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Friday, November 29, 2013

I really wish I never knew about "Black Friday", I'm jealous of my friends who ask what is it? Because I was raised with it hanging over Thanksgiving like a scene from the "Mission Impossible" movies. Bewildered as a kid and stepped on by those crazy crowds, one time I remember my mother throwing my little sister into the shopping cart and yelling for me to grab hold to the cart handle as she pushed through the chaos, the frenzy! I remember it like a fuzzy dream of panicking as those store doors opened to hundreds of people pushing us inward and I remember so clearly wanting to leave and get out of it all. Finally reaching 10 years old I could speak up in my protest and NOT be apart of the stupidity, of greed or this so called family tradition. NOTHING is worth it, nothing is right about Black Friday and sadly I've noticed it's the poor people who seem more likely follow those sales signs at the cost of their own health and at the cost of their own much needed money. I know some people might disagree with me but I sadly shake my head wondering if there is a God why would this happen to us as a society? I have learned now as I grow older to just let the crazy people be crazy, give this holiday event back to them...maybe one day there will no need for it, although greed has not yet left us alone?

As for me and my home we will serve the pumpkin pie and coffee while staying in and hoping to avoid any horrid NEWS story that will be so bewildering and so very very sad on Black Friday!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thank you for the sunshine today for the big holiday weekend surrounding Thanksgiving coming up tomorrow! And Thank you for all the yummy good eats! Thank you for family, for laughter, for wine and that awaited fun game board time! Thank you for the pets in our lives, they are so loved and for the warm cozy blankets, even a fuzzy sweater we can wear! I think saying THANK YOU is so refreshing and it makes us take account of all we have and all we need to remember that is important to us once again.

Also may I say THANK YOU for reading my blog, I never try to figure out if anyone reads this but I do appreciate it when ya do! Soooo Thank you my dear reader!!

Have yourself a Happy Thanksgiving and may the day be rich in memories, in hugs and safe coziness!

Monday, November 25, 2013

When I was in Northern Idaho last month I flew into Spokane Washington for my big family reunion of all the ladies, I know that I have shared often how much I love all my Aunts! Seeing them again is like putting on a warm cozy sweater! My cousin Cally was able to swing in and pick me up that night after I got off the plane. She was the one I did everything with as a kid, her older sister Trina always had us organized in all our games, in all our nature walks. I love them both of course! But it was Cally and I who grabbed on to each other for support and screamed if there was a snake in the field or a bird fly over our heads! I followed Cally everywhere! We seemed to paired up in anything we did. Then the years and the days separated us as life will often do. I still feel like I will always know her and she will know me, coming back in contact over these last couple of years has me so happy to see that she is still so classy, Now life for her sounds really awesome! Her career and her home all sounds fascinating to me, I am glad she is doing so good! But really it was her magical new carthat made this night so memorable!Because THIS was a car from the future, I am not joking it was so super COOL!(Now I know that I drive a basic four door car for the last decade, so this could be why I think her new car is from the FUTURE but let me tell ya it was SWEET!)

We swung into a store that reminded me of our own Boise Co-op, I loved it! Full of wine, snacks and my much need bottle water. It was called "Huckleberry Market." Right there in Spokane in the dark fall night. Cally was delightful, beautiful and sweet! We both enjoyed knowing a lot about wines and grabbing what we would need for the rest of the weekend. Then we hit road for that hour's drive out to meet the rest of our family. When her phone rang the car would send it through the speakers, I would look around in awe! When I got the shivers from cold she turned on our seats to heat up and it all felt like we glided over the roads! I was in such comfort, in such awe over this nice car that when we hit the mountain side following the directions and mile markers I felt so very safe! Then we turned off a little to soon down a steep slope road that felt like a water slide twisting like a snake down to the Courd'Alene lake side. Cally stopped before going around the rest of the mountain corner as we realized this road was very very narrow now. She jumped out to go look ahead of her car while I sat feeling helpless like a moment from an episode of "The Walking Dead"! Darkness and forest trees surrounded us with a cliff on one side that went right down into the lake! I spun around in my seat alarmed that Cally bravely leaped out and came back saying "It's a dead end! Where are we? Good thing you said something about this road I think it's now a walking path NOT a road anymore!" We laughed and I exclaimed "You were so fast! Suddenly I am ALL alone in here thinking how zombies could SO get us now!"I began wondering about just how will we back out of THIS place now??? It was steep and narrow with only one way out straight back the way we had just drove! Okay so HERE is why I think she has a really AWESOME Car from the FUTURE.... Because as she reversed while we realized we needed to find the main road again she never looked back over her shoulder and I was twisting, jerking and flipping out that she was NOT looking back as we drove back out the scary way we had just come down!?!?!?She noticed my sudden movements of my alarm, yet she kept driving backwards so perfectly chuckling as I feared for our lives! Then of course I noticed the computer screen in the dashboard showing the rear camera as she drove back so effortlessly and I let out a sigh of realization! "THAT is SOOOOO AWESOME!" I exclaimed in my bewilderment as we climb out of the mountain side. Cally was laughing at my naive ways, I was truly dumbfounded by it all! Her magical vehicle got us to our Aunts and to the warm cozy condo that night so safely and in true style! I loved our "off road" adventures and most importantly I loved being in Cally's car from the FUTURE!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Once we lay to rest our past, once we lay down all of our own personal stories or hidden emotions, letting go of grudges, of hurtful times. Letting go of ALL the injustices of this real world round us THEN and only THEN can we step into the promising future! The time will fly by automatically even if you are living in the past. But to truly step forward into the endless history being made right in front of you, to really know what time it is for your soul and for your strength you have to lay to rest everything from within yourself.

