Sunday, April 29, 2007

Interview: Smurfette

PV: I've got to tell you, I'm a huge fan.

S: Stop smurfing at me like that, you leering perv. As if I'd ever smurf a human.

PV: Looking at you like what?

S: You're un-smurfing me with your eyes.

PV: No I'm not. I'm a married man. I don't think impure thoughts about any women, let alone a Smurf. Even if she is the lone female smurf. So hot, so lonely, just waiting for prince charming to whisk her away from a life of cruel exploitation amid an all-male society. So luscious and tempting, but no. I must resist the urge to declare my lifelong lust for the petite blue sex object of my dreams.

S: Did you realize you smurfed that out loud?

P: Was I? Damn. OK, I'll admit it. There was a time in my life when all I could think about was making sweet, sensuous love to you. But that was long ago, 1985. I was 7. You were my one true love in between Ms. Pac Man and Punky Brewster. But no more. I moved on.

S: Good to hear. You'd be smurfed how many fellas your age are still smurfed on me.