IS EQUALITY A FAVOR?

Equality between men and women has been a long-term topic which crops up here and there, with some supporting in favor that equality has indeed been achieved, while some points that, modernism in the world does not even begin to cover equality.

While the world is divided on this topic, from my own personal experiences of these 22 years, equality is a term which people have not even begun to comprehend to the full extent. Equality between men and women doesn’t mean are so ‘generous’ as to ‘give’ the women equality as some sort of ‘favor’. Only when it comes naturally to people, just like we brush your teeth daily. It is not something that people has to do consciously, though at the beginning the need to develop the quality must essentially be started like that.

And to the men, who boast that, they treat their women equally, it is not something to feel proud of. Do you feel proud to provide food for your family? Like everything which is of a necessity, it is something that needs to be put in ‘default mode’.

There is no greater male chauvinist than a man who boasts of treating women around him equally.

Hmm I understand what you’re saying but not entirely sure I agree with the ‘boasting’ issue. I agree that treating all as equal should be instinctive and not something condescendingly ‘special’. But I also know, with 46 years on this planet, that sexism runs both ways. Men also suffer a lot of chauvinism. Now the imbalance is greater in many Asian countries – so the fight for equality for WOMEN in Bangladesh, for instance, is vitally important and often a case of life or death for many – but in the Western world the principle of equality has been enshrined for decades. The result is not that there’s no sexism at all but that sexism against men has risen sharply. It comes in all forms and it means a lot of suffering for men because there’s still the image that a man has to ‘man up’ and suffer it in silence. Suicides among men have worryingly risen fast in recent years.

The point to this preamble is that if a woman says to me some remark about ‘men’ I won’t launch into a tirade against her calling her so ‘sexist’ and how she should be ashamed of her prejudices. It’s just an off-the-cuff remark and no big deal. But the same isn’t the same for me. Even a non-existent hint of some comment about women can be enough for me to be attacked about a ‘supposed sexism’ just because I’m a man and it is assumed I am sexist.

In those situations, men are often forced to qualify themselves and prove they are not sexist. Indeed, I don’t know how you will respond to this but previous experience suggests there’s a good chance that even though you don’t know me you will suggest that the comments to which I allude were probably sexist and maybe I need to check my own attitude and admit I’m sexist. I hope you won’t and I’m not prejudging you (because I don’t know you, and that’s the point) but it’s happened to me before. If you DO attack me that way then I will have to ‘boast’ of numerous reasons and demonstrations of why I’m not sexist – to fill you in effectively about who I am and what I stand for.

So for many men, who are decent and treat women the same as men not as something special but just as a normal thing to do, they are still forced to justify themselves so often that it might become an instinctive reaction to ‘boast’. Sometimes sure, you’re right, it’s boasting and is still a form of sexism. But often it’s actually the result of sexist attitudes which men have had to endure all their lives.

The perspective of what you have expressed is justified as someone as a representative of men, in ways by which men also come under the sexist attack. My view is not to address the prejudices that men face, rather it is about what I face day to-day and those type of men are definitely not those who ‘boast’ to just justify themselves.

That’s fair enough and, of course, completely valid and I felt certain that the men you were thinking of indeed were demonstrating the chauvinism of which you speak. I did however, feel the need for completeness hence my comment! 🙂