I know someone, but I'm not telling who, who left her breast prosthesis at a friend's house after spending a weekend there. She ended up having to make a phone call that began, "Hey, hi! Listen, did I leave my boob at your place?"

My mother, a dressmaker, used to use her prosthesis as a pin cushion. It caused a bit of consternation with clients when she was doing a fitting with them.Then she acquired a new prosthesis which was filled with a kind of gel, she had to unlearn her habit of sticking pins in!

I remember reading an article about a man who had to have his arm amputated. He got tired of strangers asking him "What happened to your arm?" so he took to looking down at his empty sleeve in shock and yelling "Holy crap, I've LOST MY ARM!!!"

True story--Son in paramedic school, doing ER rotation. Medics bring in crayzee woman, who called an ambulance because she "lost her vagina." Son looks around, asks the medics "Well, did you look around for it?" Poor doc about spit his coffee out laughing.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.