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[Cut] None of Our Business

This one’s usually on a train or a plane, or somewhere where you are stuck with these assholes who grab their voice like a rubber ball, and hurl it about the cabin, allowing to bounce violently off every available surface, spilling people’s drinks, hitting them in the eye, and just generally being a totally unwarranted and uninvited annoyance.

Why is it usually guys dressed in business attire? Why do you guys think you need to speak loud enough about the business dinner in Detroit so that everyone on the Kyestone 644 to Harrisburg can hear it? Is that your little device you use to validate your friendless, sexless existence? Do you go out of your way to make sure we hear your hilarious story about how the open bar got a little crazy and oh man, “…it was just like college.”

Ahhhh… and there it is.

You want us all to be aware that while most people’s lives have turned to kids and tax forms, you’ve still got your eyes on the prize: gettin’ drunk and havin’ all that premarital sex I’ve been hearing about. Once a year. In Detroit.