PUPPY BOWL
3 p.m., Animal Planet
Off with their leashes. The annual snout-to-snout canine competition introduces six teeth-gnashing pups who are ready to take each other down. Aurora is a Siberian husky. Underdog Biscuit scored four touchdowns in his first game. Elias is a pit bull from Beverly Hills, Calif. Chestnut hails from Alabama. Marta is a pint-size schnauzer-beagle mix. Sally, a Dachsund and basset hound mix, has one terrible vice — she steals slippers. (Animal Planet/Keith Barraclough)

DOWNTON ABBEY
9 p.m., PBS
Last year, “Downton Abbey” came in second in the ratings after the Super Bowl. Obviously, the magnificent rooms of Highclere Castle offered the perfect escape for viewers who want a break from gridiron drama. In the fifth episode of Season 3, things go badly amiss at Downton. Following the death of Sybil, Robert (Hugh Bonneville) and Cora (Elizabeth McGovern) are not speaking. The servants are shunning Matthew’s mother Isobel (Penelope Wilton). And Matthew (Dan Stevens) and Robert have fallen out. Pictured: Matt Milne as Alfred and Ed Speleers as Jimmy. (
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GIRLS
9 p.m., HBO
Hannah (Lena Dunham) throws a dinner party, burns the main course but the real problem is her guests, who have no conversation and no self-control, especially Marnie (Allison Williams) who has a showdown with her ex’s new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) realizes her relationship with Ray (Alex Karpovsky) has gone to a new level, and Jessa (Jemima Kirke) meets her in-laws. (
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ELEMENTARY
10 p.m., CBS
Sherlock (Jonny Lee Miller) pursues Martin Ennis (Terry Kinney), an unpredictable criminal, before he can strike again. During the investigation, Sherlock is forced to work alongside Kathryn Drummond (Kari Matchett), the FBI profiler who literally wrote the book on Ennis. Meanwhile, Watson (Lucy Liu) faces eviction from her apartment. (CBS)

Today marks the return of the greatest unofficial holiday in the history of unofficial holidays. It’s Super Bowl Sunday, an American tradition.

Time to grab the remote, find a comfy seat and hunker down for an afternoon of chips, dip, pizza, beer and commercials, with a little football in between.

Today’s gridiron festivities are a family affair. Coach John Harbaugh will guide the Baltimore Ravens against his brother, San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh.

Star Ravens linebacker and defensive leader Ray Lewis announced before the playoffs his decision to retire at the end of the season, and his team has been riding the resulting emotional wave to the season’s final game and a shot at the Lombardi Trophy. The Baltimore offense is led by quarterback Joe Flacco and running back Ray Rice, a New Rochelle native drafted out of Rutgers in 2008.

The 49ers send out Colin Kaepernick under center. The second-year quarterback made his first start in week 11, after starter Alex Smith suffered a concussion, and held onto the job even after Smith was cleared to play. Kaepernick set a single-game QB rushing record with 181 yards in a divisional round win over the Green Bay Packers.

The CBS pregame show gets rolling at 2 p.m. (but really, Super Bowl preview coverage has been on virtually every channel almost nonstop for the past two weeks). Just before the game’s scheduled 6:30 p.m. kickoff, you get Alicia Keys’ national anthem and player introductions.

Then, finally, at long last, it’s football time. But between the big-bucks ads and the Beyoncé halftime show with her Destiny’s Child pals, you might want to strap on some Depends, because you won’t get any bathroom breaks.

Now you’re living the American dream — chips, pizza, beer, football and adult diapers. Happy Unofficial Holiday!

The vast majority of networks schedule reruns opposite The Super Bowl, but a few brave souls will be willing to watch something else, like the programs listed below.