After all this time together, his raging, evil, twisted, latent monster surfaced and left me in total shock! Talking about it to anyone will only make my nightmare worse if he finds out, so I am venting here, anonymously. I have to have somewhere to let it out. I now know he is a narcissist, but what else? bipolar? schizoid? psychotic? schizophrenic? some other mental disorder? I hope someone can help me answer this and find a way to get me out of here!.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

T L Ogre says - No more cooking after dark!

Yep, NEW RULE! Just one more of those things to try and control me and take me down. I will admit, I am the world's worst about trying to use up every minute of the daylight and getting dinner cooked late, but I have always been that way. I try and I try and I try, and sometimes I make it. But T. L. Ogre's way of handling it is just wrong!

In the midst of all of his 'sudden' raging and controlling, he has commanded me to "No more cooking after dark!" For crying out loud, it gets dark around 5pm, now! And he is dead serious. The verbal beating would be horrific if I even tried. So, needless to say, I haven't had a hot meal in days and days!

It is really cold right now. We are living in a tent and I am outside most of the day doing chores in the cold. I have a lot of health issues and a hot meal, even a hot sandwich at the end of the day would be wonderful! I can't believe that I now find myself dreaming longingly of a hot meal :(

We have some hamburger meat, bread and some chips. The iron skillet stays ready and I have had a campfire going the past few days so I could cook some dog food (Simmered through the day in a large pot while I did chores. I would have been in even more trouble if I hadn't gotten that cooked so we could stretch out the dog food.). But I wasn't even allowed to take just a few minutes to toss a couple of meat patties into a skillet. It was after dark when chores were done and it was time to eat, so NO HOT DINNER! Just a cold sandwich or something out of a can.

It is a punishment, a control mechanism to break me down. He knows it will affect my health issues and he doesn't care. He is actually using that to break me down into submissiveness and obedience.