Today's discussion, in your DIY Divorce, is around self improvement as well as negotiation, to gain both yourself and your soon to be ex-partner a win-win divorce outcome.

Improve

One of the true values I gained from my own divorce was the multitude of learnings.

There is life after divorce and I used the divorce event to discover more about myself, what behaviours I needed to grow in and take decisive steps to continually improve my life – that’s a tremendously powerful step to take to become a better human being and, in our case, a better man.

Think about it for a minute.

Your past relationships. Where do you think you could have improved in the partnership? Perhaps you weren’t the best in communicating your thoughts, maybe you weren’t as loving as you could have been, temper get in the way or even untruthful. Whatever the reasons, they’re really signposts on the road to improvement.

It’s vitally important to actually write down and list these areas or you’ll simply forget.

Write them down and then note what you need to improve on and take affirmative action. From a Law of Attraction point of view, when you think what you want, you’ll move closer to fulfilment of those desires. Desire to become better than you are.

Negotiate

When it comes to divorce, there’s that matter of dividing the spoils. And it’s often a very emotional time for both sides. And equally this is the area when frustration, anger, jealousy and hurt. And those are pure negative emotions and energy – the very things that’ll destroy any chance of a win-win scenario.

Be open and willing to negotiate – remember, you’re wanting a win-win in the entire outcome and this includes the divorce settlement. To achieve this outcome, you already understand, from my previous posts, that the relationship with your ex-partner is to be respectful. To this end, negotiation means the outcome needs to be the best way, not your way and not their way – the best way.

You’ll recognise the respectful outcome is worth far more to you both emotionally than grabbing at a little more money.

As I mentioned in Winning In Dealing With Divorce – Part 2 – Reality of this series, detaching yourself from the money aspect and you will gain more in other areas.