I’m No Scientist, but I Think a Black Hole Will Make Us Re-Live 2016 All Over Again

Folks, I don’t know a whole lot about physics, but a story out of South Carolina has me very worried that all of the drama of 2016 is on its way back.

A team of researchers from the College of Charleston has discovered that gamma rays given off by a black hole can actually make time go backward. Theoretically, I suppose that means that we have to go through the entire 2016 campaign cycle again, even if it’s in reverse.

CofC professorJon Hakkila and a team of student researchers say they’ve found evidence time repeats itself in reverse during gamma-ray bursts.

We’re guessing you also were out “sick” the day the professor went over gamma-ray bursts during that 8 a.m. astronomy class, so here’s an explanation:

Gamma-ray bursts are intense explosions of light and radiation (invisible to the human eye) that occur when a dying star collapses to form a black hole, according to NASA.

The physics of these cosmic phenomena aren’t yet totally understood, but astrophysicists say they know gamma-ray bursts are the most energetic form of light known to science, emanating from some of the most powerful events in our universe.

I went to a liberal arts college and double-majored in journalism and sociology. I ran as far from science as I could. So, I may not be correct here, but “time repeats itself in reverse” sounds to me like I have to watch Donald Trump debate Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton debate Bernie Sanders, and so on. In reverse.

Maybe you think that would be silly. I imagine it would be horrifying. Like Satanic messages hidden in Led Zeppelin albums, I do not want to discover what Trump and Clinton were actually saying as they walked around the stage, talking to the American people.

And, because this is science on a massive scale we’re talking about, there’s no way to stop it.