Posts tagged ‘boys’

Cougars are all the rage for men in their twenties through forties (although the latter are kidding themselves—they’re no young cubs). But just what is it about women in the 40 plus group that is such a turn on? You’ll thrive in the game of dating younger men if you can pin that down, and if you can avoid the bad behavior of your fellow 40-plus felines.

DON’T TRY TO DRESS LIKE YOU’RE TWENTY

Trying to dress like you’re half your age makes you look twice your age. You probably don’t have the abs you used to back in the day, so get acquainted with flowy tops. The good news is your girls probably grew with age and maybe a little weight gain elsewhere. Show ‘em off!

DON’T TRY TO KEEP UP WITH POP CULTURE

Play the music you like when he comes over, suggest movies from your youth on movie night, and for goodness sake do not keep up with the Kardashians. One of your cub’s favorite things about you is you’ve got “vintage” style. He wants to know what’s interesting and popular in your age group.

DON’T TRY TO PARTY TOO HARD

Men look for class in cougars. Don’t try to keep up with a young buck by suddenly wanting to go out all throughout the week and drink hard after work. Your body won’t bounce back the same; and if he wanted a party girl, he’d be with one, instead of you.

DON’T MOMMY HIM

Don’t correct his grammar, or fact-check him when he’s engaged in conversation, or wipe his mouth. The last thing he’ll want to do is have sex with someone who reminds him of his mother.

DON’T PAY FOR EVERYTHING

Let him feel like a man and treat you, too. The greatest thing about dating someone younger is that he has so many places to show you that you’d never know about otherwise, and visa versa. So, try this: when you suggest a place, you pay. And when he suggests one, he pays.

DON’T BE TOO BOSSY IN BED

A cub will like that you know what you’re doing. He won’t like if you imply he doesn’t know what he’s doing. If there are certain things you need to happen in bed, present them in a way so it’s fun for both of you, and not just all in service of your big O.

DON’T TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS

You’ve had a longer life and inevitably accomplished more than your cub. It’s natural to reference your own history, experiences, victories etc. in conversation, but you have to watch it around a cub. He’s insecure to begin with: don’t provoke that.

BUT DON’T DOWNPLAY YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Don’t completely stay quiet about what you’ve done! Part of what attracts a young guy to an older woman is all her knowledge and experience about careers, travel, relationships and life in general.When he asks you about your history, don’t be afraid to share.

DON’T GET CATTY AROUND YOUNGER WOMEN

Like a crop top or too much makeup, catty behavior instantly ages you. So long as you see your age as an advantage, so will your cub. But he can smell it the second you feel insecure about your age, and being catty to younger women is the first symptom.

DON’T KNOCK THE YOUNG SPOTS

Your cub is going to take you to places that are too loud, too crowded, too simple, too cheap, too dirty—you name it. But there’s a reason he likes those places. Be open to what that reason may be.

ACCEPT YOUR CURVES

Too many cougars hit the gym obsessively, whittling their bodies down to nothing but bone. That doesnot look good on an older woman. Curves come in beautifully on the 40-plus group. And to a cub, that type of body isn’t a turn off—it’s different and exciting.

DON’T JUDGE HIM

He won’t know as much about money management or interior design or even table manners as you do. His apartment might be messy and his resume might be all botched up. Just remember: so was yours when you were his age.

DON’T HIDE YOUR KIDS!

If you lie about having children or send them away to visit their aunt anytime your cub comes over, everybody will feel guilty. Your guy will feel guilty that your kids have to scram when he’s around, and you’ll feel guilty about hiding your pride and joy!

DON’T DUMP ON MEN YOUR AGE

A younger man wants to feel that you’re approaching the concept of dating younger men from a positive place. He wants to feel that you see what is special about him, and not just how he is the opposite of everybody else you’ve dated. Refrain from complaining about men your age.

8 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Penis

Sensitivity, pleasure, size, and other surprising facts.

1. Use It or Lose It

You need to have erections regularly to keep your penis in shape. “It has to be essentially exercised,” says Tobias Kohler, MD, assistant professor of urology at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine.

To maintain a healthy tone, the smooth muscle of the penis must be periodically enriched with oxygen by the rush of blood that engorges the penis and makes it erect, Kohler says.

2. Your Penis May Be a ‘Grower’ or a ‘Show-er’

Among men, there is no consistent relationship between the size of the flaccid penis and its full erect length.

In one study of 80 men, researchers found that increases from flaccid to erect lengths ranged widely, from less than a quarter-inch to 3.5 inches longer.

