Sunday, January 15, 2012

Victim

-Victim-

I feel the motion of the car before I open my
eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. Smell of gas, oil,
animals. I’m in the trunk. My wrists and ankles tied. Tape over my mouth it almost
covers my nose but I can breathe barely. I must have been here for hours,
everything’s stiff and my head throbs like someone’s drumming on china. The car
stops. He turns off the motor- but there are no traffic sounds. No people
sounds, no wind. What place has no wind? I turn my head toward the sounds like
people watch radios when something terrible happens. My palms are sweating.
Where am I? The trunk squeaks as he lifts it up and the sun blinds me. He
almost looks like a faceless Jesus surrounded by light. He pulls me out of the
trunk and bangs my head against the door. I try to cry out, but it comes out
like a hum. He drags me, half-standing, along a dirt road into a house. I can’t
see any other houses and it looks like a farm. The screen door bangs behind me
and I feel a deep, deep pressure inside. All the rules have changed here.

I’m dragged down a
hall like a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare floors
and brown boxes in small rooms. He pulls me onto the floor. Tilts his head to
the side and gazes at me as if I was a pet then walks out. I’m lying there for
a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My eyes are tearing. I don’t
make a sound. I can’t get up and I keep rolling from side to side, trying not
to make noise. I’ve got to get him to talk to me. If I can get this thing off
my face I can talk to him.I’ll tell him
my name. Have you killed other women in here? I’m thinking you’ve got hundreds
of them nailed down, hung on walls, hanging from the ceiling dead in the summer
heat. Why did you pick me? If I had stayed to finish at the library I would
have been there twenty minutes longer maybe I’d have been O.K. Would have
rushed into the house, books piled up in my arms like a baby, and blurted
explanations why I was sorry. So sorry I’m late everyone. Would you have waited
for me anyway? Would you have picked another woman?Would I have read about her in the paper and
said oh my god, I was there that night…and called all my friends in a panic.
Telling them then how much I loved them as if I’d never have the chance again.
I wonder what everyone is doing now? Putting up signs? Showing my picture on
the evening news? Calling old friends? Maybe I’m not even considered missing
yet. The family will fall apart and my parents will go crazy, slowly. My
brother will be so quite at the funeral and insist that the casket be closed. I
never even told anyone what kind of funeral I wanted when I died. Maybe years
from now they’ll find my skeleton on the floor here and they’ll have to use my
dental records to identify me. My family will say:“At least we know now. We always hoped she
was alive somewhere. We just hope she’s in peace.” When I sleep my dreams are
crazy. I’m flying over fields.” I don’t think I sleep for more than twenty
minutes and when I wake up, it feels like I’m under a heavy blanket. I’m still
here. As I wake up I hear a dog barking in the
distance and I think I’m in my parent’s house in South Carolina. When I open my eyes, there’s
a shotgun pressed between them. I’ll never get married. I’ll never have kids.
I’ll never go to Europe. I’ll never learn to
play the piano. I’ll never write a book. The last thing I hear is a click.

About Me

I'm a semi-retired musician/entertainer who creates and performs his/her own music, writer, artist, painter, photographer, mathematician and I’m into making movies with high def video cameras. My taste in music is eclectic I listen to and can play most contemporary genres.
Before my musical career I’ve been an RN, phlebotomist, and was successful in a number of blue collar professions. I have several college degrees but mastered in mathematics. Also I'm very into computer science and the Internet. I’m a voracious reader, reading about two nonfiction books a week.
My goal for 2015 is to create a solid presence for both me and my works on the internet.
Personally I’m extremely atypical with a strong sense of self. I also have a genuine mind-set regarding the human condition. I don’t hate but rather feel love for everything except for humanities inhumanity it seems for every existing thing on the planet.
At this time I’m searching ubiquitously for my soul mate.
I hope that this epistle finds you and yours both healthy and in high spirits.
Cheers,
Adrian Alexis