Saturday, March 5, 2011

50 Facts About Russians

*Disclaimer - some of the people reading this are humourless douchebags. While nothing on this planet can change the fact that these idiots continue to post comments here after reading (barely) and not understanding this post, I can at least offer a warning that THESE ARE NOT REAL FACTS!!! Morons. Now, enjoy!

1: Russians distrust anything cheap.

2: The English word "bargain" can not be adequately translated into Russian.

3: Although Russians distrust anything with a cheap price, they are fine with freebies.

4: A Russian who reaches high levels of power feels it his his/her duty to put down those who don't.

5: In Russia you need to call the lazy waitresses over by aggressively yelling "Girl!"

6: One needs skills in hitting people with your elbows on the Moscow Metro.

7: In Russia you can drink beer on a park bench without getting arrested.

8: Russians gather in the kitchen and stay up very late, talking about "life".

9: Russians usually avoid talking about work.

10: During any reception in Russia people are immediately separated by gender.

11: There are a lot of police in Russia, most of whom do nothing.

12: Russians never throw anything away. Ever.

13: However, if Russians throw out half of their things, nobody notices.

14: A Russian stranger is likely to call you with familiarity, like "man" or "woman".

15: Russians don't usually say "please" or "thank you".

16: The Russian proverb "Arrogance - the second happiness" cannot be adequately translated into English.

17: Russians drink a lot of vodka. It's not a myth.

18: You don't have to fear for your life when walking the streets in Moscow alone at night.

19: Russian men are convinced that feminism has led to the collapse of the West, and Russia's historical mission: resist.

20: A myth within a myth: Russians believe that Americans believe that bears walk the streets in Moscow, but this myth of a myth is a purely Russian invention. Americans actually believe all the bears in Russia are dead.

21: Russians simply do not understand it when a foreigner from the west applies for permanent residence in Russia.

22: Dentists are very surprised when people show up for a "routine" check-up. So are doctors.

23: Russians drink tea with a centimetre of sugar on the bottom of the cup.

24: All Russians, from young to old, abuse emoticons.

25: The number of brackets in an email or sms infers the importance of a message. For instance - Birthday party tonight ) means a birthday party, but Birthday party tonight )))))) means a fantastic blow-out extravaganza.

26: Moscow has the best subway system in the world.

27: Despite having the best subway system in the world, there are millions of Muscovites who refuse to ever take it, and spend half their lives stuck in traffic.

28: A Russian will use the slightest reason to bring everyone gifts of chocolate. "It's your birthday in four and a half months? Wow! Chocolate for the entire office!"

29: Anyone who speaks a language other than Russian is automatically suspect.

30: On New Year's, don't surprised if you are invited out at 11:30 pm, drink champagne and cognac until 6 am, eat herring under a fur coat and olivia salad in a kitchen, and then party in a flat for three more days.

31: The only alcohol-free zones in Russia are McDonalds.

32: Smiling for no reason makes Russians angry.

33: Borscht, cabbage rolls and pirogies are actually Ukrainian.

34: Russians don't send their elderly to nursing homes or make their children leave after 18; instead they all live together in the same 1-bedroom flat.

35: Despite the small roads and the frustrating traffic jams, Russians still buy giant SUVs.

36: Sushi is more popular in Russia than in Japan.

37: In fact, Japan is more popular in Russia than in Japan.

38: Russians are extremely friendly if they've known you for more than ten minutes. If you've known a Russian for at least a week, you will be invited to meet their family.

39: Russians are also extremely emotional and passionate, and although they don't show emotion in public, they cry and laugh and shout and play more than Italians.

40: Russians care more about the philosophical side of living than the material, and have a folk song for every situation.

41: Most Russians are very superstitious, and new-age superstitions are en vogue.

42: Russians are passionate lovers, and will quarrel like bitter enemies and make out like porn stars in public.

43: Russians love to criticsize their own country, but will be offended if a foreigner does.

44: If a cashier manages to not break anything while scanning your items, they have provided good customer service.

45: Russians love McDonald's, KFC, Subway and Burger King more than Americans.

46: Russians spoil their kids rotten, and then magically expect them to behave responsibly at the age of 18.

47: Although Russians eat more fast food than people in the west, Russians are still healthier.

48: Russians cannot do anything that requires putting a car in reverse. It can take the average Russian driver ten minutes to parallel park (I've seen it countless times).

Correction to No 16. It's not arrogance. Impudence is more like it, if you meant "Наглость - второе счастье", saying which means that an impudent person lead an easier life, since he or she don't bother patiently waiting for something or doing thing according to the regs, they simply yell. And to get rid of them, they're provided with whatever they want fast, while others wait.

atethepaint, how did you get a visa? Ever since the government put in the "90 out of 180 days" requirement on one-year visas, you have to go through a more official channel to get a work visa and/or residency permit. How did you get over the hurdles?

as a woman, i'll say that i actually feel safer walking the streets of moscow at night than san diego. i think what makes it feel less sketchy is the fact that there are always a good amount of people out and about here.

Thanks everyone for commenting. Safety in Russia for this post wasn't based on statistics, hence the word "feels". I'm sure if I were a journalist writing about Russian war crimes in Chechnya, it wouldn't feel as safe. As for #50, thanks for clarifying that. I can say that I feel safer in Moscow than in New York, London or even Toronto!

I spent my first year in Russia as a teacher on a valid work visa, and my second year as a student on a student visa (although this is the more expensive route).

I've been living in Piter for the past 3.5 years, and have been attacked twice when returning from work at 6 in the morning (I am a DJ). One time of which caused bleeding of the brain and put me in the hospital. That being said, like Rhea, I am also from California and can't help but share the feeling that Russia can be quite safe... if you don't become too comfortable in it. The fact that in Piter, while not Moscow, still has some 7 million people, it's comforting to know that there are people awake and around at nearly every hour. In Sacramento, you always held a fear of who could be hiding in the shadows of every lifeless street throughout the 2am-6am hours.

Well done! As a Russian who's married to an American I'm very impressed by your observations. I just read some of these facts out loud to my husband and we both laughed at how true some of them are. Thank you!

Your post had been reviewed by Goblin, notorious sovietic and stalinistic internet-guru, famous for his mems like "cherenok" (ban-hammer), "skolko tebe let" (how old are you) and many more, for strong anti-piracy views and for great number of followers ("goblinoids").http://oper.ru/news/read.php?t=1051608664

Goblin is studied in the Scientific Research Institute of Gurulogy and Parasitologyhttp://puchok-goblinov.livejournal.com/Researches found that despite of public sovietism and anti-Western discurses, he is quiet delight by luxury lifestyle and visiting western countries.

>7: In Russia you can drink beer on a park bench without getting arrested.You won't be arrested. You'll be bothered by a cop who'll threaten (legitimate) arrest attempting to extract a bribe.

>5: In Russia you need to call the lazy waitresses over by aggressively yelling "Girl!">15: Russians don't usually say "please" or "thank you".(1) "Devushka" is more like "Miss", only without the whole subservience part. "Devushka" literally means a young woman and can refer to a woman in the service industry of any age. "Devochka" (literally "girl"), when spoken of an adult, implies a sex worker or at least a hint of promiscuity. Russians subscribe to the master key theory.(2) If you're young, you're supposed to say "izvinite/excuse me" or "skazhite, pozhaluysta/tell me please" instead of "devushka".(3) If the service person wears a badge, hardly anyone uses the name anyway. If you do, the person is as likely to be FREAKED OUT as they are to be thankful for your EXTREME POLITENESS.

>22: Dentists are very surprised when people show up for a "routine" check-up. So are doctors.1. The quality of public healthcare sucks (that being said, private doctors with fake diplomas are also frighteningly common).2. A routine check-up is a bureaucratic nightmare. It will eat up at least 5 workdays, and that only if none of your doctors is vacationing, or sick, or on baby leave, or whatever. There are also shady businesses that offer 2-hour check-ups. This is the medical counterpart to a free virus-check on the internets.3. Check-ups are performed on workdays, and employers frown on people taking the time off for one. Thus, to go to a doctor, you need either to be sick or to pretend to be sick (for at least a week).4. Finally, the doctors themselves frown on healthy patients. "What's bothering you?" is a legitimate question, and if you say you're okay and are there for a routine check-up, you are told to buzz off and not clog the facilities. Checking for heartbeat ("Heartbeat: detected. You're alive. NEXT!"), blood pressure and plaque is okay; but the ultrasound is broken, the X-ray is in an authorized private center across the town, and the blood test lab is busy for the next half a year.

>23: Russians drink tea with a centimetre of sugar on the bottom of the cup.>24: All Russians, from young to old, abuse emoticons.EWWWWWW to both of these.

>34: Russians don't send their elderly to nursing homes or make their children leave after 18; instead they all live together in the same 1-bedroom flat.Housing is insanely expensive (my 3-room apartment which my dad received for free from the Soviet State, overlooking a garage and a trash disposal spot, is now priced at $1,5M), and mortgage rates are so high they might not exist. Really, 12-14%/year?Russian nursing homes are hardly better than prisons. So if your elderly relative is sound of mind, they live with you, help you around the house and watch the kids. If they aren't, you won't trust the nursing home to take care of them. Plus, it's likely you're living in *their* apartment anyway.

>31: The only alcohol-free zones in Russia are McDonalds.Bring your own vodka.Also, a popular prank is to attend an alcohol-free event and get drunk at the entrance. You enter while still sober and then the alcohol kicks in.

Laughed my head off while reading this tiny piece of crap (nothing personal))) Seems like all myths and stereotypes were carefully written and perfectly well translated including this "Girl!" and "no-Russian-equivalent-extremely-untranslatable-bargain" things. Well done!

bargain - etymol. it's a russian word "барыга"http://dic.academic.ru/searchall.php?SWord=%D0%B1%D0%B0%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%B3%D0%B0&stype=0Прибыль барыги (profit) - барышWhat's problems with russian languge? More than 30% of basic english words is russian words (maybe more). Like in "ancient" Latin, Teutonic, Old German and so on.http://en-ru.lexxspace.ru/ It's a small vocabulary, permanent addedSorry, my English is not good English

That was interesting to read and some time even fan be cause some staff you wrote are not true or not exactly right. So if you like statistics may be you could provide a small statistic about your own country I'm sure that Canada has something that is not perfect...

Maybe I and all my friends is not the real Russian, who are usually in your imagination, but I really Russian, who was born in Russia and live in Russia. More of these concepts is not correct for me and for all my Russian friends. I and all my friends do not drink alcohol. In Russia it is impossible to be rude to waiters. Russia is a civilized country. In Russia, few religious people. Communists 70 years promoted scientific atheism. Many Russians is very intelligent and well educated. Russians women have equal rights with mens. In everyday life, mens obey women. In everyday life, women are more authoritative. We good and very nice people. We do not like to be humiliated. In the subway, we do not beat each other's elbows. We are civilized white people. In Russia it is important to be polite. In Russia today really low crime. More than half of crimes are the result of the migrant-muslims. Feminism in Russia is an old phenomenon. It originated in Russia in 1917, when womens were granted equal rights with mens. First of the Communists wanted to abolish the family. But this did not happen. I'm amazed at how little you know about us, and how many people write nonsense. Sorry for my bad English.

Certain things are maybe true but most of your observations are quite shallow so far and not scientific at all, some are complete nonsense.. Maybe after 5-10 years back there your opinion would change. 143 million people simply CAN'T be the same. Be more picky when you choose people around you and might find some intelligent ones.. All people are just our mirrors. When we see something in others and don't like it or it bothers us - it means it can be found in us, too.

