When you have a trusted pet, you want that pet by your side at all times. A source of comfort, of joy, and unconditional love, a beloved dog never lets you down or talks back, and always wants to bestow a good face lick or two.

Awwww, Fluffy!

Unfortunately, even dogs are mortal, and even the most beloved pet eventually has to make his way into the Great Beyond. When you find yourself sad and alone, despondent over the loss of your friend, never fear! We at the MoWTF Gift Shoppe can help you!

Just bring us the scrotum of the dearly departed and our MoWTF taxidermists will turn his junk into a beautiful set of nuggetized testicle earrings, just for you! For an additional fee they may be set into a necklace or ring. Even though Fluffy may have shuffled off his mortal coil, he can still be your trusted companion at work or cocktail parties!

Memories are made of this.

Non-sequitur recommended tag: Great Comet. As I am not sure which comet they’re assigning the definition “great” I’m going to assume they mean the Great Comet of 1680, which was the first comet discovered by telescope. Thanks, WordPress! How weird of you.