~ Don't Touch the Pipebombs

Monthly Archives: July 2015

After 37 episodes of some of the best wrestling on television today, it all comes down to this. And by some of the best, I mean, the best. Because let’s be honest, it’s the best weekly wrestling show on tv today, even better than NXT. If you’re a wrestling fan that’s not watching Lucha Underground (and not because you don’t get the channel), I will now spend the next few moments staring at you judgmentally………..Okay, I’m done with that. But seriously, watch it. Find matches on youtube. If they put out the first season on dvd, buy it immediately. You want good wrestling, just watch this. And NXT. (If I watched NJPW I’m sure I’d also say them too. I’m watching ROH now but I’m struggling to get into it and I don’t pay for PPVs.)

Seriously, it’s so good that their WrestleMania type show which isn’t a PPV is getting predictions. A show that was taped in April is getting predictions. A show that happens over the course of two weeks’ worth of episodes, one being two hours long.

For those who have a hard time enjoying main roster WWE, there’s still plenty of other options, you just have to look for it. Seriously, Lucha Underground and NXT have brought me back to where I was as a wrestling fan when I first started watching in 2001, and what I consider my “glory days” as a wrestling fan from 2001-05 where I could just sit back and watch and enjoy it without trying to analyze every last little detail to determine whether I like it or not, especially Lucha Underground. With Lucha Underground you can just turn your brain off and enjoy it, NXT there’s still the sense of “Well when so and so is called up, he’s going to get treated as such and such,” no matter how good the NXT product is. Instead, a wrestler on LU can essentially be killed by an unseen monster-like man in a cage and it is accepted as part of a story, and there are seven aztec medallions that are basically dragon balls from DBZ because why not??

Texano vs. Blue Demon, Jr.This is the only match I’m not too thrilled about. Texano is really the only guy I haven’t really gotten into and Blue Demon has only been on the show at the beginning and at the end, and it’s been in a feud with Chavo. And you could probably see that Chavo was meant to be a part of this but unfortunately he suffered an injury. It hasn’t been much of a feud, so I don’t see why the win wouldn’t go to Texano.

Prediction: Texano

Cero Miedo Match
Vampiro vs. Pentagon, Jr.
Pentagon, Jr. has been one of my favorite competitors on this show since he debuted on it. Just everything about his promos, matches, and the whole CEEERRRROOOO MMMIIIIEEEDDDOOO deal is awesome. This match should be interesting as it’s Vampiro’s return to the ring (He’s a color commentator) and while I’m not familiar with his work, I’m very familiar with him from Chris Jericho’s first book. I’ve enjoyed his commentary despite what I’ve read in that book which was really the time I’ve heard of him. I assume it’s a hardcore type match so it should be good, and I would assume Pentagon will win.

Prediction: Pentagon, Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match
The Mack vs. Cage
“I’m not a man I’m a maccchhhhiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeee!” Cage (aka Lucha Lesnar) is awesome, ok? I had to do it. Cage has been one of my favorite performers on this show as well, and he only just barely got a match on this card. For a guy that looks like a jacked up version of a former supervisor of mine, he’s just as agile as most of the luchadores on this show. It’s a shock that he’s not in WWE to be honest. And the Mack is pretty good, too. And while this match just got thrown on last week, it’s not without a storyline.

Prediction: The Mack

Believer’s Backlash Match
Drago vs. Hernandez
This match is something like a match TNA did at a PPV quite a while ago called a Fan’s Revenge Match, where “fans” are around the ring with straps so that when a wrestler is thrown out there, the fans can beat them with the strap until they get back in. Drago is awesome and this is the best I’ve ever seen Hernandez as a singles competitor.

Prediction: Drago

Gift of the Gods Championship Match
Bengala vs. King Cuerno vs. Sexy Star vs. Big Ryck vs. Jack Evans vs. Fenix vs. Aero Star
This match is going to be crazy. Gift of the Gods is a title belt containing all seven of the medallions – the “dragon balls” if you will – and together, they give the holder a Lucha Underground Title match whenever they want, only they have to request it a week in advance. So it’s somewhere in between Money in the Bank and Option C. My favorites in the match is King Cuerno, and I hope he becomes a bigger part of season two because he seems to have disappeared in the last third of this one. I’ve only gotten to see Bengala a couple times but I like him. I never thought I’d be able to watch Ezekiel Jackson and like him but as Big Ryck in Lucha Underground, I’ve been proved wrong. Fenix and Jack Evans are both awesome, and Sexy Star and Aero Star are both great. That said, Fenix is clearly the biggest deal in this match, so I pick him.

