Laps From Hell: 22 Downright Bad Creepy Santas

Merry Creepy Mall Santa Christmas!

Ah, the Mall Santa Claus. Is there a more noble profession to spread the joy of Christmas? But I wonder, just how many millions of us are scarred for life from sitting on these creepy Kris Kringle laps? Put yer eye on some real scary, creepy and downright funny Santa Clauses! They will bring a demented brightness to this crazy holiday shopping season!

“Ew… Santa’s breath smells all bourbony like Uncle Roger’s!”

“Weeeeeeee!!! I’m on Percocet!”

“Santa?… Is that an elf in your pocket or are ya just happy to see me?”