Downsizing? Don't count on selling or even giving away your excess stuff: Living On

CLEVELAND, Ohio - When Rosemary Grdina Gold and her husband, Jerry Gold, moved in 2013 from a large home in Pepper Pike to a 1,500 square-foot condominium in Bratenahl Place, they had 20 years' worth of possessions and memories to sift through and pare down.

They tried to give some of it to a daughter and three grandchildren. "None of them wanted anything," said Grdina Gold, a judge in the Cuyahoga County Domestic Relations Court. "We had a ton of stuff to get rid of."

They took some furniture to their new place, but the rest went to an auction house. That's when they learned the hard truth facing today's Baby Boomers and older people as they make the transition from family homes to condominiums, assisted living or even nursing homes: Your antique dining room set, your prized collection of porcelain figurines, your Oriental rugs, your expensive wedding china: It's all worth a lot less than you think it is.

The Gold's custom-made dining room table sold for about a quarter of what they paid for it, Grdina Gold said. "We had beautiful cut-glass pitchers from the mid-19th century, and they sold for a couple of bucks maybe. Nothing came nearly close to what we paid for it. But what are you going to do?"

"Things are in the saddle and ride mankind," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson in an 1846 poem, observing that American culture values possessions over human beings.

A century-and-a-half later, the saddle is strapped and cinched to the backs of the Boomers. Born between 1946 and 1964, the largest generation in American history now numbers about 74 million. They carry the load as they age and downsize and, at the same time, have to help their older parents figure out what to do with all their things.

Meanwhile, the more loosely defined generations coming up behind them, Generation X (usually said to be born from 1965 to 1979, and numbering about 62 million) and Millennials (usually defined as born from 1980 and 2000, numbering about 92 million), tend to have different tastes.

Their parents and grandparents filled their homes with what is known in the trade as "brown furniture," heavy, dark-wood antiques and 20th century copies. But young people love the cleaner lines of contemporary furniture and the mid-century modern furniture of the 1950s and '60s, the very furniture their own parents rejected They often live in smaller homes and apartments, or are out of town and unwilling or unable to ship furniture.

"Our children are more minimalist," said Mary Kay Buysse, the executive director of the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) and a Baby Boomer herself. "They want to travel through life lighter than their parents and grandparents, and they have no issue with outfitting an apartment from Target and Ikea."

Buysse and her siblings just went through moving their father, who has Alzheimer's disease, and their mother, to a continuing care retirement community. "It was the most heart-wrenching month of my life," Buysse said. On top of making a move she didn't want to make, and the emotion of leaving her home of 40 years, Buysse's mother kept asking what would happen to her Waterford collection and lighted curio cabinet.

Chances are, they won't find a buyer.

Delivering the bad news

"It's the law of supply and demand, and there's so much supply and not enough demand," said Carrie Pinney, who has been business manager of the Cleveland office of Cowan's Auctions since 2014. "Mid-century modern is really hot. But antique furniture in general, except for really good rare items, has gone down in value."

Pinney and others who work at auction houses and consignment stores have seen this phenomenon grow over several years, and it falls to them to deliver the bad news to downsizers and heirs.

"A lot of what we do is help people establish expectations," Pinney said. She pointed to a large Asian floor vase awaiting the next auction. "It might be worth a couple hundred dollars," she said. "The heirs thought it would go for a couple of thousand."

Nancy Sheeler, owner of Transitional Design in Broadview Heights, said she tells clients, "I'm happy to sell these for you, but you have to be OK with what they sell for."

Sheeler started her business 10 years ago after helping her husband's parents move from their home of 50 years into assisted living. She had retired from sales with IBM, and wanted to help people like her in-laws. "What do elderly people do if they don't have adult kids to help?" she wondered. She got certification from the NASMM and started the business in her home.

Today, Transitional Design occupies a 15,000-square-foot facility that includes a consignment store filled with furniture and housewares, online auctions and a shop that paints and repurposes older furniture. There, sets of china fill shelf after shelf, alongside small appliances and decorative tchotchkes. Small rooms have been decorated as full bedrooms and dining rooms, and in the large main room sofas and living room chairs are displayed near a baby grand piano.

"Pianos!" said Buysse of NASSM, which has about 1,000 members seeing the same trends across the country. "You can't give away a piano anymore, unless it's a Steinway or a Baldwin. And china. When was last time a bride registered for china? People moving to assisted living, a lot of them not only have china and everyday dishes, they have Thanksgiving and Christmas sets, too!"

Gen Xers and Millennials are not the only ones who don't have room for all those dishes in their two-bedroom urban apartments. Some parts of the country, Buysse said, are so saturated with all this downsized stuff that even the Goodwill's will say they're at capacity and can't take donations.

Not in Northeast Ohio. "We aren't seeing that here," said Maureen Ater, vice president of marketing and fund development for Goodwill Industries of Greater Cleveland and Eastern Ohio, which has retail stores selling used goods, clothing and furniture that in turn fund Goodwill's social programs offering work readiness, job coaching, job placement, parenting classes and more.

"We're actually in need of donations right now, especially housewares like pots and pans and small appliances. This time of year is a dry spell for our donations."

Blake Johnston, marketing and communications manager for Greater Cleveland Habitat for Humanity, said his organization is also accepting goods. "We're more than happy to accept every donation that we can. We have steady pick-up times and our three trucks are always full." Habitat accepts building materials in addition to furniture and housewares for its two area ReStores, where the proceeds from the sale of donated goods go toward its mission to create affordable home ownership for needy families by rehabbing vacant homes.

Knowing their things will help others can make the process easier for homeowners, said Sheeler of Transitional Designs. "We like to have younger buyers come in. We tell them it's a wonderful way to start a new home, and since we sell on consignment, it's also a wonderful way to give something back to care for an elderly person or to their family."

As for those families, Buysse said that too often, people who don't want to hurt their parents' feelings will take the unwanted furniture and china and put it in the basement, or worse, a storage unit. "Then you're just pushing off the decision-making to another generation, and another time," she said.

And it will only be worse for the next generation, she fears.

"Sometimes I feel I'm on the top deck of the Titanic and I'm the only one seeing the iceberg," she said. "It's a challenge, and it's all going to come to a head soon. The oldest Baby Boomers are only 72."

Downsizing contacts

Northeast Ohio has many auction houses, consignment stores and estate-sale companies that sell antique and used furniture and household goods. They can be found online under the search words "Cleveland" and "auctions," "estate sales" and "furniture consignment."

We also have many charitable organizations that sell items to raise money for programs. Search online for "Cleveland" and "donate furniture" or "donate household goods."