Prediction: Fenix

Trios Championship
(c) Angelico, Ivelisse, and Son of Havoc (c) vs. The Disciples of Death
Angelico, Ivelisse, and Son of Havoc have got to be my favorite thing in Lucha Underground. Angelico is just amazing and I love Ivelisse, and Son of Havoc is fun too. They’ve been my favorite thing on this show since they started fighting each other at the beginning of the year, and then when they became a trios team it was even better, and the night they won the trios titles is probably my favorite moment of this show. It was awesome. It’s one of those wrestling moments you always remember. Can we just establish that Angelico is insane? And while they’ve only been around a brief amount of time, the Disciples of Death are pretty cool too. This is probably going to be the best match on the show.

Lucha Underground Championship
Prince Puma (c) vs. Mil Muertes
And the main event, Prince Puma defends his title which he won at the first show of the year, against Mil Muertes, probably the best built monster character in years (Lucha Undertaker!). This match is probably going to be insane, and Mil will likely win the title I’m surprised he didn’t win the night Puma had won it himself.

Prediction: Mil Muertes

Some other questions I want to know if there will be answers to:

1) Will Pentagon, Jr.’s master be revealed?
2) Will we finally get a conclusion to the Black Lotus/Montanza story? If there isn’t a Montanza reveal then I will have a serious issue with this season.

So, Pay Per View of the year and it’s not close. Granted when most of your shows are shit, it’s not hard to say that when a good one comes along.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus was only average, which is about the best these two can do together, really. It was fine, but nothing memorable. I don’t understand how Orton gets Brogue Kicked and put in a Cloverleaf but is okay, then immediately hits an RKO for the win.

Rating: **1/2

The Prime Time Players defeated the New Day to retain the WWE World Tag Championship in a decent match. That one splash Big E did on the apron was impressive and I enjoyed the finishing sequence, although I still don’t like PTP.

Rating: **1/2

Bray Wyatt defeated Roman Reigns in a very good match, better than most expected I’m sure. That one counter Wyatt did of the apron dropkick was pretty awesome. To top it off, Luke Harper helps Wyatt win the match, so WWE may have figured it out that they shouldn’t have broken them up to begin with. Hurray.

Rating: ***

Charlotte defeated Brie Bella and Sasha Banks in a very good match – main roster women’s match of the year so far by miles. Definitely a good start to the “Divas Revolution,” and the right one at that. Charlotte got the submission victory over Brie which is what I was expecting. Now on to Paige/Nikki/Sasha at SummerSlam.

Rating: ***

John Cena defeated Kevin Owens to retain the WWE U.S. Championship in another very good match to no one’s surprise, although I’m a little miffed that Owens tapped out. I’m not angry that Owens hasn’t won the title yet – it isn’t a necessity – but I don’t like the tap out, really. I mean, I get it, he was basically dead – he kicked out of two F-U’s and a Super F-U. It’s taking Cena more and more to put him away each time. But the tapout was a little eh. Just the way it was done. He just kicked out of the Super F-U, then there was some time in between, and Cena just puts on the STF and it’s basically it. It could have been done better. But to those thinking Owens is “buried,” just fuck off. He looks better and better every time. Get over it and get over yourselves. Someone isn’t “done” just because your idiotic ass says he is. And you’re supposed to be the “smarks.” lol

Rating: ****

And finally, Brock Lesnar hit 13 suplexes on Seth Rollins and an F-5 before Undertaker returned and brought Taker to Tombstone City twice to end the show.

Rating: **

Overall I basically loved the show once Wyatt/Reigns started. The matches from there were good to great or at least had something amazing about them.

