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Desperately Seeking DUTCH-POs

Dutch, you're killing me! Just saw your vid for Clip on Tarp Pull Outs and figured I had to have a pair. And so I went to your site at outdoortrailgear.com . Alas they're not there. Say it ain't so. It seems the only thing faster than Dutch's lightning fast shipping is his cutting edge creative genius.

I haven't cried so hard since they blinded Laura on Little House on the Prairie. My tarp without a pair of DUTCH-POs now is like being dumped by your girlfriend and not having a Leonard Cohen album to play while you tear apart the cute stuffed animal you were waiting to give her and shave your head preparatory to joining some strict monastery. (Sorry, this has stirred up some very unpleasant memories). I'd gladly go back to that Turkish prison, eat my foul-smelling goulash, give the guards my three kidneys, pay the $20 plus shipping and bring Dutch a shrubbery if it meant I could somehow get my hands on the Holy Grail of hammock accoutrements, the highly coveted and sought after, Dutch Clip on Tarp Pull Outs.

Or as I like to call them, "DUTCH-PO"s

(Dutch's Unrivaled Tarp Caressing Heavenly Pull Outs).

You're amazing, Dutch! And easy on the eyes. And the world's greatest hiker! So please, please, please, put me on your waiting list.