The Birthday Present

So this morning I am finishing his birthday present. It sounds simple enough doesn't it? Well it's not...its as if by finishing it, wrapping it, writing out the card...all of it is screaming "its really over...nothing will ever be the same". And this is no ordinary birthday present...ever aspect of it speaks to who we were to each other...and it harkens back to last year around this same time when both of our lives were in turmoil and we looked to each other for support and love and direction. I've always been one of those people who buy gifts that mean something. I agonized over them...i just don't go out and buy the standard gift...never have. And this one...tops them all. Now if I tell you its been in the works for about six months...you'd probably assume that a. it was expensive or b. i made it...opt for b. And that's whats got me aching today....i actually contemplated not finishing it, tucking it away with all the other "girlie memories"...come on...we all have THAT box of stuff...but then i thought "no...this meant a lot to me...and in the end i think it will speak to him and comfort him and somehow let him know that even though we are moving apart (today marks the first time in a long time that i haven't spoken, text, or had some sort of communication with him....48 hrs...lol...sad isn't it....so even though things are really changing this time...i will never forget the man who changed everything for me....so i finished it...and its wrapped...now i just have to sign the card and wait. I'm discovering though that NOC2 has a little bit more strength then i give myself credit for....surprise surprise....hugs all...life's nothing if not an adventure...and everything happens for a reason....time to sit back and wait for the reason to become clear! btw...i put my mood today as grateful...why? because i am grateful...grateful for all that i have, all that i am, all the people in my life who love me, all that is ahead and yes all that is behind....and above all i'm grateful for just being me...with all my faults, insecurities, all the good and the bad....because being me...is pretty much a good good thing...smiles, hugs, swingsets, early morning cups of coffee, and that robe!! noc2

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