-“Don’t stop sibling squabbles. They will learn about compromise, survival and the art of negotiation”. I find that impossible but I will try!

-“Shovering children with praise – such as for brushing their teeth – can lead to an unappealing sense of self-entitlement”. You have to find the right balance between enough praise and too much praise, but also descriptive praise. Hmm, not easy but worth giving it a try I think. See prior post Calmer Easier Happier Parenting.

-“Don’t indulge fussy eating or make a big deal out of food, as they’ll just find something to complain about”. Not easy for fussy eaters. Join the club!

-“No phonics until school”. Let them enjoy school and when they are ready, they will learn and they will love it.

-“Forget flashy toys. Research suggests they are no better than traditional ones”.

I found those tips developed by psychologist Madeline Levine pretty straight forward but sometimes it’s good to be reminded.

Well, mine are far from perfect…and they are French! OK, they were born in the UK but have French genes. I thought it would be really interesting as a French mum surrounded by English mums (or other nationalities) to see what I took from my French culture and what I took from my English surroundings.

It seems to be a mix and I have identified with some of the advice from Pamela Druckerman which I intend to follow:

As parents, you are in this world to teach your children. So if you are losing patience, remind yourself that they are children (and not adults) for a good reason: they are still learning. And it is your job to teach them.

Stop thinking of your children first. Think about yourself (you as a mum and as a wife) and your children will probably learn very quickly that they are not the centre of the universe; and therefore they will behave a little bit better.

Pamela Druckerman talks a lot about ‘the pause’: make your children wait a few minutes, either when they are babies and wake up at night, or when they are older and want something from you (for example, when they want to talk to you, when they want their snack, when they need help with something, etc.) so that they learn to wait and be patient.

With regard to food, stick to a routine: 4 meals a day (breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner) and try to give your children a starter made of vegetables – for example, grated carrots, tomatoes or cucumber salad, avocado or soup. They will be hungry and will eat it. And it can also help them to learn to be patient while the main dish is still cooking.

And while you may or may not have read ‘French Children Don’t Through Food, I can tell you this: I know lots of French children and they are not all so well-behaved as the author might make you think. French kids have tantrums, they do not like everything you might put on the table and they do want you NOW!

Like this:

With 3 children, quality time with each of them individually is quite tricky and is actually getting trickier as they get older I find.

Jed, 3, is always trying to get my attention and somehow it’s by shouting, being naughty and talking non stop. I’ve been trying to spend some time with him just before putting him to bed and it ended being only 5 min as when I was reading him a story Mellow would always want to come and listen to the story as well.

So another one of my New Year resolution – yes there has been quite a lot now! – is to spend more time with each of them – Jed being the priority as he is often left behind. And with Mellow having homework daily now and little T being not so little and walking, it’s even harder and I can’t just let things happen by themselves, I need to be organised.

Up to now, I was being a bit selfish and on the one day a week I was not working but still had the nanny, I was enjoying myself and picking up both Mellow and Jed at 3:30, and therefore leaving Jed at after-school nursery from 2:15 till 3:30.

Yesterday I picked Jed at 2:15, we went home and had a lovely time. We played cards and talked while he had his snack. It was so nice spending some much needed quality time with him. And he really enjoyed it as well. I now need to be strong enough to say no to everything that’s going to come in the way. Yesterday already, a friend asked me for coffee before school pick up. I said ‘ No. sorry, I have quality time with Jed, I can’t!’. It was not too hard though, as it as the first day!

I think Jed is going to get used to it though and will really be expecting it, so a cancellation of our weekly ‘date’ will have to be backed up by a proper explanation.

I have also started to lay down next to him in bed for a couple of minutes before he goes to sleep and asking him what he did at nursery, what he had for lunch, who he played, what he did with the nanny etc…and every night he says I need to ask him what he had for lunch! So this is definitely something he appreciates – and this is a time when I’m all ear, nobody else is talking to me or trying to get my attention.

If you have any other ideas/tips of how to spend quality time with each of your children, please let me know.

Me & The Boys

Share this:

Like this:

A recent UN study (from an article read in The Week magasine) found that British children are at the bottom of a well-being league table! It identified that parents in Britain have less time to spend with their children, and find it hard to stop themselves from buying everything they see in the shops. Parents want to make sure their children are happy and think that one way of doing it is to buy what their little friends have and make sure they don’t fall behind their peers on the consumer good front. Apparently though, a recent survey had highlighted that what children want the most is to play outside with their friends and family rather than being inundated with countless toys, video games and expensive clothes. Let’s think about this next time we buy something for our children!

Me & The Boys

Share this:

Like this:

The Captain and I decided that Little Miss A – at the ripe old age of 3 – is old enough to walk to school. I noticed that most of the children her age were walking (although I suspect it was because they were booted out of their pram upon the arrival of a sibling) and could walk for miles. Admittedly, she’s not a great walker (she can’t take two steps before she starts begging to be carried) and being carted around in a pram doesn’t help. So we went cold turkey. For the most part, Little Miss A is coping well and has been a good sport. I, on the other hand, have not. Sigh. I miss my pram. I miss being able to buy a ton of groceries (“2 for 1 on watermelon? I’ll take 4!”). I miss being able to hang all my bags off the handles (and sides). I miss being able to have a stash of emergency provisions underneath. I miss being able to just zip from A to B. But what I miss most of all, is my baby as she’s now no longer a baby.

School has started recently and with it the nice pressure about the choice of the school. Am I making the right choice for my child? Reading through the recent issues of Angels & Urchins (http://www.angelsandurchins.co.uk/) there is a special School Guide supplement so clearly this is a hot topic.