“I don’t see an embryo,” said the ultrasound tech. I felt the pressure as she moved the wand around. Since I’d begun bleeding that morning, I was expecting to see a blip of life on the screen without a heartbeat, as I had ten years ago when I miscarried, but the screen was nothing but black. “I’m sorry,” she said. “There’s nothing there.”
“I don’t understand,” I replied.
I was surprised I ... View Post

A couple days ago I announced to my Facebook friends that our family is anticipating a precious baby. I’m only six weeks along with this pregnancy and, by announcing, I’ve broken the unwritten rule that we don’t go public until we’re safely into the second trimester. Only two days before our announcement, I’d planned on waiting too. Because I’m all about protocol. I’m a rule follower. And because ... View Post

How can you and your spouse survive the grief and loss of a pregnancy as a couple? Here is what I learned.
I lost my first baby only hours after I’d first heard the thump-thump of his heart during an ultrasound. Just six weeks along, our baby was all heart and yolk sac. When my body expelled that blip of baby I was alone. I remember the confusion of the pain, the cramping I thought was a ... View Post

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There have been many days in the last year that I’ve felt wholly unworthy of a ministry. Whether I was scared, confused, offended, hurt, bewildered, or just plain broken, I questioned my value to God’s kingdom. Why have you chosen me for anything, God?More than once I’ve been just a girl, standing in front of…

I fly a lot. I’ve slowly graduated from white-knuckle-gripping the armrests and praying in hushed, panicked gasps for Jesus to keep my airplane in the air to feeling like a jet-setter, brisk-walking through the airport with my savvy traveler know-how in my comfy Sketchers and leggings. No matter how many times I fly, though, I…

Let me tell you about the morning I learned how God can reveal wisdom and truth even through the moments that make us want to spit out our coffee. I was curled into my oversized family room couch with my Bible open and milk swirled into my steaming coffee beside me. I was in…