THC-Infused Chili Lime Peanuts, Reviewed

“This was straight-up maybe the most enjoyable high I’ve ever gotten from an edible.”

As a major anxiety sufferer and California resident, I’ve had a prescription for medical marijuana since 2006. In the decade since, I have tried — and made — all sorts of crazy cannabis products, but these days every time I go to the dispensary I see some new thing that you can eat or drink or rub on your body. As a public service, I decided to test out some of the more intriguing options to see whether they live up to the hype.

I’m getting high for you, folks, and don’t you forget it.

So what happened this week, when I ate a bunch of THC-infused peanuts, one of the many pot snacks offered by the brand Auntie Dolores (they also make pretzels and cheese biscuits)? Did I dance like an ebullient crazy person in tiny booty shorts to ‘90s punk-lite? Did I buy multiple bags of candy at Kinko’s? Did I tell at least three people I loved them?

Because peanuts are dope af and we live in California, this product is gluten-free, sugar-free and vegan. Although they are labeled as paleo, they technically aren’t since peanuts are legumes. The whole bag is 380 calories.

Purchased from: Emerald Room on Melrose in West Hollywood. $10.

Suggested Dosage: Each bag (about two-thirds of a cup of peanuts) contains 50mg THC, and they suggest that this equals five 10mg doses.

Actual Dosage: After April’s weed lemonade adventure, 50mg sounded like a reasonable amount for me to handle, so I just ate the whole bag. The peanuts contain a blend of indica and sativa oils, so I was pretty certain that they weren’t going to make me pass and/or freak out, and I was right.

Flavor: These peanuts are so damn good, y’all. Like with most weed snacks, you notice the marijuana flavor right at first and then it quickly disappears. I took my time munching on the very flavorful but not-too-spicy peanuts while drinking a hard ginger beer. There was quite a bit of spice left in the bottom of the bag that I think I’ll try sprinkling on nachos or something at a later date because it was too good to waste.

The High: This was straight-up maybe the most enjoyable high I’ve ever gotten from an edible. I had tickets to a Violent Femmes concert, which I figured would be a chill experience even if I started peaking at some point. I ate the peanuts while I was getting ready and then started the night at a dive bar for a friend’s birthday.

The peanuts started to hit at the bar while I was giving advice to a girl about fuckboys, but the overall experience was a slow, warm, gradual burn as opposed to the sudden knock-down brain explosion of some edibles. I always have great advice to give about fuckboys, stoned or no, but being so joyfully high made me even less susceptible than usual to their nefarious charms.

My concert companion and I headed to the venue and honestly had just a marvelous time. During the opening act I started doing that thing where you’re sitting down but dancing with your hand, or maybe it’s just a thing that I learned from the aging hippies I saw at jazz concerts as a kid in Humboldt County. The Femmes came out and were simply a solid goddamn show and we stood up and danced and laughed and at one point I rode that rollercoaster up my spine that comes when you’re peaking but I just closed my eyes and rode it out and it was fine and I was back up dancing in a hot minute.

The high was, quite simply, euphoric. I was happy and not at all anxious or self-conscious about being stoned out in a crowd of people. I dealt with a fuckboy of my own and came home and ate a bunch of candy and went to bed before 2 a.m., so yeah, I’d say it was pretty successful.

Conclusion: I may have been too hasty in the superior rating I gave the lemonade last week. That stuff was delicious and certainly powerful, but these peanuts were the most fun I’ve ever had with an edible. The 50mg dosage was perfect, and I think the protein of the nuts was much better to balance out the drug in your digestive system than the intense sugar of most weed-foods. So I’m changing my rating scale to out of six pot leaves, and Auntie Dolores’ Chili Lime Peanuts gets an easy six out of six. A great edible to try for a fun-yet-functional night on the town.