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1.7 NOTES

Reminder: Don’t read the Notes before reading the actual fic chapter.*Please comment only on this and previous chapters to avoid spoiling.

Shizuru doesn’t actually appear in this chapter, and there wasn’t enough room to insert the flashback I wanted to write. Too bad! No, actually, I ended up writing an omake flashback chapter. Have at it. (Better to read it after 1.7 instead of before, but it works before as well.)

Uh, this turned out longer than I thought it would be AGAIN. :P That means the last section I wanted to stick in this chapter has to be pushed into the next (I think it would work better anyway), and I’m going to switch the order of two chapters.

Natsuki’s nightmare is based on basic facts provided by haruka108 and apollyon-0, but obviously in a very twisted way.

I know Nao was in middle school, but I don’t remember exactly what grade and a quick search wasn’t very helpful with specifics; I kind of assumed she was a year under Mai/Natsuki. (Got it.) I also don’t remember how Nao referred to other people and vice-versa with the exception of Shizuru, so I was guessing on that… will have to update that character-honorific post sometime. (*See comments below)

I don’t know if Nao is all that in-character because I wanted to develop her to a more complete personality since the HiME festival was finished, and (I’m assuming) her mom came back(!). Umm… thoughts on this? :( Yeah, I was originally going to have Aoi and Chie in there too, but–whoa, Twitch Factor. I think I’d have a seizure. :P

Familial honorifics: see the honorifics research post. Too tired to rehash at the moment.

Yukio/Kosei/Azami: More explanation later. I hope to post a graphical entry later on with images and personality blurbs so people can envision them.

This was a sloppier chapter. Sorry about that. I’ll try to edit later.

*Oh, right, I had asked about Kurauchi Kazuya’s full name because I only remembered that Akane-chan calls him Kazu-kun. Then I didn’t know how many people would be able to identify Kazu-kun immediately by his last name, which is what I think Natsuki would have called him (like Kurauchi-san) because they shouldn’t be on first-name terms. :P Aaaanyway… A minor detail, and they’re not going to appear in Syncope (at least Part 1) anyway.

64 thoughts on “1.7 NOTES”

i have waited for this chapter for like ever, and you totally delivered. Can’t wait to find out exactly who those three are either, but I am guessing that they may be related to Shiz in some way, at least that they know her, well not Azami, if she’s playing nurse, but the others definitely.

About your Nao – feels very plausible to me, well done.
Especially the ‘bothering Kuga’ part – she always seemed to me to be someone who, despite
all her (misguided?) hatred/dislike towards Natsuki, still could not keep away from her…

You know what? It felt sloppy to me because of the amount of dialogue (did I mention how much I dislike working out dialogue? no? :P)–my thinking is like this: “Hm, I need more actual narrative paragraphs. Lines of dialogue don’t count as paragraphs. Not enough description. So many annoying lines floating around by themselves!” Not terribly logical, perhaps…

(Ah, I suppose there’s a specific part where it felt sloppy to me–Nao’s bit of dialogue where she figures out the problem. I felt it should be longer or something to be more natural… but I can’t rewrite it now because my brain is still fried. :P)

Nao – yes she is, like Mikoto, one year under Mai. Official page helps, age there is from begining of the series.http://www.sunrise-inc.co.jp/my-hime/web/character/index.html
There are few credible ways to show Nao and her interactions with Natsuki and Shizuru after HiME festival. Yours is a little different from these I’ve read. So it is interesting.

You’re absolutely right; I usually mentally block out the official sites as links to visit because I just assume I can’t read anything there anyway. ^_^; (And thinking of Mikoto as the same age as Nao puts a knot in my head somewhere. :P) Thanks!

Nao is one year younger than Mai, two years younger than Natsuki, so you’ve got it right, :) I can link you to the page that has almost all of their ages once I track it down again if you’d like?

I’ll leave a proper comment on the chapter once I read it through again, but I loved Nao appearing and antagonizing Natsuki while Mai tried to keep everything calm. This chapter (and the omake) was entirely worth the wait, :)

Nao’s quite polite (or pretend to be) in front of others, but she refers to the HiME group by their last name with no honorific. I wouldn’t know if she’ll continue that after the festival (but most likely she will).

In almost all the Chinese fics I’ve read, Nao refers to Natsuki as “Stupid Dog,” literally, and Natsuki calls her “Smelly Spider.” This probably goes back to their childs too.

Nao’s quite Nao-like (or my head’s just messed up with all the fanfics I read), especially the bothering Natsuki part (like someone else had mentioned).

I believe her mom came back though still not sure if they showed us since all the precious people of the other HiMEs came back too. As for her being hospitalized before, maybe she got out since she came back from the green sparkles anyway.

Yeah, I was originally going to have Aoi and Chie in there too, but–whoa, Twitch Factor. I think I’d have a seizure. :P

LOLS! I understand what you mean here.

–haruka108–

ps. did i mention that my 3rd favorite character from HiME is Nao? or my no.1 favorite is Natsuki and 2nd is Shizuru? hahaha

Nao’s quite polite (or pretend to be) in front of others, but she refers to the HiME group by their last name with no honorific. I wouldn’t know if she’ll continue that after the festival (but most likely she will).

