5 Suggestions for Justin Bieber’s New Perfume

Do you want to smell like something Justin Bieber enjoys? Now’s your chance: the 17-year-old pop star’s got a women’s perfume in the works. Justin explained:

“Let’s be real, the way a girl smells is very important to a guy. I have such a deep connection with my fans, so creating a fragrance that I personally love is another way I can bring them closer to my world.”

Plus, Terry Richardson shot the campaign. All right then! As we’re utterly obsessed with all things Biebs, we naturally have some suggestions for what this perfume should be. (The actual scent is called “Someday” and smells fruity, but eff that noise.):

1. “Eau Canada”: A tribute to Justin’s home nation. Earthy, with an undercurrent of poutine. Might make moose want to have sex with you.
2. “Eau de Terry Richardson’s Closet”: Musky with notes of dirty flannel, semen and PBR.
3. “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos”: Teenage boys love Cheetos! So what if their girlfriends smelled like them? Genius!
4. “Bieber Sweat”: What if the fragrance had actual Justin Bieber pheromones in it?!?
5. “Flowers ‘n Shit”: Flowers smell nice. Everyone thinks this. A safe bet.