I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). It’s the first Wednesday of the month which means it’s a training day. What this means for us is it’s a cleaning day on the pod and there are no ERP group sessions. We’d been told by our ERP Social Worker Ms. Grey that this would be a different kind of cleaning day in that it would be a more extensive cleaning than we’d been accustomed but that didn’t appear to be the case. I never enjoy days like this but mostly because of my own personality I dislike chaos and disorganization, and while the process to get the cleanup done fits that description, the work does get done. It was a little different for me this time being a swamper. At the end of the cleanup, fellow swamper David Sussex and I had to move all the tables and chairs out of the dayroom, turning the tables on the side to clean out hidden treasures from underneath in the rail of the table such as butter and ketchup packets, stored there by inmates so they can have extras at a meal of their choice. To be honest, its an unpleasant task as often the packets have been crushed and are messy. After this was done, we mop the entire floor and sweep. We still get in each others way but it’s a work in progress that will get solved as we get familiar with the job and each other. Once we were done we had to move the tables back to where they were. The former swamper that is working with cellie Brian Whalen to go back into the business of dealing drugs decided to direct Sussex and I where to put the tables. That was fine until he decided he was going to have fun with it. I have little tolerance for the former swamper to begin with much less any desire to fool around while working. I’m kind of the type to get focused on a task. So, I walked away when Sussex continued to play with him. Someone came over and helped Sussex. He’d tell me later he was just wanting to goof around. I suppose I get it. They’re both about 10 years younger than me and the way they work is different than mine. And lets face it, it’s not like the fate of the free world rests on my performance so I could lighten up. Once done, we returned to our cells for the day supposedly to work on ERP program materials. That was no problem for cellie Larry Sands and I as we had a ton of stuff to do. By Friday we had to have our Phase III Goals and Objectives done, the Living With Others Workbook done – all 61 pages and we’re supposed to be working on our legacy project for the graduation. I managed to finish the workbook but not doing a very thorough job in the process. I wrote up my Phase III goals as improving social skills and working on patience. Because the goals are to be presented by Friday May 13th, I chose the Bible as my basis for study on patience, as there’s no time to find and read a book of any value on the subject and to write an essay on it. For improving social skills, I’m writing an essay on the positives and negative things I’ve learned about myself working as the swamper. Just a lot of time constraints. At lunch and supper, Sussex continues to have real problems counting trays. But more importantly, we had another guard who rarely works on our unit. He let me know right away there would be no extra food given to swampers when he works. I was fine with that as I rarely eat the extra stuff anyway. But it told me this wasn’t going to go well. At 6 pm after supper he wouldn’t let us come out of our rooms as every other floor is locked down on training day. But he didn’t know the program floors like ours were exempted. So 7 to 8 inmates were down at his desk arguing the point with him. Finally a white shirt (supervisor) let him now. But by the time cleanup began, barely anyone was in the dayroom which was funny considering all the fuss that was made. It came time to take out the trash. I asked the guard to open the door but he ignored me for 10 minutes, while chatting with another guard. I just left it and went to go get ready for 9:15 am count. Yes, I still need to work on patience? After count, I read emails you all send to the sponsors for me. One reader, who has corresponded in the past, compared reading this blog to an episode of Real Housewives. I get that! But more importantly, it gave me a real good laugh prior to going to sleep. So thank you!

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Our ERP group coordinator, Betty Grey is really struggling. We didn’t see her at all yesterday and today she pulled us together in that same dimly lit exercise room. She was clearly frustrated with the situation. Having come from Racine Correctional Institution (RCI), I’m sure she was far more supported than she is here. Questions inmates in the group had that are especially centered around visitation with the holiday coming up, questions regarding interstate compacts (which permit inmates to move across state lines) and other MSDF procedures. Ms. Grey just had no answer. Larry Sands, a group member, suggested we ask the other group coordinators those questions which made Ms. Grey uncomfortable. Throughout the rest of the day she handed out paperwork that we should have been given at the time homework was given that gave us direction on how to do it. It was just a sense of general disorganization, something someone new in a job might very well have. I feel bad for her to be honest. We had our community meeting today, my first while in the ERP program. The phrase today was “Always do what you are afraid to do” and the word today was “grim” as in “No man ever understands his own artful dodges to escape the grim shadow of reality” talking about how we practice denial and don’t even see the depth of our own self deception. Then a skit was done about how we pursue the easier short sighted self gratification instead of working for a better future. We provided comments on each as they occurred. Then one man stood up with the news article for the week and it focused on Brett Favre’s streak ending. He tied it to what we’re doing here by saying Favre was in recovery and accomplished his streak while in recovery from his Vicodin addition. The only problem is Favre is not in “recovery” at least not in the traditional sense. But nothing was said. The announcement was made we wouldn’t have this meeting the next 2 Fridays because of the holidays. My cellie, Frank Whalen, then stood up to read something but the coordinator told him not to which was odd. The meeting broke and we all went to clean our cells as is the custom on Fridays. Whalen came and got me and asked me to read what he had. HIs girlfriend, a 60 year old therapist (he’s 44) had written him an amazing letter describing him as a Narcissistic but that he was an awesome, terrific person to her. Turns out he hadn’t even read it and he was going to read it to the whole group. I told him this was a bad idea as she went into detail on his failure and sex life and I felt that some inmates would use that info to torture him. Whalen asked me what was in it and I told him his girlfriend loved him very much but had some things to tell him and he should sit down by himself to read it. I was envious of him for a minute, having such a lady who stood by him despite his crimes. But I was happy he’s not alone in this world. I got a letter saying Lucy had changed her mind and decided I couldn’t stay there when I get out due to personal reasons. It’s her right to change her mind and I can’t really blame her. I’m a felon and a burden at this point. Of course, I’d already turned in my paperwork on this so I don’t know what will happen. I’ve got 23 weeks to go but Ms. Grey wants to know now to do her job. I appreciate your prayers and I’ll keep working on this.