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Rosie's No Nonsense Advice Thread.

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Okay This is a general question, search for advice. How long does it normalyl take someone to think they love someone? Not saying I love someone right now but a friend was asking about my past loves and how long it took?

Oh NO I admit I fall in love like I fall down stairs. Fast, hard, and painfully.
I cant say I am in love with Cassie, but I do like her, a lot. And she likes me a lot. But you know when a relationship ends like Xia and Mine did its not a good idea to even like someone. I'm babbling right?
Well so I like her. But she knows my head and me heart are a mess. I dont know what is is maybe iots because I have codependent issues but still want to be single and play the game

shit okay.
All I want to know regardless of where I am is. Whats a general timeframe. Months, years. Never.

Fuck...I am not sure what I feel for this girl. Part of me things, Holy shit, she is amazing. Another part of me is like, "No man you are just thinking that because your heads a fucking mess. Then there is another guy who is like, "Noah chill out, things are going to be fine, have your fun, flirt with other girls and dont worry about it. OH and there is also. "Fuck everyone, wheres my cat.

Fuck...I am not sure what I feel for this girl. Part of me things, Holy shit, she is amazing. Another part of me is like, "No man you are just thinking that because your heads a fucking mess. Then there is another guy who is like, "Noah chill out, things are going to be fine, have your fun, flirt with other girls and dont worry about it. OH and there is also. "Fuck everyone, wheres my cat.

I like 3rd Noah (chill out) best. Stick with him, he knows how things work.

Okay This is a general question, search for advice. How long does it normalyl take someone to think they love someone? Not saying I love someone right now but a friend was asking about my past loves and how long it took?

Okay This is a general question, search for advice. How long does it normalyl take someone to think they love someone? Not saying I love someone right now but a friend was asking about my past loves and how long it took?

Noah, you never know. I was in the worst possible... situation... that started out as a romance. We "broke up" but were still very financially and emotionally tangled over a year later. When I finally was able to pry open his death grip on my life/ bank account/ social life, I knew I was way too fucked up to get into another relationship anytime soon. But I had... needs.

I knew a guy that could fulfill those needs. I told him very frankly that I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship. He was okay with that. We started seeing each other more and more over the course of the next few months. Eventually we moved in together.

It is by far the most successful relationship I have ever had. So you never know.

Okay This is a general question, search for advice. How long does it normalyl take someone to think they love someone? Not saying I love someone right now but a friend was asking about my past loves and how long it took?

Sorry, I've been away.

There is no general timeframe. Some people can think they love someone from the moment they meet them.

There is a difference between falling in love and actually loving someone. Falling in love can happen very fast. But then some people can be friends with someone for years and then suddenly find that they've fallen in love with them.

I hate this saying, but it's like asking "how long is a piece of string?"

Yeah, I don't think Love has an ON and OFF swithch, which would make it easier. The night my husband picked me up from my relapse, we sat in the car, in the driveway and talked and cried for about an hour. The two days I was gone, Bob was threatening that he would be leaving me and divorcing me. While in the driveway, he said he had seen Dustin Hoffman on television that morning talking about love and divorce. He said the love you have for your spouse is not like a branch on a bush, that you just cut off and that's what makes it so hard. You can't just stop loving that person. Bob told me, "I haven't fallen out of love with you, but I really don't like you right now."
We are not getting a divorce, but I do know this in my heart. No matter what happens with me, Bob and our future, I will always love him. He is the father of my children and we have grown up together in the 28 years we've been together.
And I can say that at one time in our marriage, I think we possibly fell out of love with each other. The romantic love part of our love. It was 9 years ago, whenever I went to rehab for drinking. (wow, rehab and relapse are a part of my vocabulary and I hate that. Oh well, it's me.)
When I came home, after 21 days in there, we were living like roommates. I truly thought we were getting a divorce. We both had seen lawyers. But, I came in one day and asked him,"Are we gonna give this one last try, or are we done?" (at this point, I couldn't see myself staying and falling back in love with him. I couldn't stand him. We both lived what we wanted from each other that we thought would make our marriage work. While we talked, I couldn't help but to think, there is no way this will work. But I told myself, you need to do all you can on your end to hold this relationship and family together, that way when it doesn't work, you know in your heart that you tried your best.
I did fall back in love and it's been nine years since that conversation and since I drank.
I think if our marriage did fall apart, it would take a while to fall out of the romantic love with him, but I will love Bob as a person and father for the rest of my life.
I guess after ALL that, I'm just trying to say Love has no ON and OFF switch. That took a rather long post to get that out huh? (just my 2 cents.)

