In a previous blog post, I discussed why some individuals avoid confrontation. That post sparked a lot of feedback which caused me to address another issue many people have - caring what other people think about them. The need to be accepted or receive approval, on a personal level, is one that almost every individual grapples with. And, while it is something that is common, it is important to understand how it can impede your well-being and in some cases your life.

Depletes Your Self-ConfidenceSeeking and relying solely on feedback from other individuals regarding a decision you want to make can have a impact on how confident you feel about your decision-making capabilities. If feedback received is repeatedly contrary to the one you initially believed was right, it could result in you having a higher level of self-doubt and uncertainty.

Impedes Your ValuesThe need to be accepted is something that can ultimately affect a person's values, especially if they are seeking acceptance from individuals who do not appreciate the person's beliefs. The need for acceptance can, in some cases, override what an individual believes in and may cause the person to resent themselves later on.

Affects Your Passion and Creativity Lack of self-confidence combined with the need to be accepted can affect a individual's ability to "think outside of the box" and allow their creative "juices to flow." Someone who is always seeking the approval of others may easily be talked out of an idea they have or goal they wish to pursue.

So, what can you do avoid/fix such issues? First, start building your self-confidence. Spend some time each day reminding yourself of all the wonderful and important qualities you have as a person. Making a list of such qualities can help the process.

Second, spend more time with people who accept you as you are. In other words, you shouldn't have to change/curtail who you are just to "fit in" with the crowd. With technological advances like social media, it is easy to find like-minded individuals who can help support who are and ultimately help build your self-confidence.

Last, but not least, be realistic! Understand that not everyone on this earth will like you. Some will be jealous, some will misunderstand you, and some will straight out dislike you. It shouldn't be your mission to figure out why or to try to make amends. Whatever the issue may be, it is important to remind yourself it is their issue and it is for them to resolve if they so desire.

Do you have any other suggestions you would like to share about how someone can minimize how much they care about what other people think? Please share them below and also feel free to share your personal story of how you overcame this common problem.

I have found that when working with people who feel hopeless and feel like no one cares, they can find reassurance in their faith in God (or whatever their faith is in). If they are believers, knowing they are accepted and loved for who they are by their God can shed some hope and self confidence.

This blog reaffirms my hopes that one must first accept and respect oneself. This process is not always easy, but in the end it will matter less of what others think of you than you think of yourself. This is not to say that one should be self-righteous or arrogant. Rather, it means that a person who has self-confidence and self-determination can go forward to make a difference in their chosen profession as well as personal life. Thank you for this well written and insightful piece.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Respect for oneself can play a huge role in how much self-confidence and determination someone has, especially when it comes to achieving their life's desires. Thank you again!

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Christine M. Valentin

As a licensed clinical social worker, I help individuals reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. This blog is meant to share many of the suggestions I often recommend to many of my clients. Sign up to receive them directly.

This Site is not intended to provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by individuals in search of general information of interest pertaining to anxiety, depression and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.