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Those among you who think that Google is nothing more than a force for international evil masquerading as an internet ad-punting outfit will have to think again. We have just received news that messrs Brin and Page are using their vast wealth not to enslave millions to the Google brand, but rather to protect mankind from rampaging 50m insects.

Quite what kind of terrifying, space-based weapon Google used to blow this monstrous insect back from whence it came is a complete mystery, but suffice it to say we can all sleep sounder in our beds tonight safe in the knowledge that the search engine monolith is ready to strike with massive force against any threat to its customer base. ®

Bootnote

*Yes, yes: we know it's not actually an earwig, and thanks to all those entomologists who wrote in to point out our mistake. Thanks too to Hayden Clark who alerted us as to the giant insect's destruction.