"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."
~Reverend Ray Mummert

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

As A Baby He Was Shaken, Not Stirred

We're not generally in the business of giving advice to the Teabaggers. After all, when you put as much thought and analysis into your positions as they do, craft your message with such expertise, and broadcast it with cutting edge technology, what is there to give advice about? Well, OK spelling, but that's a minor quibble in the overall drive to keep the government from taking over medicare.

Still, we ran across this floating by on the interwebz and it occurred to us that maybe a word or two of helpful suggestions might be in order.

Former Tea Party Express spokesman Mark Williams, who stepped down from the group after making a series of racist remarks, has a plan to "infiltrate and sabotage" the Obama campaign by volunteering as a campaign worker.

Now, Mr. Williams, we don't mean to pass ourselves off as experienced covert agents or anything--although we have seen all the James Bond movies. And by all, we mean all with the real James Bond--Sean Connery. As for the rest, POSEURS!! We mean, Timothy Dalton?!!?! What, was Carrot Top unavailable? And this latest guy...he plays Commander Bond like our butts chew bubblegum.

Where were we? Oh yeah, "infiltrate and sabotage." See, Mr. Williams, the first rule of "infiltrate and sabotage" is don't talk about "infiltrate and sabotage." When you tell someone you're going to "infiltrate and sabotage" their organization, you're not infiltrating or sabotaging anymore. You're just some drunk who crashes the party and pees in the punch bowl.

It is the duty of every American Citizen to do everything within their power to disrupt and defeat the domestic enemy that currently occupies the corridors of power in Washington and a dangerous number of state capitols," Williams continued.

Oh, you're talking about Republicans. We though you were talking about Obama. OK then, infiltrate and sabotage away.

The plan is simple: President Obama launched his reelection campaign Monday, which includes a web page to sign up to be a volunteer. Williams signed up, and told TPM that he's going to "work from the inside to disrupt and derail" the campaign.

So you were talking about Obama. Gotcha. That part about the state capitols threw us off there what with Obama being president and all. You know, one guy living in the White House. In Washington D.C. Not the capitol of any state.

Williams also told TPM that he's not worried the Obama campaign will get wise to his scam, even though he posted about it on a public website: "I don't think they're anywhere near that bright, based on the President's performance over the past few years."

Umm...this from the guy who said the NAACP makes more money off of race than any slave trader ever did? Stupid is as stupid does, Mr. Williams. Just saying.

"Eerily enough the Obama campaign web site automatically filled in my home address when I entered my email address. I say "eerily" because I used an AOL address that I keep as a SPAM catch all and have never used to contact the campaign or the White House. I wonder how they had my home address?" Williams wrote on his blog.

We're with you there, Mr. Williams. We've long suspected that Form Auto Fill was some sort of nefarious government plot.