Two men meet in a bar, one with a name tag saying "Mr Smith"."Hi, nice to meet you," looks at name tag "Mr Smith""Oh, don't call me Mr Smith.""So what should I call you?""Well, some people call me Thomas, some call me Tom. But you can call me Thursday.""Thursday?""I sure am. I'll have a pint. Thanks for offering."

My headmaster just came through with my recmmendation letter.Thank god he wrote one in Chinese as well.My favourite passage is..."Somebody calls him egghead.We compare him as a cow.We always milk him though he eats grass"

Hmmmm.If I'd known they were milking me and feeding me grass I'd have left a long time ago.

My headmaster just came through with my recmmendation letter.Thank god he wrote one in Chinese as well.My favourite passage is..."Somebody calls him egghead.We compare him as a cow.We always milk him though he eats grass"

Hmmmm.If I'd known they were milking me and feeding me grass I'd have left a long time ago.

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."