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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Public Display of Nudity

Still in Maui. And doing some of my favorite things. Today I slept. I blogged. I ate mango cheesecake. I slept. I ate eggrolls. I watched the Game Show Network. I ate chocolate covered raisens. I watched Happy Days. I slept. I jacuzzied.

Oh, and I found a nude beach.

Here's another acronym because you know how I feel about ugly words. PDN = Public display of nudity.

Everyone has an opinion about PDA (public display of affection.) But how do you feel about PDN?

I personally think PDN is one of the funniest things ever. Partial nudity is not funny at all, but full monty nudity is stinkin' hilarious. At least FAD (from a distance). I'm a little afeared of it up close.

So this is how I came across some hee heelarious PDN today while hanging out at Maui's Big Makena beach, which is apparently just a lava rock's climb away from little Makena beach, one of the most beautiful nude beaches in the world, according to Brother Google.

My boys: "Hey can we go climb that lava rock and see what's on the other side?" And off they sprinted.

Me to my husband and IL'S. "I better run after them to make sure they don't get hurt or stumble upon a nude beach."

My husband and IL'S to me. "While you're there take some photos from the top of the lava rock, especially if you stumble upon a nude beach."

Since I'm such an obedient wife and I always do exactly what I'm told, I climbed to the top of the lava rock and started snapping photos with my wide angle lens. (I would show you, but I'm such a dummy I left my downloader cord thingiemajig at home).

Yes, they were all buck naked, except for one woman's wide brimmed sun hat to protect her delicate skin from the harsh UV rays of the sun. (My MIL calls it head gear. Has anyone seen my head gear she says when she's looking for her sun hat.)

How silly to wear head gear without body gear.

But some people were wearing body gear without head gear. It was surprising how comfortable those who were wearing body gear seemed to feel mingling with those who were wearing only head gear. Honestly, it was almost inspiring to see a fully clothed boogie boarder and a naked boogie boarder sharing the same wave as if inter-apparel relationships could really work.

I mean it would have been inspiring if I hadn't been snickering and snorting so hard and finger pointing.

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally cool with inter-apparel relationships. And I am seriously so issue free when it comes to PDN (FAD).

Like I've always said to my kids when they get out of the tub. "Hey, nudity is natural. It's partial nudity that's nasty. In fact, if God wanted us to be partially nude, we would have popped out of the birth canal wearing speedos and thong bikinis."

I had a super conservative prudish friend in college who wore a t-shirt to bed that said Party Naked. The only reason that shirt was so funny is because she didn't party naked. She didn't even shower naked.

I'm thinking of starting my own line of t-shirts like Annie Valentine did. I could call them Stupid Party Naked t-shirts and use catchy phrases like:

Boogie Board Naked

Paddle Ball Naked

Who Needs Head Gear!

My Parents went to Little Makena Beach and All I Got Was This Lousy Sunburn

33 comments:

I sooooo needed that whole laugh thing right now! And by "right now" I mean this very instant.

I've done all I can on my blog to avoid "other" responsiblities, and NOBODY was posting anything for me to chuckle at!

And then there was Crash. I love you Crash. And I now love PDN (FAD). And I have also become a complete supporter of inter-apparell relationships. It could totally work. And my husband would like it too.

WV "ressessa" Because I'm currently taking a major recess from my kitchen.

I can't stay in the closet with such A scintilating post. I am not to hip on me getting naked on a beach, Although I could probably enjoy seeing the hawaiian tropic girls playing volleyball or applying sunscreen to each other. I tend to believe evolution made us men more visually oriented in the sex department, or at least more open in admiting it.

HAHA- we were on a family vacay in Spain years ago and we went to a normal beach but everyone was in the buff. I was so embarrassed and my Dad and Ben were like "let's stay" and were totally looking all around. I wanted to die. Too funny!

Wow! The vocabulary! Where did you learn it? Did you take a special class? (tee hee-I kept hearing that Bette Midler song From A Distance as I gleefully read) What a hee-larious and creative gal you are!

