Cornell Nerd: Internet Bandwidth Limit Ruins My Social Life

Rising Cornell sophomore Cristina Lara wants her school to abolish its 50GB/month student bandwidth limit. (To use more, students have to pay.) "Internet usage is free in virtually every college and university in the country," Cristina writes in a petition, "and it's also free among all 7 other institutions in the Ivy League." Sounds reasonable.

She continues: "While some students opt to partake in drug-related pastimes, other students stay in and watch movies, talk on Skype or iChat, or even just surf the web." Uh oh. She's not going to make this a Revenge of the Nerds thing, is she?

If Cornell was situated in a major metropolitan area with a vast nightlife that could accomodate the interests of most, if not all, our undergraduates, then many Cornellians wouldn't be so inclined to stay in their rooms and get on the internet. But that's not the case. Cornell's greek life dominates the social scene, making "nightlife" a dividing factor in the community.

Why yes, she is! And she'll throw in an "internet dependency is better than drug dependency" for good measure:

Cornell students in particular face a great deal of stress, and one of our outlets is to "surf the web", read the news, watch movies, and make online purchases. By charging us for our internet usage, the Cornell University administration hinders our ability—and our willingness—to use the internet for recreational purposes.

Since my kneejerk disgust for Cornell "nightlife" narrowly surpasses my kneejerk disgust for hyperbolic internet petitions, I'll be siding with Cristina Lara on this one. Free the internet! Free the nerds! Unlimited bandwidth for the students of Cornell! And a pallet of instant ramen noodles and vitamin D supplements for good measure!

Seriously, stop being such tightwads, Cornell. For $57,000 a year, the future of America should be allowed to download as many high-quality pornos as they want. [Change.org, MetaEzra, IvyGate, image via Shutterstock]