Suicide silence.

Candid post warning.

September is always one of reflection, being suicide awareness month.

Suicide sucks. Period. End of story.

As any death does.

I think it’s harder to understand because we don’t all feel so lost or weighed down by the pain that those who die of suicide do. Often we can’t fathom how death would ever be an ideal option. Most victims are loved, and love after all. I assure you those who pass of suicide don’t die because they don’t love us,or think of us. They do. A lot.

They aren’t as selfish as society makes them out to be.

Some churches still refuse funerals for those lost or consider it a mortal sin, some won’t pay respects because of archaic beliefs or stigmas attached. And that is just plain sad. These are people. Amazing, strong and courageous people who succumbed to an illness.

The loss due to suicide doesn’t hurt less than other deaths. Albeit they may leave us more confused, likely questioning and carrying guilt. It’s something that crushes us to the core, yet we still stay quiet, we don’t speak of the pain leading up to the passing, often we’re left in shock. We stay silent because it’s easier than discussing such a taboo subject.

I speak often of doing all we can to prevent our son from dieing of suicide. It’s a daily thought in our minds, have we done enough? We just don’t know. What I don’t speak so much about is that I am a survivor of being on that brink. I wasn’t there because I was selfish. I was there because the pain was unbearable. Putting my family through my pain was unbearable. Thankfully with help and support I survived. I am here, where the thought no longer creeps in, where I am living a full life. I survived.

I also don’t speak of the double digits of childhood friends lost due to suicide. Their stories aren’t mine to share. But with every one I’m brought back to the others. With every one my voice gets a little louder for those who are silent or can’t find their voice.

We must remember suicide is not our fault. Suicide is not their fault.

Many don’t know where to go,many don’t get treatment or help, especially boys and men, because of stereotypes. That needs to stop.

Shame and embarrassment is often piled on top of the already agonizing pain, to the point death truly does seem to be the only way to help. There is no shame, or there shouldn’t be.

There is support,and help and often stability if we just open our minds and hearts enough. Sometimes, as heart breaking as it is, those aren’t enough. I truly believe that less lives would be lost if there wasn’t the added stigmas and shame of asking for help however.

I am not promoting suicide, quite the opposite, I am promoting support, help, ridding of stigmas and stereotypes. Most of all I am promoting love and compassion for those who are lost. Remembering and hoping ❤