I think by now no one should be surprised by this. Certain authors have been gaming bestseller lists from Amazon to the New York Times, getting away with it, and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them. This article I’m linking to now talks about a Pastor who allegedly bought his way to several bestseller lists by using a marketing firm that specializes in this type of unethical behavior. I’m not sure it’s criminal, but I would like to see the FTC get involved just once. I would imagine it is a form of consumer fraud, but don’t quote me on that.

That’s according to new reports outlining how Mark Driscoll, an evangelical pastor, paid $210,000 to ResultSource Inc., a professional firm in the business of making bestsellers. The result? Driscoll’s book, “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together,” which he wrote with his wife Grace, skyrocketed onto the New York Times bestseller list before dropping abruptly off.You can read more here.

If you’re feeling industrious today, here’s another link to Forbes on authors buying their way to bestseller lists.

This web site gets slammed a lot because they don’t reveal anything about themselves and they make some very strong, serious allegations, but they also have a few interesting posts on the topic. As far as I know, none of the authors they’ve named with these strong allegations have become the slightest bit litigious. But don’t quote me on that either.

And if you just do a simple search for “authors buying their way to bestseller lists” you’ll find so many articles you won’t know where to start.

“Dogging”

There’s no need for me to go in-depth with this link to Urban Dictionary. The term dogging came up the other night at a dinner party and I was surprised so many didn’t know what it was.

Basically, it’s having sex in a car, in a public place, with people watching or joining in.

ooooo, i went dogging lst night at the local car park. it was jolly good fun!

Priest Tweets PornAnd not just any old porn, it was allegedly gay porn.

Reverend Richard Coles Twitter followers were sent to a porn website instead of a picture of Jesus, in an unfortunate Twitter mistake this morning (18 April). Gay British priest Richard Coles had an embarrassing Twitter mishap this morning when he was tweeting a series of Easter related images for Good Friday

The FIFA World Cup is being hosted in Brazil this year, and there are places where T-shirts that call soccer players “faggots” are being sold.

The simple T-shirt designs call Portuguese player Cristiano Ronaldo ‘gay’ and retired Argentine footballer Diego Maradona a ‘maricón’ (a faggot). The designer defends the T-shirts, which are being sold for around €62 ($85), as ‘irreverent’ and not offensive. He is also claiming they are selling out in stores across the country.‘The collection has a irreverent theme and the T-shirts are made for those who want to cheer for Brazil but do not want to wear the official kit,’ Sergio K said, as translated by Gay Star News. ‘It’s not homophobic to me. Homophobia is something else. The T-shirts do not incite violence.’

Here’s the conclusion of yesterday’s free excerpt, from Chapter One of my latest unpubbed novel in the Chase of a Lifetime series, Chase of a Rainbow. Once again, this is the raw unedited version. In order to get what’s happening you should check out the link to the first excerpt. Because this is part of a series I like to sneak in some back story for people who prefer to read the books in random order. All are stand alones.

Len shook his head. “Why is that disgusting? It’s the truth. You are a power bottom.” He looked at Arturo. “Isn’t he?”Arturo nodded. “Oh yeah.”

Jim couldn’t deny he liked his sex, and he knew they were only joking around with him. So he lifted his head and said, “You’re both disgusting.”

The truth was things hadn’t always been this carefree and casual with Len and Jim. Len was about twenty years older than Jim and they had a long history. Len and his first wife, Janet, had been best friends with Jim’s mom and dad, Radcliff and Helen Darling, back when they’d all lived in Dallas. To make things even more complicated, Jim had been best friends with Len’s son, Cain Mayfield. Jim had grown up around Len and he’d always called him Mr. Mayfield because Len had been living in the closet most of his adult life. When Jim returned to Dallas as an adult after he graduated from Princeton, one thing led to another and Len and Jim wound up falling in love with each other in spite of trying to do the exact opposite. And when their families discovered what was happening, it nearly destroyed everyone. It set off a chain of horrible, dramatic events that led Jim and Len to leave Dallas and move to Los Angeles. But not after a great deal of tears had been shed.

Len set his card down and declared victory. They were playing gin rummy and everyone knew he was unbeatable. “I’ll show you how disgusting I am if you want.”

Arturo’s head went up and he didn’t seem to mind that he’d just lost a hand. “I’ll help.”

“You grab him and I’ll pull down his pants,” Len said.

“Seriously, guys,” Jim said. “I really have to work on this campaign so I can get this guy to buy the dispensaries. I don’t have time for that tonight.” He glanced at Arturo. “And you have to deal with the dude ranch manager job tomorrow.” Along with Arturo’s responsibilities as Jim’s marketing assistant, they’d also promoted Arturo to ranch manager of COAL Ranch and he was interviewing new ranch managers for the gay dude ranch next door.

Len ignored Jim and picked up the cards. He started to shuffle, and he looked at Arturo and said, “One more hand, and then we go after him.”

Arturo said, “Loser gets sloppy seconds.”

They fist-bumped and Len said, “Deal.”

“Oh, you two should take that act on the road,” Jim said. “But don’t get too excited because I have a lot of work to finish tonight. I’m meeting this guy tomorrow and if he likes my ideas to promote the dispensaries online, we sign the papers later this week and I’ll never have to deal with medical marijuana again in this lifetime.”

Arturo cut the cards and spoke in more serious tone. “Aren’t you going to miss it a little?” He knew how emotionally attached Jim was to Cain and Carol Greene.

Jim couldn’t deny he had emotional ties to the business. Carol Greene had been the most flamboyant transgender male to female he’d ever known. On a conservative day she’d resembled a cross between Marilyn Monroe, Bette Midler, and Dolly Parton. But his ties to her didn’t just stop with Carol saving Culum’s life. Carol had also been deeply in love with Cain Mayfield, and she’d mourned Cain’s death almost as much as Len and Jim had. Cain had been dating her and that’s how he’d gotten involved with the medical marijuana dispensaries. Although Cain used to flirt with Jim and tease him a lot, Cain was straight and there had never been anything sexual between them. Jim had loved Cain like his own brother and there wasn’t a day that went by when Jim didn’t miss him. Cain was also Culum’s biological father, but Jim and Len had legally adopted Culum when Cain’s college girlfriend wanted to abort him. Len had been having serious father and son issues with Cain at the time, but Len refused to let anyone abort his grandson and he literally begged the girlfriend to let him adopt and raise Culum. So much in Jim’s life seemed to lead back to his friendship with Cain he often wondered how it had all happened. And part of him felt sad about selling the dispensaries because he knew that would be his final legal tie with Cain.

But he also had Cain’s biological son, Culum. And he saw traces of Cain in Culum as each day passed. So he smiled at Arturo and said, “It’s time to move on. I have no real interest in selling marijuana and I’d like our lives to move forward.” Then he smiled at Len. “I want things to be simple someday. Just us and the ranch.”

Len glanced over at him and said, “I agree. It’s time to sell.”

Jim wanted to get up and hug him, but Hal Robertson answered another question on the computer and he started talking about how bottoms should prepare to have anal sex.

Len’s eyes opened wide and he laughed. “Here we go. Now we’re getting personal anal sex hygiene habits from good old Hal. I’m not sure I want this guy to buy the dispensaries. He’s a fucking wing nut.”

Arturo shrugged. “At least we know he’s a bottom. No top knows about things like that.”

Then Hal said, “Before you even think about being a good bottom, you have to make sure everything is impeccable and clean down there, so to speak. It’s the classy thing to do for the man you’re about to pleasure.”

Jim felt his face getting warm. Even though he knew what Hal was saying was true, he didn’t want to listen to it in front of Len and Arturo. “I think I’ve heard enough now.”

But as he reached to switch off the computer, he heard an odd noise. There was a bang and then a screech. It sounded as if someone had knocked over a chair. He heard a small dog barking in the background. He looked at the screen and noticed Hal had left his mark and the chair had been knocked over, and Jim could only hear voices somewhere else in the room.

“I’m not sure,” Jim said. “I don’t think it was planned. I think he’s on the other side of the room.”

