A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.""You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist."I do" replies the man. "How did you know?""Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."The man below replies, "You must work in management.""I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?""Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The man looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help."If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."