A Glimpse At Philadelphia's Outfest

Friday, October 18, 2013

Last Sunday was Philadelphia’s Annual Outfest.

Now I need to be honest and say that I usually don't attend gay pride events. I went to one about two years ago, but that was work-related because one of the companies I used to work for had a booth set up to sell things.

I’ve been an openly gay man for as long as I can remember, but for those of you who have been reading my blog for a while now, know that I don’t think it’s a big deal being gay because I really haven't written that many posts on the topic over the past six years. Nor do I need an annual reminder that I should be proud to be gay because I have always been comfortable being a homosexual.

And as a matter of fact, I am notproud to be gay. I’m proud of who I am, and being gay just so happens to be one part of who I am. Being gay is similar to how I feel about being Italian. I embrace and enjoy it, but it’s not my totality.

I have never insisted that anyone accept me for being gay. I insist that people treat me with respect yes, but that they treat me with respect as a human being, not just because I’m gay.

Altering how the world views homosexuality does not come from my trying to get others to accept it or even understand it, it comes from being who I am. I can say more from not saying anything and just being myself.

I was ridiculed and verbally abused for most of my school years. I was never physically bullied, but I was verbally bullied. And even to this very day at 58-years old, I still have certain people throw words my way, calling me a faggot or a homo.

But that’s one of the great things I've learned from being gay and being different. It’s taught me the importance of learning how to live in this world and be a part of it, but not allowing the world to define my worth or approval.

I have to say that my family, friends, and people who actually meet me for the first time, have never NOT accepted me for being gay. In fact, they don’t even see me as gay. They see me as Ron. My sexual preference is not even an issue.

And I think that’s because I have always seen myself as equal and valuable as anyone else, so I’m very casual about being gay.

I don’t hide it, nor do I make a big deal about it by making it my main focus.

That being said, I can still enjoy a gay event now and then because they're FUN – the music, the dancing, the craft vendors, and the drag shows. And the really nice thing about gay events in a city is that they are usually all-inclusive meaning, that gays AND straights party in the streets together, and I like that. You’ll often see straight couples at these events because they genuinely enjoy them. And you’ll even see the Philadelphia Police Department there, for security purposes, actually having a good time themselves.

I didn’t get out to the festival until late in the day on Sunday, but I took my camera and got a few fun photographs.

Here, take a look…

I was sitting in a Starbucks having a cup of coffee, when I looked out the window and saw this delightfully cute gal standing on the corner across the street. I immediately grabbed my camera and snapped a picture. I LOVE this photo because it felt like I spotted a magical fairy princess who had suddenly landed on earth.

And look...even magical fairy princesses carry an iPhone and TEXT.

Two drag queens getting ready to go onstage and perform. And I love how the one is nonchalantly leaning on the police car. And notice the cluster of young girls on the right. They look like they're saying, "OMG...LOOK...REAL LIVE DRAG QUEENS!"

As you can tell, this drag queen had a HUGE fan club. And you should have seen him posing for pictures. He moved like Cindy Crawford posing for a photo spread in Elle Magazine.

I love the look on the face of the two girls watching the drag show because you can tell they're REALLY enjoying it.

62 comments

You stay as you are, Ron, no pretence, no bragging, just you 'cause we love YOU. I get on well with gay men and lesbian women and why not ... they're people, after all. They have the same thought processes as I do. They talk the same language and quite honestly they're usually fun to be with. What I can't take to are the gay bloggers who can't talk about anything else. So, they're gay, big deal. Why do they need to drum it into us? Or are they still trying to cope with openly talking about it?

I'm one of those who believe in same sex marriages 'cause I believe in people being happy.

Your pictures show that the outfest was a lot of fun. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to copy this reply in case Disqus decides not to show it. Have a fabulous Friday and weekend.

Excellent post, Ron, backed up by fabulous photos! I think you have such a great attitude about who you are!

"And as a matter of fact, I am not proud to be gay. I’m proud of who I am, and being gay just so happens to be one part of who I am. Being gay is similar to how I feel about being Italian. I embrace and enjoy it, but it’s not my totality."

God, that just says it all, doesn't it? You're not just a label, but a unique, complex person--and a helluva nice guy, too, I might add!

