A few months ago popular media was overwhelmed with reports of ‘Facebook misery’ among youngsters and teenagers. A report by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) analysed the potential psychological issues associated with social networking sites and stated that social media has great psycho-social effect, hitting us hardest where we feel weak or less privileged.

For example, a shy person may feel distressed after seeing photos of groups of friends hanging out together on a beach or at a restaurant, or someone in a difficult relationship may feel miserable after going through loved-dovey photographs of couples.

According to Beenish Nafees, Health Outcomes Consultant/Psychologist, Nafees Consulting Limited, UK, people who spend lots of time on social websites are more prone to loneliness and isolation.

Explaining that while there is no formal definition or clear diagnosis of ‘social media depression’ currently, Nafees stresses that comparisons and reactions, which are an inevitable outcome of social media activity, play an important role in spreading anxiety and lowering self-esteem.

People tend to “show off” on social media which can trigger envy and/or jealousy in others. Viewers may consequently feel that everyone else but them is probably satisfied with their lives when that may simply not be true.

Meanwhile, the reactions received on our own posts serve as validation and increase our dependence on others’ opinions. Not receiving what we perceive to be an adequate number of ‘Likes’ on posts can be disheartening; not getting enough ‘Likes’ on a picture of oneself can shatter self-confidence.

I still remember how I felt better when people who used to find me dark or less attractive in the real world appreciated me for my six-filtered photo on social media. It was surely a big win for me at the time to have the approval of 400 ‘friends’, but now seems so artificial.

However, as this is a subject still being researched, there is some debate as to whether social media causes depression or people with depressive tendencies are more drawn towards it; until a consensus is reached it is imperative to be responsible, especially in the case of children who are engaging online with increasing independence.

"I still remember how I felt better when people who used to find me dark or less attractive in the real world appreciated me for my six-filtered photo on social media."

Parents must constantly communicate with children, familiarise themselves with their online habits, set rules, and most importantly, set a good example. For instance, regularly ‘checking in’ at various locations, or posting pictures of food you’re about to eat sends the message that showing off is far more important than enjoying the moment.

For mature people like you and I, two simple rules can be applied to restrain the menace of melancholy caused by social media.

1. Try to give yourself a rest. If you are constantly scrolling through your phone, tablet, laptop to stay on top of social updates, then it’s time to take a break from devices and do something else, like reading a book or newspaper. Get involved in a physical activity – table-tennis doesn’t require a lot of space or equipment. And if you really need a hit of socialising, try actually talking to someone in real life (IRL).

2. Try not to obsess over what people say. A ‘Like’ on your selfie will not make you any more adorable to the people who actually care about you. Similarly, a comment that disagrees with your tweet is not necessarily a personal attack on you.

Being on social media should be a positive experience. If you’re absorbing too much negativity, constantly comparing yourself to friends or feeling the sting of rebuff, then maybe it’s time to disconnect for a while.

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It happns alot we dont even bother to take a rest, its really hard to escape facebook like really, nae hota aese

K@shJul 13, 2016 11:42pm

Kudos to aurora mch neededd article one of th kind whch cn educate masses. It would ve been even nicer if it has statistics too

JavzJul 13, 2016 11:45pm

Like selfie like selfie like selfie, True :/

Ume12Jul 13, 2016 11:47pm

That FILTER line.. its not only grls prob and friend req the most commn desire of boys lol

Hassan KamalJul 14, 2016 04:34am

We were born to live in the real world and not the virtual world at the first place. Too much technology weakens your spirit. Sports will give your body an amazing feeling that social media will never do.

imtiaz aliJul 14, 2016 08:49am

true

hamzaabbas2Jul 14, 2016 09:20am

tell me something, how one can stop scrolling through phone late at night like i feel i have insomia problem due to facebook and other sites

anonymousJul 14, 2016 09:26am

@hamza this is true, happens alot superb article. social media makes me feel like i m a loser. Social media isn't necessarily good for us. In fact, studies suggest that Facebook and other social platforms may have fueled a spike in suicide and crimes

prachiJul 14, 2016 09:28am

loved the illustration, could have been better but still worth it- these words seems soo damn my own story filtered photo always confusion or i would say biggest confusion

KAMILJul 14, 2016 09:49am

Nice one but i will suggesst writer to write about makeup tutorials as well, they spread hatred or negative feeling it never happen like they show :/

@Waqas your suggestion is good but dont you think its something in ourr mind that make us do so what do for that

MeJul 14, 2016 12:18pm

@hamzaabbas2
Yes its about your own mind and willpower. Ask yourself.. are you comfortable with the use of social media? If yes then continue it. But if its really getting on your nerves.. Take a break..Just try deactivating facebook or any other medium for a while. I did it 2 years ago just for short period but eventually I felt so much peaceful with out the social communication that I never wanted to get back to it.

hamzaabbas2Jul 14, 2016 12:42pm

@Me but its hard to escape man like kia karun uske baghair, nothing fascinates one person more than suffering through FB

