People And Their Opinions

Questions & Answers

Gurudev, what to choose between these two things: life in this beautiful world with a Guru like you, or liberation and ultimate union with the Divine?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You can have both; this does not have to be a choice. You can lead a happy life in this beautiful world, and you can get liberation also.Main thing is, don’t be a football of other people’s opinions.Many times, you do things because others want you to do it. No need! Be strong in yourself and see life from a bigger perspective.

You don’t know who your real friend is; this is the difficulty.In the world, what has happened, you think someone is your friend and you show off to them, 'Oh, I got this, and I got that', and they are jealous. They are not happy about it.

If you show that you are good, then they are not happy, and if you show you are not good, then also they don’t care for you.It's sort of a dilemma that most people face. If you show you are really good in something, they are not happy, they are jealous. And if you don’t prove yourself, they don’t think you are up to the mark, and so they don’t look up to you.

So in any situation, it is not worth wasting your time on what those people are thinking about you. Do you get it? Let them think what they want. If they think you are an angel, fine. If they think you are a devil, fine. If they think you are dumb, foolish, or whatever; you should feel, 'Okay, go ahead and think what you want, I don't care!'If you go with this feeling, you will carry some weight.

If others think you are a failure, okay, let them think. What big success have they got? People who are successful, look at them, they are not happy at all. They are so miserable. See, not everybody is successful in every field. Some are successful in some aspects. So, never mind, success or failure. You be centered, and be happy.

Each one of you should remain as a center of happiness. You should be radiating happiness, and when anyone comes to you, give them love, compassion, and happiness. Then we can bring a big change in the world.

I always say, you kids who are always participating in competitions, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But if you have done art of living, you don’t lose at all.You know why? It is because either you win, or you make others win.When your dad or mom plays games with you, what do they do? They could win all the time, but do they win all the time? No, they enjoy making you win, isn’t it?So in the same way, either you win or you make others win. If you are more mature, you make others win also.

Gurudev, why is it that only some people get success in life even though everyone is working hard?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

No, don’t think that way. Like I said, two options, either you win or you make others win. Don’t lose your heart. Each one of us on this planet is unique, so don’t compare yourself with others.You don’t know how much capability you have. When it will come to the surface, nobody knows.

Do you know of Swami Prabhupada, the founder of the Hare Krishna movement?He was an ordinary worker in some garment office. He retired at 60 and went into spirituality. He met a Guru and the Guru said, 'Yes, you should go and spread Krishna’s message in the world'.At the age of 75, he travelled in a boat, went to New York and stayed in somebody’s basement and started a movement. Till he was 75, nobody knew who Prabhupada was. At that age, he made the Bhagvatam popular to thousands of people.

So nobody knows when what will come out of you. So don’t underestimate yourself. You are very unique. You come to satsang, and do meditation, that itself says a lot. It will bring such positive vibrations to you, and to the world.

Dear Gurudev, if your heart wants something really bad, but your intelligence comes to a conclusion that it is not possible, which should we trust?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You have said your answer in your very question.Your heart wants something which your head knows is not right. Do you know why? It is because your heart thinks, 'Maybe I will get some pleasure out of it'.A little bit of temptation does that. In those moments, you should follow your head.

Dear Gurudev, my mother and father don’t have peace. How can I help them be friendly.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

This is a very big task my dear.You do one thing, ask them to do The Happiness Program. Individually convince them and I tell you, don’t take it too seriously.Sometimes they are happy fighting. If there is nothing then they will feel very empty. So never mind if they fight now and then.You know, many kids are already keeping their parents together. It is because of the kids that the parents are staying together. It is happening more and more. So just your presence and your being there is putting them in their places. Don’t worry.

Gurudev, what should we do when someone in our class teases us a lot? Should we scold, shout or hit them back? Even though we keep calm, they keep teasing us.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You know, when someone teases you, you should laugh louder than them. Then you will see that they will be baffled. They will say, 'I am making fun of you and you are laughing?'

You should clap and say, 'Yes, you are so funny. Why don’t you tell me nice things like this every day?'

Just say this once and see how they react.

See suppose they make the same comments about someone else, will you laugh or not? So think that they are making fun of someone else and laugh louder than them. Got it?

How do I identify that what I am doing is wrong (adharma)?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

There is something that pricks you, 'Oh no, I should not be doing this'. That is adharma.

We as a student have a role as a son, friend, daughter, etc. Which role should be given most priority?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

Exam time, student. When your parents are in need, a good son or daughter. At different times, you choose.