Friday, June 28, 2013

I've never really had a strong opinion when it comes to feeding babies. I'm still breastfeeding Rory, but it was tough to start with. I thought I'd do it for six months and then stop. In the beginning it was a battle to get to six weeks. Now bubba and I have found our groove and his six month birthday is fast approaching, I'm not sure I want to stop. Whereas before Rory would drink anything from anything, now he's decided he only wants breasts. Expressed breastmilk from a bottle won't do; it must be fresh...straight from the cow, if you like. This makes it difficult for me to leave him with anyone else for a reasonable period of time.

I stopped seeing breastfeeding as a dreaded chore when I went to hospital. I learnt to see it as time out with my little man and it got easier. I've mastered the whole feeding discreetly in public thing and we seem to have a good thing going on.

However, I can see there are also a lots of positives when it comes to bottle feeding. Duncan wanted me to stop feeding so he could help out with feeds with me not being well. I appreciate this, but I told him I'm not sure I want to stop at six months....and I don't think Rory will be happy if I stop anyway.

Here are the pros and cons I can see for both:

BREASTFEEDING
PROS

Convenient, no preparation required, always on tap, always the right temperature, no wastage.

Nice bonding time with Rory.

Great for weight loss. I find I can pretty much eat without worrying about packing on the kilos.

CONS

Can sometimes be difficult to feed in public with conservative people around who disapprove no matter how discreet you are attempting to be.

Sore nipples.

I'm the only one who can feed him so I can't have extended times away from him.

I have to consider what I eat and if it might be affecting him.

BOTTLE FEEDING
PROS

Anyone can feed him. Duncan and I could go away for a night together and leave Rory in someone else's care.

Can feed more openly without worrying if people disapprove or are having a perve.

He drinks quicker from a bottle (when he did happily drink from bottles).

Thursday, June 27, 2013

On Saturday 15th June, we went to....yep, you guessed it....another 30th! This time it was a joint affair for Duncan's best man, Jamin, and his wife, Jodi. Ladies were asked to wear black and pink, and men black and blue.

We headed up to Perth the night before the party and after a rough night with a non-sleeping bubba, I was hesitant about whether to bring him along. But since we were without a babysitter, we brought him along as there were other people looking forward to meeting him.

Alas, Rory didn't want to sleep in his pram so we were there for less than two hours. Oh well! At least we made it, got to catch up with a few people....and have some fun with the photo booth.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

While Rory and I were in hospital, my pastor came to visit one afternoon and asked how I was going spiritually. It's tempting while suffering to look for reasons why bad things happen to us. "Why, God? Why me? What is your purpose in this?" My pastor encouraged me to look at the big picture of what God is doing in the world, that is reconciling all things to Himself in Christ. Somehow what is happening to me is part of His universal plan to bring everything under Christ's feet.

I was primarily focusing on what God is doing in me through suffering, moulding and refining me to make me more like His Son. But as my pastor said, sometimes our suffering is not just for us. Sometimes it's for others as well. God may well be using this to grow me in Christlikeness, but my suffering is also giving others the chance to grow as they learn to love and serve someone with depression. Maybe this is for my church who have been so fantastic in caring for me and my little family. Maybe this is for Duncan's boss who has been so gracious in giving Duncan time off. Maybe this is for my non-Christian family as they see what it looks like to follow Jesus when you're in the valley. It could be for any number of people.

I could drive myself mad asking, "Why?" God is the one weaving the tapestry and all of those threads that weave together so intricately create the big picture.

I don't need to know the ins and outs of what God is doing, but I do need to focus on the big picture. That big picture is Christ, for as I look back to the cross, I have solid evidence that God loves me.

Monday, June 24, 2013

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.
Colossians 1:15-20

Friday, June 21, 2013

1. "We are in the Lord's house."
This is usually said in reference to the church building. God does NOT need a building to dwell in. There is nothing particularly 'holy' about meeting in a recognised 'church building' as opposed to Christians who meet in parks, homes, cafes, or community centres.

2. "Firstly, I'm a wife/mum," or, "My kids come first."
No, firstly you are a child of God. I don't like going to women's conferences where the speaker is introduced and they say something like, "Well, firstly I'm a mummy." If that's the defining thing for a woman, then how do single women introduce themselves? And what about the husband, where does he fit in? God may have placed a woman in the role of wife and mother, but it's wrong to elevate kids to the position of little idols (besides, what are these women going to do when their kids grow up and leave home?). There is too much focus on mothering and homemaking in some churches.

