I'm so torn.

I was asked by a family member to be a bridesmaid in May of 2012. Before I said yes I told her DH and I will be trying for a baby next year. We were shooting for March but DH has decided to start in January now. ( I haven't been telling people about our plans for a baby but I figured in this case I should tell her). I told her I might have a baby bump by then and she said that's fine no worries, so I agreed to be in her wedding. Well she told me a few days ago that all the bridesmaids have bought their dresses already. ( I live a few states away from them). She told me I HAVE to buy mine by December. But her wedding is not until may?! It takes 8 weeks for the order to come in so why buy 6 months in advance? I don't even know how much I will weigh in May. Now she told me this morning through text that DH and I should wait and TTC after her wedding. DH and I have had these plans for over a year and have been preparing also she just got engaged last month. Now I don't know what to do. Should I hold off on TTC for this bridezilla a.k.a my SIL or just go ahead and order the dress and hope they can resize it if I gain any weight? Sorry if this thread is everywhere I am a little scatterbrained at this moment. I can't believe someone would ask me to hold off on TTC for their wedding!

I was asked by a family member to be a bridesmaid in May of 2012. Before I said yes I told her DH and I will be trying for a baby next year. We were shooting for March but DH has decided to start in January now. ( I haven't been telling people about our plans for a baby but I figured in this case I should tell her). I told her I might have a baby bump by then and she said that's fine no worries, so I agreed to be in her wedding. Well she told me a few days ago that all the bridesmaids have bought their dresses already. ( I live a few states away from them). She told me I HAVE to buy mine by December. But her wedding is not until may?! It takes 8 weeks for the order to come in so why buy 6 months in advance? I don't even know how much I will weigh in May. Now she told me this morning through text that DH and I should wait and TTC after her wedding. DH and I have had these plans for over a year and have been preparing also she just got engaged last month. Now I don't know what to do. Should I hold off on TTC for this bridezilla a.k.a my SIL or just go ahead and order the dress and hope they can resize it if I gain any weight? Sorry if this thread is everywhere I am a little scatterbrained at this moment. I can't believe someone would ask me to hold off on TTC for their wedding!

I have been in a few weddings and it is normal for them to need to order the dresses so far in advance BUT you do not change YOUR plans just because someone else is wanting you to. I dont mean this in a mean way but that is very selfish of her. You should talk to her about it.. I would just get sized for the dress now and worry about any weight gain when it happens. You can remember that if she continues to be that way, you can back out of being a bridesmaid. I think it was wrong for her to text your husband and tell him y'all should stop trying to have a baby until after her wedding. Like I said, talk to your husband about everything and then talk to her but do not put your plans to the side for someone else because they want you to!

I have been in a few weddings and it is normal for them to need to order the dresses so far in advance BUT you do not change YOUR plans just because someone else is wanting you to. I dont mean this in a mean way but that is very selfish of her. You should talk to her about it.. I would just get sized for the dress now and worry about any weight gain when it happens. You can remember that if she continues to be that way, you can back out of being a bridesmaid. I think it was wrong for her to text your husband and tell him y'all should stop trying to have a baby until after her wedding. Like I said, talk to your husband about everything and then talk to her but do not put your plans to the side for someone else because they want you to!

I agree with pp. do not put your plans on hold. How horrible would it be if you waited and then it took you a long time to conceive? You would want those 5 months back. And even if you get pregnant quickly, you probably won't be really showing. It took about 5+ months for me to show with my first so you should be fine. There are lots of pregnant bridesmaids out there - she really had no place asking you to put major life plans on hold for a one-day event. It seems as though she has misplaced values.

I agree with pp. do not put your plans on hold. How horrible would it be if you waited and then it took you a long time to conceive? You would want those 5 months back. And even if you get pregnant quickly, you probably won't be really showing. It took about 5+ months for me to show with my first so you should be fine. There are lots of pregnant bridesmaids out there - she really had no place asking you to put major life plans on hold for a one-day event. It seems as though she has misplaced values.

I have two bridesmaids dresses sitting in my closet that I never got to wear. Also, you can order a dress within 6 weeks of a wedding, I waited to the very last minute for one because I did not trust it, and had a girl wait to the last minute on mine.

Also, there is no gaurntee you will be PG in jan, while I personally would love if you were, just cause you start trying dosnt mean you will be. But on a brighter note, if you are does not mean you will show :).

Don't hold off building your family for her day, but in fairness, when you become PG don't be the bridemaid that makes every bridal gathering about your LO. It will be hard to avoid but flip the questions back to the bride if anyone ask you about your wee one. "so when are you due?" "oh, so and so, the bride will be x months in to marriage" Reassure the bride you will not make it about you.

wishing you the best of luck!

How much do you trust they are going to get married?

I have two bridesmaids dresses sitting in my closet that I never got to wear. Also, you can order a dress within 6 weeks of a wedding, I waited to the very last minute for one because I did not trust it, and had a girl wait to the last minute on mine.

Also, there is no gaurntee you will be PG in jan, while I personally would love if you were, just cause you start trying dosnt mean you will be. But on a brighter note, if you are does not mean you will show :).

Don't hold off building your family for her day, but in fairness, when you become PG don't be the bridemaid that makes every bridal gathering about your LO. It will be hard to avoid but flip the questions back to the bride if anyone ask you about your wee one. "so when are you due?" "oh, so and so, the bride will be x months in to marriage" Reassure the bride you will not make it about you.