Everybody looks at another country, and says, "Hey, look at them dummies". People are so blind to a foreigner's circumstances. This is a universal smugness, especially among less educated, and less traveled people. Each one looks at the other accross the border through a lens of sterotypes, and sees what they want to see, which is reason to hate the other one. Conversely, the more educated you are, and the more traveled you are, the more you see the human condition for what it is. As an American, I'm always surprised how Brits think we all wear cowboy hats and drive pickup trucks, and eat nothing but hamburgers. When we all know all they do is just eat scones and drink tea, and play cricket!

Spot on! I like it! People, come on, stop being so sensitive and learn to laugh))))) and " look truth in the eyes") He is not actually saying that it applies to every single person in Russia, its called - generalizing. every single nation has its own character and those facts came really close to describing russians! I am a russian myself and a lot of the facts don't apply to me , but i can certainly say they apply to a lot of russian people! May be having lived in different countries I became a lot more open-minded, have some comparisons, talked to different kinds of people and know how generally Russia is perceived by people all over the world and this guy is talking some business))) Tоварищи) don't get offended by the above number of facts) the guy is not abusing you in any way, its just his honest observations - and I have to say very good observations))

I am obsessed with Russia, and this is the best. I'm laughing my face right of my face while reading this.I'm showing this to my friends tomorrow, thank you!(P.S) 21: Russians simply do not understand it when a foreigner from the west applies for permanent residence in Russia. I always tell my Russian friend 'You're so lucky! I want to go to Russia! I want to live there forever!' and he's like 'Why?!' and just shakes his head. LOL

I liked this a lot. There's some sense-of-humour-failure going on in some of the comments, but I really enjoyed reading it. Good job. I'm also spending an extended period of time in Russia, and while it's clear from the way you've written it that you know it's a massive stereotype and you're being tongue-in-cheek, I can absolutely see where you're coming from on most of them. And hey, what's wrong with making humorous observations about a country you're visiting? You've kept it balanced and put in plenty of positive things about Russians too, and it's entertaining. So all in all, my message is thank you for making me laugh today, and some of the other commenters need to go away and study what humour is before they comment again!

Can i just say : although your video is pretty cool ... i have no idea where you get your stats from, i am married to a Russian and i know a lot about the country and its people and a huge percentage of your facts are completely untrue.

Thank you everybody for your comments, both positive and negative. For those of you who might have been offended, please read the rest of this blog and you'll see that a lot of what I've written is sarcastic and an attempt at humour. For those of you who have no sense of humour, please don't take your personal life failures out on my blog. For those of you who "get it" (eg: that this list is pure baloney and meant to be humorous, not actual "facts"), thanks for coming out and showing that there is still intelligent life on this planet ))

>26: Moscow has the best subway system in the world.Damn, is it even worse everywhere else? %)

>27: Despite having the best subway system in the world, there are millions of Muscovites who refuse to ever take it, and spend half their lives stuck in traffic.Yes, public transport is not liked by most Russins, because many people think that metro and buses and trams are transports for losers, and even those who are not rich enough to buy a good car, buy a cheap one (an old Lada), and waste hours in traffic jams and repairing their wrecks.)

>17: Russians drink a lot of vodka. It's not a myth.Well, I think it's not a lot of vodka, but a lot of beer. Actually, I almost don't drink any alcohol at all (I'm Russian, too).

It can't be construed as humour when little of it is amusing. Most of it is factually inaccurate, and when it's broadcast to Facebook's "Moscow Russia' subscriber base, it's also leads to an insulting portrait of the country. Distinguish first from Russia (and Moscow), as I doubt you've traveled extensively throughout the country. If you had, you'd quickly note that few Russians are driving SUVs in the provinces. Even if you've not left the capital, you should've realised by now that Russian waitresses are not offended being called to service by the term 'девушка.' And lastly, in my nearly ten years living in Moscow, I've yet to find anyone who fails to say 'спасибо' following a gesture worthy of simple thanks.

Wow, some harsh critics out there... I think this is intended in jest, kind of like the how the video shows only ridiculous things happening in Russia. I'm sure there are at least a few Russians who don't drive through four feet of water. And geez, why is there so much water on the street sin Russia! ha.

