As we count down to a bright new year, I’m already starting to think about our goals for the year ahead. I have been actively goal setting for many years, but up until this year I have not involved the kids. I have my goals printed out in my home office and it was only when my six year old asked about them a couple of months ago, that the thought of setting goals with the kids came to my mind. I was drawn to the idea of having the kids think longer term about what is important to them.

I didn’t want to overwhelm the kids with the idea, so have decided to take them slowly through the process of goal setting:

1. Initial discussion

I spoke with the kids at dinner one day, letting them know that we are all going to do goal setting for 2013. We discussed what goals are, why they are good to have and I shared what my goals for 2012 were and how I have fared for the year.

2. Defining goals

The concept of a goal is quite abstract to young kids, so I wanted to help them by putting some definition around them. The goals they are going to set will fall into four categories:

Me – What would I like to achieve personally? Is there are new skill I would like to learn? Do I want to get better at something?

Family - What can I strive for that will help my family? How can I help my siblings? What skills do I have to offer?

School – What do I like doing at school? What do I want to get better at? Do I need to change my behaviour?

Community - How can I help out in my community? What skills do I have to offer? Do I have time or resources to donate?

I wanted them to not associate goals with academic progress only. In our initial discussions about goal settings, the only examples they really talked about where associated with school. By broadening the goal setting framework to include other areas, I hope to show them that other areas of their life are important too and that the world doesn’t simply revolve around them!

3. Writing them down

I set a date with the kids a week in advance so they could have time to think about what their goals were, before they actually had to sit and write them down. I don’t think the younger two really thought much about their goals over the week, but I think it did help that the goal setting wasn’t just out of the blue. The lead-up discussions meant we could get straight to talking about what they would like to achieve for 2013 and writing down the goals they decided upon.

I very much let the kids work through what their individual goals are to be for 2013. There is no point me setting the goals for them, as they will not take ownership of them. I just gave them guidance on how to narrow the goal down if it were to broad or to vague.

We talked about how all good goals need to include:

the intention – “I will”

the what – the specific outcome they desire

the when – by when / how often will this occur

4. Turning words into action

The next step will to be sit with the children again and have them note how they will work towards their goals. I decided to break the goal setting up into a couple of sessions as it does require deep thinking from the kids. Expecting too much in one sitting could turn them off the whole idea of goal setting!

We will break it down into small steps again. For each goal they will need to think about and document:

What will I need to do to achieve my goal? – e.g. learn my spelling words Mon – Thu, make better choices about who I sit next to in class, find a local community organisation that lets kids volunteer, etc

Do I need help? – e.g. I need dad to teach me to use the lawn mower, someone to teach me the knitting basics, etc

Knowing what and who you need to help you achieve their goals is important so they can start organising for it to happen.

Setting goals with the kids does mean commitment from the parents too. I will now have to find someone to teach my daughter to knit and my husband is going to have to allocate extra time for mowing the lawns next year as he teaches one of the boys to safely use the lawn mower.

5. Planning reviews

We marked dates on the calendar, where we will come back to their goals and review their progress. I wanted the kids to understand that the goals weren’t just words on paper, but they were going to be a prominent part of 2013.

I made sure they understood the review session is not about success or failure but about effort and commitment. Will they be able to honestly say that they worked towards their goal and spent time on them?

I also agreed that I would share my progress towards my own goals with them – this should be a fab way to keep me accountable for my goals in 2013 too!