Liz Braun, Postmedia Network

Relationship counsellor Richard Lee has some news for you about men — most of it bad.

Lee, 31, is the author of Stop Sending Me D*ck Pics, an eye-opening guide to the way men think about women.

Despite the amusing title, Lee’s book is an earnest attempt to show women what motivates men and what adds to, or detracts from, their relationships.

After a friend confessed to him that she really didn’t understand men and wished there was a simple guide to how men think when they are single, married or divorced, Lee decided that this was a book he could write.

For research, he interviewed dozens of men — some in relationships, some not — and also drew on his own experiences.

The revelations in his book, he confesses, “May have broken the bro code.”

— Men think about having sex with all the women in their lives all the time, yes, including that waitress they only met once.

— You cannot change a man, so don’t bother trying. In particular, avoid unmotivated men and men who indulge in self-pity. You can’t change a loser like this, and in the end, he’ll ruin you, too.

— Single men are like chameleons. They’ll become whatever or whomever you want in order to get you into bed.

— Married men are not immune to cheating and that is because married men are still men.

— If a man won’t let you look at his phone or his social media sites, he’s cheating.

— Contemporary society makes cheating easy.

— Whatever you tolerate when you’re dating him will only escalate once you’ve married him.

— Men are emotionally opportunistic and will take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability.

— Women in their 30s who want a relationship and children are easy prey for men. They know your biological clock is ticking and they know how to manipulate you.

There’s a lot more in Lee’s book, but it’s actually not all dire. His final chapter is about maintaining hope in the relationship game and moving past breakups or divorce.

Lee, himself divorced at 27, concedes that positive social change and equality for women is an element in the behaviour of contemporary men.

“We’re not there yet in terms of true equal rights,” he says, “but even so, a lot of men don’t know how to cope with independent women.

“And a lot of men are intimidated by successful women.”

Lee is not one of those men. His affection for women comes through loud and clear in his book, and his respect for his mother — who raised him and his two older brothers on her own, following a divorce — is another clue that he’s that rare man who actually likes women.

Toronto born and raised, Lee found success with his first book, Get Onboard, and has a third book in the works. It will be published later this year.

He says he has been a writer since childhood. That’s when he started keeping a journal, “As a way to put my emotions on paper.”

A youthful ambition to play in the NBA led him to college ball in the U.S., where writing his journals helped with loneliness. Sidelined by a injury, he eventually came back to Toronto and found work in the transit industry.

But, luckily, he never stopped writing.

ABOUT THAT TITLE

The title for Lee’s book, Stop Sending Me D*ck Pics, came about after a woman friend showed the author her phone. She was annoyed.

“She showed me a photo of a penis on her phone and said, ‘Why do men send pictures like this? Do they think this is enticing?!’ I wondered how many other women had received pictures like this, from men thinking it would arouse them. But it just turns them off.”

Lee makes a point in his book of explaining how men are visual beings.

A man works with his eyes first and his emotions second, he reports.

“I never heard a man say, ‘She has a wonderful heart’, when he first sees a woman.”

And so men send those photos thinking women are likewise visually oriented. They assume a woman they’re attracted to will be just as keen to look at intimate photos as they are: Wrong.

Most men, he says, come to regret sending those photos.

Meanwhile, if you order Stop Sending Me D*ck Pics — a book Lee playfully advises is for women readers only — be prepared for the usual pitfalls of self-publishing. The book has its fair share of spelling and syntax issues, but Lee’s voice comes through loud and clear regardless.

There’s plenty of wisdom in there and some of the insights are pure gold.