I'm new to this chatroom and fairly new to depression. I had my first bout last year and started a medication that made me feel better but unfortunately discontinued it prematurely because I was feeling better. I felt really good for almost a year and then the depression came back even stronger. I have been taking a different medication (Effexor) for three weeks because the medication I took before did not seem to help this time. I am meeting with a psychologist once a week but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I don't think she specializes in depression so like me is grasping at straws to help me. The two common factors around both of my experiences with depression were my fears around the stability of a new business and looking into by biological roots (I was adopted as an infant). My business was not successful so we closed it a month ago. I am married and have two children who are 8 and 10 years of age. My husband has been supportive but I really feel I am letting him and my children down. I have been feeling particularly low the last two days and recovery seems very far away right now. I have started to isolate myself from friends and I dread going out in my community in case I see customers from my failed business (many customers were not able to utilize the time that they had prepaid for). When I am feeling well, I am very extroverted and have a positive attitude. How I feel now is so incredibly alien to me. I feel emotionally flat most of the time and experience bouts of crying through out each week. I was impressed with the honesty and bravery of others who could share their stories and the words of support that others in similar situation gave. Thank you for allowing me to share with you all.

Hi Antonette. I too suffer from depression and was also adopted as an infant. I have found my biological family and that put alot of question to rest. I truly believe there is a whole spiritual issue regarding rejection that adoptees go through but that's another topic. Back to the depression, I had a book recommended to me called "Feeling Good" by ? Burns I think and I learnt alot of techniques in it. As for your failed business, please try not to be so hard on yourself, nobody is perfect and these things happen. When you look at some former customers you may be thinking that they are thinking about their lost services when really they are feeling bad for you. I pray you find relief and happiness again real soon God Bless, Softy

joeboot said...Tis the season for depression fa la la la la, la la, la la. It is a time of reflection, like it or not. We miss people, we analyze our lives, this is all very normal healthy even, if you organize and file these thoughts feelings and memories in a constructive way, just remember You are in charge of this process and be careful not to let your mind wonder into dark spiralling wasteful negativity. Hold on to those reins girl you are in command of your destiny. Pray to God for guidence every minute if that's what it takes. About your past business, the important thing is you tried(more than some people ever do, kudos, you are strong and adventurous) and I would imagine learned, alot. What would you do differently next time, take down notes. Even if you never go into business for yourself again, your findings may quite possibly help, maybe even save someone else. Make sure your notes come from the creative and constructive realm and not out of pain and fear. Love yourself, you are the goods. Peace be with you and your family, you have each other's love to see you through and believe me that is a LOT more than some can say. Heal. God bless you in your time of need and always.