ALSO BY KYRA DAVIS

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ABOUT KYRA DAVIS

I'm the internationally published author of the Sophie Katz mystery series, and So Much For My Happy Ending. My first Erotic Fiction Trilogy will be released in January 2013.

Aside from that, I'm a single mom; I'm addicted to coffee and True Blood (the show, not the drink). I'm happy with who I am yet I’m always striving to be better; I have more bad hair days than good ones, I love a challenge but I am not fearless, I’m….well…just me.

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Sorry to have been out of touch! If you’ve emailed me give me a few more days and I WILL get back to you! You see, I’m in the Hamptons right now Dahling. I flew in to New York on Thursday and spent my first day in Manhattan (always fun) and then on Friday my publicists (Tori and Monica) and I were in the car and off to the Hamptons. The major California cities are no stranger to traffic, in fact LA is renowned for its perpetual gridlock but the traffic from Manhattan to the Hamptons on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend rivals anything LA or San Francisco can produce. Apparently it normally takes a little under 2 hours to get to the Hamptons from New York. It took us well over four hours. But once we got here everything became significantly more relaxed.

My first stop was my hotel. From the outside, The Atlantic Hotel is reminiscent of the no-frills beach motels in Santa Cruz. But then you go into the lobby and you begin to see little signs of luxury. For their guests they have provide baskets overflowing with the most delectable fruit along with Tazo tea and …you guessed it, Starbucks Coffee! You’ve got to love that. As for my room; it’s beautiful. I almost feel like I need to find some guy to take home just so I can show him my place! I can visualize it now, “Yeah, yeah, I think you’re hot too…can you believe how spacious this place is? And what about my cool little settee and these fabulous curtains? Now those are hot!”

We then went to Bamboo, a wonderful Asian Fusion restaurant/bar. The food was a blend of Japanese, Chinese and Thai. These different countries may have severe political and social differences but their cuisine gets along spectacularly well!

After chit chatting with Tori and Monica over cosmos I began to realize what the difference is between New Yorkers and Californians and it is as follows: New Yorkers are sure that there is a big difference between the two groups and are fascinated by it while Californians spend very little time thinking about it nor do they necessarily think that there is much of a difference at all. Monica told me that her sister held a party with a “Northern California theme.” Apparently that means that all the guests were expected to wear flip flops and denim cut offs while sipping soy milk and Coronas. The only time my friends and I wear flip flops is when we are either at the beach (which is not a daily activity) or when we’re getting a pedicure. However I do like soy lattes and Coronas….

Anyway, the next day was my Champaign and Strawberries (and gourmet cookies) book signing at The Open Book in Westhampton. I love, love, love that book store! Terry, the owner, is one of the nicest most genuine people I’ve ever met and it’s clear that her customers feel the same way. If she recommends a book, they listen. Of course the strawberries and Champaign were fabulous and get this; they even had not 1, but 2 Frappuccinos waiting for me when I arrived! Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen; they provided me with caffeine, alcohol and sugar all in the space of a one signing event! If they were trying to buy my love they succeeded.

And now my big night is just hours away! That would be my launch party. A bona fide red carpet event with media, socialites and a few celebrities to boot! Shoshanna will be dressing me for the party (as she did for the book signing) and then Shu Uemura will be introducing their new mascara (not yet available in stores) in my gift bag and their top make-up artist will be on hand to apply their fabulous false eyelashes onto the guests in attendance.

There’s also a Red Dress Ink party in Manhattan on Tuesday but I’ll blog about that later. Right now I have to go prep myself for the day’s activities.

Now that I've tackled race, sex and money in my previous posts, I feel I am ready to devote my key clicks to an equally important issue: Bad Song Lyrics.

Now, I happen to be one of those odd people who actually judge a given song based more on lyrics than on music. This is possibly because, as my much more musically talented brother is fond of telling me, I am a rhythm-challenged, melody wasteland.

Be that as it may, I am a song lyric aficionado. Good ones make me consider giving up ever writing another word myself (a particularly favorite example, Stephen Sondheim's "I'm Still Here," wherein the singer explains, "I career from career to career." Brilliant!).

Bad lyrics, on the other hand, make me angry.

There are several categories of bad lyrics in my world.

Category #1: Stupid Rhymes

For instance, when Celine Dion sings in "My Heart Will Go On" that "Love can touch us one time/And last for a lifetime," this is not, technically, a rhyme. It's the same freakin' word!

