It's a difficult world out there, people. War, poverty, brutality, corruption, social and racial injustice … these are not civil times we live in. Which is why, more than ever, we NEED the comfort and warmth that only life inside the Williams-Sonoma catalog can provide. Follow me, America. Follow me inside these…»12/09/14 12:31pm 12/09/14 12:31pm

I have an 8-year-old who has something of an overactive imagination, which is a good thing for a child to have, in theory. There are entire 10,000-word think pieces and scientific studies now about how all playgrounds should be replaced with an open field and a giant barrel of sticks so that kids can go construct…»11/28/14 1:29pm 11/28/14 1:29pm

My plan was to fart. I ate a shitload of Chinese for lunch and five slices of pizza for dinner (CRUSHED those slices), and so I figured that if I farted long and hard enough, I would inflict damage upon my co-workers, regardless of my actual marksmanship. SHUT UP AND FART SMOG SOMEONE. That was my laser tag strategy. »6/04/14 2:42pm 6/04/14 2:42pm

In the video above, you see shape-shifting coyote trickster god Bill Murray walking in on a bachelor party in Charleston, dishing out some advice to everyone EXCEPT the groom. Here's reader Stephen with the background: »5/27/14 10:24am 5/27/14 10:24am

This is all about sucking, so I'll begin with me, in a parking lot, parked too close to the adjacent car. I open my car door and inadvertently hit the other dude's door. I pray that I haven't left a scratch, or a dent, or something substantial that would require insurance-card swapping and 10 minutes on the phone… »5/18/14 5:51pm 5/18/14 5:51pm

Tucked inside the Hunger Games promotional pamphlet that was last week's issue of Entertainment Weekly was a rather amazing book excerpt from Henry Bushkin, lawyer to the late Johnny Carson. In the excerpt (not yet online), Bushkin describes accompanying Carson on a late night break-in of his second wife's… »10/07/13 3:45pm 10/07/13 3:45pm

A while back, a reader sent me a page from the US Airman's Manual that included the above instructions for pushing someone's intestines back into their abdomen. Time to explore this manual a little deeper. »9/16/10 7:12pm 9/16/10 7:12pm