Tough session

Okay i opened up more but now feel very nauseous like why did i open this door. Therapist kept using that word I wish i told him to stop saying it it makes me sick. Ihope i don't have nightmares tonight. I have decide like before its time perhaps to change or run again stupid emotions coming back
session are only going to get tougher and i don't know if i have it in me but i know it has to be done somehow to get past all this BS.

Okay in session under control now little pangs of pain come in jolts trying not to think keeping busy. Why is it i can keep control in therapy keep my composure and then afterward seems like word stuck in my head and i don't want it there god how do you stop replay of what went through therapy
next time no words no saying things god i kept myself together then why is it hard to do now Thinking maybe not a good idea to do this getting frightened now what night time will bring. I have to become someone else thats all pretend again not let past overwhelm me right I did this before changed stop remembering i can do this now just change again right.

Hey Violet.. maybe you could let your therapist know all of this? If you think you're going to have a difficult time verbalizing what you're trying to say, maybe you could even just print out what you've written here, because I think you've articulated it perfectly.

I don't know your situation or what door you've opened with your therapist, but unfortunately I do think that in order for you to heal you'll need to work this out, even if it causes more pain at the moment. However, maybe your therapist is moving too quickly and could slow it down a bit? Or maybe it would help for him/her to avoid using certain words that make it difficult for you?

I guess my major advice is to keep going to therapy.. but definitely let your therapist know how you feel! And *HUGS*!!

feel its time tired depressed want to leave trust him but not me
lost a little calf the other day bull stepped on him told hubby to move calf but he didn't funny how the weak get trampled on how hard they try to survive but then fate takes over and gone no more little calf
i am tired oh god so tired sad depressed so fff tired all the time
why didn't he just move the calf when i said but he knows everythng i hate this feeling i hate being weak near the end again don't even see me
rambling now but understand more and more there is no place for weak and sensitve no place to survive for the life of me i try i gave it a good fight all these years but im tired whycan't i just sleep i need to go away the word is just a word but my mind is tired of its games let me go please god
im tired tired no longer can i be strong.