The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Monthly Archives: November 2018

When it comes to decorating for Christmas, you can bet it includes such trappings like an ornamental tree, stockings, poinsettias, wreaths, and more. Though many homes might not include a cozy fireside. Since such yuletide décor can be a serious fire hazard. Nonetheless, walk into any store and you’ll find a wide assortment of Christmas decorations for your home. But there are plenty of people who’d rather make their own holiday trappings. Of course, craft stores are happy to oblige. Not to mention, children also make some of their Christmas decorations in their art class. Still, unlike the treats I just showed you that must be eaten before an expiration date, Christmas craft projects can be used year after year. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of Christmas crafts for the season. Enjoy.

A place mat should always have a matching coaster.

This is a knitted place mat depicting a Christmas tree. Though the coaster has red bows on it.

2. Hark! The golden angel sing.

This one might’ve been made out of golden paper. Yet, she has golden hair while her golden wings contain stars.

3. May I interest you in a snowman tulle wreath?

This one has a green tulle wreath in between the head and bottom. Includes 3 baubles in the center.

4. Perhaps a small square wreath of wood will suit your fancy.

This one includes a house and stars. Perfect for any rustic holiday home.

5. A red lantern can hold plenty of shiny baubles.

You can even put lights inside. Though make sure they’re electric. Also like the snowflake and ribbon.

6. A glass snowman can shine in the dark.

Because the snowman has lights inside. But unlike a real snowman, it won’t melt in warm weather.

7. Serve your winter dishes on these knitted snowman mats.

They come as a couple with buttons and bows. So adorable.

8. Make your home a winter wonderland with this crocheted snowflake garland.

These are great for decorating the tree with. As long as it doesn’t get tangled in any limbs.

9. You should always include a Christmas ornament that includes pearls.

Of course, the pearls are fake. But if you have a broken pearl necklace you don’t know what to do with, this is for you.

Food has always been essential to a Christmas feast since the holidays are a time for friends and family. On any platter you may find turkey or ham as a main course along with so many other delights. While desserts often feature Christmas cookies shaped like Santas, reindeer, trees, and other icons of yuletide yore. In any case, a large Christmas table often leads many to list weight loss on their New Year’s Resolutions which they’ll never fulfill. Anyway, over the years I’ve done an annual Christmas treat post featuring plenty of unique food this holiday season. Though many of these treats are professionally made, some don’t seem hard to make at all. Yet, I’ve found most of them on Pinterest or on Google Images. So for your reading pleasure, I offer another assortment of Christmas delights. Enjoy.

A reindeer cake should always include golden antlers.

It also contains golden ears and red nose to indicate it’s Rudolph. Even has jingles on the collar.

2. Watermelon Christmas trees are a delightful yuletide treat.

This just has Christmas trees cut out from watermelon. May not be green, but they’re simple enough.

3. Nobody could resist this penguin cake.

This guy wears a Santa hat with a bough of holly. While its face is just so adorable you want to eat up.

4. Would you like a train on your plate?

This mostly consists of graham crackers, whipped cream, and M&Ms. Great for kids to make for themselves.

Over the years, I have done posts showing parents the multiple ways Elves on the Shelves have been quite naughty behind closed doors. Indeed, every year during the Christmas season, Santa sends these red-clad spies to look into whether children are good enough to receive presents. Yet, this doesn’t mean the elves will be good themselves when nobody’s looking. I’ve often seen looking for incidents of elves behaving badly on the internet. And let’s just say a lot of these images aren’t suitable for an innocent child’s eyes. Nonetheless, parents have the responsibility on keeping an eye on the household Elf on the Shelf and report any shenanigans to Santa at 1-800-BAD-ELF1. In the meantime, feel free to look at another assortment of Elves on the Shelves behaving very naughty. By the way, many of these images are unsafe for work and aren’t for kids, naturally.

Dinkler has a confession to make.

Man, that elf is quite devious. Wonder if he was planning to sell these drugs. Then that makes me ponder what Santa’s paying these guys.

2. Grinley is all dressed in black.

Is he planning to rob something? Or is he dressed up as a ninja? Don’t have a great feeling about either scenario.

3. What the hell is Oliver doing with that contraption?

Well, I’m not sure what that thing is. But Oliver seems to use it as a vibrator, apparently. So it’s kind of disturbing.

4. Cringle had to come back for Walking Dead night.

Here he is among the undead. Makes me wonder how he can last before a zombie bites him.

5. “Hello, Clarice.”

Seriously, you don’t want to go near Quincy. For he has a ravenous appetite for human flesh.

6. Twinkie likes to do target practice in his spare time.

Are those dead birds? Looks like it. So how did they get inside in the first place?

7. Rump promises to make Christmas great again.

Though he may not be as scary as Donald Trump, he’s certainly terrifying with his spray tan and horrendous toupee. If your kid has him for their Elf on the Shelf, they’re totally screwed.

8. Rumpy wants to build a wall at the US-Mexico border.

Sorry, but that wall won’t keep undocumented immigrants out of the US anymore than a life-sized version at the border which would be a massive waste of money.

9. What’s bursting from Elliot’s chest?

Oh, God, that’s a xenomorph! Get out of the house and get Ellen Ripley on Line 1.

10. Norman likes to doodle in his spare time.

Is that what I think it is? And I thought graffiti was bad.

11. Got something to say, Rennie?

Is he dressed up as Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs? Indeed, he must be a very sick bastard.

12. Danny wants you to know that Winter is coming.

This is straight from Game of Thrones. And the marshmallow snow figures don’t seem happy about it.

13. Jingler has Woody all tied up at the moment.

And I don’t think this constitutes in kinky stuff. Yet, Woody doesn’t seem to mind, disturbingly.

14. Calvin and the dolls are in for a wild ride.

Are they all in the dryer? This won’t turn out well.

15. Snowball has really gone downhill lately.

He seems passed out on booze and pills. Guess someone’s going to rehab after the holiday season. If the North Pole features a rehab center.

16. Plinko always likes to browse the web.

Hey, at least he’s not looking at porn. Rather, he seems turned on by gorgeous women in sexy Christmas costumes.

17. Wendell and his doll don’t care about the rules.

The sign says: No Horseplay in Hot Tub. Yet, they don’t seem to listen. Though the tub is a glass bowl with marshmallows inside.

18. Tinker is the only player with his clothes on in this strip poker game.

Then again, his clothes are basically sewn onto him. That can’t be said for these dolls.

19. Perry has a knack with a sharpie.

Here he’s put mustaches on the whole family. I know he’s not respecting his welcome to the Hendersons’ home.

20. At least Petey tries to play it safe.

Yet, that doesn’t excuse him from doing a 3 way with a couple of Barbies in a stocking. Also, what are those nooky pills?

21. “Take that, Ken Doll!”

Man, Winkle’s really going to town with him. Hope he doesn’t hurt any onlooking Smurfs.

22. Clinker has a profound confession to make.

So kids can’t touch him due to a court order. If that’s the case, he shouldn’t be an elf on the shelf, period.

23. Daenys is the Mother of Reindeer.

This is a takeoff on Game of Thrones. She’s supposed to be Daenyrs Targaryen who keeps dragons. Yet, the antlers seem to blaze fire for some reason.

24. Tina wants to try on a new face.

Yet, that face seems to come from a Mr. Potatohead Santa. And the spud is certainly not pleased.

25. “Congratulations, it’s a reindeer.”

Look, I have no idea how this is possible. So don’t ask me to explain. Seriously, this is really fucked up.

26. Chinker wants to show that Elf Lives Matter.

Yet, I don’t know whether this policeman is convinced. Though in his defense, the elf is pretty creepy.

27. “This house isn’t big enough for both of us elves.”

So Rinko has to put Gregor Elf into a candy dish. Man, that’s so cold with the “It’s easier if you don’t struggle.”

28. Crumpet has a lot of explaining to do.

Apparently, he’s confessing to running a young girl’s innocence with Princess Jasmine. Guess he doesn’t know the meaning of discretion.

29. Belle’s been distraught over the Beast and Dinkie.

I know it’s so wrong on so many levels. And unlike Belle, I can’t bring myself to look away.

30. Apparently, Brumpet has a bit of a drinking problem.

Perhaps he might want to lay off the wine. I know that spying for Santa is quite a stressful job as it is.

