Michael's Journey

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

So again a huge gap in writing and almost considered ditching the blog altogether... i have just found that a self centred blog has not really been my focus and without some real motivation to inspire/challenge or create there has seemed little point...

Really life has been about finding new direction and focus, enjoying rest, music, relationships and new possibilities and then.... an exciting new addition has come along in the 7lb 2oz bundle of bouncing poo and wind. She may not thank me for that comment later :) but she is just like her dad !!

Wow she is awesome and every Daddy's Dream. Mummy Clementine has been amazing and we now have her with us as long as the Good Lord is willing.

Here's a few pic's... Enjoy...

PS. i have said this before so don't hold me to it, but i am getting my thinking hat on again so may be back very soon with some provocative messages... minus a lot of the superficial bits :)

Thursday, 11 April 2013

So i am no longer the Bournemouth Night Club Chaplain !! 5 years since my journey began in Ibiza 2008 and where am i today?? Married, Divorced... again!! Now in a relationship with a wonderful darling woman called Clementine. Just finished 4 and half year serving the Bournemouth night life community, helped over 2000 people, between myself and the volunteers i recruited. They still carry on the great work under the super star and talented DJ, Producer, Kenny Mitchell from New York City. Meanwhile i pack up my boxes move out of my flat, sell and move out of my Guildford house and jet off to Bali for 2 months !! Still trusting God to know my next steps and going to focus on djing and dance and also on community and simplicity. i will write more on this and the challenges ahead soon... in the meantime enjoy some music on my sound cloud page... https://soundcloud.com/french-mike or try this other owl city song which i think sums up my current state... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyv52lFmNQw

-Our attitudes and values determine how we behave and what choices are open to us

- Ultimately our identity (who we believe we are) determines what we choose...

Identity is such a major factor in our lives yet a lot of the time it is subconscious.We may identify with a brand or a particular band and some of these go hand in hand. We may identify with someone with particular hair, what they wear, what they care about, who they are with or where they hang out. This often gives value or meaning to us.

You may have heard the term 'identify with Christ'. Now i am not one for Jargon or religious language and at times i hear phrases like this or 'may the blood of the lamb be with you' and it means nothing. But for me this whole thing of 'identifying with Christ' has taken on huge meaning in the last 2 years. I had dreadlocks up until about then and for years felt kinda trapped with this hairstyle, i liked it, but didn't feel i could change it. But as i started to asses my values, to look at who i really was i discovered some new stuff. To identify with Christ (Jesus, the carpenter from Israel) is odd, but absolutely amazing. What it means is not only that i associate myself with him and what he did, but also take my identity from him. As i have stripped away some of the superficial and fearful things in my life i have begun to find freedom in who i really am. Believing i am created and Loved by a living God. In practice this means i wear a badge of sorts, i am branded. This doesn't always show on the outside, but it means i am secure in what i am about, why i am here and what i am here for.

i don't suppose many of you will get this totally but... i was a 'Christian' who was supposed to believe this stuff for 14 years before i have really started to get this and i still have a journey to go on. To identify means to be close to, kind of spend time with or at least have a connection that is pretty constant. I guess for me also Trust is a huge thing. i have to understand those i identify with, trust their value.

Identity is important to me because it determines where i go next, what i do, if i chose to listen to the values that go with this.

Identifying with something or someone we cant see is scary at times. What if i have it wrong??... Fear is a powerful driver... but i am excited about the mystery, enchanted by the hugeness of the creator and the loving way He interacts with me.

i feel at peace...hope you can find peace in who you are ( i believe you are a loved creation)...

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

i am not even sure you will still be looking or even know i still exist, but i am here in my silence. a few things God has been making me aware of latley is my need for stillness and also that i can turn my thinking off at times... so this is kinda what i have been doing.. where my thoughts have raced and i could easily have written on 'dehumanisation' or 'fresh expressions of church' or 'why doesnt God listen to us' etc i have decided to relax a while with my thoughts and give myself a chance to catch up. I am currently reading 'The Power of Now'. A very spiritual and deep book about human insessant thinking and the need to find the person underneath the mind. I am in a process of 'observing my thinker' to see what i make of him.. and i when i decide i will let you know. what i am aware of is that 'I' dont always agree with 'myself'. 'I' can be very negative and narrow and impatient and maybe that is not me, but a conditioned me that needs some working with?? like i said i will let you know... maybe watch yours.. dont be critical, just watch.. apparently a gap will appear and in that gap a chance for peace may come. i have enjoyed switching my mind off now and again. Learning to control it, rather than it dominating me.

well i am off to Mozambique for 3 weeks with the lovley Jodun ( in fact she is already there suning herself for the past 2 weeks) i have to find her and catch up fast.. hope to see some of you over the festive season..

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Readings - Jeremiah 23 vs 1-6 , Ephesians 2 vs 11-22, Mark 6 vs 30-34 (look up on google for ease sake :)Todays readings are all been about tending, rleating and helping those out there. Massively tired and hungry with only 5 loaves between 12 or more already waiting ages to eat and sleep, Jesus pushes further.

In jeremiah the call to care for people and not scare them off.

In Ephesians the reminder of the outsiders (Gentiles) who are now welcome, breaking down the barriers and walls between us in here and them out there.

As you will know I work in the night scene of Bomo. Every weekend we walk the streets and chat with people offering support kindness and service with no strings attached.

We met a girl out the other week who at first didn’t want to talk. She asked if we were gonna try and convert her, she said we wouldn’t like her because she was BAD. . Before long she opened up and shared that she gave herself to a lot of guys. I asked why and it transpired that she didn’t like herself very much and didn’t value herself. She felt alone and it was a way of her feeling a connection. She ended up writing a prayer card saying sorry for some horrible things she had done wrong.

