The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette

This poem is from the January 6, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from technoshaman. It also fills the "choosing a gift" square in my 12-30-14 card for the Rites of Passage fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Damask & Farce storyline of the series Polychrome Heroics.

"Hand and Heart, Hook and Yarn"

Clement

The blustery spring weather hasbrought a lot of dust indoors,and as soon as the wind settles,Mallory snags the "dusting" taskoff the household chore board.

I hadn't expected her to be so diligentabout doing her share of the housework -- or more than her fair share, even -- but that's usually one of the first thingsshe does whenever she has the energy to get up.

Earning her keep, she's said, more than once,and I'm starting to worry about what kindof background she's had to think like that.I don't believe she sees it quite the sameway as the rest of us do.

The dish is a household favoritefor carnivore nights, and I can smell its sweet, mild fragrancealready wafting out of the kitchen.

"Greek pilaf? Yay!" says Paige."Yes, I'm done with the paper.I came down to do some fibercrafting before supper."She pulls out the big wicker basketwhere she keeps her craft supplies.

"I'm amazed by all the thingsyou can do with yarn," Mallory says.

Paige smiles. "It just takes a little practice,"she says. "Listen, I know this is your first sharehouse and all, so you don't really know how to cope with everything, but you've been working so hard ... I wanted to make you something."

She holds out a tiny pair of booties,crocheted from a rainbow of colorsin bright, precise lines.

Mallory takes them with trembling hands,tracing a fingertip over the purple bows."I haven't even decided whether to raise ..." her voice trails off.

"... the little stranger?" Paige saysShe shrugs. "That's okay.It's a big decision; you should take your time. If you decide not to,well, you know all those other girlsin the baby class -- I'm sure that any of them would be thrilled with booties."

The baby class has been a mixed blessing,sometimes getting Mallory all wound upbut mostly making her less panickyas she realizes that she can learnthe parenting skills that she's missing.

"Yeah, some of them," Mallory says."A lot of the girls are choosing adoptionbut others already plan to keep theirs."She twirls the booties around, then sighs."I wish I could do things like this."

Everyone figured out pretty quick that she's pregnant, but so far she hasn't told anyone else how she got that way.

I watch Mallory's expression asPaige brings out a crochet hookalong with a hank of soft yarnvariegated in pastel shades of white, pink, yellow, and blue.

"My grandmother says that loveisn't something that just happens,"Paige explains. "It's somethingthat you make, hand and heart,hook and yarn. It doesn't evenlook like much at first, but thenone day it all comes together."

She pokes the crochet hook throughthe yarn, then lays both of themon Mallory's still-flat tummy."So if you want to love that baby,you're going to have to work at it."

"Okay," Mallory says. "I'll try."

I'm good at crafts, but I have scarcely had time for any of themsince Maisie died. "Paige, do you have another crochet hook and some yarn to spare?" I ask.

"Here," says Paige as shepasses them over to me."The particolor was on saleso I bought a bunch of it.Do you need a pattern?"

Memory flitters to the frontof my mind, Uncle Bennieguiding my hands through the steps to make the little hat.

"No thanks, I have one memorized,"I tell Paige as I loop the yarnover the hook and begin.

Paige is gentle and patientas she shows Mallory howto crochet. "This pattern hassome variations, so you canmake the cuffs short for slippersor tall for booties," Paige says.

"Okay," says Mallory."What are you working on?"

Paige picks up a lengthof soft gray with a few stripesof brighter hues "This isgoing to be a baby sweater."

"To match the booties you gave me," Mallory guesses, her sharp eyespicking out the colors that match.

"Sweater and booties, hat and slippers,"Paige says, pointing at the bit of variegated lace I've managed to make.

Mallory takes a few more stitches,then says, "I don't know how I canthank you ... I haven't got much ..."

"You pay it forward," Paige says,suddenly as serious as I've ever seen her."If somebody needs a favor you can do,or needs to learn something you can teach,then you do it for them and it balances out."

"Hands and heart," Mallory whispers.

"Hook and yarn," Paige replies,her fingers busy with the sweater."My grandmother says the worldis what we make of it, so you betterpay attention to the pattern you choose."

I haven't spent as much time with Malloryas Clement has, or even Ham, but now I'm starting to understandthe twists and turns of her.

Sometimes what matters isn't healing a wound or winning a fight.Sometimes it comes down to making a decision, choosing a gift,creating something beautiful.

"Your grandmother's a wise woman,"I say as I work the soft, warm yarnthrough the loops of my memory.

* * *

Notes:

“A crocheted piece is the lovely manifestation of a thought, expressed through hand, heart, hook, and yarn.” – Francine Toukou

>> It's interesting to see Mallory working so hard on skills the others basically take for granted. <<

Sooth. She's smart, but hasn't had a lot of opportunities, and has come through some crappy stuff. I don't have all of her background filled in yet, but I suspect that she was raised by parents who just didn't know what they were doing and maybe didn't really want her. So neglect out of ignorance or indifference, and perhaps an occasional smack, but probably not systemic abuse. Her physical twitchiness may come more from bullying.

>> I'm probably one of the few people in my generation who still makes presents for babies, <<

I've done that. Some sewing, mostly scrapbooking.

>> but there's a MUCH larger pool of crafters in Paige's generation. Which is wonderful to see. <<

indeed. and it can come from a single person - if someone typically takes handwork places, other people feel comfortable bringing some, or asking about it, and so forth. We now have a few people who take handwork to the ice-rink, and it is nice to sit and chat with someone while the kids skate (not so good on the days when I'm allowed on the ice, and I get conflicted about Which One To Do).

Felting isn't too hard if you'd like to try it. Sure, the material is often crocheted, but it's just as often woven. The big thing is once you've got the mat made, you rough it, wash it, compress it, and fluff it in order to get them all felted together in a mass to finish. Then you can cut and sew your felts together to make the form, like hats and gloves.

I've done hand sewing for babies before, but more often I give a scrapbook binder with some starter pages. If I know the family has a heritage language then I include a bilingual lullabye section -- I've done French and Spanish.

This is good. And at the local SCA Twelfth Night festival Saturday there was a lot of yarn work being done. A woman sitting next to me was crocheting, and we talked about it. Not that I can. But I might want to get back to embroidery...

• Pay it forward is a related to the gift economy.> a term? An expression?

When there's dust in the air, it's usually due to dry weather after muddy rains. So a steam-based or vaporizing humidifier can help wash that dust back out of the air, but that can cause a muggy indoors -- and dust is fine dirt, which means combined with water it makes mud. So while a humidifier can help with air quality, it can also mean having to wash the walls and floors a bit more often.

If it gets to be a big problem, Mallory may have to wear a dust-filter mask now and then, which is a good idea during cold and flu seasons anyway (spring flu, anyone?) but will also help deal with pollen and other allergens. Something pregnant women and people with breathing problems should consider (and have a box of 'em handy just in case). Also good for doing things like cleaning cat litter, which is often clay-based and can get dusty.

A dust-mask filter would be a great idea. For that matter, so would a proper air filter unit in the house, but that's more pricey. Heron will probably listen to a description of the dust incident and show up with a carton of face masks next time. They're cheap, and Terramagne has better ones than here. Mallory has more than one particulate trigger but dust is a big one for her, so this would definitely help.

Great minds think alike-- he's already seen SOMETHING is triggering her asthma, and when he realizes SHE is the one doing the dusting, he'll show up with the paper face masks. I've got issues with the local /dirt/, which is fine, black peat, as well as house dust (which is mostly not dirt, but other particulates).

So far I know that Mallory's triggers include dust, physical exertion, stress, and laughter. She is particularly vulnerable when they stack together. Oh, her use of Theatrical Voice is another trigger, which is why she's almost quit using it.

I had some long conversations with a fan who knows about asthma and that really helped develop the presentation. Mallory's asthma is not well controlled. Before she got pregnant, it was averaging several attacks a month: enough to need a rescue inhaler, but not the several times a week level of uncontrolled that can land someone in the hospital. But it's worse now, because she's breathing for two and the pregnancy is hard on her. She needs to get the asthma under control for real, not keep stretching and hoping. Otherwise she really will wind up in the emergency room, healer or no healer. Neither Heron or Clement has the kind of training to fix the worst kinds of asthma attack that can happen.

Heron is going to freak if he finds out that she's been using pepper spray as a weapon.

One thing that would really help is just surrounding Mallory with hypoallergenic stuff. Every little bit helps. I don't have the piece written about this stuff, but I have notes for an incense-triggered event, and Damask looking for hypoallergenic pillows. There's actually a gizmological filling called Daun which is better than eider, but also even more expensive, and pure eider pillows cost thousands of dollars. :/

One thing that helps our so-called hypoallergenic pillows (the cheap kind, which are frankly mostly polyfil (though I did replace their crappy fabric cover with either pillow ticking or dense twill), is to (a) double case the pillow in two all-cotton pillowcases, and (b) wash everything FAR more often than most people. Frex, we got in the habit of having four pillows for each kid, so that two would be in the wash or drying while the other two were in use, then swap. To keep on top of four people rotating pillows every day, I was doing a load of pillows and pillowcases for SOMEBODY every day of the week.

Laundry soap is VITALLY important if someone has asthma or allergies-- certain chemicals can cause reactions in non-asthmatics, and even traces of the wrong soap in the pillowcase is mayhem on an asthmatic's lungs.

SILK pillowcases are a very, very expensive option, but they act more like a dust filter, keeping the bits of fiber from the cotton pillowcase and the pillow itself contained better than anything else I've found.

>> To keep on top of four people rotating pillows every day, I was doing a load of pillows and pillowcases for SOMEBODY every day of the week. <<

Wow. But then some of what I do makes people wig out. They're not used to home science hour just to get through laundry or dinner.

My response to the whole gluten-free craze and backlash? *shrug* You don't need lab tests to see if the diet works for you. Do you feel okay on your current diet? If so, no problem. If not, try deleting things you think might be making you feel bad. If you feel better not eating wheat, yay, you found the problem! Continue not eating wheat. If you can't pin it down yourself, then think about seeing a doctor. But really if you think a food makes you sick, the obvious first step should be not eating it. This is not rocket science.

>>Laundry soap is VITALLY important if someone has asthma or allergies-- certain chemicals can cause reactions in non-asthmatics, and even traces of the wrong soap in the pillowcase is mayhem on an asthmatic's lungs. <<

Oh yeah. They are probably using either cheap regular detergent, or ordinary mild stuff if someone has sensitive skin. So just switching to a real hypoallergenic detergent would help, and that's something else Heron could suggest. I get the "free" versions, and sometimes organic when I can find it although that kind doesn't remove oils as well so I have to swap them.

>> SILK pillowcases are a very, very expensive option, but they act more like a dust filter, keeping the bits of fiber from the cotton pillowcase and the pillow itself contained better than anything else I've found. <<

Silk pillowcase over hypoallergenic fiberfill is probably what they'll settle for. Maybe some high-grade HEPA filters for the house heating/cooling system, since a real air filter is probably out of range for now.

"Soap nuts" are a real solution to laundry soap problems, though I haven't tried them personally. Some of the folks I know have tried them and love them. Apparently they last a long time, too, so lots less buying replacements.

Oh, oh, I was *hoping* there would be a pilaf recipe! I *have* to try this; the whole gang loves lamb...

Project Linus... well, of *course* it's about security blankets!

I remember once helping SJ Tucker do transfers for pillowcases for the local children's hospital... having a memorable pillow seems to make almost as much difference as the blanket. I know our little Duchess uses a largish stuffed bear (that was once bigger than she was) as a pillow...

<3 <3 <3 I really like how Mallory is coming along. A lot of times something like this can make a big mess... but she would not be the first I knew for whom this *saved* a life... in this case, with a fair bit of help from new friends....

>> Oh, oh, I was *hoping* there would be a pilaf recipe! I *have* to try this; the whole gang loves lamb... <<

Yay! :D I love pilaf too. Biryani is also excellent, a similar concept from India. A restaurant we love makes a mixed-meat biryani that is delicious. Not something I can eat more than a few bites of, but so worth it.

"My grandmother says that loveisn't something that just happens,"Paige explains. "It's somethingthat you make, hand and heart,hook and yarn. It doesn't evenlook like much at first, but thenone day it all comes together."

Codifying that to go into my Rules for Life... which would make it rule #14 and the first new one in ten years.