Feeling blue as AF came late after +ve test

That's it really, I just wanted to talk to someone as my DH is away at the moment, and in a different timezone. It's probably daft as I have two DCs already and they are so lovely and cute having breakfast at the moment, but I'm just sitting here with tears streaming down face for the age gap that will never be. I so thought I was pregnant.

Now I'm really panicking about why I can't get pregnant. We've been trying for 4 months so far. I had this really weird thing where, when I was wearign a tampon during AF, it would get soaked with wee when I went to loo (maybe result of 10lb DS2?), and I had a gynaco appointment booked last week but cancelled it because I thought I was pregnant and didn't want investigations to discourage an embryo (stupid thinking I know). Now I'm worried there is something wrong inside which is making it impossible for embryos to grow.

Oh no, so sorry to hear that - and poo to DH being in a different time zone . It's emotional enough ttc without getting +bve tests that turn out not to be so I really do feel for you.

I know what you mean about the age diff too. We have DS who is nearly 3 and I wanted a 2-3 yr age gap but have now been ttc for 18 mths and nothing now. I am just having to console myself that maybe we were lucky to get DS rather than unlucky this time but that doesn't help every month when AF visits.

The other thing possibly is that if you had BFP before AF, could it have been a chemical pregnancy? Was AF late? if so it could be that it isn't a problem getting of, but maybe for some reason this of wasn't meant to be.

We had a mc before DS and I always think that or some reason the pg wasn't going to be viable.

So sorry you're going through this. Could I gently suggest that you remake the gynae appt and get seen to. It could be something easily resolved

I agree with Lisa, it could have been a chemical pg - one of the downsides of being able to test so early. 20 years ago, you would just be a few days late and know no different. I had several myself and its heartbreaking. In the few days of knowing about the pg you make all these plans in your head, and then its all dashed when af arrives

TBH, 4 months isn't that long for trying, one you've had your gynae issues resolved, I'd give it a little longer. Good luck

Thank you so much for replying, it's hard to find anyone in RL to talk to on a Wednesday morning! My heart goes out to your for your 18 months TTC, I feel like I'm already so exhausted by trying after 4. It's a cruel thing to have PMT at the very same time as disappointment isn't it?

I will learn my lesson about testing early anyway. I'm thinking of getting some ovulation predictor kits though, do you use anything like that? I didn't for my DCs, as I got pregnant in 2 months and then 1 month. That's why I have unrealistic expectations this time around, no doubt.

You're so right about the pms timed with bad news. Nature should give us a weirdly upbeat feel to counteract bad news at that time of the month!

We also got pg quickly before so am surprised it's taking so long this time - feeling that life is unfair!!

We aren't using ov sticks at the mo - too much like hard work but I am charting temps. Although because that is also hard work I am using a duo fertility monitor which takes temps automatically for me. Although that seems to think I haven't ov'd this mth at all yet and am on CD21 so due on next week. We have a second appt at the fertility clinic though on Friday so that is distracting me from the 2ww.

Am tempted to either use ov sticks or maybe just SWI every other day for must if the month - if DH can keep up

Hope you're feeling a bit better. I sleazy find a snuggle with DS and a cuppa (maybe a too) helps.

I wouldn't bother with opks as you're clearly ovulating, as is shown by the chemical pregnancy and they can add more pressure and more stress when it's not necessary. Plus, they don't actually pinpoint ovulation for you, merely a hormonal surge.

I think they estimate that chemical pregnancies can happen in about 50% of cycles if you're trying and it's only early and sensitive testing that has shown this fact. They're terribly hard to experience but so common sadly.

4 months is nothing at all in terms of ttc but I can see why you're feeling so desperate. It's normal for it to take a year or so.

Please go and see a gynaecologist. At the very least you don't want to go through another pregnancy or birth with existing trauma from a big baby. Get it fixed first. Try and see it as a positive step, preparing your body for the next baby.

Thank you, I've rearranged the gynaecology appointment, maybe will post on health board to see if anyone has had similar weirdness with tampons.

LisaJayne I know what you mean about DH keeping up, I feel awful breaking the news to him that last month's marathon effort was not enough... maybe our bodies are trying to tell us we're too knackered at the moment for another DC...

Lots of luck at the fertility clinic. I'm going to focus on the thought that I can give much more attention to my DCs and be a better mum all round when I'm not knackered with pregnancy.

porcupine, I don't know if you're started another thread yet, but if you're leaking urine from one part of your body to another it's probably an obstetric fistula. There is a LOT of help available and it is reparable. I'm pleased you're going to go back and see a gynae about this.

I just looked up obstetric fistula and it's nothing that severe - the only odd thing I've noticed is the tampon thing, no pain or urine infections, etc. It could be (I hope it's only) that my pelvic floor muscles are weakened and they can't keep a tampon high enough, like eurochick suggests. I guess the GP has no way of knowing this for sure so that could be why she referred me to an expert.