Here's what Invisible Obama actually told Clint

Clint Eastwood held a one-sided conversation with an
invisible Barack Obama on stage at the Republican National Convention last
week.

In that conversation, however, we didn't get to hear what Invisible
Obama actually said. Everything was relayed through Clint.

That doesn't seem fair, so I called up Invisible Obama and
asked him for his side of the story.

"First and foremost, Mr. Invisible President, did you really
tell Clint Eastwood – the Clint
Eastwood - to shut up when he said Democrats were upset with you for not closing
Gitmo like you promised?"

"Absolutely not," he replied. "First of all, I would never
tell anyone to shut up. It's not presidential. Second, this is Clint Eastwood.
I'd never tell him to shut up. I'd be afraid he might squint me to death or
something."

"So he just made it up?"

"I'm afraid so, but he was doing a comedy bit, so I understand.
Besides, it's true that I ticked off some of my supporters by not closing Gitmo."

"So why'd you do it?"

"Because it was the right thing to do, and that's what a
president is supposed to do – make the right decision regardless of how it
impacts him personally. A straight shooter like Clint ought to understand that."

"He also said you told him that Mitt Romney can stick it
where the sun doesn't shine if he doesn't agree with your decision to slowly draw
down troops in Afghanistan rather than pull them out immediately, as Romney has
suggested."

Invisible Obama shook his head. "Again, it's not my nature
to talk to people like that. And while I understand that many people don't
agree with my Afghanistan policy, I'd like to remind everyone that I'm not the
one who got us involved there in the first place. That was my predecessor's
decision. Now, you can certainly argue that I should have fixed that mistake when
I took office, but pulling the troops out overnight isn't safe for them or for
the Afghan people. Once again, there's a huge difference between the kind of
rhetoric you hear in an election and the real world. In the real world, rash
decisions can cost people their lives, as both my predecessor and Mr. Romney
well know."

"Clint also said 23 million people are unemployed and that's
your fault."

"That's the only point where I was tempted to say something
rude to him. He's got his facts way, way wrong. According to the Labor
Department there are 12.8 million people out of work right now, not 23 million."

"So did he just pull that number out of thin air?"

"No, it looks like he combined the unemployed with part-time
workers and people who aren't actively looking for work. The truth is when I
took office the unemployment rate was 7.6 percent. It's now 8.3 percent, which
isn't too bad considering we've been through the Great Recession, which the
previous administration largely created."

"So basically he played fast and loose with the facts?"

"Yes, but we all do that in politics. It's no big deal."

"So was everything he said just complete election-year baloney
then?"

"Well, not everything," he said.

"Wait, let me guess, it was the Joe Biden stuff, right? He
called Biden 'crazy' and a 'grin with a body behind it.' Is that on the mark?"

Invisible Obama just smiled.

"Joe can be interesting at times. Let's just leave it at
that."

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