Fan Fiction - Written by Doug Fowler - Melina Universe

04 * MatchmakersWritten by: Doug Fowler

Some earlier stories showed season 6 if the Olsen twins were split up as considered, and Mary-Kate played Melina, Jesse's Greek god-daughter who in our TVU is never heard of after "Greek Week." Jesse, Becky, Melina, and Nicky and Alex move into Teddy's old house a couple doors down, so they see each other all the time. With Papouli coming earlier, he dies at home in mid-season 7, and not much changes for the Tanners till season 8, though there would still be a few different episodes, and Teddy arrives to find himself friends with both girls, instead of Michelle wondering who to be best friends with.

Then, however, things change. With Jesse and Becky not there to share the load when it comes to running errands, Joey is doing that during the day more, and is also over as Jesse and Becky's planning the radio show at times. Hence, he isn't there to see Mrs. Caruthers and wouldn't have time anyway, so doesn't sub for Michelle and Melina's class. (You'll read who did in this ep.) And, Jesse forms the Monkey puppets earlier, more worried about having more mouths to feed and a house payment.

The biggest change, though, is in this episode, which would take place November of season 8, in place of "Claire and Present Danger," and doesn't have the parts from that episode that remain the same, namely Steph and Gia trying to get Danny and Claire together. And, of course, a piece from what would be the finale at the end; a finale that's quite likely, because the ratings might suffer a bit with Jesse not on quite as much, and so they'd likely know they had to prepare a finale months before they did in our timeline.

Leaving the TV production part aside, though, here is how the family would develop, I think, with Melina there.

"Melina, it's almost time to go home for supper," Danny Tanner said, smiling warmly as he spoke to his niece, the adopted Greek daughter of Jesse and Rebecca Katsopolis, who lived a couple houses away.

"Thanks, Uncle Danny. Can I stay for supper?"

"Don't you want to know what we're having first?"

Michelle looked at her dad, and considered his sometimes odd recipes. "I think she figures you'll never try to cook something in a boot again."

"True; that wasn't one of my better plans, was it?" He gazed at Michelle, nearly eight and the youngest of his three girls. She was in third grade, Stephanie in seventh, and D.J. in twelfth. "You know, you seem to get older every time I look at you."

"Cool. Keep looking at me, maybe I can drive after supper."

"Oh my, I guess I better go see who's at the door." He hated to see his girls grow up. He left the kitchen, and entered the living room as Stephanie opened the door for Jesse, Becky, and their nearly three-year-old twins, Nicky and Alex. "Hey, I thought I heard someone on the stoop. How come you didn't use your keys, Jess?"

Jesse sauntered in and said, "Simple. Joey's fishing mine and Becky's out of a heating grate." Joey Gladstone was Danny's best friend from college. Jesse and Joey had moved into the Tanner home over seven years ago to help Danny raise his girls after their mom, his big sister Pam, died. Joey still lived in the attic apartment.

"We're sorry, Daddy," Nicky said. Alex copied.

"He knows," Becky comforted them. "You said it before he even put you in timeout; you must be improving. They really are good kids, though," she told Danny.

"I know. Good thing you guys are in control, I'd hate to see Melina have to put them in timeout the way D.J. had to do when Michelle was little," Danny concurred, not mentioning that D.J. had also had to get quite tough at various times a couple years ago, and again the following spring, as well, when Michelle was 5.5 and 6. Michelle was generally very good, but Danny's laxness meant that psychologically, she was D.J. as the ultimate authority over her. She simply obeyed Danny very well so as not to have to obey the much tougher D.J. since about a year and a half ago.

"Sure," Danny said. "I have a feeling Jesse's going to ask if they can all stay anyway now." As he said this, Joey entered with the keys. "Hey, Joey. I think we'd better just order takeout and get a large family pack. Or better yet, just have the 49ers make us a post-game spread."

After dinner, Michelle and Melina were discussing Stephanie and Gia in Michelle's room. "Steph says she never liked Kimmy much. She's helped make sure I don't mind Gia as much. I just wish Gia wouldn't treat me like I'm Nicky and Alex' age."

"I know. I remember when Stephanie was helping her to stop smoking. Gia told you to sing Barney songs to her if she ever lit up again." Both girls went, "Barney, ewwww!"

"Hey, what do you suppose they're talking about now?" Michelle asked.

"Probably boys. Let's listen in." Melina ran down and got two glasses, and each girl walked across the hall to listen in at the closed door.

"That would be so cool, then we could be sisters," Gia said. As the girls listened, they realized Gia and Stephanie were talking about setting up Danny and gia's single mother, Claire.

"A sister who wants me to sing Barney," Michelle said lowly, scrunching her face. They carried the glasses into her room, then once there went, "ewwwww" again.

Melina said it might not be that bad. "You'd still have your own room. We could stay here all the time, while they hang out there, and D.J. and Kimmy hang out together."

"Melina, I don't mind Gia that much, if she's in another room. But, Kimmy?" Michelle shook her head. "She should have been a student in our class that time all the teachers were sick, not trying to teach it herself."

Melina agreed. "That was freaky. She just sent her resume in, not thinking about what she had to do to be a teacher. And they were so desperate, they just called the name on it and catch on for a couple hours." She shook her head. "Kimmy really thought 'Black Beauty' was about a person?!"

"She doesn't read anything. My favorite was when we went to take a bathroom break as a class, and Derek had the idea of calling the water in the drinking fountain 'dihydrogen oxide.'" The girls laughed at the memory; Derek had whispered that it would happen, and soon it had spread through the class at the fountain, with Kimmy totally unaware. "He said there was some in the drinking fountain, and Kimmy ran to the phone and called D.J. in the high school for help. She thought H2O was some poison."

Melina concurred. "Joey could have taught, but he was with my dad and his new band when Mrs. Caruthers came looking for teachers. At least D.J. got to teach the class since she was a National Honor Society student." The National Honor students could teach someone's class in the high school for a day, as per custom, with the teacher there to observe, but they made a special case for D.J. here.

"Right. Boy, if my dad and Claire got married, D.J. would have to work twice as hard to keep Gia in line as she ever did me."

Melina and Michelle thought for a second, till Melina said, "I know what we need. Someone else for your dad to date."

"Yeah," Michelle said excitedly. Curious, she asked, "Like who?"

"What's wrong with Vicki?'

Michelle rubbed her chin. Vicki and Danny had split up almost a year ago when Vicki took a job as a CNN anchor in New York. "Nothing, I guess. How do we do it? We can't call long distance to New York."

It took quite a bit of calling before they realized they couldn't just call a news anchor at CNN without incurring long distance charges. Then, Michelle recalled that their dad might still have Vicki's cell phone number. The girls snuck into his room one evening and found it in a small, old phone book.

"What are you two doing?" D.J. inquired, suddenly appearing behind them with her hands on her hips.

"Oh...just looking," Michelle said.

"We wanted to call Vicki," Melina explained. "So we can hook her up with Uncle Danny, instead of Claire."

D.J. smiled and led the girls out of Danny's room and into Michelle's, where she sat between them on Michelle's bed. "Is there something you don't like about her?" she asked as they walked there. "If there is, you need to tell Dad; you know he'll never let anyone into our family who we're not all comfortable with. He's said that with Vicki, with Cindy before, with everyone."

Michelle outlined her concerns. "Not only does Gia treat me like a baby, I don't want you to be too busy watching her. She can really be a rebel. I know how I made you feel with how bad I was sometimes," she acknowledged solemnly, embarrassed.

"I know, you feel bad about that," D.J. said, hugging her and brightening her mood. "But, Gia would have to live under Dad's rules if she were to become part of the family. He would enforce them, just like with Steph and I; he wouldn't have the problem seeing her grow up without a mom that he did with you. And if Gia fought it bad, anything with her mom would be off anyway. They just had their first date. I wouldn't be too worried."

"Can we call and ask, though? Please?" Melina begged.

D.J. relented. "A call to a cell would be long distance, anyway. But, come into my room. I'll accept the charges - just this once!" she emphasized, with both girls agreeing. She didn't think Vicki would want to deal with that part of her past, and the girls would learn that quickly. However, she wanted them to see that for themselves.

"Hey, squirts," Kimmy said as D.J. and the younger girls entered D.J.'s bedroom. "D.J. said she thought she saw you snooping. What were you looking for, the missing eighteen minutes of the Watergate tapes?"

