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It was Roy's Birthday this week and she had a 'do' at the Rovers (where else apart from the Bistro?) and Hayley sings Karaoke with Sean and Fizz - they sing the 'Three Degrees' song, "#when will I see you...Again...!"

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Hayley is having nightmares about being trapped back in her old gender role of 'Harold' and decides to call her son to make things right before she dies.

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Earlier she spoke with Fizz about her dreams, and she mentions Amsterdam, when Fizz asks about why there are tulips on her charm bracelet.

"Or Roy bought it for me its a souvenir of when he traveled to Holland to find me - where she had her surgery..."

Until today thats probably the last time I saw them kiss on the lips (but even then its like two 6 year-olds having a peck). Yet the other characters are 'at it' all the time. Even the bed scene with Roy and Hayley (yes we get to see the bedroom set no doubt built for her to die in later) we see them sat bolt upright and she tests Roy on the Highway Code, she wants him to learn to drive. Just reminded me of 'Morecombe and Wise' in bed together or 'Stan and Olly'.

I can honestly say I have been in the unusual position of observing trans-life day in and day out for decades and I have never met anyone like Hayley. For obvious reasons. Something has always been missing from her portrayal and thats depth. You cannot recall feelings and emotions you do not have or do not understand, and although actors are paid to 'pretend' you cannot do the impossible. Black me up as much as you like but I will never know the pain of 70s racism. I can pretend, but it would just be ridiculous.

Even Lauren Harries is unusual maybe even as much as the Hayley Character (but in a different way) but unlike Lauren where there is 'truth' in her core identity, I am struggling a bit to feel emotional about the scribblings of a non-trans writer who is clawing about trying to find something trans to help end it all - flashing back to being Harold? And I do not care if they 'phone a friend' who may or may not be trans for pointers - it is not the same.

Seriously, not all transgender people feel so badly about who they were, many trans see the person pre-transition as the exact same person they have always been except with hormones and surgery and female (or male accoutrements and paraphernalia) HATING the old them is seen by many as just absurd as that poor sod is the person who had to carry the misery, and maybe deserves some respect rather than abuse? Maybe they were the hero carrying the new you across the battle ground to safety?

This is why the writers made a wrong turn, as the person to make peace with is not her son, it is herself!

But we shall see how it pans out.

I make no secret of the fact I am transsexual and My own mother died of Pancreatic Cancer before my very eyes, I nursed her to her last breath (the very same disease Hayley is dying from). So for me A DOUBLE WHAMMY!!! I could not be better placed than this to observe this issue and report on it.

A transsexual dying of Pancreatic Cancer - I doubt anyone is better placed than I, to critique this.

Nevertheless, it has been clear to me for at least the last decade that Hayley should have been played by a transwoman from day one. But society would not and still does not tolerate such things.

So the idea that Coronation St has made progress in the area is nonsense, as they themselves never employed a transperson other than background material during some episodes 18 months ago with Marcia (who was axed and abused daily by critics scroll back through this thread to read more on Marcia).

Hayley is a dying character (literally!), a 'bio female' actress, who has made a very nice living playing a transsexual for 15 years. The last mention of her being trans was once with Roy's Mother 2 years ago, and then with Mary in the Camper earlier this year when she thought she was having an affair with Roy.

And thats what in 3 years?

Whilst I understand that 'normality' is sought by many transwomen especially, truth is, Hayley is very odd in that street, and always has been. People speak of Role-Models. Who seriously would want to be Hayley? What young trans woman 18 is looking at Hayley and thinking, "YES, YES PLEASE!!!" The fact Hayley is in reality Julie, a mother (has given birth) just further impacts on the distance here. Most actors who have personal knowledge of an issue can bring something extra to the table, a Black actor can deal with a racist storyline far better than say a white guy blacked-up doing the same thing.

The sad thing is I have been saying this for years, and it has taken that long for people like Candis Cayne or the wonderful role of Sophia in 'Orange is the New Black' viewtopic.php?f=16&t=3901 to be valued and encouraged to step forward and what a difference it makes to a story, authentic, believable, and fascinating.

Now, today when we put the two dramas side-by-side we can see just how absurd non-transpeople playing trans roles now look. I know in time this will become as ridiculous as blacking-up and Browning-up in time. But we still are not there yet.

WHY NOT? If there is one thing I will press for it is transpeople in UK Dramas even if my fingers bleed and my voice gets hoarse arguing for it!

