Crown Accordion. Makes me feel like a pregnant woman whenever I play it. This instrument is an incredible feat of engineering. I’ve been practicing my polkas.

1962 Harmony Rocket Electric Guitar. Built in Chicago, this guitar has soul! It also has a lot of knobs. Because we all know the more knobs, the better the musician.

Egg Shaker. Which came first: the “chicka” or the egg shaker? A deceptively difficult instrument to master.

Hohner Soprano Melodica. When my Great Uncle John died (who happened to be a priest) we were given a small cardboard box of all of his worldly possessions. This was one of them.

Drums & Cymbals

Oscar Schmidt Concert Uke. I wish it was a Martin.

Readers Digest Electric Mini Keyboard. One day I picked up the phone and heard nothing but random blips and beeps, reminiscent of a Milton Babbit composition. 20 seconds later, when Grandma Rita stopped playing, she proudly told me the keyboard she had ordered arrived, and I should come pick it up. It is quite literally the best keyboard ever.