Saturday, July 10, 2010

My new hobby of Dudeing

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS FAIRLY LIBERAL AND BY NO MEANS IS INTENDED TO OFFEND ANYONE.

I've grown up pretty girl crazy. I've never been fearful of the thought of kissing a girl. When other boys ran away in fear of getting coodies when a girl came close, I sadly had to pretend that I too was scared in order to keep my title as a respectable male. I know I like girls and that will never change. That's probably why I have no problem when my roommates and I crack lame jokes about us being gay. Obviously we're not, but it's always funny just the same. Well.... Almost always funny.

So Brett and I and a few of the other guys wanted to go see a movie after work on Saturday. Since we hardly ever got to go out, we decided to dress up for the occassion, especially if it meant increasing our chances of attracting the young señoritas that might be there.

Unfortunately though, when we got to the theater, they were practically sold out. Rather than buy crappy tickets and end up straining our necks from looking up into the screen, we decided to go look for a new toy remote control helicopter for Brett since his had just broke. We first went to Target and then onto Walmart but couldn't find the one we were looking for. While in walmart, I joked to Brett that we were definitely one of the better looking couples in the store. We laughed and then hopped into the car to head to a new store. But while in route to the mall, we saw a petmart and decided just to run inside to see if they had a cool, non-smelly pet we could get for the apt.

Brett asked if he could hold a snake and the girl gladly pulled one out and stuck it in the palm of Brett's hand. I noticed the questioning looks she was giving us and just smiled. Brett on the other hand, was completely oblivious to this when he turned to me and asked, "Should we get this for our apt?" and then "Do you want to hold the snake?"A little embarressed I just took the snake and held it on my palm. Without thinking, Brett started stroking it gently while I was still holding it. I tried giving it quickly back to the girl but I knew from the grin on the girl's face that it was too late. She thought we were gay. We left and I pointed out what had just happpened and had a pretty good laugh. But our night wasn't over yet. Still looking for a helicopter, we were pretty excited when we saw a store called, "Hobby Lobby." That place had to have a helicopter. Let's just say as soon as we walked past the automatic doors we realized that if there was a perfect gay store, that was it. We had no idea that it was an Arts & Crafts store. We booked it out of there as fast as our feminine hienies would let us.

We finally made it to the mall and to the kiosk where they sold helicopters. The first thing the guy selling them said to me once he identified us as potential buyers was, "So you buying this for your companion or for you?"

Having such a questioning night led us needing a major ego boost to our Man-esteem. Fortunately we were Man-ded we ran into a team at the mall dressed up like the Ghostbusters from "Ghostbusters." we asked to take a picture with them but they told us that the mall security wouldn't let them but I'f we met them at their car outside that we could. Brett an I sprinted out to his car and then drove around to where they told us only to be majorly disappointed when we saw security driving up to them on segways just as fast. Thinking that our photo oppertunity was lost, we got out anyway to see why security was kicking 'em out. Much to our giddy surprise though, they weren't. They just wanted a picture too. So after we took a photo for them, they took one for us. Night complete.

We called our night dude-ing in order to help us laugh at it, and finished the evening by going back to the apt and watching a movie cuddled close together around Brett's computer cause we don't have a TV and his speaker's only project about a foot worth of sound. I tried calling a bunch of girls that night but none of them picked up.

Well, it was a night that i'm still not sure if I should try to forget. Either way though, I'm never going to assume someone is gay just based on the fact that he's with another guy. Now if they're petting a snake together than.....