Originally published in the story collection College Dive Bar, 1 AM (Go Deeper Press)

College Dive Bar, 1 AMby Natty Soltesz

Hey, man—how’s it hangin? Yeah, you can sit next to me.

That paper for communications class? No, I didn’t do it yet. My girlfriend’ll probably do it for me. Yeah, she’s smart as hell—helps me out all the time. Long as I’m givin’ it to her! You know what I’m talking about.

No, she’s out of town, visiting her parents. So, yeah—no pussy for a couple days. What’re you gonna do.

Look at this place. I came here to pick up chicks, but it’s a fucking sausage fest. There was this chick earlier I was talking to—she’s actually in our class. Big tits, kinda obnoxious voice, sits in the back with that other chick…yeah, that’s the one. Whatever. She was looking pretty tore down. Yeah, I woulda hit it anyway, but oh well. Probably for the best.

Anyway.

Hey, Lyddie, can I get two more shots, please? Southern Comfort. Thanks.

Yeah, it’s no big deal. I’ll probably head home after this and pork my roommate.

You know him, right? Dean? Dude, don’t look so shocked. Yeah, I fuck him. It’s a pretty sweet deal I got going on, actually. Just slide my cock right up his ass and go to town. He’s tight as hell.

Hell no, I’m not gay. Is he gay? I don’t know…maybe. But he’s got a girlfriend and everything so….

Yeah, dude, he loves it. In fact, I know he’s fucking waiting for me right now. He’ll probably have his ass in the air by the time I get home, all fuckin’ lubed up and ready to roll. I just ram it up in him and go to town. He digs it, man, fuckin’ comes all over the place before I even finish. Lets me jizz right inside him, too. Not like he can get pregnant or anything, right?

How long has it been going on? Geez, I dunno—maybe a couple years? Since we were roomies in the dorms down the hall from you, I guess.

It just sorta happened one night when we were drunk. We were at the bar—in fact, I’m pretty sure it was here. Yeah, ‘cause Lyddie used to get us in even though we were underage.

We were talking, and it was pretty late, and we weren’t getting any play. You know, typical freshmen with absolutely no game.

Dean started talking about how we should just go back to our room and jack off. He had a new porno or something.

“I’m fuckin’ tired of jacking off,” I said, and Dean was like, “We can slip on some rubbers and fuck the mattress.” Honest to god. I was laughing, but he was totally serious.

“It’s better than using your hand ‘cause you can hump the shit out of it. Just stick a bunch of hand cream in the rubber and stuff your cock between two mattresses.” I was dying by this point. Dean’s a fucking whack job. He’s always coming up with crazy shit.

So, I’m like, “Sure, let’s do it. I don’t got anything else going on.” We go back to our room—we stopped at the 7-Eleven on the way and got some rubbers and KY—and we’re all hard and horned up. Then he did the same for me and he started rubbing it in, and I was like, “Dude, just keep doing that and we’ll be fine.” But he was like, “Fuck no, I’m not jacking you off,” which—well…whatever. It just isn’t his thing.

So we lubed up our cocks and slid on a couple of rubbers and stacked our mattresses on top of each other. We’re fucking naked and hard, and we knelt down side by side on the floor and stuck our dicks between these mattresses. And I was laughing, but at the same time, it was actually kinda hot. The rubber kept our cocks from getting all scratched up, and it was full of lube so it was wet and squishy, and the weight of the mattress made it feel pretty tight.

I looked over and Dean was going to town. He had his knees kind of spread apart and his butt was sticking out. I was getting into it, too, and Dean looked over at me and just smiled. We started showing off for each other, like taking it slow, pinching our nipples as we sweet-fucked our mattresses, taking our cocks almost all the way out and slamming them back in. Dean was watching me and I was watching Dean, and, you know, he’s got this kind of beefy butt…it really looked good as he backed it up and rocked it forward. I guess that was when I started to get the idea.

Now, I knew that Dean liked to have stuff up his ass when he came. Sometimes when we were jacking off, his fingers would sort of roam underneath his balls, and just a week or so before all this happened, I caught him beating off with a Sharpie marker stuck up his butt. He was kind of embarrassed, but I didn’t care. I’ve tried it. Who hasn’t tried it?

So, anyway, I started thinking what it might feel like to have my dick up Dean’s ass. And, at that moment—sliding my cock in between a couple of fucking mattresses, for god’s sake—it wasn’t hard to imagine that it would feel pretty goddamn good.

So, I started testing the waters. I scooted closer to him on my knees, and he scooted closer to me so that our hips and thighs were sliding against each other as we humped. It gave me a better view of his cock, anyway, and his of mine. Actually, he was staring pretty hardcore at my cock, which I can’t really blame him for. I’ve got a big dick. No bullshit. It’s a honker.

I started saying shit. “Work that bitch, man. Fucking get that cunt.” It sounds stupid, but it turned both of us on.

My hand was right there, so I just reached over and put it on the small of his back, you know, to sort of help his hips along, to egg him on. He did the same for me, and eventually, my hand, like, naturally slid down to his butt cheeks. He didn’t freak out or anything, so I kept it there, and after a while, I started dragging my fingers along his ass crack. Dean’s totally smooth, totally hairless. Fuck, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

Yeah, Lyddie, I’ll have another beer. Yuengling, please. And a shot. Two shots. Sweet.

So, I was all-out touching his ass, but Dean was still fixated on my cock. I took his hand and brought it out in front so he was cupping my balls. He stuck out his fingers so he could feel my shaft sliding in and out from between the mattresses. And that was when I knew that this could possibly go the way I wanted it to, but still I wasn’t sure.

I was like, “Dean, I can’t believe we’re doing this shit. Fucking a mattress—it’s pathetic.” And Dean was like, “I know.” We both laughed and the mood broke. I got up on the bed and lay back. Dean lay down beside me, and we peeled off the condoms.

“Here we are,” I said, “two fucking hard-bodied jocks and no warm hole to stick our dicks in. Isn’t there anything we can do?” I know. I was being totally obvious, but Dean wasn’t willing to make the connection.

“That’s not entirely true,” he said, and I looked over at him, stroking my dick to keep it hard. “We’ve both got warm holes.”

And I was like, “Yep, that’s true.” For a minute, we just lay there stroking our dicks, which were so, so hard. We both knew what was coming, but neither of us could get up the nerve to say it.

“I wonder what it would be like,” I said. And Dean was like, “To what?” “To have a dick up your ass,” I said. I was like, “I’ve never had anything that big up my butt before. Have you?” And Dean was like, “Yeah, basically I have.”

“Does it hurt?” I said.

Dean said, “Maybe at first, but once you get used to it, it’s fine.”

Another minute goes by where we don’t say anything, and then Dean was like, “Actually, it can be pretty great.”

Then I was thinking, “Okay, this is definitely going to end with my dick up Dean’s ass”. But I had to get there without making him feel like he was, you know, fagging out or whatever.

So I said, “Dean, you know we’re best friends. Whatever happens in this room stays in this room. If what you’re saying is true, then that could end up being a pretty sweet arrangement for the both of us.” He was quiet, so I tried a different approach.

“I don’t know, though,” I said. “I don’t know if I could stick my dick up a guy’s ass. Seems pretty dirty. Even Trisha”—that’s my ex-girlfriend—“even Trisha used to want it up the butt, but I was weird about it because it seemed gross.”

“It’s not gross,” Dean said. “If you wash it and everything and keep it clean. I keep mine clean.”

“And you, like, shave yours and everything, too, right?”

Dean was like, “Yeah.” So I was like, “Lemme see.” Dean rolled over onto his stomach. “Raise your ass up a little bit,” I said, and he did, so his cheeks were kinda spread open. I took his ass in my hands and spread his cheeks apart even more, and there was his hole. It was fucking pink and tight looking, and I was fucking throbbing hard just thinking of getting inside it.

I said, “Yeah, it looks pretty clean.” Dean said, “I just took a shower before we went out, so it should be.” I couldn’t smell it or anything. It just smelled like Dolce & Gabbana, which is Dean’s cologne. Suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge to eat him out. Hey, what can I say? I was thinking of it like a pussy. I wanted to stick my dick in it, so why not stick my tongue in it, too?

So, I got a little closer and sniffed around. It really didn’t smell bad—maybe a little musky, but not bad. I told him that. Then I stuck my tongue out just to get a taste. Dean bucked forward, just went nuts at that little bit of contact. “That’s actually alright,” I said. “You mind if I try some more?”

“No, man,” Dean said, so I did. Worked my tongue right into his butthole, and it wasn’t bad at all. Different taste from pussy, but pretty much the same.

Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it, man.

So, Dean was fucking loving it, just whimpering and whining and scooting his butt back onto my tongue. I mean, I had him, man. No doubt.

I took my tongue out of his ass and Dean wiggled his butt back at me like he was trying to get in anything that would fit. I ran my finger across his asshole, just teasing him with the tip, and he rocked back so that my whole finger slid inside. Then I said, “You’re gonna let me fuck you, aren’t you?” He didn’t say anything, so I slapped his ass a couple times as I pumped him with my finger. “You want me to bonk you, right?” He was like, “Uh-huh.” And I was like, “Finally.”

Anyway, so I grabbed the tube of KY, got myself lubed up as hell—and him, too, and stick my fat hog right at the entrance to his ass. I took my time because I was pretty sure he was, like, a virgin—at least to male-to-male fucking, which I was, too.

I was taking it slow, and finally, his ass gobbled up the head of my dick. He was like, “Take it out, take it out!” so I did, and he tried to back out completely. You know, saying shit like, “I don’t know if I can go through this, man,” to which I was like, “No way.” I mean, we’d gone that far. My balls were starting to go blue. Come hell or high water, I was going to get it in there.

I started teasing him with the head of my dick, and he dug that. Pretty soon I managed to work it back inside. This time, it came easier for him, so I slid more and more in. Then, soon enough, I was balls-deep inside him.

How can I even describe it? Sweet. As. Hell. The fact that this is my buddy, you know? Not some chick I had to get drunk or talk to for hours before taking her back to my room. This is my fucking lacrosse-playing, bitch-railing stud of a roommate, and I’m going to fuck him as hard as I dare, because I know he can dish it out just as bad as I can.

I mean, once he got past that initial pain, I pretty much had free reign. I was long-dicking him, sliding out and pushing all the way back inside. I reached down and felt him still completely hard. I put him on his side and fucked him like that, his cheeks hugging the sides of my shaft as I fucked his butthole. He rode me for a little while. We stood up and did it against the wall. That might not have been all that night. Actually, I think we came pretty quick that first time, but we’ve done it so much since then, I get it all confused.

I mean, yeah. We do it a lot. When we don’t get chicks, anyway. Actually, sometimes we just do it anyway, ‘cause it’s easier than finding chicks. It’s like the fast food of sex. Some mornings I don’t even have to roll out of bed. I just call him over and pork him ‘til we both cream.

***

Fuck, they turned the lights on. Guess it’s time to split. Where you headed?

Oh, I didn’t realize you had a place off campus. That’s pretty sweet. You live by yourself? That sounds all right.

MOTHERFUCKER! I just remembered! Dean split this afternoon. He went home to his parents’ house for the weekend! Fuck. Guess I really am hard up, then!

Well, you got any beer back at your place? Fuck yeah, man—I’ll drink anything. Drink anything and fuck anything. You know how it is.

So, you got half a case of beer and the whole place to yourself. Got any mattresses we can fuck? Ha, ha. But seriously. All this talk. I need to get off.

Hell man, you play your cards right and you never know who will bend over for you. Yeah, even me. No biggie, man—I let Dean have a crack at it from time to time. Be pretty selfish if I didn’t. How big are you? Lemme check…shit, dude. That’s some dick you’re hefting around in those jeans. Oh well. We can take our time, right? Got all night. I’ll teach you how to eat some ass, get me ready. I’m saying, you play your cards right and you can pork me all night long. Good thing we ran into each other, huh? Otherwise we’d have been at home, beating off alone, instead of you having a nice, juicy ass to plug.

Don’t sweat it, man. How’s this—I let you take me out to breakfast tomorrow morning. That’s a pretty good deal, right? Beats an expensive dinner, and lets us get right to the good part. I’m a cheap date, all right? I’m not ashamed to admit it.

The End

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