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Dear Miss Manners: We are a two-dad family. At all of the schools that our children have
attended, we have received invitations to “Mom’s Night Out”— a social gathering for moms to discuss
their own dreams, challenges, etc.

While I appreciate being included in the invitation, I am never quite sure whether and how to
respond.

I appreciate from the organizer’s perspective that including us is better than excluding us;
however, we aren’t moms, and, in some ways, it highlights the fact that our children are “
different.”

I certainly don’t begrudge the moms a night out in good company, but I wish we could develop
some new language or expectations in an evolving world.

Maybe we should just respond — as I did once — that we appreciate the invitation but that there
are no moms at our house and we wish them a great night out.

We look forward to your thoughts.

Gentle Reader: First, realize that they mean well and want to be inclusive; and, second, that
Primary Caregiver’s Night Out is not a catchy name. If you can think of a better one, Miss Manners
thinks the organizers would welcome the change.

But this is worth doing only if one of you genuinely wants to participate. Are the Mom’s Night
activities something you would enjoy? Alternatively, are there enough stay-at-home fathers, whether
or not they are same-sex parents, to start a Dad’s Night Out group?

When wearing a suit with braces, should you wear a belt for a nighttime wedding reception?

Gentle Reader: As belts and braces (also known as suspenders) serve the same purpose, namely
holding up your trousers, Miss Manners would think that wearing them together would give the
impression of insecurity.

If you have reason to be insecure, she would prefer safety over risk.

Dear Miss Manners: I am a picky eater. I have been learning about cooking to try to change my
tastes, but change is slow.

My problem comes with my family. They are constantly harassing me about what I do and don’t eat.
When we plan meals together, it’s always “What are you going to eat?”

I am never rude (in my opinion) when people make things I don’t like, but it seems as if they
still expect me to eat it or give them a valid excuse (and not liking a food doesn’t count).

I just want to be left alone. Why can’t I be allowed to decline food, for whatever reason, and
not be made to feel bad or have it pointed out that it’s yet another thing I don’t like?

Gentle Reader: In polite society, no one is supposed to notice what is or isn’t eaten. It
shouldn’t be the subject of conversation.

But we aren’t talking about polite society; we are talking about family.

Miss Manners hopes that yours doesn’t badger its guests but is acting out of desperation to
please you after repeated failed attempts. Still, you must make them stop.

First, you should be complimenting the dishes you do like. Then you could show off your new
cooking skills by inviting them or by bringing a dish to share — as long as it is clear that you’re
not bringing it only for yourself or as an alternative to what is offered.

The point isn’t to engage in defending your eating habits but to appreciate their efforts and
make some effort of your own.

Write to Miss Manners — who sometimes responds with help from daughter Jacobina Martin or son
Nicholas Ivor Martin — at www. missmanners.com.