Max, you have out done yourself once more, love all these gems. Had a great chuckle, and loud laughter that make my day.
You would think that a church would not instigate sin, but I stand corrected. '-)

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

The one about Irving Benson and Jessie Carter reminded me of a funny joke told by British Comedian Tommy Cooper (RIP)...
He said that when he was young his family was poor and he had to share a bedroom with his siblings ... in fact it wasn't until he got married that he got to sleep alone ... (grin)

In conjunction with unveiling of EE Times’ Silicon 60 list, journalist & Silicon 60 researcher Peter Clarke hosts a conversation on startups in the electronics industry. One of Silicon Valley's great contributions to the world has been the demonstration of how the application of entrepreneurship and venture capital to electronics and semiconductor hardware can create wealth with developments in semiconductors, displays, design automation, MEMS and across the breadth of hardware developments. But in recent years concerns have been raised that traditional venture capital has turned its back on hardware-related startups in favor of software and Internet applications and services. Panelists from incubators join Peter Clarke in debate.