Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Meanwhile... Back here on Earth(ish)

With The Donald taking up so much oxygen, we haven’t really poked around in the trunk of the clown car lately. Don’t worry though I am here to let you know there is plenty of crazy to go around for everyone.

Today's Guests Pile Out of The Clown Car

Jeb! (still not Bush!) got stuck in the bizarre and distracting issue of “anchor babies”. Not the issue of citizenship for children born here, exactly - everyone in the Republican Presidential Derby believes that this is terrible. Btu they are fighting over the term “anchor babies” and is it offensive? Jeb! first said he would not use it as it was offensive to Latinos. Then he said he would use it, but it was primarily a function of “Asian People”. Yep, he said that. "Asian People" are using anchor babies to get into the country.

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Jeb! did bring out the big guns and had George W Bush stump for him. George jumped into the fray with all the gusto of cold pizza. He was sent back to Texas quickly.

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Carley Florin is using here time in the spotlight to say that liberals in California made the drought worse by failing to regulate California’s water supply. Wait - government regulation, isn’t that against the principals? (Answer - Not when asked if Climate Change effected the drought at all.)

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Ben Carson has proposed using drone strikes on the border with Mexico (link). Oookkkaayyyyy....

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For no reason that I can understand, Mike Huckabee weighed in on the case in Paraguay where an 10 year old child was raped by her step-father and then forced to bring it to term. Apparently God’s plan included the rape of a child, and the requirement of an 11 year old child to give birth to her brother. Pastor Huckabee was against an early termination of the pregnancy here that no one wanted.

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Of course the list of candidate who have decided that rape and incest are not grounds for termination of pregnancy has grown since we last spoke to include Mark Rubio, Ted Cruz and Scott Walker.

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Speaking of Walker, he is imploding. His lead in Iowa vanished - he is now in third. At this point last time Tim Pawlenty had the good grace to bow out when Iowa started to really check out the neighboring governor. He is trying to pull the spotlight back by demanding that President Obama cancel the visit of the Chinese Leader next month. Which is really going to happen.

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Speaking of bowing out, Rick Perry looks headed for the exits. Mr. Magoo couldn’t get traction even when attack the Trumpster.

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With the exit of Rick Perry, there might be an opening in the clown car. Rupert Murdoch pitched Michael Bloomberg and Bill Kristol (the man that gave you Sarah Palin) pitched Sam Alito - the Supreme Court Justice. I personally would love to see Sam step down to run.

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Bobby Jindal used the edited Planned Parenthood Tapes (discredited by everyone who has investigated them) to cut all funding to Planned Parenthood in Louisiana. Even though Planned Parenthood in Louisiana does NOT offer pregnancy termination. Oh Bobby..

John Kasich is moving up the polls simply by not being an idiot. Or at least not speaking like an idiot. He even said that if he was invited to a friend’s gay wedding, he would go. Which they prompted a mini-furor as all candidates where quizzed on if their friendship with a gay person would allow them to doge hellfire and lightening bolts to attend a gay wedding. Trump was the adult in the room here (yes I hate writing that) saying that, duh, it was time to move on from that debate.

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Lindsey Graham, over compensating a little as the huge ass war-monger, said (and you have to quote this because you wouldn’t believe me otherwise, “ The whole world is a battlefield and radical Islam is everywhere,” it isn’t clear if he actually ran around like chicken little while screeching this or not.