Come join the slowest-growing religion in the world. An ancient philosophy that preaches non-preachiness, practices as little as possible, and above all, uh…lost my train of thought there. Anyway, if you’d like to find peace on earth and goodwill, man, we’ll help you get started. Right after a little nap.

Some of you (hopefully not the editors) may have asked yourselves by now, ‘Why is this regular column on ‘Dudeism’ printed in this newspaper?’ The fact that you’re probably wondering this while hanging out in a hammock, sipping a banana shake while listening to mellow Jack Johnson tunes might supply a clue. Also, you’re probably wearing flip flops.