I know that the Jan Terri videos started appearing around the internet a few years back, but since now that I have a blog to put stuff on, she gets yet another page on the interwebs to display her work.

It all started like this: One day, I was doing my usual web browsing and came across one of her videos, all by itself. Not being the first time I’ve seen Jan in action, I decided to look a little deeper and figure out why. And by “why,” I mean: “Why do these videos exist? Is this woman serious? What is she up to now?”

And I mean that with all due respect, because after researching a little bit about Jan I have come to respect her and her music. She was doing what she loved, and having a good time. Thats more then I can say about my life. Except the good time thing, but that usually involves drinking in my case.

After all, its not Jan’s fault that VHS isn’t the best medium on which to record music videos.

Click on the above links to go to separate Jan Terri related items of interest. On the second link, especially read the really long blog comment. It is quite an interesting tale about an experience with Jan.

Otherwise, just watch the videos. And watch each video in its entirety to get the full effect, not just the first 30 seconds.

After that, leave a comment. Maybe Jan will see it, so be nice.

So now, for the enjoyment of all, I present these embedded videos from YouTube.

They speak for themselves. And as for the poor dubbing, if you watch closely you can actually spot Torgo molesting Jan’s friends.

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210 responses

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ben robinson(22:07:54) :

i genuinely love jan terri’s work. people who sit around doing nothing creative have no idea how difficult it is to do what jan did: actually write the songs, make the videos and have fun while she was doing it.

i am a film-maker working in london, about to make my 1st feature film. i would absolutely LOVE to make Jan’s biopic…i’m sure she’s had an amazing life…

I take my hat off to Jan, would love to know what she’s doing now, and would genuinely like to make a film out of her life story……

Hello good Sir, I am so shocked as to your idea of a biopic about Jan. My good friend and I have been talking about doing exactly the same thing. I think it would make a great film and finally get Jan the true respect and fame she deserves though for the right reasons. Thinking of whom to cast as Jan, Rene Zellweger perhaps?

Well, I’m pretty excited about the prospects of actually finding Jan, but in the meantime…

There is an actual documentary all about Jan – by one Kate Schultz.

“Kate Schultz’s first film was The One, The Only, Jan Terri. She has written a number of screenplays including By Any Other Name. As a child, Kate was a member of Young People’s Theater with the Performing Arts of Woodstock.”

Hi, all. Just found this amazing dialogue about my old friend Janice Spagnolia, aka Jan Terri. It’s wonderful to find people who completely “get” the genius of Jan. I haven’t seen or heard from her in a long, long time and I’m wondering how she’s doing. She has led a pretty rough existence and I hope she’s kicking back and enjoying the fruits of her rock n roll labor. Keep the faith.

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR “THE ONE THE ONLY, JAN TERRI” FOR THE LONGEST TIME!!!!! I have heard that this documentary has been floating around for quite some time but have had no luck locating it. You may have just made my day, no make that my year! If I could watch Jan herself in documentary form, I just may wee myself. Thanks for the info. I’ll keep you updated friend.

Oh, I almost forgot….If you look at her website, her favorite hobbies are “playing the drums and working out”. Kitty, how awesome would it be to have Jan collaborate with us and make a “workout video”??????? I would be the happiest girl in the world! It could be set to her music. Think about this friend……

No! I have tried and tried to find that documentary, and I have hit nothing but dead ends. Same thing with the tunes. I thought I found a site where I could buy mp3’s, but it takes you to some other band when you click to download them. I still am keeping hope alive!

Kitty, I think a pasta dinner would be rockin! What kind of pasta do you think is her favorite? So do you think she is into angel hair, or mabey is she an elbow macaroni girl? Then, what about the sauce? Red or white? Chicken or beef? We should put together something! We could cook a big pasta banquet!! Maybe Gina could pitch her the idea about the workout video idea. I would love to collaborate on that with you Gina, let me know how I can help!

You are right Gina! This site is taking off. Let me expose myself a little bit; I feel a kinship with all of you here. We all saw a pure raw talent in JT and we BELIEVE in her. People need JT whether they know it or not. Music today is full of unoriginal, sex-frenzied, insincere noise. She is, to me (and I think all of you too!) a diamond in the rough. We cannot give up on finding her!
I have an idea. If we can’t find her, maybe she can find us!! I have a little bit of web design knowledge. I propose we create a Jan Terri fansite geared toward finding her. What do you think?

I’ve been sending emails to everyone that might be able to locate the Jan Terri documentary. Today I found this in my inbox:

Michael,

I just looked all around for that video but I can’t find it, I certainly DID have a copy of it at one point, it was a really bad dubbed version though, I think Jan gave it to a co-worker at a record store in the late 1990s. If I come across the video I’ll do my best to get it on Google Video or YouTube. As I remember, it’s pretty entertaining. It has a lot of family interviews, etc.

Get Down Goblin,

Derek

I’m extremely excited about this development – please keep your eyes out for the clip and post if you happen to find it first – there are certainly no guarantees that we’ll ever get to see it – but I’ll take whatever hope I can find.

After reading all of these posts and after I have searched long and hard on some new information on my favorite artist Jan Terri..I am very touched to see all of you on this site and I can soooo tell how loyal fans you guys really are. It really makes me happy. I just want to tell those mean people off on Youtube saying such mean things about such an ICON of music……Let’s just call her our “Angel of Music”….. Glad to be apart of this awesome website!!!!

Kitty…..Be sure to let me know the link to website when you get it up and running.

Sorry I have not been on in a while guys, I was out of the country. Dorvillian, that is excellent news! Hopefully something will come out of it. Kitty, have you been working on that website? It sounds like a really great idea. Let me know if you need any help. Maybe we could have a “jan Terri biggest fan” contest, were people send in videos of themselves pledging their devotion to jan. Just a thought…

Hello Jan Terri Fans! I happen to run a radio station and do 3 other shows on other stations. I ran across her on you tube by looking up the key words ‘worst music videos’. After looking at a few of her videos I started to get into her songs. Alot of the comments I see about her are really harsh. I really see sincerity and the passion that goes into her music. I have to agree though, that she does need some vocal training and that is all I see that needs work. But maybe that is the unique style for Jan? I love the song Loosing you, it has always stuck in my head and I air it in rotation on my station. If anyone knows where to purchase who albums let me know. Maybe they are out of print? Regardless, I am a new fan of hers and would love to send her a positive message. It is nice seeing such nice comments on this website. I am here if anyone wants to start a fan site or list… include me in that:)

Nice site. Good news..I may have a few leads on tracking down the enigmatic Ms. Terri (she’s been reclusive of late.) I played bass in her band (“Jan Terri and the Cool Blues”) back in the ’90s. (I supplied those artyfacts for that link above/below -http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/january2008/you_are_looking_for_clues_here_now/JT/jan_terri_please_come_back_to_claim_my_heart.htm ) (and there’s more Jan goodies where those came from..) How did I end up playing in Jan Terri’s band, you ask? Well, as you may or may not know, Jan never used a live band on her studio recordings. It was all pre-programmed backing trax produced by the infinitely patient, Jerry Soto (R.I.P). Jan would sing her ideas to Jerry, who would then “interpret” them to synth guitar, drums, bass, keys, etc…and Jan would also use these backing trax in her live shows (while she sang live vocals on top). (I have an unreleased (complete) 60-min. vid of one of these shows…you’ll thrill to the sight of Jan dancing with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Billy Ray Cyrus during her cover of “Achy Breaky Heart”…and marvel at her show-stopping (air)guitar solos!)
My route to the world of Jan started when (in ’94) a Polygram Records label friend of mine called frantically, screaming “You HAVE to see this demo reel I just got from this woman limo driver who picked me up at the airport….RIGHT NOW!” (Jan drove a limo by day, rocked ass by night.) So, me and my bandmates (FUR at the time) dropped what we were doing, gathered ’round the TV and watched…in stunned silence. After repeated viewings, utter disbelief slowly turned into reverential awe. We had to experience this woman live… as luck would have it, she was playing the “Possum Pub” in Melrose Park, IL the following weekend! (10 minute road trip)
It was about halfway through this show when we all looked at each other and knew what we had to do. Jan needed a live backing band and we would be it! (This was no money grab on the band’s part. The first “Jan Rule” the band agreed on: We would never take a penny from this woman. The experience of working with her would be payment enough.) So, we talked to her after the show, offered up our services and crossed our fingers. She showed up at our rehearsal space the two days later and “Jan Terri and the Cool Blues” were born…(there’s more to this story-…follow-ups in future posts…)
FYI- I’m currently in the early stages of producing the definitive Jan Terri doc. I’ve been sorting thru hours of raw Jan rehearsal vid., unreleased Jan live show footage, Jan’s Tower Records in-store appearance, Jan’s family interviews, Jan interviews (limo ride-alongs) and lots more surprises…(ever see Jan play a drum solo? No? You will! ) So, if DJ Spike (or any of you Jan-itarium dwellers) wanna create a fan site(s)…go for it…more later…

