Smartassery for the serious. Assistance for the terrifed. Information for the curious. A memoir for what's left of my sanity.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Attack.

I need to pay more attention to this place and stop posting when it's significant. Fucks sake. I've been working my ass off between the orderly and tending to affairs around the mansion, then the attack... Sigh. Also, Victor's story is still being done, I haven't stopped there.

I just need to breathe but it's difficult, especially with the way everything is as of now. Even before the attack things were a bit tense, I left very early in the morning. I went to the one place I can't breathe at all to try and solve it. The cemetery. I visited Billy, it was a... Nice morning, yea. Picked some flowers, tied them together with some wire from the tool kit. I really don't see much point in laying flowers, they just wither and die anyways, but it's tradition, right? And Billy loved traditions. He cherished them, I guess it rubbed off some. I've been thinking of getting back into contact with Joshua and maybe Smiles. Maybe. With the way shit is looking you know it might not hurt. But then I just mock myself and laugh at how pitiful that is, how selfish it would be.

"Look at what happened the last time a friend was brought into the fray."

The Caged One mentioned such. I felt myself half smile at the reminder. Fuck this life.

It would be selfish. I'm selfish but not that much. I sat back next to his grave and mused over where I am in life now. Let's look at it together, shall we?

Executor despises me.

Prosper is trying to skin me alive.

Road Runner is trying to make me a murderer and is willing to sacrifice and murder those I care for just to fuel that fire.

My family doesn't register I've been gone all this time, they don't pay much attention. Not that they did before. It's ridiculous that it bothers me, even if it's the slightest fraction.

My adopted family whom I presently am living with I can barely protect, maybe I'm just too fucked up to do much, I don't know. You can't protect another unless you can protect yourself, and we've seen I've been doing a half assed job lately.

Proxies I've redeemed have been mostly staying that way, so that's the good perk I guess. People I've actually helped are now helping themselves and others, just motivates me further to help more. And seeing others reaching out to do such things as well only helps get me off my ass.

I resorted to kidnapping a man who cons and blackmails his bosses for a living practically, a smug bastard that hasn't answered jack shit really. My patience is thinning and the Caged One is seething which makes shit even worse.

"Your hands are already stained in red. Do what is necessary. Drag him within the woods, take him into depths where the screams cannot be heard."

Temptation to do such was killer (no pun intended). Do you know the type of anger in you that just boils and boils until it smooth out and finds a new use? Ok, now how about that new use is murder or torture? Ok, now add a childhood you in your head called the Caged One telling you that it's necessary to do. Ok? Ok. Now, go ahead and add to it you know it is necessary and you don't give a flying fuck about the consequences in doing it anymore.

Now you'll ask "Why haven't you done it then?"

The answer is simple, my adopted family. I haven't acted for them.

"But time is growing short and we need to act."

So the options become limited.

"We killed once in the name of one we loathed. We can kill again in the name of protecting those we love."

Is it necessary?

"Don't make the same mistakes."

Because I totally remember them, right... Thanks. Awesome.

Fuckthislife.

Maybe I'll be happy once this world fades into the dark. When the universe decides Earth is no longer popular and tosses it aside, heh. We are so petty and don't even realize it, it's so adorable.

Always wanted to be an astronomer, you know? It's silly. I used to stare into the telescope as a kid and try to find the planet I came from. Now look at me, clinging to humanity like it's worth something. One pathetic chapter after the next.

And I am fucking done playing to its tune.

I laid at Billy's grave and watched the clouds like we used to while we could still see them, just before nightfall came crashing down upon our heads. Once upon a time, heh. It was such a nice day outside--blurry vision-heavy breathing-stumbling forward--looking down, bloody hands--looking up, scared faces--screaming, crying--YOUMONSTER--Whoareyou?-knife, cuts so good-onebyoneweallfalldown-Cut them! Cutting them! KILLING THEM!-it hurts it hurts it fucking hurts-their faces ashamed, gone daughter gone, gone friend gone gone gone-Imissyou-I'm not sorry--about to do-NOT SORRY EVER--nice day, knife in hand--blood--heavy breathing, collapsed body--whysobroken?

