Like this:

Filing this one under “Products easily replaceable by a common dish towel”, the Intimia Breast Cushion provides conflict resolution for your boobies. Let’s be real about this, I’m not a lady so I can’t really attest to the usefulness of keeping your boobies separated when you’re sleeping, but I know a gimmick when I see one. Along with just the general comfort of putting a pillow between your breasts, apparently this is supposed to prevent chest wrinkles as well.

This is all according to the Wonderful Doctor of Oz, who claims that it:

One Size Fits All |

Prevents chest wrinkles from forming in the cleavage area

Provides breast support and comfortable nights’ sleep for side, back or stomach sleepers

All of this is fine, if the product wasn’t $59.95 on Amazon. Listen, and I mean this, ladies have to deal with all kinds of stuff that us Y-chromosomes will never know anything about. But don’t let people like Dr. OZ rob you blind by marketing overpriced bullshit to your demographic! I repeat, grab a dish towel and shove it down your shirt, you’ll be fine!

Like this:

The Ovilus is an awesome invention that has thousands of words programmed into it, reads electromagnetic fields (a.k.a. air), and assigns a number based on how spooky the air is. The device then finds the word associated with this number and says it out loud.

The Ovilus most apparent use is in the field of paranormal investigation (obviously) and allegedly can tell you what kinds of conversations ghosts are having (???)

Unfortunately, people have put multiple Ovuli (yes) next to each other and have found the devices can’t seem to agree what the ghosts are saying, as they blurt out random words and phrases with no synchronicity.

Alas, we are no closer to proving that your dead Grandma can control electromagnetic fields from beyond the grave. Maybe next time.