indipendence day

In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA (twice!) and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of revocation of your independence, effective today.Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd (America's Election Day recently) will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".