Jack Chick is a mysterious, reclusive artist who has dominated the “scare you silly” genre of gospel tracts. These tracts have been popular because, theoretically, people tend to read them for the illustrated stories and then end up saved as a result.

In reality, the main purpose of these tracts is to keep fundy children lying awake at night on the lookout for demons that might be sneaking into their room to make make them gay or (worse yet) tempt them to play Dungeons & Dragons games.

There are many life lessons to be learned from Chick Tracts. Hurricane Katrina was caused by America not supporting Israel. Stories about the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause make kids not believe in Jesus. Halloween candy contains deadly razor blades and poison placed by witches to want to make kids into human sacrifices.

How could the scores of check-out clerks, gas station attendants, and waitresses who receive these little gems possibly avoid being saved after reading such tales?