Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Week 9: Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes it is hard to see through the things you dislike about your life and look at all of the positives. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so much in my life. I am thankful for my son, my family and friends, my job, my independence, and my life in general. I may not be the person that I want to be or thought that I would be at this stage in my life, but I certainly don’t regret most of my decisions. Everyone has some things they wish they could redo, but those things in my life just motivate me to continue looking for what makes me happy and complete.

One thing I do have to look out for is my tendency to want to wait for opportunities to come find me. I also need to understand that one event or person is not going to be the “thing” that turns my life around. I am constantly wondering that if I moved, fell in love, or started my own business my life would suddenly fall into place. This is just unrealistic. That missing puzzle piece that I am always looking for is right in the mirror when I get up I the morning. I am the only person who can change the way I feel about who I am and who I want to become.

Decision making is not my forte. I am always scared that taking a big leap towards a dream or goal is going to plant me on my face. Maybe If I didn’t have a child I would be more willing to make these leaps, however with my son I am not so sure that I can be that bold. What I can do is make myself take the little hops and not care what other people think (this includes family who at times can be the worst at sabotaging.)

This week I found out some disturbing news about a member of my family that I am very close with. This made me think even more about whom I want to be and what I have to be thankful for. It also made me think that if I had to look back at my life up until now would I be satisfied? This doesn’t mean proud because I am proud of myself for many different accomplishments along the way. This means satisfied with what I have done and who I have turned into. The answer is no, at least not yet! However, I feel my weight is the largest contributor to that. I guess this means I will just have to work harder!

However, through all of this hard work losing weight and transitioning, I need to remember every day the things that God has given me to be thankful for. If I only think about them around this time of year I would be neglecting the best things I have in my life. The things that can help me get through challenges like this.

My goal is to lose this week! Nothing fancy, just a loss. I am a closet eater so I don’t really have a hard time on the holidays because there are always people around. I will make sure to not take home any unhealthy leftovers and to exercise. I just need to make sure that I do not deprive myself too much and resort to a binge. I wish myself Good Luck :-)