Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Flavor of the month

I have always known about my split-second attention. Before I fully think about something, a new idea crops up and poof goes my interest. One moment I am moving full speed, totally excited, and then I change direction and move another way, equally excited.

On most days, I have a good handle on my impulsiveness. I channelize it towards meaningless things like my need to talk to someone different everyday or to go to new places. But then there are days like today, when my stupid brain leads me from one idea to another. Before I figure one out, my brain has flitted to another. I never know when I'll get bored or just when too little becomes too much. I also don't know why it happens at the exact moment that the idea actually becomes logical and the initial anxiety has passed.

Perhaps its "the chase" that keeps me engaged. The need to learn more, to dwell deeper, to capture something and then once I fully own it, to finally let it go. Perhaps its the idea of completely experiencing something and then moving on. I don't know. All I know is that even I find it impossible to keep track of my limitless infatuations.

On days like today, I just wish I could stop and be boring for a while, do the same thing repetitively, or just fall completely, madly and insanely in love with an idea, any idea.