A letter to my 15 year old self

So, you’re 15. Happy Birthday. You’re currently studying your GCSE’s. You hate Business & Economics and you love Spanish. You just got your first proper boyfriend. You tremble as you write this letter because you don’t realise how much you will get hurt in the next few years.

You remember your 15th Birthday well. You are at school and all your friends are being fussy and lovely. You have only been with your boyfriend for a couple of weeks and he nervously handed you a birthday card with a £15 iTunes voucher in. You still have that card. And every other card he gave you. You are so excited all day because you’re going for a meal at Pizza Express with your very best friends. You’re still best friends with a couple of these girls, so you’re glad you kept them close. You decide to wear the UGLIEST pink, puffy dress and you would never dream of wearing something like that now, at the age of 22.

You spend most of your time with your boyfriend, his best friend and your best friend and you enjoy this time. You take a lot of mirror selfies, your hair extensions are bloody awful and girl, pluck your brows. Deep down, you really dislike how you look. You’re a bit chubbier than the majority of your friends, one boob is growing way faster than the other and you’re trying so hard to apply make up but it just looks bad every time. Your mascara smudges, you get lipstick around your mouth but you just roll with it.

15-18 are probably the most significant years of your life! You learn a lot. You lose your virginity, you pass your GCSE exams, you go to college to study journalism and you experience real heart-break.

You have a lot of great friends, and you’ve lost some along the way but I promise you, each friend you’ve lost hasn’t affected your happiness and each friend you’ve gained, has had a very positive influence on your life! You’ve met your best friend at college and you couldn’t have found someone more alike so make sure you see her as much as you can and catch up about life whenever possible. You meet the BEST girls ever at uni, one of them is from California and she is the most caring and lovely person you’ll ever befriend and you’ll want to protect her at all costs which sometimes leaves you feeling like she gets annoyed with you for being so protective! You’ll know about it when you meet her.

Your first heart-break affects you for a long time but I promise you, you’ll get over it. Enjoy this relationship while it lasts because it’s special and you still look back at the happy memories years later. Don’t ever regret any friendships or relationships because you’ve chosen them for a reason. You love your boyfriend so much, I know. But it doesn’t work out. I’m sorry. You grow apart, you share different interests now and you are different people. He gets together with someone who is your friend, it hurts you. A lot. But don’t worry, you’re friends with that girl again now and you love catching up with her. 6 years on and you still often think about that boy and truly hope he’s happy and living his best life, you hope his family are well too. He hurt you a lot but that’s only because he is your first love.

You find someone else when you turn 17. This isn’t love. You think it is but I can tell you now, it’s lust. You think nobody will ever hurt you as much as you’ve been hurt before but you’re wrong. He cheats on you, a lot. I’m so sorry because this very moment has led to you having trust issues and confidence issues and I can tell you now, your heart bubbles with anger when you think about what this boy did to you.

You go to uni and have more relationships and friendships, you find out you have anxiety because of a very nasty girl and you’re still struggling to come to terms with this. But Amy, you’re 22 now. You have an amazing job and work with fantastic people, you have loving and supportive friends who you love spending time with and you’ve fallen in love again. You’ve been with a boy for almost 2 and a half years and you’ve had some ups and downs but you love him a lot.

I told you that you will find love again.

So now you know [briefly] what the next 7 years hold for you, I hope you continue to live life in the moment, don’t cry about your chubby arms. Sort your eyebrows out. Stop falling out with your friends and do your bloody homework! You graduate with a 2:1 in 2017 so I promise, your hard work pays off.

Keep smiling with that brace-free smile and enjoy every minute of your life! And trust me… Your life is filled with way more drama than words can possibly type so you have that to look forward to.

And finally,

It really is true when people say that you learn something new every day.

2 Comments

Being 15 is such an awkward age and you think you have life all figured out but you’re so wrong haha.

They say you have three greats loves in your life. Your first love, the love that hurts you and the one that sneaks up on you and steals your heart. I’ve found that to be true and it seems like it has applied to you too.

Wise words girl, if only we could really talk to our 15 year old selves.

Haha, I did look very different! Crazy what a bit of make up and a few years can do! Thanks so much lovely, I hope that’s true! I wish we could too, it would be rather helpful but we all learn from our mistakes! It’s how we grow x x