That’s what I thought as well, so I think I’ve kept it accurate this way. Of course, using changes in honorifics is a nice way to move along character development, too (e.g. what I did with Mai for Shizuru).

Chinese fan fics? (Not canon, I guess?) I tend to avoid relying on Chinese translations for details like that. I noticed from other fan translations of various manga-type things that the Chinese translators sometimes take a lot of liberties (English translators sometime do too!). The meaning usually remains the same, though, so it’s great to get the gist of something. I can only rely on the HiME anime anyway, though, and I don’t think they used names like that.

In a previous post, I decided that Nao’s mom did indeed come back (ifuritka posted a screen capture in question–it’s not 100% positive, but I think it would make sense… as much sense as the last episode made, that is). ^^

Chinese fan fics? (Not canon, I guess?) I tend to avoid relying on Chinese translations for details like that. I noticed from other fan translations of various manga-type things that the Chinese translators sometimes take a lot of liberties (English translators sometime do too!). The meaning usually remains the same, though, so it’s great to get the gist of something. I can only rely on the HiME anime anyway, though, and I don’t think they used names like that.

not canon, but in-character none the less… (i really have something against OOC-ness) and most mai’s i read about can’t change her addressing of shizuru and i find it amusing when natsuki or shizuru herself corrects her.

i guess there’s no avoidance in the liberties since there some japanese can’t be accurately or word-for-word-ly translated. it’s good for nao that her mom came back alive!

This was well worth the wait. :) I don’t know if I’ve mentioned how much I like the way you write Mai? ‘Cause I really do, and the dynamic between the three of them in this chapter was all sorts of cool.

Another wonderful chapter!!! I like your development of Nao so far. You wrote her the way I visualize her to be… teasing with a little bit of hostility and so fun to read. Me too I am glad there is more Nao development as her character has great potential and could be as complex as one’s wish.

Btw, I loved when you said; “But bothering Kuga is my hobby” That is totally Nao ~ ^_^

Poor Kuga – what a dream she had! It’s not easy to have your must precious person in an hospital bed… that can play hard on your conscience and give you all kinds of nightmare… I guess everyone is afraid to be left behind… even more so when you name is Kuga Natsuki.

Apologies for the longness and the rambling in this reply – sometimes I just can’t shut up.

The nightmare scene was very well done. I liked the mix of both of Natsuki’s parents leaving her, and her reactions. I could definately see her reliving both events in a nightmare setting after being in a hospital again.

Natsuki showing a softer side as she tended to Shizuru was a sweet scene. (And the omake was quite fun. Just the right amount of teasing and fluff without being sickening.)

I look forward to finding out more about the three new characters. Nothing much to say about them at the moment though.

Natsuki’s reaction to Nao was great. She always seems to let the other girl rile her up with even the slightest comment and you captured the dynamic quite well. The dialogue was a bit akward in parts (Mai and Nao’s conversation – though it could be due to the fact that Nao and Mai really didn’t have a chance to talk civilly to one another in the anime so it’s a bit hard to picture them doing so even after the events of the HiME festival) but it still works as it should. I do adore the way you write both characters though, :) Mai was very Mai-like and Nao came across as her usual trouble-making self.

Overall, I really enjoyed both the chapter and the omake. I can’t wait to see more from you, :)

Good point about the Mai/Nao dialogue; that did give me a bit of trouble for the reason you stated–not much historical conversation to go on as a model. In that sense, Natsuki/Nao was very, very easy. I implied it in the chapter, but basically, there’s Nao development we never see because several months have passed since the end of the HiME festival to the current time frame. Cheap, I know. *^^*; But I’m going to say that I don’t find Nao-civility after the festival too far-fetched assuming her mother is around. That would be the biggest influence on her character, I imagine. :)

Anyway, I’m glad you (and others) feel I managed to get the characters across decently. Thanks for commenting. ^_^

I have returned. And now that I’ve eaten dinner, I can read as late as I want. Sleep? Bah. Who needs sleep? ^^
I love the way you wrote Nao. So many people make her obnoxious. Well, she it, but I meant overly so. You just made her…Nao. Yeah, I dunno. It worked.
Also, nice touch naming the plushie Du-chan. I almost squealed. I wish Chie and Aoi had been in it, but it would have been hard to work them in. Anyway, nice chapter.
Oh, Kannazuki no Miko is an anime that revolves around Chikane and Himeko. They’re two girls that find out they’re priestesses, and fight this ancient evil called Yamata no Orochi, and… I’m bad with summaries. It just got licensed in the US, and before that it was in Japan. It’s really very good, even though it doesn’t start off that well. It’s shoujo-ai, and it has a pretty good plot. As long as you keep watching no matter what. *twitchepisode8twitch*

Good; I’m happy people seem to like the Nao I’ve started to present. Hopefully I won’t screw her up too much as the story goes on. LOL
I may look into the series if I get more free time, but that probably won’t happen since any free time I’m getting now is being thrown into writing crap. ;D

Eh, I don’t know if you did it on purpose or not (with this idea in mind), but I liked how scenes shifted in the dream sequence without you explicitly saying so; I always find it rather annoying when it becomes pure narrative in that the author says something along the lines of, “Natsuki then found herself in the corridor, as the water crept up…” and so on.

