Tuesday, 4 June 2013

I DO, I DO, I DO AGAIN

[ONE FROM THE ARCHIVES TODAY AS I STILL HAVE MY HANDS FULL WITH THE POX LADENED CHILD. NEW BLOG TOMORROW!]

There is a new reality show about to hit the airwaves –
cause that is just what we need, more reality television – about a polygamist,
his three wives and their 300 kids. Okay fine, they don’t have 300 kids, but
once you move into the double digits one is tempted to stop counting.

I believe the attempt of the show is to show to the rest of
the world how normal a polygamist's life is; they love one another, do grocery shopping,
take the kids to school, you know Brady Bunch type stuff…that is if Mr. Brady
was married to Carol, Alice, and Greg’s high school math teacher. Now that
would’ve been a sitcom worth watching. According to the husband it all happened innocently
enough. He claims he just fell in love and fell in love and fell in love. From
where I come from I think that’s called cheating. I'm sure the man in question would call it semantics.

The kicker is, the wives think it’s all fine and dandy and
swear that jealousy is not something that occurs in their household. Uh huh. Okay...I’m just
not sure how that is possible to not have any jealousy. Nuclear couples have
jealousy, and you’re telling me that with that many people in a house, not to mention that many hormones, there
is none?? How about just a little… "she stole my blouse? Or she got you on
Tuesday night and I had to miss my favorite TV program;” Or, “My meatloaf is
better than hers." Call me jaded, but I just don't buy that this is all just one big happy family.

Then again, perhaps if everyone signs up for the same
adventure, they know what’s coming around every turn. And in fact, the husband, or as I have deemed
him, Mr. “I can’t Seem to Get Enough Tail” is bringing in a fourth wife and all
the current wives are eagerly anticipating it like it’s a new Labrador puppy.
Something tells me wife number four will be on toilet cleaning duty for the
first year while the other wives put their feet up and eat bon bons.

What’s even better – for him of course – is that this man
has his own little harem of women looking after him 24-7. Now there is your
answer to why polygamy exists in a patriarchal society. Why have one when you can have four – a no
brainer. The wives say they function as a well-oiled machine, a real team that
has each other’s backs – [yeah, each one wondering where to drive the knife
in]. Okay, in truth, the teamwork thing does not surprise me. My
girlfriends/sisters and I often say to one another that we wish we could raise
our children altogether as it would be a heck of a lot easier. No giving
directions on what to do, maternal instinct just kicking in, each woman knowing
what the other is thinking and being able to anticipate it far in advance– you
know, the stuff men can’t do.

I also find it curious that it’s always men that take more
than one wife (actually I think I know the answer to this). It’s so rare that
you see women with three husbands. Then again, I’m thinking it is because they
realize it would be more of a headache than a help. Three sets of boxer shorts
to pick up, three dinners to cook, three men looking at you with that blank
stare when you ask them if they have anything to say; three men to say to ‘not
tonight honey, I have a headache!’ Three men looking for their