Robert has one of my favorite AR newsletters. I can hardly wait to read each one.
I so enjoyed this particular email I had to share it with all of you. I encourage you to
share this with all your AR friends and others. If you really want to become more informed
and empowered subscribe to Roberts' newsletter.,

IF I WERE A TERRORIST...(deedle daidle dum) by Robert Cohen

One month ago, Ingrid Newkirk, founder of the People for the Ethical Treatment of
Animals, commented something to the effect that she would welcome an outbreak of hoof and
mouth/foot and mouth disease in America.

I regretted reading her statement. After all, I was about to visit England, and
expected that such a comment might focus attention upon my lectures and might also
generate interest among members of the intelligence community. I did not look forward to a
visit from double-0-seven.

While touring Britain, I did make mental note of one familiar face while riding
the underground as I made my way from district to district. On the train to Bath, the face
wore short hair and at my lecture in Croyden, a pony tail. I wondered whether he detested
the touristy parts of Windsor Castle and Westminister as much as I did. I observed the
same clean shaven man in Harrods, and that mustached gent in Leicester square. His taste
in clothes ranged from white collar to blue. An identifying white paint mark on the
outside rear of his left boot made for easy identification. Talk about blowing one's
cover. Having no secrets to hide, and planning no covert actions, I did not worry...much.
In time, he became a family joke.

Before coming home, I was tempted to buy a Cuban cigar for my dad as a gift, but
imagined that USDA or customs agents would go through my baggage with their proverbial
fine tooth combs.

When I landed at New York's JFK airport on Sunday evening, the lines were short,
and I was the last one in line. (My luggage is always the last to come off the airplane.
Perhaps the baggage handlers despise the NOTMILK stickers.) Everybody before me went
through quickly. I warned my children, "They're saving the best for last." When
my turn came, the uniformed customs official asked, "Any fruits, vegetables, or
meat?" I shook my head. He waved me through. "I'll never be paranoid
again," I whispered to my kids.

On Monday morning, I was left a phone message by Irena Tutko, an investigator from
the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). I was being investigated for possible
acts of agricultural terrorism. I was told that somebody had lodged a complaint against
me, claiming that I was going to bring cattle diseases back from England and spread them
from sea to shining sea. God bless America.

"You guys really blew it," I teased. "Where were you last night
when I came back into the United States?"

"We thought that you were retuning on Monday," she responded.

"Not such great intelligence. Your $40 million dollar budget should be
increased to $400 million," I said.

I told Ms. Tutko that I do not believe in hurting animals. I would never do such a
thing. Use biological or chemical weapons and you are attacking my children. If you are
such a person, do not let me know about it. You will be my enemy. There are better ways to
win battles. Truth will win. By using chemical and biological weapons, we become worse
than our adversaries.

Now that I am aware of USDA's surveillance, I would like to share this with all of
my "fans."

If I was a terrorist, my autumn vacation plans would have already been made. How
could a terrorist visit thousands of farms and infect millions of cattle in one day?
Here's how:

WORLD DAIRY EXPO

If I had a vial of hoof/foot and mouth disease virus, where and when would be my
best opportunity to expose all of America's dairy and meat producers to this most dreaded
plague?

http://www.worlddairyexpo.com/

The World Dairy Exposition begins on October 3 and runs through October 7 in
Madison, Wisconsin. There will be 140,000 boots (70,000 dairy and meat producing visitors)
and 8,000 hooves (2,000 of America's finest cattle) to infect.

One spray nozzle, and the disease will travel to farms in every one of America's
states. One strategically placed squirt, and cloned animals and genetically engineered
monstrosities would be infected. They would all return the disease to the laboratories and
ranches.

Of course, I'm not planning to do this. That is not my style.

The way I see it, USDA has an interesting challenge.

At one time, their agenda was to protect American consumers. Today, it's to
protect meat and milk manufacturers. One day, truth will return to America. First, there
will be a revolution. A revolution of truth and justice. The Internet is our battleground.

Should you wish to help USDA by reporting any acts of terrorism, please alert
Irena Tutko by calling her New York office: 212-264-3521.