13 November 2014

Continuing on the series I am walking currently with the Atlantean Interivews in relation to Giving up, specifically the second interview in this series, "Giving Up: Understanding" - there was a second part I wanted to touch on in this blog.

The first part was in relation to the trust and belief we place into our minds/our thoughts/how we speak internally to ourselves (back chats) and you can see the self-forgiveness process I walked in relation to that specific point in my previous blog.

Here though a point I would like to discuss, which was mentioned in this second interview from the Atlanteans is in relation to the tsunami that we can experience within our minds when facing specific points.

First - an example for context:

When I first started investigating Desteni and the tools of breathing, writing, self forgiveness and self-corrective application I found, not to long after applying these tools, a flood of reactions coming up within my mind. I noticed just how busy my mind was; there was a constant stream of thoughts, and images and back chats, and future projections and energies as emotions and feelings coming up; I felt as if I was being bombarded by the mind and within this, felt so overwhelmed and lost within it all. I was taken aback as I thought what the hell - here I am finally attempting to become more aware of myself in every moment, to take responsibility for who I was within my mind, to actually get a grip on my experience wherein I could walk more stability rather then the highs and lows I experienced throughout my life, and yet my mind was erupting in a way I had never experienced, like I could not in anyway slow myself down or stop the stampede that was happening within my mind.

What I later was supported to see and could see for myself was that that chaotic experience I was seeing within myself/my mind was nothing that was new - it was nothing that just started since walking my process - it has always existed that way yet I was only now in a position of allowing myself to become aware of it. It was like I opened my eyes for the first time and could see the extent to which I had given up who I was to the existence of the mind; that I was so limited to exist ONLY within my mind that that space within my head was what was busy moving, expanding, existing and only then was I able to see the extent to which I had placed ALL of myself into and as my mind.

And this is exactly the point in which the Atlanteans were speaking about in this second interview series in relation to Giving Up. When we are busy walking a process, doing our writings and self forgiveness, and self corrective application we are busy essentially opening up the point we are facing. In the interview they give the example of correcting nervousness as an experience around others and while one is busy getting to know the nature of this nervousness (can be any point one is facing), and busy finding out what is triggering it, motivating it, the thoughts and back chats that sustain it, and the energies that exist within it - when one is busy getting to know all these dimensions, one is basically opening one's eyes to seeing what is actually Here, and so in that, shedding light on the point, opening it up for ourselves and in doing that, we are opening the flood gates sort to speak.

So it can seem like all of a sudden there is more to this point we are facing/working with; there are more memories, or more reactions, or the energy as emotions and feeling seems to become so much more influential, yet it's nothing new, it's simply ourselves opening ourselves up to what is actually here; what has always been here. And this is another way in which we (as the mind) can manipulate ourselves into giving up - the tornado that can be unleashed when we are walking certain points can feel overwhelming and absolutely impossible to stop and correct - yet within this is where we must find the resolve to stand stable, realizing our ability and potential to walk through it; to stand as the eye of the storm - to stand in the center of ourselves/our minds/the inner storm brewing and to find our stability to walk it through - to not in fact give up, but to rather see we are more than able to stop, breathe and direct ourselves through the storm to calmer skies.

So I could absolutely relate to this point mentioned in the Atlantean series and how despite the chaos we create internally - we have the ability to slow ourselves down and in fact STOP what is going on. Yes it can take a process, yet we have the tools to apply ourselves, and the awareness to see, realize, and understand that we are not creating anything new within our minds, instead we are seeing for the first time the extent to which we have separated ourselves into/as our minds, which can be disheartening, yet the point of this interview and of this blog is to realize that it doesn't have to be more than us. We can make that decision to stabilize ourselves in the face of any turbulence, whether internally or externally, and find the resolve to change ourselves in relation to what we face so that nothing moves or sways us from the realization that despite the chaos, I am here, I am breath, and I am stability and so to walk our process through the mind within such a starting point.

The defense mechanisms of the mind seem vast and cunning, yet through our self-awareness and self-diligence to apply ourselves and to NOT give up on ourselves, we are capable of amazing change. And so in that inner-storm exists another gift. The awareness we are allowing of ourselves to seeing even more of who we are, how we exist, the problems we've created and so in that, the solution/change/correction we can live.

I suggest anyone interested in learning how to walk as the eye of the inner and outer storm, to take the free online course, Desteni I Process Lite, wherein you learn the tools to walk yourself to stability, and how to direct yourself and your life in ways where you no longer feel like things are too much, or more than you, but that you in fact have directive power to lead yourself in ways that are most supportive.

In the blogs to follow, I will continue with the process I'm walking with the support of the Atlanteans Series, "Giving Up."

06 November 2014

Continuing on with the series of blogs I have been walking with the support of the Eqafe interview by the Atlanteans, 'Giving Up' - here I am going into the second interview in the series titled, "Giving Up: Understanding."The first part in this interview was looking at the trust and faith we give to our minds, specifically the back chats, or voices in our head that basically tell us who we are and how we 'should' react to something. We define ourselves so much as our minds, we never stop and question whether that is in fact who we are. Of course we don't question it, because we have accepted it as part of ourselves, we are 'thinking beings', we follow the thoughts in our mind, we trust the words we speak to ourselves, and we don't for a minute think that maybe there is something beyond that, or within that that is the real essence of our beingness - our presence.So the following self-forgiveness is specifically for this acceptance and allowance; of defining myself according to my back chats, trusting and believing that what is coming up within my mind as how I speak to myself is valid and real, and to allow that to direct me into how I experience myself and ultimately influence the decisions and choices I make in my life. Part 2 of this interview will be continued in the blogs to follow.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in the back chats as the voices in my head that suggest I should just ‘give up’ when things become difficult or when I react to a situation wherein I think and believe I ‘cannot do this’I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the back chats in my head, as the way in which I talk to myself in my mind about particular situations, and when those voices that I have defined as myself suggest I should give up, to trust that that is accurate, and valid and that I should just follow alongI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question who I am within my mind as the back chat/ways in which I speak to myself in my mind, that gives direction to me in terms of how I should experience myself, and never realizing that if I give myself just one moment – one moment to breathe and silence the voices within – I may see that I am not actually those back chats, that I exist and can make decisions that do not have back chat as an influence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply trust the back chats in my mind, as how I speak to myself in relation to specific points I face, and to trust that those voices are in fact me, and have my best interest in mind, without investigating for myself who I am without the energy reaction as the back chat is, and how it fuels the fire of conflict within me wherein it keeps me accepting myself as incapable, and that I should just give up alreadyI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the voices in my head, as me as my back chat, ever speaks with common sense, instead of realizing it’s always protecting some idea I have about me, some nature in which I am not willing to let go of, as I think and believe that I am in that protecting myself – instead of seeing, self honestly, the limitation the back chats exist as as it’s always to give up, or to follow the experience of positive or negative energy, and never sees for REAL in terms of actual, practical, physical reality and the ability I have to direct myself without the voices in my head/back chats telling me who/how I should beI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in and believe in the back chats within my mind as how i speak to myself in relation to parts/aspects of my life, instead of realizing that those thoughts are like implants, influenced and impulsed from the life I have lived, the environment in which I was exposed to, the media in which I watched, and the societal/cultural norms I have accepted as my own - that those are not in fact ME, as a free-will choice to decide for me who I am, as why would I chose to be one who gives up, when I've come to see that I can in fact 'move through' any challenges that arise within meI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the moment I see I am back chatting in my mind, particularly in the context of giving up, the moment they arise, as I now see, realize and understand that it is not really who I am, and that I can actually find solutions rather than simply running away and accepting myself as inadequate to direct myself to whatever it is I am facing, and reacting toI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within defining myself as my mindWhen and as I see myself trusting and believing in the back chats of my mind, particularly when I am telling myself that I should just give up on something/myself – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that me continuing to participate in the back chats and not stopping myself when I see myself talking to myself in my mind, I am then trusting and believing in them and thus defining myself according to them. I also see, realize, and understand that in trusting and believing in my back chats as how I speak to myself in my mind throughout my life, I have allowed myself to squander my potential, as I always gave up when my mind told me to – never pushed through, never breathed, never considered I could actually continue and change ME in relation to what I was wanting to give up, instead of thinking it’s something outside of me that’s the problem. And so I commit myself to stop and breathe when/as I see back chats arise in the nature of giving up, and instead investigate through writing what it is I am wanting to run from, what beliefs and ideas I’m holding about me that I think I cannot ‘do it’ or ‘walk through it’ or ‘continue with it’. I commit myself to no more define myself as the back chats in my mind, and instead to slow myself down when they arise as to place myself in the position of who I really am, as life, as the breathe, as the silence as me. I commit myself to embrace the silencing of my mind as to support myself to make self-honest, common sense assessments in relation to points/situations/relationships I face, and to thus no longer follow the energy, follow the experience, follow the voice in my mind that suggests I should just give up.

02 November 2014

Here I'm continuing walking the EQAFE'sAtlantean Series, 'Giving Up.' I suggest to read my previous blog for context.The first part, or first dimension of this particular 'giving up' outflow was when one has a negative reaction to a particular event/situation in one's life, which is what you can read in my previous blog.The following is the Self-forgiveness in relation to the 2nd dimension or part 2 of the initial phase of activating the 'giving up' system, which is the back chat/voices in the head that we participate in that fuel the giving up decision, where we began justifying why it's okay for us to give up; the reasons and excuses we give ourselves to take that particular direction/path/road.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to my initial negative reaction to the change in another's interaction with me as the back chat of “it’s too much”I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the back chat of “It will never work” in relation to another and the relationship with them and the overall points I face within myself in relation to that pointI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inadequate in relation to the point I face with another in thinking and believing and defining myself as incapable of handling/taking on/directing myself through/as the point and so instead want to just give upI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of “why even bother” in relation to a relationship/interaction with another within/as a reaction – wherein I think and believe the struggle and conflict I face within myself in relation to another/the relationship is not worth it – that it’s not worth it for me to go through such a point as not allowing myself to see the bigger picture and instead only focused on that one moment as the one reaction which I think and believe is ‘too much’ and I cannot direct myself within/as itI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “it’s better if it ends” in relation to another/a social relationship in thinking and believing that ending it/giving up is the solution to the points I face within myself in relation to the point, instead of stopping, breathing and finding solutions that do not involve me just giving up because I think there is nothing I can do or that I am inadequate/incapable, and rather see how I can change as the ‘doing’ which can be done to bring the point to solution rather than giving up/acceptance of conflictI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “I can’t do this” in thinking and believing that the reactions I face in relation to another is more than me/superior to me and I am incapable/inadequate of walking through as self-directive principle and so rather think and believe that I cant do it and so I shouldn't do it as giving up on myselfI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “they don't want this/they don't care" in relation to another as a justification in which I use to manipulate myself to giving up, which is the direction I have already allowed of/as myself to go, and instead of taking responsibility for this, allow such back chats as ‘it’s them who wants to give up’ so that I can give up and absolve myself from facing the reality and responsibility that I am in fact the one giving upI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “what’s the point” in relation to another/social relationship and the points I face within that in thinking and believing there is no way I can ‘get out of it’ or find stability within a moment of inner conflictI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “what are we doing” as a way in which I manipulate myself into giving up in relation to another/a social relationship – as questioning the interaction/relationship as if ‘that’ is the problem, instead of seeing ME as the active participant and so self-responsible for my own creation as the interaction/relationshipI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up within the relationship in moments of reactions, as the back door in which I’ve created to be a quick fix for problems I think I cannot change/find solutions for, instead of realizing that what I am facing within the interaction/relationship is ME, and to want to give up is to give up on ME, and so instead of allowing this – rather investigate what it is I am in conflict with, as it exists within me, and so find solutions, stay and face ME instead of running away as giving upWhen and as I see myself existing within/as back chats in the nature of giving up and justifying why it’s okay that I give up on myself within/as a relationship/interaction with another – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that in a moment of reaction I have the tendency to not see the big picture, and not see that I can stabilize myself and see more clearly, and so I commit myself to not allow myself to participate in the giving up back chats as it’s a way of running away from me, not realizing it’s NOT a solution and in the end I will be faced with the same points, as they exist within/as ME and so I commit myself to not participate in back chats as giving up, and instead breathe until I stabilize, write out the points I am reacting towards and as, and find the practical solution as the corrective application I can live to change who I am in relation to the point I am reacting to in relationship/interaction with another. Will continue in the next blog with the 2nd interview in this series...