Wednesday, October 30, 2013

In keeping with our goal of offering techniques to folks to
get out of situations where they are being “creeped on,” and with Halloween
coming up and the chance for costumes hiding identities, we wanted to offer
some suggestions on extricating yourself from uncomfortable situations.

Remember that being in this situation is not your
fault. You did not do anything wrong, it is the person who is making you
uncomfortable that is to blame.

Some options that can help you escape are: a trip to the
bathroom, getting a drink, or by letting the person know you want to go talk to
a friend you just saw.

If the person follows you to the bathroom, getting a drink,
etc, it may be time to resort to these more direct suggestions.

Other suggestions:

Talk to them - If someone's conversation makes you
uncomfortable, tell them. By not telling them, you're attempting to make them
feel comfortable and you need to ask yourself this: why? Why should you remain uncomfortable just to
avoid awkwardness? The situation
is already awkward, and telling someone you're uncomfortable
isn't cause for anger or further dispute. "We've been talking for a while,
and I really want to see some other people here." The key is to be assertive without being mean.

“Let me stop you there.” One of the techniques I’ve seen
work very well is to hold up your hand making a stopping motion and say “Let me
stop you there,” when confronted with a topic that makes you
uncomfortable. You can follow that with "I am uncomfortable discussing X Topic, can we talk about the weather, the
football game, insert new topic here.”
Most people are understanding and will switch topics.

Signals – Many women (and men) may feel uncomfortable in
situations where they find themselves alone.
Because of this, feel free to take a buddy with you. You can pre-arrange a signal with your
friend, a wave, a look at a watch, or something that signals them to come help
you out. Your buddy can then give you an
opportunity to leave.

Last thought, never be afraid to walk away. If someone is making you uncomfortable and
none of these tactics have worked, say thank you for their time and walk
away. Leave the space. Remember you did nothing wrong and it is okay
to leave a situation that makes you uncomfortable.

About Nerdiquette 101

Nerdiquette 101 is a movement founded by three women who all had egregiously bad "that guy" encounters at a science fiction convention in 2012.

Our main goals are:1. Teach the teachable. Some people don't realize that they're being creepy or rude. We want to help them understand that they need to change their behavior.

2. If you're being creeped on, we have techniques to help you get out of uncomfortable situations.

3. We encourage people who are physically assaulted to alert concom (con committee) security and if necessary, hotel security, and/or police.

4. We encourage concoms to both have comprehensive anti-harassment policies and to take complaints of assault or harassment seriously. And no, just printing "Don't be a jerk" as a random rule in your list of "Rules of the Con" doesn't count as "comprehensive."