Thursday, September 27, 2012

Light

My health "issues" have run the gamut the past couple of years. There is one thing in play with every single one of my perceived health "issues": STRESS.

My college swim coach had a good friend/mentor who coached at Texas Tech (I think...) The friend worked very hard to work her way up in athletics at a time when women were almost non-existent in any sports. She was single, never had kids and worked all the time. This was a woman committed to athletics and health. She was very fit; she worked out (a runner maybe?) and ate healthy. It was not like she just worked and never took care of herself. But she lived a life filled with stress in the name of her career. This friend had breast cancer (that she battled and won) TWICE and she was undergoing treatment for a brain tumor at that time.

Now the thing is she might have had all of these health issues with or without the stress but even my coach at the time implied that all of her focused stressful work to climb a latter in a male dominated world probably contributed to her health issues. I am firm believer for good and bad that we hear stories or meet people or go places in our lives for a particular reason. Unless we are open to the story/person/place, we do not learn. I always try to be open and if I am not open at the time I usually find my way back to the reason behind something eventually. My memory is long and deep! This story of severity opened my eyes at a relatively young age to the knowledge that if I do not give myself a chance to deal with my stress/anxiety/depression, if I do not give it a voice it will overpower me in ways I do not want. However, eye opening and being mindful and aware all the time is two entirely different things.

I feel like this newest issue, GERD, and the early tooth decay that is it causing is like a warning call. Like my coach is sitting next to me telling me this woman's story all over again. WAKE UP. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. BE GRATEFUL. Something I have been working on with some regularity is spending a few minutes every morning on writing down/rewriting/considering what I am most grateful for then I visualize "everything I want in my life as if I had it today". It does wonders for me, it is calming, and it is such a transformative way to start the day (at work but also at home.) Here is what I have down for today:

I am grateful for this happy amazing life I never imagined I could have that I have worked had to build.

I am grateful for health. It is scary to think of the alternatives which I have lately and I know that I need to take this health thing seriously and be good to myself or else I am standing on dangerously steep slope. If my health is poor, then my family will suffer and as you can see I am very grateful for them.

I am grateful for my special time with Missy on Mondays. I am working on taking full advantage of that time, being more mindful with my time with her.

I am grateful for M Bug – he makes me humble. He reminds me that I need to work on being a better human being every day.

I am grateful for my job and the flexibility it allows me to live the life I want.

I am grateful for faith and light in my life.

I am blessed with a son who is bright, smart as a whip and funny as can be and a daughter who truly just is a light when I am feeling dark, such a happy little soul.

I am grateful for K – he is my rock, he is hard working and the light to my dark.

I am grateful that I found my way in life.

I am grateful for my Dad’s work ethic.

I am grateful that I am working today this moment on taking care of myself.

I am grateful for summer into fall; my gratitude for nature is deep.

I feel lucky to be on this earth, happy and healthy, today.

I know it somewhat cheesy and first few times I tried this I was like OH COME ONNNN hurry it up and get to work. But the days I have focused and been grateful from my heart has been so rewarding. Lighter and happier and, well, grateful. I refuse to succumb to the hand I was dealt. I would rather live and be cheesy and grateful (Ha, cheese, grate...) than to slowly do harm to myself and be so blatantly unaware of it. No job, no moment in life, really there is not much is worth that kind of thing.

I love me some Pinterest and two of my favorite quotes follow:
She stood in the storm & when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. ~Elizabeth Edwards
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air... ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonWAKE UP. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. BE GRATEFUL.

About Me

Bug #1: M Bug

He is a character - he loves to tell jokes and dance around like a goofball shaking his rump!

Hanging with his buddies

Playing computer games and board games - he is fiercely competitive

He will sit down and read a book cover to cover as quickly as possible

His fear of storms is still a huge part of our lives - he's a worrier

BUT he kind of loves the weather and science

School - he really loves school; his teachers have all told me if they could have a classroom filled with kids like him their jobs would be easy!

Bug #2: Missy

She is eight!

She is in grade three

Anything M Bug is doing much to his annoyance

She is a crafty artsy little soul - she will draw pictures and wants to write stories out of the blue

She will wear a dress while playing basketball with scrapes on her knees and a bow in her hair - a girl after my own heart!Sports include softball and hockey

She is a Girl Scout and proud of it!

She is tough as nails when she needs to be

She loves to be the absolute center of attention giggling and grinningGirl has a wicked smile and lights up a room with her giggleShe is ALL fiery red head!She is hard headed and won't kindly accept help and yet in the same breath she can be as sweet as can be

She's a talker - I have no idea where she gets that from...

Lucy and Bolt

They are DOGS of our house. Lucy is an 13 year old black & white mutt lab terrier (WHAT?!) mix that we rescued from the pound when we first moved into town. She is the sweetest most kindest dog I have ever known in my entire life.

Bolt's age is sort up in the air. Let's say 8-ish?? He is a terrier mix (Chihuahua maybe?) that we brought home from the same pound just about two years ago. He looks a lot like a JRT and acts like one too. He is mostly white with some black and tan. He thinks he rules the house but little does he know Queen Lucy is in charge. That crazy guy sleeps like a human with his head on a pillow and the covers pulled to his chin (no shit!) and talks to us when he wants to eat - woof, growl woof ;) He's filled the spot in our hearts that sweet Santana left when he died and we could not be happier he came to live in our home with us!