Pain

“Why not? Why do you think we have a P.T. period? You cannot simply sit through it,” he said, and then blew his whistle to call the captains of both the teams.
“Guys, take Kumar on one of your teams,” he said to both the captains.
“Oh! He is a Pottai * sir. I don’t want him in my team,” One of them said.
“Yes sir! He is such a Ombodhu *. He can’t play,” said the other one.
“…….”

[*Editor’s Note : This piece of original writing is accompanied by its translation. We’d love to hear what you thought about it. If you think you can offer another translation, of some words, or even of the whole piece, mail us via Contact Form. We’re open to suggestions, corrections, additions, deletions – as long as they’re an improvement over what we have. Remember the context is all decisive, so while you may not agree with some, or may find yourself offended, it’s a piece that was written within the writer’s context – and we can’t tell authors what to write. What we can do, is read and critique.]

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About the author

About the book author

Shridhar Sadasivan

Shridhar Sadasivan was born and raised in Tamil Nadu and now lives in the United States. He is a member of the Chennai based LGBT group MovenPick and a member of the executive team of Orinam.net, a bilingual LGBT resource website. Shridhar aims to break into the conservative Tamil media with his short stories and introduce LGBT characters to the readers. He hopes to create awareness on LGBT issues and struggles through his writings.

About the translator

R. Niruj Mohan & Srini Swaminathan

R. Niruj Mohan

Srini Swaminathan, yet another Engineer from BITS Pilani. Worked in a yet-another-job in the Oilfield for 8 years before giving it up to become a not-yet-another Teacher in a Municipal Primary School in Dharavi as a fellow with TeachForIndia. Is also a long distance runner and cyclist. Loves torturing cameras to capture the truth. Loves torturing technology to take these frozen truths to people. My Facebook profile & Twitter profile.

This may be fiction, but it is also the reality that millions of gender-queer kids have faced, generation after generation, the world over. The Tamil abuses have a sting that is physically painful, even when merely read. Thanks to the translators for capturing that sting faithfully in the English version.

Big hugs to the author. The very fact that he has been able to put this story into words means he is well on the way to putting the pain behind him and moving forward.

Agreed with Ram. Kids duno most of the time why they are being told to behave the way. Someone demanded an answer from me once as what I thought of myself – a guy…in the school. Ladki ho ladkiyon ki tareh raho. She said that. And I wondered what I have done.
I didnt even attend the farewell party of my High school, as the dress code was ofcourse a girly stuff. After that, I could never attend any such parties where dress codes are imposed.
Sometimes I just hate everything.

Shri – This is a very touching and painful story. I am glad you share your writing that reflects the personal experiences of many, with us. It also gives others the opportunity to rethink what is right, wrong and can be swept aside. Thank you!

Niruj & Srini – This is a beautiful translation that captures the essence of this story – Pain. Without diluting any of the poignancy that this work evokes. Appreciate it, guys!

Yes! And it hurts when calls for help fall on deaf years! Parents, siblings and teachers (in India) think this is all part of school life/growing up. Being bullied and ridiculed affects kids in many levels 🙁

@Shri this is beautiful. the pain of a difficult childhood for no fault of one’s own… thank you for sharing this with us. to me, your story seems like a translation of muted voices.
Just thinking that it would be so awesome if you could share the experience of being translated, from an indian language with its own politics of possibilities into English. Some insight into it in the form of a guest post, may be ?! 🙂

am new to the community and just stumbled upon this. Its beautiful. Brought back some painful memories from my own childhood. Unfortunately the story doesn’t end with childhood. The bullying and harassment continues well into adulthood often from people closest to you. I guess by sharing we give all hope that we are not alone in this struggle…

@Godsownson : Very true! Sharing our stories helps us realize that we are not alone. And yes the bullying and harassment continues even in our adulthood, but I hope we would be able to stand up for ourselves.

[…] bullied and harassed constantly. Some of you might have read my semi-fiction, semi-reality piece “Pain” about bullying. I dreaded P.T (gym) classes! I was so scared of most of the boys in my class, I […]

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