Ironically, the character Princess Elsa in the song 'Let It Go’, (which won the Oscar for Best Song) could have easily been a trans* woman. In Disney's film ‘Frozen’ the plot starts out when Elsa is a child and her parents advise her to hide her differences because they fear others will misunderstand and shun her. She is pretty much over sheltered and treated like a handicapped person. Her parents die unexpectedly and it is just her and her baby sister. She continues to live in the shadows thinking it would be better for everyone. When she comes of age she can no longer mask her birth challenge and when society finds out they become fearful and vilify her. She runs away from her family and kingdom and retreats to a new home which is marginalized on the outskirts of society. Though she misses her family at least she is allowed to live openly as who she is. Everyone seems to have an opinion on who she is but only those who love her really know. After sometime as a recluse she decides that she is strong enough to own her truth publicly and ventures back to pursue justice. She won’t let the close-minded society alienate and banish her any longer. Her love for her sister is more powerful then what other people think about her. In the end the people of the kingdom realize that although she is different (who doesn't have something different about them?) that she is not someone to be frightened of and in fact that she has a beautiful and big heart and has a lot to offer the community. It is a heartwarming story. I confess I have listened to this song on repeat many times because it really inspires me. While many people fail to understand why so many transsexual and transgender woman are feeling slighted by the Hollywood ‘trans face’ epidemic, the ramifications of institutionalized misgendering, transphobia (in both LGB and straight circles), the mockery that is Jared Leto’s ‘Rayon’ character and why he shouldn't have won the Oscar - it’s comforting to know that the heroine Princess Elsa very much does understand and has actually lived what many of my sisters and I have and continue to go through. My advice to the many gay, lesbian and cis-gender straight people going on and on about why transsexual and transgender women should relax, shut up and just accept the many problems raised by the Jared Leto/’Rayon’/Misgendering/Hollywood ‘trans face’ controversy is to maybe take step back and consider our feelings, our life experiences, our loss, our pain and our desire to be loved and appreciated for who we are in a world that continuously mocks, dehumanizes and vilifies us.
It’s not easy being the punch line of every joke or the punching bag of every bigot. Please exercise some compassion and actually listen. Being a true ally means listening, not arrogantly and cluelessly TELLING us our feelings are invalid. Be gentle with us. The authentic heart of the protest against Jared Leto’s transphobic public comments and the constant Hollywood ‘trans face’ is thousands of girls and women simply wanting people to acknowledge our humanity and affirm who we are. Here are the lyrics of the ‘Let It Go’ song which I and many of my trans* friends very much identify with: A kingdom of isolation, And it looks like I’m the Queen. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried Don’t let them in, don’t let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know Well, now they know Let it go, let it go Can’t hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the doorI don’t care What they’re going to say Let the storm rage on, The cold never bothered me anywayIt’s funny how some distance Makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me Can’t get to me at all It’s time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free Let it go, let it go I am one with the wind and skyLet it go, let it go You’ll never see me cry Here I stand And here I'll stay Let the storm rage on My power flurries through the air into the groundMy soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast I’m never going back, The past is in the past Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone Here I stand In the light of day Let the storm rage on, The cold never bothered me anyway