Friday, April 28, 2017

Ugh! Reactions from the exposures! Its supposed to be a rest and recovery day. Thats exactly what I'm going to do.

Friday April 14, 2017

The deer returned to the camp today. There was a herd of 7. One very large buck, too early for antlers, some yearling fawns and a couple of does. Rosie spotted them creeping along just under the brow of the hill below us. We just happened to have the window wide open so I'm sure they got a very good smell of us. They were tentative, so I'm thinking this was their first visit back. Last year they were so accustomed to us that they'd graze the grass patch right outside the RV window. Rosie remembered to be very still and quiet. I did have to mop up the drool after they left.

I didn't write yesterday, there wasn't anything to say that you haven't already heard. Trials with reactions and going up the hill to call in supplies. I did hear from Ron that my kids, grandkids and Ron's parents are coming for a visit Sunday, for Easter. I'd waited to share that until it was confirmed. My son is planning on moving back to Texas, my daughter-in-law's home state. She misses it. That will mean he won't get back to visit us any time soon. He may not get a chance to see his grandparents again. They are in their 80's. As it is they can't drive and Ron is going to get them and bring them back to my daughter's for an Easter dinner on Saturday. Ryan will take them home before he and his family go back to the valley. Ron would do it both ways if he could, but he still can't travel very far, or very much, with his surgeries. His doctor told him the type of mesh they put in takes longer to heal, but is supposed to be more flexible and stronger. He's struggling with being a sicky. I told him, "That's o.k.. I still hate being a sicky."

When I think of them all having a wonderful sit-down family celebration without me, it breaks my heart! I'm grateful that they are at least coming for a visit and up to see me too. But being left out of family celebrations, no matter how logical, practical, or rational it is, it still hurts. I'll never get over it.

Saturday April 15, 2017

Its a beautiful morning. Almost a cloudless sky. Just a few right where the sun comes up to reflect back the golden hues. There's still frost on the grass down below.

I busied myself yesterday searching out leaks. I got fresh chemical burns after going up to OHV to call Ron Thursday. I don't know what it was. I haven't spoken to Greg in a couple of weeks. Stuffs getting in somehow and I need to find out where. I opened the cab doors, dried out the windows and with the aid of my flashlight peered up under the dash. It appears as though a good portion of the firewall is damp. The seam must be leaking under the cowling. I figured that perhaps a wee bit more duct tape might be in order under there (you remember Ron put some in before I left home right?). For those of you that don't take apart cars, a cowling is the plastic "shield" between the hood and the windshield. I did have to figure out how to remove the windshield wiper before I could get the cowling off. That was something I've never done before. It was tricksy. Ron had done a pretty good job with the duct tape, however there was one spot where he'd taped a piece of gasket he'd glued that bent the gasket up so it didn't seal. I loosened that tape. Then I applied more tape making the gasket wider there. In another area I built a "channel" to direct the water over some seams and to an area where it could run harmlessly out underneath. I hope that works. Its the best I could do. I'll have to see about ordering some new gaskets. Since it hailed off and on all day I wasn't able to leave the doors open to dry it out in there.

Following that little chore I decided I'd check the wadding I'd put around all the places where tubes and wires penetrate, in case it had come loose. There were a couple. I re-stuffed them all and duct taped them for good measure. Then I duct taped around the access panel, in the bedroom, that goes under the shower. It always looked tight, but why not? I have three colors of duct tape: brown, white, and a blue/white floral. I used white around the panel since the walls are white. Maybe that will cut down on the gas fume problem. I figure there was probably some calking around the plumbing fixtures under the shower or the toilet, that got knocked out when the tires blew last year that I can't fix until I can tear the whole thing apart. Which I can't do until I have a safe space and can take everything out of here before I open that up. In the mean time I can mitigate the problem, from the inside, as much as possible. When I went up to OHV I logged on to the internet and ordered some plastic cutting mats. I intend to use one as a barrier under the stove. You see, there is ducting that goes from the LP heater, which I can't use, under the stove, through the wall between the kitchen and bathroom, under the toilet and shower. I'm guessing there's a T under there. What I want to do is unhook the ducting from the heater, and the T. I'll remove that section. I'll put baggies over both the heater connection and the T, and duct tape them on. That will keep any residual VOCs contained until I can remove the heater and the rest of the ducting. Then I'll use the plastic cutting sheet to cover the hole in the wall under the stove. I'll duct tape it in place. That will complete my measures to contain any fumes from the generator, that are getting up under the shower and toilet, until I can safely tear up the bathroom. I intended to do this last winter but it was so toxic that I couldn't get out of the house. I need to get it done before I start boondocking again.

After I did all that mucking about I spent the rest of the day spinning. I watched a couple of movies and then listened to praise music to fill the silence. Praise music makes me cry. It reminds me of better times. I contemplated Job who said to his wife when she recommended he "...curse God and die,"

"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" Its in Chapter 2, verse 10.

I relate a lot to Job. Not his purity. I can not claim that. It is by God's grace and gift of salvation, only, that I will be allowed into heaven. But I relate to his struggles, anguish and pain. 3:24-26 says it succinctly,

"For sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water. What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."

And this line from 9:27

"If I say, I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile, I still dread all my sufferings."

And this, 13:15

"Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him."

So many lines that I find I can relate to. Job keeps me from despairing. The modern church is rife with the deceit of the Prosperity Doctrine, just like Job's friends argued to him. Job shows us that it is false to believe that only blessings and prosperity come to believers. People of faith do have trials and troubles for what ever reason God chooses. "...Should we accept good from God and not troubles?" Like Job, I have no clue as to why I was not spared this. It grieves me, but I continue to hope in God.

Last night when I took Rosie out I got sick in my stomach. Later when I got ready for bed I discovered my gums were bleeding. This morning after going out, my teeth hurt. Someone applied something. Its not close. Probably a mile. The assault does not end. Its getting harder to believe that I can find a safe place. It will be by God's grace and provision only.

