Author's infos

Introduction:

Gifts entry

A Gift for Ava (The Calling) CAW9
I may have thought way, way outside the box but I hope Ava’s story is accepted as an entry and most importantly I hope you all enjoy it!!! Lots of lust, Farmer Joe
Oh and if X is kiss and O his hug then what is the symbol for lick?
Ava strolled slowly on her way home from school after a very busy day. She had done an average job at a science test and had nearly been decapitated by a hockey stick. Besides home was not such an inviting place as it used to be. It was always noisy and money was tight with the new baby around. Her once happily married parents were always at each other’s throats and the only time they seemed to speak to her was when they screamed at her to do her homework or change the baby. At one time Ava’s parents were the coolest parents in her class. Her Dad had been captain of the football team at college and her Mom had been a Model and a Cheerleader. These days her dad ran his own landscaping business that was not doing so well and her Mom helped him out when she could which was less often than it used to be while the baby was young and another reason for them to fight with each other. At least it had helped them to stay in shape; they still both looked hot for parents she thought as she bobbed up and down off the gutter as she strolled. She thought about going to the mall on her way home. She liked to watch people and daydream, pretending they were rich and famous or superheros or adventurers. Well at least she used to fantasise in that way, these days the boys in her dreams were more handsome, the girls had more curves and the kisses on the cheek lasted much longer and were not often on the cheek either.

Her body and her interests had made significant changes in her sixteenth year and she was going through it alone. Today she sat at the juice bar and sipped a fruit smootie as she watched the travel consultants next door pack up their agency. The tall dark handsome male consultant came out into the mall to take in the sign and winked at her before returning into the shop carrying the sign. The attractive female consultant topped up some brochures in the pockets on the wall. Ava drifted off and pictured the tall handsome man approaching the woman from behind and kissing her on the neck as he pulled blouse out of her skirt and stuck his hands on her breasts and fondled them. He continued biting and kissing her neck as his hands moved to the waistband of her skirt and began to slide it over her firm round ass. He kneeled on one knee and kissed each side of her gorgeous ass as he helped her step out of her skirt and she pulled her blouse of over her head without unbuttoning it. She turned to face him and he picked her up and headed toward the desk with her legs wrapped around him as she unhooked her bra and took it off throwing it on the floor allowing her large long nippled breasts to bounce free. He laid her across the desk and took one large nipple into his mouth as he began unbuckling his pants.

Someone passed between Ava and the window breaking her concentration and running the dream. She looked daggers at them for spoiling her fantasy and then looked in to see if the consultants were still in the room so she could refocus and hopefully continue her daydream. Ava nearly choked on her smoothie when she looked in the window to see the man still sucking at the woman’s big breasts with his pants and boxers now around his ankles. What the hell was happening? Perhaps she was never daydreaming, or perhaps she was seeing things. Yes that was it; her overactive imagination was finally playing tricks on her. She rubbed her eyes and took a closer look as she saw the man put his cock in her pussy and started to move back and forward inside her. She gasped and picked up her bag and ran all the way home for 3 blocks spilling most of the rest of her smoothie on her way.

When she got home she ran up to her room and shut the door behind her and slumped on her bed. It wasn’t the sex that had shocked her; she had snuck into her dad’s extensive library on many occasions and had even started masturbating semi regularly. She was sure she had been fantasising when she was actually watching two people fucking, or was she?

The next day she was sitting outside the principal’s office watching the principle yelling at one of her friends. The pair of them had been caught ditching class to share a smoke behind the maintenance shed after fifth period. Just for fun she imagined her friend seducing the principal to get out of trouble. She imagined her friend spreading her lags revealing her tiny tight little cunt to him as he moved around his desk and knelt between her spread legs. She laughed to herself quietly as she knew how grossed out Tina would be by this fantasy and looked away. When she looked back she could see Tina’s head tilted back but there was no sign of the principal. Tina appeared to be moaning in pleasure. Ava crossed the corridor and pressed her ear to the door and heard Tina order him to lick her pussy. What the fuck was going on?

All of a sudden she heard an almighty scream and then Tina ran out leaving the door swinging open and the principal standing there looking like he had seen a ghost.

“Umm, do you want to see me now sir?” She asked to break the silence and the tension.

“Er...um... no Ava. Just don’t do whatever you did again please. Now go back to class”

Ava went to the toilets to check up on Tina and found her in a cubicle sitting in a trance bobbing back and forward.

