We hope you feel like line-dancing, because for this week’s installment
of Billboarding, we’re taking a look at the Hot Country Songs Top 10
for November 26, 2007. This may not be your grandpappy’s country music,
but there are still plenty of fiddles, banjos, and pedal steel guitars
to be heard (and, thank God, not a Bon Jovi song in sight). Crank ‘er
up!

1.
Carrie Underwood, “So
Small” (Arista Nashville)
She takes a lot of crap for not being “country” enough, but this song
– all swelling strings, over-the-top vocals, and greeting-card platitudes
– is about as country as country gets; you can imagine Dolly Parton
hearing this in 1981 and slitting a throat or two to get her rhinestone
gloves on it. It’s no wonder CMT played “So Small” 66 times in a row
a few weeks ago. That being said, we can’t remember a single note from
this song, and we just finished listening to it.

2. Kenny Chesney, “Don’t
Blink” (BNA)
The obvious gag here is easy – “don’t blink, or the next thing you know,
your celebrity circus marriage is annulled” – so we’ll give Kenny a
pass this time, even if the message behind this song has already been
recycled for at least half a dozen country Number Ones in the last 15
years. Those pedal steel guitars are oh so smooth, after all.

3. Garth Brooks, “More
Than a Memory” (Pearl)
It’s been a quiet decade for Garth Brooks, but the guy who almost single-handedly
revitalized Nashville’s commercial prospects proves here that no matter
how long he’s away, he’s still got juice at country radio – “More Than
a Memory” became the first-ever Number One debut on Billboard’s Hot
Country Songs chart in September. The boxed set it’s coming from, Ultimate
Hits, will be Brooks’ first self-released title since his Wal-Mart
exclusive expired – meaning that no matter how grim this Christmas season
turns out to be at retail, we know at least one country singer who’ll
be rolling in dough.

4.
Dierks Bentley, “Free
and Easy (Down the Road I Go)” (Capitol Nashville)
What the hell kind of name is Dierks, anyway? How is this guy not on
every no-fly list in America? And why does he sound like he just stepped
out of Frog Holler, Alabama? Well, whatever – this breezy, banjo-driven
ode to the unencumbered road life would have given Glenn Frey hives
of pleasure in 1976, and it’s doing the same to country fans everywhere
right now.

5. George Strait, “How
‘Bout Them Cowgirls” (MCA Nashville)
Only Elvis and the Beatles have more gold and platinum records than
George Strait, which is mildly shocking if you don’t pay attention to
the country charts – but here’s the thing about Strait: Even if you
haven’t tuned your dial to a country station since the summer of 1988,
you’ll instantly recognize his sound. In an era of country records heavy
on pop production (we’re looking at you, Rascal Flatts), Strait’s low
‘n’ easy songs sound the same as they ever did. There’s something comforting
about that, no?

6. Jason Michael Carroll, “Livin’
Our Love Song” (Arista Nashville)
Looking like a cross between Chad Kroeger and the Nelson brothers, Carroll
delivers this week’s Top 10 its requisite baby-I-love-ya tune with “Livin’
Our Love Song,” a tune so absolutely unremarkable in every way that
we aren’t completely convinced it actually exists. Even before it reaches
the chorus, you’ll swear you’ve heard this song before, and hated it.
Jon Bon Jovi probably wishes he’d written this, which should tell you
everything you need to know.

7.
Josh Turner, “Firecracker”
(MCA Nashville)
Turner’s vocals, and the song’s instrumental track, are flatter and
more mannered than anything else you’ll hear on this week’s countdown.
But the nod-and-a-wink filth of the lyrics – a continuous series of
double entendres based around the various noises emitted by the protagonist’s
female “firecracker” – help elevate what would otherwise be a very pedestrian
song. And really, this is still nothing that hasn’t been done before,
but Turner has a certain charm – and it doesn’t hurt that his baritone
dips into Isaac Hayes territory.

8. Clay Walker, “Fall”
(Asylum/Curb)
Yeah, it’s pretty damn hokey – but if you have any sort of weakness
for the country-ballad formula (and based on this song’s chart performance,
many of you do), you’ll “Fall” hook, line and sinker for this artfully
assembled paean to strong shoulderhood. You can practically hear the
boots shuffling around the dance floor at your local redneck bar, can’t
you?

9. Taylor Swift, “Our
Song” (Big Machine)
Well, hey, guess what? Turns out Taylor Swift is more than just a pretty
face after all. She wrote “Our Song” all by her lonesome, and it’s not
only her most charming single to date, it’s got a slender, denim-clad
leg up on most of the stuff on this week’s countdown. Does it stray
a little too far on the L.A. side of the modern country continuum? Absolutely,
but it’s clever, hooky, and sold to the hilt by Swift’s spry vocals.
Jessica Simpson’s in Nashville working on her next album, and you can
bet this is exactly what she hopes it’ll sound like. (It’s early, but
what the hell – we predict snake eyes on that roll, Jess.)

10.
Montgomery Gentry, “What
Do Ya Think About That” (Columbia)
In which Eddie "Ted Nugent" Montgomery and Troy Gentry position
themselves as the manlier alternatives to their wimpy new big-city neighbor
– without stopping to consider the fairly significant homoerotic implications
of two young, leather vest-wearing dudes who live together and chop
a lot of wood in the front yard. (Which is, naturally, where their Chevy
truck is parked. Nice product placement!)