Saturday, June 20, 2009

Last Day

Today was it. The final day of working for my nanny family. I am NOT taking nanny to A, K and M off my signature for I am their forever nanny :)Tonight was perfect. We went to dinner. My bosses were warned by me no tears or sad talk. I plan on seeing them lots and really my goal was to not loose it in front of those kids. We are nannies.We stay strong for our kids. I wanted them to be ok with the changes.My bosses gave me a necklace. It is gold with diamonds and the hanging down three gold strand with each kids birth stone. My mom boss said those are our kids stones. I almost lost it then. She started to cry and I stopped her saying "no way dont do it. This is a celebration!"She gave me a card and told me not to open it till I got home. In keeping with the not sad theme, I gave them a letter I had written and said the same "no opening till you get home."There was a beautiful note inside that made me cry. M had written Jenn Jenn you are the BEST ever! xoxoxox Love, M That's was priceless. They also gave me a generous bonus. I will write a thank you note and send it to them. The night was perfect. I didn't want a goodbye dinner but now I am SOOO happy i went. I'm soooo happy we did it. It validated a lot for me. All my years of being there. I feel at peace tonight. A good friend told me the anticipation is worst. She was so right. We will all be ok because we love each other. We said that we would see each other a lot. The kids are coming to my fundraiser for the local library Sunday. They are forever"my kids" and I am forever their nanny. :) Thanks to everyone for everything. All the kind words meant so much the last few week. You have all touched me heart.Jenn

2 comments:

Congrats Jenn! I can't wait to the wonderful stories about your next journey and better yet what "your kids" are up too. They were so lucky to have you as part of their lives as your were to be part of their lives.

Jenn, I wish I had been able to follow you through your last two weeks of being able to mesh daily with your beloved nanny family. Now that my schedule has eased up, and I've been able to come here and read your posts all in one go, I ache at your grief and am humbled by your courage.

I'm glad that at the end you did allow the big dinner out, with gifts. Your passing out of the household is such a milestone for all of you, I think you all needed a ritual to help yourselves acknowledge the impact you have all had on each other, and that regardless of your plans to keep in touch often, your transition from nanny to visiting former nanny is a big change.

So many people don't grasp that we as good nannies necessarily become intertwined with our families...especially with the kids. Kids can't become secure and grow mentally and emotionally unless they have a trusting and loving rapport with their caregivers...so by "getting too attached" (as many outsiders comment) we are actually responsibly doing our jobs and giving the children the foundation they need to be healthy and happy, and to develop normally. And when the job comes to a natural end, those intertwined tendrils of the loving bond are painful to disengage. It's a natural hazard of the nanny profession.

When others try to tell you you are wrong to grieve the loss of everyday direct involvement with 'your children who live with their parents', see these outsiders for what they are: clueless about what it means to be a nanny. Imagine, if you can, the kind of care given by a person who could leave a job helping to raise children, without feeling loss. I wouldn't want such a person even near children. Or near me.

So be patient with your feelings, and give yourself all the time you need to get through this change. Let the opinions of other about how you "should" be over it slide off your back like a duck.

You did a terrific job of taking care of these kids, and of separating from them with trust and love intact.

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