Rascal Flatts. I saw them live, along with Toby Keith...ummm...about three years ago. The place: the Skyreach Centre (now Rexall Place) in Edmonton, Alberta.

-Rascal Flatts threw in the name of the town every minute into their songs to get fans to react; that ruined the songs.

-Toby's set wasn't too much better; but where we were sitting (I attended with my then-girlfriend and her best friend) everytime the bass hit, huge strobes went off....and blinded us (we were across the stadium, but more or less on the same level as the stage).

It was a good reminder of why I prefer bar/house bands over overpriced stadium concerts.

If that's the case, the answer for me has to be Girlschool and White Lion opening for Ozzy in, I think, 92. Girlschool was horrible. White Lion was quite a bit better but they got booed off the stage by the Ozzy fans who weren't interested in hearing "When the Children Cry". Even Ozzy was somewhat off and cut his show a bit short. All in all, it was a really bad experience.

Sheriff, opening for the Kinks in 1983 or so. They were so incredibly awful that I watched the trade magazines for them, fearful that they'd attain some success. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they broke up a couple years later, but it turned out to be premature, as their single "When I'm With You" inexplicably became popular a couple years after that. At least they didn't get back together.

Kingdom Come, opening for the Scorpions, at the Bismarck (ND) Civic Center in...oh...1988?

The performance was a disaster. They were completely incapable of playing as a unit. At one point the lead singer announced they were going to "try something new" and played what could only be described as a high-pitched train wreck. I have NO idea what they were trying to play.

The drummer did the cliche tossing of a drumstick in the air...and couldn't catch it. Even better, it hit a floor tom, making a nice loud amplified "thunk".

One of the band members tripped and fell down at some point.

The crowd reacted with what would best be described as stunned silence. Lead singer's response: "You guys are great!" I guess because we didn't kill them or something.

One year I went to Ozzfest and had to suffer through Linkin Park, Papa Roach, Crazy Town, Mudvayne and Slipknot just to see Black Sabbath. I mean, I guess it was worth it, but that was an incredible amount of suck beforehand.

Had to get thru Syd Straw to see Camper Van Beethoven At Bogart's in Cincinnati in 1988 or '89. She did come out with a song I liked later (CBGB's), but man, we couldn't wait for her to get off stage. Peeee-Ewwww!

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975), The Man Upstairs (1914)

Limp Bizkit at Ozzfest 98 here in Akron, right before they got big. I heard the CD and wasn't really optimistic about them in the first place, but they momentarily changed my mind when they make an entrance in this 40 foot toilet bowl. So Fred Durst comes out, does one song, then for the next 20 minutes starts talking shit about all the bands he hates (Marylin Manson, NIN, Slayer) All this to segway to his second and final song, "couterfeit".

For sufferance is the badge of all our tribe.--William Shakespeare (on the Indians)

Teenage Fanclub, opening for Radiohead in 1997. I swear they played the same song for 30 minutes. I've actually heard these guys are pretty good, but man, did they suck it up that night.

On the flip side, congrats to ABC for hiring Tim McGraw to tailor the lyrics to "I like it, I love it" for every halftime highlight show throughout the "Monday Night Football" season. Just last week, my buddy House and I were discussing Cosell's classic highlight narratives in the '70s, and how nobody had approached them since, and I told House, "Only one thing could ever come close, and I know it's a long shot, but what if ABC hired Tim McGraw to tailor the lyrics to 'I Like it, I Love It' for each week of NFL highlights throughout the season?" And wouldn't you know, it happened! See, dreams can come true. --- Bill Simmons, www.sportsguy.net

Sugar Ray. Twice, but at least I only paid for one. First time was free, as a friend had tickets to Goo Goo Dolls, and they were opening, as were Fastball. The other two bands were perfectly adequate, but why Sugar Ray? Couldn't headline a tour with whatever the hell their hit at the time was?

You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"...but that doesn't mean he can't relate an amusing anecdote about the Haiti Kid and one of the Frenchman's testicles." (Hogan's My Dad)

We went to the show to see the opening act--Accept with Udo Dirkschnieder. Dio had 99% of the stage covered with a giant medevial castle set with a 30 foot tall anmiatronic fire breathing dragon, so Accept had to set up on the lip of the stage. They shredded the entire 25 minute set and totally blew Dio off of the stage. Dio had to follow this killer act and just mailed it in.

Neil Young (who I've always liked) and Crazyhorse were pretty bad as well.

(edited by NickBockwinkelFan on 17.10.05 0412)"Well, you can't involve friendship with business. It has to be one or the other. It's either business or friendship, or hit the bricks!"--Life Lessons from Bobby the Brain Heenan WCW Uncensored 2000 preview

Tie between BUFFALO TOM (I think that was there name) who opened for Julianna Hatfield. Simply boring and no effort to make ANYTHING seem like fun.

and,

Van Halen, on the F*U*C*K* tour. It was Sammy's birthday, and everybody was drunk, they played for MAYBE 80 minutes and left the stage, no encore, nothing. TOTAL waste of time and money. I havent bought a single VAN HALEN related item since.

A band called The Unband opened for Def Leppard a few years ago and were awful. They started taunting the audience, saying if we were't digging their stuff, DL wouldn't come out. Boy howdy, did that make us love them all the more. And who books a punk act to play before DEF LEPPARD?!

Stone Temple Pilots back during their tour with the Chile Peppers. I liked the instrumentals from the band, but Scott Weiland's vocals were just horrible. Not to mention that when he wasn't standing in all kinds of ridiculous poses, he was staggering around the stage like he had just been shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.

However, RHCP put on a show that more than made up for Weiland's crap.