I would give full marks to a decorator who said, "I can't do it exactly like that." To have someone say, "Sure, I can replicate that cake," and produce something so far off the mark is just wwong on so many wevels.

But twue wuv is in my heart for CakeWrecks and Princess Bride references!

I really wasn't a bridezilla or anything, but as the inspiration cakes are so lovely and give the statement, "I am not redneck white trash, make my wedding a day to remember" and the actual cakes scream "I HAVE NO TASTE AND THE PBRs ARE IN THE COOLER BY THE DANCE FLOOR"... I think I would have freaked out and possibly spent my wedding night in jail for physically assaulting the person who have the guts to deliver those cakes to my wedding...

I'm not sure what's wrong with the gold cake, other than it's a LOT gold-er than the "inspiration" cake (actually, I think it looks better with more gold... but I don't havea close up so maybe I'm missing something). And at least the two chocolate ganache ones looked tasty. (OK, I confess, I'm of the "if it's chocolate all is good" school of taste-buds!).

I think the first 'wreck' wasn't so bad (definitely not as pretty as the model cake, but still), considering some of the wreckier cakes I've seen here. And the airbrush one would have been a beautiful cake if someone had just hidden the decorator's airbrush. Kind of a shame to ruin it like that, but I guess that keeps this site running!

Ok, so I'm with V above me here. The first wreck is slightly more forgivable than the others because at least you can tell what the inspiration was. The others on the other hand? Who knew that a cake could look antiqued? Oh the things I learn on this site!

Even if the thrid Missed Mark had turned out well, I still would consider it a wreck for that dang "Bride dragging the groom to the alter" topper. I HATE those; I think they're the tackist thing ever!!!!

my ...GOODNESS...................................................................................................(Man. There are just some times when you wish you were DRUNK.)I laughed so hard that our cats and our dog were tilting their heads at me.The first *replicant* isn't toooo bad, as long as you don't actually see what it's SUPPOSED to look like first. (THEY obviously didn't!) The second one, though. They have GOT to be kidding! It looks like PLASTIC! The bottoms cut off of black garbage buckets wedged together with.. with..????More PLASTIC!! That's IT!That last REAL cake-chocolatey, sprinkled-with-flowers oh-so delicately- is GORGEOUS, period. But the...but the...but the...Oh, hell.The random sprinklingness of the tiny "flowers" is the only thing they had even CLOSE to mediocre.It's all downhill after that, what with the plastic, tangly vine, and the shiny...leaning...blobs...Someone dragged that in for ME to look at-?- I'd think it was a big old pile of moose poop, fresh out of the woods.Pitiful. =^G.G^=

Pardon but I have a question/soap box... Why do they make such awful wedding toppers and make them in mass? At Walmart last night I noticed the same topper that is on that wreck. AND THERE WERE 12 OF THEM in stock right there! Surely the average bride doesn't want to be dragging her man to the alter on her cake and the average groom doesn't want his sweet bride pushing him around before the reception rice is thrown. Really is this a good idea?

I see several possible instances where the original cake was done in fondant with gum paste flowers...sometimes brides ask for buttercream instead, and you have to be really REALLY good to achieve the one look using the other medium.

Looks to me that the brides to their inspirational pictures to amateur cake artists, so they can get a cheaper cake, and expected the same results. I'm sure the cake decorators did their best with what experience they have.

Mel said... "After seeing the resulting cake I keep hearing that muted trombone go: "Wah wah wahhhhh..." '******OH, TOO PERFECT!!!! (Now I'LL be hearing that every time, too!) There should be a sound clip attached to all of those "Not Quite There" results. wouldn't that be fun???=^~.~^=

As a wedding planner, it truly hurts my heart to know those brides were disappointed to have received those wrecks instead of their inspiration...and double shame on those cake designers who said they could duplicate those cakes...not even close {I'm no cake baker but I bet I could do a better job - that's saying a lot!}

I saw the link via your facebook page, and this post is worth coming out of lurking to comment on. Princess Bride is by far the best movie EVER for one-liners. I just wonder 2 things: when the bride requested the cake, did the decorator say "As you wish"? And when the cake was delivered, did the decorator then say "EVERYBODY MOVE"?

I kinda feel bad for the brides, but I'm guessing they're taking a picture from a magazine of a cake that probably costs $1000 and then expecting a less experienced baker to do it for cheaper. On the other hand, the bakers need to tell them if what they want is beyond their realm of expertise.

