MIL wanting to baby sit

I'm having a disagreement with my MIL. She's a clean freak and believes that babies (all children really) should live in sterile environments. I don't believe this as I feel it compromises a babies/childs ability to build immunity.

After spending the majority of my pregnancy telling me I should get rid of my dog, as he will obviously harm the baby [shocked] (I didn't get rid of him). She is now saying that she should do the majority of the baby sitting when I eventually go back to work (only a few days a week) as she feels my parents aren't suitable as their house isn't sparkling clean (it is clean just not to a clean freak level) and they have pets .

My parents volunteered to do most of the baby sitting and I said yes as they are a lot less highly strung than my MIL. MIL is now not speaking to me and it's annoying my DH. Our DS is our first baby and both our parents first grandchild so I understand that they want to spend time with him as he's fab but then I'm biased

Yabu. I think you need to set ground rules and explain clearly that you are in charge, but you should be grateful she is interested and wants to baby sit. At least she's clean and doesn't want to smoke all over him

I would let her babysit half the time. I don't see being 'too clean' as a problem if standards are normal at home and also in your own parents place. I wouldn't be making favourites out of either set of GP's. Both are valuable in their own way I'm sure.

MIL will have to get over it. She's a rude woman for being insulting about your parents' home and a nasty SOB in telling you to get rid of your dog. Personally I wouldn't have someone like that in my house again but I'm sure you're much nicer than me and will grit your teeth until MIL gets her head around the fact that she won't gain any ground by being rude or cruel.

I don't mind her baby sitting just not very often. I'm not sure I can cope with her comments on having pets and babies in the same house or her commenting on how there is a speck of dust in my house or why don't I do this or that. She's starting to make me feel like a bad mother

If you're going back to work 2 days a week why not let them have a day each? Sounds perfect to me.....short enough that it doesn't matter too much if they spoil orsterilise him but regular so they can build a lovely bond with him. As a mother of two boys, I urge you not to shut out your MIL just because she's a clean freak

I would tell her comments about your and your parents houses are not on and you don't want to hear it anymore. I would Split the childcare between them. All gps are as important as each other.I would also tell her I don't want her making comments about how clean you house/pets are in front of dc. My mum is a clean freak and I noticed it rubbing off and dd. When I told her she stopped and starting being freakishly clean when dd wasn't there.

YABUIf I've read it right, you are talking about a regular time while you are at work each week ?Most sensible thing would be to share it - a day each or whatever hours you will do, halved. Being very clean isn't going to harm your baby, and if you don't have other concerns about her ability to look after your dc, then it will help everyone out if all grandparents are treated equally and fairly. Don't under estimate how tiring looking after a baby or toddler is once you are a grandparent - a few months in, all GPs might be glad it's only half the time it might be.

YANBU to be pissed off at her comments - she's daft and bloody rude.YAalsoNBU to be pissed off that she thinks she could do a better job of babysitting than your parents because she has "higher standards" of cleanliness - bah.

But you would do well to even out the babysitting between your parents and your MIL, to make it fair to both (and to share the load!) - if the only thing you are worrying about is her strange attitudes, and you have no other concerns, then try to be even handed about it.

I would split the childcare evenly, but also take her to task about some of her downright rude and unnecessary comments. I wouldn't put up with that, but I wouldn't deny her seeing her grandchild over it either.

I love the idea of a built in cleaner, OP don't underestimate how great that would be.

Joking aside, its a long haul so having both sets of GPs on board is a good thing, plus its lovely for your DC to having lots of loving people around him. I'd ask DH to ask her to rein in the comments re your parents, they are totally out of order but it may sound better coming from him.

How about planning in loads of really messy activities for him so he doesn't get germ phobic. Its weird, one of my kids loves getting messy, the other doesn't and they've had the same upbringing, nature will out.