I mean, they're platforms. Covered in pony hair. And feathers. And studs. And some kind of gem thing. They have whipstitching. And they lace up. And they have a fabric welt. The only thing they don't have is even the most remote shred of decency. And don't even get me started on the tan and orange version.

Hard to say which is more offensive. They both have their own separate list of bullet pointed atrocities.

True, I DO have the black version of these Darcie Docs. And I LOVE these gold flocked Docs. But while I do LOVE animal print, this is proof that animal print can be used for both good AND evil. There's just something '70s-in-the-bad-way about the print. It looks like a fabric batik wall hanging that my mom mounted on a hula hoop and hung on the wall of our basement rec room back in 1982. True story.