I never thought that I would take offense to the word. Yet, here I am, fuming my ass off. James said he wanted to be just friends with me after he fucking made out with me. Again. Against a bookcase. In an empty classroom. And resulted in the two of us having detention with ol’ Minnie. He’s such an idiot.

An idiot that I want to kiss again really badly. Because it was freaking amazing just like the first time. Even thinking about it now, my toes tingle and my heart beats and my stomach erupts into butterflies and my limbs shake and I can smell him and feel him and taste him on my lips…

Fuck it. There is no way that I can be just friends with him. It’s impossible. So what do I do about it? I don’t want rejection. I don’t understand James Sirius Potter one little bit. He kisses me and he seems like he enjoys it, but then he is basically begging me to just be friends with him. A week ago, I would’ve given anything to be his friend again. But now that he’s kissed me…twice...being friends with him is far from satisfying anything.

Plus, I think that he likes me.

I can’t be too sure. He seemed like he did when he pinned me against both the wall and the bookcase and then completely attacked my mouth. But then again, he did seem to regret it both times. I am so confused right now that it’s not even funny.

“Elaquay, you look like you’re going to murder someone,” Rose clarified with a concerned expression on her face. We were sitting in the common room, relaxing on the squashy armchairs in front of the fire. Well…as close to relaxing as we could get.

Rose had her hair tied back and she was violently scribbling on a long piece of parchment, her face twisted in concentration. I just sat there fuming about James.

I grunted in response.

Rose sighed and set her quill down.

“Look, my cousin is a bluddering idiot. We already established this. So can you just cheer up a bit and forget about it?” she asked.

I glared at her.

“Rose, shut up. He kissed me. Twice. And then he had the nerve to beg me to be his friend. I have a right to be a bit pissed off,” I spat, clenching my fists.

“I know, Els, but I’m just saying that you would feel better if you let yourself cool off. He’ll come around, I’m sure.”

I watched as she turned her attention back to her paper.

I just shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to shut out any thought of James, but; I found it impossible. Why does he have to make things so freaking hard? Why can’t he just ask me out so that we can kiss whenever we want, laugh, skip through the grounds hand in hand, and live happily ever after? Okay… maybe the last two are a bit out there…but I would love to kiss him whenever I want, as well as laugh with him.

But no. Now I’m stuck with an awkward friendship. I know it’s going to be awkward because we now won’t be able to be within a close proximity of each other without weird happening. I just know it.

I glanced at my wristwatch and realized that it was going to be seven soon. I sighed. Time for detention alone with the douche. This was going to be a scene.

This will be the first time I face him since the kiss, actually. I’ve done my best to avoid him, but it hasn’t made much of a difference. I’ve avoided him for like three weeks straight. However, I think that the Weasley-Potters are about concerned to see that we aren’t talking. They probably assumed that since I’m friends with the rest of them again, that James and I would’ve made up.

The only people who know about what really went down are Rose and Lily…although I think that Albus suspects something.

“Gotta go to detention, Rose. See you later,” I grumbled.

Rose gave me a reassuring smile and said, “Good luck.”

I gave her a half hearted grin in return before turning toward the portrait hole and making my way to ol’ Minnie’s office.

I was grumbling the whole way over there. I just can’t get over this crap! I hate James so much right now! Okay, not really. I just want to jump him. But…but…I’m so sexually frustrated right now! And how am I going to survive detention with him? I’m not.

I started to shake out of anticipation. What will Minnie make us do? Lock us in a tiny cramped room and clean the walls? James and I plus tiny cramped room are just…um…not very compatible. Actually it is compatible. It would be freaking amazing. But it wouldn’t help the situation.

I gulped and knocked on Minnie’s door. Okay…I can do this. I can do this. It’s only for a few hours. It’s not a big deal. Really, it’s not.

Yeah it is.

Shut up.

“Enter.”

I could barely hold on to the handle as I pushed the wooden door open. Minnie was using her wand to file through some papers. She looked up at me with a small frown at her face.

“Right on time, Miss Smithson. I can’t say the same for Mister Potter, however,” she stated blatantly. Her lips were thin as she looked back down at the papers. With a swish of her wand, the papers sorted themselves into a completely neat and organized pile.

Then, with a huge bang, the door flew open and in stumbled a very flustered looking James. His hair was all messy and windswept, and he was breathing like he had run here all the way from America.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him. I quickly snapped my head away from him and held my breath, determined not to look into his eyes.

It’s always the eyes that get to the people in the movies.

“You’re late, Mister Potter,” Minnie said in a clipped tone.

“I’m…sorry. Lost….track of….time,” he panted from behind me.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

“And for that, you will be staying an extra fifteen minutes for your detention, which you will start right now.” She stood up and stared at us, her eyes pointed and her aura wise and regal. Psshhhh…yeah yeah, Minnie. We all know you’re really a party animal. I saw you at my party in August.

Probably not the best time to bring it up.

Both James and I followed her out of the room and down a few flight of stairs. We were all silent.

I was aware of James behind me. I could hear his footsteps. I could hear his breathing. But I didn’t dare look back. Nope. My goal tonight is to NOT look at him whatsoever. If he tries to talk to me, I’ll resort to one word responses. I don’t care if we are “friends” right now. The fact is…I’m pissed. Royally pissed. He has no right to go around kissing the shit out of me and then declaring the platonic nature of our friendship. The platonicness got flushed down the toilet this summer.

“I feel rather generous tonight, so you two will be in the trophy room. You know the rules, obviously,” she stared at us with a strange twinkle in her eye. Yes, I can’t count the amount of times James and I have ended up in the trophy room for detention. But then again, it was for a different reason that didn’t involve saliva exchange.

“I have cast a charm upon the room that will alert me of any promiscuous behavior. You two will be working on the prefect trophies. Have a nice night.” With that, Minnie opened the door and ushered us in.

My face was beet red from her mention of the charm. This was beyond awkward.

The prefect trophies gleamed at me, and there were two pails and wash clothes sitting side by side, waiting for us. The door shut behind us and now it was just me and James. Alone.

We both stood still. Absolutely silent. He was right behind me. And I didn’t make one move. Or sound. I held my breath and clenched my fists, my heart speeding up.

I walked forward toward the pail, sat on my ass and grabbed the wet wash cloth. Might as well get this shit done. The water was lukewarm and kind of nasty. I grimaced as I grabbed a small golden trophy and started to rub it absentmindedly. I glanced at the inscription.

It read Lily Evans: Head Girl, 1972

Go figure.

Hey, Miss Potter senior! Can you tell your grandson to stop being such an idiot and just hook up with me already? I know this may sound crude, but I’m royally pissed! Can’t you do anything from heaven? Like send a huge lightning bolt or something?

Wow. I’m officially crazy.

James sat next to me. I dared myself to glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He slowly started to wipe away at a huge golden trophy, his brown eyes glazed over. I gulped and looked away.

I sniffed slightly.

He cleared his throat.

I gave ground my teeth together.

He gave a small cough.

Shit. Three hours of this? I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t…

You know what? Fuck this. I have to say something. Anything.

“So…” I started, cringing at how weak my voice sounded. “The weather is still pretty warm for fall isn’t it?”

Kill me now.

Bringing up the weather is about the most clichéd and awkward things anyone can do.

James furiously threw down his rag and glared at me menacingly. His brown eyes were smoldering once again and I found that my stomach erupted in butterflies. Again.

“Cut the bloody shit, Elaquay,” he spat.

I immediately felt my insides flare up as I glared back at him, giving him my nastiest face.

“I’m not the one who needs to cut the shit, James. You’re the one who’s fucking with my head. I already made it clear about how I feel about you,” I snapped back, my fingers squeezing onto the rag so hard that the blood was draining from my hands.

“No, you didn’t,” he said darkly.

“Excuse me?” I yelled.

