A Rose by Any Other Name, Etc.

A Rose by Any Other Name, Etc.

Since I started writing, I’ve wanted to see my name on a cover.

I wanted the surge of joy, of knowing I made that! I started this blog in 2007, and it’s always been my-name.com. Because, this is me. I have a thing about being real and I don’t want to hide anything about myself. (Yes, I recognize the irony of including my web address name on the image. Wait, is that irony or idiocy?)

In the last few months, though, I’ve started to feel a little discomfort.

Writing is highly personal. I’m not saying I act out the risque scenes in my novels at all, but I do fill every sentence with a bit of my soul. And that, for me, is far more personal. Do I really want to deal with people being able to climb inside my head that way? Not people, reader people or other writers–they get it. But, say, those I come in contact with at work or who attend church with me.

I just keep bumping into this wall.

Don’t post that, someone who comes into the office might take it the wrong way. Don’t talk about your feelings, you have to look people in the eye. And then, I feel fake. It’s not about being fake, it’s about the freedom to be MORE real because there’s a seperateness. My personal life, my professional life, my writing life, my basketball mom life–all different. My life.

And, in the end, it’s my choice.

So, I’ll give you plenty of warning. If you get here by RSS, email, twitter, or my Facebook page, you won’t have any trouble finding me.

P.S. On the writing side, I’m writing a novella for a submission call. It’s romance set in the 1950s, which I adore. If I don’t get picked up, I may publish it here. Someone’s going to read the damn thing. ;-)

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5 Comments

Three Cheers! I say be who you want to be and do what you want to do. I’m always amazed by you being you. I tend to still hide in the shadows of doubt, fearing people won’t like me.

The funny part is that you could say anything and even if I disagreed with you I’d still like you. They are your opinions and they don’t me the end of the world to me. In fact they enrich my world. :)Landra Graf | Cover Reveal: All Lined Up by Cora Carmack

Hi Lori,
I respect your right to choose how to approach this. I wanted to share this quote with you, though, after reading about your concerns. I’ve had similar concerns. I’m bi and some of my writing reflects that, but I’m not out to my mother or anyone in my family. I’m not out to anyone at work. So I’ve really struggled with the risk of someone reading my work and finding out I’m bi. I eventually decided (while panicking because a cousin of mine let me know she was reading my book) that if (when?) it happens, I just have to be okay with it. It is who I am, and I’m 41, and when in the world am I going to just be able to be ME if not at the age of 41? Anyway, here’s the quote, it’s from Anne Lamott: “Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart.”

Again, I’m not against your choice, because the most important thing is TO WRITE and if anonymity allows you to do that when nothing else will, then that is the way to go. I just also want to let you know that you are YOU and that is acceptable no matter what anyone says.Sophia Martin | Year of the Wolf by Heather Heffner

Thanks so much, Sophia, for sharing that. I think that there’s this idea that compartmentalizing will make me feel less vulnerable. But, then who are these people I need to be safe from? And, if they’re even emotionally threatening, do I need them in my life?

More than a decade ago, as I fought my way through a pretty severe depression, I found this quote, and it was a life line for me. Maybe I need to focus on what made this relevant to me to begin with.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.” (Dr. Seuss)