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The problem with being good.

I used to think I was a good person. I believed this for a very long time.

I ticked all the right boxes, didn’t smoke, didn’t drink too much or take drugs, I was moderate, I was well behaved and polite, my gossip was only ever well meaning and I volunteered and gave money to charity.

Writing this list, I have to laugh at myself, because it looks like it is a list from a poorly developed character sketch. It is sad, but it is true.

It took me a long while to realise, and some exposure to people different to me, to see that actually I wasn’t good, like I thought I was. What I was, was nice.

I was a nice person…but that didn’t mean I was a good person.

I could see this goodness in others, offering help to strangers, fighting for stuff that was important, actually caring about people. . .it made me see how much I cared about being nice, rather than people.

So being so disgusted with myself, I decided to change. I decided it was time for me to stop being nice and try to be good instead.

Being good is not as easy as we make it out to our children.

Kicking the nice person habit is damn hard too! I’m still working on breaking that addiction.

So I’ve discovered that the thing about being good, is that you really have to be intentional, and think about it.

People are different. In some situations, one person’s good is another person’s not so good. And doing good usually involves beings other than ourselves, most often people and so…it’s tricky.

I also discovered more about myself, like St Paul so eloquently summed up “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.”

Doing good does not come very naturally to me at all. Which is why I blog about it often. I’m writing to help myself choose good, and look for good around me. I’m writing about ideas, just to inspire myself to go deeper and bigger. I want doing good, and writing about it to change me, and hopefully the people around me, anyone else is a bonus!

Congratulations if you find it second nature…share your wisdom with the rest of the class!

Doing good is something I want to master but it’s so damn hard!

It involves (but is not limited to) being alert, not being self absorbed, thinking of ideas, knowing what you can offer, asking people what they need, being willing, going out of your way, making sacrifices, being brave, giving up stuff, overcoming insecurities, thinking, having an open heart, loving people, travelling with love, seeing people…and the list goes on.

Trying to be good, or do good…as cliche as it sounds, shows me how un good I am.