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In the hopes of snagging the vice-presidential slot on the Democratic ticket headed by Senator John Kerry (D-Mass), Senator John Edwards (D-NC) today underwent an experimental surgical procedure designed to remove every trace of charisma from his body.

Dr. Byron Delafield, the surgeon who performed the charisma-extraction surgery, told reporters that he was “cautiously optimistic” that Mr. Edwards’ body was 100% charisma-free.

“We have successfully brought his charisma down to a range where it is barely detectable  somewhere between Dick Gephardt and Wesley Clark,” Dr. Delafield said.

Earlier in the week, Sen. Edwards had hinted that he might require extreme medical measures to make himself uncharismatic enough for Mr. Kerry, telling his audience at a rally in Pittsburgh, “I’m too sexy for my stiff.”