Get the door. It’s everyone’s third favorite indie, lo-fi band, Sebadoh. Hot out of the oven from their recent March tour, the boys from Westfield, Massachusetts are teaming up with everyone’s third favorite pizza chain, Domino’s, once more. This time they are re-releasing the 1989 classic, The Freed Man. This is the first time the album will see proper CD formatting, having previously only been available on LP or cassette. The Freed Man will contain more than 50 tracks on a single CD, of which many have never been released.

How do they plan on doing that, you ask? “The same way we plan on putting more than 50 toppings on a single pizza!” explains Domino’s CEO, David Brandon. “You see, we don’t just want this to be another promo-bullshit release; we really want the American public to get excited. That is why I have single-handedly picked over 30 new toppings to be added to the menu. Among them are Hershey Kisses, granola, asbestos, fiberglass, and many more to tickle your tongue.”

But David, tell us how on earth you can cram 50 toppings onto one pizza, or even why you would want to do that. “Sebadoh, or Seba'dough,' as they’re referred to around here, are an important part of our history. Many people don’t realize this, but Eric Gaffney, one of the band’s founding members, was a pizza delivery boy for a good part of his life, and we feel now that we are in the position to give something back to him -- we should take full advantage. And with a little magic in the kitchen, it will be no problem creating the Seba'dough' pizza. Of course, with all those toppings, it is estimated the new pie will weigh at least six pounds.”

Well, there you have it. Sebadoh re-releases The Freed Man, and Domino’s Pizza has some new six-pound promo deal. Any last words, Mr. Brandon? “As Emceegreg would say, this deal is going to be sexellent!”