Keep saying I'll quit but haven't yet

I have a lot of reasons for wanting to leave, mostly because the job is too far from home (1 and a half hours), all the locals think I’m crazy when they hear where I commute to. The office used to be a little closer but it moved a few months ago.

This was never meant to be a temporary job. I just do office work but it’s not something I’d plan on doing a year from now. I’ve been here 8 months and wonder when I’ll move on.

These past few months my manager doesn’t tell me when things are due and when I do find out I have to scramble. It’s getting really frustrating. This morning I got an email to remember to submit something ASAP that I never got a deadline for in the first place. There are other issues that I don’t feel like getting into.

The big reason I haven’t quit is because my husband doesn’t love his job either. He’s had to work a few 24 hour shifts and last night he came home at 2am. Today it looks like he’ll come the same time again. It’s exhausting and I would feel guilty if I quit knowing that his job is more demanding, but he actually has a career job and I don’t. When we got our apartment, it was only with his income in mind so I don’t necessarily need to be working. I guess the difference would be we’d have less saved and wouldn’t eat out and stuff as much but I’d be able to manage cleaning at home and doing laundry and cooking dinner every weekday night.

So I dunno. I’ve been meaning to apply to more jobs near home, but haven’t done it nearly enough. Husband also got a small raise this week and will likely get another raise in October. So that makes me feel a little more motivated to quit.

The thing that sucks is that I’ve been considered for some jobs in my desired field, only to not make the cut later in the interviewing process. I wonder if I did quit first, maybe I’d have more time and energy to put into making that happen.

I’m sorry to hear that you hate your job/work! I think you’re smart not to leave your job without another one lined up so I wouldn’t quit yet. Just remind yourself that your job is just that – a job. It isn’t who you are. And, remember, you’re only there because you want to be.

@mnp: Yeah, at the beginning I used to be very grumpy from work and H was like that too but we try not to bring work home with us. It’s just hard when you’re barely home but we just went away for a long weekend for H’s birthday and I wouldn’t have been able to afford that without the job.

I just got back in this morning and got an email saying that our deadline has been pushed ahead. Things that were due Thursday are now due tomorrow and we should have done everything by now, even though no one ever told us this.

What would look worse though, if I got fired or if I quit? Just wondering, I have no idea how that looks from a hiring perpsective.

@tmsing: I’m not in HR but from my boss (she’s an HR manager) quitting looks better than firing. However, there is a silver lining to getting fired, you could file for unemployment and give yourself a few months time to line up another job.

I’m trying to push through work right now. DH and I are trying to save for a big down payment for a house. And, we wanted to seriously start looking for a house in early 2014 so until then, I don’t want to do anything drastic and lose my income.

Are there any positives to work? Do you like your coworker? Do you like the work you do?

@mnp: I figured as much since being fired indicates that you’ve screwed up whereas quitting could mean something else. If I was in the latter position I could just say that the commute was too long, which is also true.

I do like my coworkers but I’m not sure if that’s enough to keep me here. I should have mentioned earlier–I never applied for this job. My aunt, who works in another department, asked me for my resume and then gave it to the person who is now my boss. Basically my interview was them asking me if I was interested or not. Once in a while my aunt will come over to my desk and baby me…I am the baby of the family and it’s embarrassing but I got used to it. She worries about everything and it does get annoying, as much as I do care about her as a family member. And she always expects me to have lunch with her.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful for the job, I just constantly find myself wanting to move on. While it would be cool to be able to afford a house sooner than later, I don’t make a lot of money right now as it is. I’m only putting a few hundred dollars into my savings each month, and I end up spending at least $400 a month for transport and food I eat at work.

I can’t really say I like the work I do. It is very corporate and it’s just not my thing.

@tmsing: I wouldn’t quit without having another job lined up. The economy is tough and jobs are not easy to come by. It doesn’t make sense to make yourself become unemployed. Lots of folks hate their jobs, but if they were supposed to be fun then they would be called work.

If you quit this job, and aren’t able to find another one, you’ll just be in a worse place. Unless, of course, your husband can fully support you and you don’t want to work anymore at all.

Commit to applying to 5 jobs every other day – the more you spread your seed, the better chances you’ll have of finding something that works for you.

You can also try to communicate better with your boss. Management works both ways – you have to manage people who work under you, but also manage expectations with supervisors. Maybe try sending your boss an update every Monday with clear dates that you plan on having things done? That way, if your boss needs something adjusted, you can figure it out then and not right before he needs it.

@QueenieB: Exactly this. I have folks reporting to me and they always ask, “what is the deadline?” or “when do you need this for?” I appreciate that they are on top of managing themselves, their time, and their priorities. I don’t want to baby-sit my employees, I expect them to take accountability for bringing a project to fruition after I’ve assigned it to them.

@MrsPanda99: If I quit I’d go back to freelancing until I found something full-time. But I would be making a fraction of what I make now.

Periodically we are given assignments where it’s literally impossible to meet everything the client wants by the deadline they want. And I do get afraid I’ll get fired because they keep lighting a fire under our butts, as another coworker said.

Is it so bad that I kind of sort of really want to be a homemaker? I feel like people would be disgusted with me if I even said that, but I’m pretty decent at it. I know people will keep mentioning the economy but H is employed and just got a raise and he will get another one in the fall. I guess we’re straddling upper lower and lower middle class, but we live below our means and are still happy.