Thanks for the fine images. And do you know the name of that drag queen? I want to join the fan club, too!

bwahahahaha! Love that last line! I also adore that little princess! She looked like she was just dropped there out of the sky! Totally enjoyed this post as it reminds me so very much of Key West!!! I just adore that town!! Good for you Ron...I am in agreement with just enjoying being YOU whatever YOU entails!! Have a fabulous weekend! xo Jeanne

I love any festival, so I love these photos. Festivals are always so happy and colorful.

A nice bit of synchronicity - just yesterday a patient was telling me that her one issue with the Pride festival is the conflict that can occur between participants and protestors (I'm sure the protest factor is bigger here.) She was telling me about being confronted by some hype-religious person and just calmly responding to him based on her own extensive knowledge of the Bible from growing up in a conservatively religious family. And then another person came over and got into a screaming match with the protestor. She and I agreed that the best response to hate is calmness, and that the protestors are just hoping to catch an aggressive response on camera to bolster their case. Like you, she feels like being gay is just part of who she is rather than her whole identity. Which only makes sense - who I am is so much more than who I have sex with.

Oh it looks so much fun! If you are happy in your skin and with who and what you are it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks Ron. People either love or hate other people for a variety of different reasons, being Gay could be just one of them but there are so many others. Live and let live I say, oh and I love you. xx

"And as a matter of fact, I am not proud to be gay. I’m proud of who I am, and being gay just so happens to be one part of who I am. Being gay is similar to how I feel about being Italian. I embrace and enjoy it, but it’s not my totality."- that is one of the things I love about you. You are not pretentious. You realize there are many facets that complete us. Most of all, you're comfortable in your own skin. XO

This is where I confess that I love you. ALL of you.....as is. And I'm one of those who doesn't define anyone by who they choose to sleep with for goodness sakes. How shallow is that. *sigh* It's also where I confess that I got angry reading that people still toss words your way. I think it's my being protective of people I care about, so forgive me for getting ruffled.....and I'll pray for the ignorant, threatened people--wealth, health and prosperity......and a lobotomy. k.....*breathe Mel!!*

(breathing!!)

Yup--adored the fairy photo with the iPhone. LOL Apple sales have JUST gone up again with that photo. Cuter than cute. The ever so casual arm on the squad car had me chuckling. And that last photo--small wonder they get called ankle biters....LOOK at what they get stuffed in. Poor puppy.

I love any reason to celebrate and play and have a good time. Life's too short--and chalked full of amazing things....and amazing people....with amazing stories and experiences. You're one of those amazing ones that I adore getting to rub elbows with.*hugs*

I have never been to an event like this but I have heard nothing but good things. This is really a fun post and you know what good for you for posting it. Looks like you had a fantastic time! Hope you have a great weekend!

Ron, what a wonderful post! And not only for the photos you shared, but also for your honest words. And what you shared not only pertains to being gay, but also how the world views anyone on how they look, their culture or their beliefs. It all comes down to how people view themselves, not the view we get from the world.

We can be different, but also equal.

What great photographs. I Love the girl in the cute, colorful tutu. I love to see drags shows. My girlfriends and I will sometimes go to gay club with one of our gay guy friends and have so much fun. He's a lot like you because he doesn't hide the fact that he's gay, but it doesn't make a big deal about it.

And I love the last picture of the little doggie. He's so cute! And you are so funny, Ron!

Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for sharing this with us today. XO

Brilliant post Ron. You're so right about the fun atmosphere at those events. I've been to Pride in Brighton and it was excellent. And the best night club I've ever been to, hands down, no question, was a tiny place called The Terminus in Cardiff with a dance floor the size of a postage stamp and a sound system so loud that on the opening night it blew out the blacked out windows behind the stage so they were replaced with metal shutters.Worryingly convincing transvestites too...

" So, they're gay, big deal. Why do they need to drum it into us? Or are they still trying to cope with openly talking about it?"

Thank you because you understood exactly what I was saying with this post.

"I'm one of those who believe in same sex marriages 'cause I believe in people being happy."

Yes, if people of same sex wish to get married, so be it. Personally, I'm not one who would want to get married. I don't need a legal document to validate my love for someone else. Because a legal document does not make a marriage - making a loyal commitment is a marriage to me. I also don't need to get married to show the world that I'm equal.

Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a fabulous Friday and weekend!

And thank YOU for being the COOL guy you are! Honestly, it's been an honor and joy getting to know you through our blogs. AND it was a JOY actually getting to meet you this summer!

"And do you know the name of that drag queen? I want to join the fan club, too!"

