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Not too long ago, Dawn Triage broke a rule. No one noticed. It wasn't a major rule. A minor curiosity. What harm could it do if nothing ever came of it? Except now something has come of it, and she needs to make a choice. ·Viking ZX

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Cloudchaser's never believed in sea ponies. They're just silly stories for little fillies. Then when on holiday at the beach, she meets a stranger claiming to be a sea pony transformed by magic to walk on land. ·Blueshift

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Dust has lived on the edge of Ponyville all her life, keeping to herself and studying. When she makes a big discovery, she's eager to run to the castle and spread the good news! But why don't the ponies of Ponyville seem happy to see her? ·GaPJaxie

After Summer Sirocco's expulsion from the Royal Guard Academy, a captain of the Night Guard offers her an unexpected alternative. The choice: sacrifice her relationships and abandon her identity, or walk away from a singular opportunity to escape the pony she never wanted to be. It dredges up difficult questions of how she sees herself and who she really is—and her answers won't be easy either.

woah, loved it. Loved it a lot! The charcters are well developed, background is given where needed, and I think summer is an excelent character and I would love to see where she goes in her life after the transformation. All in all a very well done story my good mare/colt

I wish all stories could be this good. To my mind, the best kind of conflict is that found within man's own self. It introduces that extra layer of emotion, of connecting to the character. And here, you've done that masterfully. In under 10,000 words, you've fleshed out a character, her background, and what she wants. Very well done, and going in my favorites folder.

(Also of note is that as of this writing, it hasn't gotten a single thumbs down.)

This... ok, this was a VERY interesting piece. I like your theory about the Night Guard, for one. For two, Summer Sirocco is a very... I guess the word I'm looking for is REAL... character, with real problems deep-set. I also like what you did with her. The character didn't really develop, but that is to be expected in this kind of short fiction. My kudoes to you, and as of this writing (and the click I gave), the score is 25 ups with no downs.

If I met Summer Sirocco during the events of the story (or before), I wouldn't like her at all. She uses her friends, then abandons them. She hates her cutie mark and makes no attempt to understand or grow into its meaning, even going so far as endure becoming a member of the Night Guard to change. Given only that information, I wouldn't like her as a person, because I think is is weak to refuse to see your talents and refuse to apply them, and I also think it weak to rely on someone else's magic to draw your talent out (the ultimate result of Night Guard training, presumably).

As a character, however, I get more insight into Summer Sirocco's psyche (such as her backstory ) that I would not get otherwise. I like her cutie mark and my only real frustration with her character comes from how she doesn't attempt to explore or further understand its meaning (I didn't lose interest in her though, so good job!). I know that if there wasn't an obvious connection of my special talent with something I liked doing, I'd explore every connection and meaning of my cutie mark until I was satisfied (still working on that).

So her cutie mark is a single Palm tree in a bed of sand, gained when she cut school with some friends to go to the beach. Palm trees symbolize a lot of different things, not just relaxation or an easygoing nature. What I see from her cutie mark, in context with the story, is a singleness of purpose: she pursues her own ends regardless of the cost to herself or others (ditching school, destroying her relationship with her mom by wanting her to see the truth, confronting her dad). Her big problem is that, when it comes to a career, she has no direction or purpose. She joined the night guard for the wrong reason, but despite that it will allow her to grow in ways that she couldn't before, so good for her.

I love your exploration on the meaning of cutie marks in both your stories here on FiMfiction, even if I don't like how negatively they affect your characters' lives.

Thought provoking and very well written! By the end, I wasn't really sure about her choice at all.

On one hand, she's not doing right by the stallion... but that doesn't mean leaving him necessarily. As far as her noble intention go, she does at least recognize her own flaws to some extent. She also does right in some fashion by Placket by returning and explaining.

But... her twisted individuality is just... it leaves an awful, awful taste. It's a common thing I encounter both in fiction and in real life, and I simply don't understand how one can live that way, fearing settling down and being still and "giving others a say in me". No man's an island.

So... I don't like her. I think her reasons are flawed, but her character is flawed to the point where picking less reckless choices would've been just about as bad. It's like an infection. The best choice would be to treat it quickly, but you didn't and you waited and you whined, so now the only choice is to lop your hand. Either way, you live, but the first is obviously better. (Unless you fear needles and doctors like I do and then dying sounds awesome. )

That's it. I'm done as a writer, especially with stories like this out in the world. Farewell, literary world. I'll trouble you no more *Absconds from writing FOREVER*

Nah I'm kidding. Seriously though, this was a great story. Summer didn't have the greatest personality, being selfish and defiant, but the circumstances you showed us to explain how this came about made her real. Just another victim of elements out of her control, and you presented it excellently. I mean, damn, girl had it rough

I got out of the military during training as well (after three weeks though) so I relate to that feeling of failing to take a big step in changing oneself. Unlike her though I'm alright with being a civvy, though the sting of not sticking with my goal does resurface from time to time. Enough of my prattling, you made a great story, and I'm definitely faving this. Way to go!

(And btw I do kinda like Summer, mainly for the aforementioned tragic/real factor. Still kinda selfish though, but eh)

That was... surprisingly good. Really, really good. Every character in your story except one is an OC, which is something that generally counts as a negative to me, but you built Summer up into somepony believable. Did I like Summer? I'm not sure. I don't like the way she treated Placket, though I can understand why she did. I also do understand the feeling of not being in control of your own life and lacking discipline, and thus I see some parts of myself in Summer. That said, I can't see myself ever agreeing to the transformation.

The side characters were simple but not caricatures, and managed to have some of their own depth despite their short appearances.

The writing is solid all the way; it was easy to understand yet complex and creative enough to hold interest easily. I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors.

I think I have to agree with the others that say Summer does some things that are really selfish. I can sympathize with her though, as she has a history where nopony has her best interests at heart- everypony appears to see her as a means to their own ends and that if she’s not a proper means then she has no place.

I started reading this and was swept along. The way the focus shifts to different times in Summer’s life is used well as a storytelling mechanic. Having gotten emotionally involved in the character’s life and curious about your worldbuilding of the Night Guard (nice characterization for Luna by the way) I found myself intensely disappointed that this appears to be a one-shot (but only because of just how good it is). Know that if you happen to write more for this I will definitely check it out!

Wow. I JUST figured out what your story means. Some friends of mine were talking about what it takes to become a marine, and how they change you into a completely different person. And I was just like, Holy epiphany!

I feel like I just read the first third of a very good story. The characters here are excellent, but the plot seemed incomplete. The backstory is cool and the ending would work well as a jumping-off point for Summer's journey of growth and change, but as is, it leaves us right where we started, with Summer joining an elite military outfit in the hopes that it will change her for the better. You do a great job showing what she's running from, but it would've been nice to see what she's running to.

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. This isn't an uplifting tale about a pony surpassing her limitations. It's a tragedy about someone doomed to chase her own tail, forever telling herself this time will be different.

A brilliant slice of life with a clear understanding of the various perspectives on "identity."

Were the decision made by a less sympathetic and simple character, I would spare not a thought to the implications. However, given such a fleshed out character like Summer Sirocco, the thought was inevitable.

Presented with her whole life and its conflict, I can only assume that, regardless of whether the choice was right or wrong, this is the best ending for Summer Sirocco.