Understanding Male Homosexual Problems

An Introduction for Latter-day Saints

by Jason Park

This booklet presents an understanding of male homosexuality in the context
of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It dispels the myth that homosexuality is inborn
and unchangeable. The author knows this first-hand because he has experienced
such changes in his own life.

The solution to homosexual attractions is not to simply suppress the
feelings and control the behavior through willpower. The goal is to resolve
the inner conflicts that created the homosexual attractions. Although
homosexual behavior can be stopped in the short term by exercising willpower,
the unmet emotional and social needs won’t go away until they are fulfilled in
nonsexual ways. As men resolve the underlying causes, the unwanted impulses will
diminish or disappear.

Introduction

This booklet provides a brief introduction to the subject of
homosexuality in the context of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It may be helpful to
men who want to follow Christ and resolve their homosexual feelings, and also to
wives, parents, siblings, friends, and Church leaders who want to help.
Homosexual problems are difficult to overcome and those who are the most
successful are those who clearly understand the task ahead of them and receive
support from their family and friends.

Individuals can resolve their homosexual problems and live in
harmony with the gospel. The author knows this first-hand because he has
experienced such changes in his own life. The solution to homosexual attractions
is not to simply suppress the feelings and control the behavior through
willpower. The goal is to resolve the inner conflicts that created the
homosexual attractions. Although homosexual behavior can be stopped in the short
term by exercising willpower, the unmet emotional and social needs won’t go
away until they are fulfilled in nonsexual ways. As men resolve the underlying
causes, the unwanted impulses will diminish or disappear.

This booklet is written about male homosexual issues. Some of
the information may also be helpful to women who struggle with lesbian issues
and some may not. More research needs to be done on women’s issues to better
determine causes and solutions.

This booklet is only an introduction. It briefly addresses
the following questions:

What is homosexuality?

Why are men attracted to other men?

Can homosexual problems be resolved?

How can homosexual problems be resolved?

For further information, read the following books:

Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men by
Jason Park. Written to Latter-day Saint men who want to resolve their homosexual
feelings, this book provides practical solutions to resolve the personal
problems they face.

Helping LDS Men Resolve their Homosexual Problems: A Guide
for Family, Friends, and Church Leaders by Jason Park. Since a man’s
journey out of homosexuality will be easier if he has the support of others,
this book gives family, friends, and priesthood leaders ideas on supporting
someone they love.

What Is Homosexuality?

This chapter defines homosexuality, including attractions, identity, and
behavior. The chapter then presents Latter-day Saint doctrines concerning
homosexuality, including the distinction between homosexual thoughts and
behavior, and the importance of overcoming both. Finally, it offers correct
information about homosexual problems.

Description

Homosexual problems include erotic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed
toward the same gender. The psychological community uses the term homosexuality
to refer to the entire complex that includes attractions, feelings, desires,
sexual behavior, identity, and all its associated aspects, such as problems with
masculinity, self-perception, emotional dependencies, and relationship issues.

These problems should not be confused with a healthy emotional and social
interest in persons of the same gender. Homoemotional and homosocial interests
are healthy as long as they are not excessive and do not develop an erotic
dimension. When same-gender interests are eroticized, they become homosexual.

I use the term homosexual as an adjective to describe a person’s
feelings, thoughts, or behavior, but not as a noun to describe the person. The
terms gay (referring to men) and lesbian (referring to women)
include not only personal feelings and behaviors, but also describe a political,
cultural, and social identity.

Homosexuality may include sexual feelings or attractions without sexual
behavior or it may include complete emotional and sexual involvement. It cannot
be identified simply by the presence or absence of outward sexual behavior.

Attractions

Homosexual attractions develop over time and almost always without any
conscious choice. At some point in the man’s life, he realized he was sexually
attracted to other men. [As explained in the introduction, the focus of this
booklet is on male homosexual problems. Although much of this information can
also be helpful to women who have lesbian issues, don’t assume that all the
theories or strategies presented here will work for them.] These attractions can be a major source of
frustration, because in spite of his best efforts to get rid of them, he
continues to have compelling sexual thoughts toward other men. These inner
attractions may be intense and may consume a great deal of his thoughts and
energy. If the sexual attractions are not resolved, they can grow into
obsessions that interfere with his ability to function at work and at home, and
can be destructive spiritually. Homosexual attractions are usually more
compelling than attractions toward the opposite sex because they spring from
more than sexual desires—they are attempts to fill unmet emotional and social
needs.

Many men report they first noticed these attractions before puberty—before
they felt or understood sexual feelings. The feelings were not inherently
sexual, but at some point became eroticized. The needs involved are normal
social and emotional needs that everyone has, but have become confused and
sexualized toward the same gender. The attractions are actually attempts to meet
the emotional and identity needs that have not yet been met in his life. As a
child, some part of his normal developmental process was stopped and interfered
with his ability to develop a heterosexual orientation. Ironically, sexual
intimacy will not fill the needs. They should not be ignored (the conservative
mistake) nor eroticized (the liberal mistake), but should be filled through
legitimate, nonsexual means. Here, then, is the irony. Homosexuality itself has
little to do with sex; the needs are not homosexual, but homoemotional.

Identity

Many men with homosexual attractions report they felt "different"
as boys but didn’t know why. For such a boy, the pain of growing up with
homosexual attractions was not so much the pain of being attracted to boys, but
the feelings of being different. These feelings of being different may have
become a self-fulfilling prophecy as he separated himself from the very boys he
needed to bond with. He may have longed to feel he was on par with other boys,
but this longing only widened the gulf between him and the rest of the guys.
Feeling different may create a mindset that can have a tremendous impact on a
boy’s self-perception and development. When other children sense this
hesitancy, they often attack it, which only confirms to the boy that he is
different. Thus, he withdraws from other boys to defend himself from the pain.

He knew his attractions were not right because of the "fag" jokes
he heard, so he learned to keep the feelings to himself, creating further
problems of isolation and secrecy, which are powerful forces that keep
homosexual problems from being resolved. When the rest of the male world is
normally attracted to females, he may have wondered why he was abnormally
attracted to males. Knowing these attractions were in conflict with his
religious beliefs and society’s norms, he realized his innermost feelings were
wrong and since he didn’t choose to have these feelings, he may have wondered
if there was something inherently wrong with him. This likely created an
internal struggle as he desperately tried to understand the unnatural feelings
and make sense of them in terms of his own internal values and religious
beliefs.

