[music]
[interposing voices]
Lance Bass: Guys, I have to tell you,
I have not Googled myself
Lance Bass: in over a week.
Zac Efron: Wow, man!
Seriously, congratulations.
Lance Bass: Its small things,
baby steps.
Vanessa Hudgens: I'm so proud
of you.
Zac Efron: Hey, so, I have to
warn you.
Zac Efron: My Uncle Hank might
be stopping by
Zac Efron: with his girlfriend.
Sometimes they can be a
Zac Efron: little bit...
Thomas Lennon: (Voiceover) Zac!
Thomas Lennon: Whew! Zac-a-roni
and cheese.
Thomas Lennon: You remember my
old lady?
Zac Efron: Oh yeah, Randi, Randi
with an "I".
Nicole Sullivan: Yeah, that's right!
Thomas Lennon: Who's your
friend?
Thomas Lennon: And who are
her friends?
Thomas Lennon: He meant her boobs.
He meant her boobs.
Thomas Lennon: I'm allowed to look.
Hey, I know you!
Thomas Lennon: Lance Armstrong.
Zac Efron: J-just be
cool.
Nicole Sullivan: Alright, lets get a drink.
Get me to the bar.
Nicole Sullivan: Baby's thirsty!
Thomas Lennon: (snickers) Not mine.
Thomas Lennon: I'm serious,
it's not mine.
Brittany Snow: You sound like a
Libertarian.
Abby Pivaronas: Oh, you want to talk
about Ron Paul.
Abby Pivaronas: We talk about
Ron Paul.
Brittany Snow: Yes, I would love to talk
about Ron Paul.
Nicole Sullivan: Alright ladies, let's
bring it down a notch.
Nicole Sullivan: Who wants to play bruise,
rash, or birthmark?
Brody Jenner: But is Paul Krugman a true
Keynesian economist?
Thomas Lennon: Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Thomas Lennon: (whistles) pull the brake.
Thomas Lennon: Wow. Way to kill the party
vibe doctor, doctor nerd.
Thomas Lennon: Is this guy like doctor
nerd or what?
Brody Jenner: We're talking about
serious issues here.
Thomas Lennon: I'm not with
him.
Thomas Lennon: Hey! Hi. Carmen
Electra, right?
Carmen Electra: Yeah.
Thomas Lennon: If I had a nickel for
every time you gave me a
Thomas Lennon: boner, I would have four
hundred dollars.
Thomas Lennon: Oops, and five
cents.
Thomas Lennon: A very special person is
here today, but I don't
Thomas Lennon: want you to treat me like
anybody else, just because
Thomas Lennon: I was the guitar tech for
the Spin Doctors.
[a girl cheers]
Thomas Lennon: Thank you.
Queen Latifah: Can someone please get
this scabies medication
Queen Latifah: salesman out of here.
Thomas Lennon: Oh, sorry, not my fault.
Something I do for a friend.
Zac Efron: I'm sorry. These are the
biggest Band-Aid's I have.
Nicole Sullivan: Do you want to help
me put them on?
Zac Efron: Absolutely not.
Nicole Sullivan: No, just. I'll let you
rip them off later.
Joel Madden: You know honey, I know
we've been talking about
Joel Madden: marriage for a long
time now.
Nicole Richie: Yeah?
Joel Madden: And, I think, on a
beautiful day like this
Joel Madden: would be as good a
time as any.
Thomas Lennon: Hey, can I pitch you guys
a money making idea?
Jessica Stroup: Ok, so that was your
step-dad or your boyfriend?
Nicole Sullivan: It's all the same in the
back of a dark van my friend.
Thomas Lennon: Scratch and sniff
tattoos.
Joel Madden: Don't smell me,
please.
Thomas Lennon: Are you going to be
a dick or what?
Vanessa Hudgens: How do you get your eye
makeup to look like that?
Nicole Sullivan: Oh, you put on Wet and
Wild, Black Midnight, real
Nicole Sullivan: thick, pass out in your
own vomit, wake up the next
Nicole Sullivan: morning, ta-da.
Thomas Lennon: Do you want to hear a
movie idea?
Joel Madden: No.
Thomas Lennon: About a bear that goes
into space, called Space Bear.
Chelsea Staub: You did black market
Japanese game shows?
Nicole Sullivan: Mmmm-hmmmm.
Chelsea Staub: What is that?
Nichole Sullivan: (chuckling)
Chelsea Staub: Ew.
Nicole Sullivan: No, that's all right.
They're blindfolded, so
Nicole Sullivan: they think it's
someone else.
Nicole Sullivan: I'll take another
one of...Oh crap!
Nicole Sullivan: Oh, it's just
a waterfall.
Nicole Sullivan: I thought I was
pissing myself again.
Thomas Lennon: Three words.
Adults only water-park.
Zac Efron: It's an awful
idea.
Nicole Sullivan: Lonelygirl, I can't believe you're
here. This is unbelievable.
Nicole Sullivan: How did you get away
from that cult?
Jessica Rose: You have Internet
where you live?
Nicole Sullivan: Only if I climb on top
of my roof
Nicole Sullivan: and steal it from
my cousin.
Nicole Sullivan: Can I have another tequila and Snapple?
Thomas Lennon: Thanks for killing
my boner.
Nicole Sullivan: What's the grossest thing
you've ever done for money?
Thomas Lennon: Zefron - three million.
That's all I need.
Thomas Lennon: You shut your mouth Brent Ratner.
Shut your mouth.
Thomas Lennon: You're lucky there's
a wall.
Nicole Sullivan: What did the judge say
about your temper?
Thomas Lennon: Zac.
Thomas Lennon: Killer party man,
amazing.
Zac Efron: Yeah, whatever, you guys
can't drive you know.
Thomas Lennon: Like I got a driver's
license.
Thomas Lennon: Bus pass.
Oooh, ouch.
Zac Efron: You know what, Uncle Hank.
I am pissed.
Nicole Sullivan: All right, bring it, bring
it, bring it.
Nicole Sullivan: I just want to let you
know that that offer to
Nicole Sullivan: help me with my Band-Aids
is still open ... so are my sores.
Thomas Lennon: Hey Zac, look, I'm sorry.
I get nervous around all
Thomas Lennon: your fancy friends.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed myself.
Thomas Lennon: I'm just so proud
of you.
Thomas Lennon: I love you
so much.
Thomas Lennon: I'm so proud of you.
I love you so much.
Zac Efron: I love you too.
Thomas Lennon: I'm just drunk,
I'm sorry.
Nicole Sullivan: Wrap it up here,
Hallmark. I need smokes.
Thomas Lennon: Oh, you smell like a
waffle. Mmm. I love you.
Thomas Lennon: Oh, hey, sorry about
the hot tub.
Zac Efron: What?
Vanessa Hudgens: Babe! Your Uncle Hank took
another poop in the hot tub!