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Friday, May 6, 2011

The "Switch"

I had an incredible week in Arizona. I have been thinking about it so much since we got back. It was such an eye opener to be in that room with all of those amazing women...of all walks of life! I was overwhelmed by the love and pain in the room..the healing and the fear...the faith and the doubt...it really was amazing. I felt so honored to be able to be a part of that group. You can read about our evening {HERE}.

I took some time at the beginning of the event to talk about making the "switch". As birth moms we go along after placement..we all have a different pace and perspective on how we cope, how we heal, how we accept. We are all experiencing heartache and healing at our own risk. There was a great message from Brave Girls that I wanted to share on a broken heart.

"Your heart will mend, it will. It always always will, no matter how many times it has been broken. Sometimes our hearts have to be broken to be made into something newer, stronger, and wiser. Sometimes the cracks that a broken heart makes and leaves are the very portals to the greatest light and love and learning that we will ever experience.

Having our hearts broken is a part of life. It just is. Anyone who lives and loves with all of their heart, or even with parts of their heart, is destined to experience the breaking of that heart at one time or another.

Be with those feelings. Don't rush the healing time. Let it go at its own pace and certainly don't shove those feelings into some faux hiding place, believing that what is out of sight is out of mind.

Broken hearts have a lot to say, and the more patient you are to listen, the faster your heart will heal. Listen to what your broken heart is saying about how it wants life to be in the future.

Be patient and gentle with yourself. No rushing. Rushing a broken heart is a bit unkind and impatient. You don't want to treat yourself that way!

You are so loved. You are so wise and wonderful and amazing.

You are healing right now."

There were many healing hearts in Arizona..hearts in all different stages.

It was so beautiful to see the many hearts at work.

Ok, back to the "switch". I shared a very personal story about when I made the "switch".

Let's back up for a minute and talk about what that even means. At some point there in EVERY birth mom there is a time when all of a sudden...POOF...you are a different person! You see things from a total different perspective, you are on fire and have a new found motivation. Now, there are times as a birth mom that we try to FAKE the "switch". We try and act like everything is ok and that we are over it....but in reality we are just faking it...UNLESS we have made the "switch" for real! There is an amazing sense of peace that comes over you..you are not healed and you will still have days or moments that you will struggle because what you have experienced was so intense and is a PART OF YOU...but when you make the "switch" you realize that you are going to be ok..that you are going to be able to tackle anything that comes your way..that you are finding a new motivation, you are on FIRE and you are ready to take on the world....and your doing it with new life and perspective.

Ok, back to my "switch". I living in Nashville, TN with my husband, then man friend (I call him that because he was too old to call a boyfriend). We were not in the best place...there were some events that happened (wont go into detail yet...another post for another day...arizona girls are lucky to have heard the whole story)...I was in a place for several days that forced me to look in the mirror!! I was in a place that allowed me to forget about the world around me...there were no distractions...NOTHING but soul work was going on around me. I was able to accept my responsibility, my reality and THAT acceptance was the most powerful thing that has happened to me!!!!

I left that place and everything changed..my husband and I got married, I found the spiritual peace I had been searching for, a few months later we were expecting our daughter.....and BIB was born.

There is POWER in that!!

Not everyone will experience a HUGE life changing moment when making the "switch" and it will come at totally different times for everyone and different experiences will trigger it...but it will happen...and I want you to know that BIB will be there when it does.

It was because of that experience that the Big Tough Girl Retreat was created. It gave me the understanding of the importance of getting away from the world...focusing on yourself and your pain...your realities, your hopes and fears....forcing you to accept life as it is and finding great power in that!

I am a HUGE fan of Cher!...I know, I know...but I love her..she sings an incredible song with incredible power behind the lyrics...

Feeling brokenBarely holding onBut there's just something so strongSomewhere inside meAnd I am down but I'll get up againDon't count me out just yet

I've been brought down to my kneesAnd I've been pushed way past the point of breakingBut I can take itI'll be backBack on my feetThis is far from overYou haven't seen the last of meYou haven't seen the last of me

I've been brought down to my kneesAnd I've been pushed way past the point of breakingBut I can take itI'll be backBack on my feetThis is far from overYou haven't seen the last of me

There will be no fade outThis is not the endI'm down nowBut i'll be standing tall againTimes are hard butI was built toughI'm gonna show you all what I'm made ofI've been brought down to my kneesAnd I've been pushed way past the point of breakingBut I can take itI'll be backBack on my feetThis is far from overI am far from overYou haven't seen the last of me

No noI'm not going nowhereI'm staying right hereOh noYou won't see me beggingI'm not taking my bowCan't stop meIt's not the endYou haven't seen the last of meOh noYou haven't seen the last of meYou haven't seen the last of me

I am not going anywhere.....WE are not going anywhere! We are here for you in ANY stage! We hope that we can offer some peace and comfort!..

I hope you will share your moments of making the SWITCH...it is such a powerful thing..if you are NOT there yet..don't worry..you will be..take your time...let it happen naturally!..

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