Finally, at long last, and by popular demand, Arthur Foot III presents his greatest poems from his legendary performances with The Cogkneys, plus many poems that have never been performed... More > anywhere.
Featuring Trousers, Oh! Those Naughty Tentacles, The German Inventrix and many more.
Yes, now you can enjoy My Fabulous Erection whenever you like!
(Tilly Maydme, Arthur's cockney sparrow sidekick also has a piece or two in there.)< Less

WARNING: UNSUITABLE FOR PRE-TEENS & PRUDES.
On this third adventure into the alternative reality that is Hamster-Britain we meet Sorbresto Titt - the Psychic Historian of the title. Boney Legge -... More > owner of The Where House - has employed the powerful alien psychic to sample the DNA of the inhabitants of Hamster Heath so that he might access their genetic 'memories', and thereby discover exciting tales of derring-do experienced by their ancestors. And by transmitting the images of those adventures on to a huge video screen, he can share them with the populace of the whole town. And what tales they are too: Unbelievable tales: Tales of invasion, royalty, volcanic eruptions, ethnic cleansing, soul music, genocide, Chinese restaurants, and all that sort of stuff. Naturally they are told in the worst possible taste - with plenty of nudity, private parts, and breaking of wind. A perfect book for very silly people.< Less

WARNING: UNSUITABLE FOR CHILDREN AND PRUDES. CONTAINS HIGH DEGREE OF RUDENESS.In this second book from the Hamster-Sapiens series, we follow the adventure of a plump female hamster named Joan, whose... More > latent psychic talent is suddenly unleashed during an experiment at the Institute of Hugely Important Studies, and allows the young custard pot leveller to step through the invisible barrier between realities. She finds herself the unwitting catalyst for rebellion in a medieval version of Hamster-Britain that is ruled by the iron paw of the church.< Less

WARNING:UNSUITABLE FOR PRUDES AND CHILDREN. In this fifth book of the Hamster-Sapiens series, we spy upon the folk of Hamster Heath as they conduct their annual pilgrimage to Danglydong Dell, in... More > which especially chosen citizens are invited to read from their diaries - and in doing so relate great tales of derring-do from the past year. And what tales they are; tales that make Alice in Wonderland look like a walk in the park. Includes the sequel to Fanfare for the Common Hamster. Prepare yourself for ribaldry!< Less

Warning: This photonovel is extremely ribald, rude, possibly puerile, and slightly unsavoury at times. Unsuitable for children and stuffed shirts. In this third book of three, The five Earplug... More > Brothers, Rudi, Valentine, Chester, Miles, and Magnuss visit the wondrous Museum of Future Technology - a vast emporium of artefacts from the future that have been sent into the past for safe keeping. It is a fortuitous visit because, other than meeting girls and having a very interesting day, the five earplugs enjoy a shared telepathic link that proves very useful when the museum is attacked by an army of Unthreaded End Caps from Hyperspace.< Less

Warning: This photonovel is extremely ribald, rude, possibly puerile, and slightly unsavoury at times. Unsuitable for children and stuffed shirts. In this first of three books,The five Earplug... More > Brothers, Rudi, Valentine, Chester, Miles, and Magnuss visit the wondrous Museum of Future Technology - a vast emporium of artefacts from the future that have been sent into the past for safe keeping. It is a fortuitous visit because, other than meeting girls and having a very interesting day, the five earplugs enjoy a shared telepathic link that proves very useful when the museum is attacked by an army of Unthreaded End Caps from Hyperspace.< Less

WARNING: This book is rather rude in places, and includes swear words. Unsuitable for children and prudes.
Imagine a world much as ours, but upon which humankind never evolved. In their place the... More > Earplug stands atop the pedestal of life. Imagine the society that might have formed, and the adventures that might have ensued within it. Well you don't have to, because here is the tale of Lucifer Foghorn - a young male earplug that has been thrown out of the family home, and who has sought refuge inside The Legge’s Akimbo - a mysterious depository for all the alien artefacts discovered within the mighty walls of the legendary Area 99. Follow his adventures as he develops from a boring fart who likes nothing more than collecting plastic dildos - into a sort-of-hero-thingy that can step across the divides of time and inter-dimensional space!< Less

Warning: contains grand ribaldry and lots of rude silly stuff. Most unsuitable for children and adults of a sensitive disposition.
It's the day after the alien attack upon the Museum of Future... More > Technology, and already some strange things are beginning to happen. Rips in the fabric of space/time: abductions: and mind control of odd-bod perverts for starters. Or to put it simply - just another day at the office.< Less

In this sequel to Cometh the Earplug, Magnuss Earplug and his bounty hunter girlfriend, Hair-Trigger Provost, find themselves embroiled in another fight to save yet another Museum of Future... More > Technology in an another example of the many alternative realities of the Multiverse. This time though it's different: this time the earplugs are the bad guys. And all the young earplugs have to help them is an aging thespian with creaky knees who lives alone upon a mountain top! As per usual this book should be kept away from children under sixteen: the word 'penis' crops up more than once.< Less

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