31. Beware of Wembley when he’s in one of his moods.

This is a takeoff on the Saw series which I’m not very familiar with. Yet, you don’t want to see an Elf on the Shelf wielding a bloody ax.

32. Jack Sparrow Elf can’t resist his Southern Comfort.

Though you’d think he’d be more of a fan of Bacardi or Captain Morgan. Still, the Jack Sparrow get up is spot on.

33. Freddy wants to try his talent in the kitchen.

Yet, he seems to enjoy hanging around hte knives for some reason. And no, the sharp end shouldn’t stick out like that.

34. Starky wants everyone to know that Christmas is coming.

Indeed, another parody of Game of Thrones. Like how the iron throne is made out of cutlery.

35. Seems like these 4 elves really let themselves go.

This is a spoof on Duck Dynasty. And yes, it’s kind of strange to see these elves in long beards.

36. Grigsby doesn’t mind losing his head over anything.

Yet, he seemed to spill blood upon decapitation. Still, the smile remains.

37. Roddy loves enjoying company now and then.

Here he is wearing chains with 2 Barbies and a bottle of Smirnoff. Elf thinks he’s gangster doesn’t he?

38. Apparently, Elmer doesn’t have good taste in TV.

Well, maybe he’s homesick for the North Pole. Still, there must be better things to watch than The Real Housewives.

39. “Say your prayers, Blinko!”

Apparently, these figures had put up with his shit way too long. But could you hardly blame them?

40. Frankie loves the gangster life.

Wonder what the hell he’s doing with the British Queen. Still, those who live the gangster life usually go down to a violent end.

41. Trinkler just wants to tinker with the baby’s car seat.

However, I wouldn’t want to put him in the same car as the baby. Since he seems bent on sabotage.

42. What’s Elver and the Abominable Snowman doing in the toilet?

Yet, the yeti spreads Elver’s leg over the bowl for some reason. And I really don’t want to know why.

43. Don’t worry about Axel. He won’t harm anyone anymore.

Seems like he killed an alien, Ham, and a couple Ninja Turtles. Thank God Dexter took care of him when he did.

44. Nicky wants you to put your furs on since winter is coming.

Indeed, this is another takeoff on Game of Thrones. Though the fur doesn’t seem like anything you’d find in Westeros.

45. “Decorate your Christmas tree with this!”

Here Quinkles smashes a bauble like it can’t be easily replaced. But it can since you can find them at almost any store this time of year.

46. Flicker appears like he’s out for blood.

Seeing he’s got fangs, you’d take him for some elf vampire. If he’s in your house, keep him away from your kids.

47. Dingle has been sentenced to death by firing squad.

Here he’s bound and blinded with plastic wrap. As plastic army men are commissioned to do the grisly deed.

48. Somehow Stevie got into some dirty laundry.

Seems like he’s sniggering over what he’s seen among hte clothes. If you want to kill him with fire, be my guest.

49. Looks like Marvin’s ingratiating himself well among the toys.

Yet, they seem to play cards with bottles of booze beside them. I’m sure they’re gambling as well.

50. Flinker is desperate for fast cash these days.

So he’s resorting to raiding Travis’ dino bank. You’d think an elf wouldn’t sink so low to steal money from a child.

51. Gary should know better than get between 2 witches.

Because a love triangle involving witches won’t end well. Gary should be lucky he’s not turned into a toad by this point.

52. Gringy has a penchant for some crazy pranks that go too far.

He’s written “Redrum” on the mirror with lipstick. Cue the family freak out a few minutes later.

53. Ringer wants these tampons to smell better.

Yet, putting candy canes into tampons doesn’t help. Seriously, it’s a very terrible idea for so many reasons.

54. Lexo is always fond of animals.

Is he humping that dog? And what are the plushies doing in front of the elf? Okay, I really don’t want to know.

55. “Draw me like one of your French girls.”

This is straight from Titanic as you can see. But Alvie relishes in drawing nudes.

56. Dare to come under the sidewalk.

This is from IT by the way. Yet, seeing Rinty and the creepy kid, I’ll take my chances with Pennywise.

57. Pinny is watching you.

This is an Elf on the Shelf as Pennywise the Clown. And yes, he’s quite terrifying to incite nightmares.

58. Tinkle always likes to try new things.

So it’s supposed to be like they’re lighting his farts. Let’s hope he doesn’t eat anything from Taco Bell during the month of December.

59. Clickel knows how to make an entrance on his makeshift sleigh.

This mostly consists of a Coors Light box and beer bottle reindeer. So it’s not a wholesome Christmas image meant for a postcard.

60. Chris can’t go back to the North Pole without a souvenir.

Here he seems to get Mrs. Malmsey’s bra. What a dirty elf to come into her house.

61. Jimmy wants to know what’s under the caroler’s skirt.

The caroler even carries an expression of shock. Apparently, this elf has his mind in the gutter when it comes to dolls.

62. Denny knows how to communicate with those trapped in the Upside Down.

This is a takeoff from Stranger Things. Remember when Will’s mom came up with this display to communicate with him?

63. Yulie has been left to the dinosaurs.

He’s tied up to make a meal out of the dinosaurs. Hope he enjoys this small toy version of Jurassic Park.

64. Tony always needs to get his hit now and then.

In true Scarface fashion, here he is about to sniff some coke while he’s holding a weapon. Don’t mention the mustache and gold chain.

65. I wouldn’t go near Lexie if I were you, Blinkerbells.

She’s been somewhat pale lately. Like she’s an undead zombie who’d infect you with her bite.

66. Tiller prefers to do what he likes on his ride.

Apparently, he’d rather make love to a Barbie against a green screen. Not the safest thing to do on the road.

67. You can’t put Elmie down the drain.

Sure you might have blood everywhere in your kitchen sink. But the elf will always rise again. Terrifying.

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, I am now free to get into my Christmas posts. And fortunately for the Trump folks, I’ll most likely be busy with these for most of December. Anyway, the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, or a day when I try to avoid the stores unless I have to work at one. Sure most of them probably don’t have people rushing inside to buy shit. Yet, you’ll always hear about one Black Friday brawl over a hot item on the news. Nonetheless, retail giants are known to advertise heavily in the days leading up to this iconic shopping day. Seriously, your Thanksgiving newspaper bundle probably comes with countless ads and catalogs on the latest deals. And yes, you’ll find plenty of Christmas ads from back in the day. Some might age well like this Goodyear ad above. But some not so much since they could be quite unintentionally funny, offensive, or creepy. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another yearly assortment of crazy vintage Christmas ads. Enjoy.

There will always be a Christmas, even in the future.

And in the future, it seems they’ll always use Rolex. Except that digital technology and smart phones haven’t been good for the watch market these days.

2. There’s no better gift for Christmas than Playboy.

I’m sure your man will always read it for the articles. Though I would suggest you’re better off giving him a tie. Also, I don’t think this woman’s wearing a bra.

3. This Christmas, give her a Hoover.

Sorry, but if a man gave me a vacuum for Christmas, I would not be happy. Seriously, I hat these things.

4. It’s always a holiday party with 7 Up.

Apparently, Jack’s trying to score with Susie at the dinner table. While Eric gets a bottle from behind.

5. Budweiser is always the beer for the holiday season.

You might think she’s happy and engaging in the holiday cheer. But she’s only putting on a smile to hide her dismay over Roger’s gift. And she’s not exactly in the mood for booze at the moment.

6. Santa likes to dance with his reindeer at the North Pole Christmas party.

Yet, I don’t think Santa has any good intentions for dancing with Dancer. For he’s eyeing the reindeer like a piece of sweet meat.

7. Timmy really seems to like his new train.

The boy’s like, “Wow, just what I need for my death machine I intend to use for torturing the neighbor’s cat. Thanks, Mom and Dad.”

8. This Christmas, give your loved ones a box of interwoven socks.

To be fair, Socks are essential for everyday living. Yet, I get the impression that Santa’s giving Bobby socks just to spite him for being a brat.

9. Kupperheimer always makes good clothes for the season.

Still, while Hank was eager to do the Christmas shopping, he didn’t like using bags. But, check out his coat.

10. Thanks to Greyhound, Daddy will be home for Christmas.

Unbeknownst to Mommy and little Johnny, Daddy would never be the same after Korea. Often he’d drink and fly into rages with no apparent reason.

11. With gifts, it’s always the thought behind it that counts.

Nonetheless, little Maisie knows that whatever present she gives to her family, nobody will be impressed than the new car Dad bought for the family. But she knows he got it for himself to enhance his ego.

12. Decorate your house with brightly-colored GE Christmas lights.

Or else, Santa will come down your chimney and murder you in your sleep. Don’t think that he wouldn’t.

13. This Christmas, give her the gift of lightness with matching luggage.

Though I’m sure she wouldn’t be able to take a whole set on a plane. Also, not very keen on the colors.

14. Seems like it’s the mom’s job to come up with the Christmas list.

Well, at least the girl is writing her own. But the boy just wants to play wit his new ray gun while the dad doesn’t really give a shit. But the mom knows she still has to get a gift for him.

15. Nothing makes a party memorable like 7UP.

Wonder if they have anything else in their pop. Or whether whoever’s here will end up doing more than kissing under the mistletoe like the couple in the back.

16. Santa always enjoys a bottle of Coke from the fridge.

Seems like milk and cookies couldn’t satisfy Santa enough. So he had to raid the fridge. Despite that he has plenty of other places to visit that offer the exact same treats.

17. ETA always makes the best Christmas nuts.

From Flashbak: “This couple literally seems on the point of tears over the sight of their gift of Christmas nuts. Suffice it to say, this mom and dad are easy to buy for.”

18. Not it’s Santa’s turn to receive his Christmas gift.

Though he doesn’t seem certain if this shirt would fit him. Or when he’ll use a tie. Then again, Santa may also have a day job for all we know.

I hear it even talks to you and urges you to murder people. But only when you’re really wasted on this stuff.

43. Corby’s always makes a great gift for fathers and sons.

Booze for Christmas? Still, let’s hope that alcoholism doesn’t run in this family. Though I wouldn’t be surprise if it does.

44. Take a break from Christmas shopping with a nice Coca Cola.

From Flashbak: ” Supposedly, they stopped putting cocaine in Coca-Cola in 1903; however, this 1962 advert, proclaiming a special ‘zing’ down to your toes, makes me think it was a bit later.”

45. An RCA Victor is perfect for the whole family.

From Flashbak: “Everything’s so white….is this what Christmas looks like in Heaven?” Let’s hope not since I don’t want to imagine this family dying in a car crash before then.

46. Throw a great Christmas party with the Hallmark party books.

She’s like, “God, I hope this book doesn’t make me mess up. Since I don’t want this shindig to end up like last year.”

47. Pop brings you happiness from a bottle.

Little girl’s like, “Drink all the happiness you can, Mom. Cause I’m going to kill you in your sleep and serve you for Christmas dinner.”

48. Santa thinks Interwoven socks make a great gift.

Santa also looks like he’s had a few too many. Maybe he should go home before his sleigh crashes into a house.

49. Planters Peanuts makes a great holiday party staple.

The guy is looking at the woman eating nuts and thinking, “Man, she’s really making an ass out of herself.” While he’s carrying a tray of cocktails.

50. 7UP can always please the holiday crowd.

Something tells me these kids shouldn’t be drinking it. Since they’re in their pjs and their parents are hosting a party downstairs.

51. Wrapping presents doesn’t have to be a hassle on Christmas.

From Evolvor: “Nothing says getting ready for Christmas then wrapping presents for the kids. And by wrapping presents I mean, kicking back with some ice cold brews and making the ladies do it. I’m sure a few minutes after this snapshot someone’s ass got slapped. Good work girls.”

52. Double Bubble always makes the season right.

From Evolvor: “I’m not sure if the kids these days know what an excuse for “gum” Double Bubble is, but I’m damn sure kids were not getting TOO excited over getting a handful of this shit in their Christmas stocking. The stuff is barely passable on Halloween and is a total fail of a holiday candy. If little Johnny ends up with a lump of ‘Bubble it’s because he was either bad that year and we needed coal to heat the house or Santa (*ahem* Dad) got laid off and this is all he could afford.”

53. Drinking beer is always a tradition during the holidays.

From Evolvor: “There’s nothing wrong with this ad really, I just love the idea of my grandparents getting bent on the holidays. Again clearly the men get to dick-around, most likely talking shit about all the people who sent them Christmas cards. “Look at John’s stupid kids, what an asshat” the one guy is probably saying. Meanwhile the ladies are again doing what they do best.”

54. A Lincoln-Zephyr is the quality car for the holiday season.

From Evolvor: “Many of you know how I strongly I feel about our obsession with cars (and how we use them to give us some sort of social status), and there’s nothing I hate more then seeing luxury auto ads during the holidays. Seriously who the hell gets a NEW CAR for Christmas? I dunno, maybe the day I strike it rich I’ll start buying people cars to make up for something really shitty I did to them in the past. Anywho, the not-so-wholesome past wasn’t any different, and here Santa is either dropping a brand new Lincoln off for some brat or is trading in the reindeer and sleigh for a V12.”

55. Schlitz gives you a light refreshment over the holidays.

Here she’s holding a small present. Wonder who it’s for and wonder what’s in it. Also, the guy seems to have a different “present” idea in mind. Cue the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

56. Give Kentucky Club to all the men on your Christmas list.

After all, lung cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. Even during the holiday season, apparently.

57. “For me? You shouldn’t have.”

From Evolvor: “Another classic Christmas car ad. This one SCREAMS “sugar daddy”. Nothing says love during the holidays like keys to the car *ahem* I mean heart.”

58. Send Christmas wishes through airmail this holiday season.

So Santa ditched his sleigh for a print plane. Hope the reindeer don’t go on strike when he returns to the North Pole.

59. For your holiday platter, banana quick bread makes a tasty treat.

Okay, that bread looks very disgusting. Yet, Santa munches on his banana nonetheless.

60. This Christmas, take a bottle from the J&B Scotch tree.

The bottles even have candles. Best to stay away from it if you’re the designated driver.

61. This year, give your children a real Roy Rogers Christmas.

And yes, this means Dad getting the saddle and giving horsey rides to the kids. I know it’s an undignified moment in fatherhood. But at least it’s cheaper than giving your kids a real pony.

62. Make this year a lucky Christmas.

Well, you won’t be so lucky with Lucky Strike. Seriously, smoking will kill you. But he doesn’t care.

63. Make your Christmas party planning easy with this new Toastmaster hospitality set.

Actually I don’t want to put any of these appetizers on toast. Seems like something you’d have on the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special.

64. Decking the halls is always a family tradition.

Of course, Dad had to put the garlands around the archways. Hope he watches his hand or he’ll be causing a bad accident. Especially if Sally’s running with the star. Hardly seems like having peace of mind. Still, I can’t help thinking they’re in the midst of an accident waiting to happen.

65. With Camel, it’s Merry Christmas with every smoke.

Man, Santa seems to appear in a lot of cigarette ads. Despite that smoking kills and gives people lung cancer.

66. Santa Claus always enjoys one on the rocks once in awhile.

This is from Japan, I think. Still, the guy is a clear mall Santa since the beard looks obviously fake.

67. Kid can’t help but talk about the new Plymouth.

Don’t look now, but I think the older sister has a devious look in her eyes. Like she has murder on the mind. Also, the dog’s jumping on her.

Here’s an assortment of cosmetics in fine containers sold by a multi-level marketing firm. And I believe she’s lighting a candle or burning incense. Either way, don’t want to have an open flame near a tree.

When it comes to rich people, there is a lot I have to criticize on how they perpetuate economic inequality through their vast sums of money and power while leaving the poorer masses with little leverage to assert themselves. But when it comes to their philanthropic foundations, I think that they at least put their own money in it and donate the money for a good charitable cause. Even if it’s just to name some sort of building after themselves. After all, many wealthy people usually contribute their money to the arts, college campuses, research facilities, libraries, and public works projects. Hell, though I think Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos treat their workers like shit, the fact they want to contribute some of their vast fortunes for going to Mars seems pretty cool.

