Tag: toddler

7:52am: I open my eyes and squint at the clock. Shit, it’s almost 8am, how the hell did that even happen? At this point I would usually have been awake for several hours. The small one is asleep next to me, as per the last two – three? – weeks? …

I live in a cursed house. I swear that half of my blog posts are moaning about illness in some capacity but that’s because a) we are always sick these days, or that’s how it feels and b) being ill really sucks. I make a crappy sick person; even my …

This time last year, I was just starting this blog. I had a six month old baby who had just learned to crawl and a feisty, chatty two year old. As you’d imagine (or can guess from the exasperated tone of my posts) it was hard work; I often felt …

One hour and 17 minutes. That is how long I have been sitting in my children’s room, waiting for them to fall the f*ck to sleep. Specifically the small one. It is Saturday night, and it’s almost 8.30pm. By now I’ve basically read the whole of the internet and I …

SO THIS IS HOW MY DAY WENT: 6:03: Small one awake. He gets out of bed, opens his bedroom door (he is like a sixteen-month-old Indominous Rex – never underestimate him) and starts banging against ours and squealing and whinging. Time to get up! Or at least for daddy. I …

Ah, Mr Tumble. Take your finger, touch your nose, blink three times and wonder what happened to your life. Yes, I admit it. The Mr Tumble thing? I don’t get it. I’m not a fan of Justin Fletcher (sorry, Justin). Give me Mr Bloom any day of the week. Sadly for …

The big one went to her cousin’s for a “sleepover” last weekend. I say “sleepover” as by all accounts, not a great deal of sleep was had due to her waking in the night and demanding Peppa Pig. Wouldn’t get away with that at home, young lady (sorry guys). Daddy …

And so, just like that, Autumn is well and truly upon us and we are careering at speed towards winter. The clocks have gone back, the pumpkins lay mouldering in the compost bin (or they would if I could remember to take them out) and fireworks night is on its way. Predictably, …

So not only do we have to suffer the indignity of the clocks going back this weekend, but it’s also Halloween on Monday. Yup. Hold on to your pants. Back in those relaxing and hedonistic days before children I probably enjoyed Halloween as an excuse to dress up in something …

I’m aware I’ve done a lot of moaning about my son lately. I would apologise, but that is basically what this blog is for. I don’t make money out of it, it eats up the majority of my very limited spare time, it’s way more complicated than I ever anticipated, …