“Redneck Aerobics” Looks Really Stupid and Dangerous

I can’t tell where that accent is from, but it is reassuring to know that stupid people like this exist in all parts of the world and not just in America. It’s like the backwoods version of Jackass.

Sidenote: I once met Johnny Knoxville at a crosswalk in Vancouver, BC. He was possibly drunk and holding a box of saltines while I was staring up at him with a complete look of bewilderment. His mouth full of crackers, he mumbled out, “Saltines?” I shook my head no and, spraying cracker carcass he said, “Your loss” and crossed the street.

In any case, don’t do this. Don’t ever do what they did in this video.

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The next most likely outcome: the ball bounces up out of his grip in a straight line and the guy takes a bumper to the pelvis, shattering it and immobilizing him for a lenghty period of time -.-

MynameisBlarney

That’s one for sure.
Another one is the truck hits him a bit faster and at a better angle, he flies backward, not hitting the ground and sliding just before he hit the tree, but hitting the tree with with his head, and likely breaking his neck.

Oh boy.. as a kid I´d play “What´s gonna happen??” with a friend. You would draw that kid from school that you hated as a stick figure in a tight situation (say.. standing unocciously under the counterweights of a tall crane) and then 1-up the other player in imagining the worst possible consequence.

* The man falls on his bum while his spine is in a slightly akward angle, while his bottom is already stopped by the ground, the upper part of his body still has momentum. His spine is compressed in a manner which it was not designed for. His fourth and fith lumbar vertebrae splinter into peaces damaging the nerves they are supposed to protect. He will never walk again.

* The impact of the truck is more that the ball can take and it ruptures at the top. The air in the ball explodes in his face with such a force that his head is snapped back violently dislocating and or fracturing a disk. Since there is no more ball to function as a buffer the car now hits the man straight on the Nicolas Ribcage, breaking several of the ribs. A womhole appears …

MynameisBlarney

* The truck hits the ball at an angle causing it to shoot skyward at
great speed. It rips his nose and upper lip nearly half off. The truck
slams into him, (crushing spleens, duodenums, and other useless things)
sending him flying backward, careening off trees like a pinball. He lies
motionless for minutes, his friends, laughing and poking at him with
pointy sticks. He gets up, severely dazed, and bleeding profusely. Then
gets killed by a stampede of rabid sloths.
It takes almost an hour for that last part.

*He chickens out at the last second, tries to jump backward, slips and
falls on an old landmine just as the truck crushes him, killing
everyone.

If you could get a tornado to carry your house and drop it near mine. There are tons of pine tree forests here – about 65% of the state is forest. Plus, there are tons of rednecks who do things like this. /popcorn

TruuuV

I adore forests, obviously it has that whole murderer dumping bodies feel to it when you just say in passing “I fucking love the woods” but the lack of people, the noises, the potential for adventure, the fact you’re outside yet somehow feel covered and hidden by the trees.

S’long as you make enough noise, the bears will give you a wide berth. That’s why you whistle or wear a bell when you go hiking, or at the very least stomp a bit as you walk. I like to wear swishy fabrics… um… like rain pants/jackets… basically…. that makes a bit of noise as you walk (we have lots of brown bears in the North Cascades).

Aye, I told him all this, but it didn’t ease his mind. I’ve encountered a few bears on trails before, and they were always at a safe distance and well aware of me. I also tap my hiking poles together every now and then. I love those poles almost as much as I love my Oboz, and that’s A SHIT TON.