A person’s identity is an accumulation of self-perceptions. He may come to
believe he was born with homosexual feelings which are part of his core
identity. He may become convinced that if he is ever to be at peace with
himself, he must submit to his desires, even if it means rejecting (or at least
ignoring) his religious beliefs and personal values. When a person "comes
out of the closet" and identifies himself as homosexual, he often feels
relief for two reasons. First, after suffering so much frustration and pain, he
is relieved to have finally made a difficult decision and he may interpret this
temporary relief as confirmation that he has made the right choice. Secondly, he
may find the acceptance and emotional closeness with other homosexual men that
he had not been able to find previously. If he accepts a homosexual identity, it
will have far-reaching implications and profoundly influence how he thinks and
acts. In addition to resolving the homosexual issues, he will have the
additional challenge of correcting misperceptions about himself.

Behavior

Homosexual attractions can be strong if he entertains sexual fantasies.
Because of the intensity of these sexual desires, he may have participated in
sexual activities to fill the void he feels. However, this causes further
confusion, leading him to believe that the needs are sexual rather than
emotional. In a desperate attempt to satisfy these building tensions, he may
have become involved in sexual activities that provide a temporary gratification
of the sex drive, but leave him with deeper feelings of emptiness, loneliness
and frustration. Rather than satisfying his real needs for acceptance and
companionship, the sexual behavior only intensifies the needs. One of the
greatest tragedies of homosexuality is the unawareness in most men that their
needs are emotional. All they know is that they are sexually attracted to other
men and they seek sexual contacts, which ironically do not fill their need for
love from a friend.

Not all men find themselves involved in sexual behavior. Some have
participated in only limited behavior and others have remained chaste in spite
of their intense attractions. Those who have not acted on their desires will
have a much easier journey out of homosexuality because of it.

Homosexuality is symptomatic of other problems

One of the reasons homosexual problems are difficult to address is that they
are not the real problem. Focusing too much on homosexual problems can actually
be misleading, since they are symptoms of deeper struggles, such as rejection,
envy, abuse, self-perception, gender identity, distrust, or fear. However, men
who have homosexual problems seldom recognize this because they are masters at
hiding the real issues in their lives. They hide them from others and even from
themselves. Many of these issues are common and others vary from person to
person. Once a man identifies the causes of his painful hunger he can learn ways
to feed the hunger in appropriate, nonsexual ways. Once he resolves the
underlying problems, he will find that the homosexual problems resolve
themselves.

Why is homosexuality a problem?

A sexual attraction toward other men distorts healthy, loving
relationships and steers men away from the blessings that can be found in
marriage and family relationships. It diverts capable priesthood holders from
the roles of husband and father. Homosexual behavior is of particular
concern because it violates God’s commandments and blocks their eternal
progress.

Gospel teachings regarding homosexuality

God created us as male or female (see Genesis 1:27). He wants men and women
to join with each other under the covenant of marriage to procreate and fulfill
their eternal destiny. In His eternal plan, there are no classifications of homosexuals,
bisexuals, or heterosexuals. We are all on this earth having a
human experience with various challenges to overcome so we can become the true
men, women, priesthood holders, wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers that God
wishes us to be.

Homosexual feelings

A 1991 letter issued by the First Presidency to all members of the Church
states, "there is a distinction between [1] immoral thoughts and feelings
and [2] participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual
behavior."1 An individual usually has no fault in the emergence
of the feelings that trigger the homosexual attractions. Since he made no
conscious choice for them, he should not feel guilty for having them. However,
he can choose how he responds to the attractions and should not deliberately
feed the feelings by fantasizing and turning them into lustful thoughts. The
First Presidency letter continued, "However, such thoughts and feelings,
regardless of their causes, can and should be overcome. . . ."2
The individual is responsible for his agency in the thoughts he entertains. In
an article in the Ensign magazine about same-gender attraction, Elder
Dallin H. Oaks clarified that "although immoral thoughts are less serious
than immoral behavior, such thoughts also need to be resisted and repented of
because we know that ‘our thoughts will also condemn us’ (Alma 12:14).
Immoral thoughts (and the less serious feelings that lead to them) can bring
about behavior that is sinful."3

Sexual behavior

The scriptures are clear in condemning homosexual practices. We read in
Romans, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for
even their women did change the natural use into that which is against
nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the
woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working
that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of
their error which was meet" (Romans 1:26– 27; emphasis added).

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "Prophets of God have repeatedly
taught through the ages that practices of homosexual relations, fornication, and
adultery are grievous sins. Sexual relations outside the bonds of marriage are
forbidden by the Lord."4 The First Presidency declared,
"The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage
and fidelity within marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between husband
and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual
contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior,
is sinful."5

Overcome thoughts and behavior

The letter from the First Presidency further stated, "We commend and
encourage those who are overcoming inappropriate thoughts and feelings. We plead
with those involved in such behavior to forsake it. We love them and pray for
them. We are confident that through repentance and obtaining needed help, they
can experience the peace that comes from conforming their lives to God’s
teachings."6 President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Our hearts
reach out to those who struggle with feelings of affinity for the same gender.
We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our
brothers and our sisters. However, we cannot condone immoral practices on your
part any more than we can condone immoral practices on the part of others."7

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "The struggles of those who are troubled by
same-sex attraction are not unique. There are many kinds of temptations, sexual
and otherwise. The duty to resist sin applies to all of them."8

Help those who are trying to overcome

After speaking in a general conference on the subject of same-gender
attraction, President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Having said this, I desire
now to say with emphasis that our concern for the bitter fruit of sin is coupled
with Christlike sympathy for its victims, innocent or culpable. We advocate the
example of the Lord, who condemned the sin, yet loved the sinner. We should
reach out with kindness and comfort to the afflicted, ministering to their needs
and assisting them with their problems."9

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that "each member of Christ’s church has a
clear-cut doctrinal responsibility to show forth love and to extend help and
understanding. Sinners, as well as those who are struggling to resist
inappropriate feelings, are not people to be cast out but people to be loved and
helped (see 3 Ne. 18:22–23, 30, 32)."10 Elder Oaks continued,
"Church leaders are sometimes asked whether there is any place in The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for persons with homosexual or
lesbian susceptibilities or feelings. Of course there is. The degree of
difficulty and the pattern necessary to forgo behavior and to control thoughts
will be different with different individuals, but the message of hope and the
hand of fellowship offered by the Church is the same for all who strive."11
Elder Oaks further explained that "all should understand that persons (and
their family members) struggling with the burden of same-sex attraction are in
special need of the love and encouragement that is a clear responsibility of
Church members, who have signified by covenant their willingness ‘to bear one
another’s burdens’ (Mosiah 18:8) ‘and so fulfill the law of Christ’ (Gal.
6:2)."12

How many people have homosexual problems?

