The episode starts with Okita visiting evil, bad guy with white hair that watches over the Shogun. He’s given orders to find someone and preform a new song, but he has to keep it secret from Kondo. We get a quick flashback of Shota-Okita and Kondo (who apparently hasn’t aged in ten years) where they share some comforting words about nothing.

That’s a good sum of my conflicting emotions considering this series. I keep peering in hoping for an either downright comedic plot I can lose myself in or something even remotely considered plot. Instead, I’m often thrown into filler and the confines of my own knowledge pertaining to history. Is Samurai Jam ~ Bakumatsu Rock going to be worth it? A part of me wishes it would, but the realistic in me is waving a huge sign that says, “No, but at least there’s shota!”. Fair enough mind, you win this time.

Also, has anyone else found it odd that the Shinsengumi is pretty much only made up of the title characters of Okita, Hijikata, and Kondo? I know they were all important, but what about Saito? Or Harada? Just sayin’. Our main trio is off on a trip in the mountains, for reasons I guess. While at the same time Okita is getting ready for a solo concert. That makes more sense for Saito… The reason I say this is Saito was more off on his own. He was reportedly an internal spy, but this could be debated extensively. If anyone should have a solo concert and carry out a solo mission, I’d vote for Saito Hajime. Is he even in the source material for the Samurai Jam ~ Bakumatsu Rock game? I mean he was the one of the only surviving members of the Shinsengumi that played a key role… kinda a big deal.

Anyway, back to the plot (or lack thereof), our trio is visiting a city that is essentially brainwashed by Heaven’s Song. The government plays said song every day and when people listen they stop playing, working, etc. So obviously our heroes have to play rock in the street despite it being illegal. Everyone ignores them, but they hear clapping from that one blonde haired kid that I still don’t know the name of.

Heaven’s Song begins playing and suddenly everyone is rocking back and forth to the music. They discover Okita rehearsing for their concert. He explains people simply love Heaven’s Song and that’s all there is to it. On top of that, he’ll sing his new song for them. By doing so and holding up his katana he suddenly lets out a purple light and makes Shinsaku faint. Kogorou throws a smoke bomb and the three escape before the pop music makes them all lose their will (of course, this means Okita was singing something by Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga, that’ll be my assumption).

The dance that Okita was doing was called the “Phoenix Dance” and sends people into a trance. Apparently, very few people have been able to master said technique. Random blonde haired kid shows up and tells them when and where Okita is doing his concert. So they get into the concert… or not because there are metal detectors to keep them from proceeding onward, instead they use Ryoma’s friend to get in because he’s working as staff at their merch booth.

I will say one thing; this is the first song in the series to really resonate with me. I really do like the vocal performance from Okita. Seeing everyone in a trance obviously makes Ryoma reply as always by suddenly playing guitar. Okita calls out his special magical girl attack, “Flying Sympathy” and makes Kogorou fall, which seems to injure his shoulder. Kogorou decides to ask Okita up close to spare his friends, but instead he gets attacked. Kogorou jumps on drums, so the other two join him, and they begin to jam. Ryoma’s and Shinsaku’s Peace Souls activate, but then after Kogorou’s does.

In a really intriguing twist, Okita begins to cough blood? Looks like he’s getting sick for real, how interesting… that puts a smile on my face if they twist that. The trio stand around naked in front of a cheering crowd and the episode comes to an end.

Yes! More giant robots! This is what I signed up for. But first, time for some exposition. You guys remember Creepy McJerkface from the first 5 episodes right? Well he worked for an organization called Salty Dog which I thought was a part of the Macbeth Corporation. Turns out they are a completely different faction that also wants to take over the world. Like we need more of those right? Wwe have seen the members of Salty Dog have meeting in past episodes but they just would talk gibberish and I would wonder whats going on. But our story begins with the female member of Salty Dog showing up to Globe headquarters.

Her mission, as explained last episode, is to disband the Midsummer Knights and take Hana back with her. But the leader of Globe predicted this and left Hana on the orbiting space station with Akari’s mom for safe keeping. Meanwhile, at the same place I just said, Hana is swimming in a clear swimming pull with a sweet view of the Earth. Poolside with her are the two pilots of the space station named… actually they never said their names. But they asked about the boys and who she likes. Obviously she said Daichi but both of them want to go after Teppei. And by both I mean both. Teppei is going to end up with two girlfriends. Not really but it would be funny.

At the home of the Knights, we find Teppei reading on the porch with Akari on the computer. Daichi shows up with a big plate of watermelon to get everyone to talk. They are also worried about Hana and if she is going to be okay. Akari tries to cheer Daichi up with her signature magical spell, Super Belly Button Spell of Happiness! I’m not joking. Apparently she did this because she believes her role as the main heroine is in danger. Seriously though, I don’t think anyone is the main female character. Back at Globe HQ, the blonde, female member of Salty Dog has a paper phone conversation with the other members. She is given the order to use Cerberus, the first unmanned Interceptor said to replace the engines.

At Macbeth headquarters. Kube/Puck apparently has been “around” the office so much that he has cast his secretary aside for, well, every other female in the building. Don’t you remember the old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?”. But let’s see what the Kiltgangs are up to! Zin, Moco and Amarok hatch a plain to send two machine good fellows out at a time to see if their success rate will increase. Moco says she is going no matter what. Zin and Amarok flip a coin to see who will go with her. Zin wins and they get ready to lunch. There is a foreshadowing about teamwork in there but it was poorly executed and isn’t really important to the episode.

The Knights meet the new inspector from Salty Dog and she actually questions Nishikubo’s sanity in this team’s creation. That’s when the alarm sounds and they are both forced to launch. Flare is still in repairs and can not launch. But before sending in the engines, during their 5 minute long transformation scene, the new inspector sends in Salty Dog’s new toy, the Cerberus. Composed of 3 unmanned units that look like spiky Unowns from Pokemon. They use sporadic movement to throw off the enemy and deliver fast attacks. This starts to work for about a minute. Because Moco was able to hack into their systems and take them over. The engines show up to see the Cerberus is now in their control and is on the attack.

The inspector has the look of total defeat on her face which makes me happy. I don’t like Salty Dog. They are an organization of nasty people and creepers. Akari finds a back door into the Cerberus systems and is able to get them back to their side, until they are destroyed. But Akari also found another back door into the Kiltgangs own systems. Jackpot! As Akari gets to work, Teppei and Daichi try to fend off Moco and Zin as best they can. Akari manages to hack the Kiltgangs themselves and shut them down. Daichi and Teppei waste no time and attempt to destroy their Ego blocks. That was actually a smart call Daichi. You are getting better. The Kiltgangs explode but the Ego blocks still fly away, despite the point blank shots from both engines. Looks like an Ego block can only be destroyed if the pilot wishes it to be. So how are we supposed to beat these guys?!

Teppei and Daichi head for the same space station Hana is on. Back on Earth, the inspector is in shock at the whole display as Nishikubo lands possibly the best burn I have ever seen to the inspector. I like this guy now. He is taking no crap from anyone now. To see the full burn, please watch the episode. Come on you don’t expect us to spoil the whole episode for you. We need to leave something for the imagination. But this is where we end today’s episode. It was a decent enough episode I do have to say but there is a lot of jumping around and people to pay attention to. But wait what did I miss? Did Amarok say they next time they should all attack at the same time?! But we have 3 damaged engines. How are we suppose to survive?! Guess you’ll have to tune in next time.

I think I’m forgetting something though. What was it? Oh yeah! this week’s challenge. What was is again? Oh yeah! To find a song that best describes my show. I think I will have to go with the song “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas. This song actually fits with Daichi taking his fathers place as Captain in the fight for space and Earth. Plus the song speaks greatly in tune to the space travel theme. If you listen to it and think about the series we have seen so far, you will understand it. Perfect fit. I could’ve been cheap and gone “Rocket Man” by Elton John but that was too easy. Seeya all next week. Same Space Time, Same Space Channel!

I’m a liar! I did not speedrun the next episode of JoJo’s. In fact I have a little over 45 minutes to watch this episode AND write up this Simulblast. Thankfully I already know what is going to happen because I watched it earlier today in the living room as I often do before I write.

We’re going to start off with our OP break though. This song never gets any less awesome.

We continue following the end of last episode. JoJo has just acted as a bridge for Steely Dan, and now he has an itchy back and needs Jotaro to scratch it for him.

Due to the connection between Steely Dan and Jotaro’s granfather, Joseph starts freaking out in the middle of the street. People start giving him change, because they think he’s a crazy person. They buy the TV they were using to remotely look inside Joseph’s head and leave. Unlike the episode where Polnareff had to use mirrors to see his enemy, Steely Dan has already figured out Polnareff and Kakyoin are shrinking their Stands to fight his own in Joseph’s brain.

Meanwhile inside his head The Lovers is tearing up brain cells and feeding them to the bud made from Dio’s cells. Silver Chariot cuts the monster down, but it turned out it was a simulacrum made from the brain matter it was harvesting. The Lovers can create and use copies of itself and others out of the brain cells it harvests and can make them attack, somewhat like Justice’s corpse control. The difference is one of them is the real Stand, and it’s an ugly bug thing with claw hands.

Because JoJo can’t do anything against Steely Dan he’s shining Dan’s shoes as Steely Dan laughs at him. When he finishes JoJo pulls out a notebook and writes it down. He tells Dan he’s keeping track of everything he’s been made to do for payback purposes. Honestly this is a little dumb, or overly dramatic, but it’s still pretty cool.

Back in the brain The Lovers has been splitting into more every time it’s attacked, and Polnareff is taking damage from attacks on Silver Chariot. The Lovers starts being incredibly annoying making it my least favorite Stand, and Joseph wants Silver Chariot to withdraw before Polnareff takes too much more damage. Kakyoin is concerned, wondering which Lovers is the real Stand. It starts being incredibly annoying again.

Now Dan is forcing Jotaro to steal from a jewelry store. The first enemy from Sailor Moon would be proud. Of course, Jotaro can’t refuse so he uses Star Platinum to take it. Immediately Dan rats him out to the owner, and he gets beat up by three dudes who tell him to get out of their country, racists. While he’s getting beat up, Dan steals an even more expensive piece of jewelry and taunts him about it. JoJo laughs like a crazy person and says he’s super excited for when he gets to pay him back. JoJo somehow already knows Kakyoin will figure out how to win.

And at the same time Kakyoin reveals he has won using Heirophant Green to touch every The Lovers, he finds the real Stand and attacks. Dan pulls back his Stand, and they worry for Jojo as he doesn’t know it’s coming. At the same time Joseph uses Hamon Overdrive to kill the bud made from Dio’s flesh.

Of course there was no reason to worry, we saw in episode one that Star Platinum can stop a bullet from point blank range, and had the precision to rip the bud from Kakyoin without killing him shortly after, so when Dan tries to get into his head Star Platinum picks the microscopic Stand out of the air, squeezing it, breaking Dan’s arm and leg.

Dan begs for mercy, and JoJo taunts him. He squeezes some more and then grants him mercy saying if he ever sees him again he’ll punch him a thousand times. As he turns to leave, Dan sends his Stand into a little girl. He walks slowly towards JoJo with a knife saying he’s going to stab him and not to move, telling him if he fights back the little girl will die. When he goes in for the kill he finds he can’t move. Heirophant Green’s root stayed with the Stand and tied it so it couldn’t do any more damage. JoJo makes good on the thousand punch threat and beats the crap out of Dan, smashing him through a brick wall. In a final act of “cool” he writes him a receipt for his payback.

