Mr. Briggs: Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too shit-faced to remember to pick you guys up.

Janey: Okay, bye, daddy.

Mr. Briggs: Bye, Pumpkin.

[Jake tries to serenade Janey Briggs at the football field to the tune of Aerosmith's Janey's Got A Gun]

Jake: Janey's got a gun. Janey Briggs got a gun..

Art student: [points to Janey] She's got a gun! [rest of class scatters while police are called in to subdue her]

Priscilla: I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-y.

Jake: What?

Priscilla: Some time to talk to you.

Janey: I have this dream of one day... just... hopping on a plane and going to Paris. There's an art school there...but I can't afford it. Unless there's some way of raising $26,000 before the admissions cutoff.

Jake: Oh my God, Janey, do you realize that my parents give a scholarship to a girl who can't get into art school every year?

Janey: [turns around, expectantly] Really? That's amazing!

Jake: Yeah! This year we gave it to Lupe Rodriguez, the Mexican fingerpainter. I think you'd really like her work.

Black Rival Cheerleader: We saw you at our game and we know you stole our routine!