Okay Sarah, this is a long one and if you don't feel like dealing with it I understand. And if any of you want to jump in on this, I seriously appreciate it. I really need some real life advice on a real life issue.
Sorry I'm coming back with issues, but it's what's going on. It's more drama than I care for, but I definitely need the help.
Soooooo, 3 years ago, I started hanging out with my brother I laws new wife. I knew her from highschool, but she was rough then and still is rough. Anyways no one in the family liked her and I felt bad for her, so I befriended her. Before long, like a couple of days, we made a drug connection. She goes to pain management and gets a shit ton of pain pills and Xanax from her regular doctor. Well she started out giving me these pills. I think cause we were hanging out a lot and she didn't want to be high alone. I got a script for Xanax and when I would eat them to fast, she would offer me hers. First I just had to give back what I borrowed, but then no more of that, I had to pay for them. And also at this time she would throw in a pain pill everyone in a whole. And yes once I liked those, she started charging for those too. I only did a few of those a month, since they were $15 a piece, but the Xanax were a lot. Anyhow, I ended up in rhab with a serious Xanax problem.
So, on the way to rehab I told her we couldn't be friends anymore and my husband and children couldn't stand her. Also, the whole Inlaw family really didn't like her and especially not after this. I mean, she wasn't feeding me the pills, but I guess they wanted to blame someone for my issue and like I said she was rough. She is also very aggressive. Like if she calls you several times and you don't answer, she will then be at your front door. You have to be very blunt with her, and she is a terrible liar and likes to do it a lot. She lies one right after the other and denies, denies, denies!! No matter what. So, I have talked to her at Holidays in the past year and she started texting me a few months back. I would answer and we were kind of friends again, but I told her it wasn't really a good idea cause my family would be upset. And OfCourse she gave me some pills and I took them, especially with this relapse. Things got real bad the last month or so and I'm done with the pills. I'm in the process of weaning off of them and getting into a suboxone doctors also. I made the mistake of trying to help her out last week with synching her iPad and iPod and iPhone. She came to my house for about an hour. I'm a total fucking idiot!!! She ended up getting my card # for iTunes and charged $85 dollars on my iTunes that came out of my checking. I just wanted it all to go away. I tried to let her be honest and told her about my call to iTunes and that it was her account that was connected to my card. And they did give me part of her email, so it was her for sure. She denied and also said her phone got hacked also and she just didn't have any idea how this happened, but she didn't do it.
So, today I told her that this texting and friend thing was wrong and I'm straightening my life out, because I've really messed up and I was going against my family by doing that and it had to stop. Sorry, but we just can't talk or be friends anymore. I'm not going to loose my family over that.
Well she starts threatening me that she's going to start forwarding all of my text to her to everyone in the Inlaw family and she wouldn't be getting blamed for anything. She use to be a bike chick and said she still talks to her friends and those are friends nobody wants to meet. Like she is threatening to have my ass kicked over this. I also think she stole my black pearl earrings my husband got me in Hawaii the other day. They are missing and she used the restroom, where my jewelry box is.
After a few of her smart ass text I just kept saying DO NOT TEXT AND HARRASS ME. She kept on and still is right now at 12:30 am. She's been doing it for 4 hours. I told her after the last time of the do not text and her texting back that I would be getting a restraining order against her and filing harassment charges in the morning. Now she is texting me that she will meet me there. She's a psychopath and has a record. She just got off probation, so I know I can get her in trouble.
Anyhow, I feel like a dumbass for trusting her, and now she's stole from me and going to act like a crazy person cause I don't want to be friends. Last time I told her this, she somewhat freaked out, but not with all the threats. My husband just left town, and the Inlaw family really don't like her. And love me and have always been behind me with everything. I've been in the family for 24 years and she's been in it for 6 and her 2nd year the swat team was there because they let her son stay with them and he decided to pull up in the driveway with a mobile meth lab.
So, should I seriously go get the restraining order? Should I go to the bank and press charges for the charges she did? I mean what do I do?

Tell you husband exactly how you feel about it all and that you are cutting her out completely.

I on't know what else beyond that. as far as restraining orders go, that could cause even more drama, but do what you have to, at least look into it. Unfortunately I think you must be blood related or romantically/sexually involved with a person to get a restraining order. At least in my state.

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