This is the biggest WTF movie I have ever seen. I jumped in about 10 minutes into the movie as I was flipping through the channels late one night and I stopped because right off I could tell this was sub B movie, the acting is worse than any movie, including porn that I have ever seen. It's just absolute craziness on the screen as I'm trying to figure out just what the hell is going on, suddenly it's the two Insane Clown Posse idiots. I had no idea these boobs even made movies. I watched the whole thing, I couldn't turn away from it. I always thought Freddy Got Fingered was the worst movie but that's oscar gold compared to this movie. If you are looking for a hilariously bad movie this one is for you. The acting is so bad that it actually adds to the insanity of this movie, the violence is so over the top and fake that it's actually really funny. I think they made the blood look as fake as possible on purpose, it's seriously that fake blood you buy in a tube for Halloween.

I went to the Jalopnik Film Festival the other day, here's my take on the days films:

Black Air - 1/10
- This tribute to the Buick Grand National is a master class in how NOT to make a documentary. Uninteresting characters, bad photography and virtually no action shots of the subject matter makes this easily the worst film of the festival. No wonder they showed it first.

Easier Said Than Done - 5/10
- Next up, a rally documentary. It drags a bit at first but gives a decent intro to the rally scene. It has some funny characters and great action shots. Better, but not quite worthwhile unless you have an interest in rally or motorsport.

Grand Prix - 6/10
- Astonishingly good race photography of the actual 1966 F1 season with several F1 drivers performing cameos and stunt duty. Sadly the acting doesn't hold up to the quality of the racing and the movie is about an hour too long. The movie dates itself with excessive use of split screen which was in vogue at the time but at least it's well done.

Senna - 10/10
- Easily the greatest racing movie ever made and arguably the best documentary ever made. Composed entirely of archival footage, Senna tells a great story about a very interesting man and feels like a great dramatic film rather than a stodgy documentary like Black Air. Senna is a must see.

Rush - 7/10
- this movie covers the great F1 rivalry between Niki Lauda and James Hunt. The movie has been advertised with Hunt in the lead role but it feels like it's more about Lauda. He is easily the most interesting character in the movie and gets most of the best lines. The few brief racing sequences are done well. Like Senna and unlike most racing movies, the movie is just as good when the drivers are out of the cars.

Last night I watched Paranomral Activity 4, the most of it anyway. I wish someone from the audience would explain to me the point of these movies. From a producer's point of view I get it, they shoot something cheap (and it shows) and get rich quickly. But for an audience? There is no suspense, you know what will happen in the end, characters are weak to non-existent and for much of the duration there is just boredom, boredom, boredom. Not to mention those "found footage" gimmicks where everyone is carrying some sort of camera around, even when facing death. The only feeling I got out of this movie... well, I felt like a dirty old man spying in the room of a 15-year-old girl. Yuck. I think I have to wash myself.

Afterwards, I watched Bullit after a certain point, but dozed off because I was too tired and it was after midnight. Then I woke up to the loud sounds of engines screeching and watched that great car chase scene... I wish they would shoot more like that today. Great sounds, realistic pace and drivers that actually make mistakes. OK, so I know sound effects were added later and there are some problems with the scene (e.g. the same green VW Beetle seen several times, or the explosions were kind of strange) but it still was intense. Thumbs up

I just watched Rush again on its own rather than in the context of a whole bunch of other racing movies and have decided I was a little hard on it. That's because I'd just watched the amazing Senna right before it. Rush is a solid 8.

An incredible cinematic achievement, the best and most meaningful 3D I've ever seen. It's no 2001 or Solaris though, just a solid Hollywood movie (clichés and all) with stupefyingly good special effects.

I formed the following mental image watching a movie last night: some producers find an abandoned warehouse with various costumes, even Halloween ones, and props. Then they announce at some site they are looking for extras for some major movie production. Then they look for a recognizable name as the villain of the movie. What they end up with is a complete mess: Fights with Romans, near Thai ruins, ninjas, a Scandinavian and a bunch of other armies waving banners and flags of England (the red cross on white background), Japan, fleur-de-lis, like the ones in France; also Ron Perlman (??) is somewhere in the bunch and basically whatever else you can think of. The villain of the movie is the same one from Titanic, Billy Zane, wearing a ridiculous leather jacket and acting in the steps of Jeremy Irons in Dungeons & Dragons. The name of the movie was The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption and my rating is: rolling on the couch laughing/10.

Breakfast at Tiffany's. Besides the old time charm, I didn't find anything in this movie interesting whatsoever. Perhaps the situations are so foreign to me that I didn't care at all one way or the other.

"Cat" was great though. Even when completely soaked, it played its role perfectly.

Paranorman:A brilliant and well executed horror/comedy film that manages to keep you grinning,surprised and suspenseful all the way through.It makes neat little references and homages to the Horror B-movie of the late 70's-80's and has a very good soundtrack.One final thing,This film is fuckin' hilarious.

Damn I posted that in the wrong section lol. you can delete if you want. Since I'm hear I'll say that I recently got the X-Men the complete animated series from the 90s when I was at Comic-con. Man I forgot just how much I love this show. 9.5/10

I loved Cloud Atlas. I need to read the book some time. I purposely put off reading the book until after I had watched the movie since usually the movie is horrible after having read the book. Now that I have seen the movie, I can stop putting off reading it.

I really enjoyed it, I was into the story the whole time. I'm not going to talk about it in relation to the book because I think the book is largely unadaptable.
But as its own thing the movie was very good.

I loved Cloud Atlas. I need to read the book some time. I purposely put off reading the book until after I had watched the movie since usually the movie is horrible after having read the book. Now that I have seen the movie, I can stop putting off reading it.

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I'm not giving it a thumbs up or down yet. It doesn't help that I saw it in two settings over two nights where I was pretty tired each time. Right now I'm inclined it leave it with a giant "Wut?" as my opinion of it, and move on.

I really enjoyed it, I was into the story the whole time. I'm not going to talk about it in relation to the book because I think the book is largely unadaptable.
But as its own thing the movie was very good.

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Yes, it is too much for a movie, but it's perfectly well adaptable if they make it a miniseries, or a full on series on some premium channel or something.

Man of Steel - 6/10
Decent special effects extravaganza worth watching for the eye-candy only. It tries too hard to be "serious", leaving the 1970's Superman as the one with more gravitas and emotional authenticity. Given that it's a screwball comedy, this is pretty damning of Man of Steel.

The Heat - 4/10
Saw it on the plane ride out to Vegas, and had to keep switching to my iPod to get away from how bad it was. Terrible movie. Probably the worst I have seen in a long time. Not funny, nonsensical, and completely pointless.

Despicable Me 2 - 8/10
I think I would have enjoyed watching it more if I hadn't seen so much of it in previews, and wasn't watching it at 3:00am in my Vegas bedroom.

Turbo - 7/10
Much better than the movie I saw on the way out to Vegas. All of the entertainment on that flight was better than the first one. The movie also had a point to itself. Way to go Turbo.

Thor: The Dark World - 8/10
I have given a lot of movies that rating this year, but I liked this one the most of all of those. I just enjoyed everything that happened.

The Thing (old one) on Blu-Ray
Love it. I started getting some Blu-Rays, with the prices going down to levels I'm willing to spend, and it's worth it. I remember going from VHS and DVD and seeing a difference, but not being sure if it was a big enough leap to win me over. I'm impressed with how much more vibrant colors are and such.
Plus the movie is the shit and gets better with every viewing.

