All Human Herehttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com
sharing mental health insights...Sat, 22 Jul 2017 19:49:51 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/Living with: Borderline Personality Disorderhttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/living-with-borderline-personality-disorder/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/living-with-borderline-personality-disorder/#commentsTue, 02 May 2017 10:21:32 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=622Imani Summer writes the Summer Starts to Shine blog, and she is also a Mind media volunteer and fundraiser, vlogger, and passionate mental health campaigner. All Human Here asked her to guest blog about life with a complex mental health diagnosis, and here, she shares her thoughts with us:

How did you feel when you first received your diagnosis?

On the second psychiatrist appointment I ever had, I asked her if I had Borderline Personality Disorder. She said categorically “NO”.

Fast forward eighteen months, a significant childhood abuse disclosure, and several heated arguments later and she announces she thinks I may have *traits* of BPD. Then after a particularly conflict-filled and emotionally stormy session, I notice as I glance at the letter she sent to my GP that she had upgraded me to the full bona fide disorder!

Boy, did receiving that hurtful label sting. My self-esteem, which was already minimal, crumbled to dust. I felt like a second class citizen- defective, inept, weird, judged, and almost frightened of my own self. I reasoned if my personality was so disordered, why should I even exist?

What makes you most frustrated about the misconceptions around personality disorder?

That people seem to believe someone with a personality disorder is automatically a psychopathic, selfish, low-functioning, attention-seeking and deviant manipulator, who is wilfully cruel to others and someone best avoided. That couldn’t be further from the truth!

I am warm, caring, friendly, empathic, and in many ways extremely boringly ordinary. Someone meeting me for the first time would not detect there was anything ‘off’ or ‘unpleasant’ or ‘disordered’ about me. All you will most likely notice is the intense variability and contrast in my moods at different times. But I am never nasty or malicious.

How does raising awareness help you?

I write about life with a personality disorder, both to demystify it to others who may not have heard of it, and also for my own therapy. Stephen Fry, president of UK charity Mind did wonderful things for the public social acceptability of Bipolar Disorder. I want a similar outcome for people diagnosed with a personality disorder.

Not everyone with a personality disorder is the same, we are all unique individuals with distinct gifts. I believe my gift is communication, so I use my flair for writing and communication to create meaning in an existence that otherwise would be potentially quite soul destroying in its daily challenges.

Is it always possible to be ‘well’ – or is the goal to make life with an illness or disorder more manageable and rewarding?

Recently I asked my psychologist if I still had BPD, as I felt so well. Her reply was that I will always have these characterological tendencies, but sometimes I will have to work to manage those destructive emotional symptoms far, far less than at other times. I live with a mental illness, but try and live ‘it’ as well as I can.

What people or organisations have helped you the most, and how?

My psychologist; for always knowing the exact right thing to say to diffuse my painful feelings. My husband; for lightening the seriousness of mental illness by seeing my BPD traits as “cute” and endearing. My children; for making me feel loved and alive with laughter. My healers; for connecting me to a spiritual source and a deeper sense of myself, leading me through the gloom, and Mind; for providing opportunities to do wonderful things that make life worth living.

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/living-with-borderline-personality-disorder/feed/7allhumanhereLiving with: Schizophreniahttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/18/living-with-schizophrenia/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/18/living-with-schizophrenia/#commentsTue, 18 Apr 2017 21:04:50 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=601AllHumanHere invites people to guest blog about life with a complex mental health condition. In the first of a series, Mark Ellerby (pictured above) describes life with Schizophrenia…

When did you first realise you needed to seek help?
I didn’t realise I had an illness, but my family did and it was they who suggested seeing a doctor. I told them I was hearing things when there was nobody around and they recognised this. I did not know anything about it.
With delusions, getting medical help does not seem necessary. After all, the beliefs are real and not an illness. Relatives may spot the abnormal thoughts and behaviours, and in my case I had to be sectioned before I got treated.

How would you describe the experience of living with Schizophrenia?
For me the most difficult parts are the fear it causes and the emotional pain. To understand this you have to mention the symptoms. In my case I think the CIA are after me for causing 9/11. When they capture me they are going to torture me. As you might imagine, that is frightening but there is also the emotional pain thinking that I have killed all those people.
It is in the nature of Schizophrenia that symptoms like this are system overload so it tends to get buried in the subconscious but comes back to me in the form of constant anxiety and nightmares. Sometimes the realisation of being responsible for 9/11 really does hit me like a religious revelation and the terror makes me want to commit suicide to avoid the torture.

What made you want to write your series of books?
It has been important to me to do something meaningful with my life and not give up because I have an illness. That sense of achievement has helped me develop self esteem and I have been able to get to that level of the ‘Maslow tree’ to boot. My other reasons for writing are that it will contribute to the understanding of people who don’t know about the illness – in terms of what Schizophrenia is and overcoming the pervasive stigma that surrounds it. I think people need to be more compassionate and I think that feeling comes through in my writing.

What has helped you the most with living with Schizophrenia?
There are lots of things that have helped me cope. The medication stabilises me and prevents me getting worse. Living in a sheltered project has provided a refuge from the big bad world – there are staff to talk things over with and provide emotional support. Talking always cheers me up a bit.
The courses at day centres have given me a further sense of achievement and provide some distraction from my problems, not to mention making my brain work.
I have met best friends and partners in the mental health system and we can go out for meals together, on holiday and do all the things normal people do (despite been shut out of society). We have the financial freedom of controlling our disability money.
The most important help has been support and love I had from my family and this has been more profound than the rest of these factors.

What would you say to someone who is struggling with symptoms they don’t understand?
That is a difficult one. You cannot explain the delusional symptoms as an illness if it seems real. As for voices the idea of illness will help orientate people to what is happening to them. The main thing is to try all the different therapies not just taking tablets but cognitive and compassion-based theories are also available today.

Mark Ellerby is the author of a series of books about the differing stages of Schizophrenia. He aims to demystify, educate and raise awareness of the condition by writing of his own experiences in an inspirational and informative style.

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/18/living-with-schizophrenia/feed/2allhumanheremarkellerbysqCoping with family visits: five tipshttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/coping-with-family-visits-five-tips/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/coping-with-family-visits-five-tips/#respondFri, 14 Apr 2017 17:42:46 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=596Family time is precious, but it can also be stressful – especially over the holidays.

Here are five tips on how to cope with relatives who are coming to stay. Visits can be especially hard if you have the background pressure of dealing with a mental health problem. You may not particularly want to talk about it. And of course, everyone wants family time to go smoothly!

Pace yourself
The most important aspect to managing a family visit is breaking it down into manageable portions. It’s a good idea to discuss plans before everyone arrives, and make sure things don’t get too hectic. Factor in downtime, like just watching television or spending the evening eating a nice meal together. Don’t try to do too much. Manage anxiety ahead of arrival by taking the visit one step at a time, even hour by hour.

Put conflict aside
So you argued six weeks ago on the phone… try to move on. Maybe by just spending time together, you will be able to put behind whatever caused the falling out, and actually end the weekend on better terms than when you started. Try not to focus on disagreements, and don’t bring up issues that perhaps need to be laid to rest, at least for now.

Focus on the positives
Make sure you pay compliments and spend time doing something enjoyable, to foster good feeling through the family. If that’s going to be difficult for you, the easiest thing to do is go and see a film. That way, at least people don’t have to talk to each other and it gives you some escape for a bit.
Get some fresh air
If the weather is good, get everyone out for a walk. Spring is a lovely time of year, and it can make everyone feel more relaxed just to go to a nearby park or beauty spot. Larger family groups can particularly benefit from time outdoors, as smaller conversations can spring up as people group off, and the pressure of all being together is released.

Go to bed early
There’s no need to stay up late. Early nights mean more time out from each other, and everyone will be fresher in the morning. If your family is used to staying up late, just explain you are trying to live more healthily by getting a good night’s sleep. Then smile sweetly and say ‘See you in the morning.’

Happy holidays!

