Weddings a real waste

All these fairs designed to whip the brides into a frenzy to get them to spend all their husband-to-be’s cash before they’ve even got down the aisle.

Why? It’s such a tremendous waste of time and money. So many marriages end in divorce, why even bother?

As someone who is however happily married, I can certify that big white weddings are not needed.

All that cash on one day, one dress, one meal (for 75 of your closest friends and relatives). Why spend it? If ever anyone told you they were spending £26k on a party you’d cart them off to the lunatic asylum.

But as with all ‘purchases of the heart’ somewhere in the background tills are ringing.

You’d be better off pocketing the lot and blowing it all on a one way ticket straight out of Worksop.