Geeks and politics

Entries tagged with parody

After watching that speech, I’m very impressed. I had no idea he had been a POW. Wasn’t that a startling revelation? How brave to announce that you were a POW on national TV. Heck, I didn’t even know there was a war called Vietnam. I didn’t know that one plus one is two, or that oil is used to make energy. We should get more of that oil stuff. I hear it’s really good.

I also learned that years ago Washington was taken over by a bunch of crazypeople that spend, spend, spend. I gotta find out who’s run Congress the majority of the last 15 years and vote against whatever party that was. They can’t possibly be trusted to own the Whitehouse.

I’m ready! I’m pumped! Let’s start campaigning for John McCain!

Oh, and that VP. She’s so smart. Did you know that women can do anything men can do?

Here’s a clip of her:

Oh wait, that’s another woman that the GOP used then threw away when she wasn’t needed.

On Tuesday, McCain’s return to his old high school in Alexandria, Virginia, was not welcomed by all.A student in the crowd asked him, “We’re told this isn’t a political event, so what exactly is your purpose in being here?”McCain shot back, “I knew I should have cut this thing off. This meeting is over.”Republicans who CNN contacted said they have mixed feelings about whether this [tour] is the best use of McCain’s time.

He then ran into the crowd, grabbed the young child and started beating him. The boy, stunned at Senator McCain’s actions screamed out, “help me! help me! the old man has gone batty!”

Secret service agents weren’t sure what to do, as they are supposed to protect the candidate, not the audience.

Finally a concerned parent wrestled the boy away from Senator Hothead who was reported to be yelling, “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you with my Edsel”, a reference to a brand of automobile that hasn’t been manufactured in decades.

McCain later made a statement that the boy carried some kind of magical device that might have been filled with demons of various colors. Analysts believe he may have been talking about the child’s hand-held Gameboy.

Later McCain refuted this, claiming that there’s no way a “computer” could be so small it fits in your hand.

“Karl Bode of Broadband Reports takes aim at supposed telecom experts and think tankers who profess to love the ‘free market,’ but want to ban the country’s un-wired towns and cities from offering broadband to their residents. If you didn’t know, incumbent providers frequently determine towns and cities unprofitable to serve (fine), but then turn around and lobby for laws that make it illegal to serve themselves (not so fine). They then pay experts to profess their love for a free market and deregulation — unless that regulation helps their bottom line. A simple point: ‘Strange how such rabid fans of a free-market wouldn’t be interested in allowing market darwinism to play out.’”

Gosh I just finish one LJ post to my libertarian brothers and then I see this on Slashdot? Sheesh. There is no irony in what is listed above! The towns that want to offer free WiFi are ruining the free market because it is social engineering: Towns that provide free WiFi are trying to actively attract high-tech businesses to their town. That’s government social engineering! If they just did nothing, the free market would play out and companies would decide which town to move to without government intervention. Which, by the way, means a little place called “anywhere else”.

Proponents claim that the cost of providing WiFi is so low that a government can provide it to an entire town for considerably less money than the tax revenue that will be gained from companies moving to their town. Yes, that’s right... it’s all about getting more taxes so they can have more big government programs... like schools and fire houses and who knows what else... possibly more money for police to “fight crime” (which we all know is a code word for “stopping the free market”).

You’d think all the unemployed people in those towns would have enough free time to protest against such government craziness.

Bush, Jr. has yet again provided strong proof that libertarian ideals work better than anything else. For months he’s done nothing, which is all the government should do, and now Korea has agreed to return to the table to talk. Sure, you might say, “but now they have nukes! we have no negotiating leverage!” but the important thing is that we did nothing, and they’re back at the table. The less government gets involved, the sooner things get fixed.

You see, because we did nothing, we let market forces take care of the situation. China, Japan and Europe stepped in and did the job for us. You see? By letting the market forces take over, the problem got solved. In fact, now it’s pretty well established that the EU and China can take care of all international problems and the U.S. can shake off that old “most respected country in the world” thing that was such a bother.

If we had an ‘activist government’ there would have been meetings and airplane rides and all sorts of other costly things. Though governmental in-action, the market solved the problem. The only side-effect is that Korea has nukes, which I’m sure our critics will whine “that was exactly what we were trying to prevent” or some balderdash like that.

The same thing would work for poverty, education, and pollution. If government stopped trying to cure poverty, those people would die or move to some other county dumb enough to help them. Education? Bah, our companies can get all the smart people they need from other companies dumb enough to educate them. Why just the other day I spoke to a highly educated person in India when I called HP about a printer problem. The market solved the problem! Look at the recent spat of documentaries about how effectively the Christian Right is educating children without the government’s help, building up what they call “God’s Army”... isn’t that cute? Did you see the scene where the little boy lists all the kinds of people he hates? So adorable... his list must have included nearly everyone in the country. So inclusive! So adorable! And pollution. Oh, you stupid, stupid, stupid environmentalists. If the government stayed out of the business of trying to regulate what companies could put into the air, water, and ground, the market forces would solve the problem: soon people that cared about such things (and they are, I assure you, only a few) would move to some planet where they can enforce their own stupid rules. (and don’t get me started on the whole “green-house gas trading scam”... the government has to run that program, so obviously any positive results must be hiding the real problems.)

Let’s take a good hard look at Bush, Jr’s success with Korea and apply this to all areas of government. The next time you see a problem, don’t say, “the government should do something about that!” say, “Let’s hope the market forces find someone else who cares!”

Last week, if you remember, I posted about the FCC forcing Verizon and Bell South to change their prices and not let the market forces play out (I still contend that if people want to pay an extra $3/month for DSL, they should be able to vote with their monthly automatic payments that discourage people from actually reading the bill.)

People made the argument that I was misrepresenting the libertarian rhetoric. I’ve submitted their names to the party for censure since they are obviously not true libertarians if they can’t see the benefits of the free market at all costs. They should have their membership cards taken, burned, like the flags that we feel should be burnable.

The fundamental reality is that PEOPLE SHOULD BE FREE TO SIGN CONTRACTS WITHOUT GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE.

Last week we let the FCC get away with their communistic, fascist price controls. We have simply emboldened the government to further encroach on our liberties. As you can see in this article the FTC has forced a software company from closing their doors. Why you crypto fascists may call them a “spyware outfit” or “scam artists” or people that make “misleading representations regarding the performance, benefits, features, cost, or nature or effect of any type of software code, file, or content”, I call these people freedom fighters.

Every one of their software products included a disclaimer which is a legally binding contract that said that by clicking on the “Send me free money” button the client would receive viruses, spyware, and corrupted hard disks in exchange for no actual money. If the government is going to stop this kind of thing, what kind of “Nanny State” are we going to build? If people don’t learn on their own to read contracts, they’ll just get in more trouble. If we feed the poor (like that communist Jesus said to do), then they’ll just never learn to feed themselves. If we tax adults to pay to educate the young, we’ll breed a generation of children that think that education is free, and therefore useless, and therefore won’t be able to get jobs.

One of the most fundamental freedoms in this county is the ability for two people to sign a contract without the government getting in the way. Letting petty things like, “fraud” and “identity theft” and “stealing grandmothers life savings” become excuses for letting tyranny creep into our lives, then eventually no business will be able to stay in business. Slippery slope! Slippery slope!

The FTC stopped a company that had made over $8 million dollars. To be honest, I think the government is just jealous of their success.

Please join me in writing to the FTC to demand that they stop impinging on the American right to freely conduct business.