I see, so Tara Fitzgerald is still glamorous Eve Lockhart off Waking the Dead but now she's got her own spin-off show. And her own forensic facility, which operates from a farmhouse, weirdly. There are labs and biospheres but also a nice cosy farmhouse kitchen where Eve and the team share hearty cooked breakfasts together after long nights of cutting-edge investigation. Kinda CSI meets Emmerdale meets The Eden Project. And it's called The Body Farm (BBC1). Whooooaa Body Farm, Body Farm for you! Did they not think of that when they named it? (And can you get the tune out of your head now that I've mentioned it? Sorry.)

A call comes in, it's Lily Allen's dad; he's playing a fed. He's got a situation at a derelict tower block, there are human remains sprayed all round the walls, flies everywhere, he's out of his depth, almost literally, in body parts, whoooaaa body parts … Shut up!

So Eve hops in the Land Rover and comes on over, while we listen to her thoughts, and her philosophy. "This is my promise to the victim: I will do everything it takes to unlock the mechanism of your murder, because that is where your killer is hiding from justice."

Soon she's elbowed the police out of the way, and is running the investigation herself. Her team finish up their home-cured bacon and free-range eggs and come on over to help, dead excited. Total carnage, yay!

Turns out it was a sophisticated bomb that made the mess. Surely made by the ex-bomb disposal soldier in revenge for the assault on his daughter? No, it was young Nathan in fact; and he picked up his bomb-making know-how just by chatting to the old soldier. Tell us about the time you were in the army, and I'll just take detailed notes when you get to the explosions …

Nathan's trial presents the opportunity for some more out-loud thoughts from Eve. "People confuse justice with revenge, but there is no revenge in justice, and when justice comes it doesn't always come the way we want it to," she thinks/says.

Yeah, do pipe down. I don't really believe Eve Lockhart as a character. Or as a top forensic scientist. She's too impulsive, too moody and romantic, too damn glam. And her thinking-out-loud philosophising is just a bit irritating. Nor do I believe Keith Allen as a copper – he's too Keith Allen, even when he's trying to be less Keith Allen. The whole farm thing is a bit odd too. Oooh arrgh, mangelwurzels and DNA swabs. It's all utterly daft really. Amusing, and quite good fun, but daft.

So, if The Body Farm is to believed, I should easily be able to make my own highly sophisticated explosives just by watching The Bomb Squad (BBC1). We're with the British army in central Helmand province, and in particular we're with a young soldier called Adam. Adam, who looks a bit like Steven Gerrard, is a very personable, realistic, self-aware young man, with a lovely wife and daughter back home. He also has possibly the worst job in the world – he's a real-life bomb disposal operator.

There's a brutal gnawing tension that hangs over this fly-on-an-IED-pressure-plate documentary. Adam's searchers creep forwards gingerly, with their dogs and the metal detectors. Then when they find something, Adam goes in with his helmet camera on. He gently brushes away at the dust to find the wires, does what he has to do. It's impossible not to think there's going to be a big bang any second. I found it almost impossible to watch, for an hour. These guys live it, for six months.

The big bang comes. Adam's OK, but Alex, one of the searchers, isn't (if there's one job that's worse than bomb disposal operator, it's searcher). Alex, who's just 20, loses both his legs, and an arm. Not his life though, and now, back in England with his missus and his three little girls, his attitude is extraordinary. "I see it as a new lease of life, a new way of looking at things," he says. "It's just another challenge isn't it, everyone needs a challenge, otherwise what do you live for, know what I mean?"

It might be difficult viewing, but it's also important, as it does give you some idea what it's actually like out there. There have been plenty of films out of Afghanistan but this is the first time the MoD has allowed a bomb squad to be filmed. For which it should be applauded. But save most of your applause for Adam and Alex and the rest of them. For being bloody heroes.