Monday, August 20, 2012

When Thrilling Days of
Yesteryear first embarked on the Mayberry Mondays Project back in May
of 2010, I editorialized that one of the first episodes I tackled—“Youth Takes Over”—was also one of the worst of the entire series. Well…never let it said that I can’t admit
when I’m wrong. Oh, it’s still a stinker
as far as R.F.D. episodes go—but it’s not nearly as terrible (it’s one of
the “Andy Taylor” episodes, so at least it has that going for it) as today’s
installment: “Sensitivity Training.”

As our episode opens, we find pedantic county clerk Howard
Sprague (Jack Dodson) chivalrously escorting a young lovely who answers to
“Carol” to her doorstep, presumably after the two of them spent a lovely
evening with one another at the movies.
“Carol” is played by an actress named Maggie Malooly—a female thespian
that, according to the IMDb, I’ve seen in episodes of The Flying Nun, The
Brady Bunch, Bewitched and Bret Maverick. I just don’t remember anything particularly
outstanding about her work on those shows.
Here’s her Brady gig:

Anyway, we join Howard and his new girlfriend on the front
porch at her house…where the evening’s goodbye is going to be a little awkward
because Howard is not enough of an animal to throw her to the porch and ravish
her like a Mongol horde.

HOWARD: Well…it’s been a nice evening…

CAROL: Uh-huh!

HOWARD (after a pause): Lovely
night… (Carol nods) The…uh…moon’s in its first
quarter…

CAROL: Oh…really…

HOWARD (after an intake of breath):
Well, I enjoyed the movie…I…I…I hope you did, too…

HOWARD: Well, a gentleman doesn’t
kiss a lady on the first date…heh
heh…of course, on a second date it
might be another story…heh heh…

I wish this were
the second date.

CAROL: I don’t think there’ll be a second date, Howard…oh, you’re a nice guy…but frankly you’re just a
little too inhibited, and…well, stuffy!

HOWARD: Stuffy? Stuffy?

CAROL: I’m not trying to hurt you…

Oh, of course not.
“Stuffy” is a term of endearment that dates all the way back to…well,
never.

CAROL: …I just believe in being honest… (After a pause) Well, would it
really be better if I told you I had a wonderful evening and…then made up some
excuse the next time you called?

“Well…it would certainly be the procedure with which I’m
better acquainted…”

HOWARD: Well…I must say…you
certainly are frank…

CAROL: Good! Now you’re annoyed with me!

HOWARD: No…

CAROL: Yes, you are…now that was an
honest reaction…

“Let’s try another honest reaction…bite me!”

CAROL: Don’t spoil it…if there’s one thing I learned in my sensitivity
class…it’s that you have to be honest with yourself…and
everybody else…

HOWARD: You went to one of those sensitivity things?

CAROL: Yes! And it opened up a whole new life for me…but don’t you see, Howard…there’s a
tremendous freedom in being
honest…you wanted to kiss me…but you weren’t even honest enough to admit it to yourself…that’s why it wouldn’t work
out, Howard…you’re just too restrained and inhibited…

“Also, you’re boring.
Good God, are you boring! I don’t even remember what the movie was
about—I was asleep the entire time!”

CAROL: You’re living just half a life!

(She suddenly pulls Howard close to
her and kisses him)

HOWARD (stammering):
You…you…you…you mean y-y-you wanted to kiss me?

CAROL: Not really…I just wanted to
see how it felt to kiss a man with a moustache…

“You shouldn’t have had that chili dog at the movies,
Howard.” And so Carol calls it a night,
leaving a forlorn-looking Howard standing on her porch. There is then a scene dissolve to Howard
sitting at a table at the Mayberry diner, carefully tearing out a portion of
the Pulitzer Prize Award-winning Mayberry
Gazette. Poor-but-honest-dirt-farmer-turned-town-council-head
Sam Jones (Ken Berry) approaches him, with his cute-as-a-button girlfriend
Millie Swanson (Arlene Golonka) in tow.
At the risk of being defriended by Miss Golonka on Facebook (and also revealing
how superficial I can be at times) I have become somewhat disenchanted with
Millie in the third season…but only because she started letting her hair grow
long (I guess she was the only cast member allowed to do so, if you’re familiar
with the Buddy Foster story). I prefer
first season Millie, when she was sporting that adorable bob.

