Saturday, November 7, 2009

Feminism In Action: Mystery Woman Kicking Random Men In The Balls

What a very odd story to bring to you, but as a big feminist, I'm all about reporting what the other feminist are doing out in the world.

B.C. police seek serial groin-kicker after series of attacks

LANGLEY, B.C. -- Police in Langley are investigating after a woman kicked a man in the groin so hard he lost a testicle -- the latest in a series of similar assaults.

"I just want to know what her problem is," victim Anthony Clark, 22, said this week. "People like her shouldn't be on the streets."

Mr. Clark was walking in the Brookswood area of Langley in early September when he passed his assailant on the sidewalk.

"I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walk up to me," he said.

That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen.

Mr. Clark said he wasn't aware of the severity of his injury until later that night when he "noticed something was missing."

He consulted his doctor and a specialist, both of whom believed his testicle could be brought down again with surgery.

It wasn't until he woke up afterwards that he discovered the doctors were wrong - the force of the assault had caused his testicle to rupture. It had to be removed and will be replaced by a prosthetic before Christmas.

"My doctors say I will still be able to have children," Mr. Clark said. "But at 22 that's not something I want a stranger, this woman, to decide."

Embarrassed by the situation, Mr. Clark didn't go to the police until nearly four weeks after the attack.

Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men, Mr. Clark said.

Langley RCMP said they would like to speak to other victims, although there have been no official reported incidents, spokeswoman Const. Holly Marks said.

The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s. She was between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven and 130 pounds with a slim build and brown hair.

Ha! I see literally hundreds of women a day who fit that description; I don't think they could have got any more generic description. But let's be honest, those men had it coming. Like, seriously. What were they thinking walking around, in that part of the city, dressed like that. Why weren't thsoe men wearing cups? And at that time of night as well? They should have known the risk.

But what about the equality in this, I bet if this was a dude going around kicking women in the box, when they catch up with him eventually, there would be a huge story on how women who didn't want to bone him turned him into this crazed snatch-kicking maniac. But if they catch this woman it will be a lot of "THIS IS SEXISM OF THE WORST KIND."

I know getting booted in the testicles so hard that one explodes seems funny on the surface. Hell, I've even laughed at the situation when it was on America's funniest home video all the time. But the idea of being able to just stroll up to someone and obliterate a small but important part of their body forever gives me the willies in the worse possible way.

It does make me question my feelings towards gun ownership. It's quite obviously necessary in a world where one's testicles can be destroyed in the blink of an eye. There is a strange part of me that wonders about the way to go about healing that wound. A prosthetic testicle, really? is that strictly necessary? And do you think I could buy a third ball just to be different an toss a curve ball (pun intended) to my girlfriend.

Then again, if my balls were destroyed I'd just get them replaced with trucknutz. Maybe some blue ones. That'll add some comedy to any dull dinner party conversation.

Then there's this quote that cracks me up;

"My doctors say I will still be able to have children," Mr. Clark said. "But at 22 that's not something I want a stranger, this woman, to decide."

Ha. that's a pretty funny comment. That dude sure seems to be handling losing a testicle pretty well. Much better than I would be. If that women destroyed one of my nuts I'd probably be pretty upset at her. Upset enough to say she shouldn't have the power over my reproductive capacity. I know, how much more of a misogynist can I be with that mentality.

But what are you going to do about it? If kicking in the balls was banned, only crminals would kick in the balls. It's a tough world like that. How come women get anti-rape deivices but men don't get anti-ball kick devices? Looks like a classic case of reverse sexism going on up in here.

I know I'm a huge feminist and all, and since I'm already balls deep into this conversation I figure that I would ask this question that I, a huge feminist, don't even know. I don't know how feminist feel towards sluts. I mean, do they respect them for their sexual freedom or are they opposed to their slangin it around because it undercuts female power?

I'm thinking that feminist actually don't like sluts. A slut is a women who derives her power from her sexual appeal. The only "power" these women posses is that which is granted to them by men who want to fuck them. Sluts behave like women were biologically hardwired to behave; to be having sex with many men and have all their needs provided by men. That is not empowering to women because it is still the men who control everything.

I do believe that Feminist are more enlightened females (and me) who understand that if women want to be empowered they have to do it without depending on men. This is why Meghan Fox is not a positive role model for women. Her power depends on her making money based one guys coming to see her run around in little amounts of clothing. Without that male fan base, her power is null. It's like with the absence of good, you can't tell what exactly evil is.

Then again, "Slut" is right up there with "white trash" as a term that should never be legitimized by anyone who considers him- or herself remotely progressive but still gets thrown around. Both have pretty similar implications and always implicate the user as a bigot. Then again, progressives are ineffectual losers who go all aspergers about language because the only thing they're good at is talking.

But since we're talking about it, the word slut needs to be reclaimed like 'queer' or it needs to stop being used. I normally smash the Patriarchy by referring to promiscuous men as sluts as well. Then we get to the whole virginity thing. Seriously, who cares? If you care about sexual purity, you should die alone. Seriously. Practice makes perfect, guys. What the hell are people complaining about if a female has a lot of practice?

"She's such a whore! She's slept with several guys!", is just dumb and shortsighted. Sure, sex gets better, or at least it should, the more you get to know each other, but that's another thing that has nothing to do with the knowledge you go into the relationship with.

So yes, this feminist in action blog was all over the place. But if you feel I portrayed women in the wrong light, always remember the female privilege checklist;

The Female Privilege Checklist

1) Due to anti-discrimination laws, if I compete against a man for a job, all other things equal, I'll get the job because it'll look good on paper.

2) I can use sex appeal to get practically anything I want from any male at any time.

3) If somebody says something derogatory towards my partner, I will not be expected to fight that person.

4) If I hit a man and he hits me back - he'll get the jail time.

5) I can sexually harass men as much as I want, and if they complain they're gay.

6) If I ever rape a man, he won't say anything for fear of being labeled a pussy. If he does say something, he'll probably just be laughed at.

7) If I ever beat up a man, he won't say anything for fear of being labeled a pussy. If he does say something, he'll probably just be laughed at.

8) If he doesn't orgasm when we have sex, it's his fault.

9) If I don't orgasm when we have sex, it's his fault.

10) I'm in charge in the relationship regardless of what any book says.

11) If I have kids and split from the father, I'll get the kids.

12) ...and he'll have to pay me.

13) If I pursue a career I'm commended as being an empowered female.

14) Anytime I do well in business, the media will look at me as some messiah because I'm a woman. Everyone will be impressed.

15) My parents were more loving to me and harder on my brothers.

16) As a child I was taught necessary skills to survive in the world on my own, such as better communication skills and the ability to make food.

17) If I cry everyone huddles around and hugs me, telling me to feel better.

18) If I get angry or sad, I can blame it on it being "that time of the month." Everyone will understand.

19) Worst case scenario I need to lose some weight and use makeup to be attractive, unlike guys who are either attractive or they aren't.

20) If I like to spend money, it's expected.

21) If I have sex with a lot of people, I maybe labeled a slut, but that just means more people will try to have sex with me.

22) There is a wide variety of different styles and types of clothing available to me. Same goes for jewelery and perfumes.

23) I'm taught the skills necessary to make it on my own, but that it's okay to rely on others - unlike a males who generally aren't taught to even cook and that they must compete over every last little thing. If they lose, they're lesser men.

24) If a crime is commited against me, the punishment will always be worse than it would be for commiting it against a man.

25) Regardless of how much or how little I do around the house, I can nag my boyfriend/husband for not doing enough and he'll put up with it.

26) If I get pregnant, regardless of what the father wants, I can choose to abort the child or not abort the child.

27) If I make more money than my husband, people will think more of me and less of him.

28) If I look down I can expect everyone, even complete strangers, to care and tell me to cheer up or smile. The'll do little extra things to try and make me feel better.

29) If I don't want to have sex early on, people don't wonder if I'm gay.

30) I have the privilege of being fully aware of these advantages, and I use them in excess.

