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Question: Is taking a way "Santa" presents a bad idea?

My oldest son has been fairly badly behaved in school this year. He went from A/B honor roll last year to almost all C's this year, and he's been sent to in-school detention (NOT in-school suspension) 5 times already. All of his behavior is him being the class clown and getting in trouble for it, and he's a pretty good kid at home, for the most part.

He is 13 (almost 14) and doesn't believe in "Santa" anymore, but he has a younger brother and sister who do. I am considering not giving him any gifts from "Santa" this year (he'd still get gifts from everyone else, but just nothing from the North Pole).

I don't know if this is too mean to do, and I want some opinions.

*Edit* Because several people have mentioned his already: Even though he doesn't believe in Santa anymore, and hasn't for years, I've still given him "Santa" gifts in previous years.

*Edit 2* I have tried other ways to correct his behavior. I have grounded him, taken things away, changed his bedtime, given him more chores and more homework....I've done everything I can think of short of getting physical. Nothing changes.

I don't see how that's a punishment at all. He's a teenager. He doesn't believe in Santa anymore. If you're going to spend the same amount of money do you really think he gives a damn if the tag says from Santa?

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I just don't know what else to do. No other punishments seem to work. :(

Quoting kirstina:

I dont think its going to help solve your problems with him.

Is he just bored at school? Does he get done with his work really fast?

I don't see how that's a punishment at all. He's a teenager. He doesn't believe in Santa anymore. If you're going to spend the same amount of money do you really think he gives a damn if the tag says from Santa?

Since you can't always rely on "Santa" or Christmas gifts for punishment, I wouldn't use it. That's a one time thing. Do something else that is more permanent.

I'd do more school work at home (tons of websites for this). If he's going to goof around and not do school at school, he can do school at home. More play at school, less play at home. The more he takes school seriously, the more he can play at home.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19

I always frown on punishing kids around this time of year by taking away any aspect of Christmas, including gifts.

But the situation you've described below is not a reason to necessarily punish, at least not as you're considering.

Something is going on with him at school and the time is NOW to find out what it is.

I seem to recall that with all three of my kids (two are adults now and one is in grade 9), it was around the age of 13 or so that the grades started to drop a little and the behavior started to change.

The key is finding out *why* all of this is happening and working with the child to improve both the behavior and the grades.

Quoting Anonymous:

My oldest son has been fairly badly behaved in school this year. He went from A/B honor roll last year to almost all C's this year, and he's been sent to in-school detention (NOT in-school suspension) 5 times already. All of his behavior is him being the class clown and getting in trouble for it, and he's a pretty good kid at home, for the most part.

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