Paul Blart: Mall Cop was a big number one at the box office despite being a steaming number two for all other intents and purposes. It grossed almost $34 million. A fat guy on a segway. You motherf-ckers. I can’t wait for Two and a Half Men, the movie. If you need me, I’ll be cleaning my shotgun.

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Fat Guy on a Segway < Man Hit in Groin with Football (starring George C. Scott)

01.19.09 at 7:45 am

Juan

I went to the theatre and asked to see “My Bloody Tampon” and they sold me a ticket to the ladies’ room.

01.19.09 at 8:05 am

Burnsy

Paul Blart may have won this battle, but Hotel For Dogs will win the war.

01.19.09 at 8:22 am

Juan

That banner pic makes me REALLY want to see the movie. He’s so nervous! Is he in trouble?! The suspense is killing me!

On a related topic, re: the two MILFs in the Microsoft ad on the right of the page…oh yeah, rowwwwrrrr!

01.19.09 at 8:30 am

bothgunsblazin

Kevin James continues a long tradition of funny fat men, channeling the classic greats like John Belushi, John Candy, and Chris Farley. Except something’s missing in his funny fat guy routine: the funny.

01.19.09 at 8:31 am

Diremutt

!pu weN

01.19.09 at 8:34 am

Rock Strongo

You know, if you look at Two and a Half Men as a reality show about Charlie Sheen and not a sitcom, then it actually becomes funny… because hes basically playing himself

01.19.09 at 8:49 am

The Merovingian

This is the material by the way that has kept me virtually anonymous in America. Yeah no one fucking knows me, no one gives a fuck. Meanwhile they’re draining the Pacific and putting up bench seats for Carrot tops next Showtime special. Carrot top for People who didn’t get Gallagher.
~Bill Hicks