“Are you all right babe?” Ava asked pushing Tina’s hair off her face.

“I don’t know”

“Well what happened in there?”

Tina’s reply sent shivers down Ava’s spine “I can’t remember. One minute he was screaming at me and then I must have lost consciousness and when I came to he was eating me out”

“Fuck, are you going to go to the cops?”

“Well.....no. I don’t remember him forcing me and when I screamed he looked as shocked as me at what was going on” Tina explained.

“Come on girl, I’ll walk you home” Ava said putting an arm around Tina.

After dropping Tina off home Ava went to the mall to get a drink and think about what had happened. She had been watching the consultants and fantasising about them and then Déjà vu style they started fucking just like in her fantasy. Then Tina, who never in a million years would have anything sexual to do with the principal as he disgusted her, but here she was ordering him to lick her pussy until Ava was no longer daydreaming. Did Ava have something to do with it? The thought scared the hell out of her but also had an element of excitement about it. Ava knew she must put herself to the test so she could get the idea out of her head and move on, but who? Where?

Ava decided her targets needed to be an unlikely match, complete strangers even. She did not want to hesitate so she headed down to the park in hopes of proving herself wrong. She sat for a while listening to music and watching people walking, running, picnicking and playing sport. Suddenly she noticed an elderly man sitting on a park bench reading and decided that he was one half of the pair she needed. She continued to watch for a while until she saw a young female skater, probably 18 or 19 in denim shorts and a cut off T. She tried to imagine them having sex immediately, there was no introductions or foreplay just the old man screwing the girl’s brains out.

All of a sudden the girl skated up to the elderly man and talked to him briefly before they headed off to the water’s edge together. Ava kept them in sight, following at a distance so as not to be seen. When down by the water the man pulled down his pants as the girl took of her shorts and underwear and lay spread legged in front of him. The man climbed in between her legs and sunk his stiff cock into her tight young pussy and started banging her as hard as his heart could withstand until he came inside her. Ava’s mouth dropped open and she turned away and began to leave convinced that she had caused the couple to have sex. Seconds later there was another almighty shriek from where the couple lay by the water and Ava turned back to see the unlikely couple both staring at each other in terror. She quickly imagined them kissing good bye and going there own way as if nothing had happened. Immediately the old man leaned in and kissed the girl on the lips and then they both dressed and went back to what they were doing.

Ava didn’t sleep at all that night. She went from being scared of this freakish thing that was happening to her to being excited about all of the doors of opportunity it would open up for her. The following day she arrived home from school to hear her parents yelling in the kitchen and had an idea. She snuck into the broom closet with the door slightly ajar where she could see them and began fantasising. Like two puppets they began dancing to the tune of Ava’s every desire.

Her dad slipped up behind her mum as she washed dishes in the sink and slipped his hands inside her singlet and up over her beautiful tits and began to squeeze. She moaned as he nibbled her neck and shoulders and then pulled the singlet off over her head. He turned her around and kissed her hard on the lips and then bent down and took her nipple into his mouth and sucked it. Ava had now transferred her parents straight into the set of one of her dad’s porn movies mentally and they were giving the performance of a life time. After her dad had bitten and sucked her mums large firm tits she countered with and assault on his muscular chest as her tongue danced its way around his nipples and down his flat stomach. She wasted no time in dropping his shorts down around his ankles and sinking his rock hard cock in her mouth. She slurped and licked her away around the tip of his prick and then swallowed his entire shaft hungrily as he put his strong hands on the back of her head and began lightly stroking in and out of her mouth. She rubbed and massaged his balls and pumped the shaft in and out of her mouth with the other hand for several minutes before he grunted.

“Coming”

He sprayed his jizz all over her pretty face and tits and then cleared the kitchen bench with a wild and powerful backhand, picked her up and parked her on the bench. She lay back and pushed her tits together and moaned as he dove face first into her moist pussy with his tongue as far up her as he could. He sucked her lips and ran his tongue firmly up and down her clean shaven slit before flicking her clit back and forth with the tip of his tongue. He spun circles around her sensitive clit and then sucked it into his throat and released it several times bringing on a wave of violent orgasms as she shook and shuddered on the kitchen bench. He did not wait to recover he stood between her legs rubbing the huge head of his cock up and down her dripping pussy and then slammed into her and began his fierce battering on her pussy that had only just stopped quivering from his oral assault.

