Worm is 18 months old. We’ve kept him alive thus far and cheerfully pat ourselves on the back. His incredibly resilient body took a lot of abuse and punishment from my inane innate parenting skills. I look at my fathering style as a healthy blend of unintentional tomfoolery and collegiate style hazing. “Worm, if you can make it through my method of parenting, you can join us in this club we call manhood!”

I never get anything right the first time. I shouldn’t feel bad when I screw up the experiment Worm. That’s why we’re having more than one kid! One doesn’t just hop into a car for the first time and know how to drive it, right? I’m sure the third child will be perfect!

Barring the fact that Worm really didn’t start walking much until almost 17 months and really didn’t start talking until about 2 weeks ago, he still made the cut off. Whew! With much surprise, we’ve made it through a large list of the 18-month milestones. Since you can find those boring milestones elsewhere on the web, I haven’t included them here.

You’re Better off as a Back Seat Driver, Worm. We’ll Revisit This When You’re Old Enough to Reach the Gas Pedal…