Top 10 Most Unhealthy Fast Foods

Hopefully you’re well aware that fast food is unhealthy; it’s just not possible to cram so much salt, grease and deliciousness together and produce anything even remotely good for you. Still, fast food in moderation isn’t going to kill you… unless you happen to eat one of the following, in which case it probably will.

10. Burger King’s Triple Whopper with Cheese

Burger King’s gigantic burger has 1250 calories, although we assume that anyone willing to eat that much beef probably isn’t too concerned by the technicalities.

How is That Even Possible?

Three layers of beef add up pretty quickly, and despite the best effort of the vegetables to make this thing look healthy it’s pretty clear from a glance that it will wreak havoc on your body. But hey, at least there’s some lettuce, right?

9. Qdoba Mexican Grill’s Beef Taco Salad

At 1280 calories, this is the perfect example of how fast food salads can be just as terrible for you as anything else on the menu.

How is That Even Possible?

Throwing in a bunch of lettuce and calling it a salad doesn’t do any good if the other ingredients are a heaping pile of beef, a bunch of shredded cheese and a huge taco shell. It’s not even trying to look like a real salad, which means you can’t act smug towards people who order the burritos instead. Isn’t that the only reason we eat salads in the first place?

8. Dairy Queen’s Six Piece Chicken Strip Basket

Dairy Queen’s basket of chicken strips contains 1410 calories. We thought chicken was supposed to be good for you, but apparently that gets negated by frying it in batter and serving it with a bunch of fries. Who would have thought?

How is That Even Possible?

Six pieces of chicken is a lot, far more than anyone should eat in a single sitting. We couldn’t even find a picture of the six piece basket, which explains why you only see four pieces above; it’s as if Dairy Queen itself is ashamed to admit that this item exists. Add in a pile of fries, sauce, and, inexplicably, a couple of slices of toast, and we’re actually more surprised that this basket isn’t higher up on the list.

7. Hardee’s Monster Thickburger

Anything with thick in the name can’t be good; this baby has 1420 calories. That makes “Monster burger” a pretty literal name, although we think “Abomination burger” might work even better.

How is That Even Possible?

Just look at it, it’s a nightmare. Two 1/3 pound beef patties, four strips of bacon, three cheese slices, and a couple of dollops of mayo: it’s a heart attack waiting to happen. They’re not even trying to pretend it’s healthy by adding a leaf of lettuce or something either, it just straight up says “I’m terrible for you, and yet so delicious, and we both know you have no willpower. Now buy me with some extra-large fries and a coke, tubby.”

6. Domino’s Three Cheese Mac-N-Cheese Breadbowl Pasta

This awkwardly named “pasta” from Domino’s has 1460 calories. For that impact we have to hope it tastes a lot better than it looks.

How is That Even Possible?

It’s pretty obvious what went wrong here; this isn’t so much pasta as it is a big slug of melted cheese that’s been poured into a loaf of bread. Look, bowls shouldn’t be edible. Bread was doing a fine job as a staple food, it doesn’t deserve to be shanghaied into a secondary role. And while we won’t deny that cheese is delicious, it probably shouldn’t be the focus of your meal, assuming you want to eat more than one a day without packing on the pounds.

5. Five Guys Burgers and Fries’ Large French Fries

They may look like your typical French fries, but that heap of potato, batter and salt somehow manages to contain 1464 calories, making this the unhealthiest item on their menu.

How is That Even Possible?

We’re pretty sure it’s just sheer volume, although even with that in consideration it’s hard to explain how so many calories were packed into these bad boys. Obviously no French fries are healthy, but you’d be hard pressed to find another brand that comes anywhere near the calorie count of these. Five Guys must have some sort of horrible secret that, frankly, we don’t want to learn.

4. Ruby Tuesday’s Boston Blue Burger

This burger has 1466 calories, which is quite impressive considering it lacks the cheese, bacon and extra beef of its rivals.

How is That Even Possible?

