After enduring sloppy punctuation on the street sign outside his home for more than a year, Stefan Gatward could stand it no longer.
The 62-year-old former soldier _____(1)_____ to launch a one-man crusade against 'dumbed down' Britain, and _____(2)_____ up a paintbrush to insert a missing apostrophe.
This _____(3)_____ the incorrect St Johns Close into the correct St John's Close.
But he was immediately _____(4)_____ of being a vandal by one neighbour, and his amendments have been _____(5)_____ off by others who apparently prefer the wrong version.
The 62-year-old's defense of the apostrophe comes after Birmingham council announced it would scrap the punctuation from council signs for the sake of 'simplicity'.
Mr Gatward _____(6)_____ into his flat in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, 14 months ago.
He said today: 'As we are off St John's Road and opposite St John's Church, both with the apostrophe, St John's Close should have one too.'
But when Mr Gatward decided to correct the crime against the language by painting in the missing punctuation mark, he was jeered by a neighbour.
'He _____(7)_____ me I was wrong. He _____(8)_____ me a vandal and a graffiti artist,' Mr Gatward said.
'He tried to tell me that the Post Office would not deliver to the street if you put in an apostrophe.'
Mr Gatward, who _____(9)_____ for four years in the Gordon Highlanders in the 1960s, is not just a campaigner for the apostrophe.
He will not join the 'five items or less' queue at the supermarket, in protest that the sign should read 'five items or fewer'.
He also gets annoyed when people-neglect the 'Royal' in 'Royal Tunbridge Wells', and was vexed when he _____(10)_____ a major chain store advertising sales with signs saying 'until stocks last' rather than 'while stocks last'.
'I fought for the preservation of our heritage and our language but some people seem happy to let that go. I'm not,' he said.