I have enough toilet paper….and 34 other lies I tell myself.

As parents and humans we tell ourselves a lot of lies daily. I’m still not sure why. Are we gullible to ourselves? Do we believe ourselves? I think not. And yet, we continue to lie over and over and over again.

The lie that prompted all of this nonsense? That I have enough toilet paper in my house.

The truth? I never have enough. It is always on my shopping list. Always. So, I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of other lies I tell myself as well as the lies of my friends. Apparently? Liars love company! I partnered with SheSpeaks/Walmart to put together this list.

34 Lies I Tell Myself

1. I’m all caught up on laundry..

Bwhahahahah. I know you can hear the laughter now. And, I’m sure you are all caught up on yours, too.

2. I’ll do it when I’m ready.

Ready. That’s funny. Like I’m ever really ready for anything!

3. I can go another day without buying contact solution.

My eyes. They disagree. Never push contact solution to one more day. And, let’s be real, the same goes for deodorant, too.

4. No more toys will enter this house.

Again. The laughter. So many toys. So. Very. Many.

5. I will only buy what’s on my list at the store.

Now, I’m pretty good about not being impulsive, but I have a candy habit and it’s bad!

6. I don’t forget things.

Right. Never. I’m an elephant. (Just not the elephant in Zootopia.)

7. I’m just going to put this right here in this special place so I remember where it is.

Ask me how long it took me to find my non-nursing bras. Go ahead….ask….

8. My kids will never…

I don’t even need to fill that in, because the list goes on. But, let’s just say, my kids will never draw on my furniture because I always put writing utensils away and so do my older children. Right…

9. I will remember birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.

Thank goodness for google calendar and the ability to set multiple reminders.

10. I will not pull my kids from school for trips.

There is so much to learn on so many adventures. I don’t know why I told myself this one to be honest. They are much better story tellers and writers after traveling.

11. I will catch up on sleep tomorrow.

Oh, it’s midnight already? No worries. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

12. Breakfast for dinner is a quick and easy dinner.

I mus be doing it wrong, because the idea seems so easy, but 18 pans and 45 dishes later, I’m spent. Next time, let’s just have spaghetti with meat sauce, okay?

13. Sour cream and greek yogurt are the same thing.

They. Are. Not. Close, but not.

14. Running / Bootcamp will get easier after a year.

Why? Why does it never, ever get easier?

15. I’ll just run to the store after the kids go to bed.

Or, I’ll just sit her on the couch or at my desk and not move for the next three hours. That sounds like a better plan.

16. Just 5 more minutes.

18 hours later…

17. A pool trip is the same as a bath.

Chlorine is good for your skin and hair, right?

18. The kids are staying up late tonight, so they will sleep in tomorrow.

This. Has. Never. Happened.

Why haven’t I learned in almost 10 years at this gig?

19. Taking four kids to an amusement park by myself will be a piece of cake.

Although, it could have been worse, but I was ex.haus.ted.

20. I don’t go to bed angry. -Pat

Let’s be real. I’m tired. Sometimes, it’s just easier.

21. I don’t care. -Emily

This. Every. Single. Day. I need to put a star or an asterisk by this one.

22. I’m not fat because of how I eat, it’s because i don’t have time to work out (everything is more important than working out- spending time with kids, sleep, cleaning, work, etc…) -Caroline

Yes. All of the things. Add in a full-time job and I don’t even remember how I did it all.

26. If I just make it through (fill in the blank) things will get better –Kuleen

28. I played a basketball game so I can eat unhealthy all week. -Matthew

I did bootcamp all week, so I can eat a couple servings of potato chips, right?

29. I limit screen time to an hour a day… except when I’m with a customer, or someone’s sick, or the weather is bad, or I need a break, or I have extra chores, or I have to feed the animals… or… or … or -Ashleigh

I lose all abilities to tell time when it comes to this!

30. She can’t possibly get any sassier than this… -Laura

Oh, Laura. You have no idea!

31. I’m going to the gym tonight when I get the kids in bed. -Amber

This bedtime thing is a real struggle.

32. I’m just going to read one chapter before I go to sleep. Or check Fb/Instagram real quick. –Hannah

Reader Interactions

Comments

Boy, these are some good ones I didn’t even think of. that I am sure we ALL do at some point. Emily’s “I don’t care” is really good, and going to the gym after the kids go to bed? when does that happen?

I really agree with so many of these sayings! They really do make sense and I know that I never have the laundry done! It always seems to need to be done! I have heard myself say so many of these things!!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

Primary Sidebar

Krystyn has been blogging since 2005. She is a sarcasm-loving, straight-shooting, jeans and t-shirts wearing, wife and mom of four girls (ages 10, 8, 4 and 2). She blogs about life as a mom and wife and includes anecdotes, funny stories (both mommy and other), product reviews and more. She currently resides in the Atlanta suburbs.
email: krystyn at reallyareyouserious dot com Read More…

@SeriousKrystyn on Instagram

Amazon awesome

Footer

Connect with Krystyn

Krystyn has been blogging since 2005. She is a sarcasm-loving, straight-shooting, jeans and t-shirts wearing, wife and mom of four girls (ages 10, 8, 4 and 2). She currently resides in the Atlanta suburbs.
krystyn at reallyareyouserious . com Read More…