Mummy Vs Daddy…

“Daddy knows everything, even more than the computer…” Zak, aged 6.

The quote above is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Daddy is the Oracle in our house. He can do no wrong in the eyes of our children.

If one of the kids has a question, they will ask me, because their gut instinct is to utter the word, “Muuummmyyyyy….” at the top of their lungs first, but then whatever answer I give is then verified with Daddy. Because Mummy is an idiot and Daddy is smart…apparently.

Daddy and Zak, staring out to sea. It’s important to take time to reflect like this and realise just how marvellously intelligent you are…

For example, the other day when we were in the car, I was asked what was being discussed on the radio. We were listening to Radio 4 and they were talking about the EU Referendum we have looming over us here in the UK. They were discussing the points for and against whether we should stay in the EU or leave.

My eldest then asked, “Why should we leave the EU?” to which I replied, “Well, we aren’t sure if we should poppet, and that is what they are discussing on the radio. They’re trying to help us make a choice by giving us the information (albeit, none of this information was helping me because everyone was arguing like petulant school children about it as usual, but it was something to listen to and gave me something to moan about, I do love a good moan) and then we can make our own minds up”.

I thought that was a good answer, in fact, I’d have given myself a ‘good effort’ star sticker for it had I had one in my posession. I wasn’t making my sons mind up for him, or divulging what I think should happen, I gave an honest and impartial answer. Smug mummy moment – tick! But, for my eldest, that response wasn’t good enough.

“Mummy can’t make her mind up Daddy, she doesn’t know enough about it, what do you think the answer is?” replies my 8 year old.

WTAF?! Is he serious?! I don’t know enough about it?! (He is right actually, I don’t, but still, that’s besides the point!)

Cue Daddy saying pretty much the same as what Mummy has said, but with a few longer words and a bit more in depth information on Politics. He too didn’t give away how he was going to vote, he hasn’t made his mind up yet either, but this didn’t matter to my 8 year old who just listened intently, nodded along, took in what Daddy had said and then sat pondering our exsistence by staring out of the window in the back of the car.

I’m not sure he understood what was said particularly, and I am pretty sure my 8 year old just sat there and imagined a movie idea he had recently come up with where a Zombie apocalypse was taking over the world because of some infected Candyfloss everyone was given to eat (sounds more feasible than Sharknado doesn’t it?!), but Daddy didn’t get ridiculed like Mummy. Or shot down for ‘not knowing enough’. Oh no, it’s just me that suffers that fate.

It’s really starting to annoy me.

I’d like to think myself and my husband make a good team. He is good at Science, Maths, Logical thinking, Drinking Beer and wearing Lycra. Otherwise known as Cycling. I am good at English, Writing, Baking, Dancing, knowing the intro to numerous songs after just 10 seconds of listening to it and knowing what tonic goes with which Gin best. We each have our own talents, and that’s great. We can cover most bases between us. My kids, however, don’t see it that way.

If my kids had their way, I would be sat in the corner of the room with a Dunce Cap on. A complete dumbass. I’m good for knowing where stuff is, I’m good for playing waitress and giving hugs when they’re hurt, but obtaining knowledge…nope. Not silly old mummy.

Another example came yesterday morning…

My middle one was wanting to go to the toilet, so he made his way into the downstairs toilet. Daddy had been in there tinkering with the shower head and a chair was blocking the way.

“Mummy…” said my middle one.

“Yes, Zak…” I replied.

“I can’t get in the toilet because there is a chair in the way. I really need the toilet!!!” he tells me.

“Well, we are lucky and we have another toilet upstairs, so can’t you go up there and use that one?” I say.

“No. I want to go downstairs…” he moans.

“Well, you can’t because you can’t get in there. Just go upstairs!” I reply.

‘No! I want to go downstairs!!!!!” he says, again.

This conversation goes on for a good 2 minutes and involved me getting progressively more annoyed with him for not listening. I was about to loose my shizzle when Oracle Daddy then comes along and gets involved.

“Zak,” Daddy says. “Please can you go and use the upstairs toilet because there is a chair in the way downstairs and you can’t get in there at the moment”.

