Wednesday, May 14, 2008

incompetence killed the CAT

Now in the middle of week one of Daily Hospital Visitation Spree, I am embracing Murphy's Law on a near religious level. Because it seems, if it can go wrong several times, oh it absolutely will. It is entirely unshocking that I can go to the hospital Monday and the CT scanner is broken. That someone looks at my scrip and hands me the wrong barium milkshake to drink and tells me to reschedule. That I return the next day at Dawn's Asscrack for pre-admission testing and a bundle of other bloodwork which I am first turned away for, then after a hot phone three way with my doctor's office and registration I am invited back for some of the tests... and then told to go to yet another lab for the remainder. Leaving the veins feeling a bit worse for the wear. Then arising the next day before light has started filling the sky to drink The Wrong Milkshake so that I can drive to the hospital once more with one eye open only to be told that some moron took the order for CT: Enercolisis and transcribed it as CT: INTERCOLITIS. Such that I will have to return much later since it takes 5 days for the barium to fully leave the system... in order to make room for the magical Timed Dishwater Chug x3 at next week's promised up and down Dawn's Asscrack arrival.

Will three times be a charm? Or will I have to start appreciating morning light ever so much more?

Normally I am not a morning person. Even if I adore you, I will gladly poke new orifices in you if you look at me wrong before 9am. Fortunately the techs that talked to me this morning did not receive the brute end of my morning force, though in addition to free parking, they should have offered to remove the concrete block firming in my entrails and replaced it with like crepes or some other morning delicacy.

Something fascinating I discovered recently was that there is a spate of young women (I will try to qualify myself as that yet) who are blogging about chronic illness and pain. So while this was always a blog about photography, it has sort of morphed into a blog like that so without knowing that I was doing 'a thing', I kind of was. Which is alternately creepy and comforting. Seeing as, well, I wanted a photo blog here... and I haven't been really diagnosed yet, so please, don't toss me in the grave just yet.... but what I have read has been really hopeful, positive, and yeah, still pretty applicable to my current condition even without a full diagnosis. One which spoke to a broader audience, developed by um... a babe with fibromyalgia... is ChronicBabe.com and the other which I found I could relate to better in terms of wry humor and condition is the blog of a girl with Crohn's, I'd Like to Buy a Bowel. And how can you not just adore that name. She is obviously the most awesome and pointed out the article in the NY Times about the Chronic Blog phenomena.

Now the morning of my procedure. I am un-cleverly avoiding the unpleasant prep and not packing. Instead I am admiring the sound of car driving in the rain and fantasizing about food. Ahh, Light & Fluffy Noodles, you will soon be mine.