Search

walking to work today, i was struck by a realization that i’d been working up to lately and for that brief period, i was so happy. i was feeling so strong in who i was, and so sure of myself. i felt connected to my body and to my life in a way that i, sadly, don’t normally.

it was a warm evening, and i was wearing great shoes and my life in general is at such a positive place now. i still have issues, and oddly enough, i feel like i’m gaining weight, which is something that always makes me feel less confident, but for that moment today, it didn’t matter. in that moment, i was more than my body and there were way more important things in my life than whether or not i should go on a diet.

it was really nice.

2. everyone at work has greeted me BY NAME

i feel like such a jerk – i barely recognize these people, and they are so sweet and always refer to me by my name, asking me how my day is. and i don’t remember any of them! but what a lovely thing – to start a new job in a new country and have your coworkers be so nice. i’m very grateful for them.

3. my husband and future family

i realize over and over, especially when i’m talking with his younger siblings, what an amazing father and daddy my husband will be some day to our future kids, and i’m so grateful.

no, unfortunately i didn’t actually go to yoga today, but i found a studio that has classes in english (and it’s the ONLY website [surprisingly] that i’ve seen in english here) and i’ve heard that it’s a great studio.

i’ve been thinking a lot about my job, you know, now that i have one, and though i’m so grateful to have gotten good offers here, i was a bit let down after my first day. i didn’t love it. and, i suppose i knew that, having left barcelona feeling burnt out and uninspired after four years of doing it.

but i’ve also been thinking about the environment that i create for myself and being responsible for my own happiness. yoga makes me happy. it’s that simple. every time i go, i feel so clean and clear and peaceful after. and it’s the one thing that even at my worst moments in the past year, i could get out of bed to do. because i crave that feeling, because yoga is such an excellent workout and also because it connects me with a part of myself that i’ve been really closed off from for years.

i realized suddenly, after thinking of both of these things separately, that if i became a yoga instructor, problem solved! so, today i am grateful for yoga and also for my own realization and new-found sense of direction.

2. new friends

today i went to the welcome back brunch, expecting to just hang with the ladies i’ve already met at thursday coffeetime, but to my surprise there were a few younger gals walking around! they were all newbies to germany as well and seemed really nice and quite into the idea of having a younger member dinner & drinks meet up, which i am excited about. not, of course, that age matters so much in friendship, but it’s still nice to have met some new folks.

me, sashi, elle & lisa

3. all my friends are safe, healthy and happy

this morning, at around 6:30 am (which is EARLY to me), i was woken up by a phone call from my close friend’s husband. and then it hung up. and i lay there, trying to go back to sleep, but there was this little thought wriggling its way from the back of my mind: what if something’s wrong?

now, if there were an emergency, i sincerely doubt he would call me. i am, after all, a continent, an ocean and a couple of countries away, so there isn’t much i could do. but still, there was that doubt. so, of course, i couldn’t sleep.

and about half an hour later, i got a text from her saying that he had just been showing her mom ‘skype’ and had called me on accident and, though it didn’t make me go back to sleep (unfortunately), i was so relieved.

being away from my friends is rather difficult at times. knowing they are where they are, happily living their lives and becoming even more amazing than they already are, makes it just a little bit better. i’m so grateful that i have them in my life. i often wish that they were closer, or i were, but at the same time, i see bits of them everywhere, in every part of my life. and i’m grateful for everything i’ve learned from them.