#16. Frank And Glenn Ride A Bicycle Built For Two

Two,
Yes, it was two
Yes, it was two in the afternoon and Frank and Glenn were heading out on their maiden voyage on a bicycle built for two
Yes, it was a bicycle built for two from Lemons’ Weird Wheel Mobile Emporium
It had one huge wheel on the front, kind of like on those old-fashioned bikes, and one very small wheel on the back
The small wheel on the back resembled a single training wheel
The seats were made of duct tape and the frame was made of discarded bits of two-by-fours
Glenn was wearing one shoe and one flipper
Frank had a harpoon tied around his waste
They were singing “Go Now In Peace” in opera style
They were pulling a 42 metric ton barbell
Glenn was wearing one shoe and one flipper and nothing else
Frank had a harpoon tied around his waste, but that was not all he was wearing – he was also wearing a TV as a shirt and mosquito netting pants
They were going a millimetre an hour
They were a sad bunch, but man, they were funny
Well, that was until Glenn had to go,
Go get a cardboard strainer full of baking soda and dump it all down Frank’s pants
That’s when they started to try to fight, but before they could they fell down laughing and this caused each of them to have a heart attack
Through it all somehow they managed to continue to sing “Go Now In Peace” in opera style
They were rushed to the nearest hospital
At the hospital Frank and Glenn proceeded to give all the patients free botany lessons and hook them all on “Go Now In Peace” in opera style
They also proceeded to die 5 times a piece, but each time the big cheese felt it was his duty to give them their lives back and to this day, or at least just ’til the end of that day, they rode a bicycle built for two right into the bottom of the Atlantic ocean – or was it a bottomless puddle?

About

The Judy Story Poems (TJSP) began in the early 2000s and to date there have been over 80 of them written. For “Clueless Judies” (those unfamiliar with TJSP) TJSP are an ongoing poetry series set in a zany Unitarian Universalist universe. They centre on a young person named Judy who is totally chute, quite ogreish and very much a giantess and just happens to live in an unnamed suburb of Buffalo, NY, USA. They also include some of Judy’s friends like the very wacky Frank, Glenn and Bill. Read the rest here.