I think god or gods or higher being or whoever is supposed to meet me after death, is messed up... Its like I was born cursed. its like one great thing happens but to pay my price 5 horrible things have to happen...

So to start things off, everyone in my family is stressed out... This past weekend my mom told me to leave my house after she came in my room screaming at me, because I asked her to get on clothes while she was swimming. I mean, whatever... be naked blahblah but not when I'm home... or at least have the respect to put on clothes after I ask. Then I'm still on meds for getting sick when I eat. Though my grandma is doing better I spent most of last week in the hospital because the tiny tumors in her bowels were shutting her bowels down. So now shes having a 'chance' chemo treatment. Meaning, either due to the fact that shes had to much chemo before it wont work, or this one in a million chance where it will work and dissolve some on the tumors for her to live longer.. but eventually, even if the chemo works this time, it wont later on. My mom fell at work like two months ago and broke some ribs. She had a seizure when she fell (no, she didn't fall due to a seizure). So The ribs are healed but now she blacks out... like full body freeze, mumbling, incoherntness... then after she blacksout she cant talk. It's like her mouth is frozen, so she just sits there rocking and stuttering. Totally a Murphy's law moment... Anything that can go wrong, will. My phone fell in water.. I mean a tiny 5 inch across bowl of water, which was no where near my phone and it does a diving death bomb straight into the bowl and is all messed up now. Then the day after that happens.. or day that happened.. I'm not quite sure anymore. (so either 4 or 5 days ago) My dog goes missing... you have this feeling sometimes, where you just know whats happening, what happened, or what will happen.. I just had this feeling that something was horribly wrong when my sister told me she couldn't find her even though she had been out all night looking for the dog... after my moms doctors appointment, I went out to go put up lost dog signs, and as I was cutting through the desert I saw a vulture on the ground... I was hoping it was a squirrel or something, I had already tested my stomach out on another puppy I found down the road that morning... But no.. those people or person or whatever in the sky that rolls our dice and plays us like a board game had a bad turn... there was my dog. I cant get over her not having a face... it was like some fat person came and sucked the meat off of her like a chicken wing... No face at all. and the lower half of her body was flipped inside out.. I could barely see the color of the fur on her feet.. and her collar was nearby. I stayed in denial saying she was killed by some rattlesnake or baby scorpion, had a somewhat fast and not so painful death and the vultures did all the work on her.. but later I found out while my sister was walking around in the middle of the night looking for her she heard a small pack of wild dogs beating something up.. And last night, those same worthless animals jumped into my fenced in dog yard pulled my cat out of the tree, my dad got out there before they could rip her up but she was already dieing. I say.. if those people hated me this much, why not just push me in front of a bus? let me meet up with a crazy polar bear? die in a plane crash? or why not get trampled by giraffes? or hippos? I mean, of all the things that happen why cant it ever just be one horrible thing and thats the end of it?.

So I'm leaving the 2nd of may till around the tenth or eleventh. Going on a road trip, my uncles getting married.. if I get online that means I stole someones laptop X] Wish me luck though >.> I have to be around my ------ cousin for a while.

As many have come to know, my last name is Lombardo. Most don’t take advantage of that due to fact of names like “the clown” Lombardo and of course, me being a crazy person...

Anyways… my sister has been doing research lately on family history. Everyday while I’m at school, she now finds herself starring at this little girl… Her name is Rosalia Lombardo, died 1920. She is two, being born in 1918, some say three 1917, some seven but either way she is called the “sleeping angel” or “sleeping beauty”.

You can find her at Catacombe dei Cappuccini of Palermo of Sicily, where she is perfectly preserved of almost 100 years. She was the last (or one of the last) to be entered in to The Capuchin Catacombs before they were closed. The Catacombs are lined with supposedly 8000 corpses. Along the walls, in coffins and in containers they used to dry the bodies out in. They are all close enough to touch and the smell is supposedly not as bad as most would come to think. They are all well organized, actually having different sections depending on how the person was. Sections for women, children, Men, professionals, (like doctors and lawyers...) even a section for virgin women, and monks.

The bodies were either mummified, embalmed, washed in vinegar, dried out or a combination. Rosalia was actually embalmed by Dr. Alfredo Salafia, who injected a series of chemicals into her. They say the secret of his method was taken with his death, yet there is no evidence to prove that he didn’t educate people about the preservation of bodies such as hers.

Found in a glass case on a marble pedestal, she has a somewhat unnatural skintone due to some decay, but a hundred years later and look at her.

