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What is the meaning of this nightmare, Mr. Musk?

August 6, 2015

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A few weeks ago, Tesla CEO Elon Musk made headlines when he joined Stephen Hawking and a number other future-minded types in signing an open letter warning the world about the dangers of killer robots. You know, machine-gun-toting quadcopters, Terminators and what have you. The letter (which you can read here) went so far as to call for an outright ban on artificially intelligent death-bots -- so-called “offensive autonomous weapons.”

Years from now, the world will realize that calling for a ban on offensive autonomous weapons is precisely what someone secretly building an army of offensive autonomous weapons would do. Which is what we’re pretty sure Musk is doing, if the footage of this super-freaky Tesla Model S charger prototype is anything to go by:

There’s something creepily organic about the way that this metallic cybersnake seeks out the Model S’s charger port, rearing its head back slightly before going in for the kill connection. Asimo, despite the human-hating darkness etched into each and every last one of its integrated circuits, at least looks friendly.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other ways to accomplish automated charging, from inductive mats you park on to more conventional robotic arms -- ones that don’t remind you of the assassin robot from the cinematic masterwork that was Michael Bay’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

Of course, none of them are as readily weaponized. And none of them are quite as good at drumming up free publicity for Tesla -- which, barring some announcement of production intent, is what we’re thinking this prototype was chiefly designed to do. Or so we hope.

Graham Kozak
- Graham Kozak drove a 1951 Packard 200 sedan in high school because he wanted something that would be easy to find in a parking lot. He thinks all the things they're doing with fuel injection and seatbelts these days are pretty nifty too.
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