Archive for July 2008

In the office, however, some habits can go beyond annoying your co-workers; they can damage your career. For the sake of your career and your co-workers’ sanity, here’s a list of bad work habits that can harm your career and how you can break them. If you’re guilty of one (or more), it’s time to get them under control.

1. Bad Habit: Missing deadlines.
What you think: “If it’s only a little late, it doesn’t mean anything.”
What it really says: Your colleagues and boss can’t count on you.
What to do: Don’t view deadlines as negotiable. Remind yourself that people are counting on you to do your job well, which includes completing tasks on time. Even if you just barely missed the deadline and everything turned out OK, you probably caused your teammates a lot of anxiety and extra work, which they won’t forget.2. Bad Habit: Dressing unprofessionally.
What you think: “I’m the office free spirit with a quirky sense of style!”
What it really says: You don’t take the job seriously.
What to do: You don’t have to be a boring dresser to be professional, but you shouldn’t look like you’re about to go clubbing or strutting down a runway. Take a cue from your co-workers to see what’s considered acceptable in the office. 3. Bad Habit: Not being punctual.
What you think: “As long as I get all my work in, nobody cares.”
What it really says: You think your time is more important than everybody else’s.
What to do: Stick to the schedule. Everyone in your office would like to sleep in a little or leave early, but they don’t because people rely on them to be on time. 4. Bad Habit: Checking your e-mail, playing games, shopping.
What you think: “I’m discreet.”
What it really says: You’re not doing your job.
What to do: Keep the fun stuff to a minimum. Most employers don’t mind if you check your e-mail every once in awhile or read your favorite blog for a few minutes in the morning. They begin to care when you minimize that game of Scrabulous every time they walk by your desk. You’re being paid to work, not play.5. Bad Habit: Gossiping.
What you think: “I’m just saying what I heard.”
What it really says: You can’t be trusted.
What to do: Sure, everybody gossips a little here and there, but it shouldn’t be your livelihood. Eventually you’ll gain a reputation for not keeping anything confidential –whether it’s a personal matter or work-related. Plus, your chattering could end up hurting somebody’s feelings or reputation.6. Bad Habit: Being negative.
What you think: “Everybody complains.”
What it really says: You’re the person to avoid.
What to do: It’s natural to grumble about work once in awhile. If you gripe and moan when you’re asked to do anything, however, people will not only get annoyed, they’ll wonder why you don’t just quit. Keep in mind that work isn’t always fun; keep the complaints to a minimum.
7. Bad Habit: Trying to be everybody’s best friend.
What you think: “I’m just sociable.”
What it really says: You don’t know how to set boundaries.
What to do: It’s not uncommon for friendships to develop at work, but don’t expect it to happen with everybody. Unless you have reason to do otherwise, treat your superiors, colleagues and subordinates like professionals, not like drinking buddies.8. Bad Habit: Burning bridges.
What you think: “I’ll never see them again.”
What it really says: You’re not a professional who thinks about the future.
What to do: As much as you dream of telling off your boss or co-workers after you’ve handed in your resignation, restrain yourself. People change jobs, companies merge – someone you dissed in the past may end up being your boss down the road. 9. Bad Habit: Always being the funny one.
What you think: “People love me.”
What it really says: You’re really annoying.
What to do: There’s nothing wrong with being funny – most people do like a good sense of humor. Just remember that not everybody wants to hear your sarcastic quips and “Godfather” impersonations every five minutes. 10. Bad Habit: Forgetting you have neighbors.
What you think: “I’m not as annoying as they are.”
What it really says: You’re inconsiderate.
What to do: Do unto your co-workers as you’d want them to do unto you. Your hour-long conference call on speakerphone is just as irksome to your cube mates as theirs are to you.

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human lifewhen one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. Whatwould the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates – there is so much to be curious about. I call thisexcitement,the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make themjump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party -several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the sparkfades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs thesecond half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard againststorms.To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possiblefor you. It isn’t any external measure – a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where moneyconstraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would notshow up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do itbecause it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make aneffort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot becomeTendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born.. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most ofnature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful.Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyableif your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes – Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those racesin nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same withlife, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success,but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. One last thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. Onestudent asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said – don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be takenseriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years.And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. Weare people, not programmed devices.I’ve told you three things – reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are fourstorms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness andloneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure isextremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. Youwill feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over lowgrades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease tobe a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.Disappointment’s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especiallyrelevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the rightgoal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me fiveyears to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. Howdid I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking acertain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third bookto write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life – friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing isto be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness – this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces,pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities inIndia, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, butthe long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have anopportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful forwhat we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, Idon’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t letunfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kidswant Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique.What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goalsmay not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they havetheir second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever makethat compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment,frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as likethe monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. ButI also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today.. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only throughcollege, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it nowmore than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying – I come from the land of a billion sparks.

