I am fascinated by accents. Any accents – I’m not fussy. I love to place accents and very often I get it wrong. I once asked my South African neighbour if he was from Australia. Another time, I confused an Irish accent with a French accent. Exactly! That’s how wrong I sometimes get them. But I’m very keen to learn and on the rare occasions when I do get it right, then I am often rewarded with a very welcoming smile and the opportunity to converse with ‘my new accent’ and the person accompanying it.

Recently, however, I am wondering should there be some sort of unwritten etiquette governing the use of accents in everyday life? And not just any accents, but the ones that don’t belong to you, I mean. For example if you are not from Germany, then should you attempt to speak, say English embellishing your words with a strong German tone to make your German acquaintance feel more comfortable? I have been giving this serious thought after talking with (I’ll call her) Linda, who told me that after a few days in her new job working at the Ministry of Justice, she happened to find herself in the enviable position of engaging in conversation with one of the judges who worked there. The conversation went something like this:

Judge: “Hello, I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here?”
Linda: [A little shy and perhaps somewhat overawed] “Um … yes, I only started working here a few days ago.”
Judge: “You’re not from here are you? What part of the Caribbean are you from?”
Linda: “Well I was born here …”
Judge: “No … no. Where are your ….?”
Linda: “But my parents are from Jamaica”
Judge: “Ohh … ah Jamaica you come from! ‘Ow tings back a yard?”
Linda: “Pardon?”
Judge: “Oh well, enough of this nonsense! Ho ho ho …” Perhaps a little embarrassed and surprised by Linda’s reaction to his attempt at what he perceived to be his friendly attempt at the Jamaican ‘language’, his face turned bright pink as he went on his way, nose in the air, wig slightly askew and the tail of his black robe swishing in the air of mild confusion.

When Linda related the story to me that evening I was quite astonished that a judge would have nothing more sophisticated to say. His enquiry about the state of the country using what to me sounded like a feeble attempt at Jamaican patois to a new and junior member of staff on first meeting disturbed me. Was the only way that he felt he could connect with someone from a different country to speak to her in what he assumed to be, her language? Was this an attempt to put her at ease and show her that he could ‘get down with the lingo’ so to speak? What if Linda had spoken to him in an ‘upper class’ refined accent in a bid to elevate herself to his level and make him feel at home? “Oh, what ho! Judge Snodgrass. Delighted to meet you old boy!” Would he have found that charming or patronising? I wonder.

Later, on reflection, I thought to myself, wasn’t I being a tad hypocritical? Earlier that same year whilst in the process of moving home, we were blessed with the services of an excellent removal company and one of the employees was an Irish man. He was amiable and amusing. At no point did he attempt to speak Jamaican to me, but during the course of the move, an opportunity arose for me to try out my Irish. The van was parked outside my new neighbour’s home thereby preventing access to her driveway. She was Irish. She very kindly said it was not a problem while she parked further down the street. I came back to the Irish removal man [John] and said in my best Irish accent:

“To be sure, to be sure, it’s one of your countrymen over there!”

Did John take umbrage? No he did not. But with the broadest smile informed me that I had a lousy Irish accent!
And another time, on finding that a fellow-blogger hailed from Australia, I immediately started making references to ‘Sheila’, ‘barbies’ and a few ‘fair dinkums’ – all in the same sentence! And again, nothing was said in retaliation, and my comments were taken in the spirit of friendship.

This leads me then to re-examine my reaction to the Judge’s remarks. Was he perfectly within his rights to speak Jamaican when the occasion calls for it? Was he justified in his behaviour? Am I being judge –ist? Am I a hypocrite and is it time for me to hypo-quit?

~ Marie Williams – 2018

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100 thoughts on “Am I a Hypocrite and is it time for me to Hypo-quit?”

As a foreigner(Scot) in a strange land(USA), I was initially annoyed by people trying to copy my accent, and even more so when they asked me if I was Australian, Irish, South African, or Scotch-Irish.(Which doesn’t exist outside of the US) Now I laugh it off… and tell them their accent is hopeless.
That judge was just plain ignorant though! xo

Thanks Val for sharing here. I completely understand how you would be irritated by people doing this. And I like the fact that you’ve found a way to deal with it. I thought the judge was ignorant too – in some circumstances you have to know how to approach others in a professional way. xo

For some folks, it could be difficult to distinguish between Scottish and Irish accents, and hence it would be even more awkward or off-putting if the mimic of accent veers precariously or uncharacteristically from one accent to another.

