Helping him get his meds lined up so that he could take them at proper times and things paid off later for me when I started having to have meds for my aging issues. I’m 68 now — I have high blood pressure, I have prostate issues, I’m diabetic — all of which are medicated and under control, but seeing some of the issues he went through with his meds helped me when I had to do the same sorts of things.

I’m probably taking more pills now for my ailments than someone with HIV would take solely for their HIV these days, because of all the combined medications now. But when I was helping my partner line up his medications, he was on multiple HIV drugs plus some other stuff the docs were throwing in there, plus having to keep him stocked with Imodium for the diarrhea and he also had to wear adult diapers when he left home, because he didn’t want to go out in public because he was never sure when he was going to have a diarrheic attack.

There were times when he wasn’t strong enough to clean himself well, and so he would stand in the bathtub and I would do what I needed to do for him. And because I was bonded with him, I was able to do that in a manner that I don’t think anyone else could have without being negative about it, without him sensing any negativity in me over it.

Being the help to him that I was, was a positive experience for me. The care-giving part was positive for me, because I knew I was giving him something that he needed and was giving it to him in a way that probably no one else could do for him. Because some of the things that I did for him required a great deal of physical intimacy.

I’m pleased that I could present what I had to do in that kind of positive note for him, because that kept him from feeling so bad about it.

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Larry, I loved your comments so much during the webinar…and I think that it is so important and needs to be noted that yes, your intimacy with him made a difficult situation a bit better…and NO ONE BUT YOU could have given that to him…what an exquisite mutual gift you gave one another…I hope that if you ever need it, that the same amount of humanity, tenderness, and grace will be yours, as well…