In case you’re wondering whether i’m excited for the upcoming fantasy football season, I hope then next NINE THOUSAND words — it’s actually a bit more than that, but I just rounded down to make it a (startlingly) clean number — will answer that question for you.

Welcome back to the second installment of my three-part NFL “Independence Day” team. Today, we’ll be introducing the offense who’ll be charged with putting points on the board against our (hypothetical) Earth-invading alien overlords.