This is a simple recipe, and the result has tons more flavor than the store-boughts. Less sweet, more zesty. Wash cucumbers under cold water and then slice into ⅓-inch rounds, about as thick as an Oreo. Peel onion, cut in half longways, and slice into semicircles the same width as the cukes. Toss the onions and the cucumbers in a bowl with salt and let sit for an hour. Rinse well in a colander, drain, and place in a nonreactive bowl. Tear up the leaves of celery and add to the mix, then set aside. Add the following to a saucepan: crushed red-pepper flakes, ground fenugreek, ground turmeric, brown mustard seeds, allspice berries,* apple-cider vinegar, ½ cup water, sugar, and maple syrup. Bring to a rapid boil and then pour over the cucumbers. Leave them uncovered for two hours and then refrigerate. When they reach fridge temperature, cover with plastic wrap. Done. But they'll be at their best a day or two later. Shelf life is about ten days.

*Note: You can use store-bought pickling spice instead of the preceding five ingredients, and you'll end up with good pickles, but not these pickles. And these pickles are better.