The Oakland bishop picked by Pope Benedict XVI to lead the Roman Catholic archdiocese of San…
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At least, that's what Cordileone told his congregation today as he assumed office as the city's Roman Catholic archbishop.

I know in my life God has always had a way of putting me in my place. I would say, though, that in the latest episode of my life God has outdone himself.

He then chuckled, as there is nothing funnier than a DUI.

Cordileone did at least go on to question his own joke, wondering "if it's theologically correct to say God has a way of making himself known in this way." Sure, there's nothing wrong with implying that driving drunk and putting everyone else on the road at risk is somehow part of God's plan. It's also a lot easier than taking full responsibility for one's actions.

About three dozen gay rights advocates protested the mass outside St. Mary's Cathedral. Cordileone has been called "the architect of Proposition 8" for his role in convincing Catholic organizations to help finance the anti-gay marriage amendment. The archbishop has also spoken out about the "evils" of premarital sex and cohabitation.

Sorry, gays and out-of-wedlock fornicators: your sinful relationships are an affront to God. You know God, right? He's that guy who makes himself known by having his spiritual representatives get arrested for DUIs.