Saturday, October 26, 2013

Misfits Season Five, Episode One

Alex is being wheeled to recovery after his lung transplant, as a young woman looks through various medical charts and vigorously searches for someone. When Alex arrives, the young woman asks him how he is and says that they need to have sex. A nurse appears and drags the woman away, as she yells that Alex has to fuck her.

At the community center, Jess gets off the phone and announces that Alex is out of surgery is going to be just fine. Jess learns that not only did Finn bet that Alex would die but that he said it would be funny if "they chopped his cock of during the operation." Finn says that he is glad that Alex didn't die but Alex's cheating heart cannot be replaced.

Inside the community center, Rudy is excited to see scouts. Jess is shocked to find out that Rudy was once a scout. Rudy does reveals that he was thrown out but says that a scout is meant to walk an impossible line. Of course, Rudy uses this as an opportunity to talk about penises. Is there any subject that he cannot relate to a penis? A female scout leaves the room and Rudy calls her a tramp. When she walks away, Rudy tells Finn that he should be ashamed for talking to her.

At the hospital, Alex is told that he has a visitor. It turns out to be Rudy. Alex asks how Jess is and Rudy jokes and says that she is dead. Alex wonders if Jess hates his guts and Rudy suggests that no one can understand the mind of a woman. The woman who begged Alex to sleep with her has returned and she is eavesdropping on Alex's conversation with Rudy.

Later that night, Finn is at the center when he is approached by the female scout. They sit down and chat and Finn asks about her various badges. The scout claims to have a badge for fucking and asks if Finn has ever fucked a scout before. Finn is now in his underwear and she asks permission to tie him up. Finn answers that he hates to be like his dad but wants to know if she is over 16. Once Finn is all tied up, he is ordered to lie down and the scout calls out, "he's ready." The other scouts appear and the girl informs Finn that he is going to become one of them. When Finn questions whether they want him to be a scout, he is informed that he will become an agent of Satan by the troop leader. The scouts pull out a chicken, as Finn argues that he is shit and will make a terrible agent of Satan. The scouts start the ceremony and kill the chicken. Finn uses his telekinesis to force a knife through the scout leader's cheek and takes of running.

Rudy, Jess and Abbey are at the bar and Rudy reveals that he has been to visit Alex. Abbey suggests that since Alex saved Jess's life that they are even for Alex cheating on her. Finn comes rushing in, still tied up and covered with blood. Rudy suggests that Finn has been busy sucking himself off and accidentally bit the tip off of his penis. Okay, I suggest every time Rudy says something about a penis we all take one drink.

The next day, at the community center, the scouts are gathered and singing Oasis's Wonderwall, as Rudy looks on and sings along. Jess says that the scouts don't look like agents of Satan but Finn points out that agents of Satan never look like agents of Satan. Finn wonders whether Jess thinks this all a desperate cry for attention. Greg gets in Finn's face and asks if he was been running an illegal slaughter house in the community center. Finn swears that he hasn't.

Alex is back home when the woman from the hospital rings the doorbell and admits to following him home. Alex asks her to leave and the door slams on her hand. Inside the apartment, the woman reveals that her power is to cause accidents and Neil (the man who used to have Alex's new lung) said that he could fuck powers out of people and had promised to fuck the power out of the woman. Alex believes that Neil was just running a scam but the woman reveals that she has spoken to people that Neil helped. Alex asks if Jess put the woman up to this as a test and says that this is not going to happen. The woman stands up, unbuttons her shirt and shows Alex all of the scares on her body that her power has caused. She offers to pay Alex, when there is a knock on the door. It turns out it's Jess and she starts on a rant about Alex's cheating. Alex asks for a moment but then Jess catches sight of the woman in his apartment she takes off.

Back at the community center, Finn is in bathroom when the Scout leader appears. The scout leader tells Finn he no longer has to be worried about being turned into an agent of Satan because he intends to rip out Finn's heart. Finn calls for Rudy but no one answers. The leader's eyes goes red, as Finn attempts to use his power to fling a fire extinguisher. Finn's power lets him down again and he ends up tossing a bar of soap. The leader slips on the soap and cracks his head. When Finn approaches to gloat, the leader grabs him says a spell, releasing black insect like things, which fly directly into Finn's mouth. Abbey and Rudy enter and of course are nonplussed to find yet another dead body in the community center. Finn says that he told them that the scout leader was an agent of Satan. Abbey and Rudy head off to get shovels to bury the scout leader. When Finn looks in the mirror, his eyes go red.

Rudy 1 is dressed in his childhood scout uniform when Rudy2 enters. Rudy2 hands Rudy1 a flier advertising a support group for people with powers and suggests that they should attend. Rudy1 is resistant but Rudy2 thinks that they should talk about their future together.

The misfits are at the bar and Rudy comments on how well Finn is doing with women. Alex enters and explains that he didn't shag the woman in his apartment and asks if he and Jess can go somewhere else. Finn walks over and asks what is going on, and Jess says that she found Alex shagging another girl. Alex asks if he supposed to be scared, so Finn breaks a beer bottle over the bar, bends Alex over and holds the broken bottle to Alex's neck. His eyes flash red, as Jess asks Finn to let Alex go. Finn tells Jess that Alex will always shit on her because that is who he is and Alex walks out of the bar. Outside, the woman calls to Alex and he watches she is hit by a car.

Back at the community center, Jess tells Rudy that there is something wrong with Finn. Rudy says that he talked to him but reveals that he actually learned nothing.

Rudy2 has made his way to the meeting room. Long time viewers of the show should have recognized a character who sees people as video game characters. Rudy 2 introduces himself as the living embodiment of a split personality disorder.

Alex has gone to see the woman at the hospital and says that he doesn't know if he has Neil's power and asks if they have to have full sex. Alex is worried about hurting her but she says that this is a chance for Alex to use his cock for good. Alex pulls the curtains around the bed and climbs on top of the woman. They start to have sex and the woman asks about Jess and why Alex cheated. When Alex says that he can't do this, the woman begs him to continue. Alex continues on until something comes over him and a ray of light appears.

Back at the community center, Finn sharpens his knife in a room filled with chicken cages. Finn goes to get Rudy and tells him that he has a surprise for him. Finn ties Rudy up and places him into a pentagram surrounded by candles. Finn starts the spell and then cuts a chicken's throat, covering Rudy with blood.

Jess walks into Finn's room and finds a book with a pentagram on the cover and a drawing of the devil on the inside. When Abbey walks into the room, Jess tells her that Finn is an agent of the devil. Abbey says that Finn is too short to be the devil. Jess notices that Abbey is bleeding and Abbey claims to have her period. When Jess asks what Abbey has behind her back, Abbey reveals a dead chicken, causing Jess to realise that Abbey has become one of them. Jess runs away but doesn't get far before being confronted by Finn. Jess takes off running again.

A woman is knitting a sweater.

Jess knocks on Alex's door and he says that he hasn't had sex with anyone. Jess tells him that the world does not revolve around his cock. After telling her story, Alex offers to let Jess stay with him tonight but she says that her friends have been turned into agents of Satan. The doorbell rings and Rudy2 says that Rudy1 has been changed into an agent of Satan. Rudy2 says that in Finn's book, the only way to drive Satan out is to douse him in holy water. Alex asks if they want his help when Rudy2 reveals that Finn and Rudy1 are going to be at the bar tonight.

Alex hands Jess a gun and she heads into the club where Finn and Rudy1 are hanging out. When Finn sees Jess, he pushes the woman next him away and walks right up to her. They head over to the bar and Jess splashes him with the holy water. Finn grabs the bottle and Jess pulls out the gun, ordering everyone to stay back. Jess reads off the payer she was given but it has no effect on Finn. Jess tells Finn that this isn't him but Finn says that he is just improved. Finn threatens to cut off Alex's cock and feed it to him. When Jess pulls the trigger on the gun, she finds out that it's not loaded, as Finn's eyes go red. Rudy2 and Alex are sneaking outside of the club when Rudy2 attacks Alex, revealing that he is also an agent. Alex easily fights him off and takes off.

The next morning at the community center, Alex breaks in as Greg watches from his car. Finn leads Jess into a room with a bed, flower and candles. Finn tells Jess that he loves her and that now he is going to fuck her and make her a bride of Satan. Alex appears behind Finn and knocks him out with a baseball bat. With Jess all tied up and Finn lying on the bed on his stomach, Alex says to Jess that he is doing this for her. Alex penetrates Finn and reveals that he has the power to fuck powers out of people. Alex gags and says that he is using his cock for good and once again the flashing light goes off. Finn awakes to find Alex on top of him, as Greg enters the room. Greg leaves and sits in the hallway with tears in his eyes.

Rudy2 is collecting chairs from the support group meeting when a woman hands him a sweater saying that she knits the future. Back at the community center, Alex reveals that he got community serivice for breaking and entering. Finn suggests everyone should brush what happened under the carpet. Jess asks why Finn still has his telekinesis and Finn replies, "first in, first out." Of course, Rudy adds in his sphincter.

Rudy2 is now wearing the prophetic sweater.

Can I just say that Misfits has long outlived its entertainment value; it's the classic example of a show that has gone on for far too long. I can't even tell you what this episode was about, except for infantile nonsense. I want the time I spent writing this up and watching this bloody episode back.

Alex using his "cock for good," amounted to the rape of Finn and in true Misfits fashion, of course it was for Finn's own good. It's rape apologism, pure and simple. I was particularly disgusted with Greg's sadness at walking in on this act. WTH? Greg is the only actual GLBT character on the show and of course he is loveless and made teary eyed by walking in on what he thinks is a consensual sex act between two men. I don't even have the words to condemn them.

I get that Rudy is meant to be comic relief but he is ridiculous and irritating. How many times can he bring up penises and oral sex? I know that Rudy2 is supposed to add nuance to this character but he is completely overwhelmed be the infantile behaviour and language of Rudy1.

Well, this makes one episode down and seven to go. At this point anything good about Misfits has long since disappeared and I cannot wait for the death knell to ring.