Every act of mindfulness
contains a bit of generosity
already. When we choose to
escort our wandering atten-
tion home, it’s as if we’re
reaching out a hand to a child
who is lost in a crowd and
struggling to get to the safety
of their parents.
We start by lending a hand
to ourselves. After giving the
gift to ourselves of letting our
emotions come and go with-
out being so harsh about it, we
can start to become more gen-
erous w ith others and their
states of mind. A s we become
less caught up in our own
little dramas, we discover that
The mindfulness road can be
rocky. It takes g uts to return
again and again to the pres-
ent moment, especially when
our impulse is to run away,
attack, or hide. And we will
reg ularly fail.
When the novelty has worn
off, when we’re doing the
spadework of meditation and
what we excavate is smelly,
dark, irritating, boring, or
frightening, this is a chance to
work on being steadfast. Can
we trust that the plummet-
ing self-esteem we’re feeling
right now is okay? Can we
patiently let our thoughts and
emotions run their course?
Can we return to the now
when it’s not where we’d like
it to be? Can we return to our
mindfulness when our minds
aren’t calm and we feel like
we’re getting nowhere? The
other people, with their own
struggles and challenges, are
really not so different from
us. We start giving them the
room to be themselves.
HOW? Meditation is most
beneficial when it’s not just
a solo spor t. See if you can
find some other people to
practice meditation with,
people with whom you can
share the experience of being
more open and the challenges
that can go along with that.
Openness can be contagious,
and the tendency to hold back
from being free and generous
with others can be worn away.
reward for sticking to it is the
deeper confidence that devel-
ops—the feeling in our bones
that we can handle whatever
life throws our way.
HOW? Using breath as an
anchor, we can be with what-
ever presents itself. Knowing
that this moment is already
here—and that the only sen-
sible thing is to be with it—we
can ride the waves of difficulty
with dignity and poise, like a
good rider on a spirited horse.
We can still seek the suppor t
we need, make changes we
need to make, or let someone
know they need to stop hurt-
ing us. In doing so, though,
we use the wisdom of mindful-
ness as our guide, drawing
on deep inner resources to
negotiate the journey with
gentleness and skill. ●
Being Generous
Sticking to it
in practice
76 mindful June 2013
insight