Truthfully? I’ve been struggling a bit and I’m angry at myself about it.

Fighting fear, depression, illness, anxiety and even falling prey far too often to the sweet beckoning of baked goods. This is not good, not the empowering, fresh chapters I was expecting.

Somewhere in the secret places of my heart I knew God was with me. It just felt like He was utterly ashamed and disappointed at how I was handling life at the moment. Where was my faith? My trust?

In a box in the corner of my heart, broken.

Prayers? Often times my tears were my only prayers.

One day, I imagined me at the end of my life. Standing at the pearly gates, pretty sure Peter is starring at me with utter pity. Ashamed, I whisper,

I tried my best but just couldn’t get it all together like I was supposed to.

Assumed the gates open because they feel sorry for me. Jesus approaches me.

No “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Only a bear hug from Him as He whispers,

Your desire to try is simply enough. My love covers the rest.

I fall into a heaping, sobbing, grateful, glorious mess at my Creator's feet. He falls down beside me and holds me until I can find enough composure to breath in His grace once again.

Even as I type this out, tears are streaming down my cheeks. I don’t know about you, but I’m really hard on myself. I look at all my flaws, shortcomings, addictions, failures and fears far more than I look to the very One who created me and calls me His own.

I get tangled in a mental web that I have to do everything in my own power and strength. I don’t! You don’t! It’s a lie. We simply have to rely on God's strength in and through us.

So the next time you start looking at your life and feel like a failure remember whose you are.

YOU ARE HIS BELOVED, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

Empowerment is defined as: To make someone stronger and confident.

It’s HE that empowers us, never the other way around. EVER.

To God Be the Glory.

Take Out:

Go to a local thrift store, dollar store or any place you can find a mirror at a reasonable price. Make sure to pick up a sharpie or even a bright color of lipstick too (use sharpie and or lipstick to write on the mirror).

Once home take the mirror and write these words onto the mirror:

LOVED.

FORGIVEN.

ACCEPTED.

BEAUTIFUL.

Then hang it up where you will see it every day. (I’ve done this too. I’ve hung it up inside of my closet. This way I will see it when I go to select my clothes for the day.)

Make sure to hang the mirror at face level.

This way, when you look into the mirror you will not only see your reflection, but WRITTEN reminders over your reflection of who you TRULY are. WORDS THAT GOD USES TO BRAG TO THE ANGELS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!! (Despite what our emotions/life/circumstances/enemy of our soul may try and tell us.)

Dessert:

Dear Jesus, Sometimes I forget who I am. I forget what you have done for me and how much You love me. Sometimes I allow fear to creep in and talk too much. Please forgive me. Sometimes I get tired and angry in this life. This brings out the worst version of me. Please forgive me.

Remind me who I am in You. Remind me of Your promises and Your unconditional love for me. Remind me that it is okay to surrender my weakness to You. Remind me that You can handle the good, bad and ugly sides of my heart. Remind me that You have a plan and a purpose for me. Remind me that all I need to do is walk with You step by step, trusting You know the way, especially when it seems darkest.

Thank You for loving me through my brokenness as You make me completely new in You. I Love You. Amen.

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