I also wonder if one would feel more or less offended if the copying of accent is carried out during a big celebration or festival. For example, would one feel more flattered and less likely to be offended if the mimicry or copying is done in the spirit of the occasion so that everyone feels more immersed in the celebration or festival by speaking the language of the folks celebrating the occasion? In any case, it is often the case that some Asians such as Chinese feel rather impressed that certain Caucasians try to mimic as accurately as possible the accent or intonation of Mandarin or some Chinese dialects, as these tonal languages can be exceedingly difficult to master, and the wrong tones can instantly convey different meanings altogether, potentially leading to embarrassments or miscommunications. Speaking of such occasions and opportunities to learn to speak or mimic in Asian tongues as well as experiencing Asian cultures, I would like to wish all of you a very happy Chinese New Year with my special post published at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/02/10/soundeagle-in-chinese-new-year-celebration-spring-festival-lion-dance-traditional-culture-and-architecture/

The lunar New Year is celebrated for 16 days, during which citruses, especially the mandarin (to be eaten as a fruit as well as spoken as a language), are in very high demand.

Thanks SoundEagle for such an informative comment. I certainly didn’t know that about the Chinese and their attitude to certain types of mimicry. On the whole, it’s perhaps wiser to steer clear of mimicking others accents if it might cause offence. I think the only way it is acceptable is if you know the other person/s well enough to know that they are ok with it. Or, if you are at an event where you know that that is likely to occur, such as a comedy event. And even then, it does depend on the material – not everyone is able to laugh at themselves and perhaps for good reason.

Thanks for the link and I wish you a very happy Chinese New Year too! 🙂

Thank you Pablo. I, like you, frequently do this. Most people I speak to (whether I get it wrong or not) are happy to speak with me and share a little about their culture which makes it fun getting to know others.

I grew up in NYC which is a melting pot. Accents there abound. I think, however, the attitude toward accents has changed over the years.

When I was a girl, humor featuring accents was common. Comedian Bill Dana played a dim but lovable character (Jose Jimenez) w/ a thick Hispanic accent. “The Education of Hyman Kaplan” by Leo Rosten was recommended reading for school children.

The popular TV program “The Big Bang Theory” still capitalizes on accents, most especially those of the characters Raj Koothrappali and Mrs. Wolowitz (now deceased).

Today, however, many people take offense if others attempt to imitate them. Ethnic humor — except by those who share the ethnicity — is no longer acceptable. People feel belittled and stereotyped by it. Even the Mark Twain classic “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” (a study in racism which features accents) is handled w/ extreme care in schools.

You may use accents in a spirit of friendship and fun. But your intentions are likely to be misunderstood.

Thank you Anna. Yes, you make very insightful comments on the way attitudes have changed towards accents over the years. I, too, remember as a child being annoyed and embarrassed about the way certain television programmes made fun of non-British accents, but I suppose as I got older I began to relax a little about it and can find it quite funny if it is done in a non-malicious way.
I would never in a professional capacity mimic someone I had only just met though, and tend to indulge in banter of that nature in an intuitive way. And I think if there is an understanding and it’s mutually done, people tend not to be offended. I think it’s wise to be sensitive to others feelings where upset might be caused though.

Hi Anna,
I agree with your excellent comment in general, though I also mentioned in an earlier comment to Val Boyko and Marie that the reception or response to someone mimicking accents may also depend on the situation, culture, race, language and occasion.

What a coincidence! Or it could be subconscious synchronization. . . . . . being our latest posts and the first image in the post and a presiding judge . . . . . that’s actually at least three coincidences at once!

The message will remain an enigma for the moment. Speaking of SoundEagle’s latest post containing three of more coincidences or synchronizations with your latest post here, please kindly be informed that ten new features have been implemented: One sophisticated navigational Menu appended just below the topmost image depicting the presiding judge; and nine highly stylized headings delineating the contents of the post and titling its nine major sections at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2017/10/18/the-quotation-fallacy/

Hard to judge (ho-ho) at a distance, isn’t it? I think one has to be privy to the psychological, social and emotional context to ascertain whether such speech mimicry is appropriate. It’s easy enough for remote communications direct between two parties to be misinterpreted — e.g. emails, blog comments, etc. — let alone twice removed accounts of others’ conversations. Not sure if context is everything, but it counts for a lot.

I think you are spot on in your judgement, Hariod. It is so easy for communications to be misinterpreted and offence taken. Fortunately for me, in the cases where I have done this it has not been a cause for offence, but a mutual source of amusement. I think as you say, context counts for a lot and I have noticed the odd Scottish remark on your blog between you and a certain Scottish lady which made me chuckle.:)
Thanks for your, as usual, insightful comments and your sense of humour.

Beloved, thank you for contributing and for making this very valid point – context and intent are key and where would be if we couldn’t poke fun at ourselves, providing we don’t intentionally mean to harm or offend?
ps. I do a mean Indian accent. lol xo

And I’m sure you do ace that Indian accent 😉 Speaking of accent reminds me of the TV serial “mind your language” that used to telecast way back in 1970’s. I’m a huge fan of Jeremy brown and used to mimic his English speaking skills all the time :P..

All I know is that here in Hawaii we get people from all over the world. I know a few Pidgin phrases I use on locals I regularly encounter, but other than that, I keep mum. I think it’s cool that you imitate people’s accents, but I can see where it might offend. But you know, Marie, there’s no accounting for human behavior. What one considers flattery is an outright insult to another. So on we go! As the Hawaiians say, ‘Nothing ‘fo do!’ Aloha sweet. ❤

Thank you Bela. I think I may have given the wrong impression here about imitating other’s accents willy nilly. 🙂 I wouldn’t do that with a someone I had only just met. It really is a matter of getting acquainted and being on friendly terms first, then knowing intuitively that both parties are ok with it. As for using Pidgin phrases with the other locals in a community that you are a part of, I think everyone does that really to get by – I wouldn’t consider that likely to cause offence at all. But then, that’s me. And as you say, there is no accounting for human behaviour – we all have our own opinion and that’s fine – we’re always learning while we are here. Aloha, dear Bela. xo

Thank you for your honesty! I speak four languages, but my oral diction is not my strong, and I end up passing for a foreigner almost everywhere. Perhaps you have a facility at certain accents like the Irish one because you once lived there in another life? It could be interesting to explore! And concerning your reflection about whether we should tailor our accent to the person in front of us, well it sounds quite nice to make that person at ease (in the right way!) if she is shy or homesick, but otherwise when two persons are at the same level, I believe each should stick to his true self. But again perhaps in the spirit world there are “facilitators” who are gifted with languages and accents like you, who will make you hear the talk of your interlocutor in your own patois, and vice versa.

Thank you very much Erik for sharing your thoughts. I wish I could speak four languages, but I am hopeless. Kudos to you!
It’s interesting what you say about ‘past lives’ and accents. I don’t know if that is so with me, but it sounds as if it would be fun to explore.
I only wrote this piece in a light-hearted way as a response to my friend’s experience with the judge. I just found it patronising that he should speak to someone he barely knew like that because it didn’t seem to me to be very professional.
I think if you are going to try out accents, then it should be in the full knowledge that you won’t be causing any offence – likely that you are on friendly terms with the other and you’re both ok with it.
I wouldn’t say that I was at all gifted with languages and accents, Erik, but I do like listening to and finding out about other people. I note what you say about ‘past lives’ and the spirit world – is this something that you know much about? Have you had a past life that you know of and care to share? And by the way, are you Italian? I hope I’m not making assumptions here!
Thanks again, Erik.:)

Don’t doubt your own gifts, when you have a strong interest for something it’s often related to something within you that demands to be expressed!
At the contrary, I love daring assumptions and questions, that’s what allows us to better understand ourselves and life! And never mind when we are wrong.
I’ve lived in Lebanon most of my life, but I also am related to Italy and France (so yes, you were right in your assumption), and now live in Switzerland.
I’m not an expert or a guru, but I’m a keen observer and I’ve decided six months ago to leave my engineering job and dedicate my life to writing and thinking. So with the additional time I have I can do a lot more! And I’m not anymore forced to live a lie against myself by going to a work I don’t like every day.
I’ve written a few pieces about origins and suspected past lives of mine. Don’t feel compelled to read them all, just the ones that arouse your curiosity!
The first about being a stranger everywhere https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2018/01/14/im-a-stranger-everywhere/
A reflection about the languages I choose for writing https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2018/02/01/languages-langues/
A strong feeling I had when I visited Marseilles, and a strong sense of unfairness lead to this piece https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2018/01/12/marseilles/
I’ve also written a couple of other stories about the theme but I don’t want to drown you!
Thank you for your interest and looking forward to read other pieces you’ve written!

