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Lessons learned from mother=

My parents raised all us kids, there were seven, to think for ourselves and be responsible for our actions.

They had their hands full, but Mom, Ethel Sullivan, provided a tenacious influence and guidance, as Dad was so busy working, making the farm successful during the Great Depression years.

Although there was a 19-year spread between the oldest and youngest, we siblings, remained quite close, even as adults with families of our own.

Much of that can be attributed to Mom's subtle orchestration and persistence to traditions. So penetrating was her objective, that we as kids hardly noticed the impact in spirit and texture to our lives and substance of love and warmth to each other.

It was a long time ago and I'm sure to have forgotten most of the traditions, but some remain clear in my mind to this date.

The daily tradition I most vividly recall, was sharing dinner together as a complete family. It was always late in the evening, as there were cows to milk and feed beforehand. The meal always began with grace, with spontaneous dinner chatter to follow with all participating.

Sundays were "church days." We were always encouraged to go to Sunday services, but never demanded to do so. However, suggested alternatives to church would generate "that look" in Mom's eye and usually reconsideration seemed the most sensible action.

I remember Mom's door frame in the kitchen, where she kept rough pencil lines marking off the heights of the kids as we grew. Initially, the tradition was to take the measurement on birthdays. But with the addition of grandchildren and great grandchildren, the birthday feature was abandoned, as not to disappoint visiting kids who wanted their mark to posterity recorded on that border. That door frame remained intact until the house was demolished after Mom's passing.

To celebrate our family's Irish heritage, on Christmas Eve Mom would serve oyster soup. It is said that the tradition started by the Irish immigrants who fled the potato famine in the mid-1800s.

Since they were accustomed to a Christmas Eve stew containing ling fish, which was not available, the Irish substituted oysters, a delicacy of similar taste.

Even though I wasn't too terribly fond of oyster soup, I remember being really proud of our family's rather unique tradition.

The Fourth of July was our most tradition-rich holiday as it included our extended family: grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and close friends. Mom's meal seldom varied: fried chicken, freshly picked field corn, green salad and an abundance of ice cream, all home-grown or homemade. Fireworks, always provided by one of my more prosperous uncles, would end a very festive and memorable day.

There is so much about Mom for which I am thankful, and her insistence on keeping traditions ranks near the top.

Although we didn't recognize it during our formative years, they inspired my siblings and me to know and trust each other and create a bond that came from knowing that we were a part of something unique and very special.

Jerry Sullivan, Visalia

A spirit that never stopped

My mother's name is Molly McGhee-McCoy. Mom did her best to raise her seven children to be "well-behaved."

Unfortunately, her children were McGhee's…outspoken, quick tempered, loud, especially when arguing, so "behaving" kind of got lost from time to time around the house.

I learned from Mom that "if you are going to do something then do it right, not half way." Mom was barely 5 feet tall but that never stopped her from getting things done. She worked like a whirlwind and it was not easy keeping up with her. She had her first child at age 15, her last at age 25. Her work at home included cooking, cleaning, mending clothes, washing laundry for a family of nine, nursing sick kids, chauffeuring, and the yard work. We all had some chores to do but none of us held a candle to Mom.

Molly McGhee-McCoy with her children(Photo: Submitted)

Mom's idea of clean was spic and span!! I remembering her telling me that "it doesn't matter if you live in a beautiful house or a tent there is no excuse in not keeping it clean!"

I wished I could say that my house is kept spic and span…. I really do wish that. Sorry Mom.

Mom's life taught me to make sure that I could take care of myself. Being the wife of a truck driver she learned over time to become more independent and resourceful and a few years after I was born she started working outside the home to help supplement the income for extra things.

Oh yes I forgot to mention that she sewed most of my school clothes from Kindergarten through high school. I must confess that while Mom did try to teach me to sew I never learned to do it well.

Later during her second marriage, she planted large vegetable gardens, raised hogs, chickens, rabbits, turkeys, peacocks, and even a goat (my kids always put chocolate in the goat's milk to make it taste better). She had quite a green thumb and could grow most anything. I personally found succulents easy to grow and Mom was so happy that I finally found something that could thrive around me.

Molly McGhee-McCoy, mother to Barbara Kane(Photo: Submitted)

However the most important lessons I learned from my mother oddly enough came during the final years of her life. In 2006, I became her advocate and helpmate whenever she needed me to be and later on I was responsible for overseeing the care of Mom during the final years of her life.

We had a lot of time over the years to talk during the many car trips that we took; doctor visits, shopping, church, visiting friends, driving around checking out old haunts that she remembered or forgotten or just sitting outside for hours on the lanai at Twin Oaks.

During her last couple of years it became hard for her to accept that she needed help as she was so used to being the one giving it. It was even harder for her to not remember things, not to have total control over decisions that needed to be made (boy that was hard for her, made her angry), and eventually she became fearful, not feeling safe unless I was there with her. My mother and I had come full circle.

Molly McGhee-McCoy, seated with her daughter, Barbara Kane on the occasion of the elder woman's 93rd birthday.(Photo: Submitted)

What did my mother teach me? So many things but ultimately she taught me what I hold most dear —the privilege and honor to be there for her, doing for her as she had done for me all those many years in my younger life.

My mother passed away Oct. 8, 2014 at the age of 93. The last lesson that she taught me was that even though she is gone she will always be here with me in spirit, that every day is Mother's Day in memory, and that as a mother she is indeed a hard act to follow.

Barbara Kane, Visalia

A hard-working mother

How can I start to write about my mother, Alicia Castellanoz?

She was the oldest daughter of 17 children. You might say she was the "second mother" to her sisters and brothers. Her parents, Joe and Dominga Castellanoz, had lost a son to the Korean War.

Grieving so, my grandmother could not even do cooking, laundry or bathe her children she was in such grief over the loss of her son, Lusio Ahumada.

Pampers? Microwave? Kraft Mac & Cheese? Are you kidding?

Handwash, hand dry from the clothesline, heat hot water on the wood-fed stove. Cast iron pots and pans — talk about your daily work out.

Today's young people cry about having to cook, clean, get up to feed a crying baby — one.

My mother took care of all her siblings all at once, bathing each in a metal tub, pouring hot water for her crying siblings who refused, at times, not wanting to take their baths.

She was a girl, herself — young, tired and needed to care for herself also, get ready for school.

I am her oldest daughter, her first child. A boy didn't live past two days.

We laugh that she had me toilet trained before I could walk. She had plenty of practice before I came along.

My father, John G. Arriola, worked a ranch on the west side of Tulare. My brother and I lived the life of big fields as our backyard. What fun!

My mother was amazed at how shiny our patent-leather shoes and boots got when we would jump in the cotton trailer to "pack" down the cotton. It was like we had brand new shoes. It was the cottonseed oil, of course — the fluffy cotton that had shined our shoes.

My mother to this day still makes her hot tortillas from scratch, not store bought.

Her grandchildren and great grandchildren fight to get the tortilla that had her hand print that would show up on it as she would place it on the hot comal (griddle). That same hand print to some naughty grandchildren that would get out of line — adults, now and still talking about how gram had the "sting" that they felt.

Mind you, she took care of her siblings and she knew how and when you needed discipline.

We all got it — not mean, but well deserved when we thought no one was looking. It didn't happen very often as one or two times was enough.

My mother is the matriarch of her family. She very much respected by all of her family — a very very large family now.

My mother sacrificed parts of her life even though she would not admit to calling it that — she would call it responsibility. The right and proper thing one must do.

So much to say about her, the full year "living" at KDH with my father dying from cancer.

I am the oldest, brother John, 10 years down the road my sister Teresa.

Life has taught us lessons each in a different experience in our life but no one can argue that my mother is a well-respected woman in our family and in her siblings' lives.

Maria Elena Grijalva

Good morning merry sunshine

A tribute to my beautiful mom Ruth Johnson

How do I begin to explain the priceless lessons I have learned from my beautiful mother?

I was born and raised in Idaho. As I grew older, I realized we were poor.

Ruth Johnson, center, with her husband, the late Lew Johnson, pose with their grandchildren in 1985 in Tulare.(Photo: Submitted)

Happiness is a lesson I learned. She was always happy singing and humming everyday. She greeted us five kids every morning with "Good morning merry sunshine."

To make do with what we had, my mom would bake bread and the house smelled so good. Sometimes that's all we had to eat. But I felt love so it seemed enough.

She appreciated beauty all around us. She had a quilt we would put on the grass and tell stories and enjoy flowers, the moon, clouds and stars. Making dandelion necklaces and telling stories was so fun for me.

She loved to work. I learned to cook, sew, do laundry and feed our animals. I loved it so much.

She instilled the love of the land. She taught me I was a daughter of God and my heavenly father loved me. My mom is the most Christ-like person I know.

Ruth Johnson, left, and her daughter, Pat Reynolds, right, pose with Santa Claus 10 years ago at Target in Visalia where Reynolds worked for 23 years.(Photo: Submitted)

I married my husband, Joe Reynolds, and we settled in Central California. We were blessed with nine beautiful children. We have been married 50 years.

Selfless service to others. She came every day to help me with my children, always with a smile on her face.

In our life, we suffered the loss of two of our children and a daughter-in-law in two separate accidents, Laura in 1985 and Jason and Tanya in 1998.

Without my mom's solid strength and unconditional love I really don't think I could have done it. She always assured me "Patty, you can do this," she said. "Your children are OK."

Ruth Johnson, left, looks at her granddaughter, the late Laura Reynolds, during her eighth grade graduation party in 1983 in Tulare. Laura was killed by a drunk driver in 1985.(Photo: Submitted)

My mom has had Alzheimer's for 11 years. She doesn't really know me, however, she radiates beauty and faith. She loves for me to brush her hair and hold her hands.

I talk of her with my 26 grandchildren. Joyfully, I see her qualities continuing in their eyes. Thus her legacy continues.

Pat Reynolds, Tulare

Mother's Day activities

Children honor Mothers with the first weekly craft at the Tulare County Library branches. The May crafts for each week are:

May 11 through 16 – Piñata and Tissue Paper Flowers

May 18 through 23 – Tulip Flowers

May 25 through 30 – Fish Kites

These crafts are held at different times each week at the Alpaugh, Earlimart, Exeter, Ivanhoe, Lindsay, Orosi, Springville, Strathmore, Three Rivers, Tipton and Woodlake branch libraries.

For more information on days and times of the crafts at each individual branch, please go to: http://tularecountylibrary.org, and choose the locations tab.