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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Unless you live under a rock, then you are well aware of the disaster that is currently happening at West Virginia University. The names Garrison and Bresch will forever be intertwined with scandal and dishonesty. I haven't yet decided on my stance as to whether I believe that Garrison should resign or be forced to resign. I'm struggling with that decision. However, one aspect of the situation that I have a definite opinion about is what happened at the graduation ceremony this weekend.

I was appalled at the behavior of the students and the teacher at graduation. The Gazette reported that they "politely" refused to shake hands with Garrison. There is nothing polite about improper HOME TRAINING! No matter what one's stance is on the situation, one should not be disrespectful. One might not respect the man in the position, but one better damn well respect the position, the office, the sanctity of a graduation ceremony, the degree, and most importantly, THE UNIVERSITY!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

If I wasn't going to hell before, I might definitely have a reservation now.

I'm driving home from work today. As always, I listen to the rerun of the morning'sThe Howard Stern Show. Today's guest was Steven Guttenberg (PoliceAcademy, Cocoon, and most recently Dancing With the Stars). Howardtells him that he knows one of his ex-girlfriends, and according to her,Steven can do some pretty amazing things in the bedroom. Having thejuvenile sense of humor that I do, I mean come on shit and fart jokesare the best, my ears perk up and my attention has been caught. SGgets a bit embarrassed and tells HS that it really isn't what heknows/does, but that he was blessed with some really, really goodgenes as have all Guttenbergs that have come before him.

I'm like...really? I mean really? I'm suppose to believe that SG ispacking some major heat?!

I really should have been paying more attention to driving, mysurroundings, and what was going on around me. I am going throughdriving motions at this point. My car is getting me home. I'm nowinvested in this conversation.

SG admits to having a 10 inch penis when erect!

I'm shocked!

I'm also now aware of the fact that I am behind a bikers' brigade onKanawha Blvd and they are driving sooooo damn slowly I can hardlyhandle it, but...

SG then admits that he quite the man in the girth arena as well.

I ignore the bikers. Back to penis talk. This conversation was goingsomewhere.

Then I notice that there is a cop in front of the bikers. What thehell are the bikers doing a poker run in the middle of the day? Andwhy would a cop be leading them?

SG has a 10 inch penis! No way!

I half ass look in the rear view mirror...I see a litany of cars withtheir lights on with little flags on the top of them.

WHILE LISTENING TO SG AND HW TALKING ABOUT SG PACKING THE MAN MUSCLE,I HAVE MANAGED TO INADVERTENTLY BECOME THE SECOND IN COMMAND IN AFUNERAL PROCESSION FOR A FALLEN BIKER!!!!!!

Not knowing how to completely and tactfully get out of said situation,I had to run EVERY red light on the blvd AND make the turn ontoGreenbrier Street with the procession. I think quickly, said a smallprayer to Jeebus above asking for forgiveness, and did a hail Mary turnon to Quarrier to get home. I think they all saw me! In fact, I knowthey did.