Friday, April 28, 2006

12 - CHARLES IN CHARGE 11 - PERFECT STRNGERS:just becuase of the way Bbalki said Larry App-lay-tun, and the Meposian dance of joy 10- LAVERNE & SHIRLEY: because of Lenny and Squiggy09 - THREE'S COMPANY:cause its funny when Jack trips over the couch08 - WHO'S THE BOSS: TONY DANZA. need i say more?07 - COSBY: (early stuff before it got too preachy) plain and simple funny stuff06 - DIFF'RNT STROKES:whatchoo talkin bout...and its so cheesy its awesome, has the bonus of a great theme song05 - FACTS OF LIFE: Mrs. Garretyt rules....and the rare case where the spinoff is better than the original show04 - CHEERS:usually solidly funny.....although I liked Coach better and Diane better03 - EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND: becuase so many of the situations are dead-on and Marie acts a lot like my mom makes it even funnier/scarier02 - SEINFELD:because Poppy peed on the couch01 - FAMILY TIES: every member of the cast was genuinely funny and they actually felt like a real family

HONORABLE MENTIONS: - SMALL WONDER - OUT OF THIS WORLDThese Honorable Mentions apply becasue those shows were only shown on the weekends or weekday afternoons.....they could not have survived primetime viewing.....but for Sunday afternoon they were just fine. Charles in Charge is the rare case of a weekend show that could have withstood primetime which is why it gets a number----------------------------------------------------------------Thanks, Melchy! Being the Ultimate 80s Sitcom Guru that you are, I find your list very interesting and funny. However, where's ALF? Married With Children? Andy Griffith?!!!!hehehe

Today's "Villain of the Day" is THULSA DOOM!"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of......"

The ashes are trampled into the Earth, and the blood become as snow as the Dark Invaders attack the small village. The destruction is of Legend. "Who knows what they came for, weapons of steel or murder? It was never known." All that is known is the symbol they all wore; a snake with two heads. Only two living souls remain among the fiery genocide around them. A young boy's mother stands strong, bravely protecting her young son with proud steel. The Invaders hault their attack and a man with gentle eyes removes his helmet and simply looks into her eyes. She gazes into the calm, peaceful eyes of the strange man standing before her - a man with brown skin, straight black hair and hypnotic blue eyes; surely lineage from a lost or forgotten race. His gaze soothes her, her racing heartbeat calms to a relaxing rhythm. Her blade gently drops to her side and her head is taken, her son still holding her hand. Conan the Barbarian, fiercest Cimmerian warrior of the Lands, is violently born by THULSA DOOM.

Years later, Conan is a MAN. Raging Thurst for Revenge flows through his veins, pumps through his warrior heart. He goes after Thulsa Doom with the taste of blood already in his mouth, the Devil himself in his eyes. Bah! Fool! You do not know what power is.

"Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger! Look around you. There, on the rocks; that beautiful girl. Come to me, my child... [the girl jumps to her death] THAT is strength, boy! THAT is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?....Crucify him!!!"

But Conan has friends, a rare thing in this world I tell you, and is rescued from Death's cold grip. Once again, he goes to Thulsa Doom with the power of Crom in his flesh and steel. Upon entering Thulsa Doom's lair, inside the bowels of the Mountain of Power, they realize the horror of what they are truly fighting. For Thulsa Doom is no mere mortal King! He rules the Snake Cult! Behold his Orgy Den of butchered human corpses and steamy afrodisiatic human flesh soup!!!Thulsa Doomtransforms into his true form, the living image of the God Set himself!! What shall Thulsa Doom do first, to his unwelcomed guests? How about a live poisonous snake-arrow into Conan's girlfriend? A fatal wound for sure!

Looks like IRON MAN is still in the game of getting made into a movie. Every 2yrs or so rumors of it being a possibility surface; the last one being with Nicholas Cage (ugh). However, the lastest news seems like its actually going to happen with John Favreau writing and directing it! I think he may be able to pull it off. Iron Man is one of those characters that can easily be mishandled, even in his own book by Marvel. Fingers crossed Favreau "gets it" and nails it. When casting Tony Stark, I had always thought either Timothy Dalton (too old now) or Tom Cruise would have been good choices, if using well-knowns. I still say Tom Cruise, even though he's a crazy egotistical prick. But that's kind of how Tony Stark is!

In semi-related news (not really), it looks like SHIA LEBEOUF (Holes, Battle of Shaker Heights, IRobot) is going to be cast as SPIKE in the Live-Action Transformers movie! Nice. He's perfect. Great, fun, talented guy, too. During IRobot, I met him at a screening of Battle of Shaker Heights and briefly talked with him afterwards about the 2 movies. So you know, we're tight now. :)

Thursday, April 27, 2006

It really upsets me that Looney Tunes are no longer being played on saturday mornings. An entire generation of kids growing up without them is a travesty on our Society and Future. Those cartoons being put in front of children should be a freaking Federal Law. I've been Netflixing the old series lately and loving every single minute ot them!!! Truly brilliant stuff that are ESSENTIAL to the Mind and Soul. So today I went to add the 3rd Series and took the time to read the "about" snippet on the site. My vision went RED with furious anger as I read the last line of the description: "The compilation is intended for adults and may not be appropriate for children."

WHAT THE FUCK???!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!

What kind of a world do we live in where LOONEY TUNES is not appropriate for children? Hey, I'm no "Ban Political Correctness" flag waver, but give me a break!!! This has gone TOO far and I am ashamed that I am apart of the generation of adults that would slap this ridiculous label on my beloved Looney Tunes. Fucking Bullshit. JIMSMASH!!!!

To the children and even young adults who have gone through life without knowing and loving Looney Tunes, on behalf of my generation, I sincerely apologize to you. The torch was passed to us from generations before and we dropped the ball and allowed it to go away.----------------------------------------------------- *Apologies for all the cursing, but GODDAMN!!

(also known as "The Merciless", "His Highness", "Master of all he Surveys'', "Emperor of the Galaxy", "Ruler of The Universe")

Where Darth Vader is the Emperor's lap dog,....MINGanswers to no lifeform. Where Doctor Doom seeks to gain power and conquer the world,.... MING IS power, and uses the galaxy as his play thing. Yes, MING,.... Ruler of MONGO and all he surveys. The baddest of the bad. He rules his Kingdom with an jeweled incrusted fist, demanding unconditional loyalty from his subjects and annual tributes to be paid to him in his honor by his governed Kingdoms. Often rulers of such Kingdoms Fall upon their own swords (willingly,..... or not) to prove their devotion to Lord MING. When attending his court, there is certain edicate that must be strictly maintained. For example; Violence amongst his subjects is stictly prohibited,..because no one,...NO ONE...dies in the palace without his highness' permission. He will often take liberties with select females of his kingdom, by bestowing upon them the great honor of being his concubine,.....until a time were he grows weary of them and blasts them into space.

Yes,..MING! There is him,.. and then there is everyone else. As a matter of fact,.. there's just him. Don't worry about anyone else, or your likely to find yourself living in exile on the ice planet Friggia for commiting such a blatant offense.

When Ming is to busy blasting Kingdoms to atoms, quelling feuds between the Hawk-People and the Arborians, putting enemies of the state to death, or just amusing himself with a small planet in the SK system, he relies on the head of his secret police, Klytus, to weed out traitors and insurgents (frequently employing devoted brainwashed, errr....I mean patriotic minions as spys). MING, does however, often enjoy the delicate way Klytus applys the BORE WORMS to suspects during interrogations (usually with grapes, and a power potion). And, on the occassion, when some pathetic creature hurls themselves out into the void in a vain attempt to thwart Lord MING's enjoyment, he will employ the use of his floating servant to disentigrate them. Or, he may choose to resolve the issue with the use of his Power Ring. The exact extent and capabilities of the ring have yet to be determined. But, MING routinely uses it to subdue, and control his subjects. A frequently entertaining way is usually through a hypnotic state in wich the subject responds in an erotic euphoria, which is orchestrated by MING himself. His daughter has given the best response thus far........

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I can't stand watching foreign films with English Dub. Can't stand it!!!! The filmmaker's intent and vision is completely lost for one. Plus, the voice actors are usually sub-par and don't seem to be emulating what their screen characters are supposed to be feeling and behaving. At best, the dubbed version comes across as comical like an old Godzilla movie. So whenever I rent a foreign film, I ALWAYS watch in its original language with English SUBTITLES. The film is always leagues better. In fact, I sometimes find having subtitles in any movie often times aides the film as you can focus more on the writing and less on the actor's delivery, which in American films, is sometimes pretty crappy (Thank you again Hollywood for continually diminishing film standards).

