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If you're like me, juggling is something that will always remain a mystery. No matter how hard I try, the balls only go in one direction: down. But that's not the case for everyone. In fact, for some people, juggling is so easy that they decided to combine it with another sport: jogging. Jogging + juggling = joggling. Thus, the weirdest sport (and most inaccessible for uncoordinated people) was born.

This 105-year-old man just set a new cycling world record. 105. Years. Old. Our target demo is, like, 14 to 30, which means you have no excuse for spending so much time with those dang video games. X-Box One. More like X-Box None until you set a world record.

The Associated Press reports that Robert Marchand, who had once been told by a coach to give up because he was never going to achieve anything on that bike, “set a world record in the 105-plus age category — created especially for the tireless veteran — by riding 22.547 kilometers (14.010 miles) in one hour.”

Marchand isn’t just a world record holder, he’s spent time during his 105 years working as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a lumberjack, and only took up biking at 68. Man, we’re all so pathetic compared to this dude.

The Huffington Post says that “the cyclist can attribute his athleticism to eating fruits and vegetables, not smoking, drinking wine in moderation, exercising daily and going to bed at 9 p.m.”

Unless you’ve got a fire extinguisher or three, good luck making a wish on this birthday cake.

You probably don’t know the name Ashrita Furman, but Guinness World Records sure does. He’s Guinness’ most prolific record breaker.

Having already climbed Mount Fuji on a friggin’ pogo stick, Furman took it easy on this one, enlisting Sri Chinmoy Centre to light over 70,000 candles on a single cake, smashing the previous record by over 20,000. This was done in honor of Sri Chinmoy’s 85th birthday, who would’ve probably agreed, this record is lit.

The cake was a simple sponge cake with a vanilla mouse. However, it was also shaped like a huge rectangle, measuring 80.5 feet long and 2 feet wide, says Guinness.

Obviously, no one was blowing this thing out, so there was a team of people with fire extinguishers to put make the wish. Don’t worry. They were CO2 extinguishers, so everyone was able to chow down afterwards.

Last we week, we shared a story about Matt Valks, the new king of Rubik’s Cubes, who set a world record by completing the puzzle in under five seconds. Today, a representative from the robot community has offered a rebuttal: Whatever you can do, I can do better.

In an awesome display of its power, Sub1 Reloaded, a machine developed by German tech company Infineon, destroyed Valks’ records and solved the Rubik’s Cube in 0.637 seconds. For Sub1 Reloaded, it took less than a second to make the 21 moves necessary for defeating its prototype’s record of 0.887 seconds. For the human race, let’s face it, it’s game, set, match.

“A microchip, the 'brain' of the machine, then uses a complex algorithm to lay out instructions on how to solve the cube in less than 0.15 milliseconds.”

“The robot's power semiconductor muscles then activate six motors, one for each side of the cube, which speedily twist and turn the puzzle, solving it in a fraction of a second.”

“We wanted to show that microelectrics are a great and efficient solution to problems faced by technology,” said Infineon spokesman Gregor Rodehueser to The Daily Mail.

Rodehueser said nothing of Sub1 Reloaded’s goal to strike fear in the hearts of men and women alike, but it’s destruction of the cube said all that’s needed to be said: Your planet and your puzzle cubes will soon belong to the machines.

Today in “what hands are actually for,” a Dutch man set a new world record by completing a Rubik’s Cube in under five seconds. The Daily Mail reports that 20-year-old Mats Valk deafeated the Cube in 4.74 seconds, making us look ridiculous because, let's face it, we can barely hold on to our phones for five seconds without dropping them and shattering the screen.

Valks took the record last weekend at the Jawa Timur Open 2016 in Blitar, Indonesia, where humanity actually learned that simply opening doors and holding mugs of coffee were the least of what the human hand was capable of. After a brief look at his Rubik’s Cube, Valks picked up the cube and beat the previous record by .16 seconds. Lucas Etter, the previous record holder, is now like the rest of us, wondering what these 10 digits are actually for. Now, everyone look at your own hands and wonder, what have you done for me lately?

Hidekichi Miyazaki, dubbed "Golden Bolt" after the fastest man on the planet, clocked 42.22 seconds in Kyoto to set a world record in the 100-meter dash for the over-105 age category — which had been nonexistent — a day after his birthday.

"I'm not happy with the time," the pint-size Miyazaki said in an interview after catching his wind. "I started shedding tears during the race because I was going so slowly. Perhaps I'm getting old!"

Indeed, so leisurely was his pace that Bolt could have run his world record of 9.58 seconds four times, or practically completed a 400-meter race — a fact not lost on Miyazaki.

...Asked about Bolt's latest heroics at the IAAF World Championships last month in Beijing, Miyazaki screwed up his nose and said with a chuckle: "He hasn't raced me yet!"

The twinkle-toed Miyazaki, who holds the 100-meter record for centenarians at 29.83 seconds, insisted there was still time for a dream race against the giant Jamaican.

Miyazaki said he thought he could get his time down to 35 seconds and we believe him.

During the Rubik Cube World Championship Finals, a teenager took the win for the second year running according to The Telegraph.

19-year-old Feliks Zemdegs, from Australia, defended his title by solving the puzzle in 5.695 seconds at the contest in São Paulo, Brazil.

There are a total of 17 different Rubik's Cube competitions at the biennial event and players are timed to see who can complete the puzzle the fastest.

Mr Zemdegs narrowly missed the world record of 5.25 seconds held by American Collin Burns.

For reference, here's Burns setting that world record in April of this year.

Zemdegs actually used to hold the world record and this better quality video shows that accomplishment. It really gives a great close up on how fast these fingers need to solve da cube (which is what I assume they call the Rubik's cube).

A Canadian man named Catalin Alexandru Duru has set the new world record for longest distance traveled on a hoverboard.

While this might just seem like fictional story from “Back to the Future 2,” it’s actually very real.

Watch in the clip above as Duru travels 905 feet and 2 inches across Lake Ouareau in Quebec using a prototype device that he built over a period of just one year.

“I will showcase that stable flight can be achieved with a machine one can stand on and control with their feet,” he said.

Unlike with the hoverboard in the movie, he’s lifted off the surface to a height of about 5 meters using his propeller-based board, and it looks a bit more dangerous than Marty McFly’s version.

Although this probably will helps the average rider avoid crashing into large piles of manure.

“This is a truly mesmerising and incredible feat in the world of engineering and transportation,” saida Guinness World Records spokesperson about the news. “It’s always pleasing to see individuals such as Catalin Alexandru Duru achieve a Guinness World Records titles such as this in which personal endeavour continues to amaze us all.”