In this sentence, "If it were up to my husband and I, we'd build a green house." If you leave out "my husband" and only use the sentence with yourself in it, would you say, "If it were up to I?" Or would you say, "If it were up to me." ? So, therefore, (that's how you can test it without knowing the object/subject rule) which is correct? (in that part of the sentence) "If it were up to my husband and I" or "If it were up to my husband and me?" Here's another example: "Between my best friend and I, we consume a lot of coffee cake." Or is it..."Between my best friend and me, we consume a lot of coffee cake." "I" or "Me" ? Or in either example, would it be correct or acceptable to use "myself?"

I know the answer, but I was hoping you would answer. (no cheating and looking it up)

__________________"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

In the old days when people studied traditional grammar, we could simply say, “The first person singular pronoun is ‘I’ when it’s a subject and ‘me’ when it’s an object,” but now few people know what that means. Let’s see if we can apply some common sense here. The misuse of “I” and “myself” for “me” is caused by nervousness about “me.” Educated people know that “Jim and me are goin’ down to slop the hogs,” is not elegant speech, not “correct.” It should be “Jim and I” because if I were slopping the hogs alone I would never say “Me is going. . . .” If you refer to yourself first, the same rule applies: It’s not “Me and Jim are going” but “I and Jim are going.”

So far so good. But the notion that there is something wrong with “me” leads people to overcorrect and avoid it where it is perfectly appropriate. People will say “The document had to be signed by both Susan and I” when the correct statement would be, “The document had to be signed by both Susan and me.”

All this confusion can easily be avoided if you just remove the second party from the sentences where you feel tempted to use “myself” as an object or feel nervous about “me.” You wouldn’t say, “The IRS sent the refund check to I,” so you shouldn’t say “The IRS sent the refund check to my wife and I” either.

Trying even harder to avoid the lowly “me,” many people will substitute “myself,” as in “the suspect uttered epithets at Officer O’Leary and myself.” Conservatives often object to this sort of use of “myself” when “me” or “I” would do. It’s usually appropriate to use “myself” when you have used “I” earlier in the same sentence: “I am not particularly fond of goat cheese myself.” “I kept half the loot for myself.” “Myself” is also fine in expressions like “young people like myself” or “a picture of my boyfriend and myself.” In informal English, beginning a sentence with “myself” to express an opinion is widely accepted: “Myself, I can’t stand dried parmesan cheese.” In all of these instances you are emphasizing your own role in the sentence, and “myself” helps do that.

On a related point, those who continue to announce “It is I” have traditional grammatical correctness on their side, but they are vastly outnumbered by those who proudly boast “it’s me!” There’s not much that can be done about this now. Similarly, if a caller asks for Susan and Susan answers “This is she,” her somewhat antiquated correctness is likely to startle the questioner into confusion.http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/myself.html

I do lots of things wrong. If someone says "who's there?" I doubt if I'd say, "tis I." Or "it is I." I most likely would say, "It's me! Let me in!" Some of these things eventually become so normal, the real grammar police let them slide. I still say, if someone telephones me and asks for me by name, "This is she." I'm so in the habit.

Here's another nifty link to some more in-depth stuff. I could sure use it. I know I get a lot of things screwed up. But not "I." lol. At least, not if I'm paying attention, which I'm not always.

The words after a preposition are said to be the 'object of the preposition'.

Examples:

The cat ran under the car.
(The words "the car" are the object of the preposition "under".)

Can you give this parcel to him tomorrow?
(The word "him" is the object of the preposition "to".)

As covered in the lesson What Are Prepositions?, a preposition usually sits before a noun (i.e., a word like dog, man, house, Alan). However, a preposition can also sit before a pronoun (i.e., a word like him, her, which, it, them). This is important because the object of a preposition is always in the 'objective case', and pronouns change in this case. (In general, native English speakers have little trouble forming the objective case.)

Examples:

Can you give the parcel to him?
("He" changes to "him" in the objective case.)

I went to the cinema with them.
("They" changes to "them" in the objective case.)
Who and Whom

The word 'whom' is the objective case of 'who', and this pairing causes some confusion. (This is covered more in the lesson Who and Whom.)

Examples:

Andy saw the scouts, at least one of whom was armed, through the mist.Â
("Whom" - objective case after the preposition "of")

Against whom did you protest if there was nobody present?Â
("Whom" - objective case after the preposition "against")

should be "Two hits to whom?"
(grammatically dodgy joke in university magazine)

WHOM AFTER A PREPOSITION

Many are unsure when to use who and whom. One thing is for certain: Always use whom after a preposition.

should be "by whom?"
(street advertisement)

WHETHER AFTER A PREPOSITION

Some writers are unsure when to use 'whether' and when to use 'if'. After a preposition, only 'whether' can be used:
A decision about whether the elections were legal is pending.
Will you raise the question of whether we are investing in the system or withdrawing?

See the lesson Whether and If.

YOU AND I / MY WIFE AND I

Some people use 'I' in expressions like 'you and I' or 'my wife and I' when, in some instances, they should be using 'me'.

It is a present from my wife and me. ("me" – objective case of "I" after the preposition "from")
It is a present from my wife and I.
(This is as wrong as saying "from I".)
Keep this between you and I.
(This is as wrong as saying "between I and the post".)

Remember, prepositions govern the objective case. Therefore, the word 'I' must change to 'me' when it is the object of a preposition (i.e., follows it). The fact that it is preceded by 'you and' or 'my wife and' is irrelevant.

In fact, you should only use 'I' in an expression like 'you and I' when it is the subject of the verb. For example:

You and I argue on this subject on a daily basis.
("You and I" — subject of the verb 'to argue')
My husband and I accept your apology.
("My husband and I" — subject of the verb 'to accept')

If the terms 'objective case' and 'subject of a verb' are confusing, there is a neat trick to determine whether to use the 'you and I' form or the 'you and me' form. Simply remove everything apart from the 'I' and try your sentence again. You will naturally use the correct version.

It was proposed by my husband and me.
It was proposed by my husband and I.

See also:

What are prepositions?
Ending a sentence in a preposition
The object of a preposition
Verbs with prepositions - succinct writing
The difference between who and whom

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__________________"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

That's a safe bet Charlie dog. Or you could say, "Leave a message." If I can tell it's a tellemarketer, I am tempted one of these days to simply say, "Nobody's home."

__________________"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."