Author's infos

Introduction:

Right, everything youre about to read is true, the only things ive changed are the names of the people involved, except my own. this is my first time writing, i hope you like it

Ok so i'll start off with a little backstory, im sorry if this bores anyone, but anyway.... My name is Sarah, im 19 years old and i come from an Irish Catholic family, the kind that goes to mass every week and says grace before every meal. I have very strict parents, if i go out i have to be home before its dark, they dont even want me to have a boyfriend. I have an older sister named Kim, shes almost 3 years older than me, shes probably my best friend, always there for me.
Anyway, my story starts when i was about 12. I was at my aunts house one night and my cousin was in his room for hours. I went into his room and stumbled across his computer....... he was just watching porn, but as a 12 year old Catholic girl, id never heard of it or seen it. To be honest, it kinda scared me. I couldnt understand how the girls i was looking at felt. They looked like they were in pain, but they wanted more. Those images haunted me for a few years, until i met a certain someone.......
When i was 15, my sister Kim decided it was time to bring her boyfriend to meet the family. It was the first time i saw David, tall handsome, a little pale but he had gorgeous eyes to make up for it. To me, it was like love at first sight. All through dinner i just couldnt take my eyes off him
Another year passed, my birthday came around. By this time, David and I had become pretty close friends, but it used to freak him out how much me and Kim look alike. We're both kinda short, Kims 5 foot 6 and im 5 foot 7. We both the same frame, bra size, shoe size, hair style and hair colour.most people thought we were twins. Anyway, my 16th birthday was kinda special to me, i got a present from David, and i got a hug, and i didnt want to let go of him, ever.
The day went on, and i overheard my sister and David talking about 'having some quiet fun' but Kim waz complaining about being tired. This put David in a bad mood...... I felt kinda sad seeing him like that so i had to cheer him up. I wanted to wait until everyone went to sleep to talk to David, and so i could kiss him, something i'd wanted to do for almost a whole year.
I went to the guest room where he was sleeping, and i crept in. I woke him and asked if he was ok. Almost instantly he grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me. Then he asked if id changed my mind and started kissing me again. Then it hit me, he thought i was Kim. But i didnt want to stop. I finally goy to kiss him.
Then the mood changed slightly, while i was being distracted by Davids sweet lips, he had managex to strip down to his underwear and put on a condom. He lay me down on the bed, still thinking i was Kim, and took off my pants and underwaer. Part of me knew what he wanted, and that it was wrong. But another part of me wanted him.
He cut straight to the chase, no foreplay or anything, just straight to the sex. He put it in and a small wave of pain shot through me, then he broke my hymen and i almost screamed. Then David realised it was me, but he didnt stop, and i didnt want him too. I felt so close to him, he was inside me and i felt like i loved him.
We did it for about 20 minutes, Davids expressions changed from guilty to happy, mine were constantly going between pleasure and pain. Finaly,after what felt like a lifetime, he thrust deep, making me bite my lip as a huge wave of pleasure came over me, my very first orgasm. He had his own at the same time, he pulled out and took off the condom. He gave it to me and said it was a special birthday present. It was the best (but most painful) present i got that day.
I woke up the next morning, sore, not wanting to leave my bed, thinking my night with David wad just a dream. At least until i noticed the dry blood and overwhelming pain between my legs, and the fact that i clutching the cum fillex condom in my hand under my pillow. It was only 6 in the morning, i was about to go back to sleep when David came in. He lied down beside me and like the night before, went straight to business. He had his hand in the back of my shorts. He started groping my ass and i got a bit of a fright when i felt his finger rubbing my asshole. He kissed me, not as passionately as he did last night though. This distracted me a bit from his finger, but not enough. I let out a gasp as he slid his finger in my ass. It felt weird, like it shouldnt happen. I told him i didnt like it but he just kept doing it. Part of me wanted to cry. He whispered in my ear that was even better than Kim, and i didnt know how to respond.i just kept quiet until he was finished.
At the breakfast table, it all seemed a little awkward for me. To my left were my parents who still believed i was a good child, to my right was my sister Kim, whos trust i had betrayed. Then there was David,acting as if nothing happened. I look at him, and i remembered the stuff i saw on my cousins computer when i was 12, and i realised why the girls shouted for more. I wanted more from David.

This was my first, sorry if it seems kinda short. Please be gentle with any criticisms and thank you for reading :)

I gave you a positive rating because I believe you have the potential to write good stories. Focus on the points already mentioned here and you will improve. You should write as often as you possibly can and in different genres. Look forward to seeing more of your work!!

as a first time writer you need to ask for posting and help editing .if you read your own story as currently posted you'll see that the formating is less than ideal.(the paragragh spacing while proper. is'nt the norm for online posting,it's difflcult to read ).you also have a few odd and awkward lines in your story. all that said kudos on your first story. a positive rating from me.
.

The story is good, could use more description though. Such as what you were feeling physically and how it affected you mentally or emotionally. There's a bit of that just need more explanation. Other than that superb.