Me: “I’m sorry, we strive to get it to you within 30 to 45 minutes, but there’s no free pizza if it’s there after 30 minutes. That used to be policy, but we stopped doing that years ago.”

Customer: “That’s unacceptable! Why?”

Me: “Because drivers were having to pay for late pizzas out of their paychecks. Consequently, they were driving dangerously fast, causing accidents. People were getting badly hurt, so we ended that policy.”