"When I went to the chainsaw store I saw someone with real bubble gum." "There's a wolf in my tummy and a porcupine in my bum." "I don't care about time outs. I only care about my life." Preschool teacher Leslie McCollom created the PreschoolGems Twitter feed because such jewels of youthful quippage were slipping through her fingers every day. She became a covert anthropologist in the underground world of small children, and here collects such sweet, sinister, and naively sincere bon mots as: "I'm feeling poisonous, baby kitty"; "I love David Bowie. I'm going to marry David Bowie"; and, "OK, but I'm still a dragon."