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Hey, I’ve been thrown out…

Do you think it’s possible to be a total tool bag , or at least have tool bag tendencies and not know it?

Why didn’t someone tell me?

There is a certain etiquette in this crazy social media world and I have been known to pick up the food with my fingers a time or two, so I feel the need to apologize to my community.

Here’s where I’ve dropped the ball:

Not reaching out to follow someone when I see them at my place.

Not RT’ing their post after I have made a comment.

Not featuring or asking anyone to guest post.

Not reaching out to others in comment streams when I am there.

Please forgive me for not reaching out

I have not actively followed others for some time. However, if you took the time to follow me I probably followed back unless I didn’t get a good vibe from the site. Trust me, I’m pretty easy.

If I keep seeing you at the same places then common courtesy dictates I extend an invitation.

I’m still learning and would love to RT you

More times than not, I will comment on a post and just leave. Certainly nothing intentional and if I need to light you up like a Christmas tree by punching all of your buttons I will work on being a better student of ‘what is right and proper’. After all, we want you to get as many bonus points and a new car as soon as possible, right? Don’t you love that new car smell?

That sounds like work and my house is a mess

I’m afraid………….and I’m lazy. I applaud the people who take the time to feature other bloggers or offer their sites for guest posts. I have thought about it, but after having a couple of hiccups with extending Triberr invitations I’m a little gun shy to ask for anything (BTW – Triberr is great). I do have broad shoulders, but not thick skin unfortunately; and need to give credit for that phrase to my friend Kaarina Dillabough.

Hi, my name is Bill and it’s nice to meet you

For the new person jumping in a comment stream and seeing all the inside jokes going on, it can be intimidating to say the least. Yes, I’m guilty of doing this with the people I know (just ask Griddy) but will do a better job of being inclusive going forward. It can get very cliquish and I don’t want to be ‘that guy’.

My pledge

I have not intentionally ignored anyone. If you quit coming to my place (or never made the effort to stop by) it was nice knowing you. If you have been to my place and felt you didn’t get any love in return I truly apologize. If you never came back because I wasn’t compelling enough then I apologize for that too; but this might be as good as it gets, it might be the only voice I have.

Whereas I don’t necessarily expect quid pro quo on commenting as I frequent sites where they must not feel safe coming back to my place (see ‘compelling‘ comment), as long as I can I will make the effort to go to your site if you were gracious enough to come see mine.

This is my ‘A’ team

The beauty of this is you can choose who you want to hang with. It might not always be reciprocated, but that happens in real life too. We all want to be part of the cool crowd, right? Well I assure you, my community is pretty damn cool to me. I appreciate each and every one of you, and that’s all I’m going to say about it.

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119 thoughts on “Hey, I’ve been thrown out…”

Hi Bill,
I know I’ve never felt slighted. I think you do a remarkable job of staying in touch with your community and writing good comments that are enjoyable reads. There are only so many hours in the day. Hope you have a good fourth.
Riley

Yes, there are so many hours in the day. I have been able to develop a pattern and if you post more than twice a wk I might not make it every day. But I do try to touch the people who see me first and if time permits I might venture out to check others.

I know there is an ebb and flow and people will come and go; I would like to hope if they don’t come back however, it wasn’t because they felt neglected.

I do plan on having a great 4th and I’m actually relaxing with a cup of coffee and catching up on some blog reading as it appears to be a slower day because of the US holiday.

Good to see you and I thought your latest post was pretty awesome. Similar to my last post except about 10 layers deeper; very thought provoking.

Well, in spite of all that you still get close to a 100 comments on your post; and that’s what most of us frantically deal to achieve – so job well done!

If we wanna know more, we click on the “About” page; that should do the job well enough and then we can stalk you all over the blogging circles so find out what you’ve been talking about! If they wanna know you, then they’ve gotta do their job…right?

As for RTing our posts…really, you haven’t been doing it? It’s okay actually, you leave such pretty comments that the lack of post-comment-frantic-sharing-actions can be ignored!

Who are all these people and where are they coming from? I certainly appreciate each and everyone who shows up, but it still has me scratching my head at times. I probably just need to go with the flow and quit trying to analyze it, huh?

Basically my point was if somebody came by and they didn’t feel welcome, I’m trying to pay more attention. If for some reason you just don’t like my stuff, then I don’t think there is much I can do about that part of it.

I was trying to make it somewhat humorous but it might have come out like I was whining or something which I really wasn’t.

This is the best post for me to stop in and pay you a visit sir! I think this whole blogging/relationship world is one giant learning experience (like everything ey?!). I know that I stumble time and again and there are times that I’ve wanted to get off the ride believe me. Ah, but I’m really glad I’ve hung in there because just like raising a child, it only get better and better!

I’ve seen you around “these parts” and you are always one of the most gracious, engaging individuals who comment and always bring something to the table, so I would never even think you were anything other than perfect; being the model blogger and commenter. It’s nice to know your real and you have flaws … makes people like me, who really do have them, feel better! You’re kind!

I’m glad I’m on the Dorman train now and I’m looking forward to the ride … whoo hoo!

Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. The main point I was trying to get across if I ever appear to quit being ‘real’ I certainly hope someone calls me out on it. People tend to just disappear in this arena and you never find out why; it just leaves you wondering ‘well. what did I do wrong’ at times.

Some train, huh? Have you seen the dinner car?

I really haven’t seen anyone mess up too bad, but I have seen some who talk engagement but they are more interested in ‘what’s in it for them’. If they are concentrated on building their business and their focus changes, then that is fine and I certainly wish them the best of luck. We can always choose to disengage if we want, right?

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around because we do hang out at a lot of the same places.

You’ve been thrown out of what?!? You are nuts. The lovable kind of nuts, but nuts none-the-less. It’s hard. Really hard. Some weeks I don’t get to my Reader at all and I think, “Why would anyone read Spin Sucks if I don’t read and tweet their blogs?” So then I do better for a couple of days and then, I don’t know, the pressure of running two companies takes over again. And then guilt sets in. Again. And then I have to read John Falchetto’s “Guilt Is Not a Business Model” to feel better. My advice? Stop feeling guilty for not doing the things you think everyone else expects. We all have weeks, or months, or years where we just can’t do it. It’s OK. We all understand.

The fact is Bill just didn’t meet the membership requirements. We even lowered them to allow dogs and ponies and still he couldn’t over come his limitations. It is ok. It’s not like there aren’t other clubs he can measure up too. I mean we only asked that he bring a vegetarian dish and he brought steaks. He left crumbs in the passenger seat in my car. And he lives in a swing state. I mean who lives in a swing state these days?!!!

So yes we had to remove him from the facility and forcibly I might add. Bill definitely did not leave quietly. Last I heard were yells about a lawyer and having my spaceship insurance canceled. But it needed to be done.

I just want you to be my friend dammit…………..you are the only one who validates me ……thanks for setting the bar so high……………..:)

Actually, this post was a somewhat subtle attempt at humor. It appears it came off more as another whining rant of mine. Just about every time I open my mouth it shows how naive I still am in this world.

I was just trying to weave into the story some things that might appear neglectful on the surface, but certainly not intentional on my part.

In your case, your platform is much different than mine. It’s a lot easier for me to keep track of my 37 followers than the 3 mil you have. You were gracious enough to open the door and dragged me to parties you might not have been comfortable doing so. You can only carry me so long and at some point I have to create my own way.

Thanks for stopping by and even though my legs would probably look pretty good shaved, I just have to draw the line somewhere………..after all, it’s my integrity…….:)

Ooo, yeah, what Gini said! I’m so glad to see the ebb & flow of reading and participating. I try very hard, but the consistency is just not always there. Now I need to go read about how Guilt Is Not a Business Model – I’m thinking it might be beneficial!

Bill – too many rules do not good friendships make. If you like someone and are enjoying and supporting one another, then the need need to follow some unwritten (or written) social media etiquette rules is merely adding an unnecessary layer of false complexity to the relationship. We’re all just human who happen to be communicating from a computer. We need to have the same levels of acceptance, understanding, and flexibility with these relationships as we do those in our daily physical life.

Humor or not, don’t let anyone make you feel less. You are one of the biggest supporters out there!

Wow, thank you so much for knocking me upside the head……and I mean it. I don’t want there to be rules and if I allowed that to slip into my mindset, then shame on me.

‘If you like someone and are enjoying and supporting one another, then the need to follow some unwritten (or written) social media etiquette rules is merely adding an unnecessary layer of false complexity to the relationship’. This couldn’t have been said better and if you see me stray from this please break out the 2 X 4 again.

Unconditional love, right? I still have questions, but it should never be the driver of my interactions. I have the choice to participate or not as does everyone else.

Thanks for the response, I really needed it to get everything back in perspective.

So true – we each have the choice to participate. It reminds me of the kids who have to make up every rule of the game and enforce them all the time – it takes all the fun out of playing. Some good socially responsible guidelines followed by well-intended people is definitely my preference. If people are trying to force you into a host of specific rules, I recommend finding another game to play – it’s way more fun!

The beauty of “social media” is that we should see it as we do with our offline relationships. Do we call our “best friend” every day? Do we lunch with them each week? Do we pass along their anecdotes and jokes to everyone we meet? No.

“Social media” certainly has its protocols, unwritten rules and “understandings”, but I think after you’ve been around long enough, you realize that with the vast amount of information and options out there, it’s virtually impossible to keep up with everybody, all the time. Hence my “Balance is B.S.” stance:)

And if Gini can feel guilt, OMG…she’s the maven of connection and communication, so if she feels the pinch, holy Batman!…what about all of us in the trenches?

My point? Keep those broad shoulders (thanks for the tip of the hat on that one:), ebb and flow with what works for you, and if people get p’d off, well…that’s really their problem, not yours.

I know with my offline friends I don’t have to justify, rationalize, explain or defend why I haven’t called…why we haven’t connected. I know it’s different online, where everything’s expected to be dealt with, answered and RT’d, @mentioned immediately, but I think we all need to find our ever-fluctuating groove.

That’s not to say I don’t feel sometimes that I’m in the not-cool crowd, on the outside looking in. But again, that’s my issue…I tell myself to get over myself, and just be me. After all, that’s the only person I can be.

So, I’m happy to be part of your cool community Bill. I’ve gotten to know you well enough that, if there’s a lapse in our connection, it’s not a death in our friendship…it just is. Just continue being you: that’s what we love. And I think it’s what we love about each and every person we truly forge a connection with online. Some days up…some days down…just like life. Cheers! Kaarina P.S. LOVE the total tool bag and compelling links!

