over 5 billion neurons served

Knock, Knock. Who’s There?

Knock, knock.

Â Who’s there?

Terrorist.

COME ON IN.Â I’m just so relieved you’re not the homosexual agenda!

Apparently the most serious threat to America is not terrorism, it’s not radical Islam, per Republican Representative from Oklahoma and Bigot, Sally Kern.Â No, it’s the homosexual agenda which, among other things, she claims “It will destroy our young people and destroy our nation.”Â Lest I be accused of picking things out of context, feel free to read her entire unedited screed here.Â Wear a hazmat suit, though.Â This stuff is toxic.

If you’ve been paying any attention to this, you know that I’m not the only one who thinks so but my favorite response to date is from a young man whose mother died in the Oklahoma City Homosexual Agenda Terrorist Bombing:

On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would’ve likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them pay with their lives.

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.
8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don’t panic.
8:07 a.m. Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you’ve heard about Matt Lauer are true. Decide they must be.

11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Hammer Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passe.

1:00 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from AOL M4M chat for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maÃ®tre d’ recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.

3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations’ governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic “art” exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.

4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.

4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.
7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, “Over!”
8:30 p.m. Light dinner with catty homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be “over” by the time it gets its first review in the local paper.
10:30 p.m. Cocktails at a debauched gay bar, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can’t navigate a crowd with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Stoli in a cheap plastic cup in the other. Make audible remark about how “trashy” people who still think smoking is acceptable are.
12:00 a.m. “Nightcap at your place.” Find out that people lie in bars, too.