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Tag Archives: Chad Ochocinco

word

soporific [sop-uh–rif-ik, soh-puh-] adj.1. causing or tending to cause sleep 2. pertaining to or characterized by sleep or sleepiness; sleepy; drowsy ∞n.3. something that causes sleep, as a medicine or drug

standpoint

Most everyone I know makes fun of Twitter. And, mostly, I get what they’re saying. It’s confusing to navigate if you don’t take the time to learn how to streamline, which I have. The trick of it is to be selective about who you follow. If you follow everyone who follows you, you’re bound to have a Twitter homepage that makes about as much sense if it was in Russian. (Unless you understand Russian, and then just pick another language, one you’re unfamiliar with.)

So what I’ve made two rules about Twitter. (1) I follow people I know. (2) I follow famous people I find interesting.

Below, I’m going to list 5 people who fall into the second category and an example of one of their typical tweets.

1. Chad OchoCinco (OGOchoCinco) – Before Twitter, I never really cared for the guy. But unless he’s putting on one hell of a show, he seems to be a good dude. TWEET:For those who take life and my twitter feed so serious please unfollow-this is for those who think n live outside the box-OCCN INC.

2. Mike Doughty (MikeDoughtyYeah) – One of my favorite musicians, turns out the guy is a good writer too. TWEET:If you’re gonna get angry in the grocery store line, perhaps a city of 10 million people is not for you.

3. Josh Malina (JoshMalina) – The veteran actor actually found me on Twitter after I made a snide comment about him appearing on some kid show I’ve since forgotten the name of. He took it well. TWEET:It’s spooky, the extent to which Taylor Swift is telling my story through her songs.

4. Michael Ian Black (michaelianblack) – One of the funniest people on the planet. TWEET:“Everything I do, I do it for you.” Even take a shit, Bryan Adams? Even take a SHIT?

5. Chuck Klosterman (CKlosterman) – Come on. You didn’t think I was going to leave him off the list, did you? TWEET:These Dominos employees need thicker skins. That focus group really got to them!

There’s plenty more I follow and, no need to worry, I’ll probably do this again sometime soon. How about you? Got any favorites on Twitter?

quotation

I understand Barack Obama. It is not always easy, but I do. I can even relate to him. Of course, we weren’t supposed to need to. He was supposed to be above that. He was never supposed to be an everyman, and never pretended to be. He transcended beer tests, barbecue tests, and the rest – the tests of whether he was “likable” enough as a politician. It didn’t matter whether I wanted to have a beer with him or not, and nobody asked. He was Barack Obama. What he represented was much larger than any individual, even himself. It is not necessarily a good thing that I’ve come to understand him. But I do. ↔ Tom Junod

WORD

verbiage [vur-bee-ij] n.1.overabundance or superfluity of words, as in writing or speech; wordiness; verbosity 2. manner or style of expressing something in words; wording: a manual of official verbiage

STANDPOINT

Currently, my car horn is damaged. It doesn’t work right. The noise sounds like it might if I was honking it after driving into the deep end of a pool.

It’s pretty ineffective. And the reason why is simple: in my car the horn has been subject to the most use. More than the gas pedal. More than the turn signal. More than the stereo.

During an average 30-minute drive, I’d estimate I employ my horn at least 10-15 times. While you may think that’s overdoing it, you’ll have to forgive me if I disagree. I’m holding myself back. On some drives, I feel like I could lay on the goddam horn from beginning to end.

Some people call this “road rage.” It’s one of those popular terms people love to throw around. But I’m not angry. Well, not the majority of the time. Mainly, I just want people to know they’re fucking up out there on the road. You’re inconveniencing everyone else by driving like Stevie Wonder on heroin.

You see, like all things in our society, everyone feels like they’ve got the right of way. But, in this instance, they’re all taking it quite literally. And it sucks.

I drive like I was taught. Eyes on the road. Aware of my surroundings. I’m basically the best driver you’ll ever meet. I’ve only been in two accidents ever. Neither were my fault. Despite what SEPTA‘s official position was on the first one.

In any case, I’m simply asking everyone out there to drive like they’ve got a brain. Use your turn signal, know where you’re going, get off your fucking cell phone and, most importantly, stay out of my way.

QUOTATION

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. → Jack Handey

→ The new John Cusack movie, 2012, comes out this Friday. Does anyone else think this movie looks like everyone on Earth running for their lives? Christ, when’s Hollywood going to bust out of this? Everything new coming out, including all the inane kid stuff, is either about avoiding the end of the world or humanity’s inability to avoid it.

NOTE: There may not be a new post tomorrow as I’ve dinner plans tonight.