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Monday, June 2, 2008

Who said they were counting down days until school was over? It surely wasn't me! Oh my gosh, if today is a preview of how this summer is going to be, I'm packing my bags and leaving now.

I kept Lexi home from school today because although I was 99% sure that the vomiting was due to her headache, I was uncomfortable sending her to school until I saw if she was feeling ok today. I figured I'd take her in around lunchtime as long as she was feeling ok. Unfortunately she got another headache late this morning, so I gave her some medicine and just kept her home all day. Jackson woke up with a headache this morning and by the time it went away, there was only an hour and a half left of school, so I just kept him home all day too.

My kids are smart. Seriously, they're pretty bright kids. So, why, why, WHY is it that I have to tell them at least 20 times a day that food is NOT allowed in the family room? WHY? I left the kids eating breakfast at the table in order to take a shower and when I came out, there was a bowl of cereal - milk and all - spilled all over the family room carpet. The carpet that Joe just shampooed. Of course, it's finally summer here so the milk is starting to smell wonderful in this heat. Lovely.

Then, because the sour milk soaked carpet wasn't quite enough, they took clay into the family room and smooshed some pretty blue and yellow globs into the carpet. I can understand why they did this as I only told them 4000 times to keep all Play-Doh and clay at the kitchen table at all times under penalty of death. It's perfectly understandable that they didn't comprehend my instructions.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys to keep the Play-Doh at the table??? Do you remember The Great Play-Doh Prohibition of 2005? If I see a single crumb of clay in the family room ever again, there will be a repeat of The Great Play-Doh Prohibition and I promise you I will not allow a single container of any sort of modeling compound within 20 miles of our house!"

I kicked decided to take the little ones outside at that point. We have a small tree in our backyard and the branches aren't strong enough to hold a child. I had to pull Clay out of that tree five times. "Clay, you can't climb that tree! That tree isn't big enough. Get down now!" Seriously, why is it that what I say goes in one ear and out the other? I know he can hear me. The ENT who inserted his ear tubes assured me of that. So what the heck????????????????

Then, as I was copying some recipes, I heard a blood curdling scream from the backyard. I looked up and saw Clay standing on one foot by the picnic table. I ran outside, thinking I was going to have another child in a cast and saw Clay standing there, a trail of blood behind him. I ran back inside and grabbed a washcloth, returned to Clay and put it on his foot which was covered in blood and dripping all over the patio. After a couple minutes, it finally stopped enough for me to assess the damage. He sliced open his heel on something sharp in the grass. (Shocking that there would something sharp hidden in my backyard, I know.) Because my kids never wear shoes (must get that from their father. A-hem) he cut his foot. I cleaned and bandaged him up and then instated the "You Must Wear Shoes in the Backyard at ALL Times" rule so my kids have a new warning to ignore.

At one point today, Jackson ate the last Italian ice in the house. Brooklyn saw him take it and decided she wanted one too. He offered to share with her, but that wasn't good enough for the brat Brooklyn, so she repeated FORTY-SEVEN times, "I wan' mine own. I wan' mine own. I wan' mine own. I wan' mine own." I swear - 47 times. Yes, I counted.

And if Clay doesn't learn how to control that temper of his, I'm shipping him off to military school. Just because he doesn't get his way, does NOT mean he can whip every toy within his reach across the house. And during one time-out today, he drew on his carpet with marker. Charming, no?

But that's not the absolute best part of my day, oh no. Like I said, it's finally summer here so the windows are open. The best part of my day was when I treated all my neighbors to my lunatic-like yelling and screaming at my kids until the veins in my temple actually burst. They're hiding in their houses, cowering behind their couches now. Well, either that or they're calling DCFS.

Don't forget to check out my other blog HERE.And make a note that I'm going to be changing my blog over to my website soon. You'll be able to find it at BecauseISaidSo.com.

75 comments:

I hear ya, but I can say I "used" to be in that position with my kids. I realized they were not getting the right consequences for their poor choices so I stepped up the discipline and you know, it worked and I tried to be as consistent as I could. If you want to know more details about how I implemented it email me at slfunk3763@hotmail.com. Now, to be honest, my days run pretty smoothly.

