Saturday, September 14, 2013

***P C Disclaimer***I do not mean to offend anyone ever at all but it may happen sooooo,If you live in a trailer park, like trailer parks or aspire to live in a trailer park one day I am sorry if I offend you. But hey, trailer parks are just funny in general aren't they?

All you mothers out there, have you met your mama bear? She comes in handy. She is the one that comes running when your kid needs help and you don't have time to think and this is a good thing. She can save your kid's life, spare them pain, keep them from getting hurt or taken advantage of. Just as nature intended, MB is an evolutionary masterpiece, oh crap did I just offend creationists with my use of the word evolutionary? There is no way to be expressive and mildly humerous without offending someone . . .

See how annoying it is to be a people-pleaser? Just saying that makes me want to throw up a little bit or atleast do the gag me sign like I frequently do to my kids when they tell me what stupid cutesy thing some pre teen snotty pants said at school that hurt their feelings that day. People pleasing is for the birds and as I am now in my forties I am thankfully starting to leave it behind but its still hangs around and pops up now and then. Hey guess what? My momma was right when she said over and over to me as I grew up "Everybody doesn't have to like you Bonnie." True mom and I am sure they do not. But seriously, I am not that bad am I? (crickets)

So I woke up angry and that is unusual for me. I am more of a morning person, coffee helps, but I have always been able to pop up with somewhat of a smile. When I woke up I remembered the dream I just had and it involved a mish mash of events surrounding my daughters at school this week. Aformentioned pre teen snotty pants (PTSP from here out) had done something oh btw there are quite a few of them, and it hurt one of my girls as she often gets hurt by kids that don't understand her unique personality. So I start daydreaming about what I would do and say if only it wouldn't get me arrested. You can't tell off PTSP because it would get you in a heap of trouble. I discovered what my mama bear wanted to do, what she always wants to do involves the bubbling up of just under the surface trailer park- potty mouth, uneducated venomous spew. I never let her out of the cage so she gets p***ed off. But she is most definitely nasty.

I have dreamed of unleashing her on a teacher or coach here and there but having been a teacher and coach and actually on the receiving end of a REAL LIVE TRASHY momma bear or two, I relent. It doesn't feel good. It isn't Christian. It's tacky and hurtful to people who may or may not deserve it. Make no mistake - she is there inside most of us and she is a bit of a redneck even though I grew up in the suburbs of ATL. I am so grateful to have kind-hearted kids, no they are far from perfect but they would never ever intentionally set someone else up to look foolish in front of her classmates. I know this for a fact because I made it a point to teach them this, you have to.

Hey, have a great weekend people. I will tuck my MB back in her cage and lock her up tight once again. Probably she will get unleashed on some poor sweet nurse next time I am under anesthesia. Gotta let her vent sometimes right?

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I have been reading a lot lately. That is not an earth-shattering revelation, I realize. I have been reading a lot about my faith and history and politics (OK just a little here) and religion in general, the Bible, family history all kinds of things really. I felt like I need a kick in the grow-up-improve-yourself-learn-more-about-the world you live in and what you believe pants. I got tired of trying to find the hyphen key (you know how I hate that key.) I also think I have just been away from education too long. I loved college and loved teaching (not necessarily BEING a teacher, just the actual teaching part which is about 20% of the job.)

So you know how it is when you get to reading this kind of stuff and you think, I should be doing that! or why am I not good at that? And then you're like- crap I stink at everything I have ever done, said or attempted to do or say and I need to just scrap my whole personality and start over. . . such is the dangers of the Internet, pinterest, books, etc. Deep breath.

I read people's blogs with their flowery articulate prose and think . . . I say things like crap on my blog, no one is ever going to accuse me of being a literary genius. Still, I have something to offer its just written in more of a layman's style. So I was thinking about prayer and how I always pray but my prayers are like those little annoying ketchup packets - I just tear and squirt over and over all day. Pretty shallow shout outs to the Almighty about whatever is on my frontal lobe at the moment. No time for depth. I can't wax poetic to the creator of the universe for several reasons :

1. Nothing I say is going to impress him as far as beautiful language goes - remember he made well, everything so seriously, He is not impressed by big words.

2. I am beginning to think my daughter inherited her ADD from me - I can't keep one train of thought for more than a few seconds. I can't cross a room with one task in mind without detouring at the first sight of another task and then arrive on other side of room with it still in my brain. Now, what was I saying?

3. He already knows what I am thinking so I don't want to bore Him with redundancy. Yes that makes me thoughtful doesn't it? I know some of you keep a prayer list and we tend to ask about the same things over and over so I tend to say "Refer to list - thanks Amen" if I am in a super hurry.

SIDE NOTE: Don't you moms agree that the invention of those new super-sized ketchup packets at places like CFA are a God-send? No pun intended. You know what I mean if you have small children who like healthy things like french fries - no I never would feed my babies such a thing ahem. I meant all you who do let your kids eat them and they aren't able to get the packets torn with their chubby small fingers so you have to do it like 15 times before you can eat your own fries which are now cold and soggy (but you eat them anyway for some weird reason.) The big packets are the BOMB!

I guess my point in all this rambling is to encourage you, myself and anyone who has ever wondered about praying or felt guilty for not praying enough or with the right words. He doesn't even need words, just a nod in his direction, just an acknowledgement of His greatness and your feebleness, just a connection that lets you both know that your relationship is important and your connection is still there. I hate to admit this but sometimes when things are going weirdly wrong , which they often do at this house, I just turn my eyes up and say "seriously?" I think that is a prayer that might give Him a chuckle. I have to believe the Lord has the best sense of humor of all.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Ok so I know I have publicly declared that I don't like complainers a time or two and this will make me look a bit hypocritical but so be it - its my turn. You see I keep most of my complaints building up and up because no matter what you have to say - no one really cares about what irritates you so there is little sense in unloading it on even the most sympathetic friend.

However, It is January 30th and as far as I am concerned we are in the armpit of winter, my least favorite, most gloomy, farthest away from summer and holidays part of the year and well I pretty much hate it. So from here on out I vow to unleash my complaints upon the world every January 30th. I mean you can't even say at least tomorrow is a new month because there is yet another day in January to endure! Sheesh!

So be forewarned my litany follows:

I can't stand:

1. Drivers who can't stay in their own fricken fracken lane - they drift from side to side and try to take what is yours. Stay in your lane dude!!

2. Gray days that are humid and go on forever in JANUARY.

3. When I buy a two liter of a diet soda and its already flat as soon as I open it. Everyone knows diet sodas are only good because the extra carbonation burns your eyes when you drink it and distracts you from the fact that they taste pretty crappy and are chock full of chemicals.

4. email addresses that use the underscore key. I mean wth? Its hard to find and hard to use and you always end up hitting the hyphen key first because you can't tell the difference between the two!

6. elementary school homework assignments that make me feel dumb when I am trying to help my kids. Bring me the high school stuff PLEASE!

7. Blog posts that contain to many exclamation points!!!!!! Not everything is worthy of that much excitement!!!

8. People who like to rub their youth and athletic ability in your face who are in their 20's and like to do toe touches in your cardio class. So WHAT LADY!? WHEN YOU ARE 41 AND SOMEONE DOES THAT IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE THE CLASS AND MAYBE BURN OFF A CHEESEBURGER - IT WILL P$$ YOU OFF TOO. I would say I can't wait for the day but by then I will be in my 60's so lets not rush things.

9. Women who over accessorize - you are trying too hard.

10. Lazy people- and whiny children.

11. Children with bad manners.

12. Kids in the neighborhood who are mean to my kids (and also have bad manners.)

13. Adults with bad manners - please quit picking at your arm acne in front of me or I will hurl. Also, if you and I are trying to get to the same door at the same time - the person coming OUT of the building should go first but in general I step aside no matter which direction I am headed.

14. People who let their kids play with tablets and nintendoes in church?! Does that make me judgmental??? Don't come whining about why your kids don't go to church anymore as teenagers or adults if you do this.

15. People who whine about their awesome healthy typical children. Kids are annoying to every parent at some point but some people have actual real problems with their children like depression, drug problems, ADHD, autism or physical handicaps and those parents tend to handle day to day life better with bigger problems to deal with. Perspective - look it up.

16. People who go to work sick and cough all over everyone - STAY HOME you are not so important that the world will not run without you there for a couple days.

17. People who see you heading for the short lane at check out and then walk faster to get there before you - seriously??

18. When neighbor kids come over and smush their dirty hands and faces on the windows in the door that you spent 30 minutes cleaning today.

19. Blobs of toothpaste on the sink. Wipe. It. UP.

20. Drawers that are halfway shut with a piece of a t shirt hanging out.

21. skinny people who dont work out

22. When my kids suddenly realize I am not in the same room with them and must find me for no reason, no matter where I am in the house, including the bathroom.

23. People who stand at the only Redbox kiosk and scroll through for 10 minutes trying to decide what they want when there is an obvious line forming. Just flippin pick something man.

I must quit. I must quit. I need a drink. Have a super sparkly day y'all :)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Hey there. I am writing this post as a therapeutic count backwards from one hundred so I don't do something stupid post. Today took the cake. My Doodle does irrational things and tends to be destructive for no apparent reason. Especially to items she loves. She will shred her favorite books and take handles off drawers, throw pillows off couches and beds along with blankets or any item she considers out of place in the universe. There is no rhyme or reason. She just does it. Sometimes its funny and sometimes it really p*s*es me OFF. Today is such a day. So here in no particular order is a list of things she has broken in my home:

1. her favorite books
2. her favorite DVD's
3. All the remote controls in the house.
4. All the Wii remotes
5. The microwave
6. my lap top
7. her lap top
8. the lap top before that
9. the lap top before that (we buy surplus computers from the public school system for this reason.)
10. my kindle fire
11. my kindle fire before that
12. My 3rd Kindle Fire which she THREW OUT THE CAR WINDOW TODAY WHILE I WAS DRIVING. Yes, it was smashed to smithereens.
13. All the blinds in my bedroom. She snaps the ends off and breaks the rods.
14. She throws forks, spoons and my good china in the garbage can and often I don't notice till the garbage is gone.
15. She throws food waiting to be eaten in the trash like pizza or dinner I just cooked, even if she likes it.
16. My last camera (not my awesome new one Betty!! Its under lock and key.)

