Information and resources for individuals pursuing certification as Lactation Consultants and discussions on natural birth, breastfeeding, doula assistance and attachment parenting.
This blog is for information only and does not substitute for medical advice. For medical advice please contact a physician or other medical provider.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The recent article by Time Magazine did precisely what it intended to do--get a reaction. I must say, I am surprised at the amount of discussion and attention the cover photo has received and even more surprised by the individuals making these comments.I fully expected the twist from the media mongol when it comes to "Attachment Parenting." If something is not portrayed as controversial or scandalous, no one takes note and as a result, magazine purchases and subscriptions plummet. In fact, I have to congratulate Time on their illustration choice. If anyone were to ask me how to display a mom feeding a toddler in a way that would provoke shock and controversy, I don't know if I could have come up with an idea as effective as Time. The tall child, clothed in camouflage and combat boots (adding to the effect of aging the toddler), on a stool with a super model mom who has the demeanor that she could take on the world... The illustration was about as extreme as it could be at portraying Attachment Parenting.

Time had no objections to the stir it created. The cover, labeled by many as "provocative," drew in large crowds. The subscription sales doubled, Twitter trending boasted over 50,000 mentions and the Time Facebook Page received 43,000 likes. I have several concerns about the article and subsequent
backlash that the model/mother and Attachment Parenting received. First, the view of this parenting choice was
skewed. It depicted parenting as
“extreme.” For individuals who have not had an opportunity to be exposed to or
practice the principles of attachment, they may have been led to believe this
dyad is posing as the Poster Child for the organization.

I practiced Attachment Parenting with all of my
children. The principles of AP basically
include 1) Be Prepared for Birth and Parenting 2) Feed with Love and Respect 3)
Respond with Sensitivity 4) Use Nurturing Touch 5) Ensure Physically and
Emotionally Safe Sleep 6) Provide Loving Care 7) Use Positive Discipline 8) Strive
for Balance.

I cannot imagine anyone being offended by this list of
parenting techniques. The skills are also very subjective…what is meant by
“Respond with Sensitivity?” The answer may be different for different moms. Of
course, the last step “Strive for Balance” can help to adjust all other aspects
of these suggestions. I absolutely loved
Dr. Bill Sears’ (who coined the phrase “Attachment Parenting”) response on the
Today Show. He assured the reporter and
audience that, “The list of principles were tools not rules.”

If experts in our field could have looked past the
photograph and into the teaching opportunity, we could have educated the world
and created better parenting resources for new moms, but the photograph debate
waged on. We attacked the mom, reporter,
article, and each other. It was like

the media in general from Time to talk shows, (along with some frenzied individuals) picked up stones and began to throw them at the Attachment Parenting and breastfeeding crowd, and in return we gathered those rocks, glanced at the mob, but chose to throw the rocks at each other!

Lactation Consultants and Attachment Parenting advocates had
a problem with the rendition of breastfeeding that was portrayed. I have been asked by so many to share my
opinion and it leaves some perplexed. I don’t
mind that the child was older, that he was on a chair, that the mom was not in
a nurturing position, that the cover read “are you mom enough.” I guess I don’t get offended very
easily. I have seen moms feed in this
position, or very similar ones—it does happen.
I have also seen moms lying on a couch as her toddler stands and
nurses. I don’t have a list of “appropriate
and acceptable” positions that I will endorse.
If it works for you and your child, congratulations, enjoy the bonding
experience. I also had no problem with
the article title (besides the obvious goal to pit moms against each
other). My inclination was to answer the
magazine matter-of-factually, “Yes, I am mom enough” and so is every single mom I
have met. Moms may parent differently,
feed differently, have different priorities or even show love in unique ways,
but she is definitely “mom enough.” What do children need? Acceptance, love, compassion, safety,
nurturing—all qualities that moms can and affectionately do give. Do we have to
be super moms in order to be successful? Can I offer a resounding “no!” From
the teenager with twins, to the corporate CEO, to the stay-at-home mom, I have
never found a woman who does not strive to give her child what he needs. I
embrace this ambition that moms have of learning and growing and I support the moms that I have the
honor to serve.

So my conclusion on the matter: An article and cover like the one that surfaced may not occur for a very long time and we should all take advantage of the conversations that are presented as a result. This opportunity is still upon us. We
can use this time to educate, encourage, and explain so many aspects of infant
feeding and parenting. Let’s get beyond
the photo and into the dialogue because it is still true, “You can’t tell a
book by its cover.”

I also understand people may feel provoked to argue and revisit their platform about all the damage that was done via this cover, but I think our energy can be used more effectively.

About Me

My passion for education led me to teach and administrate for 17 years. When I started a family my desire switched from CEO to MOM. I quickly realized my children were my first priority and anyone could be hired to replace me in any job—except for parenting, so I traded in my lectern for a rocking chair.
I had a desire to empower other women to have the birth and breastfeeding experiences they wanted.
I became an IBCLC, and on a mission to advocate for women, and to protect their birth experiences, I pursued my Doula Certification. I continue my work educating others through the Grow Our Own LC/IBCLC Prep Course curriculum I created. It has been used to educate hundreds who aspire to grow in lactation knowledge. Currently, I teach, attend births, facilitate lactation clinics, and advocate for women in California. My first children's book, Mommy Feeds Baby/Mama alimenta al Bebe was published this year.

Notices

Birthing, Bonding & Breastfeeding blog and all its contents is copyright 2011 C Hendricks (unless otherwise stated), and asserts the right to be identified as the author of this work. All rights reserved.

Birthing, Bonding & Breastfeeding blog is for information only and does not constitute medical advice or recommendation. For medical advice, please consult a physician.