I wouldn't be this happy now if you hadn't loved me as I found the courage to get through everything 2018 brought me to alone. You're already woven into the weft of this bliss, before and after the lot. Your fingers entwined in mines before my first hello hit your eyes. It's like You believed in me before I even knew you'd exist.
I rise lighthearted under the heavy bliss of you sprawled on my chest every day no matter where we've slept. I watch you shyly show me more and more of your moods, realizing I'm not giving up or running away because you showed me how to stay by example. The weight of your soul holding space beside me no matter what is this reckoning with every ounce of beauty this realm can be beginning to rain down on me.
The absence in all that came before made room for the actuality of letting myself be in love with you. Hades himself knows I will extinguish its every flame if he challenges my God given right to you. God laughs at Beauty's willingness to wage war for #reallove threatening to bring the entire dharmic wheel to a screeching halt...as it dawns on her that it's all Peace, love the only weaponry needed. Just know they ALL know I will free every fucking body for the time before #eternityreturns to bathe & bask in the love of you. #Sogothefuckbacktosleep .
Lol.
#EternityReturns , a #Lullaby
by #angelbrynner .
(#imagerepost#jmstorm )Смотреть полностью

...Know that I miss you. Know that you're on my heart every moment of this because I'm happy...and I equate you with my happiness no matter where we are in the world. Know that the only reason I don't go crazy looking for you on the horizon is because I feel you beside me every breath of every day already anyway, I'm just waiting for your ship to ride in. Even God himself is for me loving you, something I thought he'd never openly do. Your love is what opened the cage I consciously kept myself in, protectively paces my sliding into the bliss of taking care of myself in preparation for taking care of whatever you that you feel called to give to me.
Now I get that root of them saying #trueLovecastsoutallfear . It's because all kinds of false evidence appearing real roars forth, rises up, counters the Love that has bloomed inconceivably in supposedly inhospitable nooks within us.
Love has to cast it all out because Fear shows up, fighting for dominion that was never truly challenged prior to the singularity of love's actuality.
Telling you, Every love that used to "do" has risen up each step deeper in love I've locked with you. I now have everything I need in me to take full care of you, no matter what is really going on with you.
You already rode in on your white horse, got down off it and gave it to me, asked me to choose other than death for my own sake as the reaper looked on, then smiled at me like the moon the cards say you eternally are. You saw something in me from that far away then ran and saved me from myself when my eyes were going dim. My best lived life started in earnest after that. You have a friend in me that will do anything god allows for you. If you can't sleep, know that I'm up too, trusting you feel me, talking to you.
#ComeHERE ,
by #angelbrynner .Смотреть полностью

...that's good, right?
Coming up for air.
#Esthesis is the nadir before the war. &I must honor it with the flesh I know now that I didn't when I first sat down to it. ...That's something I think a lot of people miss. Nadirss. The war isn't the darkest point. By the time you hit war the darkest debilitating shit has already gone down...it's what finally pushed you to fully fight.
Think about it.
Was the true nadir of WW2 everyone coming together to fight or the heinous shit already done by the threateners that was ignored &therefore pretty much sanctioned...that people gave no fucks about until they realized it could happen to them too? ...That the pogroms had been going down for centuries and no one have a fuck, even on this soil #Rosewood#Manzanar#trailoftears is the true nadir to me. The tendency to wipe out in jealous rage a cluster of humans doing pretty damn right without you after you ostracized them as being beneath you...is the nadir to me.
But that's a whole nother post.
The Robert Frost quote came from music choice landscapes being today's Whitenoise when I came up and out.
Writing.#ontheedgeoftheworld#angelbrynnerСмотреть полностью

