In 1966 I found myself in a real crisis situation. I lost my way. My mind was under attack and my emotions were in turmoil. I began to experience anxiety attacks and was assaulted with evil thoughts that were unwelcome, but I couldn't drive them away. The accuser tried to tell me these were my thoughts and I desperately tried to prove that I wasn't that kind of person, but it was a losing battle because the thoughts stirred feelings and the accuser used the thoughts and feelings against me. I became neurotic. That is: my fears seemed more real than reality. In desperation, I went to doctors and took tranquilizers, but it didn't help much at all.

You see four years before this I had gone to the altar and asked God to save me through what Jesus had done. I was in earnest, and I planned to live right. Five months later I took one step backwards. This one wrong choice threw me back into the old pattern of choosing my strong desire rather than God's will. Gradually I became insensitive to the things of God again.

In my neurotic state I cried out to God to save me again. I knew He heard me, but it was years later that His saving power began to manifest in my life. I trusted Him to save me, but day after day I was in agony and fear. I would have done anything to get rid of the horrible thoughts.

Gradually as I cried out to God, I learned to listen to Him and He began to give me new insights. You see, the problem was that my emotional growth had been stunted when I was a little girl and along with that, I had developed bad attitudes and wrong thinking. When someone told me I should look at things differently, I thought they were stupid. How could one see what they didn't see? And how could one think what they didn't think? Later I learned that you can renew your mind and learn to think right, but first you must be convinced that you are wrong and will benefit from the change.

As I received these little insights from God I began to understand and mature some. Fourteen years later God revealed to me just what Jesus has done for us. That revelation put me over in life so I want to share it with you:

God showed me that Jesus came to clarify the scripture and to reveal the Father heart of God. Also, He had to walk the walk and talk the talk as our forerunner and example and so that he could be the sinless sacrifice for us. Jesus is a picture of man perfected and He is also a picture of God. Jesus did what we have to do in order to overcome sin and death. He was born of a virgin, born by the Spirit of God so that He would be spiritually alive as Adam and Eve were before the fall, and as we become when we receive Godís gift of salvation. The way He walked the walk and talked the talk is the same way we have to do it and it's spelled out in Romans 6-8. Our deliverance comes through reckoning ourselves to be crucified with Christ and resurrected with Christ in us. That is: crucify your carnal nature and walk by your new spirit which is born of God when you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior. God didn't only provide for the death of the carnal nature, He also provided for our resurrection from the dead to a new life. New life is obtained by receiving a new heart, a heart to please God because we realize that He is good, He is eternal life, He is success, and He is what we want.

After overcoming temptations to His carnal nature and the wiles of the devil, Jesus took up the battle in the garden of Gethsemane. The first Adam's battle took place in the garden of Eden, but Adam didn't really do battle, he just caved into his carnal or lower nature and made a wrong choice that has started all the wrong choices and innocent bloodshed in the world. Therefore a just God brought about atonement through a second Adam and a second choice. Jesus chose to do right, obey God, and shed his own innocent blood for the world. Adam's choice gave power to the liar and to the lower nature. Jesus' choice took that power back and put it where it will do good... into the hands of God. So you see that Jesus is the mighty conqueror. He did it all and He did it right. Now He offers Himself to all those who will receive Him. The purpose of receiving Him is to be empowered to make right choices and succeed in life. The purpose is to be washed whiter than snow in His pure blood and to be reconciled to God. God wants to be your loving personal Father. He wants to teach you, guide you, lead you, help you, protect you, heal you, strengthen you, and love you.

Jesus has proved Himself to be totally trustworthy and totally able to rule your life and even the whole world. When He comes to reign here (read Rev: 19) the government will be eternal and incorruptible. PTL

I learned that as child of God, it doesn't matter much what I was or what I am--it matters a great deal what I become as I trust in Jesus.

I learned that all the promises in the Bible are yes for me as long as I abide in Christ. This means that I can act today on what I'm believing God for tomorrow.