Sunday, December 03, 2006

Now, Where Was I?

There are trips after which you think, "My, that was pleasant, but it's nice to be home." And then there trips, rare trips, after which you think, "I'm not the same person who left four days ago."

This trip was one of the latter.

Where did I go? Here's a hint.

No, not Anchorage. Here's another hint.

Who said Buffalo?

What do you need, a picture of a breast implant? I was in Los Angeles.

Here's how it happened.

Not long ago two knit bloggers struck up a long-distance friendship. This one lives in New York City. He was going out to Los Angeles for his second appearance on DIY Network's "Knitty Gritty."

He was talking about the TV appearance with the second blogger, who lives in Chicago. The second blogger made a joke about coming along to help out, and the first blogger said, only half-joking, that he'd already imagined that could be fun. And then they laughed, and then nobody was joking. And then suddenly there were plane tickets, and two bloggers who had never met in person sat in their respective cities thinking, "What the hell just happened?"

Which is how John Brinegar and I wound up walking at sunset on the beach in Santa Monica,

which I must say for the record is rather nicer than walking down State Street in December by myself.

John seemed to enjoy it, as well.

It turns out that he and I knit at the same gauge, which made it possible for me to help put the finishing touches on his step-outs for the show. (I won't explain step-outs, since you all read Yarn Harlot anyhow.) This photo is so that my Mom and Dad will know which bits to cheer for when the episode airs.

I just hope they spell my name properly in the credit roll.

Curiously, I have discovered that I have almost no photographs from a day-and-a-half at the studio. I was too blissed out to click the shutter, I guess. No, not blissed out. That suggests calm. I was giddy.

It can be tough sitting around on a set when you're not involved in the production, but the folks at "Knitty Gritty" were so jolly and accomodating I didn't feel de trop at any point. Instead, I got to watch Something Being Made. I've always enjoyed that. I'd rather be behind the scenes than in the audience, any time, and this was my first visit to a television studio.

And aside from the people who make the show, there were the other guests who kept popping in and out as their episodes were put together, including Amy Singer, Iris Schreier, Jennifer Hansen (aka Stitch Diva), and Stephen of HizKnits fame. Stephen taped just before John, and then much to my delight decided to stick around which meant we got to sit together and dish and bond and bitch and kvetch and giggle–you know, the things all men do when in good company.

And Amy let me try on this hemp slip-stitch sweater from her new book (the one with no sheep in it) which fit me as though it had been made to measure. (Amy honey, you have my address. Parcel post will work just fine–winter won't be over for ages.)

One moment so I can sweep up all the dropped names.

The day after the taping was free and clear, so we met up with the formidably cool Wendy of Knit and Tonic at Wildfibers, which I didn't realize until we got there is owned by Mel Clark, who collaborated with Tracey Ullman on Knit Two Together. I didn't buy much, but what I bought...well, I'm saving that until last.

Wendy led John and I out to Malibu, where we sat at a restaurant by the ocean and watched dolphins and pelicans and aggressive seagulls, and ate peanuts, and dished and bitched and kvetched and giggled and bonded–you know, the things all knitters do when in good company.

Afterwards, we went down to the beach and used Wendy's clapotis to pretend we were doing a location shoot for Rebecca magazine.

And then home, and then another sunset, and then a knitting lesson, and then the goodbyes, and the airport, and home again. Typing this, looking out to the frigid lake over the snow in Lincoln Park, through the frost that is covering half the windowpanes.

I don't know why, but a different person left for LAX on Wednesday than is sitting here right now. Maybe it's because Southern California has always scared and intimidated me–it's the only city I've ever been too that has done so. This time it didn't. Instead I felt magnified, more confident, as though I were being carefully lit and retouched everywhere I went. Hell, I even got a compliment from a stranger in a restaurant.

This all feels weird for a guy who spent the first 33 or 34 years of his life (I'm 35) trying miserably to be what other people expected him to be. Never worked. That phase is finally ending, I guess, although I don't usually notice it except in brief moments of clarity. I had one in, of all places, Wildfibers.

I was looking around in the sock yarns for something masculine and shoved aside a skein of Wildfoote in lime green to pick up a little bundle of quiet rust-and-brown that was behind it. And then I picked up the lime green. And I imagined myself wearing socks made of it, and I thought how bright it is, and how silly that would look, and how respectable men never, ever wear bright lime green socks.

And then in a flash I realized three things:

I love strong colors.

I really want a pair of lime green socks.

