All us folks with septic tanks
Give to you our heartfelt thanks
for putting nothing in the pot
that isn’t guaranteed to rot.
Kleenex is bad,
Matches too.
Cigarette butts are taboo.
No plastics please – use the basket.
There’s a darned good reason why we ask it!

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Just a note to let you know,
About the things you should not throw,
Into the toilet next to this sink,
Unless you want this house to stink.
Our septic tank should not face,
No towels, napkins or hand-woven lace.
No chimpanzees, no fruit or toys,
Should grace our plumbing with unwanted noise.
These simple rules we think you will find
Will avoid those smells you just might mind.