Aliyah Chronicles #8: Our First Six Months

We've come a long way.

Checking my daughter's head for lice six months ago under the bright fluorescents of the bathroom, with my daughter's screams bouncing off the tiles and echoing throughout the house, I grumbled to myself:

I don't think I'm going to make it in Israel.

I already have too many tasks to complete before bedtime. Checking every strand of hair, while wrestling with my impatient five-year-old, might take me over the edge.

I dug the lice comb into my daughter's scalp thinking wistfully of my friends back in New Jersey, speaking English without having to look up every other word in the dictionary, giving birth in English, and managing bedtime routine without nit picking.

A friend told me the other day that a new family would be arriving that evening on Aliyah. I reminisced about the excitement and anticipation we felt as our own plane hit the tarmac at Ben Gurion Airport six months ago. How we stepped off the plane, and entered a whole new life. I remembered the exhaustion and the heat of Israel, our tiny apartment with mattresses on the kitchen floor, the jet lag, and the feeling of being completely lost.

And with a tear in my eye, I recognized how far we had come in six months.

Since arriving on our Yishuv six months ago via three taxis with 17 pieces of luggage, six carry-ons and three car seats, drained and overheated, we have accomplished much. We moved twice, unpacked our lift of 125 boxes, went furniture shopping in a foreign language, set up a bank account, obtained health insurance, bought a used car, fixed the used car, gave birth to a new baby (our first "Sabra"), lived through a war, and experienced my husband's first business trip back to America.

Not to mention how we watched the children settle into new schools, make friends, and learn Hebrew.

I can now call the gas company to get my BBQ hooked up to the gas line, and the furniture store to enquire when our wardrobe will be delivered, and the phone company to contest a phone bill. All this in Hebrew. Not great Hebrew, but Hebrew nonetheless. I've come a long way from Ben Gurion Airport.

My children are still not fluent in Hebrew, but they don't seem to mind. Just like me, they know what to say in Hebrew to get their daily needs met. They have lots of Israeli friends, and go to school happily. Every day, my daughter reports to me one more word that she understands, and one more word that she can say. We marvel at their beautiful Israeli accents, admiring their rolling "rs" and flawless "chs."

We've learned how to remain calm and to smile at our "Israeli moments."

Why would anyone want to blow up my math book and my tuna fish sandwich?

Like last month, when my son forgot his knapsack at the bus stop. We only realized it the next day when it was too late. His classmates informed us that the Yishuv security force had blown it up along with his new winter coat, which was sitting on top.

"What?" My son's eyes squinted in confusion. I could see he was thinking, why would anyone want to blow up my math book and my tuna fish sandwich?

"It looked suspicious," I tried to explain. He began to cry, fearing that he might have to redo all the work that he had done since September.

I told my son, "Thank God, they are looking after our safety here. And we should be very happy and grateful."

He returned to the bus stop and collected the remnants of his knapsack, including a piece of the zipper and a ripped math worksheet. His friends taught him the word in Hebrew for "blown-up." My husband and I smiled at each other, knowingly… Only in Israel.

This evening, I found a bug in my daughter's hair.

"Ew," she made a face and turned away. My son took the tissue to the toilet, and I continued running the comb through her hair giving that bug and the one after that little fan fare. My daughter has grown to accept these checks just like books before bed and treats on Shabbos (though a lot less pleasant), and ironically, I've come to appreciate the special mother-daughter time we have together (as long as I don't accidentally pull a hair out of her head).

We know we have a much longer road to travel, and greater challenges to overcome. But now that we've made the move, we have more confidence to forge ahead and to establish our lives here in Israel. We are less exhausted, and less overwhelmed. We understand that Aliyah is a process which does not end when you step off the plane or when the Israeli passports arrive in the mail. In fact, we've only just begun our Aliyah. But it's a good beginning, thank God.