SAM: What are you tearing out of
the paper there, Howard?

HOWARD: Oh! Hi, Sam…Millie! (He rises from his chair)

MILLIE: Hi! Oh—don’t get up…

HOWARD: Sit down! Join me!

SAM: Oh…thanks…

MILLIE: Thank you! (They both sit down, and Millie picks up
Howard’s newspaper) Oh! You tore it out
of the personals!

Mayberry’s paper has a personals column?

HOWARD: Oh, it’s just a want ad…

MILLIE: Oh…let me see… (She
examines the scrap of paper) Are you going to take ballet lessons, Howard?

“No need to, Mill…Mother saw to that when I entered grade
school…” At this point in the
conversation, Sam addresses one of the diner’s wait staff as “Mike”...which might
be a foreshadowing of the eventual career path his own son—aka Mike the Idiot
Boy (Buddy Foster)—will take. (Mike does
not appear in this episode, and for that may we truly be thankful…Amen.)

SAM (to Mike the waiter): Millie
and I are just going to have coffee…thanks…

HOWARD: It’s the other side… (He flips the scrap paper
for Millie)

MILLIE: Sensitivity training…

It might be a little hard to read the above screen
capture—but the bottom of the ad reads: “Call Mount Pilot 8057.” (If it ain’t happenin’ in the Pilot…it ain’t
happenin’, baby.)

SAM: Sensitivity training…you, Howard?

“Me Howard…you Sam…her gorgeous…”

HOWARD: Why not? What’s wrong with that?

SAM: W-W-Well, isn’t that one of
those things where everybody sits around and…pours out their hang-ups?

HOWARD: Well, that’s a rather crude way of putting it, Sam…

MILLIE: Oh, I think it’s exciting, Howard…

SAM: Well…yeah…but that’s for
people who have hang-ups…I-I always
figured you to be one of the best adjusted guys I know, Howard…

“Apart from that Oedipus complex, that is…”

HOWARD: Well…how do any of us know how adjusted we are? I mean, even you—how do you know how well-adjusted you are?

MILLIE: Yeah! How about that?

“If I was maladjusted, I’d be funnier on this show. Cogito ergo sum.”

SAM: Wait a minute…I don’t have any hang-ups…I know where I’ve
been…and I know where I’m going…

“I’m going to take the Little Farmer out for a walk in his
fields…back in a sec…”

HOWARD: Oh…Mr. America, huh…

(Millie grins and nods)

SAM: No, I didn’t say that…

HOWARD: Look, Sam…a man should try
to broaden his horizons…you know,
we’re not living in the Dark Ages…a man should open his eyes to new ideas…try to improve himself…the
best way to do that is by…well, by being completely honest with yourself…that’s what sensitivity training is all
about…now what’s so wrong with that?

MILLIE: I think it’s groovy,
Howard…

I’m sorry…did I just walk into an episode of Room
222 by mistake? “I’m gonna give
it a whirl,” declares Mistah Sprague…and though Sam is fairly certain that he
knows where he’s been and knows where he’s going, he wishes his pal good luck
by raising his coffee cup in tribute. So
let’s meet the people who have speaking parts in Howard’s sensitivity session…

This gentleman is identified in the closing credits as
“Leader”—but he does have an actual name in the episode…it’s “Oscar.” (Oscar, Oscar, Oscar…) He’s played by Fred Sadoff, who’s probably
better known for extensive stage work (he was a one-time protégé of Michael
Redgrave) though he has appeared in such films as Viva Zapata, The Quiet
American, Papillion, Cinderella Liberty and most famously, The Poseidon Adventure (as
Linarcos). He also did a lot of guest
roles in TV shows like The Rockford Files, Barnaby
Jones and Barney Miller; Me-TV viewers might recognize him for his semi-regular
role as Dr. Murchison on The Streets of San Francisco. He also made the rounds on several soap
operas—Ryan’s Hope, All My Children, and
Days of Our Lives—before his death from AIDS in 1994.

