My best friend Eddie called from L.A.Said we'd have dinner later that dayI got the feeling and it's more than a hunchMy poor friend Eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch[Refrain]

EmCHitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian

EmCIf you see him on the highway steer clear of him

FCHe got a knife in his sock and a razor up his sleeve

FCAnd a chainsaw in his pack and he's gonna make you bleed... yeah yeah!

["Bum" part of Refrain]My girlfriend Lois called from TallahaseeShe picked up that dude at the Spam factoryThat was the last time that I saw her smileMy best advice is, "Don't eat Spam for awhile!"[Refrain]