17 comments:

your little list at the end is fucking idiotic don't comment on what it is like to be a woman if you do not have a vagina. That is true of any minority that they are more likely to get hired if the company's numbers of minorities are low. That does not mean that we will get paid as much as a man or have the same amount of respect in the workplace given to us. I wouldn't expect my partner to fight in my honor although I would expect someone who loves me to stand up for me as I would them. Women hitting men is a serious offense under the eyes of a police as well as men hitting women. Men should speak up if they are being sexually harassed. The "gay" judgment comes mostly from other men. Most women can't orgasm during sex. So you think it is fair that a man should have an orgasm during sex and then us not have one? Why should women be taking birth control when it is the man that is getting you pregnant. Why should women get the HPV vaccine when the men are the ones that are the carriers? The most responsible parent should get the kid in a case, and that is how it usually goes. However, the woman is the one pushing the baby out of her vagina and the man does what oh yeah - donates his sperm sample thanks, but I can find that anywhere. Parents are more restrictive towards a female child. The male child has a lot more freedom. You said we were taught how to cook, well I don't know how to cook..if we are continuing stereotypes women weren't taught how to fix things or know how cars work.. That is not just if women cry people comfort them it is with anyone. I think you have bad friends. And men aren't even labeled as sluts. With the abortion issue. it is not yours to even talk about. it is about our body, not yours! You do not under any circumstances have the right to a woman's body. Do you even know what it is like to want to go for a normal walk and to have 10 creepy old men follow you and tell you " you would look so much prettier if you smiled" fuck that I don't have to smile for you. You have written way too much bullshit on here for me to respond to, but you get the idea. Oh and real feminists aren't going around town as serial nutkickers.

GiraffeShadow, you need to chill the hell out. No wonder people think that feminists have no sense of humor. Some things about being female ARE better; don't act so victimized all the time.

As a woman, I obviously understand life as a female way better than a man would, but that doesn't mean he's not allowed to say ANYTHING about our experiences. I'm assuming he is at least familiar with various women. Surely his mother was one. :p

This post was kind of all over the place. I would like to see the blogger try to develop some of his ideas a little more.

Oh boo fucking hoo, a few guys get kicked in the balls; how many women are permanently disfigured, unable to have children and/or are mentally/physically scarred for the rest of their lives because someone decided they could force their way onto them, i.e. rape?

You're clearly thinking calling yourself a 'feminist' excuses you from sounding like a total fucking idiot. Open your eyes.

First off, I think you did make some good points, like women should NOT be called or considered slutty because they aren't virgins or have had sex with more than one partner, and men should not look at those women as unclean, or easy.

Amen to that. And I like that you call men sluts when they deserve it as well, I try to do that too. I admire that you are a feminist, and you are aware of the sexism and revers sexism against men as well. That's what we need more of in this world, understanding of inequality and action to eliminate it, regardless of sex, background, etc.

However, your list at the end seems more like a provoked ribbing of women than a list of "advantages" that women have. It seems there's a bit of bitterness behind it, and perhaps some maliciousness, instead of just facts, though many ARE facts, they were not presented as facts alone, without emotion and assumption. Many of the things on there are true, like being able to decided whether or not to have your own baby, regardless of whether or not the man wants the child. I don't know if that's always fair for the man, of course, but it is the woman's body, and it's just one of those things in life....it is the way it is. I can definitely conceded, there are women who use all of those privileges in excess, but I must disagree with you on number 30. "I have the privilege of being fully aware of these advantages, and I use them in excess." This sounds like an unfair assumption of women as a whole. Perhaps, you meant to say "I have the privilege of being fully aware of these advantages, and I HAVE THE OPTION to use them in excess" As it stands now, however, it sounds like you're saying that all women DO use these advantages on purpose, such as sex appeal to get whatever you want, etc. Again, perhaps you didn't mean it like that, as the entire list seems to be a list of options, but the way it's typed now could easily be misinterpreted as a sexist attitude toward women, which I'm sure you're not.Also..."I have the privilege of being fully aware of these advantages"....this is an unfair assumption as well. I'm a woman, and I've never once thought that it was the man's fault if either he or myself don't orgasm during sex...that's just ridiculous. So I beg to differ that women as a whole know EVERYTHING on that list. I may be micro-analyzing here, but I believe it's of the utmost importance, when dealing with such things as writing feminist literature, that one is very precise and concise and careful with their wording. My boyfriend makes a good point, that perhaps you went over the top a bit to make your point, and as a literary device, but I don't see that working well, on feminists especially. You should try to keep your own emotions and assumptions out of it as much as possible, and stick to the facts.Also, I respect a lot of what you're saying, but it was hard for me to read the blog as it had many grammatical mistakes. Such as "women" when it should be singular "woman". And a few other mistakes.

