I am a girl, in a relationship with a girl. I am currently 21, and I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little more than three months now.

Although I’ve always been interested in both men and women, my mom never knew or got the hint and thought I am straight. She never even had a clue. But I met my girlfriend and fell in love with her and honestly could see my future with her for a long time. It was always stressful though because I felt terrible for my mom not knowing.

My mom found out about a month ago. I guess I wasn’t careful enough, and hiding it from my mom wasn’t always easy. She was in shock when she found out. Like really in shock. She screamed and told me to stop doing this.

I tried to explain that it’s not about whether she’s a girl or a guy but about what a great person she is and how she makes me happy. But of course, through all the shock it would be hard to take any of my words in. She told me to end it right now and delete her from my phone.

I’ve never felt this scared before in my life. She told me that she was afraid of this the most and kept repeating why does this have to happen in my family, with my daughter. Those words made me sad. I couldn’t fall asleep for a long time because of how scared I was. I knew I broke my mom’s heart and I knew if I wanted to make my mom happy then I’d have to end it. But I love my girlfriend so much that I just couldn’t. I couldn’t end it.

The next day my mom was much calmer, and she asked about this whole thing again. And then she asked me if I love her and I started crying and couldn’t answer. I wanted to say yes, but I was scared that my answer was going to give my mom another breakdown. But my crying would make her assume that I do. I guess.

I am still with my girlfriend, but my mom is assuming that I ended it with her. It has been a little over a month since that day passed, but I have a feeling that my mom might just know that I’m still with her. She never says anything, and I’ve been much more careful so she wouldn’t be suspicious, but I have a feeling she might know. I don’t know for sure.

I want to talk to my mom about it. It might be okay right now but I want to be with my girlfriend for a long, long time and I can’t just keep hiding it.

Do you think it would be a good idea to talk to her about it? What would be the best way to do it? I need advice. 🙁

The heart wants what it wants and you cannot stop the wheels of destiny. Sometimes the sad truth is, family (blood relatives) can be overrated.

Some family members tend to be extremely closed-minded and expect their relatives to live in the same pinched world they live in.

Be honest with yourself and honest with your mom, because life is too short. Have you asked yourself why your mom has not considered your happiness? Shouldn’t she want her child to have a joy-filled heart and life?

Acceptance is the key to happiness and believe me if you throw your own heart’s longings aside for what and who your mom thinks you should be, you are not going down the road to living an authentic life.

In this world, no matter what you say or do, half the people will think you are wrong, and the other half will think you are right! Live your life with love of self and others. Frankly, your mom is not demonstrating true love towards you.

You can try to have a conversation with your mom and tell her what is in your heart. If she is as closed-minded as she sounds, this may not be an easy task. Still, be gentle with your mom and talk to her calmly. Do not cry or yell, be centered and explain that you love this person’s soul.

Remember, this is a shock for your mom. Take things one day at a time but under no circumstances should you be untrue to you.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I am now almost 30 years old, but I fell in love with a girl in college.

It was a big shock to me because I have never been interested in girls before or since then. But there was a lot of synchronization around the event. It was the best and worst time of my life and I have never again felt a connection like that to anyone.

My parents said I was being selfish and that they didn’t care if it was someone else, just not their daughter.

I didn’t end the relationship with my girlfriend but became very depressed and she eventually broke up with me.

Now I am married to a man and have a child and am happy. My parents now say that they should not have interfered with that relationship and that they were wrong. In my opinion, it’s easy for them to say that now when there is no threat of their fear being realized.

My advice is to enjoy the time you have with your girlfriend. It may take 10 years but your parents will eventually get over it.

Amen. That response is eloquent. Yes be true to your heart and honest with your mom. If you feel like your mom suspects then she probably does.

Do ask her if she wants you to be happy and tell her what you’ve found happiness in. Give her time. She probably had other dreams and plans for you. But there are still ways to fulfill those dreams. And family isn’t always relatives or blood, it’s the people who want you in their lives.

My older sister is gay. We grew up in a small southern town and I mean small. And we are Catholic. I agree with both of the above comments. The heart wants what it wants.

And you are still young. You may be bi-sexual. You are also 21 years old and from my point of my view you aren’t hurting anyone but yourself.

Your mother was and probably is in shock. If you had only dated men then you can imagine she would be surprised.

I don’t agree with hiding your relationship. I believe that will only lead to more confusion. I think a talk is needed. There is definitely a white elephant in the room. You obviously love your mother very much and are willing to lie to protect her. Yet that will only hurt you both in the end.