Five Reasons Why I Would Be Happy To Date A Feminist

So i was answering a question recently which asked people whether or not they would date a feminist. Quite a few people voted and continue to vote, and so far, about 2/3rds of men voting said no, while a third said they would. Personally, i stood with the one-third of men that would date a feminist and I thought I'd list my reasons as to why. I think a lot of guys have a bit of knee-jerk reaction to the word feminism, which is understandable given some of the erroneous facts and laws that have been pushed in the name of feminism and gender equality over the years....however I do find that if you take a closer look at the average woman who does label herself as a feminist, you'll find that there is nothing any more or less dangerous about her than any other woman who chooses not to call themselves feminist. I've always had a more nuanced view to things, and feminism has been no exception. Anyways, here are my top five reasons as to why dating a real feminist can actually be a great thing:

Reason 1: Real Feminists Are Independent

Probably one of the best reasons why one would date a feminist (a real one) in my view is that they tend to be fairly independent. They enjoy to pay their own way, and not rely on anyone to support their lifestyle. Their independence means that they often aren't as clingy as a typical girl, as they are often accustomed to relying on themselves anyways. In my view, what makes a real feminist sexy is the fact that when one does choose you as her boyfriend, she does so because she wants you in her life, not because she needs you. This is probably the most advantageous position to be in, as its less likely that she'll want to take your stuff if she already has stuff of her own.

Reason 2: Real Feminists Are Empathetic

I've noticed that a lot of people who i'd consider to be real feminists are probably amongst the most empathetic people you'll meet. A large part of their empathy comes from the fact that they tend to be more in touch with societal inequalities that affect other people, which naturally occurs while they are on their own journey to discover the difficulties women face in today's society. Now, these supposed inequalities that exist for women in the western world may be up for some debate, as i often do, but it doesn't take away from the fact that real feminists have a lot of compassion for people who are struggling...almost to a fault.

Reason 3: Real Feminists Are Often Intellectually Stimulating

The natural result of a woman paving her own way in life is that she ends up being quite well learned, often studying very advanced subjects in order to acquire a degree. Beyond that, they often can be very curious and inquisitive, which propels them to seek out and learn things on their own outside of the classroom, picking up knowledge and skills that they could even pass on to you if you pick their brains hard enough. These are people you could hold a conversation with, talking about things that actually matter, or have some practical use or purpose. Those are the kind of women that can keep you interested for quite a long time.

Reason 4: Real Feminists Actually Do Like Men

Contrary to popular belief, real feminists actually do like the opposite sex...so much so that they'll bring the issues they suffer through to public attention. They are often the ones who challenge the perception that only a woman should have custody of the children after a divorce, the legitimacy of alimony in the developed world and the rampant rise of male suicide rates. Real feminists are generally concerned with inequality suffered on both sides, and as stated in reason two, they can be quite empathetic towards men on those issues. They have sexual attraction towards men just like any other woman, and I imagine they are just as fun to be with sexually as any other woman.

Reason 5: Real Feminists Will Make You A Better Man

My final and probably most controversial reason is this: A real feminist will make you into a better man. What do I mean by this? I mean that this woman, because she is often so driven herself, will often push/encourage you, directly or not, to expect more out of life. A good woman in general will act as a mirror to the man she is with, and show you amazing parts of yourself that you never thought could possibly exist. A real feminist will always keep you thinking, preventing your brain from atrophying on endless supplies of porn and video games (not that I'm particularly against these things). These women can often be a source of inspiration in your own life, and can be great partners to have at your side when you need a pick me up or words of encouragement.

