Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Time to make a stand

A proper bandstand, not a crap brick version.

Petersfield Cricket Club have given their full backing for plans to erect a bandstand in the middle of Petersfield Heath to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.A mixture of crazy and worthwhile ventures have been put forward to celebrate the milestone including a large inflatable crown that could be enjoyed by children as a kind of bouncy royal castle and a half-scale model of the ex-royal yacht Britannia to be used as a permanent floating venue on the lake.The bandstand seems to be the people's favourite and the cricket club are right behind the project, but some believe the backing is merely the verbal equivalent of ball-tampering.

Alf Volley, spokesman for the club, said: "We think the new bandstand is a fantastic idea."Yet many remain suspicious of the cricket club's enthusiasm. The club has suffered at the hands of vandals recently and the bandstand might prove a welcome distraction to young thugs.First-team skipper and chinese international batsman Lee Ding-Edge conceded: "Only this week we have has some nutter carving up the wicket, speeding around on some sort of quad-bike. This would give the local pondlife something else upon which to vent their frustration."Sally Bray-Shun, talking on behalf of the Jubilee Committee for Petersfield, said: "I'm afraid Volley and Ding-Edge are wide of the crease with that one. The bandstand would be fully vandal-proof.

"We have only £30,000 to spend and, constructed from brick, the bandstand will probably look crap. In my experience that makes it vandal-proof. Hooligans won't try to destroy something that already looks as though someone else has already had a go at it."Bray-Shun denied the Jubilee Committee had contacted the fairground operators, to enquire how much it would cost to buy the kiosk that houses the "Fishing for Yellow Plastic Ducks" game."There is no truth behind this rumour and in fact this is probably larger than the structure we would be able to afford."