Oops, also familiar. I could save my voice if i recorded the returnable lines. Eat your breakfast at the table, not in front of the tv. Pffffff.Militairy school? that's an idea! Do you have an adress? And do they take foreign kids as well? (we're from the Netherlands)

Well, of course the PlayDoh still strays away from the table. Don't you know you have to tell them FIVE thousand times to keep it at the table? Four thousand times is nowhere near enough. (We will not discuss food in the living room, the bane of my existence.)

Mine will all be home all day after June 9th. On the one hand, I won't have to get up and get them dressed, fed, and out the door.

You need a Bissel, Little Green Stain Machine. It is great for getting up spills like the milk on the carpet. I got it when my daughter was first born and had horrible reflux combined with soy and dairy intolerance. I love it.

Dawn: HAHAHAHAHA>There are NO comments..None at all..You must have scared everyone away. Ya Know: Military School is NOT such a bad idea. Wouldn't it be nice to get back a polite,well-dressed and well-scrubbed bunch of kids who call you Ma'am or Mother..and who have received sufficient first-aid training that they can patch up the younger ones while you take small sips of your Julep..and ring the bell for your hand-maiden...But seriously: Can't you somehow speed up the process for getting that book into print? Have other publishing companies phoned yet with offers?

Wow. You've had a REALLY rotten day. And at the time of your posting, the day was only about half over! I hope it got better from that point, and I hope it gives you some tiny shred of comfort to know that reading about this actually makes me feel better about my own rotten day because I know I'm not alone. Hang in there. Hopefully your kids will be in bed soon, you'll get some much-needed sleep, and tomorrow will be a better day!

Your just cleaned milk stained carpet and crumbly play doh can meet my just cleaned toothpaste stained carpet and scribbled on window sills/walls/molding .... Yes, markers are not allowed out of the kitchen area, but somehow they wonder off, all by themselves, and write all over my walls.

If the yelling so the neighbors can hear is really true, then thank you for making me not feel so bad about when I do it. I swear sometimes I sit and wait for DFCS to knock at my door after I've lost it. (Of course, I'm just plain loud to begin with.) And if your yelling was an exaggeration, well then....so was mine! LOL!

If I were in your place they would find me rocking back in forth sucking my thumb in a corner somewhere while the house fell apart around me. Seriously, I'm losing it here with 3 of them and I don't have any solid summer plans for them. I'm SCARED.

What kind of discipline techniques do you use? Time out just doesn't seem to be cutting it in this house. My 4 year old actually seems to enjoy time out.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to find out that I am not the only mom whose kids repeatedly ignore rules like the no eating in the family room. I think my kids really do want to see my head spin around or something. Have a great summer! :)

Oh Dawn, my neighbors must think I am a raving lunatic too. That is one drawback of summer . . . everyone can hear you scream bloody murder at your children. And just in case they couldn't hear us, last week my 6 year old opened the bathroom window to it's full open position and yelled out "Citizens of the neighborhood, my buttocks are cracked" Charming.

Oh my goodness!!!! And here I was thinking it was just MY toddlers who wouldn't listen! WHAT WAS I THINKING?? Somehow though when you write about it, it just doesn't seem as bad as my children not listening to me. I swear between the temper tantrum yelling the girls do, or me yelling at them, I'm surprised one of my neighbors hasn't called DCYF on us. I guess the selective hearing starts pretty young.Thanks for making me feel better.

God DAwn you sound so much like me!!!! I too have those children minus 1. Tho my oldest are a few years older and should be wiser too. Yea right. My 15 year old son was out to eat with an adult friend of ours at a place where our neighbor is a waitress, This RUDE lady actually said to my son Wow Luke it must be nice eating with someone who doesnt scream 24/7 like your mother. Too which Luke replied well at least my mother doesnt have a son who is a felon. LOL Thats my baby. Tho I yell my kids know I love em. Thats just what happens when you have 7 people mushed in a house and Mom is the only one who cleans cooks and slaves crack at times.

