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Author: Julie

I think it’s been a month and a half since I last wrote. I have felt so extremely busy lately, but also feel like hardly anything has gotten done.

In mid-June, the dance recital took place. James did a fabulous job in his jazz routine. I was so impressed with how well he did, especially since this was only his second year of dancing. He also did a good job in his hip hop. Noelle was so cute in her tap outfit and made us all laugh at the way she would look back at her feathered skirt to see the way it moved as she did her little hip movements. She was also quite fun to watch in her ballet dance… as she was about 2 beats off, along with her partner, but they knew the dance and did it all… 2 beats off. I was cracking up a lot watching her. AnnaBeth did well in her ballet routine. She was an adorable skinny deer.

The kids went to their grandparents’ house for two days after that. I spent those days cleaning my house and doing a LOT of laundry.

We went to Six Flags: Great America for the Friday before the Fourth of July. It was so much fun. For most of the kids, this was their first time at a big amusement park. We’d taken James to Holiday World a few years ago, but the girls have never been to one. It was fun watching them get so excited over different and new things.

I signed my three dancers up for summer classes. They love being able to still see their friends and have the classes. I am also taking a class this summer. The studio started offering tap classes and those of you who followed my blog a year and a half ago remember how much I loved tap class. It is popular enough that they have decided to continue offering it through the year. I’m having a lot of fun in that class. It’s so good to dance again. I’ve already registered the kids for their fall dance classes. James is going to be taking Jazz and Hip hop again, plus he’s adding ballet, so it can help him be a better dancer. He is joining the Dance in Love ministry group as well. He’s very excited about that. Noelle is taking ballet and tap again and adding jazz this year. AnnaBeth is going to stick to ballet.

Jeremy was off on a business trip this last week. It’s always rough when he’s gone. I miss him terribly. I had a good amount of migraines while he was gone because I was trying to do so many different things and felt like things were not working out. I needed to take the van for oil and transmission fluid changes and emission testing and went out and found it had a flat tire… and that was just one out of many things that happened.

Ok, I guess I should finish this off with a quick update on my health. I had some blood work done earlier this month for my thyroid levels to see if the medicine is helping. At my dr’s appointment, she said my levels are good for now, so I’m continuing those meds as I have been. I didn’t like the medicine I was taking at night and I told her this. She said we would see how I did without it and so I am slowly weaning myself off of that right now. My anxiety has lessened but I was still having some times that it got too much, so we upped the dosage a bit on the medicine for those. I will be having blood tests on August 9th for my auto-immune disorder. Hopefully, we’ll have more information after that.

I’m back from my week away from the internet. I think it’s good for me to take these little times and totally unplug. Anyway…

It was cold and rainy up until yesterday and BOOM… 90* weather today. It was like the late gray winter weather decided to go as long as it could and then let the heat come in all at once.

Seriously though, I like it. I do miss the 70-80* weather that should have come, but I am very glad it is warm. I don’t do so well with cold. I took a walk down to Walgreens this morning to refill my prescription. I love the sunshine and the slight wind.

Right now, I’m busy with the kids dance rehearsals. They all have extra practices to get ready for the recital in mid-June. AnnaBeth and Noelle got their recital outfits for ballet this last Saturday. I took photos with my phone and will be posting them on FB. I can’t wait to see what Noelle’s got for tap or what James’s outfits will be for hip-hop and jazz. We also have other things to do and I really want to go to the zoo again sometime. I love going to Brookfield zoo. I think this Thursday is free, so hopefully I can take the kids then. (Any of my Chicago-land friends want to join us there?)

I’ve had some lovely times with the three kids that are here. Amie and Chris are down at my in-laws’. I’ve been playing superhero stuff with James and took him out for a little bit the other day. I took the little girls to Pizza Hut and while waiting for our pizza, we put on some music from my phone (not too loud) and danced and sang in our booth. We’ve played with some little dolls and played princess. Today, we all went to see the Kung Fu Panda 2 movie.

