Articles from December, 2011

A few years ago, I took a seminar called, "Raising Strong and Confident Daughters." My husband laughed at me. "Could our daughters be any stronger or more confident?"
The class was an eye-opener for me, not just in how to raise my girls, but also in understanding my own Chinese-American childhood. I had no memory of dealing with a lot of the issues the instructor talked about as being so important to pre-adolescent girls, such as friendship and physical appearance.
At first I thought that I must have been just so low on the social totem pole—because of race and nerdiness—that I had given up hope of competing in those arenas; I never even tried. Read more »

In the beginning it was about wanting a baby. I desperately wanted a baby. Every single cell in my body was screaming to be pregnant. My late twenties and all of my thirties were dedicated to the goal of getting pregnant. I loved my husband and was sure that this pregnancy, and its inevitable outcome, a living child, would be the greatest fulfilled expression of love between us. Read more »

Welcome Souad and Jan!
Where are you from?
Souad: I am Algerian.
Jan: I am from Germany. I was born in the middle, grew up in the North then moved to the South, but I consider myself a Northerner.
Where do you currently live and what countries have you lived in together?
Souad: We have been living in England for eight years. Before that, we lived in France together for three years. Read more »

My first Christmas with my Ethiopian children came 10 months after they were officially adopted into our family. During the year we settled in, we learned that one of our daughters was still heavily grieving the loss of her mother two years earlier. One of the most difficult struggles for Ella was that she was starting to forget her mother’s face. Read more »

This contest is now closed. Congratulations to Annice Johnson for winning the calendar and Laura Barta for winning the map!
There are so many good things happening that we have not one but two giveaways. We’re celebrating reaching 1000 Facebook friends, plus it’s the holidays for many people so it’s good timing. It’s a feel good season all around. Read more »

When it comes to raising a bilingual child, I have several beliefs about how you can waste your time. I think it’s a waste of valuable second language reinforcement time if you don’t watch movies in the minority language, read books and listen to music in that language and most of all, have a babysitter or nanny in that second language. I would also never pay for private school if that education is not in another language. Read more »

As I write this piece I am sitting in a health clinic that my daughter and I attend. When we were here yesterday, a woman who suffers from the same condition remarked how badly her mother felt at having passed it on to her (our condition is genetic). Before I had a moment to think, I blurted out that I didn’t feel badly. Don’t get me wrong--I hate seeing my daughter in pain and like any mother I would love to remove the word "suffering" from my child’s life. Read more »

The Hopi Indians, who have lived in the highlands of northern Arizona for over a thousand years, divide their calendar into 12 months with different ceremonies in each month. December is the month where the katsinas or kachinas, the spirits that guard over the Hopi, come down from their world at the winter solstice or Soyal (also referred to as Soyaluna and Soyalangwu). Read more »

Snakes are an important symbol for the Hopi Indians and make an appearance during the winter solstice ceremony, called Soyal. Although information about many of the Hopi rituals is scarce and hard to verify since so many ritual dances are closed to the public, tribal chiefs are said to make offerings and prayers to an effigy of a black plumed snake during the winter solstice, (although the main Hopi snake celebration is in August). Read more »

Around 10 years ago, I stopped celebrating Christmas with my family. I opted not to travel from New York to Florida and spent three days cleaning my apartment. I was sad to not partake in the ritual, but consumerism and my sister-in-law’s large family hijacked my Christmas Eve; I felt no desire to be part of it.
Cubans don’t really celebrate Christmas Day (well, in Cuba they definitely don’t). Read more »

Marisa Eide’s first date with Imran Ashraf was at an Ethiopian restaurant. Imran thought the date went really well so he asked Marisa out again and she happily agreed. They’ve been inseparable ever since. After dating for two years Marisa, who was born in California and Imran, born in Karachi were married on a crisp summer morning in Berkeley in 2005. Read more »

The Sunday after Thanksgiving: The day we pack up, gratefully drive back to our own home in our own town with our own way of doing things, and are stuck in the car together for hours and have no choice but to talk to each other. It is a time to reflect on the (peculiar) people we met and the (wacky) things that happened, and it is a chance to talk to the kids about what is really important to us as a family. Read more »

