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MOM STOP: Maybe now change will finally come

By Lydia Seabol AvantStaff Writer | The Tuscaloosa News

Published: Sunday, September 22, 2013 at 3:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Thursday, September 19, 2013 at 11:25 a.m.

Momma, what does it mean to be black?”

My 4-year-old daughter asked me this questions while we were driving to a restaurant recently. I paused, stumbled on words, not quite sure why she was asking or how I should answer. It’s not exactly something you find in a chapter in one of the “what to expect” books or in a parenting handbook.

My memory flashed back to fifth grade when my teacher explained to us that without our skin, everyone looks the same inside. That the only difference between blacks or whites or any other race is pigment. We are all human.

“Momma, did you hear me?” my daughter questioned.

I did. The hard thing was, I didn’t know what to say. At 4 years old, I don’t want her to know a difference between black or white or any other race. She has friends of varying different racial and cultural backgrounds. She, like many children her age, has an innocence and simple acceptance of people. I don’t want that to change.

Perhaps that’s the idealist in me and perhaps it’s too much to expect, living in Alabama, with its history of racial problems. But a mother can hope, can’t she?

Media swarmed the University of Alabama campus recently as news broke over two students who were turned away from sorority recruitment, reportedly for no other reason than they are black. One of them, the granddaughter of a UA trustee with a 4.3 GPA, would have likely gotten into a sorority. In fact, the sororities wanted to pledge her. But, according to sorority members who spoke out in the Crimson White on Sept. 11, a few alumni reportedly stood in the way.

It’s no secret that the Greek system at UA is a largely segregated one. There have been a variety of people with different ethnic and religious backgrounds to pledge over the past two decades — when I joined my sorority in 1999, there were Asians and Indians, Native Americans and Hispanics, Christians and Jews, all in the “traditionally white” Greek system. But, at that time, there were no blacks. Today, there still isn’t, save for a single pledge back in 2003. But, hopefully, that will soon change. The UA administration mandated last week that continuous open bidding be allowed all school year with the hopes that the sororities will diversify their membership.

What gives me hope is that the collegiate members are the ones leading the way. They are the ones fighting for it, demanding it, speaking out when they know what was happening was wrong.

The system has been segregated for too long. The segregation should have ended in my parents’ generation, in the early 1970s when more black students came to campus. The segregation of the Greek system should have happened when I was a sorority girl a little more than a decade ago. But I think fear stood in the way. No one would speak up for what everyone knew was right — until now.

The time is now, and the Greeks are demanding the change. Finally. For the sake of current college students, I am relieved.

For the sake of those in future generations — like my daughter — I am glad.

Reach Lydia Seabol Avant at 205-722-0222 or email her at lydia.seabolavant@tuscaloosanews.com.Visit www.tuscmoms.com to read her blog, meet other moms in West Alabama and to share photos, videos and more.

<p>Momma, what does it mean to be black?”</p><p>My 4-year-old daughter asked me this questions while we were driving to a restaurant recently. I paused, stumbled on words, not quite sure why she was asking or how I should answer. It's not exactly something you find in a chapter in one of the “what to expect” books or in a parenting handbook. </p><p>My memory flashed back to fifth grade when my teacher explained to us that without our skin, everyone looks the same inside. That the only difference between blacks or whites or any other race is pigment. We are all human. </p><p>“Momma, did you hear me?” my daughter questioned. </p><p>I did. The hard thing was, I didn't know what to say. At 4 years old, I don't want her to know a difference between black or white or any other race. She has friends of varying different racial and cultural backgrounds. She, like many children her age, has an innocence and simple acceptance of people. I don't want that to change. </p><p>Perhaps that's the idealist in me and perhaps it's too much to expect, living in Alabama, with its history of racial problems. But a mother can hope, can't she?</p><p>Media swarmed the University of Alabama campus recently as news broke over two students who were turned away from sorority recruitment, reportedly for no other reason than they are black. One of them, the granddaughter of a UA trustee with a 4.3 GPA, would have likely gotten into a sorority. In fact, the sororities wanted to pledge her. But, according to sorority members who spoke out in the Crimson White on Sept. 11, a few alumni reportedly stood in the way. </p><p>It's no secret that the Greek system at UA is a largely segregated one. There have been a variety of people with different ethnic and religious backgrounds to pledge over the past two decades — when I joined my sorority in 1999, there were Asians and Indians, Native Americans and Hispanics, Christians and Jews, all in the “traditionally white” Greek system. But, at that time, there were no blacks. Today, there still isn't, save for a single pledge back in 2003. But, hopefully, that will soon change. The UA administration mandated last week that continuous open bidding be allowed all school year with the hopes that the sororities will diversify their membership. </p><p>What gives me hope is that the collegiate members are the ones leading the way. They are the ones fighting for it, demanding it, speaking out when they know what was happening was wrong. </p><p>The system has been segregated for too long. The segregation should have ended in my parents' generation, in the early 1970s when more black students came to campus. The segregation of the Greek system should have happened when I was a sorority girl a little more than a decade ago. But I think fear stood in the way. No one would speak up for what everyone knew was right — until now. </p><p>The time is now, and the Greeks are demanding the change. Finally. For the sake of current college students, I am relieved. </p><p>For the sake of those in future generations — like my daughter — I am glad. </p><p>Reach Lydia Seabol Avant at 205-722-0222 or email her at lydia.seabolavant@tuscaloosanews.com.Visit www.tuscmoms.com to read her blog, meet other moms in West Alabama and to share photos, videos and more.</p>