I may go straight to hell but, God help me, ABC has come up with a “Bachelor” show that I actually like. I know. I’m very ashamed.

Yes, their newest show, “Bachelor Pad,” which could be called “Bachelor Dumpster,” takes 19 of the most memorable rejects of the past 4,000 seasons of both “The Bachelor” and”The Bachelorette” and puts them all in a house together.

What they do after rolling up in the cheesy stretch limo is up to them — and the producers.

The rejects — 11 women and nine men — are given a second chance at lust and loot. At stake: $250Gs for the winner.

What I like about this show as opposed to the other earlier versions is that it’s not simply one male or female picking from a lineup of the desperate like a slave auction. Here, the 19 insanely good-looking, mentally unstable, scantily clad, all-white (by the way) losers compete against one another.

Among those chosen for this second go ’round are the mild-mannered “Weatherman” and his arch rival from Season 6, Craig M (the one with the Michael Douglas in “Wall Street” hairdo); Elizabeth K (Season 14), who is as gorgeous as she is seemingly unstable in her scary love for Jesse K (Season 5), who isn’t feeling the love back. There are other couples who have already hooked up and even unhooked before the show ever brought them back together.

Where? How? As we said a few weeks ago in a Post interview with the show’s creator, Mike Fleiss, between meeting on reunion shows and social networking sites, show vets often get together for, well, whatever. They can relate to each other’s pain — and hard abs.

Think of it as a support group for genetic lotto winners.

Anyway, each week, there’s a competition — this week it’s “Twister” wherein bikini-clad women get to stick their butts in the faces of bathing-shorts-clad men with 12-packs where six packs should be.

The winner gets to take three people on one date and then decides who gets a rose. The rose grants immunity for that round.

The, er, twist, though, is that the guys get to vote women off and vice versa. Yes, there are more women than men, but that’s because there have been more seasons of “The Bachelor” — or something.

Melissa Rycroft, who keeps getting gigs on reality shows for no known reason, joins “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” series host Chris Harrison to keep the cheese flowing.

The whole thing’s about as brain taxing as ordering a margarita at a poolside bar.