...I
have tripped unawares on fairy ground,
feeling the balmy gale of spring stealing on me,
though November frowns.

A VINDICATION OFTHE RIGHTS OF WOMENby Mary Wollstonecraft

Chapter VIIModesty - Comprehensively
Considered, and Not as a Sexual Virtue

Modesty! sacred offspring of sensibility and reason!
- true delicacy of mind! - may I unblamed presume to investigate thy nature,
and trace to its covert the mild charm, that mellowing each harsh feature
of a character, renders what would otherwise only inspire cold admiration
- lovely!

Thou that smoothest the wrinkles of wisdom, and
softenest the tone of the sublimest virtues till they all melt into humanity;
thou that spreadest the ethereal cloud that, surrounding love, heightens
every beauty, it half shades, breathing those coy sweets that steal into
the heart, and charm the senses - modulate for me the language of persuasive
reason, till I rouse my sex from the flowery bed, on which they supinely
sleep life away!

In speaking of the association of our ideas, I
have noticed two distinct modes; and in defining modesty, it appears
to me equally proper to discriminate that purity of mind, which is the
effect of chastity, from a simplicity of character that leads us to form
a just opinion of ourselves, equally distant from vanity or presumption,
though by no means incompatible with a lofty consciousness of our own dignity.

Modesty, in the latter signification of the
term, is that soberness of mind which teaches a man not to think more highly
of himself than he ought to think, and should be distinguished from humility,
because humility is a kind of self-abasement.

A modest man often conceives a great plan, and
tenaciously adheres to it, conscious of his own strength, till success
gives it a sanction that determines its character.
Milton was not arrogant when he suffered a suggestion
of judgment to escape him that proved a prophecy; nor was General Washington
when he accepted of the command of the American forces.
The latter has always been characterised as a modest
man; but had he been merely humble, he would probably have shrunk back
irresolute, afraid of trusting to himself the direction of an enterprise,
on which so much depended.

A modest man is steady, an humble man timid, and
a vain one presumptuous: this is the judgment, which the observation of
many characters, has led me to form. Jesus Christ was modest, Moses was
humble, and Peter vain.

Thus, discriminating modesty
from humility in one case, I do not mean to confound it with bashfulness
in the other. Bashfulness, in fact, is so distinct from modesty, that
the most bashful lass or raw country lout, often become the most impudent;
for their bashfulness being merely the instinctive timidity of ignorance,
custom soon changes it into assurance. [1]

The shameless behaviour of the prostitutes, who
infest the streets of this metropolis, raising alternate emotions of pity
and disgust, may serve to illustrate this remark. They trample on virgin
bashfulness with a sort of bravado, and glorifying in their shame, become
more audaciously lewd than men, however depraved, to whom this sexual quality
has not been gratuitously granted, ever appear to be.

But these poor ignorant wretches never had any
modesty to lose, when they consigned themselves to infamy; for modesty
is a virtue, not a quality.
No, they were only bashful, shamefaced innocents;
and losing their innocence, their shamefacedness was rudely brushed off:
a virtue would have left some vestiges in the mind, had it been sacrificed
to passion, to make us respect the grand ruin.

Purity of mind, or that genuine delicacy, which
is the only virtuous support of chastity, is near akin to that refinement
of humanity, which never resides in any but cultivated minds. It is something
nobler than innocence, it is the delicacy of reflection, and not the coyness
of ignorance.

The reserve of reason, which, like habitual cleanliness,
is seldom seen in any great degree, unless the soul is active, may easily
be distinguished from rustic shyness or wanton skittishness; and, so far
from being incompatible with knowledge, it is its fairest fruit.

What a gross idea of modesty had the writer
of the following remark! -

"The lady who asked
the question whether women may be instructed in the modern system of botany
consistently with female delicacy? was accused of ridiculous prudery; nevertheless,
if she had proposed the question to me, I should certainly have answered
- they cannot."

Thus is the fair book of knowledge to be shut with
an everlasting seal! on reading similar passages I have reverentially lifted
up my eyes and heart to Him who liveth for ever and ever, and said, "O,
my Father, hast Thou, by the very constitution of her nature forbid Thy
child to seek Thee in the fair forms of truth? And can her soul be sullied
by the knowledge that awfully calls her to Thee?"

I have then philosophically
pursued these reflections till I inferred that those women who have most
improved their reason must have the most modesty, though a dignified sedateness
of deportment may have succeeded the playful, bewitching bashfulness of
youth. [2]

And thus have I argued.
To render chastity the virtue from which unsophisticated
modesty will naturally flow, the attention should be called away from employments
which only exercise the sensibility, and the heart made to beat time to
humanity rather than to throb with love.

The woman who has dedicated
a considerable portion of her time to pursuits purely intellectual, and
whose affections have been exercised by humane plans of usefulness, must
have more purity of mind, as a natural consequence, than the ignorant beings
whose time and thoughts have been occupied by gay pleasures, or schemes
to conquer hearts. [3]

The regulation of the behaviour is not modesty,
though those who study rules of decorum are in general termed modest women.
Make the heart clean; let it expand and feel for all
that is human, instead of being narrowed by selfish passions; and let the
mind frequently contemplate subjects that exercise the understanding, without
heating the imagination, and artless modesty will give the finishing touches
to the picture.

She who can discern the dawn
of immortality in the streaks that shoot athwart the misty night of ignorance,
promising a clearer day, will respect, as a sacred temple, the body that
enshrines such an improvable soul. True love likewise spreads this kind
of mysterious sanctity round the beloved object, making the lover most
modest when in her presence. [4]

So reserved is affection that, receiving or returning
personal endearments, it wishes not only to shun the human eye, as a kind
of profanation, but to diffuse an encircling cloudy obscurity to shut out
even the saucy sparkling sunbeams.
Yet that affection does not deserve the epithet of
chaste which does not receive a sublime gloom of tender melancholy, that
allows the mind for a moment to stand still and enjoy the present satisfaction,
when a consciousness of the Divine presence is felt - for this must ever
be the food of joy.

As I have always been fond of tracing to its source
in nature any prevailing custom, I have frequently thought that it was
a sentiment of affection for whatever had touched the person of an absent
or lost friend, which gave birth to that respect for relics, so much abused
by selfish priests.

Devotion or love may be allowed to hallow the garments
as well as the person, for the lover must want fancy who has not a sort
of sacred respect for the glove or slipper of his mistress. He could not
confound them with vulgar things of the same kind.

This fine sentiment perhaps would not bear to be
analysed by the experimental philosopher.
But of such stuff is human rapture made up.
A shadowy phantom glides before us, obscuring every
other object; yet when the soft cloud is grasped, the form melts into common
air, leaving a solitary void, or sweet perfume, stolen from the violet,
that memory long holds dear. But I have tripped unawares on fairy ground,
feeling the balmy gale of spring stealing on me, though November frowns.

As a sex, women are more chaste
than men; and if modesty is the effect of chastity, they may deserve to
have this virtue ascribed to them in rather an appropriated sense.
Yet I must be allowed to add an hesitating if, for
I doubt whether chastity will produce modesty, though it may propriety
of conduct, when it is merely a respect for the opinion of the world, [5]
and when coquetry and the lovelorn tales of novelists employ the thoughts.
Nay, from experience and reason, I should be led to
expect to meet with more modesty amongst men than women, simply because
men exercise their understandings more than women.

But with respect to propriety of behaviour, excepting
one class of females, women have evidently the advantage. What can be
more disgusting than that impudent dross of gallantry thought so manly,
which makes many men stare insultingly at every female they meet?
Can it be termed respect for the sex?
No, this loose behaviour shows such habitual depravity,
such weakness of mind, that it is vain to expect much public or private
virtue till both men and women grow more modest - till men, curbing a sensual
fondness for the sex, or an affectation of manly assurance - more properly
speaking, impudence - treat each other with respect, unless appetite or
passion give the tone, peculiar to it, to their behaviour.
I mean every personal respect - the modest respect
of humanity and fellow-feeling - not the libidinous mockery of gallantry,
nor the insolent condescension of protectorship.