Some of these really aren't horrible; definitely not what they're supposed to be but certainly not wrecks. Others, however.... eeeeek. Of course, considering that my mother got my wedding cake from Costco and the decorations from Wal-Mart (loooong story involving a wedding I had to plan from across the country -- bottom line, don't let someone else plan your wedding unless you're VERY pushy and VERY specific about what you want!), anything looks better to me than what I ended up with!

On a personal note, I did get in trouble for rhyming once. I couldn't understand why my Art teacher threatened to send me to the Principal's office if I didn't stop rhyming...with my friends...at our own table...while we were working productively...not being disruptive at all! I guess Mrs. M was actually Sicilian.

This was my wedding. I showed the baker a gorgeous cake with basket-weave-looking icing and fresh flowers on it ("Oh, yes, I can do that! It will be so pretty!"), and I got a plain white cake with sad, grandmotherly silk flowers poked into it.

HAH! The funniest thing about this post is that a friend and I were definitely messaging Princess Bride quote back and forth the other day! Inconceivable! I don't think it means what you think it does.

The first inspiration cake looks like the folds of a beautiful satin wedding dress. What they got looks like toilet paper draped around the cake.

I sometimes wonder if people who order cakes actually look at the photos of cakes the bakers have done in the past (not just some sample book). If there isn't anything that looks remotely like the quality you are looking for, DON'T ORDER!!! It's that simple. You get what you pay for.

Yay! Pairing my wreck with my favorite movie does take a bit of the sting out! :)

I'm actually the bride with that first cake in her wedding album. Unfortunately, we did pay close to a thousand for that "not too bad" thing. What you're not seeing (because my florist and photographer did their best to hide it) is the fact that the "fabric" detail is only tacked onto the front and the back end is actually sinking in on itself (in an air-conditioned room, no less!).

The bakery had multiple examples of their work (in photos and in person), and they all looked positively scrumptious. I think we just wound up with either the new guy or a sub.

Death (or horribly mangled wedding cakes) cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a little while. (while you scream at the wreckerator!) Love this blog and the Princess Bride references were "icing on the cake!"

Im sorry but these are ALL cake wrecks. This is a wedding cake people - no one wants a cake that kinda sorta is like their dream cake. If you cant do a decent draping tell them to go somewhere else. ugh. In a perfect world you really only get one wedding cake in a lifetime - that being the case these are serious fails. Its not like you can say last years birthday cake was bad but this years was so much better.

@Stephanie M.That sucks. But I like to imagine the decorator saying this while they were making your cake:

"You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the story books say. And so I think no one in a century will suffer as greatly as you will."

Jen - I love you. If you lived closer we would definitely be friends. You make me laugh with all your inside jokes, that really, no one but me should know, and yet you say them all the time. Makes me smile. Thank you.

I think that first, drape-y cake isn't a wreck. It doesn't look as perfect as the picture, but it looks very good. The bride in that case picked a very fancy and difficult cake and got something which obviously the baker put a lot of effort and skill into, which actually did resemble her picture, and I think it's silly of her to be claiming it's a wreck.

Surely you're not lacking in real wrecks here? That one wasn't ugly or funny; it seems kind of nitpicky to call it a wreck.

On the other hand, that black and blue shiny cake is a nightmarish excrescence of sugar. Shudder. Whoever got that one must have had quite the expression on her face when she beheld it.

That was a thousand(ish) dollar cake? Wow, yeah, that's a wreck. It'd be excusable coming from someone who does cakes once in a while, and is a friend of the bride's aunt, so she only charged half her normal rate, and the bride just insisted... But from a very expensive place? Wow.

Really, the biggest problem with the gold-airbrushing one is that there doesn't seem to be any gold airbrushing at all in the inspiration. The gold is in the background of the photo, behind the cake. Which makes me the wreckorator looked at the photo, threw it away, and went off to do the cake. And then when they were almost done, they thought, "Wasn't there some gold on this?"

My wv is "hateds". I have nothing to add to that. Except I was hoping it would be "blave".

My thought on looking at the cake with the two plastic characters ?"I would jump of this horrible gooey thing too, buddy !"Thank you for the laugh, Jen :)- NaomiWV : ostediOn Wednesday, you get Weddings Wrecks, on Ostedi, you get Divorce Wrecks :D

*LOL* Ok, I have to share:For our wedding, we had the minister start our ceremony with the opening lines from the wedding in the Princess Bride. We'd had friends threaten to do it for months, and they were all in shock when the minister did it, speech impediment and all. Totally hilarious. Funnier, I had family that hadn't seen the movie, and thought something went wrong with the minister. Double funny!

Most of those cakes aren't that bad. They're not perfect replicas, sure, but they're still nice-looking cakes that were close. I'll bet the brides went to some cheap place like Walmart with fancy, hundred dollar cakes saying, "make this" not thinking about the fact that your average baker isn't at the level of the cakes they wanted.

But still, you quoted the Princess Bride so I'm distracted enough to move on.

Honestly, this is a public service you are doing for all future brides, grooms, mothers thereof, and bakers wearing targets on their white jackets. You have no idea what kind of potential there is for things to go wrong at a wedding until you have gone through it, and by then it's too late.

Don't ask a beer baker for a champagne cake. Also, beware the kindly offer of a free wedding cake from a non-professional baker unless you are prepared to see it beneath a banner of Carrot Jockeys! It's worth the cost of the cake to not have to forgive someone who meant well and tried real hard. Or, who did what they could do once they figured out that what you asked for was beyond their capabilities.

wv : immene. "Did that cake melt on the way here? Immene, you did a wonderful job on that shiny cake, Bea!"

First one: Actually not too bad. A little clumsy but it's a pretty reasonable facsimile thereof.

The rest, wow. Just...wow. The phrase "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" comes to mind. So wrecky that they'd even make Princess Buttercup lock herself in the castle garderobe and wail.

SO glad I dodged the wrecky bullet at my wedding. The bakery DID forget the topper (our initials that I'd dressed up with crystals--not very expensive) but it looked all right anyway. Maybe they were going to put them on and thought, "No, it'll be a wreck if we put these on!" =D

PRINCESS BRIDE!! Jen, I LOVE you!! Seriously, this post was so hilarious! I just about had turkey sandwich all over my monitor with the "stand your ground" Comment paired with the topper on that cake. too funny! All those poor brides.

wv: disors - short for the disortors all these wrecks were on a wedding day!

I haven't commented in a while, but I just had to tell you how much I love you. I can not get enough of the commentary on every post, and this one is one of the best. Seriously, both Jen and John (hubby of Jen)... You. Are. AWESOME.

Good grief, those of you saying "obviously the bride was just cheap or didn't do her homework" are jerks. Bride #1 already posted that she paid nearly $1000 to get something that IS NOT what she asked for.

For my wedding, I went with THE person in the area who was highest recommended, I checked out her work beforehand, and I paid what she was asking for my cake. It came with columns I hadn't asked for--that were wobbly--and the top toppled before we even had the ceremony. Fortunately, 1) my sister in law did a great job saying it, and 2) that was the only disaster at my wedding, so I'm not complaining much. But blaming the bride because someone else screwed up or did a poor job is just mean AND stupid.

~ ~ ~

Sorry, Jen, I don't think there's a pic of the toppled cake, or I would definitely submit it.

Usually, I give thumbs up to the amateur baker who says: Of course I can do this!Reading the comments - the only cake where I would say caution, not for every baker comes from expensive bakery. WOW!All the others are sad cakes, because the baker was simply to lazy to give their best. Even a half blind Aunt Maud would see this and try to correct her wreck. I wouldn't expect perfect cake but even an inexperienced decorator can present decent work - it takes only some time and dedication. And buy the flowers if you cannot make them yourself, or explain the bride silk or real ones are the way to go!

To the blame-the-bride-ers:Not everyone can afford an extravagant wedding. If your daddy paid for a $10000 one for you, nice for you. Research does not equal results as promised, some people claim results they can't or don't deliver. I got a beautiful and delicious 3 tier cake for under $300 from Publix. Many of these wrecks cost way more than that. Saying that anyone "deserves" crap like this on their wedding day because they aren't rich like you is exceptionally RUDE.

Also, I theorize that the people who don't get "inspiration" and "what they got" must be decowreckers in real life.

Alex

Ps. I looove these wanted/delivered wreck posts. My fave alltime is still the "plaid" Inspiration vs Perspiration.Pps. Didn't appear to post so disregard if it did twice (didn't get my "your comment..." Response.

For the third one, I have a hunch that whoever took the design in to the decorator, took it in and said something to the effect of: I want it to look like this, BUT......all buttercream, fondant; no inedible parts, so no ribbon, no flowers; must make buttercream flowers.So really, she didn't ask for the first cake at all...especially if she went in with a request to replace that flower topping with a tacky figurine of a bride yanking her groom around topper.Decorator may not have executed 100%, but whoever ordered that is more than likely to blame, too.

