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Hey Folks,I've been doing some random writing and recently showedit to a bunch of friends who really seemed to like it.They suggested I should try to publish in a weeklyNewsletter or something, but I have no idea how to goabout it or whether it's really worth persuing.Here's an excerpt from Day 1 of "The Chronicles"(I'm up to Day 7).Would love to hear your comments suggestions...

Conversations with Us/Jack's Neurotic Chronicles

DAY 1I am Jack's Neurotic ramblings...Hello stranger, so your curiosity got the better of you, and you couldn'tresist the temptation to figure out what the hell this is all aboot eh ?We'll to be perfectly honest I ain't sure either. I'll let you decide...The obvious answer would be that it's a sardonic view of our UniversalIdentity crisis - the fact that you and I need an identity, and will readilyaccept one from DSM-IV as fast as they can hand out Accornyms...But that would be too obvious...It could be about labels and how our internal dialogue affects ourperception.Some might say it's a sarcastic look at New Ageism, our pervasive lackof Spirituality, insidious materialism, constant internal strife, path torealization and liberation and the Ultimate state of Nirvanic bliss - but they would be wrong, the Enquirer is in the next rack...Some might even go as far as to say it's very Zen...which is thelatest "cool" label for anything New Age.This newsletter is spontaneous, with little editing - i.e. I'm a sloth,so I'll use the "true to artistic expression" excuse... Basically, I figured it would be a very cool, if I could cash in on my Neurosis...(yea, brilliant idea eh ?), especially considering that I have plentyof it to fill many many volumes...Perhaps this has been done before, but I am unique, like everyone else,and as such I've decided to fill the empty void in your life with myneurotic ramblings...the reason u find this appealing (yes, I will actuallytell u this, just in case) is because u identify with me as muchas I identify with u...If you didn't u would have read up to here, OR would presently be lining the kitty litter box with this...In any case you have made it this far...obviously ...andu are hoping there there is going to be some actual content to this...almost as much as I'm hoping I'll be able to actually create somecontent...But seriously, I've decided to publish what goes through my head ona daily basis in the form of a journal, for your reading pleasure. I often wonder what's on people's minds as they wander past, andsometimes, by the expression on their face, I feel glad that I don't know But here's a glimpse into my life, into my Existential angst, into my very soul...Perhaps u will see the transient nature of thoughts, the constant fluxof the personality, and that fleeting but seductive thing we call ME...And the hope is that you might see a reflection of yourself, that itmight make you pause, perhaps ever so briefly and Realize your trueself, beyond labels, ideas, and beyond the mind...OK, I'm all misty eyed now...This is starting to feel affected... I will write later, when it feels moreREAL...OK, I'm back, it's 6 pm, I figured it would be a good time to give you a littleintroduction about myself...I'm your average dysfunctional sociopath who thinkshe has a story to tell. I am Jack's egoic dellusion. So who am I...really ?I mean behind this fascade of sarcasm, who is that wakes up in the morning,get's Horribly Depressed, Thinks himself into a contorted concept, curlsup into a feotal position, Un-thinks, Meditates, becomes Euphoric, writes,etc ? Well DSM-IV has me all figured out...OCD, GAD, Depressive, here's a bottleof Paxil and two .44 shells (in case u miss the first time ), call usfrom the OTHER side...Acording to my mom, I'm her son (thank goodness), according to my ex-wife, I'm...well we won't go into that...according to my ex employer I'm the most fabulousworker in existance (but they don't require my services right now ), accordingto my friends I'm a Sensitive New Age Guy who has yet to try the Soy Milk Lattes,according to myself, I'm the perfectly concientious human being who Cosmic Forcesare unjustly out to torment for their sadistic ammusement...and according to theBuddha..."I" don't exist at ALL Whoever I may be I'm hoping that we can discover it together and find that weare truely One, not as a regurgitated New Age aphorism, but as a direct truth,and that whoever we are, once we've shed our labels n defenses n pride, n ideas about ourselve, is OK...In fact, for fear of putting a label on it,I'd say it might be somewhere between good n better... Or perhaps not, and perhaps it's all just a terrible tragedy...but "who's to say ?"...well perhaps we are...but "who knows ?" well perhapswe know...and so it goes...We see the world through our conditioned filters of perception, not that that'sa bad thing, but the trouble is that we see that filter as so immutable, so permanent and unchangable. It's the I-Me-My filter. Reinforced by our Past,kept alive by our future and constantly filtering out the Present Moment,when in reality the opposite is what's really needed. If would could filterout everything else and simply attend to the present moment, our past wouldbe a pleasent memory and our future cheerfully indifferent (and most likelya lot "better" by our current standards).

So the BIG question that concerns every one of us is "How can we be happy"...this is everyones ultimate goal...whether u like it or not Perhaps I'm being a bit presumptious here, but every act of our is motived by the need for some form of satisfaction. The goal is to find peace in whatever form that may be. But the trouble is can we "find" peace ?I mean where is it ? it's intangible, and yet ever so real. Our feelings can be the same way, often I've felt abject dispair or terrifying anxiety, but when I really look inside and try to find it,as a thing, it isn't there. In the moment there truely are No Problems...not that the anxiety or dispair alleviate immediately, but they aresimply not a problem for that moment. Time is what creates the suffering- the worry that the state will persist indefinitely. But here's aninteresting shift in perspective that sometimes helps, every once in a whileI try to imagine how I would feel if I TRUELY knew that I would diein a week/month/few hours what have you. It's an absolutely revolutionaryperspective