Sometimes you don't even know the residue of the poison is still there until you are spiraling up and cross airpaths above which it can no longer be. I hurt, but I love where liking has taken me, porticos of heaven have been refamiliarized due to what you've awakened in me. I go home all the time now, for nothing but joy, and you know where to find and come get me, because God says you're my boy.
It may be ugly, this burning away, but I do it openly, with you wanting to stay.A white peacock in heaven, Black Madonna in hell, getting to play with you is the only gold crown I needed. Thank you. For being unavoidable and quick to care for me, for digging deeper than any I've ever known. For knowing my silence was unconsciously worse than any words I'd ever known. Thank you for making me talk so I could see what it really was that kept you from being received by me.
#alchemy , a poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited#3ameternal#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

Sometimes it's so simple it evades the more synaptic ones among us.
Those who actually Like me roll up and say Hi, tackle hugging me so hard on sight that my feet fly up in the air, they show up and speak to show me they care. And in the presence of that recklessness, my Amazon energy is worthless, bearhugs sincerely given brush my gruff bravado away, those we've seen my heart and love me know they've stayed that way. They broach my boughs like lions at play, knowing they're loved and staying that way. If you fear me your intent brandishes itself nervously, if your words vanish you came set to lie to us both. Violence is anathema to Everything about me when Love lets you play goofily. God as my witness, no one pure of heart is wary of interactivity with the angels with me.
#interactivity , a poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisitedСмотреть полностью

#repurposedpic#maartendegroot
If you only knew how many showed up in silent spite instead of Love, having had settled for so much less before me that my heart had to be a lie ...as opposed to lives lived by them known but never faced as false... You would understand exactly where you found me, squinting at the lines of the #cageoflight I couldn't cross no matter how much stupid hope I still have. But maybe you did understand, and know. You would not be the first for that either, who had listened to the lies of the loved that asked to be worthless then retaliated when I obliged... when he crawled up with shining eyes I'd refused to poke out and whispered the game in your ear. Maybe whether or not you hear his lies louder than my heart separates chaff from wheat. Maybe if you believe me enough to show yet believe him enough to not enter you wouldn't have the wherewithal to honestly Love me anyway. It's not as confusing as it's been before, being attacked for loving openly in supposed no man's lands.
I explained the part of this I found a way to write through, making seemingly unnecessary words find you, sent out for the first time sans defiance to all that's been. But I can't Walk thru this aspect alone... because of the root and roof of all this.
#wherewithal , a poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisitedСмотреть полностью

I ended it with a man once. Only Man I'd ever really known in all this, this Life. I Loved him like I have loved no other thing on Earth, the person he showed himself to be took me places I'd never seen, even Standing still.&when I moved, no matter where I went, or in what capacity, he stilled me so that I never felt alone again, or ashamed. He made every slight and slander from males who knew nobody would ever believe I'd submit to their half lit egos harden in my chest, every wound crust across my heart and spontaneously combust in the sight of all less than him whose door I'd ever been called to darken and be denied. He was the first to make my wings burst out of hiding due to the chance for actual Love and beginning of like vibrating through space and time to me from behind his eyes& just sat there, in the dark, with, unafraid, not high. I Loved what was left of his horns that I was supposed to be scared to see, as real as my wings were to him when he looked at me.
It was his entry, when I was so blinded by a slash that I could not see I was steps from wit's end, a rare spread of paces from a river my body had broken itself plummeting to lifetimes before. Heart wide open, respecting the hurt that had been just enough of too much to have wrung me dry. &he waited, kept watch, honored my mourning, this guy. The first one who could see my pain and look me in the eye.with what I now see was Empathy. The hole in his chest was broad and wide too, ancient, yet still he walked. And waited beside me patiently until I stood, then flew.I really Love this- him.
But he believed the ones God refused to give me to. Unaware that even then he had been pointed to. More than he believed in the power of on sight, just walking in and speaking to me. He showed Up& sided with everything that hated me for not depending on what they saw me to be through ruptured ears, lazy eyes &arrogant addictions only given up enough to give creedence to New lies being lived. I ended it with a Man once, ethereally. &every breath since breaks every ventricle of my heart time &time, again.
#Again . A #poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited#middleofthenightmusings#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

