Posts tagged “gross”

Here’s another from the archives of the SF Bay Times published September 28, 2006. If i recall properly I got a lot of shit for this one, but I;m glad I said it…

I know I’m going to probably catch all kinds of shit for this, and people will think I’m some weird kind of prude or have been over taken by a rogue wave of conservatism concerning how people present themselves publicly. But this Folsom Street Fair, while being it’s own unique kind of traditional feast for the eyes that everyone anticipates and glories in, a parade of all kinds of people celebrating every kind of sexual fetish and I suppose the freedom to express oneself in various states of dress or undress from elaborate uniforms to absolutely nothing, this year had me thinking, “Okay folks, lets shore in a bit of this freedom of expression here.”

That just doesn’t sound like me. I’m the last person to call for people to tone down anything involving a person’s right to express themselves, artistically, physically, politically, you name it. Maybe after having lived through 20 or so Folsom Street Fairs, I’ve hit a saturation point or something and though I probably should just keep this to myself and not impose my opinions and feelings on everybody else as they continue to see fit and natural to do as they do, but I’m really over seeing everyone’s exposed, ringed, small, large, overworked, pierced, tattooed, pumped, weighted, saline infused, trimmed, Viagra-enhanced, steel rod inserted and, if it is exposed, tugged on and played with mostly by yourselves all day long, male genitalia.

I mean, come on, isn’t one of the Freudian developmental stages for toddler males a particularly penis focused period in which the child walks about freely tugging his member? Well, then, there seems to be hundreds or even thousands of adult males who are suffering from acute and random cases of arrested development or some form of temporary regression. That is really what most of those men looked like to me as they wandered about in their nude glory, like little precocious toddlers tugging their business for all to see, in front of company, even, like nothing else really mattered at all.

I guess this act is very important for a lot of people, and I really should accept it and live and let live when it comes to people who really crave to get with their inner nudist or whatever. But as I wandered through the fair seeing friends, saying hi, enjoying the generally festive and drunken crowd of revelers, I’d see a familiar face, a great outfit, a beautiful shirtless torso, numerous beautiful leather accessorized physiques, more friends, and then boom—cut to a full frontal of a frighteningly damaged trussed up and strangled to a hideous color of purple cock that I could have done without seeing ever and been happy and not haunted by images of ugly naughty bits. But they just kept coming at me all day long, penis after penis that I never wanted to see, various states of adornment and or mutilation or, of course, being fondled by their immodest owners gingerly..

People make me sick. Sorry, but it’s true. I just find it unbelievable that people come from all over the world to SF just to go out to certain bars and a day long festival and take off their clothes and fiddle with themselves, and believe me, I saw plenty of it working at the Hole in the Wall, which for some reason has become the chosen place for little old men from the Midwest to come and get naked annually. I just really do not understand this dynamic, and I see it happening in other bars, too. I guess I’m over-thinking it or just letting it get to me, when I should just accept these things and avert my eyes when I see things I’d really rather not. I should try to understand the feeling of total freedom nudity allows people, and what a natural exalted feeling it must be for the usually inhibited individuals to break free of the restrictions and confines of clothing whenever they can. I really shouldn’t judge people on the basis of their random and occasional urge to get naked in a public place and touch themselves. They are just being the people they are and want to be and I should be glad that I’m in a place where folks can do that very thing without being persecuted or shunned or ridiculed, right?

Yeah, and the naked human body is a beautiful thing that people shouldn’t be so freaked out about seeing, but society and culture have made it something forbidden or immoral or just plain dirty, and that’s the true offense here, right? Yeah, right. Fuck all that, I’m over it. Society might translate the nude human body into something offensive, but just consider what the passage of time does to it also, or the act of obsessing on and dolling up and poking holes in, strangling, pumping or beating to a pulp your genitalia on a regular basis. It’s not pretty, so keep your dicks in your pants you retarded fucking pervs, God!

And don’t go calling me some kind of frigid bitch with issues because I feel this way, because I think it’s more than clear that I heart dick as much as the next guy, maybe even more, maybe even lots more, for that matter. But I just don’t need to see everyone’s who fancies stripping down in public places to fiddle with it like a fucking toddler might. I guess something just happened at the fair this year, somewhere among the hundreds of cocks I got to see without even wanting to, I must have finally saw the cock that broke the camels back.

To depart the topic of penis for now, I’d like to add that the most significant part of the fair for me was seeing the absolutely amazing set by the Presets at the 12th Street stage. They were so great that I just went to see them again tonight at the Independent, and again their well constructed, perfectly executed set rocked an almost completely ecstatic and dancing house. They really know how to build a very dynamic and satisfying set without falling into any of the tedious ruts and detached machine-like coldness that often plague electronic bands in the live mode. They clearly performed. It was plain to see there was a lot of music going on up there on that stage, an amazing accomplishment for just two young gentlemen from Australia who were quite human, friendly, and slayed the crowd with a relentless dance from beginning to end I believe this band is well on its way to achieving a huge commercial success. All the pieces are perfectly in place and their music is instantly likable. My friend Chris who I invited to the show said, “They are my new favorite band,” as he bought their CD. It’s definitely one of the best records of the year. Very cool that just yesterday I caught them live in the sunny outdoors on Folsom street. That rocks.