A note from a long time employee landed in our mailbox recently, tweaked to protect identifying punctuation marks -:) Below is a quick summary:

The State Department’s Something Affairs Bureau (SAB) is serious about that leadership precept of hiring the best team possible.

Need proof? SAB hired XXXX about a year ago as a ZZZZ, a position that “never existed before” in the Something Affairs Bureau.

The writer notes that I may not recognize the new hire’s name but that I might recognize the person’s other name, which is Spouse of Former Assistant Secretary for Something Affairs.

The note ends with something like “SAB is serious about hiring the best!”

Yeah, you go, dear! I don’t know all the details but sounds impressive… sign me up!

Now — if I marry that good looking Consul General over there, may I get a job that never existed before, too?

No? You mean a spouse of the Consul General is not high enough for a personalized job creation? Dammit! Now I have to find an Assistant Secretary to snag. Life just isn’t fair and shhh! I’m not/not getting any younger!

Wait — if I cannot find a willing or available Assistant Secretary, would a Deputy Assistant Secretary do? Please, pretty, please? The DASes are almost as good as the AS. I promise I’ll be very good. And I will come up with my very own job title (never before seen anywhere), so you won’t even have to worry about that. Deal?

Oh, the things you do for a job these days! But if I get a personalized job creation at the Something Affairs Bureau, that will give me health insurance, TSP, social security retirement, sick leave, etc. etc.!

Now, I gotta chore to run …

BTW — names and suggestions for blind dates with a dashing someone preferably ranked Assistant Secretary but no lower than a DAS accepted via email until further notice.