ICYMI

Most days it’s like nothing much is going on and other days it seems like EVERYTHING is happening all at once.

The President of the United States is in Jacksonville today campaigning for Hillary Clinton.

Just cast my vote for who is likely to be our First Madam President.

I’m a singleton again following the least painful uncoupling I’ve ever experienced.

Then there’s the things I’m anxious about or having trouble dealing with.

A friend and coworker suffered a brain aneurysm October 4. At first it seemed he would recover, at least that was the prognosis for after he made it through surgery. Then, this week we got news that his condition has worsened and it’s likely he’ll pass very soon. He’s a wonderful person, and I’ve cried many nights about him and his family – a family kind enough to invite ‘little orphan Aimee’ to share Thanksgiving and other holidays with them. My heart breaks with every thought of their pain. This is an extraordinary loss.

My Mother’s birthday is at the end of the month. Her first since my Father passed in July. I’m anxious about getting her gift – the right gift. Probably overthinking it, as usual. The best thing I could do is fly up there (it’s basically Canada) and spend time with her. Right now that feels impossible.

A new dog park opened only a few blocks away from my place. I’ve not had the mental energy to take Mac…which I beat myself up for every day I drive past the park. I’m working on getting myself together enough to deal with the inevitable overwhelm of new people. The dogs will help with this, I think. Still, I’d prefer to take another human with me and Mac – as an extra buffer.

I’m still marching through my depression. One step forward, two steps back is the best I can do to describe my progress. I’m alone in the tiny townhouse again, which is new and at the same has a heaviness to it that I didn’t expect. Part of my effort to “just keep swimming” includes taking more pictures…outside of the house, eating as clean as possible, drinking water, getting at least 8 hours of sleep, and checking in with my empathy while dealing with others – especially since social media and the news, in general, has been quite toxic this year.

Stay present in the moment – I’ll wake up one day soon and be able to tackle each ‘scary to me’ thing, it takes time. Things are improving and I am optimistic that with time I will get out in front of this depression.

That’s my ordinary-not-so-ordinary life right now, hope you’re staying warm/safe/happy in whichever ways work best for you. ♡