The Bliss Blog

Was awakened at early o’clock this morning by the welcomed sound of rain. I could hear the parched grass and plants sighing in relief. Like many places in the country, the Philadelphia area has been a bit bereft of the wet stuff. The upside to it is that I haven’t needed to mow the lawn as often. There have been times in my life during which I have felt dried out, frazzled, crunchy, lacking in the vibrant color that comes from sufficient nourishment. Some may seem circumstantial, but in retrospect, I can see that it came from witholding the cloudbursts of rain in my own life. I have done so by harsh self criticism and doubt, second guessing nearly every action, wondering if I was ‘doing the right thing’, feeling stuck in the muck and mire of previous decisions when my wise mind was on vacation, being led by my impulsive petulant child who wanted what she wanted that felt expedient at the time.

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These days, I am taking ongoing inventory throughout the day, of all of the things for which I am grateful that include listening at the moment to the lovely voice of Donna De Lory, wafting through my somewhat doze-y consciousness…remember I got up before 5 a.m. I am in pj’s, wearing a pink t-shirt that reads “Cherish the Journey” and I certainly do, remembering the steps and turns it took to get me where I am right now. In a little while, I will be meeting with friends to look at PR and marketing for our respective work. Yesterday I got together with two other creative souls to plan an empowering retreat for next year. A few months ago, this kind of schedule would not have been possible, since I was at a full time job that, while it was rewarding in many ways, also prevented me from truly living my passion and purpose which is THIS.

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Tonight I will be officiating at a wedding for a couple with whom I connected as a result of volunteering for an organization in Philadelphia called Rubye’s Kids that organizes a holiday party for 500 or so inner city children.

Tomorrow and Sunday, I will be immersed in musical magic at the XPoNential Music Fest as I am dancing, singing (probably sweating:) playing and hugging with friends.

Grateful for the showers of blessings in my life as I realize my cup runneth over.

I want patience and I want it NOW! If you are anything like me, there are times when things just aren’t happening quickly enough. Traffic, payment for services rendered, responses to emails and phone calls, my own accomplishments all seem like they move at a snail’s pace when my inner two year old is out and about. My mother used to advise “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.” and she was on target, since when I rush through something, the quality isn’t as I would have it be and I feel all churned up inside. Yesterday brought with it, just that kind of experience. I left my house in plenty of time, under normal circumstances, to get to a wedding rehearsal for a couple I will be marrying on Friday night. The ceremony is at a caterer around the corner from the suburban South Jersey town where I had grown up. I knew how to get there by heart and yet, a middle age moment kicked in and I found myself turned around several times en route. Then torrential rains came in briefly, but enough to slow traffic and then it was paradoxically named ‘rush hour'; a misnomer, I had always thought, since no one could rush anywhere. I called the groom twice on the way, to assure him that I was almost there. In the meantime, I could feel my gut churning and frustration rising. I knew that it wasn’t the energy I wanted to carry into the rehearsal, so I let out a roar in the car and embellished it with a few words not normally in my spiritual vocabularly. Boy did that feel good. I could feel the impatience dissipate as I assured myself that my calm, someone newly restored zen mood would get me there sooner and certainly saner.

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I began to listen and sing along to lovely kirtan chanting by Deva Premal and Miten which always serves to bring me to a state in which I would much prefer to dwell. I arrived about 20 minutes later than expected and everyone was fine; no one else seemed upset with my late appearance and I could forgive myself for it.

With regard to patience in other areas of my life, I have learned that accomplishments occur when they do and that when I look back at what I have done in the past year or so, I do really think that I have produced a fair amount to earn my place in the hallowed halls of ‘holy smokes that woman is busy!’ And so, in this moment, I am cutting myself some slack, offering compassion to the woman who sometimes whirls at such a pace that she whirls with tornado like speed as she instead, becomes an easy flowing stream~

I had been familiar with a profoundly simple modality called The Work of Byron Katie for many years, having interviewed the woman with the gender neutral name, who has indeed become a household name partly by virtue of her first book called Loving What Is, her appearance on Oprah and being featured in TIME Magazine. In 1986, Katie had a revelation while in the throes of depression and addiction. When she believed her thoughts, she suffered. When she didn’t believe her thoughts, she didn’t suffer and so created a four question inquiry process and added a ‘turn-around’ which asks the practitioner to turn the troubling thought every which way to determine which feels ‘true or truer’ to that person.

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1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

I had experience back in 2005, with Christopher Fromkin who is a trained facilitator of The Work, in the midst of some life challenges and he skillfully assisted me in moving through them fairly gracefully. We remain friends to this day and I thank him for his wisdom. This past Sunday had me again taking a long standing life issue to inquiry in a workshop facilitated by my friend Annabella Wood who was introduced to Katie in 1990 and became a certified facilitator in 2002. Annabella is a multi-faceted being who was newly ordained as an interfaith minister, has a handywoman biz, is a talented singer-songwriter-performer and for several decades, was a long distance truck driver. On this day, she was surrounded by 18 eager students, while wearing a way cool shirt that was embellished with a guitar and musical notes.

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The workshop began with having us complete a form that I’ve laughed about every time I have seen it over the years, because it is called Judge Your Neighbor. Since we all do that, it is an apt title. Everything we judge as being bad, wrong, not ok, can be a stumbling block to healing. I differentiate between discernment about unhealthy situations from which we might need to extricate ourselves, to out and out judging that if someone doesn’t ‘do it our way’, then they are wrong. Who hasn’t felt that way from time to time?

I watched as Annabella masterfully assisted a woman in ‘taking to inquiry’ her feelings and thoughts about a strained relationship with her sister that had impeded her for a few decades. I was amazed how Annabella really nailed some of the issues with The Work as a tool, while her intuition enhanced her perceptions. When the session with my classmate was over and Annabella inquired about who was ready to roll up their sleeves and be next, I found myself raising my hand. I had come there for that reason, not to be an observer, but to fully immerse myself in the process and come away with some gems. That I did. I also noticed some combatting thoughts…wanting to have healing and a sense of resolution and not wanting to monopolize, since I reasoned that other people likely had more pressing concerns or even trauma to process. Since that is my MO, to deflect, minimize…who me? needy? No way… it was even more urgent to step up. So I did.

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Sitting opposite Annabella, I found myself sharing that while I enjoy being center stage, I often hurry through what I have to say, especially as a workshop participant, since I hadn’t wanted to ‘take up too much time.’ It harkens back to childhood in which I relished the experience being the center of attention and ‘loved best of all’, and I didn’t want to steal anyone’s thunder. I sometimes felt I did that with my younger sister. So, I presented my issue which is about reciprocity of support and what became startlingly apparent was another set of conflicting beliefs that part of the reason I seek support is a lack of confidence in my own abilities that somehow require validation from an outside and on the surface ‘more successful’ source and a sense of resentment that I don’t always receive in kind, the support I offer. Feeling disengenuous and manipulative at times, I offer support ‘because I can’ and had expected that anyone else who could….welll……’should’ and if they didn’t, I made them wrong in my mind. As I was exploring this dynamic using The Work, I found myself with the physical manifestation of my thoughts, which included a choking up, shortness of breath, hurried speech. Annabella kindly instructed me to slow down my pace and asked the others in the room if they minded that I take my time and really get into it. Not only did they not mind, they welcomed the opportunity to see someone who has this well armored facade, let it down. It can get really heavy after awhile.

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As tears flowed and layers of guardedness fell away, I felt a sense of relief that at least for this period of time, I didn’t have to hide beyond my spiritual PC image, really getting to the nitty gritty. I know that I have more to do with this issue, but by the time the workshop was complete, I had a much clearer understanding of myself and the ways in which things just are, rather than how I think they should oughta be.

My friend Lyn Stankavage Hicks offered this wisdom that jumped off the page at me first thing this morning, that beckoned to be shared and expounded upon.

“Imagine – image in! The creative imagination is our highest tool! It has to do with images! Hold pictures of what you want to become! Yes others’ images come around but you don’t have to hold them! Let them go! The images creates feelings, emotions which are the energy moving forward!”

This description surprises me not one bit, coming from Lyn who is an artist whose primary medium is floral. She is the steward of Harmony Hill Gardens whose rolling fields yield forth such exquisite beauty that people get to bring into their own homes and events and venues. Lyn is also, I suspect, an elemental herself, since she comes across at times, as a mischievous faerie…maybe that’s one reason we are friends. Her Lotus Project brings in folks for workshops, drumming circles, concerts and classes, bridging the creative and natural worlds.

I have discovered in my own creative endeavors that what I first conjure up in my ever vividly growing imagination, I am better able to see come to fruition. I program my sleeping dreams by visualizing what I want to experience during shut-eye time and often, my nocturnal movie screen is filled with images that delight me as I see my visions play out as if I am experiencing them first hand. Who’s to say I’m not? When I wake up each morning and set my intention, I do the same thing and bring to mind specific interactions I desire, even going so far as to hear the phone ringing with certain voices on the other end, or receving emails from particular people and ta-da! more often than not, those things happen too. Are they happening because I am envisioning them or am I thinking of them because the energy of their occurrence is already in the air? I wonder if it really matters. I am image-in ing awakening each day smiling in anticipation of doing work that serves the world and delights me. I envision time with loved ones, having fun, laughing, dancing, singing, hugging, talking about what matters most. I conjure thoughts of a fit, healthy body, mind and spirit and take steps to follow through. I allow for rest and easing back, which is a new skill when I have been so used to surging forward. I visualize easy payment of bills since my financial flow is steady and plentiful. As I sit in my Imaginarium, I can see rainbows of light streaming through the windows, can hear the whisper of Spirit guiding me and know that my visions have already taken shape.

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About The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog is a delicious nibble of ideas that can help you transform your life from ordinary into truly extraordinary. You’ll find 'portable life skills' that can be put to use immediately in all aspects life--enhancing relationships, improving communication, elevating self esteem, loving the man or woman in the mirror, taking more responsibility for life choices and experiencing more pleasure. The dictionary says bliss is “extreme happiness, ecstasy, spiritual joy” It is “seventh heaven” and “walking on air.” This blog will help you have a bliss-filled life and function in a grounded way.

About the Author

Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW
Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is the host of the Blog Talk Radio show called It's All About Relationships each Thursday night from 8-9 pm on Vivid Life Radio www.vividlife.me.» Posts by Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW