There's a variant of this joke that says "When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps; when he says perhaps he means no; when he says no he is no diplomat". In the conversation-between-the-sexes case, the joke bumps up against the "no means no" issue.

Jokes of this general kind, mostly more elaborate, are common. We've previously featured guides to translating British businesspersons and French diplomats ("Translated phrase-list jokes", 5/21/2011), scientists ("Clarity and respect", 1/5/2005), etc. Translation caricatures pretty much cover the usual suspects: males, females, bosses, workers, ethnic groups, and so on.

14 Comments

It would be better if she said "maybe" at the end. That would mean "no" if he's right. But since then he would be wrong, it would really mean "maybe" again. But if maybe he's right, then maybe maybe means no…

[(myl) Yes, I think there's a version that would definitely get us into "Cretan liar paradox" territory.]

I've used this basic formula (yes means maybe, maybe means no) when recruiting people for a minyan, a religious prayer quorum in Judaism, and I think it applies to any sort of voluntary, unpaid recruitment.

braindancer said,

It is interesting that in ex-USSR, there is an exact opposite version of this joke. (In fact, most frequently it is quoted together with the one about the diplomat.) "When a girl says 'no', it means maybe; when a girl says 'maybe', it means yes; when a girl says 'yes', she's no girl". This version relies on a double meaning of a word 'girl' in Russian – it means both "young female" and "virgin", so first sexual intercourse basically converts a girl into a woman.

LC said,

"This is easy to remember, just watch the symmetry. When a man says 'yes' he means 'perhaps'; when he says 'perhaps' he means 'no'; when he says 'no' he is no diplomat. When a lady says 'no' she means 'perhaps'; when she says 'perhaps' she means 'yes'; when she says 'yes' she is no lady." – Paul A. M. Dirac

Glenn Bingham said,

Dan M. said,

Yes Jeroen, that's rape culture. No means no, and you're sexist scum to even joke that it doesn't. Women don't need a "tribute" from you, especially not for the "quicks" that you've imagined in them.

I appreciate that ML has pointed to some articulation of "no means no", and I know this is Language Log, not Basic Human Decency Log, but could we be a bit less neutral to blatant lying in the service of sexual assault?