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Author
Topic: desperately need an expert... (Read 13098 times)

Wow, so glad I have found this site. My situation is this. I was involved in a "low risk" situation around 8 weeks or so ago. Yes, yet another paranoid oral! I performed oral sex on this individual of an unknown status, without ejaculation but exposure to precum. I did get tested at the 5 weeks mark and tested negative but afterwards I experienced coughing, soar throat, red mark on the roof of my mouth(not soar but I was looking!) and headache. Is my mind just playing tricks on me, or does this sound like ARS? No fever or rash on the trunk but I am freaked out! Also, any idea what generation of ELISA they use in Canada? specifically Ontario? I know you say 6 week testing is a good indication of your status, is there really a big difference from 5 weeks to 6 weeks? Thanks.

Is this true with all Elisa tests? I belive it was a 2nd generation test. Thanks a ton. Just freaking a little, you hear so much about people becoming infected through oral sex so it has put me into a spin!

Well, you see, that's just the thing....... you really don't hear about people getting infected through oral very often. And hardly ever without ejaculation. So stop the spin, you have a minuscule risk here.

do you suggest I continue testing, test at the 12 week mark? Do you know how accurate a test is at 5 weeks percentage wise and the liklihood this can change? Sorry to be so obnoxious...it's very disturbing when you convinced yourself of something. Are there documented cases on oral transmission through precum exposure only? I nearly had a heart attack while looking at another posting on here from an individual who was infected through performing oral sex.

Thanks Morgan When reading through these forums, it seems that Jkinatl2 has a lot of scientific data on oral transmission...anything on documented cases of transmission through oral with only precum? what factors increase the likelihood of transmission? ahhhhhhhhh!! And as for the ARS symptoms...do they come all at the same time and than leave at the same time? and does a fever usually accompany them? this is really helpful, thanks! I am afraid that my next test will be pos. Btw, what is the difference in detection timing between the generation tests? does Canada use 2nd or 3rd? so many questions.....is there a huge difference?

but from the long term studies done on sero-discordant couples who have unprotected oral sex with cumshots, none have become infected. From this i think it is safe to say that you don't get infected from precum. period.

if no person got infected from swallowing full cumshots in these studies, a lesser risk like precum.. well... it aint gonna happen.

Thanks so much DingoBoi What's your opinion on a neg 5 week result? and accuracy in terms of percentage? Is it safe to say it is probably close to the 6 week result? so many different views on transmission through precum, transmission through oral...difficult to know what to believe, that's why I am grateful for this forum. Plus, a ton of sites state that before the 12 week mark, you are likely to receive a false negative through antibody testing! Scares me!

Sorry to be so irritating...my mind is playing tricks on me with a soar throat and a cough that I just can't shake (for weeks)

Have you had your throat checked for other sexually transmitted infections? While it is unusual for someone to become infected with hiv through giving a blowjob, it is possible to become infected in the throat with things like chlamydia or gonorhea. Get to a clinic and have a full sexual health care check up for other STIs including having a throat swab done. Hiv isn't the only STI out there and the others are all much more easily transmitted than hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for your response. Yes I did get a throat swab done at 3 weeks and syphillis testing...all negative. Maybe my throat is a result of my anxiety..who knows... Is it common to see a 5 week result change at 13 weeks? I am very anxious.

That's really up to you.... the guidelines state 13 weeks for a conclusive test. A this point, it would probably only be for peace of mind as you are highly unlikely to have been infected in this incident.

Any idea as to where I could search for up to date information on "possible" oral transmission. I have read some pretty amazing stuff re: studies that were done of couples for years and not one infection. Where could I find this info? Thanks all.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

sorry to be annoying everybody, but these "symptoms" just won't go away. It's been 8 weeks since my exposure...is this normal? I am afraid that my body hadn't produced enough detectable antibodies at 5 weeks. So anxious! Also, with lymph nodes...I do have swollen nodes in my neck and one in my arm pit that I can feel when I look for it..are they usually quite noticable? PLease help this madness!

Anyhow, I have been obsessing fo 8 weeks about the possibility of being infected and have convinced myself of this. I did the test at the 5 week mark and the nurse assured me that the negative result was about 95% accurate and has never in 12 years had anybody test pos from oral. I felt better for a second and than got on the net and read all about false negs before 3 months, all the stories of transmission through oral. My mind went into a complete spin and I found this site. You are much more informative and up to date re: HIV. So, a 5 week neg is a pretty good indication would you say? Why all the symptoms still? See what I mean, it never ends!!

That's because you assume your symptoms have something to do with hiv. Why is is so hard to entertain the idea that your symptoms are due to something else?

If you read your own last posting, you have every reason to expect no connection to hiv. This is where your fear becomes irrational and, as such, a mental health issue. I read about people winning the lottery all the time. But that doesn't convince me that I'm next. And that's just about what you're doing.

