5 International X Factors Better Than The UK Version

October 31st, 2012 - Chris Starr

Vapid Saturday night TV was never meant to last. It’s like eating sausage: you know that it’s not good for you, but you’ll gorge on the innards and offcuts anyway until it makes you sick, then you swear off it for months or years. In truth, the X Factor’s been on British TV screens for so long that it was getting stale years ago – but this year it seems we’ve finally had enough.

It’s languishing behind Strictly Come Dancing. People are outright calling it boring. And frankly, the singers aren’t that interesting anymore. They’re dull dull dull dull dull. Why would you care about any of the faceless, nameless no-hopers that are populating our TV screens this series? You don’t – which is why we’re all turning off in our droves.

But that doesn’t mean the X Factor’s a dead duck all over the world. There are some international versions which are way better than our UK one.

X Factor Albania

X Factor Arabia

Why it’s better than the UK X Factor: The full name of the show: The X Factor, XSeer Al Najah. It literally means The X Factor, Elixir of Success. Also, no Gary Barlow.

X Factor China

Why it’s better than the UK X Factor: It’s the X Factor in the world’s biggest-growing country, the size of the talent pool to pick from, it’s in a harsh centrally-controlled country so we don’t have to pretend that the show isn’t massively scripted like we have to here in the west. Also Chinese people are CRAZY TALENTED. Ever seen Cirque du Soleil? Also no Gary Barlow.

X Factor Lithuania

Why it’s better than the UK X Factor:The name, clearly. Also, I like the concept that this guy is sitting in his red trousers and pinstripe jacket in mid-air in the middle of the X. Hopefully he’s about to get pelted with tomatoes and the X is to help people target. Also NO GARY BARLOW.

X Factor Russia

Why it’s better than the UK X Factor:Hilariously proportioned hosts. Also it’s called Faktor A. And A is better than X. And NO FUCKING GARY BARLOW.