I wonder if his weight-gaining girlfriend is just a story, or whether he did have one, but his constant hectoring drove her to overeat just out of desire to prove he couldn't control her?

I'd put money on the latter. I definitely gained weight due to my food/exercise-nagging ex. He was also, interestingly enough, obsessed with running and thought me a failure for not doing it (it makes my ankles stabby).

I wondered that to be honest. I personally wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him, but as she mentioned, its not her problem anymore. I don't think he's contacted her since which is good news. Makes you wonder if the ex actually was that weight, or just in his eyes. They are both shut of him in my opinion!

The dates on when he split up with her compared to how on he's been on the sites though, its proof he's lying about something either way! Made me wonder why he stayed so long communicating on-line but then I reckon I over-think things!

I was worried he might turn up at her gym, but she said its expensive and she actually gets a whoppingly stupid discount through her work, so she doesn't think he'd be able to go there.

I wonder if his weight-gaining girlfriend is just a story, or whether he did have one, but his constant hectoring drove her to overeat just out of desire to prove he couldn't control her?

I'd put money on the latter. I definitely gained weight due to my food/exercise-nagging ex. He was also, interestingly enough, obsessed with running and thought me a failure for not doing it (it makes my ankles stabby).

Obsession with running in particular is really common in this type of jerk. I used to work with a guy who would nag another co-worker about how she shouldn't bicycle to work, she should run instead because it was "better exercise." She kept trying to explain that the goal of biking to work wasn't "to maximize the amount of exercise she was getting" but "to have a pleasant bike ride to work," and running was less enjoyable for her, so it wouldn't achieve that goal. The woman was in great shape, too, though that doesn't even matter to this variety of mansplainer.

I think they do it from the start. When I was dating, it would always be guys I met running, or at the gym, and I assume that's because they wanted thin women they could assume would stay thin. Then if you'd do anything that might someday cause a pound to be gained, they'd flip out. Including and maybe especially on the first date, because they need to make sure you're obsessive enough about your weight.

I think they do it from the start. When I was dating, it would always be guys I met running, or at the gym, and I assume that's because they wanted thin women they could assume would stay thin. Then if you'd do anything that might someday cause a pound to be gained, they'd flip out. Including and maybe especially on the first date, because they need to make sure you're obsessive enough about your weight.

It's just a sad way to live (in addition to the jerky way they go about it), and a way to set oneself up for a whole life of disappointing serial monogamy as they continue to chase the shiny. Not wanting to start a debate about the value of exercise in general--it's just this idea that you can get into a long-term relationship and you can somehow micromanage the person into never changing. Even if they stay exactly the same weight forever and ever, they will age. They might develop health problems. They will change emotionally/mentally. And so will the person wanting to do the controlling. It's just part of being human.

What a butthead! OP, I'm glad your friend stood up to him, and told him there would not BE any more dates! I wouldn't put up with his baloney either. While I'm fluffy and out of shape, running is something I simply cannot do, due to my knees being completely shot. So that and a lot of other exercises are out of the question. yet in the past, I've worked with PT's who were able to work around MY limitations, and give me other stuff to do.

And anyone who dares to question MY food consumption will have an issue. Even if I look like I could miss a whole bunch of meals! He was way too controlling, and I'm not surprised he's single!