Q: My wife and I have been together for 22 years. She expressed interest in being tied up. I’m not sure how to start. Any suggestions?

A: Getting tied up is a fun way to change it up in the bedroom. The first thing you need to do when using restraints is talk about the rules and boundaries. Being tied up can be fun but can also trigger uncomfortable feelings. Discuss what to do if someone is uncomfortable in the situation and develop a safe word. Then if your partner uses the safe word let them out of the restraints quickly.

Once the ground rules and boundaries are established you want to start off with basic types of restraints. These can include handcuffs with easy release button, Velcro control cuffs, or even silicone rope. These beginner type restraints allow for easy release. Please do not go to the local hardware store and buy just any type of rope or zip ties. These can be dangerous and could possibly injure your partner. The other caution is to use easy release knots. You do not want to be in an emergency situation and be unable to untie you partner.

There are many kits out there you can start with for example: The Nick Hawk Gigolo Tie Me Up & Tease Me Kit, Lover’s Super Strap Lover’s Restraint Kit, Dr. Laura Berman Mistress Kit and Nick Hawk Gigolo Locked Up & Lights Out Kit. Some of the kits also include blindfolds which can be used in conjunction with the restraints for that added excitement.

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