To carry the observation still further, modesty
must heartily disclaim, and refuse to dwell with that debauchery of mind,
which leads a man coolly to bring forward, without a blush, indecent allusions,
or obscene witticisms, in the presence of a fellow-creature; women are
now out of the question, for then it is brutality.
Respect for man, as man, is the foundation of every
noble sentiment. How much more modest is the libertine who obeys the call
of appetite or fancy than the lewd joker who sets the table in a roar!

This is one of the many instances in which the
sexual distinction respecting modesty has proved fatal to virtue and happiness.
It is, however, carried still further, and woman - weak woman - made by
her education the slave of sensibility, is required, on the most trying
occasions, to resist that sensibility.

"Can anything,"
says Knox, "be more absurd than keeping women
in a state of ignorance, and yet so vehemently to insist on their resisting
temptation?"

Thus when virtue or honour make it proper to check
a passion, the burden is thrown on the weaker shoulders, contrary to reason
and true modesty, which at least should render the self-denial mutual,
to say nothing of the generosity of bravery, supposed to be a manly virtue.

In the same strain runs Rousseau's and Dr. Gregory's
advice respecting modesty, strangely miscalled! for they both desire a
wife to leave it in doubt whether sensibility or weakness led her to her
husband's arms. The woman is immodest who can let the shadow of such a
doubt remain in her husband's mind a moment.

But, to state the subject in a different light,
the want of modesty, which I principally deplore as subversive of morality,
arises from the state of warfare so strenuously supported by voluptuous
men as the very essence of modesty, though, in fact, its bane, because
it is a refinement on lust that men fall into who have not sufficient virtue
to relish the innocent pleasures of love.
A man of delicacy carries his notions of modesty still
further, for neither weakness nor sensibility will gratify him - he looks
for affection.

Again.
Men boast of their triumphs over women.
What do they boast of?
Truly the creature of sensibility was surprised by
her sensibility into folly - into vice; [6] and
the dreadful reckoning falls heavily on her own weak head, when reason
wakes. For where art thou to find comfort, forlorn and disconsolate one?

He who ought to have directed thy reason, and supported
thy weakness, has betrayed thee. In a dream of passion thou consented to
wander through flowery lawns, and heedlessly stepping over the precipice
to which they guide, instead of guarding, lured thee; thou startest from
thy dream only to face a sneering, frowning world, and to find thyself
alone in a waste, for he that triumphed in thy weakness is now pursuing
new conquests.
But for thee there is no redemption on this side the
grave! And what resource hast thou in an enervated mind to raise a sinking
heart?

But if the sexes be really to live in a state of
warfare, if Nature have pointed it out, let them act nobly, or let pride
whisper to them that the victory is mean when they merely vanquish sensibility.
The real conquest is that over affection not taken by surprise, when, like
Heloisa, a woman gives up all the world deliberately for love.

I do not now consider the wisdom or virtue of such
a sacrifice, I only contend that it was a sacrifice to affection, and not
merely to sensibility, though she had her share. And
I must be allowed to call her a modest woman, before I dismiss this part
of the subject, by saying, that till men are more chaste, women will be
immodest.

Where, indeed, could modest women find husbands
from whom they would not continually turn with disgust?
Modesty must be equally cultivated by both sexes,
or it will ever remain a sickly hot-house plant, whilst the affectation
of it, the fig leaf borrowed by wantonness, may give a zest to voluptuous
enjoyments.

