Pennsylvania restaurateur bans kids younger than 6

This is provocative: A restaurant owner in Monroeville, Pa., east of Pittsburgh, refuses to allow children younger than 6 in his restaurant, saying their noise can’t be controlled and that inflicting them on other customers is “the height of being impolite and selfish.” Speaking of parents, he tells a local TV station:

You know, their child — maybe as it should be — is the center of their universe. But they don’t realize it’s not the center of the universe.

Would such a rule at a Capital region restaurant affect whether you dined there?

Steve Barnes

88 Responses

YES!! I’d dine at the restaurant all of the time. Children do not have the attention span needed to dine out, except at a restaurant like Chuck-E-Cheese where they can get up and play while waiting for their food. It’s not fair to make children sit there and try to be quiet for a long period of time, something that is almost impossible for most children to do. Parents should realize this. I love of the idea of kid-free restaurants!

This is ridiculous – I checked the website, its not like this particular restaurant is offering high end fine dining, just typical continental fare. I probably wouldn’t go to this restaurant anyway, but with this stupid policy I would make it a point to avoid.

Our children have eaten in restaurants with us since they were able to leave the house and we have never had any problems. Children’s poor behavior in restaurants is the direct result of the parents. On the few occasions when our daughter has had a meltdown in a restaurant either my wife or I will take her outside to settle down until she was able to rejoin polite company. We do not allow yelling, standing on furniture, etc. Even in “kid friendly” places like Friendly’s.

On the flip side, I certainly would not WANT to bring my kids if I was trying to have a relaxing dinner out with my wife. Like I said, well behaved children requires a bit of work on the part of the parents.

I’d definitely dine at a restaurant that does not allow children under 6. It doesn’t mean I won’t dine at one that allows kids, but if I got there and there are screaming kids, then I’d turn around and leave immediately.

Yes! I love this idea. I am not anti-kid in general, but when I am out trying to enjoy myself (and especially while I am dining out), I really don’t want that time interrupted by unruly kids… and many parents seem oblivious to those of us who don’t have kids.

I 100% stand by his right to do this. I 100% stand by the right of customers to choose not to go there at all because of it. This is the beauty of a free market society. When you establish a place you set the rules within the law, when it is your money you choose to spend it where you like based on whatever you like.

I don’t think banning kids is a big deal I’m sure there are 10 other places parents can take their kids….. Personally we try to avoid places with kids – there is a reason we have a friendlys and 2 applebees gift cards in the kitchen drawer……

Andy # 5 – “On the few occasions when our daughter has had a meltdown in a restaurant” reason enough, IMHO, to not take a chance and risk subjecting other guests to unneeded distraction. One public meltdown

If parents can afford to eat out, either pay for a sitter and leave the children behind, or go to McD’s where the kids will be entertained.

We eat out a lot and we seldom (if ever) see young kids at high end restaurants. @5, we also brought our kids to restaurants since they were infants with these rules: 1)always before 6:00, 2) we would sit in the bar or lounge area, not in the main dining room if possible and 3) if they ever made noise at all, we would take them out. This happened only once when we broke rule 1 and the poor kid was hungry and tired. Children need to learn to behave in public and it’s up to their parents to teach them. Unfortunately, many parents don’t know how to teach good manners or can’t be bothered.

@16 – a parent could never leave the house if they let the mere possibility of a meltdown dictate their comings and goings.

@15 – and the congregation said “Amen”! How else is one supposed to teach proper behavior and manners other than leading by example and providing plenty of opportunities to practice?

Here is the thing – I don’t have a problem if I restaurant wants to do this, it is their choice as a business owner. However, it is absurd and unfair that many of the commenters above would obviously have no problem exiling families with small children to crappy chains and fast food restaurants. These days you are just as likely to have your meal spoiled by an ADULT talking on their cell phone or creating a scene after having too much to drink.

