Hope

I have hope that being honest with myself I can work on being a better person. I feel like I my life has no purpose. I want to matter in this big world. It feels like my family overlooks me, I fell excluded all the time. Yes, part of the issue is me. I do tend to push loved ones away. I keep people at a distance to protect my feeling. My 20’s are coming to an end in a few weeks and I want to matter. I hope my 30’s are a turning point in my life. I want to work on my issues and break down the walls I have built up. I’m hoping that by journaling I can find happiness. Its funny that I have no one close to me that I trust enough to tell these things to, not even my husband, but I’m going to write on the internet for the public to see. Maybe on a bad day someone will encourage me to see things in a way I wouldn’t normally. I look forward to seeing where this all goes. I don’t know if how I am feeling is normal for someone my age. I see others in thier late 20’s/early 30’s and they seem so sure of themselves, confident and full of life. I just don’t feel the same. Maybe one day…