The Strength to Constrict

Understanding the power of the Tisha B’Av fast.

Fasting is difficult. Most of us look forward to a juicy burger or gourmet ice cream, but not too many people I know look forward to a fast. So it’s been bothering me: Why is fasting a mitzvah? There must be some inherent spiritual lift behind it, otherwise it would not be part of Jewish life.

Recently, I’ve been reading A God Powered Life by Rabbi David Aaron. One chapter on the Kabbalistic concept of tzimtzum, constriction, opened up a revelation for me and helped me understand the power of fasting. He writes:

The Kabbalah teaches that before creation there was just the endless Light of God... God, however, contracted His endless light and withdrew it, moved Himself away from the center while making a space for the creation of vessels. [Vessels refer to time, space, matter, you and me.] God then projected a thin ray of His endless light into the vessels. This process of making a space and infusing every moment, every place and every one with the Presence of the Great I is the mystery and miracle of tzimtzum [constriction].

We, too, must perform this divine act in the service of God. First we have to move everything out of the way, get rid of the racket, and then we must bracket this moment and this place.

This struck a real chord in me. When God condensed Himself to focus His Light in a way that we could receive it, it was the ultimate act of love. God is Everything, but we couldn’t benefit from His greatness if it was in the full expansive state.

No matter what a wonderful friend or teacher I am, no matter how talented or productive I am, my child won’t respond to the sum of me. She can only have all of me if I condense myself, if I create a space and focus all of my love, kindness and gifts onto her. Nothing I do for the rest of the world will translate to love for her with that same power.

This is the real challenge of parenting and relationships. A part of us doesn’t want to stop. We want to move and create. Pulling back and committing to the moment takes a lot of energy.

But that’s precisely where the energy is. Tzimtzum: constriction for expansiveness.

Sitting on the Floor

Which brings us to the idea of fasting. In Hebrew a fast is called a tzom, similar to the word tzimtzum. When we fast, we feel anything but expansive. We feel hungry and restless; we can’t even think of plans beyond the next moment. Fasting narrows our world to the immediate present.

But where is the light, the benefit? What purpose could a full day of constriction have?

In sorrow is where we find comfort.

The constrictive experience of fasting is similar to a state of mourning. A person sitting shiva needs to stay with the process of grieving for seven days. They’re instructed to dwell with their sorrow. And yet, paradoxically, that is where they find comfort. The loss hurts, and the pain is intense. But in being with it, there is comfort in the discomfort.

In some mysterious way, our constriction mimics God’s constriction. We can relish every bit of life – whether feasting or fasting – in its most expansive way.

Fasting for a whole day allows us to condense ourselves into the experience. There we find that our Jewish world is not narrow at all. It is a vast and beautiful, complex story with a 4,000-year-old chain of steel. It is an adventure of growth and yearning. It’s a relationship with God and His Torah and His Land, and the realization that God, Torah and the Jewish people are all One.

On Tisha B'Av, sitting on the floor in mourning, is a transformational odyssey where we’re flung back and forth to our pains past and present, while all the time holding the glorious image of the future. Our joined hunger parallels the lack we feel. On this day we feel not only for ourselves, but for all the Jewish people; knowing with a knowledge as real as the hunger in our belly that we are collectively famished for connection, weak from struggle, and heavy from the pain of a fractured people.

Yes, all this is born in the place where we’re willing to constrict.

And when Tisha B'Av is over, it is just the beginning. We use tzimtzum to bring that power of unity to a deeper level.

What would it mean to the next person you spoke to if you looked them in the eye and listened to them fully without distraction?

Everything.

How would your spouse feel if you put down what you’re holding and quieted your mind to make space for their words?

Loved. Cherished. Supported.

Tzimtzum is another way of saying: “You matter enough for me to focus all my energies on you.”

This Tisha B'Av, may we have the courage to be fully with the tzom, whole with the discomfort, and learn to condense our entirety for every other Jew.

About the Author

Rivka Malka co-directs WOW!, a Baltimore based, Jewish outreach program out of her love for Jews of all types and her belief that when two Jews get together magic happens. Hosting Shabbatons together with her husband Bezalel is one of her greatest highs. You’re invited!

Visitor Comments: 22

Dear Mrs. Perlman, what a fine and beautiful piece you have written. It is in my heart for this fast. B'H dear one.

(19)
Maya Shapiro,
July 22, 2012 7:58 PM

Beautiful

Wow, thanks you so much for sharing that. That was really beautiful.

(18)
Yehudith Shraga,
July 15, 2012 10:52 PM

Let's make this point clear.

