Author: Nadine Lollino

I started an early morning class at the yoga studio not because I’m an early bird, but because there was something I wanted to share. I used to enjoy going to Mysore classes from 7-9am, when I was practicing Astanga. At that time the class was also a “self-practice” class that meant it didn’t have to be the Ashtanga series, just a place for the student to come work on things with the eyes of a teacher nearby to ask questions of, receive feedback on alignment and any hands-on assisting.

I love teaching in the group setting, but I also am devoted to helping each student with where they are at, and creating an atmosphere that is more experimental, workshop-like, where the exchange between student and teacher is more fluid and interactive. I’ve been teaching a three hour workshop monthly for the past 13 years or so which is geared towards a more experienced student, one who can sit still for 25 minutes, and has an understanding of where they are at in their practice so to personalize their practice. I wish all classes could be three hours long, or maybe all classes could be one-on-one sessions. But alas, the time and resources are rarely there for such commitment, and so in remembering how much I benefited from the weekly self-practice classes I decided we’d give that a try. The class is called The Art of Practice.

The class starts at 7am on Fridays at Luma Yoga Center, Santa Cruz, but you can show up between 7-7:30am. The class goes til 8:20a but you can leave whenever you need to, to get to work, or if you just want a shorter practice. I’ve made some highly artistic stick figure drawings (not really) of poses and sequences that you can follow if you are not sure where to start. I’ve made one for low back health, one for a focus on twists, arms, and I’ll keep making more. I’ve got yoga flashcards (also handmade fantastic drawings) and a book of poses at your disposal.

Why is this an important class to consider attending? For me, it’s that this world is moving too fast, causing classes to be shorter, teaching to lack personalized attention. It’s that although we all have a humerus bone and a bicep tendon, we have vastly different stories. Different tightness, different injuries, different weaknesses, and yoga is a beautiful path to learning about ourselves and growing stronger, healthier and more grounded, and I’d love to participate in promoting that kind of yoga practice.

It’s okay if you don’t know how to sequence poses (good news, I’ll be there to help). Your practice doesn’t have to be clever or flowy, you can just do the poses. It’s okay if your scared because we always are when something is new and unknown, but the benefits are great. And lastly, the small group in attendance are all there with the cohesive intention of being in their practice, working on their world, and are always supportive of the group impulse to get up so early in the morning to face their practice.

I started reading Make Me One with Everything by Lama Surya Das, and I weekly read an astrology newsletter by Rob Breszny…. and the idea that stuck with me yesterday was to stop being in love with fear. Who would agree they are in love with fear? So I thought about how many moments in life are surrounded by some kind of fear. Fear of things not going well, not making enough money, fear that someone doesn’t like us, fear of not being happy… we might agree more with the word attachment, that we are attached to fear. Well, don’t we usually cling to the things we love and push away the things we don’t like? So maybe we are in love with fear.

Living life with awareness, wakefulness, consciousness is the opportunity to see things as they are, meeting them with equanimity (mental calmness, an evenness of temper). Meditation on and off the cushion is a choice to stay awake. To not just let ourselves fall in the patterns of fear but choose to stay present to the now that is happening. It doesn’t mean that things will feel nice, that bad things will just go away, it just means that instead of pushing at them to get away, where the strain makes things worse, we instead choose to just meet it all where it is which develops compassion. And we all know, once we can find it for ourselves, we are open to share it with others.

Different tools help us to practice this, seated meditation, taking a long walk, dancing til you fall over with exhaustion, drawing, singing, cooking, therapeutic bodywork, whatever works as a “salve” for you helps relax you and open up perception. So more of it! Get in in the calendar and make it as important as making the coffee in the morning. And so hard it seems, but easier the more we practice it….take it with throughout the whole day. Catch yourself falling back into fear, pause, smile at yourself sweetly, and carry on.