I did try to make this somewhat humorous and it was a somewhat tongue in cheek post. It did come off a little bit as a whine, but I made my point in a non-offensive way.

It does seem a little different online because we are used to seeing people everyday so we know when someone drops out.

I figured I couldn’t use the shoulder/skin quote again w/out giving you credit. I mean after all, you copyrighted it first; I couldn’t steal that one.

Good to see you and thanks so much for stopping by. Getting ready to grill some burgers, already popped the top on a cold one and should be able to see our share of fireworks from out patio. I see some clouds, but hopefully we won’t have the boomers like you had on Canada Day on Friday………..Saturday…………whatever day the 1st was.

Hi Bill,
Who threw you out? Apart from Gini above, guilt isn’t something we should feel…:)

How much time do we have, really how much time can we put into relationships online? I think quality is more important than quantity. A few Skype calls with my good friends Bill, Marcus, Mark and others will always be more important to me than having 10000 of followers on Twitter or comments.

Bill I’m glad we got to meet online and I look forward to meeting you IRL one day.

John right now I am parked across from his house. Waiting for him to leave so I can change the locks on his estate and pick the lock of his minibar by the pool. I will give you the high sign when it is safe to come over.

I just want to be clean and smooth; I want everybody to like me………..:)

I have to tell you a little secret, so please don’t share this with anyone; I still don’t know where these people are coming from and I guess I’m not secure or confident enough to run with it. When I don’t see ‘so and so’ or you were here early but not now, I wonder how credible I really am. I know, quit over-analyzing it……………..it’s not rocket science, right?

At the end of the day I hope the people who have stopped by have either been entertained or got some value from stopping by. Whether by me or by some of the comments that have been left.

The beauty of the web is you rarely need to apologize. The reason is because once you do so, that apology is indexed and is forever retrievable — so someone may read the above before reading anything subsequent.

And us men of honor have to hang together, huh? I do have to chuckle when you and Brian stop by and will probably do a post about it someday. It’s like there is pressure to pick up my game because real writers just stopped by. I’m waiting for you to pull back the curtain and go ‘ah ha, I told you he wasn’t a writer…………..:)’.

Google Reader has helped me tremendously on organizing where I’ve been. I really do try to go by the places who have been by mine. I will probably do that as long as I can.

Like you, some people might not appreciate the humor I bring so I might say something inappropriate trying to be funny. It’s the only way I know however.

Good to see you and hope you are having a great 4th; thanks for the comments.

I love when people write posts like this Bill. I wrote one about people not caring about your brand via social networks because of all the idiots touting brand pages and twitter handles as the road to a billion dollars, when in actuality the data shows the lie. Sometimes tough love is good. And I love when people get all worked up in the wrong forms of social network etiquette. Usually when someone get’s exasperated with a few occurrences in a short period it is time to vent. And vent you did without naming names.

Yeah, you sack; I’ve been following you for 3 months and you don’t even know I’m there. Did you see me whining about that? Hell no, but I do have it in draft in case you piss me off about something else. I do have a low tolerance level obviously………

Good to see you buddy and I do appreciate you and all you bring to the party.

Tough love is good, sometimes it has to be accentuated w/ a 2 X 4 to get my attention however. I’m not smart like that…………..:)

I do care who stops by and I know how fickle this can be so I don’t want someone to think ‘man, that Dorman was an asshole; I went by his place 3 times and he didn’t even acknowledge me’. As much as people come and go, you still know who shows up and who doesn’t………….and you see them everywhere else but your place, just makes you go ‘hmmmm’ at times. But I’ll go get my big boy pants and stop the whining…..

I TOTALLY agree with Gini Bill..”stop feeling guilty for not doing the things you think everyone else expects.” When I start running an ad campaign I soon find I don’t have enough hours in the day to visit the blogs I enjoy and leaving my comments. At first I started feeling really bad about it but I think that my blogging community knows, as we all do, that we are all busy people and we are just doing the best we can. So we miss a post or two, we still love ya. We’ll be back, I promise.

As for your Twitter experience, I say invite everyone to stop by and chat and you’ll do your best to visit them too. That’s all we can do right!

I remember seeing you all over the place every time I would visit someone’s blog and I admit, I was a little intimidated. I too get the impression a lot of times that certain people are just in this “click” and maybe you don’t want some of us hording in on your territory. But I decided to hop over to your place anyway and after reading one of your posts I realized you are just a regular guy like the rest of us just enjoying your time here online and you’ve made some great friends. You’ve shown me nothing but kindness and I really appreciate it. I’m glad I took that plunge and gave you a visit. I think you are a wonderful guy and everyone should be so honored to have you among their blogging friends.

With that being said, I’m signing off. As always, I enjoy visiting your place and hearing what you have to say. Now, get off this computer and go spend some time with your family. Have a great day!

Well everyone already said everything I was going to say 😮 except this – it’s a live-and-learn thing. I try not to be too hard on myself, doing the best I can and if I do that for me, I certainly do it for you! You’re (OK, everyone already said THIS) doing an awesome job Bill!
Lori
P.S. I often forget to Tweet out a post after I comment and then I have to go back in and find it again! Just like I nearly did here!

I know, you think ‘I just commented, gotta go’…………I do want to support my friends any way I can. If I have to take a moment to hit a button, I think I can certainly do that.

Definitely live and learn. My post was actually more of an attempt at humor but I did have a few things I wanted to tie into it. People in this arena are pretty tolerant and can tell when you are making the effort.

Thanks for the very kind words of support and encouragement. I really do want people to feel welcome at my place and hopefully walk away with something of value; whether it be from my post or the comments.

Thanks for your support and taking the time to stop by; good to see you.

Well, I certainly DON’T feel left out by you! I’ve mentioned before that I was surprised and happy that you checked in on me when I was MIA for a week and a half. I know that you go above and beyond for your readers, but you still need a life of your own, ya know?

Hey Alicia, good to see you today. I hope you have had a good 4th of July weekend and of course since you work from home, tomorrow will probably look like today, huh?

There have been a few people who were around early but no longer stop by; I want to ask them ‘what happened’? Now they might say, ‘you sounded like everyone else so I moved on’. Would you want to hear that? I think I could handle it, at least I would know.

I think some just do ‘A’ list hopping and that’s ok, because that is where most of the action is. However, when I see the content is very similar to mine on all levels I wonder if they are there for content or visibility. Nothing wrong with either, it just makes me wonder.

Hi Bill, you had me at “FSU Grad”! I find it a challenge to keep up with the social media rapids, and I agreed with a lot of your points. I do like connecting and nothing makes me happier than waking up to blog comments! But I don’t think it’s a “tit for tat” thing – I read a lot of great things that I simply do not have time to comment on right then and unfortunately don’t get back around to. Anyway, nice to meet you!

Yay, you might be my first commentor referencing our Noles. Of course, my community is somewhat global (which is kind of cool) but they might not even know what a Nole is.

Social media rapids or like trying to drink from a fire hose, huh? I do like the comments and it’s like getting mail or ‘you’ve got mail’.

When I finally figured out twitter and the engagement AND blogs; I did the blog just because I thought that was part of it. I didn’t really have an agenda and I’m being totally honest when I tell you, I didn’t expect anybody to stop by. Hence the Invisible Blogger moniker. Guess what? People started showing up so I had to get a little more structured. I’ve enjoyed it however.

So nice of you to stop by and commenting; wherever you are in your journey I hope it has been enjoyable for you. I also hope you have had a great 4th of July weekend.

Bill, I have to say I knew this was a joke. 100+ comments per post, you probably wish some of us would go away so you wouldn’t have to spend so much time replying to our ponderings. But you’re stuck with me, I’m a loyal fan. I’m even going to follow you to your new site, regardless of whether you post a link here or not.

WordPress.org just updated today with 3.4, the Gershwin update. I think they’re ready for you now.

BTW, I’m thinking with a 10 to 1 ratio of readers to commenters, you’re in the four figures for readers of each post. Well done.

Thanks for all your support of my blog. You deserve every reader (stalker) you get! Even Howie. 🙂

Parts of it was certainly me trying to be humorous; but there were parts of me trying to make a point.

Ultimately, I want to make sure I support my friends in a way that doesn’t seem contrived. I also want to make sure they know I appreciate them stopping by. I never really expected the traffic I got, but I’m glad it’s here and I want to make sure I’m acting appropriately.

I do appreciate the support and need to start moving forward with the site.

I hear what you are saying and if anyone should know it would certainly be you; you have been at this long enough to have seen just about everything.

I guess I’m trying to be polite and nice but not be so naive and start feeling more comfortable in acting like I’ve been here before. If I would quit opening my mouth it might not be so obvious, huh?

I truly didn’t expect this kind of traffic but I do like the engagement. I have been able to hang out just about anywhere I have wanted to and probably have been treated better than I deserve at times.

It’s certainly nice to be liked and the moral of this is; just be yourself and everything else will work out.

That’s all you can do, mate – be yourself. People will either get it, or not. Those that don’t, it’s no big deal (and I say that in a respectful way, not a dismissive one). You probably weren’t a good fit, so it’s better they find one elsewhere.

Those that get you, though? That’s your strength and community right there – which it looks like you don’t need a hand with that at all, sir! 🙂

Now drunk might have been a strong description, but I did have a cold one or two and cooked on the grill; but then we had some showers come in a put a damper on the fireworks. All in all though, it was a good time.

Yes, we just like you that’s why were here. If there’s a suspicion that some are in here for other reasons, let them blog about it. LOL! I bet the title would be, “That Guy Just Got A Million Comfort Hugs Even When He’s Been Thrown Out: A Guide On Throwing Out Your Only Chance At Genuine Online Friendships.” LOL!. Sorry, all these 27 people who commented and you, Bill, just got me ROFL-ing nonstop. Hah. Who’s to blame now! LOL! Oh, enough of that!

Hey, comfort hugs are good; what a novel idea, maybe I’ll do more posts like this.

Actually, this was supposed to be a tongue in cheek post and I was just curious why my post lost it’s allure to the ones who used to come by but I still see them everywhere else. If you suck, you suck, huh? Maybe it was better they didn’t tell me……………I’m sensitive like that………..

Thanks for stopping by; I couldn’t tell if you tickled yourself or this post had anything to do with it, but glad you found humor.

