Thursday, December 30, 2010

My grandpa was the grandson of a missionary doctor and the son of a dairy farmer. He was a teacher, pastor, pilot, mechanic, athlete, marksman, renowned gardener, lumberjack, story teller, colporteur, woodworker, farmer, master guide, and a missionary.

I remember being held up against his shoulder to see the stars at night. "And that is Cygnus the swan." The autumn air was chilly and the starlight crisp. "If you listen, you can hear him honk as he flies across the sky."I strained my toddler ears to hear the big bird in the distance - "HONK! HONKKK!" Papa teased in my ear. I jumped! Papa chuckled. Regaining my composure I told him not to be afraid - I would take care of him - and could we please go back inside?

As a skilled gymnast in college Papa's favorite stunt was walking on his hands up a series of ladders to the top of the scaffolding in the gymnasium. One of my early memories is of Papa tumbling a perfectly straight row of somersaults and trying to show me how to tuck my head just right. I wanted to look where I was going which resulted in rather ungraceful sprawls. He also would demonstrate the head stand and walk on his hands for me - I never got the hang of it!

Riding on top of a load of wood in a wheelbarrow I would laugh as he would run uphill grinning at my joy. He built a playhouse out of the old stone room in the mountainside next to the spring in the woods below their house. He also enjoyed racing alongside our car as we left their house. When we were older he taught Shaila and Nathan and I how to build lean-tos and shelters that were water tight, hefting logs that were as big as I was on his shoulder carrying them easily through the woods. He used the axe, machete or chainsaw as naturally as one would use their own arm and was skilled in the art of hewing.

The only skill my mother interfered with was learning to drop start a chainsaw. But our camping trips were filled with invaluable lessons in orienteering, canoeing, cooking over the fire, types of trees and their uses, species of birds, wild edibles, and wonderful songs and stories around the campfire. Stories about his favorite cow that took first place in the state fair five years in a row. Or the time Papa and a buddy raced the Michigan Championship, a 270 mile non-stop race. Even though they had a heavy outclassed old-town canoe they finished in the money at 10th out of more than sixty canoes – their time was 27 hours and 33 minutes. In more recent years Papa and Grandma would travel for weeks at a time by canoe through the Canadian wilderness and bring us back pictures of moose, interesting birds, and other wildlife.

But Instituto Adventista Agro Industrial in Brazil was Papa’s lifework. A miraculous story of God’s blessing on a young man’s dream, 25,000 acres of virgin rain forest, and the lives of children from the remote rivers of the Amazon.

I was in Brazil during Papa’s last visit to his heart land. During this trip Papa developed an infection in a wound and was hospitalized for a time. I had the privilege of staying with him and recording his memories of the school. It is a story of young ideas, hard labor, and unstoppable hope. Of protection from leopards and venomous snakes, and of hundreds of greenhouses that produced agricultural wonders. A history of raw trust in God and a commitment to tithing that is still blessing the lives of the hundreds of students who attend each year.

Many of first students became like my grandparents own children and are considered family to this day. They fondly remember his simple faith, dedication to their success, and his legendary strength. They credit their success in life to the education he gave them. But though he appreciated their generosity, more than once Papa told me, “They were greatest bunch of kids I’ve ever worked with. They gave us the credit but it was God’s blessing on the kids tithe more than anything else. God blessed far more than we deserved.”

I’m so grateful for my Papa and the treasure chest of memories that my heart holds. The memories are accompanied by his favorite song: the Portuguese translation of the hymn "There is Joy in Serving Jesus".

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

This year for the first time in 74 years a Nobel Peace prize recipient was not allowed to attend the awards ceremony and no representative was there to receive the honer. Liu, a democracy activist, is in prison in China. An empty chair was placed in his honor holding his picture. The audience responded with a standing ovation when the call was made for his release.

Empty chairs state someones' absence.

A still void, a business, or a call to duty.A missing of someone.

An invitation.A visit.

Saudade.

After my junior year in academy I traveled to Brazil as an exchange student for the summer. I attended the boarding academy for the last portion of their first semester (their school year is set up differently).