I can't explain her tendancy to do this and before you say, "Why do you let her touch those things ?" remember-
This child must be constantly entertained or she will go bizerk. Screaming, yelling, turning the tv on and off constantly. Slamming doors and flipping lights on and off even in the middle of the night. She recently threw a full kitchen size chair over the balcony into the foyer of our house. Luckily no one was hurt. She hasn't killed the dog yet but give it time.

She has a 5th grade reading level, she is in 4th grade. Has taught herself to read and has taught herself spanish. She can program the DVR like nobody's business. She can work any electronic device or app in the history of the human story. She can't however remember to go the restroom, tell me why she is mad or what she wants most of the time.

She is smart enough to know how to manipulate people into getting what she wants. Example, if she wants control of the tv she will ask you to get her some tea or milk and when you get up she steals your chair and the remote and doesn't give a hoot about the beverage you nicely brought her.

I could go on and on but that would be pointless. Anyway, I am going to write Amazon a nice letter and see if they will consider replacing my poor Kindle again. Moral of the story - Autism is expensive. No I am not going to put a PAYPAL donate now button on my blog don't worry!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Anniversaries, funerals, birthdays are all cause for self reflection. There have been lots of each around here lately. I'm not even sure where to start. For one thing I am trying to decide the direction of this blog I have been ignoring. I either need to abandon it and start fresh with a general direction-autism? multiples? faith? ugg. The problem is it started out as a sort of scrap book/ outlet for my writing and dormant humor and now it is more of a venting/ pseudo wanna be real blogger site. I have so much to say but really not a lot of expertise in the quickly expanding mom blogger world. I know what I like and those blogs have fantastic photography, my camera is just a small Kodak with a broken cord so it is currently out of commission and who wants to read posts without pics? Not many people I think. I will either continue this as a friend blog and start a new directed one or continue in my hodge podge manner. Either way I will be writing more this year as my four year old starts his very first year of preschool.

Yes we waited for several reasons:

1. He is my baby and I wasn't ready.
2. Money -unnecessary expense
3. He is smart as a firecracker and didn't need it.
4. He gets plenty of socializing time with siblings and gym nursery

I just know you were thinking that his lack of 3 year old preschool would damage his psychy and chances of getting into an Ivy League school in 13 years or so. Well fear not he is going to be fine. I always have to remind myself that it is ok to just do things differently than most people. I mean heck we already have. Even if ALL my quad mom friends are doing thus and so, that doesn't mean I am wrong if I don't. Just kidding I don't have any quad mom friends. A handful of triplets moms and twins -yes. Quads - no. We are the only ones in our county for sure and possibly the surrounding area as well.

We have had a series of untimely passings of family members and friends recently and it really makes you stop and think. I seriously will not live forever. I mean seriously. Each day is one less left in my life. Am I living it intentionally? With a direction in mind or is it a hodge podge of decisions and moments and random events not headed in any direction just like my blog has become?

I would like to think I live intentionally, not just surviving, not just reacting but evolving and focused on a goal. I need to think about this some more. I want my children's lives to be intentional as well but childhood should be for growing and learning about yourself and the world and making memories to carry with you for the rest of your life. Childhood forms a person for good or for bad, that's why its so important and I am realizing that my quads are now halfway through childhood, being 9.

(Cue scary music)

Sigh - too much for me to digest and there are no cool pics for you to look as so I will end for today. Hope you are all having a fantastic summer. Enjoy it, before you know it we will all be in Target shopping for school supplies again btw - secret about that - never buy as many things as the school list asks for. Its inflated just like everything else these days. The years I have they always bring home tons of blank notebooks and paper that was never used. Ciao!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Hey there. I wanted to share my recent experience with a lovely photographer in Loganville who happens to also be a friend of mine from church. Her name is Melissa Brown and she is fantastic to say the least. Let me tell you why I think she's special.

She took awesome candid and posed photos of my kids.

All five of them.

They are smiling.

They are cute.

She even managed to handle the three year old with relative ease.

And my daughter Pauli who has autism.

Now let me tell you something. Anyone who can get good sweet photos of a special needs kid, an ornery three year old boy, three other siblings and farm animals at the same time is a talented person.

It does take a bit of finesse to handle special needs kids and Melissa Brown has got it. Just the right amount of patience, kindness and a certain "I don't know what" (Imagine that in french, sounds cooler but I don't know how to spell it.)
Anyway, take a look if your are curious. We took these pictures at the home of Shelley Shellnutt, owner of Country Kids Camp which is super awesome as well. Thanks Shelley!! If you are interested you can find her on Facebook - Melissa (Biedron) Brown Photography. Or just send me a note and I will help you find her. P.S. You can also find Country Kid's Camp on Facebook. Have a great day