Time to say no

Time to put yourself first.

Sometimes we find our diary full,
and not always in a good way. People have encouraged us to take on a commitment
and we said yes. It could be that we have little choice, it is a work
commitment.

In the work
place when we are encouraged to take on an extra task, better to seek out our
assertive side.

A great approach is to say: ‘I’d love to work in that task, which of
my other tasks shall I set to one side?’ This helps your boss
to see that you don’t have an elastic diary, and something must give. Chances
are something will be passed on to someone else. Years ago I shared this
technique with a colleague who later started to work for me, and she fed back
these words to me. It worked.

In our
personal lives our friends can want us to go shopping with them or go to a
concert or play.

Maybe we already have a busy week,
or our finances are a bit stretched. We don’t have to agree to everything. They
may not know that we already have a diary of commitments or feel a bit under
the weather and need the rest day.

If it is not right for you say so;
but maybe offer something else, such as: “I’d
love to go shopping with you; this week is very busy, how about next Saturday?”

Or if the tickets are expensive say
you would prefer to do something else and arrange for a walk in the park, or
coffee, or both!

BUT
SOMETIMES THE PERSON YOU NEED TO SAY NO TO IS YOURSELF

If I talk about me … I love to say
yes, I love new experiences, and when they are multiple things on offer how do
I choose? This saw me dashing between 3 gigs last Friday – great fun but I
should have chosen just one.

This week
got me thinking. I truly am embracing my single life, and going out, a lot. Not
because I don’t want to be in on my own. I’d love a night in, but because of my
love for doing. I think I’m getting high on the dopamine rush of the new.

The more I
thought of this, the more I realised I do need more quiet time.

So, I cancelled dashing to a gig at
the other end of the county and had a quieter evening. I’m reviewing my diary
and wondering if I really need to do everything. I thought I wanted to learn
Samba drumming but I need to practice outside of the class. Is this right for
me, right now?

If I was coaching me I’d be asking
myself what is important to me – right now, and I’d answer that I need peace
and quiet and more time out in nature. So, I have my answer.

YOUR TASK

Think about your life, are you
saying yes too many times?

Is there a way you can get more of
what you do want?

And, do you know what this is?

So today, lunch with friends, then
more quiet, a walk in the park, or reading a book at home. Some quiet till out
this evening. But balanced with more time in nature on Sunday.

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Welcome, I’m Denise Taylor and I want to help you make an effective career choice and be successful in your job search. I’m a career psychologist, Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and offer a personalised and effective service to people like you.

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Welcome, I’m Denise Taylor and I want to help you make an effective career choice and be successful in your job search. I’m a career psychologist, Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and offer a personalised and effective service to people like you.