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Author
Topic: They say Mondays are the worst days of the week (Read 9118 times)

Im a 27 year old student who 3 weeks ago got the message "We found something we didnt like" during a HIV screening.

I was about to start a new job, felt perfectly fine, no symptoms and had a test done just 6 months prior. Like a smack in the face it hit me.

Sunday 20th May, I had problems falling asleep maybe a bit due to the stress due to the new work and I also cried (I usually never) and for some reason I called in sick and asked if I could come in Tuesday instead. At this point I knew something was wrong but I could NEVER imagine it would be due to HIV. Nothing wrong physically but something in my mind told me everything is not alrite.

I text my best friend who came over and supported me Sunday to Monday (remember this was before testing poz). She wanted to go to the hospital to check her up, a routine check and since I was free that day I thought it was best to not only stay at home but to get out, so I went with her. Just to make sure I didnt have any problems, I went along and took some tests as and well, the rest is now history.

She tested neg but was put on post exp prophylaxis. Boy Am I glad about that, cuz we have been intimate, hopefully she will still be neg a few months from now.

Since she knew, I had someone to talk to and give me support and I am forever grateful for that, I had some scary thoughts which could have made me not writing this today.

Fast forward three weeks and Im still down and depressed but I think Im coping okay. I cried, picked my self back up and gone throu that cycle more than a dozen times. I feel like I have accepted the diagnosis but I still need time to myself. Obviously I couldnt take the new job and had to turn it down, this was such a major thing in my life that I had to stop and think.

I already went to see a doctor(HIV specialist) and after discussing options I started on meds right away so Im now 1 week into my regimen of Atripla. No side effects so faar except fatigue during the first 3-4 days.

I always been an adventurer, pushing the limits and trying out new stuff. I never really thought about family life so in that matter the diagnosis havent really changed much, it rather just gave me more confidence to not look back and regret.

What I worry about is my health and life. I stay active, Im rarely sick and I have no other diseases. Doctor checked a whole bunch after testing poz but I just feel like I could drop dead any moment. I have access and funds for top notch treatment thru life but as of now I would be grateful to be able to live another 5-10 years and then I think I would be satisfied with my accomplishments here in life.

Finally I would like to thank all contributing to this forum. It has been a HUGE help in understanding the disease and what to expect even thou we all make different journeys.

Hey common groundSorry to hear you tested poz, glad you have been able to wrap your head around it and can access treatment though. Well done. You've made the best move coming here, I did too when I got my poz news three months ago, and it has been a great help.

You life is gonna be MUCH longer than 5-10 years though, dude... Better keep saving :-)

And don't beat yourself too much up about that job. You will sort out something else, use this time to get your head ready and body fit to fight this bug. Welcome to the forums

And good luck to your lover too. Pep is good. I'll be hoping for her and you.

i keep on reading about people thinking this is a death sentence which it isn't. it's a minor setback but otherwise look at the bright side could be cancer have known many many people that have hiv some as far back as the early 90s it's 2012 now it's a controlled disease before we know it there will be a cure

i keep on reading about people thinking this is a death sentence which it isn't. it's a minor setback but otherwise look at the bright side could be cancer have known many many people that have hiv some as far back as the early 90s it's 2012 now it's a controlled disease before we know it there will be a cure

I keep on reading about know it all motherfuckers thinking this is an easy forum but there's a mean cunt who is ready to eat your face oh my god why doesn't the pain stop is the report to moderator link broken why won't the pain stop?

i keep on reading about people thinking this is a death sentence which it isn't. it's a minor setback but otherwise look at the bright side could be cancer have known many many people that have HIV some as far back as the early 90s it's 2012 now it's a controlled disease before we know it there will be a cure

I'm sickend beyond words with grief for those I have lost forever from Aids , some have past in the last year .

Shortguy's insensitivity is as great as his ignorance and I wish he would stop . He doesn't care if his words are untrue or cause pain to others .

i keep on reading about people thinking this is a death sentence which it isn't. it's a minor setback but otherwise look at the bright side could be cancer have known many many people that have hiv some as far back as the early 90s it's 2012 now it's a controlled disease before we know it there will be a cure

The scope of your lack of empathy or knowledge is simply breath taking. Stop telling us that HIV is no big deal, or that we could have cancer instead, because that means nothing. HIV is a very serious disease, that still kills millions and even though there is treatment, we can provide you with a list of people who still died, so stop being so insensitive. You present your "thoughts" as if they had some validation, which they do not and all you can parrot is what you hear from others.

