I wonder if it's even possible at times. Self forgiveness seems such an unattainable feat. Every time I think I've made some progress, something in me triggers and I realize just how far I am from there.

In another post I made about guilt, a fellow wayward brought up the concept of gratitude. Not just to your BS, but applying it to all aspects of your life, including yourself. This has been replaying in my head since then.

I would like to share a list of what I'm grateful for today.
1) the sun and all of its light and warmth. In a recent blood test I learned I had a Vitamin D deficiency. This can cause fatigue, muscle and joint pain, restless sleep, headaches. The suggested treatment my Dr prescribed? Sunlight. To get outside, and soak in the rays and today? That's just what i did. Simple yet so important.
2) BSO felt safe enough to share his feelings with me today. I am humbled by the choice he made to allow me into his world, if only for a short while.
3) that I felt worthy enough to share my feelings with him today. It's a huge step for me to feel like I deserve any love from him at all. His welcoming embrace allowed me to see my worth through his eyes.

What in your life, and within yourself, are you grateful for?

Me: 38 fWSO He: 38 fBSO and my heart
Together 20 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos

Posts: 599 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: by the sea

Steppenwolf♂ 38140Member # 38140

Posted: 11:12 PM, April 17th (Wednesday), 2013

Wonderful topic.

I am grateful that I woke up next to RockyMtn this morning.
I am grateful for her strength and inspiration.
I am grateful that I have a chance of becoming her best friend again.
I am grateful that my future with or without her will be authentic and free of lies. That I have an opportunity to become a better human being.
I am grateful for SI. I am continually amazed by the insight this place has smacked me over the head with.
i am grateful that I made it through the day without drinking or taking drugs.

Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013

cinnamongurl♀ 37879Member # 37879

Posted: 11:52 PM, April 17th (Wednesday), 2013

Thank you for sharing, steppenwolf! What a beautiful list!

Me: 38 fWSO He: 38 fBSO and my heart
Together 20 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos

Posts: 599 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: by the sea

BIZZYBEEZ♀ 37645Member # 37645

Posted: 11:57 PM, April 17th (Wednesday), 2013

My WS suggested every night before bed we each say 3 things that we are grateful for or went well for us that day. As a BS I struggle finding the good in the day - since we started this exercise I'm finding myself a little more at peace & happier.

BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time

Posts: 235 | Registered: Nov 2012

knightsbff♀ 36853Member # 36853

Posted: 3:07 PM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013

I'm grateful for today spent with my BH and a nice lunch out.

I'm grateful for our much improved communication. He actually turns to me when he's hurting or angry. I'm truly grateful that he gives me the opportunity to step up.

I'm grateful for SI. This mess would be sooo much harder without it.

fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.

I edit often to fix stuff ☺️

Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.

Posts: 1770 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA

Darkness Falls♀ 27879Member # 27879

Posted: 7:03 PM, April 18th (Thursday), 2013

In no particular order...

1.) My currently stable health and the health of my family and friends. Such a blessing!

2.) My XH. I love that man. I am ever grateful for another chance to be his partner in life.

3.) The forgiveness of my friends & family. They have shown me much grace.

4.) My 3 sweet cats. They bring sunshine into my life every day. They don't know all the wrong that I've done, nor the good that I've done...they just know I'm "mommy" and that I'm crazy about them. I highly recommend pets!

5.) The GORGEOUS weather this time of year...oh, I love it. Every day should be like this!

6.) God and His love. Jeremiah 29:11.

7.) A job (said through gritted teeth) that provides food for my table and a roof over my head. I don't like the work that I do, but I'm grateful to be able to do it.

Thank you everyone for sharing your lists! Its so comforting to be able to find so much light in such a dark time in all of our lives. I think I'm going to start a daily gratitude journal. I think the positivity and commitment are incredibly helpful in developing new, healthy thoughts and habits.

Me: 38 fWSO He: 38 fBSO and my heart
Together 20 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos

Posts: 599 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: by the sea

Bumbling♂ 38920Member # 38920

Posted: 6:06 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013

I'm grateful for my wife who works so hard on "us."

