Introduction

The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

There are three surefire ways to spot a Texan in Colorado ski country. One, he’s the guy trying to order a Corona Light in the local microbrewery. Two, he and his posse are standing smack dab in the middle of a ski run, just below the crest of a hill. And three, he looks like a raccoon at the end of a day on the slopes.

The UV Index on the high altitude slopes of the Rockies is frequently at a high or extreme level. And those intense UV rays are reflecting off that white powdery stuff we so love to ski on. Consequently, you can get your face fried in only a few minutes of unprotected exposure. Even on a cloudy day. So even if you are a Texan and are proud of it, try to at least act like a local and wear your sunscreen. And try one of those microbrews-- you just might find out what beer tastes like.

I’ll end this PSA with a new version of AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”…

You do the snowplow and you want it gone/huh, huh, huh, huhBut you ain't got the guts/huh, huh, huhIt keeps naggin' at you night 'n' day/huh, huh, huh, huhEnough to drive you nuts/huh, huh, huh, huhSlap on the ‘screen, that sun is mean/huh, huh, huh, huhIt's time you saved a tan/huh, huh, huh, huhFor a fee, doc’s happy to beYour Black C man, hey

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I hope that someday, somehow, melanoma will reach a “N.E.D.” status among the general public-- that is, “no evidence of denial”. No denial that melanoma really is cancer and that it’s quite deadly if not detected in its early stages. No denial of the breakable link between melanoma and excessive UV ray exposure, particularly from tanning beds. And no denial that melanoma is one of the Hotel Carcinoma’s ‘forgotten stepchildren’ when it comes to funding treatment research.

The “someday” part of the dream is largely beyond our control. But the “somehow” most certainly is not. It’s up to all of us who’ve already checked into the Hotel Melanoma to learn a lesson or two from the Pink Nation and speak out. Loudly and repeatedly. Even if we sometimes annoy those who are still in denial. And without apologizing for our advocacy. (Has any pink cancer awareness campaigner ever apologized to you for doing what they do?) Together, we can make it happen.

Once again showing my age, I’ll leave you with a new version of Chicago’s “Dialogue”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWODczdgGDQ

Are you optimistic ‘bout the way tans are slowing? No, I never ever think of it at all

Don’t you ever worryWhen you see who’s getting browned?

No, I try to mind my business, that is, no business at all

When it’s time to function as a reeling cancer beingWill your endorsement from Oz help you get by?

I hope to deny further, a few more years or soI also hope to keep a steady fry

Will you try to change thingsUse the power that you have, the power of a million warrior pleas?

What is this power you speak of and this need for things to change? I always thought that leather skin was fine

Don’t you feel tan sessions just calling C around? No, the UV’s here are very good for me

Don’t it make you angry that C’s war is dragging on? Well, I thought the evidence showed that C’s cured now, I don’t know

Don’t you ever see devastation from the UV’s salons giveAll the needless cancer, all the needless pain?

I haven’t been checked lately, my health is just so fineAnd my friends they don’t seem worried cause they haven’t caught black’s crime

Thank you for the talk, you know you really eased my mindI was troubled by the shapes of things to come

Well, if you had my outlook your feelings would be numbYou’d always think that every tan was fine

We can make it happenWe can change the world nowWe can save the childrenWe can make it betterWe can make it happenWe can save the childrenWe can make it happen

Friday, January 20, 2012

I’m headin’ south of the border for a few days of much-needed warmth and ocean breezes, and I’m certain I’ll witness some fright sights on the beach that will provide inspiration for future blog posts. Adios amigos, and I’ll sign off with a new version of Jimmy Buffett’s “Cheeseburger In Paradise”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJi4bln-hHQ

Try to amend my sun-vivious habits.Bloggin’ from those 70’s days,Livin’ great in slow speed, beatin' sun power’s greed,Wearin' lots of SPF and hidin' from rays.

But at times I crave these wonderful scenesSome kind of ocean retreat.Some sunscreenie, thong bikinis, Dos Equis, With a big warm sun and a huge hunk of beach.

