I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share my writing at The Glorious Table. Last week, I wrote a bit more about my story, about finding grace, forgiveness, and freedom.

Seven years ago I spent a weekend alone with God, and I’ve never been the same.

At the time, I felt as though I were drowning. My addiction to pornography had been ruling my life for nearly fifteen years. While there had been glimmers of light and hope at various times, I always found myself back in the prison of my choices, bound up in shame and guilt. The cycle always seemed to be pulling me downward, relentless in its desire to consume me.

Ready to give up, to stop fighting, I used the last of my strength to throw my hands out in hopes of finding something to cling to that might keep me from drowning. I thought maybe getting away from everything would help. I found a couple who rented part of their farmhouse out as a retreat center. I went with no plan, no expectations, but with the hope God might be willing to meet with me.

I spent hours in worship. Alone in a room with God, I didn’t have to worry about what others might think of me. Sometimes I sang. Sometimes I just listened. I stood, knelt, and lay on my face. I wept, laughed, and even danced. I experienced God’s presence and love in a new way. He showed me he was not only willing but desperately wanted to meet with me.