Actress Meg Tilly rewrites her life

Published 6:30 am, Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Meg Tilly has retired from acting, although she can be seen in two new episodes of the sci-fi series Caprica.

Meg Tilly has retired from acting, although she can be seen in two new episodes of the sci-fi series Caprica.

Actress Meg Tilly rewrites her life

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We remember her as a novice nun in Agnes of God, a limber young thing in The Big Chill and a married woman who succumbs to a scheming charmer in Valmont.

But former actress Meg Tilly, who turned 50 on Valentine's Day, has been a writer for 16 years. The mother of three — the father of her youngest, Will, is actor Colin Firth — lives in Canada with her husband, Don. And though she says she's retired from acting, look for her in two new episodes of the sci-fi series Caprica.

Tilly is back in the U.S. promoting her 2006 novel, Gemma, which was just released in paperback. It tells the story of Gemma, a 12-year-old girl who is raped by her mother's boyfriend and then kidnapped by one of his friends. The kidnapper, Hazen, takes Gemma on a road trip, locking her in the trunk of his car during the day and sneaking her into crummy hotel rooms at night.

Tilly appears in Houston today and tomorrow to read from Gemma, a book with such graphic content that no one under 15 will be admitted to the readings.

We spoke to Tilly by phone from her home.

Q: Why are the scenes and language inGemmaso graphic?

A: What I didn't want to do is whitewash Hazen. This guy is a violent pedophile, a sexual obsessive. To dumb him down, to use different language, minimalizes what victims of this type of situation have gone through.

Q: Gemma tries, unsuccessfully, to escape from Hazen in the first half of the book, before he is caught by police. Did you include this to show how difficult is for abused children to flee from their abusers?

A: It's for people who have experienced these challenges, who understand the fear and helplessness. But it's also for people who haven't had these challenges but have a lot of judgment about people who have. It's easy to say, “Well this is what I would do in that situation,” but unless you have a background of being silenced, it's hard to understand.

Q: Was writingGemmatherapeutic for you?

A: I write things that I have to write, that I feel compelled to write. But I'm also a lot like Gemma. I like happy ever after. I don't even like scary movies.

Q: You were sexually abused as a child. Is the book based on your own experiences?

A: I wasn't kidnapped, but there were a lot of pedophiles tromping through our lives when I was little. My stepfather had been incarcerated for sex crimes before he came into my life. He was a beater. We had one kind of life before him — my mom had four kids and she was divorced when I was 3½ — and a different one after. My stepfather started getting funny with me when I was 12 or 13.

Q: Do you and your mother get along?

A: I have enormous compassion for her. But there was a period of time, when my kids were small, when I was very angry.

Q: When your debut book,Singing Songs, was published, you said it was fiction. You later said that the book, which also depicts abuse, was based on your own life. How does your family feel about this book andGemma?

A: When Singing Songs came out in 1994, most of my family wasn't talking to me. But things are much better now. Now, it's like the doors are open wide. When you are able to step forward, you see it's not your dirty secret. It's theirs.

Q: Your older sister, Jennifer, is also an accomplished actress. Are you two close?

A: We're in a really good place. We go on vacations together. She's there for me. And she's also this amazing poker player. I can't watch her playing poker, because I don't see her there. Her face is a mask.

Q: Gemma invents something she calls “Gemma Travel,” which lets her imagine beautiful places or delicious meals, even when she's gagged, tied and locked in a trunk. Did you and your siblings become skilled at hiding your feelings and cultivating imaginary worlds?

A: I made-believe all the time when I was a kid. We didn't have a lot of money. I'd have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. And if apples were in season, I'd have an apple picked off a tree.

Once in a while, I'd lean my head against the school bus window and imagine a big plate of spaghetti with meat sauce and lots and lots of Parmesan cheese. It helped. I'd be less hungry.

Q: You were nominated for an Oscar and won a Golden Globe for your role inAgnes of God.Do you miss being an actress?

A: I stopped acting about 15 years ago to raise my kids. Now, my kids are 25, 23 and 19. I do enjoy my writing life, and I don't see going back and trying to be an actress. First of all, I'm 50. I know Meryl Streep is still at it. But that's Meryl Streep.