Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Let's (Not) talk about work...

Right, so I am following Mal, who is following these three spies, who is following my employer Dante. If we are speaking frankly, Mal is an evil mastermind who has some wicked plot cooked up.

These spies (and Mal) just don't tire, and a indigo, three lekkued, twilek dancing girl, following these people in broad daylight, would be an obvious choice, but for some reason, no-body is noticing me. I thought it was really odd, but nobody ever notices me, unless they have a given name.

Dante finally turned off into a main republic office, and the spies, (and Mal) followed the road until they came to a side street, and then they went to a large warehouse. Mal disapeared. I looked around, it was well into night, and I looked about. I could see as clearly as day, Mal could not, he was human. I didn't see him at all.

I rushed to the building and climbed up to the window, and looked down in, I could hear the spies, but I couldn't understand them. They were talking about something... Shouldn't my writer, like follow the movie rules? All foreign spies speak galatic common when alone and discussing their plans.

I waited for a second to see if they would switch langauges. No such luck. I reached for my Call Electronically Everywhere Linker, or my Cell for short, and I dialed ACME deliveries.

"Acme here, if you need something delivered conviently no matter where you are, we've got it."

"This is Erifia Apoc..."

"Ahhh, yes Miss Secura."

"Erifia Apoc."

"Right, sorry, Miss Apoc, it says you are currently listening to spies who you can't understand, and you need to understand what they say. It will cost you $50,000 credits... Don't complain about the cost, they might hear you."

"Yes..."

Immeadiatly a delivery girl walked up the crates to where I was, and handed me a bottle.

"Enjoy, thank you for relying on the old gags of Acme. In existance until the end of pop culture."

Inside the bottle there was a fish, with directions that said, 'Place in ear.'

Once in, it felt weird for a second, and then I heard the spies.

"So we conclude this meeting of a rehashing of our plans, and an explanation of where each of us live, our boss, and our one dire weakness. Good. See you guys tomorrow."

Then they just vanished. Period. I curled into a ball, and hid for about a half hour. Once I was sure the coast was clear, I left.

If you'll excuse me, I have to see if this thing can be removed from my ear, and go and spy on Mal in the safety of his own apartment,

Monday, June 26, 2006

Doing my job...

Hi all, for those of you who don't know me, Good. Right now I am undercover.

I'm going to give you a quick backstory of what I know... There is this cool chick, her name is Oneida, right? She's kind of dating a man named Typho, and there is this other guy named Mal, who took her out why Typho and Oneida were fighting. Now. Oneida and Mal got these messages, from each other, asking them to meet each other. Well, anyway... Long story short, Typho got a replay of Oneida saying some pretty mean things about Typho, to Mal, but it was sliced, and so Typho, hired me to find out who had sliced the picture, and quintessentially finding out who was stalking Oneida.

*Deep, Deep Breath*

So... That's the story. That's why, I am currently sitting on the corner Starbuckers (Owned by Fluke), across the street from the Skywalkers (Owned by Ani), watching this Mal guy. He's a rather droll thing, all he does is sit there, drinking his cofee, reading his paper.

There are like, six attractive young women around him, and he's seen them, but hasn't batted a side eye to them. It seemed so weird to me... I almost wanted to go straddle his waist, and see if he did anything, but there were a few flaws in that.

1) It would blow my cover.2) Frankly, I think he's an evil man and a playerc) He might shoot me.Green) Typho would see me.

Wait! Typho would see me? I looked over, Typho had walked right by him, I think he was looking for me. The sly devil. He wouldn't see me. I watched him walk down the street, now, staying exactly twenty seconds (I counted, its true) behind him, were three men, trying to look like they were walking in the crowd.

Now, Mal looked at them, then looked back to his paper. Whether he was some wicked mastermind or not, I cannot say, maybe he just recongized them, or maybe he was doing the same thing I was.

After waiting, thirty seconds, Mal rose from where he was sitting, left some cash, and set the paper down, and he followed the men. I sighed, and I left some money, and after twenty seconds, I followed Mal.

If you'll excuse me, I have four suspicious people to follow, and only maybe one dangerous one,

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Bugs, why'd it have to be bugs

“Don’t worry about it,” I stated, as I stood, “You’ll pay me once its done, Or, I’ll collect it from your flesh,” I said with a sweet and innocent smile, “If you NEED to contact me, you’ll need to use a secure line, and call my ship, there should be someone to answer there, and she’ll say I don’t know a lot. I will start tonight at midnight.” I slipped him a piece of paper with my number.