No one else can fix what is going on inside of your own self, unless you seek advice or "download" memories that can keep eating at ya, no one can really help you out with this very personal journey. Some people don't even care really if you are struggling so what I see happens so often is the avoidance of ourselves. Our society allows avoidance and self-destruction more over then those "Ah HA!" moments once shared on TV shows like "Oprah". It all comes down to your own self, to the story you will choose to share or believe about yourself in the end. Be brave and don't avoid it....Once I grew up my life changed into the most beautiful place! I always carried that idea or dream within me that my life is simply good. Yet not until I could actually be in control of my own life did it become TRUE.It is very much like getting into a time machine from that famous movie "Back to the Future." The story changes and gets better for that guy "Marty" after he returns to the present time once again. (My husband loves these movies so much, he even has the kind of hair like "Doc" had....maybe one day it will be all white and I can call him that!) This idea of going back in time to understand where we are today is very important, getting stuck in the past however is not healthy. Life has this endless hope of looking and living towards the future so being distracted by the past can take away from the real delight of RIGHT NOW.Once my life was healed from the inside out I noticed I could move on in helping and hugging others, I had a new found strength and love for the whole world around me! I loved listening and connecting to other peoples stories or journeys. I don't have all the answers for everything about me, I don't think I will ever "Arrived" to such enlightenment of my being. I just know that once everything is laid down, once I finally owned it and faced it then I could enjoy this day for what it all holds, for the endless possibilities of my good life! Now If I had a "Delorean" to be my time machine I would go back in time and be with all the ones I still so miss!The future is ALWAYS going to be this great big unknown place, going back through our time, back through our memories will make us wiser and more aware of what we still need to work on in ourselves because well the future took us right back through our past and now here we are in the know!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

On November 22, 1963 our nation's President was shot up directly in front of the public, leaving all these images of our home made camera shots or recordings strongly emotional and set into our historical minds. How innocent were we all until this date unfold? The reason we have been told so quickly that one man acted alone or that Cuba did all of this was impart for our own grief to get pass and move on. I don't think humans have ever been so innocent, so naive or so helpless like how this event would suggest. But I think back on this date our culture and society was very refreshing, carrying a sense of real hope, people like new beginnings no matter how "street wise" they can be. So with this really young man as our nation's leader and with new inventions like a TV brought him right into our everyday lives.

We have now arrived 50 years later from this trauma, if this event unfolded nowadays I would NOT care what political party the President belonged to, I would still scream out and cry for the lost of life and the lost of such innocence. I would think to myself "Evil has arrived in front of us, whose is to blame is a distraction from the truth that we will ALL hurt from such a thing so very disrespectful to our free nation." Then later on such questions like "ARE we really a free good nation? ARE we bringing forth world peace and bettering the lives around us? For when much is given, much is expected." I wonder... that is the end of JFK's story the wonder of it all.....the unknown, the "what if's" and the HOW COULD THIS OF HAPPENED????When I first saw this old film clip of the President's head flying off I was a teenager and I freaked out a bit wondering why would they keep on driving towards the shooter??? Seemed very crazy to me that they didn't look like they were trying to protect him as they should. THIS event is an embarrassment by all actions, just like when a family member who goes out into public attacking another same family member, embarrassing! Then rest of the family will try to blame someone else in order to not face the sad fact this is of their own blood. Because JFK was killed this way, I have never trusted the media or the Government when they try to lead this nation along. I wish sometimes it was possible to believe in heroes as our leaders, but they killed the one guy who stood for hope and change and accountability. We can't seem to get back to someone like that ever again, we will always keep trying though I think! It is rather interesting to watch the future unfold everyday, We don't get to have all the answers and maybe our gut-reactions are wrong at times, yet in the end the good guys don't always win......but they DO carry a fire that won't ever go out!

So here we go into the next 50 years of the future, what will it say about YOU?

Thursday, November 21, 2013

There are 3 dogs of such personality whom fill my every hour and every day! They cuddle in deep at night all around me and sometimes even crowding out my husband. Waking up in the winter's cold or stormy weather has them always sound asleep and happily touching me in someway. My grateful heart is full of laughter even in the cold or gray days of this cold long winter season! Minnie, Sidda and Oscar are the greatest dogs and the first on my "to be thankful" list about my life!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

It was raining outside as I sat by the fire place in Papa Joe's as Benny rushed in to meet me. I had order our favorite mozzarella sticks already as she sat down taking a bite. "Oh GOOD! I was thinking about these on the way in!" I chuckled and nodded as we sat directly in front of the fire place on this cold winter's day, "So you are heading home this evening?" I asked her as she took time trying to order from the menu. I joked around with her "I would say we could share something BUT I know how picky you are about food!" I laugh and snack our appetizer plate. She shrugged with a smile saying "I hate ordering something that ends up not being what I like.....so I have to really stop and think about it first." Being best friends over all these years getting together all of a sudden in our day was just how we rolled!

The fireplace roared and crackled making us warm up quickly, we shared our new knitted hats and gloves and scarfs. We talked about different patterns and new types of yarn. We joked, we teased each other then we laughed fully over our newest funny stories in our lives.Benny said looking around holding her simple sandwich "THIS is a really nice place by the fire! I don't think I ever sat here before, before we leave I want to grab a coffee for the road and need YOU to pick it out for tell the guy what I like because I can never remember!" I giggled shaking my head "You like white chocolate or Carmel or anything really sweet to hide the coffee taste...NOT what I call "drinking coffee"." Benny smiled proudly replying back "GOOD! see you know and remember for me what I like to drink so I will take you with me to order one." That was such a fun cozy day in against the winter's weather as we caught up and as we shared our lives. The fire's warmth made us both very relaxed and goofy as we ate lunch then ordered coffees to go. "This place reminds me so much of YOU." Benny said as we left saying goodbye for another few months as she went back To Twin Falls. I smiled asking "Because of all the visiting quiet corners?" She nodded and added "That, and it's styled very "Hippy" with second hand furniture the way you always like. I am going to do that style for my own home I decided, bye Girl!" I waved out getting to my car saying "Call me to let me know you arrived home safely, love ya!" As the rain came down we both drove out back to our lives, warmed from the fireplace and knowing we had such a delightful friendship!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

My best friend Benny met up with me just last fall at the amazing good steakhouse in Caldwell Idaho. I wasn't letting her out of my sight as our evening had just started up when she got a call that her father needed her help just as we all order the meal. "I'm coming with you." I said instantly as the rest of the group stayed behind. She as surprised "No no stay with your other friends, I'll be right back." I chuckled already heading out of the restraunt with her "I don't mind to ride along with ya and catching up! Then if the family drama flares up you can say Debby is waiting in the car I have to get back to our food!" Benny smiled saying back "Okay good, it gives me time to talk to you a little more!" We were driving out to her aunt's home to check on her father who has been fighting cancer for awhile now. Benny warned me as she always did "Debby you can't be so trusting of people, I know that you can handle your own but it seems unfair how welcoming you are to letting people right back into your life, even those who weren't there for you 10 years ago when you needed help struggling through life."Being with Benny in the car that evening almost a year ago from next month makes me feel bigger then life! She won't be back around for me to listen or to chat with this fall. Therefore I look back in awe and gratefulness that we had so many small talks and shared moments to remember.Benny listened to me explain myself in how I see the world, it's not about me letting old friends come back and treat me the same, it is how they have changed and I know what it is like to change and be different too. The best way to get through changing and learning is to have a good none judgmental friend. Benny chuckled and shook her head at me replying "It's not fair that these people couldn't be there for you like that." I smiled nodding in total understanding of what she meant explaining "If they had been there for me I wonder, would I of learned how to handle my life all on my own? Would I be so passionate now over never abandoning others?" Benny nodded back sighing "Maybe I am just jealous that these friends get to see ya all the time and I am only in town every few months now." I giggled back at her honesty, all our talks were usually very open and real. I explained "I hate jealousy, it's not a common emotion of mine anymore." Benny snorted asking "How can you choose to not have it? Just like THAT?" Benny was watching me out of the corner of her eye as I continued "Because it's not about me, I don't own my husband so if he flirts or if he likes someone else that has nothing to do with me, I want him to be happy over anything else. I am okay with it or with any other thing someone has that I don't because I am not them and they are not me, I own myself that is all. It is love that heals and changes all things, it's a HUGE power that fulfills everything in the end. Why would I want to be jealous when those I love are having a good life? Like no one will ever replace you in my life, for you are my best friend even if ya move across the country, and just like if Tone moved out for another woman I would be so happy for him not jealous by my own choice and I would hope to stay the good friends I think that we are now so maybe it will always last like that?. Life isn't ours to control ever, love is the most important thing above all the rest of these so called rules in our society. There is no room for bitterness, or anger when you live outside of yourself. Like what if I died tomorrow? I wouldn't want Tony to live alone, I would hope and not be jealous if he could find a companion right away! THAT is the magic of love it can never die!" Benny parked the car and sat for a moment listening to me nodding and thinking then she left to check on her father, when she came back to continue our talk she said thoughtfully "Do you really believe that love fixes everything in the end like that?" I smiled big and nodded yes as I listened to her explain "I don't know, I have always been very guarded and not trusting of most people. When you explain yourself I realize I don't need to worry about you after all then I wonder if it works, letting Love be bigger then life, bigger then my own self? I wonder if it's possible when you talk about it all I am always sold on a new way of thinking!" She chuckled to herself as we drove back discussing more of the "what if's" or the what to do if people who love let ya down... I loved this deep conversation with Benny I reassured her more "It takes time and practice to replace jealousy with unconditional love, but when it clicks you will know and you will be at such peace with your soul! That it will be worth the struggle in stepping out of your guarded walls" Benny half hugged me as we walked back into the steak house. "I just love ya Debster! You are so refreshing to be around!" She was smiling more now and simply relaxing for the rest of meal.I made a goofy face back at her like always thinking to myself later on in the evening that she and I will be those funny old ladies one day in our crazy hats with crazy scarfs and tipping our cocktails together for a photo!.................You know those kind of friendships, the ones captured on birthday cards shinning happily bigger then us all!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Just
in this past spring Benny and I walked through the lovely park
surrounding Indian creek in Caldwell Idaho. We had her husband and kids
with us as we order coffee drinks from The Bird Stop right there in the
downtown area. We spent the rest of the afternoon walking the pathways
and bridges of that newly remodeled area. "It's crazy that we move away
and Caldwell becomes beautiful!" I said as the kids and I skip over big
rocks laughing. Benny walked on replying back "Yet it will always still
be just Caldwell to me." I jumped down beside my best friend smiling big
with my arms wide open "But LOOK! it NEVER looked like THIS when we
were young hanging out at Penny-wise drug!" Benny and Matt both laughed
and shook their heads at me as I raced the kids across the bridge of
fast moving creek. Coming together this evening and hanging out in such a
fun place while awaiting the sadness of the next day when they had to
lay to rest Benny's father. I hugged the kids as we walked together and I
kept reminding myself not to be so goofy or playful that the respect of
such sadness in them loosing their Grandpa to a long battle with cancer
wasn't avoided. I enjoyed seeing everyone and having the time to just
simply be with them! Benny told her husband how she and I were driving
through Caldwell a few years back while they doing all this construction
through town and we got so lost! Benny exclaimed "WE, We got LOST in of
ALL places...CALDWELL!?!?!" I was laughing in remembering that time
when we both stopped to look at each other in alarm as we didn't
recognize anything around us I had exclaimed to her "Didn't we grow up
HERE??? How could we NOT know where the hell we ARE!" Benny laughed till
she had to wipe her eyes as she caught her breath stating "It's just
Caldwell! What happened to US?" Memories and moments like that give us
such a sense of adventure and going through the years of change together
makes a good friendship!

In Indian Creek park just7 months ago
we were all together considering the changes of Caldwell Idaho, we were
reminiscing and joking around. We were saying goodbye to John Totter
whose home was there and whose life was all around us! Caldwell is still on the move heading to the future and yet I am still swinging over the water hanging on to the light post
chatting with my best friend......in my memories we weren't doing much
just being outside in the sense of sadness and of lost......the reality
is now we aren't ever going back to leaning on the bridge looking out
over downtown Caldwell with all our senses of a shared life!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

In Caldwell Idaho yesterday the sky was clear and fall colors were every where! I had been asked by my mom to come out to her cottage and take her into a craft store then I realized in Caldwell a town about only a half hour drive from her home had a craft store I use to shop at all the time when I was in charge of doing arts and crafts for church back when I was 18. This is an old looking place now and when I was 15 years old it looked old even then! I love it all though because it's full of history the deep downtown of Caldwell back 100 years ago was thriving fully like Boise is now. I think the farmers and ranchers still come here for a good steak dinner and holiday shopping. I walked my mother into the store holding her left side and she swings her hips very good. Against the cart she supports herself, I am always hanging onto her blind side on that cart as it cuts corners closely without even being noticed by her. One aisle can take us a few times up and down again for her to see everything. She loves sales and loves shopping, I could never get annoyed so it is the same aisle until she is ready to move on and it's always her call on what we do. This is important with a stroke survivor like herself to remember how important it is to feel in control and to be respected ALWAYS. I like when it is just Mom and Me, because she is so happy, chuckling and smiling. We talk every detail out and I don't hide her wallet or her cell phone because I let her know what is real and what she can or can't do. She will change her mind when I say "That is way to expensive, let's wait for a sale or put it on your Christmas list." She will move on if I treat her like it's all just common sense. My brothers are very quick to tell her "NO. You can't. or You are being crazy." Then she gets so mad and determined to buy it when moments like this happen I try quickly to respectfully send my brothers away and try to discuss a while with my mom on waiting to purchase something so spendy. When it is Mom and I the flow of shopping is ALL day and very RELAXING. Neither of us are in a hurry, we find the sales and we plan the decor of her home with ease and excitement. I am more of friend to my mother then what she can remember as her daughter. I noticed this more yesterday as she would look surprised when I said something about the past she would ask "How did you know them?" or "How did you know I had that?" I would chuckle explaining "Well Mom I was your first born...." She would frown and nod kinda oddly unsure then she would share stories of her kids as if I were another mom friend instead as if what I had just explained didn't registered. I left it alone of course but it shows how her last 3 kids are what she can remember the most on being a mother. It has almost been 35 years since I came into her life, I can see why or how easily those years are forgotten. For now we can live into this day and I can be there for her asking nothing else but to let me serve her and see her smile!There is NOTHING that can come up in being with her for the whole day I can't handle, nothing about her bothers me and nothing about time matters when I've set the day aside for her. I am her friend who isn't afraid to drive, isn't afraid to talk to people and strong enough to hold her or push her in the wheel chair. I would never dream of insulting her or correcting her, I think I have so much to give and teach others when it comes to the disabled or handicap you have to live outside of yourself, see the big picture and love the whole world! Craft Corner in Caldwell Idaho yesterday was slow and nice for my mother and I to spend the whole afternoon there! It's an old worn building with 3 big room full top to bottom of crafting items. It has those old cash registers and old display racks. I liked it all of course being a sucker for old things! Mom and I got to reply on the lady clerk very much she seemed like a sweet Grandma to the world around us. I enjoyed her advice and kindness very much, this is my idea of supporting local business a quiet nice place full of creative wonders and a history of the life line in the store. My Mom was getting worn down by the time we left the store it had been quite a bit of walking on her cane. It was a smooth time in getting some Christmas decor for her and I was left feeling reflective over my life's memories of this place. One day it could be all gone, just like us all........

