McDonalds, Subway and Dunkin’ Donuts have made a play to edge Starbucks out of the fancy coffee market recently, and now Canada is jumping into the fight.

Tim Hortons, our Canadian neighbors’ favorite coffee and doughnuts shop, is launching a line of espresso drinks in an attempt to compete with Starbucks. The move is reportedly an attempt to “appeal to more American tastes.”

Guess who hates Starbucks more than Dunkin’ Donuts and McDonald’s combined? That would be the gentlemen behind “The Gentlemen’s Rant.”

The same YouTube channel that brought you a diatribe against hipsters is taking on Starbucks, ranting that the coffee is so bad it just might be the reason for Seattle’s high suicide rates.

From the video: “Next time you’re in a Starbucks, remember where the company originated. Seattle. The city with the highest suicide rate in the United States — probably because people can’t get a decent cup of coffee.”

Forgive me if I seem a little jealous, but I can’t help but think Starbucks is playing favorites when it comes to Canada.

Look what stores in Vancouver B.C. and Toronto got: An interactive screen featuring dancing gold stars. I’m quite a few years out of kindergarten, but I seem to remember gold stars signifying a job well done — and that was usually just one star.