Charlton Heston, 1924 &#8212 2008

I’m sorry. I didn’t really like this guy. His acting style gave me the embarrassment shivers. The one exception would be his turn as the Player King in Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet. It was probably the only time I ever really sat up and listened to what that character had to say. What’s sad is that it kinda makes you wonder what he could have done when he was jerking off with all those Planet of the Apes sequels.

Now would be the time to suggest a Moment of Silence, but frankly I don’t want to. There’s no denying that later in life he was just a total fucking douchebag. People gave Michael Moore shit for badgering a doddering old man in Bowling for Columbine, but come on. He was the president of one of the most powerful lobbying organizations in the country. If perhaps the NRA should have picked a president who could hold up under a little scrutiny.

On the plus side, we ought to be able to get that rifle back from him now, right?