The Texas Cockroach is a satirical newspaper from the mythical small town of LaCucaracha, Texas. In LaCucaracha, football is king, and citizens have a choice of 137 churches. The Texas Cockroach parodies the unique culture, lifestyle and politics found nowhere else but Texas. Pour yourself a tall glass of iced tea, sit back, and take a virtual stroll through the streets of LaCucaracha. God Bless Texas.

Note: This is an mySA.com City Brights Blog. These blogs are not written or edited by mySA or the San Antonio Express-News. The authors are solely responsible for the content.

Hallowed Ground McDonald’s Causes Controversy

Nine years ago this month, beloved LaCucaracha mayor, Ronald “Happy” Taylor, lost his life in a fierce battle with a Big Mac he purchased at the Sintown McDonald’s. Mayor Taylor, or ‘Happy’, as he was known to everyone who ever shared a word or handshake with him, was returning to LaCucaracha from a Texas Municipal League meeting held in the state’s capitol. Hungry, he stopped off at the McDonald’s drive thru for a quick bite to eat. Normally, Happy would have gone for the McNuggets value meal since he was driving, and the nuggets were easier to eat while navigating CR 102. But, since it was shy of six o’clock, he went for the Big Mac instead, and decided to wait until he got back to the courthouse before consuming the 100% all beef burger.

Happy parked at Main and Milam and began the short trek across Travis Street to return to work. Eating while he walked, Happy suddenly began choking on a section of sesame seed bun that didn’t quite go down. The trauma from the choking certainly didn’t help with the simultaneously occurring myocardial infarction. The most popular and beloved mayor in the history of LaCucaracha lost his fight with the Big Mac just past six that evening.

The spot of Happy’s death is, of course, now marked by the memorial bronze commissioned by the city council shortly after his passing. As interim mayor, Ted “Dizzy” Brandenberger, said at the statue’s dedication, “LaCucaracha will never be the same. The lives of our citizens will never be the same. But for Happy, we must persevere. We must carry on. And don’t forget to buy local.”