You mentioned Clays cut foot. Reminded me of my 5 year old who 2 years ago broke a votive candle holder in the bathroom and was trying to clean it up and stepped on a piece of glass. I saw the blood all over the place and checked his foot out and saw a small piece and got it out. Well this happened on a Friday evening. Saturday he refused to put his full weight on it and the same on Sunday we looked at it and it wasnt puffy or anything but Monday we took him to doctors and there was a good size piece still in there and the was triangle shaped but had turned so the big part was on top so doctor had to numb and cut his foot to remove it!!!!!! Talk about feeling like a horrible mother!!!!!!!

My kids are brilliant.So why do they not know what to do every morning of their lives if I don't remind them??Sometimes I am just a tiny bit sarcastic and I tell them, please make your bed,brush your teeth,and feed the cat, oh and remember to breathe.I know how you feel...cept I only have 2 kids.

So funny you mentioned yelling for the neighbors to hear- I was outside raving like a lunatic just this evening at the kids and was wondering what the neighbors must think. I am sure all the neighborhood kids think I am the meanest mom on the block...I give them popsicles though- so I hope not!

Oh my goodness! I'm in the W. burbs and our first day of summer was today too. I only have one, and I'm ready for school to be back in session as well. After unclogging a toilet, cleaning up spaghetti sauce, spilled chocolate milk, and answering 50 million questions, bring on year round school, please!!!!

Okay, I'll start this by saying I KNOW my kids are not perfect, and I could list the reasons why, but I really don't understand this at all. I have four daughters, they are now ages 10 to 18. We've had no broken bones, no stitches, and no ER trips. We've never had writing on the walls, playdoh in the carpet, or spills on the couch. When my first one was little, the rules were set like "no standing on the couch", and "no climbing indoors". All food and drinks are at the table... ALL If she disobeyed, she was punished. (Yes, spanked if she was outright defiant) It seemed to have a trickle-down effect on the others. I guess if they realized that she didn't do certain things, they better not either. People often comment on my daughters behavior. I've been asked 'my secret'. Here it is: When raising children, you get exactly what you expect. If you expect your toddler to throw toys, they will. If you expect your teen to talk back, ditto. But if you expect better, teach until you get it. They'll be happier and so will you. Parenting is not for the lazy, but for the diligent and consistent. I do enjoy your blog, but don't enjoy the repeated offenses that your children seem to know they can get away with. Sorry if this comes across rude, that isn't my intent at all.

Michele, I don't write my blog for people like you who, apparently, are perfect parents. I write it to make those of us who love our kids but sometimes have difficult days feel better and not so alone. I'm glad you have your kids so well trained. Congratulations. For the rest of you who understand that sometimes it's difficult and frustrating especially when you have kids with ADHD or other special needs who can no longer take medication and have a heck of a hard time controlling themselves, read on.

It's good to hear that I'm not the only one looking out the window to see if CS is coming "to take them away haha" after I freak on them! I wish they would some days though, and I only have 2!!I'm hoping summer is better, cuz I've noticed that the only times I scream at them is to get up and out the door for school and at bedtime. I'm dreading it all the same anyway, just gonna try to keep busy and have a great summer!

There must be something in the air. None of my children have listened to a word I've said....for the last three days....at least. I actually checked the calendar to see if the full moon was near....not even close! I have two boys on the autism spectrum, and once they are off their routine it's all over. Combine that with a soon-to-be-four-year-old girl who thinks she is in charge of the world and it's enough to make any mother go screaming for the hills. Yep, it's gonna be a looooooong summer. I feel your pain, and I have only half the children you do!

First off your comment to Michele was PERFECT! I know why you write your blog...it is for ME to realize that someone else out there is having the exact same day I am and still survived! No matter how many times I say some things ("Please do not touch anything") some days are as hard for my kids as they are for me. Thanks Dawn, for making me feel better about having these rough days, and for having a few glasses of wine with dinner tonight!

Ah the crazy days of summer. I think this is why they have Christmas in July sales. Just a reminder that if we think it is crazy now, wait 6 more months. And Michele, I am going to say as nicely as I can, Dawn has hundred, no thousands, no millions, no billions of fans. You are going to get chewed out so I'm not saying a word.

Dawn--I had a dream with you in it. You were renewing your vows with Joe. The ceremony was at your house. Only like 10 other people were there. Then the kids came out of their rooms. Then you asked me to help get the play-doh out from under your kids nails because you didn't want to get any on your dress.I don't know what I ate before I went to bed.

So now I came here and saw that you posted about your kids and play-doh. Very odd.

You poor darl. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. I too have loads of days like that but I must admit my kids are so scrared that I may take the play station or some other toy away from them that they actually do listen to me.The kids room upstairs was so messy the other day and I was sick of shuffling through it that I went up there and just put empty garbage bags on the back of the couch they all panicked and set to cleaning up right away lol.

Wow! I'm going to say AGAIN how glad I am that you write your blog!! I also have days like these, and I only have 3 kids. We are in our Great Play Doh Prohibition now...but the No Food Outside of the Kitchen is a rule that was apparently made to be broken. (as far as my kids are concerned anyway) I wonder if we could have a Food Prohbition Phase? I could lose weight AND have a clean floor! HA!!!!

Sorry I got nothing for ya - no words could possibly comfort or easy that kinda day. So ((((hugs)))) from one frazzled Mom to another. BTW, my neighbours also have lovely impressions of my 'indoor' 'outdoor' parenting ;p

Do they allow girls in military school? My second daughter sounds like a mirror image of Clay. She is what I call a boy in de guise. She can look so cute in a dress but has a mean cross hook and temper. My days sound pretty close to what you described. I wonder if it is something in the air or not. Jennifer In Wi

You mentioned Clay has ear tubes. Do any of your other kids? What do you do when you take them swimming? Do you have the "custom" fit earplugs? My 6 year old daughter is getting tubes put in tomorrow and we want start swim lessons next week. She's a mermaid and would prefer to live underwater if she could. Just wondering what you might have done for ear plugs. Of course the dr. wants us to buy the custom fit ones that are 10 times the price of what you would want to pay - then I need to worry about not losing them, which we all know how kids are. They're just so responsible. LOL. Any helpful hints/tips would be great! Thanks!

Wow -- I have a "Clay" at my house too -- but at least with Kyle it's the stuffed animals that come flying down the stairs every time he gets angry about something (me saying no usually is a good trigger)

BUT -- since he used to punch me in the arm, I much prefer the stuffed animals flying down the stairs. And when he calms down, he picks them up and returns them to his room.

I only have 2, but LOVE reading about your days --especially when I am having a trying day with my 12 year old with PMS!!!!!!! Now those are worse fits than when she was 2!

Thank you for the daily laughs Dawn! I work full time so I am not home with my kids all summer. So why is it on weekends I look forward to Monday to go back to work? LOL. I commend you for what you do each and every day which is being a mom and entertaining all your fans with your daily stories. I only have 2 but can relate to you so many times with things that my 3 year old does. Thanks for the great blog, can't wait for the book!

I have a 14 month old and he peed on the bathroom floor when we were putting him in the bathtub. So, I start to clean it up and my husbands comment was "Don't worry about it, it was just a little bit of pee." That worries me. I can clean up a little pee, but I'm concered that I can never leave my husband alone with the baby because who knows how much pee will be left to ferment!

Yesterday was a pretty sucky day for me as a parent, as well. I found myself yelling at my kids and fuming all evening. Repeating the same thing over and over and over and over... drives me nuts! I'm trying to yell less, but it's hard if they only listen if you yell. And I only have two. Thanks for making me feel better about it and be able to laugh. Dawn, you're awesome! I can't wait for your book! Sorry about Lexi's headaches. I get migraines and can remember having a couple as a kid. (The throwing up is an indicator of migraines, as I'm sure you already know.) I don't know what the current treatment methods are for kids, but I've always found that if you wait until you actually have a real headache, it's too late, you'll have to wait it out or use something really powerful (like narcotics in the ER.) However, if you take something to kill it the minute you think a headache is coming on, you can nip it in the bud with an over-the-counter (and, god forbid for your children, a little caffeine.) You might help Lexi learn to recognize the start of a headache. Also, try to identify the triggers. Too much of some kind of food, dehydration (this is a major one for me,) too much sun, stress, .... I know this is more information than you probably need, because you've probably talked to your doctor and done your own research, but for some reason I feel compelled to give people advice about such things. lol.

lol- sounds like a typical day in my house! I swear all our neighbors have 1 child each and they think I am a horrible mother. I watched John and Kate plus 8 last night and they said they never used to yell but they figured out that they had to to get over the noise!

I was going to mention allergies for the headaches too.

And Michele, bravo to you. You can use your windex to clean your glass house instead of wiping crayon off. Bravo.

Here's the deal that apparently Michelle hasn't figured out. Children are DIFFERENT and not all of them are as moldable as others. Most parents with more than one child figure out that having a great kid sometimes has a lot more to do with the child's personality than the parent. And even the best behaved children have their bad days! I was one of those kids who didn't outright misbehave for fear of punishment where my sister seemed to need proof that she would be punished so misbehaving was like a sport to her. Same parents yet 2 totally different results. Hang in there Dawn-my children have 4 weeks off due to starting year round school in July. Praise the Lord for that!! I only have 2 weeks that aren't planned with activities and I'm dreading them! What a wimp I am!

Here's a discipline idea...you know how Austin doesn't want you to come to lunch with him? Well you could always do a delayed discipline...you can choose not to listen to his request for all those years he didn't listen to yours! So just tell the little ones that their time is coming and you will return the favor at a time most opportune for you! And honestly money has been a good deterant (sp?) for ours-we charge them 25 cents when they forget things that cost us money-leaving lights on, leaving half full glasses of milk at the table to ferment all day, etc. It's worked better than spanking!

Thanks for your reply to Michelle. I would like to share this with you and hope it will make you and some of your reader feel a little better.

I went to a parenting class once when someone in the audience had asked the parenting expert (for the lack of better term) why some people have less problems with kids than others. What he said was this:

1). Most people have problems with their kids behavior, spanking or not spanking. So kids who are misbehaving are a norm. (It doesn't mean we have to accept this or do nothing about it.)

2). Those who have less discipline problems are just lucky. The same way as some people who can eat whatever they want without gaining a pound when the rest of us are watching every morsel to be able to fit into anything other than a mumu. Some people are just lucky that way.

When he said that, I felt a tremendous amount of relief. It is not that you are a bad parent if your kids misbehave or don't listen(and that was his point), it's just that you have different kids than those parents whose kids are perfect angels.

And if I had a free afternoon? I would rather spend it in your house, mayhem included, than with some judgmental know it all.

Hi Dawn,I Love reading your blog.I do have a question, my 6 yr. old has a speach problem. For instance he calls sherbert shorebert. I think its kinda cute so thats what I call it now. Do you correct your little ones or just go with the flow?

Hi Dawn,I think the comments already posted say it all but here's one more "Thank You" anyway. Yesterday was a particulary bad day with all three boys (7, 5, & 3) and I was feeling really bad as a mother, too. Why do I have the only kids that don't listen, why do I have to repeat myself a thousand times, why do they break every rule I make, why do I have a breaking point where I have to scream to get results, and etc. and etc. I worry about those neighbors, too. I feel like I do the walk of shame when I realize I yelled a little too loud and a little too crazy. Then the guilt sets in. I hate yelling at my kids. I have good disipline in place, too with consequences. I have a good "Reward Chart/treasure chest" system too. Sometimes that works and sometimes not. I have kids with problems and without problems and you know what, kids are still kids. They are not perfect and neither am I. They have bad days and so do I. It's called being human. There's a lot of love in my house though. Reading your post today was a saving grace. It reminded me I'm not alone and my kids are not the "only" ones that don't listen and etc. It picked me up so that I can start anew today. Thank you.

