Monday, September 12, 2011

Go Away!

You. It’s always been you, the one who has the power to hurt me the most. From the very beginning you had such high expectations of me. I strived so hard to meet every single one. Sometimes I succeeded, but not always and I when I didn’t I felt like a failure. You made choices at times that left not only deep emotional scars but sometimes even physical ones. I thought I was free from your trap, but every now and again I turn a corner and feel you around me like a phantom cobweb. You will always be a part of my past, but I don’t want you to be a part of my present or future. Your negativity and unreasonable demands are not wanted. Forgiveness is a process and I’ve been in it for a while with you and most days there is much healing. There was a time I would have said I hated you, but I’ve come to accept you and even love you. Oh, there are days I still get angry with you and days I want to change you but I can’t. Only God can and I know He is. One day you’ll be just a gentle reminder of what I left behind and how far I have come.