Down the Nights and Down the Days: Advent for a Prisoner Priest

My post in the Third Week of Advent last year was “Saint Gabriel the Archangel: When the Dawn From On High Broke Upon Us.” It’s one of my favorite Advent posts. By that, I don’t mean that it’s any sort of masterpiece or anything. It’s one of the posts I most enjoyed writing. We repeated it on the Feast of the Archangels last September in “To Guard You In All Your Ways.” Though the Feast of the Annunciation is March 25, my post on the Annunciation is special to me in Advent because, like Advent itself, it marks the beginning of Christian salvation history. It’s also a beautiful pro-life story. The intent of God for life is clear in the three simple proclamations of the prayer we call The Angelus:

“The Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary,
And she conceived by the Holy Spirit.”

“Behold the Handmaid of the Lord;
Be it done to me according to your word.”

“And the Word was made Flesh,
And dwelt among us.”

Most of you know that I offer Mass in my cell late at night on Sundays. If you’ve read my two-part post, “The Sacrifice of the Mass,” you know of my arduous trek through prison and Church bureaucracies to bring this great privilege about.

Late on Sunday nights, after lockdown at 10:00 PM, the prison gradually grows quiet. By 11:15, the guards have completed their last prisoner count of the day. All the shouting and foul language that seem to fill every moment of every day here fades away by then. It’s the sole time I have found that is conducive to offering Mass in a prison cell without interruptions and a cacophony of background noise that – believe me – sounds nothing like a choir of angels.

Most TSW readers also know that my friend, Pornchai, joins me for Mass and usually reads the first two readings. It’s the most important time of our week. I mentioned Pornchai recently in “What Do John Wayne and Pornchai Moontri Have In Common?” This weekly celebration of the Eucharist is the source of all our hope.

And one of those hopes is that it’s also a source of grace for the readers of These Stone Walls for whom we offer Mass each week. I made an important statement in my recent post about Pornchai’s conversion, and the special challenges he faces. The statement was this: “It is not suffering that is our problem, but rather what we do with it when it finds us.”

It found me, and, no doubt about it, it found Pornchai as well. It was actually his idea to offer Mass each Sunday for those who have been reading These Stone Walls that week. The idea came about as we discussed ways we can observe in prison our personal Consecration to Saint Maximilian Kolbe’s two movements, the Militia of the Immaculata and the Knights at the Foot of the Cross. I described our Consecration in “The Paradox Of Suffering: An Invitation from St. Maximilian Kolbe.”

At that time, we invited TSW readers to consider joining us in such an offering of personal trials and suffering. Doing so doesn’t mean that you just surrender to suffering in silence. And it doesn’t mean that I surrender quietly to unjust imprisonment. We should do all in our power to confront injustice, to restore ourselves and others to health, and to live in freedom from anxiety and oppression.

The offering of suffering simply means that as we endure it – as each of us will – we endure it in faith, and use it to identify with the suffering of Christ and, like Christ, present it to God as a prayer offering for others. Joining us in Consecration as Knights at the Foot of the Cross would be a very special way to open a dialogue of grace. Sacrificial love is the most powerful source of grace in salvation history, and it gives meaning to suffering.

The National Shrine of St. Maximilian Kolbe in Libertyville, Illinois maintains a website to assist you in your own Consecration at www.consecration.com. Your Consecration should take place on any Marian feast and then be registered at the Consecration website. If you choose the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God on January 1st, then the nine-day period of preparation would begin Christmas Eve. It’s a wonderful way to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.

MASS CONFUSION

After Mass on the Solemnity of Christ the King on November 20, l told Pornchai that this was my last Mass “on autopilot.” In the late 1960s, when I first began attending Mass as a teen – when the rest of my peers were just beginning to drift away – the Second Vatican Council had just commenced a change from Mass in Latin to Mass in the vernacular.

That transition was easy for me because I had only vague recollections of the responses in Latin such as “Et cum spiritu tuo.” Five years later in 1973, however, a new Mass translation was adopted that made little sense to me. I could not understand how “Et cum spiritu tuo” could possibly be translated as “And also with you.” It seemed a little too vernacular, stopping just short of responding, “You too!” I went along with it because I was twenty and was supposed to be flexible, but some of the older members of my parish formed a resistance movement. At times, my heart went out to them for the vast change they were being asked to accept in blind faith.

