This is just like America’s rightwing pussies: all bluster and no fight. When no one’s looking, they’re screaming crazy treasonous shit like they’re badass revolutionaries, but at the first whiff of liberal-blogger criticism, they’re fleeing with their tails between their legs.

Yesterday, on a rightwing webzine site called Newsmax, one of their columnists called for the US military to overthrow President Obama, in order to “resolve the ‘Obama Problem.’” The column, headlined “Obama Risks a Military ‘Intervention,’” laid out a nerdoid fantasy-scenario in which the U.S. military ousts Obama, and the junta rules America for an interim period to “restore” the Constitution:

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

You can almost smell author John L. [for "Loser"] Perry’s urine-scented basement bedroom and sticky underwear wafting up from each word of his waffentwerp fantasy column.

In the great tradition of waffentwerp loudmouths like Perry, as soon as a few liberals started to blog his article, the yeasty pussies at Newsmax screamed “RETREAT!” and pulled the article down, and used the ol’ grammar school excuse of “I’ve never even seen this guy in my life!” claiming that Perry isn’t even on Newsmax’s payroll. Translation: WE’RE TOO AFRAID TO STAND BEHIND OUR YAPPING POODLES.

It’s like the screaming loudmouth jerk who makes a lot of noise about “I’ll kick yer fuckin ass man!” but then when the other guy finally gets tired of it and starts to lift himself from his barstool, the loudmouth flees like Snagglepus, exit stage left, even. Fucking pathetic.

I’ll write more about this soon, but a couple of points to note:

1. I’ve been following the angry-rightwing’s obsession over the military coup in Honduras which overthrew the democratically-elected leftwing president, Manuel Zelaya. If you’ve watched how the rightwingers have framed that coup, it’s been clear that they see it as both a proxy-coup for the battle they believe is unfolding in America, and a blueprint for how to get rid of Obama.

2. Since the John Loser Perrys of America are truly such big gigantic pussies that they can’t feel safe without guns, it’s time some of us who don’t want to be part of John Loser Perry’s twerp fantasy to brush up on our marksmanship skills at the local shooting range too.

And now, just to make sure that this article is posted in as many places as possible, I give you the mighty John L. Perry’s coup blueprint:

Obama Risks a Domestic Military ‘Intervention’

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 10:35 AM

By: John L. Perry

Article Font Size

There is a remote, although gaining, possibility America’s military will intervene as a last resort to resolve the “Obama problem.” Don’t dismiss it as unrealistic.

America isn’t the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized. That it has never happened doesn’t mean it wont. Describing what may be afoot is not to advocate it. So, view the following through military eyes:

Officers swear to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” Unlike enlisted personnel, they do not swear to “obey the orders of the president of the United States.”

Top military officers can see the Constitution they are sworn to defend being trampled as American institutions and enterprises are nationalized.

They can see that Americans are increasingly alarmed that this nation, under President Barack Obama, may not even be recognizable as America by the 2012 election, in which he will surely seek continuation in office.

They can see that the economy — ravaged by deficits, taxes, unemployment, and impending inflation — is financially reliant on foreign lender governments.

They can see this president waging undeclared war on the intelligence community, without whose rigorous and independent functions the armed services are rendered blind in an ever-more hostile world overseas and at home.

They can see the dismantling of defenses against missiles targeted at this nation by avowed enemies, even as America’s troop strength is allowed to sag.

They can see the horror of major warfare erupting simultaneously in two, and possibly three, far-flung theaters before America can react in time.

They can see the nation’s safety and their own military establishments and honor placed in jeopardy as never before.So, if you are one of those observant military professionals, what do you do?Wait until this president bungles into losing the war in Afghanistan, and Pakistan’s arsenal of nuclear bombs falls into the hands of militant Islam?Wait until Israel is forced to launch air strikes on Iran’s nuclear-bomb plants, and the Middle East explodes, destabilizing or subjugating the Free World?What happens if the generals Obama sent to win the Afghan war are told by this president (who now says, “I’m not interested in victory”) that they will be denied troops they must have to win? Do they follow orders they cannot carry out, consistent with their oath of duty? Do they resign en masse?

Or do they soldier on, hoping the 2010 congressional elections will reverse the situation? Do they dare gamble the national survival on such political whims?

Anyone who imagines that those thoughts are not weighing heavily on the intellect and conscience of America’s military leadership is lost in a fool’s fog.

Will the day come when patriotic general and flag officers sit down with the president, or with those who control him, and work out the national equivalent of a “family intervention,” with some form of limited, shared responsibility?

