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I've been doing VERY well lately, I think, in prioritizing myself in my family. I've struggled so much (like many of you) with not interpreting my self-care as selfish behavior. Here are some of the changes I've made:

I am doing so much better at detaching & not getting drawn into RAH's dysfunctional orbit, lol. I finally got it through my thick skull (sort of) that when I have no control over the outcome, worrying & stressing over it helps nothing & but ALWAYS hurts me & leaves me emotionally drained.

I have started attending group reiki healing sessions on an almost weekly basis & it has been an INCREDIBLE experience. Reiki is like therapy without having to identify all the hurts & I have yet to walk away from a session without feeling like I've gained something, even just by unburdening some negative energy. The group I go to is pretty unique -any number of healers show up and treat everyone who shows up for healing. I've met so many talented people who use reiki, massage, quantum touch healing, etc. I brought my mom & her friend one week & their own experiences were just as amazing as mine. It's reallllllly helping to peel apart the layers of my emotional onion, kwim? It is the best night of my entire week, hands down!

Ironically, DD9 went with me one night out of desperation (RAH flaked on me at the last minute & I had no one to watch her & I was determined not to let his malfunction affect my progress) and she took to it like a duck to water. I noticed an immediate improvement in her anxiety and she has been taking lessons there every other Saturday ever since. She is learning guided meditation & how to listen to & trust her gut instincts. It has given us lots to talk about & since she's learning it from someone who is a better teacher than I am (lol) I think she is picking it up rather quickly. I can absolutely see her working in this field professionally one day.

I put my foot down about our finances & RAH's impulse spending. Bad enough that his drinking put us in the poor house but I could no longer stand him being so irresponsible & impulsive with *my* money now. I confiscated & shredded his credit & debit cards & have left him to deal with everything in cash. It has caused him some stress, but oh well..... I can't save him from himself & I won't stand by & watch him make a bad situation worse any longer. It is forcing him to learn to budget and work on learning how to better manage money. I was fully honest with him & told him he acts like an irresponsible teen when it comes to spending & me fixing it for him all the time is teaching him nothing. Sink or swim, friend.

DD & I have worked on redecorating an old dollhouse that was gifted to us by a friend of my mom's. It's a handmade house that is nearly 90 years old & working on it has my Inner Child positively GLOWING every time I work on it; I wanted one of these throughout my entire childhood. We turned it into a Fairy House, using crystals, stones, etc to decorate in addition to traditional dollhouse furniture. I have printed the chakra symbols in small 2"x2" pictures to hang on the walls like artwork.

I arranged to work from home 2 days per week over the summer while DD is out of school. She splits the other 3 days with my mom & sis so that is helping us save the cost of summer day camp, she's getting great quality time with everyone & I am removing myself from a very stressful & unfulfilling work environment. I'm also avoiding a long 40 mile round trip commute every day I do that, conserving my fuel & avoiding the anxiety of rush hour traffic. It has been more awesome than I can verbalize over the last 3 weeks. In the fall I will continue to work from home at least once per week. It has made hating my job a bit more palatable, lol.

I convinced one of my good friends (finally) to look into joining a gym with me so when she gets back from vacation next week we're on the hunt for the right one. I'm SUPER excited about this!

I planned a Girls Night In for my few friends for the weekend of the 4th & invited a good friend that reads tarot cards. The girls are SO excited! We're doing apps & drinks & taking turns getting our cards read & our chakras measured. (she has this amazing machine that reads your aura & shows you how open/closed each of the chakra energy centers is. It prints out a great color keepsake & I'm always in awe at it's accuracy.) Sis & I are having fun planning the menu.

This is SO silly but has been another great change - I am drinking the juice from 2-3 fresh lemons every day. I started it because the health benefits of lemons are amazing & I was having digestive issues that I could not fix no matter what I did..... but they disappeared once I happened to start the daily lemon intake so I finally put 2 & 2 together & realized what was happening. After just a couple of weeks I'm also noticing that my skin is getting clearer and my sweet tooth seems tamer.

I started drinking chamomile tea every night before bed instead of having a snack & I am sleeping like a CHAMP, yay!!

