A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…

The State of Alabama Football

…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…

There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!

What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?

Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…

Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…

“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”

…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.

In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!

In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:

Hollowed-Outadjective, hollower, hollowest.1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere.2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface.3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes.4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice.5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory.6. insincere or false: hollow compliments.7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat.noun8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity.9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow.10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle.verb (used with object)11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log.12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.

Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…

Freaking Hollowed-Out!

On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:

“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.

There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.

We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”

There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:

“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”

OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!

Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!

21. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!

In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…

Overall: 6 – 21

CUSA: 2 – 14

….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?

Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!

22. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!

With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!

Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….

10 – 2

…final regular season record at the worst!

Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!

23. Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!

Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!

Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…

Overall: 4 – 11

MWC: 2 – 6

….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…

…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!

Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?

Maybe so.

24. Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!

Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…

6 Wins in the Regular Season

….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.

Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!

25. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.

BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.

LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!

26. Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:

Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…

2013: 4 – 82014: 2 – 92015: 1 – 2

…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….

…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!

27. Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.

Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…

…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!

28. Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.

Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…

Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn

Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville

Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed

Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville

Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season

Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville

Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:

Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?

That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…

BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!

….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>

Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!

Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!

No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!

29. Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…

Overall: 3 – 12

CUSA: 2 – 6

….in two years on the job at FAU.

Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:

At CharlotteRiceMarshallAt UTEPFIUAt Western KentuckyMiddle TennesseeAt FloridaAt Old Dominion

Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?

Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!

30. Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.

Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….

OK…let’s get to the Post Week 2 – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches which means bringing in again the Late Great Johnny Cash!

11. Willie Taggart, South Florida – South Florida looked OK at times against Florida State on Saturday BUT the Seminoles didn’t look very motivated in that game in the first half which means it’s hard to judge USF’s effort in Tallahassee BUT that will not be the case this coming Saturday when South Florida plays a very beatable team in Maryland in College Park, MD with the Terps coming off an upset loss to Bowling Green.

With an overall record of…

7 – 19

….on the board in his third season at South Florida Willie Taggart needs some wins and as we look at the rest of USF’s schedule….

At Maryland Memphis Syracuse At UConn SMU At Navy At East Carolina Temple Cincinnati At UCF

…we see NO Damn reason why USF does not win at least 5 of their last 6 games and get bowl eligible in 2015!

We are sick of seeing you on the Hot Seat Willie Taggart so get off your ass and get your team ready to play and beat Maryland Willie!

12. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss team got their CUPCAKE win over Austin Peay on Saturday by a score of 52 – 6 and now comes a HUGE football game for the future of Monken in Hattiesburg as the Golden Eagles travel on the road to play Texas State which is a game that USM should win based upon the history of both of these football programs. With a game at Nebraska lined-up for Week 4 a win against Texas State is a MUST for Todd Monken and Southern Miss in Week 3 and a loss in this spot will just mean….

The Heat will just get HOTTER for Todd Monken!

13. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and his Miami Hurricanes got the win they had to have over Florida Atlantic last Friday night and now the REAL football season and a very tough schedule begins for the Canes in a run of games that will determine Al Golden’s future in South Florida.

Check-out Miami’s remaining schedule with the Canes now sitting at 2 – 0:

Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech Clemson At Duke Virginia At North Carolina Georgia Tech At Pitt

Our contacts in South Florida who admittedly aren’t exactly tied into the Miami football program since they live in West Palm Beach and Jupiter, Florida and play professional golf for a living tell us that anything less than…

9 Wins in 2015

…and Al Golden is DONE at Miami which means Al Golden needs his Miami team to win 7 of their last 10 games and since this is Miami we are talking about here IF Al Golden can’t get that 9 wins he should be DONE in Coral Gables!

14. Trent Miles, Georgia State – In a match-up of two of the worst teams in FBS college football a hearty Congratulations are in order to Trent Miles on the Georgia State football team with a win over a Pitiful New Mexico State team on Saturday! Here’s the BAD news for Trent Miles and Georgia State…..their next game is…

At Oregon!

This is Trent Miles third season at Georgia State and we are looking for a “jump” of some kind over the ONE game that GSU won in Miles first two seasons at GSU and with these games remaining to be played…..

At Oregon Liberty Appalachian State At Ball State2 At Arkansas State La – Lafayette At Texas State South Alabama Troy At Georgia Southern

…we see No Damn Reason at all why Georgia State doesn’t win FOUR-plus games in 2015 and with that we can only say to Trent Miles…

….which in most of the last glorious 100-plus years of Texas football would have meant about as much as a tumble weed blowing through the west Texas plains and now we get back to football for the Horns with a decent Cal team traveling to Austin in what is clearly…

The Biggest Game of Charlie Strong’s Coaching Career!

IF Texas does lose to Cal on Saturday and drops to 1 – 2 in non-conference play with the Big 12 Conference schedule beginning a week later with a game against Oklahoma State there is a very good chance that Texas does NOT get to 6 wins in 2015 and if that happens then about ANYTHING could happen in Austin come December including Charlie Strong being written a BIG check to go find something else to do with his life on this Earth.

On a somewhat related subject Scout.com’s Chip Brown is continuing to do some great reporting on the Complete Freaking Disaster that has been Texas athletic director Steve Patterson’s tenure in Austin….

As for who should be the next AD at Texas we know someone who would be a GREAT and Helluva AD for Texas especially in the Disaster that Steve Patterson has created in Austin and although we are hesitant to nominate this sitting AD for the Texas job because we don’t want to hurt his chances BUT if we were running the University of Texas we would be hiring as new Texas AD….

16. Ron Caragher, San Jose State – With a loss to Air Force in Colorado Springs on Saturday Ron Caragher’s San Jose State team dropped to 1 – 1 on the year and Caragher’s win/loss records at SJSU in three years at the school now stand at:

Overall: 10 – 16

MWC: 7 – 10

Sorry…the above win/loss records are NOT going to get the job done even at San Jose State and from what we have heard from the San Jose area Ron Caragher needs 6 wins in 2015 to return as the head coach of the Spartans in 2016 and with this schedule remaining…

At Oregon State Fresno State At Auburn At UNLV San Diego State New Mexico BYU At Nevada At Hawaii Boise State

….we see No Damn Reason at all why San Jose State shouldn’t be able to win….

5 of their last 10 games

…and with that in mind get to work Ron Caragher!

17. Norm Chow, Hawaii – No one thought that Hawaii had any chance to beat Ohio State in Columbus BUT we did expect the Warriors to at least put a few points up on the board instead of a big fat ZERO and now returning home Norm Chow needs to regroup his team and make sure they get win over FCS team UC Davis this coming Saturday.

With NO winning seasons in his first three years on the job at Hawaii Norm Chow REALLY needs to lead the Warriors to a bowl game in 2015 and that means Chow needs to find 6 more wins out of their remaining 11 games:

UC Davis At Wisconsin At Boise State San Diego State At New Mexico At Nevada Air Force At UNLV Fresno State San Jose State La. Monroe

Hell, if Norm Chow and Hawaii can’t win 6 of their last 11 games then why in the Hell would Norm Chow remain the head coach at Hawaii?

There is no good answer to the above question!

18. George O’Leary, UCF – Several Coaches Hot Seat members got to see UCF play Stanford in person on Saturday night on The Farm and their impression of UCF was….

UCF is mediocre at best and hardly even coached at worst!

Oh, but the above makes Perfect Damn Sense with UCF head coach George O’Leary worrying about coming the permanent AD at UCF instead of coaching his football team and No Damn Surprise UCF has started the 2015 season off at…

0 – 2

….with losses to FIU and Stanford and now UCF gets a CUPCAKE game against Furman before playing in a…

Hot Seat Coach vs. Hot Seat Coach

….match-up in Columbia, South Carolina with O’Leary facing off against the increasingly embattled Old Ball Coach…YEP Old Ball Coach….Steve Spurrier!

Who loses when UCF plays South Carolina in two weeks or so?

The poor folks who are the stadium is who loses when UCF plays South Carolina on September 26 in Columbia!

19. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – South Carolina looked very Damn average against North Carolina in Week 1 and in Week 2 the Gamecocks looked totally out-of-sorts at times against Kentucky and even worse Steve Spurrier…

Looked Old

….which brings to mind The Byrds song from when Steve Spurrier was still a student and football player at the University of Florida…

Turn, Turn, Turn

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

Readers of the Bible…not Donald Trump for Damn sure…will recognize the lyrics of Turn, Turn, Turn which are almost verbatim from the Book of Ecclesiastes verse 3 1 – 8 and the TRUTH is barring a major miracle Steve Spurrier’s legendary coaching career is OVER and that TRUTH could be displayed for everyone to see with South Carolina traveling to Athens on Saturday to play the Georgia Bulldogs.

No doubt Mark Richt will not run-up the score on the Old Ball Coach if things get out-of-hand in Athens on Saturday night and for Damn sure Steve Spurrier will know full-well or not if Mark Richt is taking it easy against his old foe and that reality will kill the Old Ball Coach worse than anything else in the world!

20. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Even before starting Notre Dame quarterback Malik Zaire got hurt the Hapless Virginia Cavaliers had the Irish on the ropes and if not for yet another Total Collapse of UVA football under Mike London it would be Brian Kelly sitting on one of the Hottest Seats in the country right now which is truly another episode of the Luck of the Irish with this “Luck” being Totally Incompetent Coaching by Notre Dame’s opponent!

Up next for Notre Dame…

Georgia Tech at home and we await to see what kind of “Luck” the Irish will get this week to beat the Yellow Jackets because no doubt Paul Johnson will do something STUPID as well to give away this game to the Irish!

Let’s take a quick look at Notre Dame’s remaining schedule and guess how many wins the Irish will have in 2015 now sitting at 2 – 0:

Our guess…Notre Dame wins EIGHT games in 2015 and if the Irish only win EIGHT games in 2015 Brian Kelly WILL BE FIRED shortly after the Stanford game on November 28….PERIOD…and a sitting NFL coach who happens to be Catholic will be the next head football coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

If you don’t think time flies this is the NINTH college football season that Coaches Hot Seat will be…what exactly?

Throwing out our opinions from the peanut gallery on the job status of college and now NFL head coaches and generally being the all-around “Shit-Disturbers” that our wives love so much?

Yep…that’s about it and to think this entire Coaches Hot Seat “thing” started with seven guys sitting around a table in the bar the Balboa Café in the Marina section of San Francisco in the Fall of 2006 talking about how in the Hell they were going to get Walt Harris’ sorry ass fired as the head coach of the Stanford football team!

Hell, let’s end this trip down memory lane and get to the subject at hand which is what College Football Head Coaches are on the Hot Seat at the end of Week 1 of the 2015 College Football season! Geez…that felt very Damn good to type that out and with the memories of Week 1 dancing in the heads of Coaches Hot Seat members and college football fans everywhere let’s bring the Late Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling!

1. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – No doubt…Purdue played very hard against a very good Marshall team on Sunday…BUT…is anyone going to argue that a coach in his third season coaching a Big Ten Conference football team…

Darrell Hazell – Purdue

…should lose to a Conference USA team even if that CUSA team is very well coached and a Top 50 team in the country?

NO….no one should argue that it was OK that Purdue lost to Marshall on Sunday with a head coach in his third year on the job and thus that is why Darrell Hazell now sits on the…

No. 1 Hot Seat!

Up next for Hazell and Purdue…

Indiana State

…and then Virginia Tech at home which is a game that in our opinion Purdue can and should win and in a few weeks and thus the Purdue Boilermakers should be….

2 – 1

….when they host Bowling Green on September 26.

Keep coaching these kids up Darrell!

2. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Really Kevin Wilson? Really?

In Kevin Wilson’s FIFTH season as the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers football team IU was only able to beat FCB Southern Illinois at home by a score of…

48 – 47

….and that is a Southern Illinois team that put up a record of…

6 – 6

…in 2014!

Really Kevin Wilson?

Here’s the bad news for Kevin Wilson and Indiana…the rest of the Hoosiers non-conference slate after the close win over the Salukis:

FIU – Which just beat UCF

Western Kentucky – Which just beat Vanderbilt

At Wake Forest – Which isn’t that good BUT is sure the Hell better than Southern Illinois!

YES…Kevin Wilson’s head coaching career should be flashing before his eyes right now because it’s on the verge of extinction if the past continues into the future in Bloomington!

3. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – The good news is that Iowa State beat Northern Iowa by a score of 38 – 7 on Saturday and the bad news is that means about as much as…

A Pinto Bean rolling across the heartland of America right now!

…which means the 2015 college football season actually begins for Paul Rhoads and Iowa State this coming Saturday in their home game against the Iowa Hawkeyes!

With both head coaches in Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz coming into this game on the Hot Seat the Winning Coach will…

Have the HEAT turned down a bit

..and the Losing Coach can be assured…

His ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!

Anyone else ever seen a prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland?

It isn’t a pretty sight at all and thus why we recommend to BOTH Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz they BOTH win this game which when one thinks about it pretty much assures that either Rhoads or Ferentz’s…

Ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!

….come next Monday morning!

Oh…Paul Rhoads record against Iowa in six seasons at Iowa State is…

2 – 4

…which is a winning percentage of .333% which is not all that different than Rhoads overall winning percentage coaching the Cyclones which now sit at .395%!

4. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Score from Saturday’s game:

Florida – 61 NMSU – 13

Doug Martin’s record at New Mexico State:

4 – 21

Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!

Enough said on New Mexico State!

5. Mike London, Virginia – In the South when Southerners are really feeling sorry for your ass but in reality they really don’t give a Damn about your predicament they will say something like….

“Well, just bless your heart.”

We are not going to say…

“Well, just bless your heart.”

…to Virginia head coach Mike London after his Cavaliers got blasted 34 – 16 by UCLA on Saturday because we truly would like to see Mike London succeed at UVA but then how can anyone look at the following records for Mike and not put London’s ass on the Hot Seat?

Overall: 23 – 29 ACC: 11 – 29

If the above continues in 2015 and thus can keep someone employed at the University of Virginia we will be applying to UVA soon for a job because you evidently can fail like a Sorry Son of a Bitch and make Millions of Dollars a year at the school that Thomas Jefferson founded!

Oh..up next for Virginia….

Notre Dame at home!

“Well, just bless Mike London’s heart,” Notre Dame fans around America are now saying in unison!

6. Trent Miles, Georgia State – Score from Saturday’s game:

Charlotte – 23 Georgia State – 20

Trent Miles record at Georgia State:

1 – 24

Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!

Enough said on Georgia State!

7. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Southern Miss played a decent game against Mississippi State for about a half BUT we nor anyone else with a working brain gave Todd Monken and his Golden Eagles much of a chance to beat the Bulldogs which means there is yet another loss on the board and that leave Monken’s records in his third season on the job in Hattiesburg at…

Overall: 4 – 21

Conference: 2 – 14

YES…Larry Fedora did win 12 games in the 2011 season at Southern Miss and now over the last three seasons plus Southern Miss has won….

4 Football Games!

Shocking…just Damn Shocking!

8. Charlie Strong, Texas – It’s one thing in your second year on the job at Texas to take your football team to South Bend, Indiana and lose to Notre Dame.

There is no shame in losing to Notre Dame after all BUT in Charlie Strong’s second year on the job at Texas Strong took his Longhorns to South Bend and lost…

38 – 3

….in a performance where…

The Texas Offense did not exist

The Texas Defense did not exist

The Texas Special Teams barely existed

…which makes us wonder here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Just what in the Hell has Charlie Strong and his football coaches been doing since the end of the 2014 football season?

The answer to that question is evidently NOTHING AT ALL!

On top of that Texas has a QB that would be lucky to run SIXTH string on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag-Football team who from where we sit has NO DAMN ABILITY to lead anyone to do anything which really makes us wonder what exactly is going on at Texas right now because it may be the case that…

Charlie Strong and the Texas assistant football coaches…

Don’t Have A Freaking Clue!

Now at 0 – 1 here is what Texas has left on the schedule in 2015:

Rice California Oklahoma State At TCU Oklahoma Kansas State At Iowa State Kansas At West Virginia Texas Tech At Baylor

Hell…there is a REAL chance that Texas….YES Texas…IF the Longhorns play like they did against Notre Dame will…

NOT win another football game in 2015!

Memo to Charlie Strong: If your Texas football team loses to Rice and California and you then lose to Oklahoma State, TCU and Oklahoma you will be fired before the Iowa State game so here’s a thought for you Charlie…

We would recommend your football team actually show-up against a Rice team that checking the Owls roster does not have ONE player on their team that Texas recruited!

YES…this Saturday’s game against Rice at home in Austin is the BIGGEST game of Charlie Strong’s coaching career because with a loss in this spot to the Owls it will only be a matter of WHEN and not IF Charlie Strong will be fired in Austin so we would recommend someone on the Texas coaching staff get the attention of the Texas football players before Saturday!

9. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and Miami did what they had to do in Week 1 and beat Bethune-Cookman by a score of 45 – 0 and now the 2015 college football season begins for Al Golden and Miami with a trip to play FAU in Boca Raton in a game that Al Golden and Miami…

CANNOT LOSE!

Lose to FAU with Nebraska and a game at Cincinnati left on the non-conference schedule before starting ACC play at Florida State and Al Golden will be in a Helluva HOT spot for the rest of the 2015 college football season!

10. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – In a home game against Western Kentucky that Derek Mason and Vanderbilt HAD TO WIN the Commodores lost to WKU and now Derek Mason is really in a Helluva spot with Georgia coming to Nashville this Saturday. We will say that Vanderbilt looked better on defense and better on offense against Western Kentucky than in the 2014 season BUT the margin for error is very small for Derek Mason and he will probably need 4 or maybe 5 wins to return for the 2016 season and with that let’s take a look at what Vanderbilt has left on the schedule in 2015:

Georgia Austin Peay At Ole Miss At Middle Tennessee At South Carolina Missouri At Houston At Florida Kentucky Texas A&M At Tennessee

Geez….can Derek Mason and Vanderbilt really find four or maybe five wins playing the above remaining games?

We would be STUNNED if Vanderbilt wins four or five games in 2015 is our answer to that question!