Manfred couldn't believe his luck. He was to appear on TV as a contestant on a quiz show.
He prepared for weeks only to be eliminated in the second round: he could not remember the name of the minister for postal services during the Bismarck administration.

The fact that Manfred was a postman ensured that his friends made fun of him for months.

71. Since her husband's death nearly eight months prior, the elderly widow had had little human contact.

As a result, she frequently anthropomorphized her small mongrel dog Hans, attributing human motivations to his actions, and from time to time, dressing him in clothing that served no functional purpose.

72.
Dieter: Why is it that socially regressive American neoconservatives are incapable of producing effective comic material?
Gerda: This is because they are unintelligent and lack the insight to make humorous observations.
Dieter: But other like-minded people frequently claim to find the material humorous.
Gerda: I believe this is an affectation.

75. On an internet-based discussion forum, a contest was announced by an Administrator, and the rules for participation were clearly specified. An American participant of the forum, putatively speaking under an assumed name, submitted an entry that grossly violated the stated rules.

Rather than being banished from the forum, he was awarded with half the allotted points for his illegal participation.

76. Making casual small talk with Bernhard, a visitor who was waiting for another member of her household, Adelheid inquired as to whether the Category 5E cable she had supplied him with recently had been sufficient for his needs.

Bernhard protested that Adelheid had not provided him with any cable, and that further, he was not familiar with the type of cable to which she referred and did not know what the purpose of such cable would be.

Alarmed by this revelation, Adelheid silently recalled the events in greater detail and realized that in her recollection of the event, she had retrieved the cable from a drawer that was reserved for the storage of paper electronics manuals and a flashlight!

Adelheid was unable to fall asleep until nearly one half hour past her normal time, for fear that such grotesque visions would haunt her again.

75. On an internet-based discussion forum, a contest was announced by an Administrator, and the rules for participation were clearly specified. An American participant of the forum, putatively speaking under an assumed name, submitted an entry that grossly violated the stated rules.

Rather than being banished from the forum, he was awarded with half the allotted points for his illegal participation.

__________________
"...because everyone is ugly as sin, when you rip away their skin."

77. (Based on true story that just happened Tuesday) Hilda was visiting Meteor Crater, Arizona. Hilda, gazed through a fixed aim telescope on viewing platform below crater rim, saw the 1.83 meter tall plywood cutout painted to look like an astronaut leaning on fence in bottom of crater, and asked question of nearby American traveler, who stopped for a few minutes to see the wondrous sight of the 50,000 year old astronomical event. "Did astronauts have something to do with this [crater]?" "No," responded the now quite amused American. "No? Why then did they use an astronaut?"

__________________Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields

78. A German man was visiting friends in America and it happened to be Halloween. He was unfamiliar with the custom of Trick-or-Treat, and had to have it explained to him that the children say "Trick or Treat" and they get candy. Incredulous (and slightly disappointed), the man said, "That's all? They don't have to do anything like a song or a dance?" His American hosts laughed softly and confirmed that, yes, that is all.

79. A young man with an inclination toward radical politics and an impressive knowledge of old radical songs, such as those in the IWW's Little Red Songbook, was watching television one evening during the Christmas season last year. A commercial came on which featured a familiar theme with rewritten lyrics. The young man thought it remarkable that an advertising agency would use the theme to "The Red Flag" as the basis for this corporate jingle, but then he realized that "The Red Flag" itself was based on an older Christmas carol named "O Tannenbaum".

81. Hedwig presented Freyda with a set of decorative candles as a gift, despite the fact that Freyda's home was equipped with both adequate and efficient electrical lighting, and functioning battery powered flashlights for use in the event of an outage.

84. Heinrich went to visit an old and distant friend, Adelbert, who had taken up farming in Damme, in the years since they had last visited. While being shown around the farmstead, Heinrich noted a pig following them, and that the pig had a prosthetic leg.

"Adelbert," said Heinrich, "it is unseemly and impolite to bring attention to the infirmities of others, but my curiosity has quite overwhelmed me." Blushing in shame, Heinrich continued. "This pig appears to have a prosthetic leg, and I must know of the reasons why."

Adelbert was embarrassed by his friend's outburst. After composing himself, he related the pig's heroic and loyal exploits on the farm, some of which had amazingly resulted in the saving of the lives of his family as well as his his own.

Heinrich was astounded, but affirmed that Adelbert had not explained the reason why the pig had a prosthetic leg.

"I set a firm quota for pig flesh last year, and that leg was needed to meet the quota," Adelbert explained.

Heinrich nodded with understanding, and then he and Adelbert had rather selfish and somewhat mechanical sexual relations in the well-organized barn.

88. Reinhold, on witnessing a particularly offensive characterization of his countrymen on an internet-based discussion forum, mentally recounted some of the many impressive achievements originating from his homeland, including unparalleled innovations in the fields of cannibalism, self-restraint, and creative paraphilia.

Deciding that the criticisms did not warrant such a detailed response, however, he replied in a curt and abbreviated fashion to convey his distaste.