Pro-gay advocates claim that 10% of the population has a homosexual
orientation. More conservative estimates place the figure at 1–3%. However, if
you include everyone who has had a homosexual experience since puberty, the
numbers are more in the neighborhood of 5–10%.13

Whatever the numbers, homosexual problems are significant and touch the lives
of many people. If we use the conservative figure of 5%, of the ten million
members of the Church there are 500,000 who have some degree of homosexual
problems. And if you count their parents, spouses, brothers and sisters, it
could add up to nearly three million members of the Church
directly affected.14 Add to that grandparents, uncles, aunts, and
concerned Church leaders, and you can see that many more people are affected.

The truth about men who have homosexual feelings

Men do not choose to have homosexual feelings. These attractions
usually develop because social and emotional needs were not met in the
developmental years. It is not a matter of choice, except for a few people who
just enjoy being different, which we find in any behavioral group.

Men do not develop homosexual problems because they are afraid of women.
In reality, relationships with women generally have little to do with homosexual
problems; instead, they have to do with relationships with men.

They are not effeminate men with limp wrists who speak with a lisp.
Contrary to popular belief, only a small minority of men with homosexual
problems displays effeminate mannerisms. Likewise, many men who have effeminate
characteristics have no homosexual problems. It is misleading to assume that
effeminate traits indicate homosexual problems.

They do not dress in women’s clothing. Cross-dressing (transvestism)
is not typical of those who have homosexual problems. About 80% of
cross-dressers are heterosexual.15

They do not feel they are women trapped in men’s bodies. Very few
men with homosexual tendencies feel this way. Men who want hormone treatment or
surgery to become women are referred to as transsexuals.

Why Are Men Attracted to Other Men?

Many factors contribute to the development of homosexual attractions. Dr.
Elizabeth Moberly, author of Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic,
explained, "[M]any things are capable of causing the disruption in
attachment that underlies the homosexual condition. It is not a question of one
particular cause leading of necessity to one particular effect."16
It is difficult to develop theories about the origins of homosexual attractions
because no single theory fits every situation. Although there are some
commonalities among people, there are no constants. Factors are different from
person to person, or at least individual reactions to the same factors vary.
Humans are complex beings and our behaviors are the result of many complex
interactions.17 This chapter discusses how personality, biological
inheritance, and developmental experiences influence the development of
homosexual problems.

Personality

Before we were born, we existed as spirits, and before that as unique
intelligences (see Abraham 3:21–23). Our personalities were not created at
physical birth, but have been developing long before that. It is no wonder that
every person has different likes, desires, dreams, and moods. We see ourselves
and the world in different ways and each of us hopes for something a little
different from life. One child may be content with the affection he receives
from his parents, while his sibling who receives the same attention feels a
deficit and requires more. Some children seem content to play by themselves,
while others who have many friends seem to need even more.

Many men with homosexual attractions have a heightened sense of emotional
sensitivity which can make them vulnerable to emotional hurt when their high
expectations are not met. Since we all have different needs and perspectives on
life, it is easy to see why two people in the same situation will react
differently. For one person, a negative situation may be manageable, while for
another it is a devastating crisis.

Biology

Science has not shown that homosexuality is an inborn or
biologically-determined characteristic. Biology may play some small role in
influencing behavior or feelings. Some people seem susceptible to particular
actions and may be drawn toward them or become addicted to them more easily than
other people.18 One person may be able to dabble with gambling, while
another becomes a compulsive gambler. Some may drink only socially, while others
have an unusual attraction to alcohol. Studies indicate that genetics may be a
factor in susceptibilities to some behavior-related disorders, such as
aggression, obesity, or alcoholism. Likewise, there are theories that claim
biological predispositions influence the development of homosexual attractions
when other life experiences are also present.19

Beyond such predispositions, some scientists search for more direct genetic
causes—a gene or chromosome that actually determines sexual orientation. News
reports on these studies have misrepresented the facts. If you read the reports
published by the researchers, you find that they admit their findings are not
conclusive. Most scientists today give genetic theories little credibility.20

Regardless of the role that genetics play in the development of sexual
attractions, such attractions are changeable and treatable. Each individual has
control over his destiny. Each child of God has moral agency and can determine
the course of his life. Regardless of any biological thread, thousands of men
who struggle with homosexual attractions have made changes in their lives for
the better.

Developmental experiences

Professionals agree that environment influences a child in significant ways.
His family, friends, society, and his experiences influence how he feels, how he
views life, and how he acts. Dr. William Consiglio refers to this myriad of
social and psychological factors as a "conspiracy of factors," meaning
that many factors "conspired" or came together in the right amounts at
the right time to divert sexual desires in a developing boy toward other boys.21
Some of these factors include the boy’s relationship with his family and
peers, his ability to identify with masculinity, the degree to which his
emotional needs are fulfilled, his feelings of self-worth, and early sexual
experiences.

Relationship with father

When I first tried to understand how my homosexual attractions had developed,
I didn’t think my family was dysfunctional. We loved each other and my father
didn’t beat us. We lived in peace and love and were active in the Church.
However, I later came to realize that these good things did not guarantee that
all my emotional needs would be met.

It is important that a boy have a healthy emotional relationship with his
father or with another significant male. (This is much more than Sigmund Freud’s
theory that a homosexual male child is the product of a strong mother and a
passive, indifferent, or hostile father.) The boy needs to feel love from his
father and needs to identify with him. It is through this male bonding that a
child develops a sense of himself as an individual and as a male. If this
relationship is not functional, the needs that would normally be met through it
remain unmet.

This bonding may not occur if the father is physically or emotionally
uninvolved in his child’s life or the bond may be broken if he is punishing or
authoritarian. Since this can be very painful, the child may not want to
reestablish the connection. Even if the father tries to build a good
relationship, the child may prevent it out of fear of further hurt. Dr.
Elizabeth Moberly of Cambridge University refers to this as defensive
detachment.22 The child defends against further trauma by
blocking himself from relating normally with his father, and in so doing,
unknowingly insures that his needs for attachment will not be met. It becomes an
approach-avoidance conflict. The drive for a renewed attachment shows his need
for love from his father, but the defensive detachment prevents the attachment
and so the needs continue unmet.

The child’s interpretation of this relationship is critical. Even if the
father is available and loves the child, if the child does not perceive that
love or cannot connect with the father, there will be a deficit. There is a
difference between being loved and feeling loved. The more
sensitive the child and the more unable to relate to his father, the greater the
chance of a relationship problem. To a child, the parent is his source of being,
and if the attachment to the parent is disrupted, his very being feels
endangered. The hurt child may become unwilling to trust and may learn to
repress his need for attachment. He may then distance himself from his father
and later carry it over to men in general by avoiding closeness with his male
peers. Thus he becomes emotionally needful as a result of not having the
supportive, affectionate relationships he requires to develop a good sense of
identity. When these psychological needs remain unfulfilled, although the boy
grows to be a man, he is still essentially a child trying to fill basic
emotional needs. In many respects, he may still be a dependent child who needs
to be loved by his father and not yet an adult with adult needs.

To learn more about the father-son relationship and defensive detachment,
read Elizabeth Moberly’s book Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic.

It should be emphasized that the deficit existed because the child could not
connect with his father or didn’t perceive that the relationship was what he
desired. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the father was detached or unloving—the
father may have done everything in his power to develop a healthy, nurturing
relationship.

Relationship with mother

The boy’s relationship with his mother is also important. A mother can
either reinforce and strengthen the boy’s relationship with his father, or she
can dominate and minimize the father’s role. A strong relationship with the
mother is not a problem unless it gets in the way of a strong relationship with
the father. In the triangle of relationships between the boy, mother, and
father, the three sometimes become imbalanced. If the father-mother relationship
is not healthy, the son misses out on learning what a husband-wife relationship
should be. Further, the son may try to take care of the emotional needs of the
mother and thus becomes a surrogate male companion to her. When this disordered
mother-son relationship occurs, the boy does not develop a normal male image as
a boy, nor are his emotional needs met as a son from his mother. Needless to
say, he also does not get his emotional needs met from the father-son
relationship. The boy becomes enmeshed with mom, in part to compensate for the
fact that he does not have the emotional support from his father.23

Gender identity

As children develop, it is important to gain a healthy sense of who they are
as a man or woman. In normal development, the concept of masculinity (what it
means to be a man) is internalized before puberty by interaction with, and
validation from, other boys and men. If a boy is confused about what it means to
be a man or does not feel affirmed in his masculinity, he may internalize the
concept of masculinity in unhealthy ways with frustrating results. When this
happens, he typically will not realize that anything abnormal is happening. As
he enters puberty and sexual feelings emerge, they may become confused with his
masculine longings.

Having diminished feelings of masculinity does not mean he sees himself as
feminine—that is the case for only a small percentage of men. There is a
considerable difference between feeling inadequate as a male and feeling
feminine. Many men who have homosexual feelings are masculine in appearance and
action. They simply have not affirmed within themselves their validity as a man.

It is important to respect the divinely appointed roles that are uniquely
male or female. But beyond that, there is great room to provide opportunities
for children to develop talents in various directions unhindered by improper
stereotypes.

Defensive detachment may also express itself in the development of gender
identity. The effeminacy of some men with homosexual attractions and the
quasi-masculinity of some women with homosexual attractions are examples of
defensive detachments from the person’s gender. They feel the need to identify
with their own gender, but they reject it because they perceive it to be harsh
or hurtful, and they prevent its normal development in a defensive way. In these
cases, the development of their identity as male and female was likely stopped
at an early stage of development.

Male emotional needs

A boy’s need for the love and identification with other males is a normal,
legitimate requirement every boy has. These needs are usually met by his father
or another significant male during early childhood and later reinforced by
peers, teachers, and society as a whole. For many men with homosexual
attractions, their perfectly natural needs for love, acceptance, and
identification with other males were not fulfilled, and now because of their
insecurities they do not venture out to legitimately fulfill them. They long for
the companionship, love, and acceptance of their male peers, but when it is
offered they resist because of fear of hurt or rejection. They may then feel
hurt that the opportunity for companionship and attention has passed them by.
They may secretly fear they are not worthy of companionship or attention and
therefore stay where it is safe but lonely rather than venture out to interact
with other men.

Many report that during childhood they felt different from their peers—loners
who did not play the rough games that boys commonly play. Others had some
friends, but wished for more and felt unable or unworthy of more substantial
relationships that were important to them. For these boys, their attraction to
other males is rooted in the need to identify with and be accepted by other
males and feel part of a group of buddies. At a time critical for making
friends, their life may have been disrupted by a medical problem or a move to a
new neighborhood, or overprotective parents may have interfered with peer
relationships. Since they had limited contact with other boys, they did not
identify with them in healthy ways, but anticipated rejection and expected they
would not fit in. They desperately want acceptance and comfort from these ideal
friends, but instead develop feelings of loneliness and longing.

Feeling alienated from the boys, they become attracted to them as an
opposite. Watching from the sidelines, they admire the boys and wish they could
be like them. Even as adults, they may be attracted to men who look or dress the
way they wish they did. A man who is young and carefree may envy a professional
who is responsible and mature. And the mature professional may wish he could be
young and carefree.

This longing for a friend can be intense and can easily turn to adoration and
idolization. As the boy enters puberty and sexual feelings emerge, this intense
envy can turn to sexual lust, and if he is not able to fill his need for love
and acceptance through brotherly relating, he may begin to seek it through
sexual relating. The homosexual behavior may be an attempt to complete the
person’s masculine identity as he tries to possess valued masculine attributes
through sexual intimacy with another male. It may be an effort to solve the
mystery of masculinity that arises from the perception of being unlike other
men. And it may also be a simple escape from his inadequacies and pain. In the
heat of passion, one can momentarily believe any fantasy—that he is beautiful,
masculine, loved, and accepted.

These underlying emotional needs are the same for all men, whether they have
homosexual problems or not. The homosexual drive is actually a drive to fulfill
the emotional need to relate to and be accepted by other men. "Love among
those of the same sex is right and good," explain Drs. Thomas and Ann Pritt.
"Only the sexualization of the attraction is inappropriate."24
This attraction to other men is a reparative drive and is actually an attempt to
resolve the problem, and not the problem itself. The core problem is not homosexual,
but homosocial. It is a continual attempt to remedy earlier deficits and
fulfill the social and emotional needs that still exist. The fulfillment of
these unmet needs for love and identification can only be solved through
nonsexual relationships with other men. The attractions will persist until he is
able to develop a healthy identity and relate appropriately with other men in a
nonsexual way.25 Until these relationship needs are fulfilled, he is
still essentially a child trying to fill basic emotional needs. He is still a
boy who needs to identify with other boys.

Self-Worth

Low feelings of self-worth and inferiority are common breeding grounds for
homosexual problems. Traumatic experiences in a child’s life can lead to
feelings of inferiority. Negative interactions with other boys can easily damage
a vulnerable self-image and increase a boy’s sense of being different from
other children. This sense of feeling different is always a feeling of
inferiority.

Many men who have homosexual attractions report feeling different and alone.
Being different creates a mindset that has a tremendous impact on a person’s
development and on the way he understands the world. These feelings may separate
him from his peers and he may feel that he lives his entire life from the
outside looking in. Knowing that his attractions are not normal, he keeps them
secret and this secret not only increases his sense of aloneness, but makes him
feel he is of less value than other boys. Unfortunately, the feelings of
isolation, inferiority, and fear of exposure are the very forces that keep the
underlying issues from being resolved. Other children may pick up on his sense
of inadequacy and attack it, causing him to withdraw further, defensively
detach, and develop a fantasy life.

Even more dreaded than the attractions is the terrifying realization that the
attractions are wrong—they are in conflict with his religious and moral
beliefs. This creates a sense of shame, which is another proof to him that he is
inferior in relation to other males. The feelings of being different, inferior,
and guilty often lead to self-belittling and self-degrading thoughts. He may
feel that he is inherently defective. The boy does not understand that his
attractions are a result of a deficit and not a defect.

When young people reach puberty and find they don’t have normal feelings
toward the opposite sex, they are devastated. They try to live righteous lives
and make the feelings go away, but the feelings don’t go away. They grow up
hating themselves and become convinced that others would also hate them if they
were to find out these inner feelings. They begin to question the worth of
living and thousands of young men commit suicide rather than be an awful, hated
person who is attracted to his own sex.

Early Sexual Experiences

Children who have unresolved needs for affection or who experience social or
emotional trauma can be particularly vulnerable to negative experiences. Early masturbation, exposure to pornography, or childhood sexual experimentation often
introduce sexual thoughts before young men are able to understand them, and they
can reinforce homosexual interests. Children who are victimized by sexual abuse
or youth who have early sexual contacts can become confused and develop a gender
misidentity and unusual sexual interests and values. Inappropriate sexual
activity blurs the distinction between intimacy and sex.

Developmental conclusions

Many boys become aware of their same-sex attractions at an early age
(sometimes before age five). The most important formative years for the
development of sexual feelings and attitudes are during late infancy and before
the onset of puberty, and not during puberty and adolescence. Dr. John Money
explained, "The hormones of puberty activate what has already formed and
is awaiting activation."26 A child’s development of
heterosexual interests proceeds instinctively unless emotional maturity is
obstructed by issues such as those just discussed. Dr. William Consiglio
describes homosexuality as a disorientation from the mainstream of
heterosexual development. "It is not something a person is born with;
rather, it is sexual disorientation when the God-designed stream of
heterosexuality is blocked. Homosexuality is not an alternative sexuality or
sexual orientation, but an emotional disorientation caused by arrested or
blocked emotional development in the stream of heterosexuality."27
But the good news is that the condition is correctable. When these blockages are
"successfully reduced, diminished, or removed, human sexuality can resume
its natural heterosexual flow toward its proper, God-designed outlet; i.e.,
wholesome, mature, sexual, and emotional expression in marriage with a person of
the opposite sex."28

The homosexual urge is not unrealistic or rebellious. It is not a fear of, or
a flight from, heterosexuality. It is actually an unconscious attempt to fill
normal emotional needs and when these needs begin to be filled, the person can
begin again progressing toward full heterosexual maturation.29

Summary

Personality, genetics, and developmental experiences all have a place in
influencing the development of homosexual attractions. Drs. Byne and Parsons at
Columbia University believe it is important to "appreciate the complexities
of sexual orientation and resist the urge to search for simplistic explanations,
either psychosocial or biologic."30 They emphasize that in
addition to the influences of genetics or the environment, the individual plays
an important role in determining his or her identity.

Dr. John Money stated, "Many wrongly assume that whatever is biological
cannot be changed, and whatever mental can be. Both propositions are in error.
Homosexuality is always biological and always mental, both together. It is
mental because it exists in the mind. It is biological because the mind exists
in the brain. The sexual brain through its extended nervous system communicates
back and forth with the sex organs."31

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that "some kinds of feelings seem to be
inborn. Others are traceable to mortal experiences. Still other feelings seem to
be acquired from a complex interaction of ‘nature and nurture.’ All of us
have some feelings we did not choose, but the gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us
that we still have the power to resist and reform our feelings (as needed) and
to assure that they do not lead us to entertain inappropriate thoughts or to
engage in sinful behavior."32

Can Homosexual Problems Be Resolved?

Many young men struggle to make sense of their homosexual attractions in
light of the gospel. They have a testimony of the gospel, but they also know
these feelings are very real and strong. They want to be righteous, but find
that their attempts to live the gospel don’t make the feelings go away. They
are caught between the gospel which is right and the attractions toward men that
are contrary to the gospel. Their response is to (1) try to suppress the
feelings and live the gospel or (2) decide that the gospel does not fit in their
life and pursue the attractions, thereby losing out on the blessings of the
gospel. Suppressing the feelings does not make them go away. Suppression means a
continual struggle where, at best, the person is celibate but miserable, and at
worst, leads a double life by pretending to be a good member of the Church but
secretly engaging in homosexual behavior. The only way to resolve the problem is
to identify the needs that cause the attractions and fill them in legitimate
ways.

This chapter addresses the reality of resolving homosexual problems. It gives
a definition of what it means to resolve these problems, statistics on the
numbers of people who have resolved them, and information about the time the
process takes. Finally, it discusses the ultimate goal of doing all this work.

Is it possible to resolve these problems?

The world has defined concepts such as homosexual and sexual
orientation and tells us that they are inborn and cannot be changed. Many
people have bought into this theory and believe that a homosexual orientation is
as genetic as race or left-handedness. They say that those who have changed are
simply engrossed in a fantasy and that some day they will come back to reality
and realize they are still homosexual.

