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Tough Love

The afternoon started with the longest and most intense crying session from Janet that I have experienced. I looked in her window before I went in and she was eyes closed looking rather peaceful. I got into the room and she gave me a little smile, we had a brief chat, I asked her what she wanted to do for the afternoon, then she turned away and let the floodgates open. She wouldn’t/couldn’t tell me why she was crying nor did she seem to want me there at all as she kept turning away from me. After ten minutes with no sign of letting up or telling me what the issue was I got a little mad at her (tough love style) and told her she was being rude in turning away all the time. No reaction except for her starting to try to get out of bed. I encouraged and coached her for the first couple of attempts but each one resulted in more tears even as she was progressing towards the edge of the bed. In another tough love move I sat in the comfy chair away from her and just watched her try and get out of bed while crying for about fifteen more minutes. It hurt a lot to watch her as she was very upset but I felt like there was nothing I could do. She wasn’t in pain, this was all about frustration and awareness of her situation. I’m not even sure she knew I was there most of the time. I experienced a lot of different emotions and thoughts during this time and it really helped to solidify my devotion to her. I think I needed this pain to erase any doubt about my role in Janet’s life and as soon as I realized that she had calmed down and was about half way towards sitting up on the edge of the bed. I approached her with a new attitude and assisted her the rest of the way. I smiled at her and told her we are going outside for a walk whether you want to or not, it’s sunny and the fresh air will be good for you. She looked at me like I just walked in the room. I apologized for getting mad at her and off we went.

It was a beautiful warm Fall afternoon and we sat at the beach for about fifteen minutes. Janet had a smile on and I asked her if she wanted to get on with our walk, she said “just sit in the sun”. We did. She was very content and it was really nice to be there in the peace and quiet. We did go for a long walk enjoying the Fall colors. I even got to throw huge piles of leaves at Janet and make her laugh. I kept her out about fifteen minutes too long though as she got a little cold near the end so once we were back inside she went straight to bed to warm up a little.

We had a Skype session with Heather and Allan. Janet refused to use her loud voice but managed a few audible whispers. Cam managed to overcome yesterday’s technical difficulties and had a little chat with his mom. Janet may not have said much during these conversations but she was smiling and enjoying listening. I think it is very beneficial to stay connected this way. I noticed Mary/Gaga now has a Skype name so maybe we can connect with her on Tuesday. Andrew is up tomorrow as long as Rachel permits. 😉

Janet was pretty worn out by this time so I got her dressed for bed, had her brush her teeth, then I stretched her legs and said goodnight by 6:15 as she was pretty much asleep. A tough start to the afternoon but a loving and enjoyable finish.

Praying for a restful and healing night and a bright and progressive day tomorrow.