28 October 2004

The Meaning of Life?

I got to thinking today about the meaning of life, and I actually don't believe there is one in any kind of huge, lasting, historical sense. I don't believe that "we're on this earth for a reason" or anything like that. I actually don't believe that humanity as a species serves any specific purpose.

I was telling Jaime that belief in destiny and/or life's true meaning is similar in its demands to belief in God, in the same way that I think belief in aliens is similar to belief in a god. Not that believing in aliens and believing in God are the same thing, but they demand similar things from a person in terms of faith.

Belief in the future is a whole other thing. Jaime and I both agreed that the future exists, but we curbed our discussion about whether it will exist or exists now. I didn't have the energy for that one. But it's simple Newtonian theory that the future will exist. Objects in motion...

Jaime decided that our friends, upon hearing of my disbelief in the existence of an enormous meaning of life, would ask me, "then why do you get up in the morning?" The answer for me is easy: because I like it. And also because it happens without me having to do anything. Why do I get out of bed? Because I like life better than death.

I believe that the things I do have meaning: transitory, emotional, interpersonal meaning. I do not, however, believe that they have lasting, historical meaning or that the species is headed anywhere specific.

I was stern with an actor today. She deserved it, too. I don't understand actors sometimes. I rehearse four days a week. I give them many nights off on top of that. This is a small part. So why don't you know your lines? And I don't yell. I don't tell people they forgot their lines. They know they fucked up. I don't have to tell them. But what this actor did was beyond not knowing lines. It was ignoring the reality that a scene was going on and attempting to fake her way through the play. For me this is unacceptable. Show up and work. I have no interest in anything else at all.