So there you have it. Five reasons why I think a dating a feminist would actually be a good thing. Now I may not identify as a feminist myself, since I don't really agree with them on certain core issues when it comes to the problems they face in the western world (nor do i really want to have to run constant interference for the actions of feminazis), I don't really see the need to have a fearful knee-jerk reaction towards dating them. I mean we aren't even talking marriage here, although i do believe the reasons do still carry forward into marriage. I personally don't have a problem with dating a real feminist, and i would encourage other men to challenge themselves a little, utilizing a bit of introspection in order to figure out why you may or may not have an issue with this. Also, I'm fully aware that a certain segment of the male population on here won't get too far through this myTake before preparing some hateful comment for me or others, but that's quite alright. I've been interacting with a lot of these same people for many years now on GaG, and so I've already heard it all. This group has always hated me, and as always, I welcome their hatred.

What Girls Said 24

I am an ex- feminist. Women in third world countries are being subjected to genital mutilation, and sentenced to 30 lashes in public for committing adultery. Those countries need feminism not the USA. Majority of the feminists in America only care about free the nipple campaign and not shaving their armpits and legs. They are also extremely left-wing. If you tell them that muslim women are the most oppressed they will call you an anti-muslim bigot. The most feminists I know major in worthless shit like women and gender studies, sociology or psychology stuff. If you want equal pay and be able to earn as much as a man go major in engineering, computer science or become an electrician, welder or a mechanic. Then bitch and complain about the wage gap. The suburban stay at home moms who haven't worked a single day in her life also represent a good chuck of feminists.

I don't get how you are complaining about feminism but also saying that feminism shouldn't be around when we are actually helping the very people you are using as pawns in your argument. Some issues are less important than others, sure. But until you've been covered in other people's blood and dirt trying to save child brides and human trafficking victims in India you don't get to say whether e need feminism or not, you don't get to look an abused child bride in the eyes and tell her feminism is pointless and that you want to get rid of the movement that is helping her escape hell. The mild annoyance you may feel from feminists lobbying for smaller issues isn't worth ending the movement and telling all the people suffering human rights violations who would have been helped by feminism that "Free the nipple annoys me so you don't get help either too bad suck it up!" So you can keep whining on the internet but I'm going to keep being an activist in real life :)

"out of the mouth of babes" (bible babes, not modern babes) i had to take a look at the age again... even i didn't even see things this way... i guess its because i follow the extremist feminists... dont want to miss a second when their "campaign" crashes and burns. very nice hon.

Ignoring every point I brought up just to patronize me, not very mature but I wouldn't have expected anything more from you. When you get out into the real world see if you still think things are perfectly equal and no one needs any help. Making fun of women and girls who need help desperately and the people who help them shows you lack empathy and I am sorry that you turned out this way.

I don't care really. It's cool either way for me whether women take the lead, what gets me more is that men go out of their way to help women, such as opening doors. Etc. Even though it is politeness, it places the women in a position of needing men's help.

I personally have never met an "intellectually stimulating" feminist," all most of them want to do is talk about how totally oppressed women are.If I were a man, I'd stay far away from any girl proclaiming she is a feminist. I would, however, date an anti-feminist, or just a girl who I thought was nice and pretty.

Thing is, I keep getting told these extremists aren't what feminism is about, you have to dig deeper and find the "real ones". Unfortunately, either I haven't found a "real feminist" or they're all equally bad in their own ways. They all use biased and outdated "facts" to back up their arguments, and they call anything portraying women in a sexual way "sexist." They claim we live in a rape culture, and that video game characters are too sexualized, yet walk around topless to protest the censorship of a woman's breasts.They're backwards and hypocritical, and that's just the surface. Dig a little deeper and you'll find woman who proclaim downright doomsday on men. Now, while I can't say all feminists are total man haters (because they're not), I also can't agree with any of their logic.

There are many woman (like myself) who are empathetic and independent, but don't call ourselves feminists because we can also see right through that joke of a movement.

I like the kind of person you describe - woman or man. I like each point and all the qualities. in my opinion, People do disservice to themselves and others, getting caught up in stereotypes of which the nature is ephemeral and only represent fragment of a person and that fragment can be applied to anyone at anytime.

