Check your bank account. Are you richer than God? Damn share the wealth brobro, I thought we were tight! Me? My bank account is empty. My pockets too. The shoebox under my bed? Nothing but a buttplug. Which, back in the day, used to actually get you something. Now it doesn't get you anything but a more awkward relationship with your Craigslist roommate because he thought he discovered your secret comic book collection. "That's still something." You're right, I should be thankful. The Tropical Mountain Paradise concept from Island Yacht Design: it's ridiculous and I wouldn't hesitate a nautical second to scheme the hell out of some rich people for one. Then play real-life Monkey Island.

This view shows the guest cabanas nestled around the pool and highlights the two deck owners' suites carved out of the front of the volcano and looking out across the bow. The interior features an owners suite located inside the volcano and spread over two decks. The living room balcony affords views out over the front of the yacht from behind the waterfall. Located behind the bedroom is the owners private spa.

Alternatively, buy a tropical island and a yacht separately. "That's crazy talk, GW." No, "candy booger basket it's stabby time I eat drywall" is crazy talk, I'm actually making sense for once in my life. You know what I think it is? This mountain airnot taking my grandma's pills when I wake up.