I have done many things that others view to be successful, but I know what little effort it required or how much luck was involved, so they are essentially meaningless.

I have also done many things that others would view as abject failures, but have been great sources of internal pride to me.

So, unless we are talking about feats that expose us to true physical harm, I think we all put to much reliance on the perspectives of others.

I like this post a lot, and it applies to my life in a very crisp sort of way...but it's also true that our own perceptions of our accomplishments can be difficult to calibrate without the context of what others do and say.

If we didn't fail at things there would be much less joy in accomplishing many of the things I have done. We all fail. Some more than others, however the only real failure is giving up and not trying again IMO

A wise person has said that failure is the best teacher. You learn more by failing, so if success is guaranteed, you really haven't learned much. You see this all the time with incredibly gifted athletes who are bested by athletes with less natural ability because the "inferior" ones worked harder, honed their skills more, had more drive, etc.

In other words, you shouldn't let fear of failure stop you from trying new things. You may not get it right the first time, but you will learn from the experience and eventually succeed if you keep trying. ... probably.

A wise person has said that failure is the best teacher. You learn more by failing, so if success is guaranteed, you really haven't learned much. You see this all the time with incredibly gifted athletes who are bested by athletes with less natural ability because the "inferior" ones worked harder, honed their skills more, had more drive, etc.

In other words, you shouldn't let fear of failure stop you from trying new things. You may not get it right the first time, but you will learn from the experience and eventually succeed if you keep trying. ... probably.

Along similar lines, I always tell my kids that I expect them to make mistakes. That is what is makes us people. Just learn from it and do not beat yourself up over it. And do not stop testing the waters!

I also tell them I make mistakes all the time and I am not afraid to tell them when I have erred. Having an A-type personality; this has something I pushed myself to learn when my kids were little.

Whenever the legislators endeavour to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put themselves into a state of war with the people who are thereupon absolved from any further obedience, and are left to the common refuge which God hath provided for all men against force and violence - John Locke

Get a degree in something is isn't practical. It'd be nice to not have that "practical" demon looking over my shoulder causing worry over retirement, kid's college, mortgage, all that mundane stuff that defines having to show up at a job 5 days a week for 2 days of play time (minus any house to-do lists)

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya

I'd come out of nowhere from the peleton in the final stage of the Tour de France to blow by Cavendish and win the sprint in Paris. The look of amazement in Cav's eyes, Phil Ligget going nuts....it will be awesome!

IME fear of failing keeps me from attempting things that I would like to do. Yet as so
Done Already said the best lessons, the best learnings, come from failure. So for me asking the question I started this thread with helps me separate the fear from the dream.

THat being said, whats the worst that could happen?

Len

Failure!

Which in reality isn't such a bad thing we learn from it, so in reality it's our Pride and Ego being hurt that is really keeping us from doing what we want. We Fear Men and what They Think, rather than Attempting to Succeed and fail, We Fail To ever even Start

Here's a vid I found yesterday that pretty much sums it up, it's about dedication and how bad you really want something

After a few years of doing this writing hack thing, every deadline I would end up struggling with a secret fear that the piece I was working on would out me as a fraud -- someone who'd managed a few good bits with the same luck as a bunch of monkeys with typewriters.

So, I'd keep working. And cutting words. And thinking about what I really wanted to say. Then I'd sheepishly hand it in and wait to get fired for "general suckiness of craft." Except that's never happened and instead my editors often respond with compliments and thank me for the clean copy.

Finally I simply recognized the fear demon for what it was: a necessary partner in my writing. Like clockwork, it appears when I stare at a blank page, the moment I first read a first draft, and again before I hit send. In recognizing the role fear played, the demon transformed from the intimidating bully on the playground to the anxious mother-in-law who makes a damned good meatloaf when she's in town.

Lotta truth there. Fear of failing makes me work hard every day.

Originally Posted by q_and_a

I have very little fear of failure in my life. That's not to say I don't fail, I do, a lot, but the knowledge that I have given whatever it is my best effort is good enough for me.

I think thatwe have to view success and failure from two very different perspectives:

I have done many things that others view to be successful, but I know what little effort it required or how much luck was involved, so they are essentially meaningless.

I have also done many things that others would view as abject failures, but have been great sources of internal pride to me.

