So, you are following an ongoing manga for some years (four or five, something like that), all this time thinking it's a gag manga, satirical and overly wordy at times but a really enjoyable and unique one nonetheless.

Then you learn that it will end in about ten chapters. While it's a bit sad, you understand that nothing lasts forever and all good things come to an end, and that the manga has been running long enough, so the author should be running out of ideas by now (besides, the chapters are kind of one-pattern, so reading through a couple hundreds of them in one go might be very tiring). Okay, so you're looking forward to seeing how the author is going to wrap up the story.

And boy, does he wrap up.

In the last four chapters the manga goes DEEP. As in MARIANA TRENCH DEEP. The 30-volume comedy story dishes out such a twist that it blows your mind like a fucking nuclear bomb. But that's not all. The real awesome (or horror?) begins when you start recalling the early volumes and realise that it's not an ass-pull and that the hints to that twist have been ALL OVER THE PLACE since the SECOND GODDAMN CHAPTER.

IN A MANGA THAT HAS BEEN RUNNING FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

You just didn't understand what they meant. Because you weren't expecting THAT in any way. So you're just sitting there, trying to piece back together your ruthlessly shattered brain and to comprehend the sheer scale of foreshadowing in both manga and anime (openings and endings mostly - they are LITTERED with hints!) and failing miserably at both.

That's pretty much how I feel after reading the 300th chapter of Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei. There is still one more chapter left (and hopefully some kind of tankobon bonus later as well), and I'm afraid to even imagine what it can hold in store for us.

But I've got to hand it to you, Kumeta-sensei - you are one glorious bastard and fucking genius.

Does anyone even read all that shit I post here? XDNot that I care though. Just... need to write all that somewhere.

A certain person asked me some time ago: "Have you changed over last 3-5 years?" and I said no. But apparently it was not true at all, only I wasn't quite aware of the fact at that time. I did change, and pretty considerably. Because, if I didn't then why would I go and delete almost four years worth of old posts in my @diary? I looked at all the stupid and useless things I had written and I hated the dumb and embarrassing person I had been back then. So I got rid off all that - because I am not her anymore. She is in the past, and so is everything she did and said and everyone she met and parted with. I don't want it to haunt me and linger and all that.Maybe I'm just a coward. But i'm 0k with that.

So. Last months I've spent going through a major Final Fantasy rebound. It all started on December 9, when they announced Laguna for Dissidia 012 [Duodecim]. I was like ASKDLFGSKTSOMGYAY for a whole week. And I realized that actually Laguna (and not Squall) is my most favourite character in Final Fantasy series. Well, along with Vivi =3Then it got worse XDLaguna's seiyuu was announced, and it being Hirata Hiroaki didn't help one bit. I whipped out my emulator and japanese FFVIII and replayed EVERY SCENE with Laguna in it (good thing I had saves). Cue lots of joyful tears. God, I literally heard every Laguna's line with Hirata's voice, and that was totally awesome.Oh, and then came Jump Festa with its trailer. I DIED. Of sheer happiness. Just a couple of lines, but oh so much fangirl fuel. I rewatched it dozens of times. His dialogue with Squall and then him going Desperado in full CG at the end of the trailer... INFINITE FANGASM.And as if THAT wasn't enough already, a gaming spree kicked in. So I first played FFV in Japanese, then FFVI in Japanese and now I'm playing FFIX. In Japanese, of course. And God, this is sooo nostalgic and awesome T^T Maybe I should even play FFVII in Japanese after that, hmmm.BTW, I'm playing FFIX in Japanese for the sole purpose of finding out what the line "No cloud, no squall shall hinder us" looks like in original. Yep, that's the main reason. Seriously.Anyways, I've been a fan of Final Fantasy series for ten years already, and I hope for at least three times more *v*Ah, speaking of gaming. I've played Yume Nikki recently. Damn, that thing is chock full of weird and scary stuff. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. Seccom Masada-sensei is my favourite there. He's so sad and lonely, I just want to hug the poor fellow T_T I heard many players killed him repeatedly trying to trigger the crash-landing event, but I simply couldn't bring myself to stab this guy. He sheepishly backs away when you approach him with a knife, and I just went "Awww T^T" and gave it up. And apparently it's not necessary to kill him at all (at least I got the event anyway). So stop murdering him for nothing, you bastards! XD

Yeah... So, as you know, I've spent two weeks in hospital. Had a pilonidal cyst/sacrococcygeal fistula/whatever it's called (in Russian it's "эпителиальный копчиковый ход") removed. My luck with stitches sucks big time, because apparently I got them removed (by doctors, mind you) too early, so now I have a wound 3 inches long and an inch deep between my buttocks. And I'm not allowed to sit properly until it heals well enough. Fun fact - about six or seven years ago I had a nevus removed on my left arm, and I had stitches which were removed too early, and now I have a scar about two times the size of a nevus I had =\ Quality treatment alright.On the bright side, I always get such nice ward-mates. I had two during this "stay", both were twice older than me, quite plump, but incredibly kind and caring. Oh, and I had an operation in that same hospital in May and also got a nice ward-mate during that time. They had children about my age, so I think that's why they acted so motherly towards me.Anyway, I'm home now and that's what matters XD

Haaah... Tomorrow is my B-Day, but I have to go to hospital - I have an operation due on Tuesday. So I'll spend about a week there, if not more. Gonna get up early to get to hospital in time.Ugh.Hospitals are kinda hate =_= Well, at least I know what to expect, so it's not scary. Though coming to after general anaesthesia is a pain.

So, Veiden is now determined to grow a mullet. Well, it's already down to the middle of his shoulder blades and man, does he look hot *q* Ah, don't want to sound like a creepy incestophiliac, though XD Which I really am, but don't tell anyone.Anyways! LOLHeroes today are going to provide some particularly delicious ear-candy =9 Aaah, FukuJun's screaming, I just can't wait... It's just... It's... It's aural sex. I must be a sadist, enjoying when my favourite characters suffer and scream in pain and agony.Okay! Now on to some readings and translations!

It's too hot here =_= I want to hide in the fridge.My bro is in the sanatorium now, my best friend has guests from another city, so I've been pretty much abandoned. Oh well. Hope I'll at least get the promised fanart of Kubinashi before my fan-spree ends =_=Summer anime season is alright, though it's kinda "FUKUYAMA JUN EVERYWHERE!!!11". Not that I have anything against this, I love FukuJun's voice acting =3 But he's in three of the five shows I'm watching so it's a bit... uh, disturbing? In a good way XD Also, Ono Daisuke, Sakurai Takahiro and Koyasu Takehito are there as well, which is nice.

Sometimes I want my own room so badly. But then again, at times I think "Nah, I'm cool with what I have." And what I have is a table in parents' room and half the bed in Granny's room. Oh, and a shelf in the wardrobe for my underpants and such. On the other hand, Veiden is in practically the same situation, we both don't own separate rooms. Well... I think, we should value what we do have.