Okay, how can they show one of the BEST EPISODES EVER and there be no thread yet? An episode with none other than SCOTT HALL?!?

I said the last two weeks how I couldn't wait to see the Monarch vs. JJ and they delivered in spades. "Assemble Ventronic!" ("What the f*** is THAT?!?") with the Captain being blown into his chair while swinging the sword had me laughing for several minutes solid. "My lightning cannon sucks!"

I love how they have broken down the walls with the characters the last few weeks. This week was 21 and 24's turn with their perfect mix of expendable and indestructible.

Truly the Monarch is an evil genius. Rusty will be HIS. I am THERE for the end of this season.

"Give me another hit of tranquilizer!"

"As you may have read in Robert Parker's Wine Newsletter, 'Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of Satan, after a hefty portion of asparagus.'" Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Y'know, I really am such a fan of the Monarch when he's in full-on arch-mode. In some odd way, I get what Dr Girlfriend sees in him!

"Not quite sure what the flying pine cone is all about. But I'll give Mr Evergreen a run for his money!" Oh, JJ. "I'm trying to arch here!"

"I know it sounds crazy, but they both have that rare blend of expendable & invulnerable that makes for a perfect henchman." Poor #1 -- he never had a chance. But nice callback to Speedy!!

"I'm Scott Hall. My name is Scott Hall." "Nope, it won't help. That was just pathos." *

"Belay that order." "Sweetie, what are you doing?" (Aren't married people cute?) "Do you trust me?" Ooooooh! I hate it when they say that!!

The OSI agents ... perfect. "Only if we were philatelists." " Which we're not." Are these really the same ilk as Hunter & Brock? I think not. (Foreshadowing?) "You could steal his cattle too. ... These guys like their system. It's what they do. You take that away & you are looking at a bunch of pissed off nutbags with ray-guns & giant ... I dunno, a giant octopus-slash-tank with laser-eyes." "I've seen one of those. " "I like the cut of this guy's jib." "I like the cut of his hair." Perhaps I've watched too many episodes of The Untouchables, Dragnet, **&** Johnny Quest -- this is great!! :-)

"Vengeance is miiine! Now which one of you idiots broke my wife?" And the thud of me hitting the floor.

Brock sooooo wanted to be the one to fire the death ray. Rusty would have totally let Brock do it. But nooooo, JJ has to be The Guy.

"Easy-peasy"??? Who says that other than Jamie Oliver?

"I have the dart monkey on my back. .. It's like gettin' sucked off by an angel." Between his first, second & third hits, we learn a lot about the captain! Uhh, little bit of mommy issues there? (To counter the various Ventures' daddy issues?)

Brock's bolo-counter to (poor) Number 1. Along with The & Mrs Monarch calling "Nooow!" in unison. And the direct hit -- not -- to the cocoon.

(Oh, & BTW, had I known all you other slackers wouldn't even have bothered to turn in last week's writing assignment, I would have just waltzed in for the curve-mangling A ... :-> )* Now. let's consider this "Scott Hall" issue for just a moment. There is already a "Hunter" in the cast. ("Hunter Gathers", Brock's mentor.) And a "Kevin". (Of Kevin & Tim-Tom.) I think we're just waitin' for the inevitable XPac / Sean Waltman reference. Or else Chyna. Whichever comes first ...

An epic episode of epicness, definitely one of the best of the season -- and not coincidentally one of the most subtle and clever character successes we've seen. I know the show is about failure in general, but the nice thing is that means whenever someone SUCCEEDS in their aims, it's unique and special.

Case in point: Monarch deliberately rigging his battle with JJ to give him an escape clause that lets him attack Rusty. SCORE! It's funny, but the one character who's had the most success overall in this series is the Monarch. Consider:

* He broke into the compound during the tag sale and had his way with the place. Granted, he got depressed and lost interest, but he did it.

* He repaired his rocky relationship and actually got married, and in the process earned his spot in the Guild. Arguably that's just so they can keep a closer eye on him through his wife, but he still managed it.

* He stole a microexplosive and planted it on Rusty in such a way as to frame his old enemy Hatred for breaking a Guild rule against killing your archenemy. If not for the water, it would've worked.

* He broke into the compound AGAIN entirely on a whim and.. raped a security robot, AND tricked Dean into covering for him.

* Finally, in this episode, he uses his own reputation for failure and clever use of his henchmen to worm his successfully trick JJ and worm his way back into Rusty's life.

Obviously I'm a bit of a fanboy, but whenever anybody in this series makes any headway in their miserable lives of disaster and disappointment, it's kind of a high five. And I think that's by design; throwing us a bone now and then is tastier than having steak every day.

This episode was everything I could have hoped for. I loved Number 1 getting the red-shirt treatment. "No Scotty, don't you give up on me!" Although I kinda hoped he'd make it through, just so we could see him working with 21 and 24 some more. I also really liked when Monarch and JJ both did their witty reparte, and then as soon as the camera was off they were looking for a critique from their team. This was maybe the best episode of the season, and it's been a hell of a season.

I caught the Monday 8pm show with several nerds in the theatre wearing Optimus Prime helmets and having spirited discussions in the men's room afterwards of the Quintessons and Dinobots needing to appear in the sequel.