one-off at the wrist

19 11 xx

“Phew! International Men’s Day is finally over. We had a quiet one this year. Just friends and family at home, sexually harassing each other over a large goose. We pulled crackers and inside each was a Polly Toynbee quote, which we read out in a mocking ladyvoice. Then the traditional afternoon walk: so nice to see other men out in the park, flashing. We flashed the vicar and he good-naturedly flashed back and even gave himself a little wank. Then we stopped off at the police station to see if there were any crimes being reported by women for us to disbelieve. Finally, after beating each other up outside a bus stop, we all drunkenly wobbled home to read Donald Trump’s Twitter feed and commit suicide. Roll on next year!”