It would also be nice, if you could show some respect for the members of this forum, by writing like an adult.

kill HIV ISN'T A BIG DEAL THERES ALOT MORE IN LIFE A HELL OF ALOT WORSE THAN THIS. hiv is the most controlled disease people live 4 yrs with it without any problems like i talked to 1 of my friends personally that has hiv since 92 last night about this site he told me he doesn't need others telling him what he already knows and asked me why do i bother talking i'm not the 1 that asks questions on here, especially things i know about already if i have a question i asked the dr he told me like i remember from day 1 the 2 diseases to choose from hiv or cancer. he would take hiv over cancer any day i'm not the type that goes around feeling feeling sorry for myself or asking for sympathies besides i don't need more drama than life has already without those contributing to it " they know who they are " kill do u know for a fact people died trying to live or not taking care of themselves which u can't answer

kill HIV ISN'T A BIG DEAL THERES ALOT MORE IN LIFE A HELL OF ALOT WORSE THAN THIS. hiv is the most controlled disease people live 4 yrs with it without any problems like i talked to 1 of my friends personally that has hiv since 92 last night about this site he told me he doesn't need others telling him what he already knows and asked me why do i bother talking i'm not the 1 that asks questions on here, especially things i know about already if i have a question i asked the dr he told me like i remember from day 1 the 2 diseases to choose from hiv or cancer. he would take hiv over cancer any day i'm not the type that goes around feeling feeling sorry for myself or asking for sympathies besides i don't need more drama than life has already without those contributing to it " they know who they are " kill do u know for a fact people died trying to live or not taking care of themselves which u can't answer

If you would write so I could comprehend you, I would reply. But you won't, so I can't.

What disappoints me about you, is you say insensitive things on the forums and you know they are insensitive, because members have told you so. But instead of apologizing for being insensitive, and then stating your OPINIONS on HIV, etc, you simply ignore anybody's feelings and try and play the victim.

You seem to think you know so much about HIV, well I've been living with it for 27 years, so what could you have to tell me? Your comments are hurtful and not helpful to the members who want to know the truth about HIV and not just your parroted opinions. If you wish to contribute to the forum, you need to show some respect for all the members and stop acting like a child. Seriously, you are an adult and you write like a child. It's hard to read and if you are so lazy, that you can't even present your opinions in a readable fashion, why should any of us respond to you.

We'll just keep pointing out when you claim your opinions to be facts.

Joe

edited to add: another member alerted me to you editing your comment and threatening me, if I did not back off. Very bad move on your part. Your days are numbered.

I wish to apologize for the hijack that occurred in this thread, because it is no reflection on you. Since you just tested poz, your emotions will be all over the map. It's very normal to have all these thoughts and emotions, just try and remember that just because you think something, does not make it true. That feeling of just dropping dead will diminish as you adjust to being poz and gain experience in monitoring your health.

With the medications today and the healthy life style you lead, you will be around for a very long time. I've been poz for 27 years, so don't plan on dying any time soon. Give yourself some time to adjust and for now, just take it slow. There are no right or wrong ways to adjust to being poz, so take care of yourself and believe me, it does get better.

" kill do u know for a fact people died trying to live or not taking care of themselves which u can't answer

If I'm reading this right, which is quite hard by the way, then Joe, like a lot of us here, know quite a few who died while trying for many years to do the right thing and keeping themselves alive, I don't know one who didn't go out fighting, but no matter how much they tried HIV/AIDS got them in the end, so please don't tell us that people are not dying from HIV/AIDS any more, because no matter how hard they try there are time when HIV is just to much for their bodies to take.

