Reader's Dilemma: "If the Wedding Invitation Says Black-Tie Optional, Which Way Should I Go?"

As a wedding guest, it’s nice to have options for your attire (instead of having to buy a heinous bridesmaid dress you’ll never wear again), but what if you’re not sure which side of formal you should be on?

Writes Lexie: “I was just invited to a friend’s wedding, and the wedding invitation says black-tie optional. I have a very formal satin A-line gown that I once wore to an ultra-fancy black-tie wedding, but what if most guests opt not to wear black tie? I don’t want to stick out! Should I wear something more casual?”

Here’s what I think: You can wear that dress. After all, black-tie is one of the options for the evening, according to the wedding invitation. But if you’re not dying to get a second use out of that particular gown, I’d keep it in the closet. Unless you know other wedding guests whom you can poll ahead of the event, you won’t know just how formal the crowd goes with their attire until you get there. So I say play it safe.

Instead of wearing a dress that would work better at a super-upscale black-tie wedding than at a standard dressy wedding, why not wear a dress that would work pretty well at both? Maybe a dark-colored dress with a hi-lo hem? Or a cocktail dress in a fancy fabric that doesn’t show too much skin (with killer shoes, of course)? Or a floor-length sheath in a not-as-fancy fabric? Obviously, avoid styles that are better suited for more casual fetes (sundresses are a no-no for this party, as are too-tight and too-short dresses), but other than that I don’t think you can go wrong. The black-tie optional is more of a direction for the guys, who can elect (or not elect) to wear a tuxedo.

Have you ever been to a black-tie-optional wedding? What did you wear? What would you advise Lexie to wear to the wedding?