Today, my significant other wanted to cook dinner in a crockpot. While he is an expert with this cooking device, I have never used a crockpot. But I am an expert at minimizing messes. So, the crockpot needed a liner. At least, that’s what my friends told me. So, I went to the store in search of crockpot liners.
Initially, I thought Lady Luck was on my side. I got the first parking spot, next to the handicapped spot. Bonus! This was going to be a quick in-and-out shopping experience. A piece of cake.
As I entered the store, there was an enormous display of crockpots of all makes and sizes. I thought it was weirdly coincidental. But alas, the display lacked liners. But that was okay. I figured they would be in the paper products aisle with the aluminum foil and oven bags. So, I made a beeline for the paper products aisle.
When I reached the spot where the liners should have been, the shelf was empty. Everything else on that shelf was fully stocked. An employee was behind me.
I said, “I’m looking for crockpot liners. Do you know if you have any more?”
She replied, “They took them and put them up front. Look in the baking display.”
I thanked her and headed for the baking display. There were no liners to be found.
Another employee asked, “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for crockpot liners.”
“Did you look in the paper products aisle?”
“Yes. The lady there told me they should be here.”
“They’re not.”Duh. “I know.”
“Let me see if there are any in back.”
My mind decided to start singing, The Impossible Dream.

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

After several minutes, I knew she wasn’t coming back.
In the meantime, I counted four endcaps that had crockpots on them. Four endcaps! What’s the deal on crockpots? Why was every make and model on sale? Was this God’s way of taunting me? Or was I on an episode of The Twilight Zone?
I trudged up toward the front of the store. I wasn’t ready to give up yet. They were pushing crockpots hard. Those liners had to be somewhere. And by God, I was going to find them!

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

I approached an older employee who was stocking the Christmas section. She looked as if she was a seasoned employee. No pun intended! And I wanted to slow down Christmas from coming to the store. I mean really! It’s November 2nd. Anyway …
“Excuse me, can you tell me where the crockpot liners are?”
“Did you look in the paper products aisle?”
”Yes. The lady there told me they were in the baking area. They weren’t.”
“Hold on. Let me check.”
She proceeded to use the radio clipped to her blue smock to ask if anyone knew the whereabouts of the crockpot liners.
The first response: “Check the paper aisle.”
I sighed heavily.
The second: “Check the baking display.”
I rolled my eyes.
Thirdly: “We’re out. We don’t have any.”
I threw up my hands in exasperation.
The radio chatter ceased.
She said, “Sorry. Guess we don’t have any.”
I thanked her and walked away. But I was not done yet.

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

I walked around and searched every single display in the front of the store. And dum-da-da-dum! Success! I found the stupid liners on a display between two registers.

And the world will be better for this
That one (wo)man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with her last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star!

Thrilled with my victory, I skipped back to the lady in the Christmas section. “I found the liners. They’re between two registers two aisles over.”
She smiled. “Glad you found them.”
The song, Celebration, by Kool & the Gang, came on the radio on the drive home. I cranked it up and sang along. Hey, I was happy after all of that.
I walked in the door and proudly handed him the box of liners. “You won’t believe what I had to go through to find these.”
Sheepishly, he said, “Um. I didn’t wait. I started already without one.”Oh, my God! Are you freaking kidding me?
Without uttering a word, I walked away. At that moment, only extremely colorful language would have come out of my mouth. And being the good Catholic girl that I am, and since today is All Souls Day, I thought it best to keep my mouth shut.

In the final novel in the series, Sara Taylor’s world is turned upside down again. While searching for clarity on a self-imposed sabbatical, Sara meets a handsome stranger, Phil Potter. He offers her a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for adventure. With nothing left to lose, Sara jumps at the chance.

Through patience and perseverance, Phil tears down the walls Sara has built up. And with his guidance, she has an epiphany about her true calling and how she will make a difference in the world.

Sara realizes she must tie up loose ends, particularly with former lover, Joe Lazaro, before moving on.

Joe Lazaro desperately clings to hope of repairing his relationship with Sara. He will do anything to regain her love and trust.

However, there is unexpected turmoil concerning the Lazaro family that puts all of their lives in jeopardy.

Will the course of events compel Sara to return to her former life? Or will she ultimately choose the newly inspired path to pursue and achieve her dreams?

I am excited to announce that Finally! An Unexpected Love Story is being released!

Finally! An Unexpected Love Story is the sequel to my hilarious misadventures in online dating book, Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.

It’s a “He Said/She Said” book about the funny, offbeat, and often challenging courtship between my co-author, L. E. Hewitt, and me, Suzanne Purewal. Our quirky and sarcastic senses of humor will have you laughing out loud.

The book chronicling the saga of my online dating misadventures, Mis-Matched to Miss Matched, is being released this Saturday, June 3rd!

Thank you for following my bizarre dating escapades for the past four years. I know the question that remains on your mind is, “Did I give up, or did my perseverance finally pay off?” Continue reading →

Today marks the end of an era. I cancelled my home phone service. I no longer have a landline. I know, I know, I’m late to the party. For some inexplicable reason, I didn’t want to let go of it after twenty-four years.

Some of you will also remember that I held on to my 35mm camera and Rochester’s precious Kodak film longer than anyone else too. Hey, despite the duct tape holding the battery thingy together, that camera took awesome pictures.

But what’s most upsetting is that all of the phone numbers I have memorized are no longer in service. I have an entire address book in my head that is obsolete. Names, addresses, and phone numbers, all useless, outdated information.

The numbers I call now are based on my cell phone being functional and dependable. If my cell phone dies, I’m screwed.

Wow! I just realized that I don’t even know my parents’ new phone numbers. I should probably try to commit those to memory. I have to wonder, if their pictures didn’t pop up on my phone, would I answer? Now, that’s a sad state of affairs!

Believe it or not, I still have a slimline phone and a rotary phone in my garage. They work when the power goes out and the hand-held portable phones don’t. I guess I can sell those at a garage sale in the future.

So why get rid of the landline now?

Because the only calls I receive these days are those stupid scam calls from heavily-accented people claiming the IRS is after me or from scammers wanting money for charities that don’t exist. One day this week, I received four of the IRS calls in a three-hour period.

Truth be told, I haven’t answered my home phone in ages. I always let it go to voicemail. But I was so fed up with the scammers, I unplugged my phone from the wall. That’s when I decided that I might as well get rid of it. It’s not as if AT&T was providing phone service for free.

I better go try to memorize my parents’ numbers. Maybe I’ll use the old rotary phone to practice. That’s how I memorized every other number I know.

Oh wait, there is one number I remember that might still be good. It’s 867-5309. And it belongs to some girl named Jenny.