You know how socialist billionaire Warren Buffett wrote that column last week where he said, "cut the coddling shit, government bros—I want to be taxed more," or something to that effect, and just about everybody tweeted it? Yeah, well, Charles Koch didn't like that column very much.

Koch—chairman and CEO of Koch Industries, Inc. and one-half of famous right-wing, activist billionaire duo the Flying Kochamazov Brothers—says his private investments are doing plenty of wonderful things for America, so Buffett can stuff it:

"Much of what the government spends money on does more harm than good; this is particularly true over the past several years with the massive uncontrolled increase in government spending. I believe my business and non-profit investments are much more beneficial to societal well-being than sending more money to Washington.

Some of Koch's "investments" include polluting Wisconsin with messed-up recall election ballots, fighting the all-too-powerful unions in that state, and "startling" Detroit residents with fake eviction notices. Oh, and not to forget his successes plotting straight-up evil—which America desperately needs! We must replenish our stockpile of evil, if we wish to get out of this economic slump. Thanks be to Charles Koch for doing his part.

In related news, the popular class-wartime pamphlet Barron'ssays Buffett's proposed tax hike on super-rich Americans wouldn't make any difference in terms of generating revenue, because "there simply aren't enough of them to make a huge difference by themselves." But as recent history suggests, cutting taxes will likely remedy America's shortage of billionaires. So we should continue cutting taxes, and wait patiently until we're all super-rich.