Robin Williams interviewed himself about suicide in podcast

It was an incredibly candid conversation about suicide, conducted between Robin Williams - and himself.

The comic force, who died by suicide on Monday at the age of 63, was being interviewed for a podcast in 2010 when he launched into a remarkable to-and-fro between himself and what he imagined was his own conscience.

In comments that have taken on more chilling significance following his death, Williams gave an insight into his alcoholism, addiction, depression and the one moment when he felt it had all become too much.

"When I was drinking, there was only one time even for a moment when I thought, ‘Aw, f** life'," Williams said in the podcast, run by fellow stand-up comedian and actor Marc Maron.

Maron broke down at times as he recalled the interview, which he said "changed many people's perception of Robin Williams".

“What was amazing about Robin Williams is that he has this sort of electric, shining piece of humanity, whose entire life on stage was to entertain thoroughly and with a type of presence that nobody has ever seen before,” Maron says.

"He was the king. The spirit of pure comedy ran through this guy. He was unto himself."

The two comedians broached some tough topics during the hour-long podcast, including how Williams had weathered many personal crises in his life.

"Someone said ... 'Do you realise you've had so many second chances?' Number one, the alcoholism, coming out of that, and then the heart surgery, and divorce, and all these different things," Williams says.

"You come out the other side, saying 'What's to be angry about? You're alive, f***er.' "

Below is a transcript of Williams reasoning with himself about suicide:

"When I was drinking, there was only one time even for a moment when I thought, ‘Aw, f*** life.’ And then I went like, then even my conscious brain went: Did you honestly just say, ‘f*** life?’ You know, you have a pretty good life as it is right now. Have you noticed the two houses?

Yes

Have you noticed the girlfriend?

Yes

Have you noticed that things are pretty good, even though you may not be working right now?

Yes.

OK, let’s put the suicide over here ... let’s leave it over here in the discussion area, we'll talk about that. First of all, you don’t have the balls to do it. I’m not going to say it out loud. I mean, have you thought about buying a gun?

No.

What were you going to do, like cut your wrists with a Waterpik?

Maybe.

So, that’s erosion. What are you thinking about that? So, can I put this over here in the what the f*** category?

Yes

Let’s put that over here in what the f***. Because, can I ask you what you’re doing right now in this moment? You’re sitting naked in a hotel room with a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Yes.

Is this maybe influencing your decision?

Possibly.

Ok, we’re going to put that over here, and tomorrow morning - and uh, who is that in the bed there?

I don’t know.

Ok, well, don’t discuss this with her because she may tweet it, okay? This may not be good. Let’s put that over here in the what the f*** category ... if you wanted to talk about that in therapy. Or maybe, a podcast two years from now. You wanna talk about it in a podcast?

No, I feel safe!

You’re talking about it in a podcast.

I know. Who is this?

It’s your conscience, asshole.

Oh, OK.

So, have you ever thought about it since then?

No.

During the surgery, were you thinking about death?

No.

Why?

Because I was just thinking everything was going to be fine.

Was that your mother talking?

Maybe.

She was a Christian Scientist who had plastic surgery.

Wow.

Is that a mixed message?

Yeah, that is.

Okay, we’re going to go back to the podcast now because Marc’s sitting here, but we’re talking now.

Support is available for those who may be distressed by phoning Lifeline 13 11 14; Mensline 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800.