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Saturday, June 1, 2013

My week has been a little trying and I haven't had a ton of time in the studio. I also haven't had the time I would want to read some of my favorite blogs. So if you haven't heard from me, I apologize. Life gets in the way sometimes. Regardless, I wanted to post a mini-project that I did last week. It was fun, quick and a delightful gift to give to my bestie.

I took this pic...well, I actually stole this pic off of my friend's Facebook page. He posted it a few weeks ago with a caption that read: Happy Dog. This is my best friend's Maltese, Missy chilling out at their beach house in Florida. The overall feel and soft tones in the photo made me want to use it.

I popped it into Picasa and played around with some of the settings and then reduced the photo into a pencil sketch.

After printing the pencil sketch version out on a piece of 8 1/2 X 12 watercolor paper, I washed the different areas of the images with gouache.

As I worked with the medium, I made subtle changes to the image, changing the lines and direction in the foreground, creating a little more drama in the atmosphere and intensifying the depth of the ocean color. This was a fun, relaxing project and I had a blast delivering it to him at his new art gallery that is under construction as this time.

It's fun to create something for someone you love. There is a certain nervousness that is involved in such an endeavor, even with something as simple at this little piece of art. In the end, I think he loved it. After all, it has his sweet Missy in the image. Who wouldn't like something like that?!

Friday, May 24, 2013

As an artist, I have come to realize how important it is to be connected to a community of creative people. I love all my friends, whether they are creative or not. They all play a different role in my circle of friendship. Heck! My husband isn't a creative and I think he is pretty darn cool himself! But my artist friends understand me at a level that is only possible if you are crazy, weird, nuts sewn together in way that creative thinkers are knitted.

After reading through the first half of Julie Cameron's The Artist Way, I decided to take the initiative to champion a Artist Studio Date once a month with two of my favorite creative friends. We get together once a month with a sketchbook and limited supplies to create small works of art, but more importantly to connect and talk and share. The idea is to come with a loose idea of what we might paint on the page. We paint, chat and stop for lunch. We sip Prosecco and laugh about our lives, our men and bounce ideas off of each other. These ideas are both about our studio work and about our lives. We are three months into our dates and I wanted to share with you the three pages that I have completed.

In my bag of tricks I pack drawing materials, a limited supply of brushes and tubes of gouache. Here are the results of each month's date.

Pic from the first Artist Date

In the above small painting, I came with the goal to just paint something without thinking. I brought a few brushes, pencils and gouache. (For those of you who don't know what gouache is, it's a watercolor paint that has nice qualities that allow if needed for a more opaque result than most standard watercolor paints.) I just did without thinking, laying down a layer of bright yellow and then just adding the elements. I have glue relief stamps that I made and tossed in the bag that I used to create the square and rectangular shapes. During the afternoon, one of my friends said, "You can't be erased." It wasn't a direct comment at me, but an overall pronouncement. It stuck with me, so I used it in the piece on the bottom right corner.

On our second Artist Date, I brought with me a copy of a photograph that my daughter took of herself to use as inspiration. Here is the photocopy. It's a somewhat somber image. She captures herself in many different moods. I thought this image would be interesting to tackle both thematically and structurally.

Below is the small painting I did based on this photograph.

I decided on a brighter color palette and put down a basic background sketch using pencil. I made the decision at one point to open her eye because I thought the downward gaze would help me illustrate the mood of the image. We, as a family, have been through a lot in the last few months. I wanted to document this moment.

This past week, we met in MY studio for the first time. Boy was I excited to host the day. We all three have come to look forward to getting together to share our work and our lives. We can say anything and the other person doesn't judge. We 'get' each other implicitly. Weirdos like other weirdos. Hee hee.

Gypsy the Studio cat!

For this week in addition to the Artist Date, I was attempting to also participate in an online community linky party sponsored by Inspiration Avenue. Maggie picks a theme each week and all the participants create something based on that theme. I rarely participate in these parties because my work is my work and I find it hard to paint something that doesn't apply. The theme this week was "Retro Art 1950s and 60s." I had the hair brained idea that I would create my Artist Date page based on the work of the 1950s and 60s artist Mark Rothko. I love his work and thought it would be fun to explore this idea.

