12 Best (& worst) of ’12

Resolutions are as overrated as the vehicle (see: New Years Eve) that incites them. Has anyone in the history of pacts-made-with-self actually started to use the gym more regularly, or put aside tax money, or vowed to quit drinking (and subsequently drunk texting) for any period that extends beyond, I don’t know, January 6th, insert new year here? If Man Repeller has taught me anything, it is that setting short-term goals, which amount to very small victories is a far more constructive formula than conjuring up the big ass ones that often amount to sweeping disappointment.

Consolidate those aspirations, people. My personal resolution for January 2013 is to defeat my Trichotillomania and stop picking my damn eyebrows–I don’t have co-workers as gracious as Hannah’s to pencil in thicker ones. The residual days of 2012 already suggest I’m on the road to recovery so why don’t you start with something a bit more trivial and let that lend itself to executing the more dynamic resolutions on your check list (mine include tree planting).

Now, l want to re-open the conversation about reflection. Not necessarily to divulge more personal information about my relationships or even beg that you do the same, but there’s something to be said about the nebulous nature of what The Future always holds and in conjunction with that, the endearing tangibility of what’s behind us. 2012 was fascinating at best–if not because female humanity lost its composure over Isabel Marant’s skater sneaker cum absurdly expensive fashion shoe than certainly because we elected a new (old) president!

The year deserves a recap of its profound highs, shameful lows, and though I’m keeping sexual affairs off of this 12 Best of ’12 list, I will not refrain from saying that if 2011 was all about naughty politicians, 2012 belonged to the U.S. Military.

Starting with livestock, I give you the It-Animal of 2012, which are Panda bears. I’ll offer this one to Rob Pruitt, Jimmy Choo and one particular suit of the Au Jour le Jour variety that spawned an entire revolution (consisting at least of myself?) celebrating the amicable endangered species, who could probably use a lesson in black eyeshadow/pencil application.

It-Food: Kale in all its forms. It’s always rather bewildering when foods act like fashion statements and come “in” or go “out” of style but my supposition on kale’s meteoric rise to fame rests in its potent anti-cancer properties and the advent of green juices in place of alcoholic libations. New York is becoming LA and I’m not sure I like it.

Best book: Fifty Shades of Grey. Just kidding, guys. I’m totally kidding. This isn’t April Fools but that shit sold well, which has likely prompted Betty Friedan to roll over in her grave and try as she might, force female humanity to reread The Feminine Mystique. Ultimate deduction: American women are a profoundly horny bunch of women.

Most Aggressive Digital Deal: Facebook buys Instagram for One Billion Dollars, (said in the voice of Dr. Evil.) At the risk of sounding ignorant, I will refrain from saying much other than: you’re welcome from all of us for making you rich, photo sharing app.

Breakthrough Couple of The Year: Kimye. Man friends are the new stylists and it’s in due part thanks to a certain Yeezy. When he and Kim Kardashian finally stopped playing the merry-go-round, her style saw a dramatic departure from Herve Leger to the more Kanye-centric Givenchy, Maison Martin Margiela, heck, she’s even sausaged her legs into Isabel Marant pants. We wait in anticipation while he prepares her full leather get up–kilt et al. But this begs the question, what happens to the nature of Man Repelling if Kim is feeding into it? Does the future hold a bevy of rebellious tight black dresses for us?

Most committed Repeller: Bad Gal Riri–any woman layering fatigue with a Santa hat and emblazoning a marijuana leaf across her ass cheek for the sake of a hash tag, (#thuglife), deserves this spot. Also, she and Chris Brown are still boys, which should really make you wonder, if she can forgive and forget–should we?

Sexual taboo of the year: Incest (see: Boardwalk Empire and the implication of a previous season’s Dexter.) I’ve also got a friend who recently hypothesized that cohabitation is kind of like incest. In most instances, the only men we are innately accustomed to living with are our fathers and brothers–and then we move in with our significant others and over time become as comfortable under the new dwelling circumstances as we were in our more primitive ones. Just like that, she suggests, the comfort blankets our morale and we’re having sex with our brothers. Mull that over, I’m still fuzzy on it.

Worst name of the year: Between the wildly detrimental natural disaster that hit the east coast in October and this month’s heart-wrenching Connecticut shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school–the likelihood of acceptance of a newborn called Stalin vs. one called Sandy in the previous three months is uncannily high.

Child Star: This one is a toss up between Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Blue Ivy, who so inconspicuously came into the world to an entire hospital floor devoted to the well being of her ripe existence and a series of trademarks pending on the nature of her ineffable name, and Honey Boo Boo, who was able to secure herself a Wikipedia page before I could.

