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In which i’m a hypocrite

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Usually on Saturday and Sunday Kevin and I go work out and then we have coffee together. This has only been our routine for the last year or so. The reason for this was twofold. First, when the kids were younger Keely ALWAYS had swimming practice on Saturday morning so I had a carpool I had to run. Secondly, Kevin worked on Saturday mornings for most of our younger years.

So, Saturday was normally my day to get up, run the carpools and do various and sundry other activities. As the kids got older, I could leave the others at home and I would run to a spin class during swim practice and pick up the carpool afterwards.

Sunday was MY day to sleep in so Kevin got up with the kids and it was PANCAKE day. I never made pancakes. Well, I did for DINNER occasionally but the big breakfast thing was Kevin’s. If it were up to me, my kids would eat cereal 7 days a week. I’m all lazy like that.

At any rate, with only one kid left at home and no weekend sports activities necessary anymore, we can do what we like so we’re developing our own “new” routines. So this morning, I was explaining to Kevin over coffee that I was a “hypocrite!”

THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS! LYNN MacDONALD is a HYPOCRITE!!

Why? Because I always talk about “not worrying about it” and lately I have found myself WORRYING about it.

About what? Pretty much everything and I don’t know why. I mean, some of it is valid but some of it is the stuff that I can’t control and have absolutely no affect on so I’m confused as to why I’m even dwelling on it. I speculate that I’m losing my marbles but Kevin pointed out they’ve been long gone.

Here’s what I’m worried about.

Daniel is a senior which means that next year I’ll be an empty nester

Daniel is a senior who is procrastinating on his college admissions which means he won’t get around to applying and he won’t go to college and I won’t be an empty nester

Andie has a really, really hard academic year and she’ll bitch and moan to me

Andie has really, really hard academic year and she’ll bitch and moan to me and I’ll tell her to shut up and then we’ll get in a fight and then I’ll feel guilty. IMPENDING DOOM OF MOODINESS ALERT

Keely is a senior in college and needs a job

Keely is a senior in college and will find a job

Keely is a senior in college and WON’T find a job

Keely is a senior in college and WON’T find a job and will move back home

I won’t be an empty nester because Keely and/or Daniel WON’T leave

Keely’s tumor is unexpectedly back (this is a valid worry I think)

Keely’s tumor is unexpectedly back and now we have to wait 3 months for another MRI

The stress of waiting 3 months for another MRI will cause me to have an aneurysm

Keely’s tumor will be aggressive like the last one and she will need surgery

Keely’s surgery will be a colossal pain in the ass like last time and will be a huge set back

Keely won’t be able to look for a job due to her surgery

Keely will have to move back home due to her tumor and surgery and a lack of a job

I will never be alone again

This fucking tumor will never go away

Keely will never get a job

Keely will never get a job with insurance and medical coverage

I’ll never be me again … the me I was before I had kids

I’ll be me again except I will be to old to be any fun

I’ll be me and find out I was never fun to begin with

Kevin will kill me for driving him nuts about being me

I’ll keep obsessing about stupid shit for the rest of my life

I’ll keep making lists about stupid shit and yet not do the shit I need to be doing

I’ll …

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LIST?

I think I’ve gone off the rails. I think I’ll go get another cup of coffee and begin a new, rational post. See ya

24 Comments

Theresa

September 1, 2011

It doesn’t get easier when the kids grow older..and if someone told you different, well they lied to you lol. All you can do is remind yourself that you raised them right, and that they are relatively intelligent. And that they will make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
I get told to stop worrying about everything too…lol. How the hell is that possible? I them to point out that freakin button on me that I can push to stop the worry and I will gladly do it. All I say is Bigger Kids=Bigger Worries!

Let me be your voice of reason here … oh wait, having the week from Hell, so sweetness and light i am not today ….
Actually from where i am looking, it seems a pretty rational list.
So maybe its time you just had a mojito ;)By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Rise Above It. Wordy Wordless Wednesday.

Don’t know you & just found your marvelous blog – but hell yeah, those are valid concerns. As mothers we spend decades running through mine fields for our kids, making life safe and happy for them. Then something comes along that we have no control over…and we’re not good at just letting it play out. My sons are now 23 and 26 and I have finally learned to practice what I used to preach to them…”Whats the worst that can happen? And what will you do if that happens?” I’ve found those two questions help me to put my worries in perspective and to have some sort of a plan, no matter how ridiculous it is. That said, I’ll bet a year from now you’ll be sitting in your quiet, clean empty nest and wondering what the heck you were worried about. : ) Sending positive thoughts your way… : )

I think we all have a list the we secretly worry about, I think it comes with the territory of being a mother and/or wife (as Katja said). I know that I did not worry nearly as much until I had kids. I do have to say though my boys do some of the craziest things so in my mind the worrying is valid!

I just recently found this blog, and love it. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. My youngest just went to college this fall. There was excitement and tears and fears. Then my husband and I came home alone and are getting used to being just us again. And as a precaution, you might want to check into the meds adjustment.

Uh oh. If you’re going to worry, please keep telling the rest of us to lighten up because some of us [me] need that kick in the tail. Just about daily. Lynn, you’ve got a big year ahead, all the way around. But I can’t picture you being too old to be any fun. So at least there’s that.

I thought when my sister’s kids went off to college, she’d be a carefree empty nester. Turns out she’s wide awake at dawn’s crack worrying about them. Who knew? I think I’m going to start working on that not worrying thing now while my kids are still young… (yeah, right)