#EXNIHILO: THE READING LISTThis year, I brought my debut solo show to the Edinburgh Fringe. Titled ExNihilo – Confessions of a Recovering Nihilist, the show attempted to take the narrative thread of my twenty-year battle with bipolar disorder, and apply it to my poetic performances. It was also an attempt to detail my philosophical journey, which threaded its way through bleak, nihilistic tendencies, via a rigorous scientific pessimism, into my on-again / off-again political engagement.

As to whether the show was a success (creatively at least – financially and critically, it did okay!), I defer to your judgement. It was without a doubt something of a Frankenstein's monster of a show – featuring as it did several poems I had been performing, sans context, for a year or more; stitched together with personal anecdotes, rants, and selected quotations from the titles below. This list has its origins in conversations which happened after the show - a lot of people wanted to know where specific quotes had come from, and the context in which they appeared. These books are really just the tip of the iceberg – they are the books I specifically quoted in the show, or the books which inspired or influenced the show's narrative. In the main, they are philosophical books, with a few diversions into poetry, comics, literary criticism and popular science.

If you do end up reading them, I hope you will find these books as inspiring, challenging and exciting as I did... and if you would like any further recommendations, please don't hesitate to get in touch! If you came to see the show, thank you from the bottom of my black, squamous heart.

A little post-script - while writing this list, I wanted to link to each of the titles online. Unsurprisingly, the easiest way to do this was by linking to their Amazon entry. However, I implore you, look for these books elsewhere! I've only linked to Amazon for expediency, but by doing so, I have of course given a perfect example of the way capitalism uses convenience and apathy to make us all complicit in its horrific abuse of workers, the environment, small businesses and the human soul. For that, I can only apologise.

Image - The author's desk, which as you can see, is very well organised. Is there a clue to the next show hiding somewhere in here...?

Peter Sjosted-H – Neo-Nihilism: The Philosophy of PowerAlthough this is the book on the list which I read last, it had a huge influence on the show. I hastily re-wrote some of the show's earlier, introductory parts to frame some of Sjosted-H's arguments – they are the clearest, most salient summaries of the modern position of nihilist philosophy available. Not only does this short book neatly frame and explain the major dialogues and ideas of classical nihilist thinkers such as Nietszsche and Schopenhauer, it also manages to update the more outdated and antiquated arguments these philosophers espoused, allowing the reader to build in classical nihilist tropes and strategies to a realistic, ruthlessly modern worldview. I already had the show's shape and structure when I read this book, but it managed to elegantly re-confirm and underline all of the central points I was trying to make. As such, its' influence was both a progenitor of some of the show's key moments, and a book I felt was closely in dialogue with the philosophical points I wanted to make about nihilism in the modern era. I'd also like to take the chance to publicly thank Peter Sjosted-H for re-tweeting and endorsing the show during its opening run. Thank you Peter!

Thomas Ligotti – The Conspiracy Against The Human RaceLigotti, a horror writer and philosopher, gives a bleakly humorous and intellectually rigorous account of the history of pessimism and nihilism, introducing the central concerns and noted spokespeople, before exploring the darker, more pessimistic corners of fiction, both genre and classical, and examining the nihilistic worldview, as portrayed in art. Something of a personal project for Ligotti, reading this book was in many ways the jumping off point for my show. I began to consider Ligotti's maxim about the unpopularity of pessimistic worldviews, and that gave me the fuel I needed to construct a show bookended by zen-like, heroic pessimist sentiments, but with a core of cold, brutal, detached nihilism. In essence, Ligotti laid down the challenge – how does one write about nihilism, but retain public appeal? – and I attempted to embrace it. A fantastic book, and essential reading for anyone who equates pessimism with realism. I also recently joined ligotti.net to do some more reading into these themes - maybe I'll see you on the forum there...

John Gray – Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans & Other Animals & Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of UtopiaAlthough third on this list, John Gray's writings were my first proper encounter with philosophical pessimism, and as such, were an equal part of the show's inspiration as the first two books mentioned. Gray, in the 1980s, was an apologist for Thatcher's regime and a noted right-wing political thinker. He abandoned the right without drinking the utopian left-wing Kool Aid, and since then has been one of the most thoughtful, controversial and sceptical of British philosophers. Straw Dogs is a magnificent treatise arguing against the illusions of progress, utopia and human superiority to animals (Gray also, rather delightfully, dismisses Nietzsche as a Christian apologist in atheist clothing). Black Mass meanwhile is an excoriating deconstruction of the political fallacies which proceed from the utopian impulse. Both are absolutely essential.

