Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson tells us that when you’re going through your NICU journey you will need support, however, asking for help doesn’t come easily to some people and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and not completely in control.

The Reality of NICU

Even if you knew leading up to the birth your babies were going to come early, there can often be a sense of this isn’t what I was expecting. This is not what I signed up for, this is not what I imagined having twins would be.

Joanne’s Story

You might remember on Episode Nine, we heard from Joanne Beedie who gave birth to her twins at 27-weeks’ gestation, sadly one of her boys had passed away inutero at 21-weeks’ gestation due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.

She says coming to terms with the loss of her baby, having another baby in the NICU fighting for his life, and a toddler at home was a lot to cope with and the guilt was crippling.

“I think if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband’s and my parents flew in from Scotland to help us, I’m really not sure how we would have done it,” says Joanne.

Joanne says for her son Archie, he knew mummy had a baby in her tummy and then suddenly mummy went to the hospital and didn’t come back, and then there was no baby, but mummy’s tummy had gone.

“I remember the feelings of guilt, Archie he was only two-and-a-quarter when Lewis was born so he hadn’t even fully comprehended that he was going to have brothers,”

“I would try and spend between 8-and-3 in the hospital with Lewis and then I would try and get home and have time with Archie and have his dinner with him, get him to bed, and go back to the hospital for evening cares,” recalls Joanne.

Juggling

Like most parents who have babies in the NICU and other children to care for at home, Joanne says you can’t be in two places at once, but that’s exactly what you want to be able to do.

“The pressure of trying to juggle the two of them, it was just guilt,” says Joanne.

Archie had his own NICU journey. And, Joanne says she’s sure he’ll have his own memories of it.

“The best memories, I have from the NICU was the day Lewis came home and Archie got to meet him, of all places in the waiting area,”

Pressure

Senior NICU Social Worker at King Edward Memorial Hospital Clare Dimer says there are many social implications that come with having babies in the NICU and other siblings to care for at home. She says the biggest pressure is children under five.

“It’s a huge stress for families when they have other children at home, and they’re trying to navigate and negotiate with lots of different people and lots of different caregivers,”

“That’s a real struggle for families with multiples in the nursery, particularly around non-school aged children,” explains Clare.

Clare says 90 percent of parents’ stress levels when they have babies in the NICU and other children at home is worrying about who is taking care of their children.

“The children at home can regress in behaviours, they can start bedwetting again because they realise something has happened,”

“Mummy might be at the hospital for a long time and is not coming home, they start to get some attachment anxiety about mum going away and then not coming back,” Clare explains.

Self-care

Self-care is extremely important when you have babies in the NICU. Leaving your babies’ side is often the last thing you'll feel like doing, however, it’s not only beneficial to you but also for your family unit.

Clare says you should look after yourself by:

Eating healthy.

Identifying the main stressors and talking to someone about them.

Take time away from the NICU daily.

Scheduling a regular time to spend with other children.

“Taking time out of the day for 15-20 minutes can release endorphins that make you feel good and a bit more relaxed,” says Clare.

“With more care and better self-care, there can be big improvements for mum and baby,”

“And, Dads need self-care too,”

Asking for Help

Each family is different and they have their own individual stressors whether it’s financial, social, family relationship issues, substance abuse, domestic violence, everyone needs support when they’re on a NICU journey.

Parents on Demand Network

iTunes Reviews

19/05/2018I was listening to the show with my friend who's expecting twins and loved all the info and insights. Great audio quality and great content!

by MsLetran from United States

Excellent information & production

14/05/2018Such a well-produced podcast with lots of valuable information and great stories too. I also found the hosts voice very soothing to listen to. Keep up the great work!

by NatureBased from United States

Multiple Reeasons To Like This Pod

09/05/2018A well produced pod relating to an undercommunited subject matter. Really important info.

by FMMAD from United States

A must listen for the families with twins

07/05/2018I was blown away by the depth and breadth of the information at this podcast about the family dynamic and challenges of this population. As a mental health provider, I was aware of some of the struggles, happiness and joy of having twins, triplets, etc... but this podcast provided me with an insight about in depth experience of these families.

by Naz Mo from United States

Perfect Blend of Story and Information

02/05/2018I was very impressed by the amount of information and narrative packed into such a short podcast. Sally does a great job producing the segments and everything connects and fits together very well. I loved the compelling real-life stories. Great podcast and a great purpose!

by tim.rhodes from United States

Good Information

16/04/2018This podcast is just very direct and to the point, it's point is to educate people about pregnancy. It is very professional in its presentation but is also very dry in delivery but this show doesn't need to be too flashy but a little flavour in how the information is delivered to us would be appreciated.

by The_Lizard_King1 from Australia

Potential parents can learn

15/04/2018If you’re thinking about having children I believe this is a great informative podcast although it’s regarding multiple pregnancies at the same time (i.e. twins or more), I believe it’s great knowledge regarding health, wellness and things to consider for anyone wanting children.

by lady reeses from United States

Unique theme

13/03/2018I've seen a podcast for just about everything in the world but this one is a first for me. Informative and just as importantly, nice audio quality. Can't get past crappy audio and this is very good, which make this easy to listen to.