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Saturday, March 15, 2008

Living single and loving it.

This article came out about a month ago, but it's a great article about being single. I think the difference between being single and happy and being single and miserable is all about choice. If you choose to be single, then it's one thing, but if you don't then it can be a living misery. Also if you choose not to be single for the wrong reasons it can also be a huge misery. I think in this as with anything you have to find out what works for you. Also remember that at different stages in your life, what worked yesterday, might not work tomorrow.

[quote]I'm fifty-four years old and I have always been single. I love my single life. But for a long time I rarely said that out loud. I thought I was the only happy single person.[/quote]

NO there seem to be a lot more happily single people in the world. I think it's only the perception that has thrown others off. Being single can be a good thing if that is where you are at.

[quote]Years later after I had read hundreds of scientific studies about marital status, happiness, and discrimination, and after I conducted my own program of research, I realized that much of the conventional wisdom about people who are single was either grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. The place of singles in society and the significance of getting married have changed dramatically over the past decades. But our views of single and married people have not yet caught up.[/quote]

The perception is if you are single, male or female that you can't be perfectly happy, and the reality is, with modern day society you can be. More so infact than some of your married counter parts. Now I am not knocking marriage or being not single, but I am just pointing out that there are an increasing amount of happy single people out there.

[quote] In one set of studies, for instance, we created profiles of married and single people that were exactly the same (in terms of the person's age, hometown, interests, employment, and so forth) except for their marital status. In one experiment after another, we found that the single people were viewed more negatively than the married people. For example, they were seen as unhappy, lonely, and self-centered compared to their married counterparts. (The one exception is that single people were consistently viewed as more independent than married people.)[/quote]

Again a lot of this goes back to perception and what has always been in the past conventional wisdom, or rather what seemed to be conventional wisdom. In the past for many reasons you needed to be married to keep the household running, to have children, and ofcourse to be seen as anyone in the community.

[quote]We looked up federal statutes and found more than a thousand instances in which official marriage was linked to federal protections and benefits. We found discrimination against singles in the workplace and the marketplace. We then did research of our own on discrimination and found that realtors (and other people we asked) would prefer to rent to married couples than to single women, single men, unmarried couples, or a pair of friends -- even when they all had equally positive references and ability to pay.[/quote]

Again the biggest obstacles that single individual seem to have is society itself and their negative mindset. Once they get past this, many single people do lead very happy and fulfilling lives.

[quote]The story that was taking shape in my mind was becoming clear. Single people are not as happy as married people in part because they are targets of stereotyping and discrimination.[/quote]

This is so true. The article goes on from there and I recommend reading it if you are choosing to be single and loving it. I think in modern day society people have more choices than they did in the past. I think if living single is your choice, then don't let anyone make you think that you would be happy or better off not living single. You can live single and be happy, if it's a choice.

[quote]Increasingly, people who are single are living their lives fully. Those who have the resources to do so are buying homes, traveling the world, and pursuing their passions. Their lives are meaningful -- and yes, they are happy.[/quote]

Again it all comes down to what works best for you. An interesting article I thought I would share.