“You didn’t Els! You didn’t say one bloody thing about how you felt. Not directly anyways. Don’t say that you’re confused because I already know that you are. And for the record, I’m not going to have any sort of enlightenment anytime soon…” he ranted, his eyes blazing.

Yup, I am making eye contact with him. Ten minutes into the detention and my plan already failed.

“Well, you wouldn’t tell me how you felt about me!” I yelled.

“I bloody kissed you!” he yelled back.

I stood up and towered over him. Never did I think that I’d feel taller than James Sirius Potter.

“Yeah and then you basically stuck a knife in my ass and said that you just wanted to be friends…”

He stood up abruptly and towered over me, his body basically pressed up against mine. I glared up at him and he glared down at me. We were both seething and my heart was literally leaping up to my throat. My hands were shaking and I was so close to him…so close…so close….

“Elaquay, you have to bloody understand…get this through your thick skull…that I just can’t do this,” he said in a dangerously low voice.

“Why?” I hissed back.

That’s all I wanted to know. Why? Why? Why? Why?

His eyes blazed a deep brown mixed with a shining gold. I gulped. He gently placed a hand on my cheek. I shuddered and bit my lip.

“You’re my best mate, Els. Well…you were.”

I was distracted by his hand that was on my cheek. Like…really really distracted. But I could still hear his words and process them.

He withdrew his hand from my face slowly, a rather sad expression on his face.

“All I want right now is to just be the best mates we were before everything got all fucked up. And we can never be like that again if we keep this up…whatever the hell this is. I’m just so…” he looked extremely frustrated as he slowly took a few steps back. The air between us was thick and I had a hard time breathing.

“...confused. I didn’t expect anything to happen at the ball or yesterday. It’s just...too strange for me,” he finally declared, looking down at his feet. He looked nervous as hell.

And I understood.

We had been fighting for almost three weeks and I had hurt him pretty badly. It would be fucking overwhelming to make up as friends and then not even two minutes later, be making out against the wall.

And I want my best friend back.

I really really do.

Sure, I want to be with him. Really really badly. And I’m still pissed as hell at him for kissing me twice and then insisting on friendship.

But I can see where he’s coming from.

I may be an impulsive loon, but James isn’t used to being extremely impulsive. And he has been lately.

But still. It’s going to take a hell load of effort for me. I mean, now that I’ve kissed him, I can’t go back. I really can’t. But I can try and at least make it half way can’t I?

“Alright, fine,” I stated flatly.

We were silent for a few seconds, both of us avoiding each other’s eyes.

“But I need one more thing before we decide to go all buddy buddy again,” I said in a firm voice, despite the shaking of my limbs and the pounding of my heart. Was I really going to ask this?

He kept staring at me.

“Kiss me,” I said quietly, but loud enough for my voice to resonate throughout the whole damn trophy room. I wanted to look down at my feet and cringe at the cheesiness of the phrase, but I kept my gaze on James’s face, my shoulders shaking and my stomach erupting in explosives. My heart was lodged in my throat and my eyes started to water.

James’s eyes widened. He looked down at his feet again and ran a nervous hand through his hair. His hand was shaking.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Els…”

I cut across him.

“Just kiss me and I won’t say another word about the ball or this or anything that associates you and I as anything more than platonic,” I said, my voice rising as I clenched my fists.

I realized that I was moving closer and closer to him. He stood stock still.

But I was now pressed up against him and I was looking up at his face. He was avoiding my eyes, a conflicted expression on his face. I could tell that he was shaking.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. I could hear the violent pounding of his heart as I wrapped my arms around his shaking limbs and just hugged him.

I felt every sensory neuron in my body explode with the close proximity between James and I. I bit my lip and felt my eyes tear up. How can I ever hug James again as a friend when I feel like this?

Suddenly, I felt James’s gentle fingers pry me off of him. He held me at only a foot’s length away from him, his hands still gently on my shoulders.

