Sunday, 2 May 2010

so im lay on the sofa after demolishing 2 bowls of cereal .. id already munched my way through a full English when i clocked off work this morning. my second job was supposed to be keeping me busy and my attention off food. but when your walking through town at 7am and your walking past cafe's and coffee shops ; its cold outside so you think a quick stop warm myself on a mug of coffee and the fat biaaaaaatch inside you just cant say NO !!! you end up ordering the fattest thing they have to offer - and you dont eevn throw it up because the thought of bacon and sausage's coming back up seems like so much effort , and there is only 1 toilet !!! arrrrrrrrrrh !!

i got home hopped on the scales and was completely disappointed that iv gained 4lbs this week . hardly surprising is it if you consider my behaviour today. i must admit my BIG EAT days are becoming more and more of a habit. Fuck knows what I'm thanking , i dont get anything from the episodes apart from extra pounds. i always feel dissatisfied once iv had a big eat . i need t start punishing myself. a punch to the stomach maybe - may possibly result in me throwing up ha! result - double points. JUST KIDDIN ( you shouldn't be fuuuuuucking eating anyways you fat fuck !!!!!!! )

another depressing point that i want to add relates to my period ??? I find my self in a constant repetition , a cycle (obviously) but like im trapped on a Merry round or something. My body is constantly revolving itself around my period. I get cravings for chocolate and fatty foods 8n the week leading up to my period , sometimes results in huge binges then during my actually period my body swells almost another dress size. My butt is chunky my boobs are bigger my hips look like somebody has just sewed sand bags on each side and my stomach pops out. I weigh between 5 and 7 lbs more than i usually do while im on my period. The week after i spend my time shrinking backto the usual size and can relax for a couple of days and the the cravings start and the road to nowhere suddenly starrs again !! AM I FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE HERE OR WHAT????? I CANT DEAL !!!!!!!!!

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About Me

Sometimes I feel like
Throwing my hands up in the air, I know I can count on you. Sometimes I feel like saying 'Lord I just don't care' But you've got the love I need To see me through
Sometimes it seems that
The going is just too rough
And things go wrong
No matter what I do.
Now and then I feel
That life is just too much
But you've got the love
I need to see me through

Blog Archive

Tips & Tricks ... Xx

Taken From Jade Her Pro-Ana Lifestyle*Take vitamin B6 and B12 supplements, they speed up your metabolism like none other * Purge in the shower, or in the sink when your music is playing. * If your about to binge, chew some gum, and think of yourself what obese people look like * Drink a glass of water every hour * Eat one meal everyday, this will help to prevent binge cravings * Take caffeine tablets * Smoke when you feel hungry * If you are craving food, brush your teeth * Eat gum all day * Sleep at least six hours a night, less than 6 hours stimulates appetite by 15% * Whenyou sit, move your foot or something, every cal counts! * Tell everyone you're allergic to some foods * Hit your stomach when it's grumbling * Never eat when people are around * Associate food with feeling sick * Never eat anything that doesn't have nutrition labels * Save one dollar for every meal you don't eat, then buy yourself a non food present * Take a bath * Always take your vitamins * Know when your trigger binge time is and avoid it * Drink water in stead of eating * Watch fat people eat, and see how disgusting they are * Listen loud music and sing/scream * Spinning yourself in circels decreases hunger

Taken From La Petite Princess *eat smart. Eating 800 cal worth of cake is way way different then eating 800 cal worth of fruits, veggies, etc. Fruits are actually not all that great for you- although the sugar is natural, it is still sugar. So, stick to two or so a day. Make sure to get some whole grains!!! I eat only only only whole grain breads and cereal- Total Whole Grain is great because it has plenty of vitamins to make your body use up more energy during the day, and the whole grain factor. Whole grains make you feel full, provide for better skin and better stomach function. I eat it with low fat yogurt- also very important to get dairy. That's for skin and hair also. Having a low cal diet you need to watch out so that all your hair does not fall out. Yogurt is much healthier than milk. Also, check out wasa whole grain crispbreads- thats the most whole grain per calorie you will ever find

Thin Comandments

1) If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive2) Being thin is more important than being healthy3) You must but clotes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner4) Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty5) Thou shall not eat fattening food withoud punishing afterwards6) Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly7) What the scale says is the most important thing8) Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad9) You can never be to thin10) Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and succes.

Stats ...

I have removed last years stats and away we go , fresh brand new start. new attitude , new plans , same goal - THIN !Age : 26