Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the
symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription
is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with
secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the
"Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating
in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic
Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages,
including our "How is HIV
Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A
Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to
all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I
Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account
to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding
and future support of the best online support service for people living with,
affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author
Topic: Reassurance - don't know what to do (Read 3574 times)

I am so glad I found this web-site - it has given me some assurance but I was wondering if I could share my encounter with you and see if you think I should get a HIV test: -

At the beginning of April I was on a stag do in another country with 5 friends. I paid for sex with 2 girls and one of them gave me oral sex without a condom. I had protected vaginal sex with both of them (using Durex Extra Safe condoms) and condoms didn't break/tear at all.

When I got back I started worrying myself to death that I caught something - I started getting burning sensations in my groin area and discomfort when peeing. 3 weeks after the incidents I plucked up the courage to go to my local GUM clinic as I was going insane with worry and didn't know if I was imagining a lot of the stuff that was happening. Waiting in the GUM clinic was the most scariest period of my life. They did the usual suite of tests for Herpes, gonorrhea, clamidyia etc and recommended that I have HIV/Syphilis/Hepatitis blood test. When I went in for my blood test the guy says that I don't have any STI's from the initial swabs taken - he said I would get conclusive results in a few weeks. At this point I declined the blood test. I spoke to the health advisor there and she said if I did a blood test after 3 weeks I would have to come back after 3 months to re-test. I then decided to go back in 3 months to get the test done. She also said my chances of getting HIV were practically zero and should do the test for piece of mind.

Anyway after 6 weeks i get my results that I'm all clear from initial swab tests and I'm very relieved. However I started to think about HIV/Hepatitis/Syphilis etc and I am constantly looking at my body for any signs. I have not any major signs of symptoms - I did get a night of shivering about 6 weeks after the incidents but it went the next day. I did notice itching of my skin around this time but that seems to have gone as well.

What I want to know is if it's worth going back for the HIV test next month as that will be 3 months after my encounters. I have a wife who is pregnant and I don't want to pass anything to her. She was the only person I slept with until 2 months ago.

What are the chances that I could have HIV? I'm scared of taking the test in case it's positive but at the same time I want some closure on this stupid episode of my life.

I've read that unprotected oral sex is no risk on here but the GUM clinic said that it is possible to transmit this way.

Please help put my mind at rest. I have not had sex with my wife since the incident and am sleeping in the spare room partly due to her pregnancy and also the fact that I don't want to pass anything to her. I know it's stupid but at some stage she is going to question the changes in my behaviour.

The Health Advisor said that the fact I didn't have any STI's meant that HIV was unlikely. She said that HIV normally came on the back of other infections. Can you guys tell me if this a true statement in your personal experiences

The most important thing is that you had protected intercourse. As long as you are certain about that then HIV is not an issue for you. Condoms provide very effective protection as far as HIV is concerned.

Receiving a blowjob is not a risk for getting HIV. (Read the lesson on this site about transmission for further details on that and more). There has never been a documented case of transmission in this manner and you aren't going to be the first.

Given the results of your various tests, happily you seem to have lucked out as far as other possible STDs as well.

Your concern with regard to your wife is certainly understandable. I don't see any need for further HIV testing unless you feel you need the gold seal of another negative test result to put the issue to rest for you. I certainly expect you will continue to test negative.

If you're feeling guilty about having strayed, well you're just a dog like the rest of us and you can't undo that bit of your personal history. Take a breath, let it go and get on with your life.

Thanks for drawing that slip on my part to my attention. I have corrected it. Receiving a blowjob is absolutely not a risk.

My apologies for that confusion.

As far as I am concerned you don't need to test for HIV. However, I am not living in your shoes and if you need the inevitable negative test result to put your mind at ease, then by all means get tested. I'm confident you will test negative but sometimes having the result in hand is necessary to close the matter.

Over the last few days I've been getting more and more stressed about my situation. I think I'm going insane with worry partly because the 3 month window period is coming up and it will be time to test and also I keep thinking I'm infected with HIV.

Over the last 2 or 3 weeks I have noticed little red blood spots on my arms and a few on my stomach (they're pin sized). They're not bruised or anything and I seem to notice more of them appearing. I have searched the Internet for possible causes and some sites say it's broken blood vessels and is natural whilst some say it's down to stress/duress. I have experienced itchy skin but I don't know if my mind is causing me to make more of it than it is.

Please help as I am literally falling to pieces. I've been going through my situation and looking at all the ways I could have been infected. I keep thinking about whether the condoms broke even though I know they were intact, whether the oral sex may have infected me etc.

There's another 4 weeks until the 13 week window has past and it seems like an eternity - I wish I had done the blood tests when offered in the first place. The GUM clinic said I was free from all other STI's so decided not to go ahead with blood work.

What are the chances of me having HIV when I didn't get any other STI's? Every day I check my body for any other signs and I'm scaring the crap out of myself. Every new spot, strange marking and my mind goes into overdrive again.

Nothing has changed since the previous exchanges. You were not at risk for HIV because you didn't do anything risky. How many times do you have to be told that condoms do their job every effectively? None of the other activities were risky as far as HIV is concerned.

So your mind may continue working in overdrive with irrational thoughts. They have no basis in HIV science of course.

You need to concentrate on staying productively busy and the remaining weeks can pass more easily than you imagine at this moment. There's really nothing more we can tell you. You have to start helping yourself now to get on with your life. If you can't do that then I suggest you see therapist or other similar professional to discuss the emotional aspects of what's going on.

This is not an HIV situation so don't waste any effort in trying to convince us otherwise.

Just thought I'd give you an update on my situation. I have just come back from my 13 week blood test and will know the results next week. Spoke to the Health Advisor and she thinks I will come through negative. Fingers crossed eh?

If I pass negative would you consider that conclusive - my exposure was Sunday 2nd April 2006?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I have just got off the phone to the GUM clinic and my results for Hep B and HIV have come back................negative. Test results for Syphilis have not come back yet but that was a pretty quick turnaround (7 days).

Hands are still shaking even now when I'm typing this - the wait for her to pull up my file was excruciatingly painful.

I would like to thank all you guys on this forum who have given me such sound advice through this crazy period of my life. Without your guidance I don't think I could have coped with the anxiety.

To everyone with fears about infection, please listen to the expert advice given by the wonderful people on this forum.

One last question before I go. Before I resume any sexual contact with my wife would it be prudent just to double-check my status with another test or can I take this negative result as gospel?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts