Category Archives: The quest for freedom

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The product owner claims it to be a product of empowerment for the middle aged women in India.Women who experience loss of faith in themselves and are treading upon the earth as diffident souls the product is no less than a magic potion for them.The spunk of greenness which is lost over the years can be re-established once again and you hapless women out their can once again be the virgin of your husband’s dreams.”The 18 Again gel will bring back the lost confidence of middle aged women and boost their self esteem as well “,asserts the product owner.To quote it bluntly the product will enhance the desirability of middle aged women and they could once again prove serviceable.It is hard to decipher how could anybody call such products as empowering tools of womanhood? The word liberation (of women) is growing more and more stymie with the passage of time,for women are being ensnared and trapped in the patriarchal trap shrewdly.

Why would a middle aged women feel the need to tighten her vagina?

1)To enjoy sex like a virgin ?

2)Or just to reconstruct her serviceableness for her man?

I think the second option is the appropriate answer,since it a known fact that men are obsessed with virgin status of a female .Studies in the same have revealed that middle aged men are enchanted by youth and virgin status of a female.So products like “18 Again” provide an opportunity to middle aged women to re -establish their value as sex objects .

’18 Again’ is another manifestation of empowerment-as-sex-object, especially coming as it does in a society that is adopting a western lifestyle whilst remaining shackled by patriarchal attitudes.

Far from empowering women, it is the latest incarnation of the tired virgin-whore dichotomy, which renders a woman either acceptable (virgin) or contemptible (whore), desirable or derisible.

Products like these can only be a brainchild of patriarchal beliefs.These products promulgate the notions of patriarchal suppression of female in the society .It a reminded to women that their value diminishes with age and sexual activity.Scores of middle aged women in our country are plagued by depression just because they ain’t able to satiate the sexual demands of their partners,and this also gives a licence to their partners to indulge in promiscuous activities .I have heard chronicles of several middle aged women who have been abandoned by their husbands on account of this reason only.Hence it is a matter of serious concern that products like “18 Again” will promote such notions of virginity in the society and nurture patriarchal fantasies of virgin hood.It would give impetus to the representation of women as objects of sexual gratification.Women would grow more and more conscious about their desirability status.

In the past years we have seen products offering fairness and freshness of the nether regions being audaciously televised.

(Coffee a reminder of the dark nether region of the wife and how dull and uninteresting

their life becomes devoid of any sexual indulgence ,culprit “THE DARK VAGINA”)

(Wife learns about this whiten your vagina cream )

(Ecstasy unparalleled and they live happy ever after….Rubbish)

Can one think of products on the same line for men?

These products simply make females obsessed about sexual desirability and reduce their status to being objects of sexual pleasure,to go as per the demands and commands of the potent a mute,passive receiver.A reminder to women that you become feckless if you don’t make any efforts to enhance and reconstruct your productivity from time to time.Products like these promote infidelity and promiscuousness.

Social responsibility which happens to be one of the important objectives of business should not promote patriarchy in any way.The responsibility is just not about keeping the men in the society healthy,happy and alive…..after all there’s life to life givers also.

Now a days femininity is contention,something which fosters ignorance instead of astuteness.Something which goads the practice of conceiving female as an object of pleasure.Femininity is the most run after word ,and most of the females favour the shallow definition of the same .The modern distorted definition is not something which empowers the female but is linked with sexual objectification of the same.

It’s about pink & teddy bears, diamonds,it’s about being tagged as a shopoholic,It’s about being a gossip queen,It’s about parading the flesh in public ,It’s about fighting a battle for liberty to wear short clothes,it’s about being pretty ,it’s about being sexy…but it’s never about freedom,astuteness,and lamentably it’s never about womanhood,about being crazy,disorganised,about being tough (for it’s masculine)it’s never about ipseity ,never about setting standards of sane womanhood,but always about living up to the shallow and cheapening standards laid down.

Married since past three months …..Clueless and baffled by the mute subscription of millions of females in our country and on the other hand having an exaggerated self opinion i didn’t .:)….Not that that i had to run the gauntlet to achieve the same but still puffed up just because i didn’t yield to the lines of male descent .I know that now some robust minded people would look down upon me for my inanity of trying to project myself as a revolutionary female who is trying hard to knock down the patriarchy but nescient that by sticking to her maiden surname still is an upholder of the same patrileneal tradition.Yes, compatriots i am very much aware of this fact that i am still a campaigner of patrilineal traditions of carrying the father’s surname but couldn’t find a rescue in taking up my mother’s surname since she also adopted it from her father and so it won’t clear up the confusion anyhow nor would i propose to simply do away with the system altogether since it’s highly impracticable and unreasonable(No intent to give hand to caste system .:)

Personally ,i am quite okay with the tradition of inheriting the surname of one’s father which is out and out a patrilineal practice but not so bitter as is the case with the surname change drill that takes place post marriage .Logic behind such acceptance being that the parent(be it the father or mother)is someone who cultivates the individual ,is responsible for the rearing of the child and also some one from whom a child acquire her/his identity .Hence, adopting the surname of any of the two parents should be an acceptable practice anywhere round the globe(this also suggests adopting the mother’s surname should also be a welcomed practice).

But what makes me disquieted is the practice of adopting the husband’s surname after marriage.Of course many traditionalist would argue that this is done in order to ward off ambiguity and maintain uniformity .It also reflects the acceptability ,adaptability ,submissiveness and sacrificing nature of the woman(Oh! yes sacrifice even to the extent of changing one’s identity ,and why not?after all it’s so facile as the principal constituent of identity for a female comprises of her outward appearance which goes through a whole lot of metamorphosis post marriage)however none of the above rationale convince me and nor does the practice of name joining .

For most it’s highly impossible to conceive this thought to the fullest ,since in the middle of the deliberation process they would be impregnated with opinions about the proposer as to having irrational resistance to rational standards .

“Emancipation the most sought after word in the present day India,the actual meaning of the word can only be deciphered when you regard the battle which an oppressed person fights,for others the vocable is just a desultory quest,i think it’s high time we cut to the chase which will very soon become the hot topic for the purpose of cogitation ……Freedom vs civility ….

This one goes preeminently for the female folk in our country,their chase for emancipation is so shallow that somewhere it compels me to believe that somehow we deserve to be treated as the inferior one’s ,because we opt for voluntarily servitude to all the standards laid down and gender stereotyping, i cannot believe it to be something we call “mancipation” ….As campaigners against dress codes will liberate our body (only for the dissipation of the opposite sex)but what about liberating that soul which holds a different story ,which cries for an identity?

The other day i went to the mall(escapism),to take a break from the soul destroying routine ….. what i saw in the underground parking lot made me dash off this status today.A women somewhere in her 40s …….to describe her an idiom will suffice “mutton dressed as a lamb”…..free from the clutches of traditional dressing but caged by boorishness,this so called emancipated spirit ,jabbering in English made her young one take a leak in the parking lot…..and recklessly she stood there and after the drill she pranced away…..i am still trying to figure out was the lady really oblivious about the fact that there is no dearth of plumbing in a mall…..or was she just too liberated to be taught anything about civility ?….would any kind of revelatory insight on the concerned issue will be considered a dent on her freedom ?

Also i am inquisitive to know that whether the same lady would let her daughter pee in public with same audacity?If not should i establish that the lady is an upholder and campaigner of gender stereotyping ?Now most of the people would consider me cynical and accuse me of making sweeping comments ,but my status is an outcome of many such incidents “

Do you really feel that girls in our society are emancipated ? Or is it just a chimera? For i still see so many girls acceding to all the preposterous and erratic beliefs concocted by the male dominated society.Personally i feel that these girls are to be blamed for fueling the sweeping comments about the gender.Recently i came to know that one of my cousin declined to espouse a girl because she was corpulent.I mean it’s concedable that the girl was not at par with his standards,bewildered to know what followed the rejection.

My cousin didn’t actually said a complete no,but gave one month time to the girl and asked her to pull down some weight in this one month,and after one month he would meet the girl again.Isn’t it inane and incongruous and i was all the more baffled to know that the girl subscribed to this demand.What it exhibits?A girl who is competent,independent but still a slave to the male chauvinistic beliefs?What type of emancipation is this?

The word liberty conceived by women in general subsist as a relative term.As per my belief women have been thrown off the scent regarding the true nature of the word freedom.Liberty is absolute,unadulterated,downright and uncondensed .It’s really despicable to be a deponent of how the society have distorted the word for the womenfolk.I am infuriated with the sloven and gullible attitude of women in general.

Why we silently accept ?Why don’t we set at defiance all these askew indoctrination? If a women is allowed something which other women are not ,she starts believing that she is blessed and fortunate,turning a blind eye to the fact that she has been allowed to do something and was not the person to tip the scales.Freedom exists as a relative term for women,and most of them are blithe with this grisly state of affairs. Majority are even downright campaigners of this putrid and contaminated belief.

Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their opressors. ~Evelyn Cunningham

Freedom-the word subsist for women in our country within limits defined by the potent.It’s all the more appalling that women are appeased with the adulterated version of the very word.If we conscientiously analyze the lives of women around us, it would not be arduous to rubber stamp the same.Like i have asserted once or twice before that nothing can be taken away from you without your consent and even when something is snatched from you by the dint of coercion it happens just because you flunk to be strong.I didn’t feel like writing anything on my blog since past two three weeks because i got tired disparaging the society and it’s misogynistic beliefs.Indubitably i am vexed with the treatment meted out to women in our society,but i am all the more discombobulated with the compliance of woman in general with such beliefs.

It’s bewildering to be a deponent of such situation.Women in our country flunk to construe their identity when disassociated from the potent.Some are housewives because the potent wants them to function in that manner,and some are prostitutes again because the potent wants them to be.All the roles that women in our society are required to play are decided by the living god(men)…..the emotional, psychological and sexual stereotyping of a female begins from the very moment when she is born.,and it’s all the more stymie that woman in general never deprecate such beliefs.

I am highly irked whenever i hear anyone using the phrase “don’t cry like girls”.I have flunk to comprehend what it stands for?I am all the more irritated when i hear any girl using this phrase ….”Oh! Look at him ,he is crying like a girl”.It makes me surmise that crying is an effeminate quality.Since girls are vulnerable and feeble and cannot buckle down their problems and enemies so they resort to crying.Venting their agony is the only option they have in life.We assimilate these attitudes and behaviors through the stereotypes of what society thinks it means to “Act like a man”,”Don’t cry like a girl”.

These are gender stereotypes which are conceived by someone who believes in the decrepitude of womanhood.It’s all the more stymie how women flunk to comprehend the kernel of such stereotyping of the gender,and all the more are recklessly using this phrase.It’s like they are conceding with the belief and are promulgating it.It’s like we are being campaigner’s of our feebleness,and providing the male society with yet another reason to consider us as subordinate and feeble beings.

The phrase is a complete sham,after all we all are human beings and emotions is something which is common to all of us regardless of the gender.It’s just another form of gender stereotyping and it’s lamentable to see women behaving so oblivious to this fact.

I always believe nothing can be taken away from you without your consent,and even when something is snatched by coercion it’s because you flunk to be strong.Woman since ages have believed that men and religion are the only repository of intelligence and virtues.And being an upholder of such belief they comfortably give in to the demands of both.Not only women in our society are upholders of such misogynistic beliefs but also condemners of the non believing people.Any woman who tries to snap off from the accepted code of conduct is severely criticized by women the most.Also there is a disposition in most woman in our society to make other woman’s suffer in the same fashion they did.

