Thursday, January 26, 2017

Daytime temperatures are forecast to be below the ‘normal’ of
minus five starting this weekend. Overnight lows will drop into the minus 10 to
15 ‘normal’ range.

Those forecast temperatures, although freezing and much more
wintery than the past two weeks, will not a normal winter make.

The normals used by weather reporting agencies are deceiving
because they are based on only the last 30 years of data. Thirty years takes us
back to the later 1980s, when global warming began to become significantly
noticeable. Before the 1980s, Haliburton County had harsher, more traditional
winters.

Up in this part of the country the only place they now record that information is at Muskoka airport and Bancroft. At Muskoka, the record keeping is hit and miss. In December, Muskoka missed recording its weather on 12 days. So far in January, it has missed four days.

“What’s going on in the Arctic is really very impressive; this year was ridiculously off the chart,” Gavin A. Schmidt, head of a unit of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration that tracks global temperatures, said in the New York Times recently.These wild changes in the Arctic climate will continue to impact us, notably in late winter. Forecasts done in the U.S. call for warmer than usual weather this coming February and March.Our local 14-day forecast calls for highs and lows in the minus six to minus 15 range. So far, no bursts of huge cold or heavy snowfalls are forecast.That doesn’t mean that we should expect a balmy ride into spring. Arctic cold fronts will continue to appear, bringing those bitter cold February and March days that were so common in the past. However, predictions are that we will see more milder days than usual in the coming weeks.So far the changing climate in our part of the world has not been devastating. This winter’s snowmobile season has not been the best, but it has not been a washout. This weekend’s return to colder temperatures should help to improve trails.Also, the ski season has had a good start with plenty of early snow.Weather forecasting has become progressively more accurate. The same cannot be said for weather recording.Environment Canada continues to cut back its historical weather record keeping. That’s the info that tells you the temperatures and precipitation amounts on each day of the month.Bancroft has done much better, not missing any days.Trying to figure out snowfall amounts has been almost impossible since Environment Canada stopped reporting snow depth on the ground. It now simply records daily total precipitation, rain or snow, in millimeters.

Climate change still is denied, or explained away, by too many
people including The Trumpeter, now Narcissist-in-Chief of the United States.
He says climate change is a hoax perpetrated by China to make the U.S. less
competitive.

However, the changeable winters we have seen in recent years
are increasingly explained by scientific data. Of the 17 hottest years in
earth’s recorded history, sixteen have occurred since 2000. Last year was our
planet’s third consecutive warmest year in recorded history.

There is more warmth and more change to come and we should be
prepared for it.

There seems to be pattern developing in our part of world.
Cool air moving over warm open waters, bringing heavy snowfalls at the start of
winter. Then January thaws increasingly warmer and longer than in the past.

February and March winter conditions seem to have been less
severe in recent times. Again, there is some scientific study to explain that
and to indicate that even milder late winters are coming.

A new study by Princeton University researchers says that northern
latitudes can expect more mild weather days. And, areas in the more southern
latitudes can expect fewer mild weather days, which are defined as pleasant
outdoor days with fewer heat extremes and less precipitation.

All this is tied to dramatic changes in the Arctic where temperatures
are said to be rising more quickly than other parts of the planet.

Temperatures last autumn were 20 to 30 degrees Fahrenheit
above normal in parts of the Arctic waters.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Through fantastic reporting, I have obtained Donald Trump’s presidential
inauguration speech. Obviously I can’t reveal how I got it, except to say that
brilliant reporting was involved.

So while the entire world waits with eyeballs glued to televisions you, dear
readers, have the speech now. Here it is:

My Fellow Americans. And, of
course, your lovely ladies as well.

Happy 2017 to all, including to my
many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t
know what to do. Sad! Very sad!

Welcome to you fans who have come
from all corners to witness this historic day. Great people out there. Like
Vlad Putin, in the second row, He’s a great guy and his girlfriend Alina Kabaeva has great legs.

Vlad is a leader. You know, unlike what we have in this
country.

One thing, though. He
is not as good looking as me. I mean do I look like a president? How
handsome am I, right? How handsome? You betcha!

I think it’s important that I say something never said here before: Many
scores and years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation,
conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created
equal.

Well, they got that wrong! Nobody is created equal. You have to know the
right people and work the dollars to get that way.

I’m going to
work at making a lot more people more equal. Nobody can do it better than me.

I have a great temperament for getting that done. My temperament
is very good, very calm. Everything I’ve done virtually has been a tremendous
success. In fact everything I have done actually has been tremendous.

I’m going to help the poor, because they need a lot
of help. I mean if they have been poor for so many generations, how smart can
they be? Basically they are morons and they need help.

I’m also going to do foreign affairs. Foreign
affairs, without the help of the State Department. The level of stupidity there is incredible. I'm telling you, I used to
use the word incompetent. Now I just call them stupid.

I’ll be consulting myself a lot.
Speaking with myself – No. 1 – because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a
lot of things.

I’ve already seen how our free
trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we
have stupid people.

There has been a bunch of snivelling about having
too many rich men, and too few women, in my administration.

I want to make clear
that I cherish women. I want to help women. I’m going to be able to do things
for women that no one else could do. They are going to love it.

(Pause as the
President summons an aide to bring him a pair of ear muffs).

That feels better. I
didn’t want my ears to get frostbitten on my first day as president.

You know all this
global warming talk was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S.
manufacturing non-competitive. Now any and all weather events are used by the
global warming hoaxsters to justify higher taxes to save our planet!

And of course there’s
the carbon footprint thing and the hole in the ozone thing. They say, don't use hair spray, it's bad
for the ozone. I want to use hair spray. I’ve got a fantastic head of hair and
I want to keep it in place. What’s more important, my hair or the ozone?

Hey, it really is getting cold outside. I see Hillary sitting out there in Row
236 and can hear her teeth chattering. She’ll warm up when we get her locked
up.

So that’s about it. I
want to cut this short because it really is getting cold. Half the country is
in a deep freeze. It’s a major freeze. Weeks ahead of normal.

Our planet is
freezing. Record low temps, and our scientists are stuck in ice.