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

There are moments in my life where music snaps me back into focus and I can heard it anywhere, over head in a restraunt, in the mall or in any store even if people are talking to me I'm already into the song I'm hearing.....

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Now I know that I say this ALL the time but I will never ever want a gym membership ever again! I like getting my exercise from walking the dog, cleaning the house and gardening. Yard work alone is heavy duty and simply down right FUN! It's even in bad weather to race around outside and then go deep clean inside! Like having all the bedding to washed and dried makes everything smell fresh and cozy. We are meant to rest just as much as when we work hard. When the sun comes out I race out in it eagerly, I let my dogs lay out or chase the ball. I pull weeds here and there, clean all my garden tools and setup new ideas for growing! Last year I don't remember much about these leaves? My husband Tony says we were under such stress of him going back to school and I would go out to see my mother quite a bit too. In fact because we had a guy already living upstairs back then I was gone with my dogs all over the place, not feeling much at home until it got really cold! So these leaves have a way of coming back to the earth bringing things we had forgotten that where going on only a year ago.....I see the world in one long list of things to do, in that I am never done, never really bored! For there are dogs who need attention, cats who need brushed out if not fed. I can lift heavy things and bend down to my knees and hands in the dirt. I can climb up high and sweep down cobwebs, I can carry water buckets and hoses all over, I hammer in a nail on the fence or I cut down the trumpet vine. THIS Is my work out! Everyday these are the things that I need to get done and sit back enjoying the view of home well cared for! (now if only we had a swimming pool I would never need to set foot into an organized gym again!)Everyone is different I know and to maintain constant walks, hikes, bike rides and playing sports or pulling weeds has to be a personal choice. I love to dance inside while cooking or doing the dishes to my endless background music then when I really get into it I work up a sweat with that out of breath feeling of PURE JOY! It all does the body GOOD!My heart and soul loves to be challenged, loves to create and loves to bring that long list of projects to completion! I don't need a gym, I don't need a trainer, I don't need a schedule just the sun light and warmth of the day to work hard in cleaning up the earth and keeping myself strong!

(This is the irrigation ditch half done in being cleaned out from all the fallen leaves and such. I love the growing rich and green ivy on the fence it's a really cool privacy wall now)

Monday, November 11, 2013

Yesterday
and well through out this whole sunny, warm weekend I tackled the big
backyard and the front sidewalk. I raked leaves, mowed grass and
shoveled out the gutters! I even got my husband Tony out to hold the
latter and chop wood.....He kept saying he had to study but the fresh
air did him good! I loved coming inside as the evening cooled down, for he as cooking away our yummy dinner. While I was covered in painted
worn out cloths with a sweaty dirty face. It was such a good good day as I transferred the compost and made
pathways, it was a VERY busy and productive weekend all in all! Then we sat around
our fire pit Saturday night burning up all the newly gathered brush, even last
night I stood on my patio impressed that these Christmas lights made the
whole place come alive!There
is a place to sit out there and calm the soul from all of my "to do"
lists! Life is beautiful when the work is done, Life is magical when the
holidays arrive and most importantly life is cozy when the soul can
rest!