A mother in law in our society will never abstain from tormenting her daughter in law,for the simple reason that she was offered the same behaviour.To me it seems quite similar to the practice of ragging in colleges,where the seniors rag their juniors and then those set of juniors who were tormented in the name of ragging will repeat the entire drill with the next junior batch,and the logic behind such practice is same,“I will give you what i was offered,when i was in your place”.The first thing we need to do if we demand liberation is to stand united.In general,women are quite blithe being what they are,for they think they are serving the purpose they were supposed to and so if any woman is vociferous about her identity,her human existence and rights she is outrageous.

If we want to change things for the better,we need to get rid of these prejudices and malpractices in the name of tradition and stand united.

Have you ever pondered that the stereotyping of females in our society starts at a very tender age.Girls from a very young age are sculpted to be homemakers ,stuffed with virtues.The stereotyping can be ferret out from the games allotted to both the genders in childhood,all women must have played the customary “Ghar Ghar”, a game meant for treating the childhood days of a girl.Even if boys are a part of the game they act cliche to the societal beliefs and constitute the earning member of the pseudo family.

“Barbie dolls Monomania”

As our games are defined ,so are our toys.I remember my craze for barbie dolls when i was a kid.Although i liked battery driven cars more than dolls but seeing my peers talking about barbie dolls,i developed a fad for barbie dolls.And when i possessed one i was quite riddled that why i got one,actually two.As per me it’s exceedingly boring to play with dolls,all you can do is comb their hair,dress them up,and that’s certainly no fun.If we ruminate we could conveniently apprehend that the obsession of girls with looks and personal care could be attributed to some extent to this phase of doll keeping.

Today Barbie doll has become a major icon for many young girls.It’s a complement if someone says “you look like a barbie doll”.But do you remember the song on barbie girl?

I’m a barbie girl, in the barbie worldLife in plastic, it’s fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I’m a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I’m your dolly
You’re my doll, rock’n’roll, feel the glamour in pink,
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky… You can touch, you can play, if you say:

“I’m always yours”

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,
hit the town, fool around, let’s go party
You can touch, you can play, if you say: “I’m always yours”

So being a barbie tantamount’s to being a bimbo,an object of male fantasies,isn’t it?Then why girls feel blithe being tagged as a barbie?Let me edify you all about barbie dolls.

” Barbie has become a major icon for young girls over the last several decades. Little do most people know, this pretty pink princess was based on a German prostitute comic strip character named Lili, who was later made into an 11 1/2 inch “sex pet” adult toy and sold exclusively in adult stores. In 1958, Mattel bought the rights to Lili and began the transformation from the adult toy to the Barbie doll that we know today. The traditional Barbie is known for her 40-18-32 measurements, her glasssy-eyed stare, her voluminous long blond hair, and her perfect features. We see in her a sparkling personality, wealth, and stylish fashions, and young girls find themselves wanting to be a supermodel just like Barbie when they grow up. Barbie sends the message that it is ideal to spend your time shopping and talking on the phone. When the first Teen Talk Barbie came out in 1992, the doll was pre-programmed to utter messages like “Math is tough.” Barbie further pushes girls into gender roles and stereotypes by emphasizing pink as the feminine color, glamour and fame, and the “perfect” body. Girls begin to stereotype the ideal female as the pretty, blond, and slim model that Barbie presents us.”

Courtesy: The Negative Portrayal of women

by Adena Young

Moreover the portrayal of women in cartoons is also not antithetic to the conceptualization of women in common life.The female figures in cartoons also are feeble and helpless and always needs a male as rescuer and liberator from a difficult situation.All i wish to assert is that the seeds of discrimination are sowed at a very tender age.Girls accept their feebleness and always look up to the man in their life to guard them.This just results in underestimating your own caliber.On the other hand a boy who have been raised in this fashion to believe in the feebleness and subordinate behavior of a women will never to able to accept any kind of divergence from the roles allotted.If we want to put an end to this gender dichotomy we need to cleanse every arrangement that fosters this discrimination.