This is just my insight and perspective into the different things I notice in life. Be it from the news, the things my students or friends say, sights and people around me or something God whispers into my ear.

About Me

I am well into my 30s and realize that I see the world differently than most of the people in my life. My views and beliefs are eclectically infused by my multi-racial background, love of the triune, over active brain, dual handedness and open mind to way too many things.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pretty Means Perfect and Beautiful Means Better

So I have a friend who is extremely beautiful. I have known him for almost 20 years and have seen a transformation from a humble guy who just liked the regular things in life, could hold a good conversation and enjoyed the simple side, and is now a eccentric mid 30 year old who does not notice or obey social norms. The things that we learn from societies reactions to our behavior are very important to the development of our character. Like when you are young, if you pick your nose, people will make a terrible face at you (at least I do, there is no age where it is ok to stick your finger in your nose in front of others) and you begin to learn that it is not an appropriate behavior. Or when you embarrass someone with a comment and they change their tone or even end the conversation with you. These are all cues that we learn from society that help shape us into upstanding adults. Because, lets face it, your mom can swat your hand from your nose a thousand times and still have less of an impact as catching one persons disgusted look.

But what happens when you are so pretty (as my friend is) that society in general turns a blind eye to your little missteps, your odd remarks and your nose picking? What happens when no one backs up momma's advice because they don't want to risk being removed form your company, or ending the conversation or just hurting the feeling of a beautiful person? What happens is this, that beautiful person becomes a little uglier on the inside. They become less relevant to the things that matter in this world, they become less interesting and they become only their looks. If they have a talent like singing, acting or something that we can consume we are more apt to forgive them. But we still hold them in such high regard based on their beauty.

I bring this up, not because I have a issue with beautiful people, I love looking at God's handiwork. But because we put such emphasis on looks as it is, and when a person comes along with that knock you over freakishly beautiful beauty, we actually short change them. I am always telling my friend to do this or don't do that and that I am going to one day do a study on the effect of his beauty on his social development. Had he never found out he was so pretty on the outside I would probably still be chasing behind the beautiful man that he was on the inside (I admit I chased the outside too! Shoot, I am no saint and I was only 19!). It saddenS me that the potential I saw in him at 19 was lost over 15+ years of people letting little things slide because of his outward appearance.

The same goes for others with the "super pretty gene"! We overlook Angelina Jolie's whoring, bed hopping, husband stealing ways, not because she is with Brad Pitt or feeding hungry people and adopting half of the brown babies of the world. She receives a pardon from her personality because she is beautiful. We cried so much harder when Alliyah died than Left Eye because of her uncanny beauty. And we overlooked the fact that Alicia Keys got pregnant by a married man that she was blatantly having an affair with because she looked so cute with her baby bump at their wedding and can sing.

So my theory is that had Angelina been just regular beautiful someone may have scolded her for her trampy ways and she may have changed before decimating several relationships. Maybe Alicia Keys Beats would have chosen a different route and maybe my boy would be more of the man he was intended to be. But we shall never know... and I apologize if my striking beauty has had a negative impact on anyone's life. I will try to do better.

It is not the only the beauties at fault in these less than magnanimous tragedies, but also the beholder. There is nothing wrong with a pretty face unless it is so pretty that it never learns when it is wrong.