‘Dancing with the Stars’ Review: "Motown Night"

After last week’s parade of rainbow ruffles on Latin Night, it was time to focus on the Motor City as ‘Dancing with the Stars‘ did its version of a Motown Night.

We started with what can only be described as Zombie Smokey Robinson (seriously, what the hell happened to his face?!), who was joined by Martha Reeves and the Temptations doing a medley of songs everyone over the age of five should be required to know.

Hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke-Charvet, who was wearing a dress that reminded you she has boobs (just in case you forgot), explained that for the first time ever, the dancers would be performing Motown hits as the actual artists who made them famous (or at least bits and pieces of the groups who haven’t yet been zombified) appeared to sing them.

We’re not quite sure how Gladys Knight is going to dance and sing, but let’s see how this pans out. Oh, and there will also be a “dance marathon,” which is basically the ‘DWTS’ version of extra-credit.

Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus
Score: 21 out of 30 (7/7/7)
Buzzkill — Gladys didn’t sing, but instead said she’d be dancing to the Temptations’ ‘My Girl.’ During rehearsals, she explained she and the Pips used to beat the Temps’ asses during softball games. Motown dish! One of her Pips even showed up to help her get her groove on as she prepped for her rumba. Have we mentioned she’s gorgeous? Because good god, she is. Len said she’s not the best dancer but she’s the most charismatic, and Carrie Ann felt bad even critiquing her on Motown Night, but the overall consensus was “we love you, please dance better.”

Maria Menounos and Derek Hough
Score: 26 out of 30 (8/9/9)
Maria said she was ready to “get down and Motown” with her foxtrot, and her performance was backed up by Martha Reeves’ ‘Jimmy Mack.’ Her dance was lovely, but it looked like someone was off-step early on, even though they quickly recovered. Bruno called out the slip but said the performance was a “gleaming blend of sophistication with elegance,” and Len called the dance “a joy to my eyes,” while Martha was a “joy to my ears.”

Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower
Score: 23 out of 30 (7/8/8)
Chelsie explained to Roshon that the rumba is sensual, and then she asked what he thought that meant. And to the joy of abstinence-only educators everywhere, he said it was “like a hug.” The two danced as Zombie Smokey sang ‘Crusin” — and oh my, it looked like Chelsie gave young Roshon a lesson in sensuality because that was kinda steamy, yo. But apparently it had its technical flaws because Carrie Ann said the movements were “too exaggerated” and Len said they were “clipped and jerky.”

Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas
Score: 29 out of 30 (10/9/10)
Katherine had trouble rehearsing for her samba until she got some bounce in her knees, but once she had it down, of course it was great. The pair performed to the Temps’ ‘Can’t Get Next to You,’ with Katherine all glittery gold in both her dress and her bouffanted hair and showing no trace of any bounce trouble whatsoever. Len called her “the midwife” because she “keeps delivering week after week,” and Bruno called the routine “exhilarating.”

Donald Driver and Peta Murgatoyd
Score: 27 out of 30 (9/9/9)
Peta said Donald’s foxtrot needed to be technically awesome, and as much as Donald wants a 10 from Len, he rehearsed — hard. They danced to the Temps’ ‘The Way You Do the Things You Do,’ both of them gorgeous in teal, with a little mid-routine flirtation with the judges thrown in for good measure. Bruno said it had “pizazz, confidence and power,” and Len made Donald’s day by saying it was like “fireworks exploding,” and even pressed Peta to challenge him more.

Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Score: 24 out of 30 (8/8/8)
Melissa doesn’t want to leave yet, but after last week’s mediocre scores, she knew her Viennese waltz needed to be perfect. She and Maks butted heads during rehearsals, but by the time they danced to Zombie Smokey’s ‘Ooo Baby Baby,’ things seemed to come together okay. Melissa tries so hard, but she just never looks quite … I don’t know, “fluid” enough? Carrie Ann said all the hard work shows, and Len said it was done “wonderfully well.”

Jaleel White and Kym Johnson
Score: 29 out of 30 (10/9/10)
Jaleel narrowly escaped elimination last week, with the judges saving him during the Dance Duel. His confidence was a little tattered as a result, but Kym is truly an amazing teacher, so when the pair danced the cha-cha-cha to the Temps’ ‘Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,’ Jaleel’s swagger was back on full display for a stellar performance. Bruno said it was the “biggest sizzler of the season,” and Carrie Ann said he definitely brought his A-game. They awarded Jaleel his highest scores of the season.

William Levy and Cheryl Burke
Score: 27 out of 30 (9/8/10)
Cheryl said she was looking forward to slowing things down with their rumba, and they managed to escape the clutches of Zombie Smokey as he sang ‘Bein’ with You’ (jokes aside, he still sounds great). And holy jalapenos, that dance was seriously hot. Bruno said it was “absolute and utter filth, and I loved every minute of it,” Carrie Ann somehow thought William and Cheryl weren’t connected the whole time (buh?), and Len said it was good but “too raunchy.”

And then it was time for the Dance Marathon. Everyone on the floor at the same time, with the judges eliminating them one by one — the longer they lasted, the more points they got.

Here’s the order each celeb went out, and how many points were added to their scores.

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