I just don't give a fuck any more if people think I'm respectable–particularly people who are going to judge me according to the color of my damned socks.

For 35 years I have allowed (among many others) the Pope; my nasty fourth grade teacher, Mrs Hess; various administrators, faculty, and alumni of Harvard University; the citizens of Back Bay and Beacon Hill; assorted ex-boyfriends; and my employers past and present to live in my head and decide what I like, what I wear, what I listen to, how I view the world and above all, how I view myself. Today's eviction day, folks. Get out.

Wherever you are reading this, whoever you are, I hope you feel at some point today...or any day...as good as I do right now.

Lucky you to realize all this at 35. I'm almost 50 and am still learning and relearning. Maybe I need to give out stronger eviction notices because the people in my head keep coming back! Good for you. Love the socks.

How can it have taken you 35 years to realize just exactly how COOL you are, when it took me one read of your blog? I am so happy for you Mr. Habit. I'm glad you're so happy. You deserve every single minute. Not coincidentally, Lime Green is my favorite color. Can't wait to see you in those socks!!

Franlin, you were in LA and you didn't call??? Glad you had so much fun, just remember to LMK the next time you're coming. Let us know what Dolores was up to while you were gone. And why not lime green socks? Seems like a perfect souvenir of LA.

My favourite pair of socks are a blinding handpainted combination of yellow and orange, and they are positively fluorescent. I pull them out on days when I need something to cheer me up. I hope yours do the same for you!

You know what's interesting? When you start listening to who you really are, really good things start happening. And all of those bad people/thoughts/inner critics start disappearing. Good luck, Franklin...if you keep remembering this (and you probably will forget for little periods), your life will unfold in ways that you've only dreamed.

They are charming socks. They will look very dapper and fabulous. I think that just a hint of the lime green under a cream trouser will be very elegant.

Also, if the biggest criticism that can be leveled at you is "He wears green socks", I think you're doing pretty well.

I do think that there is something in the water, however. I'm knitting socks for my fellow, who was very heartened by your previous post on sock yarn. He's agreed that he'll wear a sock with red stripes. I rather thought that would be far too jazzy.

Franklin, I was also 35 when I came to the same realization. Then, I quit my job and spent 4 months looking for the right one. My favourite quote from that time was, and still is "If you risk nothing, you risk losing even more" - by, of all people, Erica Jong.Congratulations and treasure those lime green socks.Leslie - the knitting therapist

Actually, I always find that if I see someone in a "respectable outfit" with a flash of something fun - like your socks - it always tells me that they have a good sense of humour and have a way bigger picture. I don't know if you are saying you don't give a f*** anymore, but rather saying that you would like to play with the cool kids now? But then I am British, maybe things run differently here. But the guys in the lime green socks tend to be the ones people gravitate towards at parties!Glad you had a good trip, always so refreshing.

Yay! Isn't it wonderful when you realize, I am REALLY understand, that it doesn't matter what other people think. I'm a little sad that it's taken me 40 years to really get it, but hey, 40 is the new 30, so I'm actually right on track. Congratulations on the lime green socks and all they represent.

Way to go! Love the sock color and even more I love the fact that you are making them because you want them. Wear them with pride.(Maybe it is rebellion against prison garb.)The voices are only good as guides as to what you yourself want and don't want. I hope your meditaion and studies are helping you become more of who you want to be.

I've always thought the point of wearing handknit socks was so I could wear the sort of outrageous colors that I wouldn't dare wear anywhere else on my body. Hot pink would look ridiculous anywhere near my face, but on my feet it looks pretty cool. Chances are nobody will notice them anyhow, and if they do, they'll just view it as eccentric behaviour.

You're going to love wearing the Wildfoote, BTW. It's kind of a pain to knit with due to being overspun (like many Brown Sheep yarns), but it wears like iron and it's very comfortable.

Hey! Awesome! So glad you got the lime green. Those judgmental voices will be back, you can never get rid of them entirely, but being able to tell what's you and what is the judge is a huge step. It makes such a difference.

Short-time lurker, first time commenter. I love the tone of your blog, and the color for your socks is great! If you have found out who you truly are before your are too old to do anything about it, you are ahead of the game.

Congrats on such a wonderful weekend!Life is too short to be bogged down by 'issues'sadly,it takes a long time and lots of 'issues' before we realise/accept this!Love the lime green socks,wearing them will make you smile.lindy

Yahoo, Franklin! It only took me to age 48 to learn freedom. Whereupon I began getting tatoos and piercing my ears another 10 times. If you want wild sock yarn, check out Colinette's new Jitterbug. And visit us in Seattle at The Weaving Works, where we love you dearly!

I'm as green, (as in envious, not innocent!) as those socks on many levels...you got to meet such great people, you had a fantastic time but mainly 'cause you got to be in LA for a whole weekend...I miss it so much!!

This transition is great. Tough but great. And 35 seems young for it. My friends and I wondered why we had to turn 40 before we really "grew up" in the sense of accepting ourselves for who we are and going out and doing what we do joyfully. You should feel good about how you are doing that. Very very few people get their shit together before 35.

35 seems to be that sort of year . . . I, too, had an epiphany at 35, made many changes, and today am the gloriously tired but happy parent to a most wondrous five year old. Sometimes what you really need is right under your nose, but you are looking far and wide, for you it may be the other way around? Congratulations on the self awareness.

OMG that lime green is gorgeous. I decided some time ago that lime green was my signature color. My what?! you ask...Well, I love lime green, so I faced the truth. I use it a lot and I wear it a lot. It makes me smile. How can you be in a funk when you are with your favorite color? Keep going. Now I want hand knitted lime green socks, too. Good thing I can knit myself some.I think I'll start tomorrow with a trip to the knitting store.

I am way late in the list of comments... but I am glad to see your glee!

I had a supervisor once who almost always wore RED socks, especially on days where he'd be meeting with Congress people or State Dept officials or other high(er) ranking dignitaries. For "Jobs Well Done" he bestowed a pair of red socks on the deserving employees. Purple socks went to those that fought the good fight to get something done in the public interest that was not necessarily a pet project of the dignitaries - sort of his Purple Heart award.

May you where your Lime Socks with pride and glee! ;) I'll be looking for your step-outs (note to self: Get the darned DVR!!!)

You wear those lime green socks--and any other color tht strikes your fancy! I was in Philadelphia for about 12 minutes this weekend. I stopped in at Rosie's Yarn Cellar and when they found our I came in from Chicago, the next question was, "Do you know Franklin?" It turns out that the woman who dyes Black Bunny works there. She was very excited to hear that I'd been to your Dulaan event where her yarn was given as a door prize.

Fabuloso! Look how many people love your little lime green self. It may not be easy being green, but you're the man to do it. If anyone dares to look sideways at those socks, just feel us all standing beside you.

FranklinI've finally found you. You have been missing since the wedding entry Nov 28.For some reason unbeknown to me I have not been able to access your blog - finally located you through another blog clicked on your name and there you are - you have been there all along and I have been clicking on you in my favourites in vain every week. I now have over a month to catch up on.

I wonder why we couldn't have felt like this in high school, and not worried so much about:a) what other people thought of us andb) what we thought of other people

I was very flamboyant in the 80s (big hair, colorful clothes—I dressed like Prince meets Poison). When I see photos from that era, I feel sad because the girl in the photos is giddy and extremely comfortable with herself, but the one I saw in the mirror this morning isn't even living on the same planet. Where did I go? I have faded as surely as lime green socks bleached and run through a brown dye bath. Or a molted peacock. How do I get back to the me I was before?

Lime's not my color, but red and purple together are... like Mountain Colors Bearfoot in Wildflower. Sorry to the person for whom that yarn was intended—I simply must make MYSELF some socks!

I didn't see LA or So Cal on your where next wheel of fortune, but was so excited to see a picture of you on Wendy's blog. If you moved out here, you'd really love it. You might miss knitting heavy wool sweaters, because you wouldn't need to wear them here. Come back again soon!

I love the green - those will be fantastic socks - I have been working on that lesson for 50 years (I'm 53 *ack,cough,ack* - how the heck did that happen I swear yesterday I was 20) Some days it is still a struggle - but it is getting to be more and more days of "screw them if they don't like it". So I am really proud of you that you discovered this important truth much earlier than.

Wow! What a post, I tell you what; sounds like you had a hell of a time in LA! So completly jelous that you go to meet all those wonderful people. Too bad you couldn't stay a few extra days to meet le harlot.

Wonderful Socks...good for you, who cares what others think. If I were you, I would wear them with see through goloshes that show your handy work :-P

I love putting on bright socks when I am feeling low, they make me smile and usually I am the only one who sees them. So why would you not have and wear lime green socks? I love doing the black all over with bright colored (yellow or orange are great) thing. Freaks people out when they notice. I love that. Which reminds me, I better get on with my yellow socks.

If you have boots on, it doesn't matter what damned color your socks are. You are allowed to have fun little secrets, and I think socks are great.

I am incredibly jealous of your beach photo shoot, fun at Knitty Gritty, yarn sleuthing, name-dropping-all that. And I am extremely happy you got to meet knitterly folks, because it's great to have an interest where the "rock stars" are so accessible . REALLY REALLY happy that you heard a loud popping sound when you figured out you have to please yourself.

LA?Too disappointed to comment further.Goodbye.Also, kiss your brain goodbye.Signed.East Coast Snob (and proud of it, of course) P.S. You will be sorry if you move to LA. The only saving grace will be that you won't know it.

You have experienced one of those life-changing episodes, and fortunately, you're intelligent and perceptive enough to see it and embrace it for what it was. They don't happen all too often. Enjoy it, roll around in it and let it take you where it will. It took me till I was 50 to understand the significance of them. Good for you. Mary

As I read this, I was listening to P!ink sing "I'm not here for your entertainment". Rather fitting, and I'm so happy for you. I love the socks, and think you will rock them, wherever you end up. (I'm still hoping for Canada).

Lime Green must be the color of independence. When I divorced, I painted a wall in the livingroom of my new house lime green. It gives me happiness everyday I see it.Congratulations on your Lime Green enlightenment!

As I sit here wearing my bright orange and blue (New World Order, dontch'a know) sort of fair isle socks I fear a bitch slap from Dolores. I can't believe that Franklin Habit would actually write "...lead Jon and I..." which I will attribute to the enthusiasm of being freed from dull sockdom since I know you know better.

At any rate it's heartening to know you're free at last and it didn't take you anywhere near as long as it took me. Congrats!

So happy for your epiphany. Life gets so much better once you can do the things that you know are right for you, and know it doesn't matter if anyone else understands or not. My socks are shocking pink - I was a "good" girl for my first 35 years, and didn't seem to benefit all that much from behaving myself. It's good to be shocking every now and again.

If people care more about the color of the socks than about your heart, then they are not worth spending time with.I love the color you chose, it gives you personality--brown and gray socks are everywhere, they are bland--keep it safe type socks.

I know the feeling, on the inside I am a Pirate Queen, but she doesn't get out much. That said my husband is buying me skull and crossbone earings for Christmas (with dangly hearts ... of course!), and I will think of your socks while I'm wearing them ;)

I don't usually comment on blogs--somebody usually already has said what I want to and does it better--but your last comment really got to me. Because today, for the first time in nearly three years, I woke up happy and at peace with myself.....and it's absolutely wonderful to know others are feeling the same way!

I think this is my first time commenting but your post just made me...what a lovely, moving, heartfelt missive. What an amazing journey for you...to LA and to peace and comfort with who you are.One thing tho, do the lime green and whatever other color moves your spirit but Wildfoote SUCKS, set yourself free with some sock yarn you'll really enjoy! I'll even send you a couple of skeins if you'd like :)

Congrats on the trip of discovery. I was 33 when I decided to follow my heart and listen to my own inner voice. It can be scary sometimes, but once you've tasted the freedom of being you, you never want to go back to being what others want you to be.

I love the green yarn, it's really a fun color. I can't wait to see the socks on your feet.

No, no, no, no, no. Chicago needs the well-turned, lime-green ankles of Mr. Habit FAR more that LaLaLand does. Here they are twinkling beacons of hope amid the snow-- there the sunglasses will mute them. Besides, if you moved there, where would you go on vacation? Stay here and keep the passion alive with distance and difficulty (you're a wise 35 -- you've learned that one, haven't you? Ask Dolores.)

Yay for you! Someday, someday I'll feel that strong. My BF actually buys just lady's socks because he loves all of the patterns and the style of socks. He gets looks and comments, but he likes them. And the plus is I can borrow all of his socks. Enjoy your limeys.

I hope those badboys (I mean the socks) have a funky stitch pattern too, with lots of YOs and K2togethers, etc. I have a great 1950s men's sock pattern called 'knotty (naughty?) pines' if you're interested. My pair is tasteful Loden Green. Anything goes with black leather biker/combat boots really.

I have three thoughts (yes, only 3 in my head at moment - how tunnel visiony of me):

1) Huzzah and furthermore amen2) Having recently visited Chicago (from my native NYC) and found it very - er - monochromatic, I am not surprised that a male person might catch some heat for wearing hot colors3) I recently had a similar moment related to deciding that it was ok for me to dance in the street if I wanted to (iPod revelation #23)

LA is a great place- we San Franciscans aren't supposed to think that, but I do. I'm headed there tomorrow.

