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Conversations, Emails, Words, Misunderstandings

I came back, and I’m dying to tell you about the history of that magnificent place. How are you?

Sensitive Friend,

This is it! Here is where reality becomes a reality! I love hearing about history and the next moment I forget everything. I read with thirst what you wrote. Unfortunately, they are so many details too much for me to remember, and probably they are just a drop for you. And then I’m thirsty for more.

How am I? Good, thank you, merçi beaucoup.

I think I am now in a time of my life when I “live in the here and now” (as odd people seem to say). I notice all my reactions and enjoy them as if I am aware of myself minute by minute. It won’t last, and for now, I don’t let it go. Overall, I’m in a serene disposition somehow towards or close to happiness. Is it possible I have a better perspective? Can one be happy without perspective?

I’m even more aware of my state when I visit others, and as I enter the living rooms, I notice people with sad or depressed expressions, many times for little obstacles in their lives.

I see with ease people’s attitudes, and I wonder if they are a matter of habit, due to something real, or just wanting for attention.

Indeed, I have no access to intimate discussion of the hostess, as these people demand immediate attention from her. Therefore, I have few chances to know others and the other to known me in a more personal way.

With one specific person, I would have liked to build a closer friendship. She is delightful, has a strong sense of humour, and seems exceptionally generous. At the same time, the bond will always be limited, much of it because she is very religious and the wild parts of my personality would lead to her distancing from me.

Stupidities. Stupidities. Stupidities.

Wise Friend,

I enjoyed genuinely what you wrote.

Do you remember when sometimes I mentioned narcissism (in its positive meaning) and you answered “hmm!”?
You seem to master well the relation between control and ingenuity.

Life developed in you an adequate “technique” based on self-observation and inner dialogues, leading to the tonic and definite conclusion of thankfulness to oneself, which in fact is the ultimate goal.

It’s one way to adapt optimally to the conditions of your life. Otherwise, you could not be “ in a serene and happy disposition”.

I also tend to observe myself (we are human!), but depending on the situation I’m pleased with myself, other times I’m ashamed.

It displeases me that so many times I have to lie to myself and I can’t be honest totally. At times, I am (honest), at other times not (I’m not an idiot!) Hence, these sensations of “dissatisfaction and waste.”

I fear in those moments.

Hey, yet again I rambled.

By the way, I disagree with how you ended your letter: “Stupidities. Stupidities. Stupidities.”