Schlegel: The grad speech cliche

When I was graduated from the University of Pennsylvania decades ago, someone surely made a speech before the thousands of students, friends and relatives attending.

I couldn’t guess who for a billion bucks.

It was a totally dull affair. One by one, each individual college was asked to rise.

“Rise College of Nursing. You are graduated. Rise College of Women (yup, that was its name then): You are graduated. Rise School of Engineering: You are graduated.”

Since this is the season for them, I’ve been reading graduation speeches, and am amazed at how clichéd and boring most are. They fall into patterns of expanded-upon, long-accepted wisdom: Work hard; Give your all; Have big dreams; I came from nothing and made it, so can you.

Not much to argue with there. But the hope of a graduation speech making a difference to a bunch of folks who’ve just conquered years of study and the social angst of college life seems destined to fail. Everyone wants to get out of there, to hug and party, and heave a huge relieved sigh.

I was thrilled when I learned that retired former Texas Gov. Ann Richards would speak at my daughter’s graduation from Grinnell College years ago. I admired her as a liberal woman in a conservative macho state, who’d memorably said at the 1988 presidential convention that George H.W. Bush was “born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

Yet I don’t recall one word she spoke at the graduation. I was too busy running around taking pictures.

Two days later, I was sent to interview her at Drumthwacket, Jersey’s governor’s mansion, for winning the Barbara Boggs Sigmund Womanspace Award. I told Richards I’d heard her at Grinnell, and that “I’m sorry you retired. We need women like you in politics.”

“Who are YOU to tell me how to live my life? Go away! No interview!” she barked. And there was none. So much for cozying up to an interviewee.

As for graduation quotes I’ve read, only a few resonate. The late social commentator Susan Sontag told Wellesley grads, “It’s hard not to be afraid,” and to keep fighting fear.

Today, with so few traditional post-college expectations available — getting work at something you love or finding secure jobs with benefits — it’s still apt advice.

But I’ll bet grads don’t want to hear that life is harder than they imagine, requires hope, faith in themselves, and commitment to never give up. Humor comes off better, like Ellen DeGeneres in her Tulane University speech:

“…never follow someone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you get lost and you see a path and then by all means you should take it.”

Steve Jobs was wise when he told Stanford grads, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

If only he’d added “and try to be kind.” He wasn’t, and sadly, that’s a big part of how this genius who changed the world is now remembered.

So I say, “Without being weak, be kind. Question authority, but hear both sides. If you want peace, fight for justice, but seek a fight that won’t require killing.

“And call your parents. It will mean a lot to them, and a lot to you too if you ever have to move back home.”