Are you an Xbox One owner? Have you rolled your eyes at the hype surrounding the imminent release of No Man's Sky? Have you struggled to contain your envy of PS4 owners? Or perhaps you are a PS4 owner, and have been smart enough to hold off on buying No Man's Sky until the reviews drop?

Either way: this is your article, and we urge you to share it with all of those who greedily gobbled up the hype, and convinced themselves that No Man's Sky - sight unseen - would be the greatest game they ever did play.

We have gathered some of the most damning quotes from around the Internob, from those who have played the game, and coupled them to some suitable imagery of the celebrity chef Guy Fieri - custom made to provoke maximum irritation among the No Man's Sky early adopters....

"No Man's Sky" is like playing a slow, French sci-fi cartoon mixed with a Pink Floyd laser light show..."

That sounds brilliant to me.

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Alastair

9/8/2016 01:24:59 pm

It's upped expectations of both the game and Guy Fieri.

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Stay

9/8/2016 02:45:00 pm

I for one would up for a Ulysses 31 game provided I could shoot Nono whenever I wanted too.

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Lord Jonty McMonkey 18th Earl Of Thuringishire

19/8/2016 11:35:50 pm

He's just a small robot you know.

But yes a game that played like "a slow, French sci-fi cartoon mixed with a Pink Floyd laser light show" does indeed sound like sort of thing I'd spend time and money on. Once it had been patched a few times of course, Oh these days...

TromaDogg

9/8/2016 01:20:19 pm

Until people have played it for a few days and half of them are subsequently bored to tears by it, there's going to be no telling the numpties out there.

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Alastair

9/8/2016 01:25:57 pm

Good, it'll cut down on the explorers out there so there's more galaxy for later adopters.

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Nige

9/8/2016 03:24:53 pm

I've been scoring the marketing and preview articles. It's currently at double-Molyneux levels with a dangerous potential to increase even further before the PC release this Friday.