It’s a cracker! Frank Carson’s top ten one-liners

Northern Irish comedian
Frank Carson claimed the secret to his classic one liners was ‘the way he told ’em’, and he certainly had a few. Here’s a top-ten list of some of his best gags through the years.

– Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call. The caller says ‘Is that Dublin 22 33 22?’ Paddy says ‘no it’s Dublin 223 322’. The caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night, and Paddy says, ‘Oh it’s all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyhow!’

– Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

-Â My wife said to me: ‘If you won the lottery, would you still love me?’ I said: ‘Of course I would. Iâd miss you, but Iâd still love you.’

-Â A fella said to the doctor: ‘Whatâs the good news?’ ‘Youâve got 24 hours to live.’ He says: ‘Whatâs the bad news?’ And the doc says: ‘We should have told you yesterday.’