Thursday, June 28, 2007

I have these three major plans in my life now and I just can't tell it to anyone. Yeah, it sucks because I don't have the power or strength to tell it because I want to keep to myself first. And if the time comes that I am ready to tell it to them then let it be.

Plan #1 has been surrounding my mind these past few weeks. There was a starting point but I don't know how to stand or how to begin. I don't know if the initial information is true or is valid reason for me not to pursue it. Should I try? Or I should just keep it to myself forever. I always felt like this something before but I just can't directly discuss it nor give it a shot. Whew, I just hope that I will have the right time at the right place... but when and where?

Plan #2 seems to be the easiest. Actually I just don't know if I should do it because the thing that will be left behind is something that made me feel that I am important, that I am useful and needed. Should I just turn back on them and see other probable environment that will make me more comfortable or should I stay on that "thing" and continue with the flow and enjoy the benefits and fulfillment that it gives to me?

Plan #3 seems to be the hardest. I will miss all the things that I used to for over three years. Should I just throw all those memories and bring it to this "ultimate plan"? I know this plan will give me a lot of aches and hardships at the start but who knows what it will bring me to the end. It is something that really needs a responsible and quality decision. But I think I will pursue the initial step on this.

Living like this sometimes makes me feel that there is something that is missing. I just can't explain what it is but I am looking forward to discover it by myself. I just need to see the path on where should I step on.