Wednesday, August 17, 2011

honestly,i'm not supposed to be here updating my blog and all,considering how my finals are just around the corner,but the thing is,i've been bottling this up for far too long (take 48 hours of not telling anyone how I feel,i'm not like that).it's not my first time being far too deluded about a crush,but i get carried away everytime i feel that i actually stand a chance.sometimes i think i should just give up and walk away.being forever alone doesn't sound too bad to me anymore,better than being in a forced relationship where you're obligated to love someone just because you guys have this temporary 'mutual' feelings for each other.it eventually ebbs and flows,my concern is that how long will it last?

enough about the negative side of my feelings.let's talk about yesterday.in short,it was terrific.i had a productive day of studying and spent most of the time making music and chatting with the Elites.'he' was there too.apparently everyone knows how i feel about him except himself.i was actually hoping the hours we spend together would actually reveal the ugly side of him,of which would make me fall out of love.i prayed hard.

but for some reason,God gave me the opposite.He showed me all his perfections within his imperfections.i know it's too overboard to keep a checklist to rate a guy's perfection,then again i still have it,although all the items vary with time and current needs.of course,i won't be revealing mine,but i can show some of the items he managed to fulfill.

He is almost perfect because he is:
(/)Funny << he did crack a lot of jokes and poked almost everyone in the gang.
(/)Sensitive << he cares about his mom having iftar alone at home.
(/)Spiritually-fulfilled << he puts religion before anything else.
(/)Musically-inclined << well duh,he plays guitar.
(/)Intelligent
(/)High common sense.
()Friendly to everyone.

How can i not love this guy?Then again,he treats everyone the same way,he's just naturally friendly to everyone as long as he's comfortable with a particular person.It's hard to tell if he feels the same way.It's hard for HIM to tell if i feel that way for him too,i don't quite show it.I have a tendency to give out mix signals.

What are the odds of us having 'mutual crush' on each other anyway? You know what,i'm walking away for now,and i'll only turn back if you run after me and tug on my hand,or catch me when i fall.