Wow, that is really neat that you were able to be apart of Jan’s band playing bass. Sounds like a fun experience you had 🙂 Thanks for giving us more info on the band and on Terri. Yeah I would love to start a fan site or help create one with other fans here. Just let me know and we can start some brainstorming and ideas. My e-mail is contained within my website (Just click on my screename). I am anxious to hear more and look forward to helping in any way I can. I do alot of media work in radio, and the internet, so if anyone needs any help or whatever I am here. And won’t charge a thing. It is strictly a passion 🙂

Hmmm I am not sure who is the real Terri I have looked on myspace and see at least two accounts that are in Jan’s name.. so they must be either hers or a tribute accounts. Sorry if I sound obsessed I am not.. I was just looking out of curiosity 😀

Yeah, there is no way those are her myspace. I think most of those are intended to make fun of her. She seems to be flying below the radar these days. On Wikipedia, I noticed that it referred to John Willman of Iowa City, IA as her unofficial biographer. Anyone ever heard of this guy? I tried to do a little searching to figure out who he is, but didn’t get anywhere. I’m still keeping hope alive!

Hey everybody, couldn`t tell the time line of all the above posts but this seems like I came to the right place. I live in Chicago, recently discovered Jan in the last few months and have become obsessed with trying to bring her to the masses. Of course I, like the previous posters, don`t know how I could get a hold of her. Specifically I work with a music venue that would love to showcase her and I am working on some cable access shows I`d love her to be a part of in some way. I`d be willing to help in any way the person doing the definitive documentary as well. So as I continue my search, I wanted to say hello and if anyone gets any leads please reach me at mateoazeske@gmail.com. Good luck with all.

There’s an indication on blockshopper dot com that a Janice Spagnolia sold some property last month (August 2009) in IL, and then there’s another site that makes it look like the property may have gone into foreclosure.

My health is going because of you. I fear for you. What are you doing in this cold world? Who are you with? Does someone hold you at night with arms that are not mine? My heart would break and mend itself again to know you are safe.

Please, anyone reading this, please add me at the website I provided and tell me anything you hear about Jan. Talk to me. Comfort me in my trek to find her. PLEASE JUST ADD ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. Jan, I don’t want to lose YOU tonight. You really are the only thing that matters.

I love you, my yellow haired goddess of song
I will find you. I will find you…

Guys, I just saw on Wikipedia that our beloved Jan died in 2002 of cervical cancer. But there’s no citation to prove it and I can’t find anything else anywhere to substantiate it. Please tell me it’s not true.

Jan Terri is not dead. She is working on album #3. I am going to call her today and let her know that all of you are looking for her. Please leave contact info if you would like her to contact you. Email is fine.

Jan Terri is off the chain. He lyrical flows are so tight she mixes an urban beats with a slight hint of indy. All haters can bow down at the feet of Jan. She is a favorite in Afghanistan and inspires the young warriors that help prosecute the war on terror. Peace out Playas!!!

You guys have to be kidding…. When is Ashton Kutcher gonna come around the corner and say I was punked… Jan Terri has gone viral because the music and video’s are so god aweful that they are downright hysterical to watch. My friends and I cannot play these enough at work… we even have Jan Terri emoticons now…. Thanks Jan for the best laughs I have had since birth

Omg Ben have you been reading my diary? A Jan Terri movie about her life is all I think about and I agree Renee Zelwiger is the perfect cast for the role! Let’s make this happen. Jan you are an inspiration.

Jan terris music is as bad as poverty. It is in the top 3 most disgusting things to be on this planet, along side child abuse and rape. And for the music video she looks like a rock monster who has been burnt. Keep up the work

I have had to hang just above jans cunt all my life smelling fish paste and sweaty piss flaps, and also had to endure the fucking screaming into the microphone! Someone save me by givin the fat bitch a wash or behading the rock monster! I cant cope anymore. I have been overtaken by hair and crabs! I am sad due to me being used as a mud flap and keep geta spray backs all over me 😦

Wow what filthy words you use. From your comments I can tell you are British and have a strong hatred towards the queen as Jan, like the queen, is a fine woman head strong and cares not what people say about her. What would you do if you met Jan or for that matter the queen?

Jan Terri is very popurar in China. I rove Jan much and rearry enjoy ristening to her song especiarry I don’t want to roose you tonigh. Prease stop say bad word for Jan.

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neville jones(01:46:59) :

Jan Terri is a stage name his real name is Brian Gomez

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baby blue(01:52:41) :

I don’t appreciate the comments made about my lady. I’m down here Austin at the national rodeo championships while my love is home in Boston working very hard on a music career she loves. Leave your silly remarks for the toilet.

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Ci Ling(19:46:29) :

As for the question about the what i would do if i met the queen… Id rip her spine out and put my hand up her ass and make her suck and lick jan terris cunt and poop shoot!! Im gona make her suck the dogs cock as well

Ever since i have started and heard jan terri music its like i have caught some kind of disease where i make this high pitchd laugh and chuckle and i sound like a fucking cunt!! Also i dance around and tuck my dick and balls between my legs and sing “im such a beautiful princess”!!! What has happened to me?? And all of sudden i have the urge to put tasty cheese on my nipples and bellend and let rats nibble it!! I googled the symptons and it seems i have scobleitis??… Please help my nipples arw super sensitive and stand like a cunt 😦

Scobolitis can only be contracted by having anal sex with a scoblind. You are disgusting Victor and you deserve scobolitis

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Suk Wang(19:17:53) :

Oh Herro many frien for Jan, Ni how maa!
In our village in Chingfukchen province we have so bad probrem for Scobrins. Erey nigh a Scobrins come a riding a brycycle with so make a big “Sqeee Squee Squee”. Erybody hide in chicken stable for fear and so many chireld suffering this bad plrobrem.

One time Chun did catch one of a Scrobrin so we tie him together on the bamboo pieces. Oh please must say so hideous feature of this Scroblrin have, like bottom of big monkey froating in dolphin mei mei custard!
I must say such a high noise sqee squee the Scrobrin make then like baby rarbbit when you sew the foot to make for hat. Chun then take big stick and bang bang on Scrobrin to make him for quiet.
The Scrobrin then cry and tell me that he think Jan is not for friend and she not make for most beautiful music! Scrobrin look to Chun and tell him his mei mei be So Cute! This not good for Scobrin for Chun then make Scrobrin eat all the shit from pigs and cut all his nipple away and his woy yoy cha! Chun then put Scrobrins Woy yoy chaa in Scrobrins mouth to make for him to eat. Then all village get chopstick and push and push on the Scrobrin and make all his inside coming out. Scrobrin Squee like pigmonkey and we make him eat for all his insides. Chun then take bamboo porel and put up scrobrins funchaa and it com of his mou wang then we burn him over firepit and much on his face for so ugly to make better improvement. Then we tie to buffallo and drag arourn the street to say for children “See no more Scrobrin” and this make Chuns mei mei so relief..

My goodness my god suk I have a very similar very scarey problem myself here in the beautiful city of new York! Sometimes I get very upset at night what with the squeeking and squelching of the rusty wheels of the turning of the scoblin’s bicycle it gets me very anxious and very on edge. one time the scoblin was scratching at my door sniffing and saying “nice things i want them” and I said to the scoblin I said “away with you you scoblin”and then I hid behind the lamp shade and shivered in terrible fear! When the scratching and sniffing finally stopped I poked my head out to the hall and I was so in fear for my life I was trembling uncontrolable I did toilet in my underwear. The scoblin smelt my pissy underwear and made a grab for my ass neck. Please please help me get rid of my scoblin problem I beg you

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professor esmeralder finklesrein(05:11:13) :

The origins of the scoblin are widely discussed and mostly contradicted. According to my studies as an expert in the field the first scoblin was discovered in 2011 and was found to be originated in the very south pacific around new zealand. It has an affinity to the common rodent the rat and a complete disregard for human life with a high priority on its own existence. It will continue without hesitation to bore its peers with anecdotes of days gone by in an effort to confuse its subject whilst on an effort to take its subjects nice things all the time cackling its notable “nyak nyak nyak” in a high pitched tone sometimes varying this to a higher pitched sound like ” an hanya” the pacific scoblin is very rare and is thought to be almost extict. With a little help lets all work together so this scourge can never interferre in our lives again.

