Keep it strictly on the dancefloorOtherwise what’s your booty for?Girl, you know that I can deliverSatisfaction shoots a shiverAnd if you wanna shack up after the showGirl, just let me knowI don’t get starstruck anymoreBaby, I’m a headliner

When the lights go outOur love will sproutThere’s a glimmer in your eyeAnd it’s blinding

Iceage BabelandIt’s a nice place for a hot bandWe’re in a Iceage BabelandIt’s a nice place for a hot band

The way you move your J. Lo is so divineC’mon backstage if you want it signedI can be your guilty pleasurerBaby, I’m your headliner

Got the wedding invites you couldn’t sendGot my vagrant wife to attendShe didn’t like the dress that I carefully pressedShe didn’t like bridesmaid that I undressed

I’ve been as sick as a sweaty sealwho lost his tricks at the Jeopardy wheelWhy won’t you just be real?This is realThis is real

When I’m gone everything is finebut in your arms I just want to dieWhen I’m gone everything is finebut in your arms I just want to dieSo make the face like we’re having funGo on pretend that you’re still the oneYeah, make the face like we’re having funMake the face

You look beautiful in the starBut the feeling’s goneBut the feeling’s gone

9/11/2008

Look at my facial hair!(Oh man, hot damn, it’s everywhere!)(Where’d you get that beard?)I grew it(How do you keep it so clean?)I shampoo it(Yeah!)

I really wish I could grow a mustache(Why don’t you?)Well, frankly, I don’t have the cashYou gotta take care of your facial hairOtherwise it gets scruffy and bareThe elements of styleFor the beard ownerThe essential manualFor owners of beards

Trim it, cut it, comb it, style itClean it, and scent with violetLove it, but don’t get violentRub it, but not in publicEat with it, but don’t get messyThe only rule is keep it classy!

I was on a fishing boatAnd I tried to grow a beard but it wouldn’t floatThree weeks later out at seaI realized this beard wasn’t working for meI tried to shave it off but I had no creamEveryone on the boat could hear me scream!

9/10/2008

I like it when you say you got a gun in your bagThat’s so hotThat’s so hot

I like it when you say you’re gonna kill JTTurns me onTurns me on

I like it when you say you’re gonna beat kids upGets me offGets me off

I like it when you say you’d go gay for BenThat’s so bombThat’s so bomb

Do you like my ponytail?(I do! I do!)My sideways ponytail?(It’s true! It’s true!)

Do you wanna see Shamu with me?(Yes I do! I love Shamu!)Do you wanna go to the oyster fest?(Yes, oh, yes! That’s the best!)Do you wanna go on the tilt-a-whirl?(C’mon girl, ‘til you hurl)

I can be the captain of your submarine(That's my dream 'cause we're a team)I could be the subject of your neck tattoo(Just for you, it's overdue)We could burn our bags when we graduate(That'd be great. It's a date!)You know, you don't have to answer everything I say...(Okay!)