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I didn't like it, so sue me: The worst of OLTL 2013:
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Dorian and Blair team up to take down Mitch Laurence, as he comes close to discovering just what they are up to. Dorian hands Blair a key as Mitch walks in on them at Capricorn. Dorian tries to convince him that he is her number one priority and not Blair.

Mitch Laurence's hand keeps getting bloodier as he keeps trying to open the crypt in the secret room. He feels that whatever is inside will keep him Lord of the Manor forever.

The real Asa has returned, as he takes on his role as the head of the Buchanan family and offers comfort to Viki, they are baffled at the strange behavior of Nigel, when Asa offers Bourbon. The key word sends him straight to the arms of the "mother" from outer space. As he calls Roxy, Viki overhears that Natalie is with her and follows.

Viki warns Roxy that if she ever hurts Natalie again, she will have to answer to her. Nigel (in a trance) defends Roxy. When Roxy hears her key word, she rushes into Nigel's arms, as a shocked Asa walks in.

"What in God's name happened to you to make you who you are?" Jessica wants to know. She's arrived at Llanfair to pick up her car and Mitch has persuaded her to allow him to replace its air filter. Her vintage sky-blue Mustang convertible glints in the dull garage. Their heated discussion has turned to family. Mitch describes his childhood to his biological daughter. "The man prayed for hours and he made sure we did, too. We prayed every day. In the broom closet," he recalls. "He would lock us in there without any light." Mitch's savagely strict evangelical father blamed his sons for their mother's desertion of the family for another man. The day Mitch finally stood up to his father's oppression and ran off, his younger brother, Walker, died. Mitch's father blamed him for the boy's drowning. So the next time daddy demanded dark prayers, Mitch abided. He blamed himself, too. He confesses to Jess, "I've never told another living soul that."

Meanwhile, Dorian is grateful Mitch is distracted long enough for her to fetch Blair from Llanfair's latest secret dungeon. Thinking she's been discovered by Mitch, Blair almost bashes her aunt's skull Janet Green-style with a crowbar. Their relief to see each other is quickly overshadowed by Dorian's disgust at the portrait of Victor with a young Viki. The Cramer women get to work investigating the strange coffin-like box that Mitch has unearthed. Dorian opens Mitch's research book and quickly discovers the box is booby-trapped. Perusing it further, they realize that two pages have been stuck together like one. The page Mitch has missed contains clear hieroglyphics for safely opening the box. Blair navigates the push buttons on its sides and together they grasp the circular key on its lid and twist. A heartbeat later, the top springs open on its own. The box appears to only be filled with sand. But Dorian has come this far, so she plunges her delicate wrist down to the bottom and pulls up something amazing. Shaking the granules off its pouch, she cups a perfect diamond as big as her fist.

Mitch is finished with his story and asks Jessica for her understanding. His upbringing contributed to his decision to see his daughter raised well by Viki and Clint. "You're the only family I have," he beseeches. He asks to hug her, but she declines. He persists and having no room next to the car to evade him, she pushes him back into the industrial shelves against the wall. He shrieks in pain as an open container of a liquid substance falls over, drenching and burning his head and face.

"It's the Badra diamond," Dorian exhales, pronouncing its name with a gypsy roll on the consonants. Blair's never heard of it, but Victor spoke of it often. Dorian never knew he actually had it. She rationalizes the reason for it's clandestine location in the house is its legendary curse: "Anyone who ever owned it, would go insane and die." That's enough for Blair. She's instantly reminded of the Cramer curse and thinks they should plunge it back into the sand. But Dorian confidently declares ownership. They replace the lid and crawl out of the dirt pit in their high heels. As Dorian praises the diamond's ability to distract her from her claustrophobia, the dungeon room door suddenly closes, leaving them trapped inside.

Viki spends a quiet day at her new home and receives a couple of visitors. Asa stops by to discuss the judge that swindled her family out of their inheritance. Asa has learned that he's in trouble for tax fraud, but the evidence has gone missing. Viki is sure Mitch has it. As Asa leaves, Lois comes to the door in her maid uniform. Viki hurries her into the main room where Lois presents Mitch and Dorian's prenuptial agreement. They both marvel at its strange clause: Dorian inherits nothing if Mitch dies of "suspicious causes."

