A writer and a tropical muse. A funky Lubavitcher who enjoys watching the weather, hurricanes, listening to music while enjoying life with a sense of humor and trying to make sense of it all!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Random Thoughts From an Organized Mind

Yes.. neatly organized in that I have my priorities down pat.. I'm very centered in that I know exactly where I am going.. especially today though I may vary in my path along the way. Why? Because sometimes serendipity is the mother of invention.

I'm looping loops and trying to understand Franklin. Why when the NHC can do that for me? Because I love doing it, I want to understand it better and Y is a crooked letter.

People wonder who I am sometimes. They try to make sense of the various parts that seem to conflict and contradict eachother. Just accept me for who I am.

I am spiritual not so much religious. Not dogmatically anyway.

I keep the Jewish Sabbath because I love it. It is a break from the insanity of the rushed and hurried world out there and gives me a cool, breathing space to catch my breath.. like a tropical pond in a rainforest with a refreshing waterfall nearby. An oasis in the desert on a starry night. A break from my googling and rushing about the day. Time out, go away.. leave me alone, let me play.. let me pray... let me connect with something bigger than my weekly world. Come along and join me if you want to.. the house is always open to guests who wish to enjoy the Shabbos rest.. or Queen as we call it in prayers.

I find it funny and amusing that the man I dated who used to live in the religious world, built a community, started two temples and has five religious children who he insists is sure won't remain religous (because he doesn't want them to be) sends his wife thousands of dollars which in Israel monthly is tons and tons of money for her to send them to the very religous schools she sends them to... he can't come by for a Shabbos dinner because he is I suppose allergic to the word "shabbos" and doesn't want to sit at a meal though can eat for hours at a Chinese buffett where "shabbos" is never mentioned..........................and yet..............my sweet, beautiful Ojibwa friend from the North can sit at a Shabbos meal at my house for hours admiring the peace and beauty and commaraderie of the kids.. togetherness of the family at a meal and enjoy it's beauty.

Go figure.

People are funny.

Both men are good men, wonderful men in their way but the logical, computer programmer who hates to even hear the word Shabbos doesn't seem to think it's illogical to keep sending his wife thousands of dollars of money (including alimony after she remarried) to keep his children in the religous lifestyle he abhors living in Israel as opposed to simply going to a good attorney.. having the money reset to Israeli standards and/or doing something different than he has always done. His actions are at odds with his beliefs. Does he deep down want the kids to be religous and living in Israel and this is some sort of passive agressive decision. I'm not making them religous.. "she is" but it is HIS money that is supporting their lifestyle. No..not saying giving child support is bad.. it is very good. But, at times men get screwed and they need to review the situation and go back to court, ask for things they want and change the rules. He stopped giving alimony, she manipulated him back into it... seems she is good at that and I guess he likes being manipulated. Don't know. Makes no sense. Not to me...

And, no he doesn't read this blog. Could but doubt he will and if he did it's nothing I haven't said in my quiet way to him but he is a dreamer... a dreamer who thinks he is analytical and practical (virgo) but a dreamer because a practical, analytical man would do things differently. They would see reality and work with it. He is as much a dreamer as a man tilting at windmills ..

And yet the Ojibwa who I adore.. is not so much a dreamer as he looks. May own a dream catcher but he is very left brain by his own admission. Asked him once what he would do if what he wanted went against what seemed logical. He smiled and said that he would keep rethinking it til he could fit it into his own way of understanding it. That man is practical.. much more so than he is judged by many I am sure. And, has the most amazing smile, eyes, cheekbones, body and brain. Not to mention sharp enough to notice we were being watched when all I could notice was him.

The Ojibwa.. is spiritual. He sees the beauty in life, nature, people and the very Jewish man is lost in running away from being religous and doesn't stop to smell the roses, see a sunset or what is perfect in front of him. He is so lost in fighting some religious battle he doesn't stop to see the gifts that God has put on this earth. The sun, the sea, the air.. the wind, the fire in a person's eyes.

Two men.. so different, so easily judged by society...put in neat little boxes.

The world is round.. there are no boxes.. the boxes exist only in our minds.

My mind is an ever shifting shell game of round, non-identical pieces shifting constantly back and forth fitting in certain ways.

Like the water vapor loop.

