Monday, January 24

I should have blown Pommer before!

Seriously, Martinez has sunk to the level I once wanted him to be at. He's volunteered to "let me give him a blowjob" - he even wants to read this diary now! I let him read my messages between Pommer and I, so now he's got it confirmed. He's trying to use it against me, to blackmail me, to get this link out of me. First I considered it. But I know I can't give it to him. He won't treat it with respect and it'll be a fatal disaster if he found out - well, everything.

Today.. Wow. From the A-class we were only 6. Martinez, Morten, Lino, Kasper, Ghadir and me. Martinez immediately started teasing me with Pommer. I denied as I promised I would, but still I couldn't help but laugh at his stupidity.. and jealousy.

He has never spoken to me that much before, as he did today. He got thrown out of math class because we were talking too much! And it's RYAN who's our teacher!

During the last class (where I by the way only got 10 for my essay..!) he was really desperate. He started stealing my mobile, and then he wanted to read my diary. He couldn't give me a good reason to anything. He said that if I didn't give him this link, he'd tell everyone about Pommer.

"You actually owe me one." Martinez said, with every piece of his mind on a blowjob. I was completely in shock, I just reminded him of his reason for me not giving him a blowjob. "Well, I couldn't just do it like now or something... It's different because when you're drunk you can't regret it" or something like that.Half joking, I said "Well then, when's the next time we'll get drunk together?"

He just laughed. I'm serious, what is he thinking?

He was like an electrical hair - sticking to me - on my way home. Talking, pushing, laughing, joking, teasing whatever that boy could do.

Top 5 of things Martinez cannot read:

I got a great suspicion that Martinez is actually jealous. Just like he was when Hulya said I had a boyfriend.

I know I promised you that I would get over Martinez. I know I said I was over Martinez. It tortures me to admit this to myself and to you (cause I know every single one of you wants me to forget about him) but I'm not 100% over him.

The following of:Let's pretend that this is Martinez, and that he is sitting in front of me. Everything I say to him won't leave this room, and he's forced to listen. What would I say?

When I was done talking to Rikke, Hulya pushed me aside and told me, that she'd told Martinez that it was my BOYFRIEND who had called. Martinez had said "She's got a boyfriend?" and then he'd looked at me, and had gone all quiet.

Last night I went to the gasstation with Lea from my class. I told her about my feelings towards Martinez, how I felt, how I thought and what I wanted from him. She was actually very, very helpfull. We talked it through, and it was really nice. We went back to my place, because she had to borrow a DVD. We saw that Martinez was online. Lea started writing him, telling him that she was another Lea, my friend from boarding school, who lived in Broenshoej.

I told him that the only way he could get to view the diary, was if I could be there while he read it. And we all know that's not going to happen, so... Tomorrow, he'll kill me with his teasings.