We’ve all experienced loss, what is a loss that has really struck
you? Compare losing someone you knew with someone you
didn’t, and your thoughts on how it affected you.

Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.

We all have experienced loss, that is an absolute truth. I’ve written about my losses a few times on The Blue Honor Blog. These are the times that bring us closer to our humanity, reminding us of what life boils down to. There is both a warning to not take for granted the day and the knowing that the raw feelings we have in the moment of loss suggest that we have indeed been living. How each of us processes loss reveals so much about an individual.

A loss that has stuck with me is one I experienced in my childhood. I was rather attached to my great grandmother, and her passing left a heavy mark. You see, just after my mother had given birth to me, she hemorrhaged. We nearly lost her. After a brief hospital stay, she came home to rest. It was my great gran who came to help my father with me. No doubt, I imprinted on her. Whenever she came for visits to my father’s parent’s house, I shot like a streak of lightning to be there, too. They lived just down the hill from us. My memory of her is cuddling on the couch. I couldn’t tell you what was on the television, just that something was on. I just wanted to be beside her. The other memory I have, is her in the hospital. She had an upset stomach and my dad asked if she wanted some pepto, and would get a nurse. I was scared. Death hung about, and I knew full well what death was. Another memory, she tested her blood regularly for sugar. Great gran had pancreatic cancer, I later learned. There was no escaping the angel waiting to reap a soul. Come home from Girl Scout Camp, I collapsed to my knees at the news of her passing. My good friend and her mom were there, and I heard her mother urge her out. I did not move from my mom’s lap. I just cried for a while. The last memory, time had past, and I was entering my room to go to bed. The full moon was out, and the light shown across my bed. For some reason, I felt like that was her. Ever since, the moonlight has been her quiet presence looking over me. Great gran’s death, as I’ve told others, took part of me with her—a large part.

This loss may have spurred on depression. It’s not something I ever got over. That’s why the loss of my dog, Sadie, this past April worried me. I feared I would wallow. When I adopted her, I knew she would break my heart like this one day. She meant a great deal to me. Though it has only been a few months, I notice that her passing has hung on strong. The suddenness of it is probably why. Unlike the loss of others, who were quite elderly and sick, the loss of someone you believe should have more life strikes much harder. The others passed away after much suffering, so it strikes as more of a mercy. My Uncle Skip‘s passing felt like an injustice too, because he was one half of a couple who still had a lot of life ahead of them together. It’s never felt right, like he was stolen.

In 2017, the world lost one of my favorite people. I can’t say that I knew her well. Her books should grace my shelves, but still don’t because the budget sends me other ways. You must know of whom I speak: Carrie Fisher. She was a childhood hero because of Star Wars. This grand figure became a hero to me in adulthood because of her struggle with mental health and addiction. Carrie was also a great writer. Her razor wit and intelligence rank high on my list of inspirations. Oh, and she was a huge animal lover.

Carrie’s loss really bothered me. I went to see the newest Star Wars film at that time right after her and her mother passed. When the cgi Leia showed up, I cried. I even whimpered a little when my emotions took over. I have not ever felt that strongly at the death of any celebrity. But, Carrie wasn’t just any celebrity. She was my princess, my hero, and a figure that marked a large part of my childhood. I joke that my parents are Han and Leia (they sort of did look like them back in the day). So, her loss really hurt. But, Carrie’s passing I grew to accept. I don’t like it in the least, but I accept it. I don’t like that I will not see anything new from her, but I have the work she has done, and those are a pure joy (what I have read or seen), and something I look forward to (those that I have not read or seen).

Let’s hop on over to see what the other author’s have to say about this topic…

Have you ever spoken to a celebrity you really like?
One you hated? Tell us about the encounters.

Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.

I’ve been fortunate to meet a few people in my lifetime, or see them up close. It’s really nice to know that there is a real human being behind the persona. It’s even better to find out they’re good people. Nothing is worse than discovering someone that you emulate is a real turd.

My brother worked with Fred Astaire on the set of Ghost Story back in the 1980s. He was an extra. You can read more about that here.) I’m good friends with a producer, who has worked on countless projects, more recently organizing film festivals. Through him, I have one degree of separation to a lot of folks. In New York, I went to tapings of both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I stood a few feet away from this pair of icons, even getting to tease Colbert when his wrist bands kept missing me (I still didn’t get one, and I still have a sad face). Another time, I saw John Stamos working. I grew up and worked in Saratoga Springs, where many famous equestrian athletes are found, and also the location of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC). A lot of people go through Saratoga. It’s very well known to Hollywood.

So who have I met? To be honest, I don’t like to hang around and ooo or ahh. They’re usually working and I don’t like to interrupt. Also, I really don’t want to be that annoying person asking them dumb questions they hear daily. They are strangers to me, and I treat them as such, smiling and saying hello and moving along. I don’t know if I could have been that cool though, say, if I met Carrie Fisher. That was on top of my list of hopes. She was one of my heroes, and still is.

