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For such a born and bred Bronx kid to wind up out in the sticks in South Carolina is one thing. But to write poetry about the country life? I guess you just never know! Below find some of my works that I am considering for an upcoming chap book. Also please, if you have been enjoying my work please consider helping with any amount at my GoFundMe. This really is all I have until we can figure out exactly what can be done to fix my back. As you can see it has just been a meager amount over the whole life of the campaign but all our savings and anything that could be sold have been exhausted with several months left until my disability hearing is scheduled. Enough said. Enjoy the writes.

Carnival Craze

sour the sweetness knocking gently
as windows rolled down feel a sniff
ahead now neon lights circle the sky
parked the station wagon in a field
smiles falling out the old rear door
pink fluffy sugar whipped on a stick

Carrot Seeds

tiny the seed of a carrot
rolling off my dirty hands
after sun and water shines
a little green pop appears

when the green grew tall
I had to check have a peek
so poke around did my hand
just a skinny root now ruined

another day another check
months end the crop is gone
let the seeds grow undisturbed
the fruit will show when ready

A Picture In Grayed Boards

Mothers words grip within emotions
in the way dads old pickup drives
the treasured rides dirt swirling
behind us faster than the rabbits
fleeing through the peanut fields
startled does bound the fences
wire sagging and barbed gives way
her apron blowing softly seen
from the porch she waves smiling
it’s peach pie this evening sister
hanging out the washed sheets
giggling cute as the chipmunk
watching her from under the barn
grayed boards perfect the scene

Turnips Beside The Road

bunches of turnips spread out
an old country table of boards
dents and gaps showing age
soil dry now crumbles off as
each pile is shook before packing
the old vegetable boxes stacked
hurriedly in the bed of that old
white pickup that sat years in the
field back of the old slave cabins
it’s another hot day out there for
selling turnips beside the road

Southern Shine

Blue skies reflecting off southern eyes
Sight that is sweet as fresh pecan pie
Georgia peaches and Muscadine wine
Honey suckle and the sweet bye and bye
Carolina moonlight drinking down the shine

Papered With The Funnies

listening as the drops sound off one by one
coming storm raining down on the old tin roof
the falling porch leans toward the hill above
nothing fades as nicely as paint on metal does
wildflowers peak from between boards and stone
foundation sliding daily towards the eastern edge
sights and sounds returning inside this house
fools call it a shack but to me it’s ever true home
papered twice in the finest newspapers of the era
an architectural designer tribute to snuffy smith
running water is found in the creek pure and cool
the most of it found clear in mason jars shelved
among the years tomatoes and pickled okra
nostalgia grows in this holler when the rain falls

Could it be things are starting to work their way up the chain? After hundreds of arrests over the past month nation and world wide we may start to see some of the big players in Politics and the celebrity set going down.

The lack of access to spay and neuter services among the homeless pet community in the United States results in millions of unintended of unwanted pets each year. Our goal is to lower the rate of births in this neglected segment of the pet community. Birth rates continue to skyrocket among dogs and cats in the inner cities and rural ares where access to spay and neuter clinics has typically been limited With this goal in mind we offer our services to the homeless and recently adopted pets, along with longtime family members, who due to any reason, have found themselves in the difficult situation of an unwanted pregnancy. We will not go back, nor be intimidated by religious zealots who seek to return animals everywhere into forced puppydom.

Every puppy a wanted puppy!

There are many great organizations that focus on spay and neuter programs, at Planned Puppyhood we close the gap and help that portion of the animal world which has slipped through the cracks and finds themselves with an unintended pregnancy. This is especially true within the “mutt” community which has suffered under discrimination and the hate of bigots and fanatics for centuries. We offer special discreet services for celebrity animals along with the transgender animal community. We are proud supporters of GLAD (Gay and Lesbian American Dogs) and WHO DAT (We Hate Ownership…Dogs Against Trump).

I lost you today, after such along time together. Now people just stare at me as I try to smile. Parting is not so sweet when it was not what you wanted. And oh what a hole you left when you departed. Something like this has not happened to me since I was so young. When a man is young he bounces right back, “oh” he says “another will come along soon”. But you and I practically grew up together. The many times we spent enjoying a steak at that nice little restaurant down on the avenue. Or, how about all the times we would go to the Red Sox game just to eat those hot dogs that you can only get at Fenway Park. I may not be so young anymore, and at my age there is not much sympathy from others. Everyone experiences loss at this age they say, “get over it, move on”. I can’t move on as easy as that. When I was a young man I would just grab that extra money that I had because of what had happened, and from not having them here anymore, and with a great big grin on my face I’d eat an ice cream bought with that money. But not today, not now. That is why my face looks this way. Why I have no desire to just grin and bear it.

continued below

Because losing an Adult tooth, is not the same as loosing a baby tooth!

Waking up in the land of Trump.

Well, it is morning and Trump is President, and my coffee tastes the same. Despite that, the world is different today. It is too late for any wall the aliens have already crossed the border and reside in our heads. The conservatives are not so conservative anymore, except perhaps with their own wealth and power. And the liberals are not so liberal when it comes to giving up their own pride and prejudices.

What was the deal with this series that ran in 2016? Just for fun, or was there more.

From Wikipedia.

No.

Title

Directed by

Written by

Original air date

U.S. viewers
(millions)

1

“The Insanity Principle: How Extremism in Politics is Threatening Democracy in the 21st Century”

After funding falls through for her latest documentary, Laurel Healy accepts an offer from her father. He agrees to give her half the money she needs, but only if she takes a 6-month job in the office of her brother, Senator Luke Healy. Meanwhile, a large meteor is recovered in Russia and sent to the United States aboard a commercial ship; a large colony of ant-like aliens nesting inside escape and infect the crew. The chief engineer’s wife becomes suspicious and alerts Laurel, who learns that the shipment was authorized by Luke’s office. A congressional feud over the budget forces a government shutdownbefore the meteor can be properly secured and the aliens spread throughout the city to infect others. With the help of Gareth Ritter, a staffer for Republican Senator Red Wheatus, Laurel arranges a meeting between Luke and Wheatus to end the shutdown. The two forge a compromise, but Red is infected later that evening and reneges on the deal. He instead persuades another Democrat, Senator Spitz, to defect and give the Republicans the majority. While investigating the lab where the meteor was taken, Laurel finds the lead scientist, Dr. Daudier, unconscious. Before he can be treated, his head explodes, killing him. Returning to the Capitol, Laurel helps Luke move into his new offices and suspects that his Chief of Staff and lover Scarlett has also been infected.

2

“Playing Politics: Living Life in the Shadow of the Budget Showdown – A Critique”

Laurel meets FBI agent Anthony Onofrio who is investigating the death of Dr. Daudier. She attempts to help a terminally-ill girl in a quest to be photographed at the Lincoln Memorial, which has been hampered by the shutdown. Luke finds out and uses her for political purposes, which backfires when the press discovers her family are atheists. Laurel attends “Tax Prom” with Gareth, and finds out that Senator Michael Barneki is the apparent loser in the game of musical chairs prompted by Senator Spitz’ defection. She tells Luke, who meets with Barneki and promises a committee chairmanship and PAC money if he crosses the aisle. The information turns out to have been false, planted by Gareth; Barneki discloses Luke’s offer to the media and Luke faces a vote of no confidence as Democratic Whip. Meanwhile, Gustav Triplett witnesses someone’s head exploding during a CAT scan. He examines fragments of the man’s brain at home and discovers the bugs; in a post online, he appeals for others to come forward. Rochelle, Dr. Daudier’s daughter, tells Laurel of the second exploding head, who passes the information to Anthony. Laurel finds Gustav’s website and begins writing a reply.

3

“Goring Oxes: How You Can Survive the War on Government Through Five Easy Steps”

Luke appears on a political talk show with Senator Wheatus’ Chief of Staff, Jonathan, whose head explodes on live television. Gareth is promoted to Chief of Staff. The aliens infect Senator Ella Pollack, who is running against Luke for Democratic Whip. At a Democratic caucus, the two candidates plead their case, Pollack taking the upper hand. Gustav meets Laurel and they discuss the bugs. She also calls Gareth to congratulate him on the promotion, and asks him to go out to celebrate. Pollack accuses Luke of womanizing and Luke plans to leak a story in retaliation. Laurel meets with her journalist friend to give her the story and suspects she has been infected as well. Laurel and Gustav then meet with Rochelle to discuss the bugs appearing in the CAT scan. Laurel and Gareth talk at Jonathan’s wake and end up kissing. The story about Pollack leaks and she leaks Luke’s affair with Scarlett to the public, devastating his wife Germaine. However, she drops her challenge to Luke anyway. Meanwhile, Gustav sets a trap for the bugs in order to capture one, but fails. Red plans to form his own grassroots organization, called the One Wayers. Laurel is interrogated by the FBI concerning the catastrophic head injuries, but Luke intervenes. Gustav, scouring his apartment for the bugs, realizes his cat has been infected.

