Keeping Her Happy

Recently a friend tweeted, “You can never make a woman happy.” Of course, all the men chimed in and retweeted this statement affirming its validity that is indeed impossible for a man to make a woman happy.

Of course, this is not true. It is rather easy to make a woman happy. Her favorite candy, a sweet mid-day text, or a big, long hug are all easy, reasonable ways to make women happy. In essence, a little thoughtfulness goes a long way with women. I think we can all agree on this.

KEEPING her happy—well that is entirely different story. Women have very short memories and convenient amnesia, so whatever a man did last week has already been forgotten. It is not because it wasn’t sweet, thoughtful, or whatever sacrifice wasn’t appreciated either. However, the process of keeping a woman happy is literally a never-ending process.

Usually when you think of long, never-ending processes, you associate the task as hard and tedious. However, as stated before, it is easy. A man just has to keep doing it. Men have a tendency to begin a relationship by going all out. He opens all doors, plans nice dates, calls and texts often, and is willing to do whatever is needed to secure his position in your life. Two months into the relationship all of the wooing is gone. Where does the woo go?? A woman who has become accustomed to certain behaviors from a man expects that treatment to always be the case. In addition to the things a man does initially, as the relationship progresses, the expectations of what a man should contribute to her life grow as well.

Initially it can seem like a lot, but a relationship should be treated as any other living creature. You have to feed it, tend to it, trim it and make sure it has a nurturing environment in which both the individuals and the couple collectively can grow. You can’t expect a plant to continue to live if its owner expects the water it gave it last month to be sufficient for this month. Whenever that person decides to go back and check on that plant, it will be dead. Relationships are the same way. Both men and women must check in, but it seems to come more naturally for women. By time a man realizes he needs to check in, it may be too late.

The key to keeping a woman happy is simply for a man to be consistent in his care. If she is happy, then she will go through great lengths to keep her man happy.

I disagree again…. to an extent. Yes relationships are work, and yes relationships are living, growing entities, but I don’t think the key is never-ending cycle of morale boosters.

Relationships are less like plants and more like people, given that they are the product of people. In the infancy stages, you have to feed the relationship everything, or it will not be able to sustain itself. It needs constant food and care. But as it gets older, these small things become but mere snacks, which will NOT benefit the relationship in the long run because the relationship now needs MEALS. So a text to say, “hey, you’re beautiful” will eventually get old if he’s not ready to say “hey, marry me” and “hey, be with me forever” and “hey, thanks for being the mother of my wonderful children.”

Making a woman happy IS simple, KEEPING her happy is as well, as long as you’re relationship is growing. The key is to not rush it too fast and try to take an infant relationship and make it eat “big people food” it can’t digest and it will crumble.

The plant was a metaphor. Plants grow as well and require more nutrients, bigger pots, more soil, more light, more water the bigger they get as well. I believe the stage in the relationship is less important than the stage the individuals are in life. When I was in high school, it took less to keep me happy than it does now. And the same for men, the same thing that appeases you when you are a 15 shouldn’t be the same at 25. So if the people are growing and vested in the relationship then of course the relationship will grow. As a grown woman, i don’t want snacks to hold me over at any point in relationships. I expect any person stepping up to the plate- personally, professionally, and spiritually are serving full meals because I am grown. No, happy meals over here. I don’t even like McDonalds.