Pippy’s serenade

Another photo of Justin Timberlake at his wedding. This is probably the best one out of all we’ve seen. Obviously the shot of him ME ME ME-ing all over head wasn’t ideal. And the one of him kissing her cheek on the alternate cover didn’t show enough of his face. You can see his face here but amazingly enough he doesn’t look like a smug dick for a change. And even crazier, he let her stand in front of him. And look, she looks beautifully happy and ... appreciative. Which is, obviously, the desired emotion, right? She should be grateful that he married her and invited her to their wedding.

Many of you have written to offer your commentary on his serenading her down the aisle. It was a song he wrote for her, for the occasion. And almost all of you believe that it was yet another example of his ego taking over all of it. As my friend Lorella put it, “THE ONE F*CKING MOMENT WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS ABOUT YOU. He couldn’t even give her that”.

I don’t know if I agree with this entirely. Mostly, but not entirely. And you know I welcome all opportunities to sh-t on Pipsqueaks. But I’m not sure if the act of writing a song and performing it for his intended as she’s on her way to become his wife isn’t actually a sweet gesture. The act of it, I mean. Isn’t that an unimpeachable act? Like…a musical vow?

To me, in this case it wasn’t the act that was offensive. What was offensive was how he described it:

"It was an original piece I wrote specifically for the evening and for her... I figured if there was something I was going to be able to offer, it would be to sing her down the aisle. Grown men were weeping. Hopefully it's because I didn't sound bad."

You’re an all-star recording artist, you twat. How bad could you possibly sound? And once again, does every moment have to be about YOU?

Here’s how it should have come out:

I wanted her to walk down the aisle hearing through my music how much she means to me. I wanted her to have that in her memory forever. I did it FOR HER. And she loved it and that’s all that matters.

Some sh-t like that. Corny but honourary.

Instead, Justin Timberlake’s serenade became about how he delivered such an incredible performance, even men could not help but cry out of awe of his talent. But still… even through their tears, you know, he’s not sure if he s-cked or not.

Right, so will he apologise, as a few of you’ve been asking, for that vile homeless video his friend played at his wedding?

You remember what he did to Janet Jackson after the whole nipple scandal at the Super Bowl? You remember that? When he punked her off like a spineless little prick and let her eat it while he escaped from that situation totally unscathed?

Take that as your precedent and now tell me if you think he’ll apologise.