I'm going to tell you a story, of a very unfortunate man,
He went to war in an" I " tank, now this man's name was Dan.

It was a cold hard day in December, and the tanks had crossed the start line,
All except one which was Dan's tank, and he crossed at zero plus nine.Now the enemy saw him coming alone, their guns fired furious and fast,
this was the first time that Dan had faced fire, and it looked like being his last.When we reached the wreckage, poor Dan's wounds flowed red,
He gazed at us grouped around him, and he softly said.Take my fingers away from the Vickers, move my feet away from the pump,
Rescue my teeth from the turret, and pick my elbow out of the sump.My arms are locked in the turret, and my eyes are swimming in oil,
My boots got blown off by that sharp shootin' toff, and me socks are wrapped round the coil.So we stripped that tank down in pieces, and removed old Dan bit by bit ,
Then some kind Jack opened a sack, and we shovelled old Dan in like s-t.There's a moral to this story, always remember when crossing the line,
Don't do the same as old Dan did but remember and be right on time. T.O.B.1997
There are two versions of this ww2 ditty, this is the clean one.