Kate Walsh, like all of us, prefers to focus on the important things on Oscar night – namely, who wore an amazing/ridiculous/amazingly ridiculous dress and who has messed with their face the most since last year. Well, it appears that the Private Practice star has declared a draw when it comes to the latter and has offered a few sage words of advice for her fellow actor types over the Twitters: "Dear Hollywood actresses, stop fucking up your faces, it's looking the [sic] the bar scene in Star Wars." And with that she's ensured no invites for industry Botox parties will be coming her way anytime soon and gets an extra tick in the box of approval from the rest of us. [Twitter]

She not only killed it by hitting the red carpet sans wig and looking awesome, Viola Davis also dropped the best truth bomb of the night when she said that as great as Meryl Streep and co. are no one would know their names if they were black women. "Do you know the black equivalent of a Meryl Streep? Or a Julia Roberts or a Nicole Kidman?" she asked. "The only category is for a strong authoritative hoochie mama. If you exude anything else, you don't exist. There is no character for you." She added that she nearly pulled out of The Help because she was conflicted about playing a maid, but changed her mind. "When I saw how rich the role was, it was a no-brainer." [The Sun]

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Her Oscar speech was routinely criticized, but the pink dress Gwyneth Paltrow was wearing when she lost her shit in 1999 shouldn't avoid our poison arrows either, according to mom Blythe Danner. "It didn't fit her very well when she won an Oscar. The Ralph Lauren, it didn't fit her," she said. "She's worn some gorgeous ones since then." [US]
I think we'd all enjoy Blythe's take on the caped number she was sporting this year. [E!]

Jennifer Aniston must have a savage case of blue ovaries – that's the equivalent of blue balls, yeah? – because if it's not her million pregnancies that never materialize it's the weddings that never seem to eventuate. And we all know that they're only the two topics that get a woman's motor running, amirite ladies? Hopping on the wedding-go-round once more, we learn that she was talking about her imminent marriage to Justin Theroux — the one he doesn't know about yet but she and tabloid editors are convinced is going to happen — at a pre-Oscar party. "I'll be married by the end of the year," someone said she said. [Mirror]
It has to be true because Jennifer and Justin got a puppy together, which is basically a kid. They also named it Sophie after Sophie's Choice. [US]
And they're both going to need that puppy to hug now that the film they hooked up on, Wanderlust, is tanking at the box office. [Radar]

Speaking o' kiddly winks, Angelina Jolie revealed that though her children know about different cultures they're going to be sadly underprepared for the first world due to their lack of pop culture knowledge because they don't even know that the Oscars exist. "We don't let them watch these things. They don't really know about them actually," she said. "We say we have to go to work tonight-they said, 'Hurry home.'" [E!]
Of course entertainment writers have to refer to the unnamed new project between Angelina and Brad Pitt as their "baby" – see above re: all that women think about. [E!]
The screenwriters behind The Descendents had a pretty good burn for Angelina following some conspicuous onstage leg action. [E!]
Her right leg now has a Twitter account — and more followers than you or I will ever have. Her left leg, however, is struggling. [Telegraph]

After paying her respects, Tina Fey confirms that Ryan and his capped teeth are indeed victims of comedy. [E!]

Sean Young was arrested outside the Governor's Ball party. But the real embarrassment here is that she's still referred to as "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective star." [TMZ]

Hollywood gets all puffy at the thought of getting a piece of Tim Tebow. [Page Six]

Janet Jackson was cracking her knuckles and getting ready for a fight after J Lo looked like she'd stolen her bit by getting nip slippy at the Oscars, but Jennifer's stylist has told everybody to be cool as it's all a misunderstanding. [People]

Poor ol' Halle Berry couldn't make the Oscars because she is still feeling rough after that goating accident. No, that's not a typo. [E!]

Seth Rogen would like to thank the Academy and his fans for recognizing his continued efforts to aid the greening of America, the actor receiving the title of ‘Stoner of the Year' at the Independent Spirit Awards. [NYDN]

If it was anyone else it'd be notable, but you get the feeling that a low-rent Eyes Wide Shut-themed party isn't all that unusual at Casa Paris Hilton. [US]

Because human beings are classy individuals, armed guards are now protecting Whitney Houston's grave so no one digs her up and takes her jewelry. [The Grio]

She said she was going to get arrested for taking part in the oil-drilling protest in New Zealand and it would appear that Lucy Lawless was on the money. [US]

A poorly timed oversight made it so a Seinfeld rerun wherein Jerry Seinfeld makes light of suicide aired just days after former cast member Daniel Von Bargen tried to top himself. [TMZ]

In vaguely related news, Matt Lucas has announced he is shutting up shop on Twitter because some dick made fun of the suicide death of his ex-husband, Kevin McGee. [Evening Standard]

George "Giggles" Clooney — why not? – revealed he used to be Tony Bennett's driver when he was a young buck. [Yahoo]