Baby girls hands and feet

Little Bruiser is growing!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Damn you, Google!

I don't know what to think...

Here's the picture. My test results today (third hCG test) threw me a little bit - the hCG was 287, so while it has risen, it has not risen as much as it should have. As a rough guide, in early pregnancy hCG level should double every 48-72 hours. And after a quick calculation, I found out that my level doubled in approximately 92 hours. So while that doesn't seem disastrous, it also doesn't seem so crash hot, particularly as the level almost quadrupled between the first and second test.

So then I go and google all the possible scenarios like the complete idiot I am. As a result, I am now left worrying about ectopic pregnancy and/or impeding miscarriage... Same time last week, following a different Google search prompted by the exact opposite scenario, i.e. hCG levels rising too fast, I was wondering about the probability of twin pregnancy after embryo splitting and the infinitely more disturbing option of molar pregnancy.

This leads me to two conclusions. First, this pregnancy is so emotionally draining! It barely even started and I'm so stressed out about it... With my two, I was nowhere near as worried about things working out. In fact, my first, Ben, was an accident and I actually spent the first hour after testing positive slightly horrified (but I got over that rather quickly :). Sophie was planned and I got pregnant the first month. In both cases, I was perfectly oblivious to the complexities of hCG and progesterone level changes, and the worst case scenario considered was... well, nothing, really! But this is different. This is not my child. This is someone else's baby, and I have been entrusted with the responsibility of temporary care of its wellbeing. It is a very important little human being, too. It has been prayed for, and, even at this very early stage of its existence, the road to get this far has been long and hard.

As for my second conclusion - damn you, Google, for being so disgustingly efficient! Damn you, pregnancy fora where all questions can be very satisfactorily answered in three different, and often opposing, ways! And damn you, Veronika, for not being happy just to ride it out and bide your time until the next test, instead wasting your time on pointless speculation!

Anyway. I should really stop wasting time now. I should probably go and have some chocolate, actually... Hmmm, sounds like the best idea I've had all day!

About Me

My name is Veronika. I am a wife of one, a mother of two. I am also a gestational surrogate. The arrangement is altruistic, which means that I don't get paid for carrying the bub. Some people say that I am giving an amazing gift, others that I am crazy :) Neither opinion, in my view, is right - I am merely doing my bit for the greater good. This doesn't make me an angel, and it doesn't make me a basket case either. It is just something that I can do.