Text Game Done Right

I get asked about text game all the time recently. I’ve got tons of stuff, but here are some basics that should tighten up your follow-up skills and get you more dates!

Here are seven text game tips:

1. Never use XXs or smileys. If you are including these in your messages, it’s like giving a girl too many compliments – she knows you like her and at a minimum she makes you work harder and potentially she gets scared off. A girl can put these in her messages and it can be ambiguous. She will put Xs in to her female and male friends. The difference is that guys will ONLY do it when they like someone. So, even if she starts it, don’t succumb to the temptation to get all lovey dovey! Once you’ve slept with her, you can send her all the smileys you like.

2. Never have multiple question marks in a message. “How was your weekend? What are you up to? How’s work?” The more you ask, the harder it is to answer the message, and the less chance that she’ll reply. Limit things to one question per message and make it one that is pretty simple or interesting to answer.

3. Don’t ask for a date in the first text. Most guys send: “Hey nice to meet you last night, would you like to meet for a drink this week?” In most cases, this is going to fail. When she met you she might have been in to you, but now you are catching her when she is with friends or at work and she isn’t in the same mood. It’s also a big ask to get a girl to commit to spending a couple of hours with you when she maybe only chatted to you for a few minutes. Much better is to wait until Monday and then send something like: “Hey nice to meet you on Saturday. How was the rest of your weekend?” and then move on to the next step…

4. Sense the receptivity. She could reply with “Yeah it was pretty good thanks”, or she could reply with “Oh hey, nice to meet you too, yeah it was really fun, just had a quite one on Sunday and now I’m back at work, how about you?” These girls can now easily be classified into ‘Up for it’ and ‘Not up for it’. If she is up for it, it’s time to send a text and include the question “what are you up to this week?” then follow-up with “we should meet up, when is good for you, Wednesday or Friday?”

5. If she is cold, leave it a while. If she can be categorised as ‘not up for it’, we should leave it a while and then in a week or so try to re-engage. “What up Playa?! Some friends and I are going to a wicked party on Friday, you guys should come down!” You can send a text like this every couple of weeks and some time she might bite. If not, you don’t lose anything because you aren’t asking for a response and you are out having fun anyway, so it’s not like saying “Hi would you like to go for a drink with me tonight” which makes it sound like you have nothing else going on in your life if she says no.

6. The date you suggest should be based on how solid the number is. If the girl is obviously up for it, you can suggest that you both meet for a drink, you can also call and have a good chance that she’ll answer the phone. If it’s more in the middle, it’s much safer to invite her and her friends out somewhere so that it’s something she can easily agree too. Meeting for drinks before a club night as a big group is a lot easier to agree to than meeting 1on1 for a girl that isn’t 100% sure.

7. The Recovery. I’ve managed to get girls back into my life who’s numbers I’ve gotten up to ONE YEAR earlier. You can send a message like this:
“Oh my god, you’ve been kidnapped! Don’t worry, I’ll rescue you! Are they feeding you? I’ll bring you some chocolate, which do you prefer, dark, milk, or white?”

It’s funny and will usually get a response where other messages have failed. If you’ve let a few fall off the radar, try and bulk text to them and see how many you can resurrect, I’d guess it could be up to 75%!

Those are some quite specific things you should be doing, but it’s also important that your text messages say the right things about you. In general your texts should communicate that you:
• Have plenty of stuff going on in your life.
• Have other options.
• Aren’t desperate and could take it or leave it.

By following these rules you should be able to turn more of your numbers into dates.