Will I shed a tear for Hayley - not really. I see it as clearing the decks. Julie did her best and it was just a job...and maybe thats the problem? I think Julie is a kind person, but maybe in some other role? Let's wait and see what the future holds for her?

With a transperson it is their life! With an actor its something they do until their next job, otherwise the next role for Julie would be another transsexual, and thats not going to happen is it?

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

So Hayley goes in search of her estranged son Christian. Who doesn't turn up at their rendezvous in a Bury Cafe - they decided to meet there after he called her back after getting her voicemail message, but wanted 'neutral ground'..

Later he does finally arrive unexpected at their Cafe and they almost didn't meet - I think they call that 'jeopardy' in scripts.

Hayley talks to him but does not let on she has cancer,

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They then retire to the Rovers Return Pub (so they can walk out on him - they can't walk out on him in their flat ) where he says he has children of his own making Hayley a grandmother.

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He says he never invited her to his wedding because it would have been a 'circus'...

Roy gets angry.

Hayley looks at their photos of the two children.

"They are sweet," she says...

"I would love to have met them..."

Christian looks uncomfortable...

"Maybe in time"...he says.

Roy says, "that's the twelfth of never then!"

Christian assumes there is plenty of time to build bridges not realising Hayley has months to live.

Christian says, "you think this is easy for me, to tell my kids your grandfather is now your grandma!"

"I need time to adjust."

Roy stands up to him...

Christian retorts, "I know this is all normal for you but in the real world..."

Roy - "as opposed to the circus we inhabit?"

He and Hayley then leave.

Hayley - "Be a good dad!"

Christian (Aggressively) - Couldn't be any worse than you if I tried!

Hayley - "You have made this much easier for me" [For her and Roy to leave].

Not a bad plot and realistic (for once), but if Christian comes around with the kids as she dies holding her hand I will then see this as dumb. In reality this is likely how things will remain. Only finding out after she has gone she was ill.

But soaps rarely work like this, there is a reason for everything, a bit like loading a gun, they have to fire it sooner or later. Is Christian a bullet? We shall see.

Most moving part was Roy embracing Hayley and they came close to some tonsil tennis at one point. Probably the first time I have seen a kiss beyond the usual hugs or pecks or infantile playground stuff. Shame they didn't up the ante with this pair 10 years ago when they started to flag trans-wise. Maybe they will make up for lost time. But this is a weakness as much as a strength, as it shows, that with a bit more passion Hayley may have actually had more to get her teeth into. And a lot of opportunities have been wasted.

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

The first was her insistence that he learn to drive and keep up the lessons. That's starting to get old... They joke that their car 'Woody' (an old Morris Traveler) was a killing machine that Roy should not be in-charge of! And that if he learns to drive Hayley will take on her greatest fear - watching a puppet-show!

The second was them watching a 'Rom-Com' with the 'Blue Danube' playing (what is the Royalty situation with that ) we did see the TV screen... and Roy was explaining the film to Hayley, saying that the man in the film could not tell his love immediately he loved her because he was shy and it took time for him to realise that this person was his soul-mate...

A metaphor obviously for Hayley and his love for her.

This is all charging the tear ducts for the nation of course.

Hayley said she wants to travel a bit before she 'goes'... When asked where, Blackpool and the Lake District...

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

Hayley's designer death continues, and surprise surprise as I mentioned a few weeks back the bedroom set was built for good reason, she has revealed this week that she wants to die at home. Well ITV are not going to that expense for another bod in Weatherfeild General. you can't move in there now for Characters on drips. (Nick is recovering from a head inury).

It was leaked a couple of weeks back that they had already filmed her an Roy dancing in the Blackpool Ballroom - one of the things on her Bucket List. And not a dry eye in the house.

This week we see Roy keeping his surprises secret, Hayley wants to know, he won't tell so that was dragged out for about an hour :\

Then Roy nearly knocks over Steve in the Morris Traveller (Woody) - as you do...

Hayley decides she needs specialist support and attends a cancer support group. Transgender Support Groups have always been conspicuous by their absence in her life, but Cancer - bring it on!

We are then met with a couple who they befriend there, they really did ham it up, (overacting). They had a good laugh about having cancer, laughed about the buns not being covered up - well it doesn't matter we are all going to die - hooray!

