Thousands of years ago, when Jesus was no more than a twinkle in his dad's eye, the ancient peoples of Europe worshipped the goddess Oestre, or Eastre, at this time of year. The Babylonians on the other hand, worshipped Ishtar, or was it Inanna, or maybe Astarte? Anyway, whoever it was, it was another female goddess who represented fertility, spring, the return of the sun, fecundity, birth, rebirth and so on. Some people still worship these ancient goddesses, and to this day Wiccans and other pagans continue to celebrate the spring equinox as one of the eight Sabbats in their Wheel of the Year.

Which is why I'm always baffled when people like the new archbishop of Westminster, the Most Rev Vincent Nichols, make pronouncements about the nation's "religious traditions", as if all our traditions and customs were introduced by and the sole responsibility of the primarily Christian religions these men represent: because they're not.

According to Nichols, by allowing football matches to take place on Easter Sunday, the Premier League and Setanta Sports are showing "disdain for the religious traditions of Britain". But which religious traditions is he talking about exactly? A spring celebration or festival predates Christianity by a long chalk, and by all accounts until the Christians hijacked Easter and turned it into a dour concern with their crucifixions and resurrections, it was a pretty bacchanalian affair. It probably even involved football, or whatever its equivalent was back then.

According to the Times, Nichols is an ardent Liverpool supporter: "The local Anglican church is near the ground. Worshippers will hold an open air service and hand out Easter eggs to football supporters to remind them what day it is." So eggs, which for obvious reasons have always represented fertility, and which were given as gifts during the spring festival long before the Son of God came on the scene, are now being handed out to remind people of the death of a man who, unless you believe Dan Brown's version of events, didn't even have any children. What's that all about? Since when was Jesus associated with fertility?

Now obviously I'm being slightly facetious here: I understand that Christian Easter eggs are meant to represent the stone in front of the tomb, or the eggs Mary Magdalene was carrying when she saw that Christ had risen or some such (although I still remain baffled as to where the Easter bunny fits into all this), but the point is that these so-called Christian traditions had their foundations elsewhere. Christianity simply took over pre-existing pagan rituals and stuck its name on them. It churched them up a bit if you like.

A few years ago a Reader's Digest survey into religious beliefs in Europe sparked a flurry of shocked articles about how the majority of Britains were now ignorant about the "real meaning of Easter" and didn't know it was about the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. And yet for so many of us, that's not what it's about at all, and before Christianity hit these shores, it never was about that for anyone. And anyway, if we're not religious, if we're not Christians, why is a lack of knowledge about the religious symbolism of Easter such a bad thing? Why is it any worse than the fact that the vast majority of people know nothing about their pagan heritage for instance?

I'm all in favour of keeping Britain's traditional holidays going, if only because for some they're the only opportunity they get to spend with family, what with everyone being off work and school at the same time. But it's time those of faith understood that they didn't invent these holidays, and they don't own them. We're all free to celebrate as we choose, whether that means going to church, going to watch the football, or sitting around at home vegging out in front of the telly indulging our chocolate addiction. No one's forcing Christians to attend football matches on Easter Sunday, so how about they give it a break, and stop trying to force their religious Easter on the rest of us.