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Well, there is basically only one more day left in this year (give or take an hour or so) and I thought I would take the time to just write a little bit.

When I first started this blog, it was to be about my hobby "Sweepstaking" However, it ended up being more about my pain and trying to get off of certain medications and the withdrawal. Bummer Blog Big Time! So I took it all down and now I am starting over.

So since New Year's is a perfect time for New Beginnings, I thought I would reflect about this past year. The last couple of days have been sucky for me, as I am totally worn out and feel drained. My Mom was in the ER/Hospital the day after Christmas and with my parents car out of commission, I've been going backwards and forwards, trying to help them. Yet, I have also spread myself too thin and I'm paying for it now, by sleeping all the time and trying to "shut down'

Mom is doing better, praise God. I am worried about the new year, and I want to shed my doubts and negative thoughts that continually go through my head, but it's so hard. I want to try harder in my hobby, and get better results from it than I got this year. Nothing bad, I'm in the black..but it just wasn't WOW, ya know?

So since the new year is upon us, I am thinking of a new mantra that I will say to myself, to keep me going. This last year's was "We'll be fine, in 2009"..yeah..nothing great, but it was true. We are all together and moderately healthy. Money is tight and for the next four months, unless I win something amazing, it will be the hardest starting financial year for us, since we've moved into this house. You would think ten years into it, we would be better off, but no.

So this year's mantra is "We're going to win, in 2010!" However, to do this, I do also have to do my part and enter sweepstakes. So I am trying to clean off my desk of all this old rubbish I have everywhere, as well as try and reclaim my desk back from my child. Since the Christmas holiday break from school, I have not had my desk as my own. My child seriously needs their own desk/space.

I am also trying to get more organized in my sweeping information. I subscribe to various places to get my information for entering sweepstakes. The first one I ever subscribed to, is called "Sweepsheet." I also subscribe to a smaller one called "Sweeping America" Even though I could find all the information that these two newsletter's provide for free on the internet, it is nice having it all brought to me, to my in box of my email.

I also belong to a local sweeps club, but have been giving it a lot of thought, as to change to another group. I love each and every person in the group that I belong to, however it's becoming more work, than an enjoyable hobby. I am spending more and more money, when I don't have it to spend, just to participate in this group. If I don't, I feel guilty and not worthy of being a member. The part that is hardest for me, is that the rule made by the founding person, I guess you would call it, insist that if you are a member at her club, you can not be a member anywhere else locally. It just really frustrates me.

I also have a membership on a group, called OLS which is short for Online-Sweepstakes.com. I love this group. I feel that I used to win so much more, when I focused more time on that particular website. I used to wake up and take my child to school and then come home and spend two to three hours everyday, entering sweepstakes from their website. This would result in putting my name in about 200-300 sweepstakes everyday. I usually didn't take a break either, unless I, or someone else in my family was sick...or we were on vacation. The only problem with all of this is, I got burn out! Even though I still visit this place many times, daily I don't enter like I used to. I've gotten sucked into their forums and get fascinated by all the flame wars and whatnot that are posted. Total time waster, if ever there was one. Yet I'm hooked.

So I am going to hopefully change my bad habits and get back into entering and enjoying my hobby. I want it to be fun again. I want that thrill of excitement back in my heart, when the mailman comes to my door, or when I see Fed Ex or UPS drive down my street.

I know I can win again, if I set my mind to it. Plus if I did start winning again, it could help us financially..especially if I won either $$$ or a trip, so we didn't have to spend our own $$$ on a trip, ya know? I would also really love to win another trip to NYC. I got to go for the first time back in November, and I love it.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I am hoping to add more to this blog as time goes by and not just let it sit gathering dust. So goodbye 2009....hello 2010!