What I Learned from Craigslist

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Y’all I have met so many people on Craigslist. No, no, no I don’t mean on the personals section. I think that’s odd, but hey it’s the 21st century so whatever floats your boat. I have, however, met people on Craigslist since I’ve been buying and selling furniture. I use to think it was weird. I use to say “if I can’t find it for cheap at Ikea then I don’t want it.” But boy do I have news for you. Craigslist is the best thing that happened to me since the all strawberry pack of Mentos. It has so many treasures. It’s also crazy how you can have lengthy conversations with someone you don’t even know. This is who I met and this is what they taught me.

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Sriman

Sriman was selling two black Stefan chairs. I met him in Buckhead. He was the first person I ever met with on Craigslist and I was terrified. He wanted to meet at 7 after work, but it was fall so it was pretty dark. He lived at a very nice complex so I thought it’d be okay-killers can’t live in fancy apartments right? I know my logic was stupid, but he ended up being as sweet as he could be. I tried to pay him and he insisted on putting the chairs in the car first. Twenty dollars later I had two new kitchen chairs. Thanks Sriman, you gave me the courage to keep doing craigslist.

Rupan

Rupan also lived in Buckhead. He had a wife, a three year old, and a 4 month old. I was buying a gorgeous mirror from him. He was moving out west for a new job. He was more than hospitable. He made me take my shoes off and then asked if I was thirsty. I wasn’t. After that he told me how much he loved Atlanta. “It’s unlike anywhere I’ve been before” he kept saying. He told me about his new job and told me if I ever get a better job offer in another city I should take it even if I don’t like the place. We ended the Craigslist exchange by going to the rooftop to see the view. He insisted and I had a friend with me so I said , “don’t mind if I do!” For the record, that rooftop was awesome. Thanks Rupan for the career advice-even if I don’t take it.

Mike

As his name suggests Mike was pretty darn friendly. Have you ever met an unfriendly Mike? (That’s a rhetorical question, but I bet you’re thinking of all the Mikes you know now). Mike sold me a black coffee table from Pottery Barn. It’s super cute. The table was $55 and when I gave him $60 he said we had to walk to Kroger to get change. Well, it was a sunny day and Rupan and Sriman were so lovely so off we walked. Mike has three kids, he hates broken shopping carts, and he drives a Tahoe. His wife wanted a new table for the living room and he was redoing his house because his wife said so. Thanks Mike for giving me change and confirming my belief that women get what they want.

Sarah and Lauren

Sarah and Lauren were a Lesbian couple who ended up living right down the street. They weren’t that talkative, but Sarah did help carry that heavy chair down into my car. They were basically having an open house. There were a lot of people in there. Lauren was selling the chair because there wouldn’t be room for her chair and Sarah’s in their new place. Thanks Lauren for showing me sacrifice in love. I might not have done that. I might say “you sell YOUR chair!” And I might have even called the other chair ugly.

Tim

Tim was selling his bookcase. I think Tim actually ripped me off because I bought the thing for 50 and it was basically the same price online. I had to ride in the elevator with Tim which was uncomfortable. Where does one run? Tim you didn’t really do much, but thanks for teaching me how to be tricky on craigslist.Everyone needs to know the game even if you don’t play it.

Jordan

Jordan was nice-very very nice. She gave her couch away for free, but I picked it up at 9pm and she didn’t know me from Adam. She left the doors to her house unlocked and she was downstairs packing when I arrived. Even though I am both scrawny and harmless, I think it was very dumb for her to invite strangers into her house after 5. Thanks Jordan for showing me what NOT to do.

Mrs. Levington

Mrs. Levington “just adored my wicker chair.” It would be “the most adorable thing ever in her daughter’s dorm.” Mrs. Levington got lost like eight times coming to my apartment because she was “just a country gal!” She and her husband finally made it and they were both very pleasant. Mr. Levington said “I have nothing to do with this, just tell me how much.” Thanks Mrs. Levington for teaching me what to look for in a husband. I ‘m kidding. Thanks for encouraging me to explore schools further. What college dorm room can fit a chair?!

Matt

I couldn’t get a good vibe online with Matt. I kept signing my name as Rob so he’d imagine a big, strong man. Hey, if Tim could be tricky so could I. Matt wanted my white dresser. I made sure my roommate was home when he came (safety is numbers even if y’all are both scrawny). We pushed the dresser down the hall and stood in the middle of the hallway so he wouldn’t know exactly where we lived. Cowardly or genius? Jury is still out. Matt showed up with his girlfriend. As soon as I saw her I relaxed. Sue me, stereotypes are alive. Anyway, they were cool. They were the least talkative and they gave me money and left. I felt like a cheap date. Rupan shouldn’t have set the standards so high. I was at least expecting small talk. Thanks Matt for reminding me that business is business.

Beth

Beth is doing the absolute most. She wants my bookshelf, but will it rain tomorrow? She wants my bookshelf, but what are the dimensions? She wants my bookshelf, but is it black black or black brown? She wants my bookshelf, but how will she get it into her car? She wants my bookshelf, but if the painters are still at her house then she can’t pick it up today! Beth is extra, but I like her so I told her I’d hold it for her. Beth was so grateful. Thanks Beth for being you. You’re funny without trying to be.

hello hello heloo

Finally after my two-year Craigslist journey of buying and selling in Atlanta I go to http://newyork.craigslist.org/. My first encounter is with Daniel. I continue to sign my name Rob and I change my major. Like I said, stereotypes are alive and real. So what if online I become a 35 year old man with a business degree from NYU? I want Daniel’s dresser. I start sounding a lot like Beth. I want the dresser, but what condition is it in? I want the dresser, but can I pick it up on Thursday? I guess my fake profile wasn’t good enough. Daniel’s response “Sorry Rob. I sold it while you were thinking.” Thanks Daniel for reminding me that I’m not in Georgia anymore.