Farmers incensed by threat of Google Field View ramblers

Farmers and landowners across the length and breadth of Britain are joining forces against the internet search engine giant, Google. The move comes after reports that the Company intends to deploy thousands of ramblers into the countryside to capture the corner of every field, the depth of every forest and the extent of every footpath on specially designed head-cameras.

Ramblers will be provided with state of the art bobble-hat-technology known as 'Ramblercams' to map out the by-ways and bridle-ways of Britain.

A spokesperson for the Rambler's Association said, "We are very excited to be involved in this initiative which will allow our members to penetrate even further into the countryside. Google has cleverly designed cameras to fit every kind of hat from the popular bobble through to beanies, tilleys and straw gamblers. Our members can't wait to get out into the field to test them out."

But farmers have been more negative in their responses as indicated in a questionnaire sent out to them by DEFRA. Returned forms have illustrated death threats ranging from straight forward shooting, to electrocution, the laying of silage-traps and combine harvester 'mishaps'. As a result ramblers have been warned to be on their guard.

One Dorset farmer who did not wish to be identified said, "It's bad enough seeing a group of twenty or thirty townies tramping across your field and pointing ruddy sticks in the air at every passing cloud and blackbird. If they've got cameras on their heads an' all then that's a step too far for the fuckers. They're fair game as far as I'm concerned, especially while the deer-stalking season's still on."

Some opposition to the scheme has also come from other quarters. The Dorset and District Doggers Association has petitioned its local council to ensure that the use of night-vision cameras are not used by ramblers unless they are also members of the DDDA.