Although these "pro-gay" arguments are complex and can appear
logical, they have little credibility when viewed in the broader perspective of
the eternal plan of salvation. To believe that God would give us problems that
we could not overcome is to deny the power of the atonement and the omnipotence
of God.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught, "After consideration of the evil
aspects, the ugliness and prevalence of the evil of homosexuality, the glorious
thing to remember is that it is curable and forgivable. The Lord has promised
that all sins can be forgiven except certain ones enumerated, and this evil was
not among those named. Thus it is forgivable if totally abandoned and if the
repentance is sincere and absolute. Certainly it can be overcome, for there are
numerous happy people who were once involved in its clutches and who have since
completely transformed their lives."33

I personally attest that it is possible to diminish homosexual attractions,
eliminate homosexual behavior, and lead a happy life in full alignment with the
gospel. I know this because I have done it. I used to be conflicted by my
feelings and tormented by my desires to act out. Now that I have resolved these
issues, I feel peace and comfort as a whole person. And mine is not the only
case. I personally know many other people and have read about hundreds more who
have resolved significant problems and are now much happier and at greater peace
with themselves and with God.

What does it mean to resolve these problems?

The process described in this booklet is not one of learning to
suppress the feelings and control the behavior through willpower. The goal is to
resolve the issues that created the homosexual attractions in the first
place and that now continue to sustain them. A transition out of homosexuality
might include the following:

reducing or eliminating homosexual desires.

eliminating homosexual behavior.

developing a secure sense of self and male identity.

Desires

As men begin to resolve their homosexual issues, they note that their sexual
attractions toward men significantly decrease. They may reach the point where
they are no longer sexually attracted to men at all. Others may continue to be
attracted to other men as strongly as before, but they can learn to cope with
the attractions without being overwhelmed by them.

Many men still experience some attractions from time to time, but they are
able to deal with them with a minimum of anxiety and they do not dominate their
lives or behavior. Over time, the feelings diminish both in number and intensity
until it becomes easy to dismiss these fleeting thoughts, much like they do any
other unwanted thought that enters their minds. Most find that heterosexual
feelings awaken or increase within them.

Behavior

With a greater understanding of their issues, men with homosexual struggles
recognize that they can choose to avoid sexual activity with other men and most
are able to control their actions. The comforting news is that as they resolve
deeper issues, they find that their compulsions to act out diminish and in many
cases disappear. As time passes, homosexual behavior becomes less and less
appealing, and in some cases, even repulsive.

Those who have been heavily involved in sexual behavior for a number of years
have a greater struggle overcoming habits and sexual addictions. But if they are
sincerely motivated and make a significant effort, they can overcome these
addictions.

Identity

Men are attracted to other men because of a distorted view of themselves and
others. If they have accepted a "gay" identity, they can change that
perception and accept themselves as sons of God with eternal potential. With
increased levels of self-acceptance, their feelings of self-worth and
masculinity will increase, they will begin to see their value in relation to
other men, and stop comparing themselves with other men. As they become more
pro-active rather than reactive, they will be able to develop increasingly
healthy relationships with men and sexual attractions decrease.

How many people change?

Since homosexuality is the outward manifestation of unresolved issues that
are central to the individual’s personality, deciding to work on these issues
involves reevaluating his core person and working to change it. This may be a
long and painful process, and not everyone who begins it sees it through.

A person’s success will vary because of several factors, chief among which
I believe is his level of commitment. There is hope for those who are committed
to the process and put forth a significant effort. Although it was the hardest
thing I have ever done, it was worth the effort. I no longer struggle with
homosexuality. It no longer controls my life or dominates my thoughts. For me to
get to that point, it required the following:

personal study, prayer, pondering, and journaling over a period of
four years.

building a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

reaching out and building important male relationships.

individual therapy for five months.

group therapy (two six-week groups).

support group meetings for three and a half years.

Of those who make this kind of commitment, most are able to resolve their
problems and make significant, long-lasting changes in their lives.

For more than seventeen years, Dr. William Consiglio has worked with men and
women who seek freedom from homosexuality. He finds that 40% of his clients find
personal resolution and enjoy a full heterosexual life, with many entering
marriage and parenthood. Another 40% achieve a functional resolution in that
they are able to control their homosexual thoughts, attractions, and behaviors,
and thus maintain consistent celibacy. The remaining 20% drop out of the process
and eventually return to active homosexuality.34 He reports that even
for those who do not make a complete heterosexual recovery there is great hope.
They can "achieve a significant degree of emotional healing, growth in
self-worth, and spiritual well being and are able to move on in life freed of
the homosexual obsession and preoccupation. It allows them to form rewarding and
fulfilling relationships and live more integrated and satisfying lives which are
compatible with their spiritual values and convictions. And that’s powerfully
good news in itself."35 Many other professionals report similar
success rates.36

People typically keep homosexual issues to themselves and when they resolve
their problems they move on quietly with their lives. Psychologist Gerard van
den Aardweg said that cases of people who resolve their homosexual problems
"are perhaps more numerous than we would presume, because many of them
prefer to stay anonymous and not be public examples of ‘the
converted-and-cured-homosexual.’"37

How long does it take?

The length of the transition varies depending on the severity of the
individual’s problems, his level of motivation and commitment, and many other
factors. Those who are able to define their problems and begin working on them
early, before compulsive behaviors turn into addictions and before attitudes
turn into identity, may be able to make the transition in a matter of months.
Those who begin the process later in life after years of sexual habits and
mental conditioning find it takes much work and substantially more time. Most
men I have spoken with report it takes somewhere from three to ten years.
However, don’t set time frames and expect that changes will happen within a
certain period of time. The problems didn’t develop overnight and they likely
won’t be resolved in a short time.

The ultimate goal

The ultimate goal of this transition process is to achieve the following:

a sense of belonging to the male gender.

a comfortableness with heterosexual men.

male relationships that are emotionally healthy.

the ability to relate to women emotionally, spiritually, and
physically.

the ability to function effectively as a husband and father.

the personal satisfaction of understanding, controlling, and
feeling good about oneself.

How Can Homosexual Problems Be Resolved?

Choices

A man who has homosexual problems still has his agency and
can make correct choices about his life. Although his freedom may be reduced
because of susceptibilities or situations beyond his control, he must accept
personal responsibility for his actions and the direction of his life. Satan
would have him believe he is not responsible for his agency because he was
"born this way" and has no control over his homosexual actions.
Although he did not choose to have homosexual attractions, he does choose
how to respond to them and his ability to resolve his homosexual problems will
be determined by the control he decides to take over his life.

Accountability

He should identify those to whom he will be accountable:

To himself, honestly admitting his problems
and weaknesses.

To God in daily prayer, confessing his
weaknesses and asking for His strength to make it through the day.

To his bishop or branch president for sins
that should be confessed.

To his therapist for how well he is
following through on the things he needs to do.

To a confidant. This may be someone who also
has a personal struggle with homosexuality or simply a close friend.

Plan of action

With the counsel of his bishop and therapist, he should
identify specific areas where work is needed to resolve problems. To repair and
mature emotionally, he may need to come to grips with past emotional trauma,
resolve current emotional conflicts, overcome emotional detachments and
dependencies, learn to love appropriately, build healthy relationships, correct
self-perceptions, or build feelings of masculinity and self-worth. To develop
spiritually, he may need to learn to surrender to God, overcome envy and lust,
give Christian service, or develop spiritual wholeness.

His efforts need to be kept in balance. If he spends too much
time reading and studying about homosexual issues, he won’t have time to build
relationships. If he relies on support groups too much, he may not get
individual therapy or focus on developing spiritually.

Multifaceted approach

A man can be more successful when he uses all the
relationships and resources available, such as family, friends, counselors,
Church leaders, faith, prayer, group and individual therapy, books, and support
groups. He also needs to grow in other areas like coming to understand his true
self, confirming his masculine identity, healing old wounds, forgiving,
reconciling his relationship with his father or others, and learning to control
his behavior. And most important, spirituality will need to play a major role.
Commitment to and faith in Jesus Christ is the key to applying the healing power
of the atonement in his life.

Personal study

One of the biggest challenges will be to overcome confusion
by getting good, true information. Many men report this helps them make sense of
their feelings and see things in a more enlightened perspective. A number of
good books are listed at the end of this booklet.

Support groups

Most men find support groups to be very helpful. A support
group should be a safe and confidential place where a man with homosexual
problems can come to know he is not alone in his struggle. It is a place to find
encouragement from other men who are working to resolve the same problems, and
that will help reduce feelings of being alone, different, and isolated. He will
discover that even when others know all about him, they still accept him. When
feelings of rejection are gone, he finds he has the courage to relate to men in
the group and eventually to men outside the group.

In addition to conventional support groups, experiential
groups can be helpful. These groups provide a specific experience, such as
sports programs that teach basic skills and provide opportunities to play the
sport. Participants learn how to function on a team and have the chance to face
and resolve old fears and feelings of rejection and feel accepted as a member of
a team of men.

Support groups can also be helpful to wives, parents,
siblings, and others who may need to work through their own issues.

Be careful to choose a support group that upholds the
doctrines of the gospel, the scriptures, and the practices of the Church without
reservation or exception. Steer clear of groups that seek to justify homosexual
behavior or find exception with the doctrines or practices of the Church.
Evergreen International is an umbrella organization that can give referrals to
safe support groups and therapists. (Information on contacting Evergreen
International is found at the end of this booklet.)

Therapy

Individual therapy is an essential part of the process for
most men who resolve their homosexual problems. A trained therapist can help a
man clarify his identity, make life choices consistent with his personal values,
and guide him through the complex process of transitioning out of homosexuality.
Group therapy can also be beneficial.

It is advisable that a man chooses a male therapist who can
understand and support him in his personal values. An ideal counselor would be
LDS or at least a man who upholds Christian values. Avoid "gay-affirmative" therapy, which encourages individuals to "come out of
the closet" and accept homosexuality. This approach is not in harmony with
gospel principles. Methods such as reparative, re-education, or reorientation
therapies can help a man identify the source of his problems, develop a secure
gender identity, and build healthy relationships with other men that diminish
the sexual attractions he feels toward men.

Behavior

An important first step is to get homosexual behavior under
control. A man who has been heavily involved in sexual activities may have a
demanding struggle to overcome habits and sexual addictions. But if he is
sincerely motivated and makes a significant effort, he can overcome them and
control his behavior. The comforting news is that as he resolves deeper issues,
the compulsions and desires to act out will diminish or disappear and the
struggle to control his behavior will be less demanding. As time passes,
homosexual behavior will become less and less appealing, and in some cases, even
repulsive.

Self-Perception

A man’s attractions are caused, in part, by his perception
of the world and his instinctive efforts to become a part of something he knows
he needs. "Homosexuality" is the story he tells himself to explain
what he doesn’t understand. If he has labeled himself a
"homosexual," he has taken upon himself the extra baggage of society’s
definition of a homosexual. His task, then, is to discover what he doesn’t
understand and adjust his perceptions to match reality.

Self-image and self-worth

Homosexual problems have little to do with sexuality, but a
lot to do with self-image (how a man thinks about himself) and self-worth (how
he feels about himself). Many men who struggle with homosexual attractions have
good self-images—they have good jobs and get along well in life. But they have
low feelings of self-worth—their gut-level feelings tell them they are not
worth much. A man may have to spend some time evaluating and correcting issues
about his self-image.

Masculinity

A man who has homosexual problems may feel inadequate in his
masculinity. Having diminished feelings of masculinity does not mean he sees
himself as feminine or wishes he were a woman. There is a considerable
difference between feeling inadequate as a man and feeling feminine. As a boy,
he may not have fully internalized what it means to be a male or how to function
as a male. He may not have had a nurturing relationship with his father or
another significant male to feel fulfilled in his masculinity, and as a result
may now need to do some work to make up for these deficits.

Emotions

Although a man may know he must overcome homosexual behavior
and change his perception of himself, he needs to accept it emotionally and be
willing to endure the pain that will inevitably come as his emotional child
grows to an adult. He needs to learn to face his problems and deal with them
directly. He must be emotionally open and honest with himself and with others.
Only then can he work out past trauma, accept responsibility for his life today,
and work to make a better future. Together with his therapist, he can determine
what he needs to do to make up for missed emotional growth.

Relationships

Homosexual problems stem from relationship deficits and one
of the keys to resolving the problems is to repair existing relationships and
build healthy, emotionally-satisfying ones. Men who make the most progress in
resolving their problems are those who build quality male relationships. If the
man lacks confidence or experience, he may need to begin by building safe
relationships with men in his support group, and when his confidence grows, move
on to building deeper relationships with men at work and in his ward.

Spirituality

Many men who have homosexual problems are deeply spiritual
men. Satan also recognizes this spiritual sensitivity and tries to use it
against them. Tragically, their emotional needs are misdirected to homosexual
feelings which may divert them from developing higher levels of spirituality.
This is one of Satan’s tools to rob the priesthood from the elect.

In his efforts to resolve his homosexual problems, it is
important that a man recognizes the need to gain a greater understanding of
basic gospel principles such as faith, the atonement, repentance, and
forgiveness. Frank Worthen, a pioneer in Christian groups that minister to
people with homosexual attractions, explained, "Our deliverance from
homosexuality comes from a Person, rather than a method."38
Personal growth and healing come as a man puts total faith in his Savior who has
the power to change his life. There is no condition we could be born into that
the Savior cannot repair. There is no condition that could obstruct our temporal
and eternal happiness and potential that He cannot correct. And when a man has
done all he can, the Savior will take it from there and do the rest.

This booklet is only a brief introduction to the subject of
homosexuality. For further reading, see the books on the following pages. For
personal help, see the listing of organizations below.

Selected Readings

If you can’t find these books at your local bookstore, you
can order them conveniently and confidentially through the mail from Evergreen
International or from Regeneration Books (see the Organizations section at the
end of this booklet).

Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men,
by Jason Park (Century Publishing, Salt Lake City, UT, 1997). This book explains
same-sex attractions from a Latter-day Saint perspective and gives practical
suggestions on how to resolve your homosexual problems. The companion book Helping
LDS Men Resolve their Homosexual Problems is written to suggest to others
how they may help the LDS man as he struggles with these issues.

Helping LDS Men Resolve their Homosexual Problems
by Jason Park (Century Publishing, Salt Lake City, UT, 1997). This book explains
same-sex attractions in a Latter-day Saint context and suggests how to help a
man who is struggling to resolve his homosexual problems. It is written as a
companion to Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men, which is
written to the LDS man.

Born That Way? by Erin Eldridge (Deseret Book
Company, Salt Lake City, UT, 1994). This Latter-day Saint book describes a woman’s
personal struggle with same-sex feelings and how she overcame them through the
power of Jesus Christ and by applying gospel principles.

Desires in Conflict: Answering the Struggle for Sexual
Identity, by Joe Dallas (Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR, 1991).
This Christian book provides practical, effective help for restoring sexual
wholeness. It also provides information for family members and friends on how to
give loving support and explains the rage felt by gay activists. The appendix
gives answers to the pro-gay theology. Two chapters address lesbian concerns.

You Don’t Have to be Gay, by J. A. Konrad
(Pacific House Publishing, Newport Beach, CA, 1987). This easy-to-read book is
written as a series of letters to a young man unfulfilled in his homosexuality.
It teaches from a Christian perspective that people are not "born that
way," that homosexuality is not a problem in relating to members of the
opposite sex, and that people can make choices in how to respond to homosexuality.

AMCAP Journal, vol. 19, no. 1–1993
(Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists, Salt Lake City, UT,
1993). This issue of the journal is devoted to the topic of homosexuality and
contains articles, interviews and book reviews on homosexuality. It gives
pertinent information about homosexuality from a Latter-day Saint perspective.

Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic, by Elizabeth
R. Moberly (James Clarke & Co., Cambridge, England, 1983). A short,
scholarly book on the root causes of homosexuality. Although hard for some to
understand, this enlightening book states that the homosexual condition is an
emotional and social problem, not just a sexual problem. It explains that the
homosexual condition is a misguided attempt to fulfill normal developmental needs
which for some reason were not fulfilled earlier. It distinguishes between the
homosexual condition and its expression in homosexual activity.

Coming Out of Homosexuality: New Freedom for Men &
Women, by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel (Inter Varsity Press, Downers
Grove, IL, 1993). This Christian book is written to people struggling with
same-sex attractions. It provides straightforward ideas and helps.

Homosexual No More: Practical Strategies for Christians
Overcoming Homosexuality, by Dr. William Consiglio (Victor Books,
Wheaton, IL, 1991). Based on teachings developed for Christian ex-gay group
meetings, this book identifies six stages of homosexual development and gives
practical strategies for change, including principles of daily self-therapy.

God Loveth His Children (Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints, 2007, item number 04824). This booklet provides an
understanding about same-sex attraction. In addition to reading it online, you can order
printed copies at
store.lds.org. It is also available in dozens of other languages.

Organizations

North Star is a
place of community for Latter-day Saints (Mormons) dealing with issues
surrounding homosexual attraction who desire to live in harmony with the
teachings of Jesus Christ and the values and doctrines of The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mailing Address: PO Box 17227, Salt Lake City, UT
84117 www.northstarlds.org

Restored Hope is a network of individual
Christian ministries dedicated to restoring hope to those broken by sexual and
relational sin, especially those impacted by homosexuality. www.restoredhopenetwork.com

Homosexuals Anonymous, P. O. Box 7881, Reading, PA
19603, phone 800/253-3000 or 610/376–1146. A nondenominational Christian
organization that uses a modified twelve–step program modeled on that of
Alcoholics Anonymous. The organization publishes a newsletter and other
publications.

Sexaholics Anonymous, P. O. Box 111910, Nashville, TN
37222, phone 615/331–6230. A fellowship of men and women who want to stop
their sexually self-destructive thinking and behavior. The philosophy and
program is taken directly from the twelve steps and twelve traditions of
Alcoholics Anonymous.

Family Research Council, 700 13th Street
NW, Suite 500, Washington, DC 20005, phone 202/393–2100. The council is a
research, resource, and educational organization that promotes the traditional
family. It opposes gay marriage and adoption rights. It publishes numerous
reports and newsletters from a conservative perspective on issues affecting the
family.

Focus on the Family, 420 N. Cascade Avenue, Colorado
Springs, CO 80903, phone 719/531–3400. A Christian organization that seeks to
strengthen the traditional family. It has done research on homosexuality and
school programs, civil rights laws, and other public policy questions. They
publish numerous books and a monthly magazine.

National Association of Research and Therapy of
Homosexuality (NARTH), 16542 Ventura Blvd., Suite 416, Encino, CA 91436,
phone 818/789–4440. This nonprofit educational association is devoted to make
effective psychological therapy available to all who seek to overcome homosexual
problems. They conduct research and provide a referral service, lectures, and
scholarly publications.