Memoirs of a London Sket- Rochelle Whitely rochellesket@hotmail.com

Some names in these partly factual memoirs have been changed to protect the identity of the original Rochelle Sket and those who are currently incarcerated or deceased. As well as names, some dates and cultural references have been altered to protect the identity of those involved in the memoirs who may wish to remain annonymous due to defamotory claims made by the story.
Copyright 2009.
Chapter 1 is Dear Diary Primark Puss (MAY)

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Monday, 11 January 2010

I looked at her and she gave me one look."we need to get out of here- its gonna burn- the whole fing is gonna burn," i screamed.then she said, "you're not suprised to see me."i punched her and tried to run past, but she pulled me by hair and threw me on the stairs.i knew i wouldnt have the stregnth to fight. "i went to pen for you you dumb bitch- faking like you were dead, now everyone knows about you and O'mara, i'm out- me kieran and rico are out."and then i thort about michelle and i looked up at her and said, "kill me monique- im tired of all this."then she punched my face, she was crazy, it was like she culdnt even smell the fire, all of a sudden i heard a ping and i knew it was her BlackBerry, she ignored it and headbutted me. "dont ever fucking tell me what to do," she said, "there's ambulances, fire brigades and police outside and they're gonna come in to find ur dead body on these stairs- who else is up there?".

"I'm never gonna stop making you pay for making daniel do what he did to kieran- dirty chich, how you lied to daniel about kieran being gay- this is what caused all of this u hoe." then she screamed and smacked me in the pussy.

i didnt say nuthin, she spat in my face and kicked me in the forehead, all of a sudden i heard glass smashing and bare noise coming from outside and then i saw the fear in Monique's face and then she laughed. she pulled out a rope from her backpocket and punched me about, then kicked me in the pussy. she tied up my hands and feet, i tried to fight her off but i was too tired and then when i wasnt able to move, she looked at me and said, "now you can bun in the same way we're gonna make that chichi man ladyboy antoinette bun."then she ran off.and then i felt bare heat, and i could smell fire and then i could feel the heat in my chest and then i felt myself burning. i was burning and i could feel it tearing me up.

Michelle:I looked up at the burning building and cried, i was in the back of the police car with a police lady who was holding my hand. "michelle i need you to think," she said, "how many people are in the building," and i looked up at it and the way it was burning and the way i could see rochelle burning in my head and i said, "they're gonna die,"and the police lady said, "michelle- who was in the building with you."and then i looked at her and said, "wheres my mum?", i wiped my eyes and she looked at me and said nothing and put my head to her chest and said, "you're going to be alright- we'll find someone to look after you."and then i knew what she meant and i pulled myself away from her and looked up at the building and said, "it was me,my dad and nomi."the police lady looked at me and asked me to repeat myself."me, my dad and....nomi.""and thats it.""yeah," i said, then i saw her rush out of the car and speak to another police guy who was trying to stop people from getting too close to the fire and then i started to wish rochelle was burning slowly and that the fire was eating her alive because it was her who started all of this.and then i saw a man walk over to the police lady and show her a card and then she walked over to me and and opened the door, "michelle- this man is going to take you to a warm place, alright- he's a social worker and will make sure you're alright and in the morning i'll come and see you."

"but i dont wanna go," i said,"i need to stay to see if roch-" and then i stopped, i didnt want to see if rochelle was alive or not, dat hoe was dead to me and so i got out of the car and the black man said hello.he said something to the police lady and signed something and took me to a car, he opened the door for me and put me in the backseat.i sat there sobbing,"its alright," the man said getting into the drivers seat.he took off his blazer and was wearing a black t-shirt and on his arm was a tatoo.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

I could see from the way tripi was holding the strap that she didnt know what she was doin, so wiv all my might i kicked it out of her hand. Nomi jumped on her and them two started wrestling as i ran to michelle. I could hear fire engines and could smell smoke.I put Michelle on my back but i fell to the ground,my back was fucked up and i was feelin a dirty pain in my head. i could feel my nose bleeding, michelle screamed and called my name."michelle go now!," i said, "i can hear fire engines, run down and if u see fire duss the other way."michelle kissed my head and ran passed nomi and tripti fighting to get the gun.i tried to get up slowly but everytime i did i fell.i saw nomi kick Tripti in the face.then i could smell the fire.I got up slowly and wipe the blood off of my nose."we have to get out of here," i said.Nomi picked up the gun and held it at Tripti."Nomi don't do it," i said."whats the fucking point?!,"she said, "we're gonna die anyway."then she pulled the trigger."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!".

Nomi fell to the floor.I screamed, it was dad- his face was burnt up, he pulled the knife out of Nomis back. Tripti walked back slowly.i looked at him, he waslimping towards me, he was naked- his skin was hangingoff him, his face looked like he had spent the summer in Tanarife.he was speaking but his mouth was too burnt, i could hear what he was saying, i started to feel dizzy- the pain in ma head was coming back. Tripti ran and picked up the gun and said, "im gonna shoot the both of you."

I looked down at Nomi, she was covered in blood, she was dead.Tripti fired two shots at her and laughed and then turned the gun at me, jus as i saw her hand get ready to shoot again,i pulled dad in front ofme.i heard the bullets pierce into his flesh and then i threw his body onto tripti. his burnt body was on top of her,she was screaming. i ran out and made my way to the stairs.i could smell the fire getting clse,i could hear the firealarms and i cld hear a man saying, "stay where u are," but i cldnt see where he was saying it from.i could hear footsteps running towards me and i thanked God, it was someone to save me.

the steps were coming towards me from down the stairs, but they sounded like heels and when it got to me, i knew it wasnt a man but a chick."You didn't think you'd see me again."It was Monique.Monique.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

The Indian girl had her hand around my neck."Ur fuckin spot on Nomi," she said lookin at the lift which was only on the floor that we were on by a quarter, "its tripti."

I looked up at her and started crying, she slapped me."leave her alone!", i heard rochelle say."nah nah it cant be- ur dead-," i heard nomi say, "youre supposed to be dead."then the indian girl picked me up and sat me on a chair and mouthed, "stay here."then she said, "rochelle's supposed to be dead too- but tru say shes lying right there nexr to you- u lot must be fucked up by now- that mustve been a nasty fall."

When the lift had sped down, it stopped halfway and was in between floors and i felt hands pull me out, it was this tripti girl."You think rochelles the only one they hooked up," she said.i heard rochelle say, "dont hurt michelle."then tripti laughed, "you sound EXACTLY how i thought you would- i heard you're a boom ting- if we were in different circumstances me u and nomi could have had a group ting- but den again she IS your half sister- so thats kinda rank."

i was cryin- i was so cold and i could smell smoke- we were on the 10th floor i think and i i think that fire had died out by the time it reached the fifteenth floor cos i couldnt feel its heat anymore.

"You set me up Nomi- faisal and his boys raped me, fucked me up and left me for dead- i woke up in some ditch gettin my tits nibbled on by some perveted fish- i walked all the way to the police station and when i got there that James guy was there and i told him everything about how corrupt Omara was, about how rochelle was still alive- bout how faisal and his man set me up- and you know what he did- he called in some head of the force and they told me to hide- get a new identity cos they wanted faisal and his boys for pen so that Omara would be forced to try and help them and when he did that would be their evidence to arrest him for corruption BUT YOU TOLD THEM THAT GAVIN MIGHT HAVE DONE it- and when he couldnt give an alibi they had to arrest him and THAT FUCKING BITCH Sandra said he had violent tendencies."

i could hear nomi whimpering.

tripti continued, "and so there was nuthin they could do- ive been living in bengal in some womens shelter all this time and my family- family wanted to bury me- to see my body but the feds had to lie," she started sobbing then, "they had to say my body was so fucked up that they wouldnt wanna see it- and then do u know what happened Nomi- my nan had a heartattack."tripti fell to the floor and started bawlin, "she had a heartattack when they showed her the body of some other indian chick who some guy had mutilated- and she throt- my whole family thort it was me and my nan died on the spot- her heart gave in BECAUSE YOU set me up."

"why are you back?".

"which one of u hoes said that," tripti said."me," rochelle said, "why the fuck are you back?"

"ask your friend James- i came to a deal with the feds- they said that i can come back and say i went missing and that it was their mistake for finding the wrong body- i can go back to my family and Gavin will get out as long as I testify against O'mara and tell the court that you're still alive- James set this whole thing up."

"He wouldn't have," rochelled screamed.

"dum bitch- whyd u think he let you come back- people have seen you rochelle-uve been on cctv- the people who set up your new identity are the corrupt ones in the feds- they're not allowed to do what they did- its against the law to fake your own death- and thats what they helped you do."

"but if u testify- monique, kieran and rico will get let out of pen- so would Gavin,"nomi said.

"You catch on fast," Tripti laughed. "Is he up there?", she said looking at me.

"leave her the fuck alone," i heard rochelle say.tripti walked over to the lift button and pressed the button. the lift slowly came down and i could see rochelle and nomi standin there side by side covered in blood and bruises.

nomi started bawlin when she saw tripti and her eyes were sayin sorry. "how did u get here," rochelle asked."i followed nomi here- when they kidnapped her from your dutty nans house- i followed- i was originally gonna run up in the house and fuck you up nomi but them guys beat me to it."

the lift jerked.rochelle and nomi tried to jump out but tripti pulled out a strap."stay in the lift," she said."its gonna break and kill dem!," i screamed."thats the point," tripti said, "thats the fucking point."