She couldn’t move a muscle… and apparently, neither could he.

I don’t quite get that. It sounds like you’re saying that Natsuki’s father couldn’t move a muscle, but that would sort of contradict the idea that Natsuki’s father abandoned her? I mean, if he “couldn’t” move a muscle, that means he was just powerless to help, but we’re sort of going along with the “mistress over daughter!” idea here. And I know you’re going for an effect here, but it just doesn’t work out properly since I’m just left wondering what the heck it’s supposed to imply. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but that it was ambiguous enough for me to interpret as such. If so, it fails to convey the sense that you were going for anyway, or maybe you meant it the way I understood it but have another reason that doesn’t immediately come to mind? Either way… please clarify on that poitn? ^^; (I’d appreciate it if you’d explain it to me too.)

As panic swirled and created white spots around her field of vision

and she continually tried to flex sound from her throat, the large shadow remained still against the light.

*frowns a bit*
I can’t quite point out what it is, but this part sounds a bit… weird.
I think that it’d be better if you put “and as”. It’s kind of repetitive, but there’s this weird vibe resonating around that I can’t quite put a finger to.

He is leaving without me.

Such a coherent thought from a child. It sounds so out of place, but inherently, it stands, but like always, I feel that it would amplify the effect if you threw it down one line. (Do explicitly tell me if you don’t want me to suggest these “put this down one line to amplify the effect” things, ’cause I never know.)

Staring straight ahead with hollow eyes set deep in the pasty white face, the semblance of Natsuki’s mother didn’t notice the girl clinging to its shirt. Ambling down the hall at a pace that ripped away the girl’s grip, it glanced back only once

Eh? Why did “it” even look back at all? I don’t get it. It doesn’t fit with the O_O zombie thing.

I’d ask you whether or not you believe Natsuki’s mother willingly sold her daughter to the First District, buuuut I have a feeling that you might be dealing with it in “Syncope”? I don’t know. Or maybe you’re not going to delve into Natsuki’s past so much? It’s kind of hard to work around it. In a way, Shizuru’s background is a lot easier to do because she has none.

Cold, bitter-tasting water splashed over her face, and her eyes bulged in terrified desperation as

some doctors and nurses strolled by. Her head slipped under.

Don’t know how to explain it, but the “some” just screws the sentence up. Badly.

By the ordinance of the Round Brackets Society, you are asked to remove the offending word with a particular weapon that is red in colour, with a violent chopping motion.

Natsuki sighed at the continuing rain after wiping Shizuru’s face and neck.

Couldja stick in an “again” after “sighed”? It just seems rather repetitive if you don’t put “again” in there, since Natsuki already sighed. (By the by, I feel the first sigh is slightly out of place. Unless you’re trying to show how Natsuki is sick and tired of these dreams she has and that she has basically outgrown her fear of them– in dreams, anyway– and that she feels her fears are secondary to Shizuru’s well-being. Mind, I don’t doubt the latter part, but… eheh. I wonder if I’m reading too much into it. But anyway, I just want to point out once again that I like all this reading between the lines. Narration spoon, die!)

And obviously, I can’t “review” on the Three Stooges’ bit. Since I have no idea what’s supposed to be “right” or not. Beyond the fact that they’re evil and out to get poor kaichou-sama by forcing her hand. :O
(Actually, they might not be “evil” per se, but forcing kaichou-sama is an evil unto itself.)

Natsuki stretched her arms out and waved them around

This reminds me of my flailing about. What is it that you wish to convey here?

“Ah, they have a special trip together today, but they

say ‘hello’. Akane messaged me the other day and also said ‘hello’,” Mai chirped.

Eh? They “say” hello? Say, said, say, said…

“Indeed,” a thin, sly drawl suddenly interrupted them. Natsuki jumped and swore, instantly twirling around to face a girl with short red hair.

The “indeed” seems to fit Nao with a thin, sly drawl, but I keep thinking that it sounds so prim and proper when it’s used like that. =\

Ah, being involved without being nosy is so hard, so hard.

Eh, will you change the punctuation (but I’m not sure that it’d be correct if it were changed), or change it to “so, so hard” or something? It sounds kinda weird like that.

I guess having to baby-sit Mikoto, that “rehabilitation” stint with the church, and having her mother around has softened her edges a bit. You’d agree, wouldn’t you, Shizuru? Ah, her mother…

I am SO glad that you explained away the nun thing with “rehabilitation”. When I saw Nao in a habit… I basically felt like the way Kruger did when she saw Ms. Maria materialise. ^^;

Aha. And I like Natsuki “talking” with Shizuru in her mind.

Growling, Natsuki popped the tasty bit sushi into her mouth and didn’t deign to respond.

Of, of, of… such a sweet word, no?

“Oh?” a venomous smirk developed on Nao’s face as she watched the vein twitch on Natsuki’s forehead.

What about “… a venomous smirk appeared on Nao’s face”?

Ignore, ignore–all that matters right now is Shizuru, nothing else.

Don’t know about you, but I would prefer going about it like this: “Ignore, ignore. All that matters right now is Shizuru– nothing else.”
Of course, yours is already italicised, so you can un-italicise it, or underline it, or completely ignore my suggestion. XD

The directed animosity had left Nao’s tone, but Natsuki found her teasing to be nearly as unbearable, and certainly not the same quality as Shizuru’s teasing, which she secretly enjoyed to some extent but would never admit it lest the brunette

take full advantage of it.

