PANEL 1
A man and a woman stand in a field. From off-panel, there is the sound of gunfire – “Bang! Bang! Bang!”
WOMAN: Oh God. There’s another mass shooting! We need gun control laws!
MAN: You ghoul! Stop politicizing tragedy!

PANEL 2
The man pontificates, fingertips of one hand on his breast, the other hand pointing off into the distance.
MAN: We have to wait a respectful amount of time…

PANEL 3
The woman’s arms are akimbo, looking impatient. The man holds up one hand in a “wait” gesture, while looking at a watch on his other wrist.
WOMAN: Okay, NOW can we talk about gun control?
MAN: Just a moment….
MAN (small print to indicate something mumbled to himself): C’mon, c’mon…

PANEL 4
The woman jumps, suprrised by a new round of gunfire from off panel. BANG! BANG! BANG! The man speaks, looking very self-satisfied.
MAN: What a shame. Looks like we can’t discuss it now, either.

KICKER PANEL AT BOTTOM:
MAN: I’m not the one who makes up the rules.
WOMAN: Yes you are!

The image shows a bunch of ducklings swimming down a small river, following the mother duck. The ducklings are yellow; the mother duck is orange and has big swooping hair and basically is drawn to look a bit like Donald Trump.

DUCKLING 1: I will always say #nevertrump.
DUCKLING 2: As principled conservatives, we can’t follow a man with no principles!
DUCKLING 3: I myself issued a mild rebuke of Trump before I voted for his latest bill.
DUCKLING 4: We will resist!
DUCKLING 5: We are resisting!
TRUMP DUCK (cheerfully): Come along, kids.

Panel 1 shows a white man wearing a collared shirt and a necktie pouring gasoline out of a can.
MAN: Wow, this popular conservative columnist and law professor says protestors should be run down! Retweet!

Panel 2 shows the same man striking a match. He has a disturbingly large grin.
MAN: GOP legislators in North Carolina, Florida and Tennesee want to protect drivers who “accidentally” run down protestors? About time!

Panel 3 shows the same man, lit by a huge fire behind him, shrugging.
MAN: Someone plowed their car into left-wing protestors? How awful! How does someone even come up with a sick idea like that?

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Panel 1

This panel features large title lettering saying “scientific diet plan.” A middle-aged white man, wearing big glasses and what might be a white lab coat, leans in from the side of the panel, partly in front of the lettering, giving a “thumbs-up” sign and speaking directly to the viewer.

Dude: It’s science!

Panel 2

A fat, dark-skinned woman, with short hair and a lighting bolt tattoo, turns in surprise as the white Dude from Panel 1 suddenly addresses her.

Panel 3

Woman: Wait a sec, I’ve read a lot about this… Weight-loss diets are proven not to work in the long run for 95 percent of patients!

Panel 4

The dude, eagerly waves his arms as he explains.

Dude: That was true in the past, but my new diet has a scientific study! Now there’s no excuse for anyone to remain fat!

Panel 5

The woman has her arms folded as she talks to the dude.

Woman: I don’t think anyone needs to lose weight… But okay. How much weight did the people in your study lose?

Dude: An average of six pounds!

Panel 6

The woman is keeping calm but looking a bit angry.

Woman: Uh-huh… And for how long?

Dude: Subjects kept the weight off for almost one year.

Panel 7

Arms akimbo, the Woman leans forward, now looking quite angry. The man, oblivious, gazes into the air as he thinks about the answer to her question.

Woman: And then what?

Dude: Typically, they regained the weight… And half ended up weighing more than when they began.

Panel 8

The woman is now openly infuriated, yelling and waving her hands in the air. The man looks downward, cheerful and almost bashful.

Woman: Six pounds for a year, and then it comes back? Who could that benefit?

Dude: Well…

Panel 9

Final panel. The shot shows a table in a bookstore, stacked high with copies of a book called “The Science Diet,” with a picture on the cover of the doctor-looking dude from the previous eight panels. A sign next to the stacks of books proclaims “Bestseller!”

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Two people – a woman and a man – are arguing on a sidewalk. The woman has long curly black hair, and is wearing sweatpants and a tank top; the man has short blonde hair (shaved on the sides) and is wearing a button-down shirt.

Panel 3
The woman stomps away as the man turns his back on her.
WOMAN: Here’s an idea: Kill yourself!
MAN: Die under a bus!

Panel 4 is a “split-screen” panel, showing two separate scenes divided by a diagonal line. In one scene, the woman is talking angrily into her cell phone; in the other, the man is talking angrily at someone who is off-panel. The two characters share one word balloon, as they are saying the exact same thing.
BOTH CHARACTERS: I tried talking, but those people refuse to be reasonable!

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Panel 1
Large lettering says “The Ten Stupidest Objections to the Occupy Wall Street Movement”
In the lower right-hand corner of the panel, a self-portrait of the cartoonist, a fat guy with long dark hair, says: I’ve heard or read all these myself!

Panel 2
Furious-looking yelling man in polo shirt: Folks in third-world countries are EVEN POORER, so poor people in AMERICA should be GRATEFUL and SHUT UP!

Panel 3
Balding man at laptop: If they don’t have an official media spokesperson, how can we take them seriously?

Panel 4
Angry yelling woman: They criticize corporations, but use SMART PHONES made by CORPORATIONS! HYPOCRITES!
Same woman, added as an afterthought: And they wear clothes!

Panel 5
Person with long hair in a ponytail, shrugging and looking confused: Shouldn’t they protest in WASHINGTON instead? That’s where the people in CHARGE are, right?