~ A site for my creative writing endeavors, writing prompt responses, and experimentation.

Vanity Plates ‘R Us

It’s seems I’ve developed a little obsession. Not one of those dangerous or creepy ones; a rather silly one, if I must admit it. Every since I got my own automobile vanity license plate signifying my writing business (Science Traveler), I’ve been seeing vanity plates everywhere. So I began collecting them.

Most plates (or tags, as some folks call them) follow standard patterns of letters and/or numbers. They are randomly assigned by the state DMV when you register your car. Boring. Most states also offer the option of picking your own plate designation, presumably to draw attention to your particular passion, hence the term vanity plates.

Giving in to my newfound obsession, I’ve noticed some common themes. Many plates highlight the driver’s career. For example, my SCITRVL is joined by the likes of UROLADY (a female urologist). Others their favorite sports teams. [Interestingly, my area not only celebrates the local sports teams but also the New York and Boston teams.] God and/or religious themes seem to be popular forms of license plate proselytizing (I particularly liked PIUS XII; look it up if you don’t get the connection).

Speaking of proselytizing, drivers of the all-electric Tesla cars love to rub oil on the faces of fossil fuel cars drivers with plates like GAS GONE, NO GAS, WUTS GAS. One Tesla driver paid homage to the man whom provided the name: NIKOLA. The electric Chevy Volt joined the fun with GA5 FREE.

The “5” in place of an “S” in that last one highlights the games drivers have to play to force fit their preferred idea when there isn’t room. “5”s become “S”s. “3”s become “E”s. “4”s don’t replace letters, they go for whole words (IAM4ARTS). “8”s are particularly useful to form words such as GR8 SHOT (Great Shot) and DEVI8 (Deviate).

It’s clear that many of the ideas are not original. Imagine showing up at Starbucks to buy your egregiously expensive soy latte, only to park your STRBCK next to a STRBUK. Of course, STARBUK and other variations were already taken. You know Bohemian Rhapsody fans who picked QU33N and QWEEN are envious of the guy who got the purer idolatry tag QUEEN.

I wonder if the driver of XMAS GUY ever parked next to 1GRINCH. And what does the guy with DOUBT, doubt? Is FRAUDI someone flaunting their fraudulent practices, or are they a German married lady named Diana?

One of my favorites is YNOT TRI.

In any case, I’ve “collected” photographs of hundreds of vanity license plates from several states. I’ve been thinking of starting a Facebook page to encourage the use of vanity plates as writing prompts. Something to do when I can find the time.

Until then, feel free to send photos of your favorite vanity plates. I would love to add them to my collection.

August of ’17… The result of a very long motorcycle ride. Think it’s going away next spring. Getting old enough to sacrifice the fuel economy for comfort (and safety).

Reminded me of an old friend (now teaching in Hawaii) and his wife. Their only car was a mid-’80’s Chevrolet “Sprint” (I think they were actually a re-badged Suzuki), with a 1-liter, 3-cylinder… unbelievably gutless, especially considering the hills and altitude here. So you’d have plenty of time to read their plate — “50 MPG”.

I was refused a Nevada Atomic Test Site vanity plate for my old yellow truck. I liked the original, 6-character, “mushroom cloud” design, but they recalled them pretty quickly. The second generation plate could take five characters. I applied for “IGLOW”, but the DMV has no sense of humor. I think the current third gen plates can only take four characters next to a vertical “AT”.

I can barely get into the local Starbuck’s parking, especially in the summer. But then, I can barely get out of the local independent coffee shop’s parking in the winter (icy slope). I suspect the latter will have more vanity plates around here.

Ah yes, now I remember the SPIN2. The IGLOW one would have been appropriate (actually, I hope not so literally) but I can understand why they wouldn’t allow it. I found a list of plates various DMVs have rejected, mostly for profanity and rather obvious innuendo.

There are a few Starbucks within walking distance of my house, and a few more a short drive. The one I usually go to is a little over 1.5 miles away and gives me a good walk before and after my Frappuccino.