August 15, 2008

At the midnight of 15th August 61 years ago A man addressed to a sleeping nation with hope and golden words full of inspiration, motivation and what not....Par Saale ke paach minute ab tak nahi huye...Yup the nation is still drowsy...guess who?? [Don't stare at the Nepali] well that one called India by the rest of the world and Bharat by its own people. Now I know that you are completely up and alert by 11.59 in the morning ready for a healthy brunch. But have you happened to gaze at the unnatural phenomenon called "President's speech addressing the nation."??Aaah..!! You have faint glimpses...of the t.v. and the morning mist...then some soft music playing far away...and then you sleeping off on the cold bare floor only to be woken up by the maid's broom's tickle up your nose...yes yes...Something like that.Now I'll tell you frankly that I never had what it takes to win the I-day challenge. But I do try every hell time.

Mrs. Patil...What a wonderful voice you've got...its really the gift of your unfortunate god. And by the way, do YOU write the speeches?? or that is done by someone else... .. .. Well I just wanted to check if you ever put any effort to that nationwide live telecast...had that speech been even a syllable long...I tell you all the recivers and the satellites and set top boxes would have exploded or hammered or shot themselves to death. Really.

So were you the head girl of your school or some thing?? or the one who has to face the brutalities of the morning 'ass'embly readings? If you are then you share my sympathies...Cause you really can't help but boring people...The sheer trauma of the thing is very great you see.

Well it started something like...I cant remember...but I do remember some small famous lines."..We shall not succumb to the terrorists...""...Our country will not let the scourge of terror..." *yawn*"..We will shine eco....and we will lead th..." *bloody really yawns while typing...pinky swear*

Its mediocre writing...but the desperate way you read it all from the ticker...its just pathetic. Really guys...you can see her eyes move when she talks...So what to do? you are the...WoMan nothing can be done about it.

*Man I really like the parade and stuff...but we really need a good speaker...the one who turns words to motivation...not motivation to sleep.*

Do you have an mp3 player?? Do you use any compression suites?? Well you're quite familiar to technology if you are reading this even if you may not understand this. Well I like to write in my blog and be read [which seldom happens].

Why's this guy talking about technology now?? Does he have something against it too?? Damn I wish He stop being such an asshole and get a life...

Hey, I can't do any thing about the asshole thing but certainly can get a life. So what is the purpose of my life that has made me so meagerly 'suck'cessful?? Well I like pissing people off and taking the other way round while getting things done.

Well getting back to technology. Well I don't hate it. I fear it...for one day it may take over us and the humans as we have known will be extinct. I...frankly don't have love for my fellow humans and all...seriously all that's totally gay...but I kinda like the stuff about being a bit human; you know the human spirit and the mind over matter and the iron will stuff...I like that...probably...I said probably the only thing in humans I like. And the technology my friends is robbing many people of that thing...not all but many people...mostly children. That is scary...way too scary than a naked Osama Bin Laden.

Think about it this way...we are making a pyramid in such a way that to make the upper level we have only the help of the current level we built. Up untill now we have been safely keeping the lower levels strong by maintaining them these are the basics that are very essential for our survival. But now due to that exponential growth and exposure to new and new appendages that augment our performance we are neglecting those basic levels...Not exactly conciously but the immenseness of the elevation, the power upgrade given to us by these things is making us unaware of the true human spirit...I mean its too fast enough and its getting faster.

Its making children believe that the person with the fastest car is the winner...the nation with the biggest nuke rules...but its not that...there have been instances where using those limited resources and achiveing much greater heights...progress was taking ourselves to the next level not acquiring the next level augment. We are not into robots but into empty cans...with nothing inside. And the easiest prey to this are the little ones...who never get to explore their own abilities or limits...

We are creating a fragile world that can be blotted out of existance in no time...and the worst part is that we are depending on it too much...standing on something that is not ground...

Instead of discovering our true strength we now make the strength of the gadgets our own...The light that is stolen always betrays its master.

So don't shun tech altogether but know what you are doing with it...know what you really are.

People here I am. For a brief vacation even before the college starts. Do you know about the "Butterfly Effect"? I'll tell you. It is hypothised that if in one part of the world a Butterfly flaps its wings, it may cause a cyclone in some other part of the world...thats how you describe Chaos theory. The means to underestand the uncertinity the world is shrouded in.

Think about it. What is everything around in?? Chaos or cosmos?? Suprificially everything seems very calm and perfectly engineered the work of god!! But as we move to the intricacies we find that there are serious discomforts in the system. There are individual systems think about them as functions in infinite dimensions [that every line possible is an axis of the system] And in such a system various functions are creating "graphs" of themselves with use of the system's "resources" or co-ordinates. Now there is dense possibility that every graph will interact with atleast one more graph by the means of sharing and using or controlling the resources. This will give rise to a number of diffrent flavours of plots that will no llonger be the representation of pure funtions but a changed one...sometihng more optimum at that spot and time. Can you even faintly picture it?? Mess right?? More's to come.

Now we cannot also shun the possibility of another function that is the basic property of the whole system i.e. it affects the whole system [all of the infinite resources.] And this also comes in flavours...hidden and visible [to the functions] For example take the rotiation of the axis or the shif of origin these are visible system functions and for hidden you have distortion of length or definition of length on which the functions have no control over. So over and all its very chaotic.

Such is the atmosphere where the true might of Chos theory can be seen. One small incident, starts off a chain of events and by the proper placement of resources it aquires some significant significance. And in a chaotic world this can last from one millisecond to a millenium and the consequences can be negligible or catostrophic. But one must be the condition on which it can be...each and every functions should be unaware of such a chain reaction and its happening or its consequences or the chain will end abruptly.

And If we can control such a phenomemon [we can only control what we can initiate] then there will be alot more efficiency in our work and there will truly be nothing as impossible.

August 3, 2008

I don't know what has happened lately with me, but I have stopped believing.Believing In dreams and ambitions, No sentiments seem strong enough now...really cherry pie...really...

Once I had believed that I am the one, Someone special, someone to do things no one else can...But now I feel What a Fool I'd been.

Time has swept me to a place where none of this holds true, the one to blame is me, no one else.My father.... he has been a good father compared to others, keeping aside the things I had with him, I keep them aside because they are not that huge that they can overshadow all the good things he has for me.Yes, he has done things that had hurt me, they still do...but I have to look at the whole record.

Now came a time when I see myself nothing different than the rest of the world, no more beautiful. Still perverted to selfish desires, still the ugly little human...the child is no more...The child's innocence lies in his tears....Those are no more.beauty no more.The Beautiful demon that was...Now No more...

And such is the time also that I have to bid farewell to my companions of this silent dream.a dream that we had all shared...A sonata of mellow notes...but I think...No one could tune the piano right, and thats the reality...

Coarse and misplace notes, Silence and murmur....

Nothing left to fix, all has gone beyond the threshold of mend. My only hope is that...If we separate....we meet together in another dream...more melodious than this one or less...but one more time.

I finally accept that the gig is up...the curtains must fall or the stage will lay to waste.

Ok.Here goes another apology.Ma'am I was not present at The Friendship day...And I did not bring my Absen-note.Well, I seriously don't feel like meeting anyone at this time, for a strangely unknown reason,too much stress perhaps??Well being the pessimist that I am, I'm writing this apology in a very somber state, un-intoxicated,Maybe I'm feeling a bit depressed.

My special apology to Anna Bhai,Sorry man. I will feel bad about this later, after 2 days have passed.And I will feel worse for not wanting to meet you after reading that wonderful poem you wrote.And all the efforts that you put in on meeting me.

To Cherry Pie,*Sigh*I feel very empty.I don't know if anyone can ever do about this.Loving you...

I do not expect forgiveness.Just a contraption to cover my guilt.so....This is it...Sorry for ruining your friendship day.