Weekend Writing Warriors #8Sunday

The Weekend Writing Warriors share 8 sentences over the weekend. Here are mine from the start of Lily & the Mechanic

London 1898

The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover. Her black lace veil and the tight, corseted fixtures of fashion ensured that Lady Miriam Rothbury was well concealed as the door opened to the well-known Bond Street bookshop.

A bell ran discordant and a rather squat, balding shop-keeper hurried forward.
“Oh dear, dear me, I regret to say we are closed, is your carriage still here?” he peered hopefully outside.
“But you’re not closed now are you or I would not be inside.”

She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest. Interest which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.
In less than a few moments of whispered exchange she stepped through the opening of a pivoting book case and down the dimly lit, heavily worn stairs to the illicit basement shop beneath.

36 Comments

You have lovely poetic prose 🙂 I’m definitely curious about what comes next. Sounds like some sort of secret society or something.

My favorite line, “The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover.” I love setting descriptions 😀 Some people find them a bit boring, but I think they aren’t when done right and contribute to the mood of the piece. Here, it seems dark and foreboding.

About these lines, “She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest. Interest which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.”

I’m not sure why the word interest is repeated? Sometimes repetition is used for effect but it was lost on me here :/ I would combine the two sentences, “She lifted her reticule, the click of the clasp opening flared his interest, which blossomed into full receptiveness as she flashed the neatly folded pound notes tucked within the pink folds.”

Also I don’t know what pound notes are. . . I figure that this is something relevant in the late 1800s? Anyway, great snippet and looking forward to next week ^^

Absolutely love this opening line: The sun had long gone down and the fog was lifting off the city like a reluctant and indifferent lover. – So beautifully descriptive! And I’m very intrigued by the final line too, about the illicit basement shop. Can’t wait for more! 🙂

Very intriguing. I love how you tell us nothing about her beyond her appearance- builds the mystery. And the secret shop in the basement- wonderful. This is a great opening. Yes, it could use a little light editing and tightening, but nothing major.

Very Mysterious, Nice snipped. I like the whole sensation you created going down into the forbidden basement. BTW I love the art on your website. I like the atmosphere and feel it creates. The black, white and brown woman’s face I found very expressive.
Juneta at Writer’s Gambit

Thx Juneta:-) The black and white is by Dascha friedlova, i use a lot of her work with permission. I love her imagery very moody.You can find her on facebook and is very approachable if you want to use her images:-)

Dagnabbit! A day late and everyone has already made all the great comments. 🙂 This piece is wonderful, Elsa. Foreshadowing, imagery, character building, all wrapped up in fluid writing. I wonder what kind of shop that IS downstairs. I’m guessing from the title that the lady ‘ain’t no lady”.