I always knew I’d end up in the Oval. And that my ovaries would take me there. I even knew it way back when I was in one of the five (or was it six???) colleges I went to for my bachelor’s degree.

I really shouldn’t be writing in my diary right now. I’m supposed to be studying some foreign policy crapola: Joe the Jew (who I’m sure is jealous of me) won’t stop prattling nonsense about the difference between the Sunnis and the Shias. He says Johnny-boy keeps forgetting and it’s gonna be my job to jab him whenever he gets it wrong.

Hell, one jab from me would probably kill him. Not a bad idea, come to think of it. But I probably don’t want to rush things.

Oops! Lieberman just sneaked up on me and started yelling about my diary — he says my calling him ”Joe the Jew” is anti-semitic. His point?

Anyway, that just proves he’s jealous. He’s been kissing Johnny-boy’s butt forever and he came thisclose to the Veep pay-off. And then I stole his ball … actually, both of them.

Joe (happy now, Joe?) also just told me I have to study faster cuz some news guy’s interviewing me this week. They were hoping to stall until after the election, but no dice. And the worst part is it’s not even a Fox fella.

Oh well… I’m a fast study (boy is Biden gonna be surprised!) And besides, they tell me the news guy promised to behave.

I guess I’d better put my diary aside for now, and dig into that big pile they have the nerve to call briefing books. Hmmm … I wonder what I should listen to while I study.

Which reminds me — those annoying Heart-girls are bitchin about Barracuda being played at my convention. Hey, if they didn’t want me to use it, they shouldn’t have named it after me.[tags]Sarah Palin Humor, Sarah Barracuda, Republican VP, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, McCain Humor, Lieberman Satire[/tags]