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Sunday, February 19, 2017

Left Coast Dating

Check the boxes below and find your agave:

Politics:___Trump — I’d rather put a gun barrel in my mouth.___Trump — I’d rather put a gun barrel in — “US Secret Service, may we speak with you?”

Age:___I’m 8 in dog years though, strangely, my dog is still more mature.___My chronological age is 52 but my chakra vibrates at a jailbait-y 16.___It’s just a number — a number you’re not going to like.

Diet:___Rooted in the dirt___Dangling from a tree___Anything that moves

Exercise:___I sat on my ass for the last eight years, maybe it’s time to do something.___Does throwing Molotov cocktails burn many calories?___I like to hike to the top of the mountain and take selfies while looking into the deplorable abyss between NYC and LA.