Then there are gratuitous, have-nothing-to-do-with-anything lyrics, ala The Turtles "So happy together/And how is the weather?" Do turtle emotions affect global climate change? I had no idea!

Honorable mention for the above pointlessness goes to a line from "Les Miserables." A hooker croons to a potential John, "Come on, Captain/You can wear your shoes./Don't it make a change to have a girl who can't refuse?" I suppose she could have sung, "Come on, Captain, you can bring your hoe/Don't it make a change to have a girl who can't say no?" Or even, "Come on, Captain, you can eat some honey/Don't it make a change to have a girl who wants your money?" But that would have been equally inane.

Also inane is changing the pronunciation of a word so that it rhymes when it actually doesn't. The word "pajamas" does not, as a rule, rhyme with "farmers." Yet it does in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" according to Tim Rice. "All these things you saw in your pajamas/Are a long-range forecast for your farmers." Even with an English accent to help the alleged rhyme along, survey says no.

Category #2: Lyrics That Make You Wonder about the Singer's Sanity

As Bette Midler stands "by the side of the road/Waiting for my new friends to come," does she give any though to the caliber of people they might turn out to be? And is she perhaps the person sung about in "The Great Imposter, i.e. "All her friends they just watch her/For they know the great imposter" Certainly nice of them to merely stand by and not do anything. Like offer a word of warning. Great friends!

Anyone ever suspect that Billy "Then she'll carelessly cut you/And laugh while you bleed" Joel and Rod "Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried" Stewart are dating the same woman?

Category #3: Factually Incorrect Lyrics

In "Half Breed," Cher croons, "The Indians said I was White by law/The White Man always called me Indian Squaw." What U.S. law, exactly, was it that granted White status to half-breeds in the time of the Cherokee?

"You are the Wind Beneath My Wings." That's nice. Except that, according to my nuclear engineer/science teacher husband, birds fly due to the wind over their wings, not under. Wind beneath your wings would cause you to crash and die.

Don't worry. I have many, many more examples. But now I'd like to hear your faves.

Kyra here: I'd actually like to hear your "faves" too (and I KNOW you have some). And while you mull it over check out Alina's website!

Now here’s the thing about Kirkus: they hate EVERYBODY. Well okay, that’s an exaggeration but it is true that of all the publishing trade periodicals they are the least likely to give any author a free ride. It doesn’t matter if the genre is mystery, literary, non-fiction or chick-lit. They are completely unbiased when it comes to doling out criticism. For the record, of the four major publishing trade magazines (Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, The Library Journal and Kirkus) Kirkus is the only one that has never reviewed me so I’m not trying to justify some negative remark they threw my way. I honestly don’t know if they’re aware of my existence and that’s fine with me.

But I’m getting off topic, the point is that Kirkus loved Pug Hill and if they loved it it’s a sure bet that everybody else will too. I’ve only just started reading it but Pace’s heroine, Hope McNeill, has already managed to endear herself to me.

The book begins with a description of Pug Hill, the spot in Central Park where everybody takes their Pugs. Hope, who adores this breed of dog, goes there on a regular basis despite the fact that she doesn’t have a Pug. Her reasons for remaining petless are due to her long hours away from her apartment, the size of said apartment, timing in terms of what’s going on in her life and so on and so forth. Is she making up excuses? Absolutely. But this excerpt explains how Hope managed to win me over so quickly:

Usually I’m the only one at Pug Hill without a Pug. And that may seem kind of sad, but actually it’s not. I like to think that, in its own way, it’s rather hopeful really, if you think about it.

It’s Hope’s adeptness at conveying her unique and charming world view through seemingly mundane observations that makes her so appealing. Yes she’s flawed but even when she’s not completely happy with her life she manages to recognize hope when others would have only seen cause for pessimism.

There’s no question about it, Pace’s star is on the rise. Her first book, If Andy Warhol Had A Girlfriend was also adored by critics and for good reason. So check out her book and check out her blog (especially if you love Pugs!).

Oh and tomorrow Alina will be guest blogging so be sure to stop by and join the fun!