In the closing credits, this actor is identified as “Guy
with Headband”—but “Oscar” calls him “Jerry” at one point, so that’s good
enough for me. He’s also billed as Roy
Applegate, but he’s probably better known as Royce D. Applegate…with an
extensive career in films and television before his tragic death in a house
fire on New Year’s Day in 2003. He had a
regular role on TV’s Seaquest: DSV as Chief Crocker, but
because I never watched that show I remember him more as Reverend Brocklehurst
in Twin Peaks since I’m kind of twisted that
way. He also appeared in such movies as Fuzz, Harper Valley P.T.A., Alligator,
Splash, The Rookie and Seabiscuit…but
again, owing to the nature of my warped mind, I vividly remember him as one of
two security guards assigned to a toxic waste dump (his character pulls a tooth
out of his head) in 1985’s Armed and Dangerous,
which starred John Candy, Eugene Levy and my bête noire Meg Ryan.

And of course, there’s no mistaking this gentleman—it’s Paul
Simon! Okay, I made a little joke there
(very little)—it’s actually actor Frank Corsentino, another character thesp who’s
no longer with us (he passed on in 2007).
Corsentino’s film resume includes flicks like cult favorite Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Up Your Alley and Moonchild, and he made the rounds on such TV favorites as The
Odd Couple, Gunsmoke, Vega$ and Star Trek: The Next Generation. His character goes unnamed; he’s billed as
“Guy in Pancho” (the IMDb corrects the spelling) which would seem to suggest
that he’s doing something with The Cisco Kid’s sidekick that’s really none of
my business. (The way he’s wearing that
pancho—I mistook him for a much shorter man when I first watched this episode.) We’ll call him “Poncho” for clarity’s sake.

This attractive woman is billed as “Sexy Girl”—probably
because she asks Howard at one point in the episode, Rod Stewart-like, “Do you
think I’m sexy?” She’s played by actress
Susan Alcott, who now goes by Susan Alcott Jardine and is an artist, as well as
the author of such books as The Channel:
Stories from L.A.. (This website explains what she’s been up to
since then—you will notice there’s no mention of the R.F.D. episode.) Her credits include an unbilled appearance in
1966’s The Oscar and several
episodes of TV’s MedicalCenter.

Finally, a character billed as “Plain Jane”…though it’s kind
of obvious it’s the writers’ euphemism for “Lesbian” (you’ll find out why in a
minute). Played by actress Lavina
Dawson, whose TV credits include The Doris Day Show (so we’ll
probably see her again soon…hint, hint) and The Rockford Files—she
also co-wrote the 1986 TV-movie A Time to
Triumph (according to the always reliable IMDb). Dawson,
for those of you looking for an excuse to get me in trouble, is actually on Facebook (she’s Lavina Dawson Caparella now).

We’ve introduced our players…so now let’s sit down and rap
with these kids and find out where their heads are at.

OSCAR: …after all…if we’re not
honest with ourselves and each other…how are we ever going to get rid of our inhibitions?

JERRY: Aw…look, Oscar man…I got rid
of my hang-ups a long time ago…man,
I’m looking for some direction,
man—you know? I mean, where am I
going? Just where am I going?

I’d like to be able to tell you that Howard’s removal of his
shoes results in the breakout of an orgy, making this the best R.F.D.
episode ever…but as I have said so often in the past: we simply aren’t that
lucky.

HOWARD: All right…but I think…I…I
think I ought to warn you…that…well, I’ve got a hole in my sock…

Dun dun DUN!!!

HOWARD: Well, you see…the laundry
was late and this is the only pair that matched
my suit…

Every episode. One
laugh-out-loud moment.

OSCAR: Howard…don’t you understand? We
don’t care! This is being honest,
instead of hiding things…

HOWARD: Oh…oh, I get it! You mean we are…what we are!

JERRY: That’s it, man! Now you got it!

Popeye’s been saying that for years, man.

PONCHO: Yeah! We are
what we are…

That’s what we are.
We all want a love bizarre.

PONCHO: …beautiful, man, beautiful…

PLAIN JANE: And I think you have a lovely tone…

HOWARD: Really? Well…thank you! Heh…I guess this is what we call “lettin’ it
all hang out,” huh?

