Dartmouth woman learns amazing truth about her roots

She knew she was adopted, but it wasn't until 60 years later that Ann Fournier found she was one of at least seven siblings ... all of whom were also given up for adoption by the same birth parents.

Marsha Zeitz

Imagine for a moment knowing that you are adopted, and assuming, from all accounts, that you are the only child of your birth parents.

Then fast forward to your early sixties, and imagine your surprise when you discover that — contrary to everything you have always believed to be true — you not only have one sibling, but six, perhaps even seven, all from the same parents, all born within an approximately ten-year period and all given up for adoption at birth or, in one case, to a state school.

Ann Fournier, 68, of Dartmouth doesn't have to imagine any of this. She has lived it.

Born Janet Ellen Puustinen in the summer of 1946 in the Central Mass. town of Gardner, she was adopted three days after her birth by Agda and Harry Nelson, also of Gardner. She went on to a happy childhood and adolescence in the same community with parents who loved her dearly.

"My mom and dad told me that I was adopted at a very young age," says Fournier. "They told me that I was chosen. I always had this idea that they looked through a glass window at all the babies and chose me. So you can imagine how important and loved I felt growing up."

Fournier adds that, "I was, though, naturally curious about my biological parents. In my late twenties I decided to try to find out who they were."

It was not an easy task. Adoption records were sealed. So, Fournier asked a friend, an investigator, to help in her search.

Success. He found her original birth certificate.

"Only my mother's name, Ina Puustinen, was listed, no father," says Fournier. "I was born in Gardner, adopted in Gardner and went to school in Gardner. Ina also lived in Gardner. It's not a big town. I could have bumped into her in the supermarket and never even known it."

Fournier made no further inquiries. "My mom and dad were still living and I was so afraid they would be hurt by my search. I didn't want them to think I didn't love or appreciate them, so I stopped."

Twenty-five years came and went. Then, in 1995, the embers of her curiosity caught fire and she resumed the search to find her parents. "I was getting older. I wanted to know more before it was too late. I wanted to know about my heritage and any hereditary illnesses. I wanted to meet my parents, see what they looked like, who they were."

She and a friend found Ina' s address and visited her.

Fournier says that "my friend and I pulled up to her residence and knocked on her door. She invited us in, was cordial and chatted with us, but she denied being my mother or ever having been married."

Fournier says she thought about that meeting and decided to go back to visit Ina without her friend, to have a more private conversation.

Ina's reticence vanished.

"Yes, Ann, I am your mother," Ina revealed when Fournier returned.

Fournier was excited. She says that she chatted for awhile and told Ina about her family. As Fournier was leaving, she told Ina not to feel guilty about giving her up for adoption.

"I needn't have worried about her vulnerability," says Fournier. She says that Ina quickly replied, "Oh, I don't feel guilty, Ann. I never gave it a thought."

At that meeting Ina did tell Fournier the name of her birth father and that he had passed away several years before. She went on to say that she was single and living at home at the time of Fournier's birth and that Fournier's father was a married coworker.

"We exchanged a few notes," Fournier says, then pauses. "But, eventually her correspondence stopped. It seemed that Ina did not want to continue the relationship, so I respected her wishes."

In August 2007, Fournier tried again. Because Puustinen was such an unusual name and the search area was so limited, Fournier was able to easily locate a nephew of Ina's who told her that Ina was now in a nursing home.

"Off I went to see her, "says Fournier. "By this time, I was living in Dartmouth, so it was a two hour ride. I sat with her and talked awhile. When the nurse put her to bed, I sat by her bedside as she slept."

On Ina's night table there were several cards and a letter. Fournier could not resist.

"I peeked at her mail," says Fournier, smiling mischievously. She says that the letter began by saying, 'I'm so glad that I have found my biological mother!'

"Holy cow!" she said. "Was I surprised! It dawned on me that I just might have a sister!"

There was a return address on the envelope with a woman's name. Fournier immediately called her.

The woman was Pat Langley, 56, from Bow, New Hampshire.

Yes, to her delight, Fournier had found a sister.

Fournier is smiling broadly now. "And....if there were two of us, just maybe there were more. Pat was already on the case."

Pat Langley, 56, first met Ina in 2005 when she was 87 years old. When New Hampshire changed its Vital Records Access Laws in 2005, the process of finding birth families was made infinitely more accessible.

