Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Final Thump

Note from Lee Ann:Terry died today, June 2, 2009, at 1:21 p.m. His final blog post follows…

So this is it. I have shuffled loose the mortal coil. My soul has been hurled into the great void. I am taking the proverbial dirt nap. I bought the farm. I kicked the bucket. I have checked out. Crossed the River Styx. Bought a pine condo. Ceased to be. I am wandering the Elysian Fields. Gone belly up. Checked out. Cashed in. Sleeping with the fishes. Danced the last dance. Run down the curtain. I am pushing daisies. I have joined the choir invisible. I have paid Charon’s fare. I have succumbed. I have sprouted wings. I am history. I am dead.

I started composing this final message in early October 2008. My once-Grade III Anaplastic Astrocytoma with features of a Grade IV Glioblastoma Multiforme had morphed into a recurrent malignant glioma within 13 months of my initial diagnosis. Where brain tumors are concerned, the word “progression” is the most unkind word of all.

When that became clear in late August and early September, I knew that it was not really a matter of if I was going to die, but when and how to make the absolute best use of the time remaining, whether that was two months or two years.

I never viewed this disease as a “gift” or that I was on some kind of “journey.” It just was. There was no way of knowing how this thing appeared in my brain so I tried not to waste any time or energy wondering what I should have or could have done differently. That would have been an exercise in futility. I think I recall one of my doctors telling me early on that there was no way to determine the cause of 98 percent of primary brain tumors. I was probably in the other two percent that didn’t forward one of those damn chain E-mails to my eight closest friends.

I can’t deny there were times when I felt down about the whole situation. Hell, who wants to die in their mid-40s? Not me. All things considered, I would rather just be going about my life with Lee Ann at my side, watching Dale and Jace grow up and live their lives…and hopefully getting our tile roof replaced one day.

I have no idea what lies beyond.

I do know that if love transcends the boundaries of life and space and time, I have amassed more than enough to carry me safely to my next destination. And I hope that I have left enough behind to help light a path so that we may one day meet again.

And especially to Lee Ann, Dale and Jace…wherever you go and whatever you do, be happy and know that my love will always be with you. Forever. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without the three of you in it. It was a great ride.

So long for now…Love,Terry

Assistant Editor's Note:Mrs. Melonthump would like you all to participate in events planned to remember and celebrate Terry. Thank you.

Terry's Remembrance:Saturday, June 6, 8 pmAt the Country House of Sara and John TrittipoNear Eminence, IN (45 minutes from Indpls)Map to location (link here)Please bring chairs for lakeside event and bonfireCasual attire. Light refreshments.

254 comments:

Terry, geez, even on this saddest of days, you are making me laugh with your writing. You are one indomitable Life Force. The world is dimmer without you. Peace be with you, FC. I love you, I miss you.Emily, your birthday twin

Beloved cousin, witty to the end. I hope you make heaven laugh with your amazing wit and clever wordplay.

You've left a void in our lives by the passing of your physical presence, but our hearts are filled with love for you forever. We will never forget you, beloved and favorite cousin Terry. I love you and always will.

Terry, you had to have been one of the most loved human beings on the planet. Now I imagine you're lighting up the great beyond. My heart goes out to your beloved family. Godspeed, favorite neighbor. I'll see you again someday.

My heart has been breaking too often of late with people of quality passing away in their 40s and 50s.

Terry, it's hard to put my deep respect for you in words. Running an organization of demanding journalists was no easy task, but you did it with professional flair. Thank you and sorry for any gray hairs I may have helped you earn.

If there's blogging software in heaven, please keep posting. We miss you already.

Although we have never met, you will always be family to me. Terry was one of the most fun loving people I have met, and the embodiment of why I am proud to be a part of Phi Psi. I will miss him very much. When this difficult time has passed, I hope the best this world has to offer find it's way to you all.

Dear Lee Ann,I was pointed towards your blog by mutual friends who know that I was friends with you and Terry "back when." I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and your two boys and am so thankful for my memories with you and Terry. I wish you much peace right now. If you don't remember me, that's okay. I remember both of you, fondly.

Amy Hayner KatesNew Orleans(formerly Indianapolis, and Ron Richard's date one New Year's eve at the Indiana Roof with "Beatlemania.")

You weren't my fist boss, but you were the kind that made me never want to leave. Thanks, Terry, for giving this young buck a chance right out of college. To Lee Ann, Dale and Jace - My thoughts and prayers are with you. Your husband and father, as you know, was a remarkable man. Peace,Scott

It was my privilege and pleasure to know Terry, to work with him, and to engage with him during these last years.All of us who loved him, loved his way with words and his unique take on this crazy world, will always have him with us.So often he has given me laughter and tears, and today - of all days - is no exception.With deepest sympathy to his beloved bride and much-adored sons,Ruth Ann Harnisch

It has been a tremendous honor to know Terry. I'm sure your celebration of his life will be absolutely fitting and fabulous -- and I'm so sorry I won't be there among his adoring fans.

Lee Ann, Dale and Jace, if ever I could be of help to you, please let me know. And if you're ever wanting to add to your collection of "Terry Harper stories," know that I stand to be a prolific contributor!

As we read this together we thought often of how much we respect the Harper family. For what they have been through, for their friendship and what you have taught us about what really matters about relationships.

Our lives were blessed to be touched by Terry's love for life, his get-it-done attitude, his humor, the German cheerleading at the Tab soccer games.

LeeAnn, Dale, and JaceMy heart is so heavy now. Words fail me. I wish I could take all the pain away for you. We have been so close for a very long time. I will miss his wit, sarcasm, smile and most of all his gentle nature. My heart goes out to all friends and family of the Harpers in this time of mourning.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Terry was an amazing person and I'm honored to have known him. I'll always remember the joy he brought to the SPJ office with his random guitar playing and jokes. Time spent with Terry was never dull!