4

“Wake Up Grassroots: The Nine Virtues of Participatory Democracy, and How We Can Keep America Great by Encouraging an Informed Electorate”

Laurel is having drinks with Anthony and trying to persuade him that screwworms are causing the exploding heads. Gareth arrives at the bar with conservative commentator Misty Alise, whom he is trying to get to investigate the One Wayers. Gareth and Misty leave to have sex. Gustav interrupts and drags Laurel off for his cat’s CAT scan. They find evidence of infection with being deaf in one ear and loss of balance as symptoms. Misty interviews Senator Wheatus about the One Wayers. The CDC issues a recall of blood pressure medications suspected of causing CHIs. Senator Pollack attacks a Democratic donor who wants compromise and argues with Senator Wheatus to disrupt a meeting to resolve the government shutdown. Laurel thanks Gareth for his “anonymous” donation to the crowdfunding site for her documentary. Gareth tells Laurel that the Republican Senate Majority Leader is open to a compromise and through back channels a deal with sequestration if a budget isn’t passed within 6 months is agreed. Laurel, Gustav and Rochelle meet with Rochelle’s friend Dr Dexter Wu of the CDC. He likes their theory but needs evidence from humans. They ask Laurel’s infected friend Abby to help but she refuses. They get Anthony to compel her to undergo testing, but she commits suicide by jumping out the window. Gareth meets the One Wayers who want to start posting information about bomb-making on their website. Luke and the Majority Leader stage a vote with only three people ending the shutdown, before Senators Wheatus and Pollack can get arrive and block it. Laurel comforts Anthony at her apartment. They have sex but in the morning he is acting weird and she suspects that he was infected during the night.

5

“Back to Work: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Congress and How It Gets Things Done (and Often Doesn’t)”

Laurel confides her fears that Anthony may have been infected to Rochelle and Gustav. They suggest drugging sedating him and sneaking him to the hospital for a CAT scan but she baulks at the idea. At their request, Laurel asks Luke to pressure the head of the CDC into investigating their screwworm theory. He declines, saying that if the CDC were wrong about blood pressure medicine being to blame, the FDA would be furious. Storming out of a meeting of the Veterans’ Affairs Committee, Luke runs into the head of the FDA, who is annoyed at the CDC blaming them for the blood pressure drugs. Later, Laurel, Rochelle and Gustav explain their theory to Luke who says he will speak to the CDC if they get advice from congressional adviser Dr. Joanne Alaimo first. That evening, Laurel goes to Anthony’s apartment and he collapses. Gustav bursts in and admits that he sedated him; they attempt to examine Anthony but are interrupted by another woman. Rochelle and Gustav speak with Joanne, who tells Luke that they are “onto something”. Laurel sees Anthony and tells him they should stay friends. Gustav theorises that the bugs communicate through high-pitched frequencies. Luke meets with his friend Polly Savident from the CDC. He gives her the groups’ theory and they sleep together. When news of Luke’s theory gets out, other Senators mock him. Annoyed, Luke tells Laurel to stop talking about bugs. Joanne also appears to be infected. Anthony goes to Laurel’s apartment to apologize but tries to attack her; she fights him off and he leaves. Gustav drops off a mosquito net for Laurel, which she installs and then goes to bed; bugs emerge from the flowers Anthony brought her and crawl into her ear.

6

“Notes Toward a Post-Reagan Theory of Party Alliance, Tribalism, and Loyalty: Past as Prologue”

Gustav and Rochelle rush to help Laurel. As the bugs went in her left ear, they use the lateralization of brain function to stimulate the intuitive right side of her brain with music, dancing, alcohol and, as Gareth arrives to check on her, sex with him. After they finish, Laurel collapses, Gareth leaves, the bugs flee and Gustav catches one. The next day, Laurel and Gareth avoid each other and Gustav and Rochelle examine the bug, which Gustav is convinced is extra-terrestrial. Forced to seek out Gareth with a constituent’s concerns, Senator Wheatus speaks to her first, threatening her and suggesting she go back to California. She sees maps of gerrymanderedMaryland congressional districts and speaks with Gareth about this, and about the previous night. During a meeting on the CDC budget, Senator Wheatus objects to spending money on “zombie bug research”. Gustav and Rochelle’s sample, which they gave to the Dr. Wu, is confiscated and put into storage. Laurel draws a map of the proposed Maryland districts, which she and Gustav think resemble crop circles. Later, Laurel takes out her reporter friend, hoping to flush the bugs out of her head; however, she has been completely taken over by them. Listening to sounds from outer space, Rochelle speeds up the audio: the tune for the song “You Might Think” is audible. Laurel tries to get Luke to do something about the gerrymandered districts; he points out that the new boundaries benefit the Democrats. At another CDC budget meeting, Senator Pollack proposes doubling its budget, which the Republicans will never agree to. Rochelle tells Laurel that Gustav may be right about the bugs being aliens; that evening, Laurel tells Gareth about the bugs.

