Great news, people! The long-awaited solution to our eternal traffic woes is finally here! Authorities in Pom Prap Sattru Phai district of Bangkok finally got serious earlier this week, and have cracked down on what they believe to be the cause of massive congestion in the area.

The culprit? Fried banana vendors!

That's right, these good-for-nothing sellers of the yellow phallic devil are being blamed for contributing to gridlocked streets in PPSP district by taking up space in traffic lanes. And for valid reason too! Everyone knows that the sight of fried bananas makes motorists reflexively stop, drool and completely lose the ability to press their foot down on the accelerator.

Oh wait, I made that up. I'm actually not quite sure how officials came up with this plan. Perhaps it was something like, "Hey, you know how this city suffers from ridiculous traffic? And you know how we've never been able to find a way to ease the congestion? Well, BANANAS! BANANAS! The answer has been right in front of us all along!"

Let's dissect the logic (or lack thereof) behind this: Apparently the fried bananas that are sold on the street in PPSP district are damn delicious. Fair enough. But it's also illegal for the vendors to approach cars on the road and peddle their goods. Fair enough.

Authorities say that traffic is horrible because tons of cars are stopping to buy the bananas. In true farcical crackdown form, police have asked people to take pictures of those seen unlawfully buying/selling the snacks and mailing the images to pomprap@hotmail.com or posting them on Pom Prap District Office's Facebook page. Those who are spotted selling could be fined B2,000, while those who are caught buying may be fined B500.

If you're only just skimming this article at this point, you could be forgiven for forgetting what I'm writing about and think this measure is being taken to combat something super dangerous, like weapons or drugs. But let me remind you again... some peepz actually sat down and came up with a plan to take down fried bananas! Perhaps it's now considered the ya baa of the snack world!

What exactly is expected to happen with this strategy? It sounds almost as archaic as the Hotmail address that PPSP district uses. Are Good Samaritans supposed to perform their civic duty and photograph people in the satanic act of banana transactions? Then what? Police will begin a massive hunt to track down the fruity criminals to fine them? Then if all goes well, traffic will cease to exist?

While the intentions of this plan are somewhat OK, it's completely misguided as usual.

Yes, illegal roadside vendors are a problem in PPSP district and beyond. Yes, they are annoying when they approach your car, whether it's to sell bananas, garlands, or goldfish in inflated plastic bags. But isn't it more reasonable to say that vendors come out because cars are stuck in traffic, not because they want to cause traffic? If anything, that's a smart business plan on their part!

Plus, when the light turns green, the vendors scurry off anyway for fear of being run over by a maniacal speeding driver.Instead of finding solutions for problems that don't really exist (fried bananas leading to traffic), wouldn't it make more sense to tackle things that are more likely to contribute to congestion - mismanaged traffic lights, lack of communication between control stations, horrible drivers, police falling asleep on the job...

Cracking down on fried banana sellers because they are illegal is reasonable. But taking them away because they supposedly hold up road flow is ridiculous and will do nothing to combat traffic. If anything, we should let them keep selling their bananas because who knows how bad road rage could get if drivers are sitting in their cars cranky and hungry.

I can see a bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and clear blue sky above the wall and sunlight everywhere .Life is beautiful. Let future generations cleanse it of all evil , oppression and violence , and enjoy it to the full .

A little Nana stuff as I hadn't been here in a year. Beers are 150B so only up 5B. BigDogs has gone from 95B to 120B. Last year everything closed up quickly right at 2 AM. Now customers are allowed to linger with their drinks at the outside Nana bars. As a result the rush of talent out of Nana has become a slow process. I waited over 30 minutes for a LB to come out then she didn't even stop. A Soi 4 bar that will remain nameless, that is open morning and night, leaves one of their big shutters open an serves until 5 AM. The is no effort to be discreet. The street bar scene just doesn't seem to be what it was a few years ago. That use to be my favorite thing but no so much these days.

Hows this for a Sweety eh. Just started in Obsessions. Uni Student and studied English...very handy
I cant even pronounce the name .. begins with G..

Obsession has been opening afternoons, with a volunteer workforce, but very little business cos no-one knows about it. Kee of Cascade told me last night that her bar is to open at 5pm from this week. And any ladyboys not turning up would be cut 1000 baht. This should be interesting. Looking forward to sitting in Big Dogs for the rush of sleepy LBs at 4.45pm!!!

Obsession has been opening afternoons, with a volunteer workforce, but very little business cos no-one knows about it. Kee of Cascade told me last night that her bar is to open at 5pm from this week. And any ladyboys not turning up would be cut 1000 baht. This should be interesting. Looking forward to sitting in Big Dogs for the rush of sleepy LBs at 4.45pm!!!

I walked through Nana today ay 1:15 PM. There were all of two customers drinking at the open air bars. I walked in Obsessions and there were maybe six girls I could see but a couple were lookers. There were no customers. I would have stopped in for a bit but didn't want to start drinking that early.

By contrast the bars overlooking Soi 4 were doing quite well (Hillary 4, Stumble Inn and Morning Night) had a good number of customers. Either the message about Nana isn't out or no one cares. I don't know the rules on the all you can drink afternoons at Nana for 599B. Maybe it's draft Chang or something like that (sorry, I hate Chang). But it sure isn't pulling the guys away from the "sit on the rail" bars so far.

I don't know the rules on the all you can drink afternoons at Nana for 599B. Maybe it's draft Chang or something like that

It sounds almost too good to be true 599 Baht is roughly £12 in Sterling and that would translate to about 4 pints of beer here if you were lucky .

We should sent a volunteer in to report back , any takers ?

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I can see a bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and clear blue sky above the wall and sunlight everywhere .Life is beautiful. Let future generations cleanse it of all evil , oppression and violence , and enjoy it to the full .

It sounds almost too good to be true 599 Baht is roughly £12 in Sterling and that would translate to about 4 pints of beer here if you were lucky .

We should sent a volunteer in to report back , any takers ?

We've sent in three already and the answers they provided consisted of a series of grunts, a whistle and a shrill high pitched laugh, accompanied by drooling and snoring. We are running low on resources and will have to wait for their verbal skills to return.

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