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Of all places this should be the spot where total acceptance is nonnegotiable. Glad you were able to find some comfort to be able to speak out about this. Sounds like you've received some good support. That's always good (and expected...here).

I think that in order to get the best advice and support, which is what many of us often seek here, we need to know the individual a little better. You've more than done that; I believe we know you lot better! I can't imagine how difficult this coming out must be, but you're certainly done it well. Keeping secrets about ones life is always hard and takes a toll in added stress, anxiety, etc.

It does bother me that Ann and Matty even needed to post what they did. I think Cliff said it well:

Quote

Of all places this should be the spot where total acceptance is nonnegotiable.

It does bother me that Ann and Matty even needed to post what they did. David

Sorry that it bothers you and another member David, but it was imperative to protect the kid. It bothers me that you would bother to mention it, since not a bit of this is about you. You have no idea what Jaser has gone through or been subjected to via PM by upstanding (in name only) members of this very forum. It may have played a big role in Jaser being fearful of "coming out" to forum members earlier than he did. I'm sure, no I know, Jaser sincerely appreciates Matty and Ann's concern that he could come out in a safe place and in a safe way. I hope you can understand that.

What Doxie says is true; the lad has been harassed on occasion via PM and I wanted to let it be known in a very public way that this will not be tolerated. Action will be taken against any forum member who decides to use PMs to give him a hard time - or feel they have the right to ask intrusive questions.

It's not to say that people can't PM Mouse, but people who send inappropriate PMs will be dealt with.

And by the way, that always goes for any member of the forum, not just Mouse. If someone is harassing you in any way via PM, please let us know.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sorry that it bothers you and another member David, but it was imperative to protect the kid. It bothers me that you would bother to mention it, since not a bit of this is about you. You have no idea what Jaser has gone through or been subjected to via PM by upstanding (in name only) members of this very forum. It may have played a big role in Jaser being fearful of "coming out" to forum members earlier than he did. I'm sure, no I know, Jaser sincerely appreciates Matty and Ann's concern that he could come out in a safe place and in a safe way. I hope you can understand that.

The key word, and I initially highlighted it, is NEED, not that they DID post what they did. It bothers me that we NEED anti discrimination laws, not that we have them. I appreciate that they're willing to do what it takes to prevent such hateful PM's. Like what I quoted from Cliff "Of all places this should be the spot where total acceptance is nonnegotiable."

You are not a mouse anymore, but a mammouth!!! a really great, enormous, big person!!!

We all in many ways have to rebuild ourselves to reach who we actually are. For most of us the work is emotional, mental, psicological... is an issue of experiencing and learning, to open to oneself.

For some other people, as in your situation, this goes much beyond, and the work consists also in rebuilding all, even the body, and that has to be one of the most amazing and hard experiences a human being can pass through.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Everything has already been said really but I just wanted to say you are extremely impressive Jaser and I'm pleased that you felt comfortable enough to come on and tell us all this. You'd won't find a more accepting and supportive bunch of people that's for sure.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge

Jaser-Thanx for sharing this personal side of u. I bet it took a lot of courage, more than I wud wud have if I was in the same position. In my sociology class, we barely glaced over the chapter in our book regarding transgendered individuals. We did have a guest speaker though, who told us that it does take a lot of courage to go thru that. Ever since I started reading ur posts, I never knew how young u were. U seem more mature than ur yrs. and writing this is even more inspiring. Keep up the excellent work and I hope to see u in person, someday @ am AMG.

Wow, thanks you guys. I don't really know what to say. This is pretty much the first experience I've had telling people and not had really one negative thing from anybody. I feel so much more comfortable knowing that I can discuss every aspect of my life and health with you guys and not have to hide anything, anymore. It's so relieving. I'm glad everyone here is intelligent and open-minded enough to be able to understand and accept all of this (especially so suddenly, lol).

I was frightened because I have so much experience in telling people who should, for many reasons, but much more accepting than most people - especially when telling non-transgendered gay friends, who you would expect would be totally accepting of a trans person given the harrassment we all go through, but sometimes they're the ones that are the worst and most offensive and unaccepting. I don't understand how someone who undergoes so much discrimination can discriminate equally against another group, but it's so common.

