The “Bachelor” Finale Recap Including an Exclusive Look at 9 Guys on Andi’s Season

Apparently I’m one of the reasons that you know you’ve been watching the “Bachelor” too long. Well, at least according to MSN.com’s recent list I am. Man, I feel honored. To win such a prestigious honor, I’d like to thank the Academy, my parents who raised such a pompous, self serving, sarcastic ass, and gotta give a shout out to Olivia and Nicholas my niece and nephew just because. I mean, how can I accept this award without acknowledging them, right? Even though they like calling me “Reality Steve” every once in a while, they don’t have the slightest clue what it is. Nor should they. Maybe I’ll ask them next month when I’m there and see what it is they actually think I do. Hilarity could ensue. I’m warning you now.

The Daily Dot ran a piece today regarding this site and spoilers. They wrote in in the past tense because there was a chance it was going to run before last night’s episode. It didn’t, which is why it doesn’t talk about the ending. Enjoy.

A couple things to get to before we get started on last night’s whatever you want to call it. Congratulations to Molly Mesnick on her full time job with KIIS FM in Seattle that starts next week as she’ll be joining the morning radio team from 6-10am PST. You could tell by their podcasts that Molly was entertaining on the air, and as much as they were having her fill in on that show, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Sweet. Molly, you’ve got my number. I’ll come on anytime as a guest. Especially since there’s a little history between that morning show, me, and Jason back when things were, ummm, tense to say the least.

I’m sure a lot of you were asking why they brought back a lot of former cast members and none of them got to talk. Chelsie, Kat, Michael, Arie, Brooks, Sarah, etc. I have no idea what the point of having that many there would be for if you’re not gonna give each of them at least some airtime. But whatever. I kinda get it. It’s a live show and you have no idea how long people are gonna talk so maybe they did have plans for everyone and time ran short. It happens. One thing I can tell you about Kat from following Twitter is that she will be a guest judge next week in the 3rd Annual Mr. Marina Contest in San Francisco. Essentially a male beauty pageant and you can still buy tickets here. I told you all about the first ever male beauty contest at my high school back in 1993 that I won, right? Yeah. Just checking. Baller.

This has nothing to do with the “Bachelor” but you know Zach Galifianakis’s “Between Two Ferns” show is one of my favorite bits online. If you haven’t seen them, go catch up. Genius. Anyway, I can’t believe he got Barack Obama to do this, but he did. And regardless of your political views, this is hilarious. Check it out:

69 Comments

@caffeinequeen, I was totally being sarcastic (in reference to oddball comments above mine) when I mentioned North Korea, etc. I totally get Between Two Ferns. Have seen many of them. I apologize if you didn’t catch the tone of sarcasm. The internet definitely needs a sarcasm font for this reason!

@jacey, sorry, maybe I didn’t communicate that too well. I really wasn’t trying to say the internet necessarily invented the phrase. I honestly don’t know who did or when, but I am rather certain it was not Dianne. 😉

Also, jacey, why did the People cover change your impression of Nikki? I thought the People cover showed her in the exact same light (looking to Juan Pablo both literally & figuratively). You didn’t see it that way?

hh81

March 12, 2014 at 1:42 PM

Thanks Steve, I stumbled across your site quite early in the season so was very happy knowing the spoilers. Especially as JP was by far the worst Bachelor ever. I can’t believe he was picked as a lead, his English is terrible. He never talks about anything other then himself, Camilla, football and Venezuela.

I’m a big Bachelor fan, I found a site were I can watch episode going back to season 15 can anyone recommend any where it can watch episodes going back further? I live in the UK, so need a site which allows access to all countries.

Really looking forward to Andi’s season, Josh Murray sounds great, I agree with Steve he’s got the next Bachelor written all over him, if he doesn’t get snapped up that is. Reading a brief description of all the guys it seems Andi’s minimum requirements are that they have graduated. Makes me think that they knew at the beginning that Andi was going to be bachelorette.

I really disliked Clare during whole of the season but after the final I feel for her, it seems she genuinely thought JP was into and had feeling for her.

angelfish

March 12, 2014 at 1:47 PM

In both live TV and radio, the biggest mortal sin is to have DEAD AIR. Chris Harrison was desperately trying to find something, anything to talk about with JP. Nikki was obviously not going to say anything to either help or hurt the situation.

Chris was not harassing JP, he was being a professional and doing his JOB. Something obviously JP has no concept of. Chris Harrison gets paid big $$$ to do what he does, and for me, that was the perfect example of him trying to salvage what little he could despite JP’s petulant and bitter childishness.

Chris was doing his job. JP doesn’t even have a real one of those.

jacey

March 12, 2014 at 2:02 PM

Best break down of the Bach breakdown I’ve seen thus far — in case you haven’t seen it.

