I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral

Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair. so, deal with it.

dalovindj:Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Dingleberry Dickwad:dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

the_end_is_rear:kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.Visualize that.....not pretty.

Wait, so you are upset because he said Roseville is full of trust fund twunts, and you respond by saying that not only are you from Roseville, but your parents were trust fund twunts...

kiwimoogle84:Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

MoronLessOff:kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

kim jong-un:the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.Visualize that.....not pretty.

Wait, so you are upset because he said Roseville is full of trust fund twunts, and you respond by saying that not only are you from Roseville, but your parents were trust fund twunts...

Not sure why you mad, bro.

He?

And yeah, I scratched my head at that too, but I think it's because I implied I wanted to nuke his city from orbit. *shrug*

People who come from money and/or never had to struggle don't really appreciate it most of the time, and generally do stupid things with said money. Whereas I, saving money by living in "ghetto bird territory" as he stated, paid for my own college degrees- both of them- and value used book stores over a ski weekend in Aspen.

I don't honestly think anyone who has worked themselves from the ground up would ever consider a surgery like this. It's absurd.

kiwimoogle84:Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.

Dingleberry Dickwad:kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.

kiwimoogle84:Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.

Yes, but you don't happily worship them on a regular basis, do you?

I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Regular basis you say? We must clone you and populate the earth with more of you post haste!Also, go on......

My BRAND!:kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.

Yes, but you don't happily worship them on a regular basis, do you?

I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Regular basis you say? We must clone you and populate the earth with more of you post haste!Also, go on......

I've been saying that for years. Even sent Sheldon Cooper a request to clone me. No response, sadly. *shrug*

Hawkins: Hey Billy. Billy! The other day, I went up to my girlfriend, I said, "Y'know I'd like a little pussy". She said, "Me too, mine's as big as a house!" [Billy stares blankly] Hawkins: See, she, she wanted a little one 'cause hers was... [Hawkins pauses, then trails off] Hawkins: ... big as a house.

Hawkins: Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't." [Billy stares blankly] Hawkins: See, cuz of the echo.

AngryJailhouseFistfark:As for me, I enjoy thick, wet, full, engorged labia when I sit down to feast upon my Special Lady's secret garden. It is the Sanctum sanctorum of all glory and honor, a moistened grotto whereupon I may pay homage and tribute to all the creative force of the universe, from an ancient explosion of ten million stars to the eruption and shift of continents to the trembling convulsions of my lover in the throes of orgasm, such is the wonder and brilliance and majesty of La Vagine. It is in this holy place, a garden possessed by every woman who ever lived; as common as the soil, and yet each more precious than the most refined cognac, the most perfect pearl, the pristine petals of the new-blossomed rose. Oh, to lay supine in awe and reverence as I draw the tender bloom into my mouth, to stroke and massage with my tongue, to paint and caress lovingly, to taste the sweet nectar, feel the supple kiss and full, ripe, press of her delicate secrets against my lips.

Yes, but no matter how well she's cleaned it, or how long it's been, you're still feasting on tiny, microscopic remains of every guy who ever blew a wad up in that.

kiwimoogle84:Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.

All women's vaginas get tight when they are achieving orgasm. If it's loose, then you're not doing your job.

This. It spasms tighter during and stays tight afterwards. She's not the only one who benefits from doing some groundwork first.

Dingleberry Dickwad:kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!

No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.

the_end_is_rear:My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Its the rash of bad vagina jokes, creates insecurity.

/seems like women are avoiding this thread. I'll check out the latest penis thread.

kiwimoogle84:Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!

No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.

You realize how hard it is to tell when someone is joking about something like that? Half the women I've seen here on Fark would have meant it as the evil bastard guy would do that intentionally as an act of vengeance for the woman not gobbling up his salty man gravy.

dalovindj:Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Rather amusing isn't it? If I had what looked like a vagina on say my elbow or shoulder one would wonder if I had some sort of condition or injury. Likewise if a woman had a penis on her heel.

Dingleberry Dickwad:kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!

No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.

You realize how hard it is to tell when someone is joking about something like that? Half the women I've seen here on Fark would have meant it as the evil bastard guy would do that intentionally as an act of vengeance for the woman not gobbling up his salty man gravy.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.

Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night

Have one for me. I'm temporarily staying with Mormon family.

Help.

Ouch, I had some relatives that lived out near Mormon territory when they were stationed at an Air Force base in Utah. They said they'd often get dirty looks when buying beer off base, and if you wanted beer for watching football games on Sunday you had to buy it the day before because a lot of areas had laws saying you couldn't buy beer on Sunday.

/loves living in beer country//also having Leinie's Honey Weiss available pretty much anywhere is awesome.

the_end_is_rear:My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

From a personal standpoint, my vagina is one of the parts of my body I've never worried about how it looks. Seems normal to me. Also, my eyes, ears, and butt all look fine. Everything else is moderatly bad to wretchingly god awful.