Easter Candy Power Rankings

By John Boyd

on April 18, 2014 11:42 AM

We rank and brutally criticize the best and worst of the most popular Easter candy in America, starting with ...

Ranked: The best & worst East candy in America

We rank and brutally criticize the best and worst of the most popular Easter candy in America, starting with ...

Photo: The AGE, Getty Images

Ranked: The best & worst East candy in America We rank... Photo-7741686.84148 - Beaumont Enterprise

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No. 21 – Gum Drops:These candies have been around forever. Literally – these candies pictured. Seriously, they could be decades old and you wouldn't know any better. Have you ever eaten a gum drop that didn't taste like it had been around since the Taft administration? Would you know a "fresh" gum drop if you bit into one. There may not have been a new gum drop made since Gene Wilder strapped on the Wonka jacket. Pass – even as a basket filler.

No. 20 – Easter Candy Corn: What do you think we are, candy corn – some kind of idiot? You don't think we realize you're the same lousy Halloween candy with a new Easter paint job? We didn't like you in October, and we still don't like you in April. less

No. 20 – Easter Candy Corn: What do you think we are, candy corn – some kind of idiot? You don't think we realize you're the same lousy Halloween candy with a new Easter paint job? We didn't like you in ... more

No. 19 – Mini Chocolate Bunnies: A subliminal message for the parent that wants to tell their kid, "I don't love you enough to get you a full-size bunny." You're destroying families, Mini bunnies, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. less

No. 19 – Mini Chocolate Bunnies: A subliminal message for the parent that wants to tell their kid, "I don't love you enough to get you a full-size bunny." You're destroying families, Mini bunnies, and you ... more

No. 18 – SweeTarts Chicks, Ducks & Bunnies: No one has ever been given a roll of delicious SweeTarts and thought to themselves, "Is there any way you could shape them like bath toys and package them so that I don't get as many of them?" You're embarrassing yourself with this poor Easter showing, SweeTarts. less

No. 18 – SweeTarts Chicks, Ducks & Bunnies: No one has ever been given a roll of delicious SweeTarts and thought to themselves, "Is there any way you could shape them like bath toys and package them so that ... more

No. 17 – Bubble Gum Eggs: What's worse – that they're a lousy gum or that their appearance fools the brain into thinking they're one of several similarly-sized/shaped Easter candies that are far superior (more on these later). less

No. 17 – Bubble Gum Eggs: What's worse – that they're a lousy gum or that their appearance fools the brain into thinking they're one of several similarly-sized/shaped Easter candies that are far superior ... more

No. 16 – Cadbury Creme Eggs: Cadbury Eggs have a devoted following and everyone loves the old Cadbury Bunny Tryouts commercial, but let's be honest: there's a reason these are only on the store shelves once a year. On a 12-month basis, the Cadburry Egg couldn't hang with the likes of the Snickers of the world. Incredibly messy and passable as a once per year treat only. less

No. 16 – Cadbury Creme Eggs: Cadbury Eggs have a devoted following and everyone loves the old Cadbury Bunny Tryouts commercial, but let's be honest: there's a reason these are only on the store shelves once ... more

No. 15 – Butterfinger Eggs: The taste is classic Butterfinger, but there's something offputting about a chocolate egg that crunches when you bite down on it. Also, they're fine in a vacuum, but there are just better chocolate/peanut butter Easter combinations on the market. less

No. 15 – Butterfinger Eggs: The taste is classic Butterfinger, but there's something offputting about a chocolate egg that crunches when you bite down on it. Also, they're fine in a vacuum, but there are ... more

No. 14 – Peeps: These are the most overrated candies on the planet. There's a reason people have more fun decorating Peeps than eating them: What they call "marshmallow" barely passes as a food item, and the fact that they're practically indestructible tells us all we need to know about what's going on with them inside our tummies. Still, an Easter is not allowed to pass without eating a five-pack on principle alone. (Don't worry, Peeps fans – you'll get a makeup call later in the rankings.)

Side note: Peeps should come in one color and one shape: Yellow chicks. Pink bunnies, you're a pretender to the throne and you don't belong in our Easter baskets.