Well, well. Let them be. Sometimes the new things are more attractive so they found themselves in other sites. But don’t worry, at least the ones that are having a swell time with you. And yes, your posts, too.

And maybe, if I may speak in their behalf (or is it behalves since they’re more than one? LOL!) you’re entitled to rock on without them. You’re rockin’ good so let’s let them be. Meanwhile, you’ve got tried-and-tested peeps in here, commenting and all that. The ones who are likely to drag you back inside. Wanna bet on this?

Absolutely, it’s not going to be a fit for everyone and it’s my party so I should do what I want, right? Even if it is somewhat awkward because maybe those bicycle shorts were just a little too tight, huh?

Precarious world huh? So fickle yet so tight … I’m still figuring it out … I can’t see how you’ve been thrown out! I’m envious of the following and love you get … I guess boobies and babes are great keywords but I’m not using them right … will be stalking you from here on to see what pearls of wisdom I can glean!
Hope you had a great weekend and July 4th Bill!

Boobies and babies; I think if you phrase it like ‘hey baby, look at these boobies’ your traffic might pick up. Of course, it will probably take you out of your target audience. But once all the guys show up and see everyone talking mommy talk you might get a ‘hey now’……….

I hate to keep acting like a rookie and at some point I guess I need to act like I’ve been here before but I have to tell you, it still astonishes me to see all the people that show up.

My post was more of a spoof but in a round about way asking the question of “where did you go, because I see you at everyone else’s house’? And if you left because I did something wrong I was just apologizing; if you left because my stuff was no good, then I don’t really have an excuse.

I’m having fun; I just think too much and wonder why this or that is going on and just need to worry about myself and nothing else.

We did have a good 4th and ready to start the 2nd half of this year. Hope you guys had a great weekend as well; thanks for stopping by.

You must be doing something right, you have more comments than me! I am getting more though and my SEO has improved. I’m just coming up to my 100th post on WordPress and quite pleased with the way it’s going, so I might move to self hosted soon. I think the quality of a comment is important, poor ones don’t get past the spam filter. It also shows that you are really interested in the blog and the person who wrote it rather than hoping people will visit you blog because you left a link. I keep reading that I should comment on other people’s blogs and get traffic from it. I don’t seem to get any traffic from commenting on blogs but I do get ideas from reading them and a comment isn’t much to do after reading a blog.

Hey Mike, thanks for stopping by and giving me your thoughts. I might be going at this backwards but when I jumped into this I really had no plan (and I still don’t for all practical purposes).

I started the blog because I thought it was necessary to comment on other blogs. I would say the only traffic I get is through that for the most part. I have never tried to write or link myself to anything to increase SEO and maybe that is something I should give more thought to. I just write, post and see what happens.

I say that, because it is what worked for me. I went in, engaged, and established a relationship. It does take time, but that is the only model I know.

Good luck on your journey and certainly wish you much success. Good to see you.

I have been there and done that. We are human and we all make mistakes. Your biggest one was ignoring me because of my race. How dare you? I know you were blocking my comments. 🙂

Blogging requires a lot of time and you can’t do everything no matter how much we try. So when you don’t show up on my site, I hold it against you but then life goes on. lol! You have done a great job managing your community and it shows in your social activity. Keep doing your best and good things will happen or you will burn out and spend more time crying that breathing. 🙂

Yeah, you made the mistake of being part of the human race and so only alien Howie’s comments were getting through. BTW, you didn’t tell me you were not green…….:)

If you get a chance, go back up the stream and see Wendy Keneipp’s reply; I think I allowed myself to lose focus of what this was all about. I got more hung up on seeing who was where and mentally keeping a tally. Shame, shame on me for I have sinned (but not in a biblical way in case you were wondering…………..:).

Whereas, the post was made partially in jest; there were some jabs in there as well.

The lesson learned and stated so well in Danny Brown’s reply is: just be yourself and don’t worry about all the noise. That’s all we can do brother, is be true to ourselves.

Good to see you back and don’t worry, I’m not keeping tabs……………..anymore. I do appreciate you and hope you have a fantastic day.

Oh, my. What planet did you escape from? In every humor there is truth. Someone made you feel poorly, and shame on them. You always support me and what I say, never mind you may not get the PR speak all the time. You’ve worked hard to comment all over (can’t believe you beat out Davina at Griddy’s — where is she anyway?) and earn rapport.

Oh, and BTW? Have you been blogging a year yet? No? Right. Enough said. This is the right journey; you need to feel it all to set your course. Go, Man. Go.

Mars I think, but they kicked me off there too for being such a whiner. Maybe now I will actually write something and quit talking about myself and social media. It’s a wonder I have anybody stop by at all………………:)

I just have questions at times and usually by the time I verbalize them and get them into print it just shows how naive I am about all this anyway. I’m supposed to be the grizzled veteran by now, huh? I think I liked it better when I could get away with being a knucklehead.

I think this might be a slower week as some people actually unplugged and went on vacation. I’m hoping to go down to the Keys toward the end of July and 1st of Aug.

Thanks for coming by and saying nice things when I probably just need a swift kick in the butt. I do appreciate you and hope you have a great week.

Bill – in my opinion you’ve been THE EXAMPLE of a successful rookie blogger. In your short time in this game, you’ve probably invested more time than I have in my entire year of blogging. So I think you owe no one an apology. One may quickly forget that you’ve only been in the game for a few months because the accomplishment in growing your site and building a network.

I don’t know your schedule, but I can only imagine that you don’t have the bandwidth to live online. So with that being the case – especially considering how long you’ve been in the game – you’re the best Bill! I mean that and have had conversations with other bloggers on skype and over the phone speaking on the same facts about you. You’re great man!

I really appreciate that JK; I think I lost sight of what was important and Wendy’s comment above really brought it home. I want to appreciate you just as you are; I don’t want any caveats ‘if you would only do this, or only do that’. We are all out here scrapping, trying to find our own way and I just need to be very appreciative of what I do have.

The post was somewhat in jest and I was trying to interject some humor; but some of my astute friends saw where I was headed. And of course being the friends they are, there was no hesitation to call me out………..and rightfully so.

It’s kind of like signing out of high school, huh? I might look all grown up but I sure can make some rookie mistakes.

I hope you and the family had a great weekend and enjoyed the 4th. So good to see you and I really appreciate the support. Talk to you soon.

Waaaaah… feel better cry-baby? Totally kidding of course, wanted to be funny but don’t think anything will top Howie’s comments (hilarity). The beauty is that it is opt-in and therefore, opt out. I like my community fine, and if some one wants to vote me off the island, so be it. Doesn’t have to be permanent, can just be temporary as we’re all busy with work and lives; or if someone changes their tune, there’s always the unfollow button. I’m trying to make a little effort if not to scale back completely, really mix things up a bit so it’s not all inside jokes and quid pro quo. (And yet.. that’s why I don’t ask for many guest posts.. I know I don’t have the time to return the favor.) BTW the magnificent bastard link = funny. FWIW.

You weren’t kidding, but I consider you a close enough friend that you can call me out when necessary. Please feel free to protect me from myself at any time. Howie has that status too and we all know he won’t hesitate to let someone have it. I’m ok with that, my IRL friends give it to me all the time.

Wendy’s comment above really set me straight. I’ve always said reciprocation was not necessary. So I need to walk the walk regardless of what anyone else is doing or who they are talking to.

On one hand I’m content w/ laying low, but then on the other I have that ‘hey, look at me too’ feeling at times which is not good. I better be careful what I ask for, huh?

There were some good comments from Danny, Howie, Gini and especially Wendy and I will heed their advice. I think Gini has this douchebag alert back at her office and just about every time I have come really close to stepping on it bad, she seems to appear w/ life preserver in hand………………uncanny………….

I really do have some pretty cool friends so I guess I better just straighten up and behave.

So good to see you today ma’am; hope you have a great 4th. I’m sure I will see you out and about some during the week. Talk to you soon.

Dude I really was kidding (ok, maybe 96.4%) but now, totally 100% not joking: IMO you ARE walking the talk! I’ve got that “hey, look at me!” thing too Bill, it’s human nature and not necessarily bad. You’re a good blogger and share some good stuff, along with writing quality – and often LOL – comments; seriously you’re finding your way better than just fine. Not only have you managed to do this well, you’ve done it the Bill Dorman way. So 1) no apologies and 2) thank you. 🙂

Hey Mr D..you know what..After taking my month ” get my sh&T” together hiatus” I have noticed a real difference in the way I interact online, the way others interact with me, and a slight decline the the amount of time and energy I put into maintaining the connections that I’ve made. Bali is full of a lot more distractions that my kitchen table office, lol

It’s funny..in the real world..you can have friend who you see twice a year and it’s as if no times past..but in the SM world..continuity, reciprocity and regularity are all important.
I think when we get started blogging we can be incredibly gung-ho and the whole ride becomes all consuming, but as we mature into it..we take a more laid back approach, form our tribes, discover whose house is the most welcoming and fun..and often just keep going back there. I know..my point is not totally on topic as such..but after reading your post..these where my thoughts.

When you get started it feels like you are trying to do so much and if you miss just a moment of time you will lose all you have gained. Right before our Memorial Day (end of May) I was out of the loop for a few days at a time on more than one occasion. It did let me calm down and now I have a much more relaxed, realistic approach. If I can get to it I will, if not; then it will just have to wait.

There is definitely a maturing process and we are no longer like the excitable puppy, huh? It seems it didn’t take us long to become veterans, even though I’m still prone to make a rookie mistake or two.

Glad to hear Bali is going well and hopefully you will have the opportunity to grow some roots there.

Here I am, late to the party…again. That’s what I get for turning my laptop off for 2 1/2 days. 😉 Hope you had a fab holiday weekend.

In this crazy blogging world, there’s one thing I always look forward to: reading a comment from Bill–not just on my blog, but anywhere else. I think you’re proving to everyone that it’s totally cool (and fun) to join the conversation, and then keep it going. (That’s something I need to work on.) Plus, you took the time to comment on all 3 parts of my academic-style mega post. For that I am utterly appreciative.

Good for you being able to shut it down; I did about 1/2 of what I normally do and it helped it was a slow weekend. However, I am getting much better shutting it off.

We are all at different comfort levels along this journey and I want to extend courtesy and help to others who are still trying to figure this all out. I just want people to know I do see them and hopefully I am acknowledging them as well.

I liked your 3 part series; it was very well written and put together, very informative.

From what I can tell, Nancy, you are definitely not outside the door. I see your tweets and comments all over the blogosphere. And as for your blog…all I can say is, sometimes it’s just a matter of not yet having visited the neighbourhood. I’m coming to yours now…after all, a tracksuit and a Louisville slugger are strong motivation:) Cheers! Kaarina

In your case, you are definitely in with the cool crowd; trust me on that one. However, your site is probably the flip of mine. You actually write about real stuff and I think you have more people who come by and read but don’t comment for whatever reason.

I’m the type of person that will comment on just about anything, regardless of what you are saying. If you recall and I’ve told you this before, I stumbled across either your first or second post and commented on it. You have to remember I was coming from the nice and polite social world where everybody was laughing and having a good time; and then I read yours and said ‘who is this, man this was powerful’. It rolled my socks down, but I loved the emotion; it was real.

Even today I had to go back to a couple of sites because I forgot to RT and I’m pretty sure I forgot to do yours as well (so I’ll go back………..:).

Wendy had a good reply above; I just need to love you just as you are w/out any silly strings or rules attached to it. I thought that was a pretty good guide to follow.

Seriously, keep doing what you’re doing. As long as your efforts are providing the results you want, then you’re doing it just right. That’s the great thing, there are no rules to this blog thing. I think these online “relationships” are more like those in real life than we think. The very best ones aren’t high maintenance and don’t need constant button pushing. If respect and support of one another is something done out of obligation, then it won’t be sustainable. It has to be earned.

Engage in the conversation when you find the topic interesting and tell me when you agree/disagree me. In my humble opinion, I think as long as you are doing that, you are holding up your end of the bargain. And you, more than anyone I know, excel at that.

So, feel free to pick up food with your fingers, wipe your mouth on your sleeve, or burp out loud if you have to. Just don’t let others ruin your fun!

Hey Kevin, your partner in crime Wendy stated it very well and provided a reality check. If maintaining relationships becomes heavy lifting and there are all these strings attached, then what’s the point, right?

I guess I’m one to just dive in a conversation regardless of the topic and some people are either not comfortable doing so or prefer not to comment on that topic.

Even though I have been able to gain some traction pretty quickly I am still very prone to rookie mistakes.

It’s my house and I’ll eat like I want too, huh?

Thanks for stopping by, appreciate it Kevin. Hope all is well in BGN world.

By giving something of your thoughts, you are already making a connection with others. Nobody’s perfect but at least you are doing your best in reaching out with others, and I believe that counts a lot. 🙂

Hi Bill, I am guilty as charged! I meant to add a comment to this fine post when it dropped in to my inbox but to my eternal shame I have dithered as usual and in the meantime you have been over to my place to leave a pithy comment on a post I did yesterday!

I know it’s weak but I am using Google+ as my excuse, you know what we are like with our new toys.

So I feel the same way as you so admirably describe, not enough hours in the day and not well organised enough to keep on top of everything so I sometimes must disappoint people with my lack of courtesy.

You seem to be doing just fine to me, you do have a great community here and as so many of them have already said so eloquently you can’t be everywhere all the time and no one expects you to be. We all just have to do our best and people understand that.

Thanks for another thoughtful post Bill, now all I have to do is make sure I get in first on your next post!!

It’s funny when you put out these posts the feedback you get usually puts things in perspective as this one certainly did for me. I do have a great community and just need to be thankful for that. There will always be give and take and most of us know each other well enough that we know where to find each other, even if we can’t be there every day.

I’m afraid if I’m not whining about something I will run out of things to write about……:)

I have definitely seen a lot of posts about Google +, I’m curious to see what the final verdict will be.

I do appreciate your time and support, it is always good to see you. I hope your day has gone well; talk to you soon.

Hey Bill, are you sure you’re not being a bit hard on yourself? I see your name all over the comment sections of other blogs, you are definitely out there and reaching out, from what I can tell. Also, you have over 90 comments on this post – that is a lot of discussion going on. Presumably, you are pretty busy guy, so it would be hard for any of us to expect you to be able to stay in touch with everyone that reaches your site.

This is a very thoughtful, modest, and down-to-earth post. I really enjoyed reading it, and even though I don’t come to this site too often, I feel like I know you better already.

Heya Steven, thanks for taking the time to stop by. It does sound a little silly considering the great group of friends that I have. It was meant to be somewhat tongue in cheek, but I still was able to make a point; albeit, I’m still prone to rookie mistakes.

Yes, you are right there is only so much time in the day so you can’t be everywhere. I do try to get out and about but trying to do it in a meaningful way and leaving an impression on those I touch.

I appreciate your kind words and glad you found your way here and commented. I think you will see most of the comments are ‘just be yourself, and everything else will take care of itself’. Hopefully, I can stay true to that………….

Well Bill, it’s obvious you’ve engaged in so many social media faux pas that you’ve alienated everyone you know. I think the 92 comments on this post pretty much attest to that. Seriously bud, if you’re doing this blogging/SM thing wrong… then heaven help the rest of us.

There is no way to hit everyone on every media. For one thing, the longer you do this, the more people get added to the list. Also, though I am a relative newbie still, I will say that anyone who expects 100% reciprocity from SM doesn’t get it.

It was somewhat tongue in cheek but it did appear to come off a little weak. Wendy Keneipp made some good points and as we grow in this crazy world it truly has to be without strings. The only expectations should be common courtesy, be yourself and just do the best you can.

Even though I have been around enough to be seen, I am certainly prone to still being a knucklehead at times.

It has been fun and you never know what I might post………….:)

Hope you had some good time off and good to see you back. Hope you have a great week.

The funny thing is Bill, I actually think you’re one of the better ones in leaving comments, and replying to people on Twitter. You do a great job, and I’m sure you have other things in my life which press on your time, so I respect you for that.

Here’s my take – I used to have the same sentiments as you did. I used to try and get to everyone, comment on 20 blogs a day, keep in touch with everyone I came across. Then, the more people I met and the more my site grew, it became harder and harder. I struggled at first, but then I realised something:

It’s OK.

It’s OK to not comment on a blog ever again – if they want you to comment, they’d ask you. It’s OK not to be on Twitter or Facebook all the time. It’s OK not to offer a hand if you forget, you’re only human. It’s OK not to be there for everyone, and not to be perfect.

Chill out and enjoy the ride Bill, you’re never gonna have as much time as you want 🙂

Judging from the comments and conversations that I had to wade through, I can say you and what you are saying here matters a WHOLE lot. It looks like I am way late in joining your party. Well, as Griddy said, there are benefits to being late and the witty remarks and comebacks you get to read are among them. 🙂

You are one cool guy with a huge heart, Bill. As Stuart said, it is okay if you can’t be there for everyone. You can’t be everyone’s SuperSocialMan. For me though, you are the BESTEST there is (I am using that non-word for you). You made me feel welcome the moment I stepped into the blogosphere. You offered me sound advice and encouraged me by being part of the little noise I have over in my blog.

I may not be everyone. I am just part of a huge mass of people who follow you and gobble up everything you have to offer. But, I am here to tell you that I will never throw you out, NEVER.

This post actually reminds me of what I’m experiencing right now. I’m at a public library on a rather isolated island in Norway. I’m on vacation, and I will be for more than four weeks. I’m living in a tent, without access to electricity (without access to water, I have to walk 30 minutes to get water). There are no internet connection, and I’m having the time of my life… but I’m kind of struggling to keep in touch with “everyone” 🙂

Your my first visit since arriving on this island. That’s a huge compliment 🙂

I liked the post and I too feel like I don’t do a good job of checking out everyone’s blog. It becomes harder and harder each day.

I’ve only had a guest post once (Actually a series of 6) and I still did my daily posts. It was a favor for a friend who had survived the NZ earthquakes. Of course, I have a very small following on my blog, so there would be little advantage to anyone guest posting. I still feel like it is something that people sometimes do, but it should be expected that every blog have guest posts.

I write a few guest posts per month, in addition to the daily posts for my blog, and usually I give the best one’s away, but if anyone ever tells me they don’t want my post, I will gladly use it on my site. I simply offer up my post and if they like it, they will run it, but I certainly don’t expect them to run it.

Thanks Brian, I appreciate you comments and kind words about the blog.

Right now I have kept it pretty simple and just post once a week. I probably should start thinking about doing a little bit more than that and reach out to others as well.

I’m guessing you can crank out material pretty easy and I might could do a better job if I devoted more time to writing than commenting. But I also feel my commenting is a big reason for my traffic. I’m sure I will find that right balance in there somewhere.

Hope your day is going well; really like your photographs. Catch up w/ you soon.

Hi Bill,
I don’t think there is a rule that if you comment, you have to tweet. In fact there are no rules at all. Some high traffic bloggers can’t possibly answer all the comments. Some bloggers even kill their commenting section. I guess It’s traffic related and you are a family man. It’s all good. Be selective. (except my blog, ha,ha)
Blog on.
Derek

Bill, if you apologize for anything, it should be for taking up my last 20 minutes with all these great comments, thus killing my ‘productivity’ 😉 . People really respond to you man because you’re ‘one of the good guys’. So a job well done my friend. You should be very pleased with how far you’ve come in such a short period of time.

Just about the time I open my mouth and put it in print, it just shows how naive I can be about all this at times. I know this is crazy traffic and I have great support; I should be sending everyone personal thank you notes instead of complaining about anything.

Thanks for your thoughts and it certainly looks like you still have things headed in the direction you envisioned for yourself. Best of luck on your journey.

And you are right, I am very pleased and thankful for what I have……………period. No if, and, or buts………………

Bill I can’t hear you speak, but based off your reading, I would guess your voice is a combination of Jesus and Fergie. I imagine you are an outspoken leader in some far away remote village, guiding your people to the everlasting hope & joy you provide.

Cool post, mate! And the conversations that come after it, awesome! If I had known writing a “been thrown out” post would get me this much notice, I would have written it a long time ago. 😀

Seriously, Bill. I still wouldn’t have matched what you did here, because we are on a different level altogether. Your being social is way beyond what I can ever do. I may even feel some guilt there when I am snowed under with so much work and I can’t do as much blog hopping and commenting as I did before.

But, I am glad I visited today. I had fun here. You always offer something of value for all of us.

Good to see you Wes and I’m thinking being snowed under with work is a good thing.

It was intended to be a tongue in cheek article but it did allow me to make a point or two. However, it just showed how naive I can really be in this arena still. Fortunately I have some good friends who allow me to be silly at times…………..:)

I appreciate you taking the time to stop by and I’ll catch up w/ you later.