Sunday, August 9, 2015

Wanking: Stand Alone Complex

Apparently, anyone who comments on 1MDB or wormholes gets replaced, fired, forced to resign or transferred to the PM's Office.

Fuck that shit, so I won't talk about Najib, 1MDB and the 2.6 billion. Let's just all accept the fact that Najib won and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

I mean, Najib hasn't even played his final cards yet and right now no one can stand up to him. The AG has been replaced, the MACC guys could only pray to God, hoping God would come in and do... what exactly?

Anyway, I just want to put up, for the record, ways to change the Government, if Najib does not play his other cards like declaring a state of emergency or I dunno, use 5.2 billion or something.

As it is, BN won 133 seats out of a possible 222 parliamentary areas in the last GE. They need just 112 for a simple majority win.

If you have any expectations that the Opposition will win against BN, you're dreaming because:

1. The Opposition fuckers are just as bad as BN fuckers.

- They're equally stupid, potentially equally corrupt and just as racist or religionist or whatever.

2. The Opposition has failed and is failing miserably at making any headway into the BN stronghold - rural areas

- Opp fuckers are lazy and stupid. They are easily distracted by social media in order to gain popularity, even though social media is NOT where everyone is. Dumbass motherfuckers.

- I told them this and STILL they do jack shit.

3. The Opposition believes Gen Y is on their side. This is a fallacy.

- As seen with Parlimen Belia, the pretentious, fake, shallow fucks from Gen Y will lick the assholes that will give them the reward of feeling important without doing anything significant. This asshole can be attached to either Lim Kit Singa's ass or simple the UMNO hicom.

So, the only way to win the election is to prevent anyone from winning. Now, the fabled, mythical 'Third Force' doesn't and will not work because:

1. Zaid Ibrahim is NOT a third force.

- Fuck that shit, man. Zaid was linked with UMNO money before this, to the tune of hundreds of millions. I dunno whether it's true or not but no one from existing parties can convincingly set up a 'Third Force' because they're just bringing the same shit repackaged as something new.

2. There is no fucking way any 'Third Force' can stake a claim to any platform.

We have seen this happen when the Red Bean Army created - accidentally - instances of copycat behaviour and virality of their messaging during key election whatever. But that's online. It's time to take this concept into the real world.

Realising that each of the 222 parliamentary areas has different needs and concerns, and that no single blanket party can satisfactorily win all these diverse groups over, we should start a movement where each constituency gets their own solution or voice in the form of independent candidates.

The goal is not to form a Government, but to prevent anyone from forming one.

BN won 133 seats. Opp won 89. It is the role of these independents to win at the very least 21-22 seats, preferably from BN. How do you do this? Well, we'd need to put 50 independent candidates in places where the majority was slight. Like, below 1K.

50 Independent candidates with no partisan baggage and no masters - Israeli or middle-eastern or Chinese or whatever - will be free to fully campaign on the local interest issues, whatever they may be.

Success rate of 50% is fucking fantastic, but since this is a wanking piece, bear with me. Or rather, bare with me. Muahahaha.

What is the incentive for these 50 idiots to contest as independents in 50 areas, risking 10K of their deposit cash? Well.

Should 21-22 of these Indies win, and everyone else retaining their seats, we will have a Well-Hung Parliament. According to Westminster Politics, a Well-Hung Parliament is when all parliamentary reps are well-endowed or in other words, have big dicks.

When this happens, the ones with money (BN) will have to buy over the Indies - either with cash, 'units', women or positions of power.

My advice? Hold out for at least RM100 million each. Cash. Upfront.

In the end, this method will change nothing and Najib may still be in power after all is said and done. But it will be fun to prevent the formation of a Government and just to prove my theory right.

@amirhimself

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Amir Hafizi is the sexiest man on Earth. His chest is as thick as any redwood trunk; from which hangs two great boughs of heavily muscled arms and one minor but strong branch of solid wood somewhere down there.