Ejaculation problems

If you have a persistent problem with ejaculation, visit your GP, who will discuss the problem with you and may examine you or refer you to a specialist.

Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is the most common ejaculation problem. It's where the male ejaculates too quickly during sexual intercourse.

A study looking at 500 couples from 5 different countries found the average time taken to ejaculate during intercourse was around 5-and-a-half minutes. However, it's up to each couple to decide if they’re happy with the time taken – there's no definition of how long sex should last.

Occasional episodes of premature ejaculation are common and are not a cause for concern. However, if you're finding that around half of your attempts at sex result in premature ejaculation, it might help to get treatment.

Causes of premature ejaculation

Various psychological and physical factors can cause a man to suddenly experience premature ejaculation.

anxiety about sexual performance (particularly at the start of a new relationship, or when a man has had previous problems with sexual performance)

It's possible, but less common, for a man to have always experienced premature ejaculation since becoming sexually active. A number of possible causes for this are:

conditioning – it's possible that early sexual experiences can influence future sexual behaviour. For example, if a teenager conditions himself to ejaculate quickly to avoid being caught masturbating, it may later be difficult to break the habit

a traumatic sexual experiencefrom childhood – this can range from being caught masturbating to sexual abuse

a strict upbringing and beliefs about sex

biological reasons – some men may find their penis is extra sensitive

Treating premature ejaculation

There are a number of things you can try yourself before seeking medical help.

Measures you can try yourself

It can sometimes help to:

masturbate an hour or 2 before having sex

use a thick condom to help decrease sensation

take a deep breath to briefly shut down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs)

have sex with your partner on top (to allow them to pull away when you are close to ejaculating)

take breaks during sex and think about something boring

Couples therapy

If you're in a long-term relationship, you may benefit from having couples therapy. During these sessions, the therapist will:

encourage couples to explore any relationship issues they have, and give them advice about resolving them

show the couple techniques that can help you "unlearn" the habit of premature ejaculation (the 2 most popular techniques are the "squeeze" and "stop-go" techniques)

In the squeeze technique, your partner masturbates you, but stops before the point of ejaculation and squeezes the head of your penis for between 10 to 20 seconds. They then let go and wait for another 30 seconds before resuming masturbation. This process is carried out several times before ejaculation is allowed to occur.

The stop-go technique is similar, but your partner does not squeeze your penis. Once you feel more confident about delaying ejaculation, you and your partner can begin to have sex, stopping and starting as required.

Dapoxetine

An SSRI specifically designed to treat premature ejaculation, known as dapoxetine (Priligy), has now been licensed in the UK. Local NHS authorities can choose to prescribe it on the NHS.

It acts much faster than the SSRIs mentioned above and can be used "on demand". You’ll usually be advised to take it between 1 and 3 hours before sex, but not more than once a day.

Your response to the treatment will then be reviewed after 4 weeks (or after 6), and again every 6 months.

Dapoxetine is not suitable for all men diagnosed with premature ejaculation. For example, it is not recommended for some men with heart, kidney and liver problems. It can also interact with other medicines, such as other antidepressants.

Common side effects include:

headaches

dizziness

feeling sick

Phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors

Phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors, such as sildenafil (sold as Viagra), are a class of medicine used to treat erectile dysfunction. Research has found that they may also help with premature ejaculation.

Because of changes in regulations, you no longer need a prescription to get sildenafil. But you will have to have a consultation with the pharmacist to make sure it's safe for you to take it.

Topical anaesthetics and condoms

The use of topical anaesthetics such as lidocaine or prilocaine can help but may be transferred and absorbed to the vagina, causing decreased sensation. Condoms can also be used and are effective, particularly when combined with local anaesthesia.

Delayed ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation (male orgasmic disorder) is classed as either:

experiencing a significant delay before ejaculation

being unable to ejaculate at all, even though the man wants to and his erection is normal

You may have delayed ejaculation if:

you experience a repeated and unwanted delay before ejaculation lasting for 30 to 60 minutes

you're unable to ejaculate at least half the times you have sex

Causes of delayed ejaculation

Like premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation can be caused by psychological and physical factors.

