Dedicated to the proposition that all chipmunks are edible -- pass the grey poupon!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Constable Bailey, on Patrol!

Dear Friends:

With St. Paddy's Day three days away, and the threat of general chaos, disorder, and inebriation, it has become my responsibility to ensure the security of my estate. Desperate times require desperate measures. Constable Bailey, at your service!

There have been rumors of drunken airedales in the neighborhood. Heavens--have they no respect for the public repose?

I think it's time to strike terror into the heart of that subversive Jack Russell terrier next door. One stern glance, and he'll be a quivering mass of gelatinous protoplasm!

An important element of my technique is the IMW (Intermittent, Muted Woof).

Watch this!

This ensures that any reprobate squirrel or nefarious feline knows that these premises are protected by Kerry Blue Security. It took years of training to master the glottal stop requisite to the "muted woof" technique. It subliminally communicates unspeakable terror by unleashing a program in the prefrontal cortex that replays all known episodes of "Gilligan's Island."

At the end of the day, I turn over my security duties to my primate mom and take a well-earned break.

Maybe a pint o' Guinness might not be that bad.

I love my work, but even constables have to let their hair down every so often.

6 comments:

Bailey, I just noticed your sign for me to send summer to you. Crikey, you'll have to wait until the end of the year now in which case you'll have your own summer well before then. Sigh, I wish I'd noticed it earlier.You're doing a fine job as constable btw. You look very official in your red jacket.

I, for one, will sleep better knowing you're on the job, so thank you, Constable Bailey, for the good work you do. And as for your IMW, which I just now heard through mia ragazza's copooter ...wait, feeling all woozy ... there's this music ... A THREE HOUR TOUR, A THREE HOUR TOUR ...mama mia! What's happening in my piccolo limone brain.... ?!?

Have you discovered which drunken Airedales have been causing all the ruckus, Bailey? We can assure you that it wasn't us!That is one serious beard you're sportin'! Make sure you keep it out of the Guinness tomorrow!

le Nez du Jour

l'Autre Nez du Jour

About Us

We are Ms.Bailey Blue's pups, and we live with our dog and hu-momm & dad and human brother and sister too.. Oh, let's not forget the birdeez, Twinkie the
lovebird and a couple of owl finches -- Cindy Lou Whooo and Maxx Whooo.
We live in Connecticut, USA, where we hunt chipmunks and terrorize squirrels and catch a bird or two in flight...try to dig a hole in the garden that will reach either Australia or China.

Hey, we've got our own blog, and Mom doesn't even suspect!

You might not think this is too unusual, but Buster's holding the mouse while I type with my nose. I'm Persephone, the Dark Goddess of the Underworld, and I can do things you humans can only imagine.

We're Kerry Blue Terriers, the official dog of that sainted Emerald Isle. It was rumored that our ancestors swam ashore from the foundering Spanish Armada in 1588 and mated with the local folks. Since I'm a Goddess, I know that's bunk. Zeus did it. Right Buster?

"Wmmfff."

Buster's a bright boy. He's just learning to read.

Anyway, this blog is for our friends out there--especially the Kerry Blues who have to wait until their human friends sign off and go to bed before they can use the computer. If you're a Wheaten terrier or an Airedale, you're welcome to drop in. Come to think of it, if you're a dog, you're welcome. Okay, humans too!