We have all felt the power of excitement, the dream that propels us out of bed in the morning eager to face the challenge the new day will bring us. These days, weeks, months, and even years bring such vitality that one can hardly relate to the person who does not have that passion inside them. But what happens if and when that excitement wains or even dies inside?

Life Leadership Essentials Series has recently released the book, Ladder: Climbing Out Of A Slump to help people get back on the path of goals and a vision that they know they want to be on, but can’t figure out how. In what I feel is a must read for anyone who has ever felt as if they have hit a plateau, or the mid-life crises, this book walks you through the 6 rungs of the ladder to climbing out of a slump.

Success is never promised to be easy, only worth it. Life is too short to spend not pursuing the dreams that God has placed in out lives. When it’s too late, we will look back and wonder what we waited for. If you are reading this blog post, you are one of the 5%ers in this world who need to be pursuing your passions so others have model to follow. Climb out of your slump and get moving. It’s Time!

I was recently reading a book by Best-Selling Author Chris Brady titled PAiLS: Twenty Years from Now, What Will You Wish You Had Done Today? It is an amazing read with many soul searching questions for everyone to ask themselves as they go through life wondering, why am I here?

From the beginning you are attracted to this amazing read. On the first page of the introduction, Brady references a woman who worked with the dying for many years and authored an article sharing “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”. I took a look and honestly questioned myself on these five regrets. It led me to write a message to a friend that I respect very much, in hopes of refreshing what was once an awesome relationship.

Recently I read a post from Author and community leader of thousands Tim Marks. The two things I respect about Tim Marks is his perspective he brings from his own life and his humility in knowing that he can learn something from anybody. Enjoy His perspective on a great book that has helped many in all 8f’s of their lives. Steve Leurquin

As we each build our leadership communities, one thing that quickly becomes obvious is that people are unique! Everyone has their own history, their own list of accomplishments, their own family situation, their favorite sport, favorite food, and their own personality style. Despite all of the differences, when you start spending a lot of time with a lot of people over the years, you start to see some patterns in behavior emerge. For example, you see that certain people are shy, and certain people are really confident. Some people really love details and tasks, and some people just love to be around friends. With practice, you can start to recognize the general patterns in people’s personalities, it can help you understand them a little better and relate to them more successfully.

Recognizing the different personality styles is nothing new. People have been studying other people for as long as people have been around! For example, a very famous Greek Philosopher named Hippocrates (after whom the Hippocratic Oath for medical practitioners is named) believed that in order to be healthy, your body needed equal amounts of four specific liquids. He called these liquids “humors” and they listed them as black bile, yellow bile, phlegm (“flem”), and blood. If you got sick, Hippocrates and his students thought it was because you had too much of one of these humors. So, they tried to cure you by removing some of those fluids! (Not always successfully, mind you, and not a very wise decision to begin with. Just imagine the conversation! “Hey Pythagoras, you still sick? Well, let’s drain off a few quarts of that yucky blood stuff you’ve got inside and see if that doesn’t put some spring in yer step!”)

Fast forward a few thousand years and we humans are still trying to figure out ourselves and the people around us! Luckily, some very smart people have done a lot of the heavy lifting for us. A wonderful author, Florence Littauer, has written a great book to help us understand the four personality types. That book is Personality Plus, available through the LIFE website, and I really recommend you get a copy and start to master your understanding of the four personalities! Why take the time to learn more about our personality style, as well as the people around us? Because by better understanding ourselves, we know who we really are and why we react the way we do in certain situations. We can recognize our strengths and amplify them, and we can be aware of our weakness and manage them more effectively. When I got started in community building, my upline leaders Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady both took me aside and gently suggested that I learn more about the Choleric personality and study some people skills books, because my demanding choleric nature was a definite weakness for me! So, let’s dive into our four personality styles: Melancholy, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Choleric! (And yes, Melancholy’s, I know that isn’t in alphabetical order… it’s not the end of the world!)

Sanguine

This is the outgoing, people-oriented social-type. Sanguines are also known as the “Popular” type. They enjoy fun, socializing, chatting, telling stories – and are fond of promising the world, because that’s the friendly thing to do. A Sanguine gets on well with people and can get others excited about issues, but cannot always be relied upon to get things done. They love interacting with others and play the role of the entertainer or center of attention in group interactions. They have a tendency to over-promise and under-deliver. A Sanguine would benefit from LISTENING more and letting other people tell stories… and not trying to upstage them! As well, if you are a Sanguine and don’t know the correct answer, DON’T make up the numbers… the Melancholy’s will spot you doing it and you’ll lose their respect! Some famous examples are Bill Clinton, Robin Williams, Kelly Ripa and Richard Simmons.

