UMBC Gender and Women's Studies Students Write Back

Achilles

I have been dancing since I was 7 years old and I still have not stopped. From break-dancing, Hip hop and even my own Punjabi cultural dance known as Bhangra. Dancing is my way to express myself and enjoy the limelight of the stage. From the age of 7 to 21 years old I never had any serious injuries besides some minor bruises or strained muscles.

This time last year I was at practice for my cultural dance because we had a performance coming up. I remember going into a squat like move while dancing and I felt a pop around my ankle. I instantly felt crazy amount of pain shoot up my leg but at the moment I told myself “It’s just a sore ankle or I probably twisted it really bad”. I left practice and went home to rest up. The next morning I went to ocean city and realized it was a really bad mistake because I could not even walk. I was trying to convince myself that its nothing serious, I was in denial.

When I finally came back to Baltimore the very next day I went to the doctors just to prove everyone wrong that it is nothing serious. The doctor came into my room and asked me to rate my pain. Out of fear I lied and said “Oh its like a 4 on a scale of 10”. She then told me to walk to the X-ray room but I could put no weight on my left foot. I think when the doctor saw I was sliding my foot she then asked me again “how bad is the pain”. At that point I couldn’t take the pain and I told her “its like a solid 9 or 10”. She told me to sit and had someone get a wheel chair and I was pushed over to the x-ray room. The doctor came in the room and told me I have a partial tare in my Achilles and I cannot dance for at least 6 months. The next thing I saw was a nurse walking towards my room a huge boot. I was praying it was not for me. Surprise, it was for me, I had to sit down while she put this contraption around my ankle. I went from dancing all the time for all these years to struggling with day-to-day tasks.

Simple tasks such as walking, showering and just having fun doing random things became a huge struggle. I am a very independent person and the fact I had to get people to help me with stupid meaningless tasks just killed me from the inside. On top of that I was not able to dance. Even after my injury I would go to practice and watch my team practice. I felt like a kid who had to be inside when all of the kids went out for recess.

6 months later I was still unable to dance but I started realizing how much we take for granted. It helped me appreciate my body and taught me to be careful and take every measure to remain injury free. It took me exactly 1 year to walk, run and start dancing. The problem with this level of injury is the mental block because you fear any amount of movement will cause the injury. Even to this day too much activity brings up minor pain but nothing at the level as it was before. Just goes to show our body has small parts that have to work together in order to be functioning at its best level.

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3 Responses

Bruhhhh I feel you! I get you so much on the “I’m fine phase.” I always do that when I’m hurt, its usually at times when I have a big trip coming up or am supposed to go out with friends. I try to fake it and act like everything is okay but in reality i’m like “Lord, please help me fake this pain for a couple more hours, please!” It really be like that sometimes, I give you props for even faking it to the doctor! You seem like your really independent, but just remember just because you ask for help doesn’t make you weak. That was something I had to learn the hard way, thanks for sharing though! Hope my last comment helps!

As a dancer i can completely relate to this! its really hard when you have so much to focus on in terms of a dancer and having one injury slow every aspect of your life down. It can put you at a disadvantage on your own team because dancers that aren’t in pain can easily replace your spot while you are recovering. I give you props for pushing through the pain. Just know your limits next time you have an intense practice!