The home of the most discriminating beer drinkers on the planet. Come join us as we conduct weekly tastings and rate every beer in the world, using simple, childlike language, and a rating system that a friggin monkey could understand.

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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

No, we are not totally gay... just slightly gay! Watching a repeat of the chicks idol show and drinking some beers. So what's new. We ended up with a quorum, so we decided to rate a new beer. Big Mike brought the Red Hook Longhammer IPA (6.5%). This beer is deceptive. It smells very hoppy, but the taste is actually quite smooth. According to Johnny, if this were a Pale Ale, it would be RFG, but as a IPA, it's just a good. Johnny also thought that the Longhammer was not as long as his longhammer... total bullshit.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

In honor of the Olympics, Snake offered to host a Canadian night. Name some Canadian beers... can you name more than 5? There really aren't that many out there, and unfortunately, Unibroue makes more than anyone else. We started with the Unibroue Terrible (10.5%). This Quebec Dark Ale was better than some of the crap they pass off as beer. It was very carbonated, dark, yet not too heavy. It rated a good. Maybe Unibroue has redeemed itself. Moosehead Lager (5.0%), Canadas oldest brewery, was next. This one tasted like it was brewed a hundred years ago. How in the hell did they get that skunk smell into the bottle? So/so, and that was being generous. Labatts Blue Import (5.0%)was supposed to be one of Canada's best beers. It was a good clean pilsner, but those bastard Canadians cheated us by bottling only 11.5 oz, versus 12. We chased this beer with aUnibroue La Fin Du Monde (9%). I was surprised to find this beer to be pretty good. It had plenty of carbonation and sweetness. It rated a good. The next beer was another Unibroue that was more in keeping with what we've come to expect from this brewery. Don de dieu (9%) which means "tastes like shit" in french, had a cidery taste and rated a so/so. And to finish the evening, we ended in style with an Arrogant Bastard Ale (7.2%) from Stone Brewery. This is a strong ale with attitude, but we are worthy. This beer had good initial bite, but ended well. It rated a good. And so ended another BC4M.

ADDENDUM: I think we may have been too hard on Canada in the post above. We may need those weiners at some point, so I would like to make ammends by listing all the good thinks Canada has produced (besides beer, of which they have had very little success): Pam Anderson; the Canadian Women's Curling Team; Neve Campbell; Sarah McLachlan; Shania Twain. They've also produced some real douchebags... such as: Alex Trebek; Allan Thicke; Keifer Sutherland; Paul Schaffer; Morley Safer; Keanu Reeves; Jason Priestly; and Brian Adams.I guess it all balances out in the end

