Thursday, November 22, 2012

Ah, Yes, Massachusetts, Land of the Brave...

BROOKLINE (CBS) – Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.

Wait. Let me get this straight. You were attacked by turkeys, you got into a vehicle, and continued to be attacked? Really? You never thought to, I don't know, start the truck up and make some turkey paté? Honest? Look, I understand not everybody does the gun thing, especially in the Volksrepublik. But have some common sense, people. If a turkey is attacking you and you have the option of a 3,000 pound weapon, USE IT.

It's this culture of helplessness that's killing us. Folks that can' think for themselves that a 40 pound animal vs. a 3,000 vehicle is a no-brainer; that think the only entity that can save them is the (local/state/federal) government; that are too timid, afraid, or lazy to take control of a situation; these are symptoms of a larger problem. I don't know what the solution is, but cowering in a motor vehicle while an animal with a brain the size of a peanut is your master ain't in my plan.

11 comments:

In fairness, those same local/state/federal governments have run roughshod over people who didn't follow the rules about wildlife. And most people don't even know those rules. That's why they're afraid.

A friend stopped at a light to watch a local PD save a Young Damsel in Distress being harassed by a tom wild turkey. Young Damsel was standing on top of her car in a parking lot of the Churchville Inn. Our local feed store sold chicks and when they got too big and ornery folks just turned them loose.

John Law came up laughing and tried to shoo the turkey away. Turkey turned, flew up and proceeds to wing slap and spur the living daylight out of the officer. Turkey 1 PoPo 0

John Law is now pissed and draws his ASP. Respect My Authority and he charges said turkey. Tom Turkey appears to say my fowl foo is too strong for you and wing slaps and spurs John Law to the ground. Turkey 2 PoPo 0

Young Damsel in Distress decides this is an opportune time to get back in her car and drive away.

John Law now has had enough. His hand goes to holster and he begins to draw weapon. Crowd boos! John Law looks like he may shoot one or two of them as well.

Tom Turkey decides to leave and struts off to seek a more worthy adversary or female of his own species.

John Law leaves and probably tells the shift commander the reason his uniform is all torn up is he fought off the whole Breed motorcycle club.

I pass a flock (about 15 in all) of them every day. I even take pictures. One attacks its dinner or at least going to get a whole lot of attitude and my foot. Just once I'd like to see how far I can punt one. ;)

Seriously they are wild animals and should not be approached as they aren't without weapons. The lack of hunting and predication is the real problem.

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