Come Back Spring!, ‘Leg Gap,’ and Shopping with the Boys

After I balked at spring arriving because I’d miss my cozy sweaters, I think God is messing with me: it has been cold and windy and the sweaters have come back out of the closet. Now I’m dying to wear this new white lace skirt I got yesterday at Anne Taylor Loft.

And yes, before you ask, that’s exactly how my legs look in it. Ha! Kidding. I was reading an article in a recent issue of Elle or Cosmo or one of those about how “leg gap” is something that young girls are wanting to achieve these days. That is, if you stand with your feet together, your thighs don’t touch at all, all the way up to your crotch. SERIOUSLY? Is that even healthy? I have well-rounded thighs, thank you very much.

Shopping with Paul and Michael (11-year-old son) and Lizzie at the mall was funny – and sort of nerve-wracking – yesterday. I told Paul that I had to return a tank top that didn’t fit and get another size. And that I had to return a shirt to J. Crew for a friend. Lizzie wanted to come to shop, as I always give in and end up buying her a ton of stuff (if she gets me in the right mood). By the way, Lizzie is a fashionista, herself. I’ll try to get some pics of her soon. Anyway, Paul and Michael decided to come because it sounded like we didn’t have a lot of shopping to do and they wanted to eat at California Pizza Kitchen. Now, if I had told a woman that I had two stops to make to return things, she would understand that those two stops would be bracketed with stops in most of the stores in between. The guys clearly didn’t get that. Here’s what the afternoon looked like (if you’re a grammar stickler like I am, forgive the lack of accurate use of quotation marks, it seemed like too much work):

Arrive at the mall; Paul and Michael head off to wander. (Paul told me later that Michael took off and Paul found him in line at Starbucks waiting for a coffee.) Liz and I shop in the Junior section at Nordstrom. She tries on a couple of things and puts two things on hold to return for later if she doesn’t find something else she likes better (an adorable crochet tank top – below, and no, Lizzie does not wear it with her midriff showing! – and a black maxi skirt). I return my tank top. Do they have any straight lace skirts? No.

We go return my friend’s shirt at J. Crew. I ask if they have any straight lace skirts. No.

We head toward Aeropostale. Get sidetracked by Anne Taylor Loft. 40% off everything in the store. In we go. Ah ha! A cream colored lace skirt in the petites section (I am not petite). Only size 4 and 10. I’m a six or 8. Try on the 4: impossible. But wait! The 10 fits! Put it on hold to come back for (if I don’t end up spending too much money on Liz).

Text from the guys: Where are you? Starving. Meet us at California Pizza Kitchen.

We meet. We eat. Paul is researching a treadmill purchase on his phone. Should we get one? He’s been wanting one for years. Sure, I say, if we can afford it. Sure, he says, we can afford it. The boys say, are we heading home now? I say yes, but just a couple of quick stops first.

We go in Aeropostale while Paul and Michael wait outside impatiently. Tank tops: buy one, get 2 free. Liz gets six. (If we can afford a treadmill for Paul, surely we can afford six tank tops for Liz.)

Grab the guys, head back to Anne Taylor Loft. (If we can afford a treadmill for Paul, surely we can afford a 40% off skirt for me, even though I have been shopping like an addict lately. (See the blog of one of my favorite addicts here.) Liz and I enter, the guys roll their eyes, wander off. Buy the skirt, hunt for the guys. See them in a little seating area, but sneak by them to go buy popcorn. Line too long. Back to the guys.

Into Nordstrom. Guys say where’s the car? I tell them, but first we have to go purchase Liz’s items on hold (if we can afford a treadmill for Paul, surely we can afford a crochet tank top and maxi skirt for Liz – and how long do you think I can keep rationalizing this way?). Guys getting tired and annoyed. I send them outside. Buy Liz’s stuff, and finally we leave: Jen and Liz happy and energized, Paul and Michael crabby and tired.

I don’t mean to be casting us all as stereotypes, but it was a pretty stereotypical day. Paul said he wasn’t sure why he came. I said, “I know, you could be napping right now.” He said, “Exactly what I was thinking,” and closed his eyes for the rest of the ride home.

Just reread this, and I make Paul and Michael sound really boring. In fact, they are two of the funniest (and funnest, yes that’s a word) people I have ever met. They and Lizzie are the light of my life!