Story reveals romance of priest and woman who had a son together

An intriguing and tragic story in the New York Times on Friday by veteran religion reporter Laurie Goodstein is about a Catholic priest in Illinois who fathered a child as part of a romance with a female member of his church.

The relationship was kept secret for years but the woman and son now have cancer, which they cited in the story as reason to break her confidentiality agreement with the church. It has resulted in a rare glimpse into the inner workings of adult romances between priests and lay people.

Pat Bond says in the Times article that she fell in love with Father Henry Willenborg, who abused his status as a religious leader:

“It’s such a powerful thing because you think — and this is the illness of it, too — you are led to believe and you let yourself believe, that you are a chosen one. That you are so special,” she said, adding of the priest, “It’s not that they’re putting God aside, it’s that they’re bringing you up to their level.”

For much of their romance, Bond and Willenborg functioned much like a typical married couple would — just privately.

The story points out the struggles that Bond had later in getting financial and other help from Willenborg to raise their now 22-year-old son. Making matters worse is that the son and Bond have cancer.

I once wrote about Father Charles H. Miller, who had consenting romances with two adult women, according to an investigation by his religious order, Society of Mary.A former professor at St. Mary’s University, Miller was found by his order to have had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old woman.

These kind of relationships are more common than what is publicly admitted, the Times article points out. For proponents of priests being able to marry, such stories probably are par for the course despite the Catholic Church’s well-established policies on celibacy.