I left the cemetery when my mind triggered that sequence. Out of fucking nowhere, right? Did it smack you in the face too? Yea, I didn't know what to do either but that's the sequence that I had this time. It was the same place as the previous ones; I'm considering this might be what Road Runner is talking about. "Become what you were" and "Become a murderer again". Yea, key words being: Were and Again. How wonderful is it that I might have been a murderer as a kid? How severely fucked up does someone have to be to murder as a child? What the hell happens to just trigger that at a young age? Fuck if I know. I've been told not to pursue further both verbally and by actions done by those around me. Can you honestly tell me that if you were not in my shoes that you wouldn't be looking for answers?

Can you honestly tell you wouldn't be feeling vulnerable until you do? That you could trust yourself when you don't even know yourself?

Tell me. Go right ahead and tell me, look me in the goddamn eyes already and say it with a straight face and maybe I'll consider it.

To make matters worse Prosper was at the tree line. I pulled out a knife when he approached, his mask was smashed up. Looked like a cracked egg, I wondered what the hell happened briefly before deciding whatever did good for him, he deserved it. What surprised me most was when he slid the mask off his face and took a moment to look at the broken thing before handing it over. I was hesitant to take it, when he didn't make any kind of change I did. It was stupid and I knew it when he grabbed my wrist and lurched my upper body forward. Prosper's amber eyes were in slits, it's amazing how dark his face looked on such a bright morning. And then, out of nowhere, he curled up his lips into an ominous smile and backed off. Let go of me in the process and pointed to the mask before tapping the side of his head. The knife in my hand shook, I wanted to go stab happy on Prosper's face but resisted. I told myself Road Runner comes first, he may have plunged the knife but she organized it.

On top of that Prosper was burned alive at the warehouse and Executor rebuilt him and sent him back our way. Even if I killed this form of Prosper he'd come back and probably throw a bitch fit. I don't want to hear it, from any of you. I wanted to attack, still do, for killing all those people, for hurting Elaine and killing Cam, for hurting Mystery, hurting so many people. Logically speaking, there wasn't any point. I wasn't about to risk my life all alone like this and I wasn't about to risk others either. I've see what he does when angry, so no, just... no.

I weighed his mask in my hand, it was pretty damn heavy. Not one of those flimsy plastic ones, it breaking like this must have been a bitch to do or the impact must have been massive. I have no idea what it's made out of it, ask Mystery later what she thinks. I can't draw much on why he gave this; my only thoughts are maybe it was because at the asylum he made masks. I brought it back to the mansion and when I entered Mystery intersected me, she came with one intention but paused when she noticed what I was holding and questioned it. I told her what happened and how I made up my mind on what to do with our guest. She wasn't happy, so put it lightly. I told her I was going to take the orderly for a drive that night, I didn't want her waiting up. We got into a short argument over it, Mystery didn't like the man in the least but she wasn't open for interrogation; least not to the extent I was intending. I told her it had to be done and left it there.

I went to put the mask where I put the other stuff I was keeping, down at the bottom of the mansion where Mr. Sunshine first slept. Prying open the trunk and laying it inside with the mask from Executor's time. Prosper knows what I remember just from this blog alone, if he's sending a message it's going to be based on what I can recall still. That's the difference between him and Road Runner; he acts on the now and reminds me of the past while she works the past to end the future. Mr. Sunshine has taken up sleeping higher up in the tree that's rooted down where my trunk is. This room seemed to be a nice quiet spot for me to stay in; I considered moving down here to sleep but haven't taken any actions yet.

I was down there when I heard a loud explosion from upstairs, I grabbed the axe and bolted in time to see Mystery exiting my line of sight as she was thrown upwards through the ceiling. I looked to who was responsible and felt a glare, my mind reeling to take in just what the hell was happening. There wasn't time to dawdle over the details, my mind said, "Enemy in base, terminate." and so I acted. I gripped the axe which didn't really matter when something hit me from behind, I was suddenly thrown forward and before I knew it was one the ground and rolling until I hit the wall, the side of my face aching.

