Because I Respect Others' Privacy (even if they don't respect my own), I didn't open the knapsack. I can only imagine what must be inside -- binoculars, GPS tracking devices, night vision goggles, cameras disguised like cigarette lighters, and, of course, Quaker Chewy Chocolate Chunk granola bars.

No stakeout is complete without granola bars.

Also, I had no idea Matthew was a Trekkie! That's serious dedication on his boogie board. Though, as I live several hours away from the ocean, I'm somewhat perplexed. Is the board for something innocent, like sledding down my roof? Or is it for something dangerous? Because I think he might be planning to use it as a battle shield.

BECAUSE LOOK WHAT ELSE I FOUND:

WEAPONS!!!

Mysterious black fighting sticks!

WHAT ARE THEY FOR? WHAT DO THEY DO??

Is this the face of a ninja?

I tried to warn my husband and Chris Martin, but they just rolled their eyes. Actually, Jarrod rolled his eyes, but Chris didn't even hear me. He just hunched further over my piano, trying to work out the kinks of this new song. He's trying to finish it before Thom Yorke arrives. Thom promised us a visit this April, and as the month is almost over, Chris has gotten paranoid.

CHRIS: Have you checked your email today? Your voice mail? The regular mail? Maybe we should call the airport, in case he arrived and got lost--

ME: He knows where we live.

CHRIS: Any texts?

ME: He'll come when he wants to come. You can't force Thom to do anything; you know that's a part of his charm.

CHRIS: [tinkering on piano again] What do you think about these chords? It doesn't sound too much like "Karma Police," does it?

JARROD: It sounds exactly like "Karma Police."

CHRIS: [stops playing] Have you checked your email today?

JARROD: Yeah, after the last time you asked. [Points to piano keys] What about those instead, at that part after the bridge?

CHRIS: [plays] Ooo, that's lovely. What do you think about this--

ME: Did you two even hear what I said?! MR. DARCY IS A NINJA.

But they were already deep in musician mode, so I was forced to continue investigations alone. I went back outside to the abandoned weeping cherry tree. And there, underneath the knapsack, I made a new discovery.

A stack of cryptic messages.

A stack of cryptic messages about pie.

Pardon the quality of the following photographs. I had to take them all quickly and stealth-like:

Don't Banish the Pie!

ME: That's odd. I don't remember banishing the pie.

Pie! Love Pie!

ME: Wait. Does Matthew love pie, or is he signing this message AS pie?

SAVE the Pie

ME: IS MATTHEW IN DANGER???

Pie! Eat more Pie! Pie! I eat Pie! save the pie

ME: What?? Does he want to eat it or save it??? WHAT PIE?????

And then it hit me.

Pie = The Pie Maker.

Lee Pace is involved!

Innocent pie maker or ninja-in-training?

But if Lee Pace is the Pie, is he in danger? And if so, from whom? Matthew? Is Matthew trying to banish the Pie or save it? And whom are the message for? Each other? Jarrod and Chris?

14 comments:

Stephenie, I know we only talked for like a minuet. But as I read your blog I am amazed at what we have in common...See my sister Debbie's post (the red head) about our pie night we just had. http://debsfreckles.blogspot.com/2009/04/pie-night.html

Also please tell me you have watched Chris on the british tv show Extrashttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJmtJGPd7Qk

Connie -- I looooove his bit on Extras! (In other words, YES! I've watched it many times. Tee hee.)

Mariah -- Muscle massager?? Intriguing. Me likey the sound of where this is heading.

Laini -- I did, indeedy. And I'm eagerly awaiting more.

Beth -- Please pass this message on to Lee: Pie bribes are DEFINITELY a way to achieve Official Boyfriend status. (Strawberry rhubarb is my favorite, but cherry is also acceptable.)

Jessie -- I'm sure he'd be happy to lend you his night vision goggles. And thank you ;)

Mimilee -- What a happy surprise to find you here! Thanks so much & welcome to my blog!

Lexi -- I LOVE the idea of charging pie for rent. Right now, the Boyfriends chip in with household chores. It does get crowded sometimes, but it's really not too bad. I have lots of bunk beds, PLUS the only permanent resident is Chris. The other dozen or so rotate. They visit whenever we both have free time.

Hi, there! I'm Steph, and I wrote ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS, LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR, and ISLA AND THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I also edited the romantic holiday anthology MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME and the upcoming SUMMER DAYS & SUMMER NIGHTS.