Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Otis Whittaker (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters will be looking to make this an exciting fight for the fans, I'm sure!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner. With a record of
5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Otis Whittaker!And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner. With a record of
5 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Bart Greer and Peter Branson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway! Whittaker needs to keep his hands up - Thundercunt had a free shot at his head there.It looks like Otis Whittaker has been cut. A jab from Thundercunt misses. Whittaker connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe. A combination from Thundercunt does no damage. Thundercunt blocks a jab. Whittaker swings for the body but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Whittaker fakes a head shot and lands one to the body. Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Whittaker throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it. Whittaker shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it. Whittaker's jab looks to have found its range, popping Thundercunt under the eye. Whittaker throws a body shot but no joy. Whittaker throws a big shot that misses. Thundercunt misses with a wild body shot. Thundercunt lands a nice hook to Whittaker's body. Whittaker takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes. Whittaker is breathing heavily.The crowd are loving this. Great action here. Whittaker uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thundercunt. Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Whittaker throwing a counter right hand but Thundercunt manages to avoid it. Whittaker lands a nice looking body shot.
Thundercunt changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.That's one minute gone in the round. Nice uppercut lands for Thundercunt. That snapped Whittaker's head back.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt. Whittaker throws a hook to the side of Thundercunt's head but Thundercunt sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully. Thundercunt throws a jab but it's blocked by Whittaker. Thundercunt lands with a good body shot. Thundercunt scores with a sloppy right hand. Whittaker should have avoided that one. Thundercunt misses with a hook. Whittaker ducked under it nicely. Otis Whittaker seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout. Thundercunt scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Whittaker doesn't seem bothered though. Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss! Nice jab there from Thundercunt. Whittaker is rocked! Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt drops Whittaker with a straight left! Oh this is bad for Whittaker! Thundercunt dives in and starts dropping bombs - the referee has no choice but to step in and save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:46 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Theodore Thundercunt!Theodore Thundercunt is the new heavyweight champion!Otis Whittaker was interviewed post fight and said 'I am so shit, its been a laugh being champ!'.