Saturday, October 2, 2010

I'm going to lose it- if I haven't already(:

-----------------------------------Hyperventilation: Define it for me.For over an hour, it really scared myself.I cant talk to my mum about my problems,besides the fact that they're mostly caused by her,she wouldn't understand anyways.Now because I wasbreathing quickly, and heavily and trying to try not to cry late last night, she thinks I'm crazy.She said I was just overworked.She doesn't understand,she simply doesn't know.I think the episode I had last night will only makes things worse,she'll be more strict and secure,which she doesn't understand was alreadypart of my problems.She doesn't take me andmy personal opinions ever into account.She doesn't trust me. Thought I was going to run away last night.(but of course I wasn't, I wouldn't leave with lose ends, unprepared, and she doesn't ever give me enough credit for being a rather canny person with good knowledge and reasoning for things) I'm not sure how to deal with all my own problems, or tell others of them or ask for help. So my best solution is usually trying to ignore and avoid them,and let time resolve things.I remember thinkingas I was on those swings last night,all I wantedall I wantis to be happy.-------------------------------So smile on, love on, live on(: