When this whole saga began, I was a believer of the “Rich people don’t serve time” theory. Well, apparently, I couldn’t have been more wrong about that. Michael Vick is in not just fighting a battle with Goodell to play in the league anymore; he’s fighting to stay out of prison.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over "theft and abuse of my animals" on July 23....

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year....

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Jonathan Lee Riches? He dreams. And this isn't the first suit that he's filed.