Kanye Badly Yearns for a Wordless Future, for Obvious Reasons

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What do we talk about when we talk about the gospel of Kanye West? If it were up to him, absolutely nothing, because there’d be no words left with which to attempt to communicate our many opinions. In a typically meandering new interview with Surface, Kanye has envisioned a wordless future where no one man could have all that power to trash-talk Beyoncé and Jay Z from atop a floating stage — not without some translating, anyway. “I don’t think people are going to talk in the future. They’re going to communicate through eye contact, body language, emojis, signs. Imagine that. If everyone was forced to learn sign language,” he explains. “It’s funny because I’ve made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say … Thank God for emojis. So often one emoji goes a long way and lets me get on with my whole day.” The eggplant emoji, we can only assume.

Kanye goes on to say that getting him to put his thoughts into sensible prose is a crapshoot because he has the emotional and social IQ of a genius like Ray Babbitt: “Maybe this will be an eloquent interview. It’s a 50/50 chance every time I open my mouth … Regardless, whether you understand this or that, you know it’s Rain Man sitting here. You just fucking know it’s Rain Man. No matter what Rain Man’s doing, you know, if you take him to that fucking table, he’s going to pick the right cards.”

As for the current backlash against his latest controversial comments, Kanye’s long prepared for the vitriol. Speaking on the criticism of his Yeezy season four fashion show, he likens himself to constantly getting the LeBron treatment. “The fact that they can outright LeBron James went to the Heat–level burn my jersey after all I’d contributed to art, fashion, and culture just in 2016 alone …” he says. Which is also to say, yep, he definitely knew you’d turn on him.