An Homage & Call to Women In The 21st Century

For a long time I held the view that on average, women are not as capable as men. This view was based on my experience; it was what I saw around me. So many vapid women with as much substance as the reality TV stars they watched each night. But a relatively recent realization brought this view crashing to the ground: possession of two X chromosomes does not render a person less capable, but our culture does an excellent job of it.

Last year I was conversing with a gender issues expert who opened my eyes to the world from a woman’s perspective. She explained what is was like to be constantly objectified, to be treated differently because you are a woman, and what is was like to grow up with different expectations and values thanks to cultural conditioning.

This realization led me down the rabbit hole of gender (in)equality. Suddenly evidence of the ‘oversexification’ and devaluing of women was everywhere. It became no wonder so many of my female peers acted this way. What was ‘normal’ became nauseating.

As a man, I know that I can never fully comprehend this reality, but I wish to share as much as I can grasp to you, here and now.

A False Sense of Gender Equality

I’ll start off by letting Google do the talking about the cultural consensus on men and women:

Shocked? I wasn’t.

The first thing that needs to be understood is the importance of role models in a young person’s life. The most primary role models are, of course, immediate family, but beyond that lie popular culture icons. Books, TV and movies provide bigger-than-life characters whom we consciously and unconsciously mirror.

Men need not look very far to find an abundance of strong role models. Female role models of the same caliber, however, are few and far between. Most prominent female figures are worshiped for their looks, not their character or accomplishments. Even those women revered for their achievements have a strange knack for being very easy on the eyes.

Consider the plot of the vast majority of Hollywood films produced today. The male protagonist is the superhero, the brilliant writer, the CEO, the President, the secret agent. Meanwhile the female protagonist more often that not serves as eye-candy for the audience and the prize needing to be rescued for the male hero.

What This Means

The implications of this divide are ubiquitous.

Women have equally few leadership roles in the real world. As of 2011, women made up only 9 of 190 heads of state, 13% of parliamentary positions and 15% of top-level business positions internationally.

To make matters worse, we subconsciously harbor antagonism towards strong women. A recent Stanford study presented students with the biography of a successful Silicon valley investor. 50% of students were told the investor’s name was Heidi, and 50% were told it was Howard.

The results showed that students were much harsher on Heidi than on Howard across the board. Although they think she’s just as competent and effective as Howard, they don’t like her, they wouldn’t hire her, and they wouldn’t want to work with her. As gender researchers would predict, this seems to be driven by how much they disliked Heidi’s aggressive personality. The more assertive they thought Heidi was, the more harshly they judged her (but the same was not true for those who rated Howard).

Women are even lacking a voice in the media. The following infographic shows how little major news channels value the opinion of women, even concerning women’s issues:

But Things Are Changing…

Women’s rights and empowerment have certainly come a long way in the past century. The evidence is everywhere, even in the plots of Disney movies…

If you want to see this big jump firsthand, watch the trailer for Snow White (For Christ’s sake, the entire plot hinges on the line, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?’) followed by the trailer for Brave.

To the Women of the World…

You are doing a fantastic job of living out your potential in spite of this bullshit. Our culture has told you that you are ‘equal’ while slamming you from every direction with reason to believe that you are not.

But the world needs more from you now than ever. Centuries of patriarchal domination has left this world on the brink of destruction. At the very least we need a balance between the masculine and the feminine.

To my (and Layar’s) opinion, modern leadership has a lot of feminine elements. It is not so much about power, control, top-down thinking and ego, but much more about inclusiveness, intuition, the will to move ahead, looking for win-win (for both parties) rather than ‘I win, you lose’.

Claire Boonstra

So my message to you is, KEEP GOING!!! Men don’t like to admit they need directions, let alone a surge in feminine leadership, so don’t look to us for to call for change. Be that change.

If we have the courage to accept that our current crises afford us the opportunity to do things differently, if we recognize the value of women’s leadership power and enlist women as partners in the redesign and reconstruction of broken systems, we can activate a global reset that accrues to the benefit of our shared global community.

I’m not a woman, so I feel somewhat strange handing out advice here. However I do feel these steps would be helpful in overcoming the social conditioning already discussed:

1) Become aware and share

The first step to any change is become aware of the need for it. Beyond reading this article, look out for evidence of this epidemic in TV, movies, and your real life interactions with both men and women. Go a step further and share this realization with those around you.

