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NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ONT.—It’s no fun being the skunk at a garden party, especially when the premiers are putting on such a polite show of hospitality.

But even after a glass of pan-Canadian beer (brewed specially for the occasion) on the verdant grounds of Niagara College where the premiers held court at sunset, one cannot tell a lie.

And so it must be said: The annual meeting of premiers, now known formally as the Council of the Federation, is a roundtable of rebels without a common cause.

Behind the scenes, the premiers are doubtless having worthy debates (or “conversations,” as this year’s host, Premier Kathleen Wynne, calls them). They are comparing “best practices” on health care and calling out Ottawa on job training, which is all well and good.

But there are limits. Overflowing with bitter grievances — unlike the sweet Niagara ice wine flowing freely at their Wednesday night garden party (thanks to local sponsors) — the council is running dry on content.

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The premiers have a perception problem.

And the fault lies with the council’s founding father, former Quebec premier Jean Charest. After coming to power in 2003, everyone’s favourite proto-federalist proposed the Council of the Federation, known colloquially as COF (as in cough).

Until then, the premiers had met annually without fanfare. A bit of jaw-jaw, followed by drinks.

The men bonded. And discussed how to reduce interprovincial trade barriers (the provinces are still working on that, all these years later).

Charest’s bright idea was to formalize those informal discussions by rebranding their ad hoc meetings as a federal council. It raised their profile, but also heightened expectations.

People expect a formal council to do more than merely talk or squawk. A council must act coherently.

That’s not something rival premiers do well.

All these years later, the COF sounds hoarse. Its communiqués are plodding and predictable, drafted long in advance.

Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall feels conflicted about the way premiers work out their conflicts at COF. He’d rather they downgrade their fancy title and raise their game — which is why he pointedly stayed away from a premiers’ meeting in Halifax last fall, listening in by phone from afar.

“We have a lot of meetings, all of us, and we’re not typically paying for them — Canadians are — so when we meet, let’s make sure we are focused on results,” he told me after Thursday’s session (when the premiers talked about how COF has turned out).

He’s not enamoured of the council’s formal name: “It’s Canada’s premiers. Let’s use language that Canadians use, and not language that sounds like we’ll be in Star Trek III.”

The best that can be said of COF is that it is no longer an old boy’s network. Now, five of the biggest and most powerful provinces (totalling more than 30 million people) are governed by women.

That’s a welcome change, but it hasn’t changed COF’s dynamic. Last summer, B.C.’s Christie Clark and Alberta’s Alison Redford were at each other’s throats at COF, feuding about pipeline rights and revenue splits. (B.C. and Quebec both opted out of a national energy strategy cobbled together by the other premiers this year.)

A change of gender doesn’t automatically engender harmony. This year’s COF is less tense — not because there are more premiers who are women, but fewer of them in pre-election mode with their elbows up (as Clark was a year ago).

Wynne, as this year’s host, has dusted off her skills as a former mediator to act as our cross-Canada conciliator. She is remaking COF into a council of brokerage. But it’s still not much of a nation-building exercise — especially now that a separatist, Parti Québécois Premier Pauline Marois, has displaced Charest.

Relationships are still important. Dalton McGuinty was close with Charest and made a point of befriending Redford when she came to power in Alberta — ties that Wynne and Redford have since nurtured. Redford tells me she learned from former Alberta premier Peter Lougheed that, to overcome provincial disagreements, “you’ve got to understand where the other person is coming from.”

But interprovincial relations are about more than friendships. They are about interests and sometimes self-interested provinces.

Amidst all the bonhomie behind closed doors, who is advancing the national interest? After 10 years of clearing its throat, COF still hasn’t found its truly pan-Canadian voice.

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