I love the reader emails I receive. I find them to be motivating, inspiring, often amusing and frequently touching. Plus it tickles me to learn that people from all walks of life are reading my books. I’ve received emails from high school students, lawyers, stay-at-home-moms, morticians (yes, really), authors and socialites. No matter who they’re from the messages always make me smile. What can I say? It’s nice to know that I’m making people happy!

But every once in a while one email will standout from the rest. Like the two college girls who wrote to tell me that they went to a Times Square Starbucks and tried to order Sophie’s Carmel Brownie Frappuccino (sadly discontinued shortly before the release of Sex, Murder And A Double Latte). When the Barista didn’t know the drink the girls read him the part of my book where Anatoly steals Sophie’s New York Times right before she orders the now notorious beverage. The Barista was amused and while he didn’t have any Brownie bits he did try to recreate the drink for them using chocolate chips.

Then there was the mother who wrote to tell me that her 19 year old daughter had always hated reading but she liked the title of my book and with a little prodding decided to give it a go. She loved it and has now discovered that reading for pleasure is a worthwhile activity. That email had me on cloud nine for days.

Then today I got another “standout” email. It was from a mother of three. Her husband is in Afghanistan and she’s doing her best to raise the kids on her own until he comes back safely (God willing). She wrote to tell me that my books have provided her with a much needed escape; that they have made her laugh during a stressful time. This email got to me in a big way. I wrote Sex, Murder And A Double Latte because I needed an escape and I submitted it for publication with the hope that I would be able to provide that escape for all the other overwhelmed people out there. She wrote to thank me but I think I should be thanking her. By selecting my books for purchase she has elevated my career and by letting me know how I have helped her she has elevated my spirits.

On that note: I will be speaking at the Barnes & Noble in San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf on Thursday May 18th at 7:00. This will be my last Northern Californian book signing until the end of June and I would love to see as many of you there as possible! The only thing better than getting a reader email is meeting a reader face to face!

I’m not a huge “holiday” person. It’s not that I have anything against them but I don’t freak out if I forget one or two. That even goes for my birthday. Sometimes I get a bee in my bonnet and throw together some kind of soiree or special outing (or allow someone to plan one for me) but if the day passes by without much fanfare I’m certainly not going to go into a depression.

But Mother’s Day is different. This is the only holiday that I’ve earned with a capital E. My son is only six so I don’t expect him to buy me a week’s vacation on a cruise ship or anything but he’s smart enough to know that this is a day when he needs to be NICE. Furthermore I actually don’t usually have to remind him. Since he was four he’s been climbing into my bed on Mother’s Day morning with a hug and a present for me.

The first time he did this my gift was a stack of blank paper. “It’s so you can write your Sophie books mommy! Now you can make all your dreams come true!”

Is my kid fabulous or what?

So tomorrow should be good. My son and I have picked out our gift for my mom (I can’t tell you what it is, she reads this) which we will present to her on the family picnic we have planned.

You may not realize it, but all of you have given me a Mother’s Day gift as well: I just got my first royalty check for Sex, Murder And A Double Latte. For those of you who don’t know, royalty checks are what authors get when their book sells better than expected. How much is it? Well it’s enough to cover the costs of some of the rather pricey special programs I wanted to get my son involved in to help him deal with his learning differences. I can’t even tell you how much this means to me. I know this is going to sound contrived but it’s not even exclusively about the money. It’s knowing that you are out there supporting me, buying my books and recommending that your friends do the same. Like my son, you have given me what I need in order to make my dreams come true. So to all my readers, and I mean all of you, whether you bought my book in the States, the UK, Canada, Australia or Italy, thank you! And for all the moms out there: Happy Mother’s Day!

Oh, and just so you don’t think I’m some kind of purely altruistic saint, some of the money will be going toward an outfit to wear to the Book Launch party my publisher is throwing for me in the Hamptons. What can I say; if someone throws you a party in the Hamptons you have a duty to show up looking as fabulous as possible!

In response to all the emails I’ve gotten regarding Alina’s guest blog, particularly those from my younger readers, I want to emphasis here that I do not, not, NOT think that underage girls should be engaging in oral sex. I don’t think that’s what Alina was trying to suggest either but if you would like to question her directly check out her website and you will find her email address listed there.

I know that for teens, oral sex is becoming an acceptable and, within the high school/middle-school social network, encouraged way of being intimate with your boyfriend. I know that a lot of you (as is evident from some of your emails) are doing this because you’re scared of being alone and ostracized by both your male and female peers who may very well label you a prude or the like. I even know that the justification for all this is that it’s not really sex so you can do this and still claim to be a virgin.

