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A few days ago, I was sitting cross-legged on my couch with a coffee and a crossword puzzle, absorbing the quiet moment. I felt good, energized; nothing could break my mood. Then, like a blow to the stomach… bam! Paralysis set in. The quarterlife crisis had struck again.

The quarterlife crisis was recently coined after a couple of college grads moved back home, couldn’t put their fingers on what they wanted to do with their lives, and wrote a book about it. Everywhere, 20-somethings said “aha!” and were able to put a name to that icky apprehension inhabiting their guts. The book calls the quarterlife crisis “a period of anxiety, uncertainty, and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.” But we have defined it for ourselves:

It’s a “sudden reality check where we overanalyze our current lifestyles in comparison to the lifestyles of our peers.” For others “it’s about doubt – always wondering if I'm making the right decisions.” “You wake up one day without parents or schools to point out your next step.” Some of us are thrown “expectations of adults but are still treated like children,” and some claim to “go to sleep most nights overwhelmed, constantly settling for safety, and wishing on the lottery instead of getting out there and chasing after all those big, bright dreams.” Others are just “trying to find the right balance between life, work, love...” My friends have said that they are “full of anxiety,” “directionless,” and have “hopes of an eventual resolution that may not even be out there.” One of them summed it up with: "What the hell am I doing with my life?”

For starters, we in our 20s are doing things differently than the 20-year old versions of our parents. We’re getting married later. The mindset that our upbringings and education would predetermine our career paths has faded. Now, whether it’s money or inspiration (or both) that you’re after in a career, feel free to follow your bliss. In addition, we have been granted more access to other countries and their cultures through greater travel opportunities (as well as a general consensus that you should travel). These transitions all seem healthy and positive – so why are so many of us in crisis mode?

My mom, who at my age was married and pregnant with me, believes that life has become less simple for our generation through limitless access to information, as well as limitless choice. We’ve inherited a world with so many more ice cream flavors than chocolate and vanilla. “It takes this sense of mystery out of life that I had when I was your age,” she told me. When she was in her 20s, no one really knew what to expect next. And they certainly weren’t panicking about it.

Enter tumultuous economy. This climate has thrown us an even screwier curveball. Companies, restaurants, and paycheck signers across the map are just not hiring. Many students set to graduate college this spring are putting it off for another semester or two. Young employees are getting laid off before they can make an impact, and the rest of those who have jobs are told they’re lucky to be employed (even if they’re employed unhappily). For many, bunking up with parents for a few more years doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.

Whether for a brief moment of panic or a constant angst, the quarterlife crisis has infected almost everyone in their 20s that I know. But, somewhere in the midst, we should remember the good that comes along with this mess. Lines that defined our parents and older siblings have blurred. We have a lot more options – which can be really scary, but it’s better than the alternative, right? And I can’t help but believe that, if we make it out of this uneasy period in one piece, we won’t be buying red-hot convertibles that we can’t afford when we’re 50. Personally, to thwart code-red-crisis-mode, I try to get out of my apartment and stay active; I try to keep an open mind and learn new things in case it may spark some inner curiosity; I stay balanced as best as I know how.

Still, every now and then, I’ll be moseying down Houston Street (or reading a magazine on the 6 train, or eating a quick lunch at my work computer) and bam! The quarterlife crisis strikes again.

Last Updated:4/22/2009

Important: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health. See More

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