Just an ordinary girl

I love to write. It keeps me busy and I just really enjoy doing it. I’m writing a blog about everyday things that girls/women go through. I’m not rich at all. I’m living pay cheque to pay cheque just like a lot of other women out there. I want to decorate my house or go on holiday but right now, I can’t afford and I have to prioritise. However, I’m very happy with my life and very lucky.

I own my house. I’m 28, very independent (now), I have a cat called Lila, I have great friends, amazing family and I’m very lucky to have those people in my life. I just wanted to get a little something off my chest. A few people recently have asked me almost the same question.

“How come you’re single?”

“Have you met anyone yet?”

“Have you been on any dates recently?”

You get the gist…

One response I got the other day when I said I was still single was “Oh dear”. I just had to laugh and respond with; “No, not oh dear. I’m choosing to be single and I’m enjoying it.” (It didn’t insult me by the way, I just found it really funny that that was the automatic response).

Now don’t get me wrong, if Mr Right walked into my life tomorrow I wouldn’t turn him away. But after a string of bad relationships, I felt I needed to take some time out and focus on myself. I’ve had a lot going on in my life both personally and professionally and I really don’t think that dragging someone else into my drama is the best thing for me to do at the minute.

“I would love to be settled down, with baby or two. Real life doesn’t work that way”

I’ve had a few dates. I’m on both POF (Plenty of Fish) and match.com but I barely go onto the apps. They’re on my phone and if I get bored, I’ll have a quick look, but just recently, there hasn’t been anyone I’ve even wanted to reply to and I think it’s because I know I’m quite happy as I am at the minute. It’s very hard to trust people who you meet online. Do they genuinely want a relationship or do they just want to get in your pants and then never speak to you again? I’d rather not take that risk thank you very much.

I’ve had some horrendous emails on both sites. Cheesy chat up lines, random crazy questions etc. One guy sent me about six emails, one roughly five or 10 minutes after the other. I didn’t reply to a single one of them but he just kept saying that he didn’t want to pester me, but he was going to Tesco and did I want to meet him. He’d be the one in the ‘flowery shirt’. Considering I didn’t reply the first five times you asked me, I’m gonna go with ‘NO!’ It was really creepy. I deleted my account for a while after those emails.

One guy that I did like recently and was actually looking forward to meeting never actually arranged a date with me. He added me on Facebook. Snapchat and Whatsapp were always going off with messages from him. He even Facetimed me a couple of times. But, every single time we mentioned actually meeting up, he backed off. In the end, I just told him where to go. I can’t be bothered with someone so flaky.

And this, my lovely readers, is why I’m single. Dating in this day and age is awful! The smallest of things can put you off someone. It’s hard work and it’s not worth the hassle most of the time. I’ll be 29 in June and yes, given the choice I would love to be settled down, with a baby or two. Real life doesn’t work that way. You don’t really get much of a choice with these things. I could very easily have settled for the wrong guy but I knew I’d never be happy. I chose to end my last relationship because I knew it would never last. I’m not one for settling. I may never find my perfect guy and that thought is pretty scary, but right now I’m more than happy to be looking after myself, focusing on my new job and sorting my life out.

Don’t feel sorry for me because I’m single. Be happy for me because I know what I want and I’m not afraid to wait for it. I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve.