The Myth of Dating the Albanian Girl

I always find hilarious reading topics like “the perfect woman”, “how to seduce a man”, “10 naughty secrets”, ” 30 things to do to a naked man” , “how to land a date”, and so on… the list gets endless in women and fashion magazines around the globe. Therefore, looking at the article Would You Date: the Albanian Girl which I found randomly at Elite Daily, immediately triggered funky thoughts. I was right. The dating guide to the Elite globetrotting men this time offered pros and cons of dating The Albanian Girl. I don’t know what irritated me most, likely the pros, but nevertheless I found it pretty entertaining.

Long Summer nights at Padam, Tirana

Pros: Domesticated- “In a period where women are overly preoccupied with “who are you wearing”, “how they can get their hands on the latest fashion”, or “how they can find a man who will buy them whatever they desire,” it is difficult to find that particular girl that knows how to treat a man. Because many Albanian families are very traditional, it is almost guaranteed that she is more than capable of preparing a good meal and actually knows how to do laundry well”. Are you serious? Since when dressing up is not part of the Albanian culture or since when women who actually follow fashion do not qualify as family-oriented? Who on earth are those “Elite guys” wanting a wife only for being capable of preparing a good meal and doing laundry? It’s true that families in Albania are rather conservative and traditional, like it’s true that more young women are keened on embracing western values, getting educated, and working hard to be independent.

Make Good Wives- Wow, I didn’t know that we deserve that stupid title “A good Wife Material” or “You can count on an Albanian woman to stick by her man no matter how difficult things get financially. Even if her man is in the wrong, an Albanian woman will be understanding and stick by her man.” Not that having a loyal woman by your side it’s not essential, actually it’s very important, but nowadays Albanian women are not much different from their western counterparts. I’m just being honest here. The number of divorces in Albania not only is constantly increasing, but are mainly women filing for it. To some extend this is even good news for us since it means we’re getting more free and capable of taking life into our own hands rather than living an unhappy married life. I guess the wrong perception derives from the communism decades where divorce was almost illegal and society back then was heavily stigmatizing a divorced couple; therefore women were obliged to “stick by their man” no matter what.

Presentable– “They take care of themselves, are very fashionable, and present themselves in a manner that is classy and sophisticated without coming off as haughty. Not only are they well dressed, but Albanian women also take pride in how they present themselves in the public sphere. You will never need to stress over being embarrassed by harlot-esque actions from an Albanian woman”. I tend to agree with this one 😉

Sex: The average Albanian household is known to be strict, especially for the women. This however does not deter our beloved Albanian women from getting down in the bedroom. She will come off as modest in public, but once the lights are off and the door is closed you must be prepared for the inner freak to come out. Behind closed doors these women have some moves reminiscent of some of your wildest fantasies”. I have NO comment on that, but I LOL when I read another user’s comment “At least they got one thing right”.

Picture of Fadil Berisha -retaken at Pedonale street expo, Tirana

Cons: Gossipers– “Gossip plays a big part in the lives of women within the Albanian community. If you notice that your girlfriend is prominent in her social media sphere and changes her Facebook profile picture frequently, you might have a heavy gossiper on your hands. Social media will ruin this relationship because if she is stalking others, rest assured that she is taking note of your actions as well”. Well, I really find amusing the correlation between the frequency of changing the profile picture and a gossiper, but don’t forget that many couples throughout the world hooked up or ended their relationships through Facebook. But seriously, the problem shouldn’t be the “stalkers”, the problem should rather be the lame cheaters out there. This so reminds me an Albanian joke: A villager complained to his fellows that someone stole his cow last night, and they all start blaming him why he let that happen. The grieving villager listen to them and added: So, all the fault is mine, but the one who actually stole the cow is not to be blamed?

Questionable Past Relationships– “Never under any circumstance fall for the “You’re the first guy I’ve spoken to” or “I really don’t talk to guys like you” line. In most cases, it is a complete lie. Since many Albanian households are strict, Albanian women must find creative ways to circumvent the overbearing rules of their strict parents. This includes keeping some of their darkest and dirtiest secrets under wraps for extensive periods of time. Trust me, if they are good at keeping secrets from those closest to them, just imagine the past experiences she is keeping from you.” This does sound too paranoid and teenage-like issue to me. Parents asks to come home not too late so I tell a little lie to come around the situation or I keep a little secret for myself. It’s true that being open about past or private life is not a common quality for many Albanians, but still there’s no need to freak out, especially if you’re in a mature relationship.At the end our family ties usually are too strong to keep skeletons in our closets.

