Roger Ebert's funniest reviews

Windsor Star04.04.2013

Perhaps Ebert's most notorious review was his takedown of the 1994 film North directed by Rob Reiner: "I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

/ Windsor Star

On the 2008 film The Bucket List: "I urgently advise hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients; there may be an outbreak of bedpans thrown at TV screens."Warner Bros.
/ Handout

Ebert got into a bit of a war of words with actor Rob Schneider, who went after a film critic for his negative review of the funnyman's film Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Ebert came to his fellow critic's defence: "As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."file photo
/ Leader-Post files

On the 2003 film The Brown Bunny: "I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny."
/ AP

On the 1988 comedy Johnny Be Good starring Anthony Michael Hall and a young Robert Downey Jr.: "This movie is simply financial leakage, a squandering of resources equivalent to polluting a river or plowing under a rain forest. I'm serious. We're desperate for things to think about in this society, and these guys contribute to the situation by providing us with 86 minutes of zip. They oughta have their pictures on the post office wall."Getty Images
/ Getty Images

On the 2005 film A Lot Like Love: "To call A Lot Like Love dead in the water is an insult to water."

On the 1967 film Easy Come, Easy Go starring Elvis Presley: "Elvis looks about the same as he always has, with his chubby face, petulant scowl, and absolutely characterless features. Here is one guy the wax museums will have no trouble getting right. He sings a lot, but I won't go into that. What I will say, however, is that after two dozen movies he should have learned to talk by now."From Gazette files

On the 2001 comedy Saving Silverman starring Jack Black: "Here's a critical rule of thumb: You know you're in trouble when you're reduced to praising a movie for its absence of fart jokes."Michael Buckner/Getty Images
/ NP

On the 2000 film Battlefield Earth: "Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way."Google
/ Images

On the 2001 film Freddy Got Fingered starring Canadian comic Tom Green: "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."Google
/ Images

On the 2011 film Battle: Los Angeles starring Aaron Eckhart: "Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you've been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart."GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images
/ The Windsor Star

On the 1997 film Mr. Magoo starring Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen: "Mr. Magoo is transcendently bad. It soars above ordinary badness as the eagle outreaches the fly. There is not a laugh in it. Not one. I counted."Handout
/ Files

On the 2010 film The Last Airbender: "The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that.”Handout
/ Canwest News Service

On the 1991 film Dice Rules starring comedian Andrew Dice Clay: "Dice Rules is one of the most appalling movies I have ever seen. It could not be more damaging to the career of Andrew Dice Clay if it had been made as a documentary by someone who hated him. The fact that Clay apparently thinks this movie is worth seeing is revealing and sad, indicating that he not only lacks a sense of humour, but also ordinary human decency.”Handout
/ Handout

On the 1998 remake of Godzilla: "Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica."Handout
/ Handout

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Roger Ebert's funniest reviews

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