It was an incredible immersion. A latin warmth and inclusiveness I had not felt before. Even though I often did not understand their words they made a place for me among them. I returned in the fall to Shenandoah Valley Academy to complete my senior year with a heart enriched by my experiences in Brazil.

About Christmas time my senior year I received a package from Tia Sueli in Brazil. It was a mailer with pictures of graduation. Their high school is a three year program from which they graduate in December. Among the remembrances was a large picture of me that was signed on the back by all the graduates. At their graduation ceremony they had included an empty chair with my picture on it among the rest of the graduating students on stage. It is difficult to describe the warmth that filled my heart at this gesture of friendship.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For the fist time in history there was an empty chair in heaven. Someones absence was keenly felt for over 30 years. There was a still void, a business, and a call to duty. The invitation. The visit. Saudade.

It was an incredible immersion into a stark reality of the cruelest tyranny, debilitating disease, and the slaughter of innocent. They did not understand the words. There was no welcome.

Later some called him an activist. Few called him friend. Though he released humanity, humanity tortured him and no one noticed the call for his release.

With his heart touched by his experiences on earth he places his signature on our picture and pulls an empty chair up close. Waiting with excitement for us to come.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Preface: I have been thoroughly enjoying studying through Testimony Treasures. I find the solid counsel and balanced approach to life refreshing and indispensable.The following excerpts are taken from Volume I, p. 208 - 211.

True Love

True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in nature.

It looks beyond mere externals and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding. God tests us by the common occurrences of life. It is the little thing which reveal the chapters of the heart...

It will be found at last that the denial of self for the good and happiness of those around us constitutes a large share of the life record in heaven.

Love is power.

Intellectual and moral strength are involved in this principle, and cannot be separated from it.

Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh than the amount he doeth.

Love is of God.

Love cannot live without action, and every act increases, strengthens, and extends it.

Love will gain the victory when argument and authority are powerless.

Love works not for profit nor reward; yet God has ordained that great gain shall be the certain result of every labor of love.

Love is diffusive in its nature and quiet in its operation, yet strong and mighty in its purpose to overcome great evils.

Love is melting and transforming in its influence, and will take hold of the lives of the sinful and affect their hearts when every other means has proved unsuccessful.

Pure love is simple in its operations and is distinct from any other principle of action.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nana is an incredible blessing! And one of my heroes - or shall I say heroines? :)This weekend I learned that she is quite the accomplished pianist!I pray that God will grow me as gracefully has He has for her.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I just finished reading this wonderful book last night. It has challenged my picture of God.Broadened the horizon of life's possibilities. Opened my eyes to deeper definitions of love.And reaffirmed the consecration of His calling for my heart to be His face of Love to those around me.

Here is a taste of the her journey: Of cathedrals of dirt, storm-dancing, hiding in the light, and living life off the map of chartered human existence.

"Born without her left hip and leg, Michele Perry is no stranger to seeming impossibilities. So when she arrived in war-torn southern Sudan, with little more then faith in God's promises, she did what everyone told her was crazy: She opened a home for orphaned children in guerrilla warfare territory."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

While doing a little research on non-profit organizations listed with the Better Business Bureau - I happened upon The Elephant Sanctuary in Hohenwald Tennessee.

"The Elephant Sanctuary in Hohenwald, Tennessee, is the nation's largest natural-habitat refuge developed specifically to meet the needs of endangered elephants. It is a non-profit organization, licensed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, and accredited by the Association of Sanctuaries, designed specifically for old, sick or needy elephants who have been retired from zoos and circuses. Utilizing more than 2700 acres, it provides three separate and protected, natural-habitat environments for Asian and African elephants. Our residents are not required to perform or entertain for the public; instead, they are encouraged to live like elephants."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

My first personal experience with general anesthesia happened yesterday (Friday morning). I did try to talk the oral surgeon into doing a partial level of anesthesia - but he looked at me gently with professional concern and repeated the part about four impacted wisdom teeth and needing to remove chips of my jaw bone to extract the upper set. So I signed the consent form.

