Archive for the tag - diane petrella

“I look so fat in this dress!” “It’s so hard to lose weight.” “I’m a hopeless case.”

Sound familiar?

While we all need to vent our feelings, staying stuck in negativity isn’t venting at all. Rather than releasing emotions, it stirs up your frustration and poisons your mind and body. Your weight-loss journey becomes harder than it needs to be when you weigh yourself down with pessimism and join in negative conversations with friends. But when you make the decision to end the complaining, your journey—and your body—become lighter.

See For Yourself

Every word you think and speak produces a physiological reaction in your body. Try this simple exercise and notice what happens:

Get yourself comfortable and take a few deep breaths to settle yourself. Now, with your eyes closed, repeat the following phrases silently to yourself while noticing the sensations in your body:

“I hate my body.” “I feel disgusting.” “I’m a loser.”

Now, bring your attention back to your breathing to clear those thoughts from your mind. Close your eyes again, and repeat the following while noticing the sensations in your body:

“I am gentle with myself.” “I am kind to my body.” “I am strong.”

Open your eyes. Most people notice some tension in their body when they say the first set of phrases and a relaxing sensation with the second. What about you?

A diet of toxic words and self-abusive insults harms your body and dampens your spirit. But when you make a conscious decision to feed yourself loving words, your spirit lightens and your body relaxes. You stop fighting with yourself and open the way for a peaceful—and more successful—weight loss journey.

Word Power

To release weight with less effort, be mindful of how you speak. Stop repeating unkind, disrespectful words to yourself and replace them with encouraging and kind words. I know… this may feel hard to do at first because you are so used to talking to yourself in a negative way. Changing any habit takes time. The important thing is to make the commitment to speak to yourself with compassion and then make it a practice that you develop. For example, if you catch yourself speaking disrespectfully to your body as you look in the mirror first thing in the morning or try on outfits for a special occasion, apologize to it by saying:

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me for speaking to you that way.”

An apology to your body reminds you of your commitment to speak to yourself with kindness. Then, give your body a supportive message such as, “I intend to take good care of you” or, if this feels natural, “I love you” or “I want to love you.” You can also gently say the following words as a kind of mantra to infuse your body with calming energy: peace, love, ease, relax. Think of these phrases and words as anchors to help you stop, shift your focus and regain your confidence and strength.

Exit the Pity-Party

I know… we can all fall into complaining sessions with friends. And to a point, venting helps. But beyond the initial bonding through shared experiences or just needing a friendly ear to release frustration, complaining with others serves no useful purpose. If anything, these conversations weaken you. They taunt you to the cookie jar by justifying the limiting belief that, “Everyone agrees with me that it’s hard to lose weight, so what’s the point?”

But remember this: YOU are the point. Your health, your future, your dreams.

And when you join in toxic complaint sessions with friends and co-workers about how hard is to lose weight, how difficult it is to avoid sweets, or how impossible it is to find the time to exercise, you lose the point of you and your health. Reclaim your power and commit to no longer participate in negative conversations, in your head and with others. When you find yourself with people eager to jump on the complaint bandwagon, practice this: Say nothing, change the subject or, when possible, leave.

As you release the habit of complaining and speak supportive, encouraging words, you lighten your mind and heart. And when your mind and heart feel lighter, your weight loss journey becomes more peaceful… helping your body become lighter as well.

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P.S. If weight loss is one of your goals, download The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program, co-written by Diane Petrella. By building a stronger relationship with your body and through proper nutrition and a strategic exercise program, you’ll create lasting and sustainable weight loss with ease.

You probably know how challenging summer can be when you’re worried about extra weight. Nothing like shorts and tank tops to trigger body insecurity, right? There is a solution and a way to embrace summer with confidence and joy. No, it’s not about changing your summer wardrobe into long-sleeve shirts and sweatpants. It’s about changing your mindset.

Here are my top 5 steps to getting body-confident, even in the hot weather:

1. Don’t Criticize… Apologize

Yes, you heard me… apologize. When you’re stuck in self-criticism about your heavy thighs or waist, you don’t need to deny how you feel. But you need to know how to stop. One way is to apologize to your body for speaking badly about it. As in any relationship, a heartfelt apology clears the air and helps you refocus. And the relationship you have with your body is as real as a relationship with a person. Use an apology to turn things around whenever you catch yourself in destructive thinking. Simply say to your body, “I’m sorry for talking about you this way.” Then do the best you can to end the negative self-talk and move on. Repeat as necessary.

2. Wear Clothes You Love

You deserve the best. So stop wearing clothes that feel uncomfortable or that you don’t like but only wear because they hide your body. (Plus, it can dampen your spirit to put on a dark, baggy sweater on a beautiful day, don’t you think?) Splurge a little on something you really love. It’s better to buy a few quality items you adore than 10 things that are “just okay” and happen to be on sale. And disregard what anyone says about what you “should” wear, especially to the beach or pool. Don’t force yourself to wear a bathing suit if you really don’t want to. If you feel more at ease in a t-shirt and shorts, go for it. Your comfort level—in clothes that make you feel good, too—is all that matters.

3. Compliment Others Generously

One of the best ways to shift attention away from your own body insecurity is to flatter someone else. If you like the blouse of the woman next to you at the check-out counter, tell her how pretty it is. If the cashier at the diner looks fabulous in her sundress, let her know. The more generously you give compliments instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself, the more love you give to the world… and the more that love comes back to you. Putting a smile on someone’s face keeps things in perspective because as you brighten their day, you brighten your own.

4. Pamper Yourself

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the most important thing to do. While it’s never the wrong time to treat your body with love and respect, those moments when you feel especially insecure about your body are exactly when it needs your extra love and attention. Real body-confidence transformation can happen with just a small act of self-care. Maybe a gentle yoga class helps you feel more present in your body. Some love a leisurely hot tub soak or foot bath—while for others, booking a spa appointment for a facial or massage is in order. Even something as simple as a bright new lipstick, cute hair clip or hat can put a spring back in your step and raise that body confidence a few degrees.

5. Create your Self-Love List

I learned about the extraordinary educator, Marva Collins, in a positive psychology workshop. Marva founded a school in Chicago for disadvantaged students. These high-risk children excelled beyond anyone’s expectations and Marva received national recognition for her work.

So, what does this have to do with weight loss?

It’s simple. Marva understood the power of love. When her students misbehaved, Marva did not harshly discipline them. Instead, she instructed them to write a list of their positive qualities, from A to Z.

As they wrote “I am adorable, I am beautiful, I am courageous,…” Marva’s students flourished from her love-inspired approach.

Take a page from Marva’s notebook and create your own self-love list. Use her approach to improve your body confidence and overall self-worth. Write down all your wonderful qualities, from A to Z. (Yes, I know, there are some tough letters. Use a dictionary.) Start each sentence with “I am…”

Here are a few of mine:

“I am accepting of myself.” “I am big-hearted.” ”I am confident.”

This isn’t just a “nice” exercise. This works because you train your mind and brain to scan for the positive. Do this regularly, and especially when feeling self-critical, to move beyond body insecurities and focus on what matters most.

If you dread summer activities and the more revealing clothes of hot weather, I invite you to try one or all of these steps and see if your mindset shifts. Experience what it’s like to allow your self-love and acceptance to rise… along with the temperature.

Your relationship with your body is one of the most important relationships that you’ll ever have. And I’m going to share the number-one thing you can do to honor that relationship and create permanent, lasting results.

Forgive yourself.

Yes… this might sound simple, but if you’re like so many on a weight-loss journey, you can be relentless when it comes to self-criticism and contempt for yourself and your body. When you let go of the guilt and shame about how you look or how you’ve treated your body, you enter a world of love and positivity that helps you create the healthy body you want and deserve.

A self-forgiving state of mind helps you more easily release negative judgments of yourself. You’re then less likely to act on those feelings by hurting yourself and your body. You’ll naturally want to take better care of your body. You see, when you learn to love yourself unconditionally and forgive yourself more readily, you’re likely to eat healthier foods, give your body the movement it needs, and talk to yourself with greater compassion.