So tell those who have lost loved one's in recent years that HIV IS NO BIG FRIGGIN DEAL. I'm sure they will respond to you in their own way.

annie why is it that people i've known has hiv some as far back in the late 80s still alive today, but in perspective in where you are in the world they are in , but i do know and alot that ive been talking to ive seen on here is doing a good job keeping hiv at bay. all i was saying that hiv isn't like it used to be if it was 1982 that was a different story 30 yrs later and some that are on here that has it don't need medicine as ann told them that their immune system is keeping it undetectable. they're considered carriers , the meds today are alot better than they used to be , infact i had a friend i went to the dr with a close friend of mine his v/ls were in the millions and his hep. b was so high that the machine couldn't read, now his v/ls is lower than mine like the dr we have told us he had patients that had hiv where their cd4 levels were in the single digits below 10 and doing well , all I was saying I'm not looking at myself as a victim or looking for sympathies but face facts if we all protected ourselves like we should of we wouldn't be having this discussion

, the meds today are alot better than they used to......................but face facts if we all protected ourselves like we should of we wouldn't be having this discussion

. The facts are that most people with HIV do not have access to meds, even in the US. So yes, HIV is a big deal. And your comments are insensative. We have all faced the fact that we did not protect ourselves, so what? That changes nothing. We still have HIV. You comments suggest that we deserved this and kinda pisses me off.

One more thing, how about breaking your comments into legible sentences?

annie why is it that people i've known has hiv some as far back in the late 80s still alive today, but in perspective in where you are in the world they are in , but i do know and alot that ive been talking to ive seen on here is doing a good job keeping hiv at bay. all i was saying that hiv isn't like it used to be if it was 1982 that was a different story 30 yrs later and some that are on here that has it don't need medicine as ann told them that their immune system is keeping it undetectable. they're considered carriers , the meds today are alot better than they used to be , infact i had a friend i went to the dr with a close friend of mine his v/ls were in the millions and his hep. b was so high that the machine couldn't read, now his v/ls is lower than mine like the dr we have told us he had patients that had hiv where their cd4 levels were in the single digits below 10 and doing well , all I was saying I'm not looking at myself as a victim or looking for sympathies but face facts if we all protected ourselves like we should of we wouldn't be having this discussion

I think I am reading this right... Are you saying your friend was born in 1982 and invented some kind of time machine so we can all go back and undo our mistake?

jgs u don't know the difference between hiv and aids , let me tell you the difference hiv is when cd4 levels is above 200 where aids is below 200 jgs i found it humorous , as they say humor is the best medicine i still see myself still alive when i found out last yr of the infection knew then it wasn't a death sentence known about hiv for over 10 yrs b/c some of my closest friends have it

sshortguy1 just put the shut to the up. You are profoundly CLUELESS! IMHO

To the OP. I was dxd in May 2010 with full blown AIDS (CD4-8/VL 500,000). Two years on Atripla my life is on track and I am undetectable, CD4 range 280-330. Diagnoses is a lot to deal with. It takes time to process all of the "what if's" that come with this disease.

HIV/AIDS left untreated is deadly but with treatment your life expectancy will be normal. My suggestion is to get some counseling if it is available to you. I certainly helped me in handling the mental issues which I mostly created myself.

There are many fine people here to answer your questions and help you through various issues. Glad you found us. Sorry you need us.

Logged

Diagnosed in May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

TRIUMEQ - VALTREX - FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE - PRAVASTATIN - CIALIS

Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

jgs u don't know the difference between hiv and aids , let me tell you the difference hiv is when cd4 levels is above 200 where aids is below 200 jgs i found it humorous , as they say humor is the best medicine i still see myself still alive when i found out last yr of the infection knew then it wasn't a death sentence known about hiv for over 10 yrs b/c some of my closest friends have it

Maybe, if you stop treating people, who have been poz for DECADES, as complete imbeciles, as if we don't know the difference between being HIV positive and having AIDS, you may encounter less resistance. Let's see, you have been poz for less than a year, yet you know more than the centuries of experience we have, actually living with and helping other people living with HIV/AIDS. Now that's funny. Pathetic, but funny.

I suggest that we simply stop replying to you, until you learn some manners and respect and stop hijacking threads.

annie why is it that people i've known has hiv some as far back in the late 80s still alive today, but in perspective in where you are in the world they are in , but i do know and alot that ive been talking to ive seen on here is doing a good job keeping hiv at bay. all i was saying that hiv isn't like it used to be if it was 1982 that was a different story 30 yrs later and some that are on here that has it don't need medicine as ann told them that their immune system is keeping it undetectable. they're considered carriers , the meds today are alot better than they used to be , infact i had a friend i went to the dr with a close friend of mine his v/ls were in the millions and his hep. b was so high that the machine couldn't read, now his v/ls is lower than mine like the dr we have told us he had patients that had hiv where their cd4 levels were in the single digits below 10 and doing well , all I was saying I'm not looking at myself as a victim or looking for sympathies but face facts if we all protected ourselves like we should of we wouldn't be having this discussion

What do you have against punctuation? Not one period in that run on of words.

well get real hiv doesn't kill unless u let it, the ratings is cut down to none honestly i know more people i see weekly face to face than i ever met on here in this year of 2012 hiv is the death sentence of the past i even asked them about this site they responded why do i need someone telling me something i already know that's why you have drs that u see monthly or 3 months, not only talking for myself but talking for the behalf of the 30 people i known and meet regularly over the 20 yrs i known , their response i don't get on this site b/c i don't need it and honestly i see many friends die 6 months after finding out they had cancer i bet 10 yrs from now hiv will be a disease of the past

well get real hiv doesn't kill unless u let it, the ratings is cut down to none honestly i know more people i see weekly face to face than i ever met on here in this year of 2012 hiv is the death sentence of the past i even asked them about this site they responded why do i need someone telling me something i already know that's why you have drs that u see monthly or 3 months, not only talking for myself but talking for the behalf of the 30 people i known and meet regularly over the 20 yrs i known , their response i don't get on this site b/c i don't need it and honestly i see many friends die 6 months after finding out they had cancer i bet 10 yrs from now hiv will be a disease of the past

Logged

Diagnosed in May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

TRIUMEQ - VALTREX - FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE - PRAVASTATIN - CIALIS

Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

well get real hiv doesn't kill unless u let it, the ratings is cut down to none honestly i know more people i see weekly face to face than i ever met on here in this year of 2012 hiv is the death sentence of the past i even asked them about this site they responded why do i need someone telling me something i already know that's why you have drs that u see monthly or 3 months, not only talking for myself but talking for the behalf of the 30 people i known and meet regularly over the 20 yrs i known , their response i don't get on this site b/c i don't need it and honestly i see many friends die 6 months after finding out they had cancer i bet 10 yrs from now hiv will be a disease of the past

You are an insensitive person, who has no clue on much of anything. I can't believe you said what I highlighted and I dare you to tell that to someone, who is fighting to stay alive and has done EVERYTHING THEY CAN, yet the HIV still wins.

u people put words in other's mouths so tell me who have died from it recently not 10 yrs ago

Take a look at our memorial forum and you will see DOZENS who have died within the past 10 years. You still cannot grasp the fact that you are insensitive and callous, so I'm done with you. Nobody can understand, let alone believe, half the garbage you write.

I'd like to welcome you to the forums. As others have said, with early treatment, access to meds, and careful attention on your part, there's an excellent chance that you'll live quite a long time. But you can't just take it for granted, as sshortguy is suggesting. He seems to think that HIV is a walk in the park, and doesn't believe that anyone dies of HIV anymore. It's because he is in denial of how serious HIV is -- too afraid to face it. Poor boy. I regret that sshortguy keeps littering your post with his rubbish.

If you summon up the courage to face your HIV infection, and take action to stay healthy -- including HIV meds -- I'm confident you will do just fine.

Regards,

Henry

Logged

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

joe u r the 1 that have no grasp in reality i have 30 hiv poz friends in st louis alone not to mention those i know in chicago and indianapolis telling me your life will continue so u say you're reight and they're all wrong?

u people put words in other's mouths so tell me who have died from it recently not 10 yrs ago

Every one of the following forum members lost their lives due to hiv and most of them in the past few years, - NOT ten years ago. It hasn't even been a year since we lost Carl. Every single one of them did "all the right things" and fought.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

buckmark well said but like i was trying to say the rates are dropping , not as much as they're saying the medicines today are alot better than they used to be, sounds to me like you're 1 of the "old school guys that fought it when the meds 1st came out , all i was saying i got a friend i've been taking care of that i contracted hiv as well as hep b not a good combo but doing good now his v/l was in the millions

I'm terribly sorry your first thread here was so badly hijacked. I'm afraid that I see no real alternative other than locking it. This in NO WAY reflects on you. I'm doing it to stop shortguy's rants. Please feel to start another - and I'll do my level best to not let what happened here happen to your next (or any other) thread.

Shortguy, the next time you hijack a thread like this, I'm going to give you another time out. I mean it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts