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What do you do when you found someone who brings you joy and hurt at the same time? That is life. It’s not always one thing. It may be simple, what I want, still it’s complex at the same time. That’s why life is always learning. Always a process of discovery. Always a process of falling and getting up on my own. Always a process of knowing when to hold on and to let go. Knowing who and what to hold on and let go. Yesterday, a man said, “wisdom is about acceptance!” Someone who has wisdom accept things or events or whatever that is out of their control. What is out of one’s control? Things that exist outside of us. Other people. People’s reaction or response to us. Events. Yes, we’re part of an event or situation, yet the only thing I can control is myself. Now.. Learning to accept that I have no power over what others may respond is wisdom.

I’m saying this, not meaning I want to achieve wisdom or ultimate wisdom. What I’m saying is, I don’t have this quality. For me, acceptance is a struggle, and if it’s a struggle than its not acceptance.

Even I sometimes or most of the time has no power over my feelings and thoughts. That’s what people say as immature. I don’t know. I simply want to feel happy. I know when I feel happy. I know with who I feel happy. Yet, that’s just one side. When the person I’m with doesn’t feel happy with me around, how can I be happy? Even though I know, I actually have no power over that. I can’t change how people feel or react. People do, feel, think whatever they want or choose. Just like I do. So why do I have to worry actually?

Changing thoughts in my head, changes how I see things, changes how I believe things, and changes my attitudes. Now what?