#2 – I totally agree with your point. I find it sad that people expect children to “behave”, i.e. do what we want them to do (because really, whose problem is it that they run around, yell, have fun, get messy? Theirs? Are they doing anything BAD? No! It’s just not what WE, proper, “civilized” adults, want!!!).
Children are born expressive and joyful, and all of our silly rules about “sit at the table with your hands folded and be quiet” are antithetical to what it means to be a child. Children don’t “know any better”, nor should they. I would even venture to say it is child abuse to expect a child to go to a restaurant and not wiggle, be loud, or want to run around. To demand that they suppress their true nature is such an unfortunate thing.

That said, we shouldn’t bring children to restaurants and subject THEM to that sort of torture – for our own benefit – and then get angry at them when they don’t comply.

#15- they used to have this thing in the 70’s (back when I was a kid) called “home cooking”. It’s this thing where your mom or dad cooks the food IN YOUR HOUSE and then you eat it IN YOUR HOUSE! You could even make it healthy if you wanted.

That’s what the original intent of the “kitchen” was in early home architecture.

This is the type of restaurant that I would like to open up someday. I think limiting at 6 is even being generous. There are plenty of other places people can take their children. It would be nice to have at least one place of refuge.

@24 Thank you for clearing that up. I DO cook…more than most people on this blog, I’m sure. At what age do you suggest I leave the house with my kids? And since you would “be a regular” at such a place, is it safe to assume you have NO KITCHEN?

We have 2- and 8-year olds, so obviously we’d not go there with them; but if it had excellent food, such a policy wouldn’t put us off going there on a date night. Their call.

Now, our kids have been and will continue to go to fancier places than that – as others have note, how else do they learn? – so I don’t think that the polcy is *needed* in most cases – but it doesn’t offend me.

Heck yeah I’d eat there! And if the food was half way decent, I’d eat there regularly. Nothing more annoying than screaming kids when you’re out to eat. Well except for a screaming kid kicking and jumping up and down on the booth seat so the whole world is shaking for the person sitting on the other side. I would have gotten the beating of a lifetime if I did that as a kid. And yes we were kids who had to sit there at the table being quiet, no elbows on the table, chew with your mouth shut, etc. We all lived and grew up to being able to go out in public and not act like a yard ape as my grandfather would call wild children.

Actually, Yono’s does request you turn off your cell phones. I have never seen a child there either, but it’s a higher end restaurant that is not conducive to children.

I absolutely would go to such a restaurant that bans kids under 6. What else can I do? I used to sit in smoking sections to get away from them, but they were there too. Then I tried sitting at the bar -which usually works.

When my husband and I eat out, we tend to avoid places we know will have a lot of children (or any children at all) and if we are out and a child starts screaming….we take it as a sign its time to leave. Why can’t more restaurants have a family side and adult side, like the old Ground Round used to. Then its up to the customer and the restaurant isn’t excluding anyone. However, yes we would probably go to this restaurant based solely on the fact that there weren’t any kids, even if the food was only so-so.

And beyond that….what is it with parents at any public establishment whose child is having a temper tantrum and they don’t seem to notice. Yes, that might be frequent in YOUR home, but don’t subject others to it. We aren’t used to it and would prefer not to hear it.

#24. also in the 70’s we had cheap gas, jeans much more sexy then today, and Al Green on 8 track. We also were not bombarded with fast food like today. Thing is its highly doubtful those days will return. Which leads me to believe your analogy best applies to children learning about good food in today’s reality.

If he wants to enforce such a policy so be it, but I have taken my children out to a variety of restaurants since they were infants, yes infants. They are now quite capable of sitting in a restaurant at a table, they do not run around, they do not yell and the minute they start whining are promptly taken to the car. And they are 3 and 4 years old. Do not assume all children are unruly and disruptive.

