Remember all the drama about preschool? All my bad behavior? For naught, I say. We moved and now that preschool is just too far for me to be schlepping across the world so The Boy can have Music and Movement on Thursdays. Our options are limited here in the country but I stumbled upon Another preschool. A preschool that requires that I get another job just to fund it. It costs more than a full semester at Community College but 1/2 the cost of The Babysitter. So I had to get a second job. It’s all good, right?

So tonight was parent/teacher night. Only yesterday did I realize that not only did I have to pay for school, I was also expected to volunteer 15 hours of my time. I guess that would be 15 hours of our family time. But I just can’t see The Husband making baked goods for some meeting but whatever. There was something about Campbell Soup Labels but apparently those in the school administration haven’t gotten the memo about how Campbell’s soup is no longer “good food.” I mean, all the sodium. But back to the meeting.

I got all gussied up and The Babysitter came over after her parent/teacher conferences to watch The Offspring while we went to our conference.

The Babysitter: Well look at you.
K: I bathed.
The Babysitter: I noticed. And look at those shoes (pointing to the closest thing I get to FMP’s these days).
K: I’m dressed to impress. Are you glad to know that there are parents out there that get dressed up to meet the teacher?
The Babysitter/New Teacher-come-Tuesday: Yeah, I never notice that.

So the teachers don’t care? I put on deodorant for THIS?

We went to the meeting. Can I say it is a rare occasion when we are not only nearly the youngest people in the room, but also clearly the hippest. It’s safe to say that my black high heels were the only ones in the room. Everyone else was wearing Birkenstocks. Had babies in slings. Openly nursing elementary-aged children. (OK, not really but wouldn’t it make for a better story?) It’s rare these days when I am the “main-stream-person-not-embarrassing-others-with-my-suddenly-disturbingly-crunchy-behavior.” I had to reintroduce myself to The Boy’s teacher who opening admitted that she didn’t recognize me from our meeting 7 hours earlier.

Do I really look that bad normally?

I called Jen to discuss how incredibly out of our element we are at The Other Preschool.

Jen: You didn’t know this about The Other Preschool?
K: No.
Jen: Really? It’s pretty much common knowledge.
K: No. I’m there because someone said it would make The Boy mentally exhausted by the end of the day . I felt like a Pilgrim on the Mayflower, heading toward the New World so my children can have the freedom to learn in the manner we seek.
Jen: A Pilgrim?
K: Separatist, if you will. Like we have just split from the Church of England because of Henry’s poor behavior.
Jen: What does Derek think?
K: He didn’t even know what I was talking about when I made the Pilgrim joke. Once they promised that there would be wine at the Parent Indoctrination meetings, he was sold.

He’s consistent, that husband of mine. You can’t fault a man for going with his true beliefs. And “Mommy Needs A Cocktail” t-shirt sales at the school? Not gonna happen. Of that, I am VERY, VERY sure.

I’m going to get lots of Sudoku time at all our sports practices this year. It’s going to be the only entertainment I can afford with all the league fees, coaching fees, and equipment fees. Why am I considering evening work at home when I work a full time day job?