Sunday, October 30, 2016

I've been slowly, over the last 4 months, decluttering. There are things in my house that had been sitting idle for YEARS and taking up space. I've enjoyed throwing things out, giving things away or burning things. It's a liberating feeling.

I wish I took before and after pictures, but taking photos today made me realize, I've done pretty well so far. Things look uniform and now I really notice when something is out of place.

It's OK to accessorize in your home. Accessories warm a room up and a comfortable room allows for an emotional bond. I love my house. I love it very much. I question the color of the exterior often, but I love my house. Green carpet and all.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Freddie Mercury = amazing.
I lost myself on YouTube last night following Queen link after Queen link and even at 67 years old, Roger Taylor, the drummer, can still rock the drums.
I watched this on repeat for an hour just to watch him on the drums

Thursday, October 27, 2016

I've been reading the book, They who Tarry by R Clayton Brough. It's been sitting on the book shelf for years.

In conversation with my nieces a few nights ago, they asked questions about the church that they sought answers to and for two hours, I answered their questions the best I could and, I know it made a difference.

At 14 years old, they didn't know that obedience was the first law in Heaven despite they'd probably sung it several times via the 3rd AoF.

It's an awesome book and since I started reading it, I've found so many things that I need to change in order to simply be a better, happier person.

In the minds of so many members of the church ignorant to the reality of life in Utah, Utah really is the example of Zion, but that's far from the truth. Enoch made his own Zion and he did such a great job at it that his Zion was removed completely from the Earth and exists in a terrestrial state somewhere close.

Create your Zion where you are.

You don't need to go to Utah. You don't need to go to where things may hypothetically seem better. You don't need to run from problems because they'll just reappear wherever you go if left unaddressed.

If you are not content where you are, you haven't exhausted all efforts to try. If you are content in your own shoes, exactly where you are, then you are already there.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Today we fed ducks our old bread.
Then we went to Breakers for lunch and visited the cemetery, slushy in tow.
Where she sang him a haka and sipped on her iced beverage.
Then climbed a tree and howled like a wolf.
... and that was the end of that.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I should never have let her stay home from school today. Never.
Mum, on the Big Bang Theory they said our ancestors were monkeys.That's what some people think.
If that's true why can't I get up this tree?The lack of opposable thumbs.
Disposable thumbs?Yes.
Sit there I'll take a photo of you! Smile!
Ok, no smile!
Avi got a new car.
Biking to Mummy Mitchy's.
Biking home from Mummy Mitchy's.
Then we had a race.
Mum, it looks like the sky is bleeding.The sun is setting.
What does that mean.As the sun goes down it scatters light. Little small bits in the atmosphere make the light bounce in different directions making all the different colors.
Ohhhh, so the SUN is bleeding.Yes.
Talked her out of attending the A&P show, which is in town this labour weekend. After a few hours of arguing, she settled with $20 worth of play dough crap and a Muffs Bakery mince pie.
I'm so glad she's in bed right now and ecstatic about school tomorrow, even though it's the last day before the long weekend. 6 hours of quiet is worth the 8am wake-up call after a Tylenol PM.

PS: Just when you thought the bond between you and your older brother couldn't get any closer .. he gives you the graphic version of his prostate exam, with an unexpected view of the area prodded.

We shall remember this day for next year and get him a cake.
We will call it ... Violation Day for a good cause.

Monday, October 17, 2016

At a tangi a few weeks ago .. a very big bird whispered something in my brothers ear. Unsettled by the information, he informed us all. It sat with him for a week or two, but it didn't sit well and so he did something about it.

Our other brother fathered a child years ago and that big bird felt it her duty to say something about it in such a casual way that it makes me want to set her weave aflame.

The brother who received the information made contact with her.

The shitty thing is .. people in this cesspool community have known about it for 22 years and for 22 years of her life, she thought we simply didn't care.

We didn't know.

I know you people read this blog and it's stuff like this that reminds me why I don't have time for most of you.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

A winter shoot in Spring.
It only took that one fool to ruin the best photo in the set.
So I had to photoshop like a mofo. You can't tell where because I can't tell where anymore.
Then the rain got us and that was that.

Cleaning my garage today, I found things that I'd been looking for years ago. One was an amethyst necklace I got at a Yokut Indian Res. in San Joaquin Valley years ago. The old Indian man, who pushed the sale, told me it was good for teething and when I told him I didn't have any babies, he told me it would come. I bought the necklace anyway and lost it as soon as we got here. I tried to look for it when Hub's was a bambino, but for the life of me, I couldn't find it.

Found it this morning looking for batteries. It was hiding inside the compartment on the Wii where the disc goes. I can only imagine how it got there, but at least I found it. I don't know how wearing a necklace is going to help anyone's teeth, but Avi has been rocking a necklace since her teething was suspected a few months ago.
The note that was attached to it also said it protected it's owner from drunkenness. So next time my sister is here, I'll hang it round her neck.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

I've been working on a website for the last 4 days. It's been such a headache I was glad to have finished it today.

All the visitors I've had in the last few days have all come at the wrong time. Today was the worst of all 4 days. The Livian's arrived at 8.15am to avoid a visit. They stayed all day. The Farmers came twice before 3pm. The captain of the website came to do a quick draft look through. My mother came twice to ask if I'd finished the website yet because she hadn't seen me in 4 days. I had to go to work at the school and avoid eye contact with the Principal so she didn't make conversation with me. Tyler came home and two of her friends visited and I had to stop and greet and make small talk with them and just as I was about to sit down and eat dinner .. Papa Greg arrived at the same time as the website captain, who came with change orders and minor tweaks before the launch.

Last week no one visited me.

Avi was dropped off yesterday morning and I did all I could to entertain
her and work on the site. Big kudos to all Mums who have to vacuum the house
with a kid on their hip. I only vacuumed because the midwife was coming
at 4 ... and she cancelled at 3.50.
I was happy when Hubba was home from school. I needed the extra set of eyes and even though Hubba irritates Avi - she doesn't like when Hubba picks her up - it was worth listening to the screams from the baby. Avi is going to punch Hubba square in the face one day.
I have no words for this one.
Today my Grandmother turned 87.
She must be the oldest person in the community .. surely.
My brother always says dragons live forever.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Standing behind two Mums tonight in the line at a local super market, I watched as they both unloaded their baskets of groceries. I chose to leave my kid in the car with Shaily because she'd just had a bath and no kid should be walking around after a bath even if all Mum needed was to restock the cupboard that was void of Pepsi Max.

Mum #1 had bread, milk, ham, three packs of cookies, cheese slices, a jar of pickles, a 1 litre Heineken and two kids.

She had $20.
Her shopping came to $25.80.
She put back the bread, ham and cheese.

Mum #2 had bread, milk, the family chicken dinner pack, toilet paper and wanted a pack of cigarettes.

She had $40 and four kids.
Her shopping came to $48-something.
She gave back the chicken dinner pack.

I told Shaily about it in the car. I wasn't judging, I just didn't get it. How did those children manage to keep smiling when their meal was sacrificed for an addiction.

I had $20.
Hub's wanted a chocolate. Shaily wanted a drink. I wanted the sacred Peps and we needed water, eggs and bread. I grabbed 7 boxes of Smarties from the stands for the 6 kids and my 1 kid in the car. I wanted them to keep their smiles.

My cupboard is still void of Pepsi Max.

Grateful today that my addiction to caffeinated beverages is not habit forming enough to give up eggs and GF vanilla milk straws for the crisp fresh taste that is Pepsi Max.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

My dream last night was themed around the second coming. I was here at home with some family members and my two Aunties walked up the porch and through the front door. I asked them where Larry was and they told me not to worry, that he was coming.

With the new dynamic in the family now, which only got worse over the last few days, he was who I needed to see even if it was in my dreams. It seemed real, it felt real and for just a moment it was real for me.

You can't un-care when you've cared 100% for so long. In my attempt to try worry about me and mine, I've depressed myself worrying about how I left the dynamic last week, how it got worse over the weekend and how matters got so deep and ugly that I hold huge regret for something that isn't really mine.

Right now I don't know what to say to anyone in my family anymore, but I wish I could spend a day with my Larry. He'd know how to fix me ... even if it was only for a day.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The bike she got for her 5th birthday sat under the car port for a year because she was too scared to ride it because she was too short to reach the pedals.
Like a boss, she got on it this morning and found herself able to reach the pedals. I let her bike down to Nan's house unassisted and she was up and down Ma's drive way this morning. TAC has walk ways that made her dreams come true and she rode around the campus for the 3 hours we were there this afternoon.
Good times.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Avi-licious.
Avi is easily irritated by Hubba, who wants to smother her all.the.time.
Up to no good.
Losers.
Bebs and Hubs.
Ayla. She cries so much I'm sure there's something wrong with her.
Worst holidays ever for so many reasons.
Considering a family-less Christmas.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Stopped in Taupo yesterday for some shots.
Spent the morning moving Tyler inside and switching Hub's room. Maybe if she's closer to my room, she'll sleep in hers. She can't start sleeping in there until Shaily goes home in a few days.
Kid's have so much crap. I've dumped everything in the shed outside and will go through it when school starts.
I had Avi all day today and appreciated Hubba's absence.
Best way to spend my Saturday after a stink week.
She's just what I needed.