Piper: Oh, well, you know, I've been meaning to call you but, you know... Leo's the father.

Victor: Leo? I thought you guys split up.

Piper: We did.

Victor: Well, then how... I don't understand.

(They walk into the living room.)

Piper: Uh, he was dying and I was crying... Um, it's all very complicated.

(They sit down.)

Victor: So Leo, he's, um, moved on?

Piper: Yeah, but I'm happy for him, he really wanted to go.

Victor: He wanted to die?

Piper: No, no, no, no, he's not dead, he's just up there being a full time Elder.

Victor: He doesn't know about this?

Piper: No, no, not yet. Did I mention this was very all complicated? The point is he's not around.

Victor: Was he ever?

Piper: Were you? Sorry.

Victor: No, no, no, I deserve that. I wasn't around enough for you girls, but I want to make up for that with Wyatt and this little...

Piper: It's a boy. Chris, actually.

Victor: Chris? Why'd you choose that name?

Piper: I don't know, and he won't tell me. He's very secretive about the future. He's actually the reason I asked you to come. See, he, um, hates me and he doesn't want to talk to me and I need you to find out why.

Ramona: Oh, wow. Are you famous too? You look famous. Okay, so, um, dweeb time, but, um, since I knew you when, can I have your autograph?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, of course. Uh, I usually charge twenty dollars for it.

Ramona: I think I have a twenty here somewhere.

Phoebe: No, I'm kidding!

(Ramona laughs.)

Ramona: I used to do everything Phoebe said. Hey, remember that night when you snuck me into the country club in the trunk of your car? And then you left me there so that you could go make out with Todd on the golf course.

Phoebe: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Actually, I'm sorry about a lot of the tricks we used to play on you.

Ramona: Tricks? You made me feel like part of the gang. Those were the best times of my life.

Paige: So I think you need to tell me more about this gang. What else did she do?

(Todd walks up to them.)

Todd: One time she broke into the principal's office, just to make out with some guy on his desk.

Phoebe: See, now I remember that it was you that broke into the principal's office and I just tagged along out of curiosity. Ah, where's Paula?

Todd: She's around somewhere.

Ramona: This is so awesome! It's like the gang is all back together again. Well, almost.

Paige: Oh, yeah, where's the ringleader?

Phoebe: Rick, good old Rick. Where is Rick?

Todd: I heard he got picked up for a liquor store robbery.

Phoebe: Oh my god, are you kidding? Did he do it?

Todd: Only what I read in your paper. And I read everything you write.

Phoebe: Thanks. I'm flattered. So what are you doing now?

(He pulls out a business card.)

Todd: I'm a personal injury lawyer.

Phoebe: Wow, that sounds interesting.

Todd: Well, it's not. But it's legal, just barely. Pays the mortgage. I miss the fun we used to have.

Phoebe: Yeah, me too.

(Paula walks over to Todd.)

Paula: Todd. There you are, sweetie. (to Phoebe) There you are. I was wondering if you had the nerve to show up.

Phoebe: What do you mean nerve?

Paula: Oh, you're the talk of the reunion. You know, you can fool San Francisco with your pithy advice, but you can't fool us. We all know you, sweetie.

Todd: That's enough, Paula.

Phoebe: What is that supposed to mean?

Paula: It means you're a fake. The only thing you were ever known for was lying and ditching and stealing boyfriends.

Paige: Phoebe, are you gonna let someone with a giant helmet that passes for hair talk to you like that?

Ramona: God, Paula, just because Todd had a thing for Phoebe, you don't have to be so mean.

Paula: I'm not being mean, I'm doing her a favour. To the rest of the world, you might be Ask Phoebe, but to us you'll always be freebie.

(Phoebe walks away.)

Paige: Are you okay?

(Paige follows Phoebe.)

Paula: Hey, let's dance.

[Cut to the hallway. Phoebe and Paige walk in.]

Paige: Hey. Why didn't you just tell that chick to go screw herself? (Phoebe flashes back to her teenage self and then flashes back.) Phoebe?

Phoebe: Okay, what just happened?

Paige: You tell me.

Phoebe: I have no idea. I was just standing here and then I had some weird high school flashback.

Paige: Yeah, your whole body just flashed back.

Phoebe: What? Are you kidding me? I just felt...

Paige: Pissed?

