Aww... I guess I'll have to go back to the alien theory. Hitler's moustache is really an alien that possesses him. When Hitler died, it then attached itself to Charlie Chaplain. Who knows where it is now.

A great day that will be. Just like the great day that will be when our publik indoctrination centers have all the monies they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. When those days come, you will know the revolution is near.

Aww... I guess I'll have to go back to the alien theory. Hitler's moustache is really an alien that possesses him. When Hitler died, it then attached itself to Charlie Chaplain. Who knows where it is now.

We have located the Stash of Evil, Premier Betty. It was closer to us than we thought, apparently. Observe the image below and tremble!

Forgive, but Drago slow. Did not receive standard university indoctrination. But is Nazi not word for national socialist? Is not our comrades?

National Socialists are not the friends of the Revolution. See WWII for details. Our papa bear, Comrade Josef Stalin, fought against Hitler and the Nazis (with a little help from the American capitalist pigs and the Russian winter).

While socialism ordinarily would be complementary, although a crude form of communism, it is not always compatible. Besides, National Socialists of WWII era were actually more fascists, who promoted government collusion (i.e., financial support, legal cooperation, etc.) with large corporations like Krups and Messerschmitt. Eck! At least, that is what the Party brainwashers officials told me.

By the way, your first fight against the insolent capitalist upstart, Rocky Balboa, was a triumph for Mother Russia! Your second fight was disgraceful... No offense.

…that the State shall make it its primary duty to provide a livelihood for its citizens… the abolition of all incomes unearned by work… the ruthless confiscation of all war profits… the nationalization of all businesses which have been formed into corporations… profit-sharing in large enterprises… extensive development of insurance for old-age… land reform suitable to our national requirements…

These are good for the collective, nyet?

And Hitler said in 1927: “We are socialists, we are enemies of today’s capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance.”

I can't believe I never thought of this until now, and I'd rather not contemplate what brought it on after all these years, but now that I think about it, I realize I don't recall ever seeing a boxer with a hairy chest.

Just what the Hillary has my comrades come to? Why is it always left to me to welcome the newcomers to the collective?

Welcome Comrade Hippie Critic. The Progressive Force is strong in you. But rules are rules. Welcome to the Cube, you may collect your blunt shovel from the guard and get in the line to the left. You will be washed down in the People's Shower to rid your self of any possible "bugs" and initial capitalist delousement. The bus will take you to the Karl Marx Re-Education Center where for those who survive, will begin to get in touch with their "Inner Comrade."

How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Comrade

Get a firm grip of your proletarian shovel and make several slow,deep and heavy digs, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Dig in peace and love for the common good until you start experiencing the people's pain, suffering, and hatred of the class enemy, its running dogs, and capitalism in general. Keep digging until the need for self-sacrifice overwhelms you. Breathe out selfishness,self-esteem, personal responsibility, and any thoughtcrimes that may have been haunting you. Allow shame, despair, guilt for your very existence, and blind faith in the Party doctrine to spread from the top of your head, all the way down to the tips of your fingers and toes,erasing every curvy line in your brain. This should take about five hours of uninterrupted self-criticism.

Once you feel totally guilty, worthless, and fearful, imagine yourself as a powerful Commissar in charge of purges, disappearances,and composting. Look into the piercing eyes of this Commissar and ask yourself these questions:

If you were a Commissar looking down at this worthless piece of crap with a shovel (you), what would you say to him/her/it?

- Will you be disgusted and feel an urge to squash this human stain for the common good?- Will you denounce him/her/it as Enemy of the People?- Will you want to promote him/her/it to the rank of your assistant in charge of composting Enemies of the People?- Will you reward him/her/it with an extra rationing coupon?- Or will you see something in those eyes that will turn your feet cold with fear and you will fall on your knees and announce the advent of the New Leader, Friend of People, and Father of Nations?

Once you know a clear answer to those questions, your self-criticism session is complete. You have discovered your Inner Comrade™

But wait! If you order now, you'll also receive a MimeCrime Voodoo Doll at no extra charge! Not available in stores! NOW how much would you pay?

Oooh! OOOOH! I must have this doll, to go with my Beingist Barbie and Causal Crunch Ken with sign-carrying grip. Plus I want Barbie's Dream Impeachment Kit, with protest signs, banners, face paint, orange jumpsuits, and a year's supply of fill-in-the-blank letters I can send to my representatives, demanding they pass a resolution NOW!

Or, the first Drago left the Cube to pursue a movie career, so The Party brought in a new Drago and ran some story arc where he had plastic surgery or was kidnapped by aliens, etc. so no one would notice he wasn't the same guy. Now the old Drago has come back after his movie career fizzled, and the new Drago won't leave.

But we can't let them both on the same thread, unless we pick one and show only the back of his head, like they did with Patty Duke. Or is that only if there's just one playing two?

Oh dear Lenin! Now I see what you both are talking about with the drago clones! There is one possible test.... we line them both up in front of the People's Firing Squad. The one that begs for mercy will be the imposter comrade! A true comrade would be willing to face the People's Justice For the Common Good™. with the peace that comes from placing one's fate in the Party's Hands knowing the Party is always right.

