shadow, i dont know, but it might be simmilar. am i intimidating? i think i would say i am more intimidating more than manipulative. both are negatives but with intimidating, i think thats because im blunt. but then am i blunt because im manipulating people? ugh i dont know.

in terms of the site, yeah i have been blunt but not because im trying to shock people its because i really want to make a difference. and yeah, sometimes posts can get derailed but really, i am not the only one who comments on something someone says, and not the orginal post. to me, this is a difficult thing. on one side, i can see that the orginal poster can get pissy if you talk about a comment someone makes. but on the other side, it opens it up for the post to other places that the orginal poster might not have expected and that can be enlightening.

oh and rcm, yeah it does make me feel guilty (just add it to all the other guilt i have) because i dont know when im doing it. and that the unnerving to me. if someone can say "you are manipulating people" or whatever, that to me, is very serious. but what freaks me out is that i honestly dont see it. so thats why i feel guilty.. i mean, am i doing it now?

There are two sides to every communication; the speaker and the listener, or in this case the writer and the reader.

One man's persuasion might be another man's manipulation. I'll let you be the judge.

Also, there are a lot of adjectives that are commonly thought of as being negative but which are not necessarily so. Many people say that because I have an ego, I am an egotist. Having a strong ego is a compliment; it means you are confident and self-aware. Being an egotist is often seen as a negative, meaning self-centered. As far as I'm concerned, they are opposite sides of the same coin.

Selfishness is another one. If someone say's I'm selfish, I take that as a negative. But in reality, everything I do is selfish or in my own best interest. For example, I drive the speed limit because it is selfishly in my best interest not to get a speeding ticket. Likewise, I give my children love, attention and lavish them with gifts when I can, because (from one perspective) it gives me great joy to do so. Sure, they get something out of it too (a loving father and presents!) just like society as a whole gets something out of my not exceeding the speed limit (civil order and less traffic accidents); but that's not the reason I do it. It's all selfishness.

My point is; from what I know of you, you are a selfish, egotistical, manipulative person. And I mean that in the best possible way; I don't think you have a mean-spirited bone in your body. I could also have said that I think you are a confidant, persuasive person who helps others simply for the pleasure of doing so. Same thing, different perspective.

See the difference? (if not, I can elaborate even MORE... LOL)

All the best,

Lazarus

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