"This week “religious commandos” from Israel attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters. Seven Israelis were injured during the attack with one member of the “Israeli Secret Police” thrown overboard by an 81 year old woman. Jerusalem papers report that Israel is holding the woman for attempted sexual assault.

Is it illegal to rape a pirate on the high seas? We are waiting for a ruling from the International Criminal Court at the Hague on this.

One “commando” tripped over a wheel chair in the dark and fell down a flight of stairs. The injured commando, an Obergruppenfuhrer, a rabbinical rank with the IDF, said, “After shooting the man in the chair, I quickly ran over to get his watch. Imagine how I felt, nearly giving my life for a stinking Timex.”

The helicopters and boats used by the “floating and flying rabbis” were paid for by the US as part of a USAID program funding health clinics in Gaza. Israelis working with USAID on the project indicated that they the “Peace Flotilla” was mistaken for a “refugee resettlement cruise.”

“It is our job to care for the Palestinians. We were only there to do medical inspections, picking those that are healthy enough for labor and finding those who are unfit and need “special treatment.” Sixteen were selected for delousing. Relatives of those who received “special treatment” are waiting for a list of names and where to pick up the ashes.

The United States Senate, led by Josef Lieberman, John McCain and Charles “Chuckie” Schumer, voted unanimously to continue their unbroken support for Israeli efforts to provide a decent homeland for Palestinians, “no matter how many of these worthless Muslim bastards have to die in the process.”

Senator McCain was quick to point out, “My father, Admiral McCain helped organize a similar Israeli effort when the USS Liberty became stranded in international waters near the same area. Israel expended four torpedoes, firebombed the ship 3 times using napalm, hit the ship with over 18,000 rounds of cannon fire and even strafed the lifeboats but was unable to save the 34 killed and 174 injured during this rescue attempt.”

"It's time the Israeli government's PR team made the most of its talents, and became available for hire. Then whenever a nutcase marched into a shopping mall in somewhere like Wisconsin and gunned down a selection of passers-by, they could be on hand to tell the world's press "The gunman regrets the loss of life but did all he could to avoid violence." Then various governments would issue statements saying "All we know is a man went berserk with an AK 47, and next to him there's a pile of corpses, so until we know the facts we can't pass judgement on what took place."

To strengthen their case the Israelis have released a photo of the weapons they found on board, (which amount to some knives and tools and wooden sticks) that the naive might think you'd expect to find on any ship, but the more astute will recognise as exactly what you'd carry if you were planning to defeat the Israeli army."

"This week “religious commandos” from Israel attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters. Seven Israelis were injured during the attack with one member of the “Israeli Secret Police” thrown overboard by an 81 year old woman. Jerusalem papers report that Israel is holding the woman for attempted sexual assault.

Is it illegal to rape a pirate on the high seas? We are waiting for a ruling from the International Criminal Court at the Hague on this.

One “commando” tripped over a wheel chair in the dark and fell down a flight of stairs. The injured commando, an Obergruppenfuhrer, a rabbinical rank with the IDF, said, “After shooting the man in the chair, I quickly ran over to get his watch. Imagine how I felt, nearly giving my life for a stinking Timex.”

The helicopters and boats used by the “floating and flying rabbis” were paid for by the US as part of a USAID program funding health clinics in Gaza. Israelis working with USAID on the project indicated that they the “Peace Flotilla” was mistaken for a “refugee resettlement cruise.”

“It is our job to care for the Palestinians. We were only there to do medical inspections, picking those that are healthy enough for labor and finding those who are unfit and need “special treatment.” Sixteen were selected for delousing. Relatives of those who received “special treatment” are waiting for a list of names and where to pick up the ashes.

The United States Senate, led by Josef Lieberman, John McCain and Charles “Chuckie” Schumer, voted unanimously to continue their unbroken support for Israeli efforts to provide a decent homeland for Palestinians, “no matter how many of these worthless Muslim bastards have to die in the process.”

Senator McCain was quick to point out, “My father, Admiral McCain helped organize a similar Israeli effort when the USS Liberty became stranded in international waters near the same area. Israel expended four torpedoes, firebombed the ship 3 times using napalm, hit the ship with over 18,000 rounds of cannon fire and even strafed the lifeboats but was unable to save the 34 killed and 174 injured during this rescue attempt.”

"It's time the Israeli government's PR team made the most of its talents, and became available for hire. Then whenever a nutcase marched into a shopping mall in somewhere like Wisconsin and gunned down a selection of passers-by, they could be on hand to tell the world's press "The gunman regrets the loss of life but did all he could to avoid violence." Then various governments would issue statements saying "All we know is a man went berserk with an AK 47, and next to him there's a pile of corpses, so until we know the facts we can't pass judgement on what took place."

To strengthen their case the Israelis have released a photo of the weapons they found on board, (which amount to some knives and tools and wooden sticks) that the naive might think you'd expect to find on any ship, but the more astute will recognise as exactly what you'd carry if you were planning to defeat the Israeli army."