Ask anyone what the goal of negotiation is and most people will tell you that it’s getting the best deal. You meet your adversary, each of you declares what you want, and both parties hang on by their fingernails until one side caves in. In other words, it’s all about you.

For the past 25 years as a negotiation coach, I’ve taken the contrarian view about what makes for a successful negotiation. The proceedings are not about you. It’s about the other guy.

What I mean is that you must demonstrate to the other party – your adversary – how they can be the beneficiary by seeing things your way. How do you do that? By creating a vision in their mind of what, at their end, can be achieved if they embrace your product, service, or ideas. Of course, the other party can ultimately decide that what you’ve presented to them – benefits at a certain price – is not their cup of tea.

The critical point I’m making is that it’s for you to show how the other party will benefit. In my system, I make it clear that companies have a better chance having a successful negotiation outcome if they show the other party what’s in it for them.

Which brings me to the sequester, which officially began on March 1 at 11:59 p.m. The sequester involves automatic spending cuts that are authorized by the Budget Control Act, a piece of legislation that President Obama signed last summer. The Budget Control Act raised the debt ceiling. Everyone hoped that Congress would figure out a better and long-term strategy to reduce our country’s deficits. As we all know, that hasn’t happened. And, as a negotiation coach, it’s crystal clear to me why no progress has been made.

The last thing most members of Congress focus on is the other guy, which, in this case, is the citizenry of this country. Unfortunately, senators’ and representatives’ main focus is often their own agenda: getting reelected and remaining loyal to the outdated, even backward political and economic ideas of their constituents. In a perfect world, the men and women of Congress would paint a vision in the minds of the voters, demonstrating how, for example, voting for a tax increase may pinch in the short term, but that it’s a vital step for long-term growth and debt reduction.

Even if some members of Congress were interested in pursuing this route, they’d probably tell you that laying out this scenario for the voters back home would take too much time and thought. And, besides, they’d say, who wants to address the likely venomous response from their constituents?

This is why Obama’s new outreach to Republicans – the party that controls the House of Representatives – is critical. Yesterday he met with a dozen Republican senators. From my vantage point, he faces a formidable task.

Obama needs to implant a vision in Republicans whose reason for being, these days, seems to be thwarting any movement on coming to a budget agreement that might put this country on a better track. Because Obama favors a deficit-reduction package that involves both reduced spending and tax increases – as opposed to Republican-favored cuts in entitlement programs – he needs to do a lot of convincing. And he’ll have to do that through a vision that speaks to how the entire economic spectrum in this country can benefit. Will this be enough?

Here’s an example of how shortsighted Republicans can be. When Hurricane Sandy devastated parts of New York City and New Jersey, even Republican governor of New Jersey Chris Christie complained about the partisan politics that held up aid to both states. It’s clear that, even in catastrophic hardship cases like this, Republicans have no feel for the other guy.

The President has his vision-creating work cut out for him. Getting Republicans to see and embrace that it’s not about them – which is the best way to negotiate – is not something they’re used to.

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This article is by Jim Camp, the founder and chief executive of the Camp Negotiation Institute, a negotiation training organization, and author of Start with No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don’t Want You to Know and NO: The Only System of Negotiation You Need for Work or Home.