Sunday, February 27, 2011

The first lake party of the year is looming large in your mind. It's been since last season that you've seen Gilbert. Perhaps his mother's predilection for Laudanum and humiliating you has waned over the last few months. Oh ho! What's this!? Gilbert's dogsbody just passed a letter to your sister! Upon opening it, you see that not only is it in Gilbert's own sweet hand, but it is in code! It must be important! Can you decipher it before the party!?

Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: I equals M.

The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.

Last week's answer:"It's odd that Abraham got shot at the theater. He was always too busy to see a show. It was usually me in that dark box with a man's gun shoved in the back of my head, if you know what I mean." - Mary Todd Lincoln

Friday, February 25, 2011

Fun Fact: Steven Spielberg has to constantly be talked out of giving his characters whips.

Indiana Jones is the only character that ended up anywhere near Spielberg's initial concept, but with considerably less whipping. In the famous "Indy shoots the swordsman" scene, Spielberg originally intended to have Jones whip the sword out of his hand, and then whip his foe to death over several minutes. Seeing he would never win the argument against the whipping death, Ford faked a bout of dysentery and convinced Spielberg the pain and diarrhea were too severe to film the scene as written, which allowed him to just shoot the swordsman.

Other examples(by no means a comprehensive list):

Jaws:Spielberg added a scene(later cut) to Jaws wherein Chief Brody whips his son repeatedly for not cleaning his plate.

Brody also later whips Hooper before Quint takes the whip away and throws it behind him without looking. The whip lands right in the shark's face.

Always:In the film Always, Spielberg had Dreyfuss' character Pete Sandich attempt to whip Hap(Audrey Hepburn) to prove that she's not actually a supernatural being. After whipping through her spirit body several times, Dreyfuss says in an astonished voice "So it's true what they say, you can't whip an angel." This scene was kept in the script, but after Hepburn sustained numerous injuries while trying to film the scene, it was cut.

Amistad:Oddly, Amistad contained only one instance of whipping. Martin Van Buren is seen whipping a hot dog out of a passerby's hand and eating it. Van Buren then quips "I'm a slave to Ball Park Franks."

Spielberg said he thought seeing any of the slaves get whipped might have been in poor taste.

This still from the original cut of Hookshows Wendy and Tinkerbell's first encounter

Jurassic Park:In the background of one scene, a dinosaur is seen whipping monkeys out of a tree and into its waiting mouth.The scene was cut due to the fact that a dinosaur living in an island park and who presumably has no job would be unable to afford a whip.

E.T.:When Elliott investigates the strange noises coming from the backyard shed, he tosses a baseball into the shed and is immediately whipped across the face.

Spielberg envisioned ET as having an alien utility belt that included several lengths of whip.

Spielberg was never happy with the government agents holding guns, and in the director's cut the guns have been digitally removed and replaced by whips.

And another thing. Why was E.T.(an interstellar scientist) totally nude? Even if at home they run around naked as the day they were hatched, wouldn't a team of extraterrestrial botanists have some sort of protection from a foreign environment? Or at least some sort of short apron that would cover their genitals while allowing them to defecate through the open back? At least Spielberg realized they would need some sort of tool box or belt for their instruments and/or whips.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Well, you did it. You sure made your Grandmother proud. You work in a prison cafeteria without being an inmate. And you have three bosses, all of whom have more respect, authority and responsibility than you. The least serious offense between your three inmate bosses is Kidnapping with Intent to Part-Out. Now the warden wants to have a word with you. He has decided that if you can't solve his puzzle, your free shift meals at the prison will consist of maple syrup, coffee grounds, and sweepings from the prison barber shop. Can you solve the puzzle? Why would you even bother? Why don't you just quit?

Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: P equals R.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's almost St. Valentine's Day and you forgot to get your lover a gift! Oh Lord, what can you do!? As you rush to Walgreen's to purchase what promises to be the worst gift ever, you round a corner and run smack-dab into a little fat man with barely any clothes on! But wait, he has wings and a little quiver full of arrows on his back! Could it be? Yes, it's cupid! He knows just what trouble you're in, and wants to help you out! "Listen friend," he says "The best gifts aren't bought from a store(and certainly not from Walgreen's) they're made by love. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll send you a love letter, straight from my heart, buddy! You know what a love letter is? It's an arrow from a magical bow, friend! You receive a love letter from me, you're smitten forever! You understand, friend? I'll send you straight to heaven, buddy! Because when you decipher the love letter I send you, it will be your true words of true love, not mine. And true love is the best gift of all!" Can you decipher Cupid's letter in time!??

Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: C equals A.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Boy did that crusty old Ebenezer Scrooge mend his ways! After his DMT-induced near-death experience, Scrooge helped out everybody! The biggest gift of them all was Scrooge's assistance to Tiny Tim! Scrooge fixed Tim's rickets and renal tubular acidosis by turning him into an amazing cyborg detective! Now Inspector Cratchit fights crime in Victorian England! [Yes, I'm writing about a cyborg in Victorian England, but it's not steam punk. Inspector Cratchit has no lacquered wood bits or inexplicable hoses running through brass fittings. You can either picture Inspector Cratchit as basically being Inspector Gadget but with bad teeth and a Cockney accent, or as a bad-ass futuristic cyborg cop, but he doesn't wear welder's goggles and a leather gauntlet with a baffling assortment of grommets and gauges.] Unfortunately, Tiny Tim was turned into a cyborg dynamo before he ever went to school, and is kind of an illiterate man-child. Can you help Inspector Cratchit solve his own jumbled writing!?

Below is a quote from a thing encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: Y equals P.