Whatever the clinical significance of these data may be, the locker-room significance is considerable. You can’t assume that a dude with a big, limp penis gets much bigger with an erection. And the guy whose penis looks tiny might get a surprisingly big erection.

An analysis of more than a thousand measurements taken by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey shows that shorter flaccid penises tend to gain about twice as much length as longer flaccid penises.

3. The Pleasure Zone

Many men consider the underside of the glans (head) of the penis and the underside of the shaft to be most sensitive to sexual pleasure.

Researchers asked 81 healthy men to rate the erotic sensitivity of different areas of their bodies, including not only the penis but also zones such as the scrotum, anus, nipples, and neck.

4. Sensitivity Declines With Age

Studies show that the penis steadily loses sensitivity as men age though it’s hard to say exactly by how much. That’s because different researchers have used different ways to stimulate the penis and measure sensitivity.

In general, the sensitivity of the penis is gauged by the least amount of stimulation a man is able to feel. That is called the “sensory threshold.”

5. Vibrators Work on the Penis Too

Vibrators aren’t only for women. They work on the penis, too. In fact, vibration is so effective on the penis that often men with spinal cord injuries can ejaculate with the aid of a special medical vibrator. For this kind of treatment, the vibrator is usually held against the underside of the head of the penis.

“Medical-grade vibrators aren’t necessarily more powerful,” Kohler says. The vibrators are tuned to stimulate parts of the nervous system involved in ejaculation. “They work at frequencies or amplitudes that are more specific to the [nerve] pathways.”

6. There’s More to the Penis Than Meets the Eye

“Most guys would be proud to know that their penis is twice as long as they think it is,” Kohler says.

That’s because half the length of the penis is inside your body. Just like you don’t see all of a big oak tree above ground, you don’t see the root of your penis tucked up inside your pelvis and attached to your pubic bone.

7. Your Penis Is a Habitat

The skin of your penis is home to a diverse community of bacteria.

Lance Price, PhD, and Cindy Liu, PhD, researchers at the Translational Genomics Research Institute, in Flagstaff, Ariz., used genetic tests to identify the bacteria found on men’s penises. Their study showed there were a total of 42 unique kinds of bacteria inhabiting the skin of the penis.

8. Most Men Aren’t Circumcised

Worldwide, approximately 30% of males aged 15 and older are circumcised, according to a 2007 report from the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNAIDS.

Rates vary greatly depending upon religion and nationality, the report states. Almost all Jewish and Muslim males in the world have circumcised penises, and together they account for almost 70% of all circumcised males globally.

A new study by two University of Rochester psychologists adds color – literally and figuratively – to the age-old question of what attracts men to women. Through five experiments, Andrew Elliot and Daniela Niesta demonstrate that the color red makes men feel more amorous toward women. Most surprisingly, men are unaware of the role the color plays in their attraction.

Appearing in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the research provides the first empirical support for society’s enduring love affair with red. From red-light districts to red hearts on Valentine’s Day, red has been tied to carnal passions and romantic love across cultures and millennia. But this study, said Elliot, is the only work to scientifically document the effects of color on behavior in the context of relationships.

“It’s only recently that psychologists and researchers in other disciplines have been looking closely and systematically at the relationship between color and behavior. Much is known about color physics and color physiology, but very little about color psychology,” said Elliot. “It’s fascinating to find that something as ubiquitous as color can be having an effect on our behavior without our awareness.”

Although this aphrodisiacal effect of red may be a product of societal conditioning alone, the authors argue that men’s response to red more likely stems from deeper biological roots. Research has shown that nonhuman male primates are particularly attracted to females displaying red. Female baboons and chimpanzees, for example, redden conspicuously when nearing ovulation, sending a clear sexual signal designed to attract males.

“Our research demonstrates a parallel in the way that human and nonhuman male primates respond to red,” say the researchers. “In doing so, our findings confirm what many women have long suspected and claimed – that men act like animals in the sexual realm. As much as men might like to think that they respond to women in a thoughtful, sophisticated manner, it appears that at least to some degree, their preferences and predilections are, in a word, primitive.”

To quantify the red effect, the study looked at men’s responses to photographs of women under a variety of color presentations. In one experiment, test subjects looked at a woman’s photo framed by a border of either red or white and answered a series of questions, such as: “How pretty do you think this person is?”

When using chromatic colors like green and blue, the colors were precisely equated in saturation and brightness levels, explained Niesta, so that the “test results could not be attributed to differences other than hue.”

