Thursday, July 15, 2010

I get you

That's what James Cameron meant in his clumsy over sentimental Avatar way- "I see you" What he meant was "I get you, I understand you, I'm looking into you and I see who you are."
That's really quite a priceless thing.
Recently I had someone tell me "I like you." Very simply- and the fact that I had spent so much time and energy trying to explain myself to someone else who just didn't understand me- it made that moment even sweeter.
That is why I married my husband. He got me. I get him. A lot of people know who I am, kind of know me but there are very few people who get me. I think I hate being disliked but it happens, more often because it is their definition of me that gets me lost. I think I spent so much time with my ex boyfriends in the definition of who he wanted me to be. And when he realized I was never who he pretended I was, it became easier to hate me.
The most important lesson there for me was not to try to make myself fit their definition and to see them for who they are and not my wish list. If only he would stop drinking, he'd be perfect, if only he would do this one thing, he would fit me. I saw him, I just didn't want to accept that to accept a person, to get a person, you have to take all of that person.
You don't have to like everything. Certainly we never will like everything about our friends or partners- but we should look in there and get them. Get that essence of what makes that person uniquely him or her.
I have this fatal flaw of concentrating on trying to get people to get me and not being grateful to those that already do. But when I had that simple moment of "I like you."- it clarified a lot for me.
So- here I am being very open and very grateful. And not getting lost in someone else's definition.