Born in Sài Gòn, Việt Nam in 1970, now living in the US as a claimed and renamed TRA

Mimicry

Around the same time last year, Ji in at Twice the Rice wrote an incredible post entitled “As good as the real thing” in which she mentions the image below.

In her post, Ji in takes a critical look at the image while placing it into the wider context of adoption attitudes and language. She touches on the idea of paper pregnancies and what it suggests about underlying attitudes APs may have towards adoption and the birth countries of adoptees. Yes, my jaw fell open as well.

As Kevin points out in his post Corny & Crass, “As you can see by the messages on the t-shirts, there’s an attempt to have it both ways: Recognize the child’s essential racial and ethnic differences, but flatten those differences as much as possible to give the impression that “love conquers all” and the adopting family has always been one cohesive unit.”

It strikes me as odd that while many APs claim to see no difference between genetically related children and adopted ones, some continually attempt to equate the two. The problem is there is a difference and in trying to make adoption more like birth, it’s like saying, “I’m going to pretend you were born from me, because that is better.”

In the case of TRAs/TNAs, what may be intended to signify appreciation for a child’s race and birth culture may unintentionally demean or misappropriate them them instead. The red thread quote that’s so popular among APs of Chinese adoptees is good example of cultural misappropriation.

Ji in concludes her post with a caution, “Intent does not always speak the same language as impact. Please be mindful that something intended as harmless and humorous might really be making adoption out as the punchline. “

Ina post featured at Racialicious, iBastard with his usual flare drives home this point as he illustrates how the impact of some of these shirts can undermine their original intent. Many of us have spoken out against the ever growing popularity of adoption related fashion trends and their objectification of adoptees and their birth countries. It’s been a year since Ji In’s post, but it seems we still have a long way to go. Recently, this was brought to my attention.

Am I crazy or is this the same exact ultrasound photo except that China has now been replaced with a badly ‘shopped image of Vietnam? As a photoshopper, the sloppy editing and lack of originality only adds insult to injury. If you’re going to do something like this, at least have some pride in your work instead of throwing together some cheap looking imitation. The connotations that could be gathered from a comparison of the two alone would fill up pages.

It’s bad enough that this image, like the China one, reduces an entire country to a source from which to acquire babies. The children that are adopted from Vietnam came from Vietnamese mothers who are human beings not cows on a breeding farm existing only to satisfy PAPs demand for babies.

It’s especially disturbing to see this kind of mimicry among American APs of Vietnamese adoptees. The China version just shocked and pissed me off, but seeing a Vietnam copy fills me with something close to rage. Vietnam is not like China and the two are not interchangeable.

As Vietnamese adoptees, our histories have their own unique set of circumstances. We come from a country that is still feeling the affects of a war that happened over three decades ago. The image doesn’t take into account that many of us ended up as adoptees because war tore our birth country apart, a war involving American soldiers.

When I look at that image and think back to the thousands of Amerasian children abandoned by their American fathers, I want to scream. Something about the image begins to feel like a slap in the face, even more so when I consider the Vietnamese mothers who lost their children because of war, poverty, social pressure and/or corruption.

It isn’t that I’m unsympathetic towards APs who want to celebrate a referral. I can understand the anticipation and joy, but surely it can be done without disregarding the loss others had to suffer in order for them to have that moment. If APs cannot be sensitive to this, then how can we expect them to provide the support and understanding for their adopted children who may be struggling to make sense of it all?

The whole thing is so entirely distasteful and disrespectful. I find it rather shocking that anyone in their right mind would consider these “ultrasound” photos otherwise. Those blinders they wear must cut off the circulation to their brains.

Recently I was on a Yahoo board and this very subject came up. One of the ladies linked your blog and many came to come read your feelings about these images. I think they also linked Ji-in’s blog and one other. Several of the paparents were appreciative of your views. Some weren’t, but I’m maybe that’s just because it was their initial exposure to different ideas about these images.

When I first saw the China ultrasound image, I’ll admit that I thought it was really special and even beautiful. I was even rather touched by the image. It was very hard for me to imagine why anyone could be troubled by it. For me, now, I can see other people’s views and I would never display an image like this because I know how hurtful it is to others. I can see why adoptees would find this image degrading.

That’s why I’m glad to see so many other adult adoptee bloggers out there. I think APs and PAPs need to read and think about these things. It might surprise some to know that I can even see why some APs and PAPs would like this kind of image. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.

And it’s not just about adoptees. When considering things like colonialism, globalism and the war, what might these images be saying to Chinese and Vietnamese communities not to mention the countries of China and Vietnam?

What I think adoptive parents should always keep in mind is that adoptees grow into thinking adults who may have the same opinions as I do. Which ones will and which ones will not can’t be predicted. Imagine how it might hurt an adoptee to look back on his/her parents and feeling they’d been intentionally insensitive to a community of which they feel a part.

I think at first glance those images could seem “cute” because we have such warm feelings about ultrasound images and the cozy anticipation of a baby. PAPs want that same excitement. Of course, it’s about us as parents-to-be… that baby doesn’t seem like a real, separate person yet; just as in pregnancy. Once we think about it, however, we have to realize the adopted child is a real, separate person with parents, a family, a culture… a country already. Then the image becomes shocking, rude, cruel, insensitive, dismissive, insulting, ethnocentric, egocentric, and highly offensive. Seeing that requires that we get outside our own perspective. Something good parents have to learn to do. Thanks for this post, and the reminder lesson. Your rage is entirely appropriate and sharing it is helpful.

Not long after I wrote that blog post, an AP e-mailed me telling me about a discussion board where some other APs were uh, “discussing” what I’d written. The general consensus seemed to be that I was over-sensitive and making a mountain out of a molehill. One of the APs remarked that she was looking for a similar ultrasound image to use on an adoption announcement, only with Ethiopia instead of China, and basically didn’t give a rat’s ass about why the image could possibly be considered offensive. Another AP kindly Photoshopped a homemade ultrasound image of Ethiopia and sent it on.

It just makes me feel all warm & fuzzy, the way some of these folks respect the birth countries of their children-to-be, and the adult adoptees who speak out with those children in mind. Really encouraging, don’t you think?
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