Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2005 12:44:53 +0000 (GMT)
From: Jezebel
Subject: Want 5
Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this
has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true
sexualities or personalities of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass or
any others mentioned. If you are underage for your area or if it is
illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else.
Note: This is where the story starts to get dark, it will get better, but
be warned this is not a nice chapter.
***
-5-
*Josh*
I've spoken at length with my friends about this, Tim is telling his story
and wants us all to be a part of it. Justin agreed, with the amazing
generosity that he approaches most of his life with, but I am more
reluctant. To tell you about my side of the story I have to revisit some
of my darker moments, some of my earlier moments and some of my most joyous
moments. The joyful ones are not hard, but alas they are the later part of
the story, the early ones are easier so I'll start there because the dark
ones still haunt me to this day.
Before this whole story started, before Tim and even before Nsync there was
Justin. We were just Justin and Josh, the two amigos. The constant that
kept me through a lot of my life was Justin Timberlake, my little brother,
my partner in crime and my best friend.
I had watched Justin grow up, had seen him go through puberty, through his
first heart break and his first shave. I had delighted in the fact that he
had accepted me as bisexual and revelled in the fact when he too revealed
his own sexuality a few years later.
To Justin, who has an enormous capacity to love and be loved, love in all
of its forms is a beautiful thing and it was that warmth and caring that
first drew him to me. I can't fault Karen and Roy, Mom and Dad on bringing
me up, but as an adopted child I was always feeling as if there was
something missing. When I was 15 and that small, cute and annoying 12 year
old lad came into my life I knew that I had found the missing part. No one
could ever fill the void that my birth parents had left but Justin gave me
something else to fill the part of my life that seemed empty.
I think it was back then that I started loving Justin Timberlake.
So, when it came to his twenty first birthday I knew that I had to do
something special. Justin was finally becoming a man and in doing so
finally became the man that he would be, maybe even the man that I would
fall in love with for real. But Justin needed to experience the world, I
never wanted him to resent me if we did get together so I had to get him
out and experiencing the world. So with Lance's help I planned the sort of
debut into the gay scene that he deserved. Justin would lose some of his
inhibitions, grow up a little and gain his manhood with a little help from
his band mates, and when the time came he would have that experience. If
he chose to be with me he could not say that I had not given him the chance
to experience other things, and that meant allowing him to see the world.
Justin's biggest problem was that he was so shy. There was no way that he
would ever lose his virginity and with it his childish innocence at this
rate, so I helped the hands of fate a little.
That was what I did that fateful night when we met Tim for the first time.
And in doing so changed all of our lives.
***
The club was nothing special, I should have picked somewhere more
exclusive, more sentimental or something but seclusion was a key to
choosing it that day. Three members of a boy band walking into any gay
club would cause an uproar if we were found out, but walking into a gay
strip club was worse.
To this day I wonder what would have happened if the press had caught us
out that night, we would have said that we didn't know what sort of club it
was and that would have been that. Maybe it would have been better for us
if that had happened but it didn't and so we found ourselves watching a
dancer in a private room for $1000 dollars.
It was cheap for the price, Tim was an exquisite dancer, great body and a
physique that I was jealous of and it was definitely worth every penny.
Especially when Justin told me that he liked him.
The plan was working so well that I had no qualms about offering Tim the
money, it was a drop in the ocean for me as far as funds went, especially
as I could write this off as an expense if I was careful. $2000, to take
me one step closer to my dream and my Justin, was nothing compared to the
years that I had put into getting to this point. If he did choose me then
I would know that I had helped him be the man that he was, and if he
didn't, well, I would still always be his best friend and nothing could
change that.
Tim could not turn down money like that, for whatever reason he was working
in this dive he was working behind the scenes as well, the manager had made
that clear to us. Tim didn't know it but he had been set up for this and
he took the money, agreeing to everything but a fuck, although at the time
I was pretty sure that he was just pretending to be coy. Maybe some of his
punters liked that.
All I knew was that Justin liked him, Justin was taking him back to the
hotel and that by morning Justin would be no longer a virgin and would have
the confidence that he needed to make more moves on his own.
Lance and I disappeared quickly so that the pair would be alone and I
listened gently at the door as I heard them talking, Tim was being kind and
reassuring Justin, and Justin was being himself. Then Tim suggested a
massage and part of me wished that I could be in there, that I could see
what this man was doing to Justin. Whatever it was must have been good
because Justin was soon letting out gentle purring noises that moved
straight to my already hard cock.
