FAQ

Thursday, November 22, 2012

How to obtain a youthful look (with poll)

One of the most important thing in the kpop industry is looks! And I do mean...LOOKS! You might argue against this statement, but many top stars such as Uee, Sohee, Yoona were selected mainly for their looks (and incorrect pedo-predictions of human development bad tastes ). They barely give a damn if you sound like a 69 years old tranny grandma, or a donkey (if you are Taecyeon). So how do you obtain the holy grail of [most] idols' looks? Recently, top artists such as Sojin, Bom, and Hyunah have shared a simple secret to keep their faces fresh and youthful all the time!

Get a plastic surgeon who has a fetish for animals...faces that resembles horses, hamsters, or hyenas can be extremely popular in Korea. It helps if both the customer and the surgeon have a bestiality fetish. However, it is not required. Even among plastic surgeons, there is a very distinct ranking order. Choosing a Hyomin horse face vs. a Jessica one can make or break your future. Don't be cheap ladies [or guys], you are paying for your future and husband by doing this. It's a good investment, I promise.

If all fails, you can always ask me questions...or follow up with a back up plan with this backup schematic face. I can confirm that most plastic surgeons have done this face multiple times before graduating from their backyard academy. Plus, who would not want to be with Eunhulk oppar??!

Honestly, who can resist a free Eunhulk Eunhyuk as a gift ?

With a plastic infused face, you'll defy time. This is a poor man's way to travel away from Earth close to the speed of light. (if you are a nerd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOL2d-5-pJ8 )

And there you have it, Sojin's real advice on how to obtain a youthful look. It has already been proven by Bom, the true Fountain of Youth. Testimony from SNSD's favorite member-Sica had also bolstered this theory. Yoona, Son Dambi, Kim Tae Hee can laugh now, but we all know what will happen when they get old...while Bom can stay classy as a duck for her whole life ^.^

Sojin began by revealing her age, saying, “I’m 27 years old and Girl’s Day’s maknae Hyeri is 19. We’re 8 years apart,” surprising everyone in the studio who did not know of the age gap between the members.

The panel and guest members were then marveled at her youthful look and questioned the singer on how she maintained her young appearance. To this, Sojin answered, “You’ll look younger if you have fluffy cheeks, so I eat a lot every night to have plump cheeks [the next day].”

inb4rotaryknight iz madddddddd

PS: Don't be too cheap, surgery-gone-wrong is more unlikely if you are willing to invest in famous names. Don't be the next Kwanghee okay? Stay classy ^.^