Film reviews: Pirates Of The Caribbean, The Hippopotamus and more

3 / 5 stars

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge

SPLICE the main brace, shiver me timbers and avast behind! Captain Jack Sparrow and his motley crew are back to sail the seven seas in Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge, a right nautical carry on in which Johnny Depp’s tipsy, panda-eyed lech remains an appealing cross between Sid James and silent cinema clown Buster Keaton.

It has been six years since the last Pirates adventure and the break has been good for the series. It is the same chaotic old story this time around but it doesn’t feel quite as stale as they serve up another breathless mix of derring-do, daredevil slapstick comedy, smutty dialogue and a pounding musical score that seems determined to leave you with a splitting headache.

Why tamper with a winning formula?

This fifth instalment is very much about introducing new faces and tying up loose ends. A number of familiar faces return to the fold including Orlando Bloom as Will Turner.

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There is no cameo role for Keith Richards but Sir Paul McCartney proves a perfect substitute as another member of the extended Sparrow clan. Jack Sparrow himself is down on his uppers without a crew, a ship, self-respect or sufficient funds to buy himself a comforting snifter.

Worst of all, his deadly enemy Salazar (Javier Bardem) is liberated from a living death as an underwater zombie pirate and determined to take his revenge. Just to add a fresher, younger element to the story, we have Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner, Will’s dashing, naive son who is seeking to lift the curse that has doomed his father to an eternity of exile in the depths of the ocean.

Kaya Scodelario proves to be good fun as Carina Smyth, a feisty astronomer and pioneering woman of science who is constantly accused of being a witch. She is trying to make sense of her family tree in a storyline that connects to another major character in the series. She is also the butt of most of the saucier dialogue exchanges.

The many faces of Johnny Depp

Thu, June 9, 2016

Johnny Depp is arguably one of the greatest actors around today. From the numerous Tim Burton films to Disney pirates, to singing and slaying, Depp has basically done it all. So, who and what has he been?

“I’m a horologist,” she proudly proclaims before someone inevitably replies: “There’s no shame in that. My mother also worked the streets.” The Carry On spirit lives on. Salazar’s Revenge barely pauses for breath as everyone hares around in search of the fabled Trident Of Poseidon, an object with the power to break Sall the curses afflicting the cast and more.

It often feels like one long chase but the special effects are impressive and the film makes the most of its classy, Oscar-winning cast. Oozing black ink from every pore and the sea rotting his skin before our very eyes, Bardem makes for an entertaining villain while Geoffrey Rush’s increasingly hirsute Captain Hector Barbossa looks more and more like the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard Of Oz. Salazar’s Revenge is fast and funny and makes an undemanding romp for a bank holiday family outing.

The Other Side Of Hope (Cert 12A; 100mins)

Deadpan humour and tender-hearted emotion make for perfect bedfellows in The Other Side Of Hope, a bittersweet gem from veteran film-maker Aki Kaurismäki. Fleeing from war-torn Syria, Khaled (Sherwan Haji) arrives in Helsinki and immediately applies for asylum. “Welcome,” says a dour cop.

“You are not the first.” Naive hopes of a brighter future are gradually worn down as Khaled becomes a hapless victim of state bureaucracy. In a second storyline, we meet travelling salesman Wikström (Sakari Kuosmanen) who is desperately seeking his own fresh start. He leaves his wife, sells his business and becomes the proud new owner of the Golden Pint restaurant.

The two men seem to be heading in opposite directions but when they finally meet it is the start of a beautiful friendship in which the different plot elements start to come together. Very funny in places and looking an absolute treat, The Other Side Of Hope questions our attitudes to refugees, salutes the kindness of strangers and becomes an ode to the power of compassion to change all our lives.

VERDICT: 4/5

I Am Not Madame Bovary (Cert 12A; 139mins) A

modest divorce case escalates into a quest for justice in I Am Not Madame Bovary, a Chinese drama that has the epic feel of a Dickens novel. Lian (Fan Bingbing) and her husband Qin Yuhe (Li Zonghan) have divorced to meet the requirements for better housing. The plan is to secure their desired apartment then remarry. But after the divorce Qin Yuhe marries another woman, leaving Lian fuming and determined to seek an annulment of the fake divorce so she can pursue a real divorce.

Considered a silly inconvenience by the authorities and dubbed a scarlet woman by her husband, Lian grows more tenacious over the years, taking her case to the People’s Congress in Beijing. The film offers a sly assault on the bureaucracy and hypocrisy of a China where protecting your status is more important than anything. The real tragedy of Lian is her belief that such a system could ever give her justice.

VERDICT: 4/5

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If you like Roger Allam, then you might look kindly upon The Hippopotamus

The Red Turtle (Cert PG; 81mins) The Red Turtle is not your average animated feature.

Graceful, delicate and whimsical, it seems worlds away from the frantic, multi-coloured offerings too often dished out as family entertainment. Hand-drawn in beautiful colours, it tells the story of a man shipwrecked on a deserted tropical island. Lonely and desperate to escape, his efforts are thwarted by a giant red turtle. The battle of wills between man and beast gives way to a more thoughtful fable full of concerns about the fate of the planet and the special bond between humans and the natural world. Refreshingly different and highly recommended, especially if you have ever watched in awe as David Attenborough explains our wonderful world.

VERDICT: 4/5

It Was 50 Years Ago Today! (Cert 12A; 119mins)

Half a century after the release of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, It Was 50 Years Ago Today! celebrates The Beatles in their prime. It is a nostalgic affair with some lovely archive footage but it doesn’t include any tracks from the album or fresh interviews with Paul McCartney or Ringo Starr. You expect more than TV interviews, expert analysis and screaming fans from a film that runs close to two hours. Instead, journalists and writers provide their insights into what made the band so special, what prompted them to stop touring and why Sgt Pepper remains such a pioneering, influential music landmark. If nothing else, it makes you want to listen to the whole album all over again.

VERDICT: 3/5

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS (Cert 15; 89mins)

If you like Roger Allam, then you might look kindly upon The Hippopotamus. He is easily the best thing in this heavy-handed adaptation of Stephen Fry’s 1994 novel. Allam, right, plays Ted Wallace, a failed poet-turned-embittered critic who vents his spleen on every piece of dull, second-rate theatre that dares to crawl past his jaundiced eyes.

His drunken, boorish outbursts from the stalls during a performance of Titus Andronicus are the final straw and lead to his sacking. In desperate need of readies, he jumps at an invitation to visit Swafford Hall, the country estate of his dear old chum Michael Logan (Matthew Modine). Ted’s godson is said to be effecting miracle health cures and Ted is asked to investigate.

The stage is set for a laboured blend of Agatha Christie-style sleuthing and PG Wodehouse-style country house high jinks that feels very dated. The excessive use of voice-over narration drags the fi lm down and leaves Allam’s withering insults and blithe spirit as the one saving grace.