Saturday, February 17, 2007

I DEMAND THIS STORY!

I think it's pretty clear that Lois Lane, written up to her best and not as a marriage-obsessed ninny, is honest and fearless. (Frankly, I believe the fearlessness is amply demonstrated by the amazing number of building collapses, floods and explosions Lois has been in- she's been through all that and she can still leave the house. I couldn't.)

"Honest and fearless" are the primary job prerequisites for being a Green Lantern. (For anyone reading this not into the whole comics thing, a Green Lantern is a space cop with a magic ring that can do anything, as long as it's colored green. It's a cool gig.)

Come on, DC, we all know those Elseworlds are coming back. This is an ideal story idea. Even without them, there's the return of the Multiverse, dream sequences, drugged hallucinations, Lex Luthor, Dr. Destiny and all sorts of crazy ways to make this happen. Just ten pages and I will love you forever! (Or until I see her in an Ivan Reis costume.)

12 comments:

Sorry to quibble, but when written well Lois is not stupid. (Remember, Superman always has to cheat and gaslight her in all those Silver Age secret identity farces.)

However, she will need an exit strategy at the end of the ten pages, and I submit that being bright enough to pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel can be that exit strategy. :)

I would definitely buy this as an Elseworlds. A world with no Superman (or perhaps an EEEEEVIL Superman - like the one who starred on all of those covers in the Silver Age) is in need of a Green Lantern and Abin Sur's call hits Lois (doing something dangerous while checking out Ferris Aircraft for a story) instead of Hal. Genius.

I'd be happy with 10 pages. But I'd be HAPPIER with a full-size story.

This idea has seized my Sudafed-addled mind, and I can't leave it alone.

It would have to be done in Silver Age style, perhaps drawn by John Romita Sr. in his best Romance Comics style. Lois would also havae to wear a GL uniform that would incorporate her perky little pillbox hat, gloves and matching pocketbook and pumps.

Hal Jordan would of course pursue her, but she on the other hand would have a torrid affair with Graf Toren,...driven mad with desire by his manly mustache.

Superman would be a complete dick as usual, and somehow Lois would incite an invasion of Oa by the Trackzelbonians...when she would wake up and realize that it was a dream...just a dream. Except what is Guy Gardner doing in her shower?

Lois could look *really good* in a green dress with matching hat and pumps. Or she might go for a tasteful uniform resembling the generic GL one.

Silver Age Lois, would, of course, accessorize the uniform on panel--

LOIS (looking in mirror): Not bad, not bad at all... but this outfit could definitely use a little more STYLE!

And then she'd make her nice Jackie O hat with the ring.

Modern Lois has a tougher time admitting she cares about clothes.

(By the way, I'm not trying to make a sexist thing out of this. If I had a GL ring, I would tinker with the uniform *endlessly.* I mean, how can I be a space cop if I look too ridiculous to project authoritah? Of course, I could ask the same question about the queen of the Zamarons.)

Interesting premise, but I don't really see Lois as a space cop. Superman spends so much of his time needlessly saving this competent, practical, intelligent woman from herself, that without a subplot where GL Lois forces Supes to retain his knight-protector inclinations, I can't see how this would work.

I've never read a Lois story where her fearlessness wasn't in part tethered to the fact that the most powerful metahuman on the planet always watched her back. She'd have to relinquish that omnipresent (and kind of oppressive) safety for a Oan power ring given this concept, and I'm not sure that's a reasonable choice.

Bat -- 'bout as many times as Hal Jordan tried to trick his girlfriend into not knowing he was GL?

Seriously, though, part of what makes her rep as a reporter is that she doesn't make stuff up and she despises repressing stories no matter the consequences, which makes for the honesty.

James -- In modern continuity, this IS the woman who jumped off of a freaking building to trick Superman into an interview. No guarantees he'd save her, just the slim chance.

In the original continuity, she called Clark a wuss on a date and slapped away the guy who tried to cut in when they were dancing. Then she leaves the date to walk home alone. The guy who tried to cut in turns out to be a mobster, and they catch her at gunpoint and grab a cab. She cooperates, as it is a gun but rather than turn into a panicky damsel, she goes the route of the "plucky romance heroine" which is what the character was designed for.

That's really just two examples (which I picked because both are origin story examples from before she could definitely count on Clark to come rescue her) that put her on the "Fearless" side as opposed to "suicidal."

The going theme in Lois Lane stories is that she'd get into deep shit whether Superman were there or not, because when she's after the story, fear and common sense tend to get pushed aside in favor of seeing the truth.

denigrate Lane's intelligence if you will. In fact, I'll help you with that. But don't knock her guts, as that's one of the most consistent parts of the character over the past 60 years.

Also, while Lois might be dishonest in the scheming sense (equalled by Hal, as Ragnell mentioned), she was always incredibly self-honest. Lois was always very true to herself, which is where the honesty of the Green Lanterns really shines through.

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