Dr Gave Advice On Sleep Issues, But I am Torn.

A couple quick facts: Emerson is 6 months old and at the 2 month mark stopped sleeping through the night. We cosleep. She does not have reflux. So here's the situation- She wakes up anywhere between every 45 minutes to every 3 hours (If I am lucky). Sometimes for hours, she will wake every 3 minutes when her paci drops out of her mouth. She sometimes just needs her paci put back in, but usually she wants to eat. So I feed her 5 oz bottles, 3-5 times a night. A few months ago our PED suggested increasing her calories during the day so we did, it did not help. Then she suggested we introduce cereal, we did and it did not help. She suggested have her sleep at an incline, and again we did but it hasnt helped. She had her 6 month checkup yesterday and we brought it up as its really the only issue with have with Emerson. She is a very happy, very easy baby. The doctor said first and foremost we have to get her out of our bed and into her own room so that we dont hear her everytime she makes a noise. She then said I HAVE to stopped jumping at every noise she makes and let her cry, even if its up to 15-20 minutes. She said at this point it has become a habit, and we need to stop it now as it will be much harder the older she gets. She said I can either put up with 10-20 minutes of fussing now, or deal with her crying for entire nights when we try to do it later. She also said I need to stop feeding her, except maybe once, and just let her put herself back to sleep. We have started putting Em in her crib and she always puts herself right to sleep with no problems, but she repeatedly wakes up so by 2am/3am I bring her into my room bc its too much to get up constantly running back and forth in the house. My main probelm- I cant let her cry. I know I sound crazy and overbearing, but her crying gives me anxiety and I have to rush to her aid. I feel so bad for her. I cant imagine letting her cry for 15 minutes. I trust my doctor though, and feel stupid for doubting her as she is clearly educated in this area, so I am torn on what I should do. Any advice from btdt moms? Thanks!

Comments (57)

Your doctor said fussing. I will let my son fuss in his swing. Crying I won't do. He will fuss himself to sleep but I can hear the point where I know he needs me. go with your gut! Doctor aren't always right!!

Yeah I should correct my post bc she did in fact say to let her cry. I just laid her down for a nap, she fell asleep, woke up 20 minutes later and started crying I waited about one whole minute and gave in lol. I dont know what to do.

Drs aren't always right. Our ped is supposed to be very good in our area yet my LO had intense abdominal pain & gas for 3 Months while the ped guessed at different causes & Never got it right! 1 trip to the gastroenterologist & a couple weeks later I had a new baby! The problem? Constipation!! & the Ped Missed that?!!! Needless to say they have lost my vote of confidence!! That said, I can't let my baby cry either. I feel like its extremely mean to let them cry when they have 0 ability to take care of themselves!! I'm reading a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution. ( my lo wakes up just like this theoughout the night & im exhausted!) I'm only a couple of chapters in but so far, it seems like a really good book. I agree w the perspective & it looks like it will offer some real solutions w a little effort from me to figure out which way will work best for my individual baby. It takes a little longer to sleep train this way, but this sounds 10x better than teaching my baby that he might as well give up & not cry at night cuz his Mommy/caregiver isn't going to meet Any need at night ever. I don't understand how people think this technique of neglect is ok. Their poor babies!

My lo had days & nights confused w feedings for a while - going 4 hr stretches during the day, but waking every 2-3 hrs at night to eat. What I did was reverse - feed him more often during the day, and slowly stretch out times between night feedings. I also started reducing the amount of time he ate during the night feedings (I EBF). Soon I started getting him from his crib at 10- right before I go to bed, and filling up his tummy - his only full nighttime meal. It worked!! After maybe a week I cut back to just one other nighttime meal - for half the time of a normal feeding, at 3am. Last night he sttn for the first time!! Went from his 10pm meal til 7:30am! I hope you find something that works for you. We did have some fussing - thankfully not more than a few brief bursts of crying. Soooo worth it. I'm hoping this continues for us!!

Follow your insticints and do what feels right to you. My doctor gave me similar advice and I am choosing to ignore it. At the end of the day your doc is there to make sure lo is healthy and telling you to cio is more of a parenting decision and therfore you make your own choice and do what you want.

You can do what you want, you're her mom... BUT If I were you, and if you want your nights back, you need to listen to the doctor.

Are you a FTM? I can speak from experience. When I was a FTM with DS I could not physically listen to him cry. It made me ill. He was a horrible sleeper and his pediatrician suggested cry it out. I was a miserable human being.... my husband had to keep me out of his room when he'd cry. It was terrible but I can tell you that it works. A lot of people are misinformed about CIO. You don't just leave your baby to scream hysterically. First make sure ALL of her needs are met. Then you can choose to go in at certain incriments of time... 10 mins.. then 12 mins... etc. Just pat her bum, say "shhhh" etc and then leave the room. This did not work with DS, we couldn't go in at all or he'd get more worked up.

Now jump forward to my DD... She's 6 days shy of 6 months. When I was breastfeeding I jumped to every cry as if she was hungry. When we switched to bottles (that take longer to prepare) I started to notice that she'd go from crying hysterically (I thought she was hungry) to putting herself back to sleep before the bottle is finished warming. I continued to feed her once a night thinking she needed it, until one night I was sooooooo tired and I let her cry a little longer than I normally would have and she fell back asleep when she'd normally eat. The next 2 nights she did the same thing... then finally she stopped waking and now sleeps 13 hours at night without a peep.

From my experience, I can tell you that you're doing yourself and your baby a diservice by jumping to every peep. You need to let her learn to soothe herself and put herself BACK to sleep... not just TO sleep at the beginning of the night. At 6 months night waking is HABIT. She is not hungry, even if she downs an entire bottle. Crying will not hurt her, it hurts you a lot more than it hurts her, trust me. Good luck.... and it's time to get your nights back!!!!!!!!