’Screened boomer in paradise.Heaven on earth without tanning vice.Not too articulate, not too concise.I'm just a ‘screened boomer in paradise.

Tired of all those old time cancer meds,Docs treat the same way again and again;New stuff instead docs said could make me dead.Well, it reminds me of the menu at the MDA Inn.

But times have changed for paler these days.When docs report I get what I need;No more cisplatin or vinblastin or fat IVs,Just that optimistic prognosis on which I feed!

’Screened boomer in paradise, medium rare just wouldn’t be niceHeaven on earth without tanning vice.I'm just a ‘screened boomer in paradise.

I do fine with SPF all overMine’s fifty-something and paid lots of dough forAbnormal freckles aren’t this old boy’s cheerWell, good god Almighty sun rays do I fear

For I’m a ‘screened boomer in paradiseMakin' the best of every virtue and vice.Worth every damn bit of sacrificeTo be a ‘screened boomer in paradise;To be a ‘screened boomer in paradise.I'm just a ‘screened boomer in paradise.

I don’t mind I’m whiter than potatoPast 57 and I still don’t fate knowThis cancer’s fickle and it’s cost me dearWell, good god Almighty sun rays do I fear

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A whole lot of folks at the Hotel Melanoma are waging a grassroots awareness campaign to warn teens and twenty-somethings about the risks of excessive UV ray exposure. Some are active in lobbying for state legislation to ban tanning bed use by minors. But sometimes we’re just a little bit apologetic about it and express the concern that we’re “annoying” friends and acquaintances with our melanoma-related facebook posts and shared links.

I don’t recall anyone associated with the NFL apologizing about splashing the playing field with pink last October. Did they annoy me just a bit? Yes. Should they care? No.

I know that some people I know think I should’ve “moved on” by now since I’m “cured” and all, but they’re just gonna have to live with it or block my posts. Because I’m not going to shut up.

I’ll leave you with a new version of The Who’s “Teenage Wasteland”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dExnIXdvQ-8&feature=related

Out here in the fieldWe fight for what healsWe put our backs into more livingWe do need to fightTo prove we’re rightWe don't need to be forgiven

Don't fryDon't braise and dieIt's UV teenage wasteland

Children, fake the tanWe'll shout about tan bans Put out C’s fireAnd don't look past our shouldersThe evidence is clearThe Black C’s one to fearLet's get togetherJust so they get much older

Monday, January 16, 2012

I’ve never watched this guy’s show (apparently it’s an Oprah spinoff, which explains that) but apparently he’s every bit as good at walking back an on-camera verbal gaffe as Gingrich, Perry, and the rest of that dwindling gang. He reportedly left his viewers with the impression that he agreed with one of his guests and thought limited tanning bed use was a safe source of Vitamin D, and now his public relations flacks are busy ‘splaining and backpedaling on the show’s website. Well, “doc”, what you really need to do to maintain any credibility with your fans is get on camera and admit you were misinformed. Put a real medical expert on your show, one who knows the facts about the link between tanning bed use and an increased risk of melanoma, and set the record straight.

Personally, “doc”, I don’t care what you do or don’t do, and just want to thank you for the inspiration for another fractured old song—Lesley Gore’s “Its My Party”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

Nobody knows where Doc Ozzy’s head’s goneSeems he bought the tan lineWhy was he touting those tansWhen he's supposed to be fine

Its your party, and you’ll fry if you want toFry if you want to, fry if you want toYou could die too if C happens to you

Sunday, January 15, 2012

My wife’s favorite sort of winter vacation involves some place south of the border with a beach and a pool, so that’s where we’ll be going later this month. Our destination this year seems to be quite popular with aged gringo expatriates who are quite fond of their Tecate and Dos Equis. So I’ll be an island of trim pale in a sea of overstuffed leather. And, yes, I’ll be feeling just a little bit smug about it.

Every morning just after breakfastI don't want no sunburn on meJust ‘screen and good buddy visorThat's all I ever need'Cause I ‘screen alone, yeahWith nobody elseYeah, you know why I ‘screen aloneI prefer to be pale myself

The other night I laid sleepingAnd I woke from a terrible dreamSo I caught up with pals on facebookAnd read blogs ‘bout cancer sceneAnd we ‘screen alone, yeahWith nobody elseYeah, you know why I ‘screen aloneI prefer to be pale myself

The other day I got invited to pool partyBut I stayed dry insteadJust me and my pal UV blockerAnd skin doctors’ SPFAnd we ‘screened alone, yeahWith nobody elseYeah, you know why I ‘screen aloneI prefer to be pale myself

My old tannin’ spree done caught up with meAnd it made Black C oh so badThe only ones who will pale out with meAre my dear old blog fansAnd we ‘screen alone, yeahWith nobody elseYeah, you know why I ‘screen aloneI prefer to be older self

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Lord help me, but they’re back by request. To the tune of K.C. And The Sunshine Band’s “Get Down Tonight”…

Mates, mates, let's get together.Hotel fun, me and you.And do the things, ah, do the things.That docs like for you.Do a CT scan, take a toxic drug,Get pale for life.Get pale for life.Do a scalpel lance, take a MRI,Check moles tonight.Check moles tonight.Moley mates, I'll meet you,Same place, same time.Where we can all get together.And ease up our minds.Do a CT scan, take a toxic drug,Get pale for life.Get pale for life.Do a scalpel lance, fake a MRI,Check moles tonight.Check moles tonight.

Do the chemo dance, take some IL-2,Take down this fright.Take down this fright.Wear a little black, raise a little funds,Put C to flight. (Woo)Put C to flight. Maties!

FACT: Women aged 39 and under have a higher probability of developing melanoma than any other cancer except breast cancer.

Nonprofit organizations like the Skin Cancer Foundation have been doing a great job of late in trying to spread the “inconvenient truths” about the alarming increase in the incidence of melanoma among young women, which is largely attributable to tanning bed use among teenagers and twenty-somethings. But I almost never see any mention of melanoma’s impact on a demographic group that’s also near and dear to my heart, boomers, and it’s making me just a little bit paranoid. Is there a message in this silence? I mean, I know my g-g-g-g-generation is a ticking federal deficit time bomb, given the unfunded promises that Social Security and Medicare will be there for us in our golden years, and there are some who wish we’d just go away. So is the message that boomers are expendable soldiers in the war on melanoma, with a patriotic fiscal duty to succumb before reaching age 65?

Yikes. Suck it up, kids, I’m not going down without a fight and I’m not gonna die before I get old! And, meanwhile, I’m not gonna stop nagging you about avoiding the mistakes I’ve made. So there.

I’ll end this rant with a new twist on Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Teach Your Children”…

You, who are on C’s road must have a code that you can live by.And so become yourself because the past is just a goodbye.Teach your children well, their father's hell is where the moles lie,And feed them all your ‘screen, not one they’d pick, the one your docs buy.Don't you ever let them fry, if they scold you let it lie,So just care for them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of the tender years can't know the fears that your elders blew by,And so please lend them both your ears, they speak the truth before they can die.Teach what parents tell, their children's hell is where the moles lie,And heed them when they scream, the bone they pick, the tales they’ve told twice.Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,So just care for them and sigh and know they love you.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Nobody, but nobody, chose to check into the Hotel Melanoma. The halls are ever buzzing with sad news about those approaching the end of their long, tough battles. But there really are a bunch of fine and inspirational folks living and dying here, and good company is the only thing that makes our stays the least bit tolerable. The tragedy is that ignorance and denial are filling up the place.

For all of you molemates, here’s tonight’s ‘Happy Hour’ anthem for the Hotel lounge, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Melanoma”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwWUOmk7wO0

One ... two ... three ...

