Thankfully he compared CoE to the Oscars and not the Grammys — the latter of which have been, hands-down, the least credible and least relevant artist awards going. (As evidenced by the many album-of-the-year winners named at least a decade after the artist is either over the hill or dead, plus occasional jems like naming Jethro Tull “best heavy metal band”.)

As one reader pointed out to us over email, there is some irony in that George Howell — someone whom many in the industry look down upon as a sort of “second wave” coffee dinosaur — is at the roots of the modern single-origin coffee explosion.

But we gotta ask: what gives? Futures contracts on senses of humor break 14-year highs over at Sprudge? Hyperbole die a gruesome death after the Sweat-pants-and-Starbucks incident?

And when did you guys decide to go from being coffee’s Tiger Beat to its National Review anyway? We can only imagine how much Shoffee must be riding you guys like a Mexican donkey show with K-cups for tassles.

Or are you just slumming it here because you’re as tired as we are of the recycled 1970s coffee advert YouTube videos you’ve been pushing lately? Can’t say that we blame you.