The Hard Gift of Feedback

Feedback is a gift. It is an opportunity for personal development and ultimately leadership development. And, it is hard; Very hard.

Not sure which is harder, giving feedback or accepting it. Recently I was with a small group of Vistage Chairs, several of us long-tenured, and we were discussing this very topic. In fact, we spent a couple of hours working with each other to improve our skills at both. I mention long-tenured, as a reminder to myself, that no matter how skilled we think we are at this, it is hard, and requires constant practice.

Here are the reminders I heard…

When giving feedback:

You can earn trust with truthful, specific, positive feedback.

When giving constructive feedback, ask first if the receiver is open to feedback.

Even better, wait until the feedback is asked for.

Own your experience, share feelings, and observations; be specific.

Use neutral language e.g., my experience of you… or When you do…, I feel…

Remember the purpose of feedback is to share your experience of another person, not to “fix” the other person.

When receiving feedback, remember it is a gift

Ask for feedback, and be specific about the purpose, e.g., I want to become more effective at…