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About the Author

Miriam (Tara) Eliwatt has an MFA in Playwriting from Columbia University. She has written and directed plays in the Jewish community as well as taught drama to elementary and high school-aged girls. She has performed most recently in the Regal Productions/Zir Chemed musical productions in Israel. You can check out her new blog onTimesofIsrael.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 12

(12)
rosemary,
June 22, 2011 10:14 PM

luvly! a fun take on the first few months. we r also privileged to be living in our Holy Land since april 2011 rosemary

(11)
,
December 23, 2009 6:41 PM

Feel connected

I miss being in Tara's writing class back in New Jersey, but feel a little more connected to the holy land reading her article. Tara and family... you are missed, and we're really happy for you! Hatzlacha with the holy adventure!

(10)
Chana,
May 24, 2009 9:56 PM

Re Lice and Orah's advice :-)

Orah's advice is good, or so I've heard. Never had to try it myself. However, just a note. I assume your daughter will be playing outside, so don't use citronella. Rosemary and Geranium are fine. Citronella is a natural bug repellent, but citronella oil and sun can have unpleasant effects on the skin. If she is running and playing outside, the top of her head will get a lot of sun exposure. Just want to keep your family healthy and happy! best wishes from NY

(9)
Andrea Eliwatt,
April 1, 2009 11:29 PM

Tara
You are amazing, your stories about the kids and your new life make it a little easier to deal with missing you.
mom eliwatt

(8)
Orah,
March 28, 2009 11:12 PM

Use pure rosemary oil EVERY DAY

The solution to lice is very simple and works 99% of the time. Buy rosemary oil (or citronella or geranium) and drop at least three drops on child's hair before going to school. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO PUT IN IN SHAMPOO! The spray is not effective enough either. Additionally, you MUST REMOVE ALL EGGS!! This can take four to five combings, even in the best of cases. If you follow these guidelines, you will totally eliminate the lice problem in your house, b'ezrat Hashem. You're life will be sooo much easier.

(7)
Chana Zelasko,
March 26, 2009 4:51 PM

Keep it up

You bring me back 32 years when I was a new immigrant. It only gets better. Seeing your children develop and mature and at the same time seeing Eretz Yisroel develop and grow. It's an indescribable joy.

(6)
Alana Eliwatt,
March 24, 2009 5:26 PM

You are an amazing woman my sister in law!

Tara you amaze me more and more as I read your journey of life in Israel. I miss you all terribly, but these stories warm my heart! keep up the good work. I love you guys

(5)
Aliza,
March 23, 2009 6:41 PM

tea tree

tea tree shampoo is a good prevention once you get rid of them. good luck, and btw nits exist in the rest of the world too, you just might have missed them in the states, but my kids have avoided them all over.

(4)
Anonymous,
March 23, 2009 1:37 PM

natural sprays work

you can buy natural sprays that contain rosemary from your pharmacy. I have found that they really work in preventing lice. good luck.

(3)
Simcha Mendel,
March 23, 2009 1:49 AM

Hairspray & Life in Israel

First of all, hairspray may prevent the lice, but it is not healthy to use. I believe there are special shampoos to prevent lice. Ask your doctor or pharmacist.
Secondly, I have resided in Israel for 15 years & am still trying to acclimate. The only thing that is giving me the incentive to remain here is that I have good friends & two great synagogues which I love, but life in Israel is extremely difficult.

(2)
ruth housman,
March 22, 2009 3:24 PM

Moving Experiences

Good luck settling into your new home, as the newest settlers. It's an adventure!
It took me the longest time to find a home, meaning putting down roots, and I am so happily, a New Englander, with roots here in Boston. There are so many "a pparent" choices in life, and it seems a celestial "Parent" brought you Home.
Enjoy and Best of luck on your Aliyah.

(1)
eidel,
March 22, 2009 10:58 AM

keep lice away

Hairspray! Wash her hair every night and then hairspray it. Lice do not live in hairspray.I learned that my first year as a teaacher in a title one school.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!