So much time has passed without me really writing it down here. It’s a shame, since so much has happened, and I didn’t really take the opportunity to record it along the way. I have a renewed my motivations and we’ll see how it goes here. There has been a lot of exciting news in my family in the last little bit, which each of my three sisters welcoming into the world a brand new daughter each! I am so excited for these little ones! I can’t wait to meet them. I know my sisters have had their hands full with getting these girls into the world safely, and I am so happy they are here. There have definitely been some trials along the way, that’s for sure. My thoughts and prayers are with them, always!

School-wise, these last weeks have been crazy. Literally. I am on my psychiatry rotation and it is challenging in a lot of ways. Here is some mood music for this post:

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There are a lot of things I have seen this last month and a bit that are very sad. Many people struggling with realities and perceptions of realities so different than mine. People crying out, needing, wanting, hoping, angry, sad, confused. There are so many situations that seem un-fixable. Things cannot be un-done, fathers can’t come back and love instead of abuse, stimulate instead of neglect, mothers can’t undo the drugs done while pregnant, and the people here are just left to pay the price. It’s been a lot for me to think about, and I really internalize what I see. It challenges me deeply on what I think it is to be a person, to be self-aware, and what to do about it. This is a field where you really do see people that cannot function properly in a real life situation. Concepts of consequence, cause-effect, future planning, insight vary from patient to patient. They can of course be completely absent. It breaks my heart, to be honest.

I can’t really recount all the crazy things I see, ’cause that’s probably a breach of student-doctor-patient confidence, and because it’s too crazy to remember. Sometimes it’s just strings of words… sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I am a member of the people from outer space, sent to spy on the patients to see how much they have been telling the doctors. It has definitely grown on me in the time I have spent, but I am starting to feel confirmation that it’s not for me full time. I think I look forward much more to helping people in a GP setting, even if it’s a psych issue, than in the full lockdown of the secure ward. Starting to feel something about what I want to do for a future practice is exciting too.

Looking back over the last few months, and all that has happened, the music I have listened to kinda captures a lot of what was going on. Does the mood make the music or vice versa? Anyways, here’s a tour backwards through time.

My brother suggested I listen to music that has turned into a solid nap-maker for me. The artist’s name is Andy McKee. Sometimes I just put it on and before I know it I’m out of it. I’ve listened to his latest album probably 20 times, and I don’t think I’ve ever been conscious for the end. That said, the second song is very strangely interesting to me, and I don’t know why. Whenever the album is ticking along through the first song, I kinda ignore it, but then when this song comes on, it grabs my attention. Give it a listen.

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Every now and then songs stand out to me, as I’m sure they do to everyone. I thought I would make a way to share them here so I can remember what music impacted me and what I was listening to over time.

This song stuck me at the beginning of the year, as it highlights a central tenet of the philosophy by which I conduct my life.

Click the blue triangle to have a listen.

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