I walked to the door, and opened it, “If you see me, than I’m not doing my job right,” I took a step out, light sabers, and ship caller, with a thermal detonator hanging from all three of my lekkus.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he than motioned for me to close the door. Which I started to, and he said, “One last thing. My Apartment may or may not be bugged. I scanned it and I think it’s clean, but another scan wouldn’t hurt. Can you do that?”

I nodded, and closed the door. I walked through the bar, and tossed a coin to Rolthgar.“Thanks…” I said. Walking down the street. If I used my very obvious ship, it would ruin the point. It took me some time to arrive at the apartment complex, and I saw perfectly clear as if it was day, in the dark halls. I arrived at his door, and I began to check. I disengaged the lock on the door, and walked in.

I was surprised he hadn’t made it home yet, or if he was, he’d never know I was there. I did a walk through of the room with a scanner, than I checked the one place no-body ever checks. I reached out his window with the scanner, and found a bug on the outside of the wall. I removed it, making sure it didn’t sound like I had. I scribbled, ‘Now you know its here, use it to your advantage – EA’ on a sheet of paper, and set it next to the bug on the table. I left silently, and I did a silent sweep of the building to see if anyone was walking around that didn’t belong. Once I was sure that there wasn't, I left the building, and went to my ship to rest for the night.

If you'll excuse me, my time with (the wonderful) Dante is over,

Kugs and Hisses... I mean... Kisses and Hugs... I mean, Hugs and Kisses,Erifia Apoc

Friday, June 23, 2006

Slicers, Stupidity, and why I hate videos

“If you are a jedi, why would you moonlight like this?” he asked. Something told me he had some deep dislike of the jedi order.

“I was trained as a jedi knight, and instead of being like the other jedi, I opted for spying, and in doing so, the Jedi Temple scarcely recognizes my existence,” I looked up from the video, “I finished a big mission for the republic, they’ve given me a leave of absence… Only to call me if it was really important.”

Maybe he wouldn’t believe me, but I didn’t care, “Okay, now that that’s out of the way, look here,” I played back a small section of the tape for him, “Anything out of the normal there?”

“You tell me,” he said trying to seem like he saw something, but wanted to make sure I saw it first.

“Watch, closely, right here…” I pointed at the holo video, and there, “See, whenever a slicer is really good, he or she will leave their mark. Something that other slicers can pick up on.” There was something etched in, just for a second, and it was a weird symbol, that looked like a circle with an I written through it, “The slicer’s mark. It probably appears in the other two as well.”

“A calling card,” he exclaimed, “Whoever did this wasn’t very bright.”

“I’m not a big slicer, never have been, I don’t have the patience for it, but I have a calling card too, just like ever other slicer in the galaxy. Mine is two sabers crossed, and one moving up from the center, I usually leave it in a dark indigo, partially hidden on screen.”

He shook his head not understanding, “That should make your investigation that much easier, I hope. Is there anything else, any more information you need from me? How much of an initial payment do you require?”

If you'll excuse us, it is to be countinued,

X to the O wrap around to the X and jump to the O, up in this journal,E to the A.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

My name

(I've lost that famous ego-centrism, read from someone else's journal here.)

You should also pay attention to what happened before.“Why such a cheap discount?” he asked. I knew he would hate the cost to begin with, than in response to my answer he said, “Imprisoned. I’ll take it from there.”

“I am giving you the discount because you are helping someone else, something I happen to believe in, but I do believe each kind act has only greed and self centered thoughts behind it. I won’t ask you, your real reason for seeking my services, and you don’t ask me why I am giving it to you so cheap.”

I stood, and extended my hand, waiting for the deal sealing shake.

“Fair enough,” he said, taking my hand, his skin was soft, and his grip strong, “What should I call you? I have to call you something.”

But without waiting for an answer, he began to tell me all the details, I absorbed them like a sponge.

“I’m going to need daily updates from you, even if it’s just to say to haven’t gotten a solid lead yet,” than he added, “Needless to say, this is very important to me. I’d like this handled fast and discreetly. Don’t get caught – either by the stalker or the subject.”

My name wasn’t quite important enough yet, “Listen, do you have the hologram, the one of her at the restaurant? I need to see it first.”

