Thursday, February 28, 2013

Agreeable Nonsense

It's still February. For some this may be a simple fact, or it may be something which requires a more complex strategy of coming-to-grips. So I offer you this, a rhetorical tic that has become my only answer to so much, as daily life begins to resemble nothing so much as the deep and merciless but also inconsequential slush piles which are my constant companion.

Throw yourself into the sea. Have you considered it? When life on land can do nothing but disappoint, demand a constant shaking up of expectations, consider the freshness of a new medium of living. You may die, yes, but you may die if you persist on land. You may yet live, if you begin with the sea.

And it has to be the sea. The sea is better than the ocean because it is more susceptible to myth. With so many stories that begin with someone throwing themselves into the sea, the end involves some sort of productive interaction with an exotic fish whose attributes remain partially mysterious throughout. It is also less accessible to most of my readers, therefore making the journey required to reach it more worthwhile. By the time you reach the sea, you'll most likely have a comprehensive understanding of the stress that led you to consider throwing yourself into it. It may also be warmer in there.

This is what I am actually talking about.

But if you decide to take my advice, please walk, or bicycle, or take a boat to the sea. Nothing more efficient than a train, please. This isn't the Internet. This is real life.