8 Pro Tips for Online Dating

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Online dating is about more than simply meeting someone — it's
about marketing yourself. Without a clear, honest profile, you
might be looking forever. In honor of Valentine’s Day and its
impending dating anxiety, we asked experts for their top tips to
help you succeed online — if not this week, at least soon.

1) Get an outside perspective

Be sure that your profile makes sense to others. "One client
started off her profile by talking all about her job … But this
isn’t LinkedIn," said Laurie Davis, author of "Love at First
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating" (Atria, 2013). There
are tools to help you, ranging from questionnaires to full-on
profile-writing services. At the very least, ask a friend of the
gender and sexual orientation you’re attracted to for feedback.

2) Make lots of contact

Don't pin too much hope on any one person. “If you just sent one
email to one person, the reply might not come for a zillion
reasons that have nothing to do with you,” Davis said. And
according to Sam Yagan, co-founder of
OkCupid and now CEO of Match.com, numbers matter. “Even
random dates help your chances a lot,” said Yagan. However, don't
go overboard. “If you’re writing 30 people … you’re expecting
failure and precipitating failure,” said dating coach Evan Marc
Katz.

Sorry, you don't look 10 years younger than you are, so don't fib
about your age. The same goes for height. And while few sites ask
users to include their weight, optical-illusion photos won't
serve you in the long run. Be honest about your interests, too.
If you’re a bookish urbanite, don’t post a bunch of pictures from
your one whitewater-rafting trip. “You want your potential match
to fall in love with the real you, not the fabricated you,” said
Maria Seredina, founder of the eAmore conference for the online
dating industry. [See also:
3 Scam-Busting Online Dating Tips for Valentines Day ]

4) Take standout photos

You are being judged more harshly on your online image than you
would be in person. Davis advises her clients to wear a color
that will stand out when people are scanning profiles. Yagan
recommends regularly updating pictures, too. [See also:
4 Pro Tips for Better Online Dating Photos ]

5) Go outside your comfort zone

Broadening your search criteria has no downside. Katz met his
wife offline, where there are not pre-set filters. "I never would
have met my wife online." Because of her age, religion, and even
where she lived, she would not have popped up in his narrow
searches, he said. The lesson he learned: Cast a wider net
online.

6) Get to the point

"You want it to take under two minutes to view photos and read
your profile," Davis advised. She said that breaks down to two
paragraphs about you, one paragraph about what you’re looking for
and four to seven photos.

7) Remember what you want

Focus on what will work for you. For example, if you’re not in
search of a long-term relationship, do not pursue someone who is.
You'll hurt people's feelings and waste everyone's time.

8) Tell a story

All our experts agreed: The best way to set your profile apart is
to tell a story. A bunch of adjectives coupled with a list
of activities is not distinctive. “You could take a 70-year-old
woman and a 30-year-old guy and they could sound the same,” said
Katz. Rather than say you like to ski, mention the time you had
to be airlifted out of a storm by a helicopter.