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I drink socially. That’s a no-brainer. But I also watch some movies and television socially. I find it very difficult to sit alone in a room and watch, say, “Iron Man,” “Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay,” or “Friends.” Yet I find it easy to sit alone watching “Donnie Darko,” “Brick,” “Lost,” or “Family Guy.” I’m pretty sure I saw “The Dark Knight” and “Garden State” in the theater by myself, because I am a huge loser.

As with the leads of most romantic comedies, the characters of “Lost” would avoid a lot of grief if they ever just came out and said what they were really thinking once in a while, instead of speaking in dialogue so cryptic it makes Nostradamus seem lucid. Say, for instance, a character rushes into the jungle to find someone, and his companion asks him what he’ll do when they finally meet. Character 1 says “I’m gonna kill him,” and without further comment marches cheerfully into the woods. Character 2 gives the camera a look like his mind is totally blown, but asks NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS WHATSOEVER. Come to think of it, I think this exact conversation has happened a few times with several different character permutations over the seasons.

It’s like the beginning of “28 Days Later” when the animal activists ask the scientist why they shouldn’t free the plague ridden monkeys. “Because they’re infected.” Okay, good reason. “Infected with what?” “Rage.” Um, FAIL.

“Rage?” What scientist in the history of science ever gave an answer like that? It beggars belief. BE MORE SPECIFIC, MAN! Throw some charts or graphs onto a projector. Give us a slide show, or at the very least some succinct bullet points. Were you a drama major who went into premed to please your folks? What gives, man?

As the audience, we might believe that without stilted dialogue like this, there would be no plot. In the case of “The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” probably so. In the case of “Lost” and zombie movies, surely the crazily unrealistic CIRCUMSTANCES would be enough.*

*I’m not knocking the plots of these entertainments. I’m just saying that having happily suspended all my disbelief for the main premise, I have none left to spare for the dialogue.