Hockey mascots serve some vital functions during the game. Who else can get the crowd clapping, or fire T-shirts into it? Who else can dump popcorn on the heads of visiting fans? Who else can inappropriately touch female patrons during photo ops? (OK, the players might have that last angle covered.)

Who else can dance like there's no tomorrow? MASCOTS, that's who. Mascots like Sharky, who entertains the crowd at Kölner Haie (Cologne Sharks) games in the Deutsche Eishockey Liga. By getting crunk. (NSFW warning: Song played in the arena contains some adult language.)

Would anyone be surprised if we sliced up Sharky's stomach and discovered a license plate, a tire and the Jabbawockeez?