Ohboganers - passengers in cars that pass you with the window down and shout out OH when just off your shoulder. They are generally showing their Intelligence (or lack of) by their extensive vocabulary, they also think they are the first to do this and are making jump out of your skin because you didn't hear the car . They can also throw things out the window at you but with their great grasp of physics is usually land about 10m in front of you even though it only travelled 2m sideways. The car is usually driven by a bogan as mention above.

Last edited by westab on Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mother Duck : This is where a hardcore biker decides to help his partner (usually female) into commuting. He/She will be dressed often in full kit, and will often be carrying seemingly a trailer load of stuff in a backpack for said partner. You'll pick him/her because they will be riding along ridiculously slowly, and will be constantly looking over their shoulder at their expiring partner. Also often seen stopped at the top of a hill looking back with a exasperated expression while partner dressed in civies slowly climbs the hill.

So similar Comedian toThe Father Figure - The fully kitted weekend warrior often seen stopped at the top of a hill looking back with a exasperated expression while the rest of the cycling newbies he's riding with slowly climb the hill.

Then there's the Swiss Army Cyclist - like it's namesake the Swiss Army Knife, this rider has every conceivable (and not always so useful) attachment to his/her bicycle. Seat bag, multiple water bottle holders holing multiple water bottles, lights, bells, mudguards, racks and panniers, pumps, cycle computer, including cadence and heart monitors, mirrors, side stand, reflectors, ad infinitum. This wouldn't be so bad if they were kitting out for a 3 week across the state and back tour but their commute is only 3km.

fatherofmany wrote:Then there's the Swiss Army Cyclist - like it's namesake the Swiss Army Knife, this rider has every conceivable (and not always so useful) attachment to his/her bicycle. Seat bag, multiple water bottle holders holing multiple water bottles, lights, bells, mudguards, racks and panniers, pumps, cycle computer, including cadence and heart monitors, mirrors, side stand, reflectors, ad infinitum. This wouldn't be so bad if they were kitting out for a 3 week across the state and back tour but their commute is only 3km.

But the true Swiss army cyclist would have a fold-on bike and can fit all his/her gear in their pockets. Or one carry-on luggage in this case.

fatherofmany wrote:Then there's the Swiss Army Cyclist - like it's namesake the Swiss Army Knife, this rider has every conceivable (and not always so useful) attachment to his/her bicycle. Seat bag, multiple water bottle holders holing multiple water bottles, lights, bells, mudguards, racks and panniers, pumps, cycle computer, including cadence and heart monitors, mirrors, side stand, reflectors, ad infinitum. This wouldn't be so bad if they were kitting out for a 3 week across the state and back tour but their commute is only 3km.

Most excellent. Can I add top tube bag & head tube bag into the mix? Swiss Army Cylcist needs to carry at least four spare tubes, chain and cassette, coz you just never know..

The sidewinder - This rider is one who you see on th road and shared pathways who is usually lisening to their IPod / MP3 player with or without any hands on the handlebars and is winding all over the road. They often are sing along but they all have next to no idea of what is going on around them. You may try to let them know you are about to pass but they won't hear you either due to hearing damage or the music. They are often not wearing helmets.

westab wrote:The sidewinder - This rider is one who you see on th road and shared pathways who is usually lisening to their IPod / MP3 player with or without any hands on the handlebars and is winding all over the road. They often are sing along but they all have next to no idea of what is going on around them. You may try to let them know you are about to pass but they won't hear you either due to hearing damage or the music. They are often not wearing helmets.

The Ego 500n. What a cyclist wins after he is dropped by a fitter cyclist on a steep or extended climb, only to pass him again at the end of the following descent after pedalling furiously the whole way.

Example: Fitter cyclist to said Fred: "Congratulations, you've just won the Ego 500."

Sorry to drag up an old one, but this has been hilarious. love the Supanova. Gold. What about The DRAFTEE - the guy / gal that you have never met in your life that sits on your back wheel the whole way up an extended climb and never once offers to take the lead for a stretch.

Usually a new-ish rider competing cat 6 and/or in the TdC over rolling hill kind-of terrain. Tailgates downhill (probably thinking they are drafting?), starts dropping back on the flat-ish bit then properly drops back going up hill, catches up on the down hill again rinse repeat.

If he catches you on the downhill you're not going hard enough

Hillclimbs are the great circuit-breaker, letting you drop any drafters.

They're also a great source of embarassment when they drop you up hills. On a particularly weary commute in on the morning, got dropped by some clown on an electric assisted moped whilst climbing the only hill on my inbound route. The fact I caught and passed them afterwards is a small consolation, if any.

Fred Nurk wrote:They're also a great source of embarassment when they drop you up hills. On a particularly weary commute in on the morning, got dropped by some clown on an electric assisted moped whilst climbing the only hill on my inbound route. The fact I caught and passed them afterwards is a small consolation, if any.

That's bulldust Fred, no shame in being passed by Fabcycle riders unless you can see the battery leads dangling.

...whatever the road rules, self-preservation is the absolute priority for a cyclist when mixing it with motorised traffic.London Boy 29/12/2011

Comedian wrote:Mother Duck : This is where a hardcore biker decides to help his partner (usually female) into commuting. He/She will be dressed often in full kit, and will often be carrying seemingly a trailer load of stuff in a backpack for said partner. You'll pick him/her because they will be riding along ridiculously slowly, and will be constantly looking over their shoulder at their expiring partner. Also often seen stopped at the top of a hill looking back with a exasperated expression while partner dressed in civies slowly climbs the hill.

LOL Man thats funny, most of those descriptions are of me and my wife, especially the civies and climbing the hill... Good rides though but funny

Being Chicked : This is where a male cyclist has his doors sucked off by a "chick". This can be very traumatic for the male cyclist.

I can't claim credit for this though. I saw this on Lisa Jacobs hilarious "Ride Happy" blog. Hat tip to Lisa's Mum.

Dear Lisa's Mum,I desperately seek your counsel. Yesterday, I was the victim of a traumatic incident. I was out riding and this cyclist came past me and almost sucked my helmet off. I chased for a while, then just as I was about to give up the cyclist turned around and it was a GIRL! I have never been passed by anyone before other than that guy at work who trains really hard and is going to race the Gatorade triathlon series in the Summer with other elite athletes. I am a happily married diesel mechanic with 4 children and I love steak and AC/DC, but this has compromised my manhood. What should I do?

Horrified,Williamstown

Dear Horrified

I believe your experience is what is known in common parlance as â€˜being chickedâ€™. Don't be too hard on yourself. Some of my best friends are chicks, although I never let them ride with me because they half-wheel and have no respect for wicker baskets. My advice to you is that next time you feel in danger of being chicked, just feign a rear wheel puncture and pull over with a concerned look. If the chick offers to help, insist gallantly that she ride on, because changing a tube IS a man's job, after all. If the chick is a friend of yours, you can follow up later on with an explanation of the diabolical mechanical that prevented you ripping her legs off, which is, you can explain, what would have happened on any other day if only you hadn't punctured.

There is a faint whirring; is that someone behind you? But you won't look, you won't give the game away. Accelerate, he accelerates. Change up, he changes up. You can just hear his bike as the wind shifts. Damn he is good, you are nearly at the redline. Good enough for you to turn and have a look at him now. No-one there, just an empty road. Derailleur Drafter â€“ A paranoid-egotistic psychosis causing you to race the noises from your own derailleur.

ft_critical wrote:There is a faint whirring; is that someone behind you? But you won't look, you won't give the game away. Accelerate, he accelerates. Change up, he changes up. You can just hear his bike as the wind shifts. Damn he is good, you are nearly at the redline. Good enough for you to turn and have a look at him now. No-one there, just an empty road. Derailleur Drafter â€“ A paranoid-egotistic psychosis causing you to race the noises from your own derailleur.

ft_critical wrote:There is a faint whirring; is that someone behind you? But you won't look, you won't give the game away. Accelerate, he accelerates. Change up, he changes up. You can just hear his bike as the wind shifts. Damn he is good, you are nearly at the redline. Good enough for you to turn and have a look at him now. No-one there, just an empty road. Derailleur Drafter â€“ A paranoid-egotistic psychosis causing you to race the noises from your own derailleur.

I once raced a rider who sat RIGHT on my back wheel no matter how hard I rode he/she was a machine. I never looked round at him/her didn't want them to know I was exhausted. Wished I did cause when I did look, I realized it was my own shadow. Had a good laugh at myself.

ft_critical wrote:There is a faint whirring; is that someone behind you? But you won't look, you won't give the game away. Accelerate, he accelerates. Change up, he changes up. You can just hear his bike as the wind shifts. Damn he is good, you are nearly at the redline. Good enough for you to turn and have a look at him now. No-one there, just an empty road. Derailleur Drafter â€“ A paranoid-egotistic psychosis causing you to race the noises from your own derailleur.

Well, with DST ending, I spent the weekend converting my bike into the SupaNova. Now have three sets of flashing red lights (Knog Skink, Planet Bike Super Flash, Planet Bike Rack Blinky 5) for the rear. I have a Knog Beetle on the front, which will now be totally outshone by the two sets of AyUps attached to the front (One Intermediate, One Narrow). I also have an Exelite LumiSash jut in case anyone "can't see me".The first motorists that gives me a "SMIDSY" may well go blind when they get those AyUps in their eyes, along with "Can you see me now?....What about now????"

I make no apologies for being visible in the dark. The amount of respect that the AyUps get me is amazing. I must look like a freight train coming down the road!

Last edited by queequeg on Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

queequeg wrote:The first motorists that gives ne a "SMIDSY" may well go blind when they get those AyUps in their eyes, along with "Can you see me now?....What about now????"

thanks for the chuckle!

Max

One of the best things about bicycle commuting is that it can mitigate the displeasure of having to go to work. - BikeSnobNYCCycling is sometimes like bobbing for apples in a bucket full of dicks. - SydGuy