Developing a sense of my own
self-worth hasn't been easy. And becoming infected with HIV is part of
the price I've paid for not having it earlier.... When I think of the most
tragic parts of my life, hearing such homophobic messages ranks with
learning that I was HIV-positive, and it contributed to my low
self-esteem. Deep inside I was dying, and even though I tried to act
strong, the pressures got to me. Afraid of being called faggot
or sissy--and not realizing the ramifications for others or myself--I
began living a lie and dating a very sweet girlfriend.

I battled my
sexuality and sexual identification, unaware that impersonating others
would lower my sense of self-worth. had low self-esteem and
engaged in risky behavior, whether unprotected sex, excessive drinking
or drugs. I wanted to feel the love and acceptance that I should have
felt while growing up. Sadly, I found it too late: I was diagnosed as
HIV-positive in 2006. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone; six of my friends
also tested positive. Only three of us are living today. I think of my
friends often--living and deceased--as I consider how much life has
changed.

Justin, who recently married his partner, also shares his journey to self-esteem and living positive on HIV+ME, the LOGO series hosted by Ongina Ryan from RuPaul's Drag Race (above). It's an amazing story and Justin should be applauded for his honesty and empowering message. Read the full essay at BAW and watch the clip AFTER THE JUMP ...

14 April 2010

Toni Braxton debuts the new music video for her single "Make My Heart". The track is destined to be a clubbanger especially because the Billie Woodruff-directed video is a love letter to black and Latino LGBT youth. It fuses the vintage "house" music club scene of the 80s to the ballroom scene of the 90s and 00s.

Atlanta-based Darian Aaron describes it as this year's "gayest video" next to Lady GaGa's "Telephone":"Toni looks absolutely amazing in this video and it's clearly obvious this heavy dance track is targeting her gay fans. There's plenty of voguing, duck walking, dipping, and spinning as Toni and the kids serve it."

29 November 2009

Bebe Zahara Benet, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race, releases her new video for the anthemic "I'm The Shit". Bebe serves it to the children, pays homage to Ru and amps up volume on the nasty. Can't wait to hear the Peter Rauhofer remixes and love the Ferrari red metallic dress. Watch AFTER THE JUMP.

30 June 2009

A very fabulous Bebe Zahara Benet pulls up to the bumper in a new feature in the July issue ofPaper, the New York City-based fashion-forward lifestyle bible (Note: Feature not online yet.). Bebe, of course, was born in the Cameroon as Nea Marshall Kudi and worked as a male model in Paris until he was asked to switch genders at a show due to a missing female model. "Bebe" was born and the rest is history: She was crowned the winner of RuPaul's Drag race on LOGO.

Bebe talks at length about the oppressive atmosphere in some African nations that makes its difficult for LGBT youth: "Ideas we take for granted here, like celebrating individuality and being rewarded for it, are not popular ones in many parts of Africa. I had to come all the way to the U.S, to know who I am and express it with freedom."

In a recent interview with Out, Benet said: "Where I come from drag is unheard of. It’s just not possible. Do you
know how many little boys and girls are sitting there and want to
artistically express themselves and don’t have the opportunity to just
because the culture says 'A is A and B is B'?"

The film adaption of Noah's Arc—the first television series to focus on black gay characters—was nominated for Outstanding Film-Limited Release. The nod by the GLAAD Awards caught director/executive producer Patrik-Ian Polk by surprise when he was contacted this morning by Rod 2.0. "I am completely shocked!" Polk tells Rod 2.0. "We've never been nominated for a GLAAD Award before, so it was a pleasant surprise."

The awards season has been especially kind to Polk. Two weeks ago the 40th NAACP Image Awards nominees were announced and Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom was one of several nominees that featured black gay characters or content, Jasmyne Cannick reported. This week Polk was given a third nod for Outstanding Direction. "The NAACP Image Awards are such a staple of mainstream Black America, that I never really fathomed a gay black wedding movie like Noah's Arc would be recognized by them," the director tells Rod 2.0. "So this is pretty cool to be included in their Independent Motion Picture category. And then to be nominated for Writing and Directing- I'm still pinching myself."

The recognition by the veteran black civil rights organization means greater visibility for black gay men and lesbians in the black community. Polk says, "I've been watching the Image Awards my entire life! My grandparents watched that show. Will [Smith], Denzel [Washington] and Halle Berry win these things. And now, there's just a fraction of a possibility that I, an openly gay black man, might have a chance to accept a major award like that in front of a live national TV audience. I don't usually put that much focus on awards ... but for us in our community, this would be big."

17 November 2008

Excellent news to start the week. Mike Survillon, the abtastic narrator and one of the co-stars of Logo’s gay-basketball reality seriesShirts & Skins, will reportedly play professional basketball. Outsports reports the newly-out player "received an offer from the ABA’s San Francisco Rumble",which played the gay amateur Rock Dogs team in the first episode of the series.

