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Saturday, October 28, 2006

Staged Galindo Family Pictures ...

... in this first picture, Emerald and I had already slid down the slide and were standing up and walking toward the exit but Natasha didn't get the picture she wanted and so, pissing off the toothless carney, we sat back down and pretended that we were just finished sliding so that she could get the desired shot.

"Em, why don't you cuddle up next to the cat and pretend you're asleep? It'll be cute."

In this one I wanted to show off two year old Emerald with the cast so I made her sit up and give me a mean face like she was about to hit me with the cast like "Cowboy" Bob Orton. I was interrupting Em's 40th viewing of the episode of Gilmore Girls from season one where Rory goes to the school dance with Dean. She referred to it as the Blue Dress episode because of the color dress she was wearing, not to be confused with the White Dress episode in season two, another Emerald favorite, where Rory goes to the debutante ball.

Visiting Isabela for the first time in the Nick-You (sadly without Natasha seeing as this was about fourteen hours after the c-section), I went in with my dad who was, obviously, obsessed with taking pictures of me looking at the baby. So as I was looking at our one day old baby girl in the oxygen bubble fighting back tears, my dad would be saying things like "Stevie, get in closer" which would totally ruin the otherwise tender and heartbreaking moment for me.

"Em, go and pretend to play in that puppet playset that Tere and Pepe got you."

Emerald wanted to take pictures at Disneyland, too, so we stood there and three year old Emerald moved us around and told us how we should be. Very cute picture. This is more of a posed pictures as opposed to a staged picture but it's still awesome on account of how the picture is obviously taken by three foot tall person.

Spinal Tap, the Break Like The Wind Tour, 1993 (Yes I know they are a FAKE band but they played Mesa Amphitheater and I was there front row, and it was an awesome 3hr set with an intermission - I bought official Spinal Tap ear plugs)

Primus, the Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People Tour, 2003 (They did a full two hour set, then an intermission, then they played the Sailing The Seas Of Cheese album in its entirety)

Favorite Movies: Plan 9 from Outer Space, Wet Hot American Summer, The Avengers, The Giant Claw (amazingly horrible), Scott Pilgrim VS The World, Ed Wood, Psycho (the original and none of that other crap, oh, and also, the big end speech from the Dr. isn't in it, because that's horrible), Glen Or Glenda, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, The Three Caballeros, This Is Spinal Tap, Manos: The Hands Of Fate, A.P.E., Rock of Ages (soooooooo bad!!!), Cabin in the Woods

Favorite Avengers: Luke Cage, Spider-Man, Squirrel Girl (Great Lakes). Also, I feel the need to mention that I currently have a level 23 Thing in the online game Marvel Super Heroes. Plus, he has a sidekick. It's Spider-Ham, the pig Spider-Man. He walks around with me cracking wise and shit. It's crrrrrrrrrazy cute!

Favorite Secretary of State: Albert B. Fall

Favorite Newscaster: Sacramento News 10's smug-faced Dale Schornack, whom I repeatedly list on Facebook as my wife but he keeps denying it. You can't run from the truth forever, Dale Schornack. You can't run forever.

Favorite People To Hate: Madonna, Collyne, L. Ron Hubbard, upper middle class and upper class white people, Debby, 80% of the population of the entire state of Oklahoma, fucking Risa, Jenny McCarthy the child killer, Tom

Favorite Thing: Stuff

Favorite Way To Die: Murdered, smothered to death by gigantic sweaty breasts while watching an Ed Wood triple feature at a classic old school drive-in. Hey, a guy can dream, can't he? ... a guy can dream ...

Favorite Strange Movie Fact: In the 1962 movie "King Kong VS Godzilla" there is a character, the head of a pharmaceutical company, who is named Taco. Taco. He is named Taco. He is an Asian man who is named Taco. WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS?!?! And there's also an Asian woman in the movie named Tammy. Now this is where I draw the line. I can believe that a giant ape and a giant radioactive lizard fight on the top of Mount Fuji, but I absolutely CANNOT BELIEVE that somewhere in Japan there is an Asian chick named Tammy. My suspension of disbelief does not go that far.

