Lydia Love wrote:I have yet to see polyamory work in practice. Someone always seems to feel left out in the cold. But that's from the outside looking in - someone must be making it work out there.

My wife and I were just talking about that last night. We came to the conclusion that, as our relationship is apparently so totally different from everyone else's, the fact that polyamory works for us means nothing in terms of it working for anyone else. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Lydia Love wrote:Do you two break any hearts along the way? What do you think is the key to making it work for you?

Just curious - and I don't think I'm sleeping any time soon

No, I don't think either of us has broken any hearts. We've had some potential relationships that didn't work out, and some that seemed to be going along fine and then fizzled out, but no broken hearts so far (thank goodness!).

We concluded last night that the key to poly working for us is the fact that, as corny as it might sound, we really are one another's best friends. She knows me better than anyone, and I her. We talk about everything, including our other relationships, totally openly and honestly.

When I was in SoCal last week and she had some issues with a friend and potential lover, she called me, and we talked for about two hours about what was going on. Last Saturday, a lover freaked out on me and I subsequently freaked out pretty hard myself. Julie talked and listened with me over the next couple of days. Apparently, this kind of closeness is pretty rare, even among polyamorous people.

(Just in case you're wondering, no, we don't have that kind of drama all the time! It's just been one of those times with lots of changes going on.)

We really do feel remarkably blessed with one another. We have, over the course of 22 years, reached a balance as friends, lovers, and partners that seems just perfect for us, and it just keeps getting better.

So, I think that's why it works for us where it doesn't (or doesn't as well) for quite a few others. Of course, all of that would be good if we were strictly monogamous, too.

Lydia Love wrote:I have yet to see polyamory work in practice. Someone always seems to feel left out in the cold. But that's from the outside looking in - someone must be making it work out there.

My wife and I were just talking about that last night. We came to the conclusion that, as our relationship is apparently so totally different from everyone else's, the fact that polyamory works for us means nothing in terms of it working for anyone else. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Well, my fiance and I manage to make it work. (Just as long as we do each other sometimes...)!

Raheer

Politics. From the Latin poly, meaning 'many', and the Modern English ticks, meaning 'blood-sucking parasites'....