Fight Night 45 was one of the most violent non-Fight for the Troops cards in UFC History, featuring an astounding nine finishes, 8 TKOs, and a six fight main card that not once required a judge’s input. My decision to spend most of the night ranting about Microsoft tech support notwithstanding, I thoroughly enjoyed what the card had to offer, from the prelim fights all the way up to the main event, which saw Donald Cerrone finish the damn-near unfinishable Jim Miller *twice* in their two round banger.

In one of those aforementioned prelim fights, Leslie Smith destroyed Ronda Rousey training partner (as she was introduced by Jon Anik) Jessamyn Duke in the first round, finishing her with a flurry of body shots, kicks, and knees that was Liddell vs. Ortiz-esque in terms of its volume. But it was only matter of time before the excuses started flying, and luckily, Duke’s training partner, Shayna Baszler, is here to jump on that grenade.

“For everyone asking, @jessamynduke broke her hand. Didn’t know what to do once Leslie turned it on when she couldn’t grab and circle off,” Baszler posted on Twitter shortly after the fight.

While I would disagree that Duke’s inability to circle off was less the cause of her demise than her inability to use her massive reach advantage to her…uh…advantage, the above photo posted to Duke’s instagram seems to indicate that her hand was indeed broken to shit. You can check out a few other photos of Duke’s hand over at the UG, but really, this comment by UG’er rrefs sums up Duke/Baszler’s excuse perfectly…

Instead, Sonnen partook in a rushed interview that not only failed to beat the ESPN story out of the gate, but left as many questions as it answered. Mohr also chimed in at one point that Sonnen should use the next 30 days before his hearing to get “loaded up on steroids,” so there’s that to look forward to as well.

Sonnen’s statement, along with a full transcription (via MMAFighting) is after the jump.

“This is all a big confusion. Everything I’ve heard, I heard it just like you, from the Internet. Last Saturday, a guy showed up at my gym with several papers in English saying that I had to sign the papers. I asked him if all the documents were written in English and he said yes. He did not show me any identification. So I told him that I can’t read English very well and I would need my lawyer present to able to sign any documents. Then I had to leave since it was the day of Barao’s fight and I was very busy here in Vegas.

“In 20 years of career and 50 professional fights, I never refused to test or failed to apply for a license to fight. My fight will be in Las Vegas on July 5, so we were more than one month from the fight. And my plans were to do all of my obligations once I get back from Brazil since I’m going to Brazil for the TUF Brazil Finale. Once I am back in Las Vegas I will reach out to the NSAC to submit myself to any blood or urine test like I always have done. [Ed. note: Oh, so he wanted to do the drug test *after* he got back from Brazil? Makes perfect sense to me. Give this man his license!]

As Jones claims in a new interview with Newsday‘s Mark LaMonica, a member of Jones’s social media team sent the messages from his account, possibly unwittingly, and this all happened while Jones was in fact trying to get a new phone, because he lost his old one, though that had nothing to do with the alleged “hack.” Got it? From the Newsday article:

Jones said he was at the store that day getting a new phone, and Kawa couldn’t reach him. Kawa said that when he finally did get through to Jones, he asked Jones if he wrote the offensive comments. Jones had no idea what Kawa was even talking about, he said. Kawa then sent Jones screengrabs of what had been posted to his Instagram account…

UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones caused quite a stir on social media last night when he apparently fired a barrage of homophobic slurs at a Swedish kid named Daniel Javid. After Javid dared to question Bones’s recent statement that he has more heart than Alexander Gustafsson, Jones — or somebody operating his account — went through Javid’s photos and left comments such as “Fag shit,” Fag boys,” and “Homosexuality is a sin.” Jones then posted a selfie as if nothing out-of-the-ordinary had happened.

The official explanation from Jones’s manager Malki Kawa is that his phone was stolen, and someone else was posting those comments without his knowledge. (Don’t worry, Jones already got a new phone.) Whether or not you believe that excuse probably reflects how you feel about Jon Jones in the first place. Do you believe that Jones is openly homophobic and lacks the self-control to keep his opinions to himself? Anecdotes like this certainly don’t help his case. Or, do you believe Kawa’s story, because it would be insane for a UFC superstar to go off like this in public? I’m inclined to lean towards the latter, but who knows?

