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January 02, 2012

Today’s photo is brought to you by my on again off again relationship with the grande mocha. Last year I gave it up on several occasions…only to pick it up again each time. I enjoy the grande mocha, I enjoy it even when it is non-fat, no whip, but I especially enjoy it when my husband delivers it to me and gets the full yummy version., which is what has been happening for the last week of vacation. Thanks honey!

However, the grande mocha with or without its fatty goodness, is not a part of the life I have planned for myself this year. I know that when I’m off of “the sauce” I have much more energy overall, and it saves on calories, money and time…all three of which I can ill afford to waste.

So I’m giving it up once again…and I’m not looking forward to the headache or the extra bitchy mood…but I’ll be happy about it in a few days.

December 01, 2011

So I didn't complete 30 days of gratitude here, but I was grateful for 30 days...still am. I'm trying another photo-a-day project called picture the holidays. Today's prompt was "holding on to gratitude" so I get to be grateful for another day.

Dec 1- "Holding onto gratitude"- for a workout I love, this place where I feel strong, and this teacher who has taught me so much more than a right hook.

November 28, 2011

So I've been meaning to post photos of the great kitchen re-do of 2010 for ...well...for a year. But after the last week of cooking and entertaining, I can wait no longer. I love this kitchen...I love the colors, it is everything I wanted it to be...and this past week it was full of ingredients and messes and most of all love and laughter. Photos of the Thanksgiving holiday are in the works...but finally, the before and after of the kitchen.

So...obviously, we painted the cabinets and replaced the hardware...we also painted the whole house (and by "we" I mean Matt!). One of my favorite things in the whole house is the chalkboard pantry door that Matt made. The paint is all Mythic and the knobs are from Anthropologie.

November 04, 2011

Found this as I was going through the shots from my special needs school shoot yesterday. The owner of these chucks was one of the toughest kids to photograph this year. She is beautiful ...but she likes to be on the move...and while I don't think she is really sad...her face and her voice seemed pretty sad when it came time for photos. The first time in particular she seemed tortured to be there…and she was having none of it. We agreed to give her a break and try again. The second time, she seemed mildly less upset to be there, but hardly thrilled...we tried walking her around and trying to grab a shot as she crossed in front of the backdrop, but it didn't work out. So off they went again. The third time, the staff member with her brought many of her favorite things, and her favorite chair and she was the only one in the room...better yet, I had no one after her so we just let her "be" we didn't try to make her smile, we just hung out. She was amazing. Don’t get me wrong, she was still a mover and not at all interested in me or my stupid camera, but she was calm...and happy...and that made me calm and happy. I captured images of her beautiful face that are quite possibly some of my favorite photos I've ever taken. (I'm not going to share them here without permission from her parents). But while we were hanging out I couldn't help but grab a shot of those purple Chucks and her cute flower jeans. Today I am grateful those split second moments of connection and the power of photography to harness them.

November 02, 2011

Feeling grateful that my nephew loves to come to my house. I know all to well that there are few places in this world where he can just BE...where no one is trying to make him fit into any preconceived boxes. My house is one of those places...evidenced by his visit today, where he had been here 5 minutes and was suddenly missing. Upon a quick search we found clothes strewn from the guest bathroom to the master bath, and a happy boy lounging comfortably in the tub.

November 01, 2011

Yes...I'm participating in the 30 days of Gratitude thing...such a great reminder...and a good excuse to blog some again.

Today as I worked on shooting school photos for my nephew's special needs school, I looked over at the stage and a little girl that I had just photographed was dancing. I had already admired her outfit...but watching her twirl that skirt was such a beautiful thing....I had to sneak a quick photo. I knew immediately that it would be the perfect shot for this project today. I am always and forever will be grateful for this school, where the staff is so amazing, and where kids that could be described as challenging, are loved and celebrated...and where a little girl who couldn't communicate with me in the usual ways, could twirl her cheetah skirt and giggle on a stage decorated with Popsicle stick flower art.

So I have to blog about Third Grade. After all, he will only (God willing) have a first day of 3rd grade once!

Tucked away in the way too many personal photographs that I take but do nothing with, were the traditional first day of school photos that I did manage to take that morning.