Two things. First of all, took. Secondly, that is one LONG sentence. I would suggest this:

The directed animosity had left Nao’s tone, but Natsuki found her teasing to be nearly as unbearable. It certainly did not have the same quality as Shizuru’s teasing, which she secretly enjoyed to some extent but would never admit it lest the brunette took full advantage of it.

I am only supposing Kewpie girl is giving Mai one of her patented glares, albeit rather subdued. Sorry, but when I see “eyed”, I just think of “observed”, and not the glaring sense.

Mai groaned in exasperation. “Can’t you find a hobby–a good hobby?”

“But bothering Kuga is my hobby,” the redhead purred.

No, no, Mai… tricking perverted men and using Julia to trap them is a perfectly good hobby. Especially when you’re underage. XD
And kudos on Nao purring. Heh. That’s just so… Nao.

“My curiosity as at full force now,” a low laugh taunted.

*singsong* I love my As more than my Is…!

Oh wow. And I said I didn’t have much to say. That goes to show you the difference between the two modes. (Why am I typing over 8000 characters for each entry nowadays? It’s your fault, fiend. Aha. I need to take up three “replies” since I’m over by about a hundred words. -___-)

> I liked how scenes shifted in the dream sequence without you explicitly saying so
Since dreams are like that… You realize a setting change subconsciously and later, if you do at all.

>> She couldn’t move a muscle… and apparently, neither could he.
> I don’t quite get that. It sounds like you’re saying that Natsuki’s father couldn’t move a muscle, but that would sort of contradict the idea that Natsuki’s father abandoned her?

The “apparently” is supposed to remind readers that this is purely from chibi-Natsuki’s point of view. Since this is a dream environment, conscious knowledge doesn’t always interfere with subconscious desires. At that point in time (implied), she hadn’t yet been abandoned in actuality or symbolically. Chibi-Natsuki fully expects her dad to come save her, so the fact that he isn’t moving in the dream is an implied cue to her that he “couldn’t.” Note that the woman’s shadow initially is secondary, and only after Natsuki’s cry for help does the abandonment actually coalesce.

…Now why’d you make me go and explain all that? Sheesh. It didn’t fail–you did! XD

> As panic swirled…
You might be having a problem with the first “and?” That’s a dependent and an independent clause with required comma in response to “As” and the final independent clause, where the dependent “As” clause has an internal two-item list (and). There isn’t supposed to be a comma before “she,” I’m pretty sure. I could get redundant or cut “swirled and.”

> it glanced back only once
Eh, I didn’t finish the description I wanted, I guess. Whatever. I’ll chop later. Re:Natsuki’s mom–it’ll get some “air time,” so to speak.

> Don’t know how to explain it, but the “some” just screws the sentence up. Badly.
You have to do better than that. :P Maybe “a few” or something.
The first sigh isn’t out of place; the second is more out of exasperation-at-the-world (it’s directed *at* the rain).

> but I keep thinking that it sounds so prim and proper when it’s used like that. =\
Too bad.XD

> so hard, so hard.
Hmm, no, I don’t think I will. ^_^ Stylistically, I kind of like how slightly awkward it is. It does get the point across, and I don’t mind speech being grammatically incorrect.
(Oh, yeah, Maria in Otome–whaaaaat??)
No, “of” is so demn overrated. ^_~

> developed vs. appeared
Going for a temporal sense there. “Developed” is a bit slower.

I can divide the long sentence into two, but explain took vs. take in this case explicitly? I’m not using in the preterite “she did” sense there, if you know what I mean. I might have to look in my grammar manual for this.

The “apparently” is supposed to remind readers that this is purely from chibi-Natsuki’s point of view. Since this is a dream environment, conscious knowledge doesn’t always interfere with subconscious desires. At that point in time (implied), she hadn’t yet been abandoned in actuality or symbolically. Chibi-Natsuki fully expects her dad to come save her, so the fact that he isn’t moving in the dream is an implied cue to her that he “couldn’t.” Note that the woman’s shadow initially is secondary, and only after Natsuki’s cry for help does the abandonment actually coalesce.

*sniff* It wasn’t that apparent that it was what you were going for, fiend. Can’t read your mind here… if I could, I’d read your mind and find out the meaning behind those hints you keep dropping. >_<

You might be having a problem with the first “and?” That’s a dependent and an independent clause with required comma in response to “As” and the final independent clause, where the dependent “As” clause has an internal two-item list (and). There isn’t supposed to be a comma before “she,” I’m pretty sure. I could get redundant or cut “swirled and.”

No no. It’s not the first “and”. I know that it’s supposed to be like so with two things you’re listing, which is why I really dislike those elementary teachers who insist on telling unsuspecting little kids that having two “and”s in a sentence is the greatest offense possible. But er… now I’m confused. I don’t think I mentioned putting a comma before “she”?
And if you’re going to refer directly to a chunk of text that I mentioned, will you please copy the whole part? ^^; It’s kind of difficult going back and forth and pasting and trying to remember which clause and which word and which what that you were referring to.

