(Closed) Bridal Shower…is this appropriate?

My Future Mother-In-Law has insisted on throwing my wedding shower (in our culture, this is customary and not a gift grab)…what is a gift grab is what is possibly to come.

My Future Mother-In-Law asked me to make my guestlist. I have a small family and mainly male friends so my list was 7 people including my mom. That was fine with me…then my Future Mother-In-Law says “that brings the total to 30 plus us”…

Wait I am sorry, I have 7 people and she has 23??? So she dictates the list to me…6 people I have met maybe once (can barely put a face to them), 4 I have never met (my mother in law says they will come for her) and 6 (includin 4 I have never met) are not invited to the wedding!

I think this is in extremely poor taste and talked to Fiance and he just shrugged and said “it will look bad on her, not you”.

I don’t know what to do/say? Am I overreacting by feeling weird about this? They are all her family and her friends but this isn’t about her its about people who are close with me.

By The Way I did try gently bringing it up about keeping it smaller and she completely dismissed me and said “they will come for me”.

I having the exact same problem with my FI’s aunt who wants to throw me a bridal shower too and I’m pretty sure she is inviting people who won’t be invited to the wedding (because Fiance and I don’t have the slightest clue who they are). I’ve always been told that you can’t invite someone to a shower who is not invited to a wedding so I’m curious what responses you get. I really hope it works out for you though!!

Although you are correct that those who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to a shower, your Fiance is also correct. You are not hosting or planning the shower, and you were not the source of providing these additional names to the hostess. No one can hold you responsible if she is offended that she received an invitation to a shower that your Future Mother-In-Law is hosting in your honor.