Quoth the Raven....

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Raven had been struggling to hold herself together for the past few days. It had been hard for her to deal with people leaving, Dinah and Hoshi and Joan most of all. But Didi hadn't just left, she was gone, and Jono was in so much pain. She'd pushed aside her own grief to be there for him, taking her charge from Didi very seriously, watching over him and making sure he knew he was not alone. She worried though about making him feel smothered, so she was glad take time to rest and to allow Ben or someone else to make certain Jono was all right.

Meeting her new little sibling Kon at the welcome picnic had been interesting, particularly since he was from a world similar to hers and knew of a Raven who was a hero. Through and through, he had said, and after what she had been told by someone else from her future about how she was evil, it had been a great relief.

But one more newcomer had spoiled that pleasure. Zatanna. The woman who had proclaimed her evil and made the Justice League turn its back on her. The one who led them to stop the ritual that would have barred Trigon's way into this world. Whose actions led to Arella sacrificing herself to hold Trigon back. Who said Raven had enough darkness in her to break this plane.

She'd contained her anger -- just barely -- even as some small part of her struggled to accept that this Zatanna was not the same as the one she knew. But that allowed all her grief and pain to come rushing out now, everything from Arella's loss to her soul being ravaged as Fandom had been devoured by the void to Andy and his brother who seemed to hate her to Karla to people going away to Didi and Jono to Zatanna. She'd held everything in too long, and now it all came crashing down on her, and all she could do was huddle on her bed and cry.

[ooc: Mostly establishly since she's been heading for a minibreakdown for awhile now, but if you want to deal with Emo Girl, feel free to knock. ;) And thanks to Bridgey for pointing out that first tag.]

Raven had been struggling to hold herself together for the past few days. It had been hard for her to deal with people leaving, Dinah and Hoshi and Joan most of all. But Didi hadn't just left, she was gone, and Jono was in so much pain. She'd pushed aside her own grief to be there for him, taking her charge from Didi very seriously, watching over him and making sure he knew he was not alone. She worried though about making him feel smothered, so she was glad take time to rest and to allow Ben or someone else to make certain Jono was all right.

Meeting her new little sibling Kon at the welcome picnic had been interesting, particularly since he was from a world similar to hers and knew of a Raven who was a hero. Through and through, he had said, and after what she had been told by someone else from her future about how she was evil, it had been a great relief.

But one more newcomer had spoiled that pleasure. Zatanna. The woman who had proclaimed her evil and made the Justice League turn its back on her. The one who led them to stop the ritual that would have barred Trigon's way into this world. Whose actions led to Arella sacrificing herself to hold Trigon back. Who said Raven had enough darkness in her to break this plane.

She'd contained her anger -- just barely -- even as some small part of her struggled to accept that this Zatanna was not the same as the one she knew. But that allowed all her grief and pain to come rushing out now, everything from Arella's loss to her soul being ravaged as Fandom had been devoured by the void to Andy and his brother who seemed to hate her to Karla to people going away to Didi and Jono to Zatanna. She'd held everything in too long, and now it all came crashing down on her, and all she could do was huddle on her bed and cry.

[ooc: Mostly establishly since she's been heading for a minibreakdown for awhile now, but if you want to deal with Emo Girl, feel free to knock. ;) And thanks to Bridgey for pointing out that first tag.]

Raven had hated missing class on Tuesday, but she decided she should skip her Wednesday class as well. She was physically well, but emotionally she was still upset, both about having allowed Max to get that close to her and for having to be the one to tell Karla and 'Dite what had happened. At least she had been allowed to go home the night before and wasn't still restricted to the clinic. It was more comfortable here in her room, and right now all she wanted to do was rest and try to put vampires and Max attacking her and Joan finding her and she and Jen getting her to the clinic all behind her. She wasn't sure what Anakin was going to do to Max, but she trusted that it would be appropriate. She just hoped Andy wouldn't do anything that would get him in trouble.

Right now she was curled in her bed, alternately dozing and trying to meditate and calm her emotions before they got out of control.

Raven had hated missing class on Tuesday, but she decided she should skip her Wednesday class as well. She was physically well, but emotionally she was still upset, both about having allowed Max to get that close to her and for having to be the one to tell Karla and 'Dite what had happened. At least she had been allowed to go home the night before and wasn't still restricted to the clinic. It was more comfortable here in her room, and right now all she wanted to do was rest and try to put vampires and Max attacking her and Joan finding her and she and Jen getting her to the clinic all behind her. She wasn't sure what Anakin was going to do to Max, but she trusted that it would be appropriate. She just hoped Andy wouldn't do anything that would get him in trouble.

Right now she was curled in her bed, alternately dozing and trying to meditate and calm her emotions before they got out of control.

