Burn Out or Chill Out?

i’ll admit, i’m writing this post not knowing exactly where i’m going with it. it’s an uncharacteristic moment. i like to spend time letting the ideas simmer in my mind, so that when i actually sit down to type, i’m just relaying what i’ve been thinking about for some time!

So forgive me, because i’m speaking somewhat off the cuff. Pam and i love beautiful things, and while this isn’t a “thing”, sometimes more beauty comes from the untouchable.

This weekend, i travelled with Lexi and her volleyball team to the Island. i’m going to be honest…it’s been a roller coaster the last couple of months… well, actually, i’ve been the roller coaster. Moments of joy at being able to do what i’m passionate about: being a wife to Scott and carving out more “date” time for us, being a mom and supporting our kids as they find their niche and develop their skills/talents, spending time growing our blog, being involved in organizations where we can give rather than receive. These have all brought me immense joy.

i’ve also felt incredibly overwhelmed at the chaos and lack of routine that has come along with all of this. To use one of my mom’s terms, i’ve looked to “hide under the feathers” some days because i didn’t know humanly how i would get everyone where they would need to be. And if everyone did indeed get to their destination, how could i choose which kid i would stay and support?

By going along with Lexi this weekend, i was once again missing Lincoln playing hockey. I was missing Melina dance at 2 special performances. Quite frankly, i felt guilt. i also felt that i was going when the tank was”empty”.

Image: Iris Palmer and her suitcases” by Tim Walker Photography

And then the craziest thing happened. The tank was re-fueled. God took a weekend that i was anxious about and turned it into a good and beautiful thing. I was able to:

~take Pam’s advice and relish the break from the everyday household “stuff”..laundry, cooking…

~spend time visiting with a friend who encouraged me just by virtue of who she is.

~watch Lexi and her teammates play volleyball without distraction…nowhere pressing to get to, no reason to be staring at my watch. WOW!!!

~be surrounded by a group of people that laughed….alot. Me included.

~eat some good food. Why does every good thing in my life have a connection to food???

~have 3 full days watching my daughter sport a perma-grin.

6 awesome gifts. It was good.

Most special was the last gift…you know, the time one. While i don’t want to toot my kid’s horn…because we all think our kids are pretty awesome,,,it was more a feeling of 1. How on earth am i old enough to have a teenager??? In my head, i’m still a spring chicken! 2.Incredible thanks that i could spend time with Lexi 3. Even more thanks that she wanted to spend time with me.

And know what? Scott, Melina and Lincoln survived…without me. More than that, they had a great weekend. And dare i say, they might be happier with the mom that walked in the door yesterday night, than with the one that left on Friday? Honestly, i already have struggled today with not getting fretful about the schedule ahead…old habits die hard… but i am really trying to take it one day at a time! Trying!

Can i throw out the challenge to you? To spend a weekend, a day, or an evening with your kids, one on one. Do it while they want to, and pray that by doing it now, they’ll never change that desire. Thanks for listening to me sisters! xo

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Thanks for sharing, Laurel. I was exactly where you are in life not too long ago and I totally understand your heart. Looking back I’m so grateful that God reminded me often not to sweat the small stuff (like laundry and making meals and having the house clean) and to just enjoy the moment with the kids and hubby. It all goes by WAY TOO FAST and at the end of the day if what we have is good relationships with those we love, then I think we have run the race well. Lots of things I’d go back and change but so very thankful for how God gives us what we need in the moment. So enjoy…laugh lots and laugh often…take moments to chat in the car as you drive to the next event…stay connected to hubby on the phone to find out the score of the game where he is at…take time for date nights or lunches or breakfasts…encourage and hug those kids often as they explore life. Relax, enjoy these years and remember to thank God for the gift of family!!

Wow…i just appreciate your words so much, Val! Everything you wrote resonates with me! Thank you thank you! I agree in the end it’s relationships that matter, so thank you for re-iterating that. So true. Much thanks..

FlaireBear

Well, this one brought me to tears! I am truly blessed each and everyday to be able to spend time with my children…and more importantly they want to spend time with me! Although we missed you and Lexi this weekend at dance, we got to spend time with Neaner, and what a great joy that was!

Flaire Bear!! you are a constant encourager in my life. Thx for the love you shower on my kids…they (and i) love you right back!!! xo

Lori

Well said Laurel. We all have felt that way at some point or another.. Now I have 2 driving themselves and don’t need me as much. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome, but there are times when it makes me sad. Makes me cherish the time I have while they are still living in our house.