The muscular all-wheel drive Italian SUV whupped Germany’s legendary Nürburgring race track with a lap time of just under 7 minutes and 52 seconds, burying the previous SUV record held by the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S by eight seconds (not to mention the 2006 Ford GT and 2008 Lamborghini Gallardo). Indeed, the super-ute was just 20 seconds slower than its sister sedan, the 505-horse Alfa Giulia Quadrifoglio over the 13-mile lap.

My laps in the twin-turbo V-6 Stelvio Quadrifoglio around the 20-turn, 3.4-mile Circuit of the Americas’ Formula One track in Texas were, in turn, about 20 seconds slower than my lap times in a 150-horse Lola SCCA club-sports racer. Which in turn is about 20 seconds slower than a modern, 525-horsepower IMSA Corvette, and …

Payne, have you gone mad? What are you doing comparing an SUV to race cars? Or to the Giulia, the best-handling sports sedan on the planet? Or for that matter, what are you doing on a race track at all with a sport utility vehicle?

Yes, the world has turned upside-down.

Track tests used to be for Porsche sports cars and BMW M3 sports sedans to show their bandwidth as weekday commuters and weekend track-letes. But in ute-crazy America, such niche performance brands — which once sold mere thousands — have figured out how to sell tens of thousands by transferring their performance DNA to Frankenstein SUV-monsters like the Porsche Cayenne and BMW X5 M.

I am convinced that no human being will ever take these tall SUVs out to do track laps. Yet their very existence depends on convincing customers that they share the same personality as the sports cars that made their brands household names.

Mom and Dad can’t justify a two-seat Alfa Romeo — where would they put the kids? — but they can buy an Alfa Romeo Stelvio SUV, anchor two child seats in back and still arrive at the country club social with that legendary Trilobo grille up front. The Quadrifoglio is the steroid-fed version of Alfa’s ute which begins as the best handling, most powerful entry in the premium compact class.

Thus, the Stelvio Quadrifoglio’s SUV lap record around the legendary Nurburgring, which followed siblings Alfa 4C and Giulia Quadrifoglio who set the fastest lap for, respectively, an under-250-horsepower car and a sedan.

Stelvio’s lap eclipsed the record set by Porsche’s Cayenne Frankenstein. Call it Frankenstein Jr.

The 570-horsepower Cayenne Turbo S and 707-horse Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk may have insane power but they are mid-size SUVs weighing 5,000 pounds. They are a serious handful in turns even as their power induces giddy goosebumps on exit. Barreling down Club Motorsports’ main straight — set in Maine’s White Mountains — into Turn 1 at 125 mph in a Jeep Trackhawk last fall, a voice in my head kept nagging:

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The Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio is the Italian automaker’s third performance car in the U.S. market, following the 4C sports car and Giulia Quadrifoglio. All three have set lap records in their class at Germany’s Nurburgring. Henry Payne, The Detroit News

If the steering fails, we’re going to burn a hole in that mountain yonder.

The Stelvio Quadrifoglio, by contrast, is a compact ute at 4,300 pounds — still a big piece of steak but more easily digested through Circuit of the Americas’ serpentine Turns 2-5 esses.

Flying downhill into Turn 2, chassis dynamics turned to Race mode, the 2.9-liter V-6 howling like a poked badger, the Qaudrifoglio is a composed handful. Its tight, 21/4 turns lock-to-lock steering makes for small inputs. Sliding right-to-left into Turn 3, however, I never think of pulling on the huge, curved silver paddle shifters (they look like they were pulled off the Black Panther’s Wakanda throne) for two reasons: 1) Fixed to the steering column, they are hard to grab, and 2) I don’t need them.

The Stelvio’s eight-speed transmission is so intuitive that I don’t feel the need to overrule it. Coming off tight Turn 9 into one of the fastest sections of track, the engine is in the meat of its torque curve, AWD scrabbling for traction, and …

Payne, are you still on a race track with an SUV?

