This is the year you save up all that loose change and money you would have otherwise spent on beer and cigarettes, and use it to go on a vacation or eliminate your debt. But if you just have it burning a hole in your pocket, you'll spend it. You need a piggy bank. You might as well get the creepiest one you can find, if for no other reason than novelty. $30

Trying to eat healthier in 2012? What's wrong with you? You'll miss out on so many good foods (even if it means they'll ravage your heart). In any case, if a proper diet is what your after, you can always track down one of Jack LaLanne's Power Juicers. It'll mush, mash and mame all those vitamin-rich foods into a puree'd treat. And its namesake lived to be a million years old, so it must be effective, right?$100

Gadgets will not whip your body into shape. But apps such as RunKeeper, which allows you to log all your exercise-based activity, keeps you engaged with your fitness goals by constantly keeping your progress floating around in the back of your mind. Free

Smoking is bad for you and you want to quit. But that doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up Nicotine, which isn't quite as bad for you when you're not lighting tobacco on fire to get it in your system. The Fifty-One Trio employs a mixture of water, nicotine and Propylene glycol (apparently safe), to get you your buzz.$130

You hate your job. You want a new one. Searching for a new job requires spamming potential employers with resumes. Lots and lots of resumes. Printing these at the office where you're currently employed is a bad idea. You'll need a fast printer that can handle your demands. HP's Deskjet 1050 is fast and cheap. Win win.$77

Yes, it's that time of year where you try and convince yourself you're going to consume all the literary classics you should have read years ago. Unfortunately, that copy of Finnegan's Wake just looks too damn intimidating sitting on your nightstand and will likely go ignored for another 365 days. Maybe you should load it onto an eReader, like Barnes and Nobles Nook Simple Touch. It's like covering the timer of the treadmill with a towel when you're running at the gym. $100