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Family Visit Quota

It’s that time of year where I must complete my tour of family visits in the state of Colima. It was expected that I do one at least every month but after I regulated my family for giving me a hard time, I’ve limited it to 3 a year. That’s my quota and I’m sticking to it.

Before you judge and confuse me for inconsiderate, let me point out the facts. First of all, I have enough cousins to make my own soccer league. I’ll let you simmer on that one for a bit… It’s impossible to get to know and to want to make time for each and every one of them. If I did, by the time I finish the first tour of family visits, those family members at the beginning of the tour are already complaining about why I haven’t visited them in such a long time!

Secondly, much of the time spent with family is focused on lecturing me for not visiting them. It’s no fun and could lead me down the path of alcoholism.

Thirdly, several of them owe me money. I know I will never get it back but showing up at their house and seeing how bad some of them have it is a great setup for getting me to open my wallet. I hate lying so maybe I should just take all my money out, show up with an empty wallet, open it, extend my hands way out and do a slow 360.

Lastly, I have a life. What I do with it is my business and even if you were my mother I wouldn’t tell ya.

But on the real, it’s not fair to get crap from family. Just because I don’t have kids, am independent and live alone they expect me to show up to their house. I CHOSE (and continue to choose) not to have kids so I can afford this luxury called “free time”. Besides, they know where I live and can easily drop by as well (and some do at the most inconvenient times, but the ones that do are the ones not complaining about why I don’t visit). Life is filled with many contradictions…