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Sunday, January 21, 2018

Sunday In House Gists -Baddest Lies You Have Ever Told...

Ever told any lie that was so bad that you felt your nose stretching instantly?

The kinda lies that would wake the dead?The kinda lies that can start a storm?The kinda lies that turn black hair into white?The kinda lies so bad that it looked someone farted directly into your nose but you were NEVER CAUGHT?......Or were you caught?

70 comments:

I ones broke off a relationship just b4 it started for the most uninteligent lie i ever heard. The low quality of that lie scored him so low in my IQ rating and i told him.Bad enough that he lied. Worse off when the quality of lie is poor.

I am sorry that you were RAPED but I have to ask why didn't you go to the hospital to get checked upon after the incident.

Like pregnancy is one of the smallest consequences of RAPE, you could have gotten HIV or some incurable disease yet you just let it all slide and ended up with a child that you didn't need to have if you had done the needfull...I hope the lies you told doesn't come back to hunt you in the future

My ex,yes I had to ex him fast so I could breathe fresh air. He kept on throwing these bombs yet borrowing from me my little cash. He keeps telling me he is about to make serious money that his generation won't be able to finish. He calls himself otedola.Yet recharge card money, indomine etc na my head

😂😂😂😂😂😹😹😹 pls don't ask me what's funny? I just have to release tention, amebo dey give one kyn fresh blood ehn. Is somebody ashamed of her in-law or what? LIB did not see the hand to type and post about this latest trend since yesterday abeg she dey sleep? Cold water fall on you Linda, do your work o #amebonaworkafterall Stella allow me abeg 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anon 15:28 this one pain you well a, go and die! She'll post worse about other people just to generate traffic, let her use this one and do same na 😂😂😂😂 I'll continue laughing you shameless lots he/shediot. Do unto others as you .......

So mothers in the house please come to my rescue.I have been Ttc for years and God just blessed me now,we are at that "always tired" stage. I am not always hungry but I force myself to eat because of the tiredness. Please is there much I can do about this?

Congratulations! There is nothing much you can do dear, just take lots of water and eathe fruits. You will soon pass this stage and don't forget to register for ante natal, take your drugs regularly,get enough rest and put your mind at rest. After 9months come here and testify with your baby. Congrats.

Please see your dr and check your iron level. I never felt tired like that in the final stages. I was only tired of not being able to sleep comfortably. Your not having appetite isn't good too. See your dr.

I will never forget this particular lie, after WAEC my set planned a beach party, na so I think d lie wey I go tell my mama because I know she will never permit me to attend any beach party so I told her that they asked all ss3 science student to come for chemistry practical because we will need the procedure to answer some jamb questions when it's time to write jamb. Hnnnnn that is how I got permission, my people na my first time to go beach o, I no know say na so beach far o, badagry beach from Apapa, hnmmmm my heart Don begin beat before we reach beach, when we got to there, you know teenagers na, dem no gree come back, after the party my fellow bvs hnmmmm as we were going to where our bus parked, gbam I just heard my name, when I turned it was my elder bros friend who is a D.J, he came to play for another school party, una know say those days u have to carry your D.J to the beach, no be now wey thngs Don change, my people I faint 20times and he noticed it, I greeted him and he said don't worry I Wil not tell your brother I saw you because he knows they will never allow me attend such party, I thanked him and left. The journey back home was story for another day, I was thinkin of the lie to tell my mum again that made me come late when suddenly I heard the driver saying, abeg na here I go drop all of una, I no fit reach una school gate, chei, when I looked out, it was in front of my mum''s shade where she sells vegetables and I stated crying, meanwhile I changed from my normal house wear to party cloth in school and I left my bag. My people as I came down from the bus, na eye ball to eye ball I jam my mama, the beating started from the bstop and lasted for almost one week don't ask me how come I was beaten for one week o, cos through out that week any little thing I do my mum will beat me, if I pour water on the floor that Is how she will start shouting, na so you lie say u dey go school whereas na beach, the next thing na slap. I can never forget this incident.

You should not be in the medical profession. That was a costly lie. You must be a liar in your normal life. Thank God you were caught and dismissed. I hope none of my relatives come in contact with your type.

Give up on yourself ma'am. You attack people on here so enjoy it.You made a mistake that could have cost a life. It's people like you that kill medical profession in Nigeria. You can't be on night shit and say you are being disturbed. That why are there- to be disturbed! You were employed to work, not read or sleep!. That's why its called NIGHT SHIFT. I felt like slapping you reading this. Such arrogance!

I had to go anon abeg. Two solid lies came to my mind.One happened about 4years ago. I've known this guy since we were little, then they moved to another state and we lost contact. Fast forward to years later, we found each other on Facebook and his profile pix was everything to die for. Then time to visit and all, O traveled to his base, dude was staying in face me I slap you. Abuja is a place I can't live in if I don't have enough money to rent a better house. I got to the place and couldn't bath, I couldn't eat. I died and Jesus woke me up because of the environment. Dude was talking marriage, in fact that was the reason I went there, to meet his father. I thought of my life, my future and decided not to go ahead with it. I woke him up one night and told him things that never happened. I told him that I was AS, since he's also AS, he tried to convince me that we'd find a way out. I started serious crying ooo, I told him again that my enemy can't conceive because of the last abortion she did. She has done about 3 abortions and the doctor told her that her womb was already damaged. So I wouldn't want to deny him the joy of being a father. He's an only son. So I twisted the lies eeeh, he started crying and praying for me. I left that morning, never to go back again. Whenever I remember this, I always ask God for forgiveness and reject every negative words I said about myself that day.

Well I just told a lie yesterday and I'm wondering for how long I can keep up. I always use to be a good girl faithful to a fault. Until men started dealing with me. My so called bf of 3years got married to his ex and I didn't find out till one month to the wedding. We stay in different states.Since then I vow never to keep all my eggs in 1basket.I have been dating a guy for a year now. But this guy is stingy as fuxkDos nothing for me,but he is serious about getting married,he lives abroad But comes home often.I have been told that is how London guys are. He buys me stuff But has never given me 1kobo But just recently I met another guy I have also been dating,based here. This one is generous to a fault,takes care of all my bills,but I know I can't marry him,he's much older,divorcee and Muslim and isn't even ready for marriage at present.He came yesterday and looked into my phone. And saw alot of calls from my bf.I had to lie he is my friend,as this guy is very jealous. If my guy comes to Nigeria I'm wondering how im going to keep up this lie of dating two men.Pls i need advice,not judging. They both have their uses and I'm not ready to let any go. Atleast till my bf proposes. What do i do when one calls and I'm with the other.

At first it seemed like I wrote this. @ anon15:30.This December I picked a quarrel with much older lover (who’s really pushing for marriage but I don’t want) to spend a week * with my abroad bf (whom I’d love to marry).

Second one happened just this December. I thought I was in a relationship with this guy, he told me loves me, he's not out for sex and all that bullshit. He's ready to get married asap. Then the very first day I went to visit him at home, he forgot the no sex promise he made to me. I won't call what we did love making because I never enjoyed it. Dude was so big that he couldn't achieve anything. He tried like 3 times but the thing no gree pass normal level. But he sha released. Outside. To be continued...

Ha! I lie no be small. My kinda lie is actually to save face. But there's this particular lie that whenever I remember it I start to laugh. I actually thought I would gain admission into the university immediately after secondary school.(Me and my squad then were craving to enter immediately) Yimu for me!! Jamb form came out, and my mom was like be patient you are still young, there's always a next time. I said okay o, she's the boss. The next year, I registered for jamb. I wrote and passed it. I wrote post jamb for Uniport but I wasn't given an admission. Mehn the heartbreak.! Two years after I still haven't gotten an admission. Now the lying part is me telling some of my classmates that I am in school already. Seeing my friends posting pictures in their lecture room really made me sad! Well I kept up with the charade for so long while I pray for an admission. One unfortunate saturday like that I was chatting with one of my friend on whatsapp. We talked about so many things, how stressful school life is. (Before the chat, I already googled about OAU's hostels, OAU's famous places etc.) I don't know who send me talk, that's how I just said "and this stupid moremi hostel is boring, can't wait for weekend". Babe just text me the cool emoji and Fiam! she went offline. (PS that was on wednesday). On saturday she called me asking for my room number and what block I stay. Oluwa o!! See ehn that moment my heart stopped beating, my head begin to swell. What will I tell her? That I lied? Mbanu! I immediately go through my saved pages, then I saw what I was looking for. "Block H room 206" was all I said. Babe said okay o and cut the call. I was chilling in my father's house that evening when the babe called again. " What name do you bear on campus? Bcos iam in your room now and your roommates don't know anybody by soso name. You said you wanted to hangout and I am here." Yeba! See casting... Anyways I summoned courage and I told her I am presently not around. She was like babe nawa for you o, you couldn't even say you will be away. Why did you even bother to give me your address sef.. Blablabla. She was sha ranting. Then she cuts the call on me...A year and some months later I got admission into that same school. Everything was going well, until my matriculation day. See me jumping, laughing and enjoying myself. Well the celebration was cut short. I turned to answer a call, lo and behold that 'Wintch" of a girl was there. Turns out it was also her younger sis matriculation day.She: "Babe what are you doing in a matric gown?"Me: "well,,"

Whatever I said is not something for the public. I sha learnt my lesson that day.Forgive the epistle mbok..

Mine was long ago when I was about 11 or 12, I was told never to eat in peoples house which I always adhere to except that particular night when my friend cajoled me to eat dere EBA and ewedu with stew..d stew was peppery fa. Got home and greeted my mum and automatically, she perceived d stew. Did u eat outside Yemi? No Ma, I didn't. She looked at my mouth closely with light and asked why my mouth they smell pepper and even there's pepper on my lips..then I said, Erm erm..mustapha and Ahmed were eating EBA and stew and they started fighting, so they mistakenly spilled there stew and it went into my mouth and stained my lips...and the beating started and ended with dirty slaps.

Mmmhhhh I once had to stage a big lie to rid myself of a set of friends who were 'offloaders'.You see, when I was younger, I had a big problem with speaking my mind and avoided confrontations at all cost. I was that 'miss Nice' that people frequently took advantage of. So just after my Youth service, I started a trading biz- selling fashion items from Europe and Dubai. To save cost I moved into an apartment so I could use my sitting room as my showroom and d rooms as living quarters. Now, friends will drop in from out of town with plans to stay for a few days but will end up staying for months. They will buy my goods on credit, yet will go shopping at boutiques where they pay cash. I was hurt but even when I remind them of their gbese, they will send me on a guilt trip with their sob stories. I be miss nice naa! Na so these people turn my house to drop off and pick up points for men. See me wey dey try live decent life make I for get respect among my neighbours as a single girl. The painful part was, they never contributed to feeding or other bills. The ones wey been even come Lagos to job hunt, kuku relax as them see comfortable house with free food and cable to watch big brother 24/7. One day I look myself look my house, Shuoo! Na so e go be? My small small profit don finish for feeding the grown ass women. Na hin my brain enter gear 4. One night, I woke up at mid night, casting and binding. Crying and praying in a very loud voice. Some of them fear wake up come dey knock for my room door(cos dem never see me pray mid night prayer before). I ignored them for another 30 mins before opening the door. When they entered the room, they started asking Wetin happen? You dream bad dream? I cried some more before I started talking(amidst sobs)I told them my mum called me earlier in the evening, that her pastor told her that I should pray against police trouble. That he had a strong revelation that somebody died in my house and I was arrested. All of them started their own casting and binding plus plenty God forbid!My people, as day break, the first one come tell me say she wan reach somewhere say she dey come. Na so I see her carry her load comot from my house. E no tey 2 others say dem dey go Abuja for interview, I wished them well as they left(hahahahaha) I dey my room when I hear the last 2 dey talk in low tunes say where dem wan go now? Make the prophecy no come manifest for their body o! One suggest say make them go her boyfriend place, na so the 2 of them stylishly comot too. I laugh till I piss for body! Till I move out of that apartment none of those my friends ever branch my house again. So that was my biggest lie ever. It gave me back my peace.

Biggest lie was telling my boss i was getting honored in university and had to give a lecture at the departments annual conference so that he could give me 3 days off during the week so I could go and spend time in Abuja with my EX.

The biggest lie I ever told was when I lied about my pregnancy. At the time I was 21 years old and in university, I came to visit my senior sister during break. She noticed how my stomach was swollen, I kept telling her I developed fibroid and that it is growing. Meanwhile I was almost 6 and a half months preggy. My sister was totally uncomfortable because I came from a strict and religious family. She was a little suspicious but I kept insisting it was fabric. Then my sister told me we have to go to the hospital to have it checked out. Damn I was scared silly, we went and the doctor took me in to a room privately, of course she new I was pregnant, she even said I was already 7 months. I begged her not to tell my sister and to go along with me. She said because of patient/ doctor confidentiality, she agreed. My sister found out a month later when I gave birth prematurely from all the stress.Till this day I feel guilty and remorseful, my family didn't get angry but we're there for me.

I lie to my boss. It was important to blow that lie. My boss sleep with all the female at work. Is as if is a ritual. Anything in skirt he wants to fuck. When he attempted to sleep with me I lied to him. I told him from the part of Nigeria i am coming from,is a forbidden for a betrothed woman to sleep with any man who is not her husband. That he might end up not being able to pull out. That until my husband is called to separate us, he will be stuck to me n the disgrace is epic. This man ran as fast as his leg could carry him. Now I work without sexual harassment

I lie to my boss. It was important to blow that lie. My boss sleep with all the female at work. Is as if is a ritual. Anything in skirt he wants to fuck. When he attempted to sleep with me I lied to him. I told him from the part of Nigeria i am coming from,is a forbidden for a betrothed woman to sleep with any man who is not her husband. That he might end up not being able to pull out. That until my husband is called to separate us, he will be stuck to me n the disgrace is epic. This man ran as fast as his leg could carry him. Now I work without sexual harassment

Nkechi's room was beside mine in our compound. We never really spoke just greeting. She was double-dating. I knew each time they were around because she does name calling in a loud voice when they're doing the do. How she doesn't mix names up, I don't know. Jide visits her only weekends and she shows him more love and attention. One Saturday after laundry I got to the cloth line, she came after but started dragging space with me, we almost fought but I let it slide. In the evening, I was in my room watching tv when I heard a loud bang at the door, on getting there I was surprised to see Nkechi at my door sweating profusely. I asked her in, she was reluctant as she'd never stepped foot in my room. I knew there was trouble in paradise! Jide was in her room and she'd sighted Chidi at the b/stop heading to our house (No communication as he'd lost his phone) Gbege! She begged me to help her. I reluctantly agreed. He got to our house few minutes after I stepped out, I had to lie through my teeth that Nkechi wasn't home as she'd been hospitalized due to malaria and it was an emergency. I told him he couldn't visit her as her parent's were with her and they won't allow him see her. He looked worried and sad, I pitied him but couldn't tell him the truth, he gave me #2,000 to give her and sent his regards. She was in my room when I got back I was gisting her how it went when we heard a loud commotion outside. Chidi was in Nkechi's room with Jide, they were both arguing at the top of their voices. Choi! our landlord had burst the bubble. The fight that night was fierce, people gathered from far and near they reigned abuses on myself and Nkechi calling us all sorts of names; birds of the same feather, ashewo.. Epic disgrace! the shame that day was unbearable, had to move out even before my rent was due