Ava undid her pants and thrust her hand into the huge wet spot and started to finger herself trying not to get caught in the process. Her father leaned over her mother and hungrily fed on her spectacular breasts. They could have been porn stars putting on an award winning performance for the camera as her mum thrust her hips up into her dad and he ravaged her magnificent body. Ava’s finger slid up and down her tiny slit and her thumb flicked her clit as she began to imagine their orgasm. No sooner had she envisioned it than her mum moaned deep and low and began cumming. Her dad also thrust violently into her spurting load after load of his creamy cum deep into her stomach. Ava’s legs weakened as she began to tremble and supported herself against the wall as her orgasm ripped through her young pussy and drained her entire body of energy.

Ava made her parents get dressed and go about their previous business with her mind and then went to her room to lie down. As she recovered from the event that had just taken place she acknowledged the gift that dwelt within her. She wondered what limitations if any her special ability had. She imagined how she could help the ones she loved even more than she had already helped her parents, finally she dreamed of all the ways she could have fun with it.

Just then her older brother who she idolised walked in and sat on her bed next to her. He was tall and muscular and followed in his father’s footsteps being captain of the football team. He looked out for Ava and she thought he was just awesome. He asked her if she wanted to come down to the mall with him because he had to pick up some things. All of a sudden she had an idea, she focused hard and imagined her brother sliding her knickers off and then touching her pussy with his strong muscular hand then diving in and eating her tight little..................

Bang a pillow hit her in the head and disrupted her fantasy.

“So did you want to come or not Squirt?” he said

“Sure” she replied

She was a little disappointed that it seemed her gift would not be of personal benefit, or at least of personal sexual benefit but she was a good looking girl and would not be likely to have trouble in that area. Besides she was happy to be going to the mall with Greg and it got her out of the house as well. On the way out she saw something that surprised her a little, her father walked past her mum and instead of the usual dig about something petty he slapped her playfully an her firm ass and kept walking. Her mum stared at him as he kept moving and then smiled and kept making dinner. Ava was amazed, would her or could her interference in their relationship earlier have some sort of long term benefit she wondered? Only time would tell. For now she was going to have a great time with her gorgeous older brother at the mall.

When she got there her brother asked her if she was ok to come to the outdoors shop and get camping supplies and then the store for groceries for the trip he and his friends were planning for the weekend. She saw a camera store and had an idea.

“Do you mind if I chill here with some friends and meet you at the burger bar in a bit” she asked

“Sure, see you in around an hour” he said as he messed her hair up and walked off.

When he was out of sight she walked into the travel shop and straight up to the female travel consultant and told her she was doing a school project and needed a video camera and asked the woman if she would like to buy her one. The woman asked if she was crazy and told her to go away.

“You know my dad is a security officer here in the mall and has access to the security footage, how would you like your boss to see you fucking prince charming over there all over this desk? Huh”

“Umm .... Ok, ok”

“Tony I’m taking a break to help this girl out with something, be back in 10” she said.

The woman begrudgingly went to the store with her and bought her a neat little digital hand held job with a memory card and told her to get lost before she called the cops.

When Greg returned he offered to buy her a burger so they both sat and ate and chatted.

“Where’d you get the camera Squirt?” he asked.

She paused before answering as she needed to share her secret with someone and was tossing up between Greg and Tina, her best friend. Greg sensing something was up decided to lighten the moment and try and make her relax.

“You didn’t steal it did you?”

She did not answer his question but decided he would be the better candidate as he was older and always looked out for her. Besides he had already helped her out of some sticky situations before.

“Greg if I tell you something, you’ve got t o keep it to yourself and promise you won’t laugh at me”

“Shit you did steal it” he laughed

“Ass hole, I’m serious, something is happening that has got me freaked out a little and I don’t know what to do”

“Sorry Squirt, go ahead. I’m listening”

“I think about sex, like I imagine people have sex and they do”

“Huh? Like you have been spying on someone or something? That’s a little kinky Sis”

“No, no. I mean I think about two people fucking and they start fucking. Like I am controlling them or something”

“No way, you’re serious?”

“See those two over there” (she pointed to the travel consultants) “I made them fuck the other day”

“It’s called fantasy Sis and all of us do it, it’s ok, you don’t have to worry about it”

“Nooooooo” she said getting annoyed. “I made Mum and Dad fuck at home to”

“Listen Squirt, I sure would like to believe you, but this is weird stuff. Can you show me? Like make a guy come and suck your tits or something”

“Oh and why is that? Would you like to see my tits or something?”

