random thought

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which yourlaughter rises was oftentimes filled with yourtears...When you are joyous, look deep intoyour heart and you shall find it is onlythat which has given you sorrow that is giving youjoy.When you are sorrowful look again inyour heart, and you shall see that in truthyou are weeping for that which has beenyour delight.

-- the prophet on Joy and Sorrow

i have always loved this book.had been my favorite.every time i read this quotei always get the urge to cry.

i was always unhappy,hides away from the pain that i feeland masks my fear and pain in laughter and smiles.i was nothing but a pessimist,always think that maybe it has always been myfault.i never achieved full happiness(yet),i get the impression that i attract bad vibesaround me -finding me in my hiding place.i remember reading that boring book called TheSecret,it says there that whatever you feel and thinkallows you to attract the same type of energyand i thought "wow i understood the book allalong??"

Your friend is your needs answered.He is your field which you sow with love and reapwith thanksgiving.And he is your board and your fireside.For you come to him with your hunger, and you seekhim for peace.

-the prophet on Friendship

i value friends and id fight for themthere are times that i neglected someand was busy tending to only one in particular.i am sorry for the times that i made any of themfeel:-betrayed-neglectedand-forgotten

and there are instances as well,of which we get impulsive andwe can have all the lame reasons to save us fromshame and embarrassment.the point is - friendship gets tested.in one way or another.some surpass the tide and some move along with theebb.thanks to those who had been there for mebe it in presence and prayer.to those who have been listening to my patheticissues in lifeand laughed at my lamest jokes.to those who took me for what i wasand mistook me for what i wasn't.those who saved meand those whom i had savedi was a friendi am a friendalways be a friend.if i might have hurt youor anything for that matter - i sincerelyapologize.----

we do tend to get the better of ourselves.thinking we are strong enough.hiding in the comforts of our tears and fears.keeping everything bottled inside.i did.i hid.like today and the days that had past.dwelling on things i should have shrugged off.and never is healthy.and it WAS never healthy.i used to keep all bottled up feelings hidden.----

everyday is a new day for me.a decision to be happy or not.and beginning today:

i choose to be happy.

and in the process i would be waitingwaiting for that perfect momentwhen the tables would turnthat all the pieces would fit perfectly in my lifeand all the void that i had would be completed.