If only we could read our cat's mind, what would he be thinking?

Bandit, a male, domestic shorthair, is about 10 years old.Courtesy of The Buddy Foundation

This pretty female, domestic shorthair is Cupcake, who is about 10 years old.Courtesy of The Buddy Foundation

By Mary HayashiThe Buddy Beat

When we watch our felines in action and observe their silly antics, sometime it is difficult to understand what motivates them.

I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that their behavior is for my benefit and for my entertainment. Don't you wish they could tell us what they are thinking? Perhaps it would not be so favorable for us. Maybe our behavior is as puzzling to them as they are to us.

Let us look at our behavior from the cat's perspective. It might go something like this ...

We love to play on the top of the stairs. You ask why? We love to dart and weave through your legs when you are at the top of the stairs. It might be funny to see you fall down the steps. This would be the only time you would be faster than us.

In case you have not figured it out, we do this as a team. One of us approaches from the front and the other brings up the rear. In case you haven't noticed, those fuzzy mice you keep buying are left on the stairs on purpose to help us with the task at hand.

The wand toys are hauled up the stairs for added measure. By the way, why do you buy those dangling toys that do not have any food at the other end?

Speaking of food, I smell fresh chicken, steak and fish cooking daily, but my meals are reduced to this dry stuff that looks like bad cereal. Sometimes it has too much food coloring and it's hard to choke down. If these arrangements do not improve, revenge will be plotted. Let's see, there is the new chair to attack, or perhaps another houseplant must meet its maker.

We also love when you say you are confining us to one room for our own good. We're not stupid. You put us in solitary confinement for punishment. Do you think we can't hear all the noise of revelry and good food smells right under our noses.

You also vaguely mentioned something about allergies. This sounds like a good power to have over humans. We need to figure out how to use this to our advantage. More importantly, we need to exact more revenge for this solitary confinement. A hair ball needs to be carefully place at the foot of the bed in the middle of the night.

Lastly, the rest of nonhuman occupants of the house are either half-witted, clueless or tattles. The dog is let out multiple times a day and happily returns with his tail wagging and his tongue slobbering. What is he telling them about me?

If you ask me, the bird is the true informant because he is alway talking to the humans, and even has his own house.

Now you know why we felines must gang up on the humans. We see the world differently than all of the rest of the household occupants.

Annual Flea Market/Rummage Sale: It's time again for Buddy's annual sale, which will be from 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Thursday, June 13, and Friday June 14; and 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday, June 15, and Sunday, June 16, at 17 E. Campbell St., in Arlington Heights, which is the old Tascano site.

Only clean and usable items can be accepted. Donations needed include glassware, pictures, antiques, collectibles, sporting goods, baby items, tools, furniture, small appliances, garden items and plants. No computers will be accepted.

• The Buddy Foundation is a nonprofit (501c3), all volunteer, no-kill animal shelter dedicated to the welfare of stray, abused, and abandoned cats and dogs. For information, call (847) 290-5806 or visit thebuddyfoundation.org.