Posts tagged ‘Games Workshop’

What the fuck? What the flying fuck? GW have shat on the Inquisition and focused their attention on their Chuck Norris Clone gimps in shiny armour?

Yes I know it’s a shock and will cue the nerd rage that once again the Inquisition has been forced to take a backseat in the wargame despite being the best thing about the Imperium. Especially as the goody two shoes Knights now have centre stage.

It appears at first that once again us Radicals have been betrayed in favour of our bone headed Puritan cousins.

However fear not this is not a betrayal. In fact it is a call to arms for Radicals and Inquisitor fans everywhere.

The Heretic Magus Mitenni is dead. Killed by the hand of my most useful servant Guardsman Jake “Hangman” Ketch of the Archasian XIV. This is a great victory for the Imperium of man. Mitenni and his cult have been causing us Imperial servants much trouble through their vile and blasphemous acts. This battle however was not without its casualties. It pains me to report the death of Chief Petty Officer Lucian Pertinax at the hands of Mitenni’s foul sorcery. A more complete report of what transpired is included below.

In The Emperor’s Name

Inquisitor Gnaeus Conlitor Ordo Hereticus

Before his demise in the flames of righteousness my heretical former brother Haldo Luftstien informed me of a Chaos cult operating on the planet. This cult has links to nearby Archasia and were planning to send over some members to coordinate their blasphemous efforts. And to think the Heretic Luftstien wanted to make deals with these foul demon worshippers as his perverted Recongrenator philosophy preaches. Madness. The tip-off lead me to a small shuttle craft in Mirrissa’s only space port Gordain’s Gambit. My retinue and I moved immediately to secure the craft hoping to catch the cult in the act.

I requested further back up from the Mirrissan PDF but my so-called “direct line” to the Governor’s office was in fact linked to a call center on the other side of the planet. The idiot on the other end couldn’t even speak proper Gothic.

My band and I were then set upon by Mitenni and a couple of Death Cultists from the Blood Hornet’s Blade cult. Which reminds me I really must investigate their links with Chaos when my schedule is not quite so packed. Noble Pertinax spotted a cultist leap from the shadows and fired his pistol at her, knocking her to the ground. I was on the other side of the Shuttle so I walked round to see where the shot had come from. I saw Pertinax standing over the death cultist ready to put an end to her heresy when I smelt the unmistakable stench of sorcery. Pertinax was repeatedly mentally assaulted by a heretical power commonly known as brain flayer. His mind was not strong enough and his head exploded spectacularly.

The cultist leapt to her feet and ran to assault me. A pitched melee battle with her dulled my awareness of the rest of the fight but it appeared Guardsman Ketch had run round from his side of the shuttle to see what the fuss was about, seen the Magus and immediately opened fire. With the Magus wearing cursed power armour most of his shots did nothing but true to his sharpshooting form enough shots were scored on the Magus’ head to bring him down.

Back to my side of the field and the cultist had been joined by another. I shattered her sword with my power stake forcing her into ineffectual hand to hand combat. Her sister was badly injured and soon lost conciousness with my repeated blows. Realising she had but one avenue of escape the unarmed cultist sped to the shuttle. I tried to pierce its hull with the Power Stake but true to Imperial workmanship it survived. The cultist launched the shuttle and fled away to a waiting Rogue Trader. Yet again the Mirrissian authorities’ incompetence was shown up as this heretic escaped our clutches. Still we have her sister and I have a special interrogation suite ready for her on Archasia.

Now, if you will excuse me, this Leman Russ Demolisher and I have an appointment at a certain Governor’s garden party. Drive on Ketch.

Blood Bowl is a computer game adaptation of the classic Games Workshop miniatures board game. Its stated aim is to capture the spirit of its tabletop equivalent and translate it into a violent sports game like no other. This it excels at.