Verbal Kint

I want to make some joke about Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia taking flight at the Polish Falcon last night. But dang, I can’t even do that on Thursday morning. Also, I can’t verify such an event happened. Sure, I can see the score sheet, but those are just numbers in a spreadsheet. Anyone can put any numbers in a spreadsheet. It’s not hard. That’s how I made it through my semester as an accounting major.

I kind of suspect Nick of not even hosting trivia last night. Certain parts of the story seem plausible. Gilmore Girls Gone Wild winning with 93 points? Sure. Tunnel Snakes with 72 points? That’s believable. Beerology and Demogorgonized Crime battling it out for last place? Seems legit.

But, let’s look at some of the other aspects of this story.

Nick called the other day, and mentioned he had a new location for trivia. When I asked him where, he stumbled over his words for a minute, then said “The Polish Falcon”. I’m pretty sure Nick just Kaizer Soze-ed me. I can seem him there, in his kitchen, cooking up a polish sausage using his falconry glove as a hot pad, like some sort of animal who doesn’t respect the sport. Polish. Falcon. “Yeah. We’re playing at the Polish Falcon. You wouldn’t know it. It’s in Riverwest.”

Listen, people can name their establishments whatever they want, and they use shitty names all the time. Milwaukee seems especially accepting of it. There is currently, in 2017, a place called Gypsy Taco. Like that is not some top shelf ignorance. And people just let that place stay in business when really they should be the black bloc to the owner’s Richard Spencer.

But the Polish Falcon seems too tame for bar name. Too suspicious. So I post notice to the sosh meeds yesterday. People are clicking likes, reminding others this supposed place is cash only, and engaging just a little too much.It all seems dodgy.

Then I get the scores, and this where Nick blew it. He put Tunnel Snakes and Tits & Giggles in a tie. But I know Tits & Giggles. I’ve seen this team. They are not the type of people who go deep into Riverwest. Sure, they’ll hit The Tracks and maybe Colectivo, but when people like the members of Tits & Giggles go to Riverwest, they typically don’t come out without a drug problem and their parents telling stories of why they won’t be home for Easter.

I suggest you Milwaukee players get your stories straight. Before Nick tries to sell us all a lie again next week.

For those who might want to spend an evening actually playing trivia, I suggest joining us tonight at Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood. We’ll be in the basement and the show starts at 7pm.