Everyday I navigate the planet, and am faced repeatedly with yall being petty. This column is to address yall’s petty bullshit. Call it calling out, or calling in, or maybe just calling bullshit. I’m calling yall petty, and this is why:

Cliche as it may be, every time someone I know DIES I get pretty upset (on the inside mostly, repress, repress) and am reminded of how important it is to be grateful and enjoy every moment.

I am sick and tired of all you grump bears and negative Nancys! All you grudge holders and drudgery doers.

I am one of those assholes who thinks that the way we think affects our reality. Which, ya know, therefore makes itself true, so I am right, ha.

A lot of great people are dying all the time. From cancer, from Petty fuckheads shooting them, from overdoses, from imperialist bombs raining down on them etc. It is kind of like a big loogie in their dead faces that so many people who are still alive aren’t freaking enjoying themselves.

We have all got to start treating each other better. We are all precious little babies. We all make terrible mistakes and have bad days/decades. It’d be so great if we could figure out how to apologize and figure out how to forgive. You don’t know how long someone has, and that grudge you are holding might be hurting you more than you realize. Stay in touch with each other. Send everyone positive messages. Tell your people you love them and do kind things for them all the time.

And while you are doing a better job of behaving towards others and forgiving and apologizing, do it with a goddamn smile on your face. Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Go on adventures. Approach daily tasks with enthusiasm and vigor. That’s a fucky tasty ass peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Enjoy it!

I am not endorsing a YOLO (you only live once) Jersey Shore neon ass mindset here. But I think we have an obligation to take advantage of the lives we had and to live them to their fullest. We also have an obligation to fight injustice and do our best to reduce human suffering. We have to balance the light and the dark. For many years I focused too heavily on the serious side of things. I really really wanted to save the world and wasn’t too worried about enjoying myself while I did. My pendulum dun swung too far in one direction.

A lot of people’s pendulums have swung too far into consumerist lifestyle zone (thinking this will bring joy which it will NOT) and also into the only thinking about what they don’t have mindset. Forget that. That is petty. Get some perspective. Listen to NPR and see how good you have it compared to so many people. If you need better perspective, go do something in solidarity with folks who don’t have as much as you do. You’ll see.

Bills are stressful yes, but a lot of people don’t have a house to run utilities to. Lucky to have a bill honestly. People cope with more difficult shit than I do, with more grace. Same likely goes for you.

Doing what makes you happy, in balance with your responsibilities and doing good in the world, is an achievable goal. Warning – you won’t make as much money. Upside is you will experience more of the texture, flavors, views, sounds, and feelings that life has to offer. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and off your couch. Not everyone who should be here still is. You are lucky and you better fucking celebrate or else I will consider you petty.

RIP Little Joey

If you’ve noticed people being petty, submit your complaint and maybe I will expound upon it. If you’re mad because I pointed out how petty you are, sounds like you are being extra petty. Either way, mokarnage@gmail.com