Category: Humor

BROOKLYN –– Captured Tracks spokesman Leslie Hardy announced early Sunday morning that “slacker rocker” Mac DeMarco’s next album cover would double as an advertisement for Marlboro Reds. This will be the musicians fifth studio album with the indie label.

The album cover, which depicts DeMarco sitting on a large cigarette, also shows him smoking.

“We’re really excited about the money this will bring Mac and the label, we’ll be able to buy, like, five or six new ping pong tables for the office – at least” says Hardy.

When asked why he would endorse the tobacco giant, Mac DeMarco responded that they “pay better than Viceroy”, who allegedly only paid him in single-serving bags of preprepared salad.

“That’s how I got the name for my third album,” says DeMarco. “It was all I was eating at the time.”

It’s unclear how this sponsorship will affect the musician’s young fanbase, who already have enough trouble affording cheap cigarettes.

BROOKLYN — Former Real Estate guitarist Matt Mondanile revealed in an interview with Pitchfork writer Ian Cohen early Monday morning that he hadn’t actually left the indie rock band to work on his solo project, but because the band “wasn’t chill enough.”

“People are saying I left Real Estate to work on my solo stuff, which just isn’t true,” says Mondanile. “A lot of fans don’t know this but Ducktails is just Real Estate songs played backwards anyway, only chiller.”

Martin Courtney, the band’s vocalist, says he was shocked by his childhood friend’s departure: “All I know is I went into the studio one day and all the hacky sacks and Capri Suns were gone.”

Sources close to the friends say this rift in the band came as no surprise, and that tension had been growing among the band mates since Courtney recorded over Mondanile’s VHS tape of Weekend at Bernie’s.

LOS ANGELES — The surprise release of Frank Ocean’s highly anticipated Boys Don’t Cry fell on deaf ears late Sunday night when the R&B superstar unexpectedly released the record to relatively little reaction from the internet. Ocean, whose 2012 album channel ORANGE was met with massive critical acclaim, said he was shocked that the his newest project didn’t incite the Beyonce-caliber frenzy he was counting on, “I was kind of hoping tosurprise my fans with this new music, because they’re so patient, ya know?”

Daniel Roddins, a sophomore at Temple University in Philadelphia, and self-proclaimed Frank Ocean fan, admits that when the album was released he was “deep in shopping Harambe and Frank into an Arthur meme” and didn’t notice.

The Overdub writers (me, me, and me) have taken it upon themselves to scour the internet for the 11 saddest songs of the year. It took some digging, but we think we did a good job. We added comparative sadness levels for emotional compartmentalizing.

11. Sufjan Stevens – “Death with Dignity”

Sadness level: accidentally snuffing out the life of a lightning bug while trying to catch it like some oaf.