The anthropomorphic mascot of an infantile-looking app called HappyPlayTime is avulva, whose face is a clitoris. It’s kind of cute. But not according to the prudish jerks over at Apple. They’re are not keen on HappyPlayTime’s agenda-pushing. What’s their agenda, you ask? They want to educate ladies on how to masturbate. If the idea that certain women need a lesson in how to use their own vagina wasn’t annoying enough, then read the message Apple sent to the app’s designer, Tina Gong: “Your app HappyPlayTime has been reviewed, but we are unable to post this version. For details, or to directly contact the App Review team, visit the Resolution Centre in the iTunes Connect. Do not reply to this email.”

No Apple. You don’t reply to THIS email. The app itself came about via the crowd-funding efforts of a bunch of ladies who were seeking to rectify to stigma attached to female masturbation. Reportedly, 46.6 percent of American women masturbate less than once a month. Less than once a month! Each to their own, but still — this is an bloody outrage. What are you doing, women? With or without HappyPlayTime — y’all need to get your shit together.