7

“The Power of Euphemism: How Torture Became a Matter of Debate in American Politics”

Laurel continues explaining their bug theory to Gareth. In Senator Wheatus’ office, a new Queen bug emerges from his ear: larger, winged and laying eggs. He infects his intern and then meets with the FBI director, arguing that the exploding heads are caused by bioterrorists and that the FBI should investigate Laurel. He then causes his intern’s head to explode in front of them. Laurel is taken for questioning; they intend to torture her. Gustav and Rochelle become suspicious and go to Gareth. Meanwhile, the FBI go to Luke and Wheatus, as Ranking Member and Chair, respectively, of the Senate Intelligence Committee, for approval to torture Laurel. The FBI refuse to disclose the identity of the subject so approval is granted. Gareth goes to Luke and they receive implicit confirmation from an FBI source that the subject is Laurel. Luke calls the FBI director, who denies it, so Luke subpoenas him to appear before the Intelligence Committee, delaying the torture. Meanwhile, Gustav and Rochelle use equipment to track and communicate with the infected. They then use it to interfere with the Committee’s vote on approving the torture of Laurel and she is released. She is reunited with her brother when their father arrives too. Gustav’s equipment confirms he has been infected as well.

Gareth tells Laurel that he doesn’t think she’s crazy and that Senator Wheatus suspects Rochelle and Gustav interfered in the Committee vote. She tells them and they tell her that her father may have been infected. Senator Wheatus presents a witness to the Intelligence Committee who testifies that the Syrian-backed “Ra’id Front” has developed a compound that makes heads explode. Rochelle captures an infected man in her apartment, whom Wheatus sent to follow her. Laurel investigates her father and then confronts him. He says that he has Parkinson’s disease but that with the bugs he’s fine and the bugs will make the world a better place. Gareth screens another potential Syrian witness but is unconvinced by his ever-changing story. Senator Wheatus implies that he wants a war, and for Gareth to lie for him. Gareth tells Laurel about the witness and they have sex. She then returns home and stops her father from infecting her mother. Wheatus’ coached witness appears before the Intelligence Committee and Luke begins his cross-examination but a CIA briefer tells a closed session that the Syrian “witnesses” are frauds and there is no chemical weapons programme in Syria. Meanwhile, Gustav force-feeds Rochelle’s captive alcohol, which lessens the bugs control, and he admits that the bugs are from outer space and that their agenda is to create chaos so that nobody stops their invasion. They let him go and Rochelle tails him to an office in the basement of the Senate numbered SRB-54. Wheatus’ Queen bug mates with Pollack’s King bug and they then speak on Misty Alise’s show, implying that the CIA confirmed what the witnesses said. Luke debates with his father and sister about breaking confidentiality to stop a war in Syria.

SRB-54 is a mysterious war room, belonging to Senator Wheatus. The truth about the CIA briefing is leaked. Wheatus has Gareth oversee opposition research on Laurel and the Intelligence Committee appoints a special prosecutor, former Senator Lawrence Boch, to investigate the leaks. Claudia Monarch, who broke the CIA briefing story, refuses to reveal to Boch who on the Committee leaked to her, so he has her arrested. Gareth tricks his way into the war room and sees a clock counting down to September 12 and plans for Syrian refugee internment camps. Wheatus’ opposition research claims that she had an abortion during an affair with her professor and slept with Michael Moore at Sundance. Gareth asks Laurel which of them are true. She admits the affair, denies the abortion and admits to Michael Moore, which Gareth can’t cope with. Meanwhile, Boch suspects that Laurel or Luke was the leaker. They speak with a lawyer and realise that each thought the other was the leaker. Luke meets with Boch, who had previously written a report on false WMD evidence that led to the Iraq War, and gives him information about SRB-54. He asks Boch to go after Wheatus as the “real culprit” and leave him and Laurel alone. When Boch confronts Wheatus in his office, Wheatus shoots him and has his intern help him dispose of the body, after saving some of the brains for later. When the investigator tells Gareth she was wrong about Michael Moore, he tries to apologize, but she says they are too different for it to work and should take a break. After Boch’s disappearance, Claudia is released and she speaks privately with Senator Diane Vaynerchuk, who turns out to be the leaker.