YasirJul 14, 2016 01:29pm

I completely stopped using Facebook & twitter one year ago & uninstall the apps.
I am quite happy with my life ever since.

hamzaabbas2Jul 14, 2016 03:38pm

@Yasir and I destroyed my relationship because of it. its sick sometimes

Zaman ShahJul 14, 2016 03:51pm

A great analysis, what an irony husband wife sitting together both busy in mobile rather talking to each other, we have very much care for online distant friends than the people around us in Real world

Temptation for getting likes and comments is psychological disorder

Instead of enjoyment of our visits and feeling the moments, we are in hurry to send update

AliJul 15, 2016 01:31am

@Zaman true that, not only couples but evennn teens are so found of it especially snapchat nowadays. We are going down

AliJul 15, 2016 01:32am

@Hamza Bro play cricket or some sports its better to relax yourself from such tensions

AliJul 15, 2016 01:33am

@Ume12 the writer is full on honest with filter line though i like how she remain relatable to normal people lives. Our lives.

HaroonJul 15, 2016 11:44am

@hamzaabbas2
aggressively exercise a couple of hours before ur bedtime.. maybe that would make a difference...

AsgharJul 15, 2016 08:30pm

One of Marshall Mcluhan's observations on the Global Village was something akin to this. He said that when life was localised to a smaller area, you could excel in your talent and be appreciated.Now you compete with the whole world, are expected to produce for the whole world.

Comparing yourself to other people is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I used to do that a lot!. I have stopped now and I feel happier. We compare the flaws we know of ourselves to the best parts of someone else, not realizing that the other person also has flaws.

Tahira JavedJul 16, 2016 01:19am

@hamzaabbas2 Develop book reading habit before sleep, it would help. Also, give your mind relaxation time and sit still at least 15 minutes every day. Excessive use of social sites harm our short term memory a well.

mahnoorsJul 16, 2016 09:42am

good piece of thought, applying in real life is hard

mahnoorsJul 16, 2016 09:43am

@Hamza you are already famous, so many advices but all sincere though

UmerJul 16, 2016 10:16am

I am psychological patient and is so true

ZeefarJul 19, 2016 09:37am

Best article. Since last couple of month we got a lot of negative news and hate speech about Muslims and west. Now I give up on social media and enjoying novel, walking, spend time with families and pets. Thanks to share this article. Keep working on this. we need these type of articles to identify our own issues that we neglected because of less knowledge.

usman FarooqJul 20, 2016 01:44am

Amazing piece I have read.

MohbatJul 20, 2016 09:40am

@hamzaabbas2 Uninstall social App on your phone and use social media on your computer only.

Rabia Naz KhanJul 26, 2016 09:18am

I Quit Social media about 6 months ago, I used to spend so much time on it, After few years I really started feeling myself loosing all my abilities, my talents, the sense of responsibility, happiness.It worked as slow poison, I used to be a very social person (in-person) when I was in school and college. I had so many friends.I used to take interest in family matters. I used to have a very good time and I have so many memories of that time. I used Facebook for five years I have no such good memories or feeling for that span of time. I started feeling tired, depress, good for nothing, less responsible, and less "Social" although I had a bunch of friends on facebook. Now after quitting, I feel as light as feather, I spent more time on my other habits like reading or career oriented stuff, at home, for good nap etc. Now I am more interest to find about people like how they are, where are they and I talk in person with them now. I am feeling good and making memories again :)

Rabia Naz KhanJul 26, 2016 09:23am

@hamzaabbas2
I strongly agree with your point. Its totally depend on your will power. Quitting social media is just like quitting smoking. Only your will power can bring you victory.

Rabia Naz KhanJul 26, 2016 09:27am

@hamzaabbas2 Take a hard step. Unfriend all your friends, deactivate your account and uninstall the app. After some time when you find peace in your own personal life, you won't have any desire for going back to the social networking world again.

beautyJul 29, 2016 12:59pm

100 percent true and the worst i find makeup tutorial that give me the worst depression ever. kuddos to the writer, much power to you!

ahmadNov 23, 2017 01:15am

So true, for the past few months I was depressed as to why all my blissful moments were so short-lived. I kept sharing stories about my achievements and felt depressed after the likes stopped coming.

AhmadNov 23, 2017 01:17pm

Depends On you how you use it, they say excess of everything is Bad, That Applies on Facebook too.
I use facebook once a Week, I Quit smoking an year ago after 14 years. Nothing is Impossible When you are determined not to be affected. Things influence us When we let em to, simple as that!

Syed irfan aliNov 23, 2017 09:34pm

Probably i’m one of those outcasts who don’t use FB n Twitter. Totally agree with the writer that’s why shared with my friends on WhatsApp.

ZakNov 24, 2017 10:20am

How true, specially for the young.

madihaNov 24, 2017 12:04pm

good article

Shaheen KanwalNov 30, 2017 03:25pm

The only purpose of hangout left is "to take a picture and post it." You have summed up so well.