Male Birth Control Available by 2017

Good news, you guys. Well, sort of. By 2017, there will apparently be a way for us men to let the girls take a breather on the birth control. That’s right. No more pill (if you’re the gambling type).

Vasalgel, a non-profit organization, successfully did trials of their male birth control on a good ole’ pack of baboons. Yes, the monkey— not a pack of horny douchef*cks at a college party.

The drug is currently going through it’s random clinical trials (human testing portion of drug approval process) in India. Classic ‘Merica— now we’re even outsourcing our drug testing. Fear not though. We’ll have it in a little longer than a year.

There aren’t any sources I see that are giving us any of the deets on how often guys will have to get a new dose of this stuff. From the sounds of it, it might be a thing that’s permanent until you want to get it reversed.

Now, how is this procedure done? Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife,’ hide yo’ balls— ‘cause they’re poking needles in everything out here. Yeah, do you like needles in your ballsack? If so, this male birth control thing will be right up your alley. There are these things called vas deferens you probably heard about in high school biology. They’re in your package. That’s where they’re supposed to be. Not taken out. Well, this procedure requires that the doctor stabs your sack with a needle and pulls them out a little bit. Then he injects them with some “cheesy-like liquid.” Barf.

So if you don’t mind getting needles stuck into your balls, go right ahead.

Oh, and ladies— be careful for when a guy says he’s on the birth control. We can be lying sons of bitches.