Turtleboy Sports NFL Week 3 Experts Poll

Great week of games last week, so you knew it was gonna be tough to see who would come out on top of our Week 3 Turtleboy NFL Experts Poll. Turns out it’s the Oakland Raiders:

Can’t tell you how happy it makes me feel to see the Colts and Jets every week at the bottom of this list. So satisfying.

As you can see the big winners this week were the Broncos, Dolphins, Lions, Ravens, Falcons, 49ers, and Chiefs. The big losers were of course the dumpster fire known as the New York Giants, the Cowboys, Packers, Saints, Bungles, and Vikings.

The Patriots, Panthers, and Seahawks all won, but somehow dropped. Let’s find out how. Here’s how our panel of experts voted:

As you can see Uncle Turtle once again has the Raiders as the best team in the league right now. Granted they beat the Jets which means jackshit, but they’re firing on all cylinders and beat the bag out of the Titans in Nashville the week before. I’ve got the Titans higher than anyone after smoking the Jags, the Pats ahead of KC and Atlanta because if we played either tomorrow we’d still be a favorite. I think the Seahawks are a team in decline that will be lucky to limp into the playoffs. How the hell can you barely beat San Fran at home after getting smoked by the Packers? And I got Carolina way higher than anyone else because they’re 2-0 and people seem to forget they were recently in the Super Bowl.

Now here’s why each of my poll polishers is a moron:

Dr. Walsh

Anyone who thinks the Texans are in the upper half of the NFL is an idiot. They suck really badly, and recently got smoked by Jacksonville, who he has 11 spots behind them.

The Cardinals almost lost to the Jacoby Brissett Colts. They are a garbage football team this year and Carson Palmer is DONE.

Dr. Walsh hates the Ravens, but he’s being extremely biased. Granted they’ve beaten two terrible teams, but they beat them both resoundingly.

Crap Factory

He’s got the Eagles much higher than everyone else, but I don’t even mind that pick. It’s ballsy, and they gave the Chiefs a game on the road.

How’s he gonna have the Broncos behind the Cowboys a week after the Broncos creampied them?

Come on, easy on the Browns. They’re a team on the rise and a million times better than the Colts or Bears are right now.

Intern Turtle

How you gonna rank the Bucs 12th intern? They just demolished Chicago, they have one of the best receivers in the league, and Jameis looking nice at QB. No way on God’s green earth would they lose to the Detroit Lions if they played tomorrow.

Patriots #1? Ballsy. I’m as biased as you get, but this defense has issues.

Dolphins are a little high for my liking, but all in all Intern had the second best poll this week. Get your shit together Crap Factory.

So which expert’s list is the most accurate? We’ll see how the games play out this weekend. Probably Uncle Turtleboy.

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2 Comment(s)

The Indianapolis Clots (no that’s not a typo) should be at bottom. One shall see how ”big” those NYG are today upon playing at Philadelphia. Another shit festival would peg them at 30, to be followed by NYJ at 31, and those blue and white buckeroos at 32.