I have 3 boys of my own. Currently, I have a totally of 7 boys playing in the backyard. They are a collection of my own children, school friends, and neighborhood buddies. I am sitting here on my couch watching them. I am convinced that little boys are not very self preserving when it comes to their choices. Anyone else wonder how the male species survives childhood? Good grief.

I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

You just don't have to explain such things to little GIRLS...do you?

You are not kidding! I have one of each and I have to ask myself almost daily where the hell my son came up with the idea to do {insert something sure to kill himself here} when my daughter would never have done something like that!

I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

lol! I have not had the sunglasses on the penis thing yet. That is hilarious!

I did just have to explain to them that throwing bricks (yes, bricks) is dangerous and they actually asked why they were dangerous! Really?!

Yesterday I had the two older ones clean the entire bathroom because they had the brilliant idea that using their streaming pee, would make an excellent light saber. Apparently the 6yr old had a more full bladder and his "light saber" lasted longer so he "won."

And here I thought trying to accessorize the penis was unique to my spawn.

Three boys here, no girls.

And I do wonder how they survive childhood, an anecdote from a few years ago:

Me: Hey, Conrad and Alex how did you get this big cut in your screen? Think that might be where the bats are getting in?

Conrad: Oh, yeah, we were sword fighting and my sword stuck through.

Me: The hole is way bigger than a sword and why didn't you tell me?

Conrad: Well, I forgot about it.

Me: Why is the hole so big?

Conrad: Well, I dropped my sword out the window onto the garage roof, so I had to make the hole bigger so Alex could climb out and get it.

Me: What?

Alex: Conrad is afraid to go on the roof, so I did it. But I didn't jump off, because I thought that might make you mad.

Me: TIM! COME AND TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!

I've also had to make a number of rules I thought I'd never, ever have to make, including, but not limited to:

You may only pick your own nose and please don't do that either.

Only one boy may use the toilet at one time.

No, you can't help your brother "aim" his pee pee.

Don't use your brother as a boat ramp.

We don't talk about anything in our pants to grandma or anywhere except at home.

Even if your finger fits into the dog's nose, please don't put it there, the dogs don't like it.

Quoting nuclear_sugar:

I have 3 boys of my own, and I wonder that daily....lol

I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

I'll take the years of telling my sons not to pee outside, don't put tape on the cats feet, don't use the clothes dryer to melt chocolate for s'mores, don't ride the staircase in the laundry basket, etc. over a puberty ridden teenage girl any day!