The Man With The Peaches & Cream Smile

A starched shirt, crisp and tailored, shaping your Monday-Thru-Friday body like a glove. A close shave, a spritz of cologne, and a fresh cut. You accessorize appropriately, pairing the perfect tie, socks and pocket square with your blazer. You’re ready for the big event.

“Cheese!” You smile, revealing peaches and cream corn rows of a regular brush, floss and semi-annual cleaning. Could it be better? Sure. You grind your teeth at night, you brush on occasion, you floss with the regularity of Cleveland Browns playoff wins.

Coffee, tea, wine, blueberries, tobacco… there are many reasons why one would have stained teeth. But the reasons to have white teeth are far more plentiful.

Are your teeth made of wood?

Your smile lights up a room. It’s a chandelier, set to a moment. Laugh, and it lights up a room.

Pearls that showcase the gateway to your soul. When was the last time you saw yellow pearls?

Smile. You’re taking a picture in a poorly lit room, with a limited lense. Your teeth will show. Are they yellow?

“Do you like yellow teeth? Are you a yellow teeth man? Do you only date people with yellow teeth?”

“Are yellow teeth part of your identity?”

Do you like yellow? When you smile, do people yell, “Taxi!”, as if they’re hailing a Yellow Cab?

Do you notice people using the descriptor, “bananas”, in place of “crazy/strange/weird..” while in your presence? You hear, “…it was all yellow…” on the radio. A chorus from a Coldplay song. And you immediately assume it was dedicated to you.

You know when you spill mustard on a crisp linen shirt? It’s noticeable. But not in a good way…

“Perhaps your smile looks great… In a black and white filter.”

“I really think that your smile looks amazing…. When you’re on the telephone.”

“You should smile more often. This room could use some color.”

“What does a great smile get you in this world? Seriously…. I’m asking… Please ask someone with a great smile.”