D.J. gave her a strange look. "Kimmy, it was missing on one tape because it was erased."

"Oh. I thought someone cut the tapes up and just took a minute or two out here or there."

"The tapes would be ruined," Melina said. "I'm just eight, and even I know that."

Michelle reminded her, "She's the same person who tried to teach us long division could only be done by tall people. She didn't know anything about it."

"Speak for yourself, squirt. I'm sure Michael Jordan can do long division better than I can, for instance." Kimmy excused herself, as she was about to head home.

D.J. picked up her phone. "I'll make the call, but don't get your hopes up. I loved Vicki, too, she just had other dreams." She began dialing the number that the girls had found.

"Tell her how Dad rearranged everything when she left. He was sad for weeks," Michelle said before D.J. shushed her.

"Hi, Vicki? It's D.J. Tanner....Oh, fine, everyone's okay here. Michelle and Melina just wanted to try and play matchmaker, you know how girls can get sometimes."

Vicki smiled on the other end. "I know. You called at a good time, I was just getting ready for bed. I hope Danny's not too broken up yet over my decision a year ago."

D.J. tried to think of what to say. "Well..." She looked at the girls. "He did try to rearrange everything in the house for a few weeks, especially once Christmas was over."

"Why don't you say he cried a lot?" Michelle whispered, putting her hands over the phone.

"Because it's not worth it if she doesn't hear the truth," D.J. whispered. "This isn't just Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky back when they had a big fight, over a year before they got married. Vicki's thousands of miles away," D.J. explained. Holding the phone up to her ear again, she said, "I think the girls really wanted you to be our mother. Plus, well, we never really got a chance to say goodbye." She figured that would help. Vicki had just seen Danny long enough to say she'd taken a job, then flown off again after they talked to the girls on the phone, not wanting to look back.

Vicki mulled it over. It had been a very busy time, and she supposed seeing them again once wouldn't hurt. "Tell you what; I'm flying to interview someone in a few days, I can take a couple extra days and come out to see you on the weekend," she promised.

Once D.J. hung up the phone, Michelle complained, "We don't want her to come just to say goodbye."

"That might have been the key to getting her to come at all," D.J. explained. "It was rough just saying goodbye over the phone. I know you wanted me to say more, but this is the way we're going to play it."

D.J. gave both a squeeze. "Good thing I have that voice, or your class would have been a mess after Kimmy tried to teach it a couple hours."

Michelle and Melina were both grateful. "I told the other kids when you're in charge, you mean business. When Kimmy's in charge, she means dumbness," Melina joked.

A few nights later, Danny and Claire went out to the Smash Club. Instead of coming out in a purple wig and making jokes about being a rebel, like she might have otherwise, Michelle was anxiously waiting for Vicki to show up. They'd talked on the phone, and she knew Vicki was supposed to be here.

She and Melina didn't want her to see Danny with Claire, though. Stephanie sensed there was a problem, and talked to Michelle about it, explained she would always be loved, and that Stephanie would always value her as a sister. She would never try to squeeze her out of the picture. It wasn't as much of a worry as it could have been if Melina hadn't been there, but it was still a concern for Michelle.

"Why do you keep watching the door, anyway," Stephanie asked, once she'd gotten Michelle to understand. She suddenly noticed D.J. and Vicki entering. "Oh, that's why. Michelle, how did you know Vicki was coming?"

Michelle explained that they'd called her. "We wanted it to be a surprise," Melina explained.

"Oh, big surprise, all right, now Vicki's going to see Dad with Gia's mom."

"That's what we were afraid of," Melina stated.

Vicki walked over to the table and said, "Hi," in a warm, reserved voice.

"Huh? I mean, hi," Danny said nervously, standing up while his napkin remained tucked into his pants. "Vicki, what a surprise. Uh, this is Claire, and Claire, this is Vicki. Vicki was my fiancÚ...that is, I don't feel anything toward her now...but maybe I do. I mean, well, let's start the other way, shall we. Vicki, this is Claire, I'm out with her tonight because, well...you know, when a man and woman...not that I wouldn't take you back...but not that I would," he said, turning back to Claire.

Kimmy looked at D.J. from where she was taking an order. "I thought double dating meant two guys with two girls."

Danny was still stumbling over his words as Stephanie and the youngest girls approached. Gia came, too - Stephanie had said she wanted to talk to Michelle alone, so Gia went to the bathroom then. D.J. came over, too.

"Need some help sorting things out?" D.J. asked.

"Yes, please," Danny said anxiously.

"Okay, Michelle and Melina wanted to call Vicki because Michelle felt bummed out about you dating Gia's mom."

"We've solved that part," Stephanie noted.

"Okay, good. Vicki came because she wanted to see you one last time, and say goodbye to us, probably."

Melina interrupted D.J.. "Michelle had the idea, but I suggested Vicki. And, we don't want her to say 'godobye,' we want her to marry Uncle Danny."

Vicki laughed. "Girls, I know my departure was kind of hasty. But, I had a new job, my dream job, and I was so excited." She exhaled deeply. "It's not that we stopped loving...I mean liking each other," she said hastily, trying to ignore that small thing she still had for Danny. She'd pushed it far into the back of her mind.

"Girls, Vicki left to pursue her dreams. It's just like I've always told each of you, you should feel free to climb whatever mountains you want," Danny said. "Look, why don't we set a date for tomorrow at our house...I mean, not a date, but it'll be on a date...look, just come over tomorrow, and we can have a proper sendoff...I mean, assuming you still want to be a CNN anchor in New York. Not that you have to, Vicki, but..."

Vicki showed up at the Tanner home a short while later, just to see if they were back yet, considering saying goodbye that night, unsure if she wanted to look back anymore.

Joey let her in. "Hey, I was out doing some comedy early, I heard you were back in town," he said. "Danny and the others aren't back yet."

"Oh, that's okay; it's giving me some time to think." She looked at her watch. "You had a really early show."

"Well, it's something I always wanted to do."

Vicki understood completely, thinking of how she'd always wanted to be a news anchor. And yet, being here, it reminded her of something that she wondered about, if maybe something was missing, despite her having her dream job. She just didn't want to be torn away from her other dream. "What was it?" she asked Joey as they sat.

"Well, I'm sure you remember Walter Lantz passed away in March."

Not being into cartoons, Vicki was unsure of who that was, so she pretended that it was on the tip of her tongue. "I should know that name, I know, but it's not coming to me now. Was he the head of some country?"

"He made Woody Woodpecker," Joey said, as if it should have been obvious. "See, they were doing this tribute to some of the more zany characters in cartoons, like Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny. And, I got to do the voices for some of them. Just being part of that tribute with a few other local comedians was a huge thing."

"Okay," Vicki said, having forgotten how zany Joey himself seemed at times when she was in San Francisco.

"It was really something," Joey continued. "I mean, Danny and Becky, they have their show, and Jesse and I do our radio show. But, do you remember who the deejay was when you first heard your favorite song?" She didn't. "Of course not. Now, I like the fact I have a job, but you know what's really important? It's nights like tonight, doing that show for the little kids, and thinking, 'Some of these kids will go away and always remember that bird.' Because he made them laugh. If Walter Lantz had just been a regular talk show host or disc jockey, nobody would remember him. But he left something for everyone to remember - he wasn't just introducing the entertainment, he was the entertainment. Everyone remembers that laugh." Joey imitated it as he rose, with her following. He was obvious to the thoughts turning in Vicki's mind. "He left behind a real legacy. Woody Woodpecker was almost like a child, something he had that grew up and became someone really great. He could really be proud. And, that's why I feel proud being able to do tributes like that, just like I do helping Danny out. Well, I need to go work on some routines, I'll tell them you were here."

"Okay, thanks," Vicki said absently as she left.

The following afternoon, Michelle, and Melina were playing a board game in the living room, while Danny and Becky went over parts for Monday's show. Michelle looked up to Danny. "You're sure she's not coming back to stay."

"Pretty sure. I guess I never really thought about how hard it was on you - I figured it wasn't too bad because she was almost never here, that's the problem with long distance relationships."

Michelle thought for a moment. "Actually, it wasn't that hard. But, it was a nice thought."

Danny patted her on the head as he rose with the ringing of the doorbell. "Well, you're right, it was a nice thought. And, now we'll get to have a real farewell for her today."

When D.J. opened the door for Vicki, though, Danny was shocked when she said, "I'm taking the job in the San Francisco bureau." She could tell Danny was stunned. "That is, if you're still interested," she said with mild concern.

"Vicki...of course," Danny said, jogging over to her. "But, is this what you really want? I mean, you won't be the head anchor like you were." It was just what she wanted. "But, I don't understand, what changed your mind?"

She spoke as though it seemed strange to her, too, as she entered the room. "Believe it or not...a woodpecker."

"Wouldn't you know it?' Melina asked. "We go through all this trouble, and a bird helps her."

"I just kept thinking about something Joey said, about how nobody remembers the person who interviewed the guests, or played the favorite song."

Vicki continued. "They remember the entertainment itself. And, I got to wondering, who remembers that I do the news? Isn't the news itself what's important? I mean, sure, I'm on camera in front of millions of viewers, but, I could be part of molding something special, too, like Walter Lantz did. Something that will last after I'm gone."

"So, you're going to start writing cartoons?' Michelle asked.

"Even better," Vicki said happily as Stephanie and Gia entered from the kitchen. "How would you like it if Danny and I got back together?"

"That would be super!" Michelle and Stephanie declared simultaneously.

Melina looked at Gia. "You're not disappointed?"

After she, Stephanie, and Vicki hugged, Michelle turned to her cousin. "Gia might be glad she won't have to follow as many rules."

"No. I'm really happy for your family," Gia said, clearly a little deflated. "I guess I just need to learn to be happy for my best friend. She's helped me to have a much better attitude about everything else."

Vicki was told by Danny what Stephanie and Gia had discussed. "Gia, honey, I know it's rough," Vicki told her, walking over and putting an arm around her. "But, best friends almost always dream, at one time or another, about becoming siblings, and sometimes the best thing to do is to stay apart. One of my best friends had a sister who roomed with her friend at college. They couldn't stand living with each other after a while. Eventually, the only way to keep their friendship intact was for her to sleep on a sleeping bag in the hall some nights, and use another girl's bathroom."

Gia brightened slightly. "Well, I guess your snoring would annoy me a little, Steph. And, though you've done it all to help me, you do seem a bit bossy at times."

"It's not that loud, is it?" Stephanie said defensively.

"Actually, it is," Michelle agreed.

"See what I mean?" Vicki said as they all laughed. "You have it best when you don't feel like you're forced to spend every waking moment together."

"She's right," Stephanie said as Gia agreed. Stephanie hugged her and said, "You'll make a great mom, Vicki."

"Yeah, she found a way to get Gia and I to agree on something," Michelle said.

"Well, let's take it kind of slow for a while yet, till we make sure," Danny hedged. Looking into Vicki's eyes, he said, "I can tell we've got a great chance, though."

Epilogue - June of the next year:

Danny grinned broadly, thinking of his proposal to Vicki on Valentine's Day. As he stood at the altar with Jesse and Joey - his two best men - he was amazed that all that excitement had come back in just three months. Maybe he was rushing things a tad, but they were anxious to begin their lives together.

Nicky and Alex looked so cute as the ring bearers - luckily they weren't growling as they had earlier, thinking they were supposed to be "ring bears." Michelle and Melina had both thought eight was a tad old to be flower girls, but Danny liked to keep thinking of his princess as being really young. And, eight wasn't too old to him. Still, Vicki had convinced him to let them be bridesmaids, not flower girls.

Just like Pam would do, keeping me from going overboard, he said to himself, wiping away a tear as he thought of her. The others had all been right, as they discussed it earlier. Pam would be extremely happy for him. It was the kind of situation they'd hoped for when they agreed that if one died, the other would be free to date and remarry.

She'd done it for Stephanie and Michelle, too, shortly before Michelle's riding contest. Michelle was teasing Stephanie about her dry lips, and Vicki had gotten Stephanie to think and not be too upset about it. Of course, Stephanie had instead teased about Michelle and Teddy kissing, but at least they'd all laughed about it together then. And, Andrew had kissed Stephanie then, because Michelle had said Stephanie liked him. Yes, Stephanie and Michelle were starting to grow a lot closer because of Vicki's work with them.

