4 High-Paying Jobs That Are Great for Career Changers

You’re fed up; you’re tired and your current job has the potential upward mobility of a lead zeppelin. So, what do you do? Although a harrowing process, you might be due for a career change…but at the same time you don’t want to be broke. You’re a greedy little peon, aren’t you. Well, fear not my monetarily insatiable friend because these are great jobs for career changers that also bring in the big bucks.

1. Doctor

So, you are at a cross-road; on the left hand side is a low-paying dead end job that stimulates you as much as a televised golf tournament on Ambien (even the announcer speaks with the hushed calming tones of a bedside lover) and on the right hand side a medical career that involves a decade or more of school, an average of $170.000 in debt and entrance into a field with one of the highest concentration of sociopaths in the world. Considering all those factors and the amount of drugs available that will help you sleep at night (though they will not cure the nocturnal screams of horror), a surgeon can make a grossly stupid $349.000 per annum. That’s enough money to stuff your pillows with 100 dollar bills, which might not help curtail the cold sweats, but will definitely quiet the voices of the dead that will haunt your dreams. If you want to avoid being tormented by the souls you turned over to Charon, you can always go into dentistry (which is competitive to the point of madness but still makes you a cool $146.000/year), a general physician ($177.000/year) or even occupational therapist ($75.000/year).

2. Public Relations Exec

Do you have a vendetta with the truth? Do you hate when the working class understands exactly what shadowy corporations are doing to their food? Well, then you would be perfect as a PR exec for a huge faceless and nefarious corporation. Or, a greedy douche-bag that is okay with prohibiting treatment to dying people for profit. Just make sure you don’t allow emails of aforementioned douche bags gleefully projecting profits from their 5000% price-hike of life saving pharmaceuticals. You could also help content monopolies/cable companies treat their costumers like trash and pressure sale people that want to discontinue service. I mean, why wouldn’t you like to get paid almost $200.000 to professionally lie? Oh, because you actually have a conscience and soul…fair enough.

3. Big Data

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Imagine Big Data being a huge pool of information that was extracted from unaware individuals…someone needs to take that illegally stolen…I mean, not-given information, and extrapolate information from it that will help the thief…I mean, company. Well, enter the completely innocent and virginal Data Scientist and their fat pay-checks. For a cool $124.000 a year you can trawl seas of sordidly obtained personal information and then sell that information to companies so they can get even more information from their cows…I mean, customers.

4. Air Traffic Controller

If you’d like to sleep at night, there is a profession that you can switch into which still pays decently at about $120.000. The only downside is that you will have the responsibilities of millions of lives on your shoulders the pressure of which is reflected in the suicide rates which are extraordinarily high. What can I say, you win some you lose some.