Contributors

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Gimme Time

The tree story will have to wait one more day, as I redo Rocket Fever Headquarters' wireless network. In the meantime:

1. I saw the biggest damn 'possum I've ever seen in my life the other night. It was just standing there on a berm on Ambrose, headed toward the house's front lawn. A woman was walking toward it from the opposite direction, so it felt a bit trapped. Why it stared directly at me for 10 seconds is beyond me, but I'll never forget being targeted by those huge, black eyes. The stand-off ended when a car drove by, spooking it into running into the yard. Seeing it run was the topper. Not only was it fast but, to put it in Los Feliz terms, the thing was bigger than Buckley. I do believe those suckers are going to take over the planet someday.

2. I now have just about all my stuff from Michigan. I'll turn in my version of Proust when things are finally in order. Suffice to say now that I'm very happy with all my music and books and baseball cards and such. It's Craig Time!

3. Dad Gaines gets here in a week and a half. Let the planning commence.

4. Y'know, what's our obsession with bags? It's like, "Oh, I have all this stuff and I have to carry it somewhere. Guess I'll put it in a bag." Listen, friends, evolution has blessed humans with the most sophisticated tool on the planet: hands. Genius robot scientists from Mars still haven't been able to make a synthetic hand that has the dexterity and intelligence that our organic ones do. Look at how we treat our hands: cutting them off for shoplifting, tattooing them, adorning the nails with silly colors. There is a worldwide lack of respect for hands, and I say it stops now! Put these wonders of nature to full use! Next time you're at the store buying nothing more than shampoo and butter, tell the cashier, "No thanks, I don't need a bag. I'll just use my hands."