More Thoughts About “STUFF”

After reading through the comments about collecting/holding on to stuff, I raised the topic at the Rec Center where I sat with a group of other people. Many similar thoughts were offered. One older man said when he was a child the family was very poor and he remembers wearing cardboard in the bottom of his shoes to extend their life. He now has many shoes. Many talked about the depression and its effects. Some younger folks said they were happy with their collections, that life was about living and they had no desire to pare down. It seems though as if most people were not entirely happy about their accumulations and would like to downsize some. And, men predominated in that discussion. It’s not just a “girl thing.”

As in all things, I think it is a matter of achieving the right balance. I too have those “memory” items I hold on too and that make me feel good looking at them. It is a way of holding on to the good times. But when are we are living too much in the past and not coping with the present? Some of the readers had received their “stuff” upon the recent death of a loved one and did not feel they wanted to part with it. This feeling is normal and part of the grieving process. I do not think they should downsize until they are ready. This may be felt as just another loss. As one reader put it, it is a matter of finding the comfort zone of ownership. I am wondering if we are inclined to hold on to more as we age, and if we are staying inside more looking at it. That’s a question, as I don’t know.

It took me six months of being outside, with little contact with television advertising or seductive store windows for my priorities to change. It happened slowly as I met and talked with like-minded people. We wore the same clothes everyday, smelly ones at that! When I got off the trail I wondered why it should be any different. Did I want to be valued for my clothes or for what I was? For me it was a no brainer. It still requires an occasional battle reminding myself what is really important in life. Clue: it’s the people, family and friends, cats, horses and dogs, yarns, and books (we have to entertain ourselves and keep our minds active). Check out blog comment number 75 describing the reader’s feeling after a typhoon hit her home in the Philippines.

I did more Internet research and discovered there are “12 step” programs to help overcome the collecting addiction, but these assume more serious psychological issues than I think we are talking about here, and that I am qualified to address. So how do we get rid of “stuff”?

First, you have to be committed and not do it just because you think you should. Then, depending on quantity and quality, find a professional to help, have a garage sale. It may be fun to do this with a neighbor or several neighbors. Give it to relatives, or charities. I keep bags ready for offerings as I become aware I have not worn something, that it doesn’t look good on me, it doesn’t go with anything else, I am not using it, or have read it already and don’t really think it is a “keeper.” First though, I keep another pile of things I am not sure I really want to get rid of, and think about for another week or so. I am especially fond of my photos, and when visiting with one of my sons, who is a nester, and who was keeping my albums and had a scanner, I spent about three days scanning them into my computer. I kept some there and also backed them up on disc.

These piles are starting to sound funny. I am reminded of some of the people I have known, not city folk, who always have a pile outside which they move from time to time as they sort through it looking for something they have use for. I am also reminded of one of the favorite pastimes of hikers when they get together, especially when they are in towns for rest and resupply. We love to sort through our humble belongings, always trying for better organization. So once you have sorted through your pile, take it to a charitable organization, (and some will pick it up for you). Then you can go in the front door and see what others have unloaded that you may need.

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,” and I would never suggest that we get rid of our art, or wine (I always kept a corkscrew handy in my van,) but more about that in another blog in which I would like to discuss more about different lifestyles. And as another reader commented “less = less screwing up”, but I would be afraid to say what that applies to.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nancy Gowler

Nancy is 73 and happily lives alone in a small North Carolina mountain town. Life wasn’t always this way. In 1999 she broke free from a toxic marriage by deciding to hike the Appalachian Trail. The hike...read more