Ana Cheri – First MFM threesome. A Bad and humiliating experience

First MFM threesome. A Bad and humiliating experience

Me 26M and my gf (25F) after 1 year of relationship decide to go thru a MFM threesome. I left her pick the guy of course, as i wont be touching him at all.
The guy was really good looking, but this didnt worry me much honestly. I got a bit anxious when he took out a 8+ inch dick, very girthy as well.
So i start having sex with my gf while she blows him, she didnt feel ready for dp anyways, so me and the other guy were taking turns basically.
To put it simply, when he started to fuck her, I felt like it was useless for me be there. I’ve never heard my gf be so vocal, nor i saw her have an orgasm so easily and quickly.
She always told me she has an hard time reaching orgasm, thats why i maybe make her cum 50% of the times during penetration.
Well, while this guy was fucking her, she came 3 times, and came really hard, shaking and almost passing out. 3 times.
I never felt insecure about my average 6 inches dick, and i didnt think size mattered much to her pleasure anyways.
She was having fun, too much fun maybe, and i didnt want to ruin the party so i played along for her peace of mind. When i went back to fuck her, she was extremely loose, she was probably not even feeling me at all.
The most heartwrecking thing is that she was pushing me to go deeper…but i phisically couldn’t. This killed me.

Im not sure i want to talk to her about this because she will probably say that size doesnt matter, and it would make me feel worse because it’s an obvious white lie in this case. It did matter a lot apparently.
The last thing i want is for her to think im insecure and weak minded, but this was honestly the most humiliating experience of my life, and i hope i will get to bury this shock in my mind and not let it destroy my relationship with her. I will never, ever do this again.
If someone had a similar experience i would like to hear what did you do to get over it, how you talked to your gf or your pov in general about this. I really appreciate women point of view clearly.

PS: of course i wanted her to enjoy it, the problem is that i was not expecting this difference of size, nor i was expeting her reaction to the difference of size.

TLDR: gf had the best sex of her life with a stranger with a big dick in a threesome and now i feel like a sub human

Edit: I would like to thank everyone for the useful advice so far. I might need to see the bigger picture of the encounter and think twice about what happened. The size played a part…no one cant deny that, but also the situation was a fantasy of her, so she was even more turned on. I will try to come to terms with this and tell her what im feeling for real in a calm and resolute way. I will try my best to not make her feel bad about this and i hope she will understand my insecurities and anxiety. I dont know honestly if this can be recoreved because, as someone said, i might have opened pandora’s box. I guess it will depends by her response and how we treat this. Im always the cool and dominant and confident guy for her and i fear she will think less of me.

_____

Mellrish221: Well….There is nothing nice to say about this.

This is case#302838108410813083 of a poorly planned and badly executed threesome that will likely cause long term damage if not destroy the relationship.

I don’t want this to come off as a lecture but, there are some things you need to understand where you went wrong.

FIRSTLY, threesomes are for people who are COMPLETELY satisfied in their sexual life. They are NOT for people who need to spice up the bedoom, they are not for people who think its going to save their relationship. Adding more people into your relationship that has problems (not to say yours did) is not an answer.

Next, threesomes require the utmost trust and open communication or you get scenarios like yours. If you can’t ask her what shes looking for in fucking another guy, or if you can’t handle her asking you why you wanna fuck another girl do-not-do-it. You HAVE to talk about every little nagging thought that could possibly come up and then mentally prepare for at least twice as many coming up in the heat of the moment. Again, you have to be a couple that is capable of communicating the good and the bad to each other and responding rationally.

Last, threesomes need to be mutual. YOU have to want that third person there and she has to as well. If one of you is just doing it to placate the other, it will 100% end in disaster. You see this with mostly MFF threesomes where the girl just puts up with the guy wanting to fuck other chicks, but he won’t allow a MFM threesome because he doesn’t want his sexual ego challenged. You have to be able to recognize this sort of stuff about yourself and realize when you have to step in and say no.

So, to recap. Both of you have to be 100% on board, sexually satisfied and capable of communicating.

Where do you go from here?

Talk to her. Today, right now. I promise you, you cannot just bury this and hope it goes away. It going to pop up, that image in your head of her enjoying being fucked good by another guy and its going to eat away at you. You’re not being jealous/petty/insecure, you BOTH jumped into something you shouldn’t have and were not ready for it.

