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Welcome back! So we got a full house of recaps to get to (and for the foreseeable future), so how about we just jump right into it. Cool? Cool.

“Fallout”

We deal with the literal fallout of the President being revealed to be an alien, as said President decides to resign immediately. That doesn’t help cool the flames of anti-alien sentiment that has been lit by this event and by Mercy Graves’ terrorist actions. And things get only worse when Mercy launches a multi-pronged attack on L-Corp: one in temporarily disabling all those hologram emitters for aliens (leading to an awkward moment for Brainy), and two in Mercy leading an attack on L-Corp’s servers. The latter leads to a confrontation with Lena, whose personal connection to Mercy leads to some awkward conversations about if Lena is living up to her potential (if the vague hints about what she is up to since last season aren’t enough of a hint…).

Kara manages to take Mercy into custody for the DEO, but that takes its own horrible turn when she convinces one of the more alien prejudiced men in the organization to let her and her brother escape. Unfortunately, they also took that lead-spreading device used to stop the Daxamites in season two…and use it with kryptonite! That puts Kara out of commission as she’s in mid-air, so…that’s bad! Also, our creepy metal masked guy from last episode is holding public speeches about hate on aliens, which, really not good!

Not lacking for subtlety here.

–While we lose Lynda Carter as the President, we do get Bruce Boxleitner as the replacement. I mean, that’s good news, unless we’re being set up for a massive heel turn later.

–Kara got to do a bit more as a civilian thanks to being stuck with Lena during Mercy’s attack on L-Corp. That led to some fun moments as she tried to navigate playing a normal reporter with her superpowers in check.

–Brainy runs into Nia, who prevents Brainy from being attacked in an alien hate crime. He also thinks she looks very familiar. Hmm?

–Also, we learn Nia is transgender, but that fact is brought up by her to help James decide on CatCo’s response to all this anti-alien behavior.

–J’onn spends his time investigating his missing friend on his own, and stumbles upon “Citizen Liberty” doing his hate speech. Hopefully he’s available for help, since Kara was last seen plummeting from the sky.

–What problems can’t be solved with pizza? Honestly?

–Lena describing what Lex would say about her inventions: “He’d say they were cute and could I make them in pink.”

“The Death Of Vibe”

Time for another lesson on not messing with the timeline: maybe because of Nora’s trip back to her past (our present), it may have lead to the metahuman killer Cicada coming into being early, which is even worse when she explains they never caught him! In order to find Cicada, they try something Nora admits they didn’t try in her time: bringing in someone like Harrison Wells! In looking through the many Wells they know of, they find Sherloque Wells, who brags he is the greatest detective of the multiverse! And it seems he is correct in assuming who it is, except there’s two problems: 1) he based this on numerous captures of Cicada throughout the multiverse being the same suspect; and 2) Nora changed the timeline. This is obvious because Cicada (not the suspect that is captured by Team Flash) arrives at Joe’s house, looking to kill Cisco/Vibe!

Cisco appears only to have Cicada whisk him away in his own breach to the nearby woods. There, it looks things are bad, especially with Cicada’s dampening powers in effect, and Barry unable to stop him. Nora however comes up with a solution that makes it seem Vibe is killed in front of Cicada. Obviously, Cisco is alive, but Vibe is declared dead publicly, so yay there. We also learn that Cicada is also the father of an comatose child, and Sherloque deduces that Nora’s arrival may not be as clear cut as she lays it out to be. Many questions…

The Flash does its homage to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

–Caitlin’s dad left her some clues that he may be still alive, and maybe something is going on between her and Ralph, which means he might want to get life insurance, because her boyfriends have a bad mortality rate.

–I’m not hallucinating, but Joe is spending a lot of time in chairs this season. It’s just…concerning.

–Sherloque literally fakes his own death in the holding cell just so he can avoid paying Team Flash back for the money they gave him to investigate and fail to find Cicada. That’s effort.

–Barry and Iris want Nora to move in with them, which I’m sure is going to be all kinds of awkward down the road.

