City Of San Francisco Takes a Dump On Residents

Amid the chaotic theme park jungle in the progressive laboratory of the Bay area, where women are men, and the homeless are homeowners, nobody is having any fun.

The epidemic of the vagrant industrial complex sweeping through the deep blue political districts of the west coast in transforming urban cores into living shelters and the intolerable presence of dog moms, has residents up their ears in procedural and literal excrement. Due to a plethora of human and canine waste carelessly strewn on city sidewalks and adjacent to the iconic cable cars, San Francisco officials have taken emergency action in formulating a task force devoted to cleaning up the mess, reports Fox News, and all on the dime of the tax payer.

Apparently, the “Poop Patrol”, armed with a steam cleaner, will search for and destroy every instance of a hot mess, in a lame attempt by city government to curry the favor of voters in preparation for the upcoming elections.

As local government entities in Portland, San Francisco, and Seattle deal with powerful unions and budget shortfalls due to lucrative pensions, raising the neon florescent welcoming banner to the homeless, has been the solution and mechanism of deflection in reallocating nearly a billion tax payer dollars to correct fiscal issues. The city by the Bay has reportedly allocated nearly $250 million to fix the self-inflicted problem, in having an absolutely zero perceptible positive effect in diminishing the cement wasteland of discontent.

Word has it the city will also launch a pilot program consisting of a team of spiritual shamans in attempting to reach a breakthrough with the atheist dog moms in taking accountability for the acts of their pooches.