Frozen mania has officially taken over the United Kingdom and people are going freaking bananas with excitement. In fact, folks are so stoked, that a recent “doll shortage” of Frozen merchandise at incited a bidding war on the products. Don’t these people know that “Limited Edition” is usually just advertiser-speak for “Buy our over-priced crap NOW, suckers”? It’s a well-known sales method that anyone who’s ever watched Mad Men should be familiar with. Yes, there are only a hundred dolls in this particular product release, but trust me, a month from now you’ll be able to fill a cheap hotel swimming pool with these dumb things for less than the price of a VCR.

Yet according to The Daily Mail, posh U.K. parents have ended up paying up to three times the already-outrageous retail prices for the “Limited Edition” Elsa and Anna dolls and doll sets. And Harrods isn’t the only store cashing in on Frozen hysteria. The official U.K. Disney Store website has around 25 listings for Frozen merch, and eBay’s U.K. version has almost 40,000 (with more than 2,600 Elsa dolls alone). One ballsy eBay seller is asking $11,000 for their questionable-looking, Limited Edition Frozen dolls. I would call him delusional if there weren’t already five “watchers” waiting to see how the sale goes. If, so help me god, one of these assholes spends that much fucking money on a fucking toy, I am going to sell all my stuff, pack up the kids and move to Mars.

I wish I were making this up (Photo: eBay.co.uk)

You gotta wonder: how many of these supposed buyers are legitimate collectors and how many are actually parents with more money than brains who would rather pay thousands than make their precious little Quinoa or Chevron wait a second longer than absolutely necessary for the latest Frozen toy?

Newsflash! Your child won’t die if they aren’t the first kid in the universe to have whatever bullshit, over-priced toy Disney is shilling next. And you won’t die either.. It might feel like you’re dying, as their high-pitched screams pierce your eardrums, but I promise, it’s temporary.