DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

Army — medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.

Navy — will have ships’ engineers make medals for them as needed.

Air Force — will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.

CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

Marines — work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

Army — will wear it anytime, anywhere.

Navy — will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to your sailors.

Air Force — will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and gray service chevrons and name tapes on them. They will also get newly designed and personally tailored uniforms to replace the airline pilot coats they have now.

CAREER FIELDS:

Marines — all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.

Army — doesn’t matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in the first enlistment.

Navy — nobody knows. Navy still trying to figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.

Air Force — every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the Air Force early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

More humor...

Emotional Extremes

A group of aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

“Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor, “Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?”