A few stories from my life…

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Office Specimens! :D

The above picture would be me, every single day! I do a countdown, in minutes, calculating the time that is left to run home from the time I enter office.

I hate hate hate hate hate going to office. Partly contributed to my laziness and my stupid office atmosphere, since I’m undergoing a loooong intership (of 3 years), it is the very definition of dreadfulness!

I was initially working at a much bigger firm but thanks to the immense work pressure, I shifted to a smaller firm, now obviously the infrastructure won’t be great but the people over here are just worthy of being displayed at museums!! True antique and unique people! (note the sarcastic tone)

Creepy Man: He is one of the partners of the firm, now the creepy part about him is that he stares at everyone’s chest, gender irrespective! And that makes it waay too uncomfortable to have a conversation with him. And the fact that he fights, with everyone, including the tele marketing callers, which is pathetic since his English isn’t great and all that one has to do is to refrain from laughing out loud! 😀 😛

Cinderella’s Evil Step Sister: He is the other partner of the firm and this name has been coined by me! 😀 😛 For an old man, he has remarkable bitching powers!! Apart from that he brags, a lot. And he can lecture incessantly for hours together! Which is how I have developed on a special skill of tuning people out by playing Shah Rukh’s songs in my head while he talks! 😀

Husband Obsessed: There is this other woman who is a qualified Chartered Accountant and is madly obsessed with her husband, stalks him on whatsapp, gmail and facebook, all day long! Such is the obsession that she mails her whatsapp conversations with him and keeps reading them all throughout the day! Plus every time that she is in our vicinity, we HAVE to listen to her gush about her husband. And she is Candy crush obsessed plus she never smiles! Doesn’t acknowledge anyone’s presence unless she has some work with them and is mildly sarcastic all the time.

Wife Obsessed: The male version of the above, and is equally painful. Thankfully he left the office a few months back but continues to grace us with his presence physically and on whatsapp 😥

Marriage Obsessed: She was Husband Obsessed’s best friend at office and they would discuss marriage problems, in-law issues and how girls should get married early plus the usual shopping rubbish and petty neighborhood gossip. She would also advocate how the fair-young-slim Marwari girls ould bag all the good guys and the others (read me and my friend) would be left with no good options 😛 Well who cares!? 😀

Peeping Tom: If there could be an award for the world’s spookiest and most irritating Peeping Tom, this woman would win it hands down. From peeping into our phones to eavesdropping on our conversations, she does everything to get the daily dose of gossip! She creeps up silently and stands behind you when you are talking on the phone or having a conversation with someone else or just using the phone and despite giving her a dirty glare, she doesn’t go away! No deterring this woman!

Telugu Gang: So, there are 5 of them in this gang –

Specimen 1 : We sort of avoid sitting next to this one cause her hair is infested with lies and she doesn’t communicate much with us, is from a small town and is comfortable talking in telugu, which we don’t understand.

Specimen 2 : Is a new joinee at the office and shares his name with the movie ‘Lagaan’s’ lead! 😛 Doesn’t talk at all, seems too timid and thus we do not interrupt his peace.

Specimen 3 : just left office a few days back, again doesn’t talk much but is a sweetheart who will gladly do your share of work if you are running late! 😀

Specimen 4 : Was best friends with specimen 1 and again timid type, so don’t really know much about her.

Specimen 5 : The best out of the lot! Used to talk to us and crack jokes and imitate Cinderella’s Evil Step Sister to the T! 😀 😛

Marwari Gang: This gang is actually hilarious to observe –

Specimen A : Well I call him with all sorts of funny names and in general is a good guy. But has horrible choice in women and calls his sisters ‘princesses’ 😛 and takes part in long family discussion type calls about marriage and life after marriage type crap.

Specimen B : Plain irritating tall lizard-ish types of a guy.

Specimen C : Is a hair and phone obsessed kid who has a shrill voice and squeaks out a very weird sounding excuse me whenever she sneezes! 😛

Mr. Hot-ty!! : The Creepy man’s son he is. Extremely cute and hot and intelligent! Sadly younger to me 😛 and undoubtedly the best thing about office! Me and my friend flirt with him all day long and pull his cheeks! 😀 And poor thing has to tolerate our mad antics 😛

Babu Bhaiya : The only other sane man in the office, also the office boy and is generally a nice guy.

Lata Ji: The sane-est person and a very good friend of mine, we have been together since the previous firm and work together for most projects, all in all a nice kid 😀

Edited to add-

One-eyebrowed wonder- The most irritating woman out of the lot, with one eyebrow always arched in a weird * I know it all, who the hell are you, are you talking to me* expression plastered on her face! Doesn’t work and is stuck to her phone acting all busy while she is actually just zooming in on her photos, searching for zits *face palm*. And acts like our “manager”, unnecessarily loud, brags a lot, changes her whatsapp profile photo every hour and claims she is too ‘busy’ and finally got kicked out of office solely for being a walking talking living breathing irritant! 😀

Hahha..thank god for the hottie! There’s this one guy in my office who is super hot. Hardly get to see him though cause of shift timings. Its a different matter though that he only looks good, opens his mouth n full impression gone 😛

I’m familiar (against my wishes) with the one eyebrowed receptionist, a punjabi gang, and boyfriend/girlfriend obsessed people. There’s a group on whatsapp that I hate, but can’t leave because it’s rude to just leave. I hate my office too 😦