Dad is really scared

Before this pregnancy we suffered several miscarriages which my husband had to help me through. Including an etopic that nearly killed me. My husband came home on his lunch hour to check on me and found me passed out. I was rushed to the hospital with severe internal bleeding. I can only imagine how emotionally draining everything has been on my husband. After all that we are finally experiencing a healthy normal pregnancy but my husband is not at all excited. He said he is just to worried about mine and the baby's health to be happy. He doesn't want to talk about the baby and he avoids touching my stomach. What can I do to help him connect to this pregnancy and leave the past behind us?

Father's-to-be, I need some advice:

Before this pregnancy we suffered several miscarriages which my husband had to help me through. Including an etopic that nearly killed me. My husband came home on his lunch hour to check on me and found me passed out. I was rushed to the hospital with severe internal bleeding. I can only imagine how emotionally draining everything has been on my husband. After all that we are finally experiencing a healthy normal pregnancy but my husband is not at all excited. He said he is just to worried about mine and the baby's health to be happy. He doesn't want to talk about the baby and he avoids touching my stomach. What can I do to help him connect to this pregnancy and leave the past behind us?

First off my condolances for your losses. Time is a great thing for him right now... getting out of the danger zone may help him feel more secure in the reality of this baby going to full term. not getting attatched is one way to avoid those feelings of loss for him possibly. I would say just give him some time to heal and pass the fear stage and most likely he will come around.. congratulations and good luck!!!

First off my condolances for your losses. Time is a great thing for him right now... getting out of the danger zone may help him feel more secure in the reality of this baby going to full term. not getting attatched is one way to avoid those feelings of loss for him possibly. I would say just give him some time to heal and pass the fear stage and most likely he will come around.. congratulations and good luck!!!

I totally understand what you are feeling. My wife had a m/c in the past and a ruptured ectopicin which she neartly bled out.

Howver, I have the excat opposite problem. I am very excited and positive (and want to tell the world) while my wife has been very slow to get excited (although she has been a bit exciting since she has felt regular movement). She wanted to tell no one at first (only her mother) and I could not tell my parents unil after the end of the first trimester. Even as we head into the third trimester, she has only told a handful of people -- and no friends -- about the pregnancy.

I would recommend just giving it time. As he goes to visits and sees that everything is doing wel -- and begins to think that it will continue to do well -- he will become less scared and happier. As I have learned with my wife, there is nothing you can do to force the process forward. He just needs time.

I totally understand what you are feeling. My wife had a m/c in the past and a ruptured ectopicin which she neartly bled out.

Howver, I have the excat opposite problem. I am very excited and positive (and want to tell the world) while my wife has been very slow to get excited (although she has been a bit exciting since she has felt regular movement). She wanted to tell no one at first (only her mother) and I could not tell my parents unil after the end of the first trimester. Even as we head into the third trimester, she has only told a handful of people -- and no friends -- about the pregnancy.

I would recommend just giving it time. As he goes to visits and sees that everything is doing wel -- and begins to think that it will continue to do well -- he will become less scared and happier. As I have learned with my wife, there is nothing you can do to force the process forward. He just needs time.

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