Jealousy- “Home grown Albanian women tend to be territorial. Once you are theirs, you are theirs and no one else’s. Albanian women have difficulties with sharing. They are highly aware of their surroundings, so a wrong look from another girl can cause quite the commotion” Yes, we don’t like to share our man, but who would want actually…unless you’re into that swing couple stuff or you’re too hooked on threesomes, I have a hard time believing that other women out there like to share their man or have him flirt around. Plus, Albanian girls are extremely intuitive. So in case you’re playing the audacious smart ass with her just do a favor to yourself and avoid that, it won’t work. She will know you lied before you even realized you did;)

Younger friends in South Albania

In the end it needs a no brainier that all this is not to be taken too seriously, since we are generalizing. If not, who’s the representation model of the Albanian girl? Is this sample girl coming from some remote village, big enough county, little town, city? What’s her education level or professional background? What looks are like or they’re all hot Mediterranean babes? I’m born, raised and lived most of my life in Albania and if you would ask me on this I would say; this all –inclusive stereotyping is not the right way to go. It usually carries elements of stigma, prejudice, verbal insult, or slur that encompasses the entire group. Rather go for the communication approach, chat, talk, or write and you’ll find out by yourself about the Albanian Girl.

40 thoughts on “The Myth of Dating the Albanian Girl”

I find myself in great difficulty in countering the description of the Albanian girl brought above (PS. the description of the woman in bed was perfect, I suppose LOL), however, I agree with the Albanian woman as a mix of traditional and modernity. I hate those women who complicate life by copying the beauty and modernity of vip-s. The beauty of Albania is beautiful as it is, without needing to look likes Heidi Klum and Miranda Kerr

Great post. I don’t understand the point of articles like the one you rebutted. They make it seem like all Albanian women are the same, it’s ridiculous. I’ve known many Albanian women over the years and some are shy, some are very modern, some are traditional, some smoke a lot while others never smoke.

Bravo – very well written. And i absolutely couldn’t agree more that the initial article is nothing more than a generalization among women of one culture. Actually, we can say those ‘pros and cons’ for any culture in Easter Europe, or middle east. Personally i think the writer must have had a bad experience or two and felt compelled to share the knowledge that he’d discovered about these women 🙂

Thanks a lot. I’m glad you share the same views. The thing is that everyone knows that these sort of articles out there are just a buzz to sell, but still, I think we should react when possible to smooth the stereotypes…

great post Armela. I was also surprised to read the article at Elite Daily and wondered how the author came up with such a mix of traits, including the social media one lol. I am glad you wrote about it:)

this is a very beautiful article related our society congrats for this prospect view of yours which is partly true because the other part of it is completely different and we both know it as we live it. p.s i would prefer the critical point of view , for next time. thnks

I dont think the “social media sphere” is becoming a problem or ruining a couple life. and in the past always was a space to cheat or to have an affair, i heard a lot of saying facebook is ruining a girl’s life or a boy’s life. If he/she love somoeone must be very simple not to joke around but stay strong on that relationship. I think social media sphere isnt for the weakest people who arents strong to control their feelings or trust.

Interesting post. In my experience, while generalizing is unhelpful, there can be found societal and cultural traits that are distinctive of any given people. Compared to other European womem, I’d have to day that Albanians tend to be: explosively jealous – a polite nod in the general ditection of the hotel reception, unnacompanied by look not smile cost me a 5-minute dressing and hours of sulking, skype calls to my sister put my scalp at
risk; well groomed with a propension to overdressing; capable and independente, while adeptos até feigning a sexy helplessness that insecure men so crave; extremely loyal… and yet terrible flirts and really private and secretive; tender, caring, romantic and até times suffering lovers; rather shy with a somewhat prudish disposition… bit well capable of spending a full monyh wages in risqué lingerie…

Have to completely agree with the post above. It starts ok, then the “I don’t like you doing this, I don’t like you doing that begins”. It quickly runs into you having to make a daily report of where you have been and what you have been doing. Forget your long standing female friends, whom no matter how many years you have been friends with, have never had sex with, nor kissed. They Must be forgotten. Getting an SMS from a woman is a big problem. Talking about other women in work is a big problem, and it goes on. Then after all the jealously, she will happily dress like a hooker and hoop it up in a club while all the young Albanian jocks rule.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking because of the cultural stigma of an Albanian woman with a foreign man, you might be able to sneak a low profile relationship with nice company. Because I thought that too, it really is one coffee, two coffees, third coffee now come and meet my Father.

