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Dunno Matey. "Greys" reckoned she was going to find you before I posted so you would be here to read the news with everyone else.

Nup, she's still there, but she'll only instruct on a Wed night (I'm too tired to train at night). On a Sunday, she'll be just another "pleb in the line up". We'll see what happens when I front up with my girls next Sunday.

DA, I'm not getting at all excited at this stage as I don't want to falter in my resolve. I've known this woman for 11 years now & she just doesn't "fold" like that. She's possibly got something planned to "put me in my place" in the class environment. She's had 3 months to "think'" about things & get a game plan together.

I've got to say publicly now DA ... I feel a bit "Zena (pun intended) Warrior Princess" right now because of how you've "stayed the course" with me over the Summer break with this particular issue & a whole bunch more stuff that you're helping me with right now. You rock mate !!

I think it was Di_Dee1 ... sorry if it was someone else ... who said being "factual" in that 4 page letter was the "way to go" & the mature thing to do.

I guess the real test will be next week. How people now perceive me & react to what I've done. Can they push me back to where I was because they feel uncomfortable & have to put me back "in my place" with just one withering comment. Have I rattled people that much? Are all the other "victims" of the abuse happy that it's all going to stop now even though they were too scared to say something before this ? I would hope so. I didn't do this for them, but if it makes a difference & helps them to move on & get a bit of "I rock !! I can do this as well !" in their lives then .... is all I can say.

One thing's for sure ... in writing that letter, I "Felt the fear & did it anyway". There's no going back now, so I'd better "man up" & be prepared to back up my words with actions when I take that first class at 10 o'clock with young Spirit next Sunday & then go over to the training ring to take instruction from the trainer & mentor I selected "against the rules". It's the beginning of our trialling career & I want the most positive environment for the 2 of us. Spirit is an exceptional dog when it comes to her potential in the Obedience trial ring, so this day was going to eventually come. I just had to get the "balls" about me to step up to her standard & meet her half way as a reliable "working partner".

If this whole "saga", and the out pouring of my heart & soul in all these posts & all your replies & PM's of support for myself & Spirit gives someone else the courage to take that first all important step from "I'm so scared, I'll get hurt" to "I might be able to as she's done it .... & she lived to talk about it" then it has all been worth every gut wrenching moment of revealing all my insecurities for your public consumption & critique.

I so hope that next Sunday will be "incident free", but if it isn't, then The Universe has been setting me up for "Yep, you did alright with the whole letter & chatting to your friends thing on that forum over the Summer break. Let's see how you do in the real world, when someone's actually standing right in front of you, attacking you."

I'm a work in progress. The Universe & it's lessons is always just one step ahead of me ... and that's how The Universe works fellow "Space Cadets"

Yes possibly, she's had 3 months. But you've had a lifetime of this **** so it's more than time to stand tall, no matter how small you may feel.

Zena Warrior? Not so funny as Zena IS with you, you know. Always.
Strong ppl in my opinion weren't born strong. They believed in themselves, and that makes all the difference. We all on this forum believe in you, and IMO that also makes a darned big difference.

I find it amazing with bullies or someone who is treating ppl badly, that once one stands up, it somehow gives the courage to others to follow suit. However, if they don't, it doesn't matter, because at least you did have the guts to. Don't allow them/her to set you back, as you have travelled so far in my opinion with that one letter.

Be prepared for next Sunday. Be prepared for the worst. Arrive in 'warrior' mode (whether you feel it or not) and if it goes well, you will have lost nothing. If it doesn't go insident-free, you WILL BE READY TO HANDLE THIS IN REAL LIFE.

I tell you peeps ... I've grown more as a person, a woman & a human being in these few short months that I've been on this forum than .... well .. I feel in my whole life right now to be frank (who's frank ? )

*sigh* Always with the jokes ... It's part of my coping mechanism for when I'm feeling vulnerable unfortunately.

You're right DA, Zena is always with me. She's watching over the biz, watching over how I'm going with the young 'uns. I won't let her down. I have to step up for Spirit's sake & not fart about wasting time being a "people pleaser" with people that want to play hurtful games.

I'll report in next Sunday on this issue if there's anything worth discussing.

I just want to say a big "thank you " so much to you & everyone else that has taken the time & effort to post their thoughts on this issue and help me get to when I am just at this moment. It might get ugly next weekend & I might completely screw up, but at this moment in time, I think I've truly turned a very important corner in my life. Something I've been wanting to do for so long, but just didn't know how to.

This is not the first time that I've said the people on this forum are great bunch of people and it won't be the last.

Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate

Yes possibly, she's had 3 months. But you've had a lifetime of this **** so it's more than time to stand tall, no matter how small you may feel.

Zena Warrior? Not so funny as Zena IS with you, you know. Always.
Strong ppl in my opinion weren't born strong. They believed in themselves, and that makes all the difference. We all on this forum believe in you, and IMO that also makes a darned big difference.

I find it amazing with bullies or someone who is treating ppl badly, that once one stands up, it somehow gives the courage to others to follow suit. However, if they don't, it doesn't matter, because at least you did have the guts to. Don't allow them/her to set you back, as you have travelled so far in my opinion with that one letter.

Be prepared for next Sunday. Be prepared for the worst. Arrive in 'warrior' mode (whether you feel it or not) and if it goes well, you will have lost nothing. If it doesn't go insident-free, you WILL BE READY TO HANDLE THIS IN REAL LIFE.

I've said it before and I'll say it now (and I'll probably say it again, lol) for some here we are all just ppl on the other end of a computer, and nothing more - and that's perfectly okay.

But for others it's different.
I personally think very highly of many ppl on this forum, whether I know them or not, or whether I will ever meet them or not. It doesn't matter, they are still a part of my life as I spend so much darned time on here.

Ramble, ramble...my point is if things don't go according to plan on Sunday GSD's, or if you don't handle things as well as you would like to be able to, it doesn't matter either. Just another lesson learned, and another bridge to cross.

But remember, we might just be names and alias' on the other end of the computer, but we are still there with you. Remember that.

But remember, we might just be names and alias' on the other end of the computer, but we are still there with you. Remember that.

And that's the most important thing in the world to me DA. You're all still there with me .... whether I succeed or not. This is something I have never experienced in my life until I joined this forum.

Well I'm feeling a bit nervous atm, heading off the hairdressers in half an hour! I'm going for a RADICAL change and I'm not sure it's going to suit me, but what the hell! Nor can I actually afford it, but I decided it's time I did something for ME for a change.

Thought it would be a good way to signal a new period of my life, ex was kicked to the curb a couple of weeks ago, lots of things to think about the biz, I want a new "do" to take on the world with!

Wish me luck...eeeeek!!!

(and yes I will bite the bullet and post before/after pics in the photo thread...eventually)

Bet you are not going radical PINK, lol. I am lucky though, mine will fall out. Any big hair change does take a bit of time to adjust to, just remember it does grow. My kids wanted tatoos as teenagers, I said nope but you can do whatever you like with your hair...and they did. As it does regrow I did not mind at all what they did.

Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.