Now, nearly forty years later, the Church has thought better of this translation, and the result is far more faithful to the language and intent of the Latin Mass. So from a spiritual perspective, I welcome this change. From a purely pragmatic perspective, however, I’ve had to rise to the occasion just like all of you. No more autopilot. Now I must carefully consult the Roman Missal for every word and phrase, and I have already stumbled a few times during the first two weeks of Advent.

But the fact that I am able to observe the new translation at all is a grace brought about by two very kind TSW readers, Tom and Jo Ann Glenn, who realized at some point that even obtaining a new Roman Missal would be a special challenge for me. So they made arrangements to order one for me, and it arrived two weeks before Advent. I am most grateful to them for this beautiful and thoughtful gift. They also sent two “Pew Cards” published by Magnificat and containing all the new common prayers and responses of the people. It was most thoughtful.

So I had no excuse not to be prepared. A few days before Advent began, I walked into my cell one evening to see our friends Pornchai and Donald Spinner carefully studying the Magnificat Pew Cards and contrasting the new translation with the old. It was a strange scene, and it struck me that there is probably no other prison in the world where two prisoners chose to pass up a football game on TV to prepare themselves for coming changes in the Mass. That’s when I knew I had work to do. I wasn’t going to be the only one stumbling through Mass, so I spent a week before Advent studying the Roman Missal and new translation. I offer my humble thanks to Tom and Jo Ann Glenn, and ask you to offer a prayer for them as well. Their gift to me was also a gift to the readers of These Stone Walls.

Offering Mass in a prison cell is a little like offering Mass in a battlefield. We don’t have the luxury of an altar, and must make do with what we’ve got – which isn’t much. In the middle of the floor in this eight-by-twelve-foot cell are two concrete stumps that protrude about two feet out of the concrete floor. Just inches to one side of my stump is an iron bunk, and inches to the other side is a concrete counter protruding sixteen inches from the stone cell wall.

At first, I offered Mass sitting on the concrete stump with my Mass kit spread at the edge of my bunk. One of my treasures is a Hammond World Atlas. Whenever TSW readers post comments that mention where they are, Pornchai and I like to find their town or city in the Atlas. So far, we have had readers from 31 countries. So I used the Atlas upon which to place my Corporal as a sort of symbol that we offer Mass for TSW readers around the world.

But I had some difficulty with offering Mass in the same spot in which I spend the night snoring. So I turned around. Our world in prison is a world in miniature, so the change was not dramatic. I still use the Atlas, but now I place it on the concrete counter with the Corporal spread upon it. It’s the same spot in which I type these posts, and the same spot in which I pray the breviary. Pornchai offered use of his side of the concrete counter for cooking meals, making coffee, and other activities so that we’re not using the Mass location for anything else (except typing). What we have for Mass isn’t a cathedral. It’s an area two-foot square in a place that otherwise has seen much darkness, and the wilderness of poverty of human spirit at its worst.

IN THE WILDERNESS

There was an awkward moment at Mass on the Third Sunday of Advent last year. I wanted to write of it then, but didn’t. I’m not even sure why I avoided it, but I’ve thought of it often since then. It’s hard to believe a year has passed. The Gospel that day was from Saint Matthew (11:2-11):

“When John the Baptist heard in prison of the works of the Christ, he sent his disciples to Jesus with this question, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?’ Jesus said to them in reply, ‘Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them. And blessed is the one who takes no offense at me.’”

I have heard and read that Gospel passage many times during my life, but on the Third Sunday of Advent last year, I seemed to really hear it for the very first time. And I knew that what struck me also struck Pornchai. John the Baptist was in prison, but this seemed not at all to be of concern to Jesus. He sent John’s followers back to him in prison with a message about what they have witnessed: “The blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.” But what about John left in prison? Must he be content with that news, hearing it, but never seeing it?

But the news had a power that left John speechless – like his father was left speechless in my Advent post, “When the Dawn From On High Broke Upon Us” at the moment John’s very existence in his mother’s womb was made known. Last year’s Advent Gospel cited above is the last time we hear from Saint John the Baptist. John never speaks again in Saint Matthew’s Gospel after this encounter with the Christ from his prison cell.