LeeAnn, Dale and Jace, Words will not express how sad I feel at this time of your loss. I would wish you love, but I am sure Terry gave you all enough to carry you through a lifetime. I would wish you peace, but only time will wash that upon you. Terry-I had the honor to know you for a short time, but you have stained my heart and mind in a most positive way. To the Harpers-please know Terry is holding a bigger hand and his brilliance will always shine like the stars above. with love,Wayde Turney

I can't stop thinking about the Harpers. The champagne post will stay with me. So will our lunch this winter, Lee Ann. You are something else. So is Terry. Chills are running down my spine as I read everyone's posts. You, Dale and Jace must be so proud and so sad. A heart really can be heavy, can't it? Lee Ann, I will see you this weekend and I will always be here. Love and peace, Jenn Hershberger

I only knew Terry through my work on the Ward Neff Internship over four years at OU and SDSU. He was always supportive and fun to work with. I am deeply moved by his final blog post and my thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

Good bye... How the years so quickly fly by. I so fondly remember being your roommate and pledge brother. Memories and pictures are great. I cherish that we stayed in touch over the years. I wish that after first reading your blog that I would have made an effort to visit you so you could meet my one year old son, Esen, and see my wife, Petra, again. Will now have to make an effort to stay in touch with Lee Ann, Dale and Jace.

I didn't know Terry but I was sent a message today from a fellow association professional of his passing. My husband died from the same tumor at the age of 36 after a 9 month battle with his and all the complications that we could handle. I know what a long strange road Terry and his family was on. My husband wrote a blog too and it was such a great gift to our family, friends and strangers. I read a little of this and it made me cry, but laugh too and made me remember Carl. I wish Terry's family all the best and offer my love and support as a fellow traveler and survivor.

I didn't know Terry, and to be honest, didn't even know of him. However, when I learned of his passing from Phi Psi, I found out that he helped create the PLA conference. I attended this only two weeks after becoming a Phi Psi colony member. It was there that my brothers and I met Phi Psi's from all over the country, and eventually led to our chartering. As we sit here today, we have initiated 84 men into our fraternity, and none of that would have happened without Terry's doing. Our whole chapter is deeply indebted to him and always will be. Clearly he was a great man and our thoughts and prayers go out to the entire Harper family.

Never met you in person but knew of you as the Fraternity's Executive Director back in the early '90's. Thank you for your hard work, your dedication, and your humor. Rest in peace Brother Harper. Live ever, die never.

My heart and thoughts go out to Lee Ann, Dale, and Jace. I know that Terry's spirit, humor, and love will be with you always. And I surely know that Terry's spirit and soul are alive and with his family and loved ones at this very moment!

I just wanted to pay my respects- I don't know you or your family personally but I am a member of the SPJ and had heard about this through the organization. Terry sounds like an inspiring man and as I read through these posts, I am really touched by his courage, wit and humanity. Godspeed.

Heaven has gained an extraordinary man. To Terry, you are an amazing person and I will never forget your tireless pursuit of improving and protecting journalism, as well as your humble and humorous spirit. To Terry's family, remember and relive often the best of times. RIP, Terry.

Lee Ann, Dale, and Jace,Our thoughts are with you in this difficult time. I know you have many who are there to support you. Please know that we are here if you need anything in the coming days and months.Sonia Cassell and Sandy Sheets

Lee Ann,I'm so sorry to hear about the news. Though I never met Terry, it is quite clear how truly loved he was. His writing even made me teary eyed as his playful and caring personality really showed through. I wish the best for you all and my prayers are with you. Bride Trozelli (Vanguard team at Herron)

Lee Ann, Dale, and Jace,Our hearts are very heavy today and we definitely will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.We are blessed to have known Terry for more than 20 years now... but especially for the joy (and struggles) of the last several. We are better people for having known him!May the peace Terry has finally found come into your hearts as well.Much love, The Vachons(Chris, James, Margo, Claire and Dalton)

I'm sad that Terry is gone. Condolences to Lee Ann, Dale and Jace. Bless you. It is clear that Terry is loved by many, many friends. What a gifted writer. It's a sad day for us. Julie Butler (formerly Julie Stribling)

Oh Harperstein – Yesterday I played the action-packed DVD you gave me over and over and it didn’t make all this sadness go away.

You told me as my self-proclaimed mentor that your work was done. I still don’t buy that, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to think about you in certain situations and ask myself what the Great Terry Harper would have done. I’ll miss you telling me to “buck-up and deal with it like a man, Birks.” Thanks for caring enough to call me on all my faults and at the same time convincing me I have the “moxie” to get something done.

Let me also add that you did send me one of those chain emails and I saved it in hopes that it would be extra good luck for you. In your honor, I will never, ever, forward one again.

I’m going to miss the celebration of your life this weekend but I promise to think about you, Lee Ann, Dale and Jace. I would have liked to listen to all those brilliant stories. Your family is lucky to have those great happy memories you created together and I wish the Harper Family many days of recalling them. And although it breaks my heart that you aren’t there to contribute more in person, I feel confident that if anyone can, you’ll have some hand, some how, some way, of witnessing all of the events to come.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to the store to buy my very own pair of Justin Roper’s so I can make a feeble attempt at being as direct, witty, and look as cool, calm, confident and collected as someone like you Harper.

I will really miss you, my friend. I consider it a great honor to have been one of your buddies. And there you have it!Birks

I did not have the pleasure of knowing Terry personally, but I came to know of him through SPJ publications. My father also battled brain cancer for 2 years before leaving us. He was 51. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and it is still as fresh in my mind as if it was yesterday.

To all of Terry's family and friends - Unfortunately, I understand your pain all too well. I don't think it ever gets easier, but I like to think that now I have a sort of guardian angel looking out for me. I'm sure Terry is doing the same for all of you.

Be strong, and let's all try to band together to find a cure so that no one has to leave this world so early.

