I read with alarm about an AirAsia flight that was bound for #Malaysia from #Sydney but landed in #Melbourne by mistake. Apparently, the pilot entered the wrong coordinates into the navigation system. Duh! The difference of nearly 11,000 km wasn’t a big enough clue. Come on now, we’ve all made that mistake on our car’s GPS haven’t we? Rumor has it that the pilot will take the #Asoh Defense.

The ‘Asoh Defense’ relates to an incident on November 22, 1968. A Japanese Airlines Douglas DC-8 flying from #Tokyo to #SanFrancisco landed in the waters of San Francisco Bay, two and a half miles short of the runway. When the pilot, Captain Kohei Asoh, was asked by the #NTSB why he landed in the water, he said, “"As you Americans say, I fucked up.” It was an honest answer.

The Asoh Defense is seldom used but should be used more often. For example, Hillary #Clinton could have used the Asoh Defense when asked why she used her own server for e-mails instead of the proper State Department server. Another example might be when Anthony #Weiner was asked why he sexted and sent pictures to the wrong people. A prime example where the Asoh Defense should have been used was in 1999 when a $125 million satellite burned up in the Martian atmosphere because some engineer failed to convert units the thrusters needed from English to metric. People should just admit when they screw up regardless of the size of the error.

Here’s one possible scenario of the interview between the pilot and the Australian Transport Safety Bureau;

Captain, please state your name for the record.

Hu (not his real name)

You, of course. What’s your name?

No, sir. My name Hu.

What?

No, Hu.

Okay, let’s leave that blank for now. As we understand, you made a 11,000 km navigational error. Can you please explain that?

Yes, sir. I invoke the Asoh Defense.

The ‘Ah So’ Defense?

Asoh.

Did you just call me an asshole?

No sir. I said Asoh.

That’s what I said.

No sir. It’s a homophone.

A phone for gay people?

No sir. It means that two words sound slightly the same but are spelled differently. Words like ‘plane’ meaning an aircraft; and ‘plain’ meaning a flat piece of terrain. ‘Asoh’ sounds like ‘asshole’.

Okay, I got it. Your defense is that you’re an asshole.

No sir. Asoh.

Let’s not go down that path again. I’m just going to report that you made a mistake.