A parenting blog about tricks and tips for sensory issues & integration strategies,
I’m highly grateful to the genius founder of Sensory Integration theory, Dr A Jean Ayres whose unstoppable hard work and passion towards her work have made the world of neuroscience so interesting and engaging.
Thank you so much, Dr Ayres!

Anger is the foundation of Aggression, Violence, and Hostility. Although a lot of researches are being conducted in psychological and psychiatric settings, however,Occupational Therapy studies have developed some basic framework that underpins assessments and treatment interventions for improving child's behaviour and reducing anger.Aggression,violence and hostility may be common in the school, college, community setting , however, it has other dimensions as well.

Anger can be anticipated, explored as well as investigated under antisocial behaviours or occupations. Aggression has been found to be disruptive in nature having broader concepts, with an effort to control and harm another person at work or home.

However, when it comes to children and teenagers they should not be victimised of physical force or mental agony with the intention to damage.

Occupational Therapy works to improve and maintain physiological arousal, Cognitive domain as well as Social Participation of the teenager by involving them into meaningful and purposeful Occupations.

These Rising Horizons of tomorrow do not need authoritative, permissive or uninvolved parenting styles but a feeling of gentle touch, affection love, and care. They need warmth, togetherness happiness and satisfaction in their lives expected from their parent’s side.

It’s essential to make ourselves understand our kids. We cannot expect them to be the best in a universe without changing ourselves attitudes and behaviours according to their needs and desires. Parents have to be adaptable depending on their children’s thoughts and beliefs. Parents having dysfunctional relations (drug or alcohol abuse, marital discord) and social interaction within the family cannot expect reciprocal love and affection from opposite side.

SEVEN EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR PARENTAL HANDLING IN AGGRESSIVE KIDS!!

GETTING INVOLVED WITH THE CHILD: The uninvolved parenting style will lead the child to be insensitive, unsupportive and destructive in nature. Such parents are indifferent to what’s happening in their child’s life and are not concerned for his well-being. Involvement with the child is an essential action. Understanding their needs, desires, strengths, limitations and interests are important. Solving their school problems, listening to them effectively (being empathetic listener) understanding their causes and situations of stress, tension, and disruptive behaviour is explanations to handle a child’s misbehaviour.

Key Note-Parents should understand their behaviour as well as set rules and discipline standards to be followed at home and outside.

WHEN AGGRESSION IS A PERSONALITY TRAIT: Sometimes child’s intelligence quotient (IQ) may be low. He might not able to understand or concentrate on academics completely. Hence, it becomes difficult for the child to cope up with the academics as well as social situations leading to high frustration and more aggression. In such cases parents should take up the role of teacher, imparting knowledge, skills, and values to their children. They should encourage and help them out in money management, simple calculations, spelling correction as well as in simple academics. Moreover, involving kids in constructive works such as gardening, kitchen tasks, board games, wood working, and soccer will divert their energy powerhouses into a positive direction.

Key Note – Involvement of the child into a task that he can successfully complete causing positive motivation, satisfaction and confidence building.

CHECK WHAT THEY WATCH: Many studies have predicted that Television violence and violent video games act as the strong catalyst to promote aggression in children of teenage. Researchers suggest that children may learn aggression from viewing others and watching violent acts increases excitation or arouses the viewer towards aggression in response. Viewing or playing violent games may lead to increased likelihood of aggressive behaviour, thoughts, and emotions. This may be the cause of verbal or physical bullying in future.

Key Note-Thus, parents should always keep a check on subjects their children are watching through media.It is important to feed the developing mind with healthy nutrition by engaging them in the more meaningful task.

DON’T REJECT YOUR CHILD: Child might feel personally rejected or maladaptive due to marital discord, parent’s involvement in drug or substance abuse or antisocial attitudes of one or both the parents, while adjusting with a new parent or sibling within the family or parent’s involvement into physical aggression. Activities providing the feeling of fun, togetherness, enjoyment and companionship should be encouraged. Social interaction with relatives, friends and peer are important.

Key Note-In such cases parents should have significant abilities such as effective communication skills, being respectful to child’s confidential talks, openness towards child’s new ideas and strong listener.

FAMILY ENVIRONMENT: Plays a strong part in developing child’s mental processing. When parents show impulsive and violent behaviour, within the family and outside, the children also try to follow the same pattern. Violence and aggression in the family cause poor intelligence with greater anxiety. Harsh and inconsistent discipline practices lead to ineffective parenting. It is essential to identify areas of conflict leading to potential risk.

Key Note-Exploration and Modification of parent’s behaviour will work wonders.Parents should discipline themselves as they are projected role models of their kids.

REJECTION BY PEER LEADS TO AGGRESSION: As children grow mentally and physically towards their teenage, they measure themselves with peer acceptance. If they find themselves competent enough in comparison to others, then their sense of self-confidence raises. Contrary to this lack of popularity or rejection leads to low self-esteem, self-confidence as well as decreased self-concept. Finding, themselves weak leads to anxiety, frustration, and being rejected. As this is persistent and consistent they tend to be aggressive, short-tempered resulting in being violent in future. Parents should involve teachers, school, Peer group Support for establishing harmonious relations. It’s important to ensure that they will not be neglected from their peer group as well as techniques such as Assertive Training, Effective Coping, and Communication Skills should be incorporated.

Key Note-Teachers and parents should form Therapeutic Relations with potential aggressive kids, respect their thoughts and should be empathetic towards them. Encourage them for Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution of issues.

PHYSIOLOGICAL AROUSAL: Effects on a body are quite prominent and visible. The increase in Blood pressure, muscle tension and tightening, voice becoming louder, faster respiration (breathing pattern), increased stomach acids, face turning red, and lack of concentration are some signs. Kids might feel agitated, angry or furious at this point of time. Key Note-Firstly, parents should be aware of common triggers or situations that lead to their child’s physiological arousal affecting his cognitive domain and social aspects of life. These situations should be avoided if possible. Secondly, they might not be able to concentrate on academics, talk negatively, and feel out of control with their temper. Using Relaxation Techniques, Calming Breadths, as well as teaching Self-Monitoring Techniques will help. Consequences of anger outbursts should be identified and resolved. Diverting their energies in physical force such as boxing bag, Drawing, Dancing, writing down Expressions Walking, Running, and Riding Bicycle.

Key Note-Involving them in voluntary work to help either differently- abled, elderly or children will help to recognise the worth of being independent and will lead to healthy living.

According to statics (British Association of Anger management) out of every four children, one child experiences his parent’s divorce before sixteen, 75% of working mothers think that their child is emotionally unstable since they are full-time workers and 87% parents shout on their children frequently, due to stress. Children playing a lot of video games and watching excessive television can suffer from passive aggressive behaviours. Anger is an inherent behaviour however above statics reflect, various external factors acting as the catalyst for anger behaviours. Anger leads to aggressive and hostile conduct among children

Source: Anger Clipart

Goal: The main aim of parent-child relationship should be to identify child’s needs, priorities and inner feelings, building self-esteem through a positive outlook and possible environmental modifications.

Masked emotions and conditions causing anger:Sometimes there are other emotions hidden beneath child’s anger, which he is unable to show cast directly and anger is used as a cover up. Many times emotions such as envy, loneliness, low self -esteem, anxiety, fear of failure in exams, excessive television watching foster aggression among teens or condition like Oppositional Deficient Disorder (ODD) lead to hostile and violent behaviours.

Anger Chart

Anger Chart of Emotions: Parents can have a chart of different emotions hanging in Child’s room. A child can indicate his feeling and emotions from picture chart description. This gives them picture description as well as vocabulary to express and understand the different feeling.

Coloring Tasks! (colouring .com)

Colouring as Vent of Emotions (This activity is good for younger ones):This activity can be helping people vent their feelings and frustrations, as well as other emotions through colouring. An angry or frustrated child may scribble sheet only with dark shades without caring for margins or boundaries to release his aggression however this is an excellent way of self–expression and channelize energies in a constructive direction.

Communication is essential

Communication:Interaction plays a major role in child’s behaviour. The impact of the dysfunctional family can be one of the major reasons for anger. Parents, who take out frustration on their children, prove to be poor role models. Adults should be empathetic listeners and provide reassurances through physical as well as talking means (as mentioned above) and it should be ensured that right question is asked, at the right time which is essential for behaviour shaping. E.g.-You seems to be upset since came from school, can I help? Instead, what happened to you and why aren’t you doing your homework?

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Drawing as a Remedy:Drawing thoughts allows the child to think and reconstruct thoughts. Parents may ask them to label their feelings in bubble pictures or draw situation which made them annoyed. This even helps the child to vent out his frustration as he might draw person's picture having horns or bad looking face with whom he is angry. This acts a cure for individual to describe his feelings on paper as well as help’s parents to understand sensitivity towards the particular situation.

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ÞLog Book (Recordkeeping):Parents may keep a log of thoughts or emotions child is going through. It may be due to hunger, lack of schedule, and ill health or particular lesson in a week that irritates or makes the child anxious. This will help to identify and track out possible triggers, situations or if there had been the consistency of days in a week. (E.g.: child gets too much worried/anxious on Tuesdays because of particular lesson on time -table, which he does not like.)

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Activities Demanding Concentration: Parents can encourage the child to play Crossword, Poker, Chess, Kerplunk, or Sudoku, whenever feeling anxious or diversion from an angry situation is important.

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Activities Demanding Physical Involvement:Children can be encouraged for running, jumping, sports or recreational tasks which involve physical energy loss (Additionally helps in calming down) on a daily basis. This not only helps to maintain body’s equilibrium (Physical &amp; Mental) but also leads to successful accomplishment of a particular task. Marathon for charity causes (E.g., Cancer causes) or Fundraising will help a child improve self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. Opportunities should be created for the child to exercise skills in the community through leisure experiences.

Writing Own Thoughts:Children can be involved in writing out thoughts in the journal. Writing things in a systematic sequence would help to clarify.How am I feeling (Feelings: anxious, sad, irritated, angry): _Why am I having this feeling (Reasoning): __________What can I do to come out of this Problem (Solution: Talk to parents, think positively, deep breath) ______This sequence can help child resolve problem and understand his actual emotion!!