Terry, you will be deeply missed by the SPJ community, our beloved Hoosier state and the lives you touched across the nation in your all-too-brief 40 some years. Lee Ann, Dale and Jace, what an amazing man you called husband and father. I will miss his laughter dearly at convention and the power with which he led SPJ. My prayers are with you all.

Terry was a national consultant to the fraternity in about '87 when we met over lunch at a San Marcos restaurant. I still grin at how freaked he was to look up and see a possum staring down from the ceiling! He knew then that he was in Texas.

Our paths have crossed many times since then, and, simply put, he was a good guy. I can think of no bigger compliment.

I never met you until today (in your blog post), but spent 47 years as a professional journalist so I know you by osmosis. Your goodbye note is perfect; I'm sure you will be missed by many, including, by osmosis, me. My condolences to your loved ones for this temporary intermission. Don Singleton

I knew Terry from Yukon High School, and we communicated occasionally when I was executive director of the Outdoor Writers Association of America. We laughed that our lives had taken such similar paths. He was a good guy. My thoughts are with the entire Harper family. I hope the sun shines again very soon.

My heart goes out to all of you. I am so sorry for your loss. I stumbled across this blog while researching GBM IV a few days ago. Although I don't know any of you, I felt an instant connection to your story. My mother-in-law was diagnosed last September and went through surgery, radiation and chemo. A few weeks ago, she had an abnormal MRI. A followup PET scan came back inconclusive and she is set to begin Avastin in a few days. This road is a difficult one to travel, and every day brings ups and downs. It gives me hope to see that in spite of this rollercoaster and in the face of such an illness, Terry and his family remained strong and full of positivity through it all. Thank you to all of you for sharing your story, and know that Terry's words are helping others.

Jim and I want you to know that you are in our thoughts at this difficult time. It has always been evident to us that Terry loved all of you very much. Carry that love with you.Peace,Jan Gildner and Jim Trulock

Lee Ann, Dale and Jace,I'm not sure I ever met Terry but new of him as one of the shining stars of Phi Kappa Psi and our Oklahoma Beta chapter. He was a very special person and his death leaves an empty spot in the heart of our brotherhood as I know it does in yours. I am so sorry for you loss.

I realize that I have no words to truly express how sorry I am for your loss. Terry sounds like he was an amazing man and the world will be a little less bright without him in it. My heart goes out to you Lee Ann and your 2 sons, Dale and Jace.

Lee Ann, Dale, and Jace, we miss Terry so very much. Everyone at our house always looks forward to our family visits and expects them to continue. I was never any match for Terry's wit, but Chip and Lee Ann will keep the verbal zingers up tempo.

I dont quite know what to say as most of it has already ben said by Terry and many who clearly love you and your family. Angie & I are sincerely and profoundly heartbroken! We had no idea this was going on in your life until today. We see pictures of you and Terry and our time together in Cabo all of the time as Angie has random pictures as her screen saver. We both loved our time in Cabo with you and Terry and have smiled hundreds of times when the picture of Terry comes up on the computer screen of him at the top of the hill with his fists in the air, as if to say "We made it!"We always knew our paths had crossed for a reason, and we had hoped they would cross again. Hearing the news today the reason became clearer. February 10th Angie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. After a Bi-Lateral mastectomy and 4 of a scheduled 8 months of Chemo, she is building strength and momentum!Since finding out about Terry this afternoon at 2pm, I have read your entire site and amidist many tears and a few smiles, I am overwhelmingly inspired by Terry, you, your boys and how you have handled all of this. This must be hell for you this week, but know that you are deeply in our hearts and prayers!

Wether it was a brief encounter or a lifelong friend Terry's impression on us all will be everlasting. Terry's life should be an example to us all on how to live. Terry had great friends and family who were with him to the end - that in itself is a blessing. Years from now I hope he continues to put smiles on all our faces.Thanks for sharing Terry with us Lee Ann (as if you had a choice).Mike and Deb Garcia

My name is Loyd, I deliver the Indy Star an employee of ONtyme inc. I was reading the obits when I stumbled upon yours. I was deeply saddened to hear about your death. I have nothing but great wishes for your wife and children. I wish them hope and faith in the coming days and years. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers. May god bless your family.

My deepest sympathies on a loss that I can't fully understand. Terry was a great brother, and friend to me. He helped immensely when I worked in Cabo, and made me laugh countless times in the years we knew one another.

I lost my wife to cancer at the age of 47 almost 4 years ago. I'm real sorry for your loss Lee Ann, Dale and Jace but you will see Terry again someday. This I am certain. And Terry ... please say "Hi" to Laurie from me.

To the Family, our heart felt condolences and prayers are with you in your loss and through the times ahead. It is my hope that Terry and the family has found peace and hope in a Certain Future, knowing Christ as Savior for this is the sum of life. His sharp wit and character will be missed. Tomarmst and family

Terry, I didn't have the pleasure of knowing you. But you're sense of humor, outlook on life and dealing with your illness reminds me of my father. Whom I consider my HERO. The peace you have given your family thru you're blog is truly AMAZING! I couldn't help but laugh while reading your first paragraph and thinking WOW this is someone being real. This is how I would want it. A celebration of an amazing person! My prayers are with your wife and sons! May God Bless You All! And Thank You Terry for touching many lives. Even those of us that by some miracle came across your blog.

Lee Ann, Dale and Jace, I don't know you but I know a great dad when I hear one. Terry sounds like a wonderful, thoughtful man. I'm a mother in Washington DC and am so moved by his letter. My thoughts are with you. You are so lucky to have had such a loving father and husband in your lives.