Thank you so much Erik for sharing with me like this. I am so grateful that you have taken the time to send such a considered reply and for all the links, which I will look at shortly.
Funnily enough I was watching a TV programme about the Lebanon on Friday – it was largely about cookery – I so wish I’d paid more attention, now that I’m having this conversation with you.:)
When I was younger and took a trip to Paris, I had the strongest feeling for a very long time that I had a connection with that country and even (secretly) entertained the idea that I had lived there at one time. This is long before I even knew anything about past lives. I just felt that I had spent time there – and the cobbled streets just resonated with me in a way that I can’t quite explain. I was hopeless in French lessons at school, so I quickly talked myself out of that ‘past life’ connection, but I still have this strong feeling. Where I am going with this is that I completely get you when you speak about Marseilles ….
I love your first paragraph in this comment – it really jumped out at me … so glad we’re connected, Erik! 🙂

I’m glad of having connected with you too!
Funnily I also have the same problem with Lebanon. It is my homeland and I love it, I love its mountains and its sea and its history. And yet I struggle and struggle to speak Arabic and people say I speak Arabic like an Armenian, which is not a compliment as you can imagine!
And I tell to myself that perhaps one part of my past is related to Lebanon but for a reason or another there is a blockage with that, and that’s why my Arabic skills are so dramatically poor, when I’m rather skilled with other languages.
Perhaps it is the same for you with France. It’s something that deserves to be explored I believe! What feeling comes to your mind when you walk in Paris streets? Who could you have been? How does it relate to your present self, to your fears and blockages and traumas? And to the things you love too!

If only I could speak other languages, Erik! I would be quite content to speak Arabic like an Armenian!:) But I see what you mean, about blockages and the like. Life is such a huge mystery that we do stumble around in the dark trying to make sense of it all from the limited sources that we are privy to. Some of us are able to connect with spirit and the non-physical plane more than others. And I suppose part of the intrigue and fun is sharing with others how much of a connection you have and vice versa.
With France, and because I’ve not been there for many years, that spiritual connection and feeling of ‘already seen’ is perhaps not as strong, but I do feel as if I was a peasant girl, but very happy and strangely enough there’s a feeling of connection to royalty and palaces – maybe I worked in that environment? Who’s to say? I’m not sure about blockages and trauma though, because the ones I experience today seem to be very much connected to my present life …
I always have a sense of peace and excitement and a feeling of hopefulness whenever I’ve been in France in places like Paris, Marseilles …
Thanks for sharing!:)

Well to be honest Erik, most of the poems I write are autobiographical in some way or the other, but they also speak to a wider audience of those who have suffered childhood abuse and survived. I like to think that sharing my story resonates with those who have had the same experiences or even those who haven’t, so that they are aware of how these things affect one’s mental health, and that you can overcome and live a full life. I like to show compassion and also let others know that they are not alone. If you look back in the archives, you’ll get a feel of this: I can suggest: ‘When the Rain Came’, ‘Alice, Milton and Oscar: Making Sense of it All’, ‘Missing You’, ‘Secrets’ etc. I do hope I’ve got the titles right – I just wrote without first checking the accuracy – but you should find them quite easily … I just hope I don’t end up depressing you too much!:)

Yes, I know what you mean! All my writings too are autobiographical in a way. They’re all little pieces adding together to tell a story. I’ve found your about section, so I know a little more about you now and your multiple presence on several blogs too! And I guess how writing is important for you.
Don’t worry about depressing me, I’m strong enough to cope with sadness.
I will read the texts you advice me to read in due time!
To carry on with what I was saying, recently the fact of systematically being called Armenian made me suddenly think that perhaps I had a past related to that. And the same day my sister sent me a street music in Istanbul. And the story developed in my mind and I wrote it and I cried at the end, it was quite tragic https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2018/01/06/the-armenian-and-the-sultanah/
Have a good day Marie!

Yes, I can see how the references to being Armenian and the fact that your sister sending you street music relating to Istanbul could resonate with you in the way that you describe. Like you said, in a previous comment, Erik, the resonance of something deep within could possibly mean that your soul is trying to connect on a deeper level and sending messages of former spiritual connections. This is fascinating, and I quickly read through the link you sent to get a feel of what you meant. I need to re-read more slowly in due course to get a stronger sense of the story.
There might indeed be more than a modicum of ‘truth’ in your tale about being Armenian – I don’t doubt it!
Thanks for sharing and you too have a good day, Erik! 🙂

