The Power Of The Other

With a little bit of time away, I was able to read the “Power Of The Other" by Dr. Henry Cloud. I’m not going to lie, he’s one of my favorites!:) So here you go…..The quality of your life and the level of your success are both highly influenced by the kind of relationships you have and the people you connect with. So says the Dr., who says our success in life isn’t only dependent on how we develop our own skills or abilities, but is highly connected to the kind of people we have in our life. I totally agree, and I recommend anything my friend writes. I was challenged and encouraged by his insights, and I think they are incredibly important for any leader to grab hold of and apply. I encourage you to really dig into the things he says! Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1: The Neglected Truth

Your best and worst seasons were also about who was in that season with you. It was not just about you. It was about the others who were playing a big part in whom you were becoming and what you were doing.

CHAPTER 2: The Science of Connection

Science confirms that getting to the next level is 100 percent dependent on relationships. Whatever we hope to achieve, our success depends on relationships with others.

CHAPTER 3: The Four Corners of Connection

The reality is that you are always in one of four places of connection or four possible corners of relational space, and only one of them will help you thrive.

Corner One: Disconnected/No Connection

Corner Two: The Bad Connection

Corner Three: The Pseudo-Good Connection

Corner Four: True Connection

CHAPTER 4: Go to Corner Four

In the simplest terms, a real connection is one in which you can be your whole self, the real, authentic you; a relationship to which you can bring your heart, mind, soul, and passion. Corner Four is a place where people have true connection, and where they can be authentic.

CHAPTER 5: The Fuel for High Performance

Look at your own life and work right now. Are you surrounding yourself with people who fuel you? Make sure that you have these kinds of Corner Four “fueling stations” in your life, at regular intervals. Similarly, start paying attention to those who drain your energy.

CHAPTER 6: Freedom and Control

The degree to which you are going to soar depends, in part, upon finding Corner Four partners who empower your sense of self-control instead of trying to take it away or diminish it.

CHAPTER 7: Freedom Requires Responsibility

Corner Four relationships don’t rescue us from hard decisions or responsibility. Corner Four accountability is a commitment to what is best at three levels: (1) both for all the individuals involved (2) the relationship(s) and (3) the outcomes.

CHAPTER 8: Defanging the Beast

When we are in a negative critical state, the brain is not doing its best thinking, problem solving, or a host of other capacities that you need to win. Breaking the pattern requires more than a shoulder to cry on. We need to take the fangs out of failure.

CHAPTER 9: The Right Kind of Push

Corner Four relationships possess specific ingredients that help people move uphill. One absolutely critical role that others play is helping us achieve challenging, realistic and achievable goals.

CHAPTER 10: Bringing the Outside In

Corner Four relationships don’t end even after they end. The lessons we learn and the phrases that motivate us are ours to keep forever. Psychologists refer to this process as internalization. It’s bringing what was on the outside inside.

CHAPTER 11: The Bermuda Triangle of Relationships

Divisiveness is one of the most destructive forces in any relational system. It not only prevents resolution, growth, and forward movement, but it also makes problems worse by pitting one person against another and creating further splits throughout the team, family or organization.

CHAPTER 12: Trust

There are a handful of universal concepts and principles that apply to every single individual or group performance challenge. Trust is one of those concepts, especially when it comes to tapping into the power of the other. To make an investment in anyone, trust is paramount.

CONCLUSION: Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last

As you go through the routines of your life such as meeting with colleagues, catching up with family at holidays, having dinner with friends, or taking walks with your spouse, are you feeling protected, advised, supported, and rewarded in Corner Four? I hope you find your Corner Four, live there as much as possible, and outperform even your wildest dreams.