Opinion

Right before checking into an insane asylum, I hit the open road.
Some people meditate. Contort themselves into yoga pretzels and sailors’ knots in an effort to relieve stress.
I drive.
Sanity, for me, is found in the silence behind the steering wheel.
Both my hands grip the wheel at 10 and 2, freeing my mind to wander into the dark corners of things I don’t want to and need to think about.

My dogs are city slickers.
There, as painful as it is to admit, I’ve said it.
Me? Uh-uh. No way. I’m not a city slicker and, despite some recent unsettling realizations to the contrary, I can prove it.
It became obvious that my dogs had succumbed to city life when I visited a local farm during my never-ending quest to find the perfect place to hunt deer. (Fact: City slickers don’t hunt, although some of the posers will occasionally wear camouflage.)

When it comes to young people these days (as I wave my metaphorical cane at the hooligans of tomorrow), we squash dreams in order to snuff out the potential for entitlement. Spare their feelings, spoil the child.
Want to be an astronaut? Talk to NASA about sending another shuttle into space.
Want to be a ballerina? The odds are definitely not in your favor.
Despite the odds, students who dream of doing bigger, better things have something in common — passion.

Column as I see ’em …
Ever considered smoking some meth or snorting a little oxy?
I haven’t, and aside from a desire to avoid being a junky there’s one major reason why: I’m petrified of ending up in jail.
Until the past couple of years, I had the misguided, or perhaps naïve, notion that hard drugs like meth, coke or prescription pills would lead to a decade or two behind bars.

This year Anderson County High School juniors took the ACT test. This is the third year that the scores have been consistently leveling out at 18.3, which is below the national average of 21.1, and the state composite scores of 18.8.
Other counties have scored higher than Anderson. Some of those are Franklin at 19, Spencer at 18.7, and Shelby at 18.7.

It was a day like any other workday.
I woke up around 6 and was messing around the house, getting ready . . . and the phone rings.
“Something’s wrong with your daddy,” Mama said.
After talking to her a few seconds, I found out he was hurting in his back. I could hear him over the phone, groaning. She had already called my younger brother, Bertram, who lives up the road from them.
“I’ll call an ambulance,” I said and hung up.
After calling 911, I called her back and Bertram was there.

Column as I see ’em …
It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that judge-elect John Wayne Conway gave his opponent in November’s election the heave-ho as highway supervisor.
Chip Chambers, who opposed Conway, didn’t exactly endear himself to the cagy political veteran by posting numerous videos on his website that picked apart Conway’s 20 years as a magistrate.

I have no idea why. Were I able to predict future events, instead of using this keyboard to pound out words I’d be using it to trade stocks and futures while eating pork chops and sipping tea on a tropical island.

I’m taking this opportunity to thank the many kind people who have opened doors for us during this campaign for the Nov. 2 general election.

Now I’d like to ask a question: If computers, Facebook, YouTube and Topix could be weighed on the left hand, and experience, common sense, honesty and integrity could be weighed on the right, which hand would get your vote?

The right hand will get my vote every time. I consider [judge-executive candidate] John Wayne Conway to be that right hand.

We get so much information nowadays about staying healthy, some great, life-saving as a matter of fact. But do you ever feel so completely bombarded with so many day-to-day health tips from TV, the internet, magazines and even well-meaning friends, that it seems a bit much?

Last Wednesday, I had the pleasure of meeting Maralyn Lewis and her mother, Ammiegail Simpson.

Maralyn is 8 years old with curly red hair, pale skin and a beautiful smile.

While we talked, I discovered that Maralyn loves watching shows on Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel. She also loves to sing and wants to be a singer when grows up so she can buy a house with chandeliers and get her mother a maid.

Will someone please quit winding the clock? Time is moving way too fast. It’s almost October, though you couldn’t much tell it by the weather we’re having now.

I brought out the Old Farmer’s Almanac to see what was forecast for October. On the plus side, it calls for 2.5 inches of rain. Rain showers, mixed with warm and sunny days, make up most of the month. One exciting note for the 21st through the 29th is snow showers. Kind of hard to imagine that right now.

It’s good to know that in these days of state employees being forced to endure pay cuts couched as furloughs that the governor’s office has the wherewithal to import a nurse from Anderson County to give Steve Beshear his annual flu shot.

Reports are that last Friday the county’s health director and one of its nurses traveled to Beshear’s office to make sure the flu bug doesn’t bite him.

It’s like having our own personal drive-in screen, with a different show every night.

Fall officially arrives tomorrow and I hope we have some leaves left on the trees. Rain would help.

I was doing a little math the other day, adding up the recorded rain we’ve had, as recorded by the National Weather Service. They say we’ve had over 23 inches, since the beginning of May. My Oregon Weather Station tells me I’ve had just under 16 inches here on the farm, in the same time period. It’s dry.