Phillipses understand demands of family business of football

Former Oilers coach Bum Phillips, left, and his son, Texans defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, have made up for lost time later on in life.

Former Oilers coach Bum Phillips, left, and his son, Texans...

Only one thing was missing from the deathbed scene - someone who was dying.

Yes, Bum Phillips had been in and out of the hospital early in the year with a respiratory ailment related to his asthma. Yes, Wade Phillips was missing from the Texans contingent at the NFL combine in Indianapolis in February, choosing to be at his father's bedside along with other family members at the ranch owned by Bum and his wife, Debbie, near Goliad. Yes, there were rumors the end was near.

So Wade, his wife, Laurie, and possibly others from the family will make the trip to the ranch Sunday for Father's Day.

The day might go something like this. There will be the usual family talk over lunch. Then Bum and Wade will take a walk. Bum, 89, needed help in February moving from his bed to the chair next to it, one of the reasons Wade was there. Now, Bum gets around on his own with a walker, although Wade said his father is ornery about it.

He and Wade will talk about football, specifically about the Texans, more specifically about the defense Wade coordinates.

Bum and Wade, who will turn 66 this week, have always bonded over football. That does not mean they have always been close.

Wade's childhood was a blur as his father, a fledgling coach, moved from one job to another. The only consistency was that he spent long hours at each. He didn't go to Wade's baseball or basketball games. If Wade wanted to spend time with him, he had to go the field house.

Always on the move

It seemed to be a different field house every year. Wade found out they were moving from Amarillo to El Paso during the ninth grade when he came home from school one day to find a moving van in front of the house. Eager to play for his father, he was prevented from doing so until his senior year at Port Neches-Groves because of Texas' transfer rules.

It was harder on the five girls, Wade's younger sisters, because they didn't have the same opportunities. When the last was born, Wade had to accompany his mother, Bum's first wife Helen, to the hospital because Bum, an assistant coach with the Chargers, was busy with the draft.

Bum once told Sports Illustrated the lack of time he spent with his family while coaching was his biggest regret.

"I was absent a whole lot," he said.

Wade said he learned from that when he and Laurie began raising their two children - Tracy, 34, and Wes, 31.

Son of Bum, as he is known on Twitter, vowed he wouldn't look back with regret as his father had.

"I can't begin to tell you the number of hours I spent watching dancing," he said.

His daughter, Tracy, confirmed that by phone from Southern California. She is a successful dancer/choreographer who has appeared in numerous movies, music videos and commercials and now co-choreographs Harlow Gold, a nouveau burlesque appearing weekly in three - soon to be four - Los Angeles-area theaters.

A generational shift

"I don't ever remember him missing anything, whether it was gymnastics when I was younger or dance recitals when I began dedicating myself to that," she said.

Wes, tight ends coach for the Dallas Cowboys, said the same - his father never missed his piano recitals when he was younger or any of the games he played in numerous sports.

"I didn't think much of it at the time," Wes said. "Other fathers were at the games, not all, but some. It wasn't until I became a coach that I realized how much juggling he had to do to put in as much time as he did coaching and to be with his family."

That set an example for Son of Bum's son.

He and his wife, Anna, have a daughter about to turn 3. They attend dance recitals.

"A lot of people play golf when they're not working," Wade said. "I never did. I went home because that's where I wanted to be."

It is a close family.

Both children describe their father as "a romantic."

"He's the kind of man who believes there is one woman for everyone and once he found that one my mom has forever been his soulmate," Wes said.

He said his father constantly surprises Laurie with flowers and gifts, recalling one Christmas in particular when his parents had decided not to exchange gifts only to have Wade pull out an expensive bracelet from behind a couch cushion.

"There's a naivete about him, an innocence that you wouldn't expect of most football coaches at that level," Tracy said.

Wade and Bum made up for lost time during the three years Bum coached Wade - the last two as defensive coordinator at the University of Houston - and during the decade Wade coached under Bum.

"We were fortunate to have all that time together," Wade said.

He doesn't blame his father for the choices he made.

Sport keeps them close

"That's what you did in those days, you worked," Wade said. "If you worked as a football coach, you won games by outworking the opposing team's coaches. I understood it then. I understand it now. I never resented it.

"He's too hard on himself about it."

Since Wade became Texans defensive coordinator in 2011, Bum has made it a point to travel to Houston on occasion to see the Texans practice.

Because of his limited mobility, Bum probably won't be able to do that this year. But he keeps up by phone, most recently during the organized team activities and minicamp.

"He asks about everything we're doing and wants to know about all the new players," Wade said. "Then he starts talking to me about some things we should do here and there. That's how I know he's all right."