I am an enneagram type 4. This won’t mean a lot to many people but if you know, you know. I have big feelings. So, when a year draws to close and a new one begins, I fall into a reflective mood. Perhaps I should backtrack a little. In the last few months I have said goodbye to the part…

I’m currently in one of those seasons when I feel like I’m not at my best. I recognise it because when I’m chatting to people I want to sit them down and tell them ‘this isn’t me’. Normally I’ve got more energy or enthusiasm or ideas and I’m fun to hang out with, but right now I feel like I’m…

I just saw a friend’s Facebook post announcing their new baby to the world. It of course included a shoutout to his wife who’d been incredible. She of course would have been, labour is hard. But so is miscarriage and those women, my wife included, never get the recognition for their bravery in the face of suffering with no happy…

I’ve just realised that I’m scared. For a few weeks, probably months if I’m honest, I’ve held on to this unsettled feeling, I’ve dreaded dates in the diary and what the future might hold and unfortunately for Dave, I’ve been a bit fragile. Basically, I can go from happy to crying very quickly, which I think still scares and confuses…

Re-imagining what life looks like when confronted by childlessness and infertility is a common theme throughout Saltwater and Honey. We are so grateful to guest blogger Sue who is sharing her personal story below. A few weeks ago, I had a full hysterectomy – everything out – tubes, ovaries and womb. Nothing that unusual in this, it is an operation…

When I was diagnosed as infertile, there was a delayed reaction before I fell headfirst into a breakdown that disabled me for about 5 months. The emotional impact of childlessness and infertility has enormous potential for mental illness, and for me, this was the most acutely painful part of our story. I’d never experienced anxiety or depression before, and stress…

Spoiler alert!! So today on national television I will tell St Pam Rhodes that I cannot pray for a child for myself. My Songs of Praise interview actually happened a few weeks ago and as soon as those words fell from my lips I felt both pride and shame in equal measure as I sought to explain the complexity of…

I’ve just got back from The Rhythm of Hope, a retreat/conference day for couples going through their own journey of childlessness and infertility, where Sheila, Lizzie, Dave and I were honoured and humbled to serve, and share a bit of our stories. I know several of the couples there today have read posts on Saltwater and Honey, and it was…

The lights on the Christmas tree are twinkling in the corner of the room, the smell of the biggest roast dinner you will eat this year is floating under your nose and filling the house. You’re holding your first glass of wine for the day and moving towards one of those tiny tables designed specifically for remote controls and small…

I’m writing this from my single room in a retreat house in the heart of Essex. I’ve just had dinner with a nun, a Rector and a saintly old lady from Suffolk. I am a fish out of water. Going on retreat has been a longing of mine for a while. I’m here for 24 hours after blackmailing Elis into…

Saltwater and Honey is a collection of voices sharing their stories about infertility, miscarriage, childlessness and faith. These experiences can be painful and leave you feeling isolated but we want you to know that you are not alone, it’s okay to grieve and your story matters.