When you get to be a certain age you start to notice that mainstream media loves telling you what to do. Every year Vogue magazine publishes their “Age Issue” which has style guides for what every woman should wear at a certain age, their twenties, their thirties and so on. If you search using google search and enter in “what not to wear after age ___” you are met with many links that will tell you items that women of a certain age should never, ever put on their bodies, lest this causes swarms of locusts to descend upon the earth and anyone who encounters them to have blood start dripping from their eyeballs as they clutch their heads in agony. It’s a whole mess of sartorial ageist bullshit. Here is just a sampling.

Avoid Wear Leopard Prints
A leopard print chiffon maxi-dress can be knowing and innocent all at the same time if YOU are a teenager. By 30, it should be avoided at all the time, even on a scarf or pair of tights. If you still wear it, you LOOK weird.

Never Have A Tattoo
Tattoo is a trend for teenager. Women over 30 shouldn’t have tattoos. If not, you may look like the photo below. Can you accept it?

Never Have A Long Hair
Long hair can look good on anyone as long as it is in good condition, and I totally disagree here.

“I’m here to tell you that after a certain age — let’s say 30 — ultralong styleless hair makes you appear to be desperately hanging onto your youth, or your man or both.”

Not To Wear Distressed Denim
Sadly, Julianne Moore never received this memo and she should be scorned forever for leaving the house like this because she is over the age of 30.

Not To Show Off Cleavage
“Anything that shows off too much is off-limits. In other words, either boobs or legs not both, please! Or, nix both boobs and legs and show off your sexy shoulders pick an off the shoulder top that lets your shoulder and cleavage show just a hint.”

Never Wear Bikini
By 30, wear bikini walk along the beach if not suitable to you anymore. As I said before, this is good to wear when you are young, sexy and capable to seductive boys. If not, when you wear like this, people are look on you a old lady is coming out to seductive people, damage their eyes.