New services match based on favorite subreddits or taste in humor. Can it work?

Online dating profiles can sometimes be so frustratingly thorough: annoying to fill out, annoying to read, annoying to attempt to achieve the ultimate combination of accessible and mysterious. But if you can’t be bothered to list your favorite books, movies, and the six things you can never live without, alternative sources will match you for dates using the things you do anyway—browsing reddit and watching funny Internet videos.

Reddit itself is a treasure trove of redditor-created dating sites (full disclosure: reddit is a cousin site of Ars). Take for instance LaughMatch by Haon, a site posted to r/dating a few weeks ago. When users register with the site, they watch a series of funny Internet videos, like an episode of My Drunk Kitchen, a parody review of a 2000 Toyota Corolla, or a bad lip read of Twilight. The site then matches the users with dates based on where they place the rating slider between a happy and sad face.

Enlarge/ LaughMatch. Seriously, My Drunk Kitchen is a work of art, and not only would I not date you for thinking otherwise, I would challenge you to a duel in the name of Hannah Hart's honor.

Another even more simplistic site, 4.everalone by firehazard99, purports to match users based on their favorite subreddits. Users must validate with a reddit login, provide an e-mail address, and a list of your five favorite subreddits. The site’s creator then e-mails users when he finds another redditor with the same subreddit priorities.

Other redditors are just looking to improve upon the regular dating site formula. One now-defunct site, TalkOverTea by bkanber, inverted the normal profile review/messaging process by engaging two users in a virtual conversation first and slowly revealing tidbits of their profiles over the course of the conversation. This theoretically prevents daters from pre-judging each other before speaking.

New-school dating is old-school again

Real, established dating sites have a few years of history now. They have a number of success stories and positive statistics to back them up, even if those data points are more marketing ploy than science. Their comprehensive nature changes the dating landscape for a number of reasons, not least of which is the ability to screen for nonnegotiables that might fail to otherwise surface in conversation until a few dates in: religion, position on marriage, whether or not someone thinks horoscopes are for real, and so on.

The smaller niche dating sites, though, are ironically quaint. They’re far more similar to meeting someone for the first time in person, the way it was in Ye Olden Days. You say hello, make small talk, and eventually discover some common ground. You have been to and enjoy the same disco; both of your mothers were suffragettes; you went to the same 4 Non-Blondes concert; etc. Having made that connection in the seething vortex of social interaction, you ask to see each other again. It was once that simple! In a world where you can spend some idle hours decoding the meaning of someone’s OKCupid username, never mind the rest of their profile, this has some appeal.

Sites like 4.everalone reduce dating again to straightforward commonality. Maybe it’s too simple. Simplicity can make it too hard to ascertain certain info before agreeing to meet someone—that they aren't a shut-in, latent racist, or have a bedroom that contains Darth Vader sheets and Beastmaster posters. And, we hate to say it, but the sites are possibly unsafe and possibly ineffective.

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Casey Johnston
Casey Johnston is the former Culture Editor at Ars Technica, and now does the occasional freelance story. She graduated from Columbia University with a degree in Applied Physics. Twitter@caseyjohnston

51 Reader Comments

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

[edit] Edited for actually content... Previous post was in poor taste and I keep on forgetting the front page isn't The Lounge.

Anyway... not being a Reddit user, how exactly are these new services setup to help find matches in your local geographic area? I've only used OKCupid and I find that finding matches in my area is kind of difficult. Then again, I live in college town in a rural area (i.e., my county and the next combined have a combined population of < 250,000). There are lots of college students that are too young/immature for my tastes and everybody else is older/elderly. For somebody like me in my early 30s, most everyone my age that have decided to stay in the area as opposed to leave for greener pastures are already starting families of their own.

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

I posit that's because folks your age tend to be kids thinking they can find things "the right way" and also tend to be less settled in their ways as of yet. They also have many more peers who are still single. Heck, I know a lot of single ladies (though I am not) now, but they're all half my age and daughters of clients. No way in hell I'd date any of them if I were single, you know?

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

Funny, when I was online dating it seemed all the folks were under 25... and insisting you never tell anyone where you met. Which was frustrating if you had no intention of dating men 15+ years younger than you.

My good friend met her husband on a dating site (eharmony I think). She's now in her 30s, but was in in her 20s at the time. She was a great catch, and had no problem finding dates the traditional way, but couldn't find the right guy. We (the inner circle) all approve of their current matchup.

My other good friend (in his 30s) tried to meet somebody (anybody) through eharmony and failed miserably. He is now married (nobody in the wedding party on either side thought it was a good idea). He has issues and is not the best catch. Neither is she.

So my limited observational understanding of these sites is that they help get people who could get dates, if they put in the effort, dates. They fail to find dates for people who can't get dates. Surprise!

A few months back I kicked out the Mrs. after 15 years of on-off rollercoaster. After a little while I hit the dating sites. Hours and hours and hours of tedious drawn out back and forth led to a couple of dates. Struck up a conversation with a single mum at my kid's school and found one thing we had in common - the frustrations of online dating. Now we're together. One way online dating can work?

