If there is one warning Goatse.cx had to teach us, it’s not to become too fascinating with peering up our own orifices. In those membraneous chasms, pulsing horror lies. But it’s a lesson the Japanese have never seemed to learn: when they aren’t jabbing ear wax picks into their cochleas or cramming cephalopods up things, they are — at the very least — showing an uncomfortable level of interest in what’s up places.

Courtesy of Thanko, then, is this USB powered dental microscope, which will allow anyone — and not just their dentist — to become way, way too familiar with their own teeth.

The Dental Microscope features six LEDs attached to a small CMOS camera that will shoot JPEGs or BMPS (thankfully no RAW) of your teeth at a 640×480 resolution. But this bad boy isn’t meant for still imagery: it’s actually made for home movies. Bizarrely, it’s video output is an astonishing 1280×1024. Because what could be more exciting than swooping around your cuspids in high definition?

Presumably, the hole device is meant to allow you to see problems before they start… or, at least, allow you to go into your next dentist’s appointment knowing a bit more what’s going on beforehand.

Thankfully, though, Thanko is not marketing this thing as a home dentistry accessory. Although, come to think of it, with the help of a computer, a soddering iron, some tin foil and the Dental Microscope, you’re really only $80 from away from never going to the dentist again.