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Archive for May, 2009

SILVER BULLET GUN OIL, is a HIGHLY EFFECTIVE Counter-Islamic terrorist force multiplier. SILVER BULLET GUN OIL was designed specifically to put Demoralizing FEAR and TERROR into SUPPOSEDLY Fearless” Islamo-Fascist terrorists. It was created with the “TRUE BELIEVER” in mind. According to the Koran, Allah states, “Any of my followers contaminated by swine at the time of his death will be denied entry to my paradise forever, I HATE THE STENCH OF SWINE.”

The PIG FAT is mixed with our blended, hi-grade WEAPONS OIL designed for use in ALL FIREARMS. The oil is applied to the inside of the barrel of any firearm or weapons system. When fired, BULLETS are coated with SILVER BULLET GUN OIL containing the PIG FAT. The PIG FAT is transferred to anything the BULLETS STRIKE.

Bwuhahahahahahahaha!!!! Take that you goat fellating murdering pieces of camel shit!

Of course I had to order some, one bottle for Crumb Crunchie, and one for me. Now the one for Crumb may actually be put to it’s intended use. Mine, just for shits and giggles.

Now here’s where it gets even better. Shortly after placing the order for Crumb’s bottle, I received an e-mail confirmation from the company. Nothing unusual, except that it was a little unique in that it was a simple one line response addressed to Mr. Crunchie (insert my real last name here) and said the order would ship to Camp Pendleton. Signed off “Semper Fi”. It seemed almost as if an actual human had written it. A second e-mail followed shortly afterwards, and this one was definitely written by a human. It was the owner of the company saying that he was throwing in a second bottle at no charge to my sons order, as well as some magazine stickers to let the hirabi know what was coming there way. Seems he was a jarhead too, and he wants some payback sent downrange. The principle behind this type of propaganda is pure PsyOps raised to an art form.

I’ve never endorsed a product before, and I’m not starting now since I have yet to try the stuff, but if the novelty of the product concept and the level of customer service is any indication, I’m sure that this is some good shit.

DALLAS – Frank Larison is a disabled veteran with more than 14 years of service, including more than a year of combat duty in Vietnam.

Sounds like the type of person who should feel right at home in the Republic of Texas, right? Well, maybe not so much.

The 58-year-old former Marine now finds himself under attack by his Dallas homeowners association for displaying seven decals on his vehicle supporting the Marine Corps.

Condo commandos on the rampage yet again. Seems some over compensating asshat with way too much time on their hands has determined that the Eagle Globe and Anchor constitutes “commercial signage” and therefore is in violation of the Supreme Law of the Land, the HOA by-laws (insert trumpet flourishes and fanfares here)

The board says the decals are advertisements that violate HOA rules, and must be covered or removed.

Good luck wit that. I’ll even give you the razor blade to do it, just so long as you promise me front row, plenty of popcorn, and exclusive marketing rights to the ass kicking of Biblical proportion sure to follow immediately after you lay your grubby, maggot infested, civilian hands on my emblem. Better yet, I’ll give you the razor blade, you use it to slit your limp lil’ wrist. Just remember, cut ACROSS the grain, not with.

Otherwise, the homeowners association for The Woodlands II on The Creek — where Larimore has lived for eight years — says in a letter it will tow the car at Larimore’s expense. The board also threatens to fine him $50 for any future incident.

Go ahead, I’m sure that their won’t be any problem covering those fines. After the lawyers fees incurred in suing your happy asses straight to bankruptcy, their will still be enough left over from the settlement to cover your funeral expenses too. If we were in a gracious enough mood not to just chunk your fetid ass to the pigs. Have to say though, condo commando’s ain’t what they used to be. It took 8 friggin’ years for them to notice the EG&A decals and become incensed? They need to take some lessons from Floriduhs geriatric gendarme wannabees. They’re over snooping up yer ass before the moving truck has even dropped it’s ramp. Ya need to bring yer A game here Texian’s.

Some neighbors are outraged.

“That is his identity,” said neighbor Mary Castagna. “He goes to a lot of the veteran meetings, and it means a lot to him. Everyone else agrees with it; it doesn’t bother anybody.”

It apparently bothers somebody Mary. Wonder who that person voted for in the last election? Just speculation mind you, but statist tyrants don’t fall far from the big ol’ tree with a D behind it’s name.

The letter from the board states you can’t have any form of advertisement anywhere on your car on your property. FOX 4 cameras spotted bumper stickers for political parties, health causes, and other non-commercial interests on the property as well.

Lets interpret what the letter writer actually meant shall we? You can’t have any bumper stickers that make us feel like the inadequate pieces of human detritus that we are.

One board member said he was unaware the HOA presidents sent the letter and did not know of any issue with Larimore’s vehicle.

“I will be looking into it,” said board member Art Bradford. “I didn’t know anything about this. I haven’t seen this.”

