Here it is! The not so long, but still long awaited part two & conclusion to the harrowing novel The Human Santapede!.” I hope you enjoy finishing off this particularly silly bit of reading. I must admit that although a lot of the book was really dumb & trite, by the end I found myself not hating it as much I had been originally. Part of that may have been relief that I knew it was coming to and end but whatever. Thanks for listening! Be sure to subscribe & rate on whatever pod-source you use!

Hey there! I was just thinking about you! Oh, I was just thinking that you should come over, have a couple of drinks and then, I don’t know, take off your clothes and wrestle me to see who gives who a blowjob. You know, just normal guy stuff. Where’d I learn about this? Oh, MeetFighters.com of course! It’s a great place to go and talk about how horny fighting makes you. I mean me. But maybe you? No? Okay… Well… thanks for dropping off my mail.

Someone, somewhere totally got a boner about this image.

So… I will admit to having been a boxing fan at some point in my life. However, I have to clarify that not once during my watching dudes beat the shit out of each other for money did I ever get an erection. Well, the same can’t be said for many of the men found on Meet Fighters. These men love fighting and being naked and maybe even… just maybe… forcing the loser of their own fights to perform sexual acts. Sound like something you’d like to do? Well then by all means go ahead and check out the site. Not your bag? Well then enjoy listening to the odd topics discussed in this episode of Lou Reads!

Happy holidays! It’s taken forever but just two days ago I did a stream of myself reading from The Human Santapede on Twitch. I made it all the way to chapter 16 before I tapped out. So please enjoy this stupid reading I did! I just finished recording the second half of the book tonight so look for that in 2018!

Just a warning, this is very long! It’s very stupid but I enjoyed reading it over the two days. You can watch the live reading here if you want to watch it with all my fuck ups & asides.

Hey everyone, sorry this episode took so long. I’ve been too busy plugging all these Chinese research chems day & night to record. And while I am high as a kite these drugs appear to have removed my ability to read & write (I’m dictating this and hoping it’s carrot cake, rivets!). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode from the Trip Report forum of BlueLight.org

For those of you in the USA, I hope that this Thanksgiving you make some well thought out decisions regarding your drug use around your family. Maybe try 4 less hits of acid before you sit down for dinner. Or maybe consider holding off on chasing the dragon before you go pick up grandma at the senior center. You know, just for the holidays…

This is a limited time run for these shirts and if we don’t make the minimum order then no one gets charged & no shirts get made. The shirts will be delivered in time for the 2017 holiday season so don’t delay!

Oh boy, did I see someone with a case today! She was walking down the street and I could see her hiccuping and grabbing at her throat. It was so hot! Then I realized she was actually choking on some food that went down the wrong pipe. That was kind of disappointing so I just think about the part where I didn’t know she was struggling to breath to get turned on. Pretty hot, right!?

So hot until I realized she was actually choking to death.

So, this months episode is a trip to the pages of Hiccup Forum. As you might have guessed this is forum is exclusively for people who are turned or somehow activated when they see or hear hiccups. There are obvious parallels to the folks from the Sneeze Fetish Forum due to the specific nature of their interest in highly specific body spasms. However, there doesn’t seem to be any crossover. Please enjoy this exploration of the world of folks who get their jollies when a spasm contracts the diaphragm, a large sheet of muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity, causing an intake of breath that is suddenly stopped by the closure of the vocal cords (glottis). HOT!

I know this is weird but when I come across weird websites on the internet I have this compulsion to share them with strangers in podcast form… Is it normal to do that? No? Oh well…

No funny caption. Just be yourself as long as you aren’t hurting other people you moron.

This month’s episode is all about asking the Internet to validate your weird behavior. Do you have a thing you do but you’re not sure if anyone else does it? Well go to isitnormal.com. The helpful people there will help guide you to the realization that you are a weirdo in no time.

So… I just wanted you to know that when we broke up I kind of went a little crazy. I was pretty upset and I decided that since we’re soulmates and fated to be together I would speed up our eventual reconciliation by paying real money for a love spell to bring you back to me. I also paid for spell to make your new relationships not work. See, by making sure you couldn’t find happiness with another person it totally made you come back to me in a completely natural way!

So this month’s episode is a reading from the forums of Ashra.net. I was surprised to find that a single spell-caster had her own fairly active forum dedicated almost 100% to discussion about her and how great she is. I was also surprised to discover how many folks out there are willing to spend money on love spells. It’s been a while since I visited the forums of Lucky Mojo and had kind of forgotten about this world of sad people who believe in spells affecting their romantic targets. I mean… they don’t really work… right? Anyway, get ready to hear a lot of praise for this lady! Enjoy.

Fetlife, short for “Fetish Life” (I’m assuming), is an online forum for kinksters of all varieties. If you’re vanilla (aka a normal sex person) then you probably don’t want to go there. However, if you’re into something… unusual… or just plain fucked up sexual weirdness, this is place for you! While I enjoy reading from […]

So, here we are once again. Why do I keep coming back to the world of Men’s Rights & Pick Up Artists? Is it because their worldview, which they seem to insist is right by sheer will, is so incredibly negative and yet self-assured that it boggles the mind. I’m sure these guys would see […]