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Topic : 04/15 "Desperate for My Daughter"

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Created on : Friday, April 11, 2008, 08:19:27 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Raising children is no easy task, and even your best efforts can backfire. Adrienne knows about this pain firsthand. She says her 17-year-old daughter, Angela, was an honor student with dreams of becoming a doctor, but she ran away and is now a prostitute. Angela has only attended school for four or five months since 2005, is now pregnant and says it’s better on the streets than at home. Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, has a one-on-one chat with the troubled teen. Find out what Angela experienced on the run, and why she is so reluctant to reconcile with her mom. Then, Adrienne hasn’t seen her daughter in five months, and they face off on Dr. Phil's stage. Tempers flare, and Angela threatens to leave the show. Is their relationship ruined forever, or will the teen make peace with her mom? Join the discussion.

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Desperate for your daugter

I'm a 30 year old mother of 3 girls. I asked to be placed in foster care when I was 11 years old and got out at 17. During these years I had run away 15 times for periods of 24 hours to 2 1/2 months ( I always came back when scholl started, go figure! ). I have done lots of things during those times that I'm not proud of and wish my kids don't do the same. I think that I have an idea of the resons that she does not want to come home and hope that her mother will change some of her points of view. Then again, the girl must give a bit to. Can't wait to see how things pan out.

The Hidden Room

There is a story about an angel dusting clouds in heaven, looks down sees people dressed to the hilt, glasses in hand, laughing and having fun.

He says to Saint Peter, where is that, Peter replies, you don't want to think about there, But where is that the angel asks?

It's hell says Peter, in an instant, the angel opens his eyes, he finds himself in a horrible room, screaming and snashing of teeth, sees some guy who appears to be a guard, and asks, where am I, you're in hell.

No, No, says the angel, and proceeds to tell him what transpired in heaven, and Peter said, that was hell.

It is the guard replied, it is our marketing department.

It appears to be fun, until you are hooked, and lost from all that you are and could be, worse the road up and back is worse than anything imageable.

04/15 "Desperate for My Daughter"

Hi hi my name is Tina and I am 48 yrs old and have 5 children. If there is one thing I have learned through my motherhood and my chldren is, each and every one will learn at different stages of their life and as a born again christian my job in the eyes of God is to stand back, bite my tongue and but my whole entire faith in God. I know this may sound easy, but easy it is not!! In order for me to put my faith in God is to actually believe that God will sort out my family, now that takes faith!!!. When my children were young, I would think if my child came to and told me the worst about themslves how would I feel and react, this is when I would put myself in Jesus shoes and ask how would he react. Each time I would come up with you have to love no matter what, that does not mean you have to agree with what they do, but through it all you just simply love them. My eldest is 30 and my yougest is 9, and wow what challenges I have had, but you know the thing I did not give up on is that no matter bad they got and no matter what they got into, I always beleived and never gave up faith, that God would eventually touch their hearts. Slowly but surely with all their Drugs, alcohol, suicide, permiscuarity, aldultery, each and every one of my beautiful and awesome children have been touched by God. I never gave up no matter how bad it seemed, I just simply beleieved that they would be saved, and through this they would realise how precious life is. It is through positiveness and not negativity that our children feel that what they have done although not acceptable,but they feel you have forgiven them. Young adults will do some pretty stupid things, but lets face it how many out there can say they were not stupid in there youger days. Your children may only be here for a season, when it all boils down to it, is it not the love in your heart for them, more important than what they have done.

Childern Want to love thier parents

I to made ALLOT of mistakes with my own children .What I have learned is that thy want to have a parent who will be their for them. I had to change how I reacted and learned how to be who they needed me to be for them. It was something to watch how the healing started to change them and me once they realized I am not going anywhere I am in it for the long haul never to stop trying what ever it takes!!

This is for the young parents with young children make your children the priority in your life to do it right or like me you will spend a great deal of your time trying to heal from the guilt of my past behaviors. And telling my self that I did not know any better never has remove to pain.

13 CHILDREN DIE ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA EVERY DAY

In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspirations for life but to get high.

We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child wants to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.

More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15. Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive. Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to survive on the U.S. streets today. Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.

For more info: www.turnpurple.org

The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness.

Leaving Prostitution:

http://foundationcenter.org/sanfrancisco/gitn/sf_gitn_050104.html

DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits. Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading some of my favorite books on the subject:

Why It Is Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive by David Pelzer OR Switching Time by Richard Baer

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you should CALL these numbers until you speak with someone you can trust:

Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999

Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD

Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID

Volunteers of America www.voa.org

National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000

If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust.

BEEN THERE!!

I just finished watching "Desperate for my Daughter".

It was like watching my past flash before my eyes. I am now 57 years old...however, I really related with the daughter. From the ages of 10 to 13 or 14 I was sexually abused by an uncle...I was emotionally and physically abuse by my mother from the age of 5.

I started to run away from home when I was 14 years old and just like the young lady on the show I became pregnant at the age of 17.

I'd like to give the young lady a look at what COULD happen if changes are not made.

After I had my daughter I went home to mom so I could get help raiseing my child. Before the child had her first birthday I was gone again.

I had "experimented" with drugs too...before long I was addicted to heroin and cocaine.

Through the years I was in and out of my daughters life...in and out of prison....in and out of treatment centers even in and out of college. I had a lot of pain in my life and caused a great deal of pain to my daughter. I too had people in my life that wanted to help me but I wanted my "freedom" and I thought that I knew better.

Finally, after approximately 30 years of hell I became sick and tired of BEING sick and tired I finally quit the streets quit the drugs and quit that life-style. I at last became aware that I didn't know everything and that I didn't have all the right answers.

The reason I'm sharing this (and hopefully the daughter on the show will read this) is that you are now being given a great opportunity to turn things around...the resources being offered are tremendous if I had been offered these things and didn't have the attitude that I knew it all perhaps I would not have wasted most of my life.

mom and daughter relationship

i don't see how this mother and daughter can go back to living together right now. the mom obviously loves her daughter -- but -- the daughter was right -- as soon as the mom began to talk to her the old patterns emerged. besides, if she'sdoing well with her boyfriend right now, why not let her stay with him? i'm glad the girl agreed to the counseling and medical help dr. phil offered, though. i hope that both she and her mom will get counseling -- and maybe in time, joint counseling -- and that they will try to increase contact gradually. after all, the girl admits she still needs her mom, sometimes, and hey, the mom willbe the baby's grandma, too.

another point

i've read that rape victims sometimes turn to prostitution later on if they don't get therapy. i'm not saying all rape victims do this, but some. angela didn't get justice when she was raped, and i'm sure that had an effect. but neither did she get therapy and that matters, too. i hope now, with the help dr. phil is providing, she will recover emotionally and that she and her baby -- and the baby's dad if he contiues to come through for them -- willhave a good life. adrienne too.