It appears that you're running an Ad-Blocker. This site is monetized by Advertising and by ">User Donations; we ask that if you find this site helpful that you whitelist us in your Ad-Blocker, or make a ">Donation to help aid in operating costs.

A friend of mine sent this to me. Hope you guys/gals enjoy it as much as I did.

My Darn Good Resume. Accomplishments as President

By GEORGE W. BUSHThe White House. USA

* I attacked and took over two countries.

* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

* I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set an economic for the most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

* I set an all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stockmarket.

* I am the first president in US history to enter the with a criminal record.

* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

* I set the record for the most campaign fundraising trips by any president in US history.

* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in history.

* I set the all-time for the most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.

* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other president in US history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

* I cut healthcare benefits for war vetrans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneouly take to the streets to protest me ( 15 million people), shattering the record against any person in the history of mankind.

* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneouly go bankrupt.

* I presided over the biggest corporate stockmarket fraud any market in any country in the history of the world.

* I am the first president in US history to oder a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* I set the all-time record for the biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in the US history.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the International Criminal Court.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations inspectors acess during the 2002 US elections.

* I am the all-time US (and world) record for most corporate campaign donations.

* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kennth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the codes to Air Force 1).

* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US Law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.

* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

* In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the Civil War.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in Us history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down. record unemployment being the most recent achievement.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas drug conviction has been erased and not available).

* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All the minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and are unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

"Mrs. Jones, I'm sorry to inform you, but we've run the tests, and it appears that you have XP. Now don't cry - it's bad, but it's not a death sentence. Modern science has advanced in recent years, and it's now possible to live a reasonably happy life with XP. And there's a survivor's group that you'll want to meet as well."

...Intersting...and the bad thing is a lot of people in the US support bush for the fact that 'We camptured saddam'. If Bush gets reelected i believe we may be headed for WWIII or atleast another Civil War if not both. Which reminds me of a page, and a person awhile back who predicted this would happen http://www.johntitor.com hope the admins don't mind the link.

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-Albert Einstein

wow some of what that guy typed triped me out... but he did have a point when he said "did it ever occcur to you that ur society might be better off with half of it dead?".... i still want to smack bush and possibly shot his nads off. pity i'm not really that violent...

*Hell hath no fury like a womens anger and damn be the fool who gets in her way*

Originally posted by IceMyst: i still want to smack bush and possibly shot his nads off. pity i'm not really that violent...

Thats ok. He does tend to rub alot of people the extremely wrong way. Oh, and if you were to try and shoot his nads off, you would have to have an electron microscope, to asist you in finding them first. I hear their smaller the an atom. <img border="0" alt="" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />

all i have to do is aim in the general direction and witha shot gun he'll probably loose most of his hip bones also. he he he he he... not that he gets any in the first place. his dear first lady looks like an ice queen... very very figid

*Hell hath no fury like a womens anger and damn be the fool who gets in her way*

i'm just saying that in general the bush hatred seems to go way too far. i understand disliking his actions and foreign policies. it just seems to me that you are just looking for things to [censored] about dealing with him. sure some of the "resume" thing is funny. but the other topic about him "cheating" to win the election is just plain bullshit. if you want to really have a great topic to [censored] about, talk about how he seems to be completely ignoring domestic policies. how he obviously thinks the "war on terror" is more important than homeland education. that he actually thinks the Patriot Act is a good idea. talk about real issues, not the ridiculous stuff.

"when you look around, you can't tell me honestly you're happy with what you see"

Originally posted by fleshwound: i'm just saying that in general the bush hatred seems to go way too far. i understand disliking his actions and foreign policies. it just seems to me that you are just looking for things to [censored] about dealing with him. sure some of the "resume" thing is funny. but the other topic about him "cheating" to win the election is just plain bullshit. if you want to really have a great topic to [censored] about, talk about how he seems to be completely ignoring domestic policies. how he obviously thinks the "war on terror" is more important than homeland education. that he actually thinks the Patriot Act is a good idea. talk about real issues, not the ridiculous stuff.

Unbodied unsouled unheard unseenLet the gift be grown in the time to call our ownTruth is natural like a wind that blowsFollow the direction no matter where it goesLet the truth blow like a hurricane through me

Bush plain scares me. I do not find him funny at all. He is a very dangerous man. The acts he has made will affect our nation and children for years to come. We are so deep in this terrorist war [censored] that no matter who comes in we can't just pull out. It will send bad signals to our now allies.

It is like Afganistan. In the 80's Russia fought a 10 year war with them while we secretly trained and funded the Afgan side. When russia pulled out, so did the US. We broke promises and alliances with those people. We had to or else there would have been a big political snafu with Russia and USA.

So we pissed off a young leader named Osama Bin Laden.

Lesson is this, say Bush is not re-elected. That dose not mean to war is over. Not even close to over. That dose not mean the new guy will fix everything. There are wheels in motion now. Most likely they will stay in motion. We will pay the piper when all is said and done too. Wars take money. This country has very little right now. So we will shoulder the cost throuh tax increases in the years to come.

The Libertarian Party seems to have some good ideas in this category..http://www.lp.orgSorry if this seems like an advertisement or anything, but it is Bush and Kerry both suck, we need ANY third party to win :p +