October 25, 2007

Sucio!

Dear Man Standing At the Computer Across from Me at the Public Library,

Please stop looking up and glaring in my direction. Just because I'm not
making eye contact with you doesn't mean I don't see you out of my peripheral
view. It's making me uncomfortable. I came to the library to return some DVDs
and to check my email, but really... when you sneak lascivious glances at
people, at women... it makes them feel uncomfortable. It's bad enough
these teenagers are hovering like a pack of hungry hyenas, waiting to jump on a
computer to check their Facebook and Myspace pages... but really... this is ridiculous.
Also, stop shaking the effing table when you lean forward and more
importantly, stop aiming your juicy, phlegmy coughs in my direction sans covering your mouth! Considering you're facing me, those particular germs are making their make toward me, laughing maniacally as they shower me in a curtain of bacteria and sickness. I can hear them giggling over the prospect of inhabiting a fresh new host, every time you hack and cough with reckless abadnon! I cannot afford to get sick. It's uncomfortable, I hate it, and I can't focus when I'm congested with mucus.