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We all know about the Terrible Twos but Roni and Sagee Bar-Meshi found themselves in a unique bind when their two-and-a-half year-old Peleg began throwing temper tantrums crying uncontrollably because he didn’t get his way and screaming at the top of his lungs at 2 AM, waking the neighbors.

Someone called the cops.

Three times over several weeks.

Police officers who came to investigate said that they were required to respond to any call of suspected child neglect or parental abuse. In desperation, the parents posted a hand-written note on the front door explaining to Israel’s Finest that ‘yes, the cops had come to the right address’ about ‘cries in the night’ but their kid was in his Terrible Twos; they would be glad to make the law officers a cup of coffee while the midnight visitors ascertained they weren’t torturing their son.

The pair told the papers they find it hard to believe the caller was someone in their building. “We have good relations with all the neighbors and everyone loves Peled,” said Roni, but aware of her son’s extraordinary lung power, she added that “maybe the complainer is someone in another building on the block.” (Yediot)

BAD TIMING ALL AROUND…

An early-rising bank robber should have known better… He should have called it a day and beat a hasty retreat after holding up a branch of the Postal Bank* and only bagging 2,000 NIS (less than $500).

Since it was only 9 AM, there was still very little in the till, but greed got the better of him. He stopped in his tracks to make up the difference…by snatching a wad of bills out of the hands of a customer in line for a teller who was busy counting her money.

With nothing to lose, the tellers may have remained unmoved and mum, but the customer hit the ceiling and took off after the bank robber – yelling at the top of her lungs. Some young men outside the post office tackled the assailant before he could make a clean getaway. (Yediot)

* The Israel Postal Service also runs a unique no-service-charge deposit/withdrawal bank that issues no checks and allows no overdrafts.

YOU SHOULD LIVE SO LONG…

Fifty-seven year-old midwife Etti Afrias says that after a thousand deliveries she stopped counting. She certainly doesn’t remember every baby she delivered in a long career but she surely won’t forget Shani Shalom from Beit Shemesh who showed up at Hadassah’s maternity ward on Mount Scopus in the throes of labor.

While most women would ask to see a doctor, Shalom asked anxiously - “Is Afrias still working here???”

Twenty-two years ago the veteran midwife had assisted the now expectant mother come into the world, and now Shani wanted the same midwife to deliver her baby. Timing was perfect* for Etti, Shani and grandmother-to-be Dalia Hakkaiyan – a Jerusalem native who arrived at the hospital with Shani waving a vintage photo of her daughter as a newborn, with Etti Afrias at the bedside. (Yediot)

* The ‘reunion’ culminated in the birth of a bouncing baby boy.

GREEN LIGHT FOR RED POLISH

It’s now official. Women career personnel may now wear red nail polish…but only in a shade that matches the cherry red tone that adorns military gear such as unit tags and campaign ribbons. (Israel HaYom)

FAIR AND SQUARE

Settling a brewing food fight in the chickpea domain, the Israel Patents Office ruled that the commercial trademark “Felafel b’Ribua” - which can be read ‘felafel squared’ in the mathematical sense or understood as ‘extra super-duper falafel’ in colloquial Hebrew – a firm which serves square falafel balls (but has humous, sabich and shakshuka on the menu) should be a protected concept.

The Patent Office accepted the Felafel b’Ribua’s chain’s objections to granting a commercial trademark to a new initiative - a chain calling itself Humous b’Ribua which sports humous served on square plates.

Yaara Shoshana Caspi who handed down the decision said the public might erroneously link the two chains. (Yediot)

FIT TO BE TIED

Ben Moshe-Hai (16) is a madrich (scout leader) in the Tzofim (Israeli scouts) in Afula, responsible for a group of 4th graders. This would be a non-story if Moshe-Hai wasn’t on the autism scale. Or if the kids in his group were among some 2,000 Tzofim scouts with special needs.

The newly-minted madrich, who has been the Tzofim since he was in 4th grade, says he explained his difficulty in interpreting social situations to his chanichim (protégés) after they got to know him a bit; the kids were far more impressed with Moshe-Hai’s skill tying knots. “I learned he has autism only because he told us, revealed 9 year-old Adar Eliyahu. “He’s the best madrich I ever met.” (Yediot)

* Not the least of Israel’s inclusive milieu are ‘special task forces’ in the IDF that allows autistic youth and even youth with Down’s Syndrome to participate in national service, in uniform like regular draftees.

WHAT ON Google EARTH?!

Does Israel have the right to exist?

Not according to Google…

The President of the State of Israel Reuven Rivlin was astounded to discover that his Google bio brief – the kind that pops up to the right every time a surfer keys in “Reuven Rivlin” – put his place of birth as “Jerusalem, State of Palestine”… The President lodged a complaint…so Google changed the notation for Rivlin to…‘Jerusalem’. Just plain Jerusalem.

Was Google signalling Jerusalem had some special ‘exterritorial’ status?* Apparently not.

All other Israeli luminaries remain in limbo, too – not just Jerusalemites. Every city and town in Israel is listed in the Google bio-briefs as if they were city-states like the Vatican! For example, David Ben-Gurion – founder of the State of Israel remains a ‘man without a country’ in Google's eyes, listed as born in Płońsk, Poland, but purported by Google to have died in a place labelled “Tel Hashomer, Ramat Gan.”** (Yediot)

* As in the case brought before the American Supreme Court concerning the State Department’s refusal to register kids with duel American-Israeli citizenship and born in Jerusalem, as having been born in Israel. The court ruled the President was within his powers in adopting such a policy.

** By contrast,Giuseppe Garibaldi – father of the Italian state – is listed as having died in Caprera, Italy. Even Queen Lili’uokalan - the last ruling monarch of the Hawaiian Kingdom, unlawfully overthrown by the United States – is listed as having died in “Honolulu, Hawaii, United States”…in 1917 when Hawaii wasn’t even part of the United States…

A POUND OF PREVENTION

The Rishon le Zion dog pound has established a unique feature for high-strung dog owners whose imported or ‘immigrant’ pets have been temporarily placed in quarantine after arriving in Israel: A smartphone application dubbed Big Brother allows owners to view their pets 24/7 and assure owners that the detainees are happy and well cared for, just like more and more equally strung-out parents in Israel who can now watch their kids like a hawk in their nursery school or kindergarten via cellphone while at work…an arrangement designed primarily to keep an eye on staff to make sure they are doing their job.