Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate.

Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

As a fan of X-Men franchise I was excited to go see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Actually excited would be an understatement. I went from hating Hugh Jackman for playing Wolverine, to not wanting to see anyone else touch that role…………ever. Even after going to a concert the night before (operating on 140 minutes of sleep), a long day of work, watching a triple overtime game instead of taking a nap, I was STILL not going to miss the midnight showing.

I’m usually able to measure how much I enjoyed a movie by the first thing I say when the movie is over. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: (disgusted tone) That’s it?
The Dark Knight: (Laughing) I guess so
Me: This was a terrible idea for a midnight show
Babiherc: (sitting in silence) Maybe they’ll show us more after the credits.

Without even discussing the movie I knew this was not a good sign.

The movie revolves around Wolverine’s checkered past that ultimately lands him with the X-Men. You see how Logan becomes Weapon X, and his relationship with Victor Creed aka Sabertooth (Live Schreiber). Along the way you meet a host of characters, a young Williams Stryker (Danny Huston), Gambit (Taylor Kitsch), and Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds).

I won’t bore you with pretending that I even enjoyed the movie. I couldn’t write anything last night because 1) I was so tired I felt like one of those zombies from Dawn of the Dead 2) I was angry last night and felt that my review may not have been fair. It would have started with the phrase, “At midnight I parachuted into a pile of baby diapers. Some of you may know this as X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” Maybe that was a little bit much.

I don’t want to spend my time bashing this movie. That’s like ugly jokes about the ugly kid at school. Yeah it’s funny, but not really original. A better use of my time would be letting moviegoers know a few facts before seeing this movie.

Q: Will the movie be packed?

A: Yes! It will be really packed because we all believed the hype. There were a few coughs that made me nervous. I felt like I was at a swine flu party. It may be wise to bring your mask if you have one or at least some hand sanitizer. Come to think of it, this movie is a lot like the swine flu. I’m not sure why it’s so bad, but it is. I strongly urge people to stay away, and not to see this movie in groups

Q: Is it worth waiting till after the credits are over?

A: Yes if you care to see who was the strong grip in the film. Maybe you are dying to know was casted as “scared African-American woman” (I wish I was making this up). There are some tidbits after the movie but they do not require you to stay any longer. You’d be better off joining the angry mob outside.

Q: Was the story at least good?

A: NO! If I spoke anymore languages I’d tell you NO in those languages as well. This may be why the studio kept the story hush-hush for so long. They knew they had made-for-TV movie script on their hands and lied to us all. The plot was all over the place, no developed characters, and not to mention they didn’t tell an “origin” story about Wolverine. I told my co-worker I could re-enact the movie for her with butter knives for half the price of admission.

Q: Was there some good action?

A: There was action. The movie didn’t show you anything you hadn’t already seen on the trailer. As I’m typing, I can’t even think of a single action sequence that was memorable. Maybe I’m still disgusted that I was up late watching this movie, but I really can’t think of anything. The movie did give us a 3-way tie for worst acting in 2009: 1) Vin Diesel/Paul Walker combo in Fast & Furious 2) Beyonce in Obsessed and 3) Will.I.AM in X-Men Origins: Wolverine aka swine flu.

My suggestion: Not only was it not great, I felt bad coming to work today and having to break the bad news to all my co-workers. The looks on their faces told it all. It was like telling a kid there was no Santa Claus. They knew it was true, but just didn’t want to hear it. Just like the swine flu I would advise you not to come in contact with. I would avoid it if at all possible.

Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate.