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The HD Corner: The Mike Milbury Effect

Welcome everyone to the new and improved Illegal Curve! Although it is still the middle of summer, there is plenty of action over at the CBC. With CBC failing to renew the rights to “da da da da daaaa” they have invested their funds in acquiring Mad Mike Milbury from TSN. As previously mentioned on an earlier post, the three candidates for replacing him on TSN are: Ray Ferraro, Marc Crawford, and Larry Murphy. At this point, Ferraro seems to be the front-runner due to his TV experience. But what would make an HD Corner column without some mild criticism of all three candidates. Drum roll please…

Ray Ferraro

As discussed, Ray “Chicken Parm” Ferraro is the favourite to fill Milbury’s shoes based on his experience being the colour guy for the Oilers on Sportsnet, and working on NBC. The fact that he has been able to survive several seasons of hearing “Shawn Horcoff….overtime winner!” being screamed in his ear by Kevin Quinn says a lot about his focus and dedication. He may even be able to withstand working with both Pierre’s inflated voice and ego. In all seriousness, despite his mild lisp, Ferraro and NHL on TSN host James Duthie should have chemistry equivalent to that of Ferarro and Donald Audette in the late 90’s. (It’s only July and I’ve already had to dig into the vault and make a Donald Audette reference. This could be a long season).

Marc Crawford

Speaking of chemistry, I would rather spend my leisure time next season determining the molecular structure of polypropylene than listening to Crawford’s squeaky voice on TV. The ex-coach with a Dan Cloutier fetish, and best known for once making fun of Scotty Bowman’s metal plate in his head, is best suited behind the bench. Besides, the last time Crawford thought he was saying something insightful, he told the ref to put Ray Bourque in the shootout over Gretzky.

Larry Murphy

Many people might be wondering how on Earth Larry Murphy fits into this equation. He does have some broadcasting experience, and currently is the colour guy on FSN Detroit. However, Murphy only works Detroit games when the Wings are on west coast road trips, so regular colour guy Mickey Redmond can focus on his true passion: whiskey. I wish I was kidding.

In summary, this year Ferraro will win the new gig at TSN, Crawford will be the coach for the AHL’s Iowa Chop’s with Cloutier between the pipes, and Murphy will work 10 Red Wings games this year and eat 72 slices of Little Caesar’s Pizza when the Wings aren’t on the west coast.

Bob Roberts

CBC continues its downhill slide. Milbury is beyond bad, but one of these three will find that out in person. The one CBC should be using is someone they already have but underutilize: P.J. Stock. He’s a young fresh face who knows his hockey, he seems to get on great with McLean and if he’s ego heavy it’s not very visible.

TSN’ll be glad to dump Milbury and with the NHLPA’s brilliant move to acquire Healy they must be dancing in the streets. Couple more moves like that and they might regain the edge and insight they used to have. Clearly CBC should dump Morrison and steal the TSN executive director (name?). They’ll never be that smart, though.

I can’t agree more with CBC’s downward spiral. Although Stock does get criticized quite a bit, his entertaining antics should be further emphasized on its broadcasts. The fact that Grapes can’t put two sentences together never stopped CBC from promoting Cherry, so why should it stop for Stock? One of the TSN head honchos, Andy Bianchi, would be a great addition to the CBC staff…even Maggie the Monkey could run a better show than the staff currently employed there!

Bob Roberts

So its high and squeaky gel with pudgy, stodgy and raving. Oh my. My all time memory of Crawford is not (surprisingly) the metal plate incident; but rather the moment in the same series where a shot of the bench shows Joe Sakic turning to a bewildered Crawford and clearly saying, “Call a timeout.”. At least he did. Hey Scott Morrison — call a timeout.