How abstinence-only sex ed keeps some people from reporting their sexual assaults

On top of the shame many people who’ve been raped or sexually assaulted feel based on the assault itself, there’s evidence to suggest that many feel an additional burden of shame based on the pro-abstinence and abstinence-only sex education programs they’re taught at home, school and church.

According to Teen Vogue, the culture of purity and virginity surrounding these programs leads some, including writer Gina Florio, to hide their assaults from their loved ones and suffer in secret.

After being assaulted at age 16, Florio wrote that rather than getting the help she needed, she spent much of her time punishing herself.

“I spent the following weeks crying and literally repenting at church for what I thought I had done wrong, when the reality was, a boy I knew, trusted, and liked took me out on a faux date,” Florio wrote, and added a graphic description of her rape. “I was too paralyzed in a cloud of fear to even think about escaping. More importantly, I was convinced that it was all my fault. That I deserved this.”

Florio’s experiences were backed up not only by anecdotes from other young women who were afraid to disclose their rape because of their abstinence-only sex ed, but also by Nicole Cushman, a comprehensive sex ed advocate who works with organizations that sponsor common-sense sex ed.

“Many abstinence-only programs instill fear and shame related to sexual behavior. They may teach young people that they are dirty or tainted if they’ve had sex,” Cushman told Florio. “This can make it harder for them to disclose sexual abuse because they feel ashamed and worry they’ll be judged for what happened to them.”