Forgive me but I am not going to review all three Wetherspoons pubs in the town centre.

The choices were chicken, beef, turkey and a vegetarian option, for just £6.99. And I got a pint of Stowford Press cider for just £0.99 - quite why other places sell it for £4.50 I don't know. Also worth mentioning I could have had a large for £1.50 extra. I declined, which is not the sort of thing I normally do.

The barman serving me was exceptionally unwelcoming and made me almost feel a tad uncomfortable. Every response was grunted with a real unwillingness to want to serve or even be polite. Perhaps he just took a dislike to my bright purple chinos.

Roast Dinners Around Reading at Back of Beyond

I sat down, opened Facebook (not to check in, may I hasten to add), had a sip of my £0.99 cider and the dinner arrived. It took just three minutes. Three minutes. They clearly wanted rid of such an undesirable as oneself.

Peas. I have a phobia of peas - I just can't have them on my plate. I dealt with it my pouring my gravy on the Yorkshire pudding and then scooping the peas into the pot. I did consider pouring all the peas onto the table or the floor but decided it was probably a tad immature. I spent longer removing the peas, then it took them to "cook" my roast dinner.

Roast Dinners Around Reading at Back of Beyond

If you look carefully at the mash, you can see the almost perfectly rectangular edges which suggest how it was packaged. It was edible, but my disdain for it was almost at the same level of the barman's disdain for service. I had one bite which was enough.

Onto the roast potatoes, which would be a trade descriptions act offence. They more resembled potato croquettes. There were four, one of which was pretty much uncooked, the others were cooked but perhaps more likely put in a deep fat fryer 10 days ago, frozen then microwaved 10 seconds after Mr Miserable pressed the send button on the till.

The Yorkshire pudding was ok. Think Aunt Bessies four minute in the oven job but not quite that good.

The roast half chicken, seasoned with black pepper, was perhaps the driest chicken I have ever been served in my life. It was quite abominable.

The gravy wasn't too bad, it was at least, gravy. Though by time it was on my plate, it was very much of a watery-consistency. In hindsight it may have been better to dip the food in the gravy whilst it was in the pot.

Sometimes I say, please share just for my own vanity. But this time, I ask that you share this review for the sake of your fellow human.

This was the worst roast dinner I have ever reviewed and it gets a 0.8 out of 10.

I did quite like the design of the plate. Oh and I did throw a few peas on the floor.

This is an abridged version of the review. To see it in full go to www.rdrdg.co.uk.