Now, this is key. You CANNOT talk to her about this in a confrontational manner. If you do, it’ll set the tone as you being jealous and petty and most likely slam the door on any possibility of resolving this. If you talk to her, tell her that you didn’t enjoy it, that you don’t need to get even or anything like that and have a MFF or that your not even upset with her. It was a mistake you both made and it made you feel insignificant as a lover. Hopefully its a good relationship and you both try and comfort one another…

But, understand you’ve pretty much opened pandora’s box here and there is literally no telling whats going to happen. You do NEED to talk about it. Cause again i promise you, it won’t go away on its own. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you can salvage this. I do hope you take this as a learning experience at the very least.

Best of luck.

isabellebabyxo: I just wanted to say sometimes it’s the intensity of a new & risky experience that gets me off as a woman, hardly about dick size. Obviously that doesn’t change what you saw or felt just wanted to mention. I’m sorry it was a bad experience for you.

Oregonlost: The first time we full swapped with another couple the excitement got the best of me and I couldn’t keep it up with the other women. I rolled with it and we all focused on pleasing my wife and she had a great time. That being said when we left I felt like absolute shit, I was the limp noodle while he was the stud fucking two chicks. And to top it off the condom broke in my wife at the worst moment and she ended up with a pussy full of another man’s cum while I had to ride home with blue balls. I was having what I can only describe as a panic attack from the crushing anxiety of the whole situation, skin crawling, heavy chest, the works… I went home, showered, and then talked it out with my wife. We had both agreed to leave any time the other felt uncomfortable and I had repeatedly confirmed that I was still on board after my difficulties. I told her how I felt and that I didn’t think I wanted too do it again. She was supportive, comforting and did the best she could to empathize with me and let me know how much better sex was with me when it’s just us. Then we had crazy sex on the residual excitement and tried to move on. I felt shity for a couple weeks after but it slowly faded as the sex at home was still amazing and I gained my confidence in my equipment and abilities back. Fast forward to the next time we meet that couple (our only playmates) and I don’t have nearly the issues from before and we have a great time. Now I’m looking forward to the next time we can get together with them.

I had the full gambit of emotions over that few weeks, ranging from cut and run “this ruined how I see her” feelings and thinking things will never be the same, all the way to worrying I had opened up a slutty Pandora’s box and my wife was suddenly going to be chasing every dick but mine. Those feelings were real, but they were also temporary. If I had made a rash decision in the first few days after I could have fucked up or ended my entire marriage. My biggest advice is to let your self feel the emotions but don’t let them fool you into a decision you’ll regret once your head is back on streight. Give it a few days or weeks if you need to befor you talk about it in detail, tell her you need some time to work it out in your head and that you are not upset with her for enjoying something you originally did spacificly to enjoy (this is important).

It will pass and everything will go back to normal, or it might not, but don’t make a quick decision on a relationship you clearly had a lot of value in befor and probably still do.

PM me if you would like to chat about it more, or I’d be happy to reply in this thread.

Best of luck, keep you’re eye on the positive!

agoodpuppyforsir: My understanding of threesomes is let the guy pick the guy and let the girl pick the girl.

That said, orgasms are kinda weird things for us because we can’t always control it. I usually have a hard time cumming but my bf played this new game and wham, it took maybe 30 seconds. Maybe she was cumming so quickly from the hotness of the whole situation?

Whatever it is, talk to her. Strangers on Reddit aren’t going to help as much as communication will.

ZenviZi: Threesomes, especially MFM are not for everyone. I’m sorry about this, but you definitely have to talk to her. And what you should do is some research on sexual tricks and other stuff to spice things up. It’ll make you feel better, and her most likely.

kawaiiskogsdotter: I don’t think that burying this experience in the back of your mind is going to have a good longtime effect. It sounds like it really messed with you emotionally.
Definitely talk to her about it and maybe even arrange a one/two time meet up with a sex-positive counselor to talk it through?

I’m generally really unhappy with the size of my chest, If my boyfriend was having sex with a really busty lady and seemed to be enjoying it way more than that he would be enjoying sex with me, it would crush me too. I would probably consider ending the relationship over that, as I don’t think I’d ever be able to forget the way he reacted. So definitely be open and honest to your partner about this.

Sir_Gamez_Alot: I will probably be downvoted for this but here it goes.

Anecdotal, but every relationship I’ve personally known has never survived a threesome unless they started out non-monogamous. And the ones that are still going are unhealthy.

Sex with just the 2 of you will never be the same for a long ass time, if ever. You allowed her to fuck another dude in front of you and you witnessed pleasure that you haven’t been able to give her up to this point in your relationship. There are so many ways to spice up sex that don’t include an extra.

I would just be straight up with how you feel about and maybe she can reassure you. Again, if she says that you give her more satisfaction than the other guy, which is most likely true, you’re still going to struggle with believing it. Those images will run through your head.

Maybe therapy can help. I just wish you wouldn’t have done this. Ever time I catch a post on this sub where a couple is contemplating a threesome I always try my best to let them know the risks involved.

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fantastic-dan: If I was in your situation I wouldn’t be able to get over it and the insecurity would turn to resentment very quickly.

Absolutely talk to her. I’m not certain it’ll solve the situation, but it’s important she know how you feel and for you to know she’s aware of what you felt.

You’re a young man, if this relationship doesn’t work out you WILL find someone else, someone better. As someone else said here, take this as a learning situation.

high-priestess: She very easily could’ve seemed to enjoy the sex so much because of the taboo, not because he was well-endowed. Being shared by two guys is a fantasy that turned reality for her. I highly suggest you communicate openly with her about how this experience made you feel- you can’t move past this if you don’t talk about it, no matter how hard it may be. Best of luck to you.

aarney74: I’m so sorry.

Storm1k: You got cucked, son.

souljah978: ROFL! Why did you think it was a good idea to have someone else fuck your wife? Jesus.

If you were into that thing sort of thing and confident in your relationship then that’s cool but clearly you are not. You deserve to be humiliated.

RedLetterMediaFan111: I have a nearly 8 inch dick (in reality, not fake/improperly measured), and in my experience all women have cum relatively easily from PIV, and all of them have gone crazy for my dick, in some way or another. I think size really matters, sorry OP, but it’s your fault for being a cuckold.

neversiempre: It did not occur to you that something like this could happen?

MoClaiborne: Dude ignore all these people trying to say it might not have been his size that caused that response. It was clearly his size. These people are trying to convince themselves that a bigger dick wouldn’t make them or their gf respond the same way. Newness doesn’t cause that kind of reaction, only physical mechanics can. Trust me, I’ve been around the block. Find a new girl.

MemberKablaam: SHE DIDN’T CUM BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION, BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T CUM WHEN OP FUCKED HER IN THE SAME SITUATION.

LOGIC GAMES BABY

(If she had also come with OP during the same threesome, then we could have attributed her reaction to the situation. But she did not, so we can safely say it was the size. Which makes sense, she was probably having a lot of new spots hit.)

SmallishBiGuy: I’ve had many threesomes. I’ve been the 3rd person, and I’ve been the longterm boyfriend. It is more difficult being the boyfriend. I say this even as someone who is a bit of a cuckold. I think it was difficult for me because we were polyamorous and she would spend the whole night with the hung guy (or a butch with a big strapon). Still, I know how you feel. It can feel parylizing. I hope so much to see my future girlfriend with a hung stud, but I know it will be intense. I sign up for that kind of intense reality though. I like it a lot.

1. As guys I think we should not hold dead set on us having the best penis our lover has ever had, or being the most skilled she’s ever had. That’s too unrealistic, or not always possible. It’s better to live in the moment and know you are Mr. Now. You are who she is choosing to date. Non sexual things matter a lot in mate choice.

2. I think it was probably the turn on of the naughty adventure like the women who have responded claim AND his dick size too. It can be both, and that is fine. You wanted to see her enjoy herself and give this to her as a gift, right?

** To others noticing the number of threads like this, many of them may be made up by cuckolds that enjoy reading discussion about penis size of fucking skills, or it could be someone that hates threesomes and keeps displaying train wrecks. Something to keep in mind.

I know the guy that has almost monthly asked if he should try a threesome with his girlfriend that likes fisting is someone getting off to these replies. (I’m enjoying the replies too, but….)

Missscarlettheharlot: The first time I had a MFM threesome I came so much I almost passed out, and honestly the dude I was fucking was pretty garbage in bed, and I doubt I would have been able to get off at all had I just hooked up with him. My FWB setting the threesome up for me was a huge fantasy of mine, and that alone was enough to make it awesome.

There are also a ton of factors beyond just size that might have been at play in how good the sex was for her. What did he do that she enjoyed?

redderthehead85: I want to jump on the train with the other people that are saying that there’s obviously something about you that your lady likes for her to be in a relationship with you – only part of that is the sex. My husband and I are poly. He’s my best friend. No amount of good dicking from someone else will change how much I love and want to continue my life with him.

