Thursday, August 23, 2007

Peanuthu akbar!

Homeland Security sources across the river in Vancouver, Washington released this announcement today that a pair of jihadi suicide squirrels took out part of the downtown Vancouver power grid. More then 3,000 people were left without power as traffic snarled along Mill Plain and Evergreen Boulevards.

The squirrels apparently chose the substation at random, chewed through the power transformer cover squeaking "God is Great! Peanuts for the oppressed Palestinian chipmunks!" in squirrelish before exploding in a shower of sparks that left the equipment wrecked and the squirrels united with their 72 virgin hamsters in Paradise.

President Bush, when asked for comment, replied "You see why this squirrel terrorism must be defeated. If we don't fight them in their trees, they will follow us home and we will have to fight them in our garages. We cannot fail; we must win the War on Squirrelofascist Terror."