Autism, Depression, and Chronic Pain – Oh My!

When Someone You Loved Embraces Ignorance

I have to be careful how I word this post as there is a slight (but unlikely) chance the person I am talking about might read it. However, it has been weighing heavily on my mind so I wanted to talk about it.

There was a person in my personal life I was really close to for several years. I cared about them deeply and loved them like family. They were much younger than myself, so I tried to set a good example for them and be a sort of big sister to them. We spent much of our time together, partly out of necessity at the time and partly because I genuinely enjoyed their company.

Now they are all grown up and I am still in loose contact with them and seeing how they have turned out has kind of broken my heart. They have embraced some radical ideologies that are rude, ignorant, and sometimes bordering on mean or even cruel. I know I only had a real influence on them for a few years, but it still makes me feel like somehow I failed them that they have turned from such a thoughtful, sensitive, caring young person to a cold, bitter, angry, and sometimes hateful adult.

I still love them and know that goodness I knew inside of them must be there somewhere. I know they have had a rough life and many hurtful experiences, just as I had growing up. I wonder if I am being too hard on them. I know sometimes the other side goes way too far with political correctness, perhaps it is just a reactionary thing? Maybe they are just being young and foolish, like we all once were? I don’t know, but it still hurts my heart.

I’m often let down by people when they don’t live up to my expectations of them being better than they think they are…? So… I have learned to expect nothing. Kind of sad but never disappointed, only pleasantly surprised. LOL

Hmm, that’s tough. I guess for anyone who’s been through difficult stuff, it can end up getting channelled in a healthy way or unhealthy way. I hope eventually this person is able to find a healthier way.

I have the same feelings with my youngest sister. She and I were so close and now she is a total stranger to me. How she acts and thinks makes me sad because she used to be so different. Now she’s someone I wish I didn’t know. I love her and pray she will go back to being herself.

Aw, I’m so sorry to hear that. I had my own issues with my sister throughout her life, so I kind of know how that can be. I still miss her dearly though. I hope your sister and you are able to be close again sometime.