I couldn't do anything about it last night. I thought about it. I debated, but I would have thrown it all up. This morning I did cod liver oil and astaxanthin, vitamin C, coconut oil and iodine. Cod liver oil and astaxanthin are brutal to throw up in the night. They go into my sinuses and lungs. They burn. I'm also oil pulling with coconut oil. I gave Rosie a big teaspoon full of coconut oil, too. She loves it. She starts drooling as soon as I open the jar. She got cod liver oil and astaxanthin with her breakfast. I hope the toxins are gone by tomorrow.

Sunday April 16, 2017

Happy Resurrection Day! Rosie and I are groomed. The house is cleaned. We've unlocked the gate. It is less toxic outside than it was yesterday, so far. I hope no one decides to spray today. Yesterday there were more bad chemicals but I think they were from ATVers that were on the Flat just up the road. I saw a parade of them leave and when I took Rosie out about an hour later, it was much better. It is amazing how far "everyday chemicals" travel and how toxic they really are.

We have an hour and a half, give or take, before our company arrives. I've played out various scenarios in my mind about how it will go, but I have no idea what the reality will be. The grandkids will be great. Everyone else will have their own "stuff." I think they will all be tired from the effort it took to get here. Ron will have worn himself out to make it all happen. As you know he's still recovering from his surgery. Ryan and his family have traveled a long way. Especially Ryan, who had a 5 hr drive to get home from his job sight, before collecting his family and driving to our house. My daughter-in-law is undoubtably anxious because she wants them to move back to Texas and she knows we don't want that. My father-in-law is finally recovering from septicemia and having a knee replacement, replacement surgery. My mother-in-law is usually only happy when its all about her. It could have been a terrific day for her yesterday, it may not have been enough attention... My daughter is pregnant. My son-in-law may have kidney stones. They all had a really big supper and family day yesterday. Like I said, I imagine they are all tired and there will be "stuff." Normally I get so delighted to see people and distracted that I forget to tell them how much I appreciate their coming. I'm trying to remember to remember to do that. I think it will help them to know their efforts are appreciated.

4:48 p.m.

They have gone home. I had a great time playing with my grandkids. I had chosen an outfit that I would shuck into a sealed bag when we were done, so I could hug them all while they were here. Then I'd shower and put on my regular clothes. I did remember to thank them all for coming. No one seemed to have anything that weighed on them. Ron was worn out, but seemed to be o.k. with it. He took it easy while everyone ate and played. My daughter is having a girl! Thats very big news. No one had any new info on job interviews. I told my son, his wife and their oldest child (7 yrs) that I was very pleased for them going back to Texas, but sad for me. I know they are excited. I did tell my son to look for jobs around La Grande. He made a sort of positive comment, but I think he was just humoring me. 😕 I had a good time playing with the kids. I ran to greet them all and swung them around. My eldest grandchild, Mia, was trying not to get fragrance on me and hanging back, but I told her about my disposable clothes plan. So, she got her hugs too. I got my youngest grandchild from my father-in-law and hugged and kissed him. He was a little out of it. Later, he woke up a bit more. Then he was excited to see me and wanted me to hold him and play with him. The bigger boys were a bit fussy because of lack of sleep/naps. That happens on family weekends. I sent Joey to time out rock because he was whining. When he was in better control of himself I had him follow some directions before he could get out. You know, like jump up and down 3 times, turn around... That kind of thing. It reinforces following directions and they get positive feed back for doing the skill. Gabriel wanted to be sent to time out rock, too. Mia joined in. We made a game of it and everybody got to laughing. Later my son, Ryan, got out a small soccer ball to play with the kids. Ron was giving me my supplies, so I couldn't play. When we finished I went down and joined the soccer game. Since the "big boys" are 4, its not like its anything close to a real game. I mostly yelled "Not with your hands!" "Use your feet." And tried to demonstrate what they were supposed to be doing. We all had a good time with it, and they started to catch on. Everybody had their dogs, so there was that cacophony added to the scramble. Mostly I had Rosie stay in the RV. She gets excited and knocks the little ones over in her enthusiasm. Plus her lead could clothesline some little person or trip up an old one. My son had his dogs stay in their truck much of the time too. They get vaccinated and treated for fleas so they can't get near me. My daughter's 6 month old beagle got drug around on the leash by the kids, and vice versa, a lot. My father-in-law seemed to be in much better health. I'm glad. My son-in-law was in good spirits, other than he'd had trouble with a dog attack on his route on Friday. My mother-in-law, I'm not sure. She started out pretty good. But by the end of the visit I'd somehow managed to piss her off. Maybe I didn't give her enough attention. Maybe the kids gave me too much. I just noticed there was no warmth in her expression when I said goodbye. Nothin'. I thanked her again for making the effort to come. Hmm, maybe it was because I made some pro-Trump comments. She hates him. We got there because she asked me what I did up here and said it was too bad I couldn't read books. I told her I do read books on my ipad but I've already read everything I have, more than once. I mentioned my two latest books, "Hillary's America," by Dinesh D'Souza and "The Making of a President," by Roger Stone. Apparently she hates Stone too. Who knows?! Anyway, it was a very good visit in every other way.

I'd started heating the water for my shower when I noticed people packing up. Thats when I said my goodbyes and went in for my shower. Ron dumped the black and grey for me afterwards. Then he, and everyone in his car, went up to OHV with me to fill my fresh water.

I called my Dad while Ron took care of the water. He was asleep and had been a bit disoriented the last couple of days. His wife did not think it would be a good idea to wake him. I talked to her to find out how he was doing. I suggested some things that might help his memory. Things I'd noticed with Rosie, like balancing the fatty acids. She thought those things might work.

Then I drove back down, and pulled into my spot. Ron plugged me in and they left. After the fumes dissipated Rosie and I went out for her walk. We were back on our routine.

Monday April 17, 2017

I definitely have kidney and bladder damage from yesterday. My pee is the color of strong tea and tinged with fresh blood. It hurts, but I've had worse. I'm doing o.k. with getting in liquids still. That's good.

It poured all night. Hopefully the air is cleaner. I'll check the leaks when its a little lighter out. I got up at 5:30 a.m., and raised the blinds. We watched the light of the sun blossom as it was climbing up the back side of the mountain and the mist billowing and rising off the creek as the air warmed, spilling out through the tree tops. It was cool. The sun finally topped the peak at 7:15 a.m.

