It finally happened. I wasn’t sure when it would go down, but I’m actually writing words down again. Well I am truthfully typing them into a phone and a computer but you know what I mean. I wasn’t writing blogs or music this year until now.

I think I had to take a step back from it all because I almost forgot my mission. For the last few years I had been caught up in staying relevant, showing consistency, and ultimately I became a victim of doing something so long that I needed to see some grand result for the years of effort, and for the naysayers. I don’t know what a naysayer is but I’m guessing it’s someone that says nay quite a bit.
Maybe the Rent Tape Series took so much out of me that I said all that I have to say. Is that possible? Maybe I didn’t reach as many people as I would have liked to. I don’t know if I’m done with the music business yet. I do know the entertainment world is getting scarier everyday. 2 Chainz got robbed in the bay area, Paula Deen confessed to dropping the N-bomb, NFL star Aaron Hernandez solved his problems like a low-level mob member, 50 Cent allegedly cursed out and disowned his son, and rappers are dying before they get famous.

I’m sure 2 Chainz has more that two necklaces so that robbery won’t mean much in the long run, anyone can get caught slipping.

Paula saying the n-word makes sense to me. But we must blame ourselves as brown folks and make a decision about this word. Drake can say it, DJ Khaled can say it, even George Lopez can say it, but Paula can’t. I’m just saying words change over time, and maybe it’s no longer the racist term that it was. I don’t feel that way but if we get mad then we need to analyze it. The word “ratchet” used to be a Native American slur just like “Redskin” (this is totally untrue). And the words “turn” and “up” meant something totally different for the first two-thousand and eleven years of humans keeping track of time.

I thought about the validity of 50’s text convo with his son and I honestly think it’s 100% maybe, possibly real…but it could be totally false. I don’t know what bothered me more, the fact that Curtis got so mean and used profanity through text as opposed to calling his son and cursing…or the fact that he nor his seed has any clue when to use “to,” “too,” “your,” or “you’re” correctly. I guess we can expect a rapper to take the “w” out of “whole” and maybe look “threw” something instead of through it, but not the youngin. I have to imagine the kid is taking English classes in school so some of that stuff should be fresh.

Anyway, Snoop told Aaron Hernandez to keep his head up. And he should keep it up and think about losing his job, some millions, and maybe going to prison for three murders. Dude obviously watched The Sopranos, or The Wire, or Dexter too much when he should have been peeping The First 48 or CSI. I don’t know about murder protocol but I doubt I would call the guy I’m about to kill, then go kill him, and then go home and turn off my security cameras after they film me with a murder weapon. And maybe I would take a look at his cell phone just to see if he hit anyone to tell that person he was about to die. That’s just my way of thinking. Whatever happened to beating somebody up and getting sued? Killing is so final.

And speaking of killings, this year there have been a few homicides involving up-and-coming rappers. I think the media is partly responsible for the moniker that they bestow on anyone who died and had a mixtape. I swear I wanted to get out of that realm just so I would never have to have that connotation attached to me in the afterlife.

Some of these guys you never hear of until someone decides to end their physical existence and it always saddens me. The blogsites post it in their news, famous people react to it, and most of all there are crazy cosigns from nowhere. Diddy said he was great, Wayne was just about to sign him, MC Yung So-and-So was one day away from stardom but tragically he got into beef and it resulted in an early death.

I saw one blog post the amount of Twitter and Instagram followers a rapper had. Or has? I don’t know how that affects the story. Maybe his popularity should tell us how bad we need to feel about his passing. But it definitely made me compare my stats at first glance. Then I thought about getting my numbers up…and there I went again into after earth mode. Then the media finds some link to their tweets or Instagram posts to the death. “Eerily, he was quoting Makaveli two days before his passing.” Or “Eerily he tweeted one of his punchlines yesterday: I’d rather die before somebody kills me…”
And it always has the word, “eerily,” which is the prelude to something mysterious or foreshadowing letting readers know to watch what they say or they could be next. Trust me, I get it. Every time I wrote a rap that sounded morbid or a line that seemed to welcome the end, I thought hard about it. Biggie told us over and over that Ready to Die was metaphoric. Sure Tupac portrayed himself as an angel in Heaven in the “I Ain’t Mad Atcha” video. And we all heard Pun proclaim he lost 100 pounds and was trying to live on “It’s So Hard.”

Death is sneaky as hell. And it gets on people’s nerves. Which is probably why there are so many apocalyptic movies in the summer time. Hollywood feels like if anyone is going to go, we should all do it together when it’s warm.

I cannot lie to you. Whenever I hear about some up-and-coming deceased rapper, there’s a 93% chance that I will Youtube them and check out their music. Is that weird? I don’t critique it or anything because I don’t see that being helpful. I do read a few comments though. I have to say that haters will hate even after you’re gone. I can’t believe how many dislikes dead people can get. I mean I am amazed that some folks really comment about being happy some rapper can’t continue to make
music anymore. I think that’s evil.

But not as evil as Kanye West. The man that named his baby North, and teased us with “Black Skinhead” and “New Slave,” then gave us that Yeezus album.

I like Kanye and I think he’s a genius. I’m not saying I hate his album, I just wish it had different songs on it. It sounds like he was just testing the world to see if we would like it just because his name is on it. Or maybe it’s really good and my ears have to catch up to this futuristic sound. I’m going to go with the first idea I had. And Jay-Z dropped an album as well that I am bending my ears to enjoy more than I do at this moment. Four or five more listens minus that “BBC” song that sounds like an extension of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and maybe I will love it like everyone else.

I can’t say I don’t dig the production but I just wish Timbaland and Jay still had beef. Anyway, I thank you guys for sticking around while I lived life and rapped and got away from the rambles. I am back and I will continue to write down thoughts with the mission to compile enough for another book one day.