UPDATE (12/14/10) My little girl is here!!! I am a mother now and I am so in love with my daughter. Madeline was born 12/3/10 at 11:29 pm. She was 6 lbs 11 oz and 20.5 inches long. She is amazing and we are having an interesting journey so far getting to know each other and get used to our new life. My husband has been incredible and he is so in love with our daughter and with being a daddy. I am so excited to be on this journey with him!!

I have to wait until my 6 week check up ...

UPDATE (12/14/10) My little girl is here!!! I am a mother now and I am so in love with my daughter. Madeline was born 12/3/10 at 11:29 pm. She was 6 lbs 11 oz and 20.5 inches long. She is amazing and we are having an interesting journey so far getting to know each other and get used to our new life. My husband has been incredible and he is so in love with our daughter and with being a daddy. I am so excited to be on this journey with him!!

I have to wait until my 6 week check up to get clearance to exercise again, and until then I am going to concentrate on building a relationship with my daughter and trying to get a handle on breast feeding. I can't wait to get back into being healthy and exercising again! I kind of let it all go when pregnant, and I'm looking forward to getting back in shape!

I know it won't be easy, but I have done it before and I know I can do it again! :)

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UPDATE (1/3/10) Here we go boys and girls. For those of you playing along at home, I've been around for awhile, but I've fallen a bit off the wagon. I'm working hard to get back to where I was, a happier place, and get back into losing weight and living healthy. I really want to change my life, with my husband, not just "go on a diet and lose weight". That's easy; changing your life is just a little bit harder. I may look into seeing a counselor because I believe after doing some online research that I probably have an eating disorder (binge eating disorder) and not that I want to use that as an excuse, but I think seeing a counselor could only do good.

So here we are. A little different mindset, hopefully with a partner this time (my husband) trying to get healthy so we can bring a baby into this world. It's been quite a ride, but I'm in for the long haul.

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UPDATE (7/1309) 9 weeks and counting until the half marathon, which means I really need to get in gear!! The wedding is over and unfortunately I've lost a little bit of ground, but I'm still working on finding a happy medium and how this can become a real lifestyle, not just a "diet", which I am sorry to say it kind of was with the pressure of the wedding. I was so FOCUSED and DETERMINED, it was all or nothing until the wedding and I was pushing myself so hard. So now I'm working on finding balance and how this can work for life. If you have any suggestions for me feel free to offer! :) Good luck everyone!

UPDATE (3/8/09) I have officially lost 80 pounds!! My size 14 wedding dress is hanging up at my parents house, and I can't wait to wear it! :) I'm hoping to lose another 15-20 pounds by the wedding, so I have to stay focused. I am training to run a half marathon Sept 20, so that is what I will spend my summer focusing on. I have started running already (sort of stopped over the winter, just too yucky outside) and that is helping me to regain my focus. I am proud of how far I have come, and I look forward to even more success and achievement. I still don't love my body, but I'm beginning to appreciate it more, and respect it. I have put it through a lot, and it's proven it can take it. I'm going to challenge it even more in the coming months, and I am excited to prove just how much I can accomplish if I put my mind to it.

My current focus is cardio, RUNNING, and strength training. I am trying to tone up now as well as lose weight, so I am pushing the strength training. I started going to a zumba class which I LOVE, and is a great change of pace compared to my usual workouts. I am so happy that I am finally changing my life for good, and am excited to see where this new chapter of my life takes me.

here is a little recap for those of you playing along at home. since march 31, 2008 (i started march 31, joined spark april 2nd) to today march 7, 2009:

I got engaged on Christmas (07) and am getting married May 30, 2009. I have always been overweight, and struggled with my weight and very low self-esteem. A few years ago I worked hard and lost 50 pounds... and then met my fiance and he loved me for who I am. Needless to say I slowly put all the weight back on. Now I have to face wedding dress shopping and hundreds of people staring at me, and I want, once and for all, to lose this weight and be happy and healthy. I want to be able to be pretty on my wedding day, really pretty not just have people tell me I'm pretty because I'm the bride and they're supposed to say that. I want to be able to have kids and run around after them and not get tired after 5 minutes. I want to be happy, truly happy with myself and my life for the first time... in my life. My new life.

i started running in april and completed 4 5k races throughout the summer and fall. here were my times:

My Goals:
I need to get healthy, for real. Not just go on a diet, not just lose weight, but LIVE A HEALTHY LIFE, with my husband. We want to do this together so we can teach our daughter to be healthy by example.

I ran a half marathon in 9/09 and pretty much stopped running after that, so I really want to get back into running and other forms of exercise.

My Program:
Starting over as a mother, need to work around baby's schedule and try to work in exercising as I can.

I am doing a restricted calorie diet, and breastfeeding my daughter.

This is hard, but I am doing it and I WILL SUCCEED!

Personal Information:
I am a graphic designer living in Appleton, WI. I am 27 years old and working to lose weight and get healthy with my husband so we can have many, many more happy years to come.

Hey! Good to hear from you, but sorry to hear you've been struggling. Don't beat yourself up too much. That's just part of that vicious cycle, and it doesn't help matters! I hope you are able to get the advice and encouragement you need from your doc. I know you've had a lot of life adjustments in a short amount of time, but you can't forget to take care of yourself!

I have faith that you can do this...starting with baby steps in the right direction. You've got a lifetime to devote to healthy living, and you CAN do it! :)

Good to hear from you! Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! I can't imagine how hard it is with the whole weight thing throughout the pregnancy and then even after! You will get back on it though, you're determined! I hope everything is going well with you and your family. I bet Maddie is growing so fast!