Although for once, inexplicably, I couldn’t stands its No more! Which was probably due to another miserable winter we’re having here in the Pacific Northwest!

Hence, I turned Thy Telie’ on for Background noise whilst making myself a Ham Sandwich for luch; Hya! But why were they only on Lap-26 at 12:33PM, an hour after the green flag had supposedly been waved?

Since the last DayToner’ 500 I can recall watching was when ‘Ol Monty, who was also given the moniker of Mac Montoya upon switching allegiances over from Formula 1 to Roundy-rounds RASSCAR’ Wayback at the end of ‘06, in deference to eatin’ at some Golden Arches franchise…

As unbelievably Juan Pablo Montoya H-I-T the Jet-blower drying the track during the 2012 event; Aye Karumba! As what’s that song ’bout Great Balls ‘O fire?

Then again, it was Queen Danica’s final NASCAR Stock Car race, since she’s still got one race remaining in her esteemed “Danica Double.” Yuhs know when Danica Patrick takes the green flag for the Indianapolis 500 on Memorial Day weekend; Chirp-Chirp, Crickets?

Yet besides the inclement weather, which was just Rain at that point here in Seattle… I suppose I was somewhat curious, since the media was doing a good job of gettin’ us all ah-lather over the new “Brat Pack,” which will hopefully deliver the TAxicabland Bombers into the future.

And whilst it would be like “Shooting Fish in a Barrel,” regarding NASCAR’s plummeting TV Ratings numbers, with this year’s just completed Daytona 500’s dropping a massive 23%. for comparison, this year’s just concluded Winter Olympics dropped 17%.

And while I know of one fellow IndyCar Blogger who continually beats thou Drum of how it’s television ratings are on the Rise; Tuh-Duh!

It’s pretty Sad commentary since, that’s the only way they had to G-O from there, having floundered in the 0.2-03% Nielsen ratings category previously. Meaning if they dropped any further, the series would be Dead.

Nope instead, and hang on Sports Fans, specifically Y’all Stick ‘N Ball devotees, this rants supposed to be ’bout the Drivers, for which I have to give some extremely small Kudos to NASCAR, since after its 14 years Diversity programme netted a whopping 10% Diversity.

As this year’s DayToner’ 500 featured a woman, a Mexican, a driver of Cuban descent and one African American. With Dan-Dan-Danica, Daniel Suarez, Aric Almirola and Darrell Wallace, Jr. respectively claiming four of the race’s 40 starting positions.

Yet ironically Almirola takes over the seat Danica previously held at Stewart Haas Racing this year Fulltime. While Suarez, who’s just beginning his second Cup season, has already scored nearly twice as many Top-10 finishes (12) in one season vs. Danica’s entire six-plus year career. (7)

But as one door seemingly closes upon motor racing, i.e.; the loss of Danica Patrick and female drivers in general. Since motor racing is one of the few sports today which isn’t gender biased, i.e.; separate Men’s and Women’s categories, albeit Thars one backwards looking European organization trying to wreck that…

Yet, the timing seems Apropos, instead I find Darrell “Bubbah” Wallace, Jr’s Swagger and Persona immensely refreshing, especially since he’s all of 24yrs old, and now seemingly has the entire nation’s Spotlight upon him. Whale’ at least the Nascar Nation’s since he drives for none other than “the King!” Formally known as Richard Petty, Stock Car’s most successful ever Driver! who by the way, has won the most Daytona 500’s with a record seven victories.

And whilst I’ve known casually of Bubbah Wallace since his breaking into NASCAR’s Craftsman; Err Camping World PickemUps’ Trucks series. Not to mention Lewis Hamilton, who’s been decimating the Formula 1 world the past four years. Who as the reigning F1 world Champion is seeking to join only two other drivers in the Sports History as Five-times World Champions this year.

Instead, it’s another driver I knew the mane of, but not his ethnicity who I’m more impressed with. As his name is Jann Mardenborough, who went from the unlikely avenue of “Gamer” to race winning driver, who’s currently carving out his niche in International Sports Car racing.

Whilst it would be super easy to make some Wisecrack about a Nut in the White House who just celebrated his favourite month of the year. Not to mention having to endure watching a Black Man nearly win his beloved racing series premiere event!

Nope instead, I’ll point Y’all towards another unheralded African American racer, who’s a multi-time champion himself, and who I recently listened to in a great interview.

While Oh Yeah, That Great American Race? NOT really so great if Yuhs ask me. Besides the three hours ‘O Commercial breaks… Thars just somme-thun’ fundamentally wrong with simply Nurfing your fellow competitor outta duh way to Win Duh Race!

As I know one of NASCAR’s time honoured slogans is “Racin’s Rubbin’, but SHIT! There’s just NO Sport in Crashing somebody purposely into the Wall at nearly 200mph in order to be victorious… As Y’all cannot get away with that on the Freeway, Righto?

and lastly, it’s pretty funny how all of the speculation leading up to the race is how the two Americun’ Auto Manufacturers were chasin’ that pesky foreign jobber’, i.e.; Toyota, since guess who won the race?

Instead I just watched; Err listened to the first 10mins of the Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl XIV, which I think we all can figure out equals 14, Righto? Since just couldn’t discern how much of that Puppy Luv I could handle; Hya!

Although I’ll admit it was a Wee bit tough not checking thou score via my telephone hotline, but I simply didn’t want to know, especially since those Dastardly Patriots were Thar once again; BARF!

A few weeks before, or may be it was the week before? I swear I heard the comment via The Seattle Times that Doug Pederson, Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles was the first coach from Washington to go to the Super Bowl.

Which naturally, now afterwards, having spent at least an hour’s time searching Al Gore’s wondrous invention, thee Internetz’; Hooah! Naturally I cannot find the story or the quote, but bizarrely I found that a story which makes NO sense seems to typically come up first when I query is Doug Pederson from Washington?

But it’s pretty funny to Mwah, as I’ve just learned probably more ’bout the Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson than I was planning to; cymbol Crash please!

As he was indeed born in Bellingham, Washington, and just gave himself, family ‘N friends his bestest Birthday present ever! As he reportedly just became the B-I-G’ 5-OH! January 31st.

Doug Pederson played QB for Ferndale High School for three seasons, beginning in his Sophomore year, and reportedly compiled a 24-6 record while at the controls of the Golden eagles.

Then he played Quarterback for Louisiana-Monroe in College before becoming a Backup QB to such luminaries as Brett “Polaroid” Favre and Dan Marino. Even winning a ring as Favre’s Clipboard holder in Super Bowl XXXI in ‘97! Ironically, when the Green Bay Packers defeated the New England Patriots.

Although No idea if Tom Brady was the Pat’s starting QB Wayback then? Hya!

Then, as I sat listening to another countless CD Audiobook, the sounds ‘O multiple Conchs shells Ah-blowin’; Err, a cacophony of BOOM-BOOM Fireworks erupted outside around 7:22PM Pacific, for which I knew meant Duh Game was over! Now all I needed to do was find out if the right team had won?

And instead of simply checking my telephone Hotline’s NFL Scores section, I called a good friend in Oregon, for which I even overlook some of their feverish Oregon Ducks obsession! along with their allegiance to the 40WHINERZ! (San Francisco 49ers)

As I was thoroughly delighted to hear that, what All of the nation already knew. That the right team had won!

As my friend Jeannie extolled, if I could have only seen the look upon ‘lil Terrible Tommy’s face! After Brady had fumbled, ultimately losing the game!

Having since learned that the Philadelphia Eagles winning score was actually a lot closer then it sounded when I heard 41-33. As Philly’s Nick Foles reportedly scored the go-ahead TD with just 2:21 remaining!

As there’s so many good things ’bout the Eagles victory, including “Breaking their Duck!” Of having gone winless in their previous Super Bowl appearances, and finally winning their first Lombardi trophy since 1960!

Whilst those adorable puppy dogs of Team Ruff ‘n Fluff were once again playing for the LamBarkie trophy instead; Wuf-wuf!

While it’s also great that Nick Foles, who was the team’s Backup QB until Carson Wentz went down with a torn ACL (and LCL) in Week 14 of the regular season, not only won in his first Super Bowl start, but was also named the game’s MVP.

As much has been made of Philadelphia’s attention to detail, including Foles catching his one pass, which was for a touchdown No less! While Tom Brady was Butterfingers!

And lastly, as I was unawares’, but thanks to “Mr. Sporty,” for which I randomly dribble out these Sportyblog posts for Y’all. I had NO idea that Foles went to U of A, formally known as University of Arizona, and was a Wildcat’s QB for three years: 2009-11, after having transferred from Michigan.

