News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Its not often we compliment someone within the mafia, but hats off to this guy!

We love evil within the Mafia and no one strikes evil, cruel, frighting and infuriating like the local traffic warden, known locally as the four letter word beginning with “C” and ending in “T”. Mr C**T is an exceptional man who loves to keep the town clear of money spending. He enjoys sitting there raising the blood pressure of every citizen in the square, causing anxiety among the community, what an evil example of humanity.

Mr C**T loves spending time with his family, going on holidays and parking responsibly whilst paying the correct fee. Mr C**T has never been late leaving a shop because of something out of his control, no, he’s absolutely perfect when it comes to this, and this is the example he wants from YOU, the muggle citizens of Holsworthy.

Mr C**T loves waiting for you to leave your car for more than 10 minutes, even if it is to get some change for the parking meter, because we don’t always have change on us. BANG, Ticket on your window and a nice £25 to come out of your pocket because thats how Mr C**T rolls. How cruel. You may have returned with your change, but once that ticket has been issued… Your F**ked.

Mr C**T loves parking his warden car on double yellows to issue a ticket to someone who is also parked on double yellows, but Mr C**T gets away with this.