Thoughts, experiences, feelings, and photos from Julia Butterfly Hill

i must begin with an apology. Clearly i broke my commitment to write every day.

Yesterday flew by and i got tired early for me and right as i was falling asleep i remembered i had not written in my blog. Sleep is so dear to me as i so often don’t sleep well, that i chose to go ahead and fall asleep vs. get up and write in my blog; knowing that by the time i finished writing i would have woken myself completely up and probably wouldn’t have fallen asleep until late.

This is not an excuse for my breaking my commitment; it is just me letting you know the story behind it because writing stories is what i do on my blog. So, i broke my word. i acknowledge i broke my word. i re-commit to writing every day.

And now for the Grand Finale of the Hummus Chronicles…

As mentioned in my previous blog, i was sharing about various, delicious and joyously vegan meals i had been making. Every person was clearly appreciating and asking when they get to try my food. Well, every person except for one woman. She listened and said with a derogatory tone, “Wow. You must have a lot of spare time on your hands.”

At first, i felt myself get defensive–it is what we often do when something we care about is being threatened. i care about making healthy, delicious, joyously vegan food because it makes a huge difference for the health of our bodies, the animals, and our planet! When i felt that value being attacked, i felt defensive. Then, knowing the very first and best thing to do whenever we feel triggered is to take a deep, mindful breath, that is what i did. After taking the breath, i was present to something i say in almost all my talks and in many of my interviews, “Every single moment, of every single day, we are giving our lives to something! Why not give our lives to the things that matter most to us–regardless of the outcome?” i thought about how much we give of our lives to things that don’t matter, things we don’t believe in, and things that waste time, money, and energy.

i looked to the woman and i said with love present in my heart and thoughts, “Every one of us prioritizes things in our lives. We all make choices on how we spend our time, how we invest our time. i just happen to love making nutritious, delicious food, so i choose to focus time on that instead of other things that others might choose to give their time to.” i could tell by the look on her face that what i had said dropped deep for her, that she “got” it, and it made sense to her. She did not respond defensively at all; she merely looked thoughtful and responded, “Well, yes, that is true.” And then the conversation got swept away by the group again.

i thought to myself with a little sadness in my heart about how i had seen this woman around the island on a few different occasions (she apparently lives here; not just a tourist) and every time i have seen her, she has been drinking alcohol. i realized in that moment that she doesn’t realize how much of her time and money she invests in drinking around a bar. She, clearly, longs for that social connection with others and that is a beautiful thing to invest in. And having occasional drinks with friends or even strangers around a bar can be a very fun way to invest some time. But just think how much more meaningful her social time could be if more of it were invested in preparing and sharing delicious and nutritious food. Underneath her doing of drinking as a way to connect with others is the being who enjoys connection with others.

i, of course, did not say any of this to her as that would have been hurtful and inappropriate. But it was a powerful reminder for me of how truly, every second of every day, we are all investing our lives in something! Once a moment is passed, we never, ever get it back. So often, i hear from people about how they feel they do not have enough time in their lives to do the things they really want to do. And yet, i know how often i “leak” moments here and there throughout my day that add up to substantial amounts of time. When i am being mindful of the incredible gift of each moment, and i become present to it, i tend to invest my time more thoughtfully and more wisely. And it is during these periods of time that i often find myself being the most creative, preparing food more, doing more yoga, etc… When i am present to the gift of time; i tend to find myself with more time to do the things that are most important to me.

Which leads me all the way back around to peeling chickpeas (and by the way, i also, buy dried beans, soak them overnight, drain off the liquid in the morning, and cook in a pressure cooker which is WAY better for our bodies and our planet than buying beans in cans) and laughing to myself. Yes, i am the crazy lady who peels my chickpeas after cooking them before i turn them into hummus or baked falafels (much healthier than fried ; ) And i am that crazy woman because i know that our lives are not really made up of the big, huge moments (like how people view my time in Luna), but rather our lives are made up of all the little things, the minutia in the moments, those things, people, etc… we might otherwise look or skip over.

Birth and death are the bookends. The pages in between, these stories of our lives, the legacy we leave behind after we pass from this physical reality are written letter by letter, moment by moment, conscious or unconscious choice by choice.

i might always be known as, “The woman who lived in a tree,” but i also hope to be remembered for other things like being the girl crazy enough to peel chickpeas, make almond ricotta cheese and sun-dried tomato pesto, and feed people lots of love and joy.

What do you want the story of your life to be?

You are writing it even as you read these words.

May your lives be a book filled with stories of care, commitment, and mindful investing of the miracle of each moment.

Thanks for taking such a simple experience and highlighting the deeper meaning. I laughed when read about you peeling chickpeas for hummus because I, too, make some “crazy” choices about hummus. My preferred way of eating is a very high raw diet – but I love hummus and didn’t like the texture of any of the raw hummus I’d tried. So I made my own: I buy bulk (not canned) chickpeas, soak them, drain them, SPROUT them, and then dehydrate them at a low temp. When I want healthy hummus, I take my “raw” dehydrated chickpeas and grind them to a powder (I have a “coffee” grinder that is dedicated to non-coffee items). And, taking it even further, I SIFT that powder and make my hummus that way. So, more power to ya, Julia; you’re not alone in your crazy, joyful food prep!

On January 23, 2013 at 5:06 pm juliabutterflyhill said:

YUM Gabrielle!!!!!! ; )

On January 23, 2013 at 8:06 pm barneyv said:

just wanted to let u know i missed u on my b-day and am glad u are so in tune to avoid all that rash behavior we are frequently accepting as the norm pity u can’t get the message across to your new “friend”. say over a veggie juice =) well have much to do and short sunlight hours the land is coming back and sadly we had to sacrifice a few pines to assist the older oaks in recovering from earlier hurricanes. am setting some green energy aside for your most recent book but am unsure how to get it so u get the most out of my purchase as i’m an off grid type and use barter most of the time will be using a money order i think after all i am surprised how far 550.00 from cans and roadside trash can go =) hugs to the kitty’s sbv and moo-cow =)

On January 23, 2013 at 8:25 pm Treesa said:

Like Gabrielle I found myself laughing as I read the Hummus Chronicle(s). There must be something about hummus or something about ‘us’ joyous vegans. Can’t say I have ever peeled them, but they must be sprouted before cooked. Sure wouldn’t mind sitting down to one of your yummy love infused feasts!

I’ve been recovering from a serious illness (and multiple surgeries) and so my husband has been making my meals for me. Everytime he brings me something to eat he asks me, “What do you think the main ingredient it?” As it turns out he always answers, “Love!”

On January 23, 2013 at 8:37 pm juliabutterflyhill said:

Sending love and healing prayers your way Treesa!

julia

On January 23, 2013 at 10:53 pm Tracy said:

How wonderful!!! Thanks so much for being who you are. There aren’t many people out there like you. I am currently reading your book “The Legacy of Luna” and can’t put it down. Thank you, thank you for sharing!!

On January 23, 2013 at 11:48 pm Zora said:

I’ve really been enjoying your writing, Julia – the daily posts create an intimacy that is normally absent from more infrequent postings. Thanks for that!
Zora in NZ

You guys are making me really hungry for some hummus right now! Julia, do you ever plan to do a cookbook sometime?

On January 24, 2013 at 3:16 pm juliabutterflyhill said:

Hi Janice,

People ask me all the time to do a cookbook, but i don’t use recipes when i cook, so i have not been able to put a cookbook together.

i am a pinch of this, tast of that kind of cook.

Best,
julia

On January 24, 2013 at 7:21 pm Alisa said:

Hey Julia!

I love this entry, and I love that you are writing so much!!! It’s such a gift for me to take a break from my day at work and connect to your wisdom and sweetness!

