Thursday, August 25, 2011

1. Ok, so she totally came home with a huge whole in the side of her brand new dress. I wasn't mad, but damn. Was she trying to ruin it just to make me look foolish?

Totally fixable and probably wouldn't even be noticeable if it were sewn by anyone other than yours truly. Me? I'll probably make a mess out of it using a hotel sewing kit.

2. Thank you so much to all who left comments on the behavior situation. It really means a lot and I find your feedback helpful. Just knowing that I'm not alone in this is huge.

That reminds me of something..."behavior" was a topic that was never addressed in the sharing session of moms of 3-5 year-olds at the NDSC conference. My biggest gripe about the weekend was that time period. We essentially spent the entire 1.5 hours introducing ourselves, which helped no one. Wouldn't it have been great if this type of thing could have been explored instead? Or any of the other 15 or so things that people said they'd like to talk about? Ugh.

I think it's important that when we have golden opportunities like that, with just us moms (not friends and therapists, like what they allowed this past time - no offense to the supporters), that we seize the chance to talk about the real stuff, the nitty-gritty, the "my special angel isn't acting like such a special angel anymore and I'm no longer feeling like such a special chosen parent to my very special kid" type stuff. (gag @ all the specialness of it all)

We all know that we all love our kids. If we didn't, chances are high that we wouldn't even be at an event like that, y'know? We probably don't need to spend the entire time telling each other that we love our kids.

Obviously, I'm frustrated. It feels so big right now that we missed it. We really missed it in that room that day.

I'm thinking of all the other moms who left that room not getting what they needed, moms with issues that might have been more hearty than my own, and it's breaking my heart.

When are they going to get their chance? Do they spend another 1, 3, 30 years feeling like they're failing?

I hope they're able to find the support they need.

Thankfully, I have you all.

3. And, uh, the weather and seismic activity around here is pissing me off because I don't know how to deal with it. Especially not all at once.

I cried at drop-off today. I couldn't help it. It was just a few tears, but I couldn't hold them in.

The teacher, who I appreciate very much, was telling me about some of the behaviors that Playette has been exhibiting lately.

Now, I had heard the other teacher mention some things yesterday during pick-up, but I think she was trying to spare my feelings a little too much and kind of acted like things weren't as bad as they are.

The morning lady (they work together in the room for most of the day) was a little more blunt. Which was fine. It's just that I guess that I've been living in a bit of a fantasy lately. I mean, I have this kid who has been just...nice...for so long and hearing that she's pushing and hitting other children? Ugh.

I understand that her chronological age does not match her developmental stage, but still. I thought we got the "terrible twos" thing last year. Apparently not. That was just a preview. She's exhibiting that sort of behavior now in the classroom and I realize that I'm not taking it well because I really, really want her to just be.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't want her to stick out (more).

I don't want her to become a problem.

I want everyone to wish that they had her in their classrooms.

It's that thing about being different already and not really wanting to give her the leeway to be the same as other children in that kind of way.

While it's fine for any other child to have behavioral issues attributed to the stage they're in, for a kid that's already set apart, it's just another strike in my mind.

It's kinda like me not being able to be relaxed in college about breaking a rule....there was no one that anyone could confuse me with as I was virtually the only Black female for most of the time I was there.

So, yeah, it's deeper than "we don't hit" for me.

It's more like, "Please, baby, be nice to your friends today, ok? Be on your very best behavior, alright? Look at me. Can you do that for mama? Please? No, really, I'm serious. Look at me. Do you understand? We're nice to our friends. Hands are not for hitting. Let's use our words today. Look at me. Tell me you understand. Ok? Can you promise me that you'll be the best girl today?"

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I believe that I owe you all another video. Not that anyone's asking for one, but I kinda prefer telling the school stories "in person" now. That saves me a heck of a lot of writing, for one. Yesterday and today, there were some new developments. And I'm proud of myself.

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On Saturday, I had a commitment with the Navy Reserve. As I've mentioned before, this is not a frequent occurrence, but this summer, there seems to be a lot more going on than usual. In fact, I have meetings this coming weekend as well.

So there I am, early in the morning, putting on my khakis, and Little Miss Possessive herself (no, really, she doesn't want servers to take away our plates, people to come too close with their carts in the grocery store, or luggage handlers to take our bags in the airport) starts giving me the "No! No! No! No!" complete with hand gestures. I'm wondering what in the world I've done to get this treatment and then she says, "Daddy's pants!"

