'Bride Of Chucky' > Oprah

In an interview with Larry King-surrogate Piers Morgan, Oprah tells that the shitty box office returns of Beloved were the biggest failure of her life. The Jonathan Demme adaptation of Toni Morrison's novel didn't expect any competition when it opened against Bride Of Chucky. The film ended up being a steaming turd and came in at fifth place while Chucky came in second (Practical Magic took first).

"It premiered on a Friday night and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky. I didn't even know what Chucky was," Winfrey told Morgan.

In all fairness Opes, if you're going to get into the Child's Play movies, Bride is a bad place to start. You really need the scares of the original if you're to respect the series.

"I don't want to call it a turkey, but it didn't work, and it sent me into a massive, depressive macaroni and cheese-eating tailspin. Literally!"

So, she was literally falling through the air while eating macaroni and cheese? Literally. I'm sure.

"It was the only time in my life that I was ever depressed, and I recognized that'I am depressed,' because I've done enough shows [on the topic]. 'Oh, this is what people [read: poor people - Ed.] must feel like who are depressed.'"

That's what depressed her the most? I'd have thought it would have been when she opened that school for girls in South Africa and didn't do proper background checks. Which, of course, lead to the girls being sexually abused by the staff. Twice. Or, maybe she'd be depressed by all the sadness she's exploited on her show over the years. None of those things depressed her as much as having a bomb at the box office? Man, somebody better go over and check on M. Night Shyamalan. Make sure he isn't hitting the macaroni and cheese too hard. (Vulture)