Django Unchained - I really enjoyed this movie, although I felt it was just a little bit long. Well-made and well-written, real locations, good effects (not that fake looking digital blood), good actors, and the right amount of action. What I question here is to what extent is Django the real protagonist. It seemed to me that Dr.Shultz was the driving force of everything and I really cannot understand how Cristoph Waltz is a "supporting" actor in any real sense. Sure enough, Django has more time on screen, but it seemed to me like a story of a couple of people rather than one. Maybe if it was called "The Two Bounty Hunters" or whatever the audience would be better prepared for what happens on screen.

One other thing: a great film-maker though he is, Tarantino should start doing something different than revenge movies. Although this movie can be thought of as a commentary to racial issues and such, at the end of the day it's just "REVENGE!! F*** YEAH!!"

When I first I heard about a prequel I thought "who cares?" The movie started and I started to think "hmm, this could actually be really good!" By the time it was done I was back to "who cares?" It wasn't bad. It just wasn't that terribly good either.

I liked the idea of having Americans and Norwegians trapped together. It could have added up to a lot more than it did. Imagine it: you have the socialist Norwegians, allied with the Americans but still not comfortable with them for what they represent; vice versa. Add a one-way language barrier: all but one Norwegian speaks English, none of the Americans speak Norwegian. You could have the Norwegians plotting in their own language, but the Americans are deprived of this. You could turn the Norwegians into what they hate: the fear mongering, paranoid Cold War power. It would have been gold, that premise with a good director would make this the perfect companion piece.

Sadly, the movie is too eager to show The Thing off. It feels like a retread. It hits all the same notes that Carpenter's movie does with almost none of the build-up. We don't really know a thing about a single character -- except for the head of the expedition (namely, he's an idiot for disregarding very sensible advice concerning maybe being a bit more careful with handling alien matter!) -- when the thing starts doing it's thing. There's no tension because I don't really care about these guys. In comparison, Carpenter's version is full of characterization before anything happens. You get a sense for who people are. MacReady got more characterization in his first 30 seconds than any character does in this movie. This means you care, especially when people start accusing him of being the thing. The new one also doesn't spend enough time away from the the bulk of the characters. It's not like the old one where a lot of time is spent off MacReady, so when people accuse him of being the thing you can find yourself believing it -- there is a lot of time unaccounted for. It's because there's so much time where Childs isn't on-screen that people debate the ending of the original. But that just can't happen with the new one.

I think they should have taken a Prometheus sort of take on The Thing. I liked Prometheus because it was cool to explore the ship. I think they should have been exploring this ship a lot, used it to set-up the characters so you can start to see how the divisions will fall once the tension starts, with the time at base camp being minimized UNTIL the thing gets out of the ice. Then you can spend more time at the research station, which would, ironically, feel more alien to the viewer since most the movie has been spent away from the outpost. This would expand the mythology they're trying to expand, instead of... well, just being there. Was the ship the thing's or did it crash because it invaded the ship? That's a question they could have tackled. Was the ship destined for earth or did it just see it and think "better there than Mercury"? You don't even need to answer it, you just need the scientists doing their own thing and maybe arguing over the possible hypotheses, use that to add some doubt as to who will side with who (these two don't get along personally, but they both agree on the nature of the alien, so will they side because they think their answer is correct or will they be against each other because the emotions run deeper than reason?).

That all being said, I didn't hate this movie. It's just such an unneeded prequel that literally adds no interesting elements to the story when it has such a great set-up. It's just so busy making sure it checks certain things off the list. It's so eager to tie everything up so it ties into the Carpenter movie (but there's a few holes with that) that it misses out on being anything truly worth watching. It lacks the tension because it really feels rushed. I've watched The Thing... I don't know how many times, actually... but each time still sucks me in and each time is a tense experience. With this The Thing, well, it feels like every other horror movie.

Tunnel Rats - 7/10
American soldiers have too explore the Vietnamese tunnels and kill the VC in those tunnels.

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You just gave a Uwe Boll movie a 7/10? I might have to check it out but.....Uwe Boll???

