This might be a weirdly inappropriate Valentine or I might be reading too much into this.

I found this vintage Valentine at a garage sale and I couldn’t stop looking at it because it seems weirdly and inappropriately sexual. The woman running the garage sale disagreed with my assessment so I’m sharing it here so you can see if you’re as messed up as I am:

“YOU CAN’T PUT OUT THE ‘FIRE’ IN MY HEART FOR YOU.”

1. Look at this girl’s feet. She’s straddling a flaming bucket labeled “MY VALENTINE.” Her vagina is literally on fire here. That’s not healthy or appropriate.

2. Why is she even burning valentines? Was it an accident? Does she like arson? Is this how she lures firemen to her home? So many questions.

3. Sometimes a hose is not a hose. Also, you’re not even aiming at the fire, sir. It’s like you’ve never even had fire training.

4. The hose seems to have a mind of its own and is spraying everywhere. The entire place…