Actually, there is one other difference! Yesterday, Gangsta not only 'agreed to disagree', but he had the guts to stand up and apologise for the offence he had caused to certain members and I had half hoped that he might get a response in kind, but all he got was a load of half baked 'excuses' for the offence they had certainly caused! Not a very good example to set to young people in my book! Very disappointing!

Touché. I don't want to start this up again. Whilst if I genuinely think that I am wrong, I will apologise unreservedly. What I won't do is fake an apology that I don't truly mean. To my mind that is a worse form of dishonesty and by default an even worse message to the young. It would also indicate a complete lack of respect.

I respect your views, but in this instance I think you are wrong. I could very easily have done a full "sack cloth and ashes job yesterday". Had I done so it would have been completely meaningless. There is and has been a great deal of provocation on this forum. Eventually I reacted. It might well be that in the future I realise that I did overreact. If that is the case an unreserved apology would be forth coming. With the greatest of respect this is simply and Internet forum. My own personal integrity is of far greater importance to me.

I have re-read your post, and I can see more of where you are coming from. However I will try to explain further.

When I wrote some of the things I wrote in the course of the fracas, they were completely pre-meditated. I wrote them knowing I was going to cause offence, and fully intending to do so. It happened after what I perceived to be a long period of provocation.

To my mind, it is trite, unconvincing, and too much of an easy cop out to turn round less than 24 hours later and say "sorry mummy I didn't mean to be unkind".

The moving finger writes, and having writ moves on etc, etc.

Or as a wise old aunt of mine once said. "Talk is cheap, apologies cost nothing".

In my time on this forum, many people have said many incredibly offensive things to each other in the heat of the moment. Not all of them have been subsequently apologised for. Not should they have been.

Apologising for giving offence now, to me would smack of our idiot politicians deliberately doing wrong doing, saying sorry and thinking that it puts everything right. It doesn't to me.

I probably haven't explained myself very well, but at least I have had the guts to try. I really will leave this subject alone now, given I think the embers are still glowing and it still has the potential to burst into flames again. That is not to say I won't come back to it at a later date.

Your aunt was right about the talk, but wrong about the apologies........They 'always' come at a price and that price is called 'swallowing your pride' and 'taking responsibility for your bad behaviour'.....now 'that's' what takes guts! So as I said before........therein lies the difference! That's my last word on this subject!

I don't believe in false apologies either if it means apologising for any genuinely held belief. But I find it difficult to accept that you would not apologise for any offence caused by your intemperate language. My last word on this subject.

Hi linda happy new year we were supposed to be having a "quieter" new year this time so we just went round to friends house but oh ny god! Im soo hungover today we partied till 4am then couldn't get a cab home so had to kip there. I awoke with all my clothes on, contact lenses in and my false lashes still superglued on lol havent been out of bed all day and ive only just had my new years steak pie ten minutes ago at 10-30 what about u??

Haha! Na.. had a fairly quiet one. Just went to the local Scottish pub and brought in the New Year there at 7pm (midnight with you) then we went home and replied to a Skype from one of our oldest and dearest couples from back home for about an hour. That was a good laugh. Then, was fast asleep by 10pm

You sound like me back in the day.. but that was a l-o-n-g time ago. But then.. you are younger than me, quine.

Haha! Na.. had a fairly quiet one. Just went to the local Scottish pub and brought in the New Year there at 7pm (midnight with you) then we went home and replied to a Skype from one of our oldest and dearest couples from back home for about an hour. That was a good laugh. Then, was fast asleep by 10pm

You sound like me back in the day.. but that was a l-o-n-g time ago. But then.. you are younger than me, quine.

Thats me off it till February linda, its been a long time since I felt this bad

P.s I have a new job already! It can only be temporary for me as the hours wont be enough for me. Monday till friday 9-3 but it will bring some money in just now whilst I look for something more suitable. That way I get too keep my redundancy money from last job to spend on tennis tournaments