At the core of leadership are boundaries and borderlines. It is easy to cross the lines from being a leader to a follower but it can be so difficult crossing from being a follower to a leader. Here are some rules every leader will strictly enforce on themselves.

1. They will listen more than they speak

“There is a difference between being a leader and being a boss. Both are based on authority. A boss demands blind obedience; a leader earns his authority through understanding and trust.” – Klaus Balkenhol

This is a sacred code of being a leader, to listen and absorb details. Such shows wisdom and leadership over folly and followership. By paying attention and listening, more leaders can be rationale and act decisively rather than impulsively.

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2. They will show courage rather than cower

Leaders are not afraid of delving into new territories or taking risks. They are afraid but they do not show it. Rather, they hide their trembling in bravado and courage. They know that their courage and bravery could be the underlying factor in achieving success and attaining a goal.

3. They will always be made of outstanding character

My own definition of leadership is this: The capacity and the will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence. —General Montgomery

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At the end of the day, it really is not about the strategy or the technique they have used to achieve their goals, it is the character they showed in the process. Every leader lives on the sacred rule of being ruled by an outstanding character that is enviable not only to their followers but also to persons of an opposing faction. Character is at the core of leadership.

4. They will always be committed to their objectives

Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through.”– Jarod Kintz

Leaders do not sit on the fence. It is either they are in or out. They are always committed to their goals and will put their energy only into a cause they believe in. Even if they do not see the fruition of their cause, they will follow through with the process of execution and actualizing their goals to the very end.

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5. They will not be average

“Average leaders raise the bar on themselves; good leaders raise the bar for others; great leaders inspire others to raise their own bar.” – Orrin Woodward

One sacred rule of leadership is to focus on excellence. Mediocrity has nothing to do in the rule books of leaders. They are always striving to be better and be pacesetters. They want to be excellent and want to be models others will follow.

6. They will always learn

Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. —Jack Welch

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This goes beyond gaining a formal education. Leaders know that learning is endless and knowing through their experience and the experience of others makes them more knowledgeable and be better seasoned as leaders. They dedicate themselves to reading and learning through unconventional methods if they have to. The goal is to attain wisdom and to satisfy their curious minds.

7. They will act accordingly rather than procrastinate

“If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see.” —Henry David Thoreau

Leaders do not hesitate or simply dreamers. They act. In reality, their actions motivates others to act. They are willing to be the one to set an example and show the way. Leadership is not about simple talk, it is also about walking the walk and acting right.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.