What did it mean when Janet Yellen tilted her head to the left? Did Stephen Poloz’s silvery doo look a little unkempt this week? Was that a whimsical smile we saw on Mario Draghi’s face? Hmm…

OK, we joke. But no other area in finance has had so much noise around it than the whens, whys and by-how-much’s of interest rate moves. Every few months, central bankers talk about the factors that contribute to their decisions or non-decisions, prompting market-watchers to parse every word and read every tea leaf for signs of where monetary policy is headed. The financial media dutifully repeat it all.

This isn’t to say that monetary policy does not or should not matter to investors. Obviously, the relationship between the cost of money and the pricing of assets like equities is an important one at any time.

As well, in the wake of the second most traumatic recession in a century, central bankers around the world reacted swiftly and dramatically, while fiscal policymakers have remained largely on the sidelines. So the orchestrations and deliberations within the Federal Reserve or the Bank of Canada seem to take on added significance.

Central bankers are the ones who have the power, after all. The relative good times in stock markets since 2009, and the admittedly limping recoveries of our economies, have more to do with easy money than with robust fundamentals. Understandably, we all want to know if and when that will change. That has made central bankers the unacknowledged financial legislators of the world, to paraphrase Shelley. And so we watch them, in something less than awe.

In fact, if monetary policy were a spectator sport, it wouldn’t be much of a show. Watching and waiting for central banks to return to more “normal” rates is kind of like sitting in the stands while a baseball game is in late extra innings. Like, the 27th inning. With no base runners. And no batters swinging for fear they’ll strike out.

After a while, spectators could be forgiven for heading home and catching the end of the game on the radio.

Not to complain, of course – God save us from entertaining central bankers. But the noise around them runs the risk of convincing investors of dangers and opportunities arising from monetary policy shifts that might not be there.

For instance, if you’re paying attention to all the speculation, you might easily forget that we are in an almost unbelievably long period of interest rate policy stability.

The U.S. federal funds rate has fluctuated mildly within zero and 0.25 per cent for seven years as of next month. This is not dramatic stuff. Compare that to the period between 1976 and 1984, when the Fed funds rate roller-coastered between five and 20 per cent.

It’s a similar story of relative stability here in Canada. Yes, there have been two cuts this year, but compared to the early ‘90s, when the benchmark rate fluctuated between 16 and four per cent, that’s nothing.

OK, so that’s history. What about December, when many are expecting the Fed to hike?

Well, yes, that could happen. But there are a couple good reasons not to freak out about it.

Yellen and other Reserve officials might not be models of consistency when it comes to their guidance on when they plan to raise rates. But they have been extremely consistent on one point: when rates begin to rise, it will be a gradual process.

It might not even be steady. First quarters of the year have become pretty awful in terms of U.S. GDP growth lately – it shrank in Q1 2014 and barely grew in Q1 last year. A hard winter that stops consumers from spending might prompt the Fed to delay further increases next year or even reverse a December rate hike, should it occur.

Meanwhile, we are likely to see interest rate stability from the Bank of Canada for a long time. The Bank’s language in the latest monetary policy report suggested that it had revised down its estimate of the economy’s potential. Lowered expectations mean less need for monetary juice. It would probably take a lot of bad news for Poloz to lower again.

As for raising rates, there is probably still too much weakness in the energy sector and in China – and too much of Canadians’ wealth tied up in the housing market – for the Bank to risk that anytime soon.

That means we may just see more of the same, with rate fluctuations within a narrow range, for the foreseeable future.

If that’s true, then investors might want to stop worrying so much about a couple things. One is the impact on emerging markets. They have been taking a beating all year in anticipation of a rise in U.S. rates. But if that rise doesn’t come, or if it is mild when it does, then those fears could well prove to be overblown. Any hit to emerging markets after a December Fed hike could end up being short-lived.

Other areas of investor concern over a rate increase – like utilities, telecoms, and other dividend payors – might turn out to be less angst-worthy than they now seem. Same goes for the housing market (whew!) and oil prices.

On the other hand, investors who are banking on rising rates to boost insurance and other financial stocks might be disappointed, as may gold bugs.

The point is, interest rate policy probably shouldn’t be the biggest worry on most investors’ minds these days. Surprisingly, it could turn out to every bit as dull as it looks.