Duno if I can do it again

Last year around september, I met back up with someone I missed very much, it had been 13 years, and I found her on myspace, so we got back together.
Aside from one time that I raised my voice on her which I apologized for, there was nothing that went wrong between us until it came to our last date.
When me and my friends got there for the double date we had planed, Jan was just looking out into space and when she has that look on her she usually is not in a social mood..she was not talking to me, but she was her friend..whispering right in front of me..then after we all got done eating, we went to circuit city where the girls parted from the guys, and them mins later she had her friend dump me for her, the later that night Jan sent me a message in myspace, and it was an apology more or less, no explanation as to why.

After months of looking over everything in my head, I have finally saw I did nothing wrong..its just NOW I don't think I have the strength in me to get to to a woman again..like that.
but being alone right now is really hurting me..I hate it..

I'm sorry she treated you badly.
Please try and move on from this and look to the future. I'm sure there are plenty of girls you could be happy with.
You need to love yourself before they can love you :hug:

i am sorry she treated you so bad, butplaese know not all women are like this, we do care and we do respect men, just a few seem to walk all over men, and that is unfair :hug: i hope you can move on smoothly and she doesnt effect your life any more and i hope you find that someone who loves you and cares for you the way you should be cared for :hug:

I'm sorry she treated you badly.
Please try and move on from this and look to the future. I'm sure there are plenty of girls you could be happy with.
You need to love yourself before they can love you :hug:

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I really am trying to move on, its just its very hard in my situation.
I am not able to go out and meet new ppl cause I can't drive due to my seizures..
as to loving myself, that's something I have never done..though at times i feel I am the only person that respects me..does that count?

i am sorry she treated you so bad, butplaese know not all women are like this, we do care and we do respect men, just a few seem to walk all over men, and that is unfair :hug: i hope you can move on smoothly and she doesnt effect your life any more and i hope you find that someone who loves you and cares for you the way you should be cared for :hug:

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you know I keep hearing that, yet I am always dumped for someone else like I am some sort of side dish..oh I have moved on from jana..the hard part is believing there is someone out there for me, I just feel like i am trash. and I duon't think i can trust someone to get close to me again.

Once the anger passes you will be able to get back in the game. You just need to be selective where you meet your next GF. I always met mine in bars, and after say a year of living with them everything would turn to shit. My therapist says I always picked the wrong kind of woman. I always went for the partiers. She says it was the excitement because these women were easy to pick up. Then I would grow up and start to take responsibility of having a strong relationship and the women I would pick weren't ready to grow. At least that is what my therapist would tell me. Yes she is a woman also. After my exfiance Started cheating on me I washed my hands of ever having a loving relationship. I blew my chances with one young lady who waited for me to move back to Florida after high school, then she waited for me until I got out of the military. We went on a couple of dates and I broke it off with her ( which wasn't fair) because I was into drugs and she wasn't. She didn't drink, do drugs, smoke, or run around. She was the perfect girl for me . Just because I was hooked on drugs I told her she was better off without me because at the time I wasn't anygood for her. So please take it slow and be a little more selective in the type of woman you are looking to grow with!!~Joseph~

Around where I live from what I see there really is not any good places to meet someone, all there is here is bars, department stores and churches...I hate bars not my kind of atmosphere..last time I was at one, every guy there looked at me like they wanted to kick my ass..not very comforting...so after I left the girl I was seeing at the time..who was a total liar..that was my last time in a place like that..then after that I got advice that the grocery store is a good place to meet someone..All I saw was married women or single mothers.
But in all honesty the difficult par of dating around here is, I live in a religious community and I am not nor have I ever been religious and most women have this requirement for you to have the same beliefs as she does..atleast around here.
So the only place I have to go to meet anyone is online and the bitch of that is everyone I have been interested in has been states away.
I actually met up with someone I met online and she wound up to be a pathological liar and a cheat, so I gave up in that department.

Then Jana came..I was SO hoping it would be her, but she could not be up front and honest with me, just from how she dumped me, it looks she was more concerned about looking like the bad guy, but she said she thought it would be easier on the both of us.

After all that its just hard for me to believe honesty hardly exists anymore and everyone is just out for themselves and what they can get out of me.

Coming up next week I have an appointment with my new counselor, and she wants to talk about well..THIS..I really hope it helps cause lately she has been on my mind a lot making me angry or depressed.
She told me the anger was a natural part of grief, and that's what mostly have been over taking me lately.
I just want it to go away, I am tired of remembering.
Personally I wish I could just have a case of amnesia and forget "everything"!
but unfortunately that's not going to happen.

you know I keep hearing that, yet I am always dumped for someone else like I am some sort of side dish..oh I have moved on from jana..the hard part is believing there is someone out there for me, I just feel like i am trash. and I duon't think i can trust someone to get close to me again.

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There are girls out there who wouldn't do that to you. You just havn't met them. Hopefully you will though, just have patience