"How can so much fucking crazy be contained within a two-page interview?"

This is the question that will surely be asked by all readers of GQ's insane new Beyoncé interview, "Miss Millennium: Beyoncé," which you must read immediately so that you can spend the day reflecting on it.

For starters, GQ might as well have titled the piece "Beyoncé Beyoncé: Beyoncé," written it using only the word "Beyoncé" (and its synonym "Beyoncé"), and arranged the letters into a portrait of Beyoncé because this interview is the most Beyoncé thing that has ever occurred.

Think for a moment: what do you imagine Beyoncé is like? That's it. You nailed it. She is exactly as you imagine her, only MORE that way.

You want proof?

In her "sleek office suite in midtown Manhattan," Beyoncé maintains a Beyoncé-themed competitor to the Library of Congress. "The official Beyoncé archive, a temperature-controlled digital-storage facility" contains, in addition to video of every show she's ever performed, every interview she's ever recorded, and "thousands of hours of private footage," "virtually every existing photograph of her, starting with the very first frames taken of Destiny's Child."

Since 2005, Beyoncé has employed a "visual director" who has shot "practically her every waking moment," for up to 16 hours a day. Imagine the super cuts that could be made from this footage: a solid forty minutes of Beyoncé flicking off light switches in Germany. An hour of Jay-Z saying "carrot."

Before making love to her husband Jay-Z, Beyoncé advises herself to listen to "Make Love to Me," probably because she works best in the literal.

She's also just straight-up fucking crazy:

"I now know that, yes, I am powerful," she says. "I'm more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand."

Yet, somehow, the fact that Beyoncé is so controlling; so Nixonian in her thorough record keeping; so dedicated to the craft of Beyoncé—only makes fans love her more.