what to do about him?

hi,im new here,and i just wanted some advice.
so i have this boyfriend,and we've been together for a year,and throughout the year,we talk about our future and if we have plans on being together after highschool and whatnot.well,everything was going great until recently. a few of his friends got into a car accident,and died,and he ignored me for a month and a half.and at the time i didnt know that anyone had died.i thought he was trying to break it off with me. he finally comes over and tells me,and says im sorry.blah blah.okay,fine,i forgave him cause he said he was just to sad to talk about it.i guess boys have a different way of taking out their anger/sadness.idk,

but everynow and again,he still ignores me! and it pisses me off. and its for a total different reason.like at the times i need him,he turns his fone off and goes out with friends,and i wont hear from him for days,and sometimes weeks. and it pisses me off. its like,okayy,i would never do this to you.wtf? and now,im just so angry about it i wanna dump him,but i know i coould never go on without him.like,i could find another guy--but once someone else got to know what im about,and stuff..they wouldnt like me at all. cause im all fucked up and what not.and suicide,and yeah.and my current boyfriend really saw pass that and helped me and stuff.but lately,i just get ignored,and he'll call me late on a school night and be like whats wrong? yeahh,3 days late...but ugh. and now,hes smoking,and he knows im allergic to smoke,and i hate it.ugh,i had to basically stop cutting for him.andd i rarely...RARELY ever do it.but yet,oh he gets to smoke all the fucking time.

idk what to do.idk,if i should try to leave,or if we should somehow work things out? idk...im just so full of anger.

This is probably easier said then done, but just ignore him and move on with your life. If he is still into you, he wil come back. Don't get yourself all fucked up over him as you don't know what his intentions are. Even though he has lost some mates who died, he can't treat you like this, find yourself someone else who appreciates you.