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terrence pilkington(01:50:03) :

Can someone please explain what a scoblin is.

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jose tacos(14:15:34) :

so here in mexico we are all big fans of jan terri, just like big burritos. Also we have a major scoblin problem because we have so many chilli beans it seems to be the chosen food of the scoblin. Have any of you that know of this creature seen or heard anything about this?

Ross i no who you are!!! Your that fucking faggot fairy who chews cock!! You swollow jizz and rub it all over your nipples!! Take the cucumber out your ass and stop wanking off rats!! You bent fuck stain! Ill wana skin you alive and throw salt all over you! Get bent helmet!!

So what if i suck dick! I enjoy the salty taste of jizz!! Its good to get a facial from 26 lads at once!! I love havin the shit stabbed in my ass!! Wanking little kids off in the bushed is my favourite!! Little boys willys! Shame they cnt jizz in my eye. I love bein fucked in the ass and having my handsome pecker being whipped with electrical cord

Hello is the creator of this shrine there somewhere? I hope your ok? What the hell is a scoblin? in the name of pope Francis and the holy mother Mary. Is there anybody out there who isn’t insane? I just want to talk to real Jan Terri fans, is that too much to ask?

Hi Sally, we met at Jans show some years ago as I recall you had red hair you were fat and had a prosthetic leg.

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Cimi flaps(22:02:39) :

Sally are you some priest loving, nun fucking, choir boy fingering cunt? Dont start with religion otherwise im gona take ur plastic leg and beat ur kids to death!! And as for the bible im gona set it on fire and burn the fucking hair of ur head so u look like a kemo victim!!

OMG Derek!!! Is it really you? I will never forget that show Jan did at The A.V. Club in Chicago a few years back. I was wearing my pink spandex tube top with blue sequin leggings, green socks, lace gloves, purple eyeliner and my beautiful red hair totally rockin! (Above and below remember?). I’d had a few mojitos and well lets just say the normally shy me had left for Austin and I was really shakin my caboose. I was sweating like a hog in heat I could tell all the girls were so jealous and guys were watching me just staring. ( Oh I wonder what they were thinking? XXX ; ) Then all of a sudden I felt a firm hand on my behind, well I just turned right around and was ready to give someone a good tongue lashing and well there were the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen (Just as Jan was singing baby blue). You were 5 ft of big bulging HunkMuffin, wearing brown corderous and a really tight Chicago bears tee with chilli dog stains all down the front that didn’t quite cover your hairy sex god belly. Oh and you had such long flowing black hair, well around the sides anyway Raaaaaawr!!! Well I just went to jelly and thats when my leg fell off. Everyone laughed then and I thought I might just die, but you took my hand and pulled me up again. You pulled me close and you smelled like salt and vinegar mixed with man stink MMmmmm. At that time Jan was playing get down goblin and well you just threw me all around the dance floor on one leg like a cerebal palsy victim with a yo-yo. I’d never felt a man be that way to me before, not in a nice ways anyway.
Well we never took our hands off each other that night. I remember we drove out to the woods in your car and you kept mutterin somethin about “One more time and thats it! I swear!” well I’m not sure what that meant. Also after we made love over that dirt mound that was kinda stinky and you came out with that knife, tied me up and covered my mouth and cut my fake leg off. Well I laughed and laughed and you got kinda mad then started crying and drove off. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it, I want you to know I still have feelings for you my quivering jubgrub. Keep in touch
Love your Snookypig. XOXOXOX

Barry your love story is truely romantic!! It somethin that should be put in a movie! I jad a similuar story but with … WAIT FOR IT… JAN TERRI!!!!! I was in a bar in chicago just havin a few drinks when all of a sudden a smell of hotdogs and pork chops came over me…my hair all stood on end. I turned my head to see this beautiful women standing there… Her hair looked like it was brushed with a firework, make that had be done by stevie wonder, skin that looked like a nuclear bomb testing ground. Her figure was like amazingggg!! Her tits where huge and well tucked into the top of her pants, ass was like the back end of a rhino. I was in love !!! So i went over to her and offered her a drink, she ordered a pint of stella…such a lady. By the end of the night i was feeding the pony by the toilets… Well i was alittle confused at first weather it was her tuna taco or her sweaty gunt… But the smell of cod hit my like a fucking train straight in the face!! At that moment i vomitted …. Out the end of my cock! I took her straight home and undressed her… Taking her knickers off the highlight of the night, looked like someone had poured custard all over her dripping piss flaps she was discharging that much! I went to town on that growler!! She was asking me to tuck my dick between my legs and so she can like my pretend fanny… What i would do to go back to that night…. Love you jan

I just cracked a fat reading that last comment it weally weally turned me on!! As i am and all the other people on this site who is the cunt who runs this site?? Why havent they stuck up for the artist that is super jan terri?? Your obviously a retarded fuck who wanks himself off to animal porn!!! Sort yourself out, get ur dick out ur hand and sort these people out. You may have a busy life putting vegetables up your asshole and then deep throating them after words, but please make some time to sort this site out. Please please.

Oh why can’t I stop bleeding from my vagina? It doesnt matter how many tampax I get in there is always seepage that runs down my thigh and into my ass crack when I sit down. Can anyone help me? This is a medical/health forum right?

How about you clean your mums mouth of my jizz?? Or her jizz stained sheets you fucking faggot!

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Suk amassivecockivic(20:08:32) :

Here in russia jan gets played so loud in the men and women orgy room. When i have men shitting on my dick i really like the wild one playing coz it makes me feel really wild! I love loosing soggy biscuit on purpose and actin like i was really trying. Thats my favorite!! The clap room is also up there its were the men and women shit in the hands and we all get really close open are mouths and clap are hands really hard to jan terri so shit hits the roof and goes all over are body!! The jizz pit is where 50 men are wanking above the couple banging below and all jizz on them 😀 … So warm its like geting a shower with sea water!! You have got to watch ur eyes thou that shit stings!! We have jan picturea all over the walls with there mouth cut out so we can fuck it. We also have are own version to the featival game were your spray water into the clowns mouth… You can guess wa we use!! Winner sucks a asshole…! Anyway its my turn for the jizz pit!!! Adios fuckers

I don’t have a Dick I had it removed 14 years ago. I am a transvestite who suffers terribly from polio and find comfort and solice in Jan terris music. I like communicating with like minded people on this forum as my speech has been affected by the stroke I had last year and you are ruining it for me. Please stop your foul taunts as it is upsetting my ulcer.

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Fel Chin(03:20:59) :

Lick your cunt jizz off my shit soaked balls you suppressive little cock swallower! Where was society when I needed a good cleaning? Skull fuking dead cats and squeazing them till shit came out? I just need a hug!

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Suk amassivecockivic(03:38:44) :

I dont give a shit whats wrong with you!! Im gona stitch your fannny up and ass and feed you berocca till you explode! Then dig your nan up and finger ur friends with her femur!!! Im gona feed them shit loads of beans and drop kick them till they shit all over your body! Go suck a dick you fairy!

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Anonymous(05:26:50) :

Listen here Suk amassivecockivc you little cunt snot! You think you are in control of this shit but the reality is I know where you live and the nice new car you drive. I’ve been watching you. I know where you work and I know what you do with your spare time. I have your nannas jaw in my pocket on hand to smash your balls with and I know you have felt the pain of black plums before! Be carefull next time you order lunch with the lot because I might be making it and who knows? Maybe I’ll sneak in your sisters circumsised clit. When I get you you’ll wish you never heard of Jan Terri! Go suck a monk’s horse cummy Dick you sick fuck. I’ll see you when I saw you faggot!

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Suk amassivecockivic(14:48:08) :

Listen you fuckin cunt!! Im gona put me german suit on and burn lock ur hole family in the shed and burn them like the fucking jews whilst you are all screaming and banging the window im gona be fucking ur dead nans skull while rubbin shit into her scalp! Im gona get ur dad and lawn mower his cock off! Get a pair of garden clippers and cut is toes off and boil them! Sand paper his nipples off! Nip his fucking ears off and superglew them to his asshole and kick him in his stomach so he can here himself shit!!! Gona pull his fucking eyes out and put them in his ballsak and kick the shit out off them…you dont wana start coz ill fuckin destroy you and all your hole family an friends!!

