Bill Burr brings comedy heat to Just for Laughs

Sure, most awards competitions are a joke, little more than popularity contests. However, few will dispute the fact that Bill Burr more than merits Just for Laughs’ 2014 Standup Performer of the Year Award.

The Boston-born motormouth put on, without question, two of the most hysterical yet edgy shows of the year at the Metropolis in the dead of winter — when we really needed the laughs. Burr had crowds convulsing, taking no prisoners in taking on everything from Duck Dynasty to Scientology, ghosts to rom-coms.

With the exception of Louis C.K. — a previous and also much-merited recipient of a Just for Laughs comedy award — there may be no better standup spewing on this or any other continent. And like Louis C.K., few are as adept at changing their acts. Burr’s material is constantly evolving. An hour-long Burr set changes even from week to week.

The good news is that Burr will be back in town in July to collect his trophy at the festival and to deliver, what he calls, “the most ridiculous” acceptance speech he can put together. “Really, how can one be serious in picking up an award?” Burr asks during a phone interview.

But the better news is that, although he is as yet unslated to perform at the fest, he pledges to pop up at a venue or two and to deliver some bon mots.

Oh yeah, Burr also pledges to blare out the Canadian national anthem at some point while in the city. This, in honour of the Habs beating the Bruins in the playoffs.

Burr may be close to the perfect comedian, save for his unwavering love for his hometown Bruins. He even booked a show here last March, to allow him to catch a game between the Bruins and Habs while in town.

When informed that the Habs taking the Bruins in the playoffs was, for many Montrealers, akin to winning a mini-Stanley Cup, Burr takes that as a compliment. “We used to be a joke. We could never beat you guys. But now you just beating us in the second round is like taking the Cup. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” he blurts with much sarcasm.

Clearly, the win hasn’t enhanced his love for the Habs. “Like I ever loved them before? But you can’t not respect them. I don’t hate the players like I did when I was young and immature. I love the rivalry. I thought you guys really deserved it. We let you guys get in our heads when we had you. But then we sprayed water in P.K.’s face. That was stupid. Lucic let you guys get in his head a little too much. But I still love those guys.”

No stopping the Burr train now. “But I’m not going to boo Patrick Roy out of town like you guys did. You’re still living under that curse, by the way.”

But Burr is prudent enough not to wear a Bruins jersey when taking in a game at the Bell Centre. “I’m 46 years old. I don’t go into the opposing team’s arena wearing Bruins colours like I’m in their gang. Like the Bruins are going to cover my hospital bill when I get the s--- kicked out of me.”

Burr played pond hockey growing up in Boston. But since moving to L.A., he suits up only sporadically. The last time he played was on tour in Canada in the winter, when he got ice time in Montreal, Ottawa and Moncton. “Though they offered me equipment, I brought my own. I wasn’t going to play in someone else’s sweaty stuff.”

Wild hunch. Burr is a scrappy player? Uh-huh. “I’m only 5-foot 10, so if I was a pro, I’d be like Ken Linseman.” That would be Ken “Rat” Linseman, ex of the rough-and-tumble Philadelphia Flyers and Bruins, among other teams.

“When it would come down to a fight, I’d do like the Rat: bend down and slap my stick across the knees of the other guy. I loved that guy. He would get the other team all riled up.”

Burr, too, loves to rile up a crowd. But he prefers words over sticks as a weapon. “I have a temper, too.” True. But that temper has proved to be comedy gold.

Pretty much everything that comes out of Burr’s mouth these days leaves audiences howling. It seems almost effortless. “I’ve been doing this a long time, some 22 years. It’s like driving a car. The first time you drove and tried to find a radio station, you almost drove the car off the road, because you had to take your eyes off the wheel. But after you drive for a while, you’re steering with your knees while texting and eating a burger.”

Interesting analogy. But what else would one expect from Burr? His mantra: “None of my opinions are based on any sort of reliable information ... because reading makes me sleepy.”

Regardless, Burr can do no wrong these days. His third comedy — rant — special, You People Are All the Same was a hit, and a fourth is soon to come to Netflix.

Plus, he’s making waves on the big screen: He has appeared with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in The Heat, with Elizabeth Banks in Walk of Shame, and with Kevin Costner in Black and White. And lest we forget, he also distinguished himself in the hit series Breaking Bad as a cop-turned-hood.

All the same, Burr doesn’t feel like he’s hit his stride just yet. “I have a long, long way to go. I have a lot of goals and ideas that I want to achieve as a comic.”

And he has new obsessions these days, which could bring him closer to his goal. Such as Hillary Clinton running for president.

“The talk is more about getting a woman in the job rather than if a person is qualified for the job,” he explains.

“She went from the wife of a president to being a senator to (possibly) running for president.” Pause. “Should Tom Brady’s wife be able to be the quarterback for the Rams? Should she be expected to throw a perfect spiral because she’s married to this guy? Look, I would feel the same way if there was a female president and the first guy all of a sudden wanted to be a senator and run for president.

“I remember when Hillary wanted to run for senator in New York and she showed up wearing a Yankees hat and saying she was always a fan. Really? The Yankees won four World Series when she was in the White House and she never showed up when they came to the White House or said anything about the team.”

But don’t beat about the bush, Bill. Tell us how you really feel. “Yeah, I know. I’ve got that problem. I know the boundaries to stay within, but they just may be further than they are for most people.”

But that’s what makes a standup stand out: making a stand. “Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time and that of others,” he says.

Burr actually claims to be in a state of bliss these days. “Yeah, I’m learning to be a happily married man. I’ve learned that you have to treat your woman like a rescue dog. You have to keep her calm, because you have no idea what’s going to set her off, because you don’t know her background.”

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