Wednesday, March 23, 2011

There’s a lot of pressure in choosing your child’s name. Your kid is going to be stuck with this name for his entire life. Even if he wants to go by a nickname when he gets older, the given name will still be on his driver’s license, tax returns and all other official documents. Fortunately, I’ve enlisted the help of Lisa Shaw’s “The Everything Baby Names Book” featuring over 25,000 names for assistance. Although the book’s copyright is 1997, surely it can help me find the perfect name for my pending child, right? Well, let’s see what I’ve found thus far.

Bronson certainly seems like a candidate for an increase in usage. Actor Bronson Pinchot may help further the cause. Wow, putting the future of the name Bronson in the hands of Mr. Pinchot looks to have been a bad call.

Did you know that Calvin means bald? Do you know any Calvins? If so, do they have hair? Cal Ripken definitely fits this defintion.

Lombard – Latin for long beard. Perhaps we should have nicknamed Brett Keisel, Lombard (or Lombardi).

Luther – The visibility of singer Luther van Dross, however, may make this name more popular as a first name in the next few years. I’m pretty sure that Luther’s last name was one word, not two. I call shenanigans.

Mark – In 1976, of course, Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz and his victories set off a whole new wave of babies named Mark, but it didn’t seem to last as long as the first wave. Um, Spitz’s historic Olympics took place in 1972, not 1976. Did you stop fact-checking sometime after K, Ms. Shaw?

Ninian – Unknown definition. Is the definition of Ninian unknown or does Ninian mean unknown definition?

Oh-oh-e-so-to-who – Native American (Osage tribe) for seven bulls. It may also mean five hyphens.

Radcliff – Mothers who might choose Radcliff may be thinking about their alma mater, Radcliffe. Really? You don’t think they were thinking about Vassar?

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