Let’s Have a Loud Conversation At The Stadium Urinal Trough!

By Jim Spetzko, Local Baseball Fan
Hey, Mike!Mikey!I gotta piss!You gotta piss?Let’s piss together!At the stadium urinal trough!And let’s talk while we do it!Let’s talk CRAZYLOUDANDSHIT!
It’s gonna be awesome!I can tell you how many beers I’ve had!I’VE HAD AT LEASTFIVE!I’VE GOT A BUZZ!LET’S GETMORE, SO THAT WE CAN BE MOREBUZZED!CAN YOUBELIEVEHOWMUCHBEERSCOSTHERE?LET’S TALKABOUTHOWMUCHTHEBEERCOST!
Let’s stand right next to each other at the trough and talk louder than anyone else in the bathroom, so that people know we’re having a good time!I can check other scores on my Blackberry and then relay those scores to you!Dude, the Yankees are up by five!THEY AREPLAYINGSOMESICKBALLRIGHTNOW!
Oh, man.There aren’t two adjacent open spots at the urinal trough!Let’s piss on opposite sides of the trough and STILLTALK TO ONEANOTHER!Let’s be so loud that anyone trying to urinate between us gets stagefright and can’t piss at all until we leave!Let’s see if we can make their bladders shrink to the size of a golf ball!BRO, I GOTTATELLYOUABOUTTHISCHICK I BANGEDLASTNIGHT!HER FATHER’S DEADANDTHATMADETHESEXYCRAZYGOOD!
Hey, here comes our third loud friend!And he has to piss too!Let’s finish pissing and then linger behind him while he pisses and yells back at us over his shoulder!That way, people still trying to piss at the stadium trough will still be unable to function!At all!Let’s see if their excretory systems eventually explode, flooding us all in a pool of blood and urine!They’re probably hoping we won’t notice that they can’t piss.LET’S POINTTHATOUT TO THEM SO IT TAKESTHEMEVENLONGER TO GETTHEIRURINEFLOWING!HEY BUDDY, YOUKNITTING A SWEATEROVERTHERE?!
Let’s get nachos and hang out in here the rest of the game!I’M IN NO HURRY OF ANYSORT!I’M FINEWITHEXITINGTHEBATHROOMMORESLOWLYTHAN A SLUGCHOPPED IN HALF!THIS IS A GREATTIME!
I THINK I HAVE TO PISSAGAIN!