Saturday, April 16, 2011

Last night I had a dream I saw the character Dave Rodowski from Gilmore Girls. I flirted with him then left the crowded classroom we were in.

Then I walked into a cafeteria type place and flirted with Joel McHale, Danni Pudi, and Ken Jeong from Community. It ended with me eating food after I flirted a lot with each of them then realizing they weren't interested in me cause they were all married.

Where is Josh during dreams like this?! I listened to Community as I was sewing yesterday... maybe I watch too much tv. Ugh!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The last few weeks have been full of mundane dreams. I'm at the store... I see a friend... I do something boring. Then about 4 nights ago I started dreaming again...

I start out in a scene that is semi chaotic and moving quickly. I'm saying goodbye to family and walking out the front door of my Dad's house. In my dream it's like I had spent a lot of time with the family and was saying goodbye but for some reason, the dream started when I was leaving and I felt cheated. Josh opens the door to the car for me and I get in. Suddenly, I realize that I am leaving my family and I don't want to go. I tell Josh to pull over and run out and start hugging everyone. I tell him I can't go yet because I haven't hugged and kissed everyone.

I get out of the car and run to the nearest person, Dana. I give her a big hug and a kiss and don't want to go. Then I hug my Dad and aunts. I see my uncle Lee carrying a car seat with a little baby inside and he says it's his baby. The baby is a little boy and he has lots of hair and looks a couple weeks old and is gorgeous. I look down at my other cousins looking on and I see my brother- Cash Monkey! I say hello and he asks me to pick him up and I scoop him up and hug and kiss him. I tell him that I love him and miss him and we sit down on a rocking patio chair. He sits on my lap twists around to put his arms around my neck and rests his head on my chest. I sit there rocking back and forth as he pats my arm and falls asleep. My aunt Dee walks up and says, "He's precious isn't he?" and I say, "Yes... I never want to move." I sit there rocking him until I wake up...

I woke up with blankets wadded up on my chest that felt like the weight of Monkey leaning on me. I felt so sad. I adore my little brother... although we aren't even close in age... there is something about him that seems miraculous. I am a part of a religion that believes that children are innocent and I believe that but it's more than that... I can feel that he is special. He has the brightest smile and radiates love. He is special. I know it. I miss that little Monkey.