Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of it's wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. Every crazy, weird and wacky quote is straight from the pens of Armstrongite leaders or members who think they possess some insight into God and the Bible. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Holy Golden Oil of Gerald Flurry

The sickness spreads:

Just turned on my laptop after getting up from my knees this morning
when I read about this event concerning Mr. Gerald Flurry. Had to go
back down on my knees to petition our Father, the Great God in Heaven,
to restore our beloved Apostle’s health back to normal again. We truly
need to back up and support our Apostle with more of our prayers for his
health and continuing vitality during this more challenging times as we
get closer and closer to the very climax of the last hour. We need to
hold up his arms more steadfastly as the war we are fighting against
Satan and his minions continues to heat up.

Golden oil?

Praying for your speedy recovery Mr Flurry . We love you and really look forward to receiving more golden oil through you .

The good news is that Geralds sermons are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad they are enraging Satan:

My prayers are and thoughts are with Mr. Flurry I have asked God to give
him extra protection especially now when he delivers these exceptional
sermons that enrage Satan.

Mean old SATAN seems to be getting soft as the centuries wear on. Job got his livestock killed, his children killed, and boils all over him. Flurry has a faint. But it just wouldn't go over as well if the writers said "Sorry you're getting old, Gerry..."

I forget the name of the movie, but there was one a few years back in which the younger Christian men and women of the early Church era would visit St. John, the last surviving apostle, and ask him questions to which only he knew the answer, like what it was like to see Lazarus raised from the dead. They really displayed a lot of love and reverance for him because of his close relationship to Jesus.

Somehow, back in SEP, as I listened to my friend Don bitterly complaining about his brother Gerald lording it over him, It never occurred to me that his oppressor would one day be revered as a similar kind of Armstrongite apostle. I can't even fathom the mindset of these Flurryites.

One would have thought that this would have dried up back in 1975, but somehow it has reinvented itself into countless parallel planes of human existence.

A joke for the day: Why does God allow Armstrongism to exist? To keep bad ministers away from the Christian Churches.

It may have been a dream, but I remember an episode of Batman- a scene in which Batman and Robin were in the Batcave on their knees praying their bat-asses off, petitioning the Lord with prayer for help in fighting special guest villain Gerzarro the Kog King. After they prayed, they checked their Bat-bibles for clues, and in short order Robin shouted, "HOLY GOLDEN OIL, BATMAN!" The next scene was Batman and Robin duking it out with Gerzarro the Kog King and his King James Elders, and Gerzarro threw exploding canisters (disguised as beer cans) of fainting gas at the Dynamic Duo. Thankfully, Batman had anti-fainting pills in his bat-zerubub-belt, which protected Batman and Robin from the fainting gas. While the Dynamic Duo pretended to be passed out, Gerzarro the Kog King and his King James Elders crept into the caged trap Batman had set for them(baited with a six-pack of beer). Batman then delivered the fiends to Police Commissioner Gordon who promptly incarcerated them. They were given frequent showers of 'Holy Golden Oil' piped from of the urinal drain of fellow inmate Riddler Weinland.The end.

Sadly and of course, some people don't really "get" Christmas and what the TRUE players involved are.Folks, God has provided us with 'Spirit-filled' people on Fox News to tell us the Truth about Christmas!The "war on Christmas" just get's me sooo mad! Every time Baby Jesus hears about it, He probably soils his golden diapers!Thankfully, there's people like Megyn Kelly on Fox News to also get mad when she hears the "black Santa" and "black Jesus" heresies, and tell us it's a "verifiable fact" that Santa and Jesus are both white people.