3554–The_Last_Champion.html

The Last Champion!

In Umbleania by the Sea
There’s much Olympic revelry
For George Adolphus Mungo Spring
(Five hundred meter hopping king)
Is more than sure he’ll win the gold
And everybody has been told
That when he’s won the King will pay
For half a fortnight’s holiday

So George set out to catch the bus
(The 46) amidst much fuss
His destiny was calling loud
And Umbleania would be proud!
His hopping leg is long and strong
(Its partner’s weak and looks, well, wrong)
He’s never lost a single race
A silver would be sad disgrace!

By bus, then train, then plane, then car
Few Umbleanians stray so far
But George Adolphus isn’t stressed
He’s certain he will prove the best.
Olympic torch and national flag
Are stuffed inside a paper bag
His travel case is bright and new
And houses just his hopping shoe.

The airport isn’t looking right
But George won’t moan he’s too polite
There should be other athletes here
And maybe crowds to throng and cheer
The streets aren’t lined with coloured rings
No odd shaped mascots hung from strings
And at the village, what a cheek,
They say the games were held last week!!!

Author notes

Umbleania by the Sea, one of the oldest Kingdoms on Earth was founded in the 1940s by King Bob’s dad. They’ve never won an Olympic medal for hopping although it is the national sport. Hopping is so popular in the main cities that the pavements (sidewalks to Americans) need only be half as wide as in other countries.

The best way to get there is to kite-surf from Lewisham, turn left by MacDonalds, then take a hot air ballon to the famous underground airport.