Because I was that girl, sobbing in the mirror because I thought I was fat and my jeans, which looked cute in the store, didn’t quite fit right once I got home. Where did this weight come from and why won’t it go away, no matter how much I exercise?! I wanted desperately to be loved (by ALL the men), but I didn’t even love myself. With every new year came a new ‘commitment ’to lose 5 lbs (or ‘lean out’ or get fit), but my body rarely changed. I thought if only I could low-carb harder, commit more, not give into my cravings, just not eat carbs, sugar, chocolate, etc, THEN I could lose the weight, and THAT would finally make me happy. It would make me worthy… Worthy of love, praise, acceptance.

But the truth is, I was stuck in this HAVE – DO – BE cycle. I kept waiting to ‘HAVE’ the thing before I could BE the person. And when I was honest with myself, that’s what I wanted anyways – to be sexy, attractive, generous, confident, proud, successful. I just thought that in order to get there, I had to change something (or several things) about myself first.

I didn’t know how to love my body, especially when I wanted to change it. I didn’t know how to stop the negative self-talk, or not be so self-conscious, or to ask for what I wanted.

My worthiness was wrapped up in how I looked, how much money I made, how fast I could run, and other such accomplishments. I was constantly in competition with other women and myself – life was a zero sum game and I sure as hell wasn’t going to lose – but striving for perfection and never being good enough? That sh*t’s f*cking exhausting.

The reality is that I didn’t love the person I was BEING when I was striving for body ‘perfection’ and obsessed with food and exercise.

On the outside, I looked dedicated, committed. People envied me, but they didn’t see the real me. The scared little girl inside who was calling all the shots, making decisions, not out of dedication or a love of ‘being healthy’ (which was my fave excuse at the time), but because I was terrified of gaining more weight, gaining the weight back, not losing any weight at all… which meant I was destined to be alone, hating my body, jealous of all the skinny girls, never being good enough.

But you know what I realized?

The antidote wasn’t simply losing weight. It wasn’t having a flat stomach or looking great naked or fitting into clothes from years ago (although those things did come)…

It was learning how to BE the woman I wanted to be. Being confident, sexy, playful, loving, lovable, generous, fun. After all, that’s what I really wanted anyways. I wanted to lose weight, so that I could be happy, confident, attractive. I wanted more money so that I could be generous, adventurous and fun.

When I stopped focusing so much on needing to ‘have’ a specific thing first, I learned how to get what I truly wanted.

And the funniest thing of all?

I learned how to love myself, my body, and my value, not because of how I looked, how much money I made or how fast I could run, but because of the woman I AM.

Not feeling in control around food, weight, or body shape is enough to drive any girl into the arms of her favorite oversized sweats and pint of low-carb ice cream. It’s safer there, hiding in the darkness with tear-soaked popcorn, than under the meticulous scrutiny of your partner’s eye.

So you resolve to paleo-harder, restrict more, that ass ain’t going to stop jiggling on its own – better punish yourself in the gym first thing in the morning – and don’t forget to constantly shame yourself for not having more willpower to just not eat that.

This obsession with food and achieving the *perfect* body created your own personal Hell, where you go to WAR with food every single f*cking day.

But our struggle with food is never about the food;

it’s about hating our bodies.

It’s thinking that once you lose the weight, THEN you’ll be happy, THEN you’ll be confident, THEN you’ll love your body, THEN you’ll be loved, accepted, adored.

But oh sweet heavens, it’s EXHAUSTING constantly dieting, trying to be perfect, and NEVER being good enough.

So I’m done. I’m done with diets. I’m done hating my body. I’m done being at war with food. I’m ready to create the Body I Crave, and I’m going to do it on my own terms.

Now, I can’t possibly cover everything in this quick-start guide, but my goal is simply to help you start. And when you’re ready to hit the finish line, and looking for my personal help, schedule a free BYC Breakthrough Call.

Until then, check out the video below for more on how to Have Your Cake & Eat It Too.

One of the biggest questions I get is, “What should I eat to lose weight?” or “What should I eat to lose belly fat?”

Occasionally I get questions like, “How do I increase my willpower?” or “How do I resist cravings?”

But let’s go back to that first question about WHAT to eat…

and let me ask YOU a question: “How’s that been working out for you?”

How many times have you asked that question before? How many of us know roughly what to eat more of / what to eat less of? How many of us know that Doritos don’t count as ‘healthy carbs’ and butter-soaked popcorn doesn’t count as ‘healthy fat?’

And yet here we are asking that same damn question.

We’re on this quest for the holy grail of weight loss; we’re looking for some magic bullet, or ancient Mayan ‘secret’ that’s going to solve all our problems. (And do it in just 8 weeks!)

But the truth is, we have to dump all the bullshit and misinformation we believe about weight loss first, before we can start changing habits (and make them stick).

Keep watching to learn MY not-so-secret approach to getting the Body You Crave, without sacrificing a life you love.

