Exactly what it says on the tin.

YSaC, Vol. 514: It's all clear now.

Madame X - w4m

I have this assignment about The Portrait of Madame X by John Singer Sargent, but I am a foreigner and I dont know
where to start.
Can someone help me on making an outline for the essay?
The keypoints are shown in the picture.

First of all, this was listed in Strictly Platonic, so we know that our enterprising student isn't going to trade sexual favors for this service.

Really, it's perfectly fine of her to ask for some help. After all, she's a foreigner, and foreign countries don't require schoolwork, or research abilities, or the ability to create an outline, so how is she expected to know how to do these things unless an American helps her?

I'm sure if I enlarge the picture, I'll be able to read the text so I can help our foreign friend with her assignment.

Oh. Hmmm. Maybe she'll be better off plagiarizing something off the internet. Or she can always ask this guy for help. Or she could use a random postmodernism generator to come up with something.

Having read it over again, I agree. It's written well, and while "she" doesn't directly claim problems with the language, you have to wonder precisely what her "problem" is with writing the essay. Other than the fact that it's work, of course.

Lola, I'm not so sure. Do you think an American would be able to spell like this on CL? Nope. Physically impossible. Probably a foreigner, because while they may have accents, at least they're technically correct more than we are...

Responding to Igor:
I didn't say that her helper's native language was English. That's why she couldn't get her helper to write her essay for her; they are an ELL, too. Just two foreigners, sitting around in their bras and panties, brushing each others hair, experimenting with each other sexually, and waiting for a big, strong man to do their homework for them. Will you ride up on your white horse to rescue them and then have a pillow fight?

The whole ad is made of FAIL. She left a cyber-trail leading right back to her door. She could have found a legitimate tutor on campus, so we know she really wants someone to write the essay for her. If you can't write the outline then you can't write the essay either.

Uhm, what? I wasn't saying anything about a helper.
I was talking to Lola. What I was saying was that it was probably more likely that a foreigner wrote this ad because even if they're not terribly good at English, they usually do a lot better with our grammar than we do... And as for this bit: "Just two foreigners, sitting around in their bras and panties, brushing each others hair, experimenting with each other sexually, and waiting for a big, strong man to do their homework for them. Will you ride up on your white horse to rescue them and then have a pillow fight?"

A) Totally unrealistic, but that would be pretty awesome. B) What the fuck? You're sounding like something straight out of /b/.

You know, I thought the stereotype was that foreign students always were the hardest workers. With this and my S.O.'s former roommates (one of whom disappeared from school and we still get calls about from immigration, one of whom would come in drunk and force my SO out of his own bed), I'm starting to highly doubt this. If I can't believe in stereotypes, what CAN I believe in?!

You can always believe... in TOMORROW... Bet yer bottom dollar that tomorrooooowwww....
Oh, right. Nothing. My quote in psych class: "Although, if you're sure you're being open-minded about something, then you're not being open-minded about your open-mindedness. Therefore, you're being close-minded. I think the only way to ever be right about anything is to never claim you're definitely sure or correct about anything..."

Lola and Jenny, I didn't think of this before, but they both apply. If you're so desperately dedicated to the belief that you're A) sane and B) right, then you're probably either wrong or being right ineffectively...

The scan is a visual representation of her fuzzy grasp on the English language, which is perfectly understandable being a foreigner and all. And of course she does not know how to do an outline. Come on, in Soviet Russia essay outline you.

I have a print of this painting hanging in my house right now (and can go see it in the museum here with minimal effort), no joke, and am a Sargent fan, and wouldn't lift a finger to help this lazy cow no matter what country she was from. What a lazy-ass.
A friend who asked for help understanding a critical text and/or help with editing a paper so that it read better would be one thing; I've helped with both ("help" being the critical concept, not "do"). This chick? Wants you to do the work for her. For that, she can twist in the wind for all I care.

Well, you know, Sargent WAS an AMERICAN artist. Just as we Amurkins can't understand all them sculptures and drarwrings and sech like over in the Yurp, them Yurpeens cain't unnerstan OUR Illustrious Artistes!

But then, she needs an outline. And only has keypoints. Ummm, I think my AP English teacher would beath this chica down with a thesaurus!

At least she's not crying home to mommy because the assignment is too hard and either having mommy call and complain or having mommy do it for them.

True story: my own mom (who wouldn't stand up for me unless I was comatose or possibly dead) picked up her first undergrad class as an econ professor two years ago. She had an analysis assignment that was given TWO MONTHS before it was due, talked about at least once a week in class, and when she failed a student who didn't turn it (or anything else) in, she actually got threats on our home phone from his mom. Scary as hell.

I can't stand/don't understand parents like that. Mine would have said, "It's your fault, you knew it was coming, and you didn't prepare! You had time to ask for help! What's wrong with you?!?" All valid points and questions. I suspect, based on personal observation, that these parents are overly-invested in the success of their children and either push them too much to do things they can't, or the kid figures out that they can screw off and mommy/daddy will throw their weight around and get them out of it and so doesn't try. Possibly both. The only time they would have gotten behind me over a grade would have been if I had been able to demonstrate via marked papers that my grade should have been significantly better than what I got (even figuring in class participation, etc.), and even then they would have been supportive, not proactive like that mom.

Weird. My parents would (at most) e-mail the teacher asking if I could turn it in a day late and get some credit. And that was sixth grade.
And Arallyn, I don't think I'd stand for someone threatening me or my friends/family with violence like that. I'd probably either drive them insane or get them to try it on me first.

Well, she reported it to the dean and went about her business. The kid wasn't punished for his mom's actions, but was put on academic probation because um...he sucked at school anyway. Nothing ever came of it, and we're not the type to go to the police to dignify ridiculous threats.

Hi. I'm the OP. As I chick, it didn't offend me that she was looking for a male to complete her assignment. Why? Because I think she has no fucking idea what W4M means. Maybe she thinks it's American code for "Write 4 Me!" or something. Do you think she understands the meaning of "Strictly Platonic"? "Platonic? Must have something to do with Plato. There sure are a lot of academic types on Craig's List. Maybe someone can help me with my outline. After that, maybe I can pay someone to take my LSATs for me."

The confusion about "W4M" seems possible, but "platonic" applied to relationships is not used only in English ("relación platónica" in Spanish, for instance). In fact, I think it must be a very widespread expression, so it's difficult to believe that she was confused about that part.

You may have to clear your cache or - as happens in my case - sign off and sign on again. I can see at the side preview that it's different from what I see here (it's done that for me before, too), so you probably did do it right. It will eventually appear.

When you aren't familiar with something and don't know where to start, the beginning is always an option--especially when dealing with outlines. Another less tested option is to take a lousy picture of the subject matter, log onto your Craigslist account, and try to get someone else to [platonically] do it for you.

"I am a foreigner" reminds me of a T shirt worn by John McEnroe once which read "There's no such thing as a stranger in paradise". The word student derives from the verb "to study" ie do the f*ing assignment yourself. Now I know why I left university teaching

That whole story is kind of horrible and fascinating. I have busted a lot of plagiarists in my time, but none of them ever gave me a paper that referred to Dharma & Greg or included the sentence "I made a doody."