Casie Adams is addicted to snacking on her late husband’s ashes, sometimes as often as five times a day. Recently widowed, Adams admits on TLC’s ‘My Strange Addiction‘ that she fell into the odd, arguably grotesque habit of dipping her moistened finger into her husband’s cremains and licking off the charred powder and can’t stop doing it.

The practice began when Adams accidentally dirtied her hands with her late husband’s ashes and felt it would be disrespectful to just to wash them off. Though she found the experience unpleasant at first (she compares the taste to rotten eggs), the act eventually came to give her pleasure. She also says it has helped her lose weight–she claims to have lost 47 pounds since her husband passed away.