We’ll update you if and when the UFC releases a statement about this incident.

As a longtime fan of German spin-kicker/liver-destroyer Dennis Siver, I was more upset than most to learn that he had failed his UFC 168 drug test for a testicle-preserving banned substance often used in post-steroid cycles. Shocked no, because just look at the dude, but upset nonetheless. And being that we are currently living in the era of shirked responsibility, Siver has now come forth to place the blame on his nutritionist, while simultaneously claiming that his positive test is no one’s fault but his own.

Today I would like to issue a public statement and give my fans and supporters the opportunity to form their own opinion on how the alleged doping allegations against me came about.

Last fall, my coach Niko Sulenta was diagnosed with severe cancer, which lead to me being on my own during the preparations for a UFC fight for the first time, without me being able to draw on his longstanding care and advice. Niko has always been essential to my weight reduction.

So prior to UFC 168 I had to hire an external personal trainer and nutritionist to support me with making weight. The nutritionist recommended me a new diet method from the US, which had been successfully used by the stars.

UFC fighter Chael Sonnen had several inches of his colon removed during emergency surgery on Nov. 15 — one day before his first-round loss to Rashad Evans at UFC 167. Sonnen confirmed that he had the procedure during a taping of TSN’s Off The Record on Wednesday, after host Michael Landsberg revealed that a source told him about it.

“It’s a little bit of a surprise that you had that information,” replied Sonnen when asked whether he had undergone surgery.

Despite the medical emergency, Sonnen did not withdraw from the scheduled matchup in Las Vegas on Nov. 16 and was defeated in a first-round TKO.
“When I sign a contract to fight, I’m agreeing to fight a guy on a certain day at a certain time and in a certain venue,” he continued. “It’s my job to feel good when I go out and do it and if I don’t that may play a hand in the fight.”

Miguel Torres‘s loss to journeyman Pablo Alfonso at WSOF 6 on Saturday marked the third consecutive defeat for the former WEC bantamweight champ, and raised some harsh questions about Torres’s performance and future prospects. Namely: Bro, how you gonna get your ass kicked by a dude who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page? Even we have one of those.

Unsurprisingly, Torres has an interesting explanation for why he was choked out three minutes into what was essentially a rebound fight. As he wrote on Facebook after the match:

Was told by WSOF I could wear my spats, got my knee brace approved by commission, felt great and was on point warming up. Was in blue corner and was already in the cage about to fight then told by ref I had to leave and change into shorts. Had to sprint 100 yards there, look for shorts, then sprint back. Was not expecting that, threw my mind off and I didn’t execute in my fight. I apologize to all my training partners and students and especially my daughter. I make no excuse and take this lose personally and with full responsibility, I am better than what I showed today. Congrats to Pablo and his team, may they enjoy their night. See everyone in the gym on Monday, so sorry everyone.

(You just *knew* that eventually Seagal would break down and rub some BBQ sauce on those suckers while Anderson was sleeping.)

Not that Anderson Silva is making excuses for his upset loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162 or anything, but Anderson Silva is totally making excuses for his loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162. And not only that, he’s using the exact same ones that he did after UFC 117. Turns out, it wasn’t an unbridled sense of arrogance or an inflated ego that led to Anderson getting KO’d, it was his ribs! Three cheers for logic! (via MMAFighting):

It was good that you mentioned this because I was really hurt. Nobody mentioned this yet (Ed note: Probably because your camp denied it), but that’s not an excuse for my performance. It was a below where I was injured for my first fight with Chael Sonnen. That’s it. I was at 85 percent of my physical condition. I can’t talk about this because anything I say can be used against me. It’s in the past. I’m okay-

He was essentially homeless. He was financially completely bankrupt. I remember I had to lend Chris thousands of dollars out of my own pocket just to keep him solvent while he’s preparing to fight Silva. And his life was essentially in chaos. One day when people know the full story of what happened, I’m not kidding when I say this, it’s like a goddamn Hollywood movie. It’s Rocky Balboa. It’s insane. The guy had nine fights. Bankrupt. Homeless. With a completely broken shoulder.

I’m sorry, Anderson, you were saying something about only being in the B to B+ range physically on fight night? Anderson? (*armpit farts into mic*)

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”