Thousands face prospect of trouble-free holiday flights this summer

Many holidaymakers are dismayed at the prospect of smooth passage to their paid-for holiday destination rather than enjoying the free food vouchers and chance to camp in the terminal usually provided by the annual crisis in the UK travel industry.

‘I’m disgusted,’ said Jim Tonkin from Walsall. ‘We booked our holiday – no problem. We got to Heathrow – no problem. We checked in and boarded without any problem and flew to Costa and back without a hitch. In the end we had to turn on each other — it’s the worst holiday we’ve ever had.’

‘If I abused a normal member of society like I usually do a BA check-in supervisor I’d be arrested, but with a baying mob of marginally delayed tourists behind me I’m a hero. A crisis makes my bloody year’ he explained. ‘And my missus lost out on the chance of being on BBC News 24 again — she was on the verge of getting an agent you know.’

Tonkin said the break had been his most disappointing trip since the time he was rendered speechless on a bank holiday Monday visit to the seaside, when he was unaffected by road works, squabbling children and unseasonably poor weather.