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NOTICE TO WOMEN WHO DON'T DO TATTING,
FENCING WITH HATPINS OR GUM CHEWING
Your Wanted as a Gymnasium Instructor at West Park No. 1.
According to the West Park
commission there is a scarcity of
athletic girls in Chicago. The
commission ought to know, for it
held an examination for gym
nasium instructors at West Park
No. 1 yesterday. T,he examina
tion was barren of results. There
are not enough girls to fill the
places open this month.
The examiner, after putting the
girls through a quiz, was in
despair. No wonder, for some of
the questions and answers went
something like this :
"Well, young lady, you want a
position. What Is your special
ty?" .-.
v She was a blond, and a peach.
She ought to have been accepted.
"In my line I am without a
peer," she answered, unhesitat
ingly. "I am the cha:mpion gum
chewer of -my ward ,and I can
chew and talk at the same time.
When it comes "
"Indoor or outdoor champion ?"
queried the examiner, acting
rather -wriggley. This was a new
one on him.
"Outdoor," was the answer.
"I am sorry, this is an indoor
class. You'll have to learn an
other specialty."
The next candidate appeared
very confident, and she just didn't
see how she could lose. A cinch.
"Women must be able to pro
tect themselves these days," she
began. "Every man pushes them
away from the car door, and when
they are lucky enough to at
aboard they are stepped on."
"Quite true, quite true," sooth
ed the examiner, "but this is not
a suffrage meeting. Can you skin
the cat?"
"The idea," indignantly. "I
think that would be perfectly hor
rid. How do the poor things
stand it. I am an instructor in
hatpin fencing, and you would be
surprised to see the respect I can
inspire with a five-inch hat spike."
The examiner ducked under a
desk. He was willing to take her
word for it.
"Is she gone?" came in muffled
tones from under the desk. -She
wont do. We're not recruiting an
Amazon army."
The interrogator emerged
when he had "been assured the
lady had departed. He was still
a little shaken, but the demure at
titude of the next candidate reas
sured him.
"Please, sir, I am not an ath
lete. I am instructor in tatting.
It is wonderful exercise."
The examiner looked blank.
"Tatting? Tatting? Is that some
kind of gossip ? There is no need
for instruction in that direction.
Elucidate."
"Please, sir; you see, tatting is
taking little strands of crochet
silk, and making two holes grow
where none grew before. It is
too, too interesting."
N "Two holes, where " the quiz-
zer was nonplussed. Young
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