There was something about sliced holo-videos that I knew. Something that only slicers and spy knew about them. I also wasn’t going to comment on the discreetly thing yet, its not usually my style, that’s for sure.

He showed me the video and I watched it all very closely, than he played two extras, and I watched them closely.

“Take this and see what you can find,” he handed me a disk, not one for study he wasn’t, “Since you won’t tell me your name or give me an alias, I’ll have to give you one. I’ll call you… Ms. Sapphire.”

He watched me closely, like he was waiting for me to bite or something, “I never liked the color sapphire,” I said, “And it seems it will be rough to work with you Dante, if you don’t know my name. My name is Erifia Apoc, Jedi Knight, and Republic Spy. I’m risking a lot telling you this. So now we are even.”

I replayed the video, and there was a certain part I saw, something ever so tiny and insignificant that it would be hard to pick it out if you weren’t studying it. I “Hmm’d” as the term would be when I came to it.

A job and a stranger

(My ego-centrism has worn off, take a peek here)Wondering what's going on? You should have read.

He spoke when he saw my apprehension, “I need your services, but not those kind of services. I have a situation with an individual that requires some outside observation,” he paused looking at me.

“I’m just a simple twi’lek dancing girl,” I batted my eyelashes, “What would I know about spying on people?” I paused for a second, this may have been a trap, I needed to know if I was going to be called up on going AWOL before I told him I knew anything about anything.

“Let’s just say you come well-recommended,” he said, “Is there something I could do to convince you that I’m not a cop?”

I already knew what I wanted him to do to prove he wasn’t a cop.

“Remove the disguise, and tell me your real name, and tell me the real name of who you would have me spy on if I wasn’t a Twi’lek slave dancer,” with that said I waited to see if he would tell me or not, if he did, than he could be trusted, but if he didn’t, than he was some AWOL officer after me.

“My friends call me Dante, and the person I need your help with… her name is Lieutenant Commander Jardena R. Oneida of the GAR,” he paused for a moment, I had met Oneida on a mission once, she was very kind, very strong, “I don’t need you to spy on her, per se. I believe there is someone already spying on her, or stalking her. I need to know who that is.”

I raised my eyebrow a bit. I paused once again, given him a second to think he had blown his cover.

“I usually work for $1,500 credits an hour. Plus the cost of any of my own expenses,” I paused again to let that sink in, it was a lot of money, “But, if you are truly only looking out for Oneida, than I will cut that down to $500 credits a day. I’ll cover my own expenses.”

My lekkus all wiggled around, punishing me for taking it so cheap. I looked up to him, “And let’s just say, I find this person spying on her? Do you want him captured, imprisoned, or dead? Dead is extra.”

Monday, June 19, 2006

Freelancing

I had begun my transformation. Or at least, my first step. I told some associates of mine, to put it out that I could be found at the club, Smuggler’s Keep. It was a low life club, entertained by Twi’lek slave girls. It kept my cover at least.

One of the low life’s grabbed my leg, I responded by kicking him in the face.

“You like it rough, huh Hun?”

I knelt down close to him, and said, “Do you want to see?”

“Yes!” he screamed excited.

So, naturally I showed him the bottom of my foot. After the first two, the rest fell in line. That’s how it should be. I sighed, and I stopped dancing for a moment, that’s when I noticed a man, looking at me. Not like the others. I met his, there was a pause… He wanted me… Or I should say he needed my help… I could tell.

After I finished I went back to the changing room. There were a few knocks at the door.

“Erifia, room six.”

“Okay Rolthgar, thanks.”

I exited the changing room, I stood outside the door for thirty seconds, its good to make them wait. I examined him… He wasn’t who he seemed. Or at least, he wanted his identity kept secret.

“I hear you’re good at what you do,” he said, and coughed. Maybe my first impression was mistaken. I secretly moved my hand to my back, and rested it on my lightsaber.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Erifia back from Vacation; Contains Director's Cut footage

Oh boy do I have a story for you. Let's start with some valueable need to know information, I was denied.

1. Nabeshin's Peaceful Vacation lasts One day at a time.2. When he asked me on vacation, he only wanted me for my body, and possibly my ability to be cast in any role.3. Nabeshin isn't only a director, he is an action hero, who is constantly being hunted.

So. This is what happened, that peaceful tranquil beach scene?

