Miley Cyrus Won’t Show You Pictures Of Her Dogs, Will Show You Part Of Her Butt (NSFW)

I don’t understand what Miley Cyrus wants me to think about her. One minute she quits Twitter, the next minute she’s back on. Then she says she doesn’t want to talk about her personal life by talking about her personal life. Her engagement ring goes missing every other day. And she says she’s not going to show us pictures of her dogs anymore. But it’s totally cool if we see the very top of her butt crack and a hint of underboob. Nothing says privacy like partial nudity!

Miley appears this month on the cover of V Magazinein a racy outfit with pinkish-purplish hair and a scowl on her face. But those man briefs are nothing compared to the almost-naked photos inside the magazine, in which she proudly displays portions of her bare butt and boobs. Just a warning that these pictures are kinda NSFW, if your boss just so happens to disapprove of you looking at celebrity butt cracks at your desk, in which case… bummer?

This one is particularly confusing. Is that sexy? Did I miss the memo somehow? It kind of just looks like the photographer walked in on her changing in her bedroom and she threw him an angry face and said, “Oh, that? That’s my butt.” I guess maybe Miley wanted to take Gwyneth Paltrow’s side butt trend to a new level by creating a “top butt” trend. It’s going to take the nation by storm, you’ll see.

Then there’s the classic underboob shot. And what I really don’t get here is that she obviously had the shirt made for her since it says “Miley.” Shouldn’t it fit her then? I guess it doesn’t count as topless if it’s just the bottom half of the chest that’s showing, eh?

Hey, Miley, you don’t have to put your hand over your breast like that. You can just button that blazer you’re wearing. Or just wear a shirt.

I don’t know what to think about this Miley Cyrus anymore. She really is an enigma. A partially naked, scowling enigma.