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Friday, 10 February 2012

Reasons why Fran is not an Olympic athlete

Overheard at a bus stop.....

I lie. I overheard nothing. It was my own conversation. But, for a moment there, you thought you might hear something interesting. I hope you enjoyed your nano-second of tension. It's all down hill from here.

Me: 'So, your father and I are coming up to Sheffield to see you at half-term, then.'

Daughter: 'Yeah, that'll be nice.'

Me: 'Dad says you'll be wanting to visit some remote place called Castleton.'

Daughter: 'Oh, fine. Okay, then. Yeah. Let' s go there.'

Me: 'Dad says you took him there before, and you love it there because of the beautiful scenery and the bus ride through the countryside.'

Daughter: 'Well ....'

Me: 'He says you love the whole nature thing, the walking, the views.'

[Pause.]

'Mum, I like it because of the fudge.'

It's at moments like these that my little mummy heart bursts with pride. There's nothing more rewarding than knowing you have passed on to the next generation the best bits of your personality, your skills, your attributes, your instincts, your ambitions and desires.

I once made a whole batch of fudge to give people at Christmas. I put it all in a box and hid it at the back of a wardrobe from the rest of the family, forgetting that, in fact, the only person who was likely to raid it and eat it was me.

We gave everyone tins of biscuits from Tesco that year.

Tonight, I am not eating fudge, but I have persuaded the husband to open a box of toffee he was given for Christmas (presumably by someone who could Control Themselves). I have eaten SO much toffee, and I feel bad, because someone could have used that same amount of toffee to stick together our broken world.

The husband said he was going to put the box somewhere Up High, just in case. I presume he meant one of the shelves in the house......

Fran's husband was taking no chances.

I have started a new blog post category called Me and Food. I should have done it years ago, because the topic seems to creep into completely dominate so many of my posts.

what's the name of the occurence where sheep all over the world do something simultaneously (or did I dream that they did that and it had a name)?

It must've happened last night because I dared to open the HUGE box of Belgian Seashell chocs I'd been given as a Christmas pressie and also, without paying heed to the warning that had previously made me hide them on the top shelf of the larder although I'm the only person with a tooth sweet enough to eat them, made an absolute biffo of myself pretending that eating one choc per minute was called restraint!

The newspapers are always full of days of the year classed as The Most Depressing or The Least Spending, so last night was probably Give Way to Willpower...

Enjoy the rest of your choc fuelled weekend (yes, they are VERY tasty on top of porridge)x

I don't think my teeth could cope with huge amounts of toffee sadly ( I am slowly becoming my own mother )Joe went to Castleton on a week's residential primary school trip. ( They wanted somewhere very different from where we live on the south coast ) He spent all his spending money on a shell for me which obviously came from somewhere hot & by the sea. Not Castleton anyroad. Bless him. He's in New York now on another School trip .... I've hinted that I'd like The Empire State building ( in a glass snow shaker )

Yay for your daughter having her priorities in the right place. I visit all manner of lovely parks etc purely for the cakes in the tea shop. I also have been known to be highly territorial over chocolate. It's not one of my prouder moments.

About Me

I'm a writer and English teacher based in Warwickshire.

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