It’s been a rough start to 2014 or rather a difficult end to 2013, and the sadness has followed us into the New Year. AJ and I are animal people, it’s one of the greatest things that we have in common. But this past week, we had to say goodbye to one of our little darlings. LB was a fabulous pet- sweet, cuddly, easy going- really you can’t ask for more in a ferret.

Five days ago, he started suffering, and it was clear he was in pain. So at 1 AM AJ rushed him to the emergency vet, where they found not one, but 3 stones in his bladder. One of the stones was blocking his bladder completely, to the point where it wouldn’t empty and was ready to burst. The poor little guy had to go worse than ever, and the pressure just continued to build.

Worse still, was the fact that even if the offending stone was removed, there were two more ready to take it’s place. With tears in her eyes, the vet explained to AJ that LB likely wouldn’t make it through one surgery, let alone three. Here’s where I have my biggest regret- I wasn’t there to hold AJ’s hand when he received that news. He had to absorb the fact that LB couldn’t be helped without being able to lean on me. As soon as we had realized that LB required acute care, AJ had whisked him out the door, and told me to stay put. I had no idea that it was a life or death situation, but something told AJ to protect me, and spare me, as much as possible from any difficult decisions that were to follow.

After a solemn phone conversation, we decided that the only option was to spare LB any more pain- since the vet had advised he didn’t have long and would be in constant agony until the end. So AJ made the final decision, signed the paperwork, and got a few more LB kisses before they ended his discomfort for good.

Now we don’t have any children, so for us, this truly feels like losing a family member. I know my perceptions will shift if I someday become Mommy to a baby with two legs rather than four; but for now, our little circus is all I know. We spent the rest of that long night in alternate tears and silence, sitting on the couch staring at, but not really watching the television.

So as we move farther into 2014, we’re still struggling to shake the sadness and focus on the opportunity for a fresh start. We did adopt some adorable little friends fairly quickly, as LB’s sister was left behind. Ferrets who are paired don’t fare well when they lose their best friends, in fact, they are known to die of a broken heart. To ease her pain ( and in turn ours) we added these guys to our brood: