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God's greatest gifts as I go…

firmly held

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – (Joshua 1:9, NIV)

Remember, I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – (Joshua 1:9, ERV)

Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take. – (Joshua 1:9, MSG)

As my sister and I navigate these days with our mom, into this vast unknown, there are many barriers and bumps that cause fear and discouragement. On our own, we would be huddled in the corner in the fetal position, rocking back and forth in a puddle of tears; sorrow and fear, anger and devastation overtaking us. Thankfully, we are not on our own. The battle belongs to the Lord, and He has surrounded us with an army of warriors who love fiercely – from our families, friends who are “framily”, to all those near and far who love mom deeply. Even the hospital staff is wonderful, and they are fighting fiercely to deal with the insurance loopholes required to move her to the very best acute care facility available. Mom continues to make progress with her speaking, at least when she is relaxed and speaking with Megan and me, but we are finding that she struggles when there are more than one or two people in the room, particularly those she does not know really well. Words are far more difficult to find when she is put on the spot, and when she feels pressed, she becomes quiet and just shakes her head with a disgusted smile. That smile makes me die inside a little more, each time I see it. My mama bear instincts rise up, and I want to throat punch people who say foolish things that do NOT encourage her, or motivate her to keep pressing forward. There are some enormous decisions to be made, and I am in need of covering as I contact HR to find out what my options are for FML in the coming weeks. What we do know is that mom will be at the Good Samaritan Acute Care Facility in Puyallup. Additionally, through dear friends, we have discovered that a mutual friend is actually on staff there! We see evidence of God’s hands all over this journey, it is just a road we wish we’d never had to walk. God knows, and we know He is with us; we just need to keep our eyes and ears open for the reminders. Humanity is fragile, but God is strong. May we ever depend on Him to be our strength and courage for every step we take.

Be strong, take courage,

For our Lord is near;

Despite what we see,

We need never fear.

Into His great hands,

We are firmly held;

The strength of His love,

Cause doubts be dispelled.

Lean into Jesus,

For in Him is found;

All safety and grace,

In strength, to abound.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You are our strength in weakness, and that You are our courage when we feel afraid. Forgive us for our fear of what we perceive, as we only see in part, what You already know. Lord Jesus, please go before us and prepare the way. Orchestrate the transportation to the new facility for mom – the very best and most comfortable method to safely transport; the timing that You have already set in place; please expedite the insurance paperwork and grant favor so that the current out-of-network status will be overturned, and above all else, continue to bring complete and total healing and restoration to mom. May her heart and mind and attitude be an example to those who do not know You yet, and draw others into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, even in this, for You are good, even when circumstances are not. Amen.

Rest is a rare commodity during the school year. It seems as though each day is thoroughly scheduled, leaving little time for rest. I rise early, to be intentional to protect my precious time with God, and I attempt to go to bed at a reasonable time each night, so as to not push myself to the point of exhaustion too soon. Typically, there are wonderful windows of rest that appear, unannounced, and I try to enjoy each one as it comes. The only challenge with this constant motion, is that if I get sick, it becomes a bit of a push to keep pressing forward. Everything in me wants to stop and sleep, but life dictates that I continue to do that which I am called to do.

God is remarkable at providing the rest that we need, just when we need it the most. This past week, I have been fighting some sort of cold or sinus yuck. I have not given in to the temptation to simply stop everything and sleep, and here it is Friday and I have a scheduled in-service day with no workshop to attend, and a women’s retreat that begins this evening. My body and soul will both be refueled, as my hope is firmly held in Him. Though it is likely to be a busy weekend, there are long gaps between sessions, where I could actually nap if necessary. (Anyone who knows me well, is likely laughing out loud at that thought!) I know that the sort of rest that I will find in Him in a space of actively seeking, will be far greater and more beneficial, than anything that a mere nap could ever provide. May we place our hope in God alone, as He is where we find rest when we grow weary.

To enter His rest,

our souls need to seek;

our great God alone,

space of calm retreat.

For He is our hope,

what the weary need;

He comes where we are,

and in love, He’ll lead.

Lead us to stillness,

where we will find rest;

and show us again,

how You love us best.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that we can find rest in You alone. Thank You that our hope comes from You. Thank You that when we seek You, we find You. Thank You that You lovingly lead us to places of rest when we are weighed down by weariness. Forgive us for attempting to press on and press through, rather than seeking You for the rest that our soul so desperately needs. Teach us how to trust You more, so that we will seek You and listen to Your leading, to find the places of rest that You are providing. Show us how to love others in such a way, that they too, might come to know the hope that is found in the amazing gift of grace that You give. May many choose to live for You. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to find rest, and place all our hope in You. Amen.