Monday, January 7, 2013

The Raid: Redemption

The Raid didn’t realize it was a dumb
movie. Nor did it feel inclined to present a single entertaining fight. I know
why I’m here. So after an hour in on this hour and forty minute film and I have
seen three fights, I’m pissed. Please don’t fake tension when your own trailer
shows Homeboy slamming people into walls nonstop.

The action
is overly choreographed. To the point that the lead will run to his mark, hands
raised in anticipation of an assailant that hasn’t entered the scene yet. Every
punch is pulled. It feels like a weird game of hand-slap. You don’t need any
strength or force! Just lightly touch the man’s arm who is attempting to punch
you and he’ll stop. Every few seconds someone needs to break the monotony of
hand-slap so throws happen. How nice that any man here is capable of flipping
another over his head using just his fingers. Don’t bend your knees or anything
you assholes. One action sequence feels like any other. Just elbows and knees
flying. No simultaneous attacking! A hallway full of guys steps forward, one at
a time, pitches their hideously telegraphed, in-no-way-even-if-it-hit-could-it-do-any-real-damage,
strike, then SuperCop slaps them ten times real quick and they fall down. Even
the climatic 2v1 fight at the end
adheres to the above mentioned rules of combat.

Credit
to the production crew for creating every set out of balsa wood