Transforming Tough into Triumph!!!
Grab what makes you comfortable and curl up with the advice, blessings, musings, photos, quotes, and links that are presented to inspire, motivate, encourage, strengthen you.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Here are a few jokes I found and wanted to share. Please post a (clean) joke you like (even if you think it's an old one we've all heard before!!) in the comments section below.

Super Granny

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it!

Get out of the car you dirty rotten scoundrels!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.

The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.
(True story!)

(found at http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Super-Granny.html)

Area 51

You've heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

(found at http://www.jokesclean.com/Flying/)

Cheap Therapy

Joan went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," she said, "I've got big troubles. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. Am I going crazy?"
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Joan. six months later the doctor met Joan on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? No way! Instead, I went on one of those 'Dude Ranch' vacations, and an old cowboy cured me for the price of a bottle of whiskey."

"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!
Ain't nobody under there now!!!"(found at http://www.danggoodjokes.com/cheap-therapy/)

Thursday, March 03, 2011

I knew a guy who loved Rock 'n Roll. He was in a band that was popular in the clubs on Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. His band recorded an album. Then they filmed a music video that closed Sunset Boulevard for the night. I asked him if that was his dream come true. He said yes.

His band never went any further. Outside of the locals that knew about it, no one's even heard of the band. Does that mean he never "made it"? He had that dream come true. As he grew as a person, new ideas about how he wanted to build his life became important. He has gone on to touch lives in a meaningful way. He's "made it." Only it just looks different than he expected.

Someone shared something about prayer that I thought was pretty wonderful. When you ask God for something there are three possible answers: "Yes", "Not yet", and "I have something better for you!"

When things don't work out as you originally hoped, planned, and prayed, never lose heart! It could just be that there is more that needs to ripen, and it could be that there's really something better for you.

Keep taking the steps to create what you want in life. Even little steps that feel too easy are great! They move you forward. Lots of little, easy-shmeasy steps add up. One, and then another.

It starts in your thoughts and heart, you dream, then you take action. You can do this!

We all know that caterpillars turn into butterflies, right? We know they spin a cocoon and then, some time later out pops a butterfly. But what’s happening inside the cocoon?

Once the caterpillar is snug in his cocoon, his entire body breaks down. It becomes a kind of a glob of liquidy “soup” that would not look like anything to us, much less a butterfly. Then, when all looks lost, a few cells, called imaginal cells spark the process that will turn that soup into a butterfly. The process has begun and the butterfly is formed!

It can be just like that for us humans in a way too. Sometimes it feels like life is breaking down all around you and things seem like they are all a mess. That is when you can remember that you are simply in your caterpillar soup!

Trust that the down times will not last, things will shift. Let the “imaginal cells” of your mind spark the visions of the good this world has for you (even if you can’t seem to find it right now).

Love,

Aunt Laya

With gratitude to morguefile.com and users xandert and jusben for the really great photos!

About Me

I love to connect with people and make a positive difference in this world. No one gets a life without challenges. Some people seem to have more than their fair share. It’s my mission to ease the way for who ever I can. So, I wrote a book titled "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way--What I Wish Someone Had Told Me." It’s the book I wish someone had written for me when I was searching as a teen, because I learned way too much “the hard way.” If you're interested you can read some of that on my website (check out the links below) or on the book's page on Amazon.com. (If you click on 'surprise me' it will get you to other places in the book if you want to read more.)
I love being married and I love being a mom. I love my dog and cat and chickens. If you search around the blog, I've got photos of my dog and cat posted. There's more than one dog and cat here though. Hint: my dog and cat are have the same color fur. :-)
Enjoy!
Aunt Laya