Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Over the past few years I have noticed that society is seeming to change it's perception of kinky sex. Is this observation true or is it just a fad? Is it possible that our culture is coming out of the closet or is it just our society being desensitized to sex! Are people needing more or wanting more to see what else is out there. Whatever the answer is I think it is about time. I have been hearing some statistics regarding a favorite kink of mine - chastity. I was told that the interest in male and female chastity has increased something like 600% in the past 10 years. This of course gets me thinking why. What is it about chastity that has people opening up about this fetish? Is it the ultimate form of control over the sexual needs of another? I think that is partially true. I know that forced chastity is a huge fetish in the lifestyle. For a person to willfully agree to be locked in a chastity device is a huge act of submission. I know I seem to contradict myself when I say that "willfully giving" control over to another and agreeing to be locked in a chastity device is in direct contradiction to being "forced into Chastity". While being forced to do something is a huge turn on the dominant still has to be responsible and know the submissives limits.

Let me say something right now before we go any further - EVERYONE HAS LIMITS!! I receive emails daily from male and female subs saying they have no limits and I can do whatever I want. That is a crock of SHIT! Everyone has limits and if you are a submissive and a dominant accepts this without question my advice to you is run. Run as far away as you can. If a dominant does not speak with you about this no limits offer then you should not submit yourself to that person. This brings me to another thing that is driving me crazy. With the internet people are finding out about this lifestyle and kinky play. The biggest problem is people getting online and reading about different things they think might be fun to spice up their sex lives. That would be great if people would learn about this lifestyle and learn the risks involved. I am not saying everyone does this but it is a trend that I see happening more and more.

Let me give you an example. I was watching a show the other day and it was about accidents that happen while having sex. I was shocked to see the amount of people that have had to go to the ER when they have tried something kinky and things went wrong. The last show I watched was about a chastity belt. In a nutshell a woman put a chastity belt on her boyfriend (his idea of course) while she was on a week long business trip. Upon returning home, her boyfriend was ready to have the belt taken off. She told him that she had lost the key on accident. Now that right there is how I know that these two people were not seriously into the lifestyle. You should never, ever lock someone into a chastity belt and then leave for any amount of time and not have an extra key some where that the person in chastity can access in case of an emergency.

First and foremost safety is #1. BDSM involves things that can be dangerous. People have died participating in activities in this lifestyle. Back to what happened to this couple. The man was so desperate to get the belt off so he took a hammer and had his girlfriend break the belt. Ouch! After they got the belt off they had to go to the ER due to the damage that happened to his penis. He ended up being fine but all this could have been avoided. If they had learned about safety when having someone in chastity they would have known to have a key somewhere the submissive could have accessed in case of an emergency! Now that I see the increase in people wanting to dabble in kinky play it is more important than ever to make sure people understand the risks.

So back to my question. Is there an increase in people interested in this lifestyle or are people now finding out about kink through the internet which has allowed them to come out of the closet? Personally I think it is a little of both. Since I do think the internet and things like Fifty shades of grey are opening people to this lifestyle, it is very important to make sure they understand the risks and know how to play safely. For my part I am starting a blog about BDSM safety. I love input from others so I invite anyone to let me know if they would like to contribute to the blog. To check my new blog visit bdsmsafety.blogspot.com and let me know if you would like to post safety tips. That's all I have for now!

It has taken me a while to make this post. One of my closest friends passed away in the summer of 2013. She was an amazing woman, Mistress and friend. I miss her company and cherish the friendship we shared. I will miss her and her wisdom for the rest of my life. Her slave was one of the best and well trained submissives I have met. His life's purpose was to serve Mistress Raven and he did that beautifully. Mistress Raven was a blessing to all she touched and her passing will be felt by those who loved her forever.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I know I have been out of the loop for a while but much to my dismay the awesome MsRika.com is no longer online. Out of all the successfull Dominant women I know, MsRika.com was an invaluable source. From experience, I know message boards can become innondated with Spammers (assholes) but I always took for granted that MsRika's Forum would be online forever. There were years of wisdom in her posts and replies and I will miss her site very much. If anyone knows if she has started a new website, please leave a comment and let me know. Ms.Rika, if you by chance read this post, please let me know what is going on!!!!