18. He is obsessed with Hillary

Remember before 2008 when all Dick Morris talked about was Hillary Clinton? He wrote a dozen books about her and toured the country warning she would bring about the apocalypse or something?

I always imagined he had a private shrine to Hillary in his closet, complete with photos, hair and nail samples, and old letters, and he would kneel in front of it every night begging her to be his. It was the only explanation for his behavior.