PETA Invents Alternatives For ‘Cruel’ Phrases Like ‘Bring Home The Bacon’

Holy cow. Reminiscent of a recent campaign to replace the spelling for “women” with “womxn,” People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) wants to take over the English language by killing commonly-used phrases that are apparently demeaning to the animal kingdom.

Proving that it would never hurt a fly, PETA has coined a handful of politically-correct, “animal-friendly” idioms to replace “phrases that trivialize animal cruelty.”

You don’t bring home the bacon, it argues. You bring home the bagels. Further, birds shouldn’t be killed with one stone, but fed with one scone.

Check out PETA’s recommended phrases below. There’s really no harm in using them interchangeably, but just as meat-lovers might find it annoying for vegans to shove their beliefs in others’ faces, there shouldn’t be the pressure to go cold turkey on the traditional idioms.