Raised in "the Lie" from birth, along with most of my extended family

Raised in "the Lie" from birth, along with most of my extended family

Firstly, I want to say a hearty hello to all the fellow ex's out there and say it's a shame I didn't sign up to this site much earlier. As my subject line says, I was brought into the cult in the same manner that I assume most of you also were, as brainwashing a child is a hell of a lot easier than changing the thinking of an adult. I'm 32 now and have been out of the corporation since I was around 19 or so, (when I went to college...no wonder they frown on it ) but it wasn't until the last 6-7 years that I really have learned about what the real world is all about and the magnificent information science can provide us with. I have nothing against people of religious faith (as that would be just dripping of irony) but I have considered myself to be atheist for several years, much to the chagrin of my ultra, super hardcore, ultimate JW mother, who told me that "no one is atheist, you have just been mislead" (speaking of irony). I was relatively lucky in that I simply stopped going to "meetings" and thus was never officially "disfellowshipped" (a word that interestingly enough is not recognized by the computer's dictionary...weird), which helps me because pretty near all of my dad's side of the family (with the exception of my dad, brother and a few cousins) are all followers of that ever loving imaginary man in the sky.

Had I told my story 10 years ago, the sarcasm I relay it to now would have been replaced with venomous anger and repulsion directed towards the cult, for all the wasted years of avoided potential friends and showing very little concern for school and teachers that all had my best interests at heart (after all, what use is education in this "system of things"...I needed to focus on "meeting attendance" and recruiting more members). Over the past few years though, I have learned to push that anger aside and just let it go, since no good can come of ulcers and sleepless nights. My family still talks to me (due to not being officially DF'd), but with my cousins/uncles/aunts it is clear from the way they converse with me that they have pity for my lifestyle, which again brings up so much irony that I can barely keep from rolling on the floor laughing. When I originally made it clear that I was no longer going to attend cult meetings and wanted nothing more to do with the corporation, almost over night I lost every JW "friend" that I ever had, and even after all these years have never once heard from them (with the exception of one former close "friend" who emailed me shortly after my leave to preach and used the classic line "So, I heard you've gone all apostate"). None of this surprises me, and quite honestly I really could give a sweet monkey's ass about it, since no true friend would ever abandon someone they cared about simply based on a difference of opinion. I have since moved on and over the past 10 years have gained the friendship of people who wanted to know me, not my religious beliefs. In fact, for several of them, I couldn't even tell you what their opinion on "god" is, since it's not a topic I discuss with people who don't bring it up with me.

Nothing in my life story will seem all that surprising or extreme to most, if not all, of you since I'm sure if you belong to this forum, you've gone through the same basic plot. I was never abused in any way as a child, I know my mother did (and still does) the best she knew how to raise me in a way she KNEW would lead to the greatest life possible. In a way however, this part of the story makes things even harder to get over because I don't have anyone specific to throw the blame on. My dad went along with the BS until my parents split and he had no reason to keep pretending, and even the "elders" responsible for indoctrinating my mother and making her believe the most absurd and sometimes evil things are only doing what they believe is the right thing to do. That basically left me with two choices...let it go and get on with my life, or go to Brooklyn, shoot up "Bethel", get life (or death) in an American prison and get raped nightly (I'm not exactly the "prison" type). After a long thoughtful process, I chose A.

Anyways, I've been rambling now ever since the first sentence as there is so much to say in such a small space, but I will leave it to just say I joined this forum as a way to vent (as my wife can't possibly understand what it was actually like) and to possibly put myself out there as someone that anyone can feel free to chat up. Who knows, I may actually have some good advice to give . I hope to read many interesting topics and if anyone has any questions about me, feel free to ask below.

I too was raised in the org from birth and I think most our stories do have a common theme----some kind of emotional damage as a direct or indirect result of the org..

I can relate a lot to what you said including the missed opportunities and more concern for the KH and meetings than what was happening in the 'real world' so to speak.

You made a good point about parents and your mom especially. I too think mine did the best they knew on family. They had no idea (and still don't to a large degree) as much about the interworkings of the jws than the people who are no longer jws and take time to research them do. If they could look at it as we can see it, then they wouldn't have any part of it I'm sure.

You are fortunate at least to have left at a pretty young age. I left at 29 and don't consider that too bad overall, even though my 20's and earlier were definitely not the best time in my life...

You're right about not holding onto anger----resentment or anger won't help live for the best now. I try to live each day as good or better than the last if I can. Life throws things our way, but at least it is living life 'real' and not in the imaginary jw world. Things also do improve I've found over time if we're determined to see it get better....

Good to have you aboard with us and I look forward to more of your posts...

Welcome to the board!! I hope to hear more of your story growing up! It's always nice to compare our experiences in this religion. Feel free to rant away, type all you want, and let it all out. We've all been there, and I can tell you by experience how therapeutic it is to talk about it all. I have to agree.....you are very lucky to have escaped the religion at a young age. Congrat's to you for being mature enough at that time in your life to see the religion for what it really is. Not many are able to see that until much later in life (myself included). Me, my husband and our 2 sons all left last year. I'm 38 now, so it's hard to accept that I wasted so much of my life on this cult. But, the upside to it is that I have my kids out of that religion and they will be able to enjoy a fulfilling guilt free life! That alone is worth all the pain and torment any jw family can dish out.

Funny - I used to say this - cos my JW mother loved me very much but...........I have come to realise that 'abuse' takes many forms........and as an adult looking back on my childhood I now realise that my childhood was abusive (or maybe dysfuntional)....in that I was so lonely that I would cry most nights.........

.........so maybe that is abuse - but not as we are used to recognising it..........to witness your parent crying on your behalf,, because she realised that you were painfully lonely, through no fault of your own, simply because 'worldly' friends were forbidden.........is a real eye-opener!!

The wonderful thing is, we all speak the same 'language'........we all are trying to heal from our pasts........we all want to connect to something that makes us feel 'secure'...........yet we all realise this journey out of the mind-control is easier said than done..........

Seems like we have enough in common to reach out to each other - and sew the seeds of recovery!!

Hello and welcome Vancity.
My mother accepted the "Truth" when I was 7, so I was raised in it to an extent. I escaped some years ago and am now having a wonderful life.
On here we are all at different stages of recovery, you will have plenty of support.
I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Hugs
Karen

He there and Welcome,
I came in to the religion at the age of 20 and left at 50, so I was a bit older than you when you left. I'm 51 now. But I'm very happy to have learned the REAL truth about things.
Cacky

Our stories have a lot in common. My family are all JW's for generations.. I was also brainwashed from birth in the King Dumb hall. I stood out in the hallway in Kindergarten for the national anthem and weekly bible reading too. Not allowed any 'worldly associations' growing up. I left at about 17 years old, but it took me many more years to stop going to the assemblies and the memorial, just to try please my family. To salvage some of the relationship, if you know what I mean.

At a certain point, at about your age IIRC, I saw the whole thing clearly for the first time. I had been raised in a cult, drifted away from the cult but still felt somewhat guilty and unworthy over my choice for about 15 years ! Yet I could not see it for what it was, still I thought of myself as a closet JW, or lapsed JW! Unbelievable how powerful their brainwashing can be, especially when coupled with the 'conditional love' thing, whereby your own family disown you rather than admit to their parishioners that they associate with unbelievers.

One day, at about age 35, I was in Port Alberni, passing through on the way to Long Beach with my wife and little kids buying stuff for camping and this weird old pioneer was working the parking lot (you know the type!), he came running up to us and pushed the Watchtower and the Awake in my wife's face and started in about the times of the end and I just cracked, lost it. Now I finally had my own family and this stupid sonofabitch was going to try to convert them and take them away from me too!

It got pretty ugly. Of course I knew all his lingo and keywords and scriptural passages and taboos and I just let him have it both barrels. After I started yelling "get behind me, Satan" he ran off. That was the day I became officially 'opposed' to the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. And I realized that I had issues that I needed to deal with too. But there was nobody around to listen, who understood what was troubling me. It's just too weird, too messed up for most people to deal with.

Here, in this group there are many that left the cult as young adults, and have had to live with the fallout for the rest of our lives. Some of us need some help with our issues, some are just here to help others, and some of us belong to both camps.

Welcome again, you are among friends here. I might even be your neighbour, if your sig matches your location.

Thanks for the welcome everyone, it's nice to talk with people that actually understand what it's like to be part of a cult like the JW's. My wife is incredibly intelligent (her IQ is of a genius level), so she finds it hard to understand why someone would fall into the beliefs that my mom and my dad's side of the family are involved with. That being said, she also has been very curious to know what kind of things are taught at the KH, but thankfully is too creeped out to go there in person. She has read certain publications that my mother has mailed to us, most notably the "Evolution" book (which pissed her off so much she ripped it up...lol) and based on her readings and my mom's preaching, she has reached the conclusion that JW's are just nutty (which I can't really argue with). The good news is that there is zero chance she will ever be interested in joining cults like this, so thankfully I won't have to deal with a divided marriage in the future.