Weak

Jesse James has issued a public apology. My mother is an unforgiving bitch. She can hold a grudge forever. And she has that horrible habit of bringing sh-t up forever, like almost 15 years later, she’ll still throw it in my face the time when I was dating that guy and didn’t take her to the doctor and took money from her and went snowboarding instead and what a prick he was and how I wasted a year and a half of my life on his sorry ass.

It’s not a particularly kind or gracious approach. But she does have a point. Forgiveness these days comes too easily. TOO easily. Someone says sorry, cries a little, we’re supposed to completely absolve them.

Oh no. Not in my house.

In my house you f-cking grovel. And you prove it. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes months. But it’s never immediate and it’s never pretty. The Squawking Chicken says that’s how you learn. So that one day you don’t have to apologise. Because you won’t be getting to that point where you need to apologise.

One day when I was 14 or so, and stayed out too late on my bike in Hong Kong, my ma said to me that my apology was inconveniencing her. My apology was putting pressure on her to forgive me, and she was already feeling pressure from my transgression in the first place, and so I was now doubling her discomfort. In her twisted way it kinda makes sense. When you are the recipient of an apology, you can’t stay mad anymore. It’s easier to be only angry than to work through that anger and come to forgiveness. WORK. It requires work. Why should the victim be working? This is what my mother means.

And this is what Sandra Bullock is going through now. Now that Jesse is begging, privately and publicly, for forgiveness. Judging from his words, it’s a weak ass attempt. The f-ck does this mean? "The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment. There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."

F-ck you the vast majority untrue and unfounded. Whatever. He’s not suing and there’s no denial. Translation: you did it motherf-cker. And there’s probably more. And you are a loser. And you cocked it up with a fine, fine lady. A fine lady who is now getting blamed in some circles for BEING TOO SUCCESSFUL.

What?

Indeed.

I’ve received a few emails about it myself. About the fact that Sandy “should have been there more for her man because a man has needs and his wife needs to provide them”.

And Lindsay A was reading the comments over at People.com and she sent me this enlightening post by a woman who obviously feels that Sandy had no right to, like, be really great at her job.

"It's the same situation as Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet. The women win the Academy Award then they split from their husbands.Why? I think for 2 reasons: The men feel upstaged by their more successful wives or the men want or need a wife, not an equal partner, primary breadwinner or Super Woman/FemiNazi. We live in the 21st century but when it comes to family, tradition still rules (thank GOD). Women may need or want to work. But if they put work ahead of family - when they choose a golden statue over family, there is a very good chance those families may be torn apart. Call it right or wrong - it's just how it is. When you marry, you must decide what's more important - your career or your spouse and family. And if Jesse was unfaithful to Sandra, then ponder this: Maybe Sandra wasn't home enough. Maybe he's a pig - I don't know; I wasn't there. But he was unfaithful and another family is ripped - because of a woman's career. She's a FOOL"