And.. dun dun dun… i was comparing them against each other. Which was hotter than, more doable, better looking etc..

All being done in milliseconds of thought with just hovering glances.

It’s what i do. It’s what the male brain does. I don’t question it, i revel in it. I feel no shame, i was born to do this. It just took me a long time to accept it as who i am rather than twist and contort myself into believing feminist bullshit of constructs and worth.

As i caught myself checking out a really gorgeous woman standing next to a not so well-off member of her sisterhood – a voice in my head from an age past jumped into my head. The sound of a feminist woman telling me

“Oh, so we’re only as valuable to you as we are attractive. Nothing else about us is redeemable or contains value. Our worth is entirely dependent on how hot we look to *YOU* men!”

Or some shit to that effect.

I realized right there in that line, was the voice of feminist thought that was once spoken by me, long before i crossed the Rubicon into the world of redpill.

So you’re with a great guy, and one day the ‘number’ talk comes up. He tells you he’s been with N. His N is vastly lower than your N. By a catastrophic margin. Knowing this new information, why are you so interested into hanging onto someone who hasn’t had the vast amount of sexual experience you got? Why are you so afraid to tell him your real number?

Why are you so afraid of losing someone over a number?

Why would you want to hang on to such an insecure loser?

What is the purpose of lying to maintain such an inadequate and unequal relationship?

You should be with someone as EQUALLY and sexually educated as you.

That is why you slutted around right? To ‘find’ out who you were? To ‘discover’ what turned you on? To ‘learn’ about your sexual tastes from a wide assortment of partners? Simply to have fun?

So when you find out your partner didn’t get to experience the same life of sexual gluttony you did.. why do you suddenly feel so ashamed of your past?

This picture pisses me off. Ever since i saw it at Dalrock’s, it always enrages me as much as when a cue jumping jackass cuts me off in traffic.

You DON”T DESERVETHAT relationship. You deserve a relationship with someone else. Who is that someone else? Whomever accepts you real N, that’s who.

You are lying your ass off to keep it because you know you aren’t worth it. You are lying to your partner because you know he could do better, deserves better. You are simply using him. You don’t love him. How could you? You can’t even tell him the truth! You’re too scared to lose him. You should be proud, and let the ‘loser’ walk if he finds your number too high. You should find someone who’s not ‘afraid’ of your number.

Love has nothing to do with it now. Love had nothing to do with it when you were being a slut. Love does not enter the equation.

If he means that much to you, and all the slutting you did back then ‘didn’t matter‘, that it was ‘just sex‘ as you say.. why not help your low partner count man that you are so desperate to hang onto by lying to him about your number, instead help him out and wingman him into the pussies of X number of women, where X is the remainder of you N minus his N to equal out the equation and restore balance.

After all, it’s just sex right? It doesn’t mean anything right? So help your current man reach the number you attained so there won’t be any of those inadaquate feelings fostered or any lingering insecurities to put a damper on things.

How could you possibly object to that? Don’t let ‘feelings’ get in the way. He’ll still love you even after he’s had wild sex with throngs of women. He might even get a shit ton more confident and alpha to boot. Win win ammiright?

As an aside.. what if my relationship history is that of a serial cheater and philanderer. I’m disease free, but my chances of remaining monogamous are virtually nil. Do you have a right to know that? Do you have a right to know, before we start up a relationship that may become serious or long term, that of the past 30 relationships i had, i cheated on every one of them? Wouldn’t you like to know? Is it any of your fucking business? So long as in the hear and now i’m professing to love you and that’s all that matters, why should you know the truth of my past, or if you did know, why would it matter?

And once you do know, would you be so insecure in your abilities as a woman as to think that you didn’t have what it took to keep me from straying?

I’m assuming i have a female audience. I may be delusional. Help me out at the end and answer my poll.

..

Have a man in your orbit who wont take the hint? Have a puppy dog humping your leg and you just can’t shoo him away because you like it’s company? You wanna let a guy down who’s obviously attracted to you but is not attractive? Just don’t know what to say?

TELL HIM WHAT HE’S DOING WRONG! NOW!

Be downright brutal if you have to.

Tell him the true nature of what women want. Tell him he’s been lied to. He’ll protest. He’ll say his mom, his teachers, other girls, all tell him it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

TELL HIM IT’S NOT ENOUGH!

He may very well be absolutely awesome on the inside.. but that’s not the issue now is it! It’s that he’s not attractive. You shouldn’t tell him that what’s on the inside doesn’t matter.. of course it does! This is what separates a decent human being from sociopaths. Simply telling him what’s on the inside doesn’t matter is a sure fire way to send him down the dark path.. as Vader did.. and he will become an agent of evil. A supplicating niceguy.

But you have to make it clear that it is not enough simply to be good on the inside. Being nice to your mom and helping ladies across the street are good traits, but they ain’t fucking attractive in getting the lower lips moist, if ya know what imma sayin. And being good at D&D and knowing how to speak Klingon in the original tongue are admirable to be sure, but the pool of women who’d be willing to cook you a plate of G’agh and serve it to you in a maid’s outfit is severely limited. And let’s not forget that being pasty white and seeing your bones sticking through your skin don’t exactly scream ‘primal savage’.

So be fucking brutally honest OK? Promise me. Do it smart, point out the flaws that need fixing, and explain why if necessary. A majority of guys will absorb it and mull it over if done in a logical fashion rather than a plea to his emotions which are already all over the map at this point. Logic shall ground them, hit them with some fucking redpill!

Guys learn through failure when they are presented with a cause to overcome.

Guys learn by doing, but they require immediate feedback, cause and effect to know what’s working and what isn’t. Many women refuse to let the ’cause’ be known, so all the guy see’s is ‘effect’ of not being chosen, thus attributing it to “girls dont like nice.. so ill be a dick”.

Ever heard about a woman who picks up after, cleans and does the laundry of her special guy?

Ever read dating and advice columns about women asking what more they can do to get their significant other to un-equivocally commit to them?

Ever had to listen to some vapid chick cry about how hard she tries to please her man sexually, giving him every request he wants without getting her needs fulfilled, faking her orgasms or just getting the wham bam jackhammer thank you m’aam treatment.. and then asking why he’s still so distant?

Ever hear a woman weep after being berated, humiliated, shoved, abused by her man.. and defend her man saying he’s really not like that, he’s a good person, just give him time?

Ever hear all of this from a woman who simply felt an expectation that doing these things were part of building a relationship towards the goal of commitment?

Ever hear a woman call a man a commitment-phoebe?

Ever hear all of these women pour forth a river of tears , shrieking in agony and cursing to the heavens about how they did everything to keep the relationship going, how awful these horrible men were for not pouring in the same amount of effort, how he’s a creep, a loser, immature, peter pan, man boy child, not ready for a serious relationship and how he wouldn’t man up to take the relationship to the “next level“?

The vitriol that bursts forth from their lips when cold, harsh reality sinks in as her mind awakens to the fact that all her efforts were for naught, all the while receiving cold comfort and validation from a security blanket of female friends, a gaggle of hens who curse the stupid awful mean man who simply refused to appreciate her epic awesomeness to perform his duty to the imperative and commit to her.

We see it all the time but never call it out for what it is because we live in a world that gives primacy and validation for the female preferred method of both promiscuity and attaining commitment.

Quick story from my past. The year is 2001. I’m in two concurrent friendzones, the two that would define my adolescence. Let’s call the first one J and the second one S. Well, in 2001 S was in a relationship, but J had just suddenly become single.

Being the beta that i was, and stupidly trying to win her heart by showing love, caring, support, emotional availability, time, etc instead of commiting myself to working on myself and making her want to ‘earn’ my love and qualify to me.. well you can see how this song sort of became my anthem for the first half of the new decade. It helped delude me even further that it was MY job as a man to prove my love to her through actions. I embraced this song.

I introduced J to this song, and the album (as i had become familiar with Napster at the time) and began to download tons of songs for her because that’s what NiceGuys like me did. This song became associated with her and I. Everyone with half a functioning brain cell could see the pain and frustration of my situation oozing out of me.

Even her.

Eventually, years later, on the eve of my engagement to S (whom i eventually broke the friend zone successfully with) J would admit she knew. Not enumerated, just her saying that she was sorry for what she did to me, thus acknowledging she knew she was pulling my heart strings six ways from Sunday.

Since i was getting engaged to my beloved, there was no anger upon hearing that admission. More closure than anything else.

Fast forward a few months and me and S are now purchasing dancing lessons for ‘the big day’ since i couldn’t dance to save my life. Our dance instructor was teaching us the four basic dance types and tempos to each. She said we would have to settle on 2 quickly and choose up to 4 songs to practice with until we finally knew which we would go with. So we had to start brainstorming.

First we thought about the group that unintentionally became a symbol of the trauma we were both enduring just before getting together. Three Days Grace and their album OneX and specifically the song Over and Over, symbolizing how often we spun in circles before we finally found each other as soul-mates (feel free to puke, remember, i was still total blue pill despite having Alpha’s up in other areas)

But none of those songs felt like something that should be played at a wedding celebration. So i figured why not use a song whose lyrics symbolize everything i’m feeling about her right now. I generously offer up the song “Hanging by a Moment” by Lifehouse thinking i just hit the jackpot. To be sure, i was caught a bit off guard by the reaction.

OH FUCKING HELL NO!

I iz perplexed…

But why honey?

That was J’s song. I remember you were playing that constantly around her. I remember how you always talked to me about her (imagine.. me asking another woman for advise.. and getting nowhere might i add). That was your song for her when you loved her. No way that song is going to be used for a celebration of ***OUR*** love!

We eventually settled on Nickleback.. and that may have been what actually doomed us, but i digress.

I want you to understand this very clearly. That song about true pure love… was no longer special enough to my wife because i had shared it with and connected it to my feelings for another woman.

..

..

Can anyone tell me the true relevance of this story and why i brought it up? Scroll way down for my answer..

At it’s core lies this problem. She’s worried about spherian mentality about “The Wall” and “The Number” and natural consequences of actions. Part of my latent beta wants to don the suit of plate mail, climb the white horse and protect her as my conditioning under the the rules of GirlWorld commands me to. And another part of me, that itchy burning area of my rectum where the RedPill currently resides is telling me fuck it.. actions have consequences, take it like a man. Derrrrp.

This is a case of going before the judge and pleading that you didn’t know that pissing into the town square water fountain was a crime because there were no warning signs posted.. to which the judge harrumphs “IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE” and slams the gavel down and chucks a hefty leather-bound book at you.

She has/had the same problem i did some 18 years ago… it’s called Naivete.

na·ive

b: not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental situation <made the test with naive rats>;

Is it harsh to be judged and convicted for things done when you were simply following what you thought was the properly laid out doctrine to follow? Yes, yes it is. Especially if the rules you followed were crafted by a society that began an experiment to see if human behavior was indeed a social construct through conditioning and behavioral modification instead of something deeper and more innate… primal. And if it were the latter that was found to be the truth, could leeway be given to avoid the consequences of those actions done under sincere misguidance?

It’s something i wrestle with, because as a decent guy and human being, i wouldn’t want to see what i feel is an obvious good but naive kid who simply followed the path that was allowed for by this current society (a society i do wish to see at the bottom of Davey Jones locker btw) having to accept the consequences and punishment of our now evolved and well informed spherian understanding of a woman’s N and the cruelty of The Wall.

Yet one need only read this (which you probably already have) to realize that i myself, and untold countless millions of others have indeed already paid the loftiest price for being naive. The judges are still at it to this very day with the public trials of NiceGuys™ in the street, listening to the mobs yelling for the Jezebel executioner to throw the level and pull the floor out from under the condemned for their naive nature.

Is it fair that one side is made to suffer full consequences while the other gets a reprieve solely due to gender and timing?

[This has been in my drafts since i first started this blog after i walked away from my broken friendzone and attempted FWB tried to shove me back in the box. I’m clearing out my drafts. Flows in with the current NiceGuys theme. Just another part of my GrowingUpBeta series.]

This is directed towards the females. (Pass this ethical thought exercise on to any women you know as well)

20 yrs ago

You see an ad for a job position at ZoneBuddy Inc. that you really like. YOU apply for a job. You go to the interview, meet the employer and at the end of the day he tells you that you are not good enough for the VP role, but you can have the desk job in customer service.

You take it because you really like the CEO, you would love to be part of this company and make it succeed, you’re fresh out of school and haven’t been able to find any jobs offers, no employers have been showing interest, and you have no job at the moment because you have no skill set or real practical job experience. So for the next 2 decades you work hard during those years, trying to prove your worth. You work longer hours, make sacrifices, increase your workload, pull double duty, learn, grow and educate yourself on every aspect of your job and what makes it tick, how to perform it efficiently and expertly, knowing all the ins and outs, hoping your employer will take you for the VP position once you demonstrate marked proficiency with the role.

And over the course of time, your pay does not increase. You are still making minimum wage. The employer is happy! You are being super productive, and getting a lot of things done. Your employer tells you that you are appreciated and such an awesome worker, and laments that he would like to find someone just like you for the higher paying VP role and that he just can’t find anyone to take that position. You stand there perplexed at the statement.

Over the course of those years, you see your employer throwing large sacks of cash at the homeless woman across the street from your office. You ask your boss whether he was drunk or feeling overly charitable to be throwing away such large amounts of money on the homeless bag lady. Maybe she had done something really special for the company? Saved him from getting run over by a bus or something? He laughs and say ‘No, i just did it for fun, she doesn’t really mean anything to the company.’