Places You May Have Seen Drake Throughout The Years

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Drake is the kind of guy who could never be in a championship locker room because he was stuck in a wheelchair during his teenage years. Okay, that may not actually be true in real life, but he’s from Canada, so it’s basically the same thing. Since no team from Canada has won a Stanley Cup since 1993–and nobody knows of any other championships in Canada–Drake has become the biggest bandwagon fan ever so that he can get into good teams’ locker rooms. What you may not know, however, is that you may have seen Drake in a few other places throughout the years.

Tune Squad

Before the game, Drake proudly sported his Monstars jersey in true bandwagon fashion. After the game, however, Bill Murray invited him to the Tune Squad’s locker room because he drunkenly thought Drake was the black guy from “Ghostbusters.” Drake showed up after the game to party with the greatest basketball team of all time. Drake was then ridiculed by Michael Jordan, because he referred to Lola as a “fine piece of ass,” because he didn’t realize that she was both a rabbit and a cartoon.

“The Mighty Ducks”

Who knew that Drake would be such good friends with a peewee hockey team? Must be a Canadian thing. After popping a few bottles of sparkling grape juice with the conquering heroes, Drake was forcefully removed from the locker room by parents who didn’t want their children hanging out with a creepy old guy from Canada.

“Mean Girls”

Drake got famous from being on a show about high school, so I’m sure he would fit right in with Regina George and friends. I mean, leave it to Drake to think he would fit in with four girls at a high school. He’s always been the rather dramatic type though, so he probably had plenty to contribute to the Burn Book. He stuck around until people finally realized that he, in fact, doesn’t even go here.

Applebee’s

There’s not much you can really say that is good about Applebee’s, but it’s Drake’s favorite restaurant. With how much money he has, it’s kind of surprising that Drake spends so much time hanging out with old ladies and picking from the two for $20 menu. However, he takes Applebee’s “eating good in the neighborhood” slogan to heart, thinking that Applebee’s is probably as close as he’ll ever get to the hood–it probably makes him feel like he has more street cred.

“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”

Drake Kardashian. That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? The answer to that question is an emphatic hell no. I don’t think I could stand hearing all the nonsense about another rapper marrying a Kardashian. But after spending a season trying to marry whichever one of them isn’t married to Kanye, Drake got kicked off of the show because he told her that she was not “the best I ever had.”

Where’s Waldo?

Leave it to Drake to try to steal the thunder of a beloved childhood character who is hard as hell to find. Now, countless children are going to wonder why there’s one random, goofy looking guy whose head is in the middle of the page while they look for our red and white-shirted friend.

Drake Concert

As someone who’s the biggest bandwagon fan in the world, Drake would obviously try to be in the crowd at one of his own concerts, hyping himself up. Why wouldn’t he want to draw more attention to himself by screaming at himself as a fan? That’s some “Inception”-level shit right there.

Durant, nobody is quite sure how you ever became a regularly featured writer here on TFM; but we do know that your 3 pages of published posts hasn’t even gotten you over ‘Rushee’ status. After months of hating on literally everything you’ve ever published, you finally did it: the epitome of awfulness. This most likely is the worst column ever published on this site. Dorn, as Director of Content, I blame you for letting this boner publish garbage like this. Durant, you suck.