Thank you for joining me on this journey. It's never been easy, and I don't ever expect it to be. There may be times when you don't agree with me, and that's OK. Never be afraid to share your feelings with me, that's what I'm here for and what has kept me going. I'm not a licensed professional, but I have more than 20 years experience with mental illness.
You can find our podcast, Voices for Change 2.0 at
www.blogtalkradio.com/leftofstr8

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Changes

My life has undergone many changes since I started this blog
in 2013. Some of them have been devastating and made me feel like
throwing in the towel. Others have been wonderful,
positive additions to my life that I continue to be grateful for. Either way, I know that I am growing as a
person. I can see the difference in myself, and I know that others around me
can as well.

If you're new to this blog, know that
there were posts before this. However, with help from my husband, the
readers, and an amazing publisher I’m turning
those chapters of my life into a book.

It will be out soon, so keep watching.
If you have been reading my blog all along, I would first like to sayTHANK YOU. You have no
idea the impact that you have had on my life. Whether you commented or
not, you have made me feel like I can face this disease head on while
continuing to help others.

When I look back on the last few months, I
can say that I've been doing pretty well. Most of my episodes of
depression have been relatively brief,
and the good days outweigh the bad. I've noticed lately, however, that I have fallen back into
the routine of not being able to fall asleep until very late at night, and
feeling horrible when I finally wake up the next day. If you add to that
concern for my aging father, my own physical ailments, and the terrifying experience of having one of
our cats get sick, I'm feeling rather down.

I have a lot of pressure on my shoulders
right now. Truthfully, it isn't anything that I normally wouldn't be able
to handle, but I've got a few things stacked up
against me; lack of sleep being number one. Anyone that deals with
Bipolar disorder on a regular basis knows that it often feels like you're
walking across an unstable bridge that is swinging back and forth while you're
trying to steady your pace.

Something else I've noticed that I didn’t entirely expect is an overwhelming
sense of sadness reading through my previous posts. Don't get me wrong,
writing about all of my struggles has helped me immensely, but it has also made
me have to relive them on a fairly regular basis. At times, it's causing
nightmares and flashbacks. However this makes me feel, I plan on accepting that
this is all just a part of the process and will pass. I can't let
something like that keep me from my goals. I have spent far too much of
my life wishing that things could be different. I finally have a chance at a
dream I've had for decades, and I'm moving full steam ahead.

Now that I am finally free to tell the
world that I am an Author, I plan on shouting it from the rooftops.
Shortly, I will be a Published Author. Now is the time for me to
try to focus on all of the positivity that could come from the changes I have made, and try desperately not to let myself
get in the way.

About Me

I have been happily married to the man of my dreams for 15 years. We have 5 cats that we adore, and a little house that we are renovating. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at 19. It has been a constant struggle in my life, and has caused a great deal of turmoil.

Despite my illness, my husband has stayed by my side and I have learned to grow from my challenges. I am now a published author and my book is available on Amazon!