Yea, I flirt with other people and definitely look for hook ups. I haven't had sex with anyone else yet, but I have kissed another person.

Redpepper, thank you. That was so immensely helpful ... especially the part about just being allowed to blow up and telling your partner not to take you so seriously. It will be temporary. That is what I'm hoping for ... to transcend my own emotional scripts. To not be held hostage so much by my feeling abandoned ... to be more lighthearted about it. Thanks, you gave me a lot of hope.