I saw a scoblin once in the barn at my daddy’s farm I think it was huntin rat. It looked at me then made a weird noise and ran out the barn naked with its Dick tucked up its arse singing “beautiful princess beautiful princess that’s what I am” I shot it dead and made bean mix out from the meat. It tasted like wet rodent mixed with liquid shit. I should have burnt it

I have heard enough about this scoblin, i want to find him and lock him in a cage and let bees sting the shit out of him. Let him swell up and fuckin volley him. Im gona cut his dick off attach it to his nose an stab his eyes out. Im gona get his pet rat and stick it up his ass. Them rip his throat out and smash his face in with his wind pipe! Them burn his body and make his fuckin jew girlfriend drink him!

I am the one they call scoblin….!! I often think about sucking the untouched pope cock … Weather its got ball fro or shavin…?? I love dancing in the rain flappin my arms about pretendin i have fairy wing screaming “im a little scoblin fairy” while rubbin my pretend fanny and ramming carrots up my ass… One by one!! The 13th one always hurt but i like it hiiihhhiiihhhiii!!! I wonder if i can find a little harness for my pet rat olive so i can ride him around but i dont think i will… I want a rat harness…. I want want want one!!!! I often stick crayola crayons up olives ass coz i think he likes it an he bites me with pleasure :)!! I have such great friend in my old place i worked i use to tell them all the great storys and they looked at me with a blank expression coz they where that shocked how good they were!! I had to leave coz i had to get 34 buses, 5 trains and 7 km walk :(! I flick my balls sometimes coz the shock makes my ratty nose tingle… Hiiihhhiiihhhhhi!! Anyway im goin for a ass banging

Wow have any of you guys heard Jans new album The Wild One?
OMG after all these years Jan hasn’t lost any of her non chalant delivery that resonates a chord within humanity as a whole.Her lacklustre pitch control is definitley her Arc de Triumph I honestly believe she is the most important voice in modern music today! You can keep all your Ri Ri’s and Taylor Swifts they’re just plastic overexposed facimilies of Jans raw talent. Anyone with a flashy producer and access to autotune can come up with the next “It” sound wereas Jan’s music is truly timeless.

I like jan tewwi she sings song like me I can to the pig sound I have fwends they are bwothers I like the pig oink oink oink a beh a beh a beh that’s all folks

21032013

Rupert Locksly(14:58:45) :

Can someone please help me? I live in a wherehouse and was sharing the upstairs living area with a few other people and then one day there was a grotesque snivelling rat like creature hunched in one of the corners of the rooms. I tried to get him out with a broom but he climbed into the roof and all I could hear was muttering and nya nya nya nya. As week’s went by the creature which I’ve now named scoblin had definitely started nesting and despite all hints and attempts to remove him he won’t leave. Sometimes when I walk past the room I can see through the slightly ajar door. It seems the scoblin has stolen women’s undergarments and makeup and he has fashioned himself a wig out of dental floss and used condoms. Well he then proceded to tuck his genitalia between his legs and take a marker and draw a slit down his groinal region. He then started to dance around limp wristed staring into a broken mirror sayin who’s a sexy girl? ME! Everyone’s things keep going missing. Please does anyone have any advice, much appreciated.

I was wandering through town one day and heard this rustling in the bushes and this strange voice saying ” owwww I want that nice thing” Nyak nyak nyak, when suddenly this scoblin jumped out in front of me…. I proceded to find some electical cord and chase it down the street where it ran into a warehouse. Are we talking about this same creature? Maybe we should be in contact to discuss this further.

I’m Inspector Muck Muck from the scummycuntdrip task force and my job is to track down the poo ridden scoblin and place it in a pit of used camel cunts where it will survive unharmed until it’s fate is decided. Some years ago it was reported that a scoblin was seen over the water from a land far away to the east and it made its way to dry ground where it took up residence in other’s dwellings. It is a nocturnal creature who waits for the unsuspecting to go into an induced sleep then pounces upon the cock, stroking, poking, groping until it sees, through its blood shot eyes, the milky way oozing ever so gently upon pristine linen. It was once seen in disguise removing seats from bicycles and buckling the back wheel with a blunt object to make the bicycle rise and fall in an orbital fashion when propelled. It is said that it wears lycra attire with a tear in the waste area that allows it to mount the cycle and travel many days with the seat shaft penetrating and leaving the man cunt with every rotation of the distorted wheel creating a trail of fly blown hot liquid of the brown nature. If sighted it is every citizens duty to contact the SCD team as a priority one.

Hey les the cunt cleaner, how do you know the Muck? What makes you think he has the knowhow to seek out a snivelling gutter rat like the scoblin and bring him to his knees. (A position, which i must say, the scoblin is quite used to, as he has spent most of his laconic pathetic life in such a position afront schoolboys, trannies, clergy and any other unsuspecting being that he has the opportunity of squeezing the jizz out of and all the while pretending to be a diva of exceptional beauty). No point putting it in a vat of decaying camel lips it will just encourage that obnoxious grin and snigger of his that puts others in a position of irreversible homicidal tendencies. Tell that fuckin Muck to get off here, get on with the job, and not come back until he has stripped the stinking flesh from the scoblin with razor wire and interferred with his choad by means of burning bitumen. And you can fuck off too.

Well dntfkmeifku, i have never been so humiliated since i was made to stand alone amid a bikie gang of 90yo lesbian slash molesters whose task it was to cleanse the collictive cunt using my diminishing 1.5in massive manhood that was beginning to resemble a stop light covered in seagull waste. How dare you tell me to fuck off you strip of cocky shit, i have people here who respect me and who if i ask nicely will put an end to your ‘fucking’ because your wacker will be protuding from your great grandfather’s cunt. Furthermore the Muck is aware of your comments and states that when he captures the scoblin he will take great pleasure in passing its man slit methodically across your protuding lips whereupon you will take on the form of a scoblin by way of exchange of fluids and you will be put on display.

I was hunting some young boyish buttcrack in the back alleys of the city when i heard a muffled groan coming from behind a pile of discarded matted hair that seemed to me to have been there for several years. I got down on all fours, which i am getting used to these days, and crept along to a vantage point to observe procedings. What i saw was a naked grotesque being laying on its back with what seemed to be gaffer tape compressing the genital area. I arrived just in time to observe another hideous creature holding a lighted red candle above such area pouring melting wax over the same and all the while the recipient was sniffling and ranting how pretty his new red vagina would look, especially when the black vanilla pod was carefully placed in a north south direction just before the vagina went off and set. I composed myself and looked beyond the event and noticed the prettiest ballerina outfit on the hanger on the shit stained wall and the full length mirror. It was then that i realised that for the first time in my pathetic life i was about to witness the thing known to only a few, a scoblin. If ever there was a doubt it was quickly dismissed as the scoblin leapt up, minced over to mirror and said, “what a good girl am i”. I was so enchanted by such humility my emotions took charge of me and my reservoir of love, which i was nurturing for release into the abyss of maiden boy crack exploded like etna and rivers of white lava expelled on to the cobblestones and down to the sewers. Bit like where i had planned they should go anyway, ah well.

Harry the Humpwhatever, you want back up? I will give you back up you cunt, tell me your plan of attack on this so called scoblin and i will engage an army, my army of crack angels who, unbeknown to me, have probably danced the dance of the fairy plum with your scoblin in some obscure warehouse north of nowwhere. We are well aware of his mirror dance where he praises his self beauty declaring his love for himself and then rewards his chode with a most refreshing whipping. We have intercepted pics and dvds of this event which he sends to his mother across the water, but rather than confiscate them, we allow passage only because she deserves to see how successful her cunt ugly boy has become. Let’s team up you fuck so we can make wonderful music like nyak, nyak, nyak as we observe the scoblin shrinking back into his self made man cave as we pour virgin jizz into his ever waiting orifice. Any wonder the cunt is bog ugly. Reply fuck you so we can make this happen before the fuckin thing escapes. By the way, fuck MUCK MUCK, he is a scoblin sympathyser, he should be boiled in oil. Discuss it,cunt.

