Saturday, May 24, 2014

last day of preschool

All week I had been avoiding the fact that Friday would be her last day of preschool- as if ignoring this would make the day not actually come. On Thursday, when I realized that I still hadn't picked up her teachers' gifts and cards, I knew it was time to suck it up and face reality.

She has been at this preschool since before she turned three and we fell in love with the classroom and with her teacher the moment we walked in there. I am horrible with endings and goodbyes, so this has been a little tough for me. That and the fact that I really wish I could keep her there forever- where it's small, safe, loving, comfortable, familiar. As I sat in the hallway outside of her classroom, it hit me hard that that would most likely be the last time I pick her up from there. It's hard to imagine that I won't be driving her here in the fall and it's hard to imagine her not being with me for the majority of each and every day.

She knows where the "big kid" school is and asks to drive by it often. She gets excited when she sees it and when we talk about it. She tells me that she really wants to go to this school and can't wait to make new friends. Although we do have a few different options, right now it looks like it will be public school. There are pro's and con's to all of our options, but for now we have to make the decision that works best for our family and for her. I believe she will soar no matter where she goes and many of the issues I am dealing with are from my own personal experience with public school. In many ways I think what I went through in school will help me be more aware, though. I will listen, really listen to her and what she says and what she doesn't say to me. I will hear her stories and the words she speaks and I will play attention to behaviors. Wherever she goes I do know that we can always change our minds if it ends up not being the best for her. We can always adjust as needed.

She was so upset that she broke her Eiffel tower earrings.

Watching her grow is so bittersweet, and as long as she loves and thrives wherever she is I will be just as excited right there with her. I will trust and let go and be strong and confident for her wherever she goes.