Siem Reap is not i assume indicative of Cambodia and so – as it seems a rather nice place with really only nominal levels of tourist harassment and where we were free and safe to wonder the streets into town of an evening – it might be necessary to attempt a second visit to get a more rounded view of this country. A sentence that is clearly unduly long and warranting of some pruning and re-shaping and yet in a world free’d from Tipex here it stands.

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The most famous temples/old citadels were underwhelming for the most part but very well populated, tourist ant heaps, the ruined nature of their existence suggesting an age they don’t actually have. Not that they’re new, very much not so, just by the standard of pretty ruined old things, these are more ruined than they are old. The even more ruined and smaller plots were, for me at least, quite a bit more interesting.

We’d agreed 3 days of being toured about by the Tuk Tuk driver who had collected us from the airport upon our arrival, having ruled out bike hire and willingly succumbed to his pretty soft sell. He had ice under our seats and in among the ice a selection of water bottles, they were most welcome. The breeze also got up on the Tuk Tuk as we travelled between the clearly rather familiar drop off points. We were not alone on our route – not all Tuk Tuk drivers are equal and when out in the evening we encountered an assortment of other drivers, many struggled with finding their way about the place. They were not collectively so familiar with reading maps (either on phones or the little your hotel is here maps that would otherwise be a fair bit more useful) .. our driver on these tours, who was always such a nice and friendly chap, was great. This can be said by both meeting him alone but was reinforced in sterling fashion by comparison with the apparent alternatives.

It was trip with two positives and one notable absence.

The first and lesser of these positives was Cambodia – a different experience from any sort of standard break but roundly friendly, really somewhat warm (not in a comfortable way) and despite a notable bought of ailment by my sibling, decent food, hygiene. This may sound a little first world problems but there is something to be said for only limited illness issues or interest from locals with things to sell. There are locals and some of them have things or services for sale – a bit more vociferous and abundant in the evenings, when the Tuk Tukers take to diversifying their product range.

The second and seemingly significant positive was the ease with which the holiday went – my brother had never been far from home before and for reasons of age and geographic separation, history has not provided us with any extensive experience of what it is to be in each others company. For it to have worked well during a week in the warm with basically only each other as almost continuous company – that was a very pleasant turn of events.

Somewhere about half a week, one of us, the one that wasnt me fell ill. It fell on a day we were to have done something and while not everything was clear, there were strong indications that this was not a thing doing day. The loud and quite persistent retching sounds coming from the bathroom, gave rise to the thought that a question perhaps should be asked about fitness and the days plans. The question gave rise to an uncertain but in hindsight unnecessary answer and off i popped to advise our Tuk Tuk driving guide – who referred to himself as Dan or rather Mr Dan – that we would not be putting in an appearance today.. Bad times having befallen the one who was not me. He was as always very relaxed and easy about the whole thing as we simply settled on an alternative day with no fuss or thought. It must have been something of an inconvenience for him after all, you cant just immediately come up with different things to do when some tourists body cottons on to the lack of familiarity and takes measures to share its concerns. I also wondered what his name might be, the notion that he was actually called Dan or even Mr Dan seemed improbable.. Cambodian parents, big fans of American culture, specifically Mr T and American football player Dan Marino, looking to channel their fervent enthusiasm for such things, came together in like mind and opted to name their son its honour. This seemed improbable. Perhaps then this was his tourist name, certainly for a person unable to remember anyone’s name the concept that the fellow in front steering the Tuk Tuk was something that sat remarkably comfortably in the things i knew and remembered.

Meanwhile the retching and the vomiting was persisting and as i understand it other efforts were also being undertaken. A bell had gone off and expulsion was now the name of the game and i suppose it rather depends on where something as to what its nearest emergency exit was. As i was really very much not ill and we’d eaten and done pretty much the same things my unhelpful and questionably founded diagnosis was it was probably not about what had been consumed but more a reaction to the climactic conditions – we had got fairly baked out there on the previous venture out. Shelter had been taken within Angkor Wat’s walls but the shelter never lasted and even hidden from the glare of the actual sun the temperatures were not low. The humidity though, that was probably the main thing and no amount of shade does much to combat that, it was king around here and it had smighted us without even bothering to even notice we were there.

The day was spent, for my part, loafing around the pool and checking back in to see on how the ailing were progressing or not. Having shared the days news, a recommendation was made about some sort of orange flavoured drink or drink supplement..

