Counseling Towards Recovery

Counseling Towards Recovery

Three experienced counselors–Dr. Steve Arterburn, Jayson Graves, and Dr. Ted Roberts–shared practical tips and insights into effectively counseling those who are in pain because of porn use.

Dr. Arterburn discussed how someone’s relationship with porn supersedes their relationships with others. Real people often irritate them because they are used to getting everything they want with pornography. Anger, rage, and shame are common traits among both marriage partners when one of them has been involved with pornography. There’s often bitterness and resentment.

Counselors have to be open, honest, willing to listen, and experienced. He’s found humor creates agreement among groups, and using it helps restore relationships.

Graves introduced the need to get rid of “toxic shame” in your life. Satan will try to persuade you that you don’t have value, but that is not true–you are an amazing creation of God. Toxic shame can lead to people feeling suicidal, worthless, and not worth being loved.

One way to help is to stop dwelling on previous sins and areas of imperfection in our life. God separates our sin from us as far as the east is from the west. There is no reason why we should continually think about it.

Addicts lie. Dr. Ted Roberts shared how they’re afraid of being found out. It’s imperative to get to the truth of the matter in order to address the true issue.

“Rules with no relationship is a prime environment to produce an addict,” said Roberts.

Counseling is serious business. Those giving it and receiving it should not take it lightly.

The more you understand yourself, the more you can help others.

Counseling is a two to five year process with a miracle every day.

Question: What are good practices for those who are tempted to view pornography?

Answer: Staying connected with others helps with boredom and complacency, which can lead to temptation. Accountability is the solution.

Steve Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live! heard and watched by over 2 million people each week on nearly 200 radio stations nationwide, on XM and Sirius Satellite radio and on the NRB television network. Steve is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based channel dedicated to transforming lives through God’s truth. Steve is the founder of the Women of Faith conferences attended by over 4 million people. He also serves as a teaching pastor in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Steve is a nationally and internationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, The New York Times, USA Today, US News & World Report, ABC World News Tonight, and ironically inGQ and Rolling Stone magazines. Steve has spoken at major events for the National Center for Fathering, American Association of Christian Counselors, Promise Keepers Canada, Life Well Conferences in Australia and The Salvation Army to name a few.

Steve is a best-selling author of books such as Every Man’s Battle, Healing Is A Choice and his latest books, The 7-Minute Marriage Solution, The Book of Life Recovery, Is This The One? and recently co-authored Worthy of Her Trust with Jason Martinkus. With over 8 million books in print he has been writing about God’s transformational truth since 1984. He has been nominated for numerous writing awards and has won three Gold Medallions for writing excellence. Along with Dr. Dave Stoop, he edited and produced the #1 selling Life Recovery Bible.

His speaking topics address issues common to leaders, adult men and women, including Every Man’s Battle, Lose it For Life, The 7-Minute Marriage Solution, Every Heart Restored, and Healing is a Choice. Steve’s ministry endeavors focus on identifying and compassionately responding to the needs of those seeking healing and restoration through God’s truth.

Steve has degrees from Baylor University and The University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees and is currently completing his doctoral studies in Christian counseling.

Steve resides with his family in Fishers, Indiana.

Jayson Graves, M.MFT, husband of Susan and father of Selah Rae & Asabella, is a Christian Psychotherapist specializing in Sexual Addictions Recovery and unwanted attractions. He enjoys helping his clients from both a clinical and personal frame as a person in recovery himself.

While receiving his Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy from Seattle Pacific University, the bulk of his experience has come from working with youth, in community mental health and men’s ministry. Since then, Jayson has enjoyed working with couples, individuals, young adults and teens in private practice. His passion is to see people set free from sexual addictions, unwanted attractions and other relational struggles through forgiveness, reconciliation, accountability, faith and purity.

Jayson is the founder and director of the international counseling ministry Healing for the Soul, providing therapy and groups all over the telephone, including his first original idea: Teleconference Recovery Groups for men, for wives and for teens in recovery worldwide. He’s also served as the National Program Director and speaker for New Life Ministry’s “Every Man’s Battle” seminars, speaker for Focus on the Family conferences, and host of both “The Blazing Grace Show” radio program and SkyAngel Network’s “PurePassion” TV program.

Dr. Ted Roberts served as a USMC fighter pilot and platoon leader, flying close air support missions. In 1970, Ted Roberts met Jesus Christ in a bunker while under a rocket attack in Vietnam. Ted eventually finished his tour in the Marine Corps Squadron VMA-311. Upon returning to the United States, Ted served as a safety officer and flight instructor in Training Squadron VT-21 and attended Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, California.

In 1976 the Lord suddenly and unexpectedly changed the course of Dr. Ted’s life by calling him into ministry. Having graduated with honors in math and astrophysics, Ted earned his Master’s Degree at Asbury Theological Seminary and Doctorate from Western Conservative Theological Seminary. Dr. Ted has served in numerous ministry leadership positions that include; Founder and Clinical Director of Pure Desire Ministries International, Academic Dean of a bible college, and for 23 years Senior Pastor of East Hill Church in Gresham, Oregon. Under Dr. Ted’s leadership, and in one of the most unchurched areas of the country, East Hill Church grew to over 7,000 members.

In 2007 Dr. Ted stepped away from the pulpit to engage in a new battle and to commit his time and energy to the development of Pure Desire Ministries International. This time around, the battle is for sexual purity and healing in the church. Dr. Ted has authored 12 books that include the bestseller, Pure Desire and the addiction recovery manual titled Seven Pillars of Freedom.

Dr. Ted is a certified sex addiction and multiple addiction professional. He worked closely with IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) and Dr. Patrick Carnes to create an officially recognized designation for pastors (PSAP) who work in the field of sex addiction treatment. Dr. Ted’s current roles include Clinical Director, Pure Desire Ministries International, conference speaker, and writer.

In 2013 Dr. Ted hosted and was co-writer for the educational video series titled Conquer Series. The series also earned a highest recommendation for video documentary from Christian Film Database.

Presently, Dr Ted continues to write. His current work is the development of a relapse prevention manual. Ted and has wife Diane counsel pastors and leaders from around the nation who are trapped in sexual bondage. The couple also travels the world declaring the freedom and grace of Jesus Christ.

Dr. Ted and Diane reside in Gresham Oregon and where they enjoy time with their two adult children and four grandchildren.