Friday, July 10, 2009

I think this is the hottest summer we've ever had. Granted, I say that every year, but I think it's REALLY true this time. It's miserable outside! I've noticed a lot about the heat this year that I've never noticed before and I wonder if you are experiencing some of the same things . . .

1. My forehead is freakishly oily. I haven't had this problem since puberty. I'm THIS close to rubbing my forehead on a squeaky door hinge to see if it would fix the squeaking.2. I have an inexplicable willingness to don my bathing suit and jump in a pool regardless of who's around. I mean, I've avoided that thing for YEARS and now suddenly, when someone mentions swimming, I'm like Wonder Woman - changing into my suit in the blink of an eye. Actually, the Wonder Woman comment just gave me an idea - maybe if I wear shiny wrist bands and knee boots with my suit, it will draw everyone's attention away from my rear. Hmmmmmmm . . .3. I've gotten second degree burns from my car seat. Seriously. My shirt will raise up in the back just enough to expose a bit of skin so that when I sit down, I feel a searing pain. Involuntarily, I'll sit straight up and start doing Lamaze breathing techniques just to get through it.4. My steering wheel has NEVER been so hot. I seriously have to drive with the heels of my hands and, even then, I can only touch the wheel for approximately 1.3 seconds at a time. And I have to do the Lamaze breathing again, too.5. I actually contemplated jumping into a creek the other day just to cool off. I stood there telling myself that stagnant water would be refreshing and that the odds of finding water moccasins in there was pretty low. I couldn't muster up the courage, though, and cursed myself for not being a risk taker.6. I find myself driving with my elbows up to shoulder level so that the vents will blow A/C up my shirt sleeves and into my armpits. I'm not proud of this.7. When the restaurant hostess asks me if I want sit inside or outside, I stare coldly at her and tell her to use her freakin' head. Then I wipe some oil off of my forehead and sit down until my table is ready.8. Just the THOUGHT of wearing jeans makes me sweat.9. And speaking of sweat . . . I have never sweat so much. When I stand up, I have to subtly try to peel my pants off of my butt and thighs without anyone seeing. And it seems like every time I'm outside, I have sweat running down my back. The first time this happened, I freaked out because I thought there were bugs under my shirt. When I went to swat them, I realized that it was sweat. I think I might have preferred to find a bug infestation back there instead. I mean, let me tell ya, people . . . when you're single, you don't really need a case of excessive back sweat. It's SUPER attractive.

I hate to be a complainer but it's just HORRIBLE. Please tell me you feel the same! It's only July and I'm already counting down the days until the Fall arrives. I can't wait until the first cool front moves in, bringing with it the perfect excuse to wear jeans and jackets.

I am in total agreement! I don't leave the house after 1o am or until after 8 pm. I don't care if my kids are bored to tears. I'm not going out there! I am leaving for NY on the 21st, where my mom still sees her breath in the morning when she walks her dog. Wish I could go right now!!!

oh my goodness, I am so with you. I try to even wear my fall clothes hoping it will not be too hot, but then I'm sweating like a pig wondering why on earth I decided to wear jeans and a 3/4 length sweater. So glad Jax was born in April...can you even imagine being pregnant in this heat--yuck.

About Me

I'm a lawyer and a Christian. Stop laughing.
I'm single but content with where God has me right now. I have the greatest nieces and nephews and am the world's best aunt - at least that's what I've trained them to say.
I love to cook and bake. (If you know any single guys, pass that on . . .)
I love cold weather - but only if my jeans are fitting me.
I love Kraft Macaroni & Cheese - like in an unnatural way.
I love Little Debbie. Again, in an unnatural way.
Mexican food is a part of my soul. (Huh . . . now I'm starting to see why my jeans don't fit sometimes.)
I love to write about my life and my observations and I love YOU for reading along!!