I didn't get any photos of him walking to school, because he is way too cool to have his Mom busting out the camera at the school path. I look at these photos and can hardly believe how grown up he is. We all know that he has seemed "grown up" since he was a peanut...and in many ways he is still a peanut...but he really is changing so much. I knew this, but going back through the blog archives to find the other "first day of school" photos really brought it home for me. Made me realize how important documenting everything really is...made me wince a little bit because I miss that 3 year old, and that 5 year old...made me smile too. Reminded me I should write about how much I adore this 8.5 year old...how much fun he is and honestly,that I just think he is freaking amazing.

So here he is on the first day of 3rd grade. I'm so mad at myself that I didn't get his shoes in the photos, because Lord knows my boy loves his shoes and they are a very particular part of any ensemble...but still, I love that he picked out his shirt, love that he is wearing his watch, and that he "gooped" his own hair...and that he was excited and ready to get to school.

About a week after this we went to "back to school night" and I am very excited about Todd's teacher this year. I think it is going to be a great year for him. I was also thrilled to see little pieces of him in the classroom...and which things he is choosing to share. I loved that I could whip out my iphone and grab some shots around the classroom...I find myself using my phone to grab photos so often and I love it. For example, they were able to decorate their names for their desk and I thought the fact that Todd put "jiu jitsu rocks" on his nameplate was awesome.

I also loved that he wants to improve his penmanship...because that is a Mommy pet peeve...and that his silver medal from Jiu Jitsu back in April (which I also missed blogging about...ugh) is so important to him.

One of my favorite things was this little number...now I know why he asked me if I thought it was ok to use "dude" as an adjective...since I use "dude" for so many many things, I said yes...clearly he went with it...

And finally...the greatest thing...his Summer Memory. He was so excited for us to see it because he worked very hard on it, and on his penmanship. Love it. Once I got past his intitial dissapointment that he didn't have any big trips to foreign lands to report on, or anything "really amazing" to report on. He decided to settle on a random day with Matt. He considered other options like the Giants game etc. but he felt like he had "more details" to share about this particular day. I literally guffawed outloud when I read the sentence about the funeral.

I love that in the end it was a simple little morning with Matt that meant the most to him...love it more than I can find words to say. Love that it is yet another reminder to me to document and remember the little things my little family is up to without giving a crap about any of the crap that keeps me from writing it all down here.

And now, speaking of school, it is my favorite part of the day...the part where school gets out, and I get to go wait for this beautiful boy to come bounding down the path...

June 13, 2011

Today is his birthday...which all by itself would warrant a post about how amazing he is, and about how much I love him. He is amazing...the best dad anyone could ever ask for...and I do love him, more than I can really say.

I could share pages on all that he has taught me...from how to swing a baseball bat or throw a punch, to how to see more than one side to every story, and more than one way to skin a cat.

But lately I've been thinking about how he has taught me to be positive, and strong, and to trust myself that I can handle just about anything.

5 days ago my dad had brain surgery....9 days from now he will have another brain surgery. Tonight we sat around a restaurant table and giggled as a family.

A few years ago my dad was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease. As an FYI, Parkinsons pretty much sucks. My Dad however doesn't complain. He's a do-er...he is a suck it up and do what needs to be done guy. He still works harder than anyone his age...he still works on the boat, puts in hours on end in rough weather...all of that crazy shit that he's done his whole life. He just gets up a little bit earlier to get ready now because Parkinsons makes moving around harder than it used to be. He still hunts for fun and manages to steady himself and maintain a pretty good aim for a guy that shakes pretty much all of the time.

We've all gotten used to the shaking, accepted the diagnosis...followed his brave lead into "not going to let it get me down" mode. But as I mentioned...Parkinsons still sucks.

So last year, when my Dad had a chance encounter, in a most unlikely place with someone he could relate to that was just a couple of weeks pre-surgery to treat Parkinsons symptoms...he was intrigued. When he saw this person again post-surgery, he was inspired.

Pretty quickly we were all heading down this surgery road. It has been lots of appointments and testing and on and on, but now almost 6 months later the surgery date was finally here last week.

