Handling Girlfriends & More

Yes, it's that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen.com readers.

This week's Q&A focuses on controlling situations with women, a woman’s concerns, encountering an old flame, and more. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

reader’s comment

Hi Dave,

Love your stuff and these e-mails — really informative.

I've got a couple of points about the last set. 1) NLP can work in some cases, but usually as a backup to your stuff. Women love it at the right time but use it too much and you sound wussy. Don’t give up the Cocky & Funny approach — ever — in a relationship. Keep the woman guessing, unsure and bust other women while she's around you. You don't have to be trying to pick up women while she's there, just teasing shop assistants, waitresses, her friends, etc. shows her you're in control and attractive to other women; they won't want to get rid of you then... ever. They love it and it keeps them on their toes. It makes you unpredictable, confident, assertive (in a positive way), and not needy and wussy. 2) One 37-year-old guy in a previous e-mail said he felt he couldn't approach younger women. He didn't want to be thought of as a creepy old guy. Well, I'm 48, split three years ago (I've three kids), thought my world had ended and I'd no future. I could've retreated to a lonely cocoon-like existence, but decided, "What the hell; it's my turn now!" This really pissed off my ex-wife who wanted to split. I began to study everything I could find on women, how they thought (or didn't think), what made them tick (or didn't), why — to us guys — they were so irrational, the "let's just be friends" thing, etc. The only thing I've found that really works is your stuff (I've had the book for ages). I have had loads of success with younger women (20s and 30s). My current girl is 34, attractive and I feel like a million dollars when I walk into a club or bar with my piece of arm candy (other women never stop looking and you know they're attracted to a guy who can pull younger women — they're curious, it's amazing). She says this is the best relationship she's ever had. So, my advice to older men is ignore everyone, go have some fun and approach who the hell you like, just use the Cocky & Funny routine and you will succeed more than you'll fail. Life's too short, so get out there and enjoy. I wouldn't have believed it could be like this. Thanks for everything and helping me get a life back.

J., Edinburgh, Scotland

david d. responds

You've made some great points here. Let me comment on one or two of them. One thing you mentioned is demonstrating how you can control situations with women, so that the woman you're with knows it. It's always interesting to me how competitive women are. And there's nothing quite like a woman knowing that her man can meet other women whenever he wants. In fact, I'll bet that a large percentage of women who stay in bad situations with men are only there because they know that their man can go meet other women anytime he wants, and they just can't deal with the jealousy that it triggers. So, they stay.