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Otis is a typical three year old. There are times often months when he is happy to brush his teeth and then suddenly he starts refusing. He will put on his shoes independently for weeks then he starts asking for help. Montessori has taught me a few ways to promote care of self activities so I thought I would take some time to share.

Knowledge and Skill. The child needs to have knowledge of and the skills required to complete the task. In most cases the child will need the steps of the task broken down. The child depending on their stage in development may be only able to complete part of the task, for example a child could get their shoes out and slip their feet in, a parent could pull the straps and the child can attach the velcro. Or the parent rinses a face wash cloth and the child wipes their own face. As the child completes each step the parent can start preparing for the next. I suggest parents provide the least amount of assistance required for the child to complete the task.

Environment. Without a supportive environment it's difficult for a child to complete care of self activities. The easier it is for the child the more likely it is that they will participate. Step stools to reach basins, low mirror, drink station, snack table. The child needs to be able to reach and access all of the materials required. The environment also needs to be orderly so the child can find and return all of their materials. Cups and glasses need to be cleaned, snacks need to be restocked. There needs to be a place for everything. If there is no hook or place to store hats, towels or free hangers for clothes it's likely (in our home) these would end up on the floor.

Time. I have found that young children cannot be rushed. If I ask Otis to hurry often this results in distracting him to the point it actually slows him down. Children need adequate time to complete their activities. They need time and space (hovering doesn't help) to get dressed, put their shoes on etc.

Expectation/Habit/Routine. These are all so important for the child know what is expected of them. If it is part of the child's routine to brush their teeth after bath time then it becomes automatic. The child knows what happens next and knows what to do. It becomes habit and routine to the point they just do it without thinking and move on to the next thing.

Consistency. I know this can be terribly difficult sometimes especially if you need to get out the door in a rush. However as much as possible we need to respect the child's right to complete the task themselves. Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. If a child can tie their shoes then they should have the opportunity to do so every time. It doesn't help if sometimes you tie their shoes then other times you expect them to do it.

Beauty. This is really relevant to the environment and materials. Children (and adults!) are attracted to beauty. If the environment and materials are beautiful, if they are attractive, it's more likely the child will use them. Beauty means different things to different people but for many people this means using lovely natural materials. Nice baskets to store clothes, gorgeous plates, tablecloths, aprons, napkins etc.

Interests/Likes. A child isn't going to prepare their own snack if they don't like the food on offer. I use interests and likes as incentives for the child to become involved. I know it isn't always possible but Otis is heavily involved in clothes and shoe shopping. He selects his favourite toothpaste from the shop. I keep his interests and likes in mind when selecting materials.

These tips don't and won't solve all of our problems however they address most of the barriers to children being involved in care of self activities.

This week we made two new additions to the bathroom. A box of tissues and a bin. Although Otis has been here before a lesson on blowing and wiping his nose and a discussion on the importance of hygiene was required. Otis isn't currently coughing or sneezing however are these are good grace and courtesy lessons. The children have access to tissues in the cupboard but when a cold strikes it's best we put them in a more visible location.

Without a bin prominently displayed my children tend to 'pile' the tissues on the counter, so a bin near the mirror helps. The mirror is key, Otis needs to be able to see himself clearly in order to effectively wipe his nose. He also need access to fresh face towels to clean his face. It's kind of working, let's say his nose blowing and wiping still needs improvement. This is a cute nose blowing post from Itty Bitty Love. I cringe when I see parents restrain their child to wipe their nose (totally disempowering) - this article has more on the Montessori approach. My main tips to Otis are to fold the tissue in half (most often in Montessori they are already folded in quarters), blow and wipe in the centre of the tissue, put tissue in the bin and wash hands. Otis has previously used folding cloths to practice folding which helps a lot.

So what are some other key care of self lessons/activities for this age group? Otis has some of these mastered however in most areas there is still work to be done/reinforcement required. For example Otis can completely dress himself however occasionally he will wear elastic waisted pants that also have a button - he is still learning to do the button.

Dressing and Undressing - I include in this selecting appropriate clothing (occasion and weather), buttoning as mentioned, putting on shoes (Otis is still using velcro shoes and hasn't attempted laces yet), putting away clean laundry (in the basket or on a clothes hanger) and putting dirty/worn clothes in the right way and in the dirty-clothes basket. It's also worth mentioning Otis now recognises when he needs to wear a hat and about sun protection - even at home plays in the shade unless he has a hat on. We are also working on recognising when we need to pack a rain coat.

Toileting - Complete use of the toilet including dressing and washing hands when finished. Replacing finished toilet rolls (yes - this too!).

Applying sunscreen/lotion - Using bottles, applying, rubbing in and determining when required.

Brushing teeth - This also includes applying toothpaste to the toothbrush, rinsing and Otis has just started learning about flossing.

Brushing/combing and washing hair - Otis has been able to wash his own hair in the shower however in the bath he has only just started washing his hair himself including pouring water over his head to rinse his hair himself.

Bathing - This includes washing and drying. Washing face and wiping eyes and ears, cleaning in-between toes and all the tricky parts. Also preparing the bath (putting the plug in, with supervision turning on the tap and putting in bath salts/bubblebath) and hanging up robes and towels.

Hand-washing - Thorough hand-washing with soap including under nails (using a nail brush) and completely drying the hands.

Feeding - This includes self feeding, using a napkin to clean hands/face, getting snack and pouring a drink. Packing and preparing snack or lunch box and filling water bottle for school or outings. Setting the table and putting away dirty dishes. This also including selecting the right food for their body (recognising which foods to eat at snack time, lunch time and which foods are treats) and acting on thirst (water is best).

Managing injury/applying band-aids - Including removal and disposal of band-aids. For a long time we had to keep the pack out of reach and just leave one or two in the children's bathroom however Otis can now be trusted/lost interest in band-aids and will only use them when necessary, now we keep an entire packet accessible.

Self awareness - This includes the child recognising and acting on pain, tiredness, sadness, anger includes staying calm and being aware of their emotions and feelings.

Managing belongings/Preparing and packing school bag - Otis doesn't do this independently but each morning together we check he has all he needs for school (change of clothes, water bottle, snack box and fruit, sunscreen, hat).

Exercise and rest - This is a bit of an odd one to include here however I believe it's important for children to know about exercise/physical activity and rest. This includes introducing physical activity every day as a habit (after school my children throw or kick a ball, hit a tennis ball on a string, ride bikes, go swimming, practice soccer with a goal net, use a swing) and also know that they need rest (feeling their body is tired) and to go to bed, sit down. We try to incorporate meditation (guided) and a little yoga into this.

It's also worth mentioning cutting hair and nails. Before cutting Otis' nails I will ask him if his nails need cutting. This brings it to his attention. Leading up to having a hair cut we will have a similar discussion about his hair getting in his eyes and needing a trim.

I know most Montessori parents will already be convinced however the importance of care of self activities cannot be overstated. They prepare the child for life long good habits, they empower the child and build self confidence and self worth. The care of self activities the child can be involved in changes through stages of development but we cannot deny the child the opportunity to be as involved as possible.

Please feel free to add or discuss care of self activities that you may be working on with your child or children.

What do your children do while you cook dinner? Often it's the time that Otis doesn't want to be working or playing independently. It's nice to have him by my side and I can always find something for him to do. It usually involves carrots - peeling, cutting. We can always add carrot sticks to a meal. Sometimes he likes to play in the sink but there is always some mashing, grating, peeling, slicing to do. I think this might have been Otis' first time peeling a potato and it took a fair bit of concentration.

Fabric designed by a Montessori teacher (here and here). I have some samples now I just need to decide what to make!

