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Friday, January 8, 2010

the punk rock BLOW OFF

Hmmm, let's see. If we all stuck by the "don't date a musician rule" we wouldn't have songs like "In Your Eyes" or "Rosanna" (although Rosanna Arquette is not currently with Peter Gabriel or the keyboard player of Toto). BUT hold up, Gwen & Gavin are going strong and they are so darn cute together! (true, but we strongly believe Gwen mastered the art of turning a blind eye. At least in the 90s when Bush was still popular). What's a music lover to do?

I once made the mistake of briefly dating a punk rocker. We were both baristas at the same cafe and I had a massive crush on him. Our days of making lattes together evolved into a make out session that evolved into the very early stages of dating. Of course, as my timing would have it, the dating part happened about a week before punk rocker was going on tour. I should have been worried, but I wasn't.

Maybe it was cause I saw his band play and they were pretty bad. At the risk of sounding 80 years old, it was more like noise, less like music. Also, he actually looked kind of awkward and weird playing guitar. Like John Mayer, but way worse. Plus, he seemed super into me. And I liked him enough to vehemently defend his tattoos to my parents. What could go wrong?

He even sent me a letter while he was on tour. The envelope was made of tape and a page from a magazine. After all, he wasn't just a punk rocker, but also an anarchist. And everyone knows anarchist's DO NOT pay for envelopes. The letter was sweet and thoughtful. He said he missed me a lot and wished he could be with me instead of on the road. I would quote it directly, but I have a habit of getting rid of everything given to me by guys who've blown me off.

Once he came back from tour, things got weird. He said things like "i'm too messed up to be in a relationship" and "i don't deserve you." I wanted to tell him that of course a guy that has the words "destiny" and "love" tattooed on his forearms doesn't deserve me, but why split hairs?

A couple weeks later, I went into work and one of my co-workers told me that Punk Rocker had been by the cafe with his new girlfriend (but I thought he was too messed up to be in a relationship...) that he had met while he was ON TOUR.

I confronted him for lying and told him never to speak to me again. Eventually, I got over it and we resumed being friends, until he moved to somewhere like Portland to live in a warehouse with twelve other anarchists. A few years ago one of my friends ran into him and said he looked emaciated and smelled really bad. Serves him right.

So, musicians are tricky. I can't say my experience is reason enough to avoid them, but i will say it's not a bad rule to proceed with caution. Unless of course Justin Timberlake asks you out on a date...then by all means, get. it. done. (Although why does Jessica Biel always look so miserable?)

about the blow off

We've all been blown off, we've all blown someone off. Share your story: the blow off texts, emails, voice mail messages you've either sent or received to mark the end of a relationship. And if the blow off consisted of a disappearing act, post a missing person's report. Or just read stories about break ups in general.