Friday, February 13, 2009

It's Friday the 13th. Today the overhyped reimagining is released. I should be reviewing that soon. But alot of fans weapon up when you bring up the question which Friday is the best. Part 2? Part 6? Original?

I have always thought Part 3 is the best. It's classic, taking the legend in the first 2 and adding more.

The thing about the Fthe13th films is you have to grade them on a curve. They should include the following:

1.) Jason Voorhees (or his mom)2.) High body count with clever and gruesome deaths3.) Nudity! Nudity! Nudity!4.) An ending with a twist or a clever plot device or a reference that a sequel will be made

Lets begin with #1. This is Jason in his purest form. He's not a zombie yet. He's a pissed off, inbred, disfigured redneck momma's boy bent on killing anybody who comes to Crystal Lake.

#2 is fulfilled from some of the scenes below. Stab mouths, pitchfork to the neck, ocular trauma, shower scene and standing on your hands jackass deaths, slashed throats, hot poker through the stomach and pure machete carnage.

Ahh #3. Good amount, just enough to get what you need.

And finally #4, that ending that homages the original. Jason gets noosed (or so you think!) then hatcheted in the head (like Harry Potter, he keeps the hatchet scar throughout the series), but still keeps on truckin. His body lays motionless in the last final shot.....

So on to the list.The Jaded Viewer's Top 5 Scenes in Friday the 13th: Part 3

5.) 3D Opening Credits and Gratuitous Yo Yo (tie)

Why it kicks ass: The credits are as 3D ocean of coolness. And as most of Part 3 has gratuitous 3D (popcorn, stoners etc) , it's the yo yo that seems the most gratuitous in the entire movie.

Opening Credits

Gratuitous Yo Yo

4.) Jason unmasks and becomes the unkillable slasher we all love

Why it kicks ass: We finally get a nice clean shot of an unmasked Jason. He survives the hanging, grabs his trademark machete, kills the biker brotha and then gets HATCHETED right in the head by final girl Chris.

3.) Mrs Voorhees gets her revenge

Why it kicks ass: An homage to the original you saw coming a mile away. It's a dream sequence but its fuckin fitting.

2.) 3D Ocular Trauma

Why it kicks ass: This is the best 3D effect in the entire movie. Actually it's best scene in the entire movie. Jason squeezes Rick's head popping out his eyeball in glorious 3D. One of the best ocular trauma's of all time.

1.) He gets the hockey mask

Why it kicks ass: It's a historical moment. We see Jason in the hockey mask for the first time after killing clown ass Shelly. He shoots Vera with a spear gun, drops the spear gun non chalantly and walks away. Fuckin perfect.

(Here's a complete video of all the kills from Part 3 as an extra bonus)

I hear the remake has a few scenes honoring Parts 1-4 with the spear gun being the most prominent. Will this version be better than Part 3?

I don't fuckin think so. Part 3 works on so many levels.It's awesome in 2D and becomes more awesomer in 3D. There is no Corey Feldman, or fake Jason or psychic girl, or Uber Jason or Jason body jumping. Part 3 is Jason Voorhees in his purest form. Unstoppable killer, king of all slashers.