So go ahead. DO. CREATE! it does not have to be anything conventional and it does not have to make you instantly rich, but I challenge you to OWN it – whatever it is, complete it, and share it with the world.

I could very well commit to blogging about food and recipes,shocking videos, clothes, or anything that will get a lot of views, instantly. However I have found in the short time I have been blogging that expressing my thoughts, and conviluted opinons with those who are dedicated readers, or those who just stumble upon my writing; is very theraputic.

I am just recently coming to terms with the fact that I have many talents. As people we are taught to humble ourselves and be modest, but modesty can be a crippling burden if it prevents you from showing off your greatness with others. Before deciding to share with the internet, I had to prepare myself to be admired.(which sounds crazy, but you will be surprised how shocking admiration can be). God spoke to me, and I am normally not one to say that, but i’m telling you his message was clear and he said that you have to SHARE YOURSELF.

Lately I have been humming the tune “everybody’s got their something”, and I hope those are actually the lyrics because if so it is SO TRUE that everyone has something they can offer.

Yesterday a few people said how much they NEEDED to read my fearless posting, because it spoke to their situation, and I am not even sure how to express how much I NEEDED to hear them say that.

My point here is not that we should all start blogging, but we should all begin to give a little of ourselves to the world, because the return can be so great. If you are a singer..then SING (and I can hear some people in my head telling me I should be singing but i PROMISE I am working through that stage fright haha) , if you are a writer than by all means grab a pen.. EVERYBODY HAS GOT THEIR SOMETHING. Sometimes we need to be boastful and arrogant about our skills.

I would like to share with you all a brief story (paraphrased) I heard Ms. Iyanla Vanzant tell:

She spoke of how her and her grandson went to get an eye exam. The doctor asked Ms. Vanzant where her glasses were. Ms. Vanzant said ,” I have perfect vision; I am only getting the exam because it was a two for one deal and my grandson wears glasses”. The doctor proceeded to tell her that she may not have known she needed glasses because “your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency in their focus”.

What a powerful metaphor we can all apply to our lives. How many of us have adjusted our goals to the deficiency of our current focus? Only aspiring to be what WE THINK is possible because we have trained ourselves to not see that ANYTHING is within our grasps.

I felt a real connection with this message because I have sat at the front of EVERY class all through grade school because I could not see the board in any other seat in the classroom. It wasn’t until I got to college that I purchased glasses, and talk about CLARITY! How many years will we as women, or we as people, or we as parents or whatever you define yourself by; allow yourself to live without real clarity. To have the opportunity to sit in any seat you want but see your vision board clearer than you would sitting in the front; out of the action.

I hope this resonates with a few of you. Never accept all you see to be all there is to be seen.

For those of you unaware “ratchet” is like new-age “ghetto”. (Advice to those unaware, move out from under that rock).

As some one who has seen her fair share of ratchet parents, I have also seen quite a few ratchet kids.

It hurts my heart because ratchet tendencies will spread throughout your brain and alter your decision making, like a cancer or dementia. That may sound extreme but those who are unable to turn their “ratchet” back off have trouble finding jobs, live in poverty, marry men with cornrows that barely reach their neck,etc. Bottom line is ratchet-ness is a serious problem affecting today’s youth.

However, I am pleased to announce that ratchet-ness is NOT genetic. Classic Nature vs. Nurture. Can you catch it? YES. Can your children catch it? Definitely. But no one is born with it so everyone has a chance, but no one is immune.

Ratchet-ness is spreading across the internet and the school system like crazy. Please keep an eye out for the regular symptoms:

symptom 1. If you don’t mind leaving the house in a scarf or wave cap, without a bra or proper underwear, with an article of clothing with the following words on it “b**ch, yolo, ni**a, etc.”

symptom 2. If you find yourself angrily screaming at service workers, the elderly, other people’s children, etc, while clapping at every word, with no regard for the people watching

Ratchet-ness in moderation is okay for everybody. If you really want to prevent “Bob Johnson” from turning into “Bob westsidegang Loyaltyovereverything Johnson” then allow yourself a twerk or two so that you will not suppress the urge too long!

As for the children. Expose your kids to more than you have ever seen. Give them a fighting chance and an opportunity to be fully functioning members of society. Ratchet parents are prone to raising ratchet children. If you feel you are too ratchet to raise your baby; befriend someone who is willing to teach your child some un-ratchet ways. So that your children can have a chance to make that choice.

Or raise them to be like lil Boosie’s daughter (so ratchet but she is SO CUTE, and a #thug)

Leaving a relationship can sometimes feel like a time warp. Maybe you started dating your ex-husband at 35 and now that you are 53 the two of you are getting a divorce. Or even if you fell in love at 24 and a baby and some years later you find yourself single and 30. So much about yourself and your life has changed!

When you are not on the dating scene you will be surprised how different the rules are.

Here are a few tips to help you transition from Seriously Taken to Suddenly Single:

1. Announce your newly single status GRACEFULLY! Let the ones who matter most be the first to know, so that they are not finding out from a facebook status. Let them trickle the news down, as you know they will spill, even if they swore to secrecy. When YOU are ready; throw a cute pic of yourself up online with a clever caption like:”Getting back to just loving myself”.

2.If there is even a glimmer of hope for your relationship DO NOT BASH THAT PERSON ONLINE OR ANYWHERE ELSE! Sometimes you are upset about something but the two of you get over it with time and reconcile, you never know what the future holds. Imagine how stupid you will look if you have told the internet about that person having an STD (true or not). Just keep your mouth SHUT when it comes to vengeful slurs, no good will come of it.

3.Embrace your new found freedom.Get drunk, get a little crazy, reclaim your youth (or whatever years) that you spent in that relationship, no need to rush into a new one. Spend some time getting to know the new you and REFLECT so you do not make ANY of the same mistakes. But remember; Let Loose, but don’t BE LOOSE!

4.Fight the Urge to Contact. This is like the hardest part! Especially if you are used to talking to your ex-mate about everything, or if the two of you have children, OR if you have a great relationship with their family OR if you have 2947 mutual friends. But trust me it is important to clear your life.space of a person so that you can be confident in your decision to move on. Let the relationship GO if it is over.When people say “lets just be friends” they ARE NOT ready to be single and not ready to be w/o that person. So give yourself substantial time before considering a friendship w/an ex.

5.You can’t change the past, but you can have one hell of a future!Go find what you want. Do what you want. Try something new. Love louder, laugh louder, live louder. No need to tastelessly flaunt how many dates you are on or how quickly you found someone new, let your spirit show how much happier you are.

March is National Women’s HisHerstory Month, which is a great time for me to quickly let you all know about my Thursday night (I’ll tie it all together I promise).

My Thursday television line-up included Parks and Recreation, Mary Mary, and Scandal.

A few things stuck out to me while watching all this delightful programming. Each of these shows have a woman as the leading role which is great, ehhh I guess. In Parks and Rec. there have been 3 weddings (if I am counting correctly), and a host of successful relationships etc. This season of Mary Mary is focused on Tina’s husband cheating on her and last night we found out Erica’s husband might have cheated too (SPOILER ALERT!), and then there is Scandal where the whole show is rape, cheating, well you know – things that are scandalous.

As someone who is still very young and a terribly, hopeless romantic I want to get married – ONCE! I am a very loyal and committed individual who expects the same in return. Watching Mary Mary (which is a reality show) and seeing a woman BROKEN because of her husband’s infidelity makes me nervous and very sympathetic for her. Seconds later turning on Scandal to see the main character glorified for sleeping with a married man, really threw me off a bit. I know that terrible things make for great TV but what bothers me most are other women’s responses to what is depicted.

I think about BET’s Being Mary Jane, I am not a recurring viewer but I have seen ENOUGH episodes (2 to be exact) to see that the show is centered around a woman who is sleeping with or who has slept with a married man. People love that show. Week after week I see tweets and fb stats where viewers are bashing the wives, and promoting the mistress and even the cheating husband. BET even has a promotion where they are telling people to embrace their inner Mary Jane. WHAT? What does that even mean?

My favorite responses are when people tweet things like “he wouldnt have cheated if his wife wasnt such a bitch”, or “if only they could just be together”. And I wonder how many of the women who are saying these things are turning over to a man, who is faithful.Or how many of them are dumb enough to REALLY believe he wasn’t that “in LOVE” with his actual wife at one point in time.

From a far, these shows look like they have some powerful women in it; journalists, white house liasons, the first lady, etc. But the women are crying in every episode, chasing men down the street, accused of stealing sperm. I guess that is as strong as women get…idk, im just sharing my thoughts on a blog.

But I just can not seem to get over the responses to this behavior. I am going to continue to watch Scandal but I am #TEAMMELLIE, #teamcommitment, #TEAM “You can act stupid if you want to but yo ass betta pull it together because you stood at that alter and vowed to commit and I dont care what kind of “love” you got for that 2 dollar tramp; till death do us part means the only way we getting out of this is in a coffin”. Those are my teams, yes the last one is a bit long, but you get my point.

I could go on for days and sorry for not being able to really delve as deep as I want to, but as I always say this is a BLOG not a BOOK!

I just want to ask, Whats up with women? Yall really think this is okay?

I like a plain pancake with peanut butter and syrup on top. If I’m feeling fancy, I like a few bananas sliced inside. =D

For those of you looking for a low fat alternative, I suggest using whole wheat flour and slicing some blueberries inside.Ditch the syrup and try honey, a scoop of yogurt, or peanut butter (but have a beverage for that one cause your mouth is going to be dry).

About to go make some RIGHT NOW!

For those of you not looking forward to making your own pancakes; go enjoy A FREE SHORT STACK from IHOP today ONLY March 4th 2014. All they ask is that you leave a donation for Children’s Miracle Network Hospital.