The Art of Cheating on your gf/wife

In all seriousness, monogamy is only beneficial for two groups of people:1) women - they have a biological incentive, since babymaking takes 9 physical months and years of nurture / time investment. a guy who disappears will not provide resources.2) beta males - to put it in a condescendingly, they're "lucky" to procure any woman.

A few obvious ones-a) make sure she's in a different social circle. different town / state is best.b) have a job with a reputation for long hours. "sweetie i have to stay late, last minute meeting."c) if she accuses on circumstantial evidence, deny deny deny any and all infidelity.

I had a similar story. Dating two doctors who went to the same undergrad, lived on the same street, but worked at different hospitals across the city.

Always use uber, never park in front of the house, always "working late", avoid grocery stores and common restaurants like the plague. Dates need to be at gala's, fancy restaurants, or places women wont venture on a day to day basis.

I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to marry a woman. There are so many downsides and no upsides, especially if you have money. People working in high finance should be smart enough to know that there are enough women that only go for the money. Even the nicest and most lovely woman in the world will not decline your money as soon as things get bad (divorce). Why waste 50% of your wealth? Money that you have worked for 100+ hours/week? Especially in IBD you basically give up your personal life and your 20s. Why risking to loose that 50% for a slut that didn't work shit her whole life?

Don't say this in a banking interview:

Which superhero would you be and why? I want to be like Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor - me.

I was always wondering how a man could be that stupid to marry a woman.

I'M NOT A SMART MAN, BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

...but seriously, my wife is awesome. We got married when neither of us had anything, and we've been very mutually supportive, so now we're more successful than we ever thought we would be. I wouldn't have achieved what I have without her, so if that's not "smart," then I guess I'm not either.

And I'm happy for you, I genuinely am. I hope you'll be saying the same thing a decade or two from now as well. However, whatever length of time you may have been together (assuming it's a while), it is definitely outside the norm. With divorce rates at 40-50% in the US and especially of far greater risk for wealthy men since they have that much more to lose, it makes no sense for a man who is ALREADY wealthy (such as an IB MD or on a clear path to getting there (VP IB trekking up to Director or MD) to get married.

I'll be straightforward here; I'd love to believe in the whole marriage for life and the romantic aspect of having one person you can absolutely trust. However, I'm realistic enough to realize this is naive thinking in at least half the cases. In case of divorce, even the nicest woman in the world will still take half your shit and leave, even if you were the guy who sacrificed decades of life building up this wealth while she stayed at home (not saying this is isn't important, but for a guy with a net worth of $6M at the 35, I doubt staying at home is worth half of that). So realistically, at best it's a coin toss as to the future of a marriage. Any idiot should realize, those are not good odds.

I hope you'll be saying the same thing a decade or two from now as well.

You and me both, man.

I'm not presenting my own personal situation as some sort of defense for the ideal picture of marriage, or to convince anyone else to get married. I think I lucked into a rare situation and I'm glad I did. The previous commenter was basically making the point that ANY man who gets married is dumb, and I think (selfishly) that's just too broad of a stroke.

There are multiple recent threads on this forum already addressing these issues.

You are flat wrong on the divorce rate. That is anecdotal, show me the study that came with that number. If you exclude those who get married under 25 and in poorer economic conditions, that rate plummets down.

This is to more than just you on this thread: your views on women are skewed and awful. In the city, you may see that cosmopolitan life more prominently, but you need to get out and actually discover what people are like. Women do not go after money, just the women you put yourself around do.

When I was getting very peeved about monogamy, my wife said she's be OK with me fucking other girls as long as she didn't see it and it was one time stuff if it meant keeping me because I'm pretty great but also a giant fuck-up and it confuses chicks and they're into that for some reason. But I saw how sad the thought made her and I couldn't do it.