Favorite Fetish: TIE between a sweaty body and boobs (various sizes)

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Rrrrrreally Good Books I've Read Recently ...

"Dead Presidents" by Brady Carlson

"Lafayette in the Somewhat United States" by Sarah Vowell

“The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute” by Zac Bissonnette.

"Silver Screen Fiend" by Patton Oswalt

"The Great Zoo of China" by Matthew Reilly

"The Disaster Artist" by Tom Bissell (the inside story of the movie THE ROOM - a MUST READ for bad movie lovers!)

"Yes Please" by Amy Poehler

"The Museum of Hoaxes" by Alex Boese

"Kids Are Weird: And Other Observations" by Jeffrey Brown"

"The Know-It-All" by A.J. Jacobs

"Game (The Game Trilogy, Book 1)" by Anders de la Motte

"A Game of Life" by Jeffrey Brown

"The Big Rewind: A Memoir Brought to You by Pop Culture" By Nathan Rabin

"The De-Textbook" by Cracked.com (rrrrrrrrrrreally makes you look at your entire existance differently)

"Cruise Confidential" by Brian David Burns

"You Don't Know Me but You Don't Like Me: Phish, Insane Clown Posse, and My Misadventures with Two of Music's Most Maligned Tribes" By Nathan Rabin (this man can do no wrong-excellent read!!!)

"Star Wars: Jedi Academy" by Jeffrey Brown

"The Leftovers" By Tom Perrotta (... I just wish the ending gave more answers, you know?)

"To Hellholes and Back" by Chuck Thompson

"The Stench of Honolulu" by Jack Handey (every paragraph is hilarious! )

"How To Live Safely In A Science Fictional Universe" by Charles Yu

"I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined)" By Chuck Klosterman (this book is the closest that Chuck Klosterman has gotten to writing a book as good as his first few books - damn good stuff!)

"Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life" by Dennis Reynolds

"Joyland" by Stephen King

"Old Man's War" by John Scalzi

"Redshirts" by John Scalzi

"NOS4A2" by Joe Hill (WOW!!!!!!!!)

"Jam" by Yahtzee Croshaw

"Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief" by Lawrence Wright (it is an absolute crime that a dangerous cult like Scientology is allowed to continue)

"The Long Earth" by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter

"America, You Sexy Bitch" by Michael Ian Black and Meghan McCain

"Amped" by Daniel H. Wilson (author of ROBOPOCALYSPE - this man can do no wrong!)

"Thank You For Smoking" by Christopher Buckley

"Here We Go Again" by Betty White

"Drop Dead Healthy" by A.J. Jacobs

"Top of the Rock: Inside The Rise and Fall Of Must See TV" by Warren Littlefield

"You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations " by Michael Ian Black

"The Incredible Change-Bots" and "The Incredible Change-Bots Two" by Jeffrey Brown

"Girl Walks Into A Bar ..." by Rachael Dratch

"Avengers Assemble: The Oral History of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes" by Brian Michael Bendis

"Emperor Mollusk VERSUS The Sinister Brain" by A. Lee Martinez

"Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die" edited by Ryan North

"A Year At The Movies" by Kevin Murphy

"Divine Misfortune" by A. Lee Martinez

"All Your Base Are Belong to Us: How Fifty Years of Videogames Conquered Pop Culture" by Harold Goldberg

"The Postmortal" by Drew Magary

"Size Matters Not" by Warrwick Davis

"The Last Testament" by God

"God If You're Not There I'm F*cked" by Darrel Hammond

"Damned" by Chuck Palahniuk

"Carrie" by Stephen King

"Unseen Academicals" by Terry Pratchett

"Snuff" by Terry Pratchett

"Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline (I don't know when the last time was that I had this much fun reading a single book - utterly amazing!)

"Shock Value: How a Few Eccentric Outsiders Gave Us Nightmares, Conquered Hollywood, and Invented Modern Horror" by Jason Zinoman