A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Monday, April 04, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 04-04-05 ("I've had enough. rant.")

The level of frustration in DUmmieland knows no bounds as you can see in this THREAD titled, “I've had enough. rant.” Reading this is like hearing the pathetic primal scream of an impotent animal lashing out at a world NOT of its making. However, do not mistake this for a tragedy. Comedy is more like it. The laughs are many so sit back and read the rants in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with analyst notepad in hand, is in the [brackets]:

I have had enough of seeing Bush. I have had enough of stupidity being glorified. I have had enough of unnecessary wars. I have had enough of the looming darkness over the country and the constant death watches while our soldiers' deaths and injuries get ignored completely. I have had enough of holier than thou attitudes of the Republicans and the Religious Right. I have had enough of faux patriotism. Having my side called traitors and sinners. I am tired of the bad economy and I am tired of having to prove myself to get a job. My background should speak for itself. I want to beat these people in the worst way. I want to wipe those smug expressions off of their faces once and for all. I want it so bad I can taste it. My anger is a tide that will not ebb.

[“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” I laughed with a smug expression on my face.]

I can't agree more and it frustrates me because I feel so helpless. Let me add, I am extremely tired of the media playing on the pope There is only so much one can say, only so much one can repeat.

[Not only are you helpless but hopeless as well. Oh, and you prefer that the media cover “election fraud” in Ohio?

You are not alone......

[True. There are many DUmmies to keep him company in the mental ward.]

The thing that bothers me the most though, is that is exactly what they wanted me to do. Give up.

[Why don’t you Give Up some more of your money to Bev Harris. She is just $10 away from discovering election fraud.]

I'm also tired of being told to leave if I disagree. That isn't how things are supposed to be. We're supposed to work together instead of them telling me to move to France or Canada. F*ck them!

[Why don’t you move to North Korea?]

I will NEVER surrender. But....... I may back off to recharge my batteries for a while.

[The electrodes are ready. Now relax while we attach them to your forehead so we can recharge your batteries via electro-shock therapy.]

There are lots of different ways to resist. Yes, it can be poisoning. But, you're going to be all right, because you truly oppose this crap -- you aren't merely substituting your dogma for theirs, which, I would suggest, indicates moral vacuity. Part of the "Surrender Dorothy" syndrome is that they are trying to make you feel that you are mentally inferior, or somehow defective, for disagreeing with them. Some of us are reminded by this of how Communist China and the Soviet Union regarded dissent as mental illness, which was to be treated in re-education camps. I have compared it to how women who are being battered feel -- their abusers are able to keep them in control by telling them no one will believe them and that they are crazy, etc. They have to keep up constant intense emotional chaos in the victim, to stop them from THINKING, because thought and analysis and acknowledgement of reality puts an end to such personal horrors. You no doubt know of the concept of mental pathology. Well, my dear, imagine when whole societies sink into madness. Social Pathology. The fact that you have gotten through this shit so far -- and yes, I KNOW how wrenching it can be -- shows you are innately strong and that you WILL survive to see the rebirth of reason and freedom. I wish i could say that this is going to be over soon. Sadly, I feel it's going to get a lot worse beore it gets better. We all have to find ways to resist, or fight, if we can, in the meantime.

[Dr. Shrink’s prognosis is that you are suffering from Battered DUmmie Syndrome. The symptoms of BDS are a complete divorce from reality, Drama Queen antics, and an extreme persecution complex. Take two Lithiums and see the doctor in the morning.]

I have a sinking feeling you are right about it getting worse before it gets better. Your 'battered' analogy fits. The American people are being battered left and right. Everyday--EVERYDAY--it's something else, more executive rule changes to get around Congress, another bogus report that conveniently ignores the VPs involvment of the lies that led to the war, undermining the court system, reports of torture and abuse... it just goes on and on and on and on! No wonder so many prefer to "go along to get along," but we all have our limits. There will come a day when the "mob wakes up."

[Good news. The Home for Battered DUmmies has just opened. There you will be protected from facing harsh reality. Seek protection from the cruel world by calling the Home for Battered DUmmies at: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

I remember a time when Time magazine had a cover proclaiming GOD is dead. What happened?

[God is still around but Time magazine is in its death throes.]

We are going through some very dark times. Hang in there!

[Hang in there. The Bolshevik Revolution may yet happen again in our own alternate reality.]

I never imagined I would ever live in a negatively transformational era; this I used to wonder "How did such a thing ever happen?" -- now, I think I know -- evil rises stealthfully, and people find themselves engulfed in events, unable to escape, like a tsunami.

[Something you learned at the Ho Chi Minh Day Care Center?]

Would like to slap em in the puss w/o a problem for what they are doin' to us...to our country!

[Or toss a bottle of salad dressing on them?]

I'm freakin fed up with all the shit!

[The new inscription on the gateway door to Dummieland.]

Even my activist family has been taken aback by my fire and passion in which I have found. I feel like the grip of evil is dragging my down and its a constant fight to keep my head above water. I just want to scream sometimes, but then I think... who will hear me? who would care? I start to feel more and more isolated as I see the people I called allies turn and fire at each other in their desperation. I feel powerless in a community where I fight to get people to act, but to no avail. They just smile and nod, apathetic and frustrated, with a shrug of the shoulders as if to say... what can I do? Its like running into a brick wall, falling down, getting back up again only to run again full tilt into the same wall. I draw attention to issues, and see only division and bitterness spread around like warm butter on bread. Put too many mice in a cage and they will eventually kill themselves off. Its a sad state of affairs we are in, and the light at the end of the tunner grows darker and farther away every day. But regardless of the insurmountable odds I may face, I cannot give up, will not give in. It is in my spirit to fight, and I will continue to fight as long as I have air in my lungs in which to speak out with.

[Open wide… Just a little more… Good! We slipped the leather strap in between your teeth. Oh, and please use that mop leaning on the wall to clean up all your rabid foam that soaks the floor.]

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About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
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