regrets

I hate the feeling of regret, I try and live my life with as little regret as possible. I like to believe that the decisions I have made throughout my life have been the right ones. I mean… they have brought me to the place I am now.. so clearly I’m doing something right.

But the thing is… sometimes the feeling of regret just happens, it comes out of nowhere when it shouldn’t.

should’ve, could’ve, would’ve….

regrets & mistakes they’re memories made – Adele

Now here’s the thing, when I feel this simmering of regret below the surface that I’ve recently been feeling it makes me feel really… guilty almost, spoiled in a way. The regret I’m feeling is based on the fact that I’m soon leaving Barcelona, Spain, Europe and I feel itchy in a way, almost as if I didn’t do enough… Really my regret is that I didn’t do more.

And here’s the thing, while yes I could have done more, but the reality is I am lucky enough to have gotten the chance, the opportunity to live in Europe for 2 years. I have absolutely nothing to be complaining about, I am so lucky to have gotten this opportunity to live here, I was able to do so much more than I ever thought possible. At the end of the day I did alot, nothing to regret… and yet….

The reason I’ve been feeling all this regret, like I’m leaving so much undone *i think* is because I’m struggling with the idea of letting go, the idea of leaving Europe. I feel like once I leave this place, the opportunity to travel, to explore will be lost in a way… and I’m not quite ready to let go. ( the future freaks me out )

These feelings of regret are totally an internal struggle, a battle between what I’ve done and what I could’ve done… but at the end of the day when I look back, I really am happy with the path that I chose.

37 thoughts on “regrets”

Spain is really like that , you always feel that you could have done more. I just spent 10 days there in 2011. You are lucky to have spent 2 years. If you leave something to do, you always have the chance to go back. 🙂

“…feelings of regret are totally an internal struggle, a battle between what I’ve done and what I could’ve done…” I struggle with this too, so much… I think it’s also a lot harder for our generation than it was for our parents’ too, because it feels like so much more is expected of us!

yes i think a lot of people our age struggle with this. I think partially it’s because a lot of expected of us, but also we are plugged in all the time, we’re able to see all these opportunities… or all these possible things we COULD be doing. and sometimes it’s hard to not get caught up in it

It’s so hard to live without regrets. I always think about how I should I have spent my mere 7 months in Barcelona. Thanks for sharing, and it’s great to hear to that you loved your time in Spain so much!

Barcelona is an amazing city, we were both lucky to experience the magic of the city. It’s a city that offers so much, so it’s hard not to regret doing every little thing, but at the same time we’re lucky enough to have lived here… no matter how long or short

Yes you have the right mentality. I too have the same feelings about regret. Be proud of your accomplishments! do be scared of leaving Europe. If it’s meant to be, I’m sure you’ll return there for more adventures. Enjoy every last moment!

I kind of know what you mean by not having done more. It’s such a disappointing feeling, and I feel like that when I leave some of the places I’ve travelled to. Like I should have done more, I could have done more, why didn’t I do more. But I guess it’ll never be enough. And that’s the great and beautiful tragedy of travel. The only solace I find in moments like this is, okay, I’ll come back. I have a reason to come back. So don’t worry. When you visit Barcelona again, you won’t be a stranger to it but you’ll still have so much to do and see. And you’ll go back with unrivalled memories.

yes, I totally agree… you always want to do more… but if we truly did everything we wanted to do there would really not be enough time. It’s a hard, not to look back and think what you could have done differently.. but if there is something you truly want to return to, it’s there to return to 🙂

I think that is a common feeling. I always feel that way when leaving a place, but remember there are always new opportunities and new experiences to be had and just because you’re leaving Spain now doesn’t mean your adventuring days are over. It only means you are starting fresh with the ability to look for new adventures.

I know the feeling. I just did the EXACT same thing(but from Germany), and now I’m on the other side. That is, in fact, what my blog is about.`

That being said, we are the same age and have had nearly the same life path (it was an awesome start, huh?!), so any time feel free to drop me a line on my blog or on IG (@jessidevenyns). Always happy to chat because the adjustment will be shocking.

hey! i would love to chat with you, I recently read your post on the job hunt as a returned expat and really enjoyed it! (feel free to send a message to my e-mail theconfessionsofawanderer@gmail.com) I would love to hear from you!
Sam

I am also leaving Europe soon too. I leave at the beginning of July. I’ve been studying here in the Netherlands. I too am filled with some regrets, “I wish I could have done more” etc etc. But at the end of the day you did what made YOU happy and that’s what matters. Chin up, you can do this 🙂

Hey Sam, your post couldn’t have been better timed to coincide with my internal struggle. Like you, my wife and I are leaving London (Europe), heading back to the Southern Hemisphere of Australia. While I have no regrets, I do feel like there is a lot more to see, do, eat, smell. But, you and I are both young (even if I am 10 years senior of you). While the world might not always be there, I am sure we all will keep finding things to explore until the day we shut our eyes. I know my whole premise is Fear of Missing Out, but if I didn’t have the fear (or in your case regret), I will possibly not have the drive to see more, do more, be more.

Yes, I think in a way this feeling of regret is a good thing because as you said, it means that we want to do more to see more. Those feelings will encourage us in the future to do more, to see more and just explore. I look forward to reading your blog & good luck with your move back !

I feel you. This was my feeling when I left China, a deep regret about all he things I didn’t manage to do. Feeling guilty about it sucks. But in a way, isn’t this subtle, never-ending dissatisfaction part of the push we have in doing things? I think so.