Re: The Girls Only Thread

Yea, I wouldn't say you should stop dating someone just because they ask... but certainly if the persist after you've declined to answer.

Tom, sadly I'm not hiding anything, I just find that the answer is usually too few or too many compared to the other person's expectations. I'm guilty of having a negative reaction too, despite how liberal and sex-positive I'd like to think I am. I am fine not knowing, sometimes having the information does change my impression of the person a little.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

The only time I would want to know is if I'm someone's first or second or something, because I feel like that's a big responsibility in terms of how much weight the partner might put on the event, and you deserve to give the person you're seeing a heads up.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

From my experience, anybody who asked the question before we had sex was cut quickly and anybody who needed extraordinary specifics after was to be cut as well. Jim and I didn't have the talk until we were a good year into our relationship, and luckily he had a bit of a history too.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

I don't remember having the conversation with anyone that was casual, it always came up once it was a full relationship. Which never really made sense. So it was ok to fuck me without knowing, but now that you think you love me we need to talk about this?

Re: The Girls Only Thread

Originally Posted by Courtney

Well, if she was smart, she would invite me out for a friendly coffee or a beer and pick my brain about what I'm doing in terms of cover letters or interviews or whatever that she is not. And then she would steal that tactic and beat me at my own game.

Do you know how many people would ACTUALLY share this information with their peers, though, Courtney? I think you are the exception because you are nice. Most people, especially in grad school, are mean.

In my program, no one would share contacts for their freelancing gigs for fear of getting forced out/losing writing opportunities. Ditto on internship connections or advice. At least some people are upfront about it instead of being jerks; I had a girl tell me that she didn't want any USC competition for her KPCC internship when she reapplied for the following semester. Fair enough, I guess

Re: The Girls Only Thread

I lost track. That doesn't mean there has been a countless number, I just stopped keeping track.

And I have to agree that hearing a too-low number is far more concerning than too-high. I am not interested in inexperienced guys and worry that limited sexual experience means they would be more likely to be clingy or expect a serious relationship. There have only been a couple of times I got upset over a guy's 'number' being too high, and those guys had slept with... hundreds of people.

If I'm to be honest, the real reason I got upset over those two was not because I was put off by them sleeping with a lot of people, but that while happily participating in casual sex, I didn't like the thought that they'd forget me and I'd be one of those hundreds of girls whose name they couldn't remember. (What can I say? I was young). They didn't forget about me, so I stopped worrying about it. At the time, I guess I didn't imagine that I'd forget about the people I'd slept with. Oops.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

Originally Posted by kitt kat

Do you know how many people would ACTUALLY share this information with their peers, though, Courtney? I think you are the exception because you are nice. Most people, especially in grad school, are mean.

In my program, no one would share contacts for their freelancing gigs for fear of getting forced out/losing writing opportunities. Ditto on internship connections or advice. At least some people are upfront about it instead of being jerks; I had a girl tell me that she didn't want any USC competition for her KPCC internship when she reapplied for the following semester. Fair enough, I guess

I guess the difference is that I genuinely believe that the working world is not a zero sum game. Just because I'm working at company X doesn't mean that one of my classmates can't also work there. Moreover, if I am able to connect a solid applicant with a solid position it's win-win: I look good to the company because I've helped them to find a kick ass worker, and I gain a stronger connection with the worker and can tap them in the future if I ever need help with anything. This sort of stuff tends to grow exponentially: the more you can help people out, the better off you're going to be in the long run.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

Responding to a question from a viewer, Robertson said that married men "have a tendency to wander" and it is the spurned wife's job to focus on the positive and make sure the home is so enticing, he doesn't want to stray.

Re: The Girls Only Thread

I usually make more money than the person I'm dating. So if I'm the one paying for a house, for food on the table and for his clothes, does that mean that I can cheat on my husband if he doesn't make the house look pretty? Sounds reasonable.