Monday, August 30, 2004

Because Lesbianism Begins With A Stern Trim Day!

Until now, you've only known your 19 year old sister to pursue unattainable men. She's held on to long-distance boyfriends with a decided calm. Her crushes have all fallen on men far outside of her age group or male friends with girlfriends. Occasionally, you wonder at the last time she might have had sex, which makes you feel like you've invaded her privacy just within the confines of your silent conjuecture.

But you've never ever thought she might be gay. Until this afternoon, when she came home with a close-cropped "bowl" of a haircut. The same cut you had when you were 12 and playing soccer. No matter how she musses and fusses with it, there can never be anything remotely "feminine" about what's settled upon her head right now. And she's never looked better.

"Holy shit, she's gay," you thought. You thought it the minute she got out of the car. She said hey to you and walked up the stairs without waiting for a remark on her new 'do. You stayed in your seat, feeling like a master detective who's just cracked a case.

"No wonder," you thought. "She's always seemed so tense in the shoulders. A very aggressive driver."