A "mystery buyer" wants to purchase—in order to "completely remove it from the market"—the infamous tape of Ray J and Kim Kardashian performing sex on one another. Not so fast, says Ray J's lawyer, who will block the sale "until Ray J's rights are protected," which means "we want money too, for the sex tape." Legal expert Selcuk Eralp weighs in on Ray J's Facebook page: "ray nıce job wıth kım kardashıan ıts was amazıng hahah from behınd." [TMZ]

Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong was kicked off a Southwest flight for "wearing his pants too low." (He told the flight attendant, "Don't you have better things to do then worry about that?") "Very sorry for your experience tonight," Southwest Tweeted in response. You know what else should be illegal? Airline food! Blazow! [ABC San Francisco]

Here's a terrific and important exploration of the ways in which the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling and lax enforcement of campaign finance laws allow the rich to wield disproportionate influence on the country's politics and maintain a damaging, unjust economic status quo. Kidding! It's an article called "Pippa Middleton: Did She Get a Parking Ticket?" (SPOILER: Maybe!) [People]

Dedicated fans of the "Skinnygirl" line of "low calorie pre-mixed margarita and sangria cocktails," founded by Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel, will be disappointed to learn that the drinks were yanked from the shelves of Whole Foods after the grocery chain determined that "it contains a preservative that does not meet our quality standards." "I'm not making wheatgrass here," Frankel clarified for people who thought she was making wheatgrass, here. "If I could put an agave plant and some limes on a shelf I would," she continued, before trying to put an agave plant and some limes on a nearby shelf, and, failing, sobbed quietly in a corner. [NYDN]

T.I. was released from jail yesterday and then had to go right back in, apparently because he was picked up by a winged horse instead of a van, as he'd claimed on the form. [TMZ]

Madonna made a movie about Nazi sympathizers Wallis Simpson and Edward VIIIand she thanks Triumph of the Will director Leni Reifenstahland mean fashion designer John Galliano in the credits. Does this mean Madonna is a Nazi? We can never know what is inside another human being's soul! But, yes, she is. [Gossip Cop]