2) Drop unhealthy role models and adopt new ones

Stop taking in media that gives the spotlight to poor role models. Instead, spend that building up what should have always been yours: a healthy sense of self-worth. Watch TED talks from badass women, research those who are pioneers in their fields. Do anything and everything find new role models to emulate.

3) Stand up in situations where gender inequality is occurring

This one goes without saying. Be a beacon of the change you wish to see in the world. Don’t be afraid to be vocal with friends, family and strangers. Awareness starts with you.

4) Figure out what you can do to help the world

Think about what you can do for others as a strong woman. What issues could benefit from your feminine touch? The world needs you now more than ever.

To The Men of the World…

This issue goes both ways. We are taught from day one what it is to be masculine, and how women should be viewed and treated. Thus we must play an equal role in reversing that conditioning.

1) Take a walk in someone else’s high-heels (metaphorically!)

2) Be Conscious of Your Interactions with Women

Notice the subtleties of the way you talk and treat women, while also noticing how they interact with you. If you see something you don’t agree with, be vocal about it — whether it’s your action or that of a female friend. Call attention to the bullshit.

3) Become a Loud Advocate for Women

Other men are far more likely to take your words into consideration than a woman’s. Make feminism cool. One thing is for sure: this certainly won’t hurt your chances with the ladies.

In Conclusion…

Thank you for reading this article. This is not an easy topic to broach for men or women because it calls into question so many basic assumptions. You’re awesome just for considering it, let alone following the steps laid out above. Keep fighting the good fight :) Much love.

Hey, I'm the creator of HighExistence. I love inspiring others to follow their bliss, which in turn fulfills my own. I live for traveling, late-night conversations and moments of intense clarity or intoxication. I also run a company that sells crazy shirts and rave clothing :)

Thanks for writing this! I always appreciate attempts to alert others to the inequalities within the sex and gender binaries. I personally don’t believe these binaries really exist in nature, and that they are pure social construction. It would be nice to see them deconstructed for a change. My only real problem with this article is that you didn’t mention how much inequality there is towards men within this system. You guys get just as screwed over by the system as we women do! Hopefully someday just as much attention will be paid to men’s issues as women’s issues. We are all human, and we’re all in this together. =)

I hear this quite a bit and my answer is that most of the negativity surrounding feminism comes from patriarchy. Feminism makes many uncomfortable as they feel its undermining them. Many of the negative ideas about feminism are simply untrue (see man hating, bra burning and trying to cancle fathers day) there are a lot of trolls out there who simply make up stuff while pretending to be feminists. Feminism is about equality yes, butt its is about more than that its about women. Women need a space to discuss their issues one of them is equality but there is more to it than that. In a world that is and has been dominated by men, male only space and male narratives women need a place to have theirs. Many seem to think this is at the expense of men but I think this fear just comes from a fear of women having something that is just theirs. Really is you think about it how threatening to men to have women talking about women. Also should we really be trying to change the name of a movement that has had its name blackened by the insecurities of some men?

My thoughts and reflections for some time now have been related to the way women feel competition among them. I am convinced about the power of the feminine and I am also convinced certain beliefs have been inserted in our cultural ADN just because of our own power -that will be heightened as we get united instead of separated for such low vibrations as envy or competition. Competition because of men liking us, because of how much attention we can get vs other, because of how talented we can be in comparison to other , just to mention some instances… To stay heart centered, to recognize every single human being is unique and beautiful and contributes to oneness, to recognize that, we, women are powerful beyond measure. We can understand the cycle of Live through our moon cycles, and the earth changes through the blessing of giving birth… To recognize that men are our brothers, and we are here to work together as a human race walking towards a brighter dawn for humankind.

Men are objectified too. They are expected to be those superheros and all the other masculine characteristics, and are looked down upon as much as women when they fail at their own genders expectations. I agree with much of this article but as a woman, acknowledge that men don’t got it as easy as we think they do.

Jordan, I normally agree with most things you write about…this time I don’t.

The glass ceiling is a myth. Women get paid just as much as men these days.

Also, look in nature. Balance does not come from both sexes being powerful and dominating. They each play their roles. Males provide and protect. Females nurture the offspring. Males generally dominate because of size. Because they are bigger, domination happens naturally. Thus it is silly to complain about “chauvinistic domination”. If you dominate someone/something, you will most likely look down upon it.

Lots of women might say they are feminist, but I am willing to bet that on a date, they would not mind if the guy to pay for food/drinks/movies, which just reinforces the idea that women are “weaker” and need support. And it’s not because they have no money because they cant get a job.

Finally, yin and yang. They are opposites for a reason. You cannot make them equal or similar. They play their opposing roles naturally.

Do you also believe that human beings should live in the woods? Do you believe that we should not cook our meat? Do you believe that should you, the male, have a taste for meat then it is acceptable for you to snack on your children? Because if you want to go the “nature” route, then that is what you are implying.

In addition, the reason that boys have excelled in math and science and girls have excelled in English is based almost totally on the way boys and girls are raised. Boys are raised with the expectation that they will be great and get a fantastic job. They do not doubt for the most part that they will, because this is what they have been taught.

Girls, on the other hand, are raised to be nice and to be social and to take care of people. They are taught from a young age to be “mommy” figures. Because of the inherent expectation that their happiness will always rely on other people, they are trained to be great communicators. Thus, better at English. And those roles are changing as parenting styles change. Recent studies have proved it.

Bigger things do not have to dominate over smaller things. Again, this goes back to your nature argument. Plus, I would like to believe that we as humans have evolved past all of that misogynistic bullshit. As a woman, I expect you to listen to me, respect me, don’t assume that all I want it to suck your dick, and to realize that I am a person just like you.

People are people. Genitals play zero role in that truth. I would love to go one day without someone thinking I am easy to manipulate because I am female. I would love it if the next time I made a valid argument in my Computer Science class full of almost all men that I would not get ignored.

And about the paying for things. I believe that it should be equal. And you have the right to ask before dinner “Would you mind going Dutch?”. I am pretty sure that a reasonable woman will not leave you if you asked that. My boyfriend and I always split and if we don’t we do something to make up for it. He respects me totally and I respect him totally and there is no “leader” role in our relationship. And no, that does not make him more womanly. It makes him a rational human being.

“But the world needs more from you now than ever. Centuries of patriarchal domination has left this world on the brink of destruction. At the very least we need a balance between the masculine and the feminine.”

I don’t how guys paying for dates is relevant to this article. Or alimony. I think you’re missing the point.

And the glass ceiling is not a myth. Look at any recent study or the statistics in this article. But my position was more focused on the hidden factors that contribute to the ‘glass ceiling’, not the idea of people favoring men over women.

You’re right, you didn’t advocate that, however, my point is that since it is natural for males to dominate, it is natural for females to be submissive.

It’s relevant because guys paying for dates indicates that society allows women to have an image of not being able to support themselves. If feminists want females to take on more positions of power why dont they start paying for their own dinner? Nothing is stopping them from making money. Alimony is also relevant as I’m saying i think the reality is actually the opposite than what you are saying in the article, and men everywhere let women control their life.

I don’t think leadership has any feminine qualities.

Men by nature are creators and builders. Nearly everything in history was built by men. I challenge you to name something off the top of your head that a woman invented that you use everyday, not as proof that “men are better”, but proof that if women inherently have so much power that is being held back by others, it would show. They can’t blame others.

The same men that support feminism are not attractive to females, and fall victim to putting the “pussy on the pedestal”.

A woman invented the windshield wipers on cars. For most of us this isn’t a daily use, but you have to admit, driving really would be impossible without them on rainy days. In any case, I appreciate that you think there needs to be a balance, and I’d say you are correct in that. However, what is “natural” is never a pure binary, as you suggest. As a woman and a human being, yes, I would like a man to pay for things now and then, if I were in fact dating a man. Ideally, it should be split evenly between both people in the relationship, regardless of the genders of those people. Women are just as guilty of perpetuating the system as men are. But I think you will find, if you broaden your horizons, that there are very strong masculine women, as well as very weak and feminine women, and the same goes for men. Nature is never just black and white. To go with your ying and yang example, I think you should try harder not to see just their opposites, but also see their curve in relation to one another, and how one is also inside and a part of the other. Think about that metaphor for awhile, and maybe you’ll reach a more revised opinion on the way the world works.

You started your comments off with a false statement. Today, for every 1 dollar a man makes a woman with the same experience and education makes 75 cents.

I agree that women and men are different and generally predispositioned for different skills and we should embrace that. That’s the major change from second to third wave feminism, embracing feminine qualities rather than expecting women to adopt male ones. But if a woman wants to be a surgeon she should be paid as much as a male surgeon.