I can actually believe this guy, and I have a feeling that the next board meeting will be, shall we say “interesting”.

The board president was out of town and unavailable.

Probably attending a kumbaya circle jerk in a Berkley bath house.

The condo management company did not want to comment.

I’m sure they didn’t. I can see in my imagination some poor schlub sitting at a desk going “They did WHAT!” Have fun dealing with this one, I hope they pay you well.

Although one might be tempted to think that it wasn’t, considering my long absences. But I wanted to update you before you get tired of waiting for yours truly to show signs of life again. Which you may already be, but I digress…

The surgery went exceedingly well, with no complications whatsoever. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and, of course, to the kind souls who hit the tip jar to help with expenses. We are so very, very blessed. Blessed to the point of embarrassment considering the horrible trials that my dear friend Caveman and his wife are facing right now. They are, and have been, on my prayer list, but the prayers will be intensified very much. Please join me in this. Better friend no man ever had.

The other reason for my absence from the keyboard has been a much welcome overseas visit, so I’ve been kind of busy showing my kin the wonders of the beautiful state of Texas (not to mention the many and varied beverages for which we are justly famous). Also, I’m once again indebted to my buddies Cheapshot and Crunchie for getting me hooked up with the Interceptor. That poor cruiser has gotten more miles under her chassis in the last week than she ever got while in the service, and she hasn’t complained once. Not to mention the shock and awe when the Imperial Mother and Aunt first saw her and uttered things like “is that YOURS?” and “man, is it HUGE!”, as well as the inevitable “and [insert amazed expletive here] FAST too!”

If only I could get over the strange compulsion to palm their heads and say “watch yer head now” whenever I open the door to let them in.

As to work… Well, no news there still which is, quite frankly, getting to be a bit old. We’re getting awful close to the deadline here and it would be nice to know if one was a working stiff or an unemployed git facing foreclosure when it hits. Sure, no news means that I haven’t gotten the BAD news that I dread… yet… but still.

Me and about 5 million other Americans, thanks to the blessings of the Obamessiah Age of Plenty.

It almost makes me want to break every single one of the Ten Commandments just to be sure that I go to Hell where I can laugh at the torments THAT fucking communist shitheel will be facing.

“Yay, though I crawl through the Valley of Continuous Ass-Rapings by Disgustingly Well-Endowed Demons I shall not give a shit, for the Obamessiah will be getting it a hundred times worse.”

Once again, thanks to you all for being such good, steadfast and loyal friends. I can never thank you enough, but I won’t ever stop trying and I WILL be back to my usual form, which I don’t know if it’s a promise or a threat.

For now, though, please concentrate your prayers on Caveman and his wife.

Just before walking into Babcock Square Pharmacy, the gunman lurked suspiciously around the parking lot Wednesday morning — even moving his car several times before making his move.

Carole Ann Aguirre, manager of the neighboring Martha’s Mexican Restaurant, said the white Honda lingered enough that her grandson, Christopher, mistook it as that of a relative’s and walked up to it.

“He opened the car door and thought it was his uncle,” Aguirre said. “But he saw the man had a bandana around his face and was wearing rubber gloves, so he came back in and told us what happened.”

Aguirre’s son-in-law, Charlie Rojas, called police shortly before 10 a.m. to report the suspicious person. But before Rojas could hang up, the gunman had moved his car once more, this time parking it near the pharmacy at Babcock and Huebner roads.

Nope, nothing suspicious at all. What you’re seeing here is a good example of situational awareness in action. These people were PAYING ATTENTION. An employee in the pharmacy was paying attention as well.

The stranger who had been loitering in the parking lot had walked into the pharmacy carrying a black revolver and a note demanding the narcotic drug OxyContin and some money, according to authorities.

Once inside, the gunman handed the note to a clerk behind the counter, Police Chief William McManus said. The clerk was one of three people inside the pharmacy at the time of the robbery attempt. The others were the pharmacy owner, 62-year-old Bill Wynn, and his wife.

The details about what happened next are unclear, but McManus said the clerk was able to inform the pharmacy owner of the attempted robbery. Wynn, who had been robbed before, somehow managed to arm himself with a gun.

The clerk deserves an award here. The goblin deserves one too…a Darwin Award™! Check out his last words:

That’s when McManus said the robber uttered his last words: “Let’s get it on.”

Little did the goblin know that those words would wind up startling him…with a sudden cessation of vital signs.

Police said Wynn reacted quickly, shooting the gunman in the chest.

“I was scared to death,” Wynn later said, declining to comment further.

Police arrived to find the gunman, whose identity wasn’t released Wednesday, lying on his back in a pool of blood. In his right hand was a cocked revolver.

And the baby Jesus smiled!

McManus said Wynn wouldn’t face any charges in connection with the shooting.

“He was in fear (for) his life,” the chief said. “He has a right and state law allows him to defend himself.”

