Relationships

I spent my life running after the creation. I have always been what you might call ‘needy’. I needed friends, I needed people. All the time. And I couldn’t handle letdowns.
But at the heart of what makes us run after the creation, is simply love. The need to give and receive love. This need has been put in us by the Creator. And every need created by God, has been created for a purpose. The need to give and receive love was created as a driver. A driver that pushes us back to God. You see, we began with God, and God wants us to come back to Him in this life—even before we come back to...

Emotional bullying and being a ‘loser’ in marriage
By: Yasmin Mogahed
A few weeks ago, an article was widely circulated about a woman whose husband told her he was leaving and she decided to ‘ignore’ him (and his feelings) until they magically disappeared (See: http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him#) .
As I read the article, I did something different. Instead of putting myself in *her* shoes, I put myself in his. What I discovered was disturbing at best…
What’s wrong with what she did?
The rhetoric and ‘technique’ was...

Removing the Intruder: On Treating Love Addictions
By: Yasmin Mogahed
Every created thing yearns to fulfill its’ purpose. The eyes yearn to see. The ears yearn to hear. The stomach yearns to eat. The heart yearns to love. And inside every one of us is a created thing. It is a gigantic mass. It is a mass of affection, loyalty, and devotion. And it was created with a purpose. It was created to be given. But it was made to be given in a very specific way, to a very specific place. What we chose to do—or not do—with this heavy mass, determines our state in this life and the next.
The drive...

If you are trying to get over a person you can’t be with, treat it like an addiction:
1. Cut yourself off from the drug completely: Cut off all communication and reminders–even if that means blocking numbers, emails, a Facebook profile, and stop checking their Facebook! This is your detox.
2. Replace it with something better: Increase in your thikr (remembrance of Allah) and get closer to Allah. If you aren’t praying your daily prayers, fix that. Pray all and pray on time. Pray qiyam in the last third of the night (just before fajr). Make duaa, tawbah (repentance), cry,...

It’s easy to minimize a person’s hurt without understanding the nature of pain. People often like to categorize how much a person should or shouldn’t hurt about things. For example, when someone is upset about something, they say, “At least you’re not paralyzed, or starving in Africa.” While it’s imperative to be grateful for what we have, I think people often mistaken the nature of pain, when they ‘categorize’ in this way. A relationship break up can hurt more than struggling with cancer (true story). The criteria for how much something...

To those who tell you to be silent and have ‘patience’ about abuse, know that the Prophet (pbuh) said:”Help your brother if he is an oppressor or oppressed.” A man said, “Messenger of Allah, I can help him if he is oppressed but tell me how I can help him if he is the oppressor?” He said, “Prevent him from oppressing. That is helping him.” [Sahih Bukhari]