Phoebe: Very.

Paige: Well, as someone whose seen Carrie, both versions, I'd say the reunion is over.

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper, Chris and Victor are sitting at the table.]

Victor: So we're close?

Chris: Yeah. You're awesome, Grandpa.

Victor: (to Piper) Did you hear that? Awesome.

Chris: Yeah, after the event happened, we got really close.

Piper: What event?

Chris: I can't tell you.

Piper: Is this, um, event my fault? Is that why you're treating me like a non-person?

Chris: I can't talk about it, it will mess with the future.

Victor: But you did say I was awesome, right? You can talk about that?

Chris: Yeah. You're the best, I love hanging out with you.

Victor: I gotta admit, I'm a little surprised. I mean, it's no secret I wasn't the greatest dad. It means a lot to me that I could do something to make up for it.

Chris: You do.

Piper: After the event.

Chris: Right.

Piper: That you won't tell me about.

Chris: I told you, I can't talk about it, okay?

Victor: Hey, don't talk to your mother like that, okay?

Chris: You're right. I'm sorry.

Paige's Voice: Piper!

[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe and Paige walk in through the front door. Piper and Victor walk in from the kitchen.]

Piper: Hey, what's going on?

Phoebe: Hi, daddy.

Victor: Hi, sweetie.

(They hug.)

Paige: Okay, I hate to cut this reunion short, I think we've had enough of those for today. Now you go upstairs until we figure this out.

Phoebe: I am not that person anymore. I am not, so whatever you think you're doing, we're... (She walks past the mirror and her teenage reflection shows up in the mirror. Phoebe faces the mirror and sees her normal self.) What is happening to me? (Her phone rings and she answers it.) Hello, this is Phoebe... I think.

Todd: Hey, where'd you go? Are you okay?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Todd: Listen, I'm sorry about Paula. It always burned her up, you know, you and me together.

Phoebe: Yeah, hey, listen...

Todd: The only reason I came to this thing was because of you, hoping I'd see you again. (Silence.) You there?

Phoebe: Yeah. I need to ask you a question. Um, was I really a different person when you knew me?

Todd: Different? How do you mean?

Phoebe: Well, you know, what Paula said.

Todd: Phoebe, we were kids. We were young, we were dumb, we didn't let anything stand in our way.

Phoebe: Yeah, I remember.

Todd: I don't know about you, but I miss it. When was the last time you were wild, you know? Really wild. The way we used to be.

Phoebe: Actually, quite recently, to tell you the truth.

Paula's Voice: Who is that? Who are you talking to? Is this Freebie?

(Phoebe changes into her teenage self.)

Phoebe: You bet your ass. And I'm coming to get you, bitch.

(Phoebe hangs up and goes over to the window. She climbs out.)

[Cut to outside the conservatory. Chris and Victor are there smoking the cigars. Chris coughs.]

Victor: Sorry, bad idea.

Chris: It's cool, it's just strong.

Victor: I was just trying to help us bond a little, you know.

Chris: We don't need help bonding, we're cool.

Victor: In the future, but I haven't been there yet, you know. I'm feeling a little out of sync here. Um, well, are you hungry? Do you wanna grab a bite?

[Scene: County Jail. A room. A man and two women are waiting there. A guard brings Rick into the room.]

Rick: You're not my lawyers.

Man: Well, Mr. Gittridge, we're here at the request of your public defender. May I call you Rick?

Rick: No. You don't look much like a defence team to me.

Guard: Sit down, Gittridge.

(Rick sits down and the guard leaves the room.)

Woman: Mr. Gittridge, did you at one time provide Phoebe Halliwell with a smoke bomb during a school assembly?

Rick: Alright, what is this? (The man and women laugh. One of the women morphs into teenage Phoebe. Rick jumps out of his chair.) Stay away from me. (Phoebe waves her hand and the other two morph into Todd and Ramona.) Geez.

(Rick picks up the chair.)

Todd: Chill out, Rick, it's us.

Phoebe: We just came by to say hi.

Ramona: Hi.

(The guard comes back in the room and Rick hits him over the head with the chair. He closes the door.)

Rick: Alright, what the hell's going on? How'd you guys do that?

Phoebe: Wait, are you crazy or just stupid?

Rick: Tell me how you did that!

