Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

I was just about to post a question on this topic then I saw this post....ahh the dread. So would anyone co-sign for a spouse? I have always said absolutely not when approached by my DH on the topic. However, now I am just confused on whether I am being a bad wife by not doing so. The thought is now crossing my mind again.

I would co-sign for my DGF (when we get married), in a heartbeat. She's done more than enough for me in this lifetime and for the next... but that's because I trust her with every aspect of my life. I wish I could say I was being naive, but she's extremely smart financially, has 800+ credit scores and although she's not a budget master (I am hehe), she's not a wasteful spender either.

Then again, she pretty much fits the bill as one of the people I know LEAST to need a co-signer. So maybe that's why I would do it without hesitation.

Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

I'm all for spouses/ SO's sticking up for one another, but my one question would be, why does the spouse need a co-sig?

If it's someone who's had tough times or (OK) cluelessness, but is now on the way back up, that's one thing.

But if it's someone who is willfully dumb about credit, and won't do what it takes to grow up and get responsible, but now wants a co-sig, I'd be awfully hesitant. If nothing else, it sounds like enabling.

Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

tonyaether - for my previous x's (this goes for anyone I dated), the answer is NO. Why? Mainly becuase of our major differences in the financial attitudes we had. My current SO - yes. I have actually co-signed on a personal loan. The purpose of the personal loan - to raise his score and add to his mix of credit. The unspoken agreement (we talk with our minds, so the whole out loud thing doesn't have to happen often) was I would receive the money and I would make the payments back to the CU. The money was DD into our joint account and paid back within 30 days. I let it report once. Done.

Now if any of the kids asked. Uh, no. I have led by example, sometimes working 3 jobs to provide. I have driven cars that announced my arrival well in advance. The mortification of having to drive those few cars was enough to push me into working another job to get a decent car faster.

Each circumstance is different and I would definitely listen if someone asked me.....

Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

Thanks for input everyone. I do want to clarify, we are not in a community property state. It's equitable distribution here. I guess my apprehension comes in the nature of everything. I was a single mother for a long time and had to scrape my way back through credit and financial issues. I am sure part of it is me not wanting to allow someone to jeopardize that. Up until this point I could handle things on my own if it came to that and there is still some security for me in that. That is probably residuals from always being in control.... Who knows and I won't get Dr. Phil on it (even though I already did).... However the largest part of my issue is that I need to maybe see more from him first in helping his own situation. I haven't seen the effort that I need to see to feel ok enough to "let my guard down". It's definitely something I will need to really think about. I am a prepare for the worst type of person (pessimist if you will). This really has nothing to do though with insensitivity, lack of love/caring, or not having his back. It's more like hauling said, I don't want to be an enabler. Either way, bottom line is that I need to make a choice I can live with.

Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

Thanks for input everyone. I do want to clarify, we are not in a community property state. It's equitable distribution here. I guess my apprehension comes in the nature of everything. I was a single mother for a long time and had to scrape my way back through credit and financial issues. I am sure part of it is me not wanting to allow someone to jeopardize that. Up until this point I could handle things on my own if it came to that and there is still some security for me in that. That is probably residuals from always being in control.... Who knows and I won't get Dr. Phil on it (even though I already did).... However the largest part of my issue is that I need to maybe see more from him first in helping his own situation. I haven't seen the effort that I need to see to feel ok enough to "let my guard down". It's definitely something I will need to really think about. I am a prepare for the worst type of person (pessimist if you will). This really has nothing to do though with insensitivity, lack of love/caring, or not having his back. It's more like hauling said, I don't want to be an enabler. Either way, bottom line is that I need to make a choice I can live with.

There's a difference between a hand up and a handout.

Good luck to you. That's a tough position to be in, but it's probably an important stage in your relationship. And in the end, you do have that original responsibility to your kids, before anything else that comes along later. Hope it works out for you!

Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

Just saw another thread on this topic and really got to wondering how often people get hosed co-signing car loans.

I'll bet it's pretty common. I mean, think through what they're thinking: Hey, everyone needs a car, right? And you need to get something decent, not some old beater, right? And you're my friend/ my mom/ my son/ the love of my life, and we're all here to help each other, right?

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