Decision

In this show, I am not talking about just any food, but food kryptonites. Those are food that will trigger a binge. These are foods that you truly cannot “eat just one” because once you start it as though someone opened the floodgates of hunger and you won’t stop eating until it is all gone or you become physically ill. (In my case, I am talking about potato chips. Or “crisps” if you are in the UK.)

If you have food in your home that causes uncontrolled cravings and temptations, the remedy is simple. Throw it away. Really. Pitch it in the garbage and then don’t buy it again.

But you probably will not do it. I know that there are two basic objections:

You paid money for it and don’t want to throw money away

Other people live in your home and you don’t want to be selfish.

Since you’ve already paid for it, the money is gone whether you eat it or throw it away. You don’t get a refund for eating it. You will only get fatter. So why eat it and unravel any success you may have achieved just because you’ve already spent money on food that is causing your problems?

The second objection is more difficult, but not really. Again, I’m not talking about all the food in your house (I hope!) but rather one specific food. Let’s assume your trigger is ice cream. And you live with others–maybe your significant other, or children or parents. And they like ice cream, too, but don’t struggle with it as you do.

Throw it away.

Be selfish, in the good context. Take care of yourself. We are talking about a food that is not vital to life. And we are not saying that you go to your local supermarket and demand that all ice cream be removed. Just get it out of the house. If your family members really want ice cream, they can go buy some for dessert. (And if they are unwilling to make a separate trip to buy it, they really didn’t want it too badly, did they?)

But here is a comparison. It is not a great comparison, but it will suffice.

Let’s make an assumption that you discover someone in your home has a bad drinking problem. It’s affecting their health, their job, and everyone’s life. Would you dump al the beer, wine and liquor in the home to help them?

I’d guess that you would.

Well, in my earlier example, ice cream is having a similar (albeit much slower) effect on you as the alcohol on your family member. As we gain weight and get older, we will become more of a burden on everyone around us. Obesity makes other diseases worse, and can actually cause diseases (heart disease and diabetes to name two.) If you would willingly give up all alcohol to help a family member with a disease, can’t you ask them to give up ice cream?

It’s not like they can never have ice cream, just as you could still go out for a wine after work. They just can’t bring large containers of ice cream home.

Like I said, it is not a totally equivalent comparison, but I think you understand my point.

All images and videos on Pixabay are released under the Creative Commons CC0. Thus, they may be used freely for almost any purpose – even commercially and in printed format. Attribution is appreciated, but not required.

September 26, 2018

All images from LoseIt are mine, and cannot be used without permission.

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. Follow his Facebook page to learn how to better use social media. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen.

We plan our work days and work weeks months in advance. We keep our calendars with us at all times. In the “old days” we used paper day planners (remember the big “Franklin planners”?) Now all of our calendars are on every digital device we have.

Why?

It’s because we are busy! We have so many demands on our time that trying to remember everything is a guaranteed way to forget something–and it probably won’t be a minor “to do” list item. Our time is precious and limited. Our time budget is not infinite and once a minute is gone, it is gone for good Most of us know how we are going to spend almost every waking minute.

So why are we so flippant about our calorie budget? We log our food. (Sometimes.) We measure our food. (Sometimes.) We weigh ourselves and take action based on the scale. (Sometimes.)

I think it is because weight loss is something that can be started over. And over. (How many times have you started over?)

So start making decisions earlier! Preplan your meals, just as you preplan your work week. And have a decision on how you will handle the unexpected situation, such as the totally-expected “Hey, it’s my birthday so have some donuts!”

And at home, take pre-emptive strikes. Purge all tempting food and then don’t bring it back in. If it isn’t in the house, it’s harder to “accidentally” eat it.

All images and videos on Pixabay are released under the Creative Commons CC0. Thus, they may be used freely for almost any purpose – even commercially and in printed format. Attribution is appreciated, but not required.

Transparency. This is what I ate.

All images from LoseIt are mine, and cannot be used without permission.

