Got me thinking though. (I hasten to mention, that was NOT said to me!)

In these days when tweets and texts are perhaps the primary method of communication (after speech) and we have to limit the amount of words/characters we use – what are the best/worst things we can hear or read that contain the fewest words?

Here’s a few of my suggestions…

You have 1/3/6 months to live

I love you

It’s not you, it’s me

That item is out of stock

You’ve got the job!

It’s a boy/girl!

It’s twins/triplets/sextuplets

I forgot your passport!

Happy Birthday!

We don’t have that size/color

We’re getting a puppy

I’m sorry about this but…

I’m pregnant

Bend over

We need to talk

I’m sorry

It’s too late

We’re out of toilet paper

Last orders please!

Wow. Isn’t it interesting how such few words can produce so much amount and variety of emotion? And how the very same words can be either positive or negative?

Generally you would imagine that the words ‘I love you’ would be great to hear, especially the first time. But for some people it can be the death knell for a relationship if they’re not ready or have a fear of commitment.

‘It’s a boy/girl’ can have tremendous import if you live in a country that allows/practices gendercide because of skewed economics or population problems. Many parents would cry tears not of joy but despair or anguish if the ‘wrong’ sex meant having to terminate the pregnancy or secretly dispose of the baby.

Some words can only mean bad news. I suspect almost no-one will take the instruction to ‘Bend over’ in a doctor’s office as an indication that something good is about to happen. There’s always exceptions to the rule though…

‘Happy Birthday’ will be words that will be great to hear for new 16/18/21 year olds as they are important milestones that open up whole new worlds of possibilities depending on where you live. At last you can go to a pub/bar/club or buy beer on your own! (Bit sad really but I think it’s true that it’s the primary thought in many young people’s heads)

Once you hit 30 though it’s a different story. To the point that you start dividing or deducting years in order to avoid hitting the big ‘tens’. ‘I’m NOT nearly 40, I’m 39 and a half!’ – me personally, I’m 47 and a quarter…