Caz wrote:Pyracantha hedging Whitey, though it will be a few years before it's grown high enough to fully protect your garden. The police also suggested I put some of those plastic spikey things along the top of my fence, but if thieves want to get over that won't stop them.

I've already got a pyracantha in one corner and another large one in the middle, a large prickly conifer in the other corner, and several large shrubs along the length, but as you say, they take a while to form full cover.It's sad that you have to do this as i have a fabulous view when you are sat in the garden, it's a shame that it has got to be hidden just to protect yourself from the little *&^%$

Our neighbourhood watch copper said that we can't use glass or barbed wired on fences and walls. They recommended "prickle strip" which comes in 2m strips and looks like carpet gripper rod but not as vicious. The copper's reason was that if they chase someone through your garden and they jump over the fence, the police will follow and they'd get their hands and clothes ripped just the same as the burglar if barbed wire was used. My answer was "you've got to turn up to the call first!". That didn't go down too well.

The prickle strip is what they recommended I use. It would probably stop the garden hoppers but if someone really wanted to get over, I doubt it would stop them. A neighbour has some on their fence and I thought it was to stop the cats getting over! I guess it would work for that as well though!

Well if it's got anything to do with an electric fence you'd better read this. ELECTRIC FENCE AND A LAWN MOWERIf you have ever tangled with either, you will definitely get a chuckle out of this one!!!!!!This was experienced by a retired dentist. . . . . We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still.

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences.....but Dad always had those pieces of **** chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day.....he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created..I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire.. I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close...

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My nads are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???)..

That day changed my life. I now have a new found respect for things.. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Me slow??? I get up in the morning with nothing to do and go to bed at night with half of it done.

Actually, I think he's collaborating with Rolf to construct a UFO that will abduct any intruders.

This is by no means a new subject but there is something seriously wrong with our laws when they restrict the way we protect our own property. It's almost as if the law protects those who break the law. Law abiding people who work to afford nice things and and take pride in their property, can just have it all taken away by someone else. And before anyone else says anything, I'm not having a go at the local cops, they're just doing their jobs and upholding the stupid laws.

I've just been out onto the back garden and thought somebody had half hinched my patio furniture..... I then remembered I put it in the shed this afternoon.... at what age do senile moments begin? Caz you'd be able to answer that one for me!

Tomas Drouty wrote:I've just been out onto the back garden and thought somebody had half hinched my patio furniture..... I then remembered I put it in the shed this afternoon.... at what age do senile moments begin? Caz you'd be able to answer that one for me!

Senile moments generally start around the age of 29 1/2 years in men. :rofl: