First off, don't get me wrong, Evanesnce is talented and all.. but is it just me or do they sound like they're riping off Rasputina, just a little bit..? And I'm sorry, but that is not Goth Rock. For goth rock please download "Spit And Rape" by Jack Off Jill, or "Tournequet" by Rasputina. I do believe Marilyn Manson produced both songs. Also, if you think Avril Lavigne is punk.. please download some Rancid. If you do not like that, you do not like punk. And also.. Good Charlotte is not emo. Dashboard Confessional is emo. Saves the day is emo. Taking Back Sunday could be considered emo-punk. I gave Wade my tickets to Roc-Da-Mic, for his birthday, and he's coming to my birthday dinner after Ashley is out of jail. =^_^= Wade is so awesome. I have been SO busy IRL, that I'm only online late at night. Eee. I met Ben-daddy's new girlfriend. She seems cool, but I have some suspicions concerning Fujii-sama, and you bet Ben-sama will hear my warnings. (Even though he wont heed them, and in the end will say.. "I don't know what happened.." and I'll have to say, "It's okay Ben-sama.. I understand. - Hug -") I miss him so much! I can't wait until he gets back.. Also.. "Ex" and I have been plotting some things XD. Believe me, I know everything that's going on. Like he doesn't have my back! Please, at least bitch to my face in an AIM so I can make you look stupid! I'm talking to Shaun\Rowen right now. He's sooo sweet. Shaun18IBM: I think you're pretty, flirty, and sexy. >.>Lol. Aww. Can't let Shaun-sama see that, though. He'll get all defensive, and ugh. And OMG! My poor Shaun-sama! His brother's house burned down, and he had to save his niece, and now he has burns on his back.. He called my mother this morning to let her know that he was in the hospital, and to tell me he was okay. Aww! That is so sweet! My mom and Shaun have such a good relationship. =@-@= Lol. Speaking off Shaun, he's taking screenshots of his Kenshin OAV on KaZaA, and sending them to me. Speaking of anime, Lain has been airing on TechTV's Extreme Anime hour block along with some other anime I dunno of. I have no idea what anime is on Action right now, but I intend to watch the rest og Gunsmith Cats, when it comes back on. Rally is my hero! And May is just like me! XD! Also..

Attention!All pissed-off dykes with no rights;Wimmin sick of sexism and homophobia;Lesbians who've had it up to our raised fistswith backlash fights and working with wimminwho defend men's rights?.

DITCH all of that crap and come join some militant wimmin for the very first meeting of the Dykes' International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell* so we channel our rage into productivestreet activist that's by, for, and about lesbians.

*Where: The LGBT Center -2068 West 13th street, NYCtake the 1/2/3/9 to 14th street at 7th ave.or the A/C/E to 14th street and 8th ave.

*When:Thursday, July 17th, 2003, 6-8pm

*Why:To stand up, to say "no more," to push back against the conservatismof the United States--from the tippy top of the government (i.e. "President" Bush); to the oppressiveness of everyday life (like getting harassed and attacked in the streets, at work, by the media, in schools); right down to the insanity of our communities (like anti-feminist "feminist" movements and anti-lesbian "queer" movements).

*This meeting and activist group is open to ALL radical feminist dykes. This means that if you're a lesbian womyn of any race, class, level of education and activist experience and you're dedicated to ending sexism, heterosexism, racism, classism, and systems that oppress wimmin, we WANT and NEED you.However, if you want to crash our meeting because you think it's more productive to hate on feminism or lesbianism than to help out or not block organizing feminists, because you want to offer us dumb boy-worshipping college arguments about why separatism is evil, or to tell us we need to join your movement or protest Le Tigre and the Butchies, don't even bother. Go back to unconsciously revering rapists. You rule.

For more information, e-mail marisa at dykerevolution@y...See you in the streets til then. Much love and respect. xoxox

I fucking HATE preps. MTV RUINED the fucking Warped Tour. The worst part is I might HAVE to go to hang around with Simple Plan backstage, and run the SP booth, if they're gonna have one again. I also hate how preps are like your friend to your face, but like, a fucking bitch behind your back. (Disclainer: Not all preps are this way. Just all the ones I know..) I think that's why I hate being friends with girls. They'll be all, "Lets hang out, lets do this, blah, blah.." then "Oh yeah, I hate her, she is so eww!" Or they'll tell you that they hate a certain person, then hang out with them behind your back. Sooo pathetic. It's very sad. I always tell the truth,a nd how I feel and etc, but I get bitched at because I say something someone doesn't want to hear. Then they'll sit back, and try to say that it isnt true, or try to justify it, or use the past as in excuse.