Susan Blackmore – The Meme MachineI first read Blackmore's chilling, mechanistic expansion upon Richard Dawkins' theory of memetics as a callow 16-year old, searching for meaning outside of spirituality and politics. The central conceit – that ideas are transmissible in (broadly) the same way as genes – is now a well-worn trope, but it is hard to argue against the fearful symmetry Blackmore draws between genetic and memetic models. In clear, lucid prose, she achieves what so many philsosophers, psychologists and neurologists have struggled to do – she presents a unified theory of 'mind' with no central super-ego or guiding 'will,' neatly dissecting and solving Daniel Dennet's 'benign user illusion' problem with consciousness. Blackmore's take on memetics positions human consciousness as an intricate illusion, a function of narrative; and human culture as a constantly metastasizing hybrid or emerging mutation. As Ruhst Cole says in True Detective, “We are things that labour under the illusion of having a self.” This is a very Blackmore-esque formulation.

Eugene Thacker - In The Dust of This Planet (Horror of Philosophy Volume 1)A collection of essays by Eugene Thacker analysing horror and genre fiction as a way of examining the vulnerability of the human condition, our biosphere, and the universe at large. I have not read the full collection at the time of writing, but there are some excellent pieces, on which I drew briefly during the show's development. This is the perfect accompaniment to Ligotti's tome, and Thacker's formulation of 'cosmic pessimism' is not a million miles from Ligotti's formulations. (Thanks to Ali Maloney for the recommendation!)

K. Eric Drexler – Engines of Creation: The Coming Era of NanotechnologyDrexler's seminal, partly speculative text on the development of nanotechnology and artificial intelligence is characterised by an enthusiastic and infectious optimism about mankind's chances of survival, if we can marshal atom-level technologies (while also providing more than a few apocalyptic, 'grey goo' type scenarios along the way). Although my extended riff on nanotechnology ended up being cut from the show, I do believe that nanotech and 3D printing are probably the human race's two best hopes for overcoming the population explosion, resource wars, and climate change, and for revolutionising space travel. If you want to understand the future, in particular the technological advances which Susan Blackmore has termed the 'third replicator' in human evolution, Drexler's intoxicating scientific adventure is a brilliant place to start. Who knows, maybe we aren't all doomed...? Spoilers, we are.

Robert Anton Wilson – Prometheus Rising&Quantum PsychologyTwo selections from Robert Anton Wilson, the mischievous Crowley disciple whose writing connects behavioural psychology, philosophy, chaos magic, psychedelia and symbolism in intellectually challenging, usually very witty ways. Everything he has written is worth reading (especially the very funny Illuminatus! Trilogy) but these are two of my favourites. Prometheus Rising delves into the philosophies and approaches of Timothy Leary, Gurdjieff and the aforementioned Crowley, while its' follow-up is more heavy on the metaphysics, crypto-theology and philosophy, spending a lot of time dissecting Aristotle's basic foundations, and containing some very entertaining meditations on human potential.

Aleister Crowley – Konx-Om-Pax: Essays in LightCrowley's anti-Christian rhetoric is nowhere more beautifully written than in Konx-Om-Pax, a dizzying, poetic allegory of his beliefs which manages to elucidate the anti-Christian viewpoint as a sceptical, deconstruction-based approach to phenomenology, ontology and psychology. Put simply, Crowley was one of the first and most exciting thinkers to attempt to abandon the Christianity-centred viewpoint of the Victorian worldview, and progress towards something else. His formulations for personal power and individual achievement sometimes read like a manual for constructing the vertiginous self-obsession of late-period capitalism, but they also contain the seeds of its destruction.

Hakim Bey – The Temporary Autonomous Zone: Ontological Anarchy, Poetic TerrorismHakim Bey's poetic, sexually-charged, often dangerously transgressive prose contains some absolutely fascinating ideas about freedom – of expression, of identity, and of movement – in the digital and post-digital world. The central trope of the TAZ has become even more significant since the book's publication, with the rise of pop-ups, online forums and social media all in some ways echoing, mirroring or demeaning the philosophical construct of the TAZ. Absolutely essential reading for anyone who wants to understand how to live free, even in a panopticon.

David Lee Morgan – Science, Love and RevolutionOne of only two books of poetry in this list – I first encountered David Lee Morgan at the 2015 Scottish Slam Championships, where he very nearly made the final three (and probably, should have won). Much like my own work, his urgent, iconoclastic, idol-smashing verse is delivered in a howling torrent of words, often over broken hip-hop and electronic beats. A poetic juggernaut, relentlessly concerned with notions of humanity, equality and resistance, David is a poet of rare power and ruthless relevance, giving the lie to the idea that spoken word performers are twee, audience-flattering verb-merchants who spend their time preaching to the converted. Challenging ideas, expressed beautifully. I have also included David's book because his 2015 show, Building God, made me reconsider some of the more blame-attributing, toxic passages in the show, and gave me a fresh perspective on the rifts between the Boomers, Generation X and Y, and the millennials.

Allen Ginsberg – Howl and Other PoemsOf course, Howl was and continues to be a major inspiration – unarguably the greatest modern long-form poem (fuck T.S. Eliot, seriously), Howl takes the form of an autobiographical portrait, an epic narrative, and an incredibly descriptive stream-of-consciousness cry from the heart. The way Ginsberg and the Beats deconstructed form, instead revering subject matter and honesty, was truly revolutionary, and the shocks continue to reverberate to this day.

Ales Kot (with Riley Rossmo) – Wild ChildrenAles Kot's Wild Children is the finest graphic novel to have been published in the 2000s so far, in my humble opinion. Questioning the underlying structure of reality in a Phildickian / Morrisonian way, while telling the story of a high school bloodbath, Kot artfully expresses deep philosophical questions about the generation gap, post-internet Millennial culture and the theatrical, narrative and performative aspects of revolutionary rhetoric and ideas.

Grant Morrison (with various artists): The InvisiblesThe ultimate psychedelic revolutionary manual, this comic re-programmed my brain from its first issue in 1994 until the turn of the century. The story of the resistance, the orthodoxy it claims to resist, and the symbiotic relationship between power and protest. A mystical, shamanic awakening in narrative form, this is where I first encountered Blackmore and memetics, Nietzsche, the Marquis de Sade, multiverse theory and so many other tropes which became utterly vital to my thinking and outlook. If you haven't read The Invisibles, I am sorry, because it probably works best if you begin as a teenager, and follow it up to a millennial event... Re-reading it now, I imagine its power would be diminished by experiencing it first in the ultra-modern context we now live in. It is an artefact of its time, and not without its flaws. Also, the letters columns were the source of much of the cultural recommendations and extended discussions that led me to Blackmore, deSade and others... and they are sadly absent from the collected graphic novels. Nevertheless, in a world (the 90s) which was far less internet-savvy, far less familiar with transgressive art, sexuality and aesthetics, and far more revolutionary in its cultural leanings, reading The Invisibles was like a monthly dose of DMT. To read it now is to see the ways in which Morrison's extended 'hypersigil' has influenced and shaped the culture (and comics) which came after... which isn't quite the same thing as being under its spell at a seminal moment in your life. What I am saying is, it's a bit like reading Kerouac's On The Road for the first time at thirty years old. It might seem like some solipsistic, self-indulgent bullshit to you... but try and remember what it felt like to be a younger version of yourself, and read it in that spirit. Also? The Invisibles is the origin of BARBELITH.

Warren Ellis – Cunning PlansA brilliant collection of talks from the pre-eminent comics writer of our era, Warren Ellis. At its peak, his Freakangels forum was the germination space for several of my creative projects, and continues to provide friendship, encouragement and community for me in a world where I find precious little of those things. It was thanks to Warren I began to experiment with e-publishing; that I read Peter Sjosted-H; that I began to think about topics like hauntology, atemporalism and aesthetics. He is, no doubt about it, a brilliant mind – and although his writing nearly always presents itself tonally as misanthropic and caustic, it is actually filled with love and light and hope; a dogged adherence to humanistic principles. This collection of talks shows Ellis at his best – exploring the liminal boundaries of possible futures, and excavating the mythic past for shadows of the future, our present. Read this, and then everything else the man has ever written (most urgently, Transmetropolitan, his glorious swansong for cyberpunk).

Bret Easton-Ellis – American PsychoThe perfect satire of American neocapitalism – every knife-stroke is aimed with black hatred and bile-filled fury at the heart of 1980s Wall Street. This was, I believe, the text which confirmed me as a vehement anti-capitalist, and I quoted from it in the introduction to the book of ExNihilo. The film adaptation was played as a period drama, often for laughs, but the novel remains one of the greatest transpositions of Russian Cold War-era protest literature's personal/political apocalyptica into American late-capitalist satire ever achieved – a much more direct hit than the claustrophobic near-futures of DeLillo, or the meta-complex fairytales of Auster, for all their magnificence. It is of course also worth reading the book which inspired this one, Dostoyevsky's Notes From Underground.

Iain McWhirter - Road to ReferendumA great overview of the fractious, complicated, sometimes tragic history of the Scottish independence movement, written in the run-up to the 2014 referendum by one of Scotland's best political writers.

﻿Friedrich Nietzsche – The Gay Science, Thus Spake Zarathustra, Beyond Good and Evil, The Antichrist﻿Arthur Schopenhauer – On the Will in Nature, On the Freedom of the Will [not linked]Although I originally read some Nietzsche and Schopenhauer as a moody teenager, I found their language and complexity a little challenging, and didn't return to them until after reading Gray, Ligotti, and Sjosted-H. I returned to cast some light on these writers' takes on the great forefathers of philosophical pessimism, and to analyse their key concerns. Thankfully, I found them greatly illuminated by the subsequent commentaries. I would highly recommend reading or re-reading these specific titles after a run through the rest of the list.

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