Tag Archives: help me

We started off great. Breakfast happened with minimal whining. Awesome. We cleaned. He didn’t break anything. Went down for a nap easily. We ran some errands.

All was well in Whoville.

And then the afternoon hit.

First I changed a diaper, didn’t wrap it up properly and dropped poop on my floor. Great. Just what I wanted to clean up.

Then the little terror destroyed everything we had cleaned up in the morning.

Next he found my wallet and hid some very important cards from me for a few hours.

And he tried to jump off the couch, causing me to dive to save him, laying on the bump – not very comfortable.

Oh, and he wanted dinner an hour earlier than I anticipated, so hot dogs for everyone instead!

Finally it was bath time which meant bedtime would be soon, because I was one tired mama.

Bath time went semi-smoothly. Mostly he threw toys out of the tub and hit me with them (while they were full of water). He squatted to grab another toy, chucked it at me. And it was a funny toy. One I hadn’t seen before. In the half second it took me to process that, wonder where the toy came from, I realized it wasn’t a toy. It was poop.

Yep I had a feces throwing monkey in the bath tub, not my sweet adorable son.

Stupid me was suddenly surprised, yelled OH SHIT (no pun intended at the moment) and scooped said monkey out of the tub to prevent any more throwing of the feces, or further contamination of this now clean little person.

Of course my yelling and scooping scared him so he sat in the corner crying while I scooped poop out of the tub.

Finally I get the poop out, take him to put on jammies and find out…he wasn’t done. Now there’s poop all over his lower half and the towel I had wrapped him in.

At this point I’d prefer to give up…but eventually get him cleaned up, dry and calm.

All without any wine to assist me, might I add.

So if you think you had a shitty day….remember this story. (yes yes I went for the cheese factor there).