Hello world! And stop the lying.

So:

The seas aren’t rising. Not faster than they used to, anyway. 3.2 mm per year equals 32 mm per decade equals 320 mm per century. So in a hundred years, the water might be up to mid-calf if you’re of average height and you’re wearing one inch heels, you funky post-centenarian. Ignore the CSIRO bleating about acceleration of sea level rise, if you went to the link. These sad beards from a once-respected Australian scientific institution spend much time trying to make a wiggle on the TOPEX-POSEIDON graph look like a harbinger of horrifying hydro-doom.

Also, Arctic ice is fine. Ice extent at several percent below the 1979-to-present mean at the end of winter looks pretty good to me, and to all other sane beings. It’ll be interesting to see if summer ice continues its strong recovery since 2007. And by the way, floating ice doesn’t raise the sea level when it melts – remember Archimedes?

Antarctic ice has always been fine, contrary to malicious rumour by penguin haters. Antarctic sea ice has been increasing for 30 years. So an iceberg launches occasionally. Where did you think they came from? The Titanic wasn’t sunk by global warming (yes, I know that was a different hemisphere but same deal).

And don’t get me started on Greenland. It warmed a little between 1995 and 2005 – but it did the warming thing in the 1930s too, and cooled for years thereafter. It’s not melting. The good scientists say so, as opposed to the glory-hunting grant hounds of the IPCC all-you-can-eat scientific smorgasbord.

They’ve been lying to you. They’ve been lying to me. Now it’s time to have some fun.