Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Redefing Beautiful

Years ago, I was reading a romance novel that the term 'introverted Quasimodo' was used. I always remembered it. The meant the person was beautiful on the outside and twisted and ugly on the inside. Today's culture obsesses over outward beauty. I remember years ago hearing a story about a little boy being lost. When asked for a description he described his mother as the most beautiful woman in the world. When they finally found the boy's mother frantically looking for her son she was not the 'beauty' they were expecting. Her face was plain and her clothes the same. However, to the little boy she was beautiful. This illustrated to me that what you look like on the outside doesn't matter as much as who you are on the inside. Before counseling, I thought I was an ok person with a few life challenges. However, counseling created a safe place and my mind remembered. The soul deep ugliness that tore my childhood to shreds. I wondered how I could be beautiful with so much ugliness inside. I withdrew from family and friends because I didn't want this ugliness to leak out and harm them. My first counselor described the process I would be going through of cleaning out the emotional and mental garbage out of my life. It was tough and painful. This summer I was tossed back into the cesspool. I know the process. Clean up and remove junk. I know what needs to be done. Inner peace doesn't come easily for me. It is an on going battle to leave my past behind. It keeps trying to intrude on my life again. Day by day I choose to embrace honor, kindness, gratitude, courage, and all the other emotions.

Search This Blog

Pages

Just so you know

Caution: Some images may be triggering for some readers. Photos are my voice of choice and sometimes it comes across as shouting.

Unless specified all pictures belong to me. I have them at a resolution that if you would like to download for personal use feel free. Please do not sale my photos. Thank you.

I am not a professional. Everything in this blog is about me trying to overcome depression. Sometimes I will include emails I wrote to my counselor, I call him KavinCoach, to remind me that he coaches me to change my life. All comments made by KavinCoach for a specific situation is to help me wrap my mind around a particular problem and is not intended as a cure all, diagnosis, or solution for anyone else and doesn't always apply to me. Many things about understanding humans has a lot of gray area.

Google notice

European Union laws require you to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require you to obtain consent.

As a courtesy, we have added a notice on your blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies.

You are responsible for confirming this notice actually works for your blog, and that it displays. If you employ other cookies, for example by adding third party features, this notice may not work for you. Learn more about this notice and your responsibilities.

Note from me: I do not use any 3rd party plug ins, so any cookies belong to Google.

About Me

Commonly used abbreviations

PTSD ~ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

DID ~ Dissociative Identity Disorder

MPD ~ Multiple Personality Disorder

(now called DID)KavinCoach ~ counselor worked with me for over 7 years and shepherd me through integration.MyCounselor = NewCounselor is not new ~ I worked with him almost 2 years. I am just really bad of thinking up names.

Suggestion

Sometimes you may want to follow without your picture appearing in the list. When you click Follow button you can choose to Follow privately.