Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Quilting is a Love/Hate Relationship

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I hate quilting.

OK, I know that in some circles that's blasphemy, but it isn't that kind of "hate."

Now, we may be getting into semantics here, but there are different kinds of hate. I can say I hate cilantro, (which I do), but it isn't some horrible thing, I just don't like the stuff. Of course, there's the kind of hate that sends people into rages and causes all kinds of chaos and heartache, but that's not what I'm talking about either.

What I am talking about is the kind of "hate" teenagers feel for their parents. Let's face it, sometimes they don't like us very much. Usually it has something to do with us raining on their parade in some way. "No, you can't wear that, no, you can't go there, no, you can't play any more video games"....you know what I mean. For a teenager, these obstructions to their "freedom" bring them to the "I hate you" place.

As far as quilting goes for me, I have such a passion for it that sometimes it gets turned on it's head. I love it like crazy, but there are times when I get so frustrated that I want to scream "I hate you" and run into my room, slam the door, and crank up my tunes.

I don't know about you but sometimes I work very hard on something only to realize that it isn't what I thought it would be. I think about all the time I spent on it and it gets me wound up. I keep telling myself what I know is true; that there is no wasted time because every project, no matter how nasty, is a learning experience. However, it's still discouraging and often brings on my grown up hissy fit.

I have gone through long periods of my life when I haven't sewn at all. There was a freedom about that time that I liked, but I also felt deprived. I've written before about my passion for quilting, and it's so true. I can deny it, but it's always there, taunting me, whispering to me from the mounds of fabric....."you know you want me, you know you can't help yourself, you know that no matter how hard it can be that I'm the passion for you....."

And so, like a recalcitrant teen, I turn off my tunes, come out of my room and head down to dinner....as if nothing ever happened. I might have said "I hate you" but I don't, not really...

Of course I don't really hate quilting. It's just that it's one of those things in my life that I can't get away from. It's always there in the back of my head, and sometimes I wish it would go away for a while and leave me in peace.

But I know that it won't, it can't, it's too much a part of who I am as a person. I can take a break, but it always calls me back. Besides, that dinner smells pretty good.....