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It's a wise, weird and wonderfully interesting world

The Lowell Sun

Updated:
07/20/2014 06:36:52 AM EDT

By Michael Goldman

The wise: New York's Democratic U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer pointed out in a recent op-ed that "there was no moral equivalency between the official reactions of Hamas and of Israel regarding the murder of three innocent Israeli teens in Gaza and the murder of an innocent Palestinian teen in Israel."

Schumer went on: "The official Hamas spokesman called the kidnappers and killers of the three Israeli boys 'heroes,' while the official Israeli spokesman called the kidnappers of the Arab youths "terrorists and murderers."

Until this gap in thinking closes, the killing will go on and on and on.

The weird: Sarah Palin, the only person on the planet less sane than former Vice President Dick Cheney, spent the week shouting into the wind about the lack of guts on the part of House Republican leaders who have ignored her calls to impeach President Barack Obama.

Someone needs to break the news to Palin that her 15 minutes were up 20 minutes ago.

The wise: According to the New York Times, a Florida judge ruled last week that the ruling Republican Party in that state grotesquely manipulated a law meant to ensure electoral fairness and instead illegally created legislative districts (with the help of Republican political consultants and operatives) which "made a mockery" of the law.

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The best part of his ruling, however, is when he quoted George Washington warning future Americans to "beware of cunning, ambitious and unprincipled men."

Pretty smart guy, that George Washington.

The weird: In Jersey City, N.J., a group of people erected a temporary memorial in honor of the man who allegedly gunned down a police officer in cold blood the previous day.

Worse still, the wife of the alleged murderer publicly stated she wished he'd killed more than the single police officer.

The good news is the Mayor of Jersey City lashed out at the inappropriate memorial and the comments of the alleged gunman's widow, giving hope that the community was not totally populated by the insane and the bizarre.

The wise: Now that the Church of England voted to allow women priests to rise to the role of bishop within the Anglican Church, the question is whether the progressive pontiff of the Catholic Church takes the first step by allowing women to become priests.

Hey, no one said the 21st century was going to be easy.

The weird: The extraordinary sales of that piece of summer silliness titled Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. The Obamas leads this poor boy to wonder if any of his readers realize that every fact I cite in this column is vetted for accuracy by an editor.

Edward Klein's bestseller contains so many anonymous quotes that the cynical amongst us might actually conclude the author is, God forbid, making up those quotes.

Do yourself a favor: Read one of the two new Robert E. Lee biographies instead of this trash. Or, better still, buy and read the great new book by my friend and fellow Leonard Cohen devotee, Alex Beam titled American Crucifixion: The Murder of Joseph Smith and the Fate of the Mormon Church.

All three have actual footnotes and sources, which all alleged nonfiction compositions are supposed to contain.

The wise: Former U.S. Sen. Barry Goldwater, a Republican from Arizona and extreme conservative candidate for president of the United States in 1964, would be in the center-left of today's Republican party. Back then he said, "When you say 'radical right' today, I think of these moneymaking ventures by fellows like Pat Robertson and others who are trying to take the Republican Party and make a religion out of it. If that ever happens, kiss politics goodbye."

Republicans, 2014? Goodbye.

The weird: J.Crew, seller of clothes for high school and college girls, is rolling out a new size in an attempt to trick teenage girls into thinking smaller is cooler.

Meet "XXXS," which joins its much, much larger sister size "XXS" on the stores shelves.

Just joking.

No, not about the new "XXXS" size, but rather that the current "XXS" is that much larger.

Meanwhile, I doubt we'll be seeing any condom companies following the lead of J.Crew by offering similar size options for their products.

And you know I'm not joking about that.

Michael Goldman is a paid political consultant for Democratic candidates and president of Goldman Associates in Boston.

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