Monday, 30 April 2012

I have recently had my book ''Married to a Devil'' published by Chipmunka and most people started asking me the question, ''What happened to Vimbai? Is she still alive?'' It's sad isn't it ,to be born disabled and go through all that. Yes it is a true story. Very inspirational though to anybody men and women. I will not at this point disclose what happened to Vimbai though.
And yes disability was an issue when I was growing up and it was just unacceptable. There was always something wrong with a family of with a disabled child.
Having nearly raped myself ,I know waht went through many men's minds when they saw Vimbai and her heavy arm. However she perservered it all and soldiered on.

Married to a Devil brings hope to all and proves that determination is the key to success and that disability is not inability.

Enjoy the book!!
You can find it on http//chipmunkapublishing.co.uk//shop

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

I have not been blogging for the past two days because of a tooth ache.Anyway it feels better now thanks to my dentist.

This time I am talking about an experience which took place early this year when I visited my family in Africa. Having spend most of my time cold in the UK,I always try to time the journey for when it's warm. So while friends were celebrating the beginning of a new year,I was getting excited and preparing for my journey to mother Africa.

When I arrived all was well.Friends and family were happy to see me. I travelled to see relatives around the country and was just happy.

Having been looking forward to a warm January among my clothes were several short dresses and shorts. Surely something that would be ideal for warm weather. Little did I expect an attack from my fellow countrymen.
On one occasion a man shouted at me saying ,''Someone should rape you to teach you a lesson. How can you dress like that? People like you are spreading disease around''.

I was gobsmacked. Here I was,trying to enjoy myself and having to rush to the car for safety because some stupid men thought I should have been wearing a very long dress.

All I know is in life we all have choices and if I chose to wear a short dress,that's my choice and people should just let me be.

I don't question men when they take off their shirts because of the heat.

As if that was not enough in the capital itself as I was walking drawing in the scenery another man roughly pushed past me and said ''Young lady,its all your fault if you get raped''.
At that instant I realised how dangerous it was for me around there but I continued walking as if nothing had happened.
I had so many questions but I also realised that society has always justifies the unjustifiable. Why should it be the lady's fault if some sick minded person decides to rape? Long dress or short dress,should women not feel free to walk about?

I still don't understand why those men thought if one wears a short dress they should be raped so that they learn a lesson.What lesson? There is many rape victims who had never even worn short skirts or dresses but still got raped.

Come on ,Let's face it, it is the kind of excuse given by silly, sick, twisted and weak men.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Whenever people talk about racism, it's always thought they are talking about black and white. While this is true in many cases,sometimes racism can exist between people of the same skin colour.
In 2009,I shared accomodation with an old man from Jamaica. Much as he pretended to chat with me when he could and talk about Africa,he could not hide how much he hated black Africans. As far as he was concerned,there was no life in Africa except poverty,killing each other with machetes and procreation. That is a mind of an ignorant person or ne with a chip on shoulder.

At first I was angry with him as one would in the circumstances,but I realised it was ignorance on his part.

All I know is all people are equal whether black,brown or white.

The reason I am talking about racism is because of an article I read of a South African woman who said to a black man, ''You are a kaffir and you will remain a Kaffir''. This woman was not provoked in any way. I did not know people still used the word. Disappointing especially in the democratic South Africa where tolerance has long been preached by Mandela the great.

Having been in South Africa myself many times I know how some white South Africans especially the older generation still treat black South Africans like second class citizen. I know of friends and relatives who work for these white South Africans and how on daily basis take insults based on the skin colour.
I also know of good white South Africans who treat black people as equal.

It's a weird world.

To those ignorant people who thinks there is something wrong with being black or being black African,I challenge you to have good look at yourself. You will know why you think in such a moronic way.It's because you have chip on your shoulder and tries to make yourself feel better by belittling others.How pathetic.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Much as I want to put this topic aside,I still think I can say more. Following my comment on the South African gang rape( where a disabled girl of 14 was gang raped), I was surprised by the comments from the next of kin/ relatives of the perpetrators.

One of the boys' grandmother said,

''How can such good boys and God fearing boys do such a thing? It's not them.''

It is clear these boys do not fear and respect anybody including the parents who are supporting them.The fact remains these boys were caught on camera and to even call them God fearing is like mocking God or maybe there is another god they are refering to, not the God we all know.

Besides being sick in th head,these boys are sadistic and in my opinion do not deserve to be called human beings.

The problem I still think lies with many cultures. This attitude that women are their to be possesed has led many rapists to believe they have to prove a point to society and their fellow men-hence gang rapping.

In the socially volatile African life filled with HIV/AIDS, one really feel pity for the women who could be innocently infected. The question is why?
Maybe schools curricula should include lessons on Rape and the consequences on victims and society at large. Tougher prison sentences should be given to those guilty.

Like he is the role model to many( having got away with rape himself) ,Zuma should come clean and let his citizens know it is inhuman to inflict such pain on another being

This says it all.."god-fearing”, “kind-hearted”, “good” and “hard-working" men
in South Africa do gang rape of a mentally vulnerable minor.

Watch your
backs people, our world is not what we used to think it is.

Friday, 20 April 2012

I thought since I had my people having a go at me over my support of gay rights, I should change the topic and talk about something else. I will talk about Rape.

According to African News 24, South Africa has been named by Interpol the ''world rape capital''
It further said in South Africa,''Girls have a more chance of being raped than being educated''. Sick,don't you think? I think it's crazy and it's time the SA government take this seriously.

I further managed to follow South Africans and their reaction to this and most agree and some were actually congratulating Zuma for leading country to this. How can ordinary people not do it when the president himself was once involved in a rape case. Like father like son they say. Has the South African President failed to be examplary? If he could rape and get away with it then surely those without conscience think they can follow suit.

If it was only a South African issue I would believe them. The truth is cases of rape are on the increase in many societies even the West which brings the question -is there something wrong with our men? Why when a woman says no do men think they are saying yes?
Those who rape have no idea how they mess up people's lives and the trauma these people carry until they die.

I was nearly raped myself when I was at the University more than a decade ago and this is the first time I have said it because I was touched by the disabled teen who was gang raped in South Africa. I said was nearly because I managed to scream and luckily help was nearby and my attacker escaped but I still think about it like it happened yesterday. I can imagine how difficult it is to move on for those who are actually raped.

In most cases rape victims are made to feel as if it was their fault which is why I never reported my attempted rape despite knowing the culprit. In some communities the perpertrators are protected by society because ''the woman was begging for it'' which is wrong. Is it a power and control game or just lack of understanding of men?

In many rape cases women always say no to these sexual advances but it seems it's a language that some of these men or animals can never understand.

I think it's time society shifts the blame to men instead of always blaming the victims. I also think it's time people in power take this crime seriously lest we go back to the age were women get more and more dehumanized.

To those men who have a habit of raping women, I guess I can safely say they are cowards if not animals who don't deserve to be called human beings. How can anyone enjoy the suffering of another being?

Maybe it's time we go back to basics and teach men to respect women and if a person says No to sex,then they mean No. This applies to those even in relationships- wives ,girlfriends and partners. Any sexual advance without the other part's consent is still rape.

Thursday, 19 April 2012

What I am going to say has been said so many times and I merely repeating known facts.I will say it though because I want to.
Yesterday a friend texted me on ''Whatsapp'' and said he had a new woman.
I said , ''You and women,what happened to the one you had before?'

He said,''You should be happy because I am not gay''.

I was shocked. I know many people in Africa think or are made to think it's wrong to be a homosexual but I do not agree and I did not expect to hear this from my young friend.

He is only twenty six and all his time he hd been told ''being gay is wrong''.
There is nothing wrong with being homosexual. It's time Africa face the truth. Whether they like it or not homosexuality has always been there- obviously back then done behind closed doors and it will always be there.
To the younger generations of Africans it's time to accept reality and stop burying your heads under the sand. There is nothing wrong with being what one wants to be.
As individuals we are all our own authors with different stories.

To my friend I said '' Whether you were gay or not I will be happy''.
He did not understand and said Europe had changed me. The truth I grew up with a gay cousin and there was nothing wrong with him. I have always respected his sexual orientation and that was before I came to Europe.
If we are tolerant of one another,the world would be a better place.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

I was just thinking how some of you will react to this but I do agree with this. I said earlier on quoting the President of Malawi,

''Most African women are taught to endure abusive marriages... because they are not empowered economically, they depend on their husband”

A couple of men thought it was not true including my best friend. I dont blame him. Recently things have started to happen but not to all African women. Think of the continent-how many women in their 40s,50s and above are educated? Think of other parts of the developing world-how many of these women has an education? I don't have the figures but there are many who rely on their husbands and would not afford to leave them.

