What … what’s that? …. Oh. Then, the guys will investigate the Seahawks and Texans anyway.

(Brief digression: if you don’t get the reference, please click the "Mythbusters" link above to check out Discovery Channel show. If you think you won’t like it because you’re not a science nerd, try it anyway—you’ll be a science nerd by the time it’s over. Back to the column.)

Pete Carroll believes icing the kicker works, and he’s not alone, at least among NFL coaches. It’s been refreshing to see the tactic decrease lately, after a couple of years of coach after coach toying with it and trying to refine it. Of course, Hall of Famer Joe Gibbs infamously botched it in 2007 (he called two timeouts in a row, incurred a penalty that moved the attempt 15 yards closer and led to the field goal that cost him the game), and last season, the Cowboys’ Jason Garrett pulled the stunt on his own kicker, who missed.

That didn’t help the cause. In fact, there aren’t nearly as many memorable examples of icing the kicker working as there are of it blowing up in a coach’s face. But coaches still pull it out, usually because they’ve got no other move left.

And because it’s such a convenient myth, the football version of basketball coaches icing a free-throw shooter. There’s nothing to back either of them up, nothing statistical or anecdotal. Think of all the variables that go into one, seemingly simple, often-perceived-as-automatic field goal … and good luck separating from all of them the success rate of making a kicker “think about it.”

Apparently, on Sunday in the Georgia Dome, when Carroll called timeout with 13 seconds left to make Falcons kicker Matt Bryant “think about it,” everybody in the solar system except Carroll could see what was going to happen next. It was even easier to guess after the ball was snapped anyway and Bryant shanked the try.

Give Carroll credit, though, for adding a twist. After Bryant got the unofficial attempt off, the coach rushed an official to argue, he later said, that the Falcons shouldn’t have been allowed to even try a kick. Sort of a double-icing, or retroactive icing.

His reasoning, though, was a little off: The talk with the refs, as he told it, focused on the Ravens’ Justin Tucker rushing onto the field in Denver between overtime periods and trying a practice kick. Which is not the same situation at all.

All of which is evidence that the whole icing plan wasn’t—and isn’t—a good one. The best evidence? Bryant made the subsequent kick. The Falcons will play next week. The Seahawks won’t.

For what it’s worth, when Tucker did try his game-winner, the Broncos didn’t ice him. A year ago, the Patriots didn’t ice Billy Cundiff. You’re either going to make the kick, or miss it.

Busted.

Next, the ol’ bulletin board.

Historically, teams aren’t picky about where they find the words that prove that they’re being disrespected, disbelieved and gravely insulted. The other team’s local paper is as good as anything.

So, as the game against the Patriots approached, the Texans rallied around a Boston Globe column that called them “fraudulent” and “terrible” and opined that the Patriots were “the first team in NFL history to get back-to-back byes before advancing to the conference championship game.”

Uh oh. It’s on! Some New England mouths were gonna get some New England feet in them, courtesy of the fired-up Texans.

Except … Patriots 41, Texans 28. And it wasn’t that close.

One wonders, then, if when the Texans returned the opening kickoff to the Patriots’ 12 but only got a field goal out of it, or when Matt Schaub threw a second-half interception directly to Rob Ninkovich, or when the defense gave up 457 yards, did they all blame it on the Patriots, on their own inadequacies, or on the Globe not ridiculing them enough.

Busted.

With such concrete proof, there is absolutely no chance that those same Patriots are going to take the bait dangled by Baltimore’s Brendon Ayanbadejo on Sunday night. He took to Twitter to vent about the Patriots’ quick-snap offense (“a gimmick” and “sneakiness”), their morals (he brought up Spygate) and their toughness (a colorful description that won’t be reprinted here).

Well, Tom Brady went on Boston radio Monday morning to drop a verbal bomb of his own. He pointed out that no matter who says what about whom this week, the winner of Sunday’s game goes to the Super Bowl.

“That’s the only motivation we need,” he said. “That’s the ultimate motivation.”