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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Teenage Soup for the Chicken's Soul

On a recent afternoon I was going through stuff in the house trying to eliminate the avalanche of junk that slowly acummulates anywhere that people have lived for a while. This is mostly accomplished by giving away very small track shorts from high school that no longer fit me. The public is generally appreciative of my refusal to wear said track shorts. While sifting through this great host of junk I spied a book called, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul." It is full of inspiring tales of teenagers becoming less covered in acne and then getting to be prom queen (and or tales of people who surf without arms or legs while raising money for children with cancer and being valedictorian- these stories never cheer me up for some reason). Anyway I saw this book and said:

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Behold a story is born.

Murder chicken is taunted by nefarious youths.

The crazy. It's in his eyes.

Teenage soup. Iphones for added flavor.

Murder Chicken makes a scientific discovery that if boiled down long enough teenagers morph into hash tags and annoying phrases. He records his findings dutifully - they could be of inestimable value to the scientific community.