Dallas Cowboy Joke Contest

There are two types of people in the world: thems that can tell jokes and thems that cannot. I’ve always regretted that I’m not terribly good at joke telling or even remembering jokes.

I do appreciate a good joke and joke teller though. So, in honor of the upcoming Texans-Cowboys game, I am hosting a Dallas Cowboys joke contest.

I know it will be hard for some, but the joke has to be clean enough that kids reading the blog would be okay with it. Leave as many or as few jokes as you would like in the comment section. The contest ends Monday, and I will have my good friend Diane pick the winner. The winner will be mailed various Texans swag out of my vast collection of Texans stuff, and will be contacted by email.

For those of you who are non-good at joke telling, you can leave a funny Cowboy focused limerick or haiku or perhaps free form poetry. If it is good enough, it might win.

I am a crack dealer in Houston who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Houston and one of my sisters, who lives in Austin, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Galveston. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct.

All things considered,my main problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

“Do the Dallas Cowboys have the most obnoxious fans in the NFL? I think so, but I am open for arguments to the contrary.”

Right division, wrong team. Philadelphia Eagles fans are the most obnoxious.

They also happen to be the most vociferous anti-Dallas lot, so that might have something to do with it.

For instance, they cheered when Michael Irvin had his neck broken by a couple of headhunting Eagles DB’s at that mausoleum known as Veterans Stadium. And just last week they came up with an “original” chant of “O.D. O.D.” for Terrell Owens.

Now, maybe it’s only the fans that show up at “the Linc” who are that bad, but those two examples exemplify a fanbase that lacks class and restraint.

Steph, I think the Texans have a much better shot at taking this game than anyone in the media, especially our local one, give them credit for. The national media isn’t even acknowledging that there is a team called the “Texans” playing against the T.O. cowboys. Add in QB controversy, legendary overconfidence, all too familiar O-line issues, and they are fallible.

Our local guys covering the team from inside and out of the locker room reserve their picks for the Cowgirls for an altogether different reason(s). Either we don’t want to jinx our guys or more sadly, we the fans are guilty of what we criticize some of the players for. We’re used to losing. And we don’t want to get our hopes up because as Houston sports fans we have suffered such devastating fates as the Buffalo fiasco, the 8 year playoff run of the Oilers without so much as an appearance at the big dance only to watch the Darth Vader of NFL owners take our aspirations to a community that did not put in their share of suffering before the reward, or the failure of the Barkley/Pippen signings, and the totality of the Astros history (excluding last year). But that’s what a fan does. We cheer with the spirit we want represented in our local sports heroes. A losing mentality pervades more than the Texans’ locker room, it spills ink from Justice and McClain all the time. But I read it. And sometimes, I believe it. Because in Houston, the expectation of losing softens the blow. In the best of times we Justify it as a challenge or a motivating, prove-our-fears-wrong effect. I have respect for some of the sports minds at the Chronicle, but maybe it’s too much to ask that the reporters be subjective fans, loyal to our Texans and reject the Cowboys…ALWAYS. That being a shot at McClain. You, not being a staff writer have the liberty to bring a different perspective that is refreshing. I go to your blog for what I don’t find in others, much less their articles, and that is the sense that your motivations cost you. You are frustrated sometimes, and many of us are right there with you. And I for one relish the time you dealt some Justice of your own! (Oh, and they can take off his “On Any Given Sunday…” article that has been there for three weeks)

I will be watching the game with some of my friends who are staunch supporters of the Cowgirls (friends turned mortal enemies come game time!) and will risk the ridicule they will surely throw after winning a game they SHOULD win. However, when the Texans take their second victory against the J.R. Ewing team, I will be the definition of gloating. I cannot wait. I fear not.

Just remember,the worst we can be is 1-1 against the Cowboys!! Its OK to pull for the Texans,hoping they can pull it off. If we play good football offensively,maybe we can outscore them,38-35. Eternally optimistic!!!!!!!!! GO TEXANS!!!!!!!!

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, “Jenny, why didn’t you raise your hand?” Jenny replied, “Because I’m not a Cowboy fan!” The still shocked teacher asked, “Well, if you aren’t a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?” Jenny answered, “I’m a Houston Texans fan and proud of it!” The teacher couldn’t believe her ears. “Jenny, why in the world are you a Texans fan?!” Jenny replied, “Because my mom is a Texans fan, my dad is a Texans fan, so I’m a Texans fan, too!” The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, “That is no reason for you to be a Texans fan! You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!” Jenny smiled and said, “Then I’d be a Dallas Cowboy fan!”

Scoreboard Loudmouths. Jerry Jones took over a 1/15 team with a rookie QB (Aikman) and in what 4 or 5 years ? Won a Super Bowl and then the next year won another skipped what a year two years? and won another. If you blame an owner when his team loses, got to give him credit when his team wins. Must have done something right. Taking a terrible team and rising to the top that fast.