Minor Characters (7 Days to Die)

This page is dedicated to the minor characters of 7 Days to Die. These characters may have appeared only very briefly on the show, or they may be the subject of much discussion without having ever actually appeared at all.

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Bloobs

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Bloobs was one of the final weird science creations of the Once and Future Aaron, a particularly megalomaniacal alternate Aaron from the Evilverse. Half-woman, half-blueberry pie, she fulfilled Aaron's long-time dream of finding the ultimate woman: one he could both have sex with and eat for dessert.

In Season 9, Aaron discovers that his Evilverse counterpart has successfully created his dream woman. After placing Once and Future Aaron's brain chip in Bloobs' nearly mindless head, Aaron does indeed have sex with Bloobs while completely devouring her.

Season 5: Having already developed a burning lust for blueberry pies, Aaron first describes his ultimate woman (see Quotes) in Episode 98 (Skyscrapist).

Season 6: Aaron envisions using weird science to create "chicks," since there might not be any left in the post-apocalypse. Emre approves of the plan. (Episode 118 - Enter the Void)

Season 10: Aaron takes a moment to reminisce about Bloobs while exploring DeVito Tower (Episode 188 - Deconstruction); building a garden to grow a new blueberry woman is high priority (Episode 189 - Elevator Prank)

Emre: "Everything you've been looking for is in that skyscraper." Aaron: "Oh! So you mean, like, a huge crate of blueberry pies?" Emre: "Yes. Maybe, a woman made out of blueberry pie." Aaron: "Oh, yeah, the ultimate woman. A blueberry pie woman. The Holy Grail of women. Not only can - not only is she beautiful and smells good, but you can - you can eat her for dessert." Emre: "Exactly." Aaron: "And then give it to her, right in the pie... hole." Emre: "She's probably up there." Aaron: "Definitely. Someday I'll find my blueberry pie woman in the skyscraper. I know it." (Episode 98 - Skyscrapist)

Grace

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Grace was a child who played a significant role in Emre's past shortly before the zombie apocalypse. Emre's brief interaction with Grace has been a root cause of the strife between Aaron and Emre throughout the series. According to Emre, Grace died just before the zombie apocalypse.

In the last days before the zombie apocalypse, Emre was a Sunday School teacher living somewhere north of Arizona. Grace was one of his students, an adorable little girl who was nearly blind unless she wore big, thick glasses that made her eyes look like they were "the size of watermelons." She lived with her grandparents, who were her legal guardians.

Grace was something of a firecracker. On the last day Emre ever taught Sunday School, Grace walked up to him, saying "Mr. Emre, sir." Once she had his attention, she added "Catch this!" and threw a water balloon at his face. Emre tried to catch the balloon, but it exploded all over him, and Grace followed up by kicking Emre in the nuts. Emre reacted by smacking Grace so hard that he knocked off her "stupid, giant" glasses and sent her rolling across the floor, crying. Being virtually blind, she was unable to find her glasses. (Episode 4 - All Horde Up)

Over the years, Emre has told two conflicting versions of what happened in the wake of his attack, though both accounts do involve him being charged with assault.

Emre originally concluded his tale by saying he immediately ran away and hopped on the first bus for the southern border; he'd made it halfway to Mexico when the zombie apocalypse broke out, leaving him stranded in Navezgane, Arizona. (Episode 4 - All Horde Up)

Years later, when a discussion as to whether zombies have souls turned to whether an undead Grace was now wandering the post-apocalypse, Emre changed his story to clarify that Grace had actually died just before the apocalypse. In this version of events, the police launched an investigation into the assault. In a stroke of extreme luck for Emre, Grace and her grandparents all died when their house mysteriously burned down a week before his court date. Emre claims that in the wake of the deaths, the case against him was thrown out. ("Thank God for random house fires.") (Episode 76 - Halfway House?)

Emre has yet to reconcile these two stories. Regardless of what really happened, Emre has consistently remained utterly unrepentant for attacking Grace. For his part, Aaron has been consistently horrified by Emre's tales.

Granny Omega was the first of many apocalyptic cult leaders to have warped JWM's psyche prior to the zombie apocalypse. Her current status is unknown. According to JWM, she fled to Ecuador in 1990, and he assumes she died of old age long before the zombie apocalypse. She has never appeared in the series, but her nemeses, the man-borgs, have.

The Jade Grue

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The Jade Grue was a recurring character in Season 3 (Episodes 50 - 71). He and his partner Medhathobo were entirely hostile to Aaron and Emre. Unlike Medhathobo, The Jade Grue did not return in Season 7 (Episodes 119 - 139). His current status is unknown.

The Jade Grue is played by a fan (a Subbable patron). He did not speak.

When the Day 14 horde night proves bizarrely quiet, Aaron speculates that other survivors may be in the region, drawing the feral horde's attention. On Day 17 (following an unacknowledged two-day time jump), after Aaron and Emre have already decided to murder any new survivors they find and take their fort, the Jade Grue and Medhathobo are first spotted in the distance, walking along the road past the wrecked Island fort. Whether hostile or simply defensive, the strangers fire a few pot shots in Aaron and Emre's direction before running off. (Episode 67 - More Survivors)

Aaron and Emre assume that the strangers are in league with SP Cakes - either part of her "clan" or gang, or simply dating her - based on their hostile first impression and the fact that they wandered off in the general direction of SP Cakes' destroyed fort. Aaron and Emre resolve to build a new, stronger fort - Fort Titanic - and then go on the offensive. (Episode 68 - Fort Titanic)

On Day 27, Aaron and Emre go raiding, and soon find The Jade Grue and Medhathobo's fort. Unfortunately for them, The Jade Grue is perched atop the fort's roof and is a lethal shot with a sniper rile. With help from Medhathobo, The Jade Grue picks off Aaron and Emre several times before Aaron manages to gun him down in return. Aaron and Emre continue to try new approaches, taking pot shots at the fort with rockets, and even making a mad dash for the fort while trading fire, but The Jade Grue keeps gunning them down. (Episode 69 - Fort F*ckers)

Aaron and Emre continue to assault the fort overnight and through the next day. Throughout most of the battle, The Jade Grue remains inside the fort, providing lethal sniper support, while his partner Medhathobo roams the grounds with shotgun, hunting down anyone (or anything) that gets too close. Aaron manages to get one good look at The Jade Grue - a large, bearded man in iron armor and a cowboy hat - when he penetrates the fort, but The Jade Grue quickly guns him down. (Episode 70 - Penetrated)

The Jade Grue and Medhathobo continue to defend their fort from Aaron and Emre throughout Night 28 and into Day 29, trading kills one after the other, but the destruction of their bedrolls, along with the need to defend against the Day 28 feral horde, turns the tide against them. The Jade Grue is last seen roaming the grounds, fighting Emre. (Episode 71 - Death by Auger)

Sign

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Sign was a new recruit lured to Pleasure Town at the start of Season 7 (Episodes 119 - 139). He did not speak during his brief visitation. A total mystery, his player's identity remains unknown to this day.

As Season 7 begins, Aaron and Emre discover that a radio beacon Aaron has built has drawn a group of survivors to their fortified camp, Pleasure Town. Sign is one of these new recruits. Like most of the others, he does not appear to be affiliated with anyone else.

Sign joins the lineup Aaron and Emre set up to interrogate/interview their potential recruits, but he does not respond to Aaron's questions. Emre guesses that he may be mute. Despite this, his passes the recruitment test and is allowed to follow Aaron and Emre back to Pleasure Town. Along with Epsilon One, Sign is one of two recruits who fails to clear the deadly row of spikes protecting Pleasure Town's outer walls.

After presumably respawning at the radio tower, Sign and Epsilon One hurry back to Pleasure Town. However, rather than rejoining the group at Super Church, Sign steals a mini-bike and immediately (though possibly accidentally) drives it straight into the deep, spiked gorge surrounding Super Church, killing himself and destroying the bike. Emre is outraged when Aaron points out that the lost mini-bike must have been Emre's. Aaron and Emre agree that Sign should be banished forever, and Aaron promises to stand guard outside shoot him on sight if he returns. Aaron soon notes that Sign has left permanently, however. He is never seen again.

Like the other new recruits, Sign is dressed in the plant fiber clothes of a starting survivor, including his cowboy hat. He has narrow features and an unusually long nose. (His strange nose is actually the product of an Alpha 14 bug that distorted player faces while wearing certain hats or hoods.)

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The Very Finest Pig is a quasi-divine being that is apparently the leader of the Very Fine Pigs that appeared in Season 9. While the Very Fine Pig has only objectively appeared in two episodes toward the end of Season 9, it retroactively claims to have been present in a secretly recurring role in the series, always trying to save Aaron and Emre, from the very first episode.

Season 9: The Very Finest Pig has a heart-to-heart with Jub in a bar (Episode 169 - Booty Stuff). The Pig reveals itself to Aaron and Emre and attempts to "save" them from the apocalypse, but fails. (Episode 175 - The End of Everything)

Other: For other possible retroactive sightings of the Very Finest Pig and its followers, see Jesus Pig! in the Recurring Themes for each season.