He also might be nicer than Jesus – because while Jesus spouts long, overwritten admonishments about accepting faith as truth and blah blah boring, Vin deifies a collective -- We, Us, Our -- and talks about universal love and One World, Together.

I feel like facebook Jesus is already ashamed of me the moment I click on his page; I am spoken to, not with, and from high he drops passive-aggressive status updates about being humble. Vin doesn’t judge me; he just loves me. Honest love makes you humble – it shames you only by being so much better than you can ever deserve, and that kind of shame teaches you grace.

So what I’m saying, more or less, is that maybe Vin Diesel is the actual Jesus, and facebook Jesus is just the Establishment talking the same old shit.