Possible psychological causes of delayed ejaculation are similar to those of premature ejaculation – for example, early sexual trauma, strict upbringing, relationship problems, stress or depression.

muscle relaxants such as balcofen, which is widely used to treat motor neurone disease and multiple sclerosis

powerful painkillers, such as methadone (which is also widely used to treat people addicted to heroin)

Delayed ejaculation can suddenly start to happen after previously having no problems, or (less commonly) the man may have always experienced it.

It can occur in all sexual situations, or only in certain situations. For example, you may be able to ejaculate normally when masturbating, but not during sex. When ejaculation only occurs in certain situations, there's usually a psychological cause.

Treating delayed ejaculation

Sex therapy

Sex therapy is a form of counselling that uses a combination of psychotherapy and structured changes in your sex life. This can help to increase your feeling of enjoyment during sex, and help make ejaculation easier.

Some clinical commissioning groups (CCGs) provide a sex therapy service on the NHS. Availability can vary widely depending on where you live.

You can also pay privately. Prices per session are around £50 to £80. The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists website provides information about private sex therapists and how to find a therapist in your local area.

The relationship counselling service Relate also offers sex therapy at a number of its centres. You'll need to pay for each session.

During sex therapy, you'll have the opportunity to discuss any emotional or psychological issues related to your sexuality and relationship, in a non-judgemental way.

Activities may also be recommended for you to try at home while you're having sex with your partner (you should never be asked to take part in any sexual activities during a session with the therapist).

These may include:

viewing erotic videos and magazines before having sex to increase the feeling of stimulation

erotic fantasies and "sex games" to make your lovemaking more exciting

using lubricating creams, or jellies, to make the physical act of sex more comfortable and relaxing

Alcohol and drugs

Pseudoephedrine

Pseudoephedrine tablets may be tried, but these will need to be prescribed "off-label". This means the medicine shows promise in treating delayed ejaculation but it has not been licensed for this particular use (pseudoephedrine is normally used as a decongestant).

Retrograde ejaculation

Retrograde ejaculation is a rarer type of ejaculation problem. It happens when semen travels backwards into the bladder instead of through the urethra (the tube that urine passes through).

The main symptoms of retrograde ejaculation include:

producing no semen, or only a small amount, during ejaculation

producing cloudy urine (because of the semen in it) when you first go to the toilet after having sex

Men with retrograde ejaculation still experience the feeling of an orgasm and the condition does not pose a danger to health. However, it can affect the ability to father a child.

Causes of retrograde ejaculation

Retrograde ejaculation is caused by damage to the nerves or muscles that surround the neck of the bladder (the point where the urethra connects to the bladder).

Usually when you ejaculate, semen is pushed out of your urethra. It is prevented from entering your bladder by the muscles around the neck of the bladder, which close tightly at the moment of orgasm.

However, damage to the surrounding muscles or nerves can stop the bladder neck closing, causing the semen to move into the bladder rather than up through the urethra.

Prostate gland surgery or bladder surgery is the most common cause of retrograde ejaculation. Other causes are diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and a class of medicines known as alpha blockers, which are often used to treat high blood pressure (hypertension).

Treating retrograde ejaculation

Most men do not need treatment for retrograde ejaculation because they are still able to enjoy a healthy sex life and the condition does not have adverse effects on their health.

But if treatment is required (usually because of wanting to father a child), there are options to try.

For example, pseudoephedrine (commonly used as a decongestant) has proved effective in treating retrograde ejaculation caused by diabetes or surgery.

If retrograde ejaculation is caused by using a certain medicine, then normal ejaculation will usually return once medicine is stopped. Speak to your GP before stopping any prescribed medicine.

However, if the retrograde ejaculation has been caused by significant muscle or nerve damage, treatment may not be possible.

Involve your partner

If you're having problems with your sex life and are seeking treatment, it is usually recommended you involve your partner as much as possible.

Communicating your concerns can often go a long way to helping to resolve them. And, in some cases, your partner may also have their own problems that are contributing towards problems with your sex life.

For example, some women are unable to reach climax during "normal" intercourse and require manual or oral stimulation.