"How could you
justify doing something like this? Why is it your business?" So Tucker
Carlson asked me last
Wednesday on his television talk show. Why would the Citizens
for Legitimate Government (CLG), under the editorial management of
Lori Price, publish
the "DC Madam's" phone list? Why wouldn't my own sexual behavior also
be a topic of concern?

Our answer is that
the CLG is not appalled at the
immorality of visiting an escort or house of prostitution. As a liberal
news and activist organization, we generally couldnt care less about
the sexual proclivities of elected officials, unless such activities are
illegal or involve children. Anyone who has any familiarity with the CLG
would know that we are not sex moralists. Unlike many Republicans, we
are not about trying to legislate on the sexual behavior of consenting
adults. However, we have good solid information linking elected officials,
statesmen and other Republican operatives to prostitution. The list may
also link Democratic politicians to phone numbers. Our theory, however,
is that it is most likely the warmongers who are also the whoremongers.
The Republican Party, we believe, is very short on lovethat is why
they must resort to whores for sex and wars for kicks. So far, our theory
is holding up to the empirical evidence being unearthed by the activists
at the CLG and other sites.

Further, the case
in question involves a US Senator who allegedly committed a number of
crimes and a State
Department official who resigned when his name was uncovered from
the phone records. Other political operatives have also been recognized.
Need we remind the rightwing that soliciting the services of a prostitute
is illegal? One of the alleged criminals, David Vitter (R, La.), a US
Senator, ran on a platform of family values and the sanctity
of marriage. We believe such a platform is code language for anti-gay,
anti-gays-in-the-military, anti-abortion and anti-sexual-liberty policies
in general. During the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, Vitter claimed that Bill
Clinton should be impeached for moral turpitude. How ironic that Vitter,
who replaced Livingston (R, La.) after the latter was exposed by Hustlers
Larry Flint for an extramarital affair, should also be so exposed, this
one for sex with a prostitute! How ironic that both Livingston and Vitter
supported Clintons impeachment. How ironic that the party espousing
such views should be consistently riddled with sex scandals. Should we
remind the rightwing of its recent embarrassments? How doubly hypocritical
and ironic that said party should now claim that the sex lives of its
representatives, even when illegal, should be off-limits to public scrutiny!
The hypocrisy and bend-over double standard is mind-boggling for its incomprehensibility.
I am not happy that I ended up screaming at the smirking, snide, innocuously
sinister and impertinently preppy little punk, Tucker Carlson. But is
it any wonder, given his pretzel logic? What is more incomprehensible
is how such a completely inchoate interlocutor should end up with a national
television talk show.

The principal of
the Pamela Martin & Associates, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, has been charged
with criminal racketeering. If he committed one or more criminal acts,
Vitter should turn himself over to the investigating bodythe FBI
or the DC police, whichever is most appropriate. His resignation should
follow any conviction.

Now, lets
answer the question as to why we at the CLG are doing this. The answer
is simple: Our aims are strictly political. Why shouldnt they be?
While we want to underscore the contradictions between rightwing family
values and sanctity of marriage platforms, and the behavior
of officials espousing such views, we do so only because we want to destroy
the remaining political efficacy of our enemy. And why would we want to
destroy the remaining political efficacy of our enemy? Because we believe
that the views, policies and politics of that enemy are demonstrably anathema
to planetary human welfare and to the US Constitution. We are taking this
tactic simply because it may serve a greater good. And, unlike our enemies,
we are doing nothing illegal. Unlike our enemies, who committed the US
to an illegal war, we are doing nothing illegal. Unlike our enemies, who
violate human rights on a minute-by-minute basis, we are doing nothing
illegal. Unlike our enemies, who are responsible for the deaths of over
600,000 Iraqis, the displacement of another four million and the deaths
of over 3,500 US service people, we are doing nothing illegal or immoral.
Unlike our enemies, who prey on teenage pages, and patronize prostitutes,
we at the CLG are doing nothing illegal.

As the Bible says,
whatever is done in the dark will be revealed in the light. Or something
like that. We are the light. We are pointing our light into the dark.
Get ready to scatter, you moles and maggots!

Finally: Should
the sex lives of politicians be subject to public scrutiny? Ideally, the
answer is no. But we are living under far less than ideal political circumstances.
If we had our way, our views would be self-evidently clear to all concerned.
Anyone not utterly brainwashed by rightwing ideology would see the situation
without recourse to such tactics. However, since the Puritan ethic of
the rightwing apparently defies sense and rates infidelity and sexual
immorality above mass murder and planetary destruction on its all-time
sin list, we have resorted to the exposure of its representatives
sexual indiscretionsand will resort to any other legal means necessaryto
stop the destructive Republican-led juggernaut.

For our part, we
will continue to work on linking phone numbers to names and will let the
chips fall where they may. As I said above, I believe that our theorythat
warmongers are also the more likely whoremongerswill be validated.

And here’s a promise
to the media: during every one of my appearances on national television,
I will reveal another client of Pamela Martin & Associates. Let the games
begin!