Sue Mann

Curious mind. Brave heart. Whole body. Playful spirit.

There I was, the dream job.

​And then there I was, totally demoralized by my boss. Questioning everything about myself, my confidence shattered, feeling like a total failure.

I was lost. And I didn't know what I was going to do to "fix" this.

Used with permission.
Copyright Chris Hallbeck

I grew up in the most violent country in the world outside of a war zone – apartheid South Africa. But that’s not what took me down. A bully did. Rebuilding myself has been the most profoundly joyous experience of my life. And now my mission is to share that joy with others.

Here’s what happened.

A year after I started my dream job I was called in for two and half hours of unrelenting, incredibly harsh feedback by a senior male manager. Actually, it wasn't feedback or even "constructive criticism": it was full-on shaming and humiliation.

And because of it, I fell apart. Quite literally. I cried every day for weeks. I crawled into a small dark hole of misery and barely moved off the couch – on which I was either crying, sleeping, or numbing myself on mindless TV.

I was terrified about coming out of my hole. I worked with an amazing team. The journey wasn’t easy. But it was transformative. ​These days I spend most of my day happily being me – rather than “doing me” and constantly wondering if what I am doing is good enough. The positive difference this makes in my energy, my outlook, my confidence, my relationships, my parenting, my productivity, my sleep and my health is immense.

The most important lesson I learned through all of this, and which is why I coach, is that we can all overcome shame and rise from devastating setbacks. And it’s not through will-power. It’s through compassion, community, truly coming to understand our values and our strengths, and learning and practicing the real, practical skills of resilience.

​And that is my promise to you: yes, you can be you. Yes, that you can stand brave, strong, and confident. And yes, you need never fear bosses or colleagues again.

In the words of one my great inspirations, Brené Brown:​we can all "Rise Strong" and "Dare Greatly".

Why I coach

I'm done with this unspoken rule that we never really speak about the hard stuff about being a professional. The self-doubt. The passive-aggressive colleagues and bosses. The toxic work environments. The setbacks, failures, and soul-crushing disappointments. The performance reviews that leave us dispirited and wondering what we're supposed to do. The nagging sense that we're not good enough.

​Oh sure, we vent about it - but usually in a way that hides how truly it is messing with our heads, our hearts, our lives. This stuff is real, and hard and no-one should have to figure this out on their own.

For me, overcoming the experience of a toxic work environment and an abusive boss has been profound and transformative. And now my whole mission is to help others get to the same space: ​I want every professional who has ever felt cowed, small, demoralized or questioning their worth to stand proud, head tall, brave and confident, ready to bring their amazing, creative, best self to work every day.

I hold an MBA and Master of Management in Hospitality (MMH) from Cornell University. ​

Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place. Rumi