With the imminent departure of Michele Bachmann from the World's Greatest Legislative Body, we have inaugurated a new semi-regular weekly feature in which we study the possible successor to la Bachmann as Royal Regent of the Crazy People. (Louie Gohmert is, of course, emperor for life.) This week, the Congress was in the process of passing the Farm Bill, a gigantic annual Christmas tree of a bill laden with pork, much of it aimed at the production of, among other things, pork. The coal in the stocking, of course, is the fact that, also included in the Farm Bill is the food-stamp program, the device with which Republicans love to bat around poor people for sport when things get boring on the fauxtrage front.

Which brings us to our latest contender, Rep. Steve Fincher of the Eighth Congressional District of Tennessee. The blog is always on the lookout for bright new scriptural scholars, and by god, you should pardon the expression, it's found one in Congressman Fincher, who decided that the poor people on food stamps need to be banged around by the Bible a little.

Appearing this past weekend at a gathering at a Memphis Holiday Inn, Fincher explained his position on food stamps by stating, "The role of citizens, of Christians, of humanity is to take care of each other, but not for Washington to steal from those in the country and give to others in the country." The Congressman's remarks come on the heels of his taking the biblical route when responding to Representative Juan Vargas' (D-Calif.) somewhat different take on the teachings of Jesus. During a recent House Agriculture Committee debate over the Farm Bill (which contains the food stamp budget), Vargas, citing the Book of Matthew, noted, "[Jesus] says how you treat the least among us, the least of our brothers, that's how you treat him." Vargas also noted that Jesus directly mentions the importance of feeding the hungry. Not to be outdone by a Godless Democrat, Congressman Fincher responded with his own Bible quote taken from the Book of Thessalonians -- "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat."

Some day, I hope, Jesus takes St. Paul -- "the great blatherskite with his epistles in bad Greek," as Flann O'Brien's St. Augustine calls him. -- out in back of the barn and, in all Christian love and charity, beats him over the head with a sickle. The latter's certainly given enough material to enough crazy people down through the years to dilute the message of the Gospels into something resembling a FreedomWorks flyer stuck under your windshield wiper while you were in church. And, to stay scriptural for a moment, is Congressman Fincher something of a whitened sepulcher? Why, yes, he is.

Fincher is one of the largest recipients of federal farm subsidies, according to the Environmental Working Group, a research and advocacy organization that also investigates government subsidies. By EWG's count, the Republican congressman received nearly $3.5 million in federal subsidies between 1999 and 2012. In one year alone, he was given nearly $560,000 incommodity subsidies -- government cash payments used by farmers to supplement their income. Those types of subsidies affect the cost and supply of crops.

That aside, the verse that Fincher misquotes is anyway about how certain Christians stopped working because of the imminence of the Second Coming, which was not imminent at all. No matter, because, in 2012, he won re-election with 68.3 percent of the vote. So, yes, Steve Fincher, you and your well-thumbed, if not well-understood, Bible are in the ballgame. Other nominations are always welcome. Our lines are open. Our operators are standing by. This is a free call.