Hello i am Russian and now i live in England.Some of stuff that at the top is still the some,some is not.and we are very worm,friendly piople who like's help,have lost of fun and all ather stuff.and if you wont to be friend with one of us from Russia you will have friend for life.but some of the stuff at the top is funny and like it a lot.HAHAHA

frankly, most of it is bullshit, and has a very ignorant, assuming "american-who-knows-shit-about-life-and-everything-pretending-to-be-superior" sorta tone, lol. i'm neither american nor russian, but have spent quite a few years with both as well as brits, irish, asians, scots, indians, finnish, soviet and ex-soviet groups to clearly distinguish one thing:

russians are a harsh people because of their history, and only *externally* seem like it, but when a russian considers you a friend, or finds a genuine quality in you that he/she admires, they will stick by you with mafia loyalty - meaning they'll kill for you or die for you (metaphorically speaking). an amazing people, frankly, with a much more stronger sense of family closeness, friend respecting feeling and voracious lovers (the women) in general, than any other race i've come across.

like your comment above, even though it's meant to be humourous and not offensive, it still has something about it that rings unpleasant, but what-the-hey! i don't care! just an opinion that you can happily discard! :P

I read a bit of your blog and thought I'd get in touch. I can see you discontinued your Russia blog some time ago and wondered if you fancied getting back into your writing on an ad hoc basis by contributing to my English-Russian online community - www.englishinrussia.ru

The idea of the site is to get to the truth about Russia and the West by blogging about our languages, cultures, lifestyles, etc. - comparing and contrasting, looking for similarities and differences, pluses and minuses. There are currently about 4 English guys writing for the site, but I'd like to hear the Canadian, US, and Russian take on things. I think that would provide more balance to the "community" so I'm looking for more contributors.

Each blogger gets their own personal profile page with pic, info and links to their services/work stuff. All their posts are kept separately there and all new material is aggregated on the homepage in the "What's New?" box. Bloggers contribute if/when they have time/energy and pretty much choose their own topics for articles (about 1 page on Word usually, once a week-ish).

The site gets decent hits and is making progress in the search engines. So, I can guarantee a fairly wide readership.

Drop me a line if you fancy getting involved. You can use the Contacts section on the site.

I did not know that some of these facts are really true regarding Russians. However, one thing is true about them- Russians are sweet and warm. I am dating now a Russian girl and she is the loveliest person inside and out.

I can criticize whom ever and what ever I like. I just left Russia, and most prople there are as cold as the weather. I was so happy to get back to LA and have a total stranger (LAX airport janitor )wish me a good day with a genuine concern and a SMILE!!! It made me love my country even more!)))))))))))

Havings many friends in both US and Russia I can comment that friendship means very different things to these two cultures. In the US it is far more casual and less emotionally attached. When you make friends with a Russian, it is typically a life bond. You will receive gifts, meet family, and connect on a very different level. This has been my experience many times. And yes, Russians look incredibly unfriendly at first impression...history can explain it.

Funny, thanx - I'm russian and we also often laugh at ourselves...But most of middle aged Russians are more and wider educated and friendlies than other nations - it's the legacy of Soviet education which was the best in the world.During the different technical negotiation I was often surprised on low level in elementary general knowledges of my transoceanic collocutors - all of them are a good merry and kindness guys but most of them ever didn't know where placed Sweden or Switzerland, Austria or Australia and that these aren't the same countries, they have no real knowledges about the WW II...But not about bears on the streets and snowbanks all the year, haha...Hey friends, welcome to Russia - we have a comprehensive and vigorous life here!

Russians are some of the most generous people I have ever encountered.They surely do not know how to park a car. My language teacher tried 3 times to get her car in between the white lines, came into the restaurant where I was sitting, and then walked back outside to try again.

favourites: 8: Russians gather in the kitchen and stay up very late, talking about "life".// 40: Russians care more about the philosophical side of living than the material, and have a folk song for every situation.