Tanya Triggs

by: Callum Mitchell

Tanya Triggs is the toast of Truro
The city’s own favourite daughter
In the eyes of the locals, young Tanya’s a goddess
The sort that could tap-dance on water
Yes, Tanya Triggs the ingenious inventor
Tanya the tenacious explorer
Tanya is both a swashbuckling swordswoman
But also, an intrepid reporter…
You see, she dices with death on a near-daily basis
And confronts her fears head-on in dangerous places
Without pausing a jot to consider the risks
Our Tanya’s swum oceans and abseiled off cliffs
She’s slain sinister serpents
Battled butt-ugly beasts
And snatched victory, so often,
From the jaws of defeat…
She’s the queen of adventure
The face of the brave
Young Tanya spent 12 years
Imprisoned a slave
She’s vanquished vicious vampires
She’s grappled gruesome ghouls
She’s wiped out wicked witches
And she’s thwarted feckless fools
She’s tackled evil empires
Brought them crashing to their knees
She’s extinguished burning buildings
And rescued house-pets stuck in trees…
Her achievements are so vast
They must be seen to be believed
One day she saved the world
And still made it home in time for tea…
Yes, Tanya caught the Loch Ness Monster
And toppled the Berlin Wall
Tanya Triggs, why she’s terrific
Tanya’s done it all!

Tanya! Tanya! Tanya! Tanya!
Tanya Triggs is a fantasist
Forever lost in the books that she’s read
She works in Waterstones, where her colleagues
Constantly tell her: ‘it’s all in your head’
But Tanya doesn’t mind this
She doesn’t care they think her mad
She’s been called all sorts of names:
Crazy, bonkers, loopy, sad…
‘These books are my best friends,’ she says
My greatest inspiration
And you can lock me up for being nuts
But you will not arrest my imagination

(Story inspired by Waterstones, Truro. Image by Steve Tanner. Part of Trading Tales at Truro Festival, April 2014)