Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

1. I found out who Diane Kruger is. She's a starlet type who has been in some crappy movies like Troy and National Treasure.

And he passed his exam like that.

Sly, the Floridians among us (Dave, Judi, Trystan, etc.) can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they even give eye chart tests down there anymore. I think you can just renew your license with no test at all.

Peri, ouch! I was just reading about a town in Minnesota (Embarrass, if you can believe it) where the temperature -- not wind chill - hit -54 degrees.

Peri (again). I've never tried Buckley's but their advertising brags about how awful the taste is, as if that was a prerequisite for it working. Frankly, I don't see why cough syrup can't work without tasting awful, but I guess that's their shtick and they're going with it.

As for Kevin Spacey, he has been beaten up in London and New York, both times after allegedly picking up "rough trade" on the street. Be careful out there, Kevin!

Yes, Jeff, once was in Hyde Park, I remember - you would think people with that kind of money could just pay for someone and not have to subject themselves to the vagaries of the street!
But then again, maybe that's part of the allure -

OK - since I'm not one of the original MOATers, what's a "fromunda"?????

Wow, went out of town for the weekend and nearly busted my browser when I came back and tried to load the old MOAT- thanks to all those who scouted the new one. (We're in London, now right?)

LTTG on all of these, and not done yet, but I don't think I can finish this in one session:

Peri: (from Friday) *blushes* Awww, shucks. Ah, if only some of you lovely female bloglits lived on Long Island...

Peri II: On "Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations" -Geez, and I thought *I* was a sci-fi geek. *winks*

Blogchik: On being perturbed with the BF: Try to be patient with him? We men can be dense, and long-distance is hard, especially when there are eight time zones involved. On careers: You have plenty on your plate with school and your current writing project. I'd say deal with the here-and-now before you lose sleep worrying about 5 years from now. Do NOT challenge my status as grand high worrywort- it's not a title you want, believe me. *wink, grin, and a nudge*

Sorry, calculation correction...we'll need at least 2 of these for 100x100. 3 or 4 should make it balmy. Who volunteers to carry Peri and Jamie's jacuzzi and pass them drinks? (champagne for Peri and OJ for Jamie)

Oh...for those that were interested. I finally did get the nerve up to ask Rach to live with me. After she questioned me ("I've never lived with a man...what have you found to be the good guidelines? Housework? Shopping? Cooking? Cleaning?") and me stammering and trying to cope with the intelligent questions (For a nerd I'm more of the emotional type, mostly all I could come up with was "we just treat each other well").

So, to quickly sum up today, thus far, we have lusted after a celebrity doctor, critiqued fashions at the Golden Globes, lusted after certain globes at the Golden Globes, questioned a certain celebrity's sexuality (not that it's a bad thing), cried over the tsunami, some of us are freezing our ramparts, some of us are basking in balmy sunshine, a Big Question was asked, English papers are waiting to be graded.....

And this our first day in a Kangaroo's scrotum.

Basically, just another day in Moatland.

Why again are we in a Kangaroo's scrotum?

I'm off to bed.

*makes note to self to bring Febreeze tomorrow as Kangaroo's scrotums aren't as spring-fresh as one would think.*

This is not a teaser.. but I will have to get some sleep soon... and I will see you in the morning (or possibly early afternoon)... I don't know whether to laugh or cry that I got back in time for the ScroatMoat..... or to ponder as to whether or not it's scarily appropriate

Okay, my attempt to remedy the computer last night failed, but I've eliminated "bad hard drive" as the problem. I guess it's the power supply. I'll have to get out and buy a new one this weekend and see if that fixes it.

In the mean time, I'm really behind on two things here at work because, well, it's dull and boring and I can't concentrate on it for crap. I'm going to try to knock them both out by the end of the week. So, if you see me post in the ScoatMOAT, yell at me and tell me to get to work!

I had forgotten that the term 'fromunda' came up on the blog once before, but hopefully it has cleared up what Fromunda cheese is? And where it comes from? And why slyeyes needs to spray the place down with Febreeze?

*wheels in tray of iced coffee*
*wheels it out quickly when she sees how cold everyone is*

Good morning everyone from sunny so.ca. - There will be NO weather report today because the local TV weather guy said we should be embarassed by our great weather when so much of the country is freeeeezing -

It's a beautiful 5 degrees here in the Queen City! Sorry I've been gone. It's been hectic around here!

Leetie,
Delaying school because it's cold, indeed. That's ridiculous. Do they really think it's going to get that much warmer in 2 hours?

TLBB is doing fine, not sleeping too much, but we think we've got a system implemented. For some reason he won't nurse after about 9:00 at night, then he pitches a fit because he's hungry. Since the doctor wants us to give him a bottle a day (whether it's formula or breastmilk) I'm giving him a bottle at night. 4 ounces. Knocks him right out for hours on end. Last night he fell asleep at 11:00 and didn't wake up until almost 5 this morning. Pretty much the same the night before.