@Liz123 –
Was less how they looked on the People cover, but that they were on it. I’m thinking the People exclusive yielded at least $50K ea. It’s all about the Benjamins. I saw that and things started to make sense again.

Nikki received the “bitch” edit this season — deserving or not. Unfortunately, it hasn’t won her any brownie points with respect to public opinion. Playing demure tones that negative perception down. There’s clearly a PR person working with them. Smart move. ABC shouldn’t be the only ones making bank off their story. They should profit, too.

bambi404

March 12, 2014 at 3:04 PM

So excuse me in advance if this is not PC but being that Andi is Jewish, why are there no Jewish guys in this original line-up? I know we are only looking at 9 of the guys right now but wouldn’t the producers want to include just a few Jewish guys? I think it may be important to Andi because at one point she said to Juan Pablo ” you don’t even know what religion I practice” so she does think about that, even if only a little bit.

rosespourmoi

March 12, 2014 at 4:36 PM

Juan Pablo played it wrong at every turn — during the show and then at the ATFR. He had plenty of time between the two to turn his image around after he was seeing that show producers decided to do something they’d never done: Turn on the lead. And now he’s really screwed himself. He didn’t have to propose or even say he loved her. All he needed to do was say, “I’m sorry.” The most interesting comment was the exchange when Catherine said, “You don’t slap the hand that fed you.” Now this comment had even greater meaning that what appeared on the surface. Juan won’t get any of the perks that the show could bring (which is what he wanted in the first place) and will have to get a real job. Sniff, sniff.

The reason Juan wasn’t participating was because he was angry. And like a child, he wouldn’t communicate. Those with narcissistic personality disorders deal with conflict like children do because they’ve never evolved emotionally beyond that point. Even his mother and cousin told both women he couldn’t handle conflict like an adult in so many words–so his culture ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

It was obvious in his body language and his dialogue with Chris Harrison, constantly claiming he was being interrupted…. He was angry. He blamed the show for screwing him out of DWTS, but he did that to himself very early on. And now he decided to take control (in his mind). But he just burned all the bridges. Please don’t say “He didn’t want to drink the Kool-Aid so props to him.” You are giving him way to much credit.

rosespourmoi

March 12, 2014 at 4:38 PM

*too much credit, I meant.

flightgirl

March 12, 2014 at 5:21 PM

@angelfish
There was a room full of people for Chris to talk to instead of trying to force JP to sputter out an I love you when he didn’t want to. Move the hell on Chris. It was redundant and boring. Ask Nikki a question instead.

As someone mentioned earlier, Desi and Chris were there and also on the same season with JP. I would have liked to have heard from them.

angelfish

March 12, 2014 at 5:45 PM

Flightgirl….I agree Chris could have asked a lot of other people all kinds of irrelevant stuff. But that’s not the purpose of ATFR.

And yes, Chris Sigfried actually LIVED with JP for about 7 weeks on the Dez season. If anybody has any decent input on the REAL JP, it’s him & the other guys from the season.

But I imagine they all have to be REALLY careful what they say, because some want to be on Bachelor Pad, and don’t want to burn any bridges with ABC (Unlike Juan Pesto), and ABC is paying for Dez & Chris’s presumably VERY expensive wedding.
No biting hands for those folks!

duckquack

March 12, 2014 at 6:20 PM

liz123……i know what “te adoro” means…..nowhere did i say it means I love You….
“Amor” is said on his twitter when is giving the link for the youtube song video
tube video before it starts it says “Mi carita” which can be my sweetheart, or my dearest….both ways have been said by people.

what happens to their relationship from now on is what will show their strength, if they survive it will be great, if they don’t it will be no different than many others, and not because he refused to say ” I love you” on TV…..

duckquack

March 12, 2014 at 6:29 PM

Chris Sigfried did not live with Juan for 7 weeks…..dude has a wedding coming whose ass he gonna kiss Juan or Fleiss?

duckquack

March 12, 2014 at 6:38 PM

Juan’s family’s home date was edited heavily, once Pablo refused to co-operate….
Pablo was ousted from Sean’s wedding…Pablo was going to DWTS and they said he was too risky..
then they put cash on the table on AFTFRC and insult him as if to buy his love….he refused it all, he was pissed they manipulated him and turned it around when they needed him the most.
Catherine shows her coochie to earn the dollars they are
producers just adore her, meanwhile Sean is a pawn and knows not half the stuff she does…there is a reason her new sister in law treats her indifferently.
once you veer off their program you are hated, Travis, Brad, and all those who did not follow the puppet
Once the show is done he doesn’t owe them anything.
Brad got paid half a million $$ for his second gig, and did no promotion.

angelfish

March 12, 2014 at 7:04 PM

Oh excuse me, duckquack….JP was eliminated at the end of week 6…My mistake. I’m sure that makes a HUGE difference.

amyrn22

March 12, 2014 at 7:28 PM

@rosespourmoi I totally agree with you. Great point of view. He was acting like a immature child and I think its all bc of DWTS kicking him out. He didn’t really care at all about finding a wife obvi, so the show edit wasn’t what bothered him. Also, he didn’t care that everyone was mad at him for his gay remarks. All he did was defend himself. It was that DWTS offer that really made him mad.

duckquack

March 12, 2014 at 8:35 PM

angelfish 6 weeks or 7 weeks really makes no difference, and JP never hung out with Chris…they were not bunk-mates…
either or, you don’t kick a brother when he is pummeled from all sides, just so you can be a puppet….you get up like a man and say you know what, not sure i could carry the show with 27 pms beyotches.

jacey

March 13, 2014 at 6:37 AM

Juan Pablo’s motivations for flipping the script aren’t central to the outcome. What’s significant is that he DID. I don’t see how highlighting this fact gives him any kind of credit. ‘It is what it is.’ The question is, will it having any lasting effects. Imo, it’s completely ludicrous that there’s this expectation to declare love and/or propose; or otherwise be threatened with a bad edit, abandoned, etc. Juan Pablo being a first class a$$ doesn’t excuse ABC’s culpability in what’s turned out to be a very negative (albeit successful) season of The Bachelor for all.

I personally don’t subscribe to all the boxed fairy tale crap. Things going awry or contrary to ‘tradition’ grab my focus and time. Would love to see the network stop blowing smoke up our collective arses, and trust us to handle some non-whitewashed (and I mean that literally and figuratively) REALITY TV. I think we all just proved (with the most recent melee) we can handle it.

One of the most popular shows on the network is a FAIRY TALE in which conflict is its lifeblood. How awesome (and more realistic) would it be to have (for example) the lead standing at the alter and have the wrong one or nobody show up? Instead we see them (with voiceover) explaining their decision to leave as they pack their bags and head for the airport.

Love him; hate him, or something in between. Intentional or not; Juan Pablo & Co brought us, hands down (imo) the BEST season of the franchise EVER!!!

liz123

March 13, 2014 at 9:37 AM

I agree 100% with you, jacey. It was a great season. Don’t we all watch mostly for the drama anyway? A contender for the best finale ever in terms of twists. I don’t always have to see a “happily ever after” to enjoy the show. It’s more like *real* reality anyway when it doesn’t work out as planned– such is life.

duckquack, I’m not really sure what you’re getting at in general. That JP “won” over ABC & he does in fact love Nikki?? I just disagree. He wanted a measure of fame imo & he failed at that b/c he couldn’t hide what a jerk he is. As far as Nikki, I think (for now at least) he just has the major hots for her. I’m very interested to know what you mean when you say that Catherine has shown her “coochie”. Explain please? And what exactly is “half the stuff she does” that Sean doesn’t know about (but you apparently do)?

Btw, I’m totally stunned that the turn of events is such that I find myself defending ABC! What’s happening to me? 😉

jacey

March 13, 2014 at 10:14 AM

Check out this video dedication from Juan Pablo to Carla Rodriques circa 2009. A point of interest @ 3:09. It appears Camilla doesn’t carry her dad’s name. Not sure if that’s a culture thing, or what.

And yes, @Liz123… Sharleen piqued my interest, and the frequent infusions of drama kept me tuned in. Say what you will about JP, the only thing predictable about that cat was his unpredictability. He kept reaching new lows (with the aide of one big co-conspirator), and I luv that about him — along with his nonconformity to the “process.” Btw… How big a hypocrite is ABC for villainizing (not that he helped himself any) him and building up ‘too little, too late’, sour grapes, would-be-with-him-right-now-had-he-not-dismissed-her, Clare? Oh, wait. Betcha Chiclets she’s among the cast of Bachelor Pad. Let’s not forget, they manipulated her just as Juan Pablo did. Doubt they’re done.

rob22

March 17, 2014 at 4:52 PM

I don’t know anyone that watches The Kardashians because they like, respect or care about them at all. People like a good train wreck and The Kardashians deliver. Three week marriages, Lamar Odom, Bruce Jenner, Kanye. You can’t find more self absorbed people then that. Mix them with vain, self absorbed, entitled beyotches and a train wreck is guaranteed. So people watch.

Now, The Bachelor has always sold the “fairy tale”. And they didn’t get that this time, so they flipped into sell the train wreck mode. And it worked. The ratings were high. The question is whether they just made lemonade out of lemons, and will now return to the fairy tale, or whether the ratings of the train wreck will draw them more in that direction in the future. People might be getting too bored and cynical for the fairy tale. Certainly the show has a solid Plan B if a show ever goes sideways again like it did with JP.