ALL FUCKED UP...

ME AND MY EX HAVE BEEN DATING ON AND OFF FOR ABOUT FIVE YRS... WE JUST CANT SEEM TO GET ALONE AT ALL AND I HAVE ALOT OF TRUST ISSUES WIT HIM BECAUSE OF HIS PAST WEN WE WERE YOUNGER... HE DID ALOT OF CHEATING AND OF COURSE I STAYED WIT HIM BECAUSE OF THOSE TWO WORDS "I LOVE YOU".... SO NOW WE ARE VERY ATTACHED TO EACH OTHA AND CANT LET GO... WE HAVE ARGUMENTS AND I SAY OR HE SAYS LETS JUST BE FRIENDS... OF COURSE THAT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE AS SOON AS WE GET ALONE TOGETHER WE HAVE SEX AND THE FEELINGS JUST GET STRONGER... IDK WAT TO DO BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHA TO MUCH AND WE ALWAYS SAY LETS BE FRIENDS BUT SOME HOW IN OUR LIL WAY GET BACK TOGETHER... RECENTLY WE REALLY GOT INTO IT AND SO I DECIDED TO TRY SOMETHIN NEW TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF HIM... I STARTED TALKIN TO OTHA DUDES AND IT FELT GREAT IT WAS A BIG STESS RELIEVER.... BUT AS SOON AS HE FIND OUT AND NOTICED HOW I WASNT PAYING HIM THAT MUCH ATTENTION HE GOT JEALOUS AND SAYS HE WANT ME OUT HIS LIFE AS A GIRLFRIEND AND JUST IN HIS LIFE AS A FRIEND... SO I SAID OK WHEN REALLY I MEANT NO... I JUST CANT HELP MYSELF IM CRAZY IN LOVE WITH HIM ITS BEEN 5 LONG YRS WE WILL NEVER STOP TALKIN UNLESS WE REALLY CUT EACH OTHA OUT OUR LIVES MEANIING NO TEXTIN OR PHONE CALLS OR HOUSE VISITS.... SO IM JUST ALL FUCKED UP AND DONT NO WAT T DO I MEAN I DO NO BUT ITS HARD BECASUE WE LVE EACH OTHA SO MUCH.....