Thursday, February 21, 2013

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: My Boy Growing Up

Okay, well I have a son. And he keeps coming home with papers about…gulp…MIDDLE SCHOOL.

Yes, he’ll be in middle school next year. Well, THIS year technically.

And I am so not ready for it.

He came home with information about joining the middle school band and a lump immediately formed in my throat. It was happening. He’d be in middle school.

“So you want to join band?” I asked him.

“No. Not at all,” he answered.

Oh.

Well, I’m not surprised. He’s not interested in things like that. No, he loves learning about the weather, George Washington, Mario (as in, video game Mario..)

“You can do string, percussion, choir…” I continued. “I did choir in middle school. I was awful at it though. I’m tone deaf, as you know, but I decided to try it. And sometimes the teacher would call on each of us to do a solo and I swear, he’d wince when I did mine. It was—”

I realized Tommy had left.

Oh.

Then he came home with an entire BOOKLET on what to expect in middle school. I almost panicked when I saw all the different classes. Math. Social Studies. World Geography. English.

How would he know where each class was?

What if he got lost?

What if someone pushed him in his locker?

What if he COULDN’T OPEN HIS LOCKER?

His fine motor skills aren’t the greatest. He struggles with tying his shoes. How would he manage twisting a lock to the appropriate number?

Then he came home with another paper where he could pick his electives. ELECTIVES!

Naturally he picked Hands On Science and something about historical figures.

I just don’t feel ready for this.

I mean, wasn’t he just this:

And now he’s off ot middle school? Where there are…DANCES! (Although he says he will not go to dances because he says A) he can’t dance and B) girls make him nervous and talk funny.)

This is a whole new ballgame. And the fact that he has Aspergers is going to make things a little more difficult. I don’t want him to get swallowed up. He has meltdowns when he’s confused. I do not want him to break down and cry and get teased. He can’t NOT cry. He’s a crier. That won’t ever change, I don’t think.

I seriously feel like I want to breathe into a paper bag sometimes when I see all these middle school papers surrounding me. I wish we were still at our last base where sixth grade was still considered elementary school. Then I’d have one more year to collect myself.

It's like that Kindergarten feeling all over again, isn't it? Like you're sending your baby into a snake pit and hoping they can fend for themselves. SO hard. I'm dreading those days. Tommy will be fine, though ... he's been fine so far! Chin up, mama!

One day at a time. Soon, too soon, you turn around, he's 30 and he's bringing you the best little antique wooden box for your soap display at the Farmers Market because he loves his mommy. Enjoy the ride

He will be fine and so will you :) I know the band might not be his thing, but sometimes getting involved in an organization like that can help to keep you from getting lost in the crowd. I went to a high school with a performing arts program and we had students with aspergers in our theatre program, some were on stage but many were behind the scenes and were very much part of the group. It also helped because certain teachers knew them better and were able to help keep an eye out in case of challenges. Hang in there :)

We are getting close here too. Frances has one more year in Elementary school and then she's off to middle. Try to remember that it's not just him going to middle school. All his classmates are going too. He won't be alone. He'll be there with friends he already knows. Oh...and, breathe!!

You guys will be able to figure it out. Just practice with him a lot. I know it's common, when you get your schedule to practice walking from class to class. Or get a map of the school and highlight the classrooms he'll have. I did that when I first got to college and was afraid I'd get lost. Maybe get a lock that spins like a locker and have him practice?

Oh girl- my oldest is only in 2nd grade and I am already dreading middle school. I think I will just be doing a lot of praying for my kids everyday when they hit that age as I won't know what else I can do.

First: If he is not the most adorable little one I've seen all day, then I don't know who is. Second: Please don't remind me of how quickly our children grow. My daughter is only 2, and already I'm dreading Kindergarten. Yikes! Visiting from SITS.

Breathe darlin' breathe! He'll be fine. Oldest is in middle school this year and he has Asbergers as well (though high functioning). He found his locker,opened it and is doing fine. Ironically his rule following and extreme attention to detail has managed to keep him organized and on the honor roll (TWICE!!!)

Kids picked on him... it was tough, but he is stronger for it. He has found his "clique" and yes... has had great fun at dances... even though they also opened the gym and when I went to pick him up, I found he had played basketball most of the night.

My son gave me this piece of advice, to give to a co-worker who's son was about to start high school. Have him join something, anything that sparks his interest, because that gives him a sense of belonging. And if that club/team/whatever meets prior to school actually starting - even better - because then it gives them a better feel for the layout of the school.

Good luck. And here's another hug. It's funny how quickly they grow up, isn't it?

I taught middle school (well, we don't call it that, but it's the same thing), and I was always impressed with how well they adjust, and so quickly! He'll be fine, especially with you behind him, and you'll be fine too.

I know exactly where you're coming from on this, since my oldest started high school (!) this year and my youngest started middle school. It's really crazy to me that I have zero elementary school age kids. Since we had them young and I only just turned 34, I don't feel ready to have kids this old!

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