Michigan Man Cited for Kicking “Ape-Crazy” Turkey to Death

A man in Michigan has been cited for defending himself against an “ape crazy” wild turkey, which jumped on top of the man and attacked him, mlive reports.

When northern Michigan Conservation Officer Jeff Ginn responded to a complaint in late February, there was no telling what he could be getting into, but even this had to be a little shocking for him.

According to the report, the suspect’s girlfriend, ex-girlfriend and her son were outside playing when a rather feisty jake turkey came strutting out of the woods. For the sake of the child, the three ran inside to alert the suspect of the approaching turkey.

The suspect explains what happened after that, and we’re just bummed no one was there to take a video.

Apparently, the suspect was trying to prove the turkey meant no harm by feeding it a handful of bread. The bird showed some interest in the snack at first, but that’s when things take a turn for the worse.

The turkey supposedly jumped up on the suspect’s shoulders, nearly knocking him off his feet. The bird gripped his shoulders and began beating him on the head with its wings. Instincts kicked in at this point for the suspect, as he grabbed the turkey by its legs and threw it to the ground. He then ran over and kicked it in the chest.

The suspect has apparently never heard the phrase “can’t stop the flop,” because when the bird continued to flop around on the ground, the suspect delivered one more fatal blow to the chest.

Like we said, it would have been great to see all of that on video, but here’s what it may have looked like: