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Dear Slovie, A Mom of a 3 year old thatI know was apalled that her child had a tantrum in the mall wearing a yalmake. She felt the incident was such a "chillel Hashem." I know its normal for 3 year olds to have tantrums in the mall but in what way would I ask her to respond to the "chillel Hashem part."

Reply:

The problem is not the child having a tantrum as much as the response of the mother who is clearly identified through her son's yarmulka. All kids have tantrums and erupt. If the mother handled the situation calmly without losing it, or if she took the child out of the area where he would be screeching at people instead of allowing him to act out, kicking and screaming, then there is no issue. We have all been in the 'tantrum in public' scenario-no matter who we are. It is when a parent is conceived of as too harsh, out of control screaming or even hitting or completely out of tune and not trying to handle the situation that a possible 'chilul Hashem' arises.