I swear we didn’t always look like that. 5 years ago, we looked like this:

goofier

We had more time to be goofy. Haha. Now, everything is just pretty much about the kids and planning for #3. Hummmm.

Digress a little. Was just nursing QT, and he smells like caramel. mmM…I could get used to smelling him a lot more than usual. Oh wait, it could be my hands after eating that caramel doughnut earlier. Either way, still smells awesome. =P

Donald and I managed to get some time to ourselves yesterday and decided to go have some teppanyaki at Shima as part of our anniversary celebration (hello eau de bbq). The rest of the time was spent walking and on a massage chair at Tangs. Hahah. Like wth right?

It was nice to go out without the kids, but..I missed my kids. I missed Ollie SO MUCH cos I didn’t see him for the entire day. Usually Donald handle’s Ollie’s breakfast whilst I get some snooze in on Saturdays with QT or I just laze about with QT on the bed, before my mil takes Ollie. When Ollie came back for the 15 minutes before he went off to my mom’s for the night, I couldn’t stop hugging and smelling him. OMG. And I think he missed me just as much cos he actually obliged all the kisses that I was smothering him with. =P

QT was fairly okay spending time with my mom for the arvo, but he burst out into the widest smile when he saw me enter the house.*heart melt* I was nursing him earlier, and he had dozed off on my chest. I couldn’t stop staring at him. And then this wave of nausea came over me. Not in a sick way, but in a emotional way. It is the way my brain tells me that I am afraid of something. And at the moment, I was afraid of losing my kids. Either of having them taken away from me, or them losing me. I’ve had this thoughts occasionally, and it scares the hell outta me. I imagined QT bawling his eyes out cos his mummy wasn’t around. And Ollie asking for me.

Eh, this is not about being thick-skinned hor. I know for sure that both my boys need me, especially emotionally. Excluding the time that QT was stuck in the Special Care Nursery after he was born, yesterday was the longest time I had been away from him. And I think I have not been away from him for a total of more than 24 hours since he came home from the hospital. With Ollie, no matter how harsh I am with him when disciplining, angry with him, he would rather cling to be than be comforted by anyone else. He will always want to snuggle back and be comforted by me.

So I decided. For their sake, I need to eat and live healthily. (Yar..tell that to the two doughnuts I’ve had today haha). Although my weight is lower than pre-pregnancy weight *brag brag brag ahem*, I’ve been eating really unhealthily. Maccas here, cookies & milk at night, eating out. Urgh. I really need to detox. And drink heaps more water!! I watched this Thai ad video on youtube about this mum running and jogging. It doesn’t tell you why she keeps jogging. It only shows that she needs to lose 20kgs. Then you finally realise that it was not for a health fad, or a suitor, or saving money for something, but it is because she needs to lose 20kg and be healthy so she can donate her organ to her son who is sick. *mad emo*

So yar, going to remain healthy not only so that I can live many more years down the road, but also to be healthy enough so I can help my kids if anything happens. You never know right??

Wah lao how did I digress to this point? Anyhoos, I can’t believe I’ve been with Donald for almost 10 years (he owes me something on our 10th year dating anniversary). My track record has been 2 weeks. So 9.5 years is a major thing. See, now you know how awesome you are to make me stick with you right? Just know as long as I am stuck with you, you’re good liao. =P

Thanks for supporting me and being my pillar. You’re more than a husband to me. You’re my doula (go find out what it is yourself okay, lazy bum).
You’re my best friend.
You’re my soulmate.
You’re an awesome father to my kids (very proud of how you’ve been dealing with Ollie lately!!)
You’re mine. =D