The Duck Dynasty Crisis continues apace, and so we bring you a couple of updates (we could go to an all-Duck Dynasty format if we wanted to, but we respect you too much for that). First off, in the great state of Alabama, state Sen. Jerry Fielding announced Monday that he’ll introduce a resolution calling on A&E network to end its oppression of Phil Robertson, who was simply stating what all good Christians believe:

“Phil Robertson’s family values are shared by the vast majority of Alabamians, who are rightfully concerned by the vitriol aimed at his Christian stance,” Fielding said in a statement. “There’s a clear double standard in the media favoring a liberal worldview. When it’s used to silence and punish Christians for stating their beliefs, that’s when we must defend the rights of individuals to exercise their free speech without fear of politically-motivated repercussion. I join thousands across Alabama and our country by standing with Phil Robertson, and urge A&E to reverse their action against him.”

It sure is nice to see a state senator who so clearly understands how the Constitution works. The resolution also calls Robertson and his stage-managed family “ambassadors of the love and grace of the Heavenly Father through their exemplary lives on and off the camera.”

The heavenly Father is, as we all know, a big fan of the days when happy blacks sang as they worked in the fields and never minded Jim Crow, because they were godly and hadn’t been corrupted by food stamps.

The people organizing the event say they are unaffiliated with either the Robertson family or the restaurant chain. They’re encouraging Robertson supporters to wear Duck Commander brand camo and go to a chain restaurant, thus proving that the liberal elites can never silence the free speech rights of Christians to condemn homos. As we have seen from several hundred million whines about poor Phil Robertson, such opinions are completely suppressed in today’s politically correct media.

We’ll keep you updated on the next important developments in this very important story. Has Phil Robertson started a campaign exploratory committee, for instance? And isn’t this all just a distraction from Benghazi/IRS/Obamacare/Fast and Furious?

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
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