NEW Floss Gloss Resort 2014

I wish you guys could hear me when I’m referencing movies in my posts. It’d make my jokes better, I think. Just reread that first part in a “Day-Day pretending to be Baby D in Next Friday” voice.

This new electric purple polish from Floss Gloss, Lean, does look like a bad motherfucker though. Purple is my favorite color, so I am HERE FOR IT. I want it bad. Real bad. It looks like it wants me to kick winter in the teeth and welcome spring into my life. Which works for me because while the rest of the country is freezing its balls off, here in CA, it was 80 degrees last week! The trees are blooming, and we totally started fire season already. This sounds pretty ok, but it’s not. It’s bad! It’s kind of sad to see the trees all confused, and we’re in a terrible drought, so we’re pretty much under a statewide “Let it Mellow” order. So, yeah. While it’s not technically spring yet, it might as well be! BRING ON THE SPRING COLORS. HELLO TANK TOPS. Let me make the best of a bad situation. If this drought apocalypse goes down, I want this color on my nails to go with the shaved sides of my very butch, super cool new apocalypse haircut. Everybody gets cool new haircuts when everything falls apart. Like, right now, I don’t have my apocalypse hair because of society, but when society crumbles, it’s on. That’s probably when I adopt the eyepatch I always think about, too. An outfit for every occasion!

Obviously, I’d prefer to have this color now, while society still stands. I want to wear it to a party, not a motorcycle fight, or whatever. Right now, I’m broke, so I need us to hold it together until I can buy this polish for myself. Let it mellow, don’t wash your cars, turn the water off while you brush your teeth, whatever it takes! We can do this together!