Best Leafy Green Conspiracy: One Straw Farm

In Stanley Kubrick’s major motion-picture classic “A Clockwork Orange,” a violent and dissolute youth is conditioned to be revolted to the point of paralyzing nausea by violence, via the forced consumption of recordings of constant, relentless, and never-ending violence, and we know how he feels, only it’s with chard, a leafy green vegetable. Chard’s very healthy, and for quite a few years we’ve been in on the Community Supported Agriculture from One Straw Farm, but enough already with the greens, especially chard. Not to mention rainbow chard and red chard. How much of this are we supposed to eat while we’re dealing with the collards and whatever other kinds of leafy green things show up in our weekly CSA? Every week it’s more chard! Sometimes two kinds! It’s too many greens! We’re sauteing them, roasting them, chopping them up raw for salads, we’re even doing that thing where you make kale chips. Kale chips! We were at the farmers market in Waverly recently and One Straw had a bunch of pattypan squash out on the table for sale, but did we get any in our pickup that week? Vegetables are good for you, sure, but we can’t look at another leaf of beta vulgaris, OK, One Straw? And don’t get us started on purslane! That stuff grows on our lawn, and we ain’t gonna eat it.