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Black.I opened my eyes and all i could see was black and then i could taste the color red and feel it all over my eyes, i couldnt move my arm but i could move ma head and so i tried my best to see where michelle was. i couldnt see her."michelle," i called.i heard a groan, but it wasn't michelles."rochelle," i heard nomi say."what happened," i said, i looked and saw nomi standin up, she grabbed my hand to help me."aaaah," i screamed, "i fink my arms broken."my eyes were jus seein red."rochelle- ur eyes a red up,"she said cryin, "i feel like we're floatin.""where's michelle," i asked."i dont know where she is," nomi said, "i- i cant see her- rochelle- we're floatin.""what do you mean?".then i saw what she meant.the lift was half on one floor and half of the other and so a small section of the lift was lettin me see the top of the other floor. the lift hadnt completely snapped.

then i heard voices and then i heard michelle scream from outside."MICHELLE.""Rochelle help!".then i heard a voice say "shut the fuck up."nomi got on the floor and me and her were trying to see as much as we could from the bottom of the lift and i saw heels."the fire hasn't gotten here yet," nomi whispered.i nodded, "Whoevers out there- please don't hurt michelle.""shut the hell up,"the voice said.and then i looked at nomi and she was shakin and shiverin.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

I looked at her."He has Aids Nomi- and hes fucked u."she looked at me and said nuthin. "ur chattin shit."i looked at michelle.then nomi looked at michelle and then looked at me, "tell me ur chattin rochelle or i'll kill her."Then i stood up in front of michelle whose body was restin against the lift."what did u say nomi," i asked, "ur gona kill michelle."i punched her."i did someresearch on him-hes hiv positive- he caught it from inside- why the fuck did u think i kept saying dont scream- he can only get a boner when he hears girls screamin."i saw a tear roll down her eye."u knew all dis time?".

i nodded, "so even if we make it out of here- ur gonna die."nomi wiped her tears and nodded.she walked to the other side of the lift and den said, "so ur sayin ive got hiv."

i looked at her, i could see the sweat running down her face.then she lunged for michelle- i jus had to flykick that bitch back to the other side of the lift."u tried to hurt my sister bitch."

i grabbed her hair and slammed her head into the lift door."didnt i warn u about what would happen if u tried to hurt michelle- didnt u hear about what happened to sherice and daniel when they tried to hurt the twins, u didnt hear about it bitch?!"

she kicked me in the stomach screamin and shoutin, she grabbed me by neck and tried to flip me over her head but i floored her.the lift jerked back and forth, it started gettin hot."rochelle,"i looked to see michelle wakin up.i ran to her."ROCHELLE!", Nomi screamed.The lift cord snapped.The lift doors smashed open.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

I shut the lift door quick and stumbled back. i could tears rollin down rochelles face."what did it look like," she said."the cord is gonna snap," i said holdin back tears, "we're not gonna make it out of here,"she looked at michelle who was still unconcious and said, "nomi-im sorry."i said, "its kl- dats not even important.""no nomi- you have to know something."I looked at her and said, "i dont wana know- we're gonna die anyway."she put her eyes to michelle and stroked michelles hair.the heat was comin into the lift and it was jerkin from side to side, when i had looked i could see hw big dis tower block really was- it was more like an office building."Rochelle- do u think we're gonna go to he-""it doesnt matter where we go nomi, " she said lookin at michelle, "you and me have been in hell since the day we were born."

the lift was swayin and i started bawlin.i heard the cord snap a bit."nomi- i need to tell you sumthin," she said, "i didnt want to tell u at first but now u have to know."

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

I gave her one look.I know this sket wasn't tryna blame me for her sketitrocities."What did you say?"She stood up and came up in ma face, "It's your fault we're in this mess cos u told shirley i was alive."

"U need to come out my face rochelle," i said gently pushing her back,then i said, "If you weren't such a dutty sket none of this shit would be happening- you might as well tatoo the map of the london underground on you cos like the circle line your pussies been everywhere."

she boxed me.I grabbed her hand and slammed her against the other side of the lift bein careful not to hurt michelle, then i boxed her back."I ain't sherice y'nah- I will fuck u up rochelle."

She wiped the blood from her mouf and said, "so u know about sherice do you- then u know what happened to her AND daniel when they tried to come for me."

"Sherice was an overweight sket and daniel was some down low chichi pussy o- dont compare me to dem because i will fuck a bitch up sweet and gnarly trus'".

She could see i wasnt jokin.

"talk to me like that one more time nomi," she said."talk to you like what?"."talk to me like dat one more time," she said."like when i called you a dutty skank."how can my girl flykick me in the stomach, i fell to the ground- i felt my stabwoundbleed a bit. she saw the blood, i slowly stood up. "Your pussys seen more dick than a public urinal," i said.as she walked over to me to punch me, i kicked her in the stomach and slammed her head against the wall, she fell on michelle who coughed and then went back to bein unconcious.

"There's something uno should know about michelles dad, he has-," she said. before she could finish speakin i threw my shoe at her.

me and her started scuffin in dat tiny ass lift.she picked me up and threw me against the side and the kicked me as i slid down. I leapt back up and backhanded the bitch about 8 times, then she started chokin me, "you fucked ur own mums man and u wanna try blame me," i shouted, i kicked her back."you set up your own girl to be killed," she replied."you killed your own girl.""self defence.""i hope youve got lots of it cos im about to teach you a lesson."i punched her six times and then said, "you even got fucked by a dog- how do you feel?".she headbutted me and then punched me in the pussy so hard she winded me. i fell back, then she started kickin the shit out of me and then put her foot on my neck, "I've killed bitches before Nomi- dont think I won't kill you."

"you couldnt," i said, "not with michelle here."suddenly she looked up, "did u hear that?", "hear what," i asked.before she could speak, we were zoomin down, our bodies were forced to the top of the lift, we were screamin and den it stopped."one of the cords snapped," she said lookin worried, "help me open the lift door.""you're fuckin nuts," i said.then i got up and fell to the ground, i could feel the stab wound from faisals knife slowly openin up but i didnt say anythin, she was tryin to open the lift door."you can't do it, its too heavy," i said.

"then fuckin help me," she screamed. michelle coughed."whats goinon," she cried.rochelle ran to her and hugged her, "michelle speakto me are u ok.""i feel so sick inside," she said, "like its hard to breathe- where are we?".rochelle started bawlin."we're gonna be ok," i said lookin at michelle.then i stood up and slowly pulled open the lift door.Fire everywhere.

i poked my head out of the lift and looked up.the fire eating at the lift cords."we're gonna die," i said, "we're gonna die."

Friday, 4 December 2009

When he grabbed my neck, I tried to fight him off but he jumped into the lift, rochelle put michelle on the floor of the lift and me and her were fighting him, rochelle headbutted him and i kicked him whilst pressing bare buttons on the lift, he fell back into the fire and we watched as his dutty perverted body caught the flames as the lift door closed.i turned to rochelle and huggedher crying as the lift went up. "what are we gonna do?", i asked."the fire cant have reached the top floor yet- when we get up there- call the ambulance.""but you- what if they see you," i said."dont matter anymore- the longer we wait- the more chance michelle dies- i fink she inhaled the smoke."Then the made a weird nose and stopped.rochelle gave me an "oh shit" look, it had jammed."did u press bare buttons," she asked.i lied and shook my head. "we're locked in," she said.I was about to press another button and she said "stop."so i did.she fell to the ground and held michelle to her breasts.

I looked at her, suddenly my phone rang, my ringtone was Dotstar Dirty bass it was witheld number, "you had a phone all dis time."i answered the phone, then the person put the fone down. "this phone wasnt workin before- he smashed it when he took me from shirleys house."

i sat on the ground next to her."what did he to do her," i asked.I looked at her and started cryin, "he and his man ran up in her yard and beat her up- they erm- when they pulled me out of the house- i saw her body on the floor- and he was kickin her then they threw me in the boot."I nodded and wiped a tear from my eye."rochelle- can i ask you a question?", i said. she looked at me, "why did u come back?".

she looked at me and said, "i wanted to make gavin give sandra a divorce- when O'mara got put inside for workin with that faisal guy after darren and his man killed bare of them arab man- the MET sent me James to replace O'mara and i begged him to let me come back just for a bit to see gavin- to make him give sandra a divorce so she could get some dough off him- it was the least she deserved after all he did to her- fucking that asian chick- killing that asian chi-"then she looked at me, "what did he mean when he said you killed tripti," she asked.

i said nuthin for abit and said, "he was chattin shit- uno hes mad." she nodded, then i looked at michelle, "will she okay?", i said."i fink she's just knocked out,"she said, "all i wanted is to show her that what happened to her didnt have to define her future."she looked at me, "that bastard hurt her in the same way he hurt me- and because of the tings he did and that my mum and nan let him do i did fings that has led to all this shit- and i couldnt let michelle do the same- i wanted to be her role model- i wanted her to see me going to college- get my alevels- going to uni- falling in love- having fun and know that i was like her once and that she could be like me if she jus believed, but they wouldnt let that happen- them hoodrats wouldnt let that happen."

then she held michelle closer to her chest, "this city is fucked up- these kids dont see anyfin wrong wiv killin themselves- they dont know how sick what theyre doing is- they dont see that they aint gonna be young forever- that one day theyre goin to look on the tv and see that girl that they called a hoe become the CEO of some big company or see the guy that they called gay achieve more than they could imagine- and all i wanted was to show michelle how big this world was- how she could escape this sick part of the world with education."

tears ran down her eyes as she held michelle tighter, "you know- when i was in dat mindset- i banged up a girl for looking at me funny in west once- just for lookin at me and i fort i was so hard- i was a fuckin animal- what kind of person has it in dem to act so violentely all of a sudden- not a person at all- an animal does dat- animals walk on road wiv knives- real men- realest guys walk on road wiv fists and handle wiv that- thats how real guys sort shit out- wiv their own stregnth- these people on road fink theyll be young forever- they leave school- stay on road and fink life is sick not realizing dat all the people that actually made the effort are comfortable- dey got dere grades- got their jobs and their cool- but there aint no guarantees on the road- u fink shottin is safe- the second the feds get you all your shit is theirs but if you put a bit of effort in- pay a little more attention lesson you can escape it all- work hard to achieve REAL stuff- move your fam out of the ends- live nice- thats all i wanted, thats all i wanted to show michelle."

I looked at her and said, "we look alike."she nodded, "we have the same eyes- and nose."she smiled at me, "what was dad like."it was weird hearing her calling my dad her dad- but it was true- it was."he was a good man- every morning before nursery he would tell me the story about the hungry caterpillar and then feed me bare food- he and ma mum mustve wanted me to be fat- eggs, bacon, sausages, toast wiv bare butter."

"some any high calorie breakfast," she smiled."alie.""do you think he would haveliked me," she asked.i nodded, "you're such a beautiful person rochelle- dad liked beautiful people.""how old were they when they died.""5," i said, " i was wiv grandad rupert- when the police called and said theyre car had crashed on the motorway- it was the day before christmas eve- dey were erm goin to get me sumthin from toys r us." then i sobbed and put my head on her chest,"and when i heard they were dead- i felt a part of me die- like i wasnt anybody's anymore- dat i didnt belong to anybody anymore- and ive never stopped being that lonely rochelle- ive never stopped crying- i cry myself to sleep every night hoping that if i cry hard enough God will give me answer to why he took them away- but nothin yet- no answer yet."

She kissed the top of my head as the lift moved a bit. "we're jammed in here," i said, "what are we gonna do.""try nd use ur phone," she said.i took out the fone and tried to dial 999 but it dint work."i wonder who tried to call u," she said. i looked at her, "it was witheld number-" i said."are we gonna die," i asked her.she looked at me and sed, "we have to pray that the lif cord dont snap." i sobbed.she whispered,"we'll be ok- nomi- did you fuck jermaine?"i looked at her and said, "no- i never." i didnt like lyin2 her but i didnt want her to know i had anyfin to do wiv him gettin killed.then she said, "you know what ssk did to me innit,"i nodded, "theyre sick."i said."nomi- i dont think im alright in the head- i feel sick all of a sudden.""what do you mean?"."i feel sick because i just realized that you are the one who told shirley i was alive- you confirmed it for hers o that he would know to try and find me- i know you enjoyed fucking him- because of you we're here- and so i'm gonna fuck you up."

Saturday, 28 November 2009

The fire was all around us, Michelle was screaming as he was punching rochelle."kept screaming girls," he laughed.then he started to put the fire out with the extinguisher behind him."you bitches thought i was bluffing- nomi come with me."I looked at rochelle, she was shaking her head, he backhanded her. he walked round to me, untied me and pulled me away. michelle slowly passed out as he pulled me into a room and closed the door behind him.he locked the door.i culdnt believe that flats like these existed dat nobody lived in. "take it all off," he said.i looked at him, his chest was beating-he was sweating and i knew what i had to do."i want you so bad- i just couldnt say it in front of them," i told him, "you can do what you want to me but please allow them- me and u can be together- but we need to let them go."

"i cant," he said, "its too late.""no no, it's not," i said, "listen- we can escape from the feds- theyll be after u by now for escaping and kidnapping- if we leave now we can escape, me and you."

"prove to me you want me- that you're not lying."I could see a knife behind me from the corner of ma eye."come to me," i said.he ran to me and kissed my neck. he put his hands on ma pussy- and was rubbin it slowly, "you know ive got another daughter,"he whispered, "Sorcha." He kissed my lips and squeezed ma bum"its beena long time since i had some good pussy," he said. he licked my face and began to play with my nipples."im getting wet for you," i told him."i shouldnt t have shot you that time in the hospital, it was gavins idea."he threw me on the floor and began to unzip his jeans.then he took of ma clothes and got on top.he slowly pushed it in. AAAHHHH. he started laughin."mmmmm- dis pussy feels nice."i was groanin as he wocked me out- he was really thick and long- he was suckin ma mouth as i groaned with pleasure.his eyes were closed as i kissed his neck. he was startin2 look bare attractive as i wrapped my legs round his waist. he pushed deeper and deeper into my tight cooch. He took it out slowly and put it in my mouth, i licked the top. "you a pro," he laughed, "the guys inside cant do it like this," i sucked it all, letting it down my throat, he screamed and i could feel tear drops running down his face. "Superbrain," he said. then he climed back ontop of me with his eyes closed. grindin in my wet pussy. i could feel him getting bigger and bigger inside of me. i licked his lips as he was groaning and moaning and saying, "the best pussy in the world."it was so deep and nice that i dont think he realized there was a knife in his back until i said, "pervert."he fell on his back pushing the knife even further into him, i got dressed and ran out.rochelle said, "nomi she's unconcious."i untied them both, rochelle put michelle on her back and jus as we were about to run downstairs, we heard him stumble out. blood leaking from his mouth.he had the gun in his hand, he shot the gasoline tank and threw the lighted match on the ground.whooosh.fire.we saw him fall the ground as we tried to escape but the entrace was blocked, the fire had reached the staircase."the lift!", i said.we ran into it.the fire was gettin wilder as i tried to press the button to the ground floor.as the door was closing- a bloody hand jammed it.It was him.He grabbed my neck.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

I looked at the 9.It was the same one Faisal used to kill Jermaine. Then I looked at Rochelle and then Michelle who was cryin and den i said, "Please- what do you want from us?".den he looked at me."what did you say whore."I looked at him and sed, "You've ruined all of our lives- what do you want from us- what did we do to you."He slapped Michelle with the gun, "everytime you speak out of turn- michelle gets slapped," he said."You're pathetic," i said, "abusing both your daughters- sent to jail and your life is so meaningless that you escaped JUST to kidnap us- you beat up shirley to get to me and fucked up sandra and michelles mum to get to michelle and u stalked rochelle and beat up those innocent women at the halfway house just to get her- you're obsessed with the three of us because we're the most interesting things to happen in your perveted little life- grown man in his 40s pervin after his own daughter- grown man in his 40s hiring a group of dumb ass jamaicans to help him kidnap two teenage girls and a girl who ain't even 10 yet- he isnt going to kill us michelle- he wants us to scream and beg us to stop- because pervets like for their victims to scream."

He screamed and spat in rochelles face. "Grown man in his 40s so pathetic that he couldnt get a wife on his own so his mum had to arrange it for him- the biggest mistake my dad made was not raising rochelle as his own because if he did none of us would be here- rochelle did the things she did because of what you did- u fucking pervert- how you robbed her of her innocence and after destroying her you tried to destroy michelle- it wasnt enough that you had ruined one girls life- and then you shot me- for Gavin, some pervert who cheats on his wife with teenage girls and do you want to know you're doing all this now- why youve planned this kidnap- researched this deserted building- got the chairs and ropes ready- you want to know why? because after all thats happened to all three of us- we're still here, rochelle and michelle breathe life just as hard as I do and we're alive after all you've done to us and it makes you sick and jealous becuase you're a grown man in his 40s who doesnt know what it feels like to be a human."

Rochelle looked at me and i saw tears roll down her eyes. Michelle looked at me.then he looked at all three of us, "you think i wont kill you whores- whores like you who sleep with your mums boyfriends and who sleep with multiple boys at the same and whores like you who suck anything with a pulse- you think i can't do it."

"shut the fuck up," he said. then he slapped me and forced my mouth open. "i heard how you made that arab boy suck the gun before you shot his friend- suck on this."he hand his hand on the trigger and the 9 on my tongue.tears ran down ma eyes as i looked at him.i didnt suck it."suck it," he screamed.i shook my head."why dont you suck it," rochelle said, "dunknow you got plenty of practice in jail."he pulled the gun out of my mouth and punched rochelle."scream," he said, he was chokin her."you can only get it up when i scream," i heard her say in a choked voice.he fell back against the wall and started saying some weird shit like he was possessed.then he got up."Whores," i heard him whisper. he picked a can up from behind him. he poured it all around the floor.he took the gun and put it in his mouth.i could smell gasoline.rochelle could smell it too and michelle was shakin and cryin.he put the gun down, took out a matchbox, struck amatch and threw it to the ground.fire.we all screamed.then he pickedup the gun, placed it against Rochelles head and said, "You screamed."

Monday, 23 November 2009

The car stopped at some old building. "Get the bitches out of the boot and bring them up to the 9th floor- then you lot go and finish off that James- then come back.""What the fuck- dat wasnt part of the deal," the guy next to me said. "When do we get to fuck this bitch and the Nomi one.""When you come back," dad said.The other men looked pissed off and the one that was driving said, "alright kl."

My dad pulled me by my hair, and kicked me onto the floor. i didnt say shit, and then i looked up, i watched the guys pull Nomi out of the car, she fell to the ground and looked me in the eye, she had been crying and then i heard michelle screaming.then she saw me and she screamed my name. one of the men slapped her."Bring them bitches up," my dad said.They kicked us into the lift. Michelle looked up at me and i could see the confusion in her eyes."You see your older sister," my dad said, "she made out she was dead." then he slapped me, "but she wasn't."

Michelle looked up at me, "I wasnt talking to you," he told her, "I was talking to Nomi."Nomi looked down, she must have known as well.when we got to the ninth floor, my dad and the other guy pushed us into the hallway of the deserted building. there were three chairs with ropes around.this was planned.

Sit down. they pushed all three of this in the chair and tied us up bare tight. I didnt say shit."You can go now marvin," dad said, "kill that fuckin james guy."Marvin nodded and left.My dad looked at us, "two whores and a potential one."

Michelle couldnt stop staring at me, she started crying.I looked at Nomi, she looked high."Let us go," Michelle said, "You're a pervert."

He slapped her, "Did your mother tell you that?!- that heathen whore- sinner when I met her- sinner when I left."

Michelle looked at me and cried, "Rochelle."I looked at her and smiled. "Speak to me," she said, "can i hear your voice."

"She wont speak," dad said, "theyve trained her not to open her dutty mouth in a situation like this isnt that right princess- maybe she'll speak after i do this."

He took off his belt and pulled down his jeans and rubbed his piece in nomi's face. Michelle cried and looked away.Nomi sobbed."Nomi don't scream," I said.Everyone looked at me."what the fuck did you say whore," he said."Nomi don't scream- he can only get it up when you scream."Nomi looked at me.he slapped her and said, "if you dont scream- ill tear the hair out of your fucking head."Michelle sobbed, "you're a monster- he hurt sandra and my mum rochelle- him and his friends burst into the house and beat them up.""Shut the fuck up!", he screamed."Where are the twins?!", i cried."In Guyana- she sent them to be with her mum after she lost her baby when gavin killed that girl." Nomi looked away.He slapped Michelle."This is all your fault Rochelle- Gavin told me that you threatened him- that you were still alive and that you went to visit him to force him to give sandra a divorce- dumb bitch- Gavin was fucking friend inside- you didn't think hed tell me."

It was rainig outside, i could see my reflection in the window as he tried to kiss Nomi."scream, "he kept saying, Nomi kept her mouth shut. he punched her."Why are you doing this?", Michelle screamed."You three bitches have caused me hell- now your gonna pay."

