CHICAGO, IL – Panic and fear ensued in the hearts and minds of Muslim Youth Committee coordinators when they failed to screen some of the ‘last-second’ acts performing at this year’s “Muzlims Gotz Skeelz” variety show and fundraiser.

“There are certain things you can and cannot do at these ‘halal’ shows which attract many families,” explains Kazim Al-Ghaffour, event coordinator. “I was truly caught off guard when his pants started to come off.”

Al-Ghaffour was forced to make a last-second decision when musical act ‘Chop Stik Miswak’ failed to arrive at the Gateway Theatre this past Saturday evening. During the intermission and under mounting pressure to fill numerous vacant slots in the lineup, Al-Ghaffour agreed to let Muslim hip-hop artist M.F. Haseen perform his routine.

Later that evening, a dismayed Ghaffour found out what the M.F stood for. “It was explained to me that he had this ‘east meets west’ freestyle,” explained Al-Ghaffour, “I guess that means that he managed to upset people of many ethnicities.”

“I don’t know how this happened.” said committee member Bilal Ali. “I thought Ghaffour had screened all the acts.”