Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

BP and healthy relationship

I have been told most people with bp end up divorced. I am having a rough time getting it together with my hubby because of the bp, and would love happy stories and advice on how you keep your relationship together when you hve bp. I know communication is key, but how do you open the lines once the seem closed to you.

Even when you've closed the lines of communication you can re-open them. It's harder, but very important. I have never been in a relationship with anyone diagnosed with BP, but my X sister-in-law had it and she was a wonderful person as long as she stayed on her Lithium. Unfortunately, her BP got the best of her one day when she got evicted from her apartment. She had no one to tell her to take her meds, so she stopped, then she started binge drinking and got into drugs.

ANother example: My grandmother and step-grampy have been together for 15 years, (her longest marriage, #9) and he is Bi-Polar. But with the right medication, support and communication, I think that it's very possible to have a good relationship with someone with BP.

Hard one this. My mum is BP, so I am well aware of how hard it is.
I admin a Bipolar site, and many people on there have partners who are bp, and they do struggle, it is possible, but the person with bp has to manage their illness themselves, not expect their partner to do it.
Things are not too bad if a person is stable on meds, but when the person becomes manic - then all hell lets loose, and depressed - then nothing is good.
A very good friend of mine has got to the edge of despair with her bp hubbie for many years, she basically lives her own life now and he lives his and sometimes they meet in between.

My mum chucks her hubbie out eacy time she goes manic, and has so far managed to divorce him once and nearly twice (they remarried when she got stable again)

It is hard, but it is possible.
Do you have any outside support or are you trying to do it all on your own?

I am finally getting stable on meds and go to therapy on my own. I know that I have to take care of me and am doing just that, we are starting to come together again but I want to make sure things keep going in that direction.

At least you are making the effort, so many don't. My mum thinks as long as she keeps popping her pills all will be fine, but there is so much more to it than that.
It is great that you want to make it work.

Wannabey - I could go on for days about the symptoms of bp, my mum is very severe bp, some have it not so bad.

If you had only lived my life with a Bipolar mum you would understand......me, I would not choose to have a relationship with a bp person purely on the experiences I have lived with all my life with my mum.

My soulmate and I are both BP, which makes for some rocky moments. Well, days, actually!
But it also makes for a lot of understanding that would never be the case, if one of us was 'normal.'
I think the best thing to do is keep uppermost in your mind that it the illness talking, during the bad times, and not to take it personally. Easier said than done, but that IS what's going on.
It's mostly pointless to try reasoning with or defending yourself against any accusations that may be made. You just have to ride it out. And run damage conrol as best you can, depending on what form the manic period takes.
The depression phase is not a lot of laughs, either, for either of you.
Sometimes, it helps to discuss what measures should be taken -- during periods of lucidity.
I wish there were easier answers. I'd like to be able to hadnle it all better than I do.
But even in the throes, we never doubt that we are right for each other. It's just difficult to weather the bad times, when they hit!!
Good luck!!!!!

Ronin - I have never disowned my mum - as you well know - and am always there for her. And I will say again - I would not consider ever having a relationship with a man with bp because of the experiences of bp that I have suffered with my mum.

I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????

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