What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don't spook until you're spoken to.

What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet.

How does a ghost say goodbye to a vampire? So long, sucker!

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin goblin.

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? Because everyone was a goblin!

What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice Scream.

What's a monster's favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.

How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.

Why don't skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin's circumference by it's diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sour puss.

What does a vampire fear the most? Tooth decay.

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash [!].

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat . . . no thank you."

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It's good for the bones.

How do monsters know what the future holds for them? They read their horror-scopes.

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want--it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday.