October 14, 2009

Two bedtime stories about robots

Just for fun, we will now share two stories from our rolling repertoire of made-up bedtime tales. The first story is a month or two old; the second one we just made up tonight. These stories tend to sort of mutate over time; I'll get bored with something, or Elliot will suddenly demand some change. These are really just snapshots.

once upon a time, there was a robot
who liked to eat ice cream every night before he went to bed.
but as everyone knows,
when a robot eats ice cream, it makes his mouth stick together.
the robot was lying in his bed, almost asleep,
and there was a full moon in the sky,
shining into the room.
and then, coming down the moonbeam, down and down,
a tiny silver beetle
came right into the robot's room
and he sat upon the window pane,
and he said: Robot, robot, awaken
for i am a magical beetle
and i will grant you one wish
anything that you desire, just say it,
and i will give it to you.
and the robot said: Mmffmllnlmnnn.
and the beetle said: What?
and the robot said: Nrmflmflltrrmnmmm!
and the beetle went away.

one night, a few weeks later,
the robot ate his ice cream and went to bed.
it was a full moon that night, a big round moon,
and the moonlight was shining through the window.
the robot was almost asleep
when suddenly a tiny silver beetle came down the moonbeam,
down and down,
right into the robot's room,
and sat upon the windowpane.
and he said: Robot, robot, awaken,
for i am a magical beetle
and i will grant you one wish,
anything you desire, just say it.
and the robot said: Flmrnmlmnrlrmr.
and the beetle said: What was that again?
and the robot said: Wflmnrrrmnrrrmlm!
and the beetle said: I don't understand what you're saying!
and he left.

well, a few weeks later,
the robot was about to eat his ice cream,
but he discovered
that there was only one spoonful of ice cream left
in the whole house.
and he said: Only one spoonful of ice cream in the whole house??
and he ate that spoonful of ice cream,
and he went to bed.
the robot was almost asleep,
when suddenly the full moon came out from behind a cloud.
and down the bright moonbeam came
a silver beetle, down and down
right into the robot's room,
and sat
upon the windowpane.
and he said: Robot, robot, awaken,
for i am a magical beetle
and i will grant you one wish,
anything you desire--
and the robot said: I WANT SOME ICE CREAM PLEASE!
and so the beetle gave him a big bowl of ice cream
and it was
delicious.

once upon a time there was a robot who had nowhere to live.

he mostly walked around the town.

one day, he came across an old house in a field.

it was old and broken down.

he said (in a robot voice): HELLO HOUSE

the house said, hi, robot.

the robot said: HOW ARE YOU

the house said, well, i feel little bit sad. my front door is all broken down.

the robot said: DON'T WORRY I'LL FIX IT FOR YOU

and the robot jogged back into town

(clomp clomp clomp)

and he found a big wooden door in a dumpster.

but it was a little too big for the house,

so he turned his arm into a saw, and he cut it to the right size.

then he put it over his shoulder, and he jogged back to the field.

and he put in the new front door.

the house said, thank you!

now i have a new, beautiful front door made of wood.

and the robot said: YOU'RE WELCOME

the house said, but i'm still a little bit sad.

I have lots of broken window panes.

the robot said: I CAN FIX THAT

and the robot jogged away, down the road, to the beach.

(clonk clonk clonk)

and when he got there, he turned his arm into a laser.

he melted down some sand,

and turned it into brand new window panes for the house.

then he carried the windows panes over his head,

and he jogged back to the field.

he put the new windows into the house.

and the house was very happy.

the house said, thank you, robot! that is so much better.

now i have no broken windows.

the robot said: NO PROBLEM

the house said, but i'm still a little bit sad.

i have holes in my roof, so when it rains,

the rain comes inside.

the robot said: I KNOW WHAT TO DO

and the robot jogged into the forest.

(crunch crunch crunch)

he found some reeds, and he turned his arm into a scythe.

he cut the reeds, and he bound them together, and he made a

whole new roof for the house. he rolled up the roof,

and he carried it back to the field.

he ripped the old roof right off the house,

and he rolled on the new reed roof.

wow! said the house.

i feel so much better now!

thank you, thank you for fixing me up.

the robot said: IT WAS NO TROUBLE

but then the house said, you know, i'm still a little bit sad.

and the robot said: WHY IS THAT

and the house said, i'm sad because no one lives here.

i'm an empty house.

would you like to live here?

and the robot was very happy, and he said: YES

and he moved into the house,

and they were friends.

This was the first night I told this story, and Elliot already has changes he wants to make. He said, "Next night, can it have a mama in it? And can they all go to the beach?"