(Walk-up music, if you're not a baseball fan or something, is the music played in the stadium in the time that it takes the player to walk up to the plate - ergo, "walk-up music." For pitchers, it's usually the music that plays when they're warming up. But more than simply that, it is a window into the soul of the player, and should be regarded as such.)

THE RESPECTABLE

Barry Zito -- "Doo Rags" (Nas) - Barry may have his ups and downs as a pitcher, but this is a rock-solid pick. Nas is the Vida Blue of rappers.Pablo Sandoval -- (1) "The Motto" (Drake) (2) "Wild Boy" (MGK) (3) "N**** In Paris" (Jay -Z & Kanye West) (4) "Dance" (Big Sean) - Jesus Christ, I don't have time to fish for links for 4 different fucking walkup songs, but if you don't like N's in Paris, there is something wrong with you. Plus, the video comes with an epilepsy warning! How fucking badass is that!

Ryan Theriot -- (1)"Push It" (Salt-N-Pepa)(2) "I Wanna Rock" (Luther Campbell) - Hahahaha, I love that Ryan Theriot has "Push It" as one of his walkup songs. There's something so goofy and Dance Party 1986 about that. This just makes me instinctively like Ryan Theriot. As for #2, I can't imagine a stadium in the country where you could play a Luther Campbell song and get away with it, but more power to you if you can slip "Pop that pussy let me see you doo doo brown" by the stadium general manager.

Tim Lincecum --"Loud” (Mac Miller) - "I experiment with drugs but I won’t ever fuck with yay/I just made a million dollars still I think I’m underpaid."

Madison Bumgarner -- "Bad Company" (Five Finger Death Punch) - Yes, it's a cover of the Bad Company song by Bad Company. Plus a video featuring FFDP visiting The Troops, so you know they are Real Americans and they kick some fucking ass and whatnot.

JACKED-UP PICKUP TRUCK COUNTRY-ROCK

Matt Cain -- "Whistlin' Dixie" (Randy Houser) - This is this generation's Hank Williams Jr. You know, that Southern Bad Boy stuff. I have to admit, though, it's much better than Hank Williams Jr. Of course, drinking bleach is much better than Hank Williams Jr. Anyway, if you dip, hunt deer, know how to field-strip a .30-.30, and own some non-ironic trucker caps, you'll probably like this. Video featuring shotguns, children wearing camouflage clothing, lissome young woman in a trailer, and black people.

Ryan Vogelsong -- "Metalingus" (Alter Bridge) - Alter Bridge has a bunch of ex-Creed members in it. Enough said. And that title? WTF? Is that what happens when a Transformer goes down on you?

Jeremy Affeldt -- "Fireproof" (Pillar) - Oh boy, a Christian rock Linkin Park. Just what the world thought it needed. I like that on the CSN Bay Area site, they spelled it "Pilar," implying that it's a Spanish folk artist and not a bad nu-metal band. That would have been awesome, actually.

The fact that they're allowed to have FOUR!! different songs just gave me another reason to hate baseball. This isn't "Sister Wives." They should be required to pick ONE song and stick with it even if they start to hate it.

I kinda consider you a mascot for all things SF, so I thought you might listen to KFOG. Long story short: they fired their morning show which had been on the air for like 20 years and replaced it with some former shock jock from Dallas or some other shitty place. People are pissed.

About Me

TK lives and works in San Francisco. He occasionally travels to places east of the Caldecott Tunnel, but not very often. His interests include bars, reality TV, and irony. Things seem to be going fine.