Thursday, January 23, 2014

Rob Ford: Best Mayor Ever

Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, hanging out with some buddies in front of an alleged crack house.

If you're from the United States, you probably don't know much about Toronto (or anywhere). That's okay. It doesn't make you a bad person. The public schools failed you, not the other way around.

Toronto is a major city. With more than 2.7 million people, it's the largest city in Canada by population, and the fourth largest in North America. It's also an important world financial center - not New York or London (a big city in England) by any means, but important nonetheless.

Its mayor is 44-year-old Rob Ford. He is the Best Mayor Ever.

Where to begin? Well, he admits that he has smoked crack while in office. Somewhere, the police have a video of him smoking crack while in a crack house, though this video hasn't been released. He is an alcoholic, is routinely drunk, and drives under the influence while on city business.

He has been accused of groping female city employees. He once accosted a couple while watching a hockey game in a drunken rage, and was removed from the crowd by stadium security. Then he denied it ever happened, despite there being numerous eye witnesses.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah. To appreciate Rob Ford, you have to watch him in action. With that in mind, here are five Rob Ford videos, proving that he is the Best Mayor Ever.

Rob Ford walks out of a meeting and plunges head first into a news camera.

Mayor Ford appears to either threaten to kill someone, or defeat them in a wrestling match. If you've ever seen someone on cocaine, then you'll probably notice that this isn't a drunken rant.

The good-natured mayor falls while trying to throw a forward pass. Note the huffing and puffing afterward. Enjoy him while you have him, folks. A 400-pounder with a high-stress job, who enjoys his steaks, smokes crack and drinks to excess isn't going to be around forever.

A drunken Rob Ford holds court, speaking in a fake Jamaican accent, at a fast-food restaurant called "Steak Queen."