Seriously, folks! Why is it that the gravy served with those mashed potatoes at KFC is frickin’ beef gravy? Why can’t you at least ask for a chicken-based gravy to go with those not-that-great mashed taters! Bulldog just cannot understand how this came to be… Just can’t. For real.

I’m doing what all Floridians are doing today: hunkering down in my apartment, waiting for Hurricane Matthew to pass.

I starting preparing a few weeks ago. I’ve always stashed batteries, candles and that sort of thing; I’ve got battery-powered lanterns aplenty, a good digital radio and something most folks here never get: battery-powered fans.

And food. I’ve got lots of canned food. And plenty of bread, buns and bagels, all of them whole grain. Butter, jams, cream cheese. Pre-cooked sausage, a fair amount of lunch meat and cheese and ten day’s worth of brown rice cooked and ready to eat. (I love my version of vegetable fried rice; believe it or not, it works quite well with brown rice.)

I’m certainly not going to starve! Did I forget to mention peanut butter? No pantry is complete without some!

We’ve lost power five times so far but got it back within four or five minutes. And even though I’m about as well-prepared as one can be, I am hoping we’ll dodge the bullet and not end up using all that battery-powered stuff we’ve stashed away! I guess we’ll see…

I lost power for three days when Charley came calling twelve years ago. Didn’t lose it with Frances or Jeanne. Whoa! Just lost it again! Okay, it’s back on now. That was for 30 seconds or so…

I think I better publish this post, as my laptop will be fine for a few hours if we lose the juice and don’t get it back, but I’d have no internet connection, of course! I’ll do that in just a moment.

If you’re here in the Sunshine State, too, I hope you’re riding out this storm in fine style. If you’re in Brevard County or the other parts of our Peninsula where folks were told to evacuate, I know this sucks even worse for you and yours. Here in Orange County, we’re not doing too badly.

Stay safe! And remember, another calamity will strike the citizens of our fine state in about 72 hours from now: we’ll all have to show up at work on Monday morning! Yikes!

Bulldog barks: I love Dave Barry. Read one his columns for the first time at least 30 years ago and I swear he’s even funnier these days. If you spend three minutes reading Dave’s explanation about why the Sunshine State is so damn weird–funny weird–you’ll have put your three minutes to very good use. Over to you, Mr. Barry:

It has more than its share of craziness, but it’s never boring—and it’s still the best place in the country to live, says longtime Floridian Dave Barry

It’s the first of September and I have some pleasant thoughts associated with this particular milestone in our annual journey. It means college football is about to start. That’s a marvelous thing. I look forward to it each year.

It means that Labor Day and cooler temps are right around the corner. Love both of those things, bring it on!

But it’s also true that when I see the first of September roll around, I think of Hitler invading Poland. Yeah, I do that. That reveals two very significant things about me: the first, that I’m a boomer and so many of us had Dads who served in WW II. So that whole “Nazis streaming over the border” thing isn’t as bizarre as it may seem.

Well, that and the fact that I minored in history and have studied that conflict and our Civil War in a serious way; those things factor in, too.

So the second thing that pervasive thought reveals about me is that I do worry about stuff more than most folks and more than I should, truth be told. Not in the sense that I think we’re about to be invaded, but just that I often see the darker side of things in general; I’m more inclined to see the potential for trouble, drama and disappointment rather than the “good stuff” which may happen as I navigate some new juncture on life’s path.

It would have been much better for me if Hitler had chosen the 2nd of September to send his Panzer divisions and Storm Troopers across the Polish frontier; that date would not have bored its way so deeply into my grey matter!

Two things I’m going to do today to get past this less-than-rosy recollection: get focused back on the arrival of those crisp Autumn days, and reach for a beer!That’ll work!

I just can’t believe this. Oh my God! No frickin’ java for our Olympic athletes? Well, even though it’s hard to take in, this incredible story is true. I’ve found Mother Jones to be a reliable source of news on the internet. And it’s Mother Jones that came up with this mind-blowing scoop. I can’t face the morning without at least one scoop.

It seems that Coca-Cola is the villan here. You can get lots of Coke at the games; but not one cup o’ Joe. Not a good state of affairs. If I were one of our intrepid olympians, I wouldn’t stand for it.

The internet is chock-full of cartoons on any topic you can imagine and there is no shortage of cartoons about “Don the Con”. Meaning Donald Trump, of course.

The offerings here on the site for U.S. News are good. And they’re Bulldog Approved. Have a look if you’re so inclined.

Unfortunately, Mr. Trump’s real life antics are not so funny. Put me on the list of people who could never understand how so many Americans were giving him a pass on all the bizarre “stuff” he was spouting; it now seems that there are limits to this license and he’s exceeded those limits many times in the last couple of weeks.

He’s tanking in the polls so quickly that many among his loyal followers can’t believe it. Poor Donald. Looks less and less likely that the Big, Angry Cheeto is going to be taking up residence in the White House in January. What a pity.