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The Gloves are, Umm, Sort of Off?

The Gloves are, Umm, Sort of Off?

By:The Dude on the Right
So as I’m updating some stories over on the"Mostly Entertainment" site
while I’m waiting to see who is getting booted from "American Idol," I’ve got
the Democratic debate between "Crazy Eyes" Clinton and "Don’t Call Me Osama"
Obama on, and as far as I can tell it’s still the same old crap: A question is
given, the candidate responds and then somehow shifts their answer to because I
will help "Bring back the troops," "Save the economy," or "Fix health care," no
matter what the question was. Just once I would like some fire and brimstone,
and one of them, or at least in this case Barack, to just slam back "Who taught
you how to down a shot.", or Hillary to blast "Nice bowling form."

At this
phase I almost just really want "down and dirty." John McCain is just kind
of floating around, like "La, la, la, you know what, if I am President I’m going
to get rid of the gas tax! Won’t that be swell!" Why, because right
now he has no competition, he doesn’t know who he is running against, and he
just needs to try to stay in the news. Hillarity and Barackability keep
going back and forth, subtlety trying to say "I’m better than they are, nyah,
nyah, nyah!", but deep in their heart don’t you really want to know what they
really might want to say, something like:

"You’re Pastor is an idiot."
"Oh yea, let me go and videotape your Pastor for a bunch of sermons."
"Well, your wife is finally happy to be an American."
"Yea, well your hubby got his pickle whistled right under your nose."
"Fine, I hate ‘Crown Royal.’ That’s why I didn’t down it."
"Me neither, you know why? It’s from Canada!"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Look, let’s just go to the corner bar and get a shot. You in?"
"You got it buddy. What do you suggest?"
"The old Number 7, a shot of Jack Daniels."
"Ummmmmm, Jack Daniels."
"You do know why the bottle is square?"
"No, why?"
"So that when you get pulled over by the cops it doesn’t roll out from under
your car seat."
"Wow, that’s cool. How did you learn that?"
"In colle.. I mean, on the internet. Yea, on the internet. Man
they’ve got a lot of good information there. So truthful."
"Look, I’m sorry about that ‘elitist’ remark."
"Yea, I’m just sorry I wasn’t a better bowler."
Both together: "Over the lips and through the gums, look out America here we
come!"

Look, that is a joke, but everyone, in a Presidential race, especially
as I have been paying somewhat attention to these races over the years, just
tries to tell us what they think we want to hear. For a change I really
wish someone would quit with the posturing and just be a real person. The
sad thing is that person has no chance to win.

And if Hillary plugs her
website once more during this debate, I’m going to puke.