Poll shines light on long-term care

Pauline King cares for her husband, Jerry, at their home in Anna, Ill. Jerry was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1978. He can no longer go to the bathroom, bathe or dress himself without assistance from Pauline.

WASHINGTON — More Americans may wind up helping Mom as she gets older, but a new poll shows the most stressful kind of caregiving is for a frail spouse.

The population is rapidly aging, but people aren't doing much to get ready, even though government figures show nearly seven in 10 Americans will need long-term care at some point after they reach age 65.

In fact, people 40 and over are more likely to discuss their funeral plans than their preferences for assistance with day-to-day living as they get older, according to the poll by the AP-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. Findings from the poll:

Effect on families

Half of people 40 and older already have been caregivers to relatives or friends. Six in 10 have provided care to a parent, mostly a mother, while 14 percent have cared for a spouse or partner.

Overwhelmingly, caregivers called it a positive experience. But it's also incredibly difficult, especially for spouses. While seven in 10 who cared for a spouse said their relationship grew stronger as a result, nearly two-thirds said it caused stress in their family, compared with about half among those who cared for a parent.

It's not just an emotional challenge but a physical one: The average age of spouse caregivers was 67, compared with 58 for people who've cared for a parent.

Virginia Brumley, 79, said caring for her husband, Jim, for nearly five years as he suffered from dementia strengthened their bond. But eventually he needed a nursing home because "he was too big for me. He was as helpless as a baby," she said.

Long-term planning

A third of Americans in this age group are concerned that they won't plan enough for the care they'll need in their senior years, and that they'll burden their families.

Yet two-thirds say they've done little or no planning. About 32 percent say they've set aside money to pay for living assistance; 28 percent have modified their home to make it easier to live in when they're older.

Becoming a caregiver

Three in 10 Americans 40 and older think it's very likely that an older relative or friend will need care within the next five years. Just 30 percent who expect to provide that care feel very prepared for the job, while half say they're somewhat prepared.