August Self-Help Class - By Castugi (pen name)

Pages

Description:
"After attempting suicide twice and legally changing his name, August now has to see a therapist to talk about his problems. But after his parents leave for a business conference for their restaurant as part of a franchise disagreement, his isolation triggers his obsessive compulsive disorder and megalomaniac tendencies. He accidentally stumbles across modern day brainwashing."

My thoughts:
So far it's a great story, I'm only two-thirds through the book but it's getting really good (I don't want to give too much away). Since everyone is so anal about association and copyright infringement, I do not claim to own this work nor associate myself with the company nor am one. I only posted it here because I didn't know anywhere else too.

I'll let you know when I've finished reading.

KVIS

UPDATE: Finished the book, it was great! Really twisted ending, all the same it was sorta a genius series of tangents.

Oh, well that's good to know then. The book is getting intense, after this I'm going to read a Stephen King classic called "Misery". I've been meaning to read it for years now. Any other suggestions in horror, satire, transgression fiction?

I've been lurking these forums for a while, thought I'd make an account to say out of all the eBooks I've bought on Amazon today (even if this one wasn't) this one is definitely in the top 10. Think of Dr Strange Love, but in high school or a teenage Caesar / evil genius I guess.

"Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You" is also a great read for the whole family to enjoy. That is all.

I found a copy of The Happy Man and His Dump Truck at work the other day and surprised the girls who work up front by reciting it (they thought I was kidding when I said it was good and that I read it all the time). But, for dump truck stories, my favorite is The Little Blue Truck.

OKAY. I have finally finished reading August Self-Help Class by Castugi and it is one of the best pieces of Satire I have read in a long time. This is I, KVIS's shitty review on the book that will probably turn off people from actually reading the book.

So August is the loner-introvert type who has no friends and isn't close with his family as they always seem to be traveling for business. He starts seeing a therapist and they talk throughout most of the book why he wanted to kill himself and what his life has come too. He always talks about how he's sick of how everyone seems to be easily influenced and talks about building this empire. Anyway I don't want to give too much away, after August realizing that he has this gift of influence, he starts persuading his masses on the internet to do weird shit like buy pony t-shirts and tells them all to get bowl cuts. It gets darker and darker as he scams them out of A LOT of money with his 'August Self-Help Class' forum and continues to expand this empire.

It's awesome, but the only downsides of this book afterwards is you'll want to give yourself a bowl cut, start an empire and learn how to manipulate people on a mass scale and be average. Aside from that it's an "Average. I'm average." read, you won't understand that till you've read it.

I still call shenanigans on this. You're either the author or you're best buds with the author. Just be real, man. Also, i don't like it when there has to be a disclaimer that "all typos and errors in grammar are intentional", it smacks of not wanting to fully edit your book and it doesn't work.

I still call shenanigans on this. You're either the author or you're best buds with the author. Just be real, man. Also, i don't like it when there has to be a disclaimer that "all typos and errors in grammar are intentional", it smacks of not wanting to fully edit your book and it doesn't work.

You caught me out on that one good sir! I'm getting paid $50 per forum for spamming this, I bullshit product reviews and market for a living -ever seen those people who decide to wear 'my little pony' t-shirts? I feel partly to blame for that, but we were meant to advertise too a younger audience (5 - 9 year old boys) but it didn't work out that way to our shock horror.

Honestly the only book I've ever been able to read the whole way through was this one and that's because I wouldn't get paid for it otherwise.

So yes I am nonetheless a fraud, the author of this book didn't feel like spell checking or fixing the grammar and the publisher doesn't give a shit. In fact this guy Castugi, his exact words were:

"I want the reader to read a book that tells the reader to pretty much go fuck themselves and every shitty ideology they so helplessly believe in. That is what this book is, dealing with today's imaginary problems, loner psycho introvert style that involves pulling the rug of freewill from under these peasants feet. You can tell them that if you like, I don't give a shit about sales or dollar signs (publishers didn't really like the idea of giving it away for free, lowest price they would sell it for). I want people to read a book, that tells them the truth. Bible story shit, without the bullshit."

Initially I wasn't going to include that piece but coming clean when you've been caught out is the only way I know how to escape.

Read it, don't read it. I get paid either way, hell if you contact the publisher and ask for Castugi's email he'll give you the book for free if you want to read it.

Can I get paid for spamming this on forums? Because i don't really give a dang about any forum other than this one so I could spam the whole internet of forums with this. Like, PM me with info, man. I want in. I will even read it first too. (Just hold off on the PM until after the makeover scheduled for now, otherwise I won't get the PM... will be lost in the abyss of lost PM's)

$50 per forum and we get a 5% commission for ever sale whether we referred it or not.

This isn't something you can just 'join' and spam away, although over the past 3 days I've made $1,150(USD) -23 forums, 11 of them deleted the threads and 3 others banned me. You show them the post, you keep the conversation rolling and 'ka-ching', dollar dollar signs. Hasbro paid out $15,000 - $37,203 to each of us in commissions of their "My Little Pony" merchandise sales, and Frictional Games made us in total something like $87k or around that too split between all of us for their game 'Amnesia'. Basically we market a product by spamming forums, upset a lot of people or make them manically happy and we get paid in return. It's easy money if you know how to sell.

Anyway no one seems to be interested in the shit I'm selling here so it's onto the next one, at the end of the day it's easier making money from commission without having to do anything apart from setting up a 'turn key' type deal and watch the money come through than spam.

