martes, 4 de junio de 2013

Shit.

Ive experienced love, ive liked someone so much its hard to fall asleep because you cant stop thinking about them, ive liked someone so much you check on them constantly even when you know whats happening, ive liked someone so much my heart stopped when they were walking by, ive liked someone so much i thought the world was going to end when it was over, ive liked someone so much that i thought of my future along with that person, ive liked someone so much i cared more about them than i cared about me. And Im not only talking about one person, im generalising here. But I do wanna make my point in this… I never really believed in love, I think it makes people look really stupid and full of themselves, craving all that attention and showing all that neediness as if they couldnt be happy with their current lives, but Ive also liked people and I guess Ive been that pathetic too. But Ive never bought flowers for anyone romantically and I wanna point that out because I think that is sooooooooo lame, please, people should stop buying flowers. Its not cute, youre killing plants and looking like a fool. But anyway, I think ive been pathetic enough in my life, but thats something I dont wanna get into right now. But im just wondering and thinking about the people Ive liked and I dont think I actually loved any of them like maybe just one person, ive actually loved. But love is such a strong word and you cant just say “I love you” and lie to yourself into thinking you love that person, its like… If you show selflessness and like forgiveness and trust and SHIT then you can think like wow maybe i do love this person because im being a stupid bitch into letting all this happen (that doesnt make any sense because its just my personal experiences) but okay… Where was I going with this? …. Well, maybe ive never really loved anyone and i can realise that now because for like a month i was thinking like fuck i just wanna be with this person, why is this person being so mean, why is this person doing what this person is doing and now, and we’re talking about today, I feel like I dont care about that person anymore. and i really felt something as I typed that, maybe there is no such thing as love, maybe it only lasts till your brain can take it, till you give up, till you realise it just doesnt fit you. And i know ill like someone eventually or in a year or in some months, i get that. But idk, i dont wanna be this anti-loveguy, I like peeeeeersoooooons. Ok bye. I feel terirble about myself now.