A very wise man once opened me up to the notion of time, risk, and money being pretty much plagues brought on by society. I’m focusing on time currently, because I feel that it’s the easiest to move away from the standards with.

A few nights ago, I took the clock out of my room. I’ve looked at those red numbers my entire life. Them staring back at me, filling me with anxiety about not being able to fall asleep or having school the next day, or something important that required rest. I used to picture a long black freight train coming at me, fast and loud, yet somehow moving slowly at the same time through an orange desert. It seemed as if it would fall of the tracks barreling toward it’s destination. I assume it was my mind’s way of expressing anxiety to me when I couldn’t fall asleep as a child. I finally got rid of the train.

So far on these first few nights without a clock, I’ve fallen asleep easier, woken up easier, and generally stopped worrying so much about deadlines of things. Although deadlines are still important, and I’m on top of them, it’s nice not to be constantly pressured by those red eyes. Sleep is such good medicine, and it should be a meditative and restorative experience, not a chore, or something to pass time.

If your reasoning for not sleeping restfully is because of an uncomfortable mattress, wouldn’t you do what you could to remedy that? If it’s not the right temperature where you sleep, wouldn’t you add or remove covers or change the thermostat? If a cause of dissatisfaction with your quality of sleep is associated with something as simple as a clock is the issue, why wouldn’t you remove it? If you’ve tried everything else, but the numbers still keep you awake (even if you’re not aware of them doing it), take the clock out of your room for a little while. You may never re introduce it into your sanctuary.

Every school morning I set my alarm for the moment the sun will rise on my phone, which I moved to the other side of my room so the waved aren’t directly next to my head like they used to be. I think it’s a natural instinct to wake up with the sun. Closed curtains, and closed windows are the culprit for oversleeping and imbalance of sleep cycles. We are creatures of nature, and therefor should strive for longevity through instinct. I also strongly agree with the technological interference of sleep patterns.

Tomorrow is a big day for a lot of things. One of them being immediate change, and another one being moving even further toward my eventual evolution.

Tomorrow I get dreadlocks. 9 hours of my life, in a windowless shop. They do have two guinea pigs though, which I absolutely love and look very much forward to holding. Now before I go on, I’d like to say that I’m very aware of the fact that the outside doesn’t have to match the inside, and what you look like is only .1% of who you are, but…

My dreadlocks are a huge milestone in my forward positive migration. I’m learning myself now more consistently than ever. While physically, I’ve recently been at a slight standstill, my mindset gets clearer and healthier every day. To me the dreads are going to be a test of patience, confidence, and self growth all together. Mostly patience due to the fact that I know I’m prone to having hair meltdowns when I make hair changes, and dreadlocks are a MAJOR hair change. I want to get better about my quick snaps of panic and anxiety. All I want is to be chill, chill like my people. I over think everything. The confidence factor is finding confidence from within rather than only the exterior. There’s a good chance that I won’t be as pretty with dreadlocks. It’s hard to write since I want everything to be great and fun and pretty, but I don’t have the thickest hair and I could very well regret a lack luster mane. In which case, I’d have to relight a confidence from inside myself to carry my ugly hair around with my head held high. Another thing is the fact that people are going to judge me. A LOT. My conservative town isn’t gonna give me a second look after they see my hair, on the bright side though, that weeds out the sum of my city and filters the positive tribe into my life. All of the people close to me know and support me in my dreadlock decision, and that’s what matters to me.

I’m going to not only change my hair, but implement some new thinking into my life. I’m a very “start date” kind of person. I have to pick a day or time and then do something then. The right now random day approach messes with my brain. (another thing I’m working on) but nonetheless, I’d fancy adding another aspect of chill to my mind. It’s vague, but that’s because not even I know exactly what it is yet.

I’m going to jump back on the clean eating train. I’ve definitely been slacking, but I feel gross, my skin is angry, and I quite frankly want to lose weight. I’ll elaborate on my diet in another post.

The beginning of 2017 has come with a good bit of positive growth. I’m happy with the direction I’m headed mentally, and physically. If this trend continue, I’ll be ideal by this time next year, but if I’m not that’ll still be okay. Superficial things aren’t the focus of life, so don’t get caught in the trap that social media creates. I didn’t make a resolution, because there shouldn’t be a set time to start moving in a positive direction. Every day is a new beginning, so focus on today. The only thing you should be planning ahead for is your next adventure.

Adventure- I went skiing with a very special person without adult supervision for the first time, then got snowed in at his house and got to have a two night consecutive sleepover, where he, me, and several friends played like little kids in the hills of the cow pasture next door.

Quote- “her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end”

Back in November I discovered the trend of no poo. Being a greasy teen, I was unsure if this would work for me. Honestly, I’m still unsure.

(I was going to put a picture here, but I don’t have any good ones from my no poo phase)

Negatives

Anyway, I wore it up a lot, due to the fact that it almost always looked like I poured a bottle of olive oil on my head. The only time it was presentable was after I took a shower and really worked the grease through my hair. When I’m really needing a shower, my head gets really itchy. I also noticed that It took FOREVER to dry, even longer than my usual two hour air drying hair, and since I don’t use heat, I really have to plan out my showers! My mother said she noticed that dirty hair smell, but I still never have, but she isn’t on board with a whole lot of my hair choices, so I feel like whatever I do she won’t totally agree with.

Positives

I got those icky negatives over with, so here are the pros. A lot less than the negatives , but I think that they’re more important than the little inconveniences of overly shampooed hair so the pros, in my opinion, are worth more than the cons. first one being, I didn’t have to buy shampoo, so that was nice. Along with the fact that traveling with one less bottle was extremely efficient. I still use conditioner, but there was one very greasy time when I got away without using any products, which I was very proud of. My hair is much healthier also, which is what I was after. Actually no, I kind of just wanted to see what would happen, but it did get healthier.

The way you eat really affects the oiliness of your head and skin, so raw vegans have an easier time, than Atkins diet followers. I’d recommend giving it a shot, but just like dreads, you have to be patient and give your hair time to readjust to it’s natural state. Everyone is going to be oily at first, and there’s no exact amount of time that it will take for you to adjust. You’ll never know if you don’t try.