And when you’re ready, here’s how I can help you uncover the #1 problem keeping you stuck and in this constant cycle of diet-doom. And the best part is, I’ll do it for free. Get the details here.

]]>http://jillianlama.com/what-to-eat-to-lose-weight/feed/0How to End the War on Foodhttp://jillianlama.com/how-to-end-the-war-on-food/
http://jillianlama.com/how-to-end-the-war-on-food/#respondSat, 10 Feb 2018 20:06:26 +0000http://jillianlama.com/?p=1600

Have you noticed there’s this War on Food?

It started off as a ‘war on fat,’ then a ‘war on carbs,’ then a war on sugar,’ then a war on just about everything else out there… gluten, dairy, gmo’s, meat, until we’re at war with all the foods, all the time.

Food is enemy #1 and we gladly demonize it in the hopes of losing weight, getting fit, or leaning out, without realizing how destructive this can be to our entire psyche.

We start moralizing food as either ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ which inevitably leads to moralizing ourselves based on what we eat.

“I was so bad this weekend, I had several… [cookies, glasses of wine, pieces of pizza, etc]”

You see, guilt quickly turns to shame and harsh criticism, and while we may not say it out loud, sounds an awful lot like “you worthless sack of crap, why can’t you just not eat that?!”

It’s a quick slide down the mountain of self hatred, and the problem is, it doesn’t stop there.

So how do we end this war with food and our bodies? Watch below.

And when you’re ready, here’s how I can help:Give me 45 minutes, and I’ll help you uncover the #1 problem keeping you stuck and in this constant cycle of diet-doom. And the best part is, I’ll do it for free. Get the details here.

First, I want to clarify, there’s nothing wrong with having those goals!

But, we do need to look at what’s underneath that belief and why you’ve set that goal in particular.

Because the problem is most of us think that’s what’s going to make us happy. That’s what’s going to make us feel pretty, attractive, loved, wanted and ultimately worthyenough to have what we want.

And once we HAVE it, then we can feel what it is we truly desire. But what if you didn’t have to wait? What if you truly could believe you are worth it?

Watch below.

And when you’re ready, here’s how I can help:

Give me 45 minutes, and I’ll help you uncover the #1 problem keeping you stuck and in this constant cycle of diet-doom. And the best part is, I’ll do it for free. Get the details here.

]]>http://jillianlama.com/why-weight-loss-is-never-about-the-weight/feed/0Why Getting the Body You Crave has f**k all to do with Willpowerhttp://jillianlama.com/f-willpower/
http://jillianlama.com/f-willpower/#respondThu, 01 Feb 2018 12:13:00 +0000http://jillianlama.com/?p=1594

I used to think that if you simply had enough willpower to resist the ‘bad’ foods [carbs, sugar, gluten, or whatever the media was villifying at the moment], you would *effortlessly* lose weight. That was, after all, what was holding me back, wasn’t it?

Well, the short answer is no. Willpower has nothing to do with losing weight.

The REAL problem is that we don’t have a healthy relationship to food. All foods. Yes, even your ‘guilty pleasures’ like ice cream, chocolate, wine, pasta, popcorn, etc.

We need to stop moralizing and demonizing food, stop the guilt and shame around what we eat, and start focusing on WHY we’re eating when we’re really not hungry. WHY we’re choosing to eat the foods we eat. WHY we even want to lose weight to begin with!

If you feel like you can’t have the food in your house because it’s too much of a temptation… If you can’t walk down that aisle in the grocery store because you won’t be able to contain yourself…

That’s NOT a healthy relationship to food.

Which means you WILL need a crap ton of ‘willpower’ to try to white-knuckle through it.

So if you’re tired of living like that and you’re ready to move on, ready to shift your view and mindset around food forever… then watch below.

Ever feel like you’re doing everything you think you *should be* doing, but the scale just doesn’t budge?

You’re counting calories, carbs, macros, eating lettuce for lunch, viciously exercising more and eating less, doing all the things you think you “should be” doing to lose weight… but the last 10lbs seem to have a death grip.

The good news is, losing weight and keeping it off requires none of that.

But the truth is, the “basic math” and “simple science” of 99% of all diets don’t account for our emotional dependencies on food and WHY WE EAT WHAT WE EAT in the first place. They fail to address our negative relationship to food, how we’ve trained ourselves to be “good” or “bad” based on what we eat, poor body image and our constant struggle with perfectionism and worthiness (among other things).

And at the core of all of this is, “why do you think losing weight will make you happy?”

Or rather, why are you putting off happiness, love, acceptance, or adventure UNTIL you’ve lost 10 lbs, become a size 4 or weigh less than you did in high school?

These unrealistic goals, constant criticism of your body, shame, guilt, and belief of ALL the diet lies keep you stuck in the Diet Cycle of Doom. But there’s hope!

In this two-part video series I break down the 3 core shifts you must make in order to break these negative cycles and habits. Watch below, and when you’re ready, here’s how I can help… I’ve set aside some time in the coming weeks to help you breakthrough the #1 biggest area keeping you stuck.