Study: Locking Doors Prevents Robberies

In the past few months, the Syracuse has been the victim of several robberies. In an effort to discover why particular students are targeted more than others, the Sociology department dispersed a survey among the student body, and the results were surprising.

One hundred percent of the students who were robbed said that they did not lock their doors on the night of the crime. Of those students, twenty-five percent said that they left their front doors wide open. And of those students, five percent put up signs on their front lawns with phrases such as, “No One is Home and My Door is Open,” “I Have Lots of Money in my Bedroom and a Flat Screen TV in the Living Room,” and “Please Rob Me Blind.”

Still, many of the robbery victims are baffled as to why the vandals choose their abodes. “I just don’t understand,” says Julie Andrews, a sophomore living on south campus. “When I first got home, the front door was wide open, the inside was a mess, but that’s just how I left it, you know, nothing unusual. Then I got inside and my TV was gone! Who steals a TV?!”

One robber, who wished to remain anonymous, commented, “It’s really not even fair. These kids get hammered drunk, leave with their doors wide open, and expect us not to steal stuff? Hell, I was the president of a company a year ago. But I quit because this job pays way better.”

Despite this undeniable evidence, students continue to leave their residences unattended, resulting in more and more robberies. One student wrote a strongly worded letter about how he still does not believe that he needs to lock his door. But he left the letter at his unlocked house on Friday night.

On Friday, a stop sign was stolen from Lancaster Avenue. Upon learning of its theft, the Syracuse Police Department immediately put 99% of its resources into finding the stop sign and reprimanding the perpetrators. “How will people know whether to stop or not?” asks SPD Chief Steve Grabowski. “We need that sign back or else”¦it’d... MORE »

At 2:30 am wednesday morning, SU undergraduate and Alabama native, Bill Williamson was assaulted on the 600 block of Euclid Avenue by two unknown assailants. The suspects approached the victim and asked for directions before assaulting him with a bucket of glitter. They then fled the scene while the victim was stunned. The victim immediately... MORE »

North Face and Uggs consumers of the Hill area can rest easy as J. Michael’s Shoes has moved into part of Marshall Square Mall – because if there is one franchise in the Marhsall St area capable of acquiring already-occupied space, it’s Marshall St’s store of over-priced clothing. J. Michael’s had to close after a... MORE »

THE MOST DEPRESSING PLACE EVER, BUMBLEFUCK— Syracuse University student Chris Davis was hospitalized due to hypothermia brought on by exposure to freezing temperatures Sunday morning while walking back to his apartment because the Department of Public Safety refused to offer transportation. At about 2 p.m. Monday afternoon, the Syracuse Police Department received a call from... MORE »

SU has launched a new poster series to be featured around school. The following poster, hanging in the 2nd floor of Carnegie Hall, reads the astounding notion of “Women Doing Mathematics.” Similar ground-breaking statements and revelations will be published in a variety of poster locales across campus. Look for a poignant and powerful poster coming... MORE »

From studying for finals to partying your ass off (literally?) to discovering that there are no jobs for you once you leave so you might as well just keep partying, this is May’s first Around the Web! Sorry For Partying: http://bit.ly/IGEX07 College Candy: 1 in 2 College Grads are Unemployed/Underemployed [Current Events Cheat Sheet] http://collegecandy.com/2012/04/30/1-in-2-college-grads-are-unemployed-or-underemployed-current-events-cheat-sheet/... MORE »

It’s Friday! Time for some awesome stuff from our friends around the web! Sorry for Partying: http://www.thes4p.com/surviving-420/ College Party Guru: http://collegepartyguru.com/games/pages.php?link=Drinking_Monopoly TUN.com http://www.facebook.com/theuniversitynetwork MORE »

Coming to you today is a very special Tuesday edition of Around the Web! Mostly because we forgot to do one on Friday. Enjoy! TUN.com Are you sexy and you know it?! University of Missouri will be. Grindstone Fitness Studio offers their students unlimited yoga, spinning, and kickboxing classes w/ full membership for $53.58/month.... MORE »

Check out the latest stuff from Around the Web! TUN.com Having a party in your dorm room?! At Stella’s Pizza, located near Temple University, it’s $14.95 for 2XL pizzas, $12.75 for 2 LARG pizzas, and $9.65 for 2 SML pizzas. Wanna make it into a block party?! Get 3 any size pizzas, get the fourth... MORE »

It’s getting to be that wonderful time of the year. Flowers are blooming. Finals aren’t quite here yet. And Rick Santorum is beginning to show his true colors (or hatred for people thereof). Ah, spring time. And of course, with spring comes a dreaded time for high school seniors, anxiously awaiting notice from a university... MORE »

The year is 1992. Bill Clinton has just begun his non-scandalous term in office. Aladdin is dominating the box office while people argue that this whole Disney animation thing is “just a phase.” And Microsoft released Windows 3.1, forever solidifying its place as the best computer software ever. In essence, 1992 was nirvana. Because “Smells... MORE »

