The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence. Charles BukowskiDoubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. Voltaire

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless manAnd as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Once upon a research project, three guys were working together: an engineer, a chemist, and a mathematician. They're working in the lab together and all is well, when suddenly some papers in the filing cabinet catch fire!

The engineer says, "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He proceeds to get out the fire extinguisher and spray foam across the cabinet, the counter, the computer, their equipment, everyone and everything nearby - they spend the rest of the day cleaning up the mess.

The next day everyone is working, when the filing cabinet catches fire again! This time the chemist steps forward and says: "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He gets out a canister of carbon dioxide and surrounds the fire with a cloud of suffocating gas - as well as the entire lab! The department evacuates and they spend the rest of the day out on the front lawn until the room is able to air out.

The next day everyone is working again, with the filing cabinet wisely moved to the other side of the room. This works well enough, until suddenly the garbage can catches fire!

The mathematician jumps forward, it's his turn to shine. He waves off the others and says, "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He picks up the garbage can, dashes across the lab, and dumps the burning waste into the filling cabinet!

He puts his hands on his hips proudly and nods to his coworkers, "There we go! I've reduced the problem to a previously solved form."