26 September 2010 – reminders and incentives

After yesterday’s sunshine today dawned overcast and cloudy. I spent the morning downloading some of my fat photos to the BL site in the spirit of full disclosure. Then I got Commando to take one of me holding up the jeans I used to wear when I was at my biggest. It’s hard to believe they used to be tight and now you could get me and Commando both in them!!! I’ve kept them so that I have a reminder of what I was and what I DO NOT want to go back to.

My eBay items ended today and I sold almost all my size 16 clothes which made me over £72. That will help out with all the money I have been spending on eBay to buy new size 12 clothes. Only six of the seventeen items didn’t sell and I’ve put them back on. Next week I also have some really nice jackets to put on as well so hopefully with what I sell and what I spend the balance will be fairly even. New wardrobe for next to nothing! YAY

I can hardly believe I’m looking for size 12. It seems really strange because not so very long ago I was looking for 18 and hoping I would be able to squeeze into them. With eBay I stick to makes I know so I know what their sizes are like. Even then sometimes things are not what you expect. For instance I got some Jasper Conran size 12 trousers as my old ones were too big and they were 14. When they came they were too small even though they’re the same make and style. There were two pairs and I have just put them away for when I lose a bit more. This is wheat’s called incentive to keep going. Usually I go for Jasper Conran, Pineapple, Ted Baker or Next because I know their sizes are usually ok.

Sometimes it feels as if this weight loss is all a dream and I keep expecting to wake up and I’ll be fat and all my clothes will be too small.