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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

wildly random

I am gleefully perceiving that my hands have been much too tightly wrapped around my life. My heart and my thoughts have been too filled with me. My cares and worries, my dreams and imaginings have draped across me like a well liked fur. Beautiful death surrounding slim shoulders pretending it's stylish when it's really just a dead dog. So, let's shed some skin.

I am not as important as I think I am. I am more important than I realize.

I am beautiful. I am not the most beautiful woman in the world.

I'm the only person who cares how much I weigh. Unless I weigh 300lbs then the world will want to watch me lose it.

No one cares if I have gum on my shoe. I care. I care very much.

I am not a perfectionist. It would do me well to be at least a little perfect.

I should eat better. I should not worry so much about how I eat.

I am talented. It would serve me well to be talented at more than keeping my house clean.

My heart cannot contain more love. I should love others more. It would make room.

I have amazing friends. I am not the best listener. They truly are amazing.

I have never done well with restrictions. I am so thankful I live under grace.

And wistfully I sit, watching the clouds roll by, head on a rock, my breath lets out on a sigh. It could be enough to rest in this place, unmoved, letting life pass, while I live it out simply in my mind. But the laughter of children rings through the cool air and swings that are waiting to be pushed, little legs longing to kick sit limply in the air. Waiting til I push past my thoughts to be present in the moments of their lives. Rather the forefront of their minds, not a shadow passing slightly behind.

ABOUT ME

Hi. Welcome to my blog. I am deeply passionate and filled with wellsprings of joy. I have experienced wild and crazy life and I hope to share as much of that as I feel like. It's been hard and it's been good, as all live's worth living will attest. I have ripped open the secret places of my heart and share about overcoming eating disorders and having a healthy relationship with food. I talk candidly about raising children and the joys and struggles that follow. This life I live is not perfect. I hope that it never is. Feel free to email me with any questions you may have or if you need encouragement in your own situation. I am an open book and when I die, I hope I've been well read.