-___-; It’s kind of giving me a headache. You probably don’t have a problem with it so just leave it so, I guess. (Me, I would want to strangle it and toss it into the land of 13375P33|< ... so it can suffer for all eternity.)

Don’t know how to explain it, but the “some” just screws the sentence up. Badly.
You have to do better than that. :P Maybe “a few” or something.

Ehhh. I was thinking it’d be great just without the “some”. And just leaving it as “doctors and nurses”. You aren’t going to have a hoard or a gaggle or a herd or a school or a pride of doctors and nurses stampeding, now, are you? -____-; So I don’t really see why “some” or “a few” has to be there.

>_< I can't visualise it. You FAIL, fiend. (Or I'm just stupid. Either way, I get to whack you back with a spoon.)

Growling, Natsuki popped the tasty bit sushi into her mouth and didn’t deign to respond.

o.o
…
Are you saying that you think this sentence sounds perfectly correct WITHOUT “of”?
*twitch*

I can divide the long sentence into two, but explain took vs. take in this case explicitly? I’m not using in the preterite “she did” sense there, if you know what I mean. I might have to look in my grammar manual for this.

Eh… this is iffy. I think it’s alright now that I look at it again. I think I was thinking in different terms with “lest” at that moment. I don’t know. >_< Your call.

(Oh, yeah, Maria in Otome–whaaaaat??)

You fiend. Now you’re making me look up the screen shot (screenshot? I really do dislike these new-fangled words…) that I took of it. FIEND. (You really, really, really didn’t pay much attention to Otome, did you? I mean, I know you watched it more out of a sense of “duty” than interest, but still…) Here, fiend. This was what I was referring to– this was my reaction when I saw that Nao was a nun.http://img49.imageshack.us/my.php?image=natsukikruger45nv3.jpg
–> Ms. Maria, the old, strict lady with grey hair. Turns into an extremely attractive woman upon materialising. Hence Kruger’s hilarious expression. (Mashiro isn’t doing any better either.)

(I give up on doing the “image” tag. Just copy and paste, fiend. Or tell me what I’m doing wrong… -___-)

> And if you’re going to refer directly to a chunk of text that I mentioned, will you please copy the whole part? ^^; It’s kind of difficult going back and forth and pasting and trying to remember which clause and which word and which what that you were referring to.
Oops, sorry. I forget you don’t have an ACCOUNT and therefore can’t see a quick reply window. ^_^;

>:F XD :P

I kind of wanted to give the feel of a sparsely populated hospital hallway; without a “group” delimiter, then it felt like a “herd.” But whatever; works cut.

I didn’t exactly visualize Natsuki glaring in any form at Mai at that point, actually. Maybe there’s a word between “eye” and “glare.” The “eye” I was thinking of was kind of like an eyebrow-up-sidelong-“umm?” semi-warning without so much overt anger. How’s THAT for a proper description? ^_^

>> Growling, Natsuki popped the tasty bit sushi into her mouth and didn’t deign to respond.
>o.o
…
Are you saying that you think this sentence sounds perfectly correct WITHOUT “of”?
*twitch*

Ah, it’s so fun tormenting you. :)

> which she secretly enjoyed to some extent but would never admit it lest the brunette take full advantage of it.

I might actually ask a friend who’s an English grad assistant about this. ^_^; Now I’m kind of curious. “Take” just feels right, but I couldn’t explain it. “Lest” isn’t commonly used these days, I suppose.

Oh yeah, I remember that Maria bit. She should get her own spin-off TV series.

…
[laughs a lot] Ah, stupid Mai-xxxxx writers. That was so fecking random, you know. (Doesn’t Imageshack create Livejournal tags for you or something?) I think it’s something like this:

Er, I can’t seem to think of a reasonably short way of describing your in-between-eyeing-and-glaring bit.

Or you could just describe the act, no? You eye something when you’re appraising it, or when you’re forming your first impression of someone, or perhaps when you’re ogling someone rather attractive.

And darn, I just read a book without closure. And that makes me displeased. Since it’s this sort of not-quite-right-in-the-head kind of person who’s killed at least thirteen people. And it’s fiction, by the way. Something that SOMEONE has decided to abandon a while ago. For reasons unknown.

And, eh. “Lest” is common enough. Not obsolete, and definitely nowhere near archaic. Which reminds me of (of of of of!) how I use archaic words at times, simply because they fit the situation.

Question time: do you think it’s a beautiful thing, ugly thing, neutral thing, or in-between thing that language is changing? For the sake of this question, please limit “language” to that of the English language.

Argh, exempli gratia has to be one of the corniest handles there is. And the worst (best?) part is how it comes by so weirdly. Oh well.
For an example I am.

Now I have another question. How do you show it, then? If you’re trying to show someone how to bold things or whatnot. You could, of course, do it like so: <b>. But then, what if you wanted to show how to do the < , or the >? Since I remember you showing it to someone?

Ah, the comment limit. But it’s kind of o.o when I hit the comment limit twice at one go.

Eh… I don’t like Maria much. But seeing Kruger’s face is worth it. Come to think of it… Shizuru and Kruger didn’t get a lot of air time, did they? I don’t know– I seem to dislike Mai-Otome as a whole more and more as time goes by.