I don't remember waking up... A fuzzy memory of walking to the car and feeling tippy. Then I was in Walmart. And sweet Kelsey encouraging me to sit down and explaining to the sales clerk that I had just had my wisdom teeth removed. Apparently they were having trouble understanding me because my lips felt like two flat tires bumping together (I think I still had large wads of gauze between my back molars at this point as well).

It took a while for them to fill the prescriptions. So while waiting it occurred to my foggy brain that it was an ideal time to go shopping - we were at Walmart after all! And I needed to purchase a bike lock and a toaster. It was clearly the most sensible thing to do... Kelsey was prompting me to type my pin number, and then I was home stumbling up the steps and telling patient Kesley that I wanted to go with her to the gym and go swimming.

After I woke up about sundown I ravenously downed four or five bowls of creamy potato leek soup. When my mom called that evening and asked how my day was, I told her that I had gotten my wisdom teeth removed and then gone shopping for a toaster and a bike lock on the way home - and we laughed!

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Sufi poem that I posted in the previous post was quoted in the book "It's Really All About God - Reflections of a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian", by Samir Selmanovic. It is a thought provoking book that has enhanced the colors in my understanding of God. Though I differ significantly on a few points, the majority of what I have read so far has allowed me to borrow the religious glasses of other worldviews and consider life as they live it and their experiences and understanding of the Unseen One.

Here is another poem he included in the chapter where the author shared his personal journey - A story of Croatia, the Soviet Union, and becoming the first Christian in a large Muslim family.

Written by an Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai:

The Place Where We Are Right

From the place where we are rightflowers will never growin the spring.

The place where we are rightis hard and trampledlike a yard.

But doubts and lovesdig up the worldlike a mole, a plow.

And a whisper will be heard in the placewhere the ruinedhouse once stood.

"Giving up being right about God, about life, about ourselves, is a process of emptying. When emptied of our need to be in charge of all the answers we open ourselves to the stories of people we have always thought we knew. And as we listen and speak, we find our differing and difficult stories woven together, whole and beautiful for the whole universe to see." p. 43

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I pressed my lips to the tip of the squeegee handle and tried to look serious as I posed for my favorite artist. With a Bran Flakes box cutout taped to the end for the bell of the important angels trumpet it was almost the right shape for the reference picture. What would it feel like to be in orbit above the world?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A while back I was experimenting with new blog options and accidently clicked "apply to blog." I didn't like the colors - but have been so busy that I haven't had time to change it! This blog will most likely continue to morph for awhile... until my fiddling around finds the right chord progression.

My buisiness: 60% working nightshift, 25% sleeping to recover from night shift, 10% teaching and working at Tristate, and 5% a miscellaneous assortment of necessaries like laundry, watering plants and scrubbing the bathtub.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

"Corrie, what you do among these people is of little importance in the eyes of men, but I'm sure in God's eyes it is the most valuable work of all." ~ Casper Ten Boom

I have always been inspired and challenged by the stories of Corrie Ten Boom and her work in the underground in the Netherlands during WWII. Yet it was only when I began reading this book that I learned that she was fifty years old when she started this work. This book is the first in a series that chronicles her life experiences. It recounts the important lessons and events during the earlier years that prepared her for the darkness of the war and the unique ministry God gave her as a result of her experiences.

Do not ask "What can I do?" but "What can He not do?"

"I experienced the miracle that the highest potential of God's love and power is available to us in the trivial things of everyday life."

"When Jesus takes your hand He keeps you tight.When Jesus keeps you tight He leads you through life.When Jesus leads you through life,He brings you safely home."

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The blessings of a Christian family are often underestimated by their children. I have always loved my family dearly - but as I have grown older I have gained a deeper appreciation for their values and sacrifices. To be so richly blessed on both sides of my family with such a rich heritage of faith and courage is a wonderful gift!

When I went to the Benedict family reunion I took some time to peruse the binders of genealogy, pictures, and interesting remembrances of my great grandma and grandpa that have been complied by their children.