If Anais Nin were alive today she would be the biggest little weather girl there was as she said often she loves all things that flow.. especially the water. She once said she loved her menstrual cycle.. the flowing of her period. I agree. I have always loved my period. There is something so totally sensual about it. So natural. I'm gonna miss it when it's gone. Funny but true.. if it ever departs :)

Ever see an online dating service? I'm sure you have... you know NativeAmericansRUs or Jdate or some Christian site.. they all have the same questions. One is Astrological sign. I love that one... says so much about someone. Not what they say but when they say "I don't believe in it." Well, sorry Charlie that was not the question.. the question was what sign are you because someone ELSE wants to know. If you are so into your disbelief it says you think your way of doing everything is the only way. You don't believe....therefore no one else should belive. You are either dogmatic, controlling or stubborn. Just tell me what sign you are..it's not the end of the world. Chemistry between two people is the important thing.. commonalities are good but what do I have in common with the Ojibwa that would make me wander into a wig wam in Wisconsin with him and leave the Jewish Guy eating a Jewish bagel at the very not-kosher but Jewish Breakfast place. He NEEDS to be Jewish yet he wants no part of Judiasm beyond food... no Torah or the legacy of ethics that built Judiasm and kept it going. Sure wasn't those hard as rock, funny tasting bagels. Prefer toast buttered anyday.

And, no not really dating either. Still friends.

Love that bumper sticker that says "Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger."

Anyway.. I am available for dates and a long term relationship (hopefully) and my concept of marriage right now would be standing on a beach or near the water in a long pretty hippy looking skirt and a tank top and a lei around my neck, flowers in my hair standing there, staring up at someone I love pledging to love them forever and thanking God for sending them to me. If that fits within your parameters.. look me up, you know where to find me. Jdate lol or HurricaneCity. Dogmatic types need not apply. Whimsical, smart, sensuous men who are both analtyical but playful and know when not to walk away from someone who makes their heart flutter like a butterflies wings.. need apply. If you have a hobby, golf, fishing.. please go do it on Saturday and let me relax... first enjoy Friday night with delicious food, relaxed eating, great sex and then go do your thing on Saturday if you don't want to spend the whole day with me.. is that SOOO much to ask. My gosh I am easy. And, I am not into shopping. I'll drink a beer and watch a baseball game or better a football game. This shouldn't be soooo hard. Giggling.

Seriously though... what I wanted to say was this.. notice how I pulled that butterfly back to the Chaos theory I wanted to discuss?

Centered. Priorities. I know who I am.

Who are you is the question?

There is a theory used in science and international relations of Chaos ..example: There was a squirmish between Turkey and Greece a while back. They had sat through many sessions of peace treaties and negotiations on their much disputed different views of how far out they own the water between them. Seems in some places.. it overlaps. Things were fine. Things were calm. Suddenly war broke up or at least a squirmish.. seems some hard of hearing fishing captain heard some noise, jumped up half asleep and started shooting into the air.. the next thing you know Jed was not a millionaire but the peace was broken. No one attacked him but suddenly he was shooting. He heard a noise. Felt threatened. Probably some passing thunder or butterfly buzzing too close to his brain. No planned out attack.. just paranoia, a gun handy and the wrong assumption.

Wars have been started over less.

Especially long ago and far away before everyone in intelligence in some little country could google and check for their leader the details. Now you can't get a good war going without hundreds of inspectors or the United Nations Seal of Approval. And, when Country George W decides to go to war... we go.. no matter whether we should or shouldn't.

Life is funny for lack of a better word.

Fourteen of the Nineteen HiJackers were from Saudi Arabia. In the old days, good old crusade days I imagine we would have jumped aboard little boats or planes and bombed the hell out of Saudi Arabia. But, today... we bombed Iraq. That makes sense.

Nothing makes sense.. that is the Chaos theory in ways. There are correlations and connections everywhere and sometimes shit just happens and then we figure out what to do next. We keep trying to Monday morning quarterback the tropics when the models don't verify in the world of weather.

At least George W just says, "oh well"

So... open up your eyes.. look around you and don't prejudge every situation or person. Don't judge by color, by religion, by politics or even by their hobbies because you just never know who someone really is deep down.

