Every Monday we bring you the best of the SEC coaches' press conferences, including all the wit, wisdom and whining from the podiums. In this week's edition, find out who's a conspiracy theorist and get your weekly dose of Nick Saban's face.

Jonesin' for the future

Tennessee's Butch Jones doesn't seem at all disappointed with his team's 4-6 record, despite it leaving the Vols' hopes of bowl eligibility on life support heading into Saturday's tough in-state showdown against Vanderbilt.

"Sometimes progress isn't measured in wins," Jones said during today's press conference in response to a reporter who asked if reaching a bowl game would be a monumental accomplishment (see the exchange around 13:30 into the video below).

"We've taken monumental strides," he said. "I see the strides and I'm encouraged and I'm as optimistic as I've ever been."

Jones went on to say (at around the 16:50 mark) that it's "superficial" to measure success by whether or not the team reaches a bowl game this year.

But (surprise!), he finally admitted (at the 18-minute mark), "Yeah, a bowl game is one of our goals." (via UT Sports)

Stoops, too

Kentucky's Mark Stoops was unabashedly "frustrated" last week, and it continues to be a recurring theme as the Wildcats remain winless in the SEC.

If you want to check out his liberal use of the F-word in the below video from today's press conference, here's your handy guide:

At the 4:20 mark: "Nobody's more frustrated than us."

At 6:00: "We get frustrated about wins and losses."

At 16:50: "I'm like a broken record; it's tough and I'm frustrated sometimes."

Right at the end of the video he notes that the entire coaching staff -- himself included -- shares accountability for the losses.

But, Stoops is optimistic for the future, saying that he feels good about the 2014 and 2015 recruiting classes. "We're gonna win," he says at the eight-minute mark. "I can't tell you when. I hope it's this week." (via UK Athletics)

The Great Jordan Matthews Conspiracy

Vanderbilt wide receiver Jordan Matthews (87) is pushed out-of-bounds by Kentucky safety Glenn Faulkner (18) in the fourth quarter of an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Nov. 16, 2013, in Nashville, Tenn. Matthews gained 28 yards on the play. Vanderbilt won 22-6. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

The first thing you might notice about Vanderbilt coach James Franklin's press conference this week is he opened with a great big smile; we hadn't seen that yet. "We're really excited about being 1-0 last week," he said, before settling into business.

In response to a reporter's question (at around the six-minute mark of the video below), Franklin said that the in-state game against Tennessee this week is good for college football and the SEC, but he's not ready to call it a rivalry game yet. He and Vols coach Butch Jones get along and have a mutual respect (you can see that throughout the two coaches' press conferences).

With respect to recruiting (about 8:30 in), Franklin said that the Commodores recruit against everybody, not just in-state against Tennessee and against fellow SEC teams like Ole Miss.

The most colorful moment of Franklin's press conference, though, came 16 minutes in when a reporter asked him why it took so long for the SEC to recognize wide receiver Jordan Matthews as Offensive Player of the Week. His response:

I think it's a conspiracy. At a very, very deep level. At a very high level. (via Vanderbilt Athletics)

Nick Saban facial expression of the week

Yes, Nick, you can use the restroom. Just remember to knock first. (Photo by Vasha Hunt, AL.com)