Author: BT

We all come to this world as someone’s child, grow up to the adulthood and become someone’s life partner. We become someone’s parent and as the time passes, we become a grand parent. And if lucky enough, some of us even become great grandparent.

It used to be a social tradition and is still common in some countries that the grandparents live together with the rest of the family. This commonly is called a joint family culture. But as the world is changing, the social customs are also different these days. Many grandparents today languish in nursing homes or retirement communities while their children and grandchildren live far away. This has created a huge generation gap and the children these days rarely understand the importance of the role of grandparents in their life. If well managed, both the grand child and the grand parents can be of each others source of knowledge and company.

”A Pilgrim close by is neglected”

In the modern world, the parents are more busy with their daily routines. The lack of care that child gets from the parents can be fulfilled by the grandparents. Who, on the other hand may be lonely and need someone to share the retirement of their life. In fact, grandchildren can learn a lot from the grandparents through all the experiences they may have encountered throughout their life.

I am one of those fortunate children who has spent the precious moments with the grandparents. Specially my grandfather had a very close bond with me. He was the person who taught me to walk this earth, speak the first word and even eat. Because i spent first four years of my life with my grand father.

The bond broke the day I left Nepal at the age of four and went to Calcutta a city in India to live with my parents. The environment was different and the society as well. There I learnt the common language Bengali and Hindi. I become nostalgic when I remember about those days that I used to collect my then friends who belonged to the poor neighborhood and used to bring them home for food. All I learnt there was the language because I used to spend most of my time with them. This effected me a lot when later at the age of nine I returned back to Nepal.

This time the language and the culture and even the society was different to me. I had a huge difficulty in understanding Nepali language in the school. And my grandfather was the one to help me get through this. Again, this time also he was the one to teach me to talk, read and write. He used to separate a part of his meal and save for me. Run after me hours just to feed me home produced pure honey. In another hand, I hated honey. But he never gave up. It was all because he wanted to make me healthy by feeding such foods. When i used to be sick and refused to take medicines, he used to wrap those medicines in some kind of sweet like rolls so that i get distracted from the medicine and eat it along with those rolls.

The day I completed School, he was the happiest person in my family. It was a huge celebration day when I returned home from School with a certificate in my hand. He had gathered some of his friends and neighbors and were waiting for me. I was welcomed with flowers and Abir (A traditional red colored powder used to honor someone). He was always part of every important moment of my life in those days.

After the School I moved to the capital city Kathmandu for further studies. Totally new environment and strange for me. After all those years of village life and suddenly in the city environment was really difficult for me. As I used to be a decent child brought up in a family with harsh financial conditions, I knew nothing about the city cultures and the way of life. I remember very well that, it used to be chilling cold weather in Kathmandu and my grandfather was in the city to see me. Quickly realizing the situation, he took off his coat and left it for me so that I could use it to keep myself warm while out in that weather condition.

Me on the other hand being decent and someone who just arrived from the village, used to go to the college putting on the same coat my grandfather left for me. Not realizing and even caring about what others might have thought to see me with a male coat on, I used to wear that coat on a regular basis until I managed to have my own. That coat of my grandfather was not just a cloth but it was the symbol of his care, love and protection.

These days, when I remember about those days, I feel a bit embarrassed. But the immense love and care which my grandfather showed me makes me feel really proud and lucky. I had very few chances to show my grandfather that I do care about him as well. Living in the remote village of Nepal, where electricity used to be far from reach, my grandfather was very fond of listening to the radio. So I used to present him cell batteries for the radio whenever I went to see him in the village. At a time, we had differences about political beliefs which sometimes turned to bitter discussions. But, that never effected the bond we had with each other

Just to continue the further journey of my life, i moved to Europe twelve years before. Still maintaining the bond between each other, sometimes I used to call and talk with him. Last year my very own father passed away and I was in Nepal to complete the death rituals in a family. My grandfather at the age of ninety five plus was heartbroken to see his Elder son (My father) pass away. I was lucky enough to visit him in the mourning of my father’s death. Because yesterday 10th of February 2017 I was informed that my beloved grandfather has passed away. I feel like it was yesterday that we spent hours talking about our life and family. No one is ever immortal. True and entirely accepted fact. But, it’s so hard to embrace the reality of losing someone so close to the heart.

He spent his entire life as a loyal social worker. And seeing the similar character in me, I feel like as if i have inherited this from him. Since he was one of my greatest sources of inspiration, I had planned to write about him in my upcoming articles. But couldn’t stop myself and wrote it now.

”May your soul rest in eternal peace grandfather. I will miss you for my entire life. If I ever will get chance to become a grandparent, I will try my best to follow your foot steps”

Let your children be close to their grandparents :- Because …

For any grand parents, their grand children are the most valuable in their life.

Grand children can learn the values and norms of the society and the importance of a family relationship from the grand parents because obviously they have experienced so much in their life.

Children desperately in need of parent’s care and guidance can be fulfilled by the grand parents when their very own parents are not able to manage due to certain circumstances. Particularly when the parents are separated.

When the grandchildren and the grandparents spend time with each other, it helps both of them to be stress free. It’s another story if the grandchildren get annoyed to be close to the grandparents. Its parents’ responsibility to explain them the importance of their grandparents in their life.

Parents who show great love and respect towards the grandparents of their child can expect the same behavior from their child when they get old and become grandparents.

Physically and mentally healthy grandparents can become the role model for the grand children. As for me, my grandfather was as an iron man. Because he was living without any chronic disease, could walk healthily and never ever needed an eye glass at the age of ninety five plus.

BUILDING SELF CONFIDENCE TIPS FOR MOMS

Confidence is the key point for any one’s success in any field. And no one is born with this quality. It is to be built as we grow in our society. It’s a different story that some develop this skill which eventually leads them to the success while others don’t, which affects lots of things in their life. Because a talent is not a talent until some one dares to go out in the world and show it or prove it. And to do this, one needs to have lots of confidence. To become a mom first of all is a huge challange. Especially while living abroad and if there is no one to support. This is even harder for the single moms and those who are having this experience for the first time in life. And for those who are in career building process as a mom, need to know how to build self confidence in order to become successful both in family and profession.
Being a woman and a mom, I would like to share some of my own experiences here in this post on how to develop self confidence as a mother. I don’t think anybody disagrees that we women are the key role player in the family. Raising children, taking care of the family members and also being involved in some kind of profession can only be done by a woman. And Life can really be hectic if all these things are to be done by a woman at the same time. And who ever manages to do these things at the same time should be a woman who really has huge confidence in herself.
And for those who are still trying to figure out how to develop these skills, I have mentioned them below. I will be very happy if I will be able to help some one by sharing my experiences.

(1) Maintain your physical fitness: – Health is wealth. Being healthy and sound makes us feel strong which lets us feel confident who we are. And who wouldn’t like to be attractive isn’t it? So, out of your busy schedules, take out some time for your health. Try to maintain stress free life by relaxing and exercising. Be aware of what to consume and what not to. Remember, it is everything that we eat will make us what we look like. It will be lot easier to develop self confidence if we maintain our physical fitness and personality.
(2) Be socialised: – Being socialised helps us to be updated about the society and the world around us. Be in touch with the family members, relatives and friends. Choose some of them with whom you go along well to be your best friend. Do not hesitate to ask for help when you need and always be ready to help others. If you do this, you will be well known around that itself gives you some kind of strength and makes you feel confident.
(3)Utilize social media in a right way: – Being in social media sometimes is taken negatively. Which I don’t agree. Social media is not only about having fun or wasting time. Being involved in these platforms can help develop inter personal skills as well. This, in another word is a form of building self confidence.
(4)Follow Successful people: – Learn from the success of others. Try to gather information about the things they have implemented to become successful. If possible choose a good mentor and learn from that person. Try to take as much responsibility as you can. More you do more you learn. And more you know more confident you are.
(5)Manage your time properly:- We all have 24 hours of time in a day. All those people whom we know as the most successful people in the world also have 24 hours with them. Doing things in priority will help manage time for every activities. Most of us might spend our time at home watching some TV serials. This happens mostly in Asian countries that women spend time watching the serials mostly about the mother in law and the daughter in law (family politics). Instead of this, watching programs that could actually inspire us or educate will help to develop self confidence. I highly suggest every one to watch mostly talent shows.
(6)Be Honest and Disciplined: – We all know that honesty is the best policy. Do not fear to say NO. And fight for your rights. Do not compromise with anything if you know that you are right. At the end of the day, truth always wins. A person who is always honest and disciplined has nothing to fear about. And when there is no fear, confidence comes automatically.
(7)Learn to correct your mistakes: – From time to time, look at the mirror and ask yourself. Who you are and what do you think about your self. If you can look straight at your face proudly then you are at the right path. If you see something is lacking, then try to figure it out and correct it. If you have made mistakes try not to do it again. If you have hurt some one do apologize immediately. Keeping your heart clean will help you develop self confidence.
(8) Don’t compare yourself with others: – It is sometimes good to compare yourself with the successful people only if you also try to follow their path. But, mostly people might get frustrated by the fact not being as success as the other person. So, it is better not to compare with anybody and be yourself. Instead, set goals and work to build the foundations of that goal. While doing so, you know about the facts to reach that goal. This helps to develop confidence in you.
(9) Don’t miss the success celebrations of others: – Becoming part of these kinds of celebrations will re energize you. Celebrate your small achievements and include others to be with you during these kinds of celebrations. Sometimes a small praise from the mouth of others is what needed to give someone a jump start energy. Remember that confidence and energy are closely related to each other.

There are lot more things one can do to improve self confidence. The points above are the main things i have seen that one should work on to build self confidence. Also the reality is that there is always ups and downs in life and career. If you reach the height of success, never forget where you began. Treat every one with equal respect. Because no body knows the future. The person whom you under estimate today might be more successful than you tomorrow.

I hope you will like and agree with what i am trying to point out here. Your comments and opinions will be highly appreciated.

Early Marriage, Having Baby, Career & Its Effects.

To become a mother is an amazing feeling. It might be scary moment for many just to imagine becoming a mother. From the very first day to be diagnosed as pregnant till the delivery period and all the difficulties that one might have to face during those 9 months. And not only that, all the sacrifices that a mother might have to do just for the baby might be the reason for any woman to be scared of becoming pregnant.
Yes. It’s not an easy task. But the pride and happiness one can have by successfully raising a baby cannot be compared with anything else. Becoming pregnant, then a mother is not only the thing that makes difference. Between these two relations, there is another relation whom we call a father and husband for that pregnant woman. And all these three relations are like a bond attached to each other.

We humans are ambitious by nature. And this is because of our family and social responsibility. Who wouldn’t like to be successful in life? Or simply let’s say earning name and fame is what makes the society and this world move on. So was I.

MY STORY :-

It all began 21 years before. I used to live in the capital city of Nepal for study purpose. A male dominated society and first time away from my village and family. Life itself was full of challenges for me. Then I used to be on my first year of certificate level and married as well. I happened to be pregnant and was staying all alone. The examination day was approaching and I was struggling with my pregnancy. Some how I managed to complete my first year exam as a mother because my very first baby was born during that period.
After the exam I decided to return back to my home village where I had all my family to support me and the baby. Everyone was very happy to have the very first child in the family. My parents were glad to have their very first grand child. And my brothers and sister were happy as well to have their niece. Things were all moving fine until the day came for me to return back to the city for further study. I was not able to make any decisions on what to do and what not to. My baby was just 9 months old at that time. Some advised me to stay home for the sake of the child. Some told me to go back to the city and continue with the study because it used to be a rare opportunity for a woman to get chance like that in those days. And it was also true that I was the only woman who had that luck to continue with the study after marriage.
Having long discussion and listening to the elder’s advices I decided to return back to the city leaving behind my child under the custody of my parents and the family members. I cannot write in words how difficult was that for me. I used to spend nights soaked in tears. And it was all because I had a dream of achieving success in life by gaining higher education. Struggle in the city to take life and study forward was not that easy in those days. Haven’t there been the supports of my family members, I couldn’t have done that all alone.
Time was flying in its own motion. I finally managed to complete my bachelor’s degree. My daughter was back with me in the city and she was already nine and studying in Boarding School. As I said above, we humans are ambitious by nature. As the day and time were passing, the responsibility towards family and child were also increasing. And I knew very well that staying in my motherland would not let me more opportunity than what I already had. And that forced me to make a decision for going away from my motherland.
So the day came for me to fly abroad leaving behind my daughter. The situation was same as before. But this time the custody takers of my baby were different. I left her in the hostel of the Boarding School. This time I had flown thousands of miles away from my baby. And the reason was same as before.
Since last 12 years I have been living in Europe. Lots of things happened and changed in my life during all these years. And it will not be possible to write all about my struggle days in the foreign country. And also inappropriate with what I am actually trying to focus in this post.In short, I don’t have that much things to complain from my present life in foreign country.
Today my daughter is 21 years old and has her own life and responsibilities. It’s a different story that she has her own ambitions and difficulties. Doesn’t matter how older she is, she is my daughter and I still see her as the same vulnerable child whom I have left back in my country 12 years ago.
Modern life has made us more and more busy with our daily routines. Though the world has become like a small room due to the technological development in the field of communication. I can communicate with my daughter when ever i want. But I still regret for that decision I made 21 years ago and the decision I made 12 years ago.
Nothing is greater than the mother’s lap to the growing toddler. I couldn’t be there when my baby cried for the mother’s warm love. I couldn’t be there to teach her to laugh, talk and take her very first baby walk.

