Not Much to Do With Zombies

Item 1 – “Norwal”. GENIUS.

Item 2 – Not surprisingly, we have the same dream job.Except that mine would need to include karaoke. I confess, I do not understand myself.

Item 3 – I am also writing! And you … (desperately searching for a non-“should” word here…) might enjoy (haha! success!!) reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I just finished it and had monstrous breakthroughs concerning my writing and the whole of life as a creative practice. She’s a delight. Jeff Goins is also a marvel.

Item 5 – Don’t even act like there isn’t a cassette player in my car. Because there is. I may never actually join the modern era… as evidenced by my liberal use of the octogenarian vernacular. (It’s part of my charm.)

Item 6 – I begin to understand how it is that persons divorce and then remarry each other.

Interesting phenomenon, this whole ‘break-up-and-get-along-better-than-you-did-before’ thing. I’m not sure what to make of it.

At this age, I have to admit that I have become rather attached to my own style of life. I believe the Irishman has become equally attached to his. (Even though his is dumb.) 😉 (Just kidding.) (Not really.) Well, I don’t mind telling you, his style and mine do not match. Living in the same house has not worked, pretty much from the get go. But now that I have my own space and he has his, it seems he is remarkably more tolerable to me than previously.

Interesting.

Maybe we just need to get a duplex and pretend it’s one house so people will think we’re normal.

I think it would take more than a duplex to pull off that particular deception.

I’m confused as to how it is that people “relationship”. Like, seriously. How does that work? Because I don’t seem to have the tiger by the tail when it comes to this stuff. I’m with you on the whole Impeaching of the Shoulds, but how does one do that exactly while attempting any sort of connection with another? Particularly a romantic connection?

Romantic.

What a stupid word that is.

So I guess I’m on board with the books and pints of ice cream. And in the case of the best books, we could also go in for a truly well cast screen adaptation. But if we’re going to believe in truly well cast screen adaptations of excellent books, I suppose we may as well just pretend men are worth living with and skip the whole thing…

Also had a breakthrough with The Child. Do you know I detest 10-year-olds? Not always, and detest is too strong a word to use in polite company, but since you are not polite company 😉 , I will admit that, as a rule, I have tremendous difficulties with children of that age. Most particularly when they idolize me a bit too much for my personal comfort level. I don’t know what it is about that stage of personality development, but it doesn’t work for me. Having realized this, finally, I discussed it with The Child the other night. It is an odd conversation to have with a person, but I didn’t want him to spend the rest of his life thinking he is inherently annoying just because he doesn’t understand why I’m annoyed all the time nowadays. Seemed to relieve us both. And then he made several comments I can only suppose were meant to be jokes about being as annoying as he likes because he can’t help it anyway since he’s ten, and I wonder if I’ve created a monster…

I’m going to rent myself out – NO, not like that! – as a personal thrift shopper. It’s pretty much my favorite thing to do, and I’m quite good at it. My closets are pretty well bursting at the seams on account of my thrift shopping proficiency levels, so I think it is time to use my gifts for the good of humanity. I have two clients as of last night at karaoke. I think I’ll probably make, like, 50 cents an hour, so minus gas and mileage it should be a decidedly non-lucrative venture. But I’ll have no supervision, and I can take as many wine breaks as I need, so at least I’m living up to some of the appropriate criteria.

I have never in my life heard of the dancing plagues. I may look into it. Or I may just wait and read your book when it’s finished. So hurry up.

I was going to sign off with a mention of my undying admiration but undying is too near undead and then it just turned into this big weird zombie thing and that doesn’t go with the theme of my post, so I’m just going to say goodbye.