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Topic: Kids say the funniest things (Read 494211 times)

Today at the daycare, one of the teachers asked another what time it was, and the response was "about 4:10". Very shortly thereafter a (recently turned) 2 year old started insisting it was time to go in (we were on the playground) for snack. He was right, it was our normal snack time, but today we were still waiting for snack to be ready, so we told him we would go in for snack soon. The conversation went around in circles a few times,Child: It snack time. Go in for snack now.Teacher: Almost. We'll go in for snack soon.Child: We go in for snack now.Teacher: I know you want to have snack. Snack isn't ready just yet. We will go in for snack soon. ...

Finally, the child apparently had enough of being put off, and very emphatically informed us that, "It 4:10! It snack time!"

When my youngest DS was 4 he wanted to own a chocolate factory like Willy Wonka when he grew up.

DS: "When I'm grown up I'm going to have 2 wives so my kids can have a mother and a negative mother (I think he meant step-mother) in case one gets tired.Me: "Really? How many children are you going to have?"DS: Well, I was going to have 10, but now I'm just going to have 2.Me: "Why is that?"DS: *looking at me like the answer was obvious* "Well, I wouldn't want to confuse the Oompa Loompas!"

My kids think I've completely lost my mind because of how hard I'm laughing. I don't know why I haven't read this thread before now!

Here's a recent one from my 13yo:

We were driving back from Islamorada, which is a bit south of Key Largo. There are numerous "Crocodile Crossing" signs on US1 throughout the Keys. As we passed one of them, DS pipes up and says "Crocodiles: Nature's Speed Bumps".

Ummm, yup, you could say that.

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Some people lift weights. I lift measures. It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Another mother at church told me this one. Her 2 1/2 year old was just recently baptized and since they weren't in church last week, this week was his first time taking communion. She told me on the way back to the pew the little guy said in what she thought was a loud voice, "Boy, that tasted GOOD!" (we have bland wafers and wine and we can either take them separately or dip the wafer in the wine)

I told her the first time my boys had communion at this church the first thing one of them said was "That was some good wine!"

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Me: Guys, what do you want for lunch? Sandwich or a quesadilla?Grace: Sandwich!Emmy: Cake!

I'll have what Emmy's having, please.

DD can't talk yet (5 months old), but she laughs frequently. The most hilarious thing in the house is apparently the cat; she'll crack up just watching him clean his paw. I think his pride has been injured, though--he always leaves the room when she starts giggling. Poor guy.

Piratebabe is the same way with my cat (DH's cat is a little chicken and spends most of the day under a couch and only comes out once the kids are in bed or if she's hungry or needs the litter box then darts back under the couch)

He sees her and squeals and babbles at her as he follows her around the room playing peek-a-boo. She sometimes will let him pet her, as he can do it gently, and he loves when she rubs against him. But he thinks it's absolutely hilarious when either I pet her or she licks me.

Oh and this isn't cat related but doing yoga around this kid is a challenge. I'll be bent over in the sun salutation pose (similar to touching one's toes) and he'll come up behind me and grab my legs and with me having short legs combined with his height it means his face is even with my butt.

Another day I was doing the tree pose and he came up behind me, one arm around my left leg, and the other hand went through the triangle my right leg was forming and pushed down. Yeah, adds a whole new level of trying to balance! LOL!

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

LOL! The other day I was doing some Wii Fit while DD played next to me on the floor, and I took my body test (measures weight and balance). I had to take it three times, though, because the balance board kept getting mad at me for "fidgeting." Well, yeah, it's hard to stay perfectly still when there's a tiny hand plucking at my pant legs.

Me: Guys, what do you want for lunch? Sandwich or a quesadilla?Grace: Sandwich!Emmy: Cake!

I'll have what Emmy's having, please.

Heh. I think we'd all like what Emmy's having. She's on her own planet about 85% of the time. It's especially hilarious because she's so chubby-cheeked and clumsy. It's like observing a drunk squirrel.

Heehee! Reminds me of what Johnny Depp once said about toddlers, that it's like having a miniature drunk around because they drool, stumble and bump into things.

Speaking of squirrels. the babe has this giggle he gets when he sees something he wants where he sounds like a chattering squirrel or chipmunk.

This is unrelated but it made me laugh when MIL first told me about it. For background, FIL is not DH's biological father, but adopted him after marrying MIL. I think DH was maybe 3 when they got married but they were dating for a year or so before that.

Well FIL is good with little kids and he would play hide and seek with Dh, who would take FIL by the hand and hide him, then go away, count and "find" him. Well as MIL tells the story, she once found FIL wedged between the wall of the kitchen and the fridge and had the following conversation.

MIL: What are you doing there? FIL: Playing hide and go seek with K. He put me here.MIL: How long ago?FIL: Oh about a half hour ago.MIL: *laughing* He's been watching tv for the last 20 minutes!

Bless FIL's heart, that just tickled me that he would stand there for half an hour, playing the game even after DH had stopped.

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

... FIL is not DH's biological father, but adopted him after marrying MIL. I think DH was maybe 3 when they got married but they were dating for a year or so before that.

Well FIL is good with little kids and he would play hide and seek with Dh, who would take FIL by the hand and hide him, then go away, count and "find" him. Well as MIL tells the story, she once found FIL wedged between the wall of the kitchen and the fridge and had the following conversation.

MIL: What are you doing there? FIL: Playing hide and go seek with K. He put me here.MIL: How long ago?FIL: Oh about a half hour ago.MIL: *laughing* He's been watching tv for the last 20 minutes!

Bless FIL's heart, that just tickled me that he would stand there for half an hour, playing the game even after DH had stopped.

Heehee! I know, and he's good with our boys as well. Anytime we visit them he takes each of them in turn on a walk or plays with them one on one. We didn't even have the babe's coat off at Christmas when FIL said "Hey, you wanna go see the chickens?" (their neighbors have a coop)

Another funny thing the babe's started doing that is just odd and makes me laugh. He'll get on his hands and knees, put his forehead on the floor and just scoot around on the floor like that. I have no idea why other than maybe he just likes it but it's funny to watch.

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata