A rose is a rose is a rose – but never will a rose grow out of one of your body orifices. Yet all the time we make believe: Bodily odors are among the most embarrassing facts of life. Those odors jump into your face unbidden, exposing the thin veneer that shields our modern identify – clean, well-shaven, sweet-smelling - from acknowledging our ancient, animalic bodies.

These are the most bothersome malodorous areas and orifices of our bodies: mouth, vagina, anus, feet, and modern science and salesmanship have figured ways to sell us products for smelling better – preferably like roses, lilies-of-the-valley, violets – soaps, deodorants,

They all have two things in common: They don’t address the root causes of stench, and they add to the pollution burden on your body.

Now is probably too late to tell you because all the scented soaps, incense, perfumes, colognes, after-shave lotions, shower gels, wrinkle creams, bubble baths and whatnot have already been bought – either for you, or by you.

Truth is there is no cosmetic product available that is good for us – not even the natural or organic varieties. They all require stabilizers and preservatives for their long shelf life – and none of those further your health. If mold doesn’t touch it, your cells don’t like it either. Oh, well – you remember this next year.

Let’s go to the root cause of odor:
• Underarm: If you need a deodorant, buy a fragrance free product. I like the tea tree oil kind. Check if you really need to use it every day. As you eliminate root causes (see: feet), your smell might get better naturally - don’t be obsessive about it.
• Vagina: We had this subject already: NO DOUCHES!!
• Halitosis: If you have an odor from your mouth (you can test it by cupping your hands over your mouth and exhale into them), it can stem form your teeth, gums, esophagus (feeding tube), lungs and/or stomach. Most often the culprit is the stomach. Eating a diet without sugar and dairy is a good beginning. Many people have a gluten people. And tomatoes are at the root often, too. Try to figure it out.
• Gas (coming out of that unmentionable hole): Excessive gas is linked to an inflamed intestinal tract. Dairy, sugar, gluten are most often the root cause (on this blog, I have written extensively about food allergies, milk’s inflammatory properties, gluten intolerance and so on).
• Feet: If you have excessive sweating of your feet (sometimes also of your hands), it can be your autonomic nerve system – doctors like this diagnosis. But more often, poor nutrition is at the root of smelly feet. Especially bad fats and animal proteins.

Here I want to lay to rest once and for all the discussion about vegetarianism: If you smell excessively at your feet and under your arms, you are having too much animal and/or bad foods for your body type, period. Science makes clear that we are omnivores, we eat all and everything – mostly because during history we didn’t have the luxury to be choosy; starvation was always near. But the amount you eat should not be unduly high, and should cover your needs – every body has different requirements. The animals you eat should be of good quality (organic, grass-fed). And don’t forget to say a prayer for every animal that has died for you.

We all have met those male types who have smelly feet and holes in their socks – so needy for a caring wife that likely they’ll never find one. Because, genetically, we are hard-wired to choose a healthy mate, and somebody who eats day-in, day-out from the convenient store around the corner and doesn’t care for his body, shows all the alarm flags of a poor mate. (Of course, this is gender-neutral – it applies to women, too).

A few more hints:
• If you take a daily shower and don’t have a blue-collar job, don’t use soap – how dirty can you get at the computer in a single day? Every wash takes away from the healthy acidic layer on your skin that protects your body from invading germs. – Always end with a cold shower to close the pores (unless you have a contraindication).
• Don’t use soap at all. When you wash you hair, use an inexpensive shampoo and RINSE EXTREMELY WELL.
• Never wash your hair twice in a row – that’s a ruse by the industry to sell more shampoo.
• Use a fragrance-free detergent for your laundry.
• NEVER use a softener – liquid or one of those scented towelettes. They pollute the environment and your body and have no value at all. Who says that a towel has to be soft? Try toweling yourself with a hard towel – and discover how the scrubbing makes your body come alive.
• Question any household product (dish washing liquid, etc.) that comes with an added fragrance. One of the reason we see so many allergies and asthma, is that our bodies desperately are busy getting rid of all those unwarranted scents.

Get used to the idea that we are odorous animals. If we eat right, we will not be stinky. But never will we smell like violets.

Even so, our healthy smell is full of pheromones that will drive the other sex wild.