Yesterday, while watching the seemingly endless Oscars red carpet coverage, I found myself sympathizing with Dakota Johnson. I haven't even cracked a copy of 50 Shades of Grey—nor have I seen the blockbuster in theaters—but I know what it's like to have a mother who gets on my nerves. Luckily, for me, my mom and I do not share the same industry of choice. But, like Dakota, I am acutely aware of when my mom is patronizing me—even when she isn't.

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Over at The Cut, my former colleague Allison P. Davis nailed the headline for Dakota Johnson and Melanie Griffith's palpable tension: Has Anyone Ever Wanted to Kill Their Mom More Than Dakota Johnson? In the clip, which you can see here, Griffith, a veteran Oscar-nominated actress, tries not to outshine her up-and-coming, 25-year-old daughter. It's. Awkward.

But how, exactly, was this going to play out, I wonder? The interviewer, ABC's Lara Spencer, sets the young actress up for failure with her introduction: "Joining me now is MELANIE GRIFFITH," she starts, "and her little girl, Dakota Johnson." I mean, when you're someone who is used to trying to limbo out of your mom's outsize shadow, a comment like that is pretty much a battle cry.

I can't tell you how many times my mom has bungled my title at ELLE while simultaneously trying to brag about me, or how many times she has—with good intentions I'm certain—told me to be confident because I don't realize "how pretty I am." I am not writing this to hurt my mom's feelings or to gripe about the difficulty of having an accomplished parent but rather to shed light on the fact that there exists a natural element of competition among mothers and daughters. And that, sometimes, we regress in their presence.

A study by researcher Carol Ryff found that mothers who perceive their daughter's accomplishments as superior to their own report lower levels of well-being—yet, interestingly, this is not the case with father-son duos or mother-son duos. With 50 Shades of Grey dominating the box office, it's not hard to imagine that Griffith, even subconsciously, feels the sting of her daughter's success.

And while it's fun to pinpoint the precise moment where Johnson all but says, "But, maaaaaa-haaaaaaam," to me it seems like Ms. Spencer is more at fault, like it's just another moment in which a woman is setting up another woman for failure. Mostly I'm having a hard time imagining Ryan Seacrest starting an interview with Alexander and Stellan Skarsgård or Will and Jaden Smith with the words "little boy." Because, if he did, both parties would chafe—not just the "little" in the room.