No issue, and while my kids are now older (10 ish) , a restaurant has the right to set its own decorum. It’s a free society. They might lose some families, but gain those who value peaceful dinners. It’s a fair trade off and they have the right to do this. As for parents who cannot calm their child, being asked to leave is the right of the establishment. While a child can scream at a McDonald’s play place, it’s not appropriate for a more formal or even nicer casual setting. Some kids may be ready, others are not. Depends on maturity, but the restaurant can set an arbitrary age if it so chooses and live with the economic consequences.

I wonder how he got to his choice of age. I’ve seen some pretty poor-behaved kids, ages 6 and up.

Regardless, I think it’s a pretty nice idea. Sure, there are annoying adults…but I think those same annoying adults think bringing their cranky 2-year-old to a restaurant at 8 p.m. on a Friday night is a good idea.

Andy # 20 – “a parent could never leave the house if they let the mere possibility of a meltdown dictate their comings and goings. ” I sorry you misunderstood; I did not say parents should never leave the house. I intended to imply that they should not take children to an adult establishment, and risk disturbing adults trying to enjoy a quite meal. Take them somewhere “kid friendly” = there are plenty of such places.

Why limit it to under six? Although, I did have dinner at 677 Prime with 5 friends a few years ago. One brought her infant daughter. We were there for 3 hours, and not a sound. The initial glares from the other diners was certainly unfounded! But, that was definitely not the norm. I would frequent a restaurant with a no children rule, as long as the food was consistent and good.

@44 – what does “kid friendly” mean? Hot dogs, chicken fingers and mac & cheese? My 4 year old has enjoyed antipasto at Cafe Capriccio, shumai at Sushi Thai Garden, PB&J on whole grain bread w/apple slices at Scallions, tacos at Salsa Latina and pho at Saigon Spring (and this are only the places that spring to mind immediately). I think the best way to encourage good behavior is to AVOID so-called “kid friendly” places that tolerate yelling, mess making, jumping, running around and all of the other things that people complain of. We went to Friendly’s for ice cream and my daughter was as appalled as I was at some of the behavior we saw…

Even as a mom of a 1 year old, it doesn’t bother me. It’s a business decision. It makes choosing places more difficult up front, but I respect anyone who is trying find a niche in a difficult market.

We tend to get food to go and eat at home these days. That way, my husband and I can enjoy a nice meal after the little guy has gone to bed, and no one has to deal with our jovial toddler and his incessant babbling. Even though I love him more than life itself, I know that not everyone else does.

We tend to typically eat at chains – mostly because I have, shall we say, an intimate understanding of the food inspections in my area. But, just the same, every adult should be able to enjoy a night out

Andy and I share the same opinion on children and restaurants. Most children are capable of sitting through a meal at a restaurant. I have never allowed running around or disturbing other diners, and I rarely see children misbehaving in the restaurants that do not cater to kids.

This owner can set policies for his restaurant. As a parent, I am not offended.

This topic comes up often on Table Hopping and other blogs. How many of your meals have been ruined -or even mildly affected- by unruly kids in a good restaurant? I eat out frequently, and I can only recall two or three times.

You guys ARE a bunch of cry babies. Whining about
kids. Every six months or so a story like this comes
out and everyone cheers for the guy who owns the
place and blah blah blah. I have brought my kids
out since they where able to go out. If one acted
up, we took them out before they exploded. If the parents
let the kid carry on, shame on the parents. All
you people who don’t have kids have no idea but have
all the answers. Should we also ban people who talk
loud? Bite their forks? Answer cell phones? Ugly? I
hate it when I’m eating a nice meal and there is a
beast in my mine of sight!
Relax they are kids-they grow up- so should you whiners

The problem seems to be that parents take kids to “kid friendly” places and let them run roughshod, making a mess, climbing on furniture and charging around. By doing so, they allow the kids to learn that restaurants are playgrounds with crayons and chicken tenders. Then they wonder why they don’t behave when taken someplace nicer.
My son has had many meals at Friendly’s and Friday’s and such. When he was 4 and going to Friendly’s I “pretended” it was 677 or Yono’s and he was expected to behave as such. No ketchup on the table or climbing under the table or “visiting” with the people in the next booth. He wasn’t always perfect but he got the lessons in places where it would be less an issue. Now at 11, he can go to a fine dining restaurant and ask smart questions of the servers, place his order politely and say thank you. He knows how to calculate a tip and the proper way to get a server’s attention. The problem with kid friendly places is that too many folks use it as an excuse to NOT teach their children.

