gravelstudios - 2013-10-05 This is the standard fundy line. I've heard this exact same line of reasoning in more churches than I care to admit. The psychological tactics that Evangelical Fundamentalists use in an effort to bleed at least 10% (and usually more) out of the poorest and sickest people is absolutely reprehensible.

"You need to give US money to give GOD money, and if you keep giving GOD money, at some undetermined point that we won't tell you, GOD will be satisfied and solve all your problems for you...but until he does, keep giving HIM money."

I mean, has ANYONE ever come up with a con this good?

takewithfood - 2013-10-05 The most successful religions actually give you problems you didn't even know you had, like original sin. It's the ultimate extortion racket.

Meerkat - 2013-10-06 Sure. "This invisible magic man in the sky only loves people who have faith in him and therefore can't prove he exists because then you wouldn't be believing in him because you have faith."

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-10-05 I want this man to not die, but get a bunch of horribly painful diseases that his insurance won't cover.

Fuck him. Fuck him with genital warts.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-10-05 There can never be a death painful enough to give Pat Robertson the suffering he deserves.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-10-05 Maybe... If there was some disease he could have that was chronic, had visible symptoms, and was incurable in the short term so it would be painfully obvious he had it.

Any STDs fit the bill?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-10-05 Is there a disease that combines constant liquid shitting in your pants coinciding when you say stupid shit?

That and maybe that Indonesian Tree Guy disease so his face turns into an Ent.

il fiore bel - 2013-10-06 Periodically spreading necrosis of the dickhole preceded by thirty minute long episodes of putrid stenches and a discharge of a cream-cheese-and-broken-glass consistency accompanied by a burning not unlike the scoville heat unit level of Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper.

Just kidding, of course.

.................................*insert troll face*

memedumpster - 2013-10-06 He's a Christian. There is no greater horror the universe can put upon a human lifetime.

PlusDome - 2013-10-06 if you make enough to give %10 of it away, you don't have already don't have financial problems. then you write it off your taxes, bonus.

cognitivedissonance - 2013-10-06 I have zero problem with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism or Buddhism. The mainline five are alright with me.

This, however, is borderline Scientology, and I'll have none of that.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-10-08 right on CG. Oh, and by the way, your blog is awesome, but i wish you had a scanner! Some of them are so blurry and hard to read. Real shame, because they're so charming.

candyheadrobot - 2013-10-06 Give what you need to survive to "God" and he'll suddenly give you the means to survive, only you won't have the means to survive because you've given all your means to "God". "God" also means the guy wearing the nice suit telling you to give your money away. To think that I ever found these people the least bit agreeable is baffling, but when you're indoctrinated not to respect logic, shit looks like it's gold I guess.

il fiore bel - 2013-10-06 and how long should a human tithe until the devourer that needs to be rebuked is rebuked? these people are presumably in their 60s-80s and have been tithing all their lives, so how in the ever holy loving fuck is the total suddenly not enough at this point, and they end up with the shitty end of the stick?

pat robertson you are shitty at basic human compassion among other things

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-10-06 Ugh. I just looked it up, and everyone seems to think his son, Gordon, will take over after his contract with eldrich darkness is up and he dissolves into a cloud of bats once and for all.

And Gordon went to Yale, just like, oh... George W. Bush.

I never thought that the right-wing noise machine's claims about ivy-league schools being bastions of dangerous brainwashing was true, but I'm starting to think they might have a point.