Personal Development

Today, I come to the point where I could no longer contain the unusual occurrence in my life. Seeing heart-shaped objects made me amazed about life. Yet today, intimidation grabbed me by the arm. I keep seeing this shape while doing the laundry to cooking to washing dishes. I see it in bubbles, on the food, at the leaves, in pebbles, everywhere.

I wondered whether my eyesight has just tricked me, or was it my imagination? Or, perhaps this shape had been there all along. And because I’ve given it importance, my focus was fixed only in there. I’m inclined to believe so. It seems I’ve seen a dozen of it today. Not only the perfect heart shapes but also the deformed ones. Only that others quickly dissolved while I was out to retrieve my camera. Like the bubbles, or the food residues that I throw away.

The one good thing I gain from this experience at the moment is, every time I see this heart shape, I’m reminded of love. Nothing can feel so good than associating my every breath with love.

Are you kind? I often hear angry people say, “I’ll be kind if you’re kind. But when you’re mean, I’m as mean as you.” Competition it is. This is an attitude of people who wants to be understood than to understand. But I don’t want to judge anyone. Each one has his own story to tell. What I’ll be telling now is my story of kindness and how magnanimous it is.

Kindness is beautiful. I’m unsure whether it is learned or a gift given to someone at birth. I’m glad to have a fair share of it. Perhaps it’s one of my innate qualities. Or, maybe a gift that I could give to anyone who needs it. But, hey! I’m not that kind twenty-four seven. Or else, you’d be talking to a saint. I also have my qualms. Or so it seems I’ve tamed myself that much. Okay, enough about me. Let’s focus on kindness.

According to Mark Twain,

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Some people refuse to be kind for the reason that, like niceness, it signifies weakness. For them, it’s much better to appear unapproachable than appear kind and be abused. Abuse is another story. A kind person is never abused. He is kind because that is his quality. That is his strength. When someone considers himself as a victim, then that’s the time he is abused. One is kind because one is loving. He couldn’t be unkind because to be kind is his quality.

If kindness is a gift, it’s not given in a perfect shape. It needs to be honed and applied in actual situations. Real situations had been my school to sharpen this skill. For more than a decade I was confronted with a vengeful boss. She wasn’t that bad altogether because she could be nicer to others even on the surface. That’s quite an effort. She’d say nasty words, insults and I even feel she hates me for some reasons she alone knows. At times I feel she wants me to be some kind of a person I refused to become. Seeing that I am just what I am made her dislike me. Office politics made the situation worst.

When I started with that job I was a bit immature. I easily got hurt. So, I started to loathe that boss too. As the years passed there were no smooth seas between us. She openly displayed how much she disliked me, while I stayed in the corner licking my wounds. Until the time came that I started the self-development journey. Then and there I remained kind to her despite the reaction I got. I kept telling myself it wasn’t me for I’ve tried to do my best at work despite her criticisms. It’s her. And she’s that due to her unfulfilling personal life. Professionally, she was a success. Personally, it doesn’t appear to be. So it seems.

Some of the employees wasn’t that genuinely kind to her. They deal with her nicely on the surface yet scorn her at her back. It’s a common reaction everywhere, whether in the workplace or not. It’s a domino effect, one that follows the saying to don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.

So the situation goes on and on. She seems to be confident showing me that nasty side of her being aware that I couldn’t be unkind in return. Until the time came that I decided to quit. I quit not because she hates me. I quit because I know I owe it to myself.

There were no sentimental reactions when my resignation letter was read. I thanked her on my last day of work but never got a response. Someone advised me to indirectly pour out all my feelings about her in social media. But I refused to. That seemed easy to do since most people do it. I refused the temptation. Surely, I posted something on my wall about my resignation on a more objective and deeper level. A post that neither hurt anyone nor showed me as a victim.

Two months passed, I received the good news that I was to receive an amount from the company, as a recognition for the length of service that I’ve rendered. That was small but huge for me. I sent a message to my former boss thanking her for her generosity. The kindness paid off. She replied to me and wished me a happy Lenten celebration. Three short sentences but meant the world to me. A stone seemed to be lifted off from my heart. I was on cloud nine. At last, things ended well for the both of us.

