Now Adrian, we need to have a little chat about the birds and the bees. When two grown-ups love each other very much, like Mr Mary and I do, sometimes they have a special cuddle that makes babies. Or get utterly shit-faced on Sauvignon, decide there's nothing on TV and forget that oral contraceptives only work if you take them. But it's a beautiful thing either way.

Ha - that's where you're wrong! I'll never get caught out, because I never forget to take my oral contraceptives and don't drink Sauvignon. Good job Mrs. J and myself opted to stick with the leathally strong spirits.