Could vibrator use during sexual play cause vaginal bleeding? Information about virginity, the hymen, and sex toys.

Question: I am 18 years old, and recently bought a vibrator shaped like a penis to start “experimenting” with sex toys. I have never had sex, and have never done anything that involved penetrating my vagina. The first time I used the toy, I barely “put it in” and my vagina started bleeding. I am worried that this could be an infection of some sort that I never knew about.

If you have never had vaginal penetration before, it is more likely that the bleeding you are experiencing is the gradual tearing of your hymen, which is a thin tissue filled with blood vessels that covers much of women’s vaginal entrances.

Some women gradually wear their hymen away through tampon use or finger stimulation alone (or with a partner) during adolescence.

Also some women naturally have thinner or thicker hymens than other women, so bleeding can vary when one first penetrates their vagina. Some women report quite a lot of bleeding and for other women the bleeding is barely noticeable.

Different Definitions of Virginity

Sometimes women worry that if they penetrate their vagina – and thus tear their hymen – then they are no longer a virgin, but that is not true.

People have different definitions of virginity, but most commonly it is considered that a virgin is someone who has not “had sex” yet (and people have different definitions of what “sex” means too – such as oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, etc, so even that varies a bit).

Given your age, it is a good idea to check in with a healthcare provider to get a gynecological exam which is an important step in taking care of your sexual and reproductive health – even if you are not having sex with a partner, you still have important reproductive organs that should be checked out. That may give you some peace of mind about your genital and reproductive health as well.

Learn More

To learn more about sexual play with a vibrator, you might want to read The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. Also keep in mind that you don’t have to use your vibrator to penetrate your vagina unless you want to or find that it feels good.

Quite a lot of women hold their vibrator up to their clitoris (without using it to penetrate their vagina) so that is another option too.

Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH is a professor in the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion (School of Public Health), and a research fellow at The Kinsey Institute. She has been writing the Kinsey Confidential Q&A since 2003. Additionally, Dr. Herbenick is an AASECT-certified sexuality educator and current president (2016-present) of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She is the author of several books about sex and love.

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As women near menopause, estrogen levels drop and women may be more prone to experience pain or discomfort during sex. As the vagina becomes more dry, women are also prone to vaginal tearing, which can result in small amounts of bleeding during sex.