MEL: You mean the Cultural Preservation Facility? That was top secret back when … but I suppose you must know all about it by now.

BECCA: Not all.

SAM: Something about your old government.

BECCA: You people wasted everything. And then millions died.

SAM: Billions.

MEL: We tried. We tried very hard. It wasn’t as if we couldn’t see what was coming. The droughts, tornados, the economy going south. But it didn’t happen all at once. Then the Raccoon flu, the antibiotics were useless. The wheat crop failed two years in a row. Then came riots, cities on fire, madness. When we lost control we gathered the best — scientists, economists, engineers, architects into the CPF ….

SAM: CPF?

MEL: The Cultural Preservation Facility. The vault. The Congressional Committee selected a hundred volunteers to enter suspended animation pods to sleep through all the disasters. Wait, how long has it been?

SAM: Since when?

MEL: I mean, what year is this?

SAM: Pick one. They’re all available.

BECCA: My mom never kept a calendar. Did yours, Sam?

SAM: You met my mom.

BECCA: Right. So anyway, Mel, you decided to snooze while the world went to the dogs.

MEL: Everything was flying apart. We tried to save what we could. But something went wrong.

SAM: You think?

MEL: No, I mean in the CPF. The main power was rated for fifty years, then if nobody woke us up the backup was supposed to kick in. But for some reason, it’s only running at half power. Whole sections are shutting down. I was lucky, I just barely escaped being deactivated with my pod.. That was what … a couple of days ago? I’ve been wandering around until I got here. But what is this place? Some kind of fallout shelter?

BECCA: Shelter? Sure.

SAM: And you’re the fallout.

/SFX/ CLOCK TICKING, UNDER

(SAM and BECCA laugh)

MEL: I’m sorry. Do you want me to leave?

BECCA: Not yet.

SAM: There’s still time. See my wristwatches?

MEL: Umm, yes. (wary) I couldn’t help but notice all the watches you girls are wearing. How many is that?

BECCA: I have twelve. She has more.

SAM: Eighteen. Nine on each arm.

BECCA: You like? We’re collectors.

MEL: (still wary) Umm, lovely. (beat) I’m sorry, but like I said, I’ve been hiding from the dogs now for a couple of days and I’m starving. Have you got anything to eat?

MEL: (with mouth full) So you know about the CPF? (swallows) Does that mean you’ve seen any of the others?

BECCA: Some.

SAM: Not many.

MEL: Is there anyone else? Other survivors like you?

BECCA: Nope.

SAM: Not like us.

MEL: You can’t be serious. Where is everyone?

SAM: Dogs.

BECCA: Bad dogs.

MEL: What are you saying? That they’re all dead?

BECCA: Maybe. Sure.

SAM: Dog food.

MEL: That’s terrible. (beat) I can’t believe how quickly it all went away. Everything out there is in ruins.

SAM: Mother Nature.

BECCA: Kind of a bitch.

SAM: You pissed her off.

MEL: And it’s just you two here?

SAM: Just me and Becca.

MEL: No men?

BECCA: Ha! Five minutes!

MEL: Wait– what? Why did you just say that?

BECCA: No reason. We like to keep track of the time.

SAM: So little of it these days.

/SFX/ CLOCK TICKING

MEL: Excuse me for saying this, but you’re a little bit odd, aren’t you? I mean, the way you talk, all the watches, the Twinkies. This is going to take some getting used to. (beat) Wait, are you lesbians?

BECCA: She is. I’m just lonely.

SAM: So Mel, what were you?

MEL: Beg pardon?

SAM: If the vault was full of the best, what were you best at?

MEL: I was the Congressman from the second district in New Hampshire.

BECCA: So you selected you?

MEL: No. No, I wasn’t on the CPF committee. – I served on Judiciary but I was just starting my third term. I was pickedbecause I was single. And healthy. And young. I was first elected when I was twenty-six. I was the only politician chosen.

SAM: An over-achiever.

BECCA: Get it done!

SAM: Take charge!

MEL: I guess you could say that.

BECCA: Then we’re saved.

SAM: Mel Gibson to the rescue.

(SAM and BECCA laugh)

MEL: I wish you wouldn’t call me that. (beat) I see you have a computer.