<You know who you are – don’t pretend you don’t. You’ve stalked me for years. I’ve asked, I’ve pleaded – no relief, no response, no cognizance that I am nothing but a potential payday from you.

My patience has ended.

I’ve tacked and my beam is abaft your stern… no mercy, no quarter…

Mr. Mowett, Mr. Pullings, starboard battery!>

I don’t read your emails anymore. They go into a file that I don’t look into. I’ve told you I’m not interested – multiple times – politely – just get me off your list. Unsubscribe me. Remove me. Delete my profile. I don’t care what you need to do but just stop sending me emails.

No! I do NOT want to relocate to <some urban hell hole that will eat up any salary I make in taxes and will end up costing me money>…

No! I do NOTwant to take a position with <fill in government agency> that will require me to have <fill in some obscure security review> for a three month position that is below what I was doing a decade ago…

I’ve explained to you, patiently, using monosyllabic language why. What I am currently doing. The reasons I don’t want the position.

Yes, I was stupid. Naïve. Trusting that a recruiter would realize an individual with decades of experience wouldn’t want to take an entry level help desk job – pre trepanning/major skull injury/stroke/long term Oxy deprivation.

One last email was sent. No longer polite, stern. Steely. Telling rather than trying to ask, no longer attempting to bring a sense of bonhomie into the ‘experience’.

No more. It’s time to raise the black flag – to fling open the locker containing the cutlasses.

I’m going to start writing about you, your company and my requests to be removed on every single site I can think of:

Glassdoor

LinkedIn

Twitter

Hell – I’ll even open a Fakebook account to display my emails imploring you to remove me from your list…