Archive for the ‘Please explain’ Category

I stumbled over this infomercial in the early hours of the morning. It would appear the producers have sodomised the once great Mr. T, reducing him to a one-line buffoon for the amusement of old ladies and Z-grade infomercial hosts named Darla.

Here are the highlights (watch for the overexcited golden girls lookalike as Mr T enters the studio)

I hate it when a party gets canceled! I work hard enough to deserve to get drunk on the weekends and forget my name! It grinds my fuckin’ gears when someone bursts my bubble for some horse shit fuckin’ reason.

In happier times, before their names were conjoined, Tom was a snappy cocktail waiter and Katie was a frumpy, yet kinda hot virgin. I apologise in advance for using the term TomKat.

But how things have changed. As the flagship couple for the worlds most blatant cult, TomKat represents a strange blend of pseudo religious harmony and nutbar craziness. I’m still not convinced that she hasn’t been brainwashed into the whole deal with the promise of huge sums of money, but then i’m a broke ass blogger from Melbourne, what would i know?

By the sounds of it, Bernie isn’t feeling particularly happy just now, which may have something to do with the 150 years in prison he has to look forward to, not that he’s expected to live more than 10-15 years anyway, since he’s 71 right now. (more…)

One day, these woman will be mothers. presumably to multiple partners.

Also check the hilarious comments section where one dude says “I went to high school with these girls…kinda saw it coming “. I know a few girls from high school that might be doing the same thing, prahly on more of a back room of the local R.S.L tip though.

Shout out to ****** *****. Hahaha!

Who will pay for your taxi? Are you fucking kidding me? You ain’t nothin’ but a hoochie mama!

I’ve never really associated myself, or anyone i know, with the “MTV Generation”, which is largely due to the distinct lack of MTV in Australia, but considering the choices on this list, i’m glad.

Taking the parochial nature of these kind of polls into account, i can forgive a slight bias towards UK acts, but how does Craig David get 2nd place, and the fucking Arctic Monkeys? The order of this list is all messed up, and i can think of a crate load of albums that should be on there. The only conclusion i can draw is that the poll voting, music listening, UK residing, MTV Generation are cretins. No offence.

So hip-hop fashion has finally taken its toll on the youth of Mooloolaba, although lets face it, these days low slung jeans aren’t even really hip-hop – just ask ‘Yeezy. Trent Wroe, (although unconfirmed as a hip-hop fashionista) copped a $250 fine after ‘accidentally’ dropping his jeans in front of a female police officer.