Monthly Archives: November 2013

I am in the flow for sure, but what if your flow is a whirlpool spinning you madly as you head towards the rapids with you know not what waiting, maybe a drop into a waterfall. That might be an amazing experience as you fall through, drops of water sparkling with the sunshine beaming through and rainbows glittering, a safe landing into the next pool of life is an exciting journey. Stay in your heart and trust is an important key, one thing at a time even if you have a lot of things to accomplish in a day.

Let there be stillness even in a busy day, find it in yourself if it isn’t in the environment around you and you are unable to make a change. Connect to nature even if it is simply a piece of wood, a flower or perhaps the leaf of a potted plant, if you can get your bare feet in the earth even better. That stillness is always within your being, let the mind relax and beyond the chatter is a great still pool that is never really disturbed, we sometimes lose our connection with it and from this stems a tide of people who feel unfulfilled. Somewhere in their sleeping is the knowledge that there is more at greater depth, but their fear holds them back, they pretend to know but it is naught but a pretty facade once one has seen through it.

How would it be to remain without tuning in to that deeper place that our feelings can take us to, if we have the courage to sit with them no matter what they might be. Anger, fear, jealousy and resentment, grief and loss……….who wants to sit with that! But if you do you will begin to go deeper than ever you knew was possible, moving the veil aside so that all potential is revealed, the quantum soup, zero point field. You don’t have to dive in as deeply as I did into a Dark Night of the Soul that felt at times like the very pits of Hades, not fun but ultimately enlightening!

When you have shared time with another soul in those incandescent places where hearts are open and you are honestly questing for more and more life, there is a deeper connection that doesn’t even really need words. To be in a community much like that, well you know I actually live somewhere a bit like that, life here is a blessing in the vibrant and creative life bursting from all sides.

Thank you Mother Earth for your bounty, Father Sky for the sunshine and the air, thank you life, ohm shanti, shanti, shanti……………………

Fluttering, delicate wings churning my belly into a tightness that coils into itself, as excitement and anticipation coupled with fear, turn into an anxious dread. Knowing that its opposite is simply a thought away, I breathe into that turbulent swirl that turns and turns, creating a vortex of energy that can take me into even greater fear………..or ecstasy. Air, the stuff of life, pours into my waiting lungs, and directed into the pit of doom it carries me deeper and deeper, as I surrender to the downward spiral, making friends with the darkness, letting go into night.

The relief as I fall into the space of the underworld, that hell on earth that we make for ourselves when the monsters of the depths go unrecognised and unacknowledged, luminescent light becomes possible, as we find eyes that will gaze upon the face, that will take us into a fuller knowledge of the soul beneath the mask. I take my courage in both hands, and I descend like all the mythic characters that have gone before me, to meet the ruler of the shadow, the opposite of light.

Meeting each challenge with an open heart, my mind a sword that cleaves through old patterns, my feelings showing the way into balance, I battle the three-headed dog and gain entrance to the center of all that hides from sight. A figure stands before me but I cannot see its face, my shaking hands tear the veil and my eyes are open wide with fright, terror coursing through my veins I look upon the greatest monster of all, ’tis myself.

In that moment consciousness opens into laughter and the absurd nature of life becomes a juice to sweeten the sadness and the grief, the struggle and the pain. If I made all of this then I can unmake it if I choose, no longer a pawn in the world I can wake up if I want to………..or not. The old nightmare is over and I face my demons with a song on my lips and feet that move in a spiral dance that feeds the flow of energy, connected to all things.

I AM the light, I AM the dark, I AM everything and I AM nothing……..I AM THAT I AM and that is all.

I sometimes forget these days that a very large proportion of the world’s population does not drink anything like enough water, in third world countries it’s because they don’t have access, in the west everyone is downing soft drinks and coffees. I too was once one of those people, I knew that it was important to increase my water intake, but somehow it always seemed too hard to manage, I would remember at the end of the day, drink a few big glasses of water and then have trouble sleeping as I kept getting up for the toilet!

Then I picked up a book at a tea house where I was working, I flipped through it and was riveted by what I was reading, I never actually read the whole book through but what I did take in was enough to motivate me to finally create the habit of drinking sufficient water. The book was called “The Body’s Many Cries For Water” by Dr F. Batmanghelidj, I sure as hell can’t pronounce his name, but this Iranian doctor changed my relationship to water for ever. I learned that what I thought was hunger was much more likely my body’s request for hydration.

He discovered this truth in what might seem an unlikely environment, he was in a prison and expected to treat his patients with no medical resources, so he turned to the only resource he could offer, water. To his great surprise the water proved to be effective with many of the illnesses suffered by his fellow prisoners, since that time it has helped people with a wide variety of diseases, asthma, MS, auto immune disorders, cancers, crohns disease, to name but a few. The water-cure is eight glasses of water a day and half a teaspoon of sea salt, it’s important to have the correct balance between water and salt in the body, it also needs to be the right kind of salt, sea or rock salt has something like 84 trace elements and is known to reduce blood pressure.

So if you haven’t caught the habit yet perhaps you too can be inspired by this doctor, and all those who have come after him, there are many stories about lives being saved by the water-cure. There are a couple of websites you can check out: http://www.watercure2.org and http://www.watercure.com, and below you will find a couple of videos, one about the water-cure,and another that shows you how to make a homemade emergency water filtration device using natural ingredients. Might not just be for emergencies considering that the water that comes out of our taps is generally poisoned by fluoride and God knows what else!

Actually this is a good reminder for me, as is often the case when I do research for a post, I drink plenty of water but probably don’t have that much salt every day. What I do have is yummy and good for me, Himalayan Pink Rock Salt, I can highly recommend it, might start having that half a teaspoon every day!

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is the power of language, and how our use of particular words or phrases can say a lot about the way in which we view our world, indeed many would say that our words create our reality. So if you are constantly saying, “I can’t afford it”, then you are telling yourself that there is never enough and that you can’t have all the things that you want or need in your life, whether we are talking about luxuries or necessities the message is the same.

That is a relatively straight forward idea, but where I have always had difficulty is in finding alternative ways of describing my situation, before you can change yourself there has to be acceptance of what is, and so talking about the Rolls Royce you are going to buy when your budget doesn’t extend to even a second-hand bomb seems a bit airy fairy. So you could say, as an alternative, “That isn’t currently in my budget”, which implies that when the time is right that it will be, it still doesn’t feel quite honest to me which probably says a lot about the strength of my beliefs around not being supported!

So I’m going to give this a committed focus and see what happens, I’m meditating every day and going into my temple to heal myself and to create the amazing new life that is trembling upon the brink of my old reality. As a prelude to the meditation I’m using EFT to clear the resistance and in that process I am very much accepting and loving myself exactly as I am, so I think I’m doing ok with the accept things the way that they are bit. The next step is to bring extreme mindfulness into my daily interactions as well as watching my self-talk for signs of the old belief patterns that are on the way out.

The new reality that is emerging is getting stronger and stronger inside of me, by behaving according to that picture I will strengthen the images I am giving to my brain about the way things are in my world. And it’s very important not to give too much focus to anything that doesn’t support this vision, even as I deal sensibly with my current reality in each and every moment. It’s a balancing act that will be a most interesting challenge, and I look forward to telling you all about the stunning results that will come flooding in as I change my world forever!

Life isgood, of that I have not the slightest doubt, in the very heart and soul of my being I knowthat the corner has been turned, that I am on the homeward lap and it isn’t actually possible to stray off the path, for where else could I possibly be! Yet my day has been a journey through many different emotional landscapes, when you are challenging the very bedrock of your foundations there tends to be a response from the aspects of self that are terrified of dying.

The kind of environment you inhabit is very important at times like this, I connect as much as I can with others who have a positive outlook on life, and who I can truly be myself with. But that isn’t always possible, and I was reminded today in a meditation by my higher self that it is common sense to put in energetic protection in order to not be taking on other people’s stuff. Nellie Nobody is very keen to take on the slightest possible suggestion that another might not approve of the measures I am taking to change my life, and so brings up whatever insecurities that may still be lurking inside.

And I bless her for her anxiety, she is helping me to shed anything that might get in the way of my personal golden age unfolding with grand fanfare and ecstatic celebration. When that job is over for her she can be in charge of making sure I never lose my humility, I have encountered very few people who I would truly consider to be masters, but the one thing they have all had in common was the ability to be completely ordinary.

So don’t be too hard on the parts of you that are trying to hold you back from being fully in your power, its more about redirecting their gifts rather than shutting them down. When I can be consistent in my focused intention of creating my new life, Fay Fairytale’s wondrous imagination is probably my greatest ally, if she’s wasting time on unproductive fantasies I have only myself to blame!

It’s from Gabrielle Roth the incredible dance shaman that I have borrowed these particular terms for the different parts of myself, I have a feeling that I’ve shared this quote with you before but it sums up the theme of this post so nicely I’m going to share it again:

“Life is sacred. Life is art. Life is sacred art. The art of sacred living means being a holy actor, acting from the soul rather than the ego. The soul is out of space and time and hence always available, an ever-present potential of our being. It is up to each of us to celebrate and to actualize our being and to turn each meal, conversation, outfit, letter, and so on, into art. Every mundane activity is an opportunity for full authentic self-expression. The soul is our artistic self, our capacity for transforming every dimension of our lives into art and theater.”

Maps to Ecstasy, Gabrielle Roth, Nataraj Publ, Novato, CA, 1989.

So lets hear it for the ordinary and the everyday, may we swoon over the dishes and make love to the earth as we pull up the weeds!

Here is a very famous death scene from Monty Pythons’s Meaning of Life, enjoy!

Shifting from fear to wonder and riding the storm, short, sharp and intense, but no longer ushering in a dark sky that is wont to bring the clouds that prevent me from seeing my own bright light. The sense of doom sitting in the pit of my belly a relic of the past that I leave further behind with every breath, trusting that every step that I take is an integral part of the picture that I am painting in inner realms.

Trust, trust…………surrender to what is and move with my own precious flow, plucking the jewels that lie along the way, glittering like stars and offering me such a rich array of bounty. Within the deepest parts of self the sands are shifting, uncertain footing giving the illusion of shaky ground, a sense of falling……………turns to freedom and wings taking flight.

Letting go into the unknown as the heart’s wisdom opens door after door, fractal beauty speaks to my DNA and I AM so excited as creativity unfolds with each release of the force of life. Less and less do I resist, the creeping mist, burns off with morning’s rays, shining like the gleaming gold of treasure buried, of dragon’s hoard.

The powerful energies of transformation have been hard at work and I for one am feeling the benefits of staying focused on creating change in my life, at the same time that I am taking good care of myself. Having said that I do still have a cold in my system that has been hanging around for over three weeks now, and I have taken herbal tonics, lots of lime juice, and slowed down considerably. It might be tempting to ask myself what I’m doing wrong but that would be counter productive, as well as the care I have taken in the outer world I am doing lots of healing in my inner realms, in my temple.

The Inner Neural Workout!

I mean, what more can a girl do I ask myself, simple answer really, just keep doing what you are doing and don’t give up! I believe the cold is a sign that the detox on all levels of my being is continuing and that the work I’m doing is paying off, this is where being bloody minded can come in handy to marshal my persistence to new levels of determination. I am meditating every day and going into my temple to heal myself, there are a few things I am working on and some I will keep to myself for now, but rest assured I am including my immune system in this process.

Life is still very busy but I am coping with it now and can truly enjoy all the fun aspects, which is pretty much all of it, flamenco, choir, my work as a crisis counsellor and as a psychic, my writing for this blog. I’m back in the space of inspiration and joy with it all. So the theme of balance that came in with the New Moon in Libra feels complete now, and the focus is on Scorpio’s influence of deep transformation, letting go of the resistance that has played the saboteur in the past. Hence the body’s method of shedding through bodily fluids, even as I cough and blow my nose (only very occasionally), I am feeling uplifted and have a sense of deep peace in my body.

Doing a house sit in a place that doesn’t have the usual right angles everywhere and expansive views of the green rolling hills as I sit out on the balcony, is also a big contributing factor to this peaceful feeling. If you are ever in a place that isn’t the usual modern architecture, you know, high ceilings, rounded shapes and sloping angles, notice how this makes you feel in your body. I have a feeling of nourishment and joy that comes from this difference in the space that brings a softness to my heart that is quite delicious.

But wherever you may be, tune into the environment and find some kind of joy in it, even if that seems like a huge challenge, there is always a choice and why not make it a positive one! It’s a bit like the state of consciousness that the American Indians call ‘Beauty’s Way’, where even a rubbish dump seems vividly beautiful…………….the sacred is everywhere…………Ho!