No. 14 – Peeps: These are the most overrated candies on the planet. There's a reason people have more fun decorating Peeps than eating them: What they call "marshmallow" barely passes as a food item, and the ... more

No. 13 – Jelly Beans: A good basket filler and tasty at times, but they can be a high-risk, high-reward gamble. Is that green one lime or jalapeno: We like both, but when we think we're biting into one and get the other, the taste bud to brain signal doesn't know what to think. Take caution when playing roulette with your Easter. less

No. 13 – Jelly Beans: A good basket filler and tasty at times, but they can be a high-risk, high-reward gamble. Is that green one lime or jalapeno: We like both, but when we think we're biting into one and ... more

No. 12 – Hershey's Milk Chocolate Eggs: – The foil wrappers can be a pain, but for a quick shot of chocolate, they're hard to beat. It's easy to lose track of how many you've eaten, though, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. less

No. 12 – Hershey's Milk Chocolate Eggs: – The foil wrappers can be a pain, but for a quick shot of chocolate, they're hard to beat. It's easy to lose track of how many you've eaten, though, which can be a ... more

No. 10 – Russell Stover Milk Chocolate Bunny: It's the exact perfect amount of chocolate for an adult – no more, no less – even though we're not-so-secretly disappointed when we bite into the hollow ones. Not the highest grade chocolate you'll find on the Easter market, but passable. And we still get a sick pleasure from biting off the ears first. less

No. 10 – Russell Stover Milk Chocolate Bunny: It's the exact perfect amount of chocolate for an adult – no more, no less – even though we're not-so-secretly disappointed when we bite into the hollow ones. ... more

No. 9 – Snickers Eggs: Tastes just like Snickers, and that's a glorious thing. If there's beef to be found, it's that they're not as big as the full-size bar (or King Size) which is what we really want, but they're bigger than the Fun Size, which makes us feel guilty for eating more than one. less

No. 9 – Snickers Eggs: Tastes just like Snickers, and that's a glorious thing. If there's beef to be found, it's that they're not as big as the full-size bar (or King Size) which is what we really want, but ... more

No. 8 – Lifesavers Gummies Bunnies & Eggs: Lifesavers Gummies get high marks on just bringing a different flavor and consistency to the Easter palate. They're not chocolate, they're not straight-up sugar, they're not creamy or crunchy. They're their own thing and a refreshing change of pace. less

No. 8 – Lifesavers Gummies Bunnies & Eggs: Lifesavers Gummies get high marks on just bringing a different flavor and consistency to the Easter palate. They're not chocolate, they're not straight-up sugar, ... more

No. 4 – Milk Chocolate Peeps: The Peep gets a major upgrade with a slightly crunchy chocolate shell that adds an extra level of creaminess. Throw some graham crackers around this fella and you're one campfire away from a delicious s'more. less

No. 4 – Milk Chocolate Peeps: The Peep gets a major upgrade with a slightly crunchy chocolate shell that adds an extra level of creaminess. Throw some graham crackers around this fella and you're one campfire ... more

No. 3 – M&M's Bunny Mix: We're no fool. We know these are just regular M&M's with a different shell color And yes, we did ding the Easter candy corn for trying to pull this same ruse. But we like M&M's. And if you don't, you're not a real American. less

No. 3 – M&M's Bunny Mix: We're no fool. We know these are just regular M&M's with a different shell color And yes, we did ding the Easter candy corn for trying to pull this same ruse. But we like M&M's. And ... more

No. 2 – Whoppers Robin Eggs: The best one-bite candy, not just of Easter, but of the year. Their shiny, spotted shells are a visual feast that provide a nice crack when bit into. Inside, delicious malted chocolate that dissolves in the mouth. Were it not for the best candy on the planet, this would be No. 1 ... less

No. 2 – Whoppers Robin Eggs: The best one-bite candy, not just of Easter, but of the year. Their shiny, spotted shells are a visual feast that provide a nice crack when bit into. Inside, delicious malted ... more

No. 1 – Reese's Eggs: The traditional Peanut Butter Cup was already near-perfect, but for Easter Reese's actually found a way to improve it with seemingly a better PB-to-chocolate ratio and the elimination of the black wax cup that always steals the bottom of your candy. These are hands-down the best Easter candy on the market. less

No. 1 – Reese's Eggs: The traditional Peanut Butter Cup was already near-perfect, but for Easter Reese's actually found a way to improve it with seemingly a better PB-to-chocolate ratio and the elimination of ... more