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Grow up, lads The Barclays Premier League is in the grip of an
epidemic. First Luis Suárez bites someone, then Fernando Torres scratches
Jan Vertonghen, the very same Belgian who had “dekegged” — the
technical term — Nicklas Helenius. The top flight has become a pre-school
playground.

Shifting sands Wednesday: Manchester United beat Liverpool. David Moyes
has “enjoyed the best start of any United manager since Busby”. Saturday:
Manchester United lose to West Brom. David Moyes has “endured the worst
league start of any United manager in 24 years”. Stats, ladies and gentlemen.