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In many instances truth holds little weight. For many have either fallen so deeply in love with the lies of illusion or hate so heavily that that which actually is means next to nothing. If it fails to tug at one’s emotion or plays with one’s mental, the ye simply captures one of two pictures- The prettiest or the most horrific. A grey area raises doubt and no one wants to doubt their “öz” when it comes to perceiving what is true and what is false.

Just recently I was asked by a C.O. (Düzeltmeler Görevlisi) if what they had heard about me on the internet was true. Without bothering to answer, I asked two (2) questions of my own:

1. Neden?

2. If I said no and that I was one of many falsely accused and wrongfully convicted would he believe me?

His mouth drew closer to my cell door, whispering into the siding, he spoke, “You seem like a cool guy, not like what ‘they’ say.”

O zaman, anında, he hurried away. C.O.s are instructed to keep emotional distance from inmates. Somewhere along the line, the C.O. had allowed me to become human. I suppose this was his answer to question #1. Soru #2 I assume a bit too personal.

“Not like what they say,” that statement kept playing in my head. Who were they? More importantly, who were they to give accounts of my person? Was their goal to paint the most horrific picture with the prettiest words?

The grey area is where they hide me. Unable to deliver my truth, so instead I’m left to suffer the effects of their lies. Without any firsthand knowledge of who I am or what my world consists of, people read these one-sided accounts and perceive me to be all that they have written. For no man is without sin, yet my sins are sensationalized in a novel-like description to make me appear barbaric. One of the earth’s most wretched.

Why has it become more suitable for people to view someone other than their “öz” as everything they are not?