This blog is in chill-mode, but you'll still find archived posts and book updates/events.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Facing the Scary Agent, and Other News

Greetings, KuKd Strong Mommas and Inquisitive Guests!

A few of you have asked me for news flashes on this and that, so here you go.

1) Book - I am finally crafting a query packet to send to some publishers and agents. Eeeeeek! Somebody pass the Tums! This book became a sprawling (albeit cathartic) monster of a project, once I realized that, oh yeah - I actually have to somehow articulate a theme for my book! That is, my book has to actually be about something other than my own neurotic cancernoia! Imagine that. I think I've got some themes laid out, but still, rejection looms large.

I can picture exactly how it happens: a thick envelope containing my first five chapters lands on a tired agent's desk at 5:00pm while he or she is just getting ready to go meet friends for happy hour. He or she opens it up, sees the word "miscarriage" in the middle of a paragraph, and goes oh no. Another sappy survivor story. Boo fucking hoo. That's it. And then a gigantic leaden mallet with "YOU'RE A LOSER" comes down hard and goes BOOM really loud, I can hear it echoing all the way from that agent's swank office in uptown Manhattan. I'm already bracing myself.

2) Genes + stress = tooth grinding, and yes, I'm still doing it. I grind even during the day (not THAT kind of grinding, puh-leez!), as I've caught myself doing, usually when thinking about fertawindows and such. The last time I went in, the dentist stuck something in my mouth without warning and shaved some peaks off my right molar, making burnt-tooth-smelling smoke come out of my mouth. I personally thought it was: a) really mean to do that without telling me first; and b) counterintuitive to wear down an already-worn-down molar in hopes of somehow curbing the grinding effects. I've been meaning to look up her dental credentials online but haven't gotten to it yet.

3) Dark elixer - back on it full swing. Even brought an espresso machine to work, as if THAT isn't setting myself up for failure. Oh well; life is short.

4) No, I am not pregnant. You'll be the first to know if I am. Well, not really, but you'll be number ten or eleven at least.

8 comments:

First, don't listen to Monica. Her book is going to freakin' rock. I feel like I should start preordering copies right now!

Second, Monica, I think the tooth grinding thing is contagious. I'm starting to do it too. And I don't like it. Long ago I had acupuncture for a tight jaw (yes, needles at the back of my jaw) and the effects lasted until now. That was a good 5 years. Looks like it's time for more.

Third, every time I look at your blog I get that song "I get knocked down, but I get up again, can anybody keep me down..." in my head. I will never hear that song again without thinking of you.

I'm with Kristen; ready to preorder copies for everyone I know, especially my family who just don't get it or even seem to try. We all know you'll get a big book deal and then go on Oprah and jump on her couch.

good reads: kukd and ttc

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The Secret Club ProjectSubmit your art. This award-winning international project features artists exploring infertility, miscarriage and stillbirth.

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