Thursday, February 07, 2013

A character who thinks himself more or better -- destined for a higher calling. Who hates himself as he can't consummate this understanding of himself -- thinking himself less than those he imagines living the life he wants. Who thus isolates himself in his self-loathing.

What a joyless character. And yet, I feel that character could be me.

Confined to the house after surgery, I decided to read. I love reading and have often chastised myself for not reading enough. It's a common theme for me: falling short of a perfect vision of myself.

I at once hated and intimately understood the narrator. He frustrates me. But the story has so much to teach me.