Now, add up all the San Francisco County land area amidst these points and you’ll get 46.something square miles. Sry.

Anyway, this is wrong:

So that’s your answer, 46 square miles. Oh, you want to round up to 47? OK. No but really you want to round up to 49, you know, for the poetry of it all?

Well, then why not round up to 50, or 100 square miles then?

Of course, back in the day, 49 square miles was a fair guess – 7×7 right? But the problem with that is geography. We were forgetting the Great San Francisco Bight, the part of SF’s northwestern corner that just aint there.

Now I say shadowy ’cause all you see coming out of this official SF department is “SF Environment,” which I suppose the SF Dept of the Environment people think looks better than “SF Dept of the Environment?” (Compare that with the SFPUC calling itself “SF Water” and the claim from at least one of its employees/contractors that the term PUC must surely apply to the CAPUC and not the SFPUC.) Moving on…

And I say cryptic because:

So let’s see here, instead of recycling all my crap what I actually do, apparently, is find a hole and throw it in there, and if everybody did that, then SF County would become a giant cube of garbage going all the way to the troposphere.

Well, no it’s not. Add together all the land of San Francisco County, even including all the landfill and the Farallones and Alcatraz and even including the slivers of islands we only have small parts of, like Angel Island and Red Rock Island and Alameda Island, all of it, is only just 46 point something square miles.

Don’t you people know that?

So 7×7 = 49, yeah sure, that’s a good start, but what about the Great San Francisco Bight? (Or bite, either way.) A big part of our Upper Left is missing, right?

So you’re the great cheerleaders for the City and County but you don’t even know what it looks like, right?

Is this pedantry what I’m committing? Well, you tell me, babe. Hey, let’s talk about the other Mayor who got appointed by Mayor Willie Brown – let’s hear something from Gavin Newsom:

Well leaving aside the facts that SF wasn’t founded in 1849 and it wasn’t founded by 49’ers (who actually lived far to the east of SF in 1849), and that some 49’ers settled in Santa Clara as well, leaving all that aside, we’re not a 49 square mile city, right? So that shouldn’t be a any part of a legal argument about where any NFL stadium should be, right? Until at least one of our Mayors gets things right, this pattern will continue. Right?

(And check the video – if that’s what he’s like post-“rehab,” what was he like before?)

Anyway, how about Get Your Kicks in the 46, you know, instead? I’m sure our NikeTown would like that one. Or, rounding up, you could go with Shopping Heaven in the 47?

Oh, and the other thing is that telling people to only shop in the county where they reside, which is more or less what we’re doing here, is a baaaaaad idea for a tourist town like Frisco.

Oh, and another thing is, gee, is this kind of feel-good thing effective? No, but you’re trying to throw struggling boutiques a bone? OK. But with stuff like this?

“Suggested posts:

Having breakfast/lunch/dinner @__________, my favorite place to #shopdine49

I’m making a difference by shopping and dining in the 49 this holiday season #shopdine49

Let me tell you something here – if you can get a good night’s sleep ONLY in a McRoskey Mattress, you know, the way the McRoskey Mattress Company wants you to think, then there’s something wrong with you asides from your back or your neck or whathaveyou.

Let’s see how the readers of the Chronicle SFGate respond to the advertorial in the electronic pages of the SFGate. Here are the first two:

“FINALLY! A mattress with the 49 square feet of space I NEED, and at a $12,000 price tag I can AFFORD!”

“Almost 12 grand for a mattress… it should improve sleep, sex, and prolong my life by 10 years for that.”

Here’s how it will look in the corner of your live-work mansion:

Click to expand

And here’s the original release, below, if you want to compare.

McRoskey, if I put one of your 7×7 box springs on the sidewalks of San Francisco, it would sit there for weeks because nobody would realize it’s worth thousands of dollars.

(Oh, because it’s not worth thousands of dollars.)

McRoskey, if you took a 1×1 bite out of the upper left corner of this mattress combo, I’d give you points for style. But you didn’t do that.

McRoskey, nobody wants your $12,000 beds.

(And oh, Gentle Reader, if you want a good night’s sleep for two, why not get a queen mattress from the Costco? $475 delivered – it comes in a surprisingly small box, one that you yourself can move around. Let it air out for a couple of days after it expands, and you’re in business. This is the modern way of sleep during our Great Recesssion.)

“McRoskey Mattress Introduces The New 7’X7′ San Francisco King

McRoskey’s newest standard size is for people who really love to stretch out

According to McRoskey President Robin McRoskey Azevedo, the 7’X7′ San Francisco King was created to address these needs, providing more space and more comfort. “Because we’ve received ongoing requests for custom over-sized mattresses from customers – especially professional athletes — who want a bigger sleeping surface, we have introduced this new, larger standard size.” She adds, “Our new 7’X7′ San Francisco King is an ideal mattress for an open loft area, a spacious penthouse or a large master bedroom suite. And as a San Francisco-based manufacturer, we love the fact that the new size connects with San Francisco’s seven-by-seven square mile footprint.”

Like every McRoskey mattress set, the new San Francisco King is handcrafted to order at the McRoskey factory in San Francisco’s Central Waterfront neighborhood. The 7’X7′ San Francisco King comes complete with linens and mattress protector and is available in McRoskey’s byDesign and Classic comforts. Box spring heights can be customized.

This new San Francisco King set retails for $11,777 in the byDesign line. Retail pricing for the set in the Classic line is $7,777.

About McRoskey Mattress Company

Family owned and operated, the McRoskey Mattress Company has been handcrafting mattresses and box springs in San Francisco, California since 1899. McRoskey mattresses are available in standard and custom sizes. McRoskey has showrooms in San Francisco and Palo Alto. http://www.McRoskey.com or Facebook or Twitter: @McRoskey.