Off the Record: Political funding scam ends with a click

Everyone likes to get their name in the newspaper, especially the New York Times, but this was taking it too far. The story goes like this:

An inquiry came in a telephone call recently from Washington, D.C. I don't remember who or what the caller was representing.

The gal on the other end started by saying I had been chosen from a select group of community leaders in Michigan and across the country to serve on a special citizens' committee. This committee would give me a direct pipeline to senators and congressmen as well as the White House.

I would be invited to special political functions and associate directly with some of Washington's finest. As one of the chosen few, I would serve as a sounding board on key issues facing our government. I would even get to see President Bush once in a while.

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It sounded like the real deal, baby.

But being my usual humble self, I asked the gal: "Why me?"

The conversation progressed something like this:

Caller: "Because we know you will be able to provide valuable input on key issues," she explained.

Me: "How many people from Michigan will be on this committee? Will I be the only one from the Gaylord area?"

Caller: "We don't know at this point because you're one of the first ones we've called."

Me: "Oh, really. Interesting. How often would I go to Washington to talk to these people?"

Caller: "As often as you like, but probably not much more than once or twice a year."

Me: "How much time would this committee take? I already have a full-time job."

Caller: "We would only consult you on key issues, and each time would only take a few minutes of your time."

Something told me this was too easy. Where was her punch line? I knew she was leading up to something, Rather than ask, I decided to let her give the whole spiel.

Caller: "Are you still interested?"

Me: "Yeah, why not."

Caller: "There's one more thing. Would you like to have your name in an ad in the New York Times, along with other committee members from across the country?"

Me: "I suppose that would be all right."

Caller: "This ad would be seen by millions of readers. Just think of it?"

I was thinking. That's for sure. There had to be a catch.

There was.

Caller: "Would you be willing to pay $500 as a contribution toward the cost of the ad?"

Boom! Paydirt!

I figured if you had 100 committee members from each of the 50 states that would constitute 5,000 members.

If each paid $500, that would be $2.5 million. Now I know the advertising rates at the New York Times are higher than the Gaylord Herald Times, BUT THEY'RE NOT THAT HIGH! Where was the rest of the money going?

Me: "Based on my calculations, you're going to have some money left over after you pay for the ad, right?"