Monday, March 21, 2011

giving thanks

"...always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20

I remember well the first time this scripture really sprang from the page and was written all over my heart. And really, it kind of got all over me, and I wasn't sure why. Just weeks earlier Dad had died, and I just could not wrap my mind around "always giving thanks...for everything" in a season of why's and deep hurt and the intense missing. But the verse just keep after me.

Soon, I discovered I was pregnant with my Ella, and Miles was yet to turn one. After the calling to my mom, crying and in shock, and after some days, I realized that this is why the verse spun around in my head like it had. It began a work in my heart. It began the long process of teaching me to "always give thanks...for everything." {A process that continues today.} I quickly became thankful for my unexpected gift {being pregnant}, because of life growing inside, and life to look forward to. I saw, not unlike Job although with much less catastrophe, that He gives and takes away. And finally, finally, after a long time, learned to be thankful even for my dad's death. How? Thankful that his suffering ended by the most wonderful healing possible, healing at Home. Thankful that his striving could cease. Thankful to have had him in the first place. Thankful because God makes good come from bad and turns ashes into beauty and turns sorrow into joy. Yes, thanks be to God.

It's not easy, this "always giving thanks...for everything," and so I am reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts to find some encouragement in the trying. I was planning to read the entire book and then start writing my own list of gifts. Enter the sewing of the Easter dresses, the schooling, the decisions, the every day whatever and I have not finished the book. I'm determined to pick it up again, actually in just a few minutes, but I no longer want to wait to begin my list. I have no reason to wait to be thankful. If I learn to look for them, there are gifts all around, every day.

So as I keep reading, I'll start writing:

Freckles reemerging on little cheeks and noses.

The hard-working man, sitting at this moment working. He'll be up late tonight {again}.

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Kristin

I am a wife, mother of four, daughter, sister and friend. I am seeking to grow and learn through the moments and events of my life (both great and small). Any and all growth, change, strength, or shred of wisdom comes from the mercy of God through Jesus. This is my place to share and explore these great and small moments that come together to create my life.

"You are as much serving God in looking after your own children, and training them up in God's fear, and minding the house, and making your household a church for God, as you would be if you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of hosts." Charles Spurgeon