March 19, 2013

Is your writing life or career brimming with
creativity, vitality and forward momentum?

This past month I've talked to three people whose writing
careers were so stuck that they started to cry when they spoke to me about the
pain of not writing their books or working in dull, dull writing careers.

These conversations broke my heart, because so often the
only thing standing between you and the practice of expressing your
“brilliance" in your writing career is...well, it's you.

I decided to put together a new resource to help you break
out of your dullness, finish writing your book and help
you fire up your writing career. And I'd like you to have it
for free:

Fire in the Belly

Name:

Email:

I’ve packed tips,
casestudies and a lot of heart
into this simple-to-use audio and transcript. Give Fire in the Belly a listen and you’ll
get motivated and inspired to:

Finish your
book.

Craft and be
guided by an authentic, vibrant and bright vision for your craft, your
publishing goals and your career.

Transform your
lackluster professional writing business into satisfying work that earns
you what you’re worth.

Just enter your name
and email above and you’ll be able to download
your special report instantly.

Come Visit

When you grab your copy of Fire in the Belly, you’ll see thatI’ve redesigned my website over at www.CoachMarla.com. Click the Services link (above) to check it
out.

FYI, starting next week I’ll be posting new blog entries to
the new blog -- www.CoachMarla.com/blog/
and will no longer be adding new content to The
Relaxed Writer. It’s been a
wonderful 8 years, and now it’s time to grow.
Look forward to seeing you in my new online home!

(While you're at it, I invite you to take a look at my new
coaching programs and website. I’m very
excited to share my new work with you.)

p.s. - Yes - please feel free to share this special gift
with friends. This all-new new MP3 and 13-page transcript are chock-full
of insights and practical tips to fire up your writing life and career: coachmarla.com/fire-in-the-belly/

January 31, 2013

She had a big project coming up. And although she was nervous, she decided that everything would unfold with ease and grace…and it did. She got the results she wanted and had worked for, all because she took a moment to decide what she wanted.

I know this may sound quite simple, but it works.

A simple case study.

A few weeks ago, I coached a musician -- a guy who's quite accomplished in his business-world day job -- to create a new music school. He came to me for help because he'd gotten overwhelmed with completing a grant application to fund his new venture.

We talked about his vision for the music school, and our conversation revealed his intentions for the project were two-fold: to serve his community, and to shift his livelihood to the arts. The grant seemed like a good idea because, well…it was there…

The thing is, my client jumped in to developing his project before he was crystal clear about his intention. He'd always assumed that his music school needed to be non-profit, and when he saw the grant he thought he should apply. But our coaching conversation revealed that a for-profit model -- one that would enable him to make a living and also serve the community with some pro-bono or sliding scale work -- was more closely aligned with his intentions. It took a coaching conversation, a powerful kind of talk with an objective third party, for him to get clear.

The best part about this clarity? No grant application needed. And his overwhelm and resistance disappeared. Instead, he was now free to get busy with the exciting (and yes, kinda' scary) work of choosing his services, committing to his project and starting to network and get the word out to prospective students.

My client moved out of overwhelm into a state of ease. And grace.

Your goal is often closer than you think.

It's very easy to put roadblocks in our way when we're facing a scary part of our project.

- That's the reason so many solo business owners think they have to "get the website done" before they dare to tell anyone about their services.

- That's the reason it's so damn tempting to over-research a topic or a chapter when you write.

We're kind of ingenious in a backwards kind of way. Because if we're so busy dealing with the roadblocks, we don't have to take the scary steps we need to that will potentially expose us to rejection or disappointment.

We can stay safely stuck.

Coaching Challenge

I'd like you to write the words, "ease" and "grace" down and post them in your workspace.

Then I want you to observe your writing mindset in the coming week.

(Take a look at your to-do list, too.)

Be alert for self-made obstacles, which often present themselves as big projects or tasks you're resisting. Ask yourself, "Is this task truly necessary? Could I move forward without it?"

Approach this exercise with a sense of humor and compassion for yourself. (You may find, like me, that you are amazingly inventive at keeping yourself "busy.")

Practice this new habit regularly and you'll be one step closer to trading your "spin out" for clarity, ease and grace.

This Thursday, January 24*

10am Pacific / 1pm Eastern

*Can't join us live? Register anyways & I'll share the full class recording with you soon after the call.

Name

Email

Privacy note: I guard your privacy as I do my own. I will never share, sell or disclose your contact information with an outside party. You've got my word.

-----

About Marla

Marla
Beck helps writers and creative types to love their lives and pursue
their careers with passion. As a songwriter, vocalist, MFA-educated
writer and mother of a kindergartener, Marla is no stranger to the
challenges and rewards of living a rich, balanced and on-track creative
and professional life.

In practice since 2006, Marla’s wise, holistic approach
creates real and lasting change for her clients, who range from
published authors and seasoned freelance journalists to literary-minded
professionals and business owners in other fields.

Marla supports her coaching clients through all phases of
projects – from exploring to planning to execution – with an appealing
blend of analytical smarts, years of daily meditation practice and a
heart that’s learned much from facing life-threatening illness at an
early age. Writers who coach with Marla finish their books, launch new
income streams and discover brand-new passions and projects they can’t
wait to pursue.

January 16, 2013

Recently I coached several mom writers who decided that they were too lazy to achieve their writing goals. When I heard their stories and harsh self-judgments, it really broke my heart. I wasn't convinced they were "lazy" at all. And I'm not convinced you are, either.

If you're prone to feeling like a Lazy Writer, please read on. Here are 3 practical tips to get you out of your rut and into action.

1. "I can't get up early to write."

Can someone please tell me who decided that the only best time to write is early in the morning?

Don't get me wrong: personally, I'm a chirpy morning person who loves to get up at 5am to meditate, stretch and "be" before the day begins. (Of course, by 9pm I'm not much of a conversationalist, but that's another story.)

We're not all made the same. And early risers don't get dibs on writerly productivity.

I may sound flip here, but I do mean it sincerely. If you aren't someone who gets up early to write, and you feel like the reason why is because you're "lazy," please S-T-O-P.

Sounds like your body has a natural rhythm that differs from the go-go-go norms of our society.

And that's OK.

What matters is that you release the need to be anything other than you are. (That bears repeating: Release the need to be anything other than you are.)

What matters is that you stop draining your energy with self-rebuke and start focusing instead on finding writing and productivity solutions that work for YOU.

Remember those mom writers? Once I helped them to reframe their dilemma ("I really want to write, but I'm not getting up early enough to do it") and let go of expecting themselves to be different…we were able to make real, tangible progress. Today, they're showing up regularly to work on book-length writing projects -- a far cry from where we began!

If you think you can't be a writer because the early hours don't work for you, think again and follow these writers' leads. By letting go of "lazy" and starting to accept themselves just as they are…

They freed up more energy to write, and they starting doing their work when it worked for them.

They tracked their progress and discovered their own best productivity practices.

They're writing their books.

You can just imagine how much happier they are. All because they became willing to let go of "lazy."

2. "I blew off the whole week."

Let me tell you something: we often pressure ourselves to produce, produce, produce. (I know I can fall into this quite easily. And when I do, it doesn't serve me well.)

When a client comes to our coaching call with the report that he blew off an entire week and spent it being "lazy," I hear that as an important signal. (Not as a truth.)

Because here's the deal:

Sometimes we get out of our own way long enough to dig in and really attack our goals. We work longer than we'd planned. We add in extra writing sessions and start to burn ourselves out.

Then our Inner Rebel, that stabilizing force inside of us that wants to regulate our energy, does it's job and….well, it rebels.

So we space out online.

Get suddenly obsessed with media, trolling for back issues or episodes or new releases.

We may even blow off our exercise routines, household chores, etc.

If you think you're "too lazy" to pursue your writing goals because you had an off-week (or an off-month), I'm not buying it.

Get back in balance by acknowledging and honoring your need for rest and play. Your "laziness" is just a signal to rebalance your energy and your life.

3. "I'll never do it - I haven't so far…I'm just lazy."

Well hello there, smokescreen.

If you're novel's still not finished, your business isn't launched or your freelance career still isn't on track after years of yearning and wishing it were so…

Guess what? I'm not buying it. That kind of reasoning is like saying to yourself, "I'll never lose the extra pounds because it hasn't happened yet."

(Huh?)

If you are willing to take action to achieve your personal, life and business goals, you're going to have to get a bit uncomfortable.

When you to take a new risk and dare to say YES! to your dreams, you may challenge your comfort zones when it comes to:

- cash (sometimes)- self-confidence (often)- saying "no" to other things- standing up for what you believe in

(Personally, I think that when we're learning new things, getting more clear about our commitments to ourselves and others, and daring to stand up more for what we believe in, that's an easy & wonderful recipe for happiness. But, I digress.)

Given the scary and unknown future, it's no wonder we often choose to stay comfortable by keeping things just the way they are.

If you choose to continue calling yourself lazy, you don't have to do anything but nurse the same old story, and let years go by without truly living your life or going for what matters most to you.

It's tough to remember sometimes, but we always have a choice.

What will you choose today? To stay stuck by labeling yourself "lazy?" Or to side-step your excuses by learning to address your "I'm lazy" habit head-on?

January 07, 2013

Are you keeping yourself small to keep others comfortable? It takes guts to write when you know it'll make people around you uncomfortable. Click PLAY for practical tips and inspiration to help you deal with pushback from people you love.

Have you ever lost a few pounds or made another exciting life change, only to find that one of your friends simply can't deal with the New You?

Perhaps she can't restrain herself from making underhanded comments or offering you dark-chocolate fudge -- even after you've clearly said "No thanks."

Perhaps she gets so upset she can't talk to you any more.

Sometimes we keep ourselves stuck because it makes others around us more comfortable. It can be easier to carry a few pounds than to risk upsetting our friends or family. It can be easier to bury our need to write under endless to-do lists and obligations than to take time from family to honor our talent and write.

I get it.

Recently I've come to terms with the fact that I've been holding myself back as a musician in order to not disturb my household. My 5-year-old certainly doesn't like it when I divert my attention to the guitar (unless I'm playing exactly the song she wants to hear and sing along to)!

And my wonderful husband -- who loves and supports me in so many ways, has often gotten uncomfortable when I've practiced music in the house. It's hard for him not to clap and sing along when I practice. And he wishes my technique were more flashy, my songs more rhythmic.

Although he really wants me to flourish, when I practice in the house, my husband's forced to contend with his own feelings about wanting to learn an instrument and (so far) not logging in the time he needs to get better. When I choose to make music in the house, he's forced to face his own desire to perform and the fact that (for right now) he's not choosing to move himself any closer to his goal.

In response, I've been avoiding my music. I convinced myself that I was just postponing my art until the time was "right." Which means that for the past 8 years, I've avoided being fully "me" in life: deeply expressive. Musically sassy, sometimes. And super happy!

A few months ago, I decided to change the situation.

I rented a beautiful new office near my house, and created a small, private studio space within for my keyboard, voice, flute and guitar.

(Now whenever I show up to work, I also sing.)

I took action and invested in my art. Now I have the privacy I need to try out new musical ideas and to play as unrhythmically as I want. :)

And know what's happened as a result?

My husband took me out for my 45th birthday recently. At my request, we enjoyed a night of Indian food and jazz.

And wouldn't you know that before the night was through, my lovely husband told one of the musicians about my interest in singing. And before we left, I got his card so we could set up a time for vocal coaching.

The moral of the story is this:

If you're not free to write as you wish, the responsibility to change the situation is on you.

Sometimes, like the friend who's envious of her newly-thin girlfriend, we may lose a friend.

But more often than not, we can find a way to do our own creative work within the very life we have.

Perhaps you need to get to the library more often.

Perhaps you need to set up a writing date with a friend.

Perhaps you need to tolerate a few weeks of grumpy-partner syndrome as your spouse gets used to your new writing hours.

Whatever change you need to make, please follow my lead and dare to make it.

Because the people who love us are the ones who truly want to see us happy. They may even feel inspired by your example, and more empowered to take action to pursue their own dreams.

In fact, you should have seen the smile on my husband's face when he got back from comedy improv class the other night. He plans to go back again, and I can't wait to see him perform.

December 17, 2012

“Just as a painter needs light in order to put the finishing touches to his picture, so I need an inner light, which I feel I never have enough of in the autumn.” -- Leo Tolstoy

Artists and yogis alike speak of the power of "inner light" -- a subtle but powerful beam of insight, strength and creativity that radiates from within.

When your inner light burns bright, people notice!

You look and feel more beautiful. You're more patient with your family and friends. You make decisions with courage and confidence.You feel more creative, more whole.

It's natural for our inner light to ebb and flow throughout the year. (That's why people around the world celebrate festivals of light, like Diwali,Hanukkah, Christmas, this time of year.)

So how's your inner light these days?

Is the holiday season making you feel even more radiant, or is your shopping, your schedule or your diet diminishing your inner light?

