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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Yvonne & Alma

I ran across an obituary this week that - again - had me singing Tom Lehrer songs. Yvonne De Carlo, best known for having played Lily Munster on the 60s comedy The Munsters. I hadn’t know much about her, but she was apparently a beauty queen and B-movie starlet in the 40s and 50s. She got around, apparently, too, and in her autobiography named 22 of her lovers, who included Howard Hughes, Billy Wilder, Robert Taylor, Robert Stack, Aly Khan, and “an Iranian prince”. Whew.

You won’t be surprised that this reminded me of Alma Mahler-Werfel, who Tom Lehrer immortalized in a song inspired by her obituary, which also lists her lovers, including a large portion of the creative men in central Europe in the first half of the 20th century. He describes it as the juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary he’s every had the pleasure to read. She went so far as to marry one of the century's leading composers (Gustav Mahler), architects (Walter Gropius), and novelists (Franz Werfel).

So maybe Yvonne deserves a song, too,

In Hollywood lived dear YvonneIt’s sad now that she’s dead and goneRobt’s Taylor and StackSaid when she’s on her backShe’d even turn television on.

….ok, maybe I’m not the one to write it.

Still, the whole thing makes me wonder why we don’t list everybody’s lovers in their obits. Wouldn’t that be great? Grandma died, leaving a son and two granddaughters. She was married 35 years to Granddad, but had 4 affairs with locals, including George the automechanic and Bill the late manager of Hardees. Her first lay was a traveling carnie known only as “Wrench”.

And I wonder that I’ve never seen this in a man’s obituary. Or would that just be wrong somehow?