5 Things to Do When You Pray and Nothing Changes

It has been going on for two years. This problem my husband and I have. It is a problem that affects both of us and yet was caused by neither one of us.

We have spent plenty of time and money trying to solve this problem, but the thing we have done most is pray. And yet, nothing has changed. At least not yet.

I have prayed countless prayers asking God to make this problem go away and yet in his great sovereignty God is keeping silent on the issue. At this point, I have no inclination from Him that anything is going to change. But, I keep believing .

My faith ebbs and flows, though mostly flows because I have come to realize two major truths during this season of tears, frustration, hope and disappointment. The first is that as I look back over the course of my life, God has always come through for me. I don’t mean that things have always turned out the way I wanted or thought I needed them to. I mean, God has always been there for me no matter what happened in my life and I know he always will be.

In Hebrews 13:5 God says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Second, I have decided that when “life happens” to me—the bad parts—I am going to try and first decide who I want to be and then act. What I mean is this. When the situation is over, I want to look back and feel good about who I was during the process. Because that is what really counts, right? How we act when things don’t go our way. That is our opportunity to prove to ourselves and others how great our love and trust in God really are. These are the moments that shape our character, build our trust and make us more like Jesus.

Isaiah 53:3 says, “He (Jesus) was a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering.”

During this season, as I remember God’s faithfulness and am mindful of my response, there are a few other practices that help me—things that may benefit you when faced with a difficult life season.

1) Keep praying. Pray often. If you are married, pray with your husband. And, ask a few people you are close to and trust to pray for you.

2)Quote scripture. Find scriptures that relate to your issue and write them on index cards. Then place them around the house so you can read them throughout the day.

3) Have a team mindset. Whether your problem is personal, your husband’s or both of yours equally it can be easy to forget that you are on the same team. Stress can cause people to isolate themselves, argue or even lash out. Remember that you are on the same team fighting for the same thing—each others’ physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. It is also helpful to remember that God is on your team. He is for you and not against you.

4) Count your blessings. My great grandmother did this to alleviate worry. Think about the most difficult seasons of your life and how God brought you through. This reminds you of his faithfulness and builds your trust.

5) Ask for help. If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed or anxious and prayer does not seem to be enough, seek professional help. Speak with a counselor or doctor to see what treatment options may assist you.

How about you? Have you been praying for something and nothing seems to change? How are you responding to the silence? What are you doing to remain hopeful? Will you one day look back and be pleased with your response to this season of your life?

About Jenevieve Wardell

Jenevieve lives in Charlotte with her husband Randy and two children, Isaac and Hope. She is a licensed mental health counselor who practiced for five years, and now writes for a monthly psychotherapy blog. She is currently a stay-at-home mom who is learning to embrace grace in a whole new way.

Comments

I loved reading this thanks Vieve for the post, this definately ministers to me and a situation that I sometimes feel is hopeless! But my trust is not in my feelings, my trust is in God. And I completely trust Him, but honestly I do not think I have been a very good witness in this time of my life. But reading this has inspired me.

Cinnamon, thank you for reading. It is hard to trust God during difficult seasons, but when we do so it pleases him (Hebrews 11:6) and can witness/minister to those around us. I am glad you are inspired. His mercies are new every morning.

You gave out fantastic points but one thing we sometimes forget is that prayer is a dialogue not a monologue. We must come to the point of conversing with our Father which is a two-way conservation. We must learn to hear HIm speak back to us.I believe He always answers and also He will let us know why sometimes He delays in answering our prayers and later on gives us a better understanding of the situation. God Bless.

Blessed Beyond Description, yes, I agree with you that sometimes we find out later why our life went a certain way. I also believe there are some reasons for our life paths that God will not reveal until we meet him. I also agree that prayer is a conversation. I love the sweet revelations my Father gives me during prayer and through reading the Bible. Thanks for reading and responding.

Yes, Blessed Beyond Description. I learned that the hard way after two miscarriages when I asked God honestly, why do I even pray? His answer took me on a beautiful journey of realizing what prayer is meant to be….communion with him. But I love these thoughts from Jenevieve on how to handle the wait when you don’t hear him or feel he has yet answered a request. Great post!

Jessica W, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am always inspired by people like you who keep pressing into God even when things go wrong (two miscarriages). In the Bible, David often questioned God and asked God to come quickly to his rescue, but he also always deeply trusted the Lord. Waiting for an answer can be hard, but God is always with us–even in the silence. Remembering this helps me to trust him.

I enjoyed reading this even though I kind of already figured what you were going to say . It’s hard to keep Faith at times when you are constantly praying and crying out asking God for the answers and directions on where he wants you to go its very frustrating and overwhelming constantly trying to figure out God’s will for your life when nothing seems to go right and you get no answers.I’m still praying and hoping that God speaks to me soon I’ve done all I can to draw near to him hope rescues me one day my life is a mess

Ive had to learn that when we feel like we arent getting answers, its usually because God said no. His “no” tends not to be an obvious one..He doesnt speak it out loud to us. But after a very long time, you have to assume it and accept it. In the case of the blogger, she can keep praying but God may have said NO long ago.

Fuck your interpretation of his word.He knows what I do before me yet judges me? If God exists then he’s a fucking asshole who could give 2 shits about us. Sounds more like a kid with pet he torments. He will NOT do a fucking thing for you, lf its not in his agenda. Been praying over 20 years and yet to be heard. Say its my choices? But those choices were pre determined so I don’t have a choice. Still think it’s me? Read the bible you fucking ass hat. He knows me and my choices millions of years before I’m here so how is it free will when the programs been written. Let’s face it. Some of us are fucked because the”man” upstairs is notching more than a little fucking bitch who fuckd with us from day 1 until death. I never asked to be born, yet he can’t stop having a blast fucking me over. So, if you’re a “believer”, good luck. The only prayer you’ll get answered is if you ask him to say or do nothing. God is no better than a black father. Abandons you from the get go then might poke his head in to give you hope, then bend you over with no lube and definitely not a reach around. Keep believing, fucking idiots. What proof do you have he does a fucking thing? Coincidence is more likely. To ask a people to have faith in something that shows not a damn thing in proof is like asking to ask someone to believe in the US government. The bible was written by man, which we all know are full of shit. So, if God is what you put your faith in, then I’ve got some muffler bearings and a left handed pair of scissors for you. Fucking idiots and religion. Nothing happens when you die and if it does and God exists, then you’re better off giving Satan a holla.at least he doesn’t lie about how he’s going to fuck you