Thank you Robert for the constructed criticism. I think the basics here is that the last list part was more than anything, parody or at least taken as sarcasm. Giraffeshadow, seriously? If you can't laugh at yourself then you can't laugh at anything.

Even in the earlier segment, sarcasm was laced all over the place. The "They were asking it with what they were wearing" should have shown the most often used to defend a rapist action as the fault of the women, and in this case, it shouldn't matter who the victim is, there's still an attacker.

And Kelly, what is a feminist other than someone who wants EQUALITY for women. I'm all for being equal. The problem falls that GENERALLY women say they want that, but they also want to keep the special treatment. Chivalry is one of those hot issues.

I'm all about giving equal treatment to men and women. So when you go out on a date next time, try to toss in half on the tab. Equality after all.. Oh wait, there's that special treatment again..

And Alexa, I doubt Jessica was trying to win any male's favor with her comments. But hey, let's just assume that she's trying to impress a man.. cause hey, isn't that what all women are doing all the time? -rolleyes- Heaven forbid people have a difference of opinion.

I thank you for your comments. While I may not agree with you and people like Giraffeshadow sounds like a nazi-feminist, I do think you have the right to express those opinions. So, by all means. Keep them coming.

And in case you're mad about the list. Here's little piece of information for you, that aspect was ghost written by a female friend who I told the "nut kicking" story to and about this pending article and wanted to contribute.

So hey, take it as comedy. Robert, you're correct. It was nothing more than a ribbing. Since I ribbed on the plight of men randomly being chill with getting their balls kicked out, I felt it was a nice balance.

Good to see people are more than willing to be the equal butt of a joke. :p

It doesn't matter if that list was written by your female friend. There are plenty of females as well as males out there that are ignorant. You say you sympathize with a certain group and then make fun of them and when they get upset write them off by saying that they have no sense of humor. That is just wrong. Reading that list at the end it sounds like you are a misogynist under the guise of a feminist. There is no "hotbutton issue of chivalry" When I try to open a door for a male most of them will insistently refuse and open it for me. That is our fault? Disney was owned by a man- who created the movies that brainwashed little girls everywhere into believing in chivalry. Once again how is this our fault? There are so many different aspects of feminism and so many issues that tie into it. Do your homework before you call yourself a feminist and before you make fun of your core audience, it's not polite.

First off, what the hell does misogynist mean? I would like YOU to define it to me. Because it sure as hell sounds like to toss around that buzzword and act like it means anything. Your constant abuse of the word demeans it.

Because in reality, it means "Hatred towards Women" and really, how do I hate women? Especially when I spend a great deal defending that whole slut name calling. I very much like women.

Maybe you should take this for the face value. A comedy/parody website. Do you yell at your tv during comedy central's daily show? How about yelling at the Onion? It's parody and your abuse of the word ignorant is.. well, pretty bad.

How about you open your eyes to why this is simply comical and take it at face value.

I mean, let me arm rest psychiatry you. You hide behind a name "Giraffee Shadow", Clearly you have, at its core a form of self-nullification developed in response to emotional trauma. So tell me, shadow of a large necked mammal, who hurt you?

Robert and Jessica saw this as was. Then again, I did just write a piece about mad men. Oh my. How dare I'm just carrying on the Patriarchy. How dare I?! As for opening doors. fuck that. When's the last time you picked up the tab or took a man out to eat on our dime? You want equality. go out and do it.

Oh, and if you want to be equal, why don't you enable your profile? Oh wait.. too afraid?

My constant abuse of it? I only used it once. No I don't yell at comedy central because they actually do a good job at referencing culture and parodies of it (unlike you). You apparently suck at being a feminist. You spelled giraffe wrong anyways. Who the fuck are you to ask me when the last time I picked up a tab? when me and my boyfriend go out to eat, I pay 75% of the time. The issues relating to feminism are serious and if you are going to put a lengthy list at the bottom that demeans women then there is something seriously wrong with you. I am not going to waste my time on you any longer.

Giraffeshadow- This whole take of "if you don't have a vagina" is ridiculous. Ridiculous from the point of achieving equality, which means among other things, both sides being able to bring discussion to the table. You have gotten your hackles raised for all the defensive and angry reasons that give feminists a bad name. Number one, the list at the end does not refute the Male Privilege, or lessen its effect. However, tongue-in-cheek as it may be, it does address the existence of the flip side of MP.

Women hitting men is a serious offense under the eyes of a police as well as men hitting women.Consider this- According to some studies, Domestic violence is roughly equal between the sexes, but level of incarceration is roughly 13 to 1 against males http://www.batteredmen.com/straus21.htm

Men should speak up if they are being sexually harassed. The "gay" judgment comes mostly from other men.Consider the environment towards such cases. in Michigan, a jury agreed that a man had endured repeated fondling by his female co-workers but awarded him only $100 in damages. Compare that to the hundreds of thousands of dollars regularly awarded to female plaintiffs.

Most women can't orgasm during sex. So you think it is fair that a man should have an orgasm during sex and then us not have one?

No, it's not fair, but neither is blaming the guy for the lack either. According to sexologists the cure is something else- self-exploration and communication with your partner.

Why should women be taking birth control when it is the man that is getting you pregnant.

And the woman is just laying there, oblivious? Last I heard, even in your own statement, the woman was there too. Is it fair that taking BC falls on the woman? No, but if I took it, my boobs would get bigger. Then I would NEVER get anybody (willing) pregnant. After 6 months I would be permanently sterile. Add to that, there isn't a bc that has been successfully developed for men.

Why should women get the HPV vaccine when the men are the ones that are the carriers?

And just where are the guys getting it from? Seriously.

The most responsible parent should get the kid in a case, and that is how it usually goes.

While 70% of all divorces are initiated by women, 85 to 90% of custody awards go to the women. Oh, and less than 5% of non-custodial women pay their child support.

However, the woman is the one pushing the baby out of her vagina and the man does what oh yeah - donates his sperm sample

Yep. That's the reason why men should give up any ideas about being a part of the child's life. They contributed nothing but a tablespoon of gunk. As it currently stands, they don't do anything like midnight runs for ice cream, earn the money for that new crib, help paint the nursery, or massage her feet when her ankles are swollen. Nope, a man doesn't deserve any interest at all.

...but I can find that anywhere.

So, are you saying that the man's contribution is completely meaningless? Things like helping save up for the new crib, painting the nursery, midnight runs for ice cream just don't count as taking a vested interest in the child?

Parents are more restrictive towards a female child. The male child has a lot more freedom.

Something we agree on.

That is not just if women cry people comfort them it is with anyone.

What was it you said earlier? ...don't comment on what it is like to be a man if you do not have a penis. Nope, men are weak if they cry. Seriously. Major life-changing events can be looked over, like a death in the family, but that's about it.

With the abortion issue. it is not yours to even talk about.

I presume this goes back to the whole thing about the father's contribution, as opposed to any rights of the child (I personally am anti-convenience- but that is another matter.) The discussion is about how there is no way for the father to have any part in the decision process. For instance, if a one-night stand and I got pregnant, where is the option, if she is willing, for her to carry the child to term and I raise it. It only exists if SHE thinks of it, SHE thinks to talk to me about it and SHE chooses it. But any legal proposals to bring this up as an option would raise more ugly situations that it would fix. No I don't have any say over your body, nor want it, but the possibility I brought up doesn't exist either.

Do you even know what it is like to want to go for a normal walk and to have 10 creepy old men follow you and tell you " you would look so much prettier if you smiled"

Now, this is one I know nothing about. It does sound like it would be an uncomfortable experience. Sure, it might be cool a couple of times, but I can definitely see how it would turn ugly quickly to be constantly seen as an object and nothing more. But, I do have a couple of questions, and this is where I will probably make enemies. But first, know that this is not to say that it doesn't happen by any means. Rather, both conditions exist.

