Jack's Frozen Pizza

Friday, May 8, 2009

Jack's Frozen Pizza is SO fucking good. People talk shit about it and say it's no good. I beg to differ. I eat this shit all the time. It's fucking delicious. I only eat the plain cheese ones. Sometimes the store by me doesn't have just cheese, so I get the pepperoni (above) or the half-cheese/half-pepperoni one and just pick off the pepperoni - no big deal. I've eaten hundreds of them over the years. For the best results (and believe me, I speak from experience), I've found that if you put it in the oven at 425 for about 13 minutes, then give it a half-turn, and cook it for another 3 minutes then check it again (maybe another half-turn -- use your best judgment), and then check again once a minute until the cheese in the middle is just starting to brown. Let it cool a little unless you want to burn the shit out of the roof of your mouth. You may be tempted to pre-heat the oven like the directions say. DO NOT! Pre-heating the oven is a bullshit waste of time. Oh yeah, you'll want to put it on a good pizza pan, one that will allow for proper heat circulation and ultimately a crisp crust. Best served with a cold can of Molson Canadian and an episode of Jeopardy!.

If you have any Jack's Frozen Pizza stories to share, please leave them in the comments.