•At first glance butter wouldn't melt, but as they claw their way to power, some say that anything goes for the new Tories. Enter Rishi Saha, head of new media for the Cameroonies. He is alerted to a debate at London's City University, held on Tuesday under the auspices of the Media Society and Media Trust. The subject is new media and the election, and Rishi must be on the panel, he says. Nothing will stop him. And so he rings Media Trust and berates them. Then he rings the Media Society. Another ear-bashing. No result. So another day, another tack. "George" (presumably Osborne) and "Jeremy" (presumably Hunt, the shadow culture secretary) are very cross, he tells the organisers. They will go to the highest levels to get him a platform seat for "balance". Still no joy. So Rishi shifts again, suggesting that Nick Robinson, who is on the panel, and Evan Davis, who is chairing, might be reminded of their responsibilities as impartial BBC employees by "our broadcast team". No change there, and time is short. Thus the party's trump card. What, it said, if the Media Society and Media Trust, by refusing Tory demands, prompted questions about partiality and thus their charitable status? Bingo. Rishi makes it to the top table. It's a tough old game and they are all toughies. But, bullying is never very nice.

•Luckily some people can't be bullied. Alas for Tory education shadow Michael Gove, Andrew Neil looks like one of them. "You want to bring in elements of the Swedish school system here?" jabs Andrew lightly on the BBC's Daily Politics show yesterday. Oh yes, agrees Michael. "Why would you want to bring a system which over the last 15 years has plummeted in international league tables in maths and science," says Neil, by way of a right hook. "Well England has plummeted in international league tables," says Gove. "We're still ahead," says the questioner. Ding, ding. It gets worse. "You shouldn't have people in teaching who have third class degrees. You have to have at least a 2.2," says Gove. "So why do you have a maths adviser who has a third-class degree?" counters Neil, referring to Cameroon recruit Carol Vorderman. "Under your proposals she couldn't be a teacher." A straight knockout. Next!

•An important, nay a vital update: for sad to say, almost two weeks after we first revealed the cultural controversy over Chinese New Year celebrations in Bury St Edmunds, police inquiries continue into the behaviour of Lord Tebbit. You may recall that, irritated by the noise of it all, he interfered with the drummers and jostled (allegedly kicked) one of the revellers who was dressed as a Chinese dragon. Everyone has made up now, and yet, despite our demand last week that the police close the book, a spokesman yesterday confirmed that officers are "still looking into it". You expect more from the police. Didn't Norman's government give them lots of overtime during the miners' strike? They take the cash and then forget.

•Yesterday's piece on death threats from disturbed BNP types to Trevor Phillips and Dominic Carman, Nick Griffin's biographer and election rival, prompts memories from reader Mitch Mitchell, a former activist with the Anti-Nazi League. Once his phone rang hot with strange calls at strange times from strange men threatening to "do" him. "The best was from a gentleman purporting to be from 'the White Aryan Nationalist Coalition'," he remembers. "When I pointed out that the acronym of that was 'Wanc', the phone went dead."

guardian.co.uk

•Finally. A crisis. A newsflash. A statement. This is London. "The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has announced a rare Beardwah against BBC director general Mark Thompson (pictured) after he announced major cuts in BBC output. The BLF says that Thompson, who has a Clint Eastwood style beard, has been excluded from consideration for the Beard of Spring 2010 Award. A special BLF shaving squad will now seek to shave off his beard." Good luck. God speed. God Save The Queen.