Sunday, January 29, 2012

I've been very low key Web wise this past week.Last Sunday during a sneezing spasm I felt a POP!It felt like I ripped a muscle or cracked a rib onmy left side. After suffering excrutiating pain wheneverI coughed or even breathed hard, I finally dragged mysorry ass to Urgent Care on Wednesday. They took 2 X-Raysand said there was no breaks, but I just had to 'tough it out'.He gave me a script for these horse pills called Nepranal, andsent me on my way. I'm somewhat better, but I feel a constant ache. Please bear with me for a few days...I'll be back soon.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Before Sponge-Bob Square-PantsBefore Scooby-DooBefore Speed Racer...There was Rocky and Bullwinkle, Beanie and Cecil, Tom Terrific...Can You name more than TWO of these Cartoon Villains of Yore?If you can? HA!!!You are covered up right now with a Fleece or Afgan, and you arethinking about trimming your nasal hair...Have a Restful Sunday.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

How could I have been so STUPID?What a fucking idiot!!But whenever we talked on the phone, he soundedsooo sexy. His voice became raspy, his breathing became heavy....Now he'll probably NEVER speak to me again!Why did I send him those naked pix?*The Moral of This Story...?Don't confuse Asthma...With Passion!!!

If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55Please come tell The G-ManI will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!So from the most Asthmatic host from coast to coastHave a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

How many of us out there in Blog Land don't likesomething for the strangest reasons?I have a Co-Worker that refuses to watch a Tom Cruisemovie because Tom's a devout Scientologist, and hejumped up on Oprah's couch acting goofy. We kind ofgot into a heated discussion about how silly that wasuntil I realized that I have the very same attitude about Adam Sandler. I refuse to go to any of his movies(Except Happy Gilmour, that was funny!) because he speaksin an irritating little boy voice all the time.That got me to thinking.....I actually am prejudicial toward a few other things as well!

White Christmas: Bing Crosby's version gives me the creepsbecause whenever I hear his voice, I think of his childrencowering in fear of getting beat with a belt when he was home.

Mung Beans: I will NOT eat Mung Beans, because it sounds like Bung!

Corona Beer: A few years back there was an Urban Legend going around that there were photo's of Mexican brewery workersall pissing in vats of Corona destined for export too the USA.So I drink Dos Equis XX!!

Menudo: No matter how good it may be...It contains Tripe!

Pepto Bismol: You only have the need to take it, if you arefeeling like you're gonna hurl. So to me it's tantamountwith Puking. And we all know how I feel about THAT subject!(I HATE puke and all talk of Puke!!!)

Do any of you good peeps care to share a prejudice?All this Foul subject matter is making Mr. Knowitallgrow weary...Bon Soir!(Oh yeah, The French........)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

So....It's more acceptable to ask your wife foran Open Marriage, than it is to hide taxableincome in the Caymans?I'm not condoning either choice, I'm just asking...How could this issue have POSSIBLY propelled Newtto the forefront? Are people amazed by the fact thathe could even get a chick at all?Maybe Newt plays Enigma CD's when doing the Wild Thing?Poor Mitt.... He needs to get a REAL vice!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

(In a dimly lit room, someone's fate is being discussed.)"That fat bastard knows too much, perhaps he needs to beIlluminated. (As soon as the word left his mouth, every headat the meeting turned to the speaker.)...er ELIMINATED!Sorry, Freudian slip. Lets find out a little more about this...Mr. Knowitall!"

I knew it!!!! Damn that da Vinci and his cryptic obsessions!If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55..Please come tell The G-Man!I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!!So from the most Illuminated host from coast to coastHave a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Did Dan Brown miss something?Renaissance Scholars using High Resolution photography,have uncovered yet another mystery surrounding Leonardoda Vinci. It seems that an extreme close up of Mona Lisa'seye reveals the artists initials minutely imbedded.With all the Illuminati stuff already associated with Leo, did he really have to transcend into MY world and get MEassociated with those FREAKS?How you may ask? What are his initials...?LV.....Fucking LV!!!!!!!And what is the English equivilent of LV from Roman Numerals?You can guess that answer....See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST....Pax Vobiscum!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Hi Everybody.Today we are going to discuss some of the many uses of Vodka.It's NOT just for Martini's and Screwdrivers ya know!

