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just had a peek and yes I would have to agree with your friends the header has to go (also the new forum flickering thing got to me too!) the rest looks clean and clear

Anyway as you site is fairly clean you could just try the same approach but taking away the [] and colouring in the table (to match teh green line below) and using the rollover effect you already use but changing the whole table cell aswell - that is fairly simple but I think would like alot better.

Content vs function
Your header is for things people can read, not do. For instance, generally speaking a "search" section is more useful if it's integrated into every page as opposed to being a section all it's own.

Primary vs secondary content
Similarly things like contact, feedback, privacy policies, etc should not go in the header but in a "secondary navigation" elsewhere.

Keep links minimal
Generally 4-5 is a nice target (even sites like SitePoint with thousands of pages achieve this), but 8 should be your maximum (users cannot handle more then 10).

So, if we take your site using these BASIC rules (there are tonnes more) it'd look more like this:

-Remove home (your logo should return you home). This is a function and should be integrated into every page
-Remove headlines (you're already displaying them). To get there users would naturally read your headlines then click something like "all news"
-Remove Poll. Poll is function. It's already on the page. For old polls, have a link under your poll: old polls or archives or something
-forum stays
-banners could stay, but it doesn't seem like something people would go to your site FOR, ya know? Your header should have stuff people WANT, not something they might finda musing, generally speaking.
-Links can stay
-Guestbook could stay, but it would be better integrated into the site
-chat can stay
-Fan of the month would be better integrated into your page (www.thinkdan.com is a great example). This is "first impression" content. Something you want on your front page.
-comedy corner... Um, shouldn't banners be in here? Having gone into this section, make the images clickable as well
-helpusout/feedback... This is the same function... Integrate the two or separate them completely.