(Closed) He lost his job

So we were sort of planning our wedding even though I don’t have a ring yet just because it’s fun and I like coming up with a number of how much we should save. I’m still in college and commuting from home with my parents, he lives at home but was saving to move out then we’d move in together. He’s joining the reserves to get ahead in his education, get experience, and make money. But last night he just lost his job on the same night I started mine. My job is just on weekends and while I get about 25-30 hours so far it’s not much. What are we going to do? It seems like every time we get closer to being real adults with independent respectable lives life just kicks us down. We live in a rural area so full time jobs that make more than minimim wage are few and far between. ?I guess I just need to talk about it or come up with ideas to make money?

Your guy can work two part time jobs if he has to, right? So, that’s a thought.

You could get a second job or do work-study for more hours, too.

I am sure you’re very disappointed and discouraged but don’t be. This is the first “down” you two will have as a couple. Work on how you handle that “down” and it will make handling the upcoming “downs” in your life easier.

My husband and I were just talking the other day about *grown-up* vs *not grown-up* and what people’s perceptions are of what constitutes *being an adult*. In our town, there is an astounding number of chronological adults who can’t/don’t hold a job for more than a few months at a time, miss work once every week or two with alarming regularity due to partying/drinking/hangovers, couch surf and freeload for the roof over their heads but can afford to sit in the bar drinking for 30 hours a week or so (I’m their bartender lol) and so on. At the same time, I know 20 year olds who go to work everyday come hell or high water or are going to Uni full time and working every weekend and getting decent grades while maintaining their own small dwelling or apartment.

Don’t get caught up in what it means to be *grown up*. It isn’t the go-getter career, or a decent newish automobile or home ownership or cool gadgets and toys. Being mature, being a grown-ass adult means doing whatever it takes. Three shitty jobs? check. No cable or iPhone? check. Cutting off all unessential extras to have enough fuel to get back and forth to three shitty jobs? check. Not borrowing, mooching, freeloading from others while you sit around watching cable tv or playing video games? check. Congrats. You’re a real, live bona fide grown up.

If you know what needs to be done and you do it consistently for as long as it takes to get it done even when it isn’t much fun, that constitutes being a grown up in my opinion.