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I finally decided to make an LP. And to follow the codex glorious tradition I’m gona LP a weabbo RPG with tasteful stuff on it. It’s a game from Elf, makers of some classics like Knights of Xentar. It was originally developed in ’93 for some old systems like PC98, and received a remake for windows in the ’99 (with the fan-translation I’m gona play); it also spawned a hentai anime series.
The gameplay is kinda simple; First-Person real-time dungeon crawler, a mole shows in the screens and you pop it with you hammer/axe/sword whatever, level-up and stuff.
The plot is quite simplistic but gets a nice twist later on. Well, I hope my first lp is not to terrible.

LET’S PLAY … WORDS WORTH (NSFW)

Well, first screen. I start a new game and an animu intro starts.

The narrator explains that the world is divided between the tribe of shadows (they live underground, have long lifespans, and are mostly non-human) and the tribe of light (the usual boring surface dwellers), and in the past a stone relic called words worth divided the two realms, maintaining the peace.

But then the stone was broken, and the tablets composing it scattered. Each tribe blamed the other for this and war started between the two tribes.

After the intro we get to name our hero, but following the translators warning we will not touch anything (this fucker is buggy).

The hero’s name will be Astro.
After this we get another short video, where Astro has a dream where he sees a mysterious blue ``ceiling´´, and wakes up in his room.

The game’s interface is pretty simple, with the usual XP, level and HP indicators (there is no mana or magic).
There are 2 inventory screens, one for spendable items:

And another one for the more permanent ones:

As well as the equipment screen:

But… It was so real…

I should tell my father about my dream… He knows everything… It’s just a dream though… … Nevermind… I’m sure I can ask him advice. But I can already hear him… ``What on earth is that?!´´ He scares me sometimes… … Let’s do it, or I will never know if that exists…

-I told you already many times. You are an important person here. You are my son, the prince… Got it?

-Yes, I’m an important person.

-Is it painful?

-You can’t imagine!

-It’s strange; I don’t feel that kind of effect.

(Astro seems to be a bit )

-Anyway, as my son, you are an important person to me, of course… Even if we are unable to communicate in an intelligent way.
-I have to tell you… The tribe of Light as started and assault against our western outpost.

-I heard there are beautiful women among them.

-What!!! You are thinking about their women? Have you forgotten that Sharon is your fiancée?!

-Because you overprotect me, Sharon has no respect for me.

-Did she say something bad to you?

-If the way she talks to me. She always makes me feel guilty for not being a swordsman to defend the tribe.

-Besides the fact that she became a beautiful woman, she improved greatly her skills in battle. She helped the tribe of Shadow to survive.

-If you appreciate her so much… You should marry her yourself.

...

...

-Before the hostilities began, the average lifespan of the soldiers from the tribe of Light was of 150 years, now it’s not more than 80 years. The people of the tribe of Shadow can live for 500 years… How can they believe the will defeat us? Hahaha haa ha!!

-I heard the tribe of light is bigger, though…

-Who told you that??!

-Stallion.

-Eh… He doesn’t say stupid things all the time.

-I’m not willing to encourage a horse to spread false rumors. Our people is already frightened.

-You can’t deny the tribe of Light is twice bigger than us… If this war continues we will lose it.

-How… How dare you!?

-Calm down, no need to shout! -What is good is… to have both clans coexist
-It’s certainly possible. 150 years ago we had an agreement with them. Each clan avoided the other clan’s territory and everything was fine.

-Oh you already told me that many times. -Tribe of Light broke that agreement and started a grand scale invasion.
If I’m laughing is because we are supposed to be the bad guys in history… You get it?

-Eh… Have you finished to tell the story again?

-Mmm?… Mmm.. -Mmm... I worry about something. It happened last night and I was thinking about asking you.

-I guess you are lacking pocket money again. After all, you are an adult now, you have needs.

Astro received 100 gold pieces!!

