I think it would be normal for a man to want to be a preschool teacher, and I know some dads who would be *amazing* at the job - much better than their wives would be. ;) But I would be a liar if I said I didn't discriminate. I think it would be nice for DD to have a male teacher in the group setting, but I'd have to know someone really, really well to hire a male babysitter for one on one at home. I definitely am unfair in this area, even though in principle I think it's fine. (No need to tell me I'm unjustified and prejudiced - I know already!)

Would be nice if DD had a male teacher, though, to Kar's point about getting more comfortable. Right now she's only immediately comfortable with DH and one grandfather, for men - these are also the only men she sees at least once a week! But she often ends up fine with our other male relatives or friends - just takes longer during the gathering to get there than it does with women. So it's not like a total dislike of men (maybe I made it out to be more extreme?) - it just takes more time to warm up, and time is something you don't have a lot of at an annual appointment!

I never really thought about male vs female teachers for toddler rooms and preschool before. I wish DS's school had one. He loves his baseball coach and keeps asking to go back to baseball so he can hang out with him. DH spends a ton of time with him, but it must be nice to interact with a guy who's not your dad, who doesn't drag you on errands or make you eat your vegetables or take a bath if you're a little guy.

DS currently has a female doctor, he'll be 13 in 4 short weeks (eeks!). Last year the puberity talk came up and his cute little face turned pink when she starting asking him questions. On the way home I did ask him if he'd like a male doctor and he said no.

Winter - His pink face might have been because you were there- not just a doctor asking about puberty, but Mom is right there too! Maybe for this year's appointment, ask if he wants you to step out. But have that talk before you even go to the doctor. That way he has time to think about it, and isn't on the spot.

Winter- I remember the first time my female doc started asking me the puberty questions-oye! I still remember how uncomfortable I felt. Doctor's should give parents a warning of these things-so we can warn the kids.

Kar-in my small town growing up there were two female doctors in town that we tried (hated them both). My mother wanted to find us advocates for education and show us empowered woman achieving great things-we left the first one when she said to my mother "they're pretty girls-they'll get married one day, you don't have to worry about their education." After the two female doctors didn't work in my town I had to go to a female one in Boston...ugh, hated her! I must be one of the few women who prefers male doctors, and actively avoid female ones.

I'm wondering how others manage to get veggies into their LO's school/daycare lunches? I just started packing a lunch for DD about a month ago. So far I've only done pouches or apple sauce medleys w/veg in them. Raw carrots aren't allowed (choking hazard), so at some point I'll manage to boil some in advance so she can dip them in guac or hummus. If I were to give her leftovers from dinner, which I've only done once so far, there would be veg involved. Any other ideas? I wonder if I just gave her a little container of brocolli if she'd actually eat it. Does anyone else find it annoying that daycare throws away what they don't eat?? I will have to ask them if it's possible to stop doing that. I don't want to keep sending her something that she only picks at.

Fram - I can commiserate, but don't have any great advice because DD pretty much does not eat vegetables. We, too, got annoyed when school would throw away all leftovers and not communicate how much (if any) she ate. In the toddler room, they did a "daily sheet", part of which was devoted to us writing down what she was given for lunch, and them writing down what she actually ate. Sometimes they were non-specific about what was eaten. We found when she transitioned to the preschool room, since they did not do a "daily sheet" anymore, they no longer threw out the leftovers. That was helpful since some things were fine to keep (like a wrapped granola bar). I would go ahead and ask them. Either that, or tell them you need them to write down exactly what/how much she does and does not eat.

I really miss the daily sheets - our daycare also does not do them in the preschool / preK rooms. But, Fram, definitely ask them to not throw it away - ours does not throw it away, so it's kind of useful. I also don't have good advice since my DD also does not eat vegetables. Unless ketchup counts. :) But I used to send carrots sliced thin (I guess you could cook them a bit?) and halved grape tomatoes. I would usually send a little container of hummus or dressing. I would say any way your LO would eat them at home, try to do that for daycare as well.

