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Rainbow Dash deemed threat to homeland security
by
Capper General

A report from highly trusted news source "Wired" which we only read the title of indicates that Rainbow Dash, the colorful cartoon pony has been deemed a threat to National Security. The screencap above shows what appears to be an Artists rendition of the multi-colored pegasus, flying through the air, with her humanoid version of herself on her own back.

Being a respected news outlet in the age of modern journalism, Horse News has set out to sensationalize the shit out of this menace to our nation, while knowing very little, to no information about it whatsoever.

Our lead anchor who assures us "totally isn't exaggerating" about anything, and "was totally there" has arrived in the studio to talk to another anchor who has no way of fact checking anything the other says about the incident, because "he wasn't there, man".

The anchor tells us that Rainbow Dash is a huge threat to our nation, and has weapons of mass destruction, because he saw them when he was being shot at with sling shots.

"Rainbow Dash has the bomb," our anchor, a man with decades of public trust behind him says. "I saw it with my own eyes as I was dodging .22 rounds, fired from the enemy's 9mm glock bazookas on their anti-aircraft tanks."

At Press time, the US has begun a massive deployment of troops to hunt down Rainbow Dash, a turn of events in no way influenced by our in-depth investigative reporting.

Update: Our anchor has been placed on suspension for evidently making up a story, something that Horse News is strongly against in every way, and that you would never see in Journalism.