The good people at MTV have just released their ever controversial “Hottest MCs in the Game” list for this year, and it contains a grave injustice to Kanye West. Not only is he not #1, he must suffer the terrible injustice of being #7, which means there are six whole MCs in the world who are hotter than he!

Naturally, Kanye did not just chalk this up to constructive criticism or the concept of clickbait, but the fact that MTV employs philistines who cannot handle his next level sartorial decisions, or the fact that he is in a relationship. As he said to Hot 97’s DJ Enuff:

What happens with these type of judges and people who are viewers, when you come in, I had the pink polo and the backpack, then I’m checking all the boxes for that Tribe Called Quest-era and J Dilla and all that, so they champion it. They don’t like Givenchy-Kanye. They don’t like Kanye in a kilt. They don’t like Kanye in a relationship.

So you think this is what puts you at number seven as opposed to number five, four, three, two, one?
Yeah, I don’t think it’s them going really bar-for-bar. I said, “lucky I ain’t have Jay drop him from the team!” Ain’t no bar in the entire past 12 months that’s hotter than that bar!

(Sometimes, when I am feeling down on myself, I wish for one hundredth of one percent of the all consuming hubris that infects Kanye West’s every waking thought.)

Of course, Yeezy can’t really get mad at the woman carrying his child for bringing down his MC ranking, so he has chosen to get inordinately mad at that kilt, attempting to scrub all memory of it from the internet. Isn’t this a tad unfair? What did that kilt ever do to him except arrive all new and shiny in a Givenchy box and provide him with a “really modern silhouette”?

I think it’s time for Kanye West to stop misdirecting all his Kim-related anger at this innocent fashion object, which is itself anger that would better be directed at his own inability to impress MTV with diss tracks about Kris Humphries. And in case you hadn’t noticed, I am starting to feel rather defensive of the kilt in this scenario. How does the saying go? The inanimate enemy of the person who annoys me, and whose girlfriend annoys me even more, is my friend.