Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'd like three four-inch sandwiches, please

Brett and I attempted to use a discount card that we had purchased from the local high school at Subway the other night. The discount was "Buy one 6-inch sandwich and a 32-ounce drink and receive one 6-inch sandwich FREE." I thought that since we were both pretty hungry, we might be able to buy more and save more, so I asked the girl behind the counter...

Me: I know this is for a 6-inch sub, but if we bought two drinks, could we use it for two footlongs instead?

Her: No. It has to be a 6-inch sandwich.

Me: I gotcha. That makes since because if we did that we'd essentially be using the card twice in one visit.

Her: --

Me: So, anyway, we'll get a footlong ham and cheese and one six-inch pastrami...and a 32-ounce drink.

Her: And what would you like your other 6-inch sub to be?

Me: Huh? Nothing. Just one footlong and one 6-inch.

Her: You can't do that. They both have to be 6-inch subs.

Me: Well, I'm getting at footlong, part of which is the first 6-inch sub, and then the second 6-inch sub is free. I'm still paying for at least one (actually two) 6-inch sandwiches.

Her: You can't do that. They both have to be 6-inch subs.

Me: *blink* *blink* But I am buying 6-inch subs...

Her: You need to buy two 6-inch subs.

Me: I am. I am buying three 6-inch subs...

Her: You can't do that. The discount is only good two 6-inch subs.

Me: So, I can't buy more than two? I don't want an additional discount. I just want one free 6-inch sub. Just call it three 6-inch subs instead of a footlong and a 6-inch.

Her: --

Me: *deep breath* Okay, how about I buy a footlong for me and a footlong for my husband and, of course, a drink. Will I have enough sandwich credits then?

Her: It has to be 6-inch subs.

Me: Mine is a footlong so just ignore that. Imagine that he is getting two 6-inch sandwiches. They are just the same kind of sandwich. And they are on the same piece of bread. You can cut them apart and wrap them separately if that makes you feel better.

Her: You still need two 6-inch subs.

Brett finally steps in...

Brett: Okay, my wife will have a footlong ham and cheese and I'll have a 6-inch pastrami and a 6-inch Reuben.

Her: *beaming* Great! What kind of bread would you like?

I can't tell if she was just not very bright or if she knew that she could scam us into buying another six inches of sandwich by playing dumb. Either way, our discounted dinner turned out to be over $13. For that money, we could have bought two whole pizzas with the same discount card and probably had leftovers the next day. It certainly would have been less hassle.

And another thing I hate about Subway, while I'm on the topic, do they just assume that we all eat there enough that they don't show which meats come on each sandwich on the menu? I mean, Meatball Marinara and Ham and Cheese are easy enough, but am I really supposed to know what comes on a Coldcut Combo or a Spicy Italian Sub? Are these sandwiches so common that they need no introduction? Would it kill them to give me a heads-up so I can make a decision without holding up the line?