2018 began with modest expectations. It is ending with endless possibilities. Along the way, God has blessed me with new new opportunities, new friends, a new life partner. I still experience chaotic mood swings that require diligent treatment such as medication and therapy; but with a caring network of family and friends and a strong connection to Christ's body, my sanity is maintained and I can contribute to the common good. Most particularly I offer friendly counsel to those like me who have troubled minds by sharing the inspiration of God's word and the encouraging Way of Christ. Now that the year is winding down, I thought it would be good to look back at the journey. Below I have 12 featured posts (one/month) with a brief excerpt. The titles contain a link to the posts. I hope you will review these and enjoy reading through the blessings of 2018. [...]

12 Blessings in 2018: Featured Posts to Encourage and Inspiretonyroberts2018-12-30T15:38:54+00:00

Some time ago a woman asked a young pastor to perform an exorcism on her. She was tormented by a commanding inner voice and she had come to believe she was possessed by a demon. He didn't know what to do. He hadn't taken any "Exorcism 101" class at seminary. He wasn't sure he even believed in demon spirits. Sure, Jesus cast out demons. Paul wrote of evil "powers and principalities" that subverted a believer's faith. The history of Christian literature is littered with stories of possessed persons. But in the modern world? Didn't demons die with the Enlightenment? But the woman was persistent. She was clearly vexed and as her pastor he didn't want to simply dismiss her need. So, he consulted a mentor who had many years of experience in pastoral ministry. This pastor advised him to ask three questions to better assess if the disease was at [...]

I can remember quite clearly the moment that I realized that I might have had postnatal depression. It was in the middle of a Canberra winter; cold grey skies, it was windy outside and I was stuck inside with newborn. I had tried everything to get my child to go to sleep. I had rocked him, bounced him on my exercise ball, walked laps around the house, I even pleaded with him in case that might have worked. But nothing was going to get my child to go to sleep. I ended up placing him carefully in a pram and rolling him over the ledge between my carpets and flooring, over and over again. I was crying as I was doing this. Pleading with myself that this was something that most mothers went through. But what most mothers did not go through was voices in their heads. I heard a [...]

We are all lucky enough to have a brain. Some are grounded, shaped by experiences of regularity that don’t feel the need to explore anything spiritually interesting or indeed supernatural. Some people would rather search that kind of thing out. My brain is geared toward the latter, but I have learned that an element of conventionality and being in step with the ordinary world is no less than a necessity. Kind of like Agent Mulder from ‘The X Files’ who has his sceptical partner, Agent Scully keeping him grounded and ready to consider the more scientific answers to some of this wonderful life’s questions. One of the biggest questions in this life is ‘Is there a God?’ My instinct tells me that yes there is, undoubtedly, based on my observations and experiences, and what I feel in my heart. Then my more rational side prods me and says ‘hold [...]

The Relationship Between Religion and Mental Illness by Psychosis Recoverer Peter McDonnelltonyroberts2018-06-05T21:35:57+00:00

It was just about two weeks ago that I found out that others didn’t hear noises in their heads like I do. I have had them all my life. Normal sounds. A car door slamming. A bell ringing. A buzzing sound. Someone saying my name. A ping. This is just one symptom of my mental illness. Right from the start the nurses in the nursery in the hospital where I was born immediately noticed that I was the “most nervous baby” they all had ever seen. Alberta Baptist Church, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, 1971. There was a great pouring out of the Spirit in the area at the time and there were revivals going on all over town. Embry Williams was preaching at a week night revival at Alberta Baptist Church. I don’t remember the sermon or what really happened that night, but I do know that I walked down and [...]

This post was originally published on January 14, 2018; 6 months and 13 days from when I moved away from my self-destructive life alone, into the home of my sister and brother-in-law. I don't pay enough for room & board, so now and then I like to boost them up with a good story. Here is one of those. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. (Psalm 23.1-2 KJV) My family of origin was crazy. I mean crazy. I dealt with the craziness by retreating and became a psych patient myself. My sister responded with an urge to treat the problem and became a psych nurse. But my sister ("Karen") is much more than any psych nurse. Many of my friends who have mental illness have great respect for her. My [...]

Sarah Dubinsky and I are diagnostic cousins. Her label is schizoaffective Disorder. Mine is bipolar with psychotic features. Tom-a-to, tom-ah-to. We both struggle with a chemical imbalance that can severely affect our functioning, causing us to perceive what is within us and around us in ways that can be debilitating. We discovered we both had auditory hallucinations. I asked Sarah about hers. Sarah: I have different types of voices. The external ones are not so much commanding as negative. Judgemental. Guilt-inducing. Then, there are my internal ones. Assessment voices that are like inner dialogue. These serve a purpose until they spiral into a deeper psychosis.... How about you? Me: Similar. I had never thought of the assessment voices, but I get that. My external voices are accusatory. Condemning. I’d love to get rid of those, but I’m afraid if I do I will also lose my creative ones. [...]

Sarah Dubinsky: A New Facebook Friendtonyroberts2018-03-04T05:20:16+00:00

Yesterday, I received two messages with video clips of Vice President Pence responding to a “mental illness” accusation. My first thought was “What now?” I rarely open political messages or links, but given this was about faith and mental illness, I felt both obliged and intrigued. In the clip, Pence refers to a comment on ABC that claimed Christianity was a mental illness. Unlike much political rhetoric that is filled with deceit, I suspected that Pence was reasonably accurate in his remarks. Authentic Christian faith doesn’t hold up well to media sound bytes. The exact comment made was this: It’s one thing to talk to Jesus, it’s quite another when Jesus talks back to you. That’s mental illness. Was this a joke? A careless slam on Pence? Something more? Two other persons on the show took umbrage at the remarks. One said: Jesus talks to me every day and I’m [...]

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11.28-30) I grew up in a country church where there was much talk of having burdens. Members, ministers, missionaries all spoke of having a burden for youth, drug addicts, Africa. Through their impassioned speech, the sweat on their brows, and the waving of their leather Bibles, they would stir up in us a burden to give — prayer, supplies, money. What I got from this early spiritual teaching is that a burden is something God gives a person who then transfers this burden to others. It didn’t occur to me at the time that it had [...]

Feeling Burdened By or a Burden For?tonyroberts2018-02-07T02:52:18+00:00

One feature of the bipolar disorder illness I have is that my goals are high and when I don't reach them, I plummet into a pit of depression. When I am manic, I think I can conquer the world and when I don't, the world comes crashing down upon me. It's a vicious cycle and I know of no sure way to prevent it. Spiritual disciplines such as prayer and Bible study, worship and fellowship, can temporarily temper the extreme highs and lows. Yet, try as I might to remain positive, too often I wind up sitting on the edge of the cliff with Jonah, the sun burning hot on my flesh, wallowing in waves of self-pity. When I'm manic, I think I can conquer the world and when I don't, the world comes crashing down upon me. Mental illness is extremely self-centered. Some people find this very offensive, [...]

Resolve to be Loving, Kind, and Justtonyroberts2018-01-19T16:10:24+00:00