Lest the reader
think that your notoriously sarcastic / sardonic reporter here has gone a bit too far with his comedy act; understand that
each and every one of the dreadful "consequences" listed above has, at one time or another, actually been proclaimed
by the diploma-decorated theoretical dickheads of egghead academia and their libtard repeaters in the Piranha Press. Google
them all, and be prepared to laugh.

Now, comes this
latest bucket of Marxist manure from the "Science" section of Sulzberger's seditious Slimes:

"An enormous landslide that spread rocky debris more than six miles across a glacier
in southeastern Alaska last week was not the first to occur in the area, and certainly will not be the last."

Cue dramatic music.

Be afraid libtards. Be very afraid.

The drama
continues:

"The slide caused seismic tremors
that first registered at magnitude 2.9, , according to data from the Alaska Earthquake Center."

Now, watch for the journalistic trick:

"The source of the slide appears to be a peak on the west side of the glacier
that was more than 6,500 feet high."

Catch
it? "Appears to be" -- a classic lawyer's trick.

More legalese lingo:

"Scientists say the slides will most likely continue ...

"most likely"
- eh?

Now
for the kicker:

"as warming temperatures cause more glacial melt. Glaciers buttress the mountainsides that surround them; when
the ice disappears, the slopes lose some of their support, and erosion or earthquakes can cause them to collapse."

The problem with this theory
of "Global Landsliding" (TM pending)is two-fold. First of
all, on all continents, there are at least as many, if not more, glaciers that are expanding as there are
those that are shrinking. (here) Therefore, the theory of man-made Global Landsliding (TM pending) necessarily relies upon cherry-picked data associated only with the shrinking
glaciers.

Faggot
Obongo cherry-picks a glacier that has been in remission for 200 years to make a photo-op about "Global Warming"
TM

Another problem with such junk-science is that glacially-related
landslides have always been a part of the earth's natural history. How does one distinguish between a natural landslide and
an alleged man-made / glacial-melt landslide? Unless and until these government-funded junk-scientists can actually demonstrate
a definitive increase in glacial melting due to the tiny fractional man-caused increase in the plant food known as
CO2; the goofball theory of man-made Global Landsliding(TM pending) will
forever remain as shaky as the ground during an actual landslide.

Nonetheless, the assorted commie con-men and theoretical nut-jobs behind this new theory
of "Global Landsliding" (TM pending)deserve some sort of prize
for creativity and comedy writing.

Like
Sugar always says: "It's a frickin' conspiracy!"

*

Boobus
Americanus
1: I
read in the New York Times today about how the glacial melt caused by Global Warming is causing more landslides.

Boobus
Americanus
2: When delicate ecosystems are tampered with, there is no telling what other
side-effects we might suffer.

"Boobuss, the only ssysstem
that hass been tampered with beyond repair is that musshy brain of yourss."

(I can't even begin to imagine how mentally screwed-up
someone who worships the Slimes each day actually is. Better
talk some sense into your penguin friend there.)