Cyd Zeigler writes: "This has long been the way experts have believed one of the four major sports leagues would have its first openly gay active player: An out player would simply be too good to pass up either in a draft or as a free agent."

Survillon becomes "the second openly gay male professional basketball player" in the United States. The first was Survillion’s Rock Dogs teammate, DeMarco Majors, who played on "the ABA’s Hawaii team even while he was training for the Gay Games" where he won gold. Clik magazine profiled Demarco's ABA career.

This is a beautiful thing. When we reviewedShirts & Skins, you'll recall we wanted to hear more about his aspirations to play professional ball. Openly gay former basketball player John Amaechi gave some good advice to Survillon, who also said he wanted "to be an influence on those who are not out" and a role model for black gay youth and athletes. Mike Survillon is definitely a draft pick in more ways than one.

The best news after watching the first two episodes of Shirts & Skins is that the show does not overdose the shirtless mancandy and faux drama that has become standard operating procedure on many gay-themed reality shows. But more than any other reason, Shirts & Skins should be required viewing because the majority of the cast are black and it can serve as role models for young black gay men who are starved for positive images.

Shirts & Skins follows the players, manager and coach of the San Francisco-based Rock Dogs. Most gay sports fans are familiar with the Rock Dogs—the team has literally dominated gay hoops for two decades and won more gold at the Gay Games than any other basketball team. The series follows the relatively new roster of players who have rented a trendy loft in San Francisco as they practice and train for the National Gay Basketball Association championship in Chicago. Oh, and for bonus points, design queens will enjoy the exposed brick and frosted shower glass in the renovated loft.

From a strictly dramatic point of view the standout character is Jamel Lewis who is nicknamed "Jamonce" for his devotion to all things Beyonce Knowles. Jamel is a fierce basketball competitor who is part Karamo Brown and part Alex from Noah's Arc. (With blue contact lenses. Gurlll.) Jamel also claims to be "saved". At the outset of the first episode Jamel claims being gay "is a choice" and he "doesn't get hard" when he sees a hot man. Interesting. This would be remotely believable if he didn't perform bootylicious dance moves in the shower and advise others on how to "get a man." Jamel's professed new beliefs create major conflict with the team and the story arc should continue throughout the series..

Mike Survillion narrates the show and is newly out. "I am still going this whole transition," he tells he teammates. "I want to tell people but I don't know how they will react." (Umm, obviously everyone will know after tonight.) Mike is concerned with how his friends and family will react but doesn't want to hide his sexuality. "I want to be an influence on those who are not out," he says in the second episode. Good for him. The abtatstic hottie is also one of the resident eye candy magnets of the show, regularly stripping down to his boxer briefs and soaping up in the shower.

Duane Cramer, the ridiculously talented photographer, lenses the still photos and the poster for the much-anticipated theatrical sequel to the cult series. "It's definitely an extraordinary shoot," Cramer says. "You have two black gay men getting married in a full length feature film that will be released nationally. The timing is right. It's all about love. It's all about showing the world ... black same gender loving people deserve to be married like anyone else."

16 June 2008

President George W. Bush receives a royal welcome in London as an estimated 2,500 demonstrators rallied in Parliament Square. "A few pelted officers with placards and tried to breach a police cordon set up to block them from getting near Downing Street, where Bush arrived for a private dinner with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown" and conservative media tycoon Rupert Murdoch.

06 June 2008

Good news and bad news about the long-rumored and much-anticipated film version of "Noah's Arc", the cult favorite black gay relationship series that debuted on LOGO. Bad news first: Out actor Wilson Cruz will not appear in the movie. The good news: Actor, model and "it boy" Jensen Atwood returns as Wade. After Elton's Brian Jurgens goes behind-the-scenes at taping of the first ever LOGO NewNowNext Awards and says show creator Patrik-Ian Polk and Atwood "chatted about the upcoming Noah's Arc movie, in which Jensen appears, it was revealed for the first time, an exclusive preview of which will be premiered during the Awards broadcast."

Oh, and it's still very murky on the format of the 'movie.' Will this be MFTV, theatrical or perhaps DVD? No answers so far, and, when we interviewed Jensen for CLIK, he had yet to be contacted by LOGO or Polk. But that was seven or eight months ago. Obviously, we'll learn more tomorrow in the awards broadcast.

The LOGO NewNowNext Awards are broadcast tomorrow Saturday June 7 at 9pm ET. The event will be hosted by Candis Cayne (of ABC's "Dirty Sexy Money") and Colman Domingo (of LOGO's "The Big Gay Sketch Show") and featureS a number of special guests and performers including Cyndi Lauper and Janet Jackson. On a personal note, LOGO extended an invitation to me to become one of the NewNowNext Academy judges. It was very flattering to be asked the serve on the nominating panel.