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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

So this is what travel now requires....

I have achieved the impossible...air travel with two children (ages 3.5 and 1). Granted, I have spent far too much time and money achieving this goal. No longer is a car, a book on tape, and a box of Colorforms all you need to travel. It's gotten far more serious. You will need:

Go Go Babyz: As you're wheeling your child along like a piece of luggage, you will wish (as Mama J has previously stated) that you invented this and were charging $80 for it. You will also wish it didn't have such a stupid name so you don't have to make weird noises when people ask you what it is.

iPad: Yes, you can buy a far less expensive Leapster toy, but it won't be as cool for your kid (or you). Unfortunately, you'll need two, so you don't to have to fight over who is next to "make a cake."

Carseat Cover: So you don't have to rent a car seat that some other child has left bodily fluids in. And since I can't figure out the logistics of carrying two carseats through the airport - and I'm not buying ANOTHER of those Go Go wheelies - one carseat must get checked. At least checking it is free.

An Extra Seat on the Plane: It's pricey (although I think including the iPad, this short list of travel "accessories" has already topped $1000), this will allow your younger child to stand up backwards in their seat and make cute faces at the person behind you (and then in turn, they will play 2 hours of PRICELESS peekaboo with your child). And because they are standing up, it will also prevent them from kicking the seat in front of them.

A Bladder of Steel: You will worry so much about everyone else going to the bathroom, you will forget to go.

A Third-Party: My sister also traveled with us, so my husband and I didn't have to play man-on-man defense. Granted, this meant that before 7 AM my 3 year-old had a breakfast of chocolate milk, double chocolate "muffin" and M&Ms. He may not have been able to sleep on the plane, but with my sister along, I could!

Patience: Your child will lick the underside of a seat at the airport, will cry because their apple juice has ice, and will have to go to the bathroom immediately after the pilot says "we're next in line for takeoff." And your flight will be delayed.

We had a lovely time and my boys' faces as they hit the beach were priceless...but can we even call it vacation anymore?