A former offensive tackle for the Kansas City Chiefs and New England Patriots is opening up about his personal life in a new interview with Outsports.

Ryan O'Callaghan spent five seasons in the NFL. O'Callaghan said he had always used football as a way to hide his true self from the world.

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"No one is going to assume the big football player is gay," he said. "It’s why a football team is such a good place to hide.

O'Callaghan spent much of his time off the field hiding a part of his life from his teammates, even going so far as to avoid showering with other players by going to drink coffee after every practice.

The California native details the dark road he set out on by hiding his personal life, describing a dependence on painkillers to numb both his physical and emotional pain.

At one point he says he considered taking his own life at the end of his football career.

He eventually opened up about his struggles to a Susan Wilson, a consulting psychologist with the NFL who counselled players on drug abuse.

"It took a while to build up that strength to even tell her, O'Callaghan said. "You have to build up trust with someone. Just telling her was like a huge weight off my shoulders."

The 33-year-old says Wilson eventually convinced him to come out to those closest to him.

"Was it great at the beginning?" he said. "No. Did everyone totally understand what it meant to be gay? No. But they knew what my alternative was. I told people close to me that I planned on killing myself. So at that point, no one cared. They were just happy that I was alive."

Since his last NFL game in 2011, O'Callaghan has moved back to his hometown of Redding, Calif. He says it has taken some time, but he has finally embraced himself.

He now has a new purpose in life, helping other struggling LGBT people.

"People need to understand that we are everywhere. We’re your sons, your daughters, your teammates, your neighbors. And honestly, even some of your husbands and wives. You just don’t know it yet.