So, unless we are talking about feats that expose us to true physical harm, I think we all put to much reliance on the perspectives of others.

Like Q&A in this regard, I am fairly comfortable in my skin, but like I said above, #1 often has something to do with whether or not I got the skills to pay the bills. So keeping others happy has a place in this discussion.

Originally Posted by thedago

jump out of a perfectly good airplane

Originally Posted by MarkS

Skydiving.

Originally Posted by snapdragen

Ooh, me too!

Hell no. NFW.

Originally Posted by w-g

Get a degree in something is isn't practical. It'd be nice to not have that "practical" demon looking over my shoulder causing worry over retirement, kid's college, mortgage, all that mundane stuff that defines having to show up at a job 5 days a week for 2 days of play time (minus any house to-do lists)

This might be a fair answer for me also to the question in the spirit it was asked. I would follow questions or whims to the logical end. That's what I'd do if resources were not a problem.

Not providing is the failure I fear most.

I had a small business fail spectacularly once, and it made a profound impact on my practicality.

IME fear of failing keeps me from attempting things that I would like to do. Yet as so
Done Already said the best lessons, the best learnings, come from failure. So for me asking the question I started this thread with helps me separate the fear from the dream.

THat being said, whats the worst that could happen?

Len

Fear of failure has never stopped me from trying anything.

I wanted to be a pro bike racer. After a few years of racing in my teens and early 20s, I realized I just didn't have what it takes.

Want to write the Great American Novel. Working on it.

Want to race cars. Fear of failure is not preventing me. Just don't quite have the time and funds... Will get more track time this year, though.

After a few years of doing this writing hack thing, every deadline I would end up struggling with a secret fear that the piece I was working on would out me as a fraud -- someone who'd managed a few good bits with the same luck as a bunch of monkeys with typewriters.

So, I'd keep working. And cutting words. And thinking about what I really wanted to say. Then I'd sheepishly hand it in and wait to get fired for "general suckiness of craft." Except that's never happened and instead my editors often respond with compliments and thank me for the clean copy.

Finally I simply recognized the fear demon for what it was: a necessary partner in my writing. Like clockwork, it appears when I stare at a blank page, the moment I first read a first draft, and again before I hit send. In recognizing the role fear played, the demon transformed from the intimidating bully on the playground to the anxious mother-in-law who makes a damned good meatloaf when she's in town.

Yup....fear of failure is a great motivator. However you describe failure. I'm a perfectionist with my own work because I'm at heart a pleaser.......which is a great segway to....

Originally Posted by q_and_a

I have very little fear of failure in my life. That's not to say I don't fail, I do, a lot, but the knowledge that I have given whatever it is my best effort is good enough for me.

I think thatwe have to view success and failure from two very different perspectives:

I have done many things that others view to be successful, but I know what little effort it required or how much luck was involved, so they are essentially meaningless.

I have also done many things that others would view as abject failures, but have been great sources of internal pride to me.

So, unless we are talking about feats that expose us to true physical harm, I think we all put to much reliance on the perspectives of others.

I wish what others thought didn't paly into my unconsciouse desires and actions....but it does. When I'm conscious of it, it doesn't rule me as much.

Originally Posted by snapdragen

Sing.

What is keeping you from doing this? Ever do lessons, coaching etc?

Like others, I have an overdeveloped sense of responsability...I am much better at taking care of everyone else, than I am taking care of me. So fear of not providing for the people in my life has motivated me to enter and succeed at a career choice that is a total mis-match for my personality. If I knew I wouldn't fail (read fail as being unable to support my loved ones), I'd go back to school, get a degree and become a counselor.

Len

"Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

My old adviser used to say (in his Brooklyn accent): "What the downside--you're not going to die from your choice if it doesn't work out." I always thought that was a good test and for areas of my life, I can muster my courage and go for it--including some of the things mentioned here, including writing, moving, hard home repairs, etc.

For other areas of my life--career especially--I'm convinced that my fear about trying to do something new usually stalls on a pretty deep-seated, almost subconscious belief that there is no point to trying, since it won't work out. It's not even like the fear is articulated and can be argued with; it is more like resignation that this is how it is, and it will be 'same as it ever was.' (thanks THs)