Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This week is going by soooo slow! I think I'm just really excited for my appointment on thursday. I can't wait to take the next step on our journey. I really hope we can just do something to finally make me O! So far for this cycle I think I'm cd13 today and all my opks have been negative so far, but that's no suprise since I average such long cycles! Even if I have another long cycle (praying for a short normal one) I'm going to keep up with my OPK's every single day so I can know for sure!

That's not the complete 'full' list I'm sure, but I think those are pretty much the ones I use, or might use.

Anyways, thursday I go back to my OBGYN to find out the results for all of the PCOS testing we had done. I'm like 99% sure I have it since all the symptoms for PCOS I have. I think our next step would probably be to be put on Clomid or something like that, so that's pretty exciting. I'll update on thursday and let everyone know how my appointment went!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Today officially marks exactly 9 months of TTC, and I'm kinda bummed out... I've only had ONE normal period in those 9 months! All day today I've just been thinking like wow, 9 months, We could have had an actual baby here by now. WHERE ARE YOU BABY? Just a blah day.

Monday, March 23, 2009

One of the girls on my messageboards found this and it made me feel so much better.

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!

Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.

Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.

A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.

Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!

Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Yuck...I don't feel well. This has got to be the worst AF I've ever had. I don't know why. It's never this bad for me, and I'm wondering if it's because of the provera or I don't know what. I was up getting sick all last night and my stomach hurt so bad. Super bad cramps too. I actually stayed home from work today because I feel so sick. My stomach is so queasy like. And this morning I had to get my bloodwork done, so here I sit at home just sippin OJ. At least it's all for a good cause. Blechhh..

CD 74!!!! Yes I said 74!! I took my last Provera pill on saturday, and still no sign of AF! I've been having alot of cramping, but nothing, zip, zilch! I'm starting to get impatient. I'm probably the only person on earth TTC that wants AF to come now! Knowing my luck, she'll probably come on friday, placing my CD 3 on sunday, which would completely suck, since the place I have to get my blood drawn at on CD 3 is closed on Sat & Sun. Grrrrrr very Grrrrrr!

I woke up around 8:15 to start drinking my 32oz of water. By 9:30 I could really start feeling the effects lol. Mike came home from work to take me to my ultrasound appointment at like 9:45. We got there at around 9:55, and from drinking all the water I was in so much pain. I couldn't even sit down in the waiting room, I had to stand because when I sat it felt like I was going to pee my pants. It got to the point around 10:05 that I started feeling really nautious, and asked the nurse how much longer we'd have to wait and told her I felt like I was either going to throw up or pee my pants, so she went to see it the ultrasound tec could get me in right then and told me to go to the bathroom and pee for only ten seconds then cut it off lol. As hard as that sounds, it felt so much better just to let a little bit out. When I was done, she said they could take me back right then, so I went in and layed down and the ultrasound tec (UT) Started the external ultrasound, and then said my bladder was really full and that I might have to let more out, but she continued and said it might be okay. It was a little uncomfortable since my bladder was still really full and she was pushing right down on it. So she finished up and told me to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder completely (phew!)

So I came back and she had us hang out for about 5 minutes, then had me go again since my bladder had to be completely empty for the internal ultrasound.

The internal was a little bit more uncomfortable since she had to push the wand kinda hard around my cervix. So she did that for a while and then she said I HAVE FOLLIES!! Woo-hoo! I was sure I didn't have any. She said I don't have alot but there are a few there. She also said I have a large cyst in my right ovary and 2 in my left ovary. She also said that It kinda looked like I might be about to "O" which is wierd because I'm on the Provera. (which by the way AF hasn't come yet.)

So it kinda sucks about the 3 cysts I have but I am happy that even though I don't have many, I do have a few follies in there!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I've been reading up more on PCOS and all the symptoms sound so much like things I have, I'm hoping its just a random fluke.

I only have 4 more days of the Provera, and AF STILL hasn't come yet (cmon any day now!) I'm excited/nervous of my ultrasound on Thursday... Excited to be able to actually see my ovaries, but nervous to see anything bad. I'm staying positive though!

My cousin is having her baby tomorrow, and I'm SO excited for her! She and her husband are going to be awesome parents, so everyone keep them in your prayers for tomorrow!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I had my Dr. Appt today and I LOVE my new doctor! We talked for a long time and she did a quick little exam. She ended up putting me on Provera to induce my period for this month. She also said that I have alot of symptoms for PCOS so she ordered all kinds of tests for that. When I'm taking the Provera, whenever CD3 for me is, I have to go in that morning and get blood work done. I'm trying to figure out how long it will take, from the time I actually start my first Provera pill to the day I actually start my period (CD1) becuase I have to make sure my CD3 will be a day that the lab is open...Anyone taken it??? She also ordered a pelvic exam and I have that appointment next thusday the 12th. That morning my appt is at 10:15...at 8:15 that morning I have to start drinking alot of water...32 oz to be exact. My water has to be finished at 9:15...and then I HAVE TO HOLD IT TILL 10:15!!! OMG that sounds like it's gonna be the most fun I've ever had... =T

I'm very excited! I feel like now for real we are doing something that is really putting us one step closer in our TTC journey!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

...I'll be at my Dr's appt!!! I'm so excited to find out what's going on. I don't know why but I have so many emotions right now. I'm scared and nervous and excited and happy and hopefull all at the same time. Kinda feel jittery inside. I hope we can maybe run some tests or she can just go right ahead and try and induce me (praying for that)! Ever since I was younger, like back when I first started I have ALWAYS been so irregular, and all doctors ever did was try and put me on BC and then take me off to regulate! It was always the same..."oh you're young and healthy, we'll just throw you on ortho lo and take you off in a year and you'll be fine." Well about a million times of trying that it never worked. I NEVER want to be on BC ever again. I feel like it's screwed me up a little bit. And I'm gonna tell her that tomorrow, because if that's what she wants to do to try and "solve" this, I'd rather not thankyouverymuch.

Mike and I had a long heart to heart last night sitting out on our new patio furniture talking about adoption, which we are both for. I know it's a little bit early to be thinking about that, but I'm just glad that we are both on the same wave length. I've been thinking about it alot lately, and I think even if we are able to have our own childern, we'd like to adopt anyways. We talked about where we would adopt from, and we'd probably have an international adoption, either from Russia or Poland or some slavik country. We've been kinda reading up on it, and although it's alot of work, we think it would be worth it to give a child a better life. Anyhow, just wanted to jot that down.

Send me prayers for tomorrow so I won't be so nervous!

A

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.-- Louisa May Alcott

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Monday, March 2, 2009

Well in 5 minutes I will be on CD 60. I really don't know how I stay sane lately. I try to be so positive, but sometimes on the inside I'm really a mess.

We went to watch the Spurs kill the Clippers at the Staple Center tonight with my parents and some family friends, and my dad's BFF's (lol) company owns a suite, and it was sooo awesome! The game not so much, but the suite was amazing with a fully stocked bar and food waiting for us when we got there. It was nice to get out and not think about things for a while, because I feel like when I'm at home all I can think about is ttc.

Maybe we need to get out more! lol

2 and 1/2 days till my OBGYN appt, where hopefully we can induce my period!!! Woo-hoo!

About Me

Welcome! I'm Amy, a late 20 something Polish-Italian Catholic dealing with infertility. I married the love of my life on May 24th 2008 and we decided to start trying for children on June 24th 2008. It's been a hard road, but we have been finally blessed with a positive pregnancy test on June 19th 2010, almost exactly 2 years to the day we started trying. I don't always censor myself on this blog. Read what you like or none at all...but this is my story about my "Miracle in the Making".