tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37520431023023985482019-03-15T22:50:09.958-07:00Karl reMarksMiddle East politics, culture and satire.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.comBlogger383125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-43514979655574759352017-06-26T04:45:00.001-07:002017-06-26T04:45:35.342-07:00Dear Britain, Congratulations on your independence. Here’s what happens next. –The Global South.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9C0UC44_gkk/WVDzyKxXowI/AAAAAAAACHc/jey3kmwtziMtQAAmTAhK6LI-QwVXnq7yQCLcBGAs/s1600/24F407B700000578-0-image-m-19_1421947704249.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="634" height="209" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9C0UC44_gkk/WVDzyKxXowI/AAAAAAAACHc/jey3kmwtziMtQAAmTAhK6LI-QwVXnq7yQCLcBGAs/s320/24F407B700000578-0-image-m-19_1421947704249.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">On the first anniversary of the Brexit vote, many in Britain are celebrating their ‘Independence Day’. We in the Global South have been through this before, after we achieved our independence from, er, mostly Britain. But we bear no grudges, so let’s start by saying hearty congratulations on your independence, we are very happy for you. In order to make your experience smoother, we will share some lessons and advice we have learned in the post-independence era. So here’s what comes next. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The English Channel <o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">The English Channel is one of the world’s busiest maritime trade routes and it’s extremely important for the trade movement of many countries in the Global South. Understandably, you will wish to take control of the English Channel as an exercise in sovereignty and to increase your national revenues to support post-independence economic development. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">While this may sound like a good idea, please be warned that countries like India and China will look unfavourably upon such a development. Should you attempt to hamper the trade routes or demand unreasonable fees for crossing it, China and India, perhaps with the aid of regional surrogates, will invade the Channel and take control of Dover and other important ports. If you refuse to comply with their demands, they will escalate military action. Your sovereignty is quite important to us, but we are sure that you appreciate that global trade is far more important.</div><a name='more'></a> <o:p></o:p><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The Expat Question<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Naturally as you achieve independence and look towards developing your society, you will start thinking of training the native population to do the jobs that they are currently under-qualified to do. This is a noble aspiration. However countries like India, Pakistan, Nigeria and Bangladesh have significant expat populations living in Britain and will feel displeasure at attempts to replace them with local doctors, teachers, accountants and scientists. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">We respect your right to seek the best for your people but you must understand that these countries will act to protect the privileges that their expats enjoy in Britain. &nbsp;The measures they will take will include economic, diplomatic and political pressure, trade sanctions and generous gifts to local politicians to guarantee their cooperation when it comes to these policies. Your independence is important to us, but obviously within limits. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Sovereignty and the Union<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sovereignty is a fundamental aspect of independence and we respect your right to exercise full sovereignty over the United Kingdom. We wouldn’t dream of interfering unnecessarily in your internal affairs. However, there are many secessionist movements within the United Kingdom and we would not like to see one national group dominate the others. As such we reserve the right to provide political and military support to these movements where convenient. Cynics might call this ‘divide and conquer’ but we are sure that you will understand the altruistic motives behind our support for, say, the Scots or the Welsh. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Political Stability <o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">In a similar vein, the political stability of Britain will be of utmost importance to us. You will no doubt experience the urge to take full control of your country’s resources and we are already seeing indications with Mr Corbyn of the tendency towards nationalisation. While we fully support your desire for autonomy, you will no doubt appreciate that countries like Qatar and Saudi Arabia will not be pleased to see their valuable investments, which were undertaken in good faith, being nationalised by naïve governments. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Don’t be surprised to see those governments take an active role in the management of your political system through donations and media support for political parties that take a more liberal attitude towards foreign investment. These governments will lend full support to moderates in Britain to prevent the rise of extremist political parties which will undermine investor confidence in your country. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The Occasional Coup d'état<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Should you prove to be intransigent and continue on your path of nationalist radicalism, major global south powers like India, China and Egypt will have no option but to correct the political mistakes that many newly-independent states are prone to making. It will be necessary under the circumstances to organise a Non-standard Democratic Transfer of Power Operation, lazily described by the unexperienced as a ‘coup d'état’. This will involve replacing a democratically-elected leader with a ‘strongman’ that is more sympathetic to the needs of the global community.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">You former allies in the United States and Europe are open-minded about such transfers of power, as they have demonstrated over the years, and will quickly recognise the new regime and provide it with political support. Nobody likes to see the temporary suspension of democratic procedures, but we have to recognise that the voters in newly independent states are likely to make mistakes. But that’s why the global community is there to hold your hand through this difficult process of transition to independence. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Economic Sanctions <o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">A newly-independent state is like a teenager in many ways and we all know that discipline is very important to the development of teenagers. Economic sanctions are the equivalent of grounding teenagers or taking away their pocket money. Should your behaviour in the post-independence era prove to be difficult or problematic, we might have to place you under economic sanctions. Don’t worry because these are for your own good. And, after all, we all know how proud you are of the Blitz Spirit. Think of it as an opportunity to bond as a nation, enjoying the social benefits that scarcity brings with it. &nbsp;&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Failed State <o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Despite your best intentions, we all recognise the difficulty of negotiating a successful post-independence path. As the old saying goes ‘half of all newly independent states fail within the first few decades’. But failure is not something to despair about, it’s part of the process of growing and learning. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">So at some point it’s likely that we will have to declare you a failed state. This will automatically trigger a number of procedures that you are probably familiar with by now. Firstly, we will organise some conferences in Mumbai, Dubai and Abuja with titles like ‘The UK in the Post-independence Period: Challenges, Opportunities and Solutions for a Failed State’. These conference will be attended by UK experts, there will be thousands of these within months of the first signs of trouble in Britain, who will work very hard to come up with ideas that will get invited to these conferences. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Secondly, columnists will start writing opinion pieces describing in 500 words how to solve all of the UK’s problems. They might spend as long as one full-day in Newcastle talking to ordinary people as research for their columns. They will generally advocate supporting youthful entrepreneurs to help create a better future for the UK. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Should these opinion columns and conferences prove ineffective, it will be necessary to invade Britain to bring about regime change. We will do this reluctantly and with a heavy heart, and later make films about how the experience of occupation scarred us, so don’t worry it will all be done in good taste. In time, we will write you a new constitution and organise elections, but until the situation is stable enough we will need a pragmatic local leader to appoint as a provisional ruler. We’re thinking of Tony Blair. <o:p></o:p></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s about it. Happy Independence Day from your friends in the global south.&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-59847450817731322582016-12-06T10:24:00.001-08:002016-12-06T10:24:10.739-08:00We interviewed Karl Marx about Trump and Brexit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IOa3F_K9kW4/WEcCIrFF-oI/AAAAAAAACEY/M0c31QOTS08E58omeo9KMLLMU7BlCSTqgCLcB/s1600/karl-marx-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IOa3F_K9kW4/WEcCIrFF-oI/AAAAAAAACEY/M0c31QOTS08E58omeo9KMLLMU7BlCSTqgCLcB/s320/karl-marx-me.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal">This week we had the privilege of interviewing the great revolutionary and philosopher Karl Marx about the phenomena of Trump, Brexit and the general state of capitalism today for our publication The Revolting Masses. As usual, Marx was enlightening and full of optimism about the future. Here is the interview. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">The Revolting Masses: Mr Marx, welcome. It’s an honour to talk to you. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Karl Marx: Thank you, but call me Karl.</div><a name='more'></a><o:p></o:p><br /><div class="MsoNormal">RM: First things first, historical materialism, is it still relevant today? Can it help explain our political situation?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Is this going to be one of those earnest articles in which you use my voice to give credibility to your own views? I find that style of writing cringe-worthy. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: No, we are genuinely interested in your views. How you would look at the world today, we want to see things through your eyes. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I have been dead for 133 years, what makes you think I would have anything relevant to say today? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: You were always alive for us. Your spirit is embodied within our thinking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Dear God. That’s like me interviewing Hegel. I thought this was going to be one of those clickbait articles in which you use my name to generate internet traffic, and make it funny and light. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: But you are more relevant than ever. There are t-shirts with your face on them and ‘I told you so’ written in big letters. They’re very popular. Even Wall Street types are reading your books. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I’ve been hearing this every few years since I died. Frankly it gets tiring. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: This time it’s different. Capitalism is at a dead-end. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Blablabla. Been there, heard that, <i>ad nauseam</i>. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Wow, you sound nothing like Karl Marx. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: People change. Also, let’s face it; this is your failure as the one who’s writing this piece. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Yes, but you could cooperate a bit. This article could make you reach a whole new generation of young people. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: You’re over-estimating the reach of your publication. This kind of earnest writing is not popular any more. Have you tried doing listicles? &nbsp;<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Well, there was that one time in which we tried to do a listicle of all the Hegelian constructs you turned upside down…&nbsp; <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Sounds thrilling. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Moving on. Do you think easy credit has allowed Western capitalism to buy time while shifting the centres of production to the east? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Now this I am interested in. I heard about credit cards, do you think I can obtain one? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: I am not sure it would be easy considering that you are dead. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Perhaps if we argued that my spirit is present today? My intellectual influence is alive and kicking? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: I don’t think the people at the bank would be impressed by that.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: You just said Wall Street types are reading my books. Could we perhaps contact one of them? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: To be honest with you, this is not how I saw this interview going. I didn’t expect to be helping Karl Marx get a credit card. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Do you think I wanted Stalin to build a police state in my name? Unexpected things happen. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: That’s more like the kind of stuff want to hear from you, young people would like to hear a clear condemnation of Stalinism from you. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: yeah, yeah. How about that credit card? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: It’s all done online now; I don’t think the forms can process a dead philosopher. I will look into it, but can you please tell us what you think about the phenomenon of Trump? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I missed the Russian revolution, two world wars, and the moon-landing, and you want to talk to me about Trump? How unimaginative are you people? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: But people are saying this is the end of the liberal order. This is a significant historical moment. You can help shed light on it for us. People want to understand 2016. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I am more interested in the Germany-France Euro 2016 game. If I were alive I would write a structural analysis of that game, you think Vice would be interested? Do they pay well? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: I feel that you are not taking this seriously. We are anxious about the rise of populism and the spectre of Fascism. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: You people are using history instrumentally to validate your own concerns and points of view.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: That is more like what we were hoping for. A condemnation of this a-historical trend that I could attribute to you so I wouldn’t be criticised for saying that by my liberal friends. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: You made me say that. I wouldn’t say it like that. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: I’m trying to my best here; do you think it’s easy to impersonate a grumpy old dead German philosopher? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Yeah, I never had to do that. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Really, sarcasm doesn’t suit you. We expect more from your wit. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Ja, ja. You vant me to speak like zis? Vould zis be more hilarious for your audience? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: really Karl, I don’t think the accent is necessary. This kind of thing hasn’t been funny since the 70s. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: You’re the one trying to revive a dead nineteenth century philosopher, and you can’t handle some 'Allo 'Allo! humour? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: I have to be honest with you; this is not how I saw this interview going at all. It was going to be a heartfelt cry for reviving the spirit of Marxism in this disorientated political moment. It’s a bit disappointing. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I think this type of article is outdated. You seriously need to look into listicles. Research the millennial market. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: You know we are going to be criticised for this. People will say there are minority thinkers who are not getting media exposure and here you are interviewing a dead white man. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Are you trying to draw me into a comment on class versus identity? I’m not going to be your mouthpiece on this. And I doubt you will get five people to read this, let alone complain about it. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: You are the most difficult historical figure I have ever had to interview. Next time I am sticking to pre-Enlightenment figures. What do you think of Piketty? Have you read his book?