Whether her words were genuine or not, the fact that she said it made it all worth to be grateful for.

Now let me leave these words with you: Treat others kindly not because that’s how you want to be treated. Treat others kindly, because they need to be reminded that kindness resides in their hearts too.

A not so beautiful morning starts on the night before

Early this morning I felt a bit rough. I didn’t feel alright upon waking up.

While ruminating for what had I done to wake up like this, I remembered what transpired the night before. I ate dinner at past seven and had eaten lavishly. I gave in to my indulgence. Sometimes the pleasure of the moment is joyful to devour than the pain of the consequence. And I paid my bargains with a high price.

Wise men kept telling us to have dinner before six P.M. and avoid being too full. They are right.

Should not be feeling urgh

Because I was conditioned to start the day right and did rituals that could make my day right, I resent myself so much for what I feel. I keep saying to myself, “No, I shouldn’t be feeling this! This isn’t happening. I should not be feeling urgh today.” I didn’t feel positive, so I thought I was being negative.

I’m a physical being too

As the inner battle continues, I realize that I am a physical being—capable of feeling physical pain and discomfort. But it doesn’t mean that I am doomed for having such feelings. As of the moment, this is what I feel. Yet this will pass too. There are many things I can do just so I would not have the same dilemma again.

Allow the flow

I am an imperfect human being. But my humanness couldn’t hinder me to savor the flow that life has to offer. Rough days couldn’t stir me if I wouldn’t allow myself to be carried away by the short-term discomfort that my earthly body feels. Discomfort is there, but I welcome it. It is a guest alright, a guest I have to put kind eyes upon until it bids goodbye. It’s not there to stay because it’s not a part of me.

Conclusion

The next time you’re feeling not okay as I did, ask yourself what made you feel that way. If it’s something you’ve done carelessly, forgive yourself and try not to do that same thing again. Try to detach yourself from the feeling and realize it’s not there to stay. When you see things in an objective manner, you’re at peace with life at the present moment. You’ll then flow with life until all discomfort fade into the dusk.

A rushing water could NEVER reflect an image clearly. It takes a tranquil surface for light to settle and for any object to be reflected off. Indra Devi puts it more succinctly:

Like water which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed.

In today’s age and time, rushing seems to be an acceptable way of life. Taking a slow pace means being left behind. But what’s all in the rush if we’re chasing the wrong things? We need to slow down. We need to settle in order for light to come upon us and make us give off good reflections.

If it’s impossible to cut the hustle in life, we may at least, set aside a downtime for reflection and quietude. After all, it’s in this profound activity that we get much of our inner power. The pursuit is worth it.

Some days are gloomy, others sunny. Figuratively. But be not carried away by life’s changing seasons and ebbs. They do not matter much. What matters much is your every breath, your every smile, your every tear in each of the seasons.

You’re designed to live a life so full. Universe does not say a full life is one free of pain or sorrow. To live fully is to be present whatever season your life is in. Your life’s seasons is not dependent on your environment. It’s dependent on where you are in your state of life. Whether you are in spring where your life is just budding; in summer where your days are longer and you think only of relaxation and fun; in fall where you’ve matured much and let go of excess baggage in your life; in winter where everything around is cold, like people and relationships, and all you want to do is embrace yourself tight and stay indoors than be outdoors.

Being present in all these seasons with all that you are makes the journey easier, lighter, and real. Be done with illusions. Throw away expectations. Be an avid fan of life. Be bold. Be brave. Be you. Live.

Days ago I contemplated on narrowing down my niche to healing. What a coincidence it is to today’s prompt. Let me enumerate the grounds why I want to choose this path:

We are all broken

Each of us carries within our self wounds from the past. We get used to it until we consider these wounds a part of our very self. Left unresolved, these wounds would interfere with our day to day activities. We then start to wonder why things always get messy, why peace is elusive, and why it seems we could not do a thing right.

The world needs healers

It was written that those who can love the greatest are the ones who experienced pain the greatest. For how can one describe a place in its minute details when he has never been there? The same holds true for healing. Healers knew where it hurts, what helps and what doesn’t. They just don’t sympathize, they empathize as well.

The world is broken. Very broken. We could not just stand still and watch pains and hurts unfold before our eyes. We need to do our part. But before we could extend help, we need to help our self first. We need to heal first.

Spread inspiration

Why should I do this? Who cares? I asked these questions unto myself. I am a nobody and no one would care to listen anyway. But hey. There is a point in which the messenger is not as important as the message. The point is authenticity. It’s the message between the lines that matter. It’s the force behind the words that urges each one to push through. May we not be constrained in our own limiting beliefs in doing what we feel we should do. Our message may be simple, yet it may be the only words that a broken soul needs in a particular minute.

I need healing too

I’ve been trying to heal myself for quite a time now. Then it occurs to me that it may be more inspiring if I heal with other wounded souls too. That way, I would not be alone in this journey.

There is nothing more comforting than when you are connected with others. This connection makes you more secure, more accepted and gives you a sense of belongingness. However, this connectedness must not limit you to your individuality.

At some point in your life, you need to distance your beloved self from others in order to see the bigger things that are specifically designed for you. Because when you’re going with the flow all too often, you sometimes get lost in the crowd. You are one with it, yet not quite feeling in it. While going with the flow offers less resistance, going against it creates friction and discord in your perceived outcomes. But, should you continue the road to least resistance even when you’re not designed to fit in that arena?

Choosing to follow your own individuality might be daunting, but before giving up, consider the following importance of conquering such lofty task.

Carving your own path

The path to individuality is yours to take. NO one could live it for you. Jacob Sokol in his ebook, Living on Purpose, points out that creating your own path is like paving your way in a jungle. You don’t know what’s ahead. You just have to cut your way through dense undergrowth and face whatever you find along the way. You have to have a remarkable amount of grit in order to do this.

Following the path that others may have carved may be helpful, like choosing to have a mentor in a specific field you want to master and in which you feel you’re called to do. But doing the actual thing is your own battle. It’s the same way as learning to walk while a small child. Your parents were there to assist you and catch you when you fall, but the strength needed to stand and take a step is yours alone to muster.

Letting your individuality shine

Oscar Wilde said, “Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.”

In the society as a whole, where can we find you? You don’t need to be famous and do great things in order to be recognized. When you become the person you truly are, your light shines no matter how small you may be. No small spark left unnoticed. So, shine on. Be you.

Developing your originality

You’re living in a world of copycats. I, for one, am guilty of this at some point. There was one time when I fell in love with the phrase “to the moon and back“. I first read it at a blogger’s bio. I thought of copying that. However, when I was still fabricating words where I could fill that in, it became an instant cliché. I kept seeing it used on Facebook, Instagram and even on TV promotions.

The creator of that phrase might have been proud. People loved it so much that they keep using it. This might be the one downside of living in the world of copycats. When what you produce becomes an instant hit, people would get confused about its origin.

But you won’t be stopped by this limitation, would you? No matter what, stay original. You may imitate the strategy of others, but not their works. Each one of us has our own genius. Find that genius in you. When you find it, you find the key to your originality chest.

When you find your own inner genius, and act on it, then you are contributing something to the world. Your contribution might be as small as finding your passion in gardening, or crocheting, or kayaking. No one might enjoy the activity as much as you, but what you become as a result of finding this true love is helpful to others. The beautiful person you could become is what the world needs. The world needs happy people, positive people, and inspiring people.

Not only that, you are also able to share with others the tips and tricks you learn along the way. Isn’t that cool?

Inspiring others

Most of us are dreamers. The difference lies between continuing to just dream and doing something to chase the dream. When you’re able to chase your dream and fulfill it, others would be inspired to do the same. They’d find themselves more confident to get out of the pack and be their true, authentic selves.

Are you ready to spread inspiration? Please do. I might benefit from you in time, I know. All the things above are what I keep saying to myself too. I’m not there yet. And maybe there’s no final destination to the road of individuality. As long as we are given the opportunity to become who we truly are, we need to seize every moment of it.

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Hi there! I am a learner, a searcher and a lover of everything beautiful. May you'd be inspired by my simple stories, life musings, bits of poetry, and my take on photography. I just have this petty thought that life is a never ending exploration of mundane things that lead to happiness and beyond.