Saturday, February 13, 2010

In honor of Valentine's Day, Johnny and his Wife hosted a BC4M/WC4W (Wine Club for Women) joint party. The beers varied, with some very unique brews. We started the night with Winterfest Lager Double Bock (7.5%), from the Joseph Brau Brewing Co. This was a very smooth, sweet, double, and earned a good. That was followed by Bell's Consecrator Dopplebock (8%). This one had a very sweet, grape flavor, which was too much for our girly palates. It earned a so/so. Victory'sSt. Victorious Doppleback (8.5%) was a good follow-up. It was described as sweetly delicious, although I really doubt that there is a St. Victorious. Next came one of the best canned beers ever made, the Oscar Blues Mama's Little Yellow Pils (5.3%). Not a RFG, but a solid good. By now we'd had some real good beers, and no dogs. That was about to end. Unibroue provided us with that dog. The Trois Pistoles (9%) was aweful. As one member stated, "these fucks should be embarassed to charge money for this shit". Bells Two Hearted IPA (7.0%)had a very cool label, and the beer was pretty good too, earning a good. Next came a couple of Dogfish Head beers. Dogfish Head Red and White (10%) was a very nice beer. Dogfish does it again! Dogfish Head Black and Blue (10%) was another winner. It was a little too blueberry for 10pm, but the rest of the group gave it a good. Brew Dog Hardcore IPA (9%) was next. Thie beer had very little hop scent, but plenty of hop flavor. It was given a good. We ended the night with a Les Deux Brasseurs Belgian Ale (8.5%). There was no comments regarding this beer, but one can assume that it wasn't terrible, or you'd know it!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Johnny decided to go with island beers, or exotics that lie within reach of a tidal wave or other natural disaster. Unfortunately, these areas are not known for their beers, so this held out the promise to be a real punisher! First up was San Miguel(5.0%). This is a pretty boring, very light lager. It rated a so/so. Next up was Chang (5.0%), from Thailand. The comments speak for themselves: "Insignificant, benign, colored carbonated water"; "the Bud Light of Thailand"; and "This is not what Thailand is known for". It SUCKS. Carib Lager (4.8%), was next. It smelled bad, and is "best served with the bloated colon of a roadkill racoon". It also sucked. Kingfisher Premium Lager (4.8%) was next. I believe this swill is from India. It had a distinct lemon Pledge scent, and a taste to match. It sucked.Abita Turbo Dog (5.6%)was next. Cool name, brewed in Louisiana, home of Katrina. We had high hopes, but were disappointed. It had good color, but very little taste, rating a so/so. Sapporo Reserve (5.2%)was next. We've had other Sapporos in the past, and this one is typical. Pretty good, clean lager, and a perfect beer to cleanse the palates. It rated a good. Kona Firerock Pale Ale (5.8%)was next. It was hoppy, good color and taste, but this "Hawaian" beer is brewed in New Hampshire... WTF? It still managed to get a good. Famosa Lager (5.0%), from Guatemala advertises that they are "famous since 1886". Famous for what, no one knows. Peeling paint off cars, or possibly covering up the odors of decaying trash. This beer smelled like a sweaty Guatemalan migrant worker after a hot day in the rasberry fields. In fact, it was suggested that the brewery may have used that same worker's bathwater to brew this stuff. Kirin Ichiban (5.0%)was next. A crsip clean lager, would be great after a hot day working in the yard. This was a big night with lots of beers. Next up wasXingu (4.7%) from Brazil. This beer has a great dark color and great taste. It rated a good. Dogfish Head Sah Tea (9.0%) was next. This is some weird brew that the Dogfish Head folks decided to try, but was not well liked by the BC4M. The label rocked, with a picture of some Indian chick riding a big mule deer, something that one might see during a peyote hallucination, but the beer itself SUCKED. Tasted like medicine. 9 bucks down the crapper. Snake had to lick his own ass to get the taste of this shit out of his mouth. Fred described it as "ass in a glass". Lion Stout (9.0%), from Sri Lanka was next. For some reason there's a picture of some random white guy named Michael Jackson, the "Beer Hunter" on the back. That did not help this beer at all, and it rated a so/so. "33" Export (4.5%) from Vietnam (brewed in Ho Chi Min City) was next. It is a cereal beer, and tasted like a box of cereal. Cho Ngyuen gave it an RFG, but everyone else thought it was a so/so (and no, we don't really have a member named Cho Ngyuen). Plus, they stole the 33 from Rolling Rock. Then came another Hawaii beer via New Hampshire, Kona's Pipeline Porter (5.3%) (so/so), and we capped the night off with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (5.6%). It was very mediocre, and rated only a so/so. Another successful BC4M!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Fred volunteered to host, and the theme was going to be bock beers. Some of our favorite beers are bocks, so there was excitement in the air. We started off with the RFG of bocks, the Celebrator from Ayinger Brewery (6.7%). Not only does this beer taste great, it comes with a small plastic goat charm attached to every bottle. Some BC4M members have been known to wear these charms on their ears after consuming this great beer. The Celebrator was an RFG... a good start to the night. Next up was Leinenkugel's 1888 Bock (5.2%). This beer smelled as if they used the wastewater from the Franklin Paper Mill. It was not a good smell. The beer rated a so/so. Yuenglings Bock Beer (5.1%)was next. The label clearly states, "Tastes Good". However, this was somewhat false advertising. Yes, the taste was good, but it smelled like a goat shit in the bottle. Wear a clothes-pin on your nose when you drink this beer. Despite the smell, the group overall liked it, and gave it a good. Johnny then treated us to his growler of the newGordon Biersch beer, Helen Keller Bock (8.1%). This was a real nice beer, with the familiar Gordon Biersch taste. It rated a good. Aventinus Wheat Dopplebock (8.2%) was next. This beer had very little wheat taste, and it rated a good. Rogue Dead Guy Maibock (6.5%) was next, and it too rated a good. We were on a roll now, with more good ratings than ever before. The next beer was a Hofbrau Munchen Maibock (7.2%). It too was a fine beer and rated a good. According to the label, it was Munich's first Maibock brewed according to the German Purity Laws. Sam Adams has been reamed here before, but their Double Bock (9.5%) was next, and it earned the coveted RFG. I take back all those rude comments that I have previously made about Sammy. But alas, not all beers can be good, thus proven by the folks who make Shiner. Shiner Bock (4.4%) is a Texas tradition. The label states that it has 100 yrs of brewing history. 100 wasted years according to the group, as this just was not a very good beer, rating a so/so. Gordon Biersch Maibock (7.3%), one of their standards, was next, rating a good. And like that, we were out of bocks and had to break out leftovers. First up was Weyerbacher Quad Ale (11.8%). This is an abbey-style ale, and a good one at that. The group gave it a good. And last was a malt liquor. And no, this wasn't Steel Reserve or Colt (although they both have a place in beer drinking circles), it was a Austrian number called Samiclaus Helles Malt Liquor (14%). This beer is brewed only one day per year... Dec 6th. It is not a day that will live in infamy, and I would suggest that these folks do something else on that day. The beer rated only a so/so. It was really sweet and syrupy. And like any good beer night, when the malt liquor comes out, the party's over!