Daily Archives: May 31, 2011

You arrive to Melbourne 16 hours after flying leaving Saigon, four and a half hours of which were spent in a Chinese airport where you ate beef-noodle soup that would soon destroy your stomach and have you gassing people out on the plane. The fat pimply, greasy Chinese 20-something sitting next to you keeps drinking milk, after milk, after milk, chugging them down as you fart into the cushion trying to drive the smell deep into foam oblivion… Before landing the flight attendants walk by and hand out napkins to cover your faces while they spray down the cabin in some disinfectant to rid the plane of dangers to Australia’s agriculture. You watch the stewardess walk by spraying the overhead bins and the bathrooms with what looked like air freshener. You fart some more beef noodle gas into the cushion, and the fat kid next to you is sitting there with his mouth open, burps up his milk. Welcome to Melbourne… Read More »