Breaching the surface

I had a long line today . Not that I mind , I wouldn’t be playing my part in this , if I wasn’t there for you when you need me .

Much were saying the same thing . “What do I need to do , to get better ? ”

That’s a hard one to answer and I usually say

” what do you think , you need to do ? ”

Because really it’s up to you …

You know you could change “in a heart beat ” if you really wanted to. I’m just not sure many of you do right now ?

It’s all about priority .

What your priority when you come to PACE.

To get better at “acting” ?
To experience it all ?
To stay much the same ?

I think the “flush of want” was slightly off the oranger cheeks this week. I think the word ” complacency ” was creeping in a little, where once genuine passion was present

The warm up – going through the motions of it and a quietness in the spaces and I could also tell that with the non presence of all but a trusted few on the blog over the past weeks .

5/6 who make the effort to say to me that they are still interested more or at least there at the end of a post ? and for that appreciative ? maybe of the extra effort I put in , to stay connected to you outside the once a week space we share ?

I could also just switch off and scroll my news feed , get swallowed up in lost time , but I think some times it’s important to stay in touch, more personally , in this other drama way and not use a lazy thumb in place of my cyber voice.

Priority will always define you here , it will always measure your progress and , may hold you back , if occasionally you don’t put it first – when it most matters. That’s first in a broader sense . Not ahead of school. Just first when you come here .

The thing about getting better is , you need to be “in it ” all the time – the change vibe that is -the want to work at the stuff that’s quite hard now.

If you are a completely different person outside the space, then don’t expect to be great in it .

If you spend your entire life trying to be someone else , then how do you expect yourself to be able to be you again, here in the room ? You can’t , because you don’t think you is often good enough. The other version of you is the one you prefer to be.

That’s what is going wrong for some of you just now

The fitting in outside ?
The need to be the popular choice ?
The wallflowers that no one bothers about, better just keep a low profile ?

So when you suddenly come to act – you naturally stall .

Because you still haven’t “met your truer self ” yet , not really .

You are still pretending most of the time, to be another?

In sessions it’s important to give the real you a chance , that you wouldn’t give yourself outside . Because you are worried about what others think , or what they might say or do to you if you acted the way you more honestly felt.

But…where else are you going to be able to relax and be yourself with like minded others than in a truthful drama space – drama is about self expression, allowing yourself to act freely, because you love being creatively you.

Acting is also about finding yourself in another some times , but by taking bits of yourself that you understand and finding bridges to these others you have to be too.

You are not all the same , but you are similar .

You are all insecure and unsure of yourselves , especially at this age

Second year is the hardest I think . The novelty of first year is over and you are left with what you create going in to high school .

Not always the best choices as many find out by third year and I’m not talking just subjects. It’s the group clique that often do most harm on the way up, the school ladder.

Well…What can you do to combat this ?

One thing is take what you have signed up for here and live every moment as if it really matters .

Gorge on the culture , Google every word , every concept you don’t know

Express ideas and opinions more openly with one another

Own up to your feelings , however small or insignificant you think they are

Don’t second guess yourself , gut instinct is always right For the drama space – it’s the one place you don’t have to go to a school text book for the answer.

Make your presence felt every time you speak, let people know you are in this for more than mere fun.

Don’t hide and hug the walls , or worse your knees !

Be whale-like in the way you approach your work .

Breach the surface of your usual calm state , make waves in the space, shower yourself and others in your passion for drama , don’t fall to the bottom of the class , like a dull lead weight and anchor your ambition to floating sand

So the VOICE session was complicated – so what …how many teenagers get a chance to really understand how wonderful their voice is as a machine ? Get to work on it , to give themselves a better tool of communication for their futures.

So …I was quite short in my critique of groups progress – so yes …I need to start being tougher with you now , to push you up , forward , centre and out your young comfort zones.

That’s my way now we know one another better . You have to trust me that it is for your eventual good .

The line of “ask M” spoke volumes , about how many felt themselves slipping back to lazy habits …

Some of you were great younger . Yes we know that …

But those days are gone and you’ll have to change , evolve , grow into stronger adolescent performers now …not remain PACE “child stars” , please stop living in the shadow of your pace-past .

Look what happened to PAN because he couldn’t lose his shadow ?

You all ” go dark ” at some point in Spires , like a veil over drawn your performance light , and always more with the really good ones , because they fear more, that they fall from a greater height in others eyes .