And 4300 characters isn’t a whole lot, really. So it’s not that hard to tip the limit.

> “Lest” is common enough.
Not in my circles, not in the media so much, and I’m not talking about literature. I guess I just don’t hang out with litty people at all.

> do you think it’s a beautiful thing, ugly thing, neutral thing, or in-between thing that language is changing? For the sake of this question, please limit “language” to that of the English language.

Define change and give a temporal limitation. :P

In HTML code (I forget the exact term–entities?), less-than is &lt; and greater-than is &gt;. Of course, to show that example, I had to use “&amp;gt;” to show the code since ampersand has its own code (can you see the eternal loop in that example?).

Oh, right. I’m reading “The Little Things” right now. I don’t know why, but a “happy” serve sounds so fitting. I just love that– a “happy” serve. The greatest part is how you can just imagine Shizuru’s facial expression as she does it. (I’m referring to the part where Haruka tries to challenge Shizuru and win the support of the members from the FIH! fanclub (i.e. everyone except Haruka herself and Yukino).

> do you think it’s a beautiful thing, ugly thing, neutral thing, or in-between thing that language is changing? For the sake of this question, please limit “language” to that of the English language.

Define change and give a temporal limitation. :P

Eh… wouldn’t it just be easier if you told me what you thought of it, like where your limits are as far as that goes, with accepting “change” to the English language? And why you think it’s okay or not okay or something of the sort.

*frowns a bit*
Lest…
Well, I don’t know. I suppose a relatively small number of people use it, but I still don’t think it’s quite so uncommon. Maybe we have different definitions of “common”, then? I don’t know.

I mean, a word like “tergiversation” is uncommon, since I don’t think I’ve ever really seen someone use-use it.

Everything has errors, but that has fewer than most, I think? ;) The tennis chapters were funny.

> wouldn’t it just be easier if you told me what you thought of it, like where your limits are as far as that goes, with accepting “change” to the English language? And why you think it’s okay or not okay or something of the sort.

I guess a good limitation is generational slang. Some slang terms keep well if it’s regularly used (other times slang terms ruin perfectly good English words), but I think there’s a line between simplifying awkward mechanics inherited from the Germanic Olde English side versus adopting clique-based “leetspeek” or other gang-slang forms. (The history of 1337 was really to circumvent legal issues of pornography and other things, I think, as opposed to truly abbreviating communications. At least, that’s what some historical linguist told me.) It’s really about mainstream. So long as there’s a majority resistance, then the traditionalists are fine. On the other hand, the traditionalist resistance (e.g. the rate of change in standard dictionaries) is much tougher–it takes longer for the dictionary sector to adopt something than mainstream to adopt something, probably also because things tend to fall out of mainstream just as quickly. I’m fine with that. I think adding new words if it survives intact across generational lines is usually okay. Of course, I’m just talking about vocabulary; there’s the whole issue if dialects with that as well. In terms of grammar, things change much more slowly, and that’s great, because who wants to continually relearn rules? Learning semantic content is easier. Anyway… I’ve forgotten what the question was.

Everything has errors, but that has fewer than most, I think? ;) The tennis chapters were funny.

But it garners a major twitch factor with me– “ying and yang” is what was written. Stranglestranglestrangle…

Yep, I liked the tennis chapters, but the whole switching thing confused me. The words weren’t so clear (or my skull is too dense) and I didn’t get how the two things (Haruka’s envisioned scenario and the actual thing) were supposed to go.

Shizuru’s “happy” serve. Heh.

Shizuru tricked Haruka into staking out for the lingerie Orphan and went home to have a very pleasant dream, right? Well, Shizuru came back and she had her hand on her cheek and that extremely Shizuru expression on her face. XD It was so funny… ‘specially when you compare it to Haruka’s. And I’m imagining that during the matches, Shizuru had that expression at least once.

Sometimes I pity Haruka. She’s trying so hard to “compete” with Shizuru, and yet Shizuru never even views her as competition. (I disliked Haruka immensely soon thereafter due to her homophobia + slapping Shizuru.) The worst part, I feel, is how Yukino must’ve felt when Haruka so vehemently proclaimed the depravity of homosexuality. It’s “funny” how so many people make comments– homophobic comments– and you can just tell that they’re assuming that everyone else accepts it as true. Can’t you just tell sometimes, by the tone people take on, that they really expected no objections whatsoever? Simply because it’s unthinkable.

But really, there’s a disproportionately large number of lesbians (or bisexuals, since we can never know) in the Mai-HiME cast. Well, not really, but you generally don’t get so many without it turning rather ludicrous. Or maybe I’m just hallucinating…

I don’t know if you’ve heard of Strawberry Panic!, but… everyone’s a lesbian. EVERYONE. Or at least, that’s what you’ll have to assume since nearly every schoolgirl acts like a fangirl. (The annoying variety, as far as you’re concerned, if I remember correctly.) Oh, and, well, there is not a single mention of a male character, so I’m not saying “fangirl = lesbian”.

And I don’t know– I asked you that question because I remember someone pointing out how the beautiful thing about language is how it’s changing. I thought it was weird/odd/bizarre, since I didn’t think it was such a beautiful thing.

