And now for something very important: my thoughts on RuPaul’s Drag Race – Season 3

Let’s pause all this theatre nonsense and discuss what seems to be all the chatter in the surrounding environs — at least from my vantage point. Which is my home office, since we don’t get Logo on our shitty RCN service, so I’m forced to hunch over a laptop and watch season 3 of this ridiculously addictive show on our spotty internet connection.

And if that’s not commitment, I don’t know what is.

ANYWAY. RuPaul’s Drag Race: Season 3. Here’s a rundown of what I think of the remaining queens (in a very particular order):

Raja: As the boys at TLo said, we’re all just waiting for her to take the crown, right? She’s operating on a completely different plane from the rest of the queens in terms of style, confidence and experience. However, she’s a bit too cocky and slick, and I think when it comes down to her and whatever queen (Shangela or Manila, I’m guessing), she’ll lose out for her lack of warmth and accessibility. She’s not really a queen of the people — more of the fashion house and rocker scene. As my friend Herb predicted, she’ll be the Nina Flowers of this season (the most worthy contestant for the win, but … second place).

Manila Luzon: I love her look and her smile — it’s all sweet and sour. There’s a real cutting bitch behind all those sparkly teeth. However, she needs to lay off the Asian stereotypes. I’m not really sure who she is as a performer quite yet. But she sho look purty. And her runway outfits are fun yet totally ridiculous and right in line with what I expect from drag.

Shangela Laquifa Wadley: A.k.a. RuPaul’s pet. She seems sweet enough, and has the potential to be the winner (and yet another, tall, skinny black Drag Race winner. Yawn). But something about her comes off as so middling. Her makeup is harsh, her outfits are meh and the only convincing thing she had going for her Tina Turner in the Snatch Game was the wig. That said, she really worked the shit out of her hosting duties in the QNN challenge. And that’s her biggest strength: She’s a charmer, and someone who could make you laugh either in a one-on-one interview or hosting an event. And that’s what we want in a queen, right?

Delta Work: Love the old-school taky drag name. Why do queens take their drag names so seriously these days? Too bad SHE takes herself so seriously. Girl needs to loosen up. You aren’t auditioning to be a CNN reporter — you’re a large man in a tight dress. Again: not really sure who she is as a performer. Her runway outfits seem to want to make us laugh (particularly this one), but she always looks like she has a stick up her ass. It’s confusing. The drive and hunger are definitely there — she was the only one cast from an open call — but not so sure the talent or personality are where they ought to be.

Stacy Layne Matthews: And yet another queen plagued with doubt who doesn’t know who she is or what her strengths are. And she keeps admitting it — saying she’ll “bring it” … tomorrow. Get your shit together or get off the stage. I’m sure there are thousands of queens who are clamoring for your position on this show. Yes, she was a great Mo’Nique in the Snatch Game, but that’s it. Snore.

Alexis Mateo and Carmen Carrera: I get these two confused all the time. To me they’re all body and boobs and nothing else. Oh, wait, Alexis (pictured) did the hilarious Alicia Keys in the Snatch Game, right? She was funny there. And she also won the workout video challenge. Shit — she might be a serious contender. But her last gown (that pink, sparkly thing?) was a tacky train wreck.

Mariah (pictured) and Yara Sofia: I seriously had to visit the Drag Race website to remind myself who these two queens were. (And as Herb noted in my comments below, I completely forgot to incude Yara in my original writeup — which surprises me, as her creepy contacts remain burned in my brain.) While they’re each striking forces on the runway, in the competitions they’re practically invisible — which is detrimental for a drag queen.

Hey, Bob, I just discovered the VH1 repeat this week, which sure beats watching the show online. However, the catty “Untucked” extra is still only online – and definitely worth tuning in for the jungle red claws.

My top 3 this week: Stacy, Manila and Shangela. I LOVED that Stacy won the main challenge, and the nasty Delta was in the bottom. However, Manila is the one to beat in my opinion.

My bottom 3 this week: Carmen, Raja and Delta. Carmen is BORING, Raja’s appeal totally escapes me (I couldn’t believe her bizarre “National Geographic” drag), and Miss Work, well, she’s the Queen Bitch with nothing nice to say about anyone. And I have to agree with the one judge who meowed that she looked like “Ann-Margret – after the buffet.”

And, finally, I like Yara – she’s very sweet and funny – but those damn contact lenses are CREEPY!