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April 13, 2009

Silly Driving Laws

I blame my high school social studies teacher for my love of useless information. He started each morning with a piece of silly trivia, and my fondness for it has stuck to this day. One of my favorite things are silly laws that are still on the books in many cities and states in our country. With the help of Aha Jokes, I share with you the list of silly driving and automobile laws still enforceable in the United States today:

Alaska - No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. Presumably you can tie a dog that is not your pet to your roof, however.

Alabama - drivers cannot drive barefoot or blindfolded.But you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern affixed to the front of your car.

Arkansas - In Little Rock, no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. I don't know if this means you can honk before 9:00 PM, or you can honk if they only serve hot beverages after 9:00 PM, though.

Arizona - Cars may not be driven in reverse in the city of Glendale. Hope you have a circular driveway.

California - It is illegal for women to drive wearing a housecoat.It’s also illegal to shoot game from a vehicle, except for whales. In Long Beach, the only item allowed in a garage is a car. I used to live in Long Beach, and I violated this one - my washing machine was in my garage. In San Francisco,it is illegal to wipe your car with used underwear. Eww.

Iowa - It is illegal to throw bricks onto the highway without obtaining permission from the local city council. I can't imagine when they would grant permission.

Colorado - In Denver, it is illegal to drive a black car on Sundays.

Connecticut - In New Britain, it is illegal for a fire truck to drive more than 25 miles per hour, even on the way to a fire. I hope it's a small town.

Florida - If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you still have to pay the fee, as if you parked a car there. Seems fair.

Georgia - Members of the state assembly may not be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.

Illinois - In Chicago, drivers are required to contact the police before driving into the city. Can you imagine how many calls they must get in a day? In Evanston, it is illegal to change your clothes in a car, except in cases of fire. Of course, I think it's pretty stupid to change your clothes in a burning car.

Indiana - A male driver over 18 can be arrested for transporting a girl under the age of 17 that is not wearing socks and shoes. That's it. Doesn't say she needs to be wearing anything else.

Kansas - In Wichita,before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.

Louisiana - In New Orleans it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is walking in front of it, waving a flag. You'll notice a trend with this one if you keep reading.

Massachusetts - Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. Must be a lot of off duty lights on cabs in MA.

Michigan - Couples may not neck in a vehicle unless the vehicle is parked on their property.

Mississippi - In Oxford, horn honking is illegal because it scares horses.

Montana - It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. Of course, the law doesn't specify if the chaperone can't be another sheep.

Nevada - It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. Down the strip is presumably ok.

New Hampshire - Cattle crossing the road must wear a crap collection device. I wonder who sells those?

New Jersey - You may not apply for personalized plates if you have been convicted of drunk driving, and cars maynot pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

North Carolina - In Forest City you must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town.

Oklahoma - It is illegal to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle. The newspaper is presumably fine, however.

Ohio - Drivers must slow down or stop when approaching a horse, and in Youngstown, It is illegal to run out of gas, or ride on the roof of a taxi.

Pennsylvania - Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. A ROCKET signal. Not a flare. Also, any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes. Wouldn't the sound of dismantling a car make the horses downright petrified?

South Carolina - When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic. Be careful of where the ammo comes down!

Tennessee - In Memphis it is illegal for a woman to drive a car alone - she must have a man in the front seat waving a red flag. Sorta like New Orleans. It’s also illegal for anyone to drive while asleep, and you can’t shoot game from your car, except whales. How many whales live in Tennessee?

Texas - It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.

Virginia - Waynesboro yet again makes it illegal for a woman to drive a car up

Main Street

unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

Washington - At least Washington doesn't discriminate. ALL motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.

West Virginia - Roadkill may be taken home for supper. You don't even have to be the one that hit it.

Wisconsin - In Milwaukee, an ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car. What you do with the horse after that two hours is up is a mystery.