The International Olympic Committee has rejected an Israeli call for a minute's silence at the London Games to mark the 40th anniversary of the Munich terrorist attack in which 11 Israeli athletes were killed.

A letter from the committee's president, Jacques Rogge, on Monday ignored a specific request for a minute's silence, saying only that he would attend a commemoration of the 1972 attack at London's Guildhall and that the IOC would be represented at any event organised by Israel.

"The IOC has officially paid tribute to the memory of the athletes on several occasions," Rogge wrote. He said that "within the Olympic family, the memory of the victims of the terrible massacre in Munich in 1972 will never fade away".

The request, in support of a campaign by two widows of victims of the Munich attack, was sent last month by the Israeli deputy foreign minister, Danny Ayalon. A minute's silence, he wrote, would "send a clear message that we must not forget the terrible events of Munich 40 years ago so they will not be repeated".

The IOC's response was "a polite but very clear rejection", said Yigal Palmor, a spokesman for the Israeli foreign ministry.

"It's a shame. The IOC is treating this as an internal Israeli matter but [the Munich massacre] is of concern to the whole Olympic family, it was an onslaught on the whole Olympic ideal.

"But perhaps [the IOC] thinks anything to do with Israel is controversial. It is not a display of great courage and integrity."

A spokesman for the IOC said it had worked closely with the Israeli National Olympic Committee on a ceremony at London's Guildhall that was "the most appropriate" way of commemorating the Munich attack. An event to mark the massacre was held at every games, he added.

The Munich attack began in the early hours of 5 September 1972, when eight members of the Palestinian military organisation Black September infiltrated the Olympic village, and took 11 members of the Israeli team hostage. The attackers demanded the release of 234 Palestinian prisoners in return for the hostages' release.

By just after midnight, all 11 athletes, five attackers and a German police officer were dead. Although the hostage drama gripped television viewers across the world, the Games were suspended only for a few hours at the height of the crisis and resumed the next morning.

Among the dead was fencing coach Andre Spitzer, whose widow Ankie has campaigned for almost 40 years for a minute's silence at the opening of each Olympic Games to commemorate the massacre. "For me the fight is not over until the opening ceremony," she told the Guardian after hearing of the IOC's rejection. "The IOC has said no for the last 40 years but I'm still hopeful they will change their minds."

In a campaign video to launch a petition last month, she appealed for "a minute of silence for these men who went to the Munich Olympics in peace, friendship and sportsmanship, and who lost their lives … One minute for the Munich 11 victims, to show the world that the doctrine of the Olympic spirit, to build a peaceful and better world … is much more powerful than politics."

A commemorative ceremony organised by the Israeli National Olympic Committee will be held at the London Games as it has in previous years.