Deadpool's Guide To Kicking Arse In The Corporate World

Believe it or not, there are many parallels between succeeding in the corporate world and succeeding in the assassin world. Take our favourite merc with a mouth, Deadpool, for instance. It's essential to look back at his achievements in his first epic movie, which you can download on iTunes or Google Play, and explore how the high-octane hitman has more than made a mark in his professional field. So here is Deadpool's guide to making your way upwards on the corporate ladder based on those expert plays... just in time for the flood of position openings, given a certain royal commission in uh... finance.

If you've forgotten how awesome the original movie is, make sure you catch up on it with the new limited edition 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray Steelbook as well as the Unicorn Blu-ray & DVD-- available at JB HIFI from May 7th.

Be flexible and open to any and all opportunities

As much as we'd like things to be more linear, it's rarely the case. So be as open-minded as possible when it comes to opportunities. Volunteering for projects to grow a personal network. Exploring a less-than-conventional branch of your background training. Taking a contract to assault the stalker of a young girl because it pays and you have a soft spot. Or even bending over and taking one for the team because it's International Women's Day. You know. Opportunities.

"You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier."

Versatility in the face of sudden change

There will be more than one occasion within your professional life that forces you to move quickly and promptly. Don't get caught up in a comfort zone you've dug out for yourself, or the tiny details in the grand scheme of things. Pick up your feet, and follow the nice man from the shady private organisation who promises that he can fix your incurable cancer. Who knows? You might end up looking like a nutsack with teeth/an avocado that had sex with another avocado/a whole number of things that are also hard to look at, but at least you're alive and kicking with a regeneration factor.

“Cancer is a shit show, like Yakov Smirnoff opening for Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair kind of shit show.”

"I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 - like the city of Detroit."

Collaborating with others is not weakness

You don't have to be a one man army. Success is not a burden you must bear alone. The only way to move faster and more effectively is with a wolf pack. Because it's simply not feasible to be that competent of an all-rounder. There will always be someone more skilled than you in certain areas. But that's OK. Seek them out, and learn from them. Maybe even enlist them to punch on with some other mutants. I guess what I'm saying is, you might be virtually unkillable, but none of that matters unless you have a titanium Ivan Drago and psionic blasting Sinead O'Connor Lite™. Diversify the arsenal of collective skill-sets.

“You look familiar, did I spin you like a beanie propeller and leave you in a motel room in Dubuque?”

At certain times, don't hesitate-- just do

Time and place. That's all you need to worry about. And when the two line up, you'll just know. The rest will naturally fall in place. Just leave all your hang-ups and hesitations at the door, mow down that bloodied albeit uncooperative henchman with a zamboni, cut the whole "We can be heroes" speech short, and pull the trigger. Proverbial or literal.

“With great power comes great merchandising opportunity.”

Deadpool 2 is set to hit cinemas all around Australia on May 16th.

So while you're waiting on that hot lil sequel, you can re-watch the first movie with the new limited edition 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray Steelbook as well as the Unicorn Blu-ray & DVD-- available at JB HIFI from May 7th. You can also buy or rent Deadpool 1 on Digital on iTunes or Google Play.