Self Defense for Women and Seniors

Why martial arts for seniors? Or, to pay lip service to being pc, why should boomers and old folks be interested in a martial art? Simple answer: reversing or slowing the effects of age. Sorry, I can’t help with the grumpiness! Actually, exercise is a great stress reliever and mood elevator so, maybe I can…<grin>.

For those who have not yet used a link to go to his site, Darren is an LEO with extensive combat training and teaching. He is also an extraordinary researcher, unwilling to accept statistics on their face value or “new” research without deeper personal investigation.

Total Awareness: A Woman’s Safety Book is almost a one stop shopping center for the topic of personal home and street safety.

The Gift of Fear: summing up the strategies used by criminals and con men…

Con men use social skills to get close to and manipulate their victims. They are better at doing this than most people are at seeing through them.
Gavin de Becker wrote an amazing book called: "The Gift Of Fear." In it he identifies 6 strategies that criminals use which can be identified and used to boomerang back on them, whether they are after you wallet or your life.

Reading this is no substitute to reading the book. I wrote this to encourage folks to get it and read it diligently.

1. Forced Teaming - the false “WE” partnership. De Becker gives many examples of what this looks like but it boils down to phrases and attitude that imply that two strangers (one of which is you) have a lot in common and are sharing a moment, getting closer and trusting each other as it were.

Defence - Don’t buy in; make it clear you are not partners and never will be. Who invited him into your life anyway? Raise your voice, be firm, be rude if you want.

2. Charm and Niceness - Charm is what someone does, not what they are. Sincere charm is one social skill that all con men and a lot of street criminals share, but it is fake. They do not mean it and it is very hard to resist.

Defence - If someone is being nice out of the blue, ask, “Why is he being so nice?” Explicitly rebuff his approach with no ambiguous terms. “Go away! Leave me alone!” You may even be rude. If he really is nice, he will listen.

Con men use social skills to get close to and manipulate their victims. They are better at doing this than most people are at seeing through them. Gavin de Becker wrote an amazing book called: "The Gift Of Fear."

In it he identifies 6 strategies that criminals use which can be identified and used to boomerang back on them, whether they are after you wallet or your life.

Reading this is no substitute to reading the book. I wrote this to encourage folks to get it and read it diligently.

1. Forced Teaming - the false “WE” partnership. De Becker gives many examples of what this looks like but it boils down to phrases and attitude that imply that two strangers (one of which is you) have a lot in common and are sharing a moment, getting closer and trusting each other as it were.

Defence - Don’t buy in; make it clear you are not partners and never will be. Who invited him into your life anyway? Raise your voice, be firm, be rude if you want.

2. Charm and Niceness - Charm is what someone does, not what they are. Sincere charm is one social skill that all con men and a lot of street criminals share, but it is fake. They do not mean it and it is very hard to resist.

Defence - If someone is being nice out of the blue, ask, “Why is he being so nice?” Explicitly rebuff his approach with no ambiguous terms. “Go away! Leave me alone!” You may even be rude. If he really is nice, he will listen.

This is a violence success story. I have posted most of the story in italics and interspersed it with my comments. I chose this story to highlight the fact that you need not just give up and die when faced with overwhelming violence and your favourite talisman of self protection is suddenly not available.

The best you can do is to choose the type of pain that you hate the least…you can’t avoid pain completely. The pain is either physical or emotional and bullies are practiced masters of causing this pain to others…

Although we have never met, Jaime, creator of the Wanted: Hero stories, has immortalised some of my friends and I in his graphic novel.

It is just too cool!

What if you sent out your man, errr, dwarf, (Or is he a cigar smoking elf?), to get the prophesied Hero to save the world from total destruction at the hands of evil and he brought back THE WRONG MAN!?

The concept of “shearing” I got from Bob Orlando, a fine gentleman and martial arts instructor in Denver CO.

Practise hitting things with your elbow from as many directions as you can think of and from any position. Without actually hitting stuff, you will not get a useful feel for this very strong technique.

You would never drive a car without a licence, or buy a rifle without learning the laws about owning and using it. Don’t get in a self defence situation without knowing your rights and responsibilities!