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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Before I address this cake, I would like to state a few things for the record:

1) My mother reads this blog. (Hi, Mom!)

2) I have never, ever, even remotely considered the possibility of so much as looking at a piece of drug paraphernalia. Ever. (Hi, Mom!)

So my question is this, Stephanie A.: Does a crack pipe really look like a coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows? 'Cuz I always pictured something a little edgier, like that thing the caterpillar is smoking in Alice in Wonderland*.

*Yes, Disney movies are my only base of reference for drugs. Heck, it was years before I figured out smoking doesn't turn people into donkeys. (Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)

...doesn't crack come in a little plastic baggy? or in a line on the coffee table? MY only reference for drugs is on the movies, quite obviously.

If the person hadn't referenced a 'crack-head' on the foil I would've been guessing for a very, very long time. Maybe you should get people to send in *good* examples of crack-pipe cakes. We could say it was educational.

No one's EVER accused Lewis Carroll of liking little boys - he's been accused of liking little GIRLS, such as Alice Liddell, the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland.

But it isn't proven - some historians claim that his family invented a Victorian-approved myth of him as a gentle man who preferred the company of children to that of adults - to cover up the fact that he scandalously had a lot of lady-friends. And of course they didn't think that 150 years later he'd be famous for his supposed pedophilia.

my thought was that it was someone actually cooking teh cocaine into freebase crack form... which you do on a stove-- not that i smoke crack, nor have i ever, but unfortunately know a lot about the subject of drugs :(

I'm not a crack smoker, and neither were any of my school (HS and college) friends/acquaintances. But we used to call each other "crackhead" and say "s/he's on crack" or "I'm [not] on crack" to explain our zaniness....maybe Addie just has funny friends?

well if we are going to talk about hookah smoking caterpillars, I would be remiss not to mention the fabulous Alice in Wonderland cake that (one of my fave bloggers) Becky ordered for her kid's birthday (yes, complete with the caterpillar... really!!)

I'm trying to be nice today. Isn't my comment nice? Although I did just tell this dirtbag at the gym to shut his piehole... but I'm nice for the whole rest of the day. Even if this cake begs for a bit of sarcastic humor. I won't.

What the caterpillar smokes in Alice in Wonderland is called a hookah and is not used to smoke drugs. It's actually used to smoke a kind of tobacco. Much healthier for you to smoke than cigarettes, less chemical additives (if any at all) and much smoother since the smoke is filtered through water. The tobacco comes in all sorts of flavors like strawberry and blueberry, etc. I use one all the time, it's delicious.

Fine. We're all agreed that this looks nothing like a real crack pipe, and that it's ugly and unappetizing. What I can't get over is the idea of sending someone a cake to celebrate their crack addiction. This has to be some kind of personal joke, but it takes tasteless vulgarity to a new low (is it the same baker who's been making v-day cakes?)

Thank you Elyse for coming to the defense of Lewis Carroll, who has never been proven to be a pedophile. His relationship with Alice Liddell was said to be that of a father and daughter and that, yes, he adored her and wrote Alice in wonderland as his tribute to her.

As for the Crack cake....since when do we CELEBRATE someone doing crack????? The whole idea of giving someone a cake to celebrate drug use is so totally warped.

WV: amismam - what the woman said when she emerged from the dentists chair to find her child had torn up the waiting room. ( Or... wait maybe that should be amnotismam) hee! hee!

I'm glad that Elyse cleared up the Lewis Carroll history. Sometimes I think Freud did us more harm than good by making us not only second-guess everything we do but making it possible for an entire subsection of academics to exist in which we can claim, postmortem and without solid evidence, that dead celebrities were pedophiles, drug-addled, self-loathing, suicidal...

*cough* Sorry. Last two weeks of the semester in grad school. I'm having issues. That said...umm...crappy cake.

If it WAS a crack pipe, it would have to be for Frosty the Snowman. Although his pipe is a corncob, perhaps it has a white crack dust film on it?!

OR

It's a really big mug of hot chocolate, with a handle, with lots 'o whipped cream and a smattering of blood from a bloody nose produced from intense amounts of steam from such a large cup of steamin' hot chocolate. Besides those guesses, I haven't the faintest idea what the hell it's supposed to be!

The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale. I like to think that I was a pretty good kid, but maybe I was scared to turn into a donkey.

My first thought was that it's crack cooking on the stove. In a pot. I've been told they mix cocaine with baking soda (and water? Not sure) over heat on the stove & cook it down.

I like how everyone is quick to deny their association with any sort of drug use ;)....Despite my partyin' days several years back, I've never smoked or cooked crack but I've spent enough time in bad parts of town to know what a crack den smells like (not as bad as a meth lab, but they do stink if you're within 100 yards of one).

This isn't a crack pipe. A bubbling pot of cooking crack (and yes, bloody sperm...I see it too) THAT I would believe.

Whoa. You know, Disney movies poison the soul. Just thought you'd want to know that fact. Besides, they also depict drug-slurpin' caterpillars. No wonder I thought that caterpillars were big and scary.(Hi, Mom!!) ^^u

You can smoke many things in a hookah. The most prevalent thing in the United States (especially in Indian restaurants) is to smoke Tobacco or shisha (as the U.S. doesn't consider the nicotine in Tobacco a dangerous enough drug).

So, Mr. Caterpillar wasn't necessarily doing any illegal drugs. This cake, on the other hand, should be illegal in its own right. It doesn't even impress me as paraphernalia.

Michelle said... "The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale."*************Yeah---that was Pinocchio. Disney's. (Love the cricket, by Jiminy!)The original was a book by Carlo Collodi, written in 1883. Guess they didn't have flicks back then. Google it and you'll see some really weird illustrations. Maybe Collodi was on crack.((Slander!))

I've never actually smoked it myself, blech, but have seen people at concerts... and yes, that is far from what it looks like.

And a hookah would be used for tobacco or marijuana... a crack head would probably sell the thing to buy more crack.

However, were the cake iced in chocolate frosting and the center filled with different shades of chocolate shavings and bits of cherries, it would look kinda like a smoking pipe :-) ...elementary my dear Watson!