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Saturday, January 12, 2013

The F Word

A belly is beautiful.

Well it's a new year so I suppose it's time for more ill-fated resolutions. I blogged about some resolution alternatives here but there is one that I need to address head-on.
I've written about my weight issues before but moving to Austin hasn't helped. (How is it that there is not a bad meal to be had in this town?)
I'm heavier than I've ever been, excluding pregnancy.
With that comes a bevy of self-esteem issues along with too-tight jeans.
But I can't wallow about it anymore. I have a little girl. And I never want her to have the body insecurities that I do. So I've started on the path of accepting who I am and my less-than-perfect-by-model-standards body.
We don't use the F word in our home.
To L.E., her mom loves to eat and encourages her to do the same. Food is not something to be shameful about.
So it's about making healthy choices and that's where Weight Watchers is coming back into play. I re-enrolled in the program. So far I lost 2.5 lbs in three days, just for having salad instead of something fried.
Novel concept, I know.
I owe it to my daughter to embrace my body and its flaws because I never want to hear her say she thinks she's fat. It's much easier said than done, but it's liberating to choose not to obsess over how I look.
I aim to make better choices, know that I will have clothes that fit again soon and I'm still enjoying food.
I've even managed to carve out 1/2 an hour 2 days a week to run.
Our little girls are going to feel enough societal pressure to look a certain way. As much as I want to put her in a bubble and never know what Glamour and Cosmo are, I know that's not possible. But it will be matter-of-fact that women have curves and they shouldn't be ashamed of them.
It's not a grand discussion to have. It's just the way it is.
I have this delusional idea that by the time L.E. is a teenager, these crazy thin-spo girls won't be around anymore. Neither will sexting or frat parties. Like I said, delusional. Women will be considered beautiful no matter what size they are.
My L.E. will always be the most beautiful girl ever born.
Especially if she still has that adorable belly!