Bitman

Bitman

By David Evjen

Bits and Pieces

January 28, 2011

The Bits

Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital yesterday after partying with porn stars. They would've taken Charlie to the hospital sooner but the porn stars thought he was moaning and groaning because he was enjoying himself.

Tinseltown Tattler

CHARLIE SHEEN was rushed to the hospital yesterday for severe abdominal pains, which TMZ says could be a hiatal hernia in his stomach. Of course, there was also that 36-hour marathon party at Charlie's place before he went to the hospital. The party supposedly started Wednesday morning when a briefcase full of cocaine was delivered. There were reports that Charlie was smoking cocaine while he critiqued porn on his TV and amazing his porn star guests with his knowledge of the subject. Among the porn stars on hands was Kacey Jordan. On Wednesday afternoon she Tweeted a photo looking down at her almost in place bikini bottom and the note: "It's officially 24 hours of drinking! Hehe." In the background of the photo was a coffee table with a can of Coca-Cola, Fiji water, mouthwash, Lysol wipes, cigarettes, keys, rings and various lotions and oils along with what appeared to be a sex toy. Kacey had left by the time Charlie was hospitalized, but neighbors say two other women walked alongside the gurney as he was loaded into the ambulance. This probably won't affect Two and a Half Men because the show is on a break this week.

Dateline Hollywood

MINKA KELLY and RACHAEL TAYLOR will join General Hospital's ANNIE ILONZEH as TV's new CHARLIE'S ANGELS.

Musical Notes

WILCO have formed their own record label called dBpm. This comes after their former label, Reprise Records, refused to release Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. No word on when their next album is due.

LIL' KIM will release a new mixtape called Black Friday. It'll be out on Valentine's Day and the title song is diss track attacking Nicki Minaj.

THE JANEDEAR GIRLS will make their late night television debut on Jimmy Kimmel Live next Monday. Their self-titled debut album will be out the next day and if you just can't wait you can hear the tunes at facebook.com/theJaneDeargirls.

Tubular

Primetime:

ABC: A Supernanny rerun and new Prime Time What Would You Do and 20/20

CBS: NCIS Los Angeles, CSI and Hawaii Five-0 reruns

Fox: Kitchen Nightmares and Fringe are new

NBC: A Minute to Win It rerun and a new Dateline

CW: Smallville and Supernatural are new

ESPN: Winter X Games and NBA hoops with the Celtics and Suns

Sports Shirt

The Tennessee Titans and head coach Jeff Fisher have parted ways following a 6-10 season and quarterback controversy with Vince Young. It ends Fisher's stint as the NFL's longest-tenured head coach, having been with the Titans since 1994.

Duh

Hamblen County, Tennessee's 45-year-old Rita Faye Zambrano wasn't pleased when she saw police arresting her brother. Rita then did the only logical and responsible thing. She allegedly turned around, dropped her pants and mooned the officers. It's assumed that Rita was even less pleased when the officers arrested her on indecent exposure charges.

History Lesson

1956: Elvis made his first national TV appearance on The Dorsey Brothers Show

Birthday Partiers:

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Founded in 1990 by David Evjen, Bitman quickly became one of the radio industry's top comedy and prep services! In addition to Bitman, David has written for stars such as Jay Leno and David Letterman and his material has been quoted by such publications as the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle and USA Today.

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