I speak with experience here as my mum passed away from Pancreatic Cancer - so the reality of this would be less orchestrated, truth is tomorrow she might feint, go to bed and never get out. But Soaps do not work like that, they need their 'build' the damp handkerchief on the king's head as he lies on the battle-field..."the money is buried in the"... Fade to black!

People all deal with illness in different ways, most put on a brave face for loved ones. "Don't you worry about me I will be alright - see look at me laughing."

Yeah we have all seen that with many transfolk who are dying inside.

So far I think its a bit cr*ppy tbh. Hayley farting about whilst Roy learns to drive. Stretching out a comment for an hour... The one reason I prefer 'Coronation St' to 'Eastenders' was because they just got on with it! You know when someone is about to say something and they are interrupted for about 3 weeks - JUST SAY IT!

Corrie has historically always done that. But lately they are now stretching things a little. It to me demonstrates that they have run out of ideas.

I will keep you posted.

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"You seem very upbeat with it all!"

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"Yeah that's me...How long have you got?!"

Thank goodness for the Omnibus of this series every Saturday- that's all I can say DVR anybody?

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.

She meets her friends (from the cancer support group), they ask if she has any kids, she says, "one son". They say, "Oh so you were married before?" Hayley looks sheepish, and says, "no," they then say, "oh you old devil I didn't think you were the type or had it in you."

This was a good bit of writing, as it was subtle and it addresses a very awkward situation transpeople face regarding children. As you either tell the truth, you are trans or have had them 'before' or make up some infertility story, and that can be worse as you are then pittied.

Later

Roy Passes his Driving Licence theory test.

Roy takes dancing lessons from Norris in the Kabin Newsagents - and is caught by Rita - this gag only works if you get caught! - so he can surprise Hayley with a trip to The Blackpool Tower Ballroom.

They visit Blackpool - we see the sights, we see the trams, we see the 'illuminations'. Riy explains how they function and that they were the first with overhead wires cos of the sand and seawater damaged the tracks...etc...

The Ballroom is shut for maintenance so they go to a fortune teller - Alice Barry from Shameless.

She turns over the DEATH card, so as she is the mother of the manager of the Tower Ballroom, she pulls some strings to get them an hour.

Yeah right!

The organist pops up (he must be on double-time and smoke appears. She must have great confidence in her Tarot reading skills that's all I can say!

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Anyways Roy dances with Hayley, they Foxtrot about a bit and end with Fish and Chips on the seafront.

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So its all very positive

Hayley then breaks the news to Roy she wants to end her own life before she gets too ill and in pain, after seeing her friend also suffering from cancer go into a coma with it.

Roy is not happy, and will probably end up being charged - this whole Dignitas Clinic right to die issue is on the agenda.

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Roy - "Its not easy to kill yourself!" "Are you going to gas yourself in the Woody?!" I don't know why that's funny but it is

"You want me to put a pillow over your face?!!!" (Stop Roy this is meant to be serious! )

Roy - I have attempted suicide! All coming back to you now is it - you stopped me - Hypocrite!"

Hayley - "Just say she took her life, she took control, I want to die as Hayley, a woman, I don't want to risk being taken back to Harold!"" When I hallucinate, it will be as a boy hiding in the toilet! As Harold frightened of me dad! I won't have visions of bike rides to Alderly Edge!"

Yeah this is OK and something different, I think this is important to remind people that she has lived a difficult life. But as we see later the Coronation Street Script writers tend to ignore all of this.

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Hayley - "It's battered and scared and tired, but I fought for this body!"

Fizz - "Hayley you are scaring me!"Hayley - "I just wanted Roy to see things through my eyes!"Tyrone - Yesterday you were on top of the world!Hayley - I know!Fizz - Hey you can be again....

[ENDS]

HOWEVER!

There is always something that ruins everything and Corrie despite all this effort they script a line that was unnecessary and said earlier, and undoes all this hard work, it is like Hayley was never there. In reality if you were friends with her if you were working with her (and Michelle was) all these years you would never say this line, in the same way you would not use racist words if you worked with black people.

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Michelle to Steve in the Rovers - "Good times? What like the time you went to Malta with Eileen and necked that Tranny!"Steve - "He was very convincing!"

TRANNY....Misgendering...Fine job! If they cannot even see the folly in this? This is not the first time they have delved back into saying tranny either, Coronation St has a bad form on this as she was part of this conversation last year. Tranny was said in in this episode about the same issue here. It is just an excuse to say it!

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." M.Mead

Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." - J.P.Sartre.