FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jan 30, 2008

remake shmremake

By now you've probably already heard the news that Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes lackeys have sunk their filthy claws into the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and somethin's a-brewin'- whether remake or prequel, no one is yet sure. Whatever happens, it's become obvious that Bay intends to shit on as many classic horror properties as he possibly can. Yay!

I realize, of course, that I tossed the notion of a Nightmare remake around not so terribly long ago. Now that the possibility is actually here, though, I find that it's a bit like your wedding day when the doors open and you look down the aisle and spot the person you're about to marry and they're totally nice enough but, let's face it, not all that attractive and you have that sinking feeling like "Oh dear, I have to look at that for the rest of my life?" and you decide that it wasn't that great of an idea to begin with.

Or something like that.

Anyway, there's no point in getting up in arms about remakes because they're just not going anywhere; it is always fun to get up in arms over Michael Bay, however. I will say that both Mr T and I pity the poor fool who steps into the role of Freddy Krueger- Robert Englund has left a pretty big knifey-glovey to fill.

24 comments:

My first reaction to that photograph: I must find some bleach to drink right this second.

My second reaction: Ya know, it's actually not that difficult to believe that underneath all that make-up that pretty pretty princess Efron wears there's a scar-faced ghoul who like to rape children. I think Disney actually has that in their contracts these days.

I think the lack of Englund is why I really can't see this working. I love the hell out of "Halloween," but at least I could see someone else playing Myers; Jason, for that matter isn't a big deal in the recasting area either. Hell, a "Friday the 13th" remake is fine considering you're only crapping on shitty films.

But how do you replace Englund? Maybe it's not quite as ominous a character, but think about how hard it was to watch Vince Vaughn replace Anthony Perkins in that terrible remake of "Psycho." Oy Vay!

I'm going to respectfully disagree, John barleycorn. I think alluding to Freddie's past crimes was a far more effective device then showing graphic child abuse. Horror films used to leave the really scary bits to our imagination, let's keep it that way.

Damn you! I'm still trying to NOT kill myself over the prospect of a My Bloody Valentine remake. As my favoritest movie EVAR (tied with Slepaway Camp) this upsets me. Why take the most perfect slasher EVAR and fuck it up?As far as Nightmare goes, maybe they can get Johnny Depp to reprise his role. It's not that much of a stretch as I'm pretty sure the 90210 kids are still playing teens somewhere. Ha ha ha! ...I, uh, hate my life.Fuck you, Michael Bay.

I'm into the idea of a prequel, but not as your typical Nightmare flick- I'm thinking something a bit more serious that leads, maybe, up to Krueger's death at the hands of the Elm Street parents.

It certainly wouldn't need any explicit child abuse, but I think Krueger's history is interesting enough that it's worth exploring. In the film series, he eventually became a wisecracking joker who could turn into a motorcycle- it's like everyone forgot he was a child molester/murderer and he became a hero of sorts.

Of course, what I'd like to see is closer to psychological horror than slasher and it probably wouldn't fly.