Whew! Superwinded, body still fighting off some residual sickness and chest congestion.

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A few days ago, when I was still sick as a dog, my wife showed me a picture of myself from August when we were on vacation. I was lean and big. It was really depressing.

Right then and there, I felt like giving up. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. I made some changes after August to accomodate the fact that I was walking the dog every morning (because my wife hurt her foot on vacation) and no longer training in the AM. As a result, the September to November period of training was not as productive as I'd like.

Well, I shouldn't say that, the training continued to go well, but the mass gain did not. I really feel that I put on mostly fat the last 3 months due to dietary changes I made. Especially after looking at the picture from August. Seriously, it looked as if I hadn't put on any fat at that point. So when my wife showed me the picture, I felt fat, and of course, really sick. I thought, "What is the point?" I am spending tons on groceries, whey, and BCAA's and for what? A puny local bodybuilding contest?!?

Go back a few months and I was trying to figure out what to pose to. After having thought I'd picked out my song, I realized it was utter crap and I couldn't pose to it. I needed to pick something God honoring. As HardCory frequently reminds me by his posts, God is what gives me the ability and drive to do what I do. The culmination of all of this work needs to be an offering to him. So I chose a song which I believe will honor him and be tons of fun to pose to.

Realizing that I have invited lots of people to the show and that I am doing it for God, gave me the strength to continue. I wouldn't ever quit training, but I was close to giving up on the prep which is so much more involved. I only admit this to further motivate me. I am not proud of my moment of contemplating quitting. I don't want to be a quitter. I also thought about how that might make my wife and children think of me. I don't want them to view their father as someone how doesn't follow through on things. My oldest son especially doesn't need to see that as he is already not a very motivated person. If his dad quits, it will just give him an excuse to quit when the going gets tough.

Not giving up, 129 days until I step on stage and honor God.

__________________James 1:16-17 ESVDo not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights With God's help...Mens sana in corpore sano