It happens, I understand that.Especially when we encounter not so nice and rather rude disrespectful people.

I do my best to turn the other cheek as they say, sometimes though, especially when it is internalized anger toward my me, I truly do not know what to do with it. I clean, my house other than vacuuming is, well, spotless, yet again. Funny thing, I do not hurt one bit while in one of these rages. This type of outburst and no pain episodes generally occur only when I am angry with myself, I seem to need to be utterly pissed off at self.

I will figure it out, I truly hope I will any way. :)

I have also recently discovered, I have been more and more capable and able to stand up for myself. I am able to stand up for friends and those less capable than myself pretty much my whole life. Standing up for myself though is not something I could manage. In just the last 2 weeks I have been able to tell friends and family and a couple neighbors that I need them to leave me be so that I could take some me time. It is a scary thing and very difficult for me to hold this in my short term memory. I will get this skill in my long term memory, I will recognize that I can and am capable of saying No and No thank you and Not right now without feeling like I am having a root canal without the benefit of anesthesia.

I think that is enough for today.I hope all who read this are well and doing better each day on their independent roads to self happy.