Paige is 20 days old today and I can’t remember what life was like before her. Actually I can, that was when I could sleep, relax etc.

She is feeding well after initially losing weight (more than her allowed 10%), I was worried for a while but she seems to be doing well now. I will weigh her again tomorrow. Birth weight was 3280 gms, she dropped to a low 0f 2900 gms, but was back up to 3010 last week.

Breastfeeding is a bit of a nightmare. As I had a breast reduction done 7 years ago there was always some doubt about if I would be able to feed her or not. I was able to express some colostrum when she was in the hospital which was an excellent start. At day 4 my doctor (and the paediatrician) prescribed me some medication to help bring my milk on and had me expressing after every feed. This worked with some success.

I am also taking Fenugreek three times a day to enhance my milk supply. All of this combined with 3-hourly feeds, expressing and also topping her up on demand, I am exhausted. My poor nipples were so sore and damaged from all of this attention that I have now resorted to nipple shields (they have really saved the day) and I am able to feed her quite well, although I do wish there was a gauge on the boobs and the baby so I could know for sure if she is getting enough. I so hope she gains weight this week.

Paige has been a reasonably settled baby except for the last couple of days. I can’t leave her to cry and find myself picking her up all of the time. Once again, exhausting. At night she sleeps in my room – in a bassinet or a co-sleeper that I have next to me – I found this easier as the pain from the c/section really made it hard for me to get out of bed.

My weight seems to be coming off well. In all I gained 12 kgs (27 lbs) during the pregnancy and have lost all of that except the last 3 kgs (6 lbs). This still leaves me with another 13 kgs to go – thanks IVF and comfort eating!! I will be taking Paige, the dog, and the pram out for walks soon, and will be joining Weightwatchers for the millionth time, I have to get fit and healthy for this little girl. I want to be a yummy mummy.

I find myself holding her in my arms and I almost can’t believe she is mine. She is sleeping now, I might take the opportunity to have a shower….