frustrated….i feel so awkward….the date is coming so near and things got pretty rough on me…i couldn’t afford to handle so many things at one time…not now…and above all, i cant tolerate the constant misunderstanding between him and me…

i admit tat i can be sensitive at times…tat is the ugly part,the good part is i can easily be comforted…and straightaway i’ll dissolve the issue…case closed…as simple as tat….the unlucky part is he doesn’t play his role…he always avoid calling me or smsing me for he thinks that i need my own space to cool down…which is ssssssoooooooooo wrong…..he loves to do that to shoo the arguements and the QA session…which will only double my pain..

n yesterday he did it again…we argue over some issue on the phone after work…it hurts me so much..and yet he did not even try to msg me…only after a few hours of agony,he text me…sorry -tats what he said….it ended there…i didn’t reply hoping that he’ll call…if i where in his shoes tat exactly i’ll react…i will text first and wait for the reply,n if i got none,i’ll jump to my cell phone and press the button to call…and say sorry…

i continued with my regime…i was so exhausted,but i cant barely force my eyes to sleep…so i switched on tv..i watched CSI,HOUSE n NIP TUCK..just to kill the time, so tat i wont bother waiting for one phone call…it’s nearly 12 when i got another msg telling me that he just got back frm his fren’s place…to HIGHLIGHT my state of emotion, i replied OK…tat was a big hint to indicate that i was not interested in whatever your activity is but i need u to contact me asap..i waited and i waited..it’s 1 already…i decided not to wait anymore….i switched off my cell phone and put myself to sleep..i tossed around and told my brain not to think anymore…i told my system to relax and comfort myself…and throw away my sweet adorable pillow…it doeesn’t help much,for last night it just drives me mad….it really does…

i am not sure whether tis is approppriate…but i think it works best to channel out my emotion…i write…and perhaps it will heal…even if its not,it’ll ease up a bit…hope you’ll understand….the simple rule is just that- delaying is not an option,it does not make things better it works the other way round…