Well, technically this is not technically-oriented, but I couldn't resist!

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely
and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas
the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the
second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to
a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of
the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating
at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning
of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of
the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement
between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but
not be limited to, the following steps: 1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer)
shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool,
ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise
direction, said direction being nonnegotiable. Said grasping and rotation of
the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of
the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first
part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second
part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the afore- mentioned failure of the party
of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and
agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate
that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be
incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party
of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure
insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional
codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer)
throughout. 2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the
party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party
of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state,
local and federal statutes. 3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved,
the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation
of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall
occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in
step one of this self- same document, being careful to note that the rotation
should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non- negotiable.
NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party
of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his
heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the
objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity
of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress
and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".