Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Raising Him Right

I have been thinking a lot lately about what kind of parents I want us to be and what I want Paxton to learn from Jared and me. I realize that we're definitely not the only ones shaping him, he will be influenced by friends, classmates, teachers, other family members, and people he sees on TV or reads about without ever meeting. It's up to us to make sure that we start him out with a good foundation, and on the right path to being a strong and good person.

Here are some of the things that I would like Paxton to learn from his parents' marriage:

How to treat girls. Jared has always said that even when he was young, his dad was teaching him how to treat girls, and I believe it. Mark has always treated me like a princess and expected Jared to do the same. He has accepted me in to the family. From the first family vacation I joined them on in Hot Springs, he has taken care of me. He gave me the second bedroom and made Jared and Mason sleep on the couch in the living room (Jared and I weren't married yet), he carried my luggage and didn't make one single comment about how much of it there was. This kind of treatment has continued since then, and Jared is the same way. He holds open doors even when he's balancing Paxton's carseat, he pays (even though it's OUR money), he won't let me carry heavy things, and he always makes sure I'm happy. I definitely want Jared (and Grandpa Mark) to pass this on to Paxton. If he turns out like them, I know he will make some girl really happy someday.

How to take care of a house and himself. Both of our mom's did a great job teaching us the skills we would need to be on our own. Jared helps with a lot of the housework and takes pride in a clean house. I know that's something his mom instilled in him that not all moms of boys attempt to do. We want Paxton to leave home with good personal hygiene, knowing how to take care of himself, his clothes, and his living space. He will have chores to learn these skills, and he probably won't have an allowance.

What a healthy, loving relationship looks like. I want Paxton to be able to watch us and understand what a good relationship looks like. I want him to learn how to treat his future wife from watching how Jared treats me. I want him to learn what trust looks like, and what teamwork looks like from watching how Jared and I run the house. Most of all, I never want him to question that his parents will stay together. There are way too many kids out there that have to constantly worry that their family will be broken. I don't want that for Paxton.

To share. Jared and I both very easily adapted into the marriage mindset where "what's mine is yours". Probably because we were both raised with siblings and sharing was a must. We want Paxton to be a very unselfish little boy, both with toys and with love. We want him to help others.

Obviously, there are a lot of other qualities that we hope to instill in our little boy, but those are the most important things that we want him to learn from example. Jared and I realize that we need to model these behaviors every single day for it to work. There will undoubtedly be times where it is tough, but it isn't just about us anymore, it's about our son.