Hitting and Biting

Felicity - posted on 03/25/2009
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My almost three year old daughter has recently started hitting and biting me, and only me. I have tried time outs, and explaining to her that its not nice to hit or bite mommy or anyone else, but it doesnt seem to be having an effect. I need help! How do I get her to stop?

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Megan - posted on 03/29/2009

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When I had a problem with my kids I enrolled them taekwondo. You can go to some schools as early as 2. It teached kids self control and rewrds them for good behavior at home. Also they would eran clips for their belts that could be turned in for stars to put on their uniforms. Parents had the ability to take away clips and even belts for bad behavior my youngest had her belt taken away and had to explain to her class what she had done (she was 2.5). I never had a problem with her hitting after that. I have almost no physical hitting in my house and now my kids are getting to be too old for that. It's not for everyone but doing a martial art (as a family, my husband and I took classes too, we took till the school closed) helped my kids with agression, being able to channel it safely and proprerly, and self control. Something to think about.

I agree with the "use your words" method....sometimes children just bite because they want to see a reaction sometimes they bite because they are angry and don't know how else to express that. When babies bite it's because of teething and that can't be helped.

A mother should never bite or hit a child back.....all that teaches is violence. How do you expect a child to learn not to bite or hit by being bitten or hit. In my opinion the child only learns that a loved one has hurt them. I know every person has their own way of raising their children and unless the child is in danger I usualy say to each their own but the whole bitting back thing really makes me angry....sorry.

I never suggest a mom hit or bite a child when they're having physical aggression issues. I never understood the concept of smacking a child after they have hit you: didn't you just tell them not to do what you just did? We lead by example, not by force. I agree with Karen and Rachael about reacting to her. She needs to learn how to express her emotions and some kids get so wound up they to do it physically. Encourage her to use her words and validate her emotions "I know you're angry. It's okay to be angry. But it's not okay to bite or hit. Use your words to tell me you're angry."Good luck! :)

My son seems to start biting every time he is getting teeth. Does your daughter have all of her molers yet? I also agree with Rachael's response. The less reaction they get from you, the quicker they stop. Sometimes they are just doing it to test your patience or get a reaction from you because they are wanting attention. Ask her if she is needing more attention from you and then give it to her in a positive way.

some mothers would disagree with me but my 1 yr old was doin that and i bit her back she hasnt bitten me or anyone since....and the hitting im sry but i slap my daughters hand back but she still does it i mean i think every child goes throught that and i dont know really how to stop that...

Can you prevent it? When my child went through this phase, he would get an expression just before he would bite, so I could keep it from happening most of the time. Otherwise, I just very calmly, even in a bored way, say we don't bite/hit, and go on about my business. The less you react, the more quickly it will go away.