I always wonder if I could live there & be so laid back & yet so superficially judgmental at the same time... but to those who think of LA as a brainless place, as the avowed East Coast snob did above, please keep in mind that most Angelenos are New Yorkers.

I visited Wendy's blog on Sunday & saw what I thought was a familiar face (familiar in the sense that I've seen the the photos of you that you & a few other bloggers have posted). I clicked to confirm & then read the accompanying text. I was thrilled that you were there & appearing to be enjoying yourself.

YEA! for you! You want lime green socks! Go for it! Why does it take us so long to figure it out & then takes even longer to get the courage to go for what we want.

And it feels good & warm inside when a "friend" feels good like that & shares that feeling. Thanks!

you go, franklin. do what you want to do. be what you want to be. knit what you want to knit. i like to knit socks, but i rarely wear them (unless there's a foot of fresh snow on the ground, i'm in my birkies, regardless of how cold it is), and i knit whatever trips my trigger. including lime green.

For some reason, I am much more fashion-daring when I've made it myself. you would think that when I am going to put hours into something and spend ridiculous amounts on yarn, I'd want it to be something I am damned sure I'll get a lot of wear out. But no, instead it seems to be that if I'm going to do all the above, I refuse to be bored. I can BUY boring stuff. What I make must be cool. Even if it's only cool in my head...

congrats on finding your inner lime-green-sock-man! I've been known as the lady with the weird socks for quite some time now. Funny though, it still hasn't evicted those nasty voices. Maybe it's because I actually LIVE in LA. And I don't wanna.

BRAVO! I am crossing my fingers that the Rose Parade will (soon) have a knitting theme... and that you can be Queen of your very own float. California is the perfect place to start wearing lime green socks. You are amazing.

Friend of mine wrote a book several years ago: "Orange Socks" (http://www.amazon.ca/Orange-socks-yuppie-goes-yogi/dp/0968143806/sr=1-23/qid=1165314108/ref=sr_1_23/701-8618491-1837924?ie=UTF8&s=books) She started with Orange Socks... but the concept is the same.

I met a couple men yesterday who could have used some lime green socks, and the wonderful attitude that embraces them! I was on a bus, carrying a couple adult-sized hula hoops (I'm a professional hooper, among other things).. and got in a conversation with one guy where he told me he'd never hooped, because people would make fun of him as a child if he did such a girly thing... and then some other guy joined in, with pretty much more of the same, but we wound up getting into whether or not it was cool that Canadians let men marry other men (I'm strongly FOR this..).. and eventually started bringing up religion, and it all went straight to hell from there (though they thought that's where I was already headed).

Anyway.. maybe to my annual wish for World Peace (rhinestone tiara securely in palce).. I'll add a wish for people to cease needing to measure up to others' standards, and do more of what makes themselves deeply happy.

It's definitely an age thing, to not care anymore & be who you want to be. Next up, you will no longer be willing to go to events or spend time with people who don't make you happy! You will say, life is too short & I am doing anything that is not going to make me happy.

Egad! I just got back from the yarn shop close to work, only to discover I had spent a good 22 minutes trying to decide "Should I get the lime green Wildfoote or the rust?" I got the rust, for my respectable spouse, and will go back for the lime, which I will knit on smaller than recommended as I am a loose knitter (disrespectable.) Welcome to the dark side!

Rock on, Franklin! I was just blogging about not giving into fashion anymore, and being happy with my own style, in my own skin. You will look fabulous in your lime green socks. Want to know why? because they will make you happy, and nothing looks better than happy.

Oh good lord I am older than you?Yikes.... Gotta run knit something purple and red.. ugh.. I so feel like I am missing out.. EVERYONE is going to Knitty Gritty.. they called me they asked me then they turned me down.. so I must live vicariously .. ah well glad you enjoyed yourself the socks will rock!

Your trip sounds great. At age 48, I am still working on the lesson that you learned in just a very short period of time. Maybe I need a trip to LA and some green socks. Actually, the trip sounds good but I would rather have some hot pink socks.

See it's people like you who make me want to pick up a pair of knitting needles and give it a whirl. And now I think I have an obligation to my five-year-old son since he, out of the blue, asked when he can learn to knit. Quick double-take! What? Sure!

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