Dawn, let me 'delurk' for a second to thank you for telling me about a real home with real children, with whom I can relate. I have a few friends whose talk of their lives and their children drive me insane - all about delightful things like cranking up the music and dancing and laughing with the children every day, and cooking only healthy meals for their children that eat anything, and chasing to 27 events for each child - all of which are fun and enjoyable and full of hugs. My husband has to talk me down off the ledge after I read those emails, because I'm tired and crabby with my kids on a regular basis, I cook processed food or we eat out on a regular basis, and my daughter had to be dragged, objecting loudly, to her only extracurricular activity all last year, only to balk and refuse to listen to her dance teacher. My husband patiently reminds me that some people just refuse to talk about anything they see as less than perfect things in their life, and that these friends probably find themselves yelling at their kids and just wishing for some blissful moments of peace just as often as I do. It is such a relief to read your blog and know that I am not alone, and that loving my kids does not mean a chaos-free life, and surely does not mean I will never yell at them, and that Play Doh on the carpet does not mean I'm a bad parent. I know it but it's nice to affirm it.

Dawn,I just have to reiterate about the same discipline not working for two entirely different kids...my first son was, apparently, atypical (according to my friends) in that by age two, he was completely reasonable and behaved 99% of the time, and always when we went anywhere. His younger brother (whom I swear is related to Clay!) is now 4 and no matter how much I try to use the same stragegies on him, he doesn't care. So, it's tantrums, screaming, hitting, throwing, etc., and lots of yelling on my part for the neighbors to hear. I take away toys, privileges, etc. to no avail. He just wants to act the way he wants to act, and doesn't much get affected by consequences. And seeing the older one behaving and not getting in trouble doesn't work either. I'm just hoping he grows out of it, and soon!

Additonally, I am a high school teacher, so I know a thing or two about getting kids to behave. I can get an entire room full of hormonal prom-crazy eleventh graders to discuss Shakespeare, but I can't get one little four-year-old to stop having tantrums? It's got to be the kid. (at least, I keep telling myself that!)

As for summer vacation, I am so glad that here on the East coast we have until the END of June before the kids are home all day! I never understood why parents couldn't wait for school to start again (that was before I had any kids of my own, mind you), but looking down the barrel of my two boys home together with me all day, every day, I'm dreading it. At least I'll have your blog to look forward to every morning! It really does help me to know that I'm not alone. Thanks!

Oh I have had many days like that, where I found myself yelling so much that I was certain the neighbors must've been calling CPS on me. And it always happens when I have the windows open, so they get a really loud rendition of the "Beth is a bitchy mommy" show. *groan*

You are not alone, sister! *hugs* Remember how Bill Cosby used to say that kids are brain damaged and that's why they can't remember something you've told them a million times? Its true!

HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, that comment about Brooklyn made me laugh so hard I cried!

Oh, and thanks for your tolerance post...I was one of those judgemental women...until I had my first baby. Now I hope I don't judge...but I wish there was a PC thing to do to help strangers in public with crazy toddlers!

Several years ago, I heard on the radio about a study which had been done, showing that the part of the brain that understands consequences of actions doesn't fully develop for boys until their early twenties. For girls it was early teens. You know, the every day decision making... If I do this, this will/could happen. The light bulb went on for me… Boys/Young men may seem irresponsible and risk takers at times, but my eyes are now opened that God made them to be so and they are still developing. Granted I don't have kids of my own yet, but as I work with youth, I have more patience knowing this.

Several years ago, I heard on the radio about a study which had been done, showing that the part of the brain that understands consequences of actions doesn't fully develop for boys until their early twenties. For girls it was early teens. You know, the every day decision making... If I do this, this will/could happen. The light bulb went on for me… Boys/Young men may seem irresponsible and risk takers at times, but my eyes are now opened that God made them to be so and they are still developing. Granted I don't have kids of my own yet, but as I work with youth, I have more patience knowing this.

