Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some of you are getting mighty quiet out there!! Are you hiding, sitting in the corner? Thinking I can't see you reveling in a pseudo ASS (Accidentally Started to Sit) moment?? Well don't forget standing gives one a wider range of sight!

Yesterday I sat for 2 1/2 hours, and stood for 10! It's actually getting easier! I don't even really think about sitting, or even desire a SQUATS (Sitting QUalifies As Technically Standing) morning! The black gold-toe socks and squishy sandals are doing the trick in keeping the pain tolerable, as is the constant shifting and stretching, which of course helps me burn even MORE calories!!! With a tiny extra push today, I will have stood 40 hours for the work week! And I am NOT about to stop here just because it's Friday!!

Yes, the weekend is coming up...this is a big big biggie folks. We have not done a weekend yet. This just might separate the Standers from the Sitters. Time to dig deep...

Because as we all know, the weekend is when most of us want to kick back, relax, and not worry about the stresses and demands of the week, including this silly standing challenge. But!! I challenge you all further this weekend not to CRASH!

CRASH??

CRASH: Create Rational Arguments that Sitting is Healthy.

That's right people! Don't CRASH with an ASS you claim is really a POST when you, at the very least, should be POTSing or implementing SQUATS!

There is no truth to CRASHing people. No matter how you spin it, a CRASH is just a fancy POST full of ASSes.

(This whole acronym thing is getting harder...I hope you all are appreciating this effort I am putting forth. If you're getting lost in the acronyms, click on Skeletor in my right side-bar to catch up. At some point I can't keep repeating the acronym meanings, like Rachael Ray; she always says EVOO and then follows up with Extra Virgin Olive Oil...doesn't the whole world know this by now???)

And so to motivate you all, I have linked some sites, touting the benefits of standing, and I will highlight the extra special motivating words from each article. So when you feel an ASS coming on, or better yet, several POST moments in succession, remember the words in red.

Benefits of Standing versus Sitting:

Science DailyThis article cuts right to the chase. It says that if you are sitting, you shut off a fat-absorbing enzyme called lipase, "lipase...which prompts the body to process fat and cholesterol, independent of the amount of time spent exercising". So y'all, if you're sitting right now, no lipase is flowing through your body! THE MERE ACT OF STANDING TRIGGERS A FAT BURNING ENZYME! SORRY BILLY BLANKS, I DON'T NEED YOUR FAT-BLASTING WORKOUT ANYMORE!

Patrick McCrann's Blog:This article clearly explains why my hip is always hurting! Now I get it!!! The article points out the benefits of standing, stating that the "...physical benefit is for your hips and your glutes. Spending most of your day sitting down really tightens up your hips and shortens those hip flexors. This is the result of the fact that the majority of your time is spent in a docile, unengaged position. After six to eight hours a day of sitting in the car to work, sitting at work, sitting in the car home…sitting when you get home…it all means that you’re really putting your body at a disadvantage. Instead, standing at work means you’re constantly engaging your back, your core, your glutes. If you want to be proactive and geek out, you can do stretches and some exercises to do some strengthening in there. It’s amazingly different."

The Opinion Pages:This article also touches on lipase and other health benefits, but it definitely doesn't sugar coat the main message, "Your chair is your enemy. It doesn’t matter if you go running every morning, or you’re a regular at the gym. If you spend most of the rest of the day sitting — in your car, your office chair, on your sofa at home — you are putting yourself at increased risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, a variety of cancers and an early death. In other words, irrespective of whether you exercise vigorously, sitting for long periods is bad for you."

And lastly Harvard Business Review (oh I am feeling so smartly!):For all of those who feel stuck because your day job is one where you sit all day, this article gives tips and references for standing on the job. And, it offers this interesting little piece of trivia: "If you choose to stand at work, you'll be in good company. Leonardo da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson were said to have used stand-up desks. Winston Churchill, Vladimir Nabokov, Ernest Hemingway, and Donald Rumsfeld are other notable standers."

How's that for motivation!?!?!

And now we're on the honor system here. If you stood while reading this post, I commend you, you are awesome and you have lipase coursing through your veins!

However...

If you were sitting while reading this post (and standing up right now doesn't count!) you are required to watch this video:

Right now a squirrel is hanging off a tree, with a walnut in his mouth, and he is staring at me with beady little eyes. I bet he has roundworms and possibly leptospirosis. Google is my frenemy. I like the words BLARGHING CRIPES and CRAZAP. Being a parent is inspiring; I write this blog for my casefile, to help others understand me, or to possibly one day become famous.