I did get those cutting mats I ordered. I'm waiting to begin that project until all the state and county workers who drive big diesel trucks finish commuting. I want to have the door open when I do it, so any fumes in there will roll out the door. Petroleum fumes are heavier, so they tend to roll along the ground/floor and seek the lowest spot. I'm also on the look out for Greg. He's got to be showing up here to get Anson-Wright ready for the season sometime in the next two weeks. Could be anytime now. If its sooner rather than later, I might be able to do laundry and shower more regularly. Wouldn't that be heavenly!

8:53 a.m.

Well, it wasn't as straight forward as I expected. There were bundles of wire and plumbing that came through there. I'd forgotten about them. I had to cut the mat to go around them. Some were too close to the floor to get duct tape around them to seal them tightly. I could feel the air passing through so I knew I needed to block it. I finally figured out that small plastic bags with a little air in them would work. I shoved them in the spaces underneath and applied a solid, intricate mass of duct tape over the whole thing. I used about a half a roll. GFETE. I'll tidy it up when I take out the stove. Hopefully that will solve my problem for now. I also discovered that there was no T. There was a separate tube for every vent outlet. I pulled them from the heating unit, duct taped those outlets, and collapsed the vent tubes (looks like dryer vent hose) and shoved it back through the wall into the space under the toilet/shower. I did remove the connecting hardware. I stowed those in the rear basement bin. It was a thoroughly dirty job. I cleaned up as best I could, but I trashed another shirt. I surely need that laundry day!

Its later. I got to thinking about the three tubes I shoved into the space under the toilet. I realized I only knew where 2 of them went. I had no idea where the little one came out at or what it is for. I got to wondering if it was for exhaust from the LP furnace or even air intake. Either way it most likely came out someplace that might be exposed to fumes. I certainly wasn't going to take apart what I just did to retrieve it. I could however remove the vent cover in the bathroom, under the toilet, and access it from there. Which is what I did. I rounded up a clean garbage bag from one of the basement bins and after removing the cover pulled the tube that was connected to it directly into the garbage bag. I was trying to keep the filth to a minimum. It worked pretty good. Then I reached in through the hole and pulled out that small third tube. I put a baggie over the open end and duct taped it. Then I stuffed it back in the hole and reinstalled the sealed vent cover. I had gone out and inspected the basement bins to see if I could see where it came out but couldn't find it. The only bin I didn't inspect that it could have exited in was the generator bin. Too toxic. Maybe that was where the fumes were coming from? The connection at the furnace was loose. It may have been a conduit for stink. I'll find out more when we fire up the generator next. I'm tired now.

The rest of the day I spent making sliver and spinning.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

I started plying at 6:30 p.m., last night. I worked until 10:00 p.m., then went to bed. It was a rough night and I am dragging. I heard it start to rain at 5:00 a.m. It was still raining hard when we got up before 7:00 a.m.. I intend to finish my plying, then take stock of everything I will need later, for Ron's list. I'll have to estimate what I will use once I find out what Roger's schedule is. And when I will be leaving. Today is the day I plan to call him and see if there are properties to look at. I'm hoping I can go look at stuff on Thursday. Once I get up to OHV I will have to patiently run property searches. I figure it will take some time since the internet is so slow. Once I have some suggestions, then I can make that call. After that, I can call my Dad, and Peggy and Julia.

3:15 p.m

Ugh! I don't get to look at properties until Monday. Bummer, bummer! Roger is worried about getting my RV up to that property. So I'm waiting until its "safe" at home. We'll pull into the driveway. Rosie and I will download maps, plug into power and change vehicles. Then we'll head out to look at properties to the east.

Its still raining here. Cold and damp. Fits my mood.

Wednesday April 19, 2017

Rained hard most of yesterday, last night and this morning. It was very damp in here. I hunted down all the condensation I could find, dried everything I could dry, aired out everything as soon as the rain let up. The cabover might be leaking again. It could be condensate, I'm monitoring it again.

I heard from Greg today. He asked me what wildlife I'd seen in the park? Then he told me that there's a wolf that has been spotted several times on the property just across the highway from the park. He said thats why the deer haven't been around. I have not seen any wolf tracks here at the park.

The park won't be opening until the 11th due to the cold weather. The water won't be turned on for 2 weeks, also because of the cold weather - freezing pipe possibilities. He said I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. I did tell him about the property I was going to go look at. He was quiet after I told him it was in a different county. I wondered if he was concerned about Ron moving away?

At 5:00 p.m. I drove down to Heppner and met with Ron to get my prescriptions. I didn't get back until almost 9:00 p.m.. Full dark. Ron did tell me his mother was very angry that I did not return down the mountain with them. He heard about it all the way home. When he got home and found out we'd forgot my meds, he heard about that too. Ryan and Justin took his folks back to Baker and they heard about it the whole trip. She's called Ron every night this week, so far, and complained about it. I told him he could call her tonight, on his way home and tell her I now have my meds. That should make her a little bit happier.

Thursday April 20, 2017

On a good note, the cab was much drier this morning. It rained, lightly, around 5:00 a.m. There doesn't appear to have been much leakage in that spot. Overhead its cloudy; to the south, I see blue sky.

I'm feeding Rosie cooked carrots along with her raw 2013 venison and balanced fats. She was quite excited about it. Apparently she loves canned carrots. Who knew?

12:00 p.m.

Its been another morning of airing it out and home fixit projects. Did I tell you I fell against one of my box valances and broke it a week or so ago? Well, I did. So this morning I removed it from the wall; a lengthy process, as everything in an RV is securely attached. I fixed it and added a couple more screws at thr weak point, to make it stronger. Next it was a bath day for both of us. I managed not to get as much water on the floor this time when I did Rosie. After I rested from that I tackled that leak coming around the a/c. I surmise that I just needed to tighten the mounting bolts. Its the disassembling the covers, etc., thats been daunting me. Plus I didn't want to take the cover off and spill a load of gunky water on myself... It wasn't too bad. The bolts are hex head, and require a socket wrench. I got a lovely full set from my daughter this last Christmas, specifically for my RV. I keep them in the rear basement bin, so I've been waiting for a weather appropriate day to dig them out. I have an 11mm driver in here, for my spinning wheel, but these bolt heads were smaller. I selected 3 possibles: a 10 mm, a 3/8ths and some others weird one a pinch bigger ?/32nds. The 10mm did the trick. I tightened it up. When its warm enough to calk and I do the rest of the stuff, I'll take off the outside cover and calk around the housing base.

I have a couple more projects to work on. I had Ron bring me all the parts to put in another electrical run. After I rest, that will be the next one I'll start.

Friday April 21, 2017

I changed my mind. I was too tired. So instead I did the other project. When I dug that small vent tube out in the bathroom I got some really stiff reactions. It occurred to me that there could be even more seams that fumes could get out of. I'd used up so much brown duct tape (the cover over the plumbing, that also houses the wiring and ducting, is brown) I had to ask Ron to bring me more. I wanted to give all the seams a thorough taping. I did that instead. I slept last night with out coughing. Of course. It also did not rain. I'm guessing both things helped. I have clear skies. If it stays clear for a couple of days I should be able to calk. That will take care of that problem.

A dog pee'd on my tire last night! I've never seen a loose dog up here. Of course if a dog pee'd on my tires any other night, they were too wet for me to notice because of the weather. It was finally a clear night so the rest of the tire was dry. The dog pee was still wet. Or, maybe it was a wolf? So, is that pee-mail to Rosie or territory marking?

Saturday April 22, 2017

I decided to seal the bottom edge of the wall between my bedroom and the bathroom yesterday. I stuck a piece of tape over the plug-in too. Its on the same breaker as all the other receptacles, so it won't work to plug my heater in there. My air purifier is aleady plugged into one of the outlets. I noticed the tape on the vent cover was starting to come off, so I removed it. There was quite the draft coming down the vent tube. I retaped it shut as quickly as possible. Reactions for the rest of the day. I read and rested instead of starting the new plug-in project.

Sunday April 23, 2017

I read most of yesterday. I did begin the plug-in project. I started cutting the whole in the paneling, from the inside of the closet. I did look to be sure the wiring would not interfere with the future tambour doors I intend to also add. That shouldn't be a problem. The problem that stopped my forward progress was that when I cut out the rectangle for the box I discovered that there is an inch between the closet wall and the bedroom wall. I assumed, since all the framing for the closet is exposed that they were the same panel. I need a different kind of wiring box. A nail-in one won't. Nail in, that is. There are ones with flanges that screw in. They might work better. I should try one of those. If not there's always duct tape...

We didn't go out much since there was a lot of traffic on the highway. I did vacuum the ceiling for cobwebs. In the afternoon I cooked a sweet potato for Rosie and I to share. The books I was reading kept talking about food. It made me hungry for something savory.

This morning Rosie appears to have gotten more pee-mail. I wondered if my getting up at 5:30 a.m. yesterday interrupted the delivery? I slept in this morning until almost 7:00 a.m.(no coughing, regurging or choking 😄). If the depositor is feral, any noise or movement inside the RV would make him cautious about approaching. If it were someone around here's dog, I doubt he'd be so cautious. My suspicions are its either a feral dog, or the wolf. A lone wolf spreading into new territory would be looking for a mate. If there are no available female wolves, he'd court a bitch. A feral dog may or may not be intact. I don't think a neutered male would be leaving calling cards, or hanging around. I doubt we'll see him before we leave tomorrow. I guess we'll never know for sure.

I did see some deer again this morning. There were 2 that passed by just up the hill, 50 ft from us. Rosie was quite excited.

Monday April 24, 2017

6:00 a.m. Leaving and heading NE to another part of the Blue Mountains to look at property. Its a 4 hr drive.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Rough night. Lots of chest congestion. Coughed hard all night. Too many exposures in town. I woke with a headache. Lack of sleep or dehydration? Struggling to get coffee in.

7:30 p.m.

I took Rosie out, fed her her breakfast and got right to work on our taxes. I took some breaks to take Rosie out, and stretch. Then made dinner for us both at 5:00 p.m., and went back to it until 7:00 p.m. I made good progress. I have a list of questions for Ron. I may be going up to OHV to phone him tomorow. Still not getting much in. I've regurged just about everything I've eaten today. It was another bright sunny day and I had all the windows and doors open again.

Monday April 3, 2017

I had more trouble in the night, it was about 3:30 a.m.. It was lung congestion, coughing and choking on copious, thick, gelatinous mucus. I managed to fall back asleep though. Rosie woke me by licking my eyelid around 7:30 a.m.. I was pleased that Rosie was feeling good enough to lick me. Then I realized I was not doing at all well. Every cell in my body was shaking and I felt so weak and sick I could barely stand. Circling the drain. I had no idea what had caused this! I tried coffee but still couldn't get it in. It took all the energy I had just to make it. I didn't know what was causing my problems and started running through everything I could think of to deal with it. It was horrible because I knew I needed to do stuff but I had no energy to do it. I'd scrounge up every bit of energy I could muster, then do one thing. Then I'd have to rest before I attempted another. It was like slow motion panic. Eventually I took Rosie out, but we didn't walk. We went just far enough so she could pee. I had to rest before making her breakfast. I gave myself B12 and glutathione shots but didn't get the relief I was hoping for. The shaking stopped but not the pain in every tissue, joint and bone. Purely by accident I figured out there was something toxic on the memory stick I'd got from Ron. Nothing I could smell, but when I just happened to put it away, I started feeling better. I got a zip lock bag and sealed it inside. I drank a bunch of water with cellfood and C. At one point in there I gagged up a "large" (for me) piece of carrot. Apparently thats been clogging me up for a couple of weeks. At least I think it was carrot. I didn't look too closely. It was orange. After that I was able to get more liquids in. I ate yogurt with supplements and seem to hang on to most of it. I even felt good enough to finish the section of tax documents I had left. But I'd get tired out fast. I rested a lot. Then I slowly stowed everything and drove us up to OHV so I could give Ron the update and email him my list of questions. The gate was closed and locked. I didn't think it had been long enough since the glyphosate exposure so I wasn't going to even try to get out and open it. I found a place along the road that still got cell and internet reception, even though it was weak. It was sufficient enough that I was able to email Ron the questions and download a document I needed. Then we came back. I didn't set completely back up. First I made a bowl of slightly warmed cake batter. It has lots of proteins, sugar and fats, but texture wise, its a lot like eating snot. Its because of the raw egg whites. After that I started feeling like I had energy so I took Rosie out for a meandering walk. Not too far. I did plenty of resting for most of the afternoon. I made eggnog at 4:00 p.m., Rosie food at 5:00 p.m., and herbal tea at 6:00 p.m.. I'm already tired enough to go to bed. That was my Monday. 😣

