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Tuesday, 07 May 2013

The War Between Autocorrect and Spellcheck (OT)

Just recently, my email program has (via iOsmosis, I assume) acquired autocorrect—the first time I've ever used any writing program with that feature. I'm sure I'm very far from the first person to notice this, but autocorrect's function seems to be a) to correct some typing mistakes and b) make all the rest invisible to spellcheck!

When I type "I'll give him a noodge," I do not mean "I'll give him a noodle," which is what autocorrect serenely assumed I was trying to type. "Noodle," of course, while very much the wrong word, meets with spellcheck's wholehearted approval, so it then doesn't bother to...well, give me a noodge.

Any autocorrection program that doesn't countenance neo-Yiddish word variants and compounds is not being expansive enough. All things considered, if I get something wrong (which I often do—have I ever mentioned that I can't type? Really, I'm a horrible typist), I'd like at least a chance to give it my actual conscious sentient attention.

The word 'pro' jumps the sharkAnd as long as we're completely off topic, I think we can safely assume that the marketing word "pro" is now completely, utterly, 100% meaningless. If it wasn't already. Observed on a set of bedsheets at a Bed, Bath & Beyond store: "Sleep like a PRO!"

That's schmegeggy. If sleeping is a profession, I wanna know—that's going to be my next job.

Mike

Original contents copyright 2013 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)Featured Comments from:

Steve G, Mendocino: "Well, you could apply for 'Lil Abner's old job as Mattress Tester for
the Stunned Ox Mattress Company....
Seriously, spellchecking and autocorrection have no place in either
professional or creative writing. Up until a short time ago I worked in
the Composing department of a couple of weekly newspapers, and we made a
habit of collecting howlers that passed spellchecking without question.
A favorite was a headline in another paper that announced the
'beautification' of some worthy on their path to canonization.
Well-thumbed copies of Webster's and the AP manual were kept close at
hand."

Martin: "I understand there is a profession for which bedsheets could be
considered a business consumable, but I'd think a wholesome respectable
family store would want to disassociate themselves from such things...."

Bron: "Not schmegeggy, meshuggah. Really."

David Stubbs: "It should be called AutoCorrupt."

Paul Bartlett: "I imagine you've seen Damn You Autocorrect, or that someone else has already pointed it out."

Mike replies: Very funny! Some of those really made me "lol." Thanks.

Pritam Singh: "The swath that the word 'pro' cuts has ever been widening and has
reached ridiculous heights, as you have rightly observed. Hunter S.
Thompson contributed to its widening meaning (read: usage) a quantum
jump in the '70s with the following line: 'When the going gets weird, the
weird turn pro.'
It was a catchy line then. Modern-day tinkerers have beaten the little
word out of any meaningful substance."

Matt: "If you thons autocorrectif si à pain In English, Troy Boeing bilingues
and accidentelle Stuart typions with tour keyboard set to thé Wright
Language.
(If you think autocorrect is a pain in English, try being bilingual and
accidentally start typing with your keyboard set to the wrong language.)"

Dear Mike,
Kimberly Clark sells a "Pro" version of a paper towel dispenser (think next to the sink in a public facility). I refuse to think about what an "Amateur" or perhaps "Pedestrian" version would offer. It is difficult to imagine washing ones hands would be a professional skill set.
I don't want to think about this any longer.
Sincerely,
Chris Kleihege

"If sleeping is a profession, I wanna know—that's going to be my next job."

In probably the most famous cartoon strip of the 40s and 50s, Al Capp's "Li'l Abner," Li'l Abner (the main character) was the "mattress tester" at the Dogpatch mattress factory, which meant, of course, that his job was to sleep. Just thought you'd want to know that there are some possibilities out there.

You could be mistaken in the assumption that "PRO" is short for "Professional".
I can think of another word it is often used for on the eastern side of the pond that is more closely associated with beds (but maybe not sleep).

I just bought a new 27" iMac with the Mountain Lion OS. I'm guessing it's a result of that, that email now has that dumb autocorrect. It is so annoying. I hate it. It might be nice if it learned, but it doesn't seem to.

There was once a comic in the "Sunday Funnies" where a character was a mattress tester. We all know what that was, and I would like to be one, but don't think I would like living in that alternate world

I still have to come across an auto-correct/spell-check/ dictionary app which has a broader vocabulary than mine, even though I'm not a native English speaker. These apps improve over time as you add more words to its memory, including in my case, untranslatable words in my first language. Which is why I hate having to upgrade my computer.

Cellphone apps that anticipate text are particularly frustating. I won't buy a cellphone which has a predictive text app that can't be turned off. I'm looking forward to the day when AI has sufficiently developed that such apps, including translators, get the nuances of human language.

Here's an e-translation from the original Bahasa (not my first language) of the condition of "Brand New" and "Mint" used cameras/lenses:

Brand New (100%):
• Body unit condition is 100% brand new.
• The previous owner has never used it.
• The previous owner could be: a collector, received it as a gift, wrong/regret/double/purchase by mistake.

Mint (95-99%):
• Body unit condition likes new.
• It’s been used by the previous owner rarely, but there is no trace of usages.
• The previous owner could be: half collector and half user, has not much time to use it, or easily get bored.

If I don't watch it, I'll probably fall under the category: "wrong/regret/double/purchase by mistake" which is slightly less onerous than the "easily get bored"(g).

I would assume that anyone with readers already has spell check, fact check, grammar check, and correct opinion check anyway, so having it as part of anything outside of an e-mail program is redundant. Depending on the e-mail recipients, it may be redundant there too.