Comments on: On Loving While Younghttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/10/relationship-advice-and-young-people/
Weddings. Minus the insanity, plus the marriage.Tue, 03 Mar 2015 22:19:00 -0800hourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.1By: Catherinehttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/10/relationship-advice-and-young-people/#comment-149954
Sun, 17 Feb 2013 01:57:53 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-149954oh my gosh!! I am just not seeing this and can i just AMEN this a lot! Wow, yes, I am in a very similar situation. I did not plan on marrying young, or knowing I wanted to be married young, or meeting someone older than me at age 20. My whole life I was never into dating or boys (well there was a reason for that one!) I was always more focused on my career and just figured I would meet the one and that would be it. I’m a very black and white person and wouldn’t want to spend energy or effort into a relationship that I wasn’t sure of, so casual stuff never interested me. I’ve been with my SO for two years now, and have a wonderful grounded foundation that only supports and embraces my career ambitions. I’ve gotten a lot of “opinions” from my mother, very similar to what you mentioned. and I totally LOVED your last quote about only trust people’s opinions with lives you would want to lead. My parents have nothing like the kind of relationship I want, they barely have a relationship at all, and it has always frustrated me that my mom is so comfortable scolding my life choices..
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Sun, 17 Feb 2013 01:48:37 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-149953Just seeing this, and yes, same here. I was never into dating or anything because I only wanted THE ONE and was always focused on my career (even as a kid ha). I met my love at 20, she is a bit older than me, and we have been inseparable ever since. I too sometimes feel guilty and have to fight those feelings of “this is too good to be true! how can my first real relationship be my life partner?!” can i really have it that good? I just have to trust what we have together and not let external narratives play in my head. love is beautiful and rare and you should be able to enjoy and respect it ! Hopefully others will too!
]]>By: enchantedhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/10/relationship-advice-and-young-people/#comment-137565
Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:07:57 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-137565This conversation is so interesting!

My question to you all is slightly off topic but related (about the effects of negative perceptions of young relationships).

What do you do when you have been in a relationship since just after high school (7 years, half long distance, half living together), but you’ve internalized these ideas of about first relationships and find it hard to commit? Has anyone else been in that situation? I love my partner, love spending time with him, love living with him, etc etc. But there’s always this question in the back of my mind, “how will I know if he’s really the person for me if he’s the only one I’ve ever been with”? It’s hard to tell if these doubts come from myself or from others.

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Fri, 02 Nov 2012 20:51:47 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134574” have been in serious, stable relationships since they were 15-19 years old. Many of these are now speeding towards marriage in the next year. It’s funny, because all of the “kids” have been sure of their relationships from the get-go, but the adults are just now getting on board.”
That would be us! We’re hoping to get married pretty soon (maybe next year? we think so), and in addition to getting to the point where we were ready to get married now, rather than say we are getting married someday, I will admit that part of our process has been coming to a point where a) I’m sure that we are ready regardless of what our parents think of our age and b) that we are closer to the socially acceptable age for marriage in our social circles and thus my parents are more comfortable with us getting married. They are starting (I hope) to get used to the idea that we will be marrying soon, but they have in the past couple years gotten used to that we WILL marry someday. Took them years longer to accept this than for us to realize it.
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Wed, 31 Oct 2012 21:29:47 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134151Reading everyone’s stories, I feel incredibly lucky. Both my parents and my fiance’s parents are high school sweethearts, so neither of them batted an eye when we started dating at 15 and got engaged at 22. In fact, my father told me when I was 17 that he expected me to marry “that boy” someday and I was emphatically told by my future MIL that I could stay the night whenever I wanted around 18.

However, I will admit to having a huge freakout about 7 months into dating, because I was completely convinced that a) I was totally head over heels in love with this boy and b) that I was way to young to know what I was talking about. Eventually I got over it, but I was afraid of being in love too young, even though I had nothing but support around me. Just goes to show that teens really do pick up on things subconsciously.

]]>By: Miss Moneypennyhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/10/relationship-advice-and-young-people/#comment-134114
Wed, 31 Oct 2012 18:14:14 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134114Thank you so much for this post. My youngest brother is in his senior year of high school and the last time I talked to my mother, she mentioned that he had a new girlfriend that he was serious about. I laughed and told my mother “How serious can it be? He’s not even 18!” This post really challenged my assumptions about young love and this is why I keep returning to APW and RW :) I’ll be calling my brother tonight to congratulate him on his new relationship and make sure he knows that I’m in his corner.
]]>By: karihttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/10/relationship-advice-and-young-people/#comment-134089
Wed, 31 Oct 2012 15:46:53 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134089I made a point recently to tell my stepson (he’s 13) that I would NEVER tease him about any relationships – friends, girlfriends, romantic, heck, BOYFRIENDS, whatever.

My husband (their dad) told him the same thing. It was awkward and 13 was uncomfortable, but I badly want 13 to know he can stay open with us and doesn’t have to worry about OUR reactions to this very normal part of his life.

I also told him that I think adults who have to joke and tease about this kind of thing are boring, uncreative, and sometimes a little creepy.

And as a stepmom to two boys I find that I do have a few blunt and awkward conversations with them every year but for us, it’s much easier to just get it all out there. boys can be subtle, but not very self-aware. there’s no point in beating around the bush hoping that they will eventually pick up on your cues. just lay it out there “like a dude.”

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Wed, 31 Oct 2012 14:46:18 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134068I think this post and its comments should be required reading for anyone who ever got into a relationship while “young.” I was extremely fortunate that my parents treated all of my relationships (started going out when I was 13, met my fh at 14, started dating him at 15/16) while some of my friends and companions were definitely not as lucky.

I live in a large Southern city, but my area of town has a small-town vibe where everyone knows each other. It just so happened that many of the kids in my school-age range, so 2-3 years above and below me, have been in serious, stable relationships since they were 15-19 years old. Many of these are now speeding towards marriage in the next year. It’s funny, because all of the “kids” have been sure of their relationships from the get-go, but the adults are just now getting on board.

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Wed, 31 Oct 2012 13:07:28 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134045Wonderful post and truly thought provoking. I have to admit I have been guilty of devaluing other youth relationships which is an absolute hypocrisy given how young I am (ehem .. 24) and how much flack I took for getting married at 23. Thank you for shedding some light on this and making me rethink how I’ve approached other people’s relationships!!
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Wed, 31 Oct 2012 03:45:20 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/on-loving-while-young/#comment-134012I love this whole post. While I broke up with my high-school-into-college-freshman boyfriend because it was, in fact, a very bad relationship, I think that this topic is so, so important.

I honestly think that the reason I was able to leave that toxic relationship (however belatedly) was because of the adults who talked to me like I was an adult in a meaningful partnership. Those who completely devalued it made me feel like crap (stupid, naive, foolish…) and didn’t actually give me any real help. Those who glossed over everything and acted like everything was lighthearted and fun because we were young were just as bad. When adults that I really respected talked to me in real terms about what a true partnership should look like without judging me… that’s when lightbulbs and warning bells started to go off.