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I didn't like it, so sue me: The worst of OLTL 2013:
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Natalie shouldn't have accepted Brody's marriage proposal. As much as she wants to form a family for Liam, she shouldn't marry someone she's with just because he's there.

Happy October, everyone! As we start a new month, it's hard to believe that One Life to Live will leave ABC in a few, short months. I was reminded by that fact every day as the show-that-shall-not-be-named took All My Children's timeslot and seemed to creep over into One Life to Live's timeslot for a few seconds each day. I have now figured out how long to wait before turning on ABC without seeing an annoying logo of that nameless show. I said I won't watch it, and I won't watch it, no matter what. Now that I've established that, it's time to discuss the important things like the events in Llanview!

As the number of people who know that John is Liam's biological father continues to increase, interest in this story continues to decrease. I will never understand why the powers that be insist on dragging stories like this on for months. It fills pages of a script and minutes of an episode, but it doesn't hold my interest at all. I knew I'd reached the breaking point when even "David Vickers" found the paternity test results. Even a dog saw the results before John and Natalie! Now Jessica also knows the truth, but I doubt she will tell Natalie about it, since they recently tried to kill each other, and this story will continue to drag. I couldn't care less if John and Natalie ever reunite; I have never liked them as a couple. However, the truth about Liam's paternity needs to be revealed very soon. I can't handle any more people finding out the truth and then keeping it from John and Natalie. It's getting silly.

Natalie shouldn't have accepted Brody's marriage proposal. As much as she wants to form a family for Liam, she shouldn't marry someone she's with just because he's there. I don't think she wanted Clint to give Brody his blessing. It is ridiculous for her to agree to marry him just because he asked. At the same time, it is also ridiculous that John can't tell Natalie that he still loves her. Their conversation was painful to watch, as John let Natalie continue thinking that he didn't love her anymore, when he could have blurted out the truth at any time. Natalie and John both need to be honest with themselves and each other. As I said, I don't care if they get back together, but all of this waffling is ridiculous!

While I think Jessica and Natalie feuding over Brody is weak, their fight in the park was interesting and also very telling. The fact that they brought up their history as sisters proved that time doesn't heal all wounds. It took Natalie a long time to feel like a Buchanan, and Jessica didn't hesitate to throw that in Natalie's face, while Natalie was quick to point out that Clint was her biological father and not Jessica's. As much as they have tried to be close, despite their complicated past, they both have trouble accepting each other's role in the family. The fight was a good use of history, which isn't something we see a lot!

As much as I want to see Jessica and Natalie stop fighting over Brody, I don't want to see Jessica be distracted by Ford. Whenever I watch them together, I know that Ford is hoping that Tess reemerges, and it's creepy. Ford might be a marginally better person these days, but he still thinks Tess is real and believes he can be with her again. That's weird, and I am not interested in seeing Ford and Jessica become a couple. I don't care if Ford dresses as a hotdog or as the Easter Bunny; his interactions with Jessica will never be endearing.

Irene Manning is starting to remind me of Eli, with her incredible ability to do anything she wants whenever she wants. I knew that all of Victor's possessions would be left to Irene in the will before it was read. She's just that good, I guess! She also managed to stay in Viki and Téa's homes, even when they clearly didn't want her there. They knew she was dangerous, but it didn't matter. She got her way. I liked how Irene taunted Jack with her interest in him, though. Maybe Jack will see the error of his ways if Irene thinks he has potential! I wonder why Irene set the timer on the bomb for an hour. If she really wanted everyone to die, why didn't she have it go off right after she left Téa's house? I guess it was more dramatic this way.

I hope no one was killed in the explosion. It would be great to see one of Irene's plans backfire for a change! It made me nervous when the adorable David Vickers was sniffing around the bomb and followed Bo as he ran away from Téa's house with it. Surely this show wouldn't kill off an innocent dog. It just can't happen! It looked like Bo was in the most danger, since he had the bomb in his hand, but hopefully he managed to get rid of it before it went off. I can't see anything happening to him, but I guess we never really know.

I am glad that Irene finally told Todd what she wanted from him. It only took her eight years to finally accept that he really didn't know what she was seeking. What a waste of time! We still don't know why the microchip is important, but at least we know that it is. Todd brought Irene shooting him on himself when taunted her with the microchip and threw it in the water. Although, with the way Irene has been operating, she probably would have killed him even if he had given her the microchip. She seems to consistently choose the plan that will cause the most harm, so Todd probably felt he had nothing to lose by telling her off and taunting her.

Starr proved that she is a Manning when she boldly helped Todd escape from jail. It didn't take her long to think of a plan or a backup plan when the first one backfired! This is a side of Starr I thought had been lost forever. I don't think she should have put herself at risk and broken the law like she did, but she had a spark about her that we haven't seen in a long time.

I doubt that Starr will actually go to jail for what she did. Bo might be serious about making her face the consequences, but very few people actually pay for the things they do. It was incredible to see Blair express shock over Bo arresting Starr. She held police officers at gunpoint and aided a prisoner! I guess Blair expected Bo to forget all of that because Starr is her daughter. To be fair, Bo isn't exactly consistent when it comes to arresting people, but Blair was in serious denial over what her daughter had done!

It's great to see Tina again. It really is, even if she seems to be slightly more of a ditz this time. Her interruptions during the reading of the will were silly! I guess she should be cut some slack, since she had just discovered that her mother was alive, but it wasn't her finest moment! I also couldn't believe she didn't notice her dog wasn't in the bag when she left Téa's house. Didn't she notice it was much lighter? I know I shouldn't linger on stuff like that and should just be happy that the wonderful Andrea Evans is back! I just hope she gets good material this time, unlike her last return. Just hearing Tina and Cord discuss Tina's last visit to Llanview brought back unpleasant memories!

It was also great to see Cord. Seeing him made me think of the days when the Buchanans were the true center of the show, as they should be. The absence of Kevin and Cord during Clint's heart transplant was inexplicable, and while we still don't get to see Kevin, at least we have Cord now. I think it's interesting that Clint didn't know Buchanan Enterprises was in trouble. I know he isn't associated with it anymore, but it still seems like he would care. It's not like he has a lot to fill his time with these days!

Even more surprising than that was Clint defending Rex to Cord. Wow. It's true that Clint and Rex have formed an alliance recently, but I never expected to see Clint be so supportive of Rex. I hate to see Clint and Cord argue, but I like seeing Clint accept Rex as his son. That's a lot of progress since the heart transplant, and it doesn't feel forced. They needed time to understand each other. I just hope that Clint and Cord's relationship doesn't continue to be strained because of it. I want Cord to stay in Llanview for a long time, and I want to see the Buchanans become stronger because of it.

I don't like all of the flashbacks that imply that Shane killed Victor. I can't accept that possibility. Matthew killed Eddie Ford this year, so Shane can't be a murderer too! It would be too much. Based on Rex and Shane's conversation last week, I am sure that Rex didn't kill Victor, but Shane's fate remains to be seen. We need to see what happens after Shane knocked Jack out soon. Someone else had to show up at the last minute or something. Shane has been through too much, and I can't see him killing anyone. Of course, I said the same thing about Matthew. Hopefully, I am right this time.

Finally, it was revealed that Ron Carlivati will be moving with One Life to Live to Prospect Park and that more actors have agreed to move with the show as well. It looks like there will be continuity as the show makes the transition to the Internet, which is essential. It was also announced that the show's channel would be called "The Online Network." It's all beginning to feel real, and it's great to have that assurance after so much doubt. I still want the show to ultimately return to television so everyone can watch it, but this is a good start!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.