Before I was published, I wanted it more than anything. Now that I am published, it's almost like a need that keeps having to be fulfilled. One book published wants to be two, and two wants to be three, etc. I think it's that we all want to keep growing and not be stagnant at any one level.

While I have a dream of "being published," I enjoy the journey more. I do what I love and leave the outcome to a higher power. This means whatever happens is okay in my heart. I will be led by spirit and not fret. That means, I will write no matter what.. unless my heart says "do something else."

Those computer-newspapers are great! I think they're going to be big one day...

Writing is the only facet of my life that has never faded. No matter what's going on, it's always there. Sure, Writer's Block plagues me every now and then (with a black cape and fangs), but I always return to those pages.

Honestly, if I never got published, I would let some friends read the finished work and tell me their opinions of it. If they liked it, if it made an impression on them, I would be happy. But I probably wouldn't stop writing.....

I really like the Dwell quote, as well as the Hope one. Thanks for this. It undergirds as well as encourages...

You know, I have always had to write. It is not a hobby, it is not a choice. Like others who have already said it better than I could, it's something that I must do to make the everyday business of living a possibility for me- a bargain I make with myself to retain a modicum of sanity.

I have at points in my life attempted to stop (not because of frustration about publishing but for other reasons) and it's always the same. First I grow heartsick, then I get (more) physically sick (than usual). If friends hear I'm not writing, it's then they begin to worry.

It's a very odd thing, Roland, I never considered trying to get published before I lost my sight. While I was pretty much completely blind, being led everywhere, trying to master skills like cutting my own food without hurting myself and doing things like setting myself on fire on the stove burners trying to pretend I was still fine to cook, I thought of things I hadn't done, or might want to do if they managed to restore any sight.

I'd written my first 'novel' (now I know considered a 'novella' at a petite 52k words) before I lost the last of my sight and I thought it was the most marketable thing I'd done. I thought it had a shot- so why not try it.

How naive I was. How completely unaware of how publishing works.

I did my research- and in the end, I submitted 3 queries to 2 agents (one requested more material in future.)

The first resulted in a request for the manuscript which after 3 months consideration was finally passed on (my novella) but also the request for more (my second ms was also later rejected but the full was requested but that one I knew needed work-queried way too soon.)

My second agent queried gave me a form rejection within minutes.

I've spent the last year stewing over whether or not to keep trying, and for me, the answer is no- at least not now. Because you see, when I lost my sight and wanted to get published a funny thing happened- I forgot why I write.

When I got my sight back, looked into traditional publishing, read the stories good bad and ugly- I was so paralyzed by it all that a really bad thing happened- and for months I had the worst writer's block ever.

Finally, it's going away, it began to improve the moment I promised myself I never had to write another query letter again if I didn't want to.

They say 'develop a thick skin'. I am just not that sort- I am not cut out for that world. I want to be who I am more than I want to be published, and for awhile, trying to find an agent changed me and I hate that.

So. Sorry this is so long- but I feel so strongly about this post...it really pulls at my heart so much.

I will always write.

I may look for creative ways to get published contests or anthologies maybe, who knows, maybe even one day I'll want to self publish though I know my health isn't good enough to take it on any time in the near future.

But I will always write. Alone, in an ongoing series online with friends, and I will write things that matter to me and will hopefully have the smallest chance of touching someone's heart the way that your post- your writing in general- touches mine.

He's Back!

VOODOO & LOVE IN THE FRENCH QUARTER

LOVE & UNDEATH IN THE FRENCH QUARTER

FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE AUDIO BOOK!

The supernatural predators come out after Katrina. Can two undead legends stop them?

AFTER KATRINA, THERE IS NONE BUT TWO TO STOP THE UNDEAD

ONLY $1.99 WHEN YOU BUY THE KINDLE BOOK!

LISTEN to GHOST OF A CHANCE

Can an author be drawn into his own fictional world and killed by his own characters?

HIBBS HAS FOUND HIS VOICE!

A tale of enchantment

Souls At The Crossroads

Where do you need to be?

THE DEADLIEST ENEMY IS WITHIN

What if Stephen King wrote of the life of a blood courier?

Listen to this haunting tale of horror and love

It is 1853. An undead Texas Ranger is on board a cursed ship in search of a murderer who is wearing the face of her last victim as a mask.

Listen to the LAST FAE

When the world is mad, there is little else to do but show them what true insanity is!

Can a man marry both the moon and the sun?

In the eclipse of myth, he can

What Defense is an innocent soul against the Powers of Darkness?

Let Hibbs, the cub with no clue, show you

Before Indiana Jones or Allan Quartermain

There was Sam McCord and his doomed love for Meilori Shinseen

Alice and Victor in 1834 New Orleans

Do a review and have a 1 in 13 chance to win a Johnny Depp autograph!

Buy_FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE

Hurricane Katrina has cast New Orleans into darkness. Predators, living and undead, close in on the helpless survivors. Can Samuel McCord and a vampire priest keep the French Quarter from being drowned in blood?

Buy_LET THE WIND BLOW THROUGH YOU

Enter the dangerous world of a Native American Noir thriller where forbidden love clashes with the politics of crime

In Memoriam - Maukie my cyber friend

Maukie - the virtual cat 2 3

RITES OF PASSAGE link

The earliest Samuel McCord adventure: Dare to board a fantasy Titanic as it sails into the Bermuda Triangle

VICTOR'S HERE!

