“I’m Not Much of a Beer Guy” Says Guy Who Spends Every Weekend at Craft Breweries

RICHMOND, Va. — Calling his regular activity of getting day-drunk at various craft breweries inconsequential, Christopher Hayden of Chesterfield revealed that he isn’t much of a beer guy, sources confirmed Sunday.

“I like craft beer, but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a beer person,” Hayden, who spends every weekend visiting a different craft brewery around the Commonwealth, said in a recent interview. “It’s a fun thing to do. I enjoy trying new releases, keeping up with my Untappd app, and discussing which stouts I’m looking forward to for the upcoming winter season, but I’m by no means obsessed.”

In between frequent trips to tour breweries and sample flights, Hayden works at Capital One, where he regularly discusses how double IPAs differ from traditional IPAs with his co-workers.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like doing other things, too. I love checking out all of the festivals around Virginia, which usually have a balanced selection of lagers, saisons, lambics, stouts, sours, and pilsners based on the season,” Hayden continued. “My friends and I are regulars at Hardywood, but not just for the beer; that one local band that plays there all of the time is pretty good.”

When questioned about his recent decision to stand in line overnight at The Veil Brewing Company in an attempt to snag a can of their limited Pumpkin Smash IPA, Hayden claimed it was more of a camping trip than a glorified beer run. “It was a nice night out, and my roommate and I just got some new camping equipment, so we figured why not pitch up off Roseneath for the night?”

Rachel Pearce, Hayden’s girlfriend, stands by his claim that he is no more than a casual beer fan. “Sure, on our first date he spent 10 minutes reviewing the beer menu and correlating it to the food he was considering ordering, and then another 15 minutes elaborating on the aromas and tartness of a sour from Blue Mountain he had just ordered, but everyone does that, right?”

At press time, Hayden was seen booking trips to numerous Oktoberfest events around Virginia with people he had met in the “Fans of Virginia Craft Breweries” Facebook group, referring to his plans as “a few weekend getaways here and there.”

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