Foreplay - The Yin Way

There is a belief in many Eastern cultures that male and female energies run opposite each other. According to the Taoists energy system, yang is the masculine or active energy and yin is the female or receptive energy. The male pulls his sexual and life energy (yang) up from his feet, through his genitals and into his heart, whereas the woman’s energy (yin) starts from the top of her head, through her heart and then into her genitals. The result of these opposing energy systems is – the woman needs a heart connection before she desires sex and the man needs sex before he can feel a heart connection. Are you ready to allow your energy systems to harmonize and balance as they open the door for incredible bliss?

Another perspective on yin-yang energy is viewing it as the union of opposites. No biological system is entirely yin or yang and no person is entirely masculine or feminine. Following this concept, your yin-yang relationship will be influenced by your chosen techniques and sexual positions used in your dance of energies. This is not a “War of the Sexes,” but rather an opportunity for you and your partner to expand and become more balanced energetically as you both embrace your yin and yang. A sensual bath or water ritual can be very relaxing. Hair brushing, foot massage, poetry reading, chanting or partner yoga are other calming ways to start your sensual-spiritual connection.

Start your foreplay sitting yab-yum as you breathe together and eye gaze, or embrace in a full body hug. Eye gazing opens a powerful channel for sexual energy. As a general rule, keep your eyes open when you can, and close them when you can’t. This allows the practice to support you, not to undermine you. Eye gazing can uncover nervousness or embarrassment. In being seen we are exposing ourselves and stating that we are fully present in the experience. If these feelings emerge, simply acknowledge and allow them. If you are accustomed to making love with your eyes shut, you have not been truly available to your lover. Begin by allowing your eyes to do “soft vision” which is a receptive mode. It gets you out of the staring mode, which is scrutinizing and indicates that your will is in charge. Let your eyes blink, be natural. Notice the sparkle in your partner’s eyes. Allow your visions to merge.

Synchronize your breathing, practice a different breathing pattern, or simply allow your breathing to synchronize naturally. Breathing together says “I resonate with you.” Breath is the ultimate catalyst for sexual pleasure. It is the bridge between mind and body, and focusing on it can anchor you to the present. It unhooks you from all those thoughts cursing through your brain and connects you with your essential life energy (prana, chi, ki). Breathing creates receptivity in your body and an intimate connection with your partner.

To add a tantric kiss to your yab-yum position, rest your foreheads together in mutual meditation. This synchronizes brain waves and heart beats, and may help foster telepathic communication.