Similar to the foregoing,
in some respects, is "The Wadds and the Wears",— which John Mactaggart,
the writer of The Galloridian Encyclopedia, describes as (in his day)
"the most celebrated amusement of the Ingle-rind;" in the south-west of
Scotland. As in the "Wadds", the players are seated round the hearth.
One in the ring (says Mactaggart), speaks as follows:-

I have been awa' at the
wadds and the wears,
These seven lang years
And's came hame a puir broken ploughman
What will ye gie me to help me to my trade?

He may either say he's a
"puir broken ploughman," or any other trade; but since he has chosen
that trade, some of the articles belonging to it must always be given or
offered, in order to recruit him. But the article he most wants he
privately tells one of the party, who is not allowed, of' course, to
offer him any-thing, as he knows the thing, which will throw the
offerer in a wadd, and must be avoided as much as
possible--for to be in a wadd is a very serious matter, as shall
afterwards be explained. Now the one on the left hand of the poor
ploughman makes the first offer, by way of answer to what above was
said: "I'll gie ye a coulter to help ye to your trade."

The ploughman answers, "I
don't thank ye for your coulter, I haae ane already." Then another
offers him another article belonging to the ploughman's business, such
as the mool-brod. but this also is refused; another, perhaps,
gives the sock, another the stilts, another the spattle,
another the naigs, another the naig-graith, and so on;
until one gives the soam, which was the article he most wanted,
and was the thing secretly told to one, and is the thing that throws the
giver in a wadd, out of which he is relieved in the following
manner:-

The ploughman says to the
one in the wadd, "Whether will ye hae three questions and twa
commands, or three commands and twa questions, to answer or gang on wi',
sae that ye may win oot o' the wadd? For the one so fixed has
always the choice which of these alternatives to take. Suppose he takes
the first, two commands and three questions, then a specimen of these
may run so:-

"I command you to kiss
the crook," says the ploughman, which must be completely obeyed
by the one in the wadd—his naked lips must salute the sooty
implement.

"Secondly,'' saith the
ploughman, "I command ye to stand up in that neuk, and say:-

'Here stan' I, as stiffs a
stake,
Wha'll kiss me for pity's sake?'"

Which must also be done;
in a corner of the house must he stand and repeat that couplet, till
some tender-hearted lass relieves him. Now for the questions which are
most deeply laid, or so touching to him, that he finds much
difficulty to answer them.

"Firstly, then, Suppose
ye were sittin' aside Maggie Lowden and Jennie Logan. your twa great
sweethearts, what ane o'm wad ye ding ower, and what ane wad ye turn to
and clap and cuddle?" He makes answer by choosing Maggie Lowden,
perhaps, to the great mirth of the party.

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