1: went and visited cousin in hospital, who's colon might of ruptured and is internally bleeding.
2: grandfather has a surgery on Monday
3: as well as my aunt ^
4: other aunt got a chunk of her face bitten off by a Dog
5: uncle has highly accelerated cancer.
6: aunt Tami, who by the way is dying of 5 terminal illnesses, large intestine ruptured, and I watched her be carried away on a stretcher. YAY today... -_-

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk, standing behind me, watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly slurred, 'Ya mus be single.' I was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but I was intrigued by the drunk's intuition, since I was indeed single.
I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know
what, you're absolutely right, but how on earth did you know that?'

Apparently, I hit in my sleep. O.o
My sister said she came in my room to show me some soap smells like, Ok, that's just really weird in the first place... >.> but now I'm kind of curious and kind of want to know. ANYWAYs, she came in pushed me lightly and I punched her in the arm, then turned over and said "leave me alone you ass" ;;;<.< and I can tell I did it, 'cause she has a giant bruise on her arm....

So I go to the Southern Arizona Children's Advocacy Center... yeah.. say that 5 times fast.... ANYWAYS! I go to the place with the people and the thing, and I take my monkey with me, who I have officially given fingerless gloves so he matches me. I sit in the waiting room, the friggin Ami chicka with the ditsy attitude comes out and introduces herself "Hi! my names Ami!! ahehe are you Ashley? I just wanted to come out and get a face to match to the name, nice to meet you! I'll be out in a second and then you will come to the back with me so we can speak! ahehe" ok.. you should of been there.. it was annoying.. in a very.. happy way. O.o

soooo I wait longer.. and finally her and her bubbly self pop back into the waiting room and I'm asked to walk to the back.. and to leave my friggin monkey.. >< MY MONKEY! >< damn woman

so we get to the little room and she has me sit down in a big blue comfy swallow you whole chair.. only thing I say, "schweet"

she introduces herself.. AGAIN! in the same annoying way. then asks my full name.. and she is surprised at how long it is.. I mean jeez its only 28 letters ... if you take away three names... then shes asks about my family, likes the fact that I have a zoo due to my many animals and also likes that my uncle is named after the dude from never ending story.. you know that movie.. ok whatever, then she asks if I know why I'm there.. Obviously I know. So then she asks me to explain everything that went down at that stupid party. WOOO I do it in detail, so she leaves and allows me draw on her giant kiddie easel (it was purple.. I couldn't resist.. and the markers were the really chunky ones you use in grade school? you know.. schweet huh?.. I thought so too)

She comes back.. OH GREAT! and has me explain the story again, I tell you things like this are hard to explain *shudders* then she has me draw up a layout of the house and explain everything using the friggin diagram there.. I'm free... oh wait.. she has me explain again. >< its like hell on wheels... at last she lets me leave and I go and grab a juicy and teddy gram crackers 'cause I'm just p.i.m.p. like that you know, grab my monkey from my mom and sit down waiting for the people to finish talking with my mom... my mom finally walks out, I grab some goldeyfishey crackers and start to head out, the women walks out from behind the glass like its finally safe, I wont shoot her, and hands me a teddy bear, with a blue little shirt on. I've named him Fransisco.

My mom follows me to the truck and mentions how the other lady (which feed me so I like her) thinks "I'm a major beauty" and how they video taped me in friggin room so it can be used in court.. WOOO that was Ashley's day.

They love each-other.. spoil each-other, they hug and kiss and go gushy hoping other people are just like them.. but Wait! He.. fantasies over other women..? It used to be just one woman.. but now its many? Clearly the euphoria is at an overdose. At least the predominating emotion isn't depression or fatalistic. Perhaps going from a life of stress to a life on idle back to the stress has caused his mind to compensate love of other woman into the picture due to his lack of intercourse from his one during injuries. In this emotionally charged situation it was not experimentally premeditated to discuss the unpleasant experience of his minds desire, therefore causing a ripple in the happiness due to his wanted promiscuous activity and her need to find out his hearts place. In the deliberation, her persistent and consistent mood state was that of apprehensive anxiety and fear. This fear specifically directed to loneliness.. In this psychosexual moment what route is to be taken?

1) You dont have to think about stupid shit between people you care about
2) you find things like your old bow and some extra arrows, a piercing gun which your mom bought as a gift a month ago, and a corset
3) The place is clean!
4) No bitching from people for it not being clean
5) you get rid of shit so later on you can bring in more shit for your once clean space
6) if you REALLY REALLY try... it will stay clean

People go and come and go again. Life is lost then gained. Emotions run wild and I am left in this mess. Fuck I love it. It's like a blurry rainbow Hellhole. But everything is on the right track. Forget me not for I shall make sense of it eventually! Dearest, I couldn't say goodbye I dont know why. Anticipate and Evaluate, Its what I shall do.