Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Author
Topic: a little background story (Read 3836 times)

just some personal sharing, cause it weighs heavily on me, a few of you know about this, now the rest of you can read it if you choose

On April 25, 2010 my exwife and youngest son were driving home from Sunday brunch with family. Another driver struck them. Two days later, life support was turned off to my sons body, and paperwork signed to donate his organs.

His organs saved three other children, one a 3yr old girl who had never left the hospital since birth, she is home now, and the letter her mother sent us is heartbreaking. His heart went to a little boy in Pennsylvania, that boy has a strong heart now.

The driver that struck them was speeding on a curvy mountain road, ran a stop sign, because he was reaching for his cell phone. He T-boned the passenger side of the car my son was in. He is being charged with 2nd degree vehicular homocide. A misdemeanor, that does not require jail time. Although he admitted fault to the media, including the cell phone part, he still entered a plea of not guilty in court. I realize that at its most basic, this was an accident, God's will, he didn't intend to kill. My son is still dead.

I'm very sorry for your tragic loss. I think it's wonderful that three other children were helped, but feel bad that the ultimate cost to you was so very high. I hope it is of some comfort to you and your ex.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Although some good came from your son, that would in no way make up for your losing him. I'm sure the HIV diagnosis pales in comparison to that. You're correct about the gun thing; it would benefit nobody and only bring more misery to the world. Hugs to you.

"When people who are not ready jump in, things can go horribly wrong. For most of us, there is always time to take a deep breath, consider one's options and make a careful, sound decision based on clinical fact, not emotion."MtD

I'm so sorry to hear about this awful tragedy. This is a good reminder that no call is that important and we can easily pull over somewhere to return the call. This kind of thing is happening all the time these days. Talking on the phone, even hands-free, does distract us. And, this happens even when not driving. There was recently a local story here where someone broke down and was calling for help on their phone while crossing the road. They didn't notice a car coming and the person was hit and killed. This almost happened to me. I came upon a bad wreck at night. I got out of my car to assist. I was on the phone with 911 while I was crossing the road to assist. I was so caught up in that 911 call that I was almost hit by a car coming.

Zach, you're right. There is no balance of justice in the comparison of the two sentences. You had a more severe sentence because dui carries the chance that you may cause an accident, but this guy actually did cause an accident - a fatal one at that - and he got off with less community service. IMO, he should have done at least a year jail time. At least.

Are there laws in the States (probably state by state) concerning using mobile phones while driving? I wonder because when I watch telly programs from the States, people are constantly driving with one hand while chatting on the phone. Melinda in the Ghost Whisperer was chronic in this regard. Over here in the UK and on the Rock, it's against the law. If you want to use your mobile in the car, you have to have a hands-free set up (or park up somewhere). If you cause an accident while using a mobile (non-hands-free) you get the book thrown at you.

Anyway Zach, if you need to vent more with the upcoming anniversary of your son's death, please know we're all here for you. As a parent myself, I can imagine how very difficult this time is for you. Please know we love you and we're here for you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

That horrible event will always weigh heavily with you. I would expect that the driver of the car that took your son's life will also never forget that horrific day (lets only hope). Life is not fair and neither is justice at times.

My thoughts are with you as the anniversary of your son's passing approaches.

Anyway Zach, if you need to vent more with the upcoming anniversary of your son's death, please know we're all here for you. I can imagine how very difficult this time is for you. Please know we love you and we're here for you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts