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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Know the signs of domestic violence are and learn more about how to help victims of abuse.

In
1981 the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence held the first Day of Unity to observe and
remember victims of domestic violence. Since then, October is nationally
recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Domestic, as well as dating and sexual violence, are expensive and
widespread problems in the United
States. Domestic violence causes victims,
witnesses and bystanders to suffer immense pain and loss. In addition to the
lives taken and injuries suffered, domestic violence destroys the sense of
well-being that allows people to thrive. It can cause health problems that last
a lifetime and reduce children’s prospects in school and in life.

Nearly one in
four women in the United
States reports experiencing violence by a
current or former spouse or boyfriend at some point in her life.

Women who have
experienced domestic violence are 80 percent more likely to have a stroke, 70
percent more likely to have heart disease, 60 percent more likely to have
asthma and 70 percent more likely to drink heavily than women who have not
experienced intimate partner violence.

Domestic
violence is preventable. We can help stop this violence and work to promote
healthy relationships, families and communities. Some of us may know someone
who is a victim of domestic violence. If you know or suspect that someone you
know is involved in an abusive relationship, it is important to recognize the
signs and become familiar with local resources.

Listen without judgment. Focus on providing support and asking questions. Although it may seem
to you that they should justleave,
leaving is not always simple and the process of leaving a violent relationship
has its dangerous.

Become familiar with local resources. Find out about the local services – phone numbers, places and
websites. Be able to refer your friend to an expert that can help identify
their options and develop a safety plan. Offer to go with them to talk to
someone.

Remember leaving or letting go is not
always the immediate remedy. It can take an average
of five to seven times for a victim of domestic violence to leave the
relationship. Some may never leave. Even if you are frustrated because you
care, remember that your friend or family member needs to know you are still
there for them. Pulling away from them will only make them feel more isolated
and less likely to leave.

Focus on what they want, not what you
would do if it were you. Ask your friend what s/he wants to do. Listen to him
or her talk about his or her needs, frustrations and fears. Just asking for
help or reaching out is a big step.

Healthy relationships should have the basic qualities of respect,
love, equality and communication. Everyone can and should speak out against
domestic violence. The problem will continue until we all stand up and say no
more. We need to teach future generations that violence is wrong and make
others aware of the signs of abuse. We need to be advocates for victim support
programs, and ensure services are available to all victims including children
who witness violence.

For
more information on domestic violence, see the following resources: