It's almost time for kids to start getting their back-to-school gear in order, and even though this fantastic laser-engraved wooden machete ruler will most certainly be instantly confiscated by a teacher, you still need to send your children to school prepared for anything.

It doesn't matter if it's a pop quiz that involves measuring shapes, or the chance their fellow students have all turned into brain-hungry zombies. The last thing you want is to be chastised at the next parent-teacher meeting for not properly equipping your young'n. So for just $20 this 12-inch ruler will have them prepared for almost any perdicament. Although, like my father always said, "if it's a problem that can be solved by swinging a giant blade, it's not a problem." That man solved a lot of problems before the FBI finally caught up with him.