John Kerry Has Some Real Talk for Kim Jong Un. The U.S. Secretary of State issued a strong rebuke of the North Korean leader’s posturing, saying that — spoiler alert — the U.S. would totally kick North Korea’s ass if the two nations actually went to war. (Washington Post)

Everything You Need to Know About Cicadas. The buzzing bugs are set to invade the East Coast later this spring for the first time in 17 years. If you don’t live along the eastern seaboard, feel free to engage in a bit of geographical schadenfreude. (Gizmodo)

Louis C.K. Did a Reddit AMA. And he also has a comedy special airing Saturday on HBO, so be sure to queue up your DVRs. He’s funny. (Redditvia Warming Glow)

A Look Back at the Career of Mo Rivera. The Yankees closer has returned for one final season in pinstripes following last year’s season-ending ACL tear. (Keeping Score)

What’s the Real Origin of “OK”? Apparently it got its start way back in 1839, and as with most things of this sort, Martin Van Buren is at least partly to blame. (mental_floss)

Kal Penn to Host Discovery Channel Show. The actor-turned-White House liaison-turned-actor-turned-etc. will search for America’s next great innovator on “The Big Brain Theory.” (Divanee)

Scrolldown Fug: Apparently, this is when an outfit starts out good, but then as you look down, it gets not good. Example A: Julianne Hough. (Go Fug Yourself)

A Lamborghini Police Car Exists. In Dubai, naturally. It can reach a top speed of 217 m.p.h. (which you can totally reach since it’s a police car) and has a price tage of more than half a million dollars. Plus it can help you arrest people. (The Daily What)

Did You Know that Kobe Bryant Had a Failed Rap Career? Because he totally did. This longread has all the details. (Grantland)

The Simpsons Did a Breaking Bad couch gag. And it’s as excellent as you’ve always imagined it would be. (YouTube via BuzzFeed)