Pale me up

UV’s keep on burnin'Fillin’ this home with you my kinSingin' songs about our fool tansI hate melanoma once again and I think it’s a sin ... yes

Well I’ve heard foolish young laugh about herWell I’ve heard some fools put her downWell I hope them fools will rememberThis Hotel man don't want them around anyhow

Sweet home melanomaWhere our fries are so throughSweet home melanomaLord I've left my home for you

In cancer land they love pink cancerWoo, hoo, hooBut we all do what we can doThat Komen fame does not bother meDoes black silence bother you? ... tell our truth

Sweet home melanomaWhere our fries are so throughSweet home melanoma ... oh, yesLord they’re leavin’ home for you ... here they come ... melanoma

Now Hotel M has got some bloggersAnd they've been known to pick a fight or twoLord they get me off so muchThey pick me up when I'm feelin' blue ... now how about you

Sweet home melanomaWhere the meds are so fewSweet home melanomaLord I'm makin’ friends at you

Sweet home melanomaOh sweet homeWhere the fries are so through ... and the treatments fewSweet home melanomaLorrrdyLord they’re lining up for youYeah, yeahMy ... interferon’s not the answer

Every guest of the Hotel Melanoma cringes when hearing the phrase “it’s just skin cancer”. I heard it from well-meaning friends who hadn’t a clue why I was doing multiple rounds of inpatient biochemotherapy. Looking back to that time, I now think I did a disservice to the melanoma community by banning all hospital visitors. At the time, my wife and I thought we were doing the right thing by sparing family and friends from seeing the alarming visuals of the treatment. Now I realize that I might’ve scared a few people into practicing safe sun had I not hidden from public view. And demonstrated to a few people that melanoma really IS cancer, with treatments that are every bit as ugly as those performed for “real” cancers. I guess that’s why I so admire all the bad ass melanoma warriors who’ve shed their privacy and shared a photographic record of their battles with this beast.

For all of you BAMW’s, here’s a new version of The Fabulous Thunderbirds’ “Tuff Enough”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIhlOjmwHXU

We will block our child from sun tans with ‘screenAin't no doubt about it Black C it's you we AIM to seizeWe’ve wrestled with some dyin’, hope the public caresIt's black’s time baby, pink we don't wear

Ain't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuff

For you Black C we would swim in ‘screenNothing docs’d do to you that's too tuff for weWe'll call out those burning salons with our bloggin’ harsh wordsAnd not even worry about dishing dirt

Ain't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuff

We'll treat twenty four hours, seven days a weekJust so we can go home and end C’s streakWe’ll fight you in the morning and we’ll fight you at noonWe’ll fight you all the night and make Black Cancer swoon

Ain't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuff

We’ll lay in the sights of radiation that C’s earnedAnd not even worry about getting burnedWe’ll drown the entire state in ‘screen, fight insurance with pleasJust to have you Black C run and flee

Ain't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuff

Ain't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuffAin't that tuff enuff

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I’ll be heading to southern latitudes later this month to spend some beach time among the leather people, where I’m sure my phosphorescent white look and Yankee beach attire will draw some curious looks. Whatever, I really don’t care, and I just dare some weathered old bag in a thong bikini to inquire why I’m practicing safe sun. But I just had to write myself some music to sing along to while sipping something cool in the shade of a palapa hut.

To the tune of the Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdpAop7gp0w&feature=related

I got a lotta scans on my docket going jingle lingle lingWant to call doc on the telephone baby he’ll tell you some thingsBut each time I walk I see the same old thingAlways no safe sun no screenin’ until I get to Yankee wingMy honey my baby don't put your life upon no shelfI said don't hand me no fries and keep your tans to yourself

Fool baby baby baby why you want to treat thee this wayYou know I'm still a living boy I still reel from tan daysThat's when I told her my story 'bout these meds made by Dow And she said no safe sun no ‘screenin’ until she look like leather cowMy honey my baby don't put your life upon no shelfI said don't hand me no fries and keep your tans to yourself

You see she wanted her tan bad and I was about to give inThat's when I started talkin' tough love started talkin' about skinI said honey C lives with you for the rest of your life She said no safe sun no screenin’ until she feels those sharp knivesMy honey my baby don't put your life on no shelfPlease don't hand me no fries and keep your tans to yourself.

Monday, January 9, 2012

A heart-wrenching facet of networking in the online melanoma community is that death abounds. Good, funny, tough, and courageous folks who’ve received the best available treatment and the prayers of scores of loved ones, and fought like hell every step of the way, still succumb to this damn disease. But every so often one hears a story of seemingly miraculous healing and recovery. Is divine intervention at work in these tales?