OK, OK. The Alfa is a practical daily driver, too. The ute shares the same magnificent suspension and 505-horse drivetrain with the rear-wheel drive Giulia Quadrifolgio sedan. But Stelvio mates it to a sophisticated, torque-vectoring AWD system that makes it an all-season workhorse.

Where an M1 Concourse track jockey might store the rear-wheel drive Giulia Quadrifoglio for the winter once the snow falls, the Stelvio can be driven in all conditions.

It’s in a rare class of three. Although other compact utes from Audi (SQ5) and BMW (X3 M40i) offer impressive performance numbers, only Porsche’s Macan Turbo S, Mercedes’ AMG GLC63 and the Alfa are muscled in excess of 400 horsepower.

As you would expect from Germans and Italians, the Porsche and Alfa utes (I have yet to sample the V-8 powered Mercedes) have very different personalities despite their similar wheelbases and twin-turbo V-6s.

The Porsche — I took an S model out on the Mid-Ohio race track a couple years back— looks like a Turbo 911 on stilts, its enormous ribbed side air intakes big enough to swallow a flock of geese. Inside, the key (yeah, Porsche still does keys) is on the left (just like the LeMans racers), the tach front and center behind the steering wheel, the console sleeve tattooed with buttons to control everything from heated seats to spring settings.

The Alfa’s push-start button is on the steering wheel, racy-looking dials behind it, a quirky monostable shifter at your right hand.

Both infotainment systems are competent, but you buy these birds of prey for their war cries.

The German is soaring, determined. The Italian is more demented, like a meatball got caught in its esophagus. It snorts on upshift, clears its throat with rev-matching downshifts. Eccellente! Kids and normal-size adults will fit more comfortably in the rear seats than the tight Giulia Quadrifogio. And the five-door hatch opens up headroom — and provides two more seats than you have in the Alfa 4C sports car.

Oh, and did I mention that the Stelvio Quadrifoglio beat the nimble 4C’s Nurburgring lap time? By 12 seconds. That’s what double the horsepower gets you.

Hmm, maybe you really should take this SUV out for track days …

Henry Payne is auto critic for The Detroit News. Find him at hpayne@detroitnews.com or Twitter @HenryEPayne. Catch “Car Radio with Henry Payne” from noon-1 p.m. Saturdays on 910 AM Superstation.

From the first 2014 Ford Fiesta I drove, I’ve been hooked. Cute, perky, affordable and loaded with options from the affordable, base 1.6-liter manual to the raucous ST, the Fiesta hatchback is a lip-smacking, salsa-soaked appetizer to the automotive world.

Instead, Ford is importing its entry-level SUV, the Ecosport, all the way from India.

But the cute red Ecosport in my driveway is hardly a replacement for the Fiesta. Indeed, the five-door Fiesta remains Ford’s $15,000 entry-level vehicle complemented by the ST — the five-alarm, jalapeno pepper entree to Ford performance. Entry-level SUV it may be, but the Ecosport shares more with Ford’s Focus sedan than the Fiesta.

Both the Focus and Ecosport sticker well north of Fiestas (about $19,000 for the Focus, $21,000 for the Ecosport). Both are offered with the surprisingly peppy 1.0-liter “Godzilla-in-a-box” three-cylinder. And both appeal not only to new buyers, but also to downsizing empty-nesters coming out of three-row Explorers.

Suddenly I don’t fear for the Fiesta’s future so much as I fear for the Focus. In ute nation, I give the Focus a snowball’s chance in Vegas.

Ironically, Ford is late to the subcompact ute market despite being a brisk seller abroad since way back to 2003. While other mini-SUVs — the Jeep Renegade, Buick Enclave and Honda HR-V — scored hits by tailoring their subcompacts to the U.S. market, Ford has had to update its Ecosquirt — er, Ecosport — to meet Yankeed preferences.

They did an admirable job. Despite coming to market with one of the shortest wheelbases in the class (99 inches), the Ecosport manages to be competitive in cargo- and leg-room with longer-wheelbase competitors like the Chevy Trax and Jeep Renegade. It even beats the cavernous Honda HR-V in front legroom.

