As if the mass paranoia in Southern California over that fabled radiation cloud from Japan wasn't ridiculous enough, it appears some Los Angeles email scammers are doing their part to feed the fear.

Inspector Matt Levesque from the L.A. County Fire Department said it would be insensitive to forward us a copy of their original email, but he agreed to dictate the thing over the phone. As it turns out, the text is hilarious. (Why do we get all the shitty emails, while the rest of Los Angeles is spammed with this acid-rain gold?)

Here it is, word for word, albeit after a game of telephone:

"There was a nuclear blast 4:30 p.m. Sunday in Fukushima, Japan. If it rains today or in the next few days, do not go in the rain. If you get caught out, use an umbrella or raincoat. Even if it's only a drizzle, radioactive particles which may cause burns, alopecia or even cancer, may be if it rain. [Ed note: So... they don't speak English? Possible clue?]

"The County of Los Angeles Fire Department has not issued this statement nor do we believe the statements within the e-mail to be factual", says Public Affairs Battalion Chief Jon O'Brien. Residents within Los Angeles County seeking information on the potential impact from the release at the Fukushima Nuclear Plant are advised to obtain their information from a reputable agency. Additionally, individuals are reminded to use caution when viewing e-mails and to always verify the source of their information.