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﻿9 Things You Should Never Say To An Empty Nester
There are just some things that are better left unsaid, especially when you're speaking to a new empty nester. A seemingly innocuous suggestion "why don't you start a new hobby?" can be an unpleasant reminder of all the time one will have on their hands.
We asked our Huff/Post50 Facebook fans what were some things one should never say to an empty nester, and the answers came pouring in.
At The Huffington Post, we've written about things you should never say to a tall woman. We've written about things you should never say to a single parents. We've even written about the words you should never utter over the age of 50.
And, now, here also are 9 things you should never say to someone with a new empty nest. Do you have anything to add? Let us know in comments.
1) "Get over it and move on with your life." Uh, too harsh. too soon.
2) "Got room?" Don't think so!
3) "I bet you're glad to have the house all to yourselves now." No, we're missing the chaos and noise that comes from having children around.
4) "You'll be all better in three weeks." More like Thanksgiving.
5) "Believe it or not, someday soon she will visit and you will be happy to see her go!" Don't count on it.
6) "Maybe you could have another?" Baby? At our age? You've got to be kidding.
7) "Why don't you get a pet?" Do you honestly think a pet will fill the void left by a child leaving home? Maybe for some people. but in time.
8) "Now it's your time to fly." Sure, but we actually had a lot of fun when our kids were around.
9) "Don't worry. soon enough you'll have grandchildren running around." Truly not helpful.
So what should you say? One of our readers offered the following advice. Do you agree?
"You did the important job God gave you, now give them the freedom to spread their wings without guilt that you feel so lonely. Decide what you like to do and go for it. redo a room, volunteer, take a class, join a group, get outside that house, and use music that you love (upbeat) to fill that silence and one day you will realize that you're okay with the kids moving on and they will be proud that you did," said Barbara Perry.
VolunteerIn the same way that volunteering at your child's school makes you part of a community and helps you make friends with fellow parents, volunteering at your local library, homeless shelter, or with a civic group will immerse you in a new community that includes neighbors and empty nesters.
Find A HobbyDid you know that Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't start writing books until her children were grown and with kids of their own? Take advantage of your empty nest and get involved in something that you have wanted to do and previously did not have enough time to do. Take a class, play a sport, or find a hobby.
Get A Job Or Start A BusinessIf you've only ever done poorly paid parttime jobs while the children were at home (or if raising kids for 18 years was enough full time work in itself!), now you've got the chance to have a fresh start. Or you may have an ambition to run your own business the 'encore career' movement is rife with fresh faced entrepreneurs over 50. five days a week, explore the idea of exploring. Rejoice in the freedom you haven't had in years and see the world. Feel like seeing the pyramids? Versailles? Living in Costa Rica for a year week? Step to it amigo!
Reacquaint Yourself With RomanceIf an empty nest means anything, it's privacy. Rejoice in your longdeserved break from acting like a parent and act like an adult. Whether you're married or single, take the opportunity to reignite the sputtering spark in your relationship or get out there and carve out for yourself a love life worth living. It's true what they say, sex IS better after 50.
HuffPost High School welcomes a lively, thoughtful debate in the comment section.
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I would not want to be given specific ideas about what to do. Different approaches work for different people, and having children leave home is very hard for some. Maybe I would read or paint or take walks in the forest. I do not want to be pressured to make my child proud by telling her about my exciting, maybe madeup new activities (or report back to advice giver). All of moms' feelings do not have to be hidden (though you would not want child to feel guilty). I like hearing about their new experiences. This advice does not fit all cultures. Some like to live close to their family. And don't assume that a person thinks that God gave them the parenting job.
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