It’s horrifying the way English is being used nowadays.
Long ago, there was a time where you could trust companies and whatnot to make sure that things are correct, but no more. You get “PIN number”, “Seasons’ Greetings”, “DVD’s”, and I saw something along the lines of “Kids Furniture”.
I dislike colloquialisms, and find them rather annoying, and I just avoid them, most of the time anyway.
And yeah, when I was asking you that question, I was thinking more along the lines of vocabulary also.
I don’t think grammar rules should change at the drop of a hat, since it’s not just messing with one word anymore; it’s messing with something “universal” across the language and you have to make sure it sort of picks up. Since there’s no use if it’s “official” but no one follows it because of how stupid or obscure it is.
I’m just worried that a generation or two past and no one WILL know the difference between things.
I felt it was painfully sad when the site of a large, large company hired a buffoon who couldn’t even differentiate between “its” and “it’s”. (I’m suddenly reminded of calculus now.)

I’m just glad I’ll be dead by the time they screw English up REALLY, REALLY badly. (Not that it isn’t bad enough already.)

I’m not that accepting of colloquialisms in general anyway, since most of it are just things that describe bodily functions. Euphemisms, vulgarities… who knows. It’s just pointless.

Hm, at this rate, I’m not sure when I can get to 1.10. I’ve been pressured into joining a panel at a conference. Ugh, more work.

At any rate, it’s impossible to be worse than me. =P

I’ve recently experienced the odd feeling of going through my writing and thinking something along the lines of, “Why the heck did I write something like that—? … OH…!” And that, of course, made me feel rather -____-

It’s a pity that “Syncope” will have to take a backseat as far as work and other things that crop up in life are concerned. But such is life, no? At least you’re not like me—there are so many things that I haven’t touched in years. Literally. I think. Maybe. At least one or two years.

I admit it’s partially because of the general “Crep… what now?” feeling.
(This is because I never, ever, ever physically “plan” my story out. I may do research, I may suddenly get a bout of miraculous inspiration… but I never, ever, ever know what’s going to “happen” in my fiction works, except for the general direction that it’s going towards. I do try to “work it out” in my head, though, on occasion. Sometimes I don’t have to do anything at all and those stubborn little twerps—my characters—just take charge. Bossy little things. I’m fond of them, though.)

And well, I would agree with “a little change”, but with the way things are going… it doesn’t seem so “little” to me anymore.

You know, I’m suddenly compelled to comment on this Mai-HiME fanfiction that was sorely lacking. It was this AU type of thing, and egh, let’s just say gratuitous kissing scenes were plentiful. Not full out NC-17 mind, but it just seemed like it was shoved down readers’ throats without any thought behind it (except, possibly, that anyone’s got to like kissing/maybe more things).

:D
Congratulate me, fiend—I watched twelve episodes of anime almost non-stop on Sunday.
(It was so good that… well, let’s just say I have a new favourite. Well, it ties with another one, but that’s not the point.)

> I’ve recently experienced the odd feeling of going through my writing and thinking something along the lines of, “Why the heck did I write something like that—? … OH…!” And that, of course, made me feel rather -____-

What? I’ve been doing that more with “Syncope.” ^_^; (–since people like you have been reviewing earlier chapters, that is. :P) I reread 1.1 and my face gets all screwy. o_o “Eeee.”

> It’s a pity that “Syncope” will have to take a backseat as far as work and other things that crop up in life are concerned. But such is life, no?

I may have to take a break soon, though, and write just to relax. One of my classes is just demn ridiculous…

I’m under the impression that most people don’t fully outline/plan out their stories to the end anyway. (Happily, I have the last couple of chapters all planned out and even the last line is written. ^_^ Now, to fill in a missing middle piece…)

Re:gratuitous
Ah, nothing like pointless gratuitous…ness. :P

No, I won’t congratulate you. New series?
Blah, so sleepy. Maybe I should crack open 1.10 and eat fruit.

Darn, with Generator, it hides threaded comments if they get too long. =\

No more pushing the horizontal scrolling bar, eh?

XD Rural park! Rural park!
I’m trying to play out certain possibilities in my mind right now. Let’s see, Shizuru doing anything remotely similar to labour is an appalling thought, and I guess she’d get Natsuki to carry all the stuff (like the Shizuru and Haruka thing in episode… nine of Otome, was it?) so she wouldn’t have to do anything AND get to see an indignant and really cute Natsuki.

I’m having a lot of fun just imagining how you might make 0.3, possibly? Yes. Yay.

Question, now. Why would you take a class that’s ridiculous? Or is it so ridiculous that it didn’t seem ridiculous before you took it?

Ooo, the last line’s written? Do you mean the last line to “Syncope 1.x”? Or the LAST LAST line?

No, I won’t congratulate you. New series?

*sniffle*
Waaah. =(
(Hmph!)
…
Yes.

Blah, so sleepy. Maybe I should crack open 1.10 and eat fruit.

Eat fruuuit. It’s healthful. I must admit it sounds weird to be “correct”, sometimes. Healthy!

Who wants horizontal scrolling? ^_^; Eh, in the future I may just make comments in-line, but this is okay, I think.

