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Dad-Daughter Date: It’s Just About… Life

How do you weave the past, the present and the future into a single night? Spend the evening with the person who nearly 16 years ago did the one thing no one else on earth could do…you made me a Dad.

In the span of one night Sophie you reminded me why the most innocent of decisions, the smallest of gestures can lead to the greatest gifts. We tend to forget how much time is valued, especially when you spend that time with those you value the most.

It was an off-the-cuff mention, a question and then a decision to attend the Chesapeake Shakespeare Company’s performance of A Christmas Carol in downtown Baltimore last night, which led to another lifetime of memories collected in one evening. After getting a post card in the mail a few weeks ago announcing the show, (yes snail mail still works), we decided we would try to attend just before winter break, a dad-daughter date. As an actress in the show last night explained through one of Charles Dickens classic lines,”such a small matter to make folks full of gratitude.” Sometimes that’s all it takes, a tiny gesture of goodwill, to spend a few hours one-on-one with you, and make the world a better place for me. To the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might just be the world.

The Past: Our decision to grab some dinner before the show, Indian cuisine, (subject to your approval first of course), which led to some great conversation about everything, including questions about my earlier life. You asked me about my former TV career and the question then centered on why I left. It’s interesting to re-tell the story to the one person for whom I made the decision to leave – the one person who at that time I decided I refused to miss out on – the person I would miss watching grow up if I didn’t take control of my destiny, before it was too late. It was the best decision I ever made, because last night there I sat staring across the table at this incredible person I’m so proud of and actually know… instead of wishing years later I hadn’t “missed out”.

The Present: Our entry into the Chesapeake Shakespeare Company Theatre and both our realization that here was a beautiful place we never even knew existed. A small venue, completely re-done but still adorned with some of the original architecture from more than a century ago.

There was the mutual understanding that you and I appreciate art more than most – especially performance art – and were ready to watch in wonder and give respect to those about to share their craft. Glancing over at you I saw that smile on your face and the bright light behind your eyes and I knew the decision to attend was a huge win…and honestly at that moment more for me than for you. The smallest of moments appreciated, because as we quickly learn, or at least try to teach ourselves, we must savor every moment because once it’s gone, it’s never coming back. On stage the actress was describing the transformation of Scrooge, “he learned that night how not to think, but to feel”. Sometimes we all get caught up thinking too much, worrying about the present and the future, instead of feeling our way through the days and moments of the present. Thank you for reminding me again what it’s like to simply feel and revel in the aura of the woman you are quickly becoming.

The Future: The lingering thought throughout the night, in the back of my mind, the one I kept trying to push away, of how precious these times are, how the years fly by as quickly as the three spirits show Scrooge the error of his ways. It won’t be long now before a night like this with you will be rare, just a few years before college and the lure of independence and adulthood are too much to ignore. It’s easy to look at you now and wonder just how bright your future will be – because just like the song playing on our drive home, Beneath Your Beautiful, is exactly the way I see you each day and my hope for you to keep it the same for all of your days.

And the more things change the more they stay the same. Just miles from home as you closed your eyes to rest, I glanced over at you, to get the glimpse of the same precious, peaceful face you’ve had since the day you entered this earth. As I did,Adele was singing the lyrics from her newest song – When We Were Young:

You still look like a movie,You still sound like a song.My God this reminds meOf when (you) were young

You will always be my little girl Sophie. Thanks for a special night and a reminder of how all the layers of my life, the past, the present and the future are forever bound up in a life I helped create.

Comments

Amazing! As the father of two little girls, this made me stop, think, and remind myself how precious time is and how present we must be daily in order to live life to the fullest. Your words and the way you write are truly inspiring. Thanks for sharing your gift with the world.

As I sat and read your blog today, I thought back to that night of January 9, 2000 when our
first granddaughter was born and how our life would never, ever be the same. With tears in
our eyes, your father and I are blessed to part of Sophie and Emily’s lives. It means everything
in the world to us. As always, your writing speaks from the heart!!

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

If I could go back home, if I could go back home. If I never left, I’d never have known. We all dream of leaving, but wind up in the end spending all our time trying to get back home again. – Elton John, Home Again It’s almost that time of year where plenty of […]

Sunday: Courage, hope, inspiration, someone born to do what they do, someone doing their best to excel in service to others, someone trying to become more. The Sunday Series (14): It’s Time You Know I am Mark Brodinsky. This is my blog. This is the Sunday Series, the signature feature of the blog these days […]