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible.

Unthinkable? Then think up an alternative, non-violent solution to the Obama problem. Just don’t shrug and say, “We can always worry about that later.”

In the 2008 election, that was the wistful, self-indulgent, indifferent reliance on abnegation of personal responsibility that has sunk the nation into this morass.

John L. Perry, a prize-winning newspaper editor and writer who served on White House staffs of two presidents, is a regular columnist for Newsmax.com. Read John Perry’s columns here.

48 Comments

There’s a remote, although gaining, possibility that the right is even stupider now than they were when they were backing Bush. I understand the confused Americans who buy into the propaganda, after all there’s a multi-billion dollar propaganda industry in this country that has tricking dumb yokels down to a science, but it takes someone with a truly tenuous connection to reality to come up with an idea so exactly wrong.

It’s like claiming Haliburton and Blackwater were going to overthrow Bush because they love peace and freedom.

2.
Dr. Luny | September 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am

One more thing:

“John L. Perry, a prize-winning newspaper editor and writer who served on White House staffs of two presidents, is a regular columnist for Newsmax.com.”

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

3.
Carlos | September 30th, 2009 at 10:14 am

I would like to point out the irony that when I read this article, there was a big ad for Ann Coulter’s column on the right-hand side of the page and a Newsmax ad asking if Obama was a socialist.

4.
Connors | September 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am

Fox News won’t even bother having liberals on anymore. It was once Hannity and Colmes and now it’s just Hannity. O’Reilly will go as far as “Democrat” hack Lanny Davis, but that’s about it. Glenn Beck? I don’t think he even has any guests, sorta like Limbaugh. Sean Hannity’s head almost exploded last night while talking with James Traficant. Traficant was talking about extremely influential the Israeli lobby is over US foreign policy, and Sean was just like, “No, it isn’t!!” You could also tell that parts of the interview were cut. Pathetic.

“Somehow I doubt right wingers marching on Washington while bringing guns to presidential speeches counts as pussy…”

Actually, that’s exactly what it counts as. Now, if they had the balls to actually SHOOT somebody…

10.
lzzrdgrrl | September 30th, 2009 at 11:47 am

It’s not an ‘Obama problem’ it’s an ‘American public’ problem…….

When the nation goes insolvent, it will be a hard crash and nothing like a ‘civilised coup’ will describe it. Technically, what Perry is describing is a ‘putsch’ but this whole premise is just too silly to talk about……

11.
prole | September 30th, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Honestly, it’s been time for the left to arm since the Pullman strike was broken up, and their continuing refusal to do so is the reason this country is further right than Genghis Khan.

12.
Alex | September 30th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

You keep asking what it will take for Americans to fight back; If a military coup can’t do it, I don’t know what would.

13.
DarthFurious | September 30th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Oh PLEASE! Overthrow Obama?! That capitalist crony?!
Yes, of course, the “socialist” agenda of the DNC must be stopped! They’ve handed control of the economy over to Goldman Sachs on a silver platter; clearly that’s “socialist.” They’re getting ready to give the insurance industry permanent absolute control of “health care” (if you can even call it that); obviously that’s “socialist.” And now Obama’s making a special trip to Europe to ensure that the Daly regime in Chicago gets the 2016 Olympics! He’s a regular Karl Fucking Marx! Of course Goldman Sachs, BofA, Aetna, and Pfizer are on the phone with their pals at the Pentagon, plotting his downfall as we speak!
Is everybody in this fading republic a fucking rube? Or is all this just the result of unforeseen long-term side effects from widespread SSRI use?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

14.
Antonio B. | September 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Smedley Darlington Butler. Nuff Said.

15.
god_was_stingy | September 30th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Pfft. Just look at newsmax’s photo of the guy. Of course he’s advocating a military coup; he’d be right at home on the front lines of a revolution. The glare from his bald head and coke bottle glasses would be sure to blind any snipers trying to get a bead on him.

16.
WE | September 30th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

“it’s time some of us who don’t want to be part of John Loser Perry’s twerp fantasy to brush up on our marksmanship skills at the local shooting range too.”

Exactly! While liberalism has become synonymous with granola eating pussies “crying food not bombs” while they’d cry abuse if a police officer even farted near one of them at a fashionable protest, liberals used to have balls. A conservative would have risked having his dick and tongue tied up in a stevedore knot if he’d called a longshoreman a commie fag back in 34. I think a liberal embrace of the 2nd amendment is long overdue. It might be necessary given that the craziest 30% of Americans are Dispensationalists who either have a military background or own enough firearms to make up for it.

17.
Alexius | September 30th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

I hope that our “skilled, military-trained, nation-builders” will do as fine a job here as they have in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Soon enough AK’s and rocket propelled grenades will be widely available in your neighborhood bazaar. The good times will roll, and Papaver somniferum should grow nicely in these parts.

18.
Dammerung | September 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Nation building is socialism under a different name.

I would support a military coup to restore America to constitutional government, however, constitutional government doesn’t come from the right wing.

19.
Seymour Butz | September 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Newsmax has a long and glorious history of retracting its insane articles that go viral. Anyone besides me remember “Condit: Gays, Bisexuals, and Murder” – By John LeBoutillier? Those were the days, man. Good times.

20.
jimmy james | September 30th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

“Waffentwerp” is a hell of a term. I’m going to start using it.

21.
sharpie | September 30th, 2009 at 4:25 pm

It’s funny because the left is usually portrayed as pussy, hippies. There is a hard left in this country. It’s just quietly hidden by the media.

22.
Paul Yarbles | September 30th, 2009 at 5:23 pm

From Newsmax Bio:

“Perry also has had a distinguished career in public policy. He served President Lyndon B. Johnson as deputy under secretary of commerce and was a White House speech writer and race-relations trouble-shooter for President Johnson.

In the Jimmy Carter administration, he was executive assistant to the under secretary of Housing and Urban Development and was interim director of public information for the Federal Emergency Management Agency.”

Does not compute Does not compute Does not compute…

or maybe…

Alzheimer’s (?)

23.
Paul Yarbles | September 30th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

P.S.

Perry sez: “America isn’t the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized.”

What an asshat! I’ll respond with this cut-and-paste from Pinter. It’s supposed to be Bush but it serves as a good proxy for the type of blind demented thinking displayed by John El-Perry.

‘God is good. God is great. God is good. My God is good. Bin Laden’s God is bad. His is a bad God. Saddam’s God was bad, except he didn’t have one. He was a barbarian. We are not barbarians. We don’t chop people’s heads off. We believe in freedom. So does God. I am not a barbarian. I am the democratically elected leader of a freedom-loving democracy. We are a compassionate society. We give compassionate electrocution and compassionate lethal injection. We are a great nation. I am not a dictator. He is. I am not a barbarian. He is. And he is. They all are. I possess moral authority. You see this fist? This is my moral authority. And don’t you forget it.’

Weren’t you just unfavorably comparing liberals to Joe Wilson, complaining about how no liberal dared to stand up and call Bush a liar? Americans in general are pussies, regardless of their political affiliation. That’s why protests like the million middle-aged white man march this year, and the big 2004 protests against Bush, don’t matter – everybody knows those faggots aren’t going to do anything.

25.
Frank McG | September 30th, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Overthrow a democratically elected president with a military coup to restore the American constituation…

…..

…………..

…………………………….

26.
Zver Muzhik | September 30th, 2009 at 7:29 pm

“If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized. That it has never happened doesn’t mean it wont.”

“Perry also has had a distinguished career in public policy. He served President Lyndon B. Johnson as … a White House speech writer and race-relations trouble-shooter.”

27.
eric | September 30th, 2009 at 7:49 pm

“They can see that the economy — ravaged by deficits, taxes…”

A lot like saying – “The American military, ravaged by too little money AND too much money…”

28.
KludgeHopper | September 30th, 2009 at 8:01 pm

What a bunch of fantasy baseball, chickenhawk bullshit. My only hope is that we eventually outbreed and replace these morons with people who can think clearly without resort to brute bravado nonsense like this.

29.
anonymous coward | September 30th, 2009 at 8:16 pm

We had a military coup, fairly recently. It was all over the news, google “revolt of the generals.” They got rid of that bungling, incompetant moron, Donald Rumsfeld (despite the fact that he had been best buddies with Dick Cheney for years!) That was pretty effective, even shocking considering it was the Bush Administration. Probably managed to derail the war with Iran for a while, too. (Although Hillary is jonesing for that war now… and may even have Obama on board…)

It was pretty much what the newsmax guy was talking about except reality based, a truly hated “leader” getting ousted quietly by a military revolt. Of course, the newsmax guys don’t really want that, they want jack-booted thugs tasering, lrading and billy clubbing their intellectual superiors. And they’ll be standing in the background getting all hot and bothered going “yeah, yeah… smash them hippies.” In their dreams, anyway.