Thanks ladies. I have never been in a wedding, I have no idea what it's like on the other side of the bride. I had a beach wedding and told my Bridesmaids to just buy a pink cotton dress. And I just feel so rushed now. Lol I do have anxiety when being rushed. I just don't want to piss her off because she is my DH's sister and I have to see her for the rest of my life lol. I know there might not be a chance of a PG. Also I hate being in the center of attention so there's no way I'll take her thunder away. But I appreciate the input. It's just a bridesmaids dress lol not sure why I got all stressed about it now!

Thanks ladies. I have never been in a wedding, I have no idea what it's like on the other side of the bride. I had a beach wedding and told my Bridesmaids to just buy a pink cotton dress. And I just feel so rushed now. Lol I do have anxiety when being rushed. I just don't want to piss her off because she is my DH's sister and I have to see her for the rest of my life lol. I know there might not be a chance of a PG. Also I hate being in the center of attention so there's no way I'll take her thunder away. But I appreciate the input. It's just a bridesmaids dress lol not sure why I got all stressed about it now!

I've been in 2 weddings. I rented the second dress abt a week in advance! Seriously don't delay but when sizing, consider the style. An empire waist with an A line skirt will hide a baby bump and still be flattering to most body styles. Don't let her stop your plans. Yea it's her day, but it's you and her brothers LIFE! She definitely needs to consider allowing you to buy a style that won't require serious alteration if you do get preggo. Otherwise, just ask the dress shop what they can do or would recommend for a maternity dress in her chosen style just in case. Good luck!!!

I've been in 2 weddings. I rented the second dress abt a week in advance! Seriously don't delay but when sizing, consider the style. An empire waist with an A line skirt will hide a baby bump and still be flattering to most body styles. Don't let her stop your plans. Yea it's her day, but it's you and her brothers LIFE! She definitely needs to consider allowing you to buy a style that won't require serious alteration if you do get preggo. Otherwise, just ask the dress shop what they can do or would recommend for a maternity dress in her chosen style just in case. Good luck!!!

I personally would not hold off TTC for a wedding. A wedding is ONE day, Baby and Child are the rest of your life. Talk to your husband about the text message. Talk to the bride, be honest with her and tell her your going to start TTC, and you need to hold off on ordering your dress.I got married 08/2010. At the time we tried on dresses, my maid of honor was prego, and I had no idea. By the time our wedding rolled around and dresses where ordered and shipped, my MOH, and my 1 BM were both Prego. There were tons of potty breaks that day, but an awesome day none the less.

Hi Sunshine!

I personally would not hold off TTC for a wedding. A wedding is ONE day, Baby and Child are the rest of your life. Talk to your husband about the text message. Talk to the bride, be honest with her and tell her your going to start TTC, and you need to hold off on ordering your dress.I got married 08/2010. At the time we tried on dresses, my maid of honor was prego, and I had no idea. By the time our wedding rolled around and dresses where ordered and shipped, my MOH, and my 1 BM were both Prego. There were tons of potty breaks that day, but an awesome day none the less.

Worst/BEST case....you step back from the wedding, because you have a preggo belly! What better could happen to you? You observe the wedding smiling, because you will have a little one soon. There is nothing better! I know brides can get selfish, but I agree....it's one day! Don't worry about the dress. If it doesn't fit for the wedding, then it doesn't fit...for the best reason ever. I am sure the wedding will take place even without your bridesmaid's contribution. Don't stress over this. It's a dress vs. a child of your own!!!

Worst/BEST case....you step back from the wedding, because you have a preggo belly! What better could happen to you? You observe the wedding smiling, because you will have a little one soon. There is nothing better! I know brides can get selfish, but I agree....it's one day! Don't worry about the dress. If it doesn't fit for the wedding, then it doesn't fit...for the best reason ever. I am sure the wedding will take place even without your bridesmaid's contribution. Don't stress over this. It's a dress vs. a child of your own!!!

Yup I'm also going with don't wait for the same reasons the other ladies said. Wow if my sil said that to my dh there would have been some not so nice words said. She's just all wedding crazy right now. Is she one of the 1st of her friends to get married? Sure it's fine for the rest of the bm to get their dresses now if they aren't married or ttc. What would a few mo mean to them. Nothing at all. Find out what type of dress it is. Unless it's really form fitting it will prob still fit over a little bump. I think it looks really cute. Best of luck to you.

Yup I'm also going with don't wait for the same reasons the other ladies said. Wow if my sil said that to my dh there would have been some not so nice words said. She's just all wedding crazy right now. Is she one of the 1st of her friends to get married? Sure it's fine for the rest of the bm to get their dresses now if they aren't married or ttc. What would a few mo mean to them. Nothing at all. Find out what type of dress it is. Unless it's really form fitting it will prob still fit over a little bump. I think it looks really cute. Best of luck to you.

Maybe order it in a larger size? You'll need to get it fitted anyway before the wedding, right? That will give you some wiggle room. It's always better to have more material than to have to get it let out later (and possibly not have enough material to cover your bump).

Maybe order it in a larger size? You'll need to get it fitted anyway before the wedding, right? That will give you some wiggle room. It's always better to have more material than to have to get it let out later (and possibly not have enough material to cover your bump).

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