1.31.2011

BTW if you like studenty, British music Palace, the debut album from Chapel Club, was released in the U.K. today. You should get it by whatever means you use to obtain your music these days. They've also got a handful of U.S. dates coming up in March so cop some tickets as well. And just to complete the trifecta download Ewan Pearson's glitchy, techy remix of "Surfacing" for the ride home tonight. Don't say I never gave you anything.

Can you imagine how many American heads would explode if the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers trotted out onto the field at JerryWorld on Sunday rocking these soccer-inspired kits? Shedloads, that's how many; you'd be picking bits of brain out of your blue cheese dip for days (and yet you would probably still eat your hot wings).

But somebody out there --probably a foreigner or fellow fan of this "communist sport"-- possessing an eye for design, baller-assed Photoshop skills and a desire to see futbol/football miscegenation come to life created a slew of these fake kits and they are f*cking awesome. Seriously, these are better than many soccer jerseys and every NFL jersey out there today. If anyone knows who did these holler at me; they deserve all credit due.

I'll tell you this as well: if Baby Bradley plays for Villa as well as he's played Heerenveen and Borussia MonchenGladWrap I guarantee you he will not be there long before his loan goes permanent or he gets snatched up by one of the EPL's glamor clubs. If he doesn't I'll eat one of Kyle Beckerman's sweaty, post-practice dreads.

1.27.2011

Now that the off-season is over can the pre-season please be over too? I. Am. Bored. I'm at that point in the calendar year where there is nothing worth blogging about because there is nothing going on with the teams except beep-tests and 8v8 games. Ugh.

Can we please get a juicy transfer or a paternity scandal sometime soon because I am dangerously close to blogging just to say I did...and at that point I need to just stop.

Cobi Jones & Kevin Hartman are bar-tending at Cobi's restaurant in Santa Barbara, CA tonight. What are the odds of some local blogger sitting at the bar and unwittingly pumping Jones for information on the Cosmos while the two for Galaxy players reenact scenes from Cocktail behind the bar? Probably low but it's worth a shot; somebody at UCSB Gauchos Blog, please make this happen.

So Philly's being all coy & whatnot by stonewalling on the identity of five trialists they have in camp right now. But a pair of them have been IDed by some local soccer sleuths and one of them is none other than American soccer's prodigal son/FC Delco product Jeremiah White. Surprising, but a good get if Philly can keep him.

And that's the interesting part to me; White was drafted by, but never played for, New England so they may still hold his rights. If that's the case, what do you think he's worth in the MLS market? Draft picks? Allocation money? Tradebait? U2 tickets?

1.24.2011

Henrooney has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Much better than Brangelina or TomKat. Either way I don't think these two will be on the cover of US Weekly nearly as many times as the other conjoined-namers but I'm far more interested in seeing their upcoming work than I am in seeing another Tomb Raider or Mission: Impossible flick. Oh and so is The Daily Mail.

1.23.2011

It took less than 12 hours for the hilarious call on Teal Bunbury's PK goal against Chile to hit the web in remixed form, proving that the phrase "the streets can't wait" applies to footy-freaks as well as hip hop heads.

I think every U.S. Soccer fan under the age of 45 should make this their ringtone for the week because it's stupidly fantastic. If you own an automobile with an outsized soundsystem bump this sh*t 'til the trunk rattles off it's hinges. If you own two turntables and a Serato setup drop this jawn at approximately 11:45 pm every Saturday night from now until the Egypt game. And if you are Teal Bunbury you now have a personal theme song; rock this like you wrote it, son.

1.21.2011

Edson Buddle scored in his German debut today. You probably read about it on Twitter but in case you didn't see it, here it is. And as an aside the Duisburg keeper he scored on was American David Yeldell; kinda cool, kinda not cool if you know what I mean. It's like the American-abroad equivalent of black-on-black crime (we're heading for self-destruction y'all).

If you were in New York City during the summer of 2004 you remember it as the moment Reggaeton ate Manhattan. It was all Daddy Yankee & Tego Calderón, all the time. And I mean all the time. Sh*t was as omnipresent as bodega's, tourists, yellow cabs and James Iha south of 14th St. But then, mercifully, it went away.

Apparently it's "back" on the footie mixtape scene though but since it's coupled with all manner of on-pitch nastiness it seems tolerable for the non-initiated. But for only about 3 minutes; anything more than that and your head will f*cking explode.

1.20.2011

Joseph Ngwenya is now D.C. United property but reports out of Africa say he's still in his native Zimbabwe and training with a local club called...Chicken Inn. Suddenly Thailand Tobacco Monopoly doesn't seem that bad.

The Rapids' Kosuke Kimura is big in Japan. Which is kinda fitting since is from there and all. I have no idea what they're saying about him because I am an ignorant, English-only American but I did hear the word "Beckham" in there towards the beginning. So I'm going to assume they were talking about Colorado trading Kimura to LA for Becks because that's the only logical reason his name would be brought up*.

