Thursday, February 27, 2014

Put a cap on it!

That's right, the chapeaumeisters at Walz have engineered a special black-on-black (or "murdered out" if you're a douchebag) BSNYC edition of their Urban Wool cap. It's subtle--as subtle as the "b" in "subtle." It's comfortable. It's stylish on the bike, off the bike, and even during that awkward in-between moment when you're half-on and half-off the bike. And it tells the world you read the greatest cycling blog ever written, but that you flip over to this blog when the greatest cycling blog ever written is having server troubles.

Buying this hat will solve every problem you have in your life, plus it will make me a rich woman (I'm already a rich man, but I'd like to try being a rich woman for awhile), so buy 500, or just one if you're a cheapskate.

[By the way, now that Walz are offering two BSNYC caps, that means we've technically got a "collection," which means I'm going to have to hit the tanning beds and shoot a "lookbook."]

Remember Bike Snob Daily News? The one who hated riding a Citi Bike because it didn't offer her the magic carpet ride of her exquisite SE Draft? No? Well, I wrote all about her last May, and earlier this week I was feeling nostalgic and read her "review" again. It's especially funny nearly a year later, since Citi Bike turned out to be a success. This has required writers like Bike Snob Daily News to find new angles from which to undermine the program, and she's done just that:

2) Associates bike share with the transplanted caricatures who are gentrifying the city into complete and total unaffordability, to wit:

“We need an affordable way to get to work,” said Benjamin Stelly, 24, Buckley’s live-in boyfriend, a studio director who hails from Texas.

Alas, they've played right into Bike Snob Daily News's hands, having evidently rolled up their pants in order to place their feet right in their mouths. An affordable way to get to work from Harlem? Absurd! It will never happen:

Well-played again, Bike Snob Daily News. I think Spike Lee just read that article and plotzed. An anti-Citi Bike rant should be forthcoming. I doff my Walz cap to you.

Court winWhile the SCA ruling is a further blow to Armstrong as he faces several lawsuits, a Los Angeles judge dismissed a fraud lawsuit, ruling that he engaged in mere "puffery" and not illegal false advertising when claiming that FRS energy products were his secret weapon for success.In 2013, Armstrong was sued by a group of FRS consumers who sought more than $5 million from FRS and Armstrong for misleading them into buying their products, which include energy drinks.Armstrong claimed the products were his "secret weapon" behind his seven consecutive Tour wins when in fact doping was his real secret weapon, according to their suit. The plaintiffs argued that if they had known the truth about his doping, they would not have bought FRS products.

I was shocked to learn that people actually purchased and drank FRS, and I was also amused to note that apparently "puffery" is actually thing:

Puffery is a legal concept that relates to advertising, a notion that companies can make exaggerated or boastful subjective claims about their products and not be held liable for literal definitions about them.

I'm just glad to finally have a word for pretty much every aspect of bicycle marketing, as well as a title for the new magazine I'll be launching:

Actually, depending on production costs, I may go with "Puffery and Fluffery" and include a gratuitous nude centerfold in every issue.

Speaking of puffery, no city likes to puff itself up more than Portland, and a reader recently reminded me of this touching story:

This story hits on every essential Portland smugness story plot point, among those being:

--Person who does not own a car;
--Person who bought bike at co-op;
--Person who completely failed to lock bike and was subsequently crushed;
--Interaction with scary homeless person;
--Touching glimpse into scary homeless person's humanity and subsequent realization that they are people too;
--Renewed faith in a city where, apparently, you can be completely out to lunch and everything will just fall into place anyway.

Bike Snob Daily News lady pretty cute. You should send her a hat. Speaking of which, I don't quite get it. Love the blog and have purchased, read and enjoyed all three of your books but not sure I want to wear a hat around that advertises that. But hopefully some will and you will become the rich lady of your dreams.

The magazine to read up on the latest and greatest cycling news, gawk at nude centerfolds, and a special Q&A section in each issue with our very own BSNYC on Pegging called, "Upon the Seatpost (sans saddle)".

I had spent the afternoon in a forgotten part of Soho, trying to track down a particular flannel shirt. Shopkeeper after shopkeeper would send me to this tiny boite, or that out-of-the-way establishment, but each time I came away empty-handed. Cold and discouraged, I tried the door of a small store near the end of an alley. The windows were unlit, so at first I thought the place was closed. When my eyes adjusted to the soft light, I realized I was in the presence of a well-curated, minimalist collection: a few choice books, some Australian-sourced lighting -- and two hats. The cold still in my bones, I lifted the wool version off its stand. Black. Subtle. Even subtler, black initials along one side. I eased it onto my head. Perfection. I've worn it ever since, and it only improves with age. That alley? Gone. Progress, they say. But the hat lives on. Did I mention the Ass-Savers? Got those, too.

I've got this crazy old rusty possibly a Hawthorne frame with a skip tooth chainring, it has no front wheel and a very corroded rear rim with a working Morrow coaster hub, could I fit it with 700 rims and say 38C tires so I could ride it and if so would it be ok to wear a BSNYC murdered out hat on such a sick ride if I got it up and running?

Depressingly, Ms. Simone Weichselbaum famous Citi-bike critic and former unimaginative 8 year-old, won an award for something. The Be’chol Lashon Media Award to be precise. I don't know the criteria for the award, but it was for a piece she wrote about Jewish bicycle bloggers who move.

Puffery refers to an exaggeration or statement that no reasonable person would take as factual. It often occurs in the context of advertsing and promotional testimonials. Puffery may be used as a defense to a warranty or fraud claim, to assert that the plaintiff shouldn't have relied on the statements in issue. Puffing generally is defined as “exaggerated, vague, or loosely optimistic statements about a company that are deemed so immaterial and unworthy of reliance that they cannot serve as the basis for liability. The difference between a statement of fact and mere puffery rests in the specificity or generality of the claim." Phoenix Payment Solutions, Inc. v. Towner, 2009 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 91978 (D. Ariz. Oct. 2, 2009)

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!