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“Yesterday I went to a gay party. I went outside and was immedeatly (sic) in front of the train station. I needed to get a train to get home. I just missed it though. I sat outside and waited for the next one when a cab came along and asked me where I needed to go. I said that I don’t have the money but he offered me a ride anyways. This of course should have been a red flag but I was drunk and I made it very clear that I just wanted a ride. I’d pay if it was cheaper but I didnt want to have to do anything for it. He said yeah sure just get in I get you home and you don’t have to do anything.”

Turns out, this was a lie. At least according to mylordm9. He continues:

“Anyways, during the ride he got his dick out and wanted me to blow him. I was so afraid that I did and well.. now i feel terrible. I am such a dumbass for getting in the cab and I hate myself for it. I cant get over the feeling.”

As a result, mylordm9 says he “can’t swallow anything” and feels “real shitty.”

“What do I have to do now?” he asks. “I have no idea. I’m such a fucking dumbass!”

Never fear, mylordm9, your fellow Reddit users are here to offer their two cents on your dilemma.

“I don’t think you were raped,” hatessw states matter-of-factly. “Unless you’re omitting relevant facts, no force seems to have occurred, and everything you did on your own volition, drunk or not. That’s not to say what the dude did was classy, but there’s a pretty big gap between lack of class and rape.”

“Based on your story, a guy asked for a BJ and you were uninhibited enough to do it,” Kolyarut5 adds. “Don’t hate yourself.”

“You voluntarily engaged in a sexual act,” significantrisk says, “that is the opposite of being raped. The only way to be less raped than voluntarily having sex is to have no sex at all.”

But Vandal1 disagrees: “He was drunk, and not able to legally consent. Therefore, non-consensual, therefore rape. As well, he is experiencing many of the same feelings as a rape victim. He feels violated and hurt. From what he described, he probably also feels un-clean or dirty.”

“This is rape,” kpatl says. “Regardless if you were drunk, this is rape. Coerced sex is rape. You didn’t exchange sex for a ride; you engaged in a sexual act because you were afraid of the consequences if you didn’t. This is unequivocal rape. Everyone else posting is very clearly wrong.”

What do you think? Was mylordm9 raped? Sound off in the comments section below.

30 thoughts on “Dude Who Gave Cabbie BJ In Exchange For Ride Is Wondering If He Was Raped”

So in other words this dude wanted oshofree just like that in exchange for nothing.
This is obviously not rape. The cabie simply believed he would get paid in other ways. The dude shld be happy he saw smone to carry him home.
Btw he also couldve nicely declined and gotten out of the car if he really didnt want to participate.

A guy promises to give you a ride from Lekki to Ojodu but somewhere on TMB he whips out his dick and demand sex, (already drunk and vulnerable) you’re all sorts of scared;
*He could leave you stranded at 12AM on the bridge – good luck hitching a ride.
*He could throw you over the bridge – crazies abound.
*He could lock the doors/windows, take a detour…an experience you may not live to tell.

Just like coercing a minor to engage in xxx, it doesn’t have to be forced to me rape. The same reason we have variants of murder and homicide.

Jeova sanctu, you could have just expressed your views without abusing Kendigin.

How do you think this is rape? Dude was coming from a GAY party o not a night vigil so what are we talking about here? Is he saying he hasn’t sucked the D before? Or is this particular D coated with abrasives?

You cited things that could have happened if he said he wont give a bj and decided to drop, truth is the story didn’t give us those details so we can only speculate. It could also be that nothing would have happened if he said no.

Point is, judging from the details of the story, bro wasn’t raped. He took a conscious decision to suck the D and I can only imagine that bro is good at his job. Seeking for sympathy after pleasure doesn’t cut it for me.

Exactly,Chestnut. Exactly why I won’t consider it rape. I won’t imagine a cabbie asking a ‘straight’ drunk man for a blowjob. Hell no. No matter how drunk a ‘straight’ man is, he won’t go down on that joystick. Alcohol only removes inhibition, it doesn’t plant alien ideas from Mesopotamia.

I believe it was rape. The said blow job was obtained under duress as the guy did not have money for a cabbie and was already enroute in the cab when the bj was asked for. If he said no, he would have been dropped off on the side walk and he wont have anywhere to go.

