April Fools! Round-up of the UK’s best pranks

In true April Fool’s Day spirit, newspapers, celebrities and companies have shared their obligatory annual pranks. Here is RT’s round-up of the funniest, silliest and most downright terrible jokes.

1)

Top of the pile this
year is the Guardian, which hopped off its high horse for a day
to bring the nation an outrageous stunt from Jeremy Clarkson,
recently fired from the BBC for punching a producer.

Under the headline “Jeremy Clarkson joins Guardian drive for
fossil fuel divestment”, the paper boasted that after a
“dark night of the soul,” the former ‘Top Gear’ host was
going to “regain the trust of the British public” by
using his time to promote divestment.

The pugnacious petrol-head even made a video to back the paper’s caper.

2)

Domino’s Pizza also rode in for a slice of tomfoolery. The firm
unveiled a new fleet of “driverless delivery” vehicles.

Naming the two-wheeled automated scooters
“Domi-no-drivers,” Domino’s claimed the vehicles are
capable of carrying up to four times as much pizza as a
traditionally-operated bike.

3)

Local and regional papers also offered up their share of
satirical articles, including the Bognor Regis Observer, which
penned a piece dispelling rumors that hippopotamuses were going
to be
introduced into the South Downs National Park.

The paper claimed the extensive rehabilitation of the parkland
had fueled rumors that the large herbivores might be making an
appearance, but added the rare grassland would not be used as
grazing pastures.

If only it were true…

4)

The Yorkshire Post meanwhile boasted a “quirky take” on the usual
park-and-ride system, offering commuters the chance to ‘park and
zorb’ to work instead.

“The city has been chosen to trial a ‘Park and Zorb’ station
in a bid to cut air pollution and give office-goers a fun and
healthy alternative journey to work,” the article read.

“For just £2.50 a day, or £9.99 for a five-day pass, city
workers will be able to leave their cars in the Park-and-Zorb
station at Elland Road – and roll the rest of the way to
work.”

Someone’s on the ball (or in it).

5)

Windermere Now also posted a zany transport suggestion. The paper
announced that a sea-plane service would soon begin transporting
tourists from the center of London to the picturesque shores of
Lake Windermere in under two hours.

It said the new service would allow tourists to “view the
Tower of London in the morning, enjoy an in-flight lunch, and
land on Windermere after a trouble-free flight.”

Flight of fancy, more like.

6)

Credit must be given to the University of Oxford, however, which
announced its new “self-driving punt.”

It said the boats would “be able to navigate the waterways of
Oxford automatically, using sensors to detect banks, other boats
on the river, and even natural hazards such as swans.”