So…I have this friend that is potentially in a lot of trouble. He was involved with a drug deal which involved $2,400 worth of crack.

He didn’t actually purchase the crack, which is where I’m not sure how it is perceived by the law.

What happened was that he sent one of his employees out to by the crack for him. Yeah, it was a bad thing to do…but trust me, this was out of character for him. It doesn’t make it right, but it was a mistake that could potentially cause him more trouble than he deserves. He needed crack but didn’t live in a part of town where there were many drug dealers and none that sold crack, so he arranged for some of his employees to go to a playground to meet up with a crack dealer from another part of town and make the purchase for him.

I’m not a lawyer, but my guess is that he would be guilty of trafficking without the intent to sell?

Assuming this was his first offense, he would need to serve not less than 5 yrs, and not more than 40 yrs plus a fine of not more than $2 million. Could this be right? It sounds pretty extreme.

If you send your employee out to buy crack for you, do you automatically go to jail for five years…at the least?

If I’m right, my friend is in big trouble. If you really think you can help, let me give you more specifics.

So my friend is preparing for this big televised speech. He’s addressing the nation from the Oval Office…because he’s sort of the president and all, not the current one of course…this was a while ago. There’s a whole lot of pressure because the former president (and Mrs. Reagan) made a huge deal about drugs, so here Bush is having to carry on that legacy. He had this really great speech written for him that includes a large ziploc prop-bag marked “EVIDENCE” with crack inside. He’s supposed to hold it up and say “This is crack cocaine seized a few days ago by Drug Enforcement agents in a park across the street fro the White House. It’s as innocent looking as candy, but it’s murdering our children.” It’s a good line, right? The problem is that when he sent his DEA agents to get the prop, they found little drug dealing of any kind and no cocaine. Instead of seizing drugs, they contacted a crack dealer from another part of town, arranged to meet with him in the park, bought the crack for $2,400, and then let him walk away after the deal was done. Having successfully purchased crack for the president, they returned to the White House.

Hold up…I was just told that since he was the President, none of this is actually illegal.

Hypothetically speaking, then. If he wasn’t the president, how many laws would he have been breaking?