Some of you might not agree'Cause you probably likes a lot of miseryBut think a while and you will see...Broken hearts are for assholesBroken hearts are for assholesAre you an asshole?Broken hearts are for assholesAre you an asshole too?Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...

Maybe you think you're a lonely guyMaybe you think you're too tough to crySo you went to The Grape,Just to give it a tryAnd DagmarWithout a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my lifeWas his name...One Two Three Four!The whiskers sticking out from underneath of hisPancake make-upAnd yet he was a beautiful ladyNearly drove you insaneLet's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRRAnd so you kissed a little sailorTex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:Who had just blew in from SpainSir Richard Pump-A-LoafYou sniffed the reeking buns of AngelThe story of a demented bread-bofferAnd acted like it was cocaineCucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loafYou were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-KoThen on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in townIn a way you can't explainFacing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge matchWith Kona.And so you worked the wall with MichaelThree-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamiteWhich gave your back an awful strainVolcanic HellBut you came back on Sunday for the gong showNext Thursday, teen town's finest...But you forgot what I was sayin''Cause you're an asshole, You're an assholeThat's rightYou're an asshole, you're an assholeYes, yesYou're an asshole, you're an assholeThat's rightYou're an asshole, you're an asshole

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole