Photons have both inertial and gravitational mass (even though they have zero rest mass) and exhibit all the characteristics of material bodies. Electromagnetism is as material as breath, and an equally incredible candidate for the vital field.

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Sun in Gemini: You came into this life equipped with great curiosity, a lively, versatile, inquisitive mind, and an urge for constant learning and new experiences. Your most basic inner drive is to communicate, to make connections and association (between people or ideas), and to develop your gift for language and expressing yourself through the spoken or written word. Thus, Emily, being an intermediary or messenger, a translator, a teacher, a broadcaster, a correspondent, or in some field where you can mix and mingle and interact with a broad spectrum of people, suits you well. Fascinated by life’s seemingly endless variety and the multitude of options and choices available to you, you may flit from one person, job, hobby, or location to the next, restlessly seeking new experiences and stimuli. Even if you do not do this in your outward behavior, inwardly your mind is in constant motion, and you require a healthy dose of variation and mental or social stimulation in your life in order to approach anything resembling contentment. Skimming lightly over the surface of life, however, can lead to a shallowness of understanding and a fluttering away of your energies.

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Pandora’s Box. Russian Doll. The maze I got lost in when I was 4 years old.

This dream is similar to those things and experiences.

Woke up, by alarm, ordered body to drag itself out of bed, put contacts in, and the body followed orders. I woke up, realized the first dragging was an illusion and I was still under covers eyes closed and all. I dragged myself up out of bed. I woke up, I realized I twice dreamed the illusion of this moment and woke up, initiating morning routine, for real, unsuctioned my eyes from the resistance of a sea muscle, latching lids, did my morning routine. I woke up, realized it was an illusion. Realized I was dreaming illusions. Despite my dream determination, the inability to turn off this cyclic entrapment inside the dream persisted, repeating waking up and reawakening up and reawakening up until another alarm went off an hour later. I got up, and have yet to wake up again from this potential illusion of a dream morning.

Why was this dream an echo of itself? Before I fell asleep videotape streamed against the green screen that is inside of closed eyes, remembering my earliest memories, dreams and nightmares. Some memories I realized what felt like the first time since they occurred: a wild experience. I closed my eyes sometime after midnight, and when I reopened then it was 1:40 am, and all of those memories and emotions parachuting them had been running for about an hour. I recall smirking to myself, because I fall asleep to The Office to distract such distractions at night. I put on the office, Gay Witch Hunt (one of my all-time favorite episodes) and coaxed myself to sleep.

The philosophical statement and the concept of a fish fit into a common associative category, or at least, it feels like the two fit together better than they don’t fit together.

I’m still reading Memories, Dreams & Reflections by Carl Jung, and once again, a simple statement he made in passing warped my mind into a whirlpool. He was describing a dream of his with a fish which he referred to as “…an unconscious and mute fish…”

It seems strange to me that unconscious and mute were explicitly stated: both are implicit assumptions when conceptualizing a fish. From there my mind wandered, wondering if unconscious and mute were used to describe the fish as a literary function, like an inverted mirror, functioning to point out to the reader that the non-fish and human characters in the dream are vocal and conscious creatures.

When you stare out into the universe, the universe stares back; however, the sense or feeling of the universe staring back is elusive and evades all quantification and calculations that could prove this using the scientific method. Such is the way of transcendental beliefs and a test of spiritual resolve: faith is acknowledged in silence.

A fish underwater may stare at the surface, and from above one may stare back. However, the mute and unconscious fish does not know the presence as the presence knows it, sensing it yet not with a mutual understanding.

Infinity is two-sided. Staring into the universe is the infinite, and staring into the unconscious is infinitesimal: macro and micro representations of infinity.

Truth is constantly unfolding, and at this moment the above statement is my closest understanding in investigating my associate between the philosophical statement and the idea of a fish.

The following excerpt from Alan Schneider’s book Doors in Disguise builds on his discussion of the Creation Diagram. This diagram, shown on the left of the page, includes the seven major chakras and the triad, diad, and monad. In this excerpt, he relates this diagram with conscious existence.

Balance

Alan Schneider

One of the interesting characteristics which can be noted about the symbols on the Creation Diagram is the fact that they all display what the biological sciences refer to as radial symmetry, that is, they all are uniformly constructed around a central point. And the symbols of the Diagram can be said to be harmonically balanced around a common axis. In theory, a radially symmetrical element can be rotated around the central symmetrical axis up to the rate at which the material of which it is composed can no longer remain intact against the resultant centrifugal forces as these increase with that rate. At this point of transition, the element fragments, usually by exploding apart.

The symbols of the Creation Diagram are ideal forms and therefore are not subject to physical destruction. Their “rate of rotation” is shown as “zero” in order to clearly reveal their esoteric form to the Seeker. But in the manifest condition of dense form in the physical plane of expression, all of the symbols are always acting in rotation. This movement is the vibration of consciousness which we experience as the world. Consciousness can be characterized as an interactive vibration of complex physical, spiritual, and mental forms. This is directly related to the combined rates and direction of rotation of the Creation Symbols. When we observe any phenomenon, whether simple or complex, we are always “registering” a global recognition of that phenomenon’s composite vibration, which is composed of the interaction of all the rates and directions of rotation of all of the Creation Symbols which are active in the phenomenon’s consciousness expression. We may or may not be aware of this perception, but it is nonetheless occurring, and the Seeker can make great progress by focusing on the world of events in this way. Additionally, I feel constrained to mention here again that everything is a form of consciousness originating in the Tetragrammaton, even a common pebble, a speck of dust, or an atom.

“We are all free to live in illusion, and we are all free to Seek the Truth.”

