Wedding Invitation Wording

by Mary
(Oklahoma)

My future daughter in law had the wedding invitations printed up without anyone seeing them first. They say "Mr David and Denise North invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children Janet Maisey North and Brent Smith at …"

It appears the bride and groom are siblings or at least step-siblings. Also "Mr. David and Denise" is wrong.

There are also some capitalization errors. Since the error was my daughter-in-law’s fault, I have offered to pay (again) to have them reprinted (I am paying for the entire wedding by myself. No help from brides parents or my ex-husband), but the bride thinks it is no big deal and refuses to reprint and my son is being passive.

I am totally embarrassed to send these out. What to do? I am so upset.

Our Thoughts

As with most of my suggestions, I would have to tell you to be totally honest with both your son and daughter-in-law-to-be.

The mistakes you wrote about are not at all little mistakes, and even without seeing the invite I do agree that they need to be reprinted.

Explain to them that is the first calling card to their event and the writing etiquette is truly embarrassing to you and your family. This invite is not just about them, but about you as well and you are truly uncomfortable with sending them out to family and friends.

The good thing is that it sounds like they were not sent out, so ultimately no one knows except a handful of people. You are also being very generous with offering to pay for them again when this isn’t really your fault.

Regardless of who pays, reprint the invitations and make sure that they send you a proof before they go to press.

Wedding Invitation Wording Question

My husband and I have raised our nephew from age 9. He is engaged to be married in Nov.

Though we have reconciled with his mother and her husband, we have had all financial and rearing responsibility. I am unsure how to include our names and his biological mother and his step-fathers names on the wedding invitation? Please Advise.

Our Thoughts

This is a very difficult and touchy subject since wording can be so formal.

My first thoughts would be to sit down and have an honest discussion with both your nephew and his fiancé about what their expectations are for the invitation wording. It may surprise you that he may not want to include his biological mother on the wedding invitation since he feels that you both have raised him since a very young age and are more of parents to him than you know.

If the case is that he does want to include his mother on the invitation, I have placed invitation wording examples below for your review. It is not expected in wedding etiquette to place the stepfathers name on the formal invitation. When placing the biological mother’s name, she would use her new married last name instead of previous married name or maiden name.

Many bridal couples do in fact include their stepfather's names on the invite if they are extremely close to them, as well as, their deceased father’s name on the invitation. That would be something again I would discuss with the bridal couple.

Your nephew is so blessed to have such an amazing Aunt and an Uncle in you both, and I am certain the wedding will be wonderful because so many family members will be at his side to celebrate and support this union.

Example A:

Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert Arthur GearyAnd Mrs. Jean Hawthornerequest the honor of your presenceat the marriage of their nephewAnd her son,