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I had sex with with my bf, who recently tested positive, throughout September and early October without a condom. I was the top on all occasions. There were many...it was (and still is) a new relationship. Last time was two weeks ago today, the day before we found out his status, so I had a RT-PCR RNA test today-results to come in a week. First antibody test was done immediately to make sure I wasn't the one who infected him, and it was negative. I have been reading a lot so I know that I won't have conclusive results for 3 months, and I will certainly test again at six weeks regardless of how the RNA test turns out. I know the top has less risk, but I (stupidly) had sex once right after I had cut myself "manscaping"-it was a fresh wound that had bled just hours before. I feel really stupid for putting myself at such risk...

I was not really anxious until I got the RNA test and now I'm waiting, but I will just have to wait! I had been focusing on him, as he is the one confirmed positive-it didn't really hit me how much risk I had put myself in. I'm mostly writing just to make sure I'm not missing anything that I should be doing.

The main reason I went ahead and had the RNA test was because at about two weeks after we met, I got really sick. It's really hard to put all of this together in a time frame because I wasn't suspecting anything was wrong, but since that time I have had a sore throat, a fever, conjunctivitis, and the glands under my chin and at my throat have been swollen-visibly so for about 2 days. They are still swollen. I've lost an inch and a half off of my waist since that initial sickness and about 8 lbs. Several people have commented that I look skinnier. I can tell that I have lost muscle mass everywhere. I remember thinking it was odd-most people gain weight in a new relationship!

The scariest part for me is the rash that started a few days ago. It feels (and looks) like a sunburn all around my neck and chest, forearms and palms. It is worst at the neck and get less severe in other places-I can really only tell because of the blanching. It is not maculopapular-at least from the descriptions I see of that online. I do not have a fever any longer. I'm not worried about this being an ARS rash. I'm worried because it looks more like it's related to blood vessels. I have had tons of new pin-point petechiae and what I guess are spider veins, and I am most red (or even purple) where those are. I'm also bruising and getting petechiae easily (from activities like crossing my legs). I have had a CBC test done just to check my platelet count, as well.

Overall, I'm not optimistic. Even if my tests are all negative, I can tell that there is something quite physically wrong. I know I can tell nothing from symptoms, and I will patiently await the tests. Any feedback on my testing plan would be appreciated.

Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

While your risk as the insertive partner is very much on the lower end of the scale, you have had a risk and you've done the right thing by testing. Unless the cut you had when you manscaped was on your penis and it was inside your partner as a result, it will not have increased your risk.

You're just going to have to wait for your results. Try to keep busy with other things and the time will go much faster. Good luck.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

I understand this, but it was enough that I was encouraged (pushed) to get the RNA test. I was only giving that info as background, and I didn't even go into the detail of the symptoms. It was the tongue ulcers that most concerned the staff...and the fact that rash was present. They didn't seem to care about what kind of rash I had, they were just concerned that I had one at all.

Unless the cut you had when you manscaped was on your penis and it was inside your partner as a result, it will not have increased your risk.

It was and it was. Not to make light of my situation or anyone else's situation/ status, but if I end up being positive because of my thorough, yet careless, manscaping combined with recklessness, I will never forgive myself.

All could have been avoided if I would have wore a condom. I knew this at the time, but my hormones got the best of me.

If you do end up positive, you're going to have to forgive yourself. You're human like the rest of us and humans make mistakes. Part of living well with hiv is having the ability to forgive and move forward. Beating yourself up is not going to help you one iota, so don't go there.

If you come out of this ok, please let it be a lesson to always use condoms until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have BOTH tested negative for ALL STIs TOGETHER.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I was being a bit tongue in cheek-I'm not really beating myself up too much.

On a related note: I have been having a problem with no appetite for several weeks. Over the last couple of days, it has gotten VERY bad. I ate two bites of breakfast today and yesterday. I had one other meal yesterday. I'm sure anxiety is part of it, but this has been going on since before the anxiety started. Any tips? I really need to eat something-I'm already skin and bone....

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Bad news: pain and burning from rash is much worse. My shoulders feel like they are on fire. The last two days, my legs, ankles, and feet all have a strange burning sensation. Still getting little blood blisters. A friend even asked me how I got so sunburned I wish I could chalk this up to a stress related rash-I hope it is. But honestly, I don't feel as stressed as most people around me who are dealing with less. I'm a low stress, low anxiety guy.

My poz partner gets a lot of rashes, but he says he always has. Could be that I caught the rash from him-but that's wishful thinking I guess. He has always had these and I never have, plus his rashes are totally different from what I am having. I did see a dermatologist, but he offered laser surgery. I didn't mention my concerns, as I wanted him to look at it without me interpreting first. After I told him this was only a few days old for the third time, he said he had no idea and gave me a cream. Idiot.

