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Words & Music by Brooke Abbey, 2006.

1st place winner of the 2006 FKO Songwriting Contest! The theme was "Write a song about one of Tolkien's works." My favourite part of singing this song is how everyone comes up to tell us how many times they've tried to read the Silmarillion. The grand prize winner so far is Judi Miller, who successfully read it on the 23rd attempt. Congratulations! I still haven't made it all the way. I was forced to make up the elf name in the song because I couldn't even face the index of names. (But later I found out it's really in there.. somewhere.)

lyrics

When I first read The Hobbit, it was true love at first sight C F C F
And The Lord of the Rings moved me just the same C F C F
I couldn't put them down, I'd stay up reading them all night C F C F
And when I'd hit the end I'd start again F G
In short Tolkien was my god Am
But I feel like such a fraud Em
And you'll know why when you hear me say: F G to G7

I fell asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
Though I tried so very hard to stay awake Am G7
Was it the genealogical charts? The poems in ninety two parts? Am Em
There's something about that book I just can't take F G
I fell asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
Maybe it was those weird albino trees Am G7
Beruthiel the Fair? It's just so hard to care! Am Em
Oh, professor, couldn't you spice it up for me? F G

It isn't that I don't like the obscure things that he wrote C F C F
I wrote a paper 'bout Appendix A C F C (F)
C minus. I'm so misunderstood.
I'll admit that Roverandom didn't really float my boat C F C F
But at least I could stay conscious the whole way F G
I read his parts of the OED Am
Even the one onâ€œletter Eâ€ Em
But it didn't stop my narcoleptic ways when: F G to G7

I fell asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
Illuvatar's just not an action hero Am G7
I need Galadriel to whip me up a magic spell Am Em
To bump my interest level up from zero F G
I fell asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
On my first attempt and every one thereafter Am G7
I feel for those dark ring lords â€“ they weren't evil, they were bored! Am Em
Better the one ring than one more chapter F G

My library has got a really fine Tolkien collection C F C F
And the librarian who works there's really... deep. C F C F
I wanted to impress him with my erudite selection C F C F
So I grabbed the Silmarillion! ...and fell asleep F G
With a gentle shoulder tap Am
He woke me from my Tolkien nap Em
And said â€œI thought I was the only one!â€ F G to G7

Who falls asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
I know I'm supposed to love it, but I can't Am G7
And I think I need not mention that the elf-girls at conventions Am Em
Are never going to give me an elf chance (at their elf pants...) F G
So now we fall asleep reading the Silmarillion C G C
A thousand boring elves with boring names Am G7
Yes, we fall asleep reading the Silmarillion F G C
And do you know what, yes, I'll tell you what, we're not ashamed! F G F G C (G C)