-Oh, thank you very much!! -I think this amount will be enough for a while. -Eh… actually I wanted to talk to you about something else.

-…Don’t tell me you lost you ring?

-Ring?... Oh the one you gave me long ago? -Never forget what I said. Whatever happens you must not remove that ring from your finger. .. ...

(I seriously hope he is not talking about one of those kwa purity rings)

Tired of the senseless conversation we leave the room.
The palace itself is quite small. The throne itself and a few rooms, and the gate to the exterior, with low level mobs roaming around.

We check the map, which shows the explored area. The pink circles are NPCs, and doors appear in yellow. It’s very important to explore every square in the map to avoid getting stuck, since there are items lying in the floor, and secret doors will appear in the map.
Time to explore the rooms. From the 4 rooms, only two of them have anything of interest.

...
Sharon and I discussed often about our dreams here. But we don’t do it anymore…
I wish I could go back in time and feel again her kindness…

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

Sharon rarely dares to approach me and talk freely.
She decides to consider herself as a vassal…
…

In my room I can do several things…

(Like saving the game,You have to find a place to rest to shave the game).

…

-Well, I’m fully invigorated.

We exit the main room and get to the entrance. We met someone there.

-Hey Chief He hee heeee… heee.-Your laugh is really creepy, you know.-No one would imagine that Sharon could appear… so defenseless… Hee hee heee.-What..?-I was taking a guest to the visitor’s room, but he opened the wrong room. It was Sharon’s room. It wasn’t locked and we saw her changing her clothes…-What? What did you see exactly?-Let’s say we caught her in the middle of the act… Heee heee heee (… Sharon…naked!!) -Sharon is so beautiful when she’s naked. The color of her skin is really lovely. The sweat on her chest too…

(Being a skeleton, his sex life must suck bad)

-Does she forget to lock the door often?......-It’s a pity that your relationship with her is bad. Being her fiancé, you would have the right to watch her!!
Oh, duty is calling, I have to leave!!

We head outside and we see this.

The chick is Sharon, the other 2D figure next to her is Stallion (a very codexian guy) and that green thing is a monster, a slime or ghost (enemies appear in 3D). Whenever you enter most rooms, the enemies inside will respawn, and there is also some kind of scaling, tougher mobs will appear as you level, but within logical limit (No oblivion retardery, the scaling feels ok).
When you go to an upper level (after all we live in a deep dungeon system)new and tougher foes appear.

But now let’s talk to Sharon.
Thankfully Astro’s fiance is a perfectly normal looking chick. Despite being from the tribe of Shadow she is not a furry, or a loli-succubus-catgirl or an undead.
And no, she is not a futa (aka Tranny, aka Codexian girl).
Unfortunately for Astro...

-Ah… Sharon, you’re always beautiful.--Flattering me will take you nowhere. I like strong men, not flattering men.

-I’m strong too!-Ah ah ah ah!! ..You really think a man who never fought the tribe of Light can be called strong? -You know what my father said to me… ``Astro, I don’t want you to expose yourself´´ -Let me tell you it’s a lame excuse.

Fear not fellow codexers! This is a true RPG, with tons of c&c, MCA level writing, tactical thinking, radiant everything…
We even get to choose our response ( Bioware c&c Mode: On)

(I’m too lazy to try the other response)

-Eh… I don’t believe you. These are just words.-Don’t say that.-I will be clear. I won’t marry a man who is weaker than me. Got it?...
Marriage involves love… Not strength.
I already understood her message. Since she gave me a leather armor and a wooden shield as a birthday present…
I understand she is expecting actions rather than words…
…

(I have played quite a few RPGs, but this one has a very clever way of encouraging you to grind and advance.YOU ARE A TOTAL WIMP. IF YOU WAN’T TO GET LAID GRIND MOTHERFUCKER, GRIND!!

Thankfully grinding is easy and doesn’t consume much time, monsters are fast to kill and easy to find, overall becoming tougher is not as frustrating as in most weaboo grindfests. But if you are careless they can still kill you too)

Now lets talk to the gentleman over there.

