Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Monday, May 30, 2011

Hmmmm

I need to start reading more often. My staying in Korea (though only a mere month has passed), and the resulting zero-use of English besides on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and Blogger, has seemingly diminished (you see, I had to search "improve" on Thesaurus.com and find the antonym to improve) my English skills, depth of vocabulary and resultantly my writing abilities. Shameful. A shamble! Nonsense.

Anyhow, I need to get myself together. My life hangs on a cliff right now: Failure again versus Getting back on my feet.

Trust in God and only in Him. He has a plan for you, so just drop every selfish intention and desire, and simply WORK HARD. Working hard only for God, only to please him and to make him proud, shall motivate you, shall only be what you desire!

So. Don't be a lazy slob. Pray seek work play sleep~! ^^

And on my behalf I'd like to apologize to myself for this post's the extremely corny, self-motivational nature. But it can't be helped. I keep inching closer and closer to the bottom, at a rate that soon I may even* fall past the bottom, only to trap and bury myself well into the earth's core. COOL.

NOT.

*ugh grammar all weird

So, here's your plan of attack.

6 AM Wake up

Wash

Breakfast (fruits and eggs)

QT (Reading New Testament-straight)

~7:30 AM Gym for 30 minutes

Shower

~8:30 AM Read for an hour

~9:30 Walk to library (take something to eat)

Work, work, work!

(In this case: essays, school things, job search!)

~9 PM Play

~10 PM Walk home

11 PMSleep

Weight loss:

1. Limit intake to 1000 calories

2. No breads, pastas, etc.

Senior year- a reminder:

December- 140 lbs

April- 126 lbs

June- 120 lbs

September- 105 lbs

Goal (beginning of the month):

April '11- 132 lbs

May- 128 lbs; -2 lbs/week

July- 120 lbs; -2 lbs/ week

August- 110 lbs; -1 lb/ week

September- 105 lbs; -1 lb/ week

October- 100 lbs; -1 lb/ week

November- 95 lbs: SUCCESS! :)

Follow through, take responsibility for your words to be someone trustworthy.

01. weird things you do when you’re alone: wear my mom's clothes and pose in the mirror and attempt to dance like im hot stuff like hot sexy kpop girl idols
02. how have you changed in the past two years? motivation passion hope faith excitement- gone.
03. what kind of person attracts you- charismatic, handsome, well-groomed and well-dressed, boyish, sweet
04. what you wear to bed- boyfriend tee and undies
05. 5 things that irritate you about the opposite/same sex- hm. i can't generalize. sometimes some girls can get a bit catty; seriously annoying.
06. The person you like and why you like him: he's charismatic, handsome, well-groomed and well-dressed, boyish, sweet, caring
07. your opinion on cheating on people- it's unfair
08. something you’re currently worrying about- life's pretty much at stake
09. your last kiss- sigh.
10. your views on drugs and alcohol- bad, and bad. but the latter i enjoy.
11. your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is- lonely ig, but i'd rather wait for the right person judging from my past four relationships.
12. things you want to say to an ex- 1. you're a nice guy, i was a b to you. 2. you are a dick. 3. yeah.. we should have only ever been friends. 4. i miss you, i wish we couldve gotten closer as friends. maybe i even regret breaking up with you at all.
13. a date you would love to go on- to a hidden lake at night. hm it didnt sound as creepy in my head.
14. something disgusting you do- fart
15. the best thing to happen to you this week- made new friends, went to the coffee shop, girl talk.
16. 3 things you are proud of about your personality- pretty nice/loving, 털털해, not a catty bitch. most the time
17. things that make you scared- failure, looking like a joke, being someone that others can't take seriously. kind of like my life right now.
18. disrespecting parents- grow the fuck up
19. something that never fails to make you feel better- m'boyyyy, debbie, hanfish, and b2st youtube videos. and whose line is it anyway.
20. the last argument you had- was useless and annoying.
21. something you can’t seem to get over- this guy. and that my life is a failure at the moment.

My stomach aches, I want to throw up, I wish to bury myself in loose clothes and my warm, soft, comfortable bed with a cup of earl gray and the television turned to Fashion N or O'live playing 여배우 하우스 or 내마음이 들리니; I want to scream from the agony and pain my inability to pour out eloquent phrases and brilliant, tastefully organized ideas gives me right now; this cold library and dreary, wet weather drains the energy out of me on top of the motion sickness the third floor view of the highway's ongoing traffic outside gives me. FUCKING A. AND THIS COFFEE MAKES ME SICK.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

2nd grade in America, back from Korea and again lacking in language skills compared to my peers; I wanted to fit in. Every week a student in the class made a poster dedicated to him/herself, and tied to the poster’s bottom hung the implicitly obligatory row of candy bars, glistening against the ceiling’s fluorescent lighting, the students quietly anticipating the presenter’s conclusion so at long last the awaiting mob can rip the snickers off the poster and melt under its chocolate, sugary satisfaction.Carried away with my love for over dramatizing everything to its very last detail.Smh.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I love the Fashion N channel in Korea!
Anyways... I went to church today where I unfortunately had to overcome my fear of going into the youth/college service instead of just sticking safely next to my parents for the adult service and while I can't say much about the service itself, the small bible study afterwards made me think about reading my devotionals again.

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About Me

Portrait of a Young Restless Imaginative College Student :p
I love all things beautiful and innovative, namely, clothing, design, line structures, illustration, paintings. I guess.. this is my account of the extreme growing pains that I'm going through at the moment, trying to focus my life towards the three anchors in my life- God, my family and friends, and finally, my unending curiosity and infatuation with art and design.
"...An unfair society is a society that makes it possible for you to exploit your abilities to the limit." —Nagasawa from Norwegian Wood (Murakami)