i look at the celebratory glasses that used to be hers
and are now in the corner cupboard in my kitchen...
i have yet to use them.
can't quite get that far.
but i look at them every day.

something someone will say...

a color...

ah, the things that bring her back....

i saw the quote this morning and wanted to do the blog in her honor.

but what do you do? what do you say?

i can tell you all about her.
but it still won't capture the her i knew.
and you can tell me all about your people you've lost.

and while we should do that, i think.....
i think it helps and it's a good thing.....

it doesn't feel right this morning.

again, i am filled with wanting to DO something in memory of that
lovely woman......who had such a little girl inside her.....

and for the millionth time i turn to the bone sigh 'honoring you'

it's the top piece of art listed on the side here. i feel like i've typed
it out in the blog so much, no one needs it again.

but the idea......i need to be reminded all the time -
to carry her inside the beauty that is truly inside me.
to be all i can be.
to open into all that beauty.
and to do that in her honor and somehow to carry her
in there with me.

to do that, you have to believe that beauty is inside you.
that it's part of you.

lately, i've been running into people who really really don't
believe that. who i can't even say that they 'struggle with it'..
because that would imply they believe it and are trying to get there.
they can't even get to the point of believing it.

and it's moments like this i want to scream 'stop! look!
really see! it's in you! and it matters!'

why?
why do i want to scream it out sometimes???
why do i think it matters for people to see it?
cause maybe i think that's our hunk of god.
and maybe i think living with our hunk, and workin' to uncover it,
dust it off, shine it.......that part......that part is living our beauty.

and somehow.......and i don't even really know what i mean....
but somehow that's how we carry those we've lost.
in that.

in the hunk of god.

i guess we carry everything in there, huh?

so it doesn't just matter to the person for themselves to see it.
somehow it matters to us all.

and no, i haven't a clue how that works or what that really means.
it's just a vague feeling that gets real strong sometimes.

and it's strong enough this morning,
that in honor of someone i loved who is no longer here,
i'm trying my best to shout it out to remember your beauty,

i'll be doin' my own remembering today.

so that i can carry her inside that beauty.
because i know, without understanding how at all, that she's in that.

she, who taught me the strength of tenderness,
will continue to grow me, and help me remember to keep
uncovering my beauty and living in the space of that light.

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the challenge of living

“to allow the sorrow and weight of life and yet to dance with an easy and open heart. to ache in your darkest depths and yet to laugh from your light filled center. to know the reality of humanity and yet to believe in the magic of the stars. to act with love in the middle of the fear and to hold each moment as the gift that it is. this is the challenge of living.”

for patrise

'turns out she was beautiful all along -'

slam

“slam the door, i'll open a window. close my window, i'll find a crack in the wall. caulk the opening in the wall - i'll bust thru the bricks - because i'm not a victim anymore”

it was hers

“they took. they invaded. they pushed. they violated. in so many different ways. a lifetime of pushes and takings and making her feel less than valuable. sitting back, she began to see it. how it had gone on and on. and in seeing it, she began to realize - it was up to her now to shout, to whisper, to sing, to move and to believe in her value. no more taking that from her. it was hers. no more giving it away. it was hers. proudly, with strength and with knowing, she held it. she lived it. she became it.”

the whole

“she could never go back and make some of the details pretty. all she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.”

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god's in there

“i want my heart to open and open. 'cause i think god's in there.”

i am

“to lose myself in the dance so much so that love will entangle my bones in its roots, courage will embrace the ashes and wisdom will understand that it's all part of the dance. this is mine for the taking. i pray my hands will grasp it, my heart will open to it, and i will know that i am the dance.”

the fabric of her dancing shoes

Wanting to learn how to dance not only through life, but with life, and understanding that the dancing came from within, Terri began a search inside herself. This book is an account of some of terri's searching and wanderings.

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i matter

“it was when she first dared to see her truth that the winds howled. after a time, it strengthened her and she spoke her truth and the earth shook. and when finally, she believed her truth - the stars rejoiced, the universe opened, and even her bones sang her song: I Matter!”

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honor yourself and many more images to pick from!

thanks

“who do i thank for her? the stars? the universe? she herself? none of these thanks seem enough for such a gift as having her in my life.”

if i could

“if i could teach you anything- it would be to hear your heart, and know your beauty and to believe in your possibilities”

more than anything

“more than anything i want to trust a journey that i don't understand~”

hope cards

set of 50 watercolor cards designed to offer a daily dose of hope and inspiration!

living passion

“it is not enough to find your passion... you must dive straight into the fire of your fear~ where you can grab it and hold it until it transforms you.”

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i am enough

“lifting the cover of shame and self doubt, she dropped it on the ground. stepping into the light she slowly lifted her head. this is who i am. and i am here. and i am enough. the light warmed her face and her heart.”

voices

“the pull was calling again. so strongly it called her. no. she didn't want to answer it... and yet.... she stalled. give it enough time. it will pass. "stall." she told herself. "you can do it." the voices in her head going back and forth, the struggle intense, the moments magnified. and then slowly the call weakened. the spirit strengthened. she stepped forward with relief and pride. she was moving on ~ with an even stronger spirit and a stronger body.”

writer's kit

a gift for the writer's in your life!

allowing it

“it's not about controlling. it's about being present. being open, being aware - and allowing it to come.”

stars inside her journal

journaling with bone sigh arts

she fell

“she fell from their graces into her truth.”

the universe

“and the universe listened”

back to life

“weeping tears of recognition she found herself among the ruins and brought herself back to life.”

a gift

“she was a gift. she understood that now. she lived that now. in offering herself to those who valued her, and leaving the others to themselves, she grew. and the gift deepened...”

a new life

“and a new life arrives. possibility is born. may we wrap your heart in gentleness and give you wings of light as you blossom into you. welcome, little one, welcome.”

the light inside

“when things were hard and when it hurt, she closed her eyes - searching for the light inside. slowly, it brightened enough for her to see it. quietly, she felt it - touched it - held it. and steadily it warmed her and softened her once again.”

it's there

“don't wait for it. know it's there already. don't stop to feel it. move in its flow without thinking. don't test the wind... just lift your wings - and leap!”

embrace my scars

“i will accept the falls. embrace my scars. live my Passion. i will not run.”

from the stars

“she came from the stars. it was her job to remember that, to hold that, and to honor that.”