Lawmaker Introduces ‘Suck It Up, Buttercup’ Bill to Combat…

In what may be the most aptly named piece of legislation ever introduced, an Iowa lawmaker is proposing the “suck it up, buttercup bill,” an attempt to prevent universities from using taxpayer dollars on ‘grief counseling’ and ‘cry rooms’ for students trying to cope with sadness over the election results.

The bill would cut funding to any university which provides grief counseling above and beyond what is already offered for truly emotional situations.

We suspect grief counseling for the university officials will be needed if this goes through.

The bill would target state universities that use taxpayer dollars for additional grief counseling or other things – like “cry rooms” – to help students cope with election-related sadness.

“I’ve seen four or five schools in other states that are establishing ‘cry zones’ where they’re staffed by state grief counselors and kids can come cry out their sensitivity to the election results,” Kaufmann told the Des Moines Register. “I find this whole hysteria to be incredibly annoying. People have the right to be hysterical … on their own time.”

Aside from dissuading universities from pampering their snowflake students, the legislation would also increase criminal penalties for protesters who shut down highways.

“That’s incredibly dangerous,” Kaufmann explained. “What if someone had been trying to go to the hospital or was in an emergency and you had these spoiled brats blocking interstate 80?”

Recent reports have surfaced indicating that anti-Trump protesters blocked a road in which an ambulance transporting the father of a 4-year-old had been travelling, leading to grave results.

We’re guessing that liberals crying over the election results will be in even more tears when they learn a lawmaker is trying to make them ‘suck it up.’