Damn I am sorry for all the hate you are going to get for this! This sounds like my relationship actually he asked me how I felt about feminism before he dated me because it's something that is important to him being the child of an abused woman who is also active in feminist charity work himself. He was also tired of girls expecting him to pay for everything for them and basically act like their parent. His ex always told him to "man-up" and all this bullshit and asked him to fist fight people for her, and yelled at him if he showed too much emotion. Like why would you treat someone like that just because they are male? Especially if you love them! I see him as an equal partner and a human being who has emotions and doens't want to support a grown woman as if she's a child. I can take cre of myself and I am not looking for a third parent I want a life partner!

Yeah I mean all I wanted was an equal relationship and I think everyone deserves that and I don't get the concept of treating someone of a different gender like they are a different species like men have emotions because humans have emotions get over it people!

I don't understand why the term feminist receives such a negative response. A feminist is just someone who believes that men and women should be treated equally and that women should be free to make their own choices in every aspect of life.

Well, because guy do not want to date a man. If a women being man why want to date her. There are many reason dating feminist is bad. I think sex might be one reason feminist is bad. Women going crazy on work don't consideration pleasing guy. Expectencty is much more demanding like match her income instead getting know the guy. There more risk of bad relationship dating feminist that all

I don't understand why Naziism has such a horrible reputation, it's just a belief in a strong central government, and that the government should control major industries. Sometimes it's not the dictionary definition that shades a movement, but rather the actions of the people of that movement.

If you would like to understand, then listen to Karen Straughan. In essence, feminism's baseline premise is that women are weak and stupid; while men are powerful and intelligent assholes. There's also no reason to be a feminist, when you can be an egalitarian that cares for all forms of equality. Feminism claims to be for "equality", but even in its name its unequal. Only 18% of Americans identify with feminism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqEeCCuFFO8

Most/all of these qualities can be found in someone who chooses not to associate with the feminist movement. If someone feels the need to associate themselves with a higher collective in order to feel strong/independent, they're pathetic. I despise labels. And its funny because some feminist out there would most likely see this rejection of the feminist label (and instead of just choosing to think of myself as a free individual) as just proof of how entrenched patriarchy is!! Even though women have the same rights as men in the western world! :-D I really dislike the movement in general honestly.

Hail the new prophet, speaker of truth, provider of wisdom, and bearer of general decency regarding the much debated F word.

Guys on this site, and all over, can not and will not push their brains to distinguish between the radicals and the every day feminists. They are so stubborn, they refuse to listen to people who say "I'm a feminist, but I don't think men are bad." Instead, they purposefully disregard those statements and spread lies in the form of "All feminists believe this... Feminists do that" after having been presented with obvious counterexamples. In a nutshell it is just being a stupid ass.

Well as you saw from some of the comments already, some of guys are already having the same sort of hyper-emotional response that they criticize women for having all the time, hah. But in any event, I'm happy the take resonated with ya.

I read feminist literature, I follow feminist thought, I educate myself about feminism, I speak with feminists I study feminist history I still am under the impression that it's a hate movement. I do not take the dictionary definition at face value as I follow the underlying structure, and the actions of PROMINENT feminists not the fring, but the main stream, the ones who make policies and affect legal structures. When the actions of accepted and followed feminists are contrary to the movements stated purpose then the statement is pure rhetoric at best and mendacity at its worst.

@Anpu23 Prominent people are not the majority. And since one can not elect a popular feminist, rather in this world, you get famous by being flashy and outlandish, I can say, these women don't define the word or movement for me. Rather, they're tainting it with their notoriety and actions. I cringe at the wave of young feminists, younger than me in my experience (think Tumblr) , that say "patriarchy this, patriarchy that" I think we can all agree, America was founded as a country where men ruled. But I think the word itself has become so trendy and the women who use it, are on a different wavelength than I am, and many other feminists.