Leetie- when I was growing up, there was a story (probably urban legend) that the superindenent of schools in Rochester, New York, had a unique system for deciding when to close schools for winter weather. He would call the roads department, school buses, etc., but if it was a borderline situation, he would let his dog decide. If he opened the door and his dog went outside willingly, schools opened. If the dog wouldn't go out, he closed the schools.

Shortly after this information became public, through a too-candid interview, the superindent's dog, a german shepherd, died.

A group of students in his school district pitched in and bought him a chihuahua.

In my mind, boogers are good things. After all, without boogers, we'd have to rely on less funny bodily functions for our comedy. We'd also have a lot of dirt and what not in our sinus cavities, which can't be a good thing.

However, I fully believe that Dirty Sinus Cavities WBAGNFARB or maybe a rock song.

What do you say Leetie? Can Taco Cat do a rocking rendition of Dirty Sinus Cavities as an Ode to the Booger?

On second thought, maybe Ode to a Booger would be a great name for the next Freemont A. Pustule poem.

I disagree that it's ridiculous to delay because of cold. There are a number of factors to consider:
- Is it "dangerously cold?" That is, is it cold enough to cause frost bite quickly?
- Are you in an area where it typically doesn't get that cold?
- Are they in a school system with a lot of families that may be at or near poverty level?
- Do most of the students ride a bus to school?

It would make sense in this case to delay until the weather warms up enough that the kids can get to school in warmer temperatures, because many of them would probably not have suitable winter-wear to protect them.

Just my thoughts on the subject. But then, I'm a computer programmer, so what do I really know?

Jeff - did you note that I said your story was better which it was, and it made me laugh out loud (is that what LOL is?) which was a nice thing to be able to do after being in an accident!

And Jeff, speaking of "friends", I worked with a woman once who, every time someone mentioned that they or a family member was sick with something or other, she interrupted and said she knew someone who died from that very same thing! Now that was annoying! You were just funny and I was teasing you!

Also, how could I not love someone who posted a picture of Dr. Sanjay Gupta (is that a great name of what!) to make me feel better!!!!!

Funny story about LOL. A couple or 10 years ago, when I was new to the world of chat rooms and message boards, I used to leave every single one of them after about 5 minutes. You might ask the reason. It would be this:
You see, since nobody told me what LOL actually meant, me and my high self esteem took it to mean Loser On-Line. Up until about 2 years ago, I didn't visit any chats or anything because I thought everyone was flaming me.

Thanks, Jamester. Lunch break, and my project is STILL rebuilding. This is such tedious work. No wonder I keep avoiding it.

Plus, have you ever noticed how, if you are really quick at getting your work done, you end up doing about three times more than everyone else?

I'm really starting to hate my career choice. In two years, my son will turn 18 and I will no longer be paying child support. Depending on what kind of work the Wench is doing at that time, maybe I'll be able to get out of this lousy business and do something I like.

re: the stuff about how they have worse stories -
reminds me of the monty python sketch from their flying circus. did i mention i got the whole collection for christmas? anyways, it was rather humorous and your discussion reminded me of it. that is all.

Nice digs... I'm suprised it took (us) this long to find a home devoted to the male anatomy...unfortunately, I must save my catching up for another day. The Boss-lady that is almost the ex-Boss-lady wants me to drive clear to the other side of the city. I won't even be in the same County ! (My county is biiiiig... it takes a lot of travelling to get to the next one, ergo, I'll be in my car all frickin' day!)

Just wanted to add this to the ongoing Ugly Guy/Hot Chick convo: (If someone mentioned it, sorry!) Rick Ocasek & Paulina Porizkova. Notable quote from that relationship in Rolling Stone: RS Paulina - how do you stay so thin? PP Oh I don't really have a plan, I just eat whatever I want and have LOTS of sex with my husband.

J's Note: The quote isn't verbatim, was relayed by my hubby who told me the story. Apparently he and all his Jr. High buddies were scarred by that image... he still remembers where he was and which friend read him the interview.

In Other News... I'm *apparently* not on Penis Probation like I feared last week... do I even need to mention that Feast of the Ass ended with a bang? (Pun intended?)

Well, as I write this I'm on interminable hold with "stupid woman who hit my car" insurance company - terrible music! Now the real aggravation begins!

So, just to kill time, here's a flooding update - Yesterday the guy-who-cleans-up-this-kind -of- mess showed up and his first remark was, "Well, I didn't have any trouble finding your house because it's the only one on the block with water on the street from running down your driveway"
ba-da-dum insider industry humor, no doubt-

still on hold 8 minutes and counting!

to continue: he then went into downstairs flooded apartment, touched the carpet in a few places in a very important manner, and then stated, "still wet!" Thank you.
He then placed large fan to dry everything out, and in process of moving couch he found - and announced with great fanfare - 2 lizard skeletons

still on hold - 13 minutes and counting
voice just came on to say if I wanted to leave a message instead of holding for the rest of the day, press 1 - I fell for it, pressed one and now just have more music!!!!

