Have you ever been bullied?

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Have you ever been bullied?

In this short film people share their experiences of bullying. Listen to their stories and discover why they think some people bully and how bullying has changed their lives.

Instructions

Do the preparation task first. Then watch the short film and do the exercises to check your understanding.

Preparation

Video of IE0BwLJq46k

This film was created by Into Film, an organisation that uses film and media production to develop skills in young people in the UK. To watch more great films, have a look at their website: http://www.intofilm.org/

Check your understanding: multiple selection

Check your understanding: gap fill

We often use fillers ('erm', 'I mean', 'like', 'kind of', etc.) to help us think while we are speaking. Listen from 00:54 – 01:23 again and fill the gaps with the words from the box.

Worksheets and downloads

Transcript

Transcript:

Interview 1 (Woman and boy)Woman: Have you?Boy: Err … no.Woman: No? I have, when I was little.

Interview 2 (Three young women)Woman 1: Well, when I was earlier, younger, I was bullied for about my height and about boys who used to be jealous that I was taller than them, so they used to bully me and yeah ...Woman 2: They used to call her a giraffe.Woman 1: Yeah.

Interview 3 (Man with glasses)Man: I’ve been in groups of friends where I’ve had jokes about me made more than other people did for example, but I wouldn’t say I’d been bullied like consistently.

Interview 4 (Four women and girls)Woman: Like, I was friends with a lot of people, but at the same time like, I was an easy target, I mean, I am and yeah ... they used to pick on me a lot.

Interview 5 (Blond woman)
I used to be a teacher, so I’ve certainly seen plenty of bullying in the classroom.

Interview 6 (Two guys)Guy: Oh yeah, definitely, erm, I mean ... I was bullied a little bit in my earlier high school experience, like I had blue hair and like I wore the fingerless gloves and everything, so, like, it ... it’s difficult but ... you know, like ... it’s ... I actually did, erm like, I ended up going to therapy for a little while, so like I’ve met a lot of people who have gone through bullying and it’s like one of those things you have to kind of help each other out ... yeah.

Interview 7 (Young boy)
I had an argument with a boy which then led to turned into a fight. I was in the classroom. People were constantly calling me a tramp and saying I live in a pit. Then, I was saying stuff back to them, the teacher caught me saying that and was going to send me out. She ... she heard them ... she was te ... she didn’t do anything ... um ... she just completely ignored them and then when I said something back to them, she was going to send me out on ... I packed all my things away and walked out of school back to home. This teacher come running after me and I completely ignored her while she carried on to shout my name. I felt a bit sad because ... erm ... I was ignoring the teacher and all she was trying to do was help.

Part 2: 'Have you ever been a bully?'

Interview 1 (Man with glasses): Probably yes, yeah, erm ... I think it’s easy to get, especially with the dynamics of a group, drawn into saying something that you wouldn’t say on your own, for example, yeah.

Interview 2 (Blond woman): I think if you define bullying in a very kind of open way, then yes, I think probably we’re all capable of bullying.

Part 3: 'Why do bullies bully?'

Interview 1 (woman and boy): I don’t know. I suppose maybe I was slightly different to them, I don’t know really ... I don’t know, erm, boredom? Something to do? They got a kick out of it?

Interview 2 (Man with glasses): I think obviously bullying allows you to feel ... um ... a sense of superiority over the person you’re doing it to. Now why people want to feel a sense of superiority ... is a different question, I guess, err ... there’s probably something that they’re making up for ... that might just be received wisdom, I don’t know.

Interview 3 (Three young women): Why? Erm ... probably because they’re jealous that I was taller than them ... or because ... I don’t know ... they just, the boys were boys and they’re ... I don’t know.

Part 4: (Boy on computer) 'How did bullying change the way you live your life today?'

Bullying has changed the way I live my life today. It’s knocked my confidence down and I never wanted to go to school again.

'Why do you think you were bullied?'

I have a low form of autism. My anxiety is much higher than everyone else’s and caused me to have many days off. Students thought I was skiving so started to bully me for it.

'How did you feel and what did they do?'

I felt constantly upset, they would tell me I had homework when I didn’t, meaning I was constantly stressed and they even made a song about me having days off.

