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5 years

Wow! I can't believe how many ungrateful people there are. It's tacky to have a registry for a wedding just like it would be tacky to have a registry for your birthday party. It's just telling everyone you expect them to buy you a gift. Why not send a Christmas wishlist out to everyone you send a Christmas card too. If it is something you don't want then give it to someone else who will appreciate it. Wedding gifts used to be intended for couples just leaving their parents house and starting a new life together with barely anything. It sounds to me like most of these people just invite people to their wedding to collect a bunch of presents.

Well, MY MOM always told me that it's the thought that counts.
I guess you can apply it to the thought the bride and groom have when registering and the thought the gift giver has when they choose the gift to give.
It's unfortunate that people are not more sincere. They may not even admit it to themselves, but they want to be invited to events like weddings and parties, so they can enjoy the food and be entertained. They really should be there to wish the bride and groom well, encourage them and be a part of the community. Of course it should be enjoyable, but the reason for a wedding is the bride and groom are announcing their intentions to the community...
Then, of course, there ARE greedy couples who start thinking of the loot...and they might not have started that way but end up there. Let's all try to be better and it helps to stop and think about your motives. It is the thought behind the deed that sets our intention - we need more unconditional love in this world.

5 years

I put together a registry for my wedding with all kinds of stuff on it that I want for my home and kitchen. My Dad actually said his friends commented that it was tacky that I registered for anything less than $50! I did some adjusting (like I took off some of the kitchen items that cost $10.00 and below that I can just go buy for myself), but I am more confused than ever about registry etiquette. Also we are not registering for china because we don't need it -- my fiance's mom has a set that she wants to pass down to us. And my parents have actually had people complain to them that we aren't registered for china! Is it wrong not to register for china?!

5 years

Only selfish and greedy people are looking for gifts

5 years

I have been to four weddings in the last two and a half months. And I've seen three scenarios. 3 of 4 couples had already been living together for more than a year.
1. The couple that had not lived together registered for very practical, durable home goods (mixer, pots & pans, good sheets, kitchen stuff ...) at all price levels. Nearly everything they registered for cost less than $50 and many items $25 or less. Good manners ... no presumption that their attendees HAD to spend a fortune on them.
2. Two couples who already had homes and had lived together for 1-2 years already actually asked people NOT to buy them gifts. They both stated specifically "Your presence is our present!". One said that if someone really felt they needed to come gift-in-hand, then a contribution to their honeymoon fund would be wonderful. The other said Lowes gift cards as they had just bought a home and wanted to do some renovations.
3. The other couple who lived together ... and mind you, had a house full of furnishings, registered for luxe items and nothing on the registry was less than $100. Crystal and china and 1/2 the williams sonoma catalog. Now, they aren't socialites or anything ... she's a secretary and he's a teacher! And their peers and family were attending the wedding ... They forgot that they can't afford that stuff and neither can their friends and family!!
I just think registries have gotten all out of whack. it used to be for specific china patterns and whatnot so they would have a complete set of the same items. Those gifts were given in parts ... one person would gift the dishes, another the salad plates, or someone would gift the matching completer set ... this was not for every couple, only those of a certain social stature.
Crazy stuff. It's gotten way out of hand and some of the comments I read before were just greedy! I can't imagine expecting people to bring gifts. Gifts are nice, but not necessary. That's not why you invite people to your wedding, birthday, or shower ... if you that's why you do, then you should rethink your event all together.

Katie, many people WANT to buy the newlyweds gifts... and rather than getting them something they don't need or already have, they can look on the registry.
The registry should, of course, contain items in all price ranges (under $25, $25-$50, $75-$100, $100+) and if you hate everything on the registry, then don't buy anything from it... hell, don't buy anything at all.
But I would rather get the newlyweds something they WANT and NEED instead of giving them a toaster or towels that don't match their decor.

I think registries are ridiculous. It just shows how greedy people are. I don't need to buy you a $200 foot massager or a $250 shower head. China, silver and maybe wine glasses is the most I would register for.

