Monday, September 26, 2011

Because our Twitter Town Hall was such a success, Big Guy is once again taking his pre-fundraiser show on the road. This week: California, where he’ll conduct a Townie at Linked-in headquarters to "answer questions about job creation and the economy from a live audience made up of LinkedIn members and employees, as well as questions that have been submitted from LinkedIn members across the country."

So that should be good. I just hope there aren’t a lot of those newly unemployed former Solyndra employees in the LinkedIn network.

Naturally, we expect the primary topic of the LinkedIn town hall to be that three letter word: JOBS, JOBS, JOBS. And Big Guy is coming prepared. First, he’s going to wave his JOBS bill at them like he did in the Rose Garden. It’s still not exactly written, which is why nobody has introduced it in Congress yet, butt we do know who’s responsible for coming up with the extra bucks Big Guy intends to spend on infrastructure jobs. That would be the super-committee - since they’re already looking for one and half trillion in savings, what’s another half tril?

Big Guy answers David Letterman’s perennial question: “If this Jobs Bill wasn’t real… could I do this with it?”

Let’s just say it’s a work in progress. Here’s what we know for sure about it: it’s going to raise taxes on everything and anyone who’s not “poor” (defined as anyone who tends to vote in a block for Democrats). And there are plans to create jobs so Big Guy can once again be proud of his country’s infrastructure. As he told us last week:

BO at the Brent-Spence bridge, which he found very inspirational

“Now, we used to have the best infrastructure in the world here in America. We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad, the Interstate Highway System. We built the Hoover Dam. We built the Grand Central Station.

So how can we now sit back and let China build the best railroads? And let Europe build the best highways? And have Singapore build a nicer airport?”

So here’s the plan: every unemployed American will be issued a free Erector Set

and a free set of Leggos from the “City” collection

They will receive an additional 52 weeks of unemployment if they commit to build an infrastructure project of their choice and design. Additionally, if their design is an energy efficient, clean, green and sustainable infrastructure design, they will get yet another 52 weeks of unemployment, and have their income taxes waived for life (note: Until further notice, solar cell plants are off the table and will not qualify for the extra benefits. Butt be sure to check back later, as we’re constantly updating the rules.).

And, to the first person to build the next “Intercontinental Railroad,” a free lifetime family pass to Euro-Disneyland – which soon you’ll be able to reach by a new Intercontinental Railroad! Thanks to the vision and genius of America’s first Intercontinental President. Who won’t rest until every unemployed American who wants a job, has one. So get to work with your new free stuff!

Euro Disneyland, Paris

The world’s first true high speed Intercontinental Railway will start in Disneyland, Anaheim California:

and end in Paris at Euro Disneyland:

The following are just a few suggestions – to get you started - for the types of infrastructure projects that will be approved by Big Guy’s new Department of Infrastructure ‘R Us. For more details please go to www.HelpBarackPassThisBillRightNow.gov.

bridges, trains, rocket launchers:

Give NASA a new Leggo home!

So get to work: Right Now! If you have other ideas of your own, be sure to submit them to our website, and you could win that lifetime Disney pass! (And don’t forget to tune in at 2:00 pm today for our live, interactive, LinkedIn town hall!)