Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Oscars Poop-cap

I guess since I'm at the forefront of pop culture I need to contribute my 2 cents to the poop-fest that was the Oscars. Here are the only two things I liked about it (aside from Ellen's awesome hosting. Hearts.)

Wait, I know I told everyone I hate award shows but when I got home Sunday after DDPP exhausted and sweaty and realized there was nothing else on tv, I had to watch them. Had to! Reading a book or cleaning my room was NOT AN OPTION!

The dancers behind that screen? WHAT?! So amazing. I know it's like, not really that amazing but every time they'd make a car or a gun I was like "GET OUT OF TOWN!" I'm also impressed by drawings and music.

Also, the sound effects choir. Ok that might have been the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yes, it was amazing what they could do with their voices, but holy crap. First... their faces! I mean the expressions alone where enough to send me into a giggle fit for days. Then just the hilarity of them being on stage, at the Oscars, dressed to the 9s....making wind blowing and cork popping noises with their mouths.

About Me

Glesbian (n.) /GLEZ.be.un/

You need to know where Glennis shops. You must find out where Glennis eats. Glennis' opinions on life matter to you. You are a Raging Glesbian.

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You have questions I have answers, but why should you listen? In 1998 I moved to NY with $500 and 5 bags of clothes. I fought my way through the muck and grime to come out the other side triumphant. Like one of those really satisfying morning BM's, my advice will set you straight.

"Readers can send in questions and Glennis will publish her response, full of profanities, tangents, and surprisingly good advice."-Radar's Work Book Project

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."