THE ADVERTISEMENT for The Express on the back cover of the current issue of Private Eye makes a range of proud boasts (see above). While Pandora supports the Plain English Campaign, she was surprised to see the mispunctuation of the word "it's" and the misspelt Geoffrey. "It was a hideous typographical error," says the Express's deputy editor, Chris Blackhurst, "but it certainly wasn't at this end." While senior executives rush full speed ahead to find the culprit, Blackhurst admits: "Unfortunately, mistakes do happen."

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SIR PAUL McCartney has given permission for a biography of the late Linda McCartney to be published in November in Britain by Little, Brown. Danny Field is the man who will pen the work. He met the then Linda Eastman in 1966 while she was in New York photographing the Rolling Stones. Sir Paul has not yet agreed to be interviewed for the book. "It was never a precondition that I had to show it to him before it's done. And I don't think there will be a need to show it to him," says Field. Besides, after all the fuss the former Beatle made about radio stations banning Linda's last song, "The Light Comes From Within", censorship would surely be the last thing on the Macca's mind.

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THERE WAS a distinct smell of New Labour in the air at the 10th anniversary dinner for the One World Action charity on Tuesday night. The charity, which has influenced Labour's international policy, attracted among others, Richard Attenborough, Cherie Blair (pictured), Ben Elton, Ben Kingsley, Glenys and Neil Kinnock, Kathy Lette and Geoffrey Robertson QC. A speech from the founder member Sir Sigmund Sternberg raised Pandora's eyebrows when he lamented that so many important issues are "reduced to the size of a soundbite". Surely, New Labour were the architects of this method? Never mind. He made it up to the Blairs by wishing them "happily established in Number 10 long after they qualify for their bus passes!" A blushing Cherie told Pandora: "I think that would be very tiring."

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URI GELLER is in good spirits this week. The last time he hit the headlines was when the former England coach, Glenn Hoddle, publicly denied that he and the faith healer Eileen Drewery had visited the Israeli spoon-bender's home last summer. "He sat in my living-room, with my wife and children, and then denied it," Uri told Pandora. "It was terrible for my son, who then was teased at school because the other children thought that he had been lying." While Geller would not speculate on who he thought should take over from Hoddle, he was happy to discuss a book, Uri Geller, Magician or Mystic, penned by journalist Jonathan Margolis. The Chinese rights have just been sold. "I have never been to China, but I'm looking forward to going," he said. But what will he bend if he gets interviewed there? A wooden chopstick?

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THE CHESTERFIELD hotel in Mayfair has just introduced five themed bedrooms. One is dedicated to the symphony orchestra; another has a jungle theme, presumably for those who enjoy a little rumble in the jungle; but Pandora's favourite is the one dedicated to the theatre, which has a piece of fabric over the bed which was once part of the curtain of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. Couples will be invited to bring the curtain down on their own performances.

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PANDORA HAS heard of people not being allowed into trendy clubs and bars because they are wearing trainers, or even suits. But on Tuesday night at Marco Pierre White's Titanic restaurant in London, a pretty young thing was refused entry because she was eating some chocolate. "You can't go in there eating that," said the clipboard Nazi. "Marco doesn't like that kind of thing."