Like honestly, I've fucked hotter chicks than my wife (she's still pretty hot though) and that fucks with me. But they were all fucking piece of shit idiots or crazy or whatever. My wife is mentally/emotionally perfect for me and balances my retarded ass out perfectly and is just amazing in every way. Great life partner. I can't allow my dick to fuck that up. But I'm fucking 24 and in great shape and shit, probably have high T, I just want to fuck everyone I see all the time immediately. And it's not even a fucking hotter chicks thing. I just want to fuck different ones. Tall ones, short ones, different shapes and colors and outfits and I just want to fuck everything.

It's so fucked how sex is so different for men and for women. Like, ragefucking is a thing. Honestly, I'll fuck any bitch with legs. And it would mean nothing to me. I'd wipe my dick, walk out, and go see my wife who I actually enjoy being around. But it would be a travesty to her. My one regret in life is not having even more sex pre-marriage. I don't even remember their names and most of their faces. It's just a fun fucking thing to do. But it's an emotional thing for women. And I'm a hypocrite too because the thought of someone fucking my wife disgusts me and if she cheated, I'd throw her ass out the house and never talk to her again. I'd take the car keys, cancel all her shit. Oh how a I getting to work?? Ride a dick probably. But I know she never ever would. In some dark corner in the back of my head though, I almost half way wish she does sometimes so I can be the morally superior one and still fuck other bitches again.

Being married has serious upsides though. For starters, we can have double the conventional mortgage loans. Society is set up to work best for married people. Look at all the top business people. They're all married. Whether or not they cheat is besides the point. I know that I'm not nearly slick enough to get away with it so I don't even. Being single takes a lot of time and effort. It's great to have a life partner if you're both on the same page.

That's the key though. We have exactly the same long-term goals, are on the same page about money, I am super on top of our finances as a couple and individually (her personal income:expense ratio versus mine, etc.), same values, same page on how to raise kids. Anyone who's seen my post history (especially like pre-2014) understands how fucking rare that person is.

So with a wife who is on the same page as you, you have two people moving in one direction financially instead of one with vastly reduced expenses and companionship. Yes, every man wants to fuck tons of chicks. That's all that's missing. I'm all-in on VR and sex robots at this point. Also, I got a post-nupt when I realized I'd have real money one day.

There's no right answer... life has no rules... only real laws are those of physics

"I just want to fuck everyone I see all the time immediately. And it's not even a fucking hotter chicks thing. I just want to fuck different ones. Tall ones, short ones, different shapes and colors and outfits and I just want to fuck everything."

This doesn't go away, either. At least not in the short term. You feel that way at 20; you feel that way at 30. Testosterone is a helluva hormone.

I don't even know where to begin haha.. except for feeling sorry AF for those guys who see marriage as so horrible. Having a life partner is so much better than sleeping with random chicks, no matter how hot they are. Do that sh*t while you're young and irresponsible, I know guys who are still doing it in their 40s and 50s and they're miserable, no matter what they pretend. Obviously marriage isn't always awesome, and financially it can be risky. But jesus.. I'd probably kill myself if I were as cynical and narrow-minded as some guys posting above are. Have a nice life.

I don't even know where to begin haha.. except for feeling sorry AF for those guys who see marriage as so horrible. Having a life partner is so much better than sleeping with random chicks, no matter how hot they are. Do that sh*t while you're young and irresponsible, I know guys who are still doing it in their 40s and 50s and they're miserable, no matter what they pretend. Obviously marriage isn't always awesome, and financially it can be risky. But jesus.. I'd probably kill myself if I were as cynical and narrow-minded as some guys posting above are. Have a nice life.

I cheated on my HS gf one time and I basically just gaslighted the shit out of the entire situation. I lied about that shit so hard that I had my GF thinking she was the one that banged Heather with the tight ass the night before prom. Hell, I even lied to Heather with the tight ass the morning after I banged her. We were both hammered and the next morning I get the "So, what was the deal with last night" text. I was like wow that's crazy because I don't really remember but I did NOT bang your and your tight ass last night. She tried to bring it up many times in the future and I just shot that shit down so hard I think I actually convinced her we never banged.

TL;DR, I banged Heather with the tight ass the night before prom and regret nothing. Semper Fi!!!!

Lmfao. Ops Guy does not forget. Ops Guy does not forgive. You insult Ops Guy, the Ops Guy takes your name down and pops up when you least expect him to.

You remind me of that Janitor guy from Scrubs that always fucks with the main doctor. I insult Ops Guy one time and now I feel like there are an army of slow moving, brown-suit wearing, receding hairline having, benign Back Office Ops Guys out to get me.

Edit: I have jerked off at every job I've ever worked at though. Shit is cash.

same situation as you. except i took a different approach (albeit riskier).

i still remember it vividly. she confronted me one morning and accused me of cheating with another girl (she had no physical evidence though). i didn't say anything - just gave her a distant, blank stare. one that was accusational, sad, and remote all at the same time. then walked away and ignored her for an entire week.

needless to say her friends were bothering me nonstop after with "why are u ignoring her!?" "dont be so mean!"

granted this may not work with all girls, but sometimes, we speak the loudest with silence.

i date two girls on the side (at different times) while having a long term gf, looking back it was kinda fun & got my adrenaline going but overall wasn't worth the stress/worry... was just a sign i needed to break up with main squeeze, which happened eventually

i wouldnt cheat on a spouse, wouldnt get married if i thought i would have the temptation, hence why i'm in my 30's and still haven't hitched up

To extend this topic to the overarching concept, commitment can have its benefits. Imagine your life is an income statement. The things you have committed to likely have higher margins, because you've moved past their upfront costs, and maybe even managed to create some economies of scale. That's assuming they still keep providing you with a high level of revenue and value

Completely disagree with this! My gf of over 4 years now (who is absolutely gorgeous) has been with me since my lowest point (when i was overweight and unemployed). Through her support and encouragement, managed to lose a lot of weight >80 pounds now, went from flabby to muscular, picked up an extra few inches for my **** that was hidden behind the fat, and broke 6 figures by 25, and managed to get into a Masters in Finance with a 2.5 GPA. A few years ago (before I met my current gf), most girls wouldn't even notice me. Not to sound cocky, but I get approached pretty much everywhere I go. Girls that wouldn't even give a look to me in high school and college DM me all the time trying to hang out. I owe it all to my current girl. Never has it been easier for me to cheat on my girl, but it doesn't even cross my mind.

I feel like it depends on the woman, if she adds value to your life and is everything you look for in a woman, then I feel there would be no urge to cheat.

On the other hand, if you married someone/are dating someone while you are young just because you don't want your parents to think you are social awkward and need someone to bring to social gatherings, then of course when you become older and hopefully successful in your career, you will end up resenting that troglodyte you married and will cheat with hotter women due to you not truly wanting to be with her, and due to the rock solid fact that women are attracted to money.

Get a prenup and in the wise words of Johnny Drama, if you do cheat, 'lie like a mattress'.

GOOD. I'm glad we got that out of the way.... Now I can start my diatribe!

I'm not trying to be marriage's champion on WSO haha, it's a huge commitment that many people aren't mature enough to make. I've also always viewed it as an archaic concept.

However, for every investment banker I know who's divorced, I've known another who has an amazing marriage. Furthermore, most bankers I've seen suffer the shit end of a divorce... I've never found myself asking, "Wow, they were such a great guy, I wonder why it didn't work out?"

It all depends on the individual. If you put effort into your marriage, odds are you won't get asset stripped. If you're a shit bag husband that forgets anniversaries, misses your kids soccer game, and works late to sleep with the secretary. Odds are you're in for a bumpy ride.

