Sunday, 9 September 2012

It was finally time for a visit to
Limehouse this week, a station we’ve been half-heartedly trying to get to for
quite some time now. It just seems that
each time we finally get around to it we get a more enticing offer, which to be
fair is not that difficult a feat as Limehouse is far from being one of the
more appealing locations on the DLR.
Last time for instance Tindall asked me if I fancied staying in instead
to watch episodes of The Big Bang Theory back to back. Only kidding of course, I’d never watch that
crap. But tonight we took the plunged
and I met Rob straight from work at our first pub for the night. I entered the Railway Tavern to find him and
a pint awaiting me. He didn’t look out
of place though, for this pub is ideal for the lone drinker with time to kill
as they wait for their train or their DLR Challenge buddy to arrive. Indeed, it seems highly unlikely that this is
a place that you’d come regularly, and this lack of familiarity perhaps dampens
the atmosphere slightly. Having said
that, as we’d move on to discover, The Railway Tavern is probably one of the
better pubs in this area.

The Railway Tavern Ratings

Facilities – 2.5

Atmosphere – 2

Cost – 3

Entertainment – 3.5

Selection – 2

OVERALL AVERAGE – 2.6/5

We headed next in the direction of
The White Swan, but instead stumbled across a tiny bar called ‘Jacks’
sandwiched in between a row of closed down shops (nothing much appears to be
open in Limehouse anymore). The owner
(presumably Jack?) stood at the door and welcomed us in as we passed him. Quite a homely feel to this place, it’s
clearly a converted shop with a bar in it but was nevertheless very
welcoming. The only let down really is
its location. Situated on Commercial
Road, the steady stream of traffic and blaring sirens, set in front of a
backdrop of derelict buildings doesn’t really leave the drinker with much of a
view. Indeed, I actually preferred to
look at Tindall than out of the window.
Perhaps this place had only just opened, there was no food menu but
empty blackboards galore, seemingly placed there once either Jack or his wife
had had time to do a big shop and rustle up some food. One pint of Guinness each later and we were
back on the road.

Jacks Ratings

Facilities – 2.5

Atmosphere – 3

Cost – 3

Entertainment – 1.5

Selection – 1

OVERALL AVERAGE – 2.2/5

It was then that we found The White
Swan, although it had been boarded up.
Sadly this would become a common theme as the evening progressed, as we
passed 4 more pubs that no longer existed.
Our next venue Brewery Tap had also seen better days. Incredibly though it was still open. Although it may score higher than others on
our controversial and admittedly ridiculous FACES scale, this must surely be
the worst pub that we’ve come across so far.
As we entered we were greeted by the fixed stair of an old man with one
tooth who looked as though he spends every waking moment of his remaining days
there. In fact, I imagine he’s sitting
there right now, propped up against the bar, staring at the door in the hope of
a new customer to look at. He had to
make do with eavesdropping on the four guys occupying the table by the door on
the evening that we visited though; another set of regulars who most likely are
used to having the pub to themselves.
I’m not too sure the barmaid was overly pleased to see us either, she
spent the whole time we were there eyeing us suspiciously. Granted though, when two guys wearing suits
come in and start scribbling notes on pen and paper she was probably worried we
were from the brewery and had come to close her down.

Brewery Tap Ratings

Facilities – 0.5

Atmosphere – 1.5

Cost – 4

Entertainment – 1.5

Selection – 2

OVERALL AVERAGE – 1.9/5

We chose not to stay for long,
Brewery Tap really didn’t have anything going for it. The décor was awful and probably hadn’t
changed in 40 years, the atmosphere was non-existent, and the pint glasses were
wobbly. After 15 minutes or so of trying
to drink whilst keeping one eye on a potential escape route and another on a
gnat that had joined us for the duration of our stay, we quickly upped and
left, safe in the knowledge that no matter where we ended up next, it would be
more comfortable than here.

We were wrong. The next pub, The Old Ship, was much nicer,
but far less comfortable. As we
approached the venue things looked promising.
The Ship didn’t belong here, it looked nice, it looked clean, and it
looked open. All good signs. Hanging baskets, erm, hung outside and a warm
glow emanated from within. This was
better. We entered, ordered our pints
and found a table. The barmaid informed
me that she’d just changed the barrel when it came to serving me my drink, and
things didn’t taste right. I took a sip
and decided I needed to switch, complaining to her that my beer tasted ‘fruity’. As it turned out this was the wrong choice of
wording as I then glanced to my left to discover a man wearing make-up. We’d entered another gay pub. And once again, such as it is in modern times
I feel the need to add the disclaimer that we have no issue with gay people,
nor with establishments that cater primarily for them, it is however a little
awkward to be entering these bars, in a couple, with another man. Why?
The crudeness. Every single time
we’ve been to one of these gay friendly pubs the clientele cannot seem to speak
without every other comment being a sexual innuendo. It does make for a slightly discomforting experience. However, we’re here to judge a pub, not those
that frequent it, and so we set about analysing our surroundings. And we were pleasantly surprised. It was a relaxing venue, it was clean and we
didn’t feel threatened as we had done in the pub previous to this. Entertainment was rife too, with a drag act
once a week, it was so welcoming here in fact that for a second we thought we’d
consider popping back in a few days time to watch ‘Saucy Sophie’ or ‘Slag in
Drag’ perform. And then we came to our
senses and decided never to mention that rogue thought to anyone, anywhere,
ever.

The Old Ship Ratings

Facilities – 3.5

Atmosphere – 3

Cost – 3

Entertainment – 2

Selection – 2

OVERALL AVERAGE – 2.7/5

Our evening ended with a visit to
The Queen’s Head. It ended rather
abruptly too as the staff around us started to close up at 10pm. In fairness to them at this point we were the
only two left, and besides ploughing money into their quiz machine we were
hardly worth staying open for. Queen’s
Head had seen better days. It was a huge
pub on the inside, but unfortunately had nobody there to fill it. On the wall was a picture of The Queen’s
Mother pouring a pint there in 1987, which incidentally may well have been the
year that the Quiz Machine that we were playing on had come from. After nabbing £3 from it (after only putting
about £5 in!) we drank up and left before being told to leave by the waiting
barmaid, off into the night, almost another DLR station light.

Queen’s Head Ratings

Facilities – 2.5

Atmosphere – 1

Cost – 3.5

Entertainment – 2.5

Selection – 1.5

OVERALL AVERAGE – 2.6/5

There are still some pubs in the
area to visit, fortunately some of which are on the south side of the station
at the Quay, a much more enticing area.
Hopefully we can revisit here and wrap up any loose ends shortly.