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Piketty is an imbecile. I ought to sue him for copyright infringement. Do you think someone would get away with doing a movie called Star Wars? Why is it ok for him to steal the title of my book?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: He had a subheading. ‘Capital in the Twenty-First Century’. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: It was in a very small font. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: He claims he never read you. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Likewise. What an idiot.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: That is a cheap shot at someone who’s quite valued today. I’m glad I thought of that exchange. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: I won’t agree to any of these interviews any more if I am not paid well for them. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Can you say something about Trump so we can at least justify the headline? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Every so often history has indigestion. Trump is the flatulence of history. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">RM: That sounds both deep and profane. Excellent point to end on. Karl Marx, it has been a pleasure. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">KM: Look at Buzzfeed, they are doing great work reaching out to the millennial market. Stop writing those articles, they are passé. <o:p></o:p></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal">RM: Can we take a selfie with you before we go?&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-62714546759897845292016-06-29T06:14:00.000-07:002016-12-06T10:24:49.795-08:00 A plan to rescue western democracy from the ignorant masses <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JdUEhaLjarw/V3PIh6LlKYI/AAAAAAAACDI/PlDyei_0eIQLK_sXHEm-E_jol4GZJFPQQCLcB/s1600/people-013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JdUEhaLjarw/V3PIh6LlKYI/AAAAAAAACDI/PlDyei_0eIQLK_sXHEm-E_jol4GZJFPQQCLcB/s320/people-013.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I was fascinated by this article in Foreign Policy arguing that <a href="http://foreignpolicy.com/2016/06/28/its-time-for-the-elites-to-rise-up-against-ignorant-masses-trump-2016-brexit">it’s time for the elites to rise up against the ignorant masses</a>. I thought to myself ‘yes! This is exactly what we need now.’ I am fed up with all this talk of democracy, listening to the voice of the people and respecting popular sentiments; all at the risk of paralysing Western societies. Let’s be honest about it, people are too stupid to understand what’s good for them and we, the elites, have a responsibility to guide them and, when they can’t be convinced, we need to find ways of making them listen to the voice of reason. But how?<br /><a name='more'></a> <br /><br />In my opinion, the West has drifted too much away from the spirit of democracy into a literal interpretation of democracy. Democracy can best be understood as a metaphor, not as a strict set of rules and principles. What use are principles to anyone if they are too rigid? We need a more malleable form of democracy that is less literal and more imaginative. One in which the gifted, skilled and intelligent people in our societies have a proportionally bigger say in major decisions. When you are ill, you don’t walk out and poll strangers on what’s wrong with you, you go to see a doctor. And this is exactly what we need in politics, skilled experts who know not voters trying to guess. <br /><br /><br />But can we enable and empower those experts to represent the true, non-literal spirit of democracy? We need to look everywhere across the world, as well as our own Western history, where such experiments in politics were carried out and learn and then apply those lessons. We have to be creative in developing democracy so it can operate in a way that allows a small, intelligent set of skilled people to navigate our countries towards the greater good. Enough of the stupidity of the masses and their dictatorial voting! So here’s my plan: <br /><br /><b>Selective Proportional Suffrage </b><br />Universal suffrage is at the root of our problems. Some people are better than others at certain things like sports or cooking, why should it be any different in politics? We need to find a way of translating this into electoral mechanisms that retain the spirit of democracy without jeopardising us with its unpredictability. We can adopt a coefficient system where the value of your vote is multiplied by a coefficient that is proportional to your intelligence and understanding of politics. For example, if you’re a smart, successful, liberal professional, your vote gets multiplied by 10. If you’re a poor, stupid, unemployed person, it gets multiplied by 0.1. This will immediately level the playing field, ensuring favourable outcomes. <br /><b><br />Discretionary Judicial Creativity </b><br />Even with such a system of proportional suffrage, the results might be inconvenient sometimes. Also, we can control voters but we also need to control candidates. After all, the wrong kind of candidate can pull a surprise victory, creating extreme inconvenience. Here, we need to learn from places like Iran and Egypt that follow a careful selection process of candidates, ensuring that only the most capable can run in elections. <br /><br />This process should be controlled by capable judicial bodies that understand the greater good and can protect the people from themselves. Candidates would be screened carefully by judicial panels applying creativity in the interpretation of the law. Only the most worthy would be let through, avoiding any surprises in election outcomes. But should the result prove undesirable, here again judicial discretion can be utilised to nullify or alter the result by creatively interpreting the criteria. <br /><br /><b>Loyalty Building Measures</b><br />At the moment, elite representatives have a problem in ensuring voter loyalty should their electoral promises not be fulfilled due to inconvenient externalities like the economy. The clear solution to this is enabling members of parliament through allocated budgets allowing them to create financial incentive packages to help build loyalty among the voters. These packages would be distributed among the voters to help direct them towards the right electoral choice, using the power of financial incentives positively. Voters that make wrong choices in elections would be deprived of those FIPs, creating both positive and negative nudge factors to make the right choices. <br /><br /><b>Flexible Accountability Systems</b><br />One of the biggest problems facing democracies is the inability of enlightened elites in power to carry out effective policy without regularly being challenged on every decision they make by oversight committees and parliamentary bodies. Ministers, Prime Ministers and Presidents should have more power to sidestep these hurdles created by inflexible ‘democratic’ institutions. Under a flexible accountability system, the executive branch would have more power to implement policy in a less restrained manner, that is not subject to the whims of the public and their elected representative. (See more on this in the final point.)<br /><br /><b>Rationed Freedom of the Press</b><br />Freedom of the press is of course a great thing that must be celebrated. However, freedom of the press is like a precious resource: the more we use it the more it is depleted. This is why democracies have to extremely measured and ration the freedom of the press, ensuring it is used for its correct purpose: enlightening the electorate. <br /><br />Here, the role of the information minister has been deployed successfully around the world to control this freedom in a constructive manner, and it’s truly sad that many Western democracies don’t have such a position. Establishing this role would create a guardian of truth that would ensure newspapers and the media are held accountable and can only offer verified versions of the truth, avoiding the massive amount of lies and deception spread by the Mainstream Media today. <br /><br /><b>Pyramidal Power Structure</b><br />Western democracies today suffer from diluted power and flat organisational structures that are very damaging. Here, the concept of a pyramidal power structure seems very appealing. The idea is that the extent of power increases incrementally up the executive pyramid, ensuring power is concentrated among the <i>crème de la crème</i>. In presidential systems, this means most power would be given to the president, creating a benign elite figure that can stir the democratic ship wisely without undue pressure from below. Under such system, we believe the ‘figure-head’, the true spirit of democracy and elite leadership, should be celebrated in public and granted a durability of rule that rises above changing fads in politics that might threaten stability and continuity. <br /><br />This ‘figure-head’ has resonance in many cultures around the world as well as a rich European heritage. Totemic celebrations of this figure through public portraits and statues should be encouraged, as well as by naming public buildings after them. Over time, this will create loyalty and respect among the masses and a sense of durability and continuity. <br /><br />Today, we risk a lot by continuing with business as usual, allowing our democracies to be eroded by the mob and the ignorant masses who threaten the elites’ ability to rule properly in the true spirit of non-literal democracy. Things must change. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-11545957171359338972016-06-22T09:17:00.001-07:002016-09-07T03:27:20.628-07:00How would we report the EU referendum if it were happening in the Middle East?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-exIhFDpD4aI/V2q58c81dAI/AAAAAAAACC4/lcNRGN7DZYkMo4aYy97L_1jX4XyEbNXRwCLcB/s1600/cropped-bloglogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-exIhFDpD4aI/V2q58c81dAI/AAAAAAAACC4/lcNRGN7DZYkMo4aYy97L_1jX4XyEbNXRwCLcB/s400/cropped-bloglogo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div>London, Britain. June 2016.&nbsp;</div><br />You can learn everything you need to know about the EU referendum in the United Kingdom by talking to just two people in London. The taxi driver and the millennial entrepreneur type person. They’ve never met, the taxi driver doesn’t hang out in trendy places and the millennial entrepreneur type person uses Uber instead of traditional London cabs, but by talking to each for ten minutes I gathered enough quotes to allow me to write knowledgeably about this debate that has inflamed passions on this small island. <br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />The taxi driver, John, I will call him John because I forgot to ask him his name and he looked like a John to me, was disenfranchised with modern politics. He didn’t use the word disenfranchised but I felt it would work better for my sophisticated cosmopolitan audience. He was angry about something he called the ’24-country format in the Euros’, a clear indictment of the remote machinations of European bureaucrats and their detachment from common people. <br /><br />John was ranting about ‘Roy tinkering with the system’, a common phrase in the local ‘cockney’ dialect which denotes discontent with the opaqueness of modern European politics, particularly in the post Treaty of Rome context. While I am personally a big fan of the European Union and its achievements, it looks good if I point out in a condescending way that I do genuinely understand why the working class are dissatisfied with it. <br /><br />But, and there’s always a but after those declarations of sympathy for the concerns of the lower classes, as well as a question: isn’t that more a symptom of the inability of politicians to explain to the simple folk why the EU is good for them? <br /><br />In fact, trying to understand attitudes to the EU referendum through the prism of class is misleading. As most commentators here would tell you, class has nothing to do with it and, in fact, class has never played an important role in British politics or society historically. Most people don’t even know which class they’re in and many can be members of the higher and lower classes simultaneously, such as Lord Alan Sugar the world-famous working class millionaire. <br /><br />This fluidity in class identity, however, contrasts sharply with the fierce ethnic rivalry within this ancient kingdom. The Norman conquest of England in the 11th century left deep scars and created divisions between the Norman invaders and the local Anglo-Saxon population that continue to this day. The persistence of legends like Robin Hood and Ivanhoe, describing native Anglo-Saxon resistance to the Normans, attests to this fact. When Anglo-Saxons in Britain today look at the EU, they don’t see a modern political union but the lingering face of Norman occupation. <br /><br />The persistence of this ancient Norman/Anglo-Saxon rivalry in modern-day Britain manifests itself most fiercely today in the realm of soccerball, which is a local sport played on grass fields. The local championship is followed by millions of zealous fans who support their teams religiously. It is dominated by Anglo-Saxon teams like Manchester United, Liverpool and Newcastle and Norman clubs Chelsea, Tottenham Spurs and, above all, Arsenal. <br /><br />Arsenal has won many trophies over the years but nothing really important over the last decade or so. The club however continues to be universally loathed by Anglo-Saxon fans, not least because of its long-time French (the modern word for Norman) manager Arsène Wenger and the large number of French players who have played for the club over the years. It is also hated for its slick, irritating style of football, which betrays a quintessentially Norman form of nihilism. This style contrasts with the more muscular and intense Anglo-Saxon approach to the game which shuns all aesthetic considerations. <br /><br />Unsurprisingly, Wenger is a vocal supporter of the Remain campaign and Britain’s continuing membership of the EU. In fact, many of the leaders of the Remain camp are of Norman origin, while most of the leaders of the Leave campaign are Anglo-Saxon. The notable exception is Nigel Farage, a politician of Norman extraction who argues that Normans and Anglo-Saxons should put their differences aside and focus on antagonising foreigners instead. Farage has been shunned by the Norman community for this public betrayal, but he has managed to build support among Anglo-Saxons, although not enough to get elected into parliament. <br /><br />Farage endeared himself to Anglo-Saxons by publicly drinking beer, a habit which is frowned upon by the Normans who prefer wine and coffee. This fundamental dividing line within British culture has been overlooked by commentators in the referendum debate, but it represents an important symbolic schism. I wanted to find out more, so I decided to go talk to Matteo, the millennial entrepreneur type person. <br /><br />Matteo runs what is known as a ‘hipster coffee cart’, but he’s much more than just a coffee seller. Matteo is passionate about his personal philosophy, which revolves around overcharging customers for artisanal products. He is part of a new breed of activist/entrepreneur in the UK ‘redefining the post-mass production consumer landscape’. And, as you can guess from his Latinised name, Matteo is a Norman. <br /><br />Matteo believes that the UK should stay in the European Union, claiming that he feels more European than English. He cited many great things the EU has achieved, like giving women and minorities the vote, introducing Saturdays (which are his busiest business days), and abolishing slavery. He particularly liked travelling around Europe, talking to like-minded people about their shared passion for overpriced artisanal products, and he feared he would lose this freedom if Britain left the EU. <br /><br />As I left, I felt sad because the worlds of Matteo and John are so far apart. It is tragic that events that happened a thousand years ago should continue to separate British people from each other and impact on the relationship of the country to Europe, with which it has historically had many good wars. Tomorrow as British people vote to remain in or leave the EU, the biggest driver will be this ancient ethnic schism between Normans and Anglo-Saxons. The majority might decide to leave the European Union, but they will still have to live with each other. And it’s something they shouldn’t forget.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-83303008542616045662015-11-24T02:34:00.002-08:002015-11-24T02:34:29.208-08:00The Torn Identity: A Tale of Hollywood and Beirut <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aj9Egy38QtA/VlQ9EPnYuiI/AAAAAAAACCY/WMuU_2b2usk/s1600/bourne-ult-jason-bourne-687970570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aj9Egy38QtA/VlQ9EPnYuiI/AAAAAAAACCY/WMuU_2b2usk/s320/bourne-ult-jason-bourne-687970570.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />From Roger Moore in The Man with the Golden Gun encountering a belly dancer in an ‘exotic’ Orientalist nightclub to Chuck Norris storming through civil war Beirut to rescue American hostages, Hollywood has had a tortured relationship with Beirut. Its depictions of the capital have almost always been widely inaccurate, distorting the geography and character of the city. But this is about to change with the upcoming release of a major Hollywood production set in Beirut, The Torn Identity. <br /><br />The Torn Identity promises a more honest and authentic representation of Beirut and the lives of its inhabitants, in a spy action film that will reportedly star Matt Damon in the lead role of Jason Torn. Gone are all the Orientalist clichés and lazy depictions of a lawless war-torn city, instead The Torn Identity will present a realistic depiction of the vibrant metropolis, enlivened by tastefully- done action scenes. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />The film opens with the lead character waking up on the sea shore only to realize that he is suffering from memory loss. He discovers that he is fluent in several languages, and often uses three different ones in the same sentence, but he cannot remember anything about who he is. From here on, the film becomes a tale of one man’s quest to discover his identity, in an echo with Beirut’s contemporary obsession with its own identity. <br /><br />Jason Torn’s only clue is a tattoo on his left arm that depicts a cedar tree over the map of Lebanon with the number 10452 in the center. For a while, he assumes that this number refers to the land area of Lebanon in square kilometers, until he realizes it could be a phone number and tries calling it. A cryptic-sounding voice answers, asking him what he had for dinner last night. The question triggers something in his memory and he finds himself replying ‘hummus’, although even though he actually had a falafel sandwich with extra tarator sauce. The voice tells Torn to go to a bank in downtown Beirut and ask for his deposit box. (NB: The bank is yet unnamed, if you are interested in featuring your bank in the movie, please contact the producers.)<br /><br />On arriving at the bank, Torn is recognized by the manager, a portly man in an Armani suit wearing a gold Rolex, who greets him. “Bonjour, Mr. Torn. Kifak? We have not seen you for a long time. I assume you’re here for the deposit box?” After negotiating his way through a long conversation about the ski season and the latest restaurant in town, Torn is led to his safe deposit box, where he retrieves a suitcase. <br /><br />What he finds inside the suitcase throws him into shock, as the viewer will be able to tell from the alarmed expression on Torn’s face and the trademark grimace that only Mr. Matt Damon can convey so convincingly. Inside are several Lebanese identity cards, all with Torn’s picture but with a different name and religious sect on each. On one he is the Maronite, Tony Shalhoub. On another, the Sunni, Ahmad Itani and on a third, the Shia, Hassan Hamieh. (NB: This is highly unusual for Lebanon, as most TV series and films give neutral names to actors, like Ziad Adel or Samir Ra’ed, that don’t have any religious or sectarian connotation. )<br /><br />In total, Torn finds 18 different identity cards, each with a different name, sect and place of birth. The discovery exacerbates his identity crisis and he is traumatized by his finds. He decides to do one of those inevitable shower scenes that are used to convey angst and loneliness, where the actor leans his head on the wall and allows the water to run down his body or sometimes sits on the floor in a gesture of resignation. Torn strips off and enters the shower cubicle, only to realize that there is no water. <br /><br />He snaps at this discovery. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he goes out onto the balcony and starts shouting at his ground floor neighbor, Um Ali, accusing her of using all the building’s water. He vents his anger at her son, Ali, who regularly uses up the building’s water washing his car, with no consideration to for the other residents. (NB: This will be one of the most intense scenes in the movie, neatly capturing the tensions of everyday life in Beirut in a nuanced way. )<br /><br />Torn’s clash with Ali escalates when the latter confronts him and alleges that he is politically-connected., Trying to intimidate the frustrated Torn, Ali waves a gun in his face screaming “Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?” Torn briefly considers replying in kind but then he remembers that he himself doesn’t know who he is. With a series of rapid movements, he disarms Ali and leaves him writhing on the ground after punching him several times. To his amazement, Torn realizes he’s a martial arts expert but somehow, he still has no clue what his real identity is. <br /><br />Amongst the other things that Torn discovered in the suitcase were a handgun equipped with a silencer, several credit cards, cash in various currencies, electronic equipment and a membership card at Lebanon’s prestigious club, ATCL. (NB: It is a large suitcase.) This makes Torn think that he is some kind of spy or undercover operative but this being Lebanon, the suspicion doesn’t narrow his search, as he could be anything from an Israeli spy to a Syrian mukhabarat or a member of one of Lebanon’s multiple security agencies. <br /><br />Torn decides to do some research online to see if he can find out more. He goes on Google (NB: or another search engine willing to pay for product placement in this blockbuster), and types in his name. Google (NB: or Bing, if Microsoft is willing to pay, and let’s face it they need the publicity), returns a number of matching results in his name, but most of them seem to be about some upcoming movie called ‘The Torn Identity’. One stands out, an article on an American website. Torn clicks on it, but Lebanon’s notoriously slow internet frustrates him yet again as the page refuses to load. He swears at his neighbor George, who must be watching porn and using up all the building’s bandwidth. <br /><br />Torn then decides to visit the Important Information Security Branch because he remembers that one of his ID cards shows him to be an officer there. On arriving at the headquarters, he is recognized by some officers and they start chasing him through the streets of Beirut. Torn stops a car and drags out the driver, hoping to start an exciting car chase scene. But he has forgotten that this is Beirut and traffic is blocked for miles. The security officers are in a car just behind him. After twenty minutes or so of waiting, Torn and the officers get become frustrated and decided to do the chase scene on foot instead. <br /><br />We’re in a crowded urban neighborhood but suddenly, the chase moves to another part of Beirut and, we are not quite sure how, but Torn is being chased by the officers along the Corniche. This allows the camera to show the beautiful sea front and the residential towers behind. Our hero then passes in front of the marina, with the expensive yachts, which is edited to make Beirut look like Monaco. Moments later, he is racing through a poor seafront neighborhood, and it becomes apparent that this thrilling action sequence is also a social critique of contradiction and inequality in Beirut. <br /><br />Cleverly, Torn evades his chasers and makes his way back in to his apartment. He finds that there is no electricity so he lights a water pipe and sits on the balcony smoking and thinking. To his surprise, he discovers that he can do several Lebanese accents convincingly, from a Tripoli clothes merchant to an Armenian photographer, furthering his sense of disorientation about his identity. Frustrated again by the futility of his search, he decides to go out, as it is almost midnight, and besides, it’s a great opportunity to showcase Beirut’s fantastic nightlife. <br /><br />Predictably, Torn meets a woman called Randa, at one of the bars he visits in Mar Mikhayel, and he enlists her help in his quest to discover his identity. Surprisingly, Randa has her own secrets and the story unfolds over the next sixty minutes, in scenes of joy, surprise and laughter, which build to the eventual moment of recrimination. “You think you are the only one looking for himself? Lek hawn, ya aiyni! Everyone here is looking for themselves!” Randa shouts at Torn as the contradictions of their crossed paths reach a climax. This is a deeply moving and symbolic moment in the movie and to get to this crisis point, Torn has to beat up a number of people along the way, including some valet guy who steals his parking spot outside Mandaloon. <br /><br /> <br /><br />By the end of the film, Torn has discovered just enough about his real identity to satisfy the audience but some revelations will only be hinted at, in anticipation of the two or three sequels that will follow. Torn and Randa’s relationship has become romantic in nature, because Beirut is modern that way. The film ends with a beauty shot of them eating bouza on the Corniche, as the camera pans away to the snow-covered mountains in the distance.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-81835793554402577022015-05-18T05:45:00.000-07:002015-05-18T05:46:24.443-07:00Meet Haifa Wehbe, Lebanon’s Foremost Conceptual Art Group <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fnqNK_25KUI/VVneC0kHXeI/AAAAAAAACB8/aASKnXFuOLA/s1600/c0fa1e-1208809021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fnqNK_25KUI/VVneC0kHXeI/AAAAAAAACB8/aASKnXFuOLA/s320/c0fa1e-1208809021.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>For outsiders, Lebanon is known for its excellent food and lively night scene and, less fortunately, for its recent turbulent history. Much less known however is the country’s passion for conceptual art which borders on the obsessive. Conceptual art groups are household names in Lebanon and they are treated like celebrities in this small country. Little is known of this phenomenon outside the country due to the Lebanese reluctance to advertise or promote themselves or their culture abroad. As a result, the thriving conceptual art scene has escaped the attention of international media. <br /><br />The uncontested queen of the conceptual art scene in Lebanon is Haifa Wehbe, a pseudonym for a collective made up of 32 artists who alternate in playing the role of ‘Haifa’, seemingly a seductive pop singer but in reality an elaborate artistic project that was started nearly two decades ago. ‘Haifa’ has spawned many imitators over the years, which is a testament to the group’s success and popularity. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />Few people outside Lebanon get ‘Haifa’, which has been widely ridiculed for being a trashy pop star with little musical talent, by people who completely missed the point of this savage critique of neoliberalism and the social ills of late capitalism. The elaborate ruse has fooled millions of people over the years, as they failed to understand the subtle appropriation of capitalist paraphernalia in order to undermine its hegemony over public discourse. <br /><br />The ‘in-joke’ about Haifa’s identity was blatantly mocked in her song ‘Ana Haifa’ (I am Haifa), in which she repeats over and over ‘Ana Haifa, Ana Haifa, Ana Haifa’, as if by the mere act of repetition she seeks to confirm her real existence. The song in reality serves as a brutal critique of how female identity is shaped in the global south under neoliberalism, as a procedural reproduction of orientalist fantasies about desirable Arab women. <br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wFGFOx5ePRI" width="420"></iframe> <br />Another classic ‘Haifa’ artwork is ‘Boos el Wawa’,(Kiss the Owie) seemingly a pop song performed by a coquettish woman in the Egyptian dialect, the collective attacked head on the monopolistic nature of global pharmaceutical companies and the use of traditional medicine as a form of economic resistance. The lyrics, ‘kiss the owie and make it heal’, shocked many into confronting this grim reality of modern life. Boos el Wawa, boos el wawa, boos el wawa, become an anthem for a generation of radical Lebanese anti-capitalist youth.<br /><br />&nbsp;In ‘Baba Feen’ the collective took a stylistic leap that nearly gave away the subtext because of its blatant parodic nature but few people outside Lebanon saw through the pretence. The ‘song’, a mock Disney-style fairy tale, is a sprawling mini-operetta satirising commodification and the conservative bourgeois foundations of the nuclear family. The ‘son’ in the video clip, in reality a professor of sociology in the Lebanese university, asks incessantly ‘baba feen, baba feen’ (where is daddy, where is daddy), in a heart-wrenching cry that expresses yearning for a simpler age. <br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HfJYbvMAU0E" width="420"></iframe> <br />In the group’s latest work, ‘Haifa’ is in a relationship with an astronaut who gets into an accident while trying to fix the satellite dish on a space station so he can watch the Champions League final. As the astronaut drifts helplessly into space, ‘Haifa’ performs a mystical rite under a charred tree repeating a chant whose purpose will eventually become apparent. The moving lyrics repeat over and over:<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_ZqEM_4dYWU" width="420"></iframe><br />‘Breathing you in, breathing you in, breathing you in, breathing you in, in, in, in, innnnnnnnn.’ The ‘song’ which is performed intentionally in English, is full of metaphors for the Earth and how in reality it is holding women captive. It then becomes apparent that Haifa’s chant aims to free her from gravity, which ‘she’ eventually succeeds in doing and rescues her lover. The inversion of the traditional gender roles in Hollywood’s conventional representations was revolutionary. Not only has a woman broken the chains of nature, she has become the saviour of her helpless and pathetically handsome companion. <br /><br />‘Haifa’s’ success over the years has spawned many imitators such as Nancy, Elissa and Yara, representing different school of conceptual art and various shades of radical politics, but Haifa’s supremacy is yet to be seriously challenged by the younger generation. One thing is for certain however, Lebanon’s obsession with conceptual art will continue for the foreseeable future. Over the past few months even Lebanese MPs have created their own conceptual art project by meeting every couple of weeks and ‘failing’ to elect a president for the country. They have been so successful that all international media outlets have been fooled by this performance art spectacle. Whatever you think about it, the country deserves recognition for this unique appreciation of conceptual art. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-85918013705692647612015-05-13T05:34:00.001-07:002015-05-13T06:54:03.997-07:00A Valuable Guide to British Values <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8RJK5JIjfek/VVNEubKhbjI/AAAAAAAACBo/zEeA8lveXYI/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8RJK5JIjfek/VVNEubKhbjI/AAAAAAAACBo/zEeA8lveXYI/s320/image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The newly-elected British government has announced plans to combat extremism by promoting British values. In the words of Home Secretary Theresa May: ‘What we’re talking about is the key values that underline our society and are being undermined by the extremists.’ Well, aside from the fact that she should have said 'are' instead of 'is', I am completely in agreement with her. We must not allow extremists to undermine our British values. <br /><br />What are British values though? I have a compiled a useful explainer about the core British values and identified the ways in which dastardly extremists are trying to undermine those cherished pillars of British culture. This also doubles up as a guide to tourists to minimise friction during your stay here. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />Queuing<br /><br />Queuing is the uncontested core British value, exemplified by the saying: ‘if you don’t have to queue for it, it’s not worth it.’ The ability to form an orderly queue is prized above all else in British culture, and British people derive great pleasure from standing in line for a significant amount of time. In fact, the lines on the British flag represent neat queues of people waiting to buy concert tickets. <br /><br />Extremists have for long sought to undermine this core British value by saying things like: ‘why don’t you come back later when it’s not so busy’ or ‘why don’t you buy it online instead?’ It’s this dangerous thinking that the government wants to tackle head on before it erodes a beautiful British value that exemplifies the soul of the nation. <br /><br />Tutting<br /><br />A distinguishing mark of civilisation is not expressing your feelings explicitly when you’re annoyed about something. That might work for Italians and Americans but Britain is built on the value of passive aggressiveness and its manifestation in the form of tutting. Nothing delights British folks more than tutting about a perceived offence, like spelling offence with an s. <br /><br />There is a wide range of situations in which tutting could be employed, such as someone playing music loudly on their earphones next to you on public transport. A decent British person can derive great pleasure from tutting in protest even though the other person can’t hear them. If the situation calls for an aggressive head turn because the person is behind you, the joy increases exponentially. You want to turn your head violently and look back at the other person contemptuously, then turn back and tut to yourself. <br /><br />Here again extremists have been disrupting the British way of life by outrageously suggesting things like ‘why don’t you just ask them to lower the volume?’ or ‘why don’t you just move away from them?’ This form of radicalism should be punished by a jail term, and thanks to the Home Secretary it will soon be. <br /><br />Tutting about queuing <br /><br />Tutting about queuing is the holy grail of tutting. Nothing pleases British people more than tutting about how long it is taking the queue to move, how close the person behind you is standing, how far the person ahead of you is standing away from the person in front of them, etc, etc. But this should be distinguished from ‘having a good moan about it’, which is an entirely different category to tutting. <br /><br />If, God forbid, someone were to attempt to cut the queue even for a legitimate reason, tutting levels would rise sharply and some British people will actually squeal with delight at their good fortunes. In fact, the wave of tutting discontent that sweeps across the queue is not unlike an orgasm. <br /><br />Once again extremists have been trying to rob honest British people of these small joys of life with unhelpful suggestions like: ‘it’s ok, they have a sick child, they can go first’ or ‘relax man’. Such barbaric behaviour is inexcusable. <br /><br />Saying sorry <br /><br />When a British person is really angry, absolutely livid, seething with rage, they will express their feelings by saying sorry. Not so much saying as shooting the word sorry across like a bullet at the other person. In fact, the army has for years been trying to utilise the British sorry as a military projectile. <br /><br />The word sorry can be used in a variety of situations, but in none of them it does actually mean sorry. It can mean ‘get out of way you idiot’, it can mean ‘I am so pleased that you are disappointed’ and it can mean ‘how dare you suggest that?’ But its ultimate use, the way in which it fulfils its destiny, is when it means ‘GRRHHHH@@###!!!’. <br /><br />Once again, foreign bearded preachers have been trying to undermine British values with radical suggestions like ‘learn to express yourself’ and ‘being passive aggressive is not good for your health’. Sorry? SORRY?! SORRRRYYYYYY????!!!!!!! Lock’em up. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-39629920715255946662015-05-06T10:49:00.001-07:002015-05-06T10:49:14.284-07:00Cities are intentionally ruining themselves to appeal to hipsters <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NtrQ4SuHtzY/VUpTenj9hnI/AAAAAAAACBU/m4mkL1ibGnc/s1600/sheung-wan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NtrQ4SuHtzY/VUpTenj9hnI/AAAAAAAACBU/m4mkL1ibGnc/s1600/sheung-wan.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>The city of Rotterdam in the Netherlands recently started rationing water despite having enough water supplies. Seattle in the US has intentionally made its public transport slower because it was running too efficiently, and commissioned artists to spray graffiti on trains and in stations to make them look shabbier. The city of Wuhu in China demolished a recently-completed flashy district and commissioned a replica of a 19th century run-down East London district, complete with dysfunctional postal service and temperamental telephone lines. And the list goes on. So what exactly is happening? <br /><br />You won’t read about this in any urban planning magazines, but this is the latest trend to emerge in city management and development circles. Mayors around the world are discovering that flashy, modern and functioning cities are just too boring and they are failing to attract the core hipster labour force required for a modern city to function. Keen observes have noted that hipsters, the fastest growing demographic in the world, don’t like living in comfortable surroundings and they much prefer to live in run-down areas that feel more authentic. <a name='more'></a><br /><br />To cater to this demand, cities from North America to the Far East have started intentionally ruining their infrastructure, buildings and services in order to make themselves more attractive to twenty and thirty-something creative sector workers. Hungary’s capital Budapest, which is keen to promote itself as a technology hub, has hired people to dig potholes in its streets which were deemed too pristine by the hipster tech workers it was seeking to attract. There are many ways to achieve the correct feel that will appeal to the contemporary hipster, but the competition is fierce. <br /><br />This demand has led to the emergence of consultancies that advise cities on the best way to achieve a run-down feel. John Parset, from Hip Cities Inc, which is based in the Shoreditch area in London talked to us about the experience of his small outlet. (He prefers not to use the word ‘firm’.) “What works in Prague will not work in Bangalore. We tailor our approach to each city, advising them on the right way to achieve the authentic look and feel. You can’t just start spray painting walls and cutting the electricity at random, the whole thing needs to have a conceptual consistency.”<br /><br />Parset’s team are not only about creativity however, financial considerations are always important and the designers are keen to work within the tight financial constraints. “It’s rare that we get the opportunity to demolish an entire new neighbourhood and replace it with a replica run-down authentic working class district from Istanbul. Those types of commissions are possible only in countries like China. In Europe, we have to use resources more carefully, sabotaging escalators and lifts here, hiring people to spread rubbish around the streets carefully for maximum effect, and making sure public transport doesn’t run smoothly and make everyone feel unnecessarily not inconvenienced.”<br /><br />Some cities go further than others however and the ideas are getting more extreme with competition. Bern in Switzerland recently hired actors to pretend to be shady characters and make passers-by feel uncomfortable and thrilled to live in a dodgy area simultaneously. City authorities took the parallel step of withdrawing police from the streets for added effect, and the experiment has been incredibly successful. Hipsters are now flocking to live in Bern, attracted by the prospect of rubbing shoulders with ‘authentic lowlifes’. <br /><br />The trend is going stronger and stronger, designers like Parset can’t cope with requests from clients and this had led to a boom in the sector. What ideas can we expect next? Parset describes plans to use bulldozers to ‘rough-up’ buildings, demolishing parts of them in a Dubai neighbourhood and setting others on fire. The neatly-trimmed laws will be all gone, and his team is hiring trained dogs to defecate on the pavements. The city will also install genuine broken telephone boxes imported from Europe, and a team of graphic designers is working on seedy leaflets to be left there. <br /><br />Is there a particular city that clients are interested in borrowing from more than the others? ‘Beirut, without a doubt’, Parset replies. Lebanon’s capital, which has experienced severe turmoil over the past few decades and where almost nothing works properly, is the ideal city according to him. ‘We get a lot of requests to copy the look and feel of Beirut, the bullet holes are particularly sought after.’ Sadly however, the construction boom in Beirut means many old buildings are being destroyed and new ones being built, and the city is losing its authentic feel. <br /><br />But there is hope. ‘We have recently been contacted by a developer from Beirut who wants to recreate a Beirut replica in Beirut itself. They realised the modern development they built wasn’t inspiring, so they want to demolish it and recreate a civil war era Beirut neighbourhood in its place. We’re very excited about this project.’ Old is the new new. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-46295599683512999362015-05-05T08:28:00.001-07:002015-05-05T08:42:13.777-07:00Making it up as we go: Understanding British Democracy <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-86UmuPTd5FI/VUjhnhpkaBI/AAAAAAAACBA/PGWj1Au9fdk/s1600/British_Houses_of_Parliament.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-86UmuPTd5FI/VUjhnhpkaBI/AAAAAAAACBA/PGWj1Au9fdk/s1600/British_Houses_of_Parliament.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>The British parliamentary elections are due to take place in two days, surrounded by an air of uncertainty and the prospect of multiple non-definitive outcomes. What compounds the matter more is that very few people outside the UK genuinely understand how British democracy works. Indeed, very few people inside the UK understand how it works. <br /><br />Having lived in the UK for over a decade and studied local politics, culture and society closely, I decided that I am qualified to write an easy guide to explain how British elections work and what are the constitutional parameters that will play a factor in determining who comes to power next. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />The first thing to know about the British constitution is that it doesn’t really exist. Some historians are of the view that it was never written down, while others argue that it was eaten by George I’s dog who had neglected to make another copy.(George I was known as ‘George the forgetful’). A third group of historians argues that a historical document kept at the British Library is the real constitution, but mainstream historians insist it’s just a book of recipes. Whatever the truth is, one thing is certain: it is impossible to get British historians to agree on anything. <br /><br />However, the absence of a written constitution is convenient for everyone involved as not having a written document makes it easier to claim that your point of view is the correct one, an approach which forms the basis for Anglo-Saxon law. (From the old English words Anglosa and Xonlo, which roughly translate to ‘making it up as you go’ ). This will certainly be the case come Friday morning, as every political party will attempt to claim that it is the true winner of the elections, regardless of how many seats it actually won. <br /><br />The important thing to know about British politics is that they are radically different from politics in other countries. In many ways, they are a reflection of the national character which is defined by subtlety, nuance and dispassion. For example, it is considered unseemly for British politicians to appear overly excited about the results of the elections. In fact, the less concerned or passionate a candidate appears, the greater his or her chances of winning. James Callaghan for example famously won the 1976 elections having not made a single speech and spending the months leading to the elections gardening, which greatly endeared him to the British public. <br /><br />This has led observers from other countries to conclude that British elections are ‘boring’, ‘unexciting’ and ‘mind-numbingly dull’. These unfair characterisations reveal an inability to understand British political culture and what makes it distinct. For example, in no other country it would make sense to have a revolutionary like Russell Brand who preaches the values of radical apathy and extreme disinterest. Brand has emerged as one of the most important political players in Britain recently, primarily because of his refusal to show any interest in politics. <br /><br />Another distinctive feature of British politics is centrism. While this is not unique to Britain, it is fair to say that the UK is far more advanced in its embrace of centrism than any other country. The two largest parties for example, Labour and the Tories, are virtually indistinguishable. Male Labour and Tory politicians can be distinguished only by the colour of their neckties for example, and even then only by trained political observers or ornithologists. Such subtlety and nuance wouldn’t be appreciated in other countries, where there is more emphasis on fierce competition and loud disagreements. <br /><br />Such is the fondness for nuance and centrism in Britain, that a third party was eventually formed in order to fill the imperceptible gap between Labour and the Tories, the Liberal Democrats. (So called because all the other names were taken.) In order to understand the mission of the Liberal Democrats, you can perform this simple experiment: take two books and place them on top of each other, putting a heavy weight on top. Now take a thin piece of paper and try to slide it in between the two books. It’s difficult, isn’t it? Now you can appreciate how hard it must be for the Lib Dems. <br /><br />In the last elections held in 2010, no single party was able to obtain an absolute majority in the House of Commons for the first time in a very long time, as historians put it. An absolute majority is when a party secures endorsement of a major vodka brand, and is then entitled to form a government. When there is no majority, this is described as a hung parliament. In the case of a hung parliament, you must avoid making the obvious joke because that would be bad form. <br /><br />A hung parliament is expected this time around, with neither the Tories nor Labour predicted to get an absolute majority, forcing them into forming coalitions with smaller parties, ruling as a minority government, or giving up on the whole thing and watching cricket for the next five years. <br /><br />So what is actually likely to happen this time? It all depends on who can command a majority and, failing that, who can beg, plead and bribe a majority. (A more likely scenario.) Due to the norms of British decency and fair play, the Tories and Labour will not contemplate forming a grand coalition together as this would give them a very large a majority which is too ostentatious and simple not done. <br /><br />The next option is to seek the third or fourth largest party, which could be either the Lib Dems or the SNP. The unwritten rules say that prospective PMs must try to woo the smaller party into a coalition, without making it too obvious. For example they could invite them to dinner and discuss the housing market and how the children are doing at school and then say ‘I wonder if we should form a coalition together. I am not too bothered, but I was wondering what you thought.’ This could go on for months, but it’s terribly fun for everyone involved. <br /><br />If all attempts to form a coalition fail, the next option is for one of the two main parties to attempt to form a minority government. Note that such a government would be made up exclusively of white upper middle-class public school educated ministers, and is called a ‘minority government’ ironically. No actual minorities would be involved. <br /><br />Should that also fail, then the unwritten rules dictate that whoever can come up with most original unwritten rule is then entitled to form a government. This is largely based on constitutional precedents, which are the things that the constitution would have said had it been written down (or did say before it was eaten by George I’s dog according to some historians.) <br /><br />There is some time pressure on the leaders to try to from a government however, as this must be done before the Queen’s speech on the 27th of May. Fortunately, the Queen can follow the precedent of her predecessor Queen Victoria who faced a similar predicament in 1866. Victoria announced that she had forgotten that she had tickets for the theatre that day and that she ‘didn’t want to miss this one, the reviews are great’. The Queen’s speech was then postponed, buying politicians precious time.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-44390985815120844792015-04-30T06:12:00.001-07:002015-05-03T13:25:12.637-07:00God resigns over situation in Middle East <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LCaZx7f-3Qw/VUIqQyQlW-I/AAAAAAAACAo/fZGHPo_NSas/s1600/press_conference.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LCaZx7f-3Qw/VUIqQyQlW-I/AAAAAAAACAo/fZGHPo_NSas/s1600/press_conference.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></div>In a surprising announcement He made during a hastily-convened press conference, God has declared that He is resigning over the situation in the Middle East and other global failures which He takes full responsibility for. God made it clear that his position has become untenable, but He will stay on as caretaker deity until a replacement could be found. The news has sent shockwaves throughout the world as stock prices plunged and an atmosphere of uncertainty prevailed. <br /><br />At the press conference held at the Washington DC Marriott, the only venue available at a short notice, God outlined the reasons for his resignation citing primarily the deteriorating situation in the Middle East. God spoke at length of the region’s significance to Him, having chosen it as the place to launch three monotheistic religions. God spoke bitterly of his disappointment and pain over the wars that continue to plague the region which He had had high hopes for. <br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />God admitted that he has been busy for a while with other projects across the universe, neglecting Earth and said that ‘He had taken his eye off the ball’. He revealed that he had last visited the Middle East many centuries ago and ‘it seemed to be fine, people were getting along and were busy being fruitful and multiplying’ and that he had left with positive impressions. <br /><br />God then spoke of his shock as He learned that people were killing each other in His name, questioning whether leaving people with old instructions without regular updates was a wise move. He admitted that there were ‘institutional failures’ and ‘major communication breakdowns’ which had allowed the situation to get to where it is in the Middle East today, stressing that he bore full responsibility for these unpleasant developments. <br /><br />God said unto the gathered reporters that He had no choice but to resign, and that He was examining various options going forward. The fact that he is the sole deity in the universe will complicate things for sure, but the Lord will consider promotions and a period of restructuring that will have a major impact on the way divinity works. God, who was flanked by Michael and Gabriel as he made the emotional revelations hinted at more senior management roles for the pair. <br /><br />‘I hear that people are arguing over whether you should grow a beard or not, or how long your trousers should be and quoting me to justify their positions. This is certainly not what I created religions for! Why would I care if you have a beard? I gave you free will so you can decide on these matters, not to kill each other over them! I’m the Creator of the Universe, why would I care about your stupid beard?!’ But God was careful to remind everyone that He didn’t want to blame humans, arguing that He had ultimately caused the misunderstandings. <br /><br />God regretted in particular the role that oil has played in destabilising the Middle East saying that He had left it ‘as a surprise for humans to discover one day, and see what they can do with it’. Little did He expect that it would become a major source of instability in the region. He also had harsh words for American leaders, who had given him personally a very bad reputation and have exacerbated the situation in the Middle East with decades of nefarious meddling. <br /><br />God declined to answer questions on whether He is a supernatural deity or a human construct that works at an allegorical level, saying ‘you need to work out these things for yourselves. That’s why I gave you free will. Or did I?’