Thursday, March 3

Death?

Today's question is a tiny bit morbid, so just bear with me for a minute. Everyone has seen or heard of interesting, strange, boring or even bizarre methods of death, from the Darwin Awards to an old woman quietly passing in her sleep. Of all the methods you've heard of, read about, witnessed, imagined or otherwise been involved with (hopefully not committed...), which method of death would you, personally, prefer to have? Would you rather have your head served to your enemy on a silver platter, or go out in a blaze of gory glory? Would you rather quietly pass in the night, or die in a mindbending set of coincidences that befuddle those mourning you?

I don't know; I just hope it doesn't hurt. I don't want famous last words, so in my sleep would be fine. On the other hand, I hope it's not for a good long time.

But just in case...no long obituary saying what I belonged to and which church callings I held. I want it to say "She loved us." That's it. But then Kristel said I've got to list kids' names so people know who I am. So if whoever is left behind lists kids I want the spouses listed without parentheses. As in, John and Jenny Jones, not John (Jenny) Jones which I think looks stupid but is traditional.

Who, you may wonder, are John and Jenny Jones? Well, that's what I wonder about half the obituaries I read anyway.

I'm more concerned about the funeral than the way I die. Plain coffin, thank you; money is for the living not the dead. Buy it at Sam's Club or Costco. (you really can!) Tulips not daisies. A wild cemetery not an overly manicured plot. There, I'm happy now.

And whatever you do don't take me to Peel Mortuary or I'll come back and haunt you!