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I am a professional swimmer, and the rest of my swimming team quite frequently came over to my house to 'cool down' after training. Not trying to brag or anything, but I have a very large pool so it seemed only natural that a lot of the team would come over and hang out frequently. You could think of my pool as my PS3, everyone came over to play in it. Anyways, getting back to the story, one day I had the house to myself so the entire team (about 20 guys) came over for drinks. A few drinks turned into a few dozen drinks, and to make a long story short we all went skinny dipping in my pool. Being the drunk idiots that we were, we were doing lots of stupid things. For instance, the neighbours cat kept hanging around so for no real reason we started splashing it with water just to piss the rank bastard off. The cat was not happy, and it gave me a look that I will never forget. Being drunk, however, meant that I didn't give a shit and I ignored what I can only interpret in hindsight as a stern warning. After an hour or two of skinny dipping with all the boys, and splashing the cat with water whenever it came within 'splashing range', we all decided that we'd had more than enough to drink and decided to call it a night. We all got out of the pool, one by one, butt naked. I don't know why exactly, but all of the team continued to stand around naked for several minutes just chatting after getting out of the pool. It was during this time that I saw the cat approach in the corner of my eye, but I thought nothing of it. "Oh look, its that shit-eating cat again", I thought to myself. I should have known better; a cat never hangs around for no reason. Without warning, the cat suddenly turned its homosexual strut into a sprint and ran straight towards us in all of our naked glory, launching itself into the air as if it had wings. "ARGHHHHHHH" I heard tom yell, "GET IT THE FUCK OFF!!". Without warning, the cat had launched its retaliation for being splashed with water; it had severed Tom's penis off with surgical precision, and had already launched itself onto the next, nearest, dangling penis. Being extremely intoxicated and inebriated, we were defenceless, and within minutes the neighbours cat had attacked, and in some cases consumed, the genitals of half the swimming team. Whilst this was occuring, the cat was purring the entire time; seemingly proud of its counter-strike on our manhood.

If our neighbour had a dog instead of a cat, several men would still have functioning anatomy. Alas, we don't. Conclusion: the OP is lucky to have a dog instead of a cat. It just saved his genitals.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. Gamataf naked. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.