Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ode to Border Patrol

On eastbound interstate 8 one nightI encountered an all too familiar sightA random checkpoint, like you’d expect to seeIn the USSR or Nazi Germany

Why do I have to stop and show my papers. Hey!Aren’t we still in the USA?I haven’t crossed any borders todayIn fact, isn’t Mexico 50 miles away?

We have to search you, for our dog has said,“Woof! Woof! He has drugs or a body that’s dead!”“I’d like to know what that means, if I may!”But the dog was quickly ushered away

And if we’re still living in a free nation…Where’s your warrant upon oath or affirmation?Aren’t these the rights for which our forefathers died?“Why not let them search you, if you’ve nothing to hide?”

This isn’t liberty; the way you behaveWould make the founding fathers roll over in their graveDon’t you love America; what makes you so boldTo trample the constitution you’re sworn to uphold?

Have Jefferson and Adams been forever replaced?By Janet Napolitano’s ugly face!Has Homeland Security reached new heightsThat it supersedes the Bill of Rights?!

That I’m an American is plain to seeYou’ve already run my plates and know I live in Tempe!I’m an American citizen on my way home from workIf I won’t consent to searches, does that make me a jerk?

I’m not required by law to open this door!I’m protected by amendments five and four!My pleas were met with a laugh and a jeer“Don’t you get it? your rights don’t matter here”

“We’ll search without a warrant, and if you won’t say ‘yes’Then we’ll just call the DPS!”So the DPS arrives on the sceneIn order to assist the federal goons in green

Officer, I’m innocent; What have I done!If I’ve broken a law, then please name one!Be reasonable, officer, will it really hurt?To bring the dog back out and see if it will alert?

Do you protect the citizens of Arizona anymore?Or have you simply become the federal government’s whore?But the Border Patrol knew the truth, you seeThey knew that dog wouldn’t alert to me

“I’ll place you under arrest, if you won’t bowFor failure to obey me right now!I told you before, I’m an officer of the lawWhen I say ‘jump,’ you say ‘how high’

“In fact, by now you’ve sealed your fateI’ll tase you for twenty seconds straight!”Unfortunately I was fooled by Agent Diaz’s lies“There’s gonna be glass, so cover your eyes!”

He really just wanted me not to seeThe ambush to my left being laid for meOfficer Mitchell broke the passenger window with a smileThen decided he might as well tase me for a while

The border patrol’s five swings of the batonAnd now my driver’s side window was gone!And as the electricity continually flowedMy driver’s side window began to explode

And because he felt I had given him sassAgent Spoonamore shoved my face in the broken glass!My head was pressed into the glass on the doorBlood gushed out of every pore

I remembered a quote from a book I had read1984, and here’s what it said:“If you want to know the future of the human raceJust picture a boot stamping upon a human face”

They finally searched my car, and what did they find?No drugs, no bodies, and nothing of the kind“Then they let you go, I assume?”No, my next stop was the emergency room

So after all the stitches were added to my headAnd the nurses had cleaned up all the places I’d bledI was taken to the station of the DPSThen from there to the jail where I was told to undress

They had underwear in two sizes: extra-large and smallSo I took extra-large and made my single phone callI was put into cell where the lights are on 24-sevenAnd lay down to sleep with my stitches eleven.

And so we’ve reached the end of my taleMe sleeping soundly in the county jailWhat was my crime? What had I done?I stood up for my rights as an American.