At first glance the game looked like everything I’d love. A JRPG with an epic story involving an alien invasion that places you in the role of a disciple of a God? Magical girl paladins? Yes please! However, I like to watch things more than once to make sure I don’t miss something. Had I, in fact, missed something?

….Waht R U doin, Japan?

JAPAN, STAHP!

Why must you make a game with everything I love, and then make creepy angel-fucking a central mechanic!? There’s no call for this. You could have made the exact same game while allowing the player to gift the heroines with Star God power in ways that don’t involve their uterii! But apparently that was too difficult, because what’s the point of having Star Gods and heroines if you can’t depict weirdass, unnecessary sexual themes?!

I mean, I’m going to buy the damn game, because Magical Girl. I just wish I could do it without hating myself and feeling like I need to carry it home in a plain brown envelope.