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Better to be a single mom?

All my boyfriend and I do is fight! I'm 11 wks pregnant and he doesnt seem to understand hormones or ANYTHING for that matter. We continue to fight beyond repair and at this point i'm wondering is it better to be a single mom, then have a dysfunctional home for a child?

I agree sometimes its better to be single than to raise a child in an enviorment with fighting and unhappiness. I personally would try to work things out but if I couldnt I wouldnt be afraid to walk out so my children could have a better life.

They say you shouldn't get married when you are pregnant because of your hormones your not always thinking straight. Your thinking on hormones and feelings. I think the same thing with breaking up. You should give it your best shot. And agree to not fight. When a fight starts you guys both just shut up and go to separate rooms til your cooled down.

How long have you been together and how old are you? If you are ready to end this relationship that you are bringing a baby into based on a few crappy hormone filled weeks, than I would say that the relationship clearly isn't strong enough to handle the rest of life. If you two were truly committed, a few bad hormone filled weeks wouldn't be a deal breaker, kwim?

You are having a child, I suggest you both "man-up" and figure it out. It is extremely hard to have a child under the best of circumstances with a loving partner, I would never choose to go through it alone.

"beyond repair"? I don't know what that means...but I for sure would go to couple's counseling. It is TERRIBLE to maintain an angry, upset, depressed, sad environment for baby, EVEN WHILE IN THE WOMB.

It ABSOLUTELY SUCKS being a single mom and your baby deserves to not be born into a broken home if you can at all try to prevent it.

If you have exhausted every option, then of course it's better to be single than have a hostile environment. I wish you the best of blessings and luck. I hope your baby will be born into COMPLETE JOY, as every baby deserves. :)

TLALONDE16-it acutally doesn't "ABSOLUTELY SUCK" to be a single mom. I have been both and I can tell you being a single mom is far easier than having to deal with the constant conflict in the house with the other person. I would much rather my child see both of us happy apart than miserable together.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 1:26 PM on May. 15, 2009

I have done both too..I have a 19 year old daughter and now I am married with a 12 month old son. Perhaps when comparing single parenthood to miserable marriage, single parenthood wins (I agree that it would), but when comparing single parenthood to happy/healthy marriage, single parenthood ABSOLUTELY LOSES, by FAR. BUT my experience began when I was 16 years old...so maybe I am too biased because it was extremely difficult. It is SO JOYOUS for me now. I wish for every person to experience this stress free joy when they have a baby.

At any rate, you missed what I said in my last sentence of my original post.

It's better to have two functional adults who can be adults to each other.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 1:51 PM on May. 15, 2009

Me and my husband have been married for a little more than 13 years, and we have 5 kids. We fought alot for each and every pregnancy. I think it is a mixture of everything put together, hormones, fatigue, fear, etc. By my last pregnancy, we would both just laugh after a fight because we knew that it would get better.

Take it from a single mom its much better then to put your child through hell... it's hard at first but i wouldnt trade it for anything i love being the only one my son runs to with problems yeah he is going to want a father but once you find the right guy that will all fall into place.... You deserve someon that understands you if ya'll cant work things out maybe it wasnt meant to be... being a single mom isnt as hard as everyone makes it out to be.... I love it!!!

It takes two to argue...and I guarantee you that the majority of the arguements are ridiculous, right?

Your pregnant, there are men that don't understand the hormonal changes that we go through and then there are women that take advantage of the situation...whatever the case, your pregnant, about to have a baby and you're going to have to learn how to pick your battles...raising a child solo or with the father will still be hard, regardless...whether your with him or not, the two of you will have to raise the child together...its best you begin working on the relationship instead of running from it and the problems that are there...