It turned out to be not the best idea. I am not Mark. Will never be Mark. I hated the painting. It didn't feel like me. The rectangles were all off or something. Couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was that I drank too much Prosecco? (wink)

In the end, I was so unhappy with the painting that I added this random tree. Why not? It is what it is for sure. One of my friends said that the painting reminded her of Jasper Johns, another painter from that time period. So hey, it's my Retro Art. Ha!

An artist's life can be very isolating. I think it is important to get out with other creative people. We feed each other. We validate each other. Sometimes...we just need to 'be' together, if nothing more than to realize that there are other weird people out there just like us! It's worth the effort. I promise.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

This week I am in the studio doing small works on paper. I needed a break from my larger work after my husband left a door open on my studio allowing a gust of wind to turn the painting I blogged about last week into a sail which resulted in a large rip in the canvas. I could try and repair the rip and continue, but the painting wasn't really working anyway. I just don't feel like investing the time into something that is already damaged.

I was disappointed. Yes. I did take most of the day to pout, bitch and complain. I behaved horribly, which I felt obligated to do. (wink) Sometimes...ya just gotta stomp your feet and get it all out!

Perhaps he did me a favor. The event forced me to change course and start on something fresh and new. My other studio work can wait for a little bit while I explore this avenue. I am having fun with it. I showed this one painting to my friends on Facebook yesterday and I have gotten nice feedback.

Gouache and pencil on paper. 6 inch X 6 inch.

My husband called it whimsical. Another friend called it bubbly delicious! I haven't called it anything yet. Which is kinda strange because I usually name every last thing I paint. Anybody out there care to help a girl out?! Wanna take a stab at a name? Who knows....perhaps I will use it.

So, I could have remained stuck in that rip-in-my-canvas moment. I could have used it as an excuse to impede the momentum that I am attempting to build in my studio work. To many...including my critical self, that would have been understandable...even justified.

But why? What was I to gain from remaining in that negative place? What benefit or growth can be achieve if we allow ourselves to be tied down? There might have been something to gain in that place. I think there is something to learn from in every circumstance. But I chose to let it go and move on. I chose to untie from that entrapment and explore what a new freedom might offer.

In order to feel good about not languishing in that place, I had to completely switch it up and work in a different manner. My husband knew what was good for him, so he helped me rearrange and clean up my studio space over the weekend. I set up the tables in a different configuration that is more conducive to working on a paper. It's amazing what a little clean up and switch up can do for perspective! Fresh path.

Who knows to what this path might lead. I think it is worth traveling. I think that this matters. I think letting go of what ties us down matters. It allows us to move on...

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”

Friday, May 10, 2013

There is this thing that happens to an artist while working in the studio. It is inevitable We all experiences it from time to time. It's like hitting a stone wall. Let me explain...You have this painting in progress. The problem is...it's stalled. There is no progress. It's trapped in a place. We stand looking, realizing that there are some very obviously things wrong, but more importantly...there is something elusively wrong too. Many times we continue to layer paint, add elements, squint at it, turn our heads to one side, stand with puzzled faces and sometimes just plain walk away in disgust!

My friend, Riitta and I also sometimes chose to put those paintings in 'time out.' I call it putting it in the closet. Riitta calls it the punishment box! We chose to laugh in spite of our frustrations, because in reality sometimes you just gotta laugh! So why the rambling over this inevitable circumstance? Well.... I've got this on an easel wasting the days away in a suspended purgatory...

Painting in Progress

So...the obvious problems? Just above the mid-level area of this painting, the colors need to change. Obviously?... This painting is far from worked to completion. So why am I 'stuck?' It's been like this for days, without an answer. Sometimes, I will send an image to Riitta to get her take. But this time...I have just let it sit. Deep breaths...

Detail - Painting in progress

Okay...so here's my solution. Well, it's not MY solution, it's one of those 'tricks' we are taught along the way. Perhaps, it's just a coping skill we learn...ya know, the skills all of us employ on a daily basis in an attempt to stay sane?!! I am going to put a Voodoo curse on this painting. Just Kidding! I thought I had ya there! (wink) I am going to simply turn this painting upside down and start fresh...well, kinda fresh. I have something on this canvas and I am going to try and re-address it from another perspective.