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Prime Time Players (c) (Darren Young and Titus O’Neill) vs. New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E)
My Winners: New Day
Probable Winners: Prime Time Players
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, Prime Time Players

This is a show I thought had good buildup but as it turns out there’s only five matches now that the IC Title curse has claimed another victim. Granted I wasn’t looking forward to that match anyway. That being said this is going to be a short post, probably. This show interests me mainly because I am going to be watching it on my phone, or at least attempting to, live from work. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m not going to talk about the joke of a preshow match. And if it’s not obvious, there will be more matches on this show. There has to be. There’s only five now. A Big Show vs. Miz match to make a #1 Contender wouldn’t surprise me since Ryback has a Staph Infection and needs a Z Pack. There had better be a Divas Title match where Paige wins the belt, there’s basically no excuse for there not to be now that the NXT Divas debuted. Something has to happen, and Team Paige vs. Team Sasha isn’t a good idea because then one or two of the NXT Divas will lose. Paige vs. Nikki with everyone else at ringside is basically a must. They didn’t announce anything so this basically has to happen this way, otherwise they’d have needed to announce some kind of tag match. Now that these divas are on the main roster, and are this far from SummerSlam, there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for Nikki’s title reign to break A.J.’s. None. Zero. None at all. There wasn’t one before that, either, but there’s even less of one now.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Least relevant match first. What is Orton’s purpose now, really? I mean, what does he do? And why is Sheamus the MITB holder? DOES ANYONE CARE??? Why is this match happening? Why do they hate each other? What purpose does it serve?

Prediction: Randy Orton (Because reasons)

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Prime Time Players (c) vs. New Day
Because the first match wasn’t bad enough. Why did PTP win the belts? Who even cared? Who cares about them now? Why have one of the hottest heel acts in the company lose their titles on a terrible PPV? New Day should really win, but I doubt it.

Prediction: Prime Time Players

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
They’ve done a fairly good job with this storyline, to be fair. It could be better – it could be more personal – but they’re at least trying. If they’re smart, Wyatt wins, so Roman can go over in the future and make it mean more.

Prediction: Bray Wyatt by DQ

WWE U.S. Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Kevin Owens
So basically, the question is, when will Owens win the title, Battleground or SummerSlam? It’s going to happen. The question is when. If he loses here, after losing at MITB and losing the NXT Title to Balor, then doesn’t win the NXT Title back, he’s going to look pretty bad before winning at SummerSlam. But if he wins here, but doesn’t win the NXT Title back at Takeover before SummerSlam, shouldn’t Balor be #1 Contender for the U.S. Title??

Prediction: Kevin Owens

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Brock Lesnar
So, Rollins is keeping the title somehow. Especially with these Undertaker rumors. Lesnar vs. Taker won’t be for a belt. But then what happens with Seth at SummerSlam? Is he still facing HHH or what?

Well, I didn’t think it was going to come to this, but it appears that there’s a need for this post. This post is needed so we don’t have delusional little nitwits thinking someone is better than someone else because they have a title reign that’s longer than the other one’s.

A lot of people have been dreading that Nikki Bella’s pathetic Divas title reign will outlast A.J. Lee’s. I, until recently, thought naively that that wasn’t going to happen. That there wasn’t a chance of it. Her act has been stale for months with nothing for her to do wit the belt, so certainly it couldn’t last four more months, right? RIGHT?

But it’s clear to me now, with this news that Sasha Banks and Charlotte are going to debut AT SummerSlam, that Nikki’s reign will break that record. It’d be nearly impossible for it not to. The reign will be broken on a PPV, and if I had to guess, it’ll be Paige, Naomi, and Tamina vs. Bellas and Alicia Fox at Battleground. So there goes that opportunity. And I’m assuming Sasha’s and Charlotte’s debuts would be in-ring debuts as tag team partners for Paige, and not just be random new support for Paige because no one else wants to help her. I assumed Charlotte was just going to win the title from Nikki at SummerSlam, but we’re bringing up two NXT women now. So unless it’s going to be a multi-woman title match, or some kind of three on three match with the belt on the line, we’re going to have the broken record. I don’t know the exact day it will break but it’s between SummerSlam and Night of Champions.

This is barring some unforeseen miracle, of course.

So what is this post exactly? It’s simple. A comparison of both title reigns. I don’t know all the categories involved because it’s kind of spontaneous. I know some of the things I’m going to talk about, I don’t know if there will be others.

A.J.’s 295 Day Divas Title Reign vs.Nikki’s >295 Day Divas Title Reign

How did the reign begin?

A.J.: A.J.’s title reign began at Payback 2013 in probably the best women’s match in recent main roster WWE memory, in the best women’s storyline in recent main roster WWE memory as well.

That can’t be argued. Women on the main roster for years have gotten shit for storylines and no time for matches. There have been very few storylines in the divas division this side of the last very good one, Trish vs. Mickie going into WrestleMania 22. Everything after that was dominated by the dreaded playboy push or just boring feuds between Laycool and whomever they felt like messing with, mainly Mickie James. Something would spark here and there, like Mickie vs. Melina vs. Beth Phoenix, but they’d last two months and fade away. The only stories of recent memory have been AJ vs. Kaitlyn, AJ vs. Total Divas/The World, Brie vs. Stephanie, AJ vs. Paige, Bella vs. Bella, and I guess Paige vs. Bellas now. The best stories are usually one on one, sometimes a third person is involved, but that’s it. And while AJ vs. Total Divas/The World was fun, that doesn’t count. As much as I want AJ vs. Paige to be the best, it didn’t turn out nearly as well as it deserved to have because it competed for time with two other diva feuds that didn’t belong. Most obviously, Bella vs. Bella was an absolute atrocity to humankind. I needn’t go into it. And while Stephanie vs. Brie had some good moments, it was just an extension of Bryan vs. HHH because Bryan was hurt, and Stephanie was too strong a heel for Brie to work off and still look good – it called for a strong female babyface that could talk on Stephanie’s level. (COUGH AJ COUGH). And Paige vs. Bellas has just dragged on an on and it’s boring at this point.

AJ vs. Kaitlyn on the other hand, was a story built over two years worth of time. Sure, not a lot of people would probably realize that, considering how they treat women in WWE in the modern era. The Trish vs. Lita storyline, everyone knew their beef no matter how much time passed between their matches and feuds and so on. A.J. and Kaitlyn, to the untrained eye, probably seemed like a two month feud. Maybe not even. I don’t remember when A.J. won the number one contendership, but it was before Extreme Rules 2013 and she didn’t have the title match until Payback. I don’t know what made them wait to do that match – perhaps it was Dolph Ziggler’s concussion – but it turned out well. AJ and Kaitlyn didn’t really do anything until a fight backstage at Extreme Rules, and then they did the secret admirer thing with Kaitlyn which turned out to be Big E/AJ messing with her. To the naked eye, one of the best women’s feuds in recent memory happened from two very well done segments, basically. But if you paid attention to their careers, and paid attention to social media, you knew there was a lot more history there. You knew AJ and Kaitlyn were in game show NXT season 3. AJ was touted as the next Mickie James. Kaitlyn won. They debuted on tv as a tag team called the Chickbusters. When A.J. started “dating” Daniel Bryan, and especially when Bryan started mistreating A.J., it caused a rift between A.J. and Kaitlyn. A rift that would continue to grow as time went on – these segments between them happened over time, and as A.J. became “crazy chick,” they would continue. Those who followed social media closely knew they were best friends, and also more of these altercations happened there as well. It got to the point where, when it was time for WrestleMania 29 and Kaitlyn was the champion, I wanted this match to take place there. I know few realize the history of this feud because I mentioned wanting this feud to the friend who got me into wrestling to begin with (in 2001), and he was like “Why? What reason is there for it?” And the match was so good. It was the first women’s match that actually told a story in years. Best women’s match ever? Probably not. (Especially not now when I’ve watched NXT.) But it was certainly a breath of fresh air. Did I mention I was there live in Chicago? Because I was. It was also A.J.’s first title win, which are usually the most special. And you can see in her celebration how much that moment meant to her. You know it’s special to someone when they cry. A.J. did, despite being a heel at the time. And she tattoed that date on her neck. The feud continued nicely, although I still would say this was their best match.

