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Hey Jihadis

So sorry this is not the site you were probably looking for. I have analytic software which lists who visits here by what search terms are used.

Still, make yourself at home. Please take a load off, provided it does not go boom. I find you guys somewhat distasteful, but I'll give you a pat on the back (if you are not wearing one of those special vests) for your equality in suicide operations.

It is refreshing to see that in this one action, you actually allow females to participate. How very early 20th century of you all. . .

Tim Tebow and the Broncos just won a a hard-fought game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. And the above talking-heads, all of whom I like, were Tebowing in the post-game show. I think it is in good fun, but they may be mocking him too.

Of course, when you are as public as Tim is, you may be opening yourself up to this sort of thing. And the above guys are copying the outside actions without the inside heart. Maybe, possibly. But who am I to know their hearts?

It is a good thing, I think. Even if Bill Cowher looks like the Thinker.

Are you ready for the super-big NFL game looming between the Steelers and the Broncos? Unfortunately for the terrible toweled, one of the Steelers’ stars is going to sit out this Sunday:

Ryan Clark sat down in Mike Tomlin’s office and did something a little out of character for the normally verbose Pittsburgh Steelers safety. He listened.

And when Tomlin told Clark he couldn’t play in Sunday’s wild card game at Denver because of a sickle-cell trait that becomes aggravated when playing at higher elevations, Clark just shrugged his shoulders and nodded.

Ryan Clark, Pittsburgh Steelers Safety

Ryan had some blood-work done this week and it yielded surprising results. I had a spy in the lab and got some advance intel. Fresh from under the microscope, here’s an actual picture of the bloody slide:

People who inherit one sickle cell gene and one normal gene have sickle cell trait. That’s compared to people who inherit one sickle cell gene from each parent, who may get sickle cell anemia, the most severe form of sickle cell disease.

People with the trait usually do not have the symptoms of sickle cell disease, but they might experience complications of the disease, such as pain crises, which occur when the sickled cell becomes stuck in the blood vessel, causing painful swelling. In rare cases, people with the trait can face harm when they’re dehydrated, in an atmosphere with increased pressure – like when scuba diving – or when they are in areas with high altitude and low oxygen.

Stay healthy, Ryan. Since it is not quite the Super Bowl, but still a very important game, fans (well, one fan, me) have taken to calling it the Super Soy Sauce Bowl. You know, one of these tiny things:

This Saturday, tomorrow, is the Big Game. Not the big game, but the Big Game. Between UC Berkeley and #8 Stanford. To be played down on the Farm, with the Tree-like things/Cardinals three touchdown favorites. The facts and nothin’ but the facts:

The adage about rivalry games, such as Cal’s game at Stanford on Nov. 19, is that anything can happen, regardless of the teams’ records.

History suggests that adage is not particularly accurate, however, because the better team, the team with the better record, usually wins. And Cal (6-4) would have to play its best game of the season by far to have a shot at upsetting the Cardinal in the traditional contest known as the “Big Game.”

Stanford is about a three-touchdown favorite, and oddsmakers probably don’t consider the fact that Cal’s defense, which has been outstanding in home games, for some reason disappears on the road.

Do you know anything about the players involved? If you are not an alum of either school, you may may may know of the Stanford quarterback. He is somewhat leprechaunish in his appearance, despite being a 6-footer. You be the judge:

The Geico Caveman (left) and Andrew Luck (right), both Stanford graduates, School of Forestry

Word on Telegraph Avenue is that Mr. Luck shaved off his beard. Strange. He appeared rather of fond of it and even called it by name:

“I’m hesitant to call it a beard. I don’t think it’s quite there yet. I don’t know. I’d never done it before, so why not try. We’ll see if it lasts. When I get annoyed of it, I’ll shave it.”

“I figured, why not try it? I don’t have to be presentable in college. That’s a rule, right?”

The lucky Mr. Luck is projected as a first round pick and, quite possibly, as the first pick in next year’s draft. In other Quarterbacky news, Mr. Tim Tebow, of Tebowing fame, pulled off another one last night:

Tim Tebow Pointing to Heaven

He is positively making a name for himself with fourth quarter comebacks. His Broncos beat the Jets, 17-13. And they are 4-1 with him as a starter. Tim needs to give Luck some basic beard maintenance training. Another case of the Bronco teaching the Tree.

I am driving onto base. A civilian stands with a clipboard, waiting for me to pull up. He checks my ID and salutes. I narrow my eyes. Did he really just do that? Salute with his left hand? Grimacing, I salute back. He is a civvie after all.

Eric Decker, Broncos, Saluting the Troops

Another salute story gone wrong? A Denver Bronco, Eric Decker, popped off a salute in honor of the troops this last weekend.

Him and his fellow Broncs were in a dog-fight of a game and he wanted to render honors. So he dropped to one knee and rogered off a quickie after scoring a touchdown on a 56-yard huck from Tim Tebow. One tiny problem, league rules forbid celebrating from the ground. And one knee constitutes the ground:

Rules truly are rules in the NFL. To the league’s credit, they don’t allow exceptions. . . Eric Decker got a taste of that on Sunday when he dropped to one knee and saluted the American veterans, which of course was against the rules because he went to the ground to celebrate.

Um Mr. Decker, you were a Minnesota Golden Gopher, right? That is, you played wide receiver in the Big-10 (or whatever it might be known as by the time you read this)? Surely you had a ROTC program at that venerable establishment. Or perhaps, you’ve watched movies of military folks saluting?

