251 this morning. Hoping I hold steady for awhile. I can only eat very small meals with my upset stomach. It is a real effort to try and get in adequate level of calories. I'm not coughing as mush as I have in the past but at least a couple times everyday, I have coughing fits as it feels like things are going "down the wrong hole". Especially when I have to take any pills. I have a pill crusher and I crush those pills I can and mix them in apple sauce to get them down. But the apple cause does not cover the nasty taste some of the crushed pills have. Just get it down with out chocking is better and I'll put up with the bad taste! My wife and I took a short walk around our neighborhood this morning. I had to stop and get my breath often but at least I got outside for awhile. I enjoyed all the beautiful trees as they are changing colors this Fall. I have to get what joy and beauty in my life as possible to keep my spirits up!

I weighted in at 248 this morning. Still losing way too fast. Feeling very weak and tired. My wife has been going to the store to buy me fresh produce, etc to try and get me to eat. My appetite is so poor and my stomach so upset, that it is a real struggle to get anything down. I did make some cabbage soup with lots of fresh vegetables and with organic vegetable broth. It's just about the only thing I can get down. I add a table spoon of miso paste which helps get some probiotics in me too. My oldest son and my two grandsons came over to visit this afternoon. That helped me feel a lot better. I love my family so!

241 this morning. I had my operation yesterday. My ENT Doctor put me under to put a probe down my throat to get a better look at my vocal cords. He knew one was paralyzed but he was also concerned about the other. If only the one was affected, he was going to inject Botox into the paralyzed cord to plump it up so it would better meet up with the functioning one. That would improve my ability to talk and to swallow and not chock so often. However my "good" vocal cord has some paralysis also. So he could not proceed with the planned procedure. So I have to just make due. So it goes.

My wife drove me down to the NASA Ohio Regional Powerlifting Meet here in Springfield today. I didn't stay long but I just wanted to see many of my good friends there. It was so good to see everyone. I had the great privilege to talk some time with the President of NASA Rich Peters and the Ohio NASA Chairman Larry Donahue, both true gentlemen! They are very good friends and I respect the both of them very much. Powerlifting has been very good to me and meeting and becoming good friends with people like them has been a real blessing! Rich runs one of the very best amateur drug free sports organizations in the world. It's been his life's passion and he enriches the physical health and moral character development of all the members of NASA with it's rules of fair play and high standards of lifting performance. He is a great man and I'm proud he is my friend. When my late wife passed away, he send a beautiful planter of flowers for her memorial service. I will always be so thankful for his thoughtfulness and support during the most difficult time in my life!

238 this morning. Feeling very weak and tired. Out of breath just walking from one side of my home to the other. Tuesday I made a very big and difficult decision. I entered the local Hospice program. They are here to assist myself and my wife to keep me in our home with medical and supportive services. My wife has been taking so much time off her job at a local University to run me to medical appointments, making sure I was safe taking my showers in the morning, etc. This is a real strain on her but she has been so loving and caring through out this entire ordeal. I'm not giving up but I do need to acknowledge I now need the extra help. Yesterday they placed me on oxygen to help me breath better. They also started me on medication to help settle my stomach down so I might be able to eat more. I'm still losing weight way too rapidly. My late Mother-in-law and my first wife Linda had Hospice services the last several months of their lives. Then I helped my present wife gets Hospice for her Mother the last few mothers of her life also. So now it's my turn. Very sobering and humbling. But I must gracefully accept the reality of my situation for both my family and my own sake. Again, I'm not giving up. I'm hoping I can improve and give up Hospice, but I must accept I really do need their wonderful program at this time!

236 this morning. Yesterday was a little better day. My stomach was not quite so upset and I was able to eat a little more. My step-son and his family came over to visit and I saw three of my little grandchildren in their Halloween costumes! Lots of fun. Lifted my spirits.

228 today. Weight just keeps going too fast. Very weak and tired all the time. I am on oxygen all the time now. Hospice has provided me with a lift chair as I'm having so much trouble getting out of normal chairs. Also have a bath bench to take my showers with my wife's assistance. Going down hill rapidly. Still trying to keep my spirits up. My focus is now on quality of life instead to just trying to prolong my life. I haven't given up but I must be realistic and put all my affairs in order. I'm making sure all my family and friends know how much I love them. I'm not afraid to die. I'm at peace with ow I have lived my life. Treated all I know with respect and consideration. I have love all my friends and family with all my heart. I have no retreats. My only sadness is that I won't be able to keep on being here for my loved ones over the years to come. But they know my love for them will never die. This may be one of my last posts. It takes so much out of me to sit in front of my computer now.

Good to see a post from you Mr. Smith. I have enjoyed this thread of yours throughout.

You are an inspiration.

I know you have spent a lot of time learning about alternative medicine/treatments for cancer. If you have time and feel up to it, could you say what you have tried and what if any seems to been the best for you. Any that you haven't tried that you would consider at this point or wish you would have tried?

Good luck to you, hang in there. It sounds like you have lived your life in a good way. In the end, I believe that is what matters.

I'm sorry to hear about your decline-I admire your strength and courage as you've looked into all options for our health. You are truly an inspiration. Give your loved ones hugs and I'll keep you in my prayers for peace and comfort. Take care!

Sad news, everyone - I saw it posted on a powerlifting board today that Larry passed away on December 28th By his posts, he obviously battled his disease with everything he had, RIP to another brother in iron gone too soon.