Not having heard of it, it didnt seem like an international brand and not being so very locally informed – using google and the image it returned

Confirmation came back:

“yes the above, supermarkets usually do sell it . Lots of water + royal D and rest”

To summarise the passage that follows – they did not.. or if they did they had a shared position of denial and i was not to be having any of it ..

To not cut the following passage short and to take the long road to that outcome – A means to replenish the system of some necessary things in a soft and undemanding way.

A drink or drink supplement i imagined was probably what this was. Either about salts or glucose and reacquiring some of this into some of those recently vacated spaces.

Finding this, scouting it, smoking it out and retrieving it successfully back to the hotel gave me something to get on with. It was not a successful initial effort, the local shop didnt have it and after much gazing and zigzagging about the local market stall stands, i came upon the notion i might need to ask someone if they had it.. they did not.. it was quite the illusive recommendation.

Eventually i was pointed in the direction of a pharmacy and found the success my confused and rudderless efforts scarcely warranted. With this and a solid stock of stomach nukes (coke cans) in tow i returned, in triumph to the hotel, wondering as i went upon what scenes of carnage or improbably swift improvement might await me.

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Another recommendation had been a show – https://bambustage.com – now i was alright with the idea of going to the show but … of my own volition – no .. and not a weak or uncertain sort of no. It was just an area where we did not align, me an my old friend now significantly more native to Cambodia than I. These things seemed more like art than entertainment and art – why? its not funny, it doesnt run around after a ball and provide the satisfaction of victory or the disconsolate stewing of defeat … its doesnt fill the air with familiar, reaffirming and atmosphere infusing tunes .. nope art is just a thing that people come to make themselves like because they feel they ought to .. like Beer – and this, this smacked heavily of art over entertainment .. In the end nothing came of this, which was probably as well as i had history of failing to hide, mask in generally not make unfortunately clear the thoughts of a captive seeking escape – which stand quite apart from the acceptable thoughts, those of the enthralled or at least moderately engaged audience member.. Thoughts had already turned to how i might do better at this – but in the end it did not come to pass.

As for the ill, by the time evening had set in the waves of attack had thinned and it had been some time of resting without incident … my thoughts, not put of my the echos of earlier noises or the smells that emanated from behind closed but not sealed doors, turned to dinner .. Its hard to imagine what was done at such times prior to the internet – but with it, i found me a place that did take out…

Over email they were so helpful and friendly .. also when i got there (finally after much trooping around in the dark hoping for the best) .. okay when i arrived there there friendliness reminded me a bit of a cult held together by a hypnotic trance state, but this said more about me than any reality. The truth was the food was good (not large portions – not small.. just not quite ample) and the service and the friendliness was such that i remember it still.

Reaching out and touching the world through the personal medium of email :

“Dear sir / madam I would like to know whether there is the possibility of ordering food as a take home option?As one of us is feeling unwell and can’t comfortably leave the hotel.Thanks”

I had initially enquired.

A reply came – never a fromality and a welcome start:

“Thank you so much for your email and interest in HAVEN.We’re sorry to read that one of your party is not feeling well and hope she/he will be fine very soon again!!!Regarding your question, yes, we can take take-away orders, but preferably before 7pm, before the kitchen gets too busy with the dinner service.Does that work for you?”

Positive feedback – they were not overjoyed to hear that local climactic conditions had bested one of our number (2) and critically – food could indeed be had.

Me -> Haven:

“EveningAnd thank you for your quick reply – I think/hope they probably just received to much sunshine. Before 7 is fine with us.

Because they are unwell the preference is for a soup – noodle or chicken – but not spicey or whichever is least spicey. If this sounds like something you might have (as i saw you do have chicken and noodle soups) then I will check what I would like for myself and then look to come and collect just before 7″

They came back with options and even something of a suggestion on what we might look to order, given the assaulted digestive system and withered disposition:

Haven -> Me

“Yes, we have Khmer Noodle Soup (vegetarian) which I do think would be something good to eat, when not feeling well, as it is mildly seasoned, but has a great taste and with the noodles you also get something into your stomach.

(The Chicken Morning Glory Soup is a super tasty soup, but maybe not the best choice when not feeling well, as it is a sour soup, so I’m not sure how the stomach would feel about that).

We have take-away cups for soups. With the Noodle Soup we would give you one cup with the soup and one cup with the noodles. You can then get a large bowl at your hotel and mix it all together.

Just let me know what you would like and what time you would pick it up.

