100 Days, 100 Reasons

100 days. That's all that separates us from the glorious return of game day, er, game night as the Buckeyes host the Thundering Herd on Thursday, September 2nd. In celebration of approaching double digits on the game day countdown, here's 100 reasons, things, actions and whatnot, in absolutely no particular order, highlighting why Buckeye football is always worth waiting for...

3. Buck I Guy: locked and loaded

It's fun to chart the seconds between kickoff and when the first complaints about the vanilla offense show up in the gameday open thread.

Pryor stiff-arming helpless DE’s and LB’s as he rolls right.

Cringing at the notion it’s only a matter of time before the TV cameras catch up to Buck-I-Guy and his double barreled finger guns – causing all of America to laugh at us.

Subsequently making a note to never wear a cape, even if it’s an OSU cape (unless said cape allows one to fly).

Spotting The Vest in, well, a vest, looking like the classiest coach in football.

Witnessing unnamed media working over the press box buffet like it’s the Last Supper.

Watching that first moron get busted for carrying an open container along Lane Avenue.

Buttering up the bumpers on your mid-size in order to wedge it into a parking spot equipped for a SmartCar along W. Northwood Avenue. A man’s gotta pre-game.

Playing an internal game of “would ya” as you pass hundreds of ladies en route to the tailgate.

Deducting, concluding and locking in on that first score prediction of the season.

That early morning gameday dooker with Dispatch sports section in hand.

Another season of Dimitrious Stanley’s fashionable suits on BFF.

Script Ohio.

Once inside the ‘Shoe, playing a modified version of Slug-Bug substituting VW’s for blue hairs knitting and/or reading.

Guessing the age of revelers throwing down the Natty Lights, hoping that guess never eclipses age 22.

Thinking to yourself this is finally the year in which the TE (Stoneburner) gets involved in the passing game.

The possibility of having an awesome Porta-Potty story emerge like last year when my bro and I encountered one with a pair of freshly soiled adult tighty-whitey’s in the urinal funnel. At 8:15 am.

Heyward. Blowin’ up fools.

Rockin’ the mirrored shades to keep an eye on all the coeds without taking a slap upside the head from your lady.

23. Jesse? I fail to see the resemblance.

The play by play voice of Paul Keels. So much bass that even DJ Magic Mike nods in approval.

Throwing on that retro Spielman jersey and remembering the story of how he used to play tackle football in Masillon…on blacktop.

The annual first game stroll past the Jesse Owens memorial in front of the ‘Shoe while thinking, “wouldn’t an actual statue of Jesse been a better idea?”

Poking your head into Conrad’s only to remember it has just 200 square feet of space, 150 of which is taken up by merchandise. Seriously, it’s like Mumbai in there.

The musical stylings of The Danger Brothers. I keep walking.

The Varsity Club. That’s better.

Skull Session.

The little block O’s painted on the cheeks of sexy coeds. Not those cheeks. Dammit.

Hoping today’s the day Posey has zero drops as he dominates the opposing secondary.

Responding to that first on-campus, game day “O-H” of the year.

Watching (insert punter’s name here since B.J. Sander left) boom kick after kick in pregame only to disappoint you come game time.

Listening to a little pre-game Mark May commentary to get the blood flowing.

Hearing the AC/DC “Hells Bells” gong as the D prepares to stop a 3rd down.

Taking in the incredibly choppy delivery of Buckeye analysis from Craig Krenzel. Molecular Genetics? (C’mon, you gotta admit you thought our hero would come off much more insightful and well spoken based on his background).

Nathan Williams off the edge.

Predicting your breakout player on both sides of the ball then proceeding to trumpet him for executing basic fundamentals to all your friends throughout the game.

Rooting for Adams to stay off the hippie lettuce – at least during the season.

Invoking the auto-math after a failed 3rd down conversion to be the first one to announce to your friends (before the announcer, of course) how long the FG try will be.

High-stepping across the living room on the first long TD run/catch of the year.

What will hopefully be Hazell's continued emergence as a voice of the offense.

Walking down 15th in nothing but a rain slicker, taking in all the sights.

Singing Carmen Ohio with the team after a dominating performance.

Expecting Chekwa and Torrence to step it up thanks largely to insane D-Line pressure.

That quick game of touch football that breaks out at halftime and ends when (a) the all-time QB cramps up or (b) someone steps in dog dookie.

Wondering if the light turns on in time for Duron Carter to be the #3.

Stumbling up to the Out-R-Inn post game trying to look young.

Holding your urine at work all day Thursday and Friday to stretch the kidneys as a test run for Saturday at the 'Shoe.

Advising visiting Michigan coeds you've got a Jake Long in your pocket if they'd like to see it.

Deciding which drunk relative you want to reference when stating drunkenly, "My drunk < relative > could (block, pass, tackle, coach) better than this" right before being asked to punch yourself in the face.

The joy of covering the spread.

Fall Time Management 101 kicks in (ie: Friday nights are reserved the lady so you can ensure you still get some on the reg).