If you were weirded out by Bob Dylan's Christmas album, avert your ears: Senator Orrin Hatch, a Mormon Republican from Utah, has given Jews a "gift" by writing them a Hanukkah song. What is Yiddish for: "Jesus fucking Christ"?

While Dylan's highly-Dylanesque x-mas songs were tolerable, if unnecessary, this is just awful:

This is exactly what the Maccabees had in mind when they defeated the Greeks.

According to the Times, Hatch wrote the song at the request of Atlantic writer Jeffery Jeffrey (thanks for the correction, Jeff!) Goldberg, as a gift to the Jews. So we blame you, Jeffrey, for ruining an already kind of lame holiday (as every Jew knows, Passover is where it is really at.) Though it doesn't show, Hatch is apparently a prolific songwriter, penning such patriotic classics as "Heal Our Land," which was performed at Bush's 2005 inauguration. Which, OK, they deserved it.