Roll Up The Sleeves To Win

There used to be a commercial for easy bake something or other, in which a woman knocks together some goodies and serves them up after throwing some flour on her face to make it look like she has been hard at work in the kitchen. Justin Trudeau’s Timbit Nation Tour 2017 brings to mind this easy baker. With the sleeves rolled up, a splash of flour and a well placed tear of axle grease, the PM has morphed into One Of Us. We won’t see him up our way though, this Liberal riding is safe.

Countless middle class aspirants are willingly taking time off from their three jobs in the hope of touching the hem of his garment. There will be no trip to the canapé laden comforts of Davos for Justin this year; he is determined to circulate among The People to get a sense of just what the ordinary Canadians are up to. Genuine tears and fears are being met with the obtuse platitudes we are so used to hearing; a patented circular manoeuvre that sounds like a compliment but is actually a non answer. No charge for selfies either guys, that would be crass.

WHATEVER YOU DO Timbit Nation, don’t ask him about his holiday. Our non fake media are doing a pretty good job of handling that so far. In case you missed it, while you were heading back from Maryam Monsef’s riding of Peterborough-Kawartha in last century’s Corolla in a torrent of unseasonable rain, the Trudeaus were sunning it in outright luxury, having alighted stress free from a private chopper into the arms of the Aga Khan, one of the planet’s nicer billionaires. At least Papa Khan is spreading it around, eh?

Ethics of the chopper trip aside, an improperly vetted journey could lead to doom if the RCMP haven’t checked the baggage compartment for explosives. All billionaires have stepped on someone to get where they are, even if they are perceived to be “nice”. Our Liberal entourage of family and friends could have very easily been collateral damage for someone else’s vendetta. You can bet The Help got there in a boat that parks around the back well out of view, a far safer journey than those notoriously crashy choppers.

No doubt Matt Damon, Shakira and Jamie Oliver, safely ensconced in the Grandhotel Belvédère in Davos, will be wondering where their pal Justin is this year. He’s going to miss out on imparting his Bono approved banter to this year’s theme, which happens to be “rising inequality”. General admission to that gig is $88,000 CDN, double this for the all access pass. Did Justin cover the cost of his ticket last year or is this considered part of the cost of leading the nation? Either way, the savings will spring for a helluva lot of Timbits.