Tuesday, May 24, 2011

This Is Happening

I'll be leaving again, for two months. This time tomorrow I'll be in NYC getting ready to board my flight, and this time the day after tomorrow I'll be in Lebanon. That is of course if God ordains that the volcano that just started erupting again in Iceland and the airstrikes in Libya don't cause a problem, that the plane[s] doesn't have mechanical difficulties, and that I don't go and get lost somewhere along the way. So I'm planning on being there anyway––and there have already been a lot of things in the last few weeks that I thought might keep me from getting there, but amazingly everything has come through so far.

In some ways I really don't want to go and leave my family and home again right now. I'm gone far too much these days. I'm also, as I almost always am, torn between things that I think I should be doing, and the fact that much of the time I really don't want to do anything. At the same time though, I'm really ready to go. Ready for a new adventure, new friends, and a new perspective to see the world from. Ready to learn and do something real––or at the very least, be frustrated trying to do something real instead of being frustrated with myself for not trying.

These two weeks at home have been great, and I've been blessed with a time that has been relaxing, but also been able to accomplish more than I had hoped for in the way of preparation. I think the fact that it's time to go now is really a good thing more than a bad thing.

I am drinking some coffee right now and enjoying a somewhat rare moment of confidence, and it is quite probable I'll feel completely different about it soon, and quite nearly inevitable that I'll feel completely different about it in the next two days to two months. Right now though, I'm excited about it.