"what did I do?!." Nomi sobbed."You didn't do shit me- but you ruined Gavin- you know he didnt kill that Tripti girl- YOU did."I looked at her, she looked up at him and said, "Lies."He punched her, I saw a tooth roll out of her mouth. she didnt scream."And you Michelle- telling everyone about our secret.""Leave her alone," I said."Or what-" he said, "I could slice your throat now for testifying against me AND for fucking your own mothers boyfriend- an african wasn't he."

Michelle couldnt stop crying."Im going to deal wiv u two for being dirty whores and im going to kill you because you're going to grow up to be like them."

"how did you get out of jail," i asked.

He laughed, "Good behaviour- Uncle Danny died so they let me come to his funeral and soi took the chance to get you whores."

Nomi cried."Scream," he told her, "I want you so bad- I've seen your pictures- I knew your dad very well before he got killed in that accident, hes the fucking bastard who rochelle's mother spread her legs open for, to think i had to raise his daughter," he looked at me, "you dont even look like him- YOU LOOK LIKE ME."

"What are you talking about," michelle asked.

"Rochelle isnt your sister because I'm not her dad- Nomi and Rochelle have the same dad, that scrawny mixraced fool."Michelled looked at me and i said, "we'll always be sisters."

"Enough talk, Michelle- who should I kill first- you pick- Rochelle or Nomi- if you dont pick I'll kill you."He pulled out his 9 and held it to her head,

Friday, 20 November 2009

I looked him dead in da eye."Dad."He pulled me out the room and punched me, i saw all the other women screamin as the men who came wiv my dad were smackin dem about ."lets go," my dad said.as he dragged me out of da house, i was expectin james to run and save me, but i looked around and the security car wasnt around.dey kicked me into da backseat. my dad sat next to me as the other guys in the car."you know where to go," he said.the car drove off.den he looked at me."You've grown up."I said nuffin- i knew dat sooner or later da car would be stopped cos i was on 24 hour surveillance, someone would save me, da only ting i wnted to know is how dis fucker was out of jail."this is the bitch," one of the guys said, he smelled of weed and hot piss.all the guys laughed."she got nice tits," one of the men squeezed dem, "oooh dey nice- you squeezed dem?"he asked my dad."she didnt have dem the last i saw her."

I siad nothing and looked straight on- i knew where we were headin."you dont seem suprised- me and my man went to all this trouble to find you, and you cant even say hello," my dad said."say hello!", the guy next to me punched me.

we were heading towards london."she tinks theyre comin to save her," the man drivin said, "she aint know that we took care off that james."i still didnt give any reaction- i was prayin in ma head james was ok.den my dad kissed my cheek violently."dont worry guys shes not even my real daughter," den he looked at me expectin me to be shocked. i didnt say shit or even have a facial expression.den i heard sumthin move in the boot."dem two bitches gonna be ok in dere?", the jamaican guy asked."they'll be fine," my dad said, den he looked at me and punched me. my face swung the other way and den i just sat back to normal again- my nose bleedin.

"dis bitch testin me," the jamaican guy said trying to pull my legs open."not yet," my dad, "we'll handle all three of them together- when we get the other two out of the boot."

"me cyarn wait to get me hands on the cooli lookin one- whats her name?".

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

I called the officer."What's wrong?", he said walking in."She said someone followed her here," I said. He looked at her."Who followed you here?", he asked getting angry."Me not saying a ting unless you pay me," she said.My face was shocked- all dat shit about lovin me was a lie. "Now Ms.Shirley- I dont like to make threats- but what we're dealing with is above the law- the police cant protect you if anything was to happen to you if anything was to happen to rochelle because of your carelessness."

"You chreatenin me boy.""You like your home?", he asked taking a seat."whatchu mean by dat?", she asked."How would you feel if your house was to be attacked by some naughty teenagers- or if you were declared mental and forced to live in some nice little institution."

Her face dropped. "You couldnt."

"We've done bigger," he said looking at me, "Rochelle is dead and if anybody finds out otherwise we'll hold you responsible- so who followed her hear."

"N-nobody," she said, "Me was jus lying- i was hurt- she was so rude to me.""Good," James said, "If we find out any differently- I'll have to carry out my promises."grandmas face was bare red and she was so shook, "someone will give you a lift to kent and we've arranged for you to catch a train backinto victoria- like I said if we discover that anybody else knows about this-."

"Shes got the message," i said.As she was escorted out by anuva officer she gave me one look and then they left. James shut the door."This was a mistake," he said, "I could kill Nomi for telling her- and you coming back was stupid as well, we put the whole thing at risk."

"I had to come back to talk to Gavin- and it was worth it- he gave Sandra her divorce."

"He was going to do it anyway."

"No he wouldn't have- I know him, thats why i had to scare him to make him do it- whens the car coming to take us to the plane."

"the flights been postponed till tommorow afternoon- so youre staying in one of the halfway houses we have for abused women- your name is..."

"Charlotte- ran away from my abusive boyfriend in London."

"Once you leave the Uk tommorow you are never to come back."

I nodded, "Ijust had to come to warn Gavin- and dat fuckin bitch Nomi." den i remembered what grandma said,i wanted to tell james but i fort allow it- she was probably lyin.

We got to the halfway house an hour laterI said hi to some of the other girls who looked like dey had been fucked up differently and went to my room. James sat me with in the room, "Darren and his little minions were sentenced today- darren got 20 years no parole- i dont know what the rest got yet im still waiting to hear from HQ."I nodded, "How's Omara's family.""They moved- they couldnt live in the house after what happened.""You really think he killed himself.""Makes sense- anyway its worked to your advantage-he would have had to confess everything about you to explain why Faisal and the rest of his guys were shot- listen I need to go- I'll be back tommorow- avoid talking to anybody for the night- you're only here till tommorow morning and ill be here to get you."

"Thanks," I said, he kissed my forehead and he left.

I locked the door when he left and lay in bed thinkin about everything- it was all my fault, if i hadnt had got daniel to set up kieran den sskwouldnt have been after me and all dis wouldnt be happenin.I lay in bed and fell asleep.BANG.I jumped up- oh shit. I heard screaming."WHERE IS CHARLOTTE?!".I ran to the phone and tried to dial james number.BANG. My door was kicked open."Here she is!"."You?!.""You better believe it princess."

Saturday, 14 November 2009

I looked at her and I could tears rollin down her eyes."You're chattin shit."

She shook her head, "Your father's dad was rupert."

I stood up and walked to the wall, the bitch kept going on, "me and rupert knew each other from back in Saint John- we were going to get married but he fell in love with this italian girl who lived in our town, they had a child- a baby boy- Nomis father- mixraced boy almost as light as light itself and so I got married to a cousin- me family saw nuthin wrong with it but i was so ashamed- so i ran away to London with me baby girl, we were safe here and she grew up and one day she brought home a boy, a mixraced boy as light as light itself- it was ruperts boy, he said rupert was here alone, his wife had died and so he was living alone with rupert- i hated the idea of gladys and rupets boys together but then she got pregnant with you and ruperts boy left her- for some girl from east africa, what we were supposed to do with you- your mudda was too stupid to raise you and i was too old, i called one of me friends from harlseden who had a son- and he agreed to marry gladys and raise you as his own- it was miracle you came out so dark because people would have asked questions- then a few years later- after ur mudda had died and i tort u had died i saw rupert and the grave yard and he told me his son and his son's wife had died in accident and dat he was raising his grandaughter alone."

"Nomi."

"I wish i had told u earlier," she cried, "So my dad isnt really my dad- it's Nomi's dad.""Yes,"she cried."Then me and michelle aren't really sisters," i said with a tear rolling down ma eye."no.""So i was abused by a man who wasnt related to me because u were too lazy to raise me alone."

"We knew he was touchin u and we knew his bruddas were too but if we said anytin- he would left ur mudda, den shed have nuttin."

"So you let a man and his family abuse me because you didnt want to be poor."

shirley sobbed as she nodded.i spat in her face."You saw all dem times i cried to you about it and u called me whore-you knew it was true.""im sorry."

"get out," i said."no no," she sobbed, "please i have nothing- ruperts dead- they want to put me in a home-u wouldnt let dem put ur own grandmudda in a home."

I looked at her and said quietly, "I'm dead- remember?".

She slowly got up."Tell them i'm ready to go on your way out- and grandma- you know what will happen to you if you tell anyone about me," i said with my eyes facing the wall.

"Rochelle," she said, I looked to her, "If u let me go- this is the last time we'll lay eyes on each odder in this life."

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

She looked at me.I didnt look at her but she kept on lookin and den i heard her say,"look at me dear."And then I looked at my nan.she looked dead in the eyes, her skin was tired but her eyes weren't. they were alive. she ran to me and hugged me and kissed my cheek and then looked up at the officers, "can we have some time alone please," i said. "your flight leaves in two hours," the first guy said and then they both left, shuttin and lockin the door behind dem."You alive.""Im sorry about Rupert," I said,"He seemed nice- I know you risked a lot coming here.""Rochelle you alive- when Nomi told me I fell to the floor and thanked God," she sobbbed, "im so sorry- im so sorry for everyting." then she looked up at me, "they said me cyarn say too much to you and dat cyarn say too much to me- and i understand but at least talk to me- i thort u were dead."

"When mum died- i came to you and you pushed me away.""I didnt know what to do- what to tink- ur mudda called me rite before he killed her and told me dat she had caught u and him- i didnt know what to say to you."

"7 years old at aunty Amanda's party- you saw my dad touch me in the kitchen- you walked past."

she hung her head down and sobbed, "im sorry."

"Now you're alone- no man- no family- alone on Black Prince road."

"I've got Nomi- and I want you- the three of us can be a family"

"Nomi will leave the second you show yourself up for da witch u r grandma."

"Please dont curse me- that girl is all i have- she can only see in one eye."

"Someone's still after her- theyre going to come for you too."

grandma looked me in the eye and said, "ive made so many mistakes in my life but none of dem compare to the mistake i made when i didnt protct you."

"Now you have Nomi- how long will it be till she gets tired of cleaning ur shit- till she remembers how much life she's missing- i heard she has a hole in her tit."

"Yes- yes she does b-but it's healing- the doctors were able to take out the bullet in time."

"Pretty pretty Nomi- the grandaughter you never had."

"please stop."

"Whoever's after her is going to get her- and then you- id love to see it."