One item of interest was a small booklet on the history of the first Benedict in America complied by the great grandson of Thomas Benedict - the first known immigrant with this last name. As I read about him and his family I thought how much fun it would be to meet him in heaven! There are so many fascinating people and it will be wonderful when we are no longer limited by one slice of time - and will be able to meet each individual and hear their story of God's blessings in their life.

Here are some interesting facts I learned about him and his family:

"The action of the General Court, whenever his name came before it, shows that he was known and esteemed by the authorities of the main land; indeed it is apparent from cotemporaneous events that he was a main support of the cause of Connecticut on Long Island."

". . . Besides the service of these more conspicuous appointments, he rendered much to his friends in a non-official and neighborly way. His good sense and general intelligence, some scientific knowledge and his skill as a penman, made him their recourse when papers were to be drafted, lands to be surveyed and apportioned, or disputes to be arbitrated. It is evident that very general respect for his judgment prevailed, and that trust in his integrity was equally general and implicit."

Though there was not specific mention of military service, one of his sons, Daniel, received a grant of land for his services in the "direful swamp fight" of Dec. 19, 1675, one of the bloodiest struggles of the Indian wars in the New England region which "filled the whole country with woe and lamentation."

"His posterity have never shown themselves derelict in respect to either loyalty or bravery. The public enemy has ever been their enemy; the muster of rolls of every army ever raised to defend the country, or to achieve or maintain its independence, abound with their names; and none more so than those of the last and greatest of all American armies; the army, whose loyalty, patriotism, bravery and patience, saved the cause of Liberty and Civilization, first for their countrymen, and scarcely less, for the rest of mankind."

Thomas Benedict is recorded to have purchased land from the Indians rather than taking it - I liked that a lot! He is identified as being the founder of the first Presbyterian church in America in 1662, and helped to build churches in every town he lived in - serving as Deacon in Norwalk until his death at age 73.

"The fruits of their culture and discipline, under circumstances certainly not favorable, are conspicuous enough in the character and lives of their children, and childrens' children; and prove him to have been a wise and prudent father, and her a judicious and faithful mother. The love which united them at the beginning kept them united to the end; and his Will, probably one of the last acts of his life, is full of evidences of thoughtful affection for his wife; his great concern seeming to have been to secure her comfort when he should be able to provide for it no longer."

"Their grandson, Deacon James Benedict, of Ridgefield, is the only one of their posterity, who, speaking from actual knowledge, furnishes even a glimpse of this interesting couple. He says: "they walked in the midst of their house with a perfect heart. They were strict observers of the Lords day 'from even to even'; and I think it may be said of them, as it was of Zacharias and Elizabeth, that 'they walked in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless, and obtained a good report through faith." This excellent example had good effect by the blessing of heaven, upon their children.

"This proclivity toward the deaconship continued in the family; for, as late as 1851, another of his descendants, Rev. Dr. Nathaniel Bouton, in an Historical Discourse pronounced by him, July 9th of that year, on occasion of the two hundredth anniversary of the settlement of Norwalk, closes a tribute to the memory of his ancestor thus: "The savor of his piety, as well as his venerable name, has been transmitted through a long line of deacons and other godly descendants, to the seventh generation."

The beginning of his will speak to the simple and profound trust in his God:

"I, Thomas Bennidick of Norwalk, in ye County of Fairfield, in ye Colony of Conecticut, aged aboute 73 years, being weak of body yet of perfect mind and memory, do make and declare this as my last Will and Testament.Imprimis. I do commend my Soule into ye hands of my gracious God y hath made it, and do give my body to ye Earth from whence it was, to be decently buried, in hope of a happy and gracious Resurrection at ye last day; As for my temporall Estate, I do despose of as followeth;I do will and bequeath to my loveing wife Mary Bennidick my whole Estate, house and households, Lands, Cattle - to use and despose according to ye controll and advice she, with my overseers afterwards mentioned, shall judg[e] most [ ] during ye Time of her naturall Life, and after ye decease of ye said Mary, my wife, I do will and bequeath to my Sonn, Daniell Bennidick, my dwelling house barne and houseing , orchard and four ewes - ye whole of my homested - to be to him adn his heirs to have and to howld, forever."

Then he goes on to list specific portions of land and or livestock for his numerous children and grandchildren, with the condition that they "behauve (themselves) dutefully and louvingly" towards his wife and be tender to her and to provide for her "comfortable liveing".

This line made me smile:"I do will and bequeath to my daughter Rebecka Wood [the] mare ye is now running in ye wood;"

My great great grandpa's family

My great grandpa (Howard) having a good snowball fight!

Great grandpa working as a hired hand.

The SDA school that he built right before he was killed in a car accident. This school was a novelty at the time because it had flush toilets, was concert / brick construction, fluorescent lighting, a kitchen for fixing hot lunches - and the latest blackboards that were green - not black!

He regularly corresponded with missionaries and friends around the world. This is a memento that was sent to him by a friend in World War I who was stationed in France.

My great grandma Zelma - a wonderful mother to eight children, a nurse, and a Sabbath School teacher.

Here are some recent snapshots from the Benedict family reunion - I was enjoying talking so much that I didn't take very many pictures :)Valerie was dearly missed.

These are cousins who have been working in Papua New Guinea for the past 3 years and are home on furlow.

Their Dad demonstrating the attire of the tribe of Godola people who adopted him and his family. This was after church - they shared all the wonderful things that God has been doing at their remote mission post.

Sweet Aunt AgnusMy great-aunt Carole - a timeless personality!

The Brazillians :) My Mommy, Grandma, and Aunt SueliKorean cousins!

"The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him,And He will show them His covenant."Psalm 25:14

Monday, July 12, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010

Occasionally there is a day when one small cleaning task leads to another and the circling about sometimes leads to forgotten treasures. Yesterday was such a day. And somewhere down the morphing list of window washing, fertilizing plants, and cleaning up the unnoticed leak of laundry detergent which had been punctured some time ago by a curious green parrot... I found myself cross legged in front of a book shelf sorting through a catch-all pile of miscellaneous items;

A canoe map of the TN river system inherited from my Papa and Grandma,Sermon notes, a smattering of graduation cards, a tourist map of Brussels, Belgium...Great grandmas watercolor blanks for special hand painted cards....Plenty of alcohol prep pads, my B.S. nursing pin, my faithful graphing calculator.A handmade card with dried violas filled with encouragement from a kindred spirit.My authorization to test for NCLEX - why do I still have this?A Brazilian book mark with a silly bug cartoon that says in literal translation; "Life with Jesus is a great happiness!"

A well used business card for Mr. Stanton; a master craftsman and inventor. I think the card went through the wash a few years ago.

The next slip of paper brings a smile to my face. There are many unnecessary things that I unintentionally keep for years - but this is not one of them. This was handed to my by a friend with a website penciled on the back. Perhaps my sophomore or junior year in academy. I kept it tucked in the front of my purple three-ring binder where I could be reminded by its wisdom each time I opened it. That purple binder finally disintegrated after 8-10 plus years of scholastic service but I kept the little card when the rest when to the the dumpster. At a glance it has given me a plucky spurt of courage through A&P, Physics, Adult III, and all the classes in between. It has inspired me to reach out to others around me - to do and to be when I would have been silent instead.I've missed seeing it so often. I think I will take it with me tonight when I go downtown to work and try to be the nurse I've yet to become. It's not the little paper, it's the promise written on it - words I need to see more often. So I will fix it inside the gray locker door and when I see it God Himself will hug my heart and show me what to do.

Welcome - I'm glad you're here!

Surviving Cancer

I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the esophagus in January 2011. A exceedingly rare occurrence for someone of my age and health. God has already worked miracles for me to still be here. I trust God - life or death - I love Him!

Update: August 2012 a PET/CT scan showed metastasis to bilateral lungs and multiple lymph nodes. The oncologist said 6-12 months. I have chosen to pursue natural / alternative therapy options instead of more chemo.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

Wisteria

A flowering vine with heavenly scented flowers. This what I want the music of my life to sound like.