<br /><br />God ended the press conference without taking any more questions, but the angels that were in charge of security indicated that there might be another press conference soon. Meanwhile, the entire world awaits anxiously what will happen next. Richard Dawkins however tweeted: ‘this is clearly a sham. How can people fall for it? There is NO GOD!’ He then challenged God to a debate but no response has come from God’s camp yet. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-8611482482719355022015-04-23T03:58:00.002-07:002015-04-23T04:14:09.531-07:00Sound like an expert with these phrases about Middle East politics <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yPIyrlwzdlk/VTjPGqC6VvI/AAAAAAAACAU/eEW6dllyhY0/s1600/nasr-shiamap_400px.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yPIyrlwzdlk/VTjPGqC6VvI/AAAAAAAACAU/eEW6dllyhY0/s1600/nasr-shiamap_400px.png" height="210" width="320" /></a></div>Many people are hesitant to talk about the Middle East and its politics because it seems to be quite a complex place that requires extensive knowledge to understand it. While this is certainly true, there are handy phrases you can use that will make you sound like you know what you are talking about without actually bothering to study the area. We have collected these phrases in the form of a handy guide below. Note that if used properly, you can even go on to become a certain moustached celebrated columnist allowed to pontificate on the region with very little knowledge to go on. <br /><br />‘It’s all about the oil’<br /><br />This is the mother of all phrases about Middle East politics. It is one of the most effective phrases in the context of Middle Eastern geopolitics and one that can explain everything. It has even been used to explain Saudi Arabia’s 8-0 defeat at the hands of Germany in the 2002 World Cup and the backlash against Haifa Wehbe’s latest video clip.<br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />‘It’s all about the oil’ is best used along with a patronising phrase such as, ‘you’re so naïve, it’s all about the oil’, or ‘don’t believe everything you read in books, it’s all about the oil’. Generally it’s better to use it about countries that actually have oil reserves, but in case you’re stuck and you’re discussing a country that doesn’t have oil, you can claim that ‘an American expedition found a large reserve of oil in Lebanon in 1917 but kept the information secret.’<br /><br />‘Saudi Arabia, pffft!’ <br /><br />‘Who do you think created all terrorists in the world?’ ‘Saudi Arabia, pffft!’ ‘What is really happening in Syria?’ ‘Saudi Arabia, pffft!’ ‘Who is responsible for the decline of the Arab novel?’ ‘Saudi Arabia, pffft!’ <br /><br />These are typical exchanges that explain how to use this very effective phrase in the right context. Used correctly, the phrase will make both you and the person you’re talking to sound knowledgeable and wise and avoid going into pesky details. But it is essential to make the sound pffft, simply saying ‘Saudi Arabia’ will make you look like an amateur. For added emphasis, you can throw your hands up in the air when you say pffft. <br /><br />A warning though, in case the person you’re talking to likes Saudi Arabia, skip to the next phrase. <br /><br />‘The Shia Crescent’ <br /><br />Alternately called ‘Iran’s fingers behind everything’ this is a very popular phrase when talking about Middle Eastern politics. The beauty of the Shia crescent as a concept to explain Iranian expansion is that it actually looks like a crescent and therefore must be true. Other variations like ‘the Shia triangle’ or ‘the Shia Mickey-Mouse shaped region of influence’ failed to inspire the public imagination despite being more geographically accurate. <br /><br />A popular elaboration on ‘the Shia crescent’ is to use the phrase ‘the Persians are the true enemies of the Arabs’. By calling them Persians instead of Iranians you gave the weight of history to an otherwise mundane statement. See also the next item.<br /><br />‘Sultan Erdogan’<br /><br />‘Why is Turkey….?’<br /><div>‘Erdogan wants to revive the Ottoman Empire.’<br /><br />Much like with Iran, everything about Turkey’s modern politics can be explained by Erdogan’s secret desire to revive the Ottoman Empire, including Turkey’s decision to no longer compete in the Eurovision song contest. Well, clearly the rules were biased against neo-Ottoman revivalist electro-pop. <br /><br />The strong evidence that backs this approach is Erdogan’s neo-Ottoman presidential palace and the historic uniforms for his honour guard. Whenever anyone brings up Turkey, throw your hands up in the air melodramatically and say ‘Sultan Erdogan!’ Everyone will agree with you and you will feel very clever. <br /><br />‘Obama is an idiot’ <br /><br />Who was responsible for giving the Muslim Brotherhood control over Egypt? America. Who was responsible for the coup that removed the Muslim Brotherhood from power? America. Who is responsible for Saudi expansion in the region? America. Who is responsible for the Iranian rise? America. Pretty much the answer to any question that starts with ‘who?’ in the Middle East is always America. While this might not be strictly true some of the time, America is a very popular choice that everyone can agree on holding responsible for everything. <br /><br />In order to use this correctly however, you must simultaneously hold two seemingly contradictory opinions: that America is a clever and scheming power that controls everything in the Middle East and that America is extremely stupid. If you’re questioning this, then you’re not quite mentally prepared to discuss the Middle East intelligently. <br /><br />On a similar note, you must remember that America is either completely controlled by Israel and does its bidding all the time, or is the puppet master using Israel as its tool in the Middle East, whichever is more convenient under the circumstances. <br /><br />Regardless of which direction you follow, always close by nodding and saying ‘Obama is an idiot’. Everyone will agree with you. <br /><br />'Ancient Tribal Rivalries'<br /><br />If all else fails, you can always resort to the ultimate trump card: 'these are ancient tribal rivalries', which can explain any conflict in the Middle East. Sunnis and Shias? Ancient tribal rivalries. Saudi Arabia and Qatar? Ancient tribal rivalries. Fairouz or Um Kalthoum? &nbsp;Ancient tribal rivalries.<br /><br />Clearly, colonialism, Western interventions, political rivalries and ideological conflicts have nothing to do with anything happening in the Middle East today. It's all down to who stole whose camel centuries ago. Because the Middle East is that simple.<br /><br />Lastly, remember not to attempt any nuance or complexity when using those phrases, that will completely ruin them. When talking about the politics of the Middle East, it’s crucial to stick to one-dimensional clichés that everyone can agree on. <br /><br />This guide will soon be available as a smartphone app in case you can’t remember all the phrases correctly. </div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-76103852894788958962015-04-16T03:58:00.002-07:002015-04-16T07:35:47.253-07:00Vintage Arab Maths Questions <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AlZ9cTUNZ5w/VS_IvsdFBkI/AAAAAAAACAA/eR_zVyElE2o/s1600/CB%236.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AlZ9cTUNZ5w/VS_IvsdFBkI/AAAAAAAACAA/eR_zVyElE2o/s1600/CB%236.jpg" height="320" width="260" /></a></div><br /></div>Everybody is talking about <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-32297367">the maths puzzle from Singapore</a> which got people discussing the question of Cheryl’s birthday. If you liked solving the puzzle, below are some vintage Arab maths questions, taken from textbooks from the Saddam and Gaddafi era. We hope you enjoy solving them. <br /><br />Problem 1 from Iraq.<br /><br />There are five thieves who have 100 gold coins. They want to divide the coins among themselves but not all of them participated in all five robberies. Four of them participated in four of the robberies, three of them participated in three, and so on. How should they divide the coins fairly amongst themselves? <br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />Answer: There is no crime in Saddam’s Iraq and this situation will never arise. <br /><br />Problem 2 from Syria.<br /><br />There are three prisoners in jail, one of them tells the truth and the other two lie. The inspector wants to find out which one is telling the truth, how would he go about it? Assume that torture is not allowed for this exercise. <br /><br />Answer: All prisoners will tell the truth if commanded by Comrade President Assad. <br /><br />Problem 3 from Libya.<br /><br />In the imperialist West, 51% of voters can rule over the other 49%, causing a situation of extreme inequality and injustice as a result of flawed elections. What percentage of voting would guarantee fairness and equality? Calculators are not allowed. <br /><br />Answer: “Plebiscites are a fraud against democracy. Those who vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’ do not, in fact, express their free will but, rather, are silenced by the modern conception of democracy as they are not allowed to say more than ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Long live brother Gaddafi.” To be quoted accurately from the Green Book. <br /><br />Problem 4 from Saudi Arabia.<br /><br />Apples are falling from the tree at a variable rate. There are 33 apples left. The first day one apple falls, the second day two apples fall, and so one. When will the last apple fall from the tree? <br /><br />Answer: It will fall when God wills it, inshallah. <br /><br />Problem 5 from Qatar.<br /><br />A train leaves the station at 10:40 in the morning, travelling at 60 kmh. Another train leaves the other station at 10:50 travelling at 80 kmh. When will the two trains meet, if the stations are 300km apart?<br /><br />Answer: Everyone in Qatar is rich enough to have several cars, thanks to the generosity of God and there is no need for trains. <br /><br />Problem 6 from Lebanon. <br /><br />Electricity from the government is charged at 100LL per unit. Electricity from the generator is charged at 500LL per unit. If you get 18 hours of electricity a day from the government and 6 from the generator and you use 20 units a day, what will your total bill be? <br /><br />Answer: There’s no way you’re getting 18 hours of electricity a day from the government. <br /><br />Problem 7 from Egypt. <br /><br />Three Egyptians walk into a chicken shop, each wants to buy one chicken. Unfortunately, the shop has only two chickens. The shopkeeper needs to decide which two customers he must sell the chicken to according to which is the best customer. The first buys two chickens every three weeks, the second, three chickens every four weeks, and the third, four chickens every five weeks. Who will not get a chicken? <br /><br />Answer. President Mubarak’s transition towards a full free market economy will guarantee that everyone in Egypt gets a chicken. <br /><br />Problem 8 from Yemen.<br /><br />A man has two sons and one piece of land. He wants to divide the land fairly between the two. The land is triangular in shape, with a 3, 4, 5 proportions between the sides. How would he divide the land? Use a ruler. <br /><br />Answer: The brothers must maintain unity and work the land together, like our beloved ruler President Ali Abdullah Saleh has guaranteed the unity of Yemen.<br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-18549491657656117762015-04-14T07:01:00.002-07:002015-04-14T07:12:37.394-07:00Meet the violent anti-fake news website movement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pozzuEm0TN4/VS0cV6QWV8I/AAAAAAAAB-4/i8Axljgt0KA/s1600/time_for_truth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pozzuEm0TN4/VS0cV6QWV8I/AAAAAAAAB-4/i8Axljgt0KA/s1600/time_for_truth.jpg" height="178" width="320" /></a></div>It all started in July of last year, Tim Timothy was browsing the internet when he came across an article titled ‘Everyone In Middle East Given Own Country In 317,000,000-State Solution’. As a keen observer of the region Timothy, who’s studying for a master’s in International Relations, was aghast by the news. He read the article over and over, and every time it seemed stranger and stranger, he was nearly moved to tears by the prospect. <br /><br />What Timothy did next changed his life forever. He shared the article on his Facebook page with a heartfelt message about the sad fate of the Middle East, an area he had grown fond of since spending a week in Morocco. Timothy wasn’t prepared for what happened next as his friends, and gradually strangers, started mocking him in the comments box, telling him that the article was satirical and ridiculing him for his gullibility. Timothy deleted the post but it was too late, someone had already taken a screen shot of his post and it was shared widely on social media and he was bombarded by sarcastic messages for days. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />Timothy had had enough, he started looking for people who have been through similar experiences and talking to them and eventually the nucleus of a new movement emerged: the anti-fake news website movement known as For Real. The movement started with a small demonstration in Timothy’s hometown and over the months spread to other towns and cities in America and at the beginning of this year it went global, with large demonstrations in France, Germany, Egypt and India among many others. At the last count, the movement had spread to 75 countries and it will probably reach every single country in the world by the end of the year. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4NiyYYTvmT8/VS0cjTKftFI/AAAAAAAAB_I/GcJT6aixOPE/s1600/Phung_LiberalMedia_5-1024x682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4NiyYYTvmT8/VS0cjTKftFI/AAAAAAAAB_I/GcJT6aixOPE/s1600/Phung_LiberalMedia_5-1024x682.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div><br />At first, the demonstrations were peaceful but as governments around the world refused to yield to pressure and ban fake news websites, the protests turned ugly. The ‘counter-demonstrations’ by groups mocking the protestors only made the situation worse, and drove a tiny radical minority within the movement to violence. Timothy himself has distanced himself from this splinter group, but an observer from the group For Real Watch, which was set up at the end of last year to monitor the protests, alleged that he had a direct role in orchestrating the violence. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_3u7vMtrBRI/VS0dss5BTjI/AAAAAAAAB_c/Aq0nSvEGSIg/s1600/article-1370053-0B58AA1B00000578-210_968x563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_3u7vMtrBRI/VS0dss5BTjI/AAAAAAAAB_c/Aq0nSvEGSIg/s1600/article-1370053-0B58AA1B00000578-210_968x563.jpg" height="186" width="320" /></a></div><br />In an interview with us Timothy expressed his frustration with the governments of the world for failing to take action against fake news websites. He spoke sincerely and one could not but be touched by his painful story and the ordeal he has been through. But beyond his boyish and innocent looks, many argue there is a sinister mind intent on doing anything to achieve his goal, and there are many like him within the movement. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YwSXTPFeerI/VS0cmn2cdqI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/kT0Z_Bie9xw/s1600/Phung_LiberalMedia_2-1024x682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YwSXTPFeerI/VS0cmn2cdqI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/kT0Z_Bie9xw/s1600/Phung_LiberalMedia_2-1024x682.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div><br />‘I don’t see the point of fake news websites, they are misleading and irritating. Why would anyone read them? Most of them are not even funny, even after they explain the joke to me. Why not watch a Ben Stiller movie if you want to laugh? Why insist on inflicting pain on people like me? Look at this article on The Onion, ‘CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years’, it’s formulaic and not funny at all. What does it contribute to the world?’<br /><br />Governments started taking the movement seriously since it turned violent, but only Egypt so far has indicated that it would be willing to contemplate a ban on fake news websites. Most other governments see a ban as an infringement on the principle of free speech, although many are now considering a scheme to label articles clearly as satire and Sweden is initiating a programme to offer free counselling to people duped by fake news stories. Canada now has a requirement to label articles in the beginning, middle and at the end of fake news stories just in case someone forgot that they are reading satire halfway through. <br /><br />Meanwhile, the movement continues to grow and become increasingly more violent. At the last protest in Stuttgart, a hardcore group of protesters smashed the windows of several shops and set two cars on fire before the police managed to contain them. The movement has taken a xenophobic turn in parts of France and Germany as well, with signs reading ‘Out With Anglo-Saxon Humour’ seen in several of the demonstrations. <br /><br />One thing is certain for now: the movement that Tim Timothy inspired will not go away any time soon. And the debate is intensifying around the world, with many people saying in opinion polls that the principle of free speech isn’t worth the trouble, even if they weren’t bothered personally by fake news websites. There is clearly a shifting tide and many commentators doubt that any government is sufficiently committed to free speech to resist the pressure to ban them. Experts are predicting a rough ride for those websites in the years to come.