U.S. Navy unveils its ‘great green fleet’ with some red-white-and-blue machismo

What do you get when you mix animal fat, algae, and 10,000 pounds of steel? The least-popular Navy Blackhawk on Capitol Hill.

Yesterday, during its regular “Rim of the Pacific” exercise, the U.S. Navy showed off its “great green fleet,” a number of ships and aircraft running solely on biofuel. As we discussed last week, a lot of Republicans haaaaaaaate the idea: ostensibly because biofuel costs more than oil, but really because anything that could possibly reduce the use of oil is a cardinal sin.

What do you say to that, Navy Secretary Ray Mabus?

As a Navy jet screamed by the Nimitz, Mabus stopped his speech and said, “You just heard biofuel.”

You just heard biofuel, suckers! There’s something tremendously amusing about the combination of Top Gun-style machismo and sensible environmental considerations. Picture a bulky, muscular Rambo-type, holding massive weapons in each hand, snarling into the camera: “Time to take out the compost.”

Presenting: a gallery of innocuous photos from the “great green fleet” exercise with awesome, tough-guy captions.

“You talkin’ to me, Mabus? Oh, you are? Yes, that’s the biofuel processing center.”“See? What do I see? I see, uh, some particulates? Should those be in there?”“Give me a second while I transfer this biofuel into a can of whup-ass. Okay. Done.”“Where is your God now? I should clarify: I call petroleum-based fuels ‘God’ for some reason.”

(Might want to take a second to let your adrenaline levels go back down.)

The Senate is currently debating a measure that would kill the green fleet, preventing the Navy from buying fuels that are more expensive than conventional fuels. One of the leads in the fight is Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.), since he literally runs on oil. Senators opposing the measure include Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), whose corn-producing state is more hospitable to the idea. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) wants to ban the fuels, arguing that he “just [does] not believe that we need to spend that kind of money on it.” If it’s any consolation, senator, defense firms are totally fine with raising taxes so that we can give them more money.