English cricket team exposed as being Pakistani 'B' team in disguise

The world of cricket has been rocked today after investigators claimed several of England's key Ashes players are in fact members of the Pakistan 'B' team in disguise.

ICC investigators said their suspicions were roused when the English team appeared to be playing well and 'looked as if they had a chance of winning'.

Donger Willis, who is leading the investigation, said: 'Basically, mate, those English fellas were looking pretty sharp out there on the cricket field.

'We all thought to ourselves: "Cor, that's a bit odd!"

'When we started looking into it, we found evidence that some of the best-performing English players were actually Pakistani and had been whiting-up every day before play started.'

So far, the England camp has refused to comment but it has already been suggested that the Ashes will now be awarded to Australia by default, despite England appearing to be within reach of winning.

Bruce Dundee, the ICC Head of Rules, said: 'Blimey, it's a stinker alright. If and when we prove these allegations, it's pretty clear that we're going to have to disqualify those cheating Limeys.'

It is claimed that the English team made the approach to the Pakistani cricket authorities earlier this year and asked if they could borrow some players in exchange for some tickets to the 20102 Olympics.

Six of Pakistan's best 'B' team players were recruited and trained in popular English cricket sayings, such as: 'Oh well done!' and 'Never mind Jenky, there's always next time'.

Second tier players were chosen, it is alleged, as 'A' team players would cause to much suspicion.

The ICC is set to vote on the investigation's findings this evening at Zach and Sheila's barbecue on the beach.