Melancholy

This is the reserved, task-oriented cautious type. Melancholies are also known as the “Perfect” type. Their typical behavior involves thinking, assessing, making lists, evaluating the positives and negatives, and general analysis of facts. They love maps, charts and graphs. They are usually the most intelligent of the four types; however they tend to dwell on details. A Melancholy is a planner, making sure things happen, although sometimes they can paralyze themselves with over-analysis. Lists and “doing things the right way” are characteristics of this personality type. Melancholy’s need to loosen up and let their hair down. No one is perfect, even if a Melancholoy tries to be. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you make a mistake… you are probably your own toughest critic. Probably no one else noticed, so you don’t need to point out your error. Remember that Cholerics and Sanguines are bored to tears with details, even if you find the details interesting. When presenting to them, try to summarize the key points and move on. Some famous examples are Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, and Beethoven.

Phlegmatic

This is the reserved and people-oriented type. They are easy going, laid back, nonchalant, unexcitable and relaxed. Desiring a quiet and peaceful environment above all else. They tend not to actively upset people, but their indifference may frustrate people. They try not to make decisions, and generally go for the status quo. They are good as mediators because they don’t usually have many enemies. Phlegmatics are also known as the “Peaceful” type; they tend to want everyone to get along and not rock the boat. They also have a “dry” and quick sense of humor. Phlegmatic leaders may not move as quickly as real Cholerics, but they can be just as—or even more—effective. They may not work harder, but they just may work smarter! If you are a Phlegmatic, you don’t have to say “yes” to every request… sometimes other people will take advantage of you if you don’t set up some boundaries and say “no” once in a while. Some famous examples are Calvin Coolidge, Tim Duncan, and Keanu Reeves (Not his Matrix action-hero character, mind you… His Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure surfer character.)

Choleric

I’ve put Cholerics last so that they can practice being patient and recognize that they aren’t always the alpha male in the room! :) This is the outgoing and task-oriented style. Choleric are dominant, strong, decisive, stubborn and sometimes even arrogant. Cholerics are also known as the “POWEFUL” type. They tend to be good leaders because they are driven to get things done. Unfortunately, they might offend some people along the way by not taking their feelings into account and stepping on some toes. We joke that they are often wrong but never in doubt! Cholerics often have the answers; they know what to do; they can make quick decisions; they bail others out in a jam—but they can struggle with being popular because their assurance and assertiveness make others feel insecure, and their ability to lead can easily make them appear bossy. Powerful Choleric should try to soften their approach with people while maintaining their amazing work ethic and results so that others will celebrate the Cholerics and not be offended by them. As Orrin Woodward’s amazing wife Laurie Woodward has said, “The #1 job of Cholerics is to love your people.” Some famous examples are Donald Trump, General Patton and Bill O’Reilly.

So we’ve briefly touched on each of the four personalities, but it gives you a good introduction to them. It’s my hope this blog inspires you to devour Personality Plus. One thing to always remember: no personality style is better than the other. Each has strengths and weaknesses. Each style is complemented by someone else…. Which is why working as part of a team can be so powerful! If you haven’t done so, take the time to read this book and learn about these styles. If you’ve read the book once, read it again and master it! You’ll discover the people around you are amazing!

A few years ago my daughter asked me if I could build her a tree house. “At this time I can not because we are trying to sell our house and I wouldn’t want to build something and then have to leave it”, was the reason I told her. The next year my excuse was that I didn’t have the time because we were running pretty hard for some goals. The next year came and my reasoning switched again to not having a proper tree to put up a good treehouse. My daughter patiently waited.

Then one night I sat up in bed almost in a cold sweat realizing my daughter is not getting any younger. She is 10 years old. In three years she most likely will not care about having a treehouse and in eight years she will be out on her own. The realization hit me because I didn’t want to look back on my time with her and realize I missed out on a father-daughter moment of being the hero to her. This is something her and I can do together and she will have a lifetime memory of what her daddy and her did together back when she was ten and who knows, maybe her kids will someday be able to play in it.

I’m proud to say that we have begun the process of building the treehouse and we are having so much fun doing it together as a family.

You know the real reason why I never started building the tree house? …….I’m not very handy and I had no idea how to start. I was afraid to do something I had never done before and the fear kept me from taking the first step. I wonder how many people in life get to their deathbeds filled with regret because of all the things they never accomplished on account of fear of not knowing how to start?

