After all the recent threads and posts about our lack of faith in our political leaders it struck me that the best way to clear out the mess would be to present some new parties rather than purge the ones we have.
This led me to realise that on the Arrse we have a wide range of talent who could do a good job, and who have already demonstrated their willingness to serve and if necessary lay down their lives for their country. The latter being something that I rather doubt that even one in a hundred of those currently in Parliament would be prepared to do.

So here is my proposal for the first Arrse Shadow Cabinet, open to comments, completions, and suggestions.

PM â¦â¦â¦â¦.Good CO â for his abilities in managing this lot.

Chancellorâ¦â¦Bad CO â for his ability to give bad news and necessary measures to be undertaken.

The above two are for their talents obviously, and not because I am a grovelling little bootlicker, not at all.

Home Secâ¦â¦..Chocolate Frog â The Channel would soon be full of foreign types paddling home, and the streets full of freshly-birched chavs hanging from lamp-posts as examples.

Defenceâ¦â¦â¦â¦Putteesinmyhands â Yorkshire type, get value for money.Would also make sure the TA was not abused any more.

Min for Cultureâ¦..MDN â has got to be worth watching this.

Foreign Sec. â¦â¦â¦.The Lord Flasheart â Would soon have Johnny Foreigner in his place with a few well-chosen fleas in ears. Plus I can just hear his first conversation with Hilary Clinton.
âRight so we will double the Army in size, but first we all round up everything we have, pile into Afghanland, and spread the Taliban all over the mountains. Donât worry about the other NATO leaders Iâll soon have them in line; you just get the CIA to arrange a fatal car accident for Chubb.
Now thatâs all sorted, do you take it up the hoop?â

Educationâ¦â¦â¦â¦â¦...Smartascarrots - Who else? Common sense and dry wit will have them jumping in the ministry

Transportâ¦â¦â¦â¦â¦â¦Old Fat And Hairy â well he does know all about motorised wheelchairs.

I'd be more than happy to take the Foreign Sec job. One condition and one condition only. I get to control the nukes. I want the big red fuck-off button. Every foreign trip I went on, I'd carry the BRFOB and use it as a 'negotiating tool' to all the Johnny foreigners I had the displeasure of dealing with. If they didn't play ball, I'd turn their shit hole of a country into a marble floored car park.

Im not sure if he is an avid arrse user but i would like to see the one and only Mike Golden as PM. His way with words, intellect and down right honesty is just what this country needs to get back on its feet!

Right since the average MP makes Â£64,766
A Cabinet post would be better as well Â£141,866 lasts a wee bit longer.
So to be thorough here is the complete list of jobs.

Prime Minister
First Lord of the Treasury
Minister for the Civil Service
Chancellor of the Exchequer
Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs
Secretary of State for Justice
Lord Chancellor
Secretary of State for the Home Department
Secretary of State for Health
Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform
Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
Secretary of State for International Development
Secretary of State for Defence
Leader of the House of Commons
Lord Privy Seal
Minister for Women and Equalities
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government
Secretary of State for Transport
Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families
Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change
Secretary of State for Work and Pensions
Secretary of State for Northern Ireland
Leader of the House of Lords
Lord President of the Council
Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport
Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills
Chief Secretary to the Treasury
Secretary of State for Wales
Secretary of State for Scotland