My daughter spent her early childhood without me being near her. And this is the greatest regret I have today.

It’s all about how we manage time for the family and the career. If everything is planned properly, no body will have to be in the suituation like i am today. There is no one on Earth without a problem and difficulties. But the best is that our children should not be the ones to pay price for . Every child deserves mothers care and warm love. And this needs to be done by physically being present near them.
The Psychological and emotional development in the baby can be far better if they are raised under the supervision of a mother.
These are my very own experiences and a true story. I just wanted to share here in my blog with a thought that my post might make difference in some one’s life who is going to be a mother soon or in near future.

SEVEN TIPS FOR PARENTS TRYING TO SETTLE IN FOREIGN COUNTRY

People trying to migrate from under developed country to advanced nation has been on going since long. And this is in search of better opportunity and quality of life or unfavourable living condition in the country due to different circumstances like political crisis and natural disasters.

Sometimes it becomes a hot topic if the number of these people become sizeable. And unnoticeable when we talk about just a single person or a small family. Myself being an Asian origin who migrated to Europe many years before in search of better future,would like to share my experience with other parents as seven main things to remember before planning to settle and after in foreign country. And here i am focusing especially to those people who are with small children to raise.

(1) Better Planning :-

If your migrating plan is not in emergency and you are trying to move abroad for a better future, then you should know very well that you are going to live in a totally new country which has different language, culture and society. Prepare your finance so that you can support yourself for sometime before you find a way to sustain in that country. Linguistic barrier is the biggest obstacle for anybody in foreign country. When it comes to getting integrated in the new society, career building process and official documentation works, it becomes really frustrating. It is wise to move to a country where you feel comfortable with the language. English is known as an International language. But there is nothing one can do if the second person doesn’t want to speak in English even if He/She knows.

Make research about that country’s political and financial stability.

Make some research about the opportunities for sustainability once in that country.

Learn some basic level of official language of that country.

Make some research about the living costs,general rules and regulations, public transport system of the city you focus to settle ( for this you can use google map of that city ).

Have second option ready. Make some research about the other countries that share the border with the country you are going to settle.

(2) Find some expats :-

It is smart move to get connected with some social group of expats in that country. You can take maximum advantage of most commonly used social media like face book. You can also try to find specific group of people who belong to the same country of origin as yours and have been living in that country for quite long. Take some information from these groups which will be of great help to settle in that new environment.

(3)Finding Accommodation :-

This will be your biggest challenge once you enter the country. At first, try to accommodate yourself in some cheap hostels or hotels. Since you are in advanced country, internet access won’t be that difficult. Most of the Cafe, Restaurants have free WiFi. And in some places you can even find Free Wave internet access in public places. So, be in touch with the groups you joined in social media and take some help from them to find an Apartment for your family.

Continue to search online for the apartment. You can use the most commonly used our best friend Google and ask about the companies that work in this field.

Never ever fall in the trap that you find in the internet which goes like this. ” I am abroad for couple of months or years. And I am in search of a good tenant to take care of my property. I will send you the key after i receive the payment of the deposit amount and the rent of first month and bla bla bla ” . There are lots of people who have fallen under these kinds of trap and have lost their money.