Which of course, is only proper. Fear ANYONE who thinks that only the government has a right to defend your personal safety, liberty or freedoms.

As many of you know I recently posted a prayer request for LC Caveman’s wife who was being rushed to the hospital. Those of you with a smattering of medical knowledge may have been able to read between the lines of Caveman’s comments and feared the worst. Today those fears where confirmed when Mary was diagnosed with acute Leukemia.

Cave is a proud man who would never ask for help for his self. I had to harangue him to allow his friends to help if the time ever came he needed it, and he still refused. He has been there for so many of our LC’s in the past, yet he will never ask for the very same help. Well now he needs it, and I am pulling rank and offering it, and asking y’all to help me with it.

While the power of prayer can not be understated, he and Mary will need other more tangible assistance as well. Caveman is facing a cut in hours, hours that will already be hit by the need to tend to his wife during her hospitalization and chemo treatments.

If there is any LC here who epitomizes what it means to be a member of the Rottie family, it’s Caveman. And that’s exactly what we are, family. We’ve done it before, we need to do it again.

Of course financial assistance will be of great help. But also needed is encouragement. Mary is facing a tough fight, anyone who has the slightest idea of what leukemia does to a person knows this. Also, any California LC’s who may be in a position to lend physical assistance, please let me know. As more details come in I’ll let you know what can be done and get you in touch with Caveman. If anyone can help out monetarily, contact me and I’ll make the arrangements. I have an address for cards and letters, just e-mail me and I’ll send it to you. Her emotional state is critical, and kind words will do wonders. And if anyone else has any ideas of how you can help, please pipe up and let us know.

Yes my friends, they’re BAAAAAAAACCCCKKK……those lovable, cuddly, unbathed PETA-tards are here once again to make our summer more entertaining. Those brain dead comedians of the Liberal Looney Bin who brought us Sea Kittens and George Clooney flavored Tofu, have been working overtime to get in the news once again.

Yeah, I was kinda wondering what animal was used in the making of Maple Syrup myself. It seems that it actually has nothing at all to do with any thing really.

Members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are launching an international boycott of Canadian maple syrup at the Vermont Statehouse at noon today in an effort to stop the slaughter of baby seals in Canada.

Mmmm…Oven Roasted Baby Seal with Maple Syrup Glaze……

Oh…guess that’s not what they meant…*snicker*

For today’s demonstration, a PETA member will whack a six-foot bottle of maple syrup with a hakapik, which is the weapon used to kill baby seals. The intention is to puncture the bottle and release the blood-red contents inside. On the bottle will be a label featuring a maple leaf dripping blood next to the tagline, “Stop the Seal Slaughter.”

And who pray tell is going to clean up the freaking mess? Beuller? Beuller?
Just like a bunch of Liberal Hippies. Go around screaming about baby animals and saving the earth and all they can do is throw shit all over the place for someone else to clean up.

While there is no correlation between the death of the seals and Canada’s maple syrup industry,

No shit Sherlock….

Beal explained the boycott is an effort to bring awareness to the issue.

Maple Syrup…..Baby Seals…..Maple….Seal…..yeah that’s going to make you aware of the issue alright.

product boycotts have been a PETA method throughout its 28 years of existence.

And they haven’t done one damn bit of good for ya have they? Except provide the rest of us with hours of hilarious entertainment wondering what those idiots are going to come up with next.

“You have to boycott all fur, because the demand on it is what allows this to happen,” said Beal about why baby seals are targeted.

Hey, wait a minute…I thought we were boycotting Maple Syrup….
Damn I wish these morons would make up their minds.

A call to the Ontario Maple Syrup Producers Association was not immediately returned for a comment.

Maybe because they are too busy laughing their asses off??

I don’t know about the rest of you, but some Buttermilk Pancakes with Maple Syrup and some Baby Seal Sausage sounds pretty damn good right now.

Not to be outdone by BC, we decided it was time for an addition to the family of our own.

Say hello to Mr. Smith. He’s a S&W Model 642 Airweight, and brings five rounds of .38+P goodiness to the party. Just the ticket for those hot summer shorts and tee-shirt days, or when you’re just running to the corner market and don’t want to take the time to strap on a holster!

RIVERSIDE, Calif. – Abts, Richard. Adamski, Walter. Ahlman, Enoch. The names are whisked away by the hot, gusting wind as soon as they are spoken, forgotten in the stream of the next name and the next name and the next name. Fuller, Addison. Fuller, Mary. Furlong, John. The story of America could be told through these names, tales of bravery and hesitation, of dreams achieved or deferred and of battles won and lost.

Taken alone, they are just words, identities stripped of place and time, stripped of rank and deeds and meaning.

But they are not taken alone. They are taken together — 148,000 names, representing the entire veteran population of Riverside National Cemetery, a roll call of the dead read aloud over 10 days by more than 300 volunteers.