On the other hand, when your body is filled with the poisonous energies of self-contempt (and I know you have experienced times like this), you’re more likely to turn to food for comfort or self-punishment. The negative feelings can quickly lead to a very old and familiar sense of being out of control or a victim.

As you begin to develop the habit of self-forgiveness you will notice significant changes in your physical health and in your ability to no longer rely on food for comfort. And when you feel that love for yourself and your body, you might, for example, be less likely to skip Zumba class in order to head right home after work and watch TV.

So, how do you forgive yourself?

It takes patience and persistence. Here are three heart-based exercises to help you open to the healing power of self-forgiveness, love yourself more and bring peace to your mind.

1. Be Willing to Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness starts with a willingness to release guilt, shame and self-hatred. Open the space for this healing energy to enter your mind and body by setting the intention to do so.

This may seem like a very simple process. It is. Don’t equate simple with ineffective. A sincere and deliberate intention to stop berating yourself, and to forgive yourself when you do, helps you take charge of your life, feel less like a victim, and stop the cycle of emotional eating.

2. Wrap Negative Thoughts in Love

We all fall into old patterns. So the next time you slip back into less than healthy eating or exercise habits and berate yourself with unkind words, turn to your heart for comfort.

For example, instead of dwelling on those negative thoughts and feelings, remind yourself you can stop. Take a deep breath. Then, focus your attention on your heart and at the same time think of a beautiful memory or someone you love. I learned this exercise from the Institute of HeartMath and it helps you feel calm very quickly. Then, say this affirmation to yourself or out loud while keeping your attention on your heart:

“I release these thoughts and feelings (or shame and guilt, etc.) into the arms of Love and I open to loving and forgiving myself.”

Directing your attention to your heart infuses your words with calming, heart-based energy. It is as if you are wrapping your self-contempt in a blanket of love.

“I totally and completely love and accept myself with all my problems and all my limitations.”

Feel into this process. Repeat several times daily.

This exercise helps you connect with the loving energy of your heart. Your heart doesn’t judge you for overeating or for talking harshly to yourself. It simply keeps beating on. Feel that beautiful, consistent heartbeat and know that you are loved by the pure energy within it.

Practice the above steps faithfully and you’ll begin to create a lightness of spirit within you.

Be patient and have faith. Over time you’ll notice that the love you give to yourself on the inside will be reflected in the ways you care for yourself and look and feel on the outside.

If you’re like most people struggling with their weight, you probably don’t like your body so much. You hate looking in the mirror. Getting dressed makes you frustrated and angry. And your thoughts toward your body are anything but loving.

You know how lousy those thoughts make you feel, but do you realize that criticizing yourself actually undermines your weight loss efforts, too?

Try replacing even a bit of that self-criticism with an attitude of gratitude and start losing the weight with ease.

Here’s How It Works:

In order to release weight your body needs to be calm and peace-filled. And your body is a living, breathing organism whose every cell responds to your thoughts. Based on how you think and feel, your body releases various chemicals. Some of these chemicals enhance a sense of calm and peacefulness while others heighten states of tension and anger. (Plus we all know how quickly those particular emotions can derail a healthy eating plan.)

Think of each cell as a tiny representation of your entire body. A lack of gratitude blocks weight loss progress because your body does not respond well when criticized. When you feel thankful, your cells feel that joy and transmit chemicals to reinforce that feeling. Think about that warm feeling you get when you receive a thank you card… Or when someone takes the time to appreciate something you did for them. Your cells understand the message of gratitude, too.

You may think that before you can appreciate your body you need to be fit and healthy first. You may think that thin people love their bodies because they are thin.

It’s actually the other way around. People who release weight successfully and permanently learned to love and appreciate their bodies first and it’s that appreciation that helps them to stay fit and healthy.

It sounds challenging—especially if you have years of self-criticism (and extra weight) under your belt. Think of it this way: What if you did something positive for someone and at the same time angrily told them, “I hate you and I hate doing this for you?”

Most likely they’d feel pretty confused and awful. Whatever kindness you did for them would have no meaning. Well, it’s the same with your body. The more you try to eat well, exercise and “do the right things” while telling your body how much you hate it, loathe it, and can’t stand to look at it, the more confused your body becomes.

What’s a body to do with that message? Most likely it responds like a confused, angry child and resists giving you what you want. So you remain stuck and frustrated that your body isn’t releasing the weight you want to release. But, honestly, can you blame it?

Got Gratitude? Great—Now Go Deeper

To stop that cycle, be grateful for all your body does for you. Then go a step further and say “Thank you” to your body. Thank your legs for taking you where you want to go, your arms for helping you hold things, your heart for beating, your lungs for breathing, your stomach for digesting your food. Consciously thanking and appreciating your body helps you feel calm and peaceful. And calm and peaceful bodies release weight more readily than bodies that are criticized and loathed.

Practice this simple exercise to become a grateful friend to your body:

Every day take a few moments and thank your body for all it does for you. Thank your legs, your arms, your heart, your stomach, etc.

You can either speak silently to yourself, out loud, or write it down on paper. Do what feels most comfortable.

While you can do this any time, it’s a powerful way to begin and end your day when practiced right before getting out of bed in the morning or right before falling asleep at night.

As the holiday season approaches, we’re reminded to give thanks for the blessings in our life. And one special, but often taken for granted, blessing is the very body we have been given to carry us through our life journey. Take time this month, and always, to give thanks to your body, your beautiful partner in life, for all it does for you.

Do you ever get discouraged about your weight loss progress? Do you worry your efforts aren’t good enough? If you lose sight of the steps you’re actually taking, this simple and powerful tool can help bolster your confidence. Keep track of your progress with a success journal so you remain committed and positive when self-doubt gets in the way.

What is a Success Journal?

A success journal is a daily recording of all the steps you’ve taken to treat yourself with love and respect. Permanent weight loss isn’t just about the food you eat. It’s about how you treat yourself on all levels. Recording these positive steps helps you stay connected with your overall progress. You simply take a moment to reflect as you answer this question:

“What did I do today to take good care of my mind, body and spirit?

For example:

“I took the stairs instead of the elevator at work. I’m happy I did that.”“I ate way too many cookies after lunch but I didn’t beat myself up. I let it go.”“I took “me” time and read passages from an inspirational book. It relaxed me.”

Every positive step you take brings you closer to reaching your goal weight. Recording even seemingly small steps, like parking away from the store entrance so you walk farther, helps you appreciate all your efforts and validates your progress. Ultimately, those small steps become new habits and create permanent lifestyle change.

A Success Journal Improves your Mindset

Positive psychology research emphasizes the value of acknowledging steps you take toward reaching a goal. When you routinely make a point of noticing, and appreciating, the positive changes you’re making, you begin to re-program your mind. Your attention shifts away from looking only at what’s “not working” to more easily notice what’s going well.

You see what you look for. If you doubt you’ll reach your weight loss goal, you’ll find evidence that you’re not making progress. You may undervalue the positive steps you’re actually making. Recording daily successes helps you notice those steps.

Keeping a success journal isn’t just a “feel good” exercise, although it will help you feel good. It works because you train your mind and brain to scan your experiences and find the healthy choices you’re making. Your memory becomes imprinted with images of taking good care of yourself. This gives you strength.

Here are three ways using a success journal can support your weight loss journey:

1. Build Confidence

When you record your successes, you honor their importance and you honor you. It’s great to hear positive feedback from others, but the greatest confidence builder is being your own best cheerleader. Keeping a success journal helps you do that.

2. Feel Inspired

Recording your successes keeps you emotionally connected to them. As you write each entry in your success journal, take a moment to praise yourself. This is important because the good feelings you have about your actions inspire you to keep moving forward.

3. Stay on Track

If you feel discouraged, a success journal can lift your spirits. For instance, reading past entries reminds you of all your successes and what you’re capable of. This helps you renew your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. Or, simply writing an affirmation such as, “I am patient and gentle with myself as I release weight with confidence and love” may be all you need to soothe your spirit and get back on track after a difficult day.

Begin Today

Buy a beautiful notebook. Set aside a few moments each day to record at least three positive steps you took to nourish your mind, body and spirit. If this feels daunting, remember this includes even those small but important things you tend to overlook. Did you walk past the candy bowl at the office? Did you take a walk after work? Write it down. You can write in your success journal any time of day, but doing it right before bedtime helps you go to sleep in a positive frame of mind.

Do cakes, ice cream, or chips hold power over you? Once you start eating them, is it hard to stop? Do attempts to enjoy just a single bite result in guilt-ridden overeating episodes?

It may be time to say good-bye to this love-hate relationship.

Get Very Honest with Yourself

When you enjoy the foods you want in moderation, you don’t need to set limits because you do so automatically. If you feel guilty even when you eat balanced amounts of certain foods, it’s possible to release self-judgment and enjoy what you want. But if you find you can’t eat certain foods in moderation no matter what you do, then maybe it’s time to try a different approach and just say, “No.”

“But I deserve to eat what I want!”

Of course you do. But when you emotionally struggle with a certain food, it’s not about the food at all. Deep inside there’s a part of you that doesn’t yet feel deserving to give to yourself in a healthy way. It’s not the food you deserve; what you deserve is your own love.

“But I don’t want to deny myself!”

Well…why not? When you deny yourself something that hurts you, you ultimately give yourself inner peace and good health. Don’t give food that power over you, when the power you need to find is within you.

Some say the more we can’t have something, the more we want it. But that’s only true if you believe that to be true. You can choose to believe that not having what hurts you, frees you.

If you attempt to mindfully eat a trigger food before you’ve learned to fill yourself up with your own strength, you may be setting yourself up to fail. But try it. If it works for you, go forward in moderation. If it doesn’t and you cannot stop overeating that particular food, remember that it’s not your fault and it has nothing to do with will power. You’re trying to tame something that has power over you and that’s not easy.

But it is possible.

Set Clear Food Boundaries

Compulsive behaviors sometimes need black and white parameters until you develop the inner resources and fortitude to manage the gray. For example, to admit you’re powerless over a certain food, as an alcoholic is powerless over liquor, or a compulsive shopper is powerless over a credit card, is to embrace your own power. To feel grounded, the alcoholic stays away from bars, the compulsive shopper cuts up their credit cards, and the person who cannot limit chocolate cake, stays away from it. Setting a super-clear boundary provides a helpful structure. When you stop grappling with a force larger than yourself, you discover your own strength.

Eventually, the alcoholic can safely enter a bar without drinking, the compulsive shopper can hit the mall without overspending, and you can enjoy a piece of cake without over-eating.

This is because when you keep trigger foods out of your home, stop ordering them at restaurants and avoid them at parties, you release the grip they hold on you. Your struggle ends when you stop trying to manage these foods and take charge by deciding, “Enough.”

Be aware that you may experience resistance at first. But it likely isn’t about the food. Chances are you’re resisting experiencing feelings the food helped you avoid. When this happens, find ways to soothe yourself–writing in a journal, talking with a friend, or listening to calming music.

If you’re ready to release the grip trigger foods hold over you, reflect on this affirmation:

“I love myself and my body too much to give my power over to that food.”

What matters most is your emotional and physical health. When you mindfully choose yourself over food, you let go of the struggle and rest peacefully in your own strength.

Over the past few months you’ve probably seen articles urging you to scramble and get “beach body ready” for summer. While this may appeal to the desire to comfortably wear bathing suits, shorts, and sleeveless clothes, it misses the mark.

Fitness is for all season long, not just for summer. Wearing fewer clothes in hot weather can feel intimidating enough to those who already lack confidence with their bodies.

I have an alternative.

