To be miffed at not being invited to SIL's wedding

Genuinely interested in what you have to say about this as I can't work out whether this is rude or not.

DH gets an email this morning from his DS letting him know she is marrying her DP of 18yrs in a few months at a 'v.v.small ceremony', basically registry office followed by drinks and cake at home. They are each inviting their parents and two other people. She is inviting DH and a friend, so not me and not our two DCs.

I realize it's fairly normal not to invite children to weddings, but is it not common courtesy to invite spouses of close family to your wedding, particularly if they have invited you to their wedding? AIBU to think this is a bit rude?

Oh, and as an aside, ILs currently know nothing about this, they will find out tomorrow morning when the invite arrives in the post - SIL has not even told them she is engaged!!

Given how small the guest list is YABU. She'll wish they just invited their parents if you moan. Just be glad for her and wish her well. Coomon courtesy is irrelevent if you're only inviting 4 people each.

YABU - it's her party. It would be generous of you to invite her and her new dh over sometime soon to celebrate their wedding - I think that given the size of their wedding it would be hard for her not to offend somebody.

My sister didn't invite my dh and my dcs to her wedding. This was because it was very small and very emotional as bil had been diagnosed as terminally ill. We have 4 eldery relatives important to all of us and she asked them, her best friend and partner, bil's children and partners, bil's brother and spouse and my parents and me. When an elderly relative couldn't come due to ill health dh was promoted to the list POint was it was her wedding and she could ask him or not as she chose. All any of us wanted was for them to have the best day they could. YABU. This is a small wedding. Small means you don't get to invite everybody. If she was having 100 guests and not you then yes you could be miffed.

It's incredibly rude. The tiny guest list is of her own choosing presumably; most homes are big enough to accommodate more than ten people, however much of a squeeze it may be. Why not just hire the function room of the local pub, rather than tell her brother he's invited but his wife isn't?

"It's their day" yes can't argue with that. But why choose to make it a divisive occasion? They are celebrating their own coupledom but choosing not to recognise same of their sibling. I think it's unnecessarily divisive. Just have the parents if its got to be so small.