Has your twitter feed become an unhealthy, sad, hollow wasteland of anger and anxiety?

Same. That's why I made...

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(monster truck voice)

FollowReset

Start fresh. Unfollow EVERYONE.

Clean your feed.

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*SPITS OUT DRINK*
Sorry what's that now?

Everyone you follow on Twitter — GONE.

That’s right. Clean. Like crystal, baby. No more. Nada, nunca, zilch, finito. Purge every last one of those tweeps from your home feed. (not permanently though….read on).

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What gives? Why would I want to start over?

Twitter used to be fun, useful, informative, even weird. Like, good weird. Tim & Eric weird. But Twitter has a way of progressively degrading in quality as you follow more people, or inadvertently create a very small intellectual circle followers. Maybe your Twitter became too angry. Or one day you woke up and everyone you follow is trying to be a "thought leader". Yikes. Time to reset.

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Bb…but…where will all my *sniffle sniffle* friends go?

They’ll be fine. So will you. We’re all gonna be fine. Right?! RIGHT!?

Yea. Sure buddy.

Look — we’ll figure this thing out, together. Because at the end of the day we’re essentially all just barely evolved apes hurling through space on this blue ro—

LISTS. TWITTER LISTS YOUR FRIENDS GO TO A LIST.
Your old friends will be moved to a Twitter List (Twitter Lists! Yes! Still a thing!). This makes it easy to find people from your old feed you want to follow again.

Note: this is a paid upgrade that costs $5.

Lists are kind of like Twitter’s version of a nursing home 30 miles out of town. You can still get to it if you really want to, but BOY is it a lot of work. (OK, not like laying bricks "work", but, you know, like, digital work. Basically you have to think about it. Hard, I know.)

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What about my followers? Will I lose those too?

Good god no! What must you think of me? I'm not a sadist.

Also, I um...don't have that kind of power.

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But...WHY did you build this?

*LONG, DEEP SIGH. SHAKES HEAD*

I…………..have no idea.

I went for a run one day and thought about how great Twitter used to be, and what an honest-to-god octo-horned nightmare my feed became, and how unhappy it made me when I opened it, and maybe starting with a fresh feed will make this broken egg (that’s Twitter in this god-awful “please kill me now” run-on metaphor) whole again.

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Wow. This is JUST ridicu--

Dude. I know.

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Wow. You read all this way?

Wow, that’s like….seriously that’s just like….so AWESOME.

Honestly, we need more people like you. Readers. Deep thinkers. You know, long-form content, and stuff……….Podcasts??

But hey, I get it. You like tweets too. Because Twitter was fun once. And now you need some new tweets, because what you’ve got now is just, like….too much.

Ok, honestly, you can stop reading.

For real. You won't learn anything from here on out. This is all for Google's search robots to learn more about how Follow Reset makes it easy for you to reset your Twitter feed and start fresh by unfollowing the people you currently follow on Twitter.

What's a Twitter?

Oh, Googlebot! You're HILARIOUS. Twitter is social network where lots of people now go to express outrage, and some Russian people go there to spread lies about America. But interesting people congregate there too to share interesting and useful things they've seen all over the internet. Also people talk about cryptocurrencies there, which, just...enough already.

So if I reset my Twitter feed and unfollow people there I'll be....happier?

Yes, exactly Googlebot! By unfollowing everyone you currently follow, you get a fresh start on your Twitter feed. You can then re-follow anyone you want. A fresh start. Clean living.

And as a bonus, all the people you used to follow will be moved to a twitter lists, a fantastic but underused feature. So, we're not completely purging your Twitter friends, we're just moving them to a peaceful Twitter list, where they can live peacefully on a farm and keep an organic vegetable garden and an outdoor oven. You know, the simple life.

Will a clean Twitter feed improve my life?

Oh ABSOLUTELY Googlebot. You'll sleep better, you'll lose 60 pounds, have more energy, become financially free, and best of all, you'll have no idea what Kanye West is thinking.

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Made by @ajsharp with gusto and panache in oppressively sunny California.