I was hoping that, because this is a group of HIV+ people, who face a lot of difficulties regarding not being accepted, being feared and intolerance, that you would all be cool with this - but because of past experiences I was nervous. It really gives me a lot more faith in knowing that there ARE people out there, entire GROUPS of people, that are willing to try to understand and accept any sort of person.

It's difficult for me sometimes, because there are so many instances in which people openly say horrible things about trans people, and being that I'm almost completely stealth in my everyday life, I can't speak out and defend myself and my friends without outing myself. I've experienced similar things having to listen to friends of mine spout nonsense about HIV and feeling like I couldn't go in and correct them because they would find out.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope that you guy can gain something out of this also, because it means a lot to me that trans people are accepted as the gender they truly are, and aren't discriminated against in a way that I'm sure you're all familiar with through your own experiences. I hope that by being open as trans on this forum can not only serve me, but perhaps help any other trans person you might encounter in your life, as maybe now you'll have the experience to know more about what we go through and how it's appropriate to treat us (which is, most people would be surprised to know, just like any other man or woman).

There was a member named Gina ..she was here a couple years before you... she went through hell and back!!! spent her whole life (teenage years) as a boy.. Gina was NOT a boy!!! God I miss and worry about her!!!!

I'm so very proud of you sweetheart...you are and always will be a very special, loved and respected member of our family..and if anyone dares to hurt you in any way either via PM's or in the public forum I will, along with Ann, Matty and Aunty Doxie, rip them a new one.

Judging from the replies you will have all the support you need here from the ones who know and love you.

I've always thought of you as a very intelligent ( and adorable ) young man, and will continue to do so. I'm glad you're comfortable to share this with us. You've got what it takes to succeed in anything you choose to do, and if being a schoolteacher is what you go for, I know you'll be the best one there is. I wish you all the best.

I have been lucky enough to count among my friends two people who were born in the wrong body. The first was a M-F and the second was a F-M. I have never truly understood what it is like to be living in the wrong body and I doubt I will ever truly understand what it must be like. However, I never need to fully understand it, I just accept that person as they truly are, not what nature hung on the outside. It did not take long, but I soon became accustomed to using the proper pronouns regardless of the outfit my friends would wear.

The thing that always surprises me is the way other people treated my friends. The stares and looks were so rude... granted this was when I was living in a small conservative town... but still. I will always be a supporter of the rights of all of natures diverse people.

I'm glad to know that opening up here has helped unburden you from keeping this secret, for lack of a better word. You said:

... maybe now you'll have the experience to know more about what we go through and how it's appropriate to treat us (which is, most people would be surprised to know, just like any other man or woman).

I often think the same when it comes to being Gay. That people expect me to live as they imagine Gay people live, or at least ones they may have known or heard about. My mother still refers to it as my “lifestyle.” It's ridiculous. Everybody’s different, and we are all human beings first! Anyone who cannot wrap their minds around differences or variations in gender (or sexuality) has still got some work to do.

I can remember the day you first posted, and I and others asked you to use full text instead of using abbreviations because of the international nature of this website. You responded with the class and talent you have for writing with some of the most enlightened posts of many of us here, and have since that time been one of the best writers here on the forums.

I also remember having my fingers slapped when you queried about how some of us deal with sex, while having HIV, to which I responded with a list of safe and fun alternative possibilities that one can do in their sexual activities while living HIV+. Your response was total surprise at some of the things I suggested, and that was closely followed by a rebuke from the moderators because you were 14 at the time. Hell, I didn’t even register that you were so young at that time, but I still held on and tried to keep communication with you. Unfortunately I (my fingers, heart, and mouth) are so open and unguarded that I stopped communicating so that I wouldn’t make a mistake and possibly get timed out or offend you in any way.

This medium is so very frustrating as I wanted to jump through the phone wire and come and give you a big hug and words of encouragement. Fortunately you found Matty, and formed a wonderful relationship with him and have for the past two years or so, been on the top of his list of people he really cares about.

