Jesus walked, therefore God hates fun runners

Believe it or else, Frumpzilla actually has at least one lawyer on staff. We’re not going to identify him/her/them, but let’s just say several around Frump’s lavish headquarters are anxiously anticipating the Supreme Court’s decision in the “Funeral Protesters” case (Snyder v. Phelps, 580 F. 3d 206 (2009)).

As if that pending precedent isn’t complex enough, it appears the Court may yet have another privacy/free speech issue on its hands in the coming months.

Citing the fact that Jesus walked — and that the word “jog” doesn’t appear in the Bible even once (truth) — the Upright Citizens Brigade makes sure the most egregious violators of this often overlooked codicil to God’s Law are well aware of the inevitable, ticker-tape of fire awaiting them.

Let’s face it: the logic expressed here is at least as sound as that of the Westboro Baptist Church. The UCB might just have their day in court, too… (some NSFW language in here, so be careful)