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It's not very much fun when your hemorrhoids become sentient.
They've taken to singing theme songs from Asian game shows.
The laugh track is the worst.
It makes my ears bleed and fills my soul with hatred.
Colon cancer would be a most fitting death.

Did you know that
SQRT(a ± b) = SQRT((a + u)/2) ± SQRT((a - u)/2)
if a > b > 0 and u = SQRT(a^2 - b^2)
???
I didn't know that and I've been doing this shit a long time.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Split my cock and Caitlyn.

Haiku #56449, by Exit road of another good captcha, but I like the previous one better May 11, 2017 12:15 am ET

There's a small chance I could have worms.
Saw one in the toilet, but it wasn't after I'd pooped.
It was about 2 inches long, just wiggling around in there.
So, I took some worm meds.
Now I'm going to see Alien Covenant.

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