Impossible Dreams

Is it okay if I just be real with y’all?

Have you ever felt unqualified? Like you’re so far away from your dreams and you have NO idea how to get there?

I’ve been struggling with that, lately. When I was 14, God told me (in a manner of ways that might be shared at a later date) that I would be leading worship for the rest of my life. And ever since then, there is nothing on this entire planet that I could ever imagine doing for the rest of my life.

I can see it now. Hands lifted high, hearing hundreds, maybe thousands of people worshipping Jesus. Seeing the looks of the faces on the ones who’ve never heard His voice before, or felt His touch, or experienced His love. Being the vehicle of His love is all I ever want.

Yet… I’m not there. It’s hard. My whole purpose of coming to ORU was to start my ministry so that I could do that very thing I explained above. Yet… I’m not there.

“Is it me, Lord? Did I do something wrong? Is there something I need to do more? What can I do? Why aren’t you using me? Maybe I’m not enough. Maybe I’m not what You’re looking for.”

These thoughts have plagued me. They still plague me, honestly. So I sought some help. Sort of.

The Holy Spirit led me to read “Unstoppable” by Christine Caine. I bought that books MONTHS ago and hadn’t touched it since. But, for some reason, I wanted to read it. And here’s what I read:

“It is never about how little we have. It is about what our little has the potential to become in the hands of a miracle-working God. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, what you can’t do, what isn’t enough. Just offer your ‘not enough’ to God, and he will multiply it into more than enough.”

Right now, my dreams seem impossible. I don’t have much to offer. I don’t have a platform where I could lead people into worship. But I have my guitar, and myself. And I can sit in my room and lead myself into worship. And as sad as that may sound to you, that’s all I have to offer. And that’s all that God wants.

All God wants is our everything, everything we have to give Him. And He delights in it more than you know.

Be not discouraged, loves. God is in control. He knew your end before you even had a beginning. And He knows the desires of your heart. Just give Him all that you have, and He will make it more than enough.

xoxo, Ticia

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”