Misadventures in Mommyhood…tales from a manic mommy

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Deep Thoughts by Tristan Fernandez

When describing our children to others, we can basically sum up their personalities in just a few words. Jade, the oldest, is maternal, talkative and a perfectionist (gets the latter two from her father). Nicholas, the youngest, is our dramatic wild child where there is never a dull moment (jury is still out on where he gets the dramatic streak…). And Tristan, the middle child…well, there is just really one word to describe my sweet, quirky step-son. Random.

And we mean this in the best way possible – the child never ceases to amaze us with what comes out of his mouth. Seriously. I am fascinated with this little guy’s brain. I love our dinner time prayers – we go around the table and say what we are thankful for. Jade and Nicholas are pretty basic – thankful for their food, families and dogs. Tristan, however, brings a whole new dimension. “I’m thankful for roller skates, refrigerators, helicopters and eyebrows (hmm…guess eyebrows are kind of important). And I really like DadDad’s sweatshirt, it’s awesome because it has OU on it, and I’m thankful that I don’t have any corn on my plate. Amen.” He’s not kidding with the corn bit either…but his eating habits are a whole ‘nother story.

This fall was Tristan’s first day of First Grade. He wanted to make a good impression so he wore his coolest bright blue shades and walked right into the classroom and stuck his face in some boy’s nose and said. “Hi, My name is Tristan, will you be my friend? Don’t worry, I’m from Planet Earth.” Not quite sure if the two are bosom buddies, but at least he tried.

And he also has a major conscience (unlike my other son…but again, I digress…). The other day he told me his brain was taken over by the devil (which is why he forgot to turn in his homework) and that he needed to talk to God – could I please give him God’s phone number? Or when he knew he did something wrong and I told him he was going to have to tell his dad…he was petrified. He followed Shane around for 30 minutes before he confessed that he “wanted to tell the truth, but didn’t want Shane to cut off his head with an axe…”

While we were trick-or-treating this year, Tristan told his dad that when he grew up he wanted to be Shane’s uncle, so he could take him trick-or-treating. Don’t know where he got that, but he does have a lot of “imaginary uncles” that he talks about quite frequently, that take him hunting for bears and on quests to find the Allspark (for non-parents, that is Transformer lingo).

I could go on and on, but I’ll end with Tristan giving us a good night kiss and telling us that he really liked Planet Earth, and he would like to stay here if that was okay with us. Yes, Tristan, we are glad you want to stay. Life would be much less interesting without you.

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About marniefernandez

Official kid wrangler of four. Step mom, adoptive mom & bio mom. City girl turned country bumpkin. Small town girl next door married to Hollywood sniper/moto-cross/ninja architect. Career girl turned stay-at-home mom with baby on hip. Permanent taxi-cab driver, schedule organizer and professional laundress. (When not chasing kids...) Mommy blogger, columnist, travel writer and consultant. And no, I don't sleep. And yes, I take Prozac. And drink wine from sippy cups.