Still, your ex-basketball player’s 6-foot-5 dimensions were cramped in the Ecosport’s back seat, and the accelerator and brake pedals felt close together under my big clown shoes. But its short length is an advantage in cramped city spaces — a trait tried and tested in tight cities abroad.

Marrying its small wheelbase to Ford’s natural athleticism (cue the Fiesta), Ecosport is surprisingly good dance-partner. Though limited to front-wheel drive in my 1.0-liter base turbo-3 engine — the 2.0-liter turbo-4 comes with all-wheel drive— the Ecosport followed my lead through Oakland County’s twisty lake country.

The 1.0-liter overachiever — its trophies for engine of the year would probably require a Ford Expedition to carry — continues to impress. The three-holer once-upon-a-time paired nicely with the 2,600-pound Fiesta (alas, it is no longer available with the U.S.-version Fiesta) and proves worthy of the porkier Ecosport SUV.

Like Laurel throwing Hardy on his back, the wee three moves the SUV along out of corners, the effort masked by the Ford’s best-in-segment interior quieting.

That low-end turbo grunt comes at a price, though, as the 1.0-liter’s gas mileage is well off the 34 mpg (40 highway) of the Focus. Blame the SUV’s higher drag co-efficient as well. All told, the 123-horsepower Ecosport’s 28 mpg (29 highway) is no more “eco” than the larger-displacement 141-horsepower Honda HR-V and 138-horse Chevy Trax offerings.

The fun factor is amplified by the Ford’s mighty-mouse design. The hatchback has a raked-forward athletic stance. Its growly three-bar grille gets its DNA from the Mustang/Fiesta side of the family instead of the more conservative Edge/Explorer wing.

Fun and capability intersect in the Ecosport’s rear swing-gate, which is the subcompact’s defining feature. In a segment full of character, it’s almost a must that each bring a unique feature to the potluck party.

Like the Mini Cooper Clubman’s Dutch doors, the Ford defies convention with its swinging cabinet door. Trigger the hidden button under the taillight and the tailgate swings halfway open to a detent — then will continue to full, 90-degree open.

It’s a feature folks with low garage ceilings (me) will appreciate. I recently had a Tesla Model X and was relieved when its falcon-wing doors sensed when to stop opening. Many SUVs are not so — BONK! — sensitive.

The Ecosport’s swinger is a garage-friendly throwback to the good ol’ station wagon days (though the Ford’s gate won’t fold flat like a pickup tailgate). A quick primer on the pros/cons of a swing-gate:

■Con: Only one person can access it at a time from the right.

■Pro: I don’t bang my head on it.

■Con: It doesn’t have a foot-kick-open option like the Ford Escape

■Pro: It offers roof access for wee Mrs. Payne who can stand on the rear cargo lip and help tie down a Christmas tree, luggage, etc.

As for being connected, Ford has put past hiccups behind it. It’s new SYNC 3 system is reliable, provides Apple CarPlay and Android Auto connectivity, and allows the driver to control the car remotely via a smartphone app.

Not long ago I was ogling luxury cars that I could start remotely. Now I have a crisp, detailed app on my phone for a common, $20,000 Ford that can do everything from start the car, check its maintenance status and pick up my laundry (just kidding about that last part, though it can’t be far away).

As an entry-level SUV, Ecosport sits in an interesting spot. Its high ride and five-door utility will make it a tempting buy for Ford customers who once defaulted to Focus for the compact car. But the Ecosport’s small back seat will cramp 6-footers expecting more from a ute — a cramp that may send them across the showroom (or to the certified pre-owned desk) to Ecosport’s roomier, techier Escape.

Whatever the case, there is still my favorite little Fiesta hatch which is still the only entry-level Ford five-door for under $17,000. It’s still the Ford that’s the most fun to throw about. And it’s still a moderate fuel-drinker despite its party name.