Oh, Gaga! Oh no! Our gal Gagz announced via Twitter and Facebook this afternoon that she's postponing the rest of her current tour due to chronic and debilitating synovitis, or inflammation of the joints. She says she's been hiding the pain from her staff, but she just can't cope anymore and will be postponing her next four tour dates (in Chicago, Detroit, and Hamilton, Ontario).

"I barely know what to say," she writes on her Facebook page, Tuesday. "I've been hiding a show injury and chronic pain for some time now, [and] over the past month it has worsened. I've been praying it would heal. I hid it from my staff. I didn't want to disappoint my amazing fans. However, after last night's performance I could not walk and still can't."

"I hope you can forgive me, as it is nearly impossible for me to forgive myself," the rest of her Facebook post says. "I'm devastated & sad. It will hopefully heal as soon as possible. I hate this. I hate this so much. I love you and I'm sorry."

Sure you don't want to just break out the "Paparazzi"-era wheelchair and golden crutches? Making crutches fabulous is kind of your THING, Gaga. Just a thought. (Also get well soon, etc.) [People]

Bryan T. Norwood, the Virginia police chief who maybe-possibly-probably signed off on Chris Brown's falsified community service records, has resigned his position over the incident.

The L.A. County D.A. claimed last week that the records are bogus and that Chris had a prior relationship with Mr. Norwood, who wrote a letter to the judge on September 14, claiming Chris successfully completed 202 days of community service, 22 more than he was required.

The D.A. claimed that following its investigation, it found no ''credible, competent or verifiable evidence'' that Chris performed 180 days of service and called his documentation ''at best sloppy ... and at worst fraudulent reporting.''

Chris' lawyer has slammed the allegations as ''scurrilous, libellous and defamatory'' but the judge has asked Chris to verify his hours.

After a couple decades of sobriety, Bruce Willis says he's fine having a glass of wine now and then. Also he doesn't need your dumb Oscars.

"I had been sober," Willis, who reportedly decided to get sober in 1988 after being the face of Seagram's Golden Wine Cooler products in the 1980s, explains in the March issue. "But once I realized that I wasn't gonna run myself off the pier of life with alcohol, drinking vodka out of the bottle every day . . . I have wine now, mostly when I eat."

..."It just always has seemed whimsical to me, to think about it. You don't get an Oscar for comedy, and you don't get it for shooting people. You get it for novelty, for being fascinating to watch in some character role," the action star sniffs. "But the Die Hard stuff and Dirty Harry are all fraught with the same thing that every story is fraught with."

Don't worry, bro. They're just embarrassed because they know they fucked up by snubbing Hudson Hawk. [Us]

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Philip Seymour Hoffman says the Hunger Games books are good for kids because it teaches them about the horrors of kidnapping children and making them fight to the death.

"It's unbelievable what this woman has done," said 45-year-old Hoffman. "She literally tells our modern history of war and the awful things that have happened through these science-fiction novels. In the modern day, we send children off to die to protect our way of life, basically. It's very powerful the way she does it."

Amazed by the Collins trilogy of books, Hoffman immediately wanted to be a part of the films, reports MSN. Though the story involves a heavy dose of violence among children, Hoffman says that the message of The Hunger Games isn't "kids who kill each other."He says that if the films are done right, they are something that kids should see.

In case you missed it, Alec Baldwin and Hilaria are having a little vegan baybay. [DailyMail]

Kelly Clarkson will wear Vera Wang at her wedding, and describes the dress as "my personality in a dress. It's sweetly damaged. A little rock and roll. A little tattered. Nothing like a princess thing!". [E!]

Jennifer Lopez launches new fragrance. OUT OF HER BUTT!!!!!!!! [Extra]

Snobby designers refuse to lend clothes to Kim Kardashian because they don't want her associated with their brands, says a stylist who had difficulties dressing Kim for an Elle shoot. [Radar]

This headline is more entertaining without the second half: "Josh Groban Pulled Out Of Jenny McCarthy"......("Show Over Go-go Girls"). [ContactMusic]