When it is your time to forgive, it is actually harder to do when someone really hurt you so deeply. I usually, give advices to my friends when they ask for it. They usually ask for advice about forgiveness. Those advices that I gave them are actually hard to apply on my own situation. Someone hurt me so deeply this past few days. That person is the most important one in my life. Although this wasn't the first time he did this, but the repeatedly inflicted pain in my heart everytime he hurts me, digged a deep hole in my heart and now I must say it is so difficult to heal. I tried to act normal, tried to forget it. ...

I don't know what to feel anymore.
I kept asking myself when was the last time I really felt happy?
I can't remember.
I miss being happy.
I miss the feeling of experiencing happiness in my life.
Why is happiness so rare at the moment.
I can have fun for few hours but after that I feel empty again.
Something is missing.
And that is true happiness.
I thought I was happy but then I realized I was just pretending to be.
When will I really be happy?

Sleep.
The time where I can be free.
Every time I close my eyes, I find inner peace.
The only moment I can be at ease.
Sleep gives me comfort.
Gives me relaxation.
For when I sleep, the pain and hurt goes away temporarily.
It all goes away, only when I sleep.

I thought today will be better.
But everything is still gloomy like this night.
As I rest my tired body, exhausted mind and breaking heart, at the back of my consciousness I hope things will get better.
I am still in pain and hurt.
Wanting to cry it all out but my eyes probably had probably cried enough as there's no more tears to fall.
I do not know what to feel anymore.
Is this the end of forever?
Should I conclude that there's really no happy ever after?
I don't know.
I can't think anymore.

I looked at him while he's asleep.
As his mind swims through the oceans of dreams.
I tried holding back the tears but they all flowed down my eyes like the water falls.
As I stare, I felt pain in my heart like a knife stabbing every part of it.

Every glance, I'm starting to see a different person. He's becoming more like a stranger to me now. I do not know him any longer.
I feel like he is not the man that I vowed my "I do" with.

How did this happen? That the person you thought you knew suddenly became a stranger.

It's past midnight.
I should be dreaming now.
But my mind is still wide awake.
Thinking.
Wondering.
Confused how love can be this difficult.
I didn't know.
Sometimes I wish I could turn back the time to day before I met him and just skip all these that I am now regretting.

For so many months now I have been questioning myself if I am still happy. Asking myself when was the last time I really felt the love.

I feel like the only choice that I have is to let it all go. My mind keeps telling me that everyday. But my heart wants to stay.

Waiting that someday he will realize the effort, love and most importantly my life that I have dedicated to him.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. One thing I really admire about this app is people here have hearts. I've never encountered an app like this before that there are people who actually care about someone despite being strangers.
That's why I came back writing here. I feel the sincerety of the people. Real people. Reading thoughts. Sharing emotions. Whether you're happy or sad. People here will reach out.

Thank you all beautiful people of Lettrs. To the staff and CEO, you guys are brilliantly genius for this.
You have my utmost respect.

Hello Lettrs family,
I am here in the park. Sitting on a bench. With my cigarette.
Alone.
Hurting.
Emotionally drained.
Listening to music.
Tears falling down my eyes.
Thinking about how funny that the people that says they love us, are also the ones that hurts us the most. The people that makes us strong are also the same people that makes us weak.
The one that mends your heart is also that one who always breaks it.
Isn't it ironic?

It's been awhile. This app changed so much. Just like my life. So much has changed. Ive missed writing here and seeing other people's writing as well.
I now live in Singapore. Living a very different life. Some of you may have known a little details about me.
Some of you knew that I am a musician.
But now life became different.
I left the lime light.
Decided to live my life out of the spotlight.
Living here in Singapore for 9 months now. All good.
I missed you Lettrs. Seriously.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I'd like to thank everyone who talked to me last night and to those who became my new found friends, thank you!

I'm really glad that there are people who are still concerned of somebody even if I am a complete stranger to you all.
You all barely know me but some people here helped me see the light in the darkness.

I'm still trying to move on from a very devastating heart break but I feel better because of you all.