Nikki: Nikki’s title win came after the god awful Bella/Bella feud ended – or did it actually end? I don’t know. She won the match against Brie so Brie would be her slave for a month because why not, so the logic going into A.J. vs. Nikki for the title is “Oh, obviously Brie is going to help A.J. because the month is up.” Wrong. What followed at Survivor Series is one of the biggest atrocities in WWE history. The match lasts less than thirty seconds after Brie randomly kisses AJ to distract her, Nikki hits her weak ass forearm thingy we’re all supposed to believe is absolutely devastating when in reality she’s Nikki Bella and thus not that strong, hits her finisher and that’s it. Crickets. Beating A.J. for the title is fine. Just beat her in a real match. (I know A.J. left a month later to deal with an injury, so you do have to wonder if that played a role in how this turned out, but still.) You don’t do this kind of thing to your best wrestlers. It is absolutely inarguable that A.J. is at least the third greatest diva in WWE history. You can’t argue that. Only Lita and Mickie were better. Maybe not even Mickie. Paige isn’t there yet (but she is fourth best). Sasha and Becky have a chance to surpass her but they aren’t on the main roster yet. (I’d love to see people’s reactions to that statement if people ACTUALLY read my blogs, just for the lulz. I’m absolutely not saying it to troll, I am absolutely saying that because it’s absolutely true. I wonder what all those Trish marks are thinking. Trish’s overrated as fuck.) A.J. is unquestioningly a surefire future hall of famer. She should honestly go in next year. They would have another match at TLC…S and Nikki won via hairspray.

Title Defenses

A.J.: AJ defended the title a lot, against many different opponents. She really only had two storylines I would say, AJ/Kaitlyn, and then AJ/Total Divas/The World, but the second one branched out over months with multiple different opponents. After the Kaitlyn feud ended, she would drop the famous pipebombshell and feud with every member of total divas going forward. The “the World” part comes mainly from the WM30 match. She had a fatal 4 way at Night of Champions, two matches against Brie, two vs. Natalya, and one vs. Cameron before facing everyone at WrestleMania and winning. The thing about AJ’s reign was you thought it was going to end every time she defended it, at least after the Kaitlyn feud ended. WWE was all like “OMGZ TOTAL DIVAZ IS THE BEST THING EVER!” and everyone was just waiting for WWE to put the title on one of the Bellas to go with it. No matter who’s on the show, it’s obviously the Bellas’ show. Every time AJ faced one of them, especially a Bella Twin, everyone thought that was it. Before she managed to retain somehow. Maybe that lessened a bit after she finished with Brie at Hell in a Cell, but that didn’t change the sentiment. She didn’t defend at Survivor Series because they did a divas vs. total divas elimination match for lulz and the bellas gotta look strong. Then when she faced Natalya at TLC, you thought she was going to lose because of that Michelle Beadle thing where Beadle said something completely inappropriate and AJ went off on her, so you thought AJ would lose because of it. She didn’t, but you expected it. Didn’t defend at Royal Rumble because there were no women’s matches. She did have another match with Natalya on Main Event where you thought she’d lose because Punk walked out but it didn’t happen. She beat Cameron at Elimination Chamber because Cameron sucks and then beat everyone at Mania. A.J.’s title reign was awesome because it felt organic and that it could end at any time and you were just hoping “One more week come on!”

Nikki: Nikki’s title reign, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. It’s been like a long feeling of dread and just an overwhelming feeling of “She’s never going to lose that thing” despite having nothing else to do with it. She’s had the most protected title reign I’ve seen in recent memory, to the point where you almost have to wonder if she only re-signed with WWE under the condition that she gets a 300 day title reign. You hear now how they’re saying Nikki’s calling it her “Road to 300 days” right? Why 300, specifically? Shouldn’t you want it to be higher than that? At least say 365 for a year, you know? 300 is like passive aggressively saying road to “breaking A.J.’s reign.” And you know once they mention it on tv, it’s going to happen.

