What I'm Reading

Answers

Goose-Murdering Lunatic Worshipped as a "Hero"

At exactly 9:30 AM on January 15, 2009, a flock of unsuspecting geese was sucked into the engines of United Airways Flight 1549 out of New York's La Guardia airport. Karma, it seems, wasted no time catching up with the sinister aircraft, for it suddenly spiraled out of control and plunged into the icy water of the Hudson River. Save for the passengers and crew, there were no survivors.

Desperate for another "Joe the Plumber" to ruin Obama's historical day in the sun, the Right Wing Media is hailing the pilot of the Death Plane, Chelsey Sullenberger III, as a "hero". Excuse me, but if I moseyed on down to the local park and took a weed-whacker to a flock of endangered waterfowl, they'd lock me up and throw away the key - and rightly so. Indeed, in a sane, rational, progressyve world, Sullenberger would be frog-marched out of the airport in leg irons. Instead, he gets the key to the city and gushing adoration from the so-called "unbiased press". Worse of all, he shows absolutely no remorse for the lives he destroyed.

"After the crash, (Chauncy Goose-Slayer III) was sitting there in the ferry terminal, wearing his hat, sipping his coffee and acting like nothing happened," one eyewitness complained.

"That guy is one cool customer," a horrified airlines official wept. "He was...behaving like it was just another day at the office."

No shame. No guilt. No conscience. That's the mark of a true sociopath. Kind of reminds you of certain chimpy someone who is at this moment enjoying the last of his stolen days in the White House, doesn't it?

Sadly, both Charles Winchester III and George W. the Shrub will most likely never be tried for their crimes against either humanity or Anatidae. One can only hope that as investigators sift through the mangled, mutilated remains of the slaughtered geese, new evidence will come to light that will put both these murderous neocon bastards behind bars forever.

In view of this, we now see the error of our ways, and surrender. We're passing the hat to help rebuild the WTC, and are signing a card to apologize, in case anyone in the US took offense at our little prank.

I went to a bar to do so because psychologists always say that traumas should not be suffered alone.

In the bar I watched the TV with some other glum looking regulars.

I felt a wave of nostalgia when dear old Bill Clinton appeared and gave some womyn a friendly grope for old times sake. There is life in the old dog yet!

Al Gore looked cheefull, happy and as though he has not aged in the last 8 years.

Not so Dumbya, who has aged considerably and who looked relieved, as though the weight of the world was about to be lifted from his shoulders.

There was glimse of the man himself, the messiah, smiling nervously, like a new employee who needs much on the job training. My heart went out, a dreadful transformation behind him. Four years of Gaia knows what ahead of him. No Obama Derangement Syndrome
from this Moondog.

But when I saw that Joe Bidet fellow, grinning with a smirk that would have done IC proud, looking for all the world like Spiro Agnew, I beat a hasty retreat to the pool tables.

The massacres in Gaza are the latest phase of a war that Israel has been waging against the people of Palestine for more than 60 years. The goal of this war has never changed: to use overwhelming military power to eradicate the Palestinians as a political force, one capable of resisting Israel's ongoing appropriation of their land and resources. Israel's war against the Palestinians has turned Gaza and the West Bank into a pair of gigantic political prisons. There is nothing symmetrical about this war in terms of principles, tactics or consequences. Israel is responsible for launching and intensifying it, and for ending the most recent lull in hostilities.

Israel must lose. It is not enough to call for another ceasefire, or more humanitarian assistance. It is not enough to urge the renewal of dialogue and to acknowledge the concerns and suffering of both sides. If we believe in the principle of democratic self-determination, if we affirm the right to resist military aggression and colonial occupation, then we are obliged to take sides... against Israel, and with the people of Gaza and the West Bank.

We must do what we can to stop Israel from winning its war. Israel must accept that its security depends on justice and peaceful coexistence with its neighbours, and not upon the criminal use of force.

We believe Israel should immediately and unconditionally end its assault on Gaza, end the occupation of the West Bank, and abandon all claims to possess or control territory beyond its 1967 borders. We call on the British government and the British people to take all feasible steps to oblige Israel to comply with these demands, starting with a programme of boycott, divestment and sanctions.

Thanks for that Bennie. We now know why Universities have been called "glorified Lunatic Asylums". It would be nice to see a similar petition with the same names about the Congo or Sri Lanka, the signatories might then be taken seriously.

Yes, the irish took leave from their attempted dumbing-down of America, which benniedryl has decided to continue with the names of libtard professors from institutions that no one in their right minds would PAY to attend, but as long as the taxpayer is on the hook, no problem.

"We, The Undersigned, call on Israel and The United States to completely and utterly destroy all members of The Cult of Islam who think that their beliefs gives them the right to kill innocent people."

I don't think they'll be able to force those innocent Freedom Fyghters to stay up past their bedtime anymore either. That would be unimaginable torture - unlike being physically threatened by said Freedom Fyghters. That's well deserved on account of our refusal to bow to our Muslim overlords.

I don't know about any of you sore-losing neocons, but if the next Tax Collector In Chief says he's sorry for getting caught not paying his taxes, that's damn well good enough for me...

WASHINGTON – Treasury Secretary-designate Timothy Geithner said Wednesday he was careless in failing to pay $34,000 in Social Security and Medicare taxes earlier this decade but declared "I have paid what I owed" and apologized to Congress.

The personal hopes and faithful adoration of an entire nation - nay, an entire, climate-riddled world - have been written to this great, magnificent blank slate of a president we now have. We have not seen approval ratings this high since Bush after 9/11, but I have every confidence that President Obama will not squander that goodwill like his predecessor by making a lot of decisions and following through on them and whatnot.

...

I'm sorry, I was going to make a concerted effort to be as magnanimous and bipartisan as House Democrats and try to spit the bitterness of eight years of Republican carnage from my mouth. I truly was. But, did everyone see the story that Bush can't even be bothered to pack up after himself? The bastard had to leave his junk behind at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for President Tabula Rasa to have to deal with. So racist.