However, despite that Donald Trump’s excessive vanity is the stuff of legend, such philanthropic endeavors don’t seem to be the case with the Donald J. Trump Foundation. Trump originally created this foundation in 1988 for his proceeds from his book Trump: The Art of the Deal to charitable causes. However, in since 2008, Trump had stopped contributing personal funds and instead solicited donations from outsiders. Though the foundation was based in New York City’s Trump Organization, with no paid staff or dedicated office space. Until its forced closure in 2017 due to an array of complaints in self-dealing, its board of directors consisted of Trump, his 3 adult children by Ivana, and Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg (though he told investigators he wasn’t aware of being a board member “at least for the last 10 or 15 years.”) In 2015, a Trump Organization spokesperson told The New York Post that Trump made all the decisions regarding the Trump Foundation money grants. Despite calling himself an “ardent philanthropist,” Trump has only donated $3.7 million to his foundation from 1990-2009.

Here’s a sheet of David Fahrenthold’s notes he showed on Twitter to prove that what he wrote about the Trump Foundation wasn’t fake news. He ended up winning a well-deserved Pulitzer Prize for his coverage in 2017.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, The Washington Post’s David Fahrenthold initiated an investigation into Donald Trump’s philanthropic activities after Trump held a fundraiser for veterans in January 2016 in lieu of a televised Republican debate appearance. Trump claimed the event raised $6,000,000 for veterans’ causes, including supposedly $1,000,000,000 of his own money. Fahrenthold began his investigation by trying to confirm the receipt and dispersal of that $6 million. All donations should’ve gone to the Trump Foundation which should’ve granted the money to others. Instead, Fahrenthold determined that, several months after the rally, the Trump Foundation had yet to send any funds to veterans-related charities. Though some of the funds went directly to causes without passing the Trump Foundation, Fahrenthold widened his search to a wider investigation.

In June 2016 as a response to this criticism, Donald Trump publicly asserted that he had given approximately $102 million to charitable causes from 2009-2015 and released a 93-page list of the money’s beneficiaries. However, subsequent reporting by the Washington Post and other news organizations found that many of the donations Trump claimed making personally over this 5-year period were made by the Trump Foundation. And by 2009, no longer held any of Trump’s money. While further investigations led to an increasing of abuse inside the foundation since its creation. David Fahrenthold’s investigation into the Trump Foundation and Trump’s history of personal charitable giving involved hundreds of calls to Trump-associated charities. It’s also notable in that Fahrenthold heavily drew support and investigative help from a larger number of his Twitter followers helping him track down leads on specific charities. The accusations against the Trump Foundation are many, including the following (which mostly comes from Wikipedia, by the way And yes, it’s most of the information comes from cited sources, including Fahrenthold).

Failure to maintain proper governance

In June 2018, the New York Attorney General office filed a petition explaining that: “…none of the Foundation’s expenditures or activities were approved by its Board of Directors. The investigation found that the Board existed in name only: it did not meet after 1999; it did not set policy or criteria for choosing grant recipients; and it did not approve of any grants. Mr. Trump alone made all decisions related to the Foundation.” Also, Trump Foundation treasurer Allen Weisselberg claimed he wasn’t even aware of his position on the foundation’s board until investigators approached him. Such signs in a foundation give a bright red flag to a charity scam.

Donation solicitation without a license

Under New York state law, a nonprofit foundation must register as a “7A Charitable Organization” if planning to solicit outside donations over $25,000. Initially, the Trump Foundation was registered as a private foundation set up solely to receive Donald Trump’s own personal donations. As long as it was registered as a private foundation and not soliciting outside funds, it didn’t have to file annual reports with the New York State Charities Bureau. Of course, given Trump’s aversion to transparency in financial matters, this might’ve been the reason why the Trump Foundation didn’t register as a “7A Charitable Organization.” But records show that Trump began soliciting donations at least as early as 2004, maybe even 1989.

Mishandling of funds raised for veterans’ causes

Here’s that fucking piece of shit Donald Trump bestowing a large check to a veterans’ charity in Iowa in 2016. Still, I wouldn’t cash in that check if I were these ladies. Mostly because the check might bounce.

In April 2016, Fox News reported that more than 2 months after Donald Trump said he raised $6 million for veterans at a pre-Iowa Caucus fundraiser, “most of the organizations targeted to receive the money have gotten less than half of that amount.” At the same time, Trump said he contributed $1 million of his personal funds. In late May, Trump revised the figures, claiming that $5.6 million had been raised at the event and that he contributed his $1 million share only the week before after the media criticized him. He also provided a list of beneficiaries of that $5.6 million. Although a 2018 New York state lawsuit further disputes this, citing $2.8 million.

Coordinating foundation grants with Trump’s presidential campaign

It should surprise nobody that Donald Trump might’ve used Trump foundation grants to advance his presidential campaign. This violates rules barring charities from engaging in political activity. Trump at least distributed some of the funds publicly at “Donald Trump for President” political rallies, displaying large-size checks including his campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again” or a link to a campaign website. In an October 2017 deposition, Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg testified that he witnessed Trump’s campaign staff coordinate with him to use the Iowa fundraiser for the campaign’s benefit. In a larger suit against the foundation in 2018, New York State Attorney General Barbara Underwood alleged that Trump in using the foundation for campaign promotion during and after the Iowa fundraiser, had violated charities laws.

Grants to the National Museum of Catholic Art and Library

In each of 1995 and 1999, the Trump Foundation granted $50,000 to the National Museum of Catholic Art and Library. According to a 2001 Village Voice report, after visiting the East Harlem museum, the facility had “next to no art” and no official connection to the Catholic Church, despite having a 10-year track record of soliciting large-scale donations for its collection. The Voice and later, The Washington Post concluded that Trump may have directed the grants to the museum to curry favor with then museum chairman, Eddie Malloy, who was also head of the Building and Construction Trades Council of Greater New York. The Council had worked on behalf of one of the workers’ unions who worked on Trump construction projects.

Failure to make pledged 9/11 donations

An October 2016 New York City Comptroller office investigation showed that Donald Trump or the Trump Foundation might’ve failed to honor at least one pledge to charities established to provide relief to 9/11 victims. In late September 2001, Trump pledged $10,000 to the Twin Towers Fund on The Howard Stern Show. Created by then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani, the Twin Towers Fund was “to benefit the families of firefighters and police officers who died in the attacks.” During the 2016 Republican National Convention, Giuliani announced that Trump made unspecified “anonymous” donations after the September 11 attacks. Though such donations have never been identified. Ever the sycophant, Giuliani also said in support of Trump’s candidacy, “Every time New York City suffered a tragedy Donald Trump was there to help,…. He’s not going to like my telling you this but he did it anonymously.”

The New York City Comptroller’s office told the New York Daily News it manually reviewed “approximately 1,500 pages of donor records of the Twin Towers Fund and the related entity NYC Public/Private Initiatives Inc., containing the names of more than 110,000 individuals and entities that were collected as part of the audits” through August 2012. According to them, Comptroller Scott Stringer, “found that Trump and [the Trump Foundation] hadn’t donated a dime in the months after 9/11.” However, because the reviewed period only covered one year after the attacks, the Comptroller office was “unable to conclude definitively” that Trump never gave to the fund after August 2002. According to its IRS Form 990 tax filings, the Trump Foundation made no grants to the Twin Towers Fund or to the NYC Public/Private Initiatives, Inc. it’s a part of from 2002-2014. Though Donald Trump might’ve made personal donations after August 2002 that wouldn’t have shown up in the filings.

After the convention in 2016, Donald Trump’s campaign suggested that the Trump Foundation made a grant to the American Red Cross after the attacks. But no record exists in its tax filings from 2002-2014. As with the Twin Towers Fund, a personal donation by Trump wouldn’t have shown up in its filings.

Those who read my post about Donald Trump in Mar-a-Lago may remember the outsized flag dispute with Palm Beach. Well, guess where he got the money to pay for that. Yep, his Trump Foundation slush fund.

Donald Trump might’ve used Trump Foundation money to settle his personal or business legal disputes on at least 2 occasions. In 2007, Trump used foundation money to settle his 2006 legal dispute between the town of Palm Beach, Florida and Trump’s Mar-a-Lago country club. This pertained to Trump putting up a gigantic flagpole that was too high and hoisting a flag that was too large as far as the town’s ordinances are concerned. If you read my post on Trump at Mar-a-Lago I published earlier this month, then you probably know how it goes. Anyway, settlement documents show that in return for discharging the club’s obligations to Palm Beach, Trump agreed to personally donate $100,000 to a veterans and military families charity Fischer House. However, Trump made the grant using foundation money, not his.