The “support” a woman might need is a construct of a society. Women aren’t expected to make as much money, men are expected to support their families, that leads employers to give their male employees higher wages thinking “well they need to support their kids…” as if women don’t.

None of the divorced women I know get alimony, I guess the ones you know had good lawyers. But its another construct of society. If women were paid equally, there would be an expectation for them to support themselves, we wouldn’t need, or think we need, alimony.

You also seem to be complaining about alimony, but not paying restaurant bills? Society used to be constructed so that women were completely beholden to men for income. Better not piss of your husband or else you’ll be out on the street. It put all the power in the husbands/fathers’ hands. Alimony saved women who, one way or another, fell out of a marriage and had no other way of supporting themselves. Its being used less and less and one day might not exist, but if your going to pay for your girlfriend’s dinner and encourage your wife not to work so she can watch the kids, expect to pay your ex-wife some alimony.

I just think there are a minority of people that like to play the roles in the opposite ways… some men like being dominated and some women like to dominate the relationship. I think everybody deserves respect in their choice.

Forgot to mention the fact that Alimony still exists, and I could literally list you more than 10 examples through friends, family and relatives, of the wife cheating (i dont believe in monogamy anyway) and the husband having to pay alimony til the day he dies.

AND the fact that women have more estrogen and earlier, while men have less testosterone and more estrogen, because of food, plastics, and products that we all use. masculinity which is necessary just as much as femininity is disappearing.

Allow me to say thank you for your insight and research. You have a very unique way of expressing your ideas, talking candidly -yet, well documented- and reaching people’s perceptions. Thank you for that! Have been a blast.

I noticed a bit of Nature being presented as contrary argument in the replies. Perhaps, I can shed a tad of higher Understanding in this regard:

1. There is no Life without Female in this realm. They produce the vehicles to get around here, and contrary to popular science, the added DNA structure of male is actually unnecessary to fine design of bod & brain…However, that little chromosome makes for enhanced connection to be continued, which is it’s true purpose in Life here. (Those exploring A-sexual genetics understand the ‘potency’ of this fact.) 2. Male in Nature is as front-line warning & defense of Life being protected by Female. Most efficient, well-being run societies of Nature are guided, not ruled, by an Alpha Female, supported & maintained by Male & Female alike…It is Team effort…aka. Family. However, in survival mode, what Alpha says/does is as law & unquestioned in followship. A paradigm that obviously works well, because these types of societies have long-been strong, healthy, & fruitful thusfar…Those compromised by human-kind are re-emerging quickly & with wisdom gained of their on-slaughts. 3. Male & Female are not simply body vehicle structures…They are essences of beingness. Structure is simply a way to Understand the ‘Trinity of Nature’…one + one = ONE. Human seems to be the only specie that finds difficulty in such Math. But, this is only an ego block, which, btw, is a Male-borne, fear-oriented ideology. Funny that Male in human form shows such talent in mathematics otherwise. 4. Nature is a He/She/It/All connection. Transformation & Change are continuums. Wisdom is the only constant. 5. “It’s All Good!”…Such is Nature’s motto. “Freedom”…It’s grandest expression of beingness.

Anywhosits…Just observes with a morsel of knowing thrown in there. Take what rings true, and simply leave the rest…no worries. :) Stuff is shifting/changing, as usual…Blessings in the Amazing produced…Always & All ways! <3

As much as I agree and respect the effort, as little do I get the means. We bring up girls to see themselves as victims rather than as handlers. The reason men become handlers (to the extent they do) is because in this culture there’s no room for a man to sit down and feel sorry for himself, this forces him to grow strong and learn to handle situations – and though it’s tough it’s a quite useful thing for him and his future girlfriends, and women are cheated out of this possibility of growth. To do the exact opposite to women, that is to call them victims and relieve them of any and all personal responsibility for the growth of their consciousness and personality, which basically is what this article does, is in the humble opinion of yours truly to retain women in the consciousness of self-victimization. (Exactly like when you lie to your girlfriend about the size of her ass, you retain her in a state of obesity, and that is unethical to do to her. (even though she wants you to lie) the second you retain her you’re an accomplice to her fat ass )

Shortly put, this article is so full of stuff women wanna hear, but may not need to hear, as they like the rest of us are prone to wanna use to shirk the responsibility. Actually the way you talk about them (not that I disagree with what you say) is pretty male-chauvinist when closer examined, as you basically describe them as victims of culture with no awareness to make up their own damned minds, to take responsibility for their own personalities.