Tuesday April 4, 2017

I went to bed last night at 7:00 p.m.. I slept clear through until 3:30 a.m. when the coughing woke me. It was much better than previous nights. But the congestion was much dryer, so it was harder to cough up. After I got it all coughed out I was too awake to go back to sleep. I tried, but it was pointless. I gave up and got up, it wasn't yet 5:00 a.m.. Last night was the longest contiguous hours that I've slept in... years, maybe. 8.5 hrs. I reheated what was left of yesterdays pot of coffee. You know why; can't waste water. It went in pretty smooth. That was lovely.😋

Wednesday April 5, 2017

I slept through the detox hour! No coughing! No regurgitating! I started the night with coughing so I thought it was going to be a rough one. I worked hard at coughing stuff out, and figured I'd be up all night doing it. I was thrilled to be wrong. Somewhere in there I fell asleep, and didn't wake up until after 5:30 a.m.. What a wonderful way to start the day! The second great thing, the back window was dry! It just keeps getting better; I got my first cup of coffee in!

I got all the new information processed by noon yesterday. After that I played wii. I also took Rosie on a longer walk down to the lower gate. It was a pretty good day, except I played wii too long and my hands and wrists are sore. Today I think I'll find productive things to do. Probably spinning. I have a few repair/modification projects I've been wanting to work on, but I'll have to wait and see on those.

11:20 a.m.

It was overcast to start with, but now the clouds are breaking up and the sun is streaming through. I did some spinning first thing, while listening to praise music. I noticed Rosie needed her nails trimmed, which led to a complete brushing out. I did a thorough skin check. Most of her lesions are healed, except on her haunches. I worked at breaking up the large pieces of dead skin that were coming off and brushing them out of her hair. Mostly I just got them broken up. They didn't want to come out of her fur. She needs a real bath as much as I do. Since her seat cover was littered with dead skin cells I had to shake that out outside. While I was at it I shook out all her seat covers and all the throw rugs. Then I swept the floors and cleaned the heater filters. I'd worked up quite a sweat so I heated water, did the dishes, did a sink bath and gave Rosie one as well. Then I mopped up the water that had dripped all over the floors from Rosie's bath. She thought it wax a new game. Finally I did a little laundry in the sink and hung it to dry in the shower.

Thursday April 6, 2017

I got bored yesterday afternoon and played wii again. I was kind of shocked to see a guy hurrying past my window. No, not on the Wii, a real guy. I think he must be the land owner behind the park. The one that runs the cows. He was walking down the skid road behind my RV. Maybe he was checking fences and gates. He wasn't carrying anything with him. When we went out later I smelled bleach real bad. It burnt my eyes and throat. They must be shocking water troughs. I immediately started coughing again and regurging. I didn't get it to settle down until late in the night. My throat still burns this morning.

I won't decide wether to run up the mountain until later this morning. Bored, so I'll play wii, and try to come up with something else to work on.

Friday April 7, 2017

I did drive up the mountain. My email sucked in the answers to the last set of questions. I tried to download the updates to my tax program. I had to run the generater to run my computer. It still leaks fumes into the RV when the hatch door is shut. I couldn't get out. I needed to update. I had to live with it.

At 2 hrs I had half, then it glitched and I lost it. I gave up and made a different plan: I'll drive down the mountain to Ron's office to update and get my state when I've done everything else. I'll finish those when I'm there, and can send a pdf for Ron to print out.

I got real sick from the fumes. I was up coughing hard all night. I got the RV aired out today and completed everything I'd received by 3:00 p.m..

I made bowl of cake without the egg white, for lunch, much easier to get down. Then made cream of rice for dinner. I also got in some herbal tea. That was a lot to actually get in and retain.

Going to bed early tonight.

Saturday April 8, 2017

3:30 a.m.

I woke up at 2:00 a.m., to pee, and couldn't get back to sleep. I started coughing. We'd had a little rain so I thought there might be a little leaking/dampness that was causing me problems, so I got up. I haven't been able to calk; its been too cold. I'm making coffee. I'll probably read. I might nap on the sofa if I can convince Rosie to give up a little bit of the space she's appropriated.

6:14 a.m.

I opened the blinds to find that it had snowed in the night. Rosie and I went out to walk in it. Its still snowing.

12:00 p.m.

I finally was able to wash my hair! Heavenly. I emptied the grey water. We're waiting for Ron.

Sunday April 9, 2017

The sun came out and melted most of the snow by noon. The weather alternated between sunny, barely above 40° and blizzards most of the day. It was sunny while Ron was here. We walked around the camp ground. His surgery sights were still painful and sitting so long on the drive up makes them worse. Walking helps. It makes me sad that he is going through this, but it has grown his ability to empathize with my position tremendously. I think he used to believe I was faking some of my lethargy. He was always so healthy and full of energy that he couldn't understand how a person couldn't find the energy to do "x." Now he gets it. He told me that while I've been gone this month he's done only one load of laundry and no dishes. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. I see the knowledge in his eyes. He gets it. Its like a revelation to him. I shared with him how I was telling our son (I talked with him while trying to download) how his father hates being that infirm. Ron interrupted to say emphatically that he does. I went on to say that I told Ryan that I get it, because I still hate how infirm its made me. Ron and I exchanged a look. Shared knowledge.

I read for most of the rest of the day after Ron left. I had a very good night with minimal interruptions. I got up at 5:00 a.m., read in "Luke," and napped on the couch until the sky lightened up. After taking care of Rosie, I continued reading in "Luke." I have more questions now that I'm older and have had more trials than I ever did when I was young and thought I knew everything.

7:39 p.m.

I spent the day spinning and watching movies.

Monday April 10, 2017

I spun and watched movies until it was time to drive up and get an email of tax info from Ron. I spent the rest of the day entering it. Looks like I'll be driving down to his office tomorrow to get the tax program updates downloaded.