I missed whatever came next because I had retired to my own room, partly so
that I would not get caught spying and partly to deal with the erect member
that I was sporting. I had so many wicked thoughts in my head already
about Justin and those overheard whimpers and pleadings had just given me
more fuel for my fantasies. Jerking off was always more tempting when I
used the stored memories and carefully built fantasies about Justin.
I must have worn myself out, thinking of Justin because the next thing I
knew I was being woken from my dreams of my lover by a movement of the
mattress.
I half expected the bouncing tigger that had taken up residence on my bed
to be an excited and thankful Justin, instead I was met with an energetic
and unruly Chris Kirkpatrick, who it seemed had eaten sugar before
breakfast again.
"Wake up!!!" Chris said impatiently as he bounced. "Joey and I want to
hear all about last night...about you getting the kid drunk."
"G'wa" I said unintelligibly, hoping that he would see I was half asleep.
Tact is not one of Chris' strong points however and the next thing I knew I
was rolled out of bed, and landing with a thump on the floor, still tangled
in the blankets and sheets that were half on and half off the bed.
"Chris!" I yelled. "I'm going to kill you."
"You'll have to catch me first." He retorted as he ran into the main room
with a shriek of laughter. I contemplated racing after him but that was
what he expected, instead I decided to bide my time for revenge until I was
more awake.
It turned out that I would never get my scores settled.
Not when I went out and saw the dejection on the face that was supposed to
be happy and carefree. Justin looked depressed, more so than he had before
his birthday or back when he was still dealing with the stress of thinking
that maybe he was gay. This was not the Justin that I had been expecting
at all and was certainly not the Justin I had pictured that was a step
closer to my bed. If anything he was further from it and more taciturn
than before.
Whatever Tim had done to him the previous night was nothing compared to
what I would do to the whore when I found him. No one hurt my Justin and
got away with it. He would pay.
Still, first things were first, I had to eat breakfast and care for Justin.
He was first in all things. That was a lesson that Tim was going to learn
quickly, closely followed to just why it is that no one messes with JC
Chasez.
***
The next part of the story is not nice, but honesty has forced me to tell
it this way. There is nothing else to say than the events of that night,
despite the fact that they are one of my lowest moments and my biggest
regrets. Tim wants the whole story laid out for all to see and this is
what happened, whether you like it or not this is the truth of that day and
the truth of what led up to the events Tim is telling us about. In fact,
this was one of the major parts of the story.
I knew where to find him. Creatures like that were creatures of habit and
if nothing else I knew that he would turn up for work the next night. We
were in town for more than one concert and so I had the time to scope out
the club and wait for him to arrive.
While I did so I thought over the events of that day. We had a full day of
interviews and signings, apparently management did not care that we had
been out celebrating Justin's birthday and other than an extra hour that
morning we were not given anything that would have appeared to be a
celebration.
One of the magazines handed Justin a few cards from his adoring public and
there was a fan outside that had baked Justin a cake (that he couldn't eat
for safety reasons, according to the security team.)
Justin had seemed maudlin all day, and this was more what the press had
picked up on. We joked that Justin didn't want to get old, and that 21 was
a large milestone for him, but I think they were preparing to run the story
of Justin leaving the band. This only tightened my resolve to deal with
Tim. Justin was down and even the jibes from Chris and the encouragement
from Joey had barely drawn a smile.
Tim was certainly going to pay and as he neared the club, wearing the tight
jeans and muscle shirt under a black leather jacket that were similar to
those of the night before, I knew what it would be.
I couldn't let this man use anyone else in the way that he had used Justin.
At least not without him knowing what it felt like. They say that you
should make the punishment fit the crime and in a sick way I guess that was
what I wanted to do.
"Hi, it's Tim, isn't it?" I said as I bumped into him. I made it seem like
an accident but really it was all part of that premeditated plan of revenge
that I had hastily concocted.
"You know it is." Tim said. "What do you want?"
"I thought that you should earn your money." I told him. "That's what
whores do isn't it?"
Tim looked away, I could see the mixture of fear and anger as they rose on
his face, warring for attention. He paid heed to neither and instead tried
to step around me. I stepped to the side with him and made it clear that I
was not going to let him get past.
"Look, I didn't take your money. I don't want your money, and I'm not
going to do any business with you again, I don't care how much you are
paying." Tim said.
This made me angrier, he was actually thinking that he was better than me.
"Who said I was paying?" I sneered.
"Well, I'm certainly not doing you for free." Tim retorted with a snort of
laughter.
"Then maybe I should have a word with your boss." I replied with a smile.
"I'm sure that he would love to know what you do after your shift is over,
especially when you're doing it with underage boys."
"Justin is 21." Tim replied warily.
It was true of course, Justin was legal.
