My name is Helen Jones and I’m a doctor employed by the British Antarctic Survey. For the next nine months I’ll be working on board the James Clark Ross as she performs scientific research in the Southern Ocean and supplies the British research bases of Antarctica.
I’ve started this blog in the hopes of entertaining and giving people a chance to see some pretty pictures. I might even throw some science in occasionally!

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Happy Easter!

At the moment, no oceanography is happening. In the mild
terms of one of our seafarers, there’s a bit of a blow on. Or as one of our
technicians put it, “Who ordered the howling gale?” So it’s all very much like
a holiday on board- or it would be if you spent your holidays sliding up and
down the floor and flailing madly at every bit of furniture that you went past.
Surprisingly no one has been to see me about sea sickness tablets recently.
This may mean that they’re all hardened sea farers or that they’re lying in
their bunks groaning quietly and collectively. I was reading the monthly
reports of my predecessors and one included the graphic and memorable phrase
“...I don’t want to have to clean chunks out of my surgery sink ever again...”
so I have to conclude that perhaps it’s for the best if people don’t wend their
way to the surgery when feeling a trifle delicate and simply call me and
request a home visit instead.

So how have I been occupying myself when not ministering to
the needs of the poorly and mopping their feverish brows? Well, I did have the
fun of teaching one of our scientists and a technician about wound care. An
orange had Grievous Bodily Harm inflicted on it and then we variously
steristripped, glued and sutured wounds closed.For purposes of verisimilitude a face was drawn on the fruit with marker
pen; he looked very jaunty. Sadly I may have destroyed our technician’s dreams
of doing a Rambo and cauterising his own wound with gunpowder and then
stitching it closed. I pointed out that this would probably hurt a lot and
anyway it didn’t sound very sterile to ME. I then pontificated that “irrigation
is the solution to pollution” before slashing the orange again and ripping away
a bit of peel to create a more authentic wound. I may have slight anger issues.
Our orange was then dubbed the “Franken-fruit.” Once we finished with him we
deposited him back in the fruit bowl- complete with sutures still in situ.
Unaccountably, no one seems to want to eat him...

Soundtrack suggestions... The first cut is the deepest?

The FrankenFruit!

I’m also completing the indent. Never fear, faint hearts, it
is PRECISELY as dull as it sounds! I’m also not entirely certain that I’m doing
it correctly. My duty this month, you see, is to order all the stuff that we
need for the next year or so. Now we have a lot of stuff on board that is very
much there as a “break glass in case of emergency” kind of thing. So quite
often things need to be reordered simply because they’re out of date rather
than because we’ve run out. Whilst it might seem excessive to keep re-ordering
really arcane bits of medical equipment or drugs, I really, really wouldn’t
want to be in the situation where they’re needed and not there.

In an exceptionally nerdy sort of way, I’m actually enjoying
the work. It’s not exactly taxing- but my drugs cupboard looks so much sleeker
and tidier now that I’ve got rid of some of the ballast! I’ve gone for the
drugs cupboard first because most of the stuff is in drawers so if the ship
moves a bit briskly I can slam the drawer shut. I have a horrible mental image
of being crushed beneath a hundred-weight of life saving medical equipment and
my bosses calling my next of kin to say that I was killed by sledge-hammer
irony.

So I’ve had my laptop in the drug cupboard with me, playing
Billy Joel and the Boss as loud as I can and singing oh-so tunefully to myself.
No one has complained just yet, although I have noticed a sharp increase in the
amount of beer consumed on board...

In terms of how else I’ve been amusing myself, I’ve been
knitting a cardigan like mad for my other half. Apparently I have an
extraordinary capacity to mess things up. I’ve had to rip it down and re-knit
it so many times. By the time he gets it, I’ll actually have knitted it twice.
I also keep looking at online fabric shops and lusting after their wares. I’ve
been strong so far and not caved but I want crepe, I want silk! It’s not the
clothing-in-potentia that I’m buying, you see. It’s just like a lottery ticket.
I’m buying the hope that I will make
something gorgeous and one-of-a-kind and then shrug and laugh and tell people,
“Hah, oh it’s just something I made!” whilst feeling horrifically smug inside.

What this? Oh it's just something I made! Back and left front of the cardigan. He will LIKE IT!

And on that slightly bizarre note, Happy Easter! I trust you
will all have a joyously chocolate-fuelled couple of days!

Great read made me smile, id be no good mybsea legs are non existent, i feltva bit Bleurgghjust reading chopiness grabbing furniture. I couldnt even get out of Dover harbouronna ferry December a few years ago. Ill stick to land i think lol

Great read made me smile, id be no good mybsea legs are non existent, i feltva bit Bleurgghjust reading chopiness grabbing furniture. I couldnt even get out of Dover harbouronna ferry December a few years ago. Ill stick to land i think lol