Illustrations

Farewell to my favorite James Bond

May 20, 2016

My uncle gave me the bad news over Easter dinner. He reported Daniel Craig as saying he would rather chew his own arm off than play James Bond in another movie (technically, he said he’d rather break a glass and slash his wrists, but you get the idea). I tried to hold it together and play it cool. But the dismay was genuine and my gasp was audible.

Ty has volunteered to do the next four movies for $68 million, so just contact me when the script is ready and I’ll pass it on.

Ty and I had a lengthy chat last night (considering the topic) and we decided that Daniel Craig is the best James Bond since Sean Connery. Pierce Brosnan looks the most like what we think he should look like, but his portrayal was a little too soft. I like how Daniel gave James an edge, a dark side…a smolder.

Yes, we’ve also had lengthy chats over whether Daniel Craig is actually attractive or if it’s just the persona or aura he gives off. Apparently, I keep changing my mind. I mean, if I were to think of the definition of “handsome” this is probably not the face that would pop into my mind.

On the other hand, I’d probably grab a drink with this guy were I an unmarried woman.

But I am a married woman and this is by far the most attractive man in the world.

Speaking of Ty, we’ve decided that he could have made a very good living as a spy. He is racially ambiguous and apparently he has burned off his fingerprints by cooking. Seriously, he had to go give a thumbprint for his new job and it took 45 minutes because they couldn’t get a print!!

Except he’s too good-looking. People remember him. Which leads me to our only criticism of Daniel Craig as James Bond. I mean, he’s a spy, right? Well, would you easily forget that smolder or those piercing blue eyes?

I think not.

I also can’t blame Daniel for wanting to move on. He’s played the same character for four films and made £38 million in the process. He’s not a starving artist. Except for maybe lines. I noticed there wasn’t a lot of dialogue in Spectre so I can’t blame him if he’s looking for something a little more artistically challenging.

Well, farewell Daniel and good luck James Bond #14. Mr. Craig set the bar pretty high.