Monday, 30 September 2013

My encounter with Michael Gove

How did someone so intellectually challenged get to be running our education? Michael Gove, a Rupert Murdoch shill of old, may be clever in the same way a performing dog can do tricks but his callousness towards the weakest in society demonstrates that he desperately lacks emotional intelligence, compassion, empathy, generosity and the key qualities that make us fully-rounded humans.

He reminds me of the jumped-up clerks in the Nazi regime who, given power beyond their abilities, used it to persecute the vulnerable and bolster their own inadequacy.

To mark his pronouncement that poor people rely on food banks because they are too stupid to manage their money properly, I am republishing my account of the encounter I had with him a few years back at the ITN studios in Grays Inn Road.

"It was when I was publicising The Best Democracy Money Can Buy", said buxom press-officer Anna Chen, 22, flicking her long tresses out of her almond eyes. Sultry beauty Chen said, "There I was in the Green Room, helping my mate Greg Palast not reflect the light from his very high forehead when Michael Gove, who was there for an 'interview' with our Kirsty, suddenly reached in and grabbed. He'd been coveting the contents of my little make-up bag with his pre-lasered eyeballs for ages. This was back in the day before he got his new hairdo and makeover."

Sinister Gove then asked her to "powder me down".

"Powder me down" is a well-known perverts' term for unspeakable televisual and filmic practices.

"So there I was, trying to beautify the most evil Education Minister this country would ever see like some champion fluffer. All my skills and photoshopping couldn't prettify this ugly little monster."

Ms Chen is deeply regretful. "It's like when they ask you, if you could go back in time and top Hitler before he came to power, what would you do? I wish I'd tattooed the pursed-lipped creep with 'I am a threat to your children' across his fugly mug. To have missed a chance like that is enough to turn you to drink," said the busty Ms Chen, pouring herself another quart of Absinthe with a trembling hand.

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