Todd: It's Phoebe, she does things like magic, but for real.

Rick: Wow. We'll see how real..

Ramona: Um, this isn't supposed to happen, it's a prank. We just came to say hi.

Phoebe: You want me to use my magic to get you out of here?

(Rick unlocks the handcuffs with the keys hanging on the guard's belt.)

Rick: Oh, I know you are. Only way you're getting outta here too. In for a penny, in for a pound. Let's go.

[Cut to the abandoned gas station. Todd is laying unconscious on the ground. Phoebe appears in a swirl of lights.]

Phoebe: Todd. Todd! Are you okay?

(Rick walks out from behind the cop car.)

Rick: Did you go to the cops?

Phoebe: No, I didn't, I swear. Where's Ramona?

Rick: Somewhere safe.

Phoebe: What is that supposed to mean?

Rick: I got nervous when you took off. I didn't know where you went so I decided I need a little leverege.

Phoebe: Where is she?

Rick: Don't take a tone with me, Pheebs. Not if you don't want to see your friend again. She's locked up tight, now if you want her to keep breathing, you're gonna do what I say. Don't you just love reunions?

[Scene: Alley. Phoebe and Rick are driving down the alley in the cop car.]

Rick: They should be passing by any minute. You stop up there.

Phoebe: You don't have to do this, you know, you have a choice.

Rick: A choice? Here's my choice. Freedom with money to burn, or life in prison.

Phoebe: You won't get life.

Rick: Maybe not, but I'll get thirty to forty years. That robbery was my third strike.

Phoebe: So you did do it?

Rick: Yeah, but you knew that. Even before you got all grown up.

Phoebe: Don't do this, Rick. Don't make things worse than they already are. Just tell me where Ramona is.

Rick: I get what I want, she'll go free.

Phoebe: Yeah, except guys like you never get what they want.

Rick: I'm not for lack of trying, that's for damn sure. I got a feeling this time it's gonna be different, 'cause I got magic on my side.

Phoebe: God, what happened to you?

Rick: Me? What happened to you? You're the one who changed. You got all different.

Phoebe: Yeah, I did.

(An Armored truck drives around the corner.)

Rick: Go. (Phoebe pulls out in front of the truck so the truck so the truck is now following them.) You're gonna do this just like I said, then you're gonna give me a new face. And not one of them lawyer faces you used, something new. Or Ramona dies, are we clear? (Phoebe stops and the Armored truck stops behind them. Rick looks in the side mirror.) Go, go, go.

(Phoebe turns the corner.)

Phoebe: I can't guarantee you a perfect spell, you know?

Rick: What do you mean? I saw you do magic.

Phoebe: No, you saw a hormonal teenage witch with no fear of consequences.

Rick: Leave the consequences to me. (The Armored truck continues to follow them. Rick slams his foot on the break and the Armored truck runs into the back of them.) Go, now!

Phoebe: "Make them see what can not be, flames that leap to make them flee." (Flames appear in the truck and the two men jump out of it. One of the men is on fire.) Oh my god, he's on fire.

Rick: Yeah, wasn't that the idea?

Phoebe: No, it was just supposed to be an illusion.

(Rick runs over and attacks one of the men. Phoebe hits the man on fire with a coat to put the fire out. Rick knocks the man out and points a shotgun at him. Phoebe dives on Rick and they fall to the ground. They struggle with each other to get to the shotgun. Rick gets to it and points it at Phoebe.)

Rick: It wouldn't be the first time I killed someone. Let's get the money.

(Rick goes inside the truck.)

Phoebe: "Make him hear what isn't there, his deepest worries come to bear."

Phoebe: You know, I'm thinking maybe you should use our nephew for inspiration.

Paige: "Who you were, you're now another, take the face of Wyatt's brother."

(Rick turns into Chris. He looks in the mirror.)

Chris: Yeah, I like it. This'll work.

Paige: Pheebs, watch out, this could get messy. (Phoebe and Paige hide behind a wall. Three Scabbar demons appear in the room. Rick shoots at them but doesn't harm them. They spit the green acid goo at Rick which melts him to nothing. The demons disappear. Phoebe and Paige come out from behind the wall.) You okay?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: You know you had to, right?

Phoebe: I know.

[Scene: Manor. Phoebe's room. Phoebe is there looking through her year book. Paige walks in.]