Last Saturday, Victoria's Secret had some kind of Super Bowl party to hand out awards that answered the question "What Is Sexy?"

Q: What the hell does Vicki's have to do with the Super Bowl? If you said, "Who cares?" you answered correctly.

Anyway, here's Adriana, Selita, and Karolina having a ball with the awards (which include Victoria Beckham for "sexiest mom" and Ryan Seacrest for "sexiest smile." Whatever). And I'd like to know who had the bright idea for them to wear jeans in a room filled with lingerie. It was either a gay guy or a jealous bitch, and that person just got added to my enemies list. Horses, you're off the hook. For now.

And I'd like to know who had the bright idea for them to wear jeans in a room filled with lingerie.

I'd like to forward the notion that at an event like that, lingerie says "I've been paid to appear almost naked. After the event I will be returning to my alien home where men such as yourself do not exist but would be executed if you did."

Jeans, on the other hand, give the illusion of "I am a real woman in real clothing and if you are charming and handsome enough, you might someday have the chance to remove these jeans from my body WITH MY CONSENT."

In other words, the jeans idea is just about the meanest thing I've ever seen. And I was in 'Nam*.