I'm venting...thinking aloud. I know I have to wait. It's strange that the most prominent fear is not knowing what is causing me discomfort. If this rash has nothing to do with HIV, then what?

We cannot diagnose your rash over the internet - nobody can. All we can tell you is that it is highly unlikely to have anything to do with hiv and it sounds nothing like the rash that sometimes (not always) accompanies seroconversion.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I was responding to the last sentence in your previous post. I figured if the issue wasn't addressed, you'd just come back for more.

But seriously, if that rash continues you might want another opinion. The fact that the first dermatologist you saw immediately recommended laser surgery without first obtaining a diagnosis makes me think he just wants to perform expensive procedures. (you know... $$$ka-ching$$$!!!!) Go get a real diagnosis if it persists.

I do not expect you to end up positive as a result of this insertive situation. I fully expect you to continue to test negative. Good luck.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

My RNA test was undetectable. All other std tests were also neg Of course, I'm happy about this. I'm assuming that if HIV were the cause of my rash and other signs, it would have been detectable. I will do an antibody test at 6 and 13 weeks just to be safe. And I'm off to the hospital to find out why I'm having this strange rash! Thanks for the support.

I'm unfortunately back. About 3 weeks ago, my lymph nodes next to my adam's apple swelled up to where they were visibly noticeable-both sides. It was my partner (who is poz) who noticed it, and when I looked in the mirror I was shocked. I had no other symptoms and didn't really worry-I didn't even think about HIV. Two days later, I got a very minor sore throat and had a low-grade fever with night sweats, so I went to the doctor. Antibiotics took care of the sore throat, but the nodes and sweats have stayed.

Right after seeing the doc, I felt the ones in my groin for the first time (on accident in the shower-I wasn't looking for them). A week later another doctor confirmed that I have several swollen nodes in my neck, which since I didn't want to poke around I didn't know. His response-it's probably "just a viral infection." He commented that it was strange that the nodes have stayed swollen when the sore throat and other symptoms were so minor. (I didn't share my HIV concerns with him)

I am not sure when to test again. Can I assume that if this is related to HIV that a RNA PCR would come up with a number? Or should I just wait for the next antibody test? We had a couple of condomless slips in December with me as the insertive partner only. I have no excuse for that, I will only say that we have found the transition to condom use to be quite difficult and frustrating and I honestly haven't been preoccupied with this until the recent reminder every time I look in the mirror and see an obvious reminder popping out from my neck.

Try to keep your hands off of your lymph nodes. Handling them can definitely make problems.

As for testing, you can do an initial test at 6 weeks after the most recent slip. If you test negative that will be a good sign that you are going to continue to test negative. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days and all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure.

The risk is lower for the insertive partner than the receptive, but it is still a risk for sure. So you need to stay aware that everytime you have anal without a condom is a serious risk.

Try to keep your hands off of your lymph nodes. Handling them can definitely make problems.

As for testing, you can do an initial test at 6 weeks after the most recent slip. If you test negative that will be a good sign that you are going to continue to test negative. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days and all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure.

The risk is lower for the insertive partner than the receptive, but it is still a risk for sure. So you need to stay aware that everytime you have anal without a condom is a serious risk.

Good luck with your tests.

Hi Andy, thanks for the feedback. I have been keeping my fingers off of my lymph nodes-I don't need to feel them, as I can see them. Two nights ago I was washing my hair and felt strange bumps on the back of my head. I had a look and it seems my occipital nodes are swollen too-but again, I'm not playing with them...promise! So that now means two in the back of the head, several under my jaw, and two right next to my adam's apple...and two in the inguinal region. None of them have gone down, nor have they grown, nor are they painful, nor do I feel sick.

I went ahead and decided to do the RT-PCR test, as the people at the clinic said that if this was from HIV, that test would definitely come back with a number. I realize I still need to get an antibody test at the appropriate times. I'm trying to remain optimistic, though when I look in the mirror I'm reminded that there is *something* wrong, I just don't know what. I am very well aware that this could be from several different things and I've had this scare before, so while I know I'm at risk I also know all kinds of people get unexplained adenopathy and many with HIV have no symptoms at all-my partner was one such person.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

If you keep going for PCR testing (when it's not even really necessary) instead of antibody testing, you're going to bankrupt yourself in no time. What a waste of money in your case.

Out of curiosity - your poz partner, is he on meds?

Ann

In my case, it is unfortunately necessary. I have a doctors appointment next week. For a number of reasons, I need to keep my testing separate from my regular doctor visits. Knowing that the pcr is negative will keep them from testing me for HIV. If any moderator is curious about the details, I'll share over pm, as it's to sensitive to place on a forum. I know that is vague, but trust me-not doing it this way is much more likely to bankrupt me in the future. Plus, I can get that test for less than $100.