10

“The Path to War Part Two: The Impact of Propaganda on Congressional War Votes”

Senators Wheatus and Pollack co-ordinate their “One Wayers” and “No Wayers” to campaign for war ahead of the Committee vote. Luke can’t use his PAC’s ad to fight them because it just blames the One Percent. He asks Laurel to help the director Ben Valderrama, whom she knows, to fix it. Gareth agrees to be interviewed but walks out when Valderrama ambushes him with loaded questions. Laurel apologizes; Gareth tells her that their friendship is hurting his career. Luke’s father pressures him to support the war to further his career. When Germaine asks if Luke is still cheating, Laurel is uncomfortable lying to her, so she forces Luke to break up with his girlfriends, which results in a lot of break-up sex. Laurel becomes worried because the baby kicks every time Donald Trump appears on TV, but tests reveal nothing. Germaine gives birth to a baby girl and Luke promises he will be a better husband now he’s a father. He finally tells Scarlett to get a new job. Laurel makes her own ad that exposes Wheatus and Pollack’s conspiracy, attacks division and opposes the war. She posts it under Valderrama’s name and it goes viral resulting in Senator Vaynerchuk casting the deciding vote against sending the war resolution to the full Senate. Valderrama claims the credit for the brilliant and original ad. At home, Luke is affectionate to Germaine but she isn’t interested in him. Or their baby who cries until the mobile plays “You Might Think” producing a smile.

11

“Six Points on the New Congressional Budget: The False Dichotomy of Austerity vs. Expansionary Policies”

Gareth sees the Queen bug lay eggs and then enter Senator Wheatus’s brain. Wheatus and Pollack unveil their pork-filled budget. Luke’s office has only 48 hours to go through it and find out what they are up to before the vote to send it to the Senate. A delegation from the DNC comes to vet Luke for CIA Director if the Democrats win the election. Germaine and Scarlett, now working for Senator Pollack, tell them about all his affairs. But the big problem is when Anthony Onofrio gives them the FBI’s material on Laurel and her bug theory. Laurel manages to convince them that it’s just a metaphor from her viral video. Gareth goes to see Laurel and they meet with Rochelle, Gustav and Dr. Wu to discuss the Queen bug he saw and debate killing the Queen or Wheatus. Gareth tips off Laurel to look in the farm section of the budget where they find hidden funding for Wheatus’s internment camps. Wheatus calls Laurel to meet up where he offers her $2m in funding for her documentary if she goes away. Gareth figures out that the Queen emerged when it was warmer after the AC switched off for the night. So later, Laurel, Gustav and Rochelle ambush Wheatus and wound the Queen but an intern stops them killing her. Isenstadt, the CIA Director’s Director, briefs Luke on the bug invasion and says that they had a plan to take down Wheatus but Laurel wrecked it last night. So he and Laurel must stay out of it. Isenstadt is in league with Wheatus.

12

“Talking Points Toward a Wholistic View of Activism in Government: Can the Top Rebel?”

Luke orders Laurel to let the CIA handle the bugs. Gustav doesn’t trust the CIA and still wants to murder Senator Wheatus. Laurel can’t agree to this and accepts a $2 million donation from The Ocean League to finish her documentary in the Solomon Islands. After Laurel resigns and tells Gareth she is leaving in a week, he turns up at her office drunk and proposes. Senator Wheatus is really struggling because of the Queen’s injury. Luke outmaneuvers him and gets the budget vote delayed until tomorrow. Pollack thinks Wheatus is weak and wants to take over, but he refuses to stand aside. Luke’s team finds funding for lots of glass hidden in the budget footnotes so Laurel visits an internment camp and finds hothouses for growing cherry blossoms. Pollack hires an assassin to kill Gareth to stop him helping Wheatus. Gareth is stabbed in the shoulder but fights off his attacker. Laurel rushes to his bedside and asks him to come with her, but he won’t be a kept man in a hut. Luke goes to the CIA with the new information but is told to butt out again. He stands up to Isendstadt and tries to separate the farm provision from the budget. When this fails he starts a sit-in. Pollack confronts Wheatus and forces the Queen out of him at gunpoint then tries to shoot him. But she left the safety on so Wheatus disarms her and shoots her dead. The Queen bug chops up the fleeing King bug. A resurgent Wheatus confronts Luke and cuts off the CSPAN feed of the sit-in. Inspired by her brother’s stand, Laurel takes him a phone to Periscopethe sit-in. Laurel goes to Gareth’s office and kisses him telling him she is not going to run away from the end of the world, and then to Rochelle and Gustav and tells them she knows the bugs plan and how to stop it.