Hi Marie: I believe people recognize the light in your heart and take no offence in your inquisitive efforts to connect with and understand them. Curiosity is a magical thing, it can bring together many people who otherwise would not be a part of each other’s lives. Most people are happy to share their heritage and language when approached with love. You are right though, the situation you described where a senior employee (manager – owner etc) puts on an accent of a junior employee is not a good one. I often wonder what my accent sounds like. I’m Canadian but have lived in many different parts of Canada and in Germany. I know I don’t sound like someone from western Canada nor like someone from eastern Canada. If someone were to present me with my accent I would probably burst out laughing and not recognize myself. In love and light, Cheryle

Thank you Cheryle for taking the time to comment. I agree wholeheartedly with what you say. Yes of course, every situation is different and discretion is needed when dealing with others where there is likely to be offence taken. And as long as we are sincere and kind, I don’t doubt that others will reflect that.
It’s funny what you say about hearing yourself though, I always feel self-conscious listening to myself speak – I’m convinced I don’t sound like that! But I do! LOL
I’m sure you sound lovely … 🙂
In love and light, Marie

I think Maria. we all judge whether we realise it or not.. I enjoyed your post, sorry I am so late in arriving at it.. You’d make a good argument in a court of law 😉 lol
Have a lovely day, from a Derbyshire Lass, 😀

I once guessed that a physician was from Scotland. He said, no I am not from Scotland but I am from a small area of England that is right on the border of Scotland. LOL!!! So usually I am right. He ended up complimenting me on being ‘close.’

I really had to laugh when you said that you got an Australian and South African accent mixed up. I did almost the exact same thing when I tried to guess a coworker’s accent. I said, South African?” And he smiled and said, “No, but it’s not a bad guess, I am actually from New Zealand.” I was like, “Damn, how wrong could I be?”

Interestingly enough, I read somewhere that speakers from the southern area of any region tend to have something of a “twang” to their accent. Be it Australia, South Africa, The Southern US….I’ve even heard that people who live in Southern Italy have a twang compared to people who live in Northern Italy.

Oh and please don’t get me started with people trying to bond with you by speaking what they think is your language; especially something as complex as Jamaican Patois. He needed Mystic Marie to school him!

And you should see the look on my face when I hear people, who are not African American, say things to me like “Giiiiirlll..they be trippin…What’s up wit dat?”
Seriously?

Don’t get me wrong, I code switch all the time, but in either case I am comfortable speaking in black Southern dialiect or, as you might say, “The Queen’s English.” LOL!!!
But I know when to do which!

Tally ho Lady G! You simply won’t believe how much I larffed when I read this. You really are a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day – what ho! *In the Oueen’s English*
Honestly Gwin, you crack me up EVERYTIME!!! You are so funny. I’m going to randomly address certain points, so bear with me: Yea – ‘Jamaican patois’ ain’t even a language – it’s the Queen’s English spiced up – ya get me?? lol
And how funny about us getting South African/Australian mixed up – they do sound very alike don’t they? Obviously only special people like ‘us’ are able to hear the similarity.
Completely with you on ‘ … they be trippin …’ Seriously??!!
Your final observation is spot on: It’s essential to know when to do which. The Judge in question ought to be reminded of this.
Thank you dear one for your very thoughtful and considered
response – I loved it! :))

Grace. I have been thinking about this a lot in my own attitude. If love is not easily offended, then the foolish things we tend to do with each other don’t matter. The other person has value, whether they get the “accent” of their attitude right.

Great insights Marie. I’m going to use “Am I a Hypocrite and is it time for me to Hypo-quit?” when I catch myself being critical of others, or for that matter myself.

I think I’ve noticed offense primarily when the other person is white. Maybe that’s due to the underlying nature of race relations across this earth, but I’m far less offended if the person’s skin color is brown.

Thanks Kathy. I’m inclined to agree with you here. And “race relations across this earth”, as you say will always play a huge part in terms of how mimicry is viewed and tolerated. It will in almost all cases be seen as offensive when linked to racism.

Thanks for commenting MSW. That’s a good point you make. It wasn’t so much that he was a judge – it was more that he was in a senior/managerial position and this was the very first conversation he had had with her. He did not know her – for all he knew, she could have been a judge too, but not in her robe.
To answer your question – the comment would still have been offensive had he not been a judge because I don’t think you can assume that it’s ok to mimic what you think might be someone’s accent/dialect unless you are well acquainted. Patois is not a language. It would’ve been understandable if it was say French, German, Chinese etc – which are established languages. Then it probably would’ve been a compliment.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and for your link which I intend to read as soon as I can. Apologies for not responding sooner, but I’ve been busy trying to catch up with comments. Kind regards.