All posts tagged ‘middle-earth’

So today is Earth Day, and that’s a fine and wonderful thing. But we are geeks, so we don’t need much of an excuse to take the celebration of a holiday to an extreme. We do this for the same reason we invent our own holidays, like Star Wars Day and Towel Day (both coming up next month!): we love few things more than our inside jokes.

We’ve already covered the serious side of Earth Day, so now we invoke the spirit of geekitude and take it to an extreme. So, then, how should Middle-earth Day be celebrated by its residents? We have nine (like The Nine rings of men) humble suggestions …

9. Install a solar water heater atop your Hobbit hole.

8. Switch to the Thrush Communications Network. Tired of messages taking days or weeks to be delivered? Trust a thrush to quickly deliver your important dragon-slaying tips to all those who need to know. It saves the resources a journey by foot or steed would consume, and the thrushes are glad to help.

7. Learn the ways of the elves. You think it’s tough providing for your family for a few decades? Try 10,000 years sometime. Imagine how good they must be at conservation!

6. Reuse Shelob’s silk to make clothing. I mean, there has to be a ton of the stuff in the cave she used to inhabit, and all her offspring disappeared. Waste not, want not, right?

5. Save torches: Bring Sting and an orc with you. Really, any weapon forged in Gondolin will do if Sting isn’t available. Note: GeekDad will not be held responsible for your failure to restrain the orc adequately.

4. In order to avoid taxing Middle-earth’s resources, never open your door to a wizard. Especially if you’re a Baggins — it will only lead you to trouble.

3. Bring gifts to Fangorn forest. The Ents may not be good at showing their appreciation, but that’s just a facade. Reminder: Candles and maple syrup are inappropriate gifts.

2. Be sure to dispose of Rings of Power in the proper receptacle. They are not — we repeat, not — recyclable.

1. Remember Bard the Bowman’s Tip: You can eliminate the Smaug over your town if you have the right information (see #8).

No one is suggesting that basketball should replace the palantír as Middle-Earth’s roundball sport of choice. Rather, the goal is to settle, once and for all, which J.R.R. Tolkien character is most beloved by the fans. TheOneRing.net has chosen 32 characters and split them into four divisions: The Rankin/Bass Division, The Ralph Bakshi Division, The Tolkien Family Division, and The Peter Jackson Division.

Now, they’ve just released their tournament bracket (see below) with seeding based on a first round of voting. Among the many round-one match-ups in their divisions, it’s (3) Arwen vs. (6) Smaug; (4) Gollum vs. (5) Treebeard; and (1) Glorfindel vs. (8) Morgoth. (“Morgoth… who’s that,” you ask? Time to break out your Middle-earth encyclopedias.)

Atlantis, that mysterious and disappeared island that Plato wrote about (Image: Wikipedia)

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) makes cool maps that show what the bottom of the ocean looks like. Some years ago, the data they collected got integrated into the data used by Google Earth (everyone’s favorite geographical information program). It was only a matter of time — 2009, to be precise — until some crafty and/or delusional folks looked deeply into Google Ocean (part of Google Earth program) and studied these seafloor maps. And they spied something that got them excited.

In an area of the Atlantic Ocean northwest of the Canary Islands, they saw regular lines and grids. NOAA called them “grid-like artifacts.” But these other folks — not scientists and data-crunchers, but lovers and dreamers — called them “underwater streets.” Signs of civilization. A sunken city.

The end of the new Star Wars Volkswagen ad, set in our beloved cantina. Nooooo!

I was excited as the next Star Wars fan to get a sneak peek this week of the new “The Dog Strikes Back” Volkswagen ad that’s set to debut at the Super Bowl. Like the big hit of last year, “The Force,” a clever ad that featured a Darth Vader-dressed kid frustrated when his Dark Side powers don’t work (until Dad makes his day by starting up the family’s VW Passat with his remote), I was thrilled to see how my beloved Star Wars franchise might be subtly referenced this year.

So when I watched till the end of 2012′s entry (and yes, you have to watch till the end), to the moment where the pumped-up-dog-chasing-the-car commercial suddenly cuts to a replica Mos Eisley cantina from Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope, I chuckled to myself at the whole world-warping, reality-fantasy meta-joke Madison Avenue is playing on us. “Oh, those funny ad folks,” I thought to myself. “Oh, that George Lucas (or, minions of George Lucas).” I felt that surge of geeky glee that only a fan can feel when all of his or her buttons are being pushed, tweaked and twiddled.

“Well done.”

But then I thought, “No. Wait a minute. This is horrible.”

George Lucas, I didn’t think you could sell out any further. But you did. For while a mash-up can be fun, playful and ironic, the idea of erecting billboards inside our cinematic fantasies goes too far. Get your stinking paws off my memories, you damned dirty Mad Men!

