I expected the angels to sing. Confetti. Maybe a high school marching band. In my head there would be a cameraman there asking me what I was going to next.

"I'm going to Disney World!"

But there was none of that. Just the sad realization that I had spent 24 years of my life trying to sell myself like a reject shirt on the CLEARANCE pile at Marshalls. The free drinks, the bad pick-up lines, the awkwardly staring at girls across the bar trying to overcome the paralyzing fear of actually speaking to them - all of that wasted.

Suddenly all of that blood, sweat and Red Bull that I put into being single came rushing back to my memory.

And now? Now that I'm happily married and just trying to stay out past 11 on a Friday?