Beyond the pain: Family who lost loved one supports Dover crosswalk petition

Monday

Jan 7, 2013 at 3:15 AM

By Michelle Kingstonmkingston@fosters.com

DOVER — After finding a way to deal with the pain from losing their loved one, the family of Cathy Allen is now on a mission to improve pedestrian safety on Chestnut Street.

Six years ago, Cathy was struck and killed there while attempting to cross the street and make her way home from the Bell Center for the Arts. She was 56 years old.

“We always thought, as a family, what can be done?” Cathy's son, Andy Allen, said. “But it was hard, having lost my mom and getting over that and then trying to bring it all back up. It's difficult.”

The Allens have since started to bring awareness to the crosswalk on Chestnut and Third Street where they lost their mother after hearing about a young woman in Dover, Jaclyn Cote, who started a petition after being hit at the same crosswalk.

Jaclyn's goal was to have 200 signatures on her petition. With the help of the Allens, the petition now has 881 signatures.

“Do we want to open it all up again?” Cathy's other son, Mike Allen, said he had questioned. “It has taken a lot to deal with it all, with what has happened to my mom. But, we can't let this happen to someone else.”

Fifty-five traffic incidents have occurred in the same area in the past 10 years. The Allens do not blame anyone and believe it was an accident. Their mother was walking with friends. One friend leaned back and another had to run across the street to get out of the way of the car.

“My mom was just kind of at the wrong spot at the wrong time,” Mike said.

June 21, 2006, is a day the Allens will never forget.

“I remember turning down the street after getting the call that she had been in an accident thinking I was going to be taking her to the hospital,” Cathy's daughter, Alexis Dascoulias, said. “Then when I pulled up, I was told she didn't make it.”

Cathy left behind four children, one who has since passed away, who told their father, together, that their mother had died.

“She was as vibrant of a woman as you could find,” Tom, Cathy's husband, said. “It didn't matter who or what, you were her friend.”

Alexis said she did not have a mean bone in her body.

“We made a collage of photos of her for the funeral and there was not one photo you could find of her where she wasn't smiling,” Mike said. “She never frowned.”

The line for calling hours at the Wiggin-Purdy-McCooey-Dion Funeral Home was an hour and a half long, wrapping around the building and out along the sidewalk past Rite-Aid.

“To see the number of people that she had touched over the course of her life, it said something about her and the type of person she was,” Mike said.

Tom said his wife had a good attitude on life, which he recognized immediately when they were dating.

“The moment I knew she was for me, she actually had fallen into a pile of manure,” he said. “She got up and she was laughing and I said to myself, 'Any sort of city girl who could come running around the corner, fall in a pile of cow crap and come up laughing has the right attitude about life.'”

Years later, the close-knit family gets together often and remembers her always, welcoming her into all of the parties they have, hoping she is there, in some sense.

“When we married on March 21, it was dark, there was sleet and rain and all that,” Tom said. “But we stepped out of the church and the sky opened up and the sun shone on us. It was like an affirmation of the choice we had made.”

Andy said, for him, rainbows are a sign from his mother.

“And she is remembered,” Andy said. “The stories go on. My soon-to-be fiance gets emotional because she never met her and she hears all the great and wonderful stories.”

A year after Cathy died, family and friends gathered at the crosswalk and lit candles, said a prayer and sang Amazing Grace, her favorite song.

Tom said they do not make it a yearly tradition because Cathy would have wanted them to just remember her by celebrating life.

“Her words would've been, 'Go on with your lives!' Something like, 'Eat, drink and be merry and have some fun for God's sake!'” he said, tearing up while remembering the love of his life.

“You have to live life for her,” Andy said, adding that life just has to move on.

“There is not one day that goes by where we don't reminisce or talk about her. I think, now knowing how many accidents have occurred in that same spot, I wouldn't want anyone to go through what we went through in losing someone,” Andy said. “I would be willing to do whatever it takes to make that area safer.”

The Allens believe a pedestrian push button operated light at the intersection is the best possible solution to improve the safety of pedestrians.

“If you watch people going through that area, it is like most areas. If the speed limit is 20, people are going to do 30,” Tom said. “There has to be some way to stop the traffic in a sense that they are forced to go slower.”

Andy said he was thankful after reading about Jaclyn's petition because as much as he had always wanted to bring awareness to the intersection, it wasn't something he thinks he could have started.

“Just because it brings it all back up,” he said. “But, I'm definitely supportive and if going to City Hall and speaking is what needs to be done to bring more attention, then I'll do it.”

He said if he does speak at a council meeting, city officials will hear about, and see, “an emotional family who went through something that maybe could've been prevented in one way or another.”

Tom said that with 55 reported accidents, there must also be a number of close calls and unreported incidents.

“It begs the question in a sense that if this happens this often, something needs to be addressed,” he said. “And I'm not sure that it has — at least not to my satisfaction yet.”

To help raise awareness for pedestrian safety, sign the petition online at ipetitions.com/petition/dover-crosswalk.