Everyone figured Beyoncé would be coming out with a new album at some point soon. After all, she’s been releasing songs here and there for months, so it had to be part of a bigger collection, right? Right. Only that album is here sooner than we think, as she never announced anything, just put it out on iTunes at midnight last night all nonchalantly.

Here’s the fun part: Beyoncé’s Beyoncé has 14 tracks, but it’s not just any kind of album… it’s a VISUAL album, and every song is actually a video too, so that you can experience the music just how Bey intended. I’m busy working so I can’t really sit and watch them now, but I’ll admit that I did actually pay for this thing on iTunes, so I hope it’s good.

I’m so torn on Beyoncé. I’ve always been a big fan, and what she’s accomplished is definitely to be admire. But sometimes lately it all just feels like too much. She’s trying too hard to be effortless, if that makes sense. She’s trying too hard to be “artistic” and “different”. Like, this “visual album” seems like something Kanye told her to do because he’s a pioneer and the new Andy Warhol or whatever. Something about it just doesn’t ring true, and I’m having a hard time reconciling that… but maybe that’s just my problem.

As you know, Jay-Z and Beyoncé are on a 22-day vegan journey to cleanse themselves of the deliciousness of animal byproducts. Three weeks without bacon, cheese and eggs sounds like absolute torture to me, but they’re all in and truly dedicating themselves to the cause. That’s why Beyoncé, glowing from her new-found luminous complexion which is clearly the results of eating only from the earth, headed out to Native Foods, a vegan restaurant in Hollywood, donning a fur coat. LOLLLLLLLL!

Who else do you know who would have the balls to go to a VEGAN RESTAURANT in a fucking fur coat? And don’t even try to tell me that she’s wearing faux fur. She’s Beyoncé, ya turkey. She doesn’t wear faux fur. This just screams hilariousness to me. 5 out of 5, would view again.

I guess even Beyoncé needs a break from it all sometimes, so she hightailed it down to Jamaica with her sister Solange and another friend for a little R&R – and a lot of selfie taking/posting. That’s right, Beyoncé wants you to know that she looks damn good in a bikini and that her life is way more fabulous than yours, and don’t you forget it.

So, what’s a holiday with Beyoncé like? Well, it’s all private jets and fancy villas and lounging on the beach. It’s a beautiful thing. Have a look at some of her snaps below and then look out your window at the rain and wind (if you’re in New York) and hate your life just slightly. (I kid!) I just hope this vacation prepped her for the difficulty of being a 22-day vegan.

Beyoncé and Jay Z are going to be vegans — well, for 22 days at least. Could you take the vegan challenge? Jay Z wants to because he’s turning 44 and wants to use it as an excuse to be healthy or some shit. He wrote on his blog:

On December 3rd, one day before my 44th birthday I will embark on a 22 Days challenge to go completely vegan, or as I prefer to call it, plant-based!! This all began a few months back when a good friend and vegan challenged me to embrace a “plant-based breakfast” every day. It was surprisingly easier on me than I thought…

Why now? There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!

So you can call it a spiritual and physical cleanse. I will post my progress…

Beyoncérecently released the DVD of her documentary Life Is But a Dream, and those who purchased it also got a free download of a new song called ‘God Made You Beautiful’. I feel like the latent Beyoncé stan in me should rise from the ashes and be all over this, but… it’s kinda shit. I guess it’s precious that it’s all about Blue Ivy and how the angels rejoiced when she was born and all that shit, but I just feel a bit bored. I feel like this song should be playing over the closing credits of an animated Disney film, and that’s not really what you want from your divas, is it?

I don’t know, maybe it needs another listen, but I could barely get through the first one. What do you think?

A Change.org petition was reportedly started Thursday by a fan named John Barry who wanted others to join him in rallying against the 32-year-old singer going to West and Kardashian’s big day. The petition entitled “Beyonce Cannot Attend Kim Kardahian’s Wedding” immediately sparked responses from Beyonce fans across the country.

“As you all know by now Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have sadly been in the news for their ‘engagement,’” the petition began.

Unapologetic, Barry candidly detailed the main reason the “Irreplaceable” singer should not go to their nuptials.
“Kim Kardashian and her disgusting family are known for their rise to fame for doing absolutely nothing,” it read. “Now we must do all in our power to stop Beyonce from attending the god forsaken (sic) wedding, since her husband Jay Z is BFFs with Kanye he probably (sic) wants both of them to go.”

Believe me when I tell you that I wanted to look at the photos from Beyoncé‘s 2014 calendar and think, “Oh shit, this is (Sasha) FIERCE!” but I just cannot. I’m not sure who devised the concept for these photos (most likely the Queen herself), but it’s all wrong. Every single shot is just… terrible. This is her first ever official calendar and was made by photographers Herring & Herring and the arts agency Schierke, but if it was gonna be this bad, she shoulda never had one to begin with.

The pseudo-sexy poses, the weird masculine “I can wear a hat and smoke a cigar while still showing a little bit of my tits” nonsense… none of it works and quite frankly, it comes off looking a little cheap. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the photo with the white draped dress was Mary J Blige! A big ole NOPE goes out to this whole thing.

Am I wrong here? Are these shots actually hot? Someone explain it to me!