Doritos suffers fierce backlash over ‘lady friendly’ chips

Last week, PepsiCo made a move towards “equality” that no intelligent being has ever wanted.

Indra Nooyi, CEO of the food and beverage giant, announced during an interview with Freakonomics Radio that Doritos will be making “lady friendly” chips.

According to Nooyi, women “don’t like to crunch too loudly in public … they don’t lick their fingers generously, and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavour into their mouth.”

When asked if asked if Doritos were making a female-friendly version of their notoriously crunchy and supposedly unladylike product, Nooyi seemed to give the affirmative.

“It’s not … male and female as much as, ‘Are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?’ And yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon,” explained Nooyi.

The company’s future chip for women was apparently going to be “low-crunch” with the full taste profile, though not as sticky, and would even fit in your purse – because no self-respecting woman would want to be seen consuming calories now would she?

Unsurprisingly to everyone, except maybe PepsiCo and Indra Nooyi, the reaction to this news was unrelenting, worldwide mockery from just about every corner of the internet.

Good news, ladies. We got a female Colonel Sanders and Doritos that don’t crunch, so feminism is cancelled. We’ve achieved equality.