I think daycare is great for all kids- no matter what their parent does while their there.

I don't think that childcare should be subsidized for non-working/studying parents though. This is a personal opinion and I don't think it needs to be voiced (other than when specifically asked such as you have).

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I can't quote all the responses on my phone..

The point I am trying to make is not about the priority of access (which other posters have covered) its about your child being in care. If its ok for a working parents child to be in care ft than how can it be detrimental for a sahp's child? I get that the idea is 'appalling' but if you take you own emotions out of the question it's really no different either way. I have looked after children who attend ft care while a parent stays at home, her children were no different to the other children. Someone asked why have children then? Well why do people who work ft have children? You might answer that working full time is a necessity but there are lots of reasons why a sahp might use ft care as well and why they may not work. I don't think you can know/judge unless you *really* know the situation. That aside I don't really think they need to justify why- it's a service they are paying for.

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And yes I get that centers don't always enforce the priority of access either before or after enrollment, they actually have to so call licensing in your state and complain don't vent about it on bubhub!

I have two of my kids one day a week and I've just applied to have the 3 of them in for 2 days a week.

I never though about putting them in, but when DS2 got his Autism diagnosis, it was part of the treatment plan. And to be honest, the kids adore it. They talk about it all the time. They want to go all the time etc etc.

As to the working mums who say they "need" the places and SAHPs don't. Hmmm, well - at the end of the day one could argue that is your choice. Our choice was to move our family away from the city - where all of our friends and family live, to a new town where we knew nobody, so that we could afford to live on one wage and have me at home. There was no way I would be able to afford 3 kids in childcare 5 days a week, working or not.

I look at my friends, who buy houses that they just can't afford, struggling for every dollar, not being able to survive without both parents working etc. And I feel bad for them - but that is their choice, to have that lovely house in the city.

I definitely understand that single parents need the spots. I'm not talking about single parents.

But we all make sacrifices when we become parents - I am so over the "us" vs "them" judgey crap. Seriously- who the heck cares if someone has kids in childcare - even if they are *gasp* a stay at home parent. At the end of the day, you don't know if they have PND, if their kids are Specials needs, if their relationship is breaking down - another million things that may be going on in that family.

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Originally Posted by beebs

But we all make sacrifices when we become parents - I am so over the "us" vs "them" judgey crap. Seriously- who the heck cares if someone has kids in childcare - even if they are *gasp* a stay at home parent. At the end of the day, you don't know if they have PND, if their kids are Specials needs, if their relationship is breaking down - another million things that may be going on in that family.

I personally wouldn't do it but I don't care if stay at home parents put there kid in day care 1-2 days a week. I do think it's wrong for a stay at home parent to put their child into full time daycare Monday-Friday all day without any exceptional circumstances.

In saying that I wouldn't put my child into daycare while being a SAHM ; I only have 1 child and she's an infant. But I still don't see it changing. When I go back to work. And I'm only going back 2 days a week so mum will have her on the weekday and DH on the weekend. So I'm lucky not to HAVE to send my child to daycare but I still wouldn't send them by choice.

Never say never. I thought the same thing but when my dd was 3, no matter who looked after her, she was just bored. she needed more stimulation and by deciding to send her, she certainly improved in all ways.. my ds1 is about to start 2 days next week, he's not bored, he's not naughty, he just needs to improve communication skills and how to speak a lot more than he does. We can always say i'll never use daycare, but until you realise that maybe it will be a benefit to your child you never know.. Staying with grandma/aunty etc isn't the same as doing a structured routine like daycare does.. (well unless grandma etc do the same thing..)

I personally wouldn't do it but I don't care if stay at home parents put there kid in day care 1-2 days a week. I do think it's wrong for a stay at home parent to put their child into full time daycare Monday-Friday all day without any exceptional circumstances.

In saying that I wouldn't put my child into daycare while being a SAHM ; I only have 1 child and she's an infant. But I still don't see it changing. When I go back to work. And I'm only going back 2 days a week so mum will have her on the weekday and DH on the weekend. So I'm lucky not to HAVE to send my child to daycare but I still wouldn't send them by choice.

I agree with your comments - SAHM with 1-2 days of daycare I don't judge....any more without exceptional circumstances I do judge.

And daycare isn't necessary for school preparation, you will probably have people try and convince you, I know I did. All 3 of mine started at Kindy (or Pre-Prep) without any daycare and absolutely excelled.

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I haven't read through everyone's responses but l have no issues with SAHM using daycare a few times a week. Everyone needs a break.

If they were using it 5 days a week I would be wondering why they would need it so often. It could be that they are not handling being a parent, they could be ill or looking after someone who is sick, or they didnt want look after their child so they can go shopping and socialise.

DD1 (almost 2.5) is in daycare 4 days a week while I'm home on mat leave with DD2 (6 months).

We didn't want her to lose her place - childcare is really hard to come by where I live. DD2 will start at the same centre in January when she's 1, so having a sibling there already will be great for her too.

DD1 absolutely loves it and gets so much out of it. Plus she's a real livewire and would be bored to tears at home with me all day every day.

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