Alone

Aside from my husband, I don't know any other atheists in the real world. Living here in Ohio, southern Ohio, I'm surrounded by religion and conservative mindsets... I came out recently as atheist to friends and lost several. They were too close-minded to accept me for what I am. These are people I've known for almost 20 years!

It's sad and it's disturbing.

I am 99.99999% certain there is no God. Why are so many others so unwilling to see what I see? Will they ever see? If we're right, why are we the minority?

But I guess it's that way with a lot of things. Pro-legalization people are in the minority and we're right. Those in favor of gay marriage and homosexual equality are in the minority (or so it seems), but we're right... Is this just the way it goes? Unpopular truths have to start out with a small following and gain ground?

Alone, surrounded by people, hoping for a chance to break. . .
I am 87% certain IT is incomprehensible, reality is a misleading human notion . . .
Best advice, when not overcome by the moment, be thankful you flitted into existence
and that you are surrounded by a coterie of hominids who mean something to you.
When you can get past the fubar of humanity you graduate. I have a loooonnnngggggg way to go.
Hang on Tracie. Tracie hang on.
Oh yeah, I have atheists around and it is aok.

Well actually I am first an elementary art teacher. This job seems to take most of my energy but it is very rewarding to know that I help children learn how to create a language in drawing and painting. Most of my existing work is drawings and paintings of people, sometimes I will find an old barn to paint or I like to look at photographs of Native Americans by Curtis. I think it is amazing how Pablo Picasso has painted so many sexually charged pictures. I find them interesting and fun but I don't know if it would fit my personality. I am a person who likes to dabble into everything to find new skills and interest. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the time or money to paint or draw, like I should be doing something more useful. Maybe I am just not ready to find my inspiration. Right now what inspires me is saving the earth from complete distruction, haha, for example religious wars, distruction of environment, learning how to live efficient, finding and energy supply that works, etc... I may be caught up in the "Green" moment. I would really be nice to have a woman in my life, and of course be happy about it. I understand what you are saying about fitting in with family. I finally decided that fitting in was not important, what is more important is not to alienate yourself from them. I speak the truth and say what I believe and I let them do what they will as long as it is not harrassment. I know that I can only spend short amounts of time with them as they wish becuase I just do not agree with them most of the time. My immediate family members I tolerate a bit more but I still set limits. Today I told one of my colleuges that I was atheist and she said she was dumb founded, couldn't believe it. It was a casual conversation but I let her know that I think all religious believers are crazy and I realize that all religious people think that I am crazy. She said "I don't think your crazy and I said "sure you do" haha. My point is I know they can't understand why I don't do what they do and I know I can't believe why they don't do what I do in belief. There is really no reason to argue about it, just live your life. I was not trying to be rude, just matter of fact. I don't totally blame people for not believing in truth of nature and instead make up gods. I know that I once believed in it also but like all, we were taught to believe it as children. Then we were socially pressured to except it by the language of "Of course it is true". I feel sorry for the innocent generations who are and will be mislead and lied to. Think of the millions of boys who will will have there penises circumcised for ignorant and injust reasons. Think of all the girls who will be subject to supression by greed. It is maddeningly awful. It is our most educated people too who continue the persicussion of innocent truth. Doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians, counselers and the list goes on exploits the youth to stupidity. I hope I can continue to find inspiration and positive thoughts to fight the fight of survival. I don't like to be mopy and angry it is just hard to brunt the waist of stupid explanations to religious plights. I will try to cheer up.

Cliff - I haven't been to Vegas in a few years; the husband and I have actually had drinks at the Bellagio before. We plan on returning to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Just three more years to go. I know that neither of us would pass us an opportunity to converse with someone else who gets it. People like us are few and far between.

Feralboy12 - Very good point.

Earther - I was reading something the other day that stated that female atheists were rare. I hadn't thought about gender and atheism until that point, quite honestly, but once I did... yeah, there does seem to be a severe lack of vocal godless women. I think this is why for so long I've felt this urge, this *need* to speak up and out about who I am and what I don't believe. It took me ages to finally admit to myself that this is what I am, but once I did, I couldn't understand why I'd been fighting it. Upon more introspective thought I came to realize that I'd been fighting it because I wanted so badly to fit in with family, friends, co-workers, who were all very open with their religious beliefs. I wanted that because I felt I needed it. Only when I stopped hiding from logic did things start to make sense. As I've journeyed this path I've lost friends (as mentioned) and at first I felt... Like it was my fault. That I was being too 'in your face', but I wasn't. My friends were just unsupportive and close-minded. In fact, one of my best friends admitted that she was closeminded. Imagine this if you will, she's a Geologist who doesn't believe in Evolution, but believes wholeheartedly in God and the bible. I'm not sure I understand her and more still, I'm not sure *she* understands her. Was I trying to gently pull aside the wool that's been draped over her eyes with some of my comments, insights, shared links on Facebook? Eh, perhaps. But mostly it was to combat the seemingly endless status updates about Jesus and quotes from the "good" book.