His eyes were glowing as he studied my face. I started to hyperventilate, but I stood as still as I could trying to calm my breathing. Everything was still. The world was still. It was just me and him right now. We were the only existing beings in the world.

Then, he grabbed the sides of my face, bent down, and placed his lips upon mine.

It was gentler and sweeter than the other torrential make out sessions that we had, but it didn’t lose any of its passion. I felt the familiar sensation of losing all feeling in my limbs and then the heated fire that sweltered throughout my veins. I stood on my tiptoes and reached up to once again snake my arms around his neck. His hands were tangled in my hair again.

Everything was just a haze of colors. Swirling hues of gold and red fire that licked at under my skin. The sweet taste of his lips completely did me in.

Don’t stop. I don’t want to stop. Shit, I don’t think that I can…

A loud earsplitting shrieking noise caused both James and I to jump apart in alarm. It was an unpleasant pulsating noise that could give a freaking mandrake a run for its money.

Suddenly, without warning, I felt some force grab my heel. I yelped as I felt something tug me up higher and higher into the air. I was upside down as I stared at the cold hard stone floor below me.

What the fuck? Did someone levicorpus my ass? What the hell?

I turned my head to see that James was in the same position as I was, alarm written all over his features.

The door burst open and in came ol’ Minnie with…was that a smirk on her face? She twirled her wand between her fingers and said, “I said that there was an anti-promiscuity charm on this room, didn’t I Miss Smithson? Mister Potter?”

Fuck. I forgot.

I groaned frustratingly as I stared Minnie’s smug expression. Seriously, is it even legal for teachers to find this sort of shit enjoyable?

I felt the blood rush to my head. This is not funny. I want to be let down really badly. I mean, it’s funny when it happens to someone else, but when I’m the victim, it’s a TOTALLY different story.

Minnie swished her wand and both James and I started to slowly lower to the ground. I let out a sigh of relief when I felt the cold stone beneath my body.

“Now you know what happens to those who break the rules. Proceed,” she said flatly before turning around with a swish of her cloak and exiting the trophy room.

I just stared after the crazy woman blankly. It was just a damn kiss! Seriously! It’s not like we were lap dancing or something, Merlin!

I gritted my teeth as I felt my cheeks heat up. I grabbed the abandoned rag and proceeded to wipe Lily Evans’ head girl trophy with as much force as I could.

That was so embarrassing. Seriously.

The air around me was thick. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him. I probably just made everything more awkward. God, I’m such a freaking idiot.

After a few more moments, James finally spoke.

“Remember when it was your first year at Hogwarts and you had a crush on Al? You told me about it and made me pinky promise not to tell anyone?”

My heart did a little flutter as I remember little James laughing his tiny arse off at my newly revealed secret.

“Yeah, and then you dragged both Al and I into the room of requirement and the whole place was decorated in this god awful white lace and flowers and there were about twenty Gryffindors in there. You said that we had just arrived in time for the wedding,” I smiled as I recounted the memory. I was mortified and pissed. Al was just confused.

“That was a pretty good prank if I may say so myself,” he said with a small laugh.

“Psshh, not as good as that time when Al and I chained you to the roof of the castle in your boxers in fourth year and wouldn’t let you down until you sang I’m Bringing Sexy Back,” I retaliated splashing him with water from my rag.

He splashed me back with a sly smile and said, “Or when we got in that huge battle with the giant squid and you climbed up its tentacle.”

“Yeah… and then it swung you around like a freaking torpedo and hurled you like at the other end of the lake,” I said, smiling as I remembered the memory.

Sigh. Me and James had some pretty damn good times. The good days when we were nothing but platonic buds. The good days were hormones weren’t raging and we spent all of our time together debating on the best way to piss Tetra off.

“Remember when we convinced the house elves to march into the great hall with a whole bunch of steak knives and pretend to rebel against the students? I think Rose was tearing up with happiness,” He asked.

“Yeah. I’ll never forget Tetra’s face.”

