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Im sorry that he cut things off so abruptly. I hope that things with you improve.

__________________

I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here...
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am
The luckiest..
~ Ben Folds five ~

I was so happy at the start of this read. Then realized that was months ago. I'm sorry he pulled the vanishing act. I have had that happen and it's worse than the dramatic breakup. So many questions left unanswered. It is his loss dear, whether that loss be in the relationship itself or the inability to face his own demons by giving you closure. I hope you are doing well in the healing process.

I'm ambivalent on whether it's better to have somebody disappear or have them lower the boom in person. I've been through both and they each leave questions unanswered.

I quit expecting people to hang around forever a long time ago and that's made such things easier for me, I suspect. I'm pleased they were around as long as they were and enjoy the memories of that. I try not to waste much time on wondering why they took off. I think it also helps me to appreciate those folks who insist on hanging around.

I wish I could get that mentality 7thCrow. I've had quite a few friends suddenly disappear from my life and I really and truly have no idea why. I can't recall doing anything wrong or saying anything that would have driven them off. I do understand that people come into our lives and can leave just as quickly, but that hasn't seemed to help yet.

__________________

Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.

I was dissapointed that David avoided the return of my two phone messages (he wouldn't pick up), but it wasn't a dramatic surprise, as he told me to my face that he has trouble "committing" to relationships, friend-type or otherwise. I'd have liked to have him at least join Kevin & I on a hike now and then. But the boy has some "issues" with friendship and intimacy, and I knew that. So it wasn't a dramatically painful loss, and besides, we never really did get very close--although it was nice to share some brief affection.

__________________"Love is always a matter of learning how to live in an unknown land."

Some of my old not-so-happy and not-so-healthy habits have reasserted themselves, though perhaps not as bad as it had once been.

ah, I know this one as well. There are times when I have been on top of the world - feeling so good about myself I feel like I could fly, that everything is ok and even my problems I am happy about because they are being solved a little every day, that progress is happening.

Realizing progress is something to definitely be joyful about. But at the same time falling back into old habits or ways of thinking can put a damper on a person's mood.

At least you have some ideas of things you could do to get back "on it" so to speak. Best of wishes to you!

It isn't that some old not-so-happy habit patterns in my "emotional body" aren't still triggered or active at all, however. It's just that the peace, joy, freedom, happiness..., is now the container in which these are held and healed. Also, I don't act them out so much, those old less-than-happy emotional patterns/energies.

So, overall, I'm just very, very happy -- and I'm causing less unhappiness in others around me. Indeed, they are also healing and growing in this same light.

I am going to print and laminate this along with your other post that starts with "(r)evolutionary shift." I want to carry this with me to remind me what I am working toward. I will credit you, of course :-) Thank you for the inspiring words.

Today I begin writing a collection of essays for publication -- a project that I've had in my lap to do for many years. Title: Integrity, Resiliency & Joy. This is a day of breakthrough insights and inspiration for me -- and your appreciation of some of my words comes at just the right time. May you have integrity, resiliency and (especially) joy in your unfolding days and moments! And thanks again!

__________________"Love is always a matter of learning how to live in an unknown land."