Choosing a song to represent a series like JoJo was at first really hard. I thought for a while going from song to song and thinking “No… that doesn’t really encompass JoJo”. Then it came to me, and it was perfect. Vogue by Madonna. With all the pose striking and crazy fashion, this song I feel perfectly matches JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

Watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders on Crunchyroll or talk about this episode on our forums.The Irregular At Magic High School (Episode Seventeen)Player: KayarathClass: Content Provider

As expected, the battle between Tatsuya and the mob finally happened. It wasn’t the dramatic battle I expected though. While everyone in Fist Magic High was celebrating, Tatsuya was winning another lopsided battle. It wasn’t the boring curb stomps of some his earlier battles though. It was demonic Tatsuya disintegrating a pack of chumps without remorse or mercy. He threw the kid gloves off; becoming quite scary actually.

When you’re that powerful, everyone takes notice. The Ten Master Clans have definitely noticed Tatsuya and are feeling out the situation. While it may take ten episodes or so, they will recruit Tatsuya into their ranks one way or another. Tatsuya prefers to remain a free agent though, so something’s gonna have to give. Dramatic conflict!

To wrap up this arc, there’s a dance. The Red Prince hits on Miyuki, which makes things even more awkward when Tatsuya informs him that he and Miyuki are brother and sister. While Red is flustered about the whole situation, Tatsuya recommends that he and Miyuki go dance. As the Red Prince walks off to the dance floor, he gives Tatsuya a “you’re a real pal” look. Looks like they’ll be friends after all; or at least not enemies. Not wanting Tatsuya to be a wall flower, Erika nudged him on the dance floor too and he steps around with no less then four lovely ladies. Of course he has to dance with his sister for the final song however. Put them in front of a water fountain, play a brother/sister song like “Sail Away Sweet Sister” from Queen, and call it an arc. What will the next arc be about? Beats me!

Watch The Irregular at Magic High School on Daisuki or talk about this episode on our forums.Terror in Resonance (Episode Five)Player: WhiskahsClass: Technomancer

There’s a bomb, there’s Lisa, there’s Shibazaki, and there is another episode of Terror in Resonance. Starting where they last left off, this episode begins with Nine and Twelve discussing Lisa’s presence in their hideout while she rouses from her unconscious state and begins to poke around. The two serial bombers are outside and don’t notice the girl wandering around until she accidentally hits the detonator for a bomb that had not yet been completely wired up. This causes several of the phones inside to start ringing, which Twelve rushes in to quickly quiet before scaring Lisa back into an unconscious state. Apparently she is sick and being startled causes her to pass out. I’m not entirely sure how that works, but the fact she is ill is enough for Twelve to convince Nine to let her stay until she gets better.

With the Lisa issue resolved for a time, Nine and Twelve set out to plant another bomb and issue another warning. This time the two plant the bomb, disguised as an extinguisher, on a subway train. Afterward they release one of their video riddles, which Shibazaki solves pretty quickly in addition to determining that all the targets bombed have ties to an organization that sounds relatively questionable (and probably the folks that ran the facility where Nine and Twelve resided as children). Despite this things go a bit awry as the police are told to sit back and wait as the recently arrived American special team were taking care of the situation.

Meanwhile Lisa burns dinner, Nine and Twelve have a flashback and argue about Lisa again, and then they all just sort of sit around for awhile. Eventually Nine begins to be troubled by the fact their bomb is still ticking, thinking that Shibazaki (rightly so) should have figured out the riddle. Eventually, with less than an hour left, Twelve goes out to try and track down the train with the bomb on it while Nine stays behind and attempts to hack into the train system to discern its location that way. The two don’t actually want to kill anyone, so the fact that the bomb is still rolling around the city with people nearby freaks them out.

It ends up turning out that the whole thing was planned by one of the American agents, a woman whom Nine realizes is Five, the girl that he and Twelve left behind as children. He never actually sees her, but comes to the conclusion when his backdoor into the train system ends up being a trap and his computer begins to be hacked. He slams shut the computer he is working on after overcoming his initial shock and pulls out a backup to break back into the train system proper to figure out where the bomb is. After doing so he realizes its going to be at the station nearest him so he runs to it while Twelve makes his way back to the hideout. As the train is still full of people and time is running out, Nine chucks a smoke grenade, which causes everyone to flee aside from a girl who is sleeping on the train. Despite the bomb being about ready to go off Nine runs onto the train and attempts to push the girl out of danger.

In the aftermath of the explosion Nine was knocked unconscious, but eventually comes to. The girl he had attempted to save appears fine and he mostly seems alright aside from being roughed up a bit. Using his radio he lets Twelve know he’s alright just as a rather cryptic text message, “I found you!”, is sent to apparently everyone in the city.

Choosing a song to describe this series is a little rough, but Quantic’s Time is the Enemy off of the album The 5th Exotic works. It’s not so much a song as an instrumental, but the feel of it is right. Despite the bit of humor in this episode the somber tone and name of the song seem fitting for the overall show. I don’t really see a happy end in sight for any of the characters and from some of the conversations Nine and Twelve have had in the past it seems like its only a matter of time before things come to a head and when they do the two seem to think that they and everyone close to them are doomed.

Watch Terror in Resonance on Funimation or talk about this episode on our forums.DRAMAtical Murder (Episode Five)Player: ShoClass: Content Provider

Aoba wakes up, presumably in a base of some sort, captured and his hands are tied up. The leader seems to be someone called Mink. Aoba, still worried about his Grams, demands the location of Grams. He doesn’t seem to realize that he’s in a bad situation. Mink proceeds to tell his goons to start beating up Aoba. What in the world did Aoba do to get these guys on him? Then, after a bit of time, it’s like he snaps. He says “Disappear” and a bunch of the goons just freeze in their tracks. Shortly after though, he passes out.

He wakes up and this Mink guy tells him that he’s learned what he needed to and that Grams was already abducted by Morphine when they arrived in Aoba’s house. With a lot of talking and discussing, Mink, Clear, Koujaku and Noiz all help Aoba look for his Grams. Everyone seems to be a pretty good fighter, with Noiz gaining information and leading them to Grams. Clear is unnecessarily strong. When Aoba finally finds Grams, he finds that Mizuki is taking her away. All of Dry Juice seems to have been assimilated by Morphine at this point. Their consciousness and thinking has been replaced by something more sinister. Mizuki even threatens to kill Grams. Aoba can’t seem to take this, gripping his head and yelling at Mizuki to stop. Then after a bit, his eyes get how they were when he fought Noiz in Rhyme and when he was getting beat up by Mink’s Rib group. With a dramatic scene change, he falls into what seems to be Mizuki’s head.

He comes to in what seems to be Koujaku’s shop. He’s surrounded by a bunch of people that are interested in Rhyme. So much so that they don’t want to do Rib anymore. Aoba gets bombarded with all of this and eventually, goop just starts pouring out of his ears. He encounters Mizuki and follows him. Mizuki starts to explain what happened and pleads for Aoba to help him. The episode ends after Mizuki tells him that Dry Juice joined Morphine because Mizuki wanted his team to forget about Rhyme. This caused Mophine to take over Dry Juice and probably brainwash them too. Both Aoba and Mizuki seem to be in pain as the episode comes to an end. So many flipping cliffhangers. It’s not nice.

Now, for the song that represents DRAMAtical Murder. I choose First Love Academy, a Vocaloid song. It’s about two boys, a heart throb and a shy boy, that love the same girl. I feel like everyone loves Aoba, since this is a boy’s love anime. They both have a lot of funky shenanigans, silliness and completely unnecessary drama. That’s why I would choose First Love Academy by Nem.

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