Friday, September 27, 2013

Carjacking Gone Right Day!

Today at a stoplight you’re going to be accosted by a man with a gun. He’ll tap his gun on your car window and tell you to get out.

“Wait,” you’ll say. “Maybe we’re heading in the same direction.”

You tell him where you’re headed and it turns out he is headed that way so you agree to carpool.

“But tomorrow,” he says when he gets out of the car. “If you’re not going my way, this car’s mine. Or else you die.”

You end up carpooling every day for the next six years, and he threatens your life every time you drop him off. But during the ride he’s quite pleasant and has lots of stories about his family and his time working on the back of a bread truck.

The only reason you’ll stop carpooling is because you’re going to get transferred to another office that’s not on his way, so he’ll point the gun at you and make you give him your car.

“It’s been really nice, these six years,” he’ll say, still pointing the gun at you as you stand in the street with your hands up.

“You take care of yourself,” you’ll say to your carjacker.

“You too,” he’ll say. Then he’ll drive away, tossing all of your stuff out of the car as he speeds off into the distance.