Legal humor. Seriously.

Posts from October 2007

October 26, 2007

The BBC reports that Sid Shaw, who runs "Elvisly Yours," a memorabilia shop in central London, and Harold Cohen, who runs the Beatles museum next door, have settled their legal dispute over the use of the Elvisly Yours basement.

The settlement clears the way for Shaw to start a new business in that space, which will operate Elvis-themed karaoke tours featuring open-topped tour buses staffed by singing Elvis impersonators. And just in time for the holidays.

Shaw and Cohen have a joint lease for the space, which is on Baker Street and so probably not too far from some type of Sherlock Holmes nonsense. Shaw contended that Cohen's Beatles store was not paying its share of the rent and that Cohen had breached the terms of an agreement to remodel the basement of the Elvis store. He wanted Cohen out in time for the 30th anniversary of Elvis's death, so that Shaw could have a party there for that occasion as well as to commemorate his wife, who apparently died earlier this year. But a judge denied Shaw's motion for an injunction, so his Elvis/dead-wife commemoration party had to go forward in the regular Elvisly Yours space in August.

The report this week is that the case settled on the day of trial, after Cohen agreed to vacate the basement and instead use a location across the street. The remaining terms of the settlement were confidential.

Shaw, who reportedly wore actual blue suede shoes for court appearances, told the BBC that "perhaps Mr. Cohen is 'all shook up.' Hopefully now he'll 'let it be.'" In my mind, he was then immediately struck and killed by an open-topped tour bus shaped like a yellow submarine and staffed by Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band impersonators.

October 25, 2007

Representatives of the Boston Beer Company, brewers of "Samuel Adams" beer, sent a letter last week to two radio hosts in Portland objecting to their registration of two Web addresses that used the name "Sam Adams" (also a company trademark). The letter demanded that they surrender the addresses to the company.

It turns out that the radio hosts registered the Web addresses in support of a mayoral candidate -- who happens to be named "Sam Adams" -- and promised to give them to Adams if he appeared on their show. He did. The campaign apparently has not been contacted directly yet, but Adams' staff said they were consulting attorneys. "They say they've been using this trademark since 1984," Adams said today. "I've been using it since 1963."

A spokesperson for Boston Beer said the company did not know there was a real "Sam Adams" running for mayor of Portland when it sent the letter. Upon learning of the reality of Sam Adams, she suggested that the company would be willing to discuss the real Adams' use of his own name on his Web sites "for the length of the time the election is being held."

The station has responded by broadcasting what it said was the sound of a listener pouring a bottle of Samuel Adams into a toilet.

October 23, 2007

An Indiana Law School case book died last week in a hail of gunfire, according to reports today from the Wall Street Journal's Law Blog and elsewhere.

A third-year law student at Indiana was arrested last week and charged with criminal recklessness after an incident in which he fired at least two rifle rounds from the balcony of his apartment in Bloomington. (Do two rounds qualify as a "hail"? Well, close enough.) Police investigators said the man had an AR-15 and an AK-47 in his apartment, though the report did not say whether investigators had linked either one of those weapons to the shooting. The victim, a casebook entitled "Real Estate Transfer, Finance, and Development: Cases and Materials," was found lifeless in the parking lot of the apartment complex, pierced by two bullets, and mourned by no one.

Let's be thankful that no one else was harmed in the incident, but let's also take it as a warning that some action needs to be taken to better protect our nation's law students. Clearly, "Real Estate Transfer" is much too thin to hide behind at only 1248 pages -- even with hardcovers, this was not nearly enough to stop a bullet. It's probably not practical to add many more pages, so we should consider making the contents even more dense to give our students a fighting chance.

Maybe we can make the covers out of depleted uranium.

The shooter has been suspended, barred from campus, and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, all of which suggests that the judge in Bloomington has never actually had to read a 1248-page casebook called "Real Estate Transfer, Finance, and Development: Cases and Materials."

Sources report that the D.C. Commission on Selection and Tenure of Administrative Law Judges has voted not to reappoint Roy Pearson for another term as an administrative law judge.

Pearson caused both outrage and (among amateur legal humorists) delight by suing his local dry cleaners for $65 million dollars in a claim based on a pair of lost pants and a "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign. (Pearson later said he would not claim damages for the pants, which reduced the stated value of his claim to only $54 million.) Pearson lost, but is appealing. The dry cleaners has since closed.

The commission members declined to comment after their 90-minute meeting on Monday, but sources "who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the case" confirmed that the vote had gone against Pearson. The decision is not final until the commission drafts a letter formally notifying Pearson, a letter that sources said might go out early next week.

Pearson, of course, can be expected to appeal an adverse decision. That case would likely be consolidated in the D.C. Court of Appeals with Pearson's appeal of his loss in the dry-cleaning case.

Variety magazine reported on Sunday that Paramount Pictures and (appropriately) MTV Films have bought the film rights to the story of Joseph Frederick, the Alaska high school student who was suspended for unfurling a banner near his school saying "BONG HITS 4 JESUS." As reported previously, Frederick's First Amendment challenge to the suspension reached the U.S. Supreme Court, resulting in a split decision that affirmed the school district's decision.

The producers also bought film rights from Frank Frederick, the student's father, and Doug Mertz, the local attorney who took his case and who will be the hero of the film.

No, wait -- it's the clients. "The tone is 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,'" about a young man standing up for his rights," said Michael Shamberg, who with his partner Stacey Sher also produced "Erin Brockovich," about a young woman standing up for others' rights, and "Freedom Writers," about somebody standing up for somebody's rights in a film nobody saw. "Bong Hits" will also be about a father standing up for his son's right to stand up for his rights -- according to the article, Frank Frederick "would not force his son to drop the case, and he was fired from his job," although it wasn't clear why an insurance adjuster would get fired over an unrelated First Amendment case.

Mr. Frederick and his son now teach English in China, where they have no free-speech rights to worry about.