So such people as Ema Watson, Gloria Stienham, Margeret Atwood, the chairperson for NOW, etc. etc. don't represent feminism? The ones who influence government policy, the ones who speak in front of the UN, the ones who organize don't represent feminist thought? I think that you must have it backwards, as they are the ones that direct the movements course.

The problem to me is not individual people, but the lobbying and government policies that stem directly from feminist thought such as the concept of primary aggressor in domestic violence. These concepts are not 'radical' but they are routed in hate.

What Guys Said 47

But this can still apply to women who feel the same things and aren't feminists. Feminism is a choice. You don't need to be a feminist to do/be all this.

Feminism to me is just another social political ideology. It's roots are in a well-meaning term, but the movement itself has been abused. So there's a reason why there are women who want nothing to do with it, and men who feel disparaged by it.

yeah i hear your frustration. I take issue with a lot of it myself. As i stated, I don't label myself as a feminist personally but my main point is that i don't really view these kind of feminists as any more or less dangerous to date than women who don't identify with the label. I mean most women today according to some studies done don't even label themselves as feminist, yet you still have massive amounts of divorces occurring in the USA, so there's clearly some overlapping issues there that aren't really affected by the feminist label

Bro... Careful what wish for.Lemme tell you something, a 'feminist' and an #Ubermod on this site argued with me the whole day for asking what's the nicest way to reject someone. She even tagged along another UberMod to support her argument (there really wasn't any), she called all sorts of things. A sexist, an ignorant second language speaking third world dweller (insinuated it) and also called me a pedophile. Can you imagine? Now you gonna tell me that, not all women be like that. True, 100% true. But most of them who call themselves feminists by the American definition are definitely not. They're not egalitarian, they're borderline misandrists. Like most women who call themselves feminists here, I had some hope in it, but the Mod completely tarnished the image of feminism to my mind. If you wanna date a feminist, Canada be a good bet, Europe be the best, In America... Most likely a nail in your coffin.

If they were real feminists, like the ones back in the day fighting for REAL rights, I would date one in a heartbeat, as I support that fight. But today you don't find that kind of feminist, you just gotta take the answers of the so-called real feminists on GAG, to realize how they are NOT real feminists, but the new third wave feminist, aka, the crying babies.

@Rainie_ All I see today's feminists do is fight for ridiculous stuff, like making manspreading illegal, or make up fake statistics.Perhaps the feminazis have actually overshadowed the real ones, don't you think? I mean, if fighting to free the nipple is their main issue right now, there mustn't be many real issues they're facing, many inequality issues.

I consider myself a feminist. And I think the manspreading issue is ridiculous. Look, a lot of people just love to take on a name and twist its ideas to their own benefit, just like ISIS/Talibans do with Islam, which in turn gives Muslims a bad image because of those few extremists.I don't think there is much left to work on in the west for female rights but there are still countries out there that really need it. And honestly those women who think manspreading should be illegal should book a fucking plane ticket to Pakistan and see what women's issues really are.

I mean I guess I can understand the free the nipple thing, considering that some women get shamed for breast feeding in public (yes I've seen it) although it's not as big of a deal as many make it out to be. But other than that, there's only very few issues that need to be dealt with.

@Rainie_ That's just lazy and untrue. The "real feminists" you speak of are simply useful idiots. Feminism isn't just a nice idea it's a credited University degree, meaning "real feminism" is whats taught in those course's. It's the actions of the Feminists who actually matter, the ones who shape laws, social policy and wright the books that become the basis for Feminist theories.

Just in case you didn't know, Feminist theories (womens studies, Gender studies) are not subject to the scientific method, like all other University course are, it's really quite perplexing how so many people buy into it, it really has become the "Religion of the modern age".

It would be nice if most feminists were actually like this. Sadly it is a pipe dream. There is literally only one feminist that I have ever seen that fits that. She goes by based mom, or the factual- feminist on YouTube.