Ar'i haKadosh states: Tzimtzem EtAzmo Ain Sof beNekkuda haEmtza'it Asher Bo= No End resticted itself in middle point that is in It. As we see the key understanding of the Tzimtum is in our understanding of what is called Ein Sof=No End, and what is the Light that belongs to the stage called Ein Sof, because we have some previous stages of development, before it comes to the stage called Ein Sof, and on each and every stage there is a different Light.Baal haSulam comments that Ein Sof is composed of the Wish to Get and the Upper Light which fills it, and that Tzimtum was made for the work in Torah and Mitzvot to have place, and Rav Barush Ashlag explains that it is the Wish to Get,which didn't want to be get for the sake of getting and wanted to have a place for the equility of qualities with the Creator which is Bestowing Power, and so the work of converting the wish to get for the sake of getting into the wish to get for the sake of bestwoing starts to its way...The well known exparation Ani AVAYA loShiniti, means that Creator isn't human to change His plans, he created the creation and to bestow it with all the possible Good, as for the creation- it isn't so nice to feel that you eat the bread the you haven't earned is it? So there is a trmendous difference in saying that the Creator constricted His Light, and the explanation given by Ar'i,Baal haSulam and Rabash, the first one makes you a rabbit in a laboratory, where there is a Force which withdraws the Light and then gives a beam of the light and so on, according to the Ari's expalnation the Creator has a constant Wish and Will, and it is the creation that earns its right to be co-creator with Him, but for that matter the Kitve'i Ar'i with the comments of Baal haSulam and explanations of Rabash should be studied, because after all there is a freedom of choice to feel oneself a victim and a rabit or a Human who works hard in Torah and Mitzvot to make his/her nature equil in qualities to those of the Creator.

(17)
James,
January 14, 2012 2:15 PM

Shedding More Light

Yes, that has really shed more light on the benefit of fasting. That's inspiring

Rivka Malka,
July 27, 2012 8:37 PM

thank you!

Thank you James, I really appreciate the feedback. I hope your day goes well.

(16)
reyn,
October 30, 2011 5:05 AM

Thank-you for the inspiration to fast and meditate as I strive to stay grounded in the present.
Peace

(15)
Texan,
September 16, 2011 9:38 PM

Great Reading

I just want to say thank you for the great articles.

(14)
dominic tonui,
August 23, 2011 6:17 AM

Am from kenya,am greatful for this site,pray for me to kill flesh by fasting.Thank you again for this wonderful artical.

(13)
Eliana,
August 9, 2011 5:41 PM

Thank you

Thank you for this insightful article!

(12)
Shoshana Blackman,
August 9, 2011 5:08 PM

Rivka Malka.... what an amazing article. I am so humbled by your eloquence. Thank you.

(11)
Marcia,
August 9, 2011 4:06 PM

Everyday is to be lived like this

Not that we should fast everyday, but take the time to stop everyday, put down whatever you have, and give your full attention to loved ones, not just Tisha B'Av.

(10)
Bracha Goetz,
August 9, 2011 3:39 PM

Thank you

for sharing these wonderful insights!

(9)
sony,
August 9, 2011 4:34 AM

Truly amazing thought. Tonight as I was listening to Aicha i was thinking about Isaiah watching the destruction with his own eyes and how small he must have felt compared to G-d's great plan. Your article made me think of the very wise but simple line "let go and let G-d". I guess what I'm trying to say is the same way G-d has to restrict himself to let us in, we have to restrict ourselves to let him in.

(8)
naomi,
August 9, 2011 2:00 AM

inspired

your wisdom is exceeded only by your personhood. thank you for your depth. keep teaching and sharing!

(7)
Anonymous,
August 9, 2011 12:22 AM

excellent article. puts you in the moment.

(6)
Richard,
August 8, 2011 4:08 PM

THANK YOU

I now do understand the power of the Tisha B’Av fast.

(5)
Adina,
August 8, 2011 2:47 PM

Thank you! :)

This is magnificent. Thank you so much for the marvelous inspiration. This will definitely add to the meaningfulness of my fast this year. All the best to you! :)

(4)
Benzion Klatzko,
August 7, 2011 11:10 PM

More!! We want MORE!!!

Rebbitzen Perlman, you are a shining star of compassion and love. The Jewish people have been waiting for a person like you for a long long time!!

(3)
Anonymous,
August 7, 2011 11:09 PM

most powerful and instructive-this years fast WILL be more meaningful

(2)
ruth housman,
August 7, 2011 6:06 PM

sorrow and fasting

I deeply understand and appreciate the profound metaphor in what you are writing. Perhaps my way of fasting has been to live, whether in the world or out of it, in a total meditative state, and so being that aware of the Divine Presence, is a kind of pulling away, at stepping out of the stream and observing it, and even while being, in the stream, meaning the endeavors of daily life.
Fast is a word that in English also means speed, as in full speed ahead and so it is a bipolar word, as we deprive ourselves by not eating to go inward and it's also about moving outward, very quickly, perhaps even approaching the speed of light.
Express, as in speech, as in eloquence of speech, as in loving within one's speech, is a word that also incorporates fast, as to take the train that is the EXPRESS is to move, really move.
I will say I believe we're all moving fast into a new state of consciousness, and that state, as beautifully expressed here, in discussing the meaning of fasting, and tzimzum, has to do with the constriction of the many, into the ONE.
I see we're moving towards a realization that GOD powers this universe, and that all is truly ONE, even within our lives, as in profound metaphoric connects as in this beautiful explication, that move up and down all Creation.
For me the fast is the knowledge I do not know, nor perhaps ever will, if any of the letters I send, out of my heart, are meaningful, are nourishing to anyone. But I do it for LOVE.
I believe love is the central guiding FORCE of this universe, and I do deeply perceive we are all vessels, giving, taking, pouring, pitching to each other, and that life as a game of baseball is headed for us all, towards HOME plate.

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...