Ah, yes. Of course. She thought I was stealing her dad's clothes since this is what she always sees him wear and never sees me wear.

Smart kid.

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We went to the ENT last Friday for a follow-up to the sleep study. Apparently, her episodes were extremely insignificant. No T&A or CPAP for her, for now. We go back in December.

That reminds me. It's about that time to start scheduling the next round of appointments. We haven't been to the Cardiologist since moving here so I think that visit should get some priority. Hopefully, it'll be just as uneventful as our past visits have been. But it is always nerve-wracking to go to someone new. Who knows if they'll agree with the other doctors? What if they want to do something we're not expecting?

Ugh. Why did I just go there? Borrowing trouble.

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Playette got new glasses when we were in San Antonio and the lenses are finally in. So stinkin' cute. I like them so much better than the sports goggles on her. I guess now you want a pic, huh?

All the ones I have in my phone are blurry. I'll work on getting a clear shot posted soon.

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In the meantime, here she is this morning, sans glasses, after deciding that she was more than ready to head out to school. She grabbed the garage door opener and the car keys, along with my sunglasses that she promptly placed in the headband position. Good thing I was right behind her because the garage door was up and she was out and at the driver's side door in no time. I guess she thought she'd do the driving today.

Friday, August 12, 2011

You know, I seem to dip in and out of this space a lot lately, but, truthfully, it's summer. And I don't want to look back and say that we didn't live it up when we had the chance, y'know?

So we've been doing just that. And so I'm behind on my emails and phone calls and posts. But that's what winter's for, right?

Know that I won't quit you though, k? I mean, even at the times that I start to think that this blogging this doesn't really mean anything to anyone but me, I get confirmation that what I write matters to someone. Even if it's just one, it's one. And that means a lot to me. So here I am.

There's been quite the activity in the Ds community lately.

First, and most importantly, there was the NDSC Conference in San Antonio, TX, last week. I can't say enough about it. Where else can you spend 4-5 days in a resort setting and hang with a bunch of people that just get it? And then you eat, dance, laugh, cry, learn, speak, and listen. It's pretty awesome.

This was our third time attending. We went to Sacramento and Orlando and it would take something massive to keep us away from DC next July. So get your bags ready and start setting aside your allowance, y'all. It's worth it.

We didn't take a camera, but thankfully others did. I'll either share some pictures here soon or provide a link to where you can see them. Playette was quite the poser so she made it into lots of shots.

Oh! While we were there, we had the chance to go to Morgan's Wonderland and I'm so, so glad that we did. A theme park that utilizes inclusive practices? Bonus.

I loved seeing our friends and friends that have become like family. The only thing that blew was that it didn't last longer. But it gave me hope and the strength to continue to fight the good fight.

You may be surprised at my reaction, but I don't think he should play.

To me, that's the definition of treating him special-special.

I'm not a fan of special-special.

One thing I learned from the conference session on inclusive practices is that we can't have it both ways. We can't want for our kids to be treated just like everyone else and then not want them to be treated just like everyone else when it doesn't feel good.

Inclusion, to me, means that everyone is together and supports are provided when necessary. In my mind, it's not that we get the best of all possible outcomes at all times.

I admit, my kid is four. I have a long way to go and my thought process is certainly skewed by my limited experience in the land of Special Needs Parentdom.

I also admit that I don't always take road less traveled. Some days are hard enough as it is and I welcome a break. Any break.

So when someone offers Playette a special pass for free admission to the zoo, I will probably accept on her behalf. See? I'm not perfect. Perhaps that even makes me a little hypocritical.

But I'm not going to be mad at the zoo if we go and they don't offer Playette a free ticket. Because no one else gets free tickets. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

Help is nice, sure. But it's not a given.

So I guess if they had decided that Brett couldn't suit up, but could still do some stuff with the team (which it sounds like may now be the case), then I guess I could be convinced to be ok with that. But I don't like our kids treated like mascots. And I don't think that they should be allowed to break rules courtesy of the extra chromo.

When I was a kid and used to say, "That's not fair!" one of my parents would always reply, "Life's not fair."

Maybe that's why I'm cold-hearted. Or a realist. Or whatever.

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But back to the happy-happy-joy-joy! Washington, DC. July 20-22. Come early or stay late. Just be there.