Posts Tagged ‘Jeremy Clarkson’

Spurred on by abundant rumours that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter deliberately struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere, SKY satellite engineers have vowed to work around the clock to detach Clarkson from his currently uncomfortable position and ‘re-assign’ the little fella. However, the surgical manoeuvre is complicated by the risk of damaging the attached scrotum, or James May as he is known.

The suspension of Jeremy Clarkson from from the BBC has been met with protests involving displays of self-flagellation and ‘appropriate, before the watershed’ violence by many of his 300 million supporters.

To packed conference in California, Google co-founder, Sergey Brin revealed plans to manufacture a vehicle that will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on ‘pejorative terms for Asians’.

Claymation character Morph, popularised by the children’s TV art show Take Hart, was today embroiled in a row over racism on the BBC. Though his words are commonly thought of as unintelligible babble, many are now accusing him of spewing an unbroken stream of racist expletives from the 1970s to the present.