<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p><br /><o:p><br /></o:p>*The warnings will read like this:<br /><br />This is a work of satire, all events and characters described are imagined and not real.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-46047265621805002522015-04-10T03:09:00.001-07:002015-04-10T03:09:31.160-07:00Beirut to be demolished and turned into a giant car park<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bEHhE-iOsA0/VSehL4p8daI/AAAAAAAAB-k/1kEuXA7CT-w/s1600/beirut-parking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bEHhE-iOsA0/VSehL4p8daI/AAAAAAAAB-k/1kEuXA7CT-w/s1600/beirut-parking.jpg" height="194" width="320" /></a></div>The government of Lebanon has come up with an innovative solution to the parking and traffic problems in the city of Beirut that is sure to transform the way we look at cities from now on. Over the next few years, the city will be demolished entirely and replaced by a giant car park. The city is notorious for its traffic jams and lack of adequate parking spaces and this solution will make residents happy and guarantee that the scheme receives wide political support. <br /><br />The situation in the city has been getting worse for a number of years and the government couldn’t cope any more with the constant complaints from residents and visitors and finally decided to turn to this radical solution to end the problem once and for all. It is understood that the scheme will be offered to a private company through a BOT deal, where the company handles the demolition and the construction of the parking and is then able to charge people for parking at reasonable rates. <a name='more'></a><br /><br />The scheme has some downsides like the demolition of hundreds of thousands of homes, shops and places of business, but this is a minor inconvenience as the majority of Beirut’s residents spend most of their day in their cars anyway. The Lebanese are used to doing many things simultaneously while driving, like talk on the phone, smoke and pick their noses at the same time, so they will be expected to work and live in their cars after the scheme is completed. Most people have decided that the few hours they spend at home every day aren't worth it, and they would rather have adequate parking instead of homes. <br /><br />Similarly, shops will be closed down and instead vendors will sell merchandise from their cars. Government departments, post offices, hospitals and many others will follow suite and operate out of buses, trucks and caravans designed for that purpose. It is expected that if the scheme goes well, no person living in Beirut will ever have to walk anywhere any more. In Lebanon this is akin to a social utopia that most Lebanese dreamt about for decades. <br /><br />Moreover, most young couples in Lebanon have their first amorous encounters inside their cars because few have their own apartments but everyone has a car. Special seaside areas of the new parking would be designated for this purpose, ensuring the continuation of Lebanese tradition and providing privacy for youthful lovers. In fact, most Lebanese people take so much pride in their cars that this solution will allow them to show off their cars all the time. <br /><br />This being Beirut, competition for prime parking spots has already started, with people using political connections and offering large sums of money to guarantee a parking place in upmarket neighbourhood. The scheme will offer various sizes of parking places, from ordinary cars to the oversized Hummers that are too large for the streets of Beirut but are yet quite popular among affluent cretins. <br /><br />The scheme has received overwhelming support so far, except for the usual small minority of vocal critics who protest against everything in Beirut. They organised a demonstration against the project called ‘cities for people not cars’ but unfortunately for them the demonstration had to be cancelled when they couldn’t find any places to park their cars within a five minute distance from the location of the demonstration. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-43557136864117152412015-04-07T09:16:00.001-07:002015-04-07T09:16:39.105-07:00The Middle East Geopolitics Guide to Surviving Office Politics <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szeG2l-hpD4/VSQC3LA-wvI/AAAAAAAAB-Q/L0UwZwzz2ng/s1600/img-54b786b26f4ea-posts-10338.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szeG2l-hpD4/VSQC3LA-wvI/AAAAAAAAB-Q/L0UwZwzz2ng/s1600/img-54b786b26f4ea-posts-10338.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>The backstabbing, the plotting, the scheming, the conspiracies, the competition for resources; the world of corporate office politics is surely a difficult one in which to survive. Fortunately, experts in management theory have recently noticed the similarities between the intricacies of corporate office politics and the realm of Middle East geopolitics and have turned to the latter for inspiration on how to survive and thrive in the hostile, cutthroat world of the modern corporation. Below are the initial findings of this thrilling study. <br /><br />Resources<br /><br />Much like with Middle Eastern geopolitics, controlling resources is crucial to increasing your power in the corporate world. Be sure to get a desk near the water cooler where you can observe who’s talking to whom and what they are discussing. Coffee is also another important geopolitical commodity, and if you can work your way to controlling coffee supplies in the office it will go a long way towards earning you favours and consolidating your power. Office workers will do anything for a good cup of coffee in the morning. <br /><a name='more'></a><br />Misinformation and propaganda <br /><br />Your enemies in the corporate world are working tirelessly to undermine you, so you should do the same. Controlling your corporation’s in-house newsletter is essential to your political survival but avoid doing this directly and try to work through agents. Contrive to appoint your allies in key positions, and then plant compromising stories about your nemeses. These media puppets, (but don’t call them that to their face), can occasionally run stories about your generosity and dedication to serving the corporation, and don’t worry about overdoing it. Middle East newspapers are full of stuff like that. <br /><br />Proxy Wars<br /><br />It is crucial to avoid direct confrontation in the corporate environment because it will antagonise people and galvanise support against you. One valuable lesson from Middle East geopolitics is how countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran shun direct confrontation and conduct their wars through proxies. This is quite a useful tactic in office politics that will allow you to climb the corporate ladder without jeopardising your reputation. You will need to invest in nurturing lackeys and proxies but again don’t call them that to their face. <br /><br />Powerful backers<br /><br />Backers are as important in corporate politics as they are in Middle Eastern geopolitics. Israel for example has done very well out of its ‘special relationship’ with the US, and so too can you. Nurture strong bonds with powerful people in the company by magnifying the importance of minor things you have in common, and whine constantly about how everyone hates you and picks on you and why is it always you. Try to sound sincere in airing your grievances, and don’t hesitate to use visual aids to explain your situation. <br /><br />Sectarianism <br /><br />This is a delicate topic but one that, if handled sensitively, can help you increase your power significantly. Here you have to be utterly shameless and pragmatic, remember that it’s for a good cause: your own success and wellbeing. Don’t hesitate to convert to another religion if it will guarantee you favours and help you nurture relationships with superiors and followers alike. If your manager is vegetarian, become vegan and start campaigns to encourage others in the company to become vegans. Remember not to get sucked into this and remain as cynical as possible. You can continue to eat meat when you’re not observed, for example. <br /><br />Coups and Putsches<br /><br />The coup is one of the most important tools of Middle Eastern geopolitics, and one that even Western countries that preach about democracy constantly are not reluctant at all to endorse. Your quickest way to promotion is executing a well-timed coup against your direct superior and assuming his or her position. This will require a lot of preparation though, and begins with a campaign of slanders and false accusations, weakening the target’s moral standing. This needs to escalate to a tipping point, at which you can step in and carry out the coup. And don’t worry, if your superiors are anything like the US and the EU, they will have no moral hesitation about backing you. <br /><br />Conspiracies <br /><br />Conspiracies are the lifeblood of both the corporate world and Middle Eastern geopolitics; you should invest most of your time in either alleging conspiracies against your enemies or planning ones against them. Remember that the point of a conspiracy is not to sound plausible, where’s the fun in that, but to seduce people into repeating them as fact. To that end, the more intricate and outlandish they are, the better. Ideally, choose one unpopular colleague and blame everything that goes wrong on him or her. This will come in really handy to cover up your own incompetence. <br /><br />Lastly, it’s better not to read this at the office, after all you don’t want other people to know the secret of your success. <br /><br /> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-47794885199669421392015-03-26T06:16:00.001-07:002015-03-26T06:34:59.482-07:00Interactive diagram of geopolitical relationships in the Middle East <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O02pkmAkro4/VRQK9XAt9wI/AAAAAAAAB98/yvGH5XnzJCg/s1600/network1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O02pkmAkro4/VRQK9XAt9wI/AAAAAAAAB98/yvGH5XnzJCg/s1600/network1.jpg" height="161" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">Click to zoom. (That's kind of interactive)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-77194994353011892062015-03-25T09:18:00.000-07:002015-03-25T09:18:48.123-07:00I Wrote My Own Wikipedia Biography <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oJL3spwfpAo/VRLe0bD3IwI/AAAAAAAAB9U/2yfqqnrP9gk/s1600/maxresdefault1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oJL3spwfpAo/VRLe0bD3IwI/AAAAAAAAB9U/2yfqqnrP9gk/s1600/maxresdefault1.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sharro holding an imaginary chicken in 2012</td></tr></tbody></table><h1 class="firstHeading" id="firstHeading" lang="en" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-family: 'Linux Libertine', Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 1.8em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; overflow: visible; padding: 0px;">Karl Sharro</h1><div class="mw-body-content" id="bodyContent" style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 0.875em; line-height: 1.6; position: relative; z-index: 0;"><div id="siteSub" style="display: inline; font-size: 12.8800001144409px;">From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia</div></div><br /><br /><b>Karl Sharro</b> (Arabic: كارل شرّو‎) (born in 1971 in Zahle, Lebanon) is a Lebanese-Iraqi-Phoenician-British architect, someone on Twitter and also someone who has a blog. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">1 Early Life</a><br /><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">2 Career</a><br /><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">3 The London Years</a><br /><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">4 Fame</a><br /><div><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">5 See also</a></div><div><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">6 References&nbsp;</a></div><div><a href="http://www.karlremarks.com/">7 External links&nbsp;</a><br /><br /><b>Early life</b><br /><br />Sharro was born to his parents, a sign of the great genius that he will grow up to become. Only great people are born to families, ordinary people are born in families. Sharro enjoyed a happy childhood during the Lebanese civil war (1975-1990), particularly enjoying the long absences from school because of the fighting. While in the classroom he liked to write short funny messages that he would pass to his classmates, acquiring a skill that will be useful later in life on Twitter.<br /><a name='more'></a> <br /><br />In 1989 Sharro applied to the American University of Beirut but he made a mistake in the application and applied to architecture instead of computer engineering. Not wishing to admit his mistake, he enrolled in the architecture programme and graduated five years later with no distinctions whatsoever, a sign that the academic establishment felt threatened by him. University nevertheless gave him the opportunity to develop his writing skills, and he got much better at writing the short notes that would get passed around the class. <br /><br /><b>Early Career </b><br /><br />After graduating Sharro started working for an architectural firm in Beirut at the beginning of the post-war reconstruction period. Colleagues that worked with him during this period describe him as a funny, attractive and smart person. Sharro discovered his fondness for fried chicken during this period, sometimes eating it four or five times a week. This was the beginning of a passion that would last a lifetime. <br /><br /><b>The London Years </b><br /><br />A few years later Sharro filled a form to join the British Council library in Beirut but he made a mistake and applied to university in Britain instead. Sharro was accepted at the London School of Economics and granted a scholarship. Not wishing to admit his mistake, in 2002 he packed his bags and moved to London. Sharro says about the LSE: ‘it would have definitely been one of my top 20 universities to apply to had I intended to apply to postgraduate studies.’<br /><br />Sharro enjoyed the utter lack of academic rigour or expectations at the LSE and acquired a fondness of drinking subsidised beer at the student pub. His passion for drinking beer fitted nicely with his passion for eating fried chicken, in many ways influencing the celebrated person that was to become a few years later. After graduating, Sharro got a job at an architectural firm in London and decided to settle there after he realised that his ticket back to Lebanon had expired. (There are strong indications that he didn’t want to admit his mistake.)<br /><br /><b>Fame </b><br /><br />Sharro started a blog in 2007 which he shared his clever and amusing opinions about the world. It was quite a bold and original thing to do at the time, allowing him to express himself freely without having to submit to an editor or bother with punctuation or spelling. Barely fifty million people around the world had their own blog at the time, Sharro was a pioneer in that respect.<br /><br />Sharro joined Twitter in 2009. A year later he discovered the notifications tab on Twitter and began to notice people retweeting him and talking to him. Six months later he figured out how to reply. Sharro’s fondness for writing those notes in the classroom was reawakened as he embarked on a zealous mission to tweet about anything under the sun with his unique wit and cleverness. By 2011 he had almost 50 followers, a clear sign that the world was beginning to take him seriously. <br /><br />Sharro has now been quoted several times in one of those paper.li things. A couple of people have said to him on Twitter ‘you should be on stage’. And someone once even replied to him ‘tweet of the day’. With such strong endorsements, Sharro has now become a cult figure among people on Twitter. His heroic and witty stands on everything from organic food to the nature of the afterlife have made him one of the most frequently-tweeting people on Twitter. <br /><br />In March 2015, Sharro finally decided to write his own Wikipedia biography, despite being told by some friends that only a vain and shallow person would do that. Sharro paid no heed to their warnings, as he felt that the need to celebrate himself far outweighed their concerns. Sharro’s decision to write his own Wikipedia entry was to be his boldest yet, propelling him into international fame. He just needed to remember to write it anonymously, because people would totally fall for that and think someone like him deserves a Wikipedia entry. <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-80163656785057169592015-03-18T04:36:00.004-07:002015-03-26T06:18:17.585-07:00Netanyahu warns of nightmarish future in which Arabs do regular stuff <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uYsrEIT3f6c/VRQHEDdSHGI/AAAAAAAAB9w/CQceThO1Wk4/s1600/stock-photo-arabic-kids-eating-ice-cream-243144040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uYsrEIT3f6c/VRQHEDdSHGI/AAAAAAAAB9w/CQceThO1Wk4/s1600/stock-photo-arabic-kids-eating-ice-cream-243144040.jpg" /></a></div>Taking a break from warning about the existential threat posed by Iran to the free world, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has issued a rallying cry and a warning against another major threat: Arabs are doing regular stuff. Netanyahu’s ‘the Arabs are voting!’ has resonated around the world, as he unleashed an apocalyptic warning of the dangers of a future in which Arabs voted, got jobs in management and perhaps even went to the cinema occasionally.