Jim turned the volume up higher and they all heard Hal’s wrecked voice in the background. “Get out of here,” he said, with a strong hint of fear in his voice. “Get out of here and leave me alone.” The dog had stopped barking.

After moment of silence, Jim pressed his palm to his throat when he heard Hal begging. “No. Please, no. Leave me alone.”

“What’s happening?” Len asked. He stood up and walked over to the desk where Jim was sitting.

Arturo got up and joined them, too. “Where did he go?”“I’m not sure,” Jim said. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Maybe he went to get a double-headed dildo,” Len said.

“Stop joking,” said Jim. “I think something’s seriously wrong.”

Less than a second after Jim said this, there were three loud gunshots and the window on which they’d been watching Hal’s show went black. Jim grabbed his chest and said, “Holy shit. What was that?”

Len blinked and said, “If this isn’t a joke this guy needs some serious help.” He looked down at Jim and asked, “How do you always seem to get involved with people like this?”

Jim ignored that comment and reached for the phone. He did tend to attract the most unusual people into his life. “I have no idea what just happened, but I’m calling the police to make sure everything is all right.”

“Do we have to get involved in this?” Len asked. He’d always been more detached to this type of event. One of his favorite sayings was, “Don’t make your problem mine.” He’d learned how to put up the proverbial invisible wall to keep from dealing with too many unimportant demands. He’d always claimed it was his own brand of self-preservation.

But Jim couldn’t be that nonchalant about what he’d just seen and heard. “Yes, we have to get involved. We can’t just ignore it.”

Len frowned. “Maybe someone else who was watching called the cops.”

“What if we were the only people watching?”

Len made a face. “You have a point there.”

As Jim dialed the emergency number he took a deep breath. His heart had begun to race and he had so many thoughts crossing his mind he wasn’t sure where to focus. He didn’t really know Hal well. They’d met once and spoken on the phone a few times. But he did know Hal had a slightly questionable reputation and he hung out with some of the same criminal types Carol Greene had known. Hal had also mentioned that he’d been an investor in a porn web site Cain had once worked for called straightdudehouse.com. At the time, Jim just brushed it all off as being part of the territory with medical marijuana dispensaries. He’d learned they weren’t always as legal as everyone thought they were and the complications ran deeper than what most people realized. This was also why he wanted to sell. He didn’t want to be involved with anything that questionable.

And now there he was, on a quiet night when he should have been in bed with his husband, phoning the police for a shifty guy he barely knew who did webisodes about double-headed didoes. But worst of all, he grew overwhelmed with guilt when it occurred to him that his chances of selling the business would be ruined if anything had happened to Hal Robertson.

I don’t know why, but I can’t help finding the old rejection letters of people who went on to find huge success in life amusing. It shows that the gatekeepers don’t know as much as they tell you they know, and so much in the arts is subjective. The following link will take you to a site where there are a handful of these old rejection letters that people like Andy Warhol and yes, even Gertrude Stein received.

I think this shows unpublished writers so many things, but mostly that you can’t take any one person’s word too much to heart. I also think that nowadays with all the information we have it’s just as important for writers to vet agents as much as it used to be important for agents to vet writers. I came across an agent web site the other day where she disclosed she doesn’t own a TV. I don’t watch much TV myself, and I do think it’s dying out as a medium. However, the fact remains that TV is still a huge part of our culture, and whether you like it or not that’s not going to change any time soon. And if an agent isn’t interested in a HUGE part of our culture just for professional reasons, I would be very careful when querying her.

The best advice I ever read actually came from a well known literary agent’s blog. She said something basically to the effect of this: “I’ve never had a big book through the query process. All the big books I’ve had came from finding the writer and nurturing him or her over a period of time.”

Gay Homophobia

A British camp comic, Alan Carr, claims the most homophobia he gets is from other gays. He’s now the face of a new PETA campaign in which he wears pink fairy wings. The slogan is: “Be a Little Fairy For Animals.”

