My advice to That Welsh Bastard, as he's almost certainly known round the office now, is to investigate the menu of said machine to see if it brews anything you do like. Hot chocolate, perhaps? You could steam up the milk and pour it over your separately acquired chocolate powder, for example. Yummo.

Then you would feel part of the team, could do your bit, and in time lose the nickname.

Perhaps he is like me and prefers to be the office maverick? The renegade? The one when sends passive aggressive emails about the air con at 4am in the morning and shits with the stall door open eyeballing people as they walk in? Perhaps he likes to nick all the office supplies and move the printer around the room randomly? Perhaps he sends angry emails telling people to change the printer toner but hides the toner where no one can find it? Perhaps he likes to bring in his own fan during winter and blast it full power across the entire room? Did you think of that? I bet Jeff is like that too.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

The right answer is fúck them.

As a private consumer, so to speak, and as a long-ago union rep, my general view is that a voluntary arrangement set up for the benefit of those that partake in it should not try to rope in those not party to the arrangement.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

The right answer is fúck them.

As a private consumer, so to speak, and as a long-ago union rep, my general view is that a voluntary arrangement set up for the benefit of those that partake in it should not try to rope in those not party to the arrangement.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

The right answer is fúck them.

As a private consumer, so to speak, and as a long-ago union rep, my general view is that a voluntary arrangement set up for the benefit of those that partake in it should not try to rope in those not party to the arrangement.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

The right answer is fúck them.

As a private consumer, so to speak, and as a long-ago union rep, my general view is that a voluntary arrangement set up for the benefit of those that partake in it should not try to rope in those not party to the arrangement.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

Say yes. Clean it particularly badly so the coffee tastes like sh*t. You know? Like Nero.

So, a conundrum for the noted intellectual and philosophical giants of the bored. We've had a flash new coffee machine put in at work (the thing looks like one of those ones you get in coffee shops but with a digital display). However, it's so flash, it needs to be cleaned every day. One of the top coffee drinkers in the office put an email out to suggest that everyone in the office should take turns (in an effort to make sure that the cleaning doesn't just fall upon the pool of secretaries).

I instantly asked whether people (i.e. people like me) who don't drink coffee would be expected to clean it. The fella said yes. I said no chance...and now there's a split emerging within the office of those that think everyone should do their bit, and people (obviously those that don't actually drink coffee) who think that asking people who don't drink coffee to clean the coffee machine is taking the piss.

So, what is the right answer?

so, Jeff the Bear, the man who ended Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and the Klitschko's bro careers , is about to lose a fight to a gay coffee drinker and his female friends ??