Jaser, over the last two years you have shown a maturity, and yet still a childishness that is so very pure and honest that you couldn’t help but place this open and informative thread here for us to share. I trust you will gain from this the power and love that all of the respondents of this thread have shown. Truly, when you take away all the bullshit, in the way you have shown us here, it makes each one of us reflect on our own lives and the many difficulties that some of us have dealt with throughout our lives, and reminds us that it is ONLY our inner selves which are important. I guess that the internet is one of the best ways to discuss this issue because it takes away all the obvious and physical interference that occurs when speaking face to face.

I trust that you will continue to grow and prosper, and that you will be able to find peace in the way that you are creating your life at this point. However, as you well know, you are going to have many more hurdles in your future, and I hope and pray that you will trust us enough to seek out support and solace from this very loving and open group of people. AND if you have any more questions about algebra, please feel free to post them here and I will see what I can do to help out. I loved algebra, once I figured out it had nothing to do with math and everything to do with logic.

Jaser, you are one of my heroes here on the forums and now I understand why, and why you seemingly have the strength of Charlie Atlas and I am so very proud to call you a friend. Keep on being strong, sensitive, intelligent, and the genuine man that you are and you will go far and be a total success in life.

Today you have truly touched my heart and now I know for sure that you are all the man I ever thought you were.

Love, Your friend Tim.

Logged

The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,and 362 to heterosexuals.This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals, It's just that they need more supervision.Lynn Lavne

I'm a little late to the party, but just wanted to say I've always thought you were pretty cool (and remain so). Being open and honest will get you much further in life then fear. I'm happy you've taken the right steps in building a fulfilling life!

Jaser, sorry I am late posting to this important topic. I have always thought that you were an extrordinary young man and this just reinforces that for me. Hope everything works out for the best. Cristy

One more thing from the teacher....look at GLSEN website. I get a lot of supplies from them and information. I even got stickers for my door that said "Safe Space" with a rainbow upside down triangle on it so kids knew they could come talk to me if they needed to Your going to alright I can feel that from all the good hearted replies!

One more thing from the teacher....look at GLSEN website. I get a lot of supplies from them and information. I even got stickers for my door that said "Safe Space" with a rainbow upside down triangle on it so kids knew they could come talk to me if they needed to Your going to alright I can feel that from all the good hearted replies!

Matt

Hi Matt,

I had a look at the website you suggested to Jaser (of course I did! ) and it looks fantastic, so I'm providing a link. I know we've got a few teachers around the place here so I'm hoping they'll see it and they and their students might also benefit from the services they offer.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hello Mouse, I just wanted to share a few thoughts to allow us to move past the differences we have had in the past. I believe we started off on the wrong foot when I made a posting (I believe my first) of my thoughts on a topic and those thoughts were misunderstood not only by you, but by your friends here as well. Since that time, I have not felt comfortable in posting any comments or feelings here for fear of, as you put it, "pissing someone off".I need you and others who supported you then, to know that there were no feelings of animosity or hatred, but rather of me expressing my true thoughts which were based on my life experiences as they pertained to the subject we were discussing. It is true now, as it was then, that I felt no bad feelings for you or others.....ever regardless of thoughts and beliefs.It is my hope at this time, that we let the past stay in the past and to start to communicate with each other with respect and gratitude. For you to make your feelings known about who you are in such an eloquent way is commendable and you are to be looked up to always for being who you are and standing firm with your head held high.In my native tribe, (Sioux Indian) when others like you were placed on this earth, they were done so for others to see and gain knowledge for not only what they spoke, but for their mere existence in this life. They were revered and were looked up to as spiritual leaders who held the key to secrets and mysteries that we were forced to deal with daily.In reading how others view you and admire you, that same deep feeling of respect and admiration is present around you now. Use it for not only you own peace and survival, but share that knowledge inside you with others to help them along this path we call life.The fact that you are planning on teaching is not your choice, but one that has been placed inside your being for a reason. Take that gift and use it and use it well.I will join other forum members in congratulating and thanking you for allowing us, in small often unspoken ways, to realize that we are valuable and that we are strong...strong enough not to let anything get in the way of being who and what we are meant to be.Stay strong and always know that you are special....not by what you say or do, but by being who you are.