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This is my first "blog post," so go easy on me. Can you see my fingers trembling as I type? Yes, I am a bit nervous. And yes, this is Tonggu Momma Husband (TMH), perhaps better known as Tonggu Daddy. Anyway, where was I?

So... you must be asking... why is TMH posting today? Where is Tonggu Momma? Did you read the title of the post? You guessed it - she's doing laundry. So why is TM doing laundry while I am writing a blog post? And why am I even talking about laundry? (Because doing laundry is about as exciting as... I'll skip the dull analogy and you can insert a typical insensitive husband remark.)

Let me explain...

We recently went out for a date night to attend a local dinner with our FCC group to hear an author/researcher talk about international adoption, etc., etc.. If you read here often then you already know this story. What you didn't hear about is how that evening got started. There is a reason that TM is unwilling to tell this story and why I've hijacked the blog to tell it instead.

We had to leave by 5:15 PM sharp. No, we couldn't arrive fashionably late. Why? Because the speaker had a presentation to give and I am the ever preparedenginerd. Yes, I own an LCD projector. (If you don't know what that is, may I suggest Wikipedia?) I volunteered to bring said projector so that the speaker could present his very informative presentation. And that is why we couldn't be late.

We arrived home in a rush around 4 PM, just sixty minutes before "the teenager" would arrive to watch the Tongginator and help her finish an early dinner, play some games, brush teeth and get her to bed. Our plan was to bathe the Tongginator first, then get her into pajamas before dinner so that "the teenager" could focus on just a few important tasks instead of many important tasks.

Only the Tongginator didn't want to bathe early, and she didn't understand "why am I wearing pajamas before dinner?" and "why is dinner so early?" and "why are you and Momma getting ready to leave?" It was rapid fire question after question. And, when she didn't like an answer, she was like a freight train slamming on it's brakes. I found it next to impossible to get her restarted and focusing on the few tasks we needed to get done, with no time to spare.

I should say that "the teenager" is one that we have known for many years, since before he began Jr. High. TM and the teenager's mom worked together teaching for many years. We've watched him grow up from a punk kid to strapping young boy man. He's been working as a class assistant at his mom's school for a number of years and is now in college. He's one of the most trustworthy people we know, which is rare for many of today's young people. He's been into our home more times than we can count, mostly for Bible studies and other events we used to host for teenager groups through our church, but also to watch the Tongginator on the rare occasions that we do go out. The Tongginator adores him: he is her rock star... I am, too, but I'm the everyday rock star. "The teenager" is her Elvis Presley, her Sting, her Jonas Brother.

While I'm struggling to focus the Tongginator, TM is getting ready... you know: shower, makeup, hair, clothes, etc. The Tongginator and I finally head downstairs to get an early dinner together for her. Fruit, check. Veggie, check. Protein, check. Pasta, check. She starts eating and finally, it's my turn to get ready. 4:45 ... 10 minutes to go.

Now some may not know this, but I was once a sailor in the US Navy... so, yes, it is possible to shave, shower, dress and actually be clean and presentable in 10 minutes time. The Navy taught me that; plus, it's good for the water bill. So I'm enjoying my relaxing shower and what do I hear from downstairs ... "AAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"

I hollered downstairs, but no one answered. I yelled to see if everyone was OK and I heard the Tongginator crying. I asked her to come up and tell me what happened and she said through her tears that "the teenager" was here.

"Well why don't you go down and play with him?" I asked. "OK," she said, then trotted downstairs. While I finished getting ready, I realized that TM was nowhere to be found and it was now 5:05 and we had to go. Then I heard TM laughing with "the teenager" using a strange sort of laugh... like the laugh of nervous doctors who are trying to pretend that they've done this procedure hundreds of times, but then you remember you're in a teaching hospital and perhaps they've only done this once or twice before... and the patient died. That sort of laugh. The sort that makes everyone uncomfortable when they hear it.

I'm now all fresh and dressed and feeling like a million bucks taking my HOT wife on an actual date night, sans the Tongginator. I trot down the stairs to the living room and there's TM... flustered... saying "Let's just go. Let's just go. Let's just go." I'm thinking, "What the heck?!?" I've not even said hello to "the teenager" to make sure he's down with the agenda, the logistics, you know: all of that parenting stuff one must pass along to the sitter when going on a date night?

"I already covered it all with him," she said. " LET'S JUST GO!"

So we hop in the car and go, as directed. We are just two minutes into our 45 minute drive to the restaurant before I ask, "So are you gonna tell me what's going on or what?" Long pause... like pausing the DVR so that you can do something else for 20 minutes in order to cushion the next 30 minutes of Survivor Gabon by skipping 25 minutes of commercials... that kind of long pause.