Friday, November 8, 2013

For every hour, for every day I am grateful, so very grateful to live here in a place of such beauty in this magical landscape! For as these days of cold creep back into our schedule, I am grateful for the morning sun light and for my strength to rake the leaves, to create composting and pathways. It's a great yard for the dogs to run around, for the cats to nap and for me to be so gratefully dwelling there. Then I return inside my home catching my breath and glad for this coziness against the cold! While both cats and dogs grab their blankets and I carry my cup of coffee around looking outside at my next project to finish out there, these mornings slowly moves on into that bright open sky!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

It's
magical how orange the neighborhood is right now, I've been working on
getting the heavy brown leaves from my front yard up to breath again. That huge walnut tree decided while I was out of town a couple of weekends ago to
drop them all at once like a huge pile of tissue paper clingy to the
driveway or to the flower beds. Being outside as soon the sun will shine
helps me get my yard work done! I feel like I am running out of time before winter gets here!

Fall is truly romantic, cozy
and FULL of deep color! It's a rich season of pure beauty and yet kinda sad because once
everything is naked for the winter then we start all over again.....

I do
like that idea of starting over in a new year with new ideas for
gardening and setting up the landscape.

These pumpkin golden colors of fall show
how a year works out in the over all gardens, in all the trees and with such a full circle from a falling leaf this season on to a silent winter waiting out for that new bud, a new life to begin again.... Everything ends and starts over again!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Okay so I have bought almost every Jon Katz book about bedlam farm and his dogs over the last decade....(Well, He is my most Favorited author of course)And there was this one book cover picture that always confused me, for I am VERY good at paying attention to details in faces, in animals and listening at the sound of a voice, I personally like to challenge myself in remembering who this is or where I recognize that person. Especially in animals I like to notice all the details, patterns and differences that make them unique. While reading this book I thought to myself "WHO is this dog???" Because I was following all things Jon Katz like some people follow Hollywood. I knew of his farm and blog which showed small stories, pictures and connections to the lives in his farm life. THIS dog was not anywhere around from what I could tell, yet maybe it was Orson back when he was first named Devon, young and confused??? NOPE, I knew it was not Orson, he had a very deep face so if it's not Izzy, and not Rose then I wondered for the longest time while I read this book who was this dog on the cover?

Dog" http://www.bedlamfarm.com/2013/11/04/saying-goodbye-to-homer-a-loyal-loved-dog/THEN yesterday I read Jon's blog as always, as a part of my everyday life. For he always write things that I need to be reminded of again, of the comforting fact I am not alone in all my own journeys that seem at times similar to his own. Bedlam farm was where I first went as a young woman in my late 20's to find my heart and soul again! Now I can create my own farm life here in my 30's, I feel like I can stand for something much deeper then obtaining nice things or perfect clothes. It all came to me while reading these books and getting online to find Jon Katz's blog. My journey in returning to "the farm", wasn't about getting back to my childhood for THAT farm died along with my Grandparents, it was more like carrying the fire in my soul! (Having a joy in all that I can do far away from the negative voices of my parents, for in MY farm stories my parents taught me how not to be like them and therefore I am grateful!)This book will always remind me of how to escape the buzz of greed, the buzz of competition, as back when I first was reading it took me into the sun light, mentally removing this stressful society all around me while giving me a dog to love as I read on! (If only to keep me asking myself which of Jon's dogs was on this cover picture for such a magical book)Soooo now I know! I know now from Bedlam farm post in which Jon updated this story, and shared that Homer was the dog in this picture, funny how all these years I wondered about it.......and was reminded just yesterday of how I couldn't figure it out!

Homer's story made sense and gave me an awareness to trust that other people can give a dog just as good of a home as I know that I can......In fact it's a wonderful job when we love the whole world together!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

When it comes to having 3 awesome dogs, I am overjoyed and thrilled! Because they are so different in personality and in style that seeing them get along with each other everyday and love being part of my pack is so much fun!I love cuddling and training them, and I enjoy waking up with each one curled into my own body every morning. It's hard for me to go straight to sleep without going around the dark home at night and kiss each pet goodnight. My dogs stretch out so I will also rub their bellies goodnight and my cats will instantly purr and snuggle down in the blankets I fluff around them whispering"Mommy loves you, sweet dreams."Being watchful over animals has been the calling of my whole life, even as teenager I had nightmares of rescuing kittens and puppies such dreams have never left me in all these years. So now in this time of my life where I have the most pets since arriving to adulthood I realize that all those bad dreams of animals in trouble was actually guiding me into the bigger purpose for my time on this earth, I am living and caring over my pets as I was always meant to be....Sidda likes her car rides and being carried everywhere with me, she is my smallest, oldest and laziest dog.

Minnie likes her treats, likes ANYTHING that can be food, she is also a perfect dog at the dog park.

Oscar likes his own play time with me, he watches over all things for at the sound of trouble he alerts me quickly. Always leaning against my leg when we stand around outside, he is a very sensitive sweet dog.

