Celebrity Head-Scratchers

By
Liz Kelly

If you haven't yet visited, I suggest at least a daily sojourn to Emil Steiner's OFF/beat blog for the RDA of screwy news. But celebrity news -- as regular readers well know -- offers a modest supply of oddities, too. Some recent head-scratchers below.

Doncha Wish Your Burqa Was Hot Like Me?

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- Malaysian authorities fined organizers of a concert by the chart-topping Pussycat Dolls for allowing the singers to wear skimpy costumes and for their "sexually suggestive routines," a news report said Wednesday. (Full Story)

This straight-faced Associated Press story dutifully reports the reaction of incensed Malaysian officials following a standard Pussycat Dolls concert. The article gives us only a taste of the absurdity here, though -- a burlesque-inspired girl group performing "sexually suggestive routines" in a predominantly Muslim nation (to a sold out house, by the way). Officials routinely ask Western acts to "tone down" the raunch factor for Malaysian audiences, but if the Dolls were to do this the stage would turn into the gaping vortex of a black hole. (And I don't expect any la-di-da scientific backtalk about how "vortex" doesn't belong in the same sentence with "black hole." It works, okay?)

Remember to Always Think Twice

Conspiracy theories. Michael Jackson has had a few. The latest has the erstwhile King of Pop being led into "involuntary bankruptcy" by a cabal of ex-lawyers. Per the Jackson camp, the alleged plot "could be one of the biggest conspiracies in entertainment history." (Full Story)

This E! scoop details only the latest in an alleged string of plots aimed at Jacko (previous accusations include a purported effort by the record industry to end Jackson's career and a woman named Billie Jean's claim that he was the one, but the kid is not his son).

Saved by the Screech

Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from the TV show "Saved by the Bell," told a Tampa radio station that a woman tried to mug him in his hotel in Omaha, Neb. on Monday. (Full Story, complete with an audio account)

See, this one really requires no snarky comments to ratchet up its inherent humor. But, what the hell -- is it just me who finds it sad that Screech is holing up in a Nebraska hotel with a Sony PSP? (Screech was online last year for three hours, which we appreciate and would never add that to the growing list of pathetic things about this guy.)