Tuesday April 11, 2017

9:15 p.m.

Done. Thank the Lord! I slept really well last night. Something else I'm grateful for. I woke up before 7:00 and fiddled around until it was time for us to go. There was a spray plane and other toxic things on the way down. Those water leaks are also air leaks so I got exposures. The spray plane I didn't expect because the wind was gusting above 10 m.p.h.. Silly me.

When I got to his office building, Ron directed me while I backed up to a corner were I could get shore power and pick up their wifi. I spent the majority of the time trying to get the updates downloaded. So frustrating. It kept crashing. Like 8 times. Finally a couple of the office ladies that use the internet at work left at 3:30 p.m. and mine stopped crashing. I double checked a few things and then went through the state section pretty quickly. I called Ron when I finished. He came out to the RV with a hard surfaced memory stick and I gave him a PDF copy. He took it back in to print it. I waited to make sure it printed out. Finally he brought the signature pages back out. I signed it. Ron gave us, Rosie and I, a couple of supplies that we'd forgot. He followed us to the gas station and filled up the tank. We left there at 6:48 p.m.. The light was already fading. It was raining and my "high beam" wasn't working. Since it was that special time when your chances of hitting a deer are vastly increased and I was driving through prime "hit a deer country," I slowed down. It didn't take that much longer, and I knew no amount of hurrying would get me back to the camp before dark. The last leg of the trip we drop off the top of a barren ridge and into a timbered canyon that threads its way up into the heavily forested Blue Mountains. Even though the clouds broke up and sometimes revealed a bright moon, it didn't penetrate the darkness at the bottom of the canyon, in under the trees. It was very nearly pitch black out when we let ourselves in the gate. Before we could even get plugged in, Rosie needed to potty. It was 8:49 p.m.. She'd been a very patient girl! I closed the blinds and put up the window blankets. I cooked Rosie's diner and rescued the plants out of the shower (it gets really cold in there). And, while I ate a little yogurt, I heated water to wash the dishes. I'm beat. I'm waiting to see if the yogurt stays down before I go to bed. So glad the taxes are done!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

The snow melted off up at OHV. I'm parked up here with power and sewer. The water is on down the hill, in front of the activity building. Cell reception in my RV is limited to only a small area in the cab over. You can guess how I located it. Heh, heh. The park's internet is on, but the passwords must have changed. I can get those tomorrow. I have the window open and am getting fresh air. Chilly fresh air, but that's what sweaters are for. It was a long trip. I left just before 7:00 a.m.. I made good time getting over the pass and back to the valley. Ron met me near my favorite gas station for supplies and news. The trip from there wasn't too bad, though we passed 4 spray rigs. Three huge ones and an ATV with a spray tank. No wind though. Which is why they were all spraying. There wasn't but one other car going the same direction as we were. Not many even on the road. I finally got set back up around 1:10 p.m..

This past week "wasn't anything to write home about." Literally. We sat in our RV, safe and warm and went out to potty (Rosie) twice a day. Our only visitors were a pair of Greater Canadian Geese. I surfed the net and posted inflammatory (to people that don't like facts) things on FB and youtube. Not trolling but sick of misinformation and craziness. Before I left home I was able to get another 6 lingerie bags of fiber washed and carded. I spun and dyed 2 skeins. So while I was listening to youtube videos I finished my blanket (for those of you that haven't already seen my FB post/pic). Here's a pic.

Rosie is continuing her slow recovery. She's put a healthy amount of weight on. Her feet are still tender. We won't be able to walk much. Her breathe and body wind has stopped stinking. Her ears still get crusty. It may take 6 months for those to heal. Hopefully being up here will benefit both of us... My ears have been itchy and crusty, too.

Thats it.

March 24, 2017

Our week at OHV started out well. Nothing happening, safe and warm. Then Monday afternoon when I took Rosie out I smelled campfire smoke and heard gun fire. Lots. There were single shots, deep and loud, echoing off the mountain tops: Large caliber rifle. There were bursts of shots, 3 or 4 together: Semi automatic handgun. Target practicers. I'm thinking they were 1/4-1/2 mile away. As I stepped out from behind the RV I was able to determine that they originated SW of me. The campfire smoke was coming from the same direction. Later in the evening I started having lymphadenopathy symptoms. Morning came and they were pretty painful. I took Rosie out again, and my symptoms escalated from there. My spine also became swollen and a blister formed and burst in my esophagus. I didn't smell anything when I was outside but there was obviously something getting me. I had to do emergency shots, shiatsu, acupuncture and herbal teas to knock it all down to a manageable level. After that I made sure to masked up to go out. I figured that the shooters had spray painted a target and it would dissipate in a few days. We mostly stayed in during the rest of the week, again only going out twice a day. I worked on spinning. The weather was cold, snowy, sleeting or pouring rain. Then yesterday (Thursday) afternoon the sun came out and the temp was in the upper 60°s. When I took Rosie out to potty in the late afternoon my tongue felt weird and it was hard to breathe. It wasn't long before my tongue began to swell. Yes, I had still masked up! My tongue more than doubled in size and I spent the night choking on floods of exudate from my lungs, sinuses, mucus tissue and throat; assumption: Glyphosate. This morning I got up and called the Park's office, as soon as they opened, asking to move to Anson-Wright.

It was snowing hard, so I figured I'd be able to unhook myself without significant additional damage. The cold temps would keep the chemical from volatizing. We drove to the gate, where I had to get out to unlock it. Then again to close it after we passed through. I was still feeling pretty sick but there wasn't another vehicle on the road, so I drove slowly. By the time we were halfway down to Anson-Wright the snow storm had turned to pouring rain. I did the gate thing. I noticed water shooting off all 4 gutter spouts on my RV. There weren't any trucks or equipment in the yard. I was pleased. I could hear a high pitched noise. It sounded like an alarm. When I got to our usual spot and tried to plug us in, I found there was no power. I thought maybe I just needed to go to the main panel and throw a breaker. So Rosie and I walked down the hill.