Exactly one year — 366 days in this case — from today will come our first opportunity since 2003 to return to Middle-earth in a new movie. It won’t be easy to wait, but we can feel secure in the knowledge that what we get will almost certainly have been worth waiting for.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the first of Peter Jackson’s two-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic fantasy novel, is scheduled to make its appearance in movie theaters on December 14, 2012. To say that this will be one of the most eagerly anticipated movies of all time almost seems an understatement: There must surely be plenty of geeks out there who, if they could come up with a way to make it work, would very likely set up camp outside their local movie theater now.

For my part, I’m even looking forward to seeing the movie (and part two, which is scheduled for release on December 13, 2013) in 3D, because I’m confident that if any director can be trusted to make 3D really add something to a film, Peter Jackson can. Anyone who can take the most sacred trilogy in geek fiction and turn them into movies that both satisfy most of the trilogy’s devotees and appeal to people who know nothing about the books gets the benefit of the doubt from me on pretty much every decision he makes about the Hobbit films.

Still, just to prevent ourselves from getting too emotionally invested in a movie we still have to wait a year to see, we should probably recall the last time we geeks had anything like this level of anticipation for a prequel to an iconic film trilogy. We didn’t see that one coming, either.

(Yes, I of course know that the book The Hobbit was written first and was thus not a prequel. With the movies being made out of sequence, it’s still the right word for the Hobbit films.)

Image copyright by New Line Cinema, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Warner Bros., and other respective production studios and distributors.

Earlier this week Warner Home Video and Best Buy co-sponsored Middle-earth Midnight Madness in Los Angeles, a countdown to the release of the new Blu-ray version of The Lord of the Rings The Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition. Featuring cosplay, fireworks, lasers and special guests John “Denethor” Noble and Sala “Sauron” Baker, it was a big event for a big release. Not only does this new Blu-ray iteration stretch over 15 discs, but the winner of the night’s costume contest received a very special prize, a VIP “Tour of Middle-earth” that includes an all-expense-paid trip to New Zealand courtesy of Air New Zealand and Weta Workshop.

Check out the video embed below for a look back at Middle-earth Midnight Madness, and look for The Lord of the Rings The Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition on Blu-ray at your retailer of choice. A full review of the product is forthcoming, but with six discs of the films themselves and nine more packed with bonus content it could, y’know, take a while.

Check out this amazing interactive map of Tolkien’s Middle-earth, programmed by Kris Kowal. It’s like Google Maps for the Third Age of Arda; zoom, pan and even search (in English, Sindarin, Westron, et al.) for locations. The labels are in English or Sindarin (with the Tengwar alphabet, of course).

The map is an ongoing project and Kowal welcomes anyone to join in its creation. All materials, including code and high-resolution graphics, are licensed under Creative Commons.

So today is Earth Day, and that’s a fine and wonderful thing. But we are geeks, so we don’t need much of an excuse to take the celebration of a holiday to an extreme. We do this for the same reason we invent our own holidays, like Star Wars Day and Towel Day (both coming up next month!): we love few things more than our inside jokes.

We’ve already covered the serious side of Earth Day today, so now we invoke the spirit of geekitude and take it to an extreme. So, then, how should Middle-Earth Day be celebrated by its residents? We have nine (like The Nine rings of men) humble suggestions …

9. Install a solar water heater atop your Hobbit hole.

8. Switch to the Thrush Communications Network. Tired of messages taking days or weeks to be delivered? Trust a thrush to quickly deliver your important dragon-slaying tips to all those who need to know. It saves the resources a journey by foot or steed would consume, and the thrushes are glad to help.

7. Learn the ways of the elves. You think it’s tough providing for your family for a few decades? Try 10,000 years sometime. Imagine how good they must be at conservation!

6. Reuse Shelob’s silk to make clothing. I mean, there has to be a ton of the stuff in the cave she used to inhabit, and all her offspring disappeared. Waste not, want not, right?

5. Save torches: Bring Sting and an orc with you. Really, any weapon forged in Gondolin will do if Sting isn’t available. Note: GeekDad will not be held responsible for your failure to restrain the orc adequately.

4. In order to avoid taxing Middle-Earth’s resources, never open your door to a wizard. Especially if you’re a Baggins — it will only lead you to trouble.

3. Bring gifts to Fangorn forest. The Ents may not be good at showing their appreciation, but that’s just a facade. Reminder: Candles and maple syrup are inappropriate gifts.

2. Be sure to dispose of Rings of Power in the proper receptacle. They are not — we repeat, not — recyclable.

1. Remember Bard the Bowman’s Tip: You can eliminate the Smaug over your town if you have the right information (see #8).