Green beer. Everyone makes fun of me for having my ritual St. Patrick's Day toast with a glass of chromatologically-enhanced beer. And of course, it is a silly and cheesy practice, but that's why I like it. Beer just seems to taste good when it's green and the day is the 17th of March. Naturally, I'm listening to the Pogues’ If I Should Fall from Grace with God (their best album, and don't even try to tell me otherwise) as I write (and drink). Green beer also tastes better when consumed with a shot of Jameson before noon on St. Patrick's Day.

1. Night SchoolIf your shaker is looking a little rusty, it might be time to enroll in Bourbon & Branch’s Beverage Academy, their series of 2-hour evening classes covering attention-holding topics as “Gin: from bathtubs and back alleys to the upper class,” “Tequila: the spirit of Mexico,” and “Whiskey Confidential.” Sign up for their upcoming classes on March 24th and 25th, held in the B&B library.

In the name of research for an upcoming story, I was “experiencing” a mid-work-day lunch last week at Bar Bambino and in order to make it back to my desk without falling asleep, I had to finish off with an upper in order to ward off the carb + red wine–induced coma that was coming on strong.

I have to write a brief report on the craziness that was La Paulée, the big Burgundy party in which everyone brings a great bottle (or ten) to share. There was so much great wine at this year's dinner, held on March 1, that had it not been so delicious, it would have been sickening. It was all collected in a back room at the Westin St. Francis, where the army of sommeliers (somewhere around 60 of them, from all over the country) would fetch it and pour it for the guests who brought it.

Yup, it’s that time of year again, where normal people don leprechaun outfits, drink ridiculous amounts of green beer and claim to be at least 1/18th Irish. If you’re so inclined, feel free to cram yourself into a local pub where, come midnight, some jerk will start belting out “Danny Boy.” But should you be looking for a slightly more, uh, refined way to celebrate the Emerald Isle, check out the following.

Mortgage interest rates might be down, but you’ve got to keep your priorities straight. A couple days ago, I found myself out on Noriega and 22nd, signing my life away—the final stage in the San Francisco re-fi shuffle. I realize that this was serious business involving money. A grown-up activity of the highest sort, one that should require one’s full attention and a pair of bi-focals. And I swear I tried to read (some) of the blur words in front of me. But if I’m to be honest, as my hand ached from signature after signature, all I could think about were dumplings. And how if Ann, the sweet senior escrow officer, didn’t hurry things up, the shop where I wanted to get them from was going to close.

1. Who's on Top?The season premiere of Top Chef airs tonight at 10 p.m. on Bravo, and this season has four local contenders. So pull up a chair, order some take-out and get ready to play favorites. Wonder who we think won? Click here for our completely uninformed spoiler.courtesy of Stefanie Michejda

Watch this video, and then tell me that you would ever would ever put that drink in your mouth. There's so much that's wrong with the way he makes this drink, it's scary, but we'll just mention some of the highlights:Try not to pick your nose while chilling your cocktail glass. Try not to use only one ounce of rum in a cocktail--at least give 'em an ounce and a half.Try not to completely botch the measuring of your ingredients. Try not to pick your nose again.Try not to use prefab sweet-and-sour mix.

You don’t just have to look up at the Ferry Building clock tower to know that the city has officially sprung forward: Flashes of bare leg and pink petals are everywhere. While foodies roaming the Marketplace can almost taste the apricots and artichokes on their tongue, across the street at Americano, a literal crush of single professionals huddled around space heaters are fixated on some good ole’ sexual tension paired with a Melograno Cosmo, which is acquired after waiting diligently in line—a very, very long one.