Tiger’s Many Mistresses, analyzed

Well, he definitely has a type. Let’s take a closer look at the string of women who have come forward as mistresses of Mister Stripes, the famous circus tiger.

The lionessThe first to admit her affair, this lioness is said to be twenty cat years younger than Stripes’ wife. Meowch, Mrs. Stripes!

The rumored threesome with a liger and a tigonThese animals are supposed to be sterile, but you wouldn’t know it by the way they’ve been behaving. Darwin would be puking in his grave.

The pigletDespite the tender emotion visible in these photos, Stripes says the relationship was “strictly platonic” and that he only wanted to “kill and eat [the pig].”

Tony the TigerStripes is such a cad, not even cartoon characters are safe! Tony released telling text messages he received from Stripes, including “no, you’re grrreat!” and “I want to [redacted] you in your [redacted] [redacted] tiger [redacted].”

The YouTube kittenAuthorities are looking into the age of kitten consent, but regardless of the legality, the public agrees that ethically, this affair is one hundred per cent cute.