October 12, 2001

Zoolander

By PETER M. NICHOLS

SEX Matilda admits she hasn't had sex in two years, which touches off the partly viewed beginnings of an orgy.

PROFANITY A fair amount.

FOOTNOTE Hansell describes his experiences with every drug ever invented.

FOR WHICH CHILDREN?

UNDER AGE 12 This isn't for them.

AGES 12 AND UP Mr. Stiller and an often amusing film will attract teenagers. There is no huge harm.

crazed clothier named Mugatu (Mr. Ferrell) needs a very dumb male model to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia, who has pledged to shut down Mugatu's sweatshop operations in his country. Fabio is too smart for the job, but there is Derek Zoolander (Mr. Stiller), male model of the year for three years straight. Certain that he must have won a fourth time, Zoolander races to the podium even after another winner has been announced. Is that dumb enough?

Dumb, vacuous, empty — Zoolander is all these things, but still he longs to chuck modeling and take up a meaningful life teaching "kids who don't read good" at an institute financed by his efforts on the runway. Flouncing around his hall-of-the- mountain-king headquarters, Mugatu simply wants Zoolander programmed à la Manchurian candidate and put out to kill at a big show to be attended by the prime minister.

But Zoolander may be too addled to be programmed. After his defeat at the awards show, all he can think about is his rivalry with a younger model, Hansel (Mr. Wilson), and his newly flaming desire to return to his roots (leading to a brief stint in the southern New Jersey coal mines). Then there is his growing attraction to Matilda (Ms. Taylor), the Time magazine reporter who wrote a nasty cover story about him.

During a runway "walk-off" to determine the better man, Hansel defeats Zoolander by removing his own underwear without taking his pants off. Later the pair become friends. At the show Mugatu tries to pass off the whole slave-labor thing as a kind of freedom movement. "Kids as young as 5 could work as they pleased," he tells the crowd. The prime minister looks contented, but will he survive?