Reviewing, always contemplating Curious Observations about Life!

Today I did something that I generally avoid doing…I reached out to someone and asked a question. Why do I avoid reaching out to other and/or ask questions? Because I am always assuming I will be rejected. Ok ok…I know I am just making a big monster out of a dust bunny, but I still feed my anxiety by giving it what it wants; a big fat reason to hide!

But I reached out in spite of my anxiety…and once again my anxiety said ” oh… no…. you…. dont. Don’t you even try to excape feeling stupid”.

What damage is my insecurities doing to me? Well… when this person answered my question with a simple answer, my insecurities deciphered it as something like this…” You are so stupid for asking that question, how dare you waste my time with such an ignorant inquiry”. And finally, and proboly the most devistating thought my insecurity delivered to me was …. “You are so not worthly of asking me a question….Who do you think you are? You ignorant peaion”.

My mind was saying to me, ” you see even a question will open the door to subtle critism”.

So what did I do? I agreed with the voice of insecruity…for about 5 seconds…and then came back to rational thinking…and laughed at my monsters which encourage the dust bunnies to came out of hiding.

It has been really easy to do lately…why… because age gives you courage, time ticking away pushes you to look harder at your failings more reasonably and life force you to face more in an effort to feel alive.

Or maybe I am just so tired of doing the same old thing and not getting the result I want. I just have to start changing the way I do things and being uncomfortable is part of beating my anxiety and insecurity illusions.

I have heard it said so many times…”You shouldn’t care about what people think about you”. Really?, come on…someone like me having unrealistic expectations of myself and ever worse expectation of how others care…by telling me to not care about what others think, doesn’t eliviate that dark voice in my head.

I oscillate between being strong and sweeping out the dust bunnies to suiting myself up for a big fight ( but my armor is mearly just hiding myself away so the monster has no ammunition). Thankfully, the needing to hide from the monsters visitations are becoming much less and therefore the cleaning out and discovering of myself is becoming more confortable.

Closing statement for this post….to be continued…gotta go hide from the monsters for now.

Gloria, Gloria….oh my Gloria…what were you thinking when you said, (I am paraphrasing here), young women are on Bernie’s side politically because they want to find boys. UMMM…bless your heart Gloria, but you are so out of touch.

Was this a put down directed at the women whom are supporting Bernie? Is this what Feminism is? To bully women into conforming to what you want them to be? I thought Feminism is to embrace being feminine and to have power in that.

We as women have choices and that means to do exactly what we want to do without society’s constraints of what a women should be or do. The old form of feminism seems to expect that women should support another woman candidate for president at all costs- this correlates to how some in society think women can’t think for themselves….women are expected to just follow. However, women, more and more, are becoming less of a follower and more of a leader. This translates to women using their own thought processes to choose for themselves. Why can’t women be capable of choosing a candidate based on their own conclusion of which candidate will do the best job?…. Not just picking someone because they are on the same XX chromosome team.

And as for only being there for the boys… Gloria, is it your view of women that their real reason for being out in society is to find a relationship? And what happens after a relationship is found- voting, socializing, working, and other reasons for getting out of the house is over because a relationship should be put ahead of one’s self. …SBIA…really…in this day and age, women don’t need to go out looking for men, they have the whole world at their fingers. One click and they can find a date, boy or girl, quicker than going to Bernie’s convention. Tsk Tsk Gloria…me thinks you are not a true feminist…but a woman that requires other women to follow you at all cost.

I am a women and believe you have the right to be what is true to you. Making the choices that are best for you, not for anyone else, man or women, and supporting other women to do the same.

Now, on to the next woman that forced me to do a double check when she said, ” there is a special place in hell for women that don’t support women”. What Madeleine!?…now we are going to hell because women do not support Hillary. Madeleine, I think you’ve been sipping too much of Gloria’s tea. Does this mean, just by virtue of being a women, I am required to support another women. No..No..No! I didn’t hear feminist screaming that we should support Sarah when she was running for Vice President of the United States. Yes, she is a women, but not the women I want to help run my country. Oh my…I have to say this….I am women hear me roar- while making up my own mind.

Women supporting women is a truly virtuous expectation. But that line is clearly defined that no woman should support another woman that is a detriment to humanity. It seems to be that some women think Hillary is dishonest. Why would any person support dishonesty?(no sex should be given a pass on that character flaw). We have enough of that in our daily lives. A ballot cast gives all citizens a secret control over one’s true conscience.

