Domestic Violence Takes Its Toll

December 07, 1994|By DONALD S. BEYER JR.

Last year in Norfolk, on the birthday of her 4-year-old daughter, Mary Jo Parker (not her real name), was beaten by her boyfriend with a baseball bat. He later kicked the pregnant woman in the stomach, yelling, "I'm going to kill the baby!" After enduring more than 20 such episodes, Mary Jo called the police, and her abuser was convicted and served jail time.

Violence within our homes causes injury to an estimated 3 to 4 million women every year in America. If a woman is murdered in this country, 40 percent of the time the killer is her husband or boyfriend. Last year alone, nearly 14 percent of Virginia's homicides resulted from domestic violence. In the 11 public hearings that I held throughout Virginia to learn more about violent crime, I heard from several women like Mary Jo.

This fall, the General Assembly added another jigsaw piece in our long struggle to build a safer Virginia. By abolishing parole and ending early release, we hold violent felons accountable and bring integrity to judge and jury sentencing. Actions have consequences in Virginia. Now it's time to address the causes of violent crime.

Domestic violence is not a one-time crime. Studies show that a violent spouse abuses again and again. As violence against the woman increases and becomes more severe, the children in the family are three times more susceptible to becoming victims of abuse themselves.

Children growing up in an environment of abuse learn to imitate the pattern. One estimate shows a third of the kids in Virginia's juvenile detention centers suffered or witnessed abuse at home. That means domestic violence is not only a crime that escalates, but one that multiplies. And no household is immune. It is happening in our suburbs, our cities and rural areas, to families of every race, religion and class.

This crime is not an easy one to stop. I asked in the public hearings why women like Mary Jo stay in abusive relationships. The answer - they feel isolated, financially and emotionally dependent and embarrassed. What is worse, statistics show that victims of domestic violence are at most risk when they try to leave their abusers. Separated or divorced women are 4 1/2 times more likely to be victims of violent crime than married women.

Virginia law carries tough penalties for domestic violence convictions, but this is not an issue that government can handle alone. What I heard from victims makes it clear that police officers, legal experts, social workers, community leaders, all of us must be involved to turn the tide. Recently Chief Justice Harry Carrico of the Virginia Supreme Court called for all involved in these cases to become healers. The need for judicial training to hold abusers accountable also is critically important.

Communities need to encourage victims to come forward, and local law enforcement must be instrumental in urging citizens to report cases as part of their civic duty. By providing support to victims and creating communities that are committed to preventing violence within families, we can change the dynamic.

The people of the commonwealth can do our part by giving full funding to victim/witness and family violence prevention programs. These programs give victims an advocate in the legal process and address one universal problem among victims: fear of reporting. We must also make sure every battered woman has a place to go. No less than 3,000 women and children were turned away from Virginia's family violence prevention shelters last year. We must make room for them.

Mary Jo is just one among thousands of Virginia women who live lives of quiet desperation, just waiting for a time bomb to go off. For her, it did, and today while she puts the pieces of her life back together with her two daughters - trying to get her finances straight, worrying about her children and the abusive patterns they may have learned, Mary Jo wonders why it took more than 20 violent episodes to get out of an abusive relationship.