This is a million years old but I have correct it because it sounds wrong. We didn't meet at a Christian-run coffee house. It was a coffee house for weird teenagers who didn't have anywhere else to go that happened to be run by a dude who was Christian. She makes it sound like I was there in my white shirt, tie, and bible, and she was in her ankle length dress, and we read psalms while sipping coffee. That is not how it went.

I'm still imagining her with a floral ankle length dress and a bonnet.

_________________You are all a disgrace to vegans. Go f*ck yourselves, especially linanil.

This is a million years old but I have correct it because it sounds wrong. We didn't meet at a Christian-run coffee house. It was a coffee house for weird teenagers who didn't have anywhere else to go that happened to be run by a dude who was Christian. She makes it sound like I was there in my white shirt, tie, and bible, and she was in her ankle length dress, and we read psalms while sipping coffee. That is not how it went.

Stop ruining the PPK's erotic fantasies!

We want this to be true!

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

how come when i did this all i got was a stalker, and even worse, not just any stalker, but a frigging stalker that had followed me all the way from upstate new york just to beg me to go to shitty galleries that i had already been to.

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 5877Location: United States of New England

coldandsleepy wrote:

LisaPunk wrote:

go to the last place on earth you ever thought you would meet someone with no intention of meeting someone and be really resistant to the idea of meeting someone and then BAM! there they are.

i went to an all women's college and like most of my friend's somehow were dating guys from the same fraternity at WPI (nerdy engineering school in Worcester). and they dragged me to a frat party literally kicking and screaming about how i didnt want to go hang out with frat boys etc.

then this tall skinny frat boy nerd starting following me around everytime i went there so eventually i married him.

if that isnt a fairy tale love story i dont know what is. IM LOOKING AT YOU DISNEY!

Ha ha. This is pretty much the mindset I was in when I met my now-husband (at work) (at WPI! That's where I went to undergrad!).

when were you there C&S? my husband graduated in 1999 with a EE major. he was in the TKE fraternity.i was such a little punk feminist that i was like IM NOT GOING TO A STUPID FRATERNITY!!!all the guys there were/are really nice though.

go to the last place on earth you ever thought you would meet someone with no intention of meeting someone and be really resistant to the idea of meeting someone and then BAM! there they are.

i went to an all women's college and like most of my friend's somehow were dating guys from the same fraternity at WPI (nerdy engineering school in Worcester). and they dragged me to a frat party literally kicking and screaming about how i didnt want to go hang out with frat boys etc.

then this tall skinny frat boy nerd starting following me around everytime i went there so eventually i married him.

if that isnt a fairy tale love story i dont know what is. IM LOOKING AT YOU DISNEY!

Ha ha. This is pretty much the mindset I was in when I met my now-husband (at work) (at WPI! That's where I went to undergrad!).

when were you there C&S? my husband graduated in 1999 with a EE major. he was in the TKE fraternity.i was such a little punk feminist that i was like IM NOT GOING TO A STUPID FRATERNITY!!!all the guys there were/are really nice though.

I live literally around the corner from WPI, and my BFF teaches in the Humanities dept.!

Most of the rules people have about finding or attracting relationships have never worked for me. I met my love(r) just walking down the street with a friend who was also friends with him. Magic can't be forced. I had been focusing on loving myself and doing things I loved as much as possible and a relationship ideally should be the icing on the cake of a healthy, creative and fulfilling existence. I find a lot of people looking for a relationship are looking for someone else to fill a role for them and who they are as a person is secondary.

So yeah, I cyberstalked her until I had enough inside information to a) be sure she was interesting, and b) ask interesting enough questions to start an interesting conversation which could then segue to, you know, stuff.

I don't really recommend this method...

Yeah, I'd say you were lucky it worked.

_________________"So often I wish Adam were a real boy." - interrobang?!"If he was you'd hear him farting at the back of your yoga class." - 8ball

Meeting a potential partner can be tough. I went through it in real life, online and back to real life. I met Mr8 after he'd posted an advert on our works intranet for a female vocalist for his new band. I'd been co-hosting an open mic night with a friend for about a year and it had boosted my confidence as a performer, plus his advert really grabbed my attention (Referencing b-movies, surf, punk, etc) so I thought "why not?". I realized I was in love with him about five weeks after we met for a chat about the band. Over four years later I'm still very happy to be with him and we're still in the same band.

I've never figured this out. I was friends with both guys for a while and then that evolved. I've never been in any kind of "dating" situation. Pretty sure that if I haven't figured it out in the past 12 years, I'm never going to.

I either can't read any signs of interest from guys, or there just never is any (I'm going with the last option).

_________________"This is the creepiest post ever if you don't know who Molly is." -Fee"a vegan death match sounds like something where we all end up hugging." -LisaPunk

So yeah, I cyberstalked her until I had enough inside information to a) be sure she was interesting, and b) ask interesting enough questions to start an interesting conversation which could then segue to, you know, stuff.

I don't really recommend this method...

Yeah, I'd say you were lucky it worked.

It helped that we were both in sort of a bad place emotionally and were both looking for obviously-doomed self-destructive relationships into which to throw ourselves in the anticipation of it melting down, giving us some delightful heartbreak in which to wallow. We both threw ourselves into it, and, uh, if you BOTH are totally committed to a relationship, it doesn't end up the way you think it will. That is, we were both doing the committed part and neither of us did the flaking out part, so we ended up stuck in a lovely mutually committed relationship. Curses!

when were you there C&S? my husband graduated in 1999 with a EE major. he was in the TKE fraternity.i was such a little punk feminist that i was like IM NOT GOING TO A STUPID FRATERNITY!!!all the guys there were/are really nice though.

I was hanging around the edges of WPI around then, having stopped being a student in 1993 but not having managed to get away from Worcester. Teke was one of the better frats. I think they and Fiji were the inclusive ones... (Fiji was pretty much the frat you joined if you were gay and wanted to be in a frat. I had lady friends who hung out there because they were so nice.)

So yeah, I cyberstalked her until I had enough inside information to a) be sure she was interesting, and b) ask interesting enough questions to start an interesting conversation which could then segue to, you know, stuff.

I don't really recommend this method...

Yeah, I'd say you were lucky it worked.

Cyberstalking?

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

So yeah, I cyberstalked her until I had enough inside information to a) be sure she was interesting, and b) ask interesting enough questions to start an interesting conversation which could then segue to, you know, stuff.

I don't really recommend this method...

Yeah, I'd say you were lucky it worked.

Cyberstalking?

Technically. I messed with the helpdesk ticket tracking system until I figured out which of the 2 female student workers I'd talked to, and then looked at her public web files for conversation fodder. It's not VERY creepy, it just sounds like it when I call it "cyberstalking."

Acting classes. Classes with a lab portion. Any classes. I feel like in Portland sometimes people meet by signing up for summer dodgeball or a group bike ride. I met most of the people I've dated at queer dance nights and I do not recommend it. I've been dating my gf for about a year and a half and we basically met online.

_________________You know what would probably be a more effective ritual? Telling the person who you want to shut up, "You better not talk or we'll pound you." -Footface

My current BF, I met at a musical performance club thing. I was tipsy and he was cute so I asked him why he wasn't dancing with anyone. We ended up dancing together the rest of the night, making out, and then he got my number when we split at 1am. Our first date was 9 days later and that was over a year ago.

I met one BF at the tattoo parlor. I went in for a tat, he was looking at designs, and we got to chatting. He game me his email, I sent him a note, 2 weeks later we had our first date (which ended up being 2.5 days long)... and then stayed together for ~4 years!

Other dudes have been met at: school (a few of them), work (only one), the local cafe (2-3?), a hostel while traveling (twice), and a party in another country (once).

You go out, you meet people. Do things you don't normally do, go places you would not normally go.

In the meantime, you learn to love yourself enough that you can be alone, comfortably. Then someone will add to your life and not be your life.

This. So this.

I met my current partner online (OKCupid) but I really truly had to get to the point where I was perfectly happy to be alone for the rest of my life before I was able to have a true partnership with someone. In the past, when I've dated (online or off), I put up with the wrong relationships just for the sake of wanting to have a relationship. I was single for seven years before I felt I was ready to stick my toe back in the dating pool, and I entered it with a completely different attitude than when I was younger. This time, I just wanted to meet interesting people, maybe have some fun, casual flings, and just enjoy myself. Since I loved being single, I only wanted to add someone to my life if they were an enrichment to an already rich existence. This attitude also allowed me to have truly casual flings for the first time, whereas before I had told myself that I could enjoy casual sex, but would always get emotionally attached. My current relationship didn't evolve out of one of these flings. We corresponded for months before meeting (which is kind of against my policy, but as we live four hours apart, that's the way it evolved) and by the time we met and realized the chemistry translated to real life, we were both pretty sure about each other. Both of us were happy with our single existences, and would be again if this relationship failed (although of course we'd be sad about the end of the relationship), so we both know we're in it because we want to be, not because we're afraid to be alone.

_________________Ain't no guarantees in life, and nothing that comes out of my vagina can change that. - Erika Soyf*cker