That evening, the newlyweds and their girls, Jesse and Becky and their kids, and Joey entered the Tanner home, still basking in the glow of a fabulous wedding reception. "I'm proud of you for holding yourself to one piece of cake," Vicki kidded Michelle.

"Well, D.J.'s boyfriend Steve got a last minute invitation," she explained. Steve had taken D.J. to her prom. "So, he'd brought a spare cake along, and we shared it."

"The crazy part is, she might be serious, the way Steve eats." Danny said.

Steve and Kimmy entered, having arrived in their own cars. "Hey, Deej," Steve said as he and D.J. embraced. "I'm really happy for you."

"Me, too," Kimmy said, holding the bouquet. "I just hope that superstition of the person catching the bouquet marrying the person catching the garter isn't too real. I don't want to have to wait for little Alex to grow up to get married."

"Me neither," Alex said, holding his nose.

Nicky copied. "I want a wife whose feet don't smell."

Michelle climbed into Vicki's lap as she sat on the couch. "It's nice to finally have someone like you," she said, knowing she'd have trouble calling her "Mom" for a while. She loved the feeling of being able to curl up in the lap of a mother, though. When she was younger and scared, or a few times when D.J. had just severely scolded her, she knew she could expect D.J. to cuddle her and comfort her, showing that love. However, somehow she'd sensed that while D.J. loved her dearly, it wasn't quite as deep as a mother's love, though had D.J. been dedicated to being a mom very early and stayed that way, she would have felt even closer to D.J..

Vicki understood. "Take all the time you need, Dear. It'll be that much more special when I hear 'Mom' for the first time. I know it was hard for Melina with your Aunt Becky at first."

"You'll get used to it, Michelle. It really is special," Melina confirmed.

"I would say it's great to be a family again. But, we've always had one; because we've already had the same great love and compassion and togetherness. Now, just like when Melina came, we just keep adding people. Because we don't divide our love; we multiply it," Danny finished happily.

In "Big Shoes To Fill," I posited how "To Joey, With Love" would have realistically gone, with Michelle in the same class all day, Joey knowing normally that the problem warranted sitting in the hall for a few minutes or sentences to write (thus a Principal's Assistant, Missy), and so on. The start of this story refers to that story, too.

But, the other part of that episode has a unique what-if, about something that could have changed. Danny was almost the guitarist for Hot Daddy and the Monkey Puppets. So, what if Viper has an accident and is in the hospital for a day or two? How would the Tanners react with Danny on guitar, a regular...

Johnny B. Clean

"Are you sure you don't mean your dad was banned, Deej?"

"No..I mean he is in a...wait a minute." D.J. Tanner, a high school senior, was quite flustered at the moment. She turned away from her from her best friend, Kimmy gibbler, and back to Danny Tanner, her dad. She was hearing about the events of the day. She and nearly thirteen-year-old Stephanie had just arrived home, with Kimmy stopping by her house for a moment before joining them. They were a few minutes later than Danny's youngest, Michelle, who was almost eight. "Now, what's this about Michelle?"

"There was just a mild disagreement between her and Joey, who was subbing in school for her today, but they had it resolved before lunch, with the help of the Principal's Assistant mediating. I know, you tend to worry a little before I put off disciplining her myself till she was almost four, and I got really inconsistent for a while later. But, I promise you there's no problem." He said she'd gone upstairs to deposit her books, and might start on a little homework, he wasn't sure.

Joey was comedian Joey Gladstone, who had subbed as a teacher when nobody else was available. He was normally filled with comedy. Michelle had expected 'roll on the floor laughing' fun, but once things were settled down, he was able to show the class that learning could be fun without constant comedy, such as with the egg in the jar trick. That had really fascinated everyone, and she agreed, it was fun to learn that stuff.

Joey and Jesse had moved in to help Danny raise his girls when their mother, Pam, died. Jesse had been a wild rock and roller - that was so cool to the older girls - and the exact opposite of clean freak Danny Tanner. Jesse had calmed down quite a bit since that time seven years earlier; he now had a wife, Rebecca Donaldson, and twin boys, nearly three-year-old Nick and Alex. However, he had just formed a new band, after the old one kicked him off.