Travel Tips For Marijuana Smugglers Driving Through Wyoming

The Wyoming Highway Patrol just made another big pot bust. Yesterday, they announced the arrest of a California man, who was caught with 342 pounds of marijuana in the town of Sundance.

Just in time for 4/20, here are a few travel tips for any would-be pot smugglers driving through Wyoming.

1. Drive the speed limit. If you have 342 pounds of weed in the car, slow down. And while you’re at it, use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes.

2. Don’t toke up in the car. You have a small fortune vacuum sealed and hidden away. Don’t dip into your stash and light one up on the road. That’s just stupid.

3. After leaving California, don’t take Interstate 80 through Wyoming. Take a detour south on I-70 through Colorado instead. Everyone in Colorado is high. If a cop pulls you over and smells weed in the car, just tell him you’re an Uber driver and your last passenger was a pothead.

4. Instead of driving a U-Haul truck, get a hearse, put on a black suit and hide your weed in a coffin. The chances of a police officer pulling over a hearse are slim. And if they smell something weird coming from a coffin, they’ll probably give you the benefit of the doubt.

5. Shave your head and pretend to be sick. Before your cross country trip, go on a diet and lose 50 pounds. If you’re bald, skinny and covered in band-aids, the authorities might cut you some slack if, and when, you get busted.