Perhaps this scoblin is a misunderstood creature. The male scoblin can change sex when full grown and what is being witnessed is this change. Its known that in filthy rodent infested habitats the female scoblin is extremely rare. The only way for a male scoblin to reproduce in this environment is to fuck its own arse hole then change sex within 2 hours with self empowerment willing the change to happen. If the scoblin is succesful it can produce 2-33 arse eggs. When hatched they can live up to 35 years.

Scoblin juice is a rarity as it is near impossible to extract it from a shaft that is bent in half and enclosed in a toilet roll cylinder. The creature does this as part of its act in front of a live audience, its self, where it chants a chilling rant of self praise, a dance in the scoblin national dress, (pink tutu), followed by self mutilation, all for the purpose of forming a pretty little girly image that pleases itself to the point of release. It spends many hours perfecting its ugly appearance in order to attract other scoblins, of either gender or persuasion, with the intention of self pleasure and scant regard to the procreation of the race. I once witnessed such a ceremony through the bushes in a far away park on the outskirts which was interupted by a sudden shower of rain which resulted in the cardboard inner becoming soaked and redundant. The scoblin cried and cried in anguish and l laughed and laughed in such a way my groin gave way and there was mess everywhere. Anyway, who gives a fuck.

Dried scoblin genitals are well sought after in many cultures. The most common use is to grind them and hide them in the food or beverage of your first daughter to discourage them from hosting a scoblin seed. Once the dried scoblin is ingested, the subject has an adverse reaction to a scoblin much like in reverse a wolf bite may cause a human to have canine tendencies. If a woman who has ingested dried scoblin genitalia is impregnated by a scoblin the results are horrific at best. The woman will give birth to a litter of no less than 700 baby rats from her arse hole over a period of 9 weeks. The consequences of this abhorent choice are so horrific that in many cases dried scoblin genitalia is sometimes replaced with dry dog shit (because of the similarity in odour) as a warning to potentially confused adolescent women.

Scoblin droppings are beginning to cause a major problem for the rat and vagrant population of the streets. Some people also have been unintentionally struck down with scoblin leprousy simply because they had no idea that a snivelling manipulating creature had infiltrated their sanctum. Early warning signs, which sometimes go unnoticed, are nipples shrinking in size while the fatty tissue of the breast takes on the shape of a swollen penis, which after a period of one year and three hours will suddenly drop off leaving a festering cavity. If the problem goes untreated it might get worse. This condition is not restricted to the male population and in recent times there have been some cases of female infection resulting in a perplexing condition known as fuck you. If this strain of contamination reaches epidemic proportions the scoblin will survive as it is becoming well used to the fuck you and the newer recently discovered condition now known as fuck off. So while the scoblin revels in the fuck you and fuck off environment the rest have to contend with bits falling off, scoblin leprousy, due to the lack of funding by those supposedly in charge. I think its time we mass together and kill the cunts, and the scoblin.

Well I never! What a load of rubbish you so called scoblin experts have displayed. Not one has shown the ability to catch such a critter. To catch a scoblin one must think like a scoblin. My husband rest his soul was a freelance scoblin bounty hunter and very good might I add at his craft. He had to get into the psychi of the scoblin for weeks at a time hanging around seedy laneways and mincing through the badlands to catch the beast all the while I raised my seventeen children with the fear my good Herman may return empty handed. On a still night I recall Herman approaching the house with a well rehearsed nyak nyak nyak. This meant we had food on the table . Herman broke his legs the very next week hunting scoblins and was eaten alive by scoblin rats a slow and painfull death. All my Herman would have wanted is too rid the world of the scoblin and its minions. Don’t let hermans death go in vain. Share your sightings and for gods sake work out a solid plan to eradicate this world of the scoblin.

Well Angus, finally some scientific input (dried dog shit) into a topic that has stirred mixed reactions in scoblin fearing purists, of the purest kind. A vigilante task force should be headed up by you to rid us of this stinking vermin as you seem to have the job in hand, no offence intended, i think. I hear Muck has been sent to the east to seek enlightenment and probably won’t return until he morphs himself into another snivelling clone of the very fuck he is sent to destroy. That means that if you and your shit faced murderers fail to remove the entrails of the scob then it will breed with the very person, Muck, who has been commissioned to pluck out its genital wisdom worm with a winkle picker and place it on a specially decorated tooth pic at the city gates. This now becomes your job, along with the cunt sucking, cock riding scum you will gather around you to see a fruitful outcome. The scoblin mother, because of her slutty behaviour in sleeping with, and then eating a scoblin, should be dragged naked across the very cobblestones that are stained with scoblin trail to such gates to witness her ‘pretty little scoblin girly’s’ slaughter. Your final task is to lure the Muck back with the promise of gratuitous sex of the scoblin kind which will result in him and mother scoblin chained to the pillars and set alight with slow burning camel-cunt hair. This will be a lesson to anyone having lewd thoughts about scoblin sex.

Esmae, get fucked you ungrateful cunt, you wining bitch. I knew Herman and he was a bigger fuck than you the lying slut. He is in Croatia and you made up that bullshit to scam more welfare. How could you birth 17 dogs to a man whose vasectomy, at age 8, was performed by an ambulance driver with tourettes. Go fuck a scoblin, that’s what you really need, and you should die immediately.

Whilst on vacation in the land of the slopes i came upon, oops, encountered a set of siamese scoblin twins, oh god they were of the most hideous strain, one body, well sort of, two heads and joined at the wrinkley bag. When they walked down the street one could see where it was going and the other could see where it had been. If one leaned to the left and the other to the right they could each manage to grasp the ferrett and the race was on to see who could empty the common sack first and deny the other a squirt, if you get my jizz. (Oh i’m naughty!) This has now developed into a spectator sport around the back because once the bag is depleted they engage in a sort of traditional folk dance where one tries to bash the cunt out of the other because it failed to orgo and the other, who is up for seconds, tries to destroy its twin in order to get the upper hand, or in this case, the lower hand, and double up, the filthy swine. As a spectator sport it is revolting in its very existance, two scobs sharing one pink ballerina outfit, two rusty colored cocks chaffing at each other as they rub together in transit through the oriental slums and that never ending sniffling and monotonous grinning, at each other, that never ends, even when in conflict. I promise to bring footage of this primal act back for the six oclock news once i have fulfilled my dreams and depleted my supply of………..into the ever waiting and engaging recepticles who locals describe as dirty little male buckets. Bye for now to all of you. Pete.

I’ve seen a scoblin, i’ve been with a scoblin, my boy cunt is scoblin diseased, i have scoblin cancer, which i love, i can’t go to church any more, my mum hates me, my girl friend does’t know, i’m not going to tell the cunt, my dad can get fucked, my dog will get it, i will make sure, and best of all you all will enjoy my happiness as i make it available freely on all tram seats.

You fucking prick, fess, i’ve been waiting eons for scoblin ‘juice’ and you have been stockpiling it up your ass, you selfish little cunt, what can i say? Any wonder your slutty mother hates you, you beat her to her fantasy of scoblin pups. Keep your dripping boy box off tram seats in my patch or i promise you will suffer a fate of “Help me, help me, cunt.”

Fuck you inter! get in line you greedy bastard. There’s people who have camped out waiting to get they’re disgusting warty little paws on another hit of scob slobber. I’d sell my neighbours cat to the local beasty to get one more shot to throw right in your cunt ugly face and watch you turn into the filthy princess you desire. You can’t wait your turn you impatient fuck to watch your green puss covered carrot Dick invert to a wet scoblin cave. All you want is to sniff the inside of your hand knitted scoblin undies after four weeks of leakage you selfish knob. Take a number fuck bag and wait patiently!

Well anonymous, this is Muck Muck, you vile, disgusting off-cut of disease ridden lesbian cock. That’s right, keep telling every fuck who believes what is written by you and your scoblin pox ridden gentry, who, by the way, can only aspire to the level of whore, a level you could only dream of, that I’m a closet scoblin lover. It’s true that i’ve been to the east to seek out and destroy the elusive scoblin and on many a dark and balmy night i have left my exposed man hole protruding from the undergrowth, along the road side, wishing deep down, oh! please excuse me, to attract scojuice into my moist and manicured sluice tube, in order to trap the scoblin into release submission. I hear that when he is spent, the two drops that emit, leave him in a sexually induced coma where all onlookers are intrigued by the stupid grin and chant of nyak nyak, i hate you cunts, nyak. If you nun licking bunch of mould extractors think i did this for my own demented and twisted satisfaction keep thinking. I have risked my very untarnished reputation to assist in this global crisis and all i get is ridicule from a gonoh drop who can’t even use his name, cunt. So, you losers can take up the job of scoblin exposure yourselves, because i’m leaving for the good life, where i will ride naked on a naked white horse in the land of the nakeds. (Horse riding makes my little cock dance). Esmae, just keep fingering yourself. Harry and Rupert, use a super glu lube during your next male bonding experience and scoblin, keep walking, tramming, training and bussing, keep off the seatless bicycle and try and try to live up to yourself, you snivelling cunt ugly fuckless ho. A message from Muck, fuck you all, Muck.

