The Mill went to see Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives at the pictures yesterday. It won the Palme d'Or which suggests that some people in the know must've liked it, but the Mill reckons it's drab, slow, confused, confusing and, while seeming to promise much, in actual fact delivers a pretty tedious 90 minutes of non-entertainment when it comes to the crunch.

All of which brings us neatly and conveniently on to Fabio Capello, one of a whole host (well, three) of beleaguered England-based Italian managers currently feeling the strain. Capello's misery with the three lions could be coming to an end, however, with Internazionale ready to cut their losses on Rafa Benítez following the weekend defeat to Chievo and bring in the former Milan man. Leonardo, Diego Simeone and Zenit St Petersburg gaffer Luciano Spalletti are his rivals for the hotseat at the San Siro.

The Nerazzurri are busy in this morning's European tabloids, with ItaSportPress reporting that the club have set aside £45m for the January purchase of Cesc Fábregas. It could be one of two major Serie A raids on the Premier League, with Juventus apparently keen on taking Dimitar Berbatov and his slightly haunted look from Manchester United.

United, meanwhile, hope their chances of becoming Champions of the World will be increased by the signing of Danny from Zenit St Petersburg. The 27-year-old, whom the Mill is contractually obliged to describe as a "midfield schemer", would cost considerably more than the £500,000 that Sir Alex Ferguson is tossing disdainfully in the direction of Leeds United for teenager Elliot Kebbie. All that lavish spending will be funded, in small part, by the loan fee Panathinaikos will pay for the six-month services of Anderson.

Scouts from the blue half of Manchester have taken time out from straightening their woggles, bob-a-jobbing and earning their model making badges to take a look at Udinese centre-half Cristián Zapata. Inter, determined to feature in as many paragraphs of today's Mill as possible, are also on the chase. Udinese are holding out for at least £8m.

Roy Hodgson and Liverpool are plottting a European‑wide Supermarket Sweep once the doors are flung open on the January sales. They'll pick up Eden Hazard and Gervinho from Lille, a giant inflatable banana, three tons of cornflakes, Turkish playmaker Emre from Fenerbahce (in exchange for Fabio Aurelio), a tin of Quality Street the size of Elephant and Castle roundabout, a jar of pickled walnuts, and, if they can beat Werder Bremen to the checkout, Sampdoria and Switzerland midfielder Reto Ziegler. Yes, that Reto Ziegler.

Gérard Houllier, still keen to add further experience to his Villa squad after the signing of the 74-year-old Robert Pires, wants 89-year-old former Lyon and Brazil midfielder Juninho on loan from Qatar's Al Gharafa.

West Ham's latest scheme to drag themselves away from the foot of the Premier League involves sacking Avram Grant's No2 Zeljko Petrovic, in no way undermining the manager as they do so, and handing him Paolo Di Canio, Steve Lomas and Brentford's Wally Downes as replacements.

Everton target Yannick Djalo says he will "see what is best for me and the club" in January, the club in question being his current side, Sporting Lisbon. David Moyes, with £10m burning a hole in his pocket, is also eyeing up Manchester United flop Adem Ljajic, while Fulham want Freiburg striker Papiss Cissé.

And Sven-Goran Eriksson's Leicester City want Roman Bednar on loan from West Brom and Chris Kirkland on loan from Wigan.