“Spang” – Why You Might Do It For A Klondike Bar

What is "spang" you say? Is it even a word? Do you dare read further to find out the definition, at least my definition?

Spang is actually something I haven't thought about in the last 30 years. When you hear what it is you might actually wish you weren't thinking about it now. What brought the "spang" back to my conscious mind was this simple question.

The question is innocent enough, a lot of us would go to great lengths to enjoy the creamy ice cream center and delightful chocolate coating of a Klondike Bar. Most people would be willing to do little things like kiss a dog on the nose or ask for a corndog at Burger King drive through.

Those deeds for a Klondike Bar might seem outrageous but they are mild compared to the scenarios we used to propose to one another. Here is where we get to the word "spang".

Let me set the scene, a small apartment inhabited by college age boys. Perhaps there was beer involved but I tend to forget thanks to the passage of time and brain cells. There is but one Klondike Bar in the freezer and three hungry men who wanted it. Let the bidding begin.

The ownership and enjoyment of the Klondike Bar finally came down to one word, "spang". Being a college kid there were only a few items that were consistent to my apartment. I had a blender. I had a certain orange drink mix the astronauts took to the moon and I had meat in a can.

Blend Tang with Spam, add water and ice and you've got "spang".Would you drink it for a Klondike Bar? Good luck trying to get that mental image and false sense of taste out of your mouth for the rest of the day. I hope I didn't cause your gag reflex to begin functioning, if I did, I apologize.