Bigger, Bluer, Messier

The “F” Word

My walking shorts took a dive this weekend just a couple of days before I was supposed to take them out for a good walk around the lake. That would be fine IF I could easily replace them, but you see I have a healthy sized tush so I need to find a healthy sized pair of shorts. As I was lurking around Sears with the over 100 set it just hit me – I hate the clothing industry and our society in general when it comes to large people.

You see it in all the magazines and on all the TV talk shows – society as a whole lamenting the fact that America has become lazy and tubby. Tyra Banks dons a fat suit and tells us how she knows what it is that fat people go through; she feels their pain. I’m sure within a few hours she shed the suit for some Versace and nibbled on a piece of lettuce to feel better. Doctors and thin America tell you that you need to cut out carbs, eat cabbage, try South Beach but most of all, you need to exercise. Ok, I’d love to exercise now give me acceptable clothes to do it in. I’d prefer something I don’t need to order online from Danskin. See, of all the crazy things I’d like to go out today or tomorrow not after a week plus when the short shipment finally meanders to my door. It’s truly a double-standard. You’re told to exercise but you can’t get the clothes to do it in. Yes, big people need exercise clothes, too and considering that large people are now the majority of America, then we need those clothes in the major department stores.

This brings up another pet peeve of mine – clothes for the heavy set. As I was poking around in the plus section admiring the lovely array of muumuus and assortment of other hideous things cut out of polyester and lycra, I wondered “when exactly did the clothing industry think I went blind and develop bad taste?” It’s not just Sears, it’s everywhere. You walk into any plus size area of a store and you’re immediately struck by the most tacky things in the worst feeling fabrics around. I didn’t cross the plus line and think, “oh hey, cotton really was the pits, I’d like something stretchy to go over all the new bumps and bulges so that they really shine. Heck if a target could be placed on the outfit to really highlight my bottom, then that would be fantastic; it would make that outfit that much more special to me.” The only thing I can think is that this is the clothing industry’s way of punishing you for being large. You’ve gotten heavier so now instead of a big letter “F” for fat to wear on your clothes, we’ll mark you with dreadful choices that draw attention your size and mock it. Sweat on fat girl in the latest in polyester – hope you’re enjoying the “retro” print and chintzy buttons.

I always joke about writing the Gap and suggesting they create a line called “Big Girl Gap” so you can enjoy the same clothes and fabrics (COTTON) as other people. I’m sure it’d be a big hit.

Anyway, I just want to apologize to small America for not weighing 128 pounds any more, for not maintaining my 24” waistline. I’m sorry that I’m an eyesore on your idyllic community to the point you’d rather have me stay indoors than exercise in appropriate clothes that fit, but while you’re bemoaning all the fat people who need to get out and do more just like perky, spunky, little you remember we need an avenue to do it and that would start with exercise clothes that are readily available.