1. Your presence is a present to the world.
2. You’re unique and one of a kind.
3. Your life can be what you want it to be.
4. Take the days just one at a time.
5. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
6. You’ll make it through whatever comes along.
7. Within you are so many answers.
8. Understand, have courage, be strong.
9. Don’t put limits on yourself.
10. So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
11. Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
12. Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
13. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
14. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
15. Don’t take things too seriously.
16. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
17. Remember that a little love goes a long way.
18. Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
19. Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
20. Life’s treasures are people . . . together.
21. Realize that it’s never too late.
22. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
23. Have health and hope and happiness.
24. Take the time to wish upon a star.

HER DIARY Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made
plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was
shopping with my friends
all day long, soI
thought he was upset at the fact that I
was
a bit
late,
but he made no
comment.Conversation wasn’t flowing so
I suggested that
we go somewhere
quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and
absent.I asked
him what was wrong – he
said,
“Nothing.”I asked him ifit was my fault
that he was upset. He said it
had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I
loved
him, he simplysmiled and keptdriving. I can’t explain his

behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say,
“I love u,too.”When we got home I felt as if I had losthim, as if hewanted nothing to do with me anymore.He just satthere and watched TV.;he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go tobed. About 10minutes later he came to bed. I decidedthat I could nottake it anymore,so I decided to confront him with thesituation but hehad fallen asleep.Istarted crying and cried until I toofell asleep. I don’t know what to
do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts
are with someoneelse. My life is adisaster.

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to
grab a snack and get on-line . She logged on under
her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy
List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant
message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was
following me home today. It was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be
following you?
Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination
cuz’ I didn’t see anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven’t
done that have you?

ByAngel213:
Of course not. I’m not stupid you know.

GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!

GoTo123:
That’s great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so
gross! They look like bees. LOL

GoTo123:
What is your team called?

ByAngel213:
We are the Canton
Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are
really cool.

GoTo123:
Did you pitch?

ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has
to be done before my parents get home. I don’t want
them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile… …GoTo123 went to the member menu and
began to search for her profile. When it came up, he
highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen
and began to write down what he knew about Angel so
far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina

Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the
mall. Besides this information, he knew she lived in
Canton because she had just told him. He knew she
stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon
until her parents came home from work. He knew she
played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school
team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her
favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew
she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior
High School. She had told him all this in the
conversations they had on- line. He had enough
information to find her now.

Shannon didn’t tell her parents about the incident
on the way home from the ballpark that day. She
didn’t want them to make a scene and stop her from
walking home from the softball games. Parents were
always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made
her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had
brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn’t be so
overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the
footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt
someone staring at her. It was then that the
memory came back. She glanced up from her second
base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base
and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn’t look
scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she
had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she
talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once
again as she walked past him. He nodded and she
smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her
shirt. He knew he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It
was only a few blocks to Shannon’s home, and once he
saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park
to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat
until the time came to go to Shannon’s house. He
drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until
time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she
heard voices in the living room.
‘Shannon, come here,’ her father called. He sounded
upset and she couldn’t imagine why. She went into
the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on
the sofa.

‘Sit down,’ her father began, ‘this man has just
told us a most interesting story about you.’
Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents
anything? She had never seen him before today!

‘Do you know who I am, Shannon?’ the man asked.

‘No,’ Shannon answered.

‘I am a police officer and your online friend,
GoTo123.’

Shannon was stunned. ‘That’s impossible! GoTo is a
kid my age! He’s 14. And he lives in Michigan!’

The man smiled. ‘I know I told you all that, but it
wasn’t true. You see, Shannon, there are people
on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them.
But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them,
I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect
kids from predators. I came here to find you to
teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people
on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make
it easy for me to
find you. You named the school you went to, the name
of your ball team and the position you played. The
number and name on your jersey just made finding you
a breeze.’

Shannon was stunned. ‘You mean you don’t live in
Michigan?’

He laughed. ‘No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel
safe to think I was so far away, didn’t
it?’

She nodded.

‘I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only
she wasn’t as lucky. The guy found her and murdered
her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to
tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all
the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into
giving out information a little here and there
on-line. Before you know it, you have told them
enough for them to find you without even realizing
you have done it. I hope you’ve learned a lesson
from this and won’t do it again. Tell others about
this so they will be safe too?’

‘It’s a promise!’

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom all knelt
down together and thanked God for protecting Shannon
from what could have been a tragic situation.

*****NOW**** *

Please share this to as many people as you can to teach them not to give any
information about them selves. This world we live in today is too dangerous
to even give out your age, let alone anything else.