There are a lot of public service messages out there explaining why you should hold off until you’re older before engaging in this kind of behavior and I have no interest in parroting what I’m sure you’ve already heard so let me approach this from a different angle: what exactly are you getting out of this? Do you really love giving blow jobs? Because most women I know don’t. In fact I only know one woman who ever claimed that she had a burning urge to frequently give them to her then boyfriend and that only lasted for a short period of time while she was trying to give up smoking. She had to put something in her mouth so why not?

As a general rule, women (healthy, well adjusted, adult women) give their significant others oral sex because they want them to either return the favor or because they want to get them so excited that they will ravish them in other ways. I hate to say this but more often then not it’s a tool. But teenage boys are inexperienced (no matter what they tell you) and trust me when I say that you don’t want an amateur to return that kind of favor. So if you’re giving your boyfriend blow jobs just because you’re afraid of losing him you need to ask yourself, is it possible that the guy you’re with is worth losing? You’re doing something that, based on some of your emails, you’re clearly not that comfortable with and you’re getting nothing in return! Saying no in this situation does not make you a prude, it makes you self-assured! You’re too good, too cool, too fabulous to allow yourself to be used as somebody’s sex toy. You can hold out until you feel ready to become sexually active and then it can be on your terms, not on the terms of some stupid jock who can’t even spell orgasm let alone give you one.

When you do become sexually active you should feel great afterwards. It should take hours, maybe even days to get that silly grin off your face. If you feel dirty, used or ashamed afterwards something’s wrong. If your “friends” label you a prude because you won’t play that way, if the popular boys won’t date you then fuck ‘em (figuratively speaking). They’re the sheep, you’re the STAR and if you don’t like the movie you’re shining in then pick a different one. Stars can afford to be choosy.

According to the Pittsburgh-Tribune Review : Mt. Lebanon School District suspended a high school student Thursday for his involvement in a sexually explicit list about high school girls…The "Top 25 in 2006" list, which surfaced last month, graded girls' body parts and described in graphic detail some of their alleged eating disorders, drug addictions and sexual activities.

A parent who found the list brought it into the school principal. Police were called, and an investigation launched. Parents of some of the girls on the list are threatening a lawsuit, saying that the girls were so embarrassed by the list, that they skipped school. Criminal charges are being considered.

Let’s, for a minute, ignore the free speech issue. Let’s ignore the fact that the alleged crime did not take place on school property so where exactly the principal’s jurisdiction came in is a bit fuzzy, at least to me.

Let’s talk, instead, about the following: Were the sexual activities of the girls described in the list forced activities? If so, then this is a case of assault and should be prosecuted in a court of law, not in the school.

However, if the sex acts were voluntary… where, exactly, is the crime?

The sad thing is, I think there is an entire generation of young girls who have already missed the point so horribly, I don't know that they have a clue -- for their "willing[ness] to give oral sex" is becoming a sort of litmus test in high school now. Many girls are being told by peers (and mostly boys) that in order to keep the boyfriend, she's got to perform oral sex, and the cuter/richer the boyfriend, the more girls (and skill levels) he's got to choose from. And so it's a victory to beat out other "willing" girls if you get "chosen" by the cutest / richest boy. When that's a standard at a school (and it's fairly common if I can believe what my sons tell me now)... the fact that they aren't humiliated at being on the list is just one more indication that they have either zero self-esteem or such screwed up priorities, I don't know that they will ever realize the damage this sort of list does to them.

So. Let me get this straight: Modern day high-school girls, raised by feminist mothers, in a society of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and Maureen Dowd, these middle-class, white girls are poor, shrinking violets unable to make up their own minds as to whether they wish to engage in sexual acts? And if they do, it’s only because they were peer pressured into it?

If a girl gets her self-esteem from having the best grades in school, that’s reason to cheer. But if a girl gets her self-esteem from being the one every boy in school wants to date, well, then, she just doesn’t know any better? Why is it okay to get praise for your soccer-playing abilities, and not for your blowjob abilities? They both require practice and skill.

Is that what feminism was all about?

Infantalization?

And while we’re on the subject: I know we all hate Tom Cruise. Bad, Scientologist Tom and his evil minions have brainwashed poor, sweet, doe-eyed, innocent Katie Holmes into switching religions, having a “silent birth” and raising her child in her husband-to-be’s faith.

