I like politics. I write long political bars and can never flow. I need to go back to the basics and somehow learn to use my intellect and this make it musical. I'm like immortal tech with no flow and I need a lot of help.

Idk If I just need to go back to the basics or what... but I want to make marketable music and need a mentor or something. I want to be less like an Immortal tech with no rhyme and more like Lupe Fiasco... he gets it all out and flows. I want to make music for a long time. Political and social rap.

Your lyrics are very literal, as opposed to metaphorical. In that sense, they are very good. I get a political lock on it right away.

You express your desire for mainstream success. IMO, that is hard to drive home without some semblance of metaphor, be it in the main hook or whatever.

Bring in some ladies, or rapper B to send it flying at the chorus even if it is 180 degress from the main riff, something to sell a hook like maybe "the breeze is blowin'" if we are talking the winds of political change etc etc

I like your music as it is. It is you. Its who you are. If you want to cash in you are going to have to put more pretty curtains on the window. Thats all.
Just my .02 ---cheers

Its your delivery.... your flow is fine.... your delivery is off. Here's something to practice. Get your favorite rappers instrumentals and rap their lyrics over their beat and record it. Play their song and your song in an a b comparison to see what yours lacks.also... find somewhere where you can get as loud as you want and try rapping your verses a capella at higher volumes. What your trying to grasp in your delivery is more tonal changes. You currently sound like your reading opposed to really getting something off your chest. Also try writing single lines that mean a lot to you. Say them over and over again trying to add as much relevant tone and emotion as possible. I hope this helps. I remember being stuck at the same spot your at. Just never give up man.