Dancing Cheek To Cheek!

When our first son got engaged, Eric and I started taking dance classes. At the time, our only goal was not to embarrass ourselves at our children’s weddings! But, you might not be surprised to hear, it actually transformed our relationship in some surprising ways. I learned to close my eyes as Eric led me, and that kind of trust is precious. I have often returned to that experience when I’m off the dance floor and “closed my eyes” to my own stubborn way of thinking, choosing to trust Eric in other areas of my life. If I try to always lead, we can end up in places we shouldn’t be (in debt, for instance!).

Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean women don’t have a role in leadership or have an opinion — trust goes both ways, after all. But in dance, women follow, and because of that I was able to learn more about trust than I have before. I’ve see that when I give Eric the respect he deserves as a leader for our marriage, he bends his ear to me, respects my opinion, and we are able to decide things together. I learn to trust his Wisdom (his highest Core Value), he learns to trust my Love (my highest Core Value). When we were in dance class, this was put in motion (literally!). The more I melted into his arm and trusted his strength and guidance, the more he gained confidence in his ability. It is truly a living metaphor for how relationships best work.

Practically speaking, we also learned some wonderful dance skills. Whether it’s during a quiet evening at home when a favorite song comes on and Eric (without hesitation) sweeps me into his arms to dance, or at a dear friend’s wedding, or (like this week) on vacation in Cancun and a band begins to play — no matter where we are, we both have the confidence to get up and dance. We aren’t the best on the floor (or even close to as good as our children!) but we have fun — and we don’t look half bad either! We are comfortable and we are confident. Dancing has truly been an integral part of our metamorphosis into the couple we are today.

Our dance instructor has become a very dear friend, and we highly recommend her classes. Whether you are at your golden anniversary, single, newly wed or getting ready for your big wedding day, you can’t go wrong with her instruction. Check out her website here; she is truly a wonderful teacher who guides you not only on the floor but into a “new dance” as a couple.

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Core Values Counseling is an organization which equips Counselors, Coaches and Clergy in the use of the revolutionary new human assessment tool, the Core Values Index. We also offer a one or two day seminar for couples who want to strengthen their marriage by understanding each other’s values and identifying the values on which to build their marriage.

Lori Faren was on KATU here in Portland sharing The CVI watch the segment and share it with others. Sabrina Walters trained her in the CVI just last week and she did a great job with this short segment. The Team at Core Values Counseling uses it with all our clients to help them understand how they see the world.