Al answers his cell phone at the garage, "Hey, Brad! Where you at?" But it's Marcie calling from the diner, demanding, "Where you at?" He's late for their tutoring session, but it'll have to wait while he scores some more speed. At a table in Marcie's station handpicked by Matthew, Bo and Nora share an after-movie sundae with their son. While the little tyke is hosing down the joint with whipped cream, Gabrielle apologizes to Nora for intercepting Sam's confession from the grave. Nora's rebuttal is interrupted with the news that Lindsay has tried to escape from St. Anne's. But Bo is off the clock of criminality and he's completely focused on Matthew. He secretly promises to turn on the police siren and flashing lights for their ride home. The little boy puts his tiny hand into Bo's palm and they leave Gabrielle behind.

Nora is convinced that Lindsay deliberately flung herself down a staircase to evade the tight security of the nuns. Hospital security has yet to arrive. Troy has treated her for a concussion, some bruises, and a twisted ankle in the ER. Lindsay is insisting she must pick up her kids, because Sam is in court, "where he always is." When Troy tries to explain current events, she starts screaming uncontrollably, "Sam can't be dead!" Troy is forced to sedate her as Nora looks on somewhat sympathetically.

Conversing with Marcie at the diner's counter, Gabrielle learns that there was no "auxiliary list" of books for which she gave her son a hundred dollars. Al finally pops into the diner and is immediately confronted by his mom. But Marcie covers for him, saying she was confused about the "supplementary material." He whisks his tutor away before mumsy can ask any more questions. The young academics go to the garage where Marcie confronts Al with what she has suspected: he's doing drugs. She describes a diet medication she was prescribed that produced the same flighty, irritable side effects. He denies it and becomes more agitated. Referring to his obsession with Jennifer, Marcie warns, "I'd hate to see you trade one addiction for another." She begins to quote her hero, The Voice of The Night, but Al stops her cold. He snaps, "The Voice of The Night is an idiot!"

"You might as well forget it, Dorian. You can't get a signal in hell!" Cell phones don't work in the depths of Llanfair. Unable to open the dungeon door with pure Cramer muscle, Dorian and Blair trace their steps: the door closed when they closed the lid on the box. In a frantic effort to recreate the sequence, Blair misfires and a spiky dagger impales her wrist. As with Mitch, a rapid infection takes hold. Using a scarf, Dorian fashions a makeshift bandage. Continued efforts to open the box fail. Blair wonders, "What are we going to do if Mitch finds out?" Dorian is ferocious in her resolve to destroy him. They bicker over who should have the opportunity to kill him. Blair realizes that Dorian thwarted her attempt on his life because there hadn't been a wedding yet. However, murderous motives are not helping them out of their current predicament. Blair even faints onto Dorian's lap at one point mumbling, "It's cursed." Dorian wakes her gently, and then has a full blown panic attack, screaming and banging on the stubborn door.

Mitch screeches, "My eyes, my eyes!" Jessica runs for help to no avail. She flushes the rust remover from his tender pupils with the garden hose and drives them to the hospital, where Troy is pondering his responsibility in Sam's death. Nora concedes that Lindsay's dementia is no act, but she'll never be able to give Troy the forgiveness he seeks. Jessica presents Mitch in the ER. He can't see. In his hospital room, he cries out for Jessica repeatedly, begging her not to "leave [him] in the dark." His daughter's repulsion is now mixed with guilt and she consents to seeing him through his blindness ordeal.

Flash and Riley's band is playing their version of Live's "Lightning Crashes" for the gang at the garage, including Marcie. Al comes back, sees Marcie sitting there alone, and dumps his blue capsules into the dumpster before leaving for coffee at the diner. Joey enters the garage as the song builds. Flash's eyes brighten when she sees him. She starts singing harder. R.J. makes the scene in a cool, crisp suit and decides to compromise on his previous music biz demands. Overjoyed, Flash gives Joey a big hug. Joey pushes Flash to make that call to C.J. using his cell phone—she does so privately, but hangs up when C.J. answers.