Or even better/easier: you could also just show up before 7pm, order here directly and then take a seat on the sofa while you wait.

Whatever suits you best.”

Me->Haven:

“Thats great and very helpful thanks

So one of the noodle soups and one Khmer Amok or Khmer Curry – whichever you would better recommend. I will come and pick it up before 7 and am more than happy to wait on the sofas while you prepare it.

We have noticed that Tuk Tuk drivers are not always certain of directions, so i am currently charging my phone but will be there before 7 to collect.

Thanks again for your kind assistance and quick replies”

Haven ->Me

“Okay, I’ll order the Khmer Noodle Soup and the Khmer Curry with Chicken for you.

The kitchen will start preparing, but will then cook it freshly when you are here.

Regarding tuktuk drivers, yes, they don’t all have the same knowledge of the town. But we have the Khmer directions on our website (http://havencambodia.com/en/ contact-openinghours/). Maybe you want to make a screenshot of that, so you can show it to your driver. And if he still doesn’t know, just give him our number and he can call us directly for directions.

See you later.

Sometime later – (with the restaurant located, the food retrieved and efforts at consumption made.. for my part there was no effort, it was nice but for others it was an understandable challenge) – they wrote again:

“I hope you enjoyed your take-away dinner.

Thanks again for coming and a big ‘get well soon’ to the sick party members.

Have a wonderful time in Cambodia,”

I’m fairly certain reading this exchange will not be something that future me will really feel needed to happen .. looking back upon past (now current) me with an air of bemused concern, for having offered up as reminder for these times. Riveting as it undoubtedly is and will remain to anyone … not all of us can be lucky enough to have a phone number that differs by only one digit from the local take away and enjoy the experience of being party to a dialogue with some random, uncertain member of the public, seeking you out specially for advise on the optimal combination of toppings.

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My brother showed remarkable or obstinate powers of recovery – and though it hadn’t looked likely we were up and running with being out and about and doing things again the following day. A little surprised and impressed – far from certain i would have emerged into the challenging heat so swiftly were our roles reversed.

The warm, that has been mentioned gave rise an unusual occurrence and not just one of them, the drinking of beer. There was no cider option, water had become sufficiently familiar and though it remained ever welcome alternatives to the necessary stream of bottled water was superior to no alternative. The beer seemed mild in aroma and watery, consumable enough when cold, workable for the none beer appreciators. I do not generally appreciate a beer. Sweetness of soft drinks, not so refreshing in the humidity of the surrounds. A habit that would be readily relinquished at the merest sight of the alternative options that would, in future times, once again lay upon the path.

With temples visited we found our initial intentions and plans were maybe not quite the best use of time. We were to have been in Cambodia for slightly more than half of our 2 weeks but found agreement in our uncertainty on what else we might fill this time with. Temples and aged buildings rescued from the forests are not without there interest but without particular inclinations to absorb the detail of the history there is only so many of them you can take in, for the sake of optical interest.

The Plan to move on to Bangkok was therefore brought forward indulging in a spot of culinary familiarity if not quality as we went.

As for the absent part – that was not my old friend, though we didnt meet up very often or for very long. I had wondered how that might pan out and had adopted no considered thoughts on it. As it turned out the initial meeting was awkward, the almost immediate ease that had been the basis of so much, the reason above all others why this had once been the person to whom i was closest, it was not there.. Its absence was not a surprise but it still caught me of guard. It was not the only time we caught up, i couldnt see it clearly or work my way past it. Somewhere between my discomfort over my own doings all those years ago and my sense in what i saw, a sense that there was disappointment and perhaps still hurt feelings in their face, there was a problem. The face i saw was probably merely a reflection of my own take on things but enough to set a person of kilter. This was a moderate improvement on how matters would otherwise have been left but there was no moment of clarity. A point when the moment boiled itself into momentary clarity, whether something of a verbal form of this apology was welcome or, as i;d always suspected merely selfish, undeserving and in no way welcome. They were a solid sort and yet not completely.. after all they had been single minded enough to pull this coffee book shop charity off …

Through the gaze of my uncertainty, it dawned on me for really the first time, the possibility that what i’d done at that train station and in some part of the time that followed might have caused some hurt, that it might have mattered.. Probably not but it could be. What good an empty apology for something done in full and deliberate knowledge – what right to offer it and to seek from them alleviation from its ramifications – none … or perhaps doing nothing is all together just to easy – the absence then from the holiday came in unwavering inertia. Im not sure it was a choice, just didnt really understand how to do anything else.

