A Profanity Lesson with Grandma and Frank Zappa

My ultimate job is to help the kids transition into adulthood, and part of that process is to at least give them an honest look at my true philosophies as an adult.

So the first thing I did is show the boys my response to Grandma and let them listen to Zappa's take. After all, just because I'm not saying 'fuck' around the house, I don't have to pretend that this wonderful word doesn't exist, or that I have a problem with it personally. Furthermore, Zappa is a critical thinker, and teaching critical thinking is one of my most important parenting goals.

We talked about the quote, and I explained its significant irony. I told them that if they are going to use words that society has branded profane, those words should be part of a well-rounded vocabulary, not the majority.

Finally, I explained that are certain situations where profanity is a real no-no, like when there are little kids around or you are at a funeral or it's the first time you meet your girlfriend's parents.

I'm sure there's a few more, but I'm the guy who tends to throw a 'fuck' into first-time conversations just to see how people react, so I couldn't think of too many.

I know one of them isn't in the column. After all, Parent Hood ain't for kids.