Do any of my fellow student of aikido have and practices or techniques they would gladly share to help me with my quest to be totally relaxed while training etc or is it simply a case of only in time wil the mind body and spirit will be as one ???

graham ....

Talking about relaxation too early in the process of practice is counterproductive. First you need to develop a strong solid basis, based on right use of muscles as Kevin described. It may take many years.
Most of ppl who are telling 'relaxation' stories have no idea what they are talking about. They develop sloppy, weak body, horrible posture and very poor techniques and you can see it on their videos. So forget about relaxation, develop strong power of techniques.