Is it always best to be honest? (No affairs involved)

Don't mean to be vague, but the facts are fuzzy. I may not love dh anymore, or maybe in having trouble with this more mature me I've become since becoming a mother.The issue is that Dh gets on my nerves constantly, I am so easily irritated even I can't understand it! It's everything, the way he talks, the way he chews, the way he hits the spoon on the pan while cooking... It's ridiculous! I want to talk, but don't know what to say iyswim

Hadn't thought of that walter, so you felt like this? We've considered pnd since the beginning, but was diagnosed with PTSD instead and had Cbt for it, it really helped with birth trauma.I'd love some drugs to make me feel like I used to! I don't know what other symptoms I'd have, it's been so long I don't remember how not to feel this way!

Yes, exactly like you! It was horrible. It was like, I could remember loving him but at that time I couldn't imagine it because he seemed like such an irritating shit!

Everything he did annoyed me. Then he started tiptoeing around me and then that annoyed me because I felt guilty!

I wasn't sleeping either. At all!

Looking back, it's a bit of a blur. I don't remember it properly. I know how I was but can't really remember it being me IYSWIM!

I went to my GP one day and just started to cry. I couldn't tell you why I was crying I just cried and cried!

I was put on mild medication to start with and had some counselling.

When I started to get better, I was shocked that I had thought I didn't love him. I adore him! But it was just because I was ill.

I don't want to hijack or make you think that you have it. Your post just hit a chord with me. And it sounds like you had a really rough time with the birth which could possibly be causing ongoing depression.

I'm always angry, which I didn't used to, I used to be a very upbeat, cheerful person.

Your suggestion has hit a chord with me too, my only unease it that it does mean it all lies with me, which I've been screaming to him that it doesn't! Maybe screaming that you aren't crazy is in itself a sign of craziness??

Thanks, I know it's not my fault, that's not what I meant, more that I'm the one that is ill.After the horror of PTSD I've been very keen on being mentally healthy, and whenever dh has questioned the effectiveness of Cbt I've become very defensive.I know I'm a nightmare to live with, I'll go and see my gp. Thanks again.

Ok now I'm crying reading your posts... Def not normal, am I?Now that you mention the sleep, I've been wondering how is it that when ds has a good night I still wake up and don't go back to sleep even when I'm exhausted, in all honesty I though my body was use to not sleeping due to ds! Gosh I've not been thinking straight!!

I think you should speak to the GP. I went on ADs for a year. I felt like you and went to the GP and filled in the questionnaire and talked about how I felt etc. I saw her every fortnight to begin with and then every 8 weeks whilst on them and regularly re-completed the questionnaire and then I came off them slowly whilst seeing the GP regularly when ready and my score was good. It sounds like a faff but when properly monitored and supported they truly are fantastic. I felt like a new person and wondered exactly how long I'd been depressed after they began to work.

I was often in a low mood for most of the day beforehand. I felt worthless and useless a lot and I had lost enjoyment and interest in life, I had poor motivation and simple tasks seemed difficult. I was always lacking in energy, irritable and tired. I couldnt just snap out of it, life felt so grey. I had this sinking feeling that the whole journey of life was now going to be like this with little enjoyment and even less hope.

I had this lethargy, this weariness for life and hopelessness. Everyday was like wading through treacle and yes my husband at the time, I was exactly like you, very angry, everything he did made me angry. Everything!

I was going to say mini pill too - it made me have all of these really negative thoughts, but in a way that I knew just weren't coming from any rational place. I put two and two together, stopped taking it and a week later pretty much back to normal. The advice about going to your gp though still sounds very good.

Wow, can't believe it might have been the mini pill, it's been 3 days of not taking it and I already don't have as many people as before, and actually feel some degree of sympathy for dh... Have a gp app next week. Thanks again, I wouldn't have though of it by myself!