Oh dear Lenin! Now I see what you both are talking about with the drago clones! There is one possible test.... we line them both up in front of the People's Firing Squad. The one that begs for mercy will be the imposter comrade! A true comrade would be willing to face the People's Justice For the Common Good™. with the peace that comes from placing one's fate in the Party's Hands knowing the Party is always right.

The one who protests with vocabulary that includes multi-syllable words is the impostor.

I suspect Karl Rove is behind this. R-O-ve, d-R-ag-O...see what I mean? They both have an R and an O in their names!

I had an awakening this morning about this Drago! I denounce this pugilist Drago for willful destruction of the world by his excessive output of the poisonous CO2! In fact, I believe it is time that we ban any sort of exercise immediately as this exertion increases the CO2 being pumped into our precious Gaia.

I think "Comrade" Drago's use of definite articles is a dead giveaway as well:

Quote:

this Drago is an imposter!!! Do not listen to him!!!

The REAL Drago would have hunt and pecked "This Drago is imposter" with no "an." Clearly the Comrade variant is the imposter, and probably, as the Sino-cat pointed out, a Rovian plant, sent here to destroy us all from within. The use of multiple exclamation points is also out of place, as the real Drago has shown (despite the many blows to the head) a clear grasp of effective punctuation.

Unlike Balboa's self-promoting nemesis from the previous movie, Clubber Lang, Drago is a man of few words. Ludmilla, his wife as well as another sportsman (she has a gold medal in swimming), always speaks for him during interviews. He is portrayed as very cold-hearted when he comments on Apollo Creed's death: "If he dies, he dies." He speaks directly to Rocky on only two occasions, both on the night of their fight: he says "I must break you," before the match begins, and "to the end," right before the final round.

Alas, I haven't seen Ludmilla here to speak for either of them. Or perhaps this solves the mystery:

And while I like Betty's idea--they're both boxers, after all, so why not have them fight it out to the death?--I fear that smacks too much of competition, which can be very dangerous to whichever one has the lowest self-esteem, regardless of whether he's fake or real.

I suggest four of us form a panel to play a game of "To Tell the Current Truth." (I get to be Kitty Carlisle so I can dress up in glitzy designer gowns!) We'll need a third Drago (I'm sure there must be one around here somewhere). They'll line up and take turns saying, "My name is Ivan Drago," then panelists take turns asking them questions, cast their votes, and the host (we need a fifth person for the host) will say, "Will the real . . . Ivan Drago . . . please--stand--up!"

Ideally, only one should stand up. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board, where all we have right now are ideas for making new signs and chanting the usual slogans.

Or, the first Drago left the Cube to pursue a movie career, so The Party brought in a new Drago and ran some story arc where he had plastic surgery or was kidnapped by aliens, etc. so no one would notice he wasn't the same guy. Now the old Drago has come back after his movie career fizzled, and the new Drago won't leave.

But we can't let them both on the same thread, unless we pick one and show only the back of his head, like they did with Patty Duke. Or is that only if there's just one playing two?

Now I'm confused . . .

Sounds like the plotline of the true opiate of the masses...... Sap Operas

And yet, I submit to the Greater Good of the collective. I shall forfeit to my clone's earlier presence here.

Farewell, comrades. I will undergo treatment in comrade Pupovich's political science laboratory and morph into new stronger moniker.

Well, crud. That was too easy--and not much fun, either. I was looking forward to wearing a designer gown, a feather boa, some diamonds and pearls . . . I was hoping to see a show trial with "enhanced interrogation" techniques . . . I was waiting with baited breath for a dramatic unmasking of the imposter Drago.

And who rolls over and submits to their clone?

But don't get me wrong, I'm all for cloning. Votes for the Empress, and all that, especially now when she needs the math.

Comrade, Greater Good of collective requires personal sacrifice. Had I fought and kill evil clone (Drago do with both hand tie behind back), is triumph of individual over clone masses. Drago's head explode from cognitive dissonance.

Have submitted self to Commissar Pupovich and Department of Political Engineering. Drago feels change already.

I have been exposed as clone. Drago is shocked. Must have been incubating in Russian laboratory when original Drago come to Cube. Beware... any Dragos that still have big muscles since 80s must be clone.

I denounce myself.

Commissar Pupovich: Drago has submitted to DOPE to be re-engineered. When will process finish? Drago feel funny.

I have been exposed as clone. Drago is shocked. Must have been incubating in Russian laboratory when original Drago come to Cube. Beware... any Dragos that still have big muscles since 80s must be clone.

I denounce myself.

Commissar Pupovich: Drago has submitted to DOPE to be re-engineered. When will process finish? Drago feel funny.

You did well to confess Comrade. If there is one thing that can make a comrades non-soul feel cleansed and alive, it is to confess to your comrades. It is also the best bet to avoid any of the Party's more extreme corrective measures. I am sorry I had to expose you.... actually, no, I was thrilled to expose you since it can only serve to enhance my standing in the Party. The Road of Ascendency of Party Elite (RAPE) is littered with the ruined reputations and lives of other comrades after all. Can you imagine the RAPE that the Chairman, or Red Square has seen? RAPE is our goal, our mantra. Never forget this.

