Growing up there was a girl in our neighborhood who had the reputation of being bossy. Since she was considered the ring leader, most of the parents tended to blame her whenever we got into trouble. Being a smart girl, it didn’t take me long to figure out that I could blame this girl for just about anything and my parents would believe me. It got so carried away that at one point I blamed her for lighting matches in our basement (which I had done). My parents stormed over to her house and we never played again.

I am reminded of this story because we have a child in our life right now that we tend to blame quickly for anything he is even remotely around. We want to be wise to his foolishness, while not letting our children off the hook for their part in any matter.

So in situations where we are not 100% sure what happened, we let our children know that they are guilty by association. In other words, if they didn’t stand up and stop the foolishness, then they are of some blame.

If you are the parent of the child that is always blamed, don’t give up. Unfortunately, a reputation like this takes awhile to undo, whether the child deserves it or not. If the child does tend towards foolishness then teach them what wise choices are. Telling a foolish child that they are good and just need to stop making foolish choices and make good choices won’t work. These children don’t know what the right choice is.

These children need constant loving guidance. Some children have a tough time taking wisdom of one situation to the next. Loving guidance may include laying out every scenario imaginable. Whenever correction is needed, be sure to include what the correct response or action would look like. Even if this child says, ”I know” continue playing out correct responses for them, because their actions speak louder than their words.

It was a park date. A number of families were getting together for fellowship, fun.

At the end of the day the initiator of the day was disappointed with some of the “play” that went on and emailed a couple of the families.

During the time at the park there had been some boys that were “panting” each other. In other words, they were trying to pull each other’s pants down. Of the three families represented by these boys, one parent sat and did nothing; another pulled over one child and told them to stop, but when the play continued the parent did nothing; and as far as the last family goes, the parents were not present at the time of “panting”.

The email addressed that “panting” is not respectful to others. As Christians we are to respect one another and it was not only uncomfortable for some of recipients, it was also extremely awkward for the girls at the park.

Each family that received the email had a different response, but one response stood out. -The last family, quickly replied to the email by stating, “Have noted the problem and are dealing with it here at home.”

What a beautiful response! Let’s be like that mature parent; receive correction and act on it.

“I am so disappointed with him right now, he knows better.” This parent was referring to their four year old not wearing a life jacket.

“I am so embarrassed by how my children act around you.” What?! Why do I affect your view of your children?"Isn't he lazy? He would prefer to not eat than to make it himself."This sounds like the parent is talking about a stranger not their child. So how long do you indulge this?

Parents have no reason to ever be embarrassed about their child’s behavior. (Stay with me) Children are capable of anything; their short comings should not surprise us. The time when a parent should be embarrassed is when they sit and do nothing!

It is our job to train our children; that does not mean just telling them one time. Training in and of itself infers repetition. We must teach, correct, rebuke, encourage and then repeat until a child’s default is the godly character you have instilled.