27 February 2008

Bad language in meetings

The groups in one of the Districts in our Area are having trouble finding locations in which to meet. They've been kicked out of certain churches and the word seems to be spreading among those churches that we're not very good tenants. The two primary issues are (a) too much bad language and (b) smokers congregating around the entrances and leaving butts lying around.

My home group has a requests in our format bearing on these issues and we have [usually] dealt with abuses as they come up. It's something I highly suggest that other groups consider with regard to what their group conscience should be. Every time I hear someone using language generally considered impolite I shudder, imagining some pillar of the church congregation passing by in the hallway at that moment and overhearing us. Personally I have little objection to people using whatever language they wish, but I also think it's important that many people do take offense at such language and that we need to be especially wary with regard to our landlords.

Not too long ago I heard something that covers my feelings on this subject very well:

I HOPE SOMEONE READS THIS. I'M A 45 YEAR OLD MALE,MARRIED 18 YRS, 17 YR OLD SON,12 YR OLD GIRL, EDUCATED, PROFESSIONAL, ELECTED OFFICIAL WHO CAN NOT QUIT THIS F-ING DRINKING. I DRINK 10 BEERS EVERYDAY. MY COMBINED INCOME IS WELL OVER 100K AND I FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY ON MY OWN. MY WIFE TOLD ME BASICALLY TO F MYSELF. I FEEL I MUST BE MOST MISERABLE MAN ON EARTH. I HAVE THOUGHT OF BAD THOUGHTS. I HAVE TRIED AA, OUTPATIENT, AND READ MANY BOOKS. I NEED TO TALK ONE ON ONE EITHER THROUGH THIS BLOG OR TELEPHONE TO SOMEONE I CAN RELATE TO. I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE. PLEASE RESPOND ONLY SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY

Meetings are for newcomers - for those who have not yet recovered from alcoholism so they can be taught the twelve steps and recover - this is the ONLY purpose of a group and why they are supposed to be holding meetings at all.

How many un-recovered alcoholics still in their cups don't smoke and don't curse?

Maybe you should limit your meetings only to those who are handsome and pretty too. :)

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Contact me—via either e-mail or Gmail chat—at namenlosen dot trinker at gmail dot com (replace ' dot ' with '.' and ' at ' with '@'). What I show as my birthday on my profile is actually my sobriety date.

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The opinions expressed are my own and not those of anyone else (though they should be). Absolutely nothing contained herein is intended or should be construed as being affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous or as being representative of the opinion of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Dramatis personae

• A Zany Billiard — Sister-in-law, married to BassMan I

• Abbott — The Rock's first sponsor

• AdenineLush — Current Area Delegate

• Alf — Step-son

• Amadeus — Brother-in-law

• Banner Sky — Not a person; a nearby bar I never drank in, though I'm not sure why—it was just my kind of cheap dive

• BassMan I — Brother

• Bear — Former DCM who unexpectedly died in Feb 2007

• Bitter Cookie — Ex-wife

• Bumblebee — a sponsee, now deceased as a result of his alcoholism

• Calked Marlin — Garden-variety drunk

• ChinBeard — an old A.A. friend

• Cumulonimbus — Close personal friend and former drinking buddy who spent four years in A.A.

• Dad — My father

• Dancing Bear — Long-time pigeon

• Deadbeat Dad — Wife's ex-husband, who at one time really was one of the biggest child support deadbeats in the state

• Dean-o — Brother-in-law, married to Sis

• Diego — One of Dancing Bear's sponsees

• Doppelganger — Brother

• Ferdinand — Brother

• Graven Latte — A very close friend and recovering alcoholic in general service

• HennaLoge — Sister-in-law, married to Doppelganger

• Idlerich — Ex-wife’s boyfriend and now husband

• J.J. Rangstorm —My first service sponsor, though I didn't know that's what he was at the time

• LaTroy — Step-daughter

• Lloyd Right — a double-trouble sponsee, now deceased

• Luigi — another recovering alcoholic

• Macron Larks — My [non-alcoholic] therapist

• Mobs Sissy — Step-daughter

• Mom — My mother

• Mr Riches-to-Rags — one of my newer pigeons

• Ms Sobriety — Long-time sober friend & high school sweetheart

• Nimue — Wife (soon to be ex-wife)

• Nonces Juicy — First cousin and wife to Cumulonimbus

• OneEighty — Sister-in-law, married to Ferdinand

• Overseer — Temporary pigeon as of October 2007

• Painter — Daughter

• Placido — Brother

• Ralph — My second sponsor

• Revson — Son-in-law, married to S-Cat, , father of my four grandchildren

• Rock, The — Current sponsor

• S-Cat — Daughter, married to Revson, mother of my four grandchildren