“Smiter of the High and Mighty”

Tag Archives: Elmlea primary school

Former local news presenter GRAHAM ‘COMPULSIVE’ PURCHES is, by most people’s reckoning, an irritating twerp who needs to shut up and learn some manners -but not for awe-struck council managers.

Purches, who was big and going places at the BBC in the “golden age” of the 70s and 80s when the corporation was a playground for paedophiles and rapists, has for years been running a truly OBNOXIOUS CAMPAIGN against er, Elmlea Primary School in snooty Stoke Bishop, which his posh £600k home happens to overlook.

Purches – whose ascent to media stardom stalled somewhat when Beeb bosses sidelined him, leading him to jump ship to HTV – made the national news in 2012 thanks to his fixation on silencing kids. The washed-up newsreader fixed a massive sign to his house in full view of Elmlea’s playground, reading: ‘Please do not allow the children to scream or shout near our home. Thank you.’

Purches has also TERRORISED staff and children at the school with a strimmer and a leaf blower, and even reported the head for attempted murder – after she drove down the street when he was walking his dog!

Enter Bristol City Council and its interim Manager NEIL TAYLOR, who recently went to visit Mr Purches to sort it all out.

And what did he do? Tell the old fool to shut up? Suggest he move, perhaps? Er, not quite. No, our intrepid Man From Shitty Hall agreed to spend £30,000 OF OUR MONEY on a six metre acoustic fence so that poor Purches wouldn’t be disturbed by vicious infants!

Does this mean that any resident bordering a school who has an issue with noise will be able to claim a £30,000 fence from the council? Or is this a special privilege reserved for posh BBC types living in Stoke Bishop?