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You know who I still strongly dislike? Bitches. And not bitches as in my bitches, as in my girls, as in my female friends. Bitches as in 99 problems but a bitch IS one. As in stuck up bitches who continuously talk crap and think they’re better than everyone despite being given multiple chances to stop being a bitch. You remember the bitch from my first blog about bitches? Well, the same bitch strikes again, months later, because she can’t get over my Beyonce girl power. Rather than own up to her own actions, she turns shit around and plays the victim. Bitches are manipulative and know how to play the victim and relish in the attention. So here’s what happened:

My friend was having a July 4th cookout and my boyfriend and I got the invite. We bailed on other plans to attend this cookout. The bitch’s boyfriend lives with my friend where said cookout was taking place. The bitch isn’t friends with my friends, and really only was going to attend the cookout due to the fact that her boyfriend lives with my friend and she loves sitting there observing/judging us while she sips Stop & Shop Riesling. So because the bitch wanted to hangout with people who weren’t her friends and hang off her boyfriend’s balls for the day like a dingleberry, I was informed that due to the bitch’s presence, I wouldn’t be able to attend the cookout. She didn’t want to feel uncomfortable around probably the friendliest fucking person in the USA, yours truly, on the 4th of July while I was sporting party beads. Well, that’s her loss and the cookout go-er’s loss because I’m the only one with game Taboo, so ha! Looks like they couldn’t play my fun for the whole family game.

But anyways, this bitch ass ruined my plans by playing the victim (her special), then of course lying about it by telling me that she “has no problem being in the same room as me” and that I “perpetuated the problem”. First of all, don’t use that language with me….perpetuated. Shut up! YOU started this shit by being a bitch when I was nice to you and invited you to my gosh darn parties! If she had “no problem” then okay, why was I suddenly uninvited to a cookout when my friend’s roommate found out I would be in attendance? Does this bitch pay rent? Are her and her boyfriend pissed about the hotdog comments from my last blog? Don’t know. Look girl, sorry that I blew up your spot by putting an obscure reference to you in my silly little blog. But you talked shit and talked shit and talked shit and for once I stopped biting my tongue and I defended myself and my friends. And for what?! To be exiled to the Beachcomber to watch the fireworks from the patio of an un-airconditioned saloon. After all the cookouts I’ve thrown for everybody and their mothers. After every Bubba burger I’ve grilled. After all the potato salad I brought to everyone else’s cookouts. That is how Because Molly Said So was repaid! Left in the Wollaston beach dust when all my friends were invited to the party. Luckily, a few of my friends bailed on the cookout in protest of this bitch and her bullshit.You see, she thinks that my friends are not up to the standards of her friends, who like to play make believe that they are classy. But in reality, her friends finish their glasses of wine, roll their eyes at my friends who aren’t as subtle with their drunken behavior, and whisper like they aren’t talking crap, and then by glass 2 start dry humping a random Quincy boy on the living room couch in the middle of the party. Well, their condescending tone might be lost on my shitfaced friend who wasn’t even coordinated enough to deal out the cards in a game of Asshole, but it wasn’t lost on me.

So to this bitch who told people she didn’t want me to know she read my blog enough to catch the obscure reference because she didn’t want to give me the satisfaction (Ahhh! The sweet smell of satisfaction and maturity on both ends of this feud!), and then got me uninvited to my friend’s cookout because she cried about it to her boyfriend: You might have won the 4th of July battle. But you didn’t win the war. Because I can be a bitch, too. I just don’t pretend to be a mature one. I say “You started it!”, whereas you say “You have perpetuated this quarrel!”. I’m literally so immature during arguments that I’ve actually rap battled to determine the winner of a serious fight. So that’s what you’re up against. Na-na-na-na-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo! Bitch.

And for girls everywhere dealing with any kind of a bitch: They may get us uninvited to a cookout, but they can never take our FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!