The Syracuse Orange have made it to the Elite Eight without star center Fab Melo, who, a few weeks ago, became ineligible for the NCAA Tournament due to academic reasons. Without the seven-footer in the paint, the Orange have relied on clutch performances from Scoop Jardine, Kris Joseph and Dion Waiters. Tonight, though, the Orange... MORE »

It’s March Madness! Check yourself into an asylum and then check out some stuff from our friends around the web. Sorry For Partying: http://thes4p.com/blog/article/581/why-your-girlfriend-hates-the-ncaa-tourney http://thes4p.com/blog/article/565/the-s4p-pickem-challenge-ways-to-guarantee-being-the-last-chosen-in-a-pick-up-g College Party Guru: http://collegepartyguru.com/themes/pages.php?link=Luck_of_the_Irish Shut Your Fat Mouth: http://shutyourfatmouth.tumblr.com/ I Don’t Feel Bad About It: http://idontfeelbadaboutit.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-wish-i-knew-how-to-quit-you-one-tree.html The University Network: http://tun.com/ MORE »

Seriously? Is this really happening? Let me get this straight: Melo, and I’m completely guessing here, skips a few classes and now he’s ineligible for the tournament? Seriously? I’m going to guess yet again and say that Melo is not the first Syracuse athlete to fail to meet certain academic requirements like going to “class,” or turning... MORE »

The bracket has been set for all of 31 minutes and already Syracuse sophomore Paul Pitt has allowed the madness to take over him. According to sources, Pitt has neglected to shower for four straight days and has consumed a mere two meals in those 96 hours. “Of course I’m concerned about him,” said roommate... MORE »

If you’re looking for St. Patty’s ideas, trying to accept your obsessive pop culture disorder, or working on preventing yourself from more horribly drunken hook-ups, then look no further. It’s all in this week’s Around the Web. Sorry for Partying: http://thes4p.com/blog/article/557/just-say-no-to-drunken-hookups I Don’t Feel Bad About It: http://idontfeelbadaboutit.blogspot.com/2012/01/obsessive-pop-culture-disorder.html College Party Guru: http://collegepartyguru.com/themes/pages.php?link=Luck_of_the_Irish MORE »

Mahwah, New Jersey-In a whirlwind decision, Ramapo College administrators agreed that starting this semester, the college will no longer give students a Spring break. However, in an experimental move that will either garner high praises or arouse copious concerns, Ramapo will being giving all school faculty a Spring break. This includes professors and administrators, as... MORE »

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for us to feature some awesome content from our friends around the web! In this week’s edition, you can find out some techniques for dealing with your roommate (homicide is not an option, although if you’ve successfully pulled it off, I’m sure people would love to know how…), calculate how... MORE »

Alan Panzer, Syracuse Class of 2008, misses room 206 in Sadler Hall. “That place was the best,” says Panzer, who lived in a split double. “I had windows! And a desk! And I could walk around! I remember at the time being so angry and thinking, “This is the tiniest room in the world.’ “I... MORE »

Happy First Friday of Lent! Oh, it isn’t a happy day? My bad. Well now it can be happy, because we’ve got some gifts from our friends around the web! If you’re looking for that special place to swap spit and other things (Pokemon cards?), check out Sorry For Partying. Getting ready for Spring Break?... MORE »

Yo yo yo! Whasup, my linjas? Is that racist? Shit, if that’s racist, I’m sorry, dawgs. My b. But I’ve got a wicked case of Lin fever. Like, I went to the hospital and they said I had a 103Âº fever, “most likely caused by a venereal disease.” Which I’m assuming is doctor-speak for Linsanity.... MORE »

Check out the latest and greatest from our friends around the web! Whether you’re angry about McDonalds being out of chicken McNuggets, looking to reminisce about how amazing Titanic was, looking to throw a party without smelling bacon, or interested in learning what kinds of hangovers there are (hint: they’re all bad), this week’s links answer... MORE »

We here at Campus Basement came to a conclusion last week: Jeremy Lin is Asian! We had no idea. After this sank in, we brainstormed new segments and decided we need more music stuff on our site. And so, without further ado, we present to you the first installment of Frat Party Music (Blank) Years... MORE »

Our friends Irina Dvalidze and Cheryl Mowczan at The Newshouse put together this awesome compilation between innocent preschoolers and corrupt college kids talking about what love means. The fact that the preschoolers are more pronounced than the college students speaks volumes about our generation. Regardless of how you feel about love, whether it exists only... MORE »

Gentlemen. I won’t sit here and and blabber on about, “I know what girls want!” That’s a lie. No one knows what girls want. Girls don’t even know what they want. But I do know what girls don’t want. At least I think I do. Come to think of it, I’m not sure about that either.... MORE »