Now...I have a serious question. Is it wrong for me to start off all of my query letters with, " Dear gorgeous..."

I was just wondering thats all, seeing as most of enquiries seem to come back with Police fingerprint powder all over them. Strange.

Also, is signing off with, "...forever you're humble peasant..." a little too, I dont know...dare I say the word, pathetic?

Seriously though! Is there a query letter department for beginners in these here parts? It's so awful, to think, I can write a novel, yet, I cant write a letter. Am I the only one, or am I special?

You're humble peasant,
Declan

Bayou Bill

07-29-2006, 08:09 PM

Now...I have a serious question. Is it wrong for me to start off all of my query letters with, " Dear gorgeous..."Possibly, unless the agent's last name is George.

Also, is signing off with, "...forever you're humble peasant..." a little too, I dont know...dare I say the word, pathetic?Yes. You should never, under any circumstance, leave out "and obedient."

Seriously though! Is there a query letter department for beginners in these here parts? It's so awful, to think, I can write a novel, yet, I cant write a letter. Am I the only one, or am I special? Yes and no. As for writing a letter, give "E" a try. It's very handy.

Welcome and don't forget to post your query in the Share your Work section so we can destr...Um tighten it up for you. It doesn't hurt. Much.

Also make sure you sign it Your (not you're) humble, obedient, and long suffering servant.

rhymegirl

07-30-2006, 12:10 AM

Welcome.

Good advice from sc above, the mother of twins. I noticed the "you're" instead of "your", too.

You could try writing your query letter in rhyme.;)

Soccer Mom

07-30-2006, 01:31 AM

I like to include a little white powder in my letters. Nothing makes an agent remember you like a little visit from guys in hazmat suits!

Welcome!

Bayou Bill

07-30-2006, 06:26 AM

Welcome and don't forget to post your query in the Share your Work section so we can destr...Um tighten it up for you. It doesn't hurt. Much.

Also make sure you sign it Your (not you're) humble, obedient, and long suffering servant.
I'd recommend you heed SC's advice. The alternative, inserting an "A" between "your" and "humble" might not be taken in the jocular spirit you would, no doubt, intend.

Bayou Bill :cool:

TwentyFour

07-30-2006, 07:02 AM

Welcome!

TwentyFour

07-30-2006, 07:03 AM

...and Bayou Bill does laundry, see his avatar!! He makes it look like lazy dogs.

Bayou Bill

07-30-2006, 07:11 AM

...and Bayou Bill does laundry, see his avatar!! He makes it look like lazy dogs.I'll have you know that while it is true I do laundry, my AV is neither laundry nor a lazy dog. (Well, one out of two ain't bad) It is an action photo of a Shar Pei. Here's another action shot of that noble breed. :)

http://www.roseandearl.com/Shar-pei_relaxed.jpg

Truth in posting laws require me to admit there is not now, nor has there ever been, a Shar Pei at the Bayou Bungalow. Our canine classification is filled by a Beagle and a Golden Retriever. I just like the photo.

Bayou Bill :cool:

TwentyFour

07-30-2006, 07:19 AM

...hehe...so you won't do our laundry...?

Bayou Bill

07-30-2006, 07:23 AM

...hehe...so you won't do our laundry...?Odds are it'd be only once. After that, most folks don't trust me with what little is left.

Bayou Bill :cool:

TwentyFour

07-30-2006, 07:55 AM

LOL You sound like my fiance! The man can make a flood of soap from blue jeans.

Bayou Bill

07-30-2006, 08:00 AM

LOL You sound like my fiance! The man can make a flood of soap from blue jeans.A man after my own heart. It's a gift.

Bayou Bill :cool:

TwentyFour

07-30-2006, 08:12 AM

HA...It's a way of not being asked to do the laundry again...

Bayou Bill

07-30-2006, 08:37 AM

HA...It's a way of not being asked to do the laundry again...I say again, "A man after my own heart. It's a gift." :)

Bayou Bill :cool:

LimeyDawg

07-30-2006, 09:02 AM

Declan,
Of course you're special...welcome to the nut house.

Declan

07-30-2006, 10:12 AM

Thanks for the index Jenna.

I did eventually stumble into a forum that had exactly what I was looking for.

Though, I think I need to slow down my typing, or re-read what I've posted.

The grammar Sheriff's seem to be pretty keen around here.

Thank-you all, for the advice,
Declan.

Camilla

07-30-2006, 09:37 PM

Welcome, Declan! :D
I haven't even got to the finished novel part, let alone the query letter, so you're a step ahead of me in that department. Good luck with it! And if you're going to address the letter "Dear Gorgeous", don't forget to spray the whole thing liberally with aftershave ;)