A leader-position is worth nothing when it was given to you based on politics rather than merit.

Al that aside. To even measure gender equality in as poor and perverted terms as ‘money and power’ is so medieval that I, if I was a woman, would be highly offended. WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ‘ENLIGHTENMENT AND TRANSCENDENCE’ friends? ‘Enlightenment and transcendence’ reveals to us that ‘money and power’ are dark ego infested traps of the personality, and now we wanna give this as a present to all the suppressed women – what a perverted form of respect to show them.

I enjoyed this article until the last paragraph. Being feminist will increase you chances with the ladies? Isnt this just going back tto the women as prizes concept a bit, a shame when you have written so eloquently against that idea. How about men you should embrace feminism because to be a worthy partner to a woman you should care about her rights and they ways she is treated and portrayed in society? Or you should embrace it because you should care about the rights of some of the most awesome and important people in your life: your mothers, your sisters, your best friends, your girlfriends, your wives and your daughters. They love and support you so love and support them back! :)

i’m noticing sexism everywhere, and it makes me downright resentful. i meet it with a loving attitude when i have to time to sit down and meditate, ’cause i don’t want to be an angry feminist lol. but i used to not notice it at all, i think to some degree i had a bit of internalized sexism. if you can’t beat em, join em, my tomboyness allowed me to be slightly sexist along with the dudes. but holy CRAP is that just all wrong! i get mad when people even say a racist joke. it’s just stupid. racism and sexism are for unintelligent, un-empathic people who don’t know squat about what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. also they’re very bad at writing jokes. :)

I am a woman and i view the concept of feminism a bit differently. Men and women ARE genetically different. Speaking for the majority of the population, men ARE physically stronger and operate on an emotional scale much lower then that of women. Of course there are exceptions but this is me generalizing. They are also more aggressive and more egotistical. These are just genetic facts that have been scientifically proven. What I am trying to point out is that what women sometimes fail to understand is NOT HAVING THESE QUALITIES DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A PERSON AND HAVING THESE QUALITIES DOES NOT MAKE YOU SUPERIOR. YOU ARE JUST DIFFERENT. Once you embrace those feminine qualities you possess and are truly proud of them then you will gain the respect you deserve, whether it be in the work environment, in the home or in any aspect of society. You have to respect yourself for others to respect you. WOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY BEAUTIFUL, MORE EMOTIONALLY CONCSIOUS, SELECTIVE, DETAIL ORIENTED and the list goes on and on…(again i am just generalizing). so ladies flaunt your femininity and be proud of it:)

I just skimmed the comments so it’s possible someone already mentioned this but there actually is an event called “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes.” So, men, if you want to go beyond metaphoric this is a great way to do it. The organizations goal is to stop gender abuse. Here’s the link for those of you who are interested.http://www.walkamileinhershoes.org/

Great post! Thanks! I’ve just got to say that a huge peeve of mine is when being in social situations and talking within a group of people, it is so common for other guys in a circle to only speak towards other guys, and sometimes avoid eye contact with me altogether. This is especially the case if my boyfriend is included in the circle as well. I don’t like being viewed as “belonging” to someone else. Hey, I’m an individual, treat me as such! I’ve always been a very independent person and like to speak my mind, so this just irks the hell outta me. But, it does make it extremely easy to see which people I’d rather not hang out with anyway!

I don’t think Western society is as chauvinist as you mention. For example, when you about the super hero movies, it’s obvious that the female character will be always a prize and side role, because this films are mostly made for men! lol In films essentially made for women the male character is also a side role and a prize! Exp. Sex and the City, Bridesmaid, Bridget Jones Diary, Titanic, etc.

I wonder if people will start to notice that women and men are not the same, but being stupid and shallow has nothing to do with being a woman… And taking care of yourself has nothing to do with being a sexual object.

I am a woman, I like wearing make up, taking care of my hair and health, watch chick flicks, wearing high heels, and all this other cliche female things. I want my boyfriend to be always the head of the relationship, to be stronger than me, pay the bills in the restaurant, etc. Does that make me stupid?

I think it’s a part to be intelligent appreciating who you are. I love Marilyn Monroe and her quote: “I’m a woman and I enjoy!” … That’s it!

I don’t want to be like a man… I don’t want to have a position in the army, wear short hair, play football or rugby, learn martial arts, etc. I don’t think this makes anyone superior! I think it’s important to respect all women that want all of that, as much as important to respect the women like me: that like being feminine!

