"Pressure to be what you aren't can cause lifelong confusion. If you are obliged to fit into a certain group mentality that really doesn't suit you (this could be a family dynamic, a school or community setting, or a professional environment), you may end up denying your true nature and not enjoying your required role. If you spend twenty years at a job you don't enjoy, you may end up not only out of touch with your natural interests but—even worse—with a distorted view of your own competence." (p. 90)

"People stay with roles that frustrate them because of the dynamics of the structure. Something about their own lives, relationships, or position makes each person 'right' for the part he plays. It all seems so predetermined, yet the factors that create this may, individually, be quite inconsequential. People may even be drawn into the roles which clash with their personalities. Then, horrifyingly, their personalities may change over time to match the role they have been given." (p. 412)