504 posts tagged with gay.
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I'm a 24-year-old gay man. I have recently gone through a bitter break up with whom the other half is a work colleague, and I have started seeing a cognitive-behavioural therapist who has diagnosed me with severe social anxiety disorder. My life has gotten on top of me and my self-esteem has been shattered. How can I pick up the pieces? What steps can I take to find the happiness that I know I deserve? [more inside]
posted by Lewnatic
on Dec 8, 2016 -
11 answers

Gay filter: I am a 23 year old gay male. I started a relationship with a man of the same age that I work with. The relationship started fast and ended even faster. I went back to him after he hurt me, but soon decided enough is enough. Now I can't stand the pain when I see him in work, and I am still lingering over feelings of attachment to him...even though he hurt me! What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Lewnatic
on Nov 15, 2016 -
10 answers

Hi MeFi! I am a queer lawyer with a lot of trans friends. I am getting bombarded with questions from my community about what the Trump presidency is going to mean for the LGBT community generally, and questions about how to handle trans legal matters specifically. The problem? This isn't my area of practice. Help help, more details below the fold. [more inside]
posted by bile and syntax
on Nov 11, 2016 -
8 answers

Some coworkers and I are starting a networking/education group in our office for LGBTQ folks. We'd like to benchmark across other organizations and learn what has been successful. [more inside]
posted by rebent
on Nov 11, 2016 -
3 answers

[Gayfilter] I am a 23-year-old gay man who has never had a serious relationship, not through lack of trying. When potential relationships come to an end, I get severely depressed and can't handle the rejection. I have tried therapy, medication, self-medication, hobbies, you name it, but I cannot shake this unbearable heartache that plagues me every time a guy I like calls time on our fleeting romance. [more inside]
posted by Lewnatic
on Nov 5, 2016 -
16 answers

A gay 20-something that I know used the phrase "fuck this gay earth" in a tweet. I challenged him (as someone who came out in 1990) for his use of the word "gay" as a pejorative, and he said "it's an established meme, it's okay for me to use it that way". How do I combat this? [more inside]
posted by hippybear
on Sep 10, 2016 -
37 answers

My wife and I suddenly MIGHT have a little bit of equity (we bought in 2006 in the bay area, just before the crash in 2008) and we're thinking about getting out of Oakland. Here's what we want: [more inside]
posted by yarnagogo
on Jul 22, 2016 -
24 answers

Two gay friends are getting married (finally! yippee!) and have requested no presents. Lots of us (the buddies, including the wedding party) want to respond by making donations to organizations that have supported marriage equality and other LGBT issues. Suggestions? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa
on Jul 9, 2016 -
14 answers

I'm taking a four day trip to NYC over Memorial Day weekend (solo). I have plans on Sunday evening but other than that, my time is completely unaccounted for. And aside from a few non-specific ideas, I'm overwhelmed by choices. [more inside]
posted by AFABulous
on Apr 20, 2016 -
32 answers

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 3, 2016 -
20 answers

I have tried London and failed. The gay part was OK, but being a foreigner was not. I'm now looking for a new European city to call home. Tell me where people care less that you're a (gay) foreigner. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Dec 22, 2015 -
18 answers

I've long noticed a pattern in my industry that women get pushed out (or move out?) of creative roles and into "Mom" roles. The stop being compositors/animators/developers and become production assistants and production coordinators. Pay-wise and career-respect-wise, it's a lot like being the default parent - not much pay, and not much respect.
Lately, I've noticed more stereotypically gay men (leaning toward the twink/pup variety) taking on production assistant/coordinator roles. Is this related at all to gender roles and default parenting, or am I noticing trends which do not exist? [more inside]
posted by clawsoon
on Oct 14, 2015 -
6 answers

The Situation: A guy whom I felt complicatedly "led me on," and with whom I thought I had begun to come to a resolution, has rapidly returned to strong behaviors that led me to fall for him in the first place. This is upsetting and confusing, as I had made clear that these were what led us into the situation in the first place. I'd love some help and advice as to navigating a conversation with him about boundaries, while balancing complicated feelings of deep connection to this gentleman and the need to respect myself and model such self-respect. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Sep 29, 2015 -
21 answers

For some reason my mom decided it would be a great idea to let her married, lesbian daughter know that even though she supports gay marriage, she "sees Kim Davis'" point of view and thinks she should have the right to a religious exemption, or that she should "have the right" to keep her job because "the rules of her job changed". I was shocked in the moment and don't feel like I explained the case well. Now I'm looking for one good, objective resource that will explain this situation better. [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats
on Sep 21, 2015 -
18 answers

Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Sep 4, 2015 -
14 answers

What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato? [more inside]
posted by marsbar77
on Aug 30, 2015 -
35 answers

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous
on Jul 2, 2015 -
6 answers

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis
on Apr 15, 2015 -
42 answers

I would totally be willing to take in a kid who has been disowned by his/her parents for being LBTG. Is there somewhere I could register for that?
Note: I am legally married cisgender woman with three young children of my own. Not being gay myself, there should be no legal obstacles in that regard. I'm just trying to connect with a disowned population.
posted by wwartorff
on Apr 4, 2015 -
6 answers

As a gay man, I've been having increasing problems with sexual harassment from complete strangers while out at gay bars. When this harassment happens in front of friends, I'm treated like I'm crazy for being upset. What are some clear and direct ways I can communicate my own discomfort and just how inappropriate what happened was - to people who are completely ignorant of feminism and women's issues and have bought into the toxic idea that we should be grateful for any attention we get? [more inside]
posted by C'est la D.C.
on Mar 14, 2015 -
14 answers

I have been contemplating a breast reduction for some time and have now reached the point where I am certain I want to take actual steps toward doing so. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jan 27, 2015 -
2 answers

I'm a late-thirties bi man who's relatively new to having sex with men - like, total partner count under 5. Last night I went home with a guy I sort-of knew, which is not something I've ever done before. The condom broke while I was bottoming and he didn't notice until afterwards. What next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Dec 3, 2014 -
17 answers

Over the past few months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I am about 80% straight and 20% gay, and this NCOD I am thinking of making a video and posting it to Facebook to let my very close friends know. On the one hand this seems like a really rewarding prospect, because I would like to start being more authentic with other people and this is a part of my identity that I want people to know about. It's the specifics I'm not sure how to handle. [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger
on Sep 29, 2014 -
71 answers

Hi MeFites,
I post this anonymously because I don’t want readers to infer anything from my previous posts.
I am a gay male in his 40s who married a straight female several years ago. She knew from the onset that I was gay and that I didn't like women, but accepted to marry me because she was in a bad relationship with someone who didn’t want to commit, and desperately wanted to found a family. Although my wife and I never had sex together, we have a son conceived through artificial insemination. She is a wonderful parent and we both love our son. How do I make myself being less bored by the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Sep 22, 2014 -
45 answers

I'm mid 30s, gay, currently working in Adelaide, South Australia (my work takes me all over the globe, so some context). I'm wanting to explore my sexuality, but I am wondering if I should visit a doctor to get some vaccinations for STDs? (I've been reading about HPV on ask.mefi) [more inside]
posted by TrinsicWS
on Sep 17, 2014 -
11 answers

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Sep 15, 2014 -
6 answers

My cousin is marrying his boyfriend and has asked me to speak at his wedding reception. I don't know my cousin but as nearly his only family there I would like to pull this off, preferably by dint of reading a poem. Please help me find the poem. [more inside]
posted by emilyw
on Sep 9, 2014 -
30 answers

Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder
on Sep 1, 2014 -
25 answers

I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
posted by pando11
on Jul 15, 2014 -
10 answers

I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature.
I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77
on Jun 26, 2014 -
29 answers

Adult gay man here. I wasn't out (publicly) in high school, and nobody else was either. In fact, I remember people still talking about "that one gay guy" who had graduated something like five years before me. I drove to colleges to meet people. What's it like these days? Is it generally no big deal? Is it common to take same-sex dates to events? Does anybody care?
posted by LastOfHisKind
on Feb 22, 2014 -
14 answers

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