Readers often ask which football (soccer) team Michel supports. Now, this has been the source of much conjecture by many of my pet slugs as there could be a whole load of possibilities. Now, Michel lives in the borough of Kensington and Chelsea and could therefore support Fulham or Chelsea, but does he? Now his dad wasn't born in that borough, though he is from London, (and sons often support the teams of their dads), and could therefore support a number of other teams such as Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspurs, West Ham United, Crystal Palace, QPR or even Millwall. What if Michel chose to support a French team? His mother is, after all, French and thus he might support PSG or his grandfather's team of Lyon. His English cousins, hailing from the North West of England support the big teams of that region like Liverpool, Everton Manchester City and Bolton. When it comes to national teams, where does Michel's allegiance lie? With England or with France? There's even some Spanish in his blood so perhaps he's a fan of Spain? The answer is... it shan't ever be known until the very last book. Now listen to my evil laugh, which sounds like a combination of the following:

I'm not very good at football/soccer/whatever one calls it. However, I enjoy giving a good kick to some of my cabbages now and again. Now, I'm no David Beckpork or Greasiano Ronaldo but, I must say, I do have a pretty good aim especially when my neighbour Dieter comes into view. Once I kicked a cabbage so hard that it him square on the noggin. He shook his fists at me and threatened revenge, however he has yet to do anything. So I can kick back, keep sipping my strangely-coloured water and admire the little pixies that are dancing happily in my back garden.