====================================================There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctorand asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a dietfor three days

"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of yourdiet. Then skip the third day."

So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted forthe first two days, then she skipped the third day.

The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How isyour diet?"

She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day washard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."====================================================Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an adin the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down andapplied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the jobbecause it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she woulddo anything because she needed the money really bad. After longconsideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing thefactory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. Themanager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When hearived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch ofevery Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not twotesticles!''====================================================A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, shedecided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to theplayground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,''I've kidnapped you.''

She then wrote a note saying,''I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrowmorning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan treenext to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, ABlonde.'' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent himhome to show it to his parents.John Chow The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag wassitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and foundthe $10,000 with a note that said, ''How could you do this to a fellowblonde?''====================================================