Right on. Howard
laughs some more, and then taking off his other shoe, says “Get with it!” In the next scene, it’s apparent that that
Howard loves Alice B. Toklas (and so does Gertrude Stein) because he’s truckin’
down Mayberry’s Main Street
wearing sandals and shades. It’s a shame
he gave this outfit to Goober…

…because that would have made him all kinds of hippie-hip. Struttin’ his stuff downtown, he passes by
several Mayberryians (most of whom look at him with a “What the…front yard?”
expression on their faces) before reaching the humble establishment of fix-it
savant Emmett Clark (Paul Hartman), who is sitting down perusing the paper as
the town’s village idiot, Goober Pyle (George Lindsey) joins him in an adjacent
chair. (I guess everybody’s good as far
as gas goes in that town.)

HOWARD (walking past): Mornin’,
fellas! Beautiful day!

GOOBER: Howard? Are you on vacation?

HOWARD: No! I’m just on my way to the office!

GOOBER: You goin’ to work dressed
like that?

Physician…heal thyself.

HOWARD: Why not?

(Millie joins the group)

MILLIE: Hi, guys!

HOWARD: Oh! Hey, Mill!

MILLIE: Oh! Hi, Howard!
(She can’t help but notice his sandals) How was your sensitivity class?

Howard does an amusing bit of business where he puts his arm
around Millie as they take off down the street…and she sort of looks back in
surprise. Naturally, the sight of Howard
macking on Sam’s girlfriend is enough to fire the tiniest synapses in the minds
of Goober and Emmett. “They’s somethin’
the matter with Howard,” observes Goober.

“Yeah…that ain’t the Howard I know,” Emmett replies…and so
the two of them decide to investigate, which is how everyone winds up in the
usual meeting place of the city council office.

HOWARD: The best thing that ever happened to me!

Damn it! They did have an orgy, and I’ll bet those
numbnuts edited it out for syndication.
(Razzle frazzle fricken fracken…)

HOWARD: I mean, everything that I’ve been most afraid of
people finding out about myself was laid right out there…and nobody seemed to care!
Heh…I was hung up on absolutely nothing…

SAM: Well…that…sounds like some
evening…

HOWARD: Hmm…you bet it was! It’s like starting all over again—I feel like
a free man!

I am going to refrain from the obvious joke here. You may thank me later.

MILLIE: It sounds exciting, Howard…

GOOBER: It sounds like a wild party to me…

EMMETT: Goob…he told you it was a sensitivity training class…

HOWARD: What do you think of my big
toe, Sam?

SAM: Your what?

HOWARD: My big toe! What do you think of it? The class thought it was beautiful…

Well, since the brownies were passed around a few times…

SAM (looking at Howard’s toe):
Wuh…to tell you the truth, Howard…it never really…hit me one way or another…

HOWARD: Well, I mean…the toe itself isn’t important…it’s
symbolic…see, I had to take my shoes off and I had this big hole in my sock and
it exposed my toe…nobody cared! I mean, they just didn’t give a darn!

GOOBER (as only an idiot can
laugh): Give a darn…that’s a good one!
You know, with the hole in the sock…

HOWARD: Goober, please…

Howard…you were the one who argued he should be an inside
pet.

MILLIE: You seem like a different
man, Howard…

HOWARD: Well, I hope I am…it’s a
whole new outlook for me, and it’s just great!

I don’t want to cause anybody any undue alarm…but Howard’s
kind of acting like a person who’s just joined a cult. He even mentions that he “could just reach
out and hug the whole world”—which provides an amusing moment in which Emmett
and Goober sort of jump back to avoid Howard’s world embrace. But Howard’s on such a feel-good kick that
naturally he wants his friends to share…after all, those flowers at the airport
won’t sell themselves, you know.

HOWARD: Oh, there’s no reason why
you all couldn’t feel the same! It’s
just a matter of changing your attitude toward life!

“…and simply by pledging your allegiance to the Church
of Religious Consciousness…help me unpack
these carnations, would you?”

SAM: Well…yeah…maybe that’s true,
Howard…but I’ll tell you the truth…I can’t picture myself getting involved in
one of those groups…

GOOBER: Well, me neither…

HOWARD: Hey, wait a minute…why not?

EMMETT: Why not what?