In the final study, the shirt of the woman in the photograph, instead of the background, was digitally colored red or blue. In this experiment, men were queried not only about their attraction to the woman, but their intentions regarding dating. One question asked: “Imagine that you are going on a date with this person and have $100 in your wallet. How much money would you be willing to spend on your date?”

Under all of the conditions, the women shown framed by or wearing red were rated significantly more attractive and sexually desirable by men than the exact same women shown with other colors. The red effect extends only to males and only to perceptions of attractiveness. Red did not increase attractiveness ratings for females rating other females and red did not change how men rated the women in the photographs in terms of likeability, intelligence or kindness.

Although red enhances positive feelings in this study, earlier research suggests the meaning of a color depends on its context. For example, seeing red in competition situations, such as written examinations or sporting events, leads to worse performance. The current findings have clear implications for the dating game, the fashion industry, product design and marketing, say the researchers.

You’d be surprised at how even the most macho, siga ng barangay, alpha males get tongue-tied when speaking to a girl they really like. When it comes to asking her out, the internal debate we experience would put a political forum to shame. Here are some reasons why being torpe is the number one syndrome affecting single males today.

Our Fears Are Amplified

It’s a given that we’re not as conscious about our looks as girls are. You’ll never hear us say, “OMG! I’m allergic to my new aftershave and I have a rash! I can’t be seen in public!” But when faced with the object of our affections, it’s difficult not to feel conscious about our appearance. The pounds we promised to burn off months ago feel bulgier than ever, we wonder if our faces are shiny, if our deodorant is still working, etc. When you look at us, it feels like there’s a spotlight. Especially when…

…You Look Really Cute

The feeling of attraction ebbs and flows—there are days when we see you and we’re fine. Then, there are days when you look extra pretty, like when you wear that shimmery sleeveless dress that shows off your tan, or even when you “dress down” and wear a witty t-shirt with your hair in a ponytail and no makeup (never underestimate your everyday look). When you look gorgeous, our brain diverts all our mental resources to our eyes. This results in the dopey, give-away look you see us do (a.k.a. the torpe stare).

Too Many Voices In Our Heads

Say we bump into you at a party, it’s the perfect opportunity to strike a conversation and for us to get to know each other. Normally, all it takes is an ice-breaker or an offer to get a beer, then it’s small talk, catching up, finding common interests, etc. Simple, right? Um, no. When we like a girl, we want to put our best foot forward. We want to say something clever so she’ll remember us. Also, we want to be cool because we don’t want to be seen as mayabang and we don’t want to come off as timid either. There are just waaay too many variables.

Verdicts And Vulnerability

Maybe the hardest part about liking someone is that it leads to the inevitable question: Does she like you back? When we start thinking along those lines, all the self-confidence and positive reinforcement we’ve nurtured all these years begin to show cracks. Because, while we know this is a yes or no game, we feel exposed when we’re at the mercy of someone else’s opinion—especially someone we’re really fond of. For us guys that’s the very definition of “vulnerable.”

Pinoy Guys Speak Out: “What Gave Me ‘Lakas Ng Loob'”

“I was encouraged by friends.” — Christian Bautista, 27, writer

“It was easy for me to approach her because I love women, especially my mom.” — David Sison, 25, entrepreneur

“Lots of beer.” — Jeje Santos, 23, musician

“When I first approached her, it wasn’t love at first sight. But when I got to know her better, I found out we had lots of things in common.” — Nico Pineda, 30, music teacher

The art of oral pleasure goes far beyond the three T’s: tips, tricks and techniques. They can be useful, sure, and definitely fun to learn and try. But the tips and tricks are just that, and employing them without any true emotion leaves a woman feeling like a whore (and not in a good way) or a drone/robot, and a man feeling empty – literally and figuratively, if you’ve brought the blow job to its usual conclusion. So the first rule of blow jobs is never doing anything you don’t really want to do. The second rule of blow jobs is… never does anything you don’t want to do. And the third and the final rule for blow jobs? It’s all about the pleasure – his and yours. Everything else is frosting on the cake. So here comes the frosting…

She Likes It, She Really Likes It!
This is the single most important part of the blow job. The pleasure you take in giving it. When a man is in this position, he is at his most vulnerable. He is open and exposed to you. (Remember, your vagina doesn’t have teeth!) For me, this amount of trust is breathtaking and beyond arousing. I always take it as the profound and delightful gift it is.

