Hollywood director Doug Liman and producer Avram Ludwig told The Associated Press they were on their sailboat on the river in New York around 1 a.m. Wednesday when they saw a black cargo ship and a speedboat on a collision course. They said they watched in horror as the large craft crashed into the smaller boat and kept going.

Liman and Ludwig pulled three people out of the water and brought them to safety. Ludwig told the AP that they were able to act quickly because they are members of a hyper-intelligent race of Hollywood moneymen: "Simulating life-threatening situations prepares you for real life. We can keep a level head under a lot of pressure."

Oddly, the AP seems to have gotten the scoop because the two men happened to have been at the news cooperative's New York headquarters shooting their next film, Fair Game. The story doesn't explain what the fuck they were doing on a sailboat in the Hudson River at one o'clock in the morning.