Mom Tense About Drinking To Relax

Shortly after my first child was born, after putting him to bed at night, I`d have a glass or two of wine to relax.

Five hectic years and another child later, I am now up to four-sometimes five-glasses of wine each night to relax, seven nights a week. (I do not, however, drink during the day.)

Can this amount of alcohol damage my liver? Am I an alcoholic because I use alcohol to relax? I need to know.

``Mom`` in Cocoa, Fla.

Dear Mom: If you ``suspect`` that you have an alcohol problem, you have one. Some facts:

There are, to date, more than 2 million female alcoholics in the U.S.A., and their numbers are increasing at a faster rate than male alcoholics. Alcoholism usually starts later in life for women, but progresses much more quickly. Women are more likely than men to drink alone, hide their drinking and feel guilty and ashamed about it. Women suffer more alcohol-related depression, and are more likely to develop other kinds of chemical

dependencies-prescription drugs, for example.

According to the National Council on Alcoholism, nine out of 10 wives stay with alcoholic husbands, but only one husband in 10 will stay with an alcoholic wife.

Are you an alcoholic? Take this test:

1. Have you ever been absent or tardy from work because of drinking?

2. Do you drink to overcome shyness or to build your self-esteem?

3. Have you suffered financial difficulties because of your drinking?

4. Do you encourage others to drink because you don`t want to drink alone?

5. Has your job performance suffered because of your drinking?

6. Do you drink in the morning to get you going?

7. Do you drink alone?

8. Do you drink to forget your troubles?

9. Has your drinking caused a faulty memory?

10. Do you try to find ``reasons`` (or excuses) to have a drink?

If you have answered ``yes`` to three or more of these questions, you are either an alcoholic or are on your way to becoming one. So, now what do you do?

For openers, look up Alcoholics Anonymous in the telephone directory.

(It`s listed under ``A``.) Then attend a meeting at one of the chapters near you. There are no dues, and you need not identify yourself unless you want to.

If you need treatment, your local mental health professionals can help you choose among available community resources for expert, professional treatment. Or, write to: The NationalDear Abby: Would you please publish your address so readers can write to you? Some of the newspapers that run your column never run your address.