I was reading a book a while back. Beautiful book... Messages Hidden in Water or something like that.. Japanese Guy.. fancy right brain scientist. Do I believe that water talks? That it changes? Don't know. Skeptical. Open to reading it and learning from it and thinking how pretty the pictures are... Has a theory mentioned about water getting to this planet from comets.. falling constantly. Says that the water level of the earth is rising not from ice melting but from water constantly falling and seen falling on satellite imagery. I googled it. Not a lot of references but yes did say NASA was studying it. I'm more a skeptic than a dreamer but open to possibilities. The images that came back from NASA's planned collision with that comet and the data received was said to confirm the large amounts of water inside the comet and alluded to the theory that water falls to earth from comets that is being studied. I was sort of like, "wait, stop..what did that say?" This was no new age little blue book bought at Barnes and Noble (available in the North Miami Beach Public Library) but.... a NASA press release. Scientific analysis of the data from the comet. Why do we believe something faster when it has the seal of approval? Because we are afraid to believe... to take things without being SURE. To let the mind go..wander and play and see what it comes up with..

People thought Columbus was crazy. Of course he did just want to get the hell out of Spain with his shipload of many Jewish Sailors and map makers... Spain had sort of become user unfriendly.. he moved on. Got the Spannish Throne to pay for it too. Talk about a great con man :)

When Democracy was invented ...theorized it was only a theory..and many people could say the Benjamin Franklins of the world and Thomas Jeffersons were crazy .. people couldn't rule themselves. Was Democrazy not democracy... but they believed in a theory... a belief that all men were created equal. Mind you black men got the vote before white women.. so next time someone asks you "do you notice color first or sex, be honest...." But, it's okay because with the vote or without the vote some manipulative lady is getting what she wants from some man I imagine. And, vice versa. Columbus got the money to get out of town from the throne. Not so crazy a man huh? Did he believe the earth was round? Who knows but imagine he believed if he had a ship and supplies and men to sail it he could keep going til he found some new land somewhere. And, he did.

And, Queen Mary of Scotland was beheaded and her son James I went on to rule England when the little Virgin Queen died without heirs... and his line of the family is still ruling England today. Of course the Virgin Queen wouldn't have gotten her crown if her mother hadn't gone to her grave to protect her right to the throne. And, the Virgin Queen I imagine wasn't really a virgin but in the old days a Virgin was often refered to as not owned by any man. Learned all that from various astrological sites. Astrologists are both historians and mathematicians you see.

Don't pre-judge people. Benjamin Franklin was an astrologer and a meteorologist and a politician. And, I bet he never got a degree from Harvard.

High pressure is coming down off the top of the world pushing down hard on Franklin (notice the linkage) and he is not doing well. Sort of splitting in two and seeing as tropical systems need warmth, moisture and hot water I would imagine if the southern part takes over and can learn to spin it will have to be reckoned with in a few days. Maybe. Not everything is set in stone it seems. Keep watching.

I'm in Miami this weekend.. didn't go to Key West with my brother as he just always wimps out on things like this. Can't be spontaneous to save his life and always worrying on every decision. Which is okay because truth is I plan to go down there soon during weekday time frame so I can do some research that you can't do on Sundays when business offices are closed and the town is full of tourists dressed like Hemingway. I'm a Fitzgerald girl.. anyway, why would I want to go down there this weekend?

Going out, doing something with my son who is home alone while all the older kids have flown the coop this summer. Going somewhere I can feel the sun and the wind and the waves before the Great Saharan Dust Storm of 2005 settles its fine dust upon the land and dangerously close to my lungs.

Thank you for reading this ... may not have a lot to do with the tropics but hey you were warned.. was just random thoughts from my very organized mind.

Where ever my Jewish friend is I am sure he is eating a bagel this minute feeling superior to the rest of the world's religions and races. Shrugging shoulders, what can I say.. he has some good midos.. some good ethics and he is a good man.. just stuck rigidly in his Jewishness and his rebelliousness. The Obijwa :) ... hope he is happy somewhere and enjoying his son, the sun and life around him. And, may I add here that to Rev. Ron the Obijwa while not a Jew or a Christian didn't ask me out by daring me to go with him.. he didn't say "if i ask you to the dance i know you won't go with me right?" Talk about running away from a relationship too hot for you to handle and slamming your butt into a wall but arguing out an invitation vs talking from the heart. Religion isn't my problem. When someone picks a fight with you to "not go out" vs making it damn clear they want you to go out with them.. you get what you ask for.. a fight.

May I say to all of you... plan for the future, remember the past and learn from it, know that you can't control everything because suddenly dragonflies appear in the strangest of places.. grains of sand from the Saharan Desert land on your newly washed automobile... learn to go with the flow and when someone takes your breath away and you feel like you need them to breathe.. you reach out with both arms you don't walk away or give them a reason to walk away.