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TAKE YOUR CONDOM TO THE CONDOMINIUM

This is the era of Smart Things. Smart Phones, Smart TV, Smart Refrigerators, Smart Toilets., etc. With today’s wearables, we track fitness, sleep quality, and now, ‘bedmatic gymnastix’. The smart madness has been taken a notch higher – with the smart ‘condom’ .

It is actually a misnomer to call this electronic device a condom, as it is not one (condoms are protective sheaths to protect against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs,). This performs no such function.

This ‘condom’ – called i.Con – is an i.Conic device that tries to .Con you into thinking it is a condom with its name. i.Con is a connected device that measures sexual performance by connecting to an app on a smartphone, through bluetooth. i.Con uses a nano-chip and sensors to measure and record data, then transmits it to the app.

The BRITISH CONDOM website proudly pronounces ,

The Future Of Your Sex Life Starts Here

Apart from the yet unverified claim of detecting STIs, what exactly is the usefulness of this? Bragging in beer parlors / online, about piston speed, or what?

In tandem with almost everything becoming more and more connected, it is the turn of the condom to be in sync with the digital age .

BRITISH CONDOMS, a British company specializing in condom design, has released its first digital condom, i.Con – a ring that stays / fits at the base of the traditional condom and fits all sizes.

Very light and water resistant, the ring measures different data regarding your sexual performance. It informs you about the speed and number of thrusts, the calories burned during the act, the circumference and temperature of the phallus, the duration of sessions and the different positions used. Perhaps most interestingly, the option to detect syphilis and chlamydia.

How exactly it detects STD has not been illuminated..

The data gets transmitted via bluetooth and the companion mobile application processes things. You may optionally share this data with friends, or with the general public, if you are the bragging type to compare your sexual performance with / to that of others .

This i.Con costs about $74. Condoms. In a country like Nigeria, with a minimum wage of $50/month, clearly very very few people would likely be rushing to get this, but then, what do I know?

Slowly but surely, almost everything that can be digitalized now are being made so. At the and of the day, it is all about efficiency in daily living, and top marks for the condom that is not a condom, if it can truly detect STIs.