HOWARD: Why not have our own group? You know, I’ve been through the whole
session, and I could act as kind of a leader…

“You could call me ‘Dear Leader’…”

HOWARD: …you know, I think I
understand it…

SAM: Aw, Howard…

HOWARD: Yeah! We could have our own sensitivity class right
here in Mayberry!

GOOBER: Well, not while I’m the deputy sheriff…

If you’ve ever wondered why troublemakers like me give the
South such a hard time…there’s your answer.

Oh, if only everyone else were in agreement. Interestingly, Millie seems to be the only
open-minded member of the group—she urges the others to take Howard up on
getting in touch with their inner hippie.
But Sam is definitely unconvinced, and Goober threatens Howard: “If you
come around huggin’ on me, I’ll poke you right in the nose!” I guess now is as good a time as any for a
General Foods break…

…and when we come back, we find Goober at Emmett’s (Abandon
All Hope of) Repair Shop…where he notices a single rose inside a coffee cup on
the counter.

GOOBER (sing-songy): Where’d you
get the rose?

EMMETT: What do you mean by that?

GOOBER: Nothin’! I just asked where you got it…

EMMETT: Oh…somebody gave it to me…

GOOBER (grinning): Secret admirer?

EMMETT: No he ain’t!

GOOBER: He?

Well…this episode sure got interesting in a hurry…

EMMETT: Howard gave it to me…

GOOBER: Oh, him…

Good for a chuckle, only because Goober doesn’t register any
kind of shock at this revelation…and also because you people thought I was
joking about that cult thing, didn’t you?

GOOBER: Is he still buggin’ you with that sensitivity stuff?

EMMETT: Yeah…talk about bein’ hung up…

GOOBER: Yeah! Where does he get off sayin’ we ain’t happy?

EMMETT: Oh, you know Howard…

GOOBER: Ain’t I always been a happy
guy?

Deliriously happy
in your cocoon of idiocy, your Goobness.

EMMETT: Yeah! Sure you have!

GOOBER (after a pause): Gotta
say…it’s helped him, though…

EMMETT: Yeah… (He holds up the
flower) Any guy who’d hand you a rose…sure ain’t stuffy…I’ll go if you go…

GOOBER (quietly): Okay…

Well, now that we have the feeble-minded on board, it’s time
to go to work on the smartest person on the sitcom. To accomplish this, we will need someone of
the female persuasion.

MILLIE (bursting into the council
office): Sam! Sam, guess what! Goober
and Emmett are going to Howard’s sensitivity class…

“Well, that’s not surprising…they’re morons!”

SAM: No…really?

MILLIE: Mm-hmm! And I said I’d go, too!

SAM: You… (Sighing) Well…have fun!

MILLIE: Oh, come on, Sam…come with
me…

SAM: Oh, no…no…you’re not gonna get
me to go to one of those things…

MILLIE: Oh, but Howard said it will
make us much happier…

SAM: Millie, I’m already
happy! I’m happy!

MILLIE: Well…well, at least it’ll
give us something different to do one evening instead of going…well, going to
the movies…or Morelli’s…or sitting on the porch listening to you play the guitar…

SAM: Oh…now you don’t like the way
I play guitar?

“Learn a f**king new song, ferchrissake…if I hear Carolina Moon one more time I’m going to
show you what one looks like!”

After arguing that he’s a perfectly happy individual despite
being saddled with a doltish son, Sam tries a new tack. “This might have worked fine for Howard—but I
just don’t see the point in the rest of us going.”

“Well, does there always have to be a point about everything?” Millie returns. “Why can’t we just do something in this town
just once without analyzing it to death?”
(Well…it would certainly free up Mondays for me, that’s for certain.)

So Sam gives in. (Not
the first time, I’m sure.) We find
Howard throwing pillows willy and nilly around his bachelor pad in preparation
for his guests. The door bell rings, and
as is the usual wont in sitcoms everyone invited has been circling the block to
arrive at the same time. “I think you’re
going to find it a very enlightening experience,” crows Howard
optimistically.

“I’ll tell ya,” whispers Goober to Emmett, “I’ll tell ya one
thing—I ain’t takin’ off my clothes.”
(That sound you hear is an audible sigh of relief from the cast of Grey’s
Anatomy, by the way.)