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. Follow his Facebook page to learn how to better use social media. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen.

All images and videos on Pixabay are released under the Creative Commons CC0. Thus, they may be used freely for almost any purpose – even commercially and in printed format. Attribution is appreciated, but not required.

All images from LoseIt are mine, and cannot be used without permission.

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. Follow his Facebook page to learn how to better use social media. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen.

Most people think “I know who I am, and how I communicate” but it’s also common that we don’t realize how other people see and hear us. Personally, I communicate directly, clearly and I don’t sugar-coat anything. I think that’s simple, plain and easy to understand.

But depending on who I’m dealing with, it can seem arrogant, bossy, and demanding.

The same message can have more than one feeling.

So, how does that affect weight loss? Depending on your style, you may or may not have more success with different diet plans.

D people (like me) and C people are able to self-power through weight loss. “C” people find graphs, charts and very detailed and specific diet plans to work best. “D” people set personal goals and use inner-focus to drive forward, but may frequently change plans if success is not found. D and C people are focused on the task of weight loss.

I and C people are social people. “I” people are the cheerleaders of weight loss and find the best success when helping others find success. “S” people work best in group settings, and find comfort in following established guidelines, especially if the guidelines (rules) do not change often. I and S people focus on the society of weight loss.

I hope you take that exam I included in the link above. When you know your style, maybe it will influence your choice of weight loss methods. For example:

D: Be your own leader. Set goals and then focus completely on those goals. Become a coach to someone else, but not the cheerleader. This is best in a 1 on 1 setting. Hold your student accountable, but give him/her suggestions for improvement. (When D’s do this, they tend to follow their own advice.)

I: Lead a group, such as Weight Watchers or TOPS so that you can encourage and inspire a group, and use the group’s energy to motivate yourself. Or post inspirational messages on an online group.

S: Join that Weight Watcher or TOPS group. Or get active in an online group so that you can work with others who share your challenges. Find a method of weight loss that has concrete and objective rules, such as WW, Nutrisystem or any “named” diet.

C: Set your goals, but in a series of intermediate goals. Create a graph or spreadsheet tracking your progress. Find a strict and clearly defined weight loss plan (Keto, Paleo, or Intermittent Fasting) so that you know exactly what to do each meal.

There is no one “right” type. We all have a dominant style with other styles also present, but to a lesser degree. Maybe you are a D/C or a C/S. (The only combos that do not happen are D/S and C/I). And we all are able to use D, I, S, or C when needed. It’s just that we all have communication types that are easiest.

When we know ourselves–and how other people see us–we can sometimes use our strengths to help ourselves and others.

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. Follow his Facebook page to learn how to better use social media. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen!

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. And you can read his really nice, contemplative blog. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen!

In the previous episode, part 1 of a 2 part show, we talked about factors beyond the dinner plate that make our weight problems worse. In Part 2 we will talk about how to adapt our lives so that we are able to reach out goals and yet not completely upend our lives and those who live with us.

Yes, you can eat at a family feast, be happy, enjoy delicious foods and still make progress on your weight loss goals!

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. And you can read his really nice, contemplative blog. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen!

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. And you can read his really nice, contemplative blog. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen.

What are you going to wear to work? What are you going to eat for breakfast? Which route are you taking to work? Where are you eating for lunch? What project are you taking care of first?

How many decisions do you make before arriving home? And then you need to decide: What is on the menu for dinner? Not only that, but what are you going to eat that is healthy and will help you make progress to your weight loss goal?

You make many decisions each day. Let’s talk about making decisions when it will give you the greatest chance of success!

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voice-over work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. And you can read his really nice, contemplative blog. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen!

When was the last time you thought that? Maybe you have even shouted it, as you reach for a second donut at the office, or into that bag of dark chocolate covered almonds for the second—third?—time that evening?

We all want more willpower. But what is it?

Willpower is the ability to force yourself to do things that you really do not want to do. You are using the force of your mind to override what your emotions, habits, environment and peers want you to do.