What goal in your life are you not taking the first step toward because you’re afraid to start. Well guys, I know that if I had never built my daughter a tree house I would have looked back a few years from know with regret knowing I had missed a great parent-child opportunity. Take the first step, you won’t regret it!

I love this clip from Rocky III as a message of don’t put off until tomorrow what you know you want to start today. Be advised, there is some minor swearing around minute 3:50, but the message of “There is not tomorrow!” is one we all need to hear.

The other day I heard a conversation that surprised me a bit to say the least. There were three ladies having a conversation when the husband of one called on the cell phone. He had left the location where she was and he was calling to apologize for accidentally taking her car keys with him when he left and that he would be bringing them back as soon as he could.

Sounds harmless enough. What surprised me was the other two ladies response to the husbands call. They were absolutely floored that her husband had just apologized! They were saying things like, “I can’t believe I just heard that come from a man’s mouth” and “My husband never apologizes to me”.

The authors explain that we each have a language of apology we need to hear before we truly forgive the other person. The easy part is knowing them. The hard part is knowing what other people’s apology language and even harder is saying it.

The Five Languages of Apology are:

1. Expressing Regret – “I am sorry.”

2. Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong.”

3. Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right.”

4. Genuinely Repenting – I’ll try not to do it again.”

5. Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me.”

Now guys, before you send me messages in outrage that I would make this information known I want you to think of benefits of reading and implementing this one area into your lives. I’m a man so I’m posting this to the men who read my blog, but I imagine if a wife saw her husband reading this you not only could knock her over with a feather, but she just might pick it up as well!

As you read a history book do you ever see the names and faces of people and wonder what they attributes they possessed that helped their names to be separated from the rest? We hear names like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther Kind Jr., Mother Theresa and we think that they were blessed with some kind of special talent that resulted in them becoming so famous. The truth is the only thing every person who is remembered for a lasting (positive) legacy has done is they took a stand.

Rick Hoyt took a stand many years ago that took great courage. Through his decision he has inspired many other families in similar situations to realize how truly blessed they are.

What is Legacy? It’s leaving a place better than you found it by living a model for others to follow. I think if we look close enough, those models are all around us of people who are leaving a lasting legacy by taking a stand doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

Enjoy this video of a father and son who have left a legacy for others to follow.

Jamie is an awesome mother, wife, and leading lady of a large leadership community. I am so proud of her strength and courage raising two daughters the way God meant her to. The positive difference she is making in this world will last generations. Enjoy, Steve Leurquin

Being a mother with two of my three kids being girls, I know all too well the struggles that girls face as they are growing up. My girls are 9 and 4 so they are not too deep into any drama, but my personal experiences have created a desire to prepare not only my daughters but myself for the struggles they will encounter.

Where does one go for such instruction as to how to successfully raise children? I decided to delve into some books from people who have had the experience and success with raising girls. My mentor, Lisa Hawkins has 3 girls and is well versed in the area of raising girls. By looking at the behavior of her girls, I know she is doing the right things! She has a daughter one year older than my oldest so she can stay one step ahead and guide me. She can also recommend books that have helped her, which limit my trial and error of finding the right books. Through the books that are recommended to me, I have been guided into understanding more what is happening in our culture and what our children are up against.

I must say after reading through some mind opening books, I am even more disgusted and angry at our media who messes with the minds of our beautiful children. With the continued exposure of what the media says is “beautiful”, more and more girls are focused on body image and falling victim to eating disorders. A less than appropriate clothing attire is available to kids, consisting of tight fitting low cut shirts, thong underwear and jeans that are cut low to expose the item worn underneath. Available for our children 7 and up!

Why allow the media to determine the values my children should have? Who are they to impose ideas and thoughts into our families heads that stop any natural thinking to occur? Instead of competing with the media, Steve and I decided our children will not grow up with TV, magazines, or negative “pop” music that would give them the values and beliefs we oppose.

I feel so blessed to be a part of the LIFE community that does not base any opinions on a person by outward appearance, but on the heart of a person. Whatever flaws a person has on the outside can be covered up by the beauty they hold within, but if a person has character flaws, outward beauty can not disguise it. The information available to our family through LIFE has been a tremendous source of education for my children’s development. Not only does it start the thinking process, but the focus is on creating a better you. My children have a strong, growing understanding of themselves and others. I am excited they have a love for learning and know their personal growth in all areas will escalate, assisting them in being a success in life.

A few of the books I read and recommend that focuses on raising girls: