Thursday, May 27, 2010

The incidents in my life are teaching me a lesson to ‘follow my heart’.

I am being presented with many lucrative opportunities that I have no propensity for, but they are what any normal person would aspire for, in our social setup. I never was and am a person who would carry out tasks just because they are acceptable by standard norms.

I do believe in engaging in deeds that brings in self satisfaction, yet these lessons are unveiling a novel rendition. As these incidents unfold, my astute consciousness, comprehends beyond my limited self. I discern that I have always struck a balance between what I needed and what was acknowledged by the people around.

Every happening in my life is stringed by choices that are irresistible to decline, yet I am learning to do so without self-guilt. I should accept it is quite hard on one self to say no to things that you know your next door neighbor is chasing relentlessly. It isn’t worth to accept car if you know you aren’t going to use it, even if the car is the BMW. Our mental make up is to take things that are deemed good/valued by standards of living and not by our own.Taking the first step towards a less travelled path is demanding, but if that’s what you yearn for, face it, the society will make it a norm on your success. The moments of decision making can be stressful, but remember the lesson is important. It is natural to go with the crowd; luckily my friends and family back me up constantly, which makes resisting easier.

Once you gain clarity on what you want, resolving this friction should get evident. I know not what life holds, I know the joy of learning.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

It was a quiet evening; Sham was all by himself in his suave apartment in deep thoughts, when the phone rang. It took a minute to get a hold of him, as he maneuvered across to the phone. He was in silence as he heard the shuddering voice on the other side. He walked back and slouched down on the beige leather sofa in his living room. He made a few hasty calls before he walked in to take a shower. He was plunged in thoughts as the cab driver drove me through the familiar streets of the city he had made his home. Today, he had to leave immediately to his country, to keep a promise he had made 2 years back.

As the cab approached the drive way, he was quite content, having arranged his travel to India in a short notice. The travel was in the cards and he had been making arrangements to get his vacation sanctioned, but this call was too sudden and he couldn’t bother about the nitty-gritty of work. This is an emergency; he had to take the next flight out to make his life meaningful.

On board, the instructions of the flight attendants echoed in the background, his focus was on only one person. As the flight took off, soaring high, making its altitude, his thoughts spun backwards into a distant past. He was young and a careless teenager who went to college for a past time. It is in those hours of travel to his college in the trains, he saw Nisha. He was perched precariously onto the train, swaying in the wind, when she glanced at him. The glances turned to glares that made way to a typical friendship on the trains.

The dark clouds that he was staring into, being a part of the blue sky, took him to another time, the monsoons in Kerala. Heavy rains were lashing out in the state; they were caught in the gusty weather by the shore. They ran to the shelters nearby, stood in silence, letting the breeze sway in their ears. In those silent moments, their expressive eyes revealed love, stealing their hearts, with the trickling rain drops being the testimony.

“Seat belts on” He looked at his wrist watch another 15 minutes to land. Engulfed in the pleasant thoughts, he knew he had a task ahead, his future was at stake. He was pondering hard, in another few hours, he would be meeting Nisha’s dad, and her wedding was fixed with another groom and is scheduled to happen in 2 days. What would he tell her dad that would change his mind? How can he convince him to let them marry? He had to get his approval, there was no time. Nisha was in shatters and she needed him now, more than ever. As his thoughts were spiraling into a web of intricate knots, there was sudden loud noise, the aircraft spun out of the run way. In a split second, his thoughts evaporated in a gulf of thick fumes, before he could comprehend the situation, plane hit a blockade and tore to pieces.

Nisha was awaiting sham’s arrival to start a new life.

[Dedicated to the people on board, the fateful Mangalore bound flight. Each soul has a story to say. Love and Light. ]

Monday, May 24, 2010

I can’t believe i am married for 2 years. Time flies fast, the 2nd year has been quicker than the 1st, or at least so it seems! The celebrations this year was downplayed by large due to my exams, nevertheless it was special indeed. Anniversary doesn’t tantamount to a day of celebration, but is a reminiscent of the moments through the year!

My perception of marriage has completely changed after mine, for good though ;) The beauty of a marriage completely lies with the couple. Views on marriage can’t be passed in general, all spouse jokes target the maximum density points on the bell curve, exceptions are always there, both extremes, which extreme yours lies depends on your spouse and you !

I am really glad, He is my man. I am definitely blessed! Beyond this I don’t want words to express, for those emotions are special and will be held close to me.

I am wishing us a stronger lasting bond and many more years of togetherness through the rough and smooth tides. Let’s sail them all, hand in hand.

It’s that time of the year students await the most, having taken their final exams; it is time away from books, time to relax and enjoy! This year, around that time, I appeared for my exams. After 5 years it sure does feel different. I couldn’t fill my blog space, as I had to spend time studying to fill my answer sheet :)

I really can’t say what emotions this particular exam brought in, for it was really a long wait for me. I always intended to get back to academics, but for some reason, it never happened for 5 years! I am glad it finally did. In many ways, it is quite odd, first, the time it took and second the discipline I chose to study!