After a few more minutes of talking and laughing, we fell into a silence. We just stared at each other and my heart started to pound again. I held my breath as the air grew thick and I remembered that it’s not the same anymore. We’re definitely not going to be platonic, no matter how hard we are going to try. There will never be a time now when I’m around him that I won’t want to kiss him. Maybe if we tried it can get better, but I’ll always remember it.

Maybe we can be together.

Just…not now.

I tore my gaze away and stared at my hands. They were shaking again…not to mention covered in soapy crap. I grimaced and took a deep breath, holding it in my lungs for a little while before letting it out shakily.

We continued to work in silence for a good portion of the time. And I hated it. I hate this so much.

Why do I have to freaking like James Sirius Potter of all people?

Look where it’s gotten me!

I’ve mutilated our friendship. Now it’s nothing but a shadow of what it once was. Plus, it’s now laced with unbearable awkwardness and thick sexual tension.

“James…” I said softly, biting my lip. My throat felt thick and I had the overwhelming urge to cry again.

Seriously?

I’m so fucking sick of crying.

I want to staple my tear ducts shut.

Actually no I don’t. That would be extremely painful.

And gruesome.

I turned my head to look over at him. He was frozen. His expression was stony as he stared forward, his gaze determinedly avoiding me.

“James, look at me.”

I shivered as I remembered what James had said to me before he kissed me at the ball.

“Elaquay, look at me.”

He ran his hand nervously through his hair, but he didn’t make any movement to actually face me.

I closed my eyes and let out another sigh as I said softly, “I’m sorry.”

No answer. I kept looking at my hands.

“I’m so sorry that I fucked everything up. I’m sorry that I was a bitch all year. I’m sorry that I screwed our friendship over. I’m just so sorry about everything…”

My voice started to break. Why the hell was I apologizing? Why? Why? I already did enough damn apologizing! James should be the one groveling at my feet right now.

But nevertheless, I kept going. And he didn’t say a word to stop me.

“I-I’m sorry James. I’m sorry that I just had to fall in love with you of all p-people…” I froze for a second, midsentence. Did I really just say that?

Did I really just freaking say that?

Fuck you, word vomit.

Seriously. Fuck you to hell and back.

I bit the insides of my mouth. I am such a failure at life. Is it to strip off the clothes and join the centaurs in the wilderness?

That sounds really appealing actually…the freedom of looking at the planets and skipping around naked. And no one would judge me!! And I’d never have to think about hormones again! And I can learn how to become a badass human hybrid bitch who can shoot arrows better than Legolas.

…

This is the third time I’ve thought about joining the centaurs in the span of about three weeks. That’s not healthy.

But as I looked over at James, I knew that I was in the deep now. There was no way out of this one.

I might as well just tell the freaking truth straight out. It’s not like he doesn’t KNOW anyways.

His brown eyes were glowing as he stared straight at me, his lips slightly parted. His hair is messier than usual as it frames his face…not to mention that it sticks at odd angles.

This is the dude I’m in love with.

James Sirius Potter.

The Quidditch dude.

The attractive Potter.

The prankster.

The epitome of Gryffindor.

My best friend.

“You know what James?” I said, feeling my voice grow harsh and firm.

I jump to my feet and hastily wipe the tears from my eyes. I stare at him with all of the steel that I could muster. My heart is pounding. His eyes are glowing as he wordlessly watches me.

“Fuck this shit. I’ll just say it loud and clear. No more bitching around like a pansy.”

I took a deep breath and continued, “I’m in love with you, James. I fancy the knickers off of you…or however you Brits say it…wait a minute. Knickers are for girls…okay, scratch that last statement. I think you get my point. I’ve been in love with you since last year during the spring. And after all that shit that went down at the burrow, everything just got fucking out of control and being the impulsive bitch that I am, I just started to do random crap. You know I hate being overwhelmed. I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but whatever. It happened and that’s that. I just really really love you, James. I wish that you would love me back, but it’s alright if you don’t…just as long as you don’t hold this completely embarrassing tirade against me for the rest of my life. Just…just be my friend if that’s all you want because I can’t imagine life without you and I know I sound like I’m reciting a scene from a Nicholas Sparks book, but I just can’t…I just…..”

I took a deep shaky breath and then without thinking or daring to look at his face, I spun on my heel and ran out of the trophy room.

I don’t care if I’m not done with detention. Ol’ Minnie can suck it.

Plus, the door isn’t even locked. Not even magically. Ol’ Minnie seriously is losing her touch.

I ran, blindly twisting and turning. Going this was and that way.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I was just running around in circles in one spot. I suddenly stopped and examined my surroundings.

Oh God. That’s exactly what I had just been doing.

I’m losing it.

I groaned and started to run up through the castle like a torrential torpedo, not caring if I am waking the whole damn castle. I don’t give a fuck if Filch shows up. The worst he can do is throw his cat at me.

It’s about time that cat died, honestly. I think there’s some sort of anti-aging charm on that little bitch.

I tripped and stumbled several times as I ran up stairs and through passage ways. My body seemed to know where it wanted to go, but my brain couldn’t process anything.

I don’t even remember climbing through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room. I vaguely remember charging up to the sixth year boy’s dormitory and barging in, the door slamming against the wall.

What time is it? It’s like freaking eight o’ clock! What’s wrong with people nowadays?

I stomped over to Albus’s bed and saw him sprawled out, his black hair sticking at odd angles (nothing new there), his eyes closed, and his mouth open.

Wow, very attractive Al.

I started to shake him violently, occasionally jabbing him and punching him. Not a freaking stir. Maybe a snort here or there, but otherwise…nothing.

I growled angrily and yanked the covers off of his body before violently shoving him off of his bed. With a loud slam and a yelp, I know that I had won.

Al stood up, rubbing his head as he glared at me, looking fit for murder.

“Elaquay Smithson, you are the most FUCKING annoying piece of bloody shit I have EVER-“

“Save it,” I snapped at him, attempting to be aggressive and pissy.

But it didn’t work. My resolve crumbled as everything came flooding back to me at full force.

“I need someone to talk to,” I whimpered, despite myself.

He sighed, but his expression softened. He scratched the back of his head and said, “Can’t you talk to Rose or Lily?”

I shook my head fervently. I don’t want to hear the overemotional response from a pair of over hormonal psychotic redheaded females. No. I need to talk to someone level headed. Someone who can provide clarity and balance.

He sighed once again and then sat back down on his bed. He made room for me and then patted the spot next to him.

I climbed onto his bed and rested my head against his shoulder. He embraced me with both arms and started to stroke my hair in that gentle manner that always managed to calm me down.

I immediately started to cool off.

I don’t know what I’d do without Al.

Everything with him is just so easy. He’s the polar opposite of James. While James manages to cause this huge burning fire to envelop every fiber of my being, Albus manages to cool me off and calm me down.

Nothing is awkward with him. Even with the slip up kiss three weeks ago, we managed to fix it the next day. No hesitation. No tension.

James on the other hand….ho ho. Peaceful my ass.

We kiss and everything is fucked.

I bet you anything that if things were different, I would be head over heels in love with Al.

But I’m not. Instead, I’m stuck with pining after the complicated brother who pins me against a wall twice and attacks my mouth before proceeding to insist that we be friends.

Seriously.

“What did my prat of a brother do this time?” he asked.

And just like that, I spill. Everything. From the ball, to the classroom, to the detention and my pathetic confession….

I can’t stop. And it feels good.

Al doesn’t say a word. He just listens to me while he strokes my hair. He doesn’t care that I’m staining his pajamas with tears.

He’s practically my brother. He’s always been like my brother.

Once I was finished, I just lean against Albus and shudder hysterically. But the gentle stroking of my hair starts to calm me down again.

Once my heavy shudders reside to gentle sniffles, he finally spoke, “Damn, you two are horny.”