The other thing that happened in this article is you used the no true Scotsman fallacy. By saying that a real feminist is this or a real feminist is that. If they say they are a feminist then they are.

I personally don't have any issue with all feminists, just the ones that inhabit tumbler, twitter, and YouTube. The ones that bend facts and data to support their world view. Or the ones on radfem that believe we need to reduce male population to 10%, and have holidays called national castration day.

But that is the dark side of feminism, if feminists want the majority of the world to respect them they need to do some serious house cleaning and distance them selves from those types.

Nice, I agree! Although to me it seems like a lot of "real feminists" don't call themselves that lately because of how people often perceive a "feminist", as you know. I know a few friends who would fit the description but don't call themselves feminists. Because plenty people who call themselves feminists actually aren't.

Real feminist are feminist and they are none of these things. How can a feminist like men but also blame them for everything? How can one say that all men oppressed all women for all of history treating them like objects and abusign them etc etc etc (all provably false mind you) and still like men? Thats like me saying all blacks are worthless lazy criminals that are a waste of space and air, but I still like them. Those two ideas are contradictory in nature you cannot like men and hate them simultaneously. As for independent, thats questionable, both in them being independent and wanting that to begin with. If you are treating each other as independent you are treating them like you would a friend so (for me personally) how do you have a romantic relationship when you are functioning as a aromantic partnering? As for empathetic I would also question that, so far every feminist I have come across has been the exact opposite of empathetic. Quite literally actively belittling every one who has a complaint or issue while screaming about how their (the feminist, women in general) have way more issues and you should never talk about anything but how hard women have it (again ironic since this is provably false). Unless you have found the only good "feminist"(if they where good they would be fighting for equality not rights for women which is what the name literaly means (female (centric) ideology) and/or I have only come across the bad. Otherwise I would say this is inaccurate as I have experienced it and as data shows it to be. To each their own I suppose.

Actual, real feminism and feminists isn't the problem, it's the interpretation some of them have of the movement. The tumblr feminist who looks for misogyny in everything, and basically hates men - those are aren't real feminists, but they tend to be the loudest and get the most attention.

True feminists are egalitarian and care just as much about men's rights as they do women's. That is the sort of feminist I would happily date. :)

1

1|0

0|0

Anonymous

This has actually changed my view on feminism actually. Literally i used to abuse some feminists on this site. And i realized, that REAL feminists are actually the most amazing people. Im in a relationship with a feminist now and she is shaping me up into a better man!

Im a rich guy and if a girl will happily split meal costs with me regardless of my families wealth, that is an amazing woman.

Also believing in feminism actually makes you a more respectful better person and has helped calmed my ego and sexist approaches right down. When your ego is really high, it does crazy shit to you.

I dont believe feminists are man haters, as most of the feminists i know, i can't imagine them hating men and are friendly to me. Sure there maybe some feminazis out there, who are lesbian and hate men because they get rejected by them, but i dont know any.

It was hard for me to believe in feminism and the equality between men and women because I have had a really traditional upbringing, where the man was the sole earner/provider/breadwinner of the family.

i'm surprised how not funny this is. good take, though. it's like the "nice guy" bullshit. people focus on the word and not what it means. feminism isn't male hating. those are feminazis that have latched on to the feminist tag, but feminism simply is for the equal rights of females and males. egalitarianism is the same thing, tbh.

well, the muslim thing is a little different cause terrorists are actually muslims, not pretending to be, it's just that they take it way too far, but i digress cause i don't wanna start shit :P. I don't know about insecurities about themselves, but people do just look to hate things. i like sports and everyone does that in sports. they want the bad teams to be good and then once they or some player gets notoriety and becomes good, they hate on them all of a sudden

Identifying with feminism says very little about someone's character, it could mean anything. It could mean they are fkn psychos it could mean they are chill. What you're basically saying is that dating someone cool... would be pretty cool.[Slow clap] ( -_-)