I like how the only English in this one is what they copied directly from PSI's site

I'm going to formulate a reply with some REALLY big thesaurus words in it when I get back from sitting. If anyone has suggestions let me know!

Here is my first reply (I have multiple email addresses, so I'll just play with him from all):

I’m sorry but our business does not meet the following qualifications of yours:

* The sitter keeps regular office hours and responds to client inquiries and complaints promptly. * The sitting service screens applicants for employment carefully. (we don’t have any) * The sitting service provides initial and ongoing training for its sitters. (we don’t have any) * The sitter phones to confirm, or has the client phone to confirm, that the client has returned home.

*
The sitter exhibits courtesy and professionalism in all dealings with customers, staff

and industry colleagues to positively represent the pet sitter and the pet-sitting industry.
* The sitter is bonded and insured.
* The sitter provides references.
* The sitter visits the client’s home before the first pet-sitting assignment to meet

the pets and get detailed information about their care.
* The sitter displays a positive attitude during the initial meeting and is comfortable

and competent in dealing with the animals.
* The sitter is courteous, interested and well informed.
* The sitter wants to learn as much as possible about the animals in his or her care.
* The sitter has adequate knowledge and experience in caring for pets and is clearly

mindful of their safety and well being.
* The sitter takes precautions to make sure a client’s absence from home is not

detectable because of any careless actions or disclosures by the sitter.
* The sitter phones to confirm, or has the client phone to confirm, that the client has

returned home.
* The sitter conducts business with honesty and integrity and observes all federal,

state and local laws pertaining to business operations and animal care.
* The sitter keeps regular office hours and responds to client inquiries and complaints

promptly.
* The sitter has a veterinarian on call for emergency service.
* The sitter has a contingency plan for pet care in case of inclement weather or

personal illness.
* The sitter refrains from criticizing competitors.
* The sitting service screens applicants for employment carefully.
* The sitting service provides initial and ongoing training for its sitters.

I await your response if you are a reputable pet sitter.

Warmest Regards,
Peter Lugar

Lilypie

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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As a commissioner of this pet sitting business I to no degree speculate and portray our business productivity measures as handled perfectly. The representatives of this venture, including myself would postulate that as a measure of being human we all make mistakes in our capacity as breadwinners. However I have come to the conclusion that our track record is bordering on impeccable.

We do offer the vast majority of the services you have specified in the proceeding submission. We can accommodate very broad requests, and trust you will ring or text or email us again soon with your service requirements so that we can provide you with more definitive details about our company and respond with the most appropriate information to your most pressing questions.

Can't forget to mention that you will be sending them a check as "proof" of your incorporated business structure, which they must cash upon receipt and then return 90% of said contents of check in US dollars to you therefore allowing them to maintain the remaining 10% as a token of your now newly developed relationship.

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