Best Television Show(according to a populace comprised of upper/middle class white people only):Homeland. But I don’t watch it (I’m a conspiracy theorist by nature), so I’ll allow you to suggest why.

Most over-saturated occupation: Blogging. Indeed, everyone and their mother started a blog in 2012, bastardizing whatever dreams we may have had of plausibly and proudly dubbing ourselves bloggers. I do believe in matters of the fabricated occupation, “bloggers” are the new “stylists.”

An added bonus to help ring in 2013: The It-Genital of 2012 was indubitably the vagina. And why? Because, well, Lena Dunham has one.

Well I dont think i have anything to add -__- Although while completing my business courses regarding opening a boutique the guy asked me why don’t i start small as a stylist? I told him everybody and their mothers are stylist, especially if they have a blog. He didn’t get how common this was, but i did do well on my presentation!

Nataliaoh.com

Lmao! Evil! ‘Bloggers are the new stylists!’ So true! No shame though! Hey! If I style my boyfriend then I’m a stylist dammit! And if a damn dog on The Disney Channel can have a blog AND a TV show about it, then so should I dammit! 😉

This seriously made me laugh – Great post! I hadn’t really thought about the “in” versus “out” nature of food, ways of eating & drinks before but you’re so right. As a vegan I’m thrilled that kate, coconut water & green juice are “in” though! *happy dance* Oh, and the only thing that makes me wish I lived in a different era more than the fashion & architecture is the fact that I know what Kimye stands for…

Addison

Awesome post, MR! I could never really get into Kale… or Kimye. YOU ARE AMAZING.

Haha blogging really IS the oversaturated occupation!!! Its so fun hos every one claim to be unique with their blog and has created the blog to be different, when in fact they’re only becoming more mainstream.! I’m no exception 😉 haha

These lists make me question everything. Seriously, where is this generation heading at? The Maya’s may have been wrong but I think our world is apocalyptic enough as it is.

Dahlia Jacob

Well said. I agree everyone is blogging these days, and yes majority is all the same stuff. Fashion bla bla bla. Though i have found some unique new blogs that are pretty awesome (aside from urs of course) thats the key-find unique things to blog about that people are bored with, all the fashion blogs show u these skinny (mostly beautiful) women posing with head to toe designer pieces when the normal regular girl could barely afford one of those pieces…hence..http://www.dahliasday.com

Giu Lia

Homeland has a perfectly talented cast. It’s not really about the whole conspiracy thing, which is also implemented preety damn good, but those actors are killing it. So really good.

This is great! I totally agree with all of that. Well, minus the fact that you said that Homeland AND Girls are up there for best television show. I think it was girls, all the way, no contest. But maybe, as a 26 year old woman, I am biased?
P.S. long live Isabel Marant’s sneaker wedges!

I agree with a lot of these! And the whole incest thing….Game of Thrones has that covered. Love the show Girls as Shoshana is probably one of the most relatable characters. The only thing I have in response to Honey Boo Boo is ಠ_ಠ. I will give her a lot of credit though….after all she contributed quite heavily to the gif world. Funny post, Leandra. -Shaina

I really detest the whole Fifty series. Read the first few chapters in book 1 and it’s so poorly written that I couldn’t bother to finish it. honey boo boo is a good laugh after a crappy day at work though. 🙂

definitely been into kale for a couple years now. let’s see…i watched Homeland but wasn’t able to finish the season. It was a very serious drama and at the time definiltey wasn’t in the mood for it..maybe i’ll try finishing it later. with these slow dramas, the last couple episodes are always the best.

“I do believe in matters of the fabricated occupation, “bloggers” are the new “stylists.”

Lol and so true!

2Baron

…”she has even sausaged her legs into Isabel Marant pants”? Do you have any idea how discouraging it is to love what you wear but be reminded about how inaccessible your fashion choices are because you are so thin and you don’t seem to understand that other people aren’t? You are by all means allowed to be whatever size you choose, but don’t make snide remarks about other people who exercise that exact same right. As someone who has not ONCE been a Kim Kardashian advocate, hearing you use the word “sausage” in reference to her legs is offensive and just makes you look like some privileged, body-obsessed socialite. You just lost a reader.

Gigi

Grow up and lose some weight.

2Baron

Oh yeah that’s what this is about. Get a fucking brain.

Camille

congrats. you suck at life.

leslie

hey. don’t fight fire with fire. that is mean and obviously stupid to say. leandra is trying to explain herself. why don’t you start a blog and never piss anyone off or miscommunicate your point to anyone!

