Faith Overflowing

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Wait and patience,
the two words that the Lord has been giving me over and over during my time in
Browning, Montana. Through this time my team and I have endured more than I
could have ever thought possible. We have gone through crazy weather
conditions, almost every holiday away from friends and family, and we have
experienced the Lord in new ways. I am not saying that this time is over,
actually we still have a lot left and a lot to learn, but still the words that
the Lord gives me is wait and patience.

In this season of
waiting it has not been easy, honestly I don’t even know what I am waiting for.
I know the things I pray for and the desires that the Lord has placed on my
heart, but I truly don’t think those are the specific things the Lord in going
to grant me. Maybe He is and maybe He just wants to show me that He does want
to bless me with the desires of my heart. Some days I don’t truly believe He
would bless me in such a way, but then I remember who it is that we serve and He
wants to give me good things, and He wants to give me the desires of my heart,
but not until I first give them over to Him. Not until I fully surrender all at
His feet, giving Him every part of my being. When He then has everything, every
thought, every desire, every want laid at His feet surrendered to Him, God is
then able to give them back one by one with a blessing attached. I am not
saying this will be an immediate thing. It may take weeks, months, or years for
Him to give them back to me, but when He does I know they will exceed any
thought or dream I ever had. Because God is the God of exceedingly and
abundantly more than I could think or imagine. A life surrendered to Him
doesn’t make sense in our earthly minds, but it makes sense from Gods view and
in His kingdom. When I have everything surrendered to the Lord I then look to Him
for everything. When I walk, I walk looking towards Jesus, with my eyes on Him
I am then unable to look at the circumstances around me, because my eyes are
fixed only on Him. This is a beautiful placed to be in because then He is able
to lead me in the direction I am to go. As I follow Him along this path He is
then able to bless me along the way. One thing I have learned from those who
have gone before me is that you are either preparing to go into a trial, you
are going into a trial, or you are coming out of a trial. Basically we will
face trials. And the funny thing is the bible says we will face them, but we
often get to a trial and cry out to God asking Him why. He just looks at us and
says I told you this would happen, now trust me and we will get through. He
doesn’t say here’s a trial now get through it He says let me guide you through
this. I am beyond thankful that I have a savior that will guide me through the
storms of life. Someone who says wait and be patient, but then says, while you
wait lets hang out so you are not lonely, allow me to guide you to the thing I
have waiting for you. He doesn’t leave, He says lets do this together and walk
this road hand in hand patiently enduring the trials that come your way.

“There is a boy here who has five
barley loaves and two fish. But what are they for so many?”

Five loaves and two fish. The lord has
spoken this to me multiple times in the last two days. In this season I often
find myself worn out, tired, and exhausted. Not from what we are doing but from
just the emotions of it all. To be completely honest it's the little things
like the wind, or the snow, or I guess it's now the melted snow that is mud
right in front of my door that I do my best not to step in yet it happens every
day. My emotions are just done. I have reached the end of what I can give as a
person. Often I feel I am unable to love any deeper. I just can't give anymore.
And then I turn to God and He tells me all I want are the five loaves and the
two fish. Is that too much to ask? And I ponder this idea. Instead of over
doing it all God asks of me is to give what I can and let him do the rest. He
never asked me to move the mountains or to stop the winds (which I wish I
could) He just asked me to have a little faith and He would do the heavy
lifting. I guess in this time I am learning it's not anything I can do but
everything He can. It's not about me and my abilities it's about Him and His
abilities. He is taking the little I give each day and magnifying it in his
kingdom. To be honest I have no idea what that means or how that plays out. All
I know is that He has it under control and that I can trust Him to make it
better than I would ever expect. Maybe I will never see it here on the reservation;
maybe I won't even see it a year from now. But I know I will look back and say
I gave what God asked of me. I put in my five loaves and two fish. The rest was
up to him.

"Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs
forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers
in the dessert." Is. 43:18-19

When
the Lord first gave me this verse at the beginning of the year I truly thought He was telling me that He was finally going to bring new things to us here in Browning. I thought that the ministry here would begin to finally flourish the
way I imagined it would be during my field time. Little did I know is that God
was about to do a new thing in and through my heart. I saw that my mind and my
heart to this place was slowly becoming more and more hard. I was closing
myself off to the children and the ones that I was sent to love on. He has
changed my heart and mind to seek him in new ways. Praying more and relying on
my time with him more and more. I seek that quiet moment of the morning or the
quick verse in the afternoon to get through the day. I am seeing more and more
how much I have to rely on him for my strength throughout the day. God is
teaching me and doing a new thing in me, not the people or the circumstances
around me, but in my heart and my mind. I am now turning to Him to seek comfort
and joy and not to the people and situations around me. I may not get it right
each day. But this is a process and He is teaching me a new thing each and
everyday.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Not
many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach
will be judged with greater strictness.”James 3:1 ESVthis verse hits me hard each time I read it. All
growing up I have always been a natural born teacher. Playing school with my
friends, always helping the younger kids at family functions, it all just came
naturally to me. While growing up my mom saw this natural talent in me, She
always encouraged me to become a teacher. First, knowing it was something I was
good at and second saying it's a great profession for having a family. I ran
from this natural born gift for as long as I can remember. First, it was in high
school when I decided I would go to culinary school instead of college.
Thankfully the Lord got control of my heart and mind and changed my path. Then, it was my sophomore year of college when I decided to change my major to speech
pathology. I ultimately learned that I hated this major and quickly changed it
back to teaching. The final dart was when I was in my graduate program and was
not succeeding in the thing I know God has given me a gift to do. That's when I
stopped and I packed up and moved. Away from family, and friends. It was a
rough time and I needed to know this was truly Gods calling on my life. So why
am I on the mission field now? Why am I not in a classroom teaching like so
many of my classmates? It's because of God. He knew that I was scared. He knew
that I was holding myself to an unattainable standard that I would never reach.
This would be perfection. So he gave me a year. One year to seek Him, one whole
year to do life on the mission field, not only serving Him but seeking Him and
learning who He created me to be.So why does this verse still haunt me? Because, I
am the girl who seeks perfection. I hold myself to standards I am constantly
unable to reach. When I feel like I have failed I run. If I don't meet my
standard I am completely crushed. And now I read in Gods word that if you are a
teacher you will be judged more harshly? That's just great, not only do I do
this to myself, but also now God is going to do this. But that’s it. If I am
seeking him and he is leading me to be a teacher, then he will be faithful to
forgive and give grace. Not that I am to live my life dependent on these alone,
but I am to lead in a manner worthy of him, but I am human an I will mess up,
and when I do I know he will be there to lift me back up and give me the
strength to continue on. Because he is not only our great judge he is also our
Heavenly Father, our Protector, our Healer, and our Great High Priest who is
always there in our time of need.

28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field
today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O
you of little faith!29 And do not seek what you are to
eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.30 For all
the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows
that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and
these things will be added to you.

Luke 12:28-31Seek first his kingdom...such strong words.
Lately I have been hearing people tell me over and over to let God into the
small parts of life. If you are like me you have always let God into the big
decisions. Like when I was going to college where was I to go. Or what ministry
God wanted me in. For example when God called me to IGNITE I knew he was going
to have to provide the finances and you know what he did before I even left for
the program. As I have been thinking about what to do next I have sensed God
tugging on my heart to finish the schooling I have already started. He has
given me vision for the future that I never thought he would. I was really
eager to take this next step in submitting applications, but I knew I didn't
have the finances to pay for the applications. So I decided to take a step back
and wait on God. I put out my prayer that if this desire was truly from him he
would provide what I needed. I sought first his kingdom and then I forgot about
it. Weeks later I realized that this small pray had been answered with just
enough for me to take the next step. This moment has fully renewed that small
spark of faith I was looking for within me. It is easy to become comfortable
and forget that we need to keep God at the center of everything that we do.
This small act has reminded me to seek him first in all areas of life and to
lay all my plans and my desire at his feet so that he is able to provide more
abundantly for me.