A small body of determined spirits, fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

Mohandas Gandhi

We all fight battles every day, big or small. We battle being given the wrong change, what time the child should go to bed, whether to save or spend, eat or diet, and fight for justice or give up. I have been fighting for justice for three and a half years and I lost.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want sympathy. Sympathy is for the weak. Trust me, I’m do not need that. Yes, it’s depressing. Yes, I am pissed. And I have been thrown off by a very simple little notion – one that is fragile and translucent -but in which I still believe. It’s called “justice.”

This "Hall of Justice"? I was not there...

The quote with which I started this post is to tell you something. Justice comes with faith and faith comes with belief. I had all that. I still have it. And just because I could not convince a random 12 people(that I ran out of challenges to get rid of), of what I believe is true and just does not mean that I have lost my faith or my confidence. It means I had the wrong group of 12 people.

Pretty much my jury...

If you are blessed enough to have children, you know that despite the worst day in the world, when you come home to your children, everything feels better. You can laugh, yell, smile, cuss, worry and cry and you will be met with laughter, teasing, talking, comfort and it will all be out of love. Love of family heals, binds and makes each day worth living.

Here, in this virtual corner of the world, it’s all about my son. My love for this child tops all feelings I’ve ever had for any person. The way his disability has impacted our lives is all encompassing, but, if anything, the disability, even it’s most frustrating and unnerving aspects, only enhance how deeply I love him. I see his beautiful face and his constant smile and recognize the pure goodness of his soul.

As we watch our children grow, they experience things that chip away at the beauty of innocence. Bullying, sadness, death, pain, and regret. And then there is justice. As I fight to re-establish or maintain justice, my son knows that I still believe; that I still have faith. By the example I set, he can see me patching holes in a lack of fairness, keeping faith, preserving innocence and working for good.

If I fail and give up, what will that teach him? Don’t try? Let others dictate what is right even if I do not agree? Give in to others and conform? I will not do it. I will not help kill the faith. My beliefs can make him strong. No, not my delusions. My belief in what is right and true. What is good.

Martin Luther King said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Sometimes, you have to give up if you are wrong and you don’t believe anymore. I still believe. I am not giving up. Justice needs another push. Round one may be over. But, as Margaret Thatcher said, sometimes you have to fight a battle more than once to win it. In my business, it’s called an “appeal.” See you there…

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About solodialogue

I'm a lawyer and the mom of a 6 year old boy with autism.
I work part time and spend the rest driving here and there and everywhere for my son's various therapies. Instead of trying cases, I now play Pac-man and watch SpongeBob. I wear old sweaters and jeans and always, always flat shoes to run after my son.
Yeah, it's different but I wouldn't change it for anything. The love of my child is the most powerful, beautiful and rewarding aspect of my life.

18 Responses to Faith and Justice.

Awww…. Karen. I am so sorry. I know that case meant a lot to you. And I know you’re gonna do the right thing with the appeal. You’re a good person and you’re going to raise a good and just young man. And he’s gonna be proud of his momma — you can bet your life on that!

Thanks my friend. I’ll keep on until someone tells me there is no more road in front of us and then we’ll make our own roads or finally get some justice… we’ll see. (Life can be like a Grisham novel, I’ve found…)

You are so strong, Karen. I said it before, and I will say it again, I am in awe of you. I hope the client you represent can receive justice from her peers. I hope she can feel some sort of relief, closure, SOMETHING that will enable her to do whatever the next step in her life is. I will be keeping my fingers crossed, sending warm thoughts, and saying prayers for the appeal process.

Thanks Kelly. Nothing to be in “awe” of – the awe goes your way with Ted and AJ every day. My client is an exceptionally strong woman but there is only so much the heart can take. I will shoulder it from here as much as I can. Thank you for your kind words. They mean the world to me. And kicking butts is definitely my calling…

Thank you so much for the encouragement! Just put those butts in front of me, and I’ll start some kicking! (The little guy is pretty cute, not that I’m biased or anything!) How can I go wrong with you cheering me on? 🙂

Well, Jessica said it best up there. I’m bummed to learn this news. I know you worked really hard and that this case meant a lot to you. The only other thing I can say is that you had some really ugly jurors. Regardless of that verdict, you rock.