Me and My House Plant

When Gus was given to me by a man who, in retrospect, was probably a servant of the Underworld, I was hesitant to take him. I have a long history of killing even the most “easy to manage” plants. My grandparents owned a nursery, but I was cursed with a black thumb. After being reassured that this plant just needed some sunlight and to not be over watered, I brought him home. I named him Augustus, after a book character whose fate I feared this Gus was doomed to follow, thanks to my aforementioned penchant for accidental plantocide.

But Gus is tough, and possibly from the demon realm. He’s survived over a year, enduring all kinds of horrors: cats who nibble on his leaves (he’s cat safe; that was the first question I asked), being forgotten for periods of time, lack of sunlight thanks to Seattle’s cloud cover. And yet, he’s endured. Not just endured. He’s thrived.

He was a stubby little thing when I brought him home, barely growing a few inches out of the soil. But since then he’s grow wildly in all directions, his branches snaking out beyond him like octopus legs. The other day I was watering Gus when I realized he probably needed a bigger pot. In fact, he’d probably needed one for a long time.

Now, I know that may seem obvious to most people, but you have to understand, this was something I’d never encountered before: a plant who had survived and grown big enough in my care to require transplantation to a larger vessel.

So today I went and bought a larger pot and some soil, and I moved Gus into a bigger home:

Is it me, or does he LOOK happier? He does, right?

You can see his dinky old pot next to him. When I pulled him out, I found his little roots curled up along the bottom. I feel terrible for neglecting him for so long, even if he is feeding on my life energy to sustain himself as I suspect. Anyhow, now he has bigger pot to grow even larger.

Given his current rate of growth, he’ll probably take over the entire living room in two to three months, and then we’ll have to get a three-bedroom apartment so he can have his own space. But I’m very excited to have a house plant who’s lived despite the odds, especially with a name like Augustus.

Also if I become a walking plant demon, you know what my fatal mistake was.