Lab, Fairfax County is not considered a poverty-prone area (it is actually the second wealthiest county in the country). As for the question of dangerously cold - it was in the single digits this morning, with wind chill in the minus single digits. Fairly typical, I think, for WINTERTIME.

Oh, you folks are going to eat this up. I found Kaye's audio/video defense of her study disertation. It's on her web site. And shortly you'll have the transcript of what she says about the Dave Barry blog.... it's either great, or we're missing allot!

morning all!! I think I've caught up... with the last few hours anyway. There's about an hour before I have to leave for work... I'm not out of my pj's and I haven't eaten, but I have had coffee, so the important stuff is done.

One the hot chick/ugly guy thing, it's not exactly related but I remember reading an interview with Mel Gibson jsut after he was voted world's sexiest soemtime back in the '80's... (he still does it for me.. well, him or George Clooney... him AND George Clooney is okay too!) *FOCUS!!* Okay, well what he said was that he didn't consider himself sexy, and most days he woke up, and when he looked in the mirror, he wondered what his wife saw in him and why she stayed, so the world's sexiest thing was just a bit of a joke to him.

I could have told him why, but he probably wouldn't have taken the opinion of one young teen on the other side of the world as seriously as I did. My point in this whole ramble is that beauty is a relative thing and that if someone loves you, that what they see when they look at you is different from what the world sees. And that is why comb-overed, potbellied, butt-ugly guys are still pulling women, to this very day

If you do that, the spies will know that Kay was right and our plan to take over the world using only Scottish scrotums and booger jokes will be exposed!! (pun sorta intended). Leave it where it is, in the Insanity file

Lab...If you're looking at power supply issues and hard drive issues together, here's a wild one for ya. I once found that a computer was doing some really goofy stuff (ie broken) because the hard drive was plugged into the same wire chain as the CPU fan. CPU fan was glitchy and throwing feedback. I just plugged the hard drive into a different set of wires and all was well. (oh, changed CPU fan also). A long shot buit worth looking at.

Just...tomorrow is Penguin Awareness Day. Today is Winnie the Pooh Day (I find it funny that the link is to just-pooh.com)

live fleas would give you a new lease on life... you'd be jumping and wriggling and scratching.... aside from the no one wanting to come near you for fear of infestation, it sounds like fun. Of course, if you were sick of all your friends and family, that could be a good thing too. At least you'd have us... fleas don't travel through modem cables... I think...

Josh: Thanks for the tip. I'm still thinking power supply, because of two MAJOR clues:

A) I held the power button down for three seconds to shut the machine off. It shut off. I wandered over to the sofa to watch X-Files on DVD. After some unmeasured amount of time, the computer turned itself on all by itself!

yes, kibby I did - I was afraid to download that - having anxiety attack due to being on hold ( see above) - after 25 minutes a real person came on, said, "Oh you want to report a claim,please hold" and transferred me back to the music!!!!

Stephen King is supporting "Not One Damn Dime" day this Thursday, Inauguration Day. You can see his statement on stephenking.com, or you can check out this website for more of the political "foofarah."

Not trying to get political, just thought it was interesting. I hadn't heard about it before.

kibby, that didn't work either, but I want to thank you very much for your help and support - my Xanax has now kicked in and I am really beyond caring about anything and I will NOT call "stupid woman Ins.co" again today -

I am however, eating a baked potato in order to restore my potassium levels....

And testing out Dragon NaturallySpeaking.
This is pretty cool. I went to get my mail this morning. And saw that someone had posted they were selling it. Unfortunately, it has now taken me five minutes to do this when I could have typed it in about 20 seconds.

Oh well. Was actually kind of away from computers Sunday. Monday did the far far too early on-air thing, then took a nice nap...then had to go out and set up a broadcast of a MLK program...that went on for over 2 hours. Not as bad as previous years...but not my favorite place to be. Very definitly a minority at that. There were a few other white faces, but I was the only female one I feel sure. I just stayed up in the balcony monitoring the remote broadcast. And I did not sing. What is the protocal when "Lift Ev'ry Voice", the Mational Negro Anthem, is sung, and one is not Negro? I didn't want to be rude and not sing, but standing up there singing didn't seem to be the thing to do either.

And I think that is about the 4th or 5th time I have had to do that broadcast. Surely someone else could handle it.

And on a totally different note, it's not exactly an earworm, but it appeared out of nowhere and I am going to share.

I would have to say I'm with ya there... 'course, I almost gave the hubby a heart attack the first time he got the Victorias Secret bill, so THAT'S why I had to keep em all till they are Holey... *shrug*
Otherwise - have you SEEN how much they cost nowadays? I'm catagorically opposed to the so-called-granny-panties, and they are the only cheap ones... so if ya kept buying new pairs (why are they called a pair when its only one?) every time they started to lose some of the newness I think it would be possible to go broke in oh... under a year?
Besides, a hole or two never hurt anyone. :)