I am a cradle Catholic. I have worked for the Catholic Church, namely the Diocese of Austin, for 21 years. Even though I never expected to work for the church, landing the job of “Communications Associate” on May 19, 1997, was probably the biggest gift I will ever experience in my professional career. In these years of church work, I have seen a lot. I have worked with people of the highest caliber of faith, and my faith has matured greatly. I have also seen people whose faith has been destroyed because they work for the church. Those are the people who have asked, “Why do you stay?” Until recently, I laughed that question off and typically dismissed it with a big smile and a flip of hand. Then I read the Pennsylvania grand jury report, and I cried. I got angry. I doubted. I feared. And I asked myself, “Why do you stay?” For several days, maybe even a whole week, as we all dealt with the anger and sadness surrounding the grand jury report, I asked myself that question over and over again. Then I read the Sunday Gospel from John on Aug. 26. It’s the last installment of the Bread of Life discourse. In the previous Sunday Gospel reading, Jesus told the disciples that he is the Bread of Life. He tells them whoever eats of his flesh and drinks of his blood will have eternal life. Those words from Jesus are hard for the disciples to believe. They are so hard that many actually left Jesus and “returned to their former way of life.” Then Jesus asks the big question that immediately got my attention: “Jesus then said to the Twelve, ‘Do you also want to leave?’” It was so close to the very question I had been asking myself for the last week. As my eyes filled with tears, I read Simon Peter’s answer to Jesus’ question: “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.” Boom! There was the answer to my question, “Why do I stay?” I stay because I know that Jesus Christ is the Bread of Life, he is my Lord, my Savior, my Rock, my Strength. I stay because working for the church is the best way that I have found to share my love of Christ with others. I stay because I see the Holy Spirit working here too. I stay because God has placed in me the desire to communicate the Good News of his love with others. I stay because of the Good News that you will find reflected in the life of Bishop John McCarthy. I stay because of the Good News you will find as you read about one of awesome ministries that our parishes provide. I stay because of the loving and merciful work that our priests and deacons do on a daily basis. Most of all, I stay because of the love and sense of community that I felt as I watched our bishop ordain a dying man to the diaconate on Aug. 4. That day my eyes were opened to the heart of Jesus. That day my heart was broken and then gently stitched back together as I watched those big, tough men gently place their hands on the shoulders of Flora Guerra as they prayed the Litany of Saints. I stay because I want all of you to know that God is present, Jesus is alive and the Holy Spirit is at work in our church. I will not allow the pain and the sadness on Pages 10-15 to outweigh the joy and love found on every other page of this issue. I love this church and all of its beautiful traditions, but I stay because I love God even more!

Shelley Metcalf and her two children are parishioners of St. Margaret Mary Parish in Cedar Park. She has been editor of the Catholic Spirit since 2007.