Howard is asked what they should do, and he suggests that
everyone have a seat on the floor, taking off their shoes in the process. Sam starts to grumble, not seeing what this
is going to accomplish but Millie scolds him with a
“there’ll-be-no-roll-in-the-haymow” tone in her voice. The five of them then sit facing one another,
drinking in the awkward silence.

MILLIE: Well…here we are! (She
giggles)

GOOBER: Yeah…

EMMETT: Uh…how long is it supposed
to be before we feel happy?

HOWARD: Well…it takes a little time, Emmett…we have to relax first…get
to know each other…

EMMETT: Well, Howard—I’ve known you
for twenty-four years…

HOWARD: Ah, but you haven’t really known me…that’s one of the
reasons why we’re here…

Dear God, please do not let him be talking about the
Biblical sense. And twenty-four
years? Please. Emmett wasn’t even seen in Mayberry until the
final season of The Andy Griffith Show.

HOWARD: See, the idea of it is
this…whether we know it or not, each of us has certain things that he’s…well…sensitive about…

EMMETT: I hear they’re rippin’ out
the streetcar lines over in Mt.Airy…

SAM: Uh…yeah…yeah…I read about
that…

EMMETT: That’ll make it tough to
get around…

MILLIE: Yeah…I guess so…

GOOBER: I wouldn’t mind pickin’ up
a streetcar from a mountain cabin…

Well, since this isn’t going as swimmingly as Howard had
hoped…he suggests that the four of them try out some techniques that he
observed in the class he took…

…I have a sneaking suspicion Sam and Millie have already
explored this terrain—the funny bit comes when Goober and Emmett treat each
other to a facial rub.

“Well, at least he coulda shaved,” complains Goober.
“Howard…what are we supposed to be doing?” asks Sam in an irritated
manner.

HOWARD: Well, I’m…trying to get you
to relax…and open up… (Sam sighs
disgustedly) Listen, everybody…if you can’t talk about yourselves…maybe you can talk about each other, huh? Millie…Millie, just to get us started…why
don’t you tell us, for example, what do you think of…uh…Emmett?

MILLIE: Uh…well…I-I think he’s a
good businessman…and…uh…well, he certainly is a good fix-it man…

I just hope Chris Vosburg wasn’t sitting on a barstool when
he read that.

EMMETT: Thanks, Millie! Did I tell ya I like that outfit you have on?

MILLIE: Oh! Thank you!
I’m…uh…glad somebody noticed
it…

SAM (realizing he’s not the
“somebody”): Oh…now what’s that
supposed to mean?

“Martha is really my sister.” Oh, I’m even ashamed at myself for even going
there…no, the real revelation isn’t going to be all that earth shattering
because, as Mr. Clark himself has observed, “we got eyes, ain’t we?”

EMMETT: I know…I always try to make
everybody think that I’m a genius…runnin’ the fix-it business, but…let’s face
it…I ain’t no genius…

“This just in…grass is cool beneath bare feet during
summer…”

GOOBER: Oh, yeah you are…a genius
at ruinin’ things…and what’s more,
you ain’t supposed to interrupt! (Turning solemnly back to the others)
Sometimes I don’t even make my bed…

EMMETT: Goober, will you forget that junk! I’m tryin’ to bare my soul!

GOOBER (getting in his face):
Whaddya mean, junk?

HOWARD: Fellas…fellas…please…we’re not here to argue…Sam…Millie…don’t you two have
something you’d like to discuss?

(Sam shakes his head in the
negative)

MILLIE: Well, why don’t we,
Sam? I mean, if we’re to have a meaningful relationship we have to be
honest with one another…

“Because up until now, this relationship has only really
been about hot monkey sex.”

SAM (exasperated): Millie…I have no complaints about you…I like the way
you are…I think you’re great, okay?

MILLIE: Don’t tell me you think I’m
perfect…

SAM: Well, no…of course not! Nobody’s
perfect…

MILLIE: Oh—so there is something you don’t like!

