I took a huge ginormous step this week. On Wednesday I went on a tour of a preschool for my 2 year old son. We have an appointment with another school today. Jack and I are pretty inseparable. We have been since he was conceived. He was literally attached to me the entire first year of his life via nursing. I was unsuccessful at pumping. So I was his only source of milk. I still have to do everything for him. He even insists I feed him his meals. He can feed himself, but he begs “mommy do please.” I have to change his diapers, dress him, bathe him, wash his hands, prepare his meals. He doesn’t like anyone else, even my husband, doing these things. At times, it can be exhausting. Especially since I am a stay at home mom. I have only been teaching early on Saturday mornings. Jack is usually still asleep for most of the time I am gone.

I am ready to branch out and work on my career a bit more. It took me two months to actually go in for the first tour. I contacted them in February. It is tough for me to let go. I know that eventually I have to. Or one day he will legally have to be in school for 8 hours a day and I will be sitting around twirling my thumbs wondering “what now?” I don’t want to be doing that. I am filled with guilt though. I feel so guilty for sending him to school. That is entirely irrational, I know. I am not dumping him somewhere just to get me time. I am sending him to a school with a curriculum and educators. For 5 or less hours 2 times a week. That is 10 hours out of 168 hours in a week. It is really not that much at all.

The tour went really well. Jack was shy whenever we were in the office. The moment we stepped in the classroom he hopped out of my arms. He went off and started playing with toys and other children! He doesn’t even do that at our gymnastics class! We have been going there since summer. He will run off to play with things, but not with the other kids. He barely interacts with the other kids at gymnastics. He does NOT like the teachers touching him at gymnastics. He screams “mommy do” and flips out. He constantly wants me by him. On Wednesday, he didn’t even look for me for several minutes. He was on the other side of the room playing with a little girl. He didn’t want to leave when it was time for us to be on our way. It helped me to feel excited that he will have this opportunity. I still feel awfully guilty, but his excitement proved to me that he does need time with his peers in a classroom setting. We will see how today goes at this other school. They are both located near my work and our soon to be new home. I was referred to the first location through someone I know. The 2nd place is a place my husband found after doing some research.

Gymnastics and swim are so fun. They are much different from the classroom setting though. They are the extracurricular activities. We still have to make our decision on where to send him. We will have to register, get medical paperwork completed, and pick a start date. Nothing is set in stone though. It is looking like he will go to one of the locations. I am not the only one struggling with this ginormous step, my husband is too! We are both picky and a little bit of control freaks with Jack. No wonder the child is pampered and has become “accustomed to a certain lifestyle” 😉

How did you handle the first school enrollment? Did you feel guilty? Excited? Nervous? Any other emotions? How did the transition go? I am not there yet, so I am curious. I know all kids are different.