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/coping-with-family-visits-five-tips/feed/0allhumanhereDepression is politicalhttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/29/depression-is-political/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/29/depression-is-political/#respondWed, 29 Mar 2017 22:07:42 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/29/depression-is-political/We are told by doctors and therapists that our problems are rooted in ourselves.

I’m not denying that those things have a role in how we function and how we experience life, but there doesn’t seem to be any room in a medical setting for the sociopolitical factors at play.

How many therapists are willing to look at the impact of the here and now, out there in society?

How many acknowledge that being denied benefits, being declared fit for work, even watching your country embark on a suicidal exit from Europe, or electing a President who lacks compassion, can all play a role in depression?

Is it not the case that witnessing cruelty, intolerance, bigotry and selfishness, not to mention institutional corruption, neglect of the sick and survival of the fittest, is detrimental to mental health?

Our society seems hellbent on silencing the vulnerable and promoting the callous.

And that makes me depressed, possibly more than the stuff that happened to me when I was a kid.

The idea was to send in a consumer review of your own brain, as if you’d bought it and tried it out, and were recommending the same model to other potential buyers.

It was a fun series, sadly at an end for now. Here’s an excerpt from my review:

This brain used to perform like a Bugatti, but having been through the life equivalent of a multiple pile-up, it’s not doing so great.

It’s a larger model – you’ll need an impressive head circumference to fit it all in. Having said that, bits of it aren’t functioning now, and I suppose these could be removed carefully before installation, allowing those with smaller heads to give it a whirl.

Features retained include strong visual recall and a somewhat patchy memory system which works when it wants to, but sometimes needs unplugging then plugging back in again. I do this by putting a pillow over my head while lying on the sofa.

You can read the full version over at Mindfump along with a whole heap of other very funny reviews! You’ll also find some amazing blogging which raises mental health awareness with wit and originality. Mindfump shows that the marriage of good writing with good ideas makes for a very successful blog.

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/14/brain-review/feed/3allhumanhereFund mental health services now!https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/03/fund-mental-health-services-now/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/03/fund-mental-health-services-now/#commentsFri, 03 Mar 2017 18:08:15 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=517I’ve been looking at statistics from the Mental Health Foundation and Young Minds and I wonder why this government seems so reluctant to get behind mental health, in a real and concrete way.

I wonder why politicians only ever seem to pay it lip service, offering a sound bite here, a top-up of funding there.

Of course, these top-ups are completely arbitrary when set against the losses accrued by years and years of cuts. And money allocated for mental health services is often secretly siphoned off.

You can’t announce an investment as David Cameron did last year, or as Theresa May did more recently, and expect it to sort out the calamitous state of NHS mental health provision.

The government’s brutal programme of cuts has seen an increased demand for mental health services. The number of people seeking help has increased by 500,000 a year to 1.7 million since austerity began in 2010.

And yet more than half of mental health trusts are rated as requiring improvement, and are themselves battling against a climate of cuts. GP mental health budgets are being slashed and patients are waiting months for treatment, with many forced to attend A&E to get help.

It all seems so shortsighted when you take a look at some of the key statistics:

Mixed anxiety and depression causes around a fifth of days lost from work in Britain

One in six adults has a common mental disorder

There were 6,188 suicides in 2015 of which 75% were male

Suicide is the most common cause of death in men aged 20-49 in England and Wales

Up to 85% of older people receive no help from the NHS for mental health problems

The cost of dementia in the UK is £26.3 billion

One in five long term unemployed young people feel they have nothing to live for

One in four have been prescribed antidepressants

Nearly 300,000 young people in the UK have an anxiety disorder

One in four young people in the UK experience suicidal thoughts

Anxiety and depression among teenagers has increased 70% in 25 years

Major depression is thought to be the second leading disability worldwide

Services continue to be slashed to the bone and people are left without effective treatment for a myriad of conditions, despite the figures pointing to a very real need.

What frightens me most is the predicament facing our young people, many of whom seem to be existing without hope, and without help. What sort of economic future has this country got if it won’t invest in the wellbeing of its future workers?

How are we supposed to compete on a world stage post-Brexit when so many of our young people are unemployed, unmotivated and unwell?

Theresa May announced a recent raft of measures including:

a suicide prevention strategy

improved links between schools and mental health services

a review of children and adolescent mental health services

a pledge to break stigma in the workplace

£15 million for community clinics

She said in a recent speech to the Charity Commission:

For too long mental illness has been something of a hidden injustice in our country, shrouded in a completely unacceptable stigma and dangerously disregarded as a secondary issue to physical health. Yet left unaddressed, it destroys lives, it separates people from each other and deepens the divisions within our society.

But her focus seems to be less on funding and more about training, prevention and tackling stigma.

She ignores the very obvious fact that services are crumbling in the face of wave after wave of cuts. The evidence that mental health needs investment is right before her eyes.

I’d like to see this government show a real financial commitment to tackling mental health problems, and fast. We need the Conservative government to recognise that it is failing hundreds upon thousands of people – the old, the young, the unemployed.

Until there is an end to austerity, an end to the cuts which do nothing more than hammer the vulnerable and cause deepening problems, all we can do is lobby, and lobby hard.

We can also look after each other.

We must do that above all else.

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/03/03/fund-mental-health-services-now/feed/3allhumanhereNever mix your hashtagshttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/02/28/never-mix-your-hashtags/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/02/28/never-mix-your-hashtags/#respondTue, 28 Feb 2017 13:59:20 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=485Today is pancake day and people will be making a huge mess in their kitchens with eggs, flour and milk.

Elsewhere, there will be people feeling alone and suicidal. These two facts coexist in our mixed up, multifaceted world. People enjoying themselves. People alone and in despair.

But when I saw a list of hashtags at the end of a single tweet that went:

suicideprevention, shrovetuesday, mentalhealth, pancakeday

I did a little shudder.

I can’t see the sense in it. Just because two situations coexist, it doesn’t mean we should mix them up online. The motivation is obvious: find a national day, a massive global event, something everyone is talking about, and hop on.

So do we just grab any trending hashtag and attach our cause to it?

It can look a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

And that’s a shame, because obviously #suicideprevention is massively important and pancake day (no hashtag!) is a fun family occasion.

I can see that it’s really important for mental health campaigners to get their message out there, and using the correct hashtags is all part of it.

But let’s avoid being too transparent in our aim. Less is more, and piggybacking on topics that have no relevance to your cause can look really daft and weaken your message.

A very detailed look at why there is so much discomfort in talking about mental health:

Whenever someone begins to talk about mental health people squirm with embarrassment, and a feeling of general discomfort, but why is that? Everyone has mental health, good or bad, yet as a society we do not like to recognise it.

]]>https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/02/27/the-erosion-of-civility/feed/1allhumanhereWhen fear takes overhttps://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/02/21/__when-fear-takes-over/
https://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/2017/02/21/__when-fear-takes-over/#respondTue, 21 Feb 2017 14:59:15 +0000http://allhumanhere.wordpress.com/?p=368What terrifies me most about the times we are living in is how many of us feel alone, angry and afraid.

I have felt like that for most of my life, but now I see it magnified all around me. The biggest echo chamber of all is the world, and to somebody with depression it can feel like everything inside you is being reflected out there.

I have struggled in the past twelve months to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed. I started NHS psychotherapy last summer for depression and PTSD and that, quite frankly, is enough for anybody. It’s tougher than I ever thought it would be.

Then I turn on the television or check my Facebook. I get frightened and anxious about the future, and I seem to exist in a state of horror at the present.

I suppose I keep watching because I want to be connected to what is going on. I can’t ever see a time when I disengage from current affairs.

But it’s okay to step back, especially when you’re fragile. If my brain can’t interpret what is happening out there without putting a big fat negative filter on everything, then perhaps it’s time to turn down the volume.

Media outlets go for the frightening, the alarmist, precisely because it’s that type of news which gets a reaction. Our human ancestors would travel the deserts and forests, always watchful, always ready. News editors prey on that instinct.