I recently purchased this from Etsy and I love it. I wish we had one when Otis was little. So good on so many levels (coordination, fine motor, wrist rotation, hand strength). I wanted to see and hold it before I recommend it, the one we received is good quality and the thread is very smooth.

The Rhythm Board - a tactile and intuitive way to teach rhythm - Kickstarter campaign.

Wow! What a busy week it was. The boys started back at school which meant our days were really full. As Otis spends the mornings at school (he finishes at 12) we have one-on-one time until it's time to pick Caspar up (he finishes at 3). It's been so nice to have quiet, concentrated time with Otis.

Our afternoons have been spent doing lots of practical life and fun, relaxing work. Above on Tuesday Otis learnt to use the egg beater - which is genius, so easy for him to use once he got the action and coordination right.

Our afternoons are often filled with washing, cleaning and cooking. Luckily he is more than willing to help. The washing trolley is a current favourite.

Wednesday. Otis has been working with this knitting fork for a couple of weeks and is pretty pleased with the results. For full disclosure he has made a few mistakes, which we are embracing. He wants to make a skipping rope but we'll have to wait and see.

Painting is always relaxing. No rules, no instruction just Otis and some pots of paint - and lots of paper.

Thursday. I find using our senses in a really directed way is an instant stress relief. We could have used these in cooking but instead we just sat down and crushed the leaves in our hands and smelt them, Otis is also trying to learn their names and using common garden herb cards.

Below is one of Otis' current favourite games - the shopping game. It's a little bit of numeracy work (mainly number recognition) but most of all it's fun role play. To make this game I cut out and laminated images from a grocery store catalogue and we use play coins and notes. When Caspar (aged seven, not pictured) plays this game he adds up the items and then gives the correct change.

Friday. The boys spend so much time outside playing soccer, kicking or hitting balls or just chasing each other around. Often Otis takes his balance board outside or just plays quietly with it on the deck.

1. Pouring with a small funnel and a small bottle, 2. Pouring with a funnel and large bottle, 3. Transferring with a pipette (using colour mixing bottles), 4. Transferring ping pong balls with wire skimmer, 5. Pouring from pitcher to pitcher, 6. Transferring with pipette into ice tray, 7. Transferring sponge with mini metal tongs, 8. Transferring with large baster.

It happens the same time every year. Christmas is over and our guests have left. The excitement and over- stimulation have finished and Otis is acting out-of-sorts. The boys have been spending lots of time on the water slide, at the swimming pool, running around. However something is telling me Otis needs to slow down.

He has been working here and there but I decided to totally change up his shelves and include some soothing water and transferring activities. Most of these are good old favourites and some are a new take on a previous activities. A smaller funnel and a very small bottle, smaller sponge pieces are good examples of making an old activity more challenging. Coloured water makes a difference as it always gets his attention.

All of these activities are fantastic for fine motor control, bilateral coordination, core strength and many require the child to cross the mid-line. Even carrying these activities from the shelf to the work table requires strength and skill.

Otis can do all of these activities (he doesn't need a demonstration) however they still very much attractive to him. They require him to slow down and concentrate. They are done repetitively. A very serious session of transferring brings him down a level, he achieves some calm and quiet.

How do you know if the activity is appropriate/attractive to your child? See how often they go back to it. I love how after a couple of days Otis turns this transferring activity into colour mixing!

"When the children had completed an absorbing bit of work, they appeared rested and deeply pleased. It almost seemed as if a road had opened up within their souls that led to all their latent powers, revealing the better part of themselves." - Maria Montessori

"An interesting piece of work, freely chosen, which has the virtue of inducing concentration rather than fatigue, adds to the child's energies and mental capacities, and leads him to self-mastery." - Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind.

We have been in a bit of a cleaning frenzy. The time between Christmas and the New Year is a great time to take some much needed time off work and clean and freshen up our house. There is no reason for the children not to be a part of this. Montessori said "Play is the work of the child" however she recognised children preferred to do real work over pretend. Children need the opportunity for real - age, developmentally and culturally appropriate work. Montessori also recognised the importance of concentration and that concentration leads to perseverance. Two things many three year olds need more of. Work also needs to be relevant to the child to be engaging and it must always be by the choosing of the child. Here I've captured Otis totally absorbed in his work, it's so purposeful - who doesn't love a clean refrigerator?

One day Otis spilt some milk on the kitchen floor. 'I'll just go get my mop' he said to me and off he went. He cleaned up the milk and put his mop away. He was two. I totally credit his school (and teachers) for this as he had recently started in a formal Montessori classroom.

I guarantee you cleaning up after accidentally making a spill or breakage happens naturally, automatically to children (including toddlers) in Montessori environments all around the world - everyday. Often in Montessori schools using a mop or wet mopping is actually presented as a lesson. Not to say that Otis always cleans up his spills (he doesn't) but what (to me!) is miraculous is that at two years old he could recognise a spill and without even thinking collect the materials and clean it up. This can only happen when and where the environment allows for it.

A child is much less likely to clean up if his materials are out of reach, he doesn't know which cloth to use, if he has to ask for help.

It's not just about independence. It is also about self pride. Contributing to a community. Doing a job/task well. Completing a job/task from start to finish. About being a responsible person. It is about respecting a child enough to allow them to clean up after themselves.

Our cleaning station as pictured above is located in a small cupboard under our stairs. It is the same area where I keep my broom and mop and our vacuum cleaner and buckets. Previously we stored the children's cleaning materials in and near the kitchen. We still need cleaning cloths and a spray bottle in the kitchen kept on the pantry shelves, but where the materials are located really depends on each family and each home.

A children's cleaning station isn't just for children in the sensitive period for practical life. It's for all children. In the sensitive period or not children need to have access to their materials. Caspar (now 7) doesn't particularly gain enjoyment (but perhaps satisfaction) from cleaning (as Otis does) but still needs to be able to find and reach a broom or dustpan for when he needs to clean up a breakage or spill.

In my last order from Karla I asked her to pop in a set of folding cloths for Otis. I didn't use them with Caspar (although he would have had access to them at school) and I really wish I did. I think I've mentioned previously that Otis has a tendency to rush his work, while enjoying the task he is quick to finish and move onto the next thing. I'm hoping the folding cloths can be just one of many activities where I can show him how slowing down and being accurate/precise is important.

Folding cloths like this would be easy to DIY, the stitching could be done by hand or replaced by some permanent marker. The stitching/lines are there to guide the child to fold the cloths in several different ways. The demonstration part is easy too - using slow, deliberate movements the child can quickly catch on. And the practical implications in the home environment are obvious, the child can move onto folding laundry, folding napkins for table settings or perhaps origami!

I've mentioned before about Montessori not being something we do during a specific hour, at a designated time, about it being more of a parenting and educational philosophy. Once you get the hang of it, it's easy to make Montessori a part of every day. And to those who are skeptical of Montessori I think the way we live makes sense.

Gosh Otis loves to sweep and he loves these stairs. I get that cleaning is really satisfying - and that the stairs needed sweeping. Sometimes he makes a rushed effort but today he paid attention to detail.

Today he kept on checking the temperature, it was a particularly warm day.

Getting his materials from a kitchen drawer. He also has the drawer above this one for his other/baking materials. While we were travelling we really missed him having access to his own kitchen materials and food. I think I heard a million times 'I'm hungry' 'I'm thirsty'. We rarely hear this at home as he can fix these things for himself.

Eating while he works. I haven't set this up as something for him to do. He has got the strawberries from the refrigerator, his materials from the cupboard, he is slicing the strawberries because he is hungry.

Making basil pesto for dinner. I put the ingredients on the board and Otis did the rest - most of the basil was already finely chopped and he put in a little too much olive oil but we can live with that.