The news about Finn is truly sad, and I extend condolences to his loved ones.

It is usual to feel helpless and angry when we hear about such events, and frustrated that there is nothing we can do to help.

But there IS something that well people can do to help the sick, and do very effectively. They can volunteer for a medical support or lobby group.

I have been lobbying on behalf of a particular cancer charity for some years, and know how hard it is for those who are already carrying the burden of illness to add political or nurturing activity to their list of daily mountains to climb.

It's bloody hard to lobby for the action needed in your area when your membership, who have the most intimate knowledge of the issues, are not well enough to carry the stress of being an activist. I have watched committee members buckle under the strain, or worse, suffer a relapse. Sick people have a tendency to die off at a greater rate than you might expect to find on "normal" committees, too, which means the group may have difficulty completing tasks. People become difficult to replace on your working groups. It all seems too hard.

When the Health Ministry is involved, I have seen their staff insist on meetings being held on their own premises, regardless of how many physical difficulties the lobby/support group faces in accessing them. Meeting with MPs can be similarly challenging. Some flexibility on their part would help.

So what I am saying is: don't leave the sick to support each other. At a time when it seems our health system is more cracks than substance, those who have been afflicted by illness, whether physical or mental, need all the voluntary support from healthy people that we can muster. Thank you.

This is the letter the Herald journalists' chapel sent to APN CEO Martin Simons last week:

Dear Mr Simons,

I am writing to express the concern of the Herald Journalists Chapel over the "clarification" published in yesterday's Bay Report newspaper.

We understand that the item, regarding comments attributed to John Key in the December 20, 2007 edition of the paper, was inserted on your instructions.

It is not necessary here to traverse the facts of the original news article or the need or otherwise for the clarification.

Our concern arises from your management interference in an editorial decision of a newspaper. Our concern is heightened by the fact that your action was on behalf of a political party. We clearly have no objection to your conversing or corresponding with politicians. Our concern is that you have acted as the conduit for an approach which ought properly to have been made to the reporter and/or editor/s concerned. It might have seemed a small matter since the paper concerned is a local one. However, the potential effect is to portray all New Zealand newspapers owned by APN as subservient to political interference. The risk is that readers will perceive the Herald, which has previously carefully guarded its political independence, as open to National Party influence.

We would appreciate hearing your view on this matter and ask that in future you respect the tradition of editorial independence.

We are circulating this letter to other journalists at the Herald and within the union because of the widespread concern among journalists about the matter.

Simons has not yet responded. The word is that Simons personally worked out a clarification with Key and told the Advocate/Bay Report editor-in-chief Laura Franklin to publish it.

So much emphasis is placed on the consumer having to agree that they need help before it could be provided, and I saw so many occasions where family, partners, neighbours or workmates would be concerned about someone's obvious deteriorating health and unusual behaviour, but unitl that person recognised it themselves, the clinicians would not act.

Hey Russel, thank you so much for a fitting eulogy. I wish Finn were around to guest blog, he would have sunk his teeth into that one like the intellectually voracious person he was. It is a slight sin to be calling What If's, but still I think if the DHB and CATT were more prepared/resourced, Finn might be able to say "I made it" and then get on with the fabulous life he'd always wanted.

On the other hand, the CATT members dealing with Finn seemed to have had a hard time. I would describe them as sullen husks. I think Craig Ranapia has a point about the staffing issues for this part of the industry. Perhaps staff working in mental health units should have some secret garden with wildflowers, fountains, perhaps some video games, and an in house chakra healer. I'd be more than happy to give mental health workers a pay rise and wicked staff perks/working environment with my tax dollar(s) - if it meant they were mentally replenished enough to give a shit about their work again.

Needless to say there are some probs which go further up the management chain but I think my waffle should end here.

As Finn's partner I would like to express my thanks to those who have given their condolences, it has been warm and wonderful.

My condolences to Finn's partner and family too. What can I say but repeat what others have said? I suppose that the repetition si an affirmation of community...

I've been thinking about this: in this case, the medium and the community are the same thing. I think it gives a much better account of the sad news than the stunted syntax of a mainstream media story. It's a better, more fulfilling marker.

If kids do this on MySpace or Bebo, the news media starts shrieking about internet suicide cults. But we're grown up, so it's alright.

If kids do this on MySpace or Bebo, the news media starts shrieking about internet suicide cults. But we're grown up, so it's alright.

I was wondering how I'd feel if the media picked up on PA/S and our comments started appearing in newspapers. I kinda finished up feeling that I'd feel like a private space got invaded, which is illogical given that this is the internet and not a private space, but still.

Made me think about how 'those kids' must feel - no one pays attention to them until someone dies, and then all of a sudden a spotlight is put on their previously ignored space. Not hard to link suicide to 'getting attention' in that light.

I am not sure I would be so balanced or eloquent in the same circumstances Sophie. More power to you.

if it meant they were mentally replenished enough to give a shit about their work again.

The argument about how many resources we can chuck at a debatably small section of society is one that may never be truly resolved. However it pisses me off massively that someone could decide to do it, as a job, with that responsibility, and not follow through that little bit extra. Im not saying it’s not a terrifically hard or draining task, but goddamit, the system needs to work out how to juggle those drains, and individuals within the current system who realise they are starting to “not give a shit” need to start yelling for help.

Without knowing anything about this specific situation, other than what has been disclosed here and in the paper, while I can easily summon plenty of anger at any systemic failures in our health system that lead to unnecessary death, I am loath to condemn those individuals who are actually out there on the front line doing a bloody tough job.

For every burn-out who has seen too much and has just had enough, there are many more good people doing their damndest for all the right reasons under stressful conditions (not always with the right tools at their disposal). The current situation with the staff shortage of cancer and oncology services provided for the Wellington region is a good example where good people are being stretched too thinly.

As has been suggested by others, maybe the support services for those individuals need to be reinforced and strengthened. But that requires yet another resource in a situation where resources are already taxed. Health is a no-win game - as our population ages the task of providing adequate public healthcare for all becomes less and less possible. I don't know the answers, I just know its a hellava difficult thing for any society to manage.

"If kids do this on MySpace or Bebo, the news media starts shrieking about internet suicide cults. But we're grown up, so it's alright."

Yeah this struck me for an hour or two yesterday.

How unfair Finns passing is and made more so if grief or condolenses aren't able to be shared.

I looked back to a few of my own darker moments & I can see where this commentary could be a problem.

I also cringe at the "New Cops" story about suicide & how the cop saved the day - just that easy isn't it. And sneer at the bloody cadbury chocolate easter eggs add campaign at the moment as well. I know this is being a little over sensitive.