Friday, April 15, 2011

I Just Don't Get It

I was reading another man's blog, he also has suffered the loss of both legs. What caught my attention was his statement that the loss of both legs had not dramatically changed his life. Huh? I tried to understand his statement and figure out how he could honestly feel that way. In an attempt to not place judgment upon him and make comparisons between he and I, I still do not understand his claim.
The loss of my legs has dramatically changed the way do just about every task in my life. Lets see, it changed the way I get dressed and undressed, it changed the way I shower, it altered the way I use the bathroom, the way I drive (or soon will), the way I walk, the way I excercise and on it goes.
However, what the loss has not changed is the love I have in my heart for God, my family, my friends and life in general. Do you suppose that is what he means? I would like to believe that I chose to approach the loss of my legs in the most positive manner I could muster and yet I cannot say it has not dramatically changed my life.
I was talking to a friend about this and he said maybe the other man had developed a different type of outlook on his life. It seems to me, at least im my life, no matter what kind of outlook you may have developed, you could still not make a statement about limb loss not changing your life. When I hear stories of people's lives that have been changed as a result of injury, disease, death of a loved one or any major change, I try to pay attention to how they handle their particular situation. The reason I pay attention, is to learn; to learn for myself ways of developing coping skills that may help me through my trials.
I understand the importance of acceptance and the importance of moving on. I also understand that maintaining the most positive attitude toward a seemingly unsurmountable obstacle is benefical in the long run. I always strive to be and do the best I can possibly do in any given situation. I made my mind up early in this limb loss scenario that I would not allow it to rule my life with respect to happiness and accomplishment. Thus far, I feel I have done what I set out to do.
Further, I realize that my God given spirit is whole and intact. Knowing that my spirit will always remain whole and undamaged has given me comfort and strength.
Unlike the other man, who stated that limb loss had not dramatically changed his life, I don't honestly feel that way nor will I make such a statement. I do believe this loss will in some way manifest itself into a way for me to help others. I want my loss, to be a gain of sorts, a gain in compassion, love and understanding.
A friend of mine from Seattle was having trouble logging on to my blog. When she became increasingly perplexed and unable to connect to my blog she wrote to me in an email, "I'm stumped." Upon reading this, I chuckled, and I subsequently told her, "nice choice of words" then we both laughed.
Well that is how I feel about the man who stated his bialateral leg loss had not dramatically affected his life. Really? "I'm stumped" by that statement.

1 comment:

The only thing that I can think of is that maybe the guy had been in a wheelchair for some period of time before the loss of his legs - making the adjustment somewhat less dramatic? That, or maybe he's always been, and continues to be a couch potato! Even after losing both legs, it sounds like you have more energy and accomplish more than I do on my best days.- Dan

About Me

I am a 56 year old gay man. I am a bilateral above knee amputee. I lost my right leg in July 2008 and recently lost my left leg in Dec. 2010. I lost my legs as a result of hypercoagulation syndrome.(My blood is inherently too thick and consequently clots too easily.)I have created this blog as a suggestion from my nephew. I will be writing a book about my experiences in the future.I having writing this blog since February 2011,I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts and feelings about my limb loss and hope my words have found a place in your heart.