Dying and reawakening was confusing because when I came back to (from a coma in the hospital), I remembered being dead and through trying to reconnect and capture the memory of my death, I began to a crew all meta-cognitive functions while still in my dream. My perspective shifted from first person to their person, where I saw my body, had seamless access to the thought inside that body that were simultaneously flowing in my mind, but I was a soul and had no finger to point at lack of body. I relived the scene of my death. I was lucid and I knew it.

The dream felt like a thousand years long. I chose to relive the scene of my death and the aftermath of the hospital and then revisit the scene of my death again to face my fears of going back.

The dream took me to the ocean. There was a log floating in the middle of the ocean where we (self, brother, and people who I have and do care about, past) were swimming and splashing and playing. People started to leap on top of the floating log and shuffle across, jumping before it vanished into the vanishing horizon’s drop off. I was alive and loving the admiration of wide sparkling eyes and up turned heads and the balance, speed, fearlessness and courage I challenged the task of the log with. Glowing, the admiration made me feel capable and I believed in my ability to soar. I went fast and fast across the lumber, saw there was an end to the horizon and while all the voices were shouting cautionary warning at me, I leapt and everything faded to black. Eternity. I vanished. I dissolved, I absolved, I dissipated, Everything I was and Nowhere and in no time I was particles drifting and humming on a melody with the ocean mist blowing where I desired, I was peaceful and peace.

I awoke in my drea in a hospital bed. My brother mom and dad were around me and I was confused and tired and in pain and like the IV attached to my arm, I gained memory slowly like dripping nutrients. They said I had been out for a long time and had gotten a concussion jumping over the edge of the oceans horizon. I said that’s not what happened, I had died and came back and jumped into the darkness and I floated. We returned to the scene of the incident, and I got back in the water. At this point I knew that I was dreaming and I relived the memory of my death (the dream repeated with meta-cognitive function and perspective). I was lucid and chose to stay in the scene and investigate its depth and beauty from all angles. I was in the ocean, just having awaken from a coma, and thought about why I came back here if I could go anywhere. I thought about the admiration for me courage that the others gave to me. I beamed. I loved that feeling, again. I relived it, again. I thought about the feeling of challenging borders and limits and the adventure f fearlessness against the body. I thrived and glowed. I was back for that, again. Is this ego Is this alive? whatever it was, I love that feeling, and I will chase it until the day I die. In the ocean again it was more difficult to swim as my limbs were weak. I called out for help and attention and there was a system of friend to support me and bring me to a boey. One person checked my legs to see if they were tired from treading water. They were not. I had reaffirmed my ability to continue on. I reached the horizon again and looked at it from al angels. My brother was there with me, beside me, the entire time. This time I saw that jumping over the edge may kill my body but I would not die. I exhaled salty ocean air and inhaled from sunshine. I awoke.

Edit: Walking home in the rain today. A red crack of a black light burst and ripped through the scene of for a millisecond, the illusion of the world, gray, bleak, wetness and slabs of cement sided with forrest and flowers, drained and disappeared. I look around me for passing cars or some easy explanation for the glitch. Answer sounded in rolling thunder about ten seconds after I begged the curious question. Like a jolt, forgotten fragments of the above dream revived their vision and reclaimed life from the hallows of buried memory. They go as follow: there were three distinct bodies of water in my dream. A) a swimming pool, where a girl I casually know shared her swim teams challenge, how she had to tread water for four hours after the race in order to be an elite racer on her swim team. B) the aquatics center I played in as a kid, with huge slides and pseudo-tidal waves and C) The Ocean, where my first attempt upon recording the dream narrative began.

A Synthesis of Research and Reading:

“[when] I became, the becoming became, I have become the becoming [the form] of Khepri who came into being on the First Time…

…when I became, the transformations became, all the metamorphoses coming to pass after I had become.”

-translated Lucy Lamy, Egyptian Mysteries, p.14

In hieroglyphic writing kheperrepresents not only the sacred scarab “but also all the metamorphoses or transformations of which it is the symbol, as wll as the idea of becoming, in general. The word kheperthus means “to become” in all possible verbal forms, while Khepriis the entity embodied in the sun as it rises in the morning, when darkness becomes light.” Lucy Lamy, Egyptian Mysteries, p.14 (Art and Imagination series, Thames and Hudson, 1981)

When all is said and done, the final Synthesis for this particular universe in general (and for this website in particular) is one of love.

Unconditional, Unlimited, Universally-Connected Love.

The Tree of Life

Diagram by Brad Reynolds, from Ken Wilber, A Brief History of Everything, (Shambhala: Boston), 1996.

Here we have a basic spiritual cosmology consisting of physical reality; intermediate or psychic reality; spiritual and Divine reality; and Absolute Reality or Godhead or Source. (see also the Three Tier Model, which is identical to the above except that it does not include Spirit/Infinite as a sperate hypostasis). As Professor Smith points out, each of these levels of reality can be studied separately:

“The marvels of the terrestrial plane are being unveiled at an astonishing rate by the physical sciences. The intermediate realm adds life and consciousness: biology helps to understand the former, and for light on the latter we turn to the durable findings of phenomenology, depth psychology, and parapsychology, as well as aspects of shamanism and folk religion. The theologies of the great traditions describe God’s knowable nature (the celestial plane) from a variety of cultural angles, and the literature of mysticism carries the mind as far as it can journey into God’s absolute and infinite depths” [ Beyond the Post-Modern Mind, p.45].

In this all-embracing gradational metaphysic, we have a way of looking at the world totally different to the conventional Materialistic or Dualistic stance. Borrowing a popular Theosophical term, I use the word “Esoteric” to indicate this alternative way of perceiving things.