A day in the life of FC Dallas' Brek Shea & his former club teammate Dax McCarty is about so much more than standout hair color and driving around town bumping Lil Wayne & Massive Attack. It's also about applying liberal amounts of sunblock to Dax's freckled self, playing XBOX with your roommate, eating PB& J sandwiches, making anyone in the car other than yourself pay for the petrol and occasionally playing soccer.

I have no idea where this came from but if you can get past the first 1.5mins it’s kinda fantastic: 25+ minutes of outtakes and unfiltered footage from the 2007 SuperDraft, the first MLS draft to ever be televised.

It’s as long as Marco Ethceverry’s Jheri Curl mullet but kinda funny. It has talk of Beckham’s arrival (which was announced the day before), Alan Hopkins playing hype man to the Chicago & Columbus supporters in the house, Mo Edu rapping and Rob Stone cussin'. Oh and Wynalda taking phone calls about land deals. Good times.

1.18.2011

There's just so much to talk about in this clip. Everything from Savage taking a swipe at Robbie Mustoe, Craig Forrest, Warren Barton and assorted ESPN analysts to the liberal use of the expression "no disrespect" while in fact being disrespectful to some frank talk on his offer from Vancouver.

Robbie Savage is a good player but a better personality and this clip kind of shows why. If he did decide to come to MLS he'd be such a media darling. He'd also be the most vainglorious thing to touch an MLS pitch since the days of Eddie Johnson referring to himself in the third person.

But be worried Vancouver fans (and trainers): if this is his idea of pre-game meal, yikes.

I'm just going to put this out there. There is a good chance that if you live in an MLS market the weather outside is frightful. Here in New York it's as if God spilled his clear, lemon-lime Slushie all over the city. It's disgusting and it makes you question why anyone lives anywhere in this country other than Southern California and South Beach.

And after watching this random training video from the current USMNT camp in Carson, I don't know why anyone would want to play soccer anywhere else. I can't imagine how bummed out dudes feel when they hear that they've been traded from LA or Chivas to Toronto or Chicago; that's not a knock on the organizations, the cities or the fans...it's just that the weather at the beginning and end of the season has the potential to be worse than that new Ashton Kutcher film*.

Perhaps this is why seemingly everyone in American soccer has lived in Manhattan Beach, CA at one point. Off the top of my head I know that Landon Donovan, Cobi Jones, Mia Hamm, Bob Bradley, Alexi Lalas and Sigi Schmid all have places there right now. Seriously, it's the Melrose Place of American soccer. Why? Because it never rains and I don't have to own a heavy coat.

I'm sorry for this completely unnecessary ramble but your boy is grumpy today. So in closing, screw winter.

*It doesn't matter when you read this post, the new Ashton Kutcher film is always terrible.

1.15.2011

Number one SuperDraft pick Omar Salgado arrived home in El Paso, TX yesterday with a handful of family and reporter-types on hand to greet him at the airport and he reveals that even he was shocked that he went that high in the draft. And here I just thought it was us, the chattering classes of the soccersphere.

He also says that his goal is to play for Real Madrid and that he may go on loan before he plays for the Whitecaps. Where would he go on loan in the U.S.? The USL? The NASL? If he doesn't get his waiver this could get real interesting.

According to this Dateline-esque video Luke Rodgers is coming to New York. No word from RBNY yet but you can bet Sky will be disappointed for breaking out such a romantic fireplace on the first date if there isn't a real possibility of Rodgers gettin' it in.

1.06.2011

Heading to Ft. Lauderdale in the a.m. (aka Spring Break for MLS coaches) and this will be ON BLAST in the rental car all weekend. Ususally I'm not one for Adele's warbling but this remix has a "See Line Woman"-vibe about it that helps it rise above her usual Amy Winehouse-meets-Kate Nash routine. Further proof that Jamie XX is one of the premier turd-polishers remixing today.

Clint Dempsey magic,He wears a magic hat,He took a look at Robert Green,And said "I fancy that",He'll score 'em with his left foot,He'll score 'em with his right,And when he plays for Fulham,He'll score all f***in' night...

1.05.2011

When I was in elementry school we had the theatre students from the local community college (Grayson County Community College, stand up!) come by and do a rendition of "Peter Pan." It sucked. But the privileged youth of today? They get a cotdamn back-flipping, boogalooing, soccer-obsessed lion to come to their auditorium and indoctrinate them into the church of MLS. Did I get jipped or what?

And BTW isn't this eerily reminiscent of the Minotaur Energy Drink presentation in the film Role Models?

The Boy King of New York & Jersey™ may not be getting as much playing time for his club as most of us would like to see but that's not going to stop 723 Films from dropping a mixtape of his USMNT exploits. And that's a good thing really because I think some folks out there have forgotten just how hot the kid is; don't let all the Spanish pine-riding fool you, dude is still probably the most legit American striker since Waldo.

Did y'all see Rafa's new spot in Chelsea yet? Dude is living. I know TiTi's ass castle in Soho had a higher price tag but this place has 6 bedrooms and 4.5 baths. In Manhattan that is just an unheard of amount of space, usually reserved for the Mayoral residence or the house from The Royal Tenenbaums. I wonder what it would take to get myself invited over there for an evening of Sol's and Real Madrid bashing before the close of the 2011 regular season?