With this whole process comes a lot of thoughts, with a lot of thoughts the need for an outlet arises...thus the blog.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

She is magic...

This little connection dance we do is an interesting one. In the beginning I was terrified we wouldn't connect at all, I was afraid there would be a constant disconnect. I was anxious that I would constantly feel like I was just babysitting her all the time and would never know the magic that exists between a mother and daughter. It's magic all right...pure, innocent, constant. Her knowledge of what I am to her is growing ever day. It's hard in the beginning and still a little right now because she need(ed)s me in different ways. Food. Sleep. Care. Very simple of course but rewarded with some smiles. Now as she's getting older and her needs are a little more complex my rewards are much greater! She kicks her legs, smiles like crazy and even squeals when I look at her or walk into the room. She cranes her neck to find me in a room when she hears my voice, and sometimes...well most times I'm the only one that can soothe her (tyler of course is included in that).

She is magic. Pure magic. There are times where I seriously can't believe we lived without her.