Can I just start off this post (a post that I believe will be ridiculously lengthy) by saying that I am dreadfully sorry for not keeping this updated? Aha, truth is, school gets way to busy for me to keep up with this during the semester so I just stopped. However, I’m officially on summer break! So I can go back to my reading, and I can work, and also…I can keep up with the blog!

I must say, firstly, that Rhiannon was the one to kind of reel me back into this. I swear I didn’t know that I was that entertaining and people really paid attention to my posts and noticed I was missing. And I think I even got an award, too! Crazy. To be honest though, I don’t even know how many followers I have, and I even forgot how exactly to navigate the site but…I’ll manage.

So…on to this update. As I say on a pretty much daily basis, “Lawd, oh Lawd.” I really don’t even know where to start. I guess….I can start where my last update post left off.

Firstly, I stay on Twitter. It’s really just shameful how much I tweet and how much time I spend on there. I need to do better and find better things to do with my time. But I’d be happy to gain any of you as new followers! I will, though, throw a little disclaimer out there and say that I have absolutely no filter whatsoever on Twitter, so if you find yourself easily offended then that isn’t the social media outlet for you to follow me on. You’ve been warned! I also decided not to link my WordPress and Twitter directly because a lot of the people I may refer to here definitely may or may not follow me on Twitter. So there.

Um, secondly…I have learned so much in the past 8 months or so. I’m not the same person that I was in August of last year. Maybe that just comes with all of the experiences I’ve had, or maybe it’s just with getting older and realizing what I want and what I expect from people. I will admit that it’s led to disagreements and redefining of some relationships, but this is totally okay with me. I just have a completely different look on life nowadays. I’m not living to please people anymore.

In the boys/relationship department…well it seems like that’s always some kind of part of my life, whether it’s minute or literally the only thing going on. I’ve had my ups and downs with that over the past couple of months, but I’ve also kind solidified what it is that I want in a relationship, and in a potential guy. So nowadays…instead of falling for anyone that gives me a second look, I try to get to know them and see what they’re about before I try to take matters farther. But in the same breath I’m also not even actively lookinf for a relationship. Yes, I want one, but it’s just better to wait for it to come to me. But it’s interesting when you find people that go almost totally against what you want and expect out of a guy, and you’re attracted to hime anyway…..but we’ll talk about that in a later post!

School is school. I like it though! I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself other than work over this entire summer, seriously. It’s just hard going three and a half months not doing anything while most of the year your life is literally defined by being at school. But at least I get to work. I still have my old job but I’m applying for a second one, just to keep myself busy and to have extra money lying around. I also am trying to become more financially responsible, so I have my own phone plan and a credit card and whatnot. I’m just gradually trying to get independent.

Well, I supposed that other than that, things are kind of okey-dokey. Haha. I’m somewhat satisfied with life and whatnot. Things could always be better, but I have no complaints. I’m looking forward, however, to keeping this thing updated for once, and yeah! I’m back in it!

I had super high expectations over the summer when I thought about my first semester experience in the apartments. Firstly, I was super excited because my friend had mirrors on her closet, so I automatically assumed that mine would be that way as well. I also automatically assumed that I would get along with my roommates and we would be super great friends. I also had Mr. Socially Inexperienced in there somewhere, but we all understand how that worked out.

The first thing that I noticed immediately was that I didn’t have a mirror on my closet.

Meh, oh well. I could live without it.

Then we approach the subject of my roommates. Can I just…let me just put a couple of general “rules” that I abide by as a roommate and what I expect out of those that I room with.

I’m not trying to be “buddy-buddy” necessarily. I do, however, give common courtesy and respect to those that I’m living with and in turn expect the same.

Times are hard. If anyone is like me, they do not by any means have a lot of money coming in and therefore find it sensible to cook for everyone when you cook. I think that if everyone cooks like once a week and just tries to help everyone else out, then you’ll end up saving money and reaping the benefits in the end.

Along with this, I’m a firm believer that if you produce anything (other than a favorite food or something like that) in the house, you should at the very least offer some of what you have. Not everyone else will say yes every time.

If I already know one of the people living with me, I’ll still make an effort to include everyone else. Not trying to be “buddy-buddy,” but let’s at least have some form of togetherness.

Does that sound sensible enough to you? Because I think so.

So, obviously, if I’m putting these four things up here that obviously means that I have some type of issue when it comes to my roommates and the above “rules.” So can we just address some of these issues?

I swear I cannot get these girls to give me a decent “hello” when I walk in the room unless I do it first. I’m not asking you to kiss my pinky toe. I’m asking you to be a decent, courteous human being and address someone when I (or anyone I bring to my apartment) walk into the room. I do the same.

The first week and a half of me being in the apartment, I was severely short on money. I seriously had maybe 2 pounds of hamburger meat, peanut butter and jelly, and bread. Also cheese and ham. I figured I could make burgers for all of us on some days, and other days they’d cook, and I’d have sandwiches every now and then, and whatever. While I made three meals for everyone that first and second week, the girl in the bedroom next to me made dinner for all of us once. The other times she made food for her, the girl in the third bedroom, and one of her other friends. I, on the other hand, went to my friend’s apartment for meals instead.

