Football funnies: Piebury Clanger - How about a boozy pie with Tony Adams' name on it?

A boozy pie named after Tony Adams is a top seller at Piebury Corner (Image: Getty)

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Rio Ferdinand was among the first to criticise the pathetic "friendly banter" excuse rolled out in support of Malky Mackay, demanding on Twitter: "Who wrote the LMA statement?"

And Rio should know all about useless statements. After he called DJ Chris Moyles "a faggot" on air in 2006, a BBC spokesman apologised but explained that the pair had been simply enjoying "some friendly banter about which football player they would go out with."

Piebury clanger

Top seller at Piebury Corner, the excellent takeaway which has become a pre-match destination for Arsenal fans? It's a steak and ale pie served with mash and topped with a red wine sauce.

And the name of this tasty if somewhat boozy treat? Somewhat unfortunately given the Gunners legend's history, it's The Tony Adams.

Where Angels tread

Angel di Maria may be about to become the Premier League's most expensive import but not all his moves have been as big as the one which could cost Manchester United £64million.

The Argentine's first transfer came when he was seven and fee paid by Rosario Central to first club Torito is reckoned to have been 30 footballs - although there is no truth in the vicious rumour that Ed Woodward offered 25.

Sprinkle of stardust

They know their history at Everton and during half-time in Saturday's 2-2 draw with Arsenal, the Toffees welcomed Goodison greats Howard Kendall and Colin Harvey on the pitch, where the title-winning pair were greeted by a shower of applause. Which was closely followed by a shower of water as the sprinklers came on, drenching the veteran pair.

LOCAL PAPER EXCLUSIVE OF THE WEEK

A strong take on the latest football video game release, taken from the Bromley News Shopper.

Wicked Whistle

Which foreign striker is in his third Premier League season but still somewhat confused by some English traditions? Having walked on to a posh golf course earlier this year - accompanied by a mate wearing jeans and trainers - and started playing a round, he was stunned to be stopped after one hole and politely told he'd have to become a member and pay green fees first.

INSIGHT OF THE WEEK

During his analysis of Villa's bore draw with Newcastle for BT Sport, Steve McManaman singled out Phillippe Senderos, "off the back of a great World Cup with Switzerland."

And what a tournament the former Arsenal defender had. He played just a single match in Brazil, coming on as an early sub against France and restricting Les Bleus to just five goals in his 81 minutes.

Own goal

Match Of The Day viewers who simply can't go on without Alan Hansen can take comfort in this late 1970s Q&A with the then-Liverpool defender from the pages of Shoot magazine.

Top marks to the young Alan for his choice of favourite newspaper - the Daily Mirror, of course - but the answer to one question will surprise fans of his trenchant views. For under 'Favourite Other Team', Fergie's pal has listed... Manchester United! Diabolical!

Football gaffes

Heard a gaffe? Tweet it using #FootballGaffes or email steve.anglesey@trinitymirror.com, putting 'Football Gaffes' in the subject field.

"Always difficult going to Turkey, though last year Fenerbahce was easy" - Lee Dixon "Roy Keane in a piratanical beard there" - David Pleat "There's a passionating game in prospect" - David Pleat "The continuity has stayed the same" - Danny Murphy "Mark Hughes really lamb blasted his players" - Dominic Cork "We need to threaten the goal with goals" - Alan Pardew

Readers with weak stomachs or nervous dispositions are advised to look away now as we bring you details of an interview with Stuart Pearce in which the noted punk enthusiast confessed he could also "listen to Rod Stewart if I'm feeling a bit ‘lovey’.”

Asked, if that meant that Mrs Pearce knows where the evening is heading when he slips a Rod album onto the turntable, Psycho replied: "I see where you're going with this one. Let's say yes.”

OVERHEARD...

Tell us the funniest things you’ve overheard either said or shouted at football and you can win a pair of VIBE headphones, RRP £79.99. There are more prize details at www.vibeaudio.co.uk . Tweet your stories using #FootballOH or email them to steve.anglesey@trinitymirror.com , putting 'Overheard' in the subject field.

From Old Jack, via email: Swansea at Old Trafford on Saturday - "1-0 to the sheep sh*ggers" and "You're Man Utd, your captain is Scouse".

From @Craigo1871: Reading fans, to the tune of Erotic by Madonna - "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, rub your beard all over my body."

From @Mu55ell: Sung by Grimsby Town fans at every game - "We p*** on your fish."

But this week's winner is @skilly87: Early game at Anfield. It's quiet. Away fans started singing, "Where's your famous atmosphere?" Scouse lad shouts back: "P*** off will yer? Some of us are hungover over 'ere."