Do you know why? Because Duke Cannon is a MAN; not a kid on MTV with a hairless chest and perfect abdominals. Duke Cannon earned his chest hair by doing hard man work over the years and there’s no damn way he’s going to be conned into being embarrassed that he has it.

But what about the soap? Is it any good, or is it a POS product that survives only off great marketing, like the pet rock, Crystal Pepsi or Kim Kardashian before it? I was eager to find the answer.

In an era where men’s body wash gels have taken over, Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap is truly that; it’s a big, green piece of soap that has a big “D” (imprinted on it, you perv) and weighs three-quarters of a pound.

As I removed it from its sheath, I was assaulted by its fragrance. But it was a good, enjoyable assault. It smelled like a high quality men’s cologne rather than a fragrance associated with a bar of soap. Once Duke and I hit the shower after a long day at the orifice, Duke cleaned all my orifices in the most pleasing manners allowed by law. The soap also had these little yellow pieces of steel cut grains imbedded in it. Purportedly used for “maximum gripability,” they also worked to exfoliate and scrub dead skin from your body; you know, if you swing that way.

The Big Ass Brick of Soap came to a frothy head soon after we entered the shower and I never felt even an ounce of guilt or regret about it. The froth itself was very thick and laid down a dense layer of awesome all over my body. When it was time to rinse, it washed right off (which can be atypical of several leading men’s soaps), but the awesome lingered long after, and made me recall a time when me were men and weren’t ashamed of it either.

The next day I hit the shower again and thanks to the girth of Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap, it looked like I hadn’t even touched it the previous day, which means that for a meager $15 investment for three bars, you’re going to get more than a handful of uses in exchange for your hard earned cash.

I wasn’t very impressed with the products from Minus 417, which symbolized everything that’s wrong with a lot of supposed “high end” men’s skin care products that are on the market. Just because it contains a litany of exotic sounding ingredients and is high priced ($98.00 for the kit), it doesn’t mean it’s good.

Hyped as a product that was enriched with “dead-sea minerals” and “vitamin A, vitamin E, sweet-almond oil, carrot-seed oil and olive oil,” it quickly devolved into a cacophony of ingredients. The dizzying array of natural substances that comprised the line, from what I could tell, was all hype. I can’t tell the difference between a dead-Sea mineral and carrot-seed oil once it’s on my skin, but if it’s a moisturizer, make it refresh my skin and keep it moist for an extended period of time. If it’s a shaving cream, make it easy to apply to my skin, shave and rinse off my blade.

The first sample I used from the Body Care Kit for Men was the Mineral Shave Cream. I could tell from the moment I put it in my hand, just by the texture, that it wasn’t very good. I squeezed a large amount from the tube into my hand and rubbed them together, but when I did that, instead of having the product expand like most shaving creams, it gradually dissipated thanks to the friction in my hands. So, I squeezed out even more and did the same thing, this time applying some water, but it didn’t help either. After a third squeeze, I got enough out to apply on my face, but it immediately began to sting. Not only that, but it felt like I was putting lotion on my face rather than a shaving cream. It got to the point where I was literally glopping it on my face to cover the entire area.

I started dragging the razor across my face and it came up pretty easily; I didn’t have to go over the same area multiple times. But getting the cream out of my razor was a pain, and a thin layer of it coated my sink when I was done. It was not a pleasant experience.

After I washed my face, I applied the Active Moisturizer After Shave. In addition to the scent being completely overbearing, I could tell from the minute I applied it I would have to keep putting it on, over and over, because one application dries your skin out rather than moisturizing. After I put it on, my skin was dry and flakey, worse than if I hadn’t applied anything.

Finally, I used the Body & Hair Shampoo for Men. It was akin to the free shampoo you get from a hotel when you forget yours; it just wasn’t very good.

I was not impressed with any facet of the Minus 417 Body Care Kit for Men. It reminded me of a cheap substitute attempting to masquerade as a high end product. You can put a pig in a dress, but at the end of the day, it’s a pig wearing a dress.

What do you get when combine organic and bio-tech ingredients with the skin pH and chemistry of the modern man? RAW Skin Care! This isn’t just a white bottle with the word “lotion” on it that you can mindlessly pick up at Wal-Mart — this is a complete facial cleansing system, specifically designed for men who know the difference.

First, I washed my face with the Blue Agave Wash. The cream itself was thick; I used a minimal amount but that wasn’t enough. Some products will foam up and expand, but the RAW did not — it had more of a balm-type texture and quality. Even when I added some water and worked it into my skin, it didn’t lather up too much; it was like a coating which reminded me of the deep cleanse that you get during a facial. After a few minutes of rubbing it in, I could feel my skin begin to open up. The scent was brisk and mentholated, and my skin felt open. I have never used a product with blue agave previously, but in addition to feeling the refreshing burn that menthol provides, this was more soothing and subtle than simple menthol.

When I rinsed it off, it didn’t come streaming off of my face, which is how I knew it was high quality. I had to use a significant amount of water to get it off, and in this regard it felt like a facial peel. Exfoliate is a popular term that gets thrown around pretty loosely, but it really did exfoliate my skin based on the feeling that began to settle in after I rinsed my face off. Initially, I didn’t feel any major difference. But about two minutes later, my skin felt tight and smooth. Not to sound redundant, but it was the feeling you get after a facial where you feel refreshed and wide open.

Vaseline MEN was kind enough to send us some samples at Bullz-Eye and we must say they are on to something here! Vaseline MEN is no greasy body and face lotion that is made for us guys. We tested the Vaseline MEN Fast Absorbing Body and Face Lotion in a large 24.5oz pump blue container and will run you around $5 or $6. Most us don’t realize that men’s skin is thicker and more oily than women’s so Vaseline produced the Men’s line for men’s unique skin needs. I noticed that Vaseline Men’s is fast absorbing, non-greasy and doesn’t have you walking away with some flowery scent. Alot of guys stay away from lotion because of the greasy feel afterwards but you can “get moisturized” without the slippery feeling with Vaseline Men Fast Absorbing Body & Face Lotion.

You also probably noticed some of the Vaseline MEN’s ads with former NFL star defensive lineman Michael Strahan. Well, if you’re reading this in time, check out our contest where you can win a signed Michael Strahan football and check out the Keep your Grip Challenge Game where you can win a grand prize trip to Las Vegas for 4 friends!