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What is ChemSex?

ChemSex is the term now widely used
to describe a specific type of sexual behaviour and drug taking, where three
drugs; Mephedrone (meow meow), GHB/GBL (‘G’), Crystal Methamphetamine (Meth,
Tina) are taken simultaneously for the express purpose of enhancing sexual
enjoyment and reducing inhibition. In addition to these three drugs, often
referred to as the Unholy Trinity, Cocaine and Ketamine (‘K’, Special K) are
often also used.

Whilst the combination of these drugs
increases sexual arousal and libido, the side effect can be devastating and
include increased transmission of HIV, STI’s, sexual dysfunctions, sexual
assault and even death caused by overdose. In 2005, these three drugs were
responsible for 3% of all presentations among gay and bisexual men to the drug
service Antidote, but by 2012 that figure had risen to 85%, an increase that
has resulted in sexual health services being overwhelmed with calls for help.
So why is ChemSex use exploding so fast? And what can we, as therapists, do to
help?

ChemSex is about much more than
drugs and sex, it’s about the community that uses them and why they use them.

ChemSex can occur in a variety of
ways. Whilst chems are sometimes used for lone masturbation and at ChemSex
parties, often referred to PnP (Party and Play) and widely advertised in gay
social media, they are most commonly used during partnered sexual encounters.
These encounters are usually arranged on gay hook up apps such as Grindr, with
either one or multiple partners and can extend over a 24-36 hour period. For
many gay and bi-sexual men, with a history of being socially shunned and
sexually rejected, ChemSex loosens inhibitions to facilitate hooking up where
the sharing of drugs, as well as sex, builds connection and intimacy and offers
sexual affirmation and validation. For men with low sexual self confidence
and/or low body self esteem, it’s a safe place for sexual expression and
experimentation.

But as the drugs wear off, many
regret the weekend’s events and experience confusion and shame as well as
physical withdrawal, such as anxiety, depression, paranoid and insomnia. Physical
come down. During the come down many delete or block any sexual partners they
acted out with as a way of disconnecting and denying the events took place. The
high of ChemSex may create a sense of community and shared experience, but what
follows is often a greater sense of isolation and feeling desperately alone.

Is this addiction?

People in the ChemSex community
rarely see themselves as having a problem with drugs and many may not recognise
their sexual behaviour as compulsive. Historically, those who visited sexual
health services for support rarely wanted to give up their behaviour, but
rather to receive treatment for sexual health concerns. But a growing number
are increasingly reporting negative consequences and a desire for change.

Extensive research has highlighted a
number of areas of concern, some relating specifically to drug use, especially
fears of ‘G’ overdose and managing withdrawal, while others focussed on sexual
health and sexual functioning concerns, particularly losing the ability to
enjoy sex without chems. People have also struggled with the impact on other
areas of their life such as not seeing family and friends and not having time
to spend on other previously enjoyed activities. Perhaps of most concern, many
people reported having witnessed, or experienced sexual assault and/or
significant violations of sexual boundaries. When you combine the power of
sexual dis-inhibition and raging libido, with lowered pain threshold and losing
consciousness, a regular consequence is an inability to give consent, or know
if a partner has consented. This can cause considerable inter and intra psychic
conflict when the drugs wear off and the community is left wondering if
everyone involved was truly a willing participant.

As someone who has been working in
men’s sexual health for over 20 years, I’m acutely aware that helping people
trapped by ChemSex requires a multi-disciplinary approach. As well as competent
drug awareness and educated sexual health support, therapists need to be
trained in Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Diversity (GSRD) issues and
psycho-sexually trained to help clients develop sober sexuality. Regrettably
for many in the ChemSex community, there is a belief that sex can no longer be
enjoyable without drugs and that experiencing the joy, validation and intimate
connection sex can bring, is impossible without them. It is my sincere hope that
my work at the Laurel Centre will complement the work of others in this field
and that by providing a ChemSex recovery community, we can help clients to discover
their beliefs are wrong.