She says she's gone to Italy for her birthday. I text her today asking has she landed no reply. Sent another text no reply. Rang three times (hours apart) no reply.

I'm drunk and feeling very insecure. I always feel like shit with this girl. Like she could be fucking some Italian stud. She just makes me feel like shit and has been distant lately and not wanted to see me.

I hate u. Cos I love u. But I can't love u because I hate u. Grr

Should I just dump her? I mean I'm not even sure she is in Italy, she could be In Ireland fucking her ex for all I know. But u would think she would answer her phone.

I've never felt so bad in my life, I got more depressed the drunker (sic?) I got but this is terrible. I want her because she's really beautiful and great ot talk to, I would probably never do better...but she's so distant and doesn't answer the phone etc. Advice?

Gold Member

Get sober first then ask yourself the same questions again. Jealously is a killer of relationships and if you can't find a way to overcome this insecurity, it will eat you alive. Has she given you any real reason to be jealous or are you just afraid because she's beautiful?

She says she's gone to Italy for her birthday. I text her today asking has she landed no reply. Sent another text no reply. Rang three times (hours apart) no reply.

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Even with international roaming set up, her phone may not be able to work on an Italian network. She may not discover any of your attempts to contact her that way until she's back within a coverage area.

Gold Member

Even with international roaming set up, her phone may not be able to work on an Italian network. She may not discover any of your attempts to contact her that way until she's back within a coverage area.

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Amazing how dependent relationships are on cell towers now :biggrin1:

Dude, what time is it over there? You drunk now? Finish off the night and sleep on it. No rash moves to dump her. Looks better if she was really in Italy and the tower near her was down, and she doesn't come back home to you freaking out.

Dude, don't let these thoughts get the best of you. You can't fall in to that rut, it just sucks. Take advantage of the time while she's gone to get some things done, call a friend and have lunch or whatever. Some people don't like to be crowded too much and its healthy for you both to have time apart to cultivate relationships with friends and family. You have to be you and do for you and she does too. You can plan a nice dinner when she gets back. Don't worry! Let her call you now since you've text's her already. Trust me, don't be like a wet blanket. I don't know your exact situation, but you will be fine no sense in driving yourself crazy, its counter productive.
Confidant guys are sexy and hot, play it cool. I would for sure just let her call you.

[FONT=&quot]It may be best to sober up before thinking too much, as drunken thoughts and rational thoughts are rarely one and the same, but if she makes you feel shitty I dont think there is too much to ponder.
[/FONT]

Only thing I would add is don't try to contact her again until she contacts you. Tell her you assumed her phone didn't work over there (and it very well may not unless a) she has a GSM 3/4 phone and b) she has international coverage on her account and c) she has some way to charge it using the adapters and converters necessary. Trying to continually contact her will make you look insecure.

And don't ever decide anything while you're drunk. Use this time apart to evaluate yourself and improve those things you're not happy with.

I think you're being a little insecure, Paul.
There could be all sorts of reasons why she doesn't answer your calls or messages.
Her phone may simply be out of range, as Alex notes.
She may have lost the phone.
There are any number of possibilities.
You say you're often feeling insecure, but you don't say she's ever given you actual reason to worry.
The mind plays tricks -- and we need to learn not to listen to them.

Gold Member

She's on vacation bro, shes not supposed to answer the phone. Let her relax and have a good time. And just in case she was fucking her x in ireland, or some italian stud, be ready to hit that like you never have when she gets back! Show her what she missed while in Italy!

Okay thanks...its just my mates were joking last night 'she's in Italy? Yeah that's what she tells you' :tongue:

But I don't actually know she went to Italy...she could have gone to Ireland to see her ex...she said she was doing that before 'to test me'. I'll talk to her when she gets back I guess. I thought there would be no problem calling international but I recall now that texts can take a day or so to arrive...

We shall see. And its not that I feel shit when I'm with her its when I'm not there and I haven't seen her for nearly three weeks! So the shit is building up...and I'm not really attracted to her...its like I don't like her because she has no time for me...strange? Yes.

Anyways thanks people. Its just it was a bad night last night. Lots of drinking and we had a curry. My shit was yellow this morning :biggrin1: lol.

She says she's gone to Italy for her birthday. I text her today asking has she landed no reply. Sent another text no reply. Rang three times (hours apart) no reply.

I'm drunk and feeling very insecure. I always feel like shit with this girl. Like she could be fucking some Italian stud. She just makes me feel like shit and has been distant lately and not wanted to see me.

I hate u. Cos I love u. But I can't love u because I hate u. Grr

Should I just dump her? I mean I'm not even sure she is in Italy, she could be In Ireland fucking her ex for all I know. But u would think she would answer her phone.

I've never felt so bad in my life, I got more depressed the drunker (sic?) I got but this is terrible. I want her because she's really beautiful and great ot talk to, I would probably never do better...but she's so distant and doesn't answer the phone etc. Advice?

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i sometimes get like this when i'm drunk (which is too often to be sensible or healthy) and i've started to use the mentality that "i wouldn't cheat on her, so she wouldn't cheat on me." it sounds a bit shitty, but it always makes me feel better, especially after 10 pints when my thinking is a bit .... foggy.

p.s. christmas party with work tonight, im going to the pub at 3pm. I'll report back tomorrow at how messy it got.

I don't see how she was making you feel like shit. She went to Italy, and probably has no service on her phone, and you got paranoid and start imagining her having sex with some other guy. How is that her fault? If you always practice this kind of blame-shifting I sort of feel sorry for her if/when you two ever get into an argument over the relationship. To me that's what stuck out most in your original post. Over and over again you were placing all responsibility in her lap... and this when she's not even around to do anything to you.

and your friends sound like jerks, too. Do they have any reason to believe that she's cheating on you? Or are they just trying to get under your skin for shits and giggles?

Gold Member

I'm drunk and feeling very insecure. ...she could be fucking some Italian stud.
I mean I'm not even sure she is in Italy, she could be In Ireland fucking her ex for all I know.

I want her because she's really beautiful and great to talk to, I would probably never do better... Advice?

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I agree with Bliss. You need to sober up. It doesn't make any sense that you should dump her because she can pull other men with her beauty. Your insecurity will drive her away if you aren't careful. Wait patiently for her to return and rejoice when you see her again.

I think you're insecure, too. She's your girl, right? What do you have to worry about? She'll be faithful; if not, then she doesn't deserve to be your girl anyway, so good riddance. Either way, you'd win.

VerifiedGold Member

maybe her phone might not even be working in Italy. Some phones dont work, bad service. I was in Europe this summer, 4 countries. Some areas had no service and you gotta have a quad or tri band phone for it to even work. Dont jump to conclusions. get your mind off things and go fuck other women if u really think she is fuckin around. relieve that stress