The 2-on-1 date is going to be "so difficult" for Jake, but he's "going to do what my heart tells me." By his heart, he means Chris and Mike Fleiss. Minus 9.

Jake tries to act like this scene was totally spontaneous.

Jessie totally pulls a Jake Pavelka on Jake Pavelka, who is now in Jillian Harris' position. Jessie "warns" Jake about Vienna 'cause she cares SO MUCH! Plus 6.

Besides how much Vienna supposedly sucks, the big narrative producers are beating into our skulls this season is that Jake is, like, really serious about finding a wife. As opposed to other Bachelor stars who are there for what reason? Minus 11.

To that end, Jake boots both girls after the 2-on-1 date. Deep in thought, he then SETS THE ROSE ON FIRE! Plus 12 for that staged, but hilarious moment.

At the rose ceremony, he calls time out! Minus 5, because you shouldn't be able to do that. He wants to cut an extra girl. Understanding pimp Chris agrees.

The final rose goes to ... Vienna Girardi! Plus 8 for dragging that inevitable result out as long as humanly possible to mess with us - and royally piss off Ali.