Don't miss your chance. You can buy a wonderful washing machine now. This washing machine will destroy your clothes and needs to be cleaned every 2 hours. You can buy it at the nearest dollar store now for $600. Plus, if you call now, we promise we won't install it for free.

Side effects include: Rising temper problems, rash, headaches, and the occasional yelling at the couch for no reason. Ask your nearest stupid person if this washing machine is right for you. If they say no, they're not stupid.

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