Instead of fretting about having the perfect “beach body”, how about making friends with your body all year long? Here are five promises to make to your body this summer… and to keep forever:

1. I promise to speak to you kindly. (No self-criticism.)

Negative thoughts create stress in your body. Loving thoughts heal. When you catch yourself saying you look “awful” or you “hate” your body, simply notice without judgment, and say to that thought, “OK, here you are again.” Take a deep breath. Exhale that negative energy. Then say to your body, “I’m sorry for talking to you this way”. Forgive yourself and move on. Stay determined. Changing habits of thought take time. By creating a space of love and forgiveness, the cycle of negativity eventually stops.

2. I promise to accept you the way you are and hold you with pride. (Head held high; shoulders back.)

Accepting your body doesn’t mean you settle for being at a weight you’re uncomfortable with. It means you support your body and pledge to take good care of it. One way to show your support is to hold good posture and carry your body with self-respect. If you feel insecure about your body, this may feel unnatural at first. That’s OK. Practice anyway because research shows that when you straighten your posture, you also improve your mood. Add a smile to your face and the feel good hormones in your body come alive. Your body does a lot for you. Acknowledge its gifts by carrying it with dignity and respect.

3. I promise to nourish my body with healthy food and movement. (And not so healthy food in moderation.)

You already know the importance of healthy nutrition and exercise, right? But sometimes your fear mind may try to sabotage you by ruminating on foods you’re “not supposed to eat.” And while you know you “should” exercise, you may struggle to follow though. Here’s a tip to help transform healthy behaviors into a daily habit. After doing something that typically feels challenging, say to yourself, “That was easy.” For example, say this after eating a wholesome meal and enjoying dessert in moderation or after taking a morning walk before work. Saying “that was easy” helps encourage new habits because your brain links to “easy”, creating a positive association to something that previously felt difficult.

4. I promise to attend to our soul. (Activities that calm my mind and bring joy to my heart.)

It’s vital to your health and well-being that you nurture yourself with soul enriching activities that relax your body, rest your mind, and fill your heart with joy. This peaceful state activates healing energies in your body to relieve stress and helps liberate you from relying on food for emotional comfort. Commit to daily “me” time to do those things that bring you inner peace. For example, read an inspiring book, work a craft project, meditate, pray, walk in nature, write in a journal, etc. Discover what makes your heart sing and your whole body will respond with loving appreciation.

5. I promise to go within and ask you what you need.(Together we’re a blessed team.)

While it’s important to educate yourself from sources that you trust, only you and your body know what’s best for you. Learn to listen to your intuition and body wisdom so you can access this powerful guidance. Every morning take a few moments to be silent and go within. Ask your body, “What do you need from me today so you will feel loved and well-cared for?” Then, honor what you hear and let the whispers of your body light your way.

As you disregard the “beach body” mentality, you’ll discover what matters most about this beautiful partnership with your body. And to help you keep your five promises, be sure to make this important promise to yourself:

“I promise to forgive myself for the times I stumble. I’m human and I’m doing the best I can.”

If you’ve struggled with your weight for a very long time, the solution probably lies not in finding the right diet or exercise. Been there, done that, right? Unless medical concerns affect your weight, chances are you’re using food to quell your feelings. If you can relate to this, have faith. Nourish your mind and body with a diet of forgiveness and release your pain along with the pounds.

Free Yourself

While seemingly unrelated on the surface, a lack of forgiveness for self and others is sometimes related to emotional eating and to achieving permanent weight loss. Here’s why:

When you’re struggling with energy draining emotions of guilt, shame, anger and resentment, it’s important to acknowledge these feelings and find ways to safely experience and release them. The problem comes from never letting them go and using food to cope. When they build up for a long time, they stay stored in your body. As you carry the weight of heavy feelings in your heart, you carry the weight of excess pounds on your body.

Forgiveness calms your emotions, releases anger from your mind and body, and transforms resentment into acceptance. You literally lighten your mind and body with a calming energy that sets you free. For example, when you forgive yourself for overeating, overeating claims less power over you. This helps you stop the cycle because self-forgiveness eliminates guilt and shame that perpetuate emotional eating. When you forgive others, you emotionally free yourself from them and their behavior. You no longer feel triggered because you stop ruminating about what hurt you.