(4) Get registered :-

Have all your documents up to date and get registered with the local authority. Do not start to engage in any kind of job or business until you are fully authorised to do so. As i wrote above to be in touch with the social groups, try to find some friends who live in the same area. They can be of great help in case of official language problem while going to the Government departments to fulfil your applications.

(5) Get Socialised :-

Staying within the four walls of your apartment doesn’t bring anything to you in that new society. So get out of your comfort zone and meet with the people in your neighbourhood.

Learn the local greetings and communicate with the people you meet on daily basis. Google translator can be of great help in this case. In the mean time try to find if there is any facility available for you to learn the official language and integration program free of cost.

Participate in celebrations or any kind of function organised by the local society.

Take your children to the local parks and let them meet with new friends. This will help them to understand the new society and develop their language skills.

Make an inquiry if there is any Government supported program for child care allowance which can benefit your children to foster in that new environment.

(6) Finding career path :-

This might be the top priority for every body since you have moved abroad for better opportunity and life for your family. But i have kept it in the 6th place because without fulfilling the previous points, getting job placement is almost impossible.

First and fore most you have to get your authorisation document that says you are eligible to engage in the local job market or any kind of business.

It is wise to choose a career field you are experienced with. And also in the same category of your academic credentials. But, in order to sustain till you find a job according to your academic qualification, you can also start any job offer that comes to you. In the mean time be in touch with the family members back in the home country in order not to be stress free, be in touch with the local friends and seek help to find the correct job for you.

Educate yourself about your rights as an employee and the facilities you are entitled with ( Insurance, medical care etc)

(7)Give back what you’ve learnt :- Last but not the least. You can play a role in creating the better world. Obviously you’ve experienced and learnt a lot till you reach to this point. There are help seekers every where like you were once. So always be ready to help the new comers and advise them.

What Used To Be Your Best Toy ?

We all were kid once. And sure we all might have had our best choice of toys. I’m bit nostalgic today. And i just wanted to see how many of you have ever had these toys and which of these were your among the best.

Just take your cursor to the photo. You will see a Star and dialogue icon. If you click on the star your vote counts. And if you click in the dialogue icon you can write a comment about that toy.

I will have this competition for a week. And lets see which toy will win. It is not possible to include all the toys in this post. But, i have tried to cover most of the categories. If you think that your best toy is missing from the list simply recommend me in the comment below and i will include it in the competition.

How To Become a Role Model Of Your Child .

´´My dad is my source of inspiration. And I have always found him to be the role model in most of the situations of my life’’.

”The first School is a home”

I am writing this article with my own experience while upbringing my son. And before that I am also some one’s daughter. I, like everybody have passed through various stages in life to become an adult mother. And the life I have spent so far has taught me these things that I am going to express here. These points don’t have any references but are my own thoughts and ideas that I have implemented while upbringing my two children.
Every people on this planet have their source of inspiration or are influenced by some body in their life. And when we listen to any interviews of people on screen or anywhere else we hear them mostly saying things about their source of inspiration.
To become a parent is an amazing experience in life. From the day we become mother or father we start to plan about the future of the child. Depending on the circumstances of the family, some turn out to be very inspiring and example family while others don’t. And I don’t think that anybody disagrees on the fact that ´´ A house is the first school for any children’’.
What ever they see and learn from their parents or family members will be the base of their moral value and attitude that they use it while they go to the outer world which we call a society. Parents play an important role in the child’s development and learning. Everything you and your child do together will teach important lessons that will help them grow and learn about their world.
So to make my points simple, I have written them in steps starting from the early child hood till they reach maturity.

How To Choose Toys For Children

As i stated in my previous publish that my son constantly desires to pick out planets while we visit the store to shop for. How ever it won’t be the same with each and every children. Most of the kids get bored in playing with the same toy again and again. So, certain points should be considered before buying toys for the child.

Points to consider :-

•Is the toy suitable for the child’s age? despite the fact that most of the toys have age category mentioned, we should also take into account the talents of the child before we provide the toy.
• Is the child going to like it for a long duration ? That is bit difficult with the small babies. But afterwards it will likely be smooth once they reach the age in which they could express their interest by themselves.
• Some other important factor is that, is the toy nicely-designed and safety general met? Kids from age 1-3 must not receive toys that can be easily swallowed, toys with unfastened hairs, toxic paints and sharp edged. Continue reading “HOW TO CHOOSE TOYS FOR CHILDREN”