Feb 22, 2012

This is a subject that has such breadth you don’t know where
to start. Practicing good sound values, however, should start with the family
and at home. One can be judged by one’s company; so one can be by one’s family.
Sound values are ideals we live by and which take us through life. To be
without values is to have no moral compass. Charity starts at home and so must
everything else. You must have God in your life; that is the first thing. When
you have God in your life you are more apt to have respect for your elders, you
will have something to believe in, you will have guidance and support if you
seek it.

Here are some values to live by

·Compassion
for others. Not everyone is as fortunate as you are. Some people complain
about beggars and people asking you for things on the street. Give what you can.
Buy someone a lunch. Give the vagrant on the corner two dollars. Don’t question
what he will do with the money; give it unconditionally.

·Respect
for your elders. Have respect for the people at home and for people in
positions of authority. Also have respect for those close to you, at school,
and for whatever friends you may have. Having respect costs nothing and just
helping someone carry her groceries or helping her out of the car, is a good
deed.

·Be
honest. Start your children on the right path by telling them to always
tell the truth, even if what you have to say is going to land them in trouble.
Your parents will

·Be
generous. Not only with material goods, but with your time. It is harder
for some people to give of their time, but it will mean a lot. Giving of your
time could include giving someone a lift, taking a friend to the hospital,
staying with someone at the accident scene to comfort the person; one can be
generous in many ways.

·Forgiving
your enemy. You know what Jesus said in the Bible about this. Don’t carry a
stone in your heart forever because someone has harmed you. You will feel
lighter having forgiven the person and you will be rid of dead weight.

·Give more
than you ask for. You will get double in return. In fact, don’t expect anything
when someone has helped you. Be responsible in your dealings with people and do
not begrudge them anything.

There is no set time for disciplining a child and some
children are so well-behaved that they hardly get disciplined. Really, though,
discipline starts when the child acts out of the norm, throws a tantrum, shouts
back at you, and you have to take control or the child will think that he can
manipulate you for whatever he wants. There is a difference between that kind
of discipline and discipline where you just correct behaviour by ‘showing’ and
no harsh tone need be employed. Still, children know instinctively that there
are rules and know when they are being chastised.

The child’s retreat

A child know when he has misbehaved, even as a two-year-old,
and is old enough when his parent calls a time-out because he is shouting at
the top of his lungs or throwing his things around. A time-out is a gentle way
to calm down a recalcitrant toddler. He understands what is happening, and in
time settles down in his room. His room is his sanctuary and it is a place
where he can retreat to. This is his space. It is where he has his bath and is
being changed. He also learns independence right from the start.

Mistakes parents make disciplining a toddler

1A child sleeping in his own
crib learns independence from the start. Sleeping with his parents will create
problems later on when he can’t fall asleep without his mother or father in
bed, or without the light on, or he is scared of ghosts. It leads to
co-dependency. However, this does not mean that there are not special occasions
to crowd into your parents’ bed. Bonding is important and should be exercised
on a regular basis.

2Do not change the rules once
you have made them. If you call a time-out, don’t give in to his charm or
screaming to let him sit with the other children in front of the television.

3If he does not listen to you, take
him physically to his room. If he comes out, put him back. Just because he is
screaming and throwing a tantrum does not mean you must give in. Toddlers can
be manipulative.

4Don’t shout and scream
yourself. They turn on the tears or suddenly become charming to get what they
want. Speak nicely and let the child know who is in charge.

5Do not bribe a child; he will
hold you hostage. If you resort to bribery he will know that you are not a
person with conviction and will sense that you are weak. Be loving and caring,
but show him who is the boss.

Discipline with love

Once your infant has been fed and changed, put him
back in the crib. He will soon fall asleep. Remember, teaching him right at the
beginning of his life how to behave will go a long way towards his future. Play
with your child; it is very important. Read to your child. Have a story hour
before he goes to bed. Then put him in his room.