"please stop rochelle."

"8 years old at Uncle Johnsons' funeral- you saw Uncle Danny touch me you smacked me for it."

she cried.

"You think by looking after Nomi you'd erase all the shit you allowed- do you let her bring boys back and listen to them fuck her sensless and wish it was you- mum told me about all them men u used to bring back home from work- u dont even know who my grandad is- do you? fucked so many men u couldnt even remember which one fathered mum."

Monday, 19 October 2009

BAM.I fell to da ground, i could see blood coming from my nose and ahmed standing above me with the vase in his hand.I looked up at Faisal- he punched shirley and said to ahmed, "well done bruv," then turned to shirley and said, "wheres all the money durty nigger- fuckin tell us or we'll give you a little taster of what we do to black bitches who get our dicks hard."Shirley cried looking at me and den grandad, "theres one thousand in my chest of drawers- i was savin it to go back home with rupert," she burst into tears. faisal kicked her face and ran upstairs.my head was throbbin and i was feelin light headed, i saw the gun nex to me- i tried to grab it but one of the guys stepped on my hand, took it and held it to my head, "dum bitch." my spirit could fell grandads love for me leavin- dis was all my fault- he was dead cos i had gotten involvd wiv dese animals.Faisal ran down an said, "pick up da sket and put her in the car- darrens waitin for us.""what about the gran'ma?", ahmed said. faisal looked at grandads body and den shirley,"we'll leave her to fuck her dead man," he laughed. shirley vomited, faisal laughed, ahmed picked me up and put me over his back and pushed me into the back of the whip, "shirley," i called.she crawled to grandads body and held him to her chest.Faisal disconnected all the phones and said to her, "call da police and we'll come back and finish where i started." he kicked grandads body den ran into the car.dere was two cars.i was in the back wiv ahmed and i fink some guy called Mo and Faisal was in the passenger seat and some ova guy was drivin, in the car behind us were the ova man.

i was liteheaded- i could feel blood rushin from my head and down my back."you did a dumb fing nomi- tellin darren aboutme saying i ws gonna kill him." faisal said lookin back at me and den he turned to da guy drivin and said, "take the backroutes in case people see dis bitch bleding- we dont need a routine check cos i didnt take this route to be checked."

"so youre actually gonna pay darren a grand faisal?", ahmed asked puttin his hand on ma pussy, "hell fink your a pussy."faisal said, "bruv- id rather look like a pussy on road dan a pussy in pen cos den all da guys in pen will fuck me- cos they like pussies- if he says shit about Jermaine or tripti were done for- Omara can only do so much."

grandad was dead and all i could fink of was his lifeless body in shirleys arms, i wanted to die and so i was happy as i felt my head gettin weak and my body gettin numb- dere was no point- grandad was all i had- and now he was dead cos of dese pricks. i could smell their dirt and it made me sick, God knew dat if i had a machete i would have sliced dese fuckers up- come like Sweeney Todd.I knew wherewe was headin- we were headin souf and it was a suprise to me dat dese dum fuckers didnt seem to be shook.dat prick darren had snitched- even tho i was tryin to help him and as i felt the numbness in my my head get stronger i said, "you man are gonna have to kill me."

"what did u say bitch?", faisal asked."If you man dont kill me- im going to find every single one of you and chop your fuckin balls off, you need to kill me rite nw cos if you dont ill find you and make all of you pay for what u did to my grandad."

dey all burst out laughin, "ahmed u knocked her head too hard man- shes fuckin lost it," Mo said.Ahmed hit my head, i was satin between Mo and ahmed wiv my hair over my face and blood runnin down from my nose and head."you don't get it do you," i said, "you lot have killed de only person i had left- and so when if you dont kill me now- i'll get u," i turned to ahmed and said, "ill cut your tits off," then turned to mo and said, "i'll cut your black toes off," den i looked to da driver and said, " i dont know u," den i turned to faisal and said, "im gonna come 2 ur yard and fuck u up so bad ull die with ur mouth wide open and den ill fry sausages put dem in ur mouth and den stitch ur mouth closed."

Ahmed gave me one dirty box, "PORK IS FORBIDDEN."I looked up and licked da blood from my lip, "thats rich coming from you fatty.""dis bitch is pissin me off man!," mo said, "come we give her what shes askin for.""we have to meet darren in half an hour," faisal said, "we'll deal wiv her whn we're done."

we got to some old garage, it was old and grey and deserted. the man behind us arrived as well. den darren walked over to the car, faisal rolled down the window."kl bruv," he said to darren. darren nodded at all of us and shook his head at me."you brought da sket?".Faisal said, "we brought her as a peace offering,"Darren shook his hand, "got about 20 man inside who wanna fuck dis hoe."everyone laughed, "should be fun," faisal said."Come inside," darren said.they all got out of the car, ahmed grabbed me and pulled me out. i was dragged by my hair into the garage.it smelled of weed.there were so many guys- about 50 guys jus watchin.all of dem nodded at faisal and his boys. darren said, "we got some drinks- help yourselves innit," then he turned to the 50 guys and said, "dese man are gonna be our boys now innit- beef is squashed everyone introduceyourself."the guys got up and started chattin to faisal and his man whilst darren looked at me and said, "you told me u didnt know where shawna went u fuckin liar- quebec innit- she told me u knew- shes comin back to me."i said nuthin.den he called faisal over."bruv- i dont even want the grand yahno- i wanted 2 c if i cld trust u," darren said, "i was never gonna snitch- why would I- Jermaine was an informer snitchin on my cousins- you did me a favour by duppying him, haha- faisal i like you man- dis is why its important us lot are cool- fink about it- tink how big we can be in a few years time- ive got all da affiliates of ssk and uve got all da arabs- we're unstoppable bruv."

faisal spudded him, darren continued, "we need to start sumtin big so when were about 30 we can have the youngers shottin for us- we cant be 30 years old and be still walkin on road." what the fuck was this guy on."me and u shld bang dis hoe 2gever as bruvas man," faisal said lookin at me."kl," darren said, "Oi u man!," he said 2 his boys, "me and faisal are gonna take care of dis sket- u man enjoy yourselves."

darren punched me and he and faisal pushed me into a room. darren locked the door."take off your clothes bitch," i began to undress.darren was standin behind faisal.and den de gunshots came."what the fuck was that!", faisal shouted.darren smiled and opend the door, faisal ran out.all his boys on the floor, bullets to the head, to the neck.Faisal turned to Darren and said, "you set me up."I trembled as i saw all dead bodies and darrens boys standin over dem."I didnt care about jermaine- i didnt give a shit about the asian chick- but when u man try kill me- nah nah never dat."Faisal burst into tears at the sight of his friends dead, bleeding onto each other.then all of darren's boys turned to faisal.Faisal got on his knees, "please darren- please,"Darren looked to me and said, "what should we do wiv him?"I looked at faisal, his eyes were tryin to beg but he knew dere would be no point.i looked around at the black boys, in the three striped hoodies- the cainrows, the shapeups, the slang and the red eyes and then i looked at the guns in their hands my eyes teared up. i want my grandad."gimme a gun," i whispered.Faisal wept, Darren laughed and handed me a whip."you know how to use it?", Darren said."my heart does."I pointed the gun, "open your fuckin mouth," i whispered. he wept. "suck the gun- give it brain," i said.all the guys started laughin, "sick chick," i heard darren said."ah," someone whimpered. it was ahmed- he was climbin over mos body. I shot him."fat shit."faisal wept, "you heard me," i said, "suck it."i had my finger on the trigger as faisal was suckin the 9. "did you learn that from me?", i whispered. Darren laughed and kissed my head, "me and u need to get 2gever, fuck shawna."I smiled.Faisal looked up at me, his snot and tears ran onto the whip, "lick it up bitch," i smiled wipin the bloodoff my nose.den i looked at him and i knew it. i knew wat was gonna happen and i didnt stop him, because i wanted it to.the knife jammed into my stomach and faisals bloodyhands screamed murder as i fell back onto the ground.i heard the bullets tear through faisal as i hit the ground.i saw gold and blue and purple and then i saw red and then purple again- a deep purple and then nothing. nothing at all.

"You have half an hour to visit your inmate- if the inmate begins to behave in a way which we may deem dangerous then we'll have to ask you to leave."I nodded and put on my sunglasses, i ran my fingers through my short hair as I walked in, there he was- the bastard who saw nothing wrong with fucking and then killing some 18 year old sket when his wife was raising his kids and expectin one on the way.I sat opposite him."So you're my lawyer?" he said, "I thought I asked for Bernstein- who the hell are you?".I took off my glasses and looked da fucker in the eye.He jumped back."Yes it is," I said, "Yes it is."

Le Fin.

Nomi sat in her wheelchair looking out of the hospital window into the clear blue day. Her right eye still partially blind and her body exhausted from the anti biotics they had pumped into her system.She heard footsteps walk into the room."Who's there?", she called spinning her wheelchair round.It was the bullet that did all the talking- right out of the clean black gun and into the flesh that so many boys had touched."One down- one to go."

Saturday, 17 October 2009

"I think its important you all get to nomi a little better."I looked as Shirley was sobbing, they had gagged her and the steam from the kettle was so hot i could feel it cleaning out my pores."bet you werent expectin us you fuckin slag," one of faisals boys said.Grandad said, "please dont hurt us- what do you want.""shut the fuck up nigger!", faisal said, "before i just pour this water on this bitches head like shes a tetley tea bag."

"please-" i said, "why are you doin this?"."Darren got one of our bres- he knows everything- he said u told him this morning about me tryna set him up so hes got one of our bres- he wants a grand," faisal said bare angry."you want money?", grandad said, "w-we have money- please dont hurt us.""thats more like it," faisal said, "ahmed- go with him to get the money."the fat guy with the hairy boobs followed grandad upstairs.

"faisal please leave her alone," i pleaded."shes your grandma innit?"."no but shes like one to me- please leave her alone- its me you want."then i saw faisal turn to a picture, "oh my fuckin gosh- your dat skets nan- your rochelles nan."shirley burst into tears."SHUT UP!", Faisal screamed and then poured a bit of the water on her head, shirley screamed.i started cryin, "faisal no- please- grandads getting u the money."