This song came out a while ago, but this second verse really stood out to me more these last few months.

I heard the doctor,
But what did he say?
I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.
I don’t need answers,
I just need some peace.
I just need someone who could help me get some sleep,
Who could help me get some sleep.

This is from “When a Heart Breaks” by Ben Rector.

I still feel like the days I heard about my different medical conditions are from a dream sometimes. I’m doing pretty good right now. I haven’t been sick in a little over a week and I’ve been a bouncy, happy Pixie. I have been extremely busy, but it’s been mostly fine.

Today, I had a hard time. I forgot to take my meds this morning and about halfway through the day, I flipped out a bit on Jeremy. Poor guy. I guess it is good to see how well my meds are working.

I’m going to take a small break from any and all computer stuff this week though I will still be able to get e-mails on my phone. I think I’m going to unplug myself and just try to relax and have fun. I’ll be back around in a week or so.

It takes a lot to get me to travel 10 hrs away for just a weekend, but the wedding of my “little sister” was very worth it.

I stayed with one friend and we talked and talked. I got to know her husband and children a bit better. Her two year old attached herself to me whenever I was at the house. It was very sweet.

The wedding was so beautiful. I got there and was pulled into the bridal room to get lots of hugs from the Bride and her family. I spent a lot of time with them when I lived up the street from them. We talked a little and then I left to let them finish getting ready for the wedding.

I had a lot of fun at the reception. Most of the time was spent catching up, meeting husbands of all three girls, and a bit of dancing with the oldest sister. We got a bit crazy silly at the end of the reception. It was fun. I couldn’t help crying as I left. I felt like I hadn’t had enough time with them. I love them so much.

I went to church with the friend I stayed with and got to see her mom and sister (and family) and Mamaw. LoL Mamaw may not be our grandma by genetics, but we all called her that and she treated Jill and me the same as her own grandkids. It was very good to see them all again.

After church, I had my 10 hr drive home, so I took off after saying good-bye to everyone. It had rain all the way home, but it wasn’t too bad. I got home and my kids were still up, so I got some good hugs and Charlie made sure I got kitty rubs on my legs too.

The girls all asked if I could come back and bring my kids with me next time. We’ll have to figure out a time when we can do that. I think they would all have a lot of fun together.

I’m not talking about where I live, but the place that stays in my heart as home. Tennessee…

I’m going to a friend’s house where I stayed over and over when we lived down there.

I’m going to see another friend be married and see her family. I spent a lot of time at their house also.

On Sunday, I’m going to go to the little church I went to almost every other week with friends. The church that showed me how God loved me enough that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for all of my sins just so I can go live with Him in Heaven and sing and dance for eternity. While there, more friends to see and catch up with.

So… I’m going somewhere that will always be “home” to me no matter where I live.

Hopefully this will be the last post to catch you all up on what is going on.

The same week that I went to the internal med dr and learned about having an auto-immune disorder, I also had an appointment with my other dr to discuss how my depression/anxiety medicines were doing. There were other things that were going on that I wanted to discuss with her as well.

We talked for a while about many different things and I told her about what the other dr found. She said that some of my symptoms that I were having were not related to the auto-immune disorder. She sent me for some blood tests for her and gave me some meds to take care of the symptoms.

The next Monday, I got a phone call. My thyroid levels were too high and they wanted me to come in after the meds I was taking had taken effect and were finished. That was three weeks ago.

This last Friday, I went back to her. She discussed how she thinks that a lot of stuff that I’ve dealt with throughout my life was probably related to thyroid problems and it’s inability to keep stable levels. Headaches from stress that I used to get long ago at school… (I had to leave school many days during 7th and 8th grades because my headaches were so horrible and then those same headaches started during college.)

She gave me some new medicine to help with my thyroid levels. She said that she was going to keep my depression/anxiety meds on the lowest doses because she thought that these new levels would help a lot. She said I would feel a difference within the first week. I have to say that I already feel better. I’ve felt more like myself. It’s been really wonderful.