Her reign is so protected. She doesn’t even defend it on every PPV. She has to have a tag match against two people on one show, then cheat to retain the title at the next one. Wash, rinse, repeat. Paige/Natalya vs. Bellas at Rumble, Paige/Nikki at Fast Lane. AJ/Paige vs. Bellas at WM, Naomi/Nikki at Extreme Rules. Naomi/Tamina at Payback, Paige/Naomi/Nikki at Chamber. Then the trend broke a little. Paige has had several one on one shots and lost them all because of cheating. At some point in a storyline like that, PAIGE HAS TO WIN. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND BASIC STORYTELLING, WWE? After getting screwed out of the title three times, she has to WIN THE TITLE. She had to win at MITB. DUH. The title reign has been so ridiculous WWE can’t even tell stories properly.

Now we’re stuck in a SOMEONE HELP PAIGE storyline and it’s been dragging out weeks too long. Sasha and Charlotte should have debuted three weeks ago at this point to make this feud make any sense. But for whatever reason Naomi and Tamina are going to suddenly change their minds, team with Paige at Battleground, and they’re all going to lose. And instead of Paige getting a title shot or anything, she’s going to have to get Sasha and Charlotte to show up and team with her at SummerSlam, which is a month too late for anyone to really care. And who knows when Nikki will actually lose the belt. Nikki should have lost the belt to Naomi at Extreme Rules when they started to push her as a heel – they actually created something during this time for Naomi to do, actually got a push, and now that died quickly. Nikki has nothing left to do with the belt is the biggest problem. She only has one person to face and that’s Paige, nobody else is even in the picture. They made Naomi into something and scrapped it for no reason. Once Naomi turned on Paige, she should’ve gotten the belt because the story had become Paige/Naomi and they should’ve run with that. But we’re stuck with this because fuck new ideas and new stories. Let’s just go with Paige/Bellas over and over. AJ holding the title for that long made sense – she had many people she could work with at the time, because she was like the only heel and everyone else was kind of spotlighted a bit because Total Divas had just started. Now, while Nikki is a heel, it feels like everyone else is too now besides Paige and maybe Natalya. The rest aren’t even relevant. You can’t keep a title on someone when she has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO WORK WITH.

Memorable Moments:

AJ:
-Her title win against Kaitlyn was one of the best women’s matches in recent memory, as was that storyline.
-The pipebombshell. There wouldn’t been more had the Bellas and Natalya not been sensitive bitches.
-Her feud with the total divas, especially her matches with Natalya.
-Her walking into WM30 as champion, the first and only diva to defend that belt at WM, defend against the whole roster, and WIN.
-Losing the title to a debuting Paige on Raw the next night.

Nikki:
-Her title win, for ALL the wrong reasons.
-The final segment between her + Brie and AJ + Paige leading into WM31 was fairly memorable, I suppose
-Losing to AJ and Paige at WM31
-Having some decent matches with Paige that always ended in bullshit
-Nothing particularly noteworthy, to be honest.

Losing the title:

Nikki hasn’t done it yet obviously.

A.J.: AJ lost the title to a debuting Paige in a very memorable moment the night after WrestleMania 30. AJ losing it to an up and comer is the best way for it to have ended. The only person on the main roster it might have had a right going to from AJ may have been Naomi, but WWE seems like they don’t want to go with her even now.

Other notes:

Just some other thoughts before I end this post. While we can see that A.J.’s title reign will be broken, that does not mean for a second that Nikki’s title reign is better or that Nikki is better than A.J. at anything. Anyone with a basic understanding of wrestling can and will tell you that A.J. is superior in every possible category that’s positive. (Better wrestler, better talker, more passionate about the business, etc…..To a far less important extent, better looking.) No one’s delusional enough to think “longer title reign” means better. Long title reigns are impressive but they aren’t objective. Like CM Punk’s title reign obviously isn’t the longest one of all time but it’s certainly one of the most impressive ones. 434 days as champion when John Cena is a thing is a feat very few could accomplish. AJ’s 295 day title reign is, at least as we speak, the longest divas title reign, but the title is less than ten year’s old. But that’s in an era when women’s wrestling has been treated like garbage and they would, up until AJ, pass that thing around every few months with no real reason. Like, Kelly Kelly was champion at one point, and that’s maybe the lowest of lows. So AJ’s reign, especially with Total Divas around, was very impressive. Also, had AJ not taken time off to get married, her reign could very easily have been longer. So take personal choices into account when comparing. On one hand it’s easy for someone like Nikki to break AJ’s title reign because we can see it’s basically been handed to her. On the other hand, booking is booking. A number is kind of arbitrary sometimes when you know it’s scripted.