As you may have read in Form 567R-CR49. release of responsibility form you signed, the DOPE procedure is still in it's early stages, and the process generally is done one part at a time. I can see from your avitar that you have undergone the initial treatment. It is uh....most fetching Comrade, and being of the canine persuasion, I know fetching.

And get that beast off my ledge! I'm trying to have a perch-in for peace here!

Commissarka! Don't tell me you are fallen into imperialistic exclusionary policy. This re-engineered Drago may be Differently Enabled Aesthetic Developed, or simply DEAD as we in the Department of Mental Health refer to such, but that only makes him more in tune with the Party Directives broadcast from Laika. Besides, we will need comrades like him for when we have to start "asking for volunteers" to jump off the ledge to heighten awareness of the sheep.... proles.

And get that beast off my ledge! I'm trying to have a perch-in for peace here!

Comrade Pinkie,

Am trying to understand you. But you do not seem to embrace progressive liberal mantra of HOPE CHANGE. Drago HOPE to become better worker for the common good, Drago CHANGE to a more realized communist tool.

And get that beast off my ledge! I'm trying to have a perch-in for peace here!

Comrade Pinkie,

Am trying to understand you. But you do not seem to embrace progressive liberal mantra of HOPE CHANGE. Drago HOPE to become better worker for the common good, Drago CHANGE to a more realized communist tool.

Never in my wildest captnip-induced dreams did I expect to see a minkey-man call out Commissarka Pinkie! Drago v3.0 is right! She thinks of her pet boa constrictor and sequined gown, but forgets to think of The Common Good[sup]TM[/sup]. Where is the hope? Where is the Change? Where is your real shovel, Commissarka?

I DENOUNCE COMMISSARKA PINKIE! She is simio-phobic! We must raise awareness of this immediately. A full investigation is warranted, and a show trial, to which she can wear her gown, and her snake. But no fur.

(Comrade Re-engineered Drago, the re-education regime is very intense, and there is little time for grooming yourself or others. I offer you a flea collar (unless Pupovich took the last one, just like him too.)

And get that beast off my ledge! I'm trying to have a perch-in for peace here!

Comrade Pinkie,

Am trying to understand you. But you do not seem to embrace progressive liberal mantra of HOPE CHANGE. Drago HOPE to become better worker for the common good, Drago CHANGE to a more realized communist tool.

As for the rest of you, do something besides denouncing me! I am not a simio-phobe! (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Don't you see? He's been re-engineered by Halliburton! (Somewhere in a Houston laboratory lies a mad scientist, his spectacles askew while a bent up giant re-engineerator sizzles and sparks nearby.) It's part of a plot to suppress our movement against the Bush regime by disrupting and ending our perch-in on the ledge!

Look at the Re-engineered Drago as he runs amuck down the streets, picking up every woman he sees in a red headscarf, only to toss her aside when he realizes she's not "The One." I'M THE ONE HE WANTS! And if he climbs up this building where I'm perched on the ledge, and gets me--well, I hope you comrades have plenty of institutional-sized jugs of extra strength chloroform handy! (If not, you can buy them at Sam's Club or Costco.)

Da! I follow link and see no proof of why re-engineered Drago should not continue progressive leaders' Politics of Distraction[sup]tm[/sup] by attacking you so as to deflect attention away from own malfeasance. I am truly candidate of HOPE CHANGE who hides own failings by preying on white guilt of past simian prejudice.

But, Drago like that you bare boobs at protests. Perhaps me climb building like King Kong to find your perch.

Commissar Pupovich, Dept. of Political Engineering assures Drago that treatment is nearly complete. Will unveil me to masses like shameful imperialist show "Extreme Makeover" to much applause and glorification of the Revolution.

Da! I follow link and see no proof of why re-engineered Drago should not continue progressive leaders' Politics of Distraction[sup]tm[/sup] by attacking you so as to deflect attention away from own malfeasance. I am truly candidate of HOPE CHANGE who hides own failings by preying on white guilt of past simian prejudice.

But, Drago like that you bare boobs at protests. Perhaps me climb building like King Kong to find your perch.

Commissar Pupovich, Dept. of Political Engineering assures Drago that treatment is nearly complete. Will unveil me to masses like shameful imperialist show "Extreme Makeover" to much applause and glorification of the Revolution.

We must celebrate the diversity of the re-engineered Drago's conformity to the needs of the collective. We have the technology to make him better...faster...smarter...stronger...able to pull the voting lever until his long simian arms fall off. All for The Greater Good!

My uncle is lead geneticist at Guud Luk Gho University, Professor Peiping Thom. He will come to People's Cube Next Tuesday to encourage our re-engineered comrade and propose new genetic improvements to make Amerikkan voters more tractable and easily led. Good, no?

All the best,His Excellency President for Life,Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross’],DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea andConqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda inParticular, and Professor of Geography.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

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Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'

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