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The Sox are off to a not-terrible start, and there's reason to hope the Cell won't feel like a prison this year.
Whether or not Richard Daley cares to admit it, the White Sox have always been the Second City’s second team. For evidence of this, look no further than the South Siders’ first homestand of 2014: during games described by Deadspin as “eerily empty,” the visitors’ bench seemed to outnumber the fans sitting in the outfield bleachers. They may not win the World Series again this year (okay, they definitely won’t), but there are plenty of reasons to look forward to this latest season of White Sox baseball. Besides, even if they suck, we’ll always have 2005.
1. Flame-throwing lefty Chris Sale is still a frontrunner for the Cy Young.
Before the White Sox landed Chris Sale, their most popular southpaw was a creature that, by his own admission, resembles a dirty sock. Let’s just say that signing the lefty starter was a step in the right direction. Sale has been on absolute fire this season, stumping opposing hitters to the tune of 14 strikeouts and a slim 1.76 ERA.
2. Cuban-born slugger Jose Abreu is good. And he’s going to get better.
Jose Abreu has started the season on a tear of his own. Just 10 games into his promising career, the rookie first baseman is already the proud owner of a two-home-run game (April 10 vs. Cleveland). During most at-bats, he looks like he’s trying to become the first player ever to hit a ball from US Cellular Field to his native Cuba. Speaking of Cuba, we might as well start referring to Chicago as Havana North; the Sox have already featured four Cuban players in their starting lineup.
3. The rest of the offense isn’t so bad, either.
Don’t look now, but the Sox lead the league in runs scored. They’ve recorded five runs or more in all of their wins, but the bats will have to keep singing if there’s any hope of reaching the playoffs. Nobody appreciates the run support more than the reconstructed bullpen, which is pitching only slightly better than a pen filled with actual bulls. Actual bulls that can’t pitch.
4. Big Hurt Beer is a thing that exists.
But let’s not dwell on the bullpen’s woes. How could we, when newly minted Hall-of-Famer Frank Thomas is busy hitting another one out of the park? Yep, we’re talking about Big Hurt Beer, the crisp, refreshing lager enjoyed by all players when their managers aren’t looking. Frank unleashed his high-ABV juggernaut on the Chicago market a few years ago. We couldn’t believe it then and we still can’t believe it now, but we’re going to ride this train until the wheels fall off. After all, it’s not like the celebrity-alcohol pairing hasn’t worked beautifully before:
5. This is the year we find out if Dayan Viciedo is for real.
When promising young outfielder Avisail Garcia was sidelined for the season with a torn labrum, Sox fans couldn’t help but wince. Garcia was a revelation in his first few games, and he’s a key cog in the team’s youth movement. But his loss allows another young player—25-year-old Dayan Viciedo—to finally show what he’s worth. Viciedo has struggled so far in his career with the Sox, but the potential is there for a breakout season. Besides, he’s only 25. What were you doing at 25? Drinking a lot of Big Hurt Beer, we bet.
6. Adam Eaton’s bat is almost as powerful as his beard. Almost.
Behold the glory of Adam Eaton’s beard (Forget the D’Backs jersey. We all make mistakes). Its beauty lies not in its bushiness, but in its close-cropped “comehitherness.” This is a beard that compels you to invent new adjectives. This a beard you could take home to your parents. This is the Harrison Ford of beards, meaning it could convincingly play Han Solo and the President at the same time. Hell, before all is said and done, maybe it will. Oh, and the centerfielder attached to it isn’t so bad, either.
7. Outside of the Tigers, the rest of the AL Central might be Sucktown.
When the White Sox started this season, they weren’t supposed to be good. This was a team built for the future—a team stacked with young talent and with this song as their clubhouse anthem. But then something beautiful happened. The bats started connecting, Chris Sale started doing Chris Sale things, and the rest of the AL Central stopped looking so intimidating. Who says we can’t beat up on the Indians, the Twins, and the…you know, that blue team from Kansas City. Are they still around?
8. The hideously awesome 1983 throwbacks are back to blind opposing batters.
It’s a common theme in pop culture: something goes out of style for a few decades, a bunch of hipsters rediscover it, and soon enough it’s basking on the banks of the mainstream. Such is the trajectory of the 1983 “Winning Ugly” uniforms, which returned last year and are back for another go-round. Because nothing says “We’re a serious baseball team” quite like a tricolored cap.
9. Southpaw hasn’t punched out any drunken fans yet.
The same cannot be said for a certain unofficial Cubs mascot:
10. Bridgeport > Wrigleyville.
See above.
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The Cubs didn’t have the best Week 1 (eight runs in five games? Yeesh.), but there’s still plenty to look forward to in Wrigley Field’s centennial season.
