Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My first semester, college was AWESOME. My second semester, college was prettysweet, but I was significantly less satisfied. Although, in retrospect, it was a goodsemester. Last semester, college was good and school was not fun. I felt like Ilearned nothing and I retained little. This semester, college and school are okay andI'm happy, even though I'm frequently bored.

Don't get me wrong, I love college and I love Bridgewater and am still whollycommitted to her. And, it's not so much that I have complaints, it's just that I seea lot of areas where things could be improved. Overall, my college is satisfactory,but there are lots of little details that could really make it awesome.

In regards to this, there is a continuum (surprise, surprise) that goes from harpingon every little detailed flaw on one end to ignoring those details and being passiveand satisfied on the other. In the middle lies a balance of active participation instriving for greater satisfaction. So, no, I'm not going to list the little details thatbug me. From now on, I'm going to try and filter out what I believe really is not soimportant from what I think really does need changed. And we'll see what I end upwith and what is actually feasible to change.

There is a continuum that goes from considering every positive possibility and beinggreatly dissatisfied on one end to being stagnantly satisfied and ignoring everypossibility for greater satisfaction on the other.

Surprise, satisfaction.

Well, that's what I'm THINKING. Let's talk about what I'm DOING.

Psychology Research MethodsEhhh. My professor is very much close to my conceptualization of a utopia professor,according to my "If I Were a Teacher." And I like the class, it just has a tendencyto not keep me awake because so much of this is review from Socio Methods-I lastsemester. It also has the potential to muddle things in my head because it is verymuch overlapping with Socio Methods-II and the styles of these professors are a bitdifferent and learning the same information twice in slightly different ways withslightly different details potentially causes some confusion. Also, this course willbe a good opportunity to practice empowerment and transformational leadershipbecause I am fairly confident in my knowledge of this information and am planningto relent a lot of power to other people for the group project so that they can getthe most out of the learning experience. Third test on Friday. I met with my prof.this afternoon to finalize and confirm the psych classes I am taking next year for myminor and we also momentarily discussed methods class and how he can frequentlyfeel (and empathize with) my boredom and how he should not be concerned if I stepback within the group project in order to empower my classmates to learn.

Today, we were working on our project methodology and there was a pretty starkconflict because two of our members were opposed to ( as in, "not at all interested in")the design that had been determined last week. It was weird. Thanks to Group Process,I was extremely aware of the tension. Or, thanks to Group Process, I saw where tensionshould be and succeeded in fabricating how the group felt. Maybe that's what Iunderstand least about Group Process... I'm starting to see when typical group events(ie, conflict) occur, but an observer (whether internal or external, overt or covert) cannotinfer that every member of the group feels the typical feeling associated with specificevents. …which I guess is okay, as long as the observer recognizes that. Reflexivity.

GeologyGeology is a fine gen ed class. Lots of millions and billions and lots of kids whodon't pay nearly enough attention, but it's okay. I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite.Second test on Wednesday. I do enjoy the concepts we’re learning, but the class reallydrags on. It’s from 10-10:50am and, every time I look at the clock expecting class tobe nearly over, it’s only ~10:30am.

Group ProcessWeird weird weird weird WEIRD class. At first, it made me super super nervous.Then, I really started to enjoy it and it was my favorite and it was awesome. Now?I really don't like it much at all. I do feel like I am learning a lot about group processand, in terms of the COURSE, it's great. In terms of the CLASS, I feel quite a bit oftension, although it's usually below the surface. [insert previous discussion of tensionhere] For the course term paper, I am observing Jazz Band. So far, it’s been prettysweet because I already knew I love ethnography and ethnography-like things. Thehardest part is the fact that I have to observe and participate at the same time. It can bereally overwhelming. I wonder if anyone in Jazz Band has gotten the feeling that I’mcreeping on them. Anyway. The outline for that paper consists of Humor, Authority,Subgroups by Section, and Cliques. So yeah, I definitely like the class more than I likethe course. Yay, Sociology!

Social InequalityBeing polite, this course is fluff. It is a 400-level course and has so much potential to bereally enriching. After all, it is a required course for Sociology majors. Last week, as astudy of the effects of class inequality, we watched The Notebook. I feel like it wouldhave been a more enriching and applicable choice to watch The Aristocats. (and, whileThe Notebook is good, The Aristocats is AWESOME) There's a really strange disconnectin the course. The professor always emphasizes how this is a 400-level course and weare expected to execute 400-level Sociological thought and analysis. But instead, we're beingtold how to formulate paper intros and thesis statements, watching The Notebook, andjust skimming the surface of an analysis of inequality. Watch out, future students of thiscourse, I'm going to tear it apart on the evaluation. I'm also going to suggestwatching The Aristocats in future semesters. That is my gift to you.

Socio Methods-IIGoing well. I'll have more to say once data analysis begins. Data collection closed todayand I have all of my data entered, as of 4pm today. I’m probably going to back off a bitfrom helping my classmates so much. Maybe. It’s frustrating and time-consuming, but Ifeel somewhat obligated. Compassion? I dunno. But we have tutors… But I understandstudents probably feel more comfortable asking a peer rather than a professor or tutor…But… Empowerment, empowerment, empowerment. Right? Right.

