I am America's Senior Comedian (R).

Feed Me!

These photos are of His Benevolence, Christopher King, Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. They are suitable for framing and display in public buildings, over your desk, on coins, etc.

The stage photos, the rubble series, the beer series, and the holding-eyeglasses series are courtesy of Gregg Matthews, Orlando. All others by Chris King.

Clicking the thumbnail will show a 300dpi version.

Generally, the staged photos were taken in the olden days, around 2004. I have not aged at all, so you may regard these to be an accurate representation of what my big fat pot belly does not look like.

When the Government Man decides to stab his fat, dirty fingers at things and initiate non-linearity, you may use these in your newspaper or on your TV show if you like.

10/03/2010

GI’s Brains Fried by Military Dispensed Nose Candy : Veterans Today

(San Francisco) – Now it is official. Researchers have shown that uranium oxide, or DU, “travels the nerves from the nose to the brain,” in the words of a University of Chicago doc and researcher.

James Blake Miller Los Angeles Times photo by Luis Sinco

A tiny amount (a milligram) of this radioactive poison quick marches up your smelling nerves right into your brain and keeps firing 1.2 Million bullets a day – forever. That’s a bunch.

850 Rounds a Minute

The radioactive 850 rounds a minute automatic weapon is about as big as the period at the end of this sentence, never needs reloading and never jams. It’s a perfect killing machine for brain cells and other cells. The range is about 20 cells, after that there is what the famous British physicist Dr. Chris Busby calls the “bystander effect.” He discovered it, he gets to name it.

These geniuses at the gas station stand there every morning and propound upon events of the day and have them solved by nine. They've decided that war is good and that we have to go get the terriss before they come for us. (Never mind that the nation doesn't have two nickels to rub together and that their sons are now hobbling around on fake legs and can't hold down a job.)

What they don't know is that clouds of depleted uranium have circled the globe and deposited radioactive particles right into their coffee cups and into their DNA.

Me want war.

Humans are apes with cell phones and bioweapons. Don't pat yourselves on the back for your successes.

If you are reading this, you are morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket to my show, which is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian. Tickets are $100 per person, per year. Click to buy your ticket. If you truly don't have the money, you get in for free; otherwise no exceptions to this rule. Thanks, Chris.