If, in the last few hours, you’ve seen a photo of a woman puffing on a blunt the size of your thumb — a woman who looks an awful lot like Miley Cyrus (or Pink or Susan Powter or Dennis the Menace for that matter), Miley Cyrus would like you to know that it isn’t her.

She also didn’t caption the photo “High as f*ck,” and as for the Instagram account from which it apparently sprang, “MileyxxCyrus,” she’s never met this Mileyxx, but probably pities the poor soul for going through life with such an unwieldy name.

Dude’s parents were clearly jerks.

After spazzing that her Twitter “timeline was blowing up” — her followers freaking over the pot-smoking pic — Cyrus cleared up the minor scandal. “I don’t have an Instagram,” she wrote.

Pro-tip: People follow you because they love seeing photos of celebrities. Indulge them. Share pictures where you’re hanging out with other celebrities — but make sure they’re significantly older, or just weirder looking than you.

Pro-tip: If you’re going to share selfies, only photograph half of your face. Maintain the charade of mystery and privacy, even as you broadcast your intimate moments to the world. Leave the fans wanting more.