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Inner light

Today is the last day of my juice detox and I am actually sad it has come to an end. I thought it would be more difficult since it was programmed during my premenstrual phase but instead it has been a real eye opening.

For the past months, I've had headaches during my premenstruum which made me be in bed most of the time, just retreating in the dark, not wanting to do anything but to rest. I knew this would be probably related to my diet and I tried to improve my water intake but that wasn’t enough. I am not a big drinker so cutting alcohol wasn't a problem. I also removed my morning cup of coffee last month, it wasn't part of my 2012 resolutions that I might not even keep, it just happened. All with the intention to keep my diet clean and see if my symptoms would improve.

For the past five days, I have been drinking 4 juices a day, 3 liters of water and two cups of hot water with a slice of lemon and ginger, one in the morning and one just before going to bed. I can’t say it hasn’t been difficult, it has! But not as difficult as I though. Yes, I feel hungry and I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to tomorrow’s breakfast, but a big part of me wants to keep it clean.

I have definitely seen a different side of me, especially now that I am on my premenstrual phase, where I would usually be more moody, have tender breast, bloated belly, lower back pain and most recently, headaches. Today, after five days of juices, I feel happy, alive and mentally strong. I know my energy is coming down and I won’t be running a marathon any time soon but I’m not dragging myself out of the floor and my body is not aching at all.

I have been going through massive changes, internally and externally, but I feel centered. My senses are so alert that I can actually feel a connection between my belly, my heart and my throat. It is as if everything that is coming out of me is coming from this centered power, inner voice, inner light and it feels amazing. I feel very in tune with who I am and very intuitive too.

Don’t get me wrong, I love food, cooking it and eating it, so it has been a real torture to smell food around me. Every time I do, my stomach rumbles but I have kept going, after all five days is not that much!

It has been amazing realizing how much food affects us in a positive or negative way and how it can certainly affect our cycle. During my juice detox, I kept receiving message from the company I did the detox from, on their messages they would say things like ‘well done, you’re nearly there; make sure you reward yourself today’. My first reaction was: How can I reward myself if I can’t eat?!... luckily, my partner overheard me thinking out loud and he wisely pointed out that there are other ways to reward yourself other than food!

I mean, I knew that, right? but probably I had not seen it so obvious and so clear. I thought I wasn’t the sort of person who eats for comfort but because I am actually hungry. Clearly my subconscious betrayed me and it seems I am. So even if five days is not a long time and I thought my previous diet wasn’t bad, after just five days without solid food, I feel more centered and in control of my emotions and my power. I feel my belly full of fire burning but not burning in a out of control kind of way but rather burning gently lighting my whole being.

For most women, the premenstrual phase is the hardest to manage, it comes full of emotions, body aches, cravings and so on. But what percentage of theses are our true emotions and what comes from our food?

After these five days, it is clear to me food plays a major role, I mean, it’s kind of obvious and you're all probably thinking “I knew that already” but notice it properly, see exactly what you are eating, what are your cravings during this phase. Would it be that it is easier to reach for food rather than dealing with the emotions that are coming up? Be aware of your intake of coffee, sugar, salt, alcohol, drugs, etc.

So, what was my treat to myself? I filled a warm bath with epsom salts, turned off the bathroom lights and lit a red candle instead. I spent more than an hour in the bath meditating in the dark, soaking in powerful emotions. I am on day 30th of my cycle on the board of bleeding and I have had no pre-menstrual symptoms other than wanting to retreat and I want to keep it this way. From this centered place of love and light, from my womb to your womb, I wish the same for you.

5 comments:

Thank your for sharing so detailled your experiences. I have never fasted so I really enjoyed reading your experiences. I will keep them in mind while eploring my cycles because I experience some cylcles with a lightly difficult premenstrual phase and some totally easy (in the past it has been much harder) but I have not completely found out what everything influences it. But its some kind of a measuring instrument: In really flowing months of happiness, flow and healthy behaviour its wonderful and with more stress and more unhealthy behaviour it gets worse. But I didn´t take eating so much into account. So I will try to find out more for me. Ine other thing I learned is that my premenstrual phase and beginning of period is kind of review time where always important emotions (that I didn´t handle important enough) come up. That aligns with my todays blog posts about emotions...Thank you for your great post and input! It keeps my mind busy, trying to integrate. Great stuff.

It's interesting how our brains can think one thing ("I'm not an emotional eater") and our bodies/subconscious knows the other. My own brain claims I'm not an emotional eater, either, but I know that my default when I get bored is to grab a snack. Who knows what kind of influence this has on my own cycle? Gee! Maybe someday I'll try one of these fasts, too, and see what happens. Thank you for sharing your experiences!