Well, folks. I’ve decided to hang up my hat over here. This blog has been like a dear friend that would listen to me day in and day out. I’m really sad to leave this little space of interweb behind. (totally made up the interweb word … gotta love it)

Truthfully, most of my hits over here result from medical school drop out searches. And while I’m happy to offer a ray of sunshine to those who have depressing stories similar to my own, I’ve become overwhelmed with the daily e-mails. I never set out to become the patron saint of medical school dropouts.

In order to move forward with my life,

This blog will remain online until I have time to collect the stories and comments into a book for our family to read and remember. However, I do plan to take it down, once I’ve accomplished that feat.

It’s been an honor to share my journey with you so far. I look forward to many more stories together in the future.

Life feels a little bit overwhelming. There’s just so much going on right now. At school I just got some awesome new equipment that makes me love teaching again. I’m swamped in a good way with wedding photos to edit for my photography business. At home we’re still wading through the terribly dramatic twos. My sister’s getting married soon. Sometimes I feel a little bit dizzy from everything -like that feeling of spinning around until the world looks like a blur. It’s a happy but stressful way to live. The days just sort of blur together.

So I’ve been trying to step back from the chaos. Bri and I have been going for bike rides after school. Hubster and I have been chilling on the couch when I would normally be absorbed by the computer. And I’ve made an effort to reconnect with my girl friends. It’s been so nice to slow down again and enjoy life.

Tonight Bri took a thirty minute long bath. She loves to be in the water. It’s so hard to get her out of the tub. One of her favorite things to do is to put soapy bubbles on her face and say, “Look Mommy. I’m like Santa Claus. Ho ho ho!” It cracks me up EVERY time.

After her bath, we brushed her teeth and dried her hair. Then she scampered around finding a doll to sleep with (she really wanted to sleep with a wooden piece of pizza from her toy kitchen.)

We said bedtime prayers. I prayed for her to grow up healthy and strong with a heart for the Lord. I also prayed for her future husband, that he would grow up healthy, strong and passionate for God too. (You can’t start too early. ;o) Then she said the prayer we’ve taught her to say. “Dear God, I love you. Please help me to be a good girl. And please bless … Mimi, Gampa, Nana, Poppy, Mommy, Daddy, Missa, Josh, Aunt Beth, Lunton, Aunt Holly …” that list gets longer every night it seems!

After bedtime prayers we trade kisses. She’s learned how to make the smacking noise in the kiss and I love it! She giggles when she gets that one right. I leaned in close until our noses bumped. “Good night sweetie. I love you. You’re my favorite kiddo.”

As I pulled away she clapped her hands around my cheeks and pulled my face close again. “You’re my favorite kiddo Mommy. I love you too.”

And then my heart melted into a puddle on the floor. I love being a Mommy.

My love for blogging seems to ebb and flow. Some months, I can find a story or a picture to share every day. Other months find me ducking in to share a quick anecdote and a picture. That’s the way I roll. I’m not apologizing for it, or anything.

But sometimes, after lurking on other blogs instead of writing my own, I find that I’ve lost my voice. That hasn’t been too much of a problem here, but on my professional blog, I am suffering from a major case of laryngitis. I find that I either repeat myself over there and just repost things from this blog, or I agonize for hours over what to type. It’s so hard to just let go and throw my personality into it.

I wonder if this is what it’s like to be shy.

Our darling Bri has been growing up during my long silences over here. She’s such a big girl now. Today we went to the mall with my assistant for practice shooting. Before we left, I packed the diaper bag with her sippy cup and some treats. Then I left it on the counter and marched right out the door! Brilliant! Luckily we keep spare diapers in the van, so all I had to make up for were the forgotten treats. Bri surprised me by using the straw correctly on her juice box. I didn’t know she could do that by herself now! Usually she makes a huge mess by squirting juice everywhere.

She also surprised me by climbing up the flower slide all by herself several times on the playscape. Usually she asks for help, but today she figured out how to do it all by herself.

We were delighted to discover that the pretzel shop was giving away free pretzels in the food court. And even though we got booted from Sephora (because I asked if we could take some pictures – harrumph – didn’t even get to take the lens cap off in the store) it’s pretty safe to say that all three of us girls had a marvelous time.

Bri still says cute little things that I hope I’ll never forget. She likes to say Mumby instead of Mommy and at night when we draw up her bath she asks us to “put bubbles known it.” We have a plethora of baby dolls that she adores. Her most recent treasure came from her Daddy for Valentine’s Day.

We were all sick last weekend and didn’t get to celebrate. So Thursday afternoon, when we arrived home from school, Hubs had a vase full of roses and a new Dora doll on the kitchen table for us. He’d also cleaned the house and bought me dark chocolate. Each of us had a sweet card with his love to us. It was so much more special than the expected commercial holiday! We loved it!

Bridoodle received this adorable kilt from her aunt M and uncle J for Christmas. They lived in Scotland for a year as missionaries and brought this home for a present. Today, she rocked it out in the church nursery.

Her favorite lovey these days, Baby, gets to travel everywhere with her. We take Baby to daycare every day and to church. (Although this morning I forgot to grab Baby on the way out the door and since church had already started before I’d finished buckling Bri into her safety harness, I didn’t go back. I think the whole neighborhood could hear the wails for “BAAAAAAAAYBEEEEEEEE” on the way to church.)

After church, I wanted to grab some pictures of Bri in her new kilt, so she and Baby modeled for me. Baby’s pretty good at sitting still. Bri – not so much. She did enjoy showing Baby the view from our window.

Then she hopped down from the couch and brought a favorite DVD over to me. “Watch Elmo Burthday?” She tilted her head and batted her eyelashes at me. I snapped the camera a few times hoping to catch that expression. She turned away annoyed and marched over to the DVD player. Then she pushed the open button, removed the current DVD and put her Elmo Birthday DVD in the slot. I sat there open mouthed before I realized that I should take a picture. (Hello? Nobody would believe this otherwise!)

She was so proud of herself. And so was I. My baby girl is growing up!