–A nice twist for comics fans: David Hersch is the alias for Cicada in the comics. Clearly he’s not Cicada here, although he is guilty of domestic terrorism, so win there.

–“Seven marriages. Five wives. Lots of alimony.”

–“I recently uncovered the case of the stolen Chevy. Of Impala.”

“The Book Of Consequences, Chapter Three: Master Lowry”

Jefferson gets to meet his new boss, Principal Mike Lowry, and that goes swimmingly, like swimming though thick sludge well. Lynn gets a new assistant, a doctor convicted of murder, but at least some knowledge that may be helpful for those pod kids. Anissa rips off some higher class of criminals to help the local church pay to keep a local clinic open. Jennifer gets a therapist, a metahuman who can take her into a dreamworld where she can work on her powers and issues without hurting anyone.

The main thirst of this episode comes in discovering that detective Tobias murdered from last episode. Black Lighting is asked in by Henderson (hey, at least they’re still talking after Henderson found out who he is) to help find the guilty party. They don’t have to do much work, because Henderson ultimately finds Tobias and arrests him! It’s so easy, you have to ask, are we sure Tobias didn’t want to get arrested? And if so, why did he?

I hope the cops brought enough guys for Tobias Whale.

–Khalil is definitely getting in too deep with Tobias, murdering one guy who missed his protection payments, and almost getting killed when threatening to kill Black Lightning’s family. Bad call there, Jefferson.

–Anissa may be hooking up with Grace again, which is the least interesting thing she’s up to this episode.

–Kara shows up at Gamby’s apartment, barely alive after getting that harpoon to the gut in the season opener. Should be interesting to see how that goes.

–Maybe not spring a metahuman therapist on your daughter without her knowing it first. Just a suggestion.

–“Well, besides the fall and the general lack of life, he wasn’t very chatty.”

–“She’s cotton candy, and you need soul food.”

“The Virgin Gary”

Remember that last scene of the season finale where John Constantine warned the Legends about mystical creatures loose in the timestream? Well it’s been five months since that, and outside of fixing all the anachronisms left behind last season, nothing magical oriented has popped up for our heroes. Heck, they’re celebrating being technically out of work right now because nothing is wrong with the timestream. Except Constantine warns Sara there is darkness rising, and she can’t help but look into it. What she finds is a bizarre oddity: something around the Woodstock Festival in 1969. Of course, some people outside our group are remembering it as the Woodstock Massacre, which means something is really off. And that oddity is…a unicorn. Yes, a unicorn, that also is goring hippies with its horn and eating hearts. And can shoot rainbow goo out of its horn that causes insane hallucinations.

It’s clear based on the fact our heroes are unable to handle this (and end up tripping serious balls thanks to that unicorn goop), that Sara has to ask Constantine to help them. That plan involves a few trinkets stolen from from musicians at the festival, and a virgin, meaning…Gary. The unicorn gets sent to Hell, and Gary almost loses a nipple, so it all kinda works out. Except, there’s probably more magical evil throughout time for the Legends to fight. Also, there’s some evil that is threatening to come after Constantine, so we got ourselves a setup for a new season!

Legends of Tomorrow: the only superhero show with an unicorn that gores people with its horn and sprays people with rainbow spunk. Only on The CW.

–Ava wants Sara to move into her apartment, but Sara’s not sure about doing that just yet. Also, Ava isn’t entirely up to speed on the Legends knowing about all this mystical stuff going down, so that can only lead to some heated talk later on.

–Constantine has to assure Gary that “whatever they did” together doesn’t count as losing your virginity. Uh-huh.

–Oh yeah, and the Legends stopped Paul Revere from ruining the arrival of The Beatles to America. Just a little thing.

–“Did Constantine get you to squeal?” “I wish.”

–“We don’t want to be fighting werewolves in the Alamo!”

–“We didn’t screw things up for the better this year, we screwed them up for the more magical!”

–“Who told Ava about the dragon?”

NEXT TIME: Supergirl handles being poisoned by Kryptonite, The Flash gets into a little Allen family squabble, Black Lightning deals with Tobias in prison, and the Legends of Tomorrow face off against an evil fairy godmother!