Kingdoms of the Second Age

Rumpy's Diary: Entry 1

Dear Diary,

I’ve decided to keep you because I’ve been up north for far longer than I ever intended when I left to investigate the rumors of war and ancient evil. There’s going to be a long boring debriefing when I get home so I’d rather just put it all down in you and then I can hand you over to them and let them read it themselves.

This week was actually the closest I’ve been to home since I left. Since you haven’t existed until now I’ll catch you up a bit on what we were doing.

So, this is kinda embarrassing, but we let a black dragon loose in the sunken lands when we were up there last. We thought it was great, he ate a bunch of gross squid head guys and their giant pet brain, so we thought, cool, thanks dragon. But now he’s ravaging the countryside and some of my companions are worried that their families will get eaten or something. Sometimes I wish mine would, but that’s something for later.

When we were in the capitol two weeks or so ago the nice barbarian guy (yeeowch, hot!) brought us a book about dragons that seemed to suggest we would need a weapon forged specifically for the purpose of slaying them to stand a chance. So we asked what’s her name at the sages guild and she said maybe the disciples of Eryt in Abol would be able to use their power to see where we might find a big ass hammer made by giants. Ugh, I bet it stinks just like they do.

We spoke with the lady about what she might do to leverage the dragon attacks to hold back the breaking of war, then we got ourselves on our way to Abol. Diary, you’ll never believe it, but I finally got my pony!!

The trip to Abol was pretty boring, but I got to make great friends with my pony. His name was Herman Papaloma Virus and he had the cutest little black spot on his flank. But then we got to Abol.

I didn’t like it at all. All the people stared at me like I was some kind of freak. Most of them didn’t even have beards, they’re the freaks! Jerks. And then, and then

And then I had to sell my pony. It was the saddest day of my life. But they said we had to go into the endless desert or something and mr. hpv wouldn’t be able to make it. I didn’t want him to die, so I sold him and I swore to him I would buy him back when we were done in the desert.

So let me back up diary, I’m sorry I got all sad there for a minute. When we got to Abol I wanted to go to the church of Anadea so I could make my obeisances and drop off some gold for their animal shelter like I always do, but apparently it’s frowned on here to worship the Sun Mistress. Ugh, these people are the worst. I’m kinda excited to be so close to Anadea here to be honest with you Diary.

She’s so close to the earth out here and her warmth is almost overwhelming. When I finally heard we were going into the desert I couldn’t wait.

Ok, so let me back up again. The bald headed guys by the pond with the creepy kid with the dirty eye. I felt like he could see my third layer of smalls through my chainmail and my leathers and my other two layers of smalls when he looked at me with it.

So after we found out that these people are heathens against Anadea and her light we wandered over to the most charming market place and met a funny little fruitmonger with the juciest pears ever. Yay pears! I was hanging out with Strude (omg, so steamy) and I guess we were looking for the disciples of Eryt. So we shared pears and we got some new duds for the desert. It took a while to find me some that would fit and then when we did the racist clothier didn’t wanna sell them to me so I almost had to get all up in his face, but then Strude was all like “Hey dude, sell the clothes to my obese daughter, she has a glandular condition. Dick.” And then the guy totally did.

Dang, this is getting so long, I don’t want to use you all up with the first entry diary. Sorry, I hope it doesn’t hurt you when I write in you.

So we found the bald guys sitting around a big long pool that people were swimming in but I wasn’t allowed to go in because I was a dwarf which is totally racist and I’m really starting to think that it’s so hot here because Anadea is keeping a close eye on these jerks in case they try something really bad.

The little gross kid told us he had been expecting us and that we were going to have to go even further south into the desert to find something made by giants (gross) so he could touch it up and see where the hammer they made for dragon smashing is. I guess it’s up in the swamp somewhere, probably extra filthy by now.

Anyway, we were going to have to through the desert to some place called the tomb of the giants, and so we did that.

We had to get some gross, smelly camels for the trip through Anadea-touched lands. Mine had a little ladder on it so I could get on. That was kinda cool I guess. And I couldn’t wait to spend some time getting closer to Anadea. We were going with some guy that Brock and Francis found who apparently is pretty good. He scared off the guide we found, so he must be good, but he’s way older and uglier.

Diary, I have to admit, after four days in the desert I was not really that happy about being so close to Anadea anymore. I prayed and prayed but it was really rough travel. I think Anadea was testing me to see if I was worthy to be so close to her brilliance. We had to slow down halfway through or I think I might not have made it.

We finally got to the tomb and it was really huge. It stank like giants and filthy giant stuff. We were all kinda tired so we rested for a few days outside, but the greedy old guide demanded more gold, and diary, I had to pay like twice as much as everyone else because “You’re the most tired Rumpish.” Francis and Brock are so mean. They could at least learn my name. I feel dirty every time I have to heal them. Burning stuff is way more fun anyway.

The first part of the tomb was a huge room with pillars running in two rows off into the darkness. I blessed one of my rocks-from-the-ground with Anadea’s presence and her light filled the darkness. At the far end of the room we saw something awesome.

Diary, you know those ceiling bugs that have faces on both sides and a million little feet? It was like one of those, but it had a face like a lizard kinda thing and all of it’s legs were like people’s legs. Also it was huge! It was scaly and wriggly and not very happy that we were in its house. Brock and Strude rushed in as always and it was on baby!

There was one point that got pretty bald where Brock was all twisted up in the thing’s body and it was chawing on his leg parts, but I got to send it some fire and Strude’s big old sword and rippling muscles carried us through.

The next room in the tomb was totally weird. There was a massive pillar in the center of the room with a huge hour glass suspended above it. It looked pretty ominous, but there was a lever on the pillar that flipped the glass when pulled. There were also a bunch of dead dudes hanging out, so I figured I’d ask them what happened to them.

Sad, they were super boring. “Boo hoo, we ran out of supplies, we just kept pulling the lever and we couldn’t get out.” Lame, they were no help at all. So eventually we said forget this noise and we let the sand run out. There were a bunch of weird holes in the ceiling and I was pretty sure the whole thing was gonna fall down on us, so I said everyone should stand under one of the holes. But the whole trap was just a stupid mind game and when the sand ran out all the doors opened and we went into the next room.

This room looked really similar, but the big pillar in the center had two levers on it. The ceiling had the same weird holes in it. Like usual my boys just ran in and yanked the levers. When Strude pulled one all the doors closed and the whole place started filling with sand! We were kinda worried, but it turned out that the second lever opened the door back the way we came. So we thought, “Hey, the last trap was solved when we just didn’t do squat, let’s try that again.” So we did and guess what Diary? It totally worked. We scrambled up the pillar in the center and waited for the sand. Right about when it got up to our level the pillar lifted up and all the sand started draining into the floor.

Take that temple, we’re wise to your tricks! It was awesome Diary, trust me. So we headed into the next room which turned out to be the last. Not a lot to say about this one, there was a pillar in the middle like the last two, but this pillar had a big ol’ chest up on it. Score!

Before we could scramble up and open it, two giant skeletons hopped up out of the sand and tried to smoosh us! Those nasty guys were pretty scary. I called on Anadea to fill them with her light. It’s terrifying to undead of all sorts, but I guess maybe I didn’t stand up well enough to her Ordeal because it didn’t seem to do anything. Good thing she also showed me how to make my own light. Old bones don’t burn so well, but it helped. Strude and Brock chopped them up, but they got smacked a few good ones too. By now I was really feeling the strain between Anadea and me and it was good that Francis knows a healing song or two because we were pretty well beaten up by the time we brought the skeletons down.

