Thursday, August 6, 2009

get euthanized

I'm pretty pissed off right now. Actually, I've been pretty pissed off. It seems that over the past maybe 6-9 months, heckyeahwoman has started watching the different "Real Housewives of" series. To my knowledge, there are three (3) of them: OC, New Jersey, and Atlanta. We seem to have been watching them in that order.

It all started when we would eat dinner, she'd flip on the TV, and somehow the OC series would magically appear on the boob tube. More like the fake boob tube lol. It was horrible (the fake boobs weren't horrible - they were awesome), but eventually I warmed up...because not only were most of the housewives hot as hell, but their daughters were hot too. I ain't mad at hot chicks. But still, these boxes were dumb as rocks. Arguing over the most petty shit, and just being stupid twats.

Like, who lives like that? All they do is sit around, be hot, go to the pool, shop, and argue. To be fair, at least a couple of them are somewhat classy, and didn't embarrass themselves on national television. They live privileged lives, and didn't do anything to earn it.

My analysis: these animals should be caged for at least part of the day.

In a month or two, it seemed like the New Jersey episodes were on more. Bravo got sneaky this time, and snuck a fatty into the mix. The chicks aren't as hot, but some of the daughters still are! Still the same petty arguing, and a little bit more talk about 'being real', and other similar bullshit. The daughters seem to be a bit more spoiled, and overall, need death.

Their lives seem to be a little bit more worthless than the skanks from the OC. They do most of the same stuff the OC chicks do, but add in a little more poor parenting, and sprinkle in some more uselessness.

My analysis: these animals belong in a zoo.

And yet, in another couple months, the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" starts getting replaced with nightly viewings of "Real Housewives of Atlanta". Holy shit, what I thought couldn't get any worse, did. The nonstop crying about being 'real' takes human worthlessness to entirely new levels. Lol @ calling someone a 'fake-ass bitch'...and being 100% serious about it. Like somebody somehow is some sort of human imposter.

I love when one of them will say something about how classy they are, like, "I'm classy, bitch!" Actually, if you have to tell somebody that you're classy, you're probably not classy.

Most of the broads are married to professional sports stars. One lady is rich because she divorced some football player, lol. Get this - she's starting her own clothing line; but, uh...she can't sew. She just draws sketches of what she wants the clothes to look like, then she has someone else design them. Holy lol. Hey, I don't really write these blogs, I just pay somebody to "come up with something awesome every day". And they're all pulling crap like that.

These absolutely horrible animals take all the shittiness of the broads from both previous "Real Housewives" shows, and toss in liberal amounts of gold digging, about as much petty bullshit as possible, and just general nonstop crying about something.

My analysis: these animals need to be put down asap

Bravo, please take this shit off the airwaves. This is what's wrong with Amurrrica.

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tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.