Where Stuff Gets Rated

Tag: bananas

Named after Elvis Presley’s manager and modeled after Elvis Presley’s favorite sandwich, this is a banana-flavored doughnut with peanut butter icing covered with bacon. Like Elvis himself, it’s both inventive and derivative, and is delicious and absolutely will kill you. 4.0/5

These are banana flavored spongecake with snack cake filling. Essentially they’re banana Twinkies nobody bothered to close so the filling squirts out of the sides. Banana spongecake is better than regular spongecake but snack cake filling on my face is a deal-breaker. I’m just going to give them whatever I gave Twinkies, which I’m not going to look up but I remember was low and that I suggested radioactive post-apocalypse cockroaches wouldn’t eat them. 0.3/5

So many foods make a big deal about how they are “fresh, never frozen.” But there’s a curious alchemy that happens when you freeze a banana that makes it, already my favorite fruit, even more delicious. We ought to turn more fruits into popsicles, just to see what happens. Peaches, maybe. Or watermelons. On another note, guess how many times I had to sing Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl to type this out. Hint: it is more than three. 4.9/5

Now we’re talking! Ben & Jerry’s struck gold, and under that gold was this delicious ice cream. We’ve got banana ice cream, and we’ve already established bananas are the cookies of fruit. We’ve got chocolate chunks, and I’m just going to say it right here: chocolate is the cookies of bean derivatives. We’ve got walnuts, and walnuts aren’t gross enough to make me pass on the other two awesome ingredients. So yes. This is cream is yes. 4.9/5

I did not exactly eat healthy as a child. We were a “cookies for breakfast” kind of house. Among other fruits, I never had fresh cherries, grapefruit, pineapple, or pears until I was old enough to drive. But there were always bananas in the house and I always ate them. Bananas: The Cookies of Fruit. 4.5/5