Leadville training day 4

Late night last night, but ate smart and stuffed myself with fish, potatoes and green beans knowing today would not be easy. Yesterday's success, even with the altered course, was a huge confidence booster. Woke up with nausea, forced down a blueberry muffin and water and we were off to ascend hope pass again this morning. 11ish miles round trip. Legs heavy. Worried about being able to pick up new kicks over rocks and roots coming down. The confidence I had from yesterday's run disappeared as soon as I parked the car and looked up at hope pass. Immediately filled with fear. I tried to call coach. I wanted out of this run. I was hoping he'd let me out. Fortunately he didnt answer. Why am i so afraid? What is wrong with you? Lori, you ran Leadville 100 last year...in 28 hours. You have put less miles than that spread out over 4 days. The fear made me more fearful. I got up off the curb and we started. We moved running slowly across the flat to the base of hope. My goal was to take it easy going up. Not push so hard and not worry about my pace. For the first time on this trip I listened. I opened my eyes and my heart and listened to the mountain, to nature. She was telling me to look around. The temperature was in the 40s with a slight breeze. The trail, the trees, the bright white and yellow butterflies were telling me to relax and enjoy. The butterflies teasing me to come further. We hit the base of hope. I looked down at the rocks and roots and pine needles. The mountain said, "i'm not going to hurt you, lets enjoy eachother's company". I found a rythm and climbed. It was slow, but I was determined not to care. I wouldnt look at my watch..my heart rate, my pace, the time. I fueled and hydrated aggressively. I would open 1 gel every 20 minutes and slowly take it in over that time. My pacer encouraged me to try this to see if I could get more steady energy and reduce nausea and gut cramping. It worked pretty well. I hydrated well going up. It seemed like it took forever to get above treeline, but we did. Started at 9200 ft and peaked at 12600 ft. Felt much better today. No sense of "altitude sickness". Breathing still kinda nutty, but better than previous days. Turned around and cruised down. Kept it easy making sure I was focusing not hooking those ronald mcdonald length shoes on rocks or roots. I did good. Made it to the bottom and ran to the river crossing. Daaaaang cold hip deep crossing and back to car. Confidence building. 89 miles in 4 days.Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S™4, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone