A new sort of Christmas tree

For those of us who dread buying a live Christmas tree only to watch it slowly shrivel up, the city’s Department of the Environment and Friends of the Urban Forest are offering an alternative.

You can temporarily adopt a potted tree destined for San Francisco’s sidewalks, medians and parks. After the holidays, the tree will be picked up from your house and nurtured until it grows tall enough to be planted.

There are two small catches. First, San Francisco would look sort of ridiculous with a bunch of Noble firs lining Market Street, so the tree choices are decidedly un-pine-like. You also have to pay $90. Oh, c’mon — it’s a fundraiser.

Mei Ling Hui from the Environment Department said the four tree choices will be a Tristania, a little gem magnolia, a strawberry tree (no, it won’t grow the fruit), or an olive tree (alas, also no fruit).

Granted, it might seem odd to pile gifts under a tiny magnolia tree. But Hui said you can decorate them. Last year she was in charge of the office tree and tied on some ribbons, she said. They’ll also support some lightweight globes as long as you don’t pile them on, she said.

Supplies are limited so you must register online at sfenvironment.org/greenchristmas. The trees can be picked up starting Dec. 7 at Civic Center Plaza or later at the Friends of the Urban Forest’s offices.

And if city workers come to pick up your tree and also spy a dying conifer, they won’t judge you. We have their word on it.