KAM, interesting re the female docs you despised, lol - my folks are in town so I'm not online as often, but wanted to acknowledge. I prefer male docs, as well, but not sure if that is a carryover of my "fatherless" childhood or what. It applies to my closest friends, too...is that weird? I have women friends, too, but none that go back as far as a couple of guys, one 20 years, another 11.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, IPW on the potty training! Remember, everyone, that children who are new to potty training USUALLY DO NOT tell you when they need to go. Don't expect that until they've been in underpants for 3-6 months. So for now, you need to have them go every 2 hours, and at all the times that make sense (before getting into car, before going outside, immediately after getting in from outside, before bed, first thing in morning, before nap, after nap, before meals, after meals). That they hold it and let it go only in the potty is the break through at this point. Once they get that concept, then they will start to tell you they gotta go (in enough time to hold it and make it there, LOL).

So when they are busy playing, you break in 1/2 way through and say, It's potty break time, time to take a break and go potty" in a nice happy, but no discussion voice. Once they take a potty break they can get right back to playing. Believe me, toddler and preschool teachers do NOT wait for their 8-16 preschoolers to tell them when they gotta go - there are distinct times when all diapers are changed and all pottyers go potty. Period. End of discussion. (and of course kids in underpants can go any other times, gladly!)

About the veggies, my daughter (2 and a half) almost always prefers raw veggies. You could try bell peppers, green beans, snow peas, cucumbers, carrots and celery sliced in skinny sticks, even zucchini sliced in small sticks, broccoli or cauliflower in small pieces. All could be dipped in hummus or dressing. Belonging to a CSA really helped in making her interested in trying veggies. It's exciting to get the box every week, and I know friends have had success with their toddlers eating more veggies after growing a garden. You could even try involving them at the grocery store produce section, have them pick out which color bell pepper they want... worth a try!

Betty... I'm jealous. There is not one of those items above that my son would eat. Cooked or raw. He's convinced he hates them - even when he's never seen them before. I don't know how, but somehow he just knows its a vegetable. Whereas he'll try most any fruit. Strange. He only gets veggies if in pasta sauce (which he isn't crazy about) or those snack pouches. I keep offering and we'll see.

CT - thanks for that tip. We definitely have some rules so far for potty at definitive times, which he gets completely. Before the car, bath, wake-up. However, I am finding that he's starting to get really mad at me when I ask him at other random times (he's a control kid, and whenever possible he wants things on his terms...something I keep a decent rein on). I keep asking though and ensuring he knows the potty is avail. Last night, halfway through dinner he said he had to go. I started rushing because I'm still not sure of his ability to hold it once he says he has to go. He casually got off his chair, went into bathroom... climbed up his stool to turn on the light (all while I'm freaking out that he's about to let loose). He finally climbed up on the potty and went. I was quite surprised he was able to hold it. The first day at daycare, Wed, he only had a BM accident and then yesterday, no accidents at all. I'll be totally stunned if he got this so fast. I'm still keeping my piddle pads in the car seats and will be carting my "potty backpack" with multiple changes of clothes/shoes around for a while though.

Betty, I'm also very envious of your veggie success with a 2.5 year old. My DD is exactly like IPW's. We got all excited the other day about picking our first home-grown tomato. DD was very enthusiastic about trying it. Then I gave her a piece. It was like I put dog p0o on her plate. But I keep offering. Sometimes she'll agree to lick them.

IPW and Poppy - yup and yup. Betty - I am jealous as well! We had a CSA, picked vegetables in my mom's garden, talked about the colors, chose things together at the grocery store, prepared them together... sometimes she will lick them and occasionally take a bite, but often then needs a napkin to spit the bite back out. :) Whatever... I give her accolades when she does try something, but other than that I leave it alone. Her doctor suggested we could try a sticker chart, but honestly, I'm not sure I agree. I'm a fan of the "we put it out there, you decide whether or not to eat it" approach. She used to like ranch dressing but has gone off it... I wonder if she would eat them dipped in ketchup?? The other night when she was busily not eating chicken (she also doesn't eat much meat), she wanted ketchup but I said she could only have it if she had something *with* the ketchup and she ended up eating a good amount of chicken. Veggies in ketchup sounds terrible, but she really likes ketchup!

Betty - add me to the jealous chorus. The only veggies DS eats (at home anyway, I hear he eats most at school) are cucumbers and corn and carrots (usually raw carrots with hummus or ranch).

He'll ask for veggies at the store - tomatoes usually and he always makes me buy a head of broccoli, but he once I serve them he looks at me like I'm insane. But I can't complain too terribly much because he eats a ton of fruit - apples, berries, citrus, bananas, melons, etc. He loves fruit. I know he'll eventually come around to veggies, but it would be nice if he'd come around sooner rather than later.

I can't remember if I already said this in another post, but I've heard from 2 different pediatricians that if kids eat fruit, they don't HAVE to eat veggies. Obviously we all want our kids to try them, and DH and I do keep putting them on her plate at dinner every night, but I felt better knowing that it's not going to cause her physical harm to not eat them right now.

Med - DS (14 months) loves ketchup and would happily eat the ketchup off of his tray without any food. I've started putting a glob of ketchup on his tray and then putting his chicken/hamburger/ect. in the ketchup. That way he will eat the items already covered in ketchup. Just a little trick that works for us, there is no way I could get him to actually dip the food, he would rather eat the ketchup off his hand.

As for veggies, DS is usually pretty good about eating them but a few ways we've gotten him to eat more is putting diced broccoli in his morning scrambled eggs. And he loves edamame salad (we buy ours from BJ's) but will refuse to eat edamame plain.

Sorry to jump in from I&T; I'll continue lurking and learning about what we have in store!

Jump in any time, CLC :o)I was thinking that if raw carrots weren't allowed, I probably shouldn't send anything else raw, but now that I look at Betty's list I think there are some things (like peppers) that are much easier to bite into. DD is pretty good about veggies. She'll eat peas, carrots, corn, brocolli, and cauliflower, but I've tried others with no luck. If it's a meal where I can cut them up and mix it all together that works.

DD loooooves ketchup. She will dip anything in it. If I make something like chicken nuggets, sweet potato fries, and brocolli, all three items go in the ketchup. Fine with me!

I asked daycare about throwing out the food and it turns out that they usually empty each kid's lunch onto a plate and then dump the leftovers. At least there's a logical reason! Here I was thinking that DD ate her leftovers out of her little thermos, and then they emptied out the rest for no apparent reason.

DS and veggies... that is always a battle. Oddly though, for a long time, daycare said he would refuse all fruit and only eat the veggies they offered... and he is so inconsistent over veggies... some days, he will just eat all the peas and pick them out of the pasta and then some days, he reverses that. And he does that licking thing too, or touch to his lips then say "I don't like it" anytime we try to coax him to try something new. And if you take something he likes and serve it so it looks different, the look he gives is like we were trying to poison him. For snack for his class that requires him to bring one, we just gave him pre-cut apple slices, and for a while, he did not touch them... but then one day I noticed he was eating them, so I realized that it is just repetition and being used to what it is.

Then we have DD who is almost a year, and even at this age, she is like a garbage disposal... which we find interesting (DS at this age was such a picky eater already - but i have to say, I think he got pickier at around 18-24 months)... anything that is put in front of her goes into her mouth, and she loves all kinds of things like carrots, broccoli - but put avocado, raspberries or mandarin oranges in sight, and she will chuck everything else on the floor in favor of those (in fact, at school, her teacher has to hide the oranges and give her other food first before oranges because otherwise she would scream until she ate all of them, leaving little for the other babies).

We did manage to get DS to try avocado simply because he could see she loved avocado so much, and he wanted to know what she liked so much.

But I so wish it was not always a struggle to figure out how to get the fruits and veggies into him each day.

Not pertaining to anything, but I need ideas for things I can do tomorrow on my own with both kids (1 and 2.10), since DH is working. Thinking of Stevens-Coolidge Place in N. Andover. Anyone ever been? Looks lovely online. I am after a relatively quiet day that both kids (and ideally, I) can enjoy. Maybe a picnic? And there is a playground around the corner if DD gets bored.

Any other thoughts for a solo parent and 2 kids that isn't a ton of work?