Warm as toast

In this season of weddings, anniversaries, graduations, reunions and assorted
other parties, there's one sure way to distinguish or disgrace yourself. It's
a social skill that can bind hearts and deals, make lovers swoon and parents
cry, sweep a social gathering to its apogee and the participants to their feet.
Trouble is, you have to do it first: give the toast.

Today, toasts are as rare as place-cards. If proposed at all, they often involve
all the forethought of "Down the hatch!" or "Here's to Jack and
Jill!" But it wasn't always this way.

In the 6th century BC, Greek hosts would toast each guest, drinking first from
a common bowl to show that the wine was not poisoned. If the host showed no
signs of oxygen constriction, the guests followed, raising their glasses and
drinking. (Poisoning had become the preferred method of putting paid to outstanding
debts and unpleasant people.)

Other customs such as entwining arms so that guests drink from each other's
glasses and clinking so to spill a little wine into the other's glass also aimed
to detoxify the custom. Clinking glasses was thought to ward off evil, since
demonic creatures were repelled by bell-like noises. All five senses come into
play with the clink, so the drink could be seen, smelled, tasted, touched and
heard.

Years later, clinking reminded guests that though the wine was separated in
many glasses, it came from one source, providing a symbol of unity for those
gathered. Some toasters took the extra step of smashing their glasses after
the toast - the old fireplace toss. Both the wine and the cup were eliminated
as a way of binding the toast and making a gesture of generosity, since glassware
was expensive. (You may regret doing this with your Riedels.)

Gradually it became tradition for the host to lead the toasting, and to toast
the gods: Mercury, Zeus and the Graces. In Homer's epic poem The Odyssey,
Odysseus drinks to the health of Achilles. In addition to standing with a cup
of wine in the right hand, the ritual involved looking up into the sky, then
spilling some wine as an offering of the first thirst-quenching mouthful.

The Roman Senate ordered that the emperor Augustus be honoured with a drink
at every meal. Each Senator also dropped in a piece of burnt bread, to hide
the wine's nasty flavours. The toast's charcoal reduced the perception of the
wine's high acidity - the ancient equivalent of over-oaking flawed wines. When
the communal bowl had gone round, the host ate the toast, and in doing so, drank
the last drops. Toasting, from the Latin tostus meaning roasted or parched,
came to mean the drink.

Not all toasts, however, have their roots in social grace. The Swedish toast
"Skal!" came from the 11th-century practice of drinking mead or ale
from the skulls of defeated enemies. The tamer, modern version is drinking from
a woman's shoe. The Danes cut the throats of the Brits while they drank, which
is why Shakespeare says in his play Timon of Athens: "Great men
should drink with a harness on their throats."

Many toasts were dedicated to enemies, wishing them tight shoes and big blisters,
pigs that didn't grunt, spades that broke and a medical condition that the world's
brightest doctors could debate.

Traditionally, three Anglo-Saxons were required to complete a toast (this isn't
a light-bulb joke): one to pass the cup, one to drink and one to defend the
one drinking, who would be vulnerable while distracted. In fact, toasts required
holding the cup with a straight arm, to show the toaster wasn't hiding a sword
under a cloak, as camaraderie and treachery were often guests at the same table.
Toasts could be used to challenge adversaries: often glasses had to be turned
upside down after the toast to prove they were empty. This wasn't a problem
for the first round; it was the 23rd that caused the trouble.

Toasting was also a way to learn everyone's names and to break the ice. In
fiercely hierarchical societies, toasting put everyone on an equal footing for
the evening. (Though you were still only the second cousin of the duchess in
the morning, albeit one with a magisterial headache.) Inferiors could toast
their betters, but did not use their names - as in "To Monsieur's good
health".

The British started toasting not only friends present, but also those absent,
especially women, who were often precluded from bawdy bar-room eulogies. They
involved standing on the chair with one foot on the table while yelling, "May
the pleasures of the evening bear the reflection of the morning". This
apparently is how women became known as the toast of the town, or in Madame
Pompadour's case, the toast of France.

