It’s a couple of weeks into January – the biggest month for setting resolutions, and for many people, failing miserably at them.

I’m not a big fan of resolutions; however, I am a big fan of setting goals, exploring what I need to do to reach those goals, what is working, what isn’t, and tweaking my process along the way.

One of the biggest reasons why people fall of the wagon around this time is that they didn’t uncover their why. Why do you want to do whatever it is that you are doing?

Why do you want to:

Lose weight

Decrease stress

Experience happiness

Start or end a relationship

Move beyond managing anxiety…

What is your why? Without the why, there often isn’t an emotional drive to reach our goals. There’s no reward that lights up our brain and sends a rush of feel-good hormones into our bodies. In order to reach a goal, and develop the stick-with-it-ness that’s often required to “get there,” emotional drive is a necessity.

Maybe your why is that you are experiencing tremendous stress. Your health is in the shitter. Your doctor has told you that you need to do something about this…NOW…your stress is impacting your relationship, your ability to perform on the job AND…

…you don’t want to drop dead at that pick up basketball game you play once a month with your friends.

…you want to be able to play with your kids.

…you love your spouse/partner and want to see the relationship work.

Let’s not stop there though. One of my favorite questions to ask clients is “what else?“. Or, “tell me more about that.” Dig deeper.

What else about not wanting to experience a heart attack while playing basketball? What else? What else?

What else about wanting to play with your kids? Tell me more about that.

What else? Tell me more. Once we get to the why behind the why, we create space not just for motivation for when times get challenging (and they will), but also for a mindset shift to remove the blocks that hold us back from reaching our goals in the first place.

What resolution have you set for 2018?

What steps can you take today to shift the resolution into a goal?

What’s your why? What’s your why behind the why? Tell me so that I can support you in reaching your short and long-term goals.

We often see people’s successes celebrated and shouted from the rooftops. However, it’s not often that we see the silent side of success.

What is the silent side of success?

In my opinion, the silent side of success is the celebration of our “failures,” the learning opportunities that we experience along the way and the times that we trip over our own two feet and land, face first, in a fantastic display of a nose dive, right into a pile of steaming, stinking mud.

It’s also the choice and ability to rise, brush ourselves off, and move on. Hopefully having learned from the experience.

The Silent Side of Success – AKA my “failures”

In 2017,

I failed at 10xing my income. I’m interested in exponential growth, as a person, as a high performer, as a single parent, and a socialpreneur.

I failed to take the exponential action required to 10x my growth. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve taken plenty of action this year, stepped out of my comfort zone, grown in ways I couldn’t possibly imagine. However, I failed to take the degree of exponential action I needed to in order to massively grow.

I failed to launch an online program.

I failed to donate as much as I intended to this year.

I failed to lose 20 pounds. Yes, I said it. Lose 20 pounds. Turns out my body needs more intense training than what I had been doing, which has been highly restorative and great for my nervous system, but not so good in the “keep the weight off” department.

I failed to train every day.

I failed to reach a level of climbing high enough to become lead belay certified and climb on the roof at Boston Rock Gym.

I failed to write and finish a book.

I failed at checking email and social media only 2x/day.

I failed at keeping the “four white devils” out of my diet, especially gluten.

Rather than see failures as opportunities to shame and hate on ourselves, we have the opportunity to view failures as opportunities to celebrate that we chose to set a high bar for ourselves, that we chose to take a risk, leap, and try something new and/or challenging.

What have you failed at this year? Share in the comment section below! I will celebrate your failures with you.

When we settle for anything in life, we send out a message to the Universe that we’re willing to accept less than what truly lights us up, fulfills us, and has us saying one heck of a juicy “heck yes!” to life.

This is a bit like walking throughout life wearing a chastity belt of your own making. Hello!

If you want to open the doors to receive, to really receive, stop saying “heck yes” to the “meh’s” in your life and save those turned on, lit up, “fuck yeses!” to what aligns with what you really want and with what truly fulfills and inspires you. When you begin to say “hell no” to the “meh’s” and wait for the “oh heck yes,” to come along, you open yourself to really receive.

Do you want to develop more intimate relationships? Do you want to become a better coach? A more present partner? A better lover? An amazing parent?

Show up.

Show up fully. Authentically. Vulnerably. Be fully present in who you are and what you can give, from your heart, with no expectations, to this world.

Show up. Fiercely. As only you can.

Start by learning how to show up for yourself. How to love yourself. How to be courageously bold and authentic with yourself. How to allow yourself to soften and move into your vulnerable heart. How to love though your passion and purpose.