I asked Chris if he had planned to take leftover chili to work tomorrow for lunch. He said, “It’s almost impossible to bring food to work in the morning.” Yes, I’ve heard. Before going to bed, Chris fills his backpack with items for the workday. Computer? Check. Planner? Check. Glasses case? Trail mix? Phone? Check. Check. Check. When he hops into the shower each morning at 6:15, Isaac ransacks the bag and puts things away. It’s a daily search and seizure. I’m not a morning person (never have been, never will be), but I hear this conversation as I’m lying in bed, semi-unconscious:

Isaac (playfully): Shoes off. Sandals on! Chris: I’m not putting my sandals on, Isaac. It’s cold outside. Isaac (anxiously): Yogurt away! Chris: (searching through the bag): Hey, did you take the yogurt out of my bag? The one I put in before I took a shower? What else is missing? Isaac (crying): Yes! Yogurt away! Yogurt away! Yogurt away!

The kid could be a spokesperson for the Anti-Dairy Coalition.

Isaac guards the fridge so Chris can’t grab the salad, cup of soup, container of yogurt, or the last bite of chicken we grilled last night. I’ve mentioned it might be easier to take a week’s worth of yogurt to the office on Sunday. I’ve mentioned packing a lunch and hauling it to the car at 11:00 p.m. while Isaac is sleeping to avoid the morning chaos. That works occasionally, but now that the temps have fallen, nobody wants to eat a lettuce salad that has been frozen in the trunk. This morning Chris sent me a text. It said, “Isaac took the coffee out of my bag. I didn’t realize it until I got here! Is nothing sacred?” No, I thought, the only thing sacred is Isaac's anxiety-filled routine. With all of the uncertainty in his world, he wants control. He wants Dad to be home. He wants to make leaving as difficult as possible. He wants to open and shut the garage door as he watches Chris leave for work. Afterwards, he wants to drape his arms around me while I snooze my two alarms for eighteen minutes. He wants me to confirm he’s going to the YMCA on Sunday. He wants the yogurt to stay in the fridge. He wants the coffee where it belongs. Sure enough, I found an oversized red bag of Starbucks holiday cheer in our pantry. It was purchased for everyone at the office to enjoy. Precisely when it can be enjoyed might be the question . . .

Is ground coffee still good once it’s been frozen? The low tonight is 5 degrees.

Now I know why you have such amazing kids. It's because you and Chris are amazing parents. Do you give lessons? Oops, I forgot. The best teachers are those who model desired behaviors.You two are definitely master teachers.

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Chad

11/27/2013 03:12:51 am

Ah ha! The secret to Chris's svelt figure revealed!

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Karen

11/27/2013 05:51:29 am

I guess you will have to put the stuff he needs for work in a separate bag and take it to the office earlier in the week. Just like Tyann suggested. Then, the coffee. Just pack some you don't want to drink at work in your bag. (Take the other to the office earlier.) OR, have someone else pick up these items and have them bring them! OR, just know it will happen again and again and again and .... :) <3

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Author

I'm Tyann Sheldon Rouw, mother of three sons, wife to one husband, and lover of all chocolates. My twins have autism. I like the color green, advocating for autism, and trying to find the silver lining. Sometimes it's not easy. Usually it's funny.