Sunday, January 21, 2007

I thought this stuff would be good and disgusting enough for a stand-up comedy routine:-

My parents glossed over some very important things when I was growing up. They either assumed I knew these things already or thought I'd somehow have to learn them on my own and left it at that.

This was a terrible mistake. I'm still paying for it.

When I was thirteen, when most kids learnt about the facts of life, my father taught me about road rules. Yes, at a tender age when others were being told about how babies were made and where they came from, I was learning about how to avoid big vehicles. When others were learning about ovaries, I was learning about overtaking. So, though I knew more about cars and cycles, I didn't know some of the more important stuff, like where the clitoris was, for instance. It's true, it's a true story, some kids I knew already knew this stuff, at that age.

One kid even showed me his.

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Have you ever felt that sensation of dissatisfaction when you do many things at once and end up doing none of them well and you feel sad at having wasted your energy and time? It's like jerking off when you desperately need to pee. You don't do either thing well. It's because you're screwing with your brain; it's confused. It's going, "FUCKER!!!! Tell me what fluid to send out first!!!!!!"

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I know, not very classy.

Naale, Mysooru-ge, I am going. With grandparents and sister. To visit grandfather's elder brother. And also friends I had played cricket with in the golden days of my childhood, much like Swaminathan. One among them is called Chotu, a fellow who is a complete antithesis to(of?) his name. He is as big as Mani, in Mr Narayan's book.