This is going to piss some of you off! But here it is anyway.
CO State Rep. Leslie Michaels Tarred and Feathered!
by Tom Buchanan
July 3, 2001, Denver
Colorado State Representative Leslie Lee Michaels was found Tuesday
morning bound and gagged at the base of the Civil War Memorial statue
on the west side of the Capital building. She was drenched from the top
of her head to her feet in molasses and covered with turkey feathers.
Around her neck was a large sign with bright red letters that stated,
"I VOTED AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION." In front of her were poster sized
copies of the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights. It
was all she had to look at for the fourteen hours she was strapped to
the statue.
Ms. Michaels was found around 9:00 AM by a group of history students
who arrived for a tour of the Capital building. "We thought it was a
reenactment of a tar and feathering which was a popular deterrent
against tyranny during the Revolutionary period instituted by the Sons
of Liberty on tax collectors," said one student, "It was so realistic".
The group admired the display as Leslie tried to hide her shame. "It
was awesome!" declared another student. "We thought they put the
display on just for us because we are studying the American Revolution
in class."
When Representative Michaels was finally released from her bondage by a
State Capital guard at 9:45 AM, she sobbed uncontrollably and recounted
her ordeal. It appears that Ms. Michaels was working on yet another in
the series of 'reasonable gun control laws'. She was working late in
her office at the Capital, putting the final touches on her new
proposal to stop the 'Classified Ad' loop hole of gun sales. The new
legislation would be a defacto ban on the private sales of firearms. It
(HB 0666) requires all transactions be done at the business of a
Federal Firearms dealer. It requires a back ground check on both the
buyer and the seller of any firearm sold in Colorado.
Ms. Michaels stated that as she was walking toward her automobile at
6:30 PM on Monday night a group of people dressed in Revolutionary War
costumes quickly over came her, swept her off of her feet and gagged
her. They took her around to the West steps of the Capital which has
been a popular location for demonstrations throughout the years. When
they got there they relieved her of her outer garments and lashed her
to the base of the Civil War Memorial statue. "I was terrified!" she
recalled. "If I would have had a gun I may have been able to prevent
this horrible experience."
After she was bound to the bronze statue she was tormented by the men
and women for more than an hour. "They called me a traitor to freedom
and liberty," she said through her tears. "I have heard these types
crying out to stop these new laws for years, but I never really thought
they were serious." she said.

One person brought out a huge five gallon bucket of molasses and poured
it on top of her head. The slowly moving, sticky substance eventually
covered her entire body. She said that two women approached her each
carrying a large trash bag. One at a time the they dumped the contents
of the bags over her. "I will never forget the stench of those turkey
feathers as they covered my face. "They taunted me for about fifteen
more minutes. They read to me the Declaration of Independence and the
Bill of Rights and one of them set those Founding documents in front of
my face to study. They threatened me with a return trip if I ever voted
against the rights of the individual again. They kept repeating the
oath of office that I took whereby I swore to uphold and defend the
Constitution," she sheepishly stated.
More surprising was the way Representative Michaels said that her
abductors left. "It was so very strange," she said, "As they slowly
walked away I heard the distinctive sound of a drum and fife and the
far away sound of a lonely bag pipe player. When they got about twenty
five feet away they just slowly vaporized into thin air and were gone.
It was chilling!
The arrow points to the Civil War Memorial where Rep. Leslie Michaels
was bound, and ceremoniously tarred and feathered by "Ghost Patriots".
After Representative Leslie Michaels cleaned up after the harrowing
experience at the hands of what she described as "Ghost Patriots" she
announced that she would be taking a week away from her duties to
concentrate on studying the Founding documents and to renew her Oath of
Office with a new outlook on her duties as a State Representative.
Before she left the Capital grounds she removed from consideration any
pending legislation that she had proposed that would in any way
restrict the freedom and liberty of the people or grant any more
restrictive powers to the government.
Ms. Michaels ended her news conference by saying "I have realized that
we can only push people so far! I will take a closer and more careful
look at every proposed piece of legislation put before me and ask if
this law will inhibit the free will of the people or not. Further more,
I will begin the task of repealing any legislation currently on the
books that does not pass Constitutional muster. I have seen the light
of a new day and I believe I have been shown the way to preserve the
Rights of the People and indeed the very State of Colorado and the
United States!"
I woke up with a start! The dream had been so real that I rushed out to
get the Denver newspaper to look for the story. But alas, it was only
wishful thinking, a dream, a work of fiction!
Told you it piss you off! Pure fiction!
[img]http://www.ncsg.org/topohat-small.jpg[/img]
...[:D]

Dang! I leave town for the holiday and the world goes to crap.
It's almost too bad something like this didn't happen. This is not the way to change their minds, but it would be good for a laugh just the same.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs shouldrelax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

If only it had been Diana DeGette or Wellington Webb.
You set the hook on that one, I was almost into the Denver Post website.
Tyranny Response Team would really make their bones if they pulled that one off.