Personality Differences by Gender

Both men and women are expected to hide their weak feelings (e.g., pain, fear, sorrow, and dependence) and to learn to engage flexibly in verbal play. However, men are expected to lose control more (especially under the influence of alcohol) and resort to overt expressions of emotion (e.g., anger and jealousy), as well as some displays of physical violence (wife-beating, fistfights, suicide). Women, by contrast, are supposed to be more stoic, to keep smiling and laughing, and to find covert outlets for their sorrows and fears.

Both men and women take pride in being independent and having others depend upon them, but women are more effusive and obviously nurturing in their offerings of ka'oha "concern." In dealing with outsiders, women are now (though they were not in the early 19th century) known for being reticent, while men come forward with more apparent friendliness (either formal or joking). However, within the community, women are fully as talkative as men (Riley, 2001).

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