I consider myself a writer first and foremost, but I do have a day job. A pays-the-bills(ish) job. A well-crap-the-kids-gotta-have-health-insurance job. And while in some ways that takes the pressure off of my writing (I’m not going to live in a cardboard box if my latest book doesn’t sell well), there are other pressures that it adds.

For instance, when I’m at work I can’t be blogging. Torture! There are so many good blog ideas that go floating through my head when I’m there, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Okay, okay, so I’m not completely helpless since I can jot them down in my note app on my phone. But sometimes the gibberish I put in there doesn’t make sense three days later, or even three hours later, and I’m left with the agony of a good idea that’s died.

I’ve considered jumping off the cliff of workdom and seeing if I can fly. Quitting my job is scary, but trying to build up a side business while working full time, going to school, and raising three kids is freaking insane. I was thinking about all of this earlier today (at work), and it made me question myself:

Why didn’t I save a nice little chunk of money so I could freelance full time? Well that one’s easy to answer: I have kids, therefore I have no money.

What was I thinking buying a brand new car and burying myself under payments? That one took me a minute, but I realized the car purchase came about six months before I remembered I had dreams once, and that it was time to live them (or at least start to).

Why haven’t I been blogging longer? I didn’t think I had anything to say. And right at first, coming up with blog post ideas seemed impossible. Now that I’ve become more comfortable with it, the floodgates have opened!

Where am I going with all this? Well, stay tuned. I can tell you that I’m close enough to the edge of the cliff that my toes are dangling.

Oh, yes. I do relate. Go with it. Jump off that cliff and spread your wings. That’s what writing’s all about. Your metaphor about wild thoughts planted in straight rows…I relate to that too. You have no idea.