Many times this technique will help me re-establish a color palette direction. Sometimes it will allow me to correct composition issues. Sometimes it is just as simple as forcing myself to enter stroke marks from a different direction which can change the overall energy or flow of the painting. I might also cover a few areas that aren't working for me with gesso. We shall see what develops in the upside down world.

Regardless...this painting needs the big 'switcherooy!'

So today...I'm flipping out!... uh wait... No. This painting will be flipping over. Yep...Not me, the painting. Got it. (Sometimes it feels like both.) Ha! The key to being able to do this? Letting go... Whatever I thought this painting might be, is a thing of the past. Let's see what happens...

"Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to." Anonymous

Thursday, May 2, 2013

My son is a musician and a song writer. He discovered his passion for music at age 13. In high school, he was an honors student and pretty darn amazing at remembering facts and figures. He always excelled in the sciences. He had a gift for understanding scientific concepts. When he was quite young, he would love to get as gifts large coffee table books covering all sorts of biological and animal life subjects. He would devour the contents and to this day can still pull up details about strange creatures and organisms.

He is one of those people who is fascinating and is knitted together quite differently from most others. He has the intellect of a geeky kid, but not the personality. He is extremely outgoing and social. This fact has made growing up tough for him. Even though he was one of the smartest kids in his classes, he struggled to perform academically because of the negative distractions. He has not had an easy road. At the age of 18, he has experienced much more hurt and heartbreak then most people do in a lifetime. His struggles have been epic...but he is a survivor.

I was told once by an elderly lady whom we came into contact with when he was a toddler that I had been given a gift. She told me that I had been given a child that was here to change the world. Oh course, she was saying this based on his current headstrong and unrelenting behavior, but somehow she saw something in him. During some of the toughest days as a mother, I would cling to those words, thinking that they meant something. I told myself that she must have been an angel send with a message. It got me through a lot. I am grateful to this day that she took the time to impart her words. We should all do that more often.

Paris 2011. He spontaneously joined a group of street performers. He played for two hours with these guys who had mad respect for him. He even drew a pretty huge crowd of people. I think he still sees this moment as one of the
happiness afternoons to date.

I had always just assumed that both my kids would have a great high school experience. That my house would be filled with friends and parties, football games and school activities. I assumed that I would be able to guild them into choosing the best, most well selected colleges that would match their passions. I guess that I always thought that if I worked hard and became the best mother on earth, that they could move mountains and that everything would work out just great. I assumed a lot, but learn oh so much more. They say that when life throws a curve ball, you better have your mitt ready. Well, we caught the ball...and we are still trying to recover from the sting...we are also looking for the recipe to the right lemonade.

This image was taken back in 2012 by my daughter, who is a gifted artist and photographer. I have a ton of images of him throughout the years walking away. Kinda a strange happenstance. I realized this during the last 6 months...that he always seemed to be walking away, in search of something. Perhaps we will help him find that something now.

So now we are on a new road. A new normal. A one day at a time future. The recipe is somewhere out there. No doubt Life will point us in a direction. Life has a way of doing that. I still believe that I am that great mother who can help my kid move mountains. It just so happens that we've moved to a new range.

The last week has showed me that sometimes hope and courage in combination can move mountains. Many of you know about the struggles our family has faced over the last year, especially the last 6 months. There has been a huge turning point to the positive and I am...for the first time in a long long time able to breath again. The hope that I have held onto so dearly has changed shape going from a desperate hope to a hope that with it carries a smile.

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else on this earth. It's gentle and sweet during the easy times, but tenacious and ferocious like a lion when put to the challenge of defending and saving her own. I know this having experienced it first hand. Don't mess with the mamma!

For the first time in my life, I have used my art to get through it all. It has distracted me when I needed to be distracted. It has comforted me when I needed comforting. Through this time, I have re-connected with my artist child, clinging to it like a baby clings to it's blanket. I don't intend on ever letting it go again because I realize that it is so much an important part of who I am. I am amazed at what I have learned about myself. Without this difficult trial, I might not have ever found my way back to me.

