Once Upon A Time

And, in the end, when the alien robots arrived, there was only a single iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum standing guard over a very clean planet.

What is it? asked the other robots. What happened to this planet? But the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum had no answer, because the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum could not speak.

It took some time for the robots to build a device that let them speak to the little iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum. Once it was completed, they all gathered around and asked again... what happened to this planet?

In its simple language, the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum explained. The humans had seen a young adult movie and read a famous children's book. They'd made teams for something called "Quidditch" and tried to make flying brooms. They'd studied sorcery and dark powers... and achieved them. A mighty spell was sent forth, around the world, bringing all the brooms to life. But then... the brooms became an unstoppable army... determined to wipe mankind from the planet.

The humans hid in caves, and houses, and NASA clean rooms. Everywhere they went, the brooms found them. They swept them away like dirt and left them for the dustpan army (which didn't exist, but the brooms didn't know that) to scavenge. Before long, less than a handful of humans remained. And none of them knew the counter-spell.

But one of them did have an iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum, the very iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum that now stood before the alien robots. And, oh, was the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum ever so loyal. His human said "Clean." and he cleaned, cleaned all the dirt and grime and muck, cleaned the carpets and the hard floors, cleaned everywhere the brooms might cross in a way they could never, ever, EVER match. And the brooms, the magic brooms, they began to fall before the might... of engineering and science.

The alien robots began to look at each other and weep. They weeped at the beauty of the iRobot 581 Roomba Vacuum's story. They weeped at the loyalty a simple vacuum could show. They weeped that such a noble race would turn its back on sorcery and instead focus on a tiny, adorable robot.

And that's when the rocks started to fly out of nowhere. "We got 'em now, boys!" yelled the first human. "Treachery forever! Science never!" called the second. And as the alien robots ran for their spaceship, they remembered why they'd put this planet on the "Do Not Land" list in the first place.

But they had to admit, them humans sure made pretty good vacuum robots.

Features

On-board scheduling allows you to preset up to seven cleaning times per week for Roomba to clean when it's most convenient for you - whether you're at home or on the go

Roomba 581 systematically cleans four rooms on a single charge, gets into hard-to-reach areas like wall edges and beneath furniture, avoids stairs and other drop offs and automatically adjusts from carpets to hard floors and back again

Each Virtual Wall Lighthouse (3 included) confines Roomba to one room until the entire floor is vacuumed before Roomba moves on to the next room

Purchaser Seniority

Quantity Breakdown

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

4%

5%

2%

2%

1%

2%

2%

6%

8%

7%

11%

6%

8%

5%

5%

3%

3%

3%

3%

3%

3%

3%

3%

2%

12

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk.
We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

Woot.com is operated by Woot Services LLC.
Products on Woot.com are sold by Woot, Inc., other than items on Wine.Woot which are sold by the seller specified on the product detail page.
Product narratives are for entertainment purposes and frequently employ
literary point of view;
the narratives do not express Woot's editorial opinion.
Aside from literary abuse, your use of this site also subjects you to Woot's
terms of use
and
privacy policy.
Woot may designate a user comment as a Quality Post, but that doesn't mean we agree with or guarantee anything said or linked to in that post.