* Cooking with Vodka*This recipe' goes PERFECTLY with all types of Food and Cooking.Take a shot glass.Fill it with Premium vodka such as Absolute, Stoli, Grey Goose, etc.Slug it down!!Open your frozen Banquet Beef/Chicken/Turkey Pot Pie.Micro-Wave on high for Five minutes.Enjoy!!!!

*Cleaning rusty tools and bolts with Vodka*Take any bottle of Vodka.Carefully look all around to make sure no one is watching.Gulp down several Glugs until you can feel it coming back up.Put the rusty objects in a basinCover with Coca-Cola.All rust will disappear within minutes!

*Removing stains with Vodka*ANY stain (grass, lipstick, puke, ink, bird-shit.)can be removedby dumping Cheap Vodka onto the stain and rubbing it out!!(I just LOVE using the phrase 'Rubbing it Out')Cheap Vodka brands such as Popov, Nikolai, Five-O'clock, work fine.

Vodka also works GREAT for....Causing Nausea, Causing women to Kiss other women, Going Blind,Getting arrested, Liver Disease, STD's, Erectile Dysfunction, Saying and doing VERY stupid shit, Causing the Illusion that No Onecan smell that you're Hammered, and On and On and On...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Forget about the meaning of Life!Forget about the gender of God!Forget about Bigfoot!Forget about how Brian Miller can make 769 Comments a day!I wanna know if it's pronounced...Care-uh-mel...Or Car-mull?I know how it's spelled, but is the 'A' silent?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

He is kind and considerate, but loves to Shock!He loves to make others smile.He listens intently, but rarely talks about himself.Other's happiness ALWAYS comes before his own.He cries real tears!He has always played the cards dealt to him....But somewhere along the line, HIS Heart got lost in the shuffle.

Regardless of Gender, we all know someone like this..Don't we?If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55Please come tell The G-ManI will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Well leave it to Ole G-Man!!The "Secret" is about to be revealed!Earlier today, The Great Grandson of ColonelHarlan Sanders, Corporal Quincey Sanders, finallysuccumbed to my incessant Badgering, and passed on tome the "Secret Spices" that goes into KFC's Original Recipe'.Supposedly there were only 11 herbs and spices involved, butaccording to this document, there is a grand total of, now get this....55 different Herbs and Spices!!!Go figure Eh? 55 DIFFERENT ingredients!!Weird shit like...Cassia BudsDill Weed (hehehehe, alarmingly close to Dick Weed)Fennel PollenFrankincenseMaceMSGOrris RootFenugreek (Fen-You-Greck)Well, I know what I'll be munching on at... Thursday 8:00 PM EST!!!Be There!!!

Monday, January 9, 2012

You can act blase'.You can have a certain Je Ne Sais Quoi.You can have all the confidence in the world.But you can NEVER completely shake the Guilt!!Oh Yeah...Sister Margaret Scarey is STILL watching!In my case, it's the Purient Smirk.I can't help it, in my sheltered youth Naughty thingswere very exciting to Catholic teens and pre-teens.So there are certain words,seemingly innocent words, thatalways causes me to smirk. The smirk of course is causedby my mind immediately racing to Double Entendreville!!Then I become ashamed that I could be so juvenile....But then again...BFD!!Tell me these words don't bring more than one image to mind.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

OK Peeps...Short and Sweet!Name me one person that when you see them on the tube,You immediately reach for the remote...Because you can't stand them under any circumstances!(You may use one of the above jerks)For me...? It's all of these Jack-Asses!!!