Lauren Conrad. Okay. I have absolutely nothing against LC. She seems totally nice, quiet, mauve, and weirdly solemn—she doesn't offend me or bother me or piss me off. (One glorious time she did make me laugh my ass off, but that seems like a one-off production.) Obviously she has some level of marketability, because…

Here's a fairly depressing statistic: according to a poll taken by Disneyland Paris, 30% of parents say playing with their children is "boring." In related news, 100% of children think this boring poll is boring, Boringface!