Discovering me … one stitch at a time

Category: encouragement
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Thank you sincerely for your comments on my last post! You are all so sweet and kind!

Life around here is slowly returning to normal, as life tends to do. This Summer feels as if it’s simultaneously flying at lightning speed while also creeping along at a snail’s pace. It’s a strange, unnerving combination.

It seems like every day I am met with reminders that the boys are growing up. It might be a quick glimpse of one from behind and noticing that he looks more like a young man than a boy, or overhearing one talking to his friends with a lot of “hey bruh” and “yo bro” thrown in, or hearing about how one helped Tom install kitchen cabinets and build a deck and other non-kid-like activities, or finding out that the very littlest one is now only 1/4 of an inch shorter than I am. All of this is not helping my rather introspective and melancholy mood of late. Time is such a curious thing.

Fortunately, even amidst all of these changes, I can count on some things to stay the same, such as…

Charlie will always be adorable,

I will always think up new hair brained projects (such as stripping all of the early 90s wallpaper from our house),

Tom will always do something to make me laugh (Blue Steel on the trampoline),

Like this:

We started it off with a bang with Littlest graduating from Elementary School,

going fishing,

playing mini golf, cooking out, relaxing in the yard,

and I got a haircut!

Last Sunday, we celebrated Father’s Day. Littlest worked hard on a portrait of Coal for Tom. I am quite impressed with his thick and thin linework. So expressive!

We also baked this cake which was SUPPOSED to be a spongecake, but it didn’t rise so we called it a shortbread, but then it was very dry so we decided it was biscotti. Ha! It’s all in the marketing.

Besides all of the happy moments, we are having some big sadness right now with a very sick family member. Tom went down to do some work on the beach house this morning and sent me this photo from the foggy pier.

Like this:

What a doozy of a week we have had here in the United States. I have never been much into politics, but this election has affected me deeply. As a woman and a minority who came to this country as an immigrant, I feel personally touched by many of the issues that have been a source of much conflict and anger. Already, there are reports of hatred and cruel acts happening in our own city. It’s a scary time, with many people grieving a great loss and fearing an unknown future. It’s hard to make sense out of all of this.

We’ve been trying our best to trudge along in our little corner of the world. The boys are busy as usual with their million activities. Tom and I have been immersed in work and chores and watching The Crown on Netflix.

This weekend, we will run our first 5k as a family. Some of us (Biggest and Littlest) are more prepared than others (me and Tom), but we plan to stick together, encourage whoever is struggling, and do our best. I think that strategy can apply to a lot of things these days. Peace to you, Friends.

Like this:

It’s rainy, which means that my feet got all wet walking from the car into the office, but it’s not as hot and it’s kinda cozy and grey.

I came to terms with not being able to keep everything together on my own and asked our housekeeper to come back. I mean, who doesn’t love coming home to toilet paper roses?

My ultra food planning was a success. I packed lunches for the boys and Tom and me every single day this week. I love putting an extra treat in there for them, although yesterday I forgot Tom’s ice pack and his chocolate cookies melted into a big gooey mess.

I finally got a new fitbit and have met the 10,000 step goal every day except yesterday. One night, Tom and Littlest made some kind of deal before our evening walk about having to wear their clothes backwards. Don’t ask.

I haven’t been on Facebook since Monday! And I don’t miss it! And I feel better! There’s a lot to be said for blissful ignorance.

I got together with a friend in NY after a meeting on Wednesday. Usually I make plans and then cancel when my anxiety sets in (secret shame) but this time I stuck with it and we had a lovely visit.

Like this:

Here we are at the end of July already. I’ve been struggling with anxiety these days. It’s hard to avoid the bad news around us. Between the election drama and shootings and acts of terror, I worry all the time about the state of our world. Add to that the unrelenting noise of social media and the internet and negative opinions from angry people, I just can’t take it.

Times like this, I find myself retreating to home and simple tasks. I got so much done over the weekend. I made broth, soup, squash bread, enchiladas, and grilled chicken so we have a full fridge and easy lunches for the week. I laundered and shopped and organized cabinets and closets. There’s nothing quite like good old fashioned hard work and a sense of accomplishment. Being productive is so satisfying!

And best of all, I finally picked my long neglected stitching.

I’m working my way in from the right hand side now. Fingers crossed that the two sides will match up. You all know that moment when you hold your breath, right?

We got a new board game called Googly Eyes. You have to draw things while wearing vision distorting glasses while your teammate tries to guess what you’re drawing. It is pretty fun (and funny looking).

