Are My KIds Watching Too Much TV?

Q: How can you tell if your kids are watching too much TV? Mine are 2 and 5.

A: Remember the old saying about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well, the same could be said of too much TV. If you think your kids might be watching the TV too much, then they are, say The Family Project 's parenting panelists.

And, as a parent, they say, nothing is stopping you from changing that. Still, if you're wondering how much TV is too much, there are some objective signs you might want to look for in getting a handle on whether TV watching in your family has gone over the edge.

Do your kids still spend a good portion of their time doing normal kid things unrelated to television, like playing outdoors, being with friends, doing homework, reading, playing with toys and pets and visiting with other family members? Then maybe the TV hasn't gotten the upper hand. However, if the kids seem more interested in what's on TV than what's going on in their own lives or the lives of their family members and friends, if they are endlessly urging you to buy things they've seen on TV, imitating violence they see there or becoming overweight from lack of non-sedentary activity or grumpy when the TV is limited or off, then maybe the TV does indeed need to be tamed at your house.

Here's a rule of thumb. Although statistics show in 90 percent of American homes the TV is on nearly 8 hours a day, and the average child watches 22-28 hours a week, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that two hours of "quality television programming" per day is "the maximum recommended" for children up to age 5. Children under 2 shouldn't watch TV at all, according to the academy specialists. With all the talk about the role of television and children after Sept. 11, 2001, you may know why. Children at 5 still can't distinguish TV from reality very well. That TV carries many images that might be disturbing to children is one reason for limiting it. Children 2 and under are at a stage of brain development in which they need interaction with, and stimulation by, other people to learn.

Plus, there is good research showing that watching a lot of TV, with its rapidly changing images, affects brain functioning and development all the way through childhood. Here's the conclusion of a study done by the National Institute of Mental Health: "Extensive exposure to television and video games may promote development of brain systems that scan and shift attention at the expense of those that focus attention."

That means that when children spend a lot of time watching TV, they are passively letting their attention be captured externally, tossed hither and yon by the rapidly changing images, rather than having the experience of controlling their attention from within. That doesn't bode well for academic or life-skills learning they'll need as they grow up. And all that doesn't even take into consideration the potent influence of the content of what's being watched, or the fact that much of TV programming's purpose is to deliver an audience -- your children -- to a commercial sponsor. Even children older than 5 aren't very good at seeing that truth.

You have to decide how much exposure to TV you want for your children. "If you could personify TV as a person, it would be a pretty slick, fast-talking, overdressed, materialistic salesman of questionable products with questionable values," comments panelist Marcie Lightwood. Adds panelist Bill Vogler: "Would you as a parent let a powerful person into your child's life four or five hours a day without any control over what they are telling them and without knowing who they are?"

Ask yourself what positive things your kids could be doing instead of watching TV, says guest panelist Tina Amato. "You would be shocked at how many kids have a TV in their bedrooms -- 56 percent of kids aged 8 to 16," she says. "Thirty percent of those kids say they usually or always watch in their bedroom, which means they're probably eating or not doing anything else." On the other hand, panelists say, TV can be a positive influence on children, too. As panelist Denise Continenza puts it: "It's kids' window to the world."

As PBS's "Sesame Street" and other programming shows, TV can help kids learn, bringing them information and experiences they'd never be able to have otherwise. The key, panelists say, is to maximize the time kids spend on good TV experiences. "TV is a such a potent force in a family," says guest panelist Janice Lovegrove, "and I'm not sure most parents understand what the impact is on their children."

So educate yourself. When you watch TV, ask yourself why you're watching a particular program and if it helps or hurts the way you want your family to live. And if you're reluctant to control the TV more, ask yourself if it's because it's taught you not to. "You can put a limit on it," says panelist Joanne Nigito. "You're the parent."

familyproject@mcall.com 610-820-6562 The Family Project is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by the Valley Youth House program Project Child, the Lehigh Valley's child-abuse prevention coalition.

Decide how much TV your family will watch. Use a program guide and watch the specified shows together. Teach your kids to watch specific shows, not just watch to "see what's on." Don't use the TV as a pacifier or babysitter. Use the VCR. Tape shows you know the family would like to watch and plan times to watch them rather than letting what's on TV control when you watch. Have young children watch videos instead of television to control content. Move the TV to a place of less prominence. Does it dictate your living room or family room design? Do you have a set in every room? This sends the message that TV must be important, everywhere and immediately accessible. At the least, keep TV out of children's bedrooms. Discuss why you limit TV with your children. Explain why you select the programs you do. Involve them in selecting programs. Interact when you watch TV. Talk about what you see and hear with your kids. Talk back to the set as a way of expressing your opinions about content and attitudes, such as violence, sexism, racism, materialism. Consider a time limit. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours of quality television per day. Have TV-free zones, such as mealtimes. Watch programs that expand your children's world. Follow up on things they watch with additional learning through books, the Internet or a globe. Plan family outings away from the TV. Don't just nag kids about getting off the couch. Become more active together. Look for things your kids or family might enjoy such as bowling, biking, rock-climbing, skating or sledding. Assign kids chores. It gives them something other than TV to do. TV can then be an "after you're done" reward. Let kids watch TV just for entertainment. Watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or pro sports, for example, can be fun and may help your children make friends because they have something in common to talk about. Look at your own TV use. Children learn from what they see, and not only what's on TV. Finally, get rid of your TV -- or try unplugging it for a shorter period of time, such as a week. See how your family life changes.

Rosa Salter

RESOURCES Here are some resources for parents concerned about their children's TV watching: http://childrentoday.com/resources/articles/settvlimits.htm www.thelutheran.org/9902/page29.html "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV," written by Stan Berenstain and illustrated by Jan Berenstain (Random House), $3.25, 32 pp. (paperback); designed for children 3-8. http://abcnews.go.com/sections/living/DailyNews/kidtv010430.html www.aces.edu/dept/extcomm/newspaper/april19d01.html www.tvturnoff.org, the site of the TV-Turnoff Network, sponsor of a national week that aimed at having parents turn off the family TV. A local contact with the TV-Turnoff Network is dietitian Tina Amato at the Allentown Health Bureau, who can provide written information at 610-437-7581.

THE TOPIC TEAM Parenting experts who helped with this installment of The Family Project : Tina Amato, registered dietitian for the Allentown Health Bureau and coordinator of National Turn Off the TV Week. Denise Continenza, family living specialist for Penn State University's Lehigh County Cooperative Extension, South Whitehall Township. Ann Friedenheim, clinical supervisor for Confront, Allentown. Anita Harbor, educational consultant for the Center for Humanistic Change, Bath. Marcie Lightwood, program coordinator for Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House. Janice Lovegrove, senior director of community impact, United Way of the Greater Lehigh Valley, Bethlehem. Joanne Nigito, registered play therapist and parenting educator, Bethlehem. Bill Vogler, executive director of Family and Counseling Services of the Lehigh Valley, Allentown.