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Yesterday at approximately 8:40 pm I stumbled upon a scene that led me into the seedy world of arborists and foliage. I was outside, innocently waiting for my dog to finish conducting business with the lawn, when I stumbled upon this horrific sight. Be warned – this image is not for the faint of heart.

That, my pretties, is a tree limb. I know. I am still getting over the shock. It was laying on our fence, gasping for life, hanging on to the threads of leafy goodness. We did what we could, but it was too late.

But Leroy the Limb will get justice. My crack team and I have done some initial research into this issue and have put together a list of likely suspects:

Suspect #1: The Neighbor’s Tree

Ah, yes. A tree of unknown background, swaying carelessly in the wind. Is its carelessness due to its innocence? Or is it because it knows we’ll never get enough evidence to prove its guilt? There is a broken off limb on this tree, but it is conveniently too high to investigate at this time. Well-played, tree. Well-played.

Suspect #2: Our Tree

A tree of three trunks, this particular tree already has some scars from previous incidents. It sits with arrogance, daring someone to cut it down – what does it care; it has two extra trunks. The perfect candidate to cover up a heinous crime.

Suspect #3: Michigan

Like this one needs any more explanation.

So, who was it? The Neighbor’s Tree with the missing limb? Our Tree, with its arrogant extra trunks and bad attitude? Our dog, who generally causes destruction everywhere he goes?

Stay tuned as we delve deep into the world of trees, plants, and justice.