I hate poor people. I hate them...They're all so poor, and many of 'em talk funny, and don't have proper table manners. My father slaved away at the Fortune 500 company he inherited so that I could go to Choate, Brown and Harvard and see that this country isn't overrun by poor people and lesbians. No.... I'm Republican because I believe in smaller government. This country was founded on the principle of freedom, and freedom stands opposed to contraints. And the bigger the government, the more the constraints.

CLIFF CALLEY, The West Wing, "Ways and Means" (2001)

When voters want a national Daddy, someone to be tough and strong and defend the country, they vote Republican. When they want a Mommy to give them jobs, healthcare...they vote Democrat.

JOSH LYMAN, The West Wing, "The Mommy Problem" (2005)

Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this, to save you from yourselves.

SIDESHOW BOB, The Simpsons, "Sideshow Bob Roberts" (1994)

The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant and a big fat white guy who's threatened by change.

PETER GRIFFIN, Family Guy, "Chitty Chitty Death Bang" (1999)

I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.

NED FLANDERS, The Simpsons, "Home Away from Homer" (2005)

Sometimes I wish I were a Republican. Then I wouldn't have to worry about anyone's feelings. The only thing I'd have to worry about is being indicted.

GRACE ADLER, Will & Grace, "Cowboys and Iranians" (2006)

Say what you will about Republicans: We stick to our convictions, even when we know we're dead wrong.