Susan Senator

All happy families are not alike...

Leo Tolstoy once wrote, “Happy families are all alike; unhappy families are
all different in their own way.” Tolstoy was wrong, especially when it
comes to atypical families. My family is very different from a lot of
families; yet I would say we are happy.

My oldest son Nat, now in his twenties, has severe autism. My other two
sons, Max and Ben, do not. Autism has provided a certain shape to our
family structure; things have been very difficult for us, and yet autism is
not a death sentence. Autism is not the end of the world; just the end of
one kind of world.

My experiences with autism have run the gamut — an entire spectrum’s worth
of changes in viewpoint. We are still, as a family, a work in progress.
Sometimes we have it down; sometimes we are lost again. But one thing we
are is a strong family, not defined by autism, but greatly affected by it,
negatively and positively. Tolstoy was not right; come find out why.

I have also written an autism family novel: Dirt: A Story
About Gardening, Mothering, and Other Messy Business. This book is a
family tale, of a couple’s impending divorce and their three sons. The
rocky marriage, the oldest boy’s severe autism, the resulting sibling
problems, drug abuse, and above all, love all intertwine in this story —
with gardening in between. Writing Dirt was an escape for me, a pleasure, a
hobby, and yet, imagining the characters of the three sons took me deep
into their hearts and minds and in a strange way helped me understand them
better. Or so I think. In any case, Dirt is a fun and moving novel of
family struggle, relationships, and growth.