... I tend to have to write my way into letting me feel affection towards a man. I've had too many extreme reactions to what I look like, be it blessed or damned depending on the lens of the observer, to trust the eyes of humans. We're all staring at shadows in caves calling it life. But when you can respond to the unruly yet sincere heart helming my words, see me in the streams of them that spill out of me towards you, process the sanctity in the actuality of putting paper under pen and setting synapses free with your ear in my mind's eye, swaddled by some inexplicable sense of camaraderie... When I feel you taste the truth in my ink no matter how dark it stains any ideals you were absently trying to compose about me... When I sense your eyes from afar, adjusting amicably to my shallow, and my sacred, my dark and light, watching my words trying to shake the impropriety off of wanting you-and I do- the acrobatics gone through to be okay with this shredding of internal ethics even facing the potential to feel like this brings up-
If after all that conjecture and vehicular nonsense, you suddenly want to find me, by face, in crowds, eyes open, your silence a terrifying roar in my ears after all your energy registering as loud comfort everyday, squinting to see whether or not the lines make sense with what you've constructed... So be it.
It dawned on me yesterday. I forgot. you'd never technically known what I looked like. Been all up in here. But to be moved to come close is proof of life you've seen more than many around me day and night have ever been able to surmise. Which was the hope upon which I used to write. I knew your eyes were right by ear.
That was why you held my thoughts, my hopes, my cries. Maybe I stopped... Because I needed to truly see you too. And maybe that's it. All it was meant to be, a movement, needed by us respectively. Asking Logos to line up with so called reality. To witness and discern what we've truly been privy to. Maybe it was all some cadenced formality.
All I know is I don't sleep without feeling you think gently about me.
#untitled . A #poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

#Kundalini leaping, spiraling, lunging into #chakras and dragging itself across pleasure centers embedded in each one... Head thrown back by the #orgasmic force of communicating purely what is truly desired; solar plexus reeling from the nonsense shedding from self due to the swirling of seeing who one #desires to be; heart hot and hazy, finally culpable to and capable of the crazy assed love actually here to get and give; brain bracing itself against the upper walls of crowns as everything below it comes undone due to coming together; three eyes aligned and opened to the #Ecstasy of understanding all gone through to get to here; #Hara utterly unhinged by the incessant ambling of sexual, #creativeenergy churning through it like sacred seas of #supernatural milk; and the #root wilding, word after word received, doused in the depths of the source of all things, ohm'd out like an ultimate prayer, vibrations below the grid and beyond the veil rectifying all that was, is and ever will be needed, going forth-
#LanguidLogos , a #poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

I've been going through this pile of self development intensives for the last six weeks alongside all else that's been afoot.. clarifying, cutting out, christening, #rootwork ... But this One gave me #guidingwordwork .figuring out the #logosgeist to line up my next logistics with my sincere aims and intent... ...AND THE #WRITerHeaDHeart in me has had me damn near out of my mind with all this hardcore macerating words to the Hilt, finding the right ones- Writers are weird as it is with words. We already wear words- connotations and denotations- like denominations, with all the implications of doing so like lingerie lol[shoves Jesse Jackson out the construct to continue lol]. The decadence in a shared and consciously shifted definition is some of the hottest #headsex around, incomparable communion.
But this core work? Damn.
Doing it around other things has lessened the delirium triggered by the mouthfeel to certain adjectives, and the grief embedded in the words that have meant the world to me for decades, grist fluttering away like gilt as the foundations they once were are smashed.
You'd go insane trying to follow my #Einsteining across every white space this ream of work has got, or you'd see light. either/or. The progression of the delineation is delicious, has me aroused like an ordered lick across an expanse of skin, better than sex only because it's informing the ribald kind of sexual transmutation being requested on the wind-
Back to the finalization of this...fureaking #wordList .
#wordbuildinglist , A #poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited .
#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

