MOVIE REVIEW: ‘Ice Age’ causes brain freeze

Thursday

Jul 21, 2016 at 7:32 PMJul 21, 2016 at 7:32 PM

Bob Tremblay @BobTremblay_MW

In “Ice Age: Collision Course,” an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth, threatening to destroy its inhabitants. After 15 minutes of watching this moribund, unimaginative sequel, I was rooting for the asteroid.

Spoiler alert: No such luck. The inhabitants survive, setting up the possibility of yet another moribund, unimaginative sequel. For the record, “Collision Course” is the fifth installment in the “Ice Age” animated franchise, dating back to 2002. What was once fresh and snappy has become stale and hackneyed. The series has become more tired than Rip Van Winkle on Ambien.

Check out the subplots: Manny (voice of Ray Romano) the woolly mammoth doesn’t like his future son-in-law Julian (voice of Adam Devine). Wow! And he forgets his wedding anniversary, angering his wife Ellie (voice of Queen Latifah). Double wow!! And Manny and Ellie don’t want their daughter Peaches (voice of Keke Palmer) to move away from home after she gets married. Triple wow!!! And Sid the sloth (voice of John Leguizamo) gets dumped by his girlfriend, only to find…. are you ready? … another girlfriend. Quadruple wow!!!! Even the most vapid sitcom would find these attempts at conflict stale.

The main plot has Manny and gang trying to survive death by the aforementioned asteroid. The one-eyed weasel Buck (voice of Simon Pegg) believes he has a solution, leading the troupe on an adventure that only serves as an excuse to flood the film with characters who serve no narrative purpose whatsoever. They’re there, instead, for comic relief. They’re just not very comical. Case in point, the Shangri Llama (voice of Jesse Tyler Ferguson), whose name is about as clever as the film gets. He gets very annoyed when he gets old. Too funny.

In another guffaw-inducing scene, Buck rescues what he believes is a baby, but instead is a pumpkin. He nevertheless treats the pumpkin like a baby. Hysterical. For yet another thrilling subplot, three prehistoric birds want to kill Buck because he foiled their attempt to steal a dinosaur egg. That bounder!

Directors Michael Thurmeier and Galen Tan Chu, both “Ice Age” veterans, clearly have adopted the kitchen-sink approach to this film. Throw as many characters and set pieces at the audiences and perhaps they won’t notice that the film has nothing new to say. The script by committee - Michael Wilson, Michael Berg and Yoni Brenner – relies on one-liners when perhaps a touch of character development would help. At least some of the dialogue contains a little pop with Granny (voice of Wanda Sykes) delivering the best put-downs.

Fans of Scrat, the squirrel with an acorn obsession, will also be happy as he gets more screen time and actually figures into the plot. His outer space antics set the asteroid in motion.

As for characters from previous films, you may wonder what Diego (voice of Denis Leary) and Shira (voice of Jennifer Lopez), the saber-toothed tiger husband-and-wife team, are doing in this installment. The answer is absolutely nothing.

The film’s biggest plus is the animation, complete with glacial landscapes, forest settings and an underground wonderland. The movie looks great. Too bad there’s more to movies than visuals. The film’s 3-D component is, as usual, worthless.

At film’s end, all conflicts get conveniently resolved while lessons about family togetherness and understanding get regurgitated. How blasé was this film? A woman and her young child actually walked out of the screening I attended.

That said, the film should entertain that easy-to-please demographic of children under 10. They’ll like the slapstick and the bright colors. Parents, meanwhile, won’t need Ambien to fall asleep.

The catchphrase to promote “Ice Age: Collision Course” is “Kiss your ice goodbye.” My sentiments exactly. It’s time for this franchise to plant a smooch on its derriere, then go the way of the dodo and become extinct.

“Ice Age: Collision Course” is rated PG for mild rude humor and some action/peril. The film is 100 minutes long and is directed by Michael Thurmeier and Galen Tan Chu and written by Michael Wilson, Michael Berg and Yoni Brenner. It features the voices of Ray Romano, John Leguizamo and Simon Pegg. Grade: C