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‘Gun TV’ Shopping Channel Hopes To Profit Off Ammosexual Obama Haters

What a pain in the butt it is when you’re sitting in front of your TV at 2 a.m. and suddenly get the burning desire to buy a semiautomatic weapon. What to do? All the local gun shops are closed! Talk about an existential crisis for an ammosexual. Dammit, this is ‘Murica, and we should be able to buy a weapon of mass destruction 24/7!

Well fear not, gun fanatics, because a new shopping channel has you covered.

GunTV, aka GTV Live Shopping will launch in January 2016 with 24 hours of programming designed to appeal to the gun freaks who have a deep-seated need to watch guns being sold every hour of the day. GunTv’s slogan:“Live Shopping. Fully Loaded.”

Yeah, because that’s just what we need in this country: More nutbags with more guns.

“The goal of GunTV, which also uses the name GTV Live Shopping, is to expand to a 24/7 lineup in its first year but will start at first with a 1 to 5 a.m. schedule that includes more than four hours of shopping opportunities.

“The firearms shopping channel was envisioned to appeal to gun companies, who wanted a new venue to advertise their products, and in response to what co-founder Valerie Castle of Rancho Mirage, Calif., called a nationwide ‘love affair with shooting sports.’”

See, you won’t actually be able to buy guns off the TV, but GunTV will show off guns to their viewers, take orders over the phone, and then set up delivery of those guns to a local gun shop. Then gun fetishists can show up and take their firearm home for their own personal enjoyment and mayhem.

Now you might think this is a bad idea, but the death merchants at GunTV have thought of everything and want you to know:

“[Valerie] Castle, the GunTV co-founder, insisted the network’s 24-hour format would allow viewers a deeper understanding of the weapons they purchase. She added that in every hour of programming 3 minutes will be dedicated to firearm education and safety training.”

Three minutes! Oh wow! Did the NRA sign off on this excessive talk of safety and education? They’re not exactly known for stressing anything but getting as many weapons as possible.

So now we know that we truly do live in the greatest country in the world, where psychopaths and wannabe soldiers can sit in their recliners and peruse guns day and night as they delight in the freedom afforded by a Constitution most of them have never read.