I decided about a year ago to make a dress adorned in 1000 cranes. The story of the 1000 cranes is of Sadako Sasaki, who was two years old when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima August 6, 1945. Exposed to the radiation of the bomb, at the age of twelve she was diagnosed with Leukemia and would die a year later. She folded 1000 origami cranes in the effort to grant her wish for life. At the Hiroshima Peace Park, remembering those who died from the effects of the bomb, a plaque reads, “This is our cry. This is our prayer. Peace on Earth.”
To complete 1000 cranes your wish is granted.

What is my wish? In folding the cranes, I feel this story of Sadako Sasaki, the need for peace, for us to recognize the preciousness of all human beings, of all beings, is imperative. May this dress represent peace.

The making of the dress

Paper:

Creating this dress has proved to be an extensive process. I needed to choose materials and colors. I decided on the colors of a Koi, red, orange and black. I am still playing with white or yellow. The paper needs to be strong enough to withstand being sewn onto the dress and also last through multiple wears and hopefully through travel. My first inclination was tyvek, like the folded wallets you can buy that feel like paper but they are strong tyvek, very hard to rip. I am still working on finding colored tyvek, as the process of purchasing and printing on tyvek seems an expensive endeavor.

So in the meantime, I decided on using paper and then making the paper stronger. Regular inexpensive origami paper is pretty cheap in feel and look. The more expensive paper feels more like fabric, but firstly, too expensive for the amount of paper I will need, and the normal designs on them were not in my vision of the dress. I wanted solid colors with a little pattern mixed in there. Since I normally work just with fabric, I did want the paper to look textured like fabric and rich in color. So I’ve been buying paper from the art stores and hand cutting 4×4 squares. I was advised to try spraying polyurethene on the cranes once they were folded to make them stronger and water proof. So I did an experiment with three different products, a drawing fixer spray, polyurethene, and gel medium (mod podge). The only one that was less ripable was the gel medium. And so this was the winner.

The dress structure:

I see the dress as having a strong structure and a full skirt. Like a ballroom, prom or wedding dress kind of shape. Since there was a lot of work ahead of me with this dress, I figured I should be able to thrift a dress and maybe just need to alter it for sizing. Well, without looking too long, I found myself on vacation in Nevada City and spotted the perfect dress for $25 that fit me perfectly!

UPDATE 9-24-18: Just beginning work on this dress again, but waiting to see if I receive a grant from the Santa Cruz Arts Council to help pay for materials. Will find out in December, so progress is slowed til then. But I have many cranes already cut and folded so I’ve begun sewing them onto the dress again.

UPDATE 2-4-19: Happy Chinese New Year! Year of the female brown pig. Ready to work hard and step into leadership. I didn’t get any of the grants I set out for, but that’s just fine, except for putting me behind schedule. I went and bought the rest of the paper in Japantown, San Francisco. I found a large stack of the most beautiful paper, hand printed. Here’s a photo of the paper. I have decided to make all the 1000 cranes before I do any other steps. I had originally decided to only use solid colors…until I found this paper. But now I’ll have 500 of solid colored paper and 500 of printed. I am not sure how I will want to pattern them out on the dress so better to wait til I complete them to lay them out in the best pattern. Attempting to fold 100 a week..the drawers are filling up. Oh, also realizing that the peace to come from the folding will benefit others, but it is creating a peace within myself, as the act of folding is very therapeutic. I look forward to what else comes from this journey.

I can’t take it anymore, can I tell you about my inquiries and discoveries in relation to the body, mind and spirit blah blah? I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want to share in hopes to inspire your inquiry into dance/movement as a vehicle of expression, understanding and healing. And not just dance, but the whole health of the body in relation to mind and spirit. This is not new, this is just a sharing of a path. It’ll be ramblings in ah-has about the body, the mind, the stories, the emotions, how dance/movement can set you free, can wake you up, things I have discovered and am still discovering through paying attention to how all the inside and outside experiences intermingle and what moving your body has to do with it all. I’ll offer exercises you can try on the dance floor, your living room floor, or your office chair to see what insights you gain. This body is an incredible machine, but its more than moving fluids and neural firings. And its damn important to our health and happiness. So let’s explore and use it.

