And So It Goes Janet Givens’ BlogMore on the Blog's name

And so it goes -- sometimes So it goes -- the lament that permeates Kurt Vonnegut’s classic Slaughterhouse-Five, addresses the notion that certain events are beyond our control. It honors fatalism, resignation, and the inevitability of death (among other things), and the consequent acceptance of our fate.

Just as Vonnegut tried to educate his readers to a greater understanding of the human condition, And So It Goes, the blog, tries to educate readers to a greater understand of the culture that, inevitably and unconsciously, molds us.

We do that by looking at cultures that are different than our own. And we pay special attention to the parts of those cultures that trouble us, that make us gasp, that make us turn away.

Here on my blog, we take the time to take a closer look, to chew on what we’ve been swallowing whole.
Adopting the existential notion that we create our own reality, we understand that that reality is also molded by our environment and perpetuated by our culture.

And so it goes.

Chincoteague 2015 Writers’ Retreat Redux

Four women came from different parts of the country to join me in my rental property on Chincoteague Island, Virginia last week. It quickly came to be known as the CincoChincoChics Retreat(first annual?)

We were together seven days: seven breakfasts, lunches, and dinners; and seven mornings, afternoon, and evenings.

And it was grand.

We hadn’t planned much in the weeks before we met, only learning each other’s food idiosyncrasies and that each of us would be responsible for one dinner. We ate out twice and had five slow-food evening meals:

Turkey and Black Bean Chili -- Monday

From Janet: This recipe, from Weight Watcher’s Comfort Foods cook book, serves four. I doubled it and we had leftovers for lunch one day. (I also replaced the fat-free items with tasty ones).

2 t olive oil

1 onion, chopped

1 greeen pepper, seeded and chopped

4 garlic cloves, minced

¾ lb ground skinless turkey

1 (15 oz) can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 14 1/3 ounce can diced tomatoes

1 T chili powder

2 t ground cumin

1 t dried oregano

1/2 t salt

½ cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1/4 cup sour cream

¼ cup sliced scallions

Heat the oil in a large nonstick saucepan over medium high heat. Add the onion, bell pepper, and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in the beans, tomatoes, chili powder, cumin, oregano, and salt; bring to a boil Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, until the vegetables are very tender, about 30 minutes. Serve with the cheese, sour cream, and scallions.

Caramelized Onion, Mushroom, CheeseFrittata -- Tuesday

From Joan Z Rough: Caramelize 2 medium to large sweet onions in butter, until a golden brown and set aside

In the pan that you will cooking the frittata in, melt 2 TBSP. butter and saute about 8 oz. sliced mushrooms, a handful of sliced red, yellow or green pepper, and any other vegetables that appeal to you. When the veggies are just beginning to soften add a big handful of chopped Italian parsley, a TBSP. of chopped fresh rosemary, one or two minced cloves of garlic, salt and pepper, a big handful of fresh greens, such as kale or spinach, any left over precooked vegetables you have. Add the caramelized onions and take off heat.

Beat 1 dozen eggs, adding salt and pepper and pour over the vegetables.

Sprinkle the top with about 1 cup of shredded sharp white cheddar cheese or any other cheese you desire. Place pan back on heat and watch carefully as it begins cooking. You can run a knife around the edge as the eggs set. When the eggs are almost completely set, place the pan in the oven and bake until the frittata is puffy, and golden brown. Serve with a fresh green salad. This feeds 4 to 6 people.

with Waldorf Salad

Pasta Fagioli -- on Saturday

From Kathy Pooler: Saute one medium onion, 3 cloves of garlic ( more or less to your liking) and bacon bits in olive oil. You can use chopped pepperoni aa a substitute for the bacon. ( 1/4 cup is enough for flavor)

Add 32 oz chicken broth, 32 oz of diced tomatoes. Simmer

Rinse two cans of cannellini beans and add to liquid. (I have substituted garbanzo beans or great northern beans)

Mix 1 cup of grated Parmesan or Romano cheese with 1 T. parsley, 1/2 tsp of oregano and a pinch of cayenne pepper, salt and pepper and to the pot.

Add greens—spinach, kale, escarole. I use half a bag of frozen spinach.

Let simmer.

Boil ditalini or any kind of small-sized pasta (i.e., elbows) separately and add to soup at the end.

Serve with garden salad and crusty bread.

Mangia!

We had a salad with every meal (and wine), and consciously had no desserts except ice cream one night when it just “fit” and Shirley’s yummy apple “pie.”

Here's her recipe.

Not since my years with my colleagues in Kazakhstan, have I felt such sustained joy in the presence of other women.

As I wrote in the final chapters of At Home on the Kazakh Steppe, I’d been afraid I’d never again find such camaraderie as I had with my colleagues. But after this weekend, with these four particular women, I know better.
Magic happened when we put our egos on the shelf. For one week, we focused on connection, companionship, generosity, kindness, respect, and fun. And, oh yes, we got a LOT of work done too.

Here’s a recap of how our week shook out.

Shirley guides us as we break the week into parts

We chose the warmest day of the week to hike on the beach,

which, because of the wind, became a hike on the Woodland Trail,

to see the ponies

which led to a hike on a second side trail to see the water,

which turned out to be the wrong trail, resulting in a call for an unanticipated rescue vehicle.

