AT THE BOTTOM OF AN APPLICATION WHERE IT SAYS 'SIGN HER: SHE WROTE SAGITTARIUS

SHE TOOK THE RULER TO BED TO SEE HOW LONG SHE SLEPT.

SHE SENT A FAX WITH A STAMP ON IT.

SHE TRIPPED OVER A CORDLESS PHONE

SHE SPENT 20 MINUTES LOOKING AT THE ORANGE JUICE CAN BECAUSE IT SAID CONCENTRATE.

SHE TOLD ME TO MEET HER AT THE CORNER OF 'WALK' AND 'DONT WALK'

SHE STUDIED FOR A BLOOD TEST.

WHEN SHE WENT TO THE AIRPORT AND SAW A SIGN THAT SAID, 'AIRPORT LEFT' SHE TURNED AROUND AND WENT HOME.

WHEN SHE HEARD THAT 90% OF ALL CRIMES OCCUR AROUND THE HOME, SHE MOVED

SHE THOUGHT IF SHE SPOKE HER MIND SHE WOULD BE SPEECHLESS

SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD NOT USE HER AM RADIO IN THE EVENING

SHE THINKS TACO BELL IS THE MEXICAN PHONE COMPANY

THREE WOMEN GO DOWN TO MEXICO ONE NIGHT TO CELEBRATE GRADUATION. THEY GET DRUNK AND WAKE UP IN JAIL, ONLY TO FIND THAT THEY ARE TO BE EXECUTED IN THE MORNING. NONE OF THEM CAN REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID THE NIGHT BEFORE.

THE FIRST ONE A REDHEAD , IS STRAPPED IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR SHE WAS ASKED IF SHE HAD ANY LAST WORDS. SHE SAYS, I JUST GRADUATED FROM TRINITY BIBLE COLLEGE AND BELIEVE IN THE ALMIGHTY POWER OF GOD TO INTERVENE ON THE BEHALF OF THE INNOCENT. THEY THROW THE SWITCH AND NOTHING HAPPENS. THEY ALL FALL TO THE FLOOR AND BED HER FORGIVENESS.THE SECOND ONE A BRUNETTE, IS STRAPPED IN AND SAYS HER LAST WORDS, 'I JUST GRADUATED FROM HARVARD SCHOOL OF LAW AND I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF JUSTICE TO INTERVENE ON THE PART OF THE INNOCENT. THEY THROW THE SWITCH AND ONCE AGAIN NOTHING HAPPEN. AGAIN THEY FALL TO THEIR KNEES AND BEG HER FORGIVENESS.THE LAST ONE A BLONDE IS STRAPPED IN AND SAYS , WELL I AM FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AND JUST GRADUATED WITH A DEGREE IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING. AND I'LL TELL YA RIGHT NOW, YA'LL AI N'T GONNA ELECTRICUTE NOBODY IF YA DON'T PLUG THIS THING IN'