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A little SUMthing about growing up, making mistakes and happy endings.

Tear This Wall Down

June 21, 2016

We have a problem.

The amount of hate people have for the gay community is baffling. I have tried for many years to figure it out, but I can’t. And the controversy— so much controversy: Gays in the military. Gay marriage. Gay adoption. There’s so much buzz around these topics, if Prince had wanted to record Controversy II, he would have been set.

Why would anyone care if someone is gay? According to the Merriam-Webster definition, “gay” means happy and excited : cheerful and lively. How is that a problem? And the icon for the LGBT community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) is a rainbow! WHO HATES ON A RAINBOW???

When we adopted from China in 2008, gay people weren’t allowed to adopt from there. Truth be told, I didn’t know that when we adopted, I was only interested in whether or not I was going to get approved. I only know now because just recently I wanted to check some dates in our paperwork and I saw that gay people weren’t allowed to adopt a baby in China.

In what world does being gay prevent someone from being a good parent? Or a good soldier? Or anything? I can understand not wanting to hang with someone for lack of common interests, but to flat-out ban or not like someone BECAUSE THEY’RE GAY? No. I don’t get that at all. It’s so idiotic to me that I’m laughing even as I write this.

But the bible condemns homosexuality as a sin! Please. The Bible also condemns eating or touching swine, (Leviticus 11:8) but that doesn’t seem to matter much when you’re sitting around watching Monday Night Football with one hand on the remote and the other down your pants.

Being gay is a sexual orientation. “Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender.” (I didn’t make that up. I googled it but that’s what it is.)

Basically, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone except the people involved. Yes it does! He’s going to want me! Trust me, he’s not going to want you. I can pretty much promise he’s not going to want you, and if he did, so what? Why not be flattered by it? At least someone wants you!

Years ago on Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan there was a restaurant called The Backstage Deli. My dad used to take us. It was very cool: art deco style, Broadway posters and a predominantly gay clientele. I loved it. Plus, we were always the only kids, so we got all the attention—and the best waiter. He was so good to us, and that had nothing to do with him being gay or straight, it had to do with him being awesome.

I guess some people just need to hate. Maybe they’re scared of things they don’t understand, maybe they’re jealous, maybe they’re being brought up on a steady diet of bitterness, I don’t know.

Hate is hate. That’s all I know. I don’t care what kind of hate it is, I only care about preventing it—because sometimes, hate leads to irreperable damage. Damage that changes lives forever. And when that happens, we have a problem.

From there, we can either ignore the problem, or we can do something about it:

What can we do?

We can grab our kids and teach them love and appreciation and acceptance.

Kids learn the quickest because their brains are new; they’re not loaded down with a bunch of excess crap like ours. It’s why little kids learn foreign languages faster than adults. Sponge brain, yo.

Teaching kids early to respect others for who they are will only serve them well in the future. If their friend Alex announces he’s better suited as Alexis, they won’t ridicule, they will support. If the prom king announces he’s really the prom queen or a friend decides to come “out” during dinner, they will smile and order cake to celebrate. (Save me some.)

Plus, if someone else says something ignorant and hurtful, they will know not to follow because they’ve been educated, and maybe they’ll even correct the ignorance.

At Dim Sum and Doughnuts, we have zero tolerance for unreasonable hate.

We believe LOVE can be promoted just as hard as hate, but we can’t do it alone.

We hope you share this post to help us support the LGBTQ community, and then please accept this invite to join us on the Dim Sum and Doughnuts Facebook page for a very special DS+D Awareness Campaign video you will love! (Grab your kids or SUM-one else’s kid for it!)

Timing…
On my Facebook feed yesterday, one of my “memories” popped up, and it was when we got delayed in the Detroit airport after Family Camp (still not happy that we couldn’t make it this year). The one kid had killed nine people in the church in Charleston. I purposefully put L’s back to the TV because I didn’t know if I was ready for this conversation. She heard something, turned around, and saw the faces of the nine African Americans who lost their lives to Roof’s hate. Here is the conversation that occurred:
L: Mommy, are all those people dead?
Me: Yes, honey, it’s a very sad and tragic situation.
L: Did a white man kill them.
Me: Yes.
L: Did he kill them because they are brown?
Me: I don’t know enough of the situation to answer that right now.
L: Why do some white people not like brown people?
Me: I don’t know. They are stupid, and they will NEVER be our friends. I promise. Because we don’t see color in our family, and we shouldn’t see color in the world.

I 100 P remember when you guys had this convo. You told me about it right after.
It’s hard enough to hear news like that but then to turn it into a teachable moment…you’re amazing.
You’re a special mom, teacher, wife, aunt and friend. I’m lucky to have you in my life as all of those things, except you’re not my aunt. That would be weird (esp bc your mom already married your uncle!!!) HAHAHAHAHAH! I hope no one reads this comment, they won’t understand my ridiculous love for you. TY for all the support and for being all the things you are. Pass that s**t on!! XOXO BFFL

Great read! I have 2 different friends with a gay child! Their sexual preference in no way affects me! I can’t imagine not loving these two remarkable young people just because of who they choose to be with! #cantwealljustgetalong!

Right? TY, Lisa! That’s all we’re trying to say. What difference does it make? It’s so idiotic, I can’t…I can’t. I JUST CAN’T. I will never get it. EVER.
Love that you are here. Love that you commented. And most of all, LOVE how you think! So lucky to have you as a reader. TY!!!! XOXOX

Hello lovely people! My name is Lainie and I’m the Have a Gay Day admin that Levi has been corresponding with. Your video has been shared with our admin team. Is your dog a Newfoundland? I think it’s ridiculous that gay people are still banned in many places from adopting when there’s so many children who need homes. Great job on this video and keep it up! Love me some donuts.

Lainie!!
Hi! We are so happy to hear from you and SO excited that Have a Gay Day is going to share our video. Bruno is a Black Lab with a very large head. We love him very much. He’s so professional too, don’t you think? 🙂
Thank you for helping us support LGBT awareness. Love is love and after reading the post, I think you know how we feel.
Love us some Have a Gay Day!!
XOXOXOXOX and rainbows!!
–Everyone at DS+D

Thank you so much for your voice of support! We are forever grateful to those of your who voice it. It not only shines a positive light for us but also our children!https://www.facebook.com/brooksamsbeach/

Hi Brook! We agree! We thought if I wrote a post but the kids did the video, it would be more fun and engaging for kids. Thank you for being a part of it. We appreciate the support too!!! Hope to see you again!!
XOXOX R

Hatred is hatred. People are people. My sister and I were brought up in a family where “different” meant “not the same” and NOT “worse,” “inferior,” “enemy,” or any other judgment-laden potential meaning — and my niece, who looks nothing like any other individual member of her dearly loving and beloved family, is being brought up the same way. Much as I hope & pray this way of thinking becomes the norm, I have to be honest & say I’m not holding my breath — but we will NOT give up on teaching it and trying to spread it. Thanks for your post!

So very well said, Brian. We can only do our best to help change things, and raising awareness through our readers is our starting point. Thank you for taking the time to read our thoughts on the subject and for commenting. We have to start somewhere, right? Haters hate. They don’t even discriminate. They just look for things to hate, It’s our choice to ignore them. 🙂 Hope to see you again soon! Love his comment.