Our one-mile walk on the beach had, according to someone’s pedometer, turned out to be three times the distance. For one of our party, that was simply too much.

Ah, the memories.

We fixed our own breakfasts and lunches and wound up together on the sun porch overlooking the canal, visiting, exploring ideas, and telling stories as we ate. And laughing. Always laughing.

Following each breakfast and lunch, we were on our own to write, read, edit, or explore.

Some took writing breaks and walked around the neighborhood. Here’s a shot that Shirley took at the end of my street.

After dinner, we gathered more formally in the living room. From 7 to 9 (or later), one of us had the spotlight: an opportunity to talk about, ask about, or read to the rest of us whatever she wanted.

Here’s Shirley exploring her “box in the basement” with us.

We each sought clarity in these sessions and, from all accounts, we each got it.

We also got to know one another in a new way during these talks. We learned of our early struggles, our future goals, and our ever-present challenges.

When it was my turn, I got a surprise.

After getting feedback on a few “shimmering images” I’d written, I asked about my blog. These were women whose opinion I trusted. My blog had been, after all, how I’d come to know them. And last week, my blog had me stymied.

“I thought I knew you,” came the important comment. “But you are much funnier, livelier … in person.” It didn’t take us long to go from that to laughing about the possibilities in store for me as And So It Goes (“what does that mean?”) became

Janet Unleashed

“But I did that with that breastfeeding one,” I protested, referring to my post of January 28, Bringing Cultural Differences Home. And I waxed on about how that story had first landed on me: with a gulp and a gasp and an OMG or two.

“Write that,” exclaimed the blonde one. And she gave me a homework assignment!

As a result, “eyes high on my forehead” and “eyebrows in a permanent arc” shall live forever in my blog of February 11, Breastfeeding Six Year Olds.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to maintain my newly unveiled voice of mirthful irreverence in isolation. This part of me, what these women called my sense of humor, doesn’t appear on demand. It’s not like I control it. Instead, I feed off the straight lines of others and I’m not sure I can feed alone (in the tank, as it were).

Time will, as it generally does, tell.

Today’s post is coming one day early so that
the women I mention below can coordinate our blog posts.
I’ll be back to my Wednesday schedule next week.

I’ll close with two of my favorite photos from our week and some links.

For those of you who normally follow all five of our blogs, I can only say, “Hang in there. And notice the differences.”

We all experienced the same week together; yet, we will invariably have remembered it differently. I’m eager to learn just how. I hope you’ll visit their sites too and see just what these differences are. After all, isn’t it the differences among us that makes life interesting, gives it its spice?

HI Ian, Always good to have you join me here. We did indeed meld well. Shirley attributes that in part to the fact that we were all either the first born or an only. No older siblings to do whatever older siblings do. I’m looking into that for a future post. We also had much in common; common interests make for great reparte. But mostly, I think, we all wanted it to work. And it did. More than, I think, any of us expected.

A “good idea whose time has come” is a force to contend with. Such was the case here. DIdn’t it just fall into place; no one forcing anything. That, to me, feels organic, natural. Right. I’m enjoying watching all the support your getting for your last blog. I have three more sign pictures to send you. Have to figure out the best way.

Kathy, I shall miss your warm and wise additions to my blog over the next many weeks. And, that’s OK. It’s good to be missed now and again, huh? May your Lenten sabbatical from social media bring you all you hoped for, and more.

I found this through Marian’s post about your week. It sounds like all of you had an amazing time. I will now have to check out your breastfeeding post, since my last published book was a Cultural Encyclopedia of the Breast. 🙂

Hello Merril, and welcome. How nice to have a new “face.” A “Cultural Encyclopedia of the Breast.” WOw; how I wish I’d known about that when I wrote that post. Can you give us just a hint of the Why and What? It reminds me of that scene in Notting Hill with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. The Julia character says something to the effect of, “what is it with breats anyway? What’s the big deal?” And Hugh Grant, not missing a beat, climbs over the bed covers to her and says, “I don’t know exactly. Let’s have a look.”

Sorry my website is down at the moment. Should be back up soon however. You found a neat way to include those recipes without taking up too much space in the text.

I’m so glad that food was an important part of our being together. It gave the week a sacramental flavor, as we brought together our various traditions and cooked with the greatest sacrament of all — love.

I had the same thought about our eating together. I loved the different rituals we all brought to that moment of “grace,” too. Did you see Like Water For Chocolate? I think that was the first time I appreciated the power of expressing love through food. Too often in our culture showing love through food had gotten a bad rap, overweight kids, and pushy moms. I love this more positive take on it.

I trust your website will be back up soon. As your final blog post, before you start your Sabbatical tomorrow, is a keeper.

Oh how Grand it was and without you, Janet, it never would have happened. You are an amazing hostess, letting things take their sweet time and in the manner we all found appropriate. You’ve covered it all from the laughter to delicious food and how the time slipped away as we all worked our fingers on our keyboards and shared who we are! Thank you so much for having us!

Janet … as I said in a comment to Joan’s blog … I am green with envy at the time you all had together … I feel that I knew each of you, but only part of each of you, and would love the opportunity that you all had. !

Mary, you are one of the Grand Elders in this brave new world. And, I am conjuring up visions of what may come next. We’ll see how it all shakes out. I would welcome the opportunity to meet you in person.