"I am also a little weird"“I am also a little weird”. These words gave me a whole new appreciation of a beloved talmid. Allow me to explain. This talmid, let's call him Dovid, had a rebbe check into a girl during the dating process. The rebbe reported that the young lady sounds amazing but she is, to put it bluntly, a little weird. What would we respond? "If so, this is not for me". We might even be very angry at the shadchan for suggesting such an idea. Not Dovid. In a moment of no small greatness he said “That’s okay, I am also a little weird”. He looked deep inside and realized that for him her being a little weird was fine [1]. Dovid and that young lady are now a happily married couple (albeit a little weird)!How often in life do we shy away from situations and opportunities because of a superficial appraisal that we are above them? “I can’t be a third grade Rebbe / go to that yeshiva / date such a person”. Why exactly can’t you? Perhaps being a third grade Rebbe or dating that person fits you perfectly and is the best possible thing for you, your family and Klal Yisrael. Not every job fits every person, nor can everyone marry anyone, but a lot more is possible if we open ourselves to the opportunities around us.What Dovid’s decision expressed was the ability to act based on an honest, not gaavah-guided perception of self.Let us focus on the three key ideas in that last statement.Honesty is the first ingredient. “To thine own self be true”. Life is ultimately much more rewarding and enjoyable when we are who we are. Running away from the truth certainly won’t change it so what does one gain from self-deception?Not being guided by Gaava. Dovid’s wife obviously was a fitting bride for him. Therefore, if he would not have met her it would have been an expression of haughtiness.No one readily sees themselves as being guided by gaava, yet like the commanding maestro with his orchestra it actually conducts us all the time. We have created nice sounding words and phrases like "honor", "recognition" or "standing by our principles" to deflect this terrible truth. Commonplace occurrences like seeing something as below us, feeling we aren’t getting the recognition we deserve, being stubborn and having taanos on people are generally expressions of gaava[2]. The gadol hador Rav A.L. Steinman שליט"א was asked why things are so difficult in shidduchim? His surprising response was “The main reason is gaava!.. she is looking for something special and so is he and accordingly many potential prospects aren’t good enough. If there was less gaava there would be more marriages”. Additionally, he sometimes says the reason many bachurim wont go out with older girls is because of gaava[3].Act. We may be honest and not gaavah- guided in our self perception, but until we are ready to act it doesn’t really make a difference. The thought that he is also weird could have gone through Dovid’s head, but he is married today because he acted. Taking such steps takes courage. It’s the courage to do what is right even if it isn’t popular or readily appreciated by others.Think of all the wasted potential caused by not acting this way. And wasted potential leads to horrible things. Let’s return to our prospective third grade Rebbe. If he accepts the position he will happily fulfill his potential, earn a living and be mezakeh harabbim. Imagine him not taking the position because he isn’t acting based on an honest, not gaavah-guided perception of self. The more chashuv position he covets may elude him for years to come. In that context it is very easy for him to become small minded, cynical and depressed[4]. So too by the overly picky single. As opposed to experiencing all the joys of marriage and children he suffers alone often becoming small minded, cynical and depressed[5] in the process.It pains one to think of all the sadness and lack of fulfillment so many suffer from because of their puffed up self-perceptions. One will stay in an underpaid, unfulfilling position with a boss he doesn’t like because of the prestige his position affords him. Who ultimately are we living for? Our neighbors?!Let us unshackle ourselves from the overbearing handcuffs of others perceptions and boldly and joyfully be ourselves!