Lee Ann, my heart goes out to you. I too lost my husband to a glioblastoma multiforme on September 7, 2002. He didn't make it to his 54th birthday, which he would have celebrated on September 11, 2002. Your story reminds me so much of Chuck. He possessed such a dry sense of humor and I miss him every minute. He made it two days short of 2 years after his first gran mal seizure. We spent most of our time together saying goodbye to his friends during his last two years. He, like Terry, prepared his goodbyes when he knew he wouldn't make it. He planned his memorial service even picking out the music (Creedance Clearwater Revival!). We had a great life, it sounds like you and Terry did also. May God bless you and your sons. He already holds Terry in his arms. Terry, like Chuck, is ok now. You will be too.with love,Martha Lane-Szescila

I didn't know Terry but find his simple thoughts to be inspiring. I am 48 with four kids. My own father died at 49 in 1966 when I was five. I will try to be a more patient and forgiving father to them all, despite the daily challenges. Our time with them is short. Thank you for reminding me of that with your blog post. Thoughts and prayers to you all.

Im not an active blog reader, but this article caught my attention on AOL. I hope that you (Lee Ann) and your sons are doing as best as you coulg at this time. Thank you for sharing your life with the world. You make me realize how life should becherished. Blessings to you and your family at this difficult time.

Wow, I did not know Terry or his family, but saw the article on AOL and had to read it. My heart is breaking for you all. He seemed like such a genuine person. His blog made me laugh and cry at the same time...My dad passed away a year ago from lung cancer that also spread to his brain. I understand what you all have been through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

My prayers are with you. Remember that our God is a just God. He offers peace and grace. Salvation through Christ will heal your soul. Only by the blood of Jesus are we forgiven. I am sorry for your lost.

I did not know Terry, I do not know you, Lea Ann, Dale and Jace. I am however touched deeply by Terry and your family's love for each other and courage to share this personal story.Everyone is sorry for your loss, but I am happy for you because you have a special bond of love that many look for, but never find. The Harper family has had more than most other people could ever have and that will carry you through and out weigh the sorrow of today.God Bless all of you.......

To Terry: On the other side you'll meet my son, Matt, who at the age of 30, left this world after a very similar experience. He, too, was happy, positive, and witty. He lived every day and was surrounded by family and friends. I really don't know what or if I believe, or what the "other side" could possibly be, but I want to think it's real and good, and if that's true, then I think you and Matt will be friends. It's been two years, eight months, and twenty-two days since Matt left this world, and still sometimes I think I can't go on, but we were blessed to have Matt, as your family was blessed to have you. My heartfelt condolences go to your family, your wife, your sons, your parents... No Day But Today.

I am not family, nor even a friend but I am someone from Dubai who is touched by your story and his blog. What a great gift Terry gave to you all through his kind words, wisdom, ability to remain sane and keep his cancer at what it was. Just Is. He didn't blame, hate or question God. It takes more love in your heart to accept your destiny and Terry truely has shown his love in the best way possible. Lee Ann, I'm 45, my favorite place in the world is also Cabo and God willing will be there again in 2010Keep this blog alive by sharing your experience bad and good. I will keep in touch and maybe you can join us in Cabo next year. We are timeshare owners at Coral Baja.

I don't know you or your family; however, I saw this today on the internet. I lost my mom when I was 15. A long time ago but you don't forget. She had a stroke/aneurism when I was 10. Long fight which in the end she gave up. I admire you, your husband and family's fight to support each other until the end as I am sure you will continue to do. You sound like you had an incredible relationship and love for each other - which is what really matters and will carry you through. I am truly sorry for your loss and know there are so many people out there who love you and and are here for you. May the good memories and knowing he is no longer in pain give you peace. I have always believed it is harder on those of us who remain behind. Life for us changes in so many ways. As the saying goes, life goes on and it does. You will find joy and laughter in your daily lives again after you let yourselves mourn. For me sometimes life felt unbearable but then I didn't have the network of support and love you do and sometimes I found support in the least expected places or people. I made it through and love my life. In this darkness you will find light. Let yourselves be cradled in all the love that is embracing you. Our prayers and love are with you. I hope it is okay for a total stranger (although I don't feel like one after reading the blog!) to somehow try to be here for you.

Just read this blog. Terry lives every day on his family, his legacy is the strenght and courage he pass on them. Nobody is gone when memories fill our days with smiles.Lucy Arciniega-Katzlucykatz@hotmail.com

Just by reading several of Terry's older posts, you can understand just how funny this man was-- and how much he cared for his family. May the love he gave to you all not go to waste, but help you grow and move on.

I did not know Terry, who he was or what he did until reading this story. After reading his blog and the hundred or so comments one thing is clear - He was successful in life. Not by the job he held or posistion in his field but by the comments that were written about him, THAT is how you measure success! There are plenty of people in this world who have money, fame and all that goes with it but are not truly loved for WHO they are but what they have become. Terry became what we all should inspire to be - a genuine, honest, thoughtful, husband, father, and friend to all who knew him. I am 45 and like Terry I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful daughters. I was diagnosed with cancer four years ago and am doing well now, I can't imagine having to write goodbye to my wife and daughters the way Terry did. God Bless to his wife and sons and be proud that he knew what was really important in life, his family.

I did not know Terry, but stumbled upon his blog via the wonders of the internet. I am Terry's age. And I found his blog touching and educational. My best to his family and friends, and even though Terry and I were not acquainted, I know the world is now missing a wonderful human being, but can you imagine the fun he is now having at his new destination? I wish you all comfort and peace. Ron

My condolences to Terry's family. I don't know you, but am an unwilling friend to your pain. I lost my own father to cancer when I was 22 and my sister was barely graduated from high school. At this point, you may still be numb, but when the feeling comes back much like the firey tingle when your limbs have been without blood for too long, cling to your favorite memories, his lingering voice, and the many things he taught you. They make it a little easier to go another day without him. I wish you peace of mind and heart, and the beginning of the slow healing of your broken hearts.

Lee Ann, Dale and Jace, I'm reading this blog because AOL posted an article about Terry's final message. I don't know you and you don't know me, it doesn't matter. To know the kind of man Terry was is inspiring.Writing his final message and you having the courage to post it here is a lesson many of us need to learn. Please keep this Blog, to use it to teach others how to deal with pain.Blessings to you all.

