Can a penis be too hard or at the wrong angle?

It's an odd question, I know. My wife says sex is painful in all but a few positions (missionary, and doggy, but I can't go too deep on the latter), because my cock gets too hard and stands ramrod straight, at about a 45 degree angle from my stomach. I always thought this was a good thing, as it means I don't have to finagle it to get it inside her..it's just angled right. However, I find that we can't enjoy a ton of different positions, because she says it hurts. the "pain" has nothing to do with size, as mine is completely average (as much as it hurts to admit that to myself). I read that there's a tendon or something that secures it and holds it that way, and I'm terrified of surgery so I don't think that's an option..but is there a way to stretch it or something so I get some more flexibility? I don't think it's the hardness of it, I think it's the fact that it stand up like a fucking monolith and doesn't move around too much at the base!

Gold Member

I think the wrong angle concept is true, unfortunately.
I've been entered at a bad angle and it does hurt! Sometimes more so the next day than at the moment it happens. It isn't unbearable but it does make sex the next day rather unappealing! :ugh

I hope you get some helpfull suggestions from some of the men here, it sounds like an uncomfortable and frustrating situation for both you and your lady.

I'd suggest trying a wide variety of positions until you find some that are comfortable, but I'm guessing you've probably already done that.

I guess too hard is not an issue. Mine points more up than out and a bit to the side, but once it finds the target it is well guided to where it needs to go. I don't think you can hurt anyone - but what do I know.

In my experiences, all the pain involved during sex was from the penis hitting my cervix. Are you sure that you are not "bottoming out?" Like your wife, I could not have enjoyable intercourse in most positions, even with an average (well, maybe on the high end of average) man.

I know I have bottomed out before, and I know that doing so initially hurts her. Although after we're into it, it really doesn't matter how deep I go..so long as it's missionary or something close to it. She tried reverse cowgirl a few times and that's what really hurt. Is there a cushion or something I should be using to help change the angle a little bit?

And it might sound crazy, but I've seen these wacky indian men that stretch their cocks with sticks and shit like that..is there a way I can possibly (and painlessly!) stretch mine in such a way so that it has more flexibility? It's such an odd question, I know..but the resources for this sort of thing aren't really easy to find!

So you mean hanging a wet towel on it is a good thing? I can do that now but have always been told by my wife that that's not ideal.
Maybe it's HER with the problem! Is there anyway to compensate for a tipped uterus or whatever, by modifying the position..or something else I dont' know about?

Too hard..I dont think so but the angle may be the crux of your problems....naughty had some good suggestions I think with trying different positions. I dont have this problem myself but I have heard that some cases are surgically correctable.

BUT I agree about the cervix angle. I have a cervix that is not at the normal angle. Apparently, so the gyno told me its from starting ballet from the age of six whilst I was still growing/developing. I was very serious about my ballet dancing and they say that the amount of time I spent doing it has caused the problem. That was over 25 years ago though, so I am not sure what the gynos of today would think about that one.

Have you thought, and Im not trying to be a bitch here, that maybe your wife is not quite wet enough or that she just doesnt enjoy the amount of sex as much as you do?

I find if well lubricated, the thickness of my mucus tends to absorb the "hardness/pounding" of sex. Unless you are hung like a horse, which, in that case, I'm on the next flight! Hahahahaha I absolutely love it when I can feel a penis just hitting my cervix. Yummm

I’ve had a lot of women tell me my penis gets much harder than what they’re used to and I’m always a little perplexed by it since mines the only one I have experience with. Do they really vary that much in firmness? I too am ramrod straight, at a 45 degree angle and wondering what women prefer. At least my current g/f tells me she’s happy with it that way.

for me and my guy he has an average size maybe 6 inches is that average?enisdance /hard/and upward bend and it usually isnt a problem on my back sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable doggy maybe it is on my part that I had been with a smaller size before him

I dont think hardness is the problem but position is definatley it. The best solution would probably be to ask her what shes comfortable with. The karm sutra has many strange positions that you might wanna try. But remember to be safe and use lots of lube....i think...

In my experiences, all the pain involved during sex was from the penis hitting my cervix. Are you sure that you are not "bottoming out?" Like your wife, I could not have enjoyable intercourse in most positions, even with an average (well, maybe on the high end of average) man.

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Thats what I was thinking. Unless your penis is really curved I don't see that as a problem. And I've never heard of "being too hard". Is your wife's vagina shallow? A shortish passage can be problematic. You need to control your thrusts so your not banging on the cervix. Perhaps thats what she means by "too hard".

Have you guys tried anal? Thats a great way to compensate if a woman's vagina is shallow. Lots of lube, slow and easy and its Hello Nurse! Otherwise, cowgirl should work well. She controls the thrust more and can pleasure herself (or you can help).