You might be cute sitting there, but someday our roles will be reversed. You'll be picking up after me. I'll be the one disappearing when your back is turned. I'll unleash death in my diaper. Try changing me when I become the Wiggle Worm!!! Oh yes, victory will be mine.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

So if you don't know me by now and you haven't figured it out yet, I'm going to be a very proud parent in the near future. To be precise, March 10th. While there are millions of people out there who know what I am going through, there are those that don't...Hear my words. I am overjoyed with emotions. Of course these feelings can range from one end of the spectrum to another, but overall I am one happy freaking camper. To know that something I created with my beautiful, and sexy future wife Catherine will be brought into this world..... I'm not sure words can truly express those feelings.

Occasionally I start to wonder about the future. What if it's a girl? Shouldn't I have had at least one boy before her to watch and protect her from the hordes of drooling boys who will inevitably knock on my front door asking my innocent daughter out on dates? The same boys that I used to be. As a guy and any who read this should be able to relate, I'm frightened.... :( But I have a plan. To teach her self defense, to enroll her in as many contact sports as possible, wearing a chastity belt, seclusion from the outside world (ie. Locking her in her room until she's 35), home schooling, buy an island, start my own cult in Botswana and move the family there, sex change, and the fail safe, push her back in until she's done. Now I'm just joking about some of these things....But which ones? Sorry, I get a little carried away at times. For those of you who know me, it's just the way I am.

Eventhough things can weigh heavy on your mind, I know between myself and Catherine (from this point on she will be referred to as Catdoggg) we'll have a beautiful girl who will be an angel upon us and will be as smart as her mother, as cocky as her father and her own person. I will be very proud. Oh, I will be teaching my little girl about Football. One day she will be making someone very happy when she'll be able to sit down and watch a game and it will be her idea. Oh and she'll understand it. The day she says to me, "Dad, did you see the hold on the offense, but there was a face mask on the defense as well. That's offsetting penalties and the down remains the same, right dad?" Can you see the tears?

Now, if it's a boy...WooHoo!!! What do I really have to do? Teach him about football, :) wear a condom, treat women with respect at all times, how to urinate in public without getting arrested, and it's okay to cry (just not in public) You maybe wondering why I am talking about this now. One reason is that there is so much going on in my head and that next week we will be going in for another ultrasound and this time I do have permission to find out the sex if I want to, but I can't tell anyone. A part of me wants to know and a part of me doesn't. It's a dilemma that I haven't quite figured out yet. So if anybody out there has actually found my blog, please feel free to give your opinion. You have until 8am December 6th to let me know your thoughts. We'll talk soon.....

Monday, November 28, 2005

Okay, now I've been using the internet since I forced the hand of my mother back in 1992 when I insisted I needed a laptop to help my way through college. Fast forward to 1997, 4 schools later and minus that elusive degree. Little did I know at the time that my laptop would be used for nothing more than internet chat and porn. I'm not going to sit here and deny it. If there is one thing I always took pride in was telling the truth. Well, most of the time. Years have passed and computers have changed. Even occasionally using my computer for something other then grossing out my friends or drooling over future ex wives, but I have grown older and wiser to some extent. After reading some blogs and becoming addicted to a few I kept saying to myself that I should do one as well. I'm smart, funny (to some people at least) and I have plenty of stories and future stories to talk about. In fact I am having a life altering change on March 10th. Can anyone take a stab at what that might be? Anyway, please be patient with me as this is my first attempt at creating something other then perverted photoshop pictures or useless junk associated with nothing more than juvenile tendencies. Stay tuned....

I'm ThePapaDog, The head dog in charge. With the Catdoggg and the best 30 seconds of her life I helped create the Babydog. My life has flipped upside down. I now have responsibilities and more importantly, I have to set a good example. UGH!!! So read along and feel free to throw me a bone everyonce in a while.