Can Porn Really Kill Your Sex Life?

New research links porn to sexual dysfunction—but here’s what the experts say

Can porn kill your sex life? It might if you prefer it to real sex, according to preliminary new research presented at the American Urological Association’s recent annual meeting.

Researchers surveyed 312 men about how often they used porn and their preferred way to get off. They also assessed their erectile function, ability to orgasm, sexual desire, and how satisfied they were with sexual intercourse.

They found that men who said they’d rather masturbate to porn scored lower on tests of erectile function and sexual function than those who preferred sex with a partner.

So, do you really need to be concerned about porn? We reached out to a urologist and sex researcher to delve into it.

Is Porn Really Harmful?

Turns out, this study isn’t as clear-cut as reports from other media organizations make it seem. That’s because the researchers only found a link between porn and erectile function in guys who preferred masturbating to porn over having sex with an actual partner. And those guys made up only 3.4 percent of the sample—or about 11 guys total.

There was no link between porn and sexual function for the vast majority of guys who’d rather have real sex than masturbate to porn, the study authors concluded in their presentation abstract. (The researchers did not respond to our request for comment.)

Plus, this study hasn’t been peer-reviewed or formally published yet, says Nicole Prause, Ph.D., founder of Liberos, a sex research and biotechnology company in Los Angeles.

And there really is no distinction between whether actual porn is causing sexual dysfunction or if the physical act of masturbation is, she points out. (Check out these five masturbation secrets you don’t know about.)

“People aren’t eating popcorn when they watch porn—they’re masturbating. What that means is, whenever you have a behavior that always occurs with another behavior, you cannot separate the effects of the two,” she explains. “They have no reason to say that the effects they observed are due to porn. They could just as well be due to masturbation. They would have to study that specifically, either in an experiment or statistically remove the effects of masturbation.”

Prause points to the current peer reviewed research, which overwhelmingly concludes that porn can positively impact relationships and the individual consuming it. (In fact, three studies—here, here, and here—actually refute the concept that porn watchers are less likely to respond to real-world sex.) Other research has shown that watching porn can actually even increase your willingness to try new things in bed and make your sex life more exciting when you watch it with your partner. (Here’s what you should know about how porn specifically affects your sex life.)

“Of course, some people can watch too much for their life and it can conflict with their values,” she says. “Say, your partner views porn as cheating, and you view porn—it will cause a problem.”

There is no official diagnosis for “porn addiction,” says Tobias Kohler, M.D., professor of urology at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota who was not involved with the study. But he emphasizes that he has seen patients let it consume their lives, which certainly has the potential to harm your quality of life and relationships—and even your sexual function.

Case in point: When you watch porn excessively—and prefer reaching orgasm through masturbation rather than with a partner—you might get conditioned to a specific stimulus, says Dr. Kohler. So when you go to do the real thing, you might not be able to match that specific stimulation with your partner. (Are you masturbating wrong? Here’s how your favorite solo technique could sabotage your sex life.)

That can become stressful, cause sexual anxiety, and make it harder for you to orgasm, especially if porn starts to take over your life and alters your sexual expectations, which is something Dr. Kohler has seen occur in his patients.

Is Porn a Problem For You?

If you’re in a happy relationship and your partner doesn’t have issues with you watching porn, it doesn’t control your everyday life, and your sex life is going smoothly, it’s highly unlikely that porn will become a problem for you, says Dr. Kohler.

But if porn does start to control your life, your desire to masturbate becomes compulsive, your sex life starts to suffer, and most importantly, you’re truly bothered by it, that may be a signal to lay off the X-rated films, says Dr. Kohler. Talking to your urologist or even a sex therapist can help.

Bottom line: Watching porn is an incredibly personal behavior that affects everyone differently, and more research needs to be done to truly prove that X-rated flicks alone can cause problems for the average guy below the belt.

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