Demand for a full-scale expedition is now at fever-pitch with millions of women signing petitions, sending emails and grabbing politicians by the neck and pinning them to wall.

Marjorie Kenilworth, president of the Women's Institute, said: "I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of sending a probe to the G-spot and returning it safely to the back of the bedroom drawer.

"No single project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of our tubes."

She added: "We go to the G-spot, not because it is easy, but because it is hard."

The Institute wants an immediate £10 billion injection to complete the development of the Denzel Washington probe, and provide plenty of scented candles.

Mrs Kenilworth added: "After the near misses of the Clooney and Pitt programmes, the Denzel V remains our last, best hope. God speed."