My mom lives with me. Drives a car, has her own finances and independence. Is constantly getting lost and overdrawing her account. But is absolutely unwilling to accept me controlling her spending or independence. She makes up lies and is completely in denial. I give her money and spend lots of time fixing all of the issues she creates. She won’t listen to me! Who can exert influence on her to allow me to control her finances and keep her from getting herself into trouble. I know she won’t stop driving until someone takes her license. But all of it is feeling like too much!! Her neurologist wouldn’t say she has Alzheimer’s but I see her craziness everyday! This middle stage is maddening!

1 Answer

Get a referral to a Geriatric Psychiatrist and tell Mom she has to go to keep her insurance. She needs to be formally diagnosed. If you don’t have POA, get it before she’s diagnosed so they can’t say she wasn’t competent to sign.

Next, ask her doctor to write a letter to the BMV that she is not competent to drive. If she's getting lost, she is probably having near-misses as well, and some day it won’t be a miss. Imagine how you would feel if she injured someone, or worse. Remove her car from your premises so it’s not a temptation. Then, make sure she has alternate transportation. Uber, Lyft, yourself or another friend or family member to take her out and about.

If she lives with you, she should have no bills,right? If she’s spending her money on foolish things, you will have to find a way to handle her money and give her an allowance.

Time has has come for you to put your foot down. Your home, your rules. If she doesn’t like it, there are always alternatives.

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