I just wrote an omake. :P So 0.3 should be written until at least 2 chapters later. Since it’s near the end already of Part 1, then I’m thinking of writing 0.3 just before Part 2. Besides, description post needs to go up before 1.10, actually… Wah, more work! ^_^;

Re:Ridiculous class–
I mean it’s a ridiculous amount of work. We’re running around like chickens with our heads cut off. The professor doesn’t even use a syllabus, and that drives me insane. ~_~#

I mean the LAST LAST line of “Syncope.” Happy now? (LOL)

My plums!

(Hey, if Muse-chan beats me up anymore, I’ll go into a coma. That’s not good, is it? HUH? HUH?)

Aha! The virus has passed to you now! :3
I mean the “forgetting-to-put-“not”-in-the-sentence”, of course.

In-line comments? Eh? Waza? WAZA?

Do you have the Fia/Nari thing done? I suppose I could go and give Fia Nari-hair and give her Nari-grey-eyes.

I’ve been looking for a “good” picture of her though, but I can’t seem to find any. I remember you saying you have the last few episodes? Maybe you can grab it off, then? (In episode twenty. I just don’t know where.)

Don’t you Brits use single quotes somewhere when nesting them? That looks so weird. :P

> Do you have the Fia/Nari thing done? I suppose I could go and give Fia Nari-hair and give her Nari-grey-eyes.

Friend forgot about Nari, I guess. You can go ahead and try it out, if you like, since I don’t know when I can bother her again. ^_^; That headshot isn’t so bad. I haven’t had any Otome eps on my drive for a long time, actually; I deleted the entire thing shortly after it was finished. The Memento site might have a better screenshot somewhere.

> And it’s never too early for an omake! Let’s go up to 0.9999999254234234!

Bah! [Whispers to Muse-chan: Listen not the daft one, now.]
Actually, that link would be useful… BUT I’M NOT SAYING “THANK YOU.” Hmph.

> I don’t know why, but I have a funny feeling that the LAST LAST line has to be kind of… corny… –in a completely Kyanobenthes way– else… how the heck do you come up with an ending line, huh? HUH?
And yet, it doesn’t really seem like it will be “corny”, if you know what I mean.

…
[Whispers to Muse-chan: Listen not to the lunatic, now.]
What? Corny? You think I’m corny? … o_o
Aww, Du-chan wants to play with me. :3

> Three Stooges
Uh, I guess my friend just doesn’t like capitalizing things. She didn’t capitalize Kosei either, I think. Yes, description post when I have them all. Missing Nari at the moment. (Well description post #1–there will be another in Part 2, I suppose.)

> You’ve got lots of it to go around at any rate.
…That wasn’t a fat joke, was it? o_o

*snigger*
Yes, it was, actually.
I figured it’d be okay since it’s obviously teasing (since I have no idea what your physique is). I would never do potentially offensive things like that unless it’s really obvious that I DON’T mean any offense. Mind, that doesn’t stop me from being offensive in general. ^_~
(This also means that I won’t say “potentially offensive” things even if it doesn’t apply to that particular person. For example, I wouldn’t make fat jokes/comments to a really thin person either. Since it just reinforces the idea that such comments are okay and blah blah blah. All that stuff.)

You’re just pretending to be a Brit, aren’t you? :O Poser! I’ll bet you aren’t even in Britain, eh. ;D

Aha! I never said I was or was not in Britain. *nyaahhh* You can only blame yourself for assuming something that I did not confirm or deny. Note that I only said I use British spelling.

FOR EXAMPLE wins!

(You seriously need scrolling text in your life.)

*throws dolt in the deep, blue depths of insinuations* ^_~

*bows*
Thank you, thank you.
You’re too kind. Not.

>Fia, episode 22 or thereabouts
No, dolt, I will not go edit a picture of an impaled Fia, thank you.

C’mon then, poser-caller.
>=) < -- evil look
What does “fanny” mean, huh?
Note that it’s supposed to be rhetorical. -___-
I really have no interest in knowing which way you take it as.

> I was acting daft
Argh, I can’t tell half the time in text, you know.

> I figured it’d be okay since it’s obviously teasing (since I have no idea what your physique is).
Actually, I was just confused. :P

> British spelling
Oh, fine. ~_~

> No, dolt, I will not go edit a picture of an impaled Fia, thank you.
Idiot, I meant when Fia was staring down her weapon at Midori (or in various other semi-threatening poses), BEFORE being impaled. XD; Or maybe that ep where she attacked the Black-Valley-something-or-other (Midori’s village).

>I was acting daft
Argh, I can’t tell half the time in text, you know.

Er… are you being sincere or sarcastic? I can’t tell. >_< It sounds sincere, but the words sound potentially sarcastic, if you know what I mean.

> British spelling
Oh, fine. ~_~

HAHA. You know I WIN!

I meant when Fia was staring down her weapon at Midori (or in various other semi-threatening poses)

You don’t mean to say, fiend, that Nari is supposed to be semi-threatening also? I cannot imagine “semi-threatening-ness” for Nari beyond the Shizuru-I’m-going-to-kiss-your-sweet-lips-of-perfection-chuu-chuuuuu~ thing.

Oh, come on. We’re just an itty bitty wee away from horizontal scrolling, despite the fact that our comments are all squished. Another point in favour of writing a pointless message is how it’ll contribute to the flooding of your inbox. ^__^