“Hell yeah”

“Not today Champ besides it doesn’t work on me, I already tried it”

“Oh yeah? Who’s the lucky fella?”

She felt her face burn up with embarrassment.

“Come on, spill”

She decided what the heck; he would already be thinking she was a weirdo anyway.

“You”

Coke sprayed out of his mouth and his jaw hung wide open.

“Holy fuck sis”

“Greg please! Do you believe me or not?”

“Well can you make someone suck my cock or something?”

“No, the people involved usually have no idea once I start controlling them and therefore no memory afterwards. And it seems I have to have them in my vision and keep the fantasy going until the end and make them go back to what they are doing”

“Why?” he had a puzzled look on his face

“Well I made a couple fuck in the park and turned to leave just after they came and they both came out of the trance and started screaming and stuff. They had no idea how they got together”

He chuckled

“Sorry Squirt but I would have liked to have seen that. Hey I have an idea, you are going to go to school and make your dear principal and deputy principal fuck and get it on tape. Then you are going to get A’s for the rest of the year, or longer”

“I don’t know. What if I get caught?”

“I will help but maybe we should test this gift of yours first Sis. Let’s go home and make Mum and Dad fuck again”

They finished eating and headed home feeling a mixture of excitement and anticipation. When they arrived home their parents were shouting at one another in the kitchen.

“You ready Squirt” asked Greg

She nodded as they entered the kitchen only to be ignored by their parents as they continue arguing. Ava closed her eyes and began to picture her parents coming together and ravaging each other’s bodies and then opened her eyes to make it happen. Although she could see them in her head caressing and ravaging one another in her head they continued to argue.

“Perhaps it is me sis. I’ll hide in the cupboard”

“Me to” Ava said

“No let’s see if it works while you are in the room”

He hid but the argument erupted and her dad stormed outside. Ava could see her father slumped in a chair out of the window ass her mum cried in the kitchen. Her mum stopped crying and looked out at her father now with lust and began to go outside after him. Her father heard the door slam as she left the house and turned as she approached. She walked over and sat facing him straddled in his lap. Meanwhile Greg joined Ava’s side as their parents kissed and tongue wrestled in a fiercely passionate kiss driven by their pure and raging lust for one another.

“Do it sis, go out there. I want to see if it works”

She hesitantly went outside keeping her distance and trying not to be seen. Her presence did not seem to distract her parents at all as she crept closer deliberately scuffing her feet in some rubble to see if the noise was heard by them. Still no response, she coughed into her hand now only a few metres from where her parents were now devouring each other under the spell of her gift but again no sign of them sensing her presence. Her father raised his muscular ass of the seat as her mother dragged his shorts off him and then pulled her own off her body almost in one continuous motion. She knelt between his powerful legs and licked at his cock as it bounced around in her face. Ava continued to approach with a new excitement and a boldness taking over her. Ave reached out seemingly invisible to her parents and touched her father’s shaft with a finger tip. Her body shook violently as she imagined would happen when someone was hit by a bolt of lightning and an enormous amount of energy drained from her body. She collapsed next to the pair who paused briefly and looked around but then continued as her mum gobbled her dad’s swollen cock into her mouth and sucked it skilfully into the back of her throat.

Greg wanted to run to Ava but he could not as the consequences for the four of them may be disastrous. Ava sat slumped against the chair her father was sitting in as her mum’s pretty face bounced back and forward, her mouth full of her dad’s huge cock. Her mum having sufficiently lubricated her dads prick then climbed back into his lap as he positioned his cock at the entrance to her bald cunt. She slid down and held her father tightly to her as she bounced up and down in his lap with her delicious tits rubbing in his face. He took a pointy nipple into his mouth and sucked greedily on it as she raised the other nipple to her own lips and flicked the nipple playfully and then began to suck it. Her dad now placed his hands on her mums ass and lifted then slammed her down in her lap as she began to puff and pant with excruciating delight. Her dad’s head dropped back with his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he moaned with his balls churning beneath his bloated shaft ready to explode.

