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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Do you masturbate? Does your mate masturbate? Do the two of you masturbate together? Well, maybe you should--Masturbation Can Save Your Relationship!

For some the idea of their partner getting sexual pleasure without them involved is gross and can be seen as an act of infidelity. I agree—if you are new to the whole idea of self sexual gratification it can be a bit of a shocker when you walk in and catch your partner jerking off to a lingerie mag or porno. But, the truth is—masturbation is perfectly normal.Yes! I said normal.There is the belief that if you or your partner masturbates that you are not getting full sexual satisfaction in your relationship. This couldn’t be further from the truth! There are lots of reasons people masturbate while in relationships…

1.Their sex drive is higher than their mates

2.They are bored

3.They have extra sexual tension that needs to be released

4.They want the physical release of having an orgasm but don’t want to go through the hassle of having sex

5.Their partner is unavailable for sexual intercourse (Men often have to deal with this when their wife/girlfriend is pregnant)

Masturbation can rejuvenate your desire to be intimate with your partner. If you find that you or your mate masturbate so much that you no longer have a desire to be intimate with one another—there is a serious problem. GET HELP! Masturbation is normal when done in moderation—just like everything else in life.

The act of self gratification can help you figure out your own body and what is pleasurable to you—further assisting with making your sexual experiences as a couple greater. You guys can have a great time teaching each other and exploring.

The key to managing your relationship and masturbation is to communicatewith your partner about your sexual needs/masturbation habits and set boundaries that you are both comfortable with. There should be no “secrets” about masturbation. I mean, the two of you don’t need to talk about it over dinner with the family, BUT it is very important that you talk about it at some point.

You want to know if he/she masturbates mostly when they are single because they don’t have a serious sexual partner or if he/she is aType Cmasturbator that fantasizes and is fixed on porn and other fictional characters—this might be a problem and will definitely cause problems in the relationship as you two will soon become disconnected sexually.

When approaching the topic try not be judgmental!Be as open minded as possible, clearly share you’re sexual wants and expectations, and be willing to trying something new.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Think Like A Manwas inspired by a book written by Steve Harvey called Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man. His book served as a guide to women of all ages and races on how to better their relationships by understanding the mindset of men.

Bringing a book to the big screen can often result in a flop, but Act like a Lady Think like a Man transitioned nicely to the big screen. If you read the book, the movie may seem predictable; however Kevin Hart gives the movie some much needed energy with his comedic antics. Understanding the opposite sex and finding love was the main focus, but there were a couple of other themes that played out in a BIG way.

One of the biggest was COMPROMISE, which is something I talk about all the time when discussing relationships. The art of compromise is extremely important when it comes to building relationships and making them last.

All of the characters were forced to compromise in some way. The mama’s boy [Terrence J] finally understood that being a mama’s boy would most likely leave him single because no women in their right mind would put up with the insane relationship he had with his mother.

The high powered female CEO [Taraji P. Henson] learned that having a man with a bank account that had the same amount of zero’s was not more important than having a man [Michael Ealy] that is compassionate, attentive, and driven (in his own way). Sidebar: Word on the street is that these two have developed an off screen romance. I knew those kissing scenes were extra hot and steamy.

It was nice to see “black love” on the big screen. I think that the idea and images of black love have been missing from TV and movies since the Cosby’s or Tyler Perry movies.I was starting to think that love between black men and women no longer existed.

Although this was pegged as a “black” movie—the entire cast was not African American. Gabrielle Union was paired with a Caucasian man [Jerry Ferrara] who had been dragging his feet for years to make the transition from shacking up to the proposal and marriage. The diversity of the cast added a nice flavor to the movie, which took it from typical to interesting.

One major downside to the film was that the ending was predictable and unrealistic. The entire cast ends up “happy” and they all change their lives from good to bad in one way or another.

The player [Romany Malco] is no longer a player.

The married man [Kevin Hart]who is separated from his wife [Wendy Williams] realizes what he is missing and goes back home to work things out.

In real life it is not always that easy. You might change your life and gain deeper insight into love and the opposite sex and still end up being single for a long time or get married and then divorced—SUCH IS LIFE! I just wish they would have shown one person that didn’t get what he/she wanted and remained single. For many people this is their reality and it would have been good to see that part of the story.

For women, it is critical to clearly understand your own values and never compromise them no matter what the situation or how much you love a man/woman. One of the characters made a profound statement—He said

“once a woman is into you she will put up with anything”

This is sad, but TRUE! We have to keep our values close to us in the same manner we grasp onto things that mean nothing like our cell phones, make up, facebook, and so on.

Having values and sticking to them is what will set you apart from the rest of the basic bitches.

Overall, I would say that this movie is a MUST SEE! It imparts knowledge and wisdom without being pushy or preachy. It’s a good date movie as it will give the two of you lots to debate about afterwards.

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About Me

The One and Only...Ms. Free

Brooklyn, New York

I am a 31 year old self proclaimed BAD BITCH from Brooklyn, NY. For years, I was playing the dating/relationship game and doing all the wrong things (i.e. wearing my heart on my sleeve, doing too much too soon, letting a man dictate my happiness, and settling for much less than I deserve). Oh and don’t let me forget the biggest one of all…FAILING TO EMBRACE MY BAD BITCH. We all make these mistakes, and I mean… WE ALL DO! We(women)often try to get what we want by playing a game we hardly understand. Imagine sitting down to play a game of poker and having NO KNOWLEDGE of the game at all. The odds are stacked up against you. That’s what women do all the time(myself included). We enter into situations blindly and then wonder why it didn’t work out, sometimes blaming our exes for our failure or our daddy’s for not teaching us the ropes or being in our lives period. I am here to tell you that you do have a BAD BITCH, buried deep inside waiting to make her appearance.The purpose of this blog is to share my journey of taping into my BAD BITCH and finally finding joy and love. I hope to inspire and encourage all that read this. ~Enjoy!