Well, wow... It lasts for about five minutes, I got there, I got a drink, and I sat with it for, give or take five minutes, enjoying the sun, and relaxing. Then I heard... "There he is! Get him!"

Also, "There is the afro guy!"

Nabeshin spoke, "We got to run! Do you need a fro?"

"No! What is this?!"

We ran from these guys. He refused to let me rest or fight! Finally it was night, and we got to take a breather in a dark alley.

"Whatever you do," he whispered, "Don't die."

"Oh I don't plan on it... What kind of a vacation is this?"

"A long one, we got all of five minutes."

"There they are!"

So I ran in front of him, because frankly, if he didn't want me to fight, he could get himself shot.

"We've got to get more screen time before we can fight!"

"I'm the main character!"

"Not here you're not, that blonde girl is!"

He ran past her, and my whole of reality came crashing down, I was the main character, I was, I was!

So these guys ignored me, and kept running after Nabeshin, past the main character.

I walked off screen.

"Get my agent. I'm not the main character... Look, up at the top, 'Erifia Apoc; No. I'm not Aayla Secura. I'm way too cool for that.' Even, look down at the bottom, on the taskbar, and up top at the title of page, it says, 'Erifia Apoc.' Who in the **** is this blonde girl. Nabeshin! What did you do? Did you get me a guest roll on your show?"

"Yeah baby."

"Shut up! I want my writer here now... He'll never put up with this!"

"We stole him from you, just like he stole us from our writer."

"So I'll go back, and he'll give you back, and I'll be the star again?!"

"Yes!"

"I'm going, see ya!"

So... Yeah, that was my vacation, there was a law suit, and counter suing, and it was a mess.

So if you'll excuse me, I need to go lay down,

Hugs and kisses,Erifia Apoc

(PS. Nabeshin, and pictures, et all (c) of Koshi Rikdo and ADV films.PSS. Any Star Wars refernces that ever appear on this blog, including Erifia Apoc herself at all, is (c) of George Lucas and Lucasarts.PSSS. Its free publicity guys. Get over it.-The Writer)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Guest Poster - Becca the Magnificant [Topic; I uhm... I don't know.]

Hello again, everyone... Okay, so some stuff has happened to me, like... Well. Erifia told me she was going to see Barriss Offee today. I don't know, it seemed weird, she seemed so angry... I thought maybe that she was going to... Like, hurt Barriss.

But they were gone for an hour or so. Meanwhile, to try and make Erifia Happy, I cleaned the ship, and made it sparkle. I don't know, I know she told me not to, but I wanted her to stop being Angry.

So, anyway, she like called the ship to her, and they were in a graveyard, I didn't hear anything, but I figured maybe she lost someone she cared for. She came in, and I was in the back with Tatooine the Tauntaun, he was a cute little guy, in a, I don't know, disturbing kind of way. But, she called me back, and told me to buckle in, and make sure that Tatooine would be okay.

We were headed to Tatooine (the planet) to help a friend of Barriss, and a companion of Erifia's, his name is Ani, or that's what Erifia called him... I don't know... I guess he was cute. But... Somehow... he seems a bit angry. Even more so than Erifia.

But back to the subject at hand, I don't know, Erifia seemed to be better. I could feel it on the ship itself. She felt, I don't know, better or like, at peace. Even for the brief second I saw her. I opened her journals, on the holo-net. I read them, or tried to read all of them. Some of them I glanced over.

She had a miserable life, its amazing she's a good person, I would have cracked.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

To the Grave

“Please, don’t make me go,” I said to Barriss… We were at the base of sea overhang, I looked up, and turned away quickly, trying to walk past Barriss.

“But you have to,” she said stepping in front of me.

I turned and looked up the hill; there were too many bad memories at the top. I couldn’t go. I could not… I began to shake. I took a very shaky step forwards.

She put her hand on my shoulder, and said softly and calmly, “I’m here for you now, just like I was that day. You must face it or it will destroy you.”

“I know…”

I began to walk up the hill, each step getting harder and harder. I could see it. At the very top, at the overlook. My sobs began to take my breath away… Tears streaked from my eyes as I took the next step, my legs became week, it was even closer, this was the closest I had ever been, “Barriss,” I said as I became wobbly.

She gave me a hug, it was not often I ever received a hug, and this one calmed me down, it was very odd how much it did, “It’s okay, I’m here with you.”

