More than 500 of Scotland's top lawyers packed the Hilton Hotel in Glasgow for the Scottish Legal Awards.

Unfortunately Margo Macdonald was unable to make her speech after being floored by a nasty bout of flu.

But after-lunch speaker Alan Hansen kept the crowd entertained with tales from his football career.

Before he began talking, a video montage of his career was punctured by a typically deadpan Kenny Dalglish saying Hansen was 'crap' and expressing surprise he ever got a game for Liverpool. Once into his stride Hansen gave an insight into the intellect of some of those he shared a dressing room with.

When Liverpool signed Steve Nicol from Ayr United the Troon-born defender was asked where his home town was in relation to Glasgow and Edinburgh. The reply: "I'm not sure. History was never my best subject."

Then after an away game in the European Cup the team were staying overnight in the former Soviet Union.

At a buffet Hansen was surprised when fellow Scot Frank McGarvey chose to scoop dollops of caviar on to his bread roll. But seconds later he was laughing as McGarvey spat out the roll and said: "Stay away from that blackberry jam. It stinks of fish."