Wantto win $500?

Subscribe to YourTango newsletter

Putin Denies Engagement

The Russian leader claims that there is no wedding in his near future.

Last week we mentioned a rumor about that Vladimir Putin (Russian President) may be engaged to ultra-flexible gymnast Alina Kabaeva. And now Putin is addressing those rumors. He said something about there being a great many women that he is linked to and Yahoo quoted him as saying, "There is a private life in which no one should interfere -- I've always had a low opinion of those with snotty noses and erotic fantasies who delve into the lives of others." Although it’s kind of mean and paints a beautiful mental picture, it’s not a denial.

And even if it were a straight-up denial, would you believe him? The guy was a KGB spy. The profession is all about lies, misdirection, and realpolitik (if there is such a thing). Puti (sic) is going to have to get up prett-y early in the morning to put one over on the old Russian media. Or just forbid them for printing stuff about his personal life. Or decapitate a few journalists as a message.

It’s weird that spies make good nonfiction writers when fiction means not true and nonfiction means true. And furthermore there are very few spies in the comedy business (notable exceptions: Austin Powers and Maxwell Smart). Which is weird because stuff that’s funny is seldom true. Because if it was, then the saying 'funny and true' wouldn't be a saying at all but more of a generally understood truism. In summary, fiction can be fun but the reference section is a bit more enlightening, Putin.

1. David and Amy's apartment.

First of all, it's not even explained what Amy does, but David makes trophies for a living. There is no way that making trophies for a living earns a giant apartment like that in Manhattan. I live in a shoebox paying $1,325 and I have a roommate that pays the same, so nothing upsets me more than when living situations in TV shows make zero sense.

3. Guys like Peter don't just give up douchey-ness.

4. Coworkers don't just hate you for no reason.

I've had lots of jobs in my life. Started from 16 and now I'm 25, and no one has ever treated me like outright s*it like they did to Dana. Clearly, her hiring is not her fault, so everyone being jerks seem really over the top. Sure, there can be sh*tty people at work, but never an entire office.

5. No one is that awkward.

In New Girl, Jess is adorably awkward, but not to the point of cringeworthy embarrassing. Those things happen to people once every few years, no one actually does something super uncomfortable every time they talk to someone.

9. Things will work out after a bad date.

10. Finding love though food poisoning.

Food poisoning is not just vomiting, there's lots of poop involved. The fact that they stayed the night any where near each other with food poisoning and still wanted to have sex the next morning is false. It's just all so very false.

11. Women judge purses on the NYC streets.

Okay, opening scene where Peter is judging women based off their looks while Dana is judging purses. First of all, I judge clothing over bags and I am often judging men on their looks too so that was a little presumptuous and stereotypical of them.

First of all, it's not even explained what Amy does, but David makes trophies for a living. There is no way that making trophies for a living earns a giant apartment like that in Manhattan. I live in a shoebox paying $1,325 and I have a roommate that pays the same, so nothing upsets me more than when living situations in TV shows make zero sense.