No more dumb old dad: Changing the bumbling father stereotype

By Josh Levs, CNN

Updated 1220 GMT (1920 HKT) June 15, 2012

Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Our favorite TV dads – James Avery, who died at 68 on December 31, portrayed one of the most beloved fictional dads on TV as "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air's" Philip Banks. With his combination of heart, humor and awesome sweater collections, Avery's Uncle Phil is one of our favorite TV dads.

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Danny Tanner, 'Full House' – He didn't let D.J. go to school wearing a crop top, or skip class to get Stacey Q's autograph, but he was a pretty rad dad. On "Full House," this single father (Bob Saget) and morning talk show host taught the value of spring-cleaning, along with life lessons such as, "Don't back a concrete mixer into the kitchen." Just don't move the baking soda in his sock drawer. He'll notice.

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Cliff Huxtable, 'The Cosby Show' – Who could forget this colorful sweater-wearing, jazz-loving doc from Brooklyn? Actor Bill Cosby became one of TV's favorite dads when he served up tough love to his five children on "The Cosby Show." He set the tone when he famously admonished his son, Theo, for his messy room in the pilot episode. He said, "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out." Plus, he deserves credit for coming up with a pretty creative punishment for underage drinking. Right, Vanessa?

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Ward Cleaver, 'Leave It to Beaver' – Long held as the prototype for the "perfect dad," Ward Cleaver (played by Hugh Beaumont) has resonated with families for decades -- from Mayfield to Miami. On "Leave It to Beaver," he was the paradigm of sage advice and discipline for Wally and Beaver. Not to mention, he was a whiz on the barbecue. A stiff white collar has never looked so good ... or paternal.

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Cameron Tucker, 'Modern Family' – It's hard to honor just one dad from "Modern Family," but Cam's (Eric Stonestreet) never-ending devotion to adopted daughter, Lily, has landed him on our list. He won us over when he carried out "every father's dream" by building Lily a princess castle. It's hard to get sick of his pastel button-down shirts and charming insecurities. Cam put it best when he said, "I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy, and I dare you not to like me."

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Burt Hummel, 'Glee' – This blue-collar dad (played by Mike O'Malley) tore audiences' hearts out (in the best possible way) when his son, Kurt, came out to him during the first season of "Glee." The single dad put his football dreams for Kurt aside, saying, "If this is who you are, I love you just as much."

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Mike Brady, 'The Brady Bunch' – There aren't many men who could handle six children, a wife, a dog and a career as an architect, all while wearing tight plaid pants. Mike Brady (Robert Reed) took everything in stride on "The Brady Bunch." From camping in the Grand Canyon to grappling with the curse of the tiki idol in Hawaii, Mike endured the occasional headache while remaining hopelessly devoted to Carol.

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Ted Mosby, 'How I Met Your Mother' – We haven't technically seen his dad skills in action yet, but any guy who spends seven seasons telling his kids the story of how he met their mother can't be a bad dad. On "How I Met Your Mother," Ted (Josh Radnor) is adorably unlucky in love, but the audience knows it won't last. Future Ted's voiceover (Bob Saget) is endearing and funny as he shares stories about his single life in Manhattan.

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Our favorite TV dads11 photos

Charles 'Pa' Ingalls, 'Little House on the Prairie' – Michael Landon as Charles "Pa" Ingalls on "Little House on the Prairie" made many of us wish we lived on the frontier. He was just the greatest dad.

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Homer Simpson, 'The Simpsons' – How can you not love Homer Simpson as much as he loves donuts? While not the sharpest knife in the draw, he definitely loves his wife and kids.

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Jack Arnold, 'The Wonder Years' – Gruff yet lovable, Jack (played by Dan Lauria) worked through the daily grind of middle management on "The Wonder Years." He later taught his son Kevin the value of entrepreneurship when he opened a furniture business. There was something comforting about Jack's straight-shooting style and inner softie.

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Story highlights

Fathers like Chris Routly are fed up with their portrayal as inept buffoons on TV

Routly created a petition against Huggies commercials that showcased clueless dads

Huggies revamped its ad campaign after Routly and others objected to it

There's a movement under way among dads in America that's changing what you see on TV.

Across the country, more and more are fed up -- and rising up against the stereotype of the inept, clueless father.

