She did not give up, and said, “Well, you don’t seem to be upset.” I did not want to get into any discussion, but I had acted as if nothing had happened as long as I could – and I reacted.

“If I were doing well with my grief, I would be over in the corner curled up in a fetal position crying, not standing here acting as though no one had died.”

We are doing well with our grief when we are grieving. Somehow we have it backwards. We think people are doing well when they aren’t crying. Grief is a process of walking through some painful periods toward learning to cope again.

We do not walk this path without pain and tears. When we are in the most pain, we are making the most progress. When the pain is less we are coasting, and resting for the next steps. People need to grieve. Grief is not the enemy to be avoided; it is a healing path to be walked.