Laptop gadget saves the world by saving John Thomas

Now in their thirties and wondering why they're unable to reproduce, a generation of men have forgotten all the hysterical headlines of the 90s when newspapers warned of laptops boiling their sperm in their sacks. Years later, those sacks are withered and barren, the man jam bereft of any long-tailed sailors looking to make port.

The world will lose a whole swathe of the population, but there's still hope for that are yet to begin idling away their evenings on the sofa, scouring The Hun for pornography and slowly cooking their groin while their girlfriend watches Law & Order repeats on Hallmark. Introducing the Portable LapDeskoTron thing:

It's bastardly obvious, but it helps protect your legs and crotchal region from heat given off by your laptop, and also provides a mousepad so you don't suffer the inevitable hand cramp from using a trackpad for hours on end. Simple enough, but these guys maybe have just saved civilisation.

8 comments

I dont get it really, does it actually cool the base of the laptop or does it just act as another layer through which the heat has to travel to get to your Testicalcase? ie does it just take longer for the heat to get to get to ur balls.

It really grips my shitz when they advertise stuff you can actually buy yet - thye're gonna make it but can you buy it anywhere yet nooooo but the PR company wanted to tell you about it anyway. Well, for that, I'ma gonna get out the circular saw and make me own out of plywood and things called 'nails'
Pfft PR BS.

"but there’s still hope for that are yet to begin idling away their evenings on the sofa, scouring The Hun for pornography and slowly cooking their groin while their girlfriend watches Law & Order repeats on Hallmark."
OMG have you been sat in my house watching me and the gf!!!!???