Bigot: I demand that you carefully consider my position and patiently refute my points one by one and then, when I move the goalposts, I’m gonna need you to refute a whole set of new completely disingenuous points, and I’m going to need this to go on all day.

Me: I’m gonna need you eat a dick.

Bigot: OHHH MY GOD THE NAME CALLING! Oh my HEART WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE THIS! OHHHH YOU ONLY REFUSE TO DEBATE ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUVE ALREADY LOST!!! OOOHHHH AD HOOOOOOOMINEM!!!!

(Falls dramatically to the floor, preferably clutching a linen handkerchief)

Every time.

Just let them. Step over that quivering thespian and go do, like, anything else. You don’t owe them a “debate”. You can even use those words, if you aren’t comfortable telling someone to eat dick.

A photograph of a newspaper clipping with the highlighted sentence which reads: “To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.”

The caption reads: Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives, votes and may have already reproduced.