It was more scared than I care to admit...but it went remarkably well. As per usual, my dad just did what needed to be done...his attitude has been a mix of optimism, resignation and faith... and he is doing so well, I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes.

Tonight we were talking about how even though the surgery isn't complete yet, that something has changed. I don't know if it is physical or if it is something else. The thing is, I could feel it not just in him, but all the way around the table, so I think it is more than physical. None of us want to think about it too much, because we still have to do this thing again in 9 days (not that I'm counting). Somehow though, I feel like it is quite possibly better than any birthday present we could wrap up...I think it might just be hope...and that is a pretty beautiful thing.

Happy Birthday Dad....I love you more than you could ever know. But no matter how much I love you, I will continue to be the hard ass when it comes to what you are allowed to do while you recover! Sorry...you taught me way to well on that one too!

June 06, 2011

I happen to be very lucky to have an uncle with season tickets to some of the greatest seats in Pac Bell Park. Here is my mom sharing just how great those seats are....

Earlier this week we got "the call" that the tickets were available. The tickets were actually given to Todd, I'm just pretty lucky that he picked me and Matt and my mom to go along with him!!

So there was supposedly a chance of rain and blah blah blah, but we didn't really mind. I love going to the park and this day was no exception. The thing was though, I considered not bringing my camera. What? Yes...I thought about leaving it home, just using the iphone etc. But at the last minute I decided to put it in the bag, and as soon as we walked in, I was SO glad I did.

I did not put that camera down for a single inning...I shot everything...I let go and had FUN WITH MY CAMERA...I saw things I wouldn't have seen without the lens to see it through! I captured the joy that it was to experience a game with an 8 1/2 year old boy that I love more than life itself. A boy that tried to take advantage of our close to the dugout seats to get some autographs....

He didn't manage to get any...but he was damn cute trying...and not at all shy...my favorite quote "Hey Eli...I have a blank ball here...can you sign it?"

He also got a game ball...again! SO very cool. Aubrey Huff was coming back into the dugout and Matt held Todd up with his glove...Aubrey tossed it right to Todd. He was just about to catch it when another glove popped up from the side and grabbed it right out of his glove. It was the very nice man sitting next to Matt who appologized profusely because he didn't realize Todd was about to catch it and that he snagged it. He gave it to Todd immediately...and Todd was so excited. It was magic!

For a lot of the game there wasn't too much to cheer about. Low score, great pitching...but then it got exciting....and I turned the camera on my boys and held down the shutter....this is what baseball is about for me...this is what life is about for me....this is my joy...right here...

This is the best reminder of what my camera is for...yes it is my business...and yes it is a craft that requires honing, and all of that. But it is a magical thing to be able to freeze a moment, a moment that I can look at and hear the cheering crowd, that magic is why I started loving photography in the first place.

That joy...

Sigh....

It was also quite fun to try and photograph the players...we were SO close and I feel like after watching so many games for so many years, I feel like I "know" them. I wanted to photograph their faces...I would have killed for one of those press pass stickers that I saw walking around that dugout...(and some of that camera equipment too) but I was pretty happy with the shots that I got...

of Brandon Belt

and Madison Bumgartner

and Pat Burrell

and one of my favorite players...Nate Schierholtz...who was slightly elusive...

Not so elusive was Pablo Sandoval, who was not playing (almost back from injury). He gave Todd a thumbs up when he saw that he was wearing a Sandoval jersey. So Fun!

I really wanted to get a good shot of new guy Brandon Crawford...he never looked at the crowd...which actually made me love him even a little bit more...

And, how much do we all love Cody Ross? Seriously...

And Cody, Huff and Burrell having a chat? Priceless...

I took a lot of action shots too...especially of Ryan Vogelsong's amazing pitching of the day...loving this kid...so good...

And my cutie patooties, Nate and Brandon batting....(to show Todd how great their stances are, of course!)

and I can't forget Andres Torres and Miguel Tejada...even though I've always loved one and am trying really hard to love the other...Miggy did gain some points with me on this day...

And how to you go to a Giants game without a little Brian Wilson, fear the beard experience?

And I couldn't forget the skipper...

And I will finish this epic post as it began...it was a perfect Sunday...my team....my family...my camera...and my generous Uncle Dan! High fives all around!