Men will probably still insist that woman ought
to have more modesty than man; but it is not dispassionate reasoners who
will most earnestly oppose my opinion.
No, they are the men of fancy, the favourites of the
sex, who outwardly respect and inwardly despise the weak creatures whom
they thus sport with. They cannot submit to resign the highest sensual
gratification, nor even to relish the epicurism of virtue - self-denial.

To take another view of the subject, confining
my remarks to women.

The ridiculous falsities
[7] which are told to children, from mistaken notions
of modesty, tend very early to inflame their imaginations and set their
little minds to work, respecting subjects which Nature never intended they
should think of till the body arrived at some degree of maturity; then
the passions naturally begin to take the place of the senses, as instruments
to unfold the understanding, and form the moral character.

In nurseries and boarding schools, I fear, girls
are first spoiled, particularly in the latter. A number of girls sleep
in the same room, and wash together. And though I should be sorry to contaminate
an innocent creature's mind by instilling false delicacy, or those indecent
prudish notions which early cautions respecting the other sex naturally
engender, I should be very anxious to prevent their acquiring nasty or
immodest habits; and as many girls have learned very nasty tricks from
ignorant servants, the mixing them thus indiscriminately together, is very
improper.

To say the truth, women are
in general too familiar with each other, which leads to that gross degree
of familiarity that so frequently renders the marriage state unhappy.
Why in the name of decency are sisters, female intimates,
or ladies and their waiting-women, to be so grossly familiar as to forget
the respect which one human creature owes to another?
That squeamish delicacy which shrinks from the most
disgusting offices when affection [8] or humanity
lead us to watch at a sick pillow is despicable. But why women in health
should be more familiar with each other than men are, when they boast of
their superior delicacy, is a solecism in manners which I could never solve.

In order to preserve health
and beauty, I should earnestly recommend frequent ablutions, to dignify
my advice that it may not offend the fastidious ear; and by example, girls
ought to be taught to wash and dress alone, without any distinction of
rank; and if custom should make them require some little assistance, let
them not require it till that part of the business is over which ought
never to be done before a fellow-creature, because it is an insult to the
majesty of human nature. Not on the score of modesty, but decency; for
the care which some modest women take, making at the same time a display
of that care not to let their legs be seen, is as childish as immodest.
[9]

I could proceed still further, till I animadverted
on still more nasty customs, which men never fall into.
Secrets are told where silence ought to reign; and
that regard to cleanliness, which some religious sects have perhaps carried
too far especially the Essenes, amongst the Jews, by making that an insult
to God which is only an insult to humanity, is violated in a beastly manner.

How can delicate women obtrude notice that part
of the animal economy, which is so very disgusting? And is it not very
rational to conclude, that women who have not been taught to respect the
human nature of their own sex in these particulars, will not long respect
the mere difference of sex in their husbands?

After their maidenish bashfulness is once lost,
I, in fact, have generally observed that women fall into old habits, and
treat their husbands as they did their sisters or female acquaintance.

Besides, women from necessity, because their minds
are not cultivated, have recourse very often to what I familiarly term
bodily wit, and their intimacies are of the same kind. In with respect
to both mind and body, they are too intimate. That decent personal reserve,
which is the foundation of dignity of character, must be kept up between
woman, or their minds will never gain strength or modesty.

On this account also, I object to many females
being shut up together in nurseries, schools, or convents.
I cannot recollect, without indignation, the jokes
and hoyden tricks which knots of young women indulged themselves in, when
in my youth accident threw me, an awkward rustic, in their way. They were
almost on a par with the double meanings which shake the convivial table
when the glass has circulated freely.

But it is vain to attempt to keep the heart pure
unless the head is furnished with ideas, and set to work to compare them,
in order to acquire judgment, by generalising simple ones; and modesty,
by making the understanding damp the sensibility.

It may be thought that I lay too great a stress
on personal reserve, but it is ever the handmaid of modesty; so that were
I to name the graces that ought to adorn beauty, I should instantly exclaim,
cleanliness, neatness, and personal reserve.

