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Friday, July 10, 2009

Cake Boss - Buddy Digs Up A Great Reason For A Cake

The American Museum of Natural History calls Buddy and…Hold on a second! Are we really supposed to believe that the most preeminent scientific museum in the country(world?) has Buddy Valastro on its rolodex? Anyway, they want a cake of an Indricotherium, which Buddy is told is three times the size of an elephant. He has an easier time imagining how he’s going to make the cake than pronouncing the word Indricotherium.

He’s going to use Fahn-DAHNT and modeling Chaw-ko-LOT. Buddy’s planning to put a caveman next to the Indrico-thing to show its massive size. They’re going to dirty ice the cake and then cover it with Fahn-DAHNT. Plus, Buddy is designing a big tree, which will be made with PVC piping and covered with modeling Chaw-ko-LOT. They’re also making tons of leaves and rivers, and goodness knows what else, to fill out the prehistoric landscape.

Buddy’s other cake of the week is a Sweet 16 cake for a beach AND city loving 16 year old. She likes hot pink and teal. He makes a bunch of square layers and arranges them off-center.

Back to the museum cake, Buddy has to think hard about how keep the underbelly of the beast in place. He makes a wooden frame to support it. There’s a problem, though. The tons of pound cake he needs wasn’t taken out of the freezer in time.

Buddy is MAD, MAD, MAD at Danny, although, frankly, I got the feeling that when the cameras were turned off, he went up to Danny and said, “How did I do? Did I LOOK really mad?”

The body of the cake is truly amazing. He stacks many cakes sideways to become the torso. Goodness, that much cake would feed the mucho-huge animal itself. Then he puts what looks like smashed up Rice Krispie treats on the underbelly.

In the midst of all the hubbub, Frankie grabs Buddy for a few minutes for a heart to heart. He’s unhappy at having to do the same thing day in and day out. Did they really need to have that talk NOW? Frankie wants to start decorating cakes and not just mixing up things.

Buddy decides to give him his niece’s dance recital cake to bake. Mary, the mother, doesn’t think he’ll do a good job. She says Buddy is being Frankie’s bitch by having him ask her if it’s okay. Or maybe Frankie is BUDDY’S bitch. Whatever! I’m not really sure.

Mary finally agrees and gets difficult and wants ballet shoes and a 3 tiered chocolate AND vanilla cake and a bunch of other stuff. Frankie is happy. Buddy keeps coming over and asking him if he needs help. Frankie draws ballerinas (he used to be stock broker, we learn). The problem is that when he draws a ballerina, it looks like a man. He asks cute little Toni to help him. No prob.

Back to the paying customers…the sweet 16 cake really looks amazing. It has a cityscape on it as well as beachy things and it’s hot pink and lime.

Cousin Anthony (Ant-Knee), delivery boy, suddenly appears. (Which sister is his mother and what happened to suddenly make HIM the delivery boy, instead of Stretch? Maybe at last Sunday’s family dinner, Ant-Knee’s mother insisted that HE be on the show too, so they appointed him the delivery boy for the episode.) Anyway, Ant-Knee and Danny carry the cake out. Oh MY!!! They drop the entire Sweet 16 cake DOWN the stairs. The ENTIRE thing!

The sisters appear. Mary says my bruddah is going to kill you. What did youse do? Buddy immediately calls the troops together and gets everyone working on mixing the wild colors. They have to make the entire cake all over again. There are about a million hands all over it, and, amazingly, they finish it in an hour and a half. Buddy delivers it himself. When Lexi, the 16 year old, sees it, she squeals. The other 16 year olds also love it. I wonder what that cake cost.

Btw, I watched that cake-dropping incident several more times and I just can’t tell if it was real or not. I think it’s entirely possible that Buddy sacrificed a cake for the sake of drama. I can really believe that TLC came to him and said, “Can you please drop a whole cake down the stairs this week and then rush to make a new one?”

Toni finishes the drawing for Frankie’s cake. Frankie prints it out on edible paper and mounts it on gum paste. EVERYONE is watching Frankie and it makes him nervous. He stays to finish the cake when everyone leaves.

For the museum cake, Buddy mixes more modeling Chaw-ko-LOT and Fahn-DAHNT and makes it look all rough to look like the hippo-like skin. They paint the cake with “Luster Dust”, which we learn is “an edible, colored powder that sparkles”. Buddy really is an artist.

They put the cake on the board on top of little stands under each foot. They fill in the base with cake and plants and bushes and rocks and dirt. It’s really amazing. The cake weighs close to 400 pounds. They get it onto the elevator and somehow get it on to the truck.

We see a preview of next week, where Buddy and all the boys compete against the sisters to see who can lose more weight. What are they going to do, cut their doughnut consumption to only 20 a day?

The monstrously heavy cake arrives at the museum. They actually have to carry it up the front steps. They bring it in to the festivities with great fanfare. Repeating the joke he made to us at the beginning at the epsiode, Buddy says he doesn’t know which was harder - pronouncing its name or making the cake. Yuck yuck. I've never seen giggling paleontologists before. He pronounces it correctly and they are so impressed with him and the cake.

There’s a huge family dinner to celebrate Lucia’s dance recital. Frankie brings it out to great acclaim. It looked good. Buddy hugs (and kisses) him. And so ends another week in the life of the Cake Boss.

5 comments:

I know! I didn’t tape this show, but I watched it twice and it looked like Danny dumped that cake in slow motion. Buddy has TOO much excitement for it to be real – cake dumping, dove hunting, Mama, mean sisters, and property defacing brides. Even if some of it’s fake, it’s still funny. Those two guys who went dove hunting were hilarious. As for bridezilla, I didn’t like her cake either because it looked like he decorated only one side. If I’d had this much excitement when I worked, I never would have gotten those long naps in.

I miss Stretch; he reminded me of my sweet younger brother, if you can call fortyish young, which I can’t.

In all actuality, every time I see this episode I watch Danny and he dumped the cake on purpose. You can see him shoving it over when tony asks to hold on and Danny just dumped the cake down the stairs. If it wasn't planned, the only thing Ic an figure was him getting revenge for Buddy yelling at him over the frozen cakes.

Hi Anon,I definitely think there might be something in what you're saying. The whole thing seemed so outlandish at the time. I think I'm going with my theory of TLC asking the Cake Boss to drop a whole cake down the stairs. That seems the most likely. For all we know, it wasn't even a real cake that was being dropped.