STRAIGHT...in a gay world
My first experience with the gay subculture came about because I love
steam baths. The bathhouses of San Francisco in the 1960s were major
gathering places for male homosexuals. I came to know their world but
never really joined it.
My first awareness of gay men as something besides snickeringly referred
to "queers" came when my mother went into the florist business. Floral
design was an occupation associated with the "pink underworld."
My peers had hostile attitudes towards these men and towards
homosexuality, although I know that most of us had experienced sex with
each other in some form before we even reached high school. Statistics
in these matters are so skewed by society's prejudice that even today I
feel that there are very few males who have not experienced some form of
homosexual contact.
My relationship with Lesbians is even closer as some of my daughters
live the life. I never had any trouble with that since I can't
understand why anyone would prefer males as sexual partners.
As I write this the popular media and some genetic research is in heated
debate with self-styled moralists over whether homosexuals are born that
way or make a choice, often steered by proselytizing gay or bisexual
men.
In the first place homosexuality is largely a verbal figment and the gay
lifestyle is probably a separate issue from sexual preference. The
shadings of these behaviors is far too complex to be capsulized in a
word so cross-dressers, transsexuals, and homophobes are but signified
(and in some cases stigmatized) humans.
I have little to say about being gay, but some observations about the
absurdity of the straight world's reactions to people who live another
way. I don't know if most or all of the people who prefer sexual
partners of their own gender got "that way" from choice or because they
were recruited into the behavior by their friendly priest, but I don't
think it matters much. If it's a choice it's a tough one to have made;
if it's genetic then the verdict on whether it's blessing or curse is
cultural and the tendency to accept "bashing" in much of our culture is
at best regrettable. When I was a child it was regarded as appropriate
behavior to giggle over the idea of heating a penny and admiring the
effect of a burnt hand on a "retard." Attacking Jehovah's Witnesses was
actively encouraged by some "Christians" and if gay men hadn't been
deeply closeted they'd probably have suffered even more really violent
shit.
The list of people who are gay and have contributed mightily to the
development of what we have come to think of as admirable is very
extensive and as the closets crumble, more misconceptions about the
"condition" are shown to be absurd.
A Walker Percy character says something like "pity is the first step to
the gas chamber" and I think that another first step is the bigots'
conviction that "faggots" are fair game for anything from ridicule to a
little bash here and there.
If you "can't stand faggots" I would urge you to get to know a few who
share your nonsexual interests; you will be surprised and, I hope, get
over your prejudice.