You make me feel like this image. Unsure if the sun is rising or setting, but knowing I'm alive, on fire and aware, fingers aching against desires to fling feathers from them and slice through the air after you, wings bared, too intent on targets to be overwhelmed by the beautiful baudyness that surrounds me in your wake, drunk off what the thick curve of muscular thighs seen out the periphery of eyes have done clasping around engines like they'd do to my heart if I'd have to courage to come near, trying to cut off my ability to resist like a stealth tiger bite, in search of playful additions to streaks, suffocating me with the spread of space stretching out in the aftermath, chaotic with the smell of you scoping purely for sport, poking me in the eyes you don't get are blind even encased in glass, but get this: I didn't need to see because my eyes felt your hover soon as I screamed out in fear over suddenly not being able to hear. It's that you came halfway to show you could, mirroring my path to damn near the motherfucking mile off the mountain, figured out from on the other side of the world, and purely for demented shits and giggles, that makes me want to affectionately punch you in the face. You tempt with shenanigans that one better be able to stand the respectable repercussions of, my friend, however they manifest.
#HazingStreak , or #yeahisenseyou , a poem by #angelbrynner#sedonarevisited#ontheroadagain#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

#10am#sedona#uptown . #soprettyitssurreal when something is truly pretty there is something surreal about its unexpectedly delicate vibration.
The violence the mogollon rim (between #Sedona and #Flagstaff ) went through to #manifest the breathtaking beauty that is its truth is mocked by how astoundingly pretty it registers to the pure of heart.
That simple, open prettiness bestowed by God is possibly what drew every volcanic eruption, every attack, every betrayal, temporary tantrums from a tempter in light of the true, nothing more than attempts to Mar the crystalline #proofofLife embedded from above for nothing but joy across its surface. Trying to erase that. Imploring the perversion of the prettiness we sometimes see in one another. #Darkskycity , There's no need for glitz, grit or glamour, for flashing lights- because there is the simple earth shaking truth of good brooks and bones. That is why this place has vortexes to rip us raw, why the land has this undulating potential to restore to senses the sights of man-
Somewhere within him recognizes a higher love planted the pretty to be personally rediscovered, to remind him of the sweetness embedded even in himself, to make everything false and contrived he may be clinging to as civilized look garish to his soul, so as to set him free.
That makes the pretty more stunning than any beauty manufactured to hook his eye. The pretty is surreal in its serendipity and sweetness, but never doubt its strength to survive, to get to where it can bare its soul with each breath no matter the weather.
#prettyismorethangorgeous
In this weirdly askew world,
Will have you muttering the word to yourself in shock and awe, meditating with the #gravitasofeternity on your remembrance of it as if it shook you from a bad dream.
To go from beautiful to stunning... to pretty...to a man...is a humbling thing. Because it is the first moment you can be truly felt, internally held and finally seen.
#Sedona a #poem
By #angelbrynner#ontheroadagain#globalboho2018Смотреть полностью

"...We come to each other in such pieces sometimes. If we can take the last leaps at all. And it can be so hard to see the 'New' God is trying to give you with the old doing everything it can to ram itself up under your eyelids. You can have thought you were moving in such peace, such healing, nevermind the new you hold at arms length because you know it feels the weird love. And then the old comes... Again. Into space your unspoken wariness left. It can Because flames rush into vacuums to die. And the stir up can bring such sadness, because this time you don't get to see the moves, the manuevers without the healing you've walked through between them, then and now and call them more than manipulation. That is your pain, your gift, the embodiment of what you used to settle for the #halfLove of, without the lies you once told yourself to justify staying in step with it, even though you knew it used you, just more gently than other energies afoot in life. Without it realizing you see All of it now for what you were too weak to fully deal with it being then.
And it may not even be in a face pressed up against a door you quietly felt moved to lock, daring you to dance with that demon again, beckoning you to a war it's trying to suss out whether or not you know you no longer have to fight. It may not be in your house. It may just be at a fire pit every time you're called to write, staring brokenhearted out of someone with the same eyes as both the first man to betray your heart as a child and the one who strung himself out trying to stalk you to crazy after you gave up on him and ran away, all while being the embodiment of every vice shadows say are waiting for you in the one who finally feels safe and true.
It sucks.
Until you really get that this is going down because you have come up... And the Entire Universe has Faith in you being ready for who...all this #pastlife mess... Was purged out of you so you could receive.
We have to own the healing. And we will face the root of the hurt however God sees fit for our tales. But it's here-the Reckoning, Because we finally are. " "#TheReckoning , #Respectives " by #angelbrynner .
#middleofthenightmusings#globalbohoСмотреть полностью