“You trapped me into that,” counters Sam, proving he’s every
bit as stupid as his friends. This is
pretty much where the episode goes south—it winds up in a series of contrived
squabbles and arguments, although I did enjoy the part where Emmett starts to
pontificate: “Sam…maybe I’m just a big blowhard…”

Not really paying attention to what Emmett is saying, Sam
responds: “Okay…I agree!” and then goes back to quarreling with Millie. (Sam: “What do you want me to do, make out a
list of the things I don’t like about you?”
Millie: “Oh! Now there’s a list!”) None
of the disagreements come off believable for a minute, and even doing a bird’s
eye view of the skirmish a la Hitchcock…

…ends in complete boredom.
Everybody leaves Howard’s pissed at one another, leaving our
well-intentioned touchy-feely guru all by his lonesome.

There’s the understatement of the season. Sam and Howard then decide that if the truth
is going to hurt someone, “maybe it’s good to lie a little”—the foundation for
all strong, healthy relationships. And
Sam’s parting words to his friend—“It’s good to have you back,
Howard”—reinforces my theory that Howard managed to escape from that cult just
before he started writing poetry for The
Washington Times.

Coda time!

We find Emmett in his usual position—resting on his brains,
and breaking an appliance someone brought in—with Sam seated beside him,
perusing the Hooterville
World-Guardian.

SAM: You and Goob speakin’ to each
other yet?

EMMETT: Oh, sure…how can you stay
mad at a nut like that?

Get it? Nut? Goober?
Peanut? Bueller?

EMMETT: Don’t tell him I said that…

SAM: No…no… (He laughs with Emmett)

EMMETT: I don’t know…I just can’t
carry a grudge for very long...

The two men are then approached by Millie, who offers her
mea culpas to Sam, and everybody ends up friends again. Millie does ask Sam if she really talks too
much, and in asking the question…yeah, you guessed it—she starts to prattle on
and on and on. Because she’s a girl,
silly, and that’s what girls do. (After
finishing this episode, writers Dick Bensfield and Perry Grant then went down
to the Brontoburger stand for lunch.)

Oh, man—am I glad that’s over. I’m really starting to worry that I’m about
to hit the wall, and I’ll wind up setting aside this thing for another year or
so. But I’m determined to stick it out,
so join me here next week for the hilarious Mayberry Mondays antics
of “Goober’s New Gas Station.”

7 comments:

“Well…it would certainly be the procedure with which I’m better acquainted…”

I can actually hear Howard saying that!

Honestly, I like Millie's hair longer. It's the teased look that bothers me. It made everyone look like they were wearing a wig even if they weren't.

Okay, and now it's time for a confession: The only MRFD episode I ever remembered seeing a part of before Mayberry Mondays, and I couldn't even tell you when it was. (Probably on TV Land, but I was a huge fan of sangria back then, so... well. Ahem.) But that screencap of Howard in the Nehru jacket seals the deal: It was THIS episode that I saw. Oh, my head.

I can't get my sister to make the stuff anymore. The last time she whipped up a beautiful batch of sangria, she woke up the next morning with a head as big as her head. (I felt no ill effects, but then again I'm of a considerably larger size than she.)

Hey, I'm a large gal myself and just two glasses of wine do me in nowadays. Ah, my misspent youth, so far behind me now.

I'm going to try to get a pic of myself in Vegas so you finally have one of me. If that doesn't work then I'll just go find an old picture and you'll have to make do. What is WITH me and pictures, anyway?

And though I wasn't on a barstool when I read Millie's praise of Emmett's fixit mojo, I was in a desk chair as it happens, and sure enough fell right the hell off laughing. Maybe he did manage to fix Millie's typewriter after all.

Also, Emmett makes reference to new streetcars in Mt Airy, which caught me by surprise. I don't know all the eps of TAGS and MRFD, but this is the first time I've heard the actual real-life birthplace of Andy Griffith (thought to be a model of sorts for the fictional Mayberry) referenced in either show. Is it just me?

Also, Emmett makes reference to new streetcars in Mt Airy, which caught me by surprise. I don't know all the eps of TAGS and MRFD, but this is the first time I've heard the actual real-life birthplace of Andy Griffith (thought to be a model of sorts for the fictional Mayberry) referenced in either show. Is it just me?

I also did a small double-take when I heard that, only because it's been my experience that they went to great lengths to disguise a lot of the real town names--for example, the "Mount Pilot" on the show refers to "Pilot Mountain" in real life, etc. But it's definitely the first time I've heard of the Airy reference.