Its like when your boss asks you for sex (Monica Lewinsky anyone?) He doesn’t force you to do it, but you and I know that your job is on the line if you refuse to do it. So when you are out of options, and someone you are at his mercy asks for a sexual favor in exchange for your help? That my friends is rape; there doesn’t always have to be force.

I don’t think it is rape. The cabbie asked, and the guy obliged. We can never know what would have happened if the guy refused. So we cannot say if the guy was scared or so. I have been drunk before and I don’t think I’d do what I don’t want to do. Being drunk here is not an excuse.

There’s this analogy that’s used to describe rape which is basically giving someone tea. It’s pretty long but it’s said that sex is the tea. You could ask someone if they want tea and as long as they say yes and are the ones drinking the tea themselves without you having to feed it to them or force them to drink it one way or the other then it’s not rape.

The issue here is that this guy was drunk. There was no talk of violence from the cab driver but he was taken advantage of in its own way is rape cause he wasn’t thinking straight (cab driver knew this) before being offered tea. It’s kinda like drugging the person you want to rape first.

I am curious, If the people claiming this isn’t rape would hold the same view assuming it was a woman in question.
Rape as defined by dictionary.com “unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.”

And the story above fulfills all criterias.
1) Penetration of the victims mouth by coercion.
2) The victim was inebriated and wasn’t capable of giving consent.

Im amazed at some of the responses I am seeing here! So it is only rape when someone is forced? Rohypnol induced sexual intercourse in that case is not rape then abi?

When consent is obtained under diuress, gentlemen it is rape! What were his options? Being dropped off in the middle of nowhere late in the night? And showing up dead in a dumpster the following morning?

Picture this scenario, if you torture a murder suspect and he gives a confession that he committed the act, is that not a confession and admission of guilt? Yes! However a good lawyer will argue that such a confession was obtained under diuress and that the suspect just agreed so that they will stop torturing him. The judge will most likely rule it inadmissible ( yes I watch too many Legal series).

Why are teachers sanctioned for offering marks for sex? When I am facing an extra year and the lecturer says suck my dick or I fail you and you repeat the year. I suck his dick and pass…..did i willingly suck his dick? No! Was i forced? No! Is it rape? YES!!!

I tire for una sef! Why was Bill Clinton nearly impeached? Did he force Ms Lewinsky on the table, tear her dress and force his penis inside her?

Why should this even be a question? The guy was sexually abused. The man definitely knew he was drunk before offering a ride, which means he had premeditated the action. Dude was too drunk and too vulnerable; the power dynamics tilted in favour of Mr Cabbie. Everybody saying he paid his T-fare with a blow job, that’s a very insensitive and stupid comment. The way we think of rape is very shallow. I’m disgusted.

Reading through the comments.. Nways don’t let me get started today..
All I’ll say is.. So the guy is drunk right? But he gave consent to be taken to his house right? He could state his address for the driver right? He was asked nicely (Atleast from we can get from what he said) to give a BJ and he did so right? Even when he could have refused. There was no sign in the story being told of some kind of weapon or the force used. He obliged to a request.. He was drunk yes! But he still had some sort of awareness to remember every detail. When he got himself drunk and decided to take a ride home knowingfully well he had no money on him. He created an opportunity to be exploited and exploited he was. Mind you this individual is a grown ass man.
Yes this are all excuses for the act for the driver which was down right classless.. This case will go to law and this Cab man if he has a good lawyer will come out smiling from the court.

Like one reddit user said.. There is a big difference between classless and Rape. And this is no rape to me. It’s a very sensitive situation anyways. It’s hard to judge has this is a one sided story.. No one has the full facts!

This is a tricky one.
The important question to ask here though :
did the cab driver know that mylordm9 was drunk that night?
The story does not tell us that much. For instance, mylord9 must have appeared sober since he was lucid enough to engage the cab driver in a lucid conversation, and was clear headed enough to remember minute details of it.

If the cab driver wasn’t aware of the alleged drunken state of our guy, (which is most probable) then the issue of rape does not arise because of our guy’s masterly ability to conceal his own alleged intoxication. The cab man, for all intents and purposes, was just a random guy looking for cheap sex.
He saw what looked like an opportunity. Here asked for it, and it was given to him (without a moment’s hesitation ). Unknown to him, the guy apparently had no capacity to give the consent.

I think mylordm9’s apparent deceit is a valid defence for the cab driver.
There was no rape here.