31.12.16

This bilge was on the Facebook thingy; thought I'd give it a go at answering:

Twenty five questions for Brexiteers to answer (okay I'll give it a go then):

1. Have you seen a Brexit plan?

No for precisely the same reasons the other negotiating parties haven't; giving away your negotiating tactics early is to undermine their effectiveness.

2. Remind me, what does Brexit mean?

Brexit means British Exit from the European Union: a severing of political ties from Europe that don't have the oversight of our own elected officials who we can hire and fire if those political ties displease us, not who shrug and say "it's an EU competency init'?

3. What’s your problem with parliament?

They got us into the EU and denied us a say on its current makeup and direction for 40 bloody years; it used the tools and arguements it is now saying don't apply to article 50 for both implementation of Lisbon and Maastricht and thus has proven mendacious and inconsistent enough to exclude itself from the process and likely the long term running of this country; I expect that 2020 will see the biggest drumming out of parliamentarians ever.

4. Do you know what the odds of winning in a game of 27 to 1 are?

You've just stated them, which is lucky given that Brexit isn't. A. Fucking. Game. Cretin.

Beside this is hardly what you were saying before the referendum was it? I thought many countries arguing as one was good for trade negotiations and the like?

5. What’s great about being out on your own?

I'm trying desperately to determine a more polite way of saying "you dense ponce" but am struggling so ho hum.

I think I'll just settle with saying that Brexit was never an argument for isolation; literally no one, not one single Brexiteer to adopt your vernacular, said this - we envisioned a wider world of influence and trade. This isolationist ad hominen was frequently used by remain'derps I met though.

6. Tell me precisely which EU regulations you want to get rid of?

I believe part of this Brexit plan we haven't seen yet is to appropriate the entirety of the acquis communautaire into the national legislative book and work backwards - shedding the unwanted through parliamentary processes rather than government fiat (you now, respect for parliament and all).

Personally though I'd start with the Working Time Directive; from a personal experuence it's implementation led to me ultimately quitting a job due to worsening conditions and benefits.

7. Have you seen that £350 million a week bonus yet?

No - because we haven't left yet, Dipshit.

8. Precisely what control have you got back?

None, yet - because we haven't left yet, Dipshit.

9. Are you expecting two million UK nationals living in the EU to return home soon?

No - simply put I feel Theresa May will work something out that will bypass much of the hyperbole from both sides; however, expelling UK nationals who have settled from EU countries will be breaking international law.

10. How are you going to decide who you’re sending home?

We aren't sending anyone home, just controlling who arrives once we leave; likely all who are currently here (including my current boss) will be allowed to stay. Afterwards there will likely be some kind of vetting or points system put in place like every other developed non-EU country on this rock.

11. Do you know what someone who is forced to leave the country where they live is called?

Yes: unwelcome. It is unlikely that those willing to pull their own weight and behave themselves will be made to feel unwelcome here as has always been the case since long before we were a part of a political union with Europe, or do you forget we were once the biggest empire on earth with multiple ties to people's all over it?

12. How are you going to make sure the NHS has the nurses it needs when we impose migration controls in 2019?

Do you not understand how a points system works or are you being deliberately facetious?

13. Which UK universities are you happy to see go bust because of a shortage of EU students?

Again noone is saying we close our borders except remain'derps, merely control them. Change the fucking record already.

14. Do you know who picks most of the UK’s fruit and veg? Who do you think will be doing so in the future?

I thought EU migrants were all nurses and doctors? In any case again see above about controlling not closing the borders. Wouldn't hurt to see a few kids round my local council estate picking lettuces; character building.

15. Why are you so keen to deny our young people the chance to live, learn and work abroad?

I know, it's terrible; we've no political union with Africa which stop our kids taking gap years building orphanages nor with Thailand nor South Korea which stopped some family members living and working in both countries for several years till recently when they moved back.

Oh wait, it didn't and doesn't. Knob head.

16. The EU was intended to prevent war ever happening again in Europe. How does leaving help that? What’s the plan?

Have you not been paying attention to the news nor recent history? ISIS insurgency and lone Wolf attacks throughout? The Taharrush "rape game" at the heart of mass assaults throughout Europe? The Yugoslav war? The fact that the EU is still technically at war with several countries in Africa both actively (Libya) and in-actively (Chad)? How about fomenting war with Russia by its actions in the Ukraine?

17. How is increased paperwork for every single import and export going to save British business money?

Again without knowing the precise details of the deal negotiated there is little point in discussing; as an aside though several non-EU countries have mutual recognition of standards for multiple products, Saudi Arabia being just one; nor should we forget that the WTO Uruguay round accord saw an agreement of all signatories to reduce non-tariff barriers like these by making them globally recognised.

18. How precisely will we be better off when we have to pay tariffs on most things we import?

First of all failing a trade deal why would we raise tariffs on imports? It's exports we'd have a problem with, tariffs being raised abroad.

Second it would only be imports from the EU; we are already in a trade deficit and with a rapidly collapsing proportion of our imports coming from the EU I can't see how this will remain a problem except for EU exporters if we suddenly did decide to raise tariffs.

Third, WTO rules state tariffs for most things are limited, no doubt meaning business could be easily compensated.

19. We import more than we export. How are we going to win from tariffs?

No one wins from tariffs (free markets 101), but if you can direct me to a quote by anyone in a position of power saying we will raise tariffs on imports you let me know.

20. How are the 30,000 new civil servants working on Brexit cutting red tape?

I was shocked I tell you, shocked, that the civil service union announced it'd need more staff for...I'm sorry what was it this time?

21. Did you want to encourage Northern Ireland and Scotland to leave the UK?

I'd be willing to put a bet on Scotland not leaving; as for Northern Ireland? Who knows and who cares; remarkably expensive white elephant which I'd be happy to see reunite with Southern Ireland; it'd be like Eastern and Western Germany reuniting: we were all very happy for them but East Germany had a huge shock of culture and funding to them. Don't see it happening to be honest.

22. When the City is based in Frankfurt where will you find replacement tax revenues?

Dunno, it'll be fun to find out though won't it? Other thing that are fun to find out: The maximum distance a flying pig can cover unladen; the resting temperature of hell post-freeze.

23. Did you want the UK to be a tax haven with no chance if you benefitting?

Yes because I don't want to benefit from government largesse at the parasitical teat of big business; I want the opportunities that attracting big business and new medium and small enterprises offers.

24. What is it that the Australians are going to buy more of from the UK?

Dunno - let's ask them, and Africa, and China, and America, and Canada, and New Zealand and every other country we have limited trade with.

25. Where are you going on holiday next year? Expecting a warm welcome?

Personally I think this is why Remain failed; you whinged and whinged about how difficult it was to travel but never stopped to think that still for many of us international travel, heck, plane travel of any kind, is still a luxury most people cannot afford.

This year marked the first we've been on an airplane as a family of 4; we went to Bulgaria. We were made very welcome. I resent the implication I should feel ashamed of voting Leave because you might find the very low likelihood of a little more paperwork inconvenient to you and Jontey when you fuck off to the French Alps for some skiing whilst I know of friends and family who struggle to make rent.

That above all else is why you fail; a profound lack of self-awareness.