Most of my encounters take place through social media. I have had Flo Rida, Alyssa Milano, Rose McGowan, Asia Argento, and Mark Hamill like my replies. I have even had Mark H and Ashley Judd respond to one of my posts. Politicians have listened to and responded to my tirades.

My favorite so far was Mark Hamill. There’s nothing like one of your childhood icons acknowledging your existence. I actually felt more real because of it. No joke. Me and my brother grew up on Star Wars. You can imagine how it felt, right? My brother is still jealous. I would screencap the tweets and send them to him. We joke he’s now Uncle Mark. Certainly, we could stand to replace one of our uncles with him!

It occurred to me at that moment that I could have talked to Carrie Fisher. She too was on Twitter. Fuck. I’m broken hearted all over again.

While my mood is bad, I’ll try to improve it by telling you that I met Geraldo Rivera and also Maestro Charles Dutoit (conductor of the Philadelphia orchestra at the time), while working at the Gideon Putnam resort as a teenager. Rivera was an jerk. His girlfriend told my sixteen year old self not to get up to any hanky panky with the nearly 40 year old overweight, clown looking maintenance dude. Rich people can be such ass bags. I was not impressed. Dutoit was better, much classier, but aloof and snooty–maybe just that he was french. He was sharing his room with one of the violinists. She was lovely. Couldn’t blame him! She did not speak to me, scanned me, so it was clear she was very insecure. When I think back on it, it was clear that was not a great match, being based on his position with the orchestra. However, they did marry in 2010. He in his 70s and she 49. That was good to learn. She is still just as lovely.

My encounter with Maestro Dutoit and his now wife was as a maid in the hotel. I was called up to make up the sofa bed for guests they’d be having staying with them. Also, I did night turn down service, which included replacing towels, turning down the corner of the beds, fresh glasses if needed, and placing chocolates on the stand. They could also make other requests, like taking things away, such as trays, and getting fresh blankets, and so on. It sucked. While making up the bed, we got on the subject of French, and how I was trying to study the language in school, but I was terrible. He said I was wasting my time trying to learn that way–I needed to relocate, and find a french speaking boyfriend, something to make it worth the effort, and keep my interest. In a way, he was absolutely correct. Immersion is the best way to learn, and being passionate about something makes it much easier to accomplish. Regardless, I moved on to German! That I am passionate about without an significant other, and I a doing well with an immersion software. Finding the time is the only obstacle.

I forgot to mention that I met Mrs. Kraft, of Kraft Foods. She tipped me and another girl who made up her bed, under tight supervision $0.50. All that money and super out of touch. Honestly, she did not need to tip us at all. It would not have been insulting. The half dollar, though, that made it annoying. It tells you just what you’re thought of.

I still buy blue box mac and cheese, and many of their products. She was wonderful to my brother, I guess, as he worked there and served her many times. I always wondered what was in her mind for giving us girls that silly tip. Probably it’s better left unknown!

In 2009 I met the brilliant Melissa Leo at the Upstate Independents gala, Albany, NY. She was quite gracious. A colleague of mine introduced us, as her daughter (Molly) had just produced one of her films (Frozen River 2008). I did not say much, just standing by quietly. A lot of other people there that night were vying for her attention, so I didn’t want to be yet another. I imagine it is quite exhausting. I miss my friend, and remembering this moment makes me think of Lynn more than anything.

That’s pretty much all that I recall right now, so let’s hop over to see what the other authors have to tell us about who they’ve met.

Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.

I’ve faced some heavy obstacles in my life. No stranger to hardship, I made a choice to not fear. In my mind, I figured, if the powers that be were testing me, or abusing me, then removing any tools for them to use would keep me safe. Like buddhist monks, I learned to both control my emotions and come to terms with them as they manifested.

Fear is a difficult emotion to overcome. It is a safety mechanism from our earliest days. Overriding the hard wiring of the brain takes stone will. Having stone will was another goal of mine in the face of my struggles. To overcome any obstacle, to not shy away, to continue on the path you’ve chosen for yourself, you must have stone will.

My answer to the question isn’t going to be the most typical. Certainly it is something that should be a bit obvious. Undoubtedly the root reason will be a more obscure.

My greatest fear at this point in my life is that I will lose the ability to publish my work. It isn’t a lack of sales, or anonymity. It isn’t even a lack of ideas to write. I’m blessed to have already written six beautiful books, which will all be published (or so I think) by the end of 2020. That is my goal, anyway. Finding and affording editors, proofers, and covers will move those dates around a bit, as the process always does.

Between now and then, after then, I will be afraid that the platform that has allowed me to publish could dissolve. It has happened before, with the closing of Booktrope, and therefore I know that possibility lies in wait. One might say, that with my concern for something having power over my fate, or my worry that fear produces such experiences, I should not mention it. Sometimes, speaking the word removes the power. After all, there are so many ways to be sure your work as an author gets out.

