Men vs Women…

It’s true what they say… Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Will we ever truly understand each other? Was it meant to be a life of game playing to get what we want? Were Adam and Eve actually meant to be Adam and Steve? These are questions I want to know the answer to, because as much as I know my husband as a person, I will probably never understand men.

Let’s look at stereotypes. Men are strong, muscular, hard working, good at DIY…

Women are sensitive, caring, nurturing and great at gossiping.

However these typical stereotypes don’t apply to all, which is where the confusion sets in. Women are in fact very strong, a lot of us are independent, and dare I say it, good at DIY.

Betty White once said…

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

In our house I do all the housework, apart from take the bin out, that is definitely a mans job. I ‘work’ two days a week at an IT distributor and the remaining five I do my other job which is to look after my two boys and keep the housework under control.

I’m making it sound easy, it’s not. I hate it when people (men) at work make comments about the lack of days I work, like I swan about drinking coffee with my friends when I’m not there. Even my own husband doesn’t really have a clue how challenging being a full time mum and house wife is.

The reason I call it a job, is because I am in fact not just a mother, but a teacher, a nurse, a cleaner, a chef (I use that term loosely,) an entertainer, a laundry person (think dot cotton!) do I need to go on…?

Jordan, my husband, is a scaffolder and has a very physically strenuous job. Hats off to the guy, he is very hard working and I couldn’t do his job in a million years. The only time I kept my hat on was in the final hour of established labour with Mack and I could hear him in the background banging on about scaffolding to a midwife! I’m not going to lie, at that moment in time I had never hated him more, he is just lucky he was on the other side of the room! As strong and hardworking as he is, I don’t believe he could do my job in a million years either. He does actually admit this after spending just a few hours with our children.

We’re built differently, and although most men can take the physical strain of hard work, women are more often able to take the mental strain.

Having said that, if I have to take the mental strain of his multiple choice answers which consist of “don’t mind love”, “you choose” and “not fussed” every time I ask what he wants for dinner, I will probably check myself in to an asylum.

When I serve him up a plate of shit, I’m sure he will start having an opinion.

Actually, those answers apply to every question I ask him that requires a decision. So that’s another one for the list of things woman are good at;

Decision making (because we have no choice)

There are things I’m glad he has zero opinion about though. Our wedding for one. Let’s just say it was just as much of a surprise to Jordan as it was to our guests. That’s fine though, my mum and I had a great time planning it. The only time I needed his help was de-coding all of his mates ridiculous nicknames so I could do the table plan.

The other is interiors. I’m not sure if he stays out of it because he genuinely doesn’t care, or if he just hasn’t got a clue, either way it’s for the best. His idea of a nice living room is a black lazy boy chair (never happening) surround sound, a cinema sized TV and probably a fridge so he doesn’t have to move.

He jokes about my little vintage finds and calls them old tat, but I’m sure he likes them really!

I actually read something once, if you want your husband to do something for you, touch their…… arm (don’t know what you were thinking of 😉) whilst asking and they are more likely to do it. Also, turning something around so they believe it was their idea to begin with also works wonders! Think of them like little pets you have to train… A bit like a tamagotchi.

There are two things I know for sure though, when we become girlfriends/wives we 100% replace their mothers! And the other thing is that men can under absolutely no circumstance, multi task!

I mean I’m writing this whilst making dinner… Check me!!!

All men need to do to keep a women happy is,

Surprise us (flowers, chocolate, dinner)

Appreciate us and all that we do

Make us laugh

Decide what you want for friggin dinner!

Let us choose the decor (unless you are the straight version of Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen) but even then it’s questionable.