What's the right thing to do? Trigger

So tonight we we're at a party at sils and I walk in on an 11 yr old boy tickling a 3 yr old girl on the top bunk of a bed. I walked passed the room twice and both times the action stopped which is what alarmed me. Why does he feel the need to stop when an adult walks by. So I go in and break it up and tell sil. Sil checks it out and finds the two of them now under the covers on the top bunk with him tickling her. She breaks it up and tells them to stay out of the bed. She talks to a third party who knows the boys family well and happens to be the uncle of the little girl and they decide not to tell the mom! Do first wwyd? I feel like shit should I have told her anyway? They also decide not to mention it to the boys mom. 2nd Wwyd? I think she would have gone crazy on me. Then DD (dear daughter) tells me he tickled her and her cousin, sils DD, and didn't stop when they said and she felt uncomfortable, scared and vunerable. I text sil to let her know because she didn't answer a call. I don't think he actually did anything wrong just maybe knows he's not to be tickling little girls or maybe he was working his way into it and got caught. I like the first thought better of course. However, the ils seem very lax to me. Even my dh (dear husband) thinks I'm overreacting about not trusting the ils. There track record sucks; driving DD (dear daughter) with no car seat, letting baby play in room with 3 and 6yr old up stars alone, not concerned a guest gave DD (dear daughter) and dns a ride in his convertible without asking or even letting us know!!! Of course I will no longer let DD (dear daughter) go there without me but dh (dear husband) thinks im aking mountains out of molehils. What do I do ? How do i combat this Idiocracy? I'm not over reacting right? Def gonna take it up with the counselor but damn an HR goes by fast!

You are right, it is at best a situation that could get the boy accused of molesting or assaulting someone in the future, even if he didn’t mean to do more than tickle. I am also a realist. I worked last school year in an elementary school, and quite honestly these kids are so much more sexual in their interactions with their peers at that age than most any of the adults my age were at their age.

As such, the boy’s parents and the girl’s parents should have been made aware of the situation. It was in the very least inappropriate, and the boy needs to be told to not do that, and at the worst he was grooming her for his own purposes.

I worked with 10 year olds, and I could tell they knew way more than they should. They were already dating each other. Even 11 year-olds were starting and spreading rumors of a sexual nature. I asked these kids where they learned all this stuff and they said, TV, YouTube, older siblings/cousins.

Better safe than sorry, but approach the topic innocently and just state it as an observation, just so they can ask their children about it.

Your own child told you how the tickling made her feel. She told him to stop and he refused. He was absolutely doing something wrong. Let the parents know and we'll all pray that they respond appropriately. I would want to know if my kid had a fetish tickling much younger children whenever there are no adults present.

***TRIGGER***

I can't even tell you how many stories of sexual abuse I have heard that started with tickling. Including my own. I was 4, my first abuser was 11 or 12.

Do you know the parents? Do you have a way of contacting them? If so, you need to tell them and tell them what your daughter told you. Does SIL (sister-in-law) know he was doing it to her daughter as well and that he was told to stop, but didn’t?!

Stuff like this scares the crap out of me. My brother’s ex has a son who is still around a lot. There’s a similar age gap between him and my daughter. My daughter loves having a friend to play with and likes following him and his younger brother around. I’ve occasionally seen him stroking her hair, which seems completely innocent, (she has very curly hair), but something about it made me feel REALLY uncomfortable... i just told him to leave her hair alone because I don’t want it to get messy and he stopped, but I’m totally paranoid now and watch him like a hawk. I’d be furious if he was tickling her in bed and no one told me about it!!!

His little brother is a weirdo too and I always have my eye on him because I wouldn’t put it past him hurting my daughter when no ones looking.

This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. Please review the Terms of Use before using this site. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use.

This site is published by BabyCenter, L.L.C., which is responsible for its contents as further described and qualified in the Terms of Use.

You are passing a message to a BabyCenter staff member.
For the fastest help on community guidelines violations, please click 'Report this' on the item you wish the staff to review.
For general help please read our Help section or contact us.