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Thursday, November 27, 2014

When I was
putting my son to sleep an hour ago, I was reminded again on how lucky I am to
be gifted with a loving son. He may not be perfect to others, but he is perfect
in my eyes and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have asked for more.

My son was
holding my hand tightly and I can see that he is afraid that I would be gone
when he wakes up the next day. And recently he has been asking me “Mamy, ma zai
khi to lok?” (Mommy, where are we going tomorrow?) before he sleeps. It
probably gives him an assurance that I will be there when I told him our plans
for tomorrow.

My heart
aches whenever I think about the emotional roller coaster that he has to go
through at such tender age. What was on his mind whenever I told him that mommy
is leaving for work tomorrow? He probably doesn’t understand the why his mommy
needs to go to work yet. But hopefully he will be able to understand that mommy
is deeply saddened too whenever mommy has to leave. And every time mommy
leaves, she left with tears falling from her eyes.

Back in KL,
friends and colleagues would have told me how lucky I was because I have all
the free time to myself after work as my son is with my mom in Butterworth and
I only see them once a month. Truthfully, if I have a choice, if we are more
financially stable, I would have bring them back to stay with me in KL or I
would rather move back to my small hometown to be with them.

That got me
think about how funny life perspectives can be, one simple action or choice can
mean so much different to people. It may look good on one hand but it may be a
torture on the other. And we may never know what it is like unless we
experience both sides ourselves. Which is why, it is important to always put ourselves
in others’ shoes and I need to keep in mind to not judge people on the decision
that they made as deep down, there must be a valid reason why they would make
such decision.