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CRITICAL Darling

Notice something peculiar about Screens this week? Go ahead, flip. I’ll wait. (By the way, if you’re reading this on the web, you’re screwed. Go back to shopping and watching porn.)

Ahem — cue Jeopardy! music …

Got it? A certain saturation of a single byline have we, yeah? The Beach Boys, had they precognizantly cherished our erstwhile media editor’s signature creative aside, might have instead sung — (Oh, who are we kidding? No they wouldn’t’ve) — “We wish they all could be Villaloboses.”

Not that Critical Darling doesn’t treasure Screens’ Kellmans, Haddons, Hawkinses, Martinezes, and DeFores (to say nothing of its Lindstroms), but no name says “quality” family-time relief like Brian Villalobos, upon whom we bestow — as a first — the prestigious and completely fabricated title of “Special Thanksgiving Guest Editor to the Screens Section.” Put that on your résumé, BV.

Equally resplendent is news that Todd Haynes’ non-biopic biopic of Bob Dylan, I’m Not There, has been released in San Antonio in a manner so timely it prompted this writer to shriek “YOU MUST BE JOKING!” at her computer screen. Critical Darling’s co-workers must be very tolerant. XO.