Her mum let go of her dad and lay back being supported by his muscular arms with her spectacular hard nippled tits pointing straight up in the air and began to gasp her way to orgasm. The two of them came together with an explosion of gasps and groans as her father blasted rope after rope of sticky cum into her womb. They sat unmoving and exhausted in each other’s arms for a few minutes before getting dressed and each going about their business as they were released from the powerful hold of their daughters amazing gift. Seeing his father leave the yard Greg raced to his sister’s side

“Fuck are you ok Squirt? What happened?”

“It felt like an electric shock, I guess I will never benefit from this gift or this curse”

“Baby, you’re like a real life super hero or something. We’ll sort it out Sis. We can’t have you miss out now can we”

He held his sister as she melted in his strong protective arms, he always looked after her, made her feel safe and like she could conquer anything.

“Thank you for always taking care of me Champ, I love you” she said turning to face him

“My pleasure Sis” he said

There was no way either of them could pull out of the powerful force that drew their lips together. He kissed his sister deeply in a way he had longed to for as long as he remembered. Ava had an ability to control others minds for sexual gratification but her brother had the ability to control her heart. They kissed for a long time until suddenly their father appeared back in the yard.

“Oh hey guys, what are you up to?”

He said cheerfully.

“Um....Ava fell and I was just helping her up”

Greg said clumsily, completely startled by nearly being busted plus his dad’s uncharacteristic cheerful mood not to mention the fact that he had a raging hard on and wanted to bang his own sisters brains out.

“Oh ok well be careful and tell your mum I will be in for dinner in around half an hour if that’s ok”

Greg and Ava looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Ok dad”

Ava replied. Greg and Ava headed upstairs completely blown away not only by the discoveries they had made about Ava’s extraordinary gift but also by the discovery of their mutual desire of one another. They regrouped in Greg’s room as no one would come in there and closed the door and picked up where they left off in a deep and passionate kiss. Greg slowly began to peel off Ava’s school uniform. She let it drop to the floor as he lifted h is own t shirt over his head. She reached behind her and unhitched her bra letting her small firm breasts bounce free. Greg immediately dove down and sucked her already hardening nipples one at a time. She gasped at his warm breath and moist lips as they circled her aching nipples. She felt like a woman, like a mother feeding her infant as he sucked her nipples in and out of his hungry mouth. She reached for his pants and unbuttoned them as he helped her by pushing them to the floor.

Ava pushed Greg back onto the bed and he leaned back with his huge prick standing straight up handsomely in the air.

“Oh Greg, is this really happening?”

“I know Squirt; I have wanted this for so long”

Ava knelt between his legs and took the large member firmly in both hands and kissed the purple head as a child kisses its mother. She closed her eyes as she could this time without having impact on her sexual encounter and took the delicious knob into her mouth. She moved her hands up and down stroking his thick shaft as she explored the surface of his bulbous cockhead with her hungry tongue. Her brother while being popular with the girls and definitely not new to this experience still found himself on the edge as this was his sister, his gorgeous sister who he had dreamed of for so long but he’d denied himself the pleasure of acting on his feelings for her sake and because he was unsure if she felt the same way. She slowly took as much of his cock into her mouth as she could and started gliding up and down his shaft. Her head bobbed up and down and her hands stroked up and down and occasionally twisted the skin on the shaft as she had seen in her dad’s movies.

Greg dropped on his back across the bed and warned his sister that he was about to cum. Her head and hands worked faster on his cock as his ball sack tightened and he began to blast a load of cum in her mouth. She could not bring herself to swallow without tasting and so cum flowed from the corners of her mouth and down his shaft. She rolled the creamy fluid around in her mouth thinking it tasted salty and thick but at the same time kind of sweet and incredibly sticky. Finally she licked it from the roof of her mouth like it was peanut butter and swallowed it.

“Yum” she accidentally thought out loud as she began cleaning every last drop off his cock and balls. He sat up and asked

“Have you ever had your pussy licked Squirt?”

“Um....no” she said turning red at the thought of it.

“Well lie down and hang on to something”

She lay across the bed with her knees bent and her legs opened wide as Greg knelt between her legs and placed his hands under her tight ass. As he began to lap at her tight little pussy he pushed her pussy into his face and wiggled his tongue as deep inside her as he could. Immediately it was more than she could bare and she came in a series of short but strong orgasms as he continued to run his tongue up and down her sopping wet little slit. He circled around her clit and then flicked it back and forward playfully and started sucking it into his mouth as she drove her head back into the mattress and arched her hips pushing her cunt hard into his face. She squealed and shuddered violently then dropped back on the bed as her body experienced the biggest orgasm of her young life.

