Weekly Church Attenders Have the Best Sex

“Those who worship God weekly have the best sex,” said Patrick Fagan, a senior fellow at the Family Research Council. …

The socially conservative Christian group relied heavily on statistics from the University of Chicago’s last National Health and Social Life Survey, conducted in 1992, which found the most enjoyable and most frequent sex occurring among married people, those who attended church weekly—any church, whether Catholic or not—and people who had the least sexual partners.

There’s your next ad campaign. You’re welcome.

But it gets better.

When questioned about the wisdom of guaranteeing better sex, Fagan said it’s clear “those who are monogamous have the best sex they ever could—because it’s the only sex they’ll ever know.”

Guess we can add ignorance to our ad campaign as well: “Church: The most fun you can have on a Sunday morning. Trust us.”