There were thousands of years of human existence, which developed such ways in society… Men as the head and women that loving and caring side of the pair. Then suddenly people decided that this is all wrong? It makes no sense!

In the end, it’s a fact that the majority of men are better with strength and calculation, but women are much better with communication and entertainment. There is importance in both sides and there is no reason for women to wish being like men.

The point of feminism is not to turn women into men. Quite the contrary. It is that women and men are total equals in the minds of everyone. I believe that you are really misguided on this point.

You seem to believe that because it has always been that women are “the caring side of the pair” that that is how it should be. I could not disagree with you more. I believe that men and women should both be caring. They should both work hard. They should both be the head. Gender roles are so restraining. All they do is make people believe they cannot achieve their potential, so why try? This goes for men too. Men are told they have to have sex to be happy and they have to be pictures of fitness to be “a real man” (on a side note, I HATE that term. “real men” and “real women” are not all there is. There is such thing as the term “people”. Use it. Love it, Get a tattoo of it. Everyone is a person as far as I know. There is no way to be an artificial person. So grouping men and women into real or not real is asinine). Men are fed the line of bullshit that they have to be the protector and the sole head of a household. That is not true.

Basically, my wish is that the world not be broken into men and women. Just people. Genitals have nothing to do with one’s worth as a human being and one’s potential and one’s worthiness. Everyone is worthy.

It is totally fine if a woman wants to wear makeup and dress in girly clothes. The point of feminism is not to change women into men. It is to celebrate and work towards the goal of making everyone equal in the media and in people’s minds. By this, I mean that a man should be able to wear makeup if he so chooses. A woman should be able to use Axe if she so chooses. And yes, technically those things are legal, but most people out their would not go near someone who so blatantly defies stereotypes. This is a flaw in our system that needs changed. People are people no matter what they are into and how they like to present themselves.

The biggest issue I have with this comment is the overall tone I am getting. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like you believe that women should want to be their husband’s side partner and that men should want to be a stereotypical manly man. I don’t hate people who are those things, but the expectation that everyone should want those things is flawed. Some women like women. Some men like men. Some biological females are actually males and vice versa. These are people who could not fall into these groups.

Our system recognizes only a minute amount of the people on this planet because of some eliminating factor or factors. I advise you to stop grouping people and just live your life. Do what makes you happy, but don’t expect that to be what makes everyone else happy. And don’t get offended when someone else’s version of happiness isn’t yours.

I personally hate the way this society views women. Objectification towards any other living thing is fucked up and any one that is guilty of doing it needs a little redirective tete e tete. its also sad how all these “roll mode” popstars are targeting young girls and twisting their views of sexuality and discipline. For example, (I’m not trying to offend you if you let your kids listen to pop music) Lady GaGa, Madonna, and all other female pop stars in the music industry are just puppets, pawns used by the industry to destroy our moral values, and to instill their values. Their values of being a “dumb ho” or a “material girl”. Any one with a working set of eyes should be smart enough to keep the toddlers away from toxic pop music. I am honestly shocked and appalled by all my aunts and uncles letting their 3-7 year old children get sucked into the plastic pop culture garbage, but when i say anything to them theyre usually respond with something in the tune of “its just pop music, its what i was raised on!”. makes me rage on so many levels. And did anyone else notice how its okay for minors to dress like total tramps now? when i go to the mall and see all these young teenage girls with their tits and ass checks hanging out I honestly feel sad that they have to get attention through such a primal, animalistic fashion statement. I guess that’s babylon for ya. -_-”

It was simply transforming to have a male say, in such a comprehensive way, “I know; I see.” Years of denied anger rose up, and then dissapated. The article was a lot to take in at one time when I’ve only heard/experienced pieces from time to time.

However, I’ve been on the receiving end of Divine Forgiveness through the Holy Spirit for depraved acts in my life, so I know that he (and his line) was also forgiven. I chose to let go of the anger and seek to Understand.

Since a child, I envied males and considered it an awful punishment to have been born female. When I learned of reincarnation, I found solace in imagining some particularly hateful males toward women as being reborn female. And then later realized that I may have been one of those males who was now getting a taste of the ‘punishment’. ;-)

One of the many ‘disses’ of being female was never having my own last name. At sixteen, I thought of purchasing a new last name that was *mine* through legal means. But it would only have been surface change – woman has never been ‘her own’ (that I know of – it may turn our differently on the Path). Being ‘passed on’ from father to husband galled me for many years.