I took a few more sturdy steps forward. Memories, one I repressed for so long, came back, filling my head, but I ran forward, I had to make it. I had to make it there before I collapsed. I fell only steps before his grave my knees giving out from the weight of my anger, hatred and sorrow.

I reached out and ran my fingers along the lettering, ‘Jedi Master Gerith Gwin, Friend, Master and Father.’ I began to cry, “Barriss… Its all my fault…”

She put her hand on my shoulder again, it felt nice to have someone with me, “No, Erifia, it’s not your fault. Each life and each death is all part of the force…” I felt her tears hit my shoulder.

“I was too weak,” I said, “I couldn’t fight off the infection… I didn’t know…”

The painful memories flooded from my eyes, “He was my friend, he was my master, and he was the only family I ever had…” I gulped choking back my voice…

“You were not weak, Erifia,” she said, as she wiped away my un-ending tears, “At the time, you were not trained as a healer,” she hugged me again, I calmed a little, “I’ve always thought of you as a sister.”

I turned away from it, and I wrapped my arms around Barriss and hugged her as tightly as I could, “But… But…” I began to sob on her shoulder, “But my body gave up, its all my fault, I killed my master…”

My arms became weak, I began to slide back down to my knees, and I buried my face in my hands.

“Oh Erifia,” she said as she sat next to me, “Your body may have given up, but you are not at fault for his death nor did you kill him.”

“But, he could have blocked,” Erifia had relapsed, “I threw it at Aayla… I did, she was there… He… He… Its not my fault… Its Aayla’s fault… She made me sick… She cut me… I didn’t see him… I saw her… And…”

Erifia began to hyperventilate, “I… It wasn’t my fault… I… My… She was there… Barriss, you believe me, I threw it at Aayla… You believe me right?”

“Yes, Erifia I do believe you,” she said.

It shocked me into waking, “You believe me?” I asked, “Actually believe me?” She was rubbing my back, and I hadn’t even noticed.

She looked me in the eyes, and with whole truth contained there-in spoke, “Yes, Erifia, I do believe you.”

“But I did do it… didn’t I?” I asked, “I did kill him. He has to hate me too…”

“No Erifia, you didn’t kill him,” she stated, “He could never hate you, he was your master…”

“But I threw my saber, and even if I thought it was Aayla, it hit him…” I said, trying to come at terms, and find a way to stop blaming myself, “Accident?” I asked, making sure that was an okay conclusion.

“Yes, Erifia it was an accident,” Barriss said, “But what happened here was more than just accident, it was the will of the force.”

“Yes…” I said, “I think it was… Thank you, so much. You’ve always been there for me, and it must seem like I hate you sometimes, I’m sorry, you’re my closest friend.”

“You’re welcome Erifia. It’s alright, I let your hate roll off my back because I knew that you needed me,” she said.

“I do care for you, and I care for you a lot. I’m sorry, I understand I am pretty impossible to deal with,” I smiled, for the first time in forever, “Do you think he would be proud of me?”

“And I care for you. There’s no need to be sorry for grief, it’s natural,” she said with a smile, and she looked me in the eyes, “Yes, I do feel that he’d be very proud of you.”

I sighed and leaned backwards. I dropped two sabers from my lekkus, the two I had claimed from that one droid, I placed them on top of his stone, “I hope these two will make up for your one,” I said speaking to the stone as if he was really there, “Its saved me a lot… And…” a subtle tear dropped from my eyes, “Thanks.”

I looked at Barriss, “I think I’m ready to go.”

She took my hand and squeezed it, “Yes lets go.”

“Thanks again, I owe you much. I’ll make up for it one day, I promise… I owe you my life,” I said with a smile, and hugged her, “I’ll give you a ride back to the temple?” I asked.

She gave me another hug and spoke in the caring voice she used when healing her patients, “You’re welcome Erifia, I know you will.” Then she looked worried, and said, “Not the temple, I’m needed else where.”

“Name it, I can take you anywhere as long as its not past Langoria,” I said with a smile, “And a lot quicker than you could imagine.”

She looked worried, “I need to get to a pub called Moe’s on Tatooine,” she said as her voice crackled, “Please do so, I don’t think there is much time.”

I reached back to my lekku, hit a button, and in less than ten seconds, my ship appeared in front of us, “I can have you there in an hour, maybe forty five minutes.”

