Category: tools

I had a conversation recently with a colleague, and we acknowledged how good we are both feeling, and that it feels like we have finally pulled through something. I can’t even begin to explain this, it is wonderful! It is extremely wonderful to finally feel SO good!

I feel filled with anticipation for the time ahead. I don’t know exactly what this is, but I can feel it, I have intentions, there are conversations – and if these represent what is coming, it’s going to be amazing! We’re talking road trips, travel, health, empowerment and location independence with love by my side.

But yesterday, I came home from work, and needed to rest, I felt depleted.

When I got to my room, short of falling asleep, I was drawn to meditate. I needed to clear the hectic energy I’d picked up from the store. A few minutes into it, I felt really bleeeehhh, heavy, nauseous, like I was processing something heavy. But because I know how good I’ve been feeling, I KNEW this wasn’t mine to process. I tuned in a little more, and it became apparent I’d picked up some filthy entity along the way, that jumped on for a ride. Bleeeeehhh! I demanded it leave immediately, making way for it to leave with light, an abundance of sage and intention. Filthy Fucker! Excuse me – but it was disgusting! This is not the first time I have cleared an entity from my being, but maybe one of the first that has felt so yuck.

It really reminds me the importance of energetic self care, and how we need to come to know our own energy, so that we don’t allow these entities to jump aboard for free rides.

What this shows up as, is feeling less than our bright shiny selves. It might make us feel bad, uncomfortable, emotional, unmotivated, and not even know why?

So I cleared that filthy fucker and immediately began to express audible sighs of relief as I returned to my feeling good buzz.

So this leads onto the topic of energetic self care, a present one with friends.

It took me a long time to build my energetic self awareness. I had to deal with the discomfort of supermarkets and malls, of demanding customers and students – and multiple uncomfortable conversations. I had to integrate my learnt communication skills to protect myself moment to moment. That coupled with a meditation practice, showed me my inner landscape. It took time. I liken it to running a marathon. You can’t run a marathon without first training for one. You start slowly, building up your cardiovascular fitness and endurance. You have a training programme that supports you in getting there.

The same goes for building your energetic self awareness, you have to start with the first step of training. Haha – I just had an image of Mr Miyagi in Karate Kid.

The most necessary first step I’d suggest is;

Start a Meditation Practice

Come to know your inner landscape – your innermost thoughts and how your energy sits within (and around) your physical body. If it is new to you, perhaps start with 5 minutes per day and build up your consistency.
– Let go of any agenda you may have.
– Give yourself permission to be, and for everything to be perfect as it is.
– Focus on your breath – watch your inhalation and exhalation.

Acknowledge any and all fears or blocks you may have from starting your practice. Anything preconceived ideas about how you think it should be. It will be perfect exactly how it is. We don’t pre-plan a conversation with a friend or colleague beforehand, it unfolds beautiful in the very moment it is happening. Meditation is the same. Just start and breathe.

As you come to know your inner landscape, you know more clearly if something in your energy field feels off. Usually by shear awareness of that energy within your field, you can clear it. By your focus and intention, by your breath. Even if you’re unsure, ask yourself, “is this mine?” It generally leaves if it’s not. Send it off to the light and maybe give yourself a little sage or Palo.

Every morning it is natural for me to check in with myself and feel where my energy is at, how it feels.
When it’s super funky and foggy, I put out a tool from my tool kit and apply it to increase my good feels.
This one is from an awesome man you may know – Wim Hof.

You know when you wake up in the morning (feeling like P Diddy), and you’re present to some funk. Not the dance kind, but the energetic kind.
Sometimes you sit with it, sometimes you can move it.
In this video I share a little of my funk and remind you how you can simply ask it what it needs. Simple right? Ya – I thought so too.

Language is powerful, words can change your life. They have the capacity to tear a person down, or build them up.

Words illustrate how someone feels about them self, their beliefs in life, their fears, conditioning, patterns that play out, just to name a few.

