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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Of Non-Dreams and Aliens: A Personal Tale

Johann Heinrich Fussli The Nightmare oil, 1781

This is the kind of stuff that annoys a lot of people (particularly skeptics; but then again, everything annoys them) but I can’t help that. It’s what it is. It’s part of the UFO Gestalt, it’s a part of my story, my experience, my journey. Yeah, I know, it sounds a bit New Agey to me too. Well, so what? It’s true, and there you are.

I’ve always had an active dream life, as I’ve written before. Last night I had a strange dream -- or, “non-dream” -- I’ve never had this experience before.

When I dream, it’s always an active, involved, busy thing: a plot (no matter how surreal or ludicrous) people, creatures maybe, I’m a part of it, I’m out of it watching, point of view always changing; but always I see people. (“I see dream people.”) There’s always a scene, a picture.

Last night, I dreamt, but there was no picture. None. Very weird. The words were active; there were voices, but no picture. Just the swirling colors of utter abstractions; just like when you close your eyes and you don’t see anything except the mish mosh of colors.

The dream story was about aliens; which were everywhere. Invisible, but everywhere. Then a voice was telling me that “much of my whole UFO thing” started with ‘Scott ‘(I’ll call him that, an old boyfriend of mine) and we had an experience together. And the voice said “Remember that blue light and silver craft?” and at the moment the voice said that, I said “Shit!” because it all came back to me. At this same moment the murky non-picture began to turn into something a little bit; on the upper right corner of the ‘screen” part of the UFO began to come through the haze (a silver round craft) and with it, part of an alien. This alien was a tall “gray.” I knew without any hesitation at all that this voice, reminding me of an event with “Scott,” was true.

I didn’t like this one damn bit and woke up, scared, very uncomfortable.

I told my husband about this dream. After a long silence, with him staring off into space (“Great,” I thought. “Here we go again, where this will all go nowhere, or turn into a tension filled morning. . .” which sometimes happens when we try to talk about our experiences) he says “I often wonder if I should find out about regression.” Then he brought up our first missing time experience, once again saying how very odd it all was. “I don’t see how a space ship could be the cause, not in L.A.” he said. Excellent point. Then again, we know better.

I realized too, that none of my dreams involving aliens are good. The aliens are not kindly beings here to help us. At best, they’re coldly detached, and maybe even outright malevolent. This feeling of malevonence could be my own fear at remembering the whole experience, and not an accurate depiction of “them." Or, it could be them, indeed. Of course, none of the this could have a damn thing to do with UFOs or alien beings (extra terrestrial or otherwise.)

My husband said something else this morning; that one weird experience could be chalked up to just one of those things. “But look at the pattern,” he said. “Look at the history here.”

After that first missing time experience in West Hollywood (where we arrived home at 4:00 am, looked at each other and said “Well, that’s weird!” then just went promptly to bed, where we didn’t wake up once until 4:00 pm the next day) I began having all kinds of UFO dreams, including what I call “The Geisha Woman” dream. (tall, white gray face “woman” in a kimono sitting across from me inside a spaceship. I’m very angry but also scared; they took my husband away and “they” are keeping us apart.) This was before Budd Hopkins, Strieber, etc.

He went on: “Then that second time on Lorane Highway, with the silver craft, and the orange orb, and missing time, and your dreams. . .”

Yes.

Well, there it is. What is means, I don’t know. But it seems that, among other things, this connection, or these experiences, go back a long way.

Jeremy Vaeni asked me why I don’t just come out and admit I’m an abductee. After all, look at the history, beginning in childhood, look at the pattern and relationship with my husband, look at my passion here with UFOs. I’m clearly trying to find out something.

And yet, I’m visiting the Nile, apparently.

However, I cannot say “I’m an abductee” and have never said so. (despite the insistence of a few trolls out there who say such things on their website) I have no memory of seeing aliens, or being abducted. Dreams, while exceedingly interesting and useful, aren’t enough to base that conclusion on. And while the sum of my experiences point to something Fortean/paranormal/possibly alien, I can’t make that assumption.

It’s possible there’s been some kind of relationship with these beings/UFOs that doesn’t translate to “abduction.” Maybe some people are “programmed” to remember their relationships as abductions, maybe they are two different things, maybe it’s the government playing mind control games.

So for now, I’ll just continue to do what I’m doing, and see where it takes me.

2 comments:

I did recieve your comment, which was much appreciated.I have been visiting your blog almost everyday and you always have something great to say, especially your latest post regarding UFO abduction. I was thoroughly convinced for a long time I was an abductee, but I also grew up in a haunted house and I think that I started to see a correlation between the two and have been working to complete a hypothesis regarding the posssibility that the two are related. It's a bit out there, yes, but I am just glad to see that there are intelligent like-minded individuals I can tow the line with.

Your comments about living in a haunted house are interesting; I'm intrigued by the relationship of aliens/UFOs and hauntings. There are some experiences out there that combine the two; even Strieber talks about this in one of his books. (I think, if I remember right.) I know of a family that has a very strong paranormal "life" that follows them, (various relatives move, and the phenomena goes with them) which includes, not only ghosts, etc. but UFOs and Bigfoot.

"There's an old saying; just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean they're not out to get you. I have my own variation: just because you're insane that doesn't mean that things aren't slipping in unnoticed through dimensional gateways..." ~ Christopher Knowles

Why the name Orange Orb?

I have had many UFO sightings and experiences, which began in childhood. One sighting in particular was dramatic enough -- it was the one that started me on this path -- and was the inspiration for the title of this blog:

In the 1980s I and my husband observed a craft, lit from within. It appeared to follow us for some time; it, in fact, appeared to be waiting for us and responded to my thoughts. It was intelligent; intelligently controlled. Whether that control came from within or without, I don't know. I don't know if the orb itself was sentient (I had a feeling it was, somehow) or the orb was just a tool used by other entities. Possibly those entities were human; that I don't know. Missing time accompanied this sighting, as did dreams that followed that were very scary -- so much so I sought out a therapist to deal with the severe anxiety caused by the dreams. The dreams:

I'm standing in a brilliant beam of white light, so blinding I can almost see through things. I can't move, no matter how hard I try, and I am trying with every single cell, every nerve, all my will, but no use. Above me is something metallic, dome or round shaped, covering much of the sky. I am furious for my husband is up there, and I demand of "them" to tell me where he is, let me see him, and, answers! I want answers! But they don't care, and keep me frozen inside this beam.

I have written about my UFO experiences at length on-line and in print, and have discussed it on various podcasts. Sites like UFO Magazine, UFO Digest, Future Theater's podcast with Bill and Nancy Birnes, and my blog Saucer Sightings, among others, contain more about the "orange orb" sighting.

Despite Imbrogno's "scandal" -- he lied about his credtionals -- his ideas are worth considering. While not new ideas at all, they are still considered fringe by many inside the fringe itself. No, I'm not condoning Imbrogno's lies, I'm s...

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