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, and DanODay.com Jake Novak's material is used by more than 100 radio stations across the world! You can email Jake at jakesjokes@gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Kerry OutSenator John Kerry announced Wednesday that he will not join the campaign for president in 2008. That's good, because he didn't really campaign for president in 2004 either.

Kerry says he's not running for president so he can focus his time on more important matters... like learning how to tell a joke.

Hillary's StrategyPolitical insiders say Hillary Clinton will use many of the same campaign techniques her husband Bill used to win over voters. Except in her case, she won't be trying to sleep with them.

Internet ThreatChinese Communist Party chief Hu Jintao has vowed to "purify" the Web. How surprised he'll be when he finds he can't run over the Internet with a tank.

Washington's ApologyGrey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington says he has entered a "treatment facility" to deal with whatever caused his use of a homophobic slur on the set. And by "treatment facility," he means he's going to the bank to see all the money he's going to lose if he gets kicked off a hit show.

Phony ReporterA New York Mets fan who posed as a reporter to meet players pleaded guilty and won't be going to jail. But he will be sent to cover the Kansas City Royals, who have been posing as a professional baseball team for 12 years.

Merkel at DavosGerman Prime Minister Angela Merkel used the keynote address at the ongoing Davos business conference to warn against isolationism... at least that's what I think she said; I couldn't get past the armed guards surrounding the meeting hall.

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About Me

Jake Novak is one of the most prolific satirists on the planet. More than one million people from New York to New Zealand hear and read his comedy every week on radio stations, newspapers and Web sites. Jake's material is featured along with comedy from Dave Letterman and Jay Leno every Thursday in Newsday. He also has a Jewish humor column in every issue of The Jewish Week and a brand new comic strip "Schmooze or Lose" in the L.A. Jewish Journal. You can reach him at jakesjokes@gmail.com