Man Allegedly Threatens Neighbor With Ax For Stealing Underwear

A 51-year-old Puyallup, Washington man was reportedly charged with harassment Thursday after allegedly threatening to cut his neighbor’s “nuts off” with an ax for, in part, stealing his underwear.

According to the charging documents filed with Pierce County Superior Court, the victim was outside his home around 4 p.m. Wednesday when Daniel Urton yelled across the yard to him, asking if he had his car keys. When the victim told Urton he didn’t know what he was talking about, Urton fetched an ax from his house and started walking toward the victim, according to the charging documents.

The victim went inside and called 911, telling the dispatcher he felt threatened and thought Urton would hurt him with the ax .

When Pierce County Sheriff’s Office deputies arrived, they saw Urton walking in the street with a woman who turned out to be his sister. They arrested Urton, who reportedly told officers he had two knifes on him (though deputies could only find one).

According to the charging documents, Urton told deputies the victim had his car keys, was stealing his underwear and was hiding secret cameras inside his home. Urton admitted to walking toward the victim’s home with an ax, according to the charging documents. When asked why, he reiterated, “I was going to cut his nuts off.”

While many college students feel sorority panty raids are a harmless gag, it would be certainly unwise to try it at fraternities in Puyallup.

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Or, raff, you could refrain from stealing underwear while in Puyallup. I’m sure that the temptation posed by a pair of tighty-whiteys flapping in the breeze must be strong, but you’ll just have to learn to control yourself. :-)