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Monday, February 10, 2014

99 Problems: The Life of a Chronic Overthinker

It starts innocently enough. Maybe a friend doesn't respond to something. And it begins with an innocent wondering thought. "I wonder why they didn't answer that."

But then, the thoughts keep going.

"I wonder if I did something to make them upset. I bet it was that one thing I said yesterday. They're mad about that. Well, I can't believe they're mad about that, it was an innocent comment and I didn't mean anything by it! They're totally not being fair. They should know me better than that."

To make matters worse, I am a chronic conversation imagine-er. My kids are constantly telling me to "stop thinking" because I am having actual complete conversations in my head, with the facial expressions to go with them.

"Why are you mad about what I said the other day?" The imaginary conversation ensues."That hurt my feelings and I can't believe you would be so insensitive."
"I wasn't being insensitive! That wasn't the way that I meant it at all...""You're such a jerk... I don't think I even want to be friends with you at all anymore."

And then I start to cry. Yes. Actual. Crying. Because I am an insane person. In the space of five minutes, I have somehow gotten from "I wonder why they didn't respond" to "They hate me and never want to speak to me again." Please note that, while this is all going in my head, the other person has no idea that I'm even bothered by anything, and certainly has no idea that I'm sitting on my bathroom floor, crying over the demise of our friendship.

When really the answer to "I wonder why they didn't respond" was "What? My phone died and I didn't even know you said anything. I'm sorry!"