When social media stings

I wasn’t part of the fun. I wasn’t part of the group. And as I saw picture after picture after picture, the feeling of rejection overwhelmed me.

Sometimes social media stings.

It has a very special way of reinforcing messages of worthlessness, abandonment and I’m-not-good-enough. The ones that say…

They don’t consider me one of them.

I’m an after-thought.

If I was more fun they’d include me.

And it’s those images and updates that trigger jealousy and comparison because they show a family who always gets along, another vacation to a place you’re dying to go, a marriage that looks easy, the newest gadget you can’t afford, or the continued success of their high-achieving child.

But friends, social media isn’t going away which means neither is the opportunity to get tangled.

So, how will our hearts survive?

Friends, we have to do everything we can to keep what we see on social media in perspective. Otherwise, it will make us wish we had her life, her family, her friends, her stuff.

Here are 5 reality checks:

1) Most of the time, people have no intention of hurting you with what they post. It’s not personal. They’re just in the moment, sharing the fun pictures or exciting status update. You get to decide if you pick up an offense or not.

2) What you see is a snapshot of their life – not the full picture. People don’t usually post doom and gloom updates because – well – who wants to promote that? Instead, they post the good parts of life. And that’s okay.

3) We are becoming over-sharers and self-promoters. Sometimes we care more about presenting the perfect online life than pouring into real life with those we love. Some of us need to find balance.

4) In a recent article, 1 in 10 women admitted they lied on Facebook several times a week. Why? They were afraid their lives would seem boring, they were jealous of others’ updates, and they wanted to impress. Stop it. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

5) Retweets, shares, likes, follows, pins have nothing – absolutely nothing – to do with your worth as a woman. And using them to calculate your value will never add up to the truth.

Deep in my heart, I know my friends never intended the pictures they posted to make me feel rejected. Oh my word they love me so well!

But until we put social media in its right place, it’s going to continue knotting us up in discontentment about who we are, the life we lead, and the relationships we have.

And that’s no way to live.

So… let’s choose to believe the best in others.

Let’s give our friends the freedom to share their “moments” as they wish.

Let’s ask God to create contentment in our heart.

And let’s find our worth in Jesus… alone.

I shared a personal story on the radio last week of how social media has tangled me in the past, how it tripped me up just the other day, and tips on how to tame its effects on your worth. You can listen in HERE!

Comments

Great post Carey Scott! You know this has historically been a tangle for me… Contentment seems to be the antidote. Accepting my beautiful messy life because it is the one that keeps me desperate for Jesus. It is where I get to see joy and redemption. Learning to celebrate others successes on Facebook without getting triggered is an act of maturity. I am going to grow up someday real soon.

Meet Carey

Hi! I'm Carey -- a speaker, author and life coach honest about my life and faith, stumbles, fumbles and all. My ministry focuses on helping women untangle their self-worth from the "I'm-not good enough" messages and reminding them of their immeasurable value. Because when a woman knows her value, she is freed up to live with purpose and joy.