As for the place in PA. Fine for them. I think that a restaurant owner can decide what clientele it care to serve and if they feel that children under 6 are a probalem, they should have the right to restrict youngsters.

There are lots of places that cater to kids. I think its great to also have some places to go where kids aren’t allowed. Some parents seem to want to turn everything into a kid friendly experience. That’s ridiculous. Kids don’t need to be included in every aspect of social life – a kid free zone every now and then is refreshing.

Sysonby- Even if it is a kid friendly place, it’s
still not okay to let your/my kid act like a wild
animal, if that does happen it is the fault of the
parents. I go to family friendly places and have
my boys act appropriately. The acts you described
are inappropriate at any restaurant. And that’s great
that your kid is a uber-diner now, but at 11, if
you can’t sit in a restaurant, your parents have
failed you.

I love this policy. Not two months ago while eating at Bennington Station late on a Saturday night some little “angel” decided to put on a dance recital in front of the piano player. She knocked into the wait staff with full tray while twirling around to her grandma’s enjoyment. Finally someone got the nerve to ask them to have her seated so she didn’t get hurt by anything that might fall off the trays.

I was baffled that an adult would promote the behavior in the first place. Their entire party sat at their table quietly after they were told by management that the behavior needed to stop. They left fairly quickly as well. It wasn’t quick enough for me and my companions.

I have two children under 8 and we bring them with us to many different restaurants and almost always we receive a compliment as to how well behaved they are. But, my general rule is this-does the restaurant have a separate kids menu (unless its an ethnic cuisine such as Indian or Chinese) and do they have booster seats? If not, even though my kids might not eat off the kids menu, it says to me that the restaurant is setting a tone of not encouraging kids to eat there.

We love to take our kids to New World Bistro Bar-generally around 5:30 or ealrier and we have taken my 8 year old to 677 for lunch but I wouldn’t bring them to Yono’s or the Wine Bar on Lark. And I’m perfectly fine with that. Grown ups need grown up time too.

This is an indictment of the parents. We had an experience at Daisy Baker’s a few weeks ago. The parents allowed two very young children to use the open area,(usally the dance floor) as as a running track. The tots ran back and forth screaming. At the same time there was another family that had 2 children of similar age, who sat at the table and were well behaved and not fussing at all. When I encounter well behaved children in a reataurant, I often stop at the table on the way out and compliment the child.

In total agreement that adults need adult time and that kids do not have to be included all the time, however I also believe that there are very few restaurants that can be truly considered as “adults only” environments, especially if the parents exercise a little consideration and planning (i.e., weekday dining, seated before 6pm, etc.) That being said, the restaurant in the article certainly would not seem to qualify as anything so special as to require a no children policy.

What all this means is that there seem to be two kinds of parents: those that say “kids do that” no matter how unacceptable the kids’ attitude and behavior are, and should never be allowed to bring their kids into ANY restaurant, probably; and the rest of us, who think kids should behave themselves in situations not entirely familiar to them.

I’m very aware of the difference. I helped raise my three kids, whose mother (my late ex-wife) was of the first persuasion while I’m of the second. My beloved second wife then finished raising them, with my help. Score: two out of three.

@59-Kathy. Thank you for that comment. I also have sternly told parents to round up their children and make them sit down so us waiters/waitresses did not hurt them or run into them with hot food, or with a tray of cocktails. When I’m bringing a tray of food out into the dining room, it’s very hard to see a small young child.
More managers need to make their patron’s kids stop wandering all over the dining room as if they were home.

