Gregg's pies now 'by Royal Appointment to HM The Queen'

Nicholas Whitchell, BBC royal correspondent (of whom Prince Charles once said, 'I loathe that man') said: 'I was indeed fortunate enough to ascertain from her Majesty her favourite bakery product. I asked her, 'Ma'am, may I be as daring as to ask why you have endorsed this particular confection? Her Majesty, with frank aristocraticality, replied: 'We love our Gregg's pies with a pint of Old Pleghmbury's, while watching those two shouty men on Celebrity Masterchef. Now piss off Ginger.'

'It was humbling to know that Royal teeth had bitten through what is mostly known as a common person's snack,' said Whitchell.

Gregg's is expected to make a new Coronation Chicken, Ham, Lard and Salt Lattice Pasty to celebrate the award.