The Stinger is an off-road, winter duathlon. Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight cowboy; make sure your kit is up to the task.

This is a MTB duathlon, but we’ll allow ‘cross bikes. There won’t be a separate race category for ‘cross bikes, in the same way that there won’t be a single-speed category, a fat bike category, or a category for 41-year old blokes called Nigel.

Race distances are a 5km of-road run, a 20 km MTB section (4 laps of the 5 km run) and a final sneaky 3km Stinger slip and slide.

Pairs will have a bike number and a running number. The bike number must be zip-tied to the front of the bike, on the handlebars and OVER the cables, not under them. The run number must be pinned or stapled to the front of the runner. Don’t trim the numbers in any way – there is no aero advantage when you are knee deep in mud.

Soloists will have both a bike and a run number, attach as directed above and write your blood group in permanent pen on your forehead.

Pre-race: listen to the briefing and acquaint yourselves with the transition area. Have a clear plan of what you are going to do in transition; when the red mist descends you’d better have all your ducks in a row.

Absolutely no riding in transition. Dismount when asked / ordered to and remount as directed. Helmets to be put on before bike is un-racked and, and not to be taken off until the bike is re-racked.

Wear a tri-suit at your peril! You’d better be very, very good and not be beaten by a bloke in baggies.

Soloists – don’t run in your cycle helmet. It’s not an essential part of our risk assessment and you’ll be a bit sweaty. And definitely don’t do the run in carbon SPDs; that’s just plain daft.

For the Stinger run, an extra five seconds putting your shoes on tightly will save you five minutes having to dig them out of the bog when they slip off.

Relay – there must be physical contact between team members at transition. A high-five or a man hug will suffice. Spotting your team mate in the distance is not your cue to sprint off.

Presentation will be done as soon as all category winners are in and had chance to hose themselves down

DIDN’T GET THE RESULT YOUR WERE LOOKING FOR in 2013? THEN SIGN UP FOR A FULLY SUSSED TRAINING DAY AND BE READY FOR THE NEXT ONE.