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If the grinch did Christmas’s…..

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vening bloggers! Hope we’ve all had a spiffing new years.

Undeniably for a freelancing filly like me, it’s a time that provokes the very worst of my being. As soon as I here the first Slade mash up in Tesco; the cynism starts to seep through my pores. Spreading through my soul like spores of raging bacteria, that jingle all the way. And then comes the night terror’s. Those vidid visuals of Saint Nick, swanning off with his swag bag, full of my years earnings. Leaving behind a stocking stuffed, full of HM revenue ‘I owe you’s’.

It quite honestly is, the most hideous time of the year.

That said, my christmas tree is still very much erect. I have to admit, I do rather like the way the twinkly lights and crowning brachiosaurus make me feel. That…. and the simple fact I’ve now filled the only pocket of storage, that it usually cares to inhabit, for the other 11 perfectly good months; with extra hordes of shite we really dont need, that family and friends clearly thought we where desperate for, this December.

I think ill just shove it in the bath and pull the curtain across….At least then my baubles will be all lemony fresh in time for next year; and there’ll be no suicide missions, when I find a baby sized ball of wires, that you need a degree in Rubix cube-ry to untangle. I mean no one ever really pulls your shower curtain back anyway… Unless your into a little Psycho role play? But rather than of weapons of kitchen draw-fare, simply surprise them by wrapping them up in the cold wet curtain. Its seriously novel. They’ll flap around like a scolded penguins and probably pull the curtain pole down tumbling too. Honestly, they just love it! And it always come most appreciated around 7am on a Monday morning, in winter.

*Disclaimer… Possibly not advisable if your spouse is 60+

*Double disclaimer…. Possibly not advisable if this person is NOT your spouse and/or in hostels. You may get arrested or murdered.

Happy new year… Here’s a Yuletide shimmy, a few weeks later than it ought to be.