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Monday, July 27, 2009

Lessons Learned

God has taught me a lot over the years with a chronic illness. One of the things that I have learned is to be content with my health and physical limitations. It would be great to be able to walk a lot, climb, and run again, but there is much more to life than physical strength and energy. Besides, I really don’t have it so bad. There are people in the world who are more disabled than I, but don’t have anyone to take care of them. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, son, and family to help me. I have a wheelchair and a comfortable bed at night. Many people don’t have that.

I have learned that I need to embrace this life that God has given me, not simply be content with it. Because of what we have been through, God can use Will and me in ways that He couldn’t if my health were good.

I have learned that God has a plan and a purpose even in suffering. He can use my health problems for my good and for His glory. God is at work and He has a plan that is far better than anything we can imagine! There are things that God has taught me that I wouldn’t have learned were it not for what I’ve been through because of my health. Sometimes we have to take the painful road to learn, but if it brings us closer to God then it is worth every step of the way.

I have learned more about God’s sovereignty. Yes, God is sovereign and He could heal me if He chose to do so. However, since God is sovereign, He is under no obligation to heal me. He is God! He can do whatever pleases Him and brings Him glory. We often put God in a little box and think of Him as simply someone from Whom to ask favors. However, we need to keep in mind that God is so much bigger than we can understand. He is completely holy, all powerful, all knowing, and all wise. God is in control. He is not bound by time. He is above all. He is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory. God is also loving, patient, gracious and He longs to hear from His children. He wants us to pray to Him, but when we do, let’s not forget Who we are talking to! We are talking to the Maker and Sustainer of the Universe!

I have learned that I can trust God no matter what. There are a lot of unknowns that come along with living with dysautonomia. So far treatment hasn't produced any dramatic improvement in my health. Barring a miracle I will probably be disabled for the rest of my life. But that is okay. I want whatever God's will is for me. I want God to be glorified in my life whether I am sick or healthy. If living a life with a disability will bring the most glory to God, then so be it. After considering all He has done for me, suffering a little bit for a few years on earth is a small sacrifice to make. God made the ultimate sacrifice for me when He sent His Son to die on the cross. Jesus died a horrible death. The situation was not good, but God used it for great good - the salvation of all who believe!!! Jesus knows what suffering is. God knows what sacrifice is. I can certainly trust Him to know what He is doing in my life. It is worth following God and obeying Him at any cost.

47 comments:

AMEN Rachel! I found you via Emily @chatting at the sky and came over since you too are in Kentucky! Your blog post brought me to tears and WAS EXACTLY what I needed to read today. I've been having lots of pity parties lately and reading this really put it back into perspective for me. "It is worth following God and obeying him at any cost" Thankyou. SO true and a great reminder as to how I need to be living.Anne

Dear sweet Rachel, you don't know how much I needed to read this today. I have been really, really struggling this past week. Oh, every day is a struggle to be sure! However, this past week I have felt very, very defeated. I have felt so tired, exhausted, frustrated, depressed, sad, angry and guilty - ALL these things among others. I have felt like I absolutely could NOT possibly endure another day. I have cried a river and my heart still aches.

I have been SO very sick, sicker than usual, over the last three months. It has left my body and my mind so very tired and weak. I feel a very deep sense of guilt because of how much my sweet husband and daughters must sacrifice because of me. It is not just me who is suffering, they are suffering right along with me. I know they love me and that they sacrifice because they love me, but I still feel guilty. I am sad that our lives are so much different than they could be if I had not become sick. Then, when I think about that, it makes me angry. It becomes a vicious cycle that I'm sure most people with a chronic illness are familiar with.

So, I thank you so very much for reminding me that there are many, many people with disabilities who have it a lot worse than I do. At least I have an incredible husband and family who love me very much and are *willing* to sacrifice in order to take care of me. I have a nice home with a comfy recliner and bed to rest in. I have a nice wheelchair, too, that a truly wonderful friend paid for, in order to make it possible for me to venture outside my home on 'good days' or when I have to go to the doctor/hospital. We are blessed that my husband still has his job with great benefits, including awesome health insurance that his company pays for 100%! I am blessed that I was approved on the very first attempt when I applied for SSDI at the first of this year AND I received back pay for over a year.

I could list so many blessings that the Lord has bestowed upon my family and me. It is just so very hard to remember them when you feel so bad and are in pain every single day of your life.

Thanks for helping me to stop my pity party for today and start thinking about how truly blessed my family and I are. God is SO good ALL the time and He continues to bless us even when we can't see the blessing for the thorns.

Hello! I found your blog via Teresa's (Too Many Heartbeats) and I've read many of your entries in a single sitting today! I hope you don't mind but I quoted you on my facebook. the part about God knows sacrifice and Jesus knows suffering really lifted my spirits... actually all that I've read has! I appreciate people like you who I know suffers and struggles, but you give God the Glory!!! Thanks, Miranda

I loved reading this and seeing how you have listened to God and grown thru this experience. That is an amazing thing. Thank you for sharing your life with so many others in hopes that you can encourage and be a blessing to them!

Wow, lady, you are really bringing it. I have a daughter with a profound mental illness and I have been struggling for awhile now with my feelings about prayer, healing, God's will, and so on. Your post has helped me sort through it some. I appreciate it very much.

This quote from you post is so true, "I have learned that God has a plan and a purpose even in suffering." Sometimes we are not always aware of the reasons but there always is a reason and we just have to accept that in order to live life to it's fullest.

You are so right. God knows what he's doing, even if we can't understand. I'm so glad you have a greater understanding than most and are able to embrace the life that God has given to you. You are making a difference in many lives simply by sharing your story.

I am feeling ashamed. Ashamed at how I complain because my twins want to go outside and play with me and I'd rather get the house picked up or the laundry done. After I end this post...I'm going in and getting us all ready to go outside! Rachel....like I said in my last comment....YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION! Bless you

Amen!! This really jumped out: "We often put God in a little box and think of Him as simply someone from Whom to ask favors." That is so true! I love your positive thinking - like I (and so many others) have said, you truly are an inspiration! ((HUGZ!!))

I am so glad they featured you on SITS!!! Awesome!! You totally deserve it and I LOVE how YOU are bringing so much glory to God! Think of how many people will read this and see your testimony and be touched by your attitude! That is amazing!!! Awesome, awesome job! Be blessed!!!!

You have a lovely family, a lovely blog and a very lovely attitude! Your testimony has and will continue to bring glory to God. I trust that He will use this, your SITS day, to bring your positive voice to many, many more people.

Wow! And amen! Your post alone is amazing, but the comments that follow it are too. What a wonderful example you are to those who could be losing faith. And even more wonderful that you are sharing your faith and trust in God each and every day.

Wow. How strong you are in Christ. It is the essence of you and there is such power in that. Blessings upon you. I will tell my family about you tonight around the dinner table. You are an inspiration.

Amazing post and an amazing heart! God will use you, and has already! If we could all be so willing to accept WHATEVER He has for us and still praise Him! I'm looking forward to following your journey!