Caption Contest 8/25/08

Not sure what this one's all about, or how good of a CC it'll make, but take a stab at Mr. Hasselhoff anyways.

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

Pepsi Rider

"ABC announces new fall television program lineup!"

This morning executives from ABC Television proudly announced their fall program lineup. Network officials expressed obvious excitement with the new lineup that includes "The New Ironsides", starring Bob Newhart, "Wisteria Expressway", a light-hearted look at how progress changed a once-content neighborhood, and "Not Quite Ugly Stan", the adventures and misadventures of a group of rebelious urban planners in a typical midwestern city.

The executives beamed most proudly, though, when discussing the new David Hasselhoff series, "Pepsi Rider". Not prone to giving away too many of the exciting details, they did more than whisper descriptions of Mr. Hasselhoff's ability to bring dignity, compassion, and sobriety into the normally-mundane life of a man who rides around on a giant soda pop bottle.
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C'mon and get me you twist of fate
I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
If you want to talk well then I'll relate
If you don't so what cause you don't scare me