Langley took that opportunity to search for her biological parents.

"All I needed was ten dollars and an ID. They sent me my birth record," says Langley. "Once I had Ina's name, I found her."

Looking back, Langley says that she had wonderful adoptive parents. "In retrospect, I am thankful that Ina gave me up. I have no anger at all."

She adds that " I didn't feel any mother daughter relationship when I saw her. I was just fascinated by her."

According to Langley, Ina was born in August 1918 and died in December 2007. "She came from a very large family, perhaps with 13 or 14 siblings," says Langley, " but many of them have passed away. The sisters that were left weren't interested in sharing her story, but other relatives subsequently did.

"I have heard that Ina's family was not a happy one and that their home was a very difficult place to grow up in. We've been told that her father was a furniture maker and part-time Pentecostal minister. He was domineering, very strict and quite a disciplinarian. Her mother stayed at home to take care of the kids and was very docile and subservient to her husband."

Langley also learned from a male relative that Ina had had several children — but the relative could only remember one child's name, Gary.

"It seems that Gary was given up to the Belchertown School ( a state facility that has since closed) at about 2 years old because there was something wrong with him," says Fournier. "He was, ironically, the only child that Ina kept for any length of time."

"We have since heard that there might even have been a child before me," says Fournier. "That would make eight of us! We aren't sure about that, though. But, by all accounts, we are reasonably sure that all of us had the same birth father. "

But, all of the siblings had not yet been located. How to find them. The sisters asked a newspaper in the Gardner area to run a story about Ina. Sure enough, their brother Dennis still lived in the area, read the story and contacted them. He had already found their sister Vivian.

"I was always curious about my birth parents," says Dennis Rinki, 63, of Lunenburg, "but I never got around to trying to find them until I had medical issues and needed health information. Would you believe it? My birth mother's name was actually in the white pages. The adoption agency wouldn't give me any information about her, but they did tell me I had a sister whose name was Vivian. She and I met in 2001 and have stayed in touch. But, we never knew there were any other siblings. We never even knew about each other until I approached the adoption agency."

"Vivian and I tried to call Ina," says Rinki, "but she denied she was our mother and hung up on us. We felt she didn't want anything to do with us and left her alone after that."

"We were on a roll," says Fournier. "Pat scrolled through a State of Massachusetts adoption registry. It turns out that our brother Michael was registered there."

One more sibling to find. Robert was found through a link to Child and Family Services but was too ill for us to contact," says Fournier.

Why would a woman have so many children, one after another, and give each of them up? We'll never have a definitive answer, but there are some hints in her background and behavior.

"I would suspect that the mother was a highly dependent individual, one for whom attachment was a problem," says Andrew Aaron, LICSW, a New Bedford therapist. "A relationship doesn't always indicate personal strength. A dependent person prizes the partner in the relationship over their own well being. A baby is an extension of oneself. If the mother didn't have much of an attachment to her own parents as a child, she might not be able to have an attachment to her own babies."

"Did the mother's family pressure her to give up the children because they felt shame?," Aaron ponders. "Did the birth father advocate adoption because he was afraid children would expose him? I wonder about the mother's competency. A woman with high self-esteem would not have continued in the relationship. But, this is all speculation."

Fournier and her siblings will never know all the answers.

"I don't know what Ina's opportunities were socially," she says. "She was 28 when she had me. In those days, women married and had children at a much younger age. It's possible she would have accepted a relationship a younger woman would not have. I can only guess that she liked the attention my birth father gave her and that it filled some need in her. But, I think that she also really loved him."

"I don't think, though, that she had a warm, nurturing nature or a motherly instinct. Perhaps that was because of her upbringing. I don't look back at her with anger or regret, but I don't feel sorry for her either. After having two children and choosing to give them up, and then having five more, well, that is incomprehensible and inexcusable to me."

"On a happier note, I now have an extended family and I am thrilled," says Fournier. "My sisters, brothers and I have become close and we have met many cousins on my mother's side of the family. We have no contact with my biological father's family at this time. But, maybe someday we will.

"And who knows," she pauses, then continues with a twinkle in her eye, "maybe that rumored other sibling will read this article and contact us. We would love that!"

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