Wolowitz (watching America's Next Top Model): Oh, look! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of... what a coincidence... it's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.

Sheldon: Hi, Mom, how are you?But, Mom, she keeps sitting in my spot. And she touched my food. Okay, yes, I took her clothes, but she started it. (throwing a fit) No, that's not fair. Why should I have to apologize? I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. All right! Goodbye. (hangs up) (to Leonard) Did you tell on me?Leonard: Are you kidding me? I already have 2 strikes

Penny: This has gotten way out of hand, okay. I've done some stupid things, you've done some stupid things. How about we just call it even, and move on with our lives?Sheldon: I've done no stupid things.Penny: Look, you've gotta meet me halfway here.Sheldon: I am meeting you halfway. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things.

Penny: What was my first strike?Sheldon: March 18th, you violated my rule about forwarding email humor. Penny: I did?Sheldon: The photo of the cat who wants to "Has Cheeseburger?"Penny: Oh, come on, everybody loves Lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell because they're cats.Sheldon: I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me internet banality. Strike one. Touching my food. Strike two.

Sheldon: *On computer screen* Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it, or you may apologize to me.

Sheldon: (On computer screen) Hello, puny insects, as a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.Leonard: Thanks a lot, Howard.Howard: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.

Penny: Where are my clothes?Sheldon: Your clothes?Penny: Yes. I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.Sheldon: Really? Despite the sign that says: "Do not leave laundry unattended?"