Olive Under Grace

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Life is just too busy for me to add blogging in so I did it again, I din't even stop by here for two months. Now that is no way to run a blog. I haven't even been reading some of my favorite blogs like sweet Abby and Rocks in my Dryer (ok, I read it this week b/c of LOST) AND I haven't even had time to POST here about LOST at all this season. Crazy busy my life is, I tell ya!

Also, I wanted to keep my name private on here, but assuming another moniker never fit me and I always felt like I was trying a dress that was too big, hoping it would shrink and eventually feel comfortable. It never has.

In a little over a month I'll have my "blogiversary" but I didn't even post 50 times in that year, so I will start a new blog soon, put up a link here, and something I intend to keep up with. It'll be different, because I think mostly it'll host my thirifting treasures (and my Pyrex OBSESSION) and I'll chat once in a while on it. Pyrex I know will keep me coming back to blog. :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

WOW! It's been two months since I've posted! Over two months, in fact. One of my "New Year's resolutions" is to blog more. Despite my general dislike for "New Year's resolutions", I made a few anyway this year. I've got a few others, but I'll save that for another post.

Sorry for the disappearing act, anyone who reads this, but the last few months have been SO insanely busy I've hardly seen the light of day. To begin with, Praise God, I found a full-time job! I'm thrilled. The company I was working with part-time got itchy in mid-September about me leaving and did a lot of keep me full-time. And, while not much of a pay bump (oh the non-profit pains- just kidding) it is more responsibility and more of a challenge. I'm doing something now that I NEVER would have thought I'd ever do. I'm the writer (mostly marketing writing) as well as the marketing project manager. It's hard sometimes, but like I said, fun and challenging. Also, it's very very busy.

Part B of why I've disappeared is because this Christmas marked 2 years since my dad died. Well, actually he died on the 27th, but Christmas is just hard still, and maybe always will be in some senses. And, as a result of it being hard, I unknowingly tend to "go dark" around this time of year. Where most people are going out, having parties with old friends, I just want this time of year to pass quietly.

So, I'm back. It's a new year and the "yuckiness" is over, it's time to blog again!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I am by no means an animal lover. I pretty much think all animals are just dirty. And they lick you, and get hair on you, and track dirt all over. It's gross. I dislike cats most of all. They REALLY rub up on you. Also, I'm allergic to cats. My dislike of animals runs so deep that I rarely even think "cute animal videos" are cute. I usually find them obnoxious.

My sister, on the other hand, couldn't love animals more. She is a fanatic to the nth degree. She will someday be in a career involving animals, though I don't know what she'll do in that regard yet. She's terribly appalled at my dislike of the animal kingdom and even questions if I hate animals. For the record, I don't. I do not wish bad things upon animals. I do not hate animals. I do not want animals to disappear from the earth entirely. I just don't want to have any pets. Nor do I want to be forced to think they are cute. I think may other things are cute. Like babies.

But.

Then I met Meerkat Manor. I was hooked instantly. I haven't missed an episode. I loved the story of this family struggling to survive in the Kalahari Dessert. There were times I cried, like when Shakespeare died. There were times I held my breath, like when Flower evicted her daughter Mozart. There were times I cheered, like when Mozart found her own tribe to breed within and survive. There were times I shuddered, like every time I saw scary one-eyed Hannibal.

Then, there was Flower. I had a love/hate relationship with her. She was harsh. She cast out her daughters if they got pregnant, so that she could remain the dominant female and retain breeding rights. She led her family with the cunning art that's needed in such a harsh environment. And she loved on her new pups with each new litter. Sometimes she had grace and forgiveness in her, sometimes revenge and brutality. Throughout it all, she was a brave leader for her family.

This week I sat and wept as she bravely defended her newborn pups as any mother would. She met her match in a cobra who showed no mercy. From a person who really wouldn't call herself an "animal person", I have fallen in love with these meerkats, and will sorely miss Flower. The Manor won't be the same; and neither will this "non-animal person".

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Another area that God has been working in my life is my thought process towards dating and marriage. I randomly picked up a book at Northwestern Bookstores called Press Play. It's good, and an quick read, but what hooked me was the first chapter.

It's one of those things that's like a page out of my life. As she's recalling her dad's death (I know I talk about this a lot, and I truly don't mean to, but bear with me here for a minute) I was remind of my dad's death. I've had a hard time since then even being open to dating and she hit the reason dead on. It's a simple little promise she made after his death:

"Never again will I let anyone so deep into my heart that they can hurt me this badly when they leave."

Ouch. That hurt. I've made that promise secretly too. I don't want to let my dad's death hinder the way I relate to people. I don't want his death to stunt me emotionally. It's a hard thing to admit, but I'm asking God to break that thought process and (in a non-"new age-y" way) allow me to be "open" to the things He has in store for me and not be afraid of them.

This secret promise has been on my heart even though I didn't really know it, and it hurts to see it in print, but after a good cry and with God's help I'm being led out of it.

Man, God is sure doing something in me. Not sure exactly what that something is but I'm, for one of the first times in my life, actually enjoying this waiting time and being patient. I know it's only been a week, but it's still exciting. Usually patience for me is something I have to fight at to get and something I need to constantly remind myself to ask for. It's easier for me to worry, and I can easliy give in to it. But, this last week, I haven't worried and I have been blessed with patience. Ok, now that I wrote that, it sounds strange and gloaty (is that a word?) but I don't mean it that way. I feel that for the almost two years since my dad's death I have begged for patience regarding my place in life. While tomorrow I may get impatient again, today (and the last week) I have not been, and for that I am grateful to my God. He is so good!

Last Wednesay, (two days after my interview) I felt like God was calling me out of hoping for that job. And, lo and behold, I was pleased as punch to follow is His leading and stopped thinking about the job. I almost even forgot about the position until they called yesterday to tell me they were "pursuing someone else, but it was close and I am next on the list". Heh. First- next on the list??? Do you really want to tell people that? What if you have to move to that next person? Do you want them to know that they were your second choice? Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was funny. Second- I let him know that God was calling me into something different and I was glad they were pursuing someone else, but "thank you for taking the time to meet with me". He almost seemed a bit shocked that I said that, but oh well. I'm at peace with the situation. I still want a new job, but I am happy to wait for just the right thing.

I've also had a good friend speak into my life and tell me things she thinks I should be doing and things I shouldn't even apply for because she knows me and knows I'd ultimatley hate it and that wouldn't be Glorifying to God. I'm praying about the things she's asked me to consider (more working with students in a more concentrated, even in a pastoral way- yikes!). It's scary, but I want to listen to the Lord and wait on His timing. I know the things I like to do (wedding/event planning) but is that what He wants me to do? Is that how I can best honor Him with my life? In what way can I serve Him better? In what way can I bring Glory and Honor to the Almighty? In what capacity will I point people to Jesus? Many of these things are just things that I'm searching out in my "non-work life", but I want to have a ministry in my "work life" as I think all Believers are called into ministry no matter where they are. Yes, as long as I'm walking with Him and following His leading I'm honoring Him with my life, but of course I want that to translate into my "work life" as well. Does that make sense? It totally did in my head. ;)

So, I wait. I know it'll happen when He's ready for me to move on to a new job and out of this "transition phase" and in the meantime, I'm loving this sweet time with God.