Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

O Scott Pilgrim! At the sound of the synapses firing from reading these words we should be dashing (even if you are a swift walker, still you should dash) to watch the ecstatic playground, the festival of lights, the melting pot of rock, the pinata of quirky mayhem that is your stomping ground.

Edgar Wright! It is no mystery why lesser directors such as Kevin Smith want to suck your cock. If talent behind a camera was cock Edgar, you would be . . . a python . . . that is eating another python. And Kevin Smith would be a vagina. And you would be blowing the steaming moneyshot of your genius all over Kevin Smith’s brow and eyebrows and probably a little bit in his beard too.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead! Who wouldn’t kill themselves to be with you in this one? Your beauty is not merely a novelty (even if they say well in Death Proof you did spend the entire flick running around in a cheerleading uniform – hot). I think it’s just that when asked, you fulfill the roles of caricatures superbly (i.e. it is very easy to project our fantasies on you). But you are beyond scream queen status. I’m looking forward to following you into more complex terrain.

Michael Cera! The greatest presence since Woody Allen who is making awkwardness cool and ostensibly appealing to the ladies. Though I have to say, Ellen Wong! You stole the show! The best dramatic and comedic performance of the flick belonged to you.

There is too much genius to list, but here is a list:

1) Nigel Godrich
2) For making emotional battles – literal
3) For making every guy in that movie theater want to play bass guitar in a garage band
4) For casting the cutest girls, even in minor roles (i.e. Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza)
5) Video games – the oldschool way
6) For making sure almost every cut of the film was so fresh and so clean
7) For not blowing it on about ten million references to pop culture – comics, music, film, refrigerator magnets; for getting them right or right enough
And 8 – Kieran Culkin – King of all Culkins

I.e. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World you are the coolest MFer on the planet at this moment . . . $12