Like I said above, I was offered food like, once. Me? I offered every time I made something because I just figure that that is what roommates do. Nothing more to really say on the subject.

The girl in the bedroom next to me is good friends with the girl in the third bedroom and they just talk and eat and watch TV and do whatever to their little heart’s desires.

Am I bitter about these circumstances? I was. For the first three weeks or so, I just couldn’t figure out why these girls were such bitches. It really irked me. I just figure that since we all live together that we should just find ways to makes things easier on all of us. Then I realized…not everyone thinks the same way that I do. And while it does suck, I realized that I really don’t even care.

I have fantastic friends that live outside of my apartment that I can chill with and cook for and eat with and just…enjoy. I’m totally not gonna let these girls ruin my semester.

I know, I know. Let’s just have a brief update with everything else so you all can see where I’m at. Mr. Socially Inexperienced, like I’ve said before, is history. I’m over it. The A**hole is pretty much the same, and like I said before, he only gives me the time of day when it’s convenient for him. So when he messaged me on Skype for the first time in literally weeks the other night I pretty much wrote him off (speaking of which, how do you delete Skype contacts on a Mac?). He’s not worth my time, at all.

So now we’re on to this guy. I actually met him at a club party one night. I danced with him, and I instantly knew he was a keeper when he said “I’m gonna have to annoy you” in this deep, amazing voice, oh my actual God. I don’t know how many of you (if any of you) live in North/South Carolina, but if so, you know that people from Charleston have an incredibly sexy accent. They really do. This guy is from Charleston.

Now before I get too ahead of myself, let me continue with the story. I was tipsy, among other things, so he asked me for my number and I naturally gave it to him and we went our separate ways. I really enjoyed that night, actually, and when we left, one of my guy friends (<- this guy I will have to talk about later, too, I’m guessing within the next week and a half, the way things are going) was hungry, so we went to Hardee’s (Carl’s Jr. for you west coasters) and while in that line, this guy called me and wanted to meet up back on campus for a minute. I agreed, but because we were in the Hardee’s drive thru for literally twenty minutes (my guy friend wanted to wait until breakfast hours started), we weren’t able to meet.

The next morning, I had classes. In the middle of my English class, my phone rang and it was him. I definitely left class so that I could talk to him. He told me that he wanted to get to know me, and proceed to tell me about himself. He’s 22, he goes to Coastal (the school is about 20 minutes from my house, and an hour drive from my campus) and is a business major, he has no kids, his younger brother goes to my school (cause I was wondering why he was at a party a good hour away, but he’s also a party promoter), he works, and a few other little things.

Also he has a fantastic voice…did I mention that? I told him that I was actually supposed to be in class, and he insisted that I go back and call back when everything was said and done, because he was on campus with his brother. After class I had called him and met him, and I ran into the only thing wrong with him out of everything right:

This guy is not attractive.

Okay, okay. I totally understand that looks are not everything. But I mean…you have to be at physically attracted to someone at least a little in order to really have something special, right? I mean, when I met him at the club not only was I under the influence, it was also pretty dark, so I mean it could have been anyone. I’m just saying that physically, there is seriously nothing there.

However, when I talk to him on the phone…it’s entirely different. He is such a sweetheart, and his personality is golden. Honestly. From what I’ve seen so far, he is probably everything that I would want in a guy. On the “How Much I Like A Guy” Meter, if it’s solely based on personality, this guy is like, somewhere between a 3 and 4. But his looks are a serious blow, you have no idea.

So where am I going with this? Um, well…I’m fighting with myself. I feel like if I talk to him and get to know him enough that the feelings will just come and it won’t matter. But a part of me wants physical attractiveness to be a part of any relationship that I have (and I’m sure that this has a lot to do with the high expectations I set for myself anyway). I just have a part of me that feels like, this guy could be a really, really, really great guy friend.

He could be my Vinny.

But his personality is so…beautiful. He’s a beautiful person. I don’t know if I want to sacrifice this amazing personality for the sake of a face. I think honestly that it may just be a little too early to tell. I mean, I saw him the night I met him and then I saw him again briefly the next morning. Maybe I have to take another look at him.

Also, I forgot the small detail that he seems to be into me, too. So I need to decide what I want to do and where I want to go before I get in too deep. Sigh.

Am I being shallow?

Really?

Like, is it really so wrong to want to be with a guy that I’m physically attracted to? I really would like a second opinion.

I’ve been slack, but from now on I will try my very hardest to be on top of this posting thing. Now, before I get into some details, I’m gonna update you just a tad bit on my life. Firstly, I had a birthday! I swear, it was seriously the absolute best birthday I’ve ever had. It wasn’t even about material things, because in all actuality, I didn’t even get material things. I spent the day with my mom, dad, brother, and grandmother, and we had Chinese food. I’ve started to appreciate and love my family so much more, and I’m glad to see another year.