I tried to pull myself up and collapsed, my head spinning like mad. Every time I pulled myself up the world beneath me spun and I collapsed under my own weight again. I could hear off to the side Lucas and soon the thunderous roar of Mr. Sunshine, my heart skipped a beat as I used the wall to pull myself up. Vision coming clear I could see the attacker (who we know now as Thuggee) spot and turn towards me. Lullaby caught my attention and his own the moment she entered, he turned to her with a grin and vanished. I felt my insides boiled and grabbed the axe with an intent to murder. Dodgy intervened when I began an approach, surprising me with ease but I whacked him with the butt of the axe. He's fast, I'll tell you now Dodgy is deadly. I guess I took him by some surprise with my own bloodlust at the time and got the upper hand there. I smacked him across the face with the handle of the axe, spinning it in my grasp and bringing it down upon him. He slipped out of the way just barely, before I could pull the axe back up my knees bent forward as a kicked impacted them from behind. I hit the floor and rolled, swinging the axe up with all the force I could muster from that angle, he caught my wrist though. Pain shot through it and I bite out something nasty in return to him.

When Mr. Sunshine came charging my axe was raised from the ground with force, enough to split the wood just before it was flung and collided into my friend's shoulder. Before I could get out a word to him Thuggee was in front of my and then everything just blurred as I hit the ground once again. Dodgy didn't miss a beat, nailing me in the torso a few times with his leg. I spat at Thuggee and found it flung back, I won't forget ever making eye contact with that bastard. Him all to happy, winked even, before my blurred over as pain exploded through-out my body. And everything just hurt; I was writhing on the cold ground. It felt like forever before my body began to overcome, to push itself to adapt like I've always forced it to. I groaned trying to pull myself up, finally able to focus on stuff around me.

Sucking it up I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the agony that raked through-out my body. I pulled the knife from my ankle strap and left the room moving towards the ruckus. I could hear him approaching and walked out, slashing at Thuggee with the knife. I used what knife training I had to try and land a blow upon him but he was worse than Dodgy with dodging. He caught my wrist when I went for his chest and with a flick of my arm I heard the snap before I felt it. Thuggee got me in the torso twice and suddenly I found the setting had changing. We were outside, the morning sun making me squint just before I was on the ground... Again. He grabbed my ankle, more pain but I didn't hear a crack or the likes. I was good news until he summoned that fucking orb and I was back to square one with pain raking through my body. Screaming his name with slander.

Another long while I was left writing it felt like. I could barely hear all the yelling and what not around me, it all felt faint as I was on my back, trying to adapt once again. Something shadowed over me and when I squinted upwards I found myself staring into Thy Executor's mask, his hands met the sides of my head and everything shut off, my vision blackened briefly. I felt like a computer restarting, the moment I could see I wrenched away and collapsed, he leaned back down and yanked me to a stand. Told me to wait before vanishing. It was brief before he was back again, Proxy 85 in his arms looking dead. He leaned 85 into my hold, with the one decent arm I've got.

"Leave here immediately, the others already have." I went to argue before looking up and seeing Thuggee with another Executor, I looked back to the one in front of me and knew it was a clone. He grabbed jaw roughly, an overwhelming power emitting off the clone by vibe alone. “Get. Out." He demanded, for once it wasn't a monotone voice. He voice quivered with anger and ripped his hand away, teleporting above to join the battle.

I lifted 85 who was barely conscious, he stumbled to help but could barely manage. I dragged us both to the woods, a man emerged from them that I couldn't recognize. He looked me in the face and I saw it, amber colored eyes (seeing Executor's post I know now it was Prosper flung into a nearby body. His post is correct, I've realized, there is really a nearly completed circle of bodies around our home). He ran back into the mansion as we kept moving farther and farther from it. Mr. Sunshine appeared and took 85 into his arms, lessening the strain on my own body. I leaned against a tree and ordered him to get 85 to the others, taking a second to follow and arrive on the scene of MASC. I was manhandled into the car, smacking the soldier away as he shoved me inside. Mr. Sunshine coddled and at that point I was too pissed off and exhausted to stop him. Just leaned, feeding him some support.

