Somewhere last week, while they whined and wallowed in Chapel Hill at the thought of the mean, vindictive NCAA, Lane Kiffin had to laugh.

That or become violently ill.

We have seen the new NCAA, everyone—and there’s nothing refreshing or redeeming about it.

That’s either really good news for Miami and Oregon, or really bad news—depending on how each university plays ball with its current NCAA investigations.

Forget about right or wrong or fair or unfair when it comes to USC and its now legendary haircut from the NCAA a few years back. All that matters is this: Six weeks ago, USC gave away 10 elite players to its competition on National Signing Day.

You want to hurt teams that cheat? Hit them where it matters most: scholarships.

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“It’s hard to see other guys go to other schools,” Kiffin, the Trojans' head coach, says, “knowing you could have gotten them.”

Meanwhile, back in the land of make believe, those in Chapel Hill are steaming mad because the NCAA eased off the gas for the suddenly reformed. This is what we’ve learned from North Carolina’s great NCAA escape: Those who assist in the investigation of their own wrongdoing—no matter how awful—will be treated better than those who do everything they can to fight it.

The NCAA last week wrapped up a case against North Carolina so disgusting in its depth and breadth of pure cheating (see: impermissible benefits, academic fraud; an assistant coach steering players to agents), the only thing more stunning than the violations was the kid gloves prosecution.

For what one BCS athletic director told me was the worst NCAA case he had seen since SMU in the 1980s, North Carolina was given a one-year postseason ban and a loss of 15 scholarships over three years.

“You’ve just told everyone the risk is worth the reward,” a BCS athletic director said.

As long as you beg for forgiveness when you’re caught.

There’s a reason Oregon is setting up its NCAA case for summary disposition; a reason the Ducks are trying to make a filthy moment in the rise of the strongest program on the West Coast go away as quickly as possible.

The NCAA, it seems, loves the great unwashed. Especially if they come down to the river, hat in hand, and lay their troubles down.

Oregon paid street agent Willie Lyles $25,000 for bogus recruiting information, and it just so happened that Lyles was the mentor (or whatever you want to call it; I call it scumbag) of five-star tailback Lache Seastrunk. When this was uncovered, Ducks coach Chip Kelly tried to cover it up by telling Lyles to provide phony recruiting information after the fact.

Is that really any different than the NCAA declaring USC assistant coach Todd McNair “knew or should have known” Reggie Bush was accepting impermissible benefits from street agent Lloyd Lake?

Is it really any worse than Miami allowing Ponzi schemer Nevin Shapiro access to its program, and ignoring obvious signs of a rogue booster handing out impermissible benefits like bottled water in the steamy South Florida summer?

Yet here is the obvious difference: USC fought its prosecution all the way, even went through an appeal process. The Trojans were so defiant, they kept McNair—the key figure in the case—employed until after the sanctions were levied against the program.

North Carolina fired Blake (he officially “resigned”) almost immediately, and longtime athletic director Dick Baddour resigned at the end of the school year.

Oregon has kept Kelly and his plausible deniability defense, yet is setting up a summary disposition case with the NCAA. What does that mean, you ask?

It means we don’t disagree with all statements made by the NCAA in response to Oregon’s alleged violations—but we don’t admit guilt. In other words: It happened, but we didn’t know it happened.

For this, the NCAA will have mercy. Just like it did with North Carolina, which claimed it had no idea what Blake was doing, or that an academic tutor committed multiple counts of fraud.

Meanwhile, USC just finished its first recruiting class without 10 scholarships taken away by the NCAA. There are two more years of 10 scholarship reductions (20 more total) on the way—three years and 30 scholarships that could debilitate the program unless every player recruited over that span pans out with significant contributions.

“We can’t get into a situation over the next three years where guys are transferring out,” Kiffin said. “We need guys that can stick here and compete. We can’t take risks.”