I hadn’t driven it for a while and when I tried to get it started last time it would not start because the battery was gone.

I put a fresh battery in it this is what happens as soon as I turn the ignition:- the electrical current seems to go everywhere but not the starter,- headlights and indicators turn on and off uncontrollably,- door locks close and open non-stop, - dashboard backlight goes on and off, - radio does the same,- the starter turns the engine in small pathetic bursts.Once the ignition key is on off everything stops.