Hey fag, you are in the right place for anything you want, including scob recipes. I once made a scoblin crumble that won 1st prize at the royal display of rancid recipes, it goes like this: Ingredients, 1 cup of desicated scoblin hair soaked overnight in a marinade of camel cunt juice mixed with the scent of a hyena’s vag., 2 scoblin mothers’ curdled egg whites, the powder of no less than three day old turtle shit that has been dried in a kiln smoked with imported tadpole urine,expensive but worth it, and flour made from the peelings of scoblin scrotum, dried in a moderate oven and pounded into a fine powder using the parkinsons’ method. Bring all of the above together and add scoblin foreskin custard to get the consistency of moist bread crumbs. You can add sugar for taste if you want but don’t destroy the intense flavours of scoblin by product. Smooth mixture over your favourite base, cook in a moderate oven for about 3 days, phone every cunt who have hated throughout your fucking life, serve it up to them and try to remain dry while you observe them writhing on the floor in nothing less than screaming agony, the cunts. Good luck with it and send me money for the advice, you scummy little fag bag.

I tried that recipe and all I took out of oven was a mess that resembled a scoblin man cunt full of off eggs. That’s the last time I trust you scob to entertain my guests everyone left with a foul taste in their mouth fuck you I have no friends now.

Hello Kevin, what a lovely name, ‘kevin’ just sort of rolls off the tongue, backwards, not unlike lovingly warmed parrot cum which gently lubes the scoblin infected thorax which is neatly adorned with blown scob oysters harvested from your dead aunty’s mutilated cock cave, which by the way, is kept under lock and key in a controlled atmosphere just below. As for the recipe, you festering cunt, how the fuck can you possibly proceed throughout life, all the time fingering your neighbour’s dog rat, and not being able to cater. I’ve seen a video of your fanny piles and they are amazing, well done. Why are you such a selfish cock bucket, you could be farming those puppies right there in your male/puss, making them available to the scoblin lovers then sit back, with a packet of salted bacon flaps and watch them pass orange bile from their cock ends. Get that oriental turd pusher, Suk, to make noodles from frozen mortuary juice and pour the orange shit over them for added flavour, you fucking pig fucker, you cunt. I’ve just about had enough of you and your snivelling altar boy wannabees, all dressed up in your camo outfits, out every night hunting unsuspecting priests, and who, without so much as a bye your leave, the cock goes straight in face orifice for a rogering of nuclear proportions, and you know only too well you will get away with it every fucking night. I have another recipe, seeing as though you are fucking ugly that you might like to try. It’s called mulled scoblin mothers’ monthly trifle, prepared in a cement mixer, using five thousand litres of curdled period. Line a very large oven proof plastic container with well soaked sanitary naps, tamps and liners, pour over liquid, repeat with layer after layer until you run out of anything, but you can use only fresh dog and cat turd, from the grater. Cook the fuck out of it but don’t let it get too dry and you will get your friends back, for sure, fucking guaranteed or your refund will be sent. Now you owe me for two recipes you piece of turtle cock and if you don’t pay soon you can’t use my kitchen, so either you pay me money or i let me suck your whistle to the point of exhaustion. Hang on to this recipe and tell no cunt, i give it to you for your good and future happiness, let me know if Suk likes little boys up his wasteland and i will come by bus to your place. You are such a cunt. I hate cunts like you who pretend they don’t like the scoblin, you love it, want to marry it, lick it, shit in it, display it in the window, show it off to the Jews, burn it, wheel it around, put it on the road, on the beach, on the train line, fill its arse with boy drops and use a straw to drain it. So there you have it you ungrateful fag and i will meet you.

Hey Scob, why don’t you try out for the new show ‘Cook like a Cunt’ You’d win for sure! Both recipes have many flaws and key ingredients are missing. Go back to the books, study the ingredients and come back here when you know what you’re talking about. Here’s a hint if you want to add depth to scoblin crumble you must add camel cum to the camel cunt it’s the first rule of thumb.

Hi all, my name is Cliff and i’m a freshman at my local school. I live in a trailer park with my mum behind Nicki’s Diner just off the interstate in Ohio. My mum waits tables at the diner, mostly for tips, and on thur/fri/sat nights she is a pole dancer in the nearby c&w bar. My father drives rigs across state and is only home occasionally, about two or three days a month. At school we were given a paper to write about our favorite topic. I told my teacher mine would be about interesting vocalists. She suggested jan terri then proceeded to laugh. When my dad was last home i told him about the suggestion from my teacher and he too laughed and said she was just a cunt. So here i am on this site doing research when i discovered something called a scoblin. With the release of the ufo data in the press lately can someone tell me exactly what a scoblin is and is it a form of ufo, because i’m thinking of making the scoblin my topic of choice. Not many nice things have been said about this so called creature and if i’m onto something unique i might qualify for a student scholarship if my essays are judged to be the most original, so i make a plea for help to you all as my chance of a good future depends on my success. I help here with the bills by having a few boys around when mum is busy with her pole dancing, i wasn’t sure if i would like it at first but now i’m getting used to it and looking forward to the variety of the challenge, if you know what i mean. (some of these guys are just drop dead gorgeous, uuuumm).

18042013

info@scob(06:58:07) :

Well Ivan, what you don’t know is that i actually produce the show Cook like a Cunt and i do know what the fuck i’m talking about, poo kisser. Scoblin crumble has several twists to it and it comes down to personal preference and we all know what yours is, rim sniffer. Camel cum is a delicacy found only in the streets and is expensive so our viewers and subscribers elect to use the substitute known as royal oyster flap, yes only one, which is diced, simmered in the liquid carefully scraped from the babboon vulcano, seasoned with terri jizz overflow, which is available on the shelves wherever you go. Once cooled it is put into the blender then spread over the crumble base, keep some for the garnish, baked for as long as you can hold out in a 10 degree celsius oven, leave for about, fucked if i know, say several days, or months, perhaps close to a year, cut into even squares, take it to the school canteen and cull a few fat cunts who hate the pe teacher. You will do the world a favour, you cunt, so shut your fucking shit lips and leave.

All these recipes suck ball bags. You guys have no idea how to cook scoblin crumble! First things first you must get camel cunt for the base I don’t give a fuck where you get it Israel, China, Iraq it must be fresh. Layer the flaps like you would puff pastry. Then layer the pastry with blessings of jizz, wet, and smotherings of granny filth ( if you can’t get fresh granny filth try day old scoblin cheese) bake for fourteen days and the end result will coat the pallet in a cream that will make your balls swizzle and ya nob weak! Try raisins for a fruity twist, if you dare!

To Kevin, Ivan and Paul, you bunch of retarded kitchen waste. For fuck’s sake learn how to prepare a basic crumble then contact info@ to observe the pro’s in action so you can master the prep of scoblin slime-infused marbled cake base which is dried then pressed into a flat tray using a mixture of 1-5 scoblin cum-froth from a cum froth machine and sun-dried and preserved scoblin egg yolk. Fresh granny filth is now freely available from the ice-cream vans disguised as soft-serve “Mr i would love to whippy the pretty scoblins slash, please do” vans seen plying the streets predominately lined with disused warehouses. The raisins referred to are a good idea but the best ones are the ones preserved beneath the bell-end flap for no less than 72hrs. These have a decidely full chocolate flavor, a strong hint of matured cheddar and have the bonus of a distinct aniseed tinge if, and when, they have been inserted into a fourteen year old italian boy’s cunt, all the while still under the bell flap. For the best results and a mouth watering experience get a filthy little wog boy who’s filled up with his favorite uncle’ jizzzy drops, you won’t look back. So for now could you all please just fuck up and fuck off and stop trying to cook something you know fuck all about, go to confession.

