We figured the above was as good a way as any to kick off this “Festive Fails” St. Patrick’s Day Edition. Below, we’re coming at ya with a quick-hitting list of a few of those times people just really, really got their celebrations wrong. Let’s dive in!

1. Nice, Ugh, Hat?

This kid gets an “A” for effort but a “D” for ugh, drawing a dick. (But really, that would be an exceptionally unfortunate hat to have to wear.)

2. Fun With Food!

Look, we get the allure of “going green” with most things on St. Patrick’s—clothing, rivers and fountains, beer—but this picture is an illustration of the fact that we need to leave food alone. Please and thank you.

3. St. Patrick Manipulates His Staff

That Twix is positioned a bit awkwardly. (Apparently, there is a lot of St. Patrick’s-related unintentional sexual imagery out there to choose from… sorry, guys.)

4. This Dog is Not Having It

This doggo already looks like it’s suffering from a raging hangover… and then it gets stuffed into this highly unfortunate outfit. Poor pup.

5. Toronto Mayor Has “Epic” St. Patrick’s Day

It’s hard to outdo former Toronto mayor Rob Ford on St. Patrick’s.

He made sure to blow it out in 2012 in what has to be one of the most epic St. Patrick’s Day benders of all time.

The night included:

1. Knocking a junior staffer off their feet.

2. Removing his clothes on his Cut the Waist challenge scale.

3. Smashing his cell phone against the wall.

4. Crying

It seems Mayor Ford went through the full gamut of emotions. You can read about his legendary St. Patty’s day meltdown here.

6. And Finally, a Video Compilation

We close with a few choice St. Patrick’s fails in this compilation. Note: Several NSFW words here, so watch your speaker volume!