Antonio and Carlotta lament their family's tribulations. Cole hits the diner and Antonio greets him like a friend. Carlotta doesn't get it, but Antonio explains he's "keeping [his] enemies closer." Marcie catches up with Al pouring endless sugar into his cup. She apologizes for her accusation. Now Al can honestly say he's not doing drugs. He expresses his desire for a career in broadcasting, but Marcie doesn't think he could ever compare to The Voice of The Night. She'd "do anything to meet him!" Despite this slight, their conversation is very warm and positive. Al thanks her for her friendship as he leaves. He backtracks to the garage dumpster looking for his drugs. Jen catches him and he pretends he accidentally tossed his keys in there. Inside the garage, R.J. and Cole have a brief chat about recruiting Rex for Cole's "crew." When approached, Rex tosses his hat into their criminal ring. Jen observes this and wants in, but Rex retorts, "Back off, little girl. You're starting to cross the line."

Marcie goes back to work, but there's a problem with her favorite radio show. She tears out of the diner blustering past Jennifer, confusing Carlotta, and bellowing, "The Voice of The Night is in trouble!" Nora spies Jen and apprises her of her mother's accident. Jen arrives at her mom's hospital room where Lindsay pleads, "You're all I have. Please don't leave me here all alone."

The reel-to-reel tape has stopped spinning. Marcie barges into the silent studio of the college radio station and tries to wake a sleeping disc jockey. "Al? What are you doing here?"

At the hospital, Lindsay continues to drift in and out of reality. Lindsay reveals to Bo that Mitch gave her the gun she used to kill Sam. Jessica tells Mitch that the doctor believes his blindness will be permanent. Feeling guilty over her role in the accident, Jessica promises Mitch that she won't leave him. Viki and Natalie are stunned when Jessica announces that she is going to spend the night at the hospital at Mitch's side. A clever Dorian figures out how to trip the mechanism opening the door to the secret chamber, allowing her and Blair to escape with the diamond. Dorian reiterates to Blair her desire to regain the Lord fortune and get revenge against Mitch for the sake of all the Cramer women. Bo becomes angry when Blair tells him she decided not to testify against Mitch. Dorian is delighted when she learns of Mitch's blindness as she feels it will make her plan for revenge that much easier. Al denies to Marcie that he is The Voice of the Night. Al covers his reason for being at the radio station by claiming he came there to try to find out the identity of The Voice of the Night for Marcie. Al, who is suffering from withdrawal from the pills, claims to be coming down with the flu. After Marcie takes Al home, he steals some of her diet pills. Al feels guilty when Marcie thanks him for being a friend. Jen, already on edge after witnessing Lindsay's break with reality, becomes angry when she learns that Natalie and Cristian are engaged. Carlotta blames Natalie for upsetting Jen and is taken aback to realize Natalie is wearing Cristian's engagement ring. Natalie defends herself to Carlotta and says that although Carlotta's blessing is important to her, she won't put her life on hold for Carlotta's sake. Joey and Rex clash when they run into each other at the gym. Joey warns Rex not to try to take advantage of Jen or Jessica

While interviewing applicants for his new chauffer, Asa drops a wad of cash, which Rex quickly pockets. Seeing the action, Renee promptly fires him and suggests that he not cross Asa. Deciding to confront Roxanne, Renee is shocked when she finds Nigel and Roxy kissing. Her confusion grows when Nigel insists that he is in love and asks Roxy to marry him.

At the diner, Carlotta tells Cristian that Natalie is coming between them, but Cris insists that it is his mother that is causing the problems. After Natalie shows up to show Cris the wedding magazine that Roxy picked up for her, Carlotta warns Nat that Cristian will never choose her over his mother. Cristian later applies for the position with Asa and is hired.

Insisting that she is concerned for her husband, Dorian stays at the hospital, despite his insistence that the only person he wants is his daughter. While in the hallway, Dorian realizes that Lindsay is in the room across the hall. After prying information out of her, Dorian promises that Mitch will get what he deserves.

Joey's concern for his sister grows when Jessica insist that she stand by her father. When she leaves, he rushes to the hospital to confront Mitch and warns him not to hurt his little sister. At the park, Cole spots Jessica and tries to talk to her. When Antonio warns him to leave her alone, the two fight.