I stumbled across this post via the net and while I have never met Terry, his family or friends, I feel as though I've known them forever. Know that Terry and you all are in my prayers and thougths. I friend in PA

For someone who has been bitter about his own terminal diagnosis for far too long now...thank you for putting into perspective a concept of time. Like yourself, I am part of the 2% who said to hell with chain emails...but I said to hell with happiness as well. I hope when I am gone the "love I leave behind will light a path" as well...I just need to get busy with whatever time I have left.

At 6 AM this morning, I was lying in bed reliving an experience that I had 3 years ago this past May. To be honest,all I could think of was that I have not shared enough with other people.

I always wondered as Terry did. Where do we go when our bodies wears down? I had a heart attack and died in my driveway.

I found myself sitting in a most peaceful garden. I was sitting up and my dress was spread around my feet. (I was wearing the exact dress and was lying on the driveway). All I wanted to do was reach up and touch the sun that was not blinding to my eyes. It was neither hot nor cold. No wind. Just a perfect day. The grass and leaves on the trees were a stunning green. The flowers were bold and bright in color.

I kept hearing my son call Mom repeatedly. I thought....You can't go for a walk without finding out what Ben needs.

Next thing I knew, I was being put into an ambulance.

I do not know what happened in that time span because my husband and son don't speak of it.

What I am getting at is that after you draw your last breath on earth you do go to another place that I choose to call heaven. As the bible says no more sorrow, no more pain.

I hope this gives some comfort to all of Terry's Family and Friends. I am praying for all of you.

So sorry for the loss of Terry. One of the lines in his final blog said he did not know what lies ahead. Those who read this, please check out the bible. There is a beautiful plan of salvation laid out for all who will believe. That keeps the sadness from being final.

My prayers and thoughts are with your family, I have never met any of you, but was drawn to this blog like many, it was read with tears and laughter, Terry seemed like a wonderful and funny man with quite the sense of humor.........while you will grieve over this weekend, I hope your celebration is a fun one, sounds like thats what he would want!

From one Harper family to another... my thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find strength in the love and laughter you shared as I am learning to do. My husband John Harper died unexpectedly last December at just 46. Reading Terry's words, I know they would have been fast friends and I am sure are sharing a drink laughing at all of us.I wish all of you who loved Terry the comfort of knowing how very much you are loved.Korinne Harper

Didn't know you or your family. However, being an Okie and lived in Yukon for a while, while reading the story brought me here. Wanted to stop by and say how sorry I am for your loss of Terry. He is your guardian angel and he will always be with you. Love carries on! Prayers from us to you....Hometown Tulsa Oklahoma.

My father died 3 years ago from brain cancer. How your lives have been tested and how well you have handled yourselves. Terry was a lucky man to have had such a wonderful family surrounding him and what a wonderful man to be so witty, right to the end. He obviously was surrounded by as much love as humanly possible and may you find comfort in knowing he no longer suffers and keep the memories alive FOREVER!!

Cancer is an ugly demon that effect us all in some way or another. I did not know Terry, but I wish I did. He sounded like a really awesome person. May his memories give you strength during this time of sorrow. God broke your hearts by taking Terry too soon, but know this, god only takes the best. You have my sincere condolences on the loss of your father, husband, and best friend.

One of my only regrets is that I did not have the blessing of meeting this man. I came across this story today on AOL, and posted it on Redblueamerica.com along with a blog about him; the man I did not meet, but rocked my soul, in hopes that his story would rock others as well. God bless all of you that did indeed know and love him, and my prays go out to his family.

I am very touched by the writings of your husband and father. He was a wonderful and very couragious person though I never had the priveledge of meeting him and I feel very sad to learn of his passing. You are all blessed by having such a wonderful person in your life and it seems so cruel to have him taken away so soon from all of you. The only thing I can say to you in such a tragedy is to hold on to his memory and treasure all the many happy times with him for you were all blessed to have him in your life. He is now in a peaceful place and he is free from suffering. I too have been grieving my dad who had been a loving and supportive father and an anchor in our family and though he lived a longer life I suffer because he died by his own actions thru suicide and we are all hurting because we were not there when he needed us most yet he was always there for us. Your husband and father was special and you must be strong and honor his memory. I will pray for Terry Harper and for his wonderful loving and very special family. May God help you through this very sad time and the love and support of your family and friends.

What an amazing legacy of love and humor that Terry has left for his family and friends. Thank you for sharing his story.

"Place me like a seal over your heart...For love is as strong as death,its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away"(Song of Songs 8:6-7).

I just learned about this blog through an article on AOL and have just spent an hour reading. What a loss for all the people who loved this man! What a gift Terry left for his family with that final post. My wonderful brother, Tom Hall, fought a similar battle against the powerful GBM...a battle also fought with great wit and strength and positive enery. Tom lost his battle on March 19, 2007, at the age of 55, 14 months after his initial diagnosis. Tom and our family's mottos throughout the battle:"It is what it is". "It'll become clear" and "Brain tumors suck". Praying for you all.Patty VonderHeideHinsdale,IL

I was reading my everyday AOL news and came across this story, A man blogs final message. It caught my eye and kept me reading. For I am a stranger to this man and family but in the brief reading that reeled me in of a man with such humor, love of his family and friends, that even on his last blog, he does it with such humility and humor. It reminds me because I am a woman in her late 30s with a brain disorder Arnold Chiari Malformation, it may not be turminoil but his story reminds me to live life with humor and love and compassion. Humor is what gets me by and thank you Terry for reminding me that life is so precious no matter our circumstances.

God Bless your family and God Bless you for your Final Thump that touched my soul.

I just found this blog and want to tell you how very very sorry I am for your loss. The love you all feel for eachother is palpable, and I was honored, if just for a moment, to be part of it. I wish you all peace...

