Friday, April 27, 2012

No Xi’an For Me

I started out with the
best intentions. I bought my ticket to Xi’an as soon as I received my wedding
invitation from Ken, my friend who lives there. He is finally getting married,
much to his parents’ delight… or is it dismay? You’ll have to see the ‘When the
Universe Speaks’ entry, posted March of last year to find out why I say that.

In any case, I did start
out with the best of intentions. I bought a train ticket. I let Sam know I was
going out of town. After teaching my two classes this morning I rushed home to
pack, make sandwiches and get out the door on time. I didn’t get my dishes done
but that’s OK. They’re rinsed and stacked neatly by the sink. I can do them
when I get back. And I didn’t get to make my bed either. And my floor is a mess
from the workmen who came and sanded down moldy spots on the walls. (Yes, mold
already!)

I don’t know about you
but I hate leaving the house in such disarray. But I did have good intentions. I
was going to go to that wedding.

I left the house a full
two and a half hours before my train was to take off. Under normal
circumstances that would have given me plenty of time to get to the train station.
Even under abnormal circumstances that would have given me plenty of time. The
circumstances were in fact just a bit abnormal: this is Labor Day weekend in
China. Not a major holiday but a holiday nonetheless. Those who have time off
are traveling. So, scoring a ticket was a major coup, as I said last post.

So here I am, with my
good intentions and my train ticket. Zhanny was traveling home too, so we were
going to ride to the train station together. She got to the bus stop same time I
did. So far no problems, other than the bus being crowded to standing room only
capacity. We arrived at Wuchang train station in plenty of time for Zhanny to
make her connection. I had a bit further to go: to Wuhan station, in the north
part of the city. That requires another bus connection and another hour’s ride.

Still no problem. Went to
the back of Wuchang train station just as bus 540 was pulling up. I was the
second person on the bus, guaranteeing me a seat. Except for that little migraine
brewing, travel is getting good, folks! I popped some Tylenol, and then settled
in and put away my misgivings about this trip.

What? Misgivings?

Yes. You see, I really
didn’t want to go to Xi’an. Actually, that’s not true: I’m always up for a trip
to Xi’an. I didn’t want to go to the wedding. Ken and I had a bit of a falling
out last time I was in Xi’an and since then we’ve drifted apart. It has been
over a year since we’ve communicated. He has not responded to any text or QQ
messages I’ve sent him. Busy? Snubbing? Who knows? I gave up trying.

Only over the last 2
weeks, since he was sending out wedding invitations has he gotten back in touch
with me. You can see why I’d be reluctant to go to the wedding of someone who
treated me badly last time I went to visit, disregarded my attempts to
establish contact for over a year and now invites me to his wedding.

All of this is running
through my mind as I enjoy my bus ride, sitting down on a packed bus. But I’m
figuring The Fates are good: Zhanny and I meet at the bus station at exactly
the same time. I make my bus connection with no problems, even getting a seat
on the bus. Maybe I should shake off those misgivings and start looking forward
to the trip. OK: let’s find a positive mindset.

I did not make my train.

Four things happened to
detract me from my very best intentions. First was traffic. I anticipated that,
and had budgeted time for it. Then there was an accident, snarling things up
even more. That is OK. I budgeted for that, too. Then the bus broke down.
Uh-oh, now we’ve got trouble.

Still, that would have
been OK. After all, I had built plenty of time into my schedule for such unforeseen
events. I probably still could have made my train after the replacement bus got
there, if only the driver didn’t drive as though it were Christmas. Or Sunday. Or
Christmas Sunday. This was without a doubt the slowest driver I’ve ever had the
pleasure or frustration to ride with. He drove so slow that two other Bus 540
blew past him. The rest of the traffic did too.

Nervously I kept my eye
on the clock. We are now edging to 15 minutes prior to my departure time and we
are still nowhere near the train station. Things could go either way. Maybe the
train will be late. Usually they aren’t that late though: up to 30 minutes is
as late as I’ve ever seen them leave.

When I overheard a fellow
passenger on his phone confirm the train was leaving on time I gave up. No
point in traveling all the way to the train station just to get turned away. At
least I could get a refund on my ticket. No, wait! Can’t do that either. I
bought the ticket presenting my stateside driver’s license as ID. I only had my
passport with me now. No refund possible.

Going back to that When
the Universe Speaks philosophy for a moment.

This trip has been
fraught with misgivings. First, I didn’t really see why Ken would invite me to
his wedding after being incommunicado for over a year. Second, to be perfectly
selfish: what’s in it for me? Even if Ken did want a reconciliation, how would
that work? He’s busy with his wedding. He doesn’t have time to make things
right with me. And, I’d most likely be the only foreigner. That would kind of
leave me struggling for conversation and company, seeing as the only person I
know that speaks decent English in Xi’an is the groom, and I believe he will be
otherwise engaged. Third: I had left my house in disarray, petty as that sounds,
but add to that all the things I had to postpone in order to go to this
wedding. Like planning my classes for next week, not doing laundry, not
chatting with my loved ones and not writing my blog.

And then too: I’ve not
been feeling so well these past few weeks. For some reason, my stomach has not
been cooperating, leaving me feeling listless and blah. Not exactly optimal
travel condition.

And then there’s money. I
am planning a major trip stateside in about 2 months. My last name not being
Rockefeller, I kind of have to watch my pennies carefully to fund that trip. Finally:
Gary and I had planned to tour Xi’an together later this summer. We thought
about moving our travel plans up and tie our trip in with the wedding but, at
the last minute Gary got caught called away on business.

It seems to me that The
Universe is saying, loud and clear: ‘Don’t go to Xi’an right now!’

Who am I to not heed such
a directive?

I got off the super slow
bus and got on the one that would take me back home. I sent Ken a text message,
apologizing for not being able to make it to his wedding. He suggested I try to
get another ticket but without being able to refund this ticket, why would I
spend more money to get to a wedding I really don’t want to go to anyway?

No, I think I’ll stay in
Wuhan this holiday weekend, nurse my recalcitrant stomach back to health and do
things that are far more important to me: connect with my family, write blog
entries, clean my house and prepare for my classes next week. I’ll go to Xi’an
later this summer with Gary as planned. If permitted, I’ll make it up to Ken
for having missed his wedding. All things settled, the stress disappeared. Maybe
I didn’t need that Tylenol. Maybe I just needed a new plan.

Now… about that ‘listless
and blah’ a few paragraphs back. Doesn’t that sound like a great name for a
doctor’s office?