Blog Archive

11/16/07

I have been doing "the online dating thing" for a month. I think I'm the authority in online dating now. Here are some tips for you guys in the online dating scene.

1. Post your picture. I never answer email of a guy with no picture. I know, I'm shallow. Also, make it a recent picture not a picture you took in the eighties or have a picture and then say "This is an old picture. I have lost 75 lbs since then." Yeah, right.

2. Get a good picture. I'm not saying that you have to get a professionally done portrait, those look cheesy anyway, but come on! In a picture that you are standing 30 feet away, I can't see your face. Take off the sunglasses. Everyone looks good in sunglasses. I know that you love your car, and your Harley, and your gun, and the big turkey you just killed but they don't need to be in every picture. Photos taken with a crappy cell phone are not acceptable and don't use a picture where you have clearly cut out your ex.

3. Don't put in your profile "I don't know what to say here. If you have any questions, just ask." If I had to ask everything to every guy I'm interested in, this would have to turn into a full-time job. And don't say "I'm an easy going laid back guy." If I see that one more time, I'm going to throw up. Or "I'm looking for a friend. Maybe more later with the right person." Don't lie, dude. You are in a dating site.

4. Use your spell checker! The misspellings make you look dumb. DON'T WRITE EVERYTHING IN UPPER CASE LETTERS. don't write sentences in all lower case letters. I'm going on a date with a guy that can write complete sentences with no misspellings. He must be a keeper.

5. There is no need to mention every sports team you like, what brand of car you drive or what model is your bike is. Remember, you are talking to girls here.

6. Don't say anything overly sexual like " I have a big one for you, baby." Unless that is what you are looking for. Wait... scratch that one. Of course that is what you are looking for.

7. Read the profiles, don't just look at the pictures. Ok, I'll admit it. I look at the pictures too but I always read the profile before sending an email.

8. This last tip is for dating in general. If you go out with a girl and you are not interested, don't say you'll call back if you are ot going to.