In my calm and cozy home having 3 dogs seems like nothing, well kinda like 3 in 1 actually, for they hang out together happily!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Whenever Tinker Belle is DONE with everyone in the house
she freaks out by hissing, growling and waiting by the door to go
upstairs to her very own bedroom. Now her "Daddy" thinks she's
the queen of everything but I see her act up for no reason at all, Tinker the stinker is what I call her now! I never leave the house without putting Tinker put upstairs or outside simply because I
KNOW how she can turn into a pissy entitled cat all of sudden against the dogs or other cats, she just gets fed up with everyone! Last weekend when I was gone my husband (Tinker's only really loyal fan) was alone with all the pets
and he saw first hand at what kind of bully Tinker will turn into as
the night grows later. As he picked me up from the airport saying instantly with such surprise "Tinker
was a real bitch to everyone while you were gone! I have NEVER seen this
side of her!" I looked at Tony oddly and just nodded with a chuckle. Rrrrrrright.....he has never seen this about her??? I guess it was good
for him to finally notice and stop blaming the other 2 cats for all the
cat drama around our home. Once Tinker gets to her own bedroom she chills out and becomes all sweet again. She's a clever cat to have never shown her Daddy this bad side of her I guess but that just show how spoiled she is too!

When you look at
Tinker, she is pure BEAUTY, but when you reach to pet her she is pure
mean, it's only on her terms that she gets petted or not.Sometimes while sweet lazy Jazzy and I are napping on the couch Tinker will jump up to see us sleeping there then screech out some crazy cat cry and run off! THIS wakes Jazzy and I right up with a sudden start! (I think we look like some cartoon characters with our eyes bulge and our hair standing straight up!) Then Jazzy hugs me a bit tighter all confused as I yell out "Goddamn it Tinker! We were
asleep here! what is your problem!?!" She will swish her fluffy tale at us
like she is saying "I want to nap there, so.... MOVE!" Ooooh I still love her of course, but she is a pain in the ass when she really wants to
be! Since Jazzy and Lewis have never hissed or attacked me, I trust them so much more then I do Tinker right now........For she has bit me, scratch me, screamed at me and I feel like she has flipped me off a few times even! She was an adorable kitten so sweet and soft then we moved and adopted more animals so now she gets grumpy in her old age or when put to the test of sharing.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

In
the crazy ice storm last winter a stray striped cat looked miserable, I
called him Tom Tom or Tommy boy. I had to make sure he got fresh water
and food that day which turned into everyday since. He is a good cat,
soft in speaking and grateful for any thing. He isn't mean to my other
cats, they know he is there but don't care. He is a stray and likes to
go around the neighborhood, I am not trying to own him at all and yet I
would never let him suffer. During this hot summer Tommy was looking
rough, I decided to try and help him with some diatomaceous earth which I
sprinkled over him then brushed him out with his very own brush. He
purred and even drooled by the time I was done caring over him, whatever
bugs were on him in less then a week were gone and he was healthy
again! I feed him bone broth as well so naturally he has a good fighting
chance to come back to looking good again. Yesterday while I worked
outside I set my sweater down for a moment, Tommy found it happily near
his usual spot for food so he napped in the sun letting me know he would like
his own sweater bed before this winter arrives.......(and yes, yes I am
working on it)He is a cute stray with big loving eyes, so who wouldn't want to help him out a bit?

Saturday, November 2, 2013

When
it comes to my black cat he
likes to come and go when he wants, he stays smart out in the front of yard or walking down the sidewalk. Yet on Halloween night I set him up in the guest bed early and safe. He gets lots of loves of course! He loves his brush, his own water dish and blanket. At night he comes to cuddle just with me laying around my head on the pillow purring I wake up to mumble to him and smile. He is a huge sweetheart with me! I will admit to spoiling him and pampering him so much that is probably why he really really likes me more and more!

Ever since I started sharing a home with Lewis, I would race out into storms or in the middle of the night if there was a cat fight to find him. He loved it! I've
even step between him and other cats or other neighborhood dogs so he feels very safe I think when he sees me. He comes in every night knowing my arms are always there! It's
rather funny how he doesn't like my husband at all but he sure adores me!
When
my neighbor Bernice commented one day "Lou sure got fat after you took over his
care, and he lets me pet him even more now." I smiled so big and so proud
because my Halloween cat has decorated my life so much that I am rather
very very lucky to have him!

