Anyone who mistakenly punches the wrong ballot hole must be a moron. Right?

I WAS DISCUSSING the 2000 Presidential election with a Republican friend. This guy has been certified to be an Intelligent Voter, so he must know what he’s talking about. Here’e his take on the voters in Florida who claim they were befuddled by the butterfly ballot:

Only a senile senior or an idiot could be duped by a simple ballot—never mind that the ballot violates the most elementary design rules taught in Usability 101. Of course, if I were one of the disenfranchised thousands, I’d have the decency to shrug, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”

cartoon of a woman shredding a paper in frustration

Anyone who claims they mistakenly punched “Buchanan” for Gore either can’t spell, is lying, or didn’t care much about who sits in the Oval Office. Newscasts showing voters sobbing outside the polling stations? Hel-lo: Florida = alligators = crocodile tears.

I’m so much smarter than those Palm Beach morons that when filling out a form, I’ve never…

printed my name, address, or phone number one line above the correct block,