We all face death, but how many of us are actually ready for it? Whether our own death or that of a loved one comes first, how prepared are we, spiritually or practically? In Preparing to Die, Andrew Holecek presents a wide array of resources to help the reader address this unfinished business.

Part One shows how to prepare ones mind and how to help others, before, during, and after death. The author explains how spiritual preparation for death can completely transform our relationship to the end of life, dissolving our fear and helping us to feel open and receptive to letting go in the dying process. Daily meditation practices, the stages of dying and how to work with them, and after-death experiences are all detailed in ways that will be particularly helpful for those with an interest in Tibetan Buddhism and in Tibetan approaches to conscious dying.

Part Two addresses the practical issues that surround death. Experts in grief, hospice, the funeral business, and the medical and legal issues of death contribute chapters to prepare the reader for every practical concern, including advance directives, green funerals, the signs of death, warnings about the funeral industry, the stages of grief, and practical care for the dying.

Part Three contains heart-advice from twenty of the best-known Tibetan Buddhist masters now teaching in the West. These brief interviews provide words of solace and wisdom to guide the dying and their caregivers during this challenging time.

Preparing to Die is for anyone interested in learning how to prepare for death from a Buddhist perspective, both spiritually and practically. It is also for those who want to learn how to help someone else who is dying, both during the time of illness and death as well as after death.

Andrew Holecek is an in-demand teacher of Tibetan Buddhism who teaches seminars throughout the country on spiritual hardship and the Tibetan views of life, death, and beyond. He is affiliated with Shambhala centers worldwide and was adjunct faculty at Naropa University and the Ngedon School of Buddhist Studies. He is also the cofounder of Global Dental Relief, which serves impoverished children in five Asian and Central American countries.

Contents: Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. A guide fo those facing death and for their caregivers, including teachings from the great masters and useful advice on navigating end-of-life issues by Andrew Holecek

Foreword by Tulku Thondup Rinpoche

1

Introduction

3

Part One: Spiritual Preparation

1. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DIE

15

Living a Good Life, Learning to Let Go

15

Practices and Teachings to Prepare You for Death

18

Shamatha Meditation

18

Vipashyana Meditation

21

The Four Reminders

22

Doctrinal Preparation

26

Tonglen

28

Reverse Meditations

29

Pure Land Practice

33

Preparation for Sudden Death

37

Noble Truths

38

Devotion

42

The Bardos and the Trikaya

44

Mind Leads All Things

53

Phowa

54

Shitro and Vajrasattva Practice

57

Working with Passion

58

Insurance Dharma

59

Dharma Wills and the Dharma Box

61

Final Advice

63

2. WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS BEFORE THEY DIE

65

3. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF AS YOU DIE

67

Letting Go

68

Dissolution and Signs

70

Outer Dissolution

73

What Is Happening?

76

Inner Dissolution

78

Tukdam

82

The Peaceful and Wrathful Visions

83

The Hourglass

85

Conclusion

89

4. WHAT TO DO FOR OTHERS AS THEY DIE

91

The View

91

Sacred Listening

94

Hopes and Fears of the Dying

96

Holding Environments

97

Creating the Environment

100

Looking Forward

101

Advice from Sogyal Rinpoche

102

Telling the Truth

105

Fears about Dying

106

Unfinished Business

107

Giving Hope and Finding Forgiveness

107

Saying Goodbye

108

Toward a Peaceful Death

109

By the Bedside of the Dying

110

Dedicating Our Death

111

Letting Go of Attachment

112

The Grace of Prayer at the Moment of Death

113

The Atmosphere for Dying

113

Esoteric Practices

115

5. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF AFTER YOU DIE

117

The View

117

First Step

121

After Remembering

123

Other Practices

127

Advice from The Tibetan Book of the Dead

127

Blocking

129

Bright and Soft Lights

132

Choosing

133

5. WHAT TO DO FOR OTHERS AFTER THEY DIE

139

The View

139

When to Help

142

The Power of Merit

144

Reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead

148

Sur Offering

149

Commissioning Monasteries

150

Monastic Rituals and Ceremonies for the Dead

151

Gelugpa Rituals

156

Summary

158

Part Two: Practical Preparation

7. BEFORE DEATH APPROACHES

161

Legal Issues

163

More on Living Wills and Advance Directives

169

Legal Concerns Before, During, and After Death, by Alex Halpern, JD

173

Wills

175

Disposition of Property

178

Trusts

178

The LivingWill and the Medical Power of Attorney

180

Demystifying Hospice: An Underused Service at End of Life, by Beth Patterson, MA, LPC, JD

184

The History of the Hospice Movement

184

The American Hospice Movement and the Medicare Hospice Benefit

185

Buddhism and the Hospice Movement

186

The Services of Hospice

187

What Does hospice Care Look Like?

188

The importance of Managing Pain

189

Conclusion

190

8. CARING FOR THE DYING

191

The Need of the Dying, by Christine Longaker

191

The Five Psychological Stages of Dying and Medical Issues Around Death, by Mitchell Gershten, MD