Friday, April 9, 2010

Captain Planet: A Michael Bay Film

Here me out on this one: Michael Bay should direct a Captain Planet movie.

Yes, Transformers cannot be called a "good" film by any stretch of the imagination, but there's something about it that captures the spirit of giddy, sugar-addled, preteen boyhood. Things explode, things are really shiny, and things never get past kissing. It maintains the feel of all those cheesy early 90's cartoons we know and love. So why not let him take a crack at the Planeteers?

Imagine the exotic locals and various cultures we'd explore when introducing Kwame, Linka, Ma-Ti, and Gi. And if there's one thing Michael Bay excels at, it's showcasing cultural diversity... in a "lowest common denominator" kind of way. Stereotypes abound in Tranformers: American soldiers playfully jab at one another's heritage, the Hispanic characters are told not to "go all Ricky Ricardo on me," and the sequel has been accusedmultipletimes of being racist, thanks to the buck-toothed characters Mudflap and Skids.

Bay has zero shame, and that's exactly the kind of director you need to head an environmentally conscious film with a 200 million dollar budget. He'll make "going green" look so cool and glossy, everybody will want to help save the planet.