Oregonlost: Also one other tip is to look at things from another perspective. This was a big part of me getting past that initiall wave of jealousy / fear if inadequacy. I had to keep reminding myself that even though they were other people we were with, we went shopping for them as if they were just sex toys, and if I bought my wife a sex toy would I want her to be disappointed in it just to prove how much better my dick was? No I would want that dam thing to rock her world, I paid good money for her to enjoy herself after all! maybe her choice of human sex toy has a different shape or size then me but would I feel the same way about it if it was a piece of plastic? The third party is no more then a dick in a box to us, sure the conversation is nice and we like the other couple as people too but when we get in bed they are just fancy sex toys to us now! (and we are too them)

MrFrivolity: Hey man, really sorry this didn’t go the way you planned. But remember, there is no useless experience, even with bad ones. Sometimes we have to stumble and make mistakes so we can learn from them. You often learn more from failures than you do success.

Build yourself back up. OK, he had a bigger dick and made her cum and orgasm. But there’s always a balance, you must’ve been better at something else. Not to make this petty or a dick swinging contest, but I want you to focus on keeping yourself afloat and pick yourself up. No one else can do it for you I’m afraid to say. And remember, there are threads here where many women often do not enjoy bigger dicks and actually said they preferred sex with average/smaller penises. Look [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/7lm4z1/f19_better_sex_with_a_smaller_penis/) for example.

Do you workout? If so, work harder. Build more muscle and tone. If not, hit the gym and get training. I promise you it’s a great stress relief and will boost your self-esteem.

Mellrish221 gave great advice which I can’t really add to. Just wanted to give you some encouragement. People do care. And at least you had the guts to try it.

Wishing you the best mate. We’re all here if you still need support, you’re not alone. No man’s an island, we’re an archipelago (“Geez who writes this shit?!” ). Seriously though, let us know how it goes.

MikeFormer: This post is probably someone with a cuckold fetish trying to get people involved in it…..

If not the poster should probably end the relationship because he will never forget this experience

DmiLove: Remember that it could have easily been the experience that pushed her over the edge, three times. So not a bigger dick but the fact she was having sex with someone else in front of you, any dick would have done. So perhaps there are other naughty things to try that will be equally stimulating but without the need of a second cock.

Millennialpride: Dang. It’ll probably eat at you. Either you talk it over and spend a lot of time working past this, or you cut your losses.

TO_throwaway1: Cut bait and move on.

Keefsmoov: This is fucking cringe city. This happened to me. First and only three way I’ve had. Wasn’t my girlfriend though. Can’t imagine. Dude wasn’t even that big. I’m just kinda thin. It has fucked with me my entire life. Why god cant i just have a slightly larger diameter.

pekes86: Ok, so I agree with what a lot of people have said here, about the lack of preparation and the fact that we shouldn’t sugarcoat it too much. Having said that, ok, another female checking in here with a “sugar-coated” response; I get that she came a bunch for him and not for you, and that fucking sucks a whole lot. That must feel awful and I’m really sorry it happened. My guy is also about 6 inches, and holy jesusballs do I love him and his dick and his body and sleeping with him. I also struggle to come sometimes. If a threesome were my fantasy, though, and IN ADDITION TO THAT you gave me a whole new dick to play with, and I was super excited about that, and it hit different spots and yeah, was girthy etc, I’d probably be pretty into it too. It is false to attribute the excitement fully to the situation of a threesome, but it isn’t false to attribute at least some of it to how different and exciting it was, and a fantasy. His dick being a different size/shape/person was a part of that experience. It does suck, but I just wanted to mention all this to say that even if I had an experience like your gf’s one, I would never want to trade in my boyfriend’s junk or body for anything. He is infinitely better for me than any other big shlong. I’m sure your gf feels the same – but I know this must be a huge struggle and easier to logically say what I’m saying than to actually feel how you’re feeling. Wanted to tell you anyway, and send a hug and a good luck.

Truhammer: Finally irrefutable proof that size is all that matters.

xantharia: Surely you don’t think that there is no guy out there who is more handsome than you, nor who is a better lover, nor better endowed, smarter, richer, etc etc. Odds are, there will always be better fish in the sea. Your GF knows that too, but since we can’t have them all, she reconciled to settling for you. Rather than bemoan that there are better guys out there, just accept who you are and congratulate yourself for having generously arranged for your GF to enjoy the best lay she’s had in a long time. You can improve yourself in other ways, like being more tidy in the home or doing the laundry. Keep this guy’s number handy, and each year when it’s her birthday you can give her permission to see him and she’ll be eternally grateful.

HolyPenguin5: These types of posts always make me laugh.

3axapu: Cat is out of the bag. It will probably be very hard, if not impossible, to recover from this. Good luck bud.

daguy11: Why the fuck would you let another man have sex with your girlfriend. The fact that she would put you through this is warning sign enough, get control of yourself..