BOOK 1: No one talks openly of the misty figures seen walking along New Orleans' iron-laced terraces, casting no shadow. Of the shapes seen rising from sewer grates. And no one willingly visits the crypt of Marie Laveau at midnight. Into this strange world arrives the street orphan, Victor Standish, from Charon's Greyhound. Charon has to keep up with the times ... the End Times. And the teen destined to be called the "Ulysses of the French Quarter" has come just in time for Hurricane Katrina, the End of All Things ... and the deadly love of the Victorian ghoul, Alice Wentworth.

VICTOR AND ALICE ARE BACK!

BOOK 2: Victor's a street kid. Alice is a Victorian ghoul Their love breaks the chain of reason. Their new adventures bring the French Quarter back from the brink of nightmare.

THE RIVAL

BOOK 3: Victor & Alice are in the French Quarter of 1834. Voodoo. Demigods. Revenants. And the hilarious Menage a Trois of Death! Oh, and someone we love dies at the end.

END OF DAYS is here!

St. Marrok's. The most eerie high school in which you will ever die. Its curriculum? The End of Days. Alice Wentworth plans to get an A+.

ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM link

SEQUEL to RITES OF PASSAGE: Come aboard the doomed DEMETER with undead Texas Ranger, Sam McCord, and sail with her into the depths of madness in ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM.

Buy_CREOLE KNIGHTS

SEQUEL to FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE: The dead rise. Elder Beings strain to enter our world through Katrina devastated New Orleans. And the Angel of Death is kidnapped to clear their way. Can Sam McCord stem the tide of madness in time?

Buy_THE LAST FAE

Once there was an age undreamed where legends walked this earth … and nightmares, too. Terrible were the battles, tragic the outcome of the wars. Until finally there were only two survivors : the nightmare and one bruised legend. These are the legend’s stories, each one a different facet of the same priceless gem – a jewel that has come to believe herself worthless. So come. Listen to her. Listen to THE LAST FAE.

GHOST OF A CHANCE

What if what you wrote became real?

BURNT OFFERINGS

When dreams are sacrificed, it is the soul that burns.

CHECK OUT THE FUN!

Explore if you dare

Buy_THE LAST SHAMAN

Journey with the last Lakota shaman, Wolf Howl. The white govenments call him Drew August. Those who hunt him call him Death. The last day of Man has dawned. Watch as Wolf Howl turns to meet his human hunters. Shadow, the love of his life, returns to aid his hunters. Then, Mankind's death descends. Can he save Shadow before the world's time runs out?

BRING ME THE HEAD OF McCORD!

Only 99 cents. C'mon. Take a chance.

GHOST WRITERS IN THE SKY

LEARN TO WRITE BETTER AND LAUGH ALONG THE WAY

LAST EXIT TO BABYLON

At the dawn of the End of All Things, the Last Fae finds there is no hope ... but love.

IT'S HERE TO BUY!!

The trilogy concludes. Not even the eclipse of myth is forever. But love is. And eclipses return. Listen. The voice of Blake, son of Man, is calling across the night skies.

Buy THE PATH BACK TO DAWN

Only in the eclipse of myth can a young man find himself with both the Moon and the Sun as his brides. Can he survive what follows?

Buy_LOVE LIKE DEATH

From the pages of THE LAST FAE springs this paranormal romance/thriller. Fallen, the last fae, discovers the name of the young teenager to whom she lost her heart : Blake Adamson.But she also discovers what happens when you believe your fears over your love : heartache and loss. And so Blake Adamson finds himself torn between two loves : one fae, the other an alien drinker of souls. Their love is deadly, but love, like death, will have its way.

THE BEAR WITH 2 SHAD0WS link

Based on the stories my Lakota mother told me as a child when I was deathly ill in a freezing Detroit basement apartment. Think a Native American LORD OF THE RINGS.

OCTORBER 3RD

Read the shadowy origin of ROSE RED

FROM THE GREAT BEYOND HOP!

You dare not miss it!!

ZOMBIE PREPAREDNESS!

LISTEN TO THE CDC

Thanks, Alex!

THE WORLDS OF ROLAND YEOMANS

Donna Hole astonishes with her insights on my linked worlds

FANTASTIC REVIEW OF THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH

Michael Di Gesu does a masterful review. I am honored by his friendship

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LIFE LESSONS taught me by GYPSY

Dedicated to GYPSY

PAPYRUS PRODUCTIONS

Have Wendy make your book into a trailer that wows the reader!

HELP THE HURTING

100% of the profits for ALL my books this FEBRUARY are going to THE SALVATION ARMY. My Valentine's gift to the hurting.

Buy_BLOOD WILL TELL

One lone telepath finds himself a helpless spectator as the race of Man is subjugated into mindless drones by the very blood within their bodies.When the war is over, and he finds himself totally alone ... How can he go on and why?

CALL ME TOMBS

The last Lakota Heyoka faces voodoo and ultimate evil in the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania with his Hellhound, Puppy

CATCH FIRE!

BLOG TOUR FOR ALEX J, CAVANAUGH'S NEWEST NOVEL

SIV'S BLOGFEST!

The Norse Gods Are Watching You!

BRAINE at TALK SUPE

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NERDY IS THE NEW SEXY!

BECOME A JEDI KNIGHT FOR TEENS

THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL

Help save the endangered species of Earth by buying THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL!

AMAZON KEEPS SELLING OUT!

Written by the author who could very well turn out to be the new William Faulkner, Elliot Grace