12 Marriage Lessons Learned in 2012

This year, 2012, has been a big year for our family. Our daughter became a big sister as we welcomed a new addition to our family, my husband and I (and our oldest daughter) turned two, I joined the Babble family, my mother got married, and a bunch of other amazing things happened. There were also lots of tears both happy and sad and lessons learned, many of them that we will carry with us into 2013 and beyond.

In January my husband and I will celebrate seven years of being a part of one another’s lives. Seven years since we first laid eyes on each other and we are still learning one another but thankfully, also still loving one another too. As we get ready to ring in the new year I thought I would take a moment to share some of the lessons that were solidified for us or that we learned about our marriage and each other this year. We still have a lot of growing to do but we are committed to growing together, one day at a time.

Here’s to another year of love and lessons learned!

Grow Separately But Not Apart 1 of 12

One of my favorite quotes is about friends growing separately but not apart.

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow
separately without growing apart." ~ Elisabeth Foley

I believe it's relevant to marriage as well. We are going to change and grow
over time. But the key is to not grow apart.

Remember Your Vows 2 of 12

I say this often, particularly when I get upset. I
remember the way I felt the day my husband and I exchanged vows and I remember
the words that I wrote to him as an expression of my love and my promise to him.
It reminds me why I love my husband so much and why I chose him and chose us.

Lean on Your Spouse 3 of 12

A big challenge for me was learning to lean on my
husband. I'm still learning when it comes to this and perhaps with time will get
better at it. It's easy for me to go to my mom or my best friend when I'm upset
about something, or sad or sick, but I've got to learn to lean on my husband
more. Sure I feel like my mom knows exactly what to do when I'm sick but she had
years to get good at taking care of me. It's important that I give my husband a
chance to take care of me too. He wants to; I just have to let him.

Continue to Date 4 of 12

This particular lesson was suggested by my husband. Even after marriage, dating continues to be important. You have to take the time and make the effort to preserve your relationship. It's like car maintenance in a way. You may love your car, but if you don't take care of it, it
isn't going to hold up and instead will fall apart (p.s. cars are replaceable. People aren't).

People First 5 of 12

Yes, many of us need to work, but we also need to put work aside and focus on our families. While not everything on our to-do lists can
wait, a lot can.

Be Friends 6 of 12

With your close friends you tend to make an effort to check in with each other just because, you spend time together, and make an effort to be there for each other when needed. You laugh, confide in one another, keep each other's secrets, and engage in activities that you both enjoy.

Life (and Marriage) Really is a Bowl of Cherries 7 of 12

Life does have some pits, but just because there
are pits doesn't mean you can't still enjoy the journey. Cherries have pits.
Realize that, be aware of that, and accept it for what it is. Eat your cherries,
enjoy your cherries but understand that you're going to have to navigate around
those pits.

Water Your Grass 8 of 12

Have you heard the saying that the "grass is greener where you
water it?" Stop focusing on the lawns (lives) of other couples, stop wanting what
other people have and instead, put more time and energy into taking care of what
you have.

Be Thankful Your Thorns Have Roses 9 of 12

"Some people are always grumbling because
roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses." ~ Alphonse Karr

No one is perfect. It's easy to get hung up on the thorns. Take a moment to step
back and look at the whole picture. Don't lose sight of the beauty in what you
have. Yes, as beautiful as roses are even they have thorns but that doesn't keep
us from loving them. Not to mention, thorns force us to handle roses with a little extra care.

Say You’re Sorry 10 of 12

Stop waiting for your spouse to apologize first. Time is
fleeting. Life is short. Don't miss out on a chance to enjoy one another because you are busy
being mad and waiting on an apology.

One Step at a Time 11 of 12

Baby steps are ok, after all, they're still steps. Keep living, loving, and moving
forward one step at a time. And ever so often take a moment to look back, not to
live in the past but rather, to see how far you've come.

Silence is Golden 12 of 12

You don't always have to have the last word. Sometimes
when you are upset the best thing to do is to be quiet and take a minute for
yourself. You don't want to say something that you'll regret. Words can cause
major damage. Words do hurt, sometimes far worse than sticks and stones.

What are some marriage lessons that you and your spouse learned or that were solidified for you this year?

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