Newington Mom Raises Money To Adopt Third Child With Down Syndrome

Nykki Poole has adopted two children with Down syndrome, Andrew, 4, left,… (STEPHEN DUNN|sdunn@courant.com )

November 29, 2013|By CHRISTOPHER HOFFMAN, Special to The Courant, The Hartford Courant

NEWINGTON — Nykki Poole has done what few others would ever venture.

The 41-year-old yoga instructor has adopted two children with Down syndrome, Andrew, 4, and Bodhi, 2. And now, she wants a third, a 2-year-old boy from Bulgaria whom she has tentatively named Elliott.

But Poole lacks the approximately $30,000 needed to adopt Elliott. Plus, she still owes money on a loan to pay fees for the adoption of one of her sons.

So Poole has turned to the Internet for help, She posted an ad on the crowd sourcing website gofundme.com. As of Friday afternoon, her appeal had netted more than $7,600.

Time, however, is of the essence, Poole said. In Bulgaria, abandoned and orphaned children are cared for in children's homes until they are 3 or 4, she said. Most kids are then sent to orphanages, but children with Down syndrome or other disabilities are put into institutions where they receive little care and stimulation and typically die within a few years, she said.

Elliott turns 3 in January, so Poole is racing the clock.

So why does Poole want to bring a third Down syndrome child into her family, specifically one from Bulgaria?

"I knew I had just enough energy for one more," she said. "I knew I could do one more and still maintain life. My kids, if they didn't come to me, they would have gone to another family. But the kids in Bulgaria will die and not only will they die, they will suffer before they die."

Poole has already filled out paperwork and is awaiting immigration clearance any day to bring Elliott to America. But she still needs the money for fees and travel.

Poole talked about her unlikely road to motherhood Friday morning inside her recently bought Newington condominium. A former professional dancer, Poole is stenciled with tattoos, including one of the Down syndrome chromosome sequence on her back.

As Poole talked, her two boys ate snacks, cuddled with their mother and climbed over furniture.

"The differences are very small between having a typical child and a Down syndrome child," Poole said. "They're still toddlers that swing off couches and get embarrassed when they fall down in front of strangers."

For Poole, her children are the same as other kids: every child has abilities, goals and expectations. Her kids' are just more modest, she said.

"I'm not naïve," she adds. "There's going to challenges when you're 15. No matter whether they have Down syndrome or not, when a child starts to mature, it's a crazy experience. You just have to be willing to go through the ups and downs."

Poole's unlikely road to special needs adoption began in the late 2000s when she was facing a long wait to adopt a child form Haiti. Frustrated by repeated delays, a friend mentioned to her the possibility of adopting a Down syndrome baby.

"I never thought about adopting a Down syndrome child," she said. "I put my name on the list."

In 2009, Poole got a call: a couple that had agreed to adopt a new born baby withdrew when the child was born with Down syndrome. Poole agreed to take the baby, whom she named Andrew.

Then in 2011, another opportunity came up. A woman was giving birth to fraternal twins, one with Down syndrome and one without. A single mother, she felt she couldn't handle both children.

So Poole agreed to adopt her second boy, Bodhi.

"I was there when he was born," she said. "They handed him right to me when he came out. I just knew at the moment he was my son."

Poole maintains contact with both sets of birth parents, who visit regularly, she said.

Poole wants her example to lead others to adopt Down syndrome children, especially those like Elliott in Bulgaria who face such bleak futures.

"I don't want people to look at me like I've done something special or great," she said. "What I want is for people to be inspired to do the same thing."

Visit http://www.gofundme.com/2wlkpc for more details on Poole's effort to adopt a third son.