A Yank In Kiwi Land

An On-Line Magazine Showcasing an Eclectic Mix of Current Events, News, Politics, Satire, Humor, Music, Sports & Entertainment, Motorsports and Aviation Engineering & Technology, Photos, and Random Thoughts From an American (and occasionally from his Kiwi wife) Living in New Zealand

Monday, August 09, 2010

The Most Dense Element

Pelosium: A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Taxes For Dummies (liberals)

If I hear that tired mantra - "Tax cuts for the rich" - one more time, I'm going to probably drop dead from "the big one". If you can't make a fucktard liberal understand tax cuts using this example, just walk away, and save yourself the grief.

The Tax System - Explained In Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day the owner threw them a curve ball.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80."

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free, but what about the other six men, the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33, but if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings)
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before, and the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, proclaiming, "But he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right!" exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too! It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks !"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important: They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill !

And that, boys and girls, journalists, politicians both corrupt and straight (OK...not many straight, but it's for them all), moaners, gloom and doom merchants, political activists with their heads up their asses, and college professors - this is how the tax system works:

The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction...It's simple, basic Math.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier - an event that would have a devastating impact on every other sector of the economy.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Fuck The Greens

I hate Greenpeace and just about anything or anybody who touts being/going "green". I mean I reeeeaaaally hate them; so much so that I can't say what I would actually like to see happen to every one of those fucking scumbags.

LONDON—Environmental group Greenpeace shut down the fuel supplies to dozens of BP PLC petrol stations in London, in a protest timed to BP's quarterly report Tuesday, in which it announced a massive loss and named a new chief executive.

On Tuesday, around 75 activists simultaneously took over about 46 stations across London in the early hours of the morning, according to John Sauven, executive director of Greenpeace U.K. The activists immediately removed the pump switches from the site to disable the petrol pumps and prevent the stations from serving fuel to customers, Mr. Sauven said.

Lets' see...75 "activists"...46 stations...that's not even 2 of these jerk-off cocksuckers per station. How did the station managers just sit by and let this happen? I'll tell you what - had I been there pumping fuel when they came to pull this shit off, well, let's just say that would have been one station that would still have its fuel switches in place.

So, where were the cops? Oh, that's right, it's the UK, where there are still plenty of good people, but where the authorities have no balls. Why were there no arrests? This goes beyond "peaceful protest." It's destruction of private property at the very least. These neo-hippy fucks get away with this shit over and over and over, and it pisses me off that they are allowed to do so. Did I mention that I hate greenies?

"It is all very well changing Tony [Hayward]...but changing a CEO doesn't change the situation at the company. In fact, [Mr. Hayward] took the company backwards into the deep waters of Mexico," said Mr. Sauven.

This fuck is either ignorant or disingenuous. It was the US EPA banning off-shore drilling in shallower waters, in a misguided attempt to protect the environment, that forced drilling in deeper waters.

These commie rat bastards need their heads caved in with billy clubs and baseball bats (or cricket bats - it's the UK, after all). At the VERY least these enviro-douchebags should be made to pay each station for lost revenues, sign replacements, and serve a minimum of 90 days in jail.

Of Lambs And Lions

Sure, the liberal progressives are dogged ideologues and tenacious poodles when it comes to nationalizing our production; healthcare, financial sector, energy sector, and automobile industry. They stand strong against the rule of law regarding illegal immigration. And there is no doubt no group will fight harder to redistribute wealth and turn America into a collective "balkanized" socialist Country.

However, what scares the liberals more than anything else is the "Warrior Class". They abhor the men and women who find a commitment and conviction in believing in this Constitutional Republic and the principles which make America exceptional. This is a sentiment which over the past 30 days we witnessed being manifested from the highest office in our land, the President.
{snip}
It starts with a national security strategy which refuses to address the enemy of our Nation, islamic totalitarianism and radical islamic state sponsored terrorism. We have sheep who are so oblivious to the threats to our security that the Obama administation's terrorism expert, John Brennan, stated that "terrorism is a state of mind and jihadism is a legitimate tenet of Islam". When at the highest levels we project a recalcitrance to confront our enemy, you only embolden them.
{snip}
We have created rules of engagement in Afghanistan which allows the enemy every opportunity to kill our men and women. We have considered such horrible ideas such as an award for "courageous restraint". We even allow former Taliban members who have attacked, and maybe even killed, our troops to be released from detainment based upon a "pledge" signed by their fathers and tribal leaders.
{snip}
We have a running gun battle occuring on our southern border but we allowed a foreign leader to demean our laws and attack a Governor of a sovereign American State.

There has never been a more critical time for our Republic and yet we find the worse possible individuals in control for this time. We have a Nation of men and women who embrace victory and detest the stench of defeat. However, all we get is more speeches, talk, empty rhetoric, and never an action plan....at least not an action plan which is commensurate with the foundational principles of America.
{snip}
America will not survive as a Nation in a world of wolves being led by sheep, it will take Lions.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Happy 4th of July

I can't get all hyped-up about my nation's birthday party, not these days. What's to celebrate? This commie fuckwit wannabe dictator, Obama, who calls himself president, is fast dragging us down the road to marxist serfdom.