And finally. If you want to date an Albanian woman. You should first ensure some basic criteria are fulfilled. 1) Not divorced, no ex-husband, because he will still consider her personal property and want to kill you. 2) No brothers, because they will want their sister to marry an Albanian man, and Albanian men always want to marry a virgin. 3) If her Father is dead, doesn’t sound nice, but it will make your life easier.

An Albanian girlfriend and a few dates later, I am by far the wiser, and fortunately still alive.

As for the comments about cultural generalisations, well, if if had no cultures, then there would be no generalisations about them.

Aaah, Albania, for those in the know, Skiporiya (written in English, please do not get upset!).

Albanian women are interesting. For those with experience of the Balkans and Turkey, you will notice cultural cross over with regards to appearance, behavior, and attitude. However, we are now in 2015 and the shadows of communism are well and truly gone, Albania now has a thriving economy, standards of living have gone up considerably from 1998. With these changes women have changed and so has the general attitude. You come across more independent and well established Albanian women then previously, also there is now an “urban chic” vibe in Tirana where designer labels rule and the drinks are as fancy as they are expensive! Do not for a minute think of Albania as a communist hell pot, its grown into a sexy, vibrant and interesting place!

Best advice, don’t believe everything you read. Go to Albania, meet women yourself, try to pick up some basic words of Albanian (nothing is more attractive than a bumbling tourist!), and enjoy. Simply, women are women, be yourself and remember you get what you give.

I have had a very negative experience with an Albanian girl. She was married. Used her kids to get close to me. Then jumped on me. You were right about the wild behind closed doors part. I pushed her off. told her no I can’t. She said why not. She left the kids alone, came down to have sex with me. To cheat on her husband who works all day to provide for her and the kids, and she couldn’t see what was wrong with that. Then after I turned her down she took the kids and drove drunk taking them to the park. She got pulled over and texted me. I’m a cop. I went down there. They had already let her go. One of the girls saw me and said how did you find us. How did you know we were here? I told her I had Pamela radar. I couldn’t say your mother has been trying to cheat on your father and has been texting me. After a little while she started making the kids run from me. She made them act like I didn’t exist. They would walk past me, not allowed to look or talk to me. It hurt like hell. I had gotten very attached. Three years later the nonsense continues. Plus we live next door to each other and her husband is the super. She taught her kids to be lying two faced disrespectful people. It broke my heart to see them grow up this way. It still hurts every day.

now days Albanian woman have lost the way in life or better said lost the lessons of their parents and learn from this world who don’t know where is going with all this image’s that you have to be and follow to fit in… most of Albanian woman’s are an offence to the Albanian culture because they have a man at home and …. or they go out with non Albanian man because that way no one knows what she have done.. she lies to parents and herself can you date a woman like this ?

That is not the reason and should not be the reason why not many Albanian girls date black or african guys. If the reason why not many Albanian girls date africans is because of the low number of blacks in Albanians lands in Balkans such as Albania, Kosovo, FYROM, Ulqin etc than is better for the Albanian nation to not exist anymore, it would be much more honorable.

The forefathers of the Albanian men ( who today are shadows of the past) have eaten gunpowder in place of bread for centuries, born and died in battlefields.

We speak Albanian today because of their manhood. The same Albanian men ruled and created states from Eastern europe to south of Sudan, created some of the first states in Europe since 800 BC, build one of the main Mediterranean powers known as the united Illyrian Kingdom in between 395-160 BC and ruled the roman Empire between 210 – 410 AD.

The same men formed in many cases the backbone of the Eastern Roman Empire and saved an entire European continent in the 15th century from the Ottoman invasion.

The same Albanian men reformed and ruled the Ottoman Empire with 36 Albanian Prime ministers and powerful ruling families and almost conquered it by 1835 with the Albanian-Arab armies of the Albanian Muhammed Ali Pasha and his Albanian dynasty of Egypt and Sudan.

The same Albanian men formed the first independent kingdoms or empires in Balkans in the 18th century known as Albanian Pashallakes.

The same Albanian mend reformed the academic system of the Ottoman Empire and presented the astro physics and encyclopedias to the backward ottoman environment.

The same men formed the core of the modern romanian nation with the 250 years contribution of the Gjikaj family.

I can continue endlessly.

Do not throw flames to Albanian men and do not mention such things anymore.

our blood and honor have been masacred these 75 years, but they are still thicker than water.

Please do not forget where you come from and remember that we are still here and the real Albanian men will come to power to save what has remained of our people and throw forever in the rubbish the centuries old albanian disunity and all the cultural and moral ( together with economical) destruction we have endured since 1944.