So… there you go. I’ve updated you all on what is going on with me.

Thank you so very much for the prayers. I really, really appreciate it.

Let’s see… where did I leave off? Oh yes, leaving my dr after being diagnosed and given prescriptions for depression and anxiety.

A week after that appointment, the kids got sick. I had a sick kid cuddling with me every day. It pretty much just seemed like a really bad cold for them. A week later, I felt like I couldn’t breath. I had no other symptoms, but since the kids had been sick, I was pretty sure it was the same thing. It was so bad that I went to the hospital. I think I remember blogging about it. I had no fever and when they did a blood test, my white blood cells were not elevated which usually shows a viral or bacterial infection, so after a while, they thought maybe it was my gallbladder because they couldn’t figure out anything else… they sent me home and told me to call an internal medicine dr (different one from my other dr.) the next day and get checked immediately.

I called and got an appointment for the day after. By the time I went in, my head was all stuffy, my throat hurt, and I felt achy all over. The dr was surprised that the hospital didn’t know that I had bronchitis and had them fax my blood tests to him while I was there. He said that my blood tests didn’t look correct, so he was going to have them redone and asked if he could take a few vials of blood to do some other tests with. I had no problem with that. I just wanted to feel better. I left thinking that was it and I would get better.

Three weeks later, just after my grandma died, I was still somewhat getting better from the bronchitis. I felt like it was taking a long time to go completely away. I got a call from the dr… “Your blood test results are in and we need you to come in to discuss them.” My heart dropped at hearing that. I started thinking… maybe it wasn’t bronchitis. Maybe it was something worse. Maybe… you know how your mind goes over and over different things.

I went in the next day and the dr asked about how I was doing with my depression and anxiety first. He wanted to make sure that was under control before anything, I guess. After that, he pulled out my blood test results and started showing me how it showed my immune system hadn’t been working correctly and that’s why the virus that the kids had passed on to me had made me so sick. He said the reason the tests had taken so long to get back was because he did them in a series and not all at one time. He waited for results from the first one before sending in the second so he would know what to test for. The last test he did was to see if I had an auto-immune disorder. It came up positive.

I sat there for a little while just kind of shell shocked. Then I asked if scleraderma was an auto-immune disorder. My grandma had had that. He said it was. Finding out three days after her memorial service really was hard. It’s not certain what kind it is, but he said it is highly possible that it is the same as what she had. He said he wanted to wait a while before more testing. So, we are going to do more in early August.

(Wow… that’s as much as I can write out today… I’m not done, but I think the rest can be written in only one more post. I’ll do my best to write it out tomorrow.)

I have had many people ask me how I’m doing and what is going on. Those who know have asked for updates as dr’s appointments come and go. Those who don’t have kept me encouraged by letting me know they are praying for me and thinking of me. So many people have texted, called, e-mailed, and left messages on Facebook. I am very grateful to find out how many people care.

I’ve been struggling with some things for a while… depression, anxiety, stress. This last year has seemed even rougher than usual for me. I just thought it was with all the different things going on… my messed up wrist, AnnaBeth’s broken collar bone, Christine’s stitches, CharlieCat almost dieing, and my grandpa dieing. By the end of January/beginning of February, I was a mess. I couldn’t cope with a lot of things.

Starting the last week of January, I stepped away from internet communications for a while… except for my blog and e-mail. I didn’t chat or go to Facebook and really cut down a lot of my texting. I started making more phone calls to friends and having that more personal contact. It helped a little but I was still having horrible anxiety attacks. Finally in mid-February, one friend talked to me and pretty much insisted I call a dr the next work day. I was hesitant about calling my dr, but when the time came, I got a postcard in the mail saying to call my dr for a check-up. I called.

I didn’t even have to bring up how I was feeling. As soon as the dr walked into the room, she saw my anxiety. I was in a full-blown panic attack. I was shaking and when I tried to talk, I kept repeating words and stuttering. She sat down and we talked for a little while about it and how it was affecting me in every day life. It was a really hard appointment to me, but it was so very good to have someone to talk to that could help. She put me on some medication… the lowest doses to see if it would help and I made an appointment to come back after 6 weeks to see how I was doing on it. I left there feeling like a failure to have to fall back on medication, but I knew I couldn’t do it by myself anymore.

(I’m going to write more tomorrow… this is really hard to write out. Plus, it’s long, so I’m giving it in segments. So… more later.)

This weekend was just a crazy, crazy time for me. I needed the busy-ness of it even though I don’t like being this busy most of the time.

On Friday, after dropping Jeremy off at the train station, I had another dr’s appointment. I think since I’m starting to feel more okay with things that I might share a little more about what is going on, but be patient with me, my friends… I am still coming to terms with everything.

After the dr’s appointment, I went home and picked up the kids. They’d made a picnic lunch while I was at the dr’s office and were all ready to go to the zoo. We have a membership at Brookfield Zoo. It was a lot of fun. We were outside most of the time and spent about 5 hours walking around. Well, most of the time we walked. Near the end, the kids started taking turns getting into the wagon since we no longer needed it to carry the food and drinks. Guess what? I took a turn too! The kids and I giggled so much while they pulled me around.

After the zoo, we came home and I had about ten minutes before I had to head off and go to the train station to get Jeremy. We had a bit of a detour before coming home… we went and bought a second vehicle! I have a car now. It will help save gas and we just needed a second one anyway. Too many things going on right now.

Today, we got up, got the kids ready for dance classes and then I went and rented a small U-Haul van to go pick up some things from my grandparents’ apartment while Jer stayed home and made sure the kids all got to their classes. The trip for me was about 6 hours of driving with a half hour break while the van was loaded up. I got home, we quickly unloaded it and I barely got the van back to the place at the time they needed it for someone else who had reserved it. Whew… what a trip. My wrist hurts a bit from driving that big thing because the steering wheel vibrates so much.

Once I got back home, we packed the kids up in the van and we headed over to the church for a “Back to Africa” Barbecue. We have some missionaries who are trying to get back to their mission field in Africa, but were running low on funds, so our church held this fund raiser for them. It was a lot of fun. I got to be in the fashion show and had on this cute blue outfit with a scarf tied around my head. I know pictures were taken, so I expect it to show up on Facebook at some time… LoL

In the next few weeks/months… hmmm… I sing in the Praise team next week, then in two weeks go to Kingsport for a friend’s wedding (YAY!) and I’ll get to see a few other friends while down there. Then dance classes start getting crazy in preparation for the recital in June. I have my next blood test and dr’s appointment at the beginning of July and another dr’s appointment in early August. Then Andrew and Betsy’s wedding is August 13.

I’ve just gotten home and I’m pretty tired, but not sleepy. It’s funny how that works… I’m exhausted, but my mind is going crazy with everything going on and I can’t settle down. I ought to try, right? Well, off I go to try to sleep.

Last Saturday night, there was a big all-night youth event here called Breakaway. It’s an annual event that our church group attends. We had 14 kids come with our group and we had a pretty good time.

We started with a rally at Trinity Christian College. I enjoyed the speaker and the improv group.

The rest of the night the youth groups were split into three large groups of around 200 people each. We had pizza first and then spent two hours each at Odyssey Fun World (an arcade), a bowling alley, and Lifetime Fitness, ending the night at 7am Sunday morning and heading back to the church.

I found there was a lot I still am not able to do since hurting my wrist almost a year ago. I had a hard time playing skeeball and laser tag. I couldn’t bowl, play volleyball, basketball, dodge ball, or go rock climbing. Most of my night was sitting or standing around talking, but I love to talk, so it wasn’t bad.

On Sunday, the kids had their Easter musical. It was called Fish Tales. James had some speaking lines and did a great job with them. He played his favorite… the comedian. Christine had a solo and did a an awesome job. I was very proud of my children. Noelle was too young to participate, but the others all did so well.