August 2015

I saw this story go by on Facebook (my news source) the other day: apparently Snoop Dogg was detained at the airport because he was carrying $422,000 in American cash. I have just, so many questions about the logistics of this situation. Let’s talk about them now.

1. Where, exactly, did Snoop Dogg’s staff obtain $422,000? It seems like that’s going to require multiple visits to several (if not many) local bank branches. Also, won’t they freeze your account if you try to make too many withdrawals? So there’s that. Just….so much paperwork.

2. Doesn’t Snoop Dogg realize that $422,000 in case is such a waste? Even in a regular savings account (which is also dumb), that many could be accruing interest at least. Hello! Snoop Dogg! Have you never heard about the magic of compounding?

3. Um…….Snoop Dogg. Friend. Homey. Even I am going to tell you that carrying that much money makes you look like you’re doing something shady. I’M SORRY.

4. Snoop Dogg. You’re in Italy. Why do you need $422,000 in American cash? There is nowhere for you to spend this.

Side note: Oh, it’s from European concerts? THEN WHY IS IT IN AMERICAN CURRENCY? I am hoping he didn’t exchange the Euros at the airport, because can you imagine the fees? Again, SUCH A WASTE.

5. Snoop Dogg had $422,000 in cash, but he doesn’t think to hire a private jet? This makes no sense to me.

6. Couldn’t you just use a credit card to get, like, whatever you want? Why does he need that much cash???

7. Isn’t that much cash SO HEAVY? Again, logistically speaking, this just seems like a pain.

8. I don’t know why I have so many objections to this concept. It seems heavy and wasteful, and therefore is absurd to me.

First, let me apologize for my lack of posting-- it appears that my Instagram has uncoupled itself from this blog again, so I'm afraid you've been missing out on my posts of weird food and misspelled signs for several months now. I'm sure you are sad, I know I am. Think of all the hilarity we've lost!

Anyhow, it is now fixed, and I wanted to tell you about this game we played at Stephan's birthday party weekend before last before the details of it slip my mind.

I think you probably know that every year now, Lay's comes up with a new batch of potato chip flavors, and everyone votes on them, and one of them is the winner and joins Lay's increasingly diverse repertoire of questionable chips. Why they don't just stick to making potato chips, I do not know.Potato chips are delicious, end of story.

So. Gross Chips Challenge. Here's how it went:

I bought all of these chips:

Let's be clear-- I did not think any of these chips were going to be remotely good, but I did suspect that other people had seen them in the store and wanted to try A CHIP, but didn't want to buy a whole bag. This turned out to be correct.

I put out four bowls, each with the bag of chips behind it (for reading and easy refills). Then I put a tally/ voting sheet at the end of the table for people to make a hash mark on when they found the flavor that truly accosted their senses. The only rule was: "if it makes you make a terrible face, that's the one."

Everyone seemed to really like this game, and the absolutely awful flavors (most of which are meat-based this year) were an excellent conversation point.

Here are the chip flavors with their respective results:

1. Biscuits and Gravy. This one got 7 votes. I found the flavor to not only be super gross, but I had to go find some water to get the slight pork aftertaste out of my mouth. Still, this one did not win my "grossest chip" award.

2. Greektown Gyros. This one was the overwhelming winner, perhaps because of its lingering lamb aftertaste. So bad, it got 15 votes and a couple of extra notes underneath for good measure. Those read:

"Yuck!"

"HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE CHIP FROM HELL"

Then someone else wrote "It was FINE" underneath that.

I really like the little argument that ensued in the comments section. Very passionate!

3. New York Reuben. I couldn't even finish eating this one once I tasted the salami flavoring. This got five votes, and one angry person wrote "WORST. I prefer the tinned wet cat food as a chip."

4. Truffle Fries. As suspected, this one got the least votes (just one), probably because it is mostly a benign, slightly salty version of a potato chip. I don't like truffle oil at all, but still, this one was the best for me. Several people commented "This one is actually good."

I really think you should do this for your next party. Just the faces people make alone is worth the price of admission. Initially I was going to say I didn't want to encourage Lay's to keep making these chips, but one bite of the gyro one is going to convince you that this is actually not a real concern.

Please, take the challenge and report back! Again, I apologize for my lengthy hiatus. I have been just super slammed with work and life, and the stop-gap I set up (amusing photos from my Instagram) malfunctioned, so I just looked like I was neglecting the Funny Strange. Not the case!!!

Links Worth Liking

Chelsea Skin & LaserMy friend and dermatologist, Dr. Michael Eidelman. If you live in or around NYC, I highly recommend him!

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