Everyday Cheapskate: Everything is negotiable

By Mary Hunt

Posted:
08/18/2014 12:01:00 AM CDT

Updated:
08/25/2014 10:20:38 AM CDT

What I know about the art and science of negotiating I learned as a matter of survival.

Driven to save myself and my family from financial ruin, I jumped into the deep end of the real estate industry. I knew nothing about negotiating. All I knew was that I had to find a way to bring interested parties together, get them to agree and see that everyone walked away a winner.

While I no longer sell and lease industrial properties, I still rely heavily on the negotiating skills I learned. Every day I use them in one way or another. Sometimes it's a complex issue, but most of the time it's just a series of one-minute negotiations.

Negotiating is the way you get what you want, whether it's a roof, a new car or your teenage son to put the seat down.

No matter if your negotiations involve an allowance program for your kids or persuading a creditor to reduce your interest rate, learning to negotiate from strength will reduce tension, relieve stress and build your confidence.

Something for everyone. The goal is not that everyone comes out an equal winner, but everyone should walk away satisfied. Negotiating a deal that gives something of value to each party is the mark of a wise negotiator.

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Ask for more than you will settle for. To illustrate, let's say you want to make an offer considerably less than the asking price of a house you would like to own. You write the low-ball offer, but in a surprise move stipulate that the price includes the laundry room appliances, pool table, dining room suite and piano that you saw on your initial tour. The seller responds that the price of the house is acceptable "but that certainly does not include my personal property!" You win because you get your price -- you didn't really want the 25-year-old stuff, anyway -- and the seller wins because he stood firm against what he considered to be an unreasonable request.

The party with the most knowledge wins. Never forget that knowledge is power. The more you know the better your chances of getting what you want. The true skill comes in keeping what you know to yourself, revealing only a bit at a time and doing so only when it is to your advantage.

The least motivated party is in control. If the other party finds out you are desperate to make the deal, you've lost control. Any time you can send nonverbal cues that you are not desperate -- in fact, you are willing to cancel if you do not get what you want -- you retain control. No matter how eager you may be on the inside, never let it show.

Would you like to send a tip to Mary? You can email her at mary@ everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2099, Cypress, CA 90630. Include your first and last name and state.