They don’t though – fall , they just don’t fit their younger bodies and voices and minds any more and need to find something new to become . You are still there and your performance light , but as a caterpillar changes to butterfly, The chrysalis stage is the time you need to take stock of what matters , make better choices and come to terms with the past , to be able to spread your wings Out and into the New .

Chrysalis is a time of personal growth through learning . It is its own powerful awakening . Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it.

If you dont want this tougher approach , this different road , this broader perspective . Don’t take it , stop now and we can find where else you can fit . It’s not failing , it’s being realistic.

But if you do then start making much more of an effort, and stop pretending you are working at it , when you are clearly not

This page is an extra class , merit it is as such ; and once a week let me hear “your hand up ” commenting in this Scene cyber space

10-20 minutes out your usual mediaweek isn’t much to ask for a better pace life ? Stop being lazy and predictable

The culture is going to make you smarter and more stylish on stage , once you let your Teenage ego stop telling you it’s boring , none of your friends like that stuff , or you can’t actually be bothered …!!

The voice work is the stuff of real good ( short Oo) acting . Your jaw should hurt , your mouth feel stretched and out of place slightly , your energy levels should be drained ( but in a good feeling way )

You should go away thinking I was good ( short Oo) today . Not “how can I get better” ?!!

I’ll be patient with you if I see you giving back in other ways . Contributing beyond the class walls. In your culture pursuit , in your scene cyber interaction , in your approach in rehearsals.

If not I’ll tend to think this is not your thing and better to place you somewhere you’ll feel more comfortable .

I don’t want to push you where you don’t want to go . It’s not fair on you . If this isn’t for you.

You’ll never be pushed to be “actors” , it takes enormous talent and dedication to act, something few ever get to consider , but I’ll push you “as youth actors” when we work together.

And that’s a really great thing to be able to be part of .

That’s what makes Spires Thetare Scene special and very different from the other hundreds of stage schools and youth Theatres “out there” who don’t .

Who treat you like a staged chorus of kids, who think that’s all “young” people can do ?!

I refuse to see your age as a barrier to better technique early on . I see only your potential, and so I latch on to that and push, push , push …you off the edge of whatever you need to let go of …

We will have lots and lots of fun and laughter and good( short Oo) times ahead I promise ; but we can’t have great times till we all are singing from the same song sheet . ( even a well learned Russian one )

Till we all work as hard as each other . Look how hard I work in the space , start matching that ! You are more than capable if you try.

I’m not ever against you – realise that . I’m for you , but I’m for the “you” deep inside that some of you deny and consider not good enough to be seen .

I’m for the “you” that shines through your eyes , saying ” bring me out to play M ”

That’s the you I want to meet in Spires next Saturday . Okay ?

Not anyone else . Anyone else isn’t “good enough” for this – only you are .

I’ll be in touch midweek with arrangements for next Saturday . Look over voice sheets . Listen for ” flat ” vowels in school , under energised voices , sounds stuck at the back of mouths , not being brought out for all to hear , the voices that shape your life.

Because unfortunately that’s the way you seem to want to speak in high school ? That’s the way you think you’ll be accepted ; and when you leave , you are stuck with it , a flat uninspiring voice because you’ve trained yourself that way .

Keep correcting yourself mentally when you hear yourself flattening the sounds . Slowly your brain will recognise the difference you want to make in the way you speak and your voice will improve – you will sound ” nicer ” .

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17 Responses to Breaching the surface

I re-edited this post , always in my pursuit of being better . Still a few predictive text typos but hey ho !
Anyway suffice to say comments didn't transfer so for your effort in more publicallt speaking :
Orla - that's the girl I know and " drama love "
Ben A - just enough replied , a boy who really listens , who takes on board what I'm saying to him . And from the impression you made on much older SPACE today , someone who will become , quite exceptional , in future .
Erin - so good to hear you say that . Xbox is a mind killer watch it doesn't claim you. It did my son , who was great PACE till it got its addictive claws into him .
I think you are going to get a lot more from WHALE than you imagine
Amie - keep listening and hour voice will come . I was very impressed with you in the casting round , a lovely naturalness that will become more acting styled in future
Deborah - I'm glad the post resonated with you and nice to see a different " Russell " having her intelligent say
Sophie - maybe you're still not quite yourself . Takes time to bounce back from being unwell . Give yourself space and don't be too hard on yourself. Your body need time to get its energy levels back up to speed.
Reb D - despicably good idea ! Gru is a good point of reference for an accent . Whatever " floats your Russian boat " . A broader cultural reference for you to consider . There's merit in Pixar.
Meg - I know you are trying to squeeze every ounce of practical time out your Spires life . Good for you . I'm sure it will come back to serve you really well in future . I'd like to see that culture journal of yours sometime
Morgan - already moving up and on , the way you approach things , show your priorities are straight in your mind . And I'm sure you'll agree you are having so much extra fun around Spires because of it .
Shine on
See you all on Saturday , thanks for putting your hand up .

Hey Mhairi it sounds like I missed a lot on Saturday. Could you maybe email my dad the Vocal Sheet just so I can go over it. I will talk to people from orange just to see what I've missed but is their anything I should watch or look in to for next week. I can't wait to get started on Whale
See you next week
Max x

after reading this post it really made me think about my approach to drama and how wanting it so badly and being determined isn't quite enough. its all about the priorities and although drama and school are my top priorities and my friends are no where near the top its the "other" stuff like commenting on the blog and researching all of the words i dont know instead of watching the all t.v. that my family watch that boars me out my head.
i have been watching a lot of sky arts recently and i have some suggestions if anyone is interested... tonight at 7 o'clock there is a documentary on the 70s
also there is a series running called "hollywood singing and dancing" that i have been watching that some of you may enjoy
i cant wait until Saturday and also for the casting list to go out this week.
olivia xx

as i read this post i was thinking especially about the part where you mentioned that we are no longer the kids who dont care who was watching I, and im sure a few others, definetley lost my confidence when i realised i was self concious about what i lookd like, i really enjoy the envoiroment of the group i am in as i feel that we can all earn of off one another, i definetley need to branch out in my culture wise. i cant wait for saturday
Nadia X

I feel like my priorities have changed slightly recently, I've become frustrated with myself because I've been finding it hard to just let go of any self doubt. I don't think I really truly know myself and I think that's affecting it. So I'm going to work a lot harder to change that because I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to attend PACE and have so many amazing experiences and I want to just keep getting better so I can get the most out of it all.
Katie xx

Last rehearsal I really felt I let go of a lot of self conscious things like how my voice sounded after the audition for the storyteller part because it made me think that if I really want to achieve something then I had better go for it and not let things like 'fitting in',which I'm sure it has held a lot of people back, stop me. After that I felt so much more comfortable in the workshop and I felt like I could Properly enjoy it instead of over-thinking. I'm really looking forward to next week and I'm excited to watch the films.
Xxx

I enjoyed the Voice session. It is quite wonderful what your voice can really do. I really liked the part when you mentioned about being the real you. Obviously I know what the real me is like, and to be perfectly honest it the only difference is that I'm way more quiet and reserved in Spires. I've really taken into account what you said about being the real you.
I'm very excited for Whale, something about it just really appeals to me. I thinks it's the actule story of whale plus the movement aspect of it and the voice work; so basically everything.
Can't wait till Saturday
Olivia Xx

I don't know how other people feel, but personally I love this blog. I love to see whats going on, what I should aim to be a part of and what other peoples opinions are. I guess you could call me nosy but I prefer to say interested!
My voice isn't my strongest point but its something I want to work at because I want to improve my whole performance and not just little bits of it. The Russian song that we sung (don't know how to spell its proper name) was confusing to me, but once I got the hang of it, it just kind of flowed naturally, as if I knew the language.
Ive never really been a huge 'worshiper' of movies. I can watch them and enjoy them, but I'd rather watch a TV series because the episodes are shorter than a movie, and I think its easier to loose interest in movies because they are longer. But there is some wonderful movies out there that I really enjoy to watch over and over again!
Whale has a different concept to any show I've ever done before. I am a huge lover of history and love learning about different aspects of it, so I am interested to learn more about the Cold War and America and Russia's dislike of each other. I also find mythology and gods/goddesses interesting and like to learn about different cultures and beliefs, this also goes alongside my love of RMPS! I love the fact that nature could practically stop a war and make two countries work together for whats right, and I'm interested to see what our show turns out like.
-Lucy x

I have loved doing the voice work, I learnt so much all ready and now when I hear someone speak I think of it in so much more depth than the sounds coming out you mouth. Learning and understanding about all the different sounds organs and breathing that make up the speech, I really felt helped us break down our voices and use them more inteligently!
I fell like I have sloped on the blog front a bit, I read every one but only post when it comes to ones that really affect me, what I have come to realise is even if you are not directly apart of it, you can still learn and take so much from the bigger spires picture and that is something I need to do more of!
Working my way through many of the films! I don't aim to sit down on a school night and finish a movie as there is just not enough time in the day but if I try to watch, look up or try something new a night then by the end of the week you will know so much more.
Really looking forward to Saturday! Whale is a very interesting play that works on two levels, I particularly liked the story of Sedna and the raven. On Saturday I am just going to come in and totally let go, allow myself to be full of emotion and express it. I know with a new mindset that will be possible!!! Thank you mhairi for being true with us, pushing us and not treating us like 'children'!!
Anna Xx

I have loved Orange so far! I have certainly been pushed out of my comfort zone once or twice but none the less it has been great! I am so annoyed I didn't go for the storyteller. I don't know what had come over me, I just thought I had a rubbish voice but I know now I should have at least tried and even if I had failed at least I had tried. I completely agree with you Mhairi we aren't children anymore! I will definitely try so much harder next rehearsal!

This post really got me thinking about why I didn't go for the role of storyteller. I should have gone for it, and even once we were all outside while you(Mhairi) were inside, I felt quite upset with myself. I've learnt from this that in the future, I will not hold back, and I will have more confidence in myself. Overall though, it was a great rehearsal and I cannot wait for the next rehearsal!
Robbie

Seeing this post made me feel very optimistic and open minded to what i need to do if i want to "get" drama and understand the content.I felt as if the last couple of weeks i have been struggling in what to do but after reading this i can only realise that what to do is for myself to find out. I was in the "bottom" group for the performance groups but im not sad or annoyed i am just going to think of it as a ladder, you need to start at the bottom to get he top so thats what im going to do. I also wanted ro say i have been watching some of the reccomended movies and so far so AMAZING. I have watched "The Circle" which was an eye opener for because i cane ro thought that there doeant need to be amazing costumes and lots of scenes to have a good movie and/or play it only needs a good storyline and personnally thats what struck me about The Circle, Although it was an excellent movie i wasnt quite sure about the end so if someone that has seen it and got it please gt back to me and explain it that would be great! I also watched Matthew Bournes Edward Scissorhands Ballet on youtube (it was quite blurry and pixelated but definetly worth a watch. I tried ro get the link on here but it woulnd paste, sorry)
Elena x

After reading this post I'm feeling a lot better and positive about drama and pace. Although I do wish that I really went for the voice and movement auditions and not of held back. I've also watched some great films and really enjoyed them. Can't wait for Saturday xx

As I was reading this blog I felt like I understood every word of it and I could 'get' what you were refering to. I have been feeling a bit out of place and very nervous because of the fact that I am unable to do whale. I just feel like if I am not doing this show that is going to be so big and is going to help everyone become a better actor ànd help them go further in pace- and I will get left behind.
But after reading this blog, it really gave me a kick up the backside and a shake! I relised that its not necessarily what I do but its ME! Its up to myself to improve myself and find myself- my true self!
Ì have also been watching alot of the films on my list, and I have to say that I have honestly loved watching all these new things that I would never normally watch! Im definitely going to carry on through my film list and really binge on the culture!
I am now fully focused on my voice and Verona. I just cant wait to gef rehearsing and expanding our house ideas!
- Lucy x

I appreciated this post and all the work that you put in to help us. I just feel that sometimes my best isn't good enough but I don't like witting a lot of negative things because I feel i have had my criticism and what I need to work on then let's try to make that a positive thing. I'm going to comment more on the log now. I related to something that you said Mhairi about why I didn't post as much anymore and I feel like I can't come up with something as creative as everyone else and I can find it hard to explain how I feel. But I now know that what I write doesn't need to be really abstract and really, really different form everyone else, it just needs to be the honest truth. I am really trying in Whale but admittedly I do find it difficult because as I've said I am not a very abstract thinking person... Yet. I find it difficult to think out side of the box. But I really want to improve someway in this group. Who knows maybe this will be the best thing I've ever done in Pace so far, we'll just need to keep going until the end and see what happens alone the way.
AnnaXX