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Sick Baby Boy

You know what sucks? Being sick. You know what sucks more? Your kid being sick.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so bad for another person in my life than my poor baby boy. He is refusing to eat. Barely drinking water. He has a runny nose and can only sleep in about one or two hour chunks.

He can’t even express his discomfort except to wail and and rub his face against my shoulder. Why can’t Mom make it better? Why, indeed.

It’s just a standard cold. Runny nose. Congestion. But when you’re only ten months old and never had a cold before, it’s the worst thing in your tiny world. Worse than when you have to get a shot at the doctor. Worse than when Mom clips your nails. Worse than getting your hair washed. Even worse than when you’re not allowed to eat cat food.

I feel so terrible for this kid. If I could take it away, I would. Just somehow suck the badness out of his tiny little head. But I can’t.

On the way into work this morning, I was listening to Amy Poehler’s book, “Yes, Please.” Just before I got out of the car, Poehler said, “Every mother needs a wife.” And she discussed the mommy wars and the guilt we all feel.

If I weren’t working, I’d be home with my sick baby. If I were home with my sick baby, I wouldn’t be contributing to the family finances. I feel guilt for being away from my son, especially when he’s not feeling well. And I would feel guilt about being a stay-at-home mom. You just can’t win.