Monday, 25 June 2012

FUNNY, THEN HEAVENLY

Good day and welcome to the next time I promised you the last time I was here. Yes, I know, I did not make it sound like the next time was going to be such a long time; but I actually have this time-tested philosophy about time which goes thus: any time you get to enjoy something good is actually the right time to enjoy it. Sounds like a crappy outlook? Adopt it and let us see if it will not stand the test of time.

Seriously, funny things happen all the time. I am talking about really funny things here: like needing one “cooler” and getting twenty “coolers” as wedding presents, but needing a car and not even getting one toy-car as wedding present; like saying you haven’t heard that crappy song “Sister Caro” by the Hopeless K-Switch featuring the Hopeful D’Banj and then all the radio stations decide to put it on repeat, but you have not seen the video of Tinie Tempah’s “Written in the Stars” and for one month, you have not been able to catch it, not even once, on any music channel, on DSTV; like getting to hear a word for the first time in the morning and before the day runs out, you get to hear the word a gazillion times again, but there is a word you have known all your life and then you want to use it, you just cannot remember only to see it on the next billboard after leaving where you were; like seeing a particular model of a car for the first time in the morning, and all through the day it turns out that half of the population of the cars on the roads are just that same particular model; do those funny things happen to you? You talk about something, and then you get it in excess, or you just do not get it at all, isn’t that funny? But the real funny thing is: those things that usually happen repeatedly or happen non-existently are those things that have no bearing whatsoever on what you have in mind, or if you are unlucky, those that derail all the plans you have in mind. That was exactly what happened the last time I was here. You might explain that as “Top of the Mind Awareness”; “Sustained Focus”; “Increased Recognition”; or whatever psychological jargon which might eventually lead us to making some Freudian slips; but I know that the Enormous Work Pressure that came immediately after I complained of lack of Work Pressure the last time I was here had nothing to do with the my complain of lack of Work Pressure. But on came the Work Pressure, and it was Enormous. But the purpose of this post is not to bore you with the minute details of the “Enormous Pressure”, but to do among the so many other things you want it to do – gist you about the heavenly weekend that I had.

The Enormous Work Pressure (sorry I had to go back to it) was such that I was looking forward to the weekend as a well-behaved prisoner is looking forward to parole, or the way a runz-girl is looking forward to parol. And the weekend when it came was simply Heavenly. LadyRash was around which meant the food was always punctual and delicious; Abraham decided to up our speed by “Wimaxing the whole house onto SWIFT network; and of course tthree mouth-watering matches in Euro2012 to look-forward to and eventually enjoy. With some juice still in the refrigerator, I could actually up my spirit by downing some Spirits, with the self-deception that dilution will cancel or delay the dreaded liver collapse. In synopsis, the weekend was just as I would love all my days to be, with the gracious addition of money in the bank anyways, because money is the reason why the weekend was heavenly in the first place, and if that finishes, where will we get the money to make the subsequent weekends heavenly?

With LadyRash emerging as the undisputed champion and the eternal winner without even needing to participate in the competition; football won the race among the other peers. For guys who do not love football, I have been looking for words and expressions to describe them, but I have not found any, but I will not give up, when I do find the words and expressions, you will be the first to know. How could anyone not admire the dynamic efficiency of the German Manschaft? How could anyone not adore the artistry of the Spanish La Furia Roja? How could anyone not appreciate the ruthless efficiency of the Italian Azzuris? How could anyone not enjoy the flair and pompousity of Portugal? There were great lessons to be learnt from the matches at the weekend. Germany whitewashed Greece, Greece was too defensive, sometimes you just have to dare. Spain sailed past France like there was no team there, which was true because France wasn’t a team, just a bunch of egotistical individuals like the Samir “Golddigger” Nasri and Patrice “Loudmouth” Evra. For England, there is a level to which mediocrity cloaked in astronomical-hype can take you, and that is as an underdog to an organized and inspired Azurris. The Italians showed that they are not just the dons of organized crime; they are also the dons of organized football. They murdered England dreams and buried the hopes. The British Media are still looking for the remains of the two though.

Thanks also to Abraham’s SWIFT WiMAX, I had unlimited access to the internet, but before you ask me why I could not post anything over the weekend, let me quickly ask you: Did you not get the memo? LadyRash was around. *winks*

1 comment:

*Clears throat*... SirRash. After having enjoyed the great read, there's only one thing I'm waiting for, and it's not your "word" for those who don't like soccer, but... wait for it... BabyRashes! (Roti)