Such was the popularity of toasting, that not to do so was considered an act
of incivility and drinking on the sly. Many clubs and organisations opened their
meetings with toasts, even those not involving a meal. Outlawed Scottish Jacobites
would drink to their exiled monarch Bonnie Prince Charlie, who had fled across
the English Channel to France in 1746, by passing their glasses over water.
Thus, while outwardly toasting the usurper King George II, they were secretly
drinking to their king across the water.

However, like many customs that have slipped their roots, toasting became vulgar,
associated with the lower classes looking for an excuse to drink. It became
dignified to do it more privately and less often. But when social stigma proved
insufficient to stop the practice, several kings including Charles the Great,
Maximilian, Charles V, and even Louis XIV, known for his extravagance, banned
toasting. Eliminating toasting was also one of the first objectives of the temperance
movement in the 1500s. In the US it was also a casualty of Prohibition, in the
1920s and early '30s.

Today the custom continues, but mostly at formal ceremonies and dinners such
as weddings. There is a traditional order of toasts, starting with the bride,
but many couples include variations to personalise the ceremony.

State dinner toasts have long been opportunities for political messages and
one-upmanship. When Benjamin Franklin was American emissary to France, the British
ambassador led off with a toast to his king: "George III, who, like the
sun in its meridian, spreads lustre throughout and enlightens the world."
Not to be outdone, the French minister said: "To the illustrious Louis
XVI, who, like the moon, sheds his mild and benevolent rays on and influences
the globe." Finally, Franklin rose and responded: "To George Washington,
commander of the American armies, who, like Joshua of old, commanded the sun
and moon to stand still, and both obeyed."

US president Gerald Ford toasted Anwar Sadat in 1975: "To the great people
and the government of Israel - Egypt, excuse me." During dinner at the
Russian embassy, Joseph Stalin made a quick, seemingly witty remark in Russian
after Churchill and Roosevelt had proposed toasts. As the English speakers raised
their glasses, an interpreter stood to translate, "Marshal Stalin says
the men's room is on the right." Years later, former Russian president
Mikhail Gorbachev did his diplomatic best to speak English by blurting out,
"Up your bottoms!"

Of course, we don't need formal occasions to propose a toast. Some of the best-remembered
and deepest-felt are those offered to good friends when we're out on the patio
or sitting around the campfire. My favourite: "May friendship, like wine,
improve as time advances. And may we always have old wine, old friends and young
cares."

Natalie MacLean was recently named Best Drink Journalist at the Jacob's
Creek World Food Media Awards in Adelaide. See more of her work at www.nataliemaclean.com

TOASTING TIPS

1. If you're the host, designate toasters in advance.
2. If you're a guest, don't propose a toast until the host, or those designated
by the host, have had an opportunity to do so, either before the meal or dessert.
If you'd like to propose a toast, ask the host first.
3. Even though it's usually only two or three lines, a toast is a mini-speech
and it helps to prepare, especially if you may be nervous during delivery. Some
people like to memorise a few toasts that are appropriate to several situations,
so they're always ready if the host calls on them.
4. Before standing for the toast, ensure that your glass and all others are filled.
It's also polite to remove your hat, if you're wearing one.
5. Keep your toast short, witty and focused on the person being toasted (it's
not an audition).
6. If you are being toasted, don't stand, raise your glass or drink, but thank
the toasters (a gracious smile or nod will do).
7. Raise your glass with your right hand held straight from the shoulder. Look
at the person being toasted while speaking.
8. It's acceptable to use traditional toasts and quotes, or you may want to draw
on good (not embarrassing) shared memories.
9. Toast with champagne, wine, mixed drinks or non-alcoholic punch (coffee, tea
and water are traditionally considered inappropriate).
10. Better to try for sincerity than levity: Speaking from the heart has better
odds of going over well than a joke. Avoid inside jokes or references other
guests won't understand.
11. It is acceptable to clink on your glass with your spoon to get everyone's
attention.
12. End with an invitation to the guests to join in the toast, as in: "Please
join me in a toast to Chip and Dale. Chip and Dale!"