An implement to be used as a measuring device. Give a naked man a cricketbat to conseal his naked parts, and the height at which he holds the cricketbat will determine the size of the 'bat' that lies beneath.
i.e. If the bat is higher,there is less to conseal. If the bat is lower...well, lucky you.

'Billy holds his cricketbat awfully low, if you know what I mean...*raises eyebrows suggestively*'

'Aww man, I saw how high he was holding his cricketbat. I'm sorry, girl.'

n: a implement used in that most booring of sports, cricket. Also perhaps the best cure for depression/anxiety/stress/insomnia/annoying siblings/tax collectors/salesmen money can buy (exept perhaps alcohol). To operate: hold the bat by the thin end (or handle) and then administer a sharp blow to the head with the large flat end, repeat if necissary until your vision becomes blurred/dissapears entirely.