‘The Legend of Hercules’: Love in Uncanny Valley where nothing is real, not even the emotions being portrayed

The Legend of Hercules starring Kellen Lutz as the demi-god is a slow moving action movie with terrible special effects, out of place slow motion shots and a love story that just doesn’t work.This wholly unsatisfying film is not a believable love story. The characters might say they care for each other or they hate each other, but the actors just don’t or can’t sell it. The Legend of Hercules is as lame as someone who has taken a sword slash to the Achilles in slow motion but a little more pleasantly than may first be thought. The action sequences seemed to be self-adulation in that they were slowed down at all the wrong times. Though to be fair, there were other parts of the movie that were slowed down for no particular reason; maybe the editor was having a hard time hitting the 99 minute mark. The CGI was terrible. Nothing actually looked real, and even in 3D the film looked flat. Rather than giving the scene depth, the film gave it layers like an old 3D camera did. The best thing that can be said about the film is that it looks like it was shot with 3D in mind. Unfortunately, it just falls flat. And you should know that there apparently were a lot of things, like dandelion fuzz and rose petals, that floated in ancient Greece or Egypt or Assyria or wherever the film thinks it was set. If someone is forcing you to choose between this and You’re Next or Rocky and Bullwinkle, go see this. Otherwise, wait for the Rock to be Hercules in the coming months rather than see this mess of a film. If you need to see something this weekend – go see Frozen or Saving Mr. Banks. Heck, go see Her or Lone Survivor for that matter.