Im
the least organized person with the greatest desire to be organized, so
I HAVE to write EVERYTHING down in my planner or else i will forget it
ALL, and then this week we were in uruguinana on exchanges and I FORGOT
MY PLANNER THERE and i almost cried/started questioning my whole life
because I cant function without my planner. So that was interesting.
This week the sisters are going to send it to me, so until then im kind
of coping.

I LOST MY COOL IN A LESSON SO HARD
YESTERDAY. Seriously, usually Im pretty good and trying to be patient
and stay calm when people reject everything I believe in, but YESTERDAY
we had a lesson with this 20 year old guy we met, and it wasnt going
very good just because he kind of wanted to tell us the whole time why
the igreja de graça is perfect and whatever. BUT I have ridiculous trust
in the power of the scripture Moroni 10:3-5 to bring the spirit and
invite them to pray and if they pray I KNOW THEYLL GET AN ANSWER. So the
whole time I was just thinking "okay we just need to get to the book of
mormon, lets get to moroni and he´ll be humbled and itll all be good"
and then we got to the part of the lesson, and I read him this scripture
and it was AWESOME until I asked him what he understood and he said
"God is god" or something like that that didnt have anything to do with
it, and i said "Okay yeah buddy thats true,but ACTUALLY this scripture
invites us to pray. do ou want me to read it again?" and he said "no, it
didnt even pray attention the first time because I dont believe in
anything it says in that book of the mormons"

OH
YOU GUYS, SOMETHING HIT ME IN THAT MOMENT, AND IT WASNT PATIENCE. I
literally could FEEL the anger rush through my whole body and heat up my
face because I could believe he said that and didnt even listen to the
scripture, and I pretty much exploded and said/yelled "OH REALLY? YOU
THINK PRAYER IS A LIE? BECAUSE THIS SCRIPTURE SAYS WE NEED TO PRAY, I
DIDNT KNOW YOU DIDNT BELIEVE IN THAT" and then he said "oh whoa okay
obnviously prayer is important" and i was like "YEAH OBVIOUSLY IT IS AND
OBVIOUSLY ITS TRUE AND OBVIOUSLY YOU NEED TO STOP DENYING GOD AND
DENYING THIS BOOK YOUVE NEVER EVEN READ" and then i said very loudly
some other things I dont remember in the heat (literally) of the moment
and at the end looked at sister carriel and said "ok im done, you can
finish talking to him now"

and the funniest
part was that we were with a member, a 17 year old girl from our ward,
and she kind of burned him too. But hey, it was a learning
experience.And I think thats the most angry ive ever gotten with one
person in one moment in my entire life. Amen.

The
best part of the week was my personal study this morning and I found an
article in the Liahona called "being weak is not a sin" and it was
WRITTEN EXACTLY FOR ME. Seriously, I had all this confusion because of
all my weaknesses and had convinced myself that I was done for because
Im not a perfect person, and this article completely calmed my heart and
answered all my questions and now I know that we dont have to repent
for our imperfections, we rely on gods grace to be humble and faithful
and be bette everyday! (so everyone go read it, april 2015 liahona)