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

That was my impression as well. 30+ people have a job, often kids from a failed marriage, or just generally more responsibilities and less time. Dating sites appeal to somebody without a lot of time by letting them quickly and easily filter out the wheat from the chaff without having to go through a few dates first.

College age people (or recently out of college) are used to being in a target rich environment, so they probably wouldn't even think of using a dating site.

[edit] Edited for actually content... Previous post was in poor taste and I keep on forgetting the front page isn't The Lounge.

Anyway... not being a Reddit user, how exactly are these new services setup to help find matches in your local geographic area? I've only used OKCupid and I find that finding matches in my area is kind of difficult. Then again, I live in college town in a rural area (i.e., my county and the next combined have a combined population of < 250,000). There are lots of college students that are too young/immature for my tastes and everybody else is older/elderly. For somebody like me in my early 30s, most everyone my age that have decided to stay in the area as opposed to leave for greener pastures are already starting families of their own.

When I was younger I did all my dating in IRC, we'd meet up in a chat room, then meet together in real life and then from there. None of us had an issue with where we met because in those days, if you were in IRC you were probably in the university or worked for some IT related field.

Today, I'll take anything I can get. I work 100+ hours a week, it is not like I can go to a club or party, usually my days off are to catch up on work at home or shopping and resting.

Whats wrong with being a shutin? I mean, not talking phobia style but...I don't need to go out to have a good time. Then again, isn't that at least part of these apps in the first place? I don't get out, spend a lot of time at the PC, so why not let my fingers do the walking? Or dating in this case?

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

I met my now-wife online dating when I was 24, and she was 20. My dad met my step-mother online dating when he was 48, and she was 50. Seems to cross all generations.

From my experiences and I can say this, any average guys and girls who do not need online dating services to find dates and if you do, you have some problems. Admit it, please.

Whoa. Back when I was online dating, I could press a few buttons, and instantly be presented with 500 girls my age who are single and interested in finding a boyfriend. Please, show me where "in real life" I can find that.

One who only need one or may be two to start out with. Three may be a crowd. There''s only 24 hours in a day you know. And if one who have the time to maneuver with more than two and I can say this he/she is a swinger who's looking for a one night stand. (Excuse me for making such conclusion. But I am sincere.) Yes, you could find 500 or thousand matches online easily than real life. But why would you? When you've no trouble to find your dream guy/girl in real life? But of course assuming you're an average looking, average educated, just average of anything one could think of. Average..

One who only need one or may be two to start out with. Three may be a crowd. There''s only 24 hours in a day you know. And if one who have the time to maneuver with more than two and I can say this he/she is a swinger who's looking for a one night stand. (Excuse me for making such conclusion. But I am sincere.) Yes, you could find 500 or thousand matches online easily than real life. But why would you? When you've no trouble to find your dream guy/girl in real life? But of course assuming you're an average looking, average educated, just average of anything one could think of. Average..

I see how two isn't one and three is sometimes four, but onetimes twice it isn't, see? Sometimes more hours of a day are than that. There is can't doesn't some once, but two? I think not. You doesn't three, but sometimes one. Eight, but four. I apologize for being so forward but, six. Then sometimes five.

Also, do you have any crack cocaine left, or did you smoke the entire nation's supply?

From my experiences and I can say this, any average guys and girls who do not need online dating services to find dates and if you do, you have some problems. Admit it, please.

Whoa. Back when I was online dating, I could press a few buttons, and instantly be presented with 500 girls my age who are single and interested in finding a boyfriend. Please, show me where "in real life" I can find that.

When at a concert, go up on stage and ask, "will any single girls go out with a single guy, age [*MUMBLE*]", and watch the offers flood in.

I see how two isn't one and three is sometimes four, but onetimes twice it isn't, see? Sometimes more hours of a day are than that. There is can't doesn't some once, but two? I think not. You doesn't three, but sometimes one. Eight, but four. I apologize for being so forward but, six. Then sometimes five.

I'm gay, so online dating serves a very useful purpose - it helps me find guys who're interested in dating other guys, something which is very hard in meatspace. Especially since I just don't seem to meet many gay men during my usual activities.

Either that or my gaydar's faulty.

That said, once you've found the gay men online you then have to filter out the ones who're only interested in casual sex. And people wonder why HIV infection rates in the UK are so high among gay men...

I really don't get a choice in the matter, I signed a contract so until it is over, I am pretty mucha dull boy.

Now, I've found that usually for the most part, people at work in my position have had luck with online dating, but it is not the end all be all. If they can have a text conversation online, they usually kick it up a notch and go out and then go from there. But we are a very geeky and overworked crowd.

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

It is your social circle. I met my Fiance online 6 years ago when I was 27 and she was 24. Its just easier for some of us introverts.

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

Funny, when I was online dating it seemed all the folks were under 25... and insisting you never tell anyone where you met. Which was frustrating if you had no intention of dating men 15+ years younger than you.

(And yeah, that's how I met my boyfriend. And we admit it.)

I am a geek/nerd whatever. We freely admit that we met online, because its awesome.

