Trending on FT

Posts from 22nd April 2002

22Apr 02

Ahhh goth pubs. As one of the new goths I can say I did not order Snakebite and Black as it is gross, and word on the (dark and dismal, obv) STREETS is that Guinness and Black isn’t a goth drink anyway due to black + black = black– as any fule know. The Intrepid Fox always tempts me after a quick game of Dance Dance Revolution but I’ve never managed to make it in there sadly. What I like even more are the CHAIN GOTH PUBS, one particularly close to my heart North of Oxford Street where illicit deals were done in a place where we could guarantee none of our friends would come in and find us. Of course it was dark, the music was tolerable volumed indie/dance and there were special offers on BLUD COLOURED DRINXoR. The menus had skulls on them. But still, there were also plenty of nooks. Nooks make or break a boozer IMHO.

I think I do not really like The Head. I have lost my voice and I think it is due to having to shout loudly over its loud dance music ways. Return to quiet pubs. Num num. Also no nooks. And too much football. And no good alcopops. GRR! It’s rub!

Well coo crikey here is my first attempt at a Pop-Eye. I watched CD-UK especially for this, you know. B-b-b-but where is G-g-gates?! I’ve been wanting to use my ever so funny, and in fact only MAN FROM DELMONTE joke about him for ages and he’s been displaced! This of course is only good news but WHOT a disappointment to hear the new single from Oasis. Then again you’d best buy it sooner rather than later before they get sued by Vishnu Press Inc for advertising The Hindu Times instead of the Hindu Gazeteer ha ha.

Blimey another new entry at number 2, with Nsync ft. Nelly. Girlfriend? NOT ANY MORE JUSTIN ha ha, but at least it’s proper pop music rather than the bladdy Doves, in at number three with a bullet, oh IF ONLY. There Goes The Fear is a right load of dire toss and surely it’s against the law for Heavenly Rekkids to be at number 3. How horrible.

So now let’s leave the top ten and rock down to 10 through 20. BLING! It’s Pay As U Go Kartel who are more dodgy SW9 geezahs with ‘Champagne Dance’. I now have images of the UK-G crowd hanging out at the ICA and drinking those tiny bottles of ‘Pop’ champagne which are RUB, but with the ‘you can dance with your tiny bottle of champers much bettah than you can with your poncy FLOOT’. You wouldn’t get New Order in at 15 doing anything like that. Or would you? They certainly don’t do much in 24 Hour Party People which is a big rub fest. They’re still a better boy band than LFO and oh Pulp haven’t done very well with ‘Bad Cover Version’ but lets just say in big lettahs

THE STREETS HURRAH

at number 30 and speke no more of this nonsense until the Freaky Trigger Streets Spesh. Mike Skinner = rowr. I bought this single. Then I left it behind in the pub. I’m an arse.

I’ve never heard our last new entry, ‘Drowning Pool’ but I have a feeling it will rock EVEN MORE THAN NICKELBACK. Is that it then? This has been your Pop: Eye Xpress entry ::: POP-EYE POP- EYE POP-EYE:::

It’s a third world country!! The theme of my pubgoing weekend was pub shortages – first off in the Bricklayers Arms on Friday night where the grumpiest barman in the world announced that the pub was out of vodka. B-b-b-but there’s a Sainsbury’s round the corner? No matter – if they can’t pay wholesale prices for their booze then they’re not going to serve any. A disgrace to the Sam Smiths’ brand. Then on Sunday, in the Goose And Granite in Clapham, we were told that the pub had run out of ice. Service standards are plummetting! Mind you looking at where we were drinking you might suspect a taste or sanity shortage had taken hold too.

Eric Clapton – most over-rated guitarist in poll shockah! The shocker here actually is not that EC (some call him God, but this is a dwindling number now due to age and events which pretty much prove this not to be true) is seen as being over-rated, this is a new generation we are talking about after all. Except that this new generation still revere Jimi Hendrix and Jimmy Page, and the riffs and solo’s mentioned are all over twenty years old. Is Rock dead, or are the people who buy Laney amps or fill in polls like this just not the kids any more?

Goth pubs. Saturday night was an adventure for some female publogateers into the dark and dangerous world of pretending to be a goth. After the excesses of the film Queen Of The Damned we obviously needed to retire on tyhe Holloway Road for some Snakebite And Black. Unfortunately the best we could do was The Head which was fantastically dark and cavernous – but was playing the football very loudly (albeit without any pictures for half the game). They then put the lights up and played dance music which wasn’t hard enbough for the children of the night. It transpired our gothswere too scared to even order Snakebite & Black (though Sarah has been on a Guinness and Black tip for a while which is pretty-goth).

The Devonshire Arms in Camden likes to think of itself as the gothest pub in London – though it has always appeared a been clean to me. The Intrepid Fox on the other hand, whilst equally catering for rockers, does have the right air of camp grime – right down to the fake spiders webs. One thing which was noted on Saturday though was if you were drinking lager your purple lipstick did not stand a chance.

Time Machine

Featured Posts

21 May 2008
I give marks out of 10 to every song – based on whatever criteria you like, here’s your opportunity to say what you’d have given more than 6 to from 1976. Tick as many as you like. And use the comments to discuss the year as a whole, if you like.

3 Sep 2007
Mars Planets: the atomisation of the Mars Bar. An entropic dis-integration, the tendency of all things to become more chaotic, in confectionery form. I’m trying to resist the impulse to tie this stuff up to no-such-thing-as-Society atomisation because that’s not how we do things, right? And Mars Planets are better to share than a proper big […]

19 Jan 2002
Everlasting Pop and Dexys Midnight Runners There is pop, and there is popular, and then there’s popular. And there’s also “timeless”. Sometimes when people say that a record is “timeless” – let’s pick on, oh, a U2 album – they mean it will be listened to and loved say twenty years from now. What they […]

22 Aug 2006
Despite a brief cameo by Michael Schumacher Car, the filum Cars steers clear of German cars. Oh, there’s a VW campervan, but that is a hippy, with a typical hippy accent (its your grandad’s idea of a hippy at that, straight out of early seventies films). Equally British cars barely get a look-in. So there […]

1 Jun 2002
1 The weather matters. Saturday 1st June: 8pm, and the sky out of my window is still fading pale blue, weightless, benevolent. A jubilee weekend of rain would be a symbolic down: but then, we are long used to finding a meaning in the rain. Not just we aesthetes (‘I’m happy when it rains’; ‘You’re […]

22 Jan 2009
This is a graph – done by anatol_merklich off the Poptimists LiveJournal community, so massive thanks to him – showing the number of new entries in the UK singles chart for each year from 1952 to the present.

26 Jan 2004
“Black Man Ray” is Ray Charles, who China Crisis apparently believe in. Now Ray Charles’ blackness is not a secret, so why did China Crisis see fit to remind us of it on their incomprehensibly awful single? My theories: i) They were talking about the photographer Man Ray, and asserting that he was black. Which […]

11 Oct 2006
The discerning televisual fan will be aware of the vacuum currently residing in the schedules between the 7.30pm end of Hollyoaks First Look and the 9pm commencement of Ghost Whisperer. There are only so many times one can flick between Puff Daddy jiggling next to the Lead Pussycat on TMF and the startlingly abhorrent animated […]