Party Like A Scotsman!
The 10th Annual Exit Zero Burns Supper will take place January 23 at the Ugly Mug, and there are many reasons this might be your fave event of the year…

1. If you like doing fun things on cold winter nights, instead of sitting at home counting the weeks until Memorial Day.

2. If you are a common kind of man or woman. You see, the night is held in honor of Robert Burns, an 18th-century Scottish poet who was the first to write in — and celebrate — not the voice of an uppity elite, but of the common, blue-collar guy. Maybe you haven’t heard of Burns, but it’s likely you’ve heard some of his work. We bet “Auld Lang Syne” rings a bell…

3. If you like delicious food. This is obviously not true in the case of EZ Facebook friend Glenn Barrie, who wonders if the Geneva Convention once declared haggis a weapon of mass destruction, but never mind that. Haggis is simply a tasty mix of meat, oatmeal and spices, and no, it is no longer prepared in the casing of sheep’s stomach. For the less adventurous set, there is a vegetarian haggis available, as well as fish and chips. But c’mon… be adventurous. “I actually ate haggis for the first time at the 2013 Burns Supper and I found it quite tasty,” says Burns vet Anthony Bruno. Also… the Scottish egg appetizer? That’s worth the trip in itself.

4. If you like great music. The Irish Pipe Brigade — who admit that even they consider themselves Scottish on Burns night — will be on hand once again to entertain with a mix of Irish, American, and (mostly) Scottish tunes. And to balance their beers on their drums while they play. “The instruments become $700 beer holders,” says Pipe Master Kevin Tolan. “This is really a neat event that draws a fun group of people.”

5. If you like mediocre music. (We can’t be held responsible if EZ staffers occasionally grab the mic.)

6. If you’re the kind of man/woman who likes seeing men/women in kilts. Or, if you are the kind of man/woman who likes being a man/woman in a kilt. Of course, men/women are not required to wear kilts. Unless said men/women have exceptionally good-looking legs.

7. If you like cute cats and dogs. All the proceeds from this year’s dinner will benefit Animal Outreach of Cape May County, which provides assistance to pet owners in need, sponsors strays, and provides foster care for both felines and canines. “We are very appreciative of the support,” said AO President Ellen Shaw, who explained that this donation will go largely toward the paying of veterinary bills. (Sidenote: Animal Outreach is always in need of new foster parents to provide housing and care — AO will cover your expenses. What a great way to start the new year… we’re just saying.)

8. If you like a bargain. Tickets are $35 each. Purchase them at ezstore.us/burns-supper before it’s too late; this event usually sells out quickly.

9. If you like that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from sharing good cheer with good company.

Until then… stay warm, Cape May.

7-Eleven Mystery
We’ve all been wondering what the deal is with 7-Eleven on Broadway. So we called the corporate office. Apparently, they are still wondering as well. “I learned that we closed the operating store on Thursday [December 12],” said Margaret Chabris, Director of Corporate Communications, before adding, “I do not know its disposition.” We’re assuming its disposition is probably sad, since no one seems to know what to do with it. What we do know: All of the 7-Eleven signage is gone and there was a full dumpster in the parking lot the other day.

Where To Bring Your Canned Goods
East Lynne Theater Company is accepting nonperishable items for the Cape May Food Closet. What is needed are cans of fruit, paper towels, and toilet paper. Any canned food items will be accepted, as long as they are not expired. Bring an item to the December 13 performance of ELTC’s Christmas with Harte and O. Henry and save $3 off your admission price. Attend the December 14 matinee, and part of your admission money will benefit Cape Regional Medical Center Auxiliary.
Bring canned and non-perishable goods to Cape May Brewing Company for the Community Food Bank of New Jersey, and you’ll get $2 off your growler fill. They’ll also discount your first tasting.

Now through December 17, bring non-perishable food items to the Cape May Fire Department, or the First Presbyterian Church of Cape May, to benefit the Cape May Food Closet.

Music For The Yuletide Season With The Baltimore Consort
On 12/19, Access to Art will present the famed Baltimore Concsort with “Wassail, Wassail! Music for the Yuletide Season,” old carols and dance tunes from the British Isles, France, Spain, and Appalachia at 7pm at Willow Creek Winery (628 Stevens Street). The BC, founded in 1980 to perform the instrumental music of Shakespeare’s time, performs across the world. On this night, an evening of mulled wine, and selected wines from the vinyeard will be available to those who wish to purchase them to accompany the concert. Tickets for the concert are $25 for adults, and $20 for seniors. Send checks to Access to Art, Inc, 417 E Pacific Avenue, CMCH, NJ, 08210. Call 609-465-3963 to reserve. Tickets available at the door beginning at 6pm the night of.

Kiwanis Trivia Night
On 12/19, show ‘em what you got at the Kiwanis Club House, 1041 Beach Ave. Cape May. $5. donation at the door. Snacks will be available.