TONGGU MOMMA: I didn't have any clean clothes in the closet. I had to run down to the laundry room to see what was clean in the dryer ... and he totally SAW ME NAKED!!!!ME: Who saw you naked?

TONGGU MOMMA: The teenager! The teenager saw me naked when I got done in the shower and couldn't find any clean clothes to wear!

Another. Long. Pause.ME: He saw you naked!? (pretending that I misunderstood ... yes, you all can assume that question flew like the Hindenburg)

TONGGU MOMMA: I was in my underwear and he arrived early! I didn't hear him come in and I was running through the house down to the laundry. He arrived early and I didn't hear him. I'm so embarrassed. Why did he arrive early? I didn't hear him come in!

ME: So he didn't see you NAKED, he saw you in your bra and panties? (hoping to soften the pain of the situation ... and yes, you can all assume that question crashed like a Von Braun test rocket)

TONGGU MOMMA: I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN NAKED! I didn't hear him come in. He arrived early; I didn't have any clean clothes and I'm so embarrassed. I had to run down to the laundry!

ME: You said that already (now feeling a bit like I'm in a Dilbert cartoon... and yes, you can all assume that comment sailed like the Titanic)

Another. Long. Pause.

ME: Well, you look nice.

No response.

So what followed was a rough 40 minute drive to the restaurant followed by a few ice breaker small talk conversations followed by dinner followed by the wonderful speaker and soon the Naked Event was losing it's grip on TM's inability to enjoy the evening out.

I must take credit for doing one thing right. Not once during the entire evening did I mention the laundry situation. Nor have I since the event. I will never go there... never. Because, you see, TM has a new found sense of urgency to try and keep up with the laundry. Humiliation is such a strange motivator, isn't it?

Who says laundry isn't fun?

See you... TMH.

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comments:

HEE HEE, ha ha, giggle giggle, i can't stop laughing!!!!!its 8 am herein the UK, had a feeling i needed to popin ; ) tears are now rolling down my face, and since now i do have a mental picture of TM, it makes this story even more precious!!!!!

Oh my, you go girl!!!! get that laundry all done,before you venture on your next date : )

... I'm sure you look great in your undies! Just for interest sake were you wearing matching bras and undies?!! My husband thought all women wear matching underwear - he didn't know you could get undies separate. He watches too much tv!

TM must have been a pretty shade of red that evening...the poor thing..

I am hysterical...this is priceless...TM, I think I remember you talking about laundry in another post and I told you that I do the same thing....Trust me, after readig this one, I will no longer be making those mad dashes to search through the clean piles of laundry.....unless the doors are locked:)

I feel I must add ... TM knew this was a funny story ... she knows how humiliating it still feels and thus, recruited me to write the story since she knew it had to be told, but could not bring herself to do it. I must say, I have a new found respect for people who write for a living ... whew ... now, back to the bits and bytes.

Ohhhhhh.. TongguMamma. I just want to run to you and give you a big ol' hug!!! No big deal. REally. But I would have been mortified. But seriously, You can see more than that on the cover of the mags in the check-out isle. But still.. I would never be able to show my face again. But You. You are a stronger woman than I . So you will Persevere!

Besides, according to TongguMommaHusband, You are HOT. So it ain't all bad.

Girl.. I am sorry to laugh. I feel badly about it. really, I do. Bright side: I am willing to BET you will never be short a babysitter. You clever Dog!

Dear TM and TD, This is BY FAR the funniest thing I have read in a long, long, long time. I think EVERY woman can relate to the imagined horror of being caught in your "underpairs"...God love ya, girl. Thank you so much for sharing it! I laughed and laughed and it takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud when I am reading. I actually laughed so hard my belly hurt, and that's the most wonderful kind of laughter, if you ask me. Good for you, TM. Keep those stories comin'.

OK, TM. Just a few posts ago I said that I laugh WITH you, not AT you. Well, I'm sorry, but I have to now retract that statement. I realize it's easy for me to sit here hundreds of miles away and laugh hysterically at your embarrassing "situation." Thanks so much TMH and TM for the big laugh today!!! You rock!!

TMH, I knew as soon as you said you heard the uncomfortable laugh that "the teenager" had seen TM naked. I remember the Closet Exhibitionist post all to well as that is me every day.I would like to say I've learned from TM's experience, but I'm afraid I'll still leave my clothes in the laundry room.

I'm still laughing...TM think of it this way. He is in college, and you were basically in a bikini...Nothing he hasn't seen before:)

LOL That is way too funny.You can't imagine where my couriosity took me after showing up late for this party and reading the above comment with no knoledge of the prior events. LOLGlad there was an explaination!

Oh I feel your pain TM but what is worse is when you hear a splash and a scream in your pool run outside butt naked and only to find you two year old throwing water balloons at the house plus two teenage boys are in the neighbors yard laughintheis heads off!