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Blinding Boy Bits

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Male grooming. We were delighted when they started shaving their chest and tweezing their unibrows. We begrudgingly allowed them to do the odd sunbed and steal some of our fake tan when needed. We even braved the man eyeliner for god sake. But I can honestly admit that I am truly terrified of the next step I hope only a minority of men will take. It’s a big bejewelled glittering penis and it’s coming our way. Introducing the male version of a vajazzle: the pejazzle.

For those of you manly men that are reading this and shaking to the core but can’t look away, I will explain the nitty gritty details as painlessly as I can. A pejazzle followed from the female vajazzle, which is basically a decoration of a woman’s nether regions with nice pretty crystals. The trend became massive after it was seen on TOWIE, and no, I’m not obsessed with the show. Most commonly used are the Swarovski crystals, which Essex lad Mark Wright is supporting and launching his male version of designs.

If any man is outrageous enough to go ahead and attempt this, you my good man are a brave one. Make sure to prep the area first, as in shave it and then clean it with the provided alcohol wipe. We don’t want any sticky bits getting caught in any hairy bits now do we? Then simply peel off the design (a pair of lips or a cross – whichever makes you feel well hard man) and stick. Congratulations, you now have your very own disco ball for night time when the lights go out.

Granted there are no harmful side effects from this beauty treatment, and it can be done either professionally or at home. So technically there is nothing stopping men from flooding salons nationwide to bling their bits. As the spokesperson for this development, and self-confessed pejazzeler, Mark Wright said “each to their own”. He’s absolutely right, if any man gets a pejazzle he will most definitely be on his own. Or at least until the diamanté’s fall off.

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