Then ironically being taken in the 2012 NFL Draft’s third round by the Eagles, before returning for his second stint in Philly last year…

]]>http://www.sportyblog.com/index.php/2018/02/15/a-true-pacific-northwest-madman/feed/TwitterDumb: Two Politicians enter the Arena of Twisted Tweets. None Walk Out the Wiser…http://www.sportyblog.com/index.php/2018/02/15/twitterdumb-two-politicians-enter-the-arena-of-twisted-tweets-none-walk-out-the-wiser/
http://www.sportyblog.com/index.php/2018/02/15/twitterdumb-two-politicians-enter-the-arena-of-twisted-tweets-none-walk-out-the-wiser/#commentsThu, 15 Feb 2018 17:47:16 +0000adminhttp://www.sportyblog.com/index.php/2018/02/15/twitterdumb-two-politicians-enter-the-arena-of-twisted-tweets-none-walk-out-the-wiser/Yeah, that’s kind of like one of those Two Men Walk Into a Bar Jokes… Except this time it AIN’T Funny! Albeit I’m not surprised by thee leading Buffoon merrily tweeting away his visceral nothingness! whilst the other’s a No-Name wanna-be Representative from Indiana…

Presumably, by now Y’all have heard of the tragedy befalling the Indianapolis Colts Linebacker Edwin “Pound Cake” Jackson, whom along with his Uber driver Jeffrey Monroe were both killed by a Drunk Driver the night of Super Bowl LII, or 52 for All of us Roman numerically challenged…

While the tragedy in Indianapolis is horrible, I found Indianapolis Star columnist Gregg Doyel’s article upon the tragedy of the two men very refreshing, as Doyel correctly points out that Jackson was a person, who at age 26 is GONE! And isn’t a Tool for somebody’s Political Madness!

As how long will we have to hear this ceaseless rhetoric? Like seriously Donald, who’s gonna clean all of your Hotel’s bathrooms and make their beds? Keep your Golf Greens tidy and wash your Dishes…

And how come NOT one iota’s been mentioned about the unheralded Uber driver Jeffrey Monroe? Or as Doyel correctly points out, All of the other unnamed people killed by Drunk Drivers every day!

And although I’m not exactly a fan of the Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay’s, for once I have to applaud him, and the Colts organization for standing behind one of its players, and doing the Right Thing… Especially for somebody struck Down in the Prime of their life. along with his hapless Chauffer who also have miles to go…

Ah, another season ‘O Americres’ Game’s Dusted ‘N Done; Yeehaw! As I found the following weather story relating to Pigskin’s Coldest Game ever, well timed for playing in “Mini Ha-Ha!” Err Minn-Uh-Sote-ah, Yah Sure Yuhs Betcha!

Yuhs know, in a different era, presumably before the advent ‘O Salary Cap’s et al. When Football players were just real honest-to-goodness Football players who didn’t give a Rat’s Patooey ’bout Thar Twitter Account Blowing U-P! Or what their social media was doing…

As I’m not really sure what’s worse? How NBC devoted a total of 9.25hrs Sunday televising Super Bowl LII, Or that “Detroit’s Big-3,” aka General Motors, Ford and Chrysler, Uhm Fiat-Chrysler NV all deferred from running any advertisements during the game, for which reputedly a 30-second commercial spot cost a cool $5m, as in million this year!

whilst Fiat Chrysler once again ran another controversial advertisement extolling thou virtues of its Dodge Ram “tough” pickup trucks, this time having the late Dr. Martin Luther King being the Pitchman…

Yeah, Y’all knew that was Uh-coming’, Righto? As the 2017-18 NFL season will forever be indelibly linked with Colin Kaepernick and thou wrath of some Stumblin’, Bumblin’ and definitely Fumblin’ White Man whose favourite form of social interaction is TWIT-ER!

As just think, Thars’ five hours ‘O Pre-game Hyperbole to bluster ’bout. Then four hours to play duh game, including some sappy Halftime entertainment, where rumour has it Justin Timberlake will have a Wardrobe Malfunction; Hut-Hut! And lastly, and I Don’t get it, but a whopping 15mins post-game wrap-up show…

While surely Roger The Mighty Good Ship; Err Goodell will be doing his usual soft shoe toe tappin’ back-pedaling Tap Dance… Especially now since he’s gotten his final-final contract extension signed, and instead can focus upon the issues of the game and it’s players instead…

Sheez! And I haven’t even spoken ’bout the game, Y’all know Puppy Bowl XIV, Wuf-Wuf! As this year’s Puppy Bowl, in the brand new bone Shaped Arena, once again featured Team Ruff vs. Team Fluff! Along with rescued Barn Animals as the Cheerleaders, including fluffy, adorable Bunny Wabbits!

Not to mention the return of the Puppy Bowl Blimp after a three year hiatus, being piloted by high flyin’ Hamsters! And a Cockatoo named Herman Tweeting the entire game; Botta-Boom, Botta-Bing!

Along with Americre’ the Beautiful being performed by a piano playin’ Chicken named Jokgu’ from America’s Got Talent; Cock-a-Doolittle-Do! As the lead announcer proclaimed while the NFL’s Tuh-Duh-duh intro theme musak played: Ready, Set, Drool!

Author’s Note
This story was originally intended to be published on Sportyblog the week prior to the most excruciating Super Bowl 49, which the entire universe still knows about the DUMBEST play ever! Which the fervent 12S’ still mash their teeth over two Super Bowl’s later, or is it three? Crickets…

Yet Due to Sportyblog’s server being Decommissioned Wayback in early 2015, the story wasn’t published, and has been bobbing round thou Seas ‘O Sportyblog Stories in Uh Bottle in thou Pacific Ocean ever since…

Hawaii-bound…
Thanxs to the good fortune of Santa, once again your Senior Sportyblog Scribe “Touchdown Tommy” has just returned from the Big Island, nee Hawaii, unfortunately to an overly soggy Pacific Northwest.

Courtesy of what the weather pundits call the “Pineapple Express!” Ironically after basking in the glorious hues of Hawaiian Sand, Surf and Sun live in Kona! (Which is probably getting a ‘Wee bit repetitive for Y’all, since didn’t Santa give him that last year?)

As all of this B-I-G’ Island conjecture naturally made me think about Yuhs guessed it, professional athletes hailing from the Rainbow state. To which even if he plays for the “enemy;” Hya! Hey us (University of Washington) DAWGS’ only enjoy shredding up “Rubber Duckies,” not being demolished by Oregon year-after-year instead!

although the past two years have been overly enjoyable with the DAWGS’ resurgence, along with kicking the once mighty Oregon Ducks tail feathers!

Yet I did indeed hope Oregon would be successful in becoming the national champions! Even going so far as to listen via my ‘lil transistor radio to that Oh So Enjoyable 59-20 Smack-down over Florida State at the Rose Bowl!

But alas, unfortunately, Y’all know that Mariota & The Ducks got roasted by the Ohio State Buckeyes 42-20 in the first ever National Championship playoff game

Obviously a Gynormous part of Oregon’s success was due to their excellent QB Marcus Mariota, who hails from Honolulu, Hawaii; SHUHZAMM! Nice connection, eh?

As Oregon was the first Division I school to spot the burgeoning talents of Mariota, when the two star High School athlete Marcus participated in an Oregon Football Camp in 2010, where he was first spotted by the team’s then Offensive Coordinator Mark Helfrich, who subsequently went to Hawaii to further evaluate this college prospect, which led to then Oregon coach Chip Kelly offering Mariota a scholarship prior to playing a single High School varsity game! As now, apparently Mariota’s only flaw is having been critiqued for potentially being too nice?

While Y’all know how Marcus cleaned house in the Awards department a few winter’s ago, when he was the runaway winner of the vaunted Heisman trophy! Along with three other prestigious collegiate awards.

Thus surely Mariota would be NFL bound that April in 2015 when the draft was held Righto? Although as usual, I ARSE-Sumed incorrectly that Tampa Bay would take him first ahead of “MY” lowly Titans, who pick second. As perhaps Jameis Winston would don the Titans “2-tone” blue for the 2015 NFL regular season?

False Start TD Tommy!

And obviously, once again I had visions ‘O Hawaii already on my mind, just prior to “Turkey-Lurkey” Day, (Thanksgiving, 2014) since whilst listening to the Seattle Sounders FC v LA Galaxy MLS Western Conference Finals first leg match in La-La Land, before they became MLS Champions!

