Archive for the Beyonce Category

Beyonce and Jay Z are in Iceland, which is supposed to be an amazing place, but that would be a more amazing place if it took their lives, because they are the worst, especially when they are dressed like total assholes, I mean except in Beyonce’s bikini pics, which are tolerable despite being Beyonce, because they are bikini pics, and would be worth looking at if they were anyone, even Beyonce, who in case you didn’t know is the fucking worst…latch on…trying to be sexy and youthful, despite being a married mom…

All this to say that Black people…don’t really belong in the snow…they snow suits kind of throw off their billionaire swag…

I guess Beyonce learned last year that releasing videos to her unreleased album was a genius marketing hook, because the internet is the future, no one’s got time to wait for the traditional one single, one video, record industry bullshit, instead hype her up, so that she can sell tickets to her motherfucking show, this is Beyonce and she does it different…or at least you know she thinks she does….

She also sexes herself up, despite being a mom with a lot of money, who doesn’t need money, because getting naked for attention, makes her feel young, relevant and competitive, even though it’s up on some Madonna…too old to be naked shit…

That said, she’s in her lingerie – at some point in the video…which on mute…is actually a dope video – just a shitty soundtrack to the video…

Beyonce did this shoot for Interview, I didn’t bother looking for the rest of them, even though I know they will be half naked, and her as sexy as she can be, because she’s up on some midlife crisis hustle, where she feels she can compete with these younger girls…and I guess she can…because people are loving her shit, despite her being a mom, at least rumored to be a mom, there’s no proof that pregnancy was actually real….it could have been movie make-up…when I think it is unchristian…but I guess her fame and career in and of itself is not Christian, and she’s a horrible person, but I bet she thanks GOD and Jesus when she wins awards….it’s what these people do…

Beyonce just dropped a new video. She twerks in it wearing panties because Beyonce doesn’t realize she’s a mom in her 30s with hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank who doesn’t need to twerk, but who is twerking to validate herself, to prove she’s still got sex appeal, to prove she’s as good as Rihanna or the other younger girls Jay Z has sex with/masturbates to/makes money from…

It’s weird, makes me uncomfortable, but not really, because in my everyday life, I’ve seen much more desperate and sad things…in fact, I’ve paid girls very little money to do more desperate and sad things, because I am charitable like that…

I don’t know if I really need to see the damage Blue Ivy did to a middle aged Beyonce’s vagina, but I do know that Beyonce wants you see the damage Blue Ivy did to a middle aged Beyonce, who don’t really realize she’s too big, old, fat and a fucking mom to be dressed like this, yet for some reason, a reason I call her trying to be as hot and controversial as Rihanna, I don’t really mind it…I guess I’ll look at any girl’s vagina definition, pretty much always…I’m predictable like that.

Beyonce is in her underwear…but not in stolen pictures, I guess no one cares about seeing her get fucked by Jay Z, but I find that hard to believe, because it would be like a circus event worth a billion dollars of obnoxious.

I guess this is more of a why bother when she’s leaking the content herself in efforts to be some kind of sex symbol or interesting…despite being old and a mom.

Instead of being graceful and rich as fuck, post panty pics like a hooker trying to make it…

I feel like I’ve seen these pictures before, but also feel like I never want to see these pictures again, maybe they are old, maybe I blocked them out, maybe they are not that great, I mean they are Beyonce, it’d be hard for them to be great – even though she is pretty convinced that everything she does is great…

Every time I see a hot pic on instagram – I know a girl put in serious fucking work. I know she has all the photoshop apps, slimming apps, thigh gap apps, ass enhancing apps, especially people like Beyonce, who are mom’s in their 30s, totally fucking delusional trying to compete with the 20 year old counterparts…I am just surprised she didn’t send them off to a professional retoucher, she’s beyonce and they cost around 40 dollars a picture, so you don’t have to make a fool of yourself, like every gremlin I want to fuck because of their instagram angles, who I run away from when I see in person…

It’s pretty obnoxious that Instagram became less of pictures people take of things, and more about these staged photoshoots of nonsense, but I guess not as obnoxious as the fact that people are doing digital retouching to their shit to perpetuate the lie…

It’s pretty obnoxious that Beyonce sings about being a single lady, while married, things about being a powerhouse feminist, while retouching her fat ass, it’s like nothing about her is legitmate…obviously…stop buying into her shit..

