Yeah, me and AG were chatting about this one so here goes:1) 100 bottles of beer2) Extra heavy stone pillar3) Jewel Encrusted Goblin Skull Drinking Mug (w/ relatives that want it back "Ghdklafdi won't go to goblin heaven if he isn't buried in one piece")4) Masterwork Sword of Pointiness

More to come...

Logged

For the love of meat, shut up! No one wants to hear your emo character background! My hands are literally melting away, and I'm complaining less than you!—K'seliss, Goblins

PoisonAlchemist: Man Muro, you boost my confidence and then you just go crush it with a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.Pariah: Don't tell him things like that, if his head gets any bigger he'll float off like a weather ballon :p

PoisonAlchemist: Man Muro, you boost my confidence and then you just go crush it with a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.Pariah: Don't tell him things like that, if his head gets any bigger he'll float off like a weather ballon :p

5-A Glowstick that won't set underground gas alight6-A pickaxe7-A golden chain8-A metal sheild9-A drawven tomb for the use of his whole family when they die10-Something to keep beards clean11-Dwarf bread

12 - A pet rock. Dwarven pet rocks are actually quite smart, can move, can warm your bed and make people you don't like stub their toes on them. They can be thrown and come back, they can guard you while you sleep and wake you up with something lovingly (and flatteringly) called 'rock music' (disharmonic yelling that could wake the dead!).

13 - A Battlegaard and Choppensmacker brand axe of the finest quality. It comes with a service kit, a guarantee, a certificate and an agent of the company will come, perform your last rites and bury the axe with you when you die. Also, it deals 1 point of damage more than any (non-magical) weapon in its class.

14 - A stout woman. Dwarven lasses are the most precious treasure any clan has. To be awarded one as wife is the greatest honor the dwarvs can bestow. Hildegard has breasts that could wean an army, a behind where you could serve a dinner for four, never tires in bed, will make you Dwarven bread sandwiches when you go off adventuring, and forge you a new suit of armor every time you're gone.

Logged

"Captain, the buttocks are moving from the pink into the red and purple spectrum! We cannot maintain this rate of spanking any longer!"

15. Stonebeard ClaspsHow do dwarves keep their beards and braids from being chopped off in battle by orc glaives and goblin scimitars? Stonebeard Clasps, that’s how. These uncommonly given items are prized by dwarves and by extension deemed worthy gifts. The clasps magic is simple and effective. Once clasped around a hanging beard, or hair braid, the clasp infuses the hair with the supposed ‘strength of stone’. Thus bladed weapons glance off harmlessly from the wearer’s beard and locks in the heat of battle.

PoisonAlchemist: Man Muro, you boost my confidence and then you just go crush it with a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.Pariah: Don't tell him things like that, if his head gets any bigger he'll float off like a weather ballon :p

16 - A humble homeMy home, my castle - as the saying goes. With dwarves, it's literal. After all, a dwarf needs a safe home before he can consider getting himself a nice lass and some wee dwarflings. Thus the value of this gift.The dwarves build you a solid house that could withstand the apocalypse - or half a dozen of them. Complete with siege engines on the rampart and in the tower, of course - what good is a house that can only take punishment, and dish out none?

17 - A delver buddyActually a miniature metal golem, the delver buddy is indispensable below the earth. He can watch your back while you dig, crawl where you cannot go, measure time without fail, store your gold nuggets for you and watch out for dangerous gasses and tremors. He also passes you tools upon request, and holds one small flask of brandy, one torch and a piece of deep mole jerky in case of emergencies.

18 - The funny tomeDwarves value good humor, they just differ from other races in the definition of "funny". This pocket-sized booklet holds scores of dwarven jokes, tried and true. For example: "Why aren't you ining for gold today, Hrangwulf?" "Ah, I think I already have enough." is an oldie but goldie.

19 - BoomsticksDwarvs like fire and loud entertainment. Fireworks exactly fit the bill. You get handed a huge box with crackers, rockets and flares sufficient for a lifetime of Silvesters, or blowing up a medium-sized city.

20 - A reliable rideYou get a faithful mountain pony. They can subsist on a handful of oats, resist temperatures near absolute zero, can drink more vodka than you, and handle any terrain, whether tunnel, decris or near-vertical slopes. Also, when faced with greenskins, they're of more use than an average human militia.

21 - The Ring of FriendshipA subtle steel band with dwarvish writing, the ring bears a subtle enchantment. Any dwarf will know what you did for its creator. Even dwarves born away from their home holds, in the lands of man, will recognize and honor the ring.

Logged

"Captain, the buttocks are moving from the pink into the red and purple spectrum! We cannot maintain this rate of spanking any longer!"

23. A mighty dwarven estateThankful for the PCs help, the dwarves bestow upon them the highest honor they could think of, a mighty estate in their home province. Unfortunately, the underground province was overrun by orcs and their kin some four centuries ago, but as soon as it is back in their hands, the PCs will get their rightful reward! The dwarves ceremonially enter the PC names into a huge, leather and iron bound ledger, gulfing down a goblet of beer when done.

The dwarves will hint nicely that they could use some help reclaiming their province.

24. A well-used drinking horn. This drinking horn is lined with silver and inscribed with runes proclaiming its lineage and blessing the health of the bearer. When filled with water, the horn cleanses it and suffuses it with the taste of a clear, mountain stream. When filled with alcohol, the liquor is infused with the constitution of the dwarves, fortifying the imbiber and strengthening their arm. This horn has been passed from father to son for generations of dwarves, and receiving it is a deep mark of respect. The dwarf considers you to be as good as adopted kin.

26 - An evening of cultureYou get invited to a dwarven opera, a cultural happening of utmost significance. The thing takes several hours, features lots of busty dwarven women in shining plate and men in heraldry-encrusted armor, an ornate plot and music that is a cross between Wagner's Ring der Nibelungen, Hans Zimmer and power metal.

27 - PieExactly that. A dwarven steynkrust-schmaus pie holds mountain goat cheese, assorted meat from the finest moles and rats, and the most fragrant mushrooms their subterranean realms can offer, all baked in a crispy crust.

Logged

"Captain, the buttocks are moving from the pink into the red and purple spectrum! We cannot maintain this rate of spanking any longer!"

28 - A body of iron! (1)In three months, the dwarven Iron Man competition takes place, and this old dwarf you aided will run you through his training regime so that you're fit enough to compete. Compete, not win, as no surfacer could ever match the toughness of the dwarfiest dwarves.

29 - A body of iron! (2)Your PC was grievously injured, but the dwarves can fix him, they've got the technology! Enjoy your new golem arm or enchanted eye; and if they cannot help you, they can still build an armored steam-driven wheelchair with 120mm cannons and a martini dispenser.

Logged

"Captain, the buttocks are moving from the pink into the red and purple spectrum! We cannot maintain this rate of spanking any longer!"

You and all your heirs shall be listed in the dwarven chronicle from now until ragnarok (2012, we run out of ink...a long time). The name shall be a combination of the elements you mastered or endured and the means in which you mastered them. For example clan Goldenseal is credited with inventing the gold coin. Clan Oxpull relieved the siege of at Formidable Pass by taking wagons of supplies over the peak. You shall be known as (____________)

"Drink up my long legged friends, may your daughter's beards be full and your sons bent by their labor. For you now enjoy all the right of dwarven nobility."

31 - A jobIn his enterprise, a dwarven industrialist offers you the same position his very own children started in. Which means at the very bottom. While it may seem meager, one has to consider that young dwarves line up in queues hundreds long whenever he has an open spot. Really, all he does is offer a chance to learn a craft along with the very best.

33 - RelaxationWhat is better than an evening at the spa, with sauna, scented candles, warm stones, thermal springs and Gudrun, who can massage so well with those stocky hands of hers? Aaaah, that's the spot!

34 - Excitement!As honorary guests, you may take part in dwarven sports and win awesome prizes! Of course, dwarven sports are usually full contact, such as "Carry-the-pigskin-to-the-hole" and "battle royale" where dwarves beat each other senseless with stuffed leather bats.

Logged

"Captain, the buttocks are moving from the pink into the red and purple spectrum! We cannot maintain this rate of spanking any longer!"