Life is full of little amazing events that we go through and rarely take notice of or appreciate. This is an attempt to take snapshots of our ordinary existence as we navigate the miraculous maze of Life; Trying to keep hope alive through our journey to parenthood; Like it or not Infertility is a guest in our house until further notice; and sharing a little of my love of photography and cooking.

Friday, January 18, 2013

"So runs the round of life from hour to hour"

More than once i wake up thinking i just can't do this anymore, yet here i am, day after day, i still get out of bed, put my clothes on, walk out the door and go about my day. When we first started trying to conceive i thought things couldn't be that bad, true we were aware of some issues but i thought with the quantity of "practice" we were and still are doing it couldn't take much longer. But it did, and we still wait.

When we talked about going to a specialist i thought that was it, an infertility diagnosis was not something i imagined to live through but I'm still here; we're still here. Giving myself shots was definitely something i though i would never do and if i did, i for sure thought i would not survive. I'm still here. Failed IVF was the cherry on top. I'm still here. I did not vanish, i wasn't obliterated, the ground did not crack open and swallow me even though i wish it had more often than I'd like to admit.

Despite still not being able to get pregnant i wake up every day and face the day. We've been trying for what seems to be a century. We have talks, we have meltdowns, we have our ON days and our OFF days.

We're still here. Resilience is a blessing.

If there's one thing positive i can think of right now about this whole despise-able ordeal is that I'm grateful we are somehow learning how to be resilient; at least we won't t come out of this empty handed.

Circumstance

by Alfred Lord Tennyson

Two children in two neighbour villages
Playing mad pranks along the healthy leas;
Two strangers meeting at a festival;
Two lovers whispering by an orchard wall;
Two lives bound fast in one with golden ease;
Two graves grass-green beside a gray church-tower,
Wash'd with still rains and daisy-blossomed;
Two children in one hamlet born and bred;
So runs the round of life from hour to hour.