So, Im so curious to know the reaction of the children at seeing all that flesh- tell us more! I lived in Italy for 3 years and totally got used to seeing the nekkid chicks with hairy pits playing volleyball on the beach {shudder} Nope, not a fan of PDN!

That is delightful! Except that I don't even need to go to Maui or a nude beach to partake not only in other people's nudity, but people having sex. I get to enjoy that from the comfort of my own home, and watching our neighbors.

The whole time I read this I was just busy thinking that I wanted chocolate covered raisins. Your talk of PDNFAD hardly fazed me. Which is saying a lot since it sounds like I'm similar to your old college roommate:)

You always make me laugh. You know there's been a naked craze the last few years. There have been all the 'naked' t-shirts of course, and then the shows like 'The Naked Chef', 'The Naked Archaeologist', and now the kid band 'The Naked Brothers Band'. Maybe it's time for 'The PDNFAD BYU EPS (English Professor Show)'. Or at least 'The PDNFAD BYU EPB (blog)'.

Good morning everyone. It's morning for me. I slept in until 8:30am OMGOSH!!!!!!!

Jen, I'm proud of you for taking a major break from the kitchen. I'm also excited you have found your virtual twin in Pat. I think you should change your profile pic now. Open your mouth and scream and then have your husband snap a picture.

So about the nudies. GREAT NEWS! I'm not such a dummy afterall, I found my downloading cord thingiemajig and I caught lots of fabulous shots of the PDN(FAD) boogie boarding and paddle balling. I guess it would be in poor taste to post nudie shots on my blog. I might have to figure out how to do black dots so it's nasty partial nudity rather than hilarious full monty nudity.

The clog naked imagery (and other various naked imagery you guys have implanted in my little brain cracked me up. I have a new idea for a t-shirt. How about Blog Naked!

Okay, I have a funny story about how my kids reacted to the PDN(FAD) and how I tried to stammer my way around it and how they are throwing my life lessons back in my face, but I may have to wait until to tomorrow's post to tell it. I want to play today (and sleep) (and eat Mango cheesecake and chocolate raisins).

Stephen, Ewwww. Emily, hee hee BOYS! Ewwww

OBG, if you show your nudie photos I'll show mine.

Cajoh, ha h I like the tatoo idea. hee hee A tatoo that said Hang Loose would be way funnier than a t-shirt.

Kristina P. You are sooooo lucky!

Melanie, I was in Nice once too and YUCK-O. The only women I saw topless were over 65. And those big rocks aren't very comfortable to lay on. And you're so right about the fascination thing. That's why partial nudity is nastier than real nudity.

T I like the Shower Naked t-shirt idea a lot. ha hah ahahaha let's make one for Barbaloot. And what a good idea to shower naked. Wish I had thought of that years ago.

Okay, my MIL is profusely and prolifically scattering her words around my brain as I type this and I can't concentrate anymore.

This also reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dates a nudist...and he finds out there are some situations that just aren't appealing. I'm sorry, butt, I'd have to go with the PN (partial nudity)....I would be the one following everyone around and disinfecting every piece of furniture. EWWWWW!

I love the inter-apparel relationships comment. You are AMAZING. So I went to an Onsen for the first time last summer. Luckily there were same sex sides of the spring. I am still disturbed that I had to be naked for it. I asked my friend a million times if it was too weird to wear a bathing suit. Apparently that would make me weirder than bathing naked with a bunch of Japanese women.

Mariko, I went to a bath house in Korea. It was me and one of my former students. When we got in there and saw all the beautiful naked Korean women, we totally chickened out. You have to set boundaries as a teacher. One being your students should never see you naked. I draw the same boundaries with my husband.

I am glad I found your wonderfully entertaining blog, from the Islands. I too needed the laugh♥

I am totally with you about the PDN(FAD) and it has only happened to us while in Hawaii. Our family laughed so hard as a group of Men tourists from Japan were running up the street with their bikini thongs on trying to catch a bus. They all LOOKED buck naked although they had to have some sort of cloth in the front which we couldn't see.We still laugh about all the bum jiggling and that was a few years ago.