Regrets

(Originally posted on October 29th 2009)

“Regrets? I’ve had a few,

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.”

I have started reading a book called “Too big to fail.” So far it is really good. It deals with the months prior to the collapse of Lehman, AIG and how the other banks were “saved”. It is a perfect scary halloween read for people in the investment field. I wonder whether any of them regrets any of the decisions they made.

I do not believe in regrets. So far I do not have any. However lately I am starting to regret one episode. This one episode is something I regret professionally and personally. The funny thing is that if I had not taken that business decision then I would not have had the regret in my personally life but that decision was followed by one of the best periods of my life. There is a possibility that in both these cases I acted too fast. I do not know. However that whole episode has made me hesitant and made me less trustful of others. I hope this does not effect me too much but I know that a lot of dreams I had were dashed. Now I am afraid to dream. I do not want to dream because I do not want my hopes to fall like a pack of cards. I am also scared to dream because a lot of my dreams come true. Sometimes I do not want to sleep because of that. The curse of the number 8. A highly spiritualistic number, a number that personifies struggle, a number that can bring success but at a cost. Sometimes the cost can be too great and I know that I may have to pay a high cost. I think right now my life reads more like “When Geniuses Fail.” rather than “Too Big to Fail.”