Here are 3 examples from a sea of many;

1. TRY (in the context of a commitment to a task or goal)
I consider the word try, to be a swear word – actually that’s really just something I heard elsewhere, but it stuck. If someone says they will ‘try’ to do xyz, be sure that they are not 100% committed to the outcome.
There is either CAN or CANNOT – there is no try. Try is a cop out of a word that means you don’t have the integrity to say yes or no and own your commitment completely.
Notice WHY you might not want to commit to a solid CAN or CANNOT. Build your integrity by communicating any resistance you might have.

2. SORRY
The word sorry, usually learnt through conditioning. Have you noticed how often you say sorry? Why do you say it, and do you really mean it.
It is way over used and used far to inappropriately.
Dig a little further and ask WHY you or others use it. The initial answer may be ‘I don’t know’, but dig behind that.
Often it can represent a fear we have for getting in the way or feeling like we aren’t enough.
Challenge yourself to not say it when you usually would. What comes up for you?

3. Think vs Feel
When listening to your response, or another’s response to a question or conversation. Note whether you say “I think, or I feel” as the starting sentence. When we say Think – it usually means our answer comes from the head with something we already know or think we know. When we say Feel – it usually means our answer has come from within our heart or body.
Depending on the context of the conversation – our response can denote where our answer has come from and the potential truth of it. Our bodies never lie. Our heads are pretty practiced at it.

Neither is right or wrong, just all lessons to enhance our listening skills and be open exploration.

For further tools to support exploration of your words and thoughts, read Transform Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life available here.

Last week, I had such an amazing, joyful time here in Mongan Village. The sun shone, I walked the dogs, I saw a client, I held a group discussion – it felt really really good. This week, it has rained constantly.

No clients so far, dogs with cabin fever and my inner landscape feeling rather meeh. I’m dedicated to digging into my tool kit when I feel this way, I know that afterwards I tend to feel great again.

Today’s’ tool are were a mixture of walking feet on the earth, Wim Hofs breathing technique, Balinese Water Blessing and a Chakra Meditation. These generally completely shift my energy and have me looking through new lenses, but today I’ve done these and I’m back under the doona in bed, watching the continuous rain. There is nothing more, (internally) that I can do.

I’m not complaining, in fact, I think I’m pretty bloody lucky to have the available time and space to indulge in the inner workings of my mind, not everyone has, or makes this a priority. I think it’s that I have learnt to, and really, what else do I have?

Today, I don’t have kids, a partner, a house that needs tending to, there is no oven I can bake in, I don’t live near my family/friends so I can visit, the dogs have had their walk in the pause of the rain. I really am this free spirit that is at the command of the universe.

And this, has been my unfolding lesson for this duration of time in Bali. Learn to surrender, let go and trust that I am supported. At times, my head wonders – “what the fuck do you have in store for me”? I mean, I sit here now reflecting on my current life, and it looks like a baron wasteland. Rather like these freshly harvested rice fields. All the abundance has been cut and packaged up for sale, what is left is the hay like debris ready to be set alight as soon as these rains cease. This is me.

Ubud feels like it is closing up for me. All the friends that I’ve made over this past 1.5 years have departed, back to their home soil. Maybe one or two friends remain, but the foundations are beginning to shake. You know when a chapter ends, you know it has ended, so why recreate a new one that looks the same, because it won’t be the same, it never will be, and there will only be disappointment. No, it’s time to move on. Time for something new to be born.

Except, the new is not yet visible. The phoenix has not yet risen from the ashes. There are no ashes, it’s still bloody raining, so they can’t light the fire. It’s grey, dreary, wet, heavy, slow, there’s no movement right now.

A bubble of past, present, unknown future is percolating, mixing itself with each other, so nothing really makes any sense. The beauty of this is in the witness of it, and of the trusting of natures unfolding that nothing stays the same, and it won’t.

There hasn’t been much inspiration for blogging recently, I’ve been knee deep in emotional healing, loving my Inner Child, much to the disappointment of my inner ‘get things done’ self. Apparently now is a time of deep inner healing, as reflected to me by my healer friend.

