but there's only one mark sanford

Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?

An important new Associated Press topical article notes that exactly five other governors in American history have done something weird, while in office. So nature-boy mountain lamer Mark Sanford is not alone! Come out of the closet, Mark, and come back to America.

According to the AP, here are the historic oddballs:

Jimmie Davis, governor of Louisiana during the making of O Brother Where Art Thou: Was a hillbilly singer who did that “You Are My Sunshine” song, also hated the darkies.

None of these losers can hold a candle to William Donald Schaefer, and his ladyfriend Hilda Mae Snoops, they of the adjoining trailers in Ocean City, and adjoining Balto row houses the rest of the year.

There was that time he told some state senator that his Eastern Shore constituency was a “shithouse.” And let’s see, he spent a large part of one term using the MVA to stalk and terrorize some woman who gave him the finger on the Bay Bridge.

[re=345809]boatapple[/re]:Willie Don never had a job that paid more than $30,000 a year before becoming governor and was worth almost $15,000,000 when he took office…told people he was “careful with his money”.

Poor Monika Mathur. I feel her pain. I had one of those “give five examples of” questions on my History 305 midterm, and just like her, I could only come up with two – or really one and a half – of them.

Fortunately, the prof graded on a curve, so I ended up with a C+ on the exam, and managed to lift it to a B for the course. So there’s hope.

All these governors acting so badly and no one remember New Jersey’s own Jim McGreevey? He just put his non-citizen boy toy on the payroll is all, as a anti-terrorism adviser, no less. Now he’s studying to be a priest, but not a Catholic priest, so the kids are safe…

This is from the last days of his gubernatorial campaign in 2006, when he also disappeared for a while, so his wife did news conferences in his place. The excuse then was even more original: “Mark Sanford burned his eyes under the bright stage lights at a groundbreaking ceremony and was sidelined on the very last day of the campaign, his wife said Monday.”

Sanford is going to bitch and whine that he can’t do what he wants when he wants without the MSM getting all worked up about where he went, who he was with, etc. Just another reason they oughta tear up the line between the Carolinas (and between the Dakotas) and start solving many of our peskiest problems.

William Donald Shaeffer swam in the outdoor animal pond at the Baltimore Aquarium when he was mayor of that city. He bet that the Aquarium would be completed on time, and when it wasn’t settled his bet with a swim with the seals.

Oh, and he also used to wear costumes to the State House while governor.

Edwin Edwards, of Louisiana, took some State funds and gambled them away in a Las Vegas casino. He was voted out of office but regained the governorship with the GOP ran David Duke, admitted Klan member, against him.

Ruth Ann Minner, Delaware’s former lady governor, has a GED and owns a tow-truck bidness. [re=345809]boatapple[/re]: Then again, practically ALL of Delaware is the same as the Eastern Shore of Maryland, so – also.

[re=345784]Gopherit[/re]: As usual, the comments on that story are hilarious, to wit: Sanford’s disappearance is the fault of the Democrats, Obama has duped black people, and Sanford’s whereabouts should have been known because a sekrit nuke might have been spirited into Charleston or something like that… o wait, that was a cheesy TV movie that ran on NBC in the 80s.

But the many Larry Craig/Mark Sanford jokes make up for all the idiocy.

From a different article: “The state lawmaker noted the governor’s past quirky behavior — particularly a 2004 stunt in which Sanford brought live pigs to the House to drive home a point about “pork-barrel” spending. Outraged lawmakers squealed at the time that the governor was “insulting” his state with the stunt. Worst of all, the pigs apparently were not housebroken.

“They defecated all over the carpet and lobby,” Knotts recalled. “Crapped all over everybody, news reporters, everybody. … It’s things like that.”

Jimmie Davis was the governor of Louisiana during the making of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Really? Davis’ last term ended in 1964 and the movie was released in 2000, the year he died. Did the Coen brothers spend that much time in post-production? Uhm, Davis came after the previous governor, Earl Long, was put into a mental hospital in Galveston, Texas by his wife after she got tired of him putting the wood to New Orleans stripper Blaze Starr. Much more colorful than Davis, who was mostly a mean, racist hillbilly — with a talent for yodeling. Released from the mental hospital, Long was asked by a reporter if he was really cured of his madness. Long replied along the lines of “I got this here piece of paper that says I ain’t crazy. Where’s yours?” And Texas had Ma and Pa Ferguson in sequence for governors. Ma explained that there was no need for bilingual education for Mexican-American children in the Rio Grande Valley counties because “Jesus spoke English in the Bible and if it was good enough for Him, it’s good enough for the children.” God, and I could so go on…

Jennifer Granholm – Like Governor Schwarzenegger, appeared as a contestant on “The Dating Game”. She recently had to have emergency surgery for an obstructed bowel that was a result of a 1993 car accident in DC that nearly killed her. Oh, and she’s Commie Canadian by birth, but raised in the Bay Area. Her most important doing? She is America’s hottest governor. Yeah, I said it. Stick it, Wonkette, and your Sarah Palin obessession!

[re=345871]Otter bored.[/re]: Charles Grassley, thank god, was never Governor of Iowa. Harold Hughes (who has been forgotten by history because even people from Iowa got him confused with Howard Hughes and people outside of Iowa, well, fuck, it’s Iowa, now, isn’t it), who was governor like forever in the 60s and 70s, was maybe the first major politicians ever to admit to having smoked pot.

That being said, how could you forget Mitt “Mittens” Romney, once dragged a dog across country from the back of his car, had his father’s grounds keeper shoot a squirrel, and hated darkies until 1979.

Or Washington’s own Dixie Lee Ray. When her first saw her, I asked my Mom “Who is that strange looking fat man.” One of the worse Governor’s ever, while supposedly a Democrat, went on to write books about how Nuclear power was just spiffy and worth a little glow from your vegitables. So grumpy, they said she shot a man just for snoring. As far as I know, didn’t hate Negros, but did name a litter of pigs after reporters.

[re=345941]WhatTheHeck[/re]: And think, how many people have been so destined for greatness that his Satanic Majesty has personally sent demons to stalk him?

Damn, you boys need to get ya’ll’s Loozyana history straight. That was a joke, son, a joke about being governor during Oh Brother Where Art Thou, even I got that. Jimmie Davis a sweetheart, mostly harmless as governor his first term, and not nearly as bloodthirsty a segregationist as the nitwits in the Lege he had to deal with during his second term.

Now Earl Long, there was a fullon bull moose psycho, sort of guy only Hunter S. Thompson could relate to. He ended up in Mandeville at the state hospital for the severely upset, after taking a wizz at the head table during a banquet in Arizona. However, since he had appointed the head of the state hospitals, he was able to get a release toot sweet. It is true that he said ” I am as sane as anybody, and I have the paper to prove it!”

Then there’s Fast Eddy Edwards, who said “The only way I will lose this election is if I get caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl” – now serving time in the Federal pen. Or Murphy J. Foster III, who rode around on a motorcycle and attended law school during his second term. Or Richard Leche, who said, “When I took the oath of office I didn’t take any vow of poverty” and was convicted of mail fraud after he failed to escape to Canada. Or…

Yeah, Louisiana’s only rival in the Crazy-ass Governor Sweepstakes might be Texas. We had Bill Clements, who, when asked what Texans should do about an incipient oil spill, said “Pray fo a hurricane.” And Preston Smith (“Poor Old Preston”), who was once greeted by demonstrators demanding that he “Free Otis”, referring to a black man unfairly convicted and on death row. He wondered why the protesters kept demanding frijoles.

More on Jimmy Davis: He built the original “bridge to nowhere,” a span across the Mississippi which terminated in a swamp owned by a campaign contributor. Named it the “Sunshine Bridge” after his horse, of “You are My Sunshine” fame, which he once he rode into the governor’s office. Did a David Vitter release on the oriental rug (Sunshine, that is, not Jimmy). Poor little humorless Piyush. All he can conjure up is an exorcism and chemical castration. No match for Earl “Red Hot Pappa” Long, Jimmy, Fast Eddie and the original larger-than-life guv, Huey Long.

NO-ONE takes a last minute trip to Argentina – 10 hour flight minimum. All those journalists need to do is figure out when he actually bought the ticket for the house of lies to collapse and soon they will find – what – the furry he was meeting?

[re=346053]Roslin[/re]: Or how about Pappy O’Daniel, and his Light Crust Doughboys? Or Gov. Hogg and his lovely daughter, Ima? I agree – some Loozyana weirdness definitely rubbed off west of the Sabine.

What about Edwin Edwards of Louisiana?
When told of Gary Hart’s Donna Rice problem, he recalled William Broadhurst, owner of the Turnberry Isle boat-with-a-girl operation. Shaking his head sadly, he said, “Old Billy B. He was a little more discreet when he was pimping for me.”
And Edwin’s campaign bumper sticker when David Duke opposed him: “Vote for the Crook. Its important.” Or is it impawdent?
Like John Gotti though not lethal, EE stiffed the Fed prosecutors once … twice … three times(!), before yielding to a conviction no one would hold against him in La. Gambling? So what!

[re=346053]Roslin[/re]: The demonstration was held on the campus of the University of Houston, known back in those innocent days as “Cougar High” for it’s sports mascot, an actual, live catamount kept in a cage on campus, and the “High” part for the school’s open admissions policy. The demonstrators were demanding the release of a political activist who had been send to prison for one “joint” of “muggles” or “boo” (as addicts refer to marijuana) named Lee Otis. So, poor old Preston heard their chant as frijoles, which is kinda understandable if you have a group of people yelling “Free Lee Otis” in less than perfect unison. Leopolt’s bringing up the name of W. Lee “Pass the biscuits, Pappy” O’Daniel is another good one. More recently, there was Big John Connally, who died broke after trying to get rich in a Houston real estate boom. He managed to mix a very distinguished political career with all sorts of frantic scamming after money. Texas, fuck yah!