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that. Who do you think he'll believe?" I asked.
I had money, I knew it and he knew it. I was a customer too and when it
mattered the customer was always right.
"Please, you can't. I need this job." Tim said and this time there was
real panic in his voice. It gave me a sense of retribution because he was
finally seeing that I had the power. I knew that I could make him pay for
what he had done to my Justin.
"Then you had better come with me." I said. "Like I said, I want my
money's worth. And if you make it good enough I'll make sure that your
boss doesn't find out about your extracurricular activities."
Tim nodded defeatedly.
"I need to tell my boss that I can't come in tonight." He said.
"Oh, you can work. I like to watch." I told him.
Tim nodded dejectedly and went inside. After a moment I followed grinning
at the conquest I had made.
I knew that by the end of the evening this boy would think twice before
screwing anyone else. He certainly wouldn't come near Justin again.
***
I watched him dance, he was a good dancer, steady on his feet and using
just the right amount of teasing and provocation without making it lewd.
He seemed to make good tips, of course a whore like that would, he would
know all of the tricks to get a man to part with his cash. I bet he had
even blackmailed a few of the men with wedding rings, after all that was
the type of thing that they did.
I waited until the dancer that came on after Tim was halfway through his
set before I left, I wanted to give Tim some time to get back into his
street clothes before I met him. It was a risk because he could have left
without me but I was pretty sure that he wouldn't risk that when I had
threatened to go to his boss. Sure enough by the time I got outside he was
waiting.
The street clothes were the same, it seemed a shame for him to put them
back on and cover that body, but I was safe in the fact that he would not
be wearing them very long.
I had developed a healthy hard on while watching him dance and I couldn't
wait to see him on his knees taking it down his throat or laying down as I
thrust into him. I had a lot of degrading things in mind that he would do
and all of them would make him feel as used as Justin had seemed to be
feeling.
He needed to learn the lesson the hard way. It was the only way that he
would learn it.
Tim seemed surprised when I drove us in the opposite direction of the hotel
that I was staying at with the boys. I didn't want him back there, I
didn't want him anywhere near Justin and I certainly didn't want the others
to know what I was doing.
I had booked into a sleazy motel on the outskirts of town and that was
where the deed would take place. It seemed fitting that this two bit whore
was bending over for me in this dive of a motel. He didn't deserve the
comfortable beds of the Regency. Luxury like that was reserved for people
like Justin. Good people.
"Okay, let's go lover." I said as I led the miserable boy into the room.
Tim followed me, standing as if he didn't know what to do as I shut the
door, bolted it and began to undress.
"What are you waiting for, a gilded invitation?" I asked rather harshly.
Tim looked at me and then at himself and slipped out of his clothes.
We were both naked in minutes and I was hard as I looked him over. It
didn't seem to register with me back then that Tim wasn't hard at all and
was in fact shaking. I could be cynical and tell you that it was the lack
of heat in the cheap motel room, but I know it was fear.
I'm not proud of what happened there in that room and I know that Tim was
scared of me and of it back then, but at the time it hadn't seemed so bad.
I was doing this for Justin and the ends seemed to justify the means. Tim
wasn't significant to my life but Justin was and I didn't want him to hurt
like he had that morning. If teaching Tim a lesson would change that then
that was what I would do.
"I don't get fucked." Tim said as I approached him with a wanton look in my
eye.
"You'll do whatever I want you to do or your boss will find out the truth."
I told him.
Tim shook in fear, trying to fight me off as I approached him but he
acquiesced when I mentioned him losing his job.
I stood over him, knowing that I had all the power, my cock hard at the
thought and I was ready to do it but as I looked down at him, laying there
I realised that this must be how Justin would have felt.
I wasn't a rapist.
I couldn't do it.
Still, there was a part of me that felt that Tim needed to learn a lesson
so I pulled my jeans on and left him there.
Tim didn't move, he was too scared to.
Once I was dressed I started in on him and didn't stop.
I won't go into the details. There is nothing noteworthy about the night
other than to say that it was wrong. Hindsight has given me the clarity to
know that, as well as the distance of age to judge myself harshly. I know
that it was wrong and every day I live with that wrong decision.
I'm glad that I didn't do all that the red haze of anger made me want to
do, but what did occur is bad enough.
After I had finished with him and taken my fill I left him there and that
too was reprehensible.
I left Tim in the cheap motel that I thought he deserved and went back to
my own life without a second thought for the broken man that I was leaving
behind.
It would only hit me in the following days and weeks the enormity of what I
had done. But by then it was too late to take back the damage and reverse
what I had done and it was that which would change my own life and that of
my friends forever.
***
To Be Continued