Friday, November 1, 2013

It
came to me that something was very different about this cat, I helped
walked the dogs of a animal rescue thinking this beautiful skinny cat
ran with 10 other small dogs outside then arriving on my lap as natural
and calm in her own moment of zen. My cousin Ryan was hanging out
with me the whole afternoon and loved this cat also. When the owners of
the rescued business said they had 13 other cats right now looking for a
home, so I could just take Jazmin with me for free. and well since I did have the extra room, even cat food already setup.....YES! I did! She was PURfect and I took her into my heart instantly! Welcoming her in my home of 3 dogs and 2 other cats, it was so easy! For she was very loving and kind to everyone! Although she was very wise to stay out of the way of mean grumpy spoiled Tinker belle! Tinker is my husband's rescue kitty they share a bond that doesn't include me. While Lewis is the cat that comes with renting this home. (Yet In just one short year I loved on him so much that now his nickname is "Momma's boy".) Jazmin walked right into this house with such loving purring and magical eyes that she became my very own cat! I often
joke at her and Lewis licking each other saying "Get a room you two!" Then I laugh so much as She responses to anything I say
as if we have our own understanding in chit chat.This leaves my husband
saying to me in concern over my sanity "You do know Jazzy is a CAT right? Not another person???" I shrug
back at him, not caring how I look...for I am very proud of my own 4th "Dog" cat. She is very AMAZING I can't say this enough! Because
she comes when she is called, replies back with many little meows to let me know she understands me. She acts like a dog, doing everything they do and being with them in or outside! She acts just like another "Pack member" in their dog world. They trust and except her as though she is one of them, I am in awe at how easy it is to have her in our everyday lives! Jazzy and me are such good friends that I am filled with so much love and laughter even at the first sight of her when I wake up! She loves to sleep at night next to Minnie, cuddling and purring the whole time or she will sleep between my feet. Her kitten playful ways will annoy my Oscar here and there but for the most part she is so laid back even letting Sweet Sidda to hump her head with no offense taken! Tinker was used to being an only cat just a few years ago, so learning to share like Jazzy makes her a bit annoyed and hissy. Every so often all 3 cats hang out together I like to think I create a good trusting home to allow this, but it's all 3 dogs and Jazzy that have a very special bond! I love it! I love her!

My husband looked alarm as Jazzy sat between Minnie and Sidda as they watched the mail man walk by from the living room window "Did that cat just BARK?!?!? It's rather creepy that she knocks on doors to come in but now she is barking!!??" I threw my head back and laughed so proud of my newest girl in my family! She truly is a magical cat I'm telling ya!

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Share the Love

Love coming out of you is the only way to be happy!Unconditional love for yourself.You no longer resist life.You no longer reject yourself.You no longer carry the blameor the guilt.You just accept who you are, and everyone else just the way they are.You have the right to love,to smile,to be happyand to share your life!

My Husband's Blog

Grow a Garden

and let there be LIFE!

THE Farm

Lovely Lavender

Heal The wound

The only way to heal is through Forgiveness.To master forgiveness is to let go, holding on to the pain of that person only hurts. Of course the scar will always be there reminding you of what you have learned.But you will know once you have forgiven, when you hear the name or see the person who wronged you without any reaction. Like a wound that has healed when you touch it, there is no pain.Life becomes easy, because forgiveness is the only way to clean the emotional wounds.Forgiveness is the only way to heal them.

Lavender List of plants

Own Yourself

There is no problem at all with being beautiful or ugly, short or tall, thin or heavy.If you walk through a crowd of people and they tell you "Oh, you are Beautiful!"You can reply "Thank you I know." and it makes no difference to you. But if you don't believe it then you ask how is that possible to be Beautiful? You become an easy prey. Remember what is important isn't the opinion of others, but you, of yourself.

Oscar's Job

He is my Best Friend

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, Your Dog.You are his life, his love, his Leader. He will be yours, Faithful and True.To the very last beat of his hearthe understands his job, his time.YOU owe it to him to be worthyof such devotion.

Salt Spring Island in CANADA

It is such a beautiful Lavender Farm

My Thinking Cap

Fabulous Foods

Coffee Conversations

with each new day the cup holds a new taste

Cannon Beach

The place to live happily ever after.

Say YES to Life and Love

Apples to Apples

The Magic of Love

if only there was such a world...

MaryJane's Farm

How to enjoy Lavender

I am just another Dog Whisperer

Everything in this world just wants to be loved...

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE!

Second Chance by Shinedown

My eyes are open wide And by the way, I made it Through the day I watched the world outside By the way, I'm leaving out Today Well, I just saw Hailey's Comet shooting Said why you always running In place' Even the man in the Moon disappears Somewhere in the Stratosphere [Chorus] Tell my mother, Tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye Is a Second Chance Please don't cry One tear for me I'm not afraid of What I have to say This is my one and Only voice So listen close, it's Only for today Well, I just saw Hailey's Comet shooting Said why you always running In place' Even the man in the Moon disappears Somewhere in the Stratosphere [Chorus] Tell my mother, Tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance Heres my chance This is my chance Tell my mother, Tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance

It's a BEAUTIFUL Life!

The magic begins

The Power of LOVE

In this World we see both good and bad things, we can have both good or bad thoughts. We live in good or bad days with good or bad feelings. In this World we can choose to be good or to be bad. But the sadness that separates us from each other or brings us close together gives us strength to know what Happiness really is, how the world moves us along. How anger can eat away our day and create more pain. How fear can keep us delayed from what our lives should gain. How important is the power of LOVE when it comes to that very simple choice? In this world LOVE connects all things together for the good, for the joy and for the Happiness of Life!

Honor the Power of LOVE.

"The Strength that is in me is stronger then the fear that surrounds me."-my slogan in 2006

Energy of the Mind

Every day we awake with a certain amount of mental. emotional, and physical energy that we spend throughout the day.If we allow our emotions to deplete our energy, we have no strength to change our lives or give to others.Use your imagination to tell a story of Love, of Bliss and of Hope!See how love moves in the trees, coming from the sky, and saving you from fear.