Do you,
Kurt Cobain,
take Courtney Michelle Love
to be your Lawful shredded

wife even when she's a

bitch with zits and
siphoning all yr money

for Doping and whoring

It's an incredibly different message than that of his "official" suicide note, which was read aloud by Courtney Love during Kurt's wake in April of 1994, parts of which read "I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy" and "Please keep going for Courtney." It has been insinuated by many that Courtney had a hand in the murder of Kurt Cobain. The handwriting on the latter half of the original note does not match Kurt's handwriting and instead matches Courtney's handwriting.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

There's also the persistent theory that Kurt had so much heroin in his system that he wouldn't have been able to pull the trigger — Kurt had 1.52mg of heroin per liter of blood in his body, according to autopsy reports. This suggests that the original dose that Kurt supposedly took would have been over the median amount of heroin in a lethal dose, around 225mg. Kurt was 5'10" and a frail 135lbs at time of death, a good 20lbs under the average weight of a 27 year old man of his height.

More From Esquire

I can't say for certain whether Courtney killed Kurt (although if you were to meet me in a bar outside of work and suggest it to me I would agree with you). It seems that – if she did it – that she pulled off the perfect crime for 20 years and then simply forgot to do something as simple as check his wallet. But perhaps Kurt – who was getting ready to record a new album at the time of his death and to many did not appear suicidal – really did want to kill himself. In which case, the real suicide note (and startling insight into his marriage at the time of his death) has been there all along, unearthed after over 20 years.

For someone who wrote so passionately about teenage angst, this small closure, some 20 years down the line, pays off well.