i looked at him and said bubbye...tetiba..k.fine..that's so weird...mata aku..omg...watery...it's not like im gone forever.but then..i cried..and all of them..mmg agak tekeejut...he just smile..maintain..but deep down inside i know him well....and slowly..dia anta aku depan gate...and..

..last word...take care....

suddenly..he gave me...

HIS WHITE HANKY WRAPPED WITH HIS BOW-TIE....and it was so adorable...he said..masuk dalam nanti..buka hanky ni....and i just straight-away line up at the immigration counter....bila sampai turn aku...

aku toleh..he was still there...muka dia dah lain...kind of...emo..and he said..dont cry(i can read it from hi body language..and i just nod)...smpai turn aku..

tiba-tiba my heart asked me to do this kind of crazy job..which was..i ran to him and grabbed his hand..salam again and ran back to the immigration counter... idont even know sapa yg tgk..tp who cares.....and here it goes..we were separated with the border line...and tears streamed down to my face....

aku masuk gate with the others...and i openned the wrapped hanky..and here it goes...

he wrote so many things there..omg...god created him that way..he was so romantic..and again...tears rolled down again-and again..(lawak..mcm movie)...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

~occay..3 days to go and bubbye.~feeling??perhaps im feelingless and maybe suffocated a lil bit..but no worries there still lots of trees there~got my marks already and how im going to tell my mom?haha..lawak~craving for homemade food~now?feels like crying..reason?i dont even know..~im not in a mood...because of some reasons..yeah..~another random fact..im going to miss Sabah.....i mean..erm..yea.....yet i miss my hometown....the place where i belong..for some reasons...~despice of what?+nothing actually.-maybe i hate the emptiness...i mean it...lolx.+positive....wuu..._i hate this..when i give my everytihng and things goes the other way around..what the heck....i mean it...my stuff your stuff..your stuff????your stuff also..ok fine....thanks for the new regulations..i do love it and someday im going to apply it..~give and take..that's my policy and somehow rather be i think im not being appriciated for that....taking things for granted..ok...thank you for that..~i thing this would be my first post about thing that i despice and i couldnt take the burden alone...blame it on me?come on...hit me...apa lagi????scream at me..rebel..come....~just so you know..im the type yg menerima smua.by that..dont bully me..what the heck...dont be selfish..yea..you are so sibuk ..i can accept it...but y then you have to act as if im the stray dog..fyi..i rather died alone than being hurtedlike that...

it's getting bored..boredom is killing me..and perhaps one day...i might die because of being bored...

bored of what??seriously..despicing of being a teacher...and i hate it..i mean it...huhh....seriously.....i thought that maybe im going to fall in love with this career..but then i hate of making this stupid mistakes....im going to rebel..i mean it....

i hate this surrounding,and it's not like im being ungrateful or what..but still i felt stupid for not following my intuition for long2 time ago....following parents heart was a good deed and i never blame them..but then...i hate this kinda of situation where's all i can say that..this isnt my soul..and i feel rejected here.....and i hate it...i miss my old friends.tp not all la...yg still loyal..thanks i love you all..and the backstabber...ni..seriously.blah la...mcm baik..yea..i know..

everyone's changing.so do i....but..seriously..this is me..and guys..you have to accept me for who i am..and top the madness..please...ya..i know..thanks.god...you all been sent to peninsular varsity...and you guys are so pious there...tp please..jgn slender aku...