40th Candlelight House Tour
On 12/28, this self-guided tour, the main attraction of Cape May’s holiday season, features homes, inns, hotels, and churches decorated for the holidays, plus caroling, and strolling musicians. Hospitality centers offer warm beverages and traditional treats. Includes admission to the Physick Estate, 1048 Washington Street, and the Carriage House Gallery. Continuous shuttle servie is offered on heated trolleys. Lasts from 5:30-8:30pm. Adults are $25, children are $20 (ages 3-12). Visit capemaymac.org.

Bird Seed Sale
On 1/4 and 1/5, stock up on your bird seed at the Nature Center of Cape May. Maintaining bird feeders is a great way to benefit birds during the cold winter months, when wild food is scarce. Don’t miss these great opportunities to stock up on birdseed for the winter AND support the Nature Center of Cape May. Special discounts are available the first weekend of each month, so plan your seed shopping accordingly.

Sports Talk With Celebrities
On 1/18, you’ll want to attend this open forum at Convention Hall where fans can connect with some of the area’s most recognized members in sports media. 2-4:30pm. Contact 609-884-9565.

Teen Dance
On 1/24, older kids will have a chance to cut a rug to the sounds of a DJ at Convention Hall from 6:30pm to 9:30pm. Contact 609-884-9565.

Adult Ballroom Dancing
Nothing will help you keep the spark alive like a night of ballroom dancing with the Fred Hall Orchestra at Convention Hall. Contact 609-884-9565.

WEEKLY EVENTS

THEATER
Playing Now At Cape May Stage: Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol: We all know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge…but what ever happened to Jacob Marley? Chained and shackled, Marley is condemned for all eternity, but when a malicious little evil sprite offers a desperate Marley one chance to free himself, he accepts. To escape his own chains, he must first redeem Scrooge. So begins a journey of laughter and terror, redemption and renewal. This irreverent, funny, and ultimately, deeply moving story retells Dickens’ classic with warmth and infectious zest. This thrilling performance is sure to become a holiday classic for generations to come. Through December 29. Performed at The Robert Shackleton Playhouse.

Santaland Diaries: A struggling young writer takes a job as a Christmas elf at Macy’s in New York City, and offers a sardonic, witty, irreverent accounting of elf training, bad Santas, abusive customers, and humiliating conditions. Go deep into the heart of Christmas as it exists in our consumerized world and get our holiday in high gear with this hilarious one-man show. Through December 29. Performed at Congress Hall.

Call 609-770-8311.

Playing Now At East Lynne Theater
Christmas With Harte and O. Henry: “There are three cousins, a half-uncle, a kind of brother-in-law – that is, the brother of my sister-in-law’s second husband – and a niece. That’s six. They’ve written to me for money, seeing my name in the paper ez hevin’ made a strike. But I’ve never met ‘em, and I want to give them a Christmas party, and I’d like you to run it for me,” explained Dick Spindler to the widow Huldy Price.

“Run it for you! Man alive! What are you thinking of?” responded the widow.

How this Christmas party comes together in the town of Rough and Ready, who ends up coming, and how they all behave, is all part of the fun in Dick Spindler’s Family Christmas by Bret Harte.

Meanwhile, another miner, Cherokee, wants to share his new-found fortune with old friends and all the children in Yellowhammer. How the townsfolk try to make Cherokee’s Christmas plans come true is at the core of O. Henry’s humorous and insightful story, “Christmas by Injunction.”

Both stories were adapted by ELTC’s artistic director Gayle Stahlhuth who began performing her own one-person plays in 1981 at venues including The Smithsonian, with Lou: The Remarkable Miss Alcott. Through December 14. Call 609-884-5898.

ROLLER SKATING (at Convention Hall beginning December 20)
Adult Skate: Open to those 18 and older. Held on Tuesdays, starting January 7, from 7pm to 9pm.

Toddler Skate: Held every Friday morning, starting on January 3 from 9:30am to 11:30am.

Open Skate: Open roller skating is offered on Fridays from 4pm to 6pm and from 7pm to 9pm, on Saturdays and Sundays from 1pm to 3pm and from 4pm to 6pm.

Cape May Convention Hall will be closed for roller skating on Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.

Guests may bring their own standard or in-line skates or they can rent them from our facility. Admission fee is $5 per person. Skate rental is $2 for traditional skates and $4 for in-line skates. Admission for non-skaters is $2.
Skaters can take a break from the action and enjoy soft drinks, water, and light snacks at the concession stand for affordable prices.

Roller skating at Cape May Convention Hall will continue through Sunday, April 6 and then resume in December of 2014 for the winter season.

The skating program offers an early day toddler skate, birthday parties, and private parties. Please contact the Recreation Department at 609-884-9526 for more information.