Willpower is strong. Willpower will help you accomplish tasks that are unpleasant, or difficult, or contrary to your personal preferences. Willpower will help you reach deadlines. Willpower will make you look like a superman!

And you can run out of willpower.

Why? It is so frustrating. You would think that the closer to your end goal, and the longer your chain of successes, the easier it will be to power through to the end. But how many of you pick a goal, make a lot of progress and then stumble, fall, and never get up?

It happens. It is happening to me, right now. Last week we talked about being stuck, and how to un-mire ourselves. That isn’t my problems right now. Nope, right now, I am running out of willpower. I simply don’t want to keep fighting the weight battle. And it’s more than that, I don’t want to keep doing anything.

What happened to me? I’m Coach T! I help everyone find more success…and yet I’m telling you that my only desire is to plant my butt in my recliner and watch Game of Thrones.

What’s wrong with this picture?

According to Baumeister and Tierny (2012) in their book “Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength” willpower is not supplied infinitely. The more you use your mind to override your habits and preferences, the less you have and the harder it is to keep “powering on.” When you are on a weight loss journey, you are required to make constant decisions using willpower. Every day, for the entire journey, you need to make the same decision. Eat or not eat? Even if you pack a lunch (as I do) there will always be temptations around. Maybe someone brings a box of donuts to the office. Maybe you smell popcorn when you go to the gas station to pay for tank of gas. It might be the sight of pizza, or burgers, or chicken, in a television commercial.

Maybe your goal is to write a book. You have been working on this for months. You average 1000 words a day. When you sit down at your computer, you want to write a day’s worth of words….but you notice those dirty dishes. Or you check your email. Or you watch a dozen cute kitten videos on YouTube. You don’t plan to procrastinate the day away, but your ability to override your curiosity (or bad habits) is not strong enough.

Many things can happen to derail you off your planned path. Let’s look at some of the more common causes.

Are you bored?

Are you depressed?

Are you under stress (outside of this goal?)

Are you ill or injured?

Now that you are making progress, did you decide that the goal is not worth the effort?

Let’s look at the first three, because they are connected. Boredom, depression, and stress are all emotional responses to our current situation. How we address each is based on the source of that feeling.

Boredom might signify that your goal is not challenging enough. If your goal is weight loss, and you find yourself bored, you might need to make a change. Maybe you can change your menu for a while. Try a vegetarian—or vegan—diet for a month or two. Maybe you need to find a new cookbook, a new regional cuisine and make three new recipes a week. Maybe you divert from weight loss as your primary goal and switch to a fitness goal. (You can train for a half marathon, or a century bicycle ride.) Maybe simply adding a new activity, like swimming or yoga will be enough to give you a new appreciation for this goal.

Depression is powerful but can come on very subtly. Find a trusted confidante and talk about it. Maybe when you verbalize your feelings to someone, you can start to face the problem. I’m not talking necessarily seeing a counselor, but a good friend can sometimes be just enough of a listening ear. Sometime (at least for me) I find that when I talk to my wife about my problems, solutions seem to suddenly become more obvious. That does not guarantee improved results, but it does sometimes open my eyes to new possibilities.

External stress is tough. Maybe it’s the job, or the family. Maybe you are overcommitted to local groups and people. We all have only 24 hours in a day, and getting up earlier isn’t always the solution. Maybe you need to reduce obligations, and set boundaries. I try to never look at email after 7pm every evening. I have yet to read an email that arrives in the evening that could not have waited until the morning. And sometimes those late night emails only serve to add to our baseline stress. Set limits. And carve out time for yourself and your family. You—and they—need that as much and more likely more than your employer.

Illness and injury play a major role in this, and in looking at my situation, I think that is a major part of my problem. My knees are shot. I am less than 4 weeks from planned bilateral total knee replacement surgery. They hurt. All the time. From the time I awaken, to the moment I fall asleep. I can take narcotic painkillers to reduce the pain but it never goes away. That constant physical and mental stressor saps a lot of internal strength. When I get place in a position where I need to make a good decision, sometimes I just don’t.

It’s not that I don’t know the right decision. It’s that the amount of mental and emotional energy needed to make that decision is just beyond my capacity right now. And believe me, that lack of decision-making frustrates me more than you would believe!

What if you no longer want your goal? That happens. For a while, I had the beginning of a business plan for a brewpub (brewery and restaurant.) I had a floor plan sketched out, a menu, and beer recipes all planned out. I had a few buildings in mind. I only lacked the funds, and I knew several business bankers that might have been in a position to help me.

And then I started thinking about the long term. Yes, I love cooking, and I love brewing beer. Without being over-egotistical, I am good at both. But did I really want to commit myself to that job, day after day? Did I want to put myself in a position where my ability to improvise, to create meals and beers using new ingredients, making changes every time to find something a little better, is stifled because the restaurant and brewery demand consistency?

Did I want to buy a job? Because until—and if—that business became successful, I would be committed to working every aspect of it. Every day. Without vacation.

Was my love of cooking and brewing strong enough to overcome those challenges?

The answer was “no.” And when I finally came to that realization, I immediately had more enjoyment when cooking and brewing, because now I was doing it for the love of it, not because I was preparing for the business of it.

My goal had changed. It was not sudden, but after more than six years of tinkering with the plan, my excitement waned. And I am lucky! Can you imagine if my excitement had lasted long enough to start the business, only to find the monotony of consistency killing my joy?

It is possible that your willpower has dissipated because you subconsciously realize you no longer believe your goal is work the effort. And if that is the case, don’t fret about it. We all change over time. Just try to find another goal worthy of your efforts.

Okay. Now we know common reasons for our willpower to weaken. That’s great. But what are we going to do about it?

Willpower is used when two or more choices are given to you, and usually one of the choices has a greater immediate appeal (the taste of that double scoop of ice cream) over the alternative (go home and eat a yogurt or an apple.) That makes sense because if the “correct” choice was also the preferred choice, you would not need willpower, right?

Since decisions frequently integrate willpower, how can we reduce our total decisions in a day? We can plan and automate our life to reduce choice overload. In other words, we stop putting ourselves in positions where we need to decide.

Going back to the “Willpower” book, the authors suggest that reducing the number of choices we make will allow us to make better decisions. The best way of reducing decisions is to make them when our willpower tank is still full. Decide in advance!

I like to plan my meals in advance. Using my LoseIt app, I can log all my foods one or more days in advance. In doing so, I do not need to think about what I want to eat, I simply look at what I have already logged. Many times that is enough to keep me on the right path, but not always. I will admit it: sometimes I make choices that are not in my long term best interests.

So I enhance that pre-deciding by working together with my wife, so that we have both decided on daily menus. That way, if one of us seems to be slipping, we can help reinforce our decision. Working on lifelong goals is easier if you are not alone.

Something else we do together is grocery shopping. Oh, usually I am the one who actually walks the stores and buys the foods, but after we plan out meals for the next 7-10 days, we create a very specific shopping list. I buy only what we need to make the foods we want to eat. That way, my only decisions are which brand of each item I will buy. (And frequently, I use another question by using “which item has the lowest sodium content” as my deciding factor.)

When we have our meals planning in advance, and I only buy the foods I need, that greatly limits my options, and removes some of the mealtime decisions.

I talk about “5 Secret Tricks” of weight loss where I go into greater detail on how to plan ahead for weight loss success in my episode at MYST/5Tricks

Okay, so you know all about planning ahead. But still, even I fall victim to poor choices. So what else can we do?

Another great book by Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit” (2014) where the author talks about how habits can cause problems, but we can also use our ability to create habits for positive results. A habit is nothing more than a response to a stimulus, repeated often enough that we can take that act without thinking.