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I like war movies, so what?
And especially the part in this movie the US troops get their asses kicked by the VC.

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I love good war movies as well....Am I to understand you don't know who Uwe Boll is? He's the absolute worst writer/director of the last 30 years. I'm just surprised he made a movie that anybody would rate that high, with the exception of Postal. Postal was good because he was basically making fun of himself by making one of the most absurd movies ever, on purpose instead of by accident.

The Usual Suspects has a "cripple" telling stories to pass the time until he can be released from the cops as they eat up everything he says hook line and sinker, with a twist ending that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense before and after the reveal. Basic has everyone telling stories that no one believes, with a twist ending that doesn't make any sense at all at any point in the narrative. It don't make no fucking sense at all. But I love the way it plays out, and the performances by John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson.

Just above average. Slightly less predictable than other Bond films but still quite predictable. I liked the little homages to old Bond movies. The ending kinda sucked. Some cool action moments that made me lol.

The first film by the Oscar-nominated director of MEMENTO, THE PRESTIGE and THE DARK KNIGHT, Christopher Nolan, FOLLOWING is a tantalizing indie neo-noir.

Out of boredom and frustration, a writer picks out strangers at random from the crowded streets of London and follows them. He shadows people to see where they go, how they spend their days. Reasoning to himself that he is gathering useful material for the fictional characters in his writing, he starts following the same people more than once, drawn to discovering more about their lives. He is confronted by a professional burglar named Cobb who demands to know why he is following him. Cobb then takes him along on a robbery, showing him the ropes and demonstrating his ability to make deductions about his victims from their possessions. Increasingly involved in Cobb's nefarious activities and obsessed with a woman whose home they've burgled, he becomes enmeshed in a perilous web.

12 Years a Slave - 10/10 - Saw this about a week ago. Excellent movie, and currently my favorite movie of the year, with Gravity close behind it.

Gravity - 10/10 - Saw this one a few weeks ago. Excellent movie and visually impressive. One of the few 3D movies that was truly worth it. My second favorite movie of the year.
....third place pick for now would be Before Midnight.

World War Z - 6/10 - It was ok. Not bad. Not good. It's makes for decent rental if you're bored, but there wasn't anything particularly interesting or memorable about this movie to me.

REC 3: Genesis - 5/10 - Another merely ok movie. A pretty disappointing follow up to the otherwise great [Rec] series, with [Rec] and [Red] 2 being good entries in the genre, this devolved more into what seemed like a cheap imitation and very generic.

Really? You'd put this in the company of 12 Years a Slave and Gravity? I love 2 Days in Paris but 2 Days in New York was like reheated leftovers. Before Midnight looked like more of the same. I may check it out.

Really? You'd put this in the company of 12 Years a Slave and Gravity? I love 2 Days in Paris but 2 Days in New York was like reheated leftovers. Before Midnight looked like more of the same. I may check it out.

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Before Midnight is a completely different series from 2 Days in Paris or 2 Days in New York...the only thing they have in common is they both feature Julie Delpy.

The series started off as a 90's young indie romance, which there first film was ok, but not exactly great or highly acclaimed...but the series really found it's footing and acclaim with the 2004 sequel Before Sunset, which Before Midnight is more in tone with in terms of being an examination of relationships and growing older.

I just watched Catching Fire, and I thought it wasn't as good as the first one. At times it feels like they leave the gun on the mantle the whole time. The whole movie feels like it is designed to fill the space between the first and third movies.

Spring Breakers - ??? / 10 - Part of me wants to give this movie a 5 / 10, the other part of me wants to give it an 8/10. This is a movie where I really felt divided, where part of me thought it was one of the more interesting and entertaining movies I've seen this year, and part of me felt it was one of the lamest movies of the year. It kinds falls into that "bad but good" category or is it "good but bad" category...I really can't decide. My recommendation - watch this movie inebriated, with friends, It's not a movie I that is meant to be watched alone and sober.