Oprah was asked to describe her feelings today, on CNN, at news of Obama’s victory. Thank God, because Oprah doesn’t get enough air time to describe her feelings.

Pardon the cynical tone. But what a lot of all these talking heads crowing about history being made and the dawning of a new age of aquarius, let’s look at the dark side of this here presidential election.

First of all, it’s going to put 90 per cent of all punk, nu-metal and hardcore groups out of business. Without a failed rightwing dictatorship to rail against, what’s left? Big-box department stores? Violence in video games? America’s angry, sleeve-tattooed, youth will have to go into video game design.

Late-night talk show hosts are f****, too. Because, while I’m sure the Obama gov’t is going to have its share of follies, foul-ups, and gaffes, it’s not going to be anything like what we have been treated to on a 24-7 basis for the last eight years. Love him or hate him, Bush –with his sincerely wrinkled forehead, how-did-i-get-this-job smirk—was great entertainment. Unless Obama turns out to have a secret agenda to wipe-out little kittens and Australia, it’s going to be a love-in after he takes office.

And spare a tear for the gasbags on CNN. Sure, Lou “War on the Middle Class” Dobbs will be beating the same drum until every last illegal Mexican, Cuban and Norwegian has been deported, and Anderson Cooper will never be out of a job, but the pundits whose bread and butter has been a Machiavellian administration are going to have a lot less to soundbite each other about.

Nonfiction writers with a political axe to grind are SOL, too. Books about Bush, his policies, and his cronies has grown into its own mini-industry. You can’t walk into a bookstore without seeing a table piled high with serious-looking tomes purporting to tell the real story about Iraq. Actually, the Bush presidency might be the gift that keeps on giving, and it could be awhile before the craze dies down…

Okay, I’m running out of steam with this idea. A few observations, as a Canadian, specifically Vancouver, observer on the election. First, I thought it looked pretty funny at the gym about 4:30 p.m. yesterday (PST) at the gym, when everyone was craning their necks to look at the TVs mounted over the cardio equipment as the returns started coming in. I was expecting the Texas Twister to check out the action at a local brewpub, where American expats were said to be gathering to watch the bloodbath, but she ended up at our local pub instead while I watched a movie with my cousin. Appropriately, it was Tropic Thunder, which is pretty American, both intentionally and not. By the time she came home the news was in, and we went looking for a place to have a drink. However, all three places we tried in the neighbourhood had their sets tuned to poker (which, I guess, followed the hockey game), so disgusted we just came home. Maybe that’s the dark side of an Obama presidency… now, there’s really not much reason to stay in Canada.