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Author
Topic: Pre Cum on condom (Read 8541 times)

PLEASE HELP ME...I CANT FIND MUCH INFORMATION REGARDING THE RISK LEVEL FOR THIS PRACTICE ANYWHERE

I would like to start out by saying that I am a major hypochondriac and I seem to always be anxious. But never have I been this anxious or scared. It started in February when I met this guy that i really began to like. He was really nice and we bonded great. Well, on the 25th of Feb. we were intimate with one another. There was no sex (oral or anal). The only thing we did was grinding and mutual masturbation and I really liked how this particular guy didnt even mention having intercourse. However, after he ejaculated, I used his semen as lubrication on myself and i know it came in contact with my uretha. He also gave me oral sex for about a minute or two and fingered me after he ejaculated (im not sure if any of his semen was on his fingertips or not)I feel so stupid about it now and I really regret doing that. The reason I say that is because strange things started happening after that.

Two days later, i develped a chest pain that was severe whenever I took a deep breath or laughed. I went to the doctor and he told me it was a muscle spasm probably do to stress but it could also be caused by an infection. Exactly one week after my encounter I developed a muscle ache in my lower left back area that persisted on and off for about a week. One week and two days after that, I had a mild sore throat and noticed a rash on both of my arms that was symmetrical (a little red and non-itchy). The mild sore throat thing went away after a day and over the next three days developed into a dry cough (i could feel phlegm in my lungs but didnt cough anything up). My ears were also a little blocked up on and off for a couple of days. The cough subsided in about three days. I have been pretty okay since then. Only symptoms have been a couple of headaches that i think are due to my high anxiety because im really anxious now. Also, I noticed that I have lost a couple of pounds, however, that could be due to me not eating, because i was depressed as the symptoms came on, as i was diagnosing myself with ARS. Now about 8 weeks after, i still get some minor muscle aches in the same area and my vision gets blurry from time to time (this could come from all the research i've been doin on HIV via the computer). I also dont get much sleep because I have frequent nightmares about my situation. And the rash is still here, it is also now in my inner thigh area and my lower abdomen area. I also see it under my arms. (they look a little brownish now and kind of remind me of ringworm, but they dont itch). I feel like this could be ARS, but from what im readin online, there has never been a case of HIV transmitted this way. I also would like to add that i shaved my pubic area about an hour before my encounter (if that could increase my risk any).

I contacted the guy who said he last tested negative in december for HIV. I ended up constantly talking about it, so he decided to get tested and his oraquick test came back negative (or so he said bc he lives in another city). I still kept goin on about HIV and now he has stopped talking to me. I feel alone now and i feel like this irrational fear that i have of HIV is severely impacting my social life, school work, and family life. I also got a test 6 weeks after the potential exposure and it was negative. I have called the clinic and spoke with an HIV specialist who told me that I was fine and that my risk was very low considering that was all that happened. Believe me when i say there was NO anal penetration. IM STILL FREAKING OUT THOUGH. DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT IM OK? ITS JUST I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE CAUSED MY SYMPTOMS AND BELIEVE ME I HAVE BEEN LOOKING. I plan on getting another test @ 9 and 12 wks. I also am starting counseling in a week to start helping me cope with my fears. PLEASE HELP ME GUYS....IM SO SCARED...PLEASE HELP ME ASSESS MY RISK. COULD MY SYMPTOMS BE DUE TO HIV?

Nothing you did put you at risk for hiv infection. Mutual masturbation, even when using each others cum for lube, is not a risk. Rubbing, aka frottage, is also not a risk and neither is fingering or getting a blowjob.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

i hear everything you are saying, but what i read on some other websites frightens me a bit. For example, several other websites warn against this type of behavior because they say that it introduces infectious fluids to the mucous membranes in the uretha. So, my question is, "why would these websites warn against it if it isn't a risk?".

It depends on the website. Some have a hidden moralistic agenda and they don't want anyone engaging in sexual activity outside a traditional, heterosexual marriage - and their info amounts to scare tactics. Others employ a CYA (cover your ass) policy and present theoretical risks as true risks, which they aren't.

I suggest you read our Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission lesson where you will get the real deal on real life transmission risks. Mutual masturbation isn't one of them.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

i feel a liittle better hearing that. I just have one more question for you. I went to the doctor recently and described my symptoms. He told me they were most likely due to a viral syndrome. That scared me again and when I googled "viral syndrome", once again HIV popped up. Are there any other viruses out there that can cause the exact same symptoms as those described with ARS? And can they be transmitted from the activities I described because I can't think of any other way I could've been exposed to a virus? Also, can ARS cause blocked ears because for about a month, my ears would stuff up on occasions?

When *I* googled Viral Syndrome I only found HIV mentioned twice in the first 40 or so responses. There were DOZENS of other "viral syndromes" out there.

Do your homework on some of those and keep working with your Doctor. This is an HIV site and nothing you described is in any way specific to HIV and you didn't have an HIV risk in the first place.

good luck.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

I just startred my counseling and my counselor thinks that my intense fear of HIV stems from a spiritual battle I am fighting with myself as a result of the clash between my religion and my sexuality. She says that, obviously any gay man who felt like God despised him bc of his sexuality, would fear punishment by GOD with HIV.

But Andy, I see that you say a 13 week test is conclusive. But, since you guys feel that I had no SIGNIFICANT risk, is it okay for me to relax with my 6 week negative result, or should I wait for another one at 13 weeks?

But Andy, I see that you say a 13 week test is conclusive. But, since you guys feel that I had no SIGNIFICANT risk, is it okay for me to relax with my 6 week negative result, or should I wait for another one at 13 weeks?

I and everyone else here would say you had NO risk (not "no significant risk"). No risk for HIV, better chance of winning the lottery, whether you bought a ticket or not. And your 6 week negative result, merely reinforces that everyone here has already given you correct information.

Do the math with this fact in mind, almost all people who seroconvert do so in less than 4 weeks.

You had no risk for HIV infection X you had a negative 6 week result= you are conclusively negative.

Recently, I engaged in sexual activity with a guy. While we were together, the guy gave me a blowjob and was sucking quite fiercely. Also, afterwards, we began to engage in frottage. Basically, all that happened was that he was thrusting against my anus. There was NO penetration, but he DID try to enter me about three times. I repeatedly refused to have sex because I dont want to worry about HIV. I am a bit of a hypochondriac. My question is, should I be worried about this event. I am figuring that HIV transmission MIGHT occur if some of his pre-cum got inside of my anus when he was trying to slide his penis in. I have had anal sex before so I KNOW the difference between penetration and frottage. Should I be worried about this event enough to the point that I need to be tested? I dont think it was all that risky, but I thought I'd ask the experts.

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection and no penetration = no risk.

You might like to think about making sure you have a condom handy for occasions like this. You don't need to fear hiv when condoms are used and used correctly. Check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Use condoms and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Almost two weeks ago I participated in anal sex as the bottom. It was protected, but prior to sex my partner had the condom on inside-out. I suggested getting another, but he stressed there was nothing to worry about and correctly placed the condom. My fears are that there may have been pre cum on the outside of the condom after it was reversed.

Now, a week and 3 days since the sex, I feel a tingling sensation in my lymph nodes on the left side of my neck. I also feel a dull pain in my right leg. No other symptoms thus far.

Help, I'm going crazy thinking I may be infected from this incident. My partner says he's negative and we've always used condoms, but you never truly know what someone else is doing 24-7.

Please advise me on if it's okay for me to relax after this sexual encounter.

You must keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

A week ago, I hooked up with a guy off a dating app for sex. Upon arriving at his place, I asked him if he was clean and he said yes. He also had the lube and condoms on his bed, so I took it he made preparations to ensure we were safe. I'm also very adamant about safe sex, 100% of the time.

We proceeded to have sex with a condom and took a small break. I was the receptive partner (bottom). He went to the bathroom to clean off the condom and we started again when he came back. After a few minutes, he came and then started to withdraw. After he pulled out, I glanced at the condom and noticed it was still covering his penis head with fecal matter. However, I didn't see his semen held in place at the tip as I have in the past. Usually, you will see it handing from the condom once done. After we cleaned, I asked was the condom OK and he responded "yes" and that there was fecal matter on it. I'm a bit of a worrier, but now I'm starting to wonder if semen leaked from the condom inside my anus. I would think if the condom broke, we would have both noticed it right? Could he have poked a pinhole or something in it when he went to the bathroom? Maybe my imagination is running here. I hear that condom ruptures are very obvious and that it not a small pinhole or something. What is my HIV risk here? I thought I took all necessary precautions to be safe.

You been repeatedly warned not to post outside of this thread no matter how long its been since you posted or subject matter . If you do it again you will be given a 28 time out or banned . There has been some changes since you were here last so read the posting guide at the top of this page .

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

If the condom broke you would have known it . We were not there to know what happened so only you can know if you had an exposure or not . Judging from your post I don't think you did and are just being paranoid . If you are uneasy then go test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the result .

Sorry Jeff that I did not continue in my original thread. A general question though: Shouldn't the semen hang at the tip of the condom once he pulls out? I'm pretty sure the condom stayed intact but my concern is where did the semen go.

Sorry Jeff that I did not continue in my original thread. A general question though: Shouldn't the semen hang at the tip of the condom once he pulls out? I'm pretty sure the condom stayed intact but my concern is where did the semen go.

Condoms are designed in such a way as the leave no doubt when they fail so I doubt that is what happened . Like I said before ... the most we can do is give you the facts and we have done that so if you are uneasy then go test just for peace of mind sake only.

Okay, I searched the threads for similar posts and I'm seeing that it's VERY obvious when a condom break occurs. However, I saw one post where Ann mentioned that she experienced one where the tip of the condom was ragged afterwards. Any clarity on what this means? I'm concerned that this was the case in my situation. Like I said, the condom was still covering his penis in entirety but I didn't see the semen deposit. I'm thinking either my top didn't ejaculate much or the condom broke.

Condoms are designed in such a way as the leave no doubt when they fail so I doubt that is what happened . Like I said before ... the most we can do is give you the facts and we have done that so if you are uneasy then go test just for peace of mind sake only.

Okay, I searched the threads for similar posts and I'm seeing that it's VERY obvious when a condom break occurs. However, I saw one post where Ann mentioned that she experienced one where the tip of the condom was ragged afterwards. Any clarity on what this means? I'm concerned that this was the case in my situation. Like I said, the condom was still covering his penis in entirety but I didn't see the semen deposit. I'm thinking either my top didn't ejaculate much or the condom broke.

We have no idea what happened and as Jeff already told you, you can test if you are unable to accept that you had no risk. Rephrasing and guessing what happened will do nothing for you. Since you are so concerned about this incident, get a test and collect your negative result.

Thanks guys for the reassuring comments. I'm still having major anxiety and my sex partner won't respond to my efforts to contact him. He has even blocked my phone number. Since I noticed the condom was still covering his penis after his withdrawl, can I assume that the sex was safe until I get beyond the window period? I just can't get beyond the idea of there being some teeny weenie hole in the condom tip that I failed to notice. I don't know if I can make it another 5 weeks with this anxiety.

I do not not blame him from blocking you, what you are doing is harassment over illogical unfounded fears and he probably thinks you are nuts and is scared of you at this point . You have no right to ask another person to test for HIV . I'm sorry that you are having problems but we cant do a thing to ease your anxiety except for giving you the facts . You didn't see a condom with a hole it and he didn't either so cut the drama and get on with your life .

Hello moderators! I'd like a risk assessment on an encounter I had a few nights ago. Basically, I was looking for some sexual gratification as I hadn't had any since a few weeks ago. However, I know I am a bit of a hypochondriac so I knew I didn't want to engage in full-on anal sex to prevent worrying afterwards. Anyhow, I meet a local guy online and he comes over to my place. After talking for 30 minutes or so, we start making out. In a nutshell, I gave him unprotected oral sex (with no ejaculation) and he rimmed me.

My concern is that after he rimmed me, he attempted to enter me bareback as I lay stomach flat on the floor. I felt his penis head pushing against my anus, which felt good. However, as he continued to push I started to feel that uncomfortable pressure like he was about to get inside me. I felt no pain, and sat up to stop things from going further. What also scares me is that he wanted to go bareback and when I asked why considering he barely knows me, he concluded that he trusted me. I told him that I didn't want to have sex. We continued with frottage and his penis ended up pushing against my anus about 2 more times from which I then said let's change positions. He then sat in a chair and I sat down from over him so my anus could touch the tip of his penis head. I did this maybe 3-4 times to somewhat simulate actual sex and prevent actual penetration from occurring. We then simply masturbated because he felt I was teasing him, which I honestly wasn't trying to do.

Based on posts I've read, I'm not too concerned about the oral sex I gave. But I am concerned about the frottage. He had quite a thick penis, so I'm sure I would've felt pain had his penis head penetrated me, but I'm worried some pre cum may have entered me in his attempts to have bareback sex with me. I've read posts about "dipping", which I've never heard of before and now I'm fearing a small portion of the tip of his penis head could've gotten in. Again, I felt no pain at all but my anus was wet from his spit during the early rimming.

Can you assess my risk here? I know I have some bad anxiety and worry a lot, and I think I'm going to seek some professional help. But, should I be fearing hiv infection from this encounter? I did ask the guy about his status, and he claims he is negative. However, I don't trust his word much considering he was OK with having bareback sex with me. I'm just worried if he could've slightly "dipped" me up to the point I felt the pressure. Once again, I'm in a position again where this incident is all I think of throughout the day. Thanks again for all you do! Your knowledge in this area is commendable.

We have answered this question before for you but I will address it again . If you were not penetrated it was not a risk and if you were it is a risk . We were not there so only you can know the truth . If you were penetrated without a condom go get tested at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results .

You are certainly correct. I did ask this same question before previously. Due to his penis girth and me not feeling pain, I will assume he did not penetrate. I've read similar posts and the responses seem to hint that, even with slight penetration, the risk is not HIGH.

I'm so tired of stressing myself out over these encounters. I'm just gonna avoid sexual relations from here on out. I can barely eat or sleep and frankly I'm tired of this worrying.

I'm so tired of stressing myself out over these encounters. I'm just gonna avoid sexual relations from here on out. I can barely eat or sleep and frankly I'm tired of this worrying.

da,

Here's another solution for you - BUY SOME CONDOMS. Next time you have an encounter, have two or three with you and tell your trick that either he uses them for any anal activity, or nothing is going to happen between you.

Make sure you also have plenty of water based lube on hand (and on condom-covered cock and you can also put some on your anus), and make sure there is no trapped air in the tip when he puts it on. These two things will prevent breakage.

Condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv infection when used correctly (plenty of lube and no trapped air) and consistently. So wise up and just start having them and lube handy during your encounters instead of running to us every time a trick gets his dick near your hole. OK?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann. I will definitely keep your suggestions in mind for future reference. I really think a lot of this has to do with my anxiety and hypochondria as well. My nerves are shot right now.

Based on the summary of my last encounter, how would you rank my risk level? I understand that you weren't there, but others posters in similar situations were told they had little to no risk. Again, I know for certain his whole penis head didn't get in, as his penis (including the head) was very thick and I didn't feel the initial fullness & pain I always feel upon initial insertion. But, I know for sure he was pressing against my anus with the intention of condom-less sex. I also don't know if there was any pre-cum. As I obsess about this now, its difficult to tell whether or not he actually penetrated me.

It does not sound like you were penetrated or you would have known it . We cant offer anymore than to say if you are not certain then go test . You already know what we are going to tell you about this as you have been through this before so if you will be honest with yourself you will see that this is your HIV phobia that's compelling you to come here and post again to hear the same things you have been told before .We encourage you to talk to your therapist and doctor about this because they can offer you the help that we cant address .