How many of you drive a manual transmission car? I remember learning, and it was painful. At first. I shifted too early, or too late. I let the clutch out too fast, or too slow. I was terrible.

Until I had driven for a while. After a few weeks (maybe not even that long) I had learned how to shift based on the sound of the engine without thinking. I learned that in 1985. I hadn’t driven a stick shift since 1998, but I recently borrowed a friend’s car and drove it with hesitation. Habits don’t go away easily.

What about the habit of distractions? When you are trying to write your book, but see nothing but everything else that you need to do? How can we break that habit? Well, with a combination of planning and habit creation.

Let’s say you work at home. Make a new habit. Before you even turn your computer on, or open your legal pad, you make a circuit through the house. Any small task that you can complete in less than 5 minutes (for any given task) do it immediately. That may mean taking care of the dishes, or folding a basket of laundry, or making the beds. Whatever the tasks, they are small but distracting. Create your new habit:

Stimulus: Plan to write

Action: Take care of small distractors

Response: Sit down and complete your writing assignment

But when you are clearing those small tasks, you will certainly find things that need to be completed that will take longer than five minutes. That is when you implement the “Decide in Advance” model and create a schedule. For example, maybe you pre-decide that after a five page minimum, as soon as you seem to hit a sticking point that is when you will take the dog for a 20-30 minute walk. By leaving the trigger open ended, you are not creating an arbitrary time to walk your dog. It could be that after five pages you discover that you found a very smooth rhythm. Stopping because of an arbitrary time signal could ruin the flow of thoughts. But by setting a minimum threshold, you guarantee some productivity before you take your first major pre-planned distraction. (And going for a 20-30 minute walk may be exactly what you need to recharge your creative center.)

After the walk (or whatever your task was) return to your previous assignment, and again, stop when you have reached a stagnant spot after hitting that minimum trigger level, and go on another pre-planned task.

This creates the habit of clearing the simple distractions, and building in escape route when your creativity dissipates.

What about eating habits? You will need to find an acceptable alternative to your trigger foods, and using the pre-decision model, you will either buy your foods in small single serving portions or you will repackage them after you bring them home. Yes, that will either cost more in money or time, but you will benefit in the long run. One of my triggers is potato chips. I can’t leave an open bag alone. An open bag will rapidly become an empty bag. So I only buy chips in single serving sized bags. When I find that I need chips (which is rare, as long as the bag is sealed) I can go outside (to the storage shelves in the garage) and bring in the one bag that is on the shelf. I can get my “chip fix” but it is self-limited.

Actually, that habit is also from Brian Wansink’s “Slim by Design: Mindless Eating Solution for Everyday Life” (2014) because it requires that I not walk to the kitchen, but out to the garage and that extra walk is usually enough to let me reconsider my actions.

When my wife and I drive somewhere (and the drive is more than an hour in duration) we always pack a travel bag of healthy snacks. We created that habit because otherwise we would stop for gas or coffee and end up buying the immediately available foods (which are rarely good choices). We drive from Green Bay Wisconsin, to Boston Massachusetts, to Maine, Ontario and home one summer. We covered more than 3200 miles, and we always had our snack bag in our car. We were able to maintain good control because we A) pre-decided our snacks and B) created the habit of packing our snacks.

We all need to make good decisions, every day. But if we use a little planning, we will be able to make fewer decisions especially later in the day when our willpower well is almost empty. And when we plan ahead, we can circumvent our old habits and lay down a new habit pathway.

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Some links (but not all) within these show notes may be Affiliate Links, meaning that I may receive a small commission when readers click on them and then purchase something. This does not increase your cost at all, but it does help me cover some of the cost associated with this podcast. Thanks!

Voiceover courtesy of Matt Young. Matt is a professional voiceover artist. If you have any need of voiceover work, for your podcast, radio spot, or whatever, you can reach Matt by a variety of methods. He is on LinkedIn. On Twitter. And Google+. And you can read his really nice, contemplative blog. Matt was also my guest on MYST 54. Give his story a listen!