There are literally dozens of eating competitions taking place this weekend and the infamous Z Burger in the D.C. area got things started yesterday with its burger-eating competition. The rules were simple. Eat the most burgers, win the money. But emotions erupted as one competitor (yep, he’s Canadian) claimed the winner had piles of breading floating in his drink cup. Of course overall guy was slightly pissed at frosted tips’ crazy accusations. TIME FOR AN EAT-OFF! JUMP!

The top two finalists got into each other’s faces after last year’s winner Pete Czerwinski accused Dale Boone of cheating by leaving parts of a burger in the water cup he had been soaking the sandwiches in.

Competitive eaters often soak their food in water in order to speed up the consuming process.

Another contestant argued he had won the competition, claiming to have eaten 17 burgers. He was disqualified because he couldn’t hold down his burgers during the competition.

A “burger-off” ensued, with Czerwinski coming out on top, eating 17 burgers over 10 minutes.

Hey, Pete, hope those weren’t sliders. Going to be a long weekend on the toilet back home in Canada, bro. Hope that $1,700 was worth it.

What the hell is this? 6,000 people turned out Thursday night for bowling at Cowboys Stadium? That’s right, it’s the new push from bowling officials and ESPN to take a women’s sport and make it a moneymaker. Remember women’s golf? Yeah, it’s history. Too many Asians infiltrating the sport so viewers are losing interest. But bowling is still a cheap sport to produce and lots of white Americans play. Time to make it a spectacle! Enter ESPN – stage right.

Tonight at 6 p.m. you’ll be required to turn on ESPN2 for the U.S. Women’s Open and at least ogle the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, who just happened to be in town to make this event more TV friendly.

This whole production was the brainchild of Steve Johnson, the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America’s new executive director. He came on board in time for last year’s Open — held in a bowling alley, of all places — and was uninspired by the experience.

“So I said, ‘Where can we showcase the best women athletes from all over the world?’ Cowboys Stadium! We built this thing to be the pinnacle, where any woman bowler would love to come to Cowboys Stadium and win this U.S. Open.”

For that to happen, Johnson needed to convince everyone that women’s bowling belonged on the same field as Super Bowl XLV. He said there were “still skeptics,” even as the finalists warmed up on Thursday night. “But if someone’s not on board with this now, something’s wrong. Because this may be one of the best things that’s ever happened to bowling.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. The even stranger part of all this is how 6,000 people paid $20 per to attend. So wait, you make us sit 40 rows up where we can’t see a bowling ball hitting pins and we can’t smoke Marlboros and drink $1 draft Busch Light? What the hell is this world coming to?

While there have been many sad moments in the life of JaMarcus Russell (like burning through 1st-overall cash) is the fact that the house he has for sale in Oakland is now online for all to see. That’s usually not embarrassing, but when your worthless jersey is still hanging above the fireplace, it signals failure. Just a hunch – Tom Brady doesn’t have one of his framed jerseys hanging above his fireplace.

The Purple Drank House includes:

• 5884 sq. ft.

• 4 garages!

• 6 bed, 5 bath

• Quiet, Serene and Private Living. Stunning views of the Bay

• A JaMarcus Russell jersey if want it

• $1,600,000

That’s roughly $10,000 per month with 10% down. Good luck finding a bank to let you throw 10% down on $1.6mm these days. Zillow has this pad estimated to be worth $2.6mm so don’t wait. Snatch it and save JaMarcus from losing it to the bank.

Well, hot damn, look who makes an appearance on the Internets today. Now, we’ve checked and this is the world blog debut of Roger Clemens this week at the Victoria, Texas Hooters Tour stop with golfer Chris Erwin and beer cart girls. Not his first rodeo with the Victoria Texas Open pro-am day, but it is the first time we’ve ever seen Roger goosing a Hooters chick on the same day the Supreme Court ruled against him.

The Supreme Court won’t revive baseball star Roger Clemens’ lawsuit against his former personal trainer for claiming he injected the pitcher with steroids and human growth hormones.

The high court on Tuesday refused to hear an appeal from the seven-time Cy Young winner, who has an upcoming perjury trial in Washington.

The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals threw out Clemens’ defamation suit against his longtime trainer Brian McNamee, saying a Texas federal court didn’t have jurisdiction over Clemens’ claims involving statements McNamee made in New York.

Clemens wanted that decision overturned, but the high court refused to take up the case.