Month: March 2017

Welcome to this stop on the 6th Annual

Authors in Bloom blog hop!

I’m an about-to-be self-published romance author.
I have a holiday collection of short stories scheduled for October and am working out the logistics for the release of Protective, the first in the Legatum series– a new wolf-shifter series.

I write steamy hot paranormal and contemporary romance. My heroes are always heroic, and my damsels are never in distress–they get themselves out usually.

I hope you take a few minutes to check out some of my other posts, and author interviews.

My gardening tip:

Hire someone. I have a black thumb, if you want to kill a plant, give it to me. It’s not because I don’t like plants, I would love to be able to grow and cultivate plants, I’m just really bad at it.

My recipe:

Rutabaga and Turkey Bacon Hash

This recipe is Paleo friendly, and gluten free. I have no idea if it would work with regular bacon since I am allergic to pork I’ve never tried. I can’t see why it wouldn’t work.

There is a lot of chopping involved, I make this in advance and heat it up on the stove (not a microwave). I like to serve this with poached eggs.

Ingredients:

small 4” rutabaga

1 large or two medium yellow onions

olive oil

package turkey bacon

2 to 3 apples, that are good to cook with– I typically use Golden Delicious, Honeycrisps, or Gala because that’s what we typically have on the counter at home

Salt, pepper, garlic to taste (I use pre-minced garlic in oil, garlic powder would also work)

Peel and dice rutabaga- you want your dice sizes on the small side
(1/4 to 1/2 inch)

In a large pan, boil diced rutabaga in about an inch of water (or slightly more) until water is gone

Dice the rest of the ingredients while rutabaga cooks- you want your dice sizes small (1/4inch)

When the water is all cooked off, turn burner temp to medium, drizzle about a tablespoon or 2 of olive oil over the rutabaga, and stir, making sure the oil gets onto the pan.

Add the diced onions and the diced bacon.

Add salt, pepper, and garlic to taste.

Stir so ingredients don’t stick to pan.

Cook until onions are translucent and bacon is almost crispy.

Add apples last, turn heat down to simmer. Continue to cook until apples are soft, but not mushy.

Giveaway fun!

This stop is part of the big giveaway promotion hosted by Dianne Venetta. The giveaway portion is open from March 27 until April 5.
I am giving away a $10 Amazon gift card (USD). Since this is delivered via email, it’s available internationally.

The subjects of this interview more than slightly resemble human anatomy.

Images may be considered Not Safe for Work, or British School Children, or YouSince I don’t know how to make one of those Adult Content Warning things you have to scroll down to get to the interview.

There are pictures!

You have been warned!

Peens, the Interview

Q. I’m sure everyone’s first thought upon meeting you is what is your origins story? Where did you come from and why?
A. The Peenvengers were created in a yarn factory when there was an
explosion of radioactive crochet hooks. So far the peens in our particular
Legion of Superpeens that have been given life are: Captain Ameripeen,
Ironpeen, Antpeen, Thor, and Hulk.

Q. Not all peens have superhero alter-egos. Tell us about some of your more mundane peen friends.
A. One of the very first peens to emerge from the yarn factory was Mr.
Pinky, followed soon thereafter by Rocky, whom we rescued from Justin
Beaver. Other everyday peens include Shaft, Erik the Peenk, Nick O Dick,
Percy, Mr. Perky, The Brain, Silver Fox, and so many others! I’m sure we’re forgetting some of our sweet peen friends. They all live with their human handlers in happiness and health. Some of them are finger peens, like Antpeen, useful for getting your point across and being a buddy.

And, recently, more superhero peens have begun to emerge, such as Double Deadpeen and Wolverpeen. The radioactive crochet hooks aren’t finished yet. There are many peens to come, and you can actually order one from our handler at https://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyMeanKitty

Q. As a being of crochet, do you increase and decrease in stitches often, orare you one of those what we see is what we get?
A. While some of us are bendy, we do not change in size once we have been created. Our pattern is thus: we begin with the magical number of six, usually, and indulge in frequent increases until our faces burst into the world. Eyeballs are chosen with great care. After a severe decrease, we
increase again gradually, lengthening, expanding, and widening until we
reach the pinnacle of our peenness. Most of us, additionally, are created
with hard yet friendly stabilizers to buttress us in our adventures.

Q. Is it true that peens have fortune telling skills?

A. When in a large enough group (a group of peens is a pentacular of peens, probably), crochet peens are INDEED gifted with the skill of foretelling the future, if our patterns can be interpreted by a sufficiently gifted reader. It is a bit like rolling the bones combined with tarot cards.Q. What has been your most harrowing adventure yet?A. Since only one of our adventures has been recorded so far, we’re going to have to go with that time we saved a poor innocent bystander from the wicked Justin Beaver. EVERYONE can join in that adventure in our new coloring pages created by Laura Medeiros.

Q. Where can we follow the tales of your daring deeds?A. For now, our adventures and bios are posted on our very own website:www.crochetpeen.com. There is a neglected Tumblr that our human doesn’t ever update. We have attempted to coax her to be less lazy, but it’s not easy to coax people when you have no opposable thumbs or mouths.

Q. Is life better for a peen with a hat?A. Yes. which is why Hulk is sooooo inclined to steal Captain Ameripeen’s helmet.

Q. What are your secret party tricks?A. There’s a secret party?? Why weren’t we invited!

Q. What has been the most fulfilling moment in your life as a peen?A. This interview, of course!

****

The Peenvengers’ personal handler is author and crocheter Jody Wallace, who writes [hyterical] SF/F and contemporary romance. Ms. Wallace went to school a long time and ended up with a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing. Her resume includes college English instructor, technical documents editor, market analyst, web designer, and all around pain in the butt. She resides in Tennessee with one husband, two children, one Grandma, seven cats, and a lot of junk. PS The Peens are not junk.You should follow Jody (and the peens)

This is a little different WIP-it Wednesday cause you’re getting thought process not words.

Protective is going to come out!

It’s with the editor right now!

And for reals, and soon (I think), maybe Decemberish, maybe Juneish

I have to schedule a date!

I have to figure out how to have a book launch!

I am running in circles freaking out, because even though I know what I’m supposed to be doing on an intellectual level, I actually have no clue what I’m getting myself into.

So…
I need a date
I need a teaser chapter from Driven to put in the back, cause once you read about Morgan and Honey you are going to want to read what’s up with Julia and Roman
I need to figure out this whole digital formatting thingus

I had Morgan, the hero of Protective, take this simple personality test.

He found it to be not too far off, until he reached the colors section.

His answers were for part one:

horse

tiger

cow

sheep

pig

He was a little surprised that career came in before love, but he was not surprised that family came first.

His answers for part two:

friend

furry

a rat

life

soothing

He does not equate Honey with being a cat at all. But yes coffee is life, and sex is life. He was good with that answer.

Part three he thought was full of shit. While he does love his sister Julia, he associates her with the color red, because she wears it a lot, not because she is the one person he loves with all his heart. He said that would be Honey.