Blogger was being dumb last night when I tried to comment on this... but I totally had the SAME type of day you had yesterday (including the windows being open and the neighbors probably thinking we're all lunatics)! I only have 2 boys (third baby due in Sept.) right now, but boy did they give me a run for my money yesterday. Thank you for posting this detailed account of the happenings in Meehan land because it really got me thinking that I'm not the only one who sometimes struggles just to make it thru the day with everyone alive and in one piece.

Wow...rough day, huh? I have only ONE child to contend with and I found marker (washable, thank GOODNESS!) on her mirror, wall, bedroom door, and cabinet door. Of course, it was black marker and some of it didn't come off. And, like your Great Play-doh Prohibition, right now, we are in the Great Marker (and ink pad) Prohibition at our house. Ink pads are banned too, because somehow the covers just keep coming off on their own, so the ink pads have gotten dried out, which means that naturally, running water on the ink pad is the way to get ink back into the ink pad. This, of course, leads to lovely pink, purple and blue streaks in the bathroom sink. I think it would be best if my daughter never met your children. ;) Too many ideas would be swapped!

For some reason I feel the need to clarify that my comment about overdosing on birth control was meant to be tongue in cheek, and certainly to make you chuckle, not to judge you or make you feel bad.

Sometimes, when I watch my sister with her daughter, I think, "Good Lord in Heaven, I'm not ready for this crap."

My niece is so spunky. She's strong-willed and WAY smarter than she should be at 2 (when she hits someone, and my sister says, "Do you want to go to timeout?" She says, "Yes," and goes. Just like it's no big deal. It's infuriating and hilarious all at the same time).

While she's insanely difficult to deal with sometimes, I find her charming and I know that her personality is one of a kind and will really shine through when she gets older.

I guess my point is that what many label as "difficult" children generally end up to be much more interesting than those of us who spent our entire lives well-behaved and taking no risks.

Dawn, you ROCK! Don't ever let judgmental people get you down! We got your back, Girl!

I was a preschool teacher (3 and 4 year olds) and, believe me, EVERY child is different!!! During circle time, I'd have one child sitting nicely on the carpet, one child rolling around on the same carpet, another child hitting the quiet child in the back of the head, another child sitting in a time out chair; yet another child sitting at the table refusing to come to the carpet; and the list goes on and on.

I taught for five years (with 15-20 children in my class every year) and I never had the same type of child twice. I kid you not!

I know you don't need us to tell you how "normal" you are, but I just want to make sure you know we're right there with you!

Dawn,Thanks for being real. So many moms struggle and feel so alone in it all! You are a great mom who loves her kids...don't let these days pull you down. Instead, consider it a reminder of how much we need God's grace! And as Anne (from Anne of Green Gables) says,"tomorrow is brand new with no mistakes in it," so...start fresh again tomorrow!

Jillian Curtis doesn’t want her children to bring hate into the world.

So she and her sons, Jarrett, 10, and Josh, 11, are building a Holocaust memorial — their first major undertaking in their first month of homeschooling — to remember the 6 million Jews killed in the Holocaust. http://blog-me-til-midnight.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html#9211424222957951092

I'll go you one better than the neighbors hearing, how about one of your screaming fits being caught on the general voice mail at the office? Oh, YES, I had called the office earlier in the evening one night and my youngest was playing with the phone redialing the office over and over while Mommy was in the middle of making some sort of intelligent (and very loud) statements like "...See I can yell louder than all of you, so stop it and go to sleep RIGHT NOW!!!!!!.... I'm serious don't make me come up there!!!!" Not one of my better evenings. Fortunately, I was friends with the office manager and she deleted the messages after only playing them for one other person - who btw had 6 children. She played it for him because she initially thought it was his house not mine. ;)

Right there with you Dawn! I only have one child and it seems I can still manage to have the day that you had. How does that work? I know my child has some intelligence, and her hearing has been tested, so how can I tell her to not do something, like chase the dog, and yet she does it within 5 seconds of me telling her?

