Monday, January 31, 2011

I am so SURE the move to the desert is the right thing to do....
then week after week
I attend NewSong Community Church
and I question it.
It's not a deep feeling of "this is where I belong"
but more of a "what if?"

Sometimes it feels like my life is a series of calculated risks....

mostly in relation to how hurt I will get when it is time to move again.

and what if we move in April and this *is* where we are supposed to be?

How will we know... for certain?

I suppose I am waiting on my husband's homecoming for final decisions.
but just this week the conversation went someting like this...

Kiah " I can't wait to move to the desert when daddy get's home"
me "um, Ki... you DO understand Daddy will not be moving to the desert with us for at least another year"
at this point Kiah is almost crying
me "he'll be home on the weekends though"
Kiah "maybe we shouldnt move, I dont want to be without daddy again"

for me it was heartbreaking.

I am trusting that The Lord will CLEARLY mark which path HE wants for us.

please keep us in prayer
especially as we sort through this muddle of emotions

because at the same time, my kids long to be back in the desert...
although I will miss life here in oceanside something fierce...
I cry every time I leave there...
for some reason my heart is tied to that place...

Making bread is a science. It has a protein called gluten that makes the dough elastic. kneading is important because it causes 2 proteins in flour (gliadin and glutenin) to join together and form gluten. gluten is useful because the elasticity of the dough will expand because the yeast forms tiny bubbles of carbon dioxide gas. you should end up with a light loaf of bread rather than a rock hard lump!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

For the last two years we have driven to the desert for the first of the year, and as a friend graciously opened her home to our crazy little crew, little did I know what kind of changes would be taking place in my life...

I must have been asked a dozen times this week, if I am leaving this sunny beachy paradise ON PURPOSE to return to the desert.

Truth is I LOVE it here.
I do.
I love the ocean breezes.
the smell of the air.
the ambience of the wharf.
the convience of city life.
the relatively short distance to everything.
the fact that there are so many educational opportunities.
the beach.
the sunsets.

BUT

every.single.time. I drive to the desert I just feel like I am going home.
I mostly love the people there.
the people that became our friends and family.
I love the simpleness.
the smell of a creosote bush just before it rains.
the sounds of coyotes.
the quial running across the highway.
I love the joshua trees, each one different and unique... a piece of God's amazing masterpiece.
I love the horses and the lifestyle, even if it is harder.
I love the golden pink sunsets.
but mostly I miss my desert friends.

It was where we fit. like that puzzlepiece that just is part of the puzzle.
I cry every time I leave.
and I dont cry.
but I do when I leave the desert.

so.
it appears God is a God of second chances
(which I know but often need a reminder)
and we are being presented with an opportunity to buy a micro ranch on 1.25 acres out there again.
and we are excited.
in fact I have already started packing!

Once my guy gets back from the sandy spot, the kids and I will move back up there and he will come home on weekends. there will be a lot of moving parts... but it is doable. and I am quite excited.

I will miss the ocean.
a lot.
but having my dear friends (who are really more like family) will be more than worth it!