This post is a prime example of why the divorce rate in this country is over 50%. Don't know if OP is serious or not, either way the responses are pretty alarming. Juggling girlfriends is one thing but cheating on a spouse is just fucking low-class, especially when kids are involved. Hope some of you guys grow up in time before you fuck up the lives of innocent bystanders from your inability to keep your dick in your pants.

hahaha that was my decision, yeah probably got clicks, i haven't checked though. just put it on because polarizing, a big discussion and honestly haven't seen something specifically like this before (or at least it's been awhile).

I don't get it why many here on this forum are actually justifying cheating. Sure I like to romp now and then when I'm single, but if I'm giving a commitment, I expect a similar commitment from the woman too. At the same time, if the woman is insanely attractive and we're both committed to each other, but I cannot give her the space to fulfill her dreams, I would call the relationship off rightaway. If I found out a woman was cheating on her boyfriend, I simply called it off. Most people here won't get it, it seems.

As for marriage, thanks to cultural norms, my parents may have already decided upon some chick I don't even know about. So I'm trying to get as much quality snatch as possible before the deadline hits. Maybe that's why I prefer being single for now.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

How dope would it be though if you're future arranged wife ends up being a smoking hot, super chill, friendly and energetic executive chef/yoga instructor?

Oh, how I wish! But she's likely going to be a stay-at-home type, considering the parents' preferences for a daughter-in-law. Maybe I should just go for a Southern yoga instructor/fashion designer chick. That would be dope.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

How does a wife do that and not believe in her heart of hearts that her husband would kill her? I swear, you guys need to do better jobs of making your wives know murder is not off the table if they fuck around hard enough.

I'm at the age where more married men hit on me. They think they are so tricky!!! I met one guy and we started talking, nice guy, etc. I google him and literally the first thing that pops up was his very recent (last month) run for public office along with a blurb about how he has been married for 9 years and has two children. I took a screenshot of the article and sent it to him along with me saying "really?". He never responded and defriended himself!

There's just too much information online now that it's pretty easy to tell what is going on in a guys life and if it is true. Also, guys who do cheat act super weird and usually give themselves away pretty easily.

"I have a client whose husband started having an affair and was very open about it," Chemtob says. "He told his wife, and the wife would wake up, and the girlfriend would be in the other bedroom. It was absolutely crazy. They had small kids. He just didn't care."

Nevertheless, the wife never left him, choosing to tolerate his infidelity rather than relinquish her lavish lifestyle.

"That woman had a prenuptial agreement where she got hardly any money if she got divorced. He felt like he could do whatever he wanted because she didn't get any money. I think prenups are almost a license to misbehave. People get trapped in their marriages by their prenup and so they have to turn a blind eye."

She says husbands who bully their way into a menage a trois with cash and gifts are another source of trouble.

"I have a lot of threesome issues," Chemtob says. "There was one where the husband said, 'I'll buy you a major piece of jewelry if you let me be single for a week.' She said okay. He went out with a woman for that week and he ended up marrying her later," Chemtob says. But another time "the husband wanted a threesome. They had the threesome and the wife ended up falling in love with the other woman."

And them, kids, they are the GODS.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

to address your concerns, the OP (me) is quite serious about the post. it's a topic we cannot (afford) lying to ourselves about.

and a "fun fact" to consider-so we all know marriage is a manmade societal construct. if it's not natural, where did it originate from?marriage was "invented" by the Romans, where the leaders at the time were aware of the "one alpha male, multiple wives" situation, one that is actually the natural state of animals and humans alike (humans are polygamous by default, and 'pressured' into monogamy). so why did the Romans shun polygamy? it created a problem of large populations of single, beta-males who were restless, prone to crime, or simply migrated out of the empire, diminishing the tax base. so alas, marriage was instituted to stabilize society and ensure a large, taxable working class.

this stuff (anthropology, sociology) interest me far more than finance/economics. i just do this hedge fund stuff to get money.

Why do you need to cheat? Just date multiple women and let them know that you are seeing other people.. for some fucked up reason girls are attracted to this and it keeps you honest.. Make it last for a while and at some point she will ask you: what are we? At that point just say its nothing serious and replace her from your rotation if she is not down anymore.

Once you are done fucking around and want to get serious then you can consider dating a girl. I don't approve of guys who cheat on their wives/girlfriends, I think its beta as fuck. Honestly why would you get into a relationship if you are going to fuck other girls? Its kinda insecure, just tell her straight up that you are fucking other girls and if she is not down for that just find another girl.

Reality is more complicated than the commonly cited 50% divorce rate statistic. You need to adjust for probability of divorce in your income bracket, age group, education level, etc, which is materially lower. For the illustrative member of this forum, it's likely ~20%. To be clear, the EV is worse if you are rich, but that's only because the loss on failure is high despite the probability being actually fairly low.

Getting a solid prenup signed at the wedding with a pastor present solves most of the problems being stated. It isn't a black-and-white issue.

Like Goldie above, I have at times wanted to screw anything not bolted down to the floor. But you should really think about how your partner would feel, or how you'd feel if you were cheated on. I think a lot of these "it's Nature were all meant to fuck everyone else" discussions overlook that side of it

You know in China, there's a saying like this: if you fuck someone's girlfriend/wife, one day your girlfriend/wife will get fucked. Another way to think about this is that you don't spend that much time with your significant other anymore and she will probably meet some other guy who attempts to do you know what.

Ya know what the trick about being married is? Running across someone else that you'd like to fuck is something that JUST HAPPENS. I've run into people that I either ran into regularly who seemed like they'd be great or in my MBA programs there were any number of undergrads. Every once in a blue moon I'd get something undeniably obvious where they'd do shit making eye contact, smiling, and then showing up a minute later right in front of where I was working out doing straight legged deadlifts....butt facing me.

Yeah there's chicks who look good, yeah it's easy to wonder a "what if". However none of that matters. I have already made the CHOICE not to do it, and any passing interest you may feel will go away on its own as long as you do not indulge it.

You're at the first stage...the next stage is realizing that as a man, if you want a family, you will have to work hard to stay strong as the leader of that family, and this includes the way you handle and treat your wife. It's all well and good to go on and on about how only betas get married...until you're 50 and alone, living in a giant empty house with no one to come home to.

Are good women hard to find? Of course, and increasingly so. But by throwing up your hands and writing it all off and pledging to be the male version of exactly what you detest so much in a woman, you're hardly solving the problem. There is nothing "lacking" in masculinity about being the strong, successful leader of your family as a man.

Look we've all been there...we've been burned, we've seen the true nature of male-female relationships. We've somehow fooled ourselves into thinking that we're going to build a long, happy healthy life by fucking someone new once a week. But you're insane if you think that's going to work for long.

It's just fine to be single and figure your shit out for a while. Do that. But do not get married, attempt to have a family, and then destroy it by cheating on your wife. If you have kids, this is an evil thing to do.

You're at the first stage...the next stage is realizing that as a man, if you want a family, you will have to work hard to stay strong as the leader of that family, and this includes the way you handle and treat your wife. It's all well and good to go on and on about how only betas get married...until you're 50 and alone, living in a giant empty house with no one to come home to.

Are good women hard to find? Of course, and increasingly so. But by throwing up your hands and writing it all off and pledging to be the male version of exactly what you detest so much in a woman, you're hardly solving the problem. There is nothing "lacking" in masculinity about being the strong, successful leader of your family as a man.

Look we've all been there...we've been burned, we've seen the true nature of male-female relationships. We've somehow fooled ourselves into thinking that we're going to build a long, happy healthy life by fucking someone new once a week. But you're insane if you think that's going to work for long.

It's just fine to be single and figure your shit out for a while. Do that. But do not get married, attempt to have a family, and then destroy it by cheating on your wife. If you have kids, this is an evil thing to do.

