Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Yesterday, early evening - I went to the church for visitation. I like that - visitation and funeral were at the church and not in a funeral home. A gentle man that sang in the choir for as long as I lived in this small town. He was 99 years old. My heart aches for his wife who is near his age.
Could not get them off of my mind last night. Kept thinking of all of those years they had together and now she is alone. They did not have children but do have nieces and a nephew.

Arriving home and prepared for downtime - I noticed the light and shadow coming through window in front door on a favorite painting. This image does not do it justice - it was beautiful. It was there and then gone - I wonder is that like life - a shadow that is viewed and then gone.

A busy day - Gas in truck, 3 stores for best buys in each one (they are all practically side by side). I am trying to make my trips to town every 10 days to 2 weeks and it is a challenge. Left rubbish off at center, bank and then on to a dear friend who does much for me. A box with a dozen orange cookies, some special fruit, a cutting of a rose bush that roots easily, 4 volunteer cherry tomato plants that came up in my "muddy and wet garden" and a piece of my dill and sage so she could enjoy the scent. She does not plant herbs and time is spent 24 hours caring for a bed ridden husband.

Home, unloaded truck, lunch, computer, phone calls and then took mower and went over some of the woods paths.

Dinner consist of some butternut squash soup that was made yesterday, bath and meditation and prayer time and I am through for the day.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Daily rains are still visiting
I wear a long sleeve shirt
to help with the mosquito problem
Hollyhocks one of my favorite
old fashion flowers
My daughter sent the seeds
from Massachusetts
I brought cuttings from city cottage
Was hoping it was the purple plant
Do not want to hurt your feelings
was hoping for purple
have to admit
you are a beauty.....

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sun is finally shining
Not to good of a night or nights
My inflammation problem has come on full force
I know I will be fine
It will run its course
We all have something
Age brings it on - if never before.
Needed to run an errand and gas in vehicle.
A new eating place in the nearby town
stopped for a carryout
So good - butternut squash quiche
will have to get the recipe
large bowl of fresh fruit
and a delectable cheesecake
This out to restore my appetite :)

~~The Gap Between Impulse and Action~~

It's extremely important to widen the gap between impulse and action; and that 's exactly what mindfulness does. This is one of the big advantages of mindfulness practice: it gives us a moment or two, hopefully, where we can change our relationship to our experience, not be caught in it and swept away by impulse, but rather to see that there's an opportunity to make a different, better choice. I think that understanding the basic neural mechanisms involved is an aid to mindfulness because it tells us we don't have to get swept away.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dusting this early morning
on the upstairs loft
memories
shells from the beach in Jamaica
one found on the bottom of a pool
grandfather's cow bell
petrified wood
crystal's from my son's collection
everywhere I look
there are
memories....

"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing I'd like to do
Is to save everyday
till Eternity passes away" ~~Time In A Bottle~~ Jim Croce

Monday, May 16, 2011

When I was growing up I could remember my grandmother's referring to the cold snaps in the Spring as certain winters. Like Redbud, Dogwood, Blackberry and on and on.
I do know that for the third time I have gone to the storage room to retrieve a warm sweater and my flannel gown.
In a way it is kind of nice. I am well aware how hard I worked on these early Spring days. As it warms up the end of the week I will once again be outside and almost overdoing. Still trying to learn to pace myself.
Early this morning Yoga, light breakfast with coffee. I seldom drink coffee but for some reason this cool
morning called for it I can remember through the years at my parents home it was the first scent I smelled when waking up in the morning. Even now though I do not drink it often - I love the smell.
Chili is going to be made today. Probably the last time until next Fall. Seemed this is what I should prepare today.
I went to church yesterday and also attended a class that I went to for many years.
Just 5 ladies and it seemed to me that time had stood still. They looked the same, talked the same - I wondered if they viewed me in that way? I think of myself as being such a different person then when I met with them weekly those years in the past.
Yesterday was just the way it was suppose to be.
I want everyday to be that way.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I moved part time into this woods home 2 years in July. Brought all of my belongings before the holidays 2 years ago this fall. It was a dream of many years and seems I have lived here forever.

All has seemed so quiet. An occasional visitor from the woods which thrilled me. Every time I saw a wild turkey, deer, frogs, toads, birds, butterflies, all my emerging plants and all the other visitors I met with my camera. I truly felt I had been given a gift.

The critter who has been digging under the concrete air conditioning pad may have been caught.

A possum found in the trap over the weekend. Holes have been filled and trap reset and will seeif anything else makes a visit

Two recent visitors have really unnerved this one woman. A skunk and Callie chased it away.

An hour ago I looked out on the deck and their was a 10 foot long snake basking in the sun.

Called 3 neighbors and no one answered their phone on this 90 degree afternoon.

A call to the young man who cut down my tree and I was in luck - he arrived within minutes.

A chicken snake.I am familiar with themThey were at the old farm house and I am aware that they are a good snake.But it has been a long timesince I saw one this longI was fearful it might be something else

Brad took it further into the woods...

The last few days after all the rain and now very hot it seems I am having a lot of visitors.

Ants and carpenter bee's - do not like.Also now that all the wildlife is getting use to methe birds do not fly awaytoads and frogs do not get out of my wayseveral ticks spotted and like to crawl on meGuess this is why the snake was sunning on the deck.

So I have the thoughts - I love it here so much

Does One Woman in the last years of her life belong at the edge of hundreds of acres of woods?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Whenever I have received flowersThey were always put in the middleof the big table.This beautiful arrangement hasjust been receivedThey are being put in my bedroomI will go to sleep tonightto their heavenly scentThank you to one of myspecial daughters....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A busy and sunny day in storeWas not going to writeAs I made my bed I noticed what was onmy nightstandCandles and a bottle of lotionfrom my daughter'sA special book from my sonA bamboo plantA small clock purchased on St Thomas Island 45 years agoMy bibleA 50 year old lamp and the phoneUnderneath on a shelf is a basketfilled with cards and notessent throughout many monthsMy old favorite chairholds a pillow that was a giftfrom a dear deceased friendThe lady is trimming a flowering vineA silk pillow sent to me by my sonfrom ThailandThe afghan made by a special ladyLoving and special memoriesSurround me...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Rain all nightpart of daymud everywhere - butlook what is bloomingalso red and yellow rosesbut could not get a good imageMy visitor still not caughtWas informed if it is a groundhogthe animal control people will take itBut if it is a raccoonit is a protected species andhave to turn it loose on my propertyIf it is indeed a raccoon and I couldcommunicate with itI would make it a home somewhereother then under my heat and airconcrete slab...

About Me

This Journal is being written for my pleasure, my children and my grandchildren. Sharing some of my past, present and thoughts for future. It is the Journal of a sensitive soul who has entered her 8th decade. My life journey has taken me down a lot of roads with many twists and turns. It's not the journey that I would have visualized at the age of 25 when a third child was on the horizon. I love the warmth of the sun, sound of rain, a crackling fire, simplicity and elegance. Find pleasure in sitting on my porch with tea in a china cup and digging in the earth. I am more myself at this time of life than ever before. A considerable part of my past was in the business world, multi tasking and being super organized. Today I am trying to simplify and be more mindful. Also learning about this journey through aging and Sjogren's Syndrome.
It is not as easy as I thought, even though I have a lot of solitude at this time of life. My days fly by and I do not think I have enough time left on earth to do and experience all that is the desire of my heart.
One thing I am sure of is that I could not make it on this journey without my daily prayer and meditating time.