What kind of an artist are you? My husband and I are creative types who also struggle with what we want to gain from our talents. I write, I have for years, I've written scads of fiction novels, self-published a few things here, had a few short stories and poems picked up there... I've always said that I have no desire to be famous or rich. I don't want to make millions, I just want to share my stories with people who might enjoy them. If they pay me, awesome, if not, whatever. But of course in a capitalist society.... That doesn't exactly pay the bills. What I want, really want, is a simplistic, joyful existence. I have my husband and my two children and we all have immense love for one another and life and the things we do; I bake and sew and write and dance with the children. I teach them and love them and take them to the polls when I vote; I have few friends, but they're good friends. I have a small home, but it's clean and warm and always smells like nag champa and freshly baked bread. And when I'm dead and gone, will people remember me? A few. But if they remember me fondly, well... isn't that enough?

Paul - My family will gladly relocate to Northern Ireland to keep you company. Atheist solidarity is what it's called. ;) Have always wanted to visit Ireland, like so many here in the States, my ancestors were from there. As for family not taking you seriously, I get that, I really really do. My father is a deacon at a baptist church, so when I told him that I didn't agree with a lot of the teachings of the bible and christianity he told me it was a phase. This sentiment was echoed recently (at my grandmother's funeral of all places) by his pastor who claimed that life is full of phases and that someday I would return to the church. I wanted to laugh at him and say no, not this lady, but I was civil and I smiled and politely excused myself. I wonder if this is all willful ignorance. I understand being afraid of dying and the unknowns surrounding physical demise, but come on, creating a fairy tale to assuage those fears? It's silliness!

You have my sympathy. Coming from Northern Ireland I too am surrounded by fundamentalists. Most of my family and friends know I'm an atheist and thankfully my closest friends are also non theists; however I get the feeling that my family especially don't take this part of me seriously. I think they think it's just some quirky rebellious thing I'm going through even though I've been 'going through' it for the best part of twenty one years! (I'm now 36).
Even though Northern Ireland is part of the U.K. it has more in common with some hicksville county on the south of the USA. Our Sports and Culture Minister, Nelson McCausland is a creationist idiot and recently called for our local museum, The Ulster Museum, to display alternative creationist viewpoints alongside exhibitions about evolution. He also wanted signs put up at our most famous tourist spot, The Giants Causeway, saying that some people believed the earth was 6000 years old or some such shite. Thankfully on both occassions he was told where to go.
As to why most truely righteous things are supported by minorties, I believe it is because, depressingly, the majority of people on this planet are idiots. They are ignorant, uneducated and intellectually lazy. Sad but true.

Im in Virginia. You being an out of the closet woman atheist makes you very rare. To the best of my knowledge, we are the minorities mostly because of two main reasons: 1) Money are in the pockets who support religious activities 2) Most of the world is poor and are not properly educated or cared for and ultimately lead to believe what others tell them to be true. This combination gives the first reason to exploit the second reason for more money. We all depend on resources to survive and so the war of resources is the ability to have it first. What you do with it after you get it is up to you. So many people who are in the minority are in the minority because they do not have as much as those who are in the majority. Your question is, how can so many people who have so much be so stupid to not support human rights, civility, safety, food, shelter, and education. It is amazing to me as well. You can easily be BOGGED down by the awful image of greed. People must learn to be proactive in order to not always see negative. It is a life of survival. There is no guarantees anywhere so you must always keep vigilent in your survival. Being a member here and learning about others is great. You may also attend confrences on atheist movements and that would be good. Still, there is no guarantee that it will benifit you completely. Finding like mindedness is a need we all have but we all have so many needs that people have to work very hard to find an efficiency of meeting that need. America is lead by the people who have the most power to support the needs of what they want. Americans who live in limbo of not thinking of what is true or what effect the truth has on others play a game of peers. They sniff out the minority and "Brainblock" them out, your 20 year long friendship for example. Did you know your blog post has the same title as another blogger here just a few days ago? I am suffering a bit of uneasiness as well being an atheist and having skills as an artist. I want to make art yet I am stiffled by the issue of what do I want to communicate publicly. As an artist you have to think about what you want to communicate and how that communication will affect others and yourself. On top of that how do you make art effectively. Is the art just for yourself or is it to create income. Take a look at the art that is out there now and how does it change the world to the better? Does the art just get consumed by the wealthy? Ultimately if you just make art for income how is it furthering your cause of survival in your belief in truth? The money is always sucked up by the government who is controlled by the people who don't give a damn about your civil rights. I know I am not helping the proactive stream of thought here but it makes me angry. If I make "atheist" art then I feel like I will get bogged down and squashed by terrorist mentalities. If I make art pertaining to niceties then I feel like I am waisting my time and money and then get squashed by the light of day. In some ways you can believe that we are in a war of thought. In that light we should continue to learn from each other in being efficient in acheiving our goals of survival. I hope you find a friend close by but if you do not, keep up the good work of truth. Make a home without war, arguements, and resentments. Be proactive to your skills, hobbies, and social network. We are farmers forever and so we may have a crop worth collecting and sometimes you have to start all over.