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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Alternative UK Citizenship Test

On the Guardian website today there is a sample test taken from David Cameron's newly updated 'Life in the UK' citizenship test. The test must be taken and passed by anyone seeking indefinite leave to remain in the UK, or to get a British passport. As someone born in Wales to an English mother and Scottish father, I'd say I qualify overwhelmingly as 'British', yet I failed to meet the 75% score needed to pass, answering only 12 of 24 questions correctly. Not to worry though. We've put together this alternative test. By Steven Maclean.

1. St. George is the patron saint of England, but was he

A) A racist from Luton

B) The person who founded England

C) The great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather of the Queen

D) A Palestinian soldier

2. To be an MP in the UK you will most likely need to

A) Have an IQ of 140 or more

B) Be from a privileged background

C) Have a profound desire for equality for all

D) Have never committed any kind of fraud

3. Which of these people is so integral to British politics they enter No. 10 through the back door?

A) Simon Cowell

B) Richard Branson

C) Rupert Murdoch

D) Lord Sugar

4. Which of these countries will the UK illegally invade next?

A) Iran

B) Syria

C) Pakistan

D) Yemen

5. The United Kingdom gained most of its wealth through

A) Trade and commerce

B) Charitable donations

C) Economic stability

D) Imperialism: exploitation and the theft of other countries' resources

Failure to score at least 10 correct questions out of 15 will result in you being deported. Unless you are white. Or rich. Failure to be white or rich might result in us deporting you regardless of your score.