F.G. in Gouache, Gouache and Charcoal on Paper

This was a quick painting based off a photograph that I took back when my son was 12. He was standing up on a hill in Central Park in New York City. I saved the photograph for years hoping to use it in the studio. On a particularly gloomy day, I decided to make this piece using a combination of Payne Grey in Gouache and charcoal.

The road ahead will not be easy. But if I have learned anything, I have learned that every path has a purpose...no matter how dark it might be...there is always light somewhere down it. You just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Well, I thought that I might be able to pull this blog up out of the dust, but life is just too crazy. Perhaps I will just put tiny thoughts down and post a few images for now. I am not taking 'professional' photos of the work yet. These are just iPhone snap shots of the paintings on easels in the studio space.

On the right, is one of my recent paintings. I completed this about a week ago and it is no longer on the easel in my studio as pictured here in this quick snapshot on my iPhone. It is sitting on the hearth of my fireplace along with a basket holding a blanket.

Here are a few more snapshots of some recent work. The first one is an older painting that I took back into the studio for a few changes. Sorry....the pic isn't centered, but hey, it's the best I got for ya now!

"Finding Answers" - Acrylic on canvas. 3 x 5 ft.

This second one is another recently completed painting.

Mood Disorder, Acrylic on canvas 3 feet by 5 feet.

I've have two paintings in progress in the studio. I just took this quick snapshot of them sitting side by side.

The long, tall canvas is just in the beginning stages. I like to put a background of color down to start. I just let myself paint and try not to over think the choices. I know that most of it will be covered up in the end.

The large, square painting has three layers of paint at this point. I started with straight-out-of-the-tube color in a block style,

Then painted a wash over and added a few opaque areas of white.

Yesterday, I covered the surface with gesso and created a mottled surface with plastic bags.

Here are a few more detailed snapshots of the surface texture.

I will be putting some sort of wash over this surface soon and add some imagery. Still pondering on this one.

So that is it for now. My personal life is spinning all around currently, so you will have to excuse my lack of consistency and not-so-great photos. It's all I can do right now. I'm okay with that. Hope you are too!

Favorite quote this week: In dreams and in love, there are no impossibilities.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Hey! Hello! Remember me??!! My last blog entry was back in August of 2012. I just dropped off the face of the earth. Well, I didn't really do such a thing. But I did have an abrupt happening in my life that changed it forever. I have decided to come back to my blog and start back writing. It's been too long. But I have been through an extremely painful time of my life and I just wasn't able to keep up with The Homeless Finch. The places I have been were all too difficult to open up and write about and all too encompassing for me to be able to ignore in my writing. I'm a truthful person...almost to a fault. But I knew what was happening needed to remain private and was all too crazy to share in an open forum like my blog. Perhaps I will share some of what has happened in a retrospective way in the upcoming weeks.

iPhone Pic from the studio

In every dark day, there comes an enlightenment. I have learned a lot about myself and have grown exponentially as a person. Life is a journey. We pack a bag and in it we take ourselves, our heart, our hopes and our dreams. We live thinking we know certain truths, certain rules, ways of thinking. As a mother, I have learned that nothing is defined in truths, rules or thinking. We cannot live our lives thinking that if we do all the right things as a parent, that everything will just magically fall into place. Life is a constant flow of redesigning our paths to fit what lies ahead of us. It's about finding our true self. It's about adapting to what is, not what could have been. It's about the simple things, like stopping to notice something sweet in nature...to recognize the beauty around us. It's about today. It's about right now.

I am currently working on week 5 in Julie Cameron's The Artist Way and will most likely write about my related experiences. I have been writing my Morning Papers religiously for over a month and participating in Artist's Dates bi-weekly. I consider myself an artist in recovery. If you don't know what I am talking about, I will explain in upcoming posts. I have finally started back painting in the studio and will show you my progress. I am working toward finally finding my artistic voice; a voice I was not entitled to as a child and have never really been able to find throughout my adulthood. Life is a journey...

Expect a change in the "look" of my blog coming up soon too! Glad to be back!