I am a dancer. I like to dance. It makes me happy, it makes me feel excited to be me. My body feels clear of stress and emotional achiness. It feels like the stagnation clears. My mind gets a rest from perseverating and I get an answer from my intuition, or see things from a different perspective. I need space to dance, I need to play my music loud, I need to dance for at least one hour. Like any meditation the first 10-15 minutes is just rehashing the day, feeling tired, trying to talk myself out of dancing, thinking of other things I could be doing, its the time to settle in.

Then I’m in. Once I’m in I feel energized, it’s like a whole bunch of energy was stored in there, hiding, where does it come from? How can I jump and run as if I wasn’t just complaining about being tired? Then all sorts of emotions start to surface, like cleaning them out. Maybe pent up aggression, different things I’ve been holding onto, trying to work through. Dancing becomes like a detox of these emotions. And the stories, some stories that come up have to do with day to day struggles, fears, ideas, and others from movies or books, and even more stories from places I’m not sure where from.

Here’s an example: I discovered that some of the stories are dancing the “things I wanted to be when I grew up”. I always wanted to do martial arts, and I watch a lot of kung fu movies and anime, and when I dance, I often become a samurai and a tai chi master. I always wanted to be an astronaut, and so I consider that my interest in precision, alignment, discovery in the way of dance/movement may have to do with this. Oh and I always wanted to dance for Janet Jackson, MJ was a hero to me, and when I dance I become a solid gold dancer. I feel confident, sexy, and locked into the rhythm in the music. So then I’m wondering, what did you want to be when you grew up, and how does it manifest in your life today? Where is it hiding in how you live your life, how you work with others, what you do in your just for you time?

Dancing is deep, intensely personal, it’s also communal, joyful to be around others also working it out, using their body as a vehicle of expression. Dancing is educational of my inner journey and how I function in this outside world. Dancing connects me to music, rhythm and flow, which connects me to our roots, our histories, to the innate (inborne) medicinal magic of being the art driven soul creators. Did I just go to far off the deep end?

Thing is, you gotta do it a lot. We all know the daily practice is where we really see the ah-has. And not just for that moment, it’s in the consistency to show up on the dance floor, whether in your living room or in the studio where it starts really affecting us, affecting change. What do we want? To live in who we are, to follow our soul’s mission, to be happy, healthy? We are constantly reminded that suffering doesn’t end, illness and death still arise and take us away, people will still annoy us on some level, we will disagree with those we love….but in the waking up to whatever it is you wanna call it, we handle it all much better. We freak out less, we are less ruled and controlled by these fluctuations. That’s freedom. There’s freedom in the devil card in the Tarot, the key that unlocks those loose chains around your neck, it’s been in your hand the whole time. That hummingbird flying around freely in the Eight of Swords card is showing you that the way out of suffering is in your change of perspective. Don’t just think its a good idea, do it, don’t just smell the flower, be the flower. Just dance to the music and let it all unfold, refold, sparkle and shine.

Dancing is this.

LuLa and LuLa Lights Out at the Tannery
I offer space on sunday nights for you to dance. Remember making mixtapes? Its like that but without the tape. First half hour guest playlist from one of the participants, last hour I play my favorites, mostly hip hop and electronic but wherever it goes it’s danceable. I turn off the lights and light some fake candles, my partner Trey Donovan sets up the massive speakers and we dance on our own in Studio B at the Tannery World Music and Cultural Center (TWDCC). I need a space to dance, to play my music loud, to work it out in a consistent weekly manner, and if you do too, this is the place for you. Once a month Trey and I host LuLa (Lunar Landing), this is a two hour movement experience with live electronic music with various musicians including Trey. The first half hour is a guided warm up, Trey and I teach from our backgrounds in dance, yoga, meditation, sharing exercises that hopefully seem useful to the freeform dance session that is to follow. Verbalizing and experimenting with somatic and creative practices that help us be more in tune with our dancing body and its relation to everything else.