New here: preschooler tantrums

Wanted to do two separate posts, but I'm posting via phone and wouldn't want to torture anyone with too many resulting typos!

To be brief, our dd has been throwing crying fits whenever she doesn't want to obey. It's wearisome,and it certainly is jarring to the moments of laughter and sweetness that we're more used to. Preparation before transitions help sometimes. We do time outs, repetition, and 1-2 swats on the bottom or thigh, depending on the situation. At bedtime, like now, I may just repeat myself and let her cry until she realizes she's not going to get her way. She's 29 months and very verbal w/ ever-growing negotiating skills, too. So, is this just par for the course? To be fair, she is extremely polite and affectionate,quite self confident, and all we ever hear is that she's very good and a joy. Any other thoughts on curbing the tantrum side of things?

Links to other posts welcome -- I just didn't know how to search from this interface.
TIA.

Comments (2)

Remember that a toddler/preschoolers "job" is to explore the world around them, learn boundaries, and learn to communicate. Unfortunately, while they are doing that job--it is exhausting for us parents.

My only advice is to be consistently explaining to her what she did was wrong and how her how to do it right.. And remember that just because she can communicate well, does not mean she can process those thoughts.

I have found that the most effective way is to show them what they can do. I generally only disciplline if they have physically hurt someone and then they have to sit down and we discuss telling our feelings with words instead of showing them with hurtful actions. Otherwise, I just try to guide them.

DS (28 months) does throw tantrums, hits kicks and bites and all I feel like I can do is repeatedly show him other coping ways. He is also nonverbal--so the communication is hard. I can also trace back every tantrum/physical outburst to frustration. Doesn't make it always easy to deal with--but I just constantly remind myself that he is trying to communicate and part of that learning is trial and error.

Thanks, mommy-kendra. Some good reminders, especially the "just because she can communicate well..." I needed to hear that.

I think I'm also going to try to get a picture schedule down. I'm hoping that will cut down on some of the tantrums when she can see what's expected (e.g., going potty and washing hands before dinner, brushing teeth after).