I had tried to hold out on the older Latina nannies in the park knowing I spoke Spanish. As long as we spoke in English our relationship was kept shallow, limited by their vocabulary. They would ask about my day and coo over my infant but that was about it. I knew that once they knew about me, I would never again be alone for better or for worse. While I occasionally listened into their conversations in order to entertain myself while the baby dug in the sandbox, I also appreciated the lack of forced socialization. Read more »

I've been in Germany Ten years now, Lived in Frankfurt and Stuttgart, specifically Leonberg. In Frankfurt I was shocked by how unfriendly the People were, how aggressive their Drivers, but in Leonbe...From Are Germans Really Rude?

At DreamAfrica, we are a streaming app for animations and films from around the world. We celebrate cultural representation in digital media and invite you to download and share our DreamAfrica appp...From What We Are Not About

Imagine those people who work at your typical IT Department, yeah those weirdos with low EQ, no manners, no social skills; indeed those who kiss the bosses' ass when it's convenient, but get offend...From Are Germans Really Rude?

I contacted the editor of this magazine (Stephanie) and she told me she'd inform Jan about this article.
I have since changed my mind about going to Germany because of Merkel's policies, and this i...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@Daniela
You speak BS, you have never seen Franconia, or you're a Franconian girl. In the second case, I know that no intellectual conversation could be made with Franconian people, because you'r...From Are Germans Really Rude?

I'm back. Sorry, I stopped caring for this magazine for a while and forgot to discuss the meat of the matter.
This article, as well as the linked article from 2011, fails to discuss cultural norms ...From What Confused Me Most about Brits

Fascinating. I have been to Germany and met this guy who was soo rude! This article explains everything!! Since all Germans are so terribly rude it should come as no surprise that I should have met ...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@ Josep. How could you possibly comment on how Germans treat people if you have never even been there? A three-day stay in Berlin and a one day stop-over in Frankfurt was enough for me to see the ut...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@Oceania
To me it looks like you're demonstrating the same kind of rudeness you (claim to) condemn. Please open your mind a little and stop living in the past. New Zealand has its own problems as w...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@Joseph
Dear Joseph, If you were never in Germany, why do you think you can preach me on experiences almost every other expat had in here? I wrote that post 4 years ago, and what my toughts were ...From Are Germans Really Rude?

I think, in general, Deutschland struggles with emotional intelligence. It's been repressed and underrated for so long that it's atrophied somewhat. Reminds me of an interesting study recently, in w...From Are Germans Really Rude?

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[…] Raising a Little Buddha – Part 1, InCulture Parent — Post by a Buddhist Minister about raising an enlightened child. It starts with intimacy, communication, and community. [R...From How to Raise an Enlightened Child — Part I

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[…] What’s Easter without a Whipping?, InCulture Parent — a post about the Czech tradition of men and boys whipping women on Easter. I found this very troubling. [̷...From What’s Easter without a Whipping?

I have been living in Germany for about 8 or 9 months now, and a lot of these comments are absolutely spot on. I came here from the US, having heard of none of these "negative stereotypes," (I actua...From Are Germans Really Rude?

I'm in a choir at my church, and one of our new members is very pushy. We don't expect her to be perfect (and she's not!) but she seems to hover, making sure our music is in order, bringing arm load...From Are Germans Really Rude?

It is very difficult to deal with swabian in laws.
They don't like expressing affection and tend to be critical.
I gave up on trying to please them when I am feeling lonely, empty and hopeless. D...From Are Germans Really Rude?

I don't intend to come off as rude myself. I've never been to Germany before, but these generalisations are unacceptable, especially since many others (not in this site, of course) have had positive...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@M. White
Was he mistreating you? If not, then don't divorce. Ask him what's considered polite and what's not. Please read about cultural differences before lumping all Germans as rude. Sure, some ...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@Jill
Don't give up too easily. Study the culture a little, learn the language, and treat them with respect. Maybe then you might have a better time. Sorry about your experience.
I've never been t...From Are Germans Really Rude?

@Tonya
It's usually not a good idea to smile at strangers. Germans usually smile towards family members and close friends. Maybe you just had a bad experience. Sorry to hear about tha...From Are Germans Really Rude?