Landrieu Victory Speech Leaks Before Saturday Run-Off

(2014-12-4) — With just days to go before Saturday’s run-off election in the race for Senator in Louisiana, a draft of Democrat Sen. Mary Landrieu’s purported victory speech has leaked.

The speech, handwritten on yellow legal paper, leaked to a reporter from a waste can in Landrieu’s Washington D.C. office, where the Senator had apparently placed it for safekeeping.

On the document, titled “Victory Speech,” Landrieu offers the customary gratitude to her family, friends and supporters, and to the Democratic National Committee and President Obama “who were instrumental in bringing about this incredible, unbelievable, virtually-impossible outcome.”

“If it weren’t for the money and ground troops that poured in from the DNC, I’d be making a humiliating concession call tonight, handing over the last Democratic Senate seat in the deep South to a Republican,” Landrieu plans to say.

“And if it weren’t for the wisdom and skill President Obama has used to turn this economy around, to unite our country around traditional American values, and to restore America’s reputation in the world — well, then by Monday I’d be scrounging for work as a lobbyist in the Louisiana State House, or begging relatives to get me a job as a roustabout on an oil rig, just to make ends meet.”

“It’s humbling how much the president and the DNC care about me, about the people of Louisiana, and specifically about female political candidates,” she’s slated to say. “They could have turned off the spigot and walked away after I won only a narrow plurality in November, cutting their losses while they licked their wounds from the Republican thrashing we got in so many other states.”

“But that’s not who we are as Democrats,” she’ll say. “We believe in our principles too much to make decisions for craven political purposes. I stand here before you tonight proud to say, ‘I’m Senator Mary Landrieu. I’m a woman, and I’m a Democrat!”