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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013 Style Sex

No really everyone is going to do it differently in 2013. Why? Because everyone wants to do it better!!!! So here's my top ten on better sex in 2013. Its not to late to add in a little sexy resolution. I won't tell if you don't tell!

Sexy Journal Naked!!!

Yes, yes yes. Keep a sexy journal in 2013 and do it naked! Write down all those naughty thoughts that make you blush or that you are too afraid to speak. Explore yourself, explore your sexuality and do it all in the buff, naked, nakie, in the bared cookie, nude. I'll bet within 3 months you're having more sex, in 4 months better sex and in 6 months thinking of journaling professionally online with all your naughty thoughts.

So here we go with ten starters for you...

1) Get your kinky on. I don't care what it is, as long as it's legal, explore it!!! Listen if you want to have crazy monkey sex in a hot tub full of pistachio pudding with the Las Vegas version of Elvis wearing a tutu and singing Blue Suede shoes, then go for it! Why? Because who gives a shit, there is someone else out there that wants exactly the same thing or a complimentary thing as you do. Your Elvis is out there, so is the chef who wants to make that pistachio pudding, and a housekeeper who can't wait to get their hands into that hot tub and might want to join you and Elvis in it and the Karaoke Bar Owner who gets a woody every time they hear Blue Suede Shoes.

2) Get your voice and be prepared to be heard. Speak people. Put down the blackberry, look into your lovers face and speak! Don't you even think of talking about the weather or work, speak about sex. Ask, Listen, Learn/Understand and Respond. These are the basics of a conversation. For some reason we ask what someone wants or needs and the conversation ends there. No, this is not hearing or being heard. Ask what turns your lover on, Listen to their response, Understand exactly what they desire and Respond in turn.

3) Get outside the box. As in outside the bedroom, or outside the house. Maybe even outside the yard! Explore your surroundings as you explore your sexual desires. Sex can happen in so many places and intimacy or foreplay can happen in even more places. On your next dinner out, casually mention to your lover that you've been using your Luna Beads and they happen to be inside you right now. That will give him or her something to think about throughout dinner. If you can bend over in a skirt you can have sex. I know, it's awful and cheeky of me to suggest getting it on in the elevator.

4) Get off your back. Explore some sexy positions, what a great reason to start a yoga class and talk about dual purpose! Seriously. Take a look at your sofa, or coffee table and imagine all the positions that could be done on those awesome little pieces of furniture. Find yourself fantasizing about all the different ways your household furniture can bring you and your lover closer together, in more ways than one.

5) Get sex off the calendar. Be spontaneous. Be adventurous and stop with the old Thursday romp whether you want it or not. Seriously, if you want to spice up your sex life the quickest way to do it is to stop with the routine.

6) Get to the fun stuff. Do you bore yourself to sleep? Are you as entertaining or engaging as a box of rocks? Are you as serious as a heart attack? You do know that taking yourself too seriously means you are missing out on a lot of laughs and some opportunities for intimacy with your lover. If you find yourself always focused on some "major" thing you cut yourself off from the life (and sex) that is and could be happening right in front of you. So lighten up, your problems will be there until you deal with them, but your loved ones cannot be neglected.

7) Get assertive. Assertiveness is a fabulous thing. It means you can say no to those things that and obligations that tend to creep in on your intimate time. Assertiveness in the bedroom and regarding all things sexy is a sign of confidence and is super sexy. So learn to say no and mean it and learn to go for what you want. Of course as long as it's with a willing & consenting partner.

8) Get intimate. Spend a few moments each day being intimate with your lover, or with yourself. Why not? What is it really going to hurt to go the long eye gaze, or that self exploratory slide or rub in the bubble bath? Intimacy starts with communication and honesty so once these two things are in line, intimacy becomes quite second nature. Happy couples all over the world will tell you that their sex lives correlate with their level of intimacy. Intimacy comes in many forms, talking, touching, cuddling, kissing etc... so stop worrying about why you're sex life is lagging and start to pay attention to intimacy.

9) Get involved. I used to live the term separate but together, then I divorced it. Separate but together is a misnomer and a fallacy. Oil and Water can be separate but together in the same glass, and we have the same reaction, they just don't mix well. You cannot expect a healthy, happy relationship if your are in a relationship and one is oil while one is water, it just doesn't mix. So if your relationship is worth keeping, then it's worth getting involved in your partners interests, life and extra curricular activities.

10) Get active. I know some of you out there reading this made a resolution to either "get healthy" or "lose weight". Don't deny it, I made it too. But this year, I plan on doing something a little differently. I've decided to find activities that are sexy. What better reason to get up and go to exercise class if you know that it's going to make you feel sexy and perform better sexually? So my top 3 activities for the ladies in 2013 are: