i-stand-with-trans-women

Alright, hi guys. I know, I don’t want to get serious on this blog, but I kinda feel like I have to for today. And I just want to say I know things are looking super bad right now, honestly, I’ve been feeling anxiety for everyone over there for the entire day!

But I just want to remind you that this isn’t the end. You’ll all get through this, you might think that there’s no point but please don’t give up! Don’t stop fighting!

But also please remember to take care of yourselves and take care of each other.

I know it’s easy for me to say this as someone who’s not from America, but I just want you all to know that I’m here rooting for you and I hope that my words and work would provide some form of comfort.

When i say that we have evolved beyond the understanding of cis people, this is what I mean. To a cis person, being transgender is a fad. It’s some hot new thing that people are just doing now because it’s trendy and cool. They feel bombarded with stories about transgender people and so they view every trans person who transitions as opportunistic and disingenuous.

In reality, as trans people we understand that being transgender often means giving up absolutely everything. It often means doing something strange for a little bit of change because you are denied employment even at places like McDonalds. It means having to distance yourself from your families and often friends because they cannot accept your happiness. For teenagers it often means being homeless and even for adults it means housing discrimination.

Caitlyn Jenner being an extremely privileged white republican trans woman, does not mean that she is not trans. The are a horde of Republican/Libertarian trans women who I cannot stand (all of whom are white) who I feel perpetuate misogyny and do so with pride. This doesn’t mean they aren’t trans and you, nor I can make that decision for them.

I am sick and tired of people acting like they care about Caitlyn or any trans person. You really don’t give a fuck about trans people if you don’t understand that how society treats Caitlyn has a negative impact on us. It will never TOUCH Caitlyn beyond her hurt feelings, but it WILL indeed hurt the trans women of color, like myself, who cannot afford to tone out the hatred with money and fame.

i swear. to the cis women who tell me that trans women should spend more time fighting men who are ‘the real problem’: you are just so condescending and ignorant. i am fighting them, you just don’t know about it because you don’t care. do you know what it looks like when i fight the men? its me calmly telling men not to talk over me. its me walking away from a man who is threatening to rape me without speeding up or slowing down because it feels safer if i don’t show weakness or react. its me sheltering my head from punches because some frat boy wants to beat up a faggot. its me crying when a man has groped me in public because he noticed i was trans. its me standing up for the women in my life. its me trying to find jobs and housing for lgbt youth.

it looks just like any woman fighting patriarchy. you’ve chosen not to see it because i’ve asked you to respect trans women.

…can we drop the narrative of privilege placed on trans women who date and/or sleep with men? It’s the story doctors and gate keepers wanna hear, sure, but so what? Out in the real world, from what I can tell, trans women who sleep with men, especially cis men, face a shit ton of violence and bigotry and isolation and stigma from all directions. When I see reports of violence against trans women, that violence sure does seem like it’s usually coming from a man they’re romantically/sexually involved with. Think on that a tick.

It’s not easy being a trans woman pretty much no matter how you slice it, but I see straight & bi trans women standing smack in the middle of the intersection of patriarchy, misogyny, transmisogyny, homophobia, heteronormativity, etc. etc. and I see some of the rest of us throwing shit at them for it and that sucks. Applying “straight privilege” to trans women simply because that’s how it works for cis people isn’t a good look, ya’ll. It’s not that simple.

Hating men does not = terf. Plenty of trans women (esp trans lesbians) hate men too. Sincerely, a man-hating lesbian married to a trans lesbian who hates men just as much as I do. You can fuck right off. Men are horrible and I will never like them.

You’re entitled to hate men. It’s your right to hate whomever you please and I’ll never try to stop you. But I won’t stand for anyone perpetrating the myth that misandry is a part of feminism or lesbianism.

As a feminist, I stand for the men toxic masculinity harms every bit as much as I stand for my fellow women: gay men, bi men, ace men, trans men, nonbinary/nonconforming men, male rape/sexual assault victims, etc., etc.

Those men can always turn to me for support and solidarity, and if you don’t feel the same way, I don’t consider you to be a true feminist, and I 100% consider you to be a terf.