Think Dangerously

Linn-Benton Backwash

Idon’t usually do a lot of good news because it’s boring, but the Corvallis School Board voted last week to reboot the title of the stadium in honor of CHS’s current Director of Athleticstisics Bob Holt, who I’ve heard is a pretty incredible human being. Also it’s cool to have stuff named after you before you’re dead. Congrats, Bob.

In sports news, the Beavers lost in some sort of game against a team called the Bears. Fair enough. Bears are a lot bigger and scarier, duh. Everyone liked the As the State Turns “name your own wildfire” so much, how about you rename the Beavers?

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Last week the Albany Democrat Heraldpublished some really awesome syndicated content, “25 Halloween-inspired baby names.” To give you an idea what you’re missing, number six was Peter, the Halloween reference being 1984’s Ghostbuster character Peter Venkman. It also says the name started getting more and more popular starting 14 years prior. So basically, people name their kid Peter because of a movie with ghosts that came out in the summer, as in not near Halloween, of a year a decade and a half later… you know what, never mind.

For a dose of something a little more comprehensible, a woman ran her own brother clear over in the Lebanon Walmart parking lot last week, and was shortly thereafter arrested for felony assault. Witnesses claim there was some kind of scuffle in the car, after which said brother got out and tried to mess with the car battery, presumably to stop the car from working. It was then that she put the pedal to the metal. It’s an ongoing investigation. Good times. I guess I can see it; my brother used to be a huge dick.