Do too many parents have youth sports out of perspective?

With the youth sports scene bigger than ever, including significantly larger than a generation ago, I’m beginning to wonder if too many parents have lost some perspective.

If any parents are already nodding their head “yes” and mentally pointing a finger elsewhere, hold on. The more I think about this, the more I believe the majority of parents have youth sports out of whack.

And believe me, I wrote this column shamefully looking in the mirror. I’m at least partly guilty.

I bet if I asked 1,000 parents what’s more important, academics or youth sports, all 1,000 would say academics.

But let’s break down some realistic situations.

How many parents can name all of their kid’s coaches? I’m sure nearly every parent can name all of their kid’s coaches without hesitation. OK, now how many parents can name all of their kid’s teachers, including the specials teachers?

See where we’re about to go? We’re putting a big card on the table today.

How many parents know how their kid did on his or her last test? Geez, how many parents even know the last time their kid took a test? Now let’s head to youth sports. How many parents know how their kid did in his or her last game?

I’m guessing most parents had a hard time answering the question about the test, but no problem answering the question about the game.

I’ve seen a lot of proud parents on the sidelines after games, high-fiving their kid for making a good play or having a good game . . . even some hugs. I wonder if those same parents high-five their kid for bringing home a good grade on a test.

Reports card were handed out in most school systems within the last week or so. How many parents know off the top of their head how their kid did in each subject? That’s probably going to be a very low percentage. But I know some parents who can rattle off their kid’s batting average rather easily, or how many goals their kid has scored.

I've heard of parents giving their kid money for scoring goals. Do those same parents pay their kids for a good report card? Academics are more important than youth sports, right?

With spring here, this is a great time of year for parents to go outside and practice sports with their kid. Playing catch in the backyard; throwing the lacrosse ball around; trips to the batting cages. But how many parents have sat down recently to help their kid with homework or to study for a test?

How many parents have taken their kid out of school to go on a family vacation? I hear of that happening quite a bit. It’s pretty easy to turn a long weekend into a four-day getaway. But I wonder how many of those same parents have cut a vacation short due to a youth sporting event?

That was a real cheap shot on my part, but look at the message that some parents are delivering to their kid. Every parent would say academics are more important than youth sports, but for some, the message that’s being delivered says youth sports are actually more important than academics. No wonder so many high school jocks do so poorly in school – their parents instill that sports are more important than academics.

Let’s move away from the academic piece and tackle a topic equally important – bullying. The suicide of South Hadley’s Phoebe Prince has not only served as a wake-up call to the region, but I believe her death will reshape every school system in the country in regards to bullying.

Since Prince’s death in January, how many parents have had a heart-to-heart talk with their kid about bullying? Anyone? Now, since January, how many parents have had a “meaningful” talk with their kid about a game or the upcoming spring season or their kid’s team?

What’s more important: being good at youth sports or being a good kid? Every parent knows that answer. But if parents talk to their kid about youth sports, but don’t talk to their kid about bullying, how does a kid interpret that? There are some potentially dangerous ramifications there.

I’m not bashing youth sports. However, based on their actions, whether intentional or not, I think it’s safe to say some parents put a greater emphasis on youth sports than academics and proper life skills. Time will tell of the outcome of the travelers on such a road.

Here’s a final question for all parents who have kids playing youth sports: if you believe actions speak louder than words, and if you believe academics and good life skills are more important than youth sports, what are your actions telling your kid?

I don’t know a thing about Desmond Tutu, but I do like one of his quotes: “We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose.”