Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Gene Pool at Work . . .

Some evidence that the gene pool may need a little chlorine:

* Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

* I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete thetransaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, sheexplained that it was necessary to compare the signature on thecredit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So Isigned the credit card in front of her. She carefully comparedthat signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck wouldhave it, they matched.

* At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/bank card readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say, "Strip down, face toward me."

* A customer at a sub shop ordered "a small soda." The ownerresponded, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have small, just mediumand large." (Both cost 99 cents.) The kicker came when thecustomer a rather well-dressed business type, disappointedly said, "Okay, I guess I'll just have to have the medium then."

* After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, Idescribed the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My bosssaid, Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was justkidding, I played along and said that it was just south ofElbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?

* I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighborcall the local township administrative office to request theremoval of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Manydeer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to crossthere.

* My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

* My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

* A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her sister was at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I always remember." So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat... So every year that you age, she only ages half a year?" My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years."

About Me

I am a retired broadcaster (radio)_ of 25 years. Served in 1967 and 1968 as a war correspondent in S. Vietnam. Owned a fishing/boating resort for 27 years "Lyle's at Dixon Lake," in Escondido, Ca. Owned a beach concession, "Lyle's at Moonlight Beach," in Encinitas, California for 17 years. Am divorced, still good friends with my ex, have two grown sons, Scott and Kenny. Have been one half of a couple with Evelyn for over eight years. Love dogs, tolerate cats. We have five in the house, two of which are kittens.