1.08.2009

We take a week off posting and already the blogosphere is going into hysterics. Well relax because the Teflon Dons are back with notes on Big Blue sports.

FOOTBALL

• We aren't panicking yet since the season isn't even over, but we might want to jump on this defensive coordinator thing. Unless Rich Rod can pull a rabbit out of his ass like Tommy Tuberville, we still think Jeff Casteel is far and away the best option - even after Hakeem Nicks ran circles around the 3-3-5 in the Car Care Bowl. Lock it up, R.R.!

• Did anyone else get a chance to see the Army All-American Bowl? We have just one thing to say: Tajh Boyd = Real Deal Holyfield. The game's co-MVP is a Pat White clone, with a stronger arm. The fact he's not even considering Michigan after Beaver left us high and dry makes us sick. If Ohio State lands him one year after snatching away Terrelle Pryor, I will definitely throw up all over myself and wipe it on my shirt - again.

• It seems all but official that The Matrix will be heading home to Houston to play for Rice instead of attending Texas A&M. Bravo, Sam. While we joke no one plays defense in the Big 12, McGuffie would've been reduced to a Rag Doll again in College Station. This just in: They don't hit as hard at Rice. And with a wide-open offense that will get him the ball in space, expect big things from this kid in 2010.

• Our thoughts on William Campbell: Holy moley. Yeah even we're salivating a little bit thinking about Big Willy Style and Brandon Graham lined up next to each other next year. If Campbell had ended up bouncing like Beaver, Rich Rod would have had a complete mental breakdown and coached next season with tapioca all over his face. Thanks Will.

BASKETBALL

• We don't care that this is an Indiana team that lost to Lipscomb and Northeastern: John Beilein is the smartest man alive. And the fact we hadn't beaten the Hoosiers in Bloomington since 1995 is particularly disgusting because they haven't even been good for the past decade! Good riddance to that streak.

• Is there any argument that Manny Harris is the Big Ten's MVP? We are literally one twisted ankle away from a 7th place finish in the conference. When Manny isn't Manny - as has been the case the last couple games - the team is just DeShawn Sims and a bunch of white pipsqueaks.

• As soon as the ball bounces off the rim, we might as well sprint back to the other end because we damn sure aren't grabbing a rebound this year. Granted, a lot of it is Beilein's system where no one is under the hoop. But can we please punch someone in the face to make them think twice about wiping the glass? We better not have too many more off-nights from downtown. Think about it: It's pretty alarming a Beilein team can hit 18 of 27 treys and STILL lose (like West Virginia did in the 2005 Elite Eight to Louisville). Yorp.

• How about that crazy Tommy Amaker?! We thought you could stick a fork in T.A. after the recruiting scandal a couple months back, but you watch: A BCS program will hire him next year based solely on this victory. Seton Hall, perhaps? USF is another possibility. We've been brutal to Tommy over the years here, but give the man credit for taking a miserable Ivy League job to stick with coaching. But please everyone - let's chalk this up to Boston College sleepwalking through the game instead of Amaker's "mastermind gameplan."

About The Realests

What They Are Saying

"You should see the post-it notes on my wall: Job #1: GET THE REALESTS."- Henry Abbott, TrueHoop

"We're funnier than you."- The Realests

"The Realests have no regard for human life."- The Fakests

"There's really no local connection here, but I like these guys at The Realests."- Dan Steinberg, DC Sports Bog

"I never learned how to read, but if I had, The Realests would be the third or fourth thing I read every morning, after a Hooked On Phonics site and a blog that features only cute babies and scrumptious cakes."- Will Leitch, Deadspin

"These guys are hilarious. (And they have pix of hot chicks in some of their posts.) Their only downside is they like Michigan."- Mitchell Blatt, Juiced Sports Blog

"Just a heads-up my man. Your hat is on crooked. It makes you look like a jackass."- Anonymous