What the hell, Texas?

Today is “Go Texan Day” in Houston, which means everyone dresses up in cowboy attire. It was called “Rodeo Day” in West Texas where I grew up. I think it’s called “Boxing Day” everywhere else. I could be wrong. That’s not the point. The point is that this morning Hailey got dressed up for school and she decided to be a single mother on the prairie who was protecting her young children and she looked adorable but when she got to kindergarten THEY TOOK HER GUN AWAY. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “What the hell is wrong with this school that they would leave a lonely prairie widow unprotected?” EXACTLY. It’s a bit misogynistic. I mean, this is Texas for God’s sakes. If you can’t bring a gun to kindergarten in Texas then the rest of the country is screwed.

And, yes, I actually am being a little sarcastic about this because I do realize guns at school are bad but when I was a kid I took a real gun to school during “Rodeo Day” and no one even blinked. It was an old Winchester and probably couldn’t have fired even if it was loaded but it doesn’t change the fact that my 4th grade teacher was all “What a cute rifle!” And it was. It was a totally cute rifle. And these are the moments that Hailey will never be able to appreciate. It makes me a little sad for America.

me ~ age 9:

Hailey today (moments before being disarmed):

Disclaimer in case this is your first time here: This doesn’t *really* make me sad for America. This post is totally tongue-in-cheek. Except for the part where I said that widowed prairie women should totally not be disarmed. I fully defend that part. Widowed prairie women need your support, not your damn judgement.