"This wasn't just that they had created a bumbling dad character or that sort of thing or just excluding dad," like so many other TV portrayals, he said. "They were using language that was really saying dads are terrible at this stuff."

Huggies took action.

On Facebook, the company praised dads and said its intention was to "break out of stereotypes." And Huggies officials called Routly, giving him a list of steps they were taking to show fathers in a better light.

Soon, Huggies issued new ads featuring dads caring for their toddlers. Last month, the NYC Dads Group heaped praise on them for "raising the bar" in how a father was portrayed.

Huggies isn't the first to run into frustration from consumers rejecting what they view as an outdated, inaccurate trope. AT&T angered some with an ad about a father who somehow couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of wireless Internet.

The image of the hapless dad has long roots in American pop culture. A study of comics as far back as the 1940s found "incompetent" fathers and other mocking portrayals resurging at times across the decades.

But TV didn't start skewering dads frequently until much later, says Bob Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University.

While dads in "Leave It to Beaver" and "The Donna Reed Show" had flaws, they were close to what was then thought of as "perfect," part of an idealized white American family. Later, shows such as "The Cosby Show," "Family Ties," "Growing Pains" and "Full House" showcased caring dads of a new generation, Thompson says.

But by the late 1980s, more shows wanted to distance themselves "from the corny, syrupy stuff" -- and in stepped shows such as "Married With Children" and "The Simpsons."

It's only natural that comedies would take on dads, Thompson says.

"Comedy is about inversion -- taking people who are in authority and control and making them the butt of jokes." So in a society "that has been so dominated by men... comedy is naturally going to play against that."

Dads on TV today are presented in so many different ways that it's impossible to say things are getting better or worse, he says.

From the stay-at-home dad in "Up All Night" to the lovable dads in "Modern Family," relatively positive portrayals abound. Thompson says the growing push for "recognizable" dads who reflect today's realities are probably to credit for these characters.

Meanwhile, dramas such as "Game of Thrones" and "Mad Men" show such bad fathers that "you'd beg social services" to put their children in a foster home with Al Bundy, he jokes.

Plus, thanks to modern media, people now can always create their own videos about dads and, sometimes, watch them go viral.

To some, the idea that anyone would be upset over this stereotype is ridiculous.

Huggies' Facebook page has hundreds of posts from women and men saying they found the original ads funny. "The problem these days is everyone has lost their sense of humor," Christine Lee wrote.

And every group of people -- including moms -- gets caricatured and stereotyped on TV.

Do some dads just need to lighten up?

No, says Chris Routly. There's a growing rejection of stereotypes in general -- and that should apply to dads as well, he argues.

He's also concerned that boys and men "see the bumbling dad ... and think that's what's expected of them," the stay-at-home father of two told me by phone while baking chips for his kids out of kale from his garden. "They're not expected to be good, so they rise to the low bar that's set for them."

And it can lead girls and women to have low expectations for how their husbands will handle fatherhood, he says.

Part of the problem, Routly says, is that a lot of people believe negative stereotypes really apply to far more dads than they do.

I ran into that myself last year. A column on CNN.com by a stay-at-home father complained that "most" dads "just wanna chill in front of SportsCenter with a bowl of chips" after work and complain to their stay-at-home wives about how hard they work. On his blog, the writer railed against the "millions of dads who view their days at home as recovery from work."

I responded with a long list of studies showing how well dads are actually doing, including this from Pew Research: "Almost all fathers who live with their children take an active role in their day-to-day lives through activities such as sharing meals, helping with homework and playing."

While by far most of the responses I received were positive, some were from angry people insisting the negative depictions must accurately describe the average dad.

Routly says he received hate mail after launching his petition. "There are people who are so invested in maintaining these kinds of roles and stereotypes that they felt like they needed to attack me."

But he also heard from men thanking him and sharing stories of custody battles and judges who assumed they weren't as good at parenting simply because they're men.

While there's seriousness behind their complaints about the stereotype, these dads insist they can take a joke.

"By and large, men are willing to laugh at themselves," says Holland. "But there just becomes a point where you say, 'OK, the first 400 of these were funny.' "

And Thompson of the Bleier Center, himself a dad, says he enjoys laughing at these depictions, which exaggerate characteristics of some fathers, even today.

"As long as there are clueless bumbling men there will be clueless bumbling dads," he says. "I'm sure there were clueless bumbling cavemen. Actually, his name was Fred Flintstone!"