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Midfield Diamond on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-156299
Fri, 04 Jan 2013 16:34:46 +0000Midfield Diamond156299@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Had a bash at a sub, based on beau-jolly's (and others') comments, <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54139" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54139</a></p>
<p>Seems like a good excuse to bump this one too.
</p>Anonymous on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-156003
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:17:47 +0000Anonymous156003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>After I saw <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0GyRz_lOQA">Apaches</a> at school at the age of 6, I decided I would no longer go for swims in slurry.</p>
<p>I think this film was reserved for rural communities. The authorities obviously decided it was important to scare the living shit out of us bumpkins.
</p>dvo4fun on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155999
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:45:26 +0000dvo4fun155999@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I was traumatised into closing fire doors rather than wedge them open after seeing a H&amp;S snuff movie called (imaginatively] 'Fire' - I wonder if that was the same one as b-j saw. Nice camera panning following people who jumped from 15th floor of a blazing tower block. Happy days ...
</p>beau-jolly on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155995
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:32:37 +0000beau-jolly155995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>MD: Fill yer boots matey. There was a famous H&amp;S horror film in the 70s where a bloke, distracted by a mini-skirted dolly bird, walks into the raised forks of a fork lift truck. I've seen hardened foundry workers shit themselves over that one. I wouldn't have been surpised if Hitchcock was on the credits. <a href="http://www.cracked.com/article_17556_the-5-most-unintentionally-hilarious-work-safety-videos.html">This may help</a></p>
<p>DE: I looked. It's safe.
</p>Midfield Diamond on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155992
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:16:38 +0000Midfield Diamond155992@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>When I worked for the Co op we had a health and safety film about fire. It included a graphic scene of someone jumping from a window and hitting the ground head first. Imagine a melon cracking open. It was shocking, sickening and I can still see it 20 years later. There should have been a health and safety warning...oh hang on.</blockquote></p>
<p>There must be a sub in that b-j ... I might have a crack at it later if there are no objections.</p>
<p>Good sub VCG by the way.
</p>Dick Everyman on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155975
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 17:02:16 +0000Dick Everyman155975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Great sub VCG, too scared to click on bonjo's link though after beau-jo's traumatisation...
</p>bonjonelson on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155968
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:36:32 +0000bonjonelson155968@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><a href="http://www.bash.org/?488793" rel="nofollow">http://www.bash.org/?488793</a>
</p>beau-jolly on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155964
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:28:17 +0000beau-jolly155964@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>When I worked for the Co op we had a health and safety film about fire. It included a graphic scene of someone jumping from a window and hitting the ground head first. Imagine a melon cracking open. It was shocking, sickening and I can still see it 20 years later. There should have been a health and safety warning...oh hang on.</p>
<p>Nice sub though
</p>dvo4fun on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155956
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:09:29 +0000dvo4fun155956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>"The resulting footage of the girl plummeting seven stories to her death has left the man’s grandchildren severely traumatised, " excellent.</p>
<p>I did know a chap who did the full Tom Daley from the top of a muti-storey but it wasn't clear if it was deliberate or if he was just dancing round on the parapet edge for fun, like Gollum. </p>
<p>He was unavailable for comment of course but left a shedload of paperwork and 'I'm-not-to-blame' meetings. Selfish sod
</p>Vertically Challenged Giant on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155953
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:52:26 +0000Vertically Challenged Giant155953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>With a laugh like that you could be a super-villain Oxy. You want to be careful or Paul will fail to come and foil your dastardly plans.
</p>Oxbridge on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155952
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:49:34 +0000Oxbridge155952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Bwahahahahahaha.
</p>Vertically Challenged Giant on "Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54052#post-155951
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:47:25 +0000Vertically Challenged Giant155951@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>A local reporter from the Sheffield Telegraph is being blamed for the death of a 23-year-old woman after his lack of superpowers saw him fail to perform an heroic rescue. Paul Jenkins, a rookie reporter in his first job in the industry, was on the scene shortly before the woman jumped to her death, but appears to lack any amazing powers despite being mild-mannered and looking a bit geeky.</p>
<p>‘There was this girl stood on top of a multi-storey car park saying she was going to jump. The police were trying to talk her down and a crowd had gathered to watch.’ said one disappointed eyewitness, ‘I’d noticed this bloke who seemed to be a reporter but he wasn’t as brash and pushy as a lot of them, and he was wearing glasses, which seemed odd.’</p>
<p>‘The next time I turned around there was no sign of him. I immediately thought “here we go, about to see an heroic rescue, this’ll be something to tell the grandkids”, so I got out my phone and started filming.’</p>
<p>The resulting footage of the girl plummeting seven stories to her death has left the man’s grandchildren severely traumatised, and he claims the reporter’s lack of superpowers is squarely to blame. ‘If that bloke had re-appeared at the last minute and flown past wearing a cape, catching her just before she hit the ground head-first and giving her a reason to live, then Charlie and Jo would never have had to watch the footage on a 50 inch widescreen TV. In super slow motion. He ought to be locked up.’</p>
<p>Other witnesses have also expressed their disgust at Paul’s failure to perform a last-second intervention, especially as some of them had seen him head into a phone box and then reappear without his glasses on. But he insists he is not to blame.</p>
<p>‘I really don’t see how this is my fault. Yes, I took my glasses off and changed into contact lenses, because I fancied the reporter from the local news who was there and my glasses make me look like a nerd.’ complained Mr Jenkins, ‘And I did go into a phone box just before she jumped, but only to try and hack into her voicemail.’</p>
<p><em>With a little help from button and waylandsmithy, neither of who have superpowers</em>
</p>