Everything not fictional here is real

Monthly Archives: June 2008

Sometimes I’m not 100% sure that what I see is really there (see previous post). That’s why they invented the camera, which doesn’t lie… on the shelf ‘stamm‘ (for no reason’-Heb). Yes, I use it to filter truth from hallucinations. Here are two ‘visions’ which science has proven to be actual Real Phenomena. First, a well-fed but lost looking large white rat I woke up yesterday to find on my quaint little back porch. She runs under the house and hides, but gives every appearance of being semi-domesticated, which is my excuse to go door-to-door with my neighbors asking if they’ve recently lost a Giant Rat? I get a point for proximal excellence even if they haven’t, which is the news so far. My new tenants will gleefully take care of her should I strike out terminally, I’m happy to report. Maybe Johnny finally picked a winner this time.

And speaking of Relationship-Zen, the pond/waterfall/marine ecosystem they’ve created in the backyard is home, as I discovered (and documented to my satisfaction yesterday), to a variety of Fishes, the two in the picture being worth six-month’s rent in an emergency. (or at least a tasty meal if skillfully prepared with tartar sauce and lemon. I’m living (for a few remaining days ) in a wonder-land people pay good money to even visit. Just need to fine-tune my Be here Now ® karma-thingy-whatever. There’ll be plenty of rats and fish in Israel in a couple days, problem is; they walk on two legs or smell bad or both. But that’s all There… and Then. C’mon, Johnny, concentrate on the Now…

Reminds me of the old joke: “Did anyone here lose a roll of hundred dollar bills with a rubber band around it?” “ A guy says,Yeah, me. I did!!” Then you go,”Ok, great, I just found the rubber band…” So yeah, I did find this box in my attic. I don’t remember buying it. Maybe that’s the point; Most of us don’t. I do remember the first time I took LSD saying something like “Ok, this sure is an awesome unrivalled experience but y’know, most of the ‘Truths ™‘ here I, like, already know” Thanks to growing up mainly with cows… and lettuce. Both of ’em are pretty fair at ‘Being Here Now’ ®, in fact, the average second-lactation Jersey cow has probably never ‘ Been.. like.. Somewhere Else.. um.. Then’, and they kinda radiated their world-view, at least until the invention of the transistor radio…

Lots of other stuff in the attic… Homemade computers with 256 bytes (!) of expensive on-board RAM. In those days you wrote programs as tight, lean and condensed as humanly possible, (and left three-byte holes for a JMP command in case they bombed.). Oddly enough, I’m probably a better programmer for the couple hundred hours I spent transfixed by a head of lettuce. I just can’t remember why, if that’s important anymore.

Add: Yes, I caught the mis-spelling of ‘milograms’. I have several theories, including but not limited to;

*type-setters on acid

*illiterates selling fake box-ends to wanna-bes in the 70’s

*an obscure reference to my ‘armless friend and Goddess of Passion, Her majesty, the Venus de Milo-gram?