So what’s the League doing to counteract this barrage of “negativity,” as they call the news reports over there at Central Planning?

Why, they’re having meetings, of course!

“We have marketing meetings and press agent meetings and committee meetings and fact-finding meetings,” says a source, who ducked out of a meeting to take my call.

“They’ve formed a task force to get everybody on the same page and figure out a way to spin the doom and gloom. They’re very much about the glass being half-full.”

As far as I’m concerned, the glass is always half-empty — or, in the case of “Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark,” broken.

But because I’m feeling in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd, I’m going to help out the League.

Shows aren’t closing because Broadway’s falling apart.

They’re closing for the reason shows always close, in good times or bad: Nobody cares about them.

“Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson,” closing Jan. 2, is a vastly overrated off-Broadway musical that should never have transferred in the first place.

In fact, The Public Theater, which co-produced it, couldn’t raise money for the Broadway production, despite The Times’ cheerleading.

If you can’t raise the money to put on the show, what makes you think anybody’s going to want to spend money to see it?

“The Scottsboro Boys,” closing Sunday, is a much better show than “Bloody Bloody.” But it, too, should have stayed off-Broadway, where it was a sellout. Its subject matter — an infamous civil-rights case — is a hard sell to mainstream audiences, especially around the holidays.

“La Bete,” closing Jan. 9, has been given about as stylish a production as you’re going to see. But the play is tedious — the original Broadway production lasted one month.

“Elling” closed because, well, what in God’s name is an Elling, anyway?

As for “A Life in the Theatre,” Patrick Stewart is wrong about Broadway’s “attendance crisis.” Audiences read the lackluster reviews for his show and thought, Next!

Stewart, by the way, says that London’s where the best theater is happening today. But aside from a new play about Judy Garland (cutting edge!), there’s nothing going on over there that anybody’s buzzing about.

I predict that shows people care about are going to have a banner holiday season.

“Elf,” hardly a masterpiece, is doing just fine, thank you.

Al Pacino‘s packing them in at “The Merchant of Venice.”

“The Lion King” is clocking $1 million-plus grosses each week.

“Jersey Boys” isn’t going anywhere for a long, long time.

And every time I pick up Variety, I see “Wicked” has broken yet another house record at the Gershwin.

So relax, Leaguers. Save the angst for January, when “Spider-Man” opens.