Several people on social media spoke out against the advert, describing it as ‘homophobic’. In response, Carr said on Twitter: ‘The “fairy” in the @Peta campaign refers to my Tooth Fairy DVD that’s all. Take my advice if you act like a victim you get treated like 1. ‘Don’t worry twitter they’ll be another bandwagon you can jump on in a minute zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ‘Hey and before all you oh so worthy gays get back on your high horse the most homophobia I get is from gays. #selfloathing Posting a little later, he added: ‘Well that last tweet shut them up!! Ha!

I’m not sure you can be gay and homophobic at the same time. That thought lacks reasoning, and rings a little of sour grapes. But I do actually think that sometimes we all need a better sense of humor. And whether or not you’re laughing at Carr or with him, it’s funny.

Because we’re approaching a holiday weekend for many, I thought I’d post a free excerpt today and tomorrow from a work in progress. This is from a new book in the Chase of a Lifetime series, tentatively titled, “Chase of a Rainbow.” Trust me, this is a very raw version. I’m only about 40,000 words into the novel and haven’t really taken much time to edit it. But I find that when I’m writing something from a series, the characters return to me faster than when I’m not.

No links. It’s not out yet. I’m shooting for a May release.

Chapter One

After Jim Darling-Mayfield inherited all of Carol Greene’s medical marijuana dispensaries, he decided the legal marijuana business wasn’t for him and he actively set out to sell them to someone who could appreciate that sort of business the same way Carol Greene had loved it.

Jim and his husband, Len Mayfield, had inherited the dispensaries together, but Len had given Jim permission to do whatever he wanted because Len was now actively working again at the family business, Branson Communications, and he didn’t have the time or the inclination to deal with cannabis. Although Jim had a full time career in marketing, he worked from home most of the time and he didn’t have as much pressure as Len so he usually handled the smaller things.

On a warm quiet night a few months after Carol Greene’s death, they were sitting in the family room of COAL Ranch…COAL was an acronym for Chase of a Lifetime…in Chatsworth, California and Jim was wondering if he’d ever get to bed that night. He’d put in a full day’s work in his home office on the third floor near the bell tower, he’d picked up their son, Culum, from school, he’d cooked dinner, helped Culum with his homework, and then put him to bed. And now he was working on a marketing project so he could sell the medical marijuana dispensaries to a guy who was the first serious buyer he’d found.

Len and Jim’s assistant, Arturo, were sitting on the other side of the family room playing cards and half listening to Jim’s computer in the background. They were listening to the computer because Jim was working on a marketing campaign for the guy who wanted to buy the marijuana dispensaries. Jim specialized in high end online marketing and his clients involved people from all walks of online commerce. One of the stipulations in the medical marijuana dispensary sale was that Jim had to agree to continue marketing the dispensaries online for the next two years. He’d been marketing them for Carol Greene and he’d had excellent results. The new buyer wanted this to continue and he’d insisted on having Jim stick around after the sale.

“Did Culum get off to bed okay?” Len asked, without looking up from the cards Arturo had just dealt him.

“I read him the Berenstain Bears, tucked him in, and Clinger is next to his bed snoring,” Jim said, without looking up from his desk. Clinger was a large, beige Labrador who would growl at any stranger who came near Culum’s bedroom at night.

“I’ll go in and check on him before I go to bed,” Len said.

A voice from the computer made an unusual comment about gay sex and Jim glanced at the screen and frowned.

Len stared at the cards in his hands and asked, “And why are we listening to this crap on the computer tonight?”

Jim sighed. “I told you. The guy who wants to buy the dispensaries has an online advice show about love and relationships for gay men. It’s his fourth webisode. I have to watch it. I really want him to buy the dispensaries and I want to impress him by showing him I watched. We don’t have time for anything as it is now and I want a simpler life, which means selling that business.” Since they’d moved to Chatsworth, they’d turned the ranch into a working ranch, they’d bought the ranch next door and turned it into a touristy gay dude ranch, and Len took over full time responsibilities for Branson Communications. They hadn’t planned any of this. The goal had been to move to Chatsworth and start a working ranch so Len could retire from investment banking and they could live simpler, quieter lives. Len’s ultimate dream had always been owning a working ranch. But then Len’s father passed away and he left Len a billion dollar communications corporation and Len couldn’t refuse. There was no one else to do it. Doris Branson, Len’s mother, knew nothing about business. And Len’s much younger brother, Caleb Branson, was now an ex Catholic priest who had come out of the closet and he was off somewhere in the world trying to find himself. Len had been estranged from his family for many years and Len’s mother and brother, Caleb, were willing to reconcile. Fate seemed to take control and Jim and Len found themselves in positions they couldn’t refuse even if they tried. Even the medical marijuana dispensaries happened by accident. Carol Greene had died saving their son’s life, and Jim felt a posthumous obligation to her heroic actions.

