You Know You're From San Antonio When...
>You lost your virginity at mission drive-in
>
>You know exactly how to get to the "Ghost Tracks" from anywhere in town.
>
>You think "pro-choice" means flour or corn tortillas.
>
>You've never been to the Alamo.
>
>You think a health drink is a Margarita without salt.
>
>You think being able to read the Taco Cabana menu makes you bilingual.
>
>You used to live in a neighborhood you wouldn't even drive through now.
>
>There has been a road crew on your street since before the Alamodome was
>built.
>
>You remember when Crossroads Mall used to be called Wonderland.
>
>You've been to Midget Mansion.
>
>You know all about the "Dancing Diablo" and the "Donkey Lady" bridge.
>
>You know that Wheatley and Brackenridge is the same school.
>
>You remember the Captain Gus show.
>
>Your subwoofer has twice the value of your car.
>
>You have three rodeo outfits but never have been on a horse
>
>You're an expert with the brake pedal, but you have no idea what a blinker
>is.
>
>Your idea of culture is wearing a Hard Rock T-shirt.
>
>You think the last supper was at Mi Tierra restaurant.
>
>You do your grocery shopping at a flea market.
>
>You think local politicians are crooks, but you still do not vote.
>
>You have a "Selena Lives" bumper sticker on your car.
>
>You care if San Antonio is in the "national spotlight".
>
>A formal occasion is getting a glass with your longneck.
>
>You believe Tacos, barbecue, tequilla, and beer are the four basic food
>groups.
>
>You rented Pulp Fiction to escape the everyday violence of the city.
>
>You think wearing bows in your hair will get you a husband.
>
>Your White mother learned how to make Tamales & Menudo from your neighbors.
>
>You know the "real" definition of FIESTA is "stay home if at all possible".
>
>You have ordered Mexican food at a Chinese restaurant.
>
>You had breakfast tacos at Taco Cabana on Christmas morning.
>
>You remember the Joske's Christmas display.
>
>You remember when JC Penney's had a restaurant.
>
>You remember hamburgers from Whopper Burger.
>
>You're elementary field trip was to the Butter Crust Bakery.
>
>You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San
>Antonio.