I'm sorry little girls... The past is -=- not -=- relevent. People change. Now, now, you can be mad at someone for what happened in the past, or what theyt did in the past, however, because they are responsible for what happened, however you shouldn't use the past against someone, unless they are continuing such things. I'm going to use Joel, Vera, and I as examples.

Vera and I bitched at Joel and said bad things.

Joel did mean things.

Vera was a good friend.

I backed down from everything.

Now.

Vera and I are still responsible for what we said about Joel, but that doesn't mean that you can say that all we do is bitch because of what happened forever ago.

Joel did do those bad things, that makes him responsible, that doesn't mean he's still the same person, but, as far I as know, he's still like that. (Because of what Bob is saying.)

Vera... she's not really anything to me anymore. More like a floating entity that I hear about, but don't talk to b/c she's become stuck up. She's the typical annoying girl\prep thing mentioned above.

Me: ..I generally stand up for myself until the other person backs down, or I lose oxygen. It's usually the first. I bitch a lot less, which no one realizes because I only update my journals, if I feel like complaining. And my Samar journal is ALL bitching, so people go looking for my rants and use them as excuses for saying that I don't have a sunny disposition. I hang out with my friends (Rory, Jen, Jeff, Cory, Ari, Shane, Anthony, etc.) more. Really the only people, I like online anymore are Shaun, Alex, and Anita, and the folks I R/P with at No Mercy. (Regan, Anji, Mona, etc.)

More, more...

I'm taking C-s.n off hiatus. Whoo. the joy. Loobeh and I are still doing the domain ring, (I think..) and I finally downloaded the new White Stripes CD - "Elephant". And I saw Creeper Lagoon in concert! I want to see scarling., and Dashboard Confessional soo bad! DashB-C re-released Swiss Army Romance, with new previously unreleased songs! Yay! Downloaded more M. Manson (Sweet Dreams Cover [Remix]), Bikini Kill (Suck My Left One) , Velvet Acid Christ (Fuck You Bitch!), Some ThrowDown, HateBreed, and supposedly scarling. did a cover of "Creep" (Originally by Radioheed.). Will download that too. I also need to D/L "H/C" (Pronounced H Over C) by scarling. Good shit. Well, I'm out. Grad party. Will leave compy on for AIM messages.. Send.

................................I'LL BE IN JAPAN!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! IT'S A DREAM COME TRUUUUUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy! Oh so happy! I'm so happy, it's a miracle! La la la.. Oooooooooooooh I can't wait to tell Ben! And Shaun! And Meka! And Ani! And Alex! And eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The RAPTURE!

Pick ANY 20 LJ users. Without revealing their names, say something about or to each one of them. Never reveal who is what.

1. You are so adorable and huggable. Cuddling with you made me so happy I don't know if anything rivals that. You NEVER update anymore. I never call anymore. I miss you.

2. You are great. we never really talk anymore but when we do it's always fun and cheers me up right away. You are an awesome big sister. Lets paint the white house blue!

3. You! Eee! We used to hate each other more than Jews hated Hitler. I don't remember anymore. You'll really cool now, and we never talk unless something's going on. I understand you so much, and I think you're really great sometimes.

4. BEST FRIEND ALERT!!! Lmao. You are such a Joel!! (Inside joke.) J/k! I remember you saying "Your phone may die but our friendship never will". You were so right. Rock on girl. You're my hero.

5. Onee-san. You are my general support system. You've showed me when I was dreaming, and you broght me back to reality. You are so awesome. Your brother sucks. =P

6. Another one of my heroes. You scammed so many Avril lovers that you deserve a parade, and you reserve the right to hang Avril by her tie.

7. You are never gonna read this. Do you even LOOK at LJ's anymore, hun? I don't think so. Last time we talked you had some issues, but it was tight. I miss you! One Luv.

You are Samara! Look at you, you are the link toall the fear. You lived a complicated life, andyou loved your mother, Anna, but you didn'tknow why she went crazy and killed you. What apoor life you had, and in your afterlife, youare ready for revenge! You just wanted to beheard, and you are heard now!

So.. One of my Sisters.. (From NM, not L3..) Told me something I found HUMOROUS. Something about an ex dating something that is like me so much that I should puke. Or at least that was her own words. =\ I haven't checked the young lady out yet, and I don't really plan to, but I talked to my psych about it and he also found it funny. I told him how I felt and he suggested this song to me, saying this was exactly what I was saying in my own words. (Which he also added included lots of bad words... [You know.. fuckwit... cunt.. asshole.. bastard.. the usual..] Heheh..) Did I mention my Psych reminds me SO MUCH OF BEN that I sometimes want to glomp him and make him mine? ..Er.. Rephrase... SO MUCH OF BEN that I want to passout? </rephrase> Um.. Hehehehe.. Anyway. My Cousin.. Ashley... Who can be reached at thugmissesx05@aol.com (I think...) sent me back all the convo's I had. (Which I had deleted =D Go me! Whoo! BRIT YOU FUCKING ROCK! Yeah, yeah. I do. Whoo. Joel's an asshole! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ~Breaks into song~..stops~ Anyway I been listening to this song non-stop now I fucking FEEL IT and RECCOMEND it to anyone who's ex fucked them over and tried to blame your innocent ass. =D!And so... Get ready for applause... Yes, yes.. I dub this... the LAST ENTRY TO EVER CONTAIN THE BASTARDS NAME. =D Whoo! Somewhere Vera is crying tears of joy! =D {Simply for my amusement I've included some quotes from my loved ones about that loserly bastard. Eee! The rapture!}

Fighter

After all you've put me throughYou think I despise youBut in the end, I wanna thank youBecause you made me that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you.Thinking that you were true.Guess I couldn't trust.Called your bluff, time is up, Cause I've had enough

You were there by my sideAlways down for the rideBut your joyride just came down in flamesCause your deeds sold me out in shame, mhmm...

After all of the stealing and cheatingYou probably think that I hold resentment for youBut, you're wrongCause if it wasn't for all that you tried to doI wouldn't knowJust how capable I am to pull throughSo I wanna say thank you cause

It made me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harderIt makes me that much wiserSo thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit fasterMade my skin a little bit thickerIt makes me that much smarterSo thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it comingAll of your backstabbingJust so you could cash in on my good thingsBefore I realize youre gameI heard you're going aroundPlaying the victim nowBut don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blameCause you dug your own grave

After all of the fights and the liesGuess you wanted to harm meBut that won't work anymoreNo more, it's overCause if it wasn't for all of your tortureI wouldn't know howTo be this way nowAnd never back downSo I wanna say thank you cause

It made me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harderIt makes me that much wiserSo thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit fasterMade my skin a little bit thickerIt makes me that much smarterSo thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knewTurn out to be unjust, so cruelCould only see the good in youPretended not to see the truthYou tried to hide your liesDisguise yourself throughLiving in denialBut in the end you'll seeYou won't stop me

I am a fighter and II ain't gonna stopThere is no turning backI, I've had enough

It made me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harderIt makes me that much wiserSo thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit fasterMade my skin a little bit thickerIt makes me that much smarterSo thanks for making me a fighter

The one I won't forgetI rememberOh, I rememberOh, I remember

---------------------------

Now while I find this one entertaining I like the second one best.

Dear Joel.......... I'm sorry for some of how I acted in the past. However I will not forgive you for telling Brittany to fuck off after she said I love you. NOTHING will EVER justify that. And I also believe that you two are in an ABUSIVE relationship. Maybe not to you, but diffinately to her. And I know she loves you, and I hate that you don't love her like that. But I'm sorry for "going out of my way to insult you" and whatever. So.. hopefully next time we talk, there will be no confrontation. - Vera

And Yes... the following is the BEST OF THEM ALL!!!!!!!!

Due to my absence from the funeral, I would like to say something about poor little Joel.First of all, JOEL IS DEAD! JOEL IS DEAD! Although he did have some good qualities such as making my sister happy, and making her laugh, he was nice sometimes. He was a very, very bad man. Very very very very bad. He made my sister cry, countless times! That bastard! He made my sister suicidal and depressed. He should burn. I mean, having a new girl, every month, doesn't that just SCREAM out whore? Well, it does to me. And I apologize to everyone who liked Joel. (Which was... what? 3 People.) But, Joel was a very bad lover (So I hear.), and, he broke so many hearts, it's about time his got broken, literally. And I would like to send out a personal thanks to God, for taking him away from us, so we dun have to deal with his outbursts, and his depressed\suicidal girlfriends that he scarred for life. Thank you God, and I'm sure you wont send him to the devil RIGHT away, but in an hour or two. Thank You ladies and gentlemen.

..By the way. As Brittany Ann Marie Archer's lawyer, I would like to add, that due to Mr. Cunningham's death, Miss Archer will be getting the house, the car, the clothes, the jewelry, the guitar, the throne, the tiara, the cats, She wants it all. ^_^

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. And I know it's bad to speak ill of the dead, but he was a horrible human and I hope that dying will cause him to be a better person.. And sometimes he was nice to me, but most of the time he wasn't. So please remember that when reading this. Ta da.

~Hikari.

P.S. Marcus.... YOU ROCK!

