Saturday, May 23, 2009

Flashback to good times in 2006

I've been feeling a little sad this holiday weekend. Before you say, "What the hell is he moaning about now?" let me start off by saying, I'm happy and I realize I have a great life. So please don't think I'm on the verge of some major breakdown... again. LOL.

I guess part of the reason I'm sad is because I really wanted to go to IML and the Grabby's. I've never been there to either of those events. I wanted to go last year and my friend Tim went and sent me a photo he took with his cell phone of a HUGE wall size poster of me from the movie "Link: The Evolution". That film won "Best All Sex Video" last year and this year the flim "Blue Movie", which I also appear in, is up for the same award.

I didn't go because I really couldn't afford the trip to Chicago. Airfare, hotel, food... it's expensive. The bills just started coming in from my hand surgery (even with my insurance it's expensive as shit!) and I have my shoulder surgery less than a month away. I haven't mention that yet because I'm still dealing with the hand surgery. The shoulder surgery is going to cost much more and I can't even afford to use my Short-Term Disabilty from work because it only pays me 40% of my salary. I can't pay my bills on that. There was no way I was going to justify going to IML and the Grabby's with all of those medical bills looming over my head.

I'm also kinda sad about my hand. It doesn't really hurt. At least physically. Psychologically is a different story. I have this huge Frankenstein wound on my hand with these big black stitches in them. I know it will heal just fine and it will only look like some more lines in my palm. But for now it sucks to look at. It makes me feel week and vulnerable. And I haven't been able to work out for 2 weeks now. I can't remember when I've gone two weeks without working out. Oh, ya... the last time I had shoulder surgery. Which is coming up again. Once the stitches come out on Wednesday I will be able to work out again and I'll have a couple of weeks to bulk up again before I have to take another break from the gym for the shoulder stuff. Ugh.

So I'm trying to stay happy and positive. Watching movies usually make me happy, so I rented a bunch of movies and I'm working my way through them. Twilight, Igor, City of Ember, Benjamin Button, Sweeney Todd, Space Chimps, Don't mess with the Zohan, Space Troopers 3, and the first disc of the second season of Heros. Damn... I guess I rented a bunch of stuff. I've also been going to the movies. So far I've seen Wolverine, Star Trek, and tonight, Terminator Salvation. All great movies with Star Trek easily making the list of my Top 10 favorite movies.

I also went through some of the older photos that I have stored on my computer. Here are a few from 2006... right after my mom died. It was only 3 years ago but it seems like a million years ago. It was before I started working out heavy-duty and before I started doing any modeling or porn. I was so innocent back then. Just look at the photo of me lying on my couch above.

OK... maybe the next 3 photos tell a different story. I guess I've always had an appetite for cock. I admit it. What you can't see in the photos is that I'm actually spread across the front seat of my truck and my hands are tied to some part under the seat. And the photos that come next in the series get even hotter. Not sure I want to show those right now.

Fun times. I could use some more fun times like that right about now. For now I'll just heat up a couple of Cheeseburger Lean Pockets and finish watching the show I Tivo'd on Farrah Faucet and her battle with cancer. Hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend and having as much fun as I was in the photos below!

Sorry your feeling down Nick. Yes being without the right kind of medical insurance really sucks in this county. A lot of people are in that boat including me.I'm sure your going to come back and maybe make it to IML and the Grabby's next year. I really don't care about that anyway because your a winner in my book!

I also get nostalgic sometimes thinking back to better days too. I hope you'll get back to your old self again soon.

Sorry to hear that you have missed so much work. I had no idea. I'm sure that with a house payment your bills really eat up a paycheck. Enjoy your long weekend and your movies. Tell Fishy "HI" for me. James from Iowa.

Stan... Believe me, I'm VERY greatfull for EVERYTHING that I have and every opportunity that is presented to me. Just having a quite time to reflect I guess. It's good for the soul.

Tom... Haven't watched Zohan yet. I LOVE anything with Adam Sandler in it. Even Little Nicky! (I think I'm the only one who liked that movie.)

James... I have only taken one sick day so far. I went back to work the day after my hand surgery even though I wasn't supposed to. And they recommend taking 3 months off for the shoulder but at least 3 weeks before you even try to do anything. I can't afford to take any time off. So I am going to have the surgery on Thursday, use a sick day on Friday, and go back to work on Monday. Should be interesting. Last time I had this surgery I had this suit with ice cold water going through it that was attached with a cooler filled with ice. Don't know how I'm going to get to work with that!