It is hard to imagine why anyone would want to do that-stay in hell,one may ask.The truth is most women have not been able to get out of this mentality because of lack of economic sustainabilty.

Educated African women do not fit in the above quotation since they are now able to stand and support themselves. Some though still hold on to the teachings of their mothers and aunt- stay by your husband no matter what- gomera uripo.

The generation of our mothers grew up feeling that way and most could leave for years or even a lifetime of battering all because they could not face the world without their abusers.There is hope for the new generation who are now getting more and more independent financially and socially.We are getting there.

I am just thinking -how time flies. Thirty two years ago one of Africa's great countries became independent. I was four years then. Here we go. I am sure if you know your history,you know the country I am referring to.
''Ropa rakadeuka''(blood was shed) as my people would say for you and me. Relatives,friends ,sons and daughters were lost and tears were shed. From Rhodesia to Zimbabwe - a new nation was born
A new chapter opened.

However recently I was in Africa and realised a new form of colonialism from the east this time.
It's all about China. I am sure soon mandarin will be considered in schools.
Do we not risk risk loosing our precious independence again just to prove that without the west life goes on.
Just a thought. Happy 32nd birthday Zimbabwe.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

I don't know if there is any one out there reading my blog. I will carry on saying what you might find interesting or even boring. But sucess to failure is giving upso I wont give give up because I am determined.
Sometimes it's difficult after a busy day but blogging becomes another way of taking it out-therapeutic.
It is enjoyable.

Blessed are the countries that have democracy and no violence in any form, for they shall progress and do well.
My next story if one can guess will be about violence and diamonds. Politics- yes and no.
Botswana-a country of diamonds and peace. Food for thought.

Social networking,nice as it to be able to communicate with friends all over the world apparently brings the worst in people. Recently I had a friend request on facebook from a friend I have not seen in twenty years. Yes it was very nice having all the catching up to do.It was the reminder of things that I could not even remember about myself that brought me to this question-How many of the things that people tell friends about have actually happened? Some tell lies ,the reason being wanting to go along with the flow - belonging. But who cares? As long as it makes one happy and no one is hurt,that is alright. Social networking is one of the best thing to happen to mankind. For me home is in the next county all because of Facebook and other channels of communications.

We will have to see what's new on the social networking arena in 10 to 15 years time.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

The programme on Unreported World on Channel 4 really touched me and I wish I could help. It left me crying and I can see how lucky I am.I went to school in a peaceful country and my successes and failures were all down to me.These kids will never have a choice.Their fate seem to have been sealed by being born in Sudan and being Christians. How many of those kids will grow up with all limps,how many will become doctors or teachers? The world or those with means must surely intervene and help situations like these.

I watched the programme unreported world on channel 4 and was saddened by the way innocent people are terrorised by the government forces. What has the world become? What does the future hold for these children?
African dictators always inflicting pain on their people but still talk of democracy. What a shame the international community does not see it fit to intervene.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Of late I have realised how difficult it is to be an author and keep many friends. Some of my friends do not understand how challenging it is-keeping a full time job as well as writing a novel. For them, It is easy and everyone can do it but I can't help notiving how cynical it is.It could be true but one has to have passion for creativity,otherwise it would not happen.

I do enjoy writing like many of my people but it's doing it agains all odds that differentiate us. I don't write because of the money or fame associated with authors like Jane Austen or Shakespeare,but I do it as a hobby.I do it because I love it. Writing I will always do.

Quotes

Married to a Devil

About Me

Welcome to my blog!
I hope you find it interesting. If there is nothing of interest today,please keep on checking. You may never know what tomorrow has.
I write about issues that affect women mostly in the underdeveloped parts of the world. My first book is called 'Married to a Devil'.
Don't get me wrong,I also write about men.
Buy my book 'Married To A Devil' on Amazonor buy from Chipmunkapublishing.co.uk