This is actually my wife. I was bothering her about going to the beer
store while she was trying to get ready for bed. She came out of the
bathroom, and this is what I got. I never did get the beer, at least not
that night. High-Five!!

I drew the original version of this at Coppell High School in 1989. I was forced to go to AE, Alternative Education, for
being late to first period. Mr. Downey, then-principal, took this from me and tried to convince my mom that I was
a full-fledged Satanist. That guy was a loon. Anyway here it is, wear with pride and enjoy.

Who out there doesn't agree? This is almost like a law or something. I have worked in various bars, restaurants, etc., over the years and the blondes always come out way, way ahead in tips. Ask any topless dancer about this, they will tell you the exact same thing, every night, every time.

It's just that easy. I wore this to my local electronics superstore recently, and I couldn't get anyone to help me. I wore it to a bar later that night, and it was a different story entirely. Gotta love it!!

I once worked with this little troll guy named Mark Glover selling fitness equipment, and one day he said this. Two weeks later I was wearing this shirt. When you're around really stupid people just be quiet and listen. Funny stuff always comes out, especially when they are beyond fucking dumb.

If you knew her, you would know this to be true. My wife told me a story about how one afternoon she was at her mom's house in the office on the computer. Her mom came home with her boyfriend Richard and took him into her bedroom where they proceeded to have extremely loud sex. The office and bedroom share a wall, and from the bed to where my wife was sitting is only about six feet.
Furthermore, the grandkids were there, and the oldest one heard it as well. It only lasted a few
minutes but still, very gross. This was only about five years ago. Not to mention everything I have seen
and heard, first hand. A couple Mike's Hard Lemonades, a joint, and you're as good as laid.

I once had a boss who was a card-carrying member of Mensa. One day I saw him running around a parking lot in the rain trying to get better reception on his cell. I was the one on the phone with him and was standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant under the awning, nice and dry. He quite literally did not have enough sense to come in out of the rain.
I thought this saying fit the occasion perfectly. I still laugh every time I see this one. You know you can relate.

Again, 18-25 were really good years for me. This line worked more often than not. I know it sounds funny,
but if you had the balls to say this, you were guaranteed to get noticed. If one turned you down, you just
moved on to the next. As long as I got an early start the odds were in my favor. Now you don't need to say it,
just wear it. No thanks necessary, just my way of giving back. Happy Hunting...

Being a musician I have had many people, friends, etc. ask me to come and watch their bands play, usually at some crappy little club with way overpriced drinks. Now when that happens, I wear this to the show. With all the white, it looks great under black lights. I promise, you will get noticed.

I drew the original version of this at Coppell High School in 1989. I was forced to go to AE, Alternative Education, for
being late to first period. Mr. Downey, then-principal, took this from me and tried to convince my mom that I was
a full-fledged Satanist. That guy was a loon. Anyway here it is, stick with pride and enjoy.

This is actually my wife. I was bothering her about going to the beer
store while she was trying to get ready for bed. She came out of the
bathroom, and this is what I got. I never did get the beer, at least not
that night. High-Five!!