Of L’affair Clemens/McCready, Newsday’s Wallace Matthews opines, “aside from the age of his alleged mistress at the time of their meeting, this is one big non-story.” And that’s a very important distinction, as Matthews seems quite fixated on the age of the Rocket’s alleged mistress.

A ballplayer who cheats on his wife? I am shocked. A young girl who is seduced by the “charms” of an older man, said charms consisting mainly that he has his picture on bubblegum cards and an obscenely outsize paycheck? I am double-shocked.

The fact that she was 15 and he 28? Well, that one is a little tougher to get around, but these days, 15 is the new 30. Ask Miley Cyrus and her dad, who had no problem posing for an Annie Leibovitz photo spread with his scantily clad teenage daughter — looking creepily like his girlfriend — which, of course, was the only way that has-been was ever getting into Vanity Fair.

I’m going to have a much tougher time explaining that one to my 7-year-old daughter, who worships at the altar of Hannah Montana, than I am the reality of a warped world in which supposedly grown men feel they can avail themselves of anything and everything they want whenever they want it. Besides, if the State of Tennessee wants to pursue the matter of the Rocket and the Schoolgirl, I say have at it.

We don’t know if Clemens was having “an affair” or “a romance” with the underage McCready, the two coy terms applied to the association by the Daily News, or if Clemens was simply assuming a mentoring role with his young friend, knowing as we do how strongly he feels about serving as a role model for young people.

“I pride myself as an example for kids,” Clemens said under oath to Congress in February. “If I am guilty of anything, it is of being too trusting of everyone, wanting to see the best in everyone, being too nice to everyone.”

See, it could be as simple and innocent as that.

Then again, to believe a 28-year-old man could strike up a platonic 10-year friendship with a winsome 15-year-old is kind of like believing the only member of the Clemens family to use HGH was Roger’s wife, Debbie.

Though I’m somewhat comforted to know Wally finds the voice behind “Achy Breaky Heart” as worthy of a cheap shot as say, Jose Reyes, I don’t see the parallels between the Clemens/McCreedy allegations and a veteran entertainer’s photo session.

I believe on DATELINE’s TO CATCH A PREDATOR the excuse is usually, “Uh, I saw myself more as a mentor ….” Clemens needs to clear his name, so I hope his FBI handlers can get him another Congressional hearing before the All-Star Break. McCready is admitting it in the NY DAILY NEWS today, and I can only wonder what blood stained items Brian McNamee has saved all this time.

As for it being a “non-story,” the Rocket did take up the time and money of a full Congressional committee on Capitol Hill, an on-going FBI investigation, and ruthlessly tried to destroy what’s left of Brian McNamee to save his own name based on his word alone as golden — so, yeah, it’s a story.

This column is great because we get to learn more about the Wally Mathews morality scale. Cheating on your spouse when everyone does it? Eh, no big deal. Struggling in April when you’re Latino? Off to the gulag!

On the other hand, it’s incredibly frightening to think anyone would agree to reproduce with Wally, and I can only hope he runs down his daughter’s grades like he does the Mets.

“I had an affair with her, but it was not sexual” is the new “I only injected B12 into my ass”. Can’t wait to see what replaces “…then why don’t I have a third ear growing out of my forehead?!?” Can’t wait.

Maybe Clemens is banking on the Clinton-Lewinsky argument over what “inappropriate” and “sex” is.

Anyway, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy and all, but, Clemens’ continuing attempts to make himself into the new Barry Bonds is much appreciated by me in equalizing the whole steroids debate into an MLB-wide problem, and not just an evil doers v good guys issue. Still, I hope Bob Costas will continue in his public support of Clemens, if only for the entertainment value of seeing Costas push the envelope on reality even more.