But we did it Diary! We killed those giants again and then we took their stuff right out of there. Inside the chest there were six huge giant coins. I took three and I think Francis took the other three. They’re actually beautiful, in a way. I think they’ll probably be just the thing for that freaky bald kid to lead us to a dragon squishing weapon so we can go clean up our mess up north.

Ok Diary. I know this has been quite a long introduction and I didn’t really let you say your piece, but I’m glad that we met. I’m going to bed now but I’ll be sure to tell you all about the trip back to Abol and how we’re supposed to find whatever it is it turns out we’re looking for. I’ll ask Anadea what she thinks about what we’re doing, but when she’s this close I think her voice might be too loud to understand.

The party, after spending a few days getting their bearings in the city of Caldaria, and after being recommended to the Pig in Tights Inn, was approached by Kreass and Gav. Kreass explained that he was a member of the Sage’s guild, and that the guild had need of a group of adventurers. They’d offered to pay a healthy sum to anyone willing to track down one of their missing expeditions into some recently discovered ruins down river from the city. The party accepted.

Catching a quick boat ride down the way, they ran ashore and began exploring the nearby marsh, where they were set upon by a pack of lizard men. They fought the creatures off, chasing a fleeing one to a sunken temple of sorts. Gathered around the temple were dozens of lizard men and the missing group of explorers. The explorers were bound, and it appeared that the lizard men were making ready to feed them to a group of swimming snakes.

The party acted quickly, deciding that the element of surprise overcame the obvious strategic disadvantage in which they found themselves, and attacked the lizard men head-on. In the chaos which ensued, the giant snakes began attacking and eating the explorers. The party was able to fight their way in and free the remaining explorers, when the snakes pursued them out of the sunken ruins at the center of the temple, revealing itself to be a massive hydra!

The party fought bravely, and though the beast grew a few new heads, they managed to slay the hydra. And only losing about half of the explorer’s party in the process! They then escorted these survivors back to Caldaria, where they claimed their reward from the Sage’s guild.

After deliberation, the party decided to set off to the capital city, Caldaria, by way of Mossvale. They stopped by the Crossroads Inn on their way, having drinks and settling a dispute between the cook and his alcoholic brother, before moving on.

While camped on the road to Mossvale, they were approached by bedraggled travelers fleeing from an attack on the Crossroads Inn! They told of ogres attacking earlier in the evening, with a group of hobgoblins who were looking for a group that, more or less, matched the party’s description.

During the night, the party was attacked by the ogres and hobgoblins, an assassination squad sent by Stonehand, who was seeking revenge for the destruction the party had caused to his band of raiders and his stronghold. The party deftly fought off the attackers, sending the one remaining survive off with a warning to Stonehand, that if he pursued this revenge it would be the end of him. Stonehand, who had watched the attack from the safety of the woods, took the warning to heart.

When the party approached Mossvale, it was already dusk. They made their way to the only inn in town, the Raven’s Roost. Inside, they found much of the town gathered together in a panic. Apparently, a tremendous beast had attacked the town’s church earlier in the evening. Also in the inn were Kreass and Gav, whom the party approached.

Kreass told the party that they were fleeing from Mossvale, which was destroyed in what was likely a dragon attack. Then Kreass explained about the attack on the church, and said that the people were speculating as to what could have caused the damage that had been seen. At this point, a young boy, Peter, exclaimed “I know who attacked the church! It was Eric!” When the party questioned the boy’s father, Stephos, as to who Eric was, they were told that Eric had been the boy’s older brother, who’d died of a wasting disease a month prior. The town’s priest of Anadea, Gramm, told the party of how he was powerless to stop the disease from consuming Eric, despite his ministrations.

The party went to the church to investigate the attack, finding dirty, rocks, and fragments of bone, wood, and cloth buried in the devastated building. All of it’s windows on the ground floor had been smashed in, and the front door collapsed. The party ventured in, while Rumpy called upon Anadea’s light to guide them. Upon entering one of the back chambers of the church, Anadea’s presence vanished, and the party discovered a concealed chamber. Descending into the room and investigating, the party discovered texts on various slow-acting poisons, and a particularly esoteric tome on the creation of golems by binding the souls of the dying to the physical world. The tome revealed that only the god of death had the power to free a soul so bound.