The poor, shrinking violet again. This couldn’t possibly have been her decision. (I am a big believer in the epidural, but if you knew how many moms-to-be cheerfully chirped to me that they were going to handle labor with just a few deep breaths and some whale songs… And they were not talked into it by evil men; usually it was their fellow Sister-Mothers who made it clear that “natural” was the only way to go.)

When I told my non-Jewish husband that the only way I would marry him would be if he agreed to raise our children Jewish, then had him stand by twice (so far) as our sons were ritually mutilated when they were eight days old, no one suggested that he couldn’t decide what he wanted for himself and had been brainwashed by evil me. (Well, his parents maybe, but that’s another story for another time…)

So, according to the law and the National Organization of Women, a 13 year old girl – sorry, woman – can decide all by herself whether or not she wants to have an abortion, but not if she wants to give her boyfriend a blowjob (or, for that matter, if she herself wants to get a boob job; but, that too is another post for another time…)

Switching narrators for a moment: it's me, Kyra here: If you read my last blog you know that I strongly believe that we should listen to the opinions of others even if they are in conflict with our own. I know that many of you have strong feelings about the subject Alina addressed and I encourage you to post a comment expressing them (as I have done). I have changed the setting on this site so that all readers can post comments (not just registered ones) so let the discussion begin. I also encourage you to check out Alina’s site to learn more about the lady of the hour.

That apology is for those of you who showed up for my signing at M is For Mystery . I was driving in to that event from Santa Cruz. It normally takes about 45 minutes to an hour to get from Santa Cruz to San Mateo but then normally a big rig doesn’t turn over and cause what looked to be an 8 car accident. That plus a little construction turned a 45 minute drive into a 3 hour commute. I had budgeted extra time but not three hours worth and I ended up not getting to M is For Mystery until 3:00. My signing was scheduled for 2:00. Again, I can not tell you how sorry I am about that! If you came and would like your book signed please email me privately and maybe I can find a way to make that happen. I did eventually get to M is For Mystery and I had a wonderful chat with it’s owner, Ed. I of course apologized to him as well but I want to do it one more time (this time in print). It was very kind of him to host me and I feel awful about my extreme tardiness.

On the flip side I want to thank all of you who came to Alexander Book Co. on Friday! And an extra big thank you to their special events coordinator Bernard! I love Bernard! It’s not just that he’s fun, sweet and a great host but he’s one of those few people who knows how to disagree without being disagreeable. We have different feelings about the “African American” section in bookstores. I think African American sections unnecessarily pigeonhole a lot of books that would otherwise appeal to readers of all races and he feels that the section encourages the support of Black readers who would otherwise miss the books that are written from a perspective they find easy to relate to. I only mention this because Bernard and I had a discussion about this. Not an argument, not a debate, a discussion. Neither of us changed our minds but we respected one another’s views and sadly that’s a rarity these days. It often feels like people are become less and less tolerant of dissenting opinions and that is not only sad but it is actually dangerous. We don’t all think alike and if we can’t accept that as being okay and even advantageous for a society that wants to continue to prosper, we are setting ourselves up for trouble.

But this is not Bernard’s problem and I actually had a great time talking to him. If you live in the South Bay check out his public access TV show on channel 29, Bernard’s Book shelf. I guarantee you it will be informative and entertaining!

The Barnes & Noble ReviewIn Passion, Betrayal and Killer Highlights -- the sequel to Kyra Davis's 2005 debut novel, Sex, Murder and a Double Latte -- frappuccino-addicted murder mystery novelist and amateur sleuth Sophie Katz is faced with a new whodunit, this one involving her sister, Leah, and brother-in-law, Bob, who turn up dead only hours after confessing his infidelity.

