One Year Ago Part 2

03Oct

Tomorrow is the narc’s birthday. The Big 6-0. I wrote last year how he feels about birthdays and what his gift to me was. We had just returned from yet another of his Boating Trips and I was furious over what happened on the drive home. He had upped his criticism of me to a degree that I’m sure was noticed by outsiders because I was starting to speak my mind, disregarding his poor, injured ego. The day before his b-day he was lamenting how his “decent into poverty” was all my fault.

On his Big Day I did not acknowledge his birthday. I got him no gift, did not wish him happy day or in any way let him know that I knew the date. He went to his boat and got drunk with friends and then drove home. My stomach was already in knots with worry about how he was going to punish me for “forgetting” his day, so I wasn’t fast enough to call the police to have him arrested for drunk driving. I still regret that…

It was the first time I voiced the thought that I should move out and quit holding him back so he could sell his house and go live his dream on his boat. It was the first time I told him that I thought he liked the idea of me, but not the actual person that I am and that he never had really liked me. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time.

At that point I had no clear idea of how I was going to get away from him, but I knew it was going to have to happen soon or I would snap. I had received word that I would soon have access to a retirement account that I had all but forgotten and visions of freedom were dancing in my head.

Fast forward to this year and my biggest “problem” is how to keep my water hose from freezing up – foam insulation, heat tape or a combination of the two? Fill the fresh water tank and use the inside pump for shower/toilet/sink, unhook the hose until more water is needed and avoid the problem altogether?

I started to make a list of what I would like to give him on his Big Day this year, but have deleted it because it makes me sound just a little bit crazy to be wishing so many horrible skin ailments on one person 🙂

Let me just say that my life has improved 1000% since I left the narc. I thought I was having a run of bad luck in the last years with him, but it turns out that he was my bad luck charm and leaving him was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself!

14 responses to “One Year Ago Part 2”

And won’t it be nice a few years down the line when this day will pass and then a week or two later you’ll realize you actually had forgotten it. And then a few more years down the line and you won’t even give it that much thought.
Hooray for getting out!