The leader of the pearl-clutching "pro-family advocacy" group One Million Moms has reluctantly ended its boycott of JCPenney after the retailer (under pressure from a social media furor and GLAAD) stood by its decision to appoint Ellen DeGeneres as its spokesperson.

The director of the group, Monica Cole, says that the group has moved on to other petty social issues, but offered a parting jab before getting on her self-righteous high horse and riding into the sunset:

But we have heard back from so many of our members. We have heard back from men and women — not just moms — saying they will no longer shop there at JCPenney, as long as Ellen DeGeneres is their spokesperson.

Ick. Cole added that JCPenney's god-fearing consumers "want to spend their money with companies that have the same values as them," which they clearly can no longer do at JCPenney since the retailer chose a spokesperson who, as a gay woman, somehow cannot embody the good Christian, conservative [sic: medieval] values of the store's Christian founder. And by the way — Cole thinks it's interesting that Fitch Ratings recently downgraded JCPenney's credit rating to "junk," a downward trend I'm sure has everything to do with the retailer reaching out to a popular celebrity pitch woman and nothing at all to do with all that Christian loot they're losing out on.
[HuffPo, One News Now.]

If you think Linsanity is wild now, just wait until the Jeremy Lin motion picture hits an art house theater probably not very near to you. Lin has made fans out of such celebrities as Fabolous, Manny Pacquiao, and Michael Rapaport, the latter of who has it on good authority that a Lin documentary is an imminent possibility: "Jeremy Lin is definitely going to get a documentary. I don't know if Spike Lee's claimed the rights to it or whatever - I know he's been all over that." Rapaport then tempered his enthusiasm by adding that this documentary might just be "an ESPN 30 for 30." Even though Spike Lee would probably make a great basketball documentary, — about a Knicks player, no less — wouldn't you rather see this fabled film in the hands of someone who has a little more in common with Lin, in so far as his involvement would seem, like Lin's rise to fame, unprecedented? Someone, say, like Werner Herzog, whose stern, Bavarian cadence I can already hear over a slow-motion shot of Lin dribbling in an empty gymnasium: "Jeremy Lin is and athlete both deft and brilliant, not at all like the chicken, an animal I despise for its clumsy stupidity." [MTV]

Jwoww is being sued by her former landlord Stuart Levin to the tune of $150,000, but perhaps her current legal woes can teach us all a good lesson about carefully reading our apartment leases. The reality star rented one of New Jersey's many post-apocalyptic style homes back in 2008 and promptly invited 495 Productions in to film one of the very first scenes of the very first Jersey Shore season. Unknown to Jwoww, however, was the fact that she did not have the authority to use the house for commercial filming. So, before your web series really takes off or you really get serious about that insightful post-college documentary about underemployment you were going to break through with at Cannes, read the rental lease that you've no doubt filed carefully away in a pile of miscellaneous papers. [TMZ]

Kelsey Grammer and his hesitant beard have purchased a home near his ex-wife Camille Grammer in Beverly Hills so they can continue to menace Grammer's children with itchy cheek-kisses. [TMZ]

Amber Portwood, who achieved international fame for her precocious uterus, has missed one of her court-mandated drug tests and could face the 5-year prison sentence she narrowly avoided in January. Though Portwood must complete a drug program that includes daily urine testing in order to avoid jail time, she could not squeeze one ounce of pee out of her recidivist bladder. [TMZ]

This is what Goldie Hawn looks like when she's wasted (hint: like everyone else only with really fancy clothes). [INF Daily]

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has purchased a 13,153 square foot mansion in Southwest Ranches, Florida for $3.45 million. The home includes a a home theater, where the football player-turned-wrestler-turned action hero-turned-teddy bear can watch his old films and figure out how to break the magical contract that gives Disney exclusive rights over his immortal soul. [TMZ]

When asked if Zac Efron fit her conception of Prince Charming, — "someone who can make you laugh no matter what" — star of the upcoming Mirror, MirrorLily Collins artfully dodged the question by saying she was only speaking, you know, "generically," which coincidentally is the same way movie studios have so far deployed Efron as a leading man. [People]

Speaking of Zac Efron, the actor hobnobbed today with members of Real Madrid, who presented Efron with his very own fútbol jersey. [ONTD]

Everyone rest easy (or not, depending on the level of mistrust you have for our legal system) about the safety of Halle Berry's daughter Nahla: the child endangerment case against her father, Gabriel Aubrey, has been dropped. [TMZ]

Whitney Houston's will has been approved by a judge and now her daughter Bobbi Kristina is free to disentangle her inherited fortune from what will surely be a forthcoming bramble of legal claims. [TMZ]

Appropriately-named production company Magical Elves is in negotiations to direct Paramount's Katy Perry 3D concert extravaganza, which promises to make you bleed from both your eyes and your ears. [THR]

Actress-turned-child-vessel Jennifer Garner has finally emerged from her birthing compound sans newborn. What could this mean? Probably that, with now three kids screaming, crying, and destroying her house with crayon graffiti, she needed to go for a quiet drive alone to reclaim what small ounce of her sanity remains. [E!]

From what Megan Fox has heard, getting a tattoo removed hurts like a motherfucker. [E!]

Bette Midler will receive the Sammy Cahn Lifetime Achievement Award at the Songwriter's Hall of Fame on June 14 in New York, which seems especially relevant because Hocus Pocus was on ABC Family last weekend. [AP]

How have you been celebrating International Women's Day? No doubt by honoring 90s heart throbs James Van Der Beek and Freddi Prinze Jr., who today turn 35 and 36 respectively. It's also Kat Von D's birthday, but I'm not sure how you're going to work that into what should now be your plan for the evening: buy a cookie cake to eat during Varsity Blues and She's All That viewings (don't stray down the Dawson's Creek rabbit hole — it's only Thursday). [IMDB]