Jokes

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Mom's Present

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A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."

The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

Ladies and gentlemen, he did it. He won again. Donald Trump has just been named Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2016. The shocking thing about this is that Time magazine thinks Trump is a person.

Starbucks is planning to open Italian bakeries in New York City and Chicago that will serve pizza. Good, because if there’s anywhere you can’t get a good slice of pizza, it’s NEW YORK CITY AND CHICAGO.

General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt. He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men stood around with the greatest unconcern.