First you must find a scoblin then follow it to its great grandmother’s vault, this will take patience, as the scoblin will deviate along the way seeking out cunts to share its dreams with. As the reality of the fruitless search sinks in it will cry then head to the disused piggery to mate with its relatives which hopefully, for the poor snivelling fucker, will produce the elusive scoblin egg. Once the egg is matured it is removed from its host, be it, homosexual pig, uncle’s cunt, jehovah’s witness boy cave, autistic labrador, a crippled spastic lesbian who yearns for the rubber probe but gets scoblin froth instead, a disused nun’s slash, and of course the temperature controlled camel cunt flaps, hair clipped but not burnt, and presented on a velvet cushion held tenderly by a paraplegic scoblin eunuch which is a mirror image of itself. The harvested egg is placed, thrown, into the vault and is nurtured by the dedicated ugly fucking g’mother who has only one wish and that is to be fucked by the scoblin while it incubates the stinking egg in its moss covered wishbone. I’ve told you where to find it so go out, prostitute yourself, fuck someone else’s uncle, get to the vault, reach in and get the egg, take it home, put it up your arse, your dogs arse, your boarder’s arse, whatever, and when you are satisfied for fuck’s sake put it to some good, just don’t let it form into another fucking scoblin, or will have to sneak away.

24042013

info@scob(05:04:01) :

Hi Cliff, oops, i think you are full of shit, or at least a part of you is. I vacation in the USofA and i know Ohio well and i also know your so called ‘ma’ who isn’t your ma but a colored ho from Orleans. She’s danced around my pole numerous occasions while your honky daddy watched on wishing he still had a bag full of rocks, but alas they were target practice for the gooks, and are still missing in action somewhere in Nam. And if you think any cunt here is going to support a poo pusher the likes of you then your are mistaken unless you get lucky and locate the scoblin. Your daddy hates your faggoty little arse and hates your pink room, pink quilt, pink nails, pink cat, pink boyfriend with pink cock and most of all your glistening pink rim, boy bucket. Why don’t you write the scoblin and meet in NYC where you can mince around times square together and pick up boy sluts and procreate the fairy minded race. The only scholarship you could aspire to would be for a masters in cock gobbling and arse presentation. I hope you hook up with the scoblin, you have so much in common, so there you have it, you lying little cunt, fuck off.

I know the scoblin because he is a pal of mine and i alone have the only photograph of the cunt and believe me you don’t need to see this photo. When i say he is a friend i am lying because he doesn’t have friends, he thinks he has friends but they hate his fucking guts, hate his fucking face, hate his fucking attitude and fucking well hate him, the snivelling cunt. This photo will make you puke, shit your pants, piss on your dog, chew tobacco, fuck your granny’s furry bit, play hidey the snag with your uncle’s sister and then if not careful you might fuck up. There is no scoblin picture in a craft shop just happy snaps of decaying albatross flaps from an ethiopian travel doco. The similarity is remarkable but you would rather an albatross cunt than a scoblin anyday. So, keep up the good work, find the egg, make a fucking cheese cake, season it with smoked lab-rat poo, give it to the mormons, watch cunts die and be happy geoff, you cunt.

1052013

Elder Bartholemew(08:26:09) :

To this so called friend of ‘something called a scoblin’ may i take the time to inform you that i am deeply offended by your remark whereby you say, and i quote, give it to the mormons, un-quote. Myself, and my fellow brethren spend our lives dedicated to preaching peace and good will to all who believe and we will not tolerate such insults. You know only too well that our doctrine forbids us the pleasure of cheese cake yet you make a clear reference to it in your dialogue. It is clear to us that you are making an unapologetic and scathing attack on our way of life and our unabashed dream to cure the world of phallic obesity, genital scabies, elephantitis, uncontrolable ear twitch, our endeavor to cure the urge for grand parent sex, sex between underage cousins, sex between man and beast, less of course it is consensual, and lastly sex between opposite sexes. We lotto for the pleasure of visiting the scoblin on a sunday morn to listen in awe whilst he reveals his life long story of how he evolved into someone who is looked up to in the community, mostly by pre pubertal vietnamese boy orphans, and without considering his own comfort he welcomes them to his warm bed on a nightly basis. Our doctrine forbades the use of cusses so i will summarise by saying give your fucking cheese cake to the fucking catholics, fucking muslims, nazis, your rat poo to cunts without causes, cunts without cover, busted cunts on the way to the dump and if this is too much for you shove your stinking cheese cake up your fucking arse, your priest’s arse, your neighbour’s cunt and have a great day.

All you scob lovers can get fucked! I’m sick and tired of hearing this back & forth about hunting this cunt down. I know where it is I’ll tell you the exact location if you can prove you are willing to put this maggot fucker to bed. Tenders are now open for the right team and the reward is 62pickled vaginas. It should take a team of seven scob bounty hunters to bury this cunt so work it out as team captains and decide who misses out on the last vag. The losing fag should be shamed in the main street with its Dick tucked up its arse yelling at the top of its voice I’m a non worthy princess! Help the cause you cunts and get a great big fat black dog up ya!

2052013

MUCK(06:57:40) :

Muck Muck here. Would you believe it we have a fucking trent who is trying the bribe of a mere 62 vaginas, pickled, ooohh, nice twist mr ballbag, no doubt prepared by his pygmy grandma from the isle of falling cunts. Well bounty hunters save yourself the trouble of forming teams as i have the filthy scoblin cunt in custody and it will take a lot more than 62 oyster look alikes, pickled or not, for me to release it. So it is now up to the highest bidder to see who gets the fairy princess,’scoblin’. The merchandising rights alone are worth at least 63 pickled cunts as well as a pound or two of crusty undercover cock end cheese. The baby rats incubating inside the scob’s back cunt are priceless and the bidding should go high. I have Cliff working for me, to keep the scoblin sated, with his ever willing and throbbing sphincter, on the ready to receive scob chode. Esmae has volunteered to help and will be here as soon as she can get trish’s face out of her pouch, it wont fucking happen. You are all losing fags and you should all dance the dance of the fairy, cock up arse or not, and for fucks sake someone start the bidding off, i can’t stand the NYAK any longer, and while you are at it fuck each other, fuck your mother’s daughter, your decaying granny’s eye socket and bash the fuck out of your pathetic little cocks with a spiked club. I wish you all the very best. Muck.

Yes you are, so fuck off, mind your own business, fuck your canary, fuck your canary’s cousin, fuck your own cousin who you are married to, seek solace from a scoblin look alike, massage your granny’s slit with axle grease, play scrabble with your blind mother fucker, ask police for money, go to the arcade and fuck a door knob, suck yourself off you bent cunt, then if you have time, before bed, stab yourself with a pickle, in your back box, lick it clean, send it to me and i will send it back. So there you have it, cunt, fuck off, fuck up, fuck you and fuck your kind. Stop paying for sex, give me the money before you fucking die, you silly cunt, and enjoy.

Hey muck why don’t you take a leaf out of your own book and fuck your sister/aunty/cousin who is also your granny. You sound like one fucked up individual with serious sexual fantasies about your pet turtle. Maybe you could go to the library and finger a nerds back cunt behind the sci fi shelves and get yourself the relief you need. Just try it and you may find the real muck and come back here invigorated with a clear vision on how to burn the scoblin.

5052013

MUCK(08:49:20) :

What a fucking insult, cunt, i trusted people not to let on that my granny was my cousin’s sister’s aunty and you have blurted it out all over the fucking world you toilet scum. I admit i have been behind the shelves licking out nigger boy crack, can’t help myself, i love the chocolate background of the firm oval mounds staring back at me as i lose tongue deep into crevice, the bouncing nuggets on my chin, the waft of negro sweat in my heaving nostrils, (as i gasp for breath), and my hands filled with black cock pulsating like a scoblin in a taser tunnel. I no longer have a use for my turtle so i fucked it, cooked it, froze it, unfroze it, froze it, sent it to scoblin, he fucked it, sent it back, you fucked it by mistake, sent it to MRoDT, who after a lengthy deliberation of 8 seconds fucked it, fucked it and fucked it again, now it’s fucked and useless, just like you, you slice of pickled camel cunt. So go wash your mouth out morris and do not come looking for me but look for the scoblin, you know, the one in your bed, sell it to the germans, give me the money, fuck off, try and find your cock or someone else’s cock, dance the fairy dance, get syph, gono, clap and crabs, and fall over.

