Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Breaking Isolation for Abuse Recovery
Even after years of healing from former abuse, I still isolate myself. I long to have intimate relationships but I isolate when I am physically ill, when I dread a conflict, when I am feeling low in self-esteem, when I am low in energy...

Isolation is part of all abusive relationships. Sometimes abusers will go to great lengths to keep us isolated from others. Abuse is easier to maintain when the victim never has the time or freedom to develop intimate friendships. Most abusers actively discourage too much connection with friends or even with other family members who don't live in their home.

Many victims use hiding as one of their defenses against abuse. I remember hiding under my bed, in a closet, in a tree, in the bathroom and behind bushes. I remember that when I couldn't escape abuse I'd stare at some object with intense focus--separating my mind from the abuse my body or ears were experiencing. I also had times when I mentally made my escape and "saw" myself being raped, as if it were happening to someone else while I was viewing it floating in a corner of the ceiling. I've had other victims share similar stories with me. We get good at isolating.

For the next few posts I'll be exploring what we can do about our isolation.