04/10/2012

How To Talk About Your Weaknesses

It’s hard enough that we have to talk about our strengths to others, but our weaknesses? That’s just the worst. Even more confounding, we’re only asked to talk about our weaknesses and our strengths in an interview, but after we get the job, we’re rarely ever asked to talk about what makes us so great again. Our weaknesses, however, seem to come up in every time we make a mistake or something goes wrong. So instead of learning to talk about what makes us great, it seems more valuable to learn how to talk about what holds us back if, for no other reason, it can help us move forward.

There are two very common mistakes we make when answering the question, “what’s your biggest weakness?” In an attempt to be clever or even be honest, we can end up doing ourselves more harm than good.

1. Replacing a weakness with a strength

This one is very common. “What’s your biggest weakness?” the interviewer asks. “My biggest weakness is I’m a perfectionist,” we respond thinking we’ve outwitted the interviewer or dodged a bullet. Ironically, by not answering the question, we are making it more difficult for the interviewer, if they hire us, to put us in a position of strength. In other words, in an attempt to sound strong we increase the likelihood of being weak.

2. A little too honest

Some people when asked, “what’s your biggest weakness,” get straight into the thick of it, “I’m really disorganized. It’s really the thing that holds me back sometimes.” Though I appreciate the honesty, the answer lacks context. We may as well look someone in the eye and say, “I’m not the person you’re looking for because you can’t rely on me.”

The best way to talk about our weaknesses is to be honest about them, for sure, but in the context of the balancing strength. Here’s what I mean:

“What’s your biggest weakness?”

“I do my best work in a team. There is nothing I love more than working with others, the back and forth of ideas. I love it. In contrast, you won’t get the best work out of me if I’m always on projects that require me to work alone.”

Here's another example:

“I’m the one who’s always looking into the future. Where others are working to figure out what we need to do tomorrow, I’m already looking for opportunities on the horizon – six months, a year, sometimes five years ahead. Organizations with a desire to innovate and go far for a long time love that about me. The flip side is I can be a little disorganized with what I need to do today or tomorrow.”

Everything in the world is balanced. For every weakness we have, we have a strength that explains or provides context for that weakness. Both these examples offer honest answers to the question but do so within the context of why that weakness exists. The result? We’re more likely to be seen as trustworthy because we’re willing to offer an honest answer to vulnerable questions and, more importantly, the person listening to us is more likely to put us in a job that highlights our strengths and mitigates our weaknesses…which is good for us and good for them.

Knowing how to talk about our weaknesses, it turns out, can be one of our greatest strengths.

Your article is good. However, I'm unsure how to apply this concept when I'm an entrepreneur. Yes...I can hire people who will complement myself, but if I'm a solopreneur, when would I need to highlight my weaknesses? Talking to my followers, I believe there should be a sense of imperfection, but what is the best way to highlight that?

This is so brilliant, I've been struggling with this very issue when writing blog posts these days to inspire people without sounding arrogant but also that I didn't make the progress they are seeking, and in a human way.

Nice take on this Simon. I enjoy that you start every weakness not only with context, it's a context that highlights your Hows - how you do your best work. Thus the weakness is not a stand alone, it's an explanation of when you're at your best and when your lid slams down. Organizations will then hire you if it's right - right for them and right for you.

Awesome post!!! In my ten experience working in a big Canadian Corporation, I managed several teams from different platforms. My biggest passion, developing individuals strengths. In doing so, as you have explained here, some of them, turned out their weakness was their strength. It provided breakthrough results.

Obviously I agree on the importance of recognizing our weaknesses as a strength. However, of course I speak from experience, not everyone has this vision. Example: "I do my best work in a team...you won't get the best work out of me...if I am alone." If the vision of the organization is "hierarchy", they will view this as lack of self confidence.
Having said this, I still definitely agree with being open and honest as you have described. The main reason for this is because, it is important that you do what you love, that you are your true self. This should not be compromised with doing a job that goes against your values.
If your honesty is what does not get you that job, then, you should beat yourself on how you should answer that question the next time. You should be grateful that you did NOT get it!!! You would have been miserable otherwise!

I have always learned that a weakness is actually a strength you do too much or too often. So if you find the strength behind your weakness you can use it to balance it. So a disorganized person may be a very creative idea machine. It also helps in foucsing your own place in an organisation or group.

Thanks for this post. Weaknesses are important, and trying to hide them, or dodging the bullet as you suggest Simon, serves no one well. I wrote a piece on weakness recently called Quitter. I found it tough to write and enjoyed the subsequent release. And like you I feel that talking honestly about these weaknesses is a strength. In case you or your readers are interested here is a link to what I wrote.

Before becoming an executive and leadership coach, I was in industry for over 20 years. I've done my share of interviews.

Whenever I was asked my weakness I would say, "You'll need to speak to my wife." I was being honest and the interviewer always laughed. This meant they related to what I was saying. At that moment, I formed a relationship.

Simon, I agree with flipping a "perceived" negative into a positive. Well said.