Down With Renée

She had us all at citizen hello in Jerry Maguire, scored one for singletons everywhere in Bridget Jones's Diary, and floored audiences in fishnets in Chicago. Now, the awe-inspiring actress explore romantic game-playing in Down with Love. Read on as she chats about dating in Hollywood, her weakness for rock stars, and the one thing she'd dump a guy for.

Apr 16, 2003

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Cosmo: Are you more of a hopeless romantic or a realist like your Down With Love character?

Renée: I'm an extremist on both ends. Is that possible? I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love because I've experienced it.

C: What does your inner realist say?

R: I believe in love, but I'm not sitting around waiting for it. I buy houses. I travel. I take jobs on mountaintops in Transylvania [the Romanian region where Cold Mountain filmed]. I make decisions based on what I have now, today. Because I know that happiness comes in many ways and if you spend your life hoping to be found by or to find a significant other, you're going to miss out on all that stuff. And that's what makes you special and makes your life rich.

R: Am I? That's crazy to me. I've only dated one [Jim Carrey] fpr mpt even a year. And I was in England half that year.

C: Supposedly, you were engaged to him.

R: I know. The English papers wrote that I was propsed to in a West End restaurant with a ring, and they included the size and cost of the ring. But it was all made up. But it was all made up. I'd only been dating him for three months. As if I would consider marriage after only three months!

C: So you've never been engaged?

R; No. And I have a mythical relationship floating around right now—that's been floating around for a couple of years—that somebody made up and it just snowballed and kept going.

C: You mean George Clooney?

R: I don't talk about who [laughs]. I'm very good friends with a couple of celebrity men, and I see them a lot. But I haven't dated anybody, and I haven't had a boyfriend since that one [Carry].

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C: Okay, so your single. Do you want to get married?

R: I don't require it. If I met that best friend that I'm in love with, then sure. But otherwise, no. I do sit back sometimes and wonder about it. My girlfriend [Down With Love co-star] Sarah Paulson and I were lauging one day because we couldn't get over how gorgeous Ewan McGregor is. You just die when you see him.

C: He's married, right?

R: Yes, and he has this beautiful, clever wife and the most beautiful children you've ever seen. They're just to die for. And Sarah and I were like, "Wait a second! What's wrong with us? If a guy is making a list of things he's hoping for in a girl—beautiful, professional, self-sufficient, smart, funny, interesting—where are we on that list?

C: Did you go on more dates before or after you became famous?

R: Before. Because now no one asks.

C: Why not?

R: I don't know why [laughs]. I don't say, "Excuse me. I was wondering, has it crossed your mind to invite me to lunch? And if not, why not?" [More laughter]

C: But you should have no problem picking up guys.

R: I can't do that—go to a bar, meet a guy, get his phone number, and see what happens. It takes me a long time to get to know somebody, and I value friendship. I certainly don't want 90 guys to have my number and come to my house and know me intimately and then move on. There has to be a true connection or something that I admire in that person.

C: SO your memoirs won't be full of casual sex stories?

R: No, but I don't judge people who do it. If you're interest in that, then go for it. It's nice that women have the prerogative to chose. But I'd like to have nice conversations with a man that teach me something, make me mad, make me curious. And then I find him attractive.

C: What else attracts you?

It's always about heart and his ability to empathize. And he has to make me laugh, but in a smart way, not by putting himself on display or beingthe showy guy.

What about looks?

Sure, but you learn it doesn't matter. It's not a telltale. It's like credentials: "Oh, he went to so-and-so school?' But that doesn't mean he's smart.

Youre from Texas, where some men still open a woman's car door for her. Do you find modern chivalry charming or condescending?

R: Well, what are his intentions? I don't want somebody to open the door for me because he's trying to manipulate me. But I dated a guy once from the Carolinas. When I'd pull up, he'd automatically come out to help with groceries. That's sweet, because you generally do need and appreciate help bringing in groceries.

C: Speaking of old boyfriends, can you stay friends with an ex?

R: Oh, completely. One of my best friends is an ex-boyfriend. And I don't really think of him as an ex. It was just a process of getting to where we always needed to be. It's peprfect.

C: What traits in a guy would cause you to dump him?

R: To be dismissive of my dog [Woofer, a collie-golden retriver mix]. If she has to be sent away from the table, well, then he can't be across the table.

C: Anything else?

R: If he's disrespectful of the waiter or the busyboy, because it clearly means that his kindness is conditional and he divvies it up when it servesr him to be nice. And I don't need a guy who raises his fists for any reason, even to protect me. I need a guy who neutralizes the situation and takes us away from danger.

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C: Can I get your five best dating tips?

R: Wait. I want to talk more about my relationships with celebrity men. Who else do they say I'm dating?