d.What might
you have concluded about how men should be treated on the basis of observing
your other with your father? For example:

i.Men should be
pampered and waited on

ii.Men need to
be yelled at to get them to do anything

iii.Men should be
ignored

iv.Men are
useless

v.If you want
something done right, do it yourself

vi.Men will hurt
you if you’re not careful

e.How did your
father treat your mother? Was he:

i.Affectionate

ii.Involved

iii.Unaffectionate

iv.Uninvolved

v.Critical

vi.Blaming

vii.Shaming

viii.Rejecting

ix.Loving

f.In what ways
are you similar to him?

g.What were his
strengths and weaknesses

h.What might
you have concluded about how women should be treated on the basis of this? For
example:

i.Women should
serve men

ii.Women are
inferior

iii.Women are
more powerful than men

iv.Women are
more vulnerable

i.How did your
mother treat you? Was she:

i.Affectionate

ii.Involved

iii.Unaffectionate

iv.Uninvolved

v.Critical

vi.Blaming

vii.Shaming

viii.Rejecting

ix.Loving

j.What might
have you concluded about what you deserve in life on the basis of her treatment
of you? For example:

i.I deserve
respect

ii.I’m going to
be rejected

iii.If people get
to know me they wont like me

iv.I need to
protect myself and not let anyone hurt me

k.How did your
father treat you? Was he:

i.Affectionate

ii.Involved

iii.Unaffectionate

iv.Uninvolved

v.Critical

vi.Blaming

vii.Shaming

viii.Rejecting

ix.Loving

l.What might
you have concluded about what you deserve in life on the basis of his treatment
of you? For example:

i.I deserve
respect

ii.I’m going to
be rejected

iii.If people get
to know me they wont like me

iv.I need to
protect myself and not let anyone hurt me

m.If you were
raised without contact with one of your parents, what did you conclude about
his or her lack of involvement with you? For example:

i.I’m not very
important

ii.I don’t
deserve love

iii.It’s not save
to trust anyone

iv.I can do a
lot without anyone’s help

v.I’m strong

n.What areas do
you need to work on in your communication with your husband? I should:

i.Be more
patient

ii.Be more critical

iii.Not yell as
much

iv.Be more
direct

v.Not avoid
conflict so much

vi.Appreciate
him more

o.What would
you like him to work on? I want him to:

i.Be more
patient with me

ii.Be less
critical

iii.Not yell as
much

iv.Be more
direct

v.Not avoid
conflict as much

vi.Appreciate me
more

c.Exercises

i.Write out a
list of all changes you’d like to see in your life.

1.divided into
categories:

a.“Changes in
myself”

b.“Changes in
my marriage”

c.“Changes in
my family”

d.“Changes at
work”

e.“Changes in
etc..”

2.Commit to
changing one or two for each category over the next 6 months.

Related Links:

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/couple/right/articles/0,,144_579356,00.html
–This website explains some of the “top” relationship problems that can occur
and what the best plan of action is. It offers the solutions in a matter of
fact way that kind of explains it as an expectation for these problems to
arise. The website is geared for women, so I’m assuming that the one who
creates the problem is the man, and the woman did not do anything to instigate
the action.

http://www.lhj.com/home/Relationship-Problems.html
-This website was much the same as the previously mentioned one. It seems that
they are focusing more on women than men and they are providing advice that
exemplifies the dominance model more than any other model.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/stagesofmarriage/a/marriagemodel.htm
- So I googled “Marriage models” and came up with this website that explained
different levels of marriages. It seemed funny to me that they referred to what
looks like the dominance model as the “traditional” model. And in the first
part there are four separate models rather than the three that are explained in
this course, another opinion breaks up the marriage models into even more than
the three or four, and gives them extremely technical names. Nevertheless, I
found it amusing.