There are three more shows until Wrestlemania, and I'm pretty sure WWE creative have run out of ideas. Tonight, from Beaumont, Texas, a old stand by is trotted out in the contract signing.

But first, Vince and Shane kick off the show, with their security detail, and a man in a white lab coat. (Uh-oh. I think I know where this is going.) Vince demands that Shawn Michaels come to the ring. He is appalled that Shawn was on drugs during last week's show, so tonight, HBK has to take a public drug test.

(I'm no doctor, but I think I drug test involves more than dipping a strip of paper in it. And everyone in the arena knows that Steph drugged him, especially since a recap of last week started the show. The Texas fans started booing during the segment, not because HBK was being humiliated, but because they were having
their collected intelligence insulted. And that's hard to do; these are the same fans that want the Houston Texans to take Vince Young in the NFL draft.)

Before the test can be completed, HBK throws his "sample" in Vince's and Shane's faces. The McMahons flop around the ring, as HBK walks to the back.

After the break, Vince and Shane are cleaning up. An irate Vince books Shawn in a four on one, Texas Tornado, steel cage match with the Spirit Squad.

Match # 1 – Trish Stratus vs. Victoria w/ Candice Michelle

Candice distracts Trish, so Victoria can set up the Widow's peak. Torrie Wilson runs in, and hits Victoria with a face buster. Victoria staggers to her feet, and Trish finishes her off with the Chick Kick.

Winners via pinfall: Trish Stratus

During the break, Victoria yells that Torrie is dead.

It's inter-network promotion at it's best as Cowboy Troy, from Nashville Star on USA, joins the announce team. Coach introduces a Mick Foley's Greatest Wrestlemania Moments. It's an Edge production, so it isn't very flattering.

Match #2 – Edge w/ Lita vs. Goldust

(It doesn't seem that WWE cares much about this match, since Troy is
pimping his show during it, so why should we care?)

Lita distracts the ref and Goldust long enough for Edge to avoid Shattered Dreams. Goldust turns around into a spear, and Edge covers for the pin. After the match, Edge announces that his talk show, The Cutting Edge, will return at Saturday Night's Main Event, and his guest will be Mick Foley.

Winner via pinfall: Edge

Maria is working out, and promoting the Bowflex, when Trish asks her if she has seen Torrie. Maria says check the locker room. Trish find Ms. Wilson unconscious on the floor.

The next member of the WWE Hall of Fame is ... Verne Gagne. Now that's old school.

Coach heads to the ring to MC the contract signing between Triple H and John Cena. Cena doesn't say a word as Trips signs the contract, and the champ follows suit. Hunter says this is usually the time he flips the table and bashes his opponent's head in with a sledgehammer. But he's not going to do that, tonight, because he doesn't need the advantage. Cena tells Triple H that he is funny, and the two stare each other down. Kane and Big Show, head to the ring, but are jumped by Carlito and
Masters. Vince stops the madness and books a six-man tag match to take place tonight.

Shawn Michaels has the match won, until Shane McMahon slams the cage door on HBK. Shane rolls a squad member onto HBK for the pin. After the bell, Shane tosses HBK into the cage, repeatedly, busting him open. The Spirit Squad holds Michaels in the corner, and Shane hits a Van Shane-inator into a trashcan on HBK.

Winner via pinfall: The Spirit Squad

Todd Grisham interviews Trish Stratus, asking if there is an update on Torrie. Trish tells us that Torrie has a concussion, and will not wrestle on Saturday. She also says its convenient that Candice and Victoria are gone. Mickie James interrupts and tells Trish that she won't let her wrestle a handicap match. Mickie offers to be her partner, and says afterwards they can go their separate ways. Trish agrees.

Match #4 – RVD vs. Shelton Benjamin – Intercontinental Title Match

Ric Flair joins the announce team for some commentary. Benjamin doesn't have his Mama, she's in the hospital, and he blames Flair. RVD kicks Benji out of the ring, where he grabs his belt. Ric Flair jumps on the apron, to try to stop Benjamin. RVD accidentally hits Flair, and Benjamin is able to roll up RVD for the win.

This match is the cluster it is meant to be. Carlito and Masters get their team DQ'ed with chair shots to Kane and Show. The four men fight to the back, leaving Cena and Hunter alone. Triple H jumps on the apron. The two yell at each other, when Randy Orton emerges from the crowd and hits the champ with an RKO. HHH is in disbelief as the Orton escapes back through the crowd.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale has never failed a drug test administered by the SLAM! Wrestling doctor. Email Dale your thought, comments, or complaints to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.