The party, unnerved by their findings and the general evil presence in the air, fled the church, whereupon they were attacked. A hulking mound of earth, filled with bones and splinters of wood which appeared to be from a coffin and topped with a pale skull, towered over them. They desperately tried to fight it off, but were overwhelmed and made a fighting retreat towards the cemetery out behind the church.

As they approached the cemetery, the saw a gaping hole in the earth, were it seemed as if a giant hand had reached in and pulled out several graves. Nearly defeated by the golem, Rumpy found Eric’s grave, which was the center one unearthed, and saw an amulet of Coan the Sad hung upon it. He quickly made for the icon, and, holding it up to the golem, asked the god of death to come down and take Eric’s soul.

The party was frozen in time as an emaciated, weeping figure appeared. He reached up and placed his hand upon the skull of the golem. In the next instant, the skull and figure had vanished, and the body of the golem collapsed to the ground, no longer animated.

The party returned to the inn and confronted Gramm with their findings. Gramm denied the accusations at first, then repented, saying that he was trying to give them life eternal, as Anadea would not answer his prayers. It was then revealed that many young men had died of the wasting disease, more and more in recent years, no doubt all caused by Gramm’s “loving hand”.

Strude took the young Peter outdoors as Stephos, claiming the right of vengeance, slit Gramm’s throat in the common room of the inn. The party, deciding they’d had enough of the town, set off with Kreass and Gav without delay and camped on the road to Caldaria.

Upon meeting a sturdy dwarven cleric named “Rumpy” at the Shining Maiden, the party set off north with Horgo Rune. Upon touching the ancient elven amulet discovered buried with Francis’ grandmother, Horgo was immediately able to remember details of the story he had heard in the elven canon. He had heard of death on black wings, and a city of the dead, wherein lived brains which walked on tentacles.

The party traveled, and discovered an ancient ruin somewhat covered by a mountain, almost as if the mountain had been dropped upon it. The party bartered using gestures and bread with the fungal peoples who had taken up residence in the ruins, eventually outsmarting them and, despite the vegepygmies’ apparent warning, descending into what appeared to be a collapsed jail. They descended, finding a long, winding tunnel, which led deep into the mountain.

Upon traveling for hours and reaching the end of the tunnel, the party found themselves upon a ledge which looked out upon a buried city. They could see hundreds of Illithids with thousands of slaves going about their daily business in the accursed place, and, far off into the caverns, were able to make out the massive form of a black dragon, restrained to a stone platform at the edge of the city and attended to by Illithid guards.

The party decided to make a desperate advance and attempt to free the black dragon under the cover of Horgo’s magic. They cautiously approached, seeing no way that the feeble restraints on the dragon could have actually held the monster, and fearing it must be under the mind-slaving effects of the Illithids. The powerful dragonfear held them at bay, until Brock managed to overcome his instinct and pushed forward, enthralled by the creature.

It was then that Horgo’s magics failed to conceal the party from the dragon any longer, and it whipped it’s head around. Briefly, Brock and the party found themselves face to face with the monster, it’s acidic breath stinging their eyes and it’s bubbling spittle burning their skin. Then, in a fit of desperation, Brock slung the ancient elven amulet of mind-warding into the dragon’s open mouth.

The beast, immediately freed from the mind control, turned and made quick work of it’s former Illithid guards. It then took to the skies, burning the inhabitants of the city below with it’s powerful breath, melting the flesh from their bones. It then turned it’s attention to the Elder Brain, in the birthing pools to the north of the city, where it fulfilled the prophecy foretold in the elven canon and enjoyed a bit of brain soup.

