ELSEWHERE ON THE GTP NETWORK:

Behold Scarlett Johannson front and center on the soon-to-be extinct (yay!) Cosmogirl. Poor Scarlett has once again been talked into looking goofy for a magazine cover. Scarlett wants to Rock The Vote, so she’s dressed like a baton twirler on the Fourth of July even though it’s October. Star-spangled shorts-overalls arenâ€™t quite as bad as formal shortsâ€¦but they are getting really close. Hopefully THIS is not one of â€œFallâ€™s Hottest Looksâ€, although thereâ€™s no way Snarkista will buy the mag to find out.

Snarkista thinks Scarlett is secretly celebrating the fact that Cosmogirl is going away for good! Skanky big sister mag Cosmopolitan is a monthly exercise of how many ways a cover can say â€œSexâ€, or a derivative thereof. Cosmogirl couldnâ€™t be QUITE as blatant due to itâ€™s target market. There just arenâ€™t that many ways to plug â€œsexy hairâ€, so the stumped editors have to close up shop. One less cover for Scarlett to get tricked into wearing the fug, and one less rag for mom and dad to worry about. And that’s a good thing.