A cameo on Nip/Tuck: All the cool girls are doing it

According to various reports, Madonna will guest star on Nip/Tuck. In March, the buzz was that she would either do a nude scene with Julian McMahon or would do some (presumably clothed) scenes with her friend Rosie O'Donnell. But now it seems the role has been reduced to a "cameo."

Who knows if we can even believe this? Nicole Kidman was supposed to appear on the show too, but then her reps denied the whole thing. And why does Nip/Tuck attract so many big names anyway? Sandra Bullock has also said she's interested.

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And let's not forget the appearances by Brooke Shields, Alanis Morissette and Melissa Gilbert — though, frankly, I'm really trying to forget that last one. (She was a little too fond of her dog. I'll spare you the details.)

I suppose if you're an actor, you're already very tuned in to the obsession with beauty and might find it irresistible as a subject. And there was a time when Nip/Tuck explored that obsession carefully and with much insight. But now? Pretty much just gross surgery and grosser sex.

I guess I'll just hope they find a way to get Madge and Rosie out on the baseball field again. Maybe they can be part of the McNamara-Troy softball team — let's call them the Saddlebags or the Raging Rhinos (as in -plasty). I don't think Christian would be such an arrogant stud if he were facing some bat-wielding, gum-snapping, insult-hurling girls of summer.