From my experiences and I can say this, any average guys and girls who do not need online dating services to find dates and if you do, you have some problems. Admit it, please.

Whoa. Back when I was online dating, I could press a few buttons, and instantly be presented with 500 girls my age who are single and interested in finding a boyfriend. Please, show me where "in real life" I can find that.

Also, for me personally, I am an introvert. I have no problem with conversation with someone I know, or am introduced to, but I was deathly afraid of approaching a stranger cold, and my friends were useless at setting me up. Online dating saved me, and now I am with a most wonderful person.

As always, online dating is useful for meeting people you wouldn't normally meet. I am always surprised by the really high number of social circles that I meet that are interested in the same things, even in close proximity to each other, that would never interact except through happenstance.

It's also curious to see shut-in tossed in with trying to meet people via similar reddits. Yes, I understand OkCupid is an arcane art, but as far as I can tell so is dating. Gaming, board games, video games, reading, and generally being an Internet type of person means that you typically won't be as interested in being out socially to meet people. When your activities primarily keep you online, you're going to look like a shut in. Doesn't mean you aren't an interesting person...

Bah, we're all here conversing in an online forum... I don't think I need to keep beating that horse to death.

I only go grocery shopping when I'm hungry, and never operate any machinery heavier than a motorcycle while on medication. Maybe there's some meataphor in there that covers the tiny range of the human condition between "love*" and "make love".

*A word which in itself is a conspiracy of dictionary makers fluffing up their page count.

Some of us are work-oriented. I'm not at 100+ hours (any more), but justifying time at a bar on a weekend to meet random women is a difficult sell. These days it's either internet-facilitated dating or friends/family trying to set me up. The latter can be awkward for me since most of my friends/family are liberal and my job is, well, considered the height of evil by some of that inclination. "So why did you take your job?" is a common question for a first date; it's a tough one to answer because the honest answer can be a real problem for some people to accept.

I'm not above last call roulette hook-ups, of course, but that's generally not relationship material.

People making statements about those who use online dating being somehow failures need to shut the fuck up. Some people are great at getting dates "in the real world" but end up with people who don't work for them. Online dating provides not only a willing audience of matches (no "I have a boyfriend" to deal with), but also filters for personality traits that will clearly annoy you.

I speak as someone who met his wife of 8 years in a bar 11 years ago. This was likely because back when I was trying online dating, it was still in it's infancy and only tried by the desperate. I'd love to be dating now with the options available for finding dates, which simply weren't there back in the day. (Note I'm very happily married, so this is no comment on my wife!)

Some of us are work-oriented. I'm not at 100+ hours (any more), but justifying time at a bar on a weekend to meet random women is a difficult sell. These days it's either internet-facilitated dating or friends/family trying to set me up. The latter can be awkward for me since most of my friends/family are liberal and my job is, well, considered the height of evil by some of that inclination. "So why did you take your job?" is a common question for a first date; it's a tough one to answer because the honest answer can be a real problem for some people to accept.

I'm not above last call roulette hook-ups, of course, but that's generally not relationship material.

You can be married to your job or a MOTAS, not both. Nobody's going to want to stick with someone who works so much because they will never /see/ you and they'll clearly not be important enough to you.

Then again, perhaps this is the current generation’s variety of tools for experimentation. Our parents had Studio 54, swinging parties, and cocaine. We have the Internet, cat videos, and reddit.

Everyone I know who has ever met anyone on a dating website is in the "Studio 54" (what is that?), swinging parties and cocaine generation. Some of them have been happily married for years after meeting online, so it does seem to work.

I only know one person my age (24) who has ever used an online dating service. I guess it could just be my social circle, but my impression is it's older people who are using them.

That's my memory as well. It's probably different for guy profiles, but most females online are 30 and up and the few that aren't usually don't stay on those services long before they abandon their profiles.

Here are a few comparisons:OkCupid >Pros : free, plenty of profilesCons : You get what you pay for, most people on there are broke, no shortage of over weight females (only a con if that's a turn off for you), women under 30 are elusive, some profiles are scams

Match.com >Pros : tons of profiles, most people on there have good jobs and education, most people on there are serious about relationshipsCons : costs a lot, lots of inactive profiles, women under 30 are elusive

MeetUp.com >Pros : you actually get to meet face to face on the first day, sometimes it's freeCons : you'll likely pay for each event, you have to leave the house (I know, horrible right...), women under 30 are even *more* elusive, expect plenty of sausage fests, don't assume everyone's single

ThingsToDoDC.com >Pros : you actually get to meet face to face on the first dayCons : You have to pay for every event and they are expensive, you have to leave the house (I know, horrible right...), women under 30 are even *more* elusive, expect plenty of sausage fests, don't assume everyone's single

Regardless, when it comes to online dating you most likely want your pictures to make you look fun, successful, and stylish. Pictures are critical because most people don't read and most profiles are horribly written. Get professional photo's if you can and if you're straight guy, get a good wardrobe. Also, people who are in happy relationships get more attention from singles, it would behoove you to pick up on their behavioral traits. Act happy and satisfied.