30.
Aaron | October 1st, 2009 at 2:00 am

“The good times will roll, and Papaver somniferum should grow nicely in these parts.”

It does indeed, Alexius — there’s no other kind of poppy.

31.
geo8rge | October 1st, 2009 at 7:11 am

You will notice that about the time of the publication of the article Obama started sounding off about the Iranian WMD. Any connection? Maybe the article was an effective threat, or perhaps just noise from a 5-th tier wanna-be columnist.

32.
Alexius | October 1st, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Aaron, there are 120 species of Papaver. All will produce some, if slight, narcotic effect. Only Papaver somniferum is useful for extracting opium. There are, of course, multiple varieties of somniferum. (some with maturity as short as 55 days, though the traditional varieties used for opium require 100+ days)

33.
Toba | October 1st, 2009 at 2:21 pm

” Bringing guns to presidential speeches ” counts as STUPID because the Secret Service will see to it that you and them will have a “special relationship” for the rest of your life.

34.
wengler | October 1st, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Yeah, I can see an officer’s coup being very popular in this country…

This guy does know that the military is occupying two hostile countries overseas, right? That DC is full of Obama-supporting black people(not Newsmax readers), who have access to guns and can cause an immediate popular revolt to be joined by tens of millions across the country. Hell, in Honduras Zelaya had every single significant governmental institution line up and endorse the coup against him and yet there he is in the capital today with tens of thousands of supporters surrounding the Brazilian embassy and the interim government only holding on to a lukewarm DC lifeline(which has refused to classify it as a coup).

These rightwingers simply don’t understand how isolated and unpopular they are.

35.
diggety | October 2nd, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Reading these comments. You moonbat libs make me sick. You people are anti-American, anti-Capitalist, anti-Free Speech, anti-Human…. and all you seem to want is what the rest of us have.

36.
KillNiggers | October 3rd, 2009 at 11:29 am

You can laugh all you want. But Obama and you Leftist psuedo-marxist scum will be removed one way or another. Proud racist right wing terrorist reporting in.

37.
true | October 3rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm

@20 waffentwerp really is a great term. Did Ames invent it? If so, that and beigeist will hopefully catch on in the modern American lexicon. I’ll do my part by using them at every opportunity.

“You can laugh all you want. But Obama and you Leftist psuedo-marxist scum will be removed one way or another. Proud racist right wing terrorist reporting in.”

It’s pseudo, not psuedo.

You capitalised “Leftist”, but not “marxist”? Odd.

Proud grammar-Nazi reporting in.

Keep polishing your pistol, loud-mouthed racist dingbat!

40.
George B | October 4th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

I got as far as “They can see the horror of major warfare erupting simultaneously in two, and possibly three, far-flung theaters …” before cracking up. Seriously, man?

41.
bob | October 4th, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Psuedo is a perfectly good word. It is a kind of shoe worn by Marxists.

42.
pedro | October 4th, 2009 at 3:18 pm

What ever happened to the War Nerd? I like him better.

43.
Polkovnik666 | October 4th, 2009 at 3:45 pm

PUSK!

44.
sonic | October 6th, 2009 at 9:45 pm

Can you imagine what would happen in the cities if they tried to remove Obama, think of the coup against Chavez in 1992 (but with lots more guns)

45.
Rory | October 12th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

…. Does it actually say anywhere in the constitution that particular industries or businesses can’t be Nationalized in some regard? Is there actually any kind of documentation of any of the Founding Fathers directly blasting Social Democracy, a concept which didn’t even really exist at the time?

46.
Slithe | October 20th, 2009 at 6:41 pm

Rory, the US Constitution is rather short (something no small number of people I have met are proud of), and it therefore is rather vague on many issues. It explicitly gives Congress the right to establish a government-run post office, but other than that, there is nothing.

47.
buddyy4 | March 2nd, 2010 at 12:36 am

smoke another joint, baby. drop another lude. you’re as fucked as your “me generation” ever was. it’s about to blow – guess what m’r f’r – it NEVER was about you to begin with – dumb ass!!!! drop a lude for me.

48.
robert jones | August 22nd, 2010 at 8:12 am

liberalism is for the weak brain washed…its an easy way ..just keep blaming someone else (wussie tactics) all the while destroying what gives the right to do so “freedom” liberalist are sick and diseased,self loathing fools that end up being tools. declare war on liberal marxist scum brain washed traitors…they are the true terrorist…

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