Yesterday, Feb 27th, I
participated in my first open act of civil disobedience as part of the
Occupation Project. I along with St. Louis local chapter President Chuc
Smith, three other veterans; Jim Allen, Harry Wyman and VFP office manager
Cherie Eichholz and Military Families Speak Out Member D. Ridgley Brown visited
Representative Russ Carnahan's office to continue our conversation to persuade
him to vote down any bills that continue to provide funding for the war in Iraq.
Jim Allen and I decided to sit-in to protest Carnahan's refusal to pledge not to
continue funding for the war. As a result, Jim and I were arrested.

This was not the first time
Rep. Carnahan a Democrat has been approached on this subject. He has been
visited several times by many members of his district and others who want him to
take a leadership role in Congress to de-fund the war. I have been to his office
more than once and on Friday February 23rd, I along with veterans Woody Powell,
Catie Shinn, Cherie, Chuc, and National Guard member and Appeal for
Redress signer Brian Hill with Iraq Veteran Cloy Richards sat down with Carnahan
and discussed de-funding. Carnahan's basic rap is that he is against the
escalation and believes the war must come to an end. He cannot promise to vote
against a bill he has not seen. He thinks that Jack Murtha's plan to restrict
the ability of the President to continue the war via oversight and placing high
standards on troop readiness before deployment is promising and he does not want
to de-fund the troops. We explained that de-funding the war is not de-funding
the troops; legislative restrictions on the President will not end the war.
Giving money to the President for the war will only prolong the war and Bush has
told us over and over he does not intend to end the war. The American people
voted for new congressional leadership to end the war and de-funding is the
quickest route to make that happen. We also told him that Democrats should put
the President on the defensive by de-funding the war and make him explain why he
continues to wage war when Congress has demanded a change of course based on the
mandate from the American people. We emphasized that everyday Congress spends
looking for less direct ways to end the war on average three
US service members die and many Iraqi children, women and
men.

Unfortunately, we reached
little agreement beyond the obvious, the war must end. It appears that most
Democrats and Veterans For Peace are on a different time table.

Our
entering Rep. Carnahan's office Tuesday is part of weeks of outreach and
meetings to change his mind. I decided that this time I was not leaving until I
received a satisfactory answer. Thus I was willing to risk arrest. There are
many who wonder why risk arrest. They ask, "Do you really think being arrested
will make a difference?" Well, my objective is not to be arrested. My objective
is to persuade my Representative's or Senators' to vote to de-fund the war.
Yes I am willing to risk arrest and I do not know if my refusal to leave and
subsequent arrest will make a difference. However I do know that inaction will
change nothing. Up till now I have done all I can do short of civil
disobedience. I have marched. I have given out materials and made countless
talks and speeches. I have called and written congress. There are other creative
ideas I hope to develop and I will continue to do all of the things I have done
in the past. But yesterday was the time for me to put a little more on the line.
I am not rich, so I cannot get their attention with large campaign
contributions. I am not famous so I cannot awe them with my notoriety. So all I
can do is visit, dialogue and sit-in.

The journey to civil
disobedience has been one of reflection and hesitation. Of course I ask will it
make a difference. One cannot be sure. But for me it has also been a question of
conditioning and survival. I did not come to this decision easily. As a Black
male in America who has been trained to be wary of the
police it has not been easy to decide to willingly put myself into their hands.
I have spent most of my forty-two years trying not to be arrested. I have plenty
of examples of police misconduct against Black men. In the late 90's the sodomy
of Abner Louima and the shooting death of Amadou Diallo in NYC heightened my
fear of being pursued and in the custody of police. In 1997 Abner Louima was
arrested outside of a Brooklyn nightclub for unclear reasons. He was
beaten in the squad car in route to the station, beaten in the station and
eventually sodomized in the station restroom with a plunger. Two years later in
1999, Amadou a Guinean emigrant walking home from a meal, unarmed and innocent
of any crime was gunned down by four police officers in a barrage of shot at 41.
He was struck 19 times. It was a case of mistaken identity. The plain clothes
officers attempted to stop him because they thought he fit the description of a
since captured serial rapist. Another terrifying story took place on November
26, 2006. The circumstances of the incident are still under investigation;
however it is clear that Sean Bell a young man leaving his bachelor party at a
nightclub in JamaicaQueens with two friends died in a
firestorm of 50 shots from five undercover police. One of his friends was
critically wounded. No gun was founded on Sean or his friends. Sean was
scheduled to marry later that day. These three incidents are the extreme and
thankfully rare, but real. The names of these three men stay with me and remind
me of dangers I face.

