In May, a shockingly cruel cover of Globeasked, "Who'll Die Next?" Well, now we have an answer: The editors have decided that person is Bill Clinton.

The story inside has quotes from "insiders" and "sources" who report that President Clinton is looking "gaunt and old, almost like he is wasting away," and the mag claims he is "turning his lifestyle upside down trying to keep the Angel Of Death at bay." There's an insinuation that Chelsea Clinton had a miscarriage — "the ex-Prez was thrilled when Chelsea was showing a baby bump in April, But his 32-year-old daughter […] is currently NOT with child." The copy reads that he is "believed to be battling Parkinson's disease" and also alleges that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told her husband than when she quits the Obama administration, she will start a fresh life, living with a female companion.

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Get all that? Dying, unborn kids, lesbianism, Parkinson's. How this rag stays in business without going bankrupt from lawsuits is a mystery.