Meet Charlene

Charlene struggled with emotional eating for many years. It intensified during her difficult divorce and she gained weight in the process. Filled with anger and resentment, contact with her ex-husband often prompted an impulsive urge to overeat. She felt guilty after binging and blamed him for her behavior, often saying, “He makes me so mad I can’t help myself!”

Charlene initially recoiled at my suggestion to forgive her ex-husband. While she knew there was a connection between reacting to her ex-husband and overeating, she wanted tools to stop her behavior. While coping strategies helped, they only addressed what was happening on the surface. Opening her heart to forgiveness helped Charlene on a deeper level and offered a lasting solution.

While Charlene still feels triggered at times, food no longer holds the power it once did. “I didn’t speak with my ex-husband directly, but after I forgave him in my heart, I felt free. I then realized I needed to forgive others from my past. When I was a child, food was the only way I knew how to deal with anger and sadness. Now that I see the freedom in forgiveness, I want to be a more forgiving person and stop hurting myself with food. Living a healthy lifestyle is easier now. And I’m finally losing weight in the process.”

How to Forgive

Forgiveness doesn’t always come easily, especially in a society often intent on revenge. It may feel hard at first and it takes time, but you can become a more forgiving person simply by being willing to be so. It takes commitment and persistence. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you excuse others’ bad behavior or that you stop taking responsibility for your own. Forgiveness is about your state of mind and heart. It’s a gift to others, but mostly, it’s the gift of inner peace to yourself.

Here’s a simple release and forgiveness affirmation to help with emotional eating.

When you’re upset with someone and you feel the urge to eat, pause for a few moments, breathe and say to yourself or write down, “I release these feelings (or, this anger, resentment, etc.) and choose to no longer hold onto this pain. I release this for my highest good as I forgive _____(specific person) or, all involved in this situation, and allow the healing power of forgiveness to soothe my heart.” Even if it doesn’t seem to make a difference right away, you’re creating space between the urge to eat and eating. Adding forgiveness to this space helps liberate you to make a different choice.

When you criticize and rebel against your body, you remain stuck. Losing weight feels draining and frustrating. When you accept your body the way it is, you paradoxically free yourself to release weight more easily.

Honor Your Body

Acceptance means honoring your body just the way it is right now, with no judgment. This concept may seem confusing at first. You may believe that accepting your body and current weight means you don’t want to be thinner. Perhaps you reject this idea and think, “I don’t want to accept my body – that‘s why I want to lose weight!” But it’s just the opposite. Accepting your body as it is today helps you become thinner in a more loving and easier way.

End the Battle

Remember this: What you resist persists. When you berate yourself for being overweight or feel embarrassed about your dress size, you battle with yourself. This stops you from making progress. Your thoughts and attention remain negatively focused on where you are, rather than eagerly anticipating where you want to go. Think of this car analogy. Losing weight while continuing to be upset with your body is like keeping your foot on both the gas and brake pedal. You’re not going anywhere. Release the brake and your attachment to self-punishing thinking and you move freely to your destination.

Whatever you focus your attention on grows. So when you condemn yourself and your body, your condemnation grows. This poisonous mind-set often results in self-sabotaging behaviors. For example, disappointment for not yet being a dress size smaller potentially leads to emotional eating. When you accept your body no matter what, you still may feel disappointment but with acceptance you quickly regain momentum.

Keep a Positive Mind-Set

What you weigh now is irrelevant. It carries no power over you unless you give it negative attention. Action follows thought. If you feel discouraged about being overweight, chances are your actions reflect thoughts of defeat rather than thoughts of success. When you steadfastly keep your attention on becoming thinner and accept your body the way it is, your thoughts remain positive. You keep moving forward.

Take Charge

Even if you understand the importance of acceptance, you may wonder, “But how do I get there?” It begins with making a conscious decision to take charge of your self-talk. Catch yourself when you’re critical of your body. Tell yourself to stop speaking that way. Each time critical thoughts enter your mind, apologize to your body (would you want someone to talk to you this way?) and shift to something positive, like the image of someone you love or a beautiful memory. Persistently do this as often as necessary. Practice makes permanent.