Beyonce is on some luxury vacation, because if you listen to her attempt at a rap song, despite being a delusional popstar from the 90s, you’ll know that her an Jay Z are a billion dollars when riding in elevators fighting with family memebers for Jay Z’s philandering, it’s not his fault he’s a music mogul, ways….ways that Beyonce accepts because people like that cheat, and more importantly, because it’s good PR for their tour they are on…

That said…she’s decided to show the world how she can awkwardly do a basic gymnastic move, one you can assume she was in when Blue Ivy was ejaculated inside her, one that reminds me of being at an all inclusive resort and the mom who drank too much decides to bust out the old high school tricks…

The fact that Beyonce think she is god. Or that she has been branded the queen. Or that she’s worth 500 million dollars. Or that she didn’t fade away like the lead singer in girl groups before her – offends me.

I feel like there is a huge flaw in the world, that she’s figured out the scam, and that people are buying into it…all because she’s an ego, who won’t just retire to raise her kid gracefully like she should, but instead releases a more hardcore album, with sluttier pics and a fitter body, in efforts to compete with one of the girls who made Beyonce’s husband rich as fuck…

I guess it’s like I said about the 80 year old I once banged, never too old to stick your dick into as long as it’s not horribly fat.

I can’t imagine anyone cares about Beyonce’s ass now that it’s had a kid and something to prove since Jay Z cheats on her with Kim Kardashian’s friends, and more importantly, since Jay Z makes more money off Rihanna than Beyonce, and Beyonce got something to prove for her ego, and that isn’t that she can make money, she has tons of that…it’s that she’s hot and dudes want to fuck her…it’s all very fucking weird…she’s old, always fat despite getting fit, but I guess her butt’s ok, even if it is attached to a horrible fucking person…

Beyonce must be going through some sort of midlife crisis that involves trying to stay relevant despite being an old mom, because these rich and famous people can never get enough fame and fortune, and they hate the idea of fading off into obscurity, even if they have enough money to last 10 lifetimes over…

So instead of just releasing music they want to release, and touring when they want to tour, allowing them time to raise their kids, and be with their husbands, and have the downtime she deserves after working 10-15 years..it’s like retire bitch…but her ego doesn’t let her, so she starved herself, and dresses like a kid, and is more famous now than she’s ever been and the whole thing would be a lot more fun to watch if her hipster look involved more nudity, not because I want to see her nude, but because I want to see everyone nude…

Beyonce playing the skinny hipster in her everyday life is really fucking confusing to me…

I mean she’s some fat, rich, diva, up on some Oprah kick who thinks she’s here to save the fucking world thanks to people sucking her dick all day…

But now she’s posting photoshopped pics of herself, with her wild and obscure “artist” hair….as she pretends she revolutionizing the world, as her fans call her queen Bee…as she is clearly the fucking devil who is evil and here to rape the minds of everyone..

Either way, I’d still let her sit on my face…and not just because she’s lost weight and is more fuckable/faceable, she’s fucking Beyonce and not letting her sit on my face would just be dumb…

Which isn’t saying much about me, I’d let Joan Rivers during a herpes outbreak, all old and unshaven, dripping what must be a 5 decade old miscarriage into my face, sit on my face…

Beyonce is the cover girl for OUT Magazine, something I assume is for gay people, who think Beyonce is so fabulous an inspiring, like some kind of gay spirit animal of fabulousness, and they got her doing a Handbra because I guess that’s what all gay dudes want to see, you know because Beyonce is a man, up on some RuPaul shit…doing some frat boy college girl shit…like it was an instagram hashtag…

The whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable, but that’s because Beyonce, makes me feel uncomfortable…you know being evil with really loyal followers who think of her as Royalty and all…

Beyonce is pretty proud of herself for losing weight…in efforts to stay competitive with Rihanna…you know all girls, even at that level of celebrity are all about winning…the only reason they are even famous is their competitive drive and ego that tells them they are better than everyone…so when they start feeling a little plus sized in comparison to the other girl in their husband’s life, the girl who makes him huge money, starvation and fitness to have one more go at being a sex symbol is the only option…and when you meet your goals…you exploit that shit and put that ass in everything you do…you post the bikini pics and you make people talk…because this window is only open for a minute…maximize your time…

Yesterday…the world was blessed with Beyonce’s Ass…at least according to Beyonce…who in her pyscho mind thinks she was sent here from heaven to bless the world…and I didn’t watch the shit…I don’t really feel like being blessed with shit this early in the morning…

I guess it’s nice to see as a mom at 40 she keeps trying to keep her husband into her tired twat…who cares