My own views on that theological question are a muddled mix of hope, skepticism, and an uncertain faith. If prayers for healing work some times, then why is the answer to such prayers some times “no”? Is God even a micromanager to this degree?

I’ve had one experience that caused me to ponder about the healing power of prayer that I’ve never before shared with a single soul. I was incarcerated in the hospital following extensive neurosurgery to take a first whack at Mr. Schwannoma, and was experiencing some very intense pain and precious little relief from a morphine pump. A lay minister stopped by to offer me communion (which I declined for reasons I won’t go into here) but she nevertheless offered to pray for me. I accepted. I don’t recall a word she spoke but she laid her hand on my head as she prayed. Almost immediately, I experienced a warming, calming and soothing effect and the pain subsided to the point I quickly fell asleep. Was it just a coincidence, with pain meds finally kicking in at the time, or was something more going on there? All I know for sure is that I’d like to think it was the latter.

Maybe, just maybe, healing miracles really do happen. To the tune of The Moody Blues’ “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjImFYf2Vzc

I know they're out there somewhereSomewhere, somewhereI know we'll find them somehowSomehow, somehowAnd somehow they will heal the pain in you

C’s mist is drifting slowlyI can’t see the way aheadAnd I've left behind the empty treatsThat once inspired my lifeAnd the strength of the emotionIs like thunder in the air'Cos the promise that I’ve made this cancerHaunts me to the end

The secrets of life’s beautyAnd the mysteries of our soulsI've been searching for in every post I readAnd the times I've been quite takenIt's impossible to sayAnd no grass is growingUnderneath our feet

You see I know cure's out there somewhereO yes I know cure's out there somewhereYou see I know we'll find cures somehowO yes I know we'll find cures somehow

The words that I rememberFrom my childhood still are trueThat there's none so blindAs those who will not seeAnd to those who lack the courageAnd say it's dangerous to tryWell they just don't knowThat hope eternal will not be denied

Yes I know it's going to happenI can feel cure getting nearAnd soon we'll be returningTo the fountain of our youthAnd if you wake up wonderingIn the darkness He'll be thereHis arms will close around youAnd protect you with the truth

Sunday, January 8, 2012

For Rev. Carol, who’s used the line a time or two, the Hotel Melanoma version of Three Dog Night’s “Mama Told Me”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKaQzQAlNn4

Want some saline ‘stead of water?Yervoy by IV?What's all these hazy answers they're givin' me?This is the craziest Hotel that could ever beDon't turn on the lights 'cause I don't wanna see

Mama told me not to sunMama told me not to sun"That ain't the way to have fun, no"

Open up the window, let some air into this roomI think I'm almost croakin' from your spell of doom and gloomAnd those statistics you're quotin' 'bout scare me half to deathOpen up the window, doctor, let me catch my breath

Mama told me not to sunMama told me not to sun"That ain't the way to have fun, son""That is the way to be done, son"

The rad chemo is blastin', someone’s fallin’ on the floorI'm lookin' at my nurse aide - she's running out the doorI seen so many things I ain't never seen beforeDon't know what it is - I don't want this C no more

Mama told me not to sunMama told me not to sunShe said, "That ain't the way to have fun, son"

"That ain't the way to have fun, no""That ain't the way to have fun, no""That ain't the way to have fun, son""That ain't the way to have fun, no""That is the way to be done, son"

"That ain't the way to have fun, no""That ain't the way to have fun, son""That ain't the way to have fun, no""That is the way to be done, son"

I’m well aware that my non-melanoma world of family and friends pretty much ignores my silly blog and that I’m preaching to the choir. A lot of my Facebook friends who aren’t mole mates have probably blocked my posts because they find my awareness campaigning annoying or just plain boring. My guess is that a lot of us at the Hotel Melanoma are living a kind of ‘double life’. The cancer part of it isn’t meant to be a secret to the non-cancer part of it, but it is. Even my wife asked me the other day if I’d started writing songs “again”.

Oh well, here’s one to sing at your next bare-it-all skin inspection (and maybe a non-mole mate or three will have one performed this year?!). To the tune of The Rolling Stones’ “It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMTnLHDWRA

If I could stick a pen on my chart And spill it all over my stage Would it gratify ya, would it slide on by ya Would you think this boy is strange? Ain't he strange?

If I could spin ya, if I could sing ya A mole song that’s a rhyme Would it be enough to cause bleeding hearts If I broke down and died? If I died?

I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it, like it, yes, I do Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it I said can't you see that this old boy has sung a homily?

If I could stick a knife in my chart Homicide is my stage Would it take the buff off your tanning lust Would it make you dread your sheen? Spread your ‘screen?

If I could dig down deep in my heart Feelings would flood on the page Would it notify ya, would it slide on by ya Would ya think the boy's insane? He's insane

I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it, like it, yes, I do Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it I said can't you see that this old boy has sung a homily?

And do ya think that there’s some wonder cure around? I bet you think that pink’s the only cancer in town

I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like itI said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it I said I know it's only checkin’ moles but I like it, like it, yes, I do Oh, well, I like it, I like it. I like it...

Thursday, January 5, 2012

There’s going to be a fundraising walk for the AIM at Melanoma Foundation on November 17 in Charlotte, North Carolina. I’ve been conspiring with some fellow bloggers and others in the melanoma community to make this event something more than a morning walk in the park, and perhaps a sort of mole mate Woodstock gathering. Plans are sketchy at this point, but we can pretty much guarantee there’ll be a rousing after-party, which will likely include some loud music and table dancing. If the Mayan calendar is right, this could be one of your last chances to teach the pink world that we at the Hotel Melanoma are younger and cooler and really know how to party. So save the date. Details to follow.

To get you into the spirit, here’s a new version of ZZ Top’s La Grange…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vppbdf-qtGU

Rumour spreadin' a-'round in this cyber town'bout this walk outside in Charlotte and you’ll know what I'm talkin' about.Just let me know if you wanna go to this walk that’s all the rage.There’ll be lotta nice folks ah.

Have mercy.A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.A haw, haw, haw.

Well, come wear your sign if you got the timeand the black to put yourself in. A hmm, hmm.And we’ll party right, most ev'ry night,but now I might be mistaken.hmm, hmm, hmm.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

2011 was a banner year for treatment advances for Stage IV melanoma. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Stage III fighters are stuck in 1996, the year the FDA approved interferon as an adjuvant treatment for Stage III melanoma. Given this dearth of treatment options, and the toxicity and limited effectiveness of interferon, many opt for the emotionally excruciating “wait and see” approach. A lucky few of us win the melanoma lottery and get a shot at a clinical trial treatment. And all too many Stage III patients eventually progress to Stage IV, which my own doc just a few years ago bluntly described as “uniformly fatal”.

Can you imagine the public uproar we’d be witnessing if Stage III breast cancer patients stood in these same shoes today?

My wildest dreams are that 2012 is a year of breakthrough treatment advances for Stage III warriors. (A six-week presidential election campaign with no TV ads came in as a close second.) And that some respected celebrity, and I’m not thinking Kardashian ilk here, uses the bully pulpit of fame to vocally and visibly champion the melanoma cause.

What’s your wildest dream?

Thanks to The Moody Blues, there’s a great old song to accompany your musings…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmmPFrkuPq0

Once upon a timeOnce when tans were mineI remember friesConvecting was my prizeI wonder where cures areI wonder if theyLurk about meOnce upon a timeIn my wildest dreams

And when insurance paysAnd when my claims areLeft in fallowWhen the music playsI hear the soundThat I’m on hold nowOnce upon a timeOnce beneath the starsThe universe was oursCures for all were newAnd all we knew was throughI wonder if cells growI wonder if docs know about itOnce upon a timeIn my wildest dreams

And when the music playsAnd when my words areTouched with sorrowWhen the music playsAnd when the music playsI hear some soundsI have to borrowOnce upon a time

Once upon a timeOnce when tans were fineI remember skiesMirrored in the tidesI wonder where cures areI wonder if theyLurk about meOnce upon a timeIn my wildest dreamsIn my wildest dreamsIn my wildest dreamsIn my wildest dreams

Monday, January 2, 2012

If you’re anything like me, you suffer from no shortage of raw material for New Year’s resolutions. But in the unlikely events that a) you’re near-perfect and can’t think of anything else to work on; and b) you’ve yet to check into the Hotel Melanoma and are actually reading this post, here’s a suggestion: resolve to get your skin checked in 2012. And if you don’t want to (or can’t afford to) pay for it then go to a local health fair that offers melanoma screenings.

If you won’t listen to me, then please listen to Malcolm and Angus Young of AC/DC, to the tune of “It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock ‘n’ Roll)”…

Wond’rin’ what will docs sayHopin’ you don’t glowBlockin’ all the pathwaysPlayin' whack-a-moleGettin' probedGettin' stonedGettin' beat upSkin and bonesGettin' sadGettin' looksI tell you folksIt's harder than it looksIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin' molesIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ molesIf you think it's easy tied to IV standsTry stayin' in this Hotel M landIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ moles

Hotel M’s hellMake you wanna flyDoorman do the hard sellKnows your stay’s for life Gettin' oldGettin' greyGettin' ticked offBills ain’t paidGettin' toldSecond handThat's how it goesLivin' in this landIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ molesIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ molesIf you wanna be a star of stage don’t ‘screenLook out it's rough and meanIt’s a long way to the topIf you want a Stage IV roleIt's a long way to the onc’sIf you want to see a proIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ molesIt's a sure way to the oncIf you don’t go checkin’ molesWell, it's a sure wayIt's a sure way, (so they tell me)It's a sure way, such a sure way

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I’ve been hospitalized five times during my stay at the Hotel Melanoma. Each time I was too ill and zonked on meds to care, or even notice, whether any of my nurses were head-turners. I do, nevertheless, remember that all of them were angels who did their best to care for a very sick and often quite cranky patient—and to keep green residents from killing me. So, I can’t think of a better way to kick off 2012 than with a lyrical “thank you” to the nursing profession. In my book, you’re all beautiful people.

To the tune of Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PLq0_7k1jk

Pretty R.N., working on my beatPretty R.N., the kind that’s quick to treatPretty R.N.I don't believe you, you're not the truthNo one could nurse as good as youMercy

Pretty R.N., won't you pardon mePretty R.N., I shouldn't try to fleePretty R.N.And you are caring as can beDespite patients just like meWow

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About Me

My blog reflects an ongoing quest to find the good stuff and the funny stuff I've stumbled into during my stay at The Hotel Melanoma since receiving a Stage IIIc diagnosis in 2003. And to raise awareness about this relatively unknown brand of cancer. If you find it of value in your own quest, please share it with others and make a donation to your favorite melanoma nonprofit organization to fund melanoma education, prevention and treatment research. If you're wondering why my golden retriever, Jordan, is pictured here, well, he actually writes most of my posts and he's a lot better looking than me.

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A Thank You Note to Commenters

Comments, positive or otherwise, are the lifeblood of a blogger and I really do appreciate receiving and reading them. So, thanks for taking the time to let me know what you think about my blog. I know that some of you are currently enduring some pretty rough times. Please let me know how you are doing and whether there is something I can do to help.

Important Disclaimer!

At great risk of sounding like the corporate lawyer I used to be by making the perfectly obvious perfectly clear, here goes. Neither The University of Colorado Cancer Center nor any of its affiliated entities or individual persons (whether living, dead, or in some alternate plane of existence) has anything whatsoever to do with this blog. They don’t endorse it, sponsor it, approve it, or sanction it. Most likely they are completely unaware of it because they have better things to do than search the ‘net for blogs of patients, much less read them. Moreover, to the extent they are aware of it, they may not even like my writing or sense of humor. Nevertheless- and I’m acting solely and exclusively on my own here- I still hope you give them money to support the cause of melanoma (or other cancer) research. They do good work.