Tag: Daily Caller

Americans by the thousands continued to express their most heartfelt regrets to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez over past criticism of her role in scuttling Amazon’s HQ2 project in Queens.

With last week’s news that Amazon would be bringing 1500 jobs to Manhattan, a triumphant AOC tweeted a photograph of herself Friday with the caption, “Me waiting on the haters to apologize after we were proven right on Amazon and saved the public billions.”

Almost immediately, Haters began begging for forgiveness and offering effusive praise to the Queens congresswoman. “Sorry I ever doubted you, AOC,” tweeted one constituent. “25,000 Amazon jobs over ten years was a sucky deal for us, but 1500 in another congressional district – SWEET!”

Haters from across the media landscape poured out their gratitude and attempted to get back into AOC’s good graces. “All this time I’ve been praising Donald Trump for his exceptional deal making with North Korea and China,” wrote a contributor to The Daily Caller. “Once again you’ve shown me the error of my ways, AOC. You are clearly as successful a deal maker as Trump, and your humility is rivaled only by our dear leader himself.”

A contrite Jeff Bezos offered his apologies as he hovered in his helicopter above New York City looking for a place to land, “Well, I gotta say, that gal’s got a lot of spunk. I’ve certainly met my match in AOC. Now would someone please build me a free private helipad so we could land this darn thing.”