BiTTER

2007 was my year. i was named Invention of the Year by Time Magazine. i was a breakthrough; beautiful, sleek, handheld. There was nothing else like me around. i was a trend-setter, a PiONEER! When i look back i knew my reign wasn’t going to last. With the slogan “This is only the beginning”, it would have been easy to see my days were numbered. But who wants to look down from the top.

And Him. Stu. Took me everywhere. Kept me close. i gave him his whole life, right at his fingertips! But he was just like the rest of them, reeking with the stench of wanting, of having the next best; bigger and better. Or in my case, lighter, faster, more streamlined. i should have known he would be the first in the next line.

It all came to an end. First the million dollar Superbowl ads and the full-page newspaper spreads; “The one you’ve been waiting for”, “Twice as fast and half the price”, and my personal favorite, “The most advanced is now more advanced”.

Then you came along. Yeah, you over there, sister. You were so smug, calling me slow poke, big boy, dinosaur. Well, look at us now. Not so high and mighty anymore, are you? Now we’re all in the same boat. Relegated to the back shelf, collecting dust. But, hey, I heard we may be going back out. Shhh, don’t say anything, but there could be clear acrylic show cases in our future, baby.

Ah, here he comes. Hey, tech-boy with the bad skin in the blue shirt. Put the Funyuns and 5hr Energy down and clean me off, I’m a show piece, I belong in a museum, where they’ll line up to see me again. Hey, wait, put the mini screwdriver down. She’s next, not me, wait, i — –