Should A Woman Landscape Herself? [HE SAID / SHE SAID]

Having been with women who’ve run the gambit from “forest ranger” to “smooth as a baby’s bottom,” I can say with absolute certainty that the less hair there, the better. To make life easier for both of us, I’m giving you a list of pre-approved pubic hair styles. Whether you adhere to my advice or not is up to you.

• The landing strip. Classic, simple and easy. Men don’t have to ask for directions with this map.

• The one where you shave everything. Nothing to complain about here.

• The one where you leave only a tuft, with nothing down below. Sasha Grey used to sport this look. Who’s Sasha Grey? I don’t know. Your boyfriend definitely doesn’t know either.

• The microphone. I don’t know what this is, but this would be one of the few times I would try karaoke.

• The lightning bolt. This is a dangerous play, but if he sees it and stays you’ve pretty much got the greenlight to do whatever you want.

This week’s response was short for a reason. Ladies, take care of your sh*t.