Warning for Naïve Male Expatriates

"Dear Aida, I wonder if you can write an article regarding this matter.
I believe that it would be helpful for foreigners to be warned of the ways
many Indonesian women behave. They are so manipulating mainly in terms of
breaking up happy marriages, convincing naïve male expatriates that
they are pregnant with their child and need financial support, etc. Truly
yours, Ann."

This message came to my inbox while I was working
on my next article. I read it over several times, and the gray cells in
my brain were sweltering trying to figure out how I should reply. There's
no way I can approach this issue for The Jakarta Post without it being
heavily censored by their so morally concerned editors. I know it's also
impossible to post the article in the newly launched 'Aida Speaks Out'
without creating controversial bitter debate from the would be highly
educated white society.

Let me expand as subtly as possible.

Well yes, there are some morally questionable women out there whom
I believe were born specifically to find naïve male westerners to
date or possibly marry. Money, free vacations to temperate countries or
the dream to sleep with somebody who looks like an aged version of characters
they worship in 'Baywatch Nights". You can name a thousand other reasons
behind their behavior, except love. But as they always say, love will
come eventually, or not.

I have a lot of male expatriate friends and some of them did date
or are currently involved with local women. Every time I bump into these
mates in a party somewhere and they're coincidentally hand in hand with
suspicious looking twenty-something-year-old local girlfriends, I really
enjoy playing games with them such as asking the following questions.

"So, where did you two meet?" This is my favorite inquiry.

If she says;" Uuuh, I met him in a club... uh... what was it called... I can't remember... but I had never been there before in my life... I
swear!"

"Tanamur?" I quickly ask. She usually can't look at me straight in
the eye, but nods quietly. This is 'beware' number one. She's probably
been hanging out there half of her life waiting for somebody brainless
enough to think that she is a ready to rescue Indonesian version of the
Holy Mary.

Or, when they say that they are students I ask them which school they
are attending. If they answer with names you've never heard of like 'University
of Aesthetic and Body Language' or something, then you have to be cautious.
An otherwise, fake-schooling fee is the next thing their boyfriends will
find on their bedside table.

You don't have to have an MBA degree to understand how these women
operate. Playing the shy 'What is a nice girl like me doing in a sleazy
place like this?' scenario is the first thing they will do until the guys
are totally blind with love. Some of them even leave their long-term spouses.
Hey, who needs a long-term faithful supportive wife if you have a twenty-something-year-old
ego-boosting chick in your arms!

Secondly, the poor family stories come up. They have various excuses
to make you empty your bank account; including stories about siblings
education, frequently dying relatives, advanced rental for their overpriced
kost in order to avoid eviction, or even their mothers who need extra
capital to expand their bule-priced souvenir shops, whatever!

Eventually, some guys realize what is actually going on, some don't.
Or maybe some guys are at the stage when they feel really bored of saying;
'You look great darling, nice nail polish!' in Tarzan's hand signals.

Having less pocket money and less sex (they complain almost like real
wives too), these women suddenly realize that their men are planning to
leave them. A new strategy must be prepared in no time. Then: Voila! They
reveal a home pregnancy test kit with a positive sign on it. The story
goes on and on.

I remember when a Caucasian friend of mine, told me that he had been
paying medical bills for his pregnant ex-girl friend. When the D-day finally
came, he was horrified to see the yellow skinned, narrow-eyed newborn
bore absolutely no resemblance to him. He tried really hard, but to no
avail to convince the doctors that his baby was suffering jaundice.

He asked her what actually happened. She said," Well, it was about
the same time. I was also dating a Japanese man while we were still together."
What do you know! That's what I call double income!

Regarding the happy marriage breaker mentioned in Ann's email, I really
don't know what to say! I mean, morally lacking women are everywhere in
this world. If your husband is willing to leave you just for a younger
woman who gives him tropical fantasies, don't you think that you should
be glad to get rid of him anyway?