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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Illusions and the Real Online Dating Scammers

The one thing everyone wants is to find love. You want to meet someone so you decide to join all the others who have waded into online dating. Which site to choose, a paid one, or a free one. Which one is safer and will protect you from online dating scammers. Well none of them will.

One of the biggest cons is alive and well in On-Line Dating, and has infiltrated some of the top paying sites that promote themselves of carefully screening applicants. These scammers target a weakness in these genuine people who want nothing more than to find that right person to share their life with. Now if you say to yourself, “well I’m too smart for that and I could spot one of these scammers a mile away.” You may want to ask yourself how all these innocent people got scammed to begin with? Everyone has a weakness. Everyone tries to be careful not to show their cards, but these predators (and they are in fact predators, men and women) zero in on your weakness. Because it’s what they do. And they never approach it the same way. If something backfires on them, they come at it in a different direction.

What they’re looking for is money. And what they’re not going to do is come right out and ask you for it. And quite often they build a relationship with you over time first before asking for money. Because they want you to care about them, so when something conveniently happens in their life after they’ve developed a connection with you, and they ask you for advice first maybe, and then in a subtle way ask for money next. Should you be scared? No, you should be wary. Don’t ever, ever give money to anyone. You’ve been dating them a month and they suddenly need help with something, some cash. Your answer should be NO! Someone genuine would not ask you for money ever!

Here is how it works. They put up a profile and it will be about someone respectable, a business person a great job, conservative appearance, with strong family values. If it’s a man quite often they’re a widow, and they target unsuspecting women with children. And they take their time. The illusion people are under is that they target divorced women who are lonely and vulnerable. That is an illusion, the men who are active scammers target women and they play their part well. And because their profile appears to many women to be the knight in shining armor, or someone with values, these scammers (men) get tons of emails from women. These guys know how to read women. These women who become victims of these scammers have done nothing wrong except build a relationship over time with who they believe is the real deal. These men portray themselves as having family values, having their own children and that their children are important and they refuse to have a relationship with a woman unless their child is completely accepted. Maybe they tell you they’ve been burned in the past -- hurt by a dishonest woman. Whatever story and role they play, they allow it to unfold over time, getting to know these women, and these women unfortunately, believe they have just met the love of their life.

Guess what? You’ve been fooled. And this doesn’t just happen to women, guys there are women doing the same thing to you. And it happens so subtly. Here is one of many stories that your new love you met may pull, “ He’s a businessman and private contractor and just landed a big contract with an oil company and has to fly to an oil rig, his team of men that work for him are coming in from Australia. He will be gone for three weeks, but he’ll call you every day, email you too when he can get internet access. And then an accident happens, he’s frustrated and talking to you is the only thing that helps. He’s worried because he could lose his money, and he wants to provide for you, and he has been planning a future with you, but then suddenly he has to raise money quickly to cover repairs, and guess what? Because you are now the love of his life, he’s going to ask you, and the story will be believable and good, and you may find yourself scrambling to send him the money. Instead please, please do not give him one cent, right now you should be running the other direction. End all contact.

The illusion many are under is these scammers hit you up right away for money. But that’s not true, they build a relationship first, one of trust, then hit you up and it’s with a story that most women will of course consider draining their savings and sending the money, men too unfortunately. And you know what happens? Nothing. He’s gone, and because you gave the money willingly, there is no chance for you to get it back. And the majority of women will never, ever tell their friends or family of how they were duped, because they feel stupid, when in fact they shouldn’t.

If women and men can learn one thing, it’s this and please share this every single person you know. When you are online dating and the new guy you meet sends his photos to you, (ladies too), and please ask for some if he hasn’t, do a reverse photo search. It’s easy and if this guy is a known scammer his images will show up on all these dating sites across the country, different cities different names, and maybe some sites where he’s been flagged as a scammer. Keep in mind not all his photos will show, and sometimes it will be just different sites. But if they pop up, then you should be questioning, why? But as soon as you recognize he is a scammer, what you should do is email the dating site and tell them, and all the other dating sites where with his profile showed up and let them know. Your paid dating site, will of course delete him, but will also let you know they’re not legally liable and they also don’t do background checks or photo searches. Will they notify all the men and women that were on the site and contacted by these scammers? It’s hard to say. But for you entering online dating take this simple matter into your hands starts with their photo. Also another red flag is they will quickly try to get you to start texting and using their private email for contact. Keep your contact on the dating site until you’ve actually met this person.

Below is a step by step of how to do reverse image search. Do this image search on every prospective match that you are communicating with.

Go to google and click on images.

Click on the camera image in the box. A search by image box will pop up.

Click on upload image and upload the online dating photo, then click search by image. You should do this with all his photos, because not all of them will show up. And when it does, if you’ve given him your phone number, block it. Do not respond to his emails, if he knows where you live, you should call your local police and just alert them. No one has to know. But this is for your safety and the only way to put a stop to these scammers.

So again here is a summary and what you should be alert too:
• Rush a relationship online
• Have to travel for business
• Get you to fall in love with them
• Fake an emergency
• Ask you for money. And last, if their photo doesn't show up that doesn't mean they are not a scammer. It just means no one has taken any steps to report them to online dating scam forums who are active at posting these frauds. And never, ever give anyone money. If you start dating someone who suddenly asks you for money, you should really be taking a second look. How many of you know of someone who has been targeted by a scammer?

With flawed strong characters, characters you can relate to, New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author Lorhainne Eckhart writes the kind of books she wants to read. She is frequently a Top 100 bestselling author in multiple genres, and her second book ever published, The Forgotten Child, is no exception. With close to 900 reviews on Amazon, translated into German and French, this book was such a hit that the long running Friessen Family series was born. Now with over sixty titlesand multiple series under her belt her big family romance series are loved by fans worldwide. A recipient of the 2013, 2015 and 2016 Readers’ Favorite Award forSuspense and Romance, Lorhainne lives on the sunny west-coast Gulf Island of Salt Spring Island, is the mother of three, her oldest has autism and she is an advocate for never giving up on your dreams.