Archive for the ‘My hubby’ Category

Encouragement. We all need it, some more than others. As a wife, it is my responsibility to encourage and support my husband. Which is simple enough, but how do you encourage when you, yourself, are discouraged? I barely have the energy to keep my head afloat, how the heck am I supposed to encourage him??

The last four years have been really really hard for us. You may think we are okay and happy, but we’ve really struggled and are beyond the end of our rope, you know, barley hanging on to that fraying stringy stuff at the end. Our marriage is fine, so don’t worry about that one. We are just exhausted and discouraged financially, emotionally, and spiritually. As I’m sure many of you are.

My husband has been called to plant a church downtown Boston. That was 5 years ago. Since then, we’ve been pursuing, chasing, fasting and fervently praying for doors to open. Right now, my hubby has a “trendy” job, that others would love to have, but with a family, it’s not ideal. He works a different shift everyday. {Sunday is his only guaranteed day off, but then he has meetings Sunday nights.} He gets his schedule a week in advance. He is gone for 11 hrs of the day/night. And he gets paid very little for it. He hates it. While he’s doing that, I am stuck in our small home, with our 3 girls, without a car. I hate it. We’ve been doing this for almost 4 years now. We are both losing our minds. And that is not an understatment. My husband has been applying for jobs in Boston, Seattle, here in Charlotte, and well, just about anywhere, for the last four years as well. NOTHING. Oh, he’s had interviews, skype interviews, flew to Boston for a hands on interview, and still nothing. After four years of not getting another job and no open doors for Boston, one starts questioning their abilities, their calling, as well as losing their spark. My husband has lost the twinkle in his eye, which is one of my most favorite things about him. We are both fading. We aren’t who we used to be. We are irritable, discouraged, exhausted, but we are clinging onto the only hope we have, Jesus. But I must say, God and I have been having some unpleasant conversations lately.

So, how do you support and encourage your hubby when you are both about to lose your grip on sanity??

Good question. I ask myself that all the time. I have apologized to my husband for not knowing how to encourage him when I’m in desperate need of encouragement myself. To my surprise, he told me that I am encouraging…and these are the things I have been doing, without realizing it was encouraging for him.

1: Everyday, I pray that someone would come along and encourage him that day. Whether it be a phone call from a friend, a random email, or a stranger/friend that sees his potential and speaks life to it.

2: I text him scriptures that encourage me and in turn they have been encouraging him. I would give you some of my favorites, but they change everyday. Isaiah and Psalms are great books to start with.

3: Communicate with your hubby. Express your frustrations and why you are discouraged. I found that when I broke down in front of him {which is often}, he said that it encouraged him to be stronger. He had this misconception that I was super strong, not phased by our current situation, and that I wouldn’t have a clue as to what he was feeling. WRONG!!! So very wrong!! Share your heart and soul and know that you are both on the same page. At least you won’t feel alone in your despair.

4: Let him know that you still believe in him. This one is probably the most important. Believing in someone is huge. Letting them know is even bigger. Talk about encouraging!! When we were having a heart to heart session, I told him that I would never let him give up on his dream/calling and that I believed in him. I saw the twinkle again. It was faint, but it was there!!

5: Remind him of all the blessings God has been gracious enough to give you. To name a few of ours: Healthy family. A job. {Even though he hates it.} A roof over our heads. We are debt free. {Aside from student loans and our car.} Our bills are getting paid every month. {If you compare our bills to what he gets paid, you’ll know that it is a miracle and indeed a huge blessing.} I get to be a stay at home mom. {I’m going crazy, but I’m grateful.} There are so many blessings along the way. You just have to stop, count them, and remind each other how blessed you really are.

See, it’s the simple things that help encourage and show our support for our husbands. Who knew??

Go encourage your hubby. There’s also an amount of encouragement that is received when you are blessing and encouraging someone else. Works out for both of you!!

I have no doubt that we’ll make it through this. Because, this too shall pass. We just don’t have a clue as to what the next step is. But there’s hope in our God, who is always faithful, and He will remain in control.

He is the sweetest man and has the biggest heart.
He loves his little girls with everything in him.
And you better believe that they know it!!!

Some of the girls’ fave things about their daddy:
“I love it when he loves on me.”
“I love that he plays with me.”
“I really love that he gives us nicknames.”
“I just love everything about him.”
“I also love that he can fix almost anything.”

Today is Valentine’s Day. I have NEVER been a fan of good ole’ V-day. I actually wore black on Valentine’s Day to protest when I was in college. It’s true.

My hubby and I have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day either. We want to treat each other “special” everyday!! So, hubby totally surprised me this morning. He thought, how can I surprise her?? Oh, Valentine’s Day will be PERFECT because she won’t suspect a thing, and he was RIGHT!!!

I woke up this morning to the girls saying that there was a present on the table with a balloon. I looked at hubby and said, “Awe, you got the girls something.” You are so sweet. I get out of bed and when I walked into the kitchen I noticed that the card said “mommy” on it. SURPRISE!! I was shocked he got me anything. He knows better!!!! =)

I took the gift bag and balloon back to the bedroom (since he was still in bed) and opened it. He got me an adorable marled shearling beanie hat and matching gloves. I have been on the hunt for some warmer things since we are moving to Boston soon. I put on the hat (SO CUTE) and the mittens.

{ Not me, but it’s a pic of the hat he got me from Urban Outfitters. }

I felt a really big tag in one of the mittens so I pulled it off and pulled the “tag” out. A slip of paper with something highlighted on it.

Flight Charlotte to Boston.

WE ARE GOING TO BOSTON IN MARCH FOR A FEW DAYS!!!!!

We are in the process of planting a church there and I have never even been!

I AM SUPER EXCITED!!!!

He worked it all out with his work schedule, his parents will be watching the kids and everything is all planned and ready to go!!!!

MY HUBBY IS THE BESTEST!!!

{ I still don’t like Valentine’s Day. Be nice to each other every day!! }

We went over to our friends, the Hubatka’s, house for dinner the other night. It was SO MUCH FUN!!! They have 4 girls, plus mine made 7 little girls running around and we had a blast. My girls are still talking about it!!

I was supposed to bring dessert and was going to make boring brownies. Just because they are classic and almost everyone likes them. So, it would def be a win. Hubby decided that I should make his favorite cake instead of brownies. He was so convincing that I caved and made it. Okay, it didn’t take much!! 🙂

{ YUMMY }

I found the recipe for this several yrs ago online and have it memorized. I don’t know the name of it though. We just call it Heaven.

Bake cake according to direction on the box. When you pull it out of the oven, poke holes in it using the end of a wooden spoon. Pour condensed milk over it as well as the jar of carmel. Put cake in fridge until you are almost ready to serve. Frost it with Cool Whip and then cover with chopped candy bars. I used Butterfinger, Crunch, and Baby Ruth. I use different candy bars every time.

One more year behind me. A lot happened last year. I haven’t even had the pleasure of living in Charlotte for a year yet. This last year has quite honestly been one of the hardest for me. It was the first year, since I have been married, that my husband and I have not been in full time ministry. I have felt like a fish out of water. My hubby and I are in a wonderful, yet straining process of transition and it has proven to take longer than anticipated. Trying to stay upbeat and be encouraging to my husband, and my girls has been really difficult as of late. I can’t speak for my husband, but I have felt useless for a whole year. It has been a journey of being quiet before the Lord and really soaking up the promises that He has for me and my family. That’s all I have been able to hold on to. Since the beginning of 2009, God has dropped little flashes of meaning right in front of me. They have uplifted me, encouraged me, and have given me new meaning for this season of my life and especially for this year. I know we have all heard it. It’s a motto in my Church and in Premier (jewelry business): The Best is Yet to Come!! I believe that and claim it for this year. Sure I have to work hard and really stay motivated, and be encouraging as well as encouraged, but this year is going to be the BESTEST ever!!! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me and my family this year. We aren’t promised tomorrow, but I hope that I have many more years ahead.

Hubby and I took the girls ice-skating this weekend. The initial plan was to go to the outdoor Christmas rink in uptown Charlotte. It was crazy busy there, so we decided to try out our local ice skating rink.

My friend, Emily, was in town and she and another friend Jeremy came with us. It was so much fun, and much warmer than skating outside!!

On the 28th of August, 9 yrs ago, my most favorite person ever said, “I do.” He is my best friend, the true love of my life, my joy, the one who challenges me, the man who makes me want to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother, he is my soul mate, my life, my husband, D’Artagnon.