With numerous bullets in Bob's head and his gun missing, Leah becomes the prime suspect. But Sophie knows her sister could never commit murder and, with the help of hunky Russian private investigator Anatoly Darinsky, sets off to find the real killer. It soon becomes apparent that Bob was far from an ethical man: He was cheating with not one but three women, and he might well have been involved in far more nefarious activities. But as Sophie and Anatoly close in on the killer, Leah -- the grieving widow -- decides to have her navel pierced and get burgundy highlights in her hair…

A witty and engaging blend of chick lit, pop culture, and amateur-sleuth whodunit, Davis's San Francisco-based saga will appeal not only to female readers but to any mystery fan who has an offbeat sense of humor. Davis effortlessly explores serious social issues -- racial discrimination, sexism, adultery, multiculturalism, etc. -- while keeping the mood light and laugh-out-loud funny. Additionally, the cornucopia of subtle symbolism throughout (like the exploding Barbie Dream House) is priceless. To borrow a line from the book: "Fabulous, absolutely fabulous!" Paul Goat Allen

That my friends is what you call a rave. My little Sophie book is now a featured title in B&N's mystery newsletter (along with bestselling novelists, Charlaine Harris, Ken Bruen and Jason Starr) and on the B&N website!

I’ve always liked Barnes And Noble but now I love them, love them, love them. As far as I’m concerned they are the Starbucks of all bookstores. (Note to Booksense and Borders: if you want to woo me all it takes is a positive review placed in any one of your newsletters and/or websites. There’s room in my heart for all of you).

Okay, now that I’m done gushing let me remind those of you who live or work in or around San Francisco that I will be speaking at Alexander Book Co. at 12:30. Of all my scheduled signing events this one is the most questionable in terms of attendance. It has nothing to do with the bookstore. Alexander is great and even if you can’t come see me you should definitely check them out next time you're in their neighborhood. The problem is the time. Alexander is located in the heart of the financial district and so by having 12:30 signings they make it possible for office workers to hear an author read on their lunch breaks. Thing is, I personally don’t know anyone who works in the financial district and most people have jobs that make it impossible for them to be far away from their offices in the middle of a Friday afternoon. So the attendance will be completely dependant on whether or not my book appeals to Alexander's very specific demographic. All this is my way of saying, if you can come, do! Here’s their info:

When people talk about stay-at-home moms these days it’s usually in the context of an emotionally charged debate about the roles of women in today’s society. It’s like people can’t just accept the fact that staying at home is a valid choice with advantages and disadvantages just like every other life decision women make for themselves. And like all lifestyle choices, it’s not for everyone and that’s okay too. This doesn’t need to be controversial. Despite the purposely contentious message of certain books that have garnered the media’s attention, mothers who stay home are not undermining the feminist movement and the mothers who do work are not destroying the moral fabric of our society.

That’s why I find fellow GCC member, Alana Morales’ book Domestically Challenged: A Working Mom's Survival Guide to Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom so refreshing. To be honest, I’m always a little nervous when a GCC member comes out with a book because I’m afraid I won’t like it. Of course no one’s asking me to recommend their books to you. As I’ve said before, all I have to do is tell you they exist. Still, I’d like to be able to pimp them in good conscious. I can definitely do that with this book. It doesn’t attempt to tell you that you’re evil if you’re unwilling to give up your job for the sake of your kids. Nor does it wax poetic about how beautiful and spiritually fulfilling it is to be with your kids all day long. In fact it was her aversion to those books that inspired Morales to write her book to begin with. In an interview she said:

“When I was looking for books about being an at home mom, I found a lot that were either religious or talked about my spiritual journey through motherhood. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and my kids and I were still in our pajamas. I needed to know how to manage running the house full time, not a spiritual pep talk.”

The reality is that going from being a career woman to being a full time mother is a huge adjustment. You have to budget your time differently, prioritize differently and in the most general terms, reorganize your life. I’m not saying that one lifestyle is harder than the other, I’ve tried both and know for a fact that both are equally challenging; they’re just very different.

Morales gets this. When asked what she wants moms to get out of her book she said:

I want them to find ways to make their lives as an at home mom easier. I want the book to act as a model of support for moms who are new to being at home and are having trouble adjusting. I want them to know that they aren’t alone in what they are experiencing and feeling.

Anyway I strongly recommend that you check out her book and definitely check out her website. In addition to writing books Morales also has her own parenting humor column and I have never managed to read her blog without giggling.

My older son attends first grade at one of those New York City, Upper East Side, very exclusive, very posh private schools that prompt novels like Admissions and The Ivy Chronicles, and people outside of Manhattan to go, “Oh, isn’t that the school from “The Nanny Diaries?” (Yes, for the record, it is the school the boy from “The Nanny Diaries” gets admitted to. Also, for the record, in our two years there, I have yet to meet anyone who even comes close to the skewering parental descriptions in the book.)