In the week before my
participation to occupy Russ Carnahan's office I received the January/February
edition of The Crisis magazine, a bi-monthly
periodical founded in 1910. It is the official publication of the National
Association for the Advancement of Colored People, NAACP. An article entitled 'A
New Day?' examines "whether gains in Black political power will improve the
lives of average African Americans." Well that's me so I read the article. While
there are promising facts in the article describing unprecedented political
gains and individual achievements there were other items that gave me pause as
to whether or not I should occupy my reps office.

Statistics show that Black men
were the most incarcerated demographic group in the country, with the highest
incarceration rate in the world. According to a recent Justice Department
report, 12.6 percent of Black males in their 20s were behind bars. Federal
government statistic show that Blacks have an 18.6 percent chance of going to
jail at some point in their lives, while less than 4 percent of Whites will
spend time locked up."

I asked myself, do I really
want to add to these sad numbers.

So what motivates me? Why have
I decided to move forward with this tactic? I am motivated by the death of tens
of thousands perhaps hundreds of thousands of people in this war. I am most
motivated by the life of my only son who is a soldier in the 101st Airborne who
has already participated in one tour in Iraq. I am
motivated by the death of his second child, my 7 month old grandson who died on
January 3, 2007 of a genetic disease. I am motivated by the fact that when I ask
Goddess why my grandson died and when I peer through the pain of his death in
search of reasons and people to blame, I can only find the reality and cycle of
life. People die from disease. It is natural and for the most part not any one
person is to blame. I could look and perhaps find human created environmental
factors. But if these factors do exist they are many steps removed from causing
death. Unlike the firing of a gun or dropping of a bomb where one can easily
observe cause and effect and can witness who fired the gun or dropped the bomb.
Having sat and cried with Iraqi and American Gold Star fathers and mothers and
feeling a glimpse of their pain, I thought I had an idea of that pain. How
foolish of me. I did not know the emptiness one feels. Or I should say there is
an empty space I feel that will never be filled because Jeremiah my grandson who
once lived there is gone for ever. Where I must accept the reality of life, Gold
Star Parents must face the reality of war, a human activity caused by human
actions. Where I can find no one to hold responsible for my anger and pain, an
Iraqi can hold my nation, my son and me responsible for their pain. This is the
sense of urgency I hope my small act of civil disobedience will help convey to
Representative Carnahan and Senator McCaskill.

Lastly I ask myself, if not
now when? After nearly four years of protest, over 3,100 dead US service
members, tens to
hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis who are guilty of nothing but living in
Iraq, obvious lies by our leaders that took us to war, possible war with Iran,
an election for a change in direction, no change of direction by our President
and an indecisive Congress who needs to be pushed in the right direction; when
would be a better time to give civil disobedience a try? We are at a critical
moment. Congress will soon vote for a $90 billion appropriation that could fund
the war until the end of President Bush's term. After this vote, Congress will
have little power to end the war. We need to flood Congress with letters, phone
calls, e-mails and faxes demanding they end funding. We must show up at their
door in force. If enough of us sit-in they will end the war. If we don't they
won't. Maintaining a majority and a gaining the presidency is the priority of
the Democrats. Ours is ending the war. You do not have to commit an act of civil
disobedience to participate in the Occupation Project. Stand on the corner while
others enter the office. Be present when occupiers are taken away or released
from custody. Every small act makes a difference. We need more acts to move them
forward. Add yours.