Dumb Criminals - Dumb Cops Edition

Guest Author - Vance R. Rowe

Who says that the word dumb only belongs to criminals? I thought that this month’s edition of Dumb Criminals should have a Dumb Cops edition, so here we go:

In July of 2009, the Denver Post reported that a police officer thought his fast food wasn’t coming fast enough. He had stopped at a McDonald’s restaurant drive-thru in the early morning hours and ordered breakfast. The officer grew impatient waiting for his McMuffin and thought they might serve him faster if he drew his gun. Saunders was charged with menacing, prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct.

I researched this police officer further just to see what happened with this case and found that he was cleared of all charges but in 2011, he was arrested again. This time for speeding and DUI. He was allegedly traveling at a speed of 143 mph in a 55 speed limit area. He was pulled over and had a breathalyzer done at the scene which registered a 0.089. The legal limit in Colorado is 0.08. The judge sentenced the officer to 5 days in jail, fined him 300.00 dollars and ordered him to perform 100 hours of Community service. Saunders was also fired from the police force and is fighting to get his job back, basically saying that the punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

In 2006, in Fairfax, Virginia, a man was arrested for breaking into a house. This man was a mid-level administrative employee for the CIA. A woman arrived home with her eight month old baby in her arms and was greeted by a man running down her stairs and out of her house. After an investigation, the police served a search warrant on the accused’s home and found out how busy he was. The police found a lot of cash, stolen antiques, jewelry, license plates, and a garbage bag with about 1,000 pairs of women’s undergarments. Most of these items came from fellow CIA employees’ homes. The man apparently broke into their homes because he knew when they would not be there.

We will finish up our dumb cop edition with a story that has a very dumb cop involved. This comes out of Tennessee. In 2013, a squirrel found its way into a Dollar General store and freaked out the customers. Animal control was called but the animal control officer was unavailable so a policeman arrived. With a scene right out of a cartoon or a comedy movie, the officer thought the best course of action was to fire his gun at the squirrel, multiple times. The store patrons were not sure how many shots were fired but they said it was a lot. When that didn’t work, the officer went after him with pepper spray. Customers then began leaving the store, coughing and hacking. The officer finally killed his prey as customers saw when they were allowed back in the store. They saw the dead squirrel under the officer’s foot. The officer refused to explain why he shot at the squirrel in the store, to his supervisor, and was promptly fired from his job by the mayor and the city council.