I Just Want to Save You While There’s Still Something Left to Save (Mark/Lexie)

Something completely random that I wrote that is probably complete crap but here is it anyway.

It’s been a year. One year. Only one year since her mom died and everything in her life changed completely.

Most of it has been for the worst. Her father’s alcoholism. A half-sister who despises her since the first time she sees her and knows who she is. An embarrassing pseudo-obsessive crush that nearly borders on “Fatal Attraction” territory. A stupid, impromptu surgery that nearly kills a fellow intern just because she is desperate to prove how bad ass she is.

She has nothing good left in her life. Not anymore.

She has been a mess the entire day, nearly on the verge of tears every few minutes, until Dr. Shepherd, who’s service she is on, sends her away with the order to get some rest. He gives her a sympathetic look as if he knows what that day is to her but he can’t possibly know and she doesn’t want to talk about it.

She goes into an on-call room – thankfully empty at the time – and lays down on the bottom bunk, curling herself into a ball, facing the wall, clenching her eyes shut, her body beginning to shake with silent tears.

She doesn’t know how long she’s in there but it seems as if only a few minutes has passed before she hears the door quietly open behind her, the light from the hallway spilling into the darkness momentarily before the door shuts again, cutting it out and swallowing her back up into the black abyss.

She doesn’t have to turn or even open her eyes to know it’s him. Just his mere presence can send shivers down her spine and despite her current state, now is no different.

The mattress dips down as he climbs onto the bed, situating himself behind her, and without a word, he wraps his arms around her, pulling her back to his chest, their bodies curling and forming together like they do every night in his hotel room.

He doesn’t say anything and neither does she. He simply holds her and she can’t help but cry a bit harder when he lifts a hand and strokes her hair out of her face, strands plastered to her tear-stained wet cheeks.

He knows what’s wrong with her without needing her to tell him and it doesn’t surprise her. He always knows what’s wrong or in other situations, why she’s happy. He’s the only one who knows her anymore.

He seems to know that her chest is hollow and aching and her stomach is twisted into unbearably painful knots. He seems to know that she doesn’t want him to say anything. He seems to know that all she needs him to do right now is just hold her and not try and tell her that it will be okay because right now, she doesn’t believe that for a second.

The tears finally stop but his arms never loosen from around her and she wraps her fingers around his forearm that is tucked underneath her chin.

“Mark,” she whispers but she feels him shake his head, his nose in her hair.

“You don’t have to say anything, Lex,” he tells her and she closes her eyes again, taking a deep, shaky breath.

She realizes the thought she has will probably scare him and send him running for the hills anyway so she admits that it’s a good thing he quiets her. She does not want to scare him away but...

She wants to tell him that he’s all she has now.

Somewhere along the way since this thing started between them, it is no longer about sex and is beginning to resemble something of a relationship. A relationship that is turning out to be the best thing she has in her life and something she doesn’t want to lose for anything.

Her fingers grip his arm a bit more, holding onto it as if it is her only lifeline at the moment – and in so many senses of the word, it is exactly that - and he squeezes around her even tighter in silent response.

He’s all she has and deeper in the back of her mind, she realizes that right now, he’s all she needs.