Here’s a fun and powerful exercise to help you get started:

Write a love letter to your body.

Give yourself quiet, reflective time in a comfortable space. While relaxed, write a loving letter of acceptance to your body. For example, tell your body you’re committed to take very good care of it. Thank your body for all the ways it serves you. Apologize to your body for times you may have neglected, abused or criticized it. If you love your body, say so. If it’s hard to love and accept your body right now, that’s OK. Tell your body you want to love and accept it. Your intention is very powerful and opens a pathway to inspire you to treat your body more lovingly. Write freely and from your heart. In closing, let your body know you’re doing the best you can to honor its needs.

On an energy level, your relationship with your body is as real as any relationship you have with a person. Writing a letter to your body helps you strengthen this relationship so you feel more connected with, and more accepting of, your body. The more you accept your body just the way it is today, the easier it is to release weight with greater confidence and self-love.

Do you ever wonder why it’s so hard to lose weight when you’ve tried everything to make it happen? You really, really want this, yet success eludes you. If it’s difficult to stay on track, even when you know what to do, dig deeper and discover what’s really holding you back.

Your Conscious vs Subconscious Beliefs

When there is something we consciously desire, but we can’t seem to make it happen, chances are that our subconscious, hidden beliefs are preventing us from having what we want. Let’s use an iceberg analogy. Our conscious mind is the tip of the iceberg. It’s visible and obvious. From this place our desires are pretty clear: “I want to lose weight.”

Your subconscious mind is the mass of ice below, hidden beneath the surface. It is much more powerful than the small tip above. For you to lose weight with ease, your conscious and subconscious minds must agree. If your subconscious mind also says, “I want to lose weight”, you most likely will. But if your subconscious mind holds fears, doubts, and apprehension about losing weight, chances are you will have a very difficult time.

What’s Stopping You?

To move beyond whatever subconscious blocks exist, you need to discover what they are. Be gentle with yourself. It’s not your fault if you’re having a hard time releasing weight if you don’t even know what hidden obstacles are blocking you. But if you truly want to lose weight, it’s your responsibility to find out.

Here are some common underlying beliefs that often sabotage weight loss efforts:

“I’m afraid to lose weight and become thin because men will find me attractive and take advantage of me.”

“I’m afraid to lose weight because if I’m thin and I still don’t meet anyone, then I’ll really feel like a failure.”

“If I’m thin then I won’t be like everyone else in my family and I don’t want to be disloyal and feel separate from them.”

“If I’m thin, my sister may feel sad because she isn’t.”

“If I lose weight, than who am I if I’m not a fat person?”

“If I lose weight, more may be expected of me and I don’t feel confident that I can handle more responsibility.”

“If I lose weight and my family no longer picks on me, then maybe they’ll gang up on my brother and I need to protect him”

“I want to lose weight but I just don’t believe I can be successful at this or anything.”

Acknowledge – Release – Reprogram

If you’ve struggled with weight loss for a long time, simply acknowledging that hidden, self-limiting beliefs exist is an important first step. This is not an excuse for why you’re unable to release weight; it is a psychologically valid explanation.

The power of subconscious beliefs lessen when you know what they are. While insight alone isn’t necessarily enough to eliminate them, they begin to lose strength once revealed.

When you know what deeper beliefs exist, you can neutralize and release them. You then recreate in your mind new beliefs that support you in reaching your weight loss goals. For example, you can release the belief that you are a “failure” and create a new belief of confidence and strong self-worth. While you may think this is impossible, understand that “thinking it’s impossible” is just another belief that you can change.

Give yourself the gift of support and speak with either a psychotherapist or life coach. Visualization and hypnosis, as well as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) are powerful tools that help you create new, positive beliefs to support you in reaching your weight loss goals.

This process takes time. It requires your patience. Understand that something deeper than finding the next quick fix is your only solution to permanent weight loss.