"yeah where the fuck is he?", one of the other bres said."ahmed where the fuck are you ?!".all of a sudden i turned to see ahmed role down the stairs and grandad standing at his feet with a rifle in his hand."You tink u can fuck wit me," he said pointin the rifle at faisal, "you can pour de water on me womans head- but believe me burns heals- a bullet in your bludklut may not."Faisal looked shook and said to his boys in arabic, "get behind me."

"ill fuckin pour the water on her head- ill pour it in her eyes."shirley sobbed, faisal poured more water on her head, "NO", i jumped over shirleys head and flykicked faisal into his boys who then fell onto the wall, the boiling water fell to the ground, I untied shirley bare quick but jus as she was about to get up, faisal kicked my face, i fell back."Boy you done did it now," grandad said.just as he was about to pull the trigger, he held his chest. "RUPERT!", shirley screamed, he fell to the ground holdin his chest."mans fuckin havin a heart attack," faisal laughed, he grabbed shirley, "look at your old man- if your anythin like your grandaughter youllbe wantin a young man like me innit," he touched her breast, she sobbed. "rupert" she called.i ran to grandad and tried to help him up but he couldnt i could see his face turnin red, the left side of his face was droopin and he was havin a slight spasm, "grandad," i sobbed, i looked up to see faisal kissing shirleys neck.I picked up the rifle and pointed it at him, "let her fucking go" i said gently trying my best to ignore when grandad stopped movin."u cant use a rifle you dum slut- anyway if you shoot me- youll end up hittin the skets nan."

then i pointed the rifle at ahmed who was slowly beginning to wake up, "let shirley go or ill shoot dis fat prick rite now."faisal pushed shirley to the ground, as she tried to crawl to the phone he kicked her and put his foot on her back, she began to pray."let her go," i said, "faisal i swear to God i will put a hole in your chest- let her go.""your bluffin- u cant shoot shit," he laughed.i could taste the anger in my sweat and could see grandads dead body from the corner of my eye. everytin went red."pussy o."

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

I lookd faisal in da eye and fell to da ground."tripti."Faisals face was so pale he would have made michael jackson jealous."what are we gonna do," faisal's bredrin said.Den Faisal looked at me and grabbed me, he shook me so hard i could hear my tits screaming, "it was you- you fuckin nigger! you told me it was tripti."" i fort it was her- she knew so much and she knows darren- i assumed,"he punched me and i fell to da ground."dis is why i told u not to fuckin tell anyone u whore!," he screamed, then he swore in arabic- he said dirty slag.I looked up at him wiv my bleeding nose, "it must hve been darren who was prank callin me dem times," i said- it was all makin sense, "howd u even know dat darren nows."

"he told me," faisals boy said, "i saw him at five aside and he said dat we were dumb to kill dat indian chick cos she didnt evn know shit- he already knew about it all."i felt my belly turn and become filled with gas- i passed wind.i didnt feel anway about it- i was so scared dat when faisal held his nose and called allah's name i dint care- my bes friend had been killd cos of my dum mistake and now someone knew our secret.Faisal looked at me and said, "we need to kill darren."

I stood up and said, "your mad- how can you do dat- jus kill people like fuckin cluedo- i mean come on faisal- dis is too much- whever or not ur cool with some fed- sooner or later someone is gonna investigate."He attempted to punch me but i held his hand, "not today,"i told him, "i'm leaving all of dis- dis has got nuffin 2 do wiv me anymore- u lot have gone 2 far."

He grabbed me and held my neck, "if you fuckin leave- we'll come after you you fuckin half breed- me and my boys will do shit to you so dirty you'll wish you didnt have eyes to see it," he spat in my face, i wiped it off with the back of my hand and said, "come after me and watch me go mad- ill scream everyfin- il find a fed u dont know and i will let the world know- i dont min' goin pen for the shit i did- ive gone thru worse." den i was goin to leave but i remembered dat it was my house and so i asked faisal and his boy to leave, before faisal left he said, "dead slosh walkin."

I called shirleys house to tell dem i was home and even doe dey were abit concerned dat i left in da middle of da nite, dey were fine. at dis point i knew i had to get help and so i went thru my phone book and found the number i needed, darren's.

when i calld it- it said da number was out of service and so i got desperate- i knew he was on twitter and so i made a twitter account (www.twitter.com/nomialmaz) and found him- when i did i left him a direct message beggin him 2 call me.

My phone rang the followin day as i was wakin up."Nomi its darren- what's good.""Darren i need your help- Faisal and dem man want to kill you- they want to hurt you cos u know shit.""Yeah i know everyfin Nomi- your girl Tripti could never keep a secret.""Tripti?"."Who the fuck do you think told me- you lot duppied her for no reason.""We had to- she was gonna say everyfin about jermaine and shit.""Thanks for confirming."

the phoneline went dead- my head was buzzin-what the fuck jus happened, i had noone to turn to- and i fink i jus told darren everyfin widout realizing. I locked all da doors, closed my windows and packed my bags, i was gonna stay wiv shirley- it would be the safest ting- faisal might come and get me, darren might come and get me but with shirley and grandad id be safe.

I left thru the backdor, lockin the doorbehind me and caught da train instead of da bus to shirleys jus in case someone was followin me wiv a whip, cause u cant drive on the underground.When I reached her yard, i felt safe and i had plucked up the courage to tell dem everyfin- so we could tell da feds cos i knew how dangerous faisal was- deres nuttin he wouldnt do.

I knocked on da door and waited five minutes for it to be open by grandad who was cryin, before i could ask what was wrong i was pulld into da house by big hands and pushed into da front room. Faisal was holdin a hot kettle over shirleys head- she was cryin. six of his boys were behind dem, da blood on grandads face told me dey had fucked him up."I tink its important you all get to nomi better," he said.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

I slept in the cold bed and looked up at da familiar ceilings.i slowly got up, dried my tears and walk down da stairs to see Grandad Rupert with his woman talkin, when dey saw me dey smiled."You res' up chile?", she asked tying up her purple bathrobe.I nodded and sat next to grandad."You stay here faw as long as you need to," she told me, "you family now." then grandad looked at me and said, "tripti's family want to speak to you when you're ready."I said, "no no i can't.""noones forcing you to do it now," shirley said gently, "they just need to know certain tings."i nodded and looked up at her face, i could see Chelle in her eyes from da pictures i had seen of her on facebook and knowin dat her grandchild was still alive was killin me along wiv da knowledge dat i had set up two deaths, jermaine's and triptis. i put my fone off so faisal couldnt reach me.

"Me got some trotters in the fridge if you hungry," shirley told me, "you need to eat."I thanked her wiv my eyes and walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge to find the trotters in i fink some curry, i warmed it and ate it, the salty tears droped into my food.grandad walked in and said, "im going to go buy some milk and bread- shirleys here wit u."i nodded as i buried my head into his grey trench coat, he stroked my hair and said, "this is a filthy God forsaken city," and left.

5 minutes later shirley walked in and sat opposite me. the kitchen was dark and smelled of so many mixes of food. dere were dim lights and it was smoky."I lost two people to," she said lightin up a cigarette.i looked in her eyes, "losing people is hard," she said, "when you know they there you dont mind not seeing them but when you know youll never see dem again- its the coldest ting, when dey taken from you cos of violence."I looked down."i want you to know dat your friend is in a better place- better than this world and better than this city where people don't know love and God- she in a much better place- safe from murder and pain- i can only hope my daughter and her daughter are there too."

I said, "your daughter?"."Killed by her boyfriend," she said bluntly,"killed for nuthin but a mistake made by my grandaughter."

her grey hair seemed to attract the different shades of the dim lights as the lamp behind me forced her shadow up against the tiled wall behind her."i let tings happen to my gran'chile and its da reason she did tings," she said stubbin her browns against the table.den she looked at me and titled her head a bit and smiled, den she said, "maltese,basian and eritrean- what a mix- lethal- im sure de boys like you."

I was able to let out a smile."boys are bad- men are bad- dey love u hard enough until de cum runs out of dere cock and den u jus a girl or a woman- a man will take your dreams away and your hope and your love for de world- he'll fuck u and fuck up your body, give you kids dat grow up to forget everytin u did for dem and end up wit tits low enough to get familiar with your toes- it aint da life for any woman- tek de advice i wish i couldve given my daughter- be alone."

"but you love my grandad."

"i love him because he knows im a woman- not jus a pussy to be torn out chree times a night- i wish me had an education but back home it wasnt encouraged- me wish me had de oppurtunity to learn tings- make my mind stronger so i could see tings- understand tings- instead of havin to spend tirty years of bein told what to like and what to do by a man with a tirteen inch penis for a brain."

she looked at me again and said, "your friend is ok now-you need to escape dis all Nomi whilse u can chile- tink about it- learn so you can see new tings- so you can leave dese devil kids to kill demselves- you still have a life- my granbaby doesn't- she ws about your age- beautiful girl- tall oh my Chelle- oh Gladys."den she started cryin and said, "dis world can be as big as you want it to be if you jus work- work will help you escape dis all- itwill take you to better places."

I slept in da bed i had slept in earlier and i wonder if chelle had slept in da same bed. i put on my phone- 62 missed calls from Faisal.i called him."dont say nuffin," he said as he picked up, "meet me in half an hour at your yard."i agreed and quickly got dressed. it was one in the morning as i snuck out of shirleys house to make my way to my yard.when i got dere faisal and one of his boys were waitin, we all walked inside and shut the door."did you say anyfin to anybody," he asked panicking."no," i said holdin back da tears."we're in trouble," his bredrin said.i looked at faisal."it wasn't Tripti who told Darren anythin bout me workin wiv feds and u workin wiv us," he said, "Darren already knew- we duppied Tripti for nothin"

Monday, 12 October 2009

The sky turned grey as Faisal walked up to me and kissed me."what did you do to her?", i asked.He looked at me as we stood alone on the bridge and said, "What needed to be done.""Is she-""Dont watch dat- its taken care of."Den he pushed my head into his chest as i sobbed, i tried my best not to but i did and he heard me and said, "she was gonna say shit Nomi- uno how tings work."Then i looked up at him and said, "Did she say anyfin about-""Dont watch dat," he whispered gently.

We went back to his drum and it was jus alone. it was raining- dere was lightnin and thunder as i sat in Faisal's front room alone as he made us some food- his fam decided to stay an extra month in morroco so he said i cld stay wiv him.he brought in the KFC and placed it in front of me, he sat on the sofa, spread his legs and jus watched tv as i cried into the salty chips.Tripti. My girl.But i knew shit had to be done- if she said anyfin wed all go down and what about chelle- ssk would find her and get her again- i didnt know her but come to fink of it she was like my half sister, my grandad was seein her nan and da pain i knew her nan was goin tru was enuff wivout findin out ur granpicne hu u fort was dead is alive.

how was i even sure that it was tripti who had told darren about anyfin- maybe someone else knew- was watchin me- but it was 2 late 2 have dem forts now- faisal and his boys had done what dey had done and even if it wasnt tripti who had darren sumfin it didnt matter- she was gone.i fort about her maj and her fam and how dey would feel and den faisal said, "i need you to help me do sumfin,".I turned my head and looked at him, my eyes were red from da tears, "deres some guy who try snitch on man- i need to deal wiv him."

I stood up and sat next to him, "Faisal allow it- dis is gettin 2 much- please."He looked at me and said, "listen- dont forget our deal- u do what we say innit- dont ask fuckin questions- ur gonna do it or else ur out."I looked to da ground, "dont forget what happened to jermaine- and now tripti- it was u who set dem both up- its 2 late to grow a fucking concious now."Then he kissed me, i wanted to push him away cos i hadnt told him bout my infection but it was too late his tongue was rollin around in my mouf."what's dis guys name?", i asked."his name's Mark."

As i walked to college the next day i realized what had happend, cos most of ssk were in pen and all da kinda pussy ones were out Faisal and his man could run shit easily and i was in da middle of it- once man started findin out i rolld with faisal and dem lot dey were gonna see me as ssk's enemy and i culdnt afford dat- but it was too late cs as i got into college i heard da whispers, "she roles with dem arab man innit."

when i took my seat my mind thort of tripti and all da fings we had shared togever, holidays, memories, 9 inch dildos and i got scared of faisal- how he found it so easy to duppy and den my head of year walked in."Can I have your attention please," Mrs. Omatayo said.everyone was still talkin until she shouted, "BE QUIET."den everyone shut up."Unfortuenately- I have some devastating news- Tripti Nairs family reported her missing yesterday afternoon and this morning a body that matched her description was found brutally beaten up- she was pronounced dead half an hour ago."

I burst into tears."Ms. Almaz- we have arranged for you to speak to our guidance counsillor as we know you were close- the police are also hear to speak to anybody who may know something that could help the police find out what went on."

the class was proper shocked and horrified, one asian girl who tripti used to celebrate divali with started bawlin. they took me out of the room and into a small office where two police men were sittin with one white lady."Hello Nomi- please take a seat."I took a seat and couldnt stop bawlin."Nomi we know you and Tripti were close- we're sorry to hear about this all- her family havebeen informed and they are desperate to speak to you- but first we need to speak to you," the first officer said, "this is my colleague Kelly and the school guidance councillor Nelly- was Tripti involved in anything suspicious."

I looked to the ground and prayed God would forgive me for wat i was about to do, "She was havin an affair with a married man."

their faces all changed with shock, "do you know the name of the man she was having this affair with."

"Gavin Meyers," I said, "Gavin Meyers."

One of the police wrote the name down, "are you sure of this," they asked.I nodded, "she said he had been gettin a bit violent in the last few weeks- i jus didnt know he could do dis," then i started bawlin.

"when you say violent how do you mean?".

"she told me that whenever she wanted to go out he would punch and slap her."

"did you ever meet Gavin?".

I shook my head.

"do you when the last time Tripti was with Gavin."

"I invited her to come to the park but she said she couldnt cos she was wiv him." Then i broke down in tears. "this is all 2 much," i sobbed, "i cant do dis rite now."

"we understand- but wed like you just to stay with us until your guardian gets here- we know he has been contacted- your grandad right?".

I nodded.

"Nomi- we have a medical report from you- you were gangraped less than a few weeks ago- our department is still on the case just to let you know- we know all this cant be easy- so weve spoken to your college in order to let you have time off and some counsilling- we usually arrange for your exams to be taken into consideration also."

"how do you mean."

"you've been through a lot and so we can ask for you to be given an automatic percentage of your coursework in case you cant do your exams because none of this is your fault."

den i looked at his face and knew dat it was my fault, it was all of my fault.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

His eyes were red as i let him."You home alone?", he asked as i shut the door."my grandad will be home soon," i lied, "is evryfing ok."then he looked at me and laughed, "you know where she is innit."

I looked at him and tried to act like i didnt know wat he was chattin about."Shawna," he said, "where the fuck is she."now i was gettin scared. "i- i dunno," i stammered, tru say man was fuckin scarin me, he handt shaved and his hair looked kinda dirty.he slapped me, "tell me where the fuck she is," and then he said, "oh im sorry," then he hugged me really tite and asked agen, "where is she,""i dont know."he grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground, he was crazy- his face told me so.

"please calm down innit."then he shook his head and started bawlin, "i need to fuckin see her."he banged on da wall."shes gone," i said, "to america."he looked at me and walked toward me, he kicked my face, "dont chat shit!",my nose was bleeding now and i knew i had to defend myself, i kicked him the stomach and tried to run for the phone to call faisal but darren punched my face, i fell to da ground.

he shut the door and closed the curtains"where the fuck is she," he said agen."america i told you- shes gone to live in quebec," i sobbed bare in shock."quebecs in canada you dumb fuck," he spat."why are you doin this," i cried, "what did i do- why are u hurtin me."

His face told me sumfin and i cldnt place what it was and den i realized dis was deeper dan da fing wiv shawna."so you role wiv faisal now," he said- his face looked darker, "mans been hearing that you're part of his likkle ting now- i know what faisal makes chicks do to join his clique."den he laufed."shawna's gone- please jus leave," i said, "we'll forget dis ever happened.""herd u and faisal been workin wiv feds," he continued, i was on the floor with a bleedin nose lookin up at him and den he sed, "your a dead ho if you keep rollin wiv dem man- some of my boys mite not like it." den he left.

I lay on the floor and just wept and bawled out bare, darren was fuckin mad and he knew shit, he didnt know bout jermaine cos if he did he would hve said but the shit he knew was too too much- i knew dat tripti had snitched.i just knew it.she was the only person who knew, faisal wernt gona say shit bt i had and now dat ho had exposed me. I ran to da kitchen and put ice on my nose as i fort of what to do and den it came to me.my mouth was still hurtin from the ulcers as i dialled faisals number.den i called tripti, we arrangd to meet at the park near my drum in half an hour.

I put on make up to hide my tears from earlier on and da nose bleed and made my way to the park, when i got dere some woman was sittin on da bench lookin at a picture of some black girl, from where i was sittin i could see da picture, sme any next ugly bitch who i recognised but cldnt remember from where.

as i sat down waitin for tripti i felt sick at da memories of da rape and how it made me feel and how i wuldnt even wish it on my worst enemy and den i fort of tripti and den da number 16 and den faisal and den she walked to me and as she did da lady left, so in the park it was only me and tripti."u alrite babe," she said kissin me on the cheek."Tripti- i have to tell you something- oh wait shit I left something for you at home.""what is it," she said."i got you something from central the ova day- wait here ill go get it from home.""shld i jus come wiv u.""nah nah cos its bare messy- plus i need to take off the price tag too lol." i kissed her and then i left.

i walked round the corner until she couldnt see me and den i saw faisal and his boys walk over to her, punch her and drag her away.

Friday, 9 October 2009

I sat in the GP waiting area.It had been three weeks since the ting happened and i was waitin to see Dr.Nair for my results, he called me up dis mornin soundin worried and rushed so i was worried. , That call about jermaine that i got had been happenin everyday, the person would call, say that and hang up, i told Faisal and he said hed try deal wiv it but i didnt know he could when the person was on witheld number, i culdnt even tell if it was a bre or chick - it was jus muffled.

I didnt tell Faisal about the rape.I didnt know how hed react- and talkin abut made me feel sick, shawna had gone to Quebec yesterday and made me promise not to say shit to darren and even when he called to ask if i had seen her i had to say no but on facebook her cousin baited her out and so now he knows, but its too late- her and her mumhave gone, said bye to London.

"Ms.Almaz," i heard a voice call, "Dr.Nair will see you now."As I walked into the GP, i wondered if da police would find the dickeds who did this to me- one officer said dat cos bare malis are illegal immigrants theyre hard to track when they commit crimes cos dere not on any data bases and even when i had to describe what dey looked like it was hard cos most of dem looked da same.

I took a seat."Hello Nomi- how are you feeling," Dr.Nair asked."I feel a bit better- just lots of pain in my stomach still and 8 ulcers in my mouth- what did the xrays say.""Nomi- as you know we carried out an x-ray on you and tested you for any sexually transmitted diseases."I looked at him. I knew it was badit felt like gcse results day but even worse.

"Nomi- you have Human Papillomavirus- its an STI which one can contract if one has mutltiple oral sexually partners or open mouthed kissing partners- Nomi I am sorry to be so Frank but during the rape when you raped orally."I shook my head, "No," i said, "I wasn't." and then i knew what it is."Do you give oral sex of'en Nomi,"I looked away in shame and started bawlin."yeah," i sobbed, "am i gonna be ok.""The disease can lead to Cervical Cancer if not treated- you'll need to have a vaccine- Nomi although I practive patient confidentiality I have had to call social services as you under 18- what you have a serious STD, if you didnt come here it could progress into cervical cancer- you haven't had your jab according to your records.""No cos i was having unprotected from before," i said wiping my tears, "please dont tell my grandad.""Nomi," he began, "I'm going to refer you a specialist for HPV at Kings- but yes social services now have to be involved- I'ven given them your home number and adress."