The door opened, on the old bronze and rusty looking ship, “Its actually like brand new, it was built to look old.” I entered, waiting for her before I leapt to the steering wheel.

“Okay, lets go,” she said. She seemed truly upset.

I sat down at the wheel, and shot through the atmosphere, at a great speed, “Tatooine,” I told the computer, “Computed,” it responded.

“Barriss, to ease your nerve, have a seat and press the green button.”

“Are you sure you want me to push the button?” she asked.

I laughed, evilly I believe the term is, “Yes, trust me, push the green button.” I spoke in the com link, “Becca, make sure my tauntaun is okay, and buckle up.”

“Okay,” she said pressing the button.

The ship kicked in all of its thrusters, and we traveled past hyperspace, stars and meteors looked like lines, and worlds flew by so quickly.

“We’re going to be there a lot faster than I imagined. I always hit the red button before…” I laughed a little to try and lighten the mood.

She looked confused, “Are you sure it was a good idea to press the green button?”

“I’m never sure it’s a good idea to do anything,” I responded, as the slip slowed down, and began to shake violently, “See?” I asked, “We’re here already. Mos Eisley?”

I looked down at Tatooine, it had been awhile.

“Somehow I know that to be true, but not about you,” she said.

I could see she was worried about my raggedety looking ship crashing down to the surface, but I pulled up, and we were inside the atmosphere, “Ship, Moe’s.” The ship piloted itself towards the little pub, I landed it in a nearby ship port, and opened the door.

“You’re in a hurry,” I said, “Let’s go.”

She was coming slowly, she was talking to someone, and so I lead her, the pub was right in front of us. I opened up the door, and looked inside.

“Barriss, come to, who is here, who needs help?”

“Erifia, it’s Anakin who needs his help. But his thoughts are confusing, something about Kirss and missing. I’m not sure.” She said.

Inside the bar, I felt, I found him, he was in one of the back rooms. I walked to it, leading Barriss through a barfight, and then I arrived at the other side, and opened the door, there was Anakin.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Extra chores, and good food; Something is wrong.

I have a new sidekick, she's very nice, albeit a little annoying with her catch phrase. I just noticed after an amount of time, let's just say, a week, that Becca the Magnificant, was doing extra things.

By extra things, I mean, her normal chores are to make sure the ship isn't dirty, to keep it stocked with food, and to take any calls I get, and tell them, I'm not on the ship. But not only has she done that she tunes the engine up, makes sure the outside it spotless, and she even cooks every night.

Now, I appreciate what she's doing, but I would never even request her do that, those are the things that I do. Her meals were really good to.

"Becca," I said, "Why have you been doing all these extra things for me?"

"Because... I don't know... I just want you to be happy..."

"Who says I'm not happy!"

"You just yelled at me."

"What?"

"You just yelled at me. You screamed, 'Who says I'm not happy.'"

I frowned, and I thought about it and I had. I sat down on the nearby chair, and I looked up at her.

"Becca, you don't have to do any of my chores, okay? Please don't..."

"Okay," she said, and she started to walk away, then she turned, "Why are you so angry?"

I closed my eyes. I closed them tight and held them shut. I thought about everything that had happened to me in my life... I had a right to be angry... But I really needed to release it all, I could not fall into the dark side.

"Becca, I can never, ever tell anyone," I said, standing up, "Never. But I know who does know, her name is Barriss, Master Yoda, is the only other person who knows. But you'll never find him."

I stood, and I kept my eyes closed, and I used the force to feel my way back to Tatooine's room. Once inside, the little guy came forward, and I opened my eyes, he was getting so big, soon he would be able to be ridden. He rubbed his head against my side, and I began to pet him.

I heard Becca activate the holo-com.

Tears streaked down my cheek, and I knelt down and hugged Tatooine. It felt good. It felt good to cry.

I sobbed, I cried... I've been doing a lot of that lately... I felt lost...

Becca knocked on the door, and I wiped my tears away, and said, "Come in."

There were no tears in my eyes when she came, but sadness drew on my face.

"She told me..." I choked and swallowed, "She told me, that if I was going to find out, that you were going to tell me."

"I can't..." I said, "Look, I have to go, the republic has given me total freedom to take up any missions I so pleased, but if they needed me, I would have to go back... But today, I'm working a somewhere..."

Friday, June 09, 2006

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Hello, my name is Erifia Apoc. I am a Jedi Knight. On top of that, I am one of the Republic's best spies. Since I've began keeping this journal, things have become worse, and better countless times. I've been hurt, I've been healed.

