Saturday, July 14, 2012

beCominG funfreeME: InstaLLation V

beCominG funfreeME: InstaLLaTiOn V07.14.12

Dear Y'ALLs (really? awkward, Ms. Curry . . .)--

Well, I have a couple of more installations of my Personal Codes of Truth (PCT), and I'm supposed to go out to dinner with my bff right now, but it's raining so dang hard that we can't go outside . . . so, I'm doing my amazing and fun life-purpose--WRITING THIS BLOG! (do you think I can actually marry writing my blog? I LOoOVe lOVeeE it So mUcChH!)

Back to the rain--lucky I had my gross, tree-infested,poopy-smelling drainspout cleaned out today by one of my SuPer-duper-HelpERS - - JeRRy! (SHOUT OUT! Thanks, MAN! t-shirt forthcoming! )

Anyway, my next installation of what I believe to be true, and the way I want to live my life is this:

Well, what I have learned in my super old wrinkly-kneed, face-caving-in, aged-ness ( actually I'm pretty cute for my age!) is that we have two choices: WE CAN LIVE IN LOVE, OR WE CAN LIVE IN FEAR.

That's basically it.

Story: There was a time in my life when I was so craving LoVe--maybe I felt unLovAble or I was not LovIng myself very much. I went for a walk around beautiful and amazing Lake Harriet--my spiritual lake since I was in my early twenties! I saw hearts everywhere--in leaves, clovers, in shadows, on sidewalk chalk by the secret troll house, in the clouds. It was EVERYWHERE! Here's a picture one of my bffs took yesterday.

Note: look carefully in the upper left! The heart is IN THE LIGHT, not the shadow (of freakin' course~!) AND: notice the bonus upside down butterfly, too!

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"Go to your fears,

sit with them,

stare at them.

Your fears are your friend,

their only job is to show you undeveloped parts of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life. The more you do the things you're most afraid of doing the more life opens up.

Coming from a place of fear totally sucks, 'cuz I'm always wondering when the ball is going to drop, or someone will FIND OuT about me, or catch me screwing up royally! Protecting myself from all of this crap basically became so intolerable, that I had to LEAP! accept myself, and quit trying to control the whole freakin' world (including how people felt about me and what they thought about me--btw, I made this all up in my head 'cuz how would I know what others are thinking?)

My daughter has decided that this summer is called the "summer of risks"--started by the fact that when I was at Valleyfair, I went on the ripcord. I also took my Max and Chloe, and Owen (Max's bestie!) to REI to go rock climbing. I was so scared! Here's my two babies (not) when they were climbing! I was such a proud Momma!

Max & Chloe are so very brave!

What I know now is that I am LoVe! and I can choose lOvE over fEaR! HOw do you choose love over fear? Let me know in the comments!

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About (funfree)Me!

I am a writer, storyteller, teacher, blogger, philosopher, spiritual collagist, mama, LoVer of LiFe!, amazing friend, and one cOoL pUsSy cAt!!
I has been teaching middle school English for over 25 years and hold a Ph.D. in curriculum and instruction with a focus in literacy. My interests in reflection and spirituality stem from my research in adolescent identity formation (translation: how we grow up and become more fully ourselves!), from work on my own transformation, and from my experiences of evolving as a PERFECTly imPERFECkT hu(wo)man BEing!