Hmm... Well, this story isn't attracting a lot but at least you're trying. You don't need to stick to teh exact script, and maybe you should get a beta reader. :/ I would offer to be yours for this story but I'm not even eligible to become one yet. Anyways, backt to the review. I think this story has a lot of potential. Whenever you're ready, you should post the next chapter and try to flesh out Magnus' personality a little more. Like ask yourself, what is he going through? What are his thoughts and feelings, stuff like that. I'm sorry if I seem a bit pushy but I'm a big fan of the Ogre Battle series and Ogre battle 64 is my personal favorite since that was my first introduction to the series, and it's kind special to me in that way. So if you want, maybe I could use my other account to be your beta reader. :) In case your interested, my other account on here is Asakane Kotoro.

Nice work! I'm glad to see someone else getting involved in bringing this unsung series to life, and Person of Lordly Caliber was my second favorite of them. I found the cast of characters to be a useful way of reminding which narratives to try and keep in focus when your story is meandering around. Hope to see more soon.