Met "balanced policing" to shoot young white men without warning

Addressing complaints that the Metropolitan Police was racist, the police commmander announced that for every young black or asian man they shoot in the city, they will shoot a white man.

The commander said "there have been accusations of racial profiling when we intercept and kill people without warning -we will address this by having the DVLA giving us the registration number of someone at random to stop and shoot".

Addressing concerns that the new video recording system will result in scandals of shooting even more people, he reassured the press that their video editing software is now being upgraded to manufacture fake videos of white men holding guns.