Subject: Words that make Barriers // pamphlet
From: Chris Ambidge
Date: Tue, 9 May 1995 14:33:50 -0400
This is the text of a pamphlet assembled by Integrity/Toronto for
distribution at General Synod 1995 to be held in Ottawa in June 1995.
(a word on typographical conventions: this is #bold# in the
original, this in *italics*. Lines of ==== hyphens here replace
graphics of double lines of bricks)
The terms "promiscuous, bar-hopping, disease-ridden" (concatenated like
that) are a direct quote from Peter Moore speaking to the *Essentials*
conference in Victoria several weeks ago. His followers will recognise
the quote.
I must admit that while I didn't draft this, I do agree with it
{and I'm rather fond of "more study" making it into this list}
Chris
bullfrog to the buttbows )+(
Integrity/Toronto person going to General Synod 1995
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WORDS THAT MAKE BARRIERS
=====
In the present atmosphere in the Church, words are thrown
about to add punch to the expression of opinions. Some words
offend, either intentionally or accidentally. We Church people
have two choices available: either to intensify our use of words
so as to cause maximum injury to our opponents, or to focus on
avoiding offence, so that we can get on with the job of bridge-
building. Integrity chooses the latter course. Here are some of
the words that can offend:
=====
#bigot:# A bigot is a person who "obstinately holds to a belief
or opinion intolerantly of others" (OED). It is not a good use of
this word to label persons whose opinions differ from our own.
The Church's diversity is a guarantee that someone will disagree
with someone else along the way, and we must deal with that.
It sometimes is appropriate to label an attitude bigoted. For
instance, a speaker at a recent conference insisted that lesbigay
persons' decisions about lifestyle must be honoured, and then
added, "but we know that is not God's will." That speaker was
saying that, no matter how hard lesbigay people try to
understand God's will, if it doesn't agree with the speaker's
preconceived notion, it is to be discounted entirely. But if we see
no alternative but to label that attitude bigoted, and ignore it,
perhaps we, too, are being bigoted. Surely, the solution is to
avoid saying "that's not God's will" and to invite discussion about
the difference of opinion.
=====
#faggot, fag, queer, dyke:# These, and many other words
have a long history as put-downs. Lesbigays have retrieved
some of them and made them part of our slang, but we feel that
their use is reserved, much as white people avoid using "nigger"
to describe a black person, even though some blacks use it.
=====
#homosexual, heterosexual:# These are clinical terms
that were devised by psychoanalysts barely a century ago. They
may be useful in a clinical discussion, but many of us resent
having our whole lifestyle defined by one aspect of our lives, and
prefer lesbian, gay man. We tend to use straight to describe
heterosexuals, though some object to that. Should we discuss
that?
By the way, this use of *gay* has been in the language for
hundreds of years, and many of us resist having it censored any
longer. Many scholars agree that *homosexual* in 1 Timothy
and elsewhere is a translation error and distorts the true
meaning of scripture.
=====
#homophobe:# It has become customary to use terms like
this to describe persons who do not support gay lifestyles, and
who search the scriptures to prove their point. The term may be
appropriate in some cases; if it is objectionable, let's discuss it.
=====
#traditionalist:# Some use this term to describe a political
stance in the Church or in society, thus forbidding lesbigays from
upholding the traditions that are important to us. If we need a
term to describe a political stance, it must be less exclusive than
this.
=====
#"our" church:# This phrase surfaces from time to time in
such remarks as "Do we want such people (or such lifestyles) in
our church?" This kind of talk implies that the baptisms of
lesbigays are null and void, and makes the Church into a narrow
club. Hear us proclaim "Our Church, too!"
=====
#family values:# This overworked phrase is used to bash
lesbigays when we propose to make our families. There are
dozens of patterns of family life in the Bible, many of them quite
unacceptable in today's society (such as polygamy). The whole
concept of the family needs discussion.
=====
#pederast:# Gay men are frequently accused of being
child-molesters. We are tired of this libel, and expect Christians
to correct it every time it is heard.
====
#promiscuous, bar-hopping, disease-ridden:# Terms
like these to describe single gays are seen as intentionally
insulting, and can be done without in civilised discourse. It
ignores the fact that most licensed bars cater to heterosexuals
and only a few to gays or lesbians. Many gays stay out of bars,
anyway, but some find them a necessary social space, a
substitute for places where we do not feel welcomed - like
Church
=====
#more study:# Perhaps this isn't an offensive term, but many
of us feel that yet another Church study of homosexuality is not
called for. Some of us will grow old and die with our lives on
hold waiting for a Church decision about us. Many of us feel
forced to get on with vital decisions about our lives, using the
conscience God gave us. We would appreciate being talked
*with* more often, and talked *about* a great deal less.
Participating in a Church study like *Hearing Diverse Voices,
Seeking Common Ground* would go a long way to helping
everyone in the family of God understand their sisters and
brothers, and break down the barriers of words between us.
- - - - end text - - - -
--
Chris Ambidge / ambidge@ecf.utoronto.ca / ambidge@ecf.toronto.edu
Great Green Giant Bullfrog (in the inclusive sense) of God