“Ok Daddy!” says Zak, and he skips off upstairs to do his wee.

In the words of John McEnroe, “You cannot be serious!”

Why was Daddy saying it perfectly accpetable, but mummy saying it completely ridiculous?? I swear they do it on purpose to wind me up and, unfortunately, it’s working.

Gina Ford did not cover this in her poxy book and it definitely wasn’t mentioned at NCT classes.

I think, from now on, I might start playing on my supposed stupidity a little bit more just to have a quieter life. I might just reply with, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Daddy” or, “Daddy can answer this better than Mummy” and hopefully I might get some peace and be able to get on with some other stuff (like drinking Gin) whilst my husband is interrupted constantly.

Every cloud and all that…

I’m not sure if my boys are just doting on Daddy “the Dalai Lama” because they’re boys and they love to impress him and see what he has to say, or if they genuinely think I’m a plonker and I couldn’t possibly know the answer to their questions. Time will tell I guess, but I’ll get my dunce hat ready in case…

I’m a pillock…

Do you have this problem with your children too, or is it just a Mummy Knutts affliction?

I’m now off to dig a large hole in the garden…

…I’m making a raised flower bed before you all start reporting me to the police thinking I’m about to bury my know-it-all husband in it 😉

28 Comments

Daddy is the guru in our house too. I am not called mummy. I am called silly-billy mummy. In fact Dylan has just said “daddy knows everything. I will ask him” just before I read your blog post. So this post was quite timely X

admin

April 17, 2016 / 3:03 pm

oh Yvonne!! What are we going to do with them?!?! Spookily good timing eh?! Xx

Yep, this happens in my house too!! Daddy is the all knowing genius and I clean the house…

But the funny thing is, I am also the messenger, my kids will be talking to me, with Daddy sat next to me, and ask me to ask him a question. There are two problems with this – firstly, why not just ask him themselves, secondly, I could have answered the damned question myself!!!

Love ’em…

admin

April 18, 2016 / 5:38 am

Oh, Leah!!! Seriously, this is an epidemic! Everyone is saying they suffer the same in their homes. I thought it was just me!
And that whole Chinese whispers/messenger thing is super annoying!! I think you’ve got a blog post in that!!x

Max isn’t even talking properly yet and it’s already clear that this is going to be our situation. He won’t walk anywhere for me, insists on being carried all the time, but for Daddy he’ll walk for miles! No doubt Daddy will end up being the all knowing oracle over here too…

admin

April 18, 2016 / 8:58 am

Oh, Katy! Another mum who is silly…there’s an epidemic!!! I don’t know what the answer is. The kids just seem so keen to please daddy and keep him happy and it’s the total opposite for us. Analyse that child psychologists!!x

This is what it is like in my house!! All 3 of my kids think daddy is always right, even when he’s not. It’s getting on my nerves! #TwinklyTuesdayNatasha Mairs recently posted…Kids Don’t Come with a Manual Book Review

This made me laugh and want to cry in equal measure. I wonder what it is that makes them behave this way? Clearly some new angle to the ‘Gender Equality’ battle that hasn’t been given any proper air time until now. My daughter is still too young to ask questions but I’m going to keep and eye on this.

If they were only doing it when they didn’t get their own way then I’d say it was the old ‘Playing Parents Off Against Each Other” trick, but it’s not that based on your examples.

Perhaps you need to start giving them the more ‘complex’ Daddy-style responses straight off and see if they assume your intelligence because they don’t understand what you’re saying. Worth a try at least…

It’s exactly the same in our house. Daddy has somewhat of a celebrity status and anything Daddy says or does is perfectly acceptable. Mummy (Who has two degrees in education) is a complete numpty who knows nothing! It drives me insane too, but I do use it to my advantage when the eldest has homework that he needs help with, daddy is clearly the man for that job! Do you have a spare hat for me?! 😉

I would totally play this to your own advantage – let them plague daddy with every question that pops into their head! Think of all the relaxing you can be doing whilst he struggles to maintain his current standing in their esteem…
But seriously, that would piss me off too.
x Alice
#ftmobnipperandtyke recently posted…Pinterest wins #2 How I made a Dinosaur garden

admin

April 19, 2016 / 4:13 pm

Natasha you have my deepest sympathies…and I feel your pain. One day they’ll think we are clever. Maybe when they’re parents themselves x

admin

April 19, 2016 / 4:16 pm

Ah, thanks Angela!! Xx
I find it annoying rather than upsetting thankfully but you’re totally right. I think it is some sort of gender equality issue in a weird way. But not one they’d have been taught or picked up on as my husband is very supportive and always tells the kids mummy knows things too and some things mummy knows and daddy doesn’t…and visa versa.
I’m going to investigate a bit further and see if I can figure it out.
Thanks so much for reading, sharing and commenting.xxx

admin

April 19, 2016 / 4:18 pm

I need to go into business making these Dunce hats…who said times have changed and we don’t need them

You poor thing – perhaps you’re too clever?!

I’m not sure what the answer is, I think it’s a desperate need to impress daddy and make daddy feel wanted. That’s all I can pin it down to…
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!xx

admin

April 19, 2016 / 4:19 pm

Snap! I have to add the # on after every time I write to someone!!x

admin

April 19, 2016 / 4:21 pm

I like your thinking Alice….I’m going to implement mission: annoy the crap out of daddy ASAP.
It does make me cross, not sad, just angry. And resentful. And like I want some gin xx thanks for reading and commenting!x

YES!!! Same in our house too! I like to tell myself it’s because Daddy has a deeper, scarier voice than Mummy but I’m really not sure that is the case. My kids know that I’m a pushover and play up for me all day long, and then Daddy walks in the door and they sit there like little angels and I’m sure, infact I’m POSITIVE, that they smirk in my direction. Whose idea was it to have these pesky kids again??!! #TwinklyTuesday

admin

April 19, 2016 / 8:38 pm

yes Laura!! All those things are the same here too. Spot on!! I’m sorry you also suffer the same fate…
We are clearly too nice.Xx

Oh poor Mummy – why is it that even when you pretty much say the same thing as Daddy, it doesn’t have the same reaction? I find the same – not so much yet with the answers to questions but the girls are definitely more likely to do what hubby tells them the first time. Hope you can manage to work it to your advantage! Thanks for linking up to #ftmobLouise recently posted…Can I freeze this moment please?

Mine are only 3 and 1 and the 3 year old really likes daddy to do certain things with him…. mummy is no good for storytime. I hope it doesn’t develop into this… I would find it really annoying too! Hopefully it’s a phase! #ftmobs

admin

April 21, 2016 / 8:25 pm

I hope it is too!
I think the boys are just super desperate to impress daddy and to massage his ego a bit for him because they know he works so hard…that’s what I’m hoping anyway!
xx

My children aren’t quite on this level yet, (they’re only 3 and 2,) but we are already going down this unfortunate path too… The eldest will always ask daddy exactly the same question as he’s asked me, and is always much more satisfied with daddy’s answer. He’s too young to insult me about my perceived lack of intelligence yet, but I know it’s coming!!!! When both of the children are together, they don’t listen to anything I say in regards to any bad behaviour-I’m totally ignored. Daddy tells them off once for the same thing, using no more force than me, and they jump to attention…!! It must be really infuriating for you to be treated this way, I can totally feel that pain!! I hope they soon learn that mummy is of course a far more superior guru to daddy!!!
#bigpinklink

I’d leave it to the man and revel in the break ha ha.. Mine isn’t old enough to indulge in this behaviour but I can imagine it happening big time, My other half will love it. Great post

admin

June 2, 2016 / 4:42 pm

Thanls Ceri!xx
It’s the Pitts when the kids behave like that, it’s got worse as they got older, but hopefully it’s ‘just a phase’ – I say that a lot!
Thanks so much for reading and I hope you don’t succumb to the same fate as me when your little one gets bigger!xx

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My name is Gemma, I'm a married mum to 3 feral boys & I'm the one who writes this drivel. I hope you enjoy your visit to my blog where you'll find cocktail & baking recipes, parenting rants, crafts & day out ideas.

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