#64,williepitt, I think both sides agree there are times children can cause a disturbance in restaurants. The difference it seems is those opposed focus on the children. Those on the other side focus on the parents of the children. I’ve often stressed the point that not all children behave improperly. Yet, if you read through this topic with few exceptions like #62 its rarely acknowledged. My position has never been children causing a disturbance is a fact of life and deal with it. My argument is the core of the problem is uncaring parents casting a black cloud over those of us trying to educate our children about good food. And yes even common courtesy in social settings.

Having just had my dinner completely disrupted on Fri. night at a restaurant in the region by two families with young children – this sounds great to me. The problem with saying that it is not all children or not all children under six, is that you won’t know til they begin to act out or the screaming starts, etc. Although I agree it’s the parents, not the kids, far too many parents don’t get it, or just don’t care. This approach prevents the rest of us having to endure the screaming, and the antics, etc. to find out. Works just fine for me.

There are plenty of “kid-friendly” places to take children if you want to include them and teach them how to behave in a restaurant. When I want to relax with a nice meal out on a fFiday night and NOT have screaming children running around my table and parents 2 feet away who are yelling at them, I think I also deserve that option.

I really don’t think managers or waitstaff should have to deal with this either.

I see a lot of comments citing “kid friendly” restaurants but no one has really talked about what that really means other than to equate kid friendly with fast food or chain restaurants that serve “typical” food such as chicken fingers, mac & cheese, etc. in loud / noisy environments.

In my experience, the biggest “kid friendly” factor of all is speed of service and food preparation. The longer you spend in a restaurant with young children the higher the potential for disaster. It is all a matter of attention span and patience. This is why fine dining establishments are so rarely suitable for children – simply put, the whole idea is to relax, take your time, and enjoy a somewhat prolonged dining experience.

It is critical to know your child’s limits (how long they can reasonably be expected to sit quietly at a table), select a restaurant with reasonably prompt/reliable service, be seated early, and if possible request that the children’s food is brought out first (with the soup/salad/appetizers). A few QUIET activities never hurt anyone either – i.e., favorite book, action figure/stuffed animal or other small toy, crayons/paper.

Note however that I am completely against DVD players or portable gaming systems in restaurants. It is bad enough that many adults barely look up from their phone as they go about their daily routine, why encourage children to be so rudely withdrawn in social situations?

As the mother of FIVE yes 5 children (FYI I’ve already been called a breeder when I responded to this story on Huf Post’s Comment section !) ranging in age from 18 to 4, I find this to be very intolerant behavior. This owner wants the free publicity for his “restaurant” and trust me, people with large families know when we are not welcome. I have always raised my children to be polite, respectful and to view eating out as a privilege. I try and call ahead and make a reservation and tell the establishment that I have a large family and as my husband and I are former hostess/server & busboy, we understand the back of the house as well as the front. When my children were little, I would always be sure to bring Cheerios and crayons to keep the children busy and picked up my area of their debris as it is not the servers’ responsibility in my eyes to clean up food that I brought in that they don’t serve. I feel that children are the last bastion of persons that can be legally discriminated against in this country. How do children learn to behave appropriately while dining out and become the next generation of “foodies” if they are relegated to fast food and chain restaurants? I think the problem is not with the children but with their parents who do not discipline them and set up and model appropriate behavioral expectations. While it is his right to set this policy – it doesn’t make it “right!”

Nothing worse than a screaming kid…unless it’s a screaming kid with a dirty diaper seated right behind you. Yup- had that happen a few times in restaurants. Worst part is at least once neither parent was interested in changing the darn thing.

Children can learn to behave appropriately anywhere. That even means a fast food restaurant. We did this with our kids and they graduated to nicer and nicer places as their behavior got better and better. Sorry I don’t buy the whole “well I have to take them someplace nice so they can learn”. You can teach them to behave well anywhere. Yes, my kids had to sit and behave even in kid friendly restaurants.