Thankfully, we don’t have national anthem-playing dunnys in this country. Or perhaps we do and don’t give a shit about the noises they make. Maybe we don’t care about getting panned if our water closet plays Advance Australia. If you really think about it, this article puts a whole new slant on the terminology, ‘girt by sea’.

Hey, sue me! I don’t get these flashes of comedic brilliance very often.