This is as close as the Croutons can get to human form. There are hundreds already here. They are all performers for Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas and most major cities. They can be found clubbing on the Strip and at raves... more »

This is as close as the Croutons can get to human form. There are hundreds already here. They are all performers for Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas and most major cities. They can be found clubbing on the Strip and at raves in West Hollywood. If you bought snacks for your kid at the show, little Bobby is already one of them, biding his time until told to strike by his alien masters. That Supersoaker you bought your "son," Gortax, is now a Hydro Eliminator. Next-door Jimmy, a former bully, found that out the hard way. That gooey blob on your lawn with the eyes lolling all over the place? Yep. By the way, your cat, Fluffy, is one of their agents. Is she staring at you like right now? She's reading your mind. Does Gule disappear for hours at a time? Does she regenerate out of sight most of the day? Have you ever found her on your chest staring at you when you wake up? Uh-huh. Your call, dude. Just don't use the house phone. Or your cell. Never mind. Just forget it. And don't watch Nancy Grace or Ron Paul. That's how they receive their instructions. They're invading Earth to get Colonel Sanders' secret recipe for KFC chicken. They must be...What? I don't even like their chicken. « less