“It’s a Fair Cop”

So have you heard the one about the police chief in Pennsylvania who hates the U.N., carries a M-16 while on patrol, makes Youtube videos of himself shooting assault rifles while threatening “libtards,” claims that the founding fathers would have started executing liberals years ago, refers to Democrats as “un-American,” “vile,” “scum,” who “hate their country,” and calls his critics “communist cocksuckers”?

Neither did I, and unfortunately it isn’t the set-up to a joke. Rather it is Chief Mark Kessler of the tiny borough of Gilberton, in Eastern Pennsylvania. Let’s get up to speed. First off, this fine officer of the law uploaded a video ranting about the U.N. and John Kerry that apparently drew a few complaints. Not wanting to offend those he swore to protect and serve, Chief Kessler posted this apology video:

Well that was a heartfelt apology. Completely sincere and…..wait a second!

In a closed meeting, the council voted 5-1 to suspended Kessler for 30 days, “for use of borough property for non-borough purposes without prior borough permission.” In one of the videos, the tiny town’s sole police officer used automatic weapons, which he was only legally authorized to do in his official capacity.

Suspend a true patriot like this? How dare they!? At least that was the thought of his knuckle dragging supporters who showed up to defend their hero armed to the teeth:

After the vote, there was what PennLive’s John Luciew described as an “impromptu gun rights rally,” with supporters with “all manner of firearms strapped to their belts and hanging from their shoulders.” “America’s scariest police chief,” who also hosts a radio show and frequently appears on conspiracy theorist Alex Jones’ airtime, has developed a small national following in far-right Second Amendment circles. “I have no regrets,” the chief told the crowd of about 100, which also included many opponents, adding that he’d be back as the town’s lawman “30 days from tonight.”

In a message posted on the website of his militia-style Constitutional Security Force, Kessler said councilman Eric Boxer is “leading the charge for termination by orders from Mayor Mary Lou Hannon,” along with council president Daniel Malloy. Hannon has been perhaps Kessler’s prominent public defender, saying that while she disagreed with some of his far-right views, he has been a loyal public servant and was free to do what he wants in his personal time. Still, Kessler thinks she’s a part of cabal trying to oust him. “[They] are conspiring behind closed doors for full termination, they needed to suspend first to allow themselves time to look for or make up any reason or lie,” he wrote that he has learned. He also fingered a state senator and U.S. congressman.

“HEY BOXER, MALLOY , HANNON, YOU’RE COWARDS, YOU’RE HACKS, YOU PRETEND TO UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION,YOU SICKEN ME !” an unrepentant Kessler added. He also displayed the address and phone number of the borough hall, above the message: “(COME AND TAKE IT )”

During his radio show on Monday, Kessler said he and his family had received death threats. People have also been harassing his employer. Kessler complained the media had made “[him] out to be some kind of circus clown, deranged lunatic.”

The police chief of Gilberton, Pennsylvania also continued his tradition of berating Democrats and liberals.

“Democrats are the most vile creatures in this country,” he said. “They are vile. They are evil, evil, un-American. I don’t even want to call them people because that’s being too kind. They’re scum. You go against your country. They hate their country.”

Kessler also called WNEP’s Bob Reynolds a “communist c*cksucker” for reporting on his videos. Kessler said Democrats are “nothing but scum” and were the “most vile creatures in this country.” He described a member of the North Schuylkill School Board who told him to resign as a “tyrant.”

Now I for one never support or condone death threats against anyone. No one should have to deal with that. Okay? We clear?

But the media made him look like a “deranged lunatic?” Dude! You didn’t need any help from the media for that one.

And seriously, you need to resign from the police force. Because no matter how much you claim that you will protect and serve every citizen…..

Though he hates Democrats and liberals, Kessler insisted he was just as willing to protect “libtards” as anyone else.

There is no way in hell this guy could ever be trusted to do his job and protect those liberals and Democrats in his town he says they’re traitors who should be shot. No. Fucking. Way.

….

And of course, he pretends that it’s about his use of profanity. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about his use of profanity. I care about his dehumanizing of the very people he is sworn to protect and the fact that he is clearly unhinged. He should be fired. Immediately.

I’ll be keeping an eye on this story. This could get very ugly.

If only that opening really was the set up for a joke. It would probably be a good one. Very funny. So unlike the reality.

About the Author

Described as "intelligent but self-destructive," Foster Disbelief spent his twenties furiously attempting to waste his potential in a haze of religion and heroin. Science and atheism allowed him to escape his twin addictions and he now spends his days attempting to make the most of his three remaining brain cells.