The amount of stars that would have to line up for the Raiders to win the Superbowl, is so unfathomable, so completely bonkers that there is no mathematical way it’d be possible. That being said, here’s what would have to happen.

Darren McFadden plays the entire season unscathed (won’t happen)

Raiders get a quality QB (won’t happen, apparently they are looking at getting Matt Schaub)

Janikowski’s field goals begin to count for 4 points if over 50 yards (won’t happen because it won’t)

Raiders draft well (won’t happen as Don Geis’ daughter runs the team)

Raiders bring back Gruden as the head coach (won’t happen because he still hates them for letting him go)

Peyton Manning’s calcium deposits in his forehead rupture, causing him to seek retirement. Philip Rivers retires to become a minister.