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Thursday, September 29, 2016

Don't Feel Bad For Me If I Do Things Alone

I copy this article from https://brightside.me (link). Before the 7 one third, I nearly always go to places and doing activities alone. Now I am doing it again. Of course because I am going alone I don't go to many places. Just inside my town.

I dream someday I can go to more and further places on my own. Hoping I can find the right time with the right amount of money to do it, hehe :D

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Don't Feel Bad For Me If I Do Things Alone

I was discussing prospective travel plans with a group of people the
other day when one of them, after expressing her interest in visiting
Lyon, remarked, ’But I have to find someone to go with - I’m not going
to travel there by myself. Nobody wants to do that.’

This statement started a train of thought on which I had embarked many times before:

Why is it still seen as socially unacceptable to do things
by yourself? And why is it always presumed that people don’t want
to do things alone?

Well. I do understand where people of these opinions are
coming from: we, as human beings, are social beings. It is only natural
that we want to share in our experiences with others. Socializing and
conversing are how we forge friendships and ultimately help each other
grow.

However, it baffles me as to why the idea that someone wants
to do something alone is so bizarre to some people. Sure - by societal
norms, activities such as eating out or seeing a movie are viewed
as social activities to be enjoyed with others. It’s standard
of behavior and human tendency that we seek to do these things with
people. But seeing someone out and about on their own doesn’t equate
to him or her being lonely, or having no friends.

More importantly, I think we are perfectly entitled to simply not
be in the mood to entertain someone throughout an activity, or socialize
in general. Throughout the day, we’re invariably staring at screens
of all shapes and sizes, and being bombarded with stimuli through them.
On top of that, we must make real human interactions with handfuls of people on a daily basis. It grows exhausting, whether one is an introvert or extrovert.

But who is to say that ’me’ time is only in the confines of one’s
home, in the form of a pantsless Sunday spent watching Netflix and
binging on pizza? Why is doing that alone acceptable anyway, but not
going outside and doing something in town? Lunching solo at a cafe
or laying on the beach is equally rewarding as ’me’ time. Time spent
by myself is time spent alone with my thoughts, which I relish
in a world of distraction. Once alone, I have the opportunity to ponder
over matters to which I have been meaning to devote mental attention -
or to think about nothing at all, and simply appreciate the present
moment.

I suppose that’s another explanation for why doing things alone has
a social stigma. We tend to project our own tendencies onto others,
particularly in situations we view negatively; and I find that the
people with the greatest aversion to doing things alone are the ones
who cannot be in solitude with their minds.

Being alone with your mind, however, is one of the best things for your soul.

That is one of the greatest pleasures I find in doing things alone.
Another is, of course, the freedom to operate on your own schedule. This
liberty is why I enjoy solo shopping and can appreciate traveling alone
so much.

But traveling alone? Doesn’t it get a little solitary? Well, yes .
One of the greatest joys of travel is reveling in the presence
of awesome history or art with someone, and I definitely find myself
wishing I had a friend with me at times; seeing what I’m seeing, eating
what I’m eating, discussing our experiences. It’s nice to have someone
there with you sharing that ephemeral moment that cannot be recreated.

Which leads me to my following point - despite all that, I am
determined to not let such factors impede me from doing what I want and
what speaks to me, and you shouldn’t either. If you truly want
to do something, why should the prospect of doing it alone
be an obstacle to your will? In the end, the connection you have with
that object or goal is the most important.

This isn’t all with the aim to denigrate people who don’t like being
alone, or make the statement that such people have no substance. To each
his own. But satisfaction ultimately lies in the substance
of an activity and if that is what you’re really after, then go for it.
And all those people you think are judging you...they likely are, given
the stigma of doing things alone, but what does that matter in the grand
scheme of things?

Doing things alone eventually begins to dissipate the feeling
of self-consciousness in public places, and fosters self-awareness
instead. It takes a degree of confidence and initiative to do things
solo, of which you should be proud.