It
was a beautiful day, as you can see, the sun was shining at its, no doubt, best,
the sky was cloudless and of a light blue color, the wind was breezy but warm,
and the birds in the sky chirped and chirped until you knew every note. A
regular May school day,

As I settled down in my
homeroom class, room 35, taught by a wonderful teacher named Mrs. Argill who
loved math, the speaker suddenly made a loud, screeching sound that hurt your
ears. I twas our principal, Mrs. Marchinsoda, (pronounced marching soda)
and she was on all of the PA systems every day, unusually late to say the Pledge
of Allegiance. After that, she informed all staff and students of any
notices or school changes. Today, the notice was particularly odd. Everyone
thought they had a flaw with their hearing, for Mrs. Marchinsoda announced that
from now on, gum would be permitted in this school, and our school only. Hi. My
name is Tiffany Chang. I'm in 6th grade and 11 years old. I'm turning 12 on July
4, and I'm darn proud of that too. I love math. I also like music, but my
opinion of this school's music class is not very high. Of course, all I really
like are the elegant shows that 5th and 6th graders put on. They are truly the
best in the state - maybe best in the country, or the world! I should say that,
the glory of the shows put on really depends on what kind of show it is, and
what the chorus likes. If you put on a boring, educational-only show, and the
chorus thought that too, you wouldn't have much luck on an expert show. Of
course, it also depends on how you teach the kids, and what kind of mood they're
in.

This year, we planned a
Broadway show that was two hours and 55 minutes long. Although that may seem
like a long time for almost any Elementary show, it was extremely worth it. The
audience applauded before, during, and after the show. They clapped louder and
loner at the end, though. I know all of us felt really good because even the
grumpiest kid in the grade burst out in smiles and whoopied to the audience. In
response, the audience cheered even louder, and this time they threw bunches of
fresh flowers, cards, and 1/3 even threw big, red, stuffed, and cute Elmos at
us! I got one Elmo, three bunches of roses, and 5 cards. I could tell one card
was printed by a little kid because of the spelling mistakes. It said,
"Dear purformer, I hope you take this note as a very grand and sinsere
complimint. My parints and sister loved the show! I wunder if we will put on
such a gloreos and magnifisint show when I get to six grade. Love, Jenna."

I was somewhat touched by
that letter. I showed it to Mrs. Argill, and she said I was so fortunate that I
had gotten such an inspiring letter. I agreed.

Back to what I was talking
about. All the classes shrieked words of delightfulness as the PA went off. Mrs.
Argill just dropped her purse and didn't pick it up. Speechless again. But this
time, I wasn't surprised why. I stepped up to her desk and asked her what she
thought of this, and why she thinks Mrs. Marchinsoda just said that. Mrs. Argill
resumed to her speech senses, and said that maybe the principal wanted to quit,
but no one would let her. Then, she thought up this crazy idea that if she did
something like this, the Board would fire her. She would then get her wish
without having to fuss with the superintendent about her resigning. I thought
that was a reasonable response, since I didn't have any idea at all. I also
informed her that since kids could start chewing gum in class, no one would
probably listen to any of their teachers. Instead, they would be chatting in
class about what flavor and brand gum they were chewing, recommending a certain
brand of gum, or worse, spitting gum where it didn't belong. That turned out to
be a big problem. Since many students weren't used to chewing gum in class, and
they thought that this was only a temporary rule, they took every advantage they
could find to chew all the gum they brought to school, and every advantage to
throw it away. Of course, you would be thinking right now that they would only
have their jean's pockets, coat pockets, or just pockets to put a day's
worth of gum in. Instead, they put all the gum they had (there's more than you
think) in their backpacks, and usually that would last an average gum chewer a
week. This backpack full of gum wouldn't last two days. I wonder why. Mrs.
Argill also wondered why. No one else did, though. My parents don't allow gum
chewing, so I was stuck with asking my friends Julie Liu, Laura Yu, and Emily
Wang for a stick or two of Bubblicious gum. They never turned me down, but I
think they're sick of giving me gum ever day. Once, Emily screamed at me,
"Why don't you bring your own gum, Tiffany?" I screeched back at her,
"My parents don't allow it, dope!!" After that, Emily dumped all her
gum wrappers on me and walked away. I had to pick it up and throw it in the
garbage can, of course. After several hours, Julie dragged Emily over to
apologize. After saying, "Sorry, Tiff," glumly, she punched me square
in the jaw. It hurt. Julie had to haul her back to class with Laura's help
because Julie was afraid she was too weak to pull Emily. This was most
surprising to me, since Julie was very athletic, loved soccer, basketball, and
teniss, and a very strong girl for her age. Emily wasn't any stronger, but this
time, she probably felt like she weighed around 300 lbs. She was carried away
still smoking her ears out, and still wanting another whiff of punching me in
the face. She didn't get in trouble for that, because only Julie and Laura saw
her punching me. They didn't tell, I didn't tell, so it became a big secret
between us, a secret worth 'punching' for. Get it? Now, this is the real story.
Listen closely, or you won't "get it." Get it?

This is now three weeks after
the great rule was passed. In my class, there was this really smart kid who was
just obsessed with gum chewing and all information about every brand of
gum. When some of us are only fascinated in gum chewing, and just want to know
where to get the gum, Jonathan (the obsessed kid) could tell you where to get
the gum, along with how to get there, a detailed description of where it's
located in the store, what price it currently was, and everything it says on the
gum label, even the ingredients section. You find yourself becoming bored out of
your head because you are stuck with Jonathan telling you everything (usually it
is everything) about the gum you are asking information on. You can be
sure Jonathan has tasted all the gum brands in the world, and can give you the
most specific description of its taste. Ask for a brief summary, and it
takes at least ten minutes. Now you know how long the original description is.
If you try to escape the horror of the description part, Jonathan just pulls you
back and tells you to listen more carefully. This is the moment where you
actually want to get back to class.

