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Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Kids Throw Up In Public Restrooms

A couple of years ago Eden went and spent the weekend with
Uncle Bug and he took her to the Omaha zoo. She was gone for roughly 48
hours and I had no influence over her diet for the weekend whatsoever. Uncle Bug
said he tried to eat healthier than usual, and I know she had her uncle wrapped
around her finger so she got lots of treats. Which is fine! We knew that would
probably happen!

He brought her back to Kearney on Sunday afternoon and met
us at Pane Bello (like Panera but not as amazing). We were all sitting there
talking and Eden was silent. I looked at her and saw someone as close to green
as I’ve ever seen. At her first whine of ‘throw up’ we rushed into the
bathroom.

It was a Sunday lunch. The restaurant was full. Chances of
an open stall? Nada. I stood there with her for a second not knowing what to do
while a mom who recognized our plight urged her daughter to hurry up and get
out of the stall. It didn’t help.

Eden started to throw up before I could get her to the sink.
All over the floor. Bathroom full of people. It was epic. Oh, and did I mention
that she had drank a Bug Juice on the way home. A blue one. (Shudder)

Fast forward to yesterday. Eden and Adaleine and I all had
dentist appointments. Adaleine had mentioned a couple times that morning that
she didn’t feel well, but I chalked it up to boredom or something like that and
let it go. She made it through the morning and our dentist appointments and we
were all happily on our way to Arby’s for a quick lunch before taking Eden back
to school.

After ordering our lunches, I looked down at Adaleine to
find her with tears streaming down her face and her lips clamped shut. Someone
in my head shouted an expletive (I take no responsibility!) and we rushed to
the bathroom.

She almost made it. She was so close! So terribly close…but
not close enough. She threw up all over the floor of the stall. Then on the
toilet seat. Then in the toilet. It was—again—epic. Poor thing.

Adaleine’s feeling fine now and everything. I just thought
I’d share with you how awesome it is to see the teenage kid coming around the
corner with a mop and bucket to clean up your child’s vomit. I know they hate
me a little bit, no matter how much I apologize. Sorry, teenage vomit-cleaner!
I wish I could promise it won’t happen again, but somehow I don’t think I can make
those guarantees.