Jack Wilshere - the media's sole response to the question: How are England going to win future tournaments? - has been slapped on the wrist by UEFA for a tweet he made about betting.

He's expected to miss the whole of next season.

The 20-year-old tweeted that Arsenal team-mate Emmanuel Frimpong was "worth a cheeky £10" to be the first scorer at long odds in the Champions League match against Olympiacos in December, proving he knows as much about betting as I do.

Frimpong was subsequently loaned out to Wolves, who were subsequently relegated. The two events were unrelated - Wolves were already that bad.

Wilshere later insisted that he had been joking, tweeting: "I didn't actually bet on the game. I know we're not allowed to!"

What he should have done was blame John Terry.

Bookies Bodog are offering 10-1 about any Premier League player being sacked over a tweet next season and 16-1 for any Premier League club to impose a Twitter ban.

Such a ban could possibly contravene human rights, and maybe even Joey Barton's.

My lawyer assures me it could be legal for a club to impose such a ban but then he always says "a man is innocent until proven broke."

Carroll's Italian Job

Andy Carroll has told mates he would jump at a move to the San Siro because he's always fancied a crack at Spanish football.

AC Milan have made no secret of their admiration for the big man, which makes you think their chief scout has seen something in him nobody else has spotted.

Then you learn Milan are also interested in signing Edin Dzeko, which makes you think their chief scout is Tonto.

At the San Siro, Carroll would be expected to link up with Antonio Cassano as Milan bid for anyone with the initials AC. Abbey Clancy is on standby, though Carroll is rated a cheaper option.

Carroll had one-and-half good games for Liverpool last season and that was enough to earn him a place at Euro 2012 and also the Kop Playerof-the-Year award.

Carroll's future at Liverpool does not look particularly bright under new manager Brendan Rodgers but, then again, neither does Liverpool's. Carroll, odds on with Ladbrokes not to be a Liverpool player at the end of the transfer window, is 11-4 with Hills to be playing elsewhere.