Monday, March 19, 2012

I was invited to a women's gathering which happened this Saturday. Basically, it was a dozen Muslim women hanging out together with all the kids (maybe 15 or more under 4 years old) running around playing. I knew one person there and it wasn't even the hostess and I still felt very welcomed and part of the gang when we got to chatting. Nora didn't take two seconds to go off and play with the kids and I like to think she had a lot to do with the kids above 2.5 years not bothering their moms much - it sounded like she was keeping them organized and making up games to play and who had which roles. She was one of the three oldest there.

The gathering made me realize a few things.

ONE: I want Islam in my life (in a more active way).

TWO: I'm not as strong as I hoped when it comes to being able to follow who I truly am and follow what I believe to be the truth, and I am more influenced by the people I hang out with than I thought I was.

THREE: I'm still attracted to the traditional style of Islam (sorry for the way I expressed that, but hopefully you get what I mean)

FOUR: There really is so much that links the more traditional Muslims (like these women were) and the more progressive Muslims (like I consider myself) and there's no reason that both can't hang out together and enjoy each other's company and learn from one another.

FIVE: I was more hurt than I thought from my relationship with a Muslim woman 2 years ago and it really affected me and the way I feel about Islam.

I hope to see them again in the future and I hope to be able to build friendships even after the disastrous "friendship" I had with that Muslim woman from my city. I really enjoyed the religious aspect and that surprised me. I enjoyed praying with them a lot but that part did not surprise me, I've always enjoyed praying with others at the mosque. There were actually more women there than at a regular Jumah at the local mosque. lol

It made me re-appreciate the more traditional side of Islam after being more influenced by the progressives. I am really a person looking for balance and this helped me towards that. I am not a person of extremes and I need the influence of these women in my life I think. As long as it doesn't turn out like it did last time I had a real-life Muslim friend...

I actually talked about my past experience with one of the women there and I took myself by surprise at the emotions that surfaced. I actually teared up and my chin did that wobbly thing when you're emotional. I didn't realize how hurt I had been by what happened with that person but I really was and it really pushed me away from Islam. I haven't talked to this person in a year and a half and there's still negative influence there.

3 Comentários:

candice what an awesome experience!! not just because you had a great social gathering but because of the way you were able to perhaps dust out your emotional closet and get past what happened before!! dont we all long for such things.

machaallah im so happy for you. sometimes if we have a bad relationship with someone, it can affect our view and feelings towards a group and we can distance ourselves from them. but im so happy to read that you met sisters who were open and welcoming to you, and like jana said, its good that u were able to move on from the hurt that happened before :)