Non-Conventional Wisdom I Got From Mom

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about the important life lessons that I’ve learned from my mom. To date, there have been many. She’s imparted wisdom on love, education, friendship, career, and just about everything else under the sun. Most of these gems fall into the “everything else” category, so I present a few of my favorite, completely impractical “mom-isms” that have served me well.

Always have a bottle of wine on hand.

This one may seem obvious, but actually has a couple of different reasons behind it. Sure, it’s always wonderful when you can pull a bottle of Riesling out of your fridge after a particularly awful day and just go to town. However, my lovely mother promotes wine possession for just-in-case purposes. You know, like just in case your cool new coworker with BFF potential invites you over for a Friday night dinner party, or just in case you decide to make some killer chicken piccata that calls for a few splashes of white wine. With at least one bottle on the premises at all time, you’ll never be stuck in a jam. Who knew that vino could be so practical?

Treat your purse like your second home.

No doubt about it, I’m a purse hoarder, and I blame my mother. Money, receipts, jewelry, food items (wrapped — I’m not a monster!) … they’re all in there. However, the most important item? A tissue (or three). I learned over the years that it pays to carry some sort of absorbent material with you at all times, and my mom instilled that in me early on in life. How many times have you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and go, “WHAT IS THAT ON MY NOSE?!” just as you’re cornered by your crush, or boss, or someone else super-important that does not appreciate your booger shenanigans. Sure, it’s still awkward to wipe your nose in front of them, but it’s much more awkward to have an entire conversation where both of you are trying to ignore the gross reality. This might be an extreme case, but you never know when you’re going to spill a little coffee on your desk or need a makeshift napkin for that afternoon snack, either. Thanks, Mom!

When in doubt, dance it out.

Whether I’m sad, mad, or just plain grumpy, the first thing I do is crank up the hip-hop and go nuts for about 10 minutes. My dear ol’ mom has always been an advocate of the dance party, and taught me that it can do wonders to turn your whole mood right around. She’d probably frown upon me twerking to raunchy rap, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. By the time I’m tired out from shakin’ what she literally gave me, I’ve forgotten whatever I was upset about in the first place.