Donald Trump’s foundation paid $158,000 to the Martin B. Greenberg Foundation as a settlement in a lawsuit Greenberg brought against the Trump National Golf Club Westchester in Briarcliff Manor, New York. Martin Greenberg alleged that he rightfully won a $1 million prize for scoring a hole-in-one during a 2010 charity golf tournament. But the club denied the award on technical grounds, arguing the hole was shorter than the required 150 yards. He sued and both parties reached a settlement according to the Washington Post that, that “on the day that Trump and the other parties told the court that they had settled the case, the Donald J. Trump Foundation made its first and only grant to the Martin B. Greenberg Foundation, for $158,000.” In September 2016, the Post reported that the grant money was directly linked to the legal settlement, likely violating IRS self-dealing rules by using charitable funds to pay Trump’s personal or business obligations. To raise the needed money for the settlement, the Trump Foundation auctioned a prize of a Trump-owned golf course lifetime membership, with a $157,000 donation to the Trump Foundation as the winning bid. The auction winner might’ve believed they were donating to Trump Foundation charitable causes instead of Trump’s tax exempt personal piggy bank. According to the foundation’s available tax returns, Trump National Golf Club Westchester paid over $200,000 to the Trump Foundation in 2016, with $158,000 of the funds for the Martin B. Greenberg settlement.

Donation to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi

This is Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi. In 2013, during her office’s investigation into Trump University, Donald Trump gave her money from his foundation to make it go away. She dropped the case shortly afterwards. And she’s not the only one either.

In 2013, Donald Trump donated $25,000 in support of Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi’s election campaign while her office was reviewing fraud allegations against Trump University, a for-profit real-estate program scam Trump created. At the same time, Trump also hosted a fundraiser for Bondi at his Mar-a-Lago resort at a fee well below his normal market rate. In return, Bondi’s office ended the investigation without bringing charges. According to a Trump Foundation attorney, “the [$25,000] contribution was made in error due to a case of mistaken identity of organizations with the same name.” But Trump personally reimbursed his foundation for the $25,000. It paid a $2,500 fine for violating IRS rules against political contributions by charitable organizations. In 2016, then New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman publicly stated that the Trump Foundation was now subject to investigation by his office.

Nonprofit watchdog group, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington filed a complaint with the IRS. Obtaining a letter from the Trump Foundation’s lawyer to the New York Attorney General’s office also cast doubt on Donald Trump’s story. According to CREW Communications Director Jordan Libowitz, “We’re past the point where a reasonable person could believe this is just a never-ending series of once in a lifetime errors. This may not be anything nefarious, but if it isn’t, that would mean that the Trump operation is completely inept when it comes to running the Trump Foundation.” In October 2016, The Wall Street Journal reported details of how Trump had made campaign contributions to various US state attorneys general while reviewing cases involving the Trump Organization or himself personally, on several occasions since the early 1980s. Though the Bondi case is the only one cited as involving Trump Foundation money.

Grants allegedly made for political purposes

In 2012, Donald Trump paid $100,000 to the Reverend Billy Graham Evangelical Association. NBC News has called Graham “an early ally” of his. In 2011, Graham told ABC News, “The more you listen to him, the more you say to yourself, ‘You know, maybe the guy’s right.’” In October 2016, Graham revealed to the Charlotte Observer that he instructed Trump to make a $100,000 donation which was used for full page ads urging voters to support 2012 presidential candidates who support “biblical values.” The time and tone of the ads indicate they were placed in support of Mitt Romney as the Observer suggested. Graham also headed the Boone, North Carolina-based Samaritan’s Purse, a Christian relief agency that received $25,000 from the Trump Foundation in 2012. Graham credits then-Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren for soliciting the donation from Trump. Van Susteren had accompanied Graham on Samaritan’s Purse trips to Hawaii and North Korea. The Charlotte Observer quoted Graham saying, “[Trump] was on her show, and [Van Susteren] said, ‘I was just in Haiti and Samaritan’s Purse is doing this down there, and Donald, you need to help.’ He sent a check out.” In 2016, several media outlets alleged that Van Sustreren had been producing overtly pro-Trump reports on her Fox News show On the Record. These donations seem to explain some of Trump’s support with some white evangelicals in the Bible Belt.

Here’s Donald Trump shaking hands with David Bossie, best known for being head of Citizens United. You know the group in that Supreme Court case that ditched a slew of campaign finance laws and allowed rich people to spend as much money they wanted on political candidates. Also Trump gave money to him via Trump Foundation funds.

In 2014, the Trump Foundation made a $100,000 grant to the Citizens United Foundation, a charitable foundation closely related to David Bossie’s conservative group, Citizens United. If that sounds familiar, Citizens United was the group behind the Supreme Court case that allowed unlimited contributions from corporate donors, Super PACs, and dark money in political campaigns. At the time, Citizens United was engaged in a lawsuit against then-New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, whose office was also pursuing a civil lawsuit against Trump University. It was the largest single grant the Trump Foundation made that year. Schneiderman’s office called the grant part of a “vendetta” by Donald Trump. While Citizens United rejected any connection between the grant and its own lawsuit against Schneiderman. The Trump Foundation’s 2014 tax filing misidentified Citizens United as a public charity (501(c)(3)) when it’s actually a social welfare organization (501(c)(4)).

From 2011-2013, the Trump Foundation donated at total of $40,000 to the Drumthwacket Foundation, a charitable organization formed to pay for renovation and historical preservation of the New Jersey governor’s mansion of the same name. In 2011, Donald Trump was trying to get permits for a personal cemetery on the fairway at Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey and may have needed political help in obtaining approval. Keep in mind that Chris Christie was governor at the time.

Donald Trump directed $100,000 in Trump Foundation money toward the National September 11 Memorial Museum days before the 2016 New York State Republican presidential primary, where he was on the ballot, mischaracterizing the foundation grant as a personal donation.

In May 2015, the Trump Foundation granted $100,000 to conservative filmmaker and conspiracy theorist James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas. In October 2016, O’Keefe released videos apparently revealing how Democrats incited violence at Donald Trump’s rallies through dubious means. Except that’s not true. During the third 2016 presidential debate, Trump claimed the new videos O’Keefe produced and released that week proved that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama “hired people” and “paid them $1,500” to “be violent, cause fights, [and] do bad things” at Trump rallies. Despite the fact such details are utter bullshit. Besides, there are many instances where Trump has incited violence at his rallies. A Democratic National Committee spokesperson noted Trump’s donation after Project Veritas released another video on the 2016 election. A Project Veritas spokesperson responded saying, “We have a multi-million dollar budget and the cost of this video series alone is way up there. The donation Trump provided didn’t impact our actions one way or the other.” Though you have to strongly doubt that.

Then there’s the fact that Donald Trump might’ve directed Trump Foundation money to support his presidential campaign. In one case, the grants were used specifically to pay for newspaper ads. In October 2016, Real Clear Politics reported that Trump directed significant amounts of foundation money to conservative organizations, possibly in return for political support and access. They found that from 2011-2014, Trump had “harnessed his eponymous foundation to send at least $286,000 to influential conservative or policy groups…. In many cases, this flow of money corresponded to prime speaking slots or endorsements that aided Trump as he sought to recast himself as a plausible Republican candidate for president.” At least 2 of the groups are based in Republican-leaning early presidential primary states. In addition to the infamous Citizens United, groups include Iowa’s The Family Leader, the South Carolina Palmetto Family Council, the American Conservative Union, and the American Spectator Foundation. Trump’s foundation money grants could’ve violated the law if it was in return for his personal right to speak and gain access to networking events. Considering that he seemed to be an outsider early in the 2016 campaign, I wouldn’t put it past him.

