With the liberation of our masturbation, we no longer had to conform to each other’s sexual needs. If one of us didn’t feel like having sex, the other was free to masturbate, which often turned on the one who hadn’t been in the mood. He was able to tell me there were times when he actually preferred to masturbate rather than to have intercourse or oralsex. He began to realise how much pressure he’d been under to perform sexually. It had been nearly impossible for him to say “no, thank you” when sex was offered. The best way to avoid sex and save face was to start an argument. But now that he was more liberated, he was overcoming his socially conditioned fixation that fucking was the only “real” kind of sex.