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The only story I have is from when I was little. Back in the day, my family was trailer trash. And as with all trailers we had one bathroom. I was asleep one night and was dreaming that I was showering. While showering I heard a knock at the door and heard my little sister ask if she could go pee. I said sure. I then promptly peed my pants in reality.

Except I was finished when I snapped out of my sleep walk, so when Tizz said I pissed in the corner I said she was making stuff up (seeing as I didn't remember anything). I also said she was fucking crazy (I just woke up and I was wasted, so it seemed a logical reason for why she was making up crazy stories.)

Teehee, I was so angry. Not about the pissing per se, because well, he was sleep walking, and couldn't really help it. But when he said I was making it all up because I was fucking crazy, I was fuming.

Except I was finished when I snapped out of my sleep walk, so when Tizz said I pissed in the corner I said she was making stuff up (seeing as I didn't remember anything). I also said she was fucking crazy (I just woke up and I was wasted, so it seemed a logical reason for why she was making up crazy stories.)

Hilarious.

I had the same claim when I did it. I straight up called my roommate and a friend of mine liars. I wish people would believe me when I told them it was more lack of sleep and sleep walking then it was alcohol.

When one of my younger brothers was 10, he slept over me in a bunk bed. There was this strange fluid dropping on me in the night, but I did not pay attention to that since I was really sleepy. When I woke up I realized he peed himself and it was all over me too.

Yup, that is all I got.

Originally Posted by jsmak84

Burn it up because you do not call ignition ............ Because ignition is born green and then ripens and becomes burn it up, which is yellow, then darkens and becomes a song that has yet to be published and will appear in a collection of b-sides and brown nell'accezione this song is a song from the session discarded of ignition.

Okay this isn't a pee story per se but it happened last week and I think it needs to be told.
So, a guy I know is in a walmart buying some protein bars, face cream and other essentials. Since nobody thinks they will need a whole basket or a cart when entering walmart, he didn't grab one but ended up grabbing a bunch of stuff along the way. So hes waiting in line and of course its huge and he ends up dropping the face cream but since hes dropped it before at home (without breaking) he just picked it back up assuming it was fine. This "cream" is more like a white gel, so a couple minutes later he felt wetness on his hand, and he noticed the jar was cracked/leaking. Naturally, when you break something at a store you don't buy it so he went to put it back down some random aisle. When he walked out of the aisle, he was looking for something to wipe his hand on because it was covered in this stuff, he noticed a lady, with three little girls, give him the dirtiest look and shoo her kids in the opposite direction of him. So, walking across the store towards the home section to find a towel, thinking what a bitch, he catches a reflection of himself in a mirror, noticing that the white gel is not only on his hand but also all over the crotch of his pants!

Tatyana <3

Live fast cause if you don't take it, you'll never make it

Originally Posted by Dan M.

Sex is kinda like The Offspring. If you've never tried it, you'll ask yourself...what's so good about it? Once you do try it, you love it.

Since nobody thinks they will need a whole basket or a cart when entering walmart, he didn't grab one but ended up grabbing a bunch of stuff along the way.

I almost always get a cart no matter what I went in for. Repeating the same mistake over and over might be the worst kind of stupidity. This particular example bugs me because I know far too many people who never get a cart because they never think they'll need it, and of course they always end up needing it. And then the fuckers fill mine.

Originally Posted by IamSam

I then promptly peed my pants in reality.

Oh man, I hate that. That happened to me a few times in my teenage years. Except I would actually dream that I was in the bathroom using the toilet, and then be woken up by that momentarily pleasant sensation of warmth that quickly turns to absolute horror. I ended up conditioning myself to look around for reality confirming details before commencing the peeing, and somewhat surprisingly this worked. After that I would always wake up right before the urinary event horizon.

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.” – Bill Hicks