Part 5: 'Looking back, how has bullying affected your life?'

(Two guys) So like, I think it like definitely changed me in a big way, because now I know what I want to do with my life and I know who I am and that that’s OK.

(Woman and boy) I could get quite angry about it, but I don’t and actually I know what they’re all up to now and I know that I’ve probably come out better than they have.

(Two guys) I’ve actually decided that I want to study psychology and I’m going to be a therapist, so, because I’d just like to help people ...

(Three young women) Well, looking back on it I kind of just laugh about it because it’s ... stupid to just bully in general.

(Woman and girls) It always makes me like ... stop before I say things, even though that doesn’t actually happen much any more. I’ve grown comfortable with people I’m with now though.

(Two guys) I realised bullying it really doesn’t matter, like ... you just have to be yourself, so it kind of like helps you realise ... like ... it, it hurts for a while, but at the same time it helps.

I had some serious problems with bullying when I was in the sixth grade. I love science and I love to study and learn new things. My classmates didn't like that so they started making fun of me. It started as a small thing, just a joke, but later it turned into real verbal bullying. Almost the whole class turned against me. I didn't get any support because the teachers thought that it was nothing serious. My parents couldn't achieve anything. The kids were ignoring them and continuing with their ruthless jokes. I started feeling depressed and I had headaches every day. I felt like if I was in hell. My parents were trying to help me, but as the bullying was not stopping we decided that the only solution is a move to another school. I moved to another school, and now I have no more problems with bullying.
Anyways, it will remain as an awful memory.

The same thought with ginggiang! Changing school is a good decision! You don't have to stick to where you are not supposed to be there. I mean 'mottainai'! Thanks to the bullies, you can find the right place and right people to get along fine! Life is a sailing. Have you found sb to sail with??
( ˘ ³˘)♥ (´◡`♥)

Actually, I didn't only change the school. I changed the town I live in. And the town I live in now is much more beautiful! It actually wasn't that easy of a change, because I had to leave my hometown, anyways about sailing:
I live in a coastal region and I sometimes go sailing with my friends.

Hi Ken ( konichiwa Ken - chan) :D
Thank for having the same thought with me !
Thanks to bullies, we become more stronger, but it's much greater when we don't have to suffer from bullying. We are stronger and braver, but we are lonely ! Communicating with friends and let them know our real feelings is better.

Btw, I have a question.Let me know your answer if you don't mind !
How will you feel after bullying someone ?
A) I will feel very very ashamed of my behavior, I extremely regret, I will apologize immediately.
B) I will feel nothing because I was bullied and now, I treat people the way they treated me.
C) I'll normal because faults belong to not only bullies but also victims, if they don't make me angry, I won't bully them.

Choose one answer that you agree with.

( I myself have just created this question and you can add some other answers ) !

I saw this, and now I really have to reply even if it is not meant for me.
D) I would never bully a person because I hate to hurt people. I even have problems when I am defending myself. I just couldn't hurt anybody.

Actually I've got a friend who has been suffering from the bully who lives close to each other. My friend is very generous and is a model student (unlike me!!), he's always willing to extend a helping hand to anyone including that dependent girl. They seemed to be getting on well as an independent + dependent relationship. But surprisingly enough, the shoe got on the other foot! The girl soon got on his high horse and gave continuing harassment to my friend. I didn't notice such a horrible thing had been happening until my friend asked me for some advice… I felt really sorry for him but all I could do was to say 'let it go, mottainai!
Eventually, I've recently heard that the bully's family has decided to get her undergo treatment for a mental disorder at the facility. It's bad about the girl, although she is actually good at studies. A lot happens…

Anyway, I don't want to hurt anybody, of course. I just recon staying away from the bully doesn't mean hurting them. Because spending time with the bully benefits nothing for nobody, on the contrary, it can end up hurting people who are on your side.
Oh…. hate becoming an adult!!

