Movie Man: 'Six Million Dollar Man' arrives on DVD

Will Pfeifer

Friday

Nov 19, 2010 at 12:01 AMNov 19, 2010 at 7:15 PM

Back in the mid-1970s, before “Star Wars” rocked my world, I was all about “The Six Million Dollar Man.” I didn’t care if it was corny, and I didn’t notice that, despite its premise, it was decidedly low-tech. All I knew was there was nothing cooler than a guy with bionic parts (two legs, one arm, one eye) who went on secret missions, battled bad guys and, in a memorable handful of shows, matched wits with Bigfoot. The show, including three made-for-TV movies, ran from 1973 until 1978, and I must’ve watched every episode. If you would’ve told me that, someday in the future (when bionics would be real) I could own every episode to watch whenever I wanted, I think my head might’ve exploded.

Back in the mid-1970s, before “Star Wars” rocked my world, I was all about “The Six Million Dollar Man.”

I didn’t care if it was corny, and I didn’t notice that, despite its premise, it was decidedly low-tech. All I knew was there was nothing cooler than a guy with bionic parts (two legs, one arm, one eye) who went on secret missions, battled bad guys and, in a memorable handful of shows, matched wits with Bigfoot. The show, including three made-for-TV movies, ran from 1973 until 1978, and I must’ve watched every episode. If you would’ve told me that, someday in the future (when bionics would be real) I could own every episode to watch whenever I wanted, I think my head might’ve exploded.

And, as I sit here typing, looking at the just-released boxed set that contains all those shows, plus all the TV movies, plus hours and hours of extras, I still think my head may explode from the excess, the absurdity and the sheer, well, coolness of it all. Somehow, the mere fact that this box exists makes the world a better, goofier place. (The fact that the box also recites the show’s opening narration is the bionic icing on the cake.)

In case you’re not an old man like me, “The Six Million Dollar Man” was the story of Steve Austin, a former astronaut who was horribly injured in an accident and then rebuilt with high-tech parts — “better, stronger, faster” as that opening narration memorably described. Able to lift great weights (well, at least with his right arm), see great distances (with his left eye) and run fast (up to 60 mph), Steve kept the world safe for truth, justice and the 1970s version of the American way.

Make no mistake: “The Six Million Dollar Man" wasn’t a great TV show. If you were born after the show died and you’re expecting a fast pace or intricate plots, well, that’s not how we did things in the 1970s. Things were more laid back then, and though there was plenty of action in each episode of “The Six Million Dollar Man,” it was served up sparingly. That superstrength, vision and speed relied more on Lee Majors’ enjoyably low-key performance than expensive special effects, and the pace actually slowed down when Steve Austin sped up. But kids like me loved it, and why not? It was easy to understand, exciting to watch and simple to duplicate when we re-enacted each episode on the playground. Best of all, before the age of irony when every screen moment comes with a knowing wink, “The Six Million Dollar Man” played it straight. The show might’ve been for kids, but it never made you feel dumb for liking it.

And if you’re an ex-kid like me who grew up watching Steve Austin and now has the necessary cash to reinvest in your childhood, you can’t do better than this box from Time-Life. Every single episode of the show is included on 40 (yikes!) DVDs, plus there’s a bonus case of five DVDs devoted to interviews, features examining the show’s considerable pop culture affect and all three of the reunion movies. If it has anything to do with “The Six Million Dollar Man,” it’s somewhere in this box.

Admittedly, it’s not cheap — the whole set, in fact, will cost you $239.95. But compared with $6 million, doesn’t that sound like a bargain?

Contact Will Pfeifer at wpfeifer@rrstar.com or 815-987-1244. Read his blog at blogs.e-rockford.com/movieman.

Make room in your collection

Some DVDs out Tuesday:

“Beauty and the Beast”: This two-disc release is being promoted as a “Diamond Edition,” which I’m guessing means that the executives of Disney figured out a way to earn enough money to buy extra diamonds for their wives this Christmas — as long as you buy a copy.

“The Expendables”: Sylvester Stallone (who also writes and directs) teams up with Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and other big-muscled fellas to kill a bunch of badguys. Keep an eye out for a certain governor of California. (Trivia note: He also used to be an action-movie star!)

“Eat Pray Love”: Funny how this opened the same weekend in theaters as “The Expendables” and now it’s being released on video the same day. My advice is to stick with “The Expendables,” of course.

“America Lost and Found: The BBS Story”: This boxed set collects some of the most influential movies of the late 1960s and early 1970s, including “Easy Rider,” “The Last Picture Show” and
“Five Easy Pieces” — plus the Monkees’ surreal epic “Head.”

“The Situation Workout”: If “Jersey Shore” and his new book (!) didn’t satisfy your craving for the Situation, here’s a DVD of workout routines. Enjoy.

“I’m Still Here”: Remember when Joaquin Phoenix was in that documentary about how he was going crazy, and people wondered if it was real or fake. Well, it was fake. And now it’s on DVD.

And CDs:

Kanye West, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”: Between George Bush mentioning him in his autobiography and tangling with Matt Lauer on the “Today” show, Kanye has had a really interesting promotional tour for this album.

My Chemical Romance, “Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys”: The band combines its love of comic books and science fiction on this disc, which creates fictional personalities and an epic tale for the band to act out musically.

Jessica Simpson, “Happy Christmas”: As I’ve said, ’tis the season for pop stars to cash in with a quick album of Christmas songs.

Scott Weiland, “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: And somehow, a Christmas album seems even stranger when it comes from lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver (and frequent substance abuse poster boy) Scott Weiland.

Perry Como, “The Complete Christmas Collection”: At least Perry Como is the sort of guy you expect to release a Christmas CD.

Lunatic Soul, “Lunatic Soul 2”: Note to Lunatic Soul: Just adding a “2” to the end of your band name does not make for an interesting or original album title.

— Will Pfeifer

Sources: thedigitalbits.com, tophitsonline.com

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