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Struggles: Being Single

Being single isn’t a bad thing to me it defiantly has its blessings I enjoy! Such as, my heart is being protected from pain, my relationship with God has grown tremendously and I needed that, or being able to make choices on my own, that’s the human selfish side. I guess with that it could look like I have a control issue in the decision-making, haha!! However, as I have grown up not only in my behavior but as God’s daughter, I have come to learn that there is still authority over me – God is my authority, and until recently I didn’t realize as a woman, my parents also are still my authority, until I am married. Which really doesn’t bother me, but I started wondering. Then what does being single mean? If I still have God and my parents authority to answer to? Well I googled that question to see what would come up and everyone has a different opinion on what that question means. To wrap it up, basically a few said they are not committed to anyone. But if they see someone attractive they will flirt or take them home. Other’s said the opposite no flirting, no sex, just hanging out with others, and if someone comes along that they take an interest in they might court them, after hanging out with them a couple of times. Interesting worldly views, in all honesty very common! So I started digging and looking for, who am I or how should I be as a single woman in Gods view! Well for starters my simple choices that I make are not technically mine to make. I still have to ask myself will this be pleasing or unacceptable to my parents and to God? Generally the answers are in the bible. For example with me, I enjoy watching movies and listening to music, but where does it say what to watch or listen too in the bible? We already know that those questions are not in the bible specifically so we need to dig a little deeper! We know we are born a sinner, but then we also are to have clean pure hearts. In Psalms 51:5, “For I was born a sinner, yes from the moment my mother conceived me“. Then down in vs. 10 in David’s prayer he asks, “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me”. God is saying we could make a bad choice if we don’t look to Him for direction! Even though we are sinful, we still can make the right choices, as long as we have a clean pure heart! So back to the question – movies, music, TV and such should I or shouldn’t I? Think on this for a moment with me, when we were children, and we went to do something such as watch a movie or TV. Our parents had rules for what we could or could not watch, to protect us from what it had said or showed. Why as adults do we say, well I am an adult and I can watch or do whatever I want? Interesting how we so casually allow things to be put into our minds or our lives! Even as adults we need to ask the same questions our parents did for us as children! Does it demean God, speak His Holy name in vain, does it teach you about God or does it create sin in your life? Those are a few of the questions we need to be asking? Is this pleasing to God? These questions are not just for movies, music, TV and such but in everyday life and choices.

The reasons we are to have our minds focused on being Christ like, is so that we are doing the work of our Father! Not filling our minds up with garbage. God wants to use this time in your life of being single, to nurture you, to transform you to be good and pleasing to Him. To follow His will for your life. That is stated in Romans 12:2. Being single we are still held accountable to our obedience to our Heavenly father and as a woman, our parents! This is actually comforting to me. For being a single mom, I have choices to make that if I decide the wrong thing it could not only hurt me but my children. So I have no problem calling my parents and asking for their opinion and advice. I want only the best for my children, I don’t want them to fall short because of a choice I put in their path. Going to my parents is a choice but not one I would go without.

As a woman we do have two authority’s that I have mentioned above, that are put into place for your protection! Now I know there are parents that don’t make Godly choices for themselves let alone there children. For those situations, I suggest that you take time and read, Eph. 6:1-3 and 1 Samuel 19:1-2. God teaches us in these scriptures that we are to obey and honor our parents, because we belong to the Lord and it is the right thing to do. Then in 1 Samuel 19, it talks about Saul trying to kill David. If you read in 1 Samuel 19:1-2, Saul asked his servants and his son Jonathan to assassinate David. Jonathan and David where good friends and Jonathan felt that it is not right. So he went and warned his friend of his fathers plans. Jonathan disobeyed his father. You see we are asked or should I say warned to obey our parents, if and only if it is lined up with Gods plans. You see it is stated very clearly in scripture that when a father or mother instructs their child to break Gods law, then and only then should that child only obey God rather than there parents. So in this situation, you are only under Gods authority.

Being single also means no relationship with the opposite sex! Do you struggle with that? I have! I do not like being alone, I like the idea of having a husband! It is not only the thought but the marriage relationship that Song of Solomon talks about. That love connection that can be found between a husband and a wife!

My parents have both told me that they will be in my choice for a boyfriend/husband, and believe me that I 100% agree with them here. I didn’t at first. I made choices that I should not have made. So now, it is comforting to me to know that in Gods timing, He will bring a man along that already is going to be okayed by my parents because I have taken the time to pray for Him and in doing so, God has the perfect husband for me! Until that time comes I am to serve the Lord with all my heart, live under my parents and God’s authority, and keep my mind and body pure for when God says now is the time. It can be tough at times to want to hurry things along, and these feelings can create struggles or sinful acts. So in keeping me pure for my future husband, I bought me a purity ring, and this ring that I wear is to honor not only my vow to God but to my future husband. It is to remind me daily, that God is preparing us for each other and for the right time! I have also fasted for my future husband, and have found myself with great peace! Praying for Him is mandatory in my eyes. With all these one might think it is obsession, but I say no, this is to honor God and keep me pure in my heart, mind and body! Because I want him to know when that day comes that I prepared myself for him to be pleasing in his eyes! God is taking care of him and his family, and in all that it brings great peace!

Being single brings so many people to sin. I know even being married there is a ton of sin being committed also. Just thinking about it though, look at the world today. We drive down the road and see billboards that advertise a lot of garbage. I remember, here a few years ago I went to Los Vegas, and the one thing that I remember from that drive was a billboard. This billboard said, “Your wife not giving you enough at home, come see us”! I was so angry about it. How is it that they can just up and advertise to ruin a marriage and destroy what God wanted for good in our lives! Not only that, but there are so many dating websites out there that are for men and woman to find someone whether married or not. Why are we allowing society, us to destroy what God has given us. I admit, I have been on dating sites, until my mom said no. Honestly I didn’t see a problem with them. But I wanted to be respectful in her choice. Thinking about it though, what do we do when we set up an account on there, we fill in our information, put pictures up, and then the website posts your profile to the webpage. We are selling ourselves or advertising ourselves. We are put up for someone to say no good, good, oh yea I like that~ and all that nonsense! We are being judged. Not only can that be hurtful to us, but we are critiquing God’s work! Are you worth just an advertisement or are you worth more?
In closing, as I was studying for this struggle I came across this web page:”http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/90-109″&gt;http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/90-109 ! It is a sermon on being single. I highly recommend either reading it or listening to it. This sermon is taught using 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. Paul talks about being single and describes the blessings or gift that God gave you! I found that sermon to be just what I needed to hear! So what are your thoughts on being single and still having authority over your life?

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