Also, I’ve gotten back into the hang of school. It’s definitely more difficult and takes more commitment, but I’ve definitely gotten back into it. Have I also gone back into my procrastination hole? Absolutely. We’ll have to work on that….starting tomorrow. I’ve also gotten into being more social (a lot of this is thanks to Twitter, actually), and I’m definitely more involved and out there than I’ve ever been before.

I’m also suffering from the first cold that I’ve had in a very long time. I haven’t had one in so long that I forgot what it was like…but let me tell you: it is annoying. I’m tired of sniffling, blowing my nose, coughing, sleeping with my mouth open…the list literally goes on. Tonight marks the fifth night of this nonsense and I’m ready for it to go.

I actually have, like, I don’t even know what to call it…college drama? It’s really just silly, petty things, but it’s fun to have little things going on that you can dwell on to avoid thinking about more serious things. It’s nice. Haha.

Speaking of which, I’m…kind of talking to a guy now. I don’t want to elaborate right now too much, because I know that if I start I won’t be able to stop, so I’ll go into detail in a later post.

I have officially gotten back into Twitter. I cannot believe it. I told myself that I wouldn’t go back, and that it was lame, and blah, blah, blah…let me tell you: I’m all in now. This is the reason why my follower count dropped significantly…I un-synced my WordPress and Twitter to just avoid people I know creeping in on my musings. I’d rather keep Twitter-life, Facebook-life, and WordPress-life separate. But you can follow me whenever!

I have solidified some of the friendships that I had before, and loosened the leash some more on people that I feel are a little less relevant to my interests and desires and personality. It’s time for me to be my own person, and that means not relying on stronger personalities to keep me afloat. Did I mention that I really like this person that I’m becoming?

I do not like my roommates. I live with three other girls, and while one of them is hardly ever here, the other two know each other and they are constantly talking to each other, cooking for each other, and so on. Which leaves me left out and whatnot. Do I mind? Um, sometimes. Some days more than others. But I’ll go into more detail in a later post (right now I’m just touching on important things that I deal with every day).

I believe that that’s about it, that I recall. So now, I’ll start a series of posts relating to a lot of things that I touched on here, because quite frankly it’s just too much to go into one post. Enjoy, okay?

Oh Lord, all of you probably hate me. I’m tired, happy, refreshed, hungry, tired, positive, nervous, tired, anxious, and tired. It has been an extremely busy week and I feel like all I have been doing was running around getting things done. However, in a sense, I believe it’s all worth it in the end.

To say I’ve been on top of my game lately is an understatement. I’m in such a different state of mind than I was about a year ago and I’m so happy about it. Is it true that I’m tired most of the time and I tend to look for food and naps often? Yes. But it’s okay.

A few things have happened in the past week. I applied (and got accepted into) the school leadership program, wherein you attend multiple (three hour!) sessions and upon graduation become an ambassador for the university. My mom was hospitalized and had surgery.

I smoked multiple times. I drank multiple times. I took my first actual test of the semester and aced it. I studied for my first ever Spanish test (which takes place in literally 20 minutes). I’m officially “casually dating” my ex. My loan got processed for my MacBook and I should be getting it either Friday or next Monday.

I worked over the weekend (and got a pin for officially working for one year at the company). I also got $20 (which was supposed to be for my birthday but instead of having the luxury of buying things I want I have to buy things that I need). Today marks my first Leadership session so I probably won’t be home until about 8:45 tonight, which bums me out.

It’s been busy. And this week will be too. So I sincerely apologize for not keeping up with this blog the way that I intended to. My plan is that when my computer comes things will be easier because I don’t have to run to a library or a friend’s room every time I want to blog. However, in the meantime, I will be updating Twitter regularly (I cannot believe I’ve gotten back into that), and I hope you all have a fantastic week.

And for the things that I’m thankful for:

My ex, who will always be my friend first.

My mom, who I love dearly.

My MacBook, that I’ve been waiting for for years now.

Patience, that I’ve learned to acquire even when I don’t want to.

My brother, who, while annoying, does tend to make my day.

My dad, who never forgets his family.

My grandmother, who always makes sure that everyone is okay.

Great weather, cause when everything sucks, it seems to be the thing that keeps everyone going.

Today I’m thankful for the fantastic weekend that I had and the bedset that came into the mail today, because the two things I’ve been earnestly waiting on for the past two weeks (other than my MacBook) were a great, stress-free weekend and my bedset. 🙂

Babies are so cute! I see them all the time; at work, shopping, at the doctor’s office, on the beach…they are adorable! And everytime I see one I just get so excited because I’m like, “Aw, I’m gonna have like three or four babies when I start a family and they’re gonna be adorable and I’ll love them and they’ll love me and…meh, I wish I could just have one now to hold and to cuddle with!”

And for a brief moment, I feel like I’d be the perfect mom.

I’ll envision myself with a baby in a nursery, rocking it to sleep, and making him (or her) breakfast as a toddler, and going school shopping with them for kindergarden, and being at their Peewee soccer game, and taking them to their first professional sports game, all the way up until they move away for college (boy, am I imaginative). I just can’t wait to have a family of my own!