I can't believe anyone would want to read this

The adventures of a gainfully employed, divorced, 50 year old, vegetarian, twin, Jackson Browne loving, two time breast cancer surviviving, step mother, who is probably going to wind up being the crazy lady in the mobile home park who knits matching sweaters and tams for her herd of cats.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Vacation log #1

Last night at about 11:00 I discovered that I don't have a single pair of Levi's that fit my ever expanding hind quarters. I haven't worn jeans for a couple of months because it's been so hot so it was a complete and total surprise when I tried on all 3 pairs of my Levi's and couldn't button any of them. It's been in the mid 70's and pouring rain in London the last couple of days so I should be a real hit in my shorts! I'm hoping that Tori will have a spare pair of jeans that I can borrow. It'd like to think that I could buy a new pair in Europe but my last couple of visits have shown me that I do not fit in European clothes and now that I've gained a ton of weight I'm sure it will be even more obvious.

After I got done throwing a fit over my lack of Levi's I discovered that a bottle of shampoo had exploded inside my carry-on bag that matches my suitcase. This carry on bag was designed to fit on the handle of my suitcase so it didn't flop around and it looked so nice...Now I'm going to have to use a beach bag that is bright yellow and I'm sure it will be flappin' in the breeze as I walk through the airport.

As I was packing and Rebekah was going through her suitcase trying to eliminate things that she might not need...we had a lot of help as shown in the picture below:

That's Elijah inside the suitcase and Lorenzo beside it. No matter how many times we made Elijah move he was right back in there .2 seconds later. When Rebekah finally picked him up and put him on the couch...Stella has already taken Elijah's place inside the suitcase. Then this morning they all had to take turns sitting on top of the suitcases. I always imagine that they are thinking that if they hold on tight enough then they can go with me!

Before we left this morning I put Ashleigh in a huge dog crate. I know for certain that if I hadn't done this I would never have seen her again. The girl who is taking care of the kitties would never have been able to get Ashleigh back in the house if she got outside when I was gone. I hope Ashleigh thinks she has her own private condo instead of feeling like she's in kitty prison.

On the way to work this morning I was talking to IMOM on the phone. My bluetooth isn't properly synced up to my phone so I had to hold the phone up to my ear. Well...guess who got pulled over by Newport Beach's finest and got a ticket? Yes. That would be me. I'm hoping that this the beginning, middle and end of my bad luck for the next 10 days. Pray for me?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Time for Vay Cay Shun!

Tomorrow Tori, Rebek and I are getting on an airplane and we won't get out of the airplane until we are in London. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the last week and while I've accomplished a lot I still feel like I've forgotten something....

1. I've done about 10 loads of laundry. I wound up getting rid of 1/2 of what I washed because I've gained so much weight in the last couple of months that none of my clothes fit anymore.

2. I've secured someone to feed the cats.

3. I've bought enough cat food to feed my cats for the next several weeks.

4. I've bought kitty litter.

5. I have a huge dog crate to put Ashleigh in because she darts out the door when ever it is barely even open and I don't think my cat sitter has the time or patience to sit and wait until Ashleigh brings her furry little ass home.

6. I have all of our airplane tickets.

7. I have all of our Eurostar train tickets for our side trip to Paris.

8. I have the reservations for our hotel in London.

9. I have the reservations for our hotel in Paris.

10. I have made arrangements to meet up with a dear friend of our who is going to be in Paris the same time we are.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Knock, knock..."It's for you..." Surprize party conclusion

Our ruse for getting Mother all dressed up for her party was to tell her that IMOM was going to take us out to a nice dinner. Sadly, he wasn't even in the country at the time so he wasn't able to even attend the party, let alone take us out to dinner. I made the mistake of telling Tori that he wasn't coming so with that information she decided that she and the kids wouldn't need any dress up clothes. My mom and I were getting ready in one bathroom and Tori and the kids were getting ready in their bathroom. When we all met up in the living room it looked like Mother and I were off to Lady Astor's Ball and Tori and the kids were going to head out to the pool. Happily my mom didn't acknowledge this fashion faux paux.

Tori had to run out to her truck to retrieve some more of the party goods that we couldn't sneak in earlier. I was pacing around like a chicken with my head cut off and my mom was calmly sitting on the couch waiting for IMOM to show up.

The door bell rang and then there was a knock on the door. I looked at my mom and said, "IT'S FOR YOU!!!" She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "It's Tori. Go open the door and let her in." And I said, "YOU open the door." I'm sure she wondered why on Gods green earth I couldn't open the door when I was totally standing right next to it. As she headed for the door I lunged for my camera and had it at the ready. My mom opened the door and kind of stepped back when she saw friends of hers from elementary school:

Linda Walker Peace

Cathie Stewart BrownFriends she made in the 1960's when she was in the East San Gabriel Valley Mother's Of Twins Club:

Joan Smith and Joy AllenThen she opened the door to friends of mine from high school:

The son she never had, Greg ParvinNoel Troy Lucia & her husband DaveKathy McLaughlin MindiakThen there were in-laws:

Son in law, Mike Pendell

Grandson in law, Mike StoughtonAnd there were out-laws:

Mary McHugh and Kathy McHugh Yumi TsurimotoA former boss:

Pete Lucero

There was lot's of food and lots of fun had that night. The room was full of love for my mom and it was wonderful. All of these people drove over 100 miles in the searing southern California summer heat to wish my mom a happy birthday and there are no words to express how much it meant to me that they were able to do so.

Flo Kemp, Linda Walker Peace, Mother, Cathie Stewart Brown (Getting a picture of my mom where her eyes look open is close to impossible. Believe it or not her eyes are not closed here. It's just that when she smiles her eyes disappear!)

Greg Parvin

My son in law Mike Stoughton, my daughter, Amanda & Mother

Mary McHugh andn Kathy McHugh

Pete Lucero, Mother, Rachiel Lucero

Joy Allen, Mother, Joan Smith (Ok, now here my mom's eyes are closed. Sorry, but it was a nice picture of the other two! ) Mike Stoughton

Joy Allen & Joan Smith

Mike Mindiak, Mother, Kathy Mindiak

My high schooll friends. Betcha didn't know my nephew Paul went to high school with me, didja? (of course he didn't, but he insisted on being in the picture) Noel Troy Lucia, Mother, David Lucia

Happy birthday Mother. Let's do this again when you turn 100! I LOVE YOU!