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Do you ever have sex with close friends?

My best friend and I occasionally have sex. Maybe two or three times a year.

I don't think it's good for our friendship and I always feel bad about it after. We try to avoid it but it seems like it's just always a matter of time until we slip up. I guess it's difficult to never do it again once you have crossed that line.

I was wondering if this is common for gay guys? I've never heard about it happening with any other gay guys I know but on the other hand I'm guessing it's something people avoid talking about.

I'm talking about a real close friend not guys you hang out with or fuck buddies.

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

I guess the question is whether there are any deeper feelings involved on either person's part.

If so, you are likely going to hurt your friendship. If it is just that you can have fun together and are comfortable with each other sexually without other feelings of attachment or jealousy...then it is just recreational.

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

Well probably because there is always the possibility of one person developing feelings which can damage or ruin the friendship.

I wouldn't say that's the case but it's still a strange feeling. I'm having sex with a person I love very much so it always touches me more than a one night stand would. It can fuck up my feelings temporarily. I wouldn't say I'm in love though.

Also you might get jealous when the other person goes steady with someone and suddenly you can't have sex anymore.

Maybe the feelings are exaggerated because he's the only person I care for who I have sex with (I've never been in a relationship before).

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

Originally Posted by Geiri85

My best friend and I occasionally have sex. Maybe two or three times a year.

I don't think it's good for our friendship and I always feel bad about it after. We try to avoid it but it seems like it's just always a matter of time until we slip up. I guess it's difficult to never do it again once you have crossed that line.

I was wondering if this is common for gay guys? I've never heard about it happening with any other gay guys I know but on the other hand I'm guessing it's something people avoid talking about.

I'm talking about a real close friend not guys you hang out with or fuck buddies.

Please share

I question why you would need to do that. Not saying it's wrong or anything but what about a regular fb or whatever. You live in a good sized city and there always tourists too if it comes to that.
But you may be weakening the friendship by crossing that line and as you say it doesn't feel quite right afterwards. It's a mixed result at best....

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

never. MOst of my friends are gay males but I find virtually none of them attractive. and the ones I may have found attractive in general lose their physical attractiveness as soon as we become friends. it's better that way - less drama, simple, easy.

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

Yes, I've had sex with close friends, Guys and Girls. And, it didn't have to MEAN anything more than having some FUN! Then again, my teens, and twenties, perfectly coincided with the 60s and 70s. "Free Love", "Flower Power", and all that other "Hippie" stuff!

I've never quite understood how having sex with someone you Love, but aren't In Love with, is generally viewed as a "bad" or "dangerous" thing to do! In my experiences, it's only proved to bring us closer by blasting through ALL possible barriers between us.

And, since they are/were such close friends already, and we got to intimately Know each other, when they did fall In Love with someone else, I was able to support them even more, in their new relationship, because I knew them SO well!

Not only do they know Everything about me, and I them, we also KNOW that we can Trust, and Respect, each other to the Ultimate!

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it!_Me

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

I don't find the idea gross or weird or anything. But it just never occurred to me. Considering it now, would I? Probably not. If I found them really appealing at that time, and was really horny, and really convinced that the friendship wouldn't suffer, I guess I might give it a whirl. But right now, it still doesn't seem that interesting a prospect to me.

I never bought into the generally taught/held concepts, at least here in the U.S., that Nudity equaled Sex, nor that Sex precluded a sense of "Obligation", or "Ownership".

I did not Actively pursue my Friends, butt if the circumstances provided a possible 'opportunity', I didn't 'automatically' rule out Anything, either!

Of course, just like everyone else my age, in my Younger years, I was fascinated by, and extremely curious about, SEX! I studied, and researched, quite a bit about it, and ALL of it's possible permutations (not All of which I found appealing). And, I didn't hesitate when consenting, mutually interesting, situations became evidently 'executable'!

Did it 'change' those Friendships? Yes! It did! In most cases it brought us Closer! Even when doubts, and possible regrets resulted, I was still able to talk to my Friends, and lessen their concerns. It was all about mutual Respect and Trust! I can't recall loosing a single Friend after we'd opened up, and literally exposed our True selves to each other.

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it!_Me

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

Like I already said I know it's not the best idea but it just seems easy to do it again once you have crossed that line... it's like now there is no line to cross because we already have. It's been happening for years though and our friendship is just as strong. The negative feelings are just temporary, a feeling of awkwardness and guilt. Although we are both very attracted to each other physically we both realize that we are not a good match for a relationship so we haven't taken that path. It never feels romantic, we don't even kiss. Just fucking around when we are both careless and horny, usually under the influence.

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

I don't have many close gay friends. Most of my close male friends are straight and I treat them as brothers. The close gay friends that I do have now, originally started from sexual relationships, but when those ended, these couple of guys stayed around long enough where our friendships have became strong. But at this point, I just could not hook up with them again. This issue has always been a dilemma with me. When I meet new gay guys, I intend to expand my friendships with them, but some of them try to hit on me and I have a hard time deciding whether I risk a potential friendship over hookups.

Re: Do you ever have sex with close friends?

I truly do not understand why SEX is viewed as such an Intimidating thing! Why does it seemingly hold such possible Destructive Power? Why is Sex considered so Fearful, something to be Afraid of? Why is Sex held so Negatively?

In my view, Sex is a Positive! It's the Ultimate Sharing of Yourself with someone else! It's breaking through ALL barriers, and a True realization of each other's very Being! It expands our very Physical Existence! Sex is THE Validation of our most intimate connection with LIFE!

And, who better to experience that with than with Friends? People that we already Love, Trust, and hold Close? If we already have let them into our Hearts, why be so "skittish" about sharing our Bodies? Why would Sex with 'strangers' be considered more 'acceptable'/thrilling than Sex with Friends? I truly do not understand that seemingly general Disconnect!

Because they ARE my Friends, I have NOTHING to "Hide" from them! If they want to get "Frisky", I'm more than willing to accommodate them! It is enough that we already Love each other without having to be "In" Love with each other!

We are ALL Spiritual Beings experiencing a Temporary Physical Existence! Why not make the Best of it, with those we Value the Most, to the Full extent that we can?

And, of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it!_Me