Tag Archives: tea party

It’s Throwback Thursday Friday here at Wonkette, so let’s check in on one of our favorite scandal-not-scandals of last year, IRSgate. In the latest news, it turns out that the special inspector guy in charge of investigating the IRS, the guy whose report started this whole media circus, is a TOTAL PARTISAN HACK WHAT SUCKS AT HIS JERB:
Read more on More Proof That IRSgate Was F***ing Stupid…

Hey, what’s former Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Hahaha) doing with all his free time now that he is no longer an esteemed member of Congress? If we had to guess, it would be gently sobbing while beating off to a montage of Ronald Reagan YouTube videos, barely visible through the shame-tears. Are we right, Wall Street Journal?
Read more on Wall Street’s Newest Tool: Eric Cantor…

ATTENTION, LOVERS OF FREEDOM!
We assume we’ll be seeing all of you Real Americans Saturday at noon. What’s that? You have plans to spend your Labor Day weekend eating warm potato salad by the lake, maybe burning some lawn clippings in defiance of local ordinances? To that we say NO. We do not give one good goddamn about your pre-marinated grillin’ steaks or your non-refundable cabin rental. Your presence is required elsewhere.
Read more on Clip And Save: Your Patriot Bingo Card!…

The Tea Party of Louisiana does not like Common Core, not one darn bit! And on Monday, it issued a deeply disappointed and angry denunciation of Sen. David Vitter for supporting the standards, since the tea partiers had “always thought of Senator Vitter as a friend of Liberty,” but his support for Common Core gives them a sad. All pretty standard Tea Party stuff, until you get to their list of links at the end, so you could educate yourself on just how terrible this Common Core stuff is. The first item on the list is now gone from the Tea Party website, but happily, RightWingWatch grabbed a screenshot:
Read more on Louisiana Tea Party Pretty Sure Common Core Makes Kids Gay, Since Fake News Site Said So…

In times of civil unrest and racial tension and cops killing unarmed black teenagers, the number one expert you want to explain it to you is wingnut radio gum-flapper Laura Ingraham. That’s just obvious, at least if you are a Fox & Friends bobblehead:
Read more on Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug…

Because it has been at least 24 whole hours since some Republican doofus insisted that Republicans do NOT want to talk about impeaching the president, no seriously, they do NOT want to talk about it, sheesh, stop making them talk about it all the time, no one ever said the “I-word,” and really, it is Obama who wants to talk about it all the time, like he wants to be impeached or something, here’s our hero Ted Yoho, a large-animal veterinarian turned Florida congressman, to not talk about that some more:
Read more on Rep. Ted Yoho Awful Sad Obama Keeps Impeaching Himself…

You guys, did you see this ginormous article investigative report dealio about Move America Forward, the “support the troops” group that scammed everyone, including your angry uncle, into giving them a kazillion dollars for care packages that were going to go to the troops but actually went fuck if we know where? Yes, yes, we know the article appeared yesterday, but that thing was like one million words long and also too we had to keep starting over because we were laughing so hard.
Read more on Fine, Let’s Talk About This Awful Scammy ‘Charity,’ ‘Pretend To Help The Troops’…

Remember that time waaaaay back in June when Mississippi Republicans had a Senate primary race, and the teabagger favorite, state Sen. Chris McDaniel — who sure is an interesting fella with really nice, totally-not-racist supporters — lost to sitting Sen. Thad Cochran, and everyone said, “Yup, that’s what we thought would happen,” and moved on with their lives?
Read more on Sore Loserman Chris McDaniel Demands Mississippi GOP Give Him Senate Seat, Because…

House Republicans have ironed out an immigration bill that just might be cruel enough to appease the Tea Party, which is all that matters, because it would give House members the ability to go home on vacation and say that they at least voted to solve the border mess. It doesn’t mean that anything will actually be solved if it does pass today, since in adding more Mean to make the bill palatable to wingnuts, the House has made the thing utterly toxic to the Senate. But the main thing is that the House will (maybe) be able to say it Did Something, so shut up, Obama.
Read more on Newest Version Of GOP Immigration Harsher But Still Doesn’t Deport Obama, Passage Iffy…

