According to my sources, it was the 4th annual Critics’ Choice Television Awards last night, but I don’t really blame you if you missed it, considering the collection of “talent” they got to show up. I mean, where was Sofia Vergara, or my all-time favorite TV booty Maria Menounos? Instead, I’ve got to give out our coveted Best Funbags award to Michelle Trachtenberg, pretty much by default. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still happy to invite Michelle over for a celebratory motorboat, I just hope there’s a little more to choose from next year.

I don't do many post on Michelle Trachtenberg because I don't normally find her all that attractive, but there's something about these pictures of her on the cover of Complex magazine that's making my one eyed trouser trout poke it's head to the surface. Maybe it's because with the blindfold on I don't really know who she is and the anticipation is exciting. Who are we kidding? It's the boobs. Enjoy.
You can watch the video

I’m a little confused about what’s going on in these pictures so bare with me, If I’m seeing this correctly Michelle Trachtenberg the frail, ghostly, nonathletic actress is helping launch the new Reebok Flash sneaker. I don’t get it, that’s like having Shaquille O’Neal launch feminine hygiene products or me promoting a real job.

I thought little girls possessed by the devil, who then proceed to spin their heads around 360 degrees are supposed to be hideous looking? Well that’s what I learned from watching the Exorcist. Anyway, I guess I’m wrong, because Michelle Trachtenberg is anything but hideous. Her freaky neck bending abilities on the other hand, are. I swear I don’t know if she’s walking away from the camera or approaching it. This may be the weirdest pic of a celeb I’ve put up in the 2 years we’ve been in business. At least you know that any sexual position she partakes in, she can do it face to face – and I mean any position.

Are holiday filmgoers ready to trade fuzzy fare such as “Miracle on 34th Street” for the likes of “Nightmare on Elm Street”? Backers of the R-rated “Black Christmas” are hoping ’tis the season to be scared out of your wits as they prepare to release the gory sorority-house slaughter tale on Dec. 25. Marketed with dark slogans such as “the ultimate slay ride,” the movie might be just the ticket to lure scare-happy teens against the backdrop of Halloween in October . . . but as carols play on Christmas Day? Catholic groups were outraged. “It’s not showing any sensitivity to Christians. It’s the birth of Our Lord. . . . It’s out of line,” said Kiera McCaffrey, spokeswoman for the Catholic League.Source

I’ll be the first to agree that making a Christmas themed slasher flick, and then releasing it on December 25th isn’t exactly a classy move by the film makers, so I understand the religious group’s beef. But I think if any of them knew how hot Michelle Trachtenberg looked in the movie, they’d forget all about being mad”¦.and if you believe that, you’ll also believe that Michelle and I have more than just a platonic relationship. Now can’t we all just get along? It’s Christmas! Besides, no one is going to see this movie anyhow.