The End-Of-Days Exit Interview

David Slutes

David Slutes serves as the entertainment director for Hotel Congress, which means he has the heavy responsibility of bringing the fun at the centerpiece of downtown cool by booking bands and DJs in the hotel's Club Congress, and on the outdoor patio at events like Labor Day's HoCo Fest. Slutes catapulted to rock 'n' roll fame as the lead singer in the Sand Rubies in the early '90s, and still finds himself onstage from time to time, primarily in the guise of his alter ego, Milos Sucrose, of the Eastern European cover band the Zsa-Zsas.'

A meteor is going to hit the planet tomorrow. Where in Tucson would you go for your final meal?

My first thought is Café Poca Cosa, but for my last meal, I think I'd return to my childhood roots and go to Casa Molina and order a cheese crisp and bean chimichanga, enchilada-style, with sour cream and guacamole—of course, all smothered in that insanely hot salsa they put on the tables there. It still may be my favorite meal ever, and frankly, the apocalypse might come as some relief afterward.

Our new robot overlords want to ban alcohol. Where would you want to have your final drink?

With Tiger in the Tap Room at Hotel Congress. I think he's been there since the last time alcohol was banned, so it seems fitting to end there.

Global warming has increased outside temps to 130 degrees in the summer. Where do you go to cool off?

Like everyone else, I'd head up to Mount Lemmon, but that seems like a trap. No doubt we'd be ravaged by forest fires up there. There is no place to run! I have no clue where to cool off.

Aliens have landed in your backyard and say: "Take us to your leader." Where in Tucson would you send them?

I would have gone with Bishop Chicago, the downtown guy who wore armor made out of aluminum cans, because he used to direct traffic and had an authoritative air about him. But he's left town, so I guess I'd go with Fletcher McCusker, because the downtown world seems to revolve around him these days. Frankly, that's been a good thing. Every time something happens around here, he's either putting money into it, or talking about it, or putting his mind to it.

The mole people are invading the surface world through a tunnel that opens in your backyard. What local business would you turn to for help?

Miller's Surplus. I want those rugged individualists over there to help me fight off the mole people. They've got the right attitude. I don't necessarily cotton to the survivalist mentality, but if mole people are zipping out of a hole, I think I'll find some sympathetic minds there.

If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Tucson, what shopping center would you like to hole up in?

The original one, Broadway Village. Not only is it a nice Joesler design, but they also have sushi there now, and the zombies might not recognize it as a traditional "shopping mall" to invade.

What Tucson band or musician would you want to write the soundtrack to the end of the world as we know it?

Young Hunter. They do a heavy proggy thing that is really great, and perfectly suitable for an apocalyptic soundtrack. I think they even have a video out now that is all about a monstrous haboob consuming Phoenix.

If you had only one sunset left in Tucson, from where would you watch it?

From my second-story balcony in my new barrio home. It has a wonderful vantage of "A" mountain, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to enjoy my new home before it's wiped off the face of the Earth.