June 16, 2011

... Dry Down Friction Free Powder by Jack Black ($18 for 6 ounces), with cornstarch, lavender and green tea, “works great south-of-border,” according to its packaging.

“Guys have a great sense of humor about this stuff, and they appreciate us saying, ‘We know where you’re going to use it, and it’s great for that area,’ ” said Patricia Finn, vice president for marketing at Jack Black, which has no affiliation with the comedian of the same name.

Lavender is an herb that can effect hormone levels, promoting estrogen. So rubbing your balls with it might be a good thing if you suddenly want to gain a strong facination to Laura Asheley home funishings.

It works. But, being a former pitcher I like the fact I can grab my balls and it feels like a resin bag. I'm back on the mound, found my rhythm, and painting the black w/ fastballs. Smell is the strongest sense for nostalgia, but touch is up there.

These products are awfully expensive for variations on talc and cornstarch. Green tea oil may help suppress fungal growth, though. Also helpful would be for men to switch to kilts, with the traditional Scottish underwear (nothing). Good air circulation helps keep the area dry.

A perfect concoction for the 21st century metrosissy. No true Scotsman uses that stuff. Real men just work hard and endure without complaint the resulting bodily insults. Then put on just the minimum amount of salve, so that the callouses will form.