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Saturday, July 21, 2012

When You Know You Know

I am a nervous person in general. I'm not going to lie. I hate being in front of people and being the center of attention, it's just not in my personality. So from the moment Mark put an engagement ring on my finger, I constantly worried about being half of the center attention on our wedding day. The thought of walking down the aisle and having 150 sets of eyes on me instantly sent me into a panic attack.

So as the 189 days of wedding planning flew by, my anxiety about the wedding day grew. Before I knew it, the week of the wedding was here and we were making final touches and picking up last minute things. I continued to be anxious about the day of the wedding, dreading the attention and the idea of having the focus (at least partially) on me.

When I woke up the day of our wedding, I expected to be a hot mess. Seven months of planning, strategizing, flower picking, envelope licking, crying and waking up in cold sweats would be over in 15 hours. Thinking about my wedding day, I always thought I would be a nervous wreck. However, I woke up feeling incredibly calm. I got out of bed and showered, just like every other day. I figured once I saw all of my bridesmaids at the bridal brunch that morning, the nerves would kick in and I would realize that this was, in fact, my wedding day and the panic attacks could ensue.

As I arrived at Bonnie Ruth's for the brunch and my bridesmaids trickled in, I stayed calm. It was more fun just to spend time with my best friends and family, the stress of the wedding was the last thing on my mind. Besides, in the back of my mind, I figured the nerves would be arriving soon enough. After the brunch, my bridesmaids and I went to get our hair done at the Dry Bar in Plano. This was when things got real and I figured I would start to freak out. But as I checked us all in at the front desk, the woman asked me who was getting married today, and when I told her I was she responded with, "Wow. I'm sorry, but you are abnormally calm. I had no idea."

Long story short, I kept calm the entire day. Yes, I know a factor in that was my incredible friends and family being there for me the whole day. However, I believe the main reason I was so at peace the day of my wedding is because I really just couldn't wait to walk down that aisle and marry my best friend. I had hyped up my wedding to be this scary, stressful day when really it was only the first day of the rest of my life with the most amazing man I know. Even as I stood outside the chapel doors with my mom, waiting to walk down that aisle with all 150 sets of eyes on me, I took a deep breath and kept in mind that I was lucky to be the girl walking down the aisle to marry Mark. I think there is such a peaceful feeling when you are so sure you are marrying the person you are meant to be with. I can't imagine not being so sure. I am so thankful that my wedding day was one full of excitement and not nervousness.