I guess we can’t control all of the craziness that’s going on out there, but we can choose to focus on the good and reflect happiness and change into our small part of the world. It’s not much, but maybe it makes a difference. We can only hope.

Like this:

It has been a really challenging few days for me health-wise. On Friday, I started feeling dizzy and tingly and lightheaded at work. By the time evening rolled around, I was bone tired and body achey and stomach achey as if I had the flu.

Of course, what do you do when you’re on the couch sick but check Google. Google told me that the symptoms that I was feeling could be due to gluten withdrawal and some people experience them when they start a gluten free diet. Imagine that! I had never heard of such a thing.

I felt really bad through the entire weekend to the point of wanting to just give up and eat a big old bagel already, but I am persevering and trying to think positively. This is a small price to pay in the long run if it does in fact help my issues. My current strategy is to lay off the “gluten free” flours and such (I was kinda excited to try all of them!) and just stick to eating clean and healthy and bland. Think meat, rice, broth, veggies and fruit.

But enough talk… pictures!

I am so thankful for the river. Lunchtime walks help keep me sane.

Gluten free banana bread. It was yummy! Will save this recipe for later when I can reintroduce some flours.

Oh Charlie! He is so mischievous. Can I seriously love this cat any more than I do?

Speaking of Charlie, that blur in his mouth is a chipmunk that he caught and brought inside. A lively chase ensued before we were able to get the chipmunk to run back outside.

I felt reaaaaaaally bad yesterday and anxious and panicky about things, so I went and sat under the big pine tree in our back yard. It’s kind of a magical place. Deep breaths. This too shall pass.

Like this:

On Sunday, I celebrated my 44th birthday. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that I am 44 years old. Inside, I feel so immature, all of… 12? 14 maybe? 36 on a good day? Age is such a funny thing.

But, back to the weekend. It was low key and lazy, which is pretty much perfect in my book. There was sushi and Vietnamese food and cake and lots and lots of flowers and hugs and maybe even a nap thrown in. What more could a girl want?

Like this:

Long time no see. I have been drowning a bit around here lately. There is too much to do and too little time. You all know that feeling, right? Some days I feel so overwhelmed that it seems I can hardly manage. I realize the weeks will pass, and everything that really needs to be done will get done, but BOY is it ever exhausting and terrifying and anxiety ridden and lonely feeling when it is looming right in front of you.

Today I am thankful for:

A very loving, supportive, & patient partner.

This little blog which has turned into a amazing place to let off some steam.

Like this:

I try not to be too complain-y on here because, really, who wants to read another person’s complaints? But sometimes it can’t be helped.

This weekend was challenging.

On Saturday, I got a ball kicked into my face at soccer. It wasn’t even my kid who did it. I saw stars and then had a bad headache for the weekend. Thankfully, I did not get a black eye, but am now traumatized about indoor soccer.

I was looking forward to the Super Bowl, but not for the same reason as everyone else. I was excited because no one was going to be home but me. I had it all planned out… dinner, a long hot shower, painting my nails or some other lazy self indulgent activity, reading and lights out by 9:00. Heavenly, right? I spent all day Sunday running around; shopping for a birthday gift, dropping Biggest off at a friends, dropping Littlest at a party, getting groceries in between, picking up Biggest and taking him to tennis. All the while with my eye on the prize… Super Bowl Sunday aloooone.

Then, it all started to fall apart. Biggest wanted to stay home and order Chinese and have alone time with me. OK… I guess if my son needs me, I can deal. Then Littlest wanted to stay home too. OK… how could I say no? Then, since the rest of us weren’t going, Tom decided to stay home too.

I suppose I can’t complain. There are worse things in life than spending an evening on the couch eating Chinese food with the 3 people I love the most, but yeah… so much for alone time. Maybe next year.

Then, I sent in paperwork for a $50 rebate one day too late.

Then, we had health worries.

Then, the piano tuner came to look at our piano. Apparently he tried it out and then covered his ears, shaking his head. It sounded that bad. Guess that’s what you get for a free piano.

Then, my anxiety went through the roof.

Then, it was another week.

…

So it is time to pick myself back up and try this again.

Today I am thankful for:

A good conversation on Saturday night

A reliable car that is safe and comfy and gets me anywhere I need to go

I’ve been so inspired by Biggest and Tom learning instruments that I thought I’d like to learn one too. And then I thought about how I’ve always wanted to play the piano and then I thought about how we don’t have a piano, so Wa-WAAAH. Then, what should come into our lives but a free piano! Huh? Isn’t that some kind of sign? I’m not one to ignore signs from the Universe, so piano lessons, here I come! This should be interesting.