The Epic Klepek Culinary Challenge!!! (Memberships Up for Grabs)

Gentle Bombsfolk, I come to you today to announce a contest... THE EPIC KLEPEK CHALLENGE (For those of you who didn't read the title). Now you may be wondering "Why should I care about this you jerk" to which I respond "Firstly you're the jerk, secondly THERE ARE TWO YEAR LONG PREMIUM SUBSCRIPTIONS UP FOR GRABS". Now that I have your attention here are the rules.

1. You must create a food or drink "worthy" of GiantBomb. This mean you must make something that in some ways pays tribute to the site, for example; you could go as easy as a Snack Packtrick Klepek (An open Snack Pack pudding) or as elaborate as a Porktirck Klepchop drizzled with some Ryan Davis Keyboard Gravy, and a side of Snider Sprouts (MAKE A DUMB GIANTBOMB RELATED PUN OR JOKE AS A NAME TO GO ALONG WITH YOUR FOODSTUFF.)

2. You must take a picture of the resulting abomination creation along with a piece of paper with your forum name, and the phrase I'm on TV. IF YOU DON"T INCLUDE THIS YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR A PRIZE.

3. DON'T BE A JERK, SERIOUSLY.

I will be awarding one of the prizes, and celebrity judge Patrick Klepek is also going to be awarding a prize. The contest is open from now until December 10th. so get to work.

****Not associated with Jeff Gerstmann in anyway. Jeffy G being gangster and Denny's were the only way I could make it Giant Bomb related****

****Nor do I condone the abuse of alcohol or eating at anytime ever!****

3 AM Denny’s

What is more gangster than Jeffy G? If you’re thinking Denny’s at 3 AM, you’re right!

When you’re out at a club drinking and partying too hard, and you find yourself drunk and alone; if you’re like me, you’ll find your way to Denny’s. Maybe you’ll order a steak you can’t afford, but bought it anyway too make yourself feel better. Then you find yourself unable to eat the steak anyway because you’re crying to hard, and the fat, middle-aged, waitresses are laughing at you. You get a taxi home and you quote your favorite Mario quotes to yourself like, “It’s a me, Mario.” Those quotes don’t make you feel better and you go to bed. You wake up, swimming in your own vomit, with only ten minutes to be at your job at GameStop. The only thing you have to eat is your leftover steak that you didn’t refrigerate.

Then the Denny’s 3 AM is for you.

Turn that son of bitch, salty with your own tears steak into a delicious sandwich.

Cut that steak up, throw some mayonnaise on a fine slice of wheat bread, and fill it with yummy overly salted steak.

I'm probably going to hell for making a pun of a pun, but this was the only thing I could think of right now. Sorry for the grainy photo but it's late and I have no real light source in my room. I call it:

I'm probably going to hell for making a pun of a pun, but this was the only thing I could think of right now. Sorry for the grainy photo but it's late and I have no real light source in my room. I call it:

Breaking Bread

We might as well end the challenge here! THIS IS GREAT.

Well here is mine!

So here we have mine! (It's terrible, I know...) We have a nice grilled sandwich made with LOVE. The sandwich is called the CHINA DONT CARE TO MAKE SUCH A DELICIOUS SANDWICH.

Here's a closeup HD shot!

We have some Grandpa Taswell's berries on the side. So yea, there's my entry!

Note: the ketchup was suppose to look like the giantbomb logo, but I failed...

Note2: There's a refreshing cup of water on the side! With a straw for your convience.

@SexyToad: Did you just toast your bread and put the stuff inside or is it grilled? The reason I ask is because I have tried many times to make what is essentially a grilled cheese with other things inside like ham and other meats, but I can never seem to keep it together. The cheese melts onto the topping it has right on top of it, but when I go to flip it always falls apart. Thought you might have a suggestion to help if you grilled it. My only work around thus far has been lots of cheese on both sides, but that just makes the whole thing pointless because the cheese over powers the other toppings.

@crusader8463: I grilled it. I usually butter up the bread so it won't stick at all. To flip I usually place a spatula underneath and place my hand on top, so it wouldn't fall apart. As long as it's not to thick, it shouldn't fall apart. Cheese is usually messy, so I add that halfway so it will melt quicker.

I'm probably going to hell for making a pun of a pun, but this was the only thing I could think of right now. Sorry for the grainy photo but it's late and I have no real light source in my room. I call it:

Breaking Bread

As of this posting this is a winning entry. Hopefully this will be some consolation, owner of a Sony handheld system

My wife is gone over the weekend which means I am able to use all my culinary might to do something special:

Vinny Caravella's Pile of Shame!

It's half a baguette cut open filled with gyros and fries. Top with corn, beans, emmentaler and feta cheese. Melt it! I put some salad and onions on there because I'm not an animal. Eat with a can of tzaziki and ketchup. Bon appetit, you effers!