Hence, the need to discuss as equals. Now, when a woman wears a low-cut top and short skirt and a wonderbra what does she expect? Is it realisticto not get attention? On the other hand, somebody who is not seeking attention should be able to come and go in peace. So, where and how do we draw a line in it all? When we figure that out, maybe it will answer the reason why I have trouble finding jeans that are not figure conforming (and objectifying) for my 9 year old daughter. 9 years old. Call me naive and sexist, but it's the consumers that shape fashion trends. And I don't see many men buying women's stretch jeans. Or wonderbras, or thong panties at Ambercrombie and Fitch (which also market to 'tweens).

And before it even comes up, rape is never acceptable. If you think that is my message, you have completely missed the point.

Oh and real feminists...

Did you, being vagina-endowed, somehow get the license to decide what a feminist is? Correct me if I am wrong, but the two main points of feminism are to 1) achieve equality and 2) Think and act for yourselves. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean somebody else doesn't think it's a good idea.

Kelly-Oh boo fucking hoo, a few guys get kicked in the balls; how many women are permanently disfigured, unable to have children and/or are mentally/physically scarred for the rest of their lives because someone decided they could force their way onto them, i.e. rape

Sooo, you're saying that it should happen so that the playing field gets leveled? That just sounds like vengeance. What about not permitting anything like that, to anybody? I 100% percent agree with you about the effects of said rape, and I will even go so far as to point out how much more often it is perpetrated against women. However, there is still the issue of whether that kind of assault is permissible against anybody, it would seem. Should I really continue? Are not the guys that are wrongly sent to jail for a rape that they did not commit, only to be raped repeatedly by other inmates enough to satisfy your blood thirst? It doesn't happen anywhere near as often as actual rapists being sent to prison (if at all), but it does happen. Did they deserve it because they have a penis?

Alexa-Wow. Is it really equality you are looking for? Because I don't see any discussion as equals in your future One woman says to take a chill pill and all of a sudden she is the antichrist of feminism? Maybe, just maybe, she got the point of the blog.

All three of you are without a doubt the type of people who give feminism a bad name.

I myself am usually laid back (this is a rare exception), and assume everybody searches to be happy. Freedom and equality are essential to that. And I have been married to a woman who made more than me, and I was happy with that and I backed up and supported her on that. Now, I am a single father, and I am happy with that too. And I raise my daughter to be herself and to be whatever she wants to be. And I raise her to do the same activities as my son, and to learn to spot any glass ceilings and bash the fuck out of them. And, I am happy with that too.

because they actually do a good job at referencing culture and parodies of it (unlike you).

Ouch, I'm so hurt now. Funny enough, my post got you to respond. You also still failed to come out of hiding. Seems like you're more than happy to dish it, but you can't take it? Not very equal, if you ask me.

You apparently suck at being a feminist.

and you suck at debate. Your only defense is "I have a pussy and thus only my opinion matters"

You're a terrible feminist considering you allow yourself to get taken advantage of on a daily basis.

Who the fuck are you to ask me when the last time I picked up a tab? when me and my boyfriend go out to eat, I pay 75% of the time.

Oh, it all makes sense now. o wonder you're a raging maniac.

Not to mention, you're an awful feminist. Paying 75% of the time? You THAT ugly that you have to go above the 50/50 mark and pay him to go out with you? Feminism is about equality. You are not practicing what you preach or you wouldn't deal with paying 75% of the time.

It seems that your issue is you let men abuse you willingly. So please, don't dare speak about how men do it to you when you're openly accepting and willing to pay 3/4th of the time.

What is your problem? Anyone that is assaulted and could loose the ability to have children from that is a victim of violence. Shut the fuck up thus is possibly just as bad or even worse because abortion can stop the pregnancy and does not inhibit ones ability to reproduce while this could stop men from even have a choice to have have kids entirely

What is your problem? Anyone that is assaulted and could loose the ability to have children from that is a victim of violence. Shut the fuck up thus is possibly just as bad or even worse because abortion can stop the pregnancy and does not inhibit ones ability to reproduce while this could stop men from even have a choice to have have kids entirely

The 4-1-1 On Me

He joined the ranks of being a professional writer in 2007 and at the time of this writing is yet to be fired. He was born in Los Angeles and has worked on a number of films and TV shows. So he's got that going for him. Which is nice. You can find my scribbles and mind rants on this and various other websites. Updated daily with social commentary/comedy as a method to keep on writing.