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I have been known to have people say to me that I have the gift of gab. So much so that I was cleaning out things in my attic last week (the clutter we have accumulated has been driving me nuts) and I ran across a box that has been stored for 6 years and never gone through. I opened it and came across my baby book. My mother passed away from cancer when I was 16 and now that our daughter is expecting her first child (our first grandchild) in September, I took it out to reminiscence.

My eyes immediately started to swell with tears as I saw my mother’s handwriting. As I thumbed through the pages for each year it became obvious to me that I have always been and always will be a talker with mad social skills! Page after page, toddler to preschooler, kindergarten to third grader, I was a social butterfly. My mom wrote on each of those years her observations about my gift of gab and she even wrote my teachers comments. Some good, some not so good.

Ever since I can remember my mouth has gotten me into trouble. God has taught me to live in the fruits of my spirit. When it involves talking, I still struggle to always speak in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and to have self-control while doing it. I have come a long way and there are very rare occasions when I truly struggle with it. Usually it happens when I am witness to someone being mean and hateful to someone else. This is usually when it got me in trouble as a kid too. I always want to jump in, defend, point out the behavior, and right the wrong. In my heart, I have good intentions but God has taught me there is a better way to do it.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:8, the Apostle Paul tells the church that “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not only the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear to us,”

Paul was a preachy person, before he was converted he yelled screamed, lashed out in anger, spoke down to people, even committed murder. But when God took hold of his life he was changed. His mindset was different. From this passage we know that God changed Paul’s heart and he not only preached the good news but he lived it out. He knew for him to be effective for reaching the lost and growing believers in their faith he had to follow Jesus’ example and model true piety in his own life. Did he still get mad and frustrated? Yes! Just read any of the Epistle texts and you can find evidence. But the difference was he shared himself with the people, he shared his very soul, and he did so walking in the fruits of his spirit.

On our Via de Cristo weekends we have a saying that I model my evangelism by, “make a friend, be a friend, and bring your friend to Christ”. It is the way I feel that Jesus did it, Paul did it, and I do it. I love people. God has given me that gift. I love to talk. God has given me that gift as well. And God reminds me all the time to always speak the truth whether others will like what I have to say, but to always do it in love. Reading Paul’s letters has taught me its OK to get mad and frustrated, it is OK for me to have feelings of anger, after all I am human. But the lessons God has taught me remind me to put that passion to work for the glory of Him and Him alone.

It’s February (of course) the month in which women get a larger-than-normal dose of attention from our male counter parts. The time of year when love, is emphasized and romance encouraged. Yet while many of us will say love is physical, or that love is a thing shown (in part) via monetary value wrapped with bright shiny paper; I maintain that it has many forms. MOST of which, have no physical bearing at all. But is shown best through actions of help, encouragement, sympathy, empathy, and a shared joy for one another’s mile stones and achievements.

For instance, at a time when I had a large amount of stress due to my oldest child ending up in the hospital, my spirits were hugely lifted through some friends and family of mine. I felt an enormous amount of love and joy when everyone I knew offered me assistance in various ways and assured me that time spent in the hospital would not be held against me and that I could make up any work missed. Exceptions were made, and it was a wonderful thing. My son rested and through many prayers and the good hospital staff, he got better. (I did not, mind you, taken advantage of this kindness, which indeed, often makes a difference in circumstances.)

Therefore, I say friendship can be one of the best and most overlooked form of love out there. My friends are a much needed refreshment in a world that gives nothing but dry arid desserts for cities of sanctuary. The politics and ‘first-come-first-serve’ attitude of cold corporate society is draining on a soul. Which is why God in His infinite wisdom, gave His followers a special kind of support. A fellowship of heart and soul. A family bonded by like-hearted spirits, colorful lights in sometimes cruel, dark place. We become beacons of safety, harboring each other in life’s stormy moment. And often, a quiet ear is a necessary soft place to land and express the frustrations of the days (or weeks) events.

So ladies, while our husbands are an integral part of our lives, please make time, and don’t forget. You have sisters in Christ. Wise women who can help you in truth and loving kindness’s. They offer new perspectives and common experiences that bond. We are simultaneously fuel for our inner fire and nearly empty tanks. Built to both encourage and be encouraged.

Like this:

“And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him (Jesus) to the test, saying ‘Teacher what shall I do to inherit eternal life?’ He said to him, ‘What is written in the Law? How do you read it?’ And he answered, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.’ And he said to him, ‘You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” Luke 10:25-28

I know we already had a whole month on the topic of love (February), but I still felt that love should be the first virtue I chose to discuss as one of the fruits of the spirit. Why? Well, it does come first in the list in Galatians; and in the verses above Jesus affirms that love is the overriding principle in the Law. In the 13th Chapter of 1 Corinthians, the apostle, Paul, tells us that love is the greatest spiritual gift, and without it all our good deeds are meaningless. And in the third chapter of Colossians we find another listing of Christian virtues after which Paul tells us:

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14

So it seems pretty obvious. If we truly love, the other qualities will fall naturally into place. When we genuinely love someone we are joyful and we can live peacefully with them. Patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness characterize loving relationships. Love leads us to control the impulses that cause hurt and misunderstanding.

So if you want to cultivate the fruit of the spirit love first. Err on the side of love. Let love inform your actions.

Maybe if you’re my age you remember a film called Love Story. It popularized the phrase, love means you never have to say you’re sorry. It sounds good, I guess. Romantic somehow. I think it’s meant to convey the idea that if we love someone enough, if we understand them completely, we won’t need an apology to feel their remorse. Unfortunately it’s not true. Most of us know from personal experience that failure to apologize for hurting someone leads to further hurt and maybe even a relationship that is completely broken.

The greatest love story of all time is the story of God’s love for His people as recorded in the Bible. All human love is a reflection of that first love. Listen to what God says to us about saying you’re sorry:

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9

Some may take this legalistically, turning it into a rule that says we must search and search our life, notice and remember every sin we’ve ever committed and list them out and confess them, in order to appease God’s wrath. But this isn’t true. He knows we can’t confess every wrong doing because there are so many we commit without even realizing it. Sin is our default setting. God doesn’t tell us to confess to punish us, or make us feel bad. He wants us to realize we are sinners and confess, so that we can experience His forgiveness and feel better. Listen to what David says in Psalm 51 after his confession of adultery with Bathsheba:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

Not confessing our sins leads to separation from God and others. Confessing heals and restores. It’s good for the soul.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Okay folks, let’s be serious, did you actually think that I would not address the most famous love quote in the Bible before the end of the month. This is a quote said at weddings a lot, but this quote of love is not just for a husband and wife but how we are to be with everyone. Jesus loved us no matter how sinful we are, with patience and tolerance; however, we do not afford the same courtesy to others. We set limits and conditions on our love, hold grudges over real and imagined slights, and just all around generally behave in a loveless manner to our fellow humans. Now before you get yourself all worked up, I DO THE SAME THING. That’s right, I hold myself just as accountable as any other. I have been trying to be better, and I have been being more loving towards those that I may not agree with or upset me; but sometimes I falter. When I do, I brush myself off, get back on the path and continue. This is not a condemnation of our attitude, but rather a chance for you to look deep into yourself and ask the questions I pose –

Like this:

I came across this scripture in a book I am currently reading, Nourishing the Seed by Bob Mumford. It is taken from The Message, which is a paraphrase of the Bible, and it fits so well with our theme this month.

“Watch what God does and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loves us. His love was not cautious, but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that” Ephesians 5:1-2″

What are some of your favorite Bible verses about love? Please comment and share.