Babe Magnet: The Batmoboil

Whoa. Batman logo with tinyperkynipples, on a Chrysler Minivan no less. Let’s all scream, “PARTYMOBILE!” Bijonce and her sister Charlondra be gonna jump de bones of the driver of this dragon wagon, assuming they can see over the hood to appreciate the majesty of it all.

Of course the neighborhood girls are way underage, and the only way they’d see the attraction is if Bozoman personally lifted them higher than his blood alcohol level x the height of the hood ornament. Fortunately Bozoman can’t, and has to rely on subterfuge to get his prey into the Mommyvan. Fortunately for Bijonce and her sister, they’re both armed with tasers and the bone-breaking physical paybacks of the self-defense kind.

This conundrum leaves Bozoman with nothing but his two Bozofriends and a couple of quarts of beer. Since no significant otter, either outside or inside of Bozoman’s Mommyvan, can view the Batmoboil Logo, the only way the lame-o paintjob boosts this embarrassing piece of dorkness to the level of Babe Magnet is in the mindvapors of Bozoman himself.