How to raise your second child better

Saturday, December 5, 2015

People always say you shouldn't compare one kid to another. They will always be different. Tracen and Skylor are almost exactly 2.5 years apart and I'd like to think I parent them exactly the same. The truth is I don't.

Since Tracen was our first and with about .01% of our friends having kids I basically winged the hell out of everything. I walked into Target and legit just scanned stuff that looked like we would need to take care of a baby. I didn't look at reviews, didn't ask any other moms and barely took the stroller for a spin around the store before registering it. This is an absolute result as to why I hated almost all of the baby stuff I had with Tracen. When I found out I was pregnant with Skylor, I researched and read every single review there was. People would have thought I was a first time mom.

The differences between Sky and Trace begun the day I gave birth to Skylor. Their births could not be more different and the days after were 100% opposite as well. {Here are Tracen and Skylor's birth stories if you haven't read them.}

Tracen never latched on so I made the decision to strictly pump. And pump my brains until I couldn't any longer I did. That shit is EXHAUSTING. With Sky I tried much harder with nursing and was able to stick with it longer but it was still a struggle and I still ended up pumping all the time. With Tracen he slept in his crib from day one and we WOKE him up to eat every three hours (dumb dumb dumb!) With Sky we bed shared and co-slept and we fed him only when HE woke up (hello 5 hour stretches of sleep from about week 2!)

With Tracen we made him a different meal other than ours every time he ate, with Sky he eats what we eat and eats EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. With Trace I wore him a hand full of times with Sky he's constantly strapped to me. I was the one that put Tracen to bed from the beginning and 99% of the time I still do or he has a complete, over the top meltdown. With Sky, we take turns but most nights Jerek puts him to bed. On the nights that I do theres no fight from him, just hugs and him BEGGING me to put him in his bead.

If you talk to parents that have more than one child most would probably tell you this is normal. You learn tips and tricks from the first one and swear you're going to do things differently the next time around. The problem I have is when people say that they are going to raise them "better."

The difference between the two shouldn't be measured and

compared in a way that they are the same, because they are not.

You should do things deferentially to make things work cohesively with your growing family, not because you think you eff'ed it up with the first one but because you are constantly learning. No one can quite say they know what they are doing their first time around, even if you are Jamie Grayson or Michelle Duggar.

I have no regrets with the way I've raised Tracen, we get complimented DAILY on how polite and respectful he is. Although meals and bedtime are a struggle we're working on it! I knew with Skylor that I wanted to change these two areas and for good reasons. Not because I wanted Sky to be the 'better eater' or the 'better sleeper' but because I've learned things from the first time around. I cringe when I hear people talk like this, as if you made a mistake with your first and are trying to redeem yourself or something?

Parenting is like being in school 24/7. You learn things in your freshmen year and apply them to your sophomore year {or hopefully you do.} You are constantly studying for the next test they are going to pull on you, cramming late night for an exam and you always have to be on your toes in case they ask you things like 'why don't you have a wiener like me mommy?' or 'how did I get in your belly?' Cause that shit happens, a lot!

Just remember that if you don't know what the hell you're doing the first time around, you might not the next time around either! Do know that you have the option to start over the next day and work on things. If all else fails, grab a glass of wine and watch these, because I have no idea what I'm ever doing either!