Teach ABCs, Not How to Contract STDs

Michael ArceneauxMay 17, 2009

Welcome to another edition of you should be raising a child not a statistic, stupid.

This weeks venom is spewed in the direction of whoever is responsible for these overly sexual children. This video looks like a cross between The Muppet Babies and Uncut. That’s a problem for you, for me, and whoever who will have treat these poor kids at the free clinic in a couple of years. I flagged the video, but I wish I could flag everyone present in this video.

“Lil’ Trina” is sad for a number of reasons. Off the bat one ought to look into calling CPS for bead abuse. If she swings her head too fast during recess so poor kid is going to grow up with the nickname “Wonk Eye.” I went to elementary school with a girl with bead happy parents. Trust me when I say no good can come of it.

While I’m not mad at Lil’ Trina’s obvious natural talent to jook or her mastery of the Ciara stank face (not an insult), you will not have a little girl making her three day old ass clap. Especially not in a crowd full of adult men. What kind of R. Kelly parenting book are Negroes reading nowadays?

I feel like I might need to contact a lawyer just for posting this.

For the little girl who bent over with grown women coaching her on: May Jesus come in the form of infertility for those women. If your kid turns out to be a stripper on her own accord, fine. But don’t teach her hoe shit before she takes the PSAT. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. At least teach the girl how to read the word Strokers before you start training her to work there.

The little boys humping the ground are no better. I want to toss a G.I. Joe toy at their dads…wherever they are. I’m not even going to touch on the other forms of eroticism in the video.

that lil boy is sexy, i kno i prolly sound like a predator but he can be my boyfriend numbah 2 LMAO…. he got down on da dance flo

I think I should title my book Some People Don’t Deserve Reproductive Organs.

I used to think outside of my nieces that I wasn’t kid friendly. Then I thought it’s not kids that I dislike, it’s bad ass kids. Now it’s dawned on me that I have no ill will towards any children at all. It’s their parents I hate. I’m not questioning the supreme being’s logic, but sometimes I wish God an imposed an application process for parenting.