Hahaha how is this a real thread? A lot of the responses to this are fucked on so many levels. Why would you want to cheat on your wife or even your girlfriend? I've been cheated on before and shit sucks, and you WILL get caught at some point.

I'm not genuinely baffled as humans are humans. We make mistakes. I am not against people speaking honesty either. No shit these are real life situations and life isn't a fairytale, but it doesn't make these actions a good thing. There's no true way to justify cheating on a person. So how about you pipe down and shut the fuck up. Hate when assholes like you come around on this site and say stuff like that.

Alright so here it goes... My girlfriend and I live together right now. We've been together for about three years now. We had a baby and our son is 19 months old now. Anyhow, she doesn't work and I'm the sole provider. I pay the bills, hers too. You know, after 3 months of meeting her, I got bored, especially with all the petty fighting that we do. In my opinion, I don't think majority of people cheat because they're attracted to someone else but they enjoy challenge and the excitement (I read an article and they said cheating might by linked in the DNA). For me, the feeling of the unknown when meeting someone new and not knowing what to expect is exciting. Since I've been with my girlfriend, I cheated her on with probably 10 girls... Am I proud? No. Does she know? Yes. How?

Well... when I upgraded my old phone, I left it in our bedroom and she literally spent everyday for three months trying to figure out the password. Not even joking. She read everything... From text messages, emails and photos. When she caught me, I could have lied and said it was only 2 girls but I told her the truth and said it was 10, since I've met her. She balled her eyes out. I fell like the BIGGEST piece of shit in the world because I know she would never do the same to me. I got on my knees and I pleaded. I even told her I spend $1,200 at strip clubs on some nights in the city and that I got with a bartender from the club and even hooked up with the cleaner here in our building. I'm not lying, I have no reason to lie on here. I told her everything because she deserved it. She asked me "Why?", as she was crying and I told her... "From all the arguing that we do... I gave up." She told me I should have left her than and I agreed.

Fast forward, this happened about 3 months ago... I started thinking to myself and tried to figure out what made me love her in the first place? Is she a model? No... Does she make a lot of money? Not even close. Does she have a college degree? Nope. I loved her for her personality and to me, she is gorgeous. I never begged so hard for her forgiveness. I'm sorry P... I love you and I promise to be a better man.

We share our phones... emails... everything. It's not about taking it to the extreme but if we want to rebuild trust, it has to start somewhere. If you love someone, you should have nothing to hide. We don't accuse each other. It's just a matter of sharing our privacy not because it's obligated but because we trust each other.

Bro how are you sorry? You're just sorry you got caught. And the only reason she stayed is you're a provider and she has no value and a kid to care for. holding a sorry I have a dick press conference on some tiger woods shit...

She caught me and I told her everything. I didn't have to mention about the strip clubs or hooking up with a bartender... The thing she found on my phone didn't show any of that but I told her, so I can start on a clean slate. I'm not saying I'm a better person but me disclosing stuff she wouldn't have found out was her deserving answers. Listen... Shes not the kind of person who mooches off for money, if I told her to leave, she would leave me and take the baby and not ask for a single child support. But she stays because she has hope in me that we can work it out.

@GoldenCinderblockYou said yourself you were kind of fucked up. Maybe other people are not fucked up? Maybe the type of woman who is attracted to you is worth cheating on but other types of women are not? You seem to be on some kind of a crusade here to justify yourself by proving everyone is like you.

How the fuck has no one said only date women who come from money? Rich hot chicks are like the fucking plague for guys, 95% of men won't even approach them so they are eager to date guys who aren't on their level. Another upside is their parents likely had a fucked up relationship with dad being gone and fucking his secretary that a dude cheating on them will just seem like a normal thing. So you basically have permission to bang other chicks. Sure you might run into the crazy one who would try to kill you, but if you always play it safe you will never have a chance at a three some with two girls you are dating.

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