By the way, you can definitely (if you feel like it) do what I call “folk recipes,” which is to say that you write it up like, “one part brown sugar, to two parts oat flour”…and then lots of “to taste” thrown in everywhere! 🙂

This is of course if writing about it appeals to you at all…which it may not!!!

Your story reminded me of a recent documentary I saw on Beethoven, who would count out exactly 60 coffee beans per cup of coffee. I guess he must have loved to make delicious coffee and would probably approve!

On January 24, 2013 at 10:08 pm Mankh said:

Julia, maybe a video… Cooking with Julia, not Child, but with childlike fun — just an idea : )

Julia, I appreciate who you are and what you do, which is why I am reading your blog. Yet, I want to challenge you on one line in this post where you are talking about responding to the woman who comments on how much spare time you have: “i, of course, did not say any of this to her as that would have been hurtful and inappropriate. ”

Your honesty might have been the very thing that stimulated her to wake up and realize just how powerful she is IF she just chooses more wisely with your time. If she had chosen to take offense at what you said and felt hurt (her choice) she would be doing that in order to wake herself up, but you denied her that opportunity. I suspect you did that because you still take responsibility for other people’s choices, as you also blame other people for your choices (even our unconscious choices are choices). In either case, you are not being honest WITH YOURSELF here let alone with others.

You may not be idealized so much if you have the courage to be completely honest with people, but you will be of much more service to them. Great lights in the world, like Buddhas and Christs, have always had their distractors, but they were those great lights because they had the courage to be honest, first with themselves and then with others.

On January 24, 2013 at 10:39 pm juliabutterflyhill said:

Dear Jim,

Thanks for sharing your opinion.

i am 100% clear that being honest does not always mean saying everything we think and feel all the time. There are absolutely certain times things need to be shared and other times where they do not. Just because something is honest does not mean it needs to be shared all the time. It is absolutely vital that we speak our truth and it is also absolutely vital that we have the depth of awareness to know when it is appropriate to do so and when it is not. i am completely clear that this was not an appropriate time to have shared what i saw.

i am also 100% clear that i have no problem being honest with myself or anyone else and that i take 100% responsibility for my choices and actions.

i am also clear that in your message to me, you too, are “just being honest.” However, your message is filled with assumptions and judgments about me and you do not even know me, making statements of truth for me that do not ring true for me at all.

Honesty is very important. So is mindfulness and being very careful about projections vs. truth.

Being the “tree girl” is how I came to learn of you (through the documentary), but it is your words and your messages ever after for which I will remember you. I am constantly amazed at how, every time you post a blog, it seems to specifically speak to something current in my life (always reminding me that we really are all interconnected). I am filled with gratitude with each of your posts for your willingness to share your thoughts and experiences, most of all, because of the LIFE they inspire in me. This message today, of being present in all of life’s moments, was something I really needed to be reminded of today.

On January 25, 2013 at 1:02 am juliabutterflyhill said:

i am so glad to know the blog is reminding you of all you know Dori, reflecting you to you in ways that are inspiring you and reenergizing the life within you. Thanks for sharing how the writings are impacting you as i really appreciate knowing that!

Dear julia,
Lately I have been investing my time in doing several things I have been putting off for too long. One of them is reading and I had taken some time away from looking to your blog to see what you added recently. I must have gone in a different direction for a long time because I completely missed it from the time you pledged to write every day. I think I’ve caught up by now.
I am not a strict vegan but I enjoy the foods you describe preparing. Especially hummus. My Mother was from the Middle East and I grew up with that as a regular feature of our dinners. Today, your blog has really whet my appetite.
Your exchange with the woman reminded me of conversations I have all the time. I am not “employed” in the normal sense. I try not to be offended by those types of comments (Such as, “So what do you do all day?”) I like to believe I apply the same thoughtful approach you do, to everything I do during my day.