Does Flirting Lead to Cheating?

Does Flirting Lead to Cheating?

Even when in a committed relationship, some degree of flirting is perfectly normal. Of course you’re going to blush when the cute guy who works on the 12th floor comments that you have a beautiful smile. You may even flirt back because it makes you feel good to be noticed. These scenarios play out every day — and they are mostly for fun.

Flirting makes many of us feel young, attractive and on our A-game. After all, flirting is a huge part of the mating dance, and being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can never partake in a smattering of innocent flirting.

Innocent, however, is the operative word. As evolved humans, the pre-frontal cortex in our brains helps us decipher risk from reward. So the key is to utilize your brain, keep the flirting light and lively, and then, as quickly as it started, let it go. If you play it this way, no harm, no foul.

If you discover that you are someone who has a deep-rooted need to flirt, or become upset if someone isn’t flirting with you, that can be a sign that something is broken in you or your relationship. Constant flirters often have buried insecurities and seek out the attention of others in order to feel good about themselves.

Additionally, they may be in a relationship or marriage that is lacking in connection, intimacy and sex, so they look for others to fill their emptiness. Persistent flirters have lax boundaries, so often what begins as flirting can evolve into a full-blown affair. Little good and a lot of drama results from that scenario.

The bottom line on the eye batting — unless you are single and looking to meet someone or simply want to have some fun, keep it real simple, and then quickly move on.

Rachel Sussman is a relationship expert and author of the "The Breakup Bible." For more info, visit RachelASussman.com.