Right now and since the beginning, I have Denied the rules of the Jedi order to restrict emotions. Many have questioned why I do this. I have answered, and I will answer again, for those not paying attention. If you restrict your emotions, than eventually they will overwhelm you, and you give into them.

Anger, is one of them. Aayla Secura has been angry with me since I was three, and for a time, she gave into the dark side of the force. I am angry with her, and guess what, I've never hid it. It is healthy, my hate and anger for her. It keeps me from going to the dark side.

I have kept myself alive. Its me against the universe, those who are my friends, know who you are, and I do honestly care for you. But everyday, I wonder if you would ever compromise our friendship for your own gains, use it as a bargaining chip. I understand if you do, its our nature. Anyone with a soul therefore has weakness. I accept it. Honestly...

Recently, I was told to go to a place called Langoria. Langoria's people had been destroyed for some time. I came up with a theory, its weak, but it shows you how I think, how I feel. The Langorian Government, in its quest for power and glory, destroyed the very people who put them there. Its somewhat depressing, if you think of it. I have, long and hard. Somehow I don't quite trust my bosses as much as I should. There is something off. They have been hiding something, and since I am on their side, I can't delve into it.

I have decided, that unless it is a mission that involves saving whole planets, helping innocent people, or sabatoging enemy plans or ships, that I refuse to gather more information. They must accept this. Should they not, then they will lose me forever. It may not seem like a good plan, but it is. I have listened to them unconditionally. I've been their puppy. The one who does as told, and questions nothing they tell me to do. Its over now... Now I will question each thing they tell me to do. If I don't hear the answers I like, I will feign illness, or say the temple needs me.

I am rich. I've got an astounding amount of money. I would never ever gloat, or shove it in a person's face. That's not my style. I am hoarding it for retirement. And to have fun with it when I please. Maybe, if I have a child one day, that child will benefit from my hoarding of money.

I'm sorry I've been going off on some wild tangent, but going to Langoria and almost getting stranded there, it made me think. Think about life.

So, I've come to the conclusion I am going to pick and choose what missions I accept, maybe even get a little buisness on the side... Maybe hit up early retirement. I hope so... It would be so nice to retire when I'm thirty in eight years.

Besides, being a single mother (of a tauntaun) is kind of rough, especially when the child eats as much as Tatooine does.

If you'll excuse me, I need to work on my life a bit,

Hugs and Kisses,Erifia Apoc.

PS. Why did I pick the five stages of acceptance for a title? Because, When I was a child, I denied who I was, then I was angry at Aayla for hating who I had become, when I was a padawan I tried bargaining to become better than what I thought I was, then during the late years of being a padawan, I was depressed a lot, finally, now that I am a jedi-knight, I accepted myself, and I accepted the universe's habit of sucking.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Little Comments...

Okay, so today is the worst day, there could possibly be. Everything done today is leading up to something potentially worse. Why is that? Its because It is The Sixth Day, of the Sixth Month, of The Sixth year. That's right. Bad news.

So instead of writing in my journal something potentially doomed to failure anyway, I decided to try something a bit different.

Sometimes its confusing: Republic Leader's Thoughts, that is.

I had a disturbing dream, right before I landed on Coruscant to meet with my boss, Chancellor Palpatine.

It was very quick pictures... But overall it looked like this...

My little red gun, was going to be used in a super weapon... That's all... He was going to use my little red gun as a super weapon...

I sat up... I felt the souls of all those on that planet weighing on me. I looked at the gun, I withdrew the energy cell. I hid it in my room. He could have the gun, but the energy cell was irreplaceable. I slow reached in and withdrew the converter, that way he could not design a way for it to use energy quickly and efficently, it would take billions of credits worth of energy to fire it only once.

I landed the ship, and walked slowly into the building. I felt bad... But if I went to prison, I could not help people against the droids... My reports saved millions of lives... It was a delimma...

I opened the door.

"Who do you think you are?" I yelled at him, "Langoria!"

"Ahh, Agent 357... I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Shut up, and listen to me. What did you have me sent there for? You don't care about Langoria, there was a reason. There was something you didn't want me to know."

"You're right, you caught me, I wanted you gone because we were working on getting a CIS agent over to our side. Had you been there, you'd have stopped him, and destroyed his whole army, at any endangerment of the Republic. You're a good agent, too good."

I was flattered, but I was still upset, "No, you sent me to some force-forsaken planet, with an asteroid belt around it, I wrecked, and nearly died. I searched the whole planet and all I found was this."

I handed him the red gun.

"What is it?"

"Its a gun, supposidly it caused the end of Langoria. I destroyed the supermachine it was to go with, and unfourtinatly it was half destroyed in the retrieval."

"Interesting... I have a project this could work very nicely for..."

Thoughts of the planet being destroyed came to my head. I would warn the entire galaxy if this project were to be made underway.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment Erifia."

He stood and walked out of the room. I searched all over the room, and I found it... a folder containing some sort of diskette. I thought quickly, and I placed it in the only place I knew it would be safe. Down my bikini bottoms on my hip.

"Thank you, I've realized I cannot pay you the original amount. Forgive me. But I can give you this, a liscense to kill, and diplomatic immunity, along with $1 Billion Credits."

I didn't act excited but I was. The Immunity meant in any world, I could not be touched for any broken laws, and the other was self explanitory.

"Yes, I'll take it... Thank you."

I took the two cards, and he transfered the credits to my name.

I left him. After I had exited the room, I rushed to my ship.

This diskette was important... and I needed it to be placed somewhere where it would be safe...

Very safe...

Now I was a rich girl too...

New ship, secret plans, rich girl...

If you'll excuse me, I've got to go pick up my tauntaun and get a nice hot bath, not necesarily in that order.

Hugs and kisses,Erifia Apoc.

PS. I sent them to a contact of mine, to keep. Maybe one day, they will be useful... Through Damnation I acheived Salvation. Or at least, I hope the force sees it that way.

One word for you. Nothing. Nothing anywhere. I sat down, and I buried my face in my knees. There had to be somewhere I didn't look.

I stood, and countinued my trek. On and on I would go. Until I found what I needed.

I eventually arrived back at my ship. When I did, I went in and ate a small meal. If I ate more, I would never be able to survive, not on what little I did have. I walked outside, and I looked around... My bread dropped from my mouth.

But no, like always, I catch everything except the last bit of information.

I walked into the big scary building, and it was abandoned like everything else around it. Inside it was large and empty. There were plenty of books, and even chairs. I was shocked. I walked around, and I found a book, I pulled it, and the bookcase swung around, and pushed me down a flight of stairs

When I arrived at the bottom (A long, long painful trip down.) I screamed. There was some sort of a ship. It was made of reddish metal. It almost looked rusty and broken down, but the metal was supposed to look that way. Its guns, looked dirty and clogged, but they weren't. They were very similar to the one I had found. When I entered it, it was amazing. It was the most complex piece of machinery I had ever had the pleasure to see. It was amazing.

I'm not going to lie, I screamed like a giddy little girl. I ran around, looking at everything. Its shield system was ten times as powerful as my old one. Its weapons system included seeking missles. And though my old ship could beat lightspeed by ten lightyears per hour, this one was designed to resist the photons released by any light coming off of it, and it could travel nearly a hundred light years faster than my old ship.

I laid down. Needless to say, I kissed it.

It also had two extra fuel tanks, and with todays prices, it would be nice not to have to worry about getting fuel at every expensive station. It was full too.

Someone was being very kind to me.

Too kind... I checked everything, I scanned it for any bombs. Nothing. I opened its CD drive, and loaded in my ship's cd. There was a lot of sounds being made.

"Eee...rifia... Wait... A half hour..."

That was enough time to run and get all of my personal belongings, and that gun. Which I did. When I came back, I unpacked everything, and it was done.

It was cozy, this ship. I kissed it again.

"Ship, let's get out of here."

I grabbed the wheel, and I pushed the gas, and I flew out.

It handled like a dream. I kicked it into its hyper, hyper space, and I zipped home...

Now, I would only hav to confront Chancellor. Hopefully he will be pleased with my findings...

But he's not getting my new ship.

If you'll excuse me, like I said, I have to go yell at the Chancellor,

Star Wars and all related characters are trademarks of Lucasfilm Ltd. This site is intended as a parody. As such, use of copyrighted and trademarked images is allowed under Fair Use. Erifia Apoc, Becca the Magnificant and Tatooine the Tauntaun, are all characters made by the author, using some Lucasfilm Ltd. Ideas.