Thursday, February 10, 2011

Sadness

Yes...that's what it is, folks. Sadness. Today I said good bye to my 3 year students and to some of my teachers. Two of my co teachers are leaving to go to other schools as well as 9 others. Most of them I could care less if they leave. Honestly, I haven't spoken two words in greeting to them since the day of my arrival. It isn't because I don't like them but because of the langage barrier.
Anyways, I have been a little emotional with all the changes going on around me. Losing two of my co teachers has me upset and I tend to get a little worked up over the little things.

Last night we had a Farewell dinner. That's when I found out that some of the other friendly faces in the office were leaving as well. I couldn't help it. I started to cry. Not the wailing of a 2 year old who skinned her knee. Nope, just the burning eyes and a quick dash of my hands. I couldn't cry in front of these people. I just couldn't.

Of course my co teacher (who isn't leaving) saw me and commented that I looked sad. I told her I was and that I didn't want them to go.

One of the male teachers who is leaving came up to me and told me he enjoyed working with me. He isn't one of my co teachers but he was a friendly face that I liked seeing every day at work. He recently married in December and his wife is expecting (Honeymoon Baby, as he put it). Of course I said I was very happy for him but he too commented that I did not look well. My co teacher, thinking she was helping, told him that I was very sad that everyone was going. That's when the dam, once again, threatened to break. I was once again forced to quickly wipe at my eyes and smile through the pain. Needless to say he was touched by my open display of emotion and kept going on and on about how much he enjoyed me working at the school and that he hoped I continue to work there.

It is very difficult already living in a new place but to add to it the different culture, language, and just LOOK of the place. I had finally started to get comfortable here. I had started to kind of get into a groove that worked for me. The familiarity of my home and workplace were keeping me anchored while a storm of the unknown swarmed around me.
Now I just lost one of my anchors.

Soon, I hope, I will be moving into a new apt. A bigger one.

Anchor number 2.

This morning my co teacher wrote this to me:

Good morning, Amanda!
It's snowing. I think you miss your hometown so much now.
It's time to say good-bye to you.
I was so happy to teach students with you last year.
And I was always surprised to see your ppt for classes.
I hope you are always healthy and you try your best for our students.
Farewell. Good luck to you!!

Ah man...how quickly these people creeped into my heart and made a home there.