Consciousness-raising and snappy comebacks

Drying off water with a towel when you have baby oil on is SUPER easy, all you have to do is pat dry really. But after that, DRY OFF… lay in front of a fan for about five-ten minutes, and let the air get to all your parts. Eagle-spread, bottom in the air, on each side stretched so the fan hits any creases there and your armpits, on your back with your boobs pulled up… kinda like a rotisserre chicken, only moving slower and pausing.

Commenters discuss what works and what doesn’t work for them, then one commenter adds:

And yes, this IS the first time I have entered into a discussion with anyone about big-girl-grooming. Maybe its something one should cover more often, but I don’t know that many other women.

When I read that, I realized that every woman has her own hygiene routine, and it’s true—we don’t really talk about them. The only other woman’s routine I know is my sister’s. She is thin (FWIW), and her routine involves a lot of shaving, a lot of lotion, and some OCD elements. I personally am a big believer in post-shower baby powder (the kind with cornstarch) and my new favorite discovery, scrubby bath gloves. I also use a lot of towels, since I find damp towels creepy. So there you go: I have my own OCD elements.

Anyway, then The Rotund talked about her routine and some of the larger implications:

In any event, I don’t think fat hygiene is all that different from the hygiene practiced by thin people. What I DO think is that many, many, several fat people are so disconnected from their bodies that taking care of them in that kind of way is not a priority – or they activelly don’t believe they are worth the time and effort or they are so disgusted with their own bodies they actively avoid being naked with themselves…

However, it’s an important topic – one of the coded things that people mean when they say fat is “smelly.” And when people have folds of skin, it can increase the chances of your body smelling different from someone else’s body… This sort of thing is super individual. If you sweat more than I do, you might feel a lot more attached to your deodorant, for example. That’s cool. There is not one right way to do any of this. Also: the value of a person is not dependent on their aroma. Even if you do wind up stinky, you are still a valuable and worthwhile person, okay?

It makes for an interesting and worthwhile discussion, with plenty of frank talk about specific issues fat people tend to have in taking care of their bodies. It can make you feel targeted merely to admit that, yeah, you have more flesh than someone else might have, and therefore need a different care routine. But if living with other women has taught me anything, it’s that we’re all pretty individual and “weird” about our own personal routines. (Suddenly I’m flashing back to Charlotte from Sex and the City, examining her pores for an hour per night in a magnifying mirror.) So what are your thoughts on hygiene? And what’s your routine?

53 Responses to Fat Hygiene

Hi Anon.! If you’re still reading, I wanted to put in my two cents on the tampon question.

I can think of no reason that tampons wouldn’t work for larger women. Being bigger does not mean that you bleed more, or that your vaginal muscles are weaker.

If you have never used a tampon before, here’s a bit of advice: follow the instructions on the package, and make sure the tampon is inserted all the way! If a tampon feels uncomfortable or painful, there’s a good chance it just isn’t pushed in far enough.

Like many of the folks here, I prefer menstrual cups to tampons. However, I use a disposable cup, not a reusable one.

They cotton fibers in tampons can irritate delicate vaginal tissues, so the cup is a more comfortable option for some women.

The only potential disadvantage of the cup is that you need to actually reach into your vagina for insertion and removal. Depending on your size and shape, that might pose a challenge. If you choose to try a menstrual cup, I recommend making sure you can easily insert and remove it before you hit the beach.

TMI warning: I have to fish around for my “instead” cups a lot more than the package directions suggest, because I have tiny hands, with very short fingers. And I never use tampons, because they irritate my delicate insides. And I’m of medically “normal” weight, and wear a size 10. So if you have trouble with any menstrual product, know that you’re not alone, and that this doesn’t just happen to big women. Menstruation is an adventure, at any size.

I have been as heavy as 295 lbs and I don’t know if I have ever used a pad during my period. I think they are gross. I did use pads after giving birth because it can introduce infection to insert anything in the vagina immediately postpartum. I used tampons in the past and most recently have used a DivaCup, which I highly recommend. I shopped around and got it for under $20 including shipping.