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Loving it: Celebrity sex clinic: Relight those fires

The cute one, the cheeky one, the scruffy one, the fit one and the ugly one: Take That were successful because, despite the squeaky-clean image, there was someone for every sexual fantasy. Grannies could imagine patting Gary on the head before taking out their teeth and letting passion run its course. Chaste preteens could play doctor with the boyish Mark. Howard — silent and unwashed — fulfilled the gamekeeper fantasy, while muscular dancer Jason mesmerised with his snake hips.

Finally, naughty Robbie was on hand to take the virginity of any 16-year-olds who were still intact. Even 10 years on, the mental images are vivid. Recent revelations mean fans now know that while they were thinking about it, Take That were actually doing it. The boys had their fill of sex, booze and drugs. But it doesn’t matter. However “nice” a boyband looks, it’s the filth they inspire that sells records. Lads,