For some, though, the holidays have lost the delight and excitement it once had. The pace of life has grown so fast—much faster than those first holidays I remember in my life—that some people don’t enjoy the time they get to spend with family and friends during what are supposed to be days filled with pure joy and peace.

Why is that? Probably a lot can be laid at the feet of how fast-paced our times are, but that isn’t all.

I believe our holiday times should be wonderful and filled with lasting and enjoyable moments and memories. So how can we ensure that we come out of the holidays in January with great memories of the past month? Here are six thoughts that will help you experience the holidays the way they were intended to be experienced:

1. Be temperate.

Holidays can be days of excess for many—too much food, too many sweet treats, schedules that are too busy. One thing that will help you enjoy the holidays is to be temperate. Enjoy the food. Enjoy the treats. Enjoy the busy schedule of activities and parties. But also be disciplined enough to know when to hold back, when to say no. When we go overboard, we regret it and lose the opportunity to fully experience that moment. But when we enjoy a little and refrain from going too far, then we can enjoy all that little piece of time has to offer.

2. Lower your expectations.

Much of the frustration people experience from the holidays is from setting their expectations too high. They expect too much from friends or family, and when they don’t get what they want, they get upset. They expect presents to be perfect, and when they aren’t, they get disappointed. Instead of having huge expectations this holiday season, just take it as it comes. So…

3. …Enjoy what you can and ignore the rest.

Go with an attitude of knowing that things will be what they will be. You can’t control other people or their actions. If a family member pushes the limits of your patience, ignore that and instead focus on how much you can enjoy the time you have with other family members. If things don’t go perfectly—and they won’t—then enjoy what you can and let the rest slide. You will feel a lot better about life if you can take all things a little easier.

4. Stay out of debt.

Debt is a killer. It will steal your enjoyment of life. Be sure to stay within your financial boundaries this holiday season. The last thing you want is to start the new year with a deeper financial burden. Know where you are financially and stay within those limits. You don’t have to impress anyone; just buy gifts that you can afford and express your heartfelt feeling in the giving of the gift.

5. Take time for yourself.

Be sure that no matter how busy you get, you take time for yourself. Take time to read. Take a long bath if that relaxes you. Take a walk. Spend some time of quiet in front of a fire. Don’t rush through the holidays and zap all of your energy. Your mind and body need to be reenergized, so be sure to take time to do so.

6. Focus on your spiritual life.

Ultimately, no matter what tradition you come from, the holidays are historically days in which we focus on the spiritual. Men and women are created with a natural draw toward spiritual life. However, our culture today tends to stay away from a focus on the spiritual, and that has even crept into our holidays. Placing an emphasis on building your spiritual life and growing in that area will help keep you grounded and able to deal with anything that might come your way.