Melanie

That reader totally overreacted. I thought the “sausaged her legs in isabel marant pants” was so funny and I think I am soing to use that expression a lot for myself!! I feel like I sausage my legs (and belly) in everything these days! Besides, Isabel Marant’s pants sizing is so difficult; its either too big or too small.

Leandra Medine

Woah, woah, woah, that was a comment on how skinny the jeans are, which I’ve used in conjunction with Isabel Marant pants (and anyone from myself to Karlie Kloss) several times before. So sorry to see you go BUT as someone who has historically combatted weight issues (ages 14-18 were rough,) I would NEVER reprimand someone’s weight.

Romy schick

handled like a lady!

bekanicolee

and the best situation dealer of the year goes to Leandra Medine! bravo! 🙂

Katia

Agreed- this blog was featured on the Telegraph’s 10 Best of 2012 too! Thoroughly disappointed.

Yay, vaginas! I didn’t read 50 Shades – well I read an excerpt on Amazon, laughed my socks off, wondered if I should by it so that I could fully mock it, then decided against it as my better judgement kicked in. AWFUL. I know nothing of this Kale, do we even have it in the UK? We probably do, I mostly wander about with my eyes shut. Rihanna’s a freakin’ idiot. Blogs are like vaginas. They are. I’m hoping that 2013 heavily involves scrunchies and WORLD PEACE. And Great Gatsby not being as rubbish as I fear it will be. Yeah. x

that-bird.blogspot.co.uk

A.

Ahhh! I can’t believe you let Honey Boo Boo join the list! Although, I suppose, you had good reason…

Honey Boo Boo, a face so horrendously plain masking the personality of the most redneck child to walk the earth. Who would’ve thought that Eden Wood could be overshadowed by an entire family of intellectually incompetent pageant goers. Furthermore…both “pageant superstars” have been granted the opportunity to perform in reality television shows. Either the people of today have become much more easily amused or LifestyleYOU is in dire need of material.

I love the comment about Rihanna! I am not the biggest fan of her fashion choices. I think her relationship choices are similar to many of the young women in my generation and the ones that were at the stages in the lives before us.

Steffi Huntingford

a very different round up to mine! thoroughly enjoyed reading that. would recommend giving kale another shot, have fallen in love with using it as a compliment to heartier meal items.

I just love how you think and thank you for sharing these opinions!
You’re talented and your style tastes are perfect! xxxx

Melissa

“Also, she and Chris Brown are still boys, which should really make you wonder, if she can forgive and forget–shouldn’t we?”

That’s disgusting. It awes me that you can even say that with what appears to be a straight face, and you claim that you’re somehow trying to fight for freedom of expression through fashion, but you don’t even know the signs of an abusive relationship? You try to fight an offshoot of patriarchy without thinking about the structure as a whole? Are you deluded, or just stupid?

Kristina Fe

This is pure genius!

But i’ve going to have to disagree.. the walking dead took it for me this year!

Good laugh, per usual. Thanks for all the laughs and great writing in 2012. (for the record, i’m a 2 on a good day and 4 on a bad and DEFINITELY have to sausage my legs into anything Isabel Marant…I think the point is that the brand is designed for skinny Frenchies).

First time posting comment. I am very entertained with this blog….its just so different. The sausage comment was great. And true. Love kale. Homeland is great writing…. and I am Colombian. That ginger and claire danes got me hooked. Keep rockin it with your crazy outfit post.

Jordan

I agree that resolutions need to be small. Mine is to learn how to apply liquid eyeliner. Cray-cray, I know. I am also hoping Kim & Kanye’s baby is born wearing black leather from it’s big head to it’s itty bitty toes. A girl can dream.

Catherine and Greer

Im really shocked to see so much hate on your post… I think all readers know that you are one of the very few fashion faces to be so level-headed hence you would never say something like that with intentions to hurt someone! I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY (IGNORE THE CAPITALS, CAPS LOCK IS NOT AGREEING WITH ME), that (oh there we go!) this is one of your funniest posts this year 😉 #DontlEtTheHaTeRzzBringyAdown #irrelevanthashtagging

I stopped reading DEAD in my tracks when you ask if we should forgive and forget the fact that Chris Brown brutally BEAT HIS GIRLFRIEND ABOUT THE FACE. Congrats, MR, you need to re-read The Feminine Mystique too.

Bloomaglow

Haha. Great post. I just LOVE your writing voice. It’s so creative and funny!

I had to Google what a Honey Boo Boo was… then got stuck reading a blog post championing the mother then a whole load of comments paying the mother out! Wow – theres a whole world out there I didn’t know about!