Jerry Hayes

Gove is up to his old tricks with the eyes of Caligula and the mercy of Nero he wants to destroy Carney

22 Oct 2016 at 15:32

Poor Michael Gove. I’m getting rather worried about him. I expect to see him sporting a pony tail and a gold earring and buzzing through the streets of Westminster on a Harley Davidson or perhaps drifting into Spearmint Rhino for some ersatz flattery. I am not a psychiatrist, but I have occasionally read the weird ramblings of Liz Jones which I suppose gives me the equivalent of an NVQ in mid life crisis. It seems an eternity ago that he went the full throated bleating, blood soaked Halal of the Tory leadership abattoir . I miss the old boy appearing on our breakfast screens with dynamite strapped to his Marks and Sparks drip dry no iron jim jams. But before he finally pulled the pin he entertained us with a political killing spree taken from the Charles Manson playbook. I had thought that Mother Theresa had scattered his ashes on unconsecrated ground. But no, the Gover is back with a vengeance. And I use those words advisedly. With the flashing eyes of Caligula coupled with the mercy of Nero he has set his sights on the destruction of Mark Carney. Remember him? That little traitor (and a Canadian to boot, the bastard) had the nerve to say that he didn’t take orders from politicians. How dare he? Who does this imperious Ming like figure think he is? Governor of the independent Bank of England? Well, little Johnny Foreigner will be packing his bags on on the first steamer to Canuck land where he can eat all the candles he wants with his Eskimo chums. We’ve had enough of his project fear lies. The economy is booming, the pound never stronger and great countries like North Korea, Nigeria and Zimbabwe are beating down our doors to do trade deals. And soon that greasy little Belgian fellow Juncker will be eating his words. Or is he a Luxembourger? Who cares? These wanky little countries are all the same. Make no mistake they need us more than we need them. The British people have spoken in the largest democratic show of common sense, wisdom and clarity in the history of democracy namely that: all Eu counties will have to speak the Queen’s English as their first language, each year on Freedom Day the chair of the Commission will present Her Majesty with as many sacks of gold that our English Parliament determines appropriate, that it is treasonable for any British company to trade within the Single Market. So none of this shrilly shally around May. GET ON WITH IT.

What is so depressing about the Brexiteers is that they don’t do magnanimous. They want revenge. They want to airbrush out of history those who have a different view from their own. It is deeply unpleasant and just not British. The trick is to try and persuade May not to renew his contract or so undermine him that he slips out of the back door with his tail between his legs.

This is a time for courage and Sadly May hasn’t been showing too much of it lately. It is appalling that there have been no words of support for Carney from Number 10. If she lets him go the fruit loops will demand someone who will do their bidding. And even if someone does step into Carney’s very big shoes he will be branded a stooge.

May has opened far too many unnecessary battles on too many fronts. It’s time she took a grip.
Yet the time for Carney to be rely worried is if Gove offers to run his campaign. It would be game over.