14. You end up learning shit that you really don’t want to know, like the fact “free-range” isn’t really free.

Turns out it just means the chickens are crammed into a big metal barn. So you end up skint because you start buying those eggs that cost £9.99 from hens that live in Highgrove House and get hugged by Prince Charles once a day.

15. You feel a twinge of guilt whenever you eat something that they can’t have in front of them.

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Even if they say they don’t mind. It’s like you’re basically rubbing your gooey, meaty, creamy delights right in their face. And not in a good way.

16. Unless you’re a bit drunk, then you just wave bits of cheese at them: “LOL YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS!”

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Full disclosure: This is not great for your relationship.

17. You’ve ~probably~ made the occasional attempt at becoming vegan if you’re in a long-term relationship.

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Mainly because you know all the recipes, products, and facts. But you fail after about a day, because of cheese. Sweet, delicious cheese.

18. You can’t escape the inevitable arguments about which restaurant to go to.

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“OMG they just opened a new vegan raw food organic juice caf…” “No, Greg.”

19. You can’t quite resist taking the piss out of them for not eating honey either.

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Because bees are just fucking bees and it’s not like you’re eating the bees, just borrowing their stuff FFS.

20. But you get offended on their behalf if anyone else is cheeky to them. After all, that’s your job.

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“HOW DARE YOU JOKE THAT MY GIRLFRIEND LIVES ON MUD AND TWIGS, MARSHA. TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME GOD.”

21. At the end of the day, you admire their beliefs and conviction and wouldn’t change them for the world.

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Apart from their addiction to shit like kale. Stop eating kale. Stop making us eat kale. Just no.