Building our domestic church one day at a time

Thing You Should Know About Extroverts

I keep seeing the “Things you should know about introverts”, so I thought I would reply 🙂

1) We like being around people to get energy.
Extroverts are worn out and feel down and out when no one is around. We get energy and inspiration from other people. We LIKE to be around strangers. It’s awesome for us.

2) Crowd me in baby!
Large crowds of strangers are adventures waiting to happen. We love them. We love people. We get so invigorated by others. We like meeting new people and hearing new stories. It is the best thing in life to socialize.

3) Bring on the noise.
Silence makes us tired and worn out. We don’t talk because we want to fill space. We talk because we like connecting. We like hearing what you are thinking and responding to that. We like conversations about pretty much anything. Silence is not awkward, it is an opportunity for us to get to know you. Because (as pointed out in point one) we are inspired by you. We like hearing about you.

4) Just because we are extroverted doesn’t mean we are brave.
Some people think that just because I like being in a room that I love being the center of the action. This isn’t the case. Many extroverts are painfully shy. They want to meet you. They like being in a crowd. But they are too shy to actually do something. That is a awkward place to be. Wanting to know everyone, but too shy to talk to them. Opening up an extrovert is usually not too difficult, but we sometimes need you to make the first move.

5) It is not impossible for us to be quiet.
We aren’t obtuse. We know that there is a time and place for silence. We try to be sensitive to other people’s needs. But unlike an introvert, we need personal connections to recharge. So if an extrovert has been alone for a long time, it may be like opening one of those popping cans of snakes when they CAN talk. It gives us energy to connect to people. Being alone is exhausting for us.

6) We aren’t judging you.
I saw no purpose to change this one. We aren’t judging you. We get that you might not be the same as us, and we don’t expect you to be. But remember tip #3. We need you to talk to us so that we feel connections and energy.

7) Cancelling plans freaks us out.
Especially really planned out plans. Extroverts go all out. We like planning cakes and sandwiches for playdates. We invite 10 people to our party, but we secretly hope they all bring friends. Cancelling on us usually means we spent a day or more looking forward to connecting with you, and now we feel like you just don’t think we are important enough to make a priority. Then we sit sobbing over our customized martinis invented specifically for you on this night out alone. And see number 3 as to what that does….

8) Every thought may be verbalized by us.
Many extroverts think out loud. A lot. There are several trains of thoughts, and we want to share everything. It’s that reciprocal energy thing. We put it out there hoping for a response so that we can respond… and round and round it goes. We love to hear your opinions. We aren’t trying to be self-centered by sharing everything. We just like the energy created by lots of people and lots of thoughts. It’s kind of our thing.

9) We connect. Like all the time.
You know when you have had a really bad day and you just want to call up a friend and chat? Call us. We love it. We love to talk to you about it. Even better, we would love to meet with you and talk about it. And our other friends can come too. The more people that we can rally to cheer you up the better. In fact, our solution might be a huge rock concert to make you forget about it. We tend to get carried away that way.

10) We shut down the place.
We bring donuts and cookies for after the meeting. Often we are huggers. We like to talk about the meeting and then talk about everything with you. Since extroverts tend to be overscheduled, we want to talk to you and we might feel like this is our only chance. We don’t want to miss the opportunity to let you know that we love you. We want to hear about your kids, your spouse, your work. We sometimes get dirty looks from janitors who want to shut the building down. At which point we move the apres-meeting to a bar or coffee shop (wherever is more crowded).

11) We have strong opinions.
But don’t feel like we are imposing. We sometimes get so caught up in the energy of teams that we can seem over-bearing. We don’t mean to be. The louder we get, the more checked in we are. It means we are totally engaged. Please don’t feel like we are trying to impose on you. We don’t mean to. We just love being with you. And him. And her. And them over there. So much.