Tantra (Sanskrit: तन्त्र, the Yoga of Shagging with Intent)[1] is the Asian philosophy of sexual ecstasy associated with physical enjoyment as a pathway to enlightenment. According to some, Tantra is based on the Sanskrit scripture “Kama Sutra”. The discipline is commonly identified with the practice of experiencing throes of ecstasy through rituals associated with the tantric motto "From your mouth to God's ear". Tantra deals candidly with sacred sexuality, in which males withhold ejaculation within their groin until the couple or triple all reach Spiritual fulfillment. Then, of course, the males ejaculate all over the place and as far as possible.

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Western Tantra

In the western world, people think that Tantra refers to either a sexual encounter with revved up results or to flavored ancient Indian pee. In fact, most westernwriters try to separate Tantra sex from its core of experiencing one's consciousness as a unified whole associated with both the all-seeing eye and the void of nothingness. Assuming they know it all, they try to fit Tantra into their limited belief system (B.S). These know-it-alls then pass their little knowledge to other know-it-alls, and soon everybody knows-it-all without knowin' nuttin.

Tantra defined

Tantra is sacred orgy in practice

The Sanskrit word Tantra derives from 'tanu', meaning body, and 'tra' meaning to expand, spin out, weave, shag, and ultimately become liberated from material bondage. Tantra takes the approach that one should not reject the body and its desires, but actually embrace them, your neighbors them, and your babysitters them on the road to enlightenment. Tantra shares the view that sexual intercourse can be a sacrament and a means of spiritual transformation.

In other words, Tantra sex expands consciousness, and allows your perception to include the all and the void at the same time. It weaves together the polarities of male (represented by either the Hindu god Shiva, or the American comedian Chris Rock), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess Shakti or the latin singer Shakira), into a harmonious whole.

"By using sexual energy consciously, we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality," the 87-year old Buttercups explained and demonstrated, hanging from her knees from a chandelier, a can of lubrication in one hand and her remaining ounce of sanity in the other.

How Is Tantric Sex Unique?

If you are tantraing correctly you will look like this. Totally stoned!

In the West people may go through their whole life viewing sex as a source of recreation rather than as a means of transformation. The goal is to reach orgasm like a dog in heat rather than to pleasure and connect with their lover.

Their boring sexual acts have a distinct beginning and end, a climax somewhere in there (yawn), and last for about 10 or 15 seconds, ah, no, not seconds, minutes, ahem, minutes. Given that women can take about 20 minutes just to warm up and reach full arousal (longer than they need to put on their makeup!), this type of sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying for them, their more sensitive partners, and even for their normal partners who are fast asleep and already dreaming by this time.

In the Tantric model the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end[2]. A dance that keeps a divine focus on the present moment of exquisite union. For this reason, it is meditative, expressive, intimate, and more costly if you're paying for it.

Beginning Tantric Sex Techniques

The following exercises will help connect you with your body and your partner in profound ways. As you move through these steps, do not focus on intercourse as the ultimate goal. Instead, simply enjoy giving and receiving pleasure using gentle touch, loving words, and two or three of those sex toys with the feathers and knobs.

Communicate with your lover to discover what they find most arousing (for some, Beach Volleyball takes them half-way there already). Try to spend at least two weeks[4] practicing the Tantric Intimacy Exercises (TIE) without engaging in intercourse. For many, experiencing these erotic exercises with no pressure to "go all the way" helps release sexual guilt, builds trust, and reawakenssexualdesire.

Create an inviting atmosphere

Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room, that downstairs closet that the babysitter likes best, or another space in your home, creating a sacred space will relax you and your lover and bring you into the moment. Candles, fresh flowers, erotic art, ginger snaps, tantalizing aromas, or a photo of Hulk Hogan can transform any room into a temple of sexual delight. Even something as simple as dimming the lights, playing eroticmusic, and breaking out the hand puppets will help create a welcoming environment.

Dress provocatively. Wear your clown hat and that little nose horn. Or wear nothing at all. And remember, nuttin says lovin' like something from the dungeon!

Tantric Intimacy Exercises

Tantra is Sanskrit for "shagging with intent"

Many reptiles use ritual to develop intimacy, so begin your journey with a ritual. This may be something as simple as feeding each other delicious foods or sharing a glass of wine or a bowl of ganja in the nude. You can choose a home in the neighborhood to Toilet Paper and then run down the street screaming like baboons. Or, since water relaxes the body and is a symbol of sexuality[5], take a bath together[6] and splash some on each other.

But do take time to seduce your lover with massage, poetry, dance and play. Most importantly, take time to communicate and openly share what you adore about each other.

Breath

When you're done going gay, sit quietly, cross-legged like crabs (large crabs, not the ones you found while bathing together), and face each other. With your hands on your knees, palms facing up, take soft but deep breaths. Gaze into your partner's eyes--but beyond the eyes, into the soul[7]. This may feel awkward at first, but sustained eye contact is essential for building intimacy. If you fall asleep, keep your eyes open so that your lover thinks you are still staring at them. It gets really funny when you both fall asleep and start snoring, but are still looking at each other. This really freaks out dogs and cats, who will wake you up with their yelps of fear.

Copping a Feel

Now experiment with erotic touch to fully appreciate your partner. Put your left hand in, and shake it all about.