In the book….sex God…Rob Bell says

‘we struggle with connection in the earth and connection with others and with ourselves… we feel connected with people we are having experiences with.’

Why are people escaping so much into alcohol, drugs and sex. I am not going to talk about that too much today but more the underlying fundamental reasons as I think they relate to us too.

Feeling disconnected is something we all feel daily as part of the fall of mankind. Disconnection happened in the Garden of Eden. The sense of shame hiding and loneliness.Fear of vulnerability being open with others…To get back to nakedness we have to go in reverse… have to overcome shame..

We tell ourselves we are not good enough, not holy enough, God qulaifies us we dont have to come perfect...

Deeper disconnection in us leads to a deeper need to express things to others, this can be immensely damaging and comes out in all kinds of behaviour.

Whether a‘Concert, church service or rally… its about the moment of connection …that is our natural state.’ Being together, being connected.

This is what I feel in a Night club with others

What are the Barriers to intimacy and connection??

Disconnected with ourselves… and God

I think in my life and role lately I have been feeling very busy and even overwhelmed at times. This has led to a feeling of isolation even in my close relationships.

Busyness is an evil because it moves us away from peace with God. We focus so much on something that we lose sight of the moment. We can only stay connected if we remain in the moment. (Doesnt mean life cant be full, but not controlling us and distracting us from whats important).

I Started doing Yoga and Pilates the past two weeks as I cant find time or discipline myself to stop and relax.

That disconnection leads me to be disconnected to God.

Mark 6 v 30-34 - 'Come away to deserted place and rest a while'… Jesus acknowledges the need for escape and rest.

But I guess he also says our primary concern is connection with each other and God. Shutting others out is not something he ever advocates no matter how tired/stressed we are. How many of us shut others out when we feel tired???

Staying connected to others is what God has called us to. Living in common unity together.

So How do we reconnect???

Sometimes it takes one person or one moment to respond in a certain way. Like if one wants to strip and run into the sea… someones gotta do it first…be bold take the plunge kinda moment… sometimes discipline of...

Stopping to find rest, change of pace.

With others it may take a change in Perceived difference (circumcision group in ephesians) change our attitudes not shut people out.Jesus came to reunite people to each other and God…

I cant say it better than Jesus so …ConnectingJohn 15

1Jesus said to his disciples:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts away every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit. But he trims clean every branch that does produce fruit, so that it will produce even more fruit. 3You are already clean because of what I have said to you.

4Stay joined to me, and I will stay joined to you. Just as a branch cannot produce fruit unless it stays joined to the vine, you cannot produce fruit unless you stay joined to me. 5I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you stay joined to me, and I stay joined to you, then you will produce lots of fruit. But you cannot do anything without me. 6If you don't stay joined to me, you will be thrown away. You will be like dry branches that are gathered up and burned in a fire.

7Stay joined to me and let my teachings become part of you. Then you can pray for whatever you want, and your prayer will be answered. 8When you become fruitful disciples of mine, my Father will be honoured. 9I have loved you, just as my Father has loved me. So remain faithful to my love for you. 10If you obey me, I will keep loving you, just as my Father keeps loving me, because I have obeyed him.

11I have told you this to make you as completely happy as I am. 12Now I tell you to love each other, as I have loved you. 13The greatest way to show love for friends is to die for them. 14And you are my friends, if you obey me. 15Servants don't know what their master is doing, and so I don't speak to you as my servants. I speak to you as my friends, and I have told you everything that my Father has told me.

16You did not choose me. I chose you and sent you out to produce fruit, the kind of fruit that will last. Then my Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. [a] 17So I command you to love each other.

Sex God…

‘You cant be connected to God until you are at peace with who you are. If you are still upset that God gave you this life this body or this family or these circumstances you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy thriving or sustainable sort of way, you will be at odds with your maker. If you cant come to terms with who you are and the life you have been given you will never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they have been given. Until you are at peace with God and those around you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect. ‘

If you have a good relationship with God you can connect with others easily.

Point 1. we need to connect with God each other and the worldPoint 2- we need to make space for this to happen, distractions rob us of this.Point 3- we cant do anything worthwhile unless we are connected to God and each other.

Poem- Walls….

The walls are coming down,Sometimes they crumble,Sometimes they tumble,sometimes brick by brick they descendTime needed, time takenExposed to the elements,Their value found in their vulnerability,Deconstruction leads to reconstructionA clearer view to be had, of simplicity, purity and truthThe walls are coming down as the sun rises illuminating proof.

By Jodun Dunseath (my clever and beautiful girlfriend)

Prayer

Lord God it is easy for us to judge each other and more so those that don’t know you. Merciful God know that in our weakness we search for ways to reconnect. Help us to find healthy ways to connect and remain joined with you and each other. Thanks.

About Me

well i very much believe we are all on a journey, all have a story to tell. My life is pretty interesting right now so felt a blog is a good way to go. I am 35, a christian, worked in ibiza helping the wasted for 3 months. Now in Bournemouth in a role as a Night club chaplain. I have a lovely girlfriend, a house and no kids, the fish i had has now died :(
My blog will get you up to date with my thoughts and current life style. I will try and vary my entries so you don't get bored and add some pics at some point. I want my blog to be interesting but am also using it to put some thoughts to paper. feel free to skip the thought of the day bit if you like as thinking sometimes hurts... so here goes, happy reading and feed back if you get bored :)