With the death of the Elder Brain, the far reaching memory suppressing psionic effects which prevented people from remembering the presence of the Illithids or the history of the Swallowed Lands was lifted. The Illithids were no longer able to capture travelers, enslaving them in secret, or to keep hidden from the outside world.

The party fled the city, making camp outside in the rain-drenched forest before heading south to Sulia.

The party, investigating many spiritual disturbances around the city of Sulia, uncovered an old abandoned doorway, recently unbarred, in a back storeroom of the Church of Sul. Despite the fact that their faithful warhounds were too frightened to enter, the party pushed onward.

They encountered a giant statue of a woman in the entryway, who came to life when the party attempted to open the doors out of the room, and began smashing up the place. The party quickly performed the ritual of purification, hastily washing themselves in a holy pool, thus calming the statue and allowing them to proceed.

In the depths, the party came to a span across a deep chasm, where they were set upon by angered spirits of the previous matrons of Sulia. They fought bravely, defending themselves and continuing onward to a sacred chamber containing a single tomb.

Opening the sarcophagus, the party found the remains of a beautiful elven woman, perfectly preserved, wearing a gleaming emerald necklace. The body was that of Sulanathastra, Francis’ grandmother. Her spirit was still bound to the material world due to her great spiritual power and the nature of her death, and had been driven by four centuries of isolation and suffering to the brink of madness.

The spirit’s wailing assaulted the party, driving Strude into a craze. He was restrained by Brock and Crackle, while Francis put his mother’s spirit to rest by singing an ancient elven lullaby.

After calming the spirit, the party claimed the ancient amulet, foretold by the elven canon to have great protective powers. They then noticed that they were being watched by a robed figure at the end of the chamber!

The party chased the mysterious being through the tunnels beneath the tomb, leading to the shore of an underground lake populated by statues. They found the figure they were chasing, as well as two more, gathered around a group of sleeping lizards. Approaching carefully, the party realized that the figures had purple, mottled flesh and tentacles surrounding their mouths. The figures turned to vapor and fled over the water, after waking the sleeping basilisks.

The ensuing fight was frantic and violent, and Crackle made a desperate attempt to cast a spell at the basilisks which resulted in her turning to stone! The party finished off the lizards, but too late to save Crackle.

They carried the petrified remains of their friend up into town, leaving her in the care of Horgo Rune, who swore to find a cure.

AKA the rape of the hobgoblins

The party left Sulia to deal with the Hobgoblin menace. After killing one of the hobgoblin scouting parties, the team decided to set a variety of traps and lure the bulk of the hobgoblin force out of their stronghold. After the slaughter, during which many war dogs were sicced on the defenseless raiders, the party decided to bed down for the night, allowing the hobgoblin leader, Stonehand, ample time to make good his escape.

The party rose bright and early the next morning and began pilfering the stronghold. Upon finding a room full of cowering hobgoblin women being valiantly defended by a dozen scraggly kobolds, the party decided to allow them to leave peacefully. They then returned to Sulia with a half empty chest of coin.

On the road to Qualinost we were attacked by three trolls. I greased them, one stumbled.

Brock and Strude stood and fought. I used a pinch of illusion dust on the embers of the fire to intimidate the trolls.

I lit a bunch of torches and distributed them.

Brock and Strude managed to down a troll. Francis hucked lamp oil on the other one.

We set the still standing troll on fire and he ran off into the woods after his companion. We shoveled the bits of the dead-for-now troll into the fire and made sure to burn them all completely.

We came to Qualinost via the elven paths that gave us all a headache.

We hung out for a month, learned spells from Horgo, got some armor from blindy’s dad and generally had good time.

We were getting anxious to move on and all the elves were like “What, it’s only been a month, why are you in such a hurry?” But then they remembered that we were humans and so they were like “Oh, ok, lets give you a feast.” And so they did.

We all learned scary truths from the elf music and most of them were about snakes.

We went back to Sulia, met with the matron, agreed to solve their hobgoblin problem, went to do so, alerted some guards and then fled.