Sunday, May 04, 2014

Random thoughts for the day....

Waiting for Spring to get here seems never ending. Cold and raining we a re lucky to get some peaks from the sun here and there....eager to get on with the summer and get out with my camera...

Been enjoying some time with myself lately...just for treating my muse to a good book or tutorial...spending time in my studio which I have come to cherish as a sacred place in my life that is all mine; just for me to escape..to be me...to soul search.

And then there is nature..which I can never get enough of..where I can get lost in the most simple things..when I find my way back to awareness...my mood has changed, I feel more at peace and calm.

Like the anatomy of a flower...

Those things that make me wonder how others can wonder...
If there is a God.
Visit a baby nursery...or a flower nursery. They are the two greatest validations for me. The complexity of a human being the complexity of a flower...the diversity of both throughout the world...the way all things work together and cant work without one another...like the pollen in this flower....being where it is purposely... with full intent doing its job...

See it? It is no accident....nothing is accident....even the most horrible experiences in this life that may seem so crushing...they all have purpose even if the growth from the experience is painful or life changing. Losing my job was crushing and painful. It changed my life. I'm still suffering from it. But I learned some very important things that I needed to learn. I learned that people are not who they always appear to be. I learned that no amount of money is worth dealing with prime assholes who treat people horribly. I learned who and what I never want to be...It had to happen. I had to learn that I could fail at something...and that it did not mean I was an unworthy human being...because that is what failure always meant to me...and very honestly...I've never failed at anything I put my entire heart into. Now I can say I failed..and I LIVED. New doors are opening, and they will lead to more doors and that is the process of life and there really is a pre-destined plan for each life we just have no clue.....many times we step off the path and life becomes chaos..
it always really will be OKAY though. It really will.

We chuck so much off in this life as coincidence...when two lives cross paths...when eyes meet...not even in a romantic way but in passing on a bus...I believe all things have meaning in this life. I believe in divine timing as well....possibly more than anything. It has played such a significant role in my life in so many ways...
everything in its right time.....