6 years

I think it is extremely RUDE to EXPECT a gift from the registry. A gift is a gift! ...some brides today are just ungrateful greedy snots! I am appalled at some of the comments here. The registry was intended to be a guide for guests to get that perfect gift. IF you look up etiquette rules, it states that you should never include a gift registry note with the wedding invitation. That is just saying that you EXPECT to receive a gift. ---Why not just stand at the church doors with your hands out for the gifts as the guest arrive? GEESH!

And only re-gifters give impersonal gifts that clearly don't correlate with the registry-i.e. mismatched towels-if you can see what towels they want, why on earth would you think it is nice to give them a new color/design scheme? Only if it was a re-gift or discounted 90%. That's just annoying!

6 years

Amen. Only greedy brides are so particular about what gifts people give them.

6 years

I am actually quite shocked at how selfish many of the comments sound concerning registries. First of all, I think that it is inappropriate to even imply that you expect gifts. It is my hope that people would invite others to their wedding because they appreciate them and would like them to share that special occasion with them. It is not mandatory for people to give you a gift. They give them because they care about you and would like you to have something they personally picked out and thought you would like or use. I am not opposed to registries completely. However, I believe they serve as a guide for some things that you could use or would like if a kind person wants to buy you a gift. If you end up with three toasters or 4 electric kettles, return them to the store or give them to some poor person who doesn't have one. Just be thankful you have one and somebody cared enough about you to give you one. It is not other people's responsibility to outfit your whole house for you.

After watching my brother and sister-in-law sort through countless mismatched kitchen towels and 3 different sized crock pots, I will always use the registry. (I wasn't one of the ones who didn't in the first place) The bride and groom take the time to set up the registry in the first place; and unless you have a really good reason, i.e. you can't afford anything off that registry, then there is no reason not to use it.

I forgot to say I was wondering if this poll was trying to get at the difference between a wedding gift and a shower gift. I know I'm more likely to get something personal as a shower gift and just buy off the registry for a wedding gift.

I typically buy off the registry (although for a shower for a close friend I might give something more personal that I know she'd like).
I would never consider someone who gave me a present rude, though, regardless of whether it was from my registry or not. I don't think it's rude if someone gives me a birthday present that's not from my amazon wish list.

When I got married, it really annoyed me how many people didn't use our resgistry. I actually just ran into the same problem with my baby shower. We registered for certain items for a reason, and we ended up having to return have the gifts people did get us so that we could actually get the stuff we needed and wanted!

After recently planning our wedding, I am baffled by how many people didn't use our registry. We ended up with so many crock pots and food processers and other random things we have no need or space for and cannot return. I will NEVER buy another bride something not on her registry -- DUH that is the point. I don't understand why people don't get it!

Well, its extremely rude to go completely off registry without a GOOD reason (i.e. passing down a family heirloom etc.)
However, because I also find it very important to give more personal gifts I always do both. I always give something wine related off the registry, and wine bottles with poems relating to the couples life. Most poems are generic for any couple (i.e. First New Home, First Anniversary etc.) and the bottles should be opened and use when that occasion arises. There are six wine bottles and poems, and I make one more personal (i.e. last day of medical school, passing the bar exam), and then one bottle of grape juice for First Baby for them to open and drink when they find out they are expecting.
It's always been a big hit, its super personal, and the actual "gift" be it a wine rack, wine glasses, etc. is something they registered for. (Downside is its time consuming, usually expensive, but I love giving gifts so its worth it!)

i usually give money or jewelry. i know that some, not all but some brides i personally know that add filler expensive stuff on registries only to return it later to get store credit for something that looks silly to put on a registry lol (like a his and her watch set from fortunoff). why not just give cash and make their life easier lol

off the registry. when we got married we got some lovely gifts that we didn't register for, and now 12 years later i'm finally admitting that they just won't ever have a place in our home. an expensive cashmere throw in lavender, a beige kitchen clock with herbs pressed into the sides, etc. we're cleaning out the garage and the gifts pop up one by one.
there's a reason people ask for certain things, so if i am to be remembered for giving the serving bowls; so be it :)