Elmer the Bull Was a Complete Asshole to His Family

Chris Piers December 6, 2016
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Have you heard of Elmer the Bull? Even if you don’t think you have, you’ve probably seen him. He’s the mascot for Elmer’s Glue. Back in the 1940s, a company named Borden made a lot of dairy products and created a mascot named Elsie the Cow. She was ridiculously popular and she eventually started having comic books, animated TV ads and magazine pictorial stories about her and her family. Elmer was her husband. The magazine ads were sort of like comics telling you why you need to buy their products. And they frequently began with Elmer absolutely losing his shit over something, running around yelling or waving guns while Elsie stood by with a smile telling him to calm down. In the above comic Elmer ruins a family dinner by suggesting Elsie regrets marrying him. Just ruining things out of nowhere. That’s his M.O.

It’s pretty crazy. Here’s some of the ads I could find.

Elmer runs around the house with a shotgun, ranting about how he’s going to shoot the “black market.”

Elmer comes home from work to find a celebrity pitching stuff. He’s furious about it.

Elsie mentions her parents are coming to visit. Elmer stomps out of the house, prepared to leave forever rather than deal with in-laws. His daughter tugs at his tail, begging him not to abandon the family.

Elmer is furious at the very thought of not outliving all his family. He insists he will live past 100 without any help from Elsie.

Elmer is furious at this guy because he’s out of ice cream. Elsie tries to calm him down by explaining there are shortages during war-time but the salesman doesn’t help himself when he tells Elmer he’s a “fatso” who doesn’t need it anyway.

Elsie suggests they could take separate vacations but Elmer’s expression makes it clear that, no, the entire family is going along while he sits around fishing dammit.

Even though Elsie found a free hat, Elmer is absolutely irate that he wasn’t consulted first.

Elmer finds it absolutely scandalous that his wife suggest she is better than him at something. Time to run and lock the bathroom door.