Note: This version is small and unreadable so click HERE or you're gonna die in world 8-1.

These are the button-by-button instructions on how to beat Super Mario 3 in 11-minutes. I assume they work but I wouldn't know because I can't read and play video games at the same time. As a matter of fact, I can't read and do anything at the same time. Because I never learned to read do anything. What? Tying shoes is for pussies.

Hit the jump for a video of what it looks like if you're doing it right.