The Full, Awkward Sexual Fumblings That Got HP CEO Mark Hurd Fired

It's only been a little over a year since former HP CEO Mark Hurd resigned in a hailstorm of innuendo and disgrace, but—with HP having had two CEOs and and webOS saga since then—it already feels like ancient history. So this, er, blow by blow of sexual harassment charges dug up by AllThingsD? Strictly for you lovers of antiquities. And late night hotel room propositions.

The letter below was written on behalf of Hurd accuser Jodie Fischer, the former Playboy poser and then-HP marketing person allegedly propositioned by Hurd. Said allegations are highlighted in detail over at AllThingsD, or you can just read the darn thing yourself below.

For those of you who prefer only the very best salaciousness, here are a few choice titillations:

• AWKWARD FOREPLAY: "[Ms. Fischer] was worried when you came over and sat directly next to her and put your arm on the back of the love seat. As you did so, your hand brushed across her breast. The first time, Ms. Fischer thought it was a mistake."

• DIRECT APPROACH: "You tried to persuade her to spend the night with you. This went on painfully for another hour."

• CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS: "You had been telling her about many different women that were crazy about you... including Sheryl Crow."

• DESPERATE TIMES: "One of your last dinners was at Craft in Century City where you confessed you felt like you could spend the rest of your life with her. You said you would have to see how the chemistry in bed was but that that would not be a problem because 'you try hard.'"

And so on, for pages and pages—the full letter is below. It's more sad than anything, and a good reminder for your upcoming 2012 resolutions: don't throw away your career, jeopardise your entire company, and leave a permanent stain on your reputation in pursuit of an employee who's clearly not interested. You can do it, I know you can; just try hard. [AllThingsD]