Saturday, August 18, 2012

Romney & Ryan Use Steve Martin's "I Forgot" and "Excuuuuse Me!"

Comedian Steve Martin did a comedy skit on Saturday Night Live back in the 1970s that seems to be prophetic about the way both Mitt Romney and his running mate, Paul Ryan, deal with problems. First they say "I Forgot" then they say "Excuuuuse Me!"

You.. can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You say.. "Steve.. how can I be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes?" First.. get a million dollars. Now.. you say, "Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, 'You.. have never paid taxes'?"

Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!" How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don't say "I forgot"? Let's say you're on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, "I forgot armed robbery was illegal."

Let's suppose he says back to you, "You have committed a foul crime. you have stolen hundreds and thousands of dollars from people at random, and you say, 'I forgot'?"

Two simple words: Excuuuuuse me!!"

"Excuuuse ME!" is the seventies version of Mitt Romney's "retroactively" apologizing or scrubbing records.

For instance, Mitt Romney probably hasn't paid much - if anything - towards income taxes for the past ten years. First he said he paid "plenty of taxes," but didn't indicate what kind of taxes he meant. Then last week he said this via AtlanticWire:

I did go back and look at my taxes and over the last 10 year I never paid less than 13 percent. I think the most recent year is 13.6 percent or something like that. I paid taxes every single year. Harry Reid's charge is totally false. I'm sure waiting for Harry to put up who it was that told him what he says they told him. I don't believe it for a minute by the way. Every year I've paid at least 13 percent, and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why, the number gets well above 20 percent.

But some are asking, 13% of what? Just his net worth, or his total portfolio? How much is sheltered overseas? We will probably never know.

Instead of risking being caught in another lie, he is simply not releasing his tax returns. When Harry Reid and the Dems call him out on it, he says "Excuuuuse Me, I have done the legally required minimum." His wife Ann vows "there will be no more returns for you," and figuratively "off with their heads if they ask" in every interview. "You People just don't deserve to know. Trust us, we're rich."

It's a classic Steve Martin defense. "Excuuuuuse Me!"

When Mitt was running for Governor of Massachusetts, he insisted that he had legally declared that state as his home on his income taxes instead of Utah where he actually resided. He needed to be a legal resident of Massachusetts in order to be the Governor - that makes sense, right? At one point, he listed his residence as the unfinished basement of his son Tagg. It was only when Romney got caught that he said "Excuuuse Me" and "retroactively" refiled his taxes with a Massachusetts address that he could run for governor. Whoops - I just forgot!

Romney was questioned about documents and letters he signed as CEO of Bain Capital when he was supposedly no longer involved in that company, having technically "quit" to work on the Utah Olympics, even though he was listed as CEO and Top Shareholder. Back in July, his top advisor Ed Gillespie explained to Candy Crowley of CNN that he had "Resigned Retroactively." As Politicus snarks:

. . . Oh, and of course, he gets to tell you whatever he wants and you have to believe. Just trust. You wouldn’t understand. He’s a businessman (aka, divine, untouchable God).
Also, he can claim he was in Massachusetts to conduct business for Bain and therefore eligible to run for Governor, but years later he can say he had retired retroactively and just forgot to get around to filing stuff.
So, hey, Americans! Those tax returns you have to be so careful on, heck, you can just forget to file that you left that company you’re making all of that profit from — and you can forget to tell the SEC . . .

As Steve would say "I forgot!" That should be enough for anyone, right?

And now his sidekick and veep pick Paul Ryan is using the same defense. As a Congressman he spoke out against Obama's stimulus package for the states, and told a radio caller that he never requested funds, only then the AP found a bunch of letters signed by Ryan requesting jobs from the Department of Energy for his district in Wisconsin.

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.
Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.
“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.
“The Olympics may be over but Paul Ryan could have gotten a gold medal in hypocrisy,” a senior administration official told ABC’s Jake Tapper. “As someone who spends all day every day railing against government spending, but then secretly seeks millions in funds for pet projects, he is as Washington as it gets.”