Oh God, What Did I Just Do?

Writing a blog as been the most self-absorbed thing I’ve ever done. When it first started out I had no intentions of sharing it. In fact, if my husband would happen to walk by while I was working on it I would quickly click to something else as if I was afraid of being caught looking at something naughty.

After my weigh in on Christmas Day I had a break down. My husband who had been working over the holidays came home to a teary eyed mess and had no idea what had transpired since he had left for work. He went back to work on New Year’s Eve and my oldest daughter had a sleepover at a friend’s house. That night Penelope decided to go to bed at 6:30 and for the first time in a while I was left alone with nothing to do. I was looking at the photos that I had posted up and decided that drastic times called for drastic measures.

Before I knew what I was doing I was composing the following message…

Hi Friends,

I have to warn you that I’m about to get kind of weird on you. Facebook as we know is kind of a strange thing because with the click of a mouse we can peek into the lives of friends or acquaintances. In the process of sharing tidbits of life people fall into the trap of over sharing. And that is precisely what I’m about to do…

As many of you know I had a baby this past year. After giving birth I suffered from a pretty big dose of postpartum depression. On top of that I suffer from a condition called PCOS which has a bunch of awesome side effects but the best one of all is weight gain. I’ve really struggled this year to get my mind and body together and through all of this I have finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Most of you don’t know this but I went to school to become a writer. One of my dreams is to be able to make a living as a freelance writer but I’ve never known how to get my work out there. I’ve always thought it would be cool to be a blogger but I’m not an expert on anything. While struggling to lose weight it hit me. I should write a weight loss blog. (Just to make things clear this is not a New Year’s resolution thing.) I’ve been working on it since November and I find it entirely inconvenient that I’ve finally pulled it together at this moment in time.

The reason I’m writing you is because I need your support. I want you to read my blog. Some of you are close friends and some of you are acquaintances but you are my preferred audience. If you like it, keep reading. If you find this message really awkward, we’ll pretend like this never happened. Just be warned that I’m letting it all hang out…literally. This is still in the rough stages but I’m hoping with your support I will become successful in more ways than one.

Thanks, Nina

I picked a selection of friends who I thought might go easy on me. My eyes started to well up and before I could chicken out I hit the send button. This was the equivalent of walking into my high school reunion butt naked and saying, “Hey guys! Check this out!”

After I sent it I sat there and cried and thought, “Oh God, what did I just do?” Then the first message popped up and then the next and the support I got was incredible. I stopped crying and started laughing. Before I knew what was happening people I didn’t know were reading it and commenting on it. One of my high school friends, Becca, knows a successful weight loss blogger, Skinny Hollie. Becca had sent her my blog and asked her to mentor me throughout this process. Hollie told me to get a facebook page and a twitter account. Before I knew it, the blog had blown up.

I feel like I’m going through some sort of metamorphosis. It’s terrifying and thrilling and painful all at the same time. It’s officially a turning point in my life. It’s also exhausting. I will be struck by a moment of genius and will want to share it with you guys. Then I have to contend with a teething baby who is underfoot and on some sort of kamikaze mission to fall down the stairs, an emotional preteen and an over worked husband. I’m getting my master’s degree and my classes resume on Monday. I’ve got a ton of laundry to do, not to mention grocery shopping and finding time to workout.

It’s a challenge, so please bare with me as I try to find balance in this whole blogging world, which I find to be surreal and bazaar. I’m warning you, there will be typos, I suck at spelling and I still haven’t figured out how to make my blog look the way I want. I’m just asking you to be patient because I’m just kind of figuring this out as I go.

Nina, you’ve got this girl! You have peeled the layers back to a level of honesty that is truly inspiring. The way you write is a gift and you are as gorgeous as ever. Thank you for sharing your journey – it has only just begun.

Your pictures are gorgeous! I am following a couple of blogs for motivation as I commit to a healthier lifestyle this year. I heard about you from Skinny Hollie – You are hilarious and motivating to me, so don’t stop. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have a baby – I ate myself this way. On my way to fixing years of mistreating my body, and it’s incredibly motivating to have people like you sharing your story so publicly! Cheers!

Nina, we don’t care about typos. We love your honestly and your vulnerability. You are affecting people you have never met. That is incredible. I have always known that you were something special. I am glad other people get to see that now too.

I am totally hooked, I love that it isn’t perfect, that’s the best part and I would have never known you were a rookie at this. remember by shining your light you give others permission to do the same:)…

I found your blog through someone else’s blog (I can’t remember who??) and clicked on it and love it. First, your name is my favorite girl name, but then I had two boys and didn’t get to use it. Second, I live in Colorado too! Third, I too, am on a mission to shape up after my youngest boy was born in August. I’ll be tuning in to watch your progress! 🙂

You know when you were writing this I pictured you to be very large the way you knock yourself down. However in these pics you are very beautiful. You are at war with yourself and not a fashion model. My challenge to you is to find women who have your body style. Then muscle tone the areas that bother you the most and keep eating healthy. Most of all start finding things you love about youself. Your sparkling eyes, your pretty smile, your long hair for every criticsm of yourself put two good things about you. Do you except my challenge? 🙂