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Monday, 7 October 2013

To Change or not to Change - Two Heads

I still did not know whether or not to use a pseudonym for the
crime novels.Up until now I had written
Regency Paranormal, oh, and science fiction.But now I included crime.What
would my readers think, how would they react?

So, after much debate, chewing nails, clenching teeth, I decided
to let things run.It wasn't a question
of taking the easy way out. I think I have chosen the hardest.I realize I have a mercurial mind, some might
say butterfly. I would say it is both butterfly and dragon.The analogy being, I love to write gut
wrenching crime and frothy Regency with an underlying message. Way below the
sex and the foam is a plea for the subjugation of women.

Then crime is a passion I cannot resist, A new idea for a plot
swims through a nightmare, makes a thunderous announcement, with my innards and
heart.Responding, I lurch up in bed,
beads of sweat running down my bosom, my lungs gasping for air.Yes – Yes, that’s it. Eureka. The ideas for a
new crime of passion or dreams of a psychopath are born.I must admit to looking furtively into the
corners of blackness, did something, or some serial killer lurk in the
shadows?My bedroom is indeed black I
use black out blinds. I profess to being a partial insomniac, so I try to block
out all light. Anything that would alert my teeming brain.

I never dream the plot or idea for the Regency novels, they just
arise in my mind as I walk the dog in brilliant sunshine. Obviously,
atmospherics play a part in inspiration.

My conundrum was could I expect my readers to
appreciate both Regency and Crime?Yes,
they are different novels written at different times but there is only one
author - moi. Yes, my two heads. One is invisible. Doesn't frighten the
hairdresser. Would my Regency followers grimace to see a crime book advertised
at the same time as a sexy romance? Would my crime readers think I write more
romance than crime in the novel?The
answer is no – no.In the crime book, the
romance would be gut wrenching sex.Not
porn or even erotic, just sex.Regency
is far more about the seduction of the hapless heroine. Actually my heroines
are never hapless they are vixens. Cats clothed in satin.

As the summer drew to a close, I knew I had to put
the novels on. By now I had written three, one regency and two crime. My very
first crime novels and I loved every blood filled moment of writing them. Well
most of the time. I must say here andnow, that I felt guilty writing some of the crimes, in fact so much so,
that I stopped typing and grabbingLily’s lead, went off for walks down the Twittens ( old roads) my head
filled with questions, should Iinclude
that spine chilling crime?Is it too
gory?Why was I writing it? I even put
the wasps out with a glass and paper so as not to hurt their fragile legs. So why
was|writing it? Well there was a reason, an historical one. People love
historical novels, and accept the gore, the guts, and the spilled innards. But
put it in a fiction crime novel and bodies flinch, heads shake and voices
groan.

So September rolled on and still couldn't make up my
mind if I should use another pen name for the crime novels.

In the end I decided, writing is all about freedom,
the freedom to write what we will. James Joyce shook a whole nation with his
Ulysses; DHJ Lawrence did likewise with Lady Chatterley’s lover. Thomas Harris
enthralled the world with Hannibal Lector and his penchant for cooked
brains.I researched and saw many
writers did write in different genres but kept their name. And that is what I
must do. I must trust myself, be brave, and be myself with all my
sub-personalities on show. A true writer writes from the soul, with their fear
and their love.So they cannot claim any
pseudo dignity. They have to show their true self, their own dignity.

So after much sighing, I accepted freedom.We may have genres; they are okay for
selling purposes, or making choice of book easier, but not for a writer’s soul.

Today, I’ve faced the situation and put on my first
Regency novel, which will be followed up with the two crime novels.The photos of each are now on my two
blogs.And I must say I felt a sense of
satisfaction, a love for my muse, wherever and whoever that might be.

A Lady’s
Plight is out today, and the images of the two crimes are there.But I won’t start advertising the two crime
novels until after A Lady’s Plight. The reason being, my 'Look inside for Death
Chords’ is not yet on the Amazon page.

Such a flurry of words. I find I have quite another
sub-personality for writing the blogs, it’s a particular voice I can hear, a
particular feeling.So different from
the Regency sub-personality and far away from the crime sub. Yes, I do have
sub-personalities and I acknowledge them. One day we may all join and be one
‘whole’ balanced, and calm.What a
pity.