finding my way home

This blog I mean. I just don’t feel like I have a lot to say. Some days are alright, some are horrible. Some days I go through the whole day without that sinking feeling, then other days (like yesterday) it suddenly hits me so hard I want to vomit. I miss her. It’s cold and … [Read more…]

How is it that a whole year just went by? I admit that I have, for the most part – been in a state of disassociation I think. Sometimes worse than others. But suddenly the day was here. I had spent about 3 weeks FULLY completely dreading it. Then two weeks wondering what I should … [Read more…]

This is about the time that all the trees with their dried out leaves begin to whisper about the Fall. It is a time of year I normally love. This year it is tainted and darker. There is more than just random stories in the chatter of the leaves. More than just a collection of … [Read more…]

Hi – so I decided to install Xubuntu on my old Eee so I can take it (and not my more expensive lappy) with me on my trip. Problem is, I’m not sure of the right way to go about this, could anyone help with a link to a tutorial for noobs that covers:1) a … [Read more…]

Mostly I just feel like shit. I feel old, tired, ugly, disillusioned, sad and angry. Don’t tell me to see a counselor. Just don’t. Because there is nothing anyone can say to make anything better. Unless his or her child died. Maybe then we’d have something to talk about. Otherwise no. Yes, I have lots … [Read more…]

When tragedy strikes, we are often faced with failure. Not failure of our own self – because it is expected that we break down during tragedy – but failure of belief systems to provide comfort or failure of the support from people we were sure we could have counted on. Having your child die feels … [Read more…]