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Thursday, September 29, 2016

When Conforming is a Good Decision

Julia Refiner, a kindred friend, writer, and one filled with spiritual wisdom says:

I Want to Be Conformed to Christ's Image

I don't quite know where to begin. One thing popped in my mind: I want to be conformed to Christ’s image. I’m certainly not there. I sin, I come to my knees and beg for His grace, He pours out His love and bids me stand up.

All my journeys together match up to this one overriding goal: to hear well done good and faithful servant. Knowing that I don’t deserve anything, but so grateful for His mercy moment-by-moment helping me through my days.

Sometimes these are tiring days. All of you know about that. Busyness takes over, but He calls me sit at his feet, like Mary, pouring my best out for Him. My best that is worth nothing, my efforts that are worth nothing. But Jesus delights in my songs, off-key, often with wrong words thrown in. The visceral heart cries when I’m desperate and can do nothing more than cry out a plea.

My writing, too, desperately broken. I bleed on the page, yet sometimes I cauterize the wounds with a styptic pencil preferring the temporary sting to the shame of sharing my true self on the page. As the blood flows freely, He gently bandages my wounds yet asks me to show the scars to others so they can find healing. I flinch at the sight. Want to turn away at the thought of my wretched self.

Homeschooling, too, a constant breaking. Of my time as I watch another writer friend pile away pages per day after placing her girls on the yellow school bus. Patience, as I pray for grace to finish another math lesson, a constant reminder of my lack. Strength and energy lacking, thoughts of self-doubt in abundance. Coming to you with broken pieces, begging for you to put me back together.

I am…

*a desperate sinner in need of Christ’s grace every moment

being sanctified, and conformed into His image

*a wife who desperately desires to be a life-giving helper

learner at the hands of my beloved 4 and 7 year olds

*a fumbling writer desperate to minister to others

*a messy housekeeper

*a lover of food who is learning to care for her temple

*an intercessor as led by the Spirit of God

More than anything else, if one word could define my life I think I would want it to be worshipper. Worshipper of the living God. To have my life be about who He is and not who I am. Let my writing, my prayer life, my family relationships all be defined by this single word. HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!

Julia used worshipper as a single word she'd like to define her life. I would like the word encourager to define my life. What word would you like to define yours?

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