British painter suffers crucifixion for his art

An artist from London has paid £2,000 to be crucified in the Philippines so that he could heighten his artistic senses by pushing himself to an "extreme of suffering".

Sebastian Horsley, who is thought to be the first Westerner to take part in the islands' Easter crucifixion ceremonies, said that despite the "indescribable pain" of being nailed to a cross, it was "a deeply poetic thing to do".

Although his feet were supported by a platform and bands around his wrists and arms took some of his weight, nothing, he said, had prepared him for the agony of having five-inch nails driven through his hands. "I had wanted to think of something really beautiful - my girlfriend, for instance - but the pain was so overwhelming. It was far worse than I imagined.

"As 10 or 12 men started to raise the cross to an upright position my eyes filled with tears as I drifted in and out of consciousness."

Mr Horsley, 39, said that the subsequent rush of endorphins produced by his body to combat the pain "felt like a warm bath within".

"I opened my eyes for a moment and could almost see. I was slipping in and out of consciousness - sounds were cutting in and out. A mild hallucinogen was also produced by my body. I was vaguely aware of colours getting richer and skies darkening. I was also aware of people below me."

Mr Horsley's crucifixion took place as part of a ceremony that has been carried out for centuries on the island of San Fernando. Every Easter 10 people volunteer to atone for their sins by mimicking Jesus's death on the cross.

Prior to having nails hammered through their hands, they are scourged with whips and then dragged through the streets before arriving at a "Calvary" of three crosses on a hill. Each one remains on the cross for up to half an hour and is attended by three women, representing those thought to be present at Christ's death: the Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of James and Joseph.

Everybody taking part has to sign a waiver taking full responsibility for whatever "psychological or physical consequences the crucifixion might bring".

Mr Horsley's 20-minute crucifixion was ended by an excruciatingly painful accident. The platform on which his feet were resting gave way and the straps that bound his wrists to the cross snapped. The weight of his body then pulled the nails out of the cross and he fell to the ground.

"Suddenly I lost all forms of support and started tumbling into darkness," he said. He was revived by Sarah Lucas, a fellow artist from Britain who had travelled with him to film the event and play the role of Mary Magdalene. Other participants helped to stem the flow of blood from his hands by putting their fingers on the wounds.

Mr Horsley's hands were bandaged for a month after the crucifixion, although he said he has suffered no long-term medical problems. His ordeal has inspired him to paint a series of crucifixion scenes that will be exhibited for five weeks from June 14 in Crucifix Lane, Bermondsey, south London, along with the film and photographs of his experience.

The artist, whose canvases fetch up to £15,000 and whose work has been bought by Bryan Ferry, the singer, and Nicole Kidman, the actress, said that the trip to the island had succeeded in heightening his artistic feeling.

"An artist has to go to every extreme, to stretch his sensibility through excess and suffering in order to feel and to communicate more," he said.

"I have always been fascinated by blood. Pain can be vitalising; it gives intensity in the place of vagueness and emptiness. If we don't suffer, how do we know that we live?" he said.

Mr Horsley said that for some time after his crucifixion he felt detached from the people around him. "It certainly unbalanced me and there are times now when I regret having done it. At times I think it was reckless; at other times poetic.

"I don't believe in God. I'm not a religious person but I was stuck artistically and as a person, and in a way the crucifixion was a form of rebirth. I thought I had been punished when I fell from the cross for shaking my fists at the gods."