Sex Stories We Love: Pics and Pecs, All You Have to Do Is Dream & Good Therapist Relationships

Takeaway:
This week, we look at whether the evolution of attraction can REALLY be determined by creepy public pic taking, what your sex dreams may mean, what sex is like for sex therapists, and more!

It is only natural, when experiencing something new or unusual to us, that we put our best thoughts into trying to interpret just what is happening. However, interpretation is a tricky thing. Sometimes our ideas could stray very far from reality and truth. At other times, no matter how obscure the situation, we can get it bang-on.

Repetitive Drivel

Have you also sensed a pattern? As more and more allegations and truths are revealed about celebrity men sexually harassing and abusing women, many of the same types of phrases are being offered to mitigate or deny the accusation. Of course, these words of diffusion and deflection are tailor-written by lawyers and spin doctors to ensure their clients maintain some kind of public appeal. However, attempting a commonality in sexual violence language just might do the opposite. The language of denial could actually be normalizing guilt without saying so. Is this helpful? It would definitely be better if someone caught out would just say “Yes, I fucked up, I did wrong and now I have to do whatever it takes to make amends.” Are you holding your breath?

Pics and Pecs

How much can we interpret about collective social values from the pervasiveness of social media? Apparently, reviewing anonymously posted photos of men taken in the London Tube reveals that women and gay men are attracted to men who appear to be physically fit and those who appear to have money. Personally, I’ve found taking photos of strangers in public places and then posting them online to be creepy beyond the pale. Yet, for the sake of argument, let’s pretend this is a totally normal, good-for-society thing to do. Does photographing these types of men really indicate they are the desired commodity of the male meat market? Or does it just prove that this type of man is presented as the ideal in mainstream media? Given the herd mentality of social media trends, I know I have my interpretation of these findings. Also, don’t take photos of strangers and post them. It's creepy.

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All You Have to Do Is Dream

Now, if you really want to have some fun with creative sexual interpretations, take a deep dive into your dreams that involve sex. Dream analysis has been around for a long time, but it has always been controversial. There is so much happening in our brains at any time, so much that we will probably never understand. How we are then meant to somehow take the random thoughts and situations that happen in our dream states and interpret them for meaning seems implausible. However, some have tried and here is a short list of things you can interpret from sexual situations in your dreams. This particular collections seems to focus a lot on exes, which leads me to interpret something about the author…

Massaging Conversations

Maybe the two fellas in Devon Delacroix’s column about a massage session gone uncomfortable should have had their dreams about non-monogamy analyzed first. As a sex worker, Devon is in a unique position of interaction with clients and, in some situations, can probably interpret issues with their situation in a different way than the client can. This encounter - which is not an uncommon one when a couple decides to open their relationship to another person - not only creates a new challenge for the couple, but also makes the situation very uncomfortable for the third. While left unsaid, it seems clear that one man was more interested in this sexual experiment than the other, but we are only left to speculate as to the circumstances. Even if you’re with someone a long time, you can’t ever attempt to interpret what their desires are without great communication.

Good Therapist Relationships

Really, communication is absolutely the better way over trying to interpret what others are saying or doing. Especially when it comes to sex. And that communication needs to go both ways. You can’t hold back or your feelings or intentions will likely be misinterpreted as well. Sure, we’re all bound to have fears and issues with opening up, and that’s okay. If we can all make an effort to free our sexual discussion to new levels of openness, we can, collectively, help to create a better sexual society. Already helping to do that are the growing number of sex therapists who help us interpret situations everyday. While we shouldn’t assume that it is easy peasy for sex therapists to open up in their intimate conversations and relationships, it is great to read that the connections they have with their spouses can provide a great jumping off point for the rest of us to make positive change.

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Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. He's a writer, editor, publisher, and former broadcaster, event organizer, and workshop facilitator. He's also the winner of the 2010 TNT Favourite Adult Journalist Award and one of Broken Pencil's 50 People and Places We Love, past co-host and producer of Sex City and the editor of Best Sex Writing of the Year.