It's hard to lead a double life. Oliver Queen seems to be finding that out. Fortunately, Oliver's difficulties create mind-blowing entertainment for us! Check out the blow-by-blow awesomeness of "Honor Thy Father" in this review of episode 2.

Oliver Disappoints Us All

"Honor Thy Father" opens is the most ass-kicking-est of ways: The Arrow beats up and kills an entire crowd of evil-doers on a rooftop. Thus, a bad man by the name of Marcus Redman is inspired to return lots and lots of money to pensioners.

And then Oliver Queen has to ruin all of this heroism by referencing the Kardashians of all people. So much for heroism!

Oliver Disappoints the Reporters and Diggle

But maybe we can forgive Oliver this little transgression. After all, the poor boy has to go to court that day in order to prove that he is, in fact, alive. Moira, Walter, Diggle and Tommy (who has been there for all four of Oliver's previous court appearances) tag along.

There they witness a moving performance as Oliver describes how his father died on the yacht, leaving Oliver alone in that lifeboat. This convinces everyone, but we know better, don't we?

Unfortunately, Arrow misses an excellent opportunity to bring in an opposing lawyer who will argue that Oliver Queen is, in fact, dead. Oh well. At least we get some opposition in the form of Laurel Lance. As Oliver leaves the courtroom, fully and legally resurrected, he runs into Laurel, her still-anonymous lawyer friend and a sweet girl named Emily.

Laurel is understandably prickly, so Oliver and Tommy move on. Well, Oliver moves on. Tommy and Diggle end up stranded at the courthouse when Oliver steals the car and drives away.

Oliver Tries to Save the Day, Disappoints Detective Lance

Outside of that courthouse, we briefly meet the Bad Man of the Week. This is Martin Sommers, a shipping kingpin accused of taking Chinese Triad bribes and having sweet Emily's father killed. Of course, Laurel is prosecuting this case.

It's not looking good for the law.

But it is looking very good for the Arrow audience! Turns out that Sommers is on Oliver's list, which means we get expository voiceovers and a lot of half-naked, working-out Oliver. Yay!!!

The beauty that is naked Oliver leads to a confrontation between the Arrow and Sommers down at the docks. With a scenic pile of sulfur in the background, the Arrow hangs Sommers upside-down and demands that he plead guilty in court.

Will this work? Of course not.

Instead, Detective Lance has another case involving the vigilante killer he calls the "archer." Um, it's Arrow, Lance! Get with the program!

Anyway, neither the presence of the Arrow or the anger of Lance seems to make much of a positive impact on Martin Sommers. He doesn't back down and in fact goes the opposite way, calling in a Triad assassin -- China White.

This may be a mistake, since China wants to kill sweet Emily. And Laurel Lance.

Oliver Disappoints an Entire Corporation

Having caused trouble for Diggle (because Oliver disappeared again) and Thea (because Oliver thinks drugs are bad), young Mr. Queen accompanies his mother and stepfather to Queen Consolidated, the family business. Moira and Walter want to bring Oliver into the company in order to continue Daddy's legacy.

Back at home, Oliver does what Oliver does best -- takes his clothes off. Only this time, Thea walks in to see all those scars and tattoos. She honestly wants to know what happened to him, but Oliver can't talk about it.

The still-offended Thea takes her big brother to the backyard where there are two marble tombstones, one for Oliver and one for their father. Apparently, Thea used to tell her troubles to the Oliver stone.

Thea thinks the gravestone was more responsive than the actual brother she got back. She's not entirely wrong about this.

Oliver Saves Diggle and Laurel, Disappoints Detective Lance

Oliver listens to Thea's advice about opening up. Kind of. He doesn't talk to his sister or anything but instead goes over to Laurel's apartment with a gallon of ice cream and those sexy, sexy eyes.

What girl could resist ice cream and sexy eyes?

The two former lovers talk parental disappointment and Laurel's dead sister for awhile, but their pleasant night is cut short by a trio of Triad assassins.

They bash down doors! They smash through windows! It's insane!

Although Oliver could probably kill them all with the butter knife he grabs while hurrying Laurel out of the way, he doesn't have to. Diggle bursts in and shoots all of the bad guys except China White. That great assassin looks to actually be about to kill Diggle before Oliver and his knife intervene.

Diggle wrestles free. China makes her escape.

Of course this activity attracts Detective Lance, who would really like to keep his only surviving daughter under police guard at all times. Or at least he would like to keep Laurel away from Oliver. Trouble does seem to follow that boy...

Diggle gets all the credit. But now the bodyguard knows that Oliver can maim assassins with a butter knife from across the room. The secret begins to unravel...

Oliver Saves the Sommers Case, Disappoints Detective Lance

Because China White failed to assassinate Laurel earlier, Martin Sommers believes that the Triad will just "erase" all evidence of their dealings, starting with their contact at the docks. Sommers wants to get out of town...

But the Arrow gets to him first!

The Arrow pins Sommers to a crate and gets a full (if hysterical) confession in seconds. It's fortunate that this is so swift, because China White shows up to finish her work. With just a few words of Chinese (another language Oliver apparently knows), the Arrow and China White engage in an epic battle around a giant cylinder and out into the night.

The Arrow does not get too far, however. Detective Lance steps out from behind a crate, his gun pointed at the Arrow's back. Oh Detective! This guy just beat a small army of machine guns using only arrows! That little pistol isn't going to stop him!

And it doesn't. The Arrow shoots a projectile, grazing and distracting the Detective so Oliver can escape. On the plus side, the projectile turns out to be a recorder with the full audio of Sommers' confession.

Sweet, sad Emily wins!

And later that night, Oliver crosses off a name...

Oliver Disappoints His Father's Legacy

The Arrow may be a hero, but Oliver Queen is still a loser. He cements this opinion by showing up to a Queen Consolidated event drunk and stupid. As soon as Oliver is sure everyone knows he is nothing but a bad legacy, the boy walks away all sad.

Back at home, Oliver continues to make sure everyone will hate him. As he tells his father's memorial stone: "Sometimes, to honor your wishes, I need to dishonor your memory."

And then workers take the stone away.

Oliver Disappoints the Birds, Saves His Father's Corpse

Why does Oliver need to do such things? Well, back on the Island, Oliver had to save his father's corpse from sea birds and drag that body onto rocks for safety. There, the boy discovered...

A completely empty and clean notebook in Dad's pocket? With a weird symbol in it?

Wait, what? Is that the same notebook that is now full of bad men's names? How did the names get there? What is that symbol?

Poor Oliver doesn't have a chance to ponder these questions. As soon as Daddy is buried in stones, Oliver collapses to the ground, an arrow piercing his shoulder.

The culprit? A hooded man -- who distinctly resembles The Arrow -- stands in the distance.

Huh???

Back in present-day Starling City, we at least get a bit of an answer about the symbol. Moira gets into a limo parked on an empty bridge. Speaking to an unseen figure, she insists that Oliver did not know the yacht was sabotaged.

WHAT???

The mystery figure does not respond. He merely holds up something small. Something with that same mystery symbol from the elder Queen's empty notebook.

OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!?!?

Well, at least Arrow doesn't disappoint us viewers when it comes to the tantalizing mysteries!

What did you think of "Honor Thy Father"? Does Diggle suspect the truth? Was that the same notebook on the island? Who was that hooded man? What's with the symbol and the sabotage? What kind of ice cream does Oliver Queen dream about?