MoClaiborne: This is why you should only have threesomes with guys smaller than you. Honestly, the only thing you can do now is break up and let her find a hung guy. If you really love her, let her have full emotional AND physical satisfaction in her life.

Meanwhile, find a girl who is small down there, who can only handle a max of what you have. You will make her respond like your wife did to the hung guy, and in the long run you will be happier with her. Emotional satisfaction can only grow when peak physical satisfaction is there.

It will be hard at first, yeah, but these things always are. Whenever you start to feel bad, just remember the bigger picture. Size matters to your gf, and she is meant to be with someone hung. Don’t try to salvage this, as it is clearly not meant to be.

MoClaiborne: Seriously, don’t even talk to her. Just leave. Idc if it’s not sex positive, this is the best thing for you, and any self respecting man. Find a girl who is completely fulfilled with 6 inches. Then let emotional attraction grow.

WiseOldDorna: My advice, and this should be the only advice you take:

Leave. It’s really your only choice. You will always remember how she was more satisfied by his size. Trust me, that isn’t something you want loomig over you forever, or even two weeks.

Look at it this way: she clearly prefers a hung man. For the world to be right, she needs to be with a hung man, and you need to be with a girl who responds the way she did, to your size. I know it feels like you won’t ever possible find that, but trust me, there are girls out there who are used to 4 inches, and would feel a stabbing sensation with 8 inches. You would be Mr. 8 inch to them.

Not only that, but these girls who would faint over your 6 inches will also also be intelligent. They will be loving. They will love and appreciate the things you are into. They will want to make a happy life full of adventures with you. And most importantly, they will be 100% satisfied with you, unlike your current girlfriend.

I’d love to tell you that it was other variables that illicited her response, but I think you would know that simply isn’t the case. As another user posted, the numbers don’t lie. For her to find a guy with the top 1% of penis size, and to also have that reaction with that 1%, speaks volumes.

Mirawenya: Perhaps since this was something really kinky and new, she was extra super turned on by it? It’s usually easier to come when there’s something new and exciting happening. I’ve had the hard to come times with my bf, and the omg how did I come in one minute times with my bf. I’d put it on situation. Seems logical.

dhng194: Now you need to do a FMF where you pick the girl

boujie_glaze: Reading this after 12 hrs of reponses I just want to say that I am really impressed and happy to see that you are taking time to reflect and seek help before lashing out irrationally; something that many of us would immediately do- which would be understandable.

I have no idea what your relationship is like but you are giving alot in the relationship: fulfilling her fantasy, letting her keep that peace of mind when your insecurities arose and you bringing up your feelings once your ready to talk about them. It sounds like your in a healthy relationship and I would hope that your gf is the same way with you.

As a third party I just want you to know that your feelings are validated. In a scenario where she dosnt react well and dosnt seriously listen to your concerns please dont ..internalize your feelings in the future. Your being very brave sharing these thoughts and I dont want you to feel like theres anything wrong with you. I might be rambling and not making sense.

MeepoXL: Hold on… did you want her to have a sub-par experience so you could feel better?

You need to screw your head on a bit tighter, she had a great time and your insecurities are in the way of you enjoying it too.

Alfalfa121: DO not express insecurity about your sexual attractiveness, penis size, or ability to please her. It will be a self fulfilling insecurity. Women do not find insecurity attractive. Yes, your feelings are valid and real, but no good will come out of sharing those with her. Keep it to yourself.
If she wants to do this again, either say no, or do it on the condition that you choose the partner together.

I once had a girlfriend who wanted a threesome with a girl. I found a girl who was arguably hotter than my GF, and asked if she would like to come home with me to my GF and I to have sex. I texted my GF, if she was ok I came home with someone. Let’s just say no man has seen a greater wrath. And I did absolutely nothing wrong, the other girl and I parted ways with no inappropriate touching or anything. Point is, insecurity is normal and it is ok for you to chose thirds together so the chance of that is minimized, but by the punishment of death do not mention your insecurities to your SO!

WildWellington: She had sex with a fleshy sex toy and enjoyed it. Do you feel jealous of a big vibrator? Reframe this experience – and remember she’s still with you and a relationship is more than your dick. You should still have the talk and open up about your feelings. You can say your fear and insecurity may be irrational, but it’s still how you feel, but just remember that initial metaphor, it might help.

cantdressherself: “I’m not sure I want to talk to her about this”

That is your biggest problem. All your other problems are solvable, with communication, trust, and self examination. You can’t do any of that if you can’t talk to her about it.

Talk to her. She needs to know that this wasn’t a good experience for you.