Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Well, It IS Better Than Cybersex, Because At Least You Can Text With Just One Hand.

So we’ve been receiving a hefty amount of dirty text messages on our cellphone lately.

We do not solicit said dirty text messages, in fact, we don’t even think we’re the kind of person who particularly LIKES dirty text messages. But here’s a sampling of some of the ones we’ve received recently, all from different sources. NOTE – none of these people are our boyfriends, nor are they even people that we are actively dating.

From last night, a string of three from a random drunk acquaintance we ran into at a party:

“I would love to get in the sack with you as I am as good as they say.” “I could be a falcon star.” “I am a good top and bottom.”

Mmmm. Ok. We’ll take your word for it. Over the weekend, this ones popped up, from a friend from out of town: “Just had a rain shower… dripping naked.”

Not so dirty? How about this one we got last week, from a boy we met during the Republican National Convention in 2004: “Hey, remember me? I am coming to NYC soon. Wanna get together? BTW, how hung r u?”

Um, what?

Or this, from another out-of towner, which we received out of the blue while in the car with our mom: “Are you hard right now?” When we texted back “wtf?” he replied “Well, I was thinking about fucking ur tight asshole just then.”

Oh, of course.

In recent months, we have received dozens of dirty text messages. From friends, acquaintances, lovers, strangers. Is dirty texting the phone sex of the 21st century? Or is this just one final nail driven into the coffin of intimacy?

And, more importantly, are we freaks that the use of textspeak like “u” and “r” immediately makes us lose an erection?