Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I'm Ready To Get Out of This Place

I just looked at the school calendar, and I have twenty school days left in this awesome school. *gag* Nineteen if you don't count senior skip day. Which the counting of senior skip day would be a bit redundent, now, wouldn't it? Because it's not a school day if you aren't there. Is it? No. The great thing is that my last week of school will be full of half days. I graduate from the career center on May 29. Then, a month from tomorrow, I graduate from here for good. Words cannot express how awesome that is.

However, at the same time, I'm willing time to stop. I have seven weeks left in the country. Maybe. I have seven weeks to get the money I need. I would be lying if I said that my faith wasn't taking a huge hit right now. I did what I was supposed to, now where is the provision? I'm ready to go there. I really am. After I took the AP Exam yesterday, I felt like, "Okay, my Spanish education is complete. Can I please go do something with it?" But, at this point, if it isn't going to work out, I just wish I knew so that I could go find a job and get my license, to get money because I already missed the deadline to go to college this Fall. I must say that I'm not thrilled about that. I don't want to have given up a semester of college for nothing. The thought just irks me.

I know I'm supposed to have more faith than this. I know that I know what I'm supposed to do and God will provide and all of the other things that I get sick of people telling me because I hear it a million times and it's still not happening. I know it, already. This just isn't something that I can wait until the last minute to be fulfilled and I am getting very scared. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.