Listen you cunts, i was tracking fine when a fucking tram passed by and the urge to board was overwhelming, like the urge to have a tug in church or the need to suck a lesso’s cock. I raced to the tram, jumped aboard and the most amazing thing happened, i dropped my pants and pink knickers, and began massaging my naked boy box on the cold vinyl which was glistening with what i later found out to be scoblin froth. I was embarrassed to say the least however when i looked up 1607 other passengers were doing the same scoblin shuffle, some were singing a strange song of words like nyak, let my pussy glow, nyak, nyak, nyak. In the distance, too far to get to i spotted some ugly cunt calling out something like, look at me, look at me, how pretty am i? So my message to all you scum flaps is fuck till you get to point of exhausti……

Muck you are a fuck head plain and simple! You wouldn’t know a scoblin if it stood up in ya porridge. Pop quiz wank stain.
How many dicks has a scoblin?
How many cunts has a scoblin?
What is the scoblins favourite ass sex fruit?
What colour is a scoblin egg?
What colour is the scoblins frilly knickers after a tram ride?
Answer me these five and gain some credibility poo sucker. Eat a Dick.

Stupid Gavo Lezo, the scoblin has had more dicks than wacko jacko at a scout jamboree, and that’s per month. The only cunt he has is the one he sits on with his fav fruit up it, the chinese gooseberry smothered in aniseed flavoured axle grease to allow one or more foreign objects, like Herman or Cliff, to just slip in, poke around for a while, drop some curdled cum-rum which when blended with scob juice froths up like a black cunt on turps and oozes out of once pretty pink-laced princess boy’s panties leaving said material an iridescent cerise, which is a clever lure to attract fellow princess sluts. You already know the color of scob egg, same color as an albino’s eye ball, not unlike the shade of make up you use when cruising the warehouse precinct. So once again try hunting the cunt yourself instead of trawling for boy box and leave me alone, or you will fall down forever more. Muck Muck to you, you grovelling rim licker.

Muck muck, if that is your real name? You seem to have all the knowledge and skills to produce a scoblin yet have not delivered as yet. It seems to any learned or stupid cunt out there that you have all the answers. How’s about putting your knowledge to good use and encourage the fellow scoblin hater with a sliver of insight on how to bag a scoblin and put its filthy vagina cock on display. Stop hiding up north and give the faithful there dues. Muck we need you prowling the trams and badlands to net the fag biscuit. Stop rooting cane toads and make the effort.

Hello dear Major FUCKUP, get with the program cunt, you’ve been told to get a posse of gutter slime together and hunt the fucker down yourselves, it’s what you deserve. I will give you one hint, it lurks about alley ways looking for open doors where it can make a home in unused roof space unbeknown to others. It hides in the undergrowth and puts iridescent fairy dust on its pretty little fucked up boy slot and bares it to all who are passing using a series of well placed mirrors and laser lights. As soon as it finds a like minded princess it’s off to the rafters for scoblin sex, the kind that has never been seen before or witnessed by the church, except for the regular white collars who visit on roster. As you know its vagina cock is revolting in its very existence and should never be put on show, shame on you. You ride the fucking trams and you roam about the bad lands you cunt, i’ve helped enough so get off your pulsating cave and do what you have to, catch the fucking fag, stick your stick bit in it, slam it from side to side, call the nuns, call on any cunt with ginger hair, cunt or head, preferably both, soak you cock in someone elses dead uncle’s root canal and suck a cane toads load. So there. Muck.

Hi Muck. Your knowledge about the scoblin is intriguing. Myself and my collegues would like to know if you would be interested in guest speaking at our upcoming seminar in Cuntsville, Tennessee for the biannual anti scoblin convention. Your insight on this filthy beast may prove invaluable in catching and performing a live disection on the final day of the seven month conference. Let me know if you can fit it in to your busy schedule.

Clive, what a nice name, it stands for Cunts Love Incessant Vaginal Excitation, did you know that? Clive? Yes I would go to Cuntsville and yes I do know about the fucking cunt I re-named the Scob and yes it is the only filthy beast that I know of that dislocates its shoulder so that it can reach around and fist its own ass hole. When it’s dead I wouldn’t bother with a disection I would just grab each side of its sphincter and with a quick flip of the wrists turn the cunt inside out. Embedded in the lining of its boy vag you will find wrist watches, gold bangles, police badges, fermenting camel juice, bicycle seats, mack truck hood ornaments, and a panic whistle that plays nyak in tune with the other end every time the cunt laughs. I can fit it into my schedule but I don’t perform on stage under eight months twenty nine hours and you should seek a grant from everyone to pay me my fucking fee, Tennessee is a cunt of a place to go to and I must be well compensated for putting up with you cunts who know zip about the workings of a scoblin cum seeker. So go ahead and fuck your neighbour’s rooster, cat and beaver, take them with you for solace and send me money, any sort of money, ok Clive?

I think muck is in denial. I think he is the scob and hates himself so much he made up an alter ego. Think about it he knows where it lurks where it sleeps what colour knickers it wears and many other intimate details. I think by day he’s muck and right on dusk the inevitable happens and the pink knickers come on for a trawl around stinking alleys looking for fresh crack. At dawn the cunt slips back into society posing as professor muck muck. What do you think?

Well nigel, you are just another non-believer who has too much time with cock in hand. Let me remind you that i am not a professor but an inspector with the scummycuntdrip task force, your memory is failing you, arsehole. I know the cunt because it is my job to know about such scum, hunt it down, have it fucked, boiled and preserved, sent to the queen and homogenised. Suck a cats clit. Sincerely yours forever, Muck.

Who the fuck do think you are? I am the number one scoblin bounty hunter on this planet. The shit you dribble out your mouth is appauling and I would like to put you to the scoblin hunter’s assesment panel to see if you are in fact licensed under the code. You are on notice until further investigation and if it proves you don’t have a licence to hunt scoblin i will track you down and bring you to justice in the main street with a mouthfull of scoblin shit. Leave it to the pro’s cunt and stop living a lie!

Just another fucking impersonator coming into the affray. I know who I am and you would be well advised to keep your fucking opinions to yourself, shitlips. If you are so fucking good why is the cunt still at large, you got no idea how to find it let alone bring it in, and it should be you fronting the panel not a well recognised enforcement expert like myself. The scoblin shit wont happen because you cant find the cunt however I have scoblin shit in the evidence room from past encounters with the beast and I am putting you on notice that it will be you munching on scob poo if you don’t retract your disrespectful comments and show some respect. My suggestion to you is go find a disused badger vag, smash your cock around in it for a while, go visit Turkey, don’t come back till asked, have your rim waxed and give it to your uncle, take a deep breath and walk around the world a couple of times and when finished sit down for a break and apologise to everybody on earth. This is Muck Muck cunt.

Hey muck what is exactly you inspect? Is the inside of the fuchsia coloured knickers of the scoblin or is it deeper into the cavern of the scobs mangina. Perhaps its your own pecker after you ram it down the scoblins throat. Please let me know the outcome after your next inspection you dirty scobble rooter!

27062013

Anonymous(04:37:29) :

Reggie, Tyrone, Nigel, etc etc, any other fuck out there want to jump on board and fuck me?, you cunts. I’ve just about had enough of your petty insults and i am moving on, find it yourselves, fuck it, burn it or do what you please to it, count me out from here on unless everyone of you cocksuckers retract and apologise, which you wont because you delight in being cunts without direction. Well i’ll give you direction, go fuck a pig in central park, suck off your least favorite uncle, lick around a downie’s bell top for parmesan, go cave diving in your granny’s cavern, find the scob, play with it, marry it, boil its balls in garlic and feed it to the italians. Let me know when you have done these tasks and i will find you some more, if your are lucky, you fucking whores. Kind advice from Muck. Get fucked!

Hi muck muck, you are my hero! My dad told me about the scoblin just before he died. He said it is a hiddious creature that should be swept away from existence. He taught me to smack the scoblin in its man vag with a ceder stick to keep it at bay while you kick it in the girl bag to stop it making babies. I have 14 dollars in my piggy bank that I want to give to you! Will you take me under your wing and make me just like you?

Oh muck you silly little fag crust. I used to think you were the gun scob wrangerler. What a disapointntment you are. My friends and I remember the good ol days when you were someone. What a massive cunt you became all stories no worth. We often reminisce the hero that was and lament the gay icon you have become. Such a demise. When the younger generation of scoblin haters speak of you its always in jest.. what happened my hero you gave in and succumbed to the scoblin spell. Lame at best!