Todd A. Clark, 51, was told by family members to stop smoking marijuana in the house, allegedly reacted by grabbing a samurai sword and attacking his brother-in-law in the face.

While the stick-in-their-asses drug warriors will blame this on marijuana, I know what the real culprit is. The sad condition that is being born and raised in Steelers Country.

Via Penn Live:

Who says marijuana isn’t dangerous? A Westmoreland County man who was told by family members to put out the pot he was smoking in his bedroom allegedly reacted by grabbing a decorative samurai sword and striking his brother-in-law in the face.

TribLive.com reports that Todd A. Clark, 51, who is missing his left arm, was arraigned on charges of attempted homicide, simple assault, possession of a prohibited offensive weapon and two counts of aggravated assault filed by Monessen city police in the Thursday morning incident.

Clark’s brother-in-law, identified as Bill Garey, was struck with the 3-foot sword across the bridge of the nose and was treated and released with stitches on his nose and above his right eyebrow… Read More…

This past Tuesday, Sheriff’s Deputies in Okaloosa County Florida responded to a home, where they found Suzanne Hulvert, 51, with a fork stuck in her hand. She received the stabbing, in retaliation for hitting her husband, Carl Smith, 66, in the head with her half eaten Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell.

Suzanne Hurlvert and Carl Smith

Via The Smoking Gun:

Hurlvert, cops noted, had a fork protruding from her right hand, but was still “relatively calm and in good spirits.” Hurlvert told investigators that she and Smith had argued about his drinking, and that the dispute turned physical.

As the couple quarreled, Hurlvert allegedly hit Smith in the back of the head with the Taco Bell burrito. Cops noted that burrito remnants were “located on the floor, scattered on the sofa, and on a lamp shade.”

…

Smith, who was arrested at a nearby bar, and Hurlvert were each charged with felony battery counts. They are both free on $1000 bond, according to jail records. Read More…

Is it any wonder Donald Trump won the Florida GOP primary? The State is filled with a bunch of fucking idiots.

Seriously Floridians, what the hell is wrong with you? Doing it doggie style does not mean what you people apparently think it means.

Yet another Floridian has been busted for molesting a dog, this time two of them.

21-year-old resident of Naples Florida, Miranda Johns, was arrested and charged the past Monday on three counts of engaging in sexual conduct with an animal.

Via The Smoking Gun:

21-year-old resident of Naples Florida, Miranda Johns, was arrested and charged the past Monday on three counts of engaging in sexual conduct with an animal.

Specifically, a cop noted, multiple videos showed Johns’s dogs “giving her oral sex while she masturbated.” One video showed Johns attempting to have a dog penetrate her, while a text message from Johns to Villavicencio noted that one of the animals “likes the taste of your cum.”

After seizing the phone, investigators confronted Johns, who claimed that Villavicencio (seen at left) was “interested in her having sex with animals.” Other statements Johns made to police have been redacted from the report. Read More…

Looking at that mugshot picture, that girl definitely has the crazy eye. She’s also a little too much of a sick fucking weirdo for any guy to have interest in.

I guess that would sure make for an interesting night at the fire house.

Via The UK Telegraph:

A middle-aged woman in Italy was forced to ask the fire brigade for help after she lost the keys to her chastity belt.

The woman, who has not been named under Italian privacy law, turned up at a fire station on Wednesday morning in Padua, in Italy’s Veneto region, and said she needed help with a lock she could not open.

Firefighters, believing she had locked herself out of her house, began asking for details about where she lived.

It was only then that the woman revealed the specific nature of the problem, pulling up a jumper to reveal an iron chastity belt.

“I’ve lost the keys to a lock and I can no longer open it,” she told a group of stunned firefighters at the fire station in San Fidenzio. Read More…

At first the firefighters were concerned that the woman may have been a victim of sexual abuse. That turned out not to be the case as she confessed to having had worn the belt voluntarily to prevent herself from riding the bologna pony.

I remember back during Barack Obama’s first term, cringing in disgust when video of grade-school children being taught a song praising the President made the rounds. It was very reminiscent of the Hitler Youth and fit in pretty well amongst the cult of personality that was built up around Obama.

It couldn’t happen on our side I thought.

Enter the USA Freedom Kids, who performed at a campaign rally for Donald Trump this past Wednesday in Pensacola, Florida.

The brainwashed girl group is the brainchild of 53-year-old Florida ‘businessman,’ and one time 80’s Hollywood stuntman, Jeff Popick.

I don’t know what’s worse the three poor girls brainwashed and forced to perform, the Trump talking point lyrics of the song, or the fucking idiots in attendance smiling and clapping at the creepy performance.

I want to try write my next statement to make sure that there is zero chance that my thoughts on this get misinterpreted.

If you support the Donald Trump campaign and further more if you enjoy and support the this vile and disgusting propaganda in support of his campaign, not only are you a complete fucking moron — but that piece inside of you that makes you a decent human being, is probably missing.

Furthermore, to call this act “the USA Freedom Kids,” is a fucking joke. The Donald is just about as far from advancing the cause of Freedom as you can get, except of course maybe Bernie Sanders, but at this point I’m not even sure anymore.

“To me, freedom is everything,” Popick said in a telephone interview with The Washington Post. “That’s what this group is about. That’s what I’m about. Freedom for everybody. That’s the inspiration.”

For the past seven years now, the so-called philosophical “right,” have argued that President Barack Obama does not care about the law. Dear Leader, is what I and many others who are opposed to his actions have called him. An authoritarian, a dictator and emperor is what we have called him.

Now, many of those same people are gravitating like flies on shit to Donald Trump who is all of those same things we’ve hated Barack Obama for, albeit wrapped in the American Flag.

My initial thought during the early stages of Donald Trumps latest flirtation with the Oval Office was to laugh and call him a circus clown. However, the more and more his popularity grows, as a lover of liberty, I am downright terrified for what the future may bring with a Donald Trump Presidency.

We should not laugh, we should not joke, because the truth is Donald Trump is a bigger threat to liberty and the American way of life then Barack Obama ever was.

As the great Jeffrey Tucker wrote this past July after witnessing a Trump speech:

It’s not too interesting to say that Donald Trump is a nationalist and aspiring despot who is manipulating bourgeois resentment, nativism, and ignorance to feed his power lust. It’s uninteresting because it is obviously true. It’s so true that stating it sounds more like an observation than a criticism.

I just heard Trump speak live. It was an awesome experience, like an interwar séance of once-powerful dictators who inspired multitudes, drove countries into the ground, and died grim deaths.

His speech at FreedomFest lasted a full hour, and I consider myself fortunate for having heard it. It was a magnificent exposure to an ideology that is very much present in American life, though hardly acknowledged. It lives mostly hidden in dark corners, and we don’t even have a name for it. You bump into it at neighborhood barbecues, at Thanksgiving dinner when Uncle Harry has the floor, at the hardware store when two old friends in line to checkout mutter about the state of the country.

The ideology is a 21st century version of right fascism — one of the most politically successful ideological strains of 20th century politics. Though hardly anyone talks about it today, we really should. It is still real. It exists. It is distinct. It is not going away. Trump has tapped into it, absorbing unto his own political ambitions every conceivable bourgeois resentment: race, class, sex, religion, economic. You would have to be hopelessly ignorant of modern history not to see the outlines and where they end up.

For now, Trump seems more like comedy than reality. I want to laugh about what he said, like reading a comic-book version of Franco, Mussolini, or Hitler. And truly I did laugh, as when he denounced the existence of tech support in India that serves American companies (“how can it be cheaper to call people there than here?” — as if he still thinks that long-distance charges apply).

Associating Donald Trump with “Freedom,” is like associating Miley Cyrus with modesty. True conservatives have worked tirelessly for decades to dispel the lies propagated by liberals that those opposed to their ideals are akin to Nazi’s and fascists — when in fact it is they whose ideals resemble both Hitler & Mussolini’s versions of National Socialism the most.

Now in 2015, a large swath of fucking assholes are ready to throw that all away by supporting the totalitarian ambitions of Donald Trump.

A world where Donald Trump is the only answer to the garbage that comes from the progressive left, is too scary a thought to fathom — it is not a place that I want to live.

If you plan on committing armed robbery, it is probably not a very good idea to snap a selfie with your victim. It’s just common sense.

That lesson was not one that was given to Victor Almanza-Martinez, who was arrested last week after police tracked him down thanks to a Snapchat selfie he took with one of his victims.

Two of his accomplishes are still on the loose.

Via KNTV:

It occurred at Lovers Point Park, according to the Pacific Grove Police Department. Victor Almanza-Martinez, 18, of Castroville, and two other men allegedly approached four victims and robbed them of their belongings, including keys to a 2013 black Chrysler 200.

The suspects fled in the Chrysler, which is still missing, but not before Almanza-Martinez and one of the female victims exchanged Snapchat information and posed for a selfie together, police said. Read More…

Police in LaPorte, Indiana, reporting to a call from JJ’s Sideout Bar & Grill, totally harshed a dude’s mellow as he was just trying to have a good time while licking a toad’s backside. I mean, who hasn’t done that?

Via WNDU:

On arrival, officers observed bar security staff standing on the sidewalk with Richard Mullins, 41, of LaPorte. Mullins was barefoot and carrying his sandals.

Security staff told police that Mullins started to enter the bar and was asked for proper identification. He allegedly ignored the request and refused to speak with staff. He was advised that if he didn’t provide ID he would have to leave. After not producing anything, he was escorted outside and told to leave the property.

He proceeded to dance around in the parking lot, picked up a toad and began licking it, according to witnesses.

While police spoke with Mullins, he remained on the public sidewalk, dancing. He was warned not to return onto JJ’s property or he would be arrested. Read More…

Of course he was arrested, because a few minutes later he returned to the bar’s parking lot with another toad in hand.

Madam’s Organ, a popular bar and live music venue in Washington DC’s Adams Morgan neighborhood was recently fined $500. The reason?

Last year while a band was playing there, the drummer cracked open a window a bit to let out a fart.

Via Borderstan:

According to the report, an Alcohol Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA) inspector personally observed a live band playing “directly in front of one of the establishment’s ground floor windows” between 1:30 and 1:33 a.m. on June 22, 2014.

In April, Madam’s Organ General Manager Carlos Wilcox testified at an ABRA hearing that he “personally closed the windows during the performers’ first break of the night,” and that the band’s drummer “needed air and cracked a window.”

“He opened the window to let [a] fart out,” says Duggan. “He cracked it open for five minutes, then the inspector showed up.”

“Twenty f—–g years with not one violation and this is what they came up with,” Duggan says. “People get stabbed and shot in these other establishments. In ours, someone farts and cracks a window and they spend a year on it.” Read More…

A statement from German police said: “The lamb was turned over to an animal protection group.

Via The Independent:

A three-week-old lamb named ‘Birke’ has been rescued from a Munich brothel, having been discovered during a narcotics raid.

Police also detained a 25-year-old prostitute for drug possession, not prostitution, as it is legal in Germany.

Police said the woman showed them a letter from veterinary authorities which dictated the conditions in which the lamb should be raised, however these did not include its living conditions at the time, so she was forbidden to keep the lamb. Read More…