January 20, 2015

This sounds like an egotistical question but it is not. Are you the best master or slave there is? If you are not, why is that so? What is it that causes you to believe that others are better than you? In short, why do you feel the way you do about yourself and hold the present beliefs that exist within you?

I ask these questions without regard to what segment of the lifestyle you find yourself drawn to. Whether one is into pain, total slavery, hardcore use, sensual activity, hucow, or any other aspect of this way of life, the questions hold the same. In your area of interest, are you the best person there is?

It is a simple fact that many of the results we achieve in life and what we are able to manifest are direct results of what we continually focus our attention upon. At the same time, the beliefs we hold also steer our actions because they are ingrained determining factors which enable us to draw conclusions about situations or people. Sadly, the person we do this the most with is the one we see in the mirror each day.

The problem I see is too many have a poor image of themselves. That is the reason for the idea of questioning if you are the best. This exercise is an internal one meant to enlarge your concept of the wonder that is within you. Certainly, I am not advocating being pompous or acting like a total ass. We see way too much of this online. However, the person who has a healthy self image about him or herself will parlay that into all actions. This includes the interactions with those in the BDSM world.

Before going any further, I must state that none of us is perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect slave or master. We are all flawed and have things to learn. There is yet to be a person involved in BDSM who knew everything there was to know. Thus, each of us can be considered a work in progress. That is why I believe that BDSM is all about growth. That is the central tenet of this way of life (of life itself actually).

The idea of holding ourselves, inside, as the best is that it instantly raises our standards. We know the online BDSM community is filled with morons and liars. These people are not even in the conversation when it comes to us. We are far greater in worth than those meatheads and we show it through our action. At the same time, we strive to reach greater heights when we have this outlook. If I ask myself, what does the top master in the world (or slave) do in this situation, my conclusion will be far superior than that of one who has a low opinion of himself.

Here is an example of a post I saw. I once read a slave posting about the inability for dominants to deal with rejection. Obviously, we all know the tendency of some to lash out when they are rejected. We know the situation, an email is sent to a potential one and, for whatever reason, she is not interested. In response, she sends an email back saying thanks but no thanks (if she is a submissive of high standing, the ones who arent just ignore it) and guess what happens? Our supposed big, bad dominant has to lash out and tell her what a stupid bitch she is and how dare she not be interested in him. Naturally, this is not how a real man behaves especially one who is dominant. Obviously, our master in this situation cannot help but to get his panties ruffled at the fact that someone who does not even know him said she was not interested. Yet his insecurity led him to have to feel powerful by really "giving her a piece of his mind". Not very dominant is it?

This is a simple example but let us contrast it with another mindset. If I am the best master in the world, how do I react to this situation? To start, my mindset is "her loss". This instantly puts me on a different plane. She is not rejecting me but, rather, making the biggest mistake of her life. Now, remember, this all takes place in my mind. There is no need to tell her any of this because, quite frankly, then I am behaving the same as the other fruitloop. This entire conversation happens in my mind. It enables me to deal with the situation with dignity, honor, and respect. In short, there is no reason to be degrading or argumentative. People make choices for their own reasons and it is not incumbent upon me to understand them all. What I am responsible for is my reaction to what happens.

Another aspect of this idea is that is you are the best master or slave, are you going to accept intolerable behavior? Obviously, the answer is no. However, we see people everyday (read about them online) who engage in the dumbest things because some "master" told them to do it. I know some of this can be attributed to being inexperienced and naive. Nevertheless, there is a point where that ends and stupidity starts. The sad part about all this is there are some who are truly dangerous and BDSM is a wonderful umbrella for them to operate under. In other words, it can be an abusers paradise. One who holds herself up to a higher standard (because she is the best) will not tolerate this behavior. First sign of abusive behavior, either physical or psychological, she hits the road. There is no need to endure the abusiveness or arrogance from the nitwits. This behavior is not BDSM and should never be tolerated.

I hope this post gives you some insight. Begin to hold yourself to a higher standard. This starts with how you view yourself which affects how you interact with others. Also, it is not limited to the selection of whom you relate with. When you have the mindset of the best, you are more apt to improve your skills and knowledge. A slave who believes she is the best will look to render the best service possible. At the same time, the best master will seek to be skilled at all aspect of control. He will not only focus upon the ability to play but, rather, to truly own. We all know bedroom antics are only a small part of the life we lead and one who is serious and BDSM at a deep level will seek to be more.

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Dennis Najee

Dennis Najee is an accomplished author and speaker. He advocates freedom above all else. This is reflected in how he personally chooses to live his life and in all his writings. Sexual Motivation is about to turn the personal development field upside down. This is the first publication that freely tells us to use the natural sexual desires within for accomplishment. Society, in its quest to control, removes this as a viable tool, thus, leading to mediocrity. It is time to reverse that course and claim your rightful place by using what presently exists within you at this moment.
Freedom is a dying animal. The dogma of different entities has weakened us as individuals. Dennis is on a quest to change that. He knows that accessing the powers within us is crucial to our success. He is here to help everyone along with that endeavor.