Friday, February 10, 2017

I Am Link

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--- Down With Daddy - Multi-sexual fur-trade Nico Tortorella has signed on to play Lyle Menendez in the upcoming Lifetime movie about the Menendez brothers (in case you're too young to remember first off, fuck you for making me feel old, and secondly they killed their parents and got press because they were hot or something). Oh and last week Courtney fucking Love signed on to play the Menendez' mother. That set is going to be a hot hot mess. (thx Mac) Also it needs to be noted, as long as we're using the word "hot," that the dude playing the other brother Erik is an actor named Myko Olivier, and he was on Glee, and he is very very attractive. Sexy Killer Central...

--- Gun Nuts - It seems kind of insane to me that anyone could watch Paul Verhoeven's Robocop and not get its razor sharp satirical take on the police - same goes for the anti-war sentiment of his Starship Troopers. But what the fuck do I know - I don't seem to understand half this country (the mean, dumb half anyway). On that note here's a take arguing that Robocop is the movie of our moment, and having just re-watched the film I can only vigorously agree.

--- Here's The Beef - Thanks to our pal Jarett for calling our attention to this sizzling fresh news - Jai Courtney is starring in a movie called BEEF. It's not actually capitalized like that but I kind of feel like it oughta be, so I will type it like that every time I talk about it. BEEF. Jai's bringing the BEEF. Anyway the movie also stars Timothy Olyphant and okay I died. I died typing that. The two of them play comical scary thugs or something, it's a fast-food caper? I don't know, who cares, please please make the two of them make out. I don't ask for much!

--- Matty's Malick Made - When I posted about Matthias Schoenaerts being in a Terrence Malick movie earlier this week I didn't even realize the film was showing at Berlinale next week - Variety's got the news that the movie
has just sold to a distributor, even before showing, and they have the
first image from the film too. If Matthias was in the picture I'd be
posting it but he's not, it's the film's main stars August Diehl and
Valerie Pachner, so you can click over for it.

--- The Nose Knows - It's been a very very long time since I have seen Walt Disney's Pinnochio but I gotta fix that after reading my pal Tom Blunt's piece on the movie's weird weird weirdness
- donkey black markets and bipedal kittens and all manner of
fantastical oddities that only add up to more and more insanity the more
you think about 'em..

--- Woolf in Green Clothing - Eva Green is making a movie about one of Virginia Woolf's lesbian love affairs, which is a sentence that makes me wish I was a lesbian, because I'd love to get off to such a thing as that. I kind of will anyway! Playing her lady amour is Gemma Aterton, who I never really got until I saw that Neil Jordan vampire movie she was in - she was fantastic in that, so it is possible. Not that anybody can ever hold the screen opposite Eva. Somebody nominate this woman for a goddamned Oscar already!

--- Slash N Burn - There have been two big bits of Slasher Movie news this week - first off Paramount has effectively dumped Jason Voorhees in the dumpster, abruptly canceling this year's film that was about to start filming. Breck Eisner, who made the very fine Crazies remake, was just about to film the thing; no word on what happened. But in Michael Myers Land there's been an enormous development - David Gordon fucking Green has signed on to write and direct a new Halloween movie! His co-conspirator in nuttery Danny McBride is co-authoring the script. For a long time Green was trying to remake Suspiria, a task which eventually got taken over by Luca Guadagnino (who's already filmed the thing) - I guess he really wants to make his horror movie! I don't even know how to wrap my head around this one.

--- Dancing Girls - Oh but speaking of that Suspiria remake one of its actresses is Mia Goth (she played the young Charlotte Gainsbourg in Nymphomaniac) and she's currently giving interviews for A Cure For Wellness, which she also stars in, and she told BD that Luca Guadagnino isn't really "remaking" Argento's film, technically.

"People are going to be really pleasantly surprised to realize that it’s really not a remake at all. I think people are going to be really shocked. It’s a nod of the hat to Dario Argento and his version of ‘Suspiria’, but we really do take it to a completely different place"

I have absolutely no clue what she means, but I'm certainly curious. (Duh.) No word yet on when this movie's out but I am hoping for Halloween-time, although Luca might be too busy Call Me By Your Name related duties this fall.

--- Livin La Vida Refn - Nicholas Winding Refn is about to make a series for Amazon - ten episodes called Live and Die Young which is about the seedy underbelly of the Los Angeles crime-world; they say it will be a lot like his Pusher series of films, only with less Mads Mikkelsen rubbing his balls on-screen. Or at least I assume - maybe Nicholas can throw us a bone on that tip. Anyway they say three big name actors have already been offered roles, but they're not giving up names yet. Fingers sniffed crossed for a reunion!

2 comments:

Re: Robocop, of course Verhoiven's a genious who has been further along than other filmmakers (Jeroen Krabbé's bisexual penis in the 4th Man? Mmmnnnh) but I binges on the unusual Wachowski movies recently, and V for Vendetta. Ouch. But more importantly, Jupiter Ascending, a movie I didn't particularly like upon first viewing now plays like a brilliant satire of the blockbuster film and has samey concerns as Robocop, under the guise of a Space Opera (emphasis on the OPERA). Totally worth a re-evaluation.

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