The nearer we got to the breaker boxes, the louder the alarm was. It was coming from the "Main Control Panel." It was labeled that, so I assumed it was. I examined the panel. It had a white diode light that was lit and the alarm was so loud that it physically hurt my ears. I had neglected to bring my glasses. I couldn't tell what was going on with the latch. I didn't really want to mess with something I wasn't sure about. It appeared locked with a combination lock. I decided to see if I could call the office from the camp host's office. Greg had told me the gate key worked in that door. We went back to the RV and drove over there. I was so sick and tired I didn't want to use up my limited resources by walking clear over there. My key worked but the office was too stinky for me. As soon as I opened the door, the stench of LP rushed out. I backed up as far as I was able and swung the door shut. On our way back to our spot we stopped at the breaker boxes. I took my glasses and did a better examination. It wasn't really locked. It was partially latched. The latch was complicated. I got it open. The alarm was deafening. There was a toggle switch that said, "auto, stop, man." It was set to auto. I tried each of the other positions. No change. The alarm kept on shrilly screaming. I checked all of the breakers, none were tripped. There were a lot of spider webs, bits of leaves and dead bugs. I used the plastic boat whistle on my key chain to clean them out. I wiggled them and pushed them to the top. I didn't want to wreck anything incase I wasn't even in the right box, so I didn't reset them. There didn't appear to be much more that I could try. The other panels were locked. I decided I should at least report it to the main office. I figured I'd be boondocking until Monday (the county guys work 4-10s), or maybe Ron could fix it when he came up with supplies. We drove back out the gate and up the mountain until I got a cell signal, and reported the problems. We returned to Anson-Wright. Doing the gate all these times was exhausting. I set up a few things and sat on the sofa in the dark. I only had one window shade open to conserve heat. I just sat and thought. Presently it occurred to me that maybe this was only this leg that didn't have power. I hate it when my brain is foggy. Maybe I could move to one of the other legs and have power, and heat. I decided the easiest way to find out was to take a small electrical appliance out and plug in to the 110 circuits. I rested a bit more before attempting that. The easiest thing I had to use was my coffee grinder. Just to be thorough I decided to start with the one at my spot. I was stunned to find out it worked! Well shoot! So maybe the 30 amp had a bad connection or the circuit was bad. Maybe it had spider webs or gunk.Before I did anything else I needed to check it again. I plugged it in and this time treated it a bit more roughly, incase there was debris fouling the connection. That happens sometimes. Who knows? It worked! I was a bit stunned. I was also relieved and feeling blessed. Then I realized that the alarm was still screaming and wondered if it would be safe to use? The responsible thing would be drive back up the mountain and ask about that, and also tell them so no one made a special trip to fix the power, just in case. Ugh! I really didn't want to do the gate thing again, but I need to be considerate of others. I unplugged us. Back Rosie and I went, inside. I packed everything up again. We drove down and did the gate thing, And repeated our trip up the mountain. I told myself, "Its not like I had anything else to do all day." Kirsti confirmed that Greg would not have come until Monday. She also let me know that Greg said it was safe to run the power and not to worry about the alarm. Well, that's good. And back down the mountain we went. I was dreading the gate thing. I encouraged myself by pointing out to me that it was just one more time, then I could rest. Only when we got here, it was wide open. I was sure I'd locked it. I drove in. There was a white truck in front of the rest rooms. I thought maybe a County employee who was putting some overtime, had to go to the bathroom. I continued up the hill to our spot. Turned off the ignition and waited. Sure enough he drove up to our spot to confront me.

I would have done the same, so I wasn't offended. He began with, "The park is closed." I grinned in response and told him, "I know it is. I have permission." I explained a little, giving my contacts' names. He told me he was actually there doing rodent control. I let him read my doctor's letter. He told me he understood completely, he used to be an applicator. We talked about pesticides and what he was using. We discussed VOCs and toxicity. We talked about detox and pesticide poison recovery. We ended up having a great conversation. He told me that he usually just locks trespassers in that come in behind him without permission, and refuse to leave, and sends the sheriff to deal with them. He asked if I had a key and did I want him to lock the gate behind himself? I showed mine to him, and said, "Yes please." We exchanged names. He took off to finish his route.

After he left and his fumes dissipated, I went out and plugged us back in. I turned on the fridge and the heat, then took Rosie for another walk. It was nice to be able to wander around safely again. Then we came back inside so I can rest. And here we are.

Saturday March 25, 2017

Ron brought supplies today. He figured out how to shut off the alarm. I read the rest of the day.

Sunday March 26, 2017

I read some more. Having trouble keeping food down again. I think it was stuff resolving out of Ron from his operation. I brushed Rose out. She still has lots of dandruff. Her eyes and ears continue to discharge. I played Wii. Frustrated day.

Monday, March 27, 2017

I woke up chilling and hurting all over. I can't say for sure what it was. I was recharging a battery and smelled battery chemicals last night. It could of been that. I did smell weird petroleum based fumes when I took Rosie out last night. Could have been that. I did smell the same fumes or solvent again this morning. Its been a very sick, painful, long, day. Greg did check in. They are pulling the pump at OHV. It will be down for 2-3 days.

Tuesday March 28, 2017

I'm feeling better this morning. I still have a headache but the rest is better. I set my internal alarm for 6:00 a.m. so I could take Rosie out before the traffic started. It was still dark so we waited until 6:30 a.m..

Rosie's cycle is finally starting to taper off. That will be a relief. The smell is terrible when you're as sensitive as I am.

This is the first time I've knowingly let my fresh water get this low. We're operating in the red. I'm trying to not let it stress me. I have no idea how many days I can get by "on the red." I haven't taken a shower or washed my hair since I left home. I've just been doing a "sink bath." Something I remember doing when I was little and we lived in a log cabin in the woods in Colorado. It was on a dam project my father was engineering. Surprisingly my hair and scalp are less "dirty" after all this time than after one day at home. Its gotten so bad there that my scalp is constantly extruding toxic gunk. I'd love a shower. I just haven't got the access to water to enjoy that luxury. I was going to do it at OHV, but the chemical problems nixed that... They won't be turning the water on here for a while yet.

