Friday, May 05, 2006

You can only answer once

The Sacred Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

001 Once you have their money, you never give it back. 003 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. 006 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. 007 Keep your ears open. 008 Only a fool passes up a business opportunity. 009 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 010 Greed is eternal. 013 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. 016 A deal is a deal until a better one comes along. 018 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. 019 Satisfaction is not guaranteed. 021 Never place friendship above profit. 022 A wise man can hear profit in the wind 027 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. 031 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. 033 It never hurts to suck up to the boss. 034 War is good for business. 035 Peace is good for business. 040 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. 041 Profit is its own reward. 044 Never confuse wisdom with luck. 047 Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own. 048 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. 052 Never ask when you can take. 057 Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them. 058 There is no substitute for success. 059 Free advice is seldom cheap. 060 Let's you and him fight. 062 The riskier the road, the greater the profit. 065 Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff. 069 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races. 075 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. 076 Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. 079 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. 082 The flimsier the product, the higher the price. 085 Never let the competition know what you're thinking. 089 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. 094 Females and finances don't mix. 097 Enough ... is never enough. 099 Trust is the biggest liability of all. 102 Nature decays, latinum last forever. 103 Sleep can interfere .... [cut off] 104 Faith moves mountains ... of inventory. 106 There is no honour in poverty. 109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. 111 Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them. 112 Never have sex with the boss' sister. 113 Always have sex with the boss. 117 You can't free a fish from water. 121 Everything is for sale, even friendship. 123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. 139 Wives serve, brothers inherit. 141 Only fools pay retail. 144 There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket. 162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. 177 Know your enemies ... but do business with them always. 181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. 189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. 191 A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves. 192 Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it. 194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. 202 The justification for profit is profit. 214 Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. 217 You can't free a fish from water. 218 Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much. 219 Possession is eleven-tenths of the law. 223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. 229 Latinum lasts longer than lust. 236 You can't buy fate. 242 More is good ... all is better. 255 A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity. 261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. 266 When in doubt, lie. 284 Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. 285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Liquid Latinum / Happy Cinco de Drinko

I'm working on a Liquid Latinum. Recipe from Quark's Bar: Melon Liqueur, Spiced Rum, Blue Curacao, Alize Red Passion Liqueur (plus orange and pineapple juice). I bought those bottles on April 16th and quickly went through them all, evenly, making nothing but Latinum from them. It's fruity as hell, way too complicated to be a regular thing, but it was good and I found myself having become a girl drink drunk like Dave Foley in Kids in the Hall. I just finished the four bottles today. And I am debating going to get a restock tomorrow, or much later today.