Thursday, 4 October 2012

tears

Maryann Lovejoy suggested spanking a partner to tears in a comment to a post on Uncle Agony. (Do read the full comment in context here.)

I remember writing a story about this for a friend a long time ago. (I must hunt it out.) She had often said she wanted to be spanked to tears. She had so much grief and distress welling up inside her but could not let it out. She could only cry for others but not for herself.

So she wanted to be spanked or beaten until she cried.

I am not sure I would have been strong enough. I know I did not try. Though in the end I brought her to tears through kindness instead.

I am lucky in having a woman now who is mine. I can do what I want with her. I can spank her and beat her as hard as I want. I am not sure though that I could spank her to tears. She is very strong. I am not sure what purpose spanking her to tears would serve and I feel it could be cruelty. I will discuss it with her.

I know for some that tears can be a great catharsis. They can help one feel better and move on.

I have cried in front of my submissive woman but I am not sure she has cried in front of me.

It can be a strength to cry.

To be happy to shed tears in front of another can show trust and be a sign of ones closeness.

Do you cry? For some it is too easy, for others too hard. Have you been beaten to tears? Would you like to be?

Or ... do you beat your sub to tears? How do you both feel about that?

As you say, there is an "extreme emotional vulnerability in crying." For me true submission is where one can open oneself to become so very emotionally vulnerable - because it then demonstrates the trust and belief that you talk of. Is that at the heart of a truly submissive relationship.

Perhaps that is what you are striving for when you have the desire to be brought to the edge of tears and pushed over.

Sir has cried in front of me often..he is one of the most emotionally open men I've ever met.

He has made me cry often. He loves my tears that come from his beating or whipping or whatever.Initially, I found it hard to remember that he actually liked my crying.. that it was something he wanted and cherished from me. These days I am much more likely to cry when he uses me, without thinking about it.

If he ever told me I had disappointed me , I'd cry immediately.Thankfully, I have not disappointed him. I don't plan to do so, either!

While there have been many times I have cried in Wolf's arms, it hadn't been part of a 'scene', but simply because I was upset.

Then there was the point not too long ago where I was so frustrated, upset and drained by various commitments, that I asked 'not to be in control'. It's our 'shorthand' for a submissive playtime. I never know how things will go, as it has involved a variety of things, from spankings, sex and or simply being put to bed and being held. Wolf chose to spank me. While not an especially intense or long session, he pulled me just over that brink to where I dissolved into tears. The moment I began to cry, he held me and cuddled me until I was relaxed. It was the catharsis I needed.

I have been spanked to tears, but oddly, sometimes I've wanted to cry during a spanking and couldn't. Other times I've cried when I really didn't want to. It is all a mystery to me.

Of course, that suggestion was to both of them, as they were both new and both wanted to find a way for her to let go of her dominance and him to build his. I would never recommend anyone "beat" anyone for any purpose, though lots of folks in this neighborhood like that language... and that is fine with me.

Hmm i promised i'd comment this one too. Only i'm not sure how. We've both visited this subject before. I think i might try to write a post about it -if i don't come hunt me down for another comment OK P?

I have been beaten to tears. For me, crying comes easily - too easily, I think, sometimes. My emotional life tends to be uncontrolled, and any emotion too big to contain manifests in tears. It does not have to be negative and the tears are always a relief.

The same (ish) goes for being beation to tears. When the pain is more than I think I can handle, I start crying. Usually I can take a lot more pain, and the crying helps me relax and lean into it. It also leaves me very vulnerable.

I just found this post and comments while looking into why so many men think that crying is a sign of weakness (still, in 2012!). This is wonderfully refreshing to see so many strong Doms weeping and showing emotion--and blogging about it--so openly. A question to Pygar and the other Doms: what does your sub do that allows you to feel so free to express this? Question for the subs: How do you feel when your Dom cries in front of you? Thanks!

About Me

A Dom who feels he doesn't fit into the mould of "Dom-ness" trying to explore his own nature and feelings and some thoughts about D/s.
Pygar was not a Dom. He was an angel. He was also blind. But he did get to shag Jane Fonda!

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Me elsewhere ...

As well as Uncle Agony I do have another blog which I publish occasionally as Beau. It is intended as more light hearted and not to be taken too seriously though I used also to write occasional erotica there.

There is also some of my erotica published on Dragonfly Geisha under the names of Beau, Takumi and Katashi.