Oh, if anyone tries to sell you an marketing system, it's a scam. Real internet marketers will actually sell you a real product -not how to get rich.

Actually, some of us might take interest in the book. That is the way we are. We aren't normally spammed about books. Shoes and cheap prom dresses and life insurance and the occasional porn spam.

But, books. We are weak for those. They hit our heart spot. I mean, we engaged with you about it.

Anyway, if not... you remain the most personable spam to have ever spmammed us.

I mean, you almost got us.

That's the thing though, as a sales person, a person of business, we know when the deal is done or a sale is sold. No one will buy this book just because I am a spammer. It could be the most life changing piece of work you would of have ever read, raw, the lazy author, no spelling, just emotion piling onto a page. But because the person who is selling you this is a spammer, no one can buy it otherwise myself, the spammer wins and of course because people are so hung up about their egos they can't have that now can they?

I've never been a book person and this is the only book I've read because it was the only way I would get paid, the only thing that I'm good at is investing and selling. But August Self-Help Class was something that I couldn't have expected from a book, the adolescent alone in the world, no friends, distant to family, the obsession with money because it's the only tangible thing he has -this was something I could relate with.

I've seen the movie Fight Club so that's how I found this forum, this book that I've been spamming is something I want sold but feels almost like it was written about me that I don't want anyone to read it.

Don't buy the book from the spammer, buy the ideas of an author. KVIS, out -the emotionless, money making machine hurt, by words written in an lazy, amateur writer's book.

Spamlicious: Shit, man. You got me. I ain't even married. Now put your fucking hands in the air!

You know how this ends?

Screeeeeeeew yooooooooooou Beeeeeeeeeenyyyyyyyy!

And I would of gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

In all honesty I'm still loaded, and I'm rich too so I'm not affected by this in anyway. Get paid to sell fiction, video games, merchandise. But it's not selling, it's just blatant manipulation and social engineering, Castugi was inspired by the idea of what we do and so he wrote a book slightly more exaggerated about it.

According to Awstats (website statistics software), 29 of the book sales came from this site alone. With that note, my spam is done.

But seriously, if the only reason you've ever read a book is to spam forums about said book, then you're missing out. There are some amazing books out there. You could enjoy them in between hot and sticky spam sessions.
Furthermore, most children have read more than one book. C'mon, man.

Maybe some of will buy this book, maybe some of us will email the author and try to get a free copy (both are plausible in these parts) maybe no one will do either of those things and maybe you will end up banned, even.

But I just have to say, if you are truly honest with what you wrote about not being a book person, and having read this just as it was your job, and it having hit that place you speak of... if you are really real about that, not just continuing the sales pitch like the best damn salesperson would pull it to even that point, if you are real about meaning that... then I can say for everyone of us. We are Happy.

That is what we all mean, all of us book geeks and nerds and goofs and writers and wannabe writers, that is what has happened to all of us with a book. And then we search for another. Like a drug. We make ourselves sick on it almost, wading through so much, so many words, a mire even. And then we find that again. We find it and we find it and we find and it gets us high. So high.

And it is nothing that may be explained except in words as simple as the ones you used.

We try to share it with others, but cannot. It is a solitary addiction. One that must be found and sought in isolation. Even another addict to this drug cannot experience the same thing, even reading the same words at the same time, the same effect or affect is never a reality. But we rave on.

Maybe some of will buy this book, maybe some of us will email the author and try to get a free copy (both are plausible in these parts) maybe no one will do either of those things and maybe you will end up banned, even.

But I just have to say, if you are truly honest with what you wrote about not being a book person, and having read this just as it was your job, and it having hit that place you speak of... if you are really real about that, not just continuing the sales pitch like the best damn salesperson would pull it to even that point, if you are real about meaning that... then I can say for everyone of us. We are Happy.

That is what we all mean, all of us book geeks and nerds and goofs and writers and wannabe writers, that is what has happened to all of us with a book. And then we search for another. Like a drug. We make ourselves sick on it almost, wading through so much, so many words, a mire even. And then we find that again. We find it and we find it and we find and it gets us high. So high.

And it is nothing that may be explained except in words as simple as the ones you used.

We try to share it with others, but cannot. It is a solitary addiction. One that must be found and sought in isolation. Even another addict to this drug cannot experience the same thing, even reading the same words at the same time, the same effect or affect is never a reality. But we rave on.

If you are real, then welcome. Enjoy. The world is yours now.

Maybe some here will read it either way, no matter. Maybe.

I mean I've read books before you know and I've watched satire movies and all of that, but I think that this target audience for this book, even if it isn't professional work and it goes on more poetic tangents than anything else -the main character was someone I could relate with, I'm not sure how many other people gets this but it triggers a memory, back in high school, growing up and all of that type of stuff.

I don't know how else to explain it as I'm just a spammer, seller, merchant or whatever convincing people to buy product xyz from company zyx.

I read something, and it helps me give a better understanding of oneself and why people do what they do. I guess at the end of the day, the only appropriate thing about this book is the title, the writing is mediocre and the storyline doesn't make a lot of sense but a piece of literature that makes you judge your lifestyle and your own decisions no matter how poorly written upon the guidelines of what the past writers dictate, I finally knew the definition of satire and what it is too be a person.

Forget the book, I just want to find another one that makes me feel the same way.

Nice going KVIS, only such a room mate like yourself could fuck shit up to this scale. Truth is KVIS only cares about two things, money and his craft. Bullshit, is his first language. Good try my good sir, but not today! ;D

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