Sunday, April 06, 2014

If someone asked you the question “How does being bisexual affect
your life, day to day?” how would you answer?

This was the question we asked 2 groups of
bisexual-identified women as part of a larger study about women’s sexual
orientation, their connection to community, and experiences of support and
inclusion. What we found was that for these women, being bisexual often meant
that they had to contend with hostility toward bisexuality in general, their
bisexuality being dismissed, or confusion from others over whether the women
could “really” be bisexual. What is more, those who made the comments were
often unaware that their statements were hurtful or upsetting to the women. These
commonplace, and often unintentional, slights or insults related to a facet of
one’s identity are known as “microaggressions”.

In a recent paper, my colleague
and I discuss 7 bisexual-specific microaggressions that emerged from our focus
groups. Including those mentioned above, which we termed hostility, denial/dismissal,
and unintelligibility, we also
identified microaggressions related to hypersexuality,
dating exclusion, pressure to change, and LGBT legitimacy. Probably the most common microaggression had to do
with the women’s place within the larger “LGBT” community. A number of women
talked about how they felt a requirement to prove they were “gay enough” to legitimately
be a member of a community that, at least in name, included them. Others told
of how even at events that were labeled as LGBT, there were unwelcoming, or
even hostile comments about bisexuality. Said Chris “I feel like I am you and I am

kicked out of you”.

But doesn’t everybody have to contend with rude or insulting
comments, in one way or another, you ask? Absolutely. What is unique about
microaggressions, and very much related to what the women in our study had to
say, is the way in which they are connected to a fundamental aspect of
someone’s identity. In fact, what we noticed about many of these bisexual
microaggressions was the way in which a number of them challenged the women as
knowers of their own experiences or even of themselves.

When someone denies or dismisses a bisexual woman’s identity,
by choosing to refer to her as “straight” or “lesbian”, even in the face of the
woman’s own deliberate and clear self-identification as bisexual, that is not
just insulting. It also implies that the woman does not truly know herself, or
that she cannot be who she says she is. When one is continually met with
confusion from others about what bisexuality means, or if it even exists, they
may feel compelled to provide definitions, explanations, and “proof” in order
to truly be seen, heard, and understood. Returning to the question at hand, for a
number of our participants, at the end of the day, being bisexual meant working
to make their identity intelligible, and by extension, themselves intelligible.

The findings from this work
point to a potential reason why we see such high rates of depression and
anxiety among bisexual women. As my previous work shows, bisexual women have
some of the highest rates of mood and anxiety disorders in the country,
exceeding rates found among heterosexual and lesbian women. We don’t know
exactly why this is the case, but perhaps it is related to the unique
stressors, like the microaggressions mentioned above, that bisexual women face.
Messages
questioning the credibility and/or very existence of bisexuality, often prompt work to prove the validity of one’s
identity claims. We hypothesize thatmicroaggressions that render bisexual women’s identity claims faulty
or, worse, false andinauthentic,
burden bisexual women with additional “identity work”. This burden, or
stressor, is bothcognitively
and emotionally taxing, and in turn, likely has negative consequences formental health and well-being.

Our work is just a start, and
there are many more people we need to talk to—bisexual men, racially and
ethnically diverse bisexuals, youth, and/or those who are not “out” about their
bisexuality. But we hope our recent paper sheds light on the unique and
specific experiences of bisexuals, and how such experiences may be connected to
mental health and well-being. In turn, we ultimately want to foster a larger
culture that is accepting of bisexuals, and that allows us to be who we say we
are. Here’s to a bisexual community that is happy, healthy, and flourishing!

Community Definition of Bisexuality

“Bisexual - A person whose enduring physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction is to other people of various sexes and/or gender identities. Individuals may experience this attraction in differing ways and degrees over their lifetime.”

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