Best Third Lip: Courteney Cox

Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Like there’s a slab of ice sitting on top of her mouth preventing her from proper pronunciation.

It’s quite an accomplishment to out-Third Lip the Granny Freeze. But somehow Courteney Cox, she found a way. This served her well when she lost out to Toni Collette for Best Actress Comedy. Because according to many experts, it was hers for the taking. Which is why she looked like she wanted to strangle a bitch when she realised she lost. You would not have wanted to be one of her staff members last night. Then again, if you’ve been reading long enough, you already know that.