Got an impromptu call for an interview in less than 24 hrs. The problem is I work and live in another state. But I needed to leave my slave trade that pays reasonably okay with alot of mental torture.What shall I doooo😂😂😂😂I called my sis who's an expert in such but she was not available so I planned my lies well.Started shaking uncontrollably and scared 😁😁😁My in laws told me to travel down asap. Everyone was scared oya call your husband na....... I just spoke with him I told them. But it's rather late to travel today I told them. No! You have to go see what's up 😚😚😚😚as a newly married iyawo.Me: thank you sir and ma. Rushed home, packed my suit..... 🚃🚃🚃. Did my interview and got the job.Back at work Hope all is well?Don't mind my in-laws jare. They wanted me to talk sense into hubby's brain to sign some important docs. 😂😂😂I cannot comman kee mysef 😌😌

Got an impromptu call for an interview in less than 24 hrs. The problem is I work and live in another state. But I needed to leave my slave trade that pays reasonably okay with alot of mental torture.What shall I doooo😂😂😂😂I called my sis who's an expert in such but she was not available so I planned my lies well.Started shaking uncontrollably and scared 😁😁😁My in laws told me to travel down asap. Everyone was scared oya call your husband na....... I just spoke with him I told them. But it's rather late to travel today I told them. No! You have to go see what's up 😚😚😚😚as a newly married iyawo.Me: thank you sir and ma. Rushed home, packed my suit..... 🚃🚃🚃. Did my interview and got the job.Back at work Hope all is well?Don't mind my in-laws jare. They wanted me to talk sense into hubby's brain to sign some important docs. 😂😂😂I cannot comman kee mysef 😌😌

The one I remember is when I was dating one broke married man. I was just using his little change to keep body and soul together oh. One day I received a text from a strange no warning me to leave her husband alone and cussing me. I quickly replied her that I don't date people's husbands and the only man I'm dating who is from ABC state and goes by the name DEF is a widower, I lied that he told me his wife died in a ghastly motor accident three years back. Lmao. I did not wait to hear what the outcome of my lies was in their home. I stopped seeing the man immediately. before someone will come and pour acid on my face because of one broke ass man.I know I'm not anonymous and I don't currrrr

Hahahahaha this lie enter well. I like you already. Why will the man be so careless to allow his wife to know he is cheating and also have access to your number on his phone. It is good you absolved your self of any blames, let them go and sort themselves at home. The woman asked for it by texting you.

The greatest lie will be, when my mother in law asked if I was a virgin, that was before marriage o,she asked me if hubby met me a virgin, I had to lie and say yes o,but the painful part is she never asked if hubby was also a virgin, abi men no dey get virgin?

That is exactly where ladies get it wrong. Yours can be proven at the doctor's clinic. Even your mom or mother in law can check it and once the hymen is torn, you are a whore. But the man is not. You can get pregnant and abort and even die in the process, the man won't. Be wise to close your hole.

I failed my jss1 promotion exams, it didn't come as a surprise to me though, in fact all of my friends failed as well. Our saving grace was that in my school then, you don't really fail in your first year, so our report read something like "failed but promoted on trial" so the good news I'll be going to the next class bad news, how do i tell my bad, it was so bad that everything was written with red pen. So i forged a perfect result and no one got to find out. That result woke me up, because i felt really bad after what i did, so i decided to ,n more effort. I d did better in suesequent years and by the time I wrote my junior waec, out of the 13 subject I sat for, I had 9 distinctions. I make efforts no to lie unnecessarily because Lying is so expensive that i can't afford it these days, I'll rather say the truth or not say at all. People lie because they are scared, or feeling insecure, but when you move past those things, then you'll have no need to lie

Mine was in ss2 everyone had a bf and I didn't and wasn't even planning to have 1 but as I wan no fall hands I lied o ...DAT am dating an half cast I told dem he was half Nigerian half Israeli like Ramsey Noah and he buys me cookies and all the ajebutter tinks but all na wash ......one day d asked me we're he schools i mentioned one sch lyk DAT only 4 dem 2 goan do findings and said there was no 1 lyk DAT in DAT school I come shame ...

Good day all.....Omo lie plenty ooo,but will gist you guys about this cause it helped me.There was this small boy staying with us then.On that fateful day I decided to play around by lieing to my boyfriend.I was like baby the small boy you have bin seeing in our house I actually gave birth to him when I was in secondary school. He laughed and said u not serious,I said am dead serious that he can even call my brothers to confirm. Meanwhile I don chat them up to just say yes when asked.Boo just go angry,he was like why would u hide such from me.I said am sorry I dnt know how to tell him that I was ashamed. Shockingly,he said he was actually hiding something from me too,said what?he said he also have two kids (twins)with a girl in the village and he guess this is the best to tell me.My head just do gbagaun!I was like wait o is this a joke? He said No. I was already burning inside.He went inside and brought the girls picture and the village baby mama.opened my mouth it was like a dream.Why keep this big secret from me I asked,he said u did the same too na,u shouldn't be this surprised.Really???.Then I told him have been joking and I left his house.Good day all.....Omo lie plenty ooo,but will gist you guys about this cause it helped me.There was this small boy staying with us then.On that fateful day I decided to play around by lieing to my boyfriend.I was like baby the small boy you have bin seeing in our house I actually gave birth to him when I was in secondary school. He laughed and said u not serious,I said am dead serious that he can even call my brothers to confirm. Meanwhile I don chat them up to just say yes when asked.Boo just go angry,he was like why would u hide such from me.I said am sorry I dnt know how to tell him that I was ashamed. Shockingly,he said he was actually hiding something from me too,said what?he said he also have two kids (twins)with a girl in the village and he guess this is the best to tell me.My head just do gbagaun!I was like wait o is this a joke? He said No. I was already burning inside.He went inside and brought the girls picture and the village baby mama.opened my mouth it was like a dream.Why keep this big secret from me I asked,he said u did the same too na,u shouldn't be this surprised.Really???.Then I told him have been joking and I left his house.

You all need to meet my SIL, she can lie and wake up a whole graveyard! She lies for a living, she lies on SM, to family and to the world! Infact hubby and I stay away from her! She lied recently that her other brother declined living abroad and declined white collar job because he wanted to go into farming meanwhile his been a school drop out and just trying to get a degree! He doesn't even have international passport! And no one asked her, just brags on SM looking like a fool!!! I wonder what she is teaching her teenage kids?????

There's this family friend that lies. Lemme call her Nene. OMG her lies can give heartattack to the extent we doubt every word that comes out of her mouth. After her wedding she came and told mum she was preggos. Months later she called and said she put to birth. Few months later Nene called mum and said she lost the baby a week before he clocked 10months. We all sympathized with her. Only for mum and I to run into her wedding Caterer and the lady shouted that Nene had called her and said the baby died one week after birth. The caterer said what pained her was that she also ran into Nene's makeup artist at an event and that one said Nene had just called her to come make her up for her baby's dedication. That why would Nene lie that her baby was dead at one week to her. Mumsi and I were beyond shocked. Few months later she called mum again that she had taken in. Mum told her to take things easy and all. I was wondering why you would call someone just to tell them you were pregnant. HmmFew months passed and she uploaded a new born baby's picture on facebook that she had put to birth. We all congratulated her and mum promised to go visit her. One day mumsi and my sister set out with baby gift items to go see Nene. Luckily they stumbled upon her at her bustop. My sister said Nene was shocked. Mumsi was like let's go and see the baby. Nene said ah the baby is not at home oh that her sister in law came to take the baby to her house not far from hers. Mumsi said OK let's go to your in-laws house then. Nene said let's go to my house she will soon bring the baby. When they got to her house there was no single trace of a baby and baby items. Not even clothes, wipes, shawl powder Nada. For someone that supposedly put to birth less than two months ago why would your baby be away from you for that long. Mumsi and sis just sat for sometime and no sister-in-law and baby showed up. OK call your in-law lemme speak to her, story Mumsi was so upset and said she won't pick her calls anymore. I didn't know people could lie to that extent oh. Forgive my typos