Thursday, January 21, 2010

So what about the Masturbating Bear?

So NBC is finally wrapping up the Conan O'Brien debacle and, after a break for the Olympics, will head into another three months of critical headlines about the mediocrity of Jay Leno when he gets the timeslot back. Conan and his people played it well-- a lot better than he played as host of The Tonight Show, which we all stopped watching after the first week (he never should have brought back Andy Richter-- it was a retreat to the infantile comedy he did in the early days of The Late Show, not even Letterman does the hip "irony" thing anymore, and Conan didn't click as a full-fledged talent until after he dumped the playacting sidekick and went solo). The only question that matters is whether NBC gets to keep the "intellectual property rights" to his sketches which would mean it's the last anyone will ever see of The Masturbating Bear.

One thing the saga did demonstrate was how the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com is consistently wrong in its reporting and how dangerous it is for lazy paid mainstream journos to use it as a source. From its ever-shifting details of the contents and timing of the settlement, the site and its shaved bronzed midget frontman made it clear that, as when they rolled the dice in reporting the death of Michael Jackson prematurely, they make shit up, and as long as they have supporters like Brian Stelter at the New York Times to give them attribution and feature stories whenever they happen to be correct, they're golden.

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"Sad, funny, undeniably authentic, Tabloid Baby tells the tale of what befell too much of mainstream television news over the past couple of decades as the bad drove out the good."
--Mike Wallace, 60 Minutes

"Burt was there for the birthing of tabloid, he became the heart of the genre, and now he's written the bible."
--Maury Povich

"Dear Burt: While you always had quite a flair for the dramatic, you never had much regard for the truth... Apparently you can't be bothered to read anything carefully. Maybe that is why you, like O'Reilly, make half your crap up.
Glad to hear you finally got sober." -- Barry Nolan, 04.12.08