Two hard drive bays. I don’t really need this, but it would be nice to have a nice 256GB SSD and also some raw space for tossing random ISOs.

Four USB ports. Yes, four.

Three hours of battery life. I don’t expect this thing to run without juice, but just long enough to get some work done during a reasonable car ride.

Weight and size are negotiable. I don’t need it to be thin and light, I expect it to save me from carrying around tons of dongles and cables and extras.

I would pay a lot of money for this laptop. Unfortunately for me, the laptop manufacturer’s designs are diverging in the opposite direction. The only manufacturer making high-res screens with powerful GPUs is Apple, who doesn’t even include a single ethernet port on their laptops. The opposite side is Lenovo, who has the technical oomph but is desperate to emulate Apple’s success by dropping buttons and keys as fast as they can but without replicating the screen resolution. Creating a laptop of my own, especially with such a custom set of requirements, is impossible. I can build a desktop to any possible spec and standard that I like, but we’re locked into the laptop models offered by today’s manufacturers. Unfortunately, those manufacturers are angling to take a larger share of the consumer market, not the enterprise market, which is working against me.