Good Morning, Noms! -Dec. 13

Are we all still here? Good, because Friday the 13th falls on a Thursday this month, so it’s time for a double helping of crazy. This edition turned into an eensy bit of a rant about how not to do websites if you’re an industry group. Because WTF, Oregon Wine Board?

Little junior’s all grown up & selling lots of bottles

Wineries in Oregon sold 2 million cases for the first time ever last year, according to the Oregon Wine Board’s census figures. You may ask why the Oregon Wine Board opens a new page every time you click on an internal link. You may ask why the 2011 census figures are being released nineteen days before the end of 2012. You might even ask how they manage to ensure that no one understands what information is available and to whom on their website.

Actually you don’t have to ask any of those questions because I already found the damn census for you. I think most of the cases that put us over the hump went straight into the gullets of the web design team. You can also (apparently) blame a news aggregation service called Curata for some of the shenanigans in the newsroom.

Pro tip: If your news aggregation service doesn’t have an easily identifiable RSS feed, you are paying too much or not enough.

Basically what I’m saying is, despite its utter inability to market itself, Oregon wine is booming. Imagine what would happen if we got our shit together.

Trappist monks export to the U.S. for the first time, ever

In another “being awesome is sufficient to sell lots of alcohol” story, the monks of St. Sixtus Abbey, brewers of some of the most sought after beers in the world, are releasing a beer in the states. It happened yesterday, so they’re probably all already gone (sorry). The monks need a new roof. Perhaps an inspired fan could bribe the contractor to do a terrible job, so that they release another beer to pay for the lawsuit.

Surprising no one, Portland has quite a few locations where you can find it, if you can find it (my guess would be Market of Choice – where the hell is there a Market of Choice?).

Let me just point out again, for those of you who are too impatient to hover, that the announcement of the beer’s release and available retailers is the “Hello World” post of a fresh WordPress install, repurposed with their news. This is adorable.