30 Days of D/s “Dominance”

Day 1: What does Dominance mean to you?

Dominance- power and influence over others is how the dictionary would define it. However within the realm of BDSM Dominance takes on a much broader and deeper meaning.

I’ve often viewed Dominance as being the facilitator, the guide on the journey of kinky perversions. I’m there to listen to my submissives, and to breathe life into their fantasies.

Dominance also means patience, setting limits when appropriate and listening. I play with some heavy masochists and sometimes I need to be the one to set their limits within a scene. Dominance means I’m guiding the journey and if I want it to continue I need to do what I can to ensure my submissive is successful when we play. I do not set them up to fail.

It is important to also talk about what I DON’T believe to be Dominance. It is not taking advantage of others, nor is it mind-reading.

It is not exercising my will over others who have not given me enthusiastic consent.

It is an agreement between myself and the submissive that we will communicate as clearly as possible, help one another to explore our kinks, to build a relationship based on openness and trust.

While having that relationship may lead to power/ influence on a submissive’s choices the power and influence is earned. You cannot simply walk into a play party and label yourself Master of all before you.

Dominance means learning, it means practicing and it means time.

Taking the time to perfect your craft, earn respect and trust.

Dominance is part of a partnership built on trust and mutual respect.

It is an opportunity to grow and watch your submissive grow.

At times a submissive places their life in your hands you need to have the ability to keep them safe from injuries both physical and emotional. It is a huge responsibility. One not to be taken lightly but one to cherish.