Her Buddy Movie class had not been too terrible, though she was not fond of climbing, and had used her powers to help her and Hurley reach their goal. Criminal Justice was a little frustrating because if it were a real crime she was convinced she would be able to sense who was lying. And the Art of Seduction -- that class was just frightening, even more so today. She would not be able to scrub the images of Professor Bond and his hip thrusts from her mind for some time.

And then there was Chuck. She'd sensed the discomfort of his hangover as she'd passed his room and tried to heal him, but in the process she experienced his intoxication herself, and then acted foolishly. Recklessly. And then the pleasant feelings had faded and left her feeling sad and bitter about not being allowed to experience pleasure or joy or love. Chuck had seemed understanding, but she had fled back to her room before she could act more the fool.

She tried to settle into a meditative trance, but it was difficult. Her mind was churning with longings for what she knew she could not have. She could not even allow herself to cry, for sorrow was as forbidden as joy. It wasn't fair that she could so easily heal the bodies and minds of others, but not her own. Doubt began to creep into her mind. Perhaps Azar was wrong, and denying her emotions was not necessary to prevent her father from corrupting her. How could pleasure and joy be used against her?

She could not find peace this evening, but she looked forward to her lessons tomorrow with Professor Skywalker. Hopefully he could help her start to ease her distress.

Her Buddy Movie class had not been too terrible, though she was not fond of climbing, and had used her powers to help her and Hurley reach their goal. Criminal Justice was a little frustrating because if it were a real crime she was convinced she would be able to sense who was lying. And the Art of Seduction -- that class was just frightening, even more so today. She would not be able to scrub the images of Professor Bond and his hip thrusts from her mind for some time.

And then there was Chuck. She'd sensed the discomfort of his hangover as she'd passed his room and tried to heal him, but in the process she experienced his intoxication herself, and then acted foolishly. Recklessly. And then the pleasant feelings had faded and left her feeling sad and bitter about not being allowed to experience pleasure or joy or love. Chuck had seemed understanding, but she had fled back to her room before she could act more the fool.

She tried to settle into a meditative trance, but it was difficult. Her mind was churning with longings for what she knew she could not have. She could not even allow herself to cry, for sorrow was as forbidden as joy. It wasn't fair that she could so easily heal the bodies and minds of others, but not her own. Doubt began to creep into her mind. Perhaps Azar was wrong, and denying her emotions was not necessary to prevent her father from corrupting her. How could pleasure and joy be used against her?

She could not find peace this evening, but she looked forward to her lessons tomorrow with Professor Skywalker. Hopefully he could help her start to ease her distress.

When Raven had finally made it to her assigned room, she was surprised to see how many things Diana had brought with her. It didn't bother her at all, though it made their room seem lopsided, because she had brought next to nothing. She hung her virtually identical simple black dresses in the closet, placed a few books, candles, and incense on her desk, and spread a blanket on her bed. There. She was unpacked.

At the moment this evening, Diana wasn't in the room, and Samuel was snoozing on her roommate's bed. Raven sat cross-legged on her own bed and tried to meditate, both to consider the events of the past two days and to calm her own nervousness. The trip to Fandom had been easier than she thought it would be, and she had made a friend in Claire and talked to Maron and Leda, an elf, as well. Once they arrived at the school, she found her roommate, Diana, and her assigned big sibling, Liir, who seemed a kindred spirit. She had also made the acquaintance of Turtle and Dor. Dor had told her that the school was home to students who practiced magic, so perhaps she would fit in better than she thought she would.

Still, she wasn't going to mention the half-demon part. And hopefully there would be no one like Zantanna here to sense her heritage and have her driven from the island.

Mostly establishly, but open for roommate or anyone who wants to knock or bust in. ;)

When Raven had finally made it to her assigned room, she was surprised to see how many things Diana had brought with her. It didn't bother her at all, though it made their room seem lopsided, because she had brought next to nothing. She hung her virtually identical simple black dresses in the closet, placed a few books, candles, and incense on her desk, and spread a blanket on her bed. There. She was unpacked.

At the moment this evening, Diana wasn't in the room, and Samuel was snoozing on her roommate's bed. Raven sat cross-legged on her own bed and tried to meditate, both to consider the events of the past two days and to calm her own nervousness. The trip to Fandom had been easier than she thought it would be, and she had made a friend in Claire and talked to Maron and Leda, an elf, as well. Once they arrived at the school, she found her roommate, Diana, and her assigned big sibling, Liir, who seemed a kindred spirit. She had also made the acquaintance of Turtle and Dor. Dor had told her that the school was home to students who practiced magic, so perhaps she would fit in better than she thought she would.

Still, she wasn't going to mention the half-demon part. And hopefully there would be no one like Zantanna here to sense her heritage and have her driven from the island.

Mostly establishly, but open for roommate or anyone who wants to knock or bust in. ;)