International cyclists to be tested for Viagra-use

In an attempt to “Clean-up” the image of Lycra-clad international cyclists, testing for Viagra is to be introduced for the coming season. One official told us how the current image tended to make many men, mere mortals feel inadequate in the trouser department.

My wife once twisted my arm into going to the ballet. As our seats put our heads at about the dancer's waist height, (thankfully at some distance), nothing could be overlooked. The male dancers seemed to all have extra supplies of socks stashed in an unusual place. I went home feeling slightly depressed; she, it seemed, was strangely elated. Never did find out why.