20161220

It's that time of the year, and
for the 18th time*, I have no choice but to wish you a happy next year,
considering what's going to happen in 2017:January 2017:On the 20th, Vladimir Putin is sworn in as the 45th POTUS.Donald Trump is swearing in the background.

February 2017:In the final moments of Superbowl LI in Houston, the Moscow Hackers upset the New York Trumps as Barron Trump fumbles Mike Pence's Hail Mary pass.March 2017:Theresa May triggers Article 50, but Brexit backfires, and the UK lands into a limbo known as Breshold.April 2017:

Galaxy S8 sells like hotcakes, and as hotcake warmers. Meanwhile, Apple celebrates its 100,000th iPhone 7 explosion without a recall, and Huawei posts record sales of its latest stylus, the Frying Pen.May 2017:In the French presidential elections, Putin friend Francois Fillon defeats Putin-friendly Marine Le Pen. After so many good news, Vladimir Putin dies of a heart attack. June 2017:The 46th President of the United States, Mike Pence, scares Ruth Bader Ginsburg to death beforenominating a fundamentalist to replace her. July 2017:Vice-President Donald Trump and former Vice-President Dan Quayle form a rock band called 'The Unpresidented Potatoe'.August 2017:Usain Bolt is prevented from taking part to the Athletics World Championships in London, and a Luxembourgian wins the 100 meter dash following the publication of JamaicaLeaks, RussiaLeaks, AmericaLeaks, and Breleaks.September 2017:Following successful terror/ fake news campaigns fueled by ISIS, Dmitry Medvedev, and Breitbart Deutschland, Angela Merkel loses the German federal elections to Frauke Petry (AfD), who invites Donald Trump to her victory lap in Nuremberg.October 2017:At long last, JFK assassination records are disclosed. DJT says he'll release his tax returns in 2070.November 2017: