Brazen Thief Flees With $200 Python Shoved Down His Pants

This dude has a long snake in his pants. And, no, that's not a euphemism.

A man walked into A to Z Pets in Portland, Ore. earlier this month and stole a $200 black pastel ball python by jamming it down his pants and then heading out of the shop. The unorthodox five-fingered discount was caught on surveillance camera.

Yes, this guy committed a crime, but let's give him a little credit. Do you know how hard it is to walk around with a snake in your pants without making it look like there's a snake in your pants? No? Well, that's because you're a normal person who would never try to do this. And let's not even think about what would happen if the snake should bite the little snake permanently attached to him, either.

The store's owner has seen the suspect -- who appeared to be in cahoots with a woman -- in the shop before. No one has been apprehended yet, though. Much like snakes themselves, these two appear to have slithered away.