Thursday, July 15, 2010

Look in your dictionary...

,turn to the page that reads "Terrible Twos," look at the picture. That's my child. I feel horribly about this! I really do! I honestly don't know what to do with Bailey. She is extremely opinionated. She SCREAMS if she wants something and I can't get it for her RIGHT THEN. This is a very hard time for a mommy. I do have a plan, though. Bailey isn't very regimented. We have no schedule. We don't eat on a schedule, sleep on a schedule, or play on a schedule. It's my fault but it's because I don't work over the summer (and neither does Zach) so we don't really have anything to do. I think Bailey is suffering though and I'm really emotional about it. I need to get her on a schedule. I have decided to print out some clocks and make a chart for her with stickers. I'll decide when we are going to do things like meals, snacks, bath, bed, and naps. Even if I set times between 9-10 for snack or whatever, at least we will be more structured than we are now.

I think I'm also really emotional because I am now on day 6 of the 2ww. There are babies EVERYWHERE! It seems like every other FB friend is either having their baby this week or finding out the sex of their baby this week. I really didn't think it would bother me. I have a beautiful little girl, how could I want anything more? But, I never only wanted one child. Now, I worry how long it's going to take to get another one. I don't know why I'm so upset about it but I just want to eat ice cream, not gain any weight from it, and cry. It doesn't help that there are people in my life who frequently comment "Well, maybe you can't have another one? I really don' think you will, I think something is wrong." I don't think they understand how horrible that feels. Unless you are a woman who wanted NOTHING more than to be a mom and then had to struggle to be one, you can't understand how that comment feels and even when I try to tell them that that is one of the meanest things to say, they still say it the next time we talk about me wanting another one. Anyway, I am hoping and praying that in 8 days I won't have to worry about it anymore.

And, I want to apologize to those of you who are still waiting for you FIRST one. I may not have waited as long as you but I literally was in anguish a lot worse than this, the first time around. I do understand how you feel and just know that I frequently pray for you!

I think that if I already had one I would feel the same way too. Dreams of being mommy often include having more than one child...

and it hurts when things are not as we have long dreamed them to be...sometimes it's hard for us infertiles to understand when someone is disappointed to have 3rd boy when they want to have a little girl so much... Now I know that it's not the same thing, but in a way it kind of is...

Baby Cub Cadet

Followers

Bailey is 4 years old!

About Me

Zach and I were married in July 2005. I started teaching 8th Grade in August 2006. In April 2007 after MANY months of trying, we finally found out we were going to be parents. In January 2008, Bailey Grace changed our lives forever for the better. After 2 more years of trying, Adilyn Cate entered our world on February 16, 2012. This is the story of us... Bailey's been praying for a brother...