Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Mommy's dilemma

The biggest dilemma for ladies around my age, who just started a family and is expanding (physically, financially, socially), is none other than either to become working mother or stay at home mother(SAHM). It will always haunt us, I guess no matter which path we choose. For me, currently a working mother, I will unintentionally, every now and then think about my life if I chose to become a SAHM. Or even WAHM for that matter. Some of my friends even questioned me, `What am I doing here?!' when they learnt that until now I am still apart from the husband due to work commitment.However it is easier said than done, alot of factors need to be considered and it is not really about money. My child is already 1 year old and alhamdulillah I managed to raise her single handedly with strong support from both of my families.

I felt uneasy when some people portrayed that working mom is a norm and housewife is an extra mile.i believe on the total opposite.I do believe that stay at home mother is a norm, almost natural option every women need to choose. However since many women nowadays obtained high education level they are expected to work, and later when they start a family, big decisions need to be made for the family to function.So since stay at home mom is a norm (for me) I dont see any problem if graduated women chose to be a housewife rather than working in the field they had studied in school.

I have my reservations for both options.I believe all mothers are great regardless the path they choose..either working or stay at home.I have seen living evidences of successful mothers from both sides, whom raised successful children so it is always depend on individuals. My favourite mothers, whom are MY Moms are the examples of mothers from both sides and I actually learned a lot from their experience.My mom was a working mother for almost 30 years while my inlaw is a housewife. Both are supermoms in their own fields, that is all I can say.

And now I observed the trend of stay at home moms making small/online business from home and that is actually a great move to support the family financial state.And perhaps since most of these mothers have a high education background, they are equipped with sufficient knowledge to excel in this field, and have a network of friends supporting each other makes this move even more fun and easier. They can always choose to become traditional housewives whom only focus to raise the children and do the house chores, but these people made extra effort to become work at home moms.Most importsnt is they enjoy what they are doing.

Now lets look at the working moms.i believe most of them also have the option to quit and stay at home but they did not do for many reasons.Usually because they would like to practice what they have learnt in tertiery level, and also to contribute to the family's financial state.But some really have genuine passion to their work and actually performs well, more often they beat the men.And believe me some of these mothers managed to perform well as both mothers for their children and also as employees.They have the recipe to success which need to be perfected over time, and a strong determination and high discipline helps along the way.

However as a 'traditional' mom at heart I always believe that family must come first, work second.It is a huge bonus if the boss can accept occasional EL from the employees to attend a sick child, and allow half day leave to handle various family matters like my boss (thanks boss!). However please do not jeopardize the allowance because we work for an organisation and in all fairness, we need to perform and deliver the equal quality and quantity of job as what we are paid monthly. If that is too much to ask, then quit please and do what you enjoy the most.

So make the right choice for the benefit of your family, and KUDOS to all mothers who made it!!