@Oh, squiggles Or the Ethical Humanists/Ethical Culture Society? I think they do the things you're talking about--meet regularly, have lectures, do community work--with explicitly non-religious (or at least non-theological) motivations. Some people might consider it spiritual practice but some are just seeking that kind of community outside of a religious context. My very non-religious dad used to go to meetings in NYC.

Did this remind anybody else of the This American Life about testosterone? I'm thinking specifically about the part where Griffin Hansbury, who is trans, talked about how people reacted to his behavior towards women pre- and post-transition.

"I've gotten into a lot of arguments with women friends, co-workers, who did not know about my past as a female. I call myself a post-feminist. And I had a woman say, you're not a post-feminist. You're a misogynist. And I said, that's impossible. I can't be a misogynist.

"And I couldn't explain to her how I had come to this point in my life. And to her, I was just a misogynist. And that's unfortunate because it's a lot more complicated than that."

@packedsuitcase Ooh, nice job on the shoe stipulation. We were forbidden from wearing Converse to prom at my school. My junior year, a bunch of alt kids were turned away for wearing sneakers with their tuxes. I remember angry editorials in the school newspaper pointing out that it was the well dressed popular kids who were wreaking most of the drunk havoc.