Sociological research! Sometimes it involves staring at women's chests. Indeed, a recent study of 128 heterosexual Polish men has divined that fellows who are less interested in long-term relationships are more enthused by larger breasts.

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Participants were asked to rate 15 pictures of bosoms of varying sizes from three different angles ("front view, oblique view, and side view"). And what did the researchers find? All you "breast men" are unmitigated dirtbags.

Behold the scintillatingly erotic prose from the findings of "Female Breast Size Attractiveness for Men as a Function of Sociosexual Orientation (Restricted vs. Unrestricted)":

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Large breasts received higher attractiveness ratings from men who scored high on the SOI-R [Revised Sociosexual Orientation Inventory] than from men who scored relatively low. This means that men who tend to engage in short-term, low-commitment relationships (unrestricted men) are more attracted to large breast sizes than men who tend to engage in long-term relationships with high emotional commitment (restricted men) (Simpson & Gangestad, 1991).

Our results were analogous with those obtained by Swami et al. (2008) for WHR and BMI. In their study, unrestricted men rated females with low BMI and low WHR significantly more attractive than restricted men did, but both groups did not radically differ in their preferences. In our study, both restricted and unrestricted men rated sizes C and D the most attractive and the smallest sizes the least attractive, regardless of the viewing angle. Large sizes, however, were rated higher by unrestricted than restricted men.

The study even managed to dismiss the wiles of sideboob — "breast presented in oblique view were rated generally higher than in side view." You can read the full study at the Archives of Sexual Behaviour. Please note that the only curves you'll find are located on X and Y axes.

NOTE: Headline is dedicated to my grandmother Ethel, who had a penchant for colorful euphemisms.