For how much better our relationship has gotten; how much better we communicate; how much better we understand each others needs; how much more fun we have together.

For the potential joy I can now see in our future together.

For brain meds.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas

Theradin♂ 38518Member # 38518

Posted: 2:17 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013

I am grateful for my family being healthy and resilient.

I am grateful for my WS doing everything she can to change herself for the better and truly commit to me and to our family in every way imaginable.

I am grateful for my job (note: I actually do NOT care that much for my job, but I'm grateful for the $$$ it brings in to allow my family to worry less and enjoy things in life).

I am grateful for In-N-Out Burger. I don't know why I am. I guess I just love their cheeseburgers (DOUBLE!), and don't get to have them that often.

I'm grateful for a supportive and loving BH who notices the changes I have made and am still making, and who loves me and our family enough to tell me when he feels something isn't right.

I'm grateful for my sweet sweet children who all (3) have loving, caring, tender hearts. My DS 9 still pick flowers (weeds) for me. my DD 21 calls and texts frequently from school. DD 14 bakes us cookies. I'm very blessed and I almost threw it all away.

I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who forgives us and will even help us to fix our messes if we will ask and put in our ALL. I'm working on it.

fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.

I edit often to fix stuff ☺️

Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.

Posts: 1770 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA

KBeguile♂ 38348Member # 38348

Posted: 4:30 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013

I'm grateful our DS is at my parents' house, having the time of his little life.

I'm grateful that I have the strength and the fortitude to take care of Heart during the rough times.

I'm EXCEPTIONALLY grateful for the good times, when they come. Being able to see Heart smile, have her care about my well-being, and almost see that bounce in her step really makes me glad that I made the decisions I did after D-Day.

I am grateful for the rambunctious wrestle/tickle fights BH and I spontaneously have from time to time. I never win, but I love it. I smile thinking about it.

I am grateful for my dog. He's my silent but soulful friend. His small quirks and the way he gets my attention sometimes just cracks me up. I am so grateful for him, he's always by my side.

I am very grateful for second chances. I get it wrong sometimes and the work can be torturous at times, but I am SO thankful BH gave me the chance at R. I am looking forward to meeting myself one day soon, and introducing her to the man of my dreams; my husband.

I am grateful for laughter. Especially that of my children. Hearing them laugh...those deep, belly laughs and the silly giggles...everything shitty disappears for a few seconds. Those breaks are beautiful.

I am grateful that SO and I shared a moment today that was genuinely happy and free of the damage we have caused each other.

I am grateful for my furbaby and the possibility of getting her a little brother or sister furbaby.

I am grateful that I made my mom smile today.

I am grateful that I had tango and bachata classes this week that took me away from it all.

I am grateful that I still have a chance to do it right.

Posts: 3615 | Registered: Oct 2012

cinnamongurl♀ 37879Member # 37879

Posted: 5:51 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013

Thank you for sharing your heartfelt lists everyone! This thread warms my heart every time I read through it. It inspires more gratitude as well.

Me: 38 fWSO He: 38 fBSO and my heart
Together 20 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos

Posts: 599 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: by the sea

Jack317♂ 39010Member # 39010

Posted: 9:23 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013

I'm grateful for my BS at least not leaving me. I have a wonderful wife who I love. I'm also grateful for the fact that she's allowing me to remain in her life. And I'm also grateful for being able to run a mile and half without stopping.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Jack317

authenticnow♀ 16024Member # 16024

Posted: 1:17 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013

I am grateful for my H, DS and DD.

There are days (like today) when I'm on the phone with one, and the other beeps in, and then the other beeps in. Their timing is a little eerie.

But, I am grateful that my biggest problem most days is juggling conversations with the three people who I love the most in the world.

Suppressing your feelings only locks them in place.

Posts: 52133 | Registered: Sep 2007

Neithan♂ 35924Member # 35924

Posted: 1:24 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013

I'm also grateful for being able to run a mile and half without stopping.

Who was chasing you?

Me: BH
Her: WW
D-Day: 2/19/2010
Married 1981
That which does not kill me makes me more irritable