Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Woooooo! Approximately 18 years after graduating from high school, I have finally moved up from geek to jock. Get this.

You know that lovely leg and crotch itch I have? Jock itch! J-O-C-K itch! I have not heard back from the New England Journal of Medicine on this one issue, but I'm pretty damn sure that you can't get jock itch unless you are a bonafide jock-o. I've never been so pumped about a rash. Bring it on!!

I also had a dream the other night about getting breast implants. I don't dream very often, or at least I don't remember my dreams very often, so I'm pretty sure this dream has important meaning. These weren't small little A or B cups. These were some sizable breasts, perhaps in the D cup range. All the more meaning. In the dream, however, I was mostly concerned about the timing of getting these breasts. What sense does it make to get big breasts right before running a marathon? For god's sakes, I don't even own any sports bras. My running coach always tells us not to do anything new right before a race. No new foods, no new running shoes, and certainly no new breasts. He's never specifically mentioned the new breast issue, but I'm pretty sure he'd agree it was poor timing.

Anyway, with these new babies, I'm thinking that I may switch over from jock to cheerleader. I can make my tour through all the cliques. I look forward to reporting from the stoner perspective another day.