As usual when there's the possibility of some fun, I prefer to meet at once. Another problem of course is that on Sunday mornings I'll often go for a run along the river with some guys from the gym I go to. Delaying the fun means I'll probably have to skip the run today :-(.

GB: well I could come over now? Looking forward to meeting u, GB x

So far, this conversation has all been via the gaydar online message system, but suddenly I get a txt msg on my mobile phone

Guy: Having a shower now and text u after. Thx

Well that's quite clear, I can't visit him yet. Still, he seems quite keen so there's definitely a strong possibility of meeting this guy. I'll just have to go for a run later on my own, or do a weights workout instead.

But forty-five minutes pass and I don't hear anything. Well I'm definitely not going to miss my run if this guy isn't going to meet me, so I send him a txt msg

GB: I'm off to gym now. Pls txt me now if you want me to visit you first.

I get a reply almost immediately

Guy: OK no problem u can come as long as u understand no pressure if it work fine it doesn't fine 2. Give me a call as need 2 hear ur voice I'll give the address

What a nice choice I've got :-). I could either go to the gym for a run, or visit a French guy for a wank session. As usual of course, it's the trouser department which makes the decision

"Hi this is GB", I say on my phone a few minutes later, "so what's your address?"

Within 20 minutes I've walked round to his appartment block, he's buzzed me into the building, and I'm knocking on his door.

"Would you like a tea or coffee or something", he offers once I'm inside. He's got a gorgeous, sexy French accent. Immediately I hope that he might be up for a bit more than just watching me wank off.

"I've got the kettle on anyway", he says. "I'm having a coffee. I can do you a herbal tea if you prefer?"

In the end I settle for a herbal tea that he recommends. By the time he's finished making it, I've casually removed the gym top that I was wearing when I arrived, so that I'm now bare-chested.

"Hmmm nice", he says, "you don't waste any time do you?"

We move into his lounge area, and sit down opposite each other with our drinks on the coffee table in between.

"I guess you go to the gym quite a bit", he says, looking me up and down.

"Well I'd be there now actually, if you hadn't invited me over :-)"

While I'm chatting to him, I take off my socks and trainers, and soon I'm naked except for my blue gym shorts. He starts looking intently at my shorts, so I slip my hand inside and gently start playing with myself. He watches my hand just moving around inside, and then after a minute or so I gradually edge my shorts down. Boing :-))

"Well, there we are, eh!" he says appreciating my little show.

After another minute or so I look up and see that he's playing with himself too.

"Why don't we both go into my bedroom to continue", he says nervously. Perhaps he's worried that I'll turn him down. But I don't, and we have a lovely, although relatively quick session.

"So whereabouts in France are you from?" I ask him when we're back in his lounge area.

"Just South of Dijon", he says, "a town called Beaune, do you know it?"

"Do I know Beaune? Do I know Beaune?" I say excitedly. "Of course I do, it's at the heart of Burgundy and I just LOVE Burgundy wine. I've even buy some of the best ones as a long term investment."

"Really, what exactly?"

"Well for investment in Burgundy wines I reckon you have to go for DRC or similar. I'm certainly not rich enough to drink wines like that though", I admit. "I've never actually drunk any Romanée-Conti, but I have had some La Tache when other people were paying!"

"Wow, you're talking about the very best there", he says. "But do you drink it too, or just buy as an investment."

"Yeah I also drink it, the cheaper stuff, though not too cheap! I tend to buy by the case."

"What exactly?"

"Well, I'm half way through a couple of cases of Volnay premier crus at the moment, one from 1997 and the other from 1999. The Beaune premier crus I've got from 1995 are stunning too, but unfortunately I've almost finished those off! Do you drink much wine?"

"I think you have more expensive tastes than me", he says enviously, "but I do like good Burgundy wine too. How can you afford that stuff?"

"I work for a bank actually so I'm reasonably well paid", I confess. "I also know a couple of places where one can buy good wine at more reasonable prices that the high street off licence!"

We chat about French wine for a while, but soon it's time to go. I need to get to the gym, and he's meeting a friend for lunch.

Meeting guys for fun is a very enjoyable hobby, and fine wine is a nice hobby two. It's great to be able to enjoy two hobbies with the same person, even if it's a bit bizarre being watched wanking one minute and talking about fine wine the next!

I'd probably drink only Burgundy if I could afford to :) I've just put an order in for some in-bond 2005 Bordeaux and will be ordering more in the next week or so, probably including at least one of my favourite Sauternes (I tend to buy for long-term consumption rather than investment, though).

I bought some of the 2003 en-primeur bill, but I think I'm gonna give the 2005 a miss. Way before I became interested in wine en-primeur might have bee a good deal, but it's not clear to me what the advantage is now.

Horses for courses :) - 2005 seems to have been such an excellent year that I want to have a few cases of some decent wines which I will be able to keep for several years after they are landed in the UK and then sample over a period of years. The wines I'm going for will either be completely unavailable in a few years time or only at very considerably greater cost as there is likely to be huge demand, specially from the US, UK and a few other countries. For example I still have a few bottles of the 1982 vintage, bought in about 1985 - they are a rare treat now - and would probably be very difficult, or impossible, to buy now :)

But all the good stuff comes up for auction at Christies and Sotheby'sbill! Some wines definitely turn out more expensive en primer (e.g. 1997). If you ask me, the optimum time to buy is a few years after initial release, still a long time before the wines have matured and become a focus. That strategy also allows better decisions to be made because with more bottle age the true quality (or not!) is clearer.

Fascinating blog. I get that you are in favour of polyamory, but from your page I can't tell if your 'boyfriend number one' is aware of this - if not, do you struggle with the morality, or indeed the practicality of this?

I'm a polyamorous woman myself, but have put in strenuous work over the last few years to work things through with my primary partner, so that he is aware of, and ok with my other relationships, knowing that he won't be supplanted, and I've started journalling the way this works in my everyday life. I don't think I could cope with the multiple relationships without that blessing though, it would just be far too complicated!

I'm sure I will be back here though, not often I get to hear from other polyamorous people, of any stripe.

sorry this is anonymous, i only started to read this yesterday though have probably got through most of it (!), and i'll get myself a blogger login soon i think. mind if i ask a couple of questions? (answers not obligatory!)

...imagine finding a relatively new blog titled "Things my ex#1 didn't tell me", subtitled "Telling everyone else was more important than telling me". Would it be as compelling read as your blog?

...you're not sharing what's clearly a significant part of your thoughts, energies and desires with a partner, but are happy to do that with a whole lot of anonymous readers. it sounds like you're pretty honest to yourself about your own reasons but don't yet want to give other people the chance to make up their own minds, with all the facts laid bare, about how it might affect them. do you think you're retaining tight control over bf#1 by keeping thinks back?

...if bf#1 has a life, desires, perhaps partners (not just sexual) which you don't know about, would you want to know? why (or why not)? or do you think it unimaginable that he could?

...offering to buy someone a one-bedroom garden flat , whatever the good intentions, is a bit like saying "Would you like a new cardigan for your birthday?". Wouldn't a two-bedroom flat be nicer?

Well Miss Scarlet, boyfriend number 1 definitely knows about boyfriend number 2, and I’ve mentioned another guy (boyfriend number 3) to him on a couple of occasions. So I’m trying to manage the situation gradually. I still love boyfriend number 1 enormously of course, and I don’t want to lose him, but he’s quite traditional in many ways so it’s a bit difficult. I guess you’ve been in the same position given that you say that you’ve “ ... put in strenuous work ...”.

Whoever you are anomymous, I can’t help wondering if you’re an estate agent, given that you’ve embedded a link to a property for sale in E1. That’s exactly the kind of comment I’d usually delete from an anonymous person, but leave if it’s attributable via a blogger login! Anyway, you’ve obviously been reading my blog so I decided to leave it. Actually I do agree with some of your sentiments, but co-incidently I think that my above comment to Miss Scarlet probably explains what’s going on in my mind.

no...not an estate agent and not-yet-a-blogger-but-will-probably-be-one-very-soon, used to live in london but don't at the moment, the question was more of a comment on the picture you've inevitably painted of bf#1 and the controlling aspect mentioned earlier. i'm fascinated by the exhibitionist writing and the obvious parallels in the blog entries together the voyeuristic implications for myself and other readers, that what you consider to be a fun hobby is having real consequences for others. i can't say i've read all the entry comments but there appears to be many sympathetic readers although that's perhaps the intended audience. apologies if my comments appear one-sided at the moment, they're questions that arise from your entries, and personal and friends experiences. you often mention how long you've been in a relationship with bf#1; i don't think the length of time is particularly important...do you? ok...off to create a blogger account...

Actually Dodgy Blogger, I do think the length of time that I’ve been with boyfriend number 1 is relevant because relationships change with age. Also, in spite of e.g. requests from Legal-ize-IT, I do avoid talking about boyfriend number 1 for precisely the reason that you’re alluding to.

I'm a gay man, living in London UK. My blogging pen name is GB, which stands for Gay Banker.

Professionally, I'm an investment banker, which unfortunately is an occupation that's been rather out of favour with the general public in recent years. However, I like to think that I'm one of the good guys :-). I'm also an agony uncle. Please refer to my 'About me' page for more information.

Requests for advice welcome, but please be prepared for anonymous publication in the Dear GB category. Also please check the Dear GB archives in case any of the existing postings can help. Reader's stories also welcome. Note that any e-mails which are accidentally routed to the junk-mail folder will almost certainly get missed.