I'm Glad I'm A Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser,
beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I
won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at
parties and act like a clown and I know how to put the damned toilet
seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt my belt buckle's not
hidden beneath my beer gut and I don't go around "readjusting" my
crotch or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch I don't
belch in public, I don't scratch my behind I'm a woman you see -- I'm
just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have body hair
like shag carpeting It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack And what's on my
head doesn't leave with my comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my
dome Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side I'm a woman,
you know -- I've got far too much pride!
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit
like a Neanderthal I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band or tell you a story
to make you sigh and weep then screw you, roll over and fall sound
asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see you can forget all
about that old penis envy I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise
for chicks join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my ... genetalia
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true I'm so glad I'm a
woman and not a man like you!

If you want to hear a hilarious song, click here! Be prepared to laugh!