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LIU Atlas - Piscatus . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Piscatus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we are visiting a small planet in the Mid-Rim known as Piscatus. Piscatus, which sits at the edge of its star’s habitable zone, is a cold, wet planet. Its mountainous southern hemisphere is covered in ice and snow, while its northern hemisphere is home to a large salt water sea. Piscatus has a varied economic system, but its two most important industries are ice mining and aquaculture. Since we’ve already focused on ice mining when we visited Fuscus, we’re going to focus on Piscatus’s aquaculture industry.”
Doog: “Piscatus only has about one hundred thousand residents. These residents live in small coastal cities along the southern continent’s northern coast. This city here, known as Piscator, is one of the planet’s largest. That’s where we are headed.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off on one of the city’s docks where I await my guide. As you can see, I’ve had to forgo my usual sleeveless style in order to stay warm. Although the city is located on Piscatus’s equator, the temperatures here rarely rise above freezing. Ah, I think I see my guide coming now.”
Pierre: “Welcome to Piscatus, Doog. I’m Pierre Piscatorious, the local fishing foreman. This sure is a beautiful planet, eh?”
Doog: “Well, I’ve been to plenty of planets, and I can confidently say that this is not a beautiful place. It’s a bit too cold and snowy for my tastes. So, I hear you guys are involved in aquaculture. That’s not some fancy way of saying ‘agriculture’ is it? You know how I feel about agriculture.”
Pierre: “Well, I’d be lying if I said no. Aquaculture is identical to agriculture except that we farm the sea instead of land. But don’t fret, it’s much more interesting.”
Doog: “So you farm fish?”
Pierre: “Not fish. The Piscatus Ocean was only stocked with a select group of mollusks and crustaceans. That’s what we farm.”
Doog: “Stocked?”
Pierre: “Yes. You see, when Piscatus was first discovered, its oceans only contained primitive algae and sea plants, which were of little economic use. In order to increase the oceans economic output, it was stocked with various edible organisms that were in high demand. The introduced species were able to feed of the local fauna, and their numbers exploded. After a few years, Piscatus’s ocean was ready for sustainable fishing. The rest is history.”
Doog: “Sure. So, what‘s next?”
Pierre: “Well, we can hop in this little boat over here and take a tour of are various operations.”
Doog: “Alright, we’re now west of the city near a large ice cliff. What’s going on here, Pierre?”
Pierre: “This is part of our largest industry, crab fishing. Using LIU Hover Crab Boats, we pull millions of tons of crabs out of the ocean every year. The process is pretty simple. Electronic traps are lowered to the sea floor. Bait is released, which attracts the crabs. The traps have electric force field bars that allow the crabs to enter the trap, but not exit. The traps are then pulled back onto the boat.”
Doog: “I’ve seen crab fishing on TV before, but they generally use much larger ships. Why are the Hover crab Boats so small?”
Pierre: “Well, the small hover boats are much faster than larger ships, and they are able to cover much more ground. Besides, unlike other crabbing operations, we don’t stack the traps on our deck. Once the traps are emptied, they get dropped right back into the ocean.”
Pierre: “The hover boat has a dual-sided deck that allows two crab traps to be sorted at the same time.”
Doog: “Sorted?”
Pierre: “Yes. To maintain a sustainable crop, we only harvest mature crabs of a certain size.”
Pierre: “Crabs that meet the criteria are loaded into the boat’s detachable storage tank. Whenever it gets full, the tank is transferred to another ship to be transported back to the city.”
Doog: “This sure seems like a lot of work. When I want to catch crabs, all I have to do is call one of my ex-girlfriends. It’s much easier.”
Pierre: “Too much info, eh?”
Doog: “What’s next?”
Pierre: “The rest of our operations take place below the water. I figured we head down there.”
Doog: “Whoa, what’s that thing?”
Pierre: “This is the LIU Sea to Air Hauler, commonly referred to as SAH. Its unique propulsion system allows it operate above and below the ocean. Its main purpose is to haul our underwater cargo back to the city.”
Pierre: “I’ve arranged for this transport to take us below where we can see our underwater operations.”
Doog: “Let’s do it.”
Pierre: “Here on Piscatus, we also harvest the famously tasty Stink Clam.”
Doog: “Uh! I hate Stink Clams. They’re smelly and hard to get open.”
Pierre: “They don’t smell that bad, but I agree, they are hard to open up. I’ve learned that a little finesse usually works best. Besides, once you get inside, there is no better meat out there.”
Doog: “Yeah, but when you’re done, they always want to snuggle.”
Pierre: ‘Wait, are we talking about the same thing?”
Doog: “Uh, what are you talking about?”
Pierre: “I’m talking about the clams down there on the ocean floor.”
Doog: “Oh! I mean, of course…that’s what I was talking about too. I…uh…always snuggle with my seafood when I’m done eating it…or something.”
Pierre: “Anyway…the Stink Clams are farmed in natural crevices in the sea floor. When they reach the appropriate size, they are loaded into a container and transported back to the city.”
Doog: “Anything else?”
Pierre: “One more thing.”
Pierre: “Our last fishing industry revolves around octopuses. Because Octopuses are so fast and agile, we had to invent an even faster and more agile fishing boat to catch them. This here is the LIU Octo-Net. It’s extremely quick and able to run down the fastest octopuses…will you stop giggling every time I say octopuses?”
Doog: “Hehe. Sorry.”
Pierre: “Anyway, the ship has two electric rods on its wingtips to stun the octopuses.”
Pierre: “The stunned octopuses are then scooped up in the Octo-Net’s net and transported to the surface.”
Doog: “Man, this would be pretty boring if there wasn’t so many opportunities for innuendo. Are we done yet?”
Pierre: “Before you leave, I thought it would be nice to taste some of our catch, so I’ve brought you here to the local seafood restaurant. We export 99.99% of our catch, but the rest stays here to feed the residents. There’s nothing better than fresh seafood.”
Doog: “Free food? I’d never turn that down. My crew and I are always running short on food by the end of the season.”
Pierre: “Uh, I didn’t say free. The local economy could use a boost. We don’t get many off-world visitors here, and, well, we could use some…”
Doog: “Hey, what’s this?”
Pierre: “Oh, don’t mind that.”
Doog: “No, seriously, what’s the Cove? And why is it restricted?”
Pierre: “It’s nothing. You shouldn’t concern yourself with it. Now, where was I? Oh, the local economy could use a…”
Pierre: “Doog! Get back here! That area is restricted!”
Doog: “Holy crap! You guys are murdering dolphins!”
Pierre: “Doog! You shouldn’t be down here. The cove is off limits to the media.”
Doog: “Why? You don’t want anyone seeing you guys slaughter dolphins?”
Pierre: “No, because, well…I mean, yes. We don’t want anyone to see. All the environmental groups will be up in arms. I could slaughter crabs all day and no one would care, but you kill a few dolphins and the whole universe will be after us.”
Doog: “I see your point, but I have to ask, why dolphins?”
Pierre: “Well, there’s a small niche market that considers dolphin meat a delicacy. Somebody has to do the dirty work.”
Pierre: “We try to make the process as humane as possible. We lure the dolphins to the Cove using sonic bait, then quickly dispatch them with the LIU Delphinus Mech. Look, we don’t have much, but there has to be something that we can give you to persuade you not to show the Cove in your show. Please, we don’t need the fallout.”
Doog: “Hmm. I do recall you saying something about paying for food. I’m not sure I want to do that. I tell you what, you feed my crew and I, for free, and I may decide to lose the footage of the Cove.”
Pierre: “It’s a deal.”
Doog: “Well folks, minus the dolphin plundering, Piscatus is not such a bad place. Their hard work helps to feed the universe, and more importantly, helps to feed my crew. Thanks for joining us.”
Mike: “Hmm, someone should have invited Hugo. Oh well.”
Note: As you can see, Doog forgot to lose the footage. Please address all complaints to:
Pierre Piscatorious
529 Dock St.
Piscator, Piscatus, Spira Spiral Arm, Mid-Rim, LIU Galaxy 54226-44152-88845754