The first time I shared a room with someone, I was nineteen, living with my then-boyfriend in a decrepit studio apartment off Hollywood blvd, where drug busts routinely happened on the roof and prostitutes camped out on the curbs I parked my car against.

I moved there alone at first, so when my long-distance boyfriend decided to move from Dallas to be with me, I was thrilled. Because I was in love with him but also because waking up dead seemed less likely with someone to share my room with.

Sharing a room with someone, I soon realized, would take some serious getting used to -- nowhere to go for privacy besides the toilet, lock the door. What's mine is yours. What's yours is mine. Sharing is caring. La la la.

Growing up my room was an extension of my SOUL - ceilings boasting Big Bopper pin-ups of Jason Priestley's sideburns and walls papered with Sassy magazine fashion spreads. Windows ornamented with dream-catchers, mirrors splattered with stickers, dressers scribbled with sharpies proclaiming my undying love for MikeBjayEricIsaiah Chris. Even as a young child, my bedroom was my looking glass. My private space of make-believe and tea parties, my place where stories came true, so when I became pregnant with Fable and Hal and I discussed the kids sharing a room, I was hesitant, hoping that by the time Fable was born, we’d be able to afford a bigger space, an extra room so the kids wouldn’t have to share theirs.

But Hal lost his job soon after I found out I was pregnant and as Fable’s due date neared, it became increasingly obvious that the nursery of my dreams was simply that.

That much like it was with Archer, no room of his own to bring him home to, our new baby would also have to share.

Where I grew up, children didn't share rooms. My friends all had rooms of their own. No Boys Allowed signs plastered to their doors and most likely for that reason, part of me felt a tremendous (and in retrospect, ridiculous) amount of guilt that we couldn’t provide for our children their own separate spaces.

My disappointment inspired a short script I wrote for a friend's collaborative film project, about ten-tear-old twins (Max and Daisy) who also had no choice but to share a room.

The story goes like this: frustrated with one another and desperate for their own space, Max and Daisy decide, one night, to build a wall in the middle of their room. First with blocks and an old dollhouse, then with books and discarded toys, memories found between torn book pages and long-lost Legos. And as they build, they remember and share and read aloud passages of their favorite stories, express fears: come together.

The wall eventually hits the ceiling and there is nothing left to build. Separation accomplished. Except, not really.

At the end of the story, Max and Daisy fall asleep on their floor in sleeping bags, faces pressed against the physical wall that has replaced the emotional one; hands reaching out for the other through broken dollhouse windows.

The film was produced last year, weeks after Fable was born and I was able to plant my kids' belongings on the set: Archer's pirate hat and Fable's doll, a sort of creative witchcraft, rehabilitation through short story.

And so, much like the happy ending of my book became the happy beginning of my marriage, my twenty-page script became my three-trimester peace of mind. If anything, I became hopeful and excited to gift Archer and Fable the opportunity of togetherness.

"You will never be lonely as long as you share space," I told Archer, the night we put them together for the first time. “Fable will always be on the other side of the room."

And it is true.

We put them down together every night. Read stories, the four of us, on Archer’s bed. Kiss them goodnight, one and then the other. And in the morning they wake up together, Archer the first to his sister's crib to say, "good morning!"

One day we'll snag ourselves a bigger place, with more space for us and an extra bedroom so the kids don't have to share. Meanwhile, the thought of separating them? Makes me endlessly sad.

My brother and I are almost 5 years apart. (4 years and 9 months) When I was 8, my parents divorced and my brother, mom, and I moved in with my grandparents. My brother and I had to share a room.

It was an awesome time for us! We were always super close, he was (and still is) my absolute favorite person on the planet, and sharing a room during that weird transitional period was important for us. My brother was always a quiet person and I was always a chatterbox, pretty much narrating every single event of every single day. Each night though, after my mom would put us to bed and shut out the lights, he'd talk his little heart out about his day and his feelings, and I'd actually be quiet listen to another human being for more than two seconds.

We got older and my grandpop built a wall in the middle of the bedroom to give us our own rooms. (Kind of cool actually, no one could tell it used to be one bedroom!) We still slept with our beds head-to-head, just separated by a wall.

Then I moved out and they tore the wall down and now my brother has the master bedroom all to himself (the youngest person in the house has the master bedroom, ha!)

Wow, lots of unnecessary info, haha! In any case, sharing a room was a brief but important time in our lives, I think. We always had a close relationship but that definitely made it closer. I always remember his little voice in the dark chattering on about his days. We were kind of like our own secret society.

I have a strong feeling that Fable and Archer are going to develop the same type of bond I have with my bro. While the thought of separating them may make you sad, I can tell you from experience that the bond created and the lessons learned will stick. That's pretty fuckin' cool.

I love the pictures with their own personal street signs! Even if one day they will hang on the walls of two different rooms, hundreds of miles away from each other at some point, I think the kids will always remember when they were so close together. So cool.

Jamie
| 11:58 AM

I love this post. I never shared a room, but always consider having my two girls (almost 5 and 2) share - because I want them to bond. Now that the 2 yr old is potty trained and ready for a big girl bed, I think we are going to do it. Thanks so much for sharing and reminding me how much I LOVE Sassy magazine and Jane Pratt. And how much I miss it!!!

Anonymous
| 12:12 PM

I shared a room with my twin sister until I was 19 years old and moved out. During our teenage years we even shared two rooms: a bed room and a living room/office kind of. It was okay. It was wonderful when we were small. The only reason I sometimes wish we hadn't shared rooms for such a long time is that it is difficult to be all alone now.

Leah
| 12:15 PM

I was the older sister, yet shy and unsure. I asked my parents to move my bed into her room when I was in grade school to be near her. Those were special times sharing a room (though I only had a bed in her room). We would chat and she was there for me. No sure when imoved out, could have stayed forever. Your story made me think of my sister and our closeness that is seperated not by the hallway but 2000 miles. She is linked to me forever and no one can take that away.

On somewhat of a different note, my 9 month old son still sleeps in his crib next to my bed. While everyone thinks he should be in his own room by now, there's something to be said for opening my eyes and he's right there, for peeking over at him as he sleeps, for just knowing he's next to me. I want to put off moving him down the hall for as long as I can. He'll feel a world away and one day he'll want to be in his own room with his own privacy. Until then...

I shared a room with my brother and sister when my brother was still in a crib - then my sister and I shared a room until I was 13 (she was 9). We actually did divide the room up - move dressers to the middle or put masking tape on the floor to indicate which space was whose - but it never lasted more than a day. They'll definitely treasure this shared room time; I think it's a great thing.

This is one of the most beatiful posts I've read in a while. My brother and I shared a room briefly when I was very young and then my sister and I shared a room for many years. At night, we'd often push our beds together so that we could sleep side by side.

I have been adament about my kids having their own rooms. So far I have been successful. When looking for our last house it seemed like my two girls would have to share. When we found a 4 bedroom house they were a little disappointed. As a kid I shared a room with my sister until 5th grade even though I could've moved to the room downstairs 2 years before.

As a mom my biggest conern is them waking each other up. Even in separate rooms they wake each other up if I forget to shut the door at night. I guess they get used to it.

Did you take the photos of the street signs? I love this idea. I don't have children yet, but when I do, I will be looking for streets with their names (to diy it) or someone who would take a similar photograph.

We planned to have the kids in separate rooms by now (she is 2 1/2, he is 4 1/2) but they choose to share the big bedroom, their two twin beds making a giant "L" in one corner. When I talk about them sleeping in their own spaces, they look at me wide-eyed. So one room remains a play room until they are ready. And part of me is more than glad they are not.

My brother and I shared a room until I turned 13 (he was 2 years younger). We were best friends all that time. I don't regret it at all. Sometimes I did want my own space, but it was great when I was scared to have him close by. Now that he is gone (passed away unexpectedly on Jan 25th) I am ever so glad we had all that time together!

My brother and I had to share a room for about a year when I was in 6th grade and he was in 1st grade.

We had separate rooms, but we moved and my parents were building out the basement to give us the rooms of our dreams...

Mine, sky blue carpet, yellow half wall of paneling and wallpaper in yellow, green, blue and pink that was the EXACT match to my bedspread from Sears.

But I did miss the little booger after that year together. :)

emily
| 1:56 PM

my parents didn't have a lot of money when my sister and I were kids, and they worked really hard to buy a small 3-bedroom when my little sister was born. but ironically as soon as she hit toddlerhood, we both wanted nothing but to share a room, and that went on for about 5 years. I think before they hit adolescence kids love to share space - they always have someone to talk to, conspire with, and feel safe next to.

My two brothers shared a room and with six and seven years between us, the pains of teenagehood vs. a place to keep tonka trunks left me in my own room. I loved my sanctuary, a place that was very much mine. Every now and then I'd let people into my habitat, allow my brothers to fondle c.d.s and draw on my face with lipstick. I enjoyed the mystery it added to my "big sisterdom". And when I went into their room, I enjoyed the sudden freeing of my inner-child. Making towers and knocking things over with plastic dinosaurs.

We had a hallway to separate us, and even now I still find myself wishing that those two scamps were just 20 feet away.

I was an only child, never needing to share a room until a friend of mine came to live with us in high school. I hated it. We both hated it. I found it to be a miracle I could live with my boyfriend, now husband.

So when our second came along I was also sad to know we couldn't afford to give each child their own space. However, it became very clear very quickly that it's a lot of fun for them and so far they are enjoying. They don't always (usually) go to sleep right away (hours) but listening to them giggle and talk to one another is priceless. Especially since I know it won't be long before they will be fighting and locking each other out of their own rooms.

Love this. Having 11 siblings, I didn't have access to my own room until I was 16, when everyone else was out of the house. My younger sister and I moved our spaces apart and that night going to bed, I cried myself to sleep.

Some of my bestest-memories-ever from childhood involve her, our room, and late night silliness.

beautiful post :) It really warmed my heart and hit home. My brother and I shared a room until we were 6 and 8, from the time I was born. My mom tells stories of how he climbed in the crib with me often...how we talked til we fell asleep or had sock wars (throwing balled up socks) when we were a little older...sharing a bunk bed that was our space ship to escape when mom was having...one of her bad days...and then when he was 8 the basement was converted to his bedroom, he hated it, he was scared, he cried himself to sleep down there for weeks, I upstairs, cried with him...begged my parents to let him back in "our room".

Having your kids share a room is the greatest thing a parent can do for them. I can't imagine having the relationship I have with my siblings if we hadn't had all those late nights giggling about boys or trying to see who could make the other laugh the hardest. Even the moments when we drew a line to divide the room and told each other not the cross it only brought us closer in the long run.

My older sister and I had (and have) such a great relationship, and it's because my parents did the same thing you are doing with yours. I applaud you, because growing up Fable and Archer will be each other's best friend. That doesn't go away with age!

Lovely room! My two year old son and one year old daughter share a room out of necessity, but even when we can move into a three bedroom, I think we'll keep them together (while they're still young) and use the extra room as a playroom, reading room, sewing room, etc. They laugh going to sleep at night and first thing in the morning, and I'm not inclined to end that anytime soon!

Beautiful post! My younger brother (by 2 years) and I shared a room for our earliest years and I have such fond memories of the bond we formed when telling each other stories as we fell asleep. We used to drive our parents crazy whispering to each other from across the room, or suffering from "church giggles" because we knew we weren't supposed to be awake, let alone giggling.

We also became a source of comfort for each other through some really, really rough times, climbing into the other's bed while our parents and teenage sister screamed and threw things at each other... and later when our father passed away, comfort was only a whisper away.

Don't worry too much about privacy yet. There's plenty of time for that. I hope that my two young sons will get the same joy from each other as my brother and I did when they get to share a room...

Lauren
| 4:00 PM

I felt the exact same way before having a child. Oh, how I wish I could regain the time I spent worrying about owning the perfect house and having all of the nicest things. I worried about timing and getting it just right so that my kids could grow up with everything they ever wanted.Then I got pregnant before my plan was intact (opps). Before we owned the house and had the college savings. Before I could line everything up and map out my future family's life just so. When my child came along I realized he didn't care let alone notice where he was sleeping. He didn't care what kind of car we drove or how much money we had in the bank. Kids don't need much of anything except for LOVE. If I had waited for that perfect moment my baby never would have come along and I wouldn't have learned the most valuable lesson that it's not about the things you have or the home you are in but about who's in that home with you.

Just as I was clicking on the comments link I saw the title to the last post and laughed loudly, again, at the comparison of your vagina to The Hurt Locker.

Back to the current post. I loved this. Some of my favorite memories are from sharing my room (notice, it was MY room) with my sisters, in turn. Different memories with each sister. One a snorer, one a perfectionist. One the younger admirer and the other the older one whom I admired. And yes, we always built dividers out of tape or jump ropes. And they always came down when we realized that someone couldn't get to the door or couldn't come to your side to listen to music with you.

I actually grew up sharing a bedroom with my brother the entire time. In high school my mom made a point to carve out and divide up so we'd each have our own personal space in the room. I will admit I always felt a little weird sharing a bedroom with my brother, but it definitely can be done.

Anonymous
| 8:07 PM

When is this movie going to come out? It looks really good! and how exciting that you were part of writing a movie that Rita from Dexter is in!

OMG, I love the end of the, “Bedroom” trailer where the little girl tells her brother, “I never want to grow up.” Awww. ;o( BIG CONGRATS your script and I can’t wait to see (your part of) the movie. I think it’s so awesome that you have made this accomplishment. It really is too cool.

