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Wealth Spread – Low Effort, High Taxes

“Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn’t it?” the plumber asked, complaining that he was being taxed “more and more for fulfilling the American dream.”

“It’s not that I want to punish your success,” Obama responded. “I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they’ve got a chance for success too … I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”

“So instead of cutting taxes with a kitchen knife we’ll butter it up with wealth and spread it around like we earned it,” the Democratic candidate continued. “It’s a patented foreign blend that is guaranteed to help improve my standing in the polls, but it’s made with 100% pure American taxpayer sweat, which once again shows how taxes can be patriotic.”

“What’s not to vote for?” Obama finished as he was cheered on by a group of supporters wearing blue pins with the Obama logo and the words “Journalists for Obama.”