“When she was born, the pediatrician told me Anita should be kept in observation because she had DOWN Syndrome.”

"Nothing happens by chance. And much less, a gift like this."

Madrid, July 12, 2011. A family from Madrid shared this
testimony of a family event that changed their lives. This
written testimony, published anonymously at the family’s request, came from
a conversation that Anita’s mother had with a consecrated woman
in Regnum Christi.

***

Two months have passed since Anita
was born, and I don’t want to miss writing down
what her coming meant for us and how we have
lived through this experience. Right now I don’t know if I’m
writing it to share it with those it could help
or just to keep it for ourselves as a memory
that may also be useful for our children someday. In
any case, I feel the need to write, so here
goes…

Ana was born three weeks early and by “chance” (Providence,
I’d say), my husband got there on time, since he
was coming in from a trip, and at first he
was going to go directly to another destination. He had
been there for all the births, but in this one
especially, God wanted him at my side. Everything happened very
fast. We got to the hospital at 12:00 and Anita
was born at 12:50… I don’t think there is any
feeling comparable to the moment when they put your baby
on your breast just after birth… you look at that
little face and you don’t know how you could have
lived without him (her, in this case) until that day,
you love him so much. The same happened with Anita
as with the four older babies, and it is that
“fragrance of love,” as my husband would say, that made
it one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

When they cut Anita’s umbilical cord, they brought her to
the pediatrician and called my husband. It seemed to me
that he took a while to come back but I
didn’t give it any importance. He came back afterwards with
the pediatrician, who told me in a calm, very low
voice that the baby had to stay in observation because
she had DOWN Syndrome and they needed to keep an
eye on her until they knew if there were any
other complications. My husband was at my side, holding my
hand. The pediatrician had told him beforehand but he did
not know how to tell me. Since I was already
crying from the emotion, I didn’t say anything. I kept
crying quietly and squeezed my husband’s hand… I had a
problem with the epidural which, together with my lung problems,
made me start having trouble breathing and they had to
resuscitate me. While they were moving me along the hallways
to the Intensive Care Unit and putting the oxygen mask
on me, I got scared… Then I suddenly felt “essential”
in this world, with five children, one of them with
DOWN Syndrome, and the sensation of drowning made me feel
very nervous.

After a while, I started to get better and
was able to assimilate the news. I had a tremendous
feeling of emptiness because I didn’t have my baby next
to me and I didn’t know how she was doing.
I had to recognize that I wasn’t worried so much
about her having DOWN Syndrome as I was about her
having a serious heart condition. I had another case very
much in mind, the son of some friends, who had
spent his first years of life struggling with heart problems,
although thanks be to God, he got through it and
did very well.

I was just a few hours in recovery,
but it seemed eternal to me. Finally they let my
husband come in. He had been doing laps from the
crib to the admission paperwork, trying to see me, etc.
When we were finally able to talk, I told him
that I had caused all of this, and I told
him the following:

A few years ago, when another of our
daughters was very little, I got together with some friends
and one of them was pregnant. She was going to
get an amniocentesis because, and I quote, “If there is
anything wrong, I don’t want him.” She said it was
hard enough having children, much less having them “with problems.”
That struck me very much; I couldn’t digest it. I
had always wanted to think that the people who opted
for abortion did it mainly out of ignorance, because of
pressure, out of desperation, but it was clear that it
was not always that way, and that society had succeeded
in imposing a selfish lifestyle without sacrifice on many. I
remember then having asked the Lord not to send a
child with problems to that friend, and that if he
was planning to do so, that he should send it
to me instead. And that was that.

During the following
years, I forgot that “offering” to the Lord. However, in
my pregnancy with Anita I remembered it. Before the first
ultrasound, I renewed my offering. I don’t know if I
was especially sensitized by the change of legislation on abortion,
but the case is that I told God that if
he wanted to send DOWN children, he should send them
to our family because we would welcome them. It can
seem very generous on my part, but it was not
really, because I put conditions. I said that I thought
I was prepared to take care of a child who
would end up always being a child, but that I
did not think I had a big enough heart to
see him suffer, and to please send him healthy, since
the memory of those friends who had sick children seemed
too difficult for me to be able to face a
similar situation.

I went to the first ultrasound a bit nervous
and when they told me everything was fine, I had
a strange sensation. On the one hand, I was somewhat
relieved, but on the other hand, I did not understand
why the Lord had not accepted my offering when it
had been sincere. So that’s as far as that got.
I spent the rest of the pregnancy thinking I was
going to have a healthy and “normal” baby girl.

When
I told my husband all of this, he didn’t seem
very surprised. It turned out that he had also made
a similar offering with regards to another acquaintance who had
“by chance” given birth to a healthy boy on the
same day and at the same time as Anita. And
neither of us had shared this until then.

So, God took
us at our word. First lesson: be careful about what
you offer to the Lord; he will take it very
seriously. And regarding the limitation on my offer, he sent
her to us healthy. Second lesson, which is much more
important and which is why I think I’m writing this:
God does not let himself be outdone in generosity. Since
Ana’s birth, he has changed our life, our way of
seeing things, our relationship with the family. He has filled
all of our hearts, leaving aside anything that could keep
us from being united in caring for and protecting the
baby. She has brought the peace our heart yearned for
and only those who know us well understand what that
has meant to us. Ana, our little, beautiful daughter with
DOWN Syndrome, is not special because she has a triple
21st chromosome, but because she is touched by God to
teach us humility and love.

Now, two months later, we are
starting to realize the special care that Ana will require,
and the need to adapt our life to hers. It
was not in vain that we wrote on a family
calendar at home, on the date of April 13: “Ana
was born: change of plans.” I think we still don’t
know what we’re facing, and it is that lack of
knowledge that has kept us from having moments of depression.
It is not our merit, just ignorance, or rather God’s
grace. But what is certain is that we are happy
with Ana, with her just as she is, with the
opportunity she has given us to grow. She is already
starting to smile and in every smile we can glimpse
the happiness we are going to have with the opportunity
to care for her.

We are sure that both on the
personal level and as a family, she is going to
make us better people, she is going to make us
more generous. She is going to help us not to
get so attached to our own plans. She is going
to help us enjoy the simple things. As a friend
of my sister’s said, she is going to introduce us
to “a new dimension of love.” Of course, we know
that hard times will come, but we also know that
we are not alone. On the one hand, we are
overwhelmed by the love so many family members and friends
have shown, those we know we can count on. But
above all, we are accompanied by the words of our
beloved Virgin of Guadalupe: “Are you not under my shadow
and protection? Am I not your health? Are you not
in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of
my arms? Do you need anything more? Am I not
here who am your Mother?”

I would like these words to
give all of us the peace of knowing that we
are in the best hands. Nothing happens by chance. And
much less, a gift like this. May we be able
to keep that security alive, and in the future, without
fear, let ourselves be surprised by God.