The Trump Foundation’s $10,000 grant in 2013 to The Family Leader might’ve led to a speaking engagement for Donald Trump. The Family Leader is an Iowa-based organization whose stated mission is to “strengthen families, by inspiring Christ-like leadership in the home, the church, and the government.” Following the grant, the group’s leader Vader Plaats invited Trump to speak at its leadership summit. Because The Family Leader is a (501(c)(4)) corporation established “develop, advocate and support legislative agenda at the state level” and not a charity, these grants might’ve been illegal. Though Trump might’ve intended to make a grant to The Family Leader Foundation, which is a 501(c)(3) charitable foundation. Either way, it seems shady.

Donald Trump was invited to speak at the American Conservative Union’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in 2013 after directing $50,000 of Trump Foundation money to the organization. That same year, Trump was invited to speak at Washington’s Economic Club after the Trump Foundation made a grant there.

Partial payment of an assessment owed by the Plaza Hotel

In 1989, the Trump Foundation paid more than half for a “voluntary assessment” imposed on the Plaza Hotel by the Central Park Conservancy. The Trump Organization owned the hotel at the time and the assessment was for the renovation of the severely dilapidated Pulitzer Fountain at Grand Army Plaza directly facing the place. Toward the $500,000 assessment, the foundation granted $264,631 to the Conservancy while the Trump Organization paid between $100,000 and $250,000. The grant to the Conservancy was the Trump Foundation’s largest single grant since its inception through 2015.

Using foundation money to purchase personal or business goods or services

Here’s one of the paintings Donald Trump bought with his fake charity money. This one from Doral was discovered on TripAdvisor and a Univision reporter just had to check it out.

On 2 occasions, Donald Trump used the Trump Foundation’s money to buy portraits of himself.

In 2007, Donald Trump spent $10,000 in Trump Foundation funds to purchase a 6ft-tall portrait of himself by artist Michael Israel at a Florida benefit for a charity, the Children’s Place at Hornespace, held at his Mar-a-Lago club after his wife Melania made the highest bid. The painter’s former production manager told The Washington Post that he shipped the painting to the Trump National Golf Club Westchester in Briarcliff Manor, New York, allegedly for display in the country club’s conference room or boardroom, at Melania’s request. The charity paid half the proceeds to the artist for the painting, establishing that it had a fair market value of at least that amount. Tax experts told the Post that if it was displayed at a golf club, it could violate IRS rules prohibiting nonprofits from self-dealing (like using charity funds for noncharitable purposes). In September 2015, President Barack Obama publicly criticized Trump’s painting purchase.

In 2014 at a charity benefit for the Unicorn Children’s Foundation at his Mar-a-Lago resort, Donald Trump bought a 4ft tall painting of a 1990s version of himself by Argentine artist Havi Schanz, paying for it with $20,000 Trump Foundation funds. A photo of the portrait was found on a TripAdvisor review of Trump National Doral Miami. Later a Univision reporter went to the club, asked the various staff about the painting, and eventually discovered it hanging on at the golf resort’s Champions Bar & Grill restaurant. Trump campaign spokesman Boris Epshteyn explained on MSNBC that Trump’s use of the painting there was not only proper but beneficial to the foundation based on IRS rules allowing individuals to store items “on behalf of the foundation – in order to help with storage costs” and that its use at the restaurant is “absolutely proper” in that Trump was “doing his foundation a favor.”

During a charity auction at his Mar-a-Lago club in 2012, Donald Trump bid $12,000 for a Tim Tebow autographed NFL football helmet and a Tebow football jersey. Newspaper accounts credited Trump for his generosity. However, the purchase was made with $12,000 in Trump Foundation money, not his own. The helmet and jersey’s current whereabouts are unknown. But according to tax law experts, if Trump kept them, the purchase might’ve violated the self-dealing rule, banning private foundations from “the furnishing of goods” to their own officers.

In 2008, Donald Trump used $107,000 in Trump Foundation funds to purchase luxury trips to Paris, including a meeting with actress Salma Hayek at a charity auction for the Gucci Foundation.

In 2013, the Trump Foundation made a $5,000 grant to the nonprofit D.C. Preservation League. According to The Washington Post, the nonprofit’s support was helpful to the Trump Organization in obtaining the rights to convert Washington D.C.’s historic Old Post Office Pavilion into the Trump International Hotel. In acknowledgement for the donation, the Trump Foundation received ads in the event programs. But the ads promoted the hotel rather than the foundation, in possible violation of IRS self-dealing rules.

The Palm Beach Post has suggested that Donald Trump benefitted personally when the Trump Foundation made grants totaling $20,000 from 2011-2014 in return for band and choir performances held at his resorts.

Diverting business or personal income as donations to the foundation

Donald Trump may have directed income personally owed to him to be sent to the Trump Foundation instead of his bank account, in possible tax rules violation. In September 2016, The Washington Post reported that Trump directed that $2.3 million owed to him by various people and organizations should be paid instead as donations to his foundation. Hell, the Post found old Associated Press coverage showing that Trump may have started directing income to the Trump Foundation as early as 1989. IRS rules prohibit individuals from diverting taxable income owed to them toward charities if they benefit directly from them, unless the person declares the income on their personal tax forms. Since Trump has yet to release his tax returns as of 2018, the Post couldn’t confirm if Trump declared the income for any of the received donations.

The Trump Foundation received at least $1.9 million from ticket broker Richard Ebbers who had bought goods, services, including tickets from “Trump or his businesses.” He was allegedly instructed to pay for them to the Trump Foundation in the form of charitable contributions instead as Trump Organization income.

Donald Trump had his money from his WWE appearances directed as donations to the Trump Foundation totaling to $5 million. I guess it was to avoid taxes since he doesn’t like paying them.

In 2007 and 2009, the Trump Foundation received a total of $5 million in donations from World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon and his wife Linda. Trump appeared twice for WrestleMania events in those years. The 2007 donation was $1 million while the 2009 one was $4 million. The WWE later told The Huffington Post that, “during this period of time, WWE paid Donald Trump appearance fees separately,” and “separately, [WWE chief executives] Vince and Linda McMahon made personal donations to Donald Trump’s foundation.”

In 2007, the Celebrity Fight Night Foundation hosted a fundraiser to benefit the Muhammad Ali Parkinson’s Center in Phoenix, Arizona. According to a CFNF spokesperson, in return for Donald Trump’s appearance and his offering a New York-based dinner with himself at auction, Trump stipulated that the Parkinson’s charity share the total auction proceeds with the Trump Foundation, which totaled to $150,000 that would’ve otherwise gone to the center benefitted Parkinson’s Disease research.
Other donations made to the Trump Foundation that might’ve been in return for Donald Trump’s personal work include:

$400,000 from Comedy Central for Trump’s attendance at a celebrity roast in his honor.

$150,000 from People Magazine in return for exclusive photos of Trump’s son, Barron.

$500,000 from NBC Universal in 2012 while airing Trump’s show, The Apprentice.

$100,000 from the family of Donna Clancy, whose family law office had been renting space at the Trump Organizations 40 Wall Street building.

$100,000 in 2005, for Melania Trump’s work for Norwegian Cruise Lines on a segment later included on The Apprentice. A company spokesperson confirmed that Melania’s appearance fee was paid in a Trump Foundation donation

Granting money to charities that rented Trump Organization facilities

These people are protesting the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for holding events at Trump resorts. Good thing, since Donald Trump earns money from their fundraisers than what his foundation gaves to them.

Donald Trump has been accused of directing money toward several charities that in turn paid the Trump Organization to host charity events at Trump-owned resorts and golf clubs. High-profile charity events at Mar-a-Lago cost as much as $300,000. Notable examples include:

In 2010, Donald Trump was personally honored by the Palm Beach Police Foundation after the Trump Foundation donated to the charity $150,000 during the 2009-2010 period. According to the police foundation’s public tax records, the Palm Beach Police Foundation paid the Trump Organization $276,463 in rent in 2014 for it “Police Ball and Auction” held at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago hotel. The 2014 tax filings also lists $44,332 in unattributed “direct expenses” the police foundation paid for the same event along with $36,608 in “direct expenses” for its annual “Golf Classic” it holds yearly at a Trump Organization-owned golf course. For each of the 4 years prior to 2014, the police foundation’s public tax records show significant “direct expenses” incurred for both the Police Ball and Auction and the golf tournament. Though filings don’t list expense categories.

In 2013, according to The Washington Post, Donald Trump donated to the V Foundation, a cancer-fighting founded by former basketball coach Jim Valvano, in return for the V Foundation hosting a fundraiser at his Trump Winery in Virginia.

