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You could get all purse-lipped and appalled by the vulgar, unappetising
nature of the Golden Wonder posters and demand an immediate reopening of
Adrian ‘Lord Reith’ Holmes’ debate about yobbish advertising. But the
target market doesn’t see crisps as food - and neither do I, come to
that. They like things such as bogeys, goo and muck - so do I, come to
that - and I imagine they’ll love it. And they’re harmless enough.

You could get all purse-lipped and appalled by the vulgar, unappetising

nature of the Golden Wonder posters and demand an immediate reopening of

Adrian ‘Lord Reith’ Holmes’ debate about yobbish advertising. But the

target market doesn’t see crisps as food - and neither do I, come to

that. They like things such as bogeys, goo and muck - so do I, come to

that - and I imagine they’ll love it. And they’re harmless enough.

Autoglass has some posters that are straight from the Use of Colour in

Communication Handbook. Many, many people will know who Autoglass are

after these have run.

Wacky perverts go to wacky lengths to make conditions perfect for the

Anchor Butter cows. It has no feature by which you can grasp it or

connect with it, or in any way remember it.

‘It’s not right, it’s not fair and it’s against the law,’ seems to be an

ineptly flaccid appeal to hardened law breakers. ‘Blimey, Scarface,

they’re right. It’s not fair, it’s not right and I’ll never do it

again!’ In this case, it’s designed to persuade habitual law breakers to

pay their TV Licence fee. Fat chance.

Flaccidity is not a problem that troubles the bloke in the Jiffi Condoms

commercial. It starts with the title, ‘Coming soon’, with our bonking

hero desperate to avoid the shame of a short- coming - understandable

when you see the pneumatic babe writhing on top of him.

To distract himself from the exquisite torture, he tries a variation of

what every bloke who’s ever had the problem - which is every bloke - has

tried and recites the names of the England 1966 World Cup squad. He gets

through about half of them, but ‘Nobby’ Styles is more than he can take.

To the disgust of his partner, and a triumphant shout of ‘Bobby

Charlton’, he comes.

It’s wonderful, it’s wittily done and everyone who sees it, male and

female, loves it. In theory, it’s gloriously wrong. I can see all those