By SARAH LUTHENS, GUEST COLUMNIST

Published 10:00 pm, Monday, July 23, 2007

This month marks a historic date in the state of Washington. For the first time, domestic partners throughout the state are eligible for a handful of key protections.

I eagerly look forward to registering with my partner, as it will be a public affirmation of the immense love, deep commitment and profound caring that Heather and I express privately to each other every day.

At the same time, however, I am somewhat outraged that the legal protections that will be granted to us are a mere pittance compared with those granted by the state to my brother and his female spouse.

My ambivalence does not end with the unfair, disparate treatment of same-sex couples who are denied marriage equality.

As Heather's and my relationship achieves a modicum of rights, responsibilities and respect via the new state law, I wonder about other unmarried couples who are deserving -- but denied -- the benefits of the domestic-partner statute.

The new law is strictly limited to same-sex couples, as well as to opposite-sex couples but only if one partner is at least 62 years old.

Why are many opposite-sex couples excluded based on sexual orientation and age? Whom does the exclusion affect the most?

Earlier this year, The New York Times reported that 51 percent of women are living without a spouse, including 70 percent of black women.

Consider Tanisha, a middle-aged woman who has lived many years in a committed, loving, and unmarried partnership with 50-year-old Alfonso. They have raised two children. Should Tanisha and Alfonso be excluded from the new domestic-partner law?

Some people would argue that this couple should get married if they want legal rights for their relationship. Yet many women have experienced that a marriage license seems to give their spouses psychological license to inflict domestic violence. Maybe that's why Tanisha doesn't want to get married. Or maybe Alfonso's parents had a very difficult marriage, and he does not want to risk the chance of repeating that cycle.

Whether those are "good" reasons not to get married, who is to judge?

The needs of diverse unmarried families are best addressed through comprehensive domestic-partner legislation that honors non-discrimination and family stability without imposing the requirement of marriage.

And no less important is the legal freedom to marry -- a fundamental human right that should be a choice for all loving, committed adult couples, regardless of sexual orientation.