sometimes it feels really scary. like when i was a kid and forgot my inhaler on a sleepover that ended up with me at the hospital; or like when a big wave gobbles you up and spits you out at its leisure; or like when my mind takes me places i’d rather not go and fills my heart with fears. other times it feels amazing. like when climbing a high mountain peak where the air is thin and you’ve already given all your oxygen to the muscles that got you there; or like when taking in the view from such a height; or like when looking into my boy’s eyes in a silent appreciation for the love that we share.