Feminism is working here ladies…women are making their own choices without the coercion of men, society or from other women. Embrace the fact that you have succeeded in doing what the movement set out to do for women- Free women from the chains of society’s expectations of women…Free to have control over their thoughts, body, religion and voting! Thank you for starting the ball rolling… the women that are truly in touch with what women are today will take it from here.

I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of years on the fourth of July. It was hot and humid here. My sweaty hair was stuck to my face.

My brave little boy was in my big yellow double running stroller, the strap tied a bit too tightly around my arm digging in. My oldest son was running behind me with my husband. I was surrounded by an amazing group of people out there representing the church we attend, showing love for our community by passing out a few thousand popsicles in the parade.

My face was flushed red from the heat and the exertion of running to keep up while pushing a nearly 100 pound load and simultaneously handing out popsicles with one hand while the other steered the stroller.

I handed this person a popsicle, smiled, and offered a short, but enthusiastic, “Hey there!”

As I…

Walmart’s President and CEO of Walmart.com, Fernando Madeira, blog statement(I am paraphrasing here)…customers shouldn’t have to pay for a membership to get a discount, is just a little disingenuous. Fact/Truth ( stealing from Carrie O’s, she is always saying Fact/Truth and I love it when she gets on a rant) Sam’s Club is a Walmart division, and guess what!? I pay a membership to buy from Sam’s Club, happily. There is just somethings that are in the Sam’s Club that I can’t find in other stores. And to have the ability to buy in bulk at a lower price, well that just so justifies the membership fee. I am also a Amazon Prime member and I am happy to pay for that membership too.

While I understand Walmart’s need to counter Amazon Prime’s July 15, 2015, Prime Day, I am a little miffed why Walmart has to target the membership fee. Wouldnt it be kinder for Walmart to create a deal day for themselves, to coincide with Amazon Prime day( I know, the logistics of that happening in less than a year is asking way too much, seriously). Or maybe, just let Amazon have their day and Walmart just make your deal day some other time. Which is everyday because of Walmart’s lowest price guarantee, right?.

But who am I !? I dont have a billion dollar business to run, so therefore maybe I should just let let the companies do their job.But I have to say this…don’t insult your customers intelligence just to jab at your competition. Kinda gives me a creepy, smarmy feeling about the statement, being that Walmart does have a membership for one of their divisions, Sam’s Club.

My Fact/Truth…I will still shop at Walmart, Sam’s, Amazon, Target and many other places. Sometimes its not always about the deal though; sometimes it is just about the convenience of getting something when I want it. Keep doing that and I will keep shopping.

I walk the farm lane almost daily, with the exception of rainy and very cold windy days. A continuous loop is 1 1/2 miles. When practicing speeches I can do at least 8 miles around that farm lane; I look kinda crazy rehearsing my speech. However, it is so great to be able to have the view of the farm, quiet time to practice, and my fitbit to prove that i walked 8 miles. Because truth be told you can not tell I walk so much by my large behind! Working on that too.

First post….and …well….dont know what to say! Generally my brain is always filled with things to say …But today…nothing…Stage fright!? maybe…I will leave it here and write when the words are screaming to get out!

So…I have been saying I will start a blog for over a year now! Honestly not sure why I am starting one. I think it may have something to do with….if it is a challenge I am going to try it! I wouldn’t necessarily call it my passion, but I have had this drive, this urge, this emptiness that I need to fill, that is pushing me to do things…anything(s).For so long I did not try. Call it fear, but not the fear of trying , it was the big fat fear of being judge when I tried and failed. At least for me, getting older has dissipates the fear of judgement, scorn, and I told ya so, somewhat, and now I am making up for lost time. My goal is to a have a what I didn’t do post on (Truth)Tuesdays, followed up by what I am doing now (Trying)Thursdays…. and in between some curious observations along the way.

So my first Truth Tuesday….can’t spell…nope…so can’t spell. It was daunting without a computer and spell check growing up( aging myself here), because if I couldn’t spell it, how can I look it up in a dictionary to spell it correctly. But now spell check has been a great help; although sometimes spell check can’t decipher the word I am trying to spell. It doesn’t bother me a bit that I can’t spell. As a matter of fact I kinda feel it is apart of my eclectic character. I embraced the fact that I can’t spell and add it to another thing in my life that makes me laugh at myself! One caveat of spell check…if on my phone, clicking a word when spell check comes up and it is not the correct spelling, I will continue to misspell the word. Example, Speech..my phone keep correcting it to S-p-e-a-c-h! Funny thing is, my brain will not accept the correct spelling. I must always double check because the correct spelling in my head will never be there. Every time I double check, it is truly like the first time I am spelling the word.