so what would be ideal speed and timing combo because like i said i can run at 800mhz 3-3-3-9-1t or at 1250 at 5-5-5-15-2t ???? i might be able to pull tighter timings with lower speeds???

If you can run 1T with tight timings heck even with 4-4-4-12 that is good. You lose alot of performacne even with intel cpu's not runing in 1T mode. Do some benches and youll see what I mean. Real world not jsut bandwidth because bandwidth will be higher at the 1250 if you can pull it off.