Departing From Stoicism: Allowing Ourselves To Feel

Pain is arguably among the most universal sources of faithlessness. Many blame God for their pain and deny His existence because they refuse to accept the concept of a God who allows suffering. Many people attempt to hide their response to pain with stoicism. Some are convinced they have “overcome” pain with a numbness of heart, but that is disillusionment; their attitude towards pain actually weakens their ability to handle the rest of their life adequately. Consequently, the stoic does not overcome pain, but is submersed in its misery.

When I notice the stoic, I understand their apathetic countenance. The numbness of heart may seem like an appropriate response as its verisimilitude is that it gives us inner strength. However, in actuality, numbness is only the mirage of strength. What really hides behind its facade is the inner pendulum swinging between bitterness and resentment.

INDEPENDENT STOICISM

Many people give off the impression they are capable of enduring everything independently. The catch is that they’re not one-hundred percent invested in the role they’re portraying. They are tenacious in pretending to endure, but they leave their truest feelings, their vulnerability, at the front door. Emotions enter inside the gate of self-imprisonment, walking on pins and needles with clenched fists and gritted teeth, scream into a pillow, and walk back out just to repeat the pattern.

NUMBNESS IS NOT A STRENGTH

Humans are designed to feel, just as we are designed to have desires. When we pretend we don’t have feelings, that doesn’t make them disappear. Pretending makes our truest feelings more difficult to manage and work through by the way we mishandle them.

If you aren’t a follower of Jesus, you will receive no judgment from me. If you’re open and willing, take a step forward to surrendering your stoicism to Jesus, asking Him to meet you where you are. If you’re uneasy about the idea of praying, just say a simple, “Jesus, show me who you truly are.” If you seek Him, He will come to you.

LETTING JESUS INTERVENE

Feeling numb is not uncommon for people who have experienced heavy trauma. When we live long enough without an explanation for our pain, our hearts become closed and more difficult to soften because the constant jabs of life causes spiritual bruising. Sometimes we feel battered to the point of no return. But the Bible states Jesus will never give us anything we cannot handle (1 Corinthians 10: 12-13). Ask Him to intervene, surrender to Him in Jesus name, and watch His power come into fruition with your reality.

My hope for you is that you will come to understand the reason stoicism isn’t a healthy way to live. His love for us is unending, and I imagine you would rather feel your heart overflowing with the unconditional love of God rather than a numbness of heart, which often times feels like we’re laying on our deathbed. Numbness of heart is a tragedy, and we all have so much to offer.

TIME TO COME ALIVE

May these words reach you and inspire you to feel again. Remember, you are loved beyond words. Don’t just take it from me, though—talk to Jesus, Himself. It would be beneficial if you did not pray to Him as if believing He’s trillions of miles away on a throne. He’s right here beside you, listening ever so intently to every word you say, and every thought you think. Stoicism builds chains to trap our heart in numbness, but feeling His love fills in the space between numbness and self-doubt, exposing the mirage of strength for what it truly is—a mirage—and fulfilling our deepest desire to feel accounted for; to feel like we matter.

Jesus never takes His eyes off of us. We are precious in His sight! Remember you are loved. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:38-39)

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What a mind opening post! This really helped me. i’ve been struggling a lot lately with my mental health and this is just what I needed! ” Feeling numb is not uncommon for people who have experienced heavy trauma” you hit my feelings/situation spot on! I’ve been numb to feelings and people lately and this post really helped.

Thank you so much for your comment, Emily. I’m so glad this helped you!
If you’re comfortable with it, feel free to fill out a contact form on my blog and let me know if there is anything I can pray for you about. God bless you, Emily!