“Oh Greg I am in heaven. I have never cum like that before. God it felt good”

“We don’t have to fuck now, we can...................

“No no I want to; I need to feel you in me. It has been all I have wanted for so long” she begged.

“Well ok, this is going to hurt Sis, so I am going to go slow, ok?”

She nodded as he climbed on top of her running his tongue from her belly button up between her tits over her neck and chin and kissed her hard on the lips as he poked his cock around her pussy and ass cheeks until he found her well lubricated slit with the end of his huge prick. She gasped and her eyes widened as she felt how big just the tip of his prick felt just sitting at the entrance to her virgin cunt.

She screamed as he read her mind and slammed it in quick tearing her hymen and stretching the walls of her tiny cunt beyond belief. Tears streamed down her face as she beat his chest with her tiny clenched fists and whimpered

He did not move again until her performance settled and she was ready then he backed slowly out and pushed gently back in. She puffed and panted as her body adapted to the tree trunk nearly splitting her in two. With every gentle thrust the stinging gave way to a pleasurable tingling bit by bit until she was begging her brother to fuck her harder. He began thrusting harder and pushing a little deeper and soon her breaths shortened as she neared another climax. She grabbed the sheets and held on tight as he pumped her harder and she exploded in orgasm. He continued thrusting gently inside her gliding in and out slowly and gracefully until her breathing returned to normal and then put his muscular arm beneath her back and flipped over on the bed with her on top of him with his cock still inside her.

She placed her hands on his shapely chest and began to push her hips forward and then back as he reached up and squeezed small but well shaped tits and rubbed the nipples between his fingers and thumbs. Greg grabbed his sister’s ass and started assisting her thrusts with his powerful arms. Both of them now had temporarily forgotten about her amazing gift but in this moment no gift would enhance the experience that was taking place as these siblings brought immeasurable bliss upon one another. They turned on the bed a little so Ava could grab hold of the bed head to steady herself as her brother now started slamming into her. She yelped every time he bottomed out in her tiny stomach. She placed a hand on her stomach just below her navel and felt the head of his cock with her hand every time it slid deep inside her. Her perky tits started bouncing fiercely on her chest as his thrusting kicked into top gear and she moaned a long continuous moan as they both approached climax.

“Cum inside me”

She ordered as she felt his balls contract as they slammed repeatedly against her ass cheeks. She felt blast after blast of his sticky sweet jizz rearrange her insides as it shot up inside her convulsing body. Their bodies tingled and ached as their orgasm seemed to last for hours before they lay totally drained on the bed next to one another.

“Oh my god Squirt where did you learn to fuck like that?”

“I think sex is my destiny, perhaps even my calling”

“Oh shit Sis, I have a lot of life ahead of me, but I will never have a root like that again”

She giggled and lay in his arms for a while. After laying there for some time Greg finally spoke up and said

“So this calling of yours, When do you want us to put plan ‘A’ in to action”

She giggled as she began to imagine her nerdy old principal climbing on top of her geeky deputy principal in her principal’s office.

i feel you need to delete this story and start over. always start at the begining and work forward never start in the middle any GOOD writer knows that. it would be best if you just deleted this and wrote another story as the first chapter filling in the gaps pointed out by hawthorne. this would be chapter two then three or four would finish it off

Well I have to say that this has got to be your best story yet...however Hawthore has some very good points. I would really like to see more of this story because it has alot of unlimited potential it could be the best story on this site. I also would like to read more story and have some romance not just sex it makes for a more enjoyable story. Keep up the great work ! Dev

Thank you so much for your constructive criticism. Yes the story is a bit of a snapshot specifically intended for CAW9 but intended to be part of a series. I intended a sequel but hadn't really thought about a prequal until you suggested it. I am working on several projects at the moment but will add this to the list. Thanks again

I liked your story, but it felt like a moment in time, with no true beginning or ending. We are left without a clear understanding of Ava's gift, why she has it, where it came from, and finally, what the resolution will be. As a snapshot of a simple moment it works well, but there are details missing that threw me. Why are the parents fighting? Why doesn't her gift work around her brother? What potential consequences will she face from using it? Is it only sexual daydreams she can turn into reality? I wanted more Hopefully, you use this as a springboard to filling in the gaps and answering these questions.