My Break Up With My (Ex) Boyfriends Mom

When you’re in a relationship with a guy, you’re not just in a relationship with him. Most of you might think, well, it says that on my Facebook. But no, you’re in a relationship with his life. If your boyfriend tells you about something he’s working on, something negative or positive that is happening in his life, or something that he’s going through—it’s the normal human reaction to follow up and show interest. While all of this is fine and dandy, something you don’t realize is that if you’re a friendly girl like myself, you’re also in a relationship with his family too.

After dating someone for a long time, you’ll get to know their siblings, their parents, their pets, and even their extended family. I’m a pretty obnoxious and loud person, but at home I’m reserved and timid. So, when I get to meet my boyfriend’s family, after a few times of making small talk and seeing them on a frequent basis, I get comfortable. I begin establishing a solid relationship. So what happens when your boyfriend decides he likes another girl more than you (but won’t admit it to your face) and you break up? What happens to your relationship with his family?

In particular, a certain relationship comes to mind and to be honest, the break up with his mother was almost more devastating than the one with him.

Enter: summer 2007. I was 17-years-old and had an array of activities lined up for myself. Along with morning cross-country practice, I had my first part-time job where I would be saving money for my first car (never saved for a car, bought a MacBook instead, no surprise here), and I was about to begin watching the entire series of The OC for the first time. Along with these “exciting” opportunities, I began dating a boy whom I actually really liked since my first boyfriend (I had two boyfriends in-between my first BF and this guy, player over here). We had such a fantastic relationship—he introduced me to my love for Apple and technology, we went to theme parks on the weekends and rode roller coasters all night, and would go on runs together (I eventually introduced him to the “joy” of running).

But, something almost better than my relationship with him was my relationship with his mother. Sarah* was so cool and just the kind of role model a 17-year-old dreamed of. First, I was allowed to call her Sarah and she always encouraged my writing—for once I wasn’t pursuing a career that was “going down hill.” She took me to my first trip to New York City where I fell in love with everything there was to offer. When I was taking an apparel design class I sewed/quilted a bag that she used for months after it was presented to her. She was just the nicest, most welcoming mom I had ever met. When my boyfriend broke up with me for another girl, I was more upset about what would happen with Sarah*.

Well, nothing happened, I went on with my life Sarah-less. It wasn’t until the end of my junior year when I was at a train station headed to the airport to embark on my first European adventure sans family is when I saw her since the break up. She was sitting down at a table; card in hand, waiting for me. She handed me a beautiful card with a note about how I will become a successful journalist along with some spending money for my trip. After my trip I visited their home to give a few gifts that I purchased for their family and that was the last time I saw her.

Up until this week when I saw her eating frozen yogurt outside of my gym. What did I do? I dodged a bullet and hid behind my hair. How could I ignore someone who had been such an amazing role model in my life? Well, since then, I had been more than over my relationship with my ex and I guess along with that came his life. I’ll still remember his mom as the first person who introduced me to my future home and career…and I’ll still remember him as a the dick who found someone else. I guess some things never change huh?

“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.

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I believe love is the answer to everything. While heartbreak is inevitable in this uphill battle, I believe that every tear shed, that every single horrible feeling felt, and that each spectacular moment that's left me wonderstruck has happened for a reason. I'm 24 and a hopeless romantic that explores love through her writing.

Disclaimer: Thoughts and opinions are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. Also note that everything is written in lag time between the actual event and my feelings towards it.