3. "This is heaven," or, "It doesn't get much better than this," or, "I had the day from hell."
I often read posts by Christians on Facebook likening food and outings to heaven? Really? A piece of cake, fresh out of the oven, is as good as heaven? We seriously have no idea how good heaven will be. To be with God for all eternity in a place with no sickness, suffering, sin or death....that is beyond comprehension. This I know....it will be far better than cake, chocolate or a trip to the shops. And no matter how bad our day is, it cannot compare to the awful reality of hell, so don't say it does. Hell is eternal separation from God and, therefore, all that is good. Your day may suck...a lot....but it will never be as terrible as hell.

4. "Sunday best", or, "I need some new Sunday clothes."
You don't need to dress up to go to church. You're not dressing up for God, you're dressing for people, for only people care about outward appearances. God looks at the heart.

5. "It doesn't resonate with me."
The word 'resonate' is so overused *yawn*. It's usually said in relation to a Christian who didn't like a particular style of service. Yes, some church services are not great. It's not how I would do things, but it's not about me, or you, and what 'resonates' with us. There will always be things about churches which don't 'resonate' with us. Sometimes we just need to suck it up and get over it.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Who would have known that this blog would still be ticking along seven years on?

Over the past seven years, readers of this blog have joined me in starting a new relationship, getting engaged, getting married, moving from the city to the country, then to another farm, changing jobs several times, acquiring pets, and finally, becoming a parent.

Through sickness, rants, despair, confusion, doubt, sheer joy, excitement, and faith, you have witnessed it all! What a great record of life blogging is. I would have forgotten many of the little thoughts I've had over the years if it wasn't for this blog.

I have found this to be very true with blogging

This is why I moderate comments and don't allow anonymous comments on my blog

In keeping with tradition, I have given the blog a birthday makeover. If you're using a reader, click through to see the Sedshed's new clothes.

Monday, June 17, 2013

But I'm starting to wonder if there really is something unlucky about the number 13.

It was supposed to have been such a great year with Rory's arrival but, honestly, it just hasn't. It's been awful. I've spent six weeks of the year in hospital. My auntie passed away. Other things have been happening to those I care about which I can't go into on here.

After all the pre-season hype, the Eagles' season has been pretty darn average so far. That's putting it kindly.

1996, the year I turned 13, was a cruddy year as well. Am I seeing a pattern here?

I know bringing on 2014 won't make everything smooth sailing, but I've had enough of this year. Enough!

Please let the next six months be better than the first. Please God, have I had my suffering quota for the year yet?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

After the year I've had, now is a good time to review a book I read a long time ago.

Before I read this book, I was sceptical about helpful it would be. I thought it looked a bit too much like 'Christian pop psychology'. A friend of mine told me she gets annoyed seeing Joyce Meyer's face on the cover of all her books. It's true most authors don't have their mugshot on their book covers, but it really didn't bother me that much.

To be honest, this book really surprised me. It explores the way Satan attacks the minds of Christians and how we need to use God's Word as a weapon to fight his lies. Attacks on the mind include worry, doubt, confusion, anger and feelings of condemnation. Meyer states that while God is on our side and working in us, we also have a role to play in controlling our thoughts. I felt that some of the Bible verses were used a little out of context, but overall she does a good job of pointing distressed and discouraged Christians back to God's promises in His Word and the importance of meditating on Scripture.

The chapters on unhelpful 'minds' are good to read through slowly. They include the judgemental/critical/suspicious mind, the passive mind, the wandering/wondering mind and more. Then she explores different 'wilderness mentalities' - unhelpful, negative statements we often say to ourselves or to others.

I found the phrase 'victorious life' quite annoying, probably because I hear it used among Christians who believe in 'name it and claim it' theology. While I in no way want to be imprisoned by worry and doubt, we still need to keep in mind that healing and change is God's work and if He chooses not to heal someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't have faith. Having said that, we do have a part to play in being proactive about wanting to change.

I feel I can relate a lot to Chapter 5 at the moment, which goes into dealing with a negative attitude. Like Meyer, I have struggled with my life motto in recent months being, If you don't expect anything good to happen, then you won't be disappointed when it doesn't. It was good be reminded of the hope I have in Christ.

Monday, June 10, 2013

A year on, some of the damage has not been repaired. We are still waiting for a new laundry ceiling, verandah ceiling, and for the old potbelly fireplace which collapsed to be taken away. It looks like we're going to have to hire a handyman to get everything fixed that we want.