We learn, at the last, to look at out brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children’s future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognise that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge. Our lives on this plant are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land.

Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a solution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us as brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

America was a great force in the world, with immense prestige, long before we became a great military power. That power has come to us and we cannot renounce it, but neither can we afford to forget that the real constructive force in the world comes not from bombs but from imaginative idea, warm sympathies ad a generous spirit..

Over the years, an understanding of what America really stands for is going to count far more than missiles, aircraft carriers, and supersonic bombers

This is not our shame and yet it shames us all .. the question is who actively vs who passively contributed to this. Can not ignore or excuse those whose actions delivered this to the world but in contemplating the almost incomprehensible shame it brings a country it remains worthy to contemplate the broader in actions and failings that make fertile ground for opportunist hate merchants with their cheap, easy and attractively simple false solutions.

Jame’s have a concert – one friend is a big fan .. end up going – not many familiar tunes are plates but its nice enough.

Nottingham – its further north than i had in mind .. and the work meetings that were in Nottingham in my head were in Mansfied in not my head .. another 20 miles or so up the way .. a place quite light on Hotel and accommodation options

Discovering Airbnb – a concept that still seems odd to me, where people surrender their home to invading persons – in this case myself, in return for donation .. just like the British preferred to do things – back in the day ..

This is Nottingham – Manfied devoid of options – or rather its Sherwood a particular area within the general Nottingham city area.

The EU debate continues .. salient

Airbnb places aside the following week – return to Nottingham, via booking.com a traditional accommodation – Hotel .. The Stage Hotel .. which according to the stars of quality rates a respectable 3* …

As we approached the comment was offered that is had something about it, something in its character, a sort of crack den or whore house quality .. inside the improvement was questionable in the communal areas though the room was less.. well it was less .. i did wake with a face skin inflammation that had not been there the evening before .. who can say whether it was a bite or another swiftly occurring blemish .. who can say, but there it was and time for another day of Mansfield meeting.

It was an unconventional interpretation of the 3* conceit

The evening before Liverpool collapses in the UEFA cup final – a second half performance that can clearly be said to number among the worst or biggest collapses seen in finals .. Better nights have been had, in summary.

The conservative parties internal debate and point of schizophrenic break .. The EU .. brought unto the population as a whole to overcome their trauma.

While a legitimate point of debate for a country its swiftly descended into farcical spoutings of the highly outlandish and absolutest kind… while the public demand facts – but what facts – what guarantees are they seeking ?

Economic facts about what will happen in the future?

Population growth and distribution patterns in the future?

Speed and nature of political agreements in the future?

There are no facts there are only suppositions, notions, opinions and some well and some poorly grounded predictions.

Still it gives those with racists tendencies to loiter safely in the shadow of those with more practical and a less malignant existence – its become unacceptable to say some people who say not quite borderline racist utterances are racists.. no they are people with genuine and legitimate concerns .. people who suggest Britain’s place in the world has altered this its blood letting days of empire, innovation and bright exploration .. they dont believe in the UK, they are self hating brits – shame be upon them … Yes its a quality debate ..

and when its all well and done many things will have been thrown about and probably everyone on either side will feel cheated, lied to and less debating a fountain of things that weren’t … no one will believe the outcome is the will of the people regardless of what that outcome is ..

Boris..ex Major or London..so unsure which way to go..Leave / Remain..up to the last, NOW converted to lead advocate and devout leaver… Teller of the things about how the EU foists banana controls upon us and diminishes our great light, casting us into their great sinking darkness.

Cameron .. least fit for office PM of UK … so unsure which way to go up until after the phantom renegotiation .. NOW converted to lead remain campaigner and no-er of the country destroying ills that come of leaving.

Then there was a marathon .. none participatory .. wouldn’t even make it the one mile.. not even close

Meanwhile as distractions unfold .. the government continues to cast health care to the private sector.. What profitable gift can be more relied upon to keep on giving more than that of health care provision ..

Not quite the US republican debate .. at which its still some some small relief to see even right winger of Europe seemly shocked and appalled .. but that doesn’t stop the Government reverting to .. vote for us – the other guy is a muslim & well you know what that means … campaign .. A new low invading a mainsteam political party who ought to take their responsibility more seriously and no better than to attempt such opportunism..

Racist London Mayor Campaign ..

Thankfully it effectively killed of their campaign – London – no place for this sort of thing and guaranteed their own candidates demise.