"You cant fucking do that!," i bawled."Nomi you have an oral diseases contracted from giving multiple oral sex and you are only 17 years old- like i said i am aware of patient confidentiality but your health is at risk."Then he gave me a condom and said, "I will call Kings to arrange an appointment for you sometime next week,"I took the condoms and left.I ran outside the gp surgery into the rain and wept, my mouth was stinging and the ulcers were hurting like fuck.Tripti called me. I hadnt told her about it."Hi u alrite babe," she said, "aint seen you in ages- stop by.""I cant," i said, "I aint feelin well.""oh shit- whats wrong," she said."Just on my reds init," i lied."i swear you were on your reds da week me and you were meant to fuck,""exactly- thats why im sick ive had it twice," i lied hoping shed leaveme alone, "where r u now?"."Wimbledon with Gavin- im in the car waiting for him, hes getting something for his wife- oh my fucking gosh did i tell you that that hoe used to baby sit for him- she killed that sherice chick in his yard."I didnt even care, "ive got to go now," i said and den put the phone down.I got home and icould tell grandad had come and gone again, i got some bonjela and put it on the ulcers and tried my best not to lick dem.Then i got in the shower and went into my mums old room and read her Koran, i could still smell her perfume in the room and could hear her laugh.then my phone rang, it was witheld so i didnt pick it up and then i heard a knock at the door. i ran down to answer it, i opened it."Darren," I said. He smelt of ganja and his eyes were proper red."You cool Nomi?"

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

I lay on the bed.Caught the bus and train home and lay there, i didnt wanna shower or nuffin i just lay there, i knew what i smelled like and i didn want to cry.i could hear their voices and what they were saying and i could feel the bite marks throbbing on my legthere was blood runnin down my leg but i didnt wanna shower cos showerin meant moving and moving reminded me dat i was still alivei knew i had to call somebody, not tripti but shawna cos she would know what to do.so i called her and she told me shed be there straight away.and when she got here i had to open the door for her and she hugged me, she didnt say anythin, she just took me to the shower and scrubbed me down and then she made me a hotwater bottle and lay me down on my bed and lay next to me wiv my head on her stomach.dere was silence for an hour and den she said, "who were they?".I looked up at her and said, "some somalian guys- in southall."she looked at me and said, "weneed to call the police"

"No," I said."But why," she asked concerned, "they cant hurt you now.""it doesnt matter- dont call the police,""What if they do this to someone else Nomi- this isnt just about you- these pervets could do it again,"tears ran down my face."I just want to be left alone- i want you to be here but just by ourselves, well call the feds in the morning.""and let them perverts get a nights rest," she said gently, "nah nah nomi- i have to."and then she looked at my face and said, "fine- we'll call them in the mornin," she hugged me

As i lay on her stomach she said, "This city isnt right Nomi- the police ain't doing enough to protect people like us- this is why im leaving."I looked at her, "what," i said."Nomi- some shits going down with Darren thats scaring me- Jermaines gone missing and I think Darren has something to do with it."i just kept quiet."he says he and jermaine are cool but i dont believe it- noone aint seen jermaine in about three weeks and he was involved in some bookie shit- i heard darren say he was an informer, snitchin on ssk for dough- Darrens been visitin Monique and Rico and I know they must know- I think Darrens done something to him- i aint told noone but i got a scholarship to study Pharmacy in Quebec- i didnt wanna go cos id miss the ends but whats to miss- people get killed for nuthin- the government saying crime rates are low when i can list ten guys who got duppied in the last month."

She looked at me and said,"Nomi- you need to leave too- you need to work out of here- this city isnt for anybody with plans- these parents arnt raising their kids to work hard and to love and respect, they aint raising their kids at all- thats how they can go around doing the shit they do because they dont know love,cos if you knew love u culdnt shank someone up for a chain or cos of beef- it would be impossible."

Tears ran down my eyes, she continued, "today i was telling someone about the fing with that chelle chick and they were like nah nah it cant be real- it is real, it aint exaggerated, all the tears that that girl from eastenders cried when her brother was killed for nothing arent exaggerated, that guy who was killed on the estate in east that times mum doesnt exaggerate when she cries cos she misses the son she gave birth too, that girl who got gangraped in tottenhame wasnt lying or exaggerating when she went through it all- this shit is real- and the feds arent doing enough to stop these dumbass parents for raising these ignorant kids who fink its cool to jack someone just cos they look vulnerable- jermaine used to jack bare heads- but he doesnt deserve to be missing- im scared for him- i know darren- whens he vex he can do anything- this is why im leaving in two weeks- me and my maj were moving to canada- you know she was mugged 8 times last year, we need to get away."

Tears ran down my face as i felt blood run down my leg."oh god," she said, "where are the tissues.""downstairs," i cried."we have to go to a hospital- please," she begged,"ok," i saidthen she ran downstairs as she did, my phone rang, i answered it.

"You fink i dont know that you know about what happened to Jermaine- you're a dead hoe."

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

I didnt sleep da entire night, my period had come cos i had forgotten to take the pill and i was havin nitemares about jermaine.i was home alone agen, grandad was wiv his woman and after watchin some xtube i decided to go bed but i cudnt. i had the hot water bottle on my stomach as my head was burnin up, all i coud hear was jermaines voice but i was slowly feelin less sorry 4 him- he had told every1 dat i gave him head when i fort it was jus between me and him.it was 4 in the mornin and proper dark, i had college but da way i was feelin i didnt fink i could hack it so i went onto my facebook.

that Brian guy had requested me.I accepted and then belled his number, even tho it was fuckin early- i needed to talk 2 someone, tripti was 2 busy fuckin that Gavin man to talk 2 me at dis time of the nite."Hullo.""Oh hi its me- Nomi.""Who da fuck is dis bellin me at dis time of night.""Sorry- its just dat we met on the bus some time back."dere was a silence."oh shit yeah- mans jus bunnin a zoot- what u on tho.""do you wanna link up later on today.""ive got college," he said, "what about at night.""i cant wait that long.""wait for wat," he said."I need a dick in me," i confessed."skeen- aight kl meet me at Southall station at 10 tommorow morning- my dads yard is there.""wheres southall," i asked."west- just go on TFL innit for directions- listen i need to go bed but 10 at the station yeah.""yeah- nigty night."

I was so excited- ever since getting initiated by faisal and his mandem i hadnt beenwocked out and i needed it- i would have called jermaine but i dont fink dey get reception in hell.

i spent the rest of the night findin out how to get to west and den i found out.I had taken out my weave cos the cum had ruined it and was jus goin natural- even tho i had regrowth i didnt even care- i jus brushed it so it was big and bouncy like my tits. I got dressed in my favourite jeggins and a star in the hood jumper wiv some purple heels and a clutchbag. I looked in the mirror and said, "who the fuck is Iman?".lol.I caught the train to kingscross and then had to get some next line to southall. Nuff somalis and eritreans and i culd tell some of dem knew dat i had eritrean in me, dey could tell by my hair and the way my skin was kinda dark hazel.I waited at the station when Tripti called me."watsgood sexy,"i said."Nomi jermaine's missing- did faisal go thru with it.""nah he never- faisal dont even care but r u sure jermaines missin." i didnt mind lying to tripti after all she was da one fuckin aman with a wife and two sons."ive been callin his phone for ages- i went to his yardand his mum said he aint come home- im worried" she said."dont be," i said, "hes probably been at some girls yard- just dont fink about him- how u been.""yeah ive been fine- come see me tonite- got the yard to myself.""yeah yeah," i said."i got a double sided dildo from agent provocateur" she said, i wanted to touch my pussy so bad but i was in public."ill be there later on," i laughed, "bye."Brian was approaching, he LOOKED SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY. He was in some Polo shirt and shorts with some airforces, he hugged me, "you look nice," he said."thankyou," i said as he led me to his yard thru some estates and into a flat.the flat looked like noone lived in it- it was small and smelled damp like sumfin had died innit.Brian closed the door behind him as i said, "im on my reds- u dont mind?".He looked at me, "yeah i kinda do- just back man brain and well see how it goes."

he led me into the front room and sat on the seat, he took off his shorts and boxers to reveal a 9 inch vanilla dick,i tapped the dick against my tongue and then slowly licked the top, his face looked down at me but he would groan everytime i bit him gently, i swallowed it whole and i felt his musles contract,he pushed my head harder so i couldnt move it and then he came. wtf!I lifted my face and opened my mouf- his cum ran down my lips. he was pantin as he looked at me."sorry about dat- i dont usually bus so fast."I smiled and took off my top and bra, he began to suck on my tits and then he said "eat me out."I had to do a double take, "what the fuck did you say"he turned red, "eat me out innit.""whats to eat."how can my man get up and turn his ass in my face, i backed up at first and then the idea seemd sexy and so i didhe was laughin and gigglin so hard as i licked his balls and crack, it was so clean.and then he turned to me and told me to stick out my tongue, he licked it so softly as he played with my tits.I lay on the floor as he got ready to get a titty wank. he got some vaseline and lubed up my tits and then placed his dck in between them and started to fuck them. "mm," he groaned.then suddenly the door opened, a tall skinny man walked into the room, "you alright son". I froze as the 40 something year old man smiled at his son, "just popped back to get my ID card for work-have fun." and then he leftBrian kept on fucking my tits and then he got up and fingered me, I HATED IT. it felt sick as i felt my period come off onto his fingers, "open your mouf," he said."nah nah," i said knowin what he had in mind,"fine," he said and den wiped da blood off onto my leg."what else can we do," he asked lookin bored."do you wanna rainbow kiss."

when we did it it felt weird but sexy cos his tongue was nice but still all dem juices were makin me feel abit sick, after the kiss he got his dick and rammed it in my mouth, i sucked it and sucked it, lickin the top, the balls until he came. we jammed for a bit- watched some porn, he fucked me in the ass, i ate him out, he ate my pussy and den i deepthroated him- he was cryin out all kinds of shit.By dis time it was 8pm and i had to start goin to Tripti's drum. I got dressed and just as i fort he was gonna offer to walk me back to the station he said, "ill call u innit." so i left.as i was walkin i realized dat i was goin the wrong way cos i rememberd dat dere was a shop near the station so jus as i was walkin in da rite direction about 9 somalian guys walked up to me."whats your name?", the first one asked."sarah," i lied."dont fuckin lie- whats your name," anuva one asked whilst one slapped my bum, i tried to push past but one of dem grabbed my neck."you ever been fucked by a somali before" one asked"please let me go," I SCREAMED but dere was noone to hear, den one punched me and dey pushed me into some alleyway and den one of dem forced his tongue into my mouth as he was punchin my face.I just cried.I cried all the way through