Hi Giang, xin chào!
Thank you for the Japanese greeting (actually, kon'nichiwa!) :D and your insightful comment!
Well, in my considered opinion, yes, you're totally right, but can I ask a question? You said "we are stronger and braver, but we are lonely" means you can accept suffering from bullying to distract your loneliness? Why do you feel so lonely at the cost of bad effects on you and people around you? Okay, I think to overcome one's loneliness (that's universal!) may be the starting point to stop bullying, cuz to bully is to tease someone whom the bully look down on (not from jealous!). It may be possible to think that what the bully kick around is not you but weakness in you or in the bully themselves! As you know, unfortunately bullying is common in wild animals as well. Does it make sense?? I might read too much.

Anyway, as for your question, I strongly believe that the bully is somewhat different from normal people (I mean they have a negative state of mind) and usually extremely self-centered, which is way above my head, so I would choose c)! But maybe they enjoy bullying regardless of provocation.
I might be wrong, what would you think giang?

Kon'nichiwa! :D
Thank you for your reply about my comment.
Aha, sounds like you're stuck in the eye of typhoon...I understand that to and from circle, though!
And… well, you're right, I have had little experience of being bullied OR little did I notice the doing OR I've been just out of favor with the bullies….. so I bet you're much more attractive than me in appealing other's interest! I would love that charm point in you but never would I think to tap it for my gravanity! Cuz, I never bully everyone as well!
So if you get bullied again, why not look at it this way: look towards people who have positive impacts on you as opposed to the bully! Stay away from the bully's charm and aim high! I think that's your choice!

Hi Djolox
I am sorry to hear your sad experience. It's great that you love science and want to discover new things. If I were your classmate, I would admire your wisdom instead of making fun of you like your classmates.

Science is a logical subject and students who are passionate about science always know the way to solve problems. Moving to a new school is a good way !

I hope you will find friends who have the same interest with you ! If bullying remains again, please talk to your teachers. They will help you, I am sure ( because my teacher helped me solve problems I had, now everything is great.)

Hi Djolox,
Thank you for sharing your story here. I was sorry to read that you received no support or help from your school. Changing schools was a huge decision for you and your parents to make. It's good that you spoke to your parents about it. It's really important to speak to an adult if you have any sort of bad experiences or problems with bullies.
Best wishes, Jo (LearnEnglish Teens Team)

I have experinced quarrels with my bro and sis whenwe were younger!! Through those experinces, we became stronger snd wiser. Hope that's not only my thought........! .............
+。:.ﾟ(๑＞◡╹๑)(๑╹◡＜๑):.｡+ﾟ

Hi iva10. I am sorry for hearing your bad experience. Don't be sad and scared ! I used to be bullied, but my classmates didn't throw rocks at me, they only talked terrible things about me. It's difficult to suffer in silence and it's not easy to talk to a person whom you can trust. I hope you could find the right way to solve your problem. I believe that the girl who bullied you will feel ashamed of her behaviour some day in the future.
Here is my advice: Be strong like Taylor Swift in the song called " Mean"

Hi,gianggiang.Thank for your comment.I wasn`t sad about it but i felt disapointed because i trusted that girl.We solved that problem easy we just talked to the parents of the girl and the bulling stooped.But after that our relationship was never the same.It has some bad things about it now i can`t trust anyone and i can`t tell them what i really think.

Hi Iva10
It is very sad when we stop trusting someone. It is like there is a space or a deep hole in our hearts and souls. You are right, after happening something disappointing, the relationship will change and it is not as good as before.
Anyway. past is past. Be happy!
Sometimes, I feel sad because of my classmates' behaviours but I believe that they will regret some day.

Hi iva10, I'm sorry to hear your bad experience, but I think you are smart to have solved by talking to the parents. Besides, I think you are lucky! Because I know there are some parents who won't admit their kid's bullying, in fact they snap back at the bullied for blaming them! ……..
So…. anyway, put this behind one!
By the way, Iva, I'm just curious to know why the girl said such rude things to you??
If you don't mind, I'd like to know if there are a few guesses about preventing bullies for the future?
Elsa☆

Thank you about that what you said it s really nice to know there is someone who cares about you.And to answer to your question,i don t know why the girl said those things because we were really good friends.After that we stopped to hung out ,but it s a bit hard because she lives near me and we go to the same school.When i see her i always remember what happened that day.