But, overall, the house is in a lot better shape than it was when we moved in. Here's the transformation:

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

It's a bad idea to over share on Facebook but honestly I am a bit ashamed that at this moment I can only feel jealous of others, lonely and a little insecure. Wish I had some positives with which to stack the deck.I appreciated her honesty because I've felt the same. Facebook encourages people to write things for 'likes'. When you're going through a hard time or a 'meh' time, it's hard not to envy those who seemingly have a great life. They're always at hip restaurants, taking photos of their scrumptious meals, posing with their picture perfect families.I encouraged my friend to not be deceived by what people write on Facebook. All is not always what it seems. That doesn't mean that people writing about good things happening to them actually have a terrible life behind the scenes; it just means that they are focusing on the positives. A good friend of mine went through a terrible time last year, but you wouldn't know that from her Facebook updates. It can be tempting to accuse people of wanting to make others jealous but that isn't always the case. When I'm going through a tough time I either write nothing or write about the good things, and it isn't because I want my friends and acquaintances to think I have a perfect life. It's because I don't want any smart-mouthed person to write something that will result in me feeling even worse.By simply looking at my Facebook page, some people may think I have it all together. A beautiful baby, a loving husband, cute pets, plenty of space and fresh air. But those who know me and those who read this blog will know that is far from true. I never advertised on Facebook that I had spent five weeks in hospital with postnatal depression and anxiety.Things are not always as they seem.I have to remind myself of this when I find myself envying others due to what they write on Facebook. More importantly I need to be reminded of who God is and my standing before Him when I find myself becoming envious or grumbling about my own life. I often find myself becoming jealous of non-Christians who are having lots of fun on Sundays, going out and about while we're getting ready for church. Being an introvert, sometimes I'd rather just spend the morning alone or just with my family instead of a large group of people. I want to go to cafes or parks and just have fun. Non-Christians seem to have it so easy. I enjoy meeting with God's people when I get there, but I sure do feel tired afterwards.That's when I need a reality check. Why am I envying those who don't know God when I have been given the most incredible gift, a gift I don't deserve, a relationship with the Creator of the universe? That is far better than any Sunday sleep-in or trip to a café. Having Sundays for recreation isn't freedom. True freedom is being liberated from sin and death by Christ's death and resurrection.Time to log off Facebook, get down on my knees, thank my God, and pray that those I've been envying will come to know Him.

Monday, June 03, 2013

I've been asked quite a few times if I'm having a 30th birthday party. If they'd asked me just after our baby shower I'd have said 'no'. I was fed up with people not RSVPing to things. I didn't want to make such an effort to have a party only to wait for people to decide whether or not my party would be fun enough for them, or if they'd get a better offer for someone else.

Then I changed my mind. So, if they'd asked me not long before Rory was born I'd have said 'yes'. I planned to have my party on the farm, before my birthday and before seeding started. As soon as Rory arrived and I was deeply depressed, I scrapped that idea. The date I'd originally chosen was Saturday 6th April. That ended up being the date I arrived at the MBU.

If you ask me now you'll get the answer, 'not yet'. When I'm feeling a bit more robust I'll organise a party. That probably won't be until September or October. A bit belated but better late than never. Since I want to have it outside I'll need to wait for finer weather.

I've always had mixed feelings towards hosting parties. The idea sounds good but they're so much work. I've had my fair share of parties that turned out to be flops...mostly in primary school. Girls being bitchy. Friends would 'go off' with other friends (leave the party because they thought it was boring so I'd be left with hardly anyone there), or they'd remain at the party but get in their little cliques and bitch and gossip. I remember my 9th birthday party. I invited two people and they went off and hid in my backyard. I felt like a fool for having a party.

In later years the parties were better, but I still had to deal with people saying they'd come and then not turn up because they got a better offer. Friends not coming because they didn't like one of the other guests. Friends not replying at all and me having no idea whether they'd randomly show up on the day *sigh*.

I'm going to be very choosy who I invite this year. Some people are on their last chance, honestly. I want my 30th to be a memorable occasion. I've felt like I can relate to these lyrics in the past, but this year no-one is going to be ruining my big night.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to,Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.You would cry too if it happened to you.

About Me

I had planned to star in an Aussie drama, write novels, live as a suburban yuppie and be married to my Prince Charming. God had other ideas. He surrounded me with Christian friends who introduced me to Jesus. He became my Lord and Saviour when I was 18 and my life has never been the same...it's been more than I'd ever imagined. Now I'm married to my Prince Charming, Duncan, and we live with our two sons on a farm in the middle of nowhere.