… to roughty’s masterful la blog. absolutely nothing omitted that i feel worth mentioning. in fact, he went into detail in places i would have left out completely — namely, my vomiting incident. you loyal readers (who are apparently enthralled with pegasii {search term}) had grown accustomed to seeing me stone sober, cradling lovely trout, perch and bass in my adept fishing (and masturbating{search term}) arm. this is only half the real suityourself. the other half is the drunken, light-weight puking on stoney’s roof. by the way, i doubt seriously that stoney has bothered to drag a hose up there and wash that shit off. hope those infamous la pigeons were hungry for roast beef sandwiches, bong ashes, whiskey, coca-cola and half-digested xanax(sp?) {search term} pills, cuz that’s what they are eating off the roof right now.

did i say there was nothing i can add to roughty’s blog? well, nearly nothing. i would feign go into some detail about the culture — if it can so be called — in los angeles, califreakia. let me start (as i do every day) with the weed sitch. it is, as i stated earlier, all true. you can buy it if you have a prescription. i don’t have a prescription, so i could get busted out there as easily as i could right here in good ole virginny. stoney, on the other hand, is immune. he’s legit. too legit, in fact, to quit. leave it to the rich blond fucker to have all the luck that the rest of us working men (just me) really deserve. i have these pictures of ornately arranged bongs {search term}, blunts {search term}, rolling papers {search term} and big, fat, kine bud nuggets {search term} that i should post as soon as possible. not today. no camera. you can continue to wait in vain. the weed is chron-drizzle-fo-shrizzle. the youngsters out there are just how they were when george harrison {search term} described them some 40 years ago. dropouts and losers. while sir roughtonious and i were traversing the boardwalk one morning, we walked past this band of raggidy fucks who were between the ages of 16 and 22, probably. they were “protesting” in some way i guess. they all had some shitty cardboard signs that read, “give me money for prescription weed!” these busted-ass looking fuckers all had some mangy white-boy dreads {search term}. you know the kind. they’re dreaded at the ends, but just real teased-looking nearer to the scalp. this is because white boy hair doesn’t naturally dread. you have to either put some wax or something in it or work really hard at it consistently for a long while (see Dankkkkkkkkkk’s dreads from long long ago), and these kids had either run out of wax or motivation, cuz they had these fucked up looking dreads, and coupled with their sweat-stained, tie-dyed greatful dead {search term} t-shirts, they suited out as one of the mottliest crews i’d ever seen. i smirked at one of them (see “pffffft,” and he asked me for a dollar. news flash, asshole, if you can’t afford a weed-card, you’re most definitely not going to have the money to support your fledgling tree-habit. here’s an idea for you. try cutting that shit off your head, taking whatever money you begged so far and buy a new shirt. after that, how about getting a job? this has been the bit about the youth culture. i didn’t see too many other “kids” around. most of them were either sleeping under cardboard boxes on the street or eating at restaurants where appetizers cost 400 beezies. needless to say, i did not fall into either category.

now for a little bit on the rest of the society out there. service industry is made up almost entirely of mexicans. as i said before, the kids are either filthy rich or lazy as shit and worthless in both cases. this leaves a huge void in the marketplace for service industry people — people who know how to work for a dollar even if it means messing up that fresh hair-do or breaking a nail. mexicans fill this void. yussir. all the mexicans i saw were pretty nice to me. i didn’t try to bust out the spanish on them. i’m sure they get that enough from tourists just like me, so i just grinned at some of them, exposing my yellowing teeth and my blazed-out red eyes. surprisingly, lots of them grinned back. i am not the most sophisticated guy on the block, but i think their grins were, in general, sincere. could it be that they were happy to be in america and making those big green american dollars? i dunno. i like to think so, but who knows? maybe they just thought if they grinned at them, i’d give them some money or something. maybe they thought i was a movie star… yeah, that’s probably it. yup, that’s the one i’m going with. as far as other people in the la working world, i didn’t really see many. again, most of them are either much too rich or much too poor to be seen in any of the places i visited.

a note on commerce in la, they have pretty much the same type of stores there that we have here. grocery stores, liquor stores, clothing stores, drug stores, electronics stores, home furnishings stores, etc. as always, some of these places are over-priced, and some are more reasonable. however, the most reasonable one out there was much more expensive than the most over-priced on in virginia. likewise, the cost of living is steep. housing is hardly affordable, even for two gainfully employed folks like roughty’s and my hosts — stoney and lady t. just like nyc, la is a place i’d love to live so long as i was dirty-rich. for regular middle-class people, it’s a nice place to visit.

the physical environment was everything i had hoped for in some ways but not as cool as i had hoped in other ways. temperature was perfecto! never too hot. sun always shining. cool in the morning and evening. perfect. sandy beaches and lovely palm trees. some good looking women — maybe a slightly better ratio than virginia. however, i didn’t get to see too much of the country, not-developed areas as i had hoped. i know they exist, because when we went to the greek theater, it was sick-to-deff. lots of wildlife possibilities and such. i feel like cali. is as wild as they say, but i just didn’t get a chance to see it. we stayed in the suburbs of the concrete jungle. next time, i plan to check out all the wild places and make a better judgment after that. as far as animalia goes, i saw some lizards, some pigeons and sea-gulls, a bunch of dogs, a cat inside a window, a crazy shark/ray and that is about it.

enough, for now, on la. now onto more pressing matters — baseball.

braves {search term}are poised and ready to strike out at roughty’s shitty mets (who blew the hell out of that 5 run lead roughty alluded to in an earlier post). dankkkkkkkkkkkkkkk’s redsux are pulling the usual choke-job. stoney’s dodgers have fallen off a little bit. the rest of you need to pick a fucking baseball team, cuz you’re missing out on the best season in generations. get ready, because in two weeks i’m going to be writing about how my beloved braves are in first place and roughty’s favorite player has broken his leg or sustained an equally devastating injury. all i hope is that pedro martinez gets called up to the bigs soon. i cannot wait to see him get shelled by the big bats of the atl braves. it’s going to be dangerous for him, though, so roughty ought to kneel down and say a prayer that pedro doesn’t get killed by a line-drive off chipper’s bat.

speaking of sports, stoney has been awfully silent lately about

michael vick {search term}. maybe he feels bad for always being such a fucking racist who hates all black people. he should. michael vick has been framed, and everyone with half a brain knows it. it’s just that the white man can’t stand a talented black man having any money, so they’re framing him. michael vick is the shit.

if he gets suspended, he’ll just go into seclusion for a couple years and work on his skills like luke s. did in one of the star wars {search term} movies with yoda on degoba. after this, he’ll just have to win three superbowls instead of the 2 he was planning on before. there’s no way he’s going to jail, and if he does, i can smell a “longest yard” three-quel. yall need to stop being jealous of michael vick. just because you’re racist doesn’t make him guilty. if i were vick’s attorney, i would use the self-defense ploy. after all, pits are dangerous.

“if mike got bit, you must acquit.”

now, back to one of my fav. topics — john from cincinnati. as i mentioned before, the show takes place in one “IB.” imperial beach is the southwestern-most city in the united states. i thought maybe it was in la, but no. it’s nearer to san diego, i guess. no wonder stoney and the rest of his idiot friends had no idea what the fuck i was talking about. anyways, the show’s first season is over. the finale was anti-climactic, to say the least. in fact, it was close to a let-down. no secrets revealed, no aliens, no death, no jesus christ, no nothing, really. just dylan mckay and zach morris dicking it up like they did in the early 90s. they are setting us up for a second season, so i hope the numbers allow this to happen. john from cincinnati is the best show you’ve never seen. trust me. how about one more clip just for good measure?

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3 Responses to “there’s nothing i can add…”

Good to have you back, SUIT! Laying it down, homey. However, I think both you and I forgot about the incident we witnessed on the Santa Monica Pier…

Dont remember it……?

I’m talking about when we saw that dude catch a motherfucking shark. I took, (I mean I had Lady T take) many pictures while in LA, yet I regret not snagging a photo of that guy pulling the shark out of the water. Alas, it wil never be so; but at least you were there to see it with me Suit.