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It's like slowing down too look at an accident, I hate blood but can't help it

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."
--Robert Heinlein

PROUD PARENT OF A UNITED STATES MARINE!!! Sleep Well America, My Marine Has Got Your Back... Proud Parent of a Sailor, in the United States Navy.......

One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys arose to fight.
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
Now a deaf policeman heard the noise and came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too.

I stand before you, to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Last night an empty truck full of bricks rolled
down our back alley that was in front and almost
killed our dead cat. I rushed to the hospital just
in time to see four men seated at the
four corners of the Round Table eating vinegar
with their forks.

My Mom remembers from HER grade school days:

The question is: What would you rather do or ride a bicycle.
The answer is: A quart of potatoes Thursday.

[A] It comes from the Industrial Workers of the World, the anarchist-syndicalist labour organisation formed in the US in 1905, often called the Wobblies. The Wobblies concentrated on organising migrant and casual workers; one of the ways in which they brought such disparate and fragmented groups together was by song. Every member got a little red book when he joined, containing parodies of popular songs or hymns (the book had a motto on the cover: ?To Fan the Flames of Discontent?). One of the early ones, predating the IWW, was Hallelujah, I?m a Bum.

One IWW member was Joe Hill, a Swedish-born seaman and hobo (one of the martyrs of the union movement: he was convicted of murder on dubious evidence and executed in 1915; you may recall a folk song about him, sung memorably by Joan Baez). He wrote several popular pro-union parodies for them, such as Coffee An?, Nearer My Job to Thee, The Rebel Girl and The Preacher and the Slave.

This last song, dating from 1911, was aimed directly at the Salvation Army, a body anxious to save the Wobblies? souls, while the Wobblies were more interested in filling their bellies. The Wobblies hated the Sally Army?s middle-class Christian view that one would get one?s reward in heaven for virtue or suffering on earth. The song was a parody of the Salvation Army hymn In the Sweet Bye and Bye:
Long-haired preachers come out every night,
Try to tell you what's wrong and what's right;
But when asked how 'bout something to eat
They will answer with voices so sweet:

CHORUS:
You will eat, bye and bye,
In that glorious land above the sky;
Work and pray, live on hay,
You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

By 1911, other expressions using pie had already been around for some time, such as nice as pie and easy as pie and it had begun to be used for a bribe or political patronage (of rewards being distributed like slices of pie) so pie was already in the air, so to speak.