Britain's new PM In Hush Money Scandal

Britain's brand new PM has been paying a tramp wads of cash to keep zipped about an episode from his past. Gordon Brown at the age of 21 told the tramp that he loved him and let him braid his hair. The tramp who goes by the name of Sorro gave us this statement.

"Damn, if its out in the open now no more cash for me. It is true. Gordon Brown let me braid his hair like a girl for many years. It only stopped when he married and his wife started doing it. It is also true that he said he loved me but that was in a friendly way not a gay way. Erm do you have any spare change"

We handed some cash to the tramp and asked him a series of further questions. Sorro told us the PM liked to have his hair in little plaits. He adamantly denies that Brown blackmailed him, but that he had freely given him the dosh "in exchange for my silence".

In response to the statement that Mr Brown had loved the tramp in a "friendly way", Sorro replied: "Yes. I suppose I was a bit like his mother only I am a man."

We approached our Prime Minister who gave this statement. "Back then I had little money and could not afford the hairdresser. Sorro caught me on a park bench, trying to braid my own hair and offered to do it for me for a few pence. I relented. I apologize for that error. He was a very good braider and I became addicted."

Mr. Brown lost long locks when he was elected an MP in the early 80s. Apparently the then young back bencher dozed off at a party held in the House of Commons and had his hair and eyebrows shaved off by a drunk Margaret Thatcher.

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