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Hey Guys,I'm glad I found this forum it seems to have a lot of very useful information on it. So I just recently found out that I was positive on Feb 20, 2013. And when I say it was completely unexpected, I mean completely.

Back on Dec 2, 2012, my partner and I of almost 6 years decided to have a threesome which we occasionally do (2 or 3 times a year I'd say). Anyway we invited the guy over and nothing that special happened, we fooled around just doing oral for a while, everyone came on their chests and that was that, and I never thought anymore of it.

Now let's fast forward to Dec 26, 2012 when I started to get really sick with what I assumed was the flu. Fever, headache, aching muscles, sore throat, fatigue and night sweats. Something that I found odd about this flu however was that after having it for a few days I developed these very faint red spots all over my torso. I never had something like that before and thought it might be meningitis so I went to the doctor just to make sure. The doctor seemed to think that the rash and my flu symptoms were not related and sent me home.

After about 2 weeks I was still quite sick and was beginning to wonder when this flu would let up. I was basically just going from my bed to the couch since I wasn't able to do much else. It was all over the news how this was the worst flu season on a long time and that the virus was hitting harder than ever and lasting longer than normal. So I wasn't too concerned although I was really anxious to start feeling better. I love being active, going to the gym around 4 times a week and running outdoors as well and it was a long time since I had done any of those things.

By around the end of January most of my symptoms had gone away except for the night sweats and the overwhelming fatigue. I was literally a walking zombie. I tried to bring myself for a run a couple of times but I couldn't catch my breath and would get tired so so quickly. I decided it was time to go to the doctor since everyone was telling me that this didn't seem normal.

The doctor checked me over and found out that I had a few swollen lymph nodes, a slightly enlarged spleen and I also told him about the night sweats. He thought that it could be a possible lymphoma and suggested we do some blood tests to check things out. He also asked me if I was gay. I told him that I was with a partner of almost 6 years. He asked me if I thought maybe we should do and hiv test as well. I said you can if you want but I know there is nothing to worry about. He said I realise that but maybe we should check just to rule it out.

After that my bf and I decided we needed a little vacation to get away from winter for a while and we thought that maybe a bit of rest would help me to recover from this sickness so we took a 10 day trip to Costa Rica.

When we got back home I had a message on my phone that the doctor wanted to see me. I was like yes, hopefully they've found something so I can start getting treated for it and start feeling better. I actually was hoping maybe it was lymphoma because it's highly treatable and then at least I'd have an answer as to what was wrong with me.

So I arrive at the doctors office and he's all nice and friendly and tells me that they were trying to get a hold of me and I said yeah, I know, I was out of the country on vacation. Then he pulls up his computer screen and we start going down through the blood work. He said that my liver enzymes were a bit high and a few other things were high, all of which were indicative of a possible mononucleosus, but he said that it wasn't that. So I was thinking great, they still don't know what's wrong with me, he's bringing me all the way in here to tell me the tests were inconclusive. Then he keeps going down the list and out of the blue and really calmly he goes "oh and your HIV test....that came back positive." It was like everything just went in slow motion at this point. It was impossible for me to comprehend what he just said. I was going in there not even having that on my mind as a possibilty of what could have been wrong with me. I seriously thought cancer with the swollen lymphnodes.

Anyway I was like that's not possible. I haven't done anything risky that could give me hiv. I was like a few months ago my bf and I had a threesome but it was just oral and all very much safe. If I would have thought for even one second that we had done something risky that day I would have gone to a clinic to get some of those drugs that stop a possible hiv infection. Then he looked at me and said, how well can you trust your partner. And I was like I can trust him very well. And he's like well get him tested and find out.

So I went home and told my bf who was completely in shock as well and couldn't beleive it. We brought him that night to get tested and it came back negative which meant he definitely didn't give it to me, which I pretty much already knew.

The doctors at the hiv clinic still can't believe I got it through oral and said it's basically next to impossible. And I said well I got it through oral, I'm telling you, there is no other way it could possibly have happened. I had been tested early 2012 and was negative. My bf and I had around three threesomes that year and all were always safe, except for the oral. I never even let the guy come in my mouth if we do oral so how in the name of god I got hiv is a total mystery to me. I really wish that I wasn't that unlucky to get it that way but it's not possible for me to have gotten it any other way.

I think people should be aware that the risk from oral is greater than we think. I mean if I got it that easily, there has to be many more people out there contracting it the same way and not even realising it.

But on a good note I am very much coming to terms with my new status and I'm actually going to make this into something positive. I've already started back to the gym and have started running again and am very much looking forward to keeping myself nice and healthy.

I meet again with the doctor in 2 weeks. I should have my blood work back by then so they'll know how and when to start my treatment.

I'm really glad I found this forum as there seems to be lots of useful information on here and people that are going through exactly what I'm going through at the exact same time. It makes you feel much less alone. I'll be back on here lots in the next few little while asking tons of questions because my head is full of them. Cheers!Mark (I've posted the same post on thebody.com so I apologise if someone is reading this for the second time.)

You also posted nearly the same post in someone else's thread and I replied to you there before I saw your thread here, so I'm going to copy and paste my response from there here as well.

Mike, it's rare to become infected through oral sex. What most likely happened is that the guy you blew was very newly infected himself and had a sky-high viral load, as is very common in acute infection. He probably had no idea he was infected. (You may want to contact him, or have your local health authority contact him if you want to remain anonymous to him, to let him know he needs to test. He may still have no idea he is hiv positive.)

Add that possibility to your lack of saliva (saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect) and an open irritation on your bottom lip, well, yes, you may have been very, very, very unlucky.

While I do not for a minute think that oral transmission happens as often as some people believe, under the right circumstances* it is possible. Possible, not probable. *The right circumstances being an extremely high viral load in the person being blown, and an oral health problem with the person doing the blowing.

There have been studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who consistently used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barriers for oral, not one of the negative partners became infected.

However, one group these studies could not possibly look at are people who are in the very early stages of infection, with a sky-high viral load, who do not yet know they're positive because if nothing else, at this point many people would still test antibody negative. A person can be highly infectious before they've produced enough antibodies to trigger a positive antibody test result.

Another thing that points to the rarity of oral transmission is the fact that there has never been a woman who claimed that the only possible transmission route was oral sex. It's only ever been gay men who claim this route. Considering there are far more women who give blowjobs than there are men (due to the fact that overall, gay men are in the minority), oral transmission is indeed rare.

At the end of the day, what matters now is that you know you are hiv positive and you can take the necessary steps to preserve your health. It doesn't matter so much how you got here, what matters is where you go from here.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

So sad and yet reassured to read your post. I experienced the same symptoms starting at the end of February lasting all the way into April. After several Dr. appointments and repeated HIV tests I finally got a result of positive 3 days ago. Multiple dr's thought flu, mono and many other possibilities. It was only my request that prompted the hiv test and I don't understand that multiple physicians who knew I am a gay man didn't think of this themselves. I did not realize that the initial infection of Hiv could be so debilitating, and although I am glad to know why I was sick, I am completely at a loss on dealing with this. I am following the recommendations for going to a specialist and examining my options, but except my partner ( who was tested at the same time and also tested positive) I haven't told anyone and I so need to use this site to express my feelings. Sorry I rambled a bit, but it was nice to see confirmation of how I felt when I was sick. Thank you and stay well