Dictionary

a form of government in which groups of people, commonly known as ‘political parties’, compete to offer the most inspiring false promises

eclipse

what a cockney barber does

favouritism

the arbitrary and unreasonable selection of people to treat with respect

heck

the place to which you are darned if you have no faith in Gosh

net

a set of holes tied together with string

paradox

two physicians

penny

a small metal disc given to shoppers as a token of thanks for their purchases. Once a lot of these have been collected, they are occasionally part-exchanged for other things or thrown into larger
collections run by charities working to get these worthless bits of metal out of circulation. Occasionally a slightly larger version is found, commonly known as a ‘tuppence’.

prefect

a school pupil who has been appointed to hypocritically boss about and set a bad example for other pupils

relief

what trees do in the spring

specialist

a person who knows more and more about less and less. The ultimate specialist was, of course, Henry’s Cat, who knew everything about nothing.