(Andy?)

DAT HORSE

(I told you they did some animu about this)

-Hi, Stallion.

-Eh, hum, what do you mean?

-Heeeee, you pretend you don’t understand me?

...

(I will not wholly transcribe all the dialogs, or I will end up as crazy as RK47 and I would end up celebrating Stallion’s birthday)

The game has (highly censored) porn in it, and although Astro is kinda derpy, Stallion adds the RANCE factor the game soo much needs.
And except for Astro’s voice, the dialog is fully voiced, including all the horsetalk (heeeeee heee hee) and the Kyaaaaa of their women, remember it when the tasteful stuff starts.

Not too far we met another guy. Not sure if he is just fat or if he is a Pigman.

This guy is Tessio, the King's righthand.

-Then, be more cheerful… Prince Astro.

Well, time for some combat. The fighting is simple. You approach the enemy or let it come at you, and by pressing the button of awesome you hit them.
One of the monsters we will met in this floor is the slime/ghost:

By killing things the XP bar (blue, under the HP bar) fills until you level up.
The first monsters are slow, and is quite easy to avoid their attacks by backpedaling and stunlock them. Later they become a bit too fast for that, by then having good level/equipment is important.

With the money you acquire you buy better equipment. The first shops are in front of the palace. For the next update (I hope tomorrow) I will pop some moles, level a couple of times (leveling is very fast at the beginning) and get enough gold to afford a decent weapon.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

Before getting serious we go back to take a nap and heal the few scraches we got, as well as to save the game.
Unfortunately, some thoughts are keeping Astro from resting.

Zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzz

[?????????] .....................

-(In the dream) Who is there!??

.....

-What do you want from me?

............?????????

-COCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!

-aAAAGhhhhh!!!!!
-Leave me alone!!

...

-ZZzzzzzz

-Strip your pants!!!!!!!! -Noooooooo!

... -ZZZZZzzz.......-...sigh........I'm a loser,I'm never going to get laid.

[???????]-Problem with women?

- Who is it now?

[?????]- Call me...-Doctor Love!!-The first thing you need to get women is to become MAJESTIC!!
-Look at yourself now. You are the biggest loser I ever met. You aren't even Level 1, your level is 0!!

-How do I become MA..J..JES...TI...TIC??

-... It might be a bit difficult for you. But there is an easier way to get pussy.-What!? -Remeber what the horse said? No sane chick will fuck with a horse, but the prison has defenseless women on it, you could just...you know......-Sigh, you could tastefully...-I can't do something like that!!-Well, then...

-COCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!

...

[??????]-Leave him alone foul sipirits!

-And he is not ready for your lessons yet Doc.

-Who are you? -I'm the one who will teach you to become MAJESTIC
-We will start with the basics.
-I will teach you to unlock and understand the Unbroken Circle of Majesticness, but is up to you to **Know** it's lessons.

-First circle: The teachings of... (Whisper)

Awaken

-.....Pope-A-Mole?

...

After this weird dream, we go back outside. And we are confronted by our enemies.

When I was talking about Pop-A-Mole I was talking exactly about this:

(They love hiding underground when you attack them)

But they are easy to kill, easier than the slimes, at least.

-For some reason I feel stronger.
(whisper) In **knowing** the teachings of Pope A Mole, I have become stronger.??

No time to waste, those moles aren't going to pop themself.

To the next mole we give the old Pop-a-mole,

Then another,

Then another,

...

After getting to level 2 (Astro is so lame that he starts as a level 0) spiders join the party. They are dangerous at low levels, but their attacks are slow and avoidable.

After getting to level 2 and getting more than 500gold pieces (in 5’) it’s time to go shopping.
First stop weapon shop:

-Do you need a better weapon?
...I warn you, even if you are the prince, you have to pay.
…Or did you bring an unused weapon? …In that case I will buy it for sure.

In this case we pick the (2handed) +11 Str Axe for 400 Gold, for maximum damage. (Unfortunately this shop doesn't have hammer, they would be far more fitting for our current task)

-Take care and come again.

This is the item shop, with the usual healing stuff. We don’t need those yet.

Thankfully the medusa shop owner is not the uglyIturnyouintostone kind, but she loves teasing us with promises of fresh milk.

Next stop armor shop:

-No milk, thanks!!

-I’m sure Wotoshika will be angry because of your decision (not sure of what he is talking about). I strongly suggest you purchase a strong armor, at least, in order to survive his anger.

He only has a shield (that we don’t currently need), and a hardened leather armor. The axe has left us with no cash, so after some mole holocaust we gather the money and buy the armor.

After getting the best equipment in this level we decide to explore and get some levels. (again, it will take like 5 minutes)

We explore the surrounding and kill stuff rapidly hitting level 4. Currently we can kill the spiders (the strongest foes so far) in one hit, and they can barely hurt us. Still we have to be careful, since the monsters love attacking you in all directions, and by now Astro’s health is low.

-I better rest a bit now and continue exploring once healed up.

This time there are no dreams. Time to explore the level more seriously. Following the western wall we get in to this door:

We get into a small room with some monster, some gold and a couple of doors.
We cross it and get to a large corridor.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

Now I must warn you, the game is kinda weird with the tastefull stuff. The content itself is pretty normal for hentai, but most of the time we are limited to see others do it (usually Andy's cousin, at least he is funny), and Astro doesn't get much pussy. For example there is only a miniescene with Sharon (One of the main heroines) when you chose her ending, you are limited to see her tits otherwise. And the censorship... You shall see.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

He keeps going about how cruel the tribe of Shadow is, and how well they treat the prisoners. But that doesn’t stop him from threatening to kill us. Plus they are the intruders.
The tribe of Love and Tolerance.

With nothing else to do, we leave the prison and travel south, following the wall.
We reach a warehouse.

There is lot of rusty armors and sword. It’s rather like a waste repository than a warehouse.

We explore the warehouse.

What is this?

-300 Gold Pieces.
Is written on a sheet of paper.

-Oh, a very old debt.

We rip the paper and keep exploring. There are several small rooms in the warehouse.
There are few interesting things, 100gold in a room and some healing herbs.
And in one of the rooms…

??????????????

After this we leave the warehouse and check the map.

A new pink spot has appeared next to the prison entrance. That means that an NPC got there. We go check who it is.

Well, you know what is coming next.

We move back to the warehouse, and in the room with the smell…

Seems like he is doing some ``interrogation´´

-Who is the one who destroyed the tablet? Who?

-Aaaaaaah!.....Aaaaaah!...

(Remember when I said the game was fully voiced? Well this part is priceless)

-HEEEEEEE!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

After this he makes the chick go back to her cell.

Wow, someone now how to expend some superfun time.
But I don’t think father likes this kind of things. Should I tell him about Stallion??
Anyway I still wanted to ask him about my dream.

We go back to the throne room.

-GTFO Tessio

M:

Although the thought of a horseman raping prisoners is not a very nice one, we won’t rat him out. Instead we ask father about the dream:

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.

With the grace of God, King of The Svears, the Goths and Vends, Grand Duke of Finland, Duke of Scania, Estonia, Livonia, Karelia, Bremen, Verden, Stettin, Pomerania, Kassuben and Venden, Duke of Rügen, High Lord of Ingria and Wismar, Pfalz Count of the Rhine, in Bavaria, and the Jülich, Cleves and Duke of Berg. Lord Protector of Valdens, Spanheim, Mark and Ravensburg and Lord of Ravenstein.

"This dick is an amazing dick that has pleasured countless women. It's on a different scale of size, strength, and durability than your average loser's dick. It's truly a dick among dicks." -Rance, Ally of Justice.