Len reached for a card and said, “This guy on the computer sucks. I don’t even know what he’s talking about now. Put on some music.”

Jim looked at the computer screen and frowned. Hal Robertson was a middle aged man with a paunch and no hair who had always wanted to be an A-list celebrity. In order to make a living until he became a star, he’d fallen into real estate and he’d done very well. His client list included major Hollywood celebrities and some of the most influential people in the world. But that wasn’t enough for Hal. He still wanted to be a star many years later and like so many others without talent he’d discovered the Internet as a viable resource. This series of webisodes he was doing concentrated on romantic advice to gay men who couldn’t seem to find the right person. While he sat in a chair in his home office in front of a webcam, viewers would chat with him and ask him questions on anything that ranged from gay sex to love. On that particular night he was answering a question about whether or not two bottoms can make a lasting relationship, Jim had a feeling no one else was actually watching Hal and he made the questions up himself.

Even Arturo seemed to be having a problem listening to Hal that night. “I can’t believe he just said that. There’s something wrong with this dude.” Hal had just told someone two bottoms can make it work, but sometimes they need to invest in a double-headed dildo.

Jim smiled. “Well, he’s not totally wrong. I don’t see why two bottoms can’t last if they have a double-headed dildo.” He was only joking around to see how Len and Arturo would react. He knew they both had strong opinions on this topic.

Len sent Jim a look and asked, “How would you like it if I got a nice big double-headed dildo for us?” He didn’t mind the fact that Arturo was in the room. Jim and Len had been experimenting with three-way sex for a while now, and they’d recently invited Arturo into their bedroom. Arturo had been seeing Len’s brother, Caleb, for a short time, but after years of being a priest Caleb wasn’t ready for a relationship and he’d left the US for a while to figure out his life. It was ironic because Jim had always thought Caleb would be the one to get hurt by Arturo. When this happened, Arturo had been devastated and Jim and Len had consoled him. One thing led to another and they wound up in bed one night. But it was always clear there was no emotional romantic attachment other than friendship; just a physical act of sex between two grown, adult men.

When Arturo heard Len’s comment about the dildo, he laughed so hard he lost a card in his hand.

As Arturo bent down to pick up his card, Jim sent Len a glance and said, “You know that’s not going to happen. If you ever decide you don’t want to top anymore I’ll be more than happy, if you want, to become the top in this marriage.” He had to hold back a smile. He knew how Len would react. “I’ve been dying to top you for years, husband.”

Len squared his back and said, “Well, you know that’s not going to happen any time soon, husband. Besides, you couldn’t go a week without getting tagged. You’d be climbing the bell tower.”

Arturo dropped another card and laughed harder.

Jim looked at the computer screen again and smiled. He couldn’t argue the point and he knew it. Although Jim could be versatile when he wanted to be, he’d always been honest with himself about sex. He liked being the bottom, he liked being more submissive in bed, and he even preferred being around aggressive top men like Len and Arturo when he wasn’t having sex. The thought of going longer than a week without having a man that way made his hands shaky just thinking about it.

On the computer, Hal started talking about how two bottoms in a relationship could use the double-headed dildo and Jim turned the volume up higher. Hal said, “The best way is for both guys to get on all fours and back into each other.”

Len groaned aloud and said, “I think that’s the only way to go in that kind of situation.”

Arturo laughed and said, “I’ve actually always wondered about this myself, to be honest. I once dated a guy who would only top and we didn’t even know what to do with each other. He kept trying to turn me around in bed, and I kept trying to turn him around. It was very frustrating.”

