Sunday Salon. Before It’s Monday

What a week it’s been. My son has been home for only seven days, but they have been an intense seven days. Seven days for me to examine not only him, but myself, for both of us have been in Marine boot camp.

Well, he was at Camp Pendleton in San Diego. I was upstairs in my own little room. But I assure you, the rigors we went through were comparable. While he was exercising his muscles, and expanding his mental capabilities, I was in remedial motherhood.

I knew better than to expect him to come home completely changed as everyone told me. “You won’t recognize him!” my friends exclaimed. I recognize him all right. He’s still thin, he’s still polite, he’s still determined to do things his own way, and he still seeks social interaction with others above all else.

I hate social interaction! Well, I like it in my blog. I like it at church. I like it in the teacher’s lounge once in awhile. But given the choice, I’d prefer to be by myself any day of the week. I like reading. I like introspection. I like quiet. I like togetherness with those few I hold close to my heart.

I need to temper my expectations. For while they are almost impossible for me to achieve for myself, they are surely impossible for my son. I am the Queen of Wanting More. More time with him. More close discussions. More assurance of my value to him as a mother.

I can’t live off of someone else’s assurances. I can’t live with my own impossibly high standards. The Bible reminds me, “in quietness and trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15

I understand those expectations! However, since I am also one that craves social interaction, I understand my kids needs to see all their friends when they are home….I still want them all to myself though!! 🙂 I am driving tomorrow to see my youngest son at school and he just sent me his “schedule” so I would know when I could see him. 🙂 I was proud of myself that I didn't say “I am driving TEN hours to see you and you are going to make me work around your schedule?!” and instead I said “Great. thanks for letting me know!” I remind myself that I am so thrilled he is happy and thriving where he is!!!!

I am proud of you, too, Sara. It's important to be grateful for what we do have even if it doesn't meet our (my) specifications exactly. I am glad for the time we have at home, my son and I, and I am trusting the Lord to do a work in his life. I'm glad you will soon be with yours! Have a very blessed time together, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. From one Christian mom to another…

Seems like you've described me. I'd rather be reading, all alone, than socializing, esp. I found, in recent years. I can also empathize with your desire to be more connected with your son in a deeper way. Yes, there just might be vacuum in our heart that only God can fill.

“I hate social interaction! Well, I like it in my blog……. But given the choice, I'd prefer to be by myself any day of the week. I like reading. I like introspection. I like quiet. I like togetherness with those few I hold close to my heart.”

I'm one, too! I get angry if I'm expected at too many social engagements. People just don't understand why I don't come to some of them. That's okay. I've learned to set my own limits and don't worry about the expectations of others. I'm not completely anti-social; I just can't handle too much interaction with people.

Our son is in Kuwait until September. I can't wait to see him again and hug him. He gives the very best hugs!