V Festival: the best… and the very worst.

Ahh V Festival. The one festival of the year where waking up and seeing girls in the campsite with false eyelashes on, rollers in their hair and pink velour tracksuits is the norm. However, the 2013 line up was pretty sensational if you’re into your pop music, as I am. So here’s the best and the worst of the weekend – with one killer disappointment, just to stir things up.

Number One: THE STEREOPHONICS

The boys from the valleys have been around for decades, and it was clear to see why. Because Kelly is gorgeous… Only kidding. The rocky vocals just exist to please a live crowd. With the sun setting over the main stage, classics such as Thousand Trees, Have a Nice Day and Maybe Tomorrow made me feel so inherently happy and content with the world. I was content with life. Not to mention Dakota being one of my favourite soft-pop-rock anthems of all time.

Just don’t hate – I know they are not ‘cool’ or ‘indie’ or ‘happening’ or whatever you music kids say. They were, however, my ultimate crowd pleaser of the weekend. Their catchy pop repertoire means that everyone can have a good old boogie and sing along. Plus, their extensive range of number ones such as 5 Colours in Her Hair, All About You, Obviously, Star Girl… The list is endless. Song of the set: Love is Easy because in my inebriated state, it made me cry about how much I loved my friends.

The American superstars were flawless. Since their huge hit Sex on Fire, which my best friend once called ‘the song of our generation’, KOL have only escalated in popularity and rightly so. Mellow yet rocky, with a country twang, and with lyrics which strike a chord deep within, it was my favourite headline act of the weekend. Favourites? On Call, Molly’s Chambers and, of course, the closing number Sex on Fire.

Unabashedly not a Two Door fan, I was immensely surprised at how many of their songs I knew. Poppy, good for dancing, and having been so brainwashed inadvertently by the radio – I knew all the words. Highlight for me was the lead singer Alex Trimble swanning about in a powder blue suit and a large glass of white wine. Best tune: What You Know.

In a weekend dominated by boybands, Paloma shone through like a shooting star. Someone I’ve been eager to see live for a really long time, she didn’t disappoint. Unlike most live acts, not only was she captivating on stage, but she sang better than on her records. Dolled up in a spectacular red gown with the most gorgeously elaborate high heels I have ever seen, she owned every part of the stage her dainty physique touched. Her ghetto fabulous, soul/gospel backing singers were another highlight – and an all female band is something I have a lot of time for. New York and Just Be had me belting along, but it is Picking Up the Pieces I was still humming around the office today.

I hate Jessie J. I have always hated Jessie J. I thought she was annoying on The Voice, I thought her Instagram posts were annoying, I thought she was up her own arse and, well, annoying. Cue my surprise of the weekend. I thought Jessie J was going to be an endurance test – someone I had to stand and wait through until Beyonce came along. But NO! Got the crowd pumping, grabbing their crotches and her vocals were insaaaaaaaaaaaaaane. Jessie, I take my hate off to you. My fave: Do it like a Dude. Just because I could crotch grab.

Why did I buy tickets for V Fest? Purely to see Beyonce. I waited for 6 hours to see Beyonce. I passed out in the crowd for Beyonce due to extreme conditions. But Beyonce was 20 minutes late. And when she was on stage, she had (in an hour long set by the time she got there) 5 costume changes. She played about 7 promotional videos and clips, each between 2-5 minutes. Which rendered her actual time on stage to about 45 minutes, 20 of which she spent dancing. Don’t get me wrong, she looked sensational. She danced like a dream. And her vocals were flawless. There just wasn’t enough of her! She didn’t sing one complete song from start to finish, and that was why she is my biggest disappointment. If she had sung everything like Halo, Naughty Girl and I Will Always Love You, I’d have been chuffed.

The One Band You Will Never, Ever In Your Whole Entire Life Need To See: THE SCRIPT

Having seen The Script a heinous four times, every time as a support act for who I want to see (this time Queen Bey Bey) – I can say with my hand on my heart that if I have to see them one more time, I might rip my ears off in preference. Easily the worst band I have ever seen. The fact that the guitarist wore ‘skousers’, a strange combination of skirt and trousers and Danny (that annoying twat off of The Voice) had a wallet chain indicates their dubious morals. The song that made me want to go home? Hall of Fame. Worst. Song. Ever.