Here are a few tips to help you stay centered, calm and creative this winter:

1. Think warmth.

It takes considerable energy to brace ourselves for the winter chill when we leave the house, no matter how well we're insulated against the cold. When you return home from a shopping trip, errand or run, take great care to warm your senses when you return home. Get into warm, dry clothes immediately, then take a moment to savor a hot cup of tea or milk, preferably by the light of a fire or candle. Imagine the beverage warming you from the inside out. And let your eyes enjoy the randomness and mystery of a burning flame. You can tuck this simple grounding ritual into your day with ease, and even if you must return to the work of the day within minutes, the effects of small moments of time spent warming your body and gifting yourself with beauty do add up. Enjoy!

2. Be silent.

Winter is a natural time to turn within. If the holiday season is a stressful time for you, time spent in reflective silence is even more critical to your wellbeing.

A few tips for very busy writers:

- Freewrite. I used to open a text document every day before I started work. I'd set the timer for 5 or 7 minutes and proceed to dump my thoughts -- worries, fears, strange ideas and potential creative gems -- on the page without discretion. I'd write as fast as I could, and when the timer dinged, I'd often stop what I was writing in mid-sentence.

Quick, focused writing like this can do wonders to clear your mind and reconnect you to your inner light. Investing 5 minutes at the beginning of a writing session can save you much more time that than later on, because you're less anxious and more clear, calm and happy as you work.

- Journal in lists. When I was in my 20s, I spent hours lavishing the page with daily journal entries. Life these days is quite a bit busier, and honestly, journaling as I once did just doesn't appeal to me right now. What works instead is journaling in lists. No time to delve into a recap of your day on the page? Craft lists of 5, 7 or 10 things and be done with it. Besides being a great journaling tool ("5 Faces I Remember from the Day," "10 Things I'm Grateful For," "6 Places I've Never Been and Want to Visit,"), list-making is a great way to stimulate creative thought and ideas.

3. Think community.

Time spent alone is important. But stoking inner fire doesn't have to happen only in solitude…especially during the winter season.

Use the world to fill you up!

Think about the gatherings, events or occasions that light you up during the holiday season. Do you like to attend a favorite musical performance, spiritual gathering or annual holiday party? Do you take your kids on a favorite outing each year? Do you drive by certain neighborhoods or walk down certain downtown streets to enjoy the lights?

Approach your holiday outings and gatherings as opportunities to delight your senses, warm your heart and share your inner light with family and friends. This new perspective can help you approach everything -- holiday baking, gift shopping, errands -- with an attitude of generosity towards yourself and others. Just remembering "You" in the midst of everyday activities is an act of love and respect for yourself.

These everyday mindfulness practices will help you feel more connected to yourself and happier as you celebrate the season.

November 26, 2012

I'll bet that sometime this week you'll find yourself in the checkout line of your local grocery store. (Yep, even writers need to eat.)

So…how can you stimulate your creativity and stay connected to your writing life as you navigate life's mundane responsibilities?

Here are a couple of tips to get you started.

Appreciate.

Years ago I called a nearby Benedictine nunnery and asked to stay with them for a week-long writing retreat. I lived alone for a week in a sparsely furnished room. The grounds were cultivated, the food unmemorable, and my sense of the place was monochromatic somehow, as if everything was washed in a diluted, chestnut stain.

On the way home, I decided I'd stop into a Seven-Eleven for a tuna sandwich.

I got out of my car and walked into the store. The door swung closed behind me and I remember standing at the threshold, dumbstruck.

The store lights were garish and just past the cashier was a plexiglass-covered cooker with sumo-sized sausages spinning slowly round and round. I looked to the left and saw a shelf with endless -- endless! -- varieties of nuts. Above my head, slick banners saturated with intense reds and greens swung in the draft of the air conditioner.

I got the tuna sandwich. But I lost some of my appetite that day.

I realized I wanted to live more simply.

And that we truly have SO MUCH.

(If you've traveled outside the country and returned, I know you can relate to this story.)

Love It! Tip #1:

The next time you find yourself at the grocery store, go down the cereal aisles and try to see the shelves with fresh eyes. Notice how abundant your world is, and how nearly obscene it is that we have so many tastes and textures, boxes and brands to choose from.

As you add an item to your basket, set the intention that you'll use the food or product to create good. Say a small "thank you" inside.

You can transform the mundane task of shopping into a practice of gratitude, an instant mood-lifter.

But beyond feeling good, the practice of gratitude can help you perceive and receive more wonderfulness in your life and writing. The next time you come up with an enticing creative idea, see a fascinating cloud formation or notice someone doing good for someone else, say a simple "thank you." Repeat often.

