Thursday, September 30, 2010

For the second time, Ben's Doctor has delayed/ canceled the surgery. This time we were given a 3 week delay. Under stress and in pain, Ben fired his doctor and is going to go to a new one. Now if we were to call the hospital and Doctors and give them delays or cancel (the day before surgery) you know that we would be charged for it!!!!

We worked around the house so hard to winterize and secure it. After his knee replacements, who would do the mowing, blow out the water sprinklers, winterize the RV and Central Air conditioner? He paid bills weeks before they were due... so that we wouldn't have to worry about it later. Flustering!

I won't be doing any craft shows this fall and winter. I can hardly plan anything... because of the uncertainty of when he will get his knees replaced, or what his recoup time will be. I can't book a show and expect him to help me when he can hardly walk. Let alone sit with me at the show, help set it up, move boxes to and from the show. There is always next year. I have only one husband.

I have a lot of finished picture mats finished. Beautiful. working on so much, yet the stress has taken away the Joy of making all of it. I just want our lives to get moving. I feel like I am sitting in a time warp. ANY ONE OUT THERE?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Just had to get out of the HOUSE.... cabin Fever or I would rename it .... DEPRESSION>

So we drove up to Bailey to get a hot dog... ha ha... Took over an hour to drive from Denver, a half an hour to stand in line in front of the hot dog shaped building. Barely found parking. 15 mins. to eat the foot long dog with onion rings and a pineapple shake. 2 1/2 hours to drive back in Labor day traffic. IT WAS A GOOD DAY.

I took Riley for a walk... noticed a smoke plum covering the sky. The Sun was RED. It looked like dooms day. Our breathing was heavy, our eyes watered. Riley and I went back home to get inside the house. It is a big fire in Boulder.... which is over an hour away from us.

Pulled out of my depression.... have to get Ben through one more operation and we should be back to normal. I don't know if anyone is reading this. I don't ever hear from anyone. OH well ... if there is anyone out there ... have a good day.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

This month is going to be a busy one too. Ben's son his somewhat recovered, but that's another story indeed. I don't think he is the same person as he was before his coma... I'm trying to be nice, so that's about all I'm going to write about this.

The Cancer seeds were placed in Ben a couple of weeks ago, and now we have been delayed until the 28th for his operation to replace both knees. He's getting short tempered and sharp with me.... Hummmthat's all I'm going to write about this.

I find myself fighting depression and forcing myself to rise above the occasion. I'm tired, simply put. And I'm bored too. I realized that I've forgotten to take my heart pills these last weeks... or is it months? Just been too busy with other worries and concerns.

I don't know what I want right now. May-be I'm due for some Me-time. Yea that's it!

About Me

I think that Im just discovering myself at this stage of my life. Sure I'm Honey, Babe, Mom, Grandma. But most of all I'm ME. Free to like the things I most adore .. like Birds, trees, family, hobbies... What fun! OH ... I havent forgotten my friends. after all these years, I've kept my circle of friends small ... safer that way... now its time to make changes