Thursday, July 02, 2009

My grandfather, a genuine Bogman from Crinna Hill, Castleisland in the Kingdom of Kerry, could blaspheme uninterrupted and without repeating himself employing a Gordian Knot of profanities, scatological, pornographic and epicly laced nouns, verbs, abverbs and adjectives that could shatter the teeth of a Dutchman.

Larry Hickey would walk Shep his mongrel mix of matted-haired fanged menace along the railroad tracks around 75th Place and Ashland, dragging the black/brown/yellow massive mutt with applications of broom handle for direction and darts ofvillainous language much more 'hurtful' as PC Cupcakes are wont to say. PETA would have loved Lawrence!

"Christ, Jeezus Almighty! Shtop, So! Godammit you rare 'Hoor of a frothy Bitch's welp! . . . & etc. only louder!" Much to the amusement and edification of urchins playing along the tracks at Marshfield.

Grandpa Hickey was a howling Modern Language Association Convention encorpified and a blazing tutorial on blasphemously charged imprecations and maledictions on two legs. I received a Four-letter Degree, along with my sixty-plus 1st cousins, well before the Sisters of Mercy taught me phonics and catechism.

Language is the sacrament of the Irish.

Now, due to PC-idiocy and membership in the European Union, Ireland is being coerced into dumb-down its once high-standards for licentious language:

A NEW crime of blasphemous libel is to be proposed by the Minister for Justice in an amendment to the Defamation Bill, which will be discussed by the Oireachtas committee on justice today.

At the moment there is no crime of blasphemy on the statute books, though it is prohibited by the Constitution.

Article 40 of the Constitution, guaranteeing freedom of speech, qualifies it by stating: “The State shall endeavour to ensure that organs of public opinion, such as the radio, the press, the cinema, while preserving their rightful liberty of expression, including criticism of Government policy, shall not be used to undermine public order or morality or the authority of the State.

“The publication or utterance of blasphemous, seditious, or indecent material is an offence which shall be punishable in accordance with law.”

Last year the Oireachtas Committee on the Constitution, under the chairmanship of Fianna Fáil TD Seán Ardagh, recommended amending this Article to remove all references to sedition and blasphemy, and redrafting the Article along the lines of article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, which deals with freedom of expression.

The prohibition on blasphemy dates back to English law aimed at protecting the established church, the Church of England, from attack. It has been used relatively recently to prosecute satirical publications in the UK.

In the only Irish case taken under this article, Corway -v- Independent Newspapers, in 1999, the Supreme Court concluded that it was impossible to say “of what the offence of blasphemy consists”.

It also stated that a special protection for Christianity was incompatible with the religious equality provisions of Article 44.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern proposes to insert a new section into the Defamation Bill, stating: “A person who publishes or utters blasphemous matter shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable upon conviction on indictment to a fine not exceeding €100,000.”

“Blasphemous matter” is defined as matter “that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion; and he or she intends, by the publication of the matter concerned, to cause such outrage.”

Where a person is convicted of an offence under this section, the court may issue a warrant authorising the Garda Síochána to enter, if necessary using reasonable force, a premises where the member of the force has reasonable grounds for believing there are copies of the blasphemous statements in order to seize them.

Labour spokesman on justice Pat Rabbitte is proposing an amendment to this section which would reduce the maximum fine to €1,000 and exclude from the definition of blasphemy any matter that had any literary, artistic, social or academic merit.

I am not an ordinary playwright in general practice. I am a specialist in immoral and heretical plays. My reputation has been gained by my persistent struggle to force the public to reconsider its morals.” George Bernard Shaw, 1909

“No nation can prosper or even continue to exist without heretics and advocates of shockingly immoral doctrines.” George Bernard Shaw, 1909

“The blasphemy laws are the legal protection of nonsense. Why is there not an equivalent of the blasphemy laws for science? The reason is that science can take any criticism leveled against it.” Nick Harding, 2007

“To criticise people for their race is manifestly irrational, but to criticise their religion is surely a right. The freedom to criticise or ridicule ideas – even if they are sincerely held beliefs – is a fundamental freedom.” Stephen King, Irish Examiner, 2009

“With one satiric touch Ahern has honoured the memory of Shaw, Yeats and Gregory and reminded us that blasphemy laws exist to protect, not religions, but bigots. For his next trick, he will mark the Darwin bicentenary by threatening to make creationism compulsory.” Fintan O’Toole, Irish Times, 2009

“I want everybody to realise what this Constitution states about authority… What we have here is clear at any rate - that authority is from God. That is fundamental Catholic doctrine, and it is here. It is true doctrine.” Eamon de Valera, 1937

So, I'm in Keegan's Pub on Western Ave.one night when the Salt Water Irish thicken up the south end of the bar and Eugenious Callahan makes a play for Aidan McKenna's sister - a Mickey Dodger with the Ursalines and after a few scoops of Guinness together she starts rubbin on Owenie a complete Guillermo, when McKenna admonishes -"You clatty pr*ck. I told you she had herpes. I'm pretty sure they're doing a line alright. There was f*ckin' gee juice and pubes all over the kitchen table this mornin'." " Eugenious protests "Jaysus, She's Nun! A Mickey Dodger! Feck Sake, your talking bollicks ,Man!"

McKenna opines,""Bit of advice, son. Don't ever tell a woman she's a stupid, fat cow with the personality of a f*cking toothpick and a face like a bag of spanners. I haven't got my oats off your mother in three f*cking weeks. The disagreeable b*tch."

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Dad always said that I couldn't find my butt with both hands. I can. Allow me to add this imperative -“Defend the unborn against abortion even if they persecute you, calumniate you, set traps for you, take you to court or kill you." - Pope Francis to celebrate Pro-life Mass, Vatican

About Me

A peach of a guy with all the sweetness one could expect from a life well-spent and in good company: short on brains but a terrific dancer!
Author:
Every Heart and Hand: A Leo High School Story
The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War