Monday, June 20, 2005

This is the first blog I have ever done in my life

And I am doing it wearing only boxers and a shirt. The rest of my clothing is in the laundry. I'm at home, though, as opposed to a laundromat with a computer kiosk. Pretty soon laundromats will have computers, though I'm sure there's already been some nightly news story--the fun-flavored final story of the night--covering a local laundromat with a new computer kiosk. "'Now,' says Suds n' Such Laundromat owner Paul Panzaro 'Customers can do their laundry and check their e-mail.'"

Anyway, I never told myself that I would get a blog. I just didn't think of myself as, you know, a blog guy. I feel like you have to be a certain degree of Internet Happy. I like the Internet, but I wouldn't call myself Internet Happy.

It's a good thing that they don't call these web diaries. A web log is much different from a diary. People would actually reveal interesting/embarrassing things about themselves if it was a Bdiary.

Personally, though, I would be just as apt to write about my love life in a diary as I would in a web log. It's self-incriminating stuff that I would write in a diary. That's why I never owned a diary. Because I would just write stuff like, "Today I took a dump in the parking lot near a softball game." Why would I want to be reminded of that?

I never understood diaries. "Dear Diary, Today I finally got up the courage to ask out Marjorie, but she turned me down. It felt like a bunch of knives ripping into my chest and cutting out my heart, and then me falling from a building 20 stories high." I would love to reminisce about those good days. Good thing I got my diary!

I actually did try to start a diary several times in my life. I'd keep it for maybe a day or two, and then I made the wise decision to read a book before I go to bed as opposed to writing my own, much shittier book. "There's no continuity to this book!" my publisher would say. "It jumps around all over the place. One day he's striking out in baseball, and the next day he has to visit his grandparents and 'It was boring.'"

I suppose the real reason why I created this blog was to encourage my own creativity. I feel like I have some good thoughts, but I don't really use them for anything because I often don't think they'd be good enough to write in a sketch or write stand-up material about (I like sketch and stand-up comedy, by the way). The beauty of the blog is the lack of pressure. Sure, someone might evaluate your blog by commenting on it, but who cares? That's what they're doing with their time. Maybe they should create their own blog.