25 January 2011 10:16 AM

Why Cueto won't look beyond Friday night in Cardiff

Mark Cueto is doing his best impression of Popeye. Emerging fresh from a pre-lunch work-out, the tattoo on his forearm bulges like he has just downed a tin of spinach. Luckily for me, the weights room has taken the sting out of his handshake.

The lunch we are about to eat is five courses, inspired by each of the nations England face over the next eight weeks and served in match order. The sponsors are seemingly implying Cueto is the English dish and the blushing waitress seems to agree. Or, at least, her cheeks seem to.

Cueto is markedly English; softly spoken and polite. He is so polite he refrains from talking with his mouth full, not an ideal set of circumstances for a lunchtime interview.

The next problem is he refuses to discuss any course served after the Welsh rarebit starter. Not that I was interested in the sophistication of his palette, but I did want to know how he felt about playing France at home and Ireland away during the Six Nations. And that imminent World Cup in New Zealand.

'There's no point talking about it,' he says, politely but firmly and, of course, between mouthfuls. 'There's no point playing the game of your life against Wales and then slipping up next week on the potential banana skin that is Italy. And there's no point worrying about the World Cup. Obviously it's very close in the grand scheme of things but our immediate future is Wales. You look after the here and now and the future falls into place.'

He is beginning to sound like John Cleese in that episode of Fawlty Towers: Whatever you do, don't mention the World Cup. 'I will put my house on the fact now that during the course of the six weeks we're together for the Six Nations the World Cup will not get mentioned.' He's remarkably sincere with the point.

During the course of lunch, a couple of bits of news break. Delon Armitage is charged for swearing and shoving an RFU tester, playground-style, while Matt Stevens is grabbed by 'random' testers following his first training session with Saracens after his two-year ban.

Cueto has had his own drug drama in the early hours of the morning, missing the first test of his career because he forgot to inform the RFU he was taking the 7.40am train to London for this lunch. He called his club and country managers instantly and prevented any major drama. The missed test becomes a very minor blip on an otherwise unblemished record and his England team-mates could learn a thing or two.

So could the other two members of England's back three, Ben Foden and Chris Ashton, who made their starting debuts less than a year ago but have since become the poster boys of English rugby. The trio are fast becoming something of a Holy Trinity, with Cueto the unsung hero — statistically the best attacker in the world this Autumn yet hogging none of the headlines.

For the record, Cueto believes he could have scored that try of the century if Australia wing Drew Mitchell had caught up with Ashton at Twickenham. Cueto was bounding off his wing and screaming for the ball, but as it turned out his team-mate didn't need him.

'In terms of form and ability, Foden and Ashton are up there with Jason Robinson and Josh Lewsey,' he says. 'Ashy's one of those guys, you meet him once you know what you're getting. People seem to think in the professional era, if you put together a decent team you can stick anyone on the wing. It's not true and the good thing about this side is we've got a great blend of young guys who are performing exceptionally well and old guys who are playing with so much experience.'

His gushing enthusiasm for the current England team is immediately followed by a timeless caveat. 'Form tends to go out the window for the Six Nations. Regardless of how teams have fared in the autumn, the Six Nations just seems to bring out a different mentality in sides. Teams just raise their game, particularly against England. Everybody hates the English don't they?

'You're always facing different challenges with different teams. The aim of the autumn was to move away from that one win in Sydney and not be a team that was always talking about one win. Now we've got to stop everyone talking about that one win at Twickenham in November. We've got to keep getting results like that.'

One thing that will help with that ambition is familiarity. For once, the Sale captain is looking forward to jetting off to the Algarve for some Winter sun and last-minute training with friends rather than strangers. 'Compared to previous years, it's going to be great to meet up with familiar faces. There's been years gone by where you've been in camp in the autumn with 30 players and you go into the Six Nations with a totally different 30 and it's like you've got to start again. Whereas the continuity we have now, we're not starting again every time we meet up. We can hit the ground running.'

I'm left with the theme tune of Cheers echoing in my head. The England squad, 'where everybody knows your name'. At least it's a start.

Comments

You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear on this weblog until the moderator has approved them. They must not exceed 500 words. Web links cannot be accepted, and may mean your whole comment is not published.