I’m a Genie in a Bottle, Let ME OUT!

I miss talking, I miss letting out all my worries and just blabbering it to my closest friends. Lately I feel as if I am bottling up all my emotions and its getting harder to just talk about anything that is wrong. I seem to have also developed a filter in me that doesn’t allow me to show any weakness or talk about anything really, do you guys experience it?

It’s like if there is something really bad happening I would rather bottle up so I don’t hear some unwarranted advice or something that hurts because I alone have the entire facts of the story. For example, I am not at all happy where I am at in my work life, going into the government sector was an insanely bad decision but helpful to learn from, I don’t regret that part. But I don’t feel comfortable with some comments that say: Use the time to start a small business, study, or stick it out. I feel as if I am dying creatively and the only way I can think of amending that would be by getting on my blog or instagram and just letting it out. Some might suggest I should turn my blog into a business, that would be smart but I am doing this out of love for the thing it’s a hobby I feel if I were to turn it into a work discipline thing then I will immediately start to hate it and feel confined.

Sometimes I feel that my brain is sabotaging me, I freak out and get anxious on the littlest things. Especially things that I know quite well myself I just feel as if I am underqualified when most times I might have more to offer than others. It’s a psychological thing for me and always has been. It’s exactly like how when I work out and diet for a few months lose some weight and someone comes up to me and says “Oh wow you lost weight, looking good!” I take that as a cue to start eating junky again and I gain what I lost and more. I have no idea why I do it, I just do.

About the author

I am a Kuwaiti Apple and gadget girl freak, who gets bored of her blog layouts so much that I change them like I crazy. Currently I work in a newspaper and if you don't see me around I'm being sucked into my job reviewing TV Shows and APPS! This is my space where I vent and release everything, welcome to it.

3 Comments

as an old fan and i got the same problem as yours, you have 3 options:
1. live with it ( تعودي )
2. travel and do some adventures ( hiking…..etc ) for once.
3. Fu*&^ the system and don’t listen to anybody ( get beats headsets :P)

Totally get it. I feel that way a lot. And sometimes I don’t even feel like blogging as an outlet.
Sometimes is like being sad and not even knowing why. And I also feel like I can offer more but I am my own worst enemy and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. (so annoying)

I wish I could tell you something you can do but all I can come up with is..let me know if you find the solution, I need it too.

If I may suggest a few options to just think about:
1. You need a close friend that is a listener
2. You need to love yourself enough so when you feel good an lose the weight you keep going regardless of what anyone says.
3. You know what your passion is go for it. Yes K-town kills all your dreams, but thats for us oldies to say, as for you guys that are still young and have it in you, make that change. Give it a shot, but never let yourself go down.
4. Fight the urge to allow negativity into your life, wake up with positive thoughts and stay that way .. it takes practice.