upson
Glen Johnson (if fit-body and mind)
Joe Cole
Steven Gerrard
Gareth Barry
Frank Lampard
Aaron Lennon
Rooney/ Crouch