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Isn’t it more interesting to be unwritten and not know which direction your life is going in? Predictability; that is where we grow bored and solemn. Still, here I am staring at one of the many tabs on my browser and the one I should be focusing on is blank. Sheer white, blinding and making the pain in the base of my neck worse. It’s no better than the nightmares that indeed are reality played out; my subconscious calling me out on my denial.

Perhaps denial is the wrong word. Maybe, it is just hope that it’s not too late to change things. When does one draw the line though? Do we only say we believe it’s never too late in the beautiful aspects of peace and love when we so desperately cling to hold on? When does one run out of chances? How do we tell ourselves the pain of change will be better than the pain of falling deeper into our rut?

When do we live for today and not for what the past has taken away?

Reaching…for that something in the distance but will my fingers ever grasp it? Perhaps, maybe, or not at all, but I still love the hope that shines from these lyrics because no matter how far we fall into our rut, the rest is still unwritten.

This one has always been a favorite and this rendition’s haunting beauty lingers at the tip of my tongue and swims in the silence between my thoughts. I keep pondering one of my characters I write often with my bestie/wifey and I can’t get a scene out of my head. I wish I could film it instead of writing it out in story though because the imagery from her powers of illusion and flashbacks from her past make for a powerful yet dark vision. Words would not be needed. Perhaps I can try…But I can’t post it until I do so in our story. To Be continued…

*dusts off blog and decorates it with pretty sparkly (but NOT glittery) things*

Decorations; check…

“Look, these are pretty!”

Uh… Those are Christmas decorations, Amber.

“What’s Christmas?”

It’s… kinda like Creation Day.

“Ah. Okay… So not a birthday thing… Okay… How ’bout some fireworks then?” *grin*

NO. No, no… We’re good. Keeping it simple. ^^”

“I vote bouncy castle.”

Okay, we can have a bouncy castle, Lukey.

*sets down table of treats*

These be penguin cookies… Sensing a theme yet? 😛

*sets down cake*

Theme!

*builds the bouncy castle and tosses all the plushies inside to bounce*

No tiny knives on the bouncy castle! Behave guys. >.>

Okay, all set.

“Why are we having a party anyway?”

It’s Sarah’s birthday, Lukey.

“Noo… Saturday was her birthday. We wished her happy birthday, remember? Why won’t people celebrate birthdays on the actual birth day?” =_=

Well, I was going to make her a birthday post. It was supposed to be a surprise, but that got a little ruined due to technical problems… So I decided to wait a few days. Besides I was working on a gift… type thing… >.>

“Ah, gift type things! Do you need one of these?”

No, Luckas, I’m good. I do have a gift.

“Where is it?”

It’s… almost ready. >.>

“You had five days to do this… How is it not ready? Really, just take the hug coupon…”

It’s done, it’s just not here yet. YouTube is giving me a hard time… Just give it a minute. >.>

See… I got it!

“Heeey… Why am I not in the video? We both know I’m her favorite.” >.>

I don’t know about that, Lukey…

“I’m everyone’s favorite.”

Okay, maybe so… I didn’t pick Jakey (just) because he’s the favorite. I picked Jakey because his and Ess’ flashbacks were the first things we wrote together, soooo… They have you know an extra sentimental value. Don’t take it so personally, eh?

“It’s almost ten minutes long.”

Are you mad that Jakey’s is bigger than yours? 😛

“I’ll be in the bouncy castle.” =_=

Ehem, okay. So… Lukey was a little bit jealous of my gift choice and is now sulking in the bouncy castle, but anyway:

Wifey, happy birthday! I made you this video and you know well enough that it took some time and effort on my part, but I said I’d find you something far more adorable than a penguin cake. I found that image of the oak with the fire on the background and I immediately thought some Jakey-Ess cuteness was the way to go. I hope you liked it and pardon….

*hears explosions in the background*

…The mess. I thought it’d be okay to let the minions out of their cages. ^^”

Loves ya… And hopefully next year I’ll give you your gift in person. 😉

This has been viral around the net for some time now, but each time someone posts it on Facebook or it pops up somewhere random, I ALWAYS listen. We need more moments like these in this world. Through writing, music, or even silence, more people need to focus on the beauty of life and not drown in the negativity.

So, some time ago I wrote a scene for the RPShadows Of The Forgotten,calledSpring Storm. My good friend, Camila, re-blogged it a little while back and it reminded me of how I tried to put together sound effects and music to myself reading this aloud. Sadly, the cheap program I have made the sound…well less than perfect. It certainly has tons of room for improvement, but you get the point. I didn’t include the reading in this version because I couldn’t get the audios to not clash enough to my liking, so here is the music and sound effects. Camila was kind enough to take my writing and audio clip and put it into a visual youtube video for me. Thanks again wifey! ^.^

In regards to the scene, it is personally a favorite of mine for a couple reasons. One, I actually managed to get what I was daydreaming about in my head, out into paper. I am pretty proud of this scene because of that reason but also it shows some metaphorical beauty that one may get the basics from reading out of context, but not all of it. For those of you who are not familiar, Ess had found an unlikely friendship in a stalker; a stranger, that which is Luckas. The scenes giving some nice beginnings and background to their unexpected bond, can be found on this blog, referenced as ‘Ess and Luckas Meet Again: parts 1-5’. Anyways, I would like to think here, as Ess, she was experiencing a moment of peace that she wanted to share with Luckas. At this point in the story, it is fairly new, the realization and discovery that they share a psychic bond brought on when Luckas tried to erase her memories. This ‘bond’ lets them communicate in a way, unintentionally at times, so that in the past, Luckas had briefly experienced some troubling things Ess was living in a present moment. This scene is to share with him, those peaceful moments that are rare and far in between and I’d like to think also, to share a little piece of herself. It’s the only time I can remember, showing as her ‘adult self’, an innocence which she believes she has fully lost.

Something like this needs to be shared with as many people as possible. To all those out there who have suffered with depression at one time or another in their lives who have heard this same thing said to you but it fell on deaf ears, it was just not sinking in, or you were in denial because you were so much pain that it numbed you from the inside out; maybe this will reach you. It helps sometimes to hear it from someone who has hit rock bottom and come back, not just surviving but excelling in their own expectations. From all the messages I have seen, this one got to me the most; this one pulled on my heart strings.

To those of you who don’t understand depression and cast cruel judgement onto your fellow man; maybe this will open your eyes. That homeless person, humbled and begging for food on the corner is not worthless and they are not a loser; they are lost. Any one of us, in this world today, could end up there if caught without someone to back you or simply down on their luck. Who knows, if they are given a chance, you may one day become their biggest fan. They may be the next Corey Taylor or at the very least your new best friend. Don’t dismiss what you refuse to understand.

His poetry amuses me and speaks about the darkness within humanity; that battle within.