In 1978, more than 3,500 letters written over a thirty-year friendship
between Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok were discovered by
archivists. Although the most explicit letters had been burned (Lorena
told Eleanor's daughter, "Your mother wasn't always so very discreet in
her letters to me"), the find was still electrifying enough to create
controversy about the nature of the women's relationship. Historian
Rodger Streitmatter has transcribed and annotated more than 300 of those
letters—published here for the first time—and put them within the
context of the lives of these two extraordinary women, allowing us to
understand the role of this remarkable friendship in Roosevelt's
transformation into a crusading First Lady.

I love, loved this book. I’ve always had an admiration for
Eleanor Roosevelt just in how she was a strong woman who I’d read did most of
FDR’s leg work around the country and that she was somewhat running the country for a while. Reading this book though gave me a much more
intimate look at who she was as a woman in both her private and public life.

This book is about Eleanor’s relationship with reporter
and writer Lorena Hickok. Until I read this I had no idea that there was any
hint that Eleanor might have been bisexual or even how progressive she was
about sexuality, gender roles and the rights of just about anyone outside of
the default white privileged male.

But for the purposes of this review I will stick with her
love story with Lorena, which this book focused on. What I liked about this book
is that it’s basically a collection of letters that were written between
Eleanor and Lorena that span a 30 year time. So it’s an actual firsthand
account by both parties involved, which is far more interesting than a
biographer who might spin things with his or her own slant based on second hand
accounts.

First I’d like to say that I thought the author did a great
job of not interpreting or reading too much into the meaning behind certain
“erotic” statements in many of the letters. He writes some background on both
women, but the book is mostly the letters. He also gave some background
information preceding many of the letters to give the reader a better idea of
events that preceded things mentioned in the letters.

I found the letters fascinating. If you Google Eleanor and
Lorena’s love story there are many sites that have all the “juicer” quotes from
the letters. I found them to be not as racy as many would suggest, but still
very intimate and highly suggestive of a romantic/ physical relationship. Most
of the more interesting letters were from the first few years of their
relationship. They wrote very often after those years, but those letters from
the earlier years contained a lot of expression of passion for each other.

Most of them are from Eleanor to Lorena although later years
the letters are more from Lorena. After
FDR died, Eleanor hired Lorena to archive a lot of the correspondence and
Lorena finding those letters between her and Eleanor decided to burn many of
them. So we’ll never know the extent of
their love story, if it was more or not.

While many suggest they had a full on romantic/sexual
relationship based on those letters, others have said that the way Eleanor
expressed herself was a reflection of the time she was brought up in and not
suggestive of a romantic relationship at all.

I would say that other things that happened or were expressed
showed more about how their relationship was more than just a friendship. Lorena
expressed a lot of jealousy about the lack of time that Eleanor could share
with her, especially when she and Eleanor arranged going off together by
themselves away from everyone for holidays but then would have that interrupted
by people recognizing Eleanor and wanting attention, or Eleanor herself including others unintentionally.

They spoke, or
Eleanor did, of sharing a house together one day and Eleanor even fantasized
about what type of furniture they’d have and how they would read together in
bed at night.

Eleanor constantly told Lorena she loved her in a more intimate way then one would say I love you to a friend, and expressed
despondence if she had not received a letter from or heard from Lorena by phone
for more than a couple of hours or a day, which tells me maybe something more
than a normal friendship.

Also they discussed several times, particularly Lorena,
being worried about the talk about their relationship. Eleanor seemed less
concerned. But she did refrain from telling Lorena she loved her when talking
on the phone because some family were present, suggesting that to do so would
have shown the extent of her love of Lorena and that it was of a nature that
others would find unacceptable.

Some of the letters do show that they were physical on some
level. Whether it was more than some kissing or cuddling that was actually
mentioned, it’s hard to say. Lorena was a lesbian. So it’s not a stretch that
due to the women being so close that they wrote pages and pages of letters to
each other daily expressing constant love for each other and desire to be
together that Lorena might have seduced Eleanor and that Eleanor might have
reciprocated.

Another thing that suggested they were more than just
friends is how deeply both felt pain at not being able to be what the other
needed or wanted. Particularly Eleanor often expressed sadness that she caused
Lorena pain.

What I learned from these letters is that Eleanor was an
extremely progressive and liberal minded woman, especially for her time. She
was very close friends with two lesbian couples and spent a lot of time with
them. So she wasn’t closed off to the idea of lesbian relationships.

Later on in their lives, as Eleanor’s duties as first lady
took up most of her time and she became more public property as it were, their
letters became less passionate and more about just love and support for each
other. It’s clear that Eleanor felt responsible for Lorena and helped her to
get jobs and even sent her money often to help her out. Lorena was not in the
best of health and it was hard for her to make enough money to live on. And
even though years after they met Lorena had an affair with a female judge, she
always wrote to Eleanor that Eleanor was the one she loved the most.

Until the end they expressed their love for each other even
if not as passionate as those first couple of years.

All around this was an amazing book. It’s just fascinating
to think that a First Lady would have had as colorful a personal life while
being First Lady and under the public eye and during a time period that were such relationships were more taboo.

It was also a really sad book for me
to read. It’s a kind of bittersweet love story because you know how it went and
ended and I wonder if they would have had their love story if both were not in
the public eye or lived under different conditions.

Adults only- younger than 18- please leave

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