Survivor Insider: This Shall Forever Live On as the "Poop Pants" Episode

Even as Tarzan's "poop pants" were boiling in the camp kettle [he insisted the stains were dirt, but we're not buying it, and we are traumatized!], the newly merged Tikiano was targeting their best (and only) cook for a torch snuffing.

Did they really send Jonas to hell's kitchen? And how exactly does someone gross out their tribemates so thoroughly [again, "poop pants!"] and not go home?

Although he was Tikiano's ("Year of the God") sole provider in the kitchen—and so gosh-darn likable—Salani's "Greek gods" identified him as the strongest player of Manono 2.0 (top dog of the underdogs).

Even though Jonas staged a last-minute plea to send home Michael, everyone but his three-time tribemate Leif wrote down his name.

Divided in two temporary tribes for pizza-party reward challenge, the orange team's Alicia, Jay, Sabrina, Chelsea, Christina and Troyzan spanked the opposition. The blue team's brain trust inexplicably designated little person Leif as the first person to dig tunnel under a log—"like a turtle birthing out of the sand," said Jeff Probst. Everyone had to follow to complete the obstacle course, and Tarzan stopped to argue with Jeff during the puzzle portion.

The reward also included a secret reveal: Although Colton left the game with his "souvenir" Immunity Idol, another one was hidden at camp. The next day, early bird Troyzan got his worm, finding the Hidden Immunity Idol while everyone was sleeping.

Just hours later, he won the first individual immunity challenge, besting even the tribes' actor/waiters by balancing balls on a tray the longest.

Troyzan was also sitting pretty as part of the Salani 2.0 alliance, who, at Kim's direction, agreed to vote out Jonas first. Publicly she argued that he was the underdogs' top dog, but Jay, Michael and Troyzan didn't realize she intended to keep Christina and Alicia around in case they decided to reform a women's alliance in the future.

Tarzan brought the most dramz tonight, spatting with Jonas and then crying when he mistook his targeted tribemate's scrambling for a genuine apology. And then…

You thought nothing could be worse than Phillip Sheppard's pink panties? How about Tarzan's own bikini briefs—with skid marks! "This is not poop, it's dirt!" he insisted before tossing his soiled undergarments in the boiling water Chelsea was saving for her own pretreated, sand-scrubbed clothes. Even as the horrified laundress scurried away to "go puke," the plastic surgeon persisted: "If it's boiling water you don't have to worry even if it's poop pants." Obviously the "captain" of his O.R. knows his way around a poop deck.

Cap'n Crunchy Pants wasn't so easygoing at Tribal Council, reigniting his feud with Jonas when he "disrespected" Mike by suggesting that the tribe vote out their strongest member. On his way out, Jonas tried to mend feces fences with the chest thumper, saying, "No hard feelilngs," but Tarzan gave him the version of a Coach hug-off by retorting "Hard feelings to you!"

The camp cook had the last word, wishing his tribe "good luck with that food situation." Or, as they would say on Seinfeld:

No soup sushi for you!

Are you going to miss Jonas? What about Colton? Sound off in the comments!