So - just thought I'd share some great changes I've been making and remind you all to make time FOR YOU some how, some way. When I first started posting here about a year ago, I couldn't fathom how I could or would be able to make these kinds of changes, but I'm finding that with each one the next one comes easier.

__________________
~FireSprite

The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to FireSprite For This Useful Post:

When I first started posting here about a year ago, I couldn't fathom how I could or would be able to make these kinds of changes, but I'm finding that with each one the next one comes easier.

Love all of it, but especially this, thank you for sharing your progress! Isn't it nice to look back and feel great about your life again? I too never thought I'd end up where I am, but here I am and I love it.

Do tell more about Reiki and lemon juice. I think I had one experience with reiki some years back. Or maybe I am confused, but it was amazing and I am a total skeptic. I had hiked the night before a training I was in, and I was miserably sore in the calves. A woman there convinced me to let her "draw the pain out" without actually touching me. She did, and it worked! The very next day I had zero soreness left. And usually soreness like that lasts a few days, even with stretching or yoga. Is this the same thing? She ran her hands over my legs repeatedly but never touched me once. It was totally weird! But I was sold...it really worked.

Now - lemon juice, straight? No water or sugar or anything?

__________________Make Mistakes! If you make mistakes, it means you are out there doing something. Neil Gaiman

Yep - that's reiki! Your experience sounds exactly like the types of physical healing I've seen (my mom has terrible back problems & felt incredible after just one session) but all of my healing has been primarily emotional. My acupuncturist & I have worked through almost all of my physical hurts, so when I have one now it is more often than not a manifestation of my emotional pain.

One session raised lots of questions about childhood pain & it led to a frank & open conversation with my mom about my AF. She was able to give me some great insights abut myself as a child in an alcoholic family from a different perspective & it was a good convo for BOTH of us.

Lemons - I add the juice to a cup of hot/warm water & yes, I'm a wimp so I add a bit of stevia to sweeten it. The hot water is important for waking the digestive system, etc in the morning, but I don't remember why now. It ends up being about half water/half lemon but I adjusted to the tartness in just a few days, surprisingly. The first thing I noticed was that 100% of my post-nasal drip issue & all of my sinuses cleared up within 36-48 hours. I had been having BIG problems with that since I got sick in January & it was driving me batty so having it clear up so quickly made me sit up & go back through my diet over the days prior to when I noticed it. I stopped the lemons for 3 days & sure as heck started to notice a build up in my sinuses.... started the juice in the mornings again & it's been gone since.

__________________
~FireSprite

The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FireSprite For This Useful Post:

I am dying to try Reiki. I have heard such amazing things about it. People have even recommended I have my cat Reikied (he is totally neurotic). They say they can do Reiki over the phone. I want to go in person first though...How important is it to find a really good Reiki master? Can I just look online for one in my area? (None of the people I know who have recommended it live in my area.) I also think it is very cool you have gotten your daughter into it.

And I'm going to try the lemon thing too!

__________________
Illuminated emancipation, freedom, unalloyed and untainted bliss await you, but you have to choose to embark on the Inward Journey to discover it." ~B.K.S.Iyengar

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Dreams - I found my Reiki practitioner through a referral, but IMO I think it's trial & error like with any other professional. Reiki is based in energy work, so having a good connection or feeling about the person you are seeing is a good indicator to me. You need to feel comfortable & safe with them just like you would any Dr or therapist. If they had a website, check it out.... if they work in a facility that offers classes or other types of sessions they might have a lot to offer. (Mine brings in speakers from all over - cystal bowl concerts, yoga, spiritual exploration/development classes, etc.)

Another thought on the lemons for you all - it can be highly corrosive to your teeth, so be aware! I try to drink mine down pretty quickly & then make sure to brush the residue off my teeth right away.

__________________
~FireSprite

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FireSprite For This Useful Post:

Another thought on the lemons for you all - it can be highly corrosive to your teeth, so be aware! I try to drink mine down pretty quickly & then make sure to brush the residue off my teeth right away.

I do believe it is better to wait awhile and let your saliva and other bodily processes do its thing with the lemon juice before brushing your teeth. The acidity of citrus has an alkaline effect in the body.

