#March2016

The PlayStation VR bundle is going to run $500, but it’s actually a good goddamn deal. Good enough to get me to adopt a technology I don’t really want, and quietly fear? No. But for anyone looking to get into the game, it seems well-priced as fuck.

Phew! I was worried I was going to impulse buy an Oculus Rift. Would have really cheesed off my wife, and probably not been used very much. Well! The price for the rig has been revealed to be $600, which makes it even too rich for my economically irresponsible ass (for the moment).

Apple seems to be fancying themselves some augmented reality! I mean, they probably fancy something everything technological. But still. The company has bought Faceshift, which is a group that helped out on Star Wars‘ motion capture. Now it’s just a matter of time before they unleash iReality on the world.

It ain’t going to be cheap getting into the Metaverse, friends. But then again, who suspected it would be? The Rift is coming, it’s launching (soon), and it is pricing itself out of the range of the casual folk. Which is to be expected at first, right?

Finally! We know a pseudo-date for when we will be able to buy our Oculus Rifts. Don our haptic bodysuits. And bang one another in a virtual bathrub while the Kool-Aid man urinates delicious drink all over us! Next year!

‘Cause everybody is down with a fucking virtual-reality-augmented-reality-altered-reality-something-reality headset of their own these days. Microsoft’s iteration is more holodeck than it is virtual reality. And like Oculus Rift and all the others it seems cool enough, yeah, okay, but I’m not dying to own one.

MAKE MINE SNOW CRASH, YA FUCKS! Neal Stephenson has joined an augmented-reality company as their fucking Chief Futurist. And it doesn’t lead to me hanging out in the Black Sun, it’s a colossal fucking disappointment.

Google Glass! You poor sack of shit! You were cool for like nine minutes! But then Oculus Rift rolled up and nabbed the attention you were garnering. Pulled down your pants, dismissively flicked your beans, and then stole your bae. But apparently you ain’t taking this laying-lying-laying down. No! You sure ain’t, and 2015 is going to be your year. With your buddy Intel helpin’ out.

I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.