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Tuesday March 25, 2014 11:50 AM

Dear Ohio State University,

I hope you don’t mind the informality. I know that your formal name is
The Ohio State University — which is exactly why I’m writing to you.

For heaven’s sake, stop using that
The.

It sounds arrogant and is easily mocked.

The
Dayton Daily News proved as much with its front-page headline last week after the
University of Dayton upset OSU in the NCAA basketball tournament: “THE University of Dayton,” the
newspaper brayed in big type.

Ouch.

Yes, I know: When the state legislature officially renamed the school in 1878, it specified that
the Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College would henceforth be known as The Ohio State
University.

So what? Tina Fey was born Elizabeth Stamatina Fey. Bolivia is officially the Plurinational
State of Bolivia. You don’t hear them insisting that they be called exactly what’s on their birth
certificates.

We live in an age of informality.

Besides, loudly proclaiming yourself
The, at least in the modern era, really got rolling only in 1986, when an old logo that
said just “OSU” was revamped.

As the University Libraries website explains: “The change from simply OSU was said ‘to reflect
the national stature of the institution.’ ”

No, it doesn’t. It reflects the fact that, among three big OSUs (Ohio, Oklahoma and Oregon), the
school in Columbus is now widely perceived as the pretentious, insecure one.

Granted, Columbus itself was a mass of insecurities in 1986, constantly straining to come up
with the silly slogan or overhyped event that would put it on the national map. So perhaps you were
in step with the times.

But the times have, shall we say, passed thee by.

Columbus still has no image, but that has sort of become its image.

It’s the surprisingly big, surprisingly diverse, surprisingly tolerant city that no one knows
about. Hence, at least once a year, a writer for a national publication visits here, then writes a “
hidden gem” story. Sooner or later, all those hidden-gem stories will add up to fame — but the
town must be careful not to spoil it by bragging excessively in the meantime.

You, on the other hand, have brag built into your name. So you’re undercutting the strategy, not
to mention setting yourself up to be reviled by every underdog-loving sports fan outside “Buckeye
Nation” (that one is no help, either, but it’s not your invention).

So let’s review, OSU: You’ve adopted a formal name in an informal era. It distinguishes you but
not in a desirable way. And it’s at odds with the no-image image of your hometown.