A walking tour of life, recovery, becoming a betterhuman being, loving friends and family, and dogs.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The gift of desperation

This has been a rough week for me; working full time then coming home to work on my business, as well. There is always a price to pay for bad decisions and one of the areas of my life where I am paying a price is in the financial arena. I am once again taking a Third Step in my life. I am still making meetings, despite how much work is piling up around me, because I know how easy it is to get overwhelmed if I miss too many meetings, no matter what the excuse.

This morning I hit my normal Saturday morning meeting. I heard a lot of good things, but the one thing that stuck with me, because I've been feeling blue, is what one member said. He said he was grateful that he was given "the gift of desperation" which brought him into the rooms.

I know that when I got here I was desperate and I was not sure NA would work for me. I felt like I was just too addicted. But the longer I went to meetings, the more I heard people just like me share their stories and I began to get some hope. I didn't stay clean immediately, but eventually, I did stay clean.

Today I was lacking gratitude until I realized how grateful I was that I, too, was given the gift of desperation.

About Me

I am a performance poet and writer. In a former life I was probably a gypsy. I am content wherever I am because I have the rooms of the Fellowship. I have 31 years of recovery, had a liver transplant in 2005 and am currently writing a daily meditation book for recovering addicts and alcoholics. I have two German shepherds, a fantastic husband and a great life.