I remember hearing somewhere that if you brush right away it is more corrosive, as you're using the fresh acidity of the lemon in abrasing the tooth surfaces. Maybe, just swish and swallow with plain water would be good, if it bothers you.

The Following User Says Thank You to LivingNewToday For This Useful Post:

I do believe it is better to wait awhile and let your saliva and other bodily processes do its thing with the lemon juice before brushing your teeth. The acidity of citrus has an alkaline effect in the body.

I remember hearing somewhere that if you brush right away it is more corrosive, as you're using the fresh acidity of the lemon in abrasing the tooth surfaces. Maybe, just swish and swallow with plain water would be good, if it bothers you.

Ah, good advice! I have had problems with my teeth so I was trying to be extra careful & not give myself more problems that I don't need, lol.

It is so positive and inspiring to hear you taking such great care of yourself. That Reiki sounds amazing. I may have to look into it for myself. Redecorating the dollhouse, girls night etc are such fun things to look forward to. Thanks for sharing and serving as an inspiration to me on ways to help myself through this process. I hope to one day be as positive as you are

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I think I will try the lemon juice thing, although lemons are expensive up here in the arctic. I've been doing two things healthwise that I am thoroughly enjoying. One is taking 2 tablespoons of Omega oil each day. I take it straight with a water chaser. Actually doesn't taste bad after a few days...I kinda like it now. I had two joint injuries that are so much better after 3 months of this.

Secondly, I started working out. Really working out, on top of my favorite sports. One hour a day, 6 days a week, and then hiking or bike riding or skiing in the winter. But one hour of extreme work out (its a mix of yoga, pilates, plyometrics, resistance, and aerobics). I'm about 8 weeks in and down one pant size (close to two!) on top of slimming down in all areas and really toning up. It feels awesome! I look better, feel better, sleep better, and am generally in a more pleasant mood overall. And I swear folks, working out and getting the endorphins revving just makes life so much brighter!

It just feels good to take good care of ourselves, whatever form that may take. Even for just an hour a day.

Great thread, Firesprite! Very inspiring.
~T

__________________Make Mistakes! If you make mistakes, it means you are out there doing something. Neil Gaiman

I love your list, and all the wonderful things you're doing for yourself. The fun and creative project with your daughter, physical health and exercise, and fun!! What really comes through most is the tone of your post. You really seem to have a lot of positive energy for yourself and have been diving right into self- care. You're an inspiration!! Thank you, and keep up all the wonderful good works for yourself and your daughter!!!

I think I will try the lemon juice thing, although lemons are expensive up here in the arctic. I've been doing two things healthwise that I am thoroughly enjoying. One is taking 2 tablespoons of Omega oil each day. I take it straight with a water chaser. Actually doesn't taste bad after a few days...I kinda like it now. I had two joint injuries that are so much better after 3 months of this.

Secondly, I started working out. Really working out, on top of my favorite sports. One hour a day, 6 days a week, and then hiking or bike riding or skiing in the winter. But one hour of extreme work out (its a mix of yoga, pilates, plyometrics, resistance, and aerobics). I'm about 8 weeks in and down one pant size (close to two!) on top of slimming down in all areas and really toning up. It feels awesome! I look better, feel better, sleep better, and am generally in a more pleasant mood overall. And I swear folks, working out and getting the endorphins revving just makes life so much brighter!

It just feels good to take good care of ourselves, whatever form that may take. Even for just an hour a day.

Great thread, Firesprite! Very inspiring.
~T

YOU GO GIRL!!!

TG, that is exactly what I'm working toward. I want & NEED to start feeling better about myself physically & I am LAZY about exercise when I've been out of the habit for too long. It's d@mn hot here in South FL at this time of year but I managed to score one of those old steppers at a Goodwill so that I can walk inside when it's too hot outside. I HAVE GOT to get back on the exercise wagon, no more excuses!

I'm trying to make one change at a time instead of flooding myself with too many changes at once & then dropping them all out of frustration. (and feeling badly about myself for failing & damaging the self-esteem I'm trying to rebuild) I tell myself I'm just going to TRY it for 30 days & then reassess at that point, figuring by then it's become a habit. I'm about 3 weeks in with the lemon thing, 2 months or so in on using Reiki as a therapy. I also got a book on reiki that focuses on healing yourself so I'm hoping to read up on that over the weekend (we all have this ability, it's just a matter of opening up our minds & understanding how to manipulate/direct energy).