Mostly ofAlbanian girls are materialist and they dont respect their families they want to be similar to westerns going in nightclubs drinking having sex with the foreign peoples…the mentality dont exist anymore…they are so negative…p.s im albanian boy living this fucking reality…im sorry for this girls…please think about yourselves and your families…respect for other honest girls

I guess many people are fooled by the Albanian women. I visited Albania last year and yes there are many beautiful women , but the majority have no self respect. They dress like they need to always expose their bodies just to draw attention. They are very materialistic its all about money not caring about anything but money. They will not date a poor simple man.
Once they are married they cheat on their spouse especially when they move to other countries like Italy.
One thing I love of Albania is they stick together families are families , the brothers are very protective of their sisters but aren’t aware of their fb pics and their behavior.
I stayed in Albania 6weeks and I couldn’t believe the things I saw even my friends who are Albanian commented on his country and their
women. As walked down the strips shopping they looked at me like they knew I didn’t belong there , I guess I was dressed to classy.
As for the people who live in mountains its very different, they are amazing very welcoming and simple. But as for the city its a shame , actually the same day I got there ,I took a taxi and a girl walks up and hand out a advertisement of a strip club. I do know that prostitution is illegal there , but that’s because its so easy to get a women for sex for 20 bucks as my friend said’s you can have her all night.
Stealing is natural for them everywhere they go the majority steals., but then again their barely have jobs and if you find one it only pays 200.a month if you are lucky.
I honestly wish it was different because the country it self is beautiful from the beaches to the mountains. The people I did socialize with were good . So I guess I cant say they are all bad but the women they really need to seriously act more like ladies and not be exposing their bodies and cheat so much, then try to be innocent around their families.
I love to travel, It was my first time to Albania and for sure my last.

Not just your name ” Emilian” exist only among Albanians, but you are stereotypical Albanian even in your writing.

I guess you are born outside your native motherland or you are just a villager immigrant, i might be wrong of course.

Some things you have said are to a certain degree right, but you have exaggerated a lot like a typical albanian.

You might get a prostitute for 20 euros, that is a normal thing in the entire europe. Prostitution is not wide spread and it is not a phenomena like it is in Romania, Serbia, Bulgaria, Ukraine , Czech Republic, France, Germany etc , but it does exist. This means nothing, as albanians have 30 years exposed to the western degeneration.

On the other hand, most of ” native” prostitutes are local romas or gypsy minority.

You mentioned some strip club…

Strip clubs were open for the first time 4 years ago, while they have been a quiet widespread phenomena in entire europe since 40 years ago.

Even the girls in strip clubs are mostly serbian, romanian and bulgarian.

How do you dare and mention the thing steal??? How do they steal, do you understand what kind of retardation are you showing here?

I do not understand your inferiority complex problem and frankly I do not care.

All your post was senseless and contained only some truths.

Te truths are that albanians are loosing everything and soon will lose their women also if the real albanian men and the ” Fyrher do not come into power.

As someone who is married to an Albanian woman (almost 18 years) I find both the article and your comments to be fairly accurate. The truth is that Albanian women tend to be complex and can act like and be several different things on any given day

They are an integral pat of he Albanian nations, that has been part of these lands for at least 4,000 years ( as old as the Albanian language seems to be in the Balkans) and has created, managed or recreated some of the most powerful kingdoms or empires on earth, such as Illyian and Epirotic Kingdoms, Dardanian kingdom, united Illyrian kingdom, roman empire from 245 till 395 Ad, eastern roman empire( created by an illyrian emperor and managed by illyrian emperors till 585 AD), League of Lezhe ( savior of europe in the 15th century from ottomans), managing and reforming the ottoman empire for 190 years with 42 Albanian prime ministers, ceaing the modern states of Egyt and Sudan with the albanian dynasty of muhamed Ali and a huge empire that covered hose 2 states, saudi arabia and all Levant till Ankaka…Gjika family which ruled Walachia and Moldova for centuries, Arvanites that gave birth to modern greek nation, Albanian mercenaries called Stratiots which revolutionized warfare in europe by presenting light cavalry with generals of world wide standards such as Merkur Bua and Gorgio Basta etc etc etc…

In fact mixed marriages between Albanian girls and foreign men have increased a lot ( for albanian standards of course) and this must be stopped….

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Travelista meets Culturista

This blog is about my ongoing life journey, my hometown, places I have visited, people I have met, travels I have taken in Albania and abroad. I hope you can relate to it and find it entertaining.
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Armela

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