I believe the Twitter fashion war between Michael Wilbon and JaVale McGee will come down to this: whoever has the last word will lose. Because, look, I know a whole lot about pointless and unwinnable Twitter wars, and they never make anyone look good, especially when the topic has less meaning than the price of tapioca in Bangladesh, and I’m pretty sure ESPYs fashion sense fits that bill.

If you’re just joining us, the first skirmish came when Wilbon said McGee and Justin Beiber [sic] were the two worst dressed men at the cynosure of self-love and self-importance known as the ESPYs. Knowing that McGee didn’t respect the ESPYs dress code made me like him more. But then McGee responded by seeming to question Wilbon’s sexuality, which made me like him less.

But now it’s Wilbon’s turn, and while Mike has always been nothing but a prince, and a helpful one at that, I can’t believe that he’s lecturing a young athlete on how he should properly show sartorial respect to an awards show meant to honor a cable sports network. It’s the ESPYs; not a state funeral. This is an awards show about how great it was when DeAngelo Hall intercepted four passes in one game against Jay Cutler. The biggest news generated at said event was when a World Series-winning pitcher showed up in a spandex tuxedo. It was the 421st most-viewed cable show of the week. I’m pretty sure JaVale McGee respected it just fine.

And it’s Bieber. Bieber. I before e except after God what’s happened to my career?