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3.13.2012

Why It's Crazy to Guide Your Teens Through Life

The title makes it sound like I am going to tell you the reason, when in reality, I am gonna test the theory.

I was waiting tor the children to do their thing(school). I played a You Tube video. Okay, it was Cupid Shuffle. Yes, I realize if I want them to do the work, we have to not take dance breaks. I think it's spring fever.

Anyway. One thing led to another and pretty soon I was eating a bacon sandwich and listening to music from new Footloose which led to old Footloose and before I knew it...Lynyrd Skynyrd (shut up).

It was noon and about 80 degrees. So the kids were outside. I was listening to something vaguely resembling the soundtrack of my youth. And I realized.

The reason this is crazy is that I remember it. I don't think we reeeeeally remember being little. Of course, we can see scenes. Remember events. But by the time I was in high school, there was a different consciousness. Memories are complete enough to revisit with our adult awareness and gather subtext that we discerned, but were as yet to young to interpret.

Whew.

I mean to say, that while some ditty from my youngpersonhood be-bopped in my ear, I glanced back and forth between the video and the kids in the backyard, and I realized the girl I was can completely identify with the needs and wishes and struggles and fears of my daughters at this age. But.

I am responsible to guide them through making decisions. By telling them the truth and letting them reject it. And they seem to have a bit of a biological imperative to do so.

You know when you get to the age when you think, "if only I could go back to high school with the knowledge I have now."?

Then in a couple of years you realize, "even if I went back, it wouldn't be the same."

In a couple more, "not for a million dollars."

Well, guess what?

We do go back with all the knowledge and hard gained wisdom and scars. Unable to use them.

I am juuuuust getting a glimmer of this with 9 year old. It's sort of a scramble to try to reach inside for that wisdom, but I think as she gets a little older I'll figure out how to impart some of it on her. Maybe I need to turn on the Skynyrd!