Reece Gardner column: Be a great example even when no one is looking

By Reece Gardner / Columnist

Published: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 at 08:59 PM.

I think most of us recognize how important it is for us to set a good example for others, especially the young.

Among my guests on my television show last week was Gary Dean, who has — as you know — served as a news anchor over the years for practically all the TV stations in Eastern North Carolina; he is now heading up the news department for Tutt Media Group in this area.

In his professional life, he has accomplished a lot and done a lot of things for which he can be proud. Yet, he made it clear during our conversation that the thing he is most proud of is his effort to help others, especially the young, to steer their lives in the right direction.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to hear hundreds of presentations and many of them bear out the importance of setting a good example for others.

In a class in Roanoke Rapids in 1988, Joe Evans began his remarks by saying, “If I live to a hundred years or more, I know I will never, ever meet anyone with the courage of my little 10-year-old son.”

Joe then told how his son had suffered from an incurable illness and how, during his last days on this earth, the pain he bore was almost unbearable; the medication Joe’s son was receiving to ease the pain was having little or no effect at all.

But, said Joe, “My little boy never complained. In fact, he asked his mother and me to try not to cry because it would further upset his little 6-year-old sister, who was already grieving over the certainty of losing her big brother.”

I think most of us recognize how important it is for us to set a good example for others, especially the young.

Among my guests on my television show last week was Gary Dean, who has — as you know — served as a news anchor over the years for practically all the TV stations in Eastern North Carolina; he is now heading up the news department for Tutt Media Group in this area.

In his professional life, he has accomplished a lot and done a lot of things for which he can be proud. Yet, he made it clear during our conversation that the thing he is most proud of is his effort to help others, especially the young, to steer their lives in the right direction.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to hear hundreds of presentations and many of them bear out the importance of setting a good example for others.

In a class in Roanoke Rapids in 1988, Joe Evans began his remarks by saying, “If I live to a hundred years or more, I know I will never, ever meet anyone with the courage of my little 10-year-old son.”

Joe then told how his son had suffered from an incurable illness and how, during his last days on this earth, the pain he bore was almost unbearable; the medication Joe’s son was receiving to ease the pain was having little or no effect at all.

But, said Joe, “My little boy never complained. In fact, he asked his mother and me to try not to cry because it would further upset his little 6-year-old sister, who was already grieving over the certainty of losing her big brother.”

Then, with tears streaming down his face, Joe told about the night his son died.

He said it was 3 o’clock in the morning and he and his wife were seated on a couch in the corner of their son’s hospital room when they heard him call out, “Mommy, Daddy!”

Joe said they immediately rushed to his bedside as he held out his frail hands.

The child said, just before he died, “Mommy and Daddy, thank you for loving me and try not to cry. We’ll meet again in heaven.”

As I listened to that presentation, I couldn’t help but think about the obvious wonderful example of living those parents had instilled in their son to have him display such courage and compassion in his final days on earth.

I was reminded of the note a young man wrote to his mother, recalling his childhood days. His note read:

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator door and I wanted to paint another.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat and I knew it was good to be kind to animals.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake just for me and I knew that little things are special things.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer and I knew there was a God I could always talk to.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me good night, and I felt loved.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything I could be.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked and I wanted to say, ‘Thank you’ for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.”

It is so important that all of us remember it is the example that teaches and that we should try to be the best we can be, even when we think no one is looking.

Reece Gardner is the host of “The Reece Gardner Hour,” which airs on TACC-9 on Mondays at 9 p.m., Tuesdays at 8 p.m., Thursdays at 11 p.m., Sundays at 10:30 p.m. and on-demand anytime at TACC9.com. You can reach Reece at rbgej@aol.com.