There’s been resistance with the acceptance of this, I mean, I am in the perfect place to be healing, but seriously, how long does one have to heal for – can I get on with the show already? Am I right?

It feels as though this year has been relentless in the pursuit of healing. The whole of 2016! In numerology this year is a 9 year, a year of endings. 2+0+1+6=9. Representing the ending of a 8/9 year cycle, and I tell you what, these numbers aren’t lying. This last year feels like it has been dying a slow death, like the transition of seasons from fall to winter – but longer.

After spending 8.5 months in a Silent Retreat, 2.5 in Ubud – I feel like physically, I have not achieved one thing. Sure, there may be a few blog posts to show, pages and pages of scribbled journaling’s – most of which are ash by now. I have 2 suitcases filled with my belongings & have accumulated one beautiful gifted wooden Ganesha representative of destroying my obstacles. Sounds like a pretty clean simple year no?

Internally it looks like the Sahara desert, intuitively I feel endless rolling hills of cleared debris & destruction. You can’t see my inner landscape, I can’t prove to you how much inner work I’ve done. We cannot sit and compare notes and graphs about who’s inner work is going to have the biggest return on investment, because this shit can’t be seen. When times like this in life present, (and yes I say times like this, as this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this), it is so easy to forget that life exists outside of the inner destruction that has occurred.

I forget that there IS a life of dreams and desires, of the world’s greatest riches. I forget that there are manifestations of unknown awaiting my rebirth into the world. I forget that there is a sea of possibility just begging me to grab a hold of it with both hands. I forget that I am a valued being on this planet and another voice for Mother Earth. I forget. I am lost in my inner Star Wars Movie – the battle of the dark side against the light.

This recent battle is just about over. One that has invited my inner teenager with all her wounds, aches and pains. I was gifted a beautiful encounter with a gorgeous Balinese Man who’s smile was enough to make my heart melt, and it pretty much did. It has been about one full year since anyone had looked at me, so to feel my butterflies dance in my tummy was a strange, but exciting feeling – I decided to explore it. Why not?

Edges were met & my fears emerged, I didn’t know whether to let the whole thing go and continue to protect my precious heart, or to open and expand despite these fears. A trip back to the Silent Retreat and a deep dig towards some inner courage saw me return to Ubud lighter and ready to explore.

My heart was opened again and I felt as vulnerable as a fresh teenager rich with new hormones. She was out in full force. The beauty of this relationship was a test of this vulnerable part of myself – would she seek fulfillment in another, or would I (adult Heidi) rise to the challenge and be there to catch her – to meet her needs.

Heart open, arms wide, I was there to catch her, there could be no other way, because he was not available, nor is it his job. His heart closed, encased behind walls of hurt & pain. She kicked & screamed and yelled at me for love, so show up for her did. Time spent laying on my bed, holding my heart, tears streaming, journaling & meditation to hold her tightly was all I could do from going crazy thinking about him.

An external force brought into my world to make me show up stronger than I ever have for myself. It’s been a good month of parenting myself, it has been wild & relentless. I am SO thankful to see who I am and understand how to care for me, to not throw myself at another in the vain ‘hope’ that he will give me what I needed to give myself.

The relationship has come to a close, and I am feeling a little more settled within my heart, aware of new lessons on the cusp. Trust & Intimacy… This inner work, really is akin to work – seriously! If there was a way to be paid for it, I would be onto the winning ticket.

Our relationships really are nothing but mirrors for us. Showing up to teach us the deepest parts of ourselves we have not yet met. It takes courage to engage in conscious relationships – that shit ain’t easy.

“the road can teach you how to love and let go, it can be lonely, but it’s the only thing, that we’ve ever known…”

Wash It Away
Nahko Bear

> If you’re needing support in gaining clarity around your Inner Child within relationships, contact me at me@heidifirth.com or Be Your Own Guru – Worldwide on Facebook.

Welcome to the first post in a series of Facebook/Blog Posts on a variety of topics to support you in aligning to the Guru that you are. Mondays topic is – You are what eat – Food & Nutrition – What should I be eating daily.

This is the first Monday that Be Your Own Guru has touched on this topic, and as I’m sure you are well to aware of, is a BIG one!

There is SO much information available to us, in fact it is overwhelming how much information there is.

Articles, research & blogs saying eat this, don’t eat this. Be Vegan, Eat Paleo – it’s any wonder the majority of people don’t know what to do and are seeking answers externally.

I witness a massive online demand from people in search of diet plans from Professionals. How can someone on the other side of the world, have the slightest idea what your body will need nutritionally, energetically & climately (yes I made up a word), yet takes your money in exchange for your loss of personal power? How are these ‘Professionals’ really aligned to health?

Food & Nutrition goes so much deeper than calories in & calories out. There are crucial elements such as where the meat was sourced, how it lived in harmony with the planet, what food it ate during it’s life cycle, if vegetables were grown in organic soil, what the farmers practices were in growing & harvesting, their transportation method & how long ago the produce was harvested before it was cooked.

Now I KNOW this is a lot of information to consider for one single meal, so there is absolutely no expectation to go out into your day and expect to follow all of this, let alone authentically care to know. We will expand slowly on these topics in the coming weeks. As with any area of our life, it takes learning to look at ourselves first, before we have the capacity to extend our thinking to others.

My food journey started with cleaning up my diet in preparation for a Body Building competition. Before that, I was a cardio junkie who ate carb dominant foods because I was also a sugar junkie hiding from her emotions. I had no connection to myself, only a one track mind that was focused on running harder & faster. (More on this in future posts). When my trainer told me to cut all sugar from my diet, I did – though I felt as though I had been hit by a train. There were no blog articles or Instagram feeds to teach me about detoxing effects.

Without going into my whole food story right now, the key ingredient I learnt over time, was to listen to what my body needed. Sure I did study & learn various tools, but essentially those tools supported me to attune with what I needed, and from there, it has evolved.
No one can or should tell you what your body needs, only you can do that. Once you tune into your innate knowing, you will live in harmony & balance with your body as only you can.

So the exercise…
Get your hands on a copy of the Metabolic Typing Diet by William Wolcotthttp://www.metabolictyping.com/
Within this book there is a questionnaire which will test your Metabolic Type.
From here, it will teach you what ratios of Protein, Carbohydrates & Fats to eat in each meal.

This will support in maintaining balanced blood sugar levels through your day which will offer optimal energy. No sugar peaks, or troughs bringing on cravings for more of the same.

In time, you will come to know your bodies messages, whether you needed more or less fats or proteins, if you’re really craving sugar or need to sit with the craving feeling and notice if it’s an emotional need.

I am SO riled up with frustration today – today’s topic – how will I make a difference in today’s world?

Yesterday I spent time with a dear friend & he is never shy to question my motives and intentions behind my drive for life.

It’s always wonderful to have someone pushing me forward and ensuring I’m aligning myself with my highest good, but what if it feels like absolutely nothing I’m doing is working or moving forward?

I really feel like this right now!

I feel so on my own. Usually a day is inspired by divine conversations, interactions that can guide me towards something, a creative task to fruition, but these past few weeks. I feel like I’m floating in the ethos of nothingness. What the fuck am I doing?

My past few blog posts have mirrored this topic. What the fuck is Heidi doing? I have a million tools and good intentions for the whole, but feel like I’ve no fucking idea what I’m doing, add to this my stress about my money situation. So which comes first? Focus on the things that will bring money in, or keep doing what I love – it feels like the dilemma of the era – with all the bright shinny things ‘out there’ – it’s so easy to be distracted by ‘what’s here’.

