I've been a very good chicken this year -- despite the non-stop attempts to consume me by my "friends" - so I think I deserve a nice gift in my stocking. How about a plane ticket to an unnamed location where I can be safe from attempts on my drumsticks? A gift certificate for the Witness Protection Program would be useful too. Or maybe you could use another elf?

I've been a very good chicken this year -- despite the non-stop attempts to consume me by my "friends" - so I think I deserve a nice gift in my stocking. How about a plane ticket to an unnamed location where I can be safe from attempts on my drumsticks? A gift certificate for the Witness Protection Program would be useful too. Or maybe you could use another elf?

Thanking you in advance
Poohbear

I must (not) regret to say that there's nowhere on Earth where a chicken can be safe from consumption. All around the globe, tasty chicken is what people seek.

For some reason, during my pre-lunch (pre-launch?) nap, I was just dreaming about a gigantic flaming chicken on a skewer rising up out of my barbecue pit. It would go so nicely right now with a little tahini sauce.