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Nov 26, 2008

So Socks, No Service

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but my house has been completely overrun by tiny socks. They're everywhere. They're multiplying. Multiplying like little white rabbits hopped up on ecstasy and viagra. In highchairs, in car seats, on bathroom floors, under bedsheets, under pillows, in the entertainment center, in the couch cushions, in book cases, in the pantry, in the garage, in coat pockets, in diaper bags, behind the dryer and occassionaly, randomly, stuck to one's butt. I feel like one day I'm going to sit down at dinner, bite into a sandwich and pull out a sock. We're overrun. And the worst part is, despite all being small and white, not a single one matches another. It's like some sci-fi story where throughout the universe these little creatures cannot exist in pairs and upon ever meeting their perfect match they must immediately fight to the death. An instant sock death match. One must die lest the universe implode on itself.

Of course, there is one point in time where all of these socks seem to disappear like cockroaches fleeing the light... when we're 20 minutes late, trying to get out the door and my kids have nothing on their feet.

So any suggestions? I can't continue to live like this and the traps and bait aren't working. I'm this close to making my kids wear nothing but footed pajamas until they're teenagers. Help.