I want to make it quite clear before we begin that I'm not a regular viewer of Richard and Judy. I'm not even an occasional viewer...but I would like to know why Richard Madeley isn't aging while Judy seems to be aging fast, like a dog; she's aging at least seven years per human year, possibly more.

On the left below we have Richard involved in a very very important phone-in indeed during the first year of the 'This Morning' show in 1988 - and on the right, Richard just a few hours ago - looking exactly the same!!!

Somewhere in a room with a hefty lock on the door in their house, is there a portrait of Richard bearing an expression as grotesque and haggard as Judy's, as each and every one of Richard's sins ages the piece further.

Or can it be that Richard's Faustian pact was actually bartered with Judy's countenance, not some hidden portrait, to bare the brunt of Richard's shame?

See here below again, look: On the left is Judy, again during the first year of This Morning and on the right, how she looks as we speak. After Richard's shoplifting episode, his Ali G impression and generally just being an annoying cunt - the accumulative shame of it all - she's turned into a fucking monster. It all makes perfect sense.