Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Just Go Already, South Carolina, Robot Devil Begs You

South Carolina tried to secede from the United States in 1828 over Andrew Jackson's "tariffs of abomination." When threatened with hanging they chose instead to sit down and shut up. South Carolina threatened to secede from the United States again in 1850 in protest of California becoming a state (if that's not a foreshadowing of future events I'm Wilt Chamberlain). Then in December 1860 South Carolina finally achieved its dream of becoming the first state to secede from the United States of America to defend the tradition of enslaving other human beings. After the election of President Barack Obama, America's first Black President, last week, the citizens of South Carolina have once again decided they no longer want to be Americans. Well, here's some words of advice from the rest of us in America....

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Seriously, just go away you ignorant, backwards in-breds. You never seemed to agree with what the rest of America was doing anyway, as evidenced by your multiple threats to secede. Just go already. Please. Are you still here?