POST: 'An Act of God' - God called me an idiot

What's it about?

An Act of God is a show where God comes down and explains his new 10 Commandments while also answering some of the crowd's questions.

What'd I experience?

Before I get into the show I would like to point out that I had no clue where I was going to sit and figured I'd be far enough to kind of blend into the crowd and no one would judge me for wearing ripped up jeans and a t-shirt to the theatre. So when I got my ticket and saw that I was sitting in seat BB 11 which just so happened to be the rightmost seat in the middle chunk of front row seats, I felt really out of place. Seriously it was like nothing but nicely dressed people, and then just me sitting there awkwardly.

Aside from that, when I sat I saw that the entire stage was covered by this gigantic black curtain. This made me really anxious because I love to look at the set before the show starts so the anticipation was killing me. When it finally began, the curtain got sucked away into this hole in the back of the stage, revealing this gloriously white and weirdly futuristic looking set, with a nice big sofa in the middle/front of the stage.

Then after a brief introduction, Sean Hayes a.k.a God showed up and sat down, no less then like 5 feet away from me. He was then joined by his angels, Michael and Gabriel, and after a bit of introducing and storytelling, God began to list off his new Commandments. The Commandments, by the way, were presented like Family Feud on a monitor in the back, he even literally said "let's play the Feud" as he began. It gave me the weird urge to try and guess what the Commandments were going to be, so I had to try really hard not to make a fool of myself and raise my hand or something.

With each Commandment he would tell a little story or give a little explanation as to why he chose it, my favorite being "Thou shalt not kill in my name." The reasoning for it was that he can kill perfectly fine on his own and if you do it for him it just seems kind of like mocking rather than as a gift, which I was really able to understand for some reason, like that just made sense to me. Some of the Commandments were rollovers from the from the original list, but even then he would go into a little side note about them and it was all just very fun. He even bashed Trump a bit at one point which is always a very welcome positive.

My favorite part of the show, though, came when God made fun of me a bunch of times. Throughout the show Michael would go to the audience and ask their name and then make up their place of origin and a question for them, and of course I was the first person he went to. So I told them my name was Danny, and he proceeded to tell God that I was from Chelsea, to which God thought was pretty obvious apparently and I don't know the demographic of Chelsea enough to know if I should be offended or not. He then went on to ask this very convoluted question, to which God gave a very convoluted answer that I did not understand, and when he asked if I got it I just kind of paused and he said "try to keep up Danny" and everyone laughed.

But that wasn't the end of it. He later talked about masturbation, and how it's not a sin because it's evil or anything but because he has to watch every time someone does it and that there were a lot of familiar faces there. I was already laughing at that, but then he said "I'm talking to you there Danny, do it again and I'm going to make it fall off," and my laughter quickly turned into a nervous laughter. BUT THAT STILL WASN'T IT. At one point he was talking about how he knows when everyone was going to die, and that none of us had to worry because "none of us were going to die tonight... EXCEPT FOR AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING" and suddenly the lights cut and there was just a spotlight on me and God as disastrous music played and he stared menacingly at me for a nerve wracking 30 seconds. At this point the people sitting next to me starting questioning me if I was a part of the show and how much involvement I had in it and I had to explain to them that I had either great or terrible luck to be in this position. So in total - God called me an idiot, told me my thing was gonna fall off and that I was going to die at 3:30 in the morning. It was a pretty cool time.

Besides all the jokes and everything, there was this very emotional part of the show where God got very introspective. He started talking about how he was terrible at relationships, he had anger issues, and that he had no real regret when doing anything. He seemed very human in a lot of his reasoning and his actions, and it gave off this weirdly connectable vibe. There was a line that I really liked that probably ruffled a few feathers somewhere but he said that the reason that there are bad people in the world and that nobody is perfect is because "I made you in my image, and I am an asshole. You are my greatest creation, and I am your worst." It was just a weirdly humbling thing to say and think about, that literally nobody is perfect and even God can admit that there are things wrong with him.

This was a God that I liked. A kill-crazy God who cracked jokes, was full of himself, and could admit that even though he's all powerful that he had some very deep flaws. Of course he did follow this up by revealing that he was working with Steve Jobs to create the Universe 2.0 where everything was going to be just and fair and perfect, and the best part, none of us were invited because we would just screw everything up. Kind of a dick move, but he did also sing a nice little closing song about having faith in us that we would carry on and be good people in our own, broken universe, so that kind of leaves him a bit of a moral grey area with me.