About “​everything i wanted”

“everything i wanted” sees Billie recalling a nightmare she experienced where she committed suicide and saw all her friends and fans turn their backs on her. The lyrics showcase Billie’s strong relationship with her brother FINNEAS, as he’s the one she goes to for support when dealing with these types of problems.

What have the artists said about the song?

Pretty much that whole song is about me and Finneas' relationship as siblings. We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, “Oh, we never liked her.” In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up.

I mean, the message behind the song is like […] my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he’s gonna always be there for me, and it’s the same the other way around.

What have the artists said about the writing process?

We wrote the first verse of that song [“everything i wanted”] a year ago. I think it was either August or September of 2018….Two weeks ago, I wanna say, we had one day and it had to be done. Finneas was like, “We have to be done by tomorrow” and I was like, “There is absolutely no way that that’s gonna happen.” He was like, “We’re almost done” and I was like, “Shut up” ‘cause I thought we weren’t but then we were and it was done.

How was this song first teased?

Billie first revealed a snippet of an instrumental portion of the song in a September 2018 Instagram story:

What is the story behind the song's artwork?

English artist Jason Anderson was approached by Eilish to paint the track’s cover artwork. More information about the artwork and images such as a rough draft of the piece can be viewed in the artwork annotation.

Did Billie use any special effects when recording this song?

I mean, we couldn’t not do that. Are you kidding? With that fucking line, it was like, you can’t not. We were sitting there like, “My head was underwater,” and we were like, “Wait, wait. This is our chance.