Sunday, April 20, 2008

April showers bring pretty flowers

Open: "Early this morning, it did not look good for baseball here in Baltimore. But as they say, April showers bring....pretty flowers! That's right! We've got baseball, we've got pretty flowers, we've got everything you could possibly want here on YES!!"

Actually, no one says that. April showers bring May flowers. And you don't have everything I could possibly want -- namely you out of the broadcast booth.

Top 1st: "I asked Alex today, "Do you think your swing is long?' He said, 'Yeah I do.' He said, 'I'm trying to do too much.' He said, 'I just have to take my walks.' He said, 'When everyone else is hitting,' he said, 'then I'll see better pitches to hit.' He said, 'But I'm trying to drive pitches way off the plate and that makes your swing too long.' He said, 'One day recently my swing was short...'"

A new record! Kay surpasses the six "he said"s from yesterday's game with seven in a row today. Congratulations, Michael. You just keep getting worse and worse.

Bot 1st: On Nick Markakis: "Wasn't a tremendously high draft pick, but moved through the system."

Who knows what Kay's thinking, but 2003's seventh-overall pick sounds pretty high to us. We're not exactly talking about an unheralded, 23rd-round underdog who's surprised everyone on his way to stardom, but that's what Kay would have you believe. Anything for a better story.

Top 4th: "You know, you talked about how [Ian] Kennedy and [Phil] Hughes should watch [Andy] Pettitte. You know, watch [Stevel] Trachsel too. Watch veterans that, you know, they wish they had the stuff that those kids have..."

You know, this is less than a day after Kay rightly pointed out -- about 10 times -- that, you know, since Kennedy didn't have plus stuff, he had little margin for error if, you know, he didn't have good command. Now all of a sudden, you know, he's got good stuff.

Play-call of Hideki Matsui's one-out double: "High drive, right field. Giving chase Markakis, on the run....it will be...hopping over the wall....but stay in, should I say, and it's going to be a double and an RBI for A-Rod......or scoring A-Rod by Matsui, and it's 2-0, Yankees."

We hope you stayed tuned for the next batter when Robinson Cano threw out Brian Roberts....or rather Roberts threw out Cano, for the third....or should we say, second, out of the inning.

Top 6th: "You know, Kenny, you look at [Bobby] Abreu with the Yankees and he really, he has revived his career."

Great display of National League knowledge, Michael. If ever Abreu's career was in any doubt, it was in 2007 with the Yankees, not the Phillies. A look at his OPS+ numbers per season the last five years: 2003 - 136 , 2004 - 145, 2005 - 126, 2006/PHI - 118, 2006/NYY- 138, 2007 - 114.

After appearing to strain a thigh muscle while reaching on a fielder's choice, Rodriguez is pinch-run for by Morgan Ensberg. "[Rodriguez] is the only Yankee to play in every game this year."

If you look closely, you'll notice that Cano has also played in every Yankees game this year. There's a line about keeping quiet if you haven't done your homework...

Top 7th: Play-call of Chad Moeller's one-out double to left: "Driven deep to left field! There it goes!! Sssssee....off the wall!"

Is Kay turning into John Sterling with his abortive home-run calls? Yes, the ball was hit hard, but next time please save your "there it goes!" line for no-doubters.

On Chad Bradford, who surrendered Johnny Damon's two-run homer: "You know, the one thing about a pitcher who throws sidearm or underhanded..."

Yes, because the submarining Bradford has received hours of instruction from Jenny Finch and Lisa Fernandez to help him with his underhanded windup.

Bot 7th: A few innings after Kevin Millar's smeared eyeblack caused Kay to remark that "Alice Cooper holding the runner on," Kay now says that "Millar looks like he's auditioning for the reunion tour for KISS."

Thanks, Michael, because we didn't get the stretched joke the first time. And putting aside the fact that reunion tours don't involve imitation acts, you look like you're auditioning for the reunion tour of pencil erasers.

Bot 8th: A rain delay. "They want to save the infield, the skin of the infield, so the quicker they can get the tarp on, the less money it will be when it stops raining."

What?

Final score: Yankees 7, Orioles 1I owe Juan Rivera an apology: 3. Markakis almost wasn't drafted, Abreu was a scrub on the Phillies, Cano's pinch-hit home run never happened.