I did the test at the 5 week mark and the nurse assured me that the negative result was about 95% accurate and has never in 12 years had anybody test pos from oral. I felt better for a second and than got on the net and read all about false negs before 3 months, all the stories of transmission through oral.

Paranoid,

The simple answer here is for you to stay off the internet.

Either that, or keep searching the internet for reasons to freak out and feel sorry for yourself for the next... how many weeks?.. and then go and collect your conclusive negative result at the three month mark.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Believe me, I am not feeling sorry for myself, I am genuinely scared(especially when I am still experiencing "symptoms")and seeking the facts and opinions of all of you experts. Not sure that was a fair statement. That's why I asked you if a 5 week result is a pretty good indication of my status. I understand that giving oral carries a low risk and even lower without ejaculation but in some posts I have read that precum contains more viral particals...so wouldn't that make it easier?

Short answer, backed by scientific data, is that your risk, if it even exists (a debate that greater men and women than I are currently waging, way way over my academic head) is exceedingly, vanishingly small. I could not imagine a seroconversion based on the incident you describe. I would not even think to recommend a test over it.

Your comfort level is yours to enforce as YOU see fit. If you dont feel comfortable, or safe, performing oral sex without a condom, then you need to insist on one. Not because of any real HIV risk, but because of other STDs - and because sex should be fun, not a source of emotional turmoil after the fact.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

another question re: ARS... you say the onset is 2-4 weeks after exposure, why do you hear that symptoms happen between 1-8 weeks? Is a dry cough, soar throat/dry throat a symptom? I have experience these symptoms for weeks now and I can't help but think that this may be the cause of my feeling like @%&* Also, the strange red blotch in my mouth threw me off. Please help, I am going out of my mind here!!!

another question re: ARS... you say the onset is 2-4 weeks after exposure, why do you hear that symptoms happen between 1-8 weeks? Is a dry cough, soar throat/dry throat a symptom? I have experience these symptoms for weeks now and I can't help but think that this may be the cause of my feeling like @%&* Also, the strange red blotch in my mouth threw me off. Please help, I am going out of my mind here!!!

Very anxious right now

You're going out of your mind because you don't listen to us! We've told you that these symptoms (indeed any symptoms) are not specific to HIV infection or ARS or anything like that.

Read the lessons and if you cannot cope with your irrational fears of HIV, you need to seek the assistance of a mental health professional. We cannot provide you with that kind of support.

I find it very disturbing when you get angry at people that are genuinely scared and wondering if they can just get some advice. I am grateful for the information that is shared here however, to be honest, it doesn't make me feel any better when somebody tells me to "seek advice from a professional" I respect your opinion, however just wanted to know the facts. And yes, I have read through the lessons. Seriously dude, have a little compassion.

I find it very disturbing when you get angry at people that are genuinely scared and wondering if they can just get some advice. I am grateful for the information that is shared here however, to be honest, it doesn't make me feel any better when somebody tells me to "seek advice from a professional" I respect your opinion, however just wanted to know the facts. And yes, I have read through the lessons. Seriously dude, have a little compassion.

Paranoid,

I'm not angry with you. Others around here who know me will tell you I'm being particularly patient with you. I'm being forceful to emphasise the point. You're trapped in the WW cycle of questioning everything you're told because it doesn't correspond to what you want to hear. We're here to give you the facts.

And you've heard the facts. One of those is that your fears far exceed the bailiwick of this forum. If you are as terrified as you claim to be, you really need to seek some professional help. From a psychologist or similarly qualified medical professional. It would be irresponsible of me or anyone not to tell you that.

As for compassion, well how compassionate would it be for me or anyone else to pander to your irrational fears? Much better that you are told in a blunt and forthright fashion what you need to do. It will be better for you in the long run.

Am I frightened? absolutely, do I understand my risk, yes...thanks to some wonderful experts on here, however I think it should be said that it isn't so irrational when coincidentally, I have these "symptoms" after a possible exposure, low or not. Now if my risk was ZERO than I would go on my way, however that isn't the case and I really have been feeling sick so I ask questions to better assess my situation. That is why I ask these questions, isn't this what this forum is for? All I ask was some professional opinions, that's all and for the most part, I did receive just that so thank you. I do appreciate your honesty, however it doesn't make me feel any better especially when I felt like this was a "safe" place to voice my concerns/questions.

This is the place to voice your concerns and questions. But after you've been given you answers it's pretty redundant to keep asking the same questions. Now if we are not able to help you, then I suggest like Matty that you get some one on one help with your fears.

I am sorry to bother you again but I can't help to shrug this nagging feeling. I have had a dry cough for a while now (it's been approx. 9 weeks after exposure) and I am wondering if this could be a sign of ARS? I also got a red soar on my nose that lasted for a couple of days but I can't shake this cough...should I be concerned? Is my 5 week negative a good sign of my status?

