I have a friend who has been divorced with his wife for almost a year now and he has 3 children with her. She has custody but he has visitation rights and weekends/holidays. He tells me this isn't enough and feels like he is loosing his children, slowly. It breaks my heart when he tells me of this as I can not really relate and am not sure what to tell him. I want to console him or give him options but my mind draws a blank with this topic!

Cathleen,
This is a tough situation. Unfortunately, there are great consequences to divorce, even if it was not your friend's fault. At this point he will need to make special effort to purposely invest his time and efforts into his children. He can set up ways of communicating. Some Dads provide older children with cell phones and text them daily. Some keep schedules and show up for games and events. Taking pictures, etc. at these events help them to be "fresh" when the child visits. It also spurs discussion that would typically be done when arriving home from the event.

He will also need to find out interests, etc. and try to connect by developing those interests in his children. (He needs to make sure he is not trying to "win" them over and that his motivation is not to be "better" than the mom. While this may win him points in the short term, sooner or later kids will be bitter at the parent that put in effort for selfish reasons.)

But honestly, he will have to work hard due to the realities of divorce.

Time with there kids for a divorced parent is much more precious. It goes to show the age old saying you don't know what u lost, till you lost it very true. I make a effort to take my kids to school and pick them up again. Even if it is just a hour spend in the car daily you stay connected. There must be a routine were kids feel that true interest is shown in them. Honestly I spend more quality time with my kids now than before the seperation. There is a need to be filled on both sides.

I don't have any scripture, but there is some good common sense advice that may escape your friend during this tough time of divorce. Don't listen to what anyone tells you (or your friend), divorced parents can stay connected with their kids! I would let you friend know that it is important for the kids to know that the divorce is not their fault and to ensure that lines of communication stay open. These days with text messages and Facebook it shouldn't be too hard to be able to talk to your kids. I guess the most important thing would be (besides communication which is essential) not to break any promises to your kids. The products of a divorce already have a broken world to live in, theres no need to make promises that can't be fulfilled.