My tax returns? Keep waiting, motherfuckers!
You’ll get to see them maybe when hell freezes.
I promised to release them? Get this, suckers –
I said it just to get elected. Jesus!
The IRS is gonna be abolished;
The rich won’t pay their taxes any more,
So guys like me no longer have to hide.
And when your welfare’s totally demolished,
We’ll raise more money from the sick and poor.
The facts – alternative – are on my side.

Who said that truth is beauty, beauty truth?
Well, lemme tell you it’s a load of crap.
It doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes-like sleuth
Or even someone who can read a map
To figure out the answer. Yeah, it must
Have been some journalist or liberal,
The kind that sells fake news, the People’s Foe.
There’s just a couple sources you can trust -
Breitbart and Fox. Believe me, that is all
Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.