home life

12

A lot of you have grown to love Hank over the last few weeks. For those of you who don’t know him, let me tell you a story.

Several weeks ago Jason and I came across Hank, a pose-n-stay skeleton Halloween decoration that also happened to have a severed spine. Most people would discard Hank on account that he was supposed to “pose-n-stay” … but we grew fond of his handicap.

“not Hank”

I only discovered Hank’s handicap after taking him out of his home (box). I carried him upstairs in 2 pieces to show Jason that our decoration was broken and he quickly showed me that maybe having Hank be in two pieces, rather than one, gives him character that other pose-n-stay skeletons don’t have. NOTE: we gave him the name Hank because I usually name things by using the first name that pops into my head.

Due to my busy schedule, I ran downstairs, placing Hank delicately on the floor in an un-severed and natural looking position, and left for the day. A short time later I received an Instagram notification – apparently Hank, laying delicately on the floor, scared Jason.

This started a war between my loving husband and me. Hank quickly became a household name as he made his way from place to place in our house. Just when I thought I’d put him in the BEST PLACE EVER, Jason would tie him to the garage door and I’d die a little on the inside.

Here’s a few highlights:

Hank greeting Jason on a Saturday evening

Hank welcoming Boo and I home from a walk

Hank giving me a heart attack before work

Hank sleeping in the stairwell

Fabulous Hank sitting cross legged in our closet

Hank being the worst

Hank lounging in Jason’s parking spot

Hank being terrible

Hank getting lazy

After a few weeks we realized we’d run out of places for Hank to hide. So we’ve put him in his final resting place, for now, allowing him to bring joy to all who visit our humble abode.

23

We may not have a human child (and we probably won’t for awhile, thanks for asking) but we do have a child of the dog-kind and that’s sort-of like having a kid.

Babies & Puppies may have comparable rolls.

Here are the similarities… feel free to argue with me (but you’re wrong):

Human babies eat everything off the floor. Dog babies do the same thing.

Human babies eat and poop all day. Dog babies also do that.

Human babies love to cuddle. Dog babies also love to cuddle.

Dog babies sleep in crates. Human babies sleep in cribs.

Dog babies are leash trained. Some human babies are also leash trained for places like Disneyland.

Dog babies have to be socialized. Human babies also need to be around other human babies.

I’d say the biggest difference is that one is a dog and one is a human.

OK, there are a lot of differences and I get it, dogs and babies should not be compared because, OMG they aren’t similar at all. BUT sometimes puppies carry some similarities to a baby’s behavior and patterns so…

Back to my point: J and I kind-of have a baby and we’re realizing that our dog-baby is good training for when we have a human-baby.

For example:

Boo hasn’t been the puppy that whines in the middle of the night. But sometimes she wakes up, or moves slightly and Rachel hears it immediately and checks on her to make sure everything is cool. Jason also wakes up to those things. LOL jk, Jason doesn’t hear any of that stuff. The moral of the story is: now we know that J is a much sounder sleeper than R, which will be good to know when we eventually decide to have a human-baby.

Sometimes puppies don’t do what they’re told and that’s frustrating. But you can only get so mad when you remember that they’re only 4 months old and this is probably the first time they’re experiencing this thing that you’re mad about. Jason is super patient. Rachel isn’t as patient, so Jason’s a good guy to have around (for the puppy’s sake… and our future children’s sake).

We have to remember to feed our dog and take her out to go to the bathroom and we also have to remember to spend time with her & find her a sitter if we’ll be gone overnight. These are all things we’ll have to do with a baby. We have to take our selfishness down a couple notches with a dog, and I’m only assuming like tons more with a baby. This is good practice.

We’re pretty good parents. We’ve only had Boo for 3 weeks and she’s already learned a bunch of tricks and she’s super smart and she’s awesome. And these things can only be attributed to how awesome we are. So you’re welcome Boo, and you’re also welcome future Kleist kids.

Pictured: Awesome Parents

The Kleist Gals

May

21

I, Rachel, am 23 years old and have lived in the same house since the day my parents brought me home from the hospital. I guess you could say that technically I have moved, if you count moving from a shared bedroom with my sister into my own bedroom in the same home… a move.

Jason has moved like 17 times in his lifetime.

He has the one-up on me in the moving department, that’s for sure. I actually have no idea what I’m doing when I “move”. I’ve helped my friends move, but… throwing their stuff into a box and placing that said box into their new home for them to deal with is a lot different than packing up your own junk and carrying it into the new home you are responsible for decorating.

I haven’t officially moved. My clothes and desk and bed are all still at my parents house. That’s where I sleep and occasionally pass through for free snacks. But since my almost husband and I have already combined bank accounts and I am half paying for this new house, I spend a lot of my time there.

Most of you have moved before, so … this isn’t new for you. But for someone who is a moving newbie, I am still grasping the complexities of what a move has in store for a person.

First of all, new homes smell weird. I thought that opening the windows for 3 hours would do the trick, but… I have to remember that people actually lived in this house before we got there, so their smells are all over the place. We bought candles and air fresheners, and it’s helping, but it’s a process.

Second of all, new homes don’t come with anything. We’re renting. Renting is also new for me, obviously. Part of me thinks a landlord should stock you up with necessities like toilet paper and paper towels and food. OK, not the food but… it really sucks when you’re in a new house and you’ve forgotten to buy toilet paper or paper towels or napkins or kleenex or any paper products whatsoever. Same goes for cleaning products. That stuff sucks to buy, the owners should just keep the place stocked with cleaning products like, “Hey, here ya go thanks for renting, keep the place clean”.

Thirdly, the food situation is grim for a little while. Here’s the deal, we can go buy a frozen package of chicken and some lettuce but… without spices our chicken will never taste good. Or how about wanting to add salt to your meal? Or maybe sugar to your coffee? Or perhaps you wanted to make a quick batch of cookies? In a new home, you don’t have this stuff, you have to go out and buy it… and that makes your grocery bills expensive.

So I’ve learned over the past few weeks that when you move, you don’t necessarily have all the things that houses are supposed to have. I’ve lived with my parents forever. When we’re out of cinnamon, my mom buys some more cinnamon. When we don’t have snacks, mom buys me snacks. Oh, you need oil for that pan? It’s cool, I got it, because that’s just something you have in a home.

My almost husband and I have to make this new place a home. We bought flour and brown sugar the other day. It was the highlight of our week. We also bought wall decor for our bathroom and I admired it for at least 3 minutes. It’s the little things these days that I’m loving, the things I’ve never really thought about before. In less than 3 weeks I’m going to have a whole new home with a whole new husband and we’re going to start a whole new family. I can’t wait.