Being a true friend means not trying manage a situation to get what you need, to avoid conflict, or merely to please, perhaps at the expense of other's growth or your own integrity. Beware of those tendencies, that may be habitual or even hidden from you.

To be a true friend, recognize friendship as a divine gift. See your friendship as something holy that exist in the space between you. Know that Love tends to our relationships. Trust Love's tending - and be willing to take a risk to be honest, to ask for what you need, to not try so hard. Trust Love to reveal to you how to best be a friend to someone else, how to be present with their pain or questions or confusion, how to love in a way that nurtures and respects yourself and the other person.

Know, then, that Love is the artist and you are the drawing and kindness is the medium. Feel Love's kindness in every line of your being. Feel kindness as your substance.

If you had a human parent or early authority figures who were prone to harsh judgement, know that that voice--which was only a mistake--does not need to govern you anymore. Kindness has authority and truth and power.

We tend to be ashamed of any physical or emotional weakness or vulnerability in ourselves; therefore, we deny and ignore it, shame it, or try to overcome it with force of will and by controlling ourselves or others. All of these are temporary and ineffective fixes. We must respond to our places of weakness and vulnerability with great tenderness and unconditional love - and without blame. Embrace yourself with compassion. This is not the same as indulging yourself with self-justification and pity, which ultimately exacerbates the shame cycle. This is letting the love of Love flow through you and accepting you are worthy, no matter your circumstances. This habit of self-compassion around weakness will lead you to clarity, strength, and an open heart.

We often have deeply buried shame about failures (real or perceived) or losses, which we avoid remembering or thinking about, but which leave us with a mysterious sense of heaviness or anxiety. Today, know that there is nothing hidden from Love. Wherever we feel shame, Love is present with unconditional care - wrapping us in tenderness and forgiveness - teaching us how to love ourselves, let go, make amends, see more clearly, release burdens. Today, let Love transform shame.

Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art explains the resistance we feel to taking new and positive steps in our life. This Resistance, he says, is universal and impersonal and the enemy of your work. He writes:

"The following is a list, in no particular order, of those activities that most commonly elicit Resistance:1) The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art, however marginal or unconventional.2) The launching of any entrepreneurial venture or enterprise, for profit or otherwise.3) Any diet or health regime.4) Any program of spiritual advancement.5) Any activity whose aim is tighter abdominals.6) Any course or program designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction.7) Education of every kind.8) Any act of political, moral, or ethical courage, including the decision to change for the better some unworthy pattern of thought or conduct in ourselves.9) The undertaking of any enterprise or endeavor whose aim is to help others.10) Any act that entails commitment of the heart. The decision to get married, to have a child, to weather a rocky patch in a relationship. 11) The taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity.In other words, any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity. Or expressed another way, any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower. Any of these will elicit Resistance."

Today, recognize that the self-doubt, second guessing, and fear you feel may be nothing more than Resistance, which really has no power over you except the power of suggestion.

Today, recognize that Love is the source of your energy and intelligence and capacity. You do not need to manufacture motivation, will, or insight through your own effort. When you feel yourself tightening with effort, pause and feel Love as your source, moving through you like a powerful river. Ride that river.

Today, pause to check your intentions. Before an activity, interaction, or section of your day, ask yourself, "What is my intention?" Be honest with yourself, and if your answer is not as noble as you had hoped, thank yourself for your humility and honesty and embrace yourself with compassion. Then name an intention that feels healthy and healing and good for yourself and others. If your day is not too busy, you may even want to write down your intention for each next step of your day.

This is the time of year when we can become obsessed with self-improvement plans. Resist. Do not begin with what you perceive as a problem and your energetic plan to fix it. That impulse, although often coming from noble intentions, will often lead us astray: For example, we might focus on surface issues, comforting ourselves with the belief that we are being productive while not realizing that we have deeper problems in need of attention. We might ignore our need of rest - and the gift of rest that is being given to us. We might begin with the assumption that we are flawed and must fixed ourselves, without questioning whether we have an accurate read of our strengths and areas of growth.

Instead, begin by feeling Love embracing you, loving you just as you are in this moment. Feel Love permeating and holding you and delighting in you. When you feel the impulse to self-improve, pause first. Reach out to Love. Even if you cannot fully feel the presence of Love, even the intention will lead you into actions that are effective and healing.

Today, know that Life is our source and our destination. We are all born from Life. We live in Life. And when we pass what feels like the transition of death, it is into Life. Today, feel Life stretching out before and after this human lifetime. Feel that knowledge softening the fear of death.

We fear that if we give ourselves love, we will lose our drive, our edge; we will become sloppy or self-indulgent; we will excuse bad behaviors.

The opposite is true. Real, consistent love cultivates our humility and wisdom. This can go against our human logic, so we just have to experiment. Send love to yourself, regularly, faithfully, and see what happens.