Could I ask you seriously to do a reading for me? I've always wanted to know what my future holds.

Sure thing honey. Just tell me what you want to know. Each question is a separate reading and I can do as many as you like

One of the questions I wouldn't ask is "Will my crappy undies ever be clean?" (as if they ever were)

1. My health is a major problem for me and I would like to know if it will improve ~ we're talking mental issues here.2. I don't know if this can be answered but: Is my Dad at peace where he is?3. Will my finances improve?

Okay I will get onto those questions for you and send the answers toyour hotmail account.

Flower, gleam and glowLet your power shineMake the clock reverseBring back what once was mineHeal what has been hurtChange the fates' designSave what has been lostBring back what once was mineWhat once was mine.......

Society, exactly as it now exists is the ultimate expression of sadomasochism in action.<br />-boyd rice-<br />On the screen, there\\\'s a death and the rustle of cloth; and a sickly voice calling me handsome...<br />-Nick Cave-

I grew up in a woods and we had a wood burning stove so I did a fair amount of cutting wood when I was a kid/youth. Yesterday I cut down a 7 truncked (very split open/branchy) 25foot tall tree that was within about 20 feet of clearance between my neighbors pines and my power lines (maybe only 15ft up) which the tree was leaning over. My equipment - ladder, rope, bowsaw, pruning saw, loppers. An addept reader would notice the lack of a chainsaw. This was a slow process involving cutting a wedge out of the non-powerline side of the tree, tying a rope to it, and slightly counter-cutting it followed by pulling the tree with the rope. I didn't want to go to fast but I would like to mention that I got the tree down without damaging my neighbors pines (ok, not too much, nothing she will notice) or ending up in the newspaper under the heading "local idiot knocks out power to town".

I must say I'm pretty impressed with some of the car knowledge on this board. I must admit I'm not that good at cars (e.g. I know how they work but I don't have the various engines, models, etc. memorized). My dad couldn't pass this test for Fords but he could for VW's and porshe's (he's a huge fan of German cars and used to run a shop as a side job where he would work on them, this was back in the 70's/80's when he was the only guy in town who had a set of metric wrenches). He actually told me last weekend

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The only difference between zombies and toddlers is one is cuter than the other.

Ouch, midsentence posting and posted... as I was saying: My dad told me last weekend (with tears in his eyes) he has to buy an American SUV for his next car because he's having trouble getting into the cars he used to as he's getting older.

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The only difference between zombies and toddlers is one is cuter than the other.

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This reminds me of a popular insult from when I was a teenager. YOU COULD GREASE A FRYING PAN WITH THAT FACE. Of course, I would never say such a thing to you. Mostly because you'd probably kill me with a voodoo doll or something.

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This reminds me of a popular insult from when I was a teenager. YOU COULD GREASE A FRYING PAN WITH THAT FACE. Of course, I would never say such a thing to you. Mostly because you'd probably kill me with a voodoo doll or something.

It'd be more fun to tease her for not being able to tread water anyways. "What's the matter? Aren't you FAT like the rest of us? You can't float, can you? Oh, you haven't eaten 6 slices of cheesecake every day for the last year, have you? Your beer-gut is pathetically small. What's the matter, is your cholesterol level within acceptable parameters? What's the matter, are you staying healthy because you're afraid of Heart Disease?"

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Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This reminds me of a popular insult from when I was a teenager. YOU COULD GREASE A FRYING PAN WITH THAT FACE. Of course, I would never say such a thing to you. Mostly because you'd probably kill me with a voodoo doll or something.

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This reminds me of a popular insult from when I was a teenager. YOU COULD GREASE A FRYING PAN WITH THAT FACE. Of course, I would never say such a thing to you. Mostly because you'd probably kill me with a voodoo doll or something.

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

Oddly enough, there IS a record for longest nipple hair. I saw it online, went and measured mine, and found mine were just as long as the record holder's. Someone has since beaten the record, so now I just have world-class nipple hair, not world-record nipple hair. Is that something I should really post online?

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"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

This isn't something I can DO really, but I think I have the oiliest skin in the world. I tried looking it up to see if there was a record for it and I couldn't find one. I don't think anyone wants to record these things.

This reminds me of a popular insult from when I was a teenager. YOU COULD GREASE A FRYING PAN WITH THAT FACE. Of course, I would never say such a thing to you. Mostly because you'd probably kill me with a voodoo doll or something.

It'd be more fun to tease her for not being able to tread water anyways. "What's the matter? Aren't you FAT like the rest of us? You can't float, can you? Oh, you haven't eaten 6 slices of cheesecake every day for the last year, have you? Your beer-gut is pathetically small. What's the matter, is your cholesterol level within acceptable parameters? What's the matter, are you staying healthy because you're afraid of Heart Disease?"

Oddly enough, there IS a record for longest nipple hair. I saw it online, went and measured mine, and found mine were just as long as the record holder's. Someone has since beaten the record, so now I just have world-class nipple hair, not world-record nipple hair. Is that something I should really post online?

Are we talking hair as in plural, or a single hair? This is quite a claim, Derf. I think we need a picture of you holding a ruler up to your nipple hair as proof.