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zombie cat

Or at least, that’s what the lead-in to this article would have you believe. But what really happened is that he disappeared, and then his owner found a dead cat who looked just like him, assumed it was him, buried it, and moved away. Nine months later the neighbors found Alfie, who was not only not dead but also significantly fatter than he had been before.

So, either Alfie had moved in with another family and was chowing down, or he’s the rare fat zombie cat. One of those.