With that said, please hear me out with this one....I'm a big fan of French director JEAN-PIERRE JEUNET. He directed "City of Lost Children", "Delicatesson", "Amelie" and "A Very Long Engagement." I just love his films! One of the fun aspects of the ALIEN Saga is that each outing is with a new visionary director who puts their own style and an entirely new take on the ideas and themes of the Original. So I was excited to see what "ALIEN meets City of Lost Chilrden" would be like!!! But to say I was disappointed in ALIEN: Resurrection is a HUGE fucking understatement(I'll leave that rant for another post some day). I couldn't figure out how one of my favorite directors which such a great track record fucked up an ALIEN movie so badly. Sure the script sucked, but that's not his fault; he was approached and hired to direct the film after the script had been greenlit. In a Q&A session at a small theater in Santa Monica a few years ago, he said that during the making of A4, he did not speak English and therefore had to direct most of his actors through a translator. Whoa! Well, that may explain why the delivery and performances from decent actors sucked so hard. So one night I decided to watch ALIEN: Resurrection in FRENCH with English subtitles to get a feel of the movie HE was seeing when he made it.

I have to say, the movie became something else. Instead of the abomination I saw in the theater, I now was watching another French Jeunet movie! Now, I don't speak French, so perhaps the audio dub actors suck, but to my ignorant American ears, they were wonderful! While every single actor before annoyed me, now the characters were interesting and likable (yes, even Wynona Ryder)! The movie is now yanked out of cheezie Hollywood flopland and instead resides within a great Jeunet french film of freakiness and creepy atmosphere. Also, with the bad performances no longer in your face and blocking the enjoyment of the movie, you now have a clear vision of the IDEAS of the story; genetic manipulation of both species and unintentional cross-breeding.

The movie still has a few bumps, but they pass quickly. So seriously, give the movie another viewing one night with the French audio track activated - do it for Jimmy. I think you'll enjoy the movie...atleast moreso than previously... especially if you're a fan of Jeunet's films. However, once Ripley8 gets pulled into the Hive, just stop the movie. God himself cannot save the movie once the Newborn arrives.

Also, here are a few angles to watch from to enjoy and geek:-The cinematography, as with all Jeunet films, is mouth-watering gorgeous!-Think of the film as a 100% French made film; this is their take on the Alien Saga.-Pretend it came out in the mid-70s; heavily influenced by Heavy Metal magazine and European comics of the time.-The Set Design is really cool; the interior of the ship is like one big metal Alien Hive!

This skull pic is of a Viking helmet, man! Click here to watch the trailer for the upcoming movie PATHFINDER!!

"A thousand years in the past, a young Viking boy is accidentally left behind during a skirmish between the Vikings and Native Americans. The Native Americans raise the boy as their own, but when their village is wiped out from a Viking raid, the adopted Viking becomes his people's savior in battling the Norsemen."Looks freaking AWESOME!!! Good? Probably not, but looks to be one helluva ride! I mean come on, its VIKINGS battling NATIVE AMERICAN WARRIORS!!! Plus, Clancy Brown (Highlander, Carnivale) is in it as Viking badass. I'm there.

Chief Executive of Marvel, Avi Arad, has revealed the villain for HULK 2. It shall be none other than the ABOMINATION! The Abomination is a former Yugoslav spy who has mutated into a 980-pound freak of terrifying strength and unpleasant demeanor. He should have been the villain for HULK 1 since the name would have been appropriate for that Turd of a movie. Then they could have used Shrek for the 2nd movie; 2 green CG guys fighting it out again to empty theaters. Oh wait, maybe they are doing that. God I'm in a mood today.

Dig Carlos' illustrations here! He's an illustration student down at Ringling in FL. Man, these really take me back to my Undergrad when I was an Illustration Major. I sure do miss drawing. I also sometimes look at my old work and wonder how they gave me a diploma...................................... ............................................... ............................................... oh, sorry, drifted into a self-loathing daze there for a second - it's one of those days today. Anyway, I like Carlos' work. Good work, man! And thank you WOOSPACE, since I grabbed this from you.

SWEET!!! The Sci-Fi Channel has announced the development of CAPRICA, a spinoff prequel of Battlstar Galactica! Caprica will take place more than half a century before the events that play out in Galactica. Excerpt from the announcement:

The people of the Twelve Colonies are at peace and living in a society not unlike our own, but where high-technology has changed the lives of virtually everyone for the better. But a startling breakthrough in robotics is about to occur, one that will bring to life the age-old dream of marrying artificial intelligence with a mechanical body to create the first living robot: a Cylon. Following the lives of two families, the Graystones and the Adamas (the family of William Adama, who will one day become the commander of the Battlestar Galactica), Caprica will weave together corporate intrigue, techno-action and sexual politics into television's first science fiction family saga.

Man, I REALLY hope they take this opportunity to use the old skool Cylons!!!!! No word yet on when it will air, etc.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Venger is an evil wizard despot on a quest to conquer the realm of Dungeons & Dragons('80s cartoon), but he needs more power to do this. This power is contained in the six weapons the band of young heroes possess (The Weapons of Power). Venger seeks to capture/destroy them.

When not battling the kids, Venger's hobbies include terrorizing the inhabitants of the realm, instilling fear into them, so that they will stay oppressed and not revolt against him. He uses his servants to do this, such as the Orcs, Lizard Men, the Shadow Demon, plus lots of slave labor (which are usually Dwarfs).

Lord Venger's voice is one of THE absolute coolest voices ever, thanks to voice actor Peter Cullen; deep with an artificial reverberation. His voice is what I picture Dr. Doom's voice being. You hear that Marvel, ya Chumps?!!!! Plus he has a really neat evil black horse with red eyes! Venger is only frightened of one thing - Tiamat the Dragon, this is because Tiamat is immune to his magic/power. Other than Tiamat, Venger is pretty much invulnerable!!!!
...... er, but is often thwarted by kids & an annoying baby unicorn.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Peter Cullen was also the voice of Optimus Prime, Iron Hide, Eeyore, and KARR (Knight Rider) to name a few. More about him here.

**Some bullshit info I do not acknowledge: It is revealed by inept unoriginal writer, er I mean by Dungeon Master, that Venger was not always evil and that Venger is Dungeon Master's son! The poop keeps on oozing with the other revelation that there is a hidden sister too, called Karina, who Venger imprisoned. Like I said, I do not acknowledge that shite....NOR SHOULD YOU!!!

Generations grew up reading Peanuts in the Sunday paper, including my gen. Schulz was one of the great panel art storytellers of our Time! I had the pleasure of seeing many of his original pieces in a gallery show last year at the Hammer and LACMA museums of art. Seeing his work, especially his early work, up close like that was truly inspirational!! Also, it was indescribable to stand next to people in their 80s and 90s smiling from ear to ear reminiscing of when they first saw the strips in the paper! It was a life-altering experience!

Fantagraphics has been releasing The Complete Peanuts in these really neat formatted hardcover books. I haven't had a chance to pick up these cool books yet, but have flipped through them numerous times in the store and let me tell you they kick ass!!!! It's really fun to see his early drawing style and see it slowly transform into the version most of us know and love.Book 5 is scheduled for release this May. Even if you were never a big fan of The Peanuts, next time you're in a bookstore go check out some of these. They truly are really neat.

Alex Ross is currently doing a bi-monthly mini-series comic entitled JUSTICE over at DC Comics. It deals with all the classic Justice League characters beautifully painted as only Ross can do. And as with any Ross project, it kicks ass like you couldn't believe!! Last night I read #5, the latest issue, and I was wowed atleast 4 times!! The series just gets better and better!! I highly recommend picking it up or waiting and getting the collected book when it comes out probably next year sometime. The writing, art and storytelling is just amazing. Even if you're not a typical comic fan, I think you'd enjoy this.

One of the great things about Ross is that he nails characters down perfectly. It'll be hard to top his version of Superman as it is THE Superman as far as I'm concerned. In the back of #5 he had a page devoted to Wonder Woman. In the past, I felt he didn't quite have his ultimate WW down, but this lastest painting tells me he's finally nailed it!!! Check it out; click the image to enlarge! (The WW pic is what spawned this post).