Secondly, beautiful post as always. I LOVE Archer & Fable’s room together. I love Archer’s cowboy bedspread and that cool art print of a cowboy riding a seahorse. And Fable’s side of the room is just lovely with the ballerina painting and that red tutu. Ohmygoodness! That.red.tutu! You must take photos with her in it. ;o)

How sweet! When you check on them after they fall asleep your heart must almost burst into a million pieces!Some of my favorite memories from when I was a kid are times that I shared with my sister in our bedroom. Reading this post actually brought back a lot of them and made me smile.Thanks for sharing this - it's a beautiful post.

This was awesome. My little sister and I always shared a room, not always good, she would always steal my clothes! lol.

I have to know! Archer's bed sheets, my son is OBSESSED with horses and cowboys! He is 2 1/2 and I am tired of sharing a room with him. I'm getting his room ready to set up, and I think he would adore that set! Please let me know!!!

Your film project sounds like it would make a magical children's book. What a beautiful story!

Also, I shared a room with my sister, and even though we threw things at each other for many years (she grinds her teeth, I snore) my memories are mostly fond.

Anonymous
| 11:28 AM

I love that you mentioned the bathroom as your only sanctuary in the beginning. As a teen I spent so much time in the bathroom my mom thought I was bulimic (I wasn't). I have 7 brothers and sisters and that was the only quiet place in the house to read. I still read in the bathroom more often than anywhere else in the house. I am just more comfortable there.

My husband doesn't want to have another child because he couldn't imagine children sharing a room. Even though my son begs constantly to have sleepovers with his little sister.

I love this post and will be sharing it with him so he can get a better idea of what sharing actually means and does for children.

So sweet... My children do not share a room, but I imagine if they did I too would love it very much.

Allison
| 1:21 PM

I shared a room with my older brother (2 years older) for a few years starting from when I was about 4. I also shared with my younger sister (4 years younger) when we lived in a small townhouse when my parents were going through some financial difficulties. I don't have a single bad memory about sharing a room, and truly believe it's why we're all so close now. Don't you dare feel guilty. That room is adorable and you can just tell how much your kids are loved. I hope I can fill a room with love (and babies) someday too.

Dear Rebecca. I shared a room with a sibling until I was about 15. This is a result of living in a small house (though I don't think it was necessarily small but Australian standards) and being one of five kids. Anyhoo. When I finally got a room of my own, it was the size of a shoebox and I BLOODY LOVED IT. All those years of sharing were like a prolonged declaration of war on my brothers. I hope you guys get Fable a room before she's 15 ;)

Beautiful photos by the way - the kids' room looks way cooler with their belongings dovetailing and mixing than it would if it was just Fable and Archer, each solo.

My sister-in-law just sent my the link to your blog because I am due in one month and she thought I should read this. My husband and I just bought our first home: a two bedroom condo. Weeks after signing the papers we found out not only were we getting a new house but we were also having our second child. My husband panicked saying we needed another room, I just figured they would share the room (I must admit, my husband and I never had to share a room with our siblings..) Your story is so inspiring! Our 5 year old son will be sharing his room with his new little sister. Hopefully we will move onto something bigger and potentially better someday but for now I want to cherish the idea of y children sharing their room as well as their dreams together! Thanks for the story but you made me get all teary eyed :)

My younger sister and I shared a room from the day she was born (when I was 2 yrs 5 mo) until I went off to college even though my parents had a three bedroom house. To this day, I thank my parents for that experience.I learned so much about myself and about sharing and so much more. it was frustrating and it bugged me at times but as a 'grown up' I look back very fondly on that experience. And yes, there were nights that there was very little sleeping...

RYC: Wow, I didn't know that you were an artist as well! You did a great job on those for Archer & Fable. ;D

Elina
| 4:14 PM

Love thier room. They are very lucky to have parents like you and Hal <3

Anonymous
| 5:32 PM

Rebecca~

My boys share a room too. They just turnded 4 and 5 and have been together for a few years. The other day my 5 year old slept at my moms, and my 4 year old started bawling at bedtime wondering how he was going to sleep alone (he didn't, he slept with me).

I also have twin girls who just turned 6 months. I moved them to seperate cribs in the same room a few days ago. I would have kept them sleeping side by side, but Thea-Simone was scratching her sister.

With four kids, I don't invision anyone getting their own room, but I hope they appreciate their siblings more than the extra space they may have had without them.

Peace~Karen

PS I know Archer's name was inspired by the Prophet, which I see on the bookshelf, Kahlil was on my short list of boys names.

My brother and I shared a bedroom off and on throughout our childhood up until high school. I still remember the room being divided by duct tape: he didn't have access to the closet, and I had to jump to reach the door.

For now, we have the space for both our daughter and forthcoming son can have their own rooms. I, however, also recently lost my job, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Also, that is a fantastic looking room. We can definitely take some inspiration from that in our design.

The room and its contents are lovely, just like your beautiful offspring.

Part of the reason I wanted a second child was that after I fell so in love with my daughter I wanted her to have everything that could make her happy, and I thought the love of a sister or any sibling would make her life more complete.

When they share a laugh it makes my heart stop. I look forward to them sharing a room when infant becomes child and the crib is no longer needed.

I felt like it was important to have separate rooms, too, but it means small rooms. Well, we do with what we have, all of us.

But mostly I wanted to say how much I love the ballerina painting in Fable's room. Gorgeous! is that a Woolf signature I see in the corner, as well? I love putting art by people I know in my kids' rooms, too.

My mom painted the ballerina. I love it, too! All the paintings in our house were painted by women in my family and the kid's room is no exception! Well, sans for the cowboy on the seahorse print, which Archer chose at a local craft fair.

Im such a cry baby! This made me all emotional. Ive been thinking about having both my girls share a room. My youngest just turned one, and my oldest is three. They each have a room now, but I think that sharing a room would be good for them. But right now I think they would keep each other up talking! I think its great that your kids are doing well in the same room."His and her dreams overlapping in the space between beds. Where for the time being, there are no walls."I love this quote.And I love the photos of their names on street signs. I'm going to try to find that for my kids. Love it! The rooms look so awesome.

At one point in my life my parents had to move from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment, this meaning that my older brother and I had to share a room. We were both young, and missed the bothersome side of it, that looking back on, my parents were really anxious about. We LOVED sharing a room (ok, yes at times I stepped on his legos and he kicked my dolls), but we became best friends during that time. He is my best friend to this day, and I have no doubt that those days sharing a room left lasting impressions on us even as children.

Like you, I was raised never having shared a room with my younger sister or brother, and I really felt guilty that my two sons will have to share. We have a very large flat for Poland, but the extra room is used as our office, so there is no extra beroom for our second-born.

The boys don't share a room yet - as Alex still wakes up in the night and we don't want him disturbing Max- but as soon as he sleeps through to 6:00, they'll be together. I've been dreading it, but after reading this, I think it will be really lovely... your story was beautiful.

Thanks for helping me to alter my perspective.

Esther
| 3:48 AM

Reading all these posts about how people loved to share with their siblings makes me feel a bit guilty ... I shared a room with my younger brother until I was 12 and he was 10 and even though I love my brother, I distinctly did not love sharing a room with him.

I have always needed my personal space and up until I was 12, I had to lock myself in the toilet to have two minutes to myself. The room we shared was quite small, so most of the space was taken up by our two beds and two wardrobes. Our desks and toys were downstairs in a common space. I fantasized about getting my own room for years.

I don't think it bothered me when we were both relatively small but (when financially possible) I don't think I would make my children share until such an advanced age.

Love your post. That makes me think about sharing rooms, planning my second kid for next year. We have only two rooms in the house and your post show me that this is not a problem.You are my new idol and model, especially for your 5 minutes make over (I love fashion and make-up so much, and I love your style!). Love it!

I love this post. Perfectly punctuated by the cowboy on a seahorse picture on one side and ballerina on the other. LOVE.

~ humps

Anonymous
| 10:26 AM

i'm pregnant with my second and our kids are going to have to share a room. it's been so frightening to me, and i'm always a little embarassed when people ask about it, but after reading this i feel better. really better. lighter. hopeful. thank you.

Anonymous
| 2:54 PM

I had to share a room with a six-years-younger sister until I was almost 12. As someone who has always needed solitude more than I desire the company of others, I hated every second of it. I suspect I might have had more tolerance for my sister if I hadn't been forced to be basically on top of her every second for nearly 6 years.

That said, however, I suspect I am something of an exception, and if your kids are happy to be so close all the time, then that is a beautiful thing.

I, too, grew up in an area where kids had their own rooms, and the rare kids who had to share were always a 'curiosity' to the rest of us. I had never looked at kids sharing a room from this perspective...but now I'm kind of tempted to do that with future kiddos! However it works out, I'm not going to stress after reading this!!

I shared a room with my brother and sister when my brother was still in a crib - then my sister and I shared a room until I was 13 (she was 9). We actually did divide the room up - move dressers to the middle or put masking tape on the floor to indicate which space was whose - but it never lasted more than a day. They'll definitely treasure this shared room time; I think it's a great thing.