Sharing how I truly feel about my Crohns and how I am responding to my circumstances makes me feel naked. I have spent my whole life hiding how I really feel from others, and pretending that I am not actually sick. But the truth is, writing this blog is a constant reminder of just how sick I am and how abnormal my life has become. It's scary to share what is going on in a very personal part of my life with others, because I am afraid people still won't understand, and I am worried that with that I am doing I still won't make a difference, and that terrifies me.As I share my story, I can no longer pretend that my life is just like everyone else's life and at times I can feel the stares of the people around me as they wonder, "how can she be as sick as she says she is." Well trust me I'm just as sick as I say I am and I've got the intestines to back that up. After 4 surgeries, I am missing 2 ft of bowel, have no ilesosecal valve and have various anastamosies: these things are not normal for a 20 year old college student. By the way I have no idea if I spelled any of those terms correctly, apparently my computer knows nothing about medicals things!I truly want people to understand what it is like to live with IBD. To understand how it affects you mentally, emotionally and physically, so I am going to try to be more honest, more real and probably therefor more offensive, but I'm not going to lie, poop isn't proper and Crohns isn't clean. Bottom line is that I am going to try to share more of the crappy details of my not so normal life.

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I've got 8 scars and am missing two feet of intestines and my life isn't normal, but whose life is normal? I want to use my experiences to help you, even if it means sharing embarrassing experiences. I am also looking to break the stigmas associated with IBD in order to make living with IBD just a little bit easier. Hope you enjoy!