The Emoji Movie Sucks In Every Possible Way

The Emoji Movie Has Critics In Despair

Whoever greenlit The Emoji Movie is having a rough day. The animated film has earned the distinction of sub-10 rating on Rotten Tomatoes — a clean 3%. (Earlier today, the score was at 0%, but it has since received some pity kindness from reviewers. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes.) The movie follows the "meh" emoji, voiced by the equally meh T.J. Miller, as it tries to find meaning in a digital world. Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph, and Patrick Stewart also star in the film. Stewart voices the poop emoji, which is something I'd actually watch, but not in the form of an 86-minute movie.

This summer has served some of the best movies of the year — Wonder Woman, Dunkirk, and Girls Trip, to name a few — so maybe we were ripe for a real stinker. Whatever it is, critics are ripping into the movie with glee, and the reviews are delicious.

Glenn Kenny of The New York Times didn't mince words: "The whole thing remains nakedly idiotic. To add to the pain and despair of the experience, The Emoji Movie is preceded by a short, “Puppy,” featuring the characters from the “Hotel Transylvania” animated movies. It is also idiotic."

Vox's review is pure vitriol — reviewer Alissa Wilkinson resorts to chastisement. "Everyone involved should be ashamed," she writes. She even chastises herself: "Looking back, it seems so obvious. We should have seen The Emoji Movie's utter awfulness coming."

The general consensus — at least how we see it — is that The Emoji Movie is the canary in the coal mine of the cinematic apocalypse. The end of days is coming, and it starts with T.J. Miller playing the "Meh" emoji in a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad movie.

That being said, not everyone hates the movie so much. The Associated Press called it "not evil," which is very kind of them to say.