A blog about life, creativity, insomnia, reading, faith and the dream that someday I will change my world.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Change is coming

I found a great blog tonight called Writer's Island. It is a site for people who love to write to "congregate." Each week they issue a writing challenge or theme, and this week the theme is "Change." So I am contemplating change tonight. And you know what I discovered?

1. We all believe that change is necessary. Most of the time this applies to our spouse or our kids, though in January we attempt to change ourselves. Every night I sit here and write about how Jillian MUST change. She must go to bed earlier, or stay up on her own fearlessly. She must embrace change. And every night I sit here and think that I, too, must change. I must become more organized; I must help her become what she needs to be; I must reach out more often to my mom, or my kids, or the stranger who isn't really much of a stranger. But each night as we sit here, we don't change. It is still 3:13 as I write this. I am still disorganized and angry, and strangers have not been made into friends.

2. We also realize that change happens all around us in the physical realm. New computers come on the market (yes, I love my macbook air!!!). Buildings are built and friends move. Grocery stores restock their shelves. New jobs are created; new jobs are lost. We even look in the mirror and realize that our bodies have gone on and changed without us. How did we become this?

3. Finally, I guess I am intrigued with the fact that some people do, in fact, make decisions and change. We lose weight (over and over?), we quit smoking, we do any number of things that we purpose in our hearts to do. But through it all there is the core of us that remains unchanged. I think that core is the "eternity" that God sets in our hearts. Something inside me resists the idea that everything must change. I long for the realization that "it is good," and it will be here forever. We all do! We want our childhood blanket to always offer comfort, we want our freshly painted walls to stay bright, and we want most of all to freeze our bodies in whatever state we most fondly imagine. We want eternity.

So there are my current thoughts on change. This week my challenge is to take those thoughts and write my post for Writer's Island. I want to do this. I need to do this, because I keep saying how much I long to write and yet I never do. I want to change.