Chauncey Billups

Fall Back Shaq...I'm Starting Now

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

TRAMPS LIKE US

So Ron gets his time off , Ben Wallace gets a slap on the wrist, Bill Walton pitches a fit ("The shock, dismay and sadness have not diminished at all with time" CHILL OUT JEFFERSON AIRPLANE, IT'S NOT LIKE A KENNEDY GOT SHOT), that fat kid who looked like Turtle from Entourage gets his dome dented by Jermaine (don't worry, when he's done raiding J.O.'s financial holdings he be able to cop a fine new Marc Jacobs head-piece), and David Stern let the thunder roll down the mount.
I don't really have anything to add other then:
1. Ron should've gotten maybe 30 games, at the most.
2. This whole, "How will we the fans protect ourselves from the raging fury of rogue NBA players vaulting into the stands" line of thinking can be answered quite easily: MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DROP THE N-BOMB/TALK SHIT ABOUT A GUY'S FAMILY/TELL PAUL PIERCE YOU HOPE HE GETS STABBED AGAIN/THROW SOLID OBJECTS AT PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T WANT STEPHEN JACKSON TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Indy is fucked, yes. But I think Billy Hunter will get the O'Neal suspension knocked down. While young J.O. did probably inflict the most damage (see aforementioned chooch with knuckle imprint on his face), he was basically protecting what is supposed to be a player's sanctuary. If he comes back and they can stay in the hunt until Jackson returns early next year, Indy could still make noise. Peace out, Dunny Artest. May you menage with Allure and chomp Paxil til the '05!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

I GAVE YOU POWER

Gilbert Arenas is a man capable of dropping 20 points and 10 assists on any given night. He is also a man capable of going cuckoo for coco puffs at the drop of a dime. Gil missed the season opener with his Wizards due to an NBA suspension, for "a gun registration mishap." Gil had this to say:

""It was an oversight on my part,"

Gil continued...

"My kids went out and took care of biz anyway. Young Juan Dixon, frail child that he is, he lit up the motherfucking night. Antawn my bredren from the Golden State, he put down 34, and we straight up pee-peed on the parade down there in Memphis. And Dave Stern, I know you were there, but you didn't want to approach me, Brody. I got the right to bare arms, Mang! Black Steel in the hour of chaos! One!"

The NBA jump-off has jump offed under the shadow of the Presidential election. You might think that most ballers of the L don't care who sits in the White House, as long as their ACL holds and their check clears. WRONG. Just ask Scot Pollard, back-back-back up forward/center of Larry Legend's Pacers. (BTW, Scot voted Bush)

"Hey, I'm just glad it's over. I didn't want another drawn-out thing, because if we're going to go around and blow up people and tell them democracy is the greatest, we ought to be able to set an example and go out and get it done right." Word to the Herb! But Scoty! You know that this means you can no longer sing the Interstate Love Song with your man Jeff Foster, right. Man love gets the back of the hand, Duke! You reap what you sow!