Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I apologize at the forefront for the above blog post title. Said title marks the worst co-opting of inner-city slang through the use of an apostrophe since white people in gray suits decided to bestow Hangin' with Mr. Cooper upon us in 1992. (On a related note, the first person who can correctly identify the meaning of the Milwaukee-based slang "I gotta use it" wins my utmost respect.) For the love of Holly Robinson-Peete, enough BS, I'm sure you're all dying to see what's inside!

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:237 Barry Bonds (I'm sure the ridiculousness of this card has been blogged about before, but Holy Slim Jim! Let's see, the checklist says that there's 54 base rookies of guys who got at least a sniff of the bigs, then there's the Futures Game prospects, which are considered inserts, and are numbered from 66 to 110. Along with these are all sorts of patch, jersey, and autograph variations I'm not going to pull out of my Target packs. Then there are the draft picks, which make up the first 65 cards that came before the 66 to 110 run. My public school education tells me that 110+54=164. Can someone explain to me where the 237 came from? Was this the number of the Bonds card in the regular Bowman set? Current hat size?)BDP34 Matt Brown (See what happens? I get deprived of an actual rookie card and my only salvage is Matt Brown. "I got a rock.")BDPP82 Robinzon Diaz Chrome (Yet to crack the Blue Jays fearsome lineup of perennial All-Stars. I hope this guy goes far. You gotta love the substitution of z for s.)BDP12 Cameron Maybin Chrome (Hitting .143 for the Marlins.)BDP3 Justin Upton Gold (A stud who is rocking the NL this year. Possible ROY material.)BDPP28 Andrew Lambo (?)BDPP86 Elvis Andrus (Part of the Mark Teixeira trade, now in the Rangers system. Not as much of a legend as this guy.)

Apparently all the calls made by Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedy brothers from the island where they're all living and partying together didn't help on Dancing with the Dorks. 'Cilla has left the building.