I can’t play the pretend game – pretending I have it all together – that I’m some wonderful successful online coach with clients lining up to work with me, earning 6/7 figures each month – it all seems so shallow & empty. Give me the truth god dammit! I need to be honest, I need to spill the beans and call a spade a spade. Who really knows what is going on here? I certainly don’t. I wish I had a small inkling of an idea. What this thing called life is all about. Even writing these words, having this word dump doesn’t feel like the right thing to share on my blog. Aren’t I meant to have it all together?

If I carry the title of Coach, Counselor & PT, aren’t I meant to know what’s going on? Perhaps this is something I’ve put on myself… that I should have it all together. I feel the further I go along this journey, the less idea I actually have. Walls & beliefs get knocked down, disassembled, blasted to smithereens. What is left is a field of peace, wonder, possibility which anything can be built upon. I tell you this field is amazing, but you wouldn’t believe unless you experienced it for your very own self.

I joined an online Affiliate Marketing gig because it truly felt like a piece of the puzzle, the tools, systems and the how – the how behind getting Be Your Own Guru online & moving – whatever that means.

Yet I watch the Facebook posts & messages stream along on FB Messenger (from said Marketing peeps) – they are rich with questions and banter about all the detail needed to understand the nuts and bolts behind the scenes of building an online business. How to derive followers, likers, leads etc.. The purpose of these equal sales and therefore money. Winning right?! Yes we need money – god knows we do – have a look at my bank account.

However in the next moment, I stumble upon a video of my Mentor – Paul Chek, talking about how the Earths Top Soil is akin to our own Digestive Systems. I get this so strongly – as within, so without. I witness the mass pollution accruing on this planet and understand that it is a direct result of each individual on this planet and our connection with our inner selves.

Online business details vs the reality of the Planet – my dilemma – the questions & feelings of frustration arise – What can I do? I experience deep frustration on a daily basis for not being able to DO ENOUGH! HOW! What can I do? Seriously – show me the fucking way! I have a greater awareness of what is going on here & I don’t know what to do with that information! Rgggghhh!

Meanwhile billions of people the world across are absolutely clueless to the impact they are creating, let alone what their neighbors are up too. How can we be in such a mess? It really breaks my heart, I cry & feel the pain of the world in my heart. How can my knowledge help the whole? How can I help the cause?

I just don’t know what to do. Even typing these words while I sit in a Café in Ubud drinking my coffee feels super privileged and hardly a step in the right direction. Though I know that I need to acknowledge my fire, I need to express my frustrations. Whether my words are read, whether they disappear into the abyss of yet another blog post online, what matters is that I wrote them. That I acknowledged my deep frustration with the state of the planet and the fact that I am SO ready to make difference.

I dance in periods of listening to my favorite artist Nahko Bear. When I’ve had time away from him, and return – his voice and message awakens my soul again – it resonates so deeply and for that moment in time I feel heard – I feel ok. His music reminds me that I’m not the only one. You see – I feel like I’m on my own here. Am I?

Are you reading these words?
Are you with me?
Do you care?
Can you see what is happening?
Do you know that the world needs you?
Are you aware of your daily actions and how they affect the world. Your trash, your purpose, your words, your energy, your ability to be in integrity with yourself. Speak your truth, be honest, be vulnerable. Do you understand how MUCH you contribute to this world? You are a part of everything – not separate at all.

You see this is what is needed first and foremost. We can’t change anything out there – without changing what is going on – in here <3.

This is what it comes back to, Being Your own Guru, if you are the creator of your life, taking responsibility for your words, actions, energy, moment to moment, we make the best choices for the planet.

Our food sources, the soil in which it was grown, our friends and neighbors and how much love and compassion we offer them. Everyone is fighting their own battles and they cannot be won on our own. We need to band together and offer support… But it starts with you – right now – looking at yourself.

If you’re ready to embark on the Guru’s journey, let’s do things OUR way… Let’s get our voices out loud and strong in integrity with our spirit and purpose. Let’s make a difference. I will walk with you, guiding you & offering support each step of the way. Join me in a personal capacity by messaging me, or join me professionally by following this link.