Don’t Be a Lady Boss

There are two titles that I would like to wipe from the face of the planet. I would like to eradicate them, much the same way we did with smallpox and polio. I want these two phrases to shrivel up and die, just like the two flower pots in my back yard, the contents of which refuse to live for me. I want these titles to wither and start dropping leaves and then shrink down until all that’s left of these titles are two little sticks in a big pot. And when people ask, “Hey, what was in those pots?,” we can say, “It’s not even worth mentioning. They are dead now.”

The titles?

“Lady Boss” and “Girl Boss.”

(I was actually going to limit this to just one of the titles, but as I pondered which irked me more, I simply couldn’t pick. It’s like choosing between being stung by a scorpion or attacked by bees. I just can’t pick which is more awful, so I’m leaving them both in.)

When I look back on how far women have come; the obstacles we have climbed or shoved aside or burned down in our quest to move forward; the sacrifices we have made in our desire to do more and BE more, it tugs at my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I am so proud to be a woman.

And those of us who have created our own companies, we are business owners, strong empowered human beings. We are females, but who cares? We don’t want to be measured by our breasts and ovaries. We have worked hard to empower ourselves. We have stood on the mountain top and declared to the world “I AM!” It’s a thing of tremendous beauty and strength.

So how do we celebrate this quest for equal footing and the demand to be taken seriously?

OMG, guys. It’s totally cute. Are you ready? We call ourselves…wait for it.. “Lady Boss.” Or “Girl Boss.” Because, OMG, guys, we females demand be taken seriously as we Instagram ourselves drinking a Starbucks Frapp while wearing our shirts that have the words “Lady Boss” written in cursive glitter over the picture of a mermaid.

In the name of all that is WOMEN, stop it. Please. I beg of you.

This is my 4-year old self reminding you not to do this.

You are not a “Lady Boss” or a ‘Girl Boss.” You are simply a BOSS. There is no need to qualify it; to point out that you are a female boss. The title actually works against itself, for isn’t that the very thing women hate when other people say that about us: “Oh yeah. THAT business? It’s run by a woman.”

Who freaking cares?

I mean, you don’t see guys doing this:

<begin scene>

“Hey, Steve, whatcha’ got there?”

“Oh, this? <holding up book> I’m really really excited. It’s my Feelings Journal. It’s also a calendar that I get to decorate with doodles using colored markers and pencils and glitter pens. Oh, and stickers. I’m going to keep all my appointments with clients in here.”

“Woah.”

“It’s so cute. Each month I’m gonna Instagram the pages so clients can see my doodles.”

“Dude…”

“Oh, and check out the cool cover. It says, “BOY BOSS.”<end scene>

Sounds stupid, right? That’s ‘cause it is, so don’t do it.

If you are are a female, don’t add a qualifier to being a boss…just BE ONE.
And be great.

We can send a spaceship into space and land it on a moving comet 10 years later, but we can't design a way to lose weight eating a regular diet of peanut butter and chocolate.
Not cool, Science. Not cool. xoxo

Thing to do while @instagram is down: End every conversation by hashtagging outloud what you talked about: "Let's go to @Chipotle and get lunch. Hashtag @Chipotle. Hashtag lunch. Hashtag burrito. Hashtag lunch decisions." xoxo