There is only one relationship that stands above all others. This relationship is more important than the one that you have with anyone else, more important than money, health, or time because all of those other things are a reflection of this one relationship. That is the relationship that you have with yourself.

Forgiveness and self-acceptance are paramount when cultivating a loving relationship with yourself because they are the foundations of what we call self-love. The term self-love can be overused in our society today but not many people are talking about what self-love is. To love oneself is sort of the "given" in terms of having a relationship with yourself. I mean, if a car was coming at you going 90 miles an hour, you're going to move out of the way. That is a basic example of self-love.

What about the deeper concepts of forgiveness and self-acceptance? How the hell do you start to forgive yourself for things that you might have done in the past? You can start this process with something that I like to call "beneficial thinking." Find the benefits of whatever it is that you think you did wrong. Maybe you sabotaged a relationship, gained a large amount of weight or made a bad financial decision. The last thing you need is for someone to beat up on you about it and oftentimes that person is us.

Finding the benefits is closer to the truth of the situation because it is in the natural direction and flow of truth. Truth is just what we see as reality. To think in opposition of reality is to experience emotions like guilt, regret or hatred. Not seeing that you make the right decisions, with the information that you have in this moment is a denial of self-acceptance and forgiveness. We are all surviving in the best way that we know how because that is the ego's job.

Anything other than finding the purpose and benefit of your decisions is madness. You will go down a slippery slope into something called catastrophizing. In the psyche world, this means that your thoughts spiral down like an endless chain of defeat and depression. The way out of this kind of thinking is to start looking for what went right with your situation. What are the benefit of gaining extra weight, sabotaging that relationship or making that horrific financial decision? Therein lies your freedom. You are the master of your reality and perception is the key that opens the door to freedom.

Self-acceptance and forgiveness are an inside job that that might take some contemplation and detective work but if you look hard enough, every situation has a silver lining Take the time to give yourself the gift of freedom by being like a blood hound that seeks out the truth in every situation. The only thing you've got to lose are the chains that are holding you back from achieving your dreams and finding that the truth truly does set you free.