Also, there was ridiculous drama Wednesday and Thursday between some studentsover the homework that was due Thursday. It was ridiculous. In class on Thursday, theprofessor admitted that he had not explained the assignment sufficiently and that pointswould be given for either of the two answers that were ill-explained. There was no realreason for all the drama that occurred. So yeah, I’ll try to be more empowering, but whatreally needs to happen is for everyone to take personal responsibility for their own stuffand not judge their correctness based on the answers of another student. Ughhhh.

PianoAlso going well, although I feel like I'm learning significantly less literature than anyprevious semester. But that's perfectly fine with me. The Beethoven piece took a lot oftime and I did that for the General Recital last week. The Mozart piece is different thanwhat I usually learn, but it's fairly simple. I started with the second movement and havestarted working on the first movement, but haven't played it for my teacher yet. Andthen there's the Scarlatti piece. I learned a Scarlatti sonata last semester and tackledit with relative ease. But this semester's piece is killing me. Well, kind of. I just don't particularlylike it. I'm not sure if the difference in Scarlatti experiences is due to a difference betweenthe pieces or a difference between piano teachers.

Today, my teacher and I spent the entire 30-minute lesson working on the Scarlatti piece.He had me tear it apart by working hands separately and writing down fingerings. Hesaid the moral of today that, for anything you’re going to do that you’re less than familiarwith, you need to have a plan. Life lessons from Dr. Taylor. :)

JazzAlso going well. Not much to say because we’re currently experiencing the liminalitybetween the high from a really great concert and the commitment to working toward thenext concert.

LibraryWorking at the library is probably one of my favorite things about Bridgewater, actually.I wonder if I could get a library job for a few hours a week wherever I decide to go toGrad School. You know, in addition to a real job and/or an internship. I love seeing somany people in such a short time and serving as a distraction from homework for peoplewho want to stop by and talk. It’s the best.

Book ClubTo counteract the boredom I had been experiencing earlier in the semester, I met withmy PDP advisor, who is an English Professor, to discuss the possibility of starting aninformal book discussion club. We’re doing it. For right now, as far as I know, it’ll bejust him and me, but we’re meeting on Friday to discuss Neuromancer. I’m superexcited that he’s excited about my dystopian list of books to read. SUPER excited.

French Horn

After not touching my French horn all year, I met with Dr. Weir on Friday to makesure it was in tune, learn a bit about French horn, and have a very simple beginnerlesson. It’s feasible, but it’s going to take some time and I probably won’t be ableto devote enough time to it during the rest of the semester. We’ll see. Summer goalnumber one!

Housing

In a last minute scramble, I applied for an RA position for next year and had aninterview. I didn’t get the position, but I found three new apartment mates and the fourof us will be living in the Stone Village next year. SUPER excited.

Additionally, I dyed my hair “violet soft black” on Saturday and dyed “soft black” overthat because it was too light and too purple. Well, not really too purple. It was in a weirdmiddle area where it was neither purplepurple or if it was purplyblack. It’s now mostlyblack with some reddish-purple undertones and I love it. SUPER excited.

Also, my HOBY friend in Baltimore posted about a Matt and Kim show on June 1 andI said that I would come down to attend that with her. I happened to browse the othershows that were occurring at the venue and saw that Iron and Wine (opening with TheLow Anthem) was playing on April 20. I’m going. Even though it’s a school night, eventhough I’ll have to drive three hours up to see the show and three hours down for myThursday 8am and three hours on Thursday to go home for Easter. Theoretically, I couldjust bail on my Thursday classes and go straight home from Baltimore, but Jazz Bandis supposed to be playing a set at the retirement community that afternoon. But eventhough, I’m going. SUPER excited.

Also, I added semester end-date to my criteria for prospective grad schools and all of theschools on my current list (Pitt, Bryn Mawr, Gallaudet) end early enough for me to keepattending HOBY. HOBY every year for the rest of my life, forever. SUPER excited.

And, on an unrelated note, I think "army wives," "army girlfriends," and the likeserve a really important purpose for the mental health of spoken-for militarymembers. Sure, the soldiers want to return home to their family, neighborhood, andso on, but there's even more motivation to stay alive when a significant relationship(ie, romantic) is involved. I wonder if military members are even more susceptibleto mental health breakdown due to the breakup of their military-civilian relationship.Or maybe they use denial by focusing even more on their military life? Or maybecivilians generally avoid ending civilian-military relationships while their significantother is away? That seems plausible.

And, finally, in conclusion, I'm really sorry if my posts tend to be redundantrestatements of what I've said before. I have experienced conversations where eachnew conversation is a shallow rehashing of everything that's already been covered.And I don't want to do that, so I hope I'm able to be a bit deeper in my redundanciesthan simply repeating what I've said before with no additional insight(s).