Funny Quotes:

Celeste: For all you know, She and Joel could be meant to be together. You two could come between her and Joel's happiness.Mona: Look. We don't know "Naomi", Okay? We know Brit. We like Brit. If making Joel miserable makes Brit happy.. Lets make her happy. We damn know she needs it.Celeste: Brit, you can find other ways to be happy. Go tease Ben.Mona and Brit: That's not fun!Brit: Why wont you let ME be happy!?Mona: Yes! No one likes Joel! He's an asshole! Brit an angel.Brit: The Angel And The Jerk!!![ Brit and Mona break into laughter, and Celeste sighs in defeat.]

Quote:-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cuz I juse it to other things than talking @#%$ about a Talented person......so @#%$ of bitch...--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am quite confused, here. Please explain yourself in full detail.

You "juse" something? What is this "juse" and from which word does it originate from? I am curious about "jusing" things. I would like to know if I am capable of "jusing" my brain as well. Is it some sort of mental sport? Is it some sort of mental puzzle? I like puzzles. They are fun. Unless they are the five thousand piece puzzles, then I just get angry at them and force the pieces together. I can tell you, my puzzles with that many pieces never look like the box.

How can you "juse" your brain to "to other things?" I am curious about this process, also. There are so many new things I am wishing to learn about these things you do, please let me know how I go about doing them. I wish to have a vast knowledge of human processes such as "to other"ing and "jusing."

I will assume you were saying "s hit." I never said "s hit" about any talented people. I don't like to talk "s hit" about talented people. It is obvious you do not understand that Avril is untalented, and therefore I can say as much "s hit" about her as I would like. Let us compare. Alanis is talented. She writes her own music, plays an instrument, sings, and has struck big with more than just a pop crowd. She is herself, and no matter what the rumors say, she is willing to dismiss them without foul language and idiocy. I am not saying I like Alanis Morrisette, but I have more respect for her than Avril. Avril is a pop star. Avril likes to believe she is punk, and say utterly unintelligent things about other people, such as Alanis. Avril likes to act stupid, and make stupid videos. Avril is nasty. Avril is dirty. Avril is rather dumb and doesn't write her own music, nor play an instrument.

I will assume you said "f uck." How can I "f uck of bitch?" I would like to know how. If you could guide me through this process of "of"ing, then I would greatly appreciate it. By the way, if I were to take your message in context, I would believe you called me a female dog. What makes you assume I am female, for one? Last time I checked, I was not a dog, either. Unless, of course, I am some sort of forty-six and two anthro dog, then it's a different story, but I have not heard about evolving to forty-six and two within the last year, so I don't think it has happened yet. Though, you may have a sense of the future and may know that I will sometime become some sort of female dog, yet I do not believe in your prophecy, so I will not heed your word.

Working on the site. ( http://www.cherry-scented.net ) Right now it's.. well, you'll see. I have a new affiliate! Yay! http://www.strawberrygashes.com Check it out. Her and I might start a webring for Jack Off Jill\Scarling related domain names. I also want to start a Gothic Lolita Clique. Hm.. That's what the new layout theme is going to be. EGL. Yay.

Duo Maxwell -- People often get the wrong ideaabout you, but that's ok, kicking ass is easierwhen your opponent underestimates you. You'vehad a difficult past, but you would go to helland back so that others don't have to sufferthe same way. You are smart, tough, andresourceful. You are also a decent judge ofcharacter when it comes to placing yourloyalties.

Fujii convinced me to let go of my fakeness of acting dim-witted, around Ben. And now I have to "Be myself.." The problem is.. I'm afraid he might actually like myself! Wait.. is that so bad..? Here's the deal, around Ben for whatever nuerotic reason I act immature, stupid, weak, and dependant. Mostly because that's my character. And when you're used to acting a certain way online it fits. But that ISNT ME AT ALL. But how do I tell him that!? And augh. Augh. </teenage>

Also! Whoo! I found a sexy boy. (Okay, man..) I added ThrowingStarDNA to my list. He's really funny. (Did I mention he is FUCKING HOT!? Reow! [Please don't read this.. Please don't read this..]) I hate being fucking jailbait. I look like I'm 18 half the time. Why do I have to be 16..? Bah. He reminds me of myself.. in a strange crazy... alsmot twilightzone-ish way. Or at least while I'm on my paxil.. My Bi Polar-ness hasn't been bothering me in about 8 months. So yay! My meds are working. Good one doctor! Stupid doctor Sendi.

You have a toothache and go to the dentist. You awake with a strange pain in your head. A botched Lobotomy or a nitrous nightmare? Think Tony Montana from Scarface wearing Strawberry Shortcake's dress.....