It’s a Gas!

In April 1997, there was a “gas out“ conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices.Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all myspace members are asked to not go to a gas station in protest ofhigh gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the myspace network, and theaverage car takes about 20 to 30 dollars to fill up.

If all myspace members did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,200,000,000.00 (that’s BILLION) out of the oil companys pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldnt) repost this bulletin repost it with ‘Don’t pump gas on May 15th’

Rooiiiight. I don’t agree. Let’s see why I wouldn’t:

In April 1997, there was a “gas out“ conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

OK, first of all: No. The price of gas did not drop 30 cents overnight because of a “gas out” in 1997, nor in any other year. Show me the article reporting this. Google and the world are at your fingertips. For example, the first results page of an easy search for “april 1997 ‘gas out'” contains only sites about how no such event occured and one from Indiana State Representative Vernon Smith who’s encouraging his constituents to take part (complete with false information!).

Come on, people. I know copying and pasting and clicking “Forward” or “Post Bulletin” has tired you out, but before you take your nap, click a little more. As they say in Missouri: “You’re full of crap.”

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the myspace network

Yes, the millions of MySpace users (actually 177 as of this writing). There are no doubt (and depressingly) lots of us. There are not, however, that many. Let’s take into account al the fake spam profiles, the bands, the old accounts of people who have created new accounts, the cartoon character profiles, etc. I’m not doubting the power of the MySpace population; I’m only saying there’s no basis for using the number in you “extended network” to start figuring alarming statistics. Plus,

the average car takes about 20 to 30 dollars to fill up.

How many MySpace users are under 16? How many don’t have cars? I suspect I’m not the only one. I also suspect that the “average car” mentioned here, and it’s “20 to 30 dollars” were made up on the spot.

If all myspace members did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,200,000,000.00 (that’s BILLION) out of the oil companys pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

Umm, how many of these people, assuming they have a car and pay for their own gas, were actually planning on filling up on Tuesday? Are Tuesdays really hot gasoline days? I haven’t driven in a while; do gas stations only open on Tuesdays now? If you didn’t get gas on Tuesday, am I playing right into Big Oil’s hands by suggesting you would fill up on… Monday? Or, even – God forbid – Wednesday?!

This one doesn’t have my favorite part that I’ve seen in a lot of others: “If you don’t understand the math, don’t worry. MY friend’s dog’s cousin is a MATHMATITIAN at HARVARD at he ran the numbers. It checks out.” Yes, thank god we have the apocryphal Harvard professor to multiply 73 million by $30 for us. Gawrsh, I never wuz no good at werd probems. I would be much more convinced if an imaginary economist gave this scheme the OK.

If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldnt) repost this bulletin repost it with ‘Don’t pump gas on May 15th [July 23, November 1, or whichever other day someone arbitrarily chooses when they decide to dredge this up every few months]’

Every time I see one of these I’m filled with spite and dismay. This particular one came from someone who I didn’t think was stupid. And I still don’t think they’re stupid. That’s where a lot of the dismay comes in.

On the one hand, the way I think, all of my commentary above occurs to me almost immediately as I read one of these. Of course not getting gas for one day makes literally no difference to anyone unless you actually use less gas (of which there is no suggestion), because you’ll just get gas another day. It’s like exhorting everyone to hold off having a bowel movement on a certain day to protest high plumbing costs. The companies know, one way or another, they’re going to get what they want.

Then you add in the fuzzy math (to put it nicely) and the whole thing is just laughable. I mean, even if I couldn’t quite figure out why this made no sense, it doesn’t take much to find someone who knows.

But on the other hand, I’ve probably seen at least ten of these over the last few years, which means people are still believing and circulating them. And that, despite the fact that they’ve certainly seen them before and noticed that they had no effect. I can only assume they assume that it didn’t reach enough people, or there was a conspiracy to prevent its success. I don’t know.

The troubling fact is, not everyone thinks like me. And, the more troubling fact (the one I can’t quite grasp yet) is, that’s OK. I mean, in this case, I’m clearly right. The “gas out” plans are stupid and useless. I think I’m also right to be skeptical of everything you receive as an email forward or MySpace bulletin. But my way of thinking rarely makes me happy (other than the smug satisfaction I derive from being correct). Logic serves me well for logical things, but a lot of seemingly illogical people appear to have a lock on the truly illogical aspects of life, and those are the ones trouble me the most. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off the logic. Turn off the questioning. I haven’t been able to do that. Not yet, anyway.

Anyway, that being said, don’t forward these things. Don’t believe them. Don’t be an idiot.

Update: A little more searching reveals that some, not content with just MySpace, have changed the text for all internet users, yet kept the 73 million number—this time, a gross underestimate! They also arbitrarily changed the fill-up price for the “average car” to $30 to $50—amazingly, the total amount of money did not increase correspondingly. Ahh! People! You never cease to amaze me.