Of
course I know that you are reading my blog entries. It’s useless to hide
yourself, you know. I can identify those who are reading my blog entries even
if you are not a member here in Xanga. Because when I look at my “footprints”
page, there’s this occasional visitor labeled Philippines: Safari. For all I
know, you are the only one who has an Apple thingamaginga laptop which uses the
Safari web browser.

Anyway,
I have something to say to you. I miss you a lot. And I’ve been waiting for
your text, YM—-and I can’t help it but be angry when you don’t reply. I know
you call it hellweek ((i’d rather call it hell period since it lasted more than
a week)) but even when you’re busy you’ll always have time to do something you
like. Humility aside, you’re lucky that I’m your girlfriend and not most of the
friends I know. The thing is: if you were their boyfriend, you’d be walking
alone right now. They go crazy when their boyfriend fell asleep when it’s their
schedule to call or text ((EVERY FREAKING DAY!)). You’re lucky that I followed
your request and went all the way to your place, with the motivation of you
saying that you simply needed me there.

I
just ask for small things. When there are times that we are both online in
Yahoo! Messenger, I wish that at least you’d say “hi” to me ((Believe me, you
ignored me two times already—-tallying as of October 2, 2008)) and “bye” when
appropriate.

Part 2 of 3

I
really remembered you saying that sorry if you’re not romantic. But you’re
wrong. You are romantic. Or at least you were. I remembered that you once gave
me a bouquet of flowers even when at that time we were still not talking in
high school. When you gave me teddy bears ((they miss you, there are in my
closet back at home)) and teddy dogs ((I sleep with the dog that your sister
gave me; and sometimes with Lance [you gave that to me October 18 when we were
sophomores]—but he’s a boy so he’s not really allowed to be in bed with me)),
that was sweet. Also when you gave me roses almost every week ((they are still
preserved in my closet too))….when you wrote me letters and you told me that
you really don’t know how to write.

But
you don’t have to spend to be romantic, I liked it when you ask me if I was
angry—-and because you look so pitiful, I forget that I am feeling furious
because I tend to forget the reason. Even if you tell me that my cheeks are so
chubby that you’d want to slice them off and eat it for breakfast seemed nice
to me ((although it’s violent)).

Part 3 of 3

Anyways,
a simple text and YM message would always seem sweet and romantic to me. Even
if it is only weekly that you text me—-I’ll be happy.

My
friends ask me how could I carry on even if you don’t text me often and we
won’t see each other during sembreak or summer. And I just smile and say, it’s
okay. But in reality every time I say that, it just hurts me a lot because it’s
not okay.

When
you fail to say “I love you” to me about four times, it’s really okay with me.
But when you fail to say that more than four times, I begin to doubt it.
Because you’re the type of guy who never tells me completely what you think.
And I’m afraid that what you’re doing is to give me a hint that you want to
quit our relationship—-and the problem is that I can’t take the hint.

Sorry
for the long letter. I just get tired that’s all.

Maybe
you can come here in Dumaguete and have an unlimited supply of isaw in this
place called Manang Siony’s. The place looks medieval but hey, the food is
great.

Chai-Chai

P.S.

I
admit I’m very overacting—exaggerating things most of the time but hey, that’s
just me. I jump to conclusions too many times to count. So sorry about that.