For me, the problem lies in the spiritual realm. The core of every human body that is empty, powerless, afraid, ignorant … battling against the Spiritual part of ourselves. There is a line from the movie, “The American President” that sums up, for me, the job of Ego: “He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who’s to blame for it.”

“Awareness is the answer; willingness the key.” Pride says, “You need not pass this way,” and Fear says, “You dare not look!” To the degree that I’m willing to look within myself and at my behaviors, I’m able to Understand others. When I was able to see the hate pocket within myself, I could understand the projected hate of others as well. Others were targets of the hate withiin me that I could not take responsibility for withoout the desire, finally, to See – and the Holy Spirit’s Light began to shine on my Darkness. My, oh my, what a dungeon it was (and still has unvisited cells waiting for treatment). :)

There have been times on my Spiritual Path when I’ve thought that Woman was the ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ on a journey to become Real. Like I was previously missing a ‘stabilizer’ or a *permanent* anchor – not just anchoring myself to a job, husband, children, etc. that could be pulled up with or without notice. Something was missing within – that many men seemed to have had from birth. I learned to be unemotional (raised with three brothers) in an effort to be consistent in mind and respected as men were. The trade-off was that love was also suppressed. I was certainly cruel/sarcastic/cynical – and felt ‘justifed’ in my opinions.

‘Love’ can’t be legislated – that is only a half-measure. The Answer is to find the Way Out from Within. The tug-of-war between Ego and me can only be won by aligning my will with that of the Holy Spirit, Who has all power. Then the Light transforms the Darkness and I’ll become Whole.

Anyway, that’s how it appears to be working out, but I Know only a little. One of the interesting things about hate is it comes from fear. In a spiritual sense, I still haven’t figured out why men fear women. Women have been excluded from the ‘hidden’ spiritual practices for centuries. Even the apostle Peter said, “Women aren’t deserving of Life.”

When I first experienced conscious contact with the Holy Spirit I was, of course, awed. However, soon afterward, I also thought that there had been some cosmic mistake made that would soon be rectified. I subconsciously believed the Holy Grail was only for men (like religion allowed women to seek but knew we would never find.). It was so incredible to be able to Think, however, that I decided to ‘make hay while the Sun shined’. Turns out we are *all* meant to Know. Women, too. :-)

This is a very important article, and hopefully one of many more to come! The role of women in this generation is going to be a HUGE factor for positive change for our future. I think we as HEthens should continue to promote as much awareness as possible. Thanks Jordan.

This article is very well done! Thanks for posting. I think that you hit the nail on the head with your “advice” section, especially in the part about women needing to rethink their role models. It’s amazing how many women idolize those “eye candy” types, and completely forget about the doctors, scientists, athletes etc. that are truly worthy of being looked up to.

Jordan, thank you for posting this. For a long time I thought Feminists were crazy because there was nothing to fix, and women were treated equally. Then I went to college and couldn’t figure out why everything felt weird. Why weren’t there any engineering or science professors? Why weren’t there any male sociology professors? When we did a unit on women in the workplace in one of my business classes, I was astounded at the wage gap. Women still make significantly less than men, are still expected to be the emotional caretakers of their children (which is draining in itself), are still Mommy-tracked, and still get promoted less often – all while performing equal or better work. This didn’t really hit home until I was about to graduate, and I realized that even though I consistently got the highest scores in my classes and understood the material better and more quickly than almost all of my peers, I would have to work twice as hard to get a job – because I have a vagina.

In our society it is fairly common for someone to say they could tell a woman was a lesbian by the way she dressed and interacted with others – WTF?!? A woman could really care less about how men view her so she is distinguishable from other women in society! What does that say about women who may not actively be trying to attract attention from men, but just want to fit in?

It is great to see this post and know that some people are listening and working for a change. There are times when I just want to give up and I don’t think anyone will listen. Thank you for supporting women and trying to spread change.

Loved the article…it’s good to read stuff like this as a reminder now and then of what’s up with women in our society today.

And, I’d just like to say that I wish instead of looking up to the pop stars, women today were more like the HE girls! There’s so many of you that are interesting, adventurous, energetic, dynamic characters, not to mention genuinely beautiful as opposed to pop-culture trampy. Keep it up!