LEE ANN, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR YOUR LOSS. I AM MORE SORRIER THAT I WAS NOT ABLE TO SEE OR READ ABOUT TERRY EARLIER THAN TODAY. I HAVE HAD LOSTS OF LOSS WITHIN THE PAST YEAR AND KNOW THE PAIN IT CAUSES, BUT, FROM READING TERRY'S BLOGS, WOW!, I CANT BELEIVE WHAT I READ. HE WAS TRULY AWESOME, AND TO PUT INTO WORDS WHAT HE WAS GOING THRU, ITS TREMENDOUS. I PRAY FOR YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS TO RECEIVE THE COMFORT HEALING IN THESE TIMES. I AM IN PUERTO RICO, AND BEING RAISED IN NJ, I AM BILINGUAL, AND FOR SOME REASON, I LIKE TO READ AND ALSO WRITE POEMS FOR OCCASIONS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE, IN THE FUTURE TO STAY IN TOUCH, YOU MAY EMAIL ME AT: lucyeddie1977@yahoo.com I HAVE EMAILS SENT TO ME FROM FARRAH FAWCETTS AND PATRICK SWAYZE'S COMMEMTS. I LIKE TO PRAY FOR ALL WHO OT ONLY HAVE CANCER, LIKE I DID, BUT ALSO FOR (EVERYONE) AROUND THE WORLD, NO MATTER IF I KNOW THEM OR NOT, FAMILY OR NOT, I B-LEIVE THAT GOD IS EVERYWHERE AND (IF ITS HIS WILL) HE WILL CURE US. MAYBE HE(AND I B-LEIVE THIS)NEEDED TERRY EARLIER THAN HE THOUGHT. WILL KEEP U IN MY PRAYERS..LUCY (I HAVE A COUPLE EMAILS IN CASE, IN THE NEAR FUTER U MAY WANT TO SEND A COMMENT, THANKS...

Lee Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. Terry was an unbelievable person... although I never knew him, through his words I feel as if I do. I Lost my 29 year old son to the same damn brain cancer and there are many similar experiences in Terry's blogs and the diary I wrote while my son was going through all the various treatments. When you have some time, please take a look at the website I was inspired to create in honor of my son and to help others who have suffered the loss of such a dear, dear loved one.http://www.deathdoesnotexist.com PS my son is an Oklahoma boy,too, born in Deaconess hosp,OKC in 1978.Love and light and peace to you and your children,Camille Creepingbear-Wagoner

I called my Dad to tell him about Terry. After reading Terry's blog my Dad sent me this e-mail:

"I read Terry and Lee Ann's story in their own words. After reading it, I feel I missed out on meeting a great man. It is so encouraging to hear of a wife like Lee Ann. She not only stuck with Terry, but he was able to experience her and their sons fighting with him and for him.

What a great tribute to Terry and a marvelous example to others who are in the same circumstances. Lee Ann and sons remind me of my friend Susan (wife of Bill Wooten and his son J.R.) who stayed with their dad right to the end.

This family has walked on sacred ground. I pray that their awareness of Terry's love will continue to grow stronger and their awareness of love bigger than death will continue to hold them."

Lee Ann, you don't know me, not yet. I want to give you info about an online widows bulletin board I've been a member of for almost 4 years now, ever since my husband died in 2005. http://www.ywbb.org/forums/ubbthreads.php?Cat=0

You may not be ready for this yet, but it may be the best thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes the best thing is to just talk to others who have been where you are right now.

My husband didn't have cancer, he had a heart attack, but the grief is the same after the fact. And it's also very different for each of us.

If you come to our board, you will find people there who will walk beside you and hold you up when you need it, we get it.

Hello family. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father and your husband Lee Ann. I wanted to let you know that I just went through the same thing with a friend from work named Leigh Stringham. She made it through Fri, June 5th, 2009. She'd been battling the same type of cancer Terry had been since Nov 2007. How odd is that? Hers was discovered on the top of her brain right in between the "split". They said hers would be "ok" and that if they went in to remove it that she would recover quickly and take some chemo and that would be that. Once they were in, they discovered it was this Glioblastoma and it had rooted itself down into her brain and not merely on "top" of it. She was able to live a while on chemo but the doctors said she would not survive regardless because it was not in solid tumor form anymore. Weird huh? She quit taking chemo a few months before she passed but unfortunately she wasn't as fortunate as Terry. She lost most all motor skills and the ability to speak during the last few months of this period. She too has two children, Dillon 9 and Evie 13. God bless you and your family. Maybe Terry and Leigh have already met up there. They are both pretty funny people. I enjoyed reading Terry's blog. In your prayers thank him for me for his courage and his wittiness. He is one heck of a strong man :)

Terry must have been a unique person to be able to keep peace, love and harmony all along and throughout his suffering. I have only come to know him through his words and the words of those who love him, and I realize what a wonderful guy he is. My condolences to the family and friends ... and remember to be grateful for the time you spent with him and I am sure that he will remain alive in your hearts.

I would imagine Terry is in heaven right now making everyone laugh. He seems like he was a very big hearted man. Your in my thoughts and prayers. God be with you and give you all the strength to make it through just one day at a time.You all will be together one day, God bless you all.

To Terry and family: I may not have ever known you but I found your story this morning on the front page of AOL and found it to be one of the saddest yet most touching and inspiring stories I've seen in a while. I've shared your blog with many others already. You will also be in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully I can speak for the rest of those I've shared this with when I say you'll be in their thoughts and prayers as well. Peace, love, respect - Scott.

I expect now that your story is so public, that you will be getting notes from many anonymous strangers. I hope you will consider them a beacon of love and hope surrounding you all. My deepest condolences on the loss of what I can tell was a very special man.

I saw this on AOL and felt compelled to check it out. A few years back my family lost a dear friend to brain cancer. He started having headaches and went to the Dr. and found out he had several tumors on his brain that were inoperable. He decided he was going to live the life he had left...and he did for 6 more months. I say thank you to Terry for writing about his journey with the awful killer-cancer and showing the strength he had the whole way through! My heart goes out to you Lee Ann, Dale, Jace and the rest of Terry's family and friends and I am very sorry for your loss.

This makes me appreciate life and those in it so much more. I am thankful for Terry's last thoughts as they have helped me to see things from the proper perspective. I live with a rare lung disease and I am only 38...I worry about leaving my daughter behind before she, or I, am ready...I think the message here from Terry is to cherish those in your life and make the most of each day. He is right, love transcends this earth and I am sure he is watching you all and sending lots of love your way. God bless.

I didn't know Terry. I don't know Lee Ann, her Sons, family or friends. I am saddened by your loss. There are few great men in the world. Not great men by what they have accomplished in their careers, but great men by how much they loved and are loved. I can tell he was one of those men. I hope you find comfort in his memories. And to Lee Ann...sleep with his favorite shirt wrapped in your arms. That way he will never be far away. God Speed Terry.

To Terry's Family....I am so sorry for your loss. By what it I saw online you had an amazing husband and father who handled life with passion and dignity. I don't know you, I don't know all the details...I do know that my family is as important to me as Terry thought of you. My wishes are with you and the prayers are already done. I ran accross your story and just wanted to wish you the best possible at a time like this. It's amazing to see a man express his emotions to a family he clearly loved.

My name is Charlie and I do not remember how I came across this blog, but I am gratful that I did. Terry, you had a big load on your shoulders for quite some time. Just reading your struggle to beat the cancer gave me moments where I think I would have given up. Thank you and your family for giving me the opportunity to find and read your heroic fight. Rest in peace.

Even though I don't know the family physically, I feel I know you spiritually. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Terry sounded as though he was a pretty amazing husband and father, it's just too bad that he had to be one of the ones who had to have a deadly disease.

And although the world may be a little dimmer without him, your lives are brighter because he was a part of it!

Just make sure you smile whenever you think of him, and if you find a penny or a dime on the ground, it's from Terry, sending you LOVE!

I am going to go back and read all the other entries. From the sheer number of comments and the post from your wife, etc...it is clear that you were deeply loved - and love endures. My heartfelt condolences to your family and friends and I'm so glad this got national press attention. Such an inspiring blog post!

My brother Steve was diagnosed with Stage IV GBM March of '06 - he is still with us but now fading faster than we can keep up with... key word, "we". He is keeping us up. We are 5 sisters and mom and dad. And 1 daughter. And 14 nieces and nephews. And one ex-wife. And the love of his life girl friend. He and Terry would have been friends.

I am sitting here in Providence, RI with tears streaming down my face. I obviously do not know you and you do not know me. Take solace in knowing that you are not alone in your pain, as thousands of people that have read your story are feeling it with you. Thank you for reminding me how short and fragile life can be. I feel a bit silly for fretting over my landscaping project that I am preparing to start today. I am going to take my three-year-old son and dog out for a bike ride right now.....the dishes can wait. All my very best wishes in coping, healing and smiling again knowing that your husband and father truly is in the sun that will beat down upon you and provide warmth in the days ahead.

Bless you Lee Ann, Dale and Jace. You don't know me, as I am a complete stranger- but my heart bears the pain of your plight. I am sorry that Terry is gone. Together you have created two beautiful sons. I am sure you are proud of them and there is no doubt Terry was too. In these tough times, I wish you all the strength to face the days, weeks, and months ahead. Terry will be remembered by many and forgotten by none.

I don't know if Terry's family will actually read this. I hope they do.

I'm a cadet at the Massachusetts Maritime Academy. I don't know you, you don't know me, but I am touched by your story.

Last fall, as Terry suffered this, I was placed on suicide watch and found myself wondering why I should keep living. Even in my recovery this year, that question sometimes knaws at the back of my mind. But, now... on this day, out of no where, I've come closer to truly knowing that life is worth living by the words of Terry's last post.

Thank you Terry, you've touched the life of a complete stranger in a positive manner today. My prayers go with you and your family.

I happened to find this blog today, and I feel it was truly for a reason. First, I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Terry, but, just from reading through his blogs, I can see what kind of an impact this man made on many lives. I lost my father 7 years ago to cancer. He only made it 42 days after his initial diagnoses. His poor body was so riddled with cancer they couldn't even determine where it started, only where it would end. He passed away just shortly after his 45th birthday. I have had much anger, resentment, hate, sadness... all the emotions over the last 7 years but, reading Terry's blogs made me change me see things in a different light. It's kind of hard to explain.. At any rate... I just wanted to share that, and say thank you for allowing me a glimpse at your world and your lives... and your absolute love and respect for the life we do live.

Lee Ann, I know it doesn't help much but I'm sorry about your loss. I understand what you're going through. I just lost my husband to colon cancer May 14th and still don't think it has sunk in totally yet. It's not easy being strong for yourself and trying to be there for a child too; we have a 9yr old boy. If ever you want to talk to a stranger who's been there, or should I say going through it too you can email me at crusaderkitty@aol.com. I do know Terry's watching out for you and your family and love surpasses death. God Bless. Christy

It was shocking to see Terry's photo on the scrolling new's stories on aol - I thought, that guy looks very familiar and indeed he was! We worked for our respective fraternities at the same time and became good buddies for awhile. I left the area and moved back to Oregon, and lost track of Terry.

I am so sorry to reconnect to this wonderful human being (and his family) through this great loss. He always had me laughing and I had to keep on my toes to make sure I didn't get embarrassed by one of his jokes.

