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FRONT PORCH STORIES: Love languages

There was a time my husband, John, would bring me flowers. Sometimes he would have them delivered by a florist, and other times he would pick them up from a store on his way home. My favorites were the ones he saw on the side of the road, simply plucked up because he was thinking of me.

About 15 years ago I asked him to save the money, that the side-of-the-road flowers are perfect, and I have no guilt when their beautiful petals begin to fade and it is time to toss them out. I guess that’s why, on the first day of spring, the fact John hung my hammock on the porch was like receiving a dozen roses.

Make that two dozen. Or better yet, a dozen roses every day with a pearl necklace tossed in.

Prior to the hammock installation, we had had a bit of discussion over what tasks needed to be done. My list included repairs to a fence and hanging the hammock. Those things were on his list but farther down. I figured the hammock and fence would happen eventually, but really, really needed those things done first.

A short time later, John came into the house. “Come outside,” he told me. “I want you to see something.”

He held the back door open for me. Seeing my hammock swaying in the breeze was the last thing I expected, but there it was, strung between two posts of our porch, inside the screen where the gnats, mosquitoes, love bugs and whatever else wouldn’t bother me. It was perfect, and I couldn’t ask for more. It was a great, great gift.

I tell my kids I’m a cheap date, but really I suppose someone’s time and consideration is a much more valuable and greater gift than anything received by the casual swiping of a bank card.

Years ago I read “The Five Love Languages” by Christian author Gary Chapman. Recognizing my “languages” immediately began to make life easier for me, especially since I’m a girl and, according to our culture, should want expensive gifts.

The book should be a curriculum requirement in high school so people could learn early on in life what their love language is.

Chapman’s book was first published in 1992 has sold more than 5 million copies. It’s a great handbook for anyone who wants to know themselves a bit better when it comes to love.

Chapman’s list of love languages are:

• Words of affirmation, such as hearing “I love you.”

• Quality time, giving undivided attention.

• Receiving gifts, thoughtful gifts given with some effort.

• Acts of service that help to relieve burdens.

• Physical touch, such as holding hands.

Chapman’s book firmly pinpointed my love language. It was enlightening to know we can nurture or be nurtured just by speaking the right “language.”

When John finished my hammock, he began work on the fence, still leaving his own list of priorities untouched. Ah. The first day of spring and an affirmation of love. Really, what more could a girl want?

Kathy Bohannon is a Georgia Press Association award-winning columnist and regular contributor to Effingham Now. She can be reached at kathybohan@yahoo.com. Her e-book “Dyson the Terrible Puppy” is available at barnes&noble.com.