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Don't Wait! Computers Are Standing By!

Posted on June 13, 2014

Today’s lesson, children, concerns procrastination. Can we all say it together? Procrasti…no, I’m sorry. I should have mentioned that if you read this while you eat breakfast, you should swallow your Grape Nuts before trying to say a new word. I’ll wait while you clean off the screen.

Procrastination is the art of putting off ‘til tomorrow anything that would really be tedious to do today, and it is usually a very bad thing. I am one of the world’s master procrastinator’s and I should know. Procrastination is the thief of time, a source of sorrow to your friends and loved ones, and so on. (I’ll finish that sentence next week, when I’m more in the mood.) SOME procrastination is good: if you postpone shooting someone until the weather is just right, or if you hold off donating your collection of back issues of the Lindsay Lohan Fan Mag to a local Book Fair, you have decided correctly.

But in general, procrastination is quite evil, and you want to avoid it. This is actually not about getting your books and records in to the Book Fair. You have NOT been putting that off, doggone it. Thirty boxes just yesterday, and a couple dozen bags, as well. If you wanted something to put off….

Are you giving thought to the future, though? What about Preview Night, 2014? Have you sent in your gift to the Newberry which will allow you to join the early birds on July 23? You must be an Associate at the Author Level or above. You needn’t have written anything. (Somebody offered to send me their resume so I could decide whether they were author material.) You just need to have donated a minimum of $100 to the Newberry.

‘Tis true: we do have mighty minions waiting on the day to take your money, but that can waste precious minutes when you could be hunting for that elusive copy of The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Why not pay up now, and attend Preview Night worry-free?

You can do it online, y’know, on this very webpage. Slide your little arrow (oh, all right: cursor) along the tabs under “The Newberry” until you reach one called Support. A drop-down menu featuring the words “Donate Now” will appear. Click on that one and follow directions from there.

It’s kind of fun, really. You don’t have to donate the whole hundred dollars at once. You can pick four friends and donate $25 in honor of each of them. Your donation adds up to $100, so you get the benefit, and you get to shout howdy to some buddies of yours. You can donate in memory of the late, great Book Fair Curator Evelyn J. Lampe, or in memory of Marjorie Preston, who taught the City Council to spell “cat”, or in memory of Katherine D. Lewis, who once suggested we buy a library in another state as a memorial to a legendary staff member (we didn’t do it). You can donate in honor of your favorite author, your favorite Muppet, or even in honor of Uncle Blogsy’s poetry. As long as your card is valid and the donation adds up right, you get the Wednesday Privilege.

(For those of you of, shall we say, the frugal persuasion, who want to point out that you bought a year’s Associateship last year on opening night, which was only 364 days prior to this year’s opening night, please read the fine print on your Associates’ card. Payments are good for just one Book Fair. Somebody—LOTS of somebodies–already thought of that.)

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