Did your friends jump ship when you had a baby?

'Cause ours did. This couple that we "used" to be friends with a couple of years ago kind of fell off the face of the planet once we got pregnant with Ethan (our first baby). And trust me, I KNOW that we made an effort to get together with them but it was always like they were finding excuses to get out of going to dinner or whatever.

It still chaps my ass because I HATE when people who don't have kids assume that just because you do, or will soon, that you're life is now officially over.

Here's what I want to say:

SORRY that I'm pregnant and can't go out and drink like a fish all evening

SORRY that now that the baby is here the thought of pulling an all nighter, or even staying out until 2 am makes me want to cringe.

SORRY that you have ZERO clue what it's like to have to have a family to worry about supporting and that buying Five Finger Toe Shoes isn't real high up on my priority list!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Gabe and I joke that we need to get on Craigs List to find new friends because our friends w/out kids just don't get it!!

--

Jamie

Wife to my best friend of 13 years, mommy to my little homie, Ethan Gabriel, and anxiously awaiting our Charlotte Jameson due 5/1/2012

Comments (27)

We moved an hour away when we had DS, so we thought for sure we'd lose friends, but luckily, our friends learned to love DS, too. It helps that a lot of people had babies, and also that our interests lay outside of bars. For those times they wanted to drink, we chose a restaurant that had good food AND over 100 beers, and cocktails. Something for everyone!

Still having trouble here, though. I don't connect with other moms here (they are very Christian and reserved, I am open and hate being filtered), and while other friends are cool with us, they go to bars a lot, so we don't have the option to see them as much. We spend a LOT of time traveling!

Yep... When we had Conor a few of our "friends" dropped off the planet. I was surprised when one of the couple friends we had (they disappeared after i found out i was pregnant with ODS) texted me a few months ago that they are expecting... I hadnt heard anything from them in 3 years. Go figure.

That's terrible that they jumped ship before you even had the baby.Â I had already lost touch with most of my college friends by the time we were TTC, so I didn't lose anyone per se.Â But I do notice that I dont' have time to keep up with friends as much, even super close ones.Â My true friends I don't have to call every week.Â When we get together it's like time had never passed in between.Â I am close friends with a friend who is also expecting their second child, shortly before mine.Â We are at the same stage in life.Â I suppose the friends without babies might eventually catch up and understand...

I slowly started losing friends as I got married, bought a house, etc.Â Many of my friends aren't even married yet and they are all over 30 - just moving at a slower pace then me.Â Once DD was born, I barely had time to keep up with them since they are late night folks who hang at diners until 3am and such.

I have maintained two friendships - with one being a half-hearted attempt to relate to my BFF who is 32 and has been in college for 10 years now.Â And the other is a girl I've known since hs who had a son around the time I had DD - so we get together pretty frequently.Â

I'm pretty sure I'm going to become a hermit after this LO is born.Â HAHA.

The same thing happened to us. We lost a few friends and sadly some of them have kids. We were hurt at first but now are over it and have since made new friends. It has been fun though to watch some of those friends move on to having children of their own and see how they are irritated that their friends aren't around anymore. Â Oh well, what can you do. Some people get it and others don't.

I have lost alot of my friends too and actually most of my friends have kids. I was even there for some of them while they were pregnant when no one else was so it made me really mad at first but I don't care now I don't even want them around anymore.

We had already lost many friends before we got married and along the years. We have made new one's. But we go to a young church so a lot of the people there have little children and the one's without are just as loving...I love my church!

I have had the same thing happen however I found a MOM's Club in my area and it is amazing so much support and love that I never had from my other friends of course some of my old friends did stick around and are now having kids so I have a little of both. It's sad to lose friends but my new friends are so much more understanding of what are life is like with kids.

We've dealt with this as well. A lot of it has to do with the fact that we can't just pick up and go out whenever we want anymore - especially to a bar late at night or all day during the weekends to watch football, basketball, etc. Our 'freedom' kind of stopped and theirs has continued on; our lives totally changed and theirs didn't. So I kind of understand, but it is still unfortunate.