Archive for May, 2012

My least favorite party game? Scattergories. I consider myself a fairly intelligent guy. I’m not a simpleton, at least, but that’s the way Scattergories makes me feel. If you’ve never played, each of the players has a card with a list of things on it. Breeds of dogs, flowers, TV shows, etc. Someone rolls a […]

I’ve spent the last five days at the Junior College Division III World Series, which is a lot like the real World Series, except nobody gives a shit. Anyway, I’ve been working the public address system, which means I’ve spent fifteen hour days just announcing over and over again “Now batting, number six, Slappy McStinkerson.” […]

Okay, this is a weird story. And by “weird” I mean “absolutely friggin’ terrifying.” Police now say the shooting spree Monday night in Oklahoma City was not related at all to the Thunder winning their nearby playoff basketball game. You know, if you’re going to try and kill eight people on a Monday night, it’s […]

Craigslist has changed the way we shop. It’s also changed the way long-haul truckers pick up transsexuals, but that’s beside the point. I have some furniture I’ve been trying to get out of my house, and I figured Craigslist would be a good place to do that. It’s garage sale priced, which means it’s at […]

For those of you who are fans of sports, commercials, controversy, halftime shows, fistfights, and all of the other things that go into a Super Bowl, my annual award-winning* Super Bowl Timeline is up now at ProjectShanks.com, featuring lines like… 9:57pm – The Seahawks get a miracle catch to get the ball down inside the […]

For those of you looking for some extra comedy in your daily diet, I’m doing a wine review column for Project Shanks.com. And as some of you know, I didn’t actually drink any alcohol until I was forty, so bear in mind that everything I taste goes down pretty awful.