I HIGHLY recommended these Alex Ross books you should go buy immediately, perhaps email Lisa and see if her store, Neptune Comics, has them or can get them (Support Comic Shops!!):

KINGDOM COME: Possible dark future of DC; Brilliant stuff, quite possible the best comic ever!THE WORLD'S GREATEST SUPERHEROES: A collection of oversized comics by Ross, each chapter spotlighting one of DC's classic heroes; Supeman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Shazam, etc.MARVELS: A look at the early days of Marvel through a reporter's camera/eyeMYTHOLOGY: A collection of drawings and paintings by Ross of DC characters; gorgeous!TERMINATOR: BURNING EARTH: Before T2 was even an idea, this painted book came out that takes place in the future showing the final battle between John Connor and Skynet.

Jesus Christ!! You are not going to believe this asinine bullshit. Plans are in effect to remake The Nightmare Before Xmas but in 3D(directed by Henry Selick). Oh god, please tell me this isn't true. I think it's safe to say I don't need to go off on a rant on this one. Or do I? Just let me know and I will.source

All together now, "JIMSMASH!!!!!"

UPDATE:Ok, I guess I jumped the gun on this one. Mr Legs has informed me that he heardit's a re-release of the original with 3-D (jumpout of the screen) imax added to it. I feel silly now. This is what happens when Jimmy doesn't get his coffee in the morning. The sad thing is, it wasn't too difficult to believe they would do a remake, was it?

Valkris is the 2ndFEMALE Klingon ever to be shown in the Star Trek Mythos, making her brief appearance in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock. A Klingon deep cover agent who obtained Project Genesis data and turned it over to Commander Kruge (played by Christopher Lloyd!) at a rendezvous point in space. Unfortunately, Valkris viewed the Project Genesis Data and Kruge, who was also her mate & lover, was forced to kill her.Valkris:You may find it useful.Kruge: Then...you have seen it? Valkris:I have , my lord Kruge:.....Unfortunate. Valkris: Understood...

(Why didn't he just beam her onboard? She's a Klingon Fox!)Valkris had been chosen by her family to lead the house after her older brother Kiosan had damaged the line's reputation. Her honorable death was the capstone in her quest to restore her family name to respectability.

Also, I always thought she would have made a terrific EVIL-LYN in a He-Man movie.

Got some new Transformers news for the upcoming movie by Michael Bay. I have very low hopes for this live-action flick based on 3 things:-Hollywood has a pretty strong record of fucking these things up-Michael Bay? Uggghhhh.-Just don't think they can pull it off. Peter Jackson, maybe....

Anyway, here are the news snippets. Despite my pessimism, these sound good for the most part:

1) They ARE auditioning the ORIGINAL voice actors for The Transformers!!!! That's not to say they WILL be cast. Bay wants to make sure their voices haven't aged too much. Cast them, DAMNIT!!!!2) We do indeed see Cybertron!3) There is an Optimus Prime and Megatron Fight in downtown Los Angeles!!!!!4) Scorponok is in the movie. er, who?5) The characters are being slightly re-designed so they won't be as "blocky". Hmmmm. Stick with the orig, people. Robots are supposed to be blocky, ya boneheads!6) The Movie starts in Antartica with a man finding something strange in the ice. God I hope its not the AVP hidden pyramid. (yes, I'm still bitter, damnit!!!)7) Action - "From the animatics, the action seemed to be huge and what you'd want from a movie like this. Of course, Bay's fingerprints are all over them, even at this early stage of planning. I saw fights between fully transformed Autobots and Decepticons that had them plucking lamp posts out of the ground and smashing the other with the blocky concrete end, I saw them jumping all over each other, only to be shot back by an arm cannon, I saw mid-air transformations from a Jet into a robot as it collides a standing robot in downtown LA"8) Movie starts shooting NEXT MONTH9) Teaser trailer comes to us July 4th10) Optimus will still indeed be a Mac truck. Man, he better be the same fucking Make & Model

If you haven't heard the new TOOL song "Vicarious" yet, I highly recommend you seek it out! At first it sounds like a retread of Lateralus, but around 46-seconds in, it kicks into gear and becomes it's own. I can't stop listening to it!!

The new album, "10,000 DAYS", is scheduled for a May 2nd release.Fuk yeh I'm there!

Behold the upcoming SPIDERMAN CHESS SET!! Looks pretty neat. Personally, I want the ALIENS chess set. But Spidey fans will flip at this one. An old-school X-Men set would be nice... I'm sure its coming.