Last week was Grandparents Visiting Day. My African-American father-in-law attended for the first time.

My father-in-law grew up in Virginia under Jim Crow before moving to Harlem in the 1960s. He served in the Korean War, and managed a Brooklyn public hospital for thirty years. He has very strong opinions about Blacks in America, the White power structure and the inequities of the race-based class system.

My father-in-law was shocked by the reception he, as a Black man, received at school.

Nobody cared.

Really.

Manhattan’s elite; the blue-blooded families that boast Senators, Ambassadors, broadcasters, philanthropists, European royalty, Wall Street Masters of the Universe (sorry, a “Bonfire of the Vanities” reference), and assorted other movers and/or shakers weren’t shocked, surprised or offended to discover an interloper in their midst. They were, in fact, rather indifferent.

Not that my son is the only child of color in his class. There are two other Black boys, several Hispanic children, and over a dozen Asians. (Not to mention a few Jews – where will this travesty end!)

Manhattan’s top-tier private schools have a reputation as being exclusively white and snobbishly old moneyed. People like us (Black, Jewish, unmonyed), my husband and I were told by those who didn’t actually attend, wouldn’t feel comfortable there.

But, the fact is, we felt much more comfortable there then we did at any of the “progressive” schools we toured. Where, the minute my husband and I walked through the Open House door, an Admissions Director would make a beeline over to us and proceed to extol the wonderful diversity of their school and how dedicated they are teaching all their subjects in a culturally sensitive manner.

My husband has a nuclear engineering degree from M.I.T. He was not aware that there was a culturally sensitive manner in which to teach arithmetic.

What he was aware of, from his own background of being the only Black child in an all-White class, was that he would rather his son were with people who were too polite to make a fuss about differences, rather than with those who made it the centerpiece of their curriculum.

Hence, my father-in-law’s shock.

But, by the end of the day, even he had gotten into the spirit of things. That evening, he told us a long story about a boy sliding into home plate headfirst, but said he didn’t know the boy’s name and wasn’t sure how to describe him.

When I asked my son whom Grandpa was talking about, I learned that the boy my father-in-law didn’t know how to describe was… another Black child in the class.

Okay, this is Kyra here. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. In the meantime check out Alina's website to learn more about her and her books!

I had a really weird dream last night, so weird that I’m reticent to share it with you because I think it may expose me for being the messed up freak that I am. But the thing is this dream was actually kind of funny and I can’t quite get myself to not share it, so here it goes.

First let me warn you in advance, this was an erotic dream…sort of. My last romantic fling ended in December and I’ve been too busy since then to pursue another. I’m okay with putting my love life on hold for a while but four months is four months so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I had an erotic dream…but this dream was not the stuff porn flicks are made of. I’m not even sure it was about sex…it was just…bizarre.

For one thing it starred Steven Colbert, the political satirist on Comedy Central. I was his assistant and we were at my place interviewing a Supreme Court Justice. The interview was funny, informative, thought provoking…all good stuff. Then the Judge realized that the meal he had earlier in the evening wasn’t agreeing with him and he excused himself to use my bathroom (where he remained for the rest of the dream). Steven and I started talking and I became very aware of his impressive intellect (I’m not using that as a metaphor, it really was his intellect that I was focused on). We talked of science, politics, religion and when he started explaining the intricacies of Tort law with the mastery of a $500/hour lawyer I lost control and we started going at it. So now we’re making out and I’m thinking to myself, “Wait! According to Newsweek Steven’s a devout Catholic! What if he's morally opposed to birth control?!”

But I guess I figured I would cross that bridge when I came to it which I never did because I woke up before any clothing was removed.

Once awake, I lay in bed and mentally reviewed the events my unconscious mind had created and all I could think was, “Where the hell was Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas in this dream?” Couldn’t I at least have had a dream featuring San Francisco's illustrious mayor, Gavin Newsom? At least he’s single, rich and powerful. But nooo, not me. I have to dream about getting it on with a Comedy Central political satirist while a Supreme Court Justice is taking a dump in my bathroom.

That just can’t be normal.

Oh well, maybe Brad and Antonio will come to me tonight. In the meantime I just wanted to remind you that on Friday I’ll be speaking in San Francisco at Alexander Book Co. at 12:30. Hope you can make it!