While many men tear down their homes by criticizing their wives and demeaning their children, Noah lifted his family up. Too many guys are destroyers; this guy was a builder. He created a safe place for them where the chaos of the world around them could not reach.

Putting your family down

Children struggle to fit in, all through childhood. They are constantly fifteen minutes behind having the popular shoes or hairdo. As soon as they climb to the peak of social expectations, others shoot at them for taking their place. While growing up has become more and more complicated for the average child, they should find safety at home. Some kids suffer rejection from their dad, just like they do from their friends. We fathers want our kids to have all the advantages we missed, but we should never criticize a child for not being good at sports or academically inclined. Noah built a houseboat big enough for his whole family to be themselves. Your wife may struggle to find safe friends who will accept her without requiring her to perform to their expectations, but she should know that you will cherish her on her good days and the bad.

The crime most men commit toward their homes is doing nothing. If Noah had not built the ark, his family would have perished. True men take extra effort to lift their family up. Noah worked many years to build a structure to lift his family above the floodwaters on earth (Genesis 6). While most guys dream of raising up a family for the rest of the world to look to, many of us drop our plans in the stream and allow other things in life to distract us. Godly men do not neglect their families. It takes daily effort and years of focus to lift up a family and keep them afloat above the destruction of this world.

Lifting your family up

A man should tend to the most important need of his family: salvation. Noah followed God’s specific directions to save his family. God has given us specific directions to follow in Acts 2:38. We must see that each member of our homes understands and obeys this important scripture. We must make a home environment where our people continue to grow in Spirit and truth. Daily, a man prays for his family. Daily he encourages them to know the Lord better by leading them in prayer and Bible discussion.

Noah’s name means “comfort.” Do you comfort your family? Do you encourage your children to pursue greatness? Does your wife feel safe at your side, or is she constantly afraid you will humiliate her in front of your mother or house guests? You will find your own soul begin to relax when you start to comfort your family. Do not just provide them food and shelter, give them the safety of your approval. Help your teens weather the flood of worldliness by making them feel safe running to you for shelter. When you lift your family up, you will find a safe place for your own soul, too.

Small men do not appreciate children. They kick the dog the day they find out their wife is pregnant. They see kids as a glitch in their self-interested goals. They plot the number of days before they will be free of these brats and have home to “normal” again. They take on their teenagers as a personal challenge, rather than a compatible human being. God did not intend children to bring us stress, but rest. We must raise them with this mindset. They are to be the joy of our lives (II John 1:4).

Men who do not love children are selfish

Jesus publicly corrected his men for driving away the children. He wanted to sit with a baby in His arm. He enjoyed the squirming toddler who could not sit still in his lap for a whole minute. When God looks at children, He sees potential. So did Lamech.

Now, Lamech, son of Methuselah, had every right to be grumpy about his wife getting pregnant—he was 182 years old. He probably wanted to retire, not paint the nursery. Yet he cherished the thought of having a child. He called his son “Rest” (Noah in Hebrew) because he saw this boy bringing relief to the difficult world they lived in (Genesis 5:28-29).

Cherish the children

Overwhelmed with life purpose, full-time school, and ministry, I had begun to see my children as a complication to my plans. Then God shined on us with another little gift who distracted me only for a moment. Then at three months old, she decided to get my full attention by landing in a hospital, coding blue, and keeping us up at night for a couple months. God taught me to cherish her. He taught me to rest. I had to slow down and refocus my life and begin to see my children as part of my life purpose. They are my comfort.

If I raise my kids with disrespect and grumpy obligation, they will treat me the same. If I fuss and cuss them, they will respond alike. Dads who demand the most for respect from their children often give them the least.

In spite of the bills, expenses, runny noses, mood swings, sinful nature, and everything else inherent to childhood, my kids are my greatest asset. They are my future. They redeem me from the curse as Lamech said of his son, “this child will bring us relief from all our hard work” (5:29, GNB). Ask the Lord Jesus to help you take your children on your knee and love them the way He did. Ask Him to help you see your children as a comfort, not an expense.