Friday, June 21, 2013

Half of 2013 in a nutshell

HI ALL! Let me explain why I haven't been blogging for so long. I think the only reason I haven't been blogging for awhile is because, well, I feel like I have to blog about my NS first but I got lazy and started procrastinating BUT i have actually written a very long post bout NS but I wasn't very satisfied with it so I didn't post it. Anyway, like what they said "a picture speaks a thousand words", so here they're.

If you have this perception that National Service (PLKN) is a terrible place then well, I have to say that you are wrong. I, too, thought the same before I went but really, it's not that bad. The memories you made there will last forever and the people you met there are just simply amazing. NO REGRETS!! I went to Kem PLKN Arena Resort Temerloh, Pahang and I was in the first batch of 2013. If you have any questions bout NS, drop me a comment. I will try my best to help you.

Okay, so now it's time to move on. After I came back from NS, I had a break for like a month and a half and I started college. Yes, I'm a college student now in BAC (Nation's no. 1 Law School)!!! I don't exactly know what I want to be yet but this is a good start to becoming what I will be in the future, I guess. I mean education is a good start for everything.

Then now, back to me ranting bout my daily life. (Yes, the boring annoying Jia Sheng never did leave me) So let's talk about OBLIVION. You know, right after we leave school, we are expected to move on immediately but moving on is never as easy as people make it sounds like. Moving on is a phase which you have to be really really really mature to see through the past and look forward to the future. Moving on very often takes time. Some handle it better than another. To be honest, it has already been half a year and very often, I still find myself living in the past and it's a bit comforting to find out that I'm not the only one.

I think, moving on was never easy for me. I have always hated growing up. I always wish that the whole world will just stop aging, stop growing, stop everything for me and remain the same but this is highly impossible because I'm very obviously not Peter Pan (if only I were....) and even Peter Pan doesn't have the ability to stop all these things and that is why he had to go to Neverland. Yes, this is selfish but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who wants it, well, but too bad, we can't have it. It has always been a dilemma for me to leave the past and go on. I, sometimes, even got tears in my eyes when I was thinking bout the past. For example, I sobbed terribly in NS when I was thinking of the good old times I had back in school and I miss everyone and that was really really embarrassing.

Okay, back to "oblivion". Yes, we are all very afraid of being forgotten, being replaced. Right when the moment you found out that your friends or family or whoever has moved on and you see pictures of them with others, you will immediately feel betrayed or/and replaced. These are definitely not good feelings but what can we do. Having those feelings very well show that you are a little selfish b*tch. You don't want to be forgotten or replaced or not be "the one", you want to have them forever so you just sort of wish that you could lock them up in a little chest and keep it to yourself forever and this obviously is a very selfish act. You are indirectly hating them for moving on, just because you can't. Like what John Green said, "oblivion is inevitable". So why can't we just drop it and be happy for them? That's because it's not/never easy to let something you have been having for so long go. But we have to realise, first of all we are not living in a fairy tale. Our lives are very well laid out and written into stories by ourselves. Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, let alone our pathetic lives but that doesn't mean that we can't have one. We just have to see past the downs in life and find the beautiful struggling-to-stay-alive flower in the dying bush.

As easy as I make this sound, I still can't do it. A few friends and I had been feeling very nostalgic. We were walking down memory lanes and all. We know that this is very unhealthy for us and that we should be happy for them. &this is what I'm trying to do, BE HAPPY FOR THEM. Anyway, guess what, I dreamt about going back to PRIMARY school today. Haha, PRIMARY. Whatever, I'm very much repeating everything so kbai.

I find new chapters are easier for those adaptable and/or confident people.

I will try to blog about more interesting stuff? Idk, we'll see. I realised that my English has gotten really bad so now I'll probably blog more often to get better in English and also my journalism skill.

COLLEGE HAD BEEN OKAY BTW.

The very awesome shit things I did when I came back from NS. I don't know how my life would be if I haven't meet all these amazing peeps.