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I Became Small

My chest is aching. My opinion caused a back lash of insults and harsh words which in response I became small. I was back in high school again. I was once again the girl that was talked about and was the subject of rumors. Sexualized, laughed at, and easily beaten. I made matters worse by feeding in to the bullying. Then I remembered that I just had to walk away. To stop my self from taking it all in and accepting it all as truth I had to walk away. Tonight, I became small and I cracked. I don’t want others to think of me in such poor light but I have to accept my fear. I am not okay tonight but tomorrow is going to be brand new. I have a picture of just a glimpse of what was said. I won’t sensor it or hide their names because they aren’t ashamed to put this out there. All I said was that I didn’t think it was gay for a man to wear a choker. I do admit that I did feed into it and tried to defend myself. I could do nothing to help my self. And I had no one helping me. This was high school. I refuse to go back to that place. I have apologized on that post for my part and for any rudeness I had towards them. It’s the new year, we have to become better then who we were and we have to start somewhere.