The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute paid the Trump Organization substantial fees to hold annual events at Mar-a-Lago. In turn, the Trump Foundation granted a total of $85,000 to the Institute in 2006 and 2007, among other grants in subsequent years.

Donald Trump often likes to boast about his philanthropy. But in reality, he often donated to charity using other people’s money from his Trump Foundation personal piggy bank. And he’s said to be one of the least charitable billionaires to date.

In 2016, both Fox News and The Washington Post reported that Donald Trump has repeatedly claimed in public to have made over “$102 million” in charitable donations “in the past five years.” The Trump Organization provided journalists with a 93-page donation list. None of the cash donations were confirmed to come from Trump personally while many were grants from the Trump Foundation, which no longer contained any of his own money.

For instance, Donald Trump took personal credit while honored for a Trump Foundation grant to the Palm Beach Police Foundation that actually came from an outside source. Though he pledge money personally before the Trump Foundation solicited $150,000 earmarked for the police foundation from an unrelated philanthropic organization, the Charles Evans Foundation. It took that money and paid it to the Palm Beach charity. The police then personally honored Trump with its annual Palm Tree Award at his Mar-a-Lago hotel during its annual fundraiser. The Washington Post wrote that, Trump had effectively turned the Evans Foundation’s gifts into his own gifts, without adding any money of his own.”

The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute has honored Donald Trump variously as “Grand Benefactor” and “Grand Honorary Chair” at its annual fundraisers held at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. However, Trump may have also earned money from the event fees he received from the Institute than the Trump Foundation paid to them in grants. Since 2010, Trump has directed at least $300,000 in Trump Foundation grants to the Institute.
On his prime-time TV show, The Apprentice, Donald Trump has received highly visible praise for his personal generosity on multiple occasions. He’s frequently offered to make generous donations to his contestants’ charities. But records show that he ultimately directed the Trump Foundation to make a grant or instead had the show’s network, NBC Universal to make the donation instead. Examples include:

A 2008 episode where Donald Trump told mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz, “I think you’re so incredible that — personally, out of my own account — I’m going to give you $50,000 for St. Jude’s [children’s hospital].” St. Jude’s is also Eric Trump’s favorite charity. Trump then had the Trump Foundation make a $50,000 grant to the children’s hospital.

In 2012, Donald Trump promised at least 6 personal $10,000 donations each to contestants’ chosen charities on a Celebrity Apprentice episode. In another episode from the same season, he pledged $10,000 to contestant Aubrey O’Day’s chosen charity, a gift “that moved [contestant and comedienne Lisa] Lampanelli to tears.” According to The Washington Post’s review of the tax filings, Trump directed all this money to be granted to the charities out of Trump Foundation funds.

In 2013, Donald Trump promised personal $20,000 donations each to charities of basketball star Dennis Rodman, singer La Toya Jackson, Playboy Playmate Brande Roderick, and actor Gary Busey. Trump then used Trump Foundation money to make the payments. He told them, Remember, Donald Trump is a very nice person, okay?” According to a Washington Post reporter reviewing the show’s transcripts, by 2013, “contestants had come to expect these gifts — and even to demand them, when Trump didn’t offer money on his own.”

For a $14,000 gift to the Starkey Hearing Foundation, a Marliee Matlin’s chosen charity, Donald Trump was credited this this “personal donation” though it actually came from the Trump Foundation.

Other alleged examples include:

In 2009, Donald Trump appeared on Extra where he promised to pay a struggling viewer’s domestic bills. “This is really a bad time for a lot of people,” he said as the contest was announced. Trump eventually paid the winner with Trump Foundation money. A Trump representative later explained the grant was legal because the winner qualified as an “indigent” individual under Internal Revenue Code section 4945(d)(3), a contention at least one tax expert has disputed.

Donald Trump was honored with a chair and a plaque with his name at the Raymond J. Kravis Center of the Performing Arts after the Trump Foundation donated $10,000.

In 2014, Donald Trump took personal credit for a $25,000 Trump Foundation grant at a speech honoring slain journalist, James Foley. At the time The New Hampshire Union Leader published an article titled Trump leads tribute for slain journalist James Foley. Foley was posthumously awarded the 12th annual Nackey S. Loeb First Amendment Award, “given annually to New Hampshire organizations or residents who protect or exemplify the liberties listed in the First Amendment to the Constitution.” Trump was the ironic, “featured speaker of the event.” Compare this to how Trump regularly attacks the media for reporting negative stories about him instead of lavishing him with unearned praise like Fox News does. Or how he’s willing to defend Vladimir Putin or the Saudi Arabian Crown Prince despite that these 2 have had journalists murdered.

In 2016, Donald Trump received personal praise for a $100,000 Trump Foundation grant to the National September 11 Memorial Museum ahead of the 2016 New York State Republican primary.

Making grants to other private foundations without fulfilling IRS “expenditure responsibility” rules

By law, the Trump Foundation was responsible for ensuring that any grant it takes to another private foundation is strictly used for charitable purposes. To fulfill this IRS “expenditure responsibility” the foundation is required to attach “full and detailed” reports describing the grant money’s uses to its IRS 990 tax return for each year to a private foundation is made. Trump Foundation tax returns show it failing to do this all of the 20 grants it made to private foundations from 2005-2014. Such grants in this period totaling to $488,500 could be subject to significant fines and penalties.

In 2015, Ukrainian Victor Pichkun donated $150,000 to the Trump Foundation in return for Donald Trump’s video conference link appearance at the Yalta European Strategy Conference. The appearance was broadcast on a large screen and lasted 20 minutes, including translation and technical difficulty delays. Pichkun is the son-in-law of former Ukranian president Lionid Kuchima. In 2018, the New York Times reported that Special Counsel Robert Mueller was investigating this donation as a possible illegal in-kind foreign national campaign contribution intended to curry favor with then-candidate Donald Trump.

Balloons often serve as trappings at parties and celebrations. While the rubber balloon was invented by Michael Faraday during experiments with various gases, some of the earliest of these were made out of dried animal bladders like a pig’s. Aside from rubber, modern balloons can be made of latex, polychloroprene, or nylon as well as come in a variety of different colors. Most of the time, we use balloons for decorations and entertainment. Though others can be used for practical purposes like meteorology, medical treatment, military defense, or transportation. Yet, I kind of covered the transportation part in a post last year on hot air balloons. Anyway, when you go to a party, you might be familiar with the idea of balloon animals like you see above. Well, do a Google search on balloon sculpture and you’ll find plenty of things people have made with balloons. Some of them for contests. Still, some might be of the simple balloon dog kind, there are plenty that can be rather elaborate. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of stunning balloon sculptures.

Clowns must always come stacked together.

Clowns have been long associated with balloons. Still, if you add one more, the whole thing can topple.

2. Mr. Potato Head always likes to party.

Though if he gets too drunk he might lose some of his facial features. Or arms or legs, possibly.

3. The mighty griffin always sits with grace.

You can tell because it has a tail and paws. Real eagles have claws and tail feathers.

4. Care to listen to this juke box?

Well, you won’t be hearing tunes from this one. But it’s great for a 1950s theme party.

5. This balloon girl has bouncing pigtails.

She even wears a pink dress with a flower on it. So adorable.

6. You’d revel over this inflatable grand piano.

Though be careful if you opt to touch it. Because it can easily pop. Also, don’t try to play it.

7. Hugging bears always enjoy a balloon ride.

Though they’re on a raft instead of a basket. Love the rainbow hot air balloon though.

8. Better to have a blue bird in your hand than 2 in a bush.

This is by a balloon artist as you can see. And I think it’s bigger than the real thing.

9. A rainbow can always make your days better.

This one has a rainbow in the clouds. Tubes for colors. round ones for clouds.

10. Want to swing together?

Seems like these 2 were made for each other. Though I have no idea what’s on the guy’s head.

11. A fairy princess is always happy with her flowers.

She carries a wand and wears a crown. While the flowers surround her. So adorable.

12. The doctor will see you now.

Well, these are doctor balloons. One of them has a surgeon’s cap and mask.

13. A single balloon is not enough to reach enlightenment.

Yes, this is a Buddha balloon sculpture. And I’m sure some Buddhists won’t be pleased.