In reality, the fear is having to go through figuring out my outlet all over again. It is such a difficult path to forge without help, without information, with few resources… Could I? Should I? Would I? I cannot say. One too many blows to the heart will make a person shy. I’m already shy. Another strike that hard, that would be a killing blow, I’d wager. That would probably put an end to my writing—not because I don’t love it, or no longer would want to write. The difficulty and suffering cannot be sustained, and either adversity ebbs, or we do.

Who is your favorite antagonist/bad guy/villain in your
books and why? What makes him/her tick?

Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.

I’d like to say that my favorite villain is Carsten Reiniger from OP-DEC: Operation Deceit, but I’d be lying. As sexy and bad as he is, Carsten is also good man underneath it all. He’s a complicated character operating in complicated times. It’s way too easy to point to him. Doing so would just be hiding the real villain on my shelf: The Baron, Morgentus.

This character is antagonist through book one of The Trailokya Trilogy. He’s not complicated at all. He’s a straight up monster. Literally. You see, he’s what modern Christianity refers to as a demon. In the books, his race is danava, the shadowalkers; those cast from Zion for major crimes including treason, rape, and murder. They are former duta (angels), some of the most powerful beings in the universe. When they were incarcerated in Jahannam by the king, a dark world that serves as a prison, their power was corrupted and weakened. Without the perpetual light, they lost a great deal of strength. Readers should not think for one moment, however, that makes them nothing to be concerned about.

Danava have been pecking away at the bonds of their shelter for eons, making inroads into the lower plane called Samsara. From there, they launch small scale attacks and clandestine operations in an effort to take back Zion.

That’s just in the book. Books all have a place from which they spring. Trailokya is no different. The series is the culmination of lifelong learning and personal experiences. When I was younger, I would have nightmares about this pale stranger with the jet black hair. He would stalk me through a seemingly innocuous dream, turning it sinister just by his presence. That presence filled me with so much fear. As a child, that was especially troublesome. The visits went on for years, thankfully spaced out for months and years. I still remembered him, due to the horrible impression he made. Even as an adult he would arrive suddenly, and I would feel like a scared girl again, ready to piss like a puppy.

That was until I had enough. Sometimes, we are strong enough to manage to take control of a dream. Lucid dreaming is an interesting experience in itself. I used the moment to rally my power and send this figure from my head forever. For more than ten years, I did not see him, but I have recently, and his power over me was completely gone, but for the concern that he was able to show his face once more.

These dreams inform the character that I arranged for the book. It is my hope that readers will feel some of the terror that I once did at his presence. It’s hard to tell if it’s effective, because I have so thoroughly dealt with such fears. Writing it out doesn’t impact me as it once would have.

Morgentus is a prototypical psychopath with narcissistic tendencies. His history is tragic one, but we do not feel pity for this fallen. He committed terrible crimes, which I will not enumerate here, because you’ll just have to read the books to find out all that he had done. During the course of The Shadow Soul, you’ll be subject to his sudden appearance and tenacity, all aimed at our troubled hero. The Baron feel unstoppable, a cat toying with a mouse. His sadistic pleasure at waiting out his victims shakes you at the core. His power is impossibly great, despite his fall. Combine that with his origin story and you have quite an intimidating villain to read, if you dare.

Tell us about your favorite piece of furniture.
Does it have a story behind it?

Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.

My favorite piece of furniture isn’t something that I own. It is a piece of furniture I have wanted for a very long time though. There’s one on my Amazon.com wish list. I’ve often thought of throwing caution to the wind and just putting it on my credit card. Now, however, more than ever, just charging something is foolish. There are very important choices to make instead, like affording the roof over my little family’s heads. But, perhaps someday, I will have one.

Fainting couches are very romantic pieces of furniture. I’m not a romantic person at heart, but I do like the looks of sculpted furniture, tufted seats, scrolling arms and all of that style. Modern design really misses the mark in my opinion. The straight lines and lack of character are far too stark for my tastes.

As you might guess, I’m very much a fan of antique furniture starting at the turn of the 20th century to way back into the middle ages. That makes a lot of sense when you recall that I am a historian and historical fiction writer. I suppose dark fantasy also hints at that, because there is so much gothic design in the genre.

Fainting couches don’t have a back story for me. They just have caught my eye and held it for a long time. I’d love to add that I also have a bombay chest and victorian couch in my home decorating wish list. Having access to classic heavy wood furniture is a dream of mine that I hope to make reality one day. For the time being, I’m working with hand me down stuff from my family. It’s been a struggle getting the basics in life while paying off student debt and dealing with the standard American subpar wages, along with the lack of jobs. Having a degree doesn’t give you access to better paying jobs and it doesn’t open the door to higher paying jobs, except in a very few markets, and those markets are extremely competitive. If your grades aren’t up there, you don’t get to study—either you can’t get into universities or you will be in over your head. So, we do the best we can with what we are given and struggle forward to succeed, right? Let me tell you, even with a masters and a high GPA it’s still hard getting through those doors!

So, one day, I will have that couch to remind me that I won the struggle. That’s the plan anyway. Let’s go look at the furniture the other authors have to share with us…