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What I Learned From The Five-Year Engagement

Friday, October 4, 2013

This is a comedy love story about a young couple, Tom and Violet, who took five years unexpected journey after engagement and before finally they walk down the aisle. I watched this movie around month ago on HBO and they keep re-run this movie for couple times and few hours ago I just finished it again, because I got something to write here. Alasan lain, jadi kebawa perasaan banget habis nonton ini, zzzz.

I have a relationship with my boyfriend for three years four months already. We are going through our long-distance relationship now (which is not that bad, it doesn't suck for us) and as you know that I wrote before in previous post, we have been thinking about marriage. Talking about marriage is really scary for us. It's like, "We're only in early 20s and talking about marriage... whattttt?!". But yeah, the goal of our relationship is marriage, it is.

This movie means a lot for me because I have learned much about Tom and Violet relationship before they are finally getting married. Getting married is not an easy thing, guys. Marriage is not just about a big event where you can wear your perfect wedding dress and you are gonna invite 500 up of guests. No, no.. of course not about that all. I am not a marriage pro, not even an expert and I haven't getting married before, but since I learned a lot other people story about their marriage, and I watched this movie, I just want to tell you guys something that I and my boyfriend learned about our three years relationship, inspired by this movie (:

1. When you are in a relationship, you are being a single too. Being single as in to prepare yourself, maturely, before tying the knots.

Something happened after Tom and Violet got engaged. Violet started to worry about she-would-not-ever-find-her-dream-job after getting married. She is a PhD graduate and she always wants to get a job in Berkley. She got accepted in University of Michigan then, for post-doctorate program for two years instead. Tom is having a good job as a chef in a fancy restaurant that time. When he knows about Violet's plan, he decided to follow her move to Michigan and quit his awesome job. Long story short, they both seem like getting busy with their own career until their relationship became so strained.

Being single when you are in a relationship, you have so much time to pursue anything you want. Your career, your dreams or anything. After you are getting married, the life is not about yourself alone anymore. Being married somebody means you are become one, two souls become one. The dreams that you and your hubby/wife have also become one too, you both have to pursue it together. So, make sure if you want to get married already, it means you are ready to share your dream together.

2. Don't ever go out with your guy friend when you are in a fight.

Trust me, just don't try this, girls.

Girls are more emotional than boys. You will never know what are gonna happen with you and your guy friend, like Violet and Winton. When you are guys in a fight, just try to solve it immediately. Don't take it for any longer. And if you have to find someone to share, you can find your trusty best friend. I have been into a big fight with my boyfriend in the past, what I did was calling my best friend (gosh, I love you so much!) and I shared all to her. Once again, you'll never know if you find another guys or another girls to share about your fights. Just.. don't.

3. Remember girls, guys usually don't talk feeling.

If someday they have a problem, just trying to be a good listener. Don't talk to much or don't ever try to blame him of his problem. Just give him some time to quiet and if he is ready to share, he will share.

4. Don't ever say "I am fine" or "It's okay" when you are really not fine or you are really not okay.

Please, don't lie yourself, it would be hurt you so much. You have him/her to share everything, right? Let it out and start to figure out the problems.

5. Don't take any decisions when you are emotional.

After kissed Winton *sorry spolier*, she quickly find Tom and asked him to prepare the wedding as soon as possible, just because she was feeling so guilty. As we know, taking any decisions when you are in bad emotion, it will become so worst. Just be careful if you have to take a choice, think it hard before making them.

6. Last, don't get married too soon until you are both ready.

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Well, that's all what I can share here. Once again, I am not an expert, some of them are based on my personal experiences. And oh! There are also some lessons that I learned from the movie, not a serious one.. just for fun.

1. Propose your girlfriend in the rooftop. It would be sooooo damn romantic!

Tom is proposing Violet, with Golden Gate night view as a background. Tell me if you don't ever want this!

2. Just don't try to spoil your propose plan like Tom did. It was pretty funny when Violet found out just because she knows when Tom starts to sweating and so nervous, he probably hides something XD;

Keep calm and make her say "yes", guys.

3. I won't ever do a spontaneous marriage like the end of the movie *opps, another spoiler?* hahaha.

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So I hope you guys enjoy reading my not so random writings. Please don't blame me, I write what I want to say, hehe. By the way, I told him to watch this movie again together, I am not sure this is a good or bad idea, haha. Well, this is Friday night, I guess you guys are gonna have some fun out there. Take care and stay awesome!

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20s mom with a son, love having coffee twice a day, born and raised in the capital city, currently living in Kota Hujan. Reading good books, eating good food, writing stories are all my favorite things. So glad you've found this blog, please enjoy and stay awhile!