Eric Decker

We love the military love over here, but let’s work on getting the correct hand involved. In America, we salute with our right hand. Not our left.

Also, you look a little too Chris Columbus off the Florida Keys, sighting land. (Florida Keys, not historically accurate, but literarily – not literally – more vibrant than the actual locale.) Less Dora the Explorer and more Colonel Nathan Jessup next time, please.

Not Eric Decker

In a not-so-completely random connection, when I was deployed to that sandy paradise us Navy folk like to refer to as not home, Kid rocked it up and down our block. For a USO-ish visit.

And Rock brought several other miscreants along for his military tour, folks like the comedian Carlos Mencia and a young almost-country singer by the name of Jessie James.

Jessica Jessie James

Lil’ Jessie was talented. She now goes by the more serious name Jessica James. Good choice. Lose the outlaw, maybe gain an in-law. . .

So why would I mention the young lass? According to wikipedia, she is dating no other than Chris Columbus Eric Decker, the serial mis-saluter.

Since when did wikipedia start tracking the dating life of the starry set? I shudder for the poor squirrel in charge of editing Warren Beatty’s or Madonna’s entry. (In a stunning display of statistics, both actually dated each other! Which is not how I came up with their names. My thought: who is the biggest male getter around’her? And the biggest female get’her arounder? Answer: Warren and Oh Donna.)

Dora the Explorer

Jessica James is clearly patriotic. She toured the mid-east after all. With Mr. Rock (the musician, not the wrestler-turned-method-actor.)

Please, no one tell Jessica that her wide deceiver boyfriend can’t salute. Truly, we forgive him. As already stated, us in the military love the love.

Final score of the game, Denver Broncos 17 – Kansas City Chiefs 10. Deep thought: what are Chiefs doing in Kansas City anyway? There’s no Navy base for miles. Dunkin’ Donuts, on the other hand.

Let’s talk Denver Broncos, more specifically, their quarterback, Tim Tebow. Are you familiar with him? Are you a fan? Do you not know who he is?

His story is quite a compelling one whether or not you root for his success. He is the fifth son of a pair of Christian Baptist missionaries and was born in the Philippines.

The circumstances surrounding his birth were challenging and it was suggested by the doctor that the Tebows consider an abortion:

Doctors later told Pam (Tim’s mother) that her placenta had detached from the uterine wall, a condition known as placental abruption, which can deprive the fetus of oxygen and nutrients.

Tim Tebow Heisman Winner

Doctors expected a stillbirth, Pam said, and they encouraged her to terminate the pregnancy.

“They thought I should have an abortion to save my life from the beginning all the way through the seventh month,” she recalled.

Of course, she did not abort and Tim grew up to be one of the most celebrated of college quarterbacks, winner of various awards and championships, including the Heisman. He did not avoid controversy in college at the University of Florida, but it was not of the usual type:

In 2010, a new rule for the next NCAA football season, dubbed “The Tebow Rule” by media because it would have affected him, banned messages on eye paint.

Tim Tebow John 3-16

During his college football career, Tebow frequently wore biblical verses on his eye black.

In the 2009 BCS Championship Game, he wore John 3:16 on his eye paint, and as a result, 92 million people searched “John 3:16″ on Google during or shortly after the game.

Additionally, later, when Tebow switched to another verse, there were 3.43 million searches of “Tim Tebow” and “Proverbs 3:5-6″ together.

Tebow stated of the searches “It just goes to show you the influence and the platform that you have as a student-athlete and as a quarterback at Florida.”

Tebowing- Praying During a Game

His final, collegiate numbers are truly staggering: he passed for over 9000 yards and rushed for almost 3000. Turning pro, he was drafted 25th in the first round of 2010 National Football League Draft by the Denver Broncos.

On December 19, 2010, he started his first game and set an NFL record for his 40 yard scamper into the endzone for a touchdown. It remains the longest touchdown run for a quarterback in Denver Broncos’ history and the longest NFL touchdown run by a quarterback during his first professional start.

Tim Tebow, Friar Tuck and Run

So this last Sunday, Tim played in the place of the sputtering Kyle Orton.

From wikipedia: When Coach John Fox announced hat Tebow would start against the Miami Dolphins, 75,000 tickets were sold in one day. In that game, Tebow and the Broncos rallied from a 15-0 deficit in the last 4 minutes to win the game 18-15 in overtime.

For 3 1/2 quarters, the Dolphins throttled Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, who completed just 4 of 14 passes for 40 yards before his team got the ball trailing 15-0 with 5:23 left.

Then Tebow led them to an overtime victory that was described by one ESPN analyst as “magical.” Go to the above link to read it all.

Still, there are many valid criticisms of Tebow. He is an inaccurate passer with a strange delivery. As for me, I don’t have an NFL team. But I am a Tim Tebow fan. He is a good guy and I want him to succeed. I can’t help it.

I did not like him when I first heard him speak. He enunciates his words as if his tongue is too large for his mouth. I can’t explain it and surely this is petty, but this remains my first impression. But it changed after I learned more. . .

As for the sandwiches in the title above, Eagles Defensive End Brandon Graham is the guilty party. He packed on twenty pounds during an 8 week period:

Sandwich Man Brandon Graham, Eagle Eater

Apparently the Eagles defensive end has been on the offensive end of some of Philly’s finest food.

The 2010 first-round draft pick tore his ACL last December and spent two months on crutches. His weight jumped from 270 to 290 during his recovery. He has a culprit, though.