I'd rather be having a quiet drink... and can be followed on Twitter @alcothusiast; and friended on Untappd (handle: "neilcake" - all welcome).

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Spirit Log: Grande Absente 69 absinthe

Decided to use my booze
budget on something a little different this month. Having stocked up on bourbon
on my Florida trip and with two poker nights coming up, it seemed like a
good idea to invest in a fancy bottle of absinthe. You might not see the logic
there, but it made sense to me.

There are way more
available (and readily so) than the first time I ever bought a bottle (15 years
ago), and there is even an online store that
specialises in absinthe, though sadly I didn’t find that one until I had
already made my purchase. Nevertheless, this one- Grande Absente 69 - is quite
interesting as it claims to be the nearest product to the absinthe that was
banned throughout Europe and America in 1914. I’m not going to go into a
history lesson.

I’ll just tell thee
nah, I don’t actually like absinthe
as such (it’s generally far too bitter to actually enjoy the way I’d enjoy my
favourite genres of spirit), but I do love bringing it out at parties,
impressing the guests by preparing it in the bohemian method, and then getting everyone smashed. There are
loads of ways you can have it, but I’ve always used this one:

Pour a shot in a
glass, pour a little more onto a teaspoon of sugar, light the contents of the
spoon, wait a bit while it caramelises, tip the contents into the glass, stir
until the sugar is dissolved, then pour a shot of water into the glass to douse
the flames before too much alcohol is burned off. Neck it. And thusly you are
changed (for the evening). Best cleanse your palate with something if you want
to follow it up with something a little finer.

Apparently, though
dependent upon which source you use, that isn’t even the correct way of doing
the Bohemian method, so with this bottle I be trying a couple of different
methods gleaned from here.

As the name
suggests, this brand tips the scale at a liver-melting 69 ABVs. Absinthe can be
found at a variety of strengths, and this one is approaching the pinnacle,
though the strongest I’ve seen so far is 89.9 ABVs. The more I read into
absinthe though, the more factors there are to be concerned with when selecting
a bottle. Apparently brands at 89.9% aren’t the genuine article and sadly, the
more I read about Grande Absente 69, the more I’m getting the impression it
isn’t a particularly good brand in spite of its profession to adhere to
traditional French distillation methods and follow traditional recipes. That’s
a fucking shame considering it cost me more than 40 notes. I probably
should’ve looked at this site first.

I never realised so many people were so serious about
absinthe.

I’m not going to get too down about it though because, to be
fair, it is just for getting smashed at parties, and none of my guests are
going to know the first thing about absinthe. Getting them hammered will be
enough this time. I’ll worry about
quality next time I look for an absinthe. The Germans make it well apparently,
and with a trip to Berlin coming up it looks like I’ve finally found an
alcoholic souvenir to look for.

Absinthe reviews all seem to talk about the ‘louche’ which
is supposed to be a sign of quality, though apparently they don’t have to
louche and sometimes bad ones do… so make of that what you will. The last one I bought certainly louched, and presumably this will be
something I am more concerned about in future.

So, as I said, I
thought I’d try a couple of new methods with this one. Read about the Backdraft method next week, when I talk
about actually opening the bottle at a poker night. For now though, here’s
something I did after that, that for
some reason I am including outside of synchronicity. Think of it as Pulp
Fiction without the violence or dialogue.

Glass in a glass

The results then, of the little experiment you can watch in
the half-assed video above were… that it was fucking awful. All the sweetness I
had originally found (that will probably make more sense when you read next
week’s post) was replaced by a bitterness that felt like drinking liquid
plague. Perhaps I should have put some ice in it, I don’t know. What I do know
was that it made me gag. I just had to neck it, but sadly, because I’d put so
much water in it, there was too much and it took 3 big, entirely unpleasant
gulps before I could call it job done and think about booking a hypnotherapy
session that would wipe all memory of it from my mind.

Do people really drink
this for pleasure?

I told Mrs Cake of the experience the next day, and she
asked why I’d bothered with the whole method – could I not have just poured
some water in it? And you know what? I don’t have any answer to that. It’s not
going to be any different to just adding water, is it? Sure it’s a little bit
more interesting to look at but… yeah! Nevermind.

With Ice

Yeah well, that absinthe sat around in the kitchen for a good
while (after the poker night that you can read about next week) with no parties
to go to and no one clamouring to drink it, so one Friday night when I was
already fairly smashed from some post work drinks, I thought I’d give it a go
with ice. And most surprisingly… it was all right. The deep cold clearly helps
to suppress the overriding bitterness – and that’s apparent because after a
while, when a large proportion of the ice has melted and the solution is
working its way back to room temperature, those bitter flavours return. So my
advice to you is to finish it while it’s still cold.

My knowledge and experience of absinthe is still in the
newborn stage at this point – so I’m not able to focus on things and haven’t
recognised who are the important people in my life yet. It wouldn’t be fair or
even very illuminating then to draw any conclusions for you on whether you
should buy this product. I won’t be buying again, but by the same token I
haven’t found any brand I would confidently buy again yet. Keep joining me as
the adventure continues, as you know it will. In the meantime, keep enjoying your booze and join me next week when I'll be writing a little bit more about absinthe and drinking in general.

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.