Some of that I made up, in case I need to cut him for the first two weeks of the season to shuffle around Marshawn Lynch. For instance, I do believe that Robert Meachem can read.

Mecheam was taken with the 27th selection of the 2007 NFL Collegiate Entry Draft. Not a need pick, he was expected to fill the holes in the receiving corps that opened with the departed Joe Horn. His time with the New Orleans Saints began under rocky circumstances however, as he has issues with his knee straight out of minicamp.

Meachem was quickly supplanted by Lance Moore as the #2 wide receiver in the Saints' offense. Moore, who was drafted extremely late by the Browns and cut in camp, should not have drank Meachem's milkshake s-- I just received a text.

... At any rate! After clearing up the issue with his knee, you'd think he'd be able to drop right in and contribute as a second-year player. Not the case! There were rumors that he still had not learned the playbook and was, in fact, incapable of reading anything at all.

That being said, Meachem was still explosive when he was on the field. His signature contribution was missing three quarters, showing up for a single play, running right past the defense and hauling in a touchdown. I will let the world-renowned Wikipedia gives us his final contributions:

Wikipedia wrote:

Meachem finished the season with 12 receptions for 289 yards and 3 touchdowns. He also had a 24.1 yards per catch, which is spectacular.

You heard it here first. SPECTACULAR.

He has all the talent in the world and now that he knows what the quarterback will be saying, in the secret code used by NFL offenses, I expect him to have a breakout season.

The other reason I expect him to have a breakout season is that in 90% of all cases, if a WR is going to be good at all, he's good in year #3. This has become noticed by millions of fantasy football players throughout the country, explaining why Santonio Holmes and Ted Ginn, Jr. went as high as they did this year._________________the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Well hell. I'll root for the guy, then. Except when the Saints are playing the Bucs, or you're playing me.

Speaking of: please share with us the magic of having Kellen Boswell Winslow II on your team.

From the CBS message board:

Quote:

Drafting this guy is like buying soft serve ice cream on a 103 degree day in Las Vegas. You are all pumped to have your tasty treat and then you realize how bad of an idea it was when your ice cream is a gross fluid inside of a soggy cone.

Yeah, the thing to remember is that people hated Kellen Winslow II long before he was a Buc. Nobody likes the Browns or people from Miami U. It's your sad misfortune that your shiny new TE is so hated, but take it from someone who awoke one day to find a second round pick and another pick, a fifth I think, traded for Jeremy Shockey: FUCK THE NFL.

Wait, that's not the point I was tr-- FUCK THE NFL.

Oh. OH. Here's the other goddamn thing:

Quote:

Every time I wear my brand-new WINSLOW 82 jersey this year, I'll halfway be promoting the Roswell 51ers.

You know how I hate the Blue Jays, right? How they absolutely fucking sicken me and are probably the worst thing in my life right now? They and like three other teams played Musical Minor League Team Chairs during the off-season, and they ended up with the "Las Vegas 51ers."

Now, most teams with a number in their name have things that way because of a year. Like, the California Gold Rush was in 1949 or something. So when I went to make my team, I was like, "Oh. Oh, right, the Roswell UFO Crash must have been in 1951. I thought it was in 1947. B-b-b-but why else would the Jays' new minor league team be called that?"

WELL WELL WELL. Motherfuckers are called the "Las Vegas 51ers" in honor of AREA 51. AREA 51!!! It has nothing to fuckin' DO with Roswell, New Mexico. And now I feel like an asshole's extra because it's going to look like I don't know when the fake UFO crash was.

Honestly, I've never been a Winslow fan, and with the Bucs about to suck this year it was just the same motivation that made me want a Romanowski jersey in the latter days of his Broncos career. At least, when people give me shit, I can trot out the "I'm a fuckin' soldier!!" line and put them in their place.

That and the fact that it's one of the throwbacks, so I'll be sporting the creamsicle. I'm a fuckin' creamsicle soldier._________________The Post-Pessimist Association

I went to Jiffy Lube to get the oil changed in my car today. I hate sitting at those places for an hour getting nothing accomplished, but this was the first time I'd gone for such service with a phone that has the internet. OK, I wasn't strictly "productive," but I did read a week's worth of Deadspin while I waited.

That being said, I went through all the articles I cared about, and a copy of ESPN: The Magazine was there.

"Harold Carmichael's never been on the cover of ESPN the Magazine!" -- Randy Moss

They had a feature on Winslow II that made me dislike him less. In fact, the writer begins by revealing to the world what a maggot he (the writer) is - Winslow takes him out for Mexican food, and the reporter gets the shits. He has to bail on golf the next day or something. Winslow expresses concern for his fellow man, and the writer says, 'don't worry about it, I'm a fuckin' soldier!!'

Har har har. IT WAS YEARS AGO that Winslow let loose that diatribe YOU TEDIOUS SHIT.

There's a video floating around about some nerd who tried to get in Rob Liefeld's face, and drop off a copy of "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way" and it equally destroys the messenger much more than the subject. People trying to stick it to celebrities or tease them really doesn't work when it's done in person. It should be done from the safe distance of a blog or website._________________the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!