On Friday, May 25, 2001, at 11:08 AM, Joe Crawford wrote:
> ** warning horrible imagery and bitter sarcasm ahead **
And I'm just going to add to the horror and bitterness...
> I'm right now remembering taking care of a girl (I was monitoring her
> airway, and taking care of her ventilator [the machine which breathed
> for
> her] ) - 9 or 10 years old, with buckshot embedded in her face, chest,
> and
> arms - bloodied in the aftermath of her father shooting her and her
> brother.
> (He might have shot the mother as well, but I don't remember).
>> For me, choosing to believe that there's "more behind it" with regards
> to
> this incident is at odds with a sane god. Why does this "God" choose to
> give
> some business a new client, while on the other hand allowing a young
> girl to
> get riddled with bullets?
I hear you Joe.
When I was 14 I had to watch my brother (12) die of leukemia. He had
pneumonia, had wasted away from the chemo, had tubes in every vein. His
frail body simply gave up.
Someone gave my parents a copy of "Why bad things happen". I couldn't
have been more resentful. I was just a kid, but having anyone try to
tell me that god was watching and that it was part of a plan made me
want to punch them in the face. No comfort there. That little white
book was nothing more than a reminder of the suffering that I had
witnessed.
My parents rediscovered the church at that time. I hated it. I was
never much of a church goer, and I was even less inclined to find
anything of use then. What kind of comfort is there in a group of
strangers who sheepishly hold hands when they sing, don't look at each
other, blindly stand, sit, and kneel when the time comes for that. It
was all empty. Eventually, even my parents gave up on it.
Having some old Jesuit try to tell me that there was a plan just invoked
anger. Plan? Are you fucking kidding me? How is any plan furthered by a
12 year old boy dying? I see chaos more than plans. I do not believe
in miracles. "Miracles" are nothing more than seeing the details you
choose to see in the chaos that surrounds us. I don't care about
religion. For me, it's just empty.
Any peace I have found has been from within or from those I love and
love me. No religion gives me that.
If it works for you, though, have at. Whatever makes you happy. I'll not
challenge beliefs as long as they aren't imposed upon me.
bob
--
bob davis
bobd at members.evolt.org