Letters I'll Never Send

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Sometimes when I feel myself sink back into a negative space I’ll look through some of our correspondence. All those letters…so many feelings, explanations and hopes. Most of them coming from me. Reading through them always gives me a more healthy perspective. I have this problem. I care about you. And that caring is what makes excuses for you when you are perfectly capable of communicating with me yourself. I forgive too easy. I do it because I really want to. But seeing the reality of everything just makes me shake my head. I just don’t trust you. I think something died in me towards you. I tried to make you see so many times. Maybe I thought things would be different if only you knew; like somehow I’d find the magic words in all those thousands of words. I think the love I’ve felt for you is pretty broken. Instead of wanting to pick up the pieces again I find myself wondering, “What’s the point? Why try to fix it if I know he’s going to just break it again?”

You hit the nail on the head. I actually just spoke with her not an hour ago. It took me a lot of courage. I heard what I needed to hear & now I am free…finally. I thought she was on here, she said NO, yet I don’t believe that for what it’s worth as there are to many coincidences. Life goes on & so am I as now I can go & find what we all seek. LOVE. Awesome!

Never again shall I be the good guy for I’m over always being so nice and now I shall always put myself first as the saying goes….”You have to be mean to keep them keen”!

David – fuck off. I bet she was never here as well. Do you know how many coincidences I’ve had here? Shit, me and female D here have so much in common, she sometimes thinks I’m her male counterpart. Yet she doesn’t get all wacked out like you David. Accept responsibility and quit telling people to fuck off (you response whe I tried to be kind to you) or you will get the same treatment. Karma’s apparently just kicking your ass.

To say your any better? NO your not for I’m not angry like you & you forgot to say please. No manners as well. Karma has nothing to do with it. We are solely responsible whether right or wrong for we have the choice to fight or take flight. I’ve got my closure now so you can ramble away at me all you like. Good day.