A really big thing happened
today. To Jonathan. Something you may have always dreamed of, or talked about,
but never experienced in real life. Today, Jonathan was sent to the principal,
then dismissed from school. We all starved for the explanation, but Mrs. Argill
just kept saying that her hair was still sticky. We didn't know what that meant,
of course. Finally, we had an answer. You see, since Jonathan yearned gum, you
can be sure he chews it all day in school and at home. If you can be sure that
he chews it, you can be sure that he has to spit it into the garbage can when
there was no more flavor in it. And if you're sure he has to spit it into the
garbage can all day, you can be sure he misses plenty of times, with the
key that he's not a very good spitter. And if you can be sure he misses lots of
times, you can be sure the chewed gum will sometimes end up in the wrong place.
And that's where the story begins.

Hi. My name is Julie Liu.
This is just an outline of what happened in homeroom class today. First, I'll
talk about me. I'm 12 years old; my birthday is May 15. I'm the oldest of Laura
Yu, Emily Wang, and Tiffany Cheng. I'm also the most dependable and trustworthy,
not to brag of course. I think Emily is an unearthly alien from the planet
Girthead. She acts weird around Tiffany sometimes, not mentioning the last time
she punched Tiffany. I can see Tiff's mouth is still a little unnatural. Tiffany
and I don't have braces, but Emily and Laura do. We all have glasses, except
Tiffany has contacts, which she says are stupid, and keeps trying to sue the
Contact Lenses Company. She never succeeded, but she never gives up.

Anyway, Jonathan was chewing
gum this afternoon in class, while no one but Emily, Laura, Tiffany, and I were
paying any attention at all to the lesson we were studying. Suddenly, in one
quick move, John spit out his Bubblicious gum and tried to aim for the garbage.
The point of my concern was not because John didn't aim very well, but because
he struck Mrs. Argill in her hair, and actually laughed at that. I would've
punched him right there, but because I have good sportsmanship, I kept my hands
to myself, and only let out a sever groan. It was amazing how only after I had
told Mrs. Argill that she had gum stuck in her hair, and who had done it, that
she, for the first time, realized that she had gum clinging in her hair. She got
so mad that she sent Jonathan straight to Mrs. Marchinsoda's office. SO,
Jonathan marched out of the room - carrying fourteen packs of Bubblicious gum
with him. Mrs. Marchinsoda didn't care whether John chewed gum or not in her
office, for she was the one who had allowed it. One thing that she did
care about was the fact that someone spit gum in her face and
hair. That was exactly what Jonathan did. He later claimed that it was an
accident, but nobody but the "Four Musketeers" (T.C. E.W. L.Y. J.L.)
believed him. John's punishment for his "carelessness" of chewing gum
and spitting it on the principal's face and hair was to suspend Jonathan from
school for four days. After John came back, he again spit gum in Mrs. Argill's
face. Mrs. Argill sent John to the principal. While Jonathan was walking into
the principal's office, he tripped on a wire which was connected to a very
expensive data-storing & copying machine. That very costly machine fell to
the floor in a crash that sounded like a bandit breaking glass, and attracted
Mrs. Marchinsoda's attention. When Mrs. Marchinsoda looked up, Jonathan tripped
again, but this time backwards by stepping on a blue blob of chewing gum. The
gum stuck to his shoe, and his shoe plunged from John's feet. The shoe swayed in
midair, and before Jonathan could say "Oops," the shoe lunged right in
Mrs. Marchinsoda's face. In other words, the shoe with the gum on the bottom
struck Mrs. Marchinsoda's face, and stuck there - that blob of chewing gum
holding up the stinky shoe to Mrs. Marchinsoda's face. "Ouch," winced
the principal. Instead of suspending John for another week or so, Mrs.
Marchinsoda got so mad at him for doing this "on purpose" (Both times
were truly mishaps) that she called the local county courthouse and sent
Jonathan on court for a trial between the school principal and the gum obsessed
kid. Jonathan's parents offered $2,000 to dismiss the trial, but the principal
offered $4,000 to have the trial and not let John's parents get their
way. Of course, the person who offers more dough gets their way. Jonathan,
however, had another opinion. He chose not to take his parent's advice for not
bringing gum to court and to not be impolite. So, Jonathan took thirteen packs
of Bubblicious Strawberry flavored gum to court with him. As the gum in John's
mouth started to lose flavor, the judge yelled at Jonathan for not answering his
questions. Jonathan thought the judge would be a fun target for spitting gum at,
so that was exactly what he did. He had improved his gum-spitting skills by
doing it everyday to his younger sister in 5th grade, 11 years old, named
Elaine. Elaine got so mad once that she banged a tin pot on John's head, but
instead of killing Elaine, Jonathan just burst out in absolutely hysterical
laughter. Elaine never again did that, for she was afraid that her hysterical
brother would do something horrible to her next time. Elaine knew that 7th
graders were famous for doing "horrible" things to younger kids, not
meaning drugs, but stuff in your lunch. Kids who easily got freaked out usually
fainted or cried out loud in front of the whole grade, or just threw the lunch
away and asked to go to the bathroom. They never came back to school.