Is It Wrong to Steer Business Away From a Philanderer?

I manage a boutique retail shop and buy my products from various local distributors. I have never felt it wrong to steer business away from sales reps who serviced our account poorly or were too pushy and rude. Is it wrong, however, to steer business away from a rep who has always done a very good job, and who was actually a good friend, but who has done something that I find reprehensible? The offense being that he cheated on his wife. NAME WITHHELD, CONNECTICUT

You ask whether steering business away from a philanderer is “wrong.” That’s difficult to parse in these circumstances, because it seems as if two different questions are in play simultaneously. The first is “Is it ethically acceptable to make this decision?” The second question is “Is it reasonable to make this decision?” I think the first answer is (definitely) yes, and the second answer is (probably) no.

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You’re operating a for-profit business. It’s not a charitable, democratic entity — you’re not responsible for making sure every sales rep has an equal opportunity to earn a living. You can decide which reps you do business with, and you get to dictate the criteria for which business relationships you intend to foster. The fact that you have a standard for which individuals you choose to interact with — only efficient, polite people who don’t cheat on their wives — suggests that morals inform how you operate your enterprise. This is all good. So if this infidelity is something you feel strongly about, I don’t see any ethical problem with jettisoning this sales rep from your day-to-day work life. You can steer your business away from anyone you don’t feel comfortable with, assuming your bias isn’t discriminatory toward an entire class of people.

That said, I don’t think this is a particularly rational decision. Judging from your letter, I’m inferring that you were once friends with this sales rep, which is how you learned these problematic details about his marital life. If you want to end your interpersonal friendship on account of those indiscretions, that’s totally justified. But your business relationship is different. Do you fear that his inability to be faithful to his wife means he will be unscrupulous toward everyone else he encounters? Do you believe people who cheat on their spouses need to be punished by the rest of the society? Are you certain this secondhand information is 100 percent accurate? Those are all extreme positions to adopt. Moreover, your lack of intimate knowledge about other sales reps doesn’t mean they are not crossing the same ethical lines you have drawn for this man. Maybe they’re all having affairs.

Now, I realize there’s a very reasonable response to my argument: “Sure, I can’t know everything about everyone I work with. But I do know this specific thing about this specific guy, and I don’t want him around because of it.” But if this is going to be your policy, you will need to ask some difficult questions about yourself, all your employees and everyone you do business with. Your moral rules should not apply exclusively to the one person who broke them most vividly.

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A version of this article appears in print on November 10, 2013, on Page MM20 of the Sunday Magazine with the headline: Am I My Vendor’s Keeper?. Today's Paper|Subscribe