Back in the dim and distant I used to write copy for the Top of the Pops website. Yesterday I was asked to provide samples of my online writing, so I dug out this little beauty from 8 years back to demonstrate how I can tailor my writing to an established house style; in TOTP’s case the house style was basically ‘snarky pisstake* with lots of alliteration’. Top 5 Most Depressing Depeche Mode Lyrics You can keep your Smiths and your Leonard Cohens – the Mode are the kings of pain, the sultans of sadness, the maharajahs of misery, the apotheosis of angst. If you really want songs to slit your wrists to look no further than the Basildon lads, they’ll see you right. The first hint of the Mode’s future moroseness came with the early Vince Clark-penned track ‘Sometimes I Wish I Was Dead’, but it was the aptly named Martin Gore who took the theme to the heights. Or the depths, depending upon your perspective. For example, check out ‘Black Celebration’s little paeon of joy: “Let’s have a black celebration tonight, to celebrate the fact that we’ve seen the back of another black day.” Cripes lads, what’s wrong, your lottery numbers not come up again? Or perhaps someone else ate the last rolo? This title track of their fifth album from 1986 firmly established the band as far and away the most depressing mainstream popsters of the day. ‘Girlfriend In A Coma’? Pah! Suck on this, Mozza: “Girl of 18, fell in love with everything, found new life in Jesus Christ. Hit by a car, ended up...