I've had enough

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So I've been banned from entering Scranton Branch...a place I have stood loyally by since I started here as a salesman slowly rising to Assistant regional manager. I am beyond angry at the moment. Michael tried to keep me in the office but some corporate fool in charge of Moderating has decided I am a security threat to the premises. Jim Halpert was tampering with my identification badge and I know that he is behind this.

I will crush my enemies when I return to my workstation in late June and make no mistakes, Dwight Danger Schrute will reap what he sows. I will devour my enemies with needless effort and if anyone thinks otherwise they can deal with me and my purple belt. I will be hanging outside the office and taking care of parking lot security in the meantime. I am selling beets from the back of my car and have my potato cannon on hand for anyone endulging in antisocial behaviour on the grounds.

So to all you haters start fearing because I will be back with a vengeance.