Inventions for lazy bastards

Guaranteed pick up lines found these life enhancing, labour saving inventions. If you are tempted to buy any of these items, I have only one question for you. Who’s pressing the keys on your keyboard for you?

I love this, people will hardly notice my double chin and man titties…

Watch peoples faces when you secretly open a packet of these in an elevator.

And maybe if this is too much like hard work, why not just buy an audio version of the book and have a friend press play for you.

In the off chance you sometimes move around your house, why not wrap towels round your big fat bingo-wing arms and dust the house as you go.

Good for opening those ‘Dear John’ letters.

I’ve been in those ‘fancy dan’ restaurants where they turn their nose up when you ask for your pasta to be pureed so you can just pour it in, this thing really helps.