I'm sorry for your loss but am sure that life with Terry has left you with wonderful memories. My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Dear Lee Ann,I had not known of Terry, you or your family until I was reading the news this morning and linked to the blog. Terry must have been a welcomed brave heart to be loved and encased by so many people. Your son's and you will be warmed and loved always by Terrys actions, words and memories. Death is never easy. Why must it happen earlier to people who are so deservant of life? I hope and pray that your hearts are well and will find peace in Terry's.... final peace. No more pain, not more waiting. For Terry to feel such love from his wife and son's is amazing for all of us to know from his words.I am bystander....a simple person whom now he has touched as well. Thank you Terry for your words. Thank you Lee Ann and Dale and Jace for the love shown to such a great Dad and Husband. How proud is he of you all. How appreciative I am to read the words of a stranger that are now embedded in my heart.With warmth...be at peace.

Lee Ann, Dale and Jace- My dad died of a brain tumour 16 years ago. I am still sad but I try to bring him up as often as possible and talk about him so that I can honor his time here. I can think of nothing worse besides dying then to die and be forgotten. Don't keep him quiet- he sounds like a great man- share him. My kids never met my Dad but they can tell you that he loved lamb with a side of olives, never missed a Steelers game and grew up in a small steel town that admired brawn over brains and guts over glory!!! sorry for your loss becky suder

My father also died from cancer. Your site made me think (which of course, I continuously do) about many moments me and my dad shared together while he was alive. Of course, his illness...did not out weigh the joys we shared as family. But your site has given me another perspective. It has made me smile. I would consider it an honor to have "Thumping My Mellon" as a link for my visitors to go and read. My site is: http://genealogydomain.com/ my email is genealogydo@aol.comWe are a "free" site that is dedicated to family.May God bless you and your family with unlimited blessings.Owner,Ruby

My heart goes out to the entire family! I am truely sorry for you lost, and as i read all the blags i cried cause i couldn't do that if i was in that state. My god he was a stronge man with a big heart and made sure in his final resting days his family and friends knew it. Prayers with you all.Jennifer Heffner from Greenville S.C.

We have just read Terry's Blog. We are so sorry for your loss. He was so full of life. Obviously he wanted to live to be with his wonderful wife and sons but also wanted them to go on and be happy with out him, knowing that he was STILL there with them in so many ways. He so wanted to lightened the mood and thoughts of this by the things he was saying in the beginning, again....thinking about his family. Death is so hard. We know this because our 19 year old son passed 4 months ago.

His memories will be with you all forever and no one can take that away. Know that you are in our prayers.He truly loved you all so much !!!

I had to read your story. I dont know you but its sounds like your family is incredible. I know the fight you fought. My mom died 8 years ago after 8 months with her glioblastoma. She was 62 and never sick a day in her life. 8 months is such a short time but in the realm of this disease shorter is better. God bless you and know he is in great company.Kathleen

I didn't know Terry nor do I know you Lee Ann. I will however say that my husband had a brain tumor last year and he recovered. So I sort of have an idea of what you have gone through though no one can ever really know the experience of others.

I am so so sorry for what you have gone through and for your loss. I think that you all are very lucky to have know each other and for the time you had together.

And I can only assume just how strong all of you are, and how that strength will help you get through the next few months of mourning.

Again I am so sorry and I hope that you all can focus on the best times you had with Terry and not the times when he was sick.

I just heard about this blog today...sorry for your lost. My father died at age 40...30 years this July 2009 from the same type of brain cancer...my father left behind a wife and 5 children ages 17, 16, 14, 5, and 2.

I don't know the family,but I feel your pain...you are in my prayers...GOD bless.

My greatest sympathy to a very good family and so much family strength which our world surely needs more of, Heaven truly has another great Angel he certainly left a great legacy. Our famly lost a sister who was 45 to the great evil Cancer!! This story surely will remind me to Thank God for what I have left on this earth...Many Blessings to all of you. MaryAnne

I didnt know Terry, or his family, but my deepest condolences to your family at this time. I also lost my 42yr old husband to a brain tumor giloplastoma, we learned about it on Jan 4th 2008, my 32nd birthday. My husband later passed on Apr 5th 2008. There was nothing the Dr's could of done for my husband. Surgery would of killed him instantly. We had 10 great yrs together...I miss him dearly and nt a day goes by that our family doesnt think of him. I hope you heal the bast way you can. After 1 yr, im still learning how to heal, but just thankfull to have such great family and friends. I hope you have the same....

You don't know me. I live in Florida. I just read about Terry on the AOL IM main page news. I feel horribly that you had to lose a most important person in your life and from his blog seemed to be so full of fun, laughter and life. I'm glad your children are old enough to remember their father and they understand he will always be with them in heart. He will be watching you all. Boys, take care of your mom and grow up successful and happy as that is what your dad would want you to do.

I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope people will read this blog and then reexamine their lives. I hope they will do what Terry did - to live their lives the best they can and love the ones who mean the most to us!

I too lost my father to cancer, he was 49. I was only 13 at the time and now am 24. I am writing you today to let you know it is important that you always remember that he will be watching over you. Different people handle death in different ways, but I made a special point to live my life in a way that would make my father proud. Look forward to the days when you have kids of your own and get to tell them about what a great man there grandfather was, until than it is important that you look after your mother. Trust me as hard as it is to lose a father it is harder to lose a spouse, a partner, and a best friend and that is exactly what your mother has lost. Watch over her, make sure she is always ok and never forget the sacrifices both your mother and father have made for the both of you. I leave you with my condolences and prayers that your family makes it through this hard time. The future will be challenging but remember that your father will always be by your side.

Thank you for allowing strangers the opportunity to read Terry's blog. AOL posted your link on their main pages. This blog reminds us all how precious life is and how important it is to love those around you and to live each day the best you can. I wish your family peace and continued strength. I believe in God and heaven and know that peoples spirit's live on. Just by my short visit here, you have shared such touching moments in your lives and I humbly thank you for allowing me to visit here. By the way your husband wrote and his family pictures, I can tell he was a wonderful person. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care and Gob Bless Terry's soul, you, and your kids...