5 Ways to Feel Sexually Empowered

To mark International Women’s Day on March 8, I invite you to grab hold of your sexuality (if it suits you to do so). For most, our sexuality is a critical and innate component of our whole selves. We all feel empowered in different ways and by different things, but here are some (mostly) fun ways to harness the power of the pussy, and feel sexually empowered this International Women’s Day.

Get acquainted with some female-focused sex toys

When it comes to consensual sex, there are few things as disempowering as the normalization of “faking it.” It’s time to put that outdated practice to bed and get that orgasm, girl. Whether you’re playing with company or flying solo, there are many products designed with female pleasure as the primary focus. Studies suggest that as few as 7% of women orgasm regularly from purely penetrative sex; most require a combination of stimuli to get there. If this sounds like you, wrap your labia around Eva, a cleverly-designed hands- and harness-free pocket vibrator from Dame Products, a company founded and run by women.

Meet Eva.

It may surprise you to know that approximately 40% of women suffer from female sexual dysfunction, exhibiting a variety of symptoms including diminished vaginal lubrication, discomfort or pain during intercourse, decreased arousal, and difficulty reaching orgasm. Despite the abundance of research dedicated to and treatment options centred around male sexual disorders, there has been little physiological research conducted to address this problem in women.

Enter sensual cannabis oil, courtesy of game-changing brands Bond and Foria. Relatively new to the market, these topical oils act on cannabinoid receptors in the vagina, increasing blood-flow and thus sensitivity in the region, and ultimately helping women to achieve orgasm. The best part is that they specifically focus on women’s sexual health needs. The worst is that they are not readily accessible due to the whole illegality of weed thing.

Queue up some feminist porn

Feminist porn is porn that makes you feel good in all kinds of ways. From women holding the reigns on writing, directing, and production, to the representation of all genders and sexualities, to the inclusion of all bodies, realistic representations of sexual experiences, and genuine female pleasure, feminist porn is seen as a safe way to consume porn. Watching porn that promotes consensual sex and strives for sexual equality and representation is a totally empowering way to safely satisfy those animal instincts. But no judgment if you wanna get loose watching a kinky ménage-a-many. Whatever makes you roar.

Attend a sexuality workshop

None of us are perfect people. We are not perfect in relationships. We don’t know everything about sex and the myriad ways to experience it. Toronto’s Good For Her is a women- and trans-positive store that provides a diverse calendar of workshops featuring doctors and sexuality experts for an impressive array of sexual interests. Ranging from singles to couples-specific, female or male only, queer-interest, scientific to spiritual, basic to kink, these workshops provide a safe and open forum for sexual exploration and education. If you aren’t afraid to get hands-on with demonstrations, Good For Her probably has a workshop that can further evolve your sexuality.

Reclaim and reframe problematic sex-linked words

The international Slut Walk movement of anti-sexual assault protests.

In the same way we each choose the ways we employ our body and our sexuality to feel empowered, we all have the power to choose how we respond to words that might be aimed at us with intent to harm. If someone were to call me a ‘slut,’ I wouldn’t take that as an insult because I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a sexual woman. I take the power back from that word and use it in a sex-positive way, and it makes me feel empowered.

The same can be said for words like ‘pussy’ (a pussy is powerful; not weak, as is implied when used to emasculate someone), ‘cunt’ (again, a powerful word to describe a powerful part of a woman’s sex, and a personal favourite), and ‘bitch’ (my most-hated; often expressed in anger by men towards women and laden with violent misogyny; only ever to be used to describe women you love and never women you don’t like).

Practice some serious self-love

Maybe this means getting together with all of your favourite badass bitches and powering up. (See how I used that dirty word? Take note.) Maybe it means lowkey guilty pleasuring with an all-night binge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Roseanne. You do you, boo. The point is to do something that is just for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it. Be bold and active in your own empowerment! Giving yourself the unique forms of self care that you need is an important component of a sexually empowered and confident you!

This month, carve out some time to bask in the glory and power of your fellow moon goddesses, finding time to get together and celebrate how blessed we are to be among strong women. Happy International Women’s Day, babes!

“We call that fire of the black thundercloud ‘electricity,’ and lecture learnedly about it, and grind the like of it out of glass and silk: but what is it? What made it? Whence comes it? Whither goes it?” - Thomas Carlyle