Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine is a 2006 Academy Award-winning dramatic comedy film about a dysfunctional family going to a childrens' beauty pageant for one of the children, Olive. Traveling together in a Volkswagen Type 2 mini-bus each of them discover certain aspects of their lives that they could not see beforehand and how to relate to one another.

Grandpa: Well, I'm going to give it to you, anyway. I don't want you making the same mistakes I made when I was young. Dwayne, that's your name, right? Dwayne? Listen to me, this is the voice of experience talking. Are you listening? Fuck a lot of women, Dwayne.

Richard: Dad!

Grandpa: I got no reason to lie to you kid, fuck a lotta women. Not just one, a lot. So are you gettin' any? Is it going anywhere?

Dwayne: [shakes his head no]

Grandpa: No? Jesus! What are you? Fifteen? You should be gettin' that young stuff! That young stuff is the best stuff in the world!

Sheryl: [to Frank] He started snorting heroin.

Frank: [to Grandpa] You started snorting heroin?

Grandpa: [in response to Frank] I'm old! [To Dwayne] And don't you start taking that shit. When you're young, you're crazy to do that stuff.

Frank: [to Grandpa] Well what about you?

Grandpa: [to Frank] What about me? I'm old! When you're old you're crazy not to do it.

Frank: I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor?

Sheryl: Frank.

Grandpa: Are you kidding me? It was a fucking paradise. They got pool, they got golf; now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?

Frank: You must have been very busy.

Grandpa: Ho-oh. I had second degree burns on my johnson, I kid you not.

Frank: Really?

Grandpa: Forget about it.

Olive: [takes off her headphones] What are you talking about?

Grandpa: Politics.

Olive: Oh. [Puts her headphones back on]

Grandpa: [To Dwayne] Fuck a lotta women, kid. I've got no reason to lie to you. Not just one woman. A lotta women.

Frank: Actually, Olive, "a la mode" in French translates as "in the fashion". A la mode. "Mode" is derived from latin "modus" do or proper...

Richard: Frank, shut up.

Frank: No one gets left behind! No one gets left behind! Outstanding soldier! [saluting Dwayne] Outstanding!

Richard: I feel sorry for you.

Frank: [sarcastically] You do?

Richard: Sarcasm is the refuge of losers.

Frank: [sarcastically] It is? Really?

Richard: Sarcasm is losers trying to bring winners down to their level and that's step four in the program.

Frank: [sarcastically] Thank you for opening my eyes to what a loser I am! How much do I owe you for those pearls of wisdom?

Richard: Oh, that one's on the house!

Sheryl: Guys, stop it, stop it!

Frank: He started it!

Sheryl: What happened?

Richard: I'll tell you when I regain consciousness.

Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?

Grandpa: Olive, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

Olive: You're just saying that.

Grandpa: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality. It's because you're beautiful, inside and out.

Olive: Grandpa?

Grandpa: Yeah?

Olive: [tearfully] I don't wanna be a loser.

Grandpa: You're not a loser. Where'd you get the idea you're a loser?

Olive: [breaking down] Because... Daddy hates losers.

Grandpa: Whoa whoa whoa, back up a minute. D'you know what a loser is? A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning, they don't even try. Now you're trying, right?

Olive: [tearfully] Yeah?

Grandpa: Well then you're not a loser! We're gonna have fun tomorrow, right?

[Dwayne immediately falls into an emotional breakdown; Frank, Olive and Sheryl all yell for Richard to pull over the vehicle; Dwayne springs from the stopped van into an empty field] FUCK! [he collapses, screaming and sobbing, breaking his nine-month vow of silence]

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all of this, high school, everything.

Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?

Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.

Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he, uh, he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18-- ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-- those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that. "

Pageant Assistant Pam: [Dwayne walks swiftly by] Are you authorized to be backstage?

Dwayne: [emotionless; without stopping] No.

Dwayne: Hey, where are the dressing rooms?

Contestant: Are you even allowed back here?

Dwayne: Just tell me where the dressing rooms are!

Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.

Pageant MC: Aww, that is so sweet.

[Audience applauds]

Pageant MC: Is he here? Where's your grandpa right now?

Olive: In the trunk of our car.

Pageant Official Jenkins: [outraged at Olive's talent act] What is your daughter doing?

Richard: She's kickin' ass, that's what she's doing.

Frank: Do you want to go back?

Dwayne: Not really. [long pause] Yeah, we should go back.

Sheryl: "We have to let Olive be Olive."

Audience member: [once Olive is done dancing] YEAH! ALRIGHT!

Officer Martinez: Okay, you're out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California, ever again... ever.