Tag Archives: 80s

How much did you groan every time your English teacher would request an analysis of vague symbolism in an old book? I remember a good hour-long rant one of my more eccentric English teachers went on about the snake-clasp belt buckle in Lord of the Flies. Of course, I hated it at the time, but now that I’ve been out of school for a year and out of English class for two, I miss it. I miss weaving my words and creating connections between any two seemingly unattached things or events, and getting an awesome mark for it.

So, hey, why not write about Ferris Bueller?

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that Matthew Broderick has starred in a Honda commercial as Ferris Bueller. If you haven’t, well, here it is: (and please, get Twitter or something. It’s 2012!)

If you haven’t seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I have to question why you’re even here and not crying yourself to sleep or something. Go watch it, you will thank me later.

Let’s see. The original movie has Ferris skip school to spend the day in downtown Chicago with his friends, after taking his friend’s dad’s 1961 Ferrari GT.

This commercial features a friend-less Matthew Broderick jump in his super-cool Honda CR-V and spend the day by himself while avoiding his boss.

Well, we all know that getting old sucks. Really sucks. Are we supposed to believe that this is some awesome sequel to the best movie of Broderick’s youth? Are we supposed to appreciate the throwback, and idolize the actor and his rebelliousness now?

He trades this:

For this:

And these:

For…well…a big stuffed panda bear(?)

Shall we even get into how this is a complete sell-out?

So, kiddies. Don’t grow up. You will lose all your friends, have a mid-life crisis where you think buying a reliable compact Japanese SUV is the coolest thing you could do, and will let corporations pay you money to sell out your old dreams and ideas. You will supplement your misery by occasionally skipping work and desperately trying to re-create the spontaneous adventure of your youth, but all alone.

Or maybe you’ll just have some fun driving your cool new SUV around the city. Whatever.

Life’s too short to overanalyze.

Okay, I guess I’ve lost my touch. Good thing I’m not going back to school for literary analysis.