13

“The End of All We Hold Dear: What Happens When Democracies Fail: A Brief Synopsis”

Laurel figured out the clock was for the end of the cherry blossoms the bugs need. Gareth steals a security pass so that Gustav and Rochelle can salt the cherry tree seedlings at the camp but they flee when they bump into Anthony. Isenstadt threatens Luke with his father testifying he leaked. When Laurel tries to shame him out of testifying a bug leaves his ear. So she shows him a home video of her parents arguing after he missed her 9th birthday causing him to collapse and his bugs to leave. Wheatus fails to shoot Luke. Rochelle and Gustav try to fertilize DC’s cherry trees with ammonium nitrate to make them shed their blossoms, but they are stopped by the police and Anthony shows up to question them. Gustav turns out to be an NSA Agent and gets rid of them. Wheatus and Isenstadt blackmail Luke into letting budget pass with a sex tape Scarlett gave them, but Luke managed to divert the funding from the hothouses to a motor helmet law. Gareth has noticed that Wheatus is always getting Laurel’s name wrong because she looks like his first love Lana. Laurel tries to use this to shame Wheatus but he pulls his gun. Gareth enters and grapples with Wheatus, who is shot in the buttock. The Queen flees Wheatus and is stepped on by the intern. All the bugs panic and leave their hosts to pile onto their dead Queen. Gareth and Laurel move in together and she leaves politics to work on her documentary. The politicians, including Wheatus, with a half-a-brain continue their careers unimpeded. Luke goes into finance and Laurel works for him during the next big crash. Their father succumbs to Parkinson’s.

While my coffee tastes the same this morning something is surely different. Maybe it’s just me, but my brain does feel like it is going to explode from the insanity of a nation and people who are spiraling down the drain they pulled the plug on.

For years the cry from liberal pro abortion supporters was “stop the dangerous rhetoric“. This was a reference to people outside abortion clinics and elsewhere, saying abortion was murder. In fact buffer zones where created outside clinics to keep people who were going in the clinics from having to hear such words. they argued that this kind of talk is what led some to bomb or burn clinics, and even to shoot abortionists. {They never mentioned how it may have saved some women and children from the dangers inside the clinics.} Now we have some young people caught live streaming an attack on a disable man and apparently it is based on race and the fact that Trump is some how against black people and all white people are aligned with him. With Hillary supporters and the MSM in tears and saying over and over how Trump is a white supremacist and bigot, and even going as far as to say that minorities will be rounded up and jailed, what else could you expect? Is there going to be a discussion on the MSM about how the words they have been using directly led to this kind of action? I think not. And rightly so, their words didn’t make people do anything. But, if they really are not the fake news outlets that they claim to be and they are telling the world that what they are speaking and broadcasting is truth, well, maybe they ought to at have that conversation. At the least among themselves, to discern if they may have influenced these peoples actions. Perhaps the (non) intelligence agencies could lend a hand in the matter, or a Congressional panel?

Like this:

In a stunningturn of events Brad Pitt has gone public concerning his wife’s recent filing for divorce. Endtimesconspiracy has learned from its sources that Pitt has released such details about Jole as the fact that her so-called preemptive mastectomy was really due to her finding pictures on Brad’s phone of Jennifer Aniston’s breasts. Unconfirmed reports are saying it was a case of a psychotic episode of self-mutilation in a jealous rage. Brad also claims though sources that Angelina is suffering from a serious case of rad-brain as a result of Fukushima and her constant air travel. While we could not confirm any of these reports, it seems that Jole is about to drop some bombs about Pitt also. Included we have heard is his terrible flatulence problem, which has been according to rumors, a stinking point in the relationship for years. All comments and inquires should be directed to our satire dept. . urdumbifudo@email.comedy