Monday, 5 November 2018

SO YOU WANT TO BE A MENTAL HEALTH BLOGGER?

Are you ready to…

feel
like a failure?

There
are times where I’ve felt like a failure to my readers. When I’ve had hard days
– particularly during my relapse - I felt that I’d let everyone down by being
poorly again. I thought I’d been the poster child for mental health recovery
and now, here I was, illustrating that even the strongest of recovery’s doesn’t
last. No matter how long you go without self-harming or hearing voices, you can
still be just as vulnerable as you were when those things were happening. But feeling like that, made me realize that
others might experience that too and might find – just as I would – the knowledge
that they aren’t alone, reassuring.

make
yourself the most vulnerable you’ve ever been?

The
three times I received negative comments on I’m NOT Disordered, I was met with
responses like ‘you asked for it when you started blogging’ and ‘what do you
expect talking about mental health?’ It has taken me a long time to not see
these responses as unsupportive but more as realistic. Realistic learning
curves. It’s a hard lesson to learn that even with the best intention in
opening yourself up to the world, you have to recognize that this enables
readers the opportunity of knocking you back. But in making myself vulnerable,
I know that my readers and supporters, are genuine. They know the real me.

work
your ass off?

When
I began I’m NOT Disordered I didn’t, for one minute, consider the fact that it
might be hard work! Now that there’s more press and publicity around Bloggers, I
think it’s actually done the opposite in illustrating just how hard it is to
maintain a popular blog, and has made it appear as though all we Bloggers do is
write a post and receive few products and amazing opportunities. In fact, it’s
about a lot of late nights finding inspiration, early starts for events and
meetings, and a lot of time from your day spent glued to a laptop/iPad/device
of some sort! But when you get that opportunity, that dream collaboration… all
of that hard work is worth it!

lose
inspiration?

When
I was being discharged from Hospital I was worried that I’d have no content for
I’m NOT Disordered. I thought that since all I wrote about was the dramas of
the inpatient ward in the psychiatric hospital I’d been forced to call ‘home’
for over two years; what could I possibly write about now that I was living in
the community in a bungalow that looked like all the others on the Close? In
losing the obvious inspiration for blog content, you are forced to find it in
other places which can lead to discovering new hobbies, passions, and interests.

learn
more about yourself than you would if you were seeing a therapist?

I’ve
had quite a few people – when they’ve heard that I blog about mental health –
ask if it’s therapeutic. I tell them that it is. I’ve found myself confronting
dilemmas that seem to have been spinning around in my head since forever. In
blogging I’ve had to learn things about myself that I sometimes, wish weren’t
true. These are things that I might never have gotten from a Psychologist/Therapist
because no matter how eager you are to improve your mental health; there’ll
always be a part of you that is reserved when talking to another person. But in
learning about yourself you can find answers to questions you might’ve been
asking your entire life.

have
more responsibility than ever?

Since
starting I’m NOT Disordered I’ve learnt that in being a Blogger, I have a lot
of responsibility for my readers. Whether I like it or not. My posts – my words
– have the potential to change someone’s day. Someone’s mental health. I could
uplift them, support them, reassure them, or I could be invalidating, patronizing,
and condescending. While I like to instill in my readers a sense of responsibility
in their own actions; you can’t deny that others can have an influence/impact
on a person’s actions. But in taking responsibility on you can learn your strengths
and capabilities.

feel
like you never know enough about computers and social media?

I
remember when I first started I’m NOT Disordered and one of the girls on the
Hospital ward had to do the design of the site and make all of the links and
buttons work! When my Doctors were finally discussing discharge, I was pretty
much forced into learning how to do everything for myself. And it feels like
such an achievement and accomplishment to be able to say that I’m NOT
Disordered’s current appearance is all me! And in blogging, I’ve found
interests and passions in social media, the negative publicity that surrounds it,
and the power it has.

have
days when it’s the last thing you want to be doing?

There
are some days when I wake up and I think ‘I can’t be bothered to post anything
today’ or days when I realize that I haven’t published a blog post in a while
and I just think ‘I’m not that bothered.’ And there are days when blogging is
genuinely the last thing on my mind because I have something that takes a higher
priority – I don’t want to say is more important. But there’s something where I
think ‘I really need to be focusing on preparing for that meeting!’ Ultimately,
so long as I continue to have more days where I believe I’m living the dream; I
know I’m doing the right thing in being a Blogger. I mean, if you don’t enjoy
what you’re doing with your life then are you really living?