Jim looked at Arturo and smiled. Although he hadn’t expected anything sexual to happen with Arturo when he’d first hired him fresh out of college, he wasn’t disappointed that it had happened. Arturo had that longish, messy dark hair, and always the scruffy dark beard. His torso was smooth and muscular but his legs were dark and fuzzy. There were times when Jim just loved rubbing his face up and down Arturo’s legs.

Len looked at Arturo and said, “That happened to me once, too. I was like what the fuck, man? Turn over. Lift those legs up, baby.” Len tended to get overly aggressive and macho for show at times. Jim always thought it was his need to overcompensate for spending the majority of his life in the closet. He couldn’t help himself; it was the least of Jim’s worries.

“What did you do?” Arturo asked.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Yes, what did you do, husband? Did he lift up his legs?” He didn’t show it, but tended to get a little jealous when Len boasted about past lovers.

Len shrugged and picked up another card. “I gave up and found myself a hot little power bottom named Jim Darling who won’t put his pretty legs down.”

Jim smiled and said, “You’re disgusting.” They had the same unusual sense of humor and it always kept them laughing about stupid things, especially stupid things regarding sex.

I don’t know why, but I can’t help finding the old rejection letters of people who went on to find huge success in life amusing. It shows that the gatekeepers don’t know as much as they tell you they know, and so much in the arts is subjective. The following link will take you to a site where there are a handful of these old rejection letters that people like Andy Warhol and yes, even Gertrude Stein received.

I think this shows unpublished writers so many things, but mostly that you can’t take any one person’s word too much to heart. I also think that nowadays with all the information we have it’s just as important for writers to vet agents as much as it used to be important for agents to vet writers. I came across an agent web site the other day where she disclosed she doesn’t own a TV. I don’t watch much TV myself, and I do think it’s dying out as a medium. However, the fact remains that TV is still a huge part of our culture, and whether you like it or not that’s not going to change any time soon. And if an agent isn’t interested in a HUGE part of our culture just for professional reasons, I would be very careful when querying her.

The best advice I ever read actually came from a well known literary agent’s blog. She said something basically to the effect of this: “I’ve never had a big book through the query process. All the big books I’ve had came from finding the writer and nurturing him or her over a period of time.”

Gay Homophobia

A British camp comic, Alan Carr, claims the most homophobia he gets is from other gays. He’s now the face of a new PETA campaign in which he wears pink fairy wings. The slogan is: “Be a Little Fairy For Animals.”

Several people on social media spoke out against the advert, describing it as ‘homophobic’. In response, Carr said on Twitter: ‘The “fairy” in the @Peta campaign refers to my Tooth Fairy DVD that’s all. Take my advice if you act like a victim you get treated like 1. ‘Don’t worry twitter they’ll be another bandwagon you can jump on in a minute zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ‘Hey and before all you oh so worthy gays get back on your high horse the most homophobia I get is from gays. #selfloathing Posting a little later, he added: ‘Well that last tweet shut them up!! Ha!

I’m not sure you can be gay and homophobic at the same time. That thought lacks reasoning, and rings a little of sour grapes. But I do actually think that sometimes we all need a better sense of humor. And whether or not you’re laughing at Carr or with him, it’s funny.

Because we’re approaching a holiday weekend for many, I thought I’d post a free excerpt today and tomorrow from a work in progress. This is from a new book in the Chase of a Lifetime series, tentatively titled, “Chase of a Rainbow.” Trust me, this is a very raw version. I’m only about 40,000 words into the novel and haven’t really taken much time to edit it. But I find that when I’m writing something from a series, the characters return to me faster than when I’m not.

No links. It’s not out yet. I’m shooting for a May release.

Chapter One

After Jim Darling-Mayfield inherited all of Carol Greene’s medical marijuana dispensaries, he decided the legal marijuana business wasn’t for him and he actively set out to sell them to someone who could appreciate that sort of business the same way Carol Greene had loved it.

Jim and his husband, Len Mayfield, had inherited the dispensaries together, but Len had given Jim permission to do whatever he wanted because Len was now actively working again at the family business, Branson Communications, and he didn’t have the time or the inclination to deal with cannabis. Although Jim had a full time career in marketing, he worked from home most of the time and he didn’t have as much pressure as Len so he usually handled the smaller things.

On a warm quiet night a few months after Carol Greene’s death, they were sitting in the family room of COAL Ranch…COAL was an acronym for Chase of a Lifetime…in Chatsworth, California and Jim was wondering if he’d ever get to bed that night. He’d put in a full day’s work in his home office on the third floor near the bell tower, he’d picked up their son, Culum, from school, he’d cooked dinner, helped Culum with his homework, and then put him to bed. And now he was working on a marketing project so he could sell the medical marijuana dispensaries to a guy who was the first serious buyer he’d found.

Len and Jim’s assistant, Arturo, were sitting on the other side of the family room playing cards and half listening to Jim’s computer in the background. They were listening to the computer because Jim was working on a marketing campaign for the guy who wanted to buy the marijuana dispensaries. Jim specialized in high end online marketing and his clients involved people from all walks of online commerce. One of the stipulations in the medical marijuana dispensary sale was that Jim had to agree to continue marketing the dispensaries online for the next two years. He’d been marketing them for Carol Greene and he’d had excellent results. The new buyer wanted this to continue and he’d insisted on having Jim stick around after the sale.

“Did Culum get off to bed okay?” Len asked, without looking up from the cards Arturo had just dealt him.

“I read him the Berenstain Bears, tucked him in, and Clinger is next to his bed snoring,” Jim said, without looking up from his desk. Clinger was a large, beige Labrador who would growl at any stranger who came near Culum’s bedroom at night.

“I’ll go in and check on him before I go to bed,” Len said.

A voice from the computer made an unusual comment about gay sex and Jim glanced at the screen and frowned.

Len stared at the cards in his hands and asked, “And why are we listening to this crap on the computer tonight?”

Jim sighed. “I told you. The guy who wants to buy the dispensaries has an online advice show about love and relationships for gay men. It’s his fourth webisode. I have to watch it. I really want him to buy the dispensaries and I want to impress him by showing him I watched. We don’t have time for anything as it is now and I want a simpler life, which means selling that business.” Since they’d moved to Chatsworth, they’d turned the ranch into a working ranch, they’d bought the ranch next door and turned it into a touristy gay dude ranch, and Len took over full time responsibilities for Branson Communications. They hadn’t planned any of this. The goal had been to move to Chatsworth and start a working ranch so Len could retire from investment banking and they could live simpler, quieter lives. Len’s ultimate dream had always been owning a working ranch. But then Len’s father passed away and he left Len a billion dollar communications corporation and Len couldn’t refuse. There was no one else to do it. Doris Branson, Len’s mother, knew nothing about business. And Len’s much younger brother, Caleb Branson, was now an ex Catholic priest who had come out of the closet and he was off somewhere in the world trying to find himself. Len had been estranged from his family for many years and Len’s mother and brother, Caleb, were willing to reconcile. Fate seemed to take control and Jim and Len found themselves in positions they couldn’t refuse even if they tried. Even the medical marijuana dispensaries happened by accident. Carol Greene had died saving their son’s life, and Jim felt a posthumous obligation to her heroic actions.

Len reached for a card and said, “This guy on the computer sucks. I don’t even know what he’s talking about now. Put on some music.”

Jim looked at the computer screen and frowned. Hal Robertson was a middle aged man with a paunch and no hair who had always wanted to be an A-list celebrity. In order to make a living until he became a star, he’d fallen into real estate and he’d done very well. His client list included major Hollywood celebrities and some of the most influential people in the world. But that wasn’t enough for Hal. He still wanted to be a star many years later and like so many others without talent he’d discovered the Internet as a viable resource. This series of webisodes he was doing concentrated on romantic advice to gay men who couldn’t seem to find the right person. While he sat in a chair in his home office in front of a webcam, viewers would chat with him and ask him questions on anything that ranged from gay sex to love. On that particular night he was answering a question about whether or not two bottoms can make a lasting relationship, Jim had a feeling no one else was actually watching Hal and he made the questions up himself.

