Imagine lifestyle you want when picking home

The veterinarian and his wife, a teacher, knew they had to move because their house wasn't large enough to accommodate them and their five school-age children. Their only question was where to go.

Instead of turning to a real estate agent for help, they called Doro Kiley, a life coach they'd been consulting on various issues for several years.

"People work with a coach when they feel stuck and want to change -- whether it's their house, career, relationships or spiritual life," Kiley says.

Before addressing the financial and practical realities of their home-buying decision, Kiley introduced some mental exercises to the couple to prepare them. It took a while, but the process clarified the type of home best suited to them.

Kiley says that before starting a home search, buyers should first imagine what their ideal home would look like. That way, you're more likely to get close to the best possible match.

"Always begin by thinking about the end product -- what you'd really like as opposed to what you would settle for. In many ways, we create our own realities," Kiley says.

Once you have a clear vision of your ideal home and location, you can begin taking into account the practical realities, including budgetary constraints and commuting distances.

-Use paper-and-pencil to plan how you want to proceed. Kiley says the couple should first write down their individual visions of a dream house -- including location and home features. They then should share their visions, combining the key elements of both into a single statement.

Written statements help people clarify their thinking. They're also a way to help reconcile differing views, according to Kiley.

Merrill Ottwein, a real estate broker and former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents, suggests that prospective home buyers resolve their differences by distinguishing between "wants" and "needs."

For instance, a couple with four young children might decide that finding a place with five bedrooms is a genuine "need." A formal dining room may be in their "want" category.

-Give special thought to commuting distances. As Ottwein says, one of the trade-offs many families face is between a larger, newer house with a longer commute and a smaller, older place that's closer to the city and the workplace.

But before you opt for a distant suburb, he strongly recommends you do morning and afternoon rush-hour test-drives. This way, you'll know what sort of traffic to expect if you buy there, he says.

-Think twice about a large yard. Many people with young children hang on to the hope that their kids will have a large back yard where they can frolic. This can influence them to pick an outlying suburb with a longer commuting time.

But are the trade-offs worth it? Not necessarily, says Ottwein, noting that today's children often spend much more time in organized athletic and recreational activities than did their parents.

-Spend time on your house search. A couple of years ago, those seeking a home in many popular neighborhoods faced fierce competition. They felt pressured to act quickly, lest they lose out to a rival. In the process, Ottwein says many buyers took shortcuts -- often rushing into buying without analyzing whether the property matched their lifestyle.

But a buyer's market has taken root in many neighborhoods -- especially in areas where sellers outnumber would-be purchasers. This means buyers can generally afford to be more meticulous as they move through the selection process, Ottwein says.

"Usually, you don't have to pounce right away for fear you'll miss the chance to buy a great property," he says.