So... All in all we stole their truck and went to a motel. We got situated in the room and Mystery helped me make a splint for my broken arm. We stopped Mr. Sunshine's bleeding collar barely, the fact he was laying down when Executor showed after a short bit and did nothing but growl viciously made me concerned. Executor stayed near the windows, Prosper was at his side leaning awkwardly off a bad leg. Executor was torn up, head to toe. He remained standing straight and slowly scanned the room from left to right before dropping his head to look down at 85 on the bed; the boy was looking back up at him wearily. "Fine mess you brought upon yourselves. Do be more careful in future events." He stated out loud before leaning down and picking up 85's barely breathing body. Executor vanished out of sight and Prosper followed a moment afterwards.

And MASC found us not too long afterwards. Mr. Sunshine was vicious towards them and we had to try and keep him calm, blood loss helped a bit with that. They separated us all which infuriated my beastly friend to the point where they had to sedate him. MASC had a doctor lend me a hand with some treatment while I spent time in the room, glowering at the fellows babysitting. When the medic came in and brought a chair up in front of me, just before he sat down I kicked the leg sending it backwards and watched him hit the floor. One of the soldiers restrained me back into the chair when I went to get up and I barked out how I didn't approve of being manhandled and then having authority forced upon not only myself but my kin. I played nice while the doctor fixed me up and left. Interrogator visited and I laughed, despite my ribs, at his mentions of Mr. Sunshine. He began to force authority and I flashed him a nice bruised smile, "Would you kindly fuck off." left my lips on a cheerful note.

He wasn't happy and sat down across, intimidations tactics won't work with me. He threatened many things and I sat back in the chair wishing I had popcorn. I wasn't fazed, not with those I knew before this all. They needed us, and when Mystery and I met up we both acknowledged it.

Since then we haven't been playing ball. They began getting people to work on repairs; I've been on the sidelines yelling at them doing shit wrong. We were missing people, still are now. Trinity went after Tim and I can't believe I helped distract after seeing her blog post. I'm worried as hell but... She's smart, so damn clever, I know I can trust her to get through it.

So... My axe is cracked, I'm fucked up like everyone else, and... Thuggee broke the chunk of wall I was sleeping on. So I got nowhere to sleep, making a bed in the basement where my trunk is. Mr. Sunshine was stalking me around until Lullaby and Doctor Proctor showed up, now he's following poor Proc around. It's cute, Doc is a bit uneasy by it and I can't help but laugh every time I look over and see Mr. Sunshine shuffling behind him at some distance. Good to have him around, makes for good conversation.

I went out and explored the bodies thing after seeing Executor's post. I followed this trench that was covered by a thin sheet of dirt only. It surrounded the mansion but only made a C, still left to be connected. Which meant Prosper wasn't finished with his work. I found out later from Road Runner's post that Prosper visited her (most likely due to his post which sounds a lot like he's going to try eliminating us or start testing our mettle) and she's the reason his mask is cracked. I found the files I was looking over before, they fell down here from my "bed" during the attack. I put them in the trunk; will post up the information regarding them later. Speaking of the orderly... Yea, he's dead. Baked alive. Did I mention yet how much I loathe Thuggee? Not just for attacking my kin but now killing my lead. Why. Do. All. My. Leads. DIE?

Fuckthislife.

Anyways, I'm going to yell at more MASC soldiers, wander the night on my usual routine walks. Everywhere I go a damn soldier is on my ass, I can't tell you how many times I've chewed them out so far. Hehehe, I made one flinch. It was satisfying.

Post later with some stuff. Going to pull a Doctor House and pop some pain pills.

Ignore typos, one bad wrist and a broken arm makes typing a bitch. Don’t ask how long this post took me to do, heh.

I'm not sure whether or not to be creeped out by being called a seasoned woman. That line, Ike, heh. Anyways, it will be interesting seeing what you bring to the table. So go ahead, stay, I'd like to find out just what it is you are observing for.

why have a reason? well, i guess id like to be productive. perhaps be of help. really, i watch people more because they are of interest. that way i can learn who they are....their beliefs...and if i can learn enough about a person sometimes i even learn to predict their actions.

but mostly, its cause you're just interesting.

Hopeing to be of service and to make people think.as always, your's truly-Ike+