I wrote this story about “Lolita” in 2008 and, at the time, felt little connection to her. But, in the past year as my career and personal life have changed in (scary and exciting) ways I never could have predicted – I started to understand her. I found myself re-writing this piece, for exercise and therapy.

Before this last year or so, I’ve always been able to retreat and resurface. Attention—and more importantly people’s perception of me—was something that I could control. Or at least try to. But social media and the internet has changed that (also being on Showtime docu-series and a 5 part National Toshiba commercial has also changed that).

2015 is a time of “likes” and “followers” and “direct messages” and constant connection with strangers. But I wonder a lot: what do people really know about me? Or each other for that matter? And how far is that from reality? “Lolita” seems to have it all. Dom Perignon and opulence. Attention and adornment. But, as I’ve learned this past year, “seems” can’t really be trusted.