February 14, 1952 – August 7, 2011 Tomorrow is Valentines Day and would have been Donna’s 62nd Birthday. “What is hell? Hell is oneself. Hell is alone, the other figures in it Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from And nothing to escape to. One is always alone.”

There was a freakish accident this morning while walking Nina. I picked her up to carry her across the ice and slush. I fell and she broke her left fibula and tibia. It was a compound fracture though it moved back into place. Surgery could have been done with plates and pins. Though the cost was very high the issue of infection due to her diabetes was ever present as is the fact she has had a number of strokes. Post surgery there would be little if any quality of life for about 8 weeks. Post that there was no promise of quality of life. (Do I sound defensive?) I made THE gut wrenching decision. Needless to say one day after Donna’s birthday and on some level this being my fault (I killed my dog) I am inconsolable and broken hearted. Though I have the tools from what I have been through my heart may never heal. Miguel clarified this by telling me whatever decision I made was the right one. It was. Perhaps she and Donna are hanging out now. And the surgeon told me that to care for a dog with diabetes for over three years and the shape she was in demonstrated my love for her. The neighbors who cared for Nina while I trying to fix my brain just wrote: “I feel it was a privilege for us to have taken care of her for the few weeks you were away. She was a peach, just one of a kind.” Her passing was peaceful and she was held by me. Thank you all.