Humor

ABOUT ALEX AND KATIJA: HIGH AND MIGHTY

Alex and Katija are quite the pair. Selfish, cruel, greedy, sleazy and violent—why, the negative adjectives could easily fill a small volume of their own. Over the top, always offensive and never politically correct—their sole redeeming quality is, they are not child molesters.

Alex is heir and owner of the Holstein Private Investigation Agency, located in Stockholm, Sweden. While he is the agency’s brains, Katija provides the brawn, as resident henchwoman. Their setup is sweet, with a never-ending supply of clients appearing at their doorstep and asking for help, only to be swindled out of their money, robbed, or beaten, and then sent on their way. Except some who, wrapped in chains, are dumped into the murky waters of nearby Nybro Viken.

Alex and Katija fight the natural as well as the supernatural—the only thing they really dread is the horrors of gainful employment. This threat is ever present as their finances are chronically atrocious, usually due to the black vacuum of the weekend, with all its powders and pills.

Their cases take them across the globe—so beware! There is NOWHERE to hide.

ABOUT GORDON HOOPER

Gordon Hooper is the author of “Alex and Katija, High and Mighty.” It was published on Amazon.com, November 6 2012, courtesy of Seattle publisher New Libri Press.

One could tell his life’s story with a poem:

Born by gypsies
Raised by wolves
Schooled by fools
Employed by cretins
Scooped up by Libri

Highly inaccurate and somewhat irrelevant prose, yes yes I know – what are you, my mother?
But when has truth, that dull ignoramus, ever been able to measure up to a well-crafted lie?
Most of his work is created solely to make people laugh, or at the very least smile. He tries to be offensive as often as humanly possible.
When not – then he is most likely being semi-blackmailed by his publisher, who has a hell of a job in keeping us all out of jail and preventing the premises of New Libri Press from being torched.
Contrary to his wishes he currently resides in the depressing little freeze box of Stockholm, Sweden.
He was born on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain in 1977, but was imported to the frigid shores of Sweden at the tender age of two.
He is currently working on the sequel “Alex and Katija, The terrible Two.”
For more warping of morals, bending of truths and breaking of laws – enter the electronic vortex via the portal below.

Alex and Katja is his first published book. You can visit Gordon Hooper’s website atwww.gordon-hooper.com.

Join award winning science teacher Tom McLaughlin as he moves from America to Malaysian Borneo as he tracks orangutans, dances naked in an earthquake, swims with jellyfish AND MORE DANGEROUSLY…falls in love.

Walk with him through a cacophony of emotions including great joy when he finds the love of his life and marries in a village ceremony, reunites with one daughter after a divorce, travels with another and flies the entire family on his honeymoon in Bali. Oh, yes, did I forget? His vasectomy and his wife’s diagnosis of barrenness produces a son, Dzul Patrick, now a few months old.

Each stand alone chapter is humorously sketched by Water Front Niki, a familiar face to all who visit Kuching. Niki’s sensitive portraits of the national bird, the Hornbill, decorates living rooms world wide.

**Proceeds from the book go for items that support the Matang Wildlife Center that rehabs orangutans and other amazing wildlife.**

About Borneo Tom

Science teacher Tom McLaughlin battled a rare neurological disease to a stand still, packed up his life and moved to Malaysian Borneo from a Washington D.C. suburb.

Landing in Kuching, he quickly learned the Malay language and involved himself in projects which includes orangutan rehabilitation and research about the famed naturalist, Alfred Wallace, whose thunder was stolen by Charles Darwin.

The advent of cheap air travel to many destinations in Southeast Asia transported him to many adventures. From dancing naked in an earthquake in Sumatra, to getting lost in a warren of World War II Japanese caves to walking the rim of a volcano with poisonous gas, he has jumped with foolhardiness into everything wild and wonderful, all related in his book Borneo Tom.

Reuniting with his Peace Corps family of thirty five years ago, sharing adventures with one daughter, then reconciling with another after a divorce, marriage with full kampung ceremony and then taking both daughters on his honeymoon to Bali are a few of the highlights of his remarkable personal life. Oh, but we can’t forget? His vasectomy coupled with a wife diagnosed as barren has reproduced a son, Dzul Patrick, now a few months old.

Tom teaches at the Lodge International School in Kuching, Malaysian Borneo while writing about his adventures as a US expat living in Borneo.

Charles, a newly qualified lawyer without a penny to his name, plunges into the archaic world of the Bar as it was thirty-five years ago. After a stroke of beginners’ luck – and a taste of good living – he soon becomes established in practice battling away in the criminal courts, conducting court-martials in Germany and on one horrifying occasion actually appearing in a commercial court, “winding up ” companies of which he knows nothing! He encounters a wide range of clients including an Italian motorist charged with assault, who claims to have been savagely attacked by an elderly lollipop man wielding his road sign. On top of that, there are instructing solicitors who never pay him and even one who has departed this world altogether yet still manages to operate on a shadowy basis from the vicinity of Bow Road in East London. Court-martials take Charles abroad where he encounters a German policeman’s dog whose canine expertise is deemed to be perfectly sound evidence and samples a night out on the other side of the infamous Berlin wall just making it back to the safety of the West. Wig Begone is an exhilarating tale of Charles’ early career with disaster often lurking round the corner and culminating in his own appearance in front of England’s most notorious judge!

Excerpt

‘Charles Courtley,’ declared the Treasurer of Galahad’s Inn, eighteen months before. ‘You are hereby called to the Bar of England and Wales.’

That was it. Finally, I had achieved my dream and become a barrister. True, it had taken me some years to pass the exams but I had made it at last! Now for the formal dinner in the grand surroundings of Hall and then the last bus home – I reckoned I had just about enough money on me for that.

Frankly, Andrea and I were still very hard up. Married for three years, we were living in a dingy basement flat in Peckham; all we could afford. Not only was it damp all the year round and freezing cold in winter but constant electrical shorts often announced themselves with a loud bang. It was also miles away from the nearest tube.

The call ceremony took place in 1972 and I was about to eat the last dinner in Hall reuqired of me. These twelve compulsory events were regarded as being equally important to passing the exams. Nonetheless, it felt good to sit down at the hhigh table in Hall that night as a barrister and not a student. For the first time, I wore my brand new bar robe over the pin-striped trousers and black jacket which would be my uniform from now in. The fact that these items were bought second-hand from Moss Bros. worried me not at all.

“Even if one person only in 50 years time, were to read a copy of my book,long discarded but now rediscovered in somebody’s attic, I would be rewarded enough.”

— Robert Seymour

Robert Seymour, (under the pseudonym of Charles Courtley) is a retired judge who lives on the English coast with his wife, Jane, of 38 years, and a small dog called Phoebe.

He is the author of Wig Begone, a tale of a young barrister’s triumphs and tragedies. As well as adapting his novel into a screenplay and writing a sequel, he contributes to legal newsletters and blogs.