After 16 months of anguish and anger, you'd think it would bring nothing but joy to see those four bow their heads in shame, to hear them admit responsibility for their crime.

But something was missing. Something will always be missing.

At the last possible moment before their trial this week in Montgomery, those four young men -- they are kids, really, for Walker is 16 and the others 18 -- pleaded guilty to the September 2008 mugging and murder of Brenda Sherard.

Brenda was the wife of Johnny Sherard, the father of my own wife.

Brenda was not just a woman randomly beaten in the driveway of some Montgomery home. Brenda was family.

Brenda and Johnny Sherard

So I sat in court this week, as I have dozens of times as an observer. I sat with my wife and my father-in-law, with Brenda's brother and sisters, and I tried to detach, as I always do.

I couldn't do it. I guess I knew too much.

I knew how Johnny had dreaded a full-blown trial because he did not wish to take the stand and identify his wife from a photo on the coroner's slab. He wanted -- desperately -- to remember her with the life and breath that made her her.

And I knew Brenda. I knew how she liked children and loved old people almost as much as she loved George Strait. I knew she bought my daughter her first party dress, and how her head, in almost all her enduring photographs, is tossed back in laughter.

She loved life and Alabama football, and she missed this championship season. As we miss her.

I guess it was something that Turner, who held the gun on Johnny, apologized to the family Monday. So did Walker, who held Brenda by the hair and beat her in the face with his fist. He came face to face with Johnny and asked forgiveness.

"I can't forgive you right now," Johnny said. "I pray to the Lord every night to let me forgive you. So far, I just can't."

Walker turned to leave, and Johnny collapsed into a chair.

Because the ache just goes on.

Watching those young men admit their guilt brought no joy. Walker will likely get 30 years in prison for his part in the crime. Turner faces 25, and the other two 20. The agreements are fair, I suppose. Justice was done.

You'd think it would be satisfying. It is not.

For Brenda is gone, and the family still grieves. The young men will go to prison and their families grieve, too.

If statistics are any indication, at least two of them will commit another violent crime upon release. If statistics are indication, their lives as potentially productive members of society are all but over.

There is no joy here. And that is the end of the story in this, as in so many crimes of violence. There is no peace. There is no end. There is no closure.