Most of us age gracefully and accept the obligatory office birthday cake or impromptu birthday cake at a friends house with dignity. However, if you are the party planner for a Grumpy Gus, why not give them the sentiment they want and deserve?

Our Happy F*cking Birthday Candles accomplish this with a not so subtle message that says: We know you don't like birthdays, but we need our cake sugar fix, so shut the eff up and pretend you're having fun so we can eat cake.

Everybody put down your phones and smile so we can eat this thing already!