"I Was 100% Faithful to That Man"

Shanna Moakler Opens Up About Her Bitter Breakup with Travis Barker

Four hours a day, Shanna Moakler loses herself in the mambo. "My partner flings me all over the place," says the upcoming Dancing with the Stars contestant, who's grateful for the new hobby. "This helped keep my mind off of things."

Last month, her husband and Meet the Barkers costar, Travis Barker (the former Blink-182 drummer), filed for divorce and told the press she'd cheated on him and neglected their kids. "My No. 1 priority is my children. Shanna didn't have that same feeling," Barker, 30, told PEOPLE, referring to daughter Alabama, 9 months, son Landon, 2, and stepdaughter Atiana, 7 (Moakler's child with boxer Oscar De La Hoya). After four years together, Moakler, 31, felt betrayed. "I cried a lot," she says. "I thought this was the man I'd grow old with."

Moakler denies Barker's charges. "I was 100 percent faithful to that man," she says, adding that Barker's suspicions wore her down. "When he left, I was almost relieved," she says. "I wasn't tiptoeing around the house afraid to say anything." The 1995 Miss U.S.A. also maintains she's a good mom: "I'm very active in making sure my children are well-adjusted and balanced." Barker's response? "He continues to love Shanna and wants the best for their children," says his rep, adding that Barker and Paris Hilton (with whom he was spotted in Vegas last weekend) are "just friends."

Despite their feud, Moakler is glad they'll have joint custody of the kids and hopes for a reconciliation. "I love the fairy tale of getting back together," she says, but "Travis has a lot of soul searching to do; he needs to make himself happy before [he] can make others happy. But I'd love that."