Remember Operation American Spring? Back in May a couple hundred of them arrived in Washington, vowing to maintain a daily protest until Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi were forced to abandon their offices. They were mighty, even if they didn’t quite make the 10 million to 30 million attendance mark they’d predicted. But they did at least get Obama to resign, didn’t they? Read more on God-Appointed Sheriff Lady Will Bring Down This Government Her Own Self…

We’ve said it before: there’s no politics dirtier than small-town politics. More massively evil, more expensive, sure, but for pure spite and awfulness it’s pretty hard to beat small-town fights, at least outside of a university English department. Which brings us to the saga of Police Chief Timothy Kelemen of the town of Campbell, Wisconsin, who was charged Thursday with creating fake online accounts for Obamacare and gay porn in the name of a local Tea Party leader he’d been feuding with since last August. Needless to say, this was very, very bad and we would never ever recommend such behavior AT ALL, not ever. Read more on Wisconsin Police Chief Takes Trolling Of Local Tea Party Leader To New, Harassy Levels…

We stayed up late last night just to make sure we could maximize our intake of sweet Tea Party tears over Chris McDaniel losing the GOP primary to incumbent Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran. McDaniel had proved to be a reliable source of ridiculous, but even with that we will not be sorry to see him go, especially because this entire thing made us feel like we had to defend Thad Cochran, which made us feel like we needed to take a Silkwood shower. We know that Cochran’s victory means that he cruises to victory in November, but right now we’re just going to laugh ourselves silly listening to all the half-angry/half-sad trombone noises coming from the Tea Party friends of McDaniel.
Read more on Chris McDaniel Pretty Sure Zombie Ronald Reagan Doesn’t Think Thad Cochran Won…

So we guess the Idaho state GOP convention was held last weekend, and we are SO PISSED that Dok Zoom didn’t go there on a fact-finding mission, because the entire thing sounds like an amazeballs shitshow. Near as we can figure, nothing got done, and no one got elected, there may or may not actually be any delegates left, and regular old Republicans and Tea Party Republicans are perhaps going to light each other on fire. Congrats at being the very best at sucking at participatory democracy, Idaho GOP!
Read more on Idaho GOP Convention Pretty Much A Glorified Slap Fight, Really…

Have you guys heard about our new favorite — and by “favorite” we mean WHAT THE HELL, DUDE — state legislature candidate? Meet Scott Esk, a Republican running for office in Oklahoma. Scott would be just your run-of-the-mill semi-ginger who is hella mad about his receding hairline except for this one little standout fact: he’s pretty cool with stoning the gays. As in literally stoning the gays. As in to death. How is Scott Esk even possible?
Read more on Here Is Your Fun New Oklahoma GOP Candidate Who Would Like To Murder The Gays With Rocks…

We’ve been putting off writing about this all night, not because we don’t know what to say, but because we wanted to let the anticipation build, to feel a thrill up our leg, to see starbursts, and savor that first perfect moment when we type these words: HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR LOST HIS FUCKING PRIMARY TO A TEA PARTIER OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.
Read more on House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter…

It’s Primary Day in Mississippi, time to see whether the Republican candidate for Senate will be Aging Conservadick Thad Cochran, or Tea Party/Neo-Confederate Superdick Chris McDaniel. Will it be the Establishement or the Tea Party? The maybe-adulterer or the probable-ratfucker? We are going to try not to get too worked up over this one, but it sure has been fun to watch the R’s in Mississippi tear themselves to pieces over it. Read more on Mississippi Republicans Choose Between Thad Cochran Or The Other A**hole…

