** BREAKING NEWS ** Trump expands border wall plans to Canada

Since hijacking office and testing the patience of the US last Friday Trump has now signed yet another audacious Executive Order which will see a wall also built across the Canadian border in order to cut off escape routes for Americans to flee the country.

The White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer assured the media, with two brown shirts at either side of him, that; “the wall will be cost effective and is in no way intended to prevent anyone with a moral compass from leaving the US”. With a flurry of criticism coming from the press in the West Wing Spicer handled the situation with grace and composure by telling the media to go fuck themselves and stormed out of the room.

Despite President Trump’s blatant attempts to trap the country in a Republican dystopia the Executive Order has had its benefits as reports released today indicate booming profits in the Airline Industry as many Americans seek a one way ticket to anywhere outside the US. In his response Trump provided alternative facts about the proposed wall confirming that it will be so high the planes will not be able to fly over it. Trump said; “Folks its gonna be a really great wall… I mean really great. Air Force One couldn’t even fly over what we’re gonna build. In fact… I don’t think even my ego is as high as this wall.” The President’s confidence and ignorance was inspiring.

Gen Y Bother has been unable to reach President Trump’s office for any further comment on the issue but was fortunately able to get a comment from the First Lady Melania Trump. In her response which went entirely off topic she stated; “I am extremely proud that my eldest daughter Malia will be attending Harvard in the fall”. Perplexed by her remarks we have chosen not to respond.