I honor the bearers of that Good News to John the Baptist in prison. We in prison are lepers – the guilty and innocent alike – but the Good News is that Christ sees a deeper meaning to the quality of life than just our state in it, or the misfortunes that come our way, or the truths we are unable to see until our spiritual awakening.

You have been for us like those visitors who returned to John the Baptist in prison with the news of what they see and hear of Christ in our world. By visiting These Stone Walls, and learning of us, you have been for us the “Angels We Have Heard On High.” This is your Corporal Work of Mercy, and a great gift to this prisoner who thanks and honors you for it. Your presence here marks the Advent of hope, and the fulfillment of the mercy that is otherwise missing from justice. By your visit, you disperse the gloomy clouds of night.

O come, 0 Dayspring from on high,
And cheer us by Your drawing nigh;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadow put to flight.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of humankind;
Make all our sad divisions cease,
And be for us the King of Peace.

About Fr. Gordon J. MacRae

The late Cardinal Avery Dulles and The Rev. Richard John Neuhaus encouraged Father MacRae to write. Cardinal Dulles wrote in 2005: “Someday your story and that of your fellow sufferers will come to light and will be instrumental in a reform. Your writing, which is clear, eloquent, and spiritually sound will be a monument to your trials.” READ MORE

Comments

This post really touched me. What a privilege it is for us to ‘visit’ you and Pornchai in prison. When we are supposed to instill hope in you, you do it in us. Thank you both, Father Gordon and Pornchai, and particularly for offering mass for us TSW readers. I feel so blessed.

In follow-up I invoke St.. Francis, and St. John of the Cross, imprisoned by their own Church groups. You are not alone in this, for Christ Himself suffered this atrocity, but His was over quickly, through death, and yours is a slow and painful journey of the heart, a white martyrdom. Your courage to produce such beautiful writings and turn to the Eucharist is breathtaking for me in my little hermitage, and in my heart.

God only knows your apostolate totally, but it is obvious to me that you are a voice of right reason, where there is none, in the midst of chaos, as St. John the Baptist one crying out int he wilderness. Thank you for all you do to help free us, those who are seemingly free.

Blessed Christmas to all three of you (& others that may come). Offering Holy Mass in a prison cell is a great lesson and encouragement to us. You all will be powerful motivators of the Word when you can speak to congregations in person!

Dear Fr. MacRae: I have only just read your recent wonderful post. You mentioned the Gospel reading for the third Sunday of Advent, and how, although you had read it countless time, this year you experienced a new understanding of it.

I am forever amazed at passages or phrases in the Gospels, will suddenly “Hit” me, and I ask myself the question, “how is that I never saw that before?” I think that God gives us the perfect understanding of the passage, when we need it the most.

I continue to remember you, Pornchai and now Donald Spinner in all my Masses, hours of Adoration, prayers and sacrifices.

I am so happy with the new translation of the Missal. There is always a right time for everything, isn’t there?

How fitting to read this post during Advent. Through love Jesus humbles Himself to come down to the most unexpected of circumstances. Would that we all sought Him with such anticipation and invitation.
You, Pornchai and Donald Spinner are remembered in prayer.

Good morning, Father. I was just getting on here to make sure that you knew about Fr. Byers blog and the nun praying for your intentions and wanting that book. Then I saw the comment by RTG/JAG! How amazing that Fr. Byers got the books so fast! Also, Fr. Z posted about the book as well. Then a few people commented about painful situations of priests they knew who had suffered the same false accusation. There are many to pray for!
I too am excited about this book and the light it is shedding on your situation and others. On Fr. Mark Gruber’s “Friends of Fr. Mark” page I found this a few days ago:

Fr. Mark just returned from Rome this week. He went to speak to the “powers that be” about his case. He came back encouraged. He was told that a decision had been made, and that he should be hearing soon–whatever that means in “Rome time!” Please continue to pray that it is the decision we have been hoping for!

