First people to die: two comic relief morons are stuck in the building overnight and giant dick creatures force themselves into their mouths in typical Alien sex/rape metaphors (well typical Giger sex/rape metaphors).

this is like when you knew that one kid a few years older than you when you were 14 in high school and he seemed so cool and you kinda looked up to him but then you run into him like a decade later and he's ringing you up at whole foods and he's exactly how he was in high school but with 4 inches more waist and 4 inches less hairline and now he's completely fucking intolerable and you suddenly realize he's always been awful but when you were a kid you were too stupid to know