It is obvious, I suppose, that the reserve I mean
has nothing sexual in it, and that I think it equally necessary in both
sexes. So necessary, indeed, is that reserve and cleanliness which indolent
women too often neglect, that I will venture to affirm that, when two or
three women live in the same house, the one will be most respected by the
male part of the family who reside with them, leaving love entirely out
of the question, who pays this kind of habitual respect to her person.

When domestic friends meet in a morning, there
will naturally prevail an affectionate seriousness, especially if each
look forward to the discharge of daily duties; and it may be reckoned fanciful,
but this sentiment has frequently risen spontaneously in my mind, I have
been pleased, after breathing the sweet bracing morning air, to see the
same kind of freshness in the countenances I particularly loved; I was
glad to see them braced, as it were, for the day, and ready to run their
course with the sun.

The greetings of affection in the morning are by
these means more respectful than the familiar tenderness which frequently
prolongs the evening talk.
Nay, I have often felt hurt, not to say disgusted,
when a friend has appeared, whom I parted with full dressed the evening
before, with her clothes huddled on, because she chose to indulge herself
in bed till the last moment.

Domestic affection can only be kept alive by these
neglected attentions; yet if men and women took half as much pains to dress
habitually neat, as they do to ornament, or rather to disfigure, their
persons, much would be done towards the attainment of purity of mind.
But women only dress to gratify men of gallantry;
for the lover is always best pleased with the simple garb that fits close
to the shape. There is an impertinence in ornaments that rebuffs affection,
because love always clings round the idea of home.

As a sex, women are habitually indolent; and everything
tends to make them so. I do not forget the spurts of activity which sensibility
produces; but as these flights of feelings only increase the evil, they
are not to be confounded with the slow, orderly walk of reason.
So great in reality is their mental and bodily indolence,
that till their body be strengthened and their understanding enlarged by
active exertions, there is little reason to expect that modesty will take
place of bashfulness. They may find it prudent to assume its semblance;
but the fair veil will only be worn on gala days.

Perhaps, there is not a virtue that mixes so kindly
with every other as modesty.
It is the pale moonbeam that renders more interesting
every virtue it softens, giving mild grandeur to the contracted horizon.
Nothing can be more beautiful than the poetical fiction,
which makes Diana with her silver crescent, the goddess of chastity. I
have sometimes thought, that wandering with sedate step in some lonely
recess, a modest dame of antiquity must have felt a glow of conscious dignity
when, after contemplating the soft shadowy landscaper she has invited with
placid fervour the mild reflection of her sister's beams to turn to her
chaste bosom.

A Christian has still nobler motives to incite
her to preserve her chastity and acquire modesty, for her body has been
called the temple of the living God; of that God who requires more than
modesty of mien. His eye searcheth the heart; and let her remember, that
if she hope to find favour in the sight of purity itself, her chastity
must be founded on modesty, and not on worldly prudence; or verily a good
reputation will be her only reward; for that awful intercourse, that sacred
communication, which virtue establishes between man and his Maker, must
give rise to the wish of being pure as He is pure!

After the foregoing remarks, it is almost superfluous
to add, that I consider all those feminine airs of maturity, which succeed
bashfulness, to which truth is sacrificed, to secure the heart of a husband,
or rather to force him to be still a lover when Nature would, had she not
been interrupted in her operations, have made love give place to friendship,
as immodest.

The tenderness which a man will feel for the mother
of his children is an excellent substitute for the ardour of unsatisfied
passion; but to prolong that ardour it is indelicate, not to say immodest,
for women to feign an unnatural coldness of constitution.

Women as well as men ought
to have the common appetites and passions of their nature, they are only
brutal when unchecked by reason: but the obligation to check them is
the duty of mankind, not a sexual duty.
Nature, in these respects, may safely be left to herself;
let women only acquire knowledge and humanity, and love will teach them
modesty. [10] There is no need of falsehoods,
disgusting as futile, for studied rules of behaviour only impose on shallow
observers; a man of sense soon sees through, and despises the affectation.

