2006 Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool by removing themselves from it.

A Slow Burn
2006 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

A Rare Double Darwin!

(6 July 2006, Ohio) Insurance fraud is harder than it looks. Just ask
Andreas, who lost his life trying to collect on an amputated limb. Just
ask Musa and his son Essa, who hired an arsonist to burn down their Steak
Thyme sub shop so they could collect the insurance money. They promised
the arsonist a $60,000 a year job, although where he would work once the
shop was ashes is unknown.

Three times he tried, and three times he failed to destroy the sandwich
shop. Whether it was a Molotov cocktail thrown through the window, or
chairs doused with gasoline and set ablaze, the result was the same. Minor
damage. The neighborhood was up in arms over the apparent "hate crimes"
repeatedly being committed against the two Jordanian immigrants.

After the third bungled arson
Musa boasted in a televised interview, "If someone is trying to shut
me out of business, it's not going to happen. This is my life and
nobody's going to take that away from me." Nobody but himself!

Musa grew tired of throwing good money after bad. This was getting him
nowhere! For the fourth arson attempt, only 12 hours after the flaming
chairs fizzled, he and his son decided to help their hired hand. They
spread gasoline around their eatery. A single match would do the trick.

Tragically, they had more talent for arson than their amateur arsonist.
They took a cigarette break. One flick of a lighter later, a gas explosion
took out one wall, and burned both men so severely that, despite several
weeks of hospitalized care, the men died.

Reader comment:"It would have been easier just to run their business...""If you want something done right..."