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Brother, brother
this is not the end
and you will be here
in every step I take
even my black shoes
remind me of you
when I go to Malbeck’s birthday
Hans ask me where you are
and says “I have always seen you as a couple”
a dark shadow of pain
is covering my face
I am turning in grief
a silent sound of mercy
I have lost before
this time I am fainting
losing my grip of reality
the woman I love
is afraid
she is in a state of dispair
because she feels my pain
will reduce my love for her
she is once in a life time
just as my friendship
and his death
will make me love her more
I am a cocktail
she said it herself
“I come as a package”
also I am a combination
a mixture of dead evil
positive energy
love and hate
black as white
it is only this man
she loves
from inside darkness
comes my smile
when I make love to her
I sink into invisible wells
of my heart
with unhealed wounds
doors of sorrow and grief
which will always be wide open
I dare tell her things
that will make her
recent me
and I hope
it will make her
love me more

I might not feel at home where I was born, but here on the outskirts of the continent I appreciate a waitress that does not take away my plate when I am still eating. It is my birthday – the 5th of April.

Can you imagine a bigger pleasure than being treated as you would like to be treated while your turning 53?

I am always looking for something, but very often I find something else. How can I expect to find the same restaurant after 27 years? I am like an aboriginal. My past and my heritage has been disrupted, distroyed and mutulated. I cannot sing the same song and find my way around. I thought I could cross the railway tracks, but they build a new railway station.

This time I found a small restaurant called Dinar in Konstantinoupoleos number 178A run by Nadia, where I got a nice bottle of rosé and freshly fried sardines.

52:

I am on my may again
boarding a transportation device
in late afternoon of New Year Eve
I have been here before
the train from Dar Es Salaam in 2010
I had to stop halfway due to practicalities
this time I intend to go all the way
since it would be very complicated not to.

This is also the end of 52 in 2016
a long journey of writing what ‘s on my mind
one month like the other
does it make a difference?
can I still after traveling the world grasp changing seasons?
is writing an accurate reflection of life?
I will tell you later.

Soon in an airplane over the Mediterranian Sea
the water connecting continents falling apart
maybe not even continents
they have no common identity
but simply pieces of land
it is only the water in the sea
claiming to be an entity of substance.

51:

Eyes in Rabat
I am seeing eyes everywhere
everywhere I look
the eyes of Rabat
eyes to look into
eyes looking at me
magnetic connections
an invitation to think
a pledge to connect
eyes of curiosity
kind and gently eyes
smiling
waiting
what do you want
and what do I want
a slight touch from behind
a hand protecting my eyes in the sun
I can see
you
you and me

I am going to meet the HEAT
the HEAT will meet me
we are going to expand to unknown temperatures
a snow man will also be part of the equation
it will be a desicion between melting the HEAT
and selling the BEAT.

If you think you have already warmed up
then what you will see coming is a lot
we can not promise you eternal living
but while we are running
the MEAT will be boiling

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Brother, brother this is not the end and you will be here in every step I take even my black shoes remind me of you when I go to Malbeck’s birthday Hans ask me where you are and says “I have always seen you as a couple” a dark shadow of pain is covering my […]