Real Housewife's Fabulous Foreclosure Auction

by CHLOE POST · July 26, 2010

Have you ever dreamed of living in a terribly gaudy, brown (with an orange tint of course) overly lavish world of jerseylicious junk?! Well, my friend, your dreams are about to come true! The infamous table flippin' Teresa Giudice is auctioning all of her absurd crap from her mansion (which is also for sale!)..

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Take note, once you officially come to terms with being $11 million in debt, it is time to let go some of your precious items. For instance, nostalgic items such as a faux marble chess set, a loveable 6' ceramic Satsuma Temple Urn, and even the priceless collection of completely unnecessary chandeliers...

When your hair is too teased and your poof is at its prime, an ordinary mirror won't do. You need to go wall-sized.

A telescope for when you have crazies living in your town who will most likely try to kill you, or hang out with creepy guys who just got out of prison.. Who will kill you.. (Ahem, Danielle) And you need to keep a look-out!

A grand piano, to help you come up with a shiteous song that will most likely be totally uncreative, yet completely catchy, of course, in Real Housewives fashion!

The perfect set of sofas to hide your pesky spray tan stains!

And of course, you can't live in the Dirty Jerz version of Versailles without a suit of armor. Classy? Yes. Understated? Of course. Completely Necessary? Absolutely.

I must say I'm pretty disappointed her "Italian sex swing" from her mansion isn't on the auction list.. I'd really like to know what distinguishes an Italian sex swing from a regular one.. Oh well, at this point she is literally selling everything and anything she owns. Can't wait to see what's next, I bet it'll be something "fabulicious."