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Five ways to get warm after a surf

As you might have noticed, it’s winter. Which means stonking waves, empty line ups and dawnies at midday.

It also means bitter winds, red noses and your fingers being so frozen you can’t do up your flies after you get changed, leading to an awkward moment when you ask a stranger for help.

But it is possible to get the best of both worlds in these cold months. There’s nothing like the feeling of warming up after an epic glassy winter session. But what’s the best way? Here are our top five in no particular order.

I’m sure you have some favourite ways to get warm too, so chuck them in the comments below.

A nice mug of hot chocolate

This is one of those moments when having a thermos of hot chocolate in the car park makes you a gangster. As Al Pacino said, first you get the thermos, then you get the cocoa, then you get the women.

On the downside it requires a lot of forward planning. And if you’re someone who counts putting on trousers the right way round as a logistical victory, you’re probably not cut out for making hot chocolate before heading to the beach.

Fire it up

Winter has this annoying habit of taking the sun away just as the good waves start rolling in. And night surfing, while badass, is difficult and a bit pointless.

But this does present a nice opportunity to build a fire on the beach and stick your hands pretty much right in there.

Hell, bring some marshmallows and a ukulele and turn it into a picture-perfect after-surf party. There’s nothing wrong with being a stereotype if it comes with roasted marshmallows.

Stay in your wetsuit

This can work if you plan it right. What you want is a short walk back to the car, a not too long drive home and some good heaters.

If you have all these you can actually have a very comfortable drive home in your wetsuit and then the glorious feeling of peeling it off in the shower.

Pro tip: Stopping on the way home to do some shopping can make you look a bit silly. But not as much as getting to the checkout and realising your wallet isn’t inside your wetsuit.

Pub?

Contrary to popular belief, alcohol doesn’t make you warmer. It actually inhibits the blood flow to something or other and nobody cares. A nice pint in the local pub is the most comfortable way to thaw out those fingertips.

So grab a big handled glass of ale, throw some coins in the jukebox and regale your fellow patrons with tales of monster waves.

Sex

Don’t lie. You were thinking it.

If you’re lucky enough to have a partner who shares your love for paddling around in the freezing ocean for hours on end, post surf sex is without doubt the best way to get warm. And it ticks off two of your three daily S's; Surf, Sex, Sandwich.

It might feel a bit like dogging. And it is. But everyone else in the car park will be so focussed on getting changed you could be standing on your bonnet dressed as Big Bird in drag and nobody would care. Plus by the time you’ve blasted the heaters and huffed and puffed your way out of your wetsuits the car will be so fogged up you’ll have all the privacy you need.

Admittedly it can take a while to warm up to the, shall we say, operational temperature. But it’s more fun than doing star jumps.

Comments

Admit it. We're a weird bunch.
Here are six of the creatures you'll find yourself mingling with in the line up.
(Illustrations by Andi Pratt. Check out more of his crazy work here and on Instagram.)
And all together:
So which one are you? Or are you a different beast entirely?
Let us know in the comments below.
...

Surfers are sweet. Sometimes salty, but mostly sweet. And to prove it here are some surfing-themed Valentine's cards.
You can buy them from our Zazzle shop.
Or if you're skint, just copy and paste one of the images below onto your Valentine's Facebook page. If that doesn't do the trick, they clearly have no feelings.
Click on any image to view it in the shop.
...