Exams are exams. Nothing can change them, no matter how old you get! The difference this time around was, there were million other things to bother, apart from the exam itself. Work, for instance, I decided to juggle between the two, so I didn’t take off during my exams. I went to work in the morning, and then went to take my exams. It was quite strenuous. For those who are still wondering what exam I am talking about, it is my first year of studies in psychology.

I have somehow always liked studying; it gives me a sense of fulfillment. This was no exception; the subject is interesting, though when you study from an exam point of view, you hardly do any justice.

It was a mixed bag of emotions! On one hand, it sure did feel good, on another, it sent my thoughts pondering over our educational system. The exam definitely didn’t test the proficiency on the subject. It was the same old methodology of answering descriptive questions which gives the room for people to write what they please. Why can’t we have direct, objective questions that would need people to be specific with their answers? I know, many who are reading this might think, that would be the final nail in the coffin for the student community. But, isn’t the whole point of studying losing its purpose in this system? Since this is a distance education curriculum, I also feel, there could have been periodic assessment in the way of case studies, reports and research studies. Why aren’t we (The Educational Sector) in India using the Internet as a potential tool in imparting various courses and using the same to be connected? Nevertheless, I know none of these changes are to come anywhere in the near future.

Besides these down sides, I still am glad I took the step ahead, for it was these same down sides that kept me away from the system for so long! I had to make a choice, couldn’t hang around. It is better you make the most of what is available, learning doesn’t end with taking up exams, it goes beyond. The system can only accredit your knowledge in particular discipline, it can never measure it holistically. I needed the accreditation, and my learning would continue; it has just begun. I really want to be part of another educational system and see if it makes a difference. I really do! Wish I don’t have to wait another 5 years. LOL !! I wouldn’t, I am making it happen soon! Till then, I wish to assist a clinical/counseling psychologist in their practice, anybody who can help, please do let me know. You can also reach out to me, if you may need any assistance in dealing with your mind :)

P.S: I still code for a living ;)

[As a side note, for my own recording, I would like to pen down, that there are lot of subtle interesting things happening in my life, from the time I decided to heal and open up]

Friday, May 7, 2010

We have all been taught about the different parts and functional systems of our body. We may not recall their functionality in entirety but would definitely be able to relate that the intestine is a part of the digestive system, the kidneys as a part of the excretory system, the lungs as a part of the respiratory system and so on. Is that all to our body? I believed so, till a few years back.

If I make a statement, “you have more than one body”, would you doubt my sanity? Of course, we all have only one physical body, one physical self that we can see and sense, does that limit us to believe we are encompassed of only biological parts that we studied way back in school?

We are a system of energy, implying that there is more to our existence beyond our physical body. Getting to the other aspects of our self, the science of yoga, delves the concept of tri-shashira, meaning three bodies, one of which is our physical body with mass. Sukshma shariram, the subtle body, it is believed to house the individual mind. The last is the karana shariram, the causal body that veils the soul. I found it marveling to discover the possibility of a vital force within, and the fact that I existed without realizing my own true self was quite stupendous. Many literatures, also refer to seven types of subtle bodies, Etheric, Emotional, Mental, Astral, Etheric template, celestial and causal body. I kind of see them as more specific layers of the three broader classification of the body.

Chakras are the energy centers or vortexes which permeate energies from physical points to the subtle bodies. There are seven major chakras in our subtle body, starting from the base of spine, the root chakra, navel chakra, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and the crown chakra. The energies flowing through each of the chakras correspond to the well being of the respective regions to which they are positioned.

The energy (vital force or prana) flows through our gross body, through Nadis, astral tubes , 3 main nadis are ida, pingla and sushmana nadi. There are more than 72000 nadis that run through our body. Pranayama, the breathing techniques help cleanse the nadis.

The three bodies are encased in five sheaths. The five koshas/sheaths are Annamaya Kosha(Food), Pranamaya Kosha(Energy), Manomaya Kosha(Emotional), Vijnyanamaya(Intellect) and Anandamaya(Bliss) kosha. The pranic or energy sheath encompasses the chakras and the nadis.

Doesn’t that seem more complex than the nervous system? A Vital living force that flows intricately, connecting our physical self, with the subtle and the higher self’s, is truly a potential force within. Kundalini is the coiled dormant potential that lies at the base of the spine, the root chakra. The Awakening of this potential is the awakening of the consciousness/awareness to connect with the cosmic consciousness.

The benefits of the each of these energy systems are tremendous. Holistically, tapping/channeling this energy is to elevate our inner consciousness. Cleansing the energy flow paths, leads to enhanced utilization integrating the body and mind. The balance needed to maintain physical well being, to attain a clear mind and to unify with The One. The potential is within us, dormant!

About Me

I am seeker in search of the absolute truth..and in this journey i play different roles..every role has provided me with abundance experience..and each experience teaches me life.
I wish to share and spread my presence :)
I am an engineer by qualification, a wanna-be psychologist(am one now) by aspiration!
I have worked in the software industry for a considerable time that has helped in many ways than one to take the hard decision of chasing my inner needs!
Yes, i am living every moment of my life, unaware of the future yet conscious of my destiny!
My Mantra: Life is beautiful!