Even Arturo seemed to be having a problem listening to Hal that night. “I can’t believe he just said that. There’s something wrong with this dude.” Hal had just told someone two bottoms can make it work, but sometimes they need to invest in a double-headed dildo.

Jim smiled. “Well, he’s not totally wrong. I don’t see why two bottoms can’t last if they have a double-headed dildo.” He was only joking around to see how Len and Arturo would react. He knew they both had strong opinions on this topic.

Len sent Jim a look and asked, “How would you like it if I got a nice big double-headed dildo for us?” He didn’t mind the fact that Arturo was in the room. Jim and Len had been experimenting with three-way sex for a while now, and they’d recently invited Arturo into their bedroom. Arturo had been seeing Len’s brother, Caleb, for a short time, but after years of being a priest Caleb wasn’t ready for a relationship and he’d left the US for a while to figure out his life. It was ironic because Jim had always thought Caleb would be the one to get hurt by Arturo. When this happened, Arturo had been devastated and Jim and Len had consoled him. One thing led to another and they wound up in bed one night. But it was always clear there was no emotional romantic attachment other than friendship; just a physical act of sex between two grown, adult men.

When Arturo heard Len’s comment about the dildo, he laughed so hard he lost a card in his hand.

As Arturo bent down to pick up his card, Jim sent Len a glance and said, “You know that’s not going to happen. If you ever decide you don’t want to top anymore I’ll be more than happy, if you want, to become the top in this marriage.” He had to hold back a smile. He knew how Len would react. “I’ve been dying to top you for years, husband.”

Len squared his back and said, “Well, you know that’s not going to happen any time soon, husband. Besides, you couldn’t go a week without getting tagged. You’d be climbing the bell tower.”

Arturo dropped another card and laughed harder.

Jim looked at the computer screen again and smiled. He couldn’t argue the point and he knew it. Although Jim could be versatile when he wanted to be, he’d always been honest with himself about sex. He liked being the bottom, he liked being more submissive in bed, and he even preferred being around aggressive top men like Len and Arturo when he wasn’t having sex. The thought of going longer than a week without having a man that way made his hands shaky just thinking about it.

On the computer, Hal started talking about how two bottoms in a relationship could use the double-headed dildo and Jim turned the volume up higher. Hal said, “The best way is for both guys to get on all fours and back into each other.”

Len groaned aloud and said, “I think that’s the only way to go in that kind of situation.”

Arturo laughed and said, “I’ve actually always wondered about this myself, to be honest. I once dated a guy who would only top and we didn’t even know what to do with each other. He kept trying to turn me around in bed, and I kept trying to turn him around. It was very frustrating.”

Jim looked at Arturo and smiled. Although he hadn’t expected anything sexual to happen with Arturo when he’d first hired him fresh out of college, he wasn’t disappointed that it had happened. Arturo had that longish, messy dark hair, and always the scruffy dark beard. His torso was smooth and muscular but his legs were dark and fuzzy. There were times when Jim just loved rubbing his face up and down Arturo’s legs.

Len looked at Arturo and said, “That happened to me once, too. I was like what the fuck, man? Turn over. Lift those legs up, baby.” Len tended to get overly aggressive and macho for show at times. Jim always thought it was his need to overcompensate for spending the majority of his life in the closet. He couldn’t help himself; it was the least of Jim’s worries.

“What did you do?” Arturo asked.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Yes, what did you do, husband? Did he lift up his legs?” He didn’t show it, but tended to get a little jealous when Len boasted about past lovers.

Len shrugged and picked up another card. “I gave up and found myself a hot little power bottom named Jim Darling who won’t put his pretty legs down.”

Jim smiled and said, “You’re disgusting.” They had the same unusual sense of humor and it always kept them laughing about stupid things, especially stupid things regarding sex.

Author of over 100 published LGBT romance novels and stories, including AN OFFICER AND HIS GENTLEMAN and best selling VIRGIN BILLIONAIRE SERIES. Hates beets.
New Hope, PA Palm Springs, CA
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