I'm going through lemons faster than I ever have before & I'm seriously considering looking into planting my own tree, lol. I originally wanted to do the Master Cleanse that uses lemons as part of a 10-day fast, but I'm too wimpy right now, it seems intense!

I did the lemon thing as part of a "raw/vegan cleanse" -- I mixture of an actual cleanse and just cleaning up the way I eat. I'm not even a real vegetarian, but I tend to eat vegetarian if I have to cook for myself. It overhauled the way I eat and I actually think the lemon was part of that. I think the smell, flavor, and the "clean" feeling in your body puts you in the mindset to make healthier decisions overall. My new thing is the VB6 thing, which is a new Mark Bittman book. The idea is to eat vegan before six and then eat what you want for dinner. I bring my lunch to work so it's not that bad, just fruit and veggie based until dinner.

This year I also discovered biking. A lot of friends had gotten into it and it looked intriguing. Luckily the baby loves it! We -- me DD2 and DS13 -- ride all over this side of town, going to the library, getting ice cream, and she rides in a little cart that I pull on the back. It's been great fun for us and not terribly expensive to get started. I found all the biking gear minus the helmets on Craigslist and learned how to fix/manage my bike online.

The new plan is to try running again. I've tried on and off for some time. I got a jogging stroller on Craigslist and some decent running shoes, so I don't have any excuses left. Maybe tonight? Help!

I'm not a skinny minnie by any means. I'm a big Midwestern girl and always have been. But I love the way I feel when I'm healthy, active, and DOING things. For so long my body was the site of trauma, a place of abuse and a target for abusers. When I deal with depression my body feels so heavy and cumbersome. I used to be a partier and a VERY heavy smoker. I struggle with the smoking, but I'm mostly happy without it in my life. Today I look for ways to find joy in my body that have nothing to do with other people or how I look. I want to fly! It's liberating.

__________________“You have to quit confusing a madness with a mission.”
― Flannery O'Connor, The Violent Bear it Away“If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre

Wow, Florence, GOOD STUFF!! The more I read about lemons, the bigger fan I become. I had been tossing the already-juiced peels into a pan of hot water on my stovetop to sanitize the air in my house (sometimes I also add a cinnamon stick) but I was reading today that I can also grind the peels & use them in baths, body scrubs, etc. I noticed that the dark circles under my eyes are lightening, that HAS to be due to the lemons as well.

I love how your healthy changes also include your kids!! I agree, I feel so much better when I am active. That's it! I'm making a commitment to myself that my next Big Change will be daily exercise. I think I'll shoot for 15-20 mins a day until I have built it into my lifestyle as a habit.

Thank you ALL for inspiring me, every one of you has made me feel good about the changes I am making in my life FOR ME.

As a different alternative to the lemon juice, I use lemon essential oil in water every day. I take an empty glass bottle, fill it with water, and then add a high quality essential oil(usually 3-4 drops of lemon) and we drink it throughout the day. It definitely helps me with some stomach issues, too.

I have been playing around with essential oils for years and use them every day for one thing or another. In the case of the lemon juice, the oil is cheaper than buying lemons when they're not in season, LOL!

Loving what everyone on this board is sharing on this thread, because it's great to hear how others are taking care of themselves. Funny, but I came on here for a few minutes before leaving for the health food store and I think I'm going to pick up fresh lemons just to try them as an alternative to the oils I use.

Thank you all for sharing what you are doing for yourselves - very inspirational! This thread prompted me to make a list of the things I can/have been doing for myself with 'what have I done for me today?' at the top and posted it on my bathroom mirror to help me focus on taking care of me & make sure that I'm taking time out to do something every day for myself. Thanks again!!

Liza, I'd be very interested to hear if you notice a difference switching to fresh lemons. I never thought of oils, but wonder if they contain the same amount of vitamins & potency as fresh?

It just struck me as highly ironic that we are all having this Lemon Discussion -I believe that lemons are especially cleansing/detoxifying to the liver & gallbladder, 2 of the most abused organs in every addict.