Fat People On Tories Hit List

Companies such as Jacamo and Simply Be are being forced by the government to cover their products in deodorants that smell of sweat, urine and untreated diabetic infections to ensure the public's perception of fat people doesn't change.

With those who are overweight now being able to purchase normal clothing from a number of outlets, concerns have been raised from within the Tory party that "fatty boom booms" could be seen as normal and therefore become more difficult to ridicule.

The Tories seem to be getting their way as new rulings unveiled today state that before the sale of any clothing sized 16 and up it must be doused in one of the aforementioned deodorants, preferably leaving white patches on the armpits.

David Cameron made his viewpoint abundantly clear earlier by saying: "This is the right move. We love to hate fat people nearly as much as we used to love openly ridiculing blacks and Asians here at the Tory party. Fatties are now our last avenue for piss taking! We need them and their amusingly tomato stained shirts."

With fat people nationwide now being forced to buy disgusting clothes, second-hand stores are now seeing a spike in over-sized trousers, jumpers and tents being purchased and stolen.

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