The Importance of not Falling Over on Television

I can say for certain than I have appeared in front of the cameras at races.

For example, a Fun Cup race last year at Donington. These are single-make endurance events, and I was in ‘the cage’ at the Fogarty/Roberts esses. This post is in the straight-ahead position, behind the gravel-trap. Post-chief warned me to look out for anyone rejoining unsafely. And it IS a great spot for overtaking, minor shunts and spinners.

Which is what we had. The first car (we’ll call this driver Juanita) went up the inside of, erm, Mr Cyril Sneer (?) on the brakes. It was a righteous ol’ move, but contact was made (racing incident, impartial, not judging) and both cars had gentle half-spins onto the tarmac run-off. The first car floored it and got away into a gap. Nice on, Cyril. Juanita tried to get going, but a mixture of hesitation, clutch judder and poor visibility compromised her re-entry. Also, it might be said, some competitors were somewhat blinkered to the yellows.

Skip to the ensuing safety-car, and I’ve run up to Goddards. I’m stood on the bank awaiting a signal from the chief to scramble down the tyre barrier, across the track and retrieve a big chunk of body work. There, I’m off, grab it, stop to kick some smaller bits of GRP away, listening for, there, the whistle, cars approaching, and I dash up to the barrier again. Which I realise is, really, quite high. With a camera staring straight at me. Oh.

Don’t worry, I made it up. On the second try. Because although the qualities of poise and grace portray a lightness of being, they are in fact quite heavy, and I was forced to leave them on the grass.