This is one involving Ranchers...A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent came up to him and said...
"We got a tip that your are growing illegl drug on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?
The Rancher replied, my business is livestock cattle "that's fine, but you shouldn't go over there" as he pointed to one of the shed at one of his fields.
The FBI agent snapped at him, "I am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!" With that he pulled out his FBI badge and shoved it into the ranchers face....The rancher shrugged this off and continued with his daily chores.
About 15 minutes later he hear a loud scream from the field he had pointed earlier. All of a sudden he could see the FBI agent running for his life with a very large bull on his heels.
The rancher rushed to the fence and yelled...
"YOUR BADGE! ...SHOW YOUR BADGE TO THE BULL!

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night...
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a leccture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late"
The officer, " Oh really........ and Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The Man, "That would be my wife"

Reedition Domingo Esteso by Conde Hermanos 2004; Kenny Hill, model Barcelona 2001
"While you try to master classical guitar, prepare for a slave's life: the guitar will forever be your master and you its slave".

24. On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

25. The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

26. I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

27. Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

28. The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

During an Information Technology Department audit of employee passwords to make sure that employees were following company password guidelines, they discovered that a young, blonde executive assistant was using the following password:

mickeyminnieplutodonaldhueydeweylouiegoofysacramento

When asked why she was using such a long password, she replied, “Someone told me that it had to have at least eight characters and at least one capital.”

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque.

It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”

“Good morning, Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor, what is this?"

The pastor said, “Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,
“Which service, the 8:15 or the 10:30?”

A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''
The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''