Read some thoughts, poems, song lyrics, quotes and other meaningful things from a lady who thinks too much, lives each day sitting in a wheelchair, feels deeply, and enjoys life, especially orange coloured objects, music, tea, laughing, and hanging out with the cool folk.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

If there's one thing I gained from watching the The Bachelor this week, it's the above version of By Your Side by Ben Taylor.Don't get me started on the rest of the show.....GARBAGE! Tiara is the queen of bitchdoom. I won't be watching when she has some "medical emergency" and can't breath. I'd strangle her.No lady should subject herself to a broken jaw to impress some man - even if he IS cute.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Yesterday there was a teachers' protest right where I live. The whole event could be seen from my sunroom window. My brother-in-law explained that teachers lost their bargaining rights. Though that's not right, a part of me thinks teachers ought to be glad they have a job. I'm on the fence. My sister and her family visited so the protest gave me that opportunity. We had cupcakes and pizza. I loved having them visit.

Speaking of visitors, I've had some bugs invade my apartment. They are harmless Armadillos that feed off moisture and wood. Ewww. Dad thinks they are coming from my neighbors balcony where there is lots of wood. My home is getting sprayed tomorrow.

I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I got all choked up. It's a beautiful story.

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.” “When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to
recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the
sun rises.”

“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say.”

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

On my twentieth birthday, I turned on the TV and watched Rob Thomas perform this version of 3 a.m. Live At Much Music. Rob Thomas explained that the song is about his Mom having cancer and being tired. Thinking about that and listening to the song makes me tear up. When Moms get sick, the ground beneath our feet feels shaky. Some nights we all feel lonely at 3 am. when sleep won't come.

It's freezing outside. I stayed inside and scrubbed my table and phone. I texted and called friends too. I wasn't lonely. Once 3 am hits, I wonder what state I'll be in. Hopefully sleep.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I heard this song called Somebody by Jukebox The Ghost in Williams-Sonomayesterday. Listening to it makes makes me happy. Ten years ago, I used to meet my boyfriend, Ian at Yorkdale Mall and we'd sneak behind Williams-Sonoma and kiss. Being that there was a big barbeque inside, we used to call Williams-Sonoma "the barbecue store." Those are happy memories.

I ate the best peanut butter and jam sandwich yesterday. Later, I read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, which was an amazing book. It reminded me of It's Kind Of A Funny Story. Both talk about how confusing, sweet and heartbreaking adolescence can be. I fell in love with both characters. At the mall yesterday, I dropped my library card and a sweet lady picked it up for me. I discovered a new store I like called J Crew.

My breakfast this morning was two pumpkin Pop Tarts. They were bunt but still delicious.We watched the movie Waitress on Friday. I heard this quote and smiled:

I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about
life. He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible
fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil—he is fearful
angry, jealous and negative. The other is good—he is happy, peaceful,
positive and content. The grandchildren thought about it for a minute,
and then one asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”
The Elder smiled and replied, “Whichever wolf I feed.”

Monday, January 14, 2013

Rachel lives in my apartment building. I have known Rachel since I was nine years old. We grew up in the same city and are friendly acquaintances. It has been a while since we've crossed paths. The last time we were on a bus together was around Christmas time. We were in the company of another very gossipy acquaintance. Rachel made the the comment that "I must be getting excited for my wedding." I quickly answered "Yes" and changed the subject. I didn't want my business spread on a public bus, which knowing the gossipy lady also aboard, could be the whole city eventually. Today Rachel asked how my former fiance was. I finally told her that we are no longer engaged. She was sorry.

After filling her in on the family issues we had, Rachel said, "A man who cannot stand up for his wife is no man at all."

Agreeing, I joked, "See I should marry you!"

Rachel told me she doesn't swing that way. I told her that "My life has been filled with changes, but perhaps changing my sexual orientation would be too drastic" We both laughed.

"You never know" said a man who was walking out the door and overheard our conversation.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

THIS {LIFE} IS NOT EASY. IT IS NOT
FUN. BUT IT CAN BE IF YOU REPEAT AFTER ME: IT'S JUST LIFE. IT IS NOT
PERFECT. THERE ARE NO ASSURANCES. NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU. NOT
EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO DO WILL BE ENJOYABLE.

YOU ARE HUMAN! YOU ARE FALLIBLE!YOU WILL ENJOY LIFE MUCH MORE IF YOU ACCEPT - NO, EMBRACE - THE FACT THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD DECISION AND A BAD DECISION.THERE ARE ONLY DECISIONS. MAKE THEM. MESS UP, ENJOY, REPEAT.

from Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety by Daniel Smith

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

This song makes me happy. Well, 2013 has started out calmly. There hasn't been any drama. I've been reading biographies, volunteering, having coffee with friends, buying bread, cupcakes, Fresca, Diet Coke with Lime, visiting home and living. The last four books I read were Worth Fighting For by Lisa Niemi, The Art Of Men by Kirstie Alley, Heartburn by Nora Ephron, and Prairie Girl by Melissa Gilbert. My favourite was Heartburn. I didn't know Norah Ephron personally, but I will miss her work. She was smart, funny and real.

I had my four favourite ladies in the world visit today - my Mom, my sister and two nieces Hannah and Skylar. We had burritos for lunch and shared cupcakes. Skylar enjoyed her bubblegum cupcake with a gummy bears, lots of sprinkles and pink icing. Hannah is so squirmy and smiley.

This afternoon my plan was to do an online provincial disability policy quiz for my volunteer work but I misread the instructions and it had to be done around noon. I'm nervous. What if I lose my position? It's unlikely, but I still worry.

I find out my weight tomorrow. I feel like I'm at my heaviest again. It's unlikely but I still worry. - OCG