Thursday, December 30, 2010

Hopefully this post will not sound cheesy as it could be.
Hopefully...

This morning I took my (hopefully) last state exam to become the teacher I want to be.
Last week, I got the last required one and this week's test was an added certification to teach middle school science. [I passed both of them.]
On the ride over to the testing center, I heard the famous country song "Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.
It is played a lot on country stations and at weddings.
When I met Roger, I thought about how it applied to us.
But that is not what this is about.
Not at all. A bit more abstract actually.

My new year's resolution is to love me.
To love my body. To love what I am. To love my life.
As this song played I thought about the broken road of my life that has brought me this far.
I listened closely to the lyrics and thought about not how they applied to a relationship with another person, but instead, how they apply to the new me that is here now.
How I lost myself a few times in my life by giving up who I am to the latest boyfriend or trend or friends.
How all the things, bad and good, brought me to this place right now.
How becoming a teacher should have been so obvious but I had to go through all sorts of things and broken hearts and broken dreams to figure it all out.
But I figured out who I am.
I figured out what makes me happy and discovered more of my talents like photography.
Now I just need to love me.
The real me.
The me I have found and love her with everything I am.

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About Me

I am a young widow but that isn't all I am. I am a photographer, teacher, cat owner, traveler, remarried widow, and many more things to come. This blog is about the discovery of widow-ness, what that means, and all the adventures post loss. I was married to my best friend and lost him on August 28, 2008 after only six months of marriage.
I am starting to piece together my life with the continuous support of my friends and the infamous Mr. X to figure out who I am without letting widowhood define me.
http://rogerandstar.googlepages.com/ourstory