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About the Author

Originally from New York, Rabbi Gavriel Friedman has spent the last decade studying and teaching in various Yeshivot throughout Jerusalem. He is currently teaching at Aish HaTorah Jerusalem, where his lectures highlight the entire gamut of Aish programs, including the Discovery Seminar, Jerusalem Fellowships, Executive Learning Center, and more. An up-and–coming star of the Jewish speaking circuit, Rabbi Friedman has lectured in dozens of cities around the globe, including Johannesburg, London, Montreal, and across the East Coast of the United States. Rabbi Friedman’s charisma captivates audiences of all ages and inspires men and women across the Jewish spectrum. His unique ability to present Torah concepts in an intriguing yet entertaining fashion leaves his audiences thirsting for more. Rabbi Friedman currently resides in the French Hill neighborhood of Jerusalem, with his wife and children.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 22

(21)
Sharona,
March 30, 2015 12:05 AM

so true, I also heard from Jewish sources that if you feel angry at someone but hold back, or talk calmly, our sins are erased, and our prayers become more effective

(20)
Rachael,
May 19, 2013 2:47 AM

I am actually LDS, but this advice transcends religious affiliation. This rings very true principles. It is healing advice. I appreciate being reminded of this simple truth that can set me free.

(19)
Avi,
October 31, 2012 2:44 PM

thanks Rabbi

May G-d bless you with abundantly parnasa for your wise words os Torah.

Anonymous,
May 30, 2013 11:36 PM

AMEN!

(18)
Alan Goldman,
March 18, 2012 5:31 PM

Love this Rabbi.

I am one of those. Jewish to the core but a firm atheist.
My friends frequently ask me why I study torah, subscribe to this cite,give to Jewish Charities and try to live life in accordance with Jewish philosophy. This segment is a wonderful example of why my Jewishness is so important to me. I am not the master of the universe. I can not let my anger to take over when things don't go my way. Jewish teachings, yes, even without God, give me the guidance I need to lead a meaningful life.
Fellow readers please don't lecture me.

(17)
M.A.,
March 6, 2010 8:20 PM

Daveed

You say you talk to G-d all the time, please try asking Him for help and guidance. He loves you unfathomably and He knows what you are going through, and often our troubles are there so that we will call out to Him and ask Him for help. Also, you should know that He never gives us challenges we cannot handle, He knows our limits and our capabilities. We are all suffering with you, and we're all in this together.

(16)
Yisroel Tepper,
January 13, 2010 6:33 PM

Thank g-d aish got you and not hollywood
your biggest fan TEPPS!

(15)
NH,
January 13, 2010 6:28 PM

Also, the fact that you kept running into delays, is and may be a sign of Divine providence. It is said that every second we live is a miracle.

(14)
Daveed,
January 12, 2010 7:38 PM

I know G-d is in control I talk to him all the time, But I am over whelemed with all my situations. but I am trying to move forward the best I can.

I know G-d is in control I talk to him all the time, But I am over whelemed with all my situations. but I am trying to move forward the best I can. I do not know where to start? Many injuries. The story is too long to tell, but I am loosing my home, downsizing every thing, in pain all the time, the more I do the more I hurt, moving to Fla. and I do not have a probblem with that I feel G-d is telling me to this. But making it all happen is not working. I have little to no help. Trying to let go of things important to me is harder than I thought it would be. I guess I care about too many things, and I need to stop carring so much and about the pasted things that I loved! So when I get pushed out the door it will be G-ds itmming righy.

(13)
Avraham Segal,
January 12, 2010 4:08 AM

Sooo simply-straightforward!!

Thanx a million for this unbelivable entertainment!

(12)
dilan,
January 11, 2010 11:16 PM

Anger it's like bullet and it hurts. You need to master it

Rav, thanks for this nice show. It is very helpfull, it reminds me the good time I had when you teach me some Perkei Avot. Chazak:)

(11)
Anonymous,
January 11, 2010 5:01 AM

You set me straight!

Your advice came to me just at the right time. I am currently dealing with what seems to be a frustrating and hopeless situation with the condition of my elderly mother. Although I have done everything I can do, I have to now sit back and say, "This is what Hashem wants me to be going through now." Not easy....but you reminded me that that's all I can do now.I AM NOT IN CONTROL HERE!!

(10)
Shai,
January 11, 2010 4:04 AM

Awesome... Eliav

Eliav... he gets it from the same place you did :-)

(9)
Liz,
January 10, 2010 9:51 PM

Rav Gav

Hi. I would like to know more about the author. The part of this site about him is empty. Please post. thank you

(8)
michael & carol dean,
January 10, 2010 8:31 PM

We had the priviledge of learning from Rabbi Friedman at Aish Essentials in the Old City last Spring. Great video - great message - great presentation. Many thanks.

(7)
andrew,
January 10, 2010 7:30 PM

Great!

Thanks Rav. I apreciate your way to think and show your ideas. Give us more of your wisdom. However I never finish to understant wath happened about holocaust?? May you give some reflections about it?? without that all of us keep in our minds a great unexplain great pain.

(6)
Anonymous,
January 10, 2010 7:13 PM

Context is important

My husband and I are not getting alon and I expect to be divorced in the coming year. He is in control of my finances and often manipulates our children. Unfortunately I try to ignore him for the sake of our children but I can't help but get angry at my inability to respond or control the situation. I pray every day for help and I that it will come soon and end my suffering. Although I understand your intent and interpretation, I cannot believe that Hashem sees my anger and frustration as idol worship. On the contrary I think hashem gives us these feelings as motivation to act and better the world.

(5)
Anonymous,
January 10, 2010 5:40 PM

Good to go

Great advice and challenge. Anger is idolatry of one's ego. Anger management issues are G-d's business.
The trick is to remember/live this.
Much appreciated. Thank you.

(4)
Jerry Itzig,
January 10, 2010 5:38 PM

holocaust

I would love to believe G-d is in charge but if I do, then I have to recognize he was in charge when the holocaust happened! How can I reconcile that evil? How can I reconcile the kind of evil of antisemitism - hatred of a person who does not even know me but hates me because I am Jewish?

(3)
Eliav,
January 10, 2010 4:54 PM

Awesome

Where does this guy get his material? He's great.

(2)
BevR,
January 10, 2010 3:10 PM

Thank you!

Thank you Rav; I needed that! I was about to delete some of my email sites permanently and when I opened "Aish" instead of deleting, my eyes caught the attention "Anger Management." Rav, now I will keep your blog and listen to it on a daily basis for my spiritual reinforcement. Bev

(1)
Rosen,
January 10, 2010 1:05 PM

Good to know!

It's good to know that we must realize that G-d is in control of the universe and whatever He has happen to us is the result of His love during good and bad times. Typically, bad situations can result in something better to come. I also like hearing references in the Jewish bible that refer to idolatry and how and why to avoid it such as being angry or overwhelmed about something or someone. Thus, the more we acknowledge G-d in our lives, the more sane we can be, because G-d forbid at least some of us should snap and take out our anger on others, which would clearly be a form of idolatry. All in all, attitude is where it really boils down to and we have the choice on whether to have an attitude viewing things favorably (or otherwise).

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!