The US has survived worse, I think. I just wonder whether or not we have the will to survive this.

Regardless, I love my country for what it is supposed to be, not because of what we have allowed it to become.

My hope is that we awaken from our post-modern stupor before it's too late.

Here, enjoy some fireworks from last year in my hometown of San Diego, CA.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Funnies

Carlos Mencia - "Not For The Easily Offended"

I get it. Carlos gets it: You have a right to say what you want to say, and, guess what? - I DO TOO. Fuck you, you oh-so-easily-offended, politically correct types who would silence all speech that may hurt your wittle feeeewings.

Get a life, and get over yourselves. The rest of you, please enjoy the entire set of "Not For The Easily Offended" in 7 parts.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Economics Made Easy

It is amazing to me how some comedians can cut through all the bullshit and explain things in a few minutes, as opposed to the talking heads on your favorite infotainment/news channel(s) blathering and bloviating on and on ad nauseum.

Here we have the trans-Tasman comedy duo of New Zealander John Clarke (the bald guy, aka "Fred Dagg") and Australian Bryan Dawe explaining a couple of our current economic issues, breaking it all down with some dry humor and wit from down under.

For A Laugh

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Listen and Enjoy

Since my heart attack nearly two months ago, I've taken stock in what is important and what isn't. I think I've mellowed a lot since then, and I certainly feel a bit more fragile and aware of my own mortality.

I have been a big James Taylor fan since I was a kid in the 1970s listening to my Mom's records. This is a beautiful song, a live rendition of "The Secret O' Life" from his double live CD from 1993.

The song says a lot to me, and I share it with you hoping that you will find some wisdom in it, as well.

Marxism, New Zealand Style

As you may or may not be aware, New Zealand is to host the Rugby World Cup next year, and the food and service workers' union, Unite, is going to use the event as a political football, pun intended. I have heard their president, Matt McCarten, on the radio quite often, and he is an unabashed, dyed-in-the-wool leftist, obviously.

Union threatens action during Rugby World Cup

Unite union is threatening industrial action to coincide with next year's Rugby World Cup.

The union's general secretary. Matt McCarten, said the union is planning "a big push" on behalf of its members in hotels, SkyCity Casino and other entertainment venues.

Interviewed for TV3's The Nation, he said current employment agreements had been "lined up" so they were due for renegotiation at about the time of the World Cup.

"We don't want to wreck the World Cup, of course not. But we certainly are going to be lining up the employers at that time and saying: 'Well, you're going to make a lot of money, what's going to be the workers' share?'."

Mr McCarten said he expected employers to be "more focused" ahead of the World Cup.

Unite hoped to be able to convince the public that it would be unfair for foreign-owned hotel chains to charge between $1000 and $2000 per night while continuing to pay workers the minimum or minimal wages.

The union said it would be unacceptable for people to work for less than $15 per hour, and in addition it wanted 10 percent of higher room rates to go into a special fund to be shared amongst workers.
Mr McCarten said millions of dollars of taxpayers' money would contribute to the World Cup's success, and it would be wrong for all profits to go offshore.

Now, those of you in the US need to know that the minimum wage in NZ is already $12.75 per hour, and that is still not enough to get a good number of people off their ass to get a job because in many cases one can get more money by being on a welfare benefit.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need, indeed.

A War on Terror? Really?

I see the "war on terrorism" as a nebulous concept, much like the "war on drugs" or the "war on poverty." It really accomplishes nothing, but it makes us feel better if we declare "war" on something. I am not saying that there is not a real threat, but think about it. The way in which we are conducting this "war" is pretty lame.

What is the end-game? Does anybody think that - like drugs or poverty - terrorism will ever completely go away? There are muslims - over 1 billion of them - in just about every country in the world. Assuming that we killed each and every one of them, do you really think that will be the end of it? There will always be somebody to take their place; nature abhors a vacuum.

So, if we want to minimize the threat and impact of terrorist activities, there are much better and more efficient ways to do it. Iraq was and is a joke. Give it another ten to twenty years and it will return to being another tribal shithole in need of another strong-arm dictator like Saddam to keep them all in check, and we will have wasted over a trillion dollars and a few thousand lives of our military brothers and sisters for, well, nothing. Yeah, sure, Iraq was a minor logistical player in the overall scheme of things, but if we want to nullify the financial support for terrorist activities - cut off the head of the snake, so to speak - given by various nations we would be much better off going after Saudi Arabia, the UAE, and maybe a few others. But we don't and won't - and I think we all know why - so we're not really that serious.

And Afghanistan, please. OK, we went there originally to try to get Osama. Personally, I think he may be long since dead, but announcing that to the world would would not give us much of a leg to stand on in remaining there. As long as the illusion of him still being the grand mastermind is perpetuated, we grant ourselves license to stay as long as we feel is necessary. But why are we still there? Afghanistan is barely out of the stone age. They cannot directly, as a nation, export much of anything. So, what is the real threat from that country?

OPIUM.

The Taliban are nothing more than medieval overlords, draconian drug peddlers of poppy production. The money generated from opium poppy production is used to fund training and deployment of terrorist activity around the world, so why are we not targeting poppy fields and spraying them with napalm on a daily basis?