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people DAIlY Saturday, November 22, 2014 Love&Last With WaIThEra OTIENO @loveNlust69 She lives by the mantra that you do not have to put a ring on it, and marriage is not for her. Yet she believes she is the winner in the threesome Mpango wa kando by choice By Wambui Muriithi @wambuiMN way it usually does. She did not meet him when he was married. Instead, he met his wife when he was with her, and she knew about it all. So accepting was she of it that the day her boyfriend went to pay the bride price, she was part of the groom’s entourage as a friend. Why? “We decided that it wouldn’t work out between us if we got married. The main reason is that we want different things in our future,” says Margaret. “My career is going to force me to move around a lot, while he wanted a woman who would not mind staying at home to take care of the kids just like his mother did. Family was also an- M TrendsvilleWith WAIRIMU NYINGI St Ives Nourishing Vanilla Sometimes, it’s really hard being a girl. What’s my dilemma today? Bath and body as always. Some people dream about the beach, soaking in the sun while my definition of me time is soaking in a tub. But that’s only fun when your bath and body products don’t backfire on you. And I guess after countless run-ins with the wrong kind, when you find your ‘one’, you stick to it like white on rice. St Ives bath products have become my new addictions. They are naturally nourishing. They leave your skin touchably soft. What’s even better is that it’s Sh100 per cent natural moisturiser, that is paraben free and all natural ingredients. Priced at Sh695 in supermarket outlets. PS, I’d start with the orchid and vanilla if I were you. argaret Njeri chose to be the other woman, but it did not happen the Sheila Wachira, marriage counsellor. other reason. We both knew that there was no way our families would accept our relationship. I am a Seventh Day Adventist and my father expects me to marry someone from our church. Also, my boyfriend, while successful in business did not go past Form Four in his education. I’m protecting him from the viciousness of my family.” Margaret says that her boyfriend decided to look elsewhere for marriage because as he got older, the pressure to settle down became too much. Many women are proudly accepting to be the other woman, prefering this status to being the main ‘chic’. As Millicent Atieno puts it; “I get the benefits of having a boyfriend and the freedom of not having a husband, which are no drama, no embarrassment, no shared accounts and all those other things married women have to endure,” she says. Millicent, 27 and a banker by profession has sworn off marriage. She reasons that the main reason so many girls prefer being ‘clandes’ is because most men are not straight-forward, and cheat. “Why would I want to be the wife, when she’s being lied to and cheated on while the other woman is being told the truth and has a good idea where her WhY WomeN prefer to be A mWK • They get the benefit of having a boyfriend, including financial security and having someone to have fun with. • One gets to move on with her career without hitches, especially when there are no kids involved. • Fear of commitment. Challenges of being a mWK • There’s no guarantee that he will not cheat on you. The fact that he cheated on his wife means he may also cheat on the two of you. • He is bound to be with his wife, sometimes even when you need him most. The feeling of being used may set in, since in a male dominated society, everything has to work according to the man. ‘borrowed man’ is when he’s not with her?” she asks defiantly. However, marriage counsellor Sheila Wachira says that it is a wrong perception that marriages are not working, and that makes many women afraid to go into that commitment. “We see on TV how pastors are cheating on their wives and other such stories and start to think that all marriages are doomed to fail. When women see dysfunctional relationships such as those, they start to fear Casillero del Diablo reserva Chardonnay Sex during pregnancy It is possible to be a sexy mumto-be while still enjoying your beautiful baby bump. Today, we address the four most common sex concerns during pregnancy. 1. Is it ok to have sex while you are expectant? While some women can’t stand the thought of it, some have enjoyed adult play until their water broke. of commitment is a big contributor to women choosing to be the ‘other woman’,” she says. Sheila also believes that a number of these women are as finan“They do not think getting that the faster it comes the faster it fulfilling the benefits. One can get money and connections and whatever else they seek, but when they grow older they will crave companionship. It will be harder to get a spouse then, and the dangers of delayed motherhood are bad. If one has a child already, they are going to raise them without their father. Such implications don’t cross the mind of a woman who chooses to be a MWK,” she says. Sociologist Daisy Oruko reiterates this, “Women who choose to be the ‘other woman’ hardly ever think of the long term; they seek temporary satisfaction instead,” she says. According to Oruko, cases such as Margaret’s when simplified, come down to fear of commitment. Interstellar Over the past few years, I have become what you would call a collector. From river rocks, magazines, books, recipes, wines... it’s sort of become second nature. Yet in all this time, I never gave much thought to Chardonnay. It didn’t seem like my thing. And when you’re a wine person you sort of become an expert. So, it was a huge surprise when on a night out, a light lemon yellow with expressive and attractive aromas of pineapple, citrus, and vanilla caught my taste buds. This elegant wine is balanced with bright acidity and a long, memorable finish. This Chardonnay is an expressive and elegant wine with exceptional varietal flavour. It’s excellent with seafood, poultry, medium-sauced pastas as well as most cheeses. A bottle goes for about Sh1,600 depending on where you buy it and I have to say, it’s worth a buck load and more. 2. Can sex during pregnancy cause miscarriage or harm the baby? No. Early miscarriages are usually attributed to chromosomal abnormalities or other problems in the developing baby. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby. The thick mucus plug that seals the cervix guards against infection. 3. When should you see a doctor with regard to sex and pregnancy? It’s normal to feel some cramping during or just after your bedroom romp. If the cramping persists beyond the first few minutes or if you have pain or bleed after sex, see your doctor. 4. What are the possible sex positions during pregnancy? Passionate cow girl: Straddle your partner as he lies on his back. This way, there’ll be no weight on your abdomen and you can control the depth of penetration. Sensational seat: Straddle and ride your partner as he sits on a sturdy chair. Delicious spooning: Lie sideby-side with your partner facing your back and entering you from behind. Original doggie style: Support yourself on your knees and elbows, with your partner behind you. Interstellar is a bold, beautiful cosmic adventure story with a touch of the surreal and the dreamlike, and yet it always feels grounded in its own deadly serious reality. Matthew McConaughey’s fans are gonna go wild once they see Interstellar. It’s a film by Christopher Nolan. The script has the best Sci-Fi action. Earth has been ravaged by an environmental disaster known as the Blight. It has forced humanity to abandon technology and the dreams of discovery, in order to focus on basic survival. Yet, even as conditions become increasingly dire on Earth, Cooper’s thirst for scientific discovery remains. It’s all ab life & style