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Sunday, June 07, 2015

This is pretty strong stuff.Jesus is accused of being nuts.His family is embarrassed by him.He seems to disown his own kin.This man who forgives sins right and left
says that a sin against the Holy Spirit is unforgiveable.What is going on?

Let’s tease the various strands and
questions apart a little bit.Start with
family.An enormous number of people
prize family as the chief value in their lives.Because our kinships are so important, even sacred, to us, many of us
tend to think that family must be pretty high up on God’s value scale as
well.It took me awhile to appreciate
the family I was born into.There were
times in my early life when I would gladly have bolted out of my family and
never looked back.Or so I thought.Anne, my younger daughter, once said to her
parents and sister, “You know how it is with the high school band?Kids sign up for band and stay in it until
the band takes its trip to Europe and then they are out of the band.Well, I’m in this family until we take a
Caribbean vacation, then I’m outta here.”

Truth be told, many of us have
conflicting feelings about our families.That is no surprise.Not only do
families support us, nurture us, shape us, and sustain us; they also hold us
back.Even the most liberal families are
seedbeds of conformity.How do I
know?Show me a liberal family and I
will show you a family that will go bonkers if one of the children becomes a
member of the Tea Party, a racist, a fundamentalist Christian.They may deal with it reasonably well, but it
will be a challenge.Someone once said
to me when I was in the process of coming out as a gay man, “If you choose a
path that is counter to what your relatives approve, don’t expect, no matter
how polite you are, for those relatives to stand up and applaud you.They will feel betrayed, perhaps embarrassed,
maybe defensive, and they will likely do everything in their power to pull you
back into the old familiar orbit.”

That is
what is going on with Jesus, his mother, and his siblings.He has become someone different.He is doing things that people think are
crazy.And they are embarrassed and
ashamed of him and for him.Now, of course,
not all families react the same way to nearly anything.The point here is not to bad-mouth families,
but to see how family relationships fare in the larger scheme of things.For Jesus, that “larger scheme” was what he
called the Kingdom of God.Life in the
Kingdom, which I call by its Greek word, βασιλεια, is lived by a significantly different set of standards
from “ordinary life.”And, quite
frankly, life in the βασιλεια can
seem, as it appeared to Jesus’ contemporaries, whacky.If there is one basic thing that the βασιλεια
entails it is to be real, to be authentically oneself.How do we know?Because that was what Jesus modeled above
all.Bear in mind that he spoke his
truth, he lived his truth, he embodied truth.He reinvented the whole notion of Messiah and became its
incarnation.One cannot do any of those
things very effectively while asking, “Will mom approve of this?”

And that leads us to the second
strand of this story, this improbable and mysterious statement about the sin
against the Holy Spirit.What is that
all about?Well, it is the conundrum
that one cannot simultaneously embrace and disdain the reality of spirit.To shut oneself off from the possibility that
the βασιλεια is real, that God’s power is palpably present in the world, is the
gut meaning of “sin,” which, remember, is not a moral goof-up, but an
act of separation from the Divine Will.As long as we stay in a state of negation, refusing to accept the life
and power of God, we are impervious to the very transformation that the βασιλεια involves.There is nothing very mysterious about
that.Steal yourself against love and
you won’t experience it.

The continual problem is that we
want to have our cake and eat it too.That is to say, we want—or say we want—transformation and the
accompanying passion, peace, joy, maybe even ecstasy, or who knows,
enlightenment— but we want to have it in a way that doesn’t disturb too much of
our world.That is not true for
everyone, to be sure, but it is true for a huge slice of the population who
have never quite differentiated themselves from family, tribe, society.The sad part about it all is that the Church
itself often puts a damper on life in the βασιλεια, preferring instead that we
conform to the norms and expectations that will keep us moored to familiar
behaviors and attitudes.

“Who are my mother and my brother and my sister?”asks
Jesus.“Looking around the room,
he says, “These are my mother and brothers and sisters.Those who do the will of my Abba are my
mother and brothers and sisters.”You
could read this gospel today and ask, “Where is the good news in that?”If you catch on to the truth that the will of
God in creating a community called the βασιλεια is that we be whole persons, free, honest, rooted and grounded in
love; that we be merciful, forgiving, and kind; that we respect own dignity in
body, soul, and spirit as well as that we respect the dignity of every human
being and the integrity of all creation—then it is a tall order, but one that
inspires rather than depresses us, wouldn’t you say?

All those things we have been
celebrating about Jesus between Advent through Pentecost—his incarnation, his
baptism, his own transfiguration, all the way to hisresurrection, his glorious ascension, and all
the suffering, death and grief in between—are not about him only, but about
every last one of us.They are the story
of becoming, being, and living your real life, come what may, cost what it might.You do not have to throw mud all over your
family and loved ones in order to ask seriously if conforming to roles and
expectations that others lay upon you are really what you want your life to be
about.Who are you anyway?In the end, all you have to be is yourself,
as they told me in the third grade, “your best self,” your truest self,
and you will indeed be right in line with what God wills for you—you who are
Jesus’ mother and brothers and sisters.

Frank Gasque Dunn

About Me

I am a spiritual guide (a “soul friend”), offering coaching, counseling, and support to individuals and organizations. I founded and am Executive Director of Jonathan’s Circle, a non-profit organization enabling men to realize wholeness connecting sex and spirit. Read more at thesoulinyou.com.
I was for twelve years Senior Priest of St. Stephen and the Incarnation Episcopal Church, Washington, DC. Prior to that I led parishes in North Carolina, Connecticut, and Virginia.

Welcome to The Book of Common Moments

On this blog I reflect on common moments. Some of those reflections are sermons and other things I have shaped for oral communication. Some are more precise reflections on incidents in mine and others' lives. Some are poems, short stories, essays. I invite you to join in the dialogue.

All our stories amount to an infinite number of variations on a handful of great themes. Becoming conscious of our stories is perhaps the biggest adaptive challenge for human beings. When we begin to know what stories we are telling and living, we stand a better chance of choosing those stories that are true.

Do not believe it because someone said it, or because it is in a book, or because you read it on the internet, or because that is what you were taught in school, church, temple, or Boy Scouts. Believe it only when you have tested it in your own life and find that you can affirm it in the deepest part of your soul.

Destiny

Your soul knows the geography or your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.