The cabin crew was embarrassed. I was assured that such a thing had never, ever, happened before. The man introduced himself as Chief Flight Attendant Lyle Jameson and then, with his face close to the door, called out in a kind of a stage whisper, ``Madam, can you brace yourself and push from the inside?``

``I`ll give it a try,`` she said. The door bulged slightly and snapped back. That was followed almost immediately with laughter from inside.

``She`s hysterical,`` said one of the lady attendants.

``No,`` Joyce said. ``I just caught a shot of myself in the mirror, trying to brace myself against every fixture in here and pushing on this dumb door with my feet.``

The other lady flight attendant, who was beginning to sound a little panicky herself, told Joyce not to panic. Joyce said she`d been known to panic on being locked out of a bathroom, but never from being locked in one.

There was a little snickering from the passengers in the area. If the cabin crew had had any hopes of keeping the whole business a secret, those hopes were evaporating.

Mr. Jameson and I forced the base of the door open enough to slip a small prying tool to my wife so she could work from the inside.

``More to keep her busy than anything else,`` he said. ``Not much she can do from in there.``

He and I were sitting on the floor trying to work another pry-bar into the crack of the edge of the door.

An elderly man pushed his way between the lady flight attendants.

``Pardon, me,`` he said. ``I have to get in there.``

``Sorry, sir,`` one of them said. ``It`s not available.``

``You don`t understand,`` he said. ``I absolutely have to get in there. This is an emergency.``

``Well, I`m sorry, sir,`` said the other lady, ``It`s in use at the moment.``

``No it isn`t,`` he countered. ``The occupee sign is out. Did you know you`ve misspelled the word on the sign? You`ve got it as `occupee`?``

``That is `occupied` in French, sir, and I assure you this toilet is occupee . . . pied. In fact, it`s the most occupied toilet on this aircraft.`` The other lady attendant said, ``It`s full up, as a matter of fact. You might use one of the others.`` With some grousing, the man moved back the way he`d come, muttering about the insensitivity of today`s airline personnel and how some people had a lot to learn about emergencies.

Moisture was beginning to show through the back of Jameson`s shirt. ``If we seem ill prepared for this, sir, it`s because it simply never happens, you know. Never.``

I managed to get the edge of my pry-bar under the lip of the door knob and gave a push. It shot off, narrowly missing one of the ladies.

``Hey!`` Joyce called from inside. ``I don`t know what I did but my door knob fell off in here. Does the captain . . . the pilot know about this?``

``Yes, madam,`` said Jameson. ``He knows. Believe me, he knows.``

A voice trying to sound assured and friendly came on the public address system announcing that there might be a brief delay before the plane would enter the landing pattern at Heathrow due to a technical difficulty.

Jameson levered an opening at the bottom of the door and I got my fingers in next to it and started pulling.

``Hey!`` Joyce called. ``I know those fingers. Bob, you be careful. Two of those are your typing fingers.`` I pulled my hand out. The door was too springy anyway.

``As a matter of fact,`` Jameson said, ``I do know of one other lady being trapped in the loo. My mother.``

For a moment we forced the blade of the prying tool into the crack of the door. We both gave it a mighty push and it popped right out again. The two lady flight attentants both said, ``Ohhh,`` with disappointment.