My partner is not currently on meds. His viral count is unknown, but likely high, as he's never been on meds.

In my case, it is unfortunately necessary. I have a doctors appointment next week. For a number of reasons, I need to keep my testing separate from my regular doctor visits. Knowing that the pcr is negative will keep them from testing me for HIV. If any moderator is curious about the details, I'll share over pm, as it's to sensitive to place on a forum. I know that is vague, but trust me-not doing it this way is much more likely to bankrupt me in the future. Plus, I can get that test for less than $100.

My partner is not currently on meds. His viral count is unknown, but likely high, as he's never been on meds.

PCR-RNA test is not a standalone test and must be used in conjunction with an antibody test. You can obtain your conclusive test result 3 months post exposure.

PCR-RNA test is not a standalone test and must be used in conjunction with an antibody test. You can obtain your conclusive test result 3 months post exposure.

I know. I will do the antibody test at the right time. I actually don't think I'm positive, but I want to rule it out (as much as I can now) before I go to see the doctor and get tested for other things.

I know. I will do the antibody test at the right time. I actually don't think I'm positive, but I want to rule it out (as much as I can now) before I go to see the doctor and get tested for other things.

I completely understand why you often drive this point home and repeat the CDC guidelines often. From a public health perspective, of course you are absolutely correct and I have said several times I understand the need for an antibody test at 3 months. In my case, it's essential that I have a piece of paper that shows a recent negative test before I go and let a hospital draw my blood, as where I live I can be compelled to take one without recent evidence of a negative test when I'm showing clinical signs of infection. So if I'm negative on this test, I can safely see a doctor. If I'm poz, then I can just find an anonymous clinic and avoid public hospitals. I would lose everything if I did this any other way.

In other news, two new nodes decided to make their debut this morning. I don't know if viral replication makes new nodes continue to swell or if this is is indicative of something else entirely, as I could find nothing on new nodes popping up over the course of a month, except cancer, but these nodes are not hard or matted. If this keeps up, I'm going to look like I swallowed a bag of marbles

With all due respect, I have no idea what you are responding to. If you can't be bothered to read my posts in the context of the thread, please don't respond. I asked you for nothing and giving me facts after I have already stated the same before you posted is not helpful.

With all due respect, I have no idea what you are responding to. If you can't be bothered to read my posts in the context of the thread, please don't respond. I asked you for nothing and giving me facts after I have already stated the same before you posted is not helpful.

You elected to have unprotected sex. You were advise about testing and the guidelines. So don't continue to keep asking the same questions over and over.

PCR-RNA tests are not approved do give a conclusive test result, they are supplemental tests that are used in conjunction with antibody tests to help diagnose HIV. There are no tests marketed or sold to give a conclusive negative test result earlier than 3 months post exposure.

As for testing, you can do an initial test at 6 weeks after the most recent slip. If you test negative that will be a good sign that you are going to continue to test negative. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days and all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure.

This advice seems to be more generally accepted by the scientific community. I will still test again at 3 months per the CDC guidelines. I will still take my RNA test to the hospital (assuming it says <50) for reasons I have already given (even if vaguely). I need to do it this way, with or without approval here, not for the purpose of a conclusive result, but for the purpose of avoiding a potential nightmare. I will post my six week results, per advice I was already given.

Note no question has been posed, nor was there one in my last few posts. Your first response was to my answer to Anne's question and an explanation to her post. I take the information I'm given here and combine it with what I'm told by the doctor at my clinic; individual situations are not covered by the CDC guidelines, nor should they be. Again, the point of the pcr test for me has more to do with bureaucracy than getting a conclusive result, which I already know I will not get. I would prefer to start getting medical care now as opposed to waiting 3 months to do so.

This advice seems to be more generally accepted by the scientific community. I will still test again at 3 months per the CDC guidelines. I will still take my RNA test to the hospital (assuming it says <50) for reasons I have already given (even if vaguely). I need to do it this way, with or without approval here, not for the purpose of a conclusive result, but for the purpose of avoiding a potential nightmare. I will post my six week results, per advice I was already given.

Note no question has been posed, nor was there one in my last few posts. Your first response was to my answer to Anne's question and an explanation to her post. I take the information I'm given here and combine it with what I'm told by the doctor at my clinic; individual situations are not covered by the CDC guidelines, nor should they be. Again, the point of the pcr test for me has more to do with bureaucracy than getting a conclusive result, which I already know I will not get. I would prefer to start getting medical care now as opposed to waiting 3 months to do so.

CDC does not govern test approvals and testing guidelines, that is done by the manufactures of the HIV tests and the FDA.