I will say, that after reading this blog, when I got married a few weeks ago, I was so excited to see my cake. It searched so hard and worked on the design. I figured it it came out as beautiful as the inspiration drawing, GREAT! And if it turned out fugly, GREAT (send it in to cakewrecks).It turned out gorgeous. :)

Perhaps the (wrecky) bakers were from Guilder. Or maybe they should be sent back to where they were, unemployed, in Greenland!

Clearly, these brides fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this: Never go to Walmartwhen CAKE is on the line.A-ha-ha-ha! A-ha-ha-ha! A-ha-ha-ha! *THUD!* - joules, with thanks to http://scripts.popbang.co.uk/p/princess_bride/index.php

Best post ever! The Princess Bride is my FAVORITE movie. That and Star Wars.

Although, a couple of the "wrecks" were actually not so bad. Not as good as the inspiration cake, but not so bad. Specifically, the one with the red roses (the first one) and the white/gold one with the blossoms all over it.

Although I do feel bad for the brides that get 'wrecked'... it makes me wonder 1) what kinds of bakeries they're taking these photos to and 2) whether said bakery exhibits the ability to create a cake like that. Cos, with a less expensive bakery... that's about the result one should expect :D

I really only see problems with the second and the fourth. The ugly one with the blue, and the chocolate one. The gold on the third might be a little dark. And the one other cake was not too bad really, except for the topper. Number one, I don't see anything wrong with.

You know what I noticed? Most of the "inspiration" cakes are in fondant, and the wreck was tried to be recreated in buttercream. Now, as any good decorator knows, you can't do NEARLY as much in buttercream, and even for the things you CAN replicate, you have to be extremely skilled.

The first one with the draping really isn't that bad considering. Making a fondant drape look good is surprisingly tricky, especially on a large scale like that, so unless you're willing to pay big bucks for an excellent decorator it's not going to happen.

For our wedding we went to the cake place, looked through thousands of pictures, picked one, paid $300 (which also included a couple of hundred very lovely invitations) and on our wedding day the cake, looking identical to the photograph, arrived.

I never knew how thankful I should be!!!! And to Stephanie M. (cake #1) you have my condolences. May your marriage be as beautiful as your cake was disappointing!

I don't care if these cakes aren't as wrecktastically awful as some of the other inspiration vs. perspiration wedding cakes, the Princess Bride commentary is wonderfully awesome. To log on to find this a day after a Star Wars quotation competition with friends on Facebook is making this one fantastic week.

Cake #2: I think a "decorator" would really have to work very hard to make that one as ugly and hopeless as it appeared. Also, did you notice that the top tier is sitting on a very obvious foil-covered board of its own?

Cake #4 ( the gold cake): Part of the beauty of the inspiration cake was the fact that it was so "dream-like": white cake, white flowers drifting down from the top, posed on a white fragile-looking pedestal which is sporting a pretty bow. The cake plate has a gold ring around its surface, which is what probably inspired its creator to add "just a touch" of gold.

The disaster cake however, looks heavy and anything but dream-like. The big tarnished silver base on which it is sitting adds to the ugliness of this particular cake and helps make it look HEAVY. Silver does not match anything on that cake whether the silver is tarnished or brand new gorgeous.

I would seriously like to know the reactions of the brides to these cakes (especially #2) upon seeing them.

OMG. I don't know what's funnier, the actual post or the commentary today! you guest posters are spot on with your Princess Bride comments today! Bravo!

Let me try:Baker to MOB as she hears commotion from the bakery kitchen: I'm explaining to you because you look nervous. Mother-of-the-Bride: I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing. (she leaves)

Bakery owner to loose-cannon wreckerator, demanding he turn over the piping bag: For the last time, surrender! Wreckerator: DEATH FIRST! ----------------------------OR

Wreckerator: Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what? Wreckerator's friend who's been making wise-ass comments: I just want you to feel you're doing well. Bakery owner storms in and turns on the wreckerator: And you-- friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland! (Baker storms out)

Friend: That Baker, he can *fuss*. Wreckerator: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*. Friend: Probably he means no *harm*. Baker: He's really very short on *charm*.

not my gift today, folks. But thanks for the warnings anyway, of what "my" wedding cake may look like, if I live to see it before being strangled on my wedding night.

--Princess Buttercream

wv: menate. The menate the cakes no matter what they looked like. But the bride was still upset at the ugliness of the wrecks.