Hopefully when Nikki loses it’s made to be a big deal. If you’re going to break the title reign, when she finally loses the belt, it needs to be a big deal and it needs to go to someone who can use that rub. (Like Sasha Banks whose music just ironically played on my ITunes.) It’s so weird how she’s kept the belt – she’s a heel, which makes sense. Most long title reigns are by heels unless you’re Cena. But she thinks she’s a face. And she’s protected by WWE like she is a face, when most heels are made to look like cowardly cheating heels who almost always lose once a strong face shows up. So basically, we should call Nikki what she really is, female John Cena. Guess that’s what happens when you’re fucking him.

I guess Vince heard AJ say “Talent is not sexually transmitted” and they were all like “AHA WELL WE’LL SHOW YOU!! CENA IS SO AMAZING THAT ANYONE WHO FUCKS HIM WILL AUTOMATICALLY BECOME JUST AS AMAZING! CLEARLY THAT’S WHY AMY SCHUMER IS SO GREAT!”

She’s not, btw.

When it comes down to it, Nikki could have a six hundred day title reign, and it still wouldn’t be anywhere near as impressive or memorable as AJ’s. There’s nothing memorable about it now other than the fact that it shows WWE is a spiteful bitch and they’re killing AJ’s record because of CM Punk. So bitter. Everyone’s just kind of sitting here in agony waiting for it to end. Well, I guess that’s besides the Bella Twins fans who are basically, on a good day, the scum of the Earth.

Do yourself a favor and block all those fucktards on Twitter before you read some of the most vile shit you’ve ever read. These idiots look up to terrible excuses for wrestlers/human beings and treat them like gods, act like they know anything about pro wrestling when they’re like, twelve, and have no knowledge of things in the business outside of what they see on tv, use terms like “slay” and “drag” as if those are actual terms, continue to spout off on people have left the company as if it matters anymore, act like fans of anyone who aren’t the Bellas, namely AJ, Paige, any woman who is an actual wrestler and not a model, don’t know anything about wrestling when those are the fans of WRESTLERS and they are the fans of MODELS. Fans of AJ and Paige are people who look up to actual role models – to women who have done nothing but bust their ass to get to where they did in the business, earning everything they’ve accomplished through hard work and dedication. Looking up to the Bellas is like looking up to a Kardashian – if you want a role model to be someone who came into business simply because they were twins, never did anything of note in their first run, left to become actresses because why not, came back despite no one missing them because of a reality show and also dating Cena and Bryan, kind of getting a bit better in the ring but never being able to reach the level of AJ or anyone like that, so instead just became spiteful, jealous bitches towards her because of it. There’s no question Nikki’s booked so strongly because she’s dating Cena. It’s undeniable. Why else would a mediocre talent at best get this kind of title reign? If you want to be as good as the best in your division, actually put in the work. Actually be passionate about the business. You’re a heel, ACT LIKE IT.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. A title reign isn’t better just because it is longer. No one with a thousandth of a brain will tell you Nikki’s title reign is better than AJ’s and if they do they really aren’t that much an intelligent wrestling fan, no matter how much they might think so. They’re just jealous considering that no matter what the Bellas do in their 8+ year WWE career, they will never be more than an afterthought in comparison to A.J. Lee or Paige or basically any of the NXT women right now sans Dana Brooke. A.J. is a surefire hall of famer, the Bellas – well only because of who they’re dating. Not because they’ve had a career worthy of being in it. (Then again, Koko B. Ware is in it…..I guess if he can, so can anyone.) So, yes, A.J.’s reign is unquestioningly better. No matter how Nikki’s ends, how long it is, it doesn’t matter.

I guess I was wrong – even after A.J. left, I still get to see her put Nikki Bella in her proper place.