Yes, the Oscars would be much simpler if they just awarded them based on box office. Which would make Hancock the 4th best movie of 2008. (I feel very safe saying that Hancock was not the 4th best anything in 2008.)

But, Slumdog Millionaire is approaching $170m in box office. Benjamin Button, about $243m. So you can't really say either of those two movies is not popular.

Too many words - Requiring just 8 words to tell properly "Hello, Roger, I was just thinking of you."), Mallard uses 23 instead, with predictable results.

Not Any Way - Using "not any way" instead of "no way" is just one about a half-dozen assaults on the language in this miserable bit of doggerel.

One Little Word - When attempting to be taken seriously, it would help if the writer understood the difference between "revealed to Al Gore" and "revealed by Al Gore" and was able to use the appropriate one.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

As opposed to the Bush Administration's Bank Bailout, in which they took the victim's wallet, gave all of the money away, and did not even ask for Administrative oversight so they would know where the money went.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Frankly, the Obama Administration deserves to be the butt of Letterman/Stewart/Colbert jokes for not doing their homework. After the last 8 years, I am just hoping this is not a small sign of a larger incompetence.

Guilt by Association - On one hand, ascribing guilt by association with Rod Blagojevich to President Lincoln would be crazy. On the other hand, did you know Rod Blegojevich and President Obama are both from Illinois? It's true, you can look it up on Conservapedia.

Bonus points to Mallard this year for such an impressive effort, while lacking a Larry Craig figure about which to be hypocritical.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Only problem is that criticizing people who had no power or ability to impact our lives worked fine for Mallard prior to 2006 when he was rampant in criticizing Democrats and Liberals. At the same time, not a word of criticism was uttered about the Republicans who held power, even though they (in the words of Matt Taibbi):

"...castrated the political minority, abdicated their oversight responsibilities mandated by the Constitution, enacted a conscious policy of massive borrowing and unrestrained spending, and installed a host of semipermanent mechanisms for transferring legislative power to commercial interests."

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

No Grad Students - Some sort of parable about Oil Company profits veers into the absurd.

Called Shot - Mallard calls the result of the 2008 election just a little bit too early, apparently having internalized the Bush credo that popularity outside America is a bad thing.

Singer-Songwriter - Less than a week after an historic election, Mallard makes an even more historic stand against singer-songwriters.

Gift Card - Mallard states the completely obvious, for reasons still not quite clear.

Pop Tarts - The pile of groceries causes the reader to spend 30 minutes trying to figure out why Mom wants her daughter to be a Toaster Pastry. After you finally realizes Mallard didn't mean those Pop Tarts, it is less mystifying, but a lot more cranky.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

For a guy who was complaining that President Obama did not "believe in commerce," Mallard really does not believe in commerce. Or does he believe that Big Spending Liberals "institutionalized" St. Valentines Day on some nefarious day in the past?

The only consistency in Mallard's ideology is his narrow mindset. Strict adherence to everything Mallard believes is the only way to avoid being called a traitor or apostate.

Roddy McGillivrey - Complaints about local judicial elections. An image continuity error in panel 2...where did the beanie go? And Mallard illustrates someone "riding coat tails" by having them grab a drape.

What's Racist - Two images of a Straw Liberal to break up yet another rant about how aggreived Mallard feels by the fact that everyone calls him a racist.

After you spend the hour necessary to read all the text in these 5 nominees, go vote.