I couldn’t help myself. I started to laugh through my snot and tears. This is just what I needed right now. Comic and light hearted relief.

He laughed along with me. Once we were done with our bout of giggles, he said, “James is a bluddering idiot, Els. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t fancy you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I know that he has to find me somewhat attractive if he can actually freaking suck my face off, but I just told him everything, Al. I made myself so damn vulnerable down there. I just mutilated any chance of normalcy there could have been.”

“No offense love, but there was no chance of normalcy between you two.”

I sighed and nuzzled my head against the crook of his neck before saying, “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“You won’t be the only one losing sleep over this, y’know. James is just as off his rocker about this as you are,” he responded gently.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I know my brother. And my brother definitely fancies you…a lot. Hell, he more than fancies you. He’s just to freaked out at the prospect of falling in love with someone he’s considered a sibling for the past six years. Not to mention that you two were just starting to become best mates again after a nasty arse brawl, and not even ten minutes later, you two are snogging. Just let him cool down. Do your best to be his best mate again.”

I pondered over his words deeply. Is James really just freaking out right now? I know that he wants his friend back. I really want mine back too.

But can I even give him that? Can I give him a best friend? Can I give him the old Elaquay Smithson?

After a few more minutes of bickering, my eyes started to droop. I was extremely comfortable in Albus’s bed with Albus’s protective arms around me.

I yawned.

“You can sleep here, Els. I’ll just charm the curtains so that no one will see us and suspect something,” he said.

I nodded drowsily, resting my head against his pillow. He gently cleared a few strands of hair away from my face in a very paternalistic fashion before bending down and giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead.

With that, I drifted off into a deep sleep.

**

“Get your arse out of my bed!”

“Wha…”

I felt a huge something smack me in the face. My eyes shot open and I sat up, despite the whirling of my head.

Albus had a devious grin on his face as he brought the pillow down upon me again. I let out a strangled cry as I attempted to shield myself.

Finally, I came to my senses, grabbed my pillow and rammed it into his face.

I laughed as he yelled beneath my pillow. Finally he started yelling, “Mercy! Mercy!”

“I win!” I exclaimed as I withdrew the pillow from his face. He glared at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Y’know you better get out of here before the others wake up. If word gets out that you slept in my bed last night, my girlfriend would have a field day,” he said, the smirk returning to his face.

I gave a mock sigh and responded, “Ah yes. The girlfriend. You know, I have a feeling that she doesn’t like me.”

Albus shook his head and responded, “To be honest Els, she sort of despises you. I mean, I tried to change her mind about you, but she thinks that you’re legitimately insane.”

I shrugged. “She’s got a point there.”

“So if you don’t mind….” He opened the curtains to his bed and motioned for me to leave.

“Pshhh. You’re so chivalrous,” I drawled sarcastically as I forced myself off of the bed. My limbs felt sore and my head was light. The light that filtered in through the window stung my eyes and I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday.

Shit. If anyone sees that I hadn’t changed into my pajamas, not to mention that I was exiting the boy’s dorm…

Ugh. People already think I’m some sort of crazy American slut.

Before I left, I turned around and looked at Al. I smiled at him and said in the most sincere tone I could muster, “Thanks. Seriously, Al. You’re like one of the best people ever.”

He winked at me and responded, “Of course I am.”

I just rolled my eyes as I exited the boy’s dorm. And as I did so, everything came crashing back down on me like a huge tidal wave.

All I wanted to do was run back into the boy’s dormitory and snuggle with Al again so that he can comfort me and tell me everything would be okay. But I think the poor dude’s sick of me now. I mean I did sleep in his bed last night. I also stained his pajamas with my pathetic tears….and I told him everything about my feelings for his brother.

Yeah, I’ll give him a break.

I took a deep breath and headed down to the common room. Thankfully, no one was down. They were probably all still in their rooms or down in the great hall for breakfast.

I quickly scampered up to the girl’s dormitory and swung the door open. Shit.

Rose, Ellie, and Hannah gawked at me as I clambered in.

I probably looked like crap. My hair was a knotted mess, my eyes were probably bloodshot, and I was still wearing my jeans and shirt from yesterday. They were also stained with tears.

“Where the HELL were you, last night?” Rose shrieked, running up to me and grabbing my by the wrist and yanking me forward.

“Yeah. You nearly gave Rosie here a heart attack,” Hannah smirked as she took in my appearance.

I inwardly groaned. She probably thought that I was getting it on or something.

Which I wasn’t.

I yanked my wrist from Rosie’s grip and grimaced at the dull ache in my head.

“Well? Where were you?” Rose demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

Jesus. Mom much?

“With Albus,” I answered simply.

I couldn’t help but smile at the gobsmacked expression on Rose’s face. Her eyes popped out of her head and her mouth fell open. Then, she started stuttering…

“B-But y-you…a-and…James…and… you slept in Al’s BED?”

“Yup,” I answered.

I really find entertainment out of this. Rose was freaking out like no other. I took a glance at both Hannah and Ellie, who were also both gawking at me.

Finally, Rose’s eyes narrowed and she spat, “You are such a WHORE!”

Oh shit. Here we go.

“You can’t just play around with my cousins like that!”

“Rose…”

“…fucking snog one of them and then shag the other the day after…I mean…WHAT THE HELL?”

“Rose…”

“They’re my family and you’re bloody screwing them over…”

“ROSE!!”

She immediately shut her mouth, but her eyes were flaming as she glared daggers at me. Whoa, jeez. That really wounds.

“It wasn’t like that. Cool your shit,” I said in the calmest voice that I could muster.

“What?”

“I was upset about James so I went to Al and he comforted me. I just fell asleep on his bed so don’t flip out. It’s not like it’s unheard of,” I responded with an exhausted sigh.

It is true. I have fallen asleep in the same bed as both James and Al before. No big deal.

“O-Oh….yeah. Erm, sorry,” Rose stuttered sheepishly, turning red. She avoided my gaze as she stared down at her feet.

Well, looks like I have some more explaining to do. I’ll probably have to repeat the whole thing to Melody, Mary, and Sarah.

Great. Just great.

**

We headed down to the great hall after about half an hour. I got cleaned up and due to the fact that Ellie and Hannah happened to be around, they just had to stick their heads up my ass and “girl me up.”

They couldn’t do much (thankfully), due to the fact that it was a school day and I had to wear my robes, but they did do my hair. They coated it with gobs of that sleakeazy’s crap and then straightened it so that it looked unnaturally sleek and shiny and smooth and non-torrential. They also smothered my face in shit. Well…not really. Just some eye liner, shadow, and mascara. But still.

Oh well. It’s not that bad.

Rose was still embarrassed and ashamed that she immediately assumed I had hooked up with Al. I kept telling her that it was all cool, but she still feels awful for calling me a whore and whatnot.

In the great hall, I sat with the girls. I immediately started stuffing my face to keep busy. I did not want to look up from the security of the table. I didn’t want to see face expressions. I didn’t want to see emotions. I didn’t want to see anything but the damn omelet in front of me.

Most importantly, I didn’t want to look at James. I didn’t want to see any part of him at all.

“…So you’re saying that he kissed you three times, and he still wants to be friends?” scoffed Sarah.

“Yup,” I answered through a mouthful of omelet, avoiding her disdained face.

“What a tosser,” remarked Melody distastefully.

“I think that we’ve all established that my cousin is a bluddering idiot,” Rose huffed. “I’ve already heard it about a thousand times from Els.”

“Oh, don’t even try and defend my brother, Rose. He’s a dunderhead,” came the snapping authoritative voice of Lily as she grabbed a piece of toast from Rose’s plate (causing Rose to glare venomously), and then slide into the seat next to me.

“So, Els? How did detention go?” Lily asked lightly as she munched on the toast.

I groaned and banged my head against the table, realizing that I’ll have to repeat the story….AGAIN.