Don’t be mistaken, I am not some kind of anti-abortion activist or what not. I just hope this video put a different perceptive in your lives. (If you are offended by it, I am sorry. But then again this is my fucking blog and I can post any fucking shit, without having to care a heck about your feelings.)

The truth is, I had also considered abortion as an option too. It seems like a better future for me, in an unplanned pregnancy.

"I don’t have to worry about the illegitimacy of my unborn child. I don’t have to face the social stigma of a unwed mom. I don’t have the cope with the lack of emotional support. I don’t have to put up with the physical changes in my body. I don’t have to endure a grueling labor. I don’t have to take any chances for a nerve wrecking post-natal depression. I don’t have to be financially burdened. I don’t have to give up my dreams of having a perfect wedding…"

ALL the reasons seem so tangible right?

In the end… I don’t even have ONEGODDAMN GOOD REASONto justify "a death sentence" to it, without ever gonna feel guilty.

Without a doubt, it will never be easy to welcome it unexpectedly, with your arms wide open. However, almost all of the moms who had initially wanted to put a termination to their pregnancies were glad they didn’t.

If you think about it, everyone has a worth in their lives, no matter how small they might be. :))

There is this couple who had been together for the past 10 years of their lives(and I know them thru out their couple-hood). Recently I heard rumor news of them splitting up. I was really disappointed, however I don’t wanna influence anybody’s decisions.

10 years is not a short time, but it isn’t a lifetime too.

Aiyo… Why is it that things and people around me, are so melodramatic?!

Will simply leading a mediocre life free us from problems?? Hmm… I seriously doubt so….

I don’t need to see you guys together, I just wanna see you guys being happy.

Do whatever, you have my blessings. :))

PS: I heard someone is singing "I finally found THE LOVE OF THE LIFETIME…" but his next song probably will be "I am HERE WITHOUT YOU, baby… But you are still with me in my dreams…" (Sibei chiam ar… Haiz…)

I am extremely tired, ~_~ however when I tried to sleep, I just can’t seem to fall into a deep sleep, in fact I hadn’t been sleeping well for the past 3 nights already(orr bark kak liao).

Last night, I tossed & turned on my bed for THREE FUCKING HOURS!!Finally I gave up and wanted to pop some Melatonin pills(over-the-counter medicine used for my jet-lag) to get a better rest. As I was placing the pills in my mouth, the label caught my eyes. It says, "NOT FOR CONSUMPTION DURING PREGNANCY"Oh fuck! I spat out the pills instantly and went back to bed, totally lethargy!!!

I woke up feeling as though I am out in the sea – DAMN NAUSEA!!Luckily I don’t have to work today. I finished the entire packet of Skittles within a few minutes, it did make me feel better however I get this weird sensation on my tongue after that(a bit numb yet tingling) and it just don’t go away. EeeeKkkk, I hate it lor!! *o*

I felt so much better in the afternoon, so I thought I should try to change my lizard bait, coz the old one had this stupid lizard’s carcass mummified in it. It’s like the perfect warning for other lizards, they see already sure wouldn’t fall into the same death trap like this stupid bugger one what! I was prepared that I would puke when I get up close to the dead lizard. Surprisingly, I did quite fine. Guess the Skittles I ate earlier helps. ;-P

Lotsa people are wondering if we(Mr Ex-Schoolmate & I) will be getting hitched soon, as there is a baby on our way. Seriously, I dunno. As long as we love our baby, I don’t see a difference if we are married or not. The last thing I want, is for him or anyone else to think that a wedding is more important than our baby. I don’t want to think so much or let stuff like that bothers me & affects me emotionally, because what is important right now, is that I MUSTBEHAPPY!! so I can nurture a healthy and cheerful baby. Correct or not?!

This coming X’mas, I will be expecting a baby! (hopefully one that is cuter than this one on the right ;p)

Hold it !!!!

Don’t congratulate me, becoz it doesn’t seem very appropriate, for it’s not like what you would have imagined. There is nobody jumping around for joy or hugging me with tears in the eyes. Mine is an unplanned pregnancy,(perhaps even unwanted to begin with) but I had made a critical and difficult decision to keep my baby.

The journey ahead is looking predictably rigorous for me; soon I would be a single & unwed mom when my child is born.: ((I would be lying if I tell you that I am fully prepared for this. But then, I believe no amount of preparation is truly sufficient when it comes to motherhood.

And I would be lying too, if I said that I am brave enough to face these all by myself. But I will do everything I possibly can; coz it is my maternal duty to protect, care and love my baby, even though now it is only an embyro(it’s about 4 weeks old).

From today onwards, I am not going to cry in my sleep anymore. I am not going to look for love and acceptance. I will never ever negotiate my baby’s life.

I am going to be strong,STRONGER THAN EVER, for I gotta be a super-mummy in the future!

If you can hear me, my baby,"All I wish for right now, is for you to be healthy. I can’t promise that you will get the best, but you can be sure that I will do my very best to love you."

After my previous entries, I started getting words of encouragement or comforts thru MSN, messages in the chat box, emails, etc.

Hello Everybody!… relaxed…I am fine, or should I say I would be fine, thank you, dearies! See I can cam-whore, meaning I am ok.

Hey, do you know something… I am able to see into your past, do you believe? In fact, I know about everybody’s past.

Let’s try… You will nod your head if I am correct about what I say.

All of you reading this now…. I am picking up a vibe…. I am sensing that….

.

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…. all of you here shared something similar…

.

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… you had been thru a phrase of your lives, when you experience agony and heartache.

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You can’t believe it, but 99.99% OF YOU ACTUALLY NODDED YOUR HEAD TO THAT!!

In the eye of MISERY, everybody is the same,nobody will be spared.But you can make the different….

If you pick yourself up from that usual corner and continue to move on…

When I read into my own future, it says: "The road ahead is uncertain and fills with obstacles, but I will keep on moving as long as I know there will always be YOU people who look out for me as I recuperate."