Natlaie Portman got married

Natalie Portman hasn’t said anything official yet, but a jeweler told People magazine that she designed wedding rings for Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepid, rings they appeared to be wearing Sunday night at the Oscars.

Wolf created two diamond rings for Portman, made to fit on either side of her engagement ring, and a platinum band for Millepied.

The weird thing is she wore that ring to the Screen Actors Guild Awards on January 29th too (1, 2), so they’ve apparently been married for a while and no one noticed until now. And actually no one did notice, that gabby jeweler ratted her out. Maybe no one would have noticed even now because the dress Natalie wore Sunday made it look like she had huge tits, and who cares about her hands if Natalie Portman has huge tits. She could have hooks or that stabby point thing Terminator 2 had for all I care, I’d still let her jack me off.