So I had a pretty good day, emotionally: more low key then the other days. We had a lot of talk around power in our lifes and who or what holds the power over ourselves. It's a very interesting thing to think about and I encourage anyone to try doing it, in whatever way you feel. Whether that be through creative expression, movement, journaling, thinking, meditating or my method linear list making hehe. After a long, long, long talk about everything and some real "inner work" , I came up with the small attainable goal of needing to run. This is something that is not new for me. Whenever I feel like I need to be alone and work through my thoughts I always turn to running. It is something that I have been craving since I arrived on this peninsula. Something I have not really been able to find the time to do and when that happens I begin to feel anxious.But this time I made a plan to try and run tomorrow morning. I returned to my bungalow (sort of ) with an uneasy feeling about this plan but trying to keep the hope present in my heart. An event (back home) that has been very present in my mind as a possibility came true after this, something I had been fearing would happen soon and I was really overcome with anger. This emotion is something I have not felt since being here at Findhorn. Anger is something that has not even crossed my mind. So I was of course taken by surprise at this. I felt that no longer excuses of "oh it's too dark, I don't know where I am going, I'm tired" wouldn't cut it ... I had to run. Right in that moment. So I did. I went in my room, put clothes on, turned my music up real loud and ran off. Towards what? I didn't really know. Where I am staying is called Findhorn Foundation or the Findhorn community but there is also a Findhorn Village which is at the very edge of the peninsula on the ocean. It is a small, old fashioned fishing village which houses some people not really keen on this "commune" (as they call it) atmosphere. I am saying all this because I ran all the way there. Just kept going and going. Running on this quinticenstial scottish road with the stone houses right along the bay. At sunset. It was maybe the most out of body and energizing experience I have ever had. I felt more like myself in that moment than any other. I passed an older woman riding her bike as I ran furiously both crying and laughing at the same time as I looked out at the beautiful scenery. She definitly thought I was a crazy girl. ( which I secretly loved) The view was something that I wish I could share with every person because it was that magical. I wish I had my camera to capture the general splendor. Cobblestone road, with handmade stone walls in front of the bay with birds and wildlife swarming, scottish highland mountains scattered connecting with the beautiful pink and orange sky behind that. Crazyyy beautiful. And in that moment I cried harder. For the people who weren't experiencing this, those who don't have the opportunity that I have been given. I was running in a small village in Scotland along the ocean at sunset... WHAT?! That's just ridiculous! I became extremely thankful for this life that I have been given to live to the fullest. That event that happened didn't even matter anymore and why should it? The amount of attention I have given to it is not even worth it. It DOESN'T deserve that time and thought from me. And in that moment I realized that I was letting it go. Something so liberating that I was fearful of the strong process I was going through. I began to think of my family and how lucky I am that I have their support and love through all of this. My friends and how I couldn't be where I was without them. And most importantly myself and all the inner work I have been doing. It sort of culminated in this moment and became really clear where I was going and what I was working towards. And for that I am so grateful to this place. It's magical folks and if you can come here. It WILL change you life. i love oranges :)