Thursday March 30, 2017

I changed my truck's diapers yesterday. I told you about that last time right? The firewall between the engine and the cab leaks. Last year we thought the water was from the leak in the roof. We fixed that and some flashing leaks. We still kept getting water on the driver's side floor. So this winter, before his operation Ron cut the carpet and padding out (they were ruined), and went looking for the leaks. He sealed a few more things, but hasn't stopped it yet. The pieces he cut out he replaced. If it rains I pull them up and put disposable diapers on the areas were the water runs down, to soak up the water. The diapers last for several rainy days. The leaks aren't very big at this point, just big enough to ruin the carpet again if we don't do anything. It poured last night, so I checked them again this morning. They're a little used, but still have some capacity left. In order to find the leaks we'll probably have to disassemble the dashboard. Thats another thing, like rebuilding the cab-over, that has to wait until we have a safe space. In the meantime, diapers.

This afternoon I plan on driving back up the mountain to schedule with Ron for water and supplies. It may be more convenient for him to come tomorrow rather than Saturday. He can choose. We'll meet in Lexington. He'll get the gas station there to fill my fuel tank.

Greg just radio'd me and let me know they'll have the pump installed and working this afternoon at OHV. I still can't get out there until the glyphosate dissipates.

Friday March 31, 2017

We did drive up to OHV to make phone calls yesterday. There was an empty flat bed trailer in the turn-out across the hi-way from the back gate. I'm guessing it was used to haul a piece of equipment for the road project the county is working on. What ever was on it was most likely the source for the petroleum/solvent smell that was bothering me earlier in the week.

I passed Greg, driving down the mountain, as I was driving up. He did turn around and follow me back up to make sure that I was o.k.. We had a nice chat. I called Ron and arranged to meet him on Saturday in Lexington. He said things were pretty quiet there. He did tell me my step-mother, Debby, called and my dad was getting weaker, and "feeling despondent." She'd tried me, but since she couldn't get me, she called Ron.

I called my dad. He sounded a lot weaker. He could only talk for a few minutes. I try not to cry while I'm talking to him. He won't be with us for much longer and the knowledge breaks my heart. Once he's gone, thats it. There won't be any "meet you in the sweet bye and bye." He is an avowed agnostic. He believes there is a God, but he's basically shaken his fist at Him in defiance, the major of his adult life. We've had horrific fights over it. As far as he's concerned my faith is my biggest failing. He's always been intolerant of failure in his kids. When he detected something that he perceived a failing he verbally, unrelentingly, harangued us until we "corrected the problem." He was like a terrier after a rat. And like the terrier, he enjoyed the sport. He thought he could verbally beat Christianity right out of me. We fought over it for years. He would get quite irrational and abusive. I had to set very firm boundaries about it. If he couldn't be civil, we couldn't talk. Eventually he learned to respect my boundaries. Now I'd like to bring salvation up but I'm afraid he'll revert to form and give himself a stroke. So I just continue to pray that he'll repent before its too late. I know he knows the message. He was raised as a Catholic, and even taught CCD, before he turned his back on God. We certainly covered the message enough times. I hope that by my continued presence that he is reminded of Christ's love and forgiveness is still waiting for him. That is the best I can hope for for him. Even though he was a difficult father to grow up with, he's still the only father I have. I will miss him when he's gone.

7:07 p.m.

The sun came out today. I opened up every window, ceiling vent and door and dried it out in here. I dried windows and stripped the bedding and aired my mattress. I even opened the rear basement bin doors and aired that out as well. While waiting for things to dry out I plied yarn and took Rosie for walks. We ran completely out of tank water today. I'm piling up dirty dishes in the sink. I also dumped the black and grey water. I'm beat.

Saturday April 1, 2017

I woke up at 3:30 a.m. And couldn't get back to sleep. I gave up after an hour. Too many anxious thoughts.

I separated batts into sliver and watched movies until 9:00a.m. It looked like rain so I took a roll of Duct tape up on the roof and inspected for leaks on the rear window. It hasn't been dry long enough to calk and the duct tape might slow down the leaking. I found that the window seal needs replacing. That will mean taking it out, cleaning the surfaces and reinstalling with new adhesive. Thats going to have to wit until I'm in a safe location. The worst parts were the top corners and edges. I couldn't reach them from the top or bottom, but someone had left an unsplit piece of log by the fire pit for sitting on. I rolled it over and used it as a step stool to reach from below. I tore some thin strips of duct tape and applied them starting at the lowest point and worked my way up the sides, lapping them like shingles. I did the top of the window by hanging over the edge of the roof. Then I inspected the rest of the the back. All five top running lights' lens are severely cracked. That may be my most likely source of leakage. I put some thin strips of duct tap over the top edge of those as well. I need to place an order for those. I'd left Rosie inside, since she can't be off lead. She was letting me know she was not o.k. with it.

7:35 p.m.

I'm waiting for my leftovers to cool so I can put them in the fridge.

Rosie and I drove down to Lexington and met Ron for water, supplies and fuel at noon. He's wearing real pants for the first time since his operation! Big milestone! He's going to get the running light covers for me. I got the data from him to start the taxes. He didn't have much news from the kids. When Rosie and I returned I put larger pieces of tape on the light covers. It looked like it might rain again. After Rosie's walk I started on the taxes. The sooner I finish the sooner I can go look at properties. Around 5:00 p.m. I took a break and made our suppers. I made sweet potatoes for us both. I mashed mine. I added a few to Rosie's lightly scrambled eggs. While Rosie's was cooling I took her out again. She's definitely feeling better. She was actually prancing on our walk again. Its been awhile. I'm experimenting with balancing her PUFAs and CLA fats. I was doing some reading in Steve Brown's "The Canine Ancestral Diet" that said they get used up really fast when an animal is stressed. She was certainly stressed over that kale poisoning. Too few, or too many, can cause a number of problems, including skin issues. And apparently the oil needs to be matched to the protein source. Eggs are pretty complete but I added a tsp of coconut oil tonight. I've been alternating that with olive oil. Since I've started supplementing them her over all body odor has improved. Her nose is finally getting moist again, too. After dinner I went back to the taxes. I'm done for the night and I'm turning in early

About Me

In 2004 I was diagnosed with Chemical Sensitivity. It resulted from pesticide poisoning, a Toxic Injury. I lost about 98% of who I was. I've embarked on the journey of "Rebuilding me."
You can find me on Facebook at "Toxed2loss"