Of course, the first thing I did was show this to Mario Cipollini, and as we watched it together he had only one question:

(Spoiler alert: she doesn't.)

So what do you get for sending this kook on a bike trip? Nothing! Well, you get some shitty art or something. Scoff if you will, but this "puffery" shit works, because she's already made over $1,800--which, I might add, she gets to keep even if she doesn't make her fundraising goal:

Yep, someone put some stickers on a fixie wheel and made it into the Whitney:

Not only that, but the New York Times said she's "revitalizing abstract painting" in the process!

“Untitled,” 2013, by Laura Owens, one of the women revitalizing abstract painting.

Wow. Firstly, what's abstract about this? It's a fucking wheel. Secondly, can you imagine what the critic who wrote that would think if she saw the Fixed Gear Gallery? She's probably shit herself in amazement.

Of course, as the Tweeterer astutely points out, this is a total ripoff of the world-famous and iconic "All You Haters Suck My Balls" wheel, which I first posted about way back in 2008:

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then whoop-dee-doo, and if you're wrong then you'll see the days when cycling had style.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and may your puffery be fruitful.

Dude, you didn't scroll down enough - for 1500, you get a nude of the bride. Though she could save us all 1500 and at least just take her top off...Maybe if you send her a BSNYC wool cap she will in return send you something? If you send me a BSNYC cap, I promise NOT to send you a nude pic of me...

It's a noble gas. It won't do shit because it isn't going to react with anything in your body. It wouldn't be any different than breathing any other non-oxygen gas like helium.

However, I predict it will become popular with masters racers shortly. Xenon is extremely expensive, so it must be better than other noble gases like helium or argon.

I do like the guy in the Velonews article saying it might be carcinogenic because radon is. These are the people coming up with doping policy? Radon is a noble gas, but it's radioactive. That's why its carcinogenic.

“There was talk of carbon monoxide being a good stimulant for EPO production. We heard that a team in the last year had been experimenting with that, and that’s similar to Xenon in general terms. We thought it was probably a bad idea to try and pursue the idea.”

I think experimenting with carbon monoxide inhalation will thin the Fred ranks considerably.

You should totally write more art criticism. I don't know if you've ever read ArtForum but my god what a load of crap. They talk about art the way bicycle reviewers write about all that over priced component shite.

You know, it's not every day in this universe when someone takes a piece of art from the Whitney sesqui-scranal or whatever, compares it to some surfer shorts from '86, AND THEY LOOK JUST LIKE IT. I'm just happy to have been able witness the moment.

Do they listen to what they say - "we cannot control cars, but we can control ourselvers". Is he fucking stupid? A person can only control themselves on a bike? You lose complete control of all motor skills when you drive? If so, you should not be driving you idiot.

I'm back.Had a cocktail downtown at 1:00. It's what we do in small town mid-America on Friday afternoons.Early contenders for COD are Jayteepee 1:43, McFly 2:03, Anon 2:07, Crosspalms 2:12, and Anon 2:14. I'm headed back in for more drinks, so somebody decide. Have a great weekend.

Well since we're reminiscing about the old days I guess i'll come clean. Yes I had the swatch. And the jams but maybe they were generic. Better yet I rocked the mullet and the Sonny Crockett jacket with T shirt.

CLASSIC SEASON IS UPON US! Omlet Hit Newsbad.....Knnuunnee-Brussel Sprouts-Pooone Tain.........Its supposed to snow here again. I may ride in it like the hard men of the peloton. If Babble will put the right images on her blogulation.

Well of course that's what I meant. You need to get your mind out of the gutter. That other kind of stuff (T & A) is just degrading and 92.8% of the reason I get on the internet. The other 7.2% is divided between FB (AKA Cleavage.com), How To's, Beiks and the EBAY.

I clicked on the bret-lobster-workcycles link. I'm supporting creative types without spending any money? And all it took was pretending to be interested in a bike I'm not going to buy because I'm poor, and because I own a car, and because the only times I need to move stuff I also need to move them at freeway speeds.

Is there a more hipstery corner of the internet right now? BSNYC even liked cycling before it was cool.

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!