I'm Coming To Get You! Says Mystery Blonde

A while back some guy in Japan wrote a story about a man who was picked at random to be famous for absolutely no reason. Just to be famous for existing on earth.

And guess what happened to him? He was featured on bill boards, televison and radio and the internet and absolutely everywhere. He had no privacy at all and was stalked day and night by silly papparazzos with nothing better to do than stalk people all the day and all the night and all into the next life. And before he knew it he had a fan club and people used to follow him along the street and yell stuff to him and try and be his best friend and number one darlinglys of all time and they used to ask him for money and ask him to go out for dinner.

It all stopped after the guy had got a sex transformation or gender reassignment and our guy/girl thought that he was safe and sound and secure and so very private that not even a mouse knew who he was. All perfect, right? Wrong!

Because yesterday our girl/guy was astonished to find out that she was famous all over again and for what? What had she done to deserve this intrusive nonsense? Imagine her horror when she read on the Spoof that a bunch of mad people were not only stalking her but writing about her as well. Is it really earth shattering news that she had taken a bus or had been seen around London or had eaten dinner and the answer had to be yes for some people in the spoofing universe.

Our mystery girl/guy is wondering what to do and is already considering taking out a super injunction to stop people like Lynton, Pixit and Skoob from writing about her ever again. And so she will just have to be a symbol or a silhouette from here on in and just hope for the best that some Parliamentary MP will not overturn her super injunction by naming her in the British Parliament.

It was far better being a bloke and then she remembered what it was like before-stalked by idiots here, there and everywhere. It was actually far safer for her to become a fish and then she remembered what had happened so that Shindo guy who was now at the bottom of the Marianas waiting for his 2014 court case.

So she bought a gun and began her own manhunt for the guys who keep writing about her.

Make Alex99's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion.
The motion was passed by 19 votes to...

In the global War Against Terrorism, there are one group of combatants that refuse to give in to the Islamic Extremists who threaten to destroy their way of life: The British Holiday Maker.
With the latest tragedy in Tunisia, where 18 British sun...

Due to the current debacle at Calais, France wherein thousands of deadbeats are attempting to get to the UK in order to reach Sports Direct outlets to replenish their trainers and sportswear, lacklustre Prime Minister, Do-nothing-Dave has had to hast...

Police from several forces have joined together to urge people to be on the lookout for a gang of crooks after a spate of robberies, thefts and other crimes which have left thousands of people penniless and terrorized many others.
Throughout the c...

The BBC have announced their plans for a brand new taxpayer-funded radio station to hit the British airwaves.
The station, BBC Radio 0, will broadcast absolutely nothing but dead air 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
And the station's manager, Mar...

A 26 year old man who wishes to become Supreme Overlord of the universe has been stopped from building a Supreme Command Centre on his property in Northamptonshire because his garden now falls outside the village boundary.
Dark Lord Simon Smith, a...

Employers are free to take - and keep - any item from workers' lunchboxes if they think they are unhealthy or inappropriate, the government has said.
Workers were outraged last month when it emerged their scotch eggs and a Peperami were confiscate...

A man who let his neighbours get a peaceful nights sleep by failing to repeatedly play loud music has been evicted from his home.
South Tyneside Council's Anti-Social Behaviour Unit received complaints over five years regarding the behaviour of Gr...