Cleanliness is Next to…
Many women hesitate to perform fellatio because of the smell or taste. Personally, I love that particularly masculine scent, but if it turns you off, don’t worry, warm water and a washcloth are a great way to start a blow job, and the rough cloth and some gentle rubbing and squeezing will go a long way toward getting him hard. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just make it part of foreplay.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Tease. Spend time. Don’t just start out like a Hoover on overdrive. Tickle his thighs with your fingernails. Kiss his chest and belly. Lick the inside of his thighs. Nibble and suck on his balls. (Carefully, some guys are too sensitive here for this.) Avoid the cock for a while. Then play with the shaft (which is much less sensitive than the head) before moving on to the top.

Breast Obsessed
you’ve got them – don’t forget to use them! Their size and shape don’t matter – rub them over his chest and belly on your way down to the Promised Land. Drag them over his cock. Press his cock between them for a moment and try to reach it with your tongue. Slap your nipples with the head. Rub pre-cum over them. (You can rub the final cum over them, too, but we’ll talk about that later!)

Pant Rant
Follow his breath, not your own. I admit, sucking cock turns me on. Sometimes it gets me more aroused than even he is at the moment! (Hey, I’m an excitable girl, what can I say?) So a good rule of thumb is to follow his breath. Match your rhythm, whether mouth or hand, with how fast he’s breathing, speeding up as he does and you’ll pretty much is on target.

Equipment Tips
the cock is basic: head, shaft, testicles. The shaft has the least amount of nerve endings amongst the three. The balls are very sensitive, but in a different way from the head. Think of the cock head as your clit. If he’s uncircumcised, it’s really quite similar, because his foreskin serves to protect the deliciously sensitive nub underneath. If he’s circumcised, the most sensitive part of the cock is usually what’s called the frenulum—that arrow-shaped V on the underside at the tip.

But just like us girls, guys really like the build up, so remember to tease, follow his breath, and make him wait for it. Use his foreskin (if he still has it) to caress the cock head, up and down. Even if he’s cut, there’s usually still enough loose skin left on the shaft to bring it up and tease the head of the cock. Guys like that. It’s what stroking is all about.

Sleek Technique
This is really the least important part of the blow job. Tips and techniques are secondary, and they vary so much, depending on the man involved. I’ve known men who have balls so sensitive they can’t have to stand them touched, let alone sucked and licked. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve known men who get off on having them scratched, pulled and twisted. There are men who love blow jobs with no hands – they want all mouth. There are those who get off on the hand and mouth coordination. Some love to be sucked hard as a Hoover. Others like it light and slow, even at the end. And there’s every part of the spectrum in between. The variations are endless. Truly, it is just endless.

That said, here are some techniques you can try. It’s all one grand, messy, delightful experiment, so get in there and enjoy!

Lube Tube
That’s right, they do sell edible lube. Want to give him a real treat? Squirt some into your mouth before you take him in. But if you’re not into lube, then you’ll have to do it naturally. The good news is, once you have something in your mouth, your body associates it with food and you will start salivating. A lot. Just let it happen and use your spit. Some men like you to actually spit on their cock. Find out if he likes this. Do it. It can be really hot.

The Ice Cream Man
Yep, just what it sounds like. He’s the delicious cone that’s come to you on a hot, muggy day, and you’re going to lick him until he’s all gone spent! Pretend he’s an ice cream cone and you’re smoothing your tongue around the head, catching the drips down the cone shaft. Do this for a while and see what the reaction is. When he can’t stand it anymore, move onto something else.

It’s OK
Put your thumb and forefinger in that “OK” position, and then uses it to circle the base of his cock. This is your base position, from which all hand strokes come. You can close all your fingers around him at some point and give him the full squeeze, but always remember to go back to “OK.”

Giving him the shaft
Just because it has the fewest nerve endings doesn’t mean it should be ignored. Think of your inner and outer vaginal lips… they’re nowhere near as sensitive as your clit, but it does feel good to have them licked and sucked. The same goes for the shaft. Spend some time there, licking, squeezing, rubbing. I like to press the head against his belly and rub the underside of the shaft with my palm – or my breasts. Use your imagination!

Chipmunk Cheeks
Turn your head a little when you’re sucking him. This gives him a different sensation (the smooth wall of your cheek) and it also gives him the wonderful illusion that his cock is just too big for your mouth!

Humming
Just what it sounds like. Take him into your mouth and hummmmmmm. The sensation is incredible. Just remember to use one basic tone. Don’t start humming Yankee Doodle Dandy, or it’s bound to break the mood.

The Eyes Have It
I’ve rarely heard this one disputed. Men are visual. They want to see your adoring eyes looking up at them while their cock is buried in your mouth. They want to see the smile, the hunger, the greed in your eyes at every moment. It’s a big turn-on and a reassurance that you are, in fact, connected and really enjoying what you’re doing.

Dirty Flirty
If you have a problem talking dirty, practice. No, I’m not kidding. Do it when you’re alone. Practice in the shower. Whisper if you think someone might hear you. But practice. Try out the words. Cock, pussy…. Feel them in your mouth. Say them often enough that they sound good to you. Say them often enough that they turn you on. Work up to the big ones like “cunt.” (Some women never get there – but I’m all in favor of freeing the much maligned “cunt” from its verbal prison!) Then try the phrases. “Oh, god, I love your cock!” and “It’s so big and beautiful, it makes my mouth water…” (Might sound silly, but in the heat of the moment, trust me… it’s a winner.) “I’m gonna suck you so hard, baby… do you want my mouth?” and slowly work up to the “That’s right, I’m your greedy little cock whore, baby, yes, fuck my mouth with that big cock!” Once you’ve got it down in the shower, try it out on him. The feedback will be quite rewarding… and will spur you on and overcome your inhibitions.

Don’t Put Yourself on the Shelf
Your pleasure is important, too. Let him squeeze your breasts and nipples. Moan when he does. (Coz you know you want to anyway!) Reach between your legs and tell him, “Sucking you makes me so hot; I have to play with my pussy!” Let him hear how wet you are. Let him taste how wet you are. Let him suck your fingers while you suck his cock. Rub your juices all over the head of his cock and lick it off. (Never tasted you? Try it! You’re quite yummy!)

Extreme Sucking
Like extreme sports, this one isn’t for everyone. But some guys simply love to be sucked as hard and long as you can. Think vacuum cleaner on overdrive. Hollow your cheeks and go for it! (But remember to ask him if he wants to try this, first, and stop when he tells you to!)

Ice Is Nice, Heat is Neat
Temperature change during a blow job can be a lot of fun to play with. Slip an ice cube into your mouth while you’re sucking him as a fun surprise. Or take a sip of hot tea before sucking him. Change it up between the two. The sensations are worth the time and effort!

Discuss the Perineum & the Anus
Some men love to have these areas touched. (Even licked… but that’s a whole other article!) Talk about it beforehand, though, because some men are also reticent about this. Ask if you can try it, and do, if you’re both open to it. The anus and perineum have lots of yummy nerve endings that can increase the intensity of orgasm, and men have a prostate gland to massage, as well. If you want to know more about this area, check out this article.

Deep-Throat: It’s not Just for Politics Anymore
There are hundreds (literally) of articles on how to deep throat. If you want to try this technique, find one and practice. You can use a dildo, a carrot, a cucumber. Work on fighting your gag reflex. Sometimes it helps to practice before you take on an actual cock. But don’t be scared, either. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to (remember the first rule of blow jobs.) It’s not the be-all and end-all of blow job techniques. Remember that the most sensitive part of the cock is the head, not the shaft. Yes, it can feel good to have the head of the cock rubbing against the back of the throat and a thrill to watch it disappear into a mouth… but it isn’t a necessity.

Gaggle of Gaggers
I wrote a whole essay on the art of gagging alone. Gagging and throat-fucking isn’t for everyone. But if you want to try it, take a look at the how’s and whys and experiment!

Variety is the Spice of Sex
Remember to change it up. One motion, over and over, is boring and repetitive and… boring. Did I say boring? And while that’s true, and you should change it up, it’s also best to introduce each of these techniques like you do recipes to your repertoire (that is to say: one at a time, slowly, and only re-introduce the “keepers” so they become part of your regular diet!)

There is only one exception to this rule: when his breath is coming fast, his hips are thrusting up, he’s got his hands in your hair, and he’s just about to come. (He may even groan and tell you – “Oh god, I’m gonna come!” – men often get into the habit of giving us a warning!) At this point, don’t change what you’re doing. Keep going and don’t stop until you’ve got struck white gold.

Cum Yum
You have two choices: spit or swallow. There’s lots of debate about this one, and articles all over the Internet (and elsewhere) about it. If he is intent on you swallowing and you’re afraid – try it. You can make it quick and relatively painless, even if you don’t like the taste. Just block off your nose (you can do this at the back of your throat – without holding your nose – practice and see what I mean) and swallow. There will only be a slight aftertaste. But if he doesn’t really care either way, and you really don’t like the taste, spitting can be sexy, too. You don’t have to make it about running to the bathroom and spitting it in the sink like you’ve got acid in your throat. Let him come in your mouth, then tip your head back and let it dribble out everywhere. Or spit it back out onto his belly and rub it all over your mouth and chin and breasts. If you really can’t even stand to have his come in your mouth, then let him come on your breasts.