"This is some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen."- Anonymous FB friend

"It was better than I expected I guess"- Anonymous FB friend

"Lol I’m curious to hear what you think of this season"- Anonymous FB friend

EPISODE 1

The opening of this episode, with the election getting called for Trump, gave me, like, small scale PTSD.

The conversation about 'tell your friends why their rights are going to be taken away because your ass was too busy on Etsy to go vote' was a real conversation I heard too. This episode basically nailed that aspect of election night.

Peter Evans is every awful hyper-Trump fan I've ever talked to on the internet.

This must be what it was like for the right when Obama won in 2008, except I don't think any of them were worried he was going to accidentally nuke us.

Is this like a movie within a movie type thing? The camera work makes it seem like maybe it is...

Yeah OK it was a comic book, makes sense.

If his mom is dead terrified of clowns, where did her kid get a clown comic book? Did his other mom buy him the comic book? Because that shit's pretty mean if you know someone else is terrified of something.

HAHAHA his name is Kai of course it is

In case you weren't clear Kai is the villain, he has a man bun.

"Fear is currency" is probably one of the truest things about modern America, shiiiiiiit.

Kai is a crackpot nutball, and I've heard his exact speech about the strong leading the weak from serious actual people.

We're literally talking about 4chan and being triggered. I'm getting the vibe of where this season is going.

YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT, CORAL IS KINDA GROSS UP CLOSE, GOOD FOR YOU

Hahaha, she refers to President Obama on a first-name basis, which is so perfect.

"I've cut out social media and deleted my Twitter. I don't need to know every bad thing that happens in the world." And now Crossfit. LOL

The slow, dramatic reveal of a dude putting on a MAGA hat is the tiny betrayal that every liberal has felt at least once in the last year.

It occurs to me that if I keep shitting on these episodes via live blog, I'll probably die three episodes in. So maybe I'll just shit on this one.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: CLOWN SODOMY

Seriously, if you literally write down 'clown sodomy' you realize how dumb this shit is.

OK is this really happening because what grocery store allows clown invasions.

Her in the parking lot is like:

So it's fake, OK, cool. Hopefully this season isn't going to do an 'it's all real and they're messing with her to prove that fear works' or something deal. That'd be kinda lame.

Kai is a racist asshole to get beaten up so he can claim he's the victim. America 2017, folks.

"It's called the Dark Web." YOU'RE NOT ON THE DARK WEB JUST STOP.

This season is obsessed with clowns performing sexual acts. So, like, politics?

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: CLOWN-BASED MELTDOWNS

OK so the clowns in the store WERE real and everyone who voted for Trump is untrustworthy and evil, GOT IT.

So the clown people are home invasion murderers and they're inoculating the kid with their ideas or something? Is this a metaphor? I mean, it's obviously Kai attempting to stir up some shit, but seriously, what?

Kai and the Clown Posse like to murder people who've embarrassed them, and now they're gaslighting the rest of us. I mean, is this a metaphor? I think it's a metaphor.