Government to replace % with grades to calculate GDP growth

New Delhi. After GDP growth rate dipped to 4.8%, which is the lowest in a decade, the government has come up with an innovative solution to stop the negative sentiments that follow.

Taking a cue from the CBSE, the central government has decided that from now on, GDP growth rate will be “graded” and no percentage points will be announced.

“Switching to grades from percentage marks has helped reduce students’ trauma; similarly we hope to reduce industries’ and market’s trauma once GDP growth rate is announced in grades,” Finance Minister P Chidambaram hoped.

“Next time, and that time may not be too far away, when the GDP growth rate goes below 4%, it will have the same grade and thus there will be no fall in Sensex,” Chidambaram explained the benefits of grading system.

According to sources, the new grading system, rumored to be finalized by Kapil Sibal, is as follows:

Government is more comfortable handling letters of the alphabet than digits of the economy

GDP growth rate of 10% and above will come under grade AAA
GDP growth rate between 3% to 10% will come under grade A+
GDP growth rate between 2% to 3% will come under grade B
GDP growth rate between 0% to 2% will come under grade C
And negative GDP growth rate will come under grade D

“There will be no F grade, as it promotes futile mental pressure, which is not good for the economy,” Finance Minister explained.

“We are 100% sure that we will get ‘A+’ grade for rest of our tenure,” he further claimed, flashing a victory sign.

Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh, who is also rumored to be an economist, has welcomed the new system and declared its adoption with immediate effect. He wondered why someone as sharp as Montek Singh Ahluwalia couldn’t come up with this earlier.

When contacted by Faking News, Kapil Sibal denied that he had created the new grading system. However, he expressed happiness and hoped that there would be zero loss in GDP growth in coming years.

They mystery over who came up with the grading system was solved by Congress leader Digvijay Singh, who called the system visionary and credited Rahul Gandhi’s knowledge of statistics for the same.

“This will automatically handle few point fluctuations in GDP rate, so be it 3.8% or 8.3%, no worry for anybody. There will be the real ‘feel good’ factor all around,” he claimed.