STRONG BAD:{typing} Well, Rafi, being the distinguished buisnessman {continues with the misspelling/pronunciation used earlier} that I am, I've had a theme park in development for quite some time now. Almost as long as I've been growin' this mustache.

{As this is said, the appropriate words flash on the screen above the view of the theme park.}

STRONG BAD:{voiceover} And it will have more rides than you or your grandmother can handle.

{As this is said, the words "More Rides Than You Or Your Grandmother Can Handle!*" appear along with a "*please do not bring your grandmother" disclaimer on the bottom.}

STRONG BAD:{voiceover} Of course, our flagship roller coaster would be

{Cut to view of the roller coaster, which is perfectly circular and spins continually without stopping. The Trogdor arcade game music is playing in the background}

STRONG BAD:{voiceover} The Bowels of Trogdor!!

{Pan out to see that The King of Town is riding the roller coaster and screaming.}

STRONG BAD:{voiceover} Which would like whip you around and around until you either throw up or catch fire somehow.

{The King of Town catches fire somehow.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Hooieooieooieooieooieooieooieooie!

{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat and the entrance to the ride. A Trogdor sign is there that says "Peasants must be as tall as my beefy arm to ride this ride." The Cheat is clearly not tall enough.}

STRONG BAD: Sorry, little guy, {The Cheat starts to stand on tip-toes.} I can't do nothing for you. {The Cheat puts on a top hat and starts to stand on tip-toes again.} Maybe you better head over to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land instead.

THE CHEAT:{disappointed The Cheat noise}

{Cut to Strong Sad standing on a stage.}

STRONG BAD:{voiceover} And every hour, at the main stage, there'd be a performance of "The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular"!

STRONG BAD:{typing} But yeah, it's a pretty unrealistic vision. I'm gonna have to start robbing WAY more hot actresses if I ever hope to make that dream a reality. But for now, I'll settle for giving tours on The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.

{He gets up. Cut to Strong Bad standing in a box in Strong Badia. He holds some sort of microphone.}

STRONG BAD:{Strong Bad makes a microphone click noise and speaks in an emotionless theme park tour guide-styled voice throughout the rest of the email. In each phrase, the pitch rises, reaches a high in the middle, and then falls} Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen my name is Strong Bad and welcome to The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure. {Strong Bad makes a click noise again.}

{Cut to wide view of Strong Bad standing in a box labeled "riverquest safariventure." Homestar sits in front of him in the box. To the left is a running hose. The water from the hose forms a puddle around the box.}

STRONG BAD:{click} Please keep your arms legs and valuables inside the vehicle at all times and get ready to experience the fury of: The Strong Badian Riverboat Superfun...ride.

The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure is reminiscent of the Jungle Cruise found in Disney theme parks. The way Strong Bad does not breathe or show any expression and his rise-and-fall delivery is reminiscent of Jungle Cruise tour guides who have given the same tour over and over again. The shooting of a warning shot (in this case a starter's pistol) to scare off the bear and shark "headhunters" is directly from the tour guide script. Most of Strong Bad's speech correlates to the tour.

MIKE: The original Teen Girl Squad. Uh, I think that was... So and So?

MATT: Yeah?

MIKE: Nah, it was either The Ug... I think it was The Ugly One. All right, let's talk about something else.

MATT: Okay. I like "buisness."

MIKE: Buisness. Didn't we record, um, 'cuz there's a little Easter egg with him saying "Why you're all up on my buisness."

MATT: Oh, yeah.

MIKE: Teen Girl Squad.

MATT: We never put it out. We were gonna make it the Quote of the— Let's do that this week, make it the Quote of the Week.

MIKE: Maybe, it'll seem like we're talking about something really old when they hear this on the DVD.

MATT: Perhaps.

MIKE: But we're really talking about the future.

{awkward pause}

MATT: So, we sh— I feel like we should start over on this commentary already.

MIKE: That's... let's keep going.

MATT: All right.

MIKE: Let's plug on through.

MATT: We'll give it a shot.

{Pause until Strong Bad mentions "Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land"}

MATT: I'd like to see what Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land looks like.

MIKE: Yeah, I think maybe originally that was gonna be in the email; I think we talked about showing, you know, like the teacups that were the spinning-around teacups that were Eh! Steves or something.

MATT: Yeah. But then the email would be nine minutes long.

MIKE: Yeah, it was really long already. So, back in the background there is a Shark-Tooth Bubs, um, which is a real plush, plush doll that a factory in China made for us. It was a prototype. They misinterpreted Bubs's eyes and teeth, and... pretty much everything!

MATT: As his fangs.

MIKE:{laughing} His fangs.

MATT: And a horn.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: I like that the box there, that he just that knocked that over on, says "Box for Throw Game" stenciled on the side of it. It's mass-produced somewhere and shipped to Mt. Ridesplace... for that sole purpose. {lets Coach Z as Stoppy appear} Stoppy has some things in his cheeks, maybe.

MATT:{at Homsar as General Tso's Chicken} Now that's a reference to our friend Ryan Sterritt, who has authored this very DVD you're watching.

MIKE: He's sitting in the room right next to us. Unbeknownst to him, we're talking about him.

MATT: Yeah, let's go in... let's throw stuff at him next time we see him.

MIKE: We should. I like to throw stuff at Ryan.

{pause}

MIKE: What should we talk about on this part? Oh, this is a good... this is, this is my favorite part.

MATT: Yeah, we... this should have been two emails, I feel like.

MIKE: Yeah, 'cuz it was done up to this point, and then there's another ten minutes.

MATT: So there's a particular visit, uh, to Busch Gardens I took, and I believe there's a roller coaster called The Scorpion, where— that I'm basing this, I mean, definitely, it's obviously based on...

MIKE: No! You can't say it!

MATT: What?

MIKE: Sorry. I was just saying that my name was Klaus Meine and that I was The Scorpion... Sorry.