I think all kids under the age of, well, let's just say 8, have a filter in their brain that takes out the word "don't" and replaces the word "or" with "so". So when I say, "Honey, don't chase the dog or she'll get sick," she hears, "Honey, chase the dog so she'll get sick." That must be it.

Keep your chin up girl. Only 3 more 3 months until school starts again.

When I was probably about 5 or 6 (honestly so long ago now i can't remember.....) my DAD was supposed to be watching me while my mother was out running errands. His idea of watching me was sitting in front of the TV and checking on me once in awhile. SO, I proceeded to take play-doh, crushed up sweet-tarts (which is my dad's fav candy and he was sharing with me...probably right before dinner too....) water and sugar and mixed it all up together in one of those aluminum pie pans. Then I decided to paint the white walls of my room with it. I was grounded from having play-doh until my 18th birthday. To this day, the first time that I had play-doh since that day was when i got some for my daughter to play with. I even avoided it at friends' houses for fear of dad finding out I played with it. Your kids have it pretty lucky if they only had it banned for a year. :) I'd tell them that you know someone (albeit from a distance......) that had it banned for.....well...I guess life! LOL :) Oddly enough i'm still kinda reluctant to play with it......

Dawn, I have to say that I TOTALLY agree with you. Although I will admit that I am SOOO Happy I no longer have the four hour math fight with my 10 year old daughter every single night. School is a MUCH better place for the kids to be all day. I work during the day, thankfully only 2 minutes from my house. in one weeks time Kasandra (the 10 year year old) has roasted marshmallows on the gas stove top, made her own cake complete with suckers and chocolate kisses. started a water fight with the neaighborhood boys that out number her 6 to 1, completely Flooded my kitchen, and I do mean FLOOD! it took three hours to clean and I am still finding puddles of water, but I think the phone finally dried out, it still works at any rate, she stood outside the kitchen window and tried to spray her sister with the hose, she missed her sister but flooded the kitchen. OHHHH and the clincher, she got mad at her sister so she swung a large metal bar at the window and shattered it all over the porch. I am thankful at least that she hit the window and not her sisters head.(which she has tried to do in the past) I love to read your blog and laugh along with you. I am a bit worried that my one 10 year old can cause almost as much, ummmm... destruction, havoc, you get the point. and to those who THINK they have perfect children, YOU DON'T!! they are just to afraid to be themselves at home. I have a few nieces that are "perfect" when their parents are around. and when they are away from home, they are WILD!! a bit more wild than my own. I would much rather my kids get out their "energy" at home, because when they visit someone else's house they behave wonderfully. I really wanted to say Thank you for your blog, and I will for sure be buying your book the second it is available. Thanks for reminding us all to "LAUGH". Kids are Kids, learn to laugh and love em.

oh yeah... one more thing, maybe the person looking for Butt Polish all the time is really trying to find Boudreaux's Butt Paste, maybe..... *smiles*

Oh thank you for being real and screaming like a lunatic, I feel so much better about myself. I try to be patient and remember they're just kids, but sometimes, I just need a chill pill and it isn't available. I asked one of my sweet sons in exasperation how many times I was going to have to say not to take food out of the kitchen before he would get it, and he responds so very sincerely, "a million?" (try a billion)

I just wanted to tell Veggiemom that I have no boys at my house, just three girls. And they drive me insane on a daily basis. I don't think boys have the market cornered on bad behavior. 5 year-old girls can be especially difficult when they have two teenaged sisters, and said 5 year-old girl thinks she is a teenager too. Oy. She's not a teenager...she's a freaking baboon.

But I digress.

Dawn, love you, love your blog, and to the naysayers out there who have perfect kids because they are such perfect parents? They are LYING. You keep on keepin' it real, and I can't wait to read your book!

I once spilled milk into the carpet, only I was 23, and really had no excuse. It smelled terrible for a week. Then I poured some vinegar water (half white vinegar, half water) over the area, let it sit for a minute, then soaked it up with rags. I repeated this a couple times and magically the smell was GONE permanently. My mom advised me on this, and said it was some sort of chemical reaction that did it.

Hopefully, if you haven't gotten rid of the smell already, this will help you!