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />Netanyahu, an astute observer of all things Muslim and Arab, has been noticing for some time now these unmistakable signs of Arab radicalisation. Back in May he read an article online about Arab women surfing. Then in August he saw another exposé in the western press about Arab rock bands, with guitarists and everything. To top it all, he recently saw a photo essay about parkour in Gaza, which sealed his conviction that something really worrying was happening among the Arabs. <br /><br /><br />Then things started to escalate quickly. While on a walk in Jerusalem, he noticed two Arab women wearing headscarves eating ice-cream. Later that afternoon, he saw a young Arab man reading a book and looking utterly un-menacing. Perhaps even benign, although he wouldn’t use the word himself. He sought shelter online only to be confronted with more tales of horror: cake-baking classes in Baghdad! Women riding bicycles in Saudi Arabia! Non-rhyming poetry in Dubai! Transsexual women in Tehran! Something was clearly afoot. <br /><br />Then the straw that broke the camel’s back came during the Israeli elections this week. Palestinian citizens of Israel were voting! The affront! Netanyahu summoned a crisis committee to debate what to do about this developing crisis. The choices were either to draw a powerful graphic that illustrates the danger of this looming threat, a ballot box that looked like a bomb perhaps, or come up with a phrase that captured the sinister essence of this nefarious phenomenon. Words won. Netanyahu’s ‘the Arabs are voting!’ summed up the dread and the fear in four neatly-arranged words.<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcD8g6VeRAQ/VQliOD-eYQI/AAAAAAAAB8E/juISvVy2Mi0/s1600/RG_2011_0915AQ-copy-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcD8g6VeRAQ/VQliOD-eYQI/AAAAAAAAB8E/juISvVy2Mi0/s1600/RG_2011_0915AQ-copy-3.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clear evidence of Arab radicalisation</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />It is understood that Netanyahu will now split his time evenly between warning about the threat of a nuclear Iran and the equally grave danger of Arabs doing regular stuff. But it has been revealed that he is pessimistic about the American administration taking his warnings seriously, let alone the soft European Union which has even sponsored some of these horrific courses in pottery-making and cycling among Arabs. Paradoxically however, this pleases Netanyahu who relishes the role of the Biblical prophet warning of impending doom or, in this case, the prospect of Arabs doing ordinary and mundane things. <br /><br />Will the world heed Netanyahu’s serious warnings? It remains to be seen, but according to the Israeli leader the road ahead is difficult and we may have already crossed the point of no return and a critical red line. If the West doesn’t listen, we will all be sleepwalking towards a nightmarish future in which Arabs do ordinary stuff.Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-58382630235918073192015-03-16T06:09:00.000-07:002015-03-18T05:12:06.725-07:00Arab Leaders Agree On Banning Opinions <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ebgUUnA0-Ow/VQlrjFLMs9I/AAAAAAAAB88/niO8Pu45qgs/s1600/rising-graph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ebgUUnA0-Ow/VQlrjFLMs9I/AAAAAAAAB88/niO8Pu45qgs/s1600/rising-graph.jpg" /></a></div>In an unprecedented major reform initiative, Arab League leaders have arrived at an agreement to ban opinions entirely. The leaders, who met recently in Egypt, have come to the realisation that the number one reason for disagreement is differing opinions, and have decided to end this nefarious source of subdivision and disharmony once and for all. From now on, they declared, only the truth will be allowed. <br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />The initiative was first proposed by Egyptian leader Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi in an inspirational speech to the convened Arab leaders. As Sisi put it: ‘If you have two opinions, it means 50% of them are wrong. If you have three, then 66% of them are wrong, and if you have four, then 75% of them are wrong. It is clear that more opinions mean more falsehoods and untruths.’ This statement was accompanied by a powerful graph that convinced the assembled leaders of the danger of multiple opinions. <br /><br /><br />Sisi’s powerful argument, developed in conjunction with influential Egyptian media professionals, illustrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that reducing the number of opinions leads to fewer disagreements thus ensuring harmony and stability. The ultimate aim is to ensure there are no opinions whatsoever, thereby reducing the risk of disagreement as a source of friction to 0% effectively. <br /><br />The Arab leaders debated at length the means of reducing available opinions and concluded that a universal ban would be the most effective option. The countries represented in the meeting will establish national agencies that will be charged with publishing guidelines determining the accepted truths, allowing citizens to express themselves freely without being burdened by the necessity to form an opinion first, or, even worse, subscribing to an opinion they encounter in the media or by reading a book. <br /><br />It is understood that the guidelines will be comprehensive, offering standardised views on politics, religion, social affairs, sports and the Arabic version of The Voice. Each citizen will be issued with a series of cards divided in several colour-coded categories, on which are printed government-certified opinions. These will resemble the cards in Trivial Pursuit and they will also be available via a Smartphone App, thus ensuring that citizens can have quick access to authentic views, avoiding the potential for the spread of misleading opinions. <br /><br />The leaders were unanimous in supporting the initiative, describing the woes that their countries have faced over the years due to differing opinions, sowing discord among citizens and dividing entire societies. The Arab Spring was at the heart of these accusations, as leader after leader used it as an example of how allowing divergent opinions threatens peace and stability. Never again, as the Saudi leader put it, should we allow opinions to split us apart. <br /><br />The reform is particularly poignant considering the Arab predilection for forming opinions. As it is often said, ‘whenever two Arabs come together, there are three opinions’. The serious reform initiative will stamp out this social ill that causes more harm than smoking, drinking alcohol and drugs combined, according to statistics published by the Arab League central scientific committee. <br /><br />Qatar alone had some initial reservations about the scheme, particularly considering that it has formed much of its reputation on allowing competing opinions to debate on its flagship broadcaster Al-Jazeera, whose slogan is ‘the opinion and the other opinion’. Indeed, Al-Jazeera’s talk shows, in which two guests scream at each other, have become a staple of Arab broadcasting, emulated by most broadcasters. <br /><br />However Qatar was eventually convinced of the merits of the scheme, and Al-Jazeera will now change its slogan to ‘the accepted opinion’. The two guests can still scream at each other, but instead of having two different opinions they will now fight over who supports the official opinion more. This is expected to provide a healthy dose of passion, hoping to inspire citizens to compete over who embraces official opinions more and setting a good example for future generations. <br /><br />The scheme has received support from an unexpected source, as Western leftist intellectuals declared it an important advance in the field of hermeneutics and an important step towards ‘combating the insidious cult of free speech’. The Left has been warning of the nefarious role of the mass media in spreading dangerous opinions that turn ordinary citizens into zombies and racists controlled by them for decades, and several of its leading lights have now urged Western governments to adopt similar schemes. Various Western leaders have indicated their willingness to adopt such measures, ‘subject to the matter being debated properly.’ Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-77394981802188522342015-03-16T03:48:00.002-07:002015-03-18T05:10:19.883-07:00Putin on spiritual retreat to ponder the ethical questions of life <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1tPG9Yv39Bs/VQlrIKZT9bI/AAAAAAAAB80/ZUk1eMZ-xTU/s1600/putin_horse-a5750e2a0a256620d3a9f62497b06c9a98cf1bc91-1024x767.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1tPG9Yv39Bs/VQlrIKZT9bI/AAAAAAAAB80/ZUk1eMZ-xTU/s1600/putin_horse-a5750e2a0a256620d3a9f62497b06c9a98cf1bc91-1024x767.jpg" /></a></div>Is Man predestined or does he have a choice? What is the role of human agency in shaping our life? Can we take what’s not rightfully ours under certain circumstances? How can we make sure we act morally in a world where it is increasingly hard to tell right from wrong? Is there indeed a right and a wrong or is everything relative? These and many other questions will be contemplated by Russian leader Vladimir Putin in his spiritual retreat which started ten days ago. <br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />Speculation is rife in hostile Western media about Putin’s whereabouts, driven partially by their antagonism towards Russia and its charismatic leaders, but also due to ignorance of the Russian way of life and the importance of philosophical introspection among the country’s political and intellectual leaders. In the materialistic West it would be unexpected for a leader to take time off to ponder the big questions of life, but not so in Russia. <br /><br />Putin, as every schoolchild in Russia can tell you, (but Western media never asks them), has embarked on an important spiritual and ethical retreat in a desolate location in Siberia where he will live on meagre supplies to focus and sharpen his mind in preparation for answering the big ethical and moral questions. Putin will live on a diet of raw fish, black tea and parsnips, as he attempts to wrangle with the persistent existential questions that confound us all. <br /><br />The Russian leader will read the likes of Tolstoy and Shestov, subsisting on an intellectual diet of philosophy and melancholic literature as he prepares for the biggest challenge of his life. It is hard to imagine Barack Obama or David Cameron having the courage to do the same, as they prefer to read the latest Malcolm Gladwell bestseller while eating their organic salads and sipping wine. This easy option is not for Putin, a man dedicated to philosophy, ethics and bear-hunting. <br /><br />Indeed, the Russian leader will only take time off reading and pondering to wrestle with a bear or a wild wolf, and practice shooting with his AK-47 to remind himself of the fragility of modern existence and the thin veneer of civilisation that separates us from returning to our primal roots. But more importantly, Putin will ask himself lots and lots of ethical questions. <br /><br />Putin is particularly plagued by Nietzsche’s <i>der Wille zur Macht</i> and Heidegger’s subsequent elaboration particularly when it comes to the question of authenticity. For a while, Putin took to reading Žižek to silence those persistent questions imposed by the German philosophers but according to a close aide: ‘he is fed up with the postmodern sedative offered by Žižek’ and wants to resolve these questions for himself, once and for all. <br /><br />Putin’s disappearance is, in fact, a result of a philosophical/ethical emergency. We in the West are so accustomed to the shallowness of our leaders that we don’t expect much from them, let alone going on a spiritual retreat to ponder the very real ethical manifestations of existential philosophy. Putin’s sensitive soul is far too alert to allow those questions to go unanswered. Putin will remain on the retreat for as long as it takes; only taking time out to order the deployment of troops or necessary military operations. Aside from that, he will be dedicating all his mental energy to those pressing ethical questions. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-80611764388734736022015-03-12T06:56:00.002-07:002016-09-07T03:28:23.542-07:00Christians, Jews and Atheists: A Photo Guide to Western People<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-umtj9QztTBY/VQlqw6Y2VII/AAAAAAAAB8s/6-QGyPhzmQ4/s1600/people-texting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-umtj9QztTBY/VQlqw6Y2VII/AAAAAAAAB8s/6-QGyPhzmQ4/s1600/people-texting.jpg" /></a>It has become customary for Western media to identify the religion of people that appear in stories and photographs about the Middle East in a very precise manner. This is a very helpful development, that allows the audience to form a complete opinion about the issues being discussed. For example, a story about a patient getting into an argument with a dentist would be different if the two were Sunnis or one was Sunni and the other was Shiite. &nbsp;</div><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Sadly however, the Middle Eastern press has lagged behind on that front when covering new stories about the West, treating Europeans and Americans as generic 'people', as if those categorisations don't matter. Nevertheless, we have noticed recently that some local outlets have begun to include this information and we have translated some of these instances. It's only the beginning, but Middle Eastern journalists are becoming increasingly aware of the need to build a whole picture.&nbsp;</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3CeyCm4zKyo/VQGWVHo8YPI/AAAAAAAAB5w/DYJMzIm9h9w/s1600/first-rate-people-gentlemens-club.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3CeyCm4zKyo/VQGWVHo8YPI/AAAAAAAAB5w/DYJMzIm9h9w/s1600/first-rate-people-gentlemens-club.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One Jew and four Catholics laughing&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-67jBBWFMu2w/VQGWVrobwcI/AAAAAAAAB5I/X6950UHYgmc/s1600/happy-people.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-67jBBWFMu2w/VQGWVrobwcI/AAAAAAAAB5I/X6950UHYgmc/s1600/happy-people.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One Baptist, two Lutherans, one Calvinist, one Jew, one Catholic and two atheists smiling &nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LMeCUnFYg2g/VQGWWJhWhcI/AAAAAAAAB5M/xQPNy-8WvHA/s1600/o-HAPPY-PEOPLE-facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LMeCUnFYg2g/VQGWWJhWhcI/AAAAAAAAB5M/xQPNy-8WvHA/s1600/o-HAPPY-PEOPLE-facebook.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three Protestants laughing&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-26lPylVKSO0/VQGWWucqThI/AAAAAAAAB5Q/e2CiyAwf20k/s1600/people-texting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-26lPylVKSO0/VQGWWucqThI/AAAAAAAAB5Q/e2CiyAwf20k/s1600/people-texting.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two Christians, an atheist and one left-handed Jew texting&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HO8QZwuwiuc/VQGWXVxxSqI/AAAAAAAAB5s/Aw_4EvDZnO4/s1600/people-working-2263.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HO8QZwuwiuc/VQGWXVxxSqI/AAAAAAAAB5s/Aw_4EvDZnO4/s1600/people-working-2263.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three Protestants, one agoraphobic Catholic and one atheist smiling</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oi5OYEpJpHs/VQGWXaijb5I/AAAAAAAAB5o/lGG6tk5Nwu4/s1600/people_new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oi5OYEpJpHs/VQGWXaijb5I/AAAAAAAAB5o/lGG6tk5Nwu4/s1600/people_new.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three atheists, one Jew and Tow Christians sitting down</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LVWYbM3AoD8/VQGWUoF9-tI/AAAAAAAAB40/sVMCWGF6jII/s1600/Seniors-Walking-Getty-131100335.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LVWYbM3AoD8/VQGWUoF9-tI/AAAAAAAAB40/sVMCWGF6jII/s1600/Seniors-Walking-Getty-131100335.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two Lutherans walking in the park</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2bUr_FJGDNE/VQGWY0zoQdI/AAAAAAAAB6A/-gtwZRgXUGU/s1600/slide1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2bUr_FJGDNE/VQGWY0zoQdI/AAAAAAAAB6A/-gtwZRgXUGU/s1600/slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Christian and &nbsp;a Jew with some more Christians behind</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v2E4kHe1Otg/VQGWZGkzLZI/AAAAAAAAB54/uYlhz1Dq4cc/s1600/theatre_2683109b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v2E4kHe1Otg/VQGWZGkzLZI/AAAAAAAAB54/uYlhz1Dq4cc/s1600/theatre_2683109b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A&nbsp;Presbyterian and a blond atheist at the cinema.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QBg0Fh1BT1Y/VQGWUolp1RI/AAAAAAAAB44/4lO0M0PJleU/s1600/Young%2Bpeople.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QBg0Fh1BT1Y/VQGWUolp1RI/AAAAAAAAB44/4lO0M0PJleU/s1600/Young%2Bpeople.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Protestant and a Catholic stepping out of a bus</td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yE8ZZY268VM/VQGWUgz67pI/AAAAAAAAB48/y_Rt1snuq9o/s1600/452489429.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yE8ZZY268VM/VQGWUgz67pI/AAAAAAAAB48/y_Rt1snuq9o/s1600/452489429.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three Catholic shoppers. Faces have been concealed to protect their identity.</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-50382291848879063122015-03-10T10:16:00.003-07:002015-03-13T03:11:58.625-07:00Female Arab TV Presenter Smiles Live On Air <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kRp-FvBjugY/VQK35tIJ6rI/AAAAAAAAB7E/NO_LvtzbDM0/s1600/futureTV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kRp-FvBjugY/VQK35tIJ6rI/AAAAAAAAB7E/NO_LvtzbDM0/s1600/futureTV.jpg" /></a></div>Just a week after a female Lebanese TV presenter <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asPmFRxG9Fs">ended a live interview</a> when a Muslim scholar told her to shut up, another female Lebanese TV presenter has smiled during a live broadcast. The brave presenter has shattered stereotypes about women in stern conservative Arab and Muslim countries by smiling repeatedly and bravely on camera while asking questions. Her confidence appeared to embolden her female colleague, and their female guest to also smile naturally while speaking live on air. The female guest was also wearing a headscarf while smiling live on air, thereby shattering even more stereotypes.