Girls And Technology

A Guide To Modern Dating

A New York Times trend piece from January titled “The End of Courtship?” was exactly what a New York Times trend piece usually is: mostly correct, but sort of obvious, and about six months too late on the issue. Like, did you know that we don’t really go on dates anymore but merely, “hang out”? That’s right.

The article outlines out How Millennials Date Now, and it mostly thinks the way they do is bad. The days of “I’ll pick you up at 8:00 on Friday night” are long over for many, as now we can just text each other on a whim and say “Yo, sup? Wanna meet up?” The old Seinfeld bit comparing a date to a job interview hasn’t changed. Dates are weird, awkward endeavors, and we are mostly over them. You used to meet a girl and then you’d perhaps go on a date or get a drink and get to know her. Now the first date happens on social media. As such, here is a handy guide to navigating this steaming pile of texts, Facebook messages, tweets and Instagram likes.

Texts

We drive ourselves completely crazy trying to decode these messages. There are even entire websites dedicated to doing so.So pop quiz, hot shot: You get a girl’s phone number. What do you do? You text her, right? You probably throw out a "feeler." Something like:

"Hey! I had fun last night."

"Yeah, me too!"

"LOLZ"

"We should hang out sometime and get a drink or whatever."

Now, I’m not going to tell you that texting is bad, but, like anything, there is a time and a place for it. There is a reason we don’t want to call anyone anymore. It’s an awkward ordeal. Texting is noncommittal.

You hear whispers of women wanting men to be more forward, but when many men (including me) try this, it often comes off as too aggressive. I asked a friend of mine about guys calling rather than texting, and she said it is indeed very much appreciated — if she is interested. She further explained, “I’m usually looking for casual, so I don’t agree to dates sometimes because I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.”

All of this, of course, depends on what kind of person she is and who you are — a call might be the thing that gets you the date. You are among a dying breed; you stand out from the rest. There is no hard and fast rule. If you have successfully managed to 1) get a date and 2) have a great time on said date, what do you do? You must ask yourself: "Do I text her?" Again, this is not as simple as you would think. Some will say that, yes, throwing out a quick text after you drop her off at her place is kind of a cool move, especially if you know you both had a great time. But some will tell you this is too needy, too much. Just know that you had a good time and throw her a text the next day if you must.