Peter Costa: On the value of a college degree

Peter Costa

Tuesday

May 31, 2011 at 12:01 AMMay 31, 2011 at 9:13 AM

A recent study shows that the value of a college degree has decreased because only boy king Tutankhamen can now afford to go to college. Nevertheless, in the long run, a college degree brings financial dividends. It also makes you funnier at parties.

A recent study shows that the value of a college degree has decreased because only boy king Tutankhamen can now afford to go to college.

Nevertheless, in the long run, a college degree brings financial dividends. It also makes you funnier at parties.

Data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics show that adults 25 and older with a bachelor’s degree had an unemployment rate of 4.5 percent. Those who had only a high school diploma had a 9.7 percent unemployment rate — almost twice as high.

The problem, however, is that jobs for people who are under 25 are as common as an alignment of the planets.

Many college grads are finding that they have to take first-time jobs that don’t even require a college education. This sorry situation may have improved the conversational content we older people now have with wait staff, hair stylists and pizza deliverers, many of who can quote Shakespeare or deconstruct Spinoza.

Even some graduates with science and engineering degrees are having trouble finding jobs because they have to compete with laid-off older workers who are now willing to take any white-collar job they can get.

Many liberal arts majors don’t even get a chance to follow the Yellow Brick Road to employment Oz. They play violin in the subways or work as temps answering telephones. Many liberal arts people are forced to take on more debt and go to graduate or professional school to try to improve their employability.

There is also a quality of life argument for college and advanced degrees. They help you understand the cosmic indifference of the universe and better equip you to verbalize your depressing life.

You also are able to tell wittier jokes and construct more creative puns. You laugh more while on the therapist’s couch. Actually, therapists don’t have couches any longer; they have leather armchairs.

It is also more difficult to make a joke when the only question the therapist asks is how your medication is working out. The talking cure has gone the way of German psychoanalysis and the Berlin Wall. Today, psychiatrists manage neuroses and psychoses chemically.

“Do you think we should up the Prozac, or are you OK?”

“I don’t know for sure but I smile a lot more these days.”

(I await the barrage of angry emails from psychiatrists who themselves are on low doses of Prozac.)

Where was I? Oh, yes, the cultural/psychological values of higher education. Besides improving the quality of gallows humor, higher education helps you set things in context.

For example, we know that setting up printer drivers is as difficult as achieving cold fusion and that car maintenance is a very expensive occult art.

A truly educated person knows that Napoleon made a huge mistake invading Russia in the winter and that alt+tab instantly toggles to whatever programs you have open.

An educated person also knows that the job market changes and the person with an excellent education can change with it. That’s worth emphasizing when clouds are gray.

Peter Costa is a columnist for GateHouse Media. His latest book of humor is “Outrageous CostaLiving: Still Laughing Through Life,” which is available at amazon.com.

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.