Homeless and pregnant, they find shelter

During my first pregnancy, sleep didn't come easy. At night, my mind raced with hopes and fears. Would the baby be healthy and the delivery smooth? Would being a mother come naturally? I tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position for my growing belly.

On a chilly night last week, a pregnant woman in Los Alamitos tried to sleep on a park bench. When she arrived at the Precious Life Shelter, her only possessions were a book bag and the clothes on her back.

Her story isn't unusual. The women who come to the shelter have been sleeping in cars or drifting from couch to couch, wondering what will become of them and their unborn babies. When they arrive, they discover that the shelter offers so much more than a warm bed. The shelter and its staff offer a future.

In 1982, Don and Theresa Sherrin opened their home to a young woman in need of a safe place to live with her baby. In the years that followed, the couple took in 44 expectant women. With the help of St. Hedwig parish, their vision of a permanent residence for pregnant women became a reality.

Over the past 25 years, the shelter has evolved into a three-phase residential support program that serves 80 to 100 women a year.

All residents enter the program through the emergency shelter, where they are permitted to stay for up to 30 days while working, attending school, volunteering or looking for a job. Many women continue into the transitional and single-parent efficiency programs, which offer essential life, parenting and self-sufficiency skills.

When 24-year-old Glenda arrived at Precious Life, she was “surprised and also relieved to see how nice the staff was to me.” She learned “how to budget and save money, cook healthy meals, plan menus, shop for groceries, and maintain a clean and healthy environment.”

Mia arrived seven months pregnant. “I didn't have a secure place to stay and I felt lost in life. Now I have the confidence in being a mother through church, (Precious Life Shelter) classes, case management and 12-step meetings.”

Precious Life President and CEO Theresa Murphy began volunteering at the shelter when it opened. Two things are clear from speaking with her. First, the woman is a saint. Second, she's a proponent of tough love. Breaking curfew is not tolerated. Strict rules, including random drug screenings, ensure the shelter remains a sober living environment.

“Getting clients back into a structured environment helps them see they have control over their life instead of their life having control over them,” Murphy says. That structure is too much for some residents.

“Sometimes they will walk out the door. Every one isn't a success story, but that doesn't mean we haven't planted a seed.”

The success rate at the shelter is high, a fact Murphy attributes to helping clients recognize that they are capable of changing their lives. “They are over the age of 18, and they come of their own free will. Sometimes they come straight from jail. They just have to make their minds up.”

Gigi, the first woman to visit the shelter, made up her mind. She is now a bank executive. Her child is a college graduate.

Another former resident now serves on the board of directors.

Jennifer, a current client, can't believe her good fortune. She's working hard, motivated by the success of the residents who are further along in the program.

All of the women are required to work full time in the local community. Shelter staff members help them develop resumes and gain employment. Roughly 60 percent haven't finished high school; most find entry-level positions.

With child care provided on site six days a week, the women strive to finish high school or get a GED. Currently, five of the six long-term residents are taking college courses and working full time. Their children range in age from 2 months to 20 months.

As clients move through the program, they learn accountability and budgeting. They're required to save 70 percent of what they earn. Clients often show up with issues like bad credit, debt and DUIs.

The length of the program – residents graduate when their babies turn 2 – is designed to address those issues and ensure nothing will hold them back after they depart.

Precious Life becomes family to women who are unaccustomed to normal, functional families. According to Murphy, many of the women have never had a birthday party or a typical Christmas. The shelter is therefore a place of celebration. “They've never heard, ‘You're special. You're important. You can do this.' ”

The environment isn't only female at the shelter. Forty percent of the shelter's operating costs are covered by sales at the Thrift and Gift Shop adjacent to the shelter, where many men volunteer. They serve as mentors and come in groups to host barbecues, modeling gentlemanly behavior and healthy, loving family relationships.

By the time the women complete the program, they have the tools necessary to nurture their children and live healthy, productive lives. No more nights spent in cars or on park benches. No more despair.

Hopefully, their occasional sleepless nights will be caused by less desperate and more mundane worries. Should I take him to the doctor tomorrow for that cough? Will she sit alone at the lunch table?

The success of the shelter depends on volunteers. The thrift store always needs help. Orientation and training for new volunteers are scheduled for Jan. 9.

The shelter needs computers for residents taking high school and college courses. Residents also need women's sweatsuits (hoodie tops and bottoms in sizes M, L and XL). A wish list can be found online at
PreciousLifeShelter.org.

Donations are welcome at the thrift store. Items that can't be resold are given to agencies that clothe the homeless.

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