EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BALL #6

Ever since the story broke Sunday night that the New England Patriots were using deflated footballs, the media has been trying to obtain any kind of information at all on why it happened and how long it has been going on.

Until now, everyone has pleaded ignorance that could be or is involved in this firestorm which has engulfed the free world.

But, our crack staff at BJOTG has obtained an exclusive interview with ball #6, of the 11, that were deflated. In accordance to rules that were set up prior to this interview, Ball #6’s real name will not be revealed and his location. Other than that, he was free to talk about what went on.

Here is a pic of him.

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“How did you get started in the business?”

Well, great question. It is a legacy thing. My dad did it. My Grandpa did it. And I have had several cousins who have done it but only my gramps was on the professional level like myself.

I would go hang out at his games and see his balls get deflated

Here is an early pic of gramps.

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“When You First Heard You Were Being Investigated, What Went Through Your Mind?”

Wow, another great question. My first thought, “Is Lowes hiring?” Hahaha…Just kidding, but not really. My first thought is that I knew it was only a matter of time. Guys were living on the edge. Parties, drugs, girls, cars, etc., it was getting out of hand. We are talking big things because these balls were getting crazy and full of themselves.

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“Was There A Ringleader To All Of This? I Guess What I Am Asking, Who Was The Biggest Ball Of Them All?

It was Randy. Tom Brady’s best friend. Those two did everything together. Vacation, birthdays, parties, etc., Randy and Tom were always together. It was awful how big of a head Randy got from hanging out with Tom.

Here is a pic of the two of them.

I really despise him.

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“Worst Part Of The Job?”

You’re kidding, right?

The worst part of the job is very easy to describe.

Every time that big ass dumb ass caveman Gronkowski would score a TD and then, spike the ball.

I swear if I had balls, they would have been crushed by that damn jabroni.

Please don’t show me a pic! Please don’t.

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“If You Were So Worried, Why Didn’t You Speak Out Earlier?”

Are you kidding me man? Are you FKing kidding me? We thought about it but Randy got word that someone might be and I am pretty sure ball #12 did speak out.

One time, I was late for practice and Randy got pissed and said, “Next time you are late, this will be you!”

What the hell would you do? Man, I have a wife and kids.

Look at my precious family.

LOOK AT THEM!

Exactly man. Exactly.

Now, I don’t know what will happen to us. To me. To them.

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“Now It Seems To All Be Over, What Are You Going To Miss The Most?”

The bonding. The Friendships. The good times. And, the bad times.

But, I will mostly miss the moments.

Does that make sense?

It was about the moments man. The moments. The hugs, the smiles, the tears, the laughter.