Kobe’s delusional talkin’ about a rebirth! “Sick”

John C. Maxwell, the famous author and pastor, once said, “When you are full of pride on the inside, it makes you stiff, stubborn, and creates strife with others.” Simon Sinek, the author that popularized the concept of “Start With Why,” gave it to us like this, “One of the best paradoxes of leadership is a leader’s need to be both stubborn and open-minded. A leader must insist on sticking to the vision and stay on course to the destination. But he must be open-minded during the process.” Then John Adams, our 2nd President, shut the buildin’ down with, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”

Well playas…the facts and the evidence say that it looks like the Black Mamba has completely lost his mind. Ole boy was on NBA TV on Monday night talkin’ like old man Mr. Charlie down at the car wash tellin’ boyz that he’s still pimpin’ even though the game has passed him by. This dun says that he’s not thinkin’ about retirement anytime soon but instead he’s lookin’ for a rebirth of his career. He says that he’s drawn inspiration from what the San Antonio Spurs were able to accomplish last year.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The San Antonio Spurs play T.E.A.M.(Together Everyone Achieves More) basketball playboy! Everybody in that locker room has bought into the system of respectin’ the man sittin’ next to them. They share the heck out of the basketball and everybody understands that Pop is in freakin’ charge. That’s why they won the championship last year pimpin’!

They weren’t talkin’ crazy to teammates and showin’ up to practice once a month cursin’ boyz out, includin’ the GM. They weren’t tellin’ Pop what they were and were not goin’ to do! Naw son, they understand what T.E.A.M. really means.

Here’s my diehard Kobe fan standin’ on the roof top screamin’ his lungs out, “Jay you’re a hater! You just don’t like Kobe! He’s one of the greatest players to ever lace them up!” Listen here you idiot, I’ve never said that the Mamba wasn’t one of the greatest players to EVER lace them up. As a matter of fact, he’s one of the top 5 players of all-time and I’ve got crazy respect for his game! That doesn’t change the fact that he’s old, injury riddled and selfish.

Kobe can’t win another championship or even play on a team with a winnin’ record at this point because he only wants to win if he’s drivin’ the bus. If he’s not the sole reason why the Lakers are winnin’ he doesn’t want to win. See, Tim Duncan and Co. was willin’ to sacrifice the ball, bread and ego to win. Kobe ain’t tryin’ to do that playa. He wants the ball, the bread and the ego.

Let me put it where the goats can get it playa. The agin’ veterans in San Antonio all took less bread so that they could get the necessary pieces to make a run. Kobe not only took the bread but he told the front office and the rest of the NBA that he was still the first option in LA. Therefore, other superstars that would have even thought about showin’ up cancelled any plans of relocatin’ to the City of Angels. Even Pau Gasol bounced and went to cold “A” Chicago bruh! What does that tell you?

June 2014 was primed and ready to go for the Lakers to have a Rebirth of Slick because it’s Cool Like That. However, when Kobe told the world that he was still the first option and that he wasn’t relinquishin’ his stronghold on that it was a wrap. This dun was comin’ off of a torn Achilles and a fractured lateral tibial plateau not to mention that he was 36 years old. I know that he was a pimp in his day but his day is gone playboy. He’s the old cat still rollin’ through the hood bumpin’ that Curtis Mayfield “Diamond” joint hollerin’ at young broads out of the window. “Diamonds in the back, sunroof top, diggin’ the scene with the gasoline gangster whitewalls, TV antenna in the back.” Lookin’ crazy!

If he’s gonna win now he’s gonna need some help and playin’ with the freakin’ Cosby Kids ain’t gonna do it. Think about it bruh! When NOBODY, as in other superstar free agents, wants to play with him and all he can get is duns that have no other choice but to play with him, he’s in trouble. When a cat that names himself “Swaggy P” is all you’ve got you’re shot. First of all playa, it goes against every code in the ghetto handbook of survival to give yourself a nickname. That’s a complete violation of everything that the hood stands for. The hood gives you a nickname or some cat that is writin’ about you. You can’t name yourself Swaggy P and expect to be respected. C’mon bruh!

“Come here girl! You know I still got it!”

The veterans in San Antonio are winnin’ because they understand that they’re old. So they allow duns like “Dusty Braids” Kawhi Leonard to shine. They aren’t trippin’ off who gets the glory. They just want to win. Kobe only wants to win if he’s drivin’ the bus and that’s cool if he could still drive EVERY night. The problem is, is that he can’t. When you can’t practice and play back to backs but you still show up talkin’ crazy to boyz in the media and tryin’ to embarrass your teammates you aren’t gonna get good enough teammates to win.

Here’s my diehard Mamba fan again, “Jay that selfish cat won 5 championships that way so I guess that it does work!” Well playa, no he didn’t! He won 5 championships actin’ like he had some sense and by respectin’ leadership. Let me take you to school real quick pimpin’! Kobe has played for 8 coaches since he’s been in the league and he’s only been able to win with 1 of them and that 1 wasn’t takin’ any stuff. And that’s the edited version. Oh I’m talkin’ crazy? He didn’t play for 8 cats? Well let’s see, Dell Harris, Bill Bertka and Kurt Rambis was there before Phil showed up the first time. Then he retired after the ’04 season and Rudy Tomjanovich and Frank Hamblin took over with no success. So Phil came back midway through the ’05 season and then retired again in 2011. Then both Mike’s, Brown and D’Antoni, got ran over by the Kobe bus and now Byron Scott is gettin’ drug under the joint.

When Phil was in charge Kobe wasn’t showin’ up to practice when he wanted to, cursin’ boyz out and throwin’ tantrums. He wasn’t callin’ teammates out in the media even though the dun was sittin’ right next to him. Naw playa, Phil wasn’t havin’ that just like Pop ain’t havin’ it. That’s why Tim Duncan and Co. keeps havin’ success. They’re the Commodores, The Jackson Five, The Beatles, Destiny’s Child bruh. They are a group! This is a team sport! You can’t go solo and shine like Lionel Riche, Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney and Beyoncé did. It doesn’t work like that.

So unless ole boy is gonna commit to takin’ a back seat in LA and lettin’ some young superstar take over and drive the bus the rebirth of slick ain’t gonna happen.

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Ole boy: noun – the person in question, in this case Kobe Bryant
2) Dun: noun – again, the person in question, the dude, guy, etc.
3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
4) Let me put it where the goats can get it: In other words, let me break it down for you. Goats eat off of the ground so I’m goin’ to spoon feed you at this point.
5) Rebirth of Slick: noun – reference to the first single by the hip hop group Digable Planets in 1992.