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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

You Choose to Go With the Princess

The Princess looks at you with her large blue eyes. "Please," she begs, "Don't be foolish. Come with me away from this cave and I shall be your bride. I will do things for you that you haven't even imagined it's possible for two people to do with each other. And I know how twisted your imagination is."

Well, you don't need more prodding than that. You jump on her horse and ride with her off to her distant palace where you quickly marry her and take her to bed. It's fantastic. Why did you even bother with this quest when there's stuff like this that you could be doing? All those troll beatings and sword wounds seem so unnecessary now that you can have sex with a beautiful Princess all the time. You lie in bed, pleased with your decision to go with her and not find the dragon in his cave.

Of course, the dragon flew out and torched a village full of thatched roof cottages a few miles away, killing hundreds. You probably should have finished him off, since, you know, that was the quest we gave you and everything. Still, you probably didn't know any of the people who were burninated, and you're pretty damn happy right now. It's hard to complain when you're married to gorgeous royalty.