roller coaster

long, flat stretches …. long dips where you never think you’re gonna climb out again …. a succession of very quick ups & downs …. it sure seems though that the peaks go by way too quick and the exhiliration is far too-short-lived.

some days the bumps are thrilling, others they turn a stomach inside-out.

sometimes it seems easier to enjoy the ride, other times it’s hard not to wish for it to be different .. or at least at a different point.

right now, i feel like i am trying hard to pull up out of a long dip down … there’s been a few short, quick ups, but i dunno … it feels like this ride needs some more maintenance to get it running smoothly.

maybe i need to be able to say screw it more, maybe i need to be less self-critical and harsh …. maybe i need to learn to be more thankful for what i *do* have …

yet right now, i just feel like i’m wobbling along on the track, not getting it “right’ and not sure where to tune-up …