HAHAHAHHAAHHA! No, darn it, I didn't hear the name of the drag queen because I was standing on the opposite side of the street when I took those photos, so I didn't actually see the show. But isn't he faaaaaaabulous???

Isn't ANY festival fun? And it's so cool when you live in a city because you'll often see people walking by who just JOIN in the festivities!

Okay, and thank you so much for sharing what you said...

"She and I agreed that the best response to hate is calmness, and that the protestors are just hoping to catch an aggressive response on camera to bolster their case. Like you, she feels like being gay is just part of who she is rather than her whole identity. Which only makes sense - who I am is so much more than who I have sex with."

AMEN!

There was a time when I would retaliate with a verbal response whenever anyone would say a nasty remark to me on the street or even at work. But I got to a point where I thought, "Why bother? I don't need to defend myself because I have nothing to defend."

"And what you shared not only pertains to being gay, but also how the world views anyone on how they look, their culture or their beliefs. It all comes down to how people view themselves, not the view we get from the world.

We can be different, but also equal."

Amen!

" My girlfriends and I will sometimes go to gay club with one of our gay guy friends and have so much fun."

I used to go to drag shows when I lived in Florida and was going out more. But I very rarely go to them anymore. But I agree...they are SO MUCH FUN!!!!

"And I love the last picture of the little doggie. He's so cute!"

Isn't he ADORABLE??? OMG...I wanted to pick him up and HUG him! I love his cute little eyes and nose!

Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Have a wonderful weekend as well!

Hang on a sec, Ron. You're...gay?! Gasp! I had no friggin' clue. I thought "faaaaabulous" was being used to describe all the women you were busy bangin'. Man, I really have to reevaluate your whole blog now.

Kidding, my friend. I don't think of you as "gay," either. I refer to you as "blogger Ron, from Philadelphia." Sexuality should never be the sole identifier of a person, and you're such a well-rounded individual anyway, it truly doesn't matter.

Great photos. There are a lot of these events on the West Coast, too. Especially Portland and Seattle. The turnout is always impressive, and includes both gay and straight. Good times, good times.

"And the best night club I've ever been to, hands down, no question, was a tiny place called The Terminus in Cardiff with a dance floor the size of a postage stamp and a sound system so loud that on the opening night it blew out the blacked out windows behind the stage so they were replaced with metal shutters."

Sounds faaaaaaaaaaabulous, Dale!!!!!

That reminds me of a club I went to while I was living in Amsterdam one summer (I think it was called, The DKO). The thing I loved about Amsterdam was that many of the clubs were mixed - gays and straights - and that everyone respected each other's preference. And truthfully, some of the BEST dance music I EVER heard!

Looks like a fun time! That Cindy Crawford-esque queen is hot! Gay, straight, who cares? I just don't get people who can't move past the fact that we aren't all the same. It's sad for them. Love the shot in the bar from ACROSS the street. You got skeels, baby! BTW, I ordered that photography book you suggested and just got it yesterday. Can't wait to dive into it this weekend. Hope yours is great!

You said it better than I could have! We have never felt the need to shout from the rooftops who we are, any more than a straight person feels the need to.

I have never been to a gay pride event. This summer we were going to go to our very first event. A 'Pinknic in the Park'. It sounded like a lovely day, full of fun, music and mingling. I was so disappointed that on that day, the heavens opened and we had torrential rain all day. Mo and I didn't go, though many still attended.

On a slightly different topic. We once knew a chap who had a large farm and once a year he would decorate his huge barn and host the biggest 'gay' party ever. People travelled from all over Kent to be at this event. When I was first with Mo, we decided to not only go to this event, but to invite my mum, dad and sister and brother in law along. We had the best night out imaginable and my mum and dad, in their 70's even danced along. It was things like this that made me so proud of my parents and their total acceptance of people, for who they were.

I've not been keeping up with any blogs (including my own) lately, but I am going to be in Philadelphia next week with some flex time Tuesday morning - is there any chance you could break away and meet for coffee? I'm staying at the Crowne Plaza 4010 City Ave. Is your fave Starbucks walking distance?

since I read your post, wanted to leave a post related comment too :) I had a good out-day experience on Saturday. I attended a small community where I participated as a craft vendor. I met one of the other vendors, a young girl (young, as in 12 years old) and introduced her to Cristy. I just said, Audrey, I'd like you to meet my wife Cristy. Thought nothing of it. Later in the day after having a few nice conversations with her parents, I learned that their daughter was very impressed with the way that Cristy and I presented ourselves as a married couple.

I never consider that we are different from any other married couple, but the truth is we are different. Tirade for another time.

However, the gentle way we act, the way we express ourselves honestly as a loving couple is what being out is all about. No parade or flashy costumes required. Just honesty. And that was a good way to commemorate out-day. Quietly. Gently. Honestly. I was proud of us.

Philly has some truly spectacular drag queens. We had one living down the block from my apartment and she had the most AMAZING clothes, and even better, had frequent sidewalk sales so she could make room for more clothes...

You're absolutely right about it not being about being respected just for being you. I don't think it should have anything to do with exactly how a person is like or unlike everyone else. Sadly, there will probably always be bigots out there no matter how you're different. :/ The school labels still sneak back up on me occasionally ("freak" being #1, followed closely by "weirdo"). But the people who give us a hard time are the people who are not worth our time. <3

OMG...what a WONDERFUL treat to see your comment! I was wondering if you just stopped blogging because I haven't seen you around or posting over the summer. Glad to see ya back!!!

And YES! It just so happens that I have Tuesday off so I would LOVE to meet up with you. One of my other blogging friends and her husband stayed at the Crown Plaza while they were visiting Philly in July. There are several of them, so I wonder if it's the one in Center City? I will email you my phone number so you can call me before you leave so that we can make a time to meet. I will also give you directions on how to get to the Starbucks.

" I just said, Audrey, I'd like you to meet my wife Cristy. Thought nothing of it. Later in the day after having a few nice conversations with her parents, I learned that their daughter was very impressed with the way that Cristy and I presented ourselves as a married couple."

How faaabulous is that!!!!!!

"I never consider that we are different from any other married couple, but the truth is we are different. Tirade for another time."

And it's true....we are different, but different doesn't mean being UNEQUAL. I've never considered myself unequal just because I'm gay and different.

"No parade or flashy costumes required. Just honesty. And that was a good way to commemorate out-day. Quietly. Gently. Honestly. I was proud of us."

Beautiful! And that's my sentiments exactly. JUST being who you are.

Much thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings, my friend. Have a lovely weekend!

Ron, I had to laugh when I saw that poor doggie with the too-tight sweater! It probably fit him just fine when he was a puppy -- many moons ago, ha!Thank you for writing so openly and honestly. Most of the gay men I've known suffered plenty of verbal abuse during their school years, sad to say. We as a people are unkind when it comes to anybody being different. Some of that is slowly changing, but anybody who's sensitive at all knows there is much hurt still around.Love your photo of the "fairy princess" -- her tutu is amazing!Have a splendid weekend!

"We have never felt the need to shout from the rooftops who we are, any more than a straight person feels the need to."

LOVE that! And you brought up an EXCELLENT point! Straight people don't do it, so why should we?

" A 'Pinknic in the Park'. It sounded like a lovely day, full of fun, music and mingling. I was so disappointed that on that day, the heavens opened and we had torrential rain all day. Mo and I didn't go, though many still attended."

Aw shucks, sorry the weather interfered. There are usually TWO gay pride events here in Philly each year. One in June and one in October. The one in June is down along the Delaware River, the one in October is all throughout the streets, not far from where I live. I like the one in October because the weather is much cooler.

"We had the best night out imaginable and my mum and dad, in their 70's even danced along. It was things like this that made me so proud of my parents and their total acceptance of people, for who they were."

Okay, that TOTALLY made me SMILE! Your parents sounded AWESOME, Babs! And the party sounded awesome as well!

Much thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a most excellent weekend!

" and she had the most AMAZING clothes, and even better, had frequent sidewalk sales so she could make room for more clothes..."

HA! OMG....I LOVE that!!!!!!

" Sadly, there will probably always be bigots out there no matter how you're different. But the people who give us a hard time are the people who are not worth our time. "

What you said it so true. There will ALWAYS be bigots no matter how you're different - whether it's someones's weight, color, gender, culture, etc. But it's as you shared, these people are not worth our time.

Much thanks for stopping by, Mitch. Always a delight to see you. Have a spectacular weekend!

Ron, I applaud you for speaking out so honestly about how you feel on this topic because there are other gay people, like myself, who feel the same way.

"I don’t hide it, nor do I make a big deal about it by making it my main focus."

The more we make a big deal about, the more it appears that there is something wrong with us. So many gays insist that the world accept them, but I often wonder if why they insist this is that they don't accept themselves. Like you, I have never demanded that the world accept me for being gay because then it appears to be an issue with ME. I have always seen myself just like everyone else. I may be different, but I'm still equal.

"I can say more from not saying anything and just being myself."

I feel the same way.

Thank you for sharing this post, Ron. And I love your photos too. The one of the little red sweater doggie is so sweet. You are so funny!

"The more we make a big deal about, the more it appears that there is something wrong with us. I have never demanded that the world accept me for being gay because then it appears to be an issue with ME."

Brilliant! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that, and my sentiments exactly! The more focus I give it, the more it appears to be an issue with ME. And even though I had rough time when I was younger; being verbally bullied, I always just excepted that I was gay. I honestly never had a problem with it because it always felt natural and a part of who I was.

"The one of the little red sweater doggie is so sweet."

Isn't he adorable? I love his cute little eyes and nose. I was happy that those photos came out because I took them so fast.

Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post, buddy. Have a FANTABULOUS weekend!

i agree with you in that you are just ron to me. nothing more than a person i consider a friend. i don't announce i'm a black female and a single parent, i'm valerie and nothing like you will ever meet again and nobody cares. i'm a decent person and i care for my friends and family. i'm me. titles don't define me so i rarely or never use them. no big deal, we're all human and let's keep it moving. next.

I share your feeling of pride in who you are. I'm bald but, I don't feel the need to make an issue out of it. However, if I do organize a 1 million shiny head march, I hope you'll join us for our support. I'll be the one wearing SPF 728,000 because sunburn up there sucks.

What fun! I absolutely love that shot of the fairy princess texting and the expressions on the faces in the crowd. Amen to what you said. We should be defined by who we are as the total package, not just the wrapping.

It's so ironic you mentioned that because that's one of the things I immediately notice in a photograph - the expressions on the faces of those in the background, because they can often be the most interesting thing in a photograph.

"We should be defined by who we are as the total package, not just the wrapping."

"You must have one hell of a camera for those long distance shots. Looks like you are IN that bar!"

I just got this camera over the summer and love it because the ZOOM lens is awesome. My other camera was a good one, but the zoom was not very powerful. I had a Nikon before, now I have a Canon. I actually like both brands, but the Canon has a manual mode as well.

Isn't the fairy princess faaaaaaaabulous? Love the bright-color tutu and that she's just standing there TEXTING - HA!

I LOVE these photos Ron !!!Each one is a story I adore drag queens, they have the biggest hearts and the most wonderful aurasI'm so glad those young girls had open hearts and minds, makes me happythe first shot made me think of Carrie Bradshaw

For the past several months I've really been getting into taking photographs with people in them, because like you shared, they tell a story. Often the people in the background of a photo are more interesting than the focal point.

"I'm so glad those young girls had open hearts and minds, makes me happy."

Oh Dianne, you should have seen them enjoying the drag queens, it was like they couldn't get enough of them. And the drag queens were eating it up; posing for photographs and talking to the girls. FUN time!

"the first shot made me think of Carrie Bradshaw"

BINGO! Thank you for sharing that because you're right, it does look like Carrie Bradshaw in the open credits to Sex and the City!!!!!!

Heh...that looked like a blast! There's an annual gay pride parade here in San Diego. I went to it once years ago, and the girlfriend I had at the time and I had a great time! There was a Cher impersonator there, and he looked and sounded *exactly* like a young Cher. After his set he got a huge ovation from the crowd. Sure, some of the people there were over the top, but you get those types no matter what venue to happen to be at.

"I LOVE this photo because it felt like I spotted a magical fairy princess who had suddenly landed on earth."

OMG! She really does!!

"And notice the cluster of young girls on the right. They look like they're saying, "OMG...LOOK...REAL LIVE DRAG QUEENS!" Yes!! I am dying at the expression on the face of the girl with the teal iPhone!

"Is this doggie not the most precious little thing? He's like, "Please get this fucking red sweater OFF ME, it's too TIGHT!"

I understand because I do realize how that can be an obstacle. About a year ago, I pulled my lower back out and oh my god, I couldn't move for DAYS. And thank god it was a period when I was not working because I literally couldn't move enough to get out of my apartment. Oy Vey!