When you practice relating to the world with thankfulness, you stoke your creativity and set yourself up for perceiving -- and receiving -- more insights, creative ideas and abundance in your life… and your writing.

Try it and see.

Notice.

Part of writing well is being truthful and responsive. To perceive right action on the page and be able to respond to your insights takes agility and awareness. And there's no better place to cultivate your ability to see clearly than observing yourself out in the "real" world.

Take your trip to the grocery store, for example.

As you cruise the aisles, watch how you react to other people as you shop.

Do you fully engage with the deli clerk? Or simply state your order curtly?

How do you respond when someone crowds you out of the potato section? Cuts in front of you in line? Do you hold on to your anger or eventually bless the person and let them go?

Do you tell the cashier when she forgets to ring up the almost-empty coffee in your hand?

Lots of us try to enlighten ourselves with meditation or other personal development practices. But if you're not trying to practice what you're learning out in the real world --- away from the mat, as my meditation teacher likes to say -- then you're missing the whole point.

Love It! Tip #2:

If you aspire to practicing kindness, patience and honesty when you're being "spiritual," use your outing to the grocery store to practice being all these good things out in the world, too. That process -- of watching your reactions and aligning them more closely to your ideals -- correlates directly to the practice of being truthful and responsive when you write. Cultivate discernment as you write. Use your weekly trip to the grocery store to practice the art of listening in the real world, too.

Smile.

There's also room for fun.

If you go to the market on a weekly basis, you'll start to see familiar faces behind the register. Sometimes, before the clerk has a chance to ask how I'm doing, I ask how their day is going. It's interesting to watch people's reactions. Sometimes I get a cynical "what's it to you, lady?" look, but more often than not I see the man or woman behind the name tag straighten their backs and smile as they tell me about their day.

The next time I come in, we have a little relationship to build on. Suddenly the world seems a little warmer and welcoming as a result.

There are lots of opportunities to smile at the market. If you don't feel like talking much, then don't. Just watch the people in line. Or spend extra time in the chocolate aisle to marvel at the wrappers and colors. Linger for a moment at the candle section to check out the scents, or hang out in the gadgets aisle to check out the action on the new tongs or garlic press. (Hey, to each his own.)

The point is, you're spending your time at the market. A brief slice of your life at the market.

Bring your humanity with you and find something to delight in when you shop.
When you practice being more fully alive wherever you go, you'll have even more of yourself to draw from when you sit back down to write.

February 09, 2012

And almost daily for months, I've been aware that the pad that's supposed to cushion my shoulder has NOT been doing its job.

And what have I done about it?

Nothing. Nada.

Instead, every time I noticed my shoulder hurting, I tugged at the strap and forced it to turn over.

With the padding temporarily in place, my shoulder stopped hurting and I got on with things. Until moments later when the strap righted itself, the pad flipped back over and my shoulder hurt again.

Things went something like this:

"Ow." (Quick fix.)

"Ow!" (Quick fix.)

Etc.

(What a cycle!)

Today I found myself standing outside in the sunshine, waiting for the transit bus. My laptop bag was on the ground in front of me and I noticed the length of the strap as it laid on the sidewalk.

Didn't look that tricky to fix.

In less than one minute, I unhooked a metal clasp and refastened it so my laptop bag's shoulder pad was properly in place. The whole trip home, my shoulder felt great.

And the whole trip home I kept asking myself why the heck I hadn't taken the simple step to fix my twisted shoulder strap much, much earlier.

I realized that, rather than take action, I'd been busy thinking...

...I'd get to it later, "when I had time"

...the simple task of fixing the strap right would be a lot more difficult, time-consuming and frustrating than it really was.

...I could rely on a quick fix, when a single, focused minute of my attention was all it took to solve the annoying situation and make myself more comfortable.

So what's all this got to do with your writing?

I don't want you to make the same silly mistake.

Take a few minutes right now to think about your writing environment. Anything broken? Any supplies need restocking? How's the lighting?

We life coaches call the small things that annoy us "tolerations," and addressing them is a great way to boost your energy and help you focus on the things that matter most in your life.

In the first few weeks of our work together, I have each new coaching client look at their writing environment, life and career with an inquisitive eye. Once we have a list, my clients get busy. (And boy do they feel better.)

I'm guessing that if you really think about it, you can find a single thing (or two or three) that you could improve in just a single, focused minute.

You don't need to get little divets in your shoulder each day. Take a little action and see for yourself how great it feels to invest a focused minute or two on your well-being and comfort and ease.