Then share your desires. For example, lovingly ask your partner to caress your shoulder, clitoris, penis, breast, tonsils, or any other legal erogenous zone. Encourage him or her to apply more or less pressure, to stroke in a specific pattern, or to expertly use their tongue, eyeball, big toe, or incredible "pleasure chest". Thank your lover with words and/or monkey sounds. There will be a test on this.

Moving Toward Sexual Bliss

This Eastern Babe can tantra you real good, and just look how many hands the girls have over there in India. She can tantra, cook, brush her hair and play "Jimmy Crack Corn" on the electric sitar at the same time.

As you finally transition into sex, the idea is to maintain a state of sexual ecstasy for as long as possible[8]. Tantric lovemaking is not result-oriented, but timeless, unstructured, and long-winded.

Keep it slow. A long, slow build-up helps men control orgasm and piques women's arousal. According to one Tantric teacher, the longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer men can resist ejaculation.

In the midst of all this monkey business, remember again that you are a creature that breaths. Since quick breathing or panting creates arousal, which speeds you toward orgasm, take long, slow, deep breaths from the belly, exhaling gradually. Taking turns breathing creates even more closeness. If you get any closer you're going to have to start sharing the remote, so watch it.

Multiple Orgasms for Men

Tantric sex distinguishes between orgasm and ejaculation, although they often occur at the same time. Men are capable of having orgasms without ejaculating[9], and ejaculatory control is what makes it possible for Tantric lovers to capture an orgasm's magical energy. By holding back, men can experience a series of "mini-orgasms" (especially when they drive the babysitter home in the "mini-van").

This does not mean that they are never to ejaculate, like Humprey Bogart, but that they can control their climax and wait for awhile. The essence, say Tantric experts, is to catch a wave of energy and to surf the edge without going over. A proven way to do this is to. . .

. . .pump the PC muscles. That's right, pump them! The pubococcygeal (PC) muscles--your ultimate sex muscles--run from the pubic bone to the tailbone ("Dem bones Dem bones gonna. . . dance around") and are used by Mother Nature to stop the flow of urine. Kegel exercises are the best way to tone the PCs, contracting them three times a day, 20 to 25 repetitions.

This Eastern Tantra master, rumored to be half human/half tiger, reportadly can give a tantra-man four sacred orgasms before he even wakes up in the morning.

This simple exercise can be done anytime, even at work or school. Just let the people around you know when you're doing them, so they can either stand around and watch or jump right in and do some themselves. And don't overdo it. After a few days of conditioning, try to extend the squeeze, holding each contraction for two seconds. Gradually work up to 10 seconds. Once your PCs are in top shape, you can ride the orgasmic wave without cumming all over your partner's face too soon.

And relax[10]. Although it sounds paradoxical, it's important for men to stay relaxed during high states of arousal. If you feel an orgasm is close, take a slow, deep breath, and stop long enough for your arousal to subside. Take this time to talk to your partner about other women you would like to tantra, or to take another toke[11] And by experimenting, you'll discover how much "time out" you require before catching the next wave.

Put it all together now: Thrust slowly, allowing arousal to build gradually. Before your excitement mounts, relax, tighten your PC muscles, and take a deep breath. Resume, relax, hold, breathe. Near the crest, open your eyes, clamp down on your PC muscles and take a deep breath to experience the joy[12] of orgasm without ejaculating. Since these techniques take practice, expect quite a few "wipe outs" before you achieve mastery.

From that point on you can wear your "King of the Cock" tee-shirt (which comes free with this article) and, wearing it, can approach any fine lady, point to your stuff, and whisper in her ear in a deep seductive voice: "I can control my urine."

Freeing Female Orgasm

It is often said that a woman's most powerful sex organ lies between her ears. Since desire can be short-circuited by fear, guilt, stress, and a host of other distracting thoughts, women often need to concentrate on feeling rather than thinking when making love. Taking breaks to pleasure each other, manually and orally, is a great way to ward off any lingering diversions, to coax one or more orgasms, and to pass the time before the pizza arrives.

Clitoral stimulation

Women require stimulation of the clitoris and labia--the inner lips surrounding the clitoris--during sex to reach orgasm. If they don't get this they will bitch and moan, and eventually leave you for the guy who fills your bags at the local market. Prolonged clitoral touch, with a gentle, patient hand, is, for many, the key to sexual ecstasy. Women should use sounds, positive words, and a laser pen to guide their lover, and show their partner how to stroke them on their girly parts "just so".

The sacred spot

The G-spot, about the size of a pea or a quarter (a Canadian quarter), is referred to in Tantra as the "Sacred Wow". This potent erogenous zone is located about two to three inches up on the front side of the vaginal channel. When your lover is aroused, slip your ring finger into her vagina allowing your fingertip to brush against the inner wall. If you still have your ring on your ring finger, especially if it's your decoder ring, she may become unaroused and may not stick around, so watch it Romeo!

Other Tantric benefits

Lovers who practice Tantra may emerge from it scarily psychic, and become more acutely aware of their own and other people's hang-ups, blocks, and behavorial patterns. They can also learn to direct sexual energy through the body's "chakras"--its energy centers--which creates feelings of ecstasy, enhances health, and drives the fake psychics crazy.

"Tantra, a school of many courses and levels of study, contains unlimited potential for spiritual gain, sexual delight, and worldly success. It always releases a particular kind of beneficial energy, sort of like a good pipeful of hashish or a pitcher of well-made margaritas," the babysitter told me about an hour or so before I dropped her off last night.