Good for you for having such a great attitude, and to your photographer and florist for making the cake look as good as it does. Your baker didn't get to keep the whole $1000 quoted for the cake I hope!

Actually, the much criticized "tarnished silver thing" under the gold airbrushed mess appears to be the same stand as under the inspiration photo for the first draped cake with roses. Guess it goes to show that a poorly-executed cake can even make the stand look bad!

And the plastic ivy wrapped around the last one...good grief!

My condolences to these poor brides on receiving such deceptively promised cakes!

To be honest, I didn't think the first one was all that bad...other than what appeared to be the leaves on the bottom being half-swallowed by the cake. All in all, not bad, I don't think. The rest of them, though, well...

You totally read my mind- my fiance and I are avidly planning our wedding (coming next year) and keep joking with each other that we should ask our pastor to begin the ceremony just like in the movie. We can't decide if more people will crack up laughing or be seriously confused and if our parents will get the joke or not.

I have to confess a very tragic thing: I am the ONE person in. the. entire. WORLD... who has not once ...ever...seen..

*ducks for cover*

...that...movie.

(!!!!!!!)I just couldn't keep such an agonizing secret inside anymore!!!!

I feel like such a leper. (((SIGH!)))

Is there a Losers Anonymous around here???I MUST SEE THAT THING! (But even without the whole story, that clip cracked me up!)I hope I'm not banned from coming here after this!Okay, that's it--it's out. Time to crawl back under my rock...=^u.u^=

Just started reading your blog - at the urging of a friend who thought I would like it. .. .so glad I did! Your humor is awsome - your comments - I bow to the sarcasm queen! I occationally do cakes for extra money and I have been fortunate to not have any "wrecks"(knock on wood)- unless you count my brothers wedding cake colapsing 2 minuted from the location! Anyway - love your comments, love your blog - it is one of only 2 I follow. Keep it coming!And HUGE points for the awsomely accurate Princess Bride reference!

I think a lot of the agony could be avoided if people would just lighten up. Yah~easy for me to say, right?But, think about it: a wedding is SUPPOSED to be a couple's Happiest Day of their LIVES...yet we see (ESPECIALLY here!) that they can become huge stress-fests, loaded to the gills with details and precision and anxiety and the obligatory blood, sweat, tears, and MONEY. Okay, leave out the blood. But still, if I were ever to do it again (I'd have to get my husband's approval first), I'd wear my green, flower-patterned clown suit (which, btw, was handmade for me). We'd have hot dogs and hamburgers and CUPCAKES, and-and...OH! It would be on the 4th of July so we'd have a built-in parade in our honor, and fireworks!What could be easier? Huh? Huh?=^~.~^=

Question: Who actually wrote the post? John posted it, but did Jen write it? Or did John? Is there an easy way for us to tell who wrote it? Or do we just enjoy the hilarious commentary without worrying about the author?

These are great...but the writing is what always makes me ROTFL!!!! Love it, love it, love it!!!And if I were the bride receiving these cakes, I would be saying....MY NAME IS KATIE FRIEND...YOU KILLED MY CAKE! PREPARE TO DIE!!! ;)Katie, Rawlins WY

Unfortunately, yes, they did get to keep the entire $900 and change. I guess I now know why they expected full payment in advance, eh? What's funny is the fact that it was my husband that insisted on this particular cake, too. I really wanted something a whole lot simpler that didn't need to be made with fondant, as I simply abhor the taste of fondant. So, basically I just blamed him and moved on. :D

Toilet paper, bandages... very apt descriptions in my book!

As for the PB quotes:

1) Wrecker! Polish my cake stand! I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

2) Wrecker: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost cake decorators. Is there a village nearby?

Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles.

Wrecker: Then there will be no one to hear you scream at our questionable taste.

3) Wrecker: I have a piping bag up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to put poo balls on your cake.

These are just awful...the second cake being the absolute worst in my opinion, it's such a stretch and so poorly made. My God. (How does one get black/white/blue, from brown/white/pink?? Who would request such a modification?? It's just bad bad bad.)

All I can say is for that second cake .. if that wreckerator even dared show his/her face at my wedding with that they had best be prepared for a long chase with a fire ax lol. Ugh how terrible. I really hope they got a refund on that mess of a cake.

Yup, the first one - not so wrecky. But certainly not so elegant. I think the saddest were the last one (chocolate with awful flowers) and the one that was supposed to look quilted. Of course, purple icing is never a good idea, so it was doomed from the start. (our wedding cake had a blue ribbon because we knew no one would want to eat blue icing!)

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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