This year, the Cubs will celebrate Wrigley Field’s 100th season by gunning for 100 losses. It’s a noble goal—heroic, even—but the team’s fans might think otherwise. In honor of their loyalty, here are 10 reasons to keep the hope alive after a dismal Week 1.
1. The starting pitching staff is hot. Even if nobody else at Wrigley is.
The Cubs may be ranked dead last by most “experts,” but they can take solace in a starting staff that has stormed out of the gates with a 1.93 ERA. Although he’s had virtually no run support, Jeff Samardzija has been sensational in allowing only two earned runs over his first two starts. The weather might also factor into the Cubs’ pitching success, as several opposing hitters simply quit baseball altogether after facing opening-day temperatures in the low 40s.
1a. Speaking of Jeff Samardzija, he could still decide to play for the Bulls.
We already know that Samardzija can catch a football. (At Notre Dame, the acrobatic wide receiver set single-season records in receiving yards and touchdown receptions.) And yes, he has evolved into a key cog in the Cubs’ pitching staff. But at 6-foot-5, Samardzija would be the perfect complementary player for the Bulls’ playoff stretch run. Imagine him lining up next to Joakim Noah. Imagine that hair. We’re talking levels of style that haven’t been touched since Drew Gooden put braids on his face.
2. Maybe Junior Lake will wear the wrong jersey again.
Junior Lake sounds like that cool summer camp you were never able to go to because your dad blew all his savings on Cubs season tickets. But far from bringing back painful memories, the young left fielder is here to make sure this summer is the best one ever. He’s already on a roll as the team’s comic relief, having worn the wrong jersey during a game in Pittsburgh. What he’ll do next is anyone’s guess, like what that nice Becky Petersen from next door is up to these days … .
3. Emilio Bonifacio has almost stolen enough bases to build a padded clubhouse fort.
Emilio Bonifacio is no stranger to running around, having played with six teams in his seven-year career. The Cubs are hoping he’s found a home that he likes because their sizzling new acquisition happens to lead the league in stolen bases. In a few weeks’ time, he’ll likely have enough to make his own little padded fort in the clubhouse, where he can meet with reporters who know the secret password.
4. Ryan Kalish looks like the real deal.
Fans are right to feel Pollyannaish about Ryan Kalish, the Cubs’ other prized offseason acquisition. Once one of the top prospects in the game, the 26-year-old outfielder was sidelined by the same cervical-fusion procedure that Peyton Manning went through before returning to win NFL MVP. If his two-hit, three-RBI performance against the Phillies is any indication, maybe Kalish is destined for his own MVP. Or at least a couple more starts.
5. New manager Rick Renteria has a cool nickname and once coached a team called the Manatees. We’re in good hands.
Cubs managers have been on a short leash lately—Mike Quade and Dale Sveum were both ousted after less than two years on the job. If you’re looking for an indication that the new guy is going to be different, look no further than his track record. When Rick Renteria was on the Florida Marlins, he went by the nickname “Secret Weapon.” We’ll call that a ground rule double. When Renteria was managing in the minor leagues, his team was none other than the Brevard County Manatees. The Manatees. Yup, that’s a home run.
6. Old Style’s social-media campaign worked.
It was a near-scandal when the Cubs signed a fat marketing deal with Anheuser-Busch, owner of Budweiser and sworn enemy to Wrigley Field stalwart Old Style. But Pabst Brewing Company got the word out via social media, and fans of Old Style will be glad to know that their favorite “local” beer will still be available at Wrigley this year. We aren’t sure what the future holds, but for now St. Louis can keep their watery swill to themselves.
7. It’s only a matter of time before the rooftop bars install catapults.
Speaking of Budweiser, the company is planning to install a huge sign in the outfield as part of Wrigley’s planned renovation. This doesn’t sit well with the owners of the rooftop bars, some of which might be blocked by the new sign. The Cubs seem to be going ahead with plans regardless of the owners’ complaints, which can only mean all-out war (read: entertainment). At least some rooftop views will remain unobstructed.
8. The ivy is set to bloom any day now. Really. Any day.
While we wait, here’s a video of Kerry Wood striking out 20 hapless Houston Astros:
9. A new menu of period cocktails lets you drown your sorrows like granddad did.
As part of Wrigley Field’s centennial celebration, the park is rolling out a menu of retro cocktails inspired by trends throughout the decades. Highlights include the 1910s Weeghman Park old fashioned, the 1970s Cooperstown iced tea, and the 2000s Carlos Zambrano Gatorade punch.
10. Clark the Cub isn’t as creepy as we feared.
Well, unless you’re Deadspin (very NSFW).
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Photos: Collin Brennan

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