Let’s say you’re a complete unknown in Arizona who failed to win as a write-in Tea Party candidate for Congress in 2012, and then lost a campaign for Phoenix City Council in 2013. Maybe you’d have better luck with some name recognition? So former nobody Scott Fistler legally changed his name to “Cesar Chavez” and is now running as a Democrat to replace retiring congressman Ed Pastor. Can’t possibly go wrong, because your Latino voters are going to see the name of the famous guy on there and figure that after dying in 1993, the activist and civil rights leader has rested up and deserves a seat in Congress.
We do have to at least agree that this much of Fistler/Chavez’s story sounds plausible: Fistler’s name change petition, filed last November, said plaintively, “I have experienced many hardships because of my name[.]” No doubt. Read more on Idiot Republican Changes Name, Seems Pretty Sure Latino Voters Don’t Know Cesar Chavez Is Dead…

Ralph Hall, the 91-year-old World War II fighter pilot who has represented Texas’s 4th District since 1980, lost his primary to a Tea Partier last night. Combined with the planned retirement of Michigan’s John Dingell (D-Ohmigod So Old), Hall’s defeat means that the next Congress will have zero World War II veterans, unless Zombie Douglas MacArthur wins his write-in challenge against Debbie Wasserman Schultz. However, Hall did become the only House incumbent to lose his fight to a Tea Party-backed candidate, so even though Hall had the NRA’s endorsement, the rabid ferrets at Still Dead Breitbart’s Cyber Screech-a-torium are likely to view this as FREEDOM!!!1! on the march. Read more on Tea Party Gets Primary Scalp: Ralph Hall, Last Really Really Really Really Old Man In Congress…

In the closest thing to a “Super Tuesday” in this off-year election, a whole bunch of Tea Party candidates did worse than expected against “mainstream” Republicans who had better funding and who all sound like teabaggers now anyway. The biggest win of the night was less of a surprise now than it might have been a couple months back: Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Lord Terrapin” McConnell easily won his Kentucky Senate primary against Louisville businessman and chicken-boxing enthusiast Matt “B’kaww!” Bevin. Looks like institutional money and power are everything they’re cracked up to be. McConnell will face Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes in November, and in his victory speech charmingly suggested that she is not a real Kentucky candidate, but a big Fakey McFakerton who will cram Obamacare down your throat, warning, “The people who handpicked my opponent are not on your side.” And so the Charm Offensive begins. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(…

Don’t throw out those tricorn hats quite yet, people. The Tea Party is on the comeback trail. This is good news for America, as our strategic snark reserve might otherwise have fallen to historic lows this campaign cycle.
In what is either a sign of a conservative wave this fall or an indication that Republican voters in Nebraska have chocolate pudding where their brain stems should be, Tea Party favorite Ben Sasse won Tuesday’s primary for the GOP nomination for Senate. He now moves on to the general election, where he will be favored over the Democratic nominee David Domina. Sanity, running as an independent, is polling a distant third.
We have met Ben Sasse before, back when he announced he wants to move the U.S. Capitol to Nebraska so all those decadent politicians can spend their time around decent, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, churchgoing, god-fearing people. People like Ben Sasse, with his Nebraska upbringing and his Ivy League degrees from Harvard and Yale and his years spent in Washington working in the Dubya administration. You know, the common clay. Read more on This Nice Nebraska Tea Party Fella Is Your New Ted Cruz, America…

The Supreme Court recently decreed that the only kind of political corruption that exists — indeed, the only kind of political corruption that could possibly exist — is quid pro quo bribery. Did everyone hear that, are we all clear on the rules? You can do a whole mess of things to buy influence over politics, but you cannot just give someone money and say, “Here is money, now go do a thing in politics,” and you also cannot just say, “I will do a thing in politics in exchange for gobs and gobs of filthy lucre.”
Neither of those things is okay to say. Everyone got that? Have we all read the “No Bribes Allowed” handbook? Did everyone sign the form acknowledging your receipt and comprehension of the “No Bribes Allowed” handbook?
What’s that, Mark Fisher, Tea Party candidate for governor in Massachusetts? You ALLEGEDLY asked for $1 million in exchange for doing a politics thing? Oh dear, that is very bad. Didn’t you read the handbook? We will blockquote the Boston Globe at you now. Read more on Massachusetts Tea Partier Demands Republican Nomination For Gov Or $1 Million, Whichever You’d Prefer…