Ooh! Ooh! Have you ever seen that special about the guy with the exploding arms? Literally, he took so many steroids and pumped his arms so big that they popped -- on film. Squee! Now that's a look that'll attract the ladies!

Man, lactating Capri Sun would be helpful is so many situations! Hot day on the beach? Outside with no vending machine in sight? Sitting on your couch watching TV and don't want to get up? Not to worry, Extreme Muscle Product will help you lactate Capri Sun so you can not only be incredibly awesome, but also quench your own thirst in a completely efficient, yet slightly questionable way.

Haha Allie, you are my idol. I have linked all of my friends to your blog and they all think you are hilarious, too. I'm creepily reading through all of your old posts because I'm that obsessed. I can't wait until you completely take over the internet and all I see are your paint drawings as advertisements on every site I go to, and maybe a TV show, comic book and calendar too.

Noelle - For sure it's Surfer Cool. And yes, we need to hang out. Duncan and I might be going up to Missoula this weekend for a race, so maybe then?

ALH - That makes me feel fantastic!

Sam - There are a lot of explosions. And I think about animals a lot.

Ashton - Yaaayy! I was beginning to think that the Extreme Muscle Product post was a bad idea or that I was overestimating how funny it was.

uncorked - I think it comes from staying up too late and mostly subsisting off of tortillas and coffee.

Essence B - Yes! It's like they're elephant seals or something!

Anonymous - I love drawing pictures and I feel like sometimes I can say what I'm intending to say with pictures better than I can with words. I will always present things in the way that I think is funniest. Yesterday, there were lots of words. Today, only a few.

Hey lady! I have only recently been brought to the Utopian bliss that is being a reader of your blog. My only humble request is that there may be a different way to archive your past blogs, for those of us that must catch up. I fit as many past blogs into my lunch breaks and other in-between states as possible, but much of that is scrolling down, collapsing and expanding the year/month columns, etc.. Little help?

The dolphin part makes a lot of sense to me; when I first saw his AFTER picture, I thought he looked kind of like a shark or other large sea creature.

I'm so sick of seeing these commercials. They always go into overdrive this time of year, so that everyone who wants "beach bodies" can get ripped off. Then again, if you're dumb enough to think a pill or drink is the magic cure...

That reminded me of the Power Thirst video... the ONLY funny thing College Humor has produced in it's life time of wasting bandwidth. In fact, that video made me stomp my foot and slap my knee, which are not normal behaviors for me as I'm not 97... what that was saying is... Awesome job.

Reading "1-800-giantbulgingmandolphin" has made my life 10x better. I am proud to follow you Allie.

omg....can i somehow attach a siphon to your brain that allows me to have some of that awesome genius juice that flows through it???? I want to like...drink it and bathe in it and go scuba diving in your awesomeness (only with the super power of being able to breathe while submerged, naturally....)

hrm...i'm pretty sure that ENTIRE concept I just stated is mostly likely really creepy. (and slightly stolen from one of the x-men movies, altho THAT brain juice was used for evil, not awesomeness....)But that's okay. We have an understanding, you and I. (right?.....RIGHT??????) LOL

Second...Fuck people. You write your shit because you enjoy it and because you enjoy entertaining people. Which it does. Look, co-incidences happen, but that doesn't mean you are copying, stealing, borrowing, or whatever. People need to learn that thoroughout history, there have been times when people have had the same thought at the same time as someone else. It doesn't mean they are copying, or even inspired by someone else. Who's to say they aren't copying you? Just like that dumb bitch who stole your pictures.Anyway, google the invention of...I think it was the invention of the jet engine...If I remember right, two guys in two completely different countries applied for the patent at the same time without ever being aware of each other.

And finally, whatever comes after Secondly....That brick shit is funny. Funnier than balls on a snowman.

Look, the best compliment I can pay you is this....Not only are you one of my favorite bloggers, but one of the only ones I NEVER skim any posts of.

P.S. You totally stole that flipping the bird toon from my stickman.....just sayin....HA

A friend on mine facebooked me your blog while we were bored in class, and I almost wish he didn't, because I started snorting uncontrollably and basically very obvious in my non-paying-attentionness. But now I'm totally glad he did, because you are possibly the most hilarious and entertaining female I have ever encountered. I 100% support you in your endeavour to be net-famous...if other bloggers (much less talented and interesting than you are) can do it, you certainly deserve it.