I heard ex-Sounders FC Goalkeeper Kasey Keller mention how “The Hawaiian” had gotten away with his “third-third final warning” for receiving his second yellow card of the match after his brute force defending, especially vs. Galaxy Striker Robby Keene, who was named Major League Soccer’s MVP that season, long ago.

Huh? Didn’t know we had a Hawaiian on our “Rave Green” roster, which led me to promptly search Zed Internetz, which revealed a possible 14 candidates including Messer Zach Scott. (Who’s since retired)

As even funnier yet; isn’t it ironic? The name Brian Ching made the list of Hawaiian soccer players, as I know of the local talent from Gonzaga University. Especially since he was the scourge of the Sounders FC crushing 2009 MLS Playoffs loss vs. the Houston Dynamo!

As it’s a ‘Wee bit foggy now, but I still remember vividly being “Gutted” after Ching’s lone series goal sent Houston through to the next round after both teams had gone scoreless in 180-minutes! As I recall Ching’s dagger being scored in the 186th minute, but then again that was some five-plus years ago - when I began writing this…

And lastly, Y’all can check out my slightly dated Sportyblog yarn, which keeps drifting further away time wise - upon the Hawaiian Islands claim to fame in professional sports in;

As apologies to Max Unger! Who When I began this way-way-Wayback ago, was featured prominently in the Lilliputian local “Fish-wrap,” the West Hawaii Today newspaper. As I’d totally overlooked our then Seattle Seahawks All-Pro center who hails from Kailua-Kona,, Hawaii; OOPS!

As Unger, who then was 28, was one of three remaining Seahawks holdovers from the pre “Mr. Excitement” (Pete Carroll) era before being shipped to Nawlins’ for some Tight End named Jimmy Graham, whom after his just completed third season with the Hawks is a Free Agent, and Scuttlebutt suggests he’ll be moving on…

Whilst I think Unger’s going to the playoffs shortly, snapping the ball to some Saints Dude they call The Breeze!

And then there’s this Hooska-Dooska’ Kicker named Steven Hauschka, who’s going to the Pro Bowl as an Alternate? Uhm, Hang On, Buffalo’s in the Playoffs and Seattle’s still trying to get past it’s Blair Walsh Project Hangover!

Not to mention how now the Seattle Mariners have become the Professional Sports Franchise with currently the longest streak of not making the Playoffs - at 16 years…

Yet Seattle’s already at it again; SHIT! Now they’re angling to get rid of punter John Ryan ’cause he’s too “Expensive;” WTF! Like didn’t we just see that movie with Mr. It’s Wide Right Blair Walsh?

And ironically, I believe that Ryan’s the lone remaining Seahawk to have been on the roster before Pete Carroll came to town.

Hang 10 and Better Luck next year Hawks’

Catching a Wave, or more likely Air! I once again Piquadellied’ this languishing story last spring, when I somehow’ Accidently heard that the NFL had released the 2017-18 Regular season and Gasp; Playoffs schedule? Since I’d typed 2017-18 here, before wiping out on another wave; Hya!

As apparently this happened Wayback on April 20th and for humour, I decided to check out my local club’s schedule, which if Y’all haven’t figured out by now, is the Tennessee Titans; but I digress…

As El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy is such a fervent Pigskin fan, that I was absolutely Stunned to discover that Marcus Mariota had broken his leg during last year’s (2016) regular season; Huh?

And I didn’t pay any Attenzione to Thy Titans ’til some Week 3 game, Y’all know when Seattle traveled to Nashville and lost 33-27 to Tennessee!

Then going long, with Marcus airing it out for TD Tommy; OOPS, Butterfingers; Hya! Amazingly the Titans made the NFL Playoffs for the first time since ‘08 when Mariota led Tennessee to a 15-10 W’ over Jacksonville, and will play the Kansas City Chiefs next.

As how strange, that NOBODY’s said Congrats to Mwah! As Mr. Sporty’s Hawks already cleaned out their lockers. And Ditto for Sportyblog’s Artiste Dave’s Cardinals. Chirp-Chirp; Bueller?

While isn’t It Ironic that Mariota took the No. 8 Jersey, which was previously worn by the Titans QB he ultimately replaced, the since retired Jake Locker, who played for the University of Washington Huskies…