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A life & style blog written by Bash Harry, a 21 year old perfectionist with little to say but much to do. Let's talk beauty, fashion and intersectional feminism.

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To Evolving Friends

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

There is a certain melancholy to growing up.

The realization you’re maturing, improving and evolving. You’re not the same person you were at fourteen. When problems you have now seemed improbable then. When goals you had then seem so close now. When life now seems almost bizarre.

You can’t help but to look back at our past sometimes, just to look towards our future. You have to think of the future when you're at the cusp of adulthood. When you are no longer the child in the past but an adult with a future. I don’t want to think of the future just yet. There's so much to live for in the present.

After all, I’m only seventeen.

I recently had dinner with my friends, many I’ve known for almost four years now. They were about twenty of us here, many left out from the photos (sorry guys). Attached by the hip through a dramatic society. Dramatic children with big dreams and even bigger hearts. Hence in clusters, we’re so boisterous, childish and human. Laughing loudly from stories told and jokes going farther then they should.

We meet sporadically throughout the year, just to hang out and be together. It’s inevitable you become close. When you've known them for so long, most have been through important points of your teenage life. You develop together.

The persistent theme of our future loomed over our heads. University, Work, Life. We would never have discussed this at fourteen. We would discuss boy bands and school. But we’re young adults now, with our future at our fingertips. We have the future to look forward to. University, Work, Life.

This is the now, and we are so different. We’re older. We’ve settled into our features and young adulthood. We become more realistic. Another word for cynical. Perhaps that’s just me. I consider myself an optimist but nowadays, I’m not quite sure. Growing up means being unsure of many things.

Many of us are still in school, many of us have graduated, and many of us have left. Most of my friends are working, or furthering their studies abroad or traveling to unknowns. I’m still here. In my bedroom, typing away at 11 PM and hoping I’ll still be attentive enough to finish my History homework later.

I shouldn’t be so focused on the future while I still have the present. My present is heaps of homework I’m avoiding and the friends I don’t want to forget. The friends I can't forget. To friends I cried goodbyes, and to friends I never said goodbye. When you grow older, you say goodbyes more often, and some of them become the last.

To my friends, I bid you adieu but never goodbye. We will see each other again, probably in a week or two. Relaxing and eating as we always do. Perhaps then, we may forget about our future.

These are the moments I want to remember.

Being silly, stupid and young. Laughing loudly from stories told and jokes going farther than they should. Forgetting how vast and empty the future is and just focus on the present.

When we’re together and nothing else matters. When I can see excitement and joy in their eyes just by being here. When we aren’t so caught up in the future and we could see what we have now. And what I have now is an amazing cluster of friends.

So cheers to friends. Those who stayed, those who left, and those who will leave. To friends who are starting their own businesses and finding success. To friends who will travel far off and have adventures of small grandeur. To friends who find new love but will never leave the old.

Cheers to us, and let’s drink to adulthood.

P.S Thank you Wafaa for taking most of these photos. I want that camera. And thank you Saf for reading the first draft. You're a beautiful proof-reader.

84 comments

This post was so amazing. I loved hearing your thoughts, your doubts, your everything. I'm older and I went through a period where I doubted a lot of things were possible after I graduated. I don't feel that way anymore. I'm actually happy that I don't know what my future is because I still think anything is possible. It's just that now that I'm a little older, I know that to make it happen you gotta focus on a few things.

But first, hopefully you can focus on finishing that history homework ;)

That's so true! I'm happy you have those amazing people surround you, Bash! You can be so proud of your friends! I've lost many of mine from the youth! But it's ok because I've get to know so many new ones! <3 And I couldn't be more happier about that! Thank you for beeing one of those, my dear! ;-**

When I was still in A Levels, still studying, still had a reason to have a social circle for reasons such as group projects, or de-stressing sessions, all I could do was think of the future. It was my entire motivation. I left the present behind and traveled to the future, something I wish I hadn't done, really, because what I have now is the little scraps of my past, the dead present, and nothing else. I've been through lots of phases, and the greatest ideas and realisations of these periodicity all stem from one thing; that the future can be changed, but the present? It'll pass away as quickly as a snap of one's finger.