Dear Fr Mcrae,
my heart goes out to you, having worked for 16 years in the English prison system as an Officer I have come across some men like you who have been imprisoned and innocent of any crime. It certainly is tough, you have my support and are included in my daily Mass, Rosary and prayer life.
May Our Lord and Our Lady continue to bless you and sustain you through this difficult period.
A Blessed Christmas to you and all the inmates.

Dear Fr. MacRae:
Thank you for this beautiful and thought provoking post.
I realize I take for granted so many things in my life.
I admire your perseverance and determination and most of all your faith.
I will keep you and all the prisoners in my prayers at Christmas Mass.
Merry Christmas.
Eileen

The following is a recent entry from Fr. Byers website blog,(http://holysoulshermitage.com) in reference to your post “A Book Every Priest Needs to Read: Catholic Priests Falsely Accused”. In that article you wrote how one can help, ‘There is a viral effect among faithful Catholics, and its power should not be overlooked.’ Well, praise the Lord – the ‘viral effect’ in action as posted below.

HELP THESE GREAT CLOISTERED NUNS PRAY FOR MARTYR PRIESTS, PLEASE!
From an email from one of the many cloistered nuns right around the world who are graciously praying for this poor nothing of a hermit priest.

‘ I saw on your blog the name of Fr MacRae and his good works, so I click on and what I saw made me so sad and helpless in the sight of such an injustice not only from outside but within the Church and it is shocking. I could not sleep until late thinking of how he and other innocent priests are suffering from such horrendous accusation. I am praying much for them […] he is very much in my prayers. Our procurator general has told us that the real martyrs of our times are not dead yet – they are still alive. They are priests who are barred from their priestly ministry because of false accusation that were unfounded but the legal and canonical processes were flawed. He has helped so many priests in canonical processes and also was sought in reappeal caases. He came to defend the last case in […] that finished […] and he said if this very last case is flawed and the accusor a liar so what about the long lists of all the other cases. He is the best civil and canon lawyer anyone could have. He loves the Church and we are sure his name will live on as one of a God fearing man that loves priests and did a lot to defend them when they are falsely accused.

So Father, I am asking a favor from you if you can. I would like a copy of “Catholic Priests Falsely Accused” by David F. Pierre, Jr. Would you be so kind to buy it for us […]? I will be ever so grateful. People need to read this book and see the drama these priests are going through and pray for them and the Church.’

Dear Father you give us all hope and thank-you for your encouraging words urging embracing of suffering and suffering for truth and justice. May Our Lady bring the Holy Child to fill your heart and cell with radiant light and joy. Your brother Fr. Joseph

I am from Indianapolis IN and have subscribed to your blog posts for about 4 months. I have forwarded your blog to several people including Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers of the Portland Diocese, I understand they have filed bankruptcy due to the scandal.

It boggles my mind that anyone could or would assault the men who bring us the body, blood, soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ; (especially) through false accusation – may God have mercy on their souls! I can only think, these poor souls, know not what they do.

I look forward to each post I recieve and as I read them I try to place myself next to you Father in your prison cell.

I have had e-mail communication with people from SNAP prior to being aware of you and your situation. Even though on the surface they claim to advocate for the victim, it is clear they are a bad lot, on par with Catholics for a Free Choice and other so-called Catholic groups in opposition to Church teaching. We even had several SNAP people onsite at St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church for the the ordination of our Auxillary Bishop Christopher Coyne, formally a priest from Boston; http://www.archindy.org/criterion/local/2011/03-11/coyne.html. They were disgusting!

I have yet to keep a Holy Hour with you Father, I fear I may be like the disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane and fall asleep. I will give it my best shot though soon, if not before certainly during Lent.

You are included in my daily rosary intentions as well as the safety and conversion of all those in prison. Please add my nephew Jeff who is incarcerated at Wabash Valley Correctional Facility in Carlisle IN, to your Mass intentions…he is fallen from the faith and I am finding it quite difficult to influence his conversion under the circumstances.

I pray God be with you and Mary keep you, as you minister from your prison cell.

Hi Fr. Gordon!
Thank you for the prayers and I continue to pray for you and Pornchai each day at my Mass. I know that your suffering is united to Christ.

I am passing on the site to friends. Last week it went to someone in Colorado and they thanked me for letting them know about you! I have the books and have started to read
the first one. I am appalled to say the least! It seems the persecution of the church has never stopped!

Please know that you have friends who believe in you and will never waver.We may not like God’s plan but He knows why it must be so. I find in my own life that when I try to change the ministry to suit me , I can’t. Something always interferes with the change. It is my sign from Him that I am where He wants me at this time. ( I run a food pantry and have for 6 years now)

There is always some words or things that I see that give me understanding and let me see His Hand in it. I trust Him with all and He guides me in all. He also lets me know when I’m not listening!

This Friday, Dec. 16 is the 29th anniversary that my son Scott has been with the Lord in Heaven. He died from leukemia at the age of 7 but was able to make his First Communion 10 days before he died. I have asked him to protect you and intercede for you! He is my special Saint for you!

I wish you a Holy and Blessed Christmas. The Holy Spirit will place the happiness in your heart as you feel the love of that Child being born for you and for us all and our love for
you also! When you are feeling down remember that we love you and believe in you!

I’ve spent the evening with two of my 12 wonderful grand kids, wrapping gifts for my family of 25 including two great grand kids. I began reading emails, and now the Advent from Father Gordon. I thank him for his suffering, and in doing so he reminds me of the true reason we celebrate Christmas. I have to count my many blessings, and happily offer my small aches and discomforts, to enter more into the mass. I have managed to make a holy hour with Father, twice; and he has been in my prayers.. I am deeply grateful to him for the masses he offers for those of us who read his writings. Father Gordon you are giving many a wake up call to recognize things we take for granted. Words fail me to express my awareness and gratitude. God Bless you.

I am particularly touched when you took all pains to maintain the sacredness of your ‘altar’. I wish all priests are like you, Father.

What struck me most about your ‘advent’ gospel on St John the Baptist is his total silence right after the visit. It is as if he received the final seal to his ministry: “It is finished, Lord, what you have asked me to do.” And so eventually he lost his head on a whim. Which up to this point is something that I cannot understand why the good LORD would permit that to happen. I just have to trust the LORD.

Thank you, Father, for continuously praying for us, and I thank the LORD for giving you to us as you offer your suffering all for His greater glory. That is a great homily you’re saying to us., and I must say we are very privileged to hear it.

Fr. Gordon you are in my prayers daily. I appreciate reading your blogs, they inspire me very much, I pass them on to friends and family. I am praying for you and your friends within those stone walls. I know that nothing can separate us from the love of our creator. I am so grateful to you for your sacrifices which are meriting many graces within and without of those stone walls. I pray this Christmas that many souls would come to know our King of Kings that has come into the world to save them, especially there. May God bless you and keep you in his joy this Christmas , and give you that peace that passes ALL understanding within your heart.

Thank you for persevering in faith. There are few opportunities to see pure authentic expressions of faith as to see a pair of faithful men in prison accepting their crosses and carrying on. Go for the greater glory of God, lead us on His way.

Perhaps it was last year or the year prior when I heard my priest comment on the question of John the Baptist posed by others to Our Lord. It wasn’t a faithful take on the story but a human one. The question put another way is: If your Jesus Christ the Messaih, the miracle worker, and my cousin, why don’t you cut your cousin some slack and get me out of jail?.

If given the choice between two plans of salvation for our soul; whose plan do you pick the one you drew up or the one God has for you. We know if we step back and look at our plan, it is lite in the suffering department. John’s plans were no different. Good news is….The Father used him anyway.

Ironically, his greatest contribution may not have been all those he baptized with water, but all those who are given strength to persevere in faith when for all appearences God has abandoned them.

Father Gordon,
Thank you so much for once again writing words that come to life! God bless you Father. The way you describe how you celebrate Mass on Sundays, I was picturing it in my mind. You are a Priest forever Father. What an inspiration you are. You “bloom where you are planted”. I hope you know the impact your words have on us your readers. Please be assured of my daily Prayers.

I ordered the book you mentioned last week , I’m hoping to receive it tomorrow. I plan on passing it along to our Spiritual Motherhood for Priests Apostolate. We offer at least one Holy Hour each week for all Priests and pray a Rosary together for Priests every Thursday. Since I found out what you’ve been going through, we include you in those Prayers.
God bless you,
Cheralyn