West Ham

Toys R Us on the outside: wacky cartoon castle turrets stuck either side of the main reception on the Dr Martens Stand: a half-arsed attempt to incorporate the club badge into the design. It's Chessington World of Adventures chic. Couldn't be more out of place, because inside Upton Park is a proper, hard, noisy ground, full of character, with fans close to the pitch. Intimidatingly good. Getting away via Tube afterwards, though, can take for ever.

And the away end?

Up to 3,000 seats in the lower tier of the Centenary Stand. Views are ok, given the lack of height, but if you're right at the front you're almost below pitch level. Good if you like footballers' legs. Ticket prices average £35.

To eat

Football's Famous Chicken Balti Pie? Yes, £2.60. The concourse is designed to hold as many as 12 people at a time. But plenty of authentic pie 'n' mash outside the ground.

Where to drink?

Avoid pubs near the ground, though the Miller's Well is cosmopolitan enough. Stay in central London, if that's where you're arriving, before travelling to Upton Park Tube.

Make a weekend of it

The best local attractions Walking and boat tours of the 2012 Olympic sites are available - or visit the revamped Millennium Dome, now The 02, for heavily branded live music, sport, cinema and drinking action.