Monday, March 21, 2011

Ark Music Factory: Mass Producing Wannabe Famous Preteens

Factories can be good things - they create the products we all know and love. But what's one thing that shouldn't be made in factories? Auto-tuned songs sung by mildy talented preteens.

'You must be this tall to ride this ride' is clearly not a phrase that Ark Music Factory believes in.

I was watching The Soup on E! when Joel McHale started mocking the songs mass produced by Ark Music Factory. I did a little research and listened to "Friday" by Rebecca Black and "My Jeans" by Jenna Rose and Baby Trigga. The songs seem to follow the same pattern: begin with a pop song about something totally pointless and mom friendly, followed by a 'rap-style' interlude, and concluding with some more mom-friendly lyrics.

I watched some video responses to Ark Music Factory on YouTube and can truly understand the anger of some people at how Ark Music Factory is exploiting the kids in these videos. It's noted that one girl is only nine years old, and the company seems to be telling her - and others - that they can be female versions of Justin Beiber. Well, there's a big difference between Alana Lee and Justin Beiber, mainly that Justin Beiber is actually quite talented (despite the fact that it pains me to say that) and is, well, famous.

One thing that really gets me about the Ark Music Factory is that the girls in the videos look so dead inside. If you watch the videos, they're just mouthing along with their lyrics, which aren't even good. Their eyes say nothing. You can stare right through them and see no emotion or excitement. Shouldn't a young girl recording her first single be excited? Apparently not, according to the mass produced videos from Ark Music Factory.

I'm not saying the kids 'discovered' by Ark Music Factory are entirely untalented, but they certainly aren't Justin Beiber material. And, apparently their parents don't even think they're that talented, although they do think the kids have a shot - they actually pay Ark Music Factory for the songs and video production for their kids. (That answers the question of how soulless a parent must be to put their kids in this teen talent factory...very!) That being said, when her song went viral, the madness actually worked for Rebecca Black, despite the fact that her song "Friday" is well below mediocre and it sounds like she's got serious nasal allergies when she says the word Friday.

The sick thing about the kid churning music factory is that it can work, as it has for Rebecca Black. She's making loads of cash because her song went viral. The thing is, this will only encourage more fame-whoring kids and their parents, and give them the hope that their child will be the (pardon the fact that I have to say this) next Rebecca Black.

Oh, yeah, one more thing - the caption for Alana Black, who Ark Music Factory is trying to make famous next, is "the girl who introduced Rebecca Black to Ark Music Factory." Nice, guys. Really nice.