The behaviour of young people, to each other,
as men and women, is the last thing that should be thought of in education.
In fact, behaviour in most circumstances is now so much thought of, that
simplicity of character is rarely to be seen: yet, if men were only anxious
to cultivate each virtue and let it take root firmly in the mind, the grace
resulting from it, its natural exterior mark, would soon strip affectation
of its flaunting plumes; because, fallacious as unstable, is the conduct
that is not founded upon truth!

Would ye, o my sisters, really possess modesty,
ye must remember that the possession of virtue, of any denomination, is
incompatible with ignorance and vanity! Ye must acquire
that soberness of mind, which the exercise of duties, and the pursuit of
knowledge, alone inspire, or ye will still remain in a doubtful dependent
situation, and only be loved whilst ye are fair!

The downcast eye, the rosy blush, the retiring
grace, are all proper in their season; but modesty being the child of reason,
cannot long exist with the sensibility that is not tempered by reflection.
Besides, when love, even innocent love, is the whole employ of your lives,
your hearts will be too soft to afford modesty that tranquil retreat, where
she delights to dwell, in close union with humanity.

NOTES

[1]

"Such is the country maiden's fright,
When first a redcoat is in sight,
Behind the door she hides her face;
Next time at distance eyes the lace;
She now can all his terrors stand,
Nor from his squeeze withdraws her hand,
She plays familiar in his arms,
And every soldier hath his charms;
From tent to tent she spreads her flame;
For custom conquers fear and shame." -- Gay RETURN TO TEXT

[2] Modesty is the graceful calm virtue of maturity;
bashfulness the charm of vivacious youth. RETURN TO TEXT

[3] I have conversed, as man with man, with medical
men on anatomical subjects, and compared the proportions of the human body
with artists, yet such modesty did I meet with, that I was never reminded
by word or look of my sex, of the absurd rules which make modesty a Pharisaical
cloak of weakness.
And I am persuaded that in the pursuit of knowledge women would never be
insulted by sensible me, and rarely by men of any description, if they
did not by mock modesty remind them that they were women - actuated by
the same spirit as the Portuguese ladies, who would think their charms
insulted if, when left alone with a man, he did not at least attempt to
be grossly familiar with their persons. Men are not always men in the company
of women, nor would women always remember that they are women, if they
were allowed to acquire more understanding. RETURN TO TEXT

[4] Male or female, for the world contains many
modest men. RETURN TO TEXT

[5] The immodest behaviour of many married women,
who are nevertheless faithful to their husbands' beds, will illustrate
this remark. RETURN TO TEXT

[7] Children very early see cats with their kittens,
birds with their young ones, etc. Why then are they not to be told that
their mothers carry and nourish them in the same way? As there would then
be no appearance of mystery, they would never think of the subject more.
Truth may always be told to children, if it be told gravely; but it is
the modesty of affected modesty that does all the mischief; and this smoke
heats the imagination by vainly endeavouring to obscure certain objects.
If, indeed, children could be kept entirely from improper company, we should
never allude to any such subjects; but as this is impossible, it is best
to tell them the truth, especially as such information, not interesting
them, will make no impression on their imagination. RETURN TO TEXT

[8] Affection would rather make one choose to
perform these offices, to spare the delicacy of a friend, by still keeping
a veil over them, for the personal helplessness, produced by sickness,
is of an humbling nature. RETURN TO TEXT

[9] I remember to have met with a sentence, in
a book of education, that made me smile: "It would be needless to
caution you against putting your hand by chance under you neck-handkerchief,
for a modest woman never did so!" RETURN TO TEXT

[10] The behaviour of many newly married women
has often disgusted me. They seem anxious never to let their husbands forget
the privilege of marriage; and to find no pleasure in his society unless
he is acting the lover. Short, indeed, must be the reign of love, when
the flame is thus constantly blown up, without its receiving any solid
fuel! RETURN TO TEXT

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