The 5 Most Unsettlingly Funny Lines in a Real-Life Serial Killer’s Review of Kevin Bacon’s New Serial-Killer Series

Most disturbing development in television criticism this year? An imprisoned serial killer who appears in shadowy, voice-altered form on the weekly cable series Dark Mindshas weighed in on Kevin Bacon’s new crime series on Fox. The Kevin Bacon show, The Following, centers on an F.B.I. agent (Bacon) investigating a “brilliant and charismatic” serial killer/former Edgar Allen Poe professor who manages to build a social network of serial killers(!) from a prison-library computer.

Despite the fact that this premise sounds pretty amazing, the real serial killer—who goes by “Raven” on his cable series—has panned the crime drama. TheNew York Post has his jaded take in apiece that is so unsettlingly brilliant, we’ve consolidated the most inadvertently hilarious lines of the full report below.

“They just can’t seem to ever get it right in Hollywood when it comes to what really makes us tick,” the real-life killer replied.

“We don’t have Edgar Allan Poe heads in a closet. Real serial killers create a legend. They don’t latch onto Edgar Allan Poe,” Raven said. [Blogger’s note: Said the serial killer who has chosen “Raven” as his television handle.]

The serial killer was so disappointed with “The Following” that he turned off the drama 40 minutes into its one-hour airtime.

Raven . . . has basic cable in his maximum-security prison cell . . . and decided to watch the show after seeing all the promos leading up to its debut last week.

Raven, who is serving a life sentence, is not going anywhere, and will be able to tune in.