I seek without finding a way to express all the thoughts that are building inside that can’t mesh a hundred ideas all waiting to be found, in the mean time I feel like all the good ideas have already been used and anything that I could think of would fall away like only so much ruble.

I want so badly to have an effect, to war against the machine with some semblance of success. I guess the question still remains…too who’s definition of success do I long to achieve is it wealth and popularity I seek, well no not entirely…I want to change lives to plant seeds and see the spirit of God move strongly through my ramblings but at the same time I would not mind if in the process we were granted some meager allowance. I would love to have more so that I could give more, I want to leave an inheritance…a legacy. Where do I even begin? How do I give these ideas wings so that they might unfurl and take flight? I am sure I’m not the only one asking. But alone in the process…guess I better go back to prayer. Lord please guide me. Don’t let me walk out of step…in accordance to Your grand design where things align and in glorious splendor lights shine brightly rendering all dark things to pass…reveal the way to me, that I might succeed in whatever You may ask. In Jesus Name, Amen.

I have to serve You out of the overflow, out of the well if you will. I need to be full first though and so I read Your word…I search to know You deeply, I look to seek Your face. I think of all who have come before me, patriarchs of amazing faith. I can learn so much about You by studying their faith, all the ways that You supplied for them, guided them, and gave them a better place. I know this is Your heart for us, Your children, You want to give us good. I thank You for Your love for me and the way You show me daily that You have a plan for me. One that is for my good and not to bring me ruin, I trust You know whats best even when the road ahead is hard because I know You are just building my character, You are making me strong. I will persevere, I will finish the race and it will all be for You Lord and because of Your amazing grace. See, You are the one that empowers me, You guide me and give me peace, You are the glue that binds me and holds me to my place. You never will forsake me and You came to take my place, on that tree You hung there, when it should have been me. I can’t say thank you enough…I can’t say…Just know that I love You and I will spend the rest of my days glorifying You and singing Your praise.

Lord, forgive me. Their are so many people who are lost. They don’t know You…or they don’t want to and I can’t change their hearts…I know that only You can do that…but I still try. I feel like I keep slamming myself against this stone wall willing it to break and instead the people leer at me, you know the expression on their face. They think that I am a lunatic, though all I seek to do is love, I am gentle in my approach…I don’t Bible thump. I recognize that You are a gentleman You want to be invited in…and yet the world makes You stay outside…they have not been trained to do what is right. In this world where wrong is right and night is day…everyone tries to hide away and all seem hurt and lost, You shine your light, it’s ever so bright and I just want to soak it in so that ones again I can meet the rock with my limbs and maybe it will budge. You said faith can move a mountain…well help me break this rock!

Inside I know you know the truth, but it’s hard for you to understand.

See I made you with a hunger,

and a never-ending thirst.

I said that you will find me,

If you will simply look.

Don’t look with the eyes of man,

that have taught you to be afraid.

Instead you must search blindly, that’s how you develop faith.

Don’t worry you wont be “blind” for long I just want you to trust me.

My vast character,

my grand plan…

to paint the sky with another sunrise or sunset,

to give you another heart beat and yes another breath.

I can not let you go yet…

no, not just yet…

not until you know the reason…

I died to pay your debt.

It’s because I love you with a never-ending love

far beyond what you’ve ever known.

I want to give you the chance to grow in that love and learn to love me back.

We could have something great, something that will truly last,

because I will never leave you and you will never want to look back at what life used to be like without me.

You see I have been waiting for you all of your entire life.

Waiting for you to notice me and give me a chance.

I will prove myself to you…I don’t get scared of a fight,

you can argue with me and test me, I won’t run and hide.

I won’t trow a fit because you’ve made me wait…instead I will just quietly say…

Come.

Follow me.

Let me be your guide,

I know all the best routes, and while you have been carrying that heavy burden all your life,

come and trade it for mine…

for my yolk is easy, my burden is light.

This is not a trick,

I am not a salesman, I won’t cost you more than you can pay.

Plus I’ll provide for you, all that you need to make it through each day.

I will never let you down.

You can really trust me, and while you are growing in your relationship with me

I will help you to become more than you ever dreamed plus a man of integrity or a women of purity.

In me you will find such joy, and peace past your understanding,

I really just want to set you free of all things that make you look sadly.

Things you are not so proud of…things you’ed rather not share

Things you don’t dare…to even say.

I already know them…and I am ready to take them away.

Salvation is yours, it’s my gift to you.

Freedom, and love…honesty and integrity, joy, peace, hope and me…all of me, for you see I am Immanuel; God with you.

If you just read this and something inside you said “yes” and now for the first time you want to give your life to God, let’s pray together.

Lord Jesus, I know how scary it is to try new things, and I know that this person may be feeling unsure and afraid. I ask that you would give them peace right now and help them to understand what it is you have done for them I pray that they will give their hearts to you and live the rest of their lives joyfully in your service. Please help them to find the courage now to ask you to forgive them of their sins, and to truly believe that you are God, that you died on the cross for them and three days later raised from the dead. I pray that they will ask you to be lord of their life and to kindle your light inside them as you make your home with them, and give them the gift of the holy spirit. Help them to take the next step and find a good church to grow in and people who genuinely love You who can then love them. In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.

The One True God of the universe invites YOU to follow Him, He longs to fellowship with you, walk with you, and to share even your smallest problem. I pray with all my heart that you will accept His invitation. Nothing would make me happier…than to know that you have chosen to follow after God…nothing would bring me greater joy. You see, I love you…but God loves you more. To be without Him voluntarily…to not accept this invitataion…that is the greatest tragedy of anyones life. I know this may sound strange to some of you, I know I may sound dramatic but right now I would do anything to share just a taste of what I have found in Jesus with you. To somehow make you see and feel how precious He is and how much richer your life would be if you would choose to walk with Him. Oh…how I love you, and how my heart breaks for you…all who are lost…all who are hurting and broken. I pray you are found and that you allow the great physician to heal you.

I know you read this now wondering what I will say, but is your heart beating like mine? Does your breath come in short gasps, and your hands long to grasp the handle of something that will hold you erect? I know mine are to slick with the sweat to ever hope to hold on and so I write with an urgency that eggs me on.

Who are you? The time has come that we dispel with the pleasantries and actually remove the masks that we allow only the world to see. There must be more to the both of us…a deeper walk with God? Or are you just faking with the hopes of eventually making the cut…I know that I have not always been honest, I know I have not always been real. Please forgive me for holding you at a distance to afraid to be judged…or possibly hugged? Which would be worse, I don’t know. Either way I am just awkward.

What is this feeling? This longing in my heart to make something worthwhile, to not fall apart. Lord God I just want the works of my hand to be glorifying and and to lift up your plan. Let your light shine through me, let me not be afraid to boldly go forth and sing of your praise.

Today is a new day, all the old days have passed. there is no going back now, and thank God for that. I don’t want to go back to where I have been, the muck and the mire were to much to be in. Who wants to hold on…it’s too good to let let go…at least of the bad, so say goodbye and let’s go!