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"I don't miss playings," says the retired Yankee, as the press-shy captain leads website The Players' Tribune, where DeAndre Jordan and Tiger Woods break news (sorry, ESPN) and backers are betting on a media home run

Written by comedian Harry Hill and composer Steve Brown, it will be directed by Sean Foley, a double winner at the Olivier Awards, the British version of the Tony Awards. Hill previously said he had met with Cowell to discuss a possible collaboration on the stage show that is poking gentle fun of the music competition show that is a hit in various countries.

"X Factor - It’s Time To Face The Musical! goes behind the microphone and under the judges’ desk to reveal the (not necessarily accurate) story of heartache and laughter that keeps millions tuning in every week," the companies said in a statement. "In turn irreverent, anarchic and yet strangely touching, X Factor - It’s Time To Face The Musical! is an affectionate poke at the world’s most talked about talent show that will please fans and knockers of The X Factor in equal measure."

The show's protagonist is Chenice whose "Grandad’s iron lung interferes with the [TV] signal in her caravan," making her "the only girl in the world who has never heard of The X Factor," the description continued." When she accidentally stumbles into the audition queue with her talking dog, she starts a journey to both stardom and love. Along the way she’s joined by contestants with vastly varying degrees of ability, some judges you might well recognize and Max, a handsome ukulele-playing plumber and part time eco-warrior."

The musical will feature 19 new songs with music and lyrics from Brown (Spitting Image), with book and lyrics by three-time BAFTA winner Hill (TV Burp).

The creative team also includes choreographer Kate Prince, who worked on the London handover ceremony at the Bejing 2008 Summer Olympics, and designer Es Devlin, creative director for Take That, Kanye West and Pet Shop Boys stadium tours and designer for the London 2012 Summer Olympics closing ceremony.