10 things we hate about Montreal

Olympic Stadium, Montreal: Built for the 1976 summer Olympics, this unique building has the largest seating capacity of any stadium in Canada. While the Montreal Expos used the stadium until they left the city in 2004, the stadium has largely been without a tenant. The stadium's distinctive tower is the tallest inclined tower in the world at 175 metres. (Shutterstock)

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Fresh from a punishing 6-1 drubbing at the hands and fists of the Ottawa Senators, you'd think fans of Les (In)Glorieux would be off licking their wounds and furling their tricolore flags.

But no -- like mouthy diva defenceman P.K. Subban, they just keep chirping. So here are 10 reasons to hate the Habs and the city they come from.

1. Corruption: Did the Habs think they could slide a few brown envelopes down Gary Bettman's way to seal a series win? Sorry boys, it'll take some honest work to win. And you wouldn't know much about that now would you?

2. P.K. Subban: The whiny contract holdout is getting paid $5.75 million to malign his teammates from the bench. As usual, Montreal has overpaid -- an awful lot of people would have done that for free.

3. Roads: If the Bell Centre ice was anything like Montreal's streets, boulevards, highways -- heck, pretty much anything with an asphalt surface -- then Habs forwards would be skating gingerly alongside chasms of collapsing ice and Carey Price would be making saves from deep inside a pothole. Ok, we're exaggerating -- Price doesn't really make saves, does he?

4. P.K. Subban: That's right, he's here twice. This time because of how he stacks up against Sens star D-man Erik Karlsson. Subban missed six regular season games out of naked greed, abused his teammates Sunday night and hasn't scored in the playoffs. The classy Karlsson had a miracle comeback from injury and has a goal and three assist against the Habs. If P.K. stands for Pretend Karlsson, he needs to pretend harder.

5. Walruses: We get it. Sens coach Paul MacLean has a bristly moustache. But if you want to see slow-moving mammals sunning themselves and stuffing their craws, look no further than Tam-tams at Mont Royal Park every Sunday afternoon. Please don't feed the beasts.

6. The Incredible Hulk: Speaking of things that coaches look like, does Canadiens coach Michel Therrien share a common ancestor with TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno? The main difference being that Therrien -- like the rest of his team, evidently -- has none of Ferrigno's brawn. But we are pretty sure we saw Therrien turning green near the end of the third period.

8. Youppi!: Clearly someone in Habs management got a great deal on a used car and thought, "Hey, I could save big bucks and get a used mascot too!" It's a nice welfare gig for the ex-Expo, but now the symbol of the Habs is the heart and soul of a failed baseball team that slunk off to the States without so much as a World Series win. Even Toronto got a couple of those.

9. Supersexe: The landmark Ste-Catherine St. strip joint still offers a free table dance with every bucket of beer. But when the song is over, you're alone, you're unfulfilled -- and you still have five warm Coors Lights to choke back.

10. Je me souviens: The motto "I remember" graces every Quebec licence place. In French only, natch. But we're bilingual in Ottawa, so here's how to use it in a sentence of good Quebec French: Je me souviens du wicked beatdown que les Senateurs ont administré Sunday soir. What was le score again? Ah oui -- je me souviens that it was 6-1.

Merci, salut la visite. And see you Tuesday — the Sens Army is looking forward to it.

10 things we hate about Montreal

Fresh from a punishing 6-1 drubbing at the hands and fists of the Ottawa Senators, you'd think fans of Les (In)Glorieux would be off licking their wounds and furling their tricouleurs flags. But no -- like mouthy diva defenceman P.K. Subban, they just keep chirping. So here are 10 reasons to hate the Habs and the city they come from.

1. Corruption: Did the Habs think they could slide a few brown envelopes down Gary Bettman's way to seal a series win? Sorry boys, it'll take some honest work to win. And you wouldn't know much about that now would you?

2. P.K. Subban: The whiny contract holdout is getting paid $5.75 million to malign his teammates from the bench. As usual, Montreal has overpaid -- an awful lot of people would have done that for free.

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