<br /><br /><br /><a name='more'></a>You can watch the clip below, in which the three women could be seen smiling repeatedly as if it's the most natural thing in the world, much like European or American female or male TV presenters would smile on camera. The repeated smiling and shattering of stereotypes about stern Arab and Muslim societies is testament to how much progress women in Lebanon have achieved, and many now expect female TV presenters from Morocco to Pakistan to start smiling and shattering stereotypes.<br /><br />Most Arabs now await Western media to put this event in context for them because they're still not quite sure what to make of it, and they are now anxiously awaiting articles explaining what it means in American and European media outlets. It is expected that the video will go viral.<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LGz-u4tc5IQ" width="420"></iframe>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-59456848337355743122015-03-09T06:49:00.000-07:002015-03-13T03:10:39.782-07:00The Mother of All Middle East Conspiracy Theories <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GLKAB3GCMc8/VQK3lPJvmII/AAAAAAAAB68/GFntJZ1QuZo/s1600/stock-photo-arab-chemist-working-in-lab-106319777.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GLKAB3GCMc8/VQK3lPJvmII/AAAAAAAAB68/GFntJZ1QuZo/s1600/stock-photo-arab-chemist-working-in-lab-106319777.jpg" /></a></div>The Middle East is, to coin a phrase, a complex place. All is not what it seems. Appearances can be deceptive. The truth is hard to come by. It is also a place where journalistic conventions necessitate the use of lots of proverbs strike a neat balance between the mystical and the fatalistic. Nevertheless, truth is concealed under layers of misinformation and deception, like an ancient oasis buried underneath the desert sand. <br /><br /><br /><a name='more'></a>Yet, as the ancient Arab proverb says: ‘When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.’ This impeccable line of reasoning has led over the decades to the discovery of many a concealed truth or a secret plot, much like the unearthing of the buried oasis in the metaphor above, purely by this simple process of deductive reasoning.<br /><div><br />&nbsp; <br /><br />Every Middle Eastern country has teams of researchers working away to uncover those elusive secrets, usually while puffing away at their hookahs. This, coincidentally, explains both the popularity of the hookah and Western attempts to ban it, a blunt attempt at preventing people from seeing the truth if ever there was one. <br /><br />For, truth be told, if there is one thing the West hates it’s the people of the Middle East seeing the light and discovering its secret plots in the region. This is why Western media tries to discredit those great revelations made by Middle Eastern analysts by describing them as ‘conspiracy theories’. In fact there is strong evidence on the internet to suggest that the term ‘conspiracy theory’ was itself created by the CIA during the Cold War. <br /><br />This takes us to the latest discovery to be made by Arab researchers during the past few months, amounting to, in the words of one observer, ‘the mother of all conspiracies’. The centrepiece of this conspiracy, as in most things these days, is the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq and increasingly in Libya and other places. (ISISILOP). Acute observes noted that the sudden appearance of ISISILOP seemed to benefit the US hugely by appearing to be undermining its influence in the region, a sign that it’s trying to hide something. <br /><br />Observers have also noted that tendency of Iran to benefit from US intervention in the region. As one wag put it: ‘every time America intervenes in the region, Iran moves over one country to the West. One more intervention and Iran will be in Cyprus.’ This amounts to clear evidence that the US is secretly in cahoots with Iran, particularly when one observes the rapprochement between the two countries and Obama’s eagerness to conclude a nuclear deal with Iran. What better way to dispel the notion of a secret agreement more than the two countries dealing openly with each other?<br /><br />The outlines of the devious conspiracy begin to take shape. The US is secretly working with Iran to weaken the other states in the region, and it is using ISISILOP to advance its aims. Now you might ask at this juncture: ‘but Iran is fighting ISISILOP in Iraq while the US is bombing it, how can they all be working together?’ Clearly you don’t know the first thing about misinformation. <br /><br />But what about Israel? Wouldn’t strengthening Iran threaten Israel, the US’s traditional ally and best friend in the region? (It’s beyond friendship if you ask me, something fishy is going on there, but I’m not one to gossip. ) After all, Netanyahu seems to be intent on destroying the prospects of any deal between the US and Iran and has clearly made this his priority. <br /><br />You’re so naïve. Do you think someone like Netanyahu would reveal his real intentions to the whole world? Netanyahu is clearly using reverse psychology to disguise the secret plot between the US, Israel and Iran. Much like when you say to someone ‘don’t tell me, I don’t want to know’, in hope that this would fool them and they would actually tell you. <br /><br />However, this still leaves the question of the US’s other allies in the region and the threat to their interests as a result of Iranian ascendancy. Saudi Arabia for example is clearly unhappy about the prospects of an Iranian deal with the US and further Iranian gains in the region. Why would the US abandon its traditional strong ally to pursue a fling with Iran, which it has confronted since the Islamic revolution in 1979? <br /><br />Because the US is not interested in alliances, it is interested in instability. (Something about shale oil might be appropriate here, but we don’t know quite what. No conspiracy is complete without oil. Much like a Middle Eastern salad without, er, oil.) The US obviously wants to play all the countries in the region against each other to remain in control, much like a fat, bald, rich, middle-aged man plays off his mistresses against each other. The bastard. <br /><br />So, to put it simply, the US created ISISILOP to create a threat to Saudi Arabia and give an excuse to Iran to intervene in Iraq, to disguise its secret aim of protecting the interests of its ally Israel which are served by continuing infighting between Sunni and Shias and Arabs and Iranians thus preventing them from uniting against Israel and in the process driving down oil prices which it doesn’t need any more because of fracking, thus weakening Qatar’s ability to intervene in the region impacting on its link with the US’s other traditional ally, and Nato member, Turkey to prevent it from playing a bigger regional role which explains why the US is supporting Kurdish aspirations which are in turn kept in check by the rise of ISISILOP. And there you see how the circle is complete. <br /><br />It is not called the mother of all conspiracies for nothing. <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div></div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-74227762276605862015-03-04T06:40:00.001-08:002015-03-13T03:08:19.719-07:00Lebanon Becomes First Ever Country To Be Turned Into A Company <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y6I9J2yQ_k4/VQK3B__sWYI/AAAAAAAAB60/4zSmFFv_dyI/s1600/lebanon_flag_r.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y6I9J2yQ_k4/VQK3B__sWYI/AAAAAAAAB60/4zSmFFv_dyI/s1600/lebanon_flag_r.jpg" /></a></div>In an unprecedented move in international politics, the tiny Mediterranean nation of Lebanon has this week been turned into an incorporated company, in the process changing its name from the Republic of Lebanon to Lebanon, Inc. The surprising move has been initiated by political leaders following years of political paralysis and conflict and the realisation that while the Lebanese are not good at politics they are excellent businesspeople. <br /><br /><br /><a name='more'></a>After the changeover takes place, citizens will become shareholders and decisions about how the company is run will be decided by voting at the company’s quarterly meetings. To preserve the company’s delicate demographic balance, the CEO, CFO and Chairman of the board will be selected from the Maronite, Sunni and Shia communities and a similar distribution of seats will be utilised in selecting the members of the company’s board. <br /><br />Foreign investors such as Saudi Arabia, Iran, America, France and Qatar will be allowed to purchase shares in the new company, with an initial allocation that reflects their current investment in the now defunct republic. This will ensure that they will continue to play an important role in decision making process in the company and all their efforts to exercise influence within the former country will not go to waste. <br /><br />It is understood that the Lebanese people’s sacred regard for profit and business, as well as their famed acumen in trade and commerce, will guarantee that the company will function much better than the old republic ever did. Political scientists have noted that while the Lebanese are generally willing to destabilise their country and risk paralysing its politics, they have far too much respect for business to allow their personal biases to interfere with the smooth operation of the nascent corporation. <br /><br />It is also understood that basing the ethos of the company around commerce will resolve traditional ideological conflicts about republic’s identity, as it brings together the Phoenician and Arab values of respect for trade and the importance of profit. Putting those futile ideological debates behind it, the new company will be able to focus on the important business of economic success and financial gain without distractions. <br /><br />The country’s embassies will immediately be turned into commercial representation offices tasked with expanding the company’s operations abroad and ensuring the new brand gets the global recognition it deserves. The national anthem will be retired and in its place the company will adopt a new slogan. The favourite is thought to be ‘Sharing Values’, a clever pun aimed at bridging between the old Lebanese insistence on shared values and the new commercial ethos. <br /><br />The decision to turn the country into a company has been embraced by most Lebanese people who are tired of political bickering and infighting and want to be given the chance to concentrate on business instead. But a tiny minority of leftist activists immediately took to the streets to demonstrate against the decision, carrying placards saying ‘My country is not for sale’ and ‘People not business’. An old man watching the demonstration dismissed them with a shrug however, saying that they are the same 37 people who protest against everything. ‘We want to live’, he added as he exhaled his cigarette smoke, before asking if we wanted to buy some shares in the company. Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3752043102302398548.post-69091193037829855202015-02-27T09:47:00.001-08:002015-03-05T03:36:40.540-08:00Understanding the Middle East with better clichés <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gg0cG5riYVM/VPg_uKjMwUI/AAAAAAAAB3c/9D-ftSSYW9g/s1600/615L14100_79V8M_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gg0cG5riYVM/VPg_uKjMwUI/AAAAAAAAB3c/9D-ftSSYW9g/s1600/615L14100_79V8M_4.jpg" /></a></div>Some people feel that western media coverage of the Middle East is dominated by too many clichés and stereotypes. However an emerging view now believes that there are actually too few rather than too many clichés, thereby making reporting less accurate. This radical critique of what is really wrong with Western media coverage has already produced enlightening pieces that allow us to understand what exactly is happening in the Middle East far better than we have managed in the past. Below is a sample of this revolutionary trend. <br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />In order to understand the Middle East and North Africa/the Arab World/The Near Muslim East one must begin with its centre of gravity and most populous nation, Egypt. Following the general tumult that ensued from the Arab Spring/Arab Uprisings, Egypt is now ruled by the military strongman and former army leader Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi. Sisi, a bald Sunni Muslim secular leader came to power after overthrowing democratically-elected moderate Islamist Sunni (not-bald) Mohammed Morsi .<br /><div><br />Sisi’s secular takeover was supported by hardcore Wahhabi Sunni Saudi Arabia and other moderate conservative Sunni Arab States. However it was opposed by the only other Wahhabi state, Qatar, a moderate conservative small country that employs conservative Islamist journalists in Arabic and left-wing, socially-aware journalists in English. This is not a surprise because the charm of the Middle East stems from its contradictions. <br /><br />Now both Qatar and Saudi Arabia oppose the regime of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, a secular Alawi leader from the minority offshoot Shia sect, but they disagree on which of the moderate Sunni Muslim rebels against him they should support in public and which of the extreme Sunni factions they should support in secret. Assad is in turn supported by conservative Shia Iran and the Lebanese Shia (not offshoot) militant group Hezbollah. <br /><br />Conservative Shia Iran and uber-Conservative Sunni Saudi Arabia are locked in a fierce geopolitical struggle that some argue is the continuation of ancient sectarian divisions while others believe is more of a struggle over influence embellished with sectarian rivalries. Despite their many disagreements, Saudi Arabia and Iran agree on conducting their rivalry through proxy regional wars instead of an all-out war, probably because it’s more fun this way. <br /><br />Besides Syria, there are several other mutually-acceptable venues in which Saudi Arabia and Iran conduct their proxy wars, such as Iraq, Lebanon and Yemen. Recently in Yemen the Houthis, who are members of yet another Shia offshoot group, took over the country, once again as a consequence of the general tumult that ensued from the Arab Spring. Some say Iran was behind the Houthis’ move, partially to punish Saudi Arabia for allowing oil prices to drop. In traditional Persian culture it’s considered an insult to allow the prices of commodities to drop below production cost, which explains Iran’s anger. <br /><br />But it’s in Iraq where the struggle between Iran and Saudi Arabia gets really complicated. The sudden rise of the Islamic State under the leadership of self-declared Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has taken everyone who wasn’t paying attention by surprise. Baghdadi, a very Sunni Muslim extremist, although I wouldn’t say it to his face, has led his forces to occupy large parts of Iraq including the second-largest city, Mosul. <br /><br />The rise of the Islamic State threatened Iran’s influence in Iraq, which should have pleased Saudi Arabia save for the fact that the new Caliphate is ideologically indisposed towards Saudi Arabia, which it sees as the epitomisation of liberal values. Everything is relative, as they say. So Saudi Arabia is in the tricky position of having to balance its competing aims of weakening Iran but containing the existential threat posed by the Islamic State. There are no non-existential threats in the Middle East. <br /><br />For its part, Iran has thrown its weight behind the Shia forces fighting the Islamic State in Iraq, although this has aligned it momentarily with its old foe, the United States. Awkward. But Iran is also full of contradictions as, despite being a theologically-governed Islamic State, it seems to be capable of taking pragmatic decisions in its regional policies. Recent photographic evidence obtained by Western media outlets even suggests that Iranian women, who must wear Islamic clothes in public, actually wear bras under their clothes. They also watch television and laugh with their friends, much like people in the West sometimes do. Western media clearly thought this was important to point out, so it must be so. <br /><br />Another major Sunni player is Turkey, which is allied with Qatar against the Saudi-Egyptian axis. Turkey is led by relatively moderate Sunni Muslim Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, a suited non-bearded Islamist with latent Ottoman impulses. Turkey opposed the removal of president Morsi in Egypt, not least because he was also a suited Islamist. Turkey’s position has been close to that of Qatar in Syria and Libya, where everyone has been competing for influence since Gaddafi’s fall. (Regional Middle Eastern powers are like the nightclub circle, they all want to be seen in the new place.)<br /><br />The situation in Libya was complicated by the fact that there are no sectarian divisions in the country, which made things difficult for a while until Libyans decided to create random divisions. (You can get a sense of this by reading any article on Libya and trying to understand who is against whom and why). This greatly facilitated the involvement of external powers and made proxy wars much easier to wage. Although it is a bit unfair to Iran, which being Shia can’t find any allies in an exclusively Sunni Muslim country. <br /><br />Oh look, this is almost one thousand words already and we don’t have time to wrap up all the loose strands neatly, so it’s best to end on a timeless-sounding platitude about the Middle East and how it will always be the same. Perhaps even a quote from Khalil Gibran or Omar Khayyam, hinting at our sorrow about lost potential and showing how learned we are. </div>Karl Sharrohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17442368022521436709noreply@blogger.com0