How Can I Recover My Sexual Drive That Has Diminshed Severely Post-Surgery?

I had a myomectomy in February 2009, and since my desire or drive to have sex has severely diminished. Before the surgery, my drive was extremely high. I’m wondering if the removal of the tumors caused my body to decrease the levels of hormones that were being produced…? My relationship is suffering greatly because of this. My boyfriend is the most loving, gentle, tender person I’ve known, but I have to force myself to have sex with him. I can be turned on one minute and completely dry the very next. His idea of foreplay now repulses me. I get anxious when it becomes clear what he wants to do. Please help me figure out what to do.

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Answer:

You are asking a complicated question that may or may not fall into the category of mental health. Let me explain.

Myomectomy is a surgical procedure for the removal of fibroid tissues that interfere with the ability of a woman to conceive. Today, there are many ways this surgery is done, depending on the type of firbroids and the seriousness of the condition. Thanks to a variety of less intrusive surgeries now available, women are able to have this surgery and return to a normal sexual life with the ability to become pregnant. A lot depends on the type of surgery you were required to have.

Your best first step is to talk to the Medical Doctor who was responsible for your case. He(she) needs to know about your loss of libido and is most likely to have an explanation and recommended treatment if the problem really results from the procedure.

If the MD states that all is normal and you should really be able to have a normal sexual life like the one you had prior to the surgery, then you need to explore your thinking about sex, your relationship with your partner and if you are experiencing depression. Depression does, most certainly, lower libido in men and women. Also, an unhappy relationship can produce feelings of depression and, by itself, interfere with sexual relations with that person.

So, first consult your surgeon and GYN Doctors and, if they report all is healthy and you should have your normal sexual drive, then, seek psychotherapy and explore with the therapist what may be going on with you and with your relationship.

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