Thanks for your patience and expertise. I am just very, very anxious. Never ends.

While it is very rare to become infected with hiv through giving a blowjob, it is more common to get other STIs in your throat that way. In fact, chlamydia and gonorrhea in the throat can produce a dry, lingering cough. Please see a doctor and have your throat swabbed for these STIs. I'm not diagnosing you, I'm only offering a suggestion. Have it check out with a doctor. I know you've already had this done once, but sometimes it can be difficult to get a good culture from the throat. Please see a doctor who is experienced with oral STIs.

Nothing you report suggests hiv to me and I fully expect you to collect conclusive negative at the 12-13 week mark.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hey Paranoid...I came to the USA in 1995, and since then, and up until 2004, I had numerous unprotected oral sex episodes while living in New York, a city where many HIV Poz. men live. I even swallowed one time. I never woried about those episodes too much until Sept. 2004.In Sept. 2004, I had a scary episode. 5.5 weeks after a sexual unprotected oral and protected anal, I got all the symptoms in the book except for fever and rash. I experienced swallen tonsils, general malaise, weakness. I committed the sin of looking for syptoms on the internet, and hiv popped out. I was so scared I ran to the ER, seen many doctors, spent a fortune (even as I had health insurance at the time.) In fact, I just sent a payment of 100 dollars dating back to Dec. 2004 bill. Now I am through with any medical payments.Long story short, I was so upset and dipressed that I rarely could eat (no appetite). Lost 30 pounds which added to my fears.Now, to the HIV test results. All negative, even after 7 months of my last sexual episode.A month ago, I met this guy online and in the heat of the moment, we had 69 episode, performing unprotected oral to each other. I thought I would be fine, but now I am scared again, but not like before. This time I am a bit wiser. If you read my thread on this forum "won't hit the lottery twice anytime soon", you will see that I manage to have good times even with the unfounded worry. And yes, I enjoyed my cake yesterday night.My advice to you is my advice to me: Determine your level with comfort for the future. If unprotected oral is going to make you worried, opt for protected oral or sexual abstinence. No half an hour joyride should result in three months of nightmare. Hopefully this time I learned my lesson (we learn through repetition).Now, go and treat yourself to something good. I am not kidding. Take a walk or have a piece of cake.LA VITA E" BELLA-LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL...paul

MTD,Point well taken. I just thought my experience would help Paranoid. After all, I just told him that he should enjoy life. Sometimes people feel better knowing they are not alone in their troubles and that others are in their exact situation and that their fears are unfounded. But enough with this. I will not say another word as I don't want to hijack the thread. I respect the rules and I really appreciate this site.paul

Thanks to everybody for their response. I will get my throat swabbed again, as this may be the case. It feels as though my throat is closing up, coughing like crazy and I can't breath very well...sort of scares me that's all. Thanks again!!!!

sorry to bother but I was just wondering if you thought a five week neg is almost as good as a six week neg. Is there a big difference? Also, if these were Primary HIV symptoms, would I still be experiencing them? thank you for your patience.

As you have been told, symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection.

You have also been told that it is highly unlikely that you have become infected through giving a blowjob.

You have already been told that your five week test is a good indication of your true status, especially with your low risk. I don't believe your test results will change and I don't believe any of the other regulars here do either.

And again, as you have been told, get your symptoms checked out with a doctor. You could be missing something important by your myopic fixation on hiv.

Our answers to you are not going to change, no matter how many times you ask the same questions.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes I am back, I know. Now, it's been approx. 3 months since my "possible exposure" I know the only way to know is to get another test done and I indend to do this on Monday. I just wanted to run something by you experts before (it may ease my mind because I sort of convinced myself that this test will be + and I am driving my partner mad) Anyhow, I have had a dry cough for approx. 2 months now, I also had a yeast infection. Now, I know these may be symptoms of HIV infection but my question is, do these specific "symptoms" come on so soon after infection?? Also, I did get another throat swab done at Public Health for Chlamydia and Ghonnereah and Syphillis, all negative. I am going out of my mind in worry!!! I suppose that is the only answer that I really would be interested in, if you would so kindly help me out. I have a friend that is HIV+ and I distinctly remember him telling me that he had a dry cough that wouldn't go away and thats how he found out he was infected with the virus, but does a cough come on that soon after infection?

I know that symptoms mean nothing when it comes to HIV and I don't think that this is ARS, my question is that could this could just be an indicator of early infection? Or do ppl generally stay asymptomatic for a few years before developing any sort of symptom (if they do experience symptoms, that is)

Dry coughmouth cankersyeast infections

what "stage" do they appear (if they appear at all) In the first few months? or years?