Robert Minch: Be kind for the know not what they do

I won't always be flogging the Tehama County Board of Supervisors ad infinitum. They have family and friends and deserve a certain amount of insulation from their inane decision to support the separation of the state of California. But when we hear from others in opposition to the plan, their take on the matter shall be dutifully reported. For example, one astute observer put his opposition to the 6 states Draper absurdity thusly: "California has two Senators back in Washington DC who are perceived by many to be more than a little flaky. Why would Congress approve the separation proposal and have 12 more flaky senators to deal with from the west coast?" Why indeed?

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Speaking of lack of communication, are you hip to the emoji boom? It supposedly is changing the way we communicate. A group called Unicode Consortium has standardized digital code so text can be exchanged no matter the device or the language and they have coded about 250 emoji that will ensure an iPhone user can communicate with anyone in the world regardless of a language barrier. This all started with the little smiley face J symbol. Not that I would ever stoop to such abbreviations, but the King's English challenged folks are using them more and more. L

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In the DN 90 years ago, "A man named Firth was observed taking a saddle horse across the street from the fire department (on the corner of Pine and Washington at the time) and trotting off with the steed. He returned to the same spot, dismounted, looked around, then prepared to mount again when apprehended by undersheriff J.N. Froome." This is an endearing vignette from an earlier, more leisurely time. When I was a kid, that concrete hitching post, with an iron ring on it, was on the north east corner of the court house grounds. Wonder what happened to it?

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Sport scribes, in an ecstasy of anticipation prior to the Dodger/Giants games last week end ended their articles with "Can't wait!" Uh huh. Now the waiting is over and the explanations of how the dreaded Dodgers swept our boys begin. It's is all in the pitching, of course, but we landed Peavey, reunited him with his old boss Botchy when a Padre, and pitched him Sunday afternoon to no avail. Such a lovely game when all goes well.

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A bit of trivia found in the DN tells us that in Kodiak, Alaska the average haircut costs $26.67. I get mine cut locally for $10, but that may be a discount for my not having much hair to cut. However, this is just another reason to live in Red Bluff rather than in Kodiak, Alaska. Of course, when I was in the army stationed in Whittier, Alaska and living off base in a trailer with the Missus and our Boxer Max, the former cut my hair for free.

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If there was a just war, it was WWII in which Nazi conquests came to a halt with the invasion by the allies on the 6th of June, 1944. As successful as it was, at the conclusion of the war, sources say "registration units labored to confirm the identities of more than 250,000 American dead in 450 cemeteries scattered across 86 countries, two thirds of them in Europe or the Mediterranean. For an estimated 44,000 lost at sea, nothing could be done." Though the total number of dead is formidable, I had no idea that we lost that many soldiers and sailors at sea. That's a staggering number of bodies of which their loved ones had no hopes of recovering.

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A bit of trivia: Paul Revere, just one of three riders dispatched the night of April 18, 1775, never made it all the way to Concord?and he apparently never cried, "The British are coming!" However, he was the inspiration of a memorable poem by Longfellow.

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That fine New Yorker writer Roger Angell, a fellow dog lover, dashed off a few Haikus in honor of his companion Andy:

"Hey, why the long face,

Mr. Smooth Fox Terrier?

Dog jokes never die. "

And,

"Stay down, crazy pooch.

Stop jumping all over me.

Enough love?O, K?"

My Haiku for our new pup who is named All That Jazz:

"Jazz. Good dog you are

Always ready for a romp.

A joy to have you."

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I think we shall pass on the quiz for the time being. Not enough response.

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An elderly lady decided to give herself a treat for her 80th birthday by staying overnight in a fancy hotel. When she checked out the next morning, she was shocked to receive a bill for $250. She said to the clerk, "I know it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250 for just an overnight stay?and I didn't even have breakfast. I want to speak to the manager."

The manager arrived and upon hearing of her complaint, reeled off a number of services provided by the hotel by saying "Madam, this hotel has an Olympic-sized pool available for guests." The little old lady protested that she had not used the pool, but he answered, "Well, it is here and you could have." He continued, "We have the best entertainers from all over the world and if you did not see them, you could have."

No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use them" and he replied that she could have. Finally, not getting anywhere, she wrote out a check and gave it to the manager. The manager was shocked when he saw the check for $50. When he protested the small amount she replied, "That's the correct amount. I charged you $200 for sleeping with me."

"But I didn't," exclaimed the manager.

"Well, that's too bad," the old lady replied. "I was here and you could have."

Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.