Oprah Winfrey's much-anticipated interview with Rihanna is close at hand, during which the two women will tool around Barbados, probably hug a lot, and talk about Chris Brown, who is back in Ri-Ri's life after the 2009 assault if you go by tabloids and collaborative remixes. The tears she sheds are remarkably sadder and more complicated because she's crying for Brown, too: he was painted as "a monster," she explains to Oprah, and everyone just "blamed him" for the incident. [ABC News]

O HEY ALSO, the Ballad of the Great Bottle Incident of 2012 has yet another verse: Drake and Chris Brown are being sued by the joint clubs Greenhouse and WiP (the scene of the crime) for $16 million worth of "gross negligence," "ultrahazardous activity" and "intentional illegal acts." This is probably the result of multiple lawsuits the club has been slapped with since that fateful night, by everyone from bystanders to Tony Parker, who is suing for $20 million. [NY Post]

Jensten Engagement 101 Final Quiz:

"A huge emerald-cut diamond" in the shape of a "rectangle with tapered diamond baguettes on the sides" describes...

a) Crying happilyb) Tossing a smoke pellet to the ground and disappearing in the confusionc) Almost BBMing Brad Pitt, thinking better of it, and then going through with it after a few more glasses of champagne:

BOOYAKASHAAAAAAA ENGAGED HOW YOU LIKE ME NOWWWW
brad are you there
brad

Answer key: B, A, A (and possibly C)

[NYDN]
Supposedly she is feeding false information to her friends to try to weed out rats, although her rep calls that crazy. Yeah, crazy like a FOX. [Fox News]
Jen's ex Bradley Coop-a-doop offered his congrats. [Us Weekly]

A Jennifer Lawrence source and a Kristen Stewart source got together and and had a Source Party that consisted of telling the press that the two bitter rivals have been fighting dirty: Lawrence has been subtly badmouthing Stewart's infidelity, saying she'd never cheat on her boyfriend Nicholas Hoult. although she has had plenty of opportunities. More like Katniss EverMEAN, AM I RIGHT????! Meanwhile, K-Stew is threatened by Lawrence's youth and beauty, or whatever. Hopefully none of this is real. [Radar Online]K-Stew will appear for the first time since the scandal on a Toronto red carpet. [E! Online]

Ezra Miller, the eponymous character in We Need To Talk About Kevin and upcoming star of The Perks of Being A Wallflower, has come out in a cover story in, um, Out:

I'm queer. I have a lot of really wonderful friends who are of very different sexes and genders. I am very much in love with no one in particular. I've been trying to figure out relationships, you know?

Miller, who suffered from a speech impediment when he was younger, recalls "trying to kiss boys in school," one of whom—a good friend—turned his back on him after they fooled around.

He had some macho realization that led him to believe that I was the problem. So I went from having a stutter to being a totally gay little opera singer to being, like, a really confused queer adolescent.

Incidentally, the kid dated Zoe Kravitz, which you can Google image search if you want to feel like a creepy, slightly titillated old person. [Out Magazine]

Lady Gaga thinks that the outcry against her Hermés fur coat has been "childish" and "abusive," and took to her blog to point out that she's hardly a hard-line sartorial vegan, having worn python, ostrich, cow hide, leather, lamb, alligator, "kermit," and actual meat in the past.

You see a carcass, I see a museum pièce de résistance. But I am truly sorry to fans who are upset by this, it's a fair and applaudable feeling about the health and safety of animals. I respect your views, please respect mine. And to campaigners, save your flour to make bread for the children who are hungry.

Kim Kardashian says the whole Kris Humphries divorce thing is NOT so she can marry Kanye West. She also called Humphries "a cancer." Jesus. [TMZ]

Kristen Stewart is supposedly indignant that Rupert Sanders is taking nowhere near as much heat as she is for this whole thing. [Page Six]

New York Times journalist David Carr received a unanimous eye-roll while interviewing Robert Pattinson when he drew a comparison between his and K-Stew's problems and Prince Charles and Princess Diana's. [NYDN]

Colin Farrell's friend was creeping on Jessica Biel at the Total Recall premiere afterparty. [The Sun]

Hey! Miriam Shor is gonna guest on The Good Wife following the replacement of Kristin Chenoweth, but she'll always be Yitzhak to me. FUCK YOU, I'M GOING TO GUAM. [Seattle Post Intelligencer]