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The Hottest Day in London in Ten Years and All I Could Do Was Pray For A Tiny Kiddie Pool…All DAY…For The Past 9 Hours.

You see the above photo my pandas? It’s my photo that I edited. This is what I have been wishing for all day here in London. For the heavens to literally open up and cry out a storm. I have been begging for a kiddie pool to be magically delivered to my office. I have prayed for some sort of miracle all day but have I received said miracle, of course not. Why in god’s good unicorned care bears would he see fit to grant me with a kiddie pool. Even though I think it’s a perfectly good request.

It’s funny, I have lived in a country (Cyprus) that sometimes hits 42 degrees Celsius (107.6F) and that’s manageable. I think it’s because it’s a different kind of heat. Well, that and the fact that we have easy access to the sea. But in a huge city, the minute it gets to 35C (95F) like today mind you, you start forgetting your fucking name. It’s like the city swallows you whole and isn’t kind enough to spit you back out. It’s an unbearable heat where even Satan is like ‘Nah… I’m good down here..”.

Today I went from being uncomfortable, agitated, delirious, angry, tired and eventually lost the will to live. I am begging for my life to end right now in one fell swoop because this heat has taken a toll. The air-con is apparently working and yet all I feel is hot air. Surely it’s not safe to be working in this kind of heat without a proper air-con right?! It’s unjust. And as far as I’m concerned I’m working like a kid in a sweat shop. Yes, it IS that bad! It’s beyond insane.

By now I’m sure you can tell I am not a fan of the heat if there’s no swimming pool, ocean, lake, or even a kiddie pool near by.
Today I finally felt for the wicked witch who melted away. I felt for the snowmen of the world who melt to a non-existent mound of mush. Today, happened to be the longest day of my life.