The Pakistani actress, a big reality TV star in Indian, alleges FHM India used photo manipulation to digitally remove her panties. She wants an apology and $2 million dollars. We want a machine that actually does remove panties.

If this sounds a little unusual, remember that this is Pakistan: Malik has received death threats from terrorist groups, including Al Qaeda, and her loving, supportive father has stated she should be thrown in jail. If it does turn out she did a nude photo shoot, there’s actually a chance she could be thrown in jail, banned from the country, and even have her citizenship revoked.

FHM India, for its part, claims that it has video proving she was naked the entire time, but is keeping it under wraps for public morality reasons. They are probably hiding it the same place they keep the machine that removes panties.