‘EAGLE EYE’: SHIA LA POOF TRIES TO LOOK OLD

JustJared (whose website never ceases to remind me of It’s Pat) has some new pictures of Shia LeBeouf on the set of Eagle Eye, from Salton Sea director DJ Caruso.

Eagle Eye centers around a young slacker (LaBeouf) who returns home after the mysterious death of his successful twin brother. Said slacker and a single mother (Michelle Monaghan) find out that they have been framed as terrorists, and they are coerced into becoming members of a cell tasked to assassinate a politician. Son and single mom must find a way to escape the cell and extricate themselves.

It’s cute, him trying to look all grown up with his pea coat, cigarette, gun, and facial hair. The only "I’m a real adult!" thing missing is a cell phone in a little holster. A holster for your cell phone says, "I’m important! I’m makin’ deals so fast I don’t have time to reach into my pockets! Bang bang, I have a mortgage!"

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It’s sad that D.J. remains acceptable while "Ice" and "M.C." never caught on as first names.Sidenote: Salton Sea is an awesome movie. Even better than Spun as far as movies about meth go – though "I don’t mean to impose, but I am the ocean," is one of my favorite lines of all time. Hehe, lines, get it? Fuck you.

By: bryce

01.09.2008 @ 10:34 AM

Lance is pre-posting… It’s a world gone mad!PS: I’m lobbying for Shitty LeBarf…

By: Nominus

01.09.2008 @ 10:38 AM

Salton Sea was good. But the creators of Spun definitely owe me money. Exploding meth lab, then getting busted for it at a nearby adult arcade? You can’t make that stuff up, and it only happened in Kansas. They did overlook the fact that I was nice enough to bring my own Windex to clean up the porno booth after I left, though.

By: Fek'lhr

01.09.2008 @ 10:42 AM

BONG!!!!!!!!!

By: Nominus

01.09.2008 @ 10:46 AM

Why am I not suprised that Fek’lhr didn’t get the end of that joke? Man, for a tall guy, it sure is easy for something to go right over his head! ROFLSAURUS!!

By: Fek'lhr

01.09.2008 @ 10:50 AM

Shit, even if I *didn’t* get it, it still wouldn’t make it funny, fuck-stick!Besides, the BONG wasn’t for you, it was for assholes pre-posting!

By: Nominus

01.09.2008 @ 10:53 AM

Oh. And what I typed wasn’t so much meant for you, as it was a blistering commentary on society and the internet, and how it’s effecting our social skills and ineptitude. Also, the practice of using words like ineptitude without fully knowing what it means.

By: Fek'lhr

01.09.2008 @ 11:47 AM

Dursted before posted. Nice.

By: bryce

01.09.2008 @ 11:50 AM

Shitty LeBarf: Lets get craaazy tonight!Hanger On: Yeah, lets get thrown out of an Ihop!Shitty: No man, lets kick it up a notch… Oh, yeah! Wallgreen’s, Baby!!!

By: JHC

01.09.2008 @ 11:51 AM

Last pic- "Would you mind not pointing that gun at my penis. I haven’t had a chance to use it yet." BOOSH!!!

By: Lalala I can't hear you!

01.09.2008 @ 11:52 AM

What state is the liscence plate for? (I have no opinion about this…) He has better facial hair than Frankie Muniz… aren’t his parents circus folks?

By: Fek'lhr

01.09.2008 @ 11:52 AM

Bah! SHe is aiming WAY too low for that yIntagh’s penis!

By: Lalala I can't hear you!

01.09.2008 @ 11:56 AM

There’s a lot of Shia facts:When younger, he attended a magnet school where he was the only white student. ed note magnet school?Second father and mentor was Jon Voight.Last name is pronounced "La-buff".His French-Cajun father, Jeffrey LaBeouf, was a clown from San Francisco who spent time in France studying commedia dell’arte.As a child, he and his parents would dress up like clowns and sell hot dogs in the park across the street from their apartment.When he was a guest on "Late Show with David Letterman" (1993) during the hype for Transformers (2007), Dave asked Shia how his name originated. Shia responded saying that the name "Shia" was Hebrew for Praise God and his last name "LaBeouf" was French for Beef hence the phrase "Praise God for Beef.".

By: Raine Driver

01.09.2008 @ 12:00 PM

Do it, Michelle, DO IT!In other news : He’s Cajun and Jewish?Well, so am I, so how did I end up so much better looking?

By: Crapbasket

01.09.2008 @ 12:01 PM

<lurking in bushes>

By: Lalala I can't hear you!

01.09.2008 @ 12:02 PM

Ha! His clown dad was also a heroin addict. I imagine it’s hard to find a vein while wearing poofy white gloves.

By: Raine Driver

01.09.2008 @ 12:04 PM

Not as hard as you’d think.I usually just drink it.

By: Nominus

01.09.2008 @ 12:05 PM

Lala: Assuming that all heroin junkies mainline it is probably the most harmful stereotypes in society today. Shame on you.

By: Raine Driver

01.09.2008 @ 12:06 PM

True stroy : I once had a friend who shot up between her nose and eye.Also, this movie sounds terrible.

By: Lalala I can't hear you!

01.09.2008 @ 12:08 PM

Fuck it. He must have been a bit of a tool if Jon Voigt seemed like an acceptable father in comparison. Clowns are awful. Clowns who mainline, that’s pumpkin pie bad.

By: VegasHustler

01.09.2008 @ 2:58 PM

I really think he has the potential to be the next Keanu Reeves.

By: AlexR

01.09.2008 @ 4:05 PM

Shia Labeouf has apparently been smoking since he was 10 years old. I read they used to yell at him on the set of that Even Stevens show because he’d disapper in between setups to go have a cigarette.