First lady Melania Trump is looking for any way to escape her husband, his joke of a presidency and her life as a bird in the gilded cage that is the White House. She’s so over this life that even her internal organs are like, “OK, bitch, if you not leaving, EYE WILL.” Her kidney staged a coup recently.

OK, so that’s not what really happened. What really happened is that Melania Trump had surgery Monday morning for a “benign kidney condition,” according to a White House statement.

USA Today reports that the embolization procedure Trump underwent Monday at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center “was successful and there were no complications.” Trump, 48, will remain in the hospital for the rest of the week as she recovers (and plots a more permanent escape from this ridiculous sugar daddy-sugar baby situation she has gotten herself into).

Stephanie Grisham, the first lady’s communications director, said in a statement, “The first lady looks forward to a full recovery so she can continue her work on behalf of children everywhere.”

Trump’s last public appearance was Thursday at Joint Base Andrews in Maryland, when she and the president greeted the three Americans who were recently released from prison in North Korea.

Advertisement

Last week, Melania Trump announced her Be Best campaign, which is an effort to once again bite off of Michelle Obama improve the well-being of children.

During a May 7 speech in the White House Rose Garden, she said: “There is one goal: to educate children about the many issues they are facing today. If we truly listen to what our kids have to say, whether it’s their concerns or ideas, adults can provide them the support and tools they need to grow up and be happy productive adults.”