It looks pretty disgusting, but we’re not entirely sure how it manages to be unhealthier than the Monster Thickburger disaster that Hardee’s offers (above). Is it the blue cheese dressing? That stuff is kind of nasty. There are also onion rings and barbeque sauce, but those don’t seem like they would screw things up that badly. Maybe it has something to do with being connected to Boston.

3. Carl’s Jr.’s Double Six Dollar Burger

Another beef, bacon and cheese monstrosity, this Carl’s Jr. burger is the unhealthiest in America, providing 1520 calories and a disturbing 2760mg of sodium (healthy adults aren’t supposed to exceed 2300mg a day according to mayoclinic.com).

How is That Even Possible?

Well, it’s basically the same as the Hardee’s burger, except with onion rings added in. Shockingly, that doesn’t provide any sort of health benefit, and so it’s no mystery as to how this thing is so terrible for you. Sadly, we suspect it’s only a matter of time before a different restaurant adds an extra layer of beef and bacon in an attempt to dethrone this unholy creation.

2. Nathan’s Famous Fish and Chips

Fish and chips is a classic meal, but out of the many kinds available this is by far the worst, containing 1537 calories. We can’t deny that it looks delicious, but we’re not ready to put our lives on the line for a tasty supper.

How is That Even Possible?

We’re not sure how you screw up fish this badly, because even with all that thick batter you’d think there are much worse foods out there. Of course, the huge fries can’t help, nor can the… whatever those things above the fish are. Balls of pure, greasy batter? Based on the calorie count, we’re not sure what else they could be. Hey, at least there’s coleslaw.

1. Quiznos Large Tuna Melt

Quiznos innocent looking tuna sandwich manages to hold a staggering 1760 calories, 93 grams of fat and 2120 milligrams of sodium. Add in the optional dressing and you’re looking at an extra 370 calories and 40 grams of fat, which is close to or over the daily recommended calorie count for most people.

How is That Even Possible?

We’re not sure, to be honest. Isn’t tuna supposed to be pretty good for you? Of course, a large anything in fast food is never a wise idea, but that’s only a partial explanation of what’s going on here. Being drenched in cheese and mayo doesn’t help much, but really, we’re at a loss to explain how so many calories got packed into a single sandwich. It’s not the result of some weird Quizno’s sorcery either, because most of their other products are pretty average by fast food standards. Maybe you shouldn’t question it; just avoid it.

Now I'm craving bacon, thanks… it was the only image for the Boston Blue that I could find out there – if anyone else has a better photo of this burger please share it, and I'll replace. In the meantime I'm going to tell myself they are onion rings over and over and over and over and over…

Lol don’t worry when the mortality rate starts to sky rocket for fat children (trust me I am a lifeguard at great wolf lodge in texas I see fat kids all the time) anyways shit will change. God America is disgusting

Actually, the Monster Thickburger is 2 1/3 pound burger patties, 4 slices of bacon, 6 slices of cheese, and the only condiment is mayo. I have them whenever I see a Hardees’. And yes, my heart hurts afterwards. lol

There are some very funny lines in here, good observations. It was enjoyable reading. But I do wish you’d been a little more complete with the info on sodium and fat. I care about those things, but I’m not a big believer in calorie-counting. I suspect you could find a lot of people who practically live on pizza, soda pop and Snickers bars who are heart-breakingly thin. I wish I was one of them.

Right now my diet is as horrible as you can imagine. I work nights and stop at the Jack-in-the-Box on the way home five mornings a week. It’s a wond4er I’m even alive. But I do have an excuse. You see, I used to ride home with a co-worker who took me straight to my house and my fridge full of healthy foods. When she quit, I started riding the bus, which stops directly across from Jack-in-the-Box, and I have to walk right by their front entrance to get home. Their smelly front door…

The balls above the fish are hush puppies. Pretty much fried cornbread with kernels or corn, diced jalapenos and onions (and whatever else the maker wants to put in there). They are very good although unhealthy.