MC HAMMER AT 1991 MATTEL TOY FAIR

MC Hammer was so popular as a rapper, Mattel made a doll of him. It is clear that Hammer has never seen anything like this before bc this whole thing is completely insane. http://youtu.be/xBSvvEv33ig

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:05 A cameraman calls out "can we get a nice smile MC?" This was just a few years before MC Hammer dropped the "MC" and went with Hammer. I guess the photog had a 50/50 shot there but he'd have been on the right side of history of he'd gone with the latter half of his name.

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:28 This was during the Gulf War so I guess pro-troop messages were fitting but against this bright pink Barbie background, Hammer sending love to the soldiers feels as out of place as his rat tail on a tight fade. Also, he's "sending this one out to all the soldiers?" Sending what? The dolls?

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:46 Crash edit here to Hammer posing with a bride. Seems like an arranged marriage could have been a major part of how this whole MC Hammer doll ever came about. Makes as much sense as anything else.

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:54-:56 The lady escorting Hammer is the secret star of the vid. She gets very excited at the sight of Hammer unzipping his jacket and goes even crazier for his Ferrari pendant. She screams "Ferrari" Hammer is nonplussed. His "ok" response says "I heard you say words but I will not address them."

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1:00 The MC Escort is explaining to Hammer that they tried to make Barbie's Ferrari pink but Ferrari wouldn't let them.

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1:07-1:09 MC Escort passive aggressively whispering to Hammer about Ferrari with a big smile on her face. I am dying to know what she is murmuring about, more than the rest of that joke from Breakfast Club and the final line of Lost in Translation. You can't even lip read her, she's such a pro.

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1:14 Was the Hammer doll supposed to replace Ken?

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1:20 Hammer is a big fan of Barbie lingerie.

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1:30 This was all somehow sponsored by Mattel and McDonalds at the same time. MC Escort aka Ms. Fuck Ferrari gives Hammer a Happy Meal cookie. Hammer hits her with another "okay."

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1:48 MC Escort aka Ms Fuck Ferrari aka Cookies in Your Grill makes sure to point out that the multicultural Barbie line has "all the appropriate skin colors."

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2:16 That little girl is wearing a bright green grown woman blazer in a sea of black outfits.

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2:26 Barbie Talent Show portion

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2:40 Barbie sings like Marilyn Monroe inhaled a canister of helium and swallowed the balloons.

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2:49-2:57 This is actual footage from every bar mitzvah video circa 1988-1997

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4:09 MC Hammer was Jay-Z before Jay-Z was. He made all kinds of endorsement deals but was considered a sellout for it. Maybe the Barbie doll was a little much but don't tell me the streets wouldn't be on fire over a Jay-Z / Beyonce Ken and Barbie set.

When George Mikan died broke, Shaq paid for his funeral because he was the first big man in basketball and he paved the way for all the players after him. If Hammer dies broke, Jigga should do the same thing.