Happiness? Misery? Pain? Joy? Your Life Your Choice another email

I got this email that asked me how to stay “up” when your world is falling apart. Essentially this person is getting divorced and is close to 50. Her kids are going to college and she is scared. She needs to know how to reinvent herself.

She is well educated. Education does not always equate to income in this disruptive economy. She has what I call “fluff” degrees. Once upon a time that would get you a job, but not today.

She wanted to know how not to lose her mind during chaos. My answer is, you don’t. You will actually lose your mind. I think many people don’t understand the process of life. Everyone is going through something. Everyone. It could be something small. It could be something life-altering such as a death in the family, terminal illness; all kinds of stuff.

Everyone responds so differently to drama, trauma and devastation. I was not a person who was able to keep my wits about me in the middle of chaos. I actually fell very hard. It took me three years to get back to a sense of normalcy. So, my advice to you is what you’re going through is what you’re going through. You’re going to feel how you’re going to feel.

Now you can take this journey and you can do two things. You can be damned and condemned by it or you can use that energy and build yourself into a stronger person. Everyone isn’t strong.

When you have no core goals or direction, then when something happens you are devastated because there was no stabilizing force there in the first place. Even when you’re feeling fucked and betrayed, you still have a choice to be happy. It’s going to be really, really challenging for you to be happy right now. But, you can make it happen.

You should start a journal. Write down your thoughts every day. Then do this. The next day, you should read your thoughts from the previous day before writing your thoughts down. You’re going to discover that your thinking is not organized because right now you are a hot emotional mess.

There is a group of people who actually perform better under stress, but most people cave. Essentially, you have to learn to control your thought process. Right now, your thought process is controlling you. You are led by emotion. It can lead you into making bad decisions.

Start asking yourself, what can I bring to the world? One of the reasons I stay up now is because I have way more things I can bring to the world. As long as it is only about you and your family, you’re going to have a lot of misery. Your focus is in a very narrow context. It’s extremely narrow.

To get out of that type of rut, you’re going to have to think of someone other than yourself and your kids. You’ve got to have a higher purpose. That is what got me out of my bad spot. I had a higher purpose than myself. I am still working on that and it drives me.

It’s a choice. You have to make choices. You have to learn how to emotionally manage yourself. If something bad happens, you can’t fall apart. When something great happens, you can’t get a crackhead high. You’ve got to really manage yourself because that gives you the resilience you need in life. Shit is going to happen. People are going to come and go. People are going to die and disappoint you. People are going to betray you.

On the other side, people will come into your life that you don’t know and do outrageously good things for you. I know. People focus on the yard birds and the despicable people that come into your life and create disharmony. I concentrate on the people that come into my life and bring me joy.

When you can call yourself on your own bullshit and jacked up thinking, you become a very powerful person. This is where the journaling comes in. When you start seeing the truth about yourself, that’s when you start growing. You can start creating a life of intent and design.

A life of intent and design is one that you choose. You don’t wake up and just do shit you don’t want to do because it is expected of you. I have some issues with some family members because they expected me to do certain things I’m not doing. There were some hurt feelings there and I don’t give a fuck.

A lot of people can’t create the life they want, because they can’t get rid of that kid shit. Many people claim the reason you are the way you are is because of shit that happened to you when you were a kid. It is only true if you accept that as a truth. I decided I wasn’t going to be that person, blaming an absent father I did not know when I have the capacity to grow up and be a happy human being. That’s a choice.

Essentially, you have a lot of work to do on you. Journal today. Get a journal. Start today and write until your fingers hurt. Tomorrow get up and read that shit, then start writing on the second day and the third day. This process will help you cleanse a lot of the emotional discord.

Another suggestion for you is to learn how to meditate. Go take a class. Check out transcendental meditation. You should write, journal and meditate. Set some ambitious goals for yourself.

Understand that happiness is a choice. Sanity is a choice. Peace is a choice. These are things that can be developed over time.

You cannot have the life that you want if you remain the same person that you are. You will have to change as a person. If your life is fucked up. Guess who needs to do a metamorphosis? You.

If you like this, be sure to get on my email list for updates to live streams and special offers. Subscribe today!