So I applaud you for being able to live in the present, and being able to cherish the friends you have now. You're a great person, one who clearly holds dear to her heart the idea of friendship, and the physical people you have around you. Me? Well, let's just say I'm trying to change that. Cheers to the present, Bash. Good luck, my best wishes, and lots of love to you, and to your friends.

When you're young you wonder how you would live without these people who you spent time with everyday. It's sad to see people slowly fade away from each other, but it's inevitable and the great thing about life is that you will definitely find more!

A lot of my friends stayed in the same city whereas I moved away, we meet up about 2-3 times a year and speak occasionally. Although we don't see each other as much anymore, we go straight back to our high school days when we are together! Those are the people you should cherish!

I love the way you write!! And hey, have all the fun you can as a youngster! (Actually, just have fun throughout your life), but hopefully you'll be able to keep in touch with people through the years :)

It is an interesting time growing up and starting to all go off in different directions in life! It's great you can still catch up with all of your friends regularly - friends and family are the most important thing :)

Omg Bash, this is such a beautifully written post, I almost got tears in my eyes while reading it. I couldn't help but thinking of those friends and our goodbyes, or in my fun teenage years. I'm not that old, tho haha, I'm in my twenties, but I start feeling the weight of my years now. Enjoy your present as much as you can, dear! Great things come with adulthood, but there's nothing like being 17 with an entire world of opportunities awaiting for you... :)xx

Bash you honestly are sooo good at expressing relatable feelings through words. It's crazy how quickly this in between stage seems to have crept up on us isn't it? Seventeen year olds seemed so much older when we were 10. I don't feel nearly as grown up as I thought those 17 year olds to be.Can I just say how stunning you look in every single photo too! Your hijab accentuates your cheekbones so well and you're just so beautiful!lily xjolihouse.com

You seriously rock every single colour scarf Bash! Entering adult hood is such a scary but exciting thing... sometimes it's the best thing with so much freedom but other times you kind of just want to hide under a rock with the responsibilities it brings. I left school at 16 and studied hairdressing for a year, there was something very special about being a teenager in an adult world it was like I only had just a little bit of that responsibility that the adult world brings but yet I had a whole lot more freedom. Enjoy the now! <3

No need to be cynical yet, you're only 17! I guess you should be thinking about some adult responsibilities, but remember to have fun! You're still pretty much a kid! I mean, I'm 26 and I consider myself kind of a kid lol

I loved how you mentioned that the future will come and it's true I mean it's better to just enjoy the time you have now because if your constantly living in the future and the past you'll never live in the present. It seems like you guys had a lot of fun! :) and it's great that you all try to hang out when you can <3

Love the style of your blog, it's so nice and you've got such a wonderful unique style, it does really inspire me a lot :) keep going like this girl :D I was wondering..would you be interested in following each other?

Your post is amazing and moving, Bash! Cheers to the friends and to the present, dear! And btw, there is nothing wrong with growing up, dear, I have just graduated my studies and I think that experiences like this one are worth to grow up ;)

What a beautiful story, Bash! I really love every single of it. I think you should enjoy your seventeen, starting for this year your life will fly faster. I'm agree with your world that growing up means being unsure of many things, but that's amazing about it. God give us choice to chosen our future. btw, you should make hijab tutorial, I really like your hijab in this photos :)

You're right. A big part of growing older is uncertainty. We have this idea when we're kids that adults know exactly what they're doing and when we get, we find out differently. But that's part of life and its amazing and infuriating journey. :)

You actually have a very mature and pretty face for a seventeen year-old. Well, it's either that or I just look too young for my age. But anyway, you look so beautiful and you look so great with your friends. They seem awesome :)

Bash, another great read from you ! I'm glad you have met a wonderful set of friends you can shares your dreams with. Always cherish your time with your friends and I wish all of you an everlasting friendship (: Btw, I recently nominated you with the "Versatil Blogger Award," check it out here (:

Beautiful piece, Bash. I feel a lot of what you say, and I think living in the present is something that I've had to pick up along the way more than it coming naturally to me. But yes, life is too short to spend the present worrying about what might happen tomorrow. It's a waste of time, and time is all we have xxx

The future is daunting and even now as an "adult" I'm really terrified and excited for what's in store for me. It's hard to see less and less of your friends as you grow up and you all start doing different things, but I totally agree that it's important to remember all of those good times. Great post Bash. :)