The Destination

Our friend, Vicky, tells my husband and I she’s on a bus, traveling. She wants to get to her final destination, only she’s not sure where the bus is headed.

On Wednesday, Vicky went on life support following a massive cardiac arrest incident and multiple organ failure. Vicky has no family, no living will. On Thursday, the medical staff made a decision to stop life support. The tube was removed and the doctors concurred that she could not survive. After several hours, extremely dehydrated but alive, Vicky opened her eyes and said, “I want to live!”

With those words, the atmosphere in the ICU changed. Bright lights. Busy staff. Medical procedures.

Vicky needs a new heart, but she’s not a candidate, given her damaged and failing organs. No one can explain why she’s alive. But she is. Vicky has a brilliant mind, even now. She’s a deep thinker, even now. She’s an educated, vibrant, witty woman, who can crack a joke, even now.

But Vicky also cries often. She has a sensitive heart, maybe too sensitive. Her wounds, going back to her childhood, are deep and like open sores that she shows to us from her hospital bed in the ICU.

She’s the same Vicky we’ve known, but the ammonia build-up in her liver causes her confusion. She thinks she’s on a bus, or perhaps a train, she says. But she feels as if she’s traveling. “What’s happened to me?” She often asks, especially after waking. “Where am I?” Where are we going?”

When the tsunami hit South India, in 2004, Vicky was instrumental in our church’s major fundraising event. Vicky came along with my husband and I to India. Together, we walked through devastated remote villages and shed tears on beaches that had become cemeteries dotted with coconut sapling gravestones. Vicky hugged children, prayed for the wounded and was a trooper through horrendous conditions.

Now, Vicky hugs us and says she loves us. She jokes, smiles, chats, and contemplates on her past, and often cries, touching the sandalwood rosary around her neck that she purchased during our mission trip to India in 2004.

Please pray for Vicky. I’m not sure why shy can’t get off the bus she thinks she’s on and why she can’t reach her final destination. I wish and pray she could survive and be the full and complete person God meant her to be. I want her to live. The medical staff says she has zero chance of recovery. She has the will to live, but so do many others who still die. God is a factor in why she is surviving. We can’t get anywhere on our own. There is more going on, spiritually, in this situation than I can wrap my mind around.

I just don’t want Vicky to remain stuck on this bus going nowhere, sad and confused.

Tonight she told us she wants to go home, but she says she’s stuck in a bizarre situation, in a house with three girls who say they are nurses, but she knows it’s not so. She says her house needs to be cleaned and she’s really worried about that mess.

Please pray for Vicky. Pray to God that she can find peace and healing so that she can reach her final destination. Pray for God’s mercy for Vicky, for God’s Grace and for Jesus to take her where she needs to be.

I’m sure God is the driver of Vicky’s bus. Through his mercy he will be with her wherever he had decided she should be. I pray that wherever her destination may by God will comfort her and if her destination is with Him in Glory He will comfort you in the knowledge that she is at peace.

Sounds great Lada, I’ll check it out now. I’ve been so behind in my reading and doing reviews that perhaps it’d be good to at least more forward to doing something for you with this one. Sounds great. Let me know how I can help with the release.

Thanks Heidi, Vicky is very pro-life and I remember how upset she was about the Terry Shivo case. It was really sad to see her being allowed to die, and we could do nothing about it. But she came back, even if for a little while.

Holly, my prayers for Vicky and for you as well. I think you should write down what she’s saying when you can. Perhaps keep a journal close by to record her bus ride. Perhaps it’s significant…Just a thought that came to me after reading your post. Hugs to all. xo

The mysterious God of the universe has His reasons for every event in life. He doesn’t owe us an explanation. It’s times like this that He’s testing our trust.
My heart is breaking along with yours right now. I’m praying for Vicky to be ‘home’ soon, wherever God decides that will be. I trust Him.

A story so full of emotion. It seems that God has decided it’s not quite time for her to come home just yet. Maybe it is for others that He has chosen this. I will pray for Vicky for her healing in whatever form that happens but for this confusion that seems to distress her somewhat to go away, so that she might be as much at peace as it possible….Diane

I agree with all of the comments above. It is a sad situation. Perhaps in her more lucid moments you can encourage her to forgive the perpetrators of her childhood wounds . If they are still open and sore, she most likely hasn’t gone through the process of forgiveness, fully.

Father in Heaven, How we praise you that you are aware of Vicki’s plight and Holly’s concern for her. Father we pray for healing either here or in heaven and especially for peace for Vicki, Holly, and those who are caring for her. In Jesus name, amen.

Thank you, Holly, for letting me know what happened to Vickie! What a sad life for a young woman! It breaks my heart, and I don’t even know her! I have been praying for her and YOU, too. You have such a servant-heart, full of compassion and love! I am very interested in what some others have said about Vickie still needing to forgive some perpetrators of her wounds. Who really knows? She may be doing that very thing in her heart and on this journey that seems to go on and on! God *is* at the wheel and He will carry her safely home when he is ready. I’m sure that all of her caregivers are learning some things along this journey, as well! God bless you for posting this, Holly!

Me

Done this: Regular freelance ghostwriter and online editor for Guideposts for Teens/Sweet 16 Magazine, creator/editor of a magazine for Wal-Mart Corp., journalist, newspaper features writer, published in a variety of national magazines and local newspapers, script writing/editing for corporations. Doing this now: author of fiction and nonfiction, blogger, and editor of Koinonia Magazine. I’m the wife of Rt. Rev. Leo Michael, an Anglican Bishop in the Holy Catholic Church-Anglican Rite. Mom to three great kids: Nick (#81 Rajin Cajuns), Betsy (Super cute professor) and Jake (T1D & NFL player) Also, enjoy my travels extensively across the United States and internationally.