Category Archives: funny

Yesterday, my lawn was green. And just like that, one snowfall equals the grand arrival of winter and Christmas and all the mud and crap we’d previously sludged through is now bright, shiny and new! The same can be said … Continue reading →

So my Gazelle Girl damaged one of her hooves. You may have heard about it on my Twitter feed during one of my many #proudmama braggart postings about my track/cross country scholarship-bound spawn. (I swear one of my little ingrates … Continue reading →

*Author’s note: The Iron Uterus is a defunct blog I briefly began and then abandoned in its infancy. I’d like to restart it here to address the ‘mother’ part of my blog. Reader beware – these posts involve the rearing … Continue reading →

We recently vacationed to Vegas with another couple. Young Elvis took the flight over with us. Our first Elvis sighting. Our friends had never been to Vegas, so I’d eagerly been preparing them to see Elvis in all his headlining incarnations, … Continue reading →

Yup. You heard that right. I suck. Big ol’ Dyson-destroying-Hoover robo-vacuum-beat-down suckage of epic proportions. Why, Betsy, why! Because I opened my gigantic maw and got everyone riled up about NaNoWriMo and do the math and write every day you … Continue reading →

So! Yesterday, at the stroke of midnight, did you scribble the thoughts ricocheting off your gray matter and rampageously vomit up a few thousand words because the fire to write your story burned feral through your fingertips?? Did you make … Continue reading →

Meet my alter-ego – The Iron Uterus. Enjoy this post from the past as my Halloween Treat to you! In third grade, while all the other kids wore their store-bought, lead-based painted mask and tissue-thin plastic tunics with superhero abs … Continue reading →

Heyla Friends, I see you’ve all been visiting and it gives me a gigantic thrill in my eager newbie blogger heart to see you here, but then realization of my-porch-light-is-out-so-no-treats-for-you guilt stomps all the fun out of it. I’m sorry! I suffer from the most … Continue reading →

I come up with the best lines when I’m naked in the bathroom. Or at 2:46 a. m., when I’m in that half-fuzzed twilight between awareness and psychedelic sub-consciousness. Neither situation is conducive to preserving the brainstorm brilliance to text … Continue reading →