Letters I'll Never Send

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I trusted you to be safe and take care, but you’re just getting worse and becoming a huge @*($%^ instead…

I’m so sad. I don’t want you to destroy yourself. There are times when I feel so connected to you and so hopeful for our future… But you have to do all that stupid stuff that makes me angry.

Why do you let society throw you around? Do you ENJOY being so superficial??

And now you even have PHYSICAL scars. Foolish boy, getting surgery and acting different. YOU don’t even know who you are, and I can tell you’re embarrassed about the way you talk now, but you keep it up anyways.

I want you to be yourself. And you’re so ruined now. You’re becoming someone I didn’t think you would. Someone even I don’t know how to handle. I don’t mean I’m not gonna handle you. What I mean is, I am so hurt about you but I cannot handle it. And I’ve handled many kinds of things, but not near what you can do to me. You hurt me a lot because I care a lot.

I hate hearing about you because it just shows what a people-pleaser you are. You think you’re all grown but you are so childish and nasty. Looking a certain way doesn’t mean anything about your personality, and the fact that you rely on your looks only shows that you have no insides.

Its a long way off… It will be a long time before I can meet you. How much worse are you going to get till that time?

Do not disappoint me. I hope whatever I see in you right now is just a mistake. I hope that when I see you, you’re the same fluff I thought you were. Don’t disappoint me. Please, let this all be a falsehood. Let this all not be true. Let me be in the wrong for judging you, because I’d rather that instead of knowing its the truth. That’s how much it hurts.