"No, we aren't; you think my brother is cute and you hang out with me because you hope I'll say something nice about you to him so he'll want to take you away and have incredibly annoying, stupid little babies with you."

"You're a real bitch, you know that? And okay, yes, I think Lincoln's cute but I hang out with you because you're cool when you aren't in a bad mood."

"I'm not in a bad mood and I'm not a bitch, girls are bitches I'm an asshole."

"No, you're being a bitch and I think you're pre-menstrual. Do you need to borrow a pad or are you covered?"

"I'm covered, thanks. Think you could shut up now so I can watch the movie please?"

"Whatever."

"Stop staring at me."

"You're really pretty, you know that?"

"Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, the fact that I like guys does not mean that I'm female?"

"But you are pretty like a girl."

"One day I'm going to punch you very hard in your face."

"No you won't because Lincoln would beat you like a drag queen at a tractor-pull if you hit a girl."

"No he wouldn't, he's hit girls before and he knows they deserve it sometimes."

"Just because you're small and womanly doesn't mean you count as hitting a girl."

"Funny. He really has though you know, he's hit like three girls and he choked mom once."

"No way, really? Why?"

"According to him mom said something that made him mad and he didn't mean to but she was like an inch off the ground. It actually looked a little cool, except for the choking. And then once he hit a lady from social services who called me a liar and then he broke Kim's collarbone because she threatened to call the cops on us. He actually beat her pretty bad but the collarbone is what sticks out most in my mind because she actually went to the hospital for that."

"Wow. ...What about the other one?"

"Kim --not the same one as the collarbone-- she was in City of Angels with us. She picked on us non-stop but one day she just went too far, she crossed the line and Lincoln just socked her right in the face. He broke her cheekbone and she still had a black-eye when I left. It was cool."

"I... I didn't know you guys were in a group-home."

"That's because we never told you."

"No really, you think? Moron. That's why you got all scared when the cops were here the other day, isn't it?"

"Lincoln would get arrested and I'd get sent back to another group-home, probably Erin-House. That's where they send the kids who need special attention."

"Why would he get arrested? He's over eighteen and a close blood relation, wouldn't they want you to be with him? Unless he doesn't have custody of you, why doesn't he have custody of you?"

"You know for someone who acts like such a complete idiot most of the time you sure do know a lot."

"Eat me."

"Not if even if you were covered in barbecue sauce."

"Thank you. And you really aren't going to get me off the topic that easily: Why doesn't he have custody of you?"

"Because people are stupid and I have a note on my files saying I'm not supposed to be around him."

"What? What kind of note? What people? What-- I have so many questions now..."

"Good. Now you can keep them to yourself and you can look convincing when you say you're thinking."

"See this? It's me ignoring you. Okay, in order of importance: Why doesn't Lincoln have custody of you? Who are --and don't be a smart ass-- the stupid people? What kind of note and what file?"

"Okay, A: Because. B: The kind that stupid people put in other people's files. C: The bad kind of note, and D: My file."

"When we were in City of Angels someone in our hall got his gameboy stolen. Linc knew who did it but wouldn't tell because he's an idiot so I went to tell. When I got to the office though I found out that the guy who stole it said Lincoln did it and then Lincoln got moved to a different group home. And now I'm not allowed to be around him."

"I get the part where they moved him but why would that mean you can't be around him?"

"Because they said so."

"That's not how it works Michael."

"Well it was in this case, can I please watch my fucking movie now?"

"T'ch. Bitch."

"Crack-whore."

"Eat me."

"Blow me."

"Whip it out shemale."

"You're creepy. ...This movie really sucks, doesn't it?"

"It sucks more ass then you do on rent day."

"At least I brush my teeth afterwards."

"Ew."

"The one guy is kinda... cute though."

"Aww, does Mikey have a cwush?"

"You're not allowed to call me that. I'm not kidding."

"Whatever fuckwad, which one is cute?"

"Bill I think."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing just didn't take you for the blond type."

"Bill's not the blond one."

"He is too."

"He is not."

"Yeah, Bill's the blond one and the other one is Ted."

"Oh. Then I was talking about the other one."

"Heh, you wanna have assbabies with him."

"Shut up, I do not."

"Yes you do, you want him to totally get you pregnant so you two can have little flannel-wearing babies."

"There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don't know where to start."

"That sentence is wrong but you say nothing about the one where I talk about small human beings coming out of your ass?"

"That's because it's the great gay dream to have people --nevermind."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, that was something, what were you gonna say?"

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Yes you were, you were gonna say that the great gay dream was to have people fall out of your ass, weren't you?"

"No."

"Liar! Ew you sicko! Is that what happened to Lincoln?"

"I told you I didn't touch your hamster--"

"Guinea pig."

"Whatever. He ran away because you kept him in your underwear drawer."

"No he didn't he's probably in your colon right now!"

"Hey! Stop that! Get off me!"

"
Hello? Lincoln are you in there? Can you hear me? Hello? Lincoln?"

"What the fuck is going on here?"

"Linc get her off me! Help!"

"This isn't what it looks like."

"You're sitting on my brother's legs with your face in his crotch--"

"Abdomen."

"Same fucking thing. I'm sure you two are playing Sega."

"Get her off me she's gonna give me syphilis-- ow!"

"You deserved that one Tink. I'm gonna leave you two to your gay sex and go get food."

"No! Lincoln! Wait you bastard! Ugh."

"Did he just call me a guy or you a girl?"

"Since his boobs are bigger than yours I think he called you a guy now can you please move your girls parts off me; you're gonna make it crawl inside me and cry."

"No I can't, if he had anything you'd stab him in the stomach to make him go to the hospital."

"Maybe not the stomach..."

"Yeah whatever."

"You like laying on me, don't you?"

"It's comforting, like when you lay on Linc like this. Something about your heartbeat and the way your voice echoes through your chest."

"V?"

"It's nothing. Dad went out to the bar again. I wish I were a guy."

"Being a guy doesn't make it easier."

"No but me turning into a guy is a hell of a lot more likely than you ever being straight."

"...The conversation you're having isn't the same one I'm having, is it?"

"I don't know anymore. It would be so much easier if you were straight. Linc's cute but even if he did wanna fuck me I'm not stupid enough to think we'd ever be anything else. We can't even be in the same room for more than ten minutes him getting pissed off."

"That's only because he has a short temper."

"Really? Cause I hadn't noticed. He's barely tolerated me for years and probably does a victory dance every time I leave the room."

"Cut him some slack, there's something about copying notes off of someone four years younger than you that makes some guys a little funked out."

"Whatever, you've been helping him read for as long as I can remember."

"Yeah, at home. When all his friends were freshmen he was stuck in sixth grade being tutored at school by you. Do you have any idea what kind of shit his friends gave him for that?"

"And it's my fault the teachers are retards?"

"I didn't say it was your fault, just that you have to understand."

"It doesn't change the fact that he doesn't like me. And if he doesn't like me then... ugh. I don't like this thought."