@graziauk
In 2017, in the UK...are you telling me that on that entire staff not one person stood up upon seeing that cover and said "bad idea" ? ... Weirdly enough...no one shouldve Had to in 2017. How Any editor in 2017 Would Need that direction is as bad as not one of you having the courage to speak up. Forget "do better." Instead I say Thank You...for showing you think "smart & stylish women" can only process #lupitanyongo 's beauty...if she's baldheaded. #classic#stereotypical#motif pushed on the public. And for what? Lol
And blaming the photographer? Oh...Did he think her hair "ruined his shot"? Or did he know the. ..#esthetics of the magazine that hired him or her? Nice throwing him/her under the bus to deflect Your choosing That butchered picture for YOUR cover. Three+ generations into people of color embracing their godgiven beauty against this industry's will... it is Almost pointless to be upset with you socalled #beautyfolk . It's not the skinheadish ones that are the problem... they are seen & heard... it is bastions like #graziamagazine insidiously making those same kind of calls off in the cut that are the snake in the tree.
If you cant make green off of exploiting the insecurities of others, their beauty is nothing but ashes to you. Don't change because it's cashable. Don't even change for your multicultural constituents. Change. ..because you're finally having that disgusting iconographically led heart reflected back to you...because you see this was wrong, not just from outside eyes, but internally on your part. Change because you as a magazine brand don't want to leave 2017 being the posterchild for this kind of visual racial slur against people who did you no wrong.
Sincerely,
AB.
#angelbrynnerСмотреть полностью

From their inception, #aolabtreks and the art that has arisen via them have been described by me as akin to surfing. #ridingthewaves of the#artofLife#angelbrynner style. The romance of surfing, being out there alone in #deepwater whether you are at peace with it or not, figuring it out and finding the beauty in whatever #yourMath reveals itself to be to you. I Love doing this. It helps me be free to write. I break even Alot on the road. But every time I'm blessed with this richness that can only come from the bliss of a blank wall to do whatsoever with, be it a mural, hanging a show- however my visual anima needs to handle itself.
I'm emo because the #water came out really well. Because I see the evolution of my own technique. Because I am quietly getting what I mean when I start muttering #ineedawalltodrawon . I see it manifested here. I still have work to do. But here feels good. #muralhead feels really good tonight. #globalboho
I'm grateful that they invited me to do this. I was approaching them for the #globalbohoguide and they said "you do murals too, right?" Asked to see some images and gave me a wall.
And my joy here has been full.
#godisgood .
#ineededthis .
#artheadzenСмотреть полностью

For the last hour My face has been wet from crying in shock at the news that I can do this now. Internally, I'd taken it-this dream- to a place of one day doing an installation and custom building out the pieces as the art they are to me... Just to get it out of my blood, you know?
Because that's the surreality in this that gets forgotten. Those aren't just random collages to me, the result of some #artheadfugue . That 1000+collection of collages are my moodboards and storyboards for #grievechronic . So the idea of someone sitting in my world manifesting like this was tongue in cheek #brainsallovatheplace for me. #wholenotherlevel#globalboho#angelbrynnerСмотреть полностью