Friday, April 17, 2009

When In Doubt, Just Call For Victory

COLUMBIA COUNTY — 20th Congressional District candidate Republican Jim Tedisco submitted a petition to the Dutchess County Supreme Court Thursday asking the judge to declare him the winner of the extremely close special election race, despite the numbers currently being in favor of his opponent, Democrat Scott Murphy.

According to The Associated Press, Murphy leads Tedisco by 178 votes district wide — 79,452 to 79,274. The only ballots that have not been counted are those challenged by each candidate’s lawyers, and while Tedisco’s office has said the challenges are roughly evenly split between the two camps, Columbia County lawyers for Murphy have only challenged 22 ballots, while Tedisco’s have challenged 258.

Nicely done. I'm going to head to my local courthouse today and ask to be crowned king. The results of that vote, or whether there was one at all, simply inconvenience my desire to rule over the land like a colossus.

Cher's Dad (looking at her new-and-improved report card): Cher, what's this all about? Cher: My report card? Cher's Dad: The same semester? Cher: Uh-huh! Cher's Dad: What did you do? Turn in some extra credit reports? Cher: No. Cher's Dad: You take the midterms over? Cher: Uh-uh. Cher's Dad: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-? Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud? Cher's Dad: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.

I think this is just the first step in repealing the 17th amendment and going back to selecting lawmakers instead of having the unwashed rabble VOTE for them.

...Scott Murphy's now up by 264 votes, proving once again that the judges have to step in and stop this count before things get out of hand and the Democrat wins.