Finding The Perfect Woman

Tales Of A Serial Singleton: What Is A 'Perfect' Woman?

I was recently asked by an exasperated friend what my "type" was. She was keen to set up me up with some of the single women she knew and it immediately — worringly — got me thinking. I started to wonder: was it this focus on specific attributes and aesthetics that kept me and perhaps many others from accepting deviations from a list or formula concocted to help us seek out The One. Or, simply put: has being needlessly picky thwarted me?

I started looking back at my dating history, the women I'd been with and if any of them shared any particular similarities. The answer was actually 'no'. But, I could easily list the anatomical preferences and personality traits I felt were compatible or even aspirational.

Whilst in search of the perfect woman, I had dated people who I assumed fulfilled this 'dream girl' ideology. On paper some would tick every box. It was almost as though the occasional girlfriend was lifted from the cover of a magazine. The kids from Weird Science couldn't have created better blueprints. However, it has become apparent that the girls I assumed were what I wanted simply weren't making me happy. Seeking out The Perfect 10 isn't working for me.

It seems to me that we often look to others — from those we see on screen, to those we have around us — as simple tools to visualise our perfect woman. We even unconsciously sharpen up the search by establishing who our friends deem desirable. We manage to trick ourselves that the socially acceptable fantasties we conjure are what we genuinely desire.

In the search of finding someone, I now believe a truly open mind is required. I'm attempting to embrace the unknown, the excitement of the unknown and learn what it is about an individual and what makes them special.

Reassessing and appreciating so-called flaws and tiny imperfections is vital. I'm not trying to preach (apologies if I'm failing), but isn't it possible that if you do allow yourself to pursue unknown avenues, you might actually find what it is you're looking for? It's quite possible that the ones we could love the most are those we don't expect.

Holding no expectations or preconceptions as to how someone should be and rethinking what it is I want may want might just yield the best return. I'm leaving my old ways of seeking co-called perfection behind. It clearly wasn't working. I'm now looking to the future with wide-welcoming eyes.

Of course, if you do know a woman that looks like Kate Upton, kooky-cute like Zooey Deschannel, as comfortable in herself as Lena Dunham and is as kind and as good-willed as Mother Teresa whilst being able to shake it like Beyonce, please, send her my way. It's impossible to truly shake that wishlist...