A friend Smriti was talking to us the other day about one's life as being a spiral, you start at a source and move outwards from that source, make a full cycle around and find yourself back at a parallel point on the same line. It's the same place, the same lesson to be learnt but something has changed. And onwards and onwards, we find ourselves back at the same place in a cycle but having learnt more and expanded outwards.

All of last year was an internal cycle, looking inwards, drawing all the time, working on Khoya and INK, growing and thinking and changing and meditating. A work Sanyaas of sorts. I didn't freelance, money and everything else became irrelevant. I was creating Inner worlds and I was happy. and chapters were coming to an end I graduated from Srishti after 5 years at the top of my class as Valedictorian, and released Khoya into the world.

Then came the next loop, the outwards spiral- Sharing, Pouring out, rising out of the sea and into the sky like a star. And it's been rewarding too. There's so much love here, first the TED talk went out like a wave across the universe, and from there on it's been an endless flow of articles and outward living. An acquaintance once told me that one must be like Akshayapatra in the Mahabharat- the Vessel that is only full when shared, the second one stops sharing one becomes empty. For the last few months I've been sharing consistently, living that outward life, being loved and loving. But lately I'm starting to feel like this cycle is slowly coming to an end as well. My vessel is full and I am sharing, but perhaps one shouldn't be so averse to being "empty" for a while either. I feel like going back to this blog that's been my silent haven since I was 16 before followers and stats, It's been ignored since I've started posting stuff on facebook with more instant gratification. I need to train myself to become a Karma Yogi of the digital world, share without care or expectation, and while blogs make it easy to talk to myself and be honest, Facebook doesn't. I think it's a balance a lot of us in the online blog and art world are trying to figure out too : How not to crystallize.

All the talks on Khoya are exciting, but I feel I need to move on before I start to feel like a broken record, even if it's only to Khoya 2. There are new valleys to explore, new interactions to create and other universes within the narrative to paint and see and be before I become into a crystal of Childhood and Magic. These are phases and circles in the spiral. I was much older when I was younger, darker, scratchier, more instinctive but also sadder, affirming negative emotions in my life until it came to a total crescendo of near madness and fear.

(some canvases from my older work when I was 15)

I was reborn as a child, rediscovered magic and love. But now I feel like I've grown up again and this time round perhaps it's not so bad. Khoya 2 is going to be an exploration of this growth, and newer realizations. A new wave in the spiral. Relatively older and ready to learn again without expectation.

A photograph from this month's Time Out magazine.

I need to go back to the Source, to re-boot and refresh myself. Find what it is that made me glow first before I become crystalline.

Hello bonifisheii.blogspot.com. I've missed you.

PS- Ironically, this post was saved as a draft for months with all the pictures and videos in but no words: A Microdocumentary about my life and connections which was so beautifully shot by Ben Henretig of Microdocs, the launching of myself as a brand of illustrated goodies and more. But instead, it's turned into an introspection on innerworlds and outerworlds. :) Perhaps this was meant to happen after all.
Thank you for all the love :)