14. Check out her new pink purse.

She wears a long green dress with polka dot balloons at the bottom. And yes, she’s ready to party.

15. Someone must’ve upset the earthen vessel.

This is a balloon water scene. Has rocks and trees joined at the top.

16. Saddle up on this little horsey.

On second thought, better not. Because it’ll go pop if you sit on it.

17. A butterfly always loves a flowery tree.

Seems like it was made for a party. While the butterfly is so colorful and shiny.

18. “I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.”

However, I don’t think you can save the world in a suit made out of inflated rubber. But it’s a nice resemblance that will make Tony Stark proud.

19. Wouldn’t you love to be in this gingerbread house?

Hey, at least you won’t eat anything from it. Great for any Christmas party. So charming.

20. Perhaps you’d want a shiny rose bouquet.

Contains pink and purple roses. Perfect for any table.

21. Grace your party with an inflated peacock.

Comes with 3 lilies. Though best not to touch it or it will deflate.

22. Any child would enjoy a balloon Big Bird.

Wonder if they had this at Carol Spiney’s retirement party. Still, this is so cute.

23. Perhaps you might want to drive this semi.

Yes, this is a balloon semi truck. I’m sure who had to blow into this is all tuckered out already. Okay, they probably used an air pump, but still.

24. Nobody could resist a cupcake like this.

Even has sprinkles on it. Wonder how you inflate them.

25. Hope you can see with these glasses.

Comes on its own stand. Though it doesn’t have any lenses.

26. Now you, too can ride upon a purple horse.

Okay, you can ride on a balloon horse. Even has a long flowing mane, too.

27. Bet you didn’t think to see a rooster like this at the crack of dawn.

Sure he may not crow, but that might be a bonus. Comes with a couple of flowers.

28. Parisians would marvel at this balloon Eiffel Tower.

This one even lights up. Didn’t know a balloon display can do that.

29. Hope you don’t get karate chopped by this guy.

Yes, that’s a balloon karate guy. And he’s ready to deflate anyone who stands in his way.

30. Perhaps you’d like a fairy garden entrance.

Includes a large flower and tree. And I’m positive that it’s for a little girl’s birthday party.

31. Bet you’ve never seen a flower like this before.

This balloon flower reaches the ceiling of this building. Hope it doesn’t wilt.

32. Eek! Giant bug! Kill it with fire!

Actually it’s a fly made out of balloons. Even has clear balloon wings.

33. Beware of the ferocious fire-breathing dragon.

Doesn’t look particularly vicious. Though he has a whole space all to himself.

34. A windmill will do quite well beside a waterfall.

Indeed, you can make whole scenes from balloons. But the windmill seems kind of out of place.

35. A balloon house can be especially haunted.

Well, I know Halloween is over. But this is a balloon sculpture post so I’ll include it.

36. You’ll find this imposing mask hanging from the ceiling.

Wonder if this is for a superhero. But it’s perfect for a Comic Con.

37. Want to ride in this car?

It’s an old timey yellow car. While this guy is having a good old time.

38. This dalmation wants to give you flowers.

This dog loves has a nice bouquet of 3. So adorable.

39. This little raccoon has come out of its stump.

And it seems this little guy loves to smell the roses. Though I suppose it likes to eat from the garbage once in a while, too.

40. Looks like somebody spilled some beer.

Don’t worry since the froth is made form balloons. That ought to make you say, “dilly, dilly!”

41. With a steering wheel like this, it’s welcome aboard.

Guess this is for an ocean themed party. Yet, I think this wheel is too big for a ship.

42. A Chinese dragon is dazzling in the air.

This Chinese dragon is quite colorful and knows how to make an entrance. Wonder if it’s for a Chinese New Year party.

43. “Dinner is served.”

Of course, he didn’t cook the food. Though he’s dressed as a chef in balloons.

44. “This is the night, it’s a beautiful night…”

This a balloon version of the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti dinner scene. And yes, it’s amazing.

45. Perhaps you might like a white balloon dress.

Yes, they have balloon outfits. Don’t know why these don’t pop. Or how these people manage to sit down.

46. Jazz it up with a giant light-up saxophone.

Yes, it’s a light up balloon sax. Perfect for a party featuring jazz music.

47. A snow queen should always look resplendent.

Yes, it’s another balloon dress. But I think you’ll see it again when Lady Gaga wears it at an awards ceremony.

48. You never know what can come from the rainbow.

Includes cats and a large swan. Makes you want to be there.

49. Care for an inflatable Easter basket?

Includes a bunny, eggs, and daffodils. So cute.

50. Would you like a cup of coffee?

Well, it’s quite small enough to put on a table. And it’s always steaming hot.

51. “All we are saying is give peace a chance.”

Nice how it’s all in rainbow colors. So pretty.

52. This little leopard wants to be your friend.

Don’t worry, it won’t bite you. Since it’s all made out of rubber anyway.

As of 2018, we don’t know whether the Trump campaign willingly colluded with Russia in its efforts to undermine the 2016 election. But we do know that Russia hacked into DNC emails and spread fake news propaganda on social networks to help Donald Trump. We know the Russians wanted Trump to win and did whatever they could to accomplish that. We know the Trump campaign was at least okay with the Russian hacking and efforts. Hell, one Trump campaign official even drunkenly bragged about the Russians hacking into Hillary Clinton’s emails. And we know that several Trumpworld figures have corresponded with Russian hackers, Russian oligarchs, and people with ties to the Russian government. Furthermore, Trump has praised Russian President Vladimir Putin in his speeches, even when he’s every opportunity to criticize the Kremlin dictator. Though collusion hasn’t been proven, what we do know of Trumpworld’s connections with Russia gives us a reasonable case for Robert Mueller to investigate.

On November 9, 2016, just a minutes after Donald Trump was elected president of the United States, a man named Vyacheslav Nikonov made a very unusual statement in the Russian State Duma. “Dear friends, respected colleagues!” he said. “Three minutes ago, Hillary Clinton admitted her defeat in US presidential elections, and a second ago Trump started his speech as an elected president of the United States of America, and I congratulate you on this.” Since Nikonov is the leader of the pro-Putin United Russia Party, his announcement that day was a clear signal that Trump’s victory was a victory for Putin’s Russia.

Longtime journalist Craig Unger has attempted to gather all the evidence we have of Donald Trump’s connections to the Russian mafia and government and lay it all out in a clear, comprehensive narrative in his book, House of Trump, House of Putin: The Untold Story of Donald Trump and the Russian Mafia. Though the book claims to tell the “untold story,” it’s not entirely unclear of how much is new. Because like a lot of the skeletons in Trump’s gilded closet, one of the hardest things to accept about the Trump-Russia saga is how transparent it is. In fact, so much evidence hides in plain sight, and somehow that’s made it more difficult to accept. In his book, Unger names 59 Russians as Trump business associates and follows the purported financial links between them and the Trump Organization, going back decades. Many of them are quite shady. Although Unger doesn’t provide any evidence that Trump gave Russia anything concrete in return for their help, the case he makes for how much potential leverage the Russians have over Trump is damning. In fact, Unger thinks Russia’s use of Trump constitutes “one of the greatest intelligence operations in history,” as he puts in his book.

As Craig Unger claims. what most Americans don’t understand is that the Russian mafia is different from the American mafia. While American crime syndicates are often targets for FBI investigation, the mafia is essentially a state actor in Russia. When asked about the mafia, former KGB Russian counterintelligence operations Gen. Oleg Kalugin told Unger, “Oh, it’s part of the KGB. It’s part of the Russian government.” In Russia, there’s no Wall Street or anything like Goldman Sachs. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, rich gangsters and government officials were able to privatize and loot state-held assets in coal, oil, minerals, and banking. In Vladmir Putin’s Russia, criminal syndicates have become increasingly intertwined with its intelligence services, blurring the line between mafia dons and spies. In fact, Russia expert Mark Galeotti would agree with Unger since he wrote in his book, The Vory: Russia’s Super Mafia that Putin’s Kremlin consolidated power by “not simply taming, but absorbing, the underworld.” Putin didn’t care what these gangsters did as long as they strengthened his power and personal financial interests. Since the 1990s, its estimated that some $1.3 trillion has flowed out of Russia.