The semi-mindful spewings of some single, middle-aged white guy living in downtown Seattle.

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Weekend

You readers know I don’t like to talk too much about myself in the sense of my everyday events; I always find those type of posts self-gratifying and uninteresting (says the man with a blog). I mean do we really care that you went to the gym, or do I need to see a picture of what you ate last night? I always found people’s ideas and opinions on things far more engaging and relatable.

However please give me some leash on this, because I had one of those no good very bad weekends. I need some time to vent on this. And also maybe you can relate to some degree on some of the misgivings that occurred.

Friday

This was the day I was supposed to pull out some money from my stocks to pay for the down payment of my new place. But…..the Dow dropped 600 points in one day. Now how did this happen you may ask? Because of those damn fools in Jolly Ole England screwing around with their EU vote. What are the chances on the very day I need to pull my funds, that happened? I guess empirically speaking, a 100% chance.

Later that day I caught word that I was to receive an upgrade on my iPhone 4s. Yeah yeah, I know I am out of it when it comes to phones, but nevertheless I was excited to finally join the 4G world. But…..apparently phone companies have a very liberal use of the term ‘upgrade’. I thought I was going to get a new phone for free (as it said on their website). However that is not the case. In order for me to achieve this free phone, I have to ‘upgrade’ my plan for 24 months, which would cost more than the phone during that time. The other option was to keep my plan as is and pay $17 extra a month for the phone (which after the 24 months would come to the same price of the phone). In other words, the ‘upgrade’ they advertised to me over the phone was to lease a new phone. You have to be kidding me? A lease? All of this telecom stuff is a complete scam and I am sure they are in cahoots with the phone manufacturers. I guess they need you to keep ‘buying’ (or leasing…so fuckin’ stupid….leasing a damn phone) their new stuff or else they may lose a few dollars from their projected earnings for that quarter. I know I sound naive about this and know you younger folks are used to this process, but this is complete rip off and a huge misuse of the word ‘upgrade’.

So I had some beer to relax me that night…….

Saturday

I woke up with the literally (and I do mean literally) the worst headache I have ever had. My head was spinning and had no sense of stability. I threw up 3 times; each time I tried to get up from my bed. The dizziness nauseated me so much, I barely crawled to the toilet to dry heave.

Apparently my cupula was completely out of whack due to the fact the alcohol (which is lighter than water) in my inner ear was playing games with my senses. Naturally the first comment is ‘that’s what you get for drinking so much’. But I call shenanigans on that! I had only 5 beers, and that was over 6 hours AND ON A FULL STOMACH! Now I am no Marion Ravenwood when it comes to drinking, but I am not a lightweight either. I have a feeling it was that and the mixture of the clam chowder I had for lunch on Friday. I am telling you, I am now completely off all cream-based soups.

I had big plans for Saturday; packing, get a haircut, and go to Best Buy and yell at the phone people about the scams they run. But I couldn’t do any of that; I was literally a vegetable (and by ‘literally’ I mean figuratively) that entire day.

Sunday

I went to the baseball game. I thought I had good seats, they were high but the sun was behind the stadium and we had a nice breeze.

But then 2 o’clock came.

The sun was right on me for the 3rd inning on. And no one could pitch, which means the game gets elongated by about an hour. Luckily I was somewhat resourceful and went ‘turtle’ in my seat, protecting my skin from the violent Seattle summer Sun. But alas, my entire body was not fully covered. My forearms got burnt like a steak at the Silver Saddle.

So that means today at work instead of walking into work being wanted by all the women and envied by all the men with my awesome new Game of Thrones shirt, I look like a shaggy mess circus freak with no haircut and lobster-like arms. At least the shirt is still cool.

So there you have it; my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weekend. I hope you enjoyed reading about it, because I had no fun living it. At least Game of Thrones was awesome on last night.

Wait…you mean that was the last one of the season???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!