Thursday, November 17, 2005

Time is Fluxing

The temporal and gravametric stresses resulting from the utter implosion of the Burning Sub-Blogosphere are seeping into the Frozen Lower Blogosphere at a measureable rate of .21 chromatons per microsecond. The normal seepage rate is .00015 chromatons per milisecond. I don't think I need to exagerate the implications of this.

While the finest minds at Roboshrub Inc. are working around the clock to reverse this dillution of the spacial grid, I must (as the unquestioned master of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere) prepare for the worst. Evacuation plans are being devised even as we speak. Because we all know the consequences of not having an evacuation plan.

All citizens are advised to stock up on duct tape and water. Freedom is on the march.

I couldn't help noticing that your entire blogoverse is about to self-destruct, perhaps leading citizens to turn their attention to the salvation of their immortal, digital souls--or at least their flat-screen plasma televisions.

I have several end-time insurance packages available at special "you should have thought of this earlier" rates.

Yes, unfortunately the collapse of the Sub-Blogosphere is causing massive force fielding in the Lower Blogosphere. Our only hope is for the scientists at Roboshrub Inc. to come up with a way to preven the collapse.