July 2011

July 31, 2011

Tie her spread-eagle to the bed, ice selected bits of her like a cake, alternate the warm licks of your tongue with the licks of your belt on her exposed inner thighs—and you have a birthday game—for ”vanilla’ people like us. No “safe words” and BDSM rules necessary because it is just a hot little game that we can abandon if it no longer seems like fun. Submission can be highly arousing, intensify intimacy—and lead to incredibly strong orgasms for the submissive.

Trust me: For a little pain, you can get a tremendous amount of pleasure--and feel so relaxed.

[NOTE: Obviously the dom/sub roles can be switched and/or the game can be played by two gals or two guys. As I am more drawn to the sub role and am hetero, I tend to write DS from that perspective. But the beauty of it is: Anyone can lick the chocolate.]

Instead of canned icing, buy Babeland’s Edible Body Chocolate—hands down the best tasting body chocolate ever. Krista, my product consultant, sent me a sample jar; and I couldn’t believe how good. High quality chocolate in a sex toy product--and it's all natural, vegan and fair trade? Only Babeland delivers that--and, for a short time, ON SALE.

.

If I were the Birthday Girl in this game, knowing my lover was enjoying the taste of chocolate and I wasn’t would be sweet torment the equal of his lash on my thighs. I would walk into the room selected for my punishment/delight wearing black lace thigh-topped stockings, classy stilettos, and thin leather straps defining my breasts like the outline of a bra—straps that he could adjust, making them tighter encouraging my breasts to swell and the nipples to stand up for him, adding another layer of delicious erotic pain to the “birthday cake.” Around my waist I would be wearing my Incognito Lash Belt—

conveniently on sale at Babeland—a fashionable belt that becomes a whip when I unfasten the silver-plated clasp. I would hand him the belt along with the body chocolate….

My heart beats faster and my breath comes quicker just imagining…

THE BIRTHDAY GIRL GAME

The preparations

Have her lie spread eagle on the bed with her arms and legs a little further apart than is comfortable. Should she dare to protest, slap her exposed thighs, one good smack to each. (But don’t cut off her circulation.)

Blindfold her. Not knowing if she will get the warm tongue or the sharp lash adds to her excitement.

Instruct her neither to scream nor say, NO. Tell her, “You may moan, grunt and groan, pant hard—but you will take your punishment like a lady.” Focusing on “taking” the punishment gives her a sense of control. Gradually you will see her stop trying/being able to ride the waves of pain but surrendering to them. At that point, it won’t take much to put her over the edge into a special kind of ecstasy.

The game

The object of the game: She must come in intercourse before you do--or receive further punishment.

Decorate her; don’t finger paint chocolate all over her. Swirl the body chocolate around her nipples, bringing it up to peaks. Don’t spare the chocolate. Fill her belly button with it. Hold off on creating chocolate designs on her lower belly—because she’s going to sweat.

With the tip of your tongue, indulge in small licks of the delicious chocolate. Is she pulling against the restraints trying to put her whole nipple in your mouth—or otherwise being not submissive?

Pick up the belt (or lash) and strike her inner thighs, once each. If she merely winces, you know the following lashes can be a little harder. Gradually work up to The Gasp. She will gasp when the lash stings hard.

Go back to her nipples. Clean one, suck and nibble it. Lick the chocolate out of her belly button as your extra treat. Keep it filled. Indulge yourself. Run a chocolate covered finger from nipple up her neck or down her belly--and follow with your tongue.

Pick up the belt again. Alternate a stroke to each inner thigh, gradually increasing the force as the game goes on. How many strokes overall per game? At least ten, five to each thigh—but, depending on the implement and your skill and her appetite for erotic pain, she may be able to handle more, as many as twenty—or more?

Repeat the nipple pleasure/torment, with fresh applications of body chocolate, until she is sweating and panting.

Surprise her occasionally by giving her the lash when she doesn’t expect it, perhaps by two strokes to each thigh instead of one—or surprise her by spending more time on her breasts than she is expecting.

Make designs on her lower belly and draw an arrow pointing to her clit. Lick the chocolate. Ask he if she would like to have her clit sucked. When she begs for that, pick up the lash. The last two strokes to her thighs should be harder than she expects, but not more than you know she can handle. A good dominant takes his submissive a little further than she would tell him to go—and he does it to her ultimate delight because he is carefully observing her responses.

Loosen her bonds but don’t untie her. With clean hands, massage a little oil into the red lines you have drawn on her thighs. Using more oil, stroke her labia, stimulate her clitoris and use two or three fingers of one hand in her vagina. If she needs more arousal, use an internal vibrator, like the Berman Venus G, a slender wand that has pleasure ridges to stimulate the vaginal entrance while focusing mainly on the G spot. (No clitoral vibe, the easy way to orgasm, for her now.) When she's highly aroused, turn off the vibe.

Mount her and ride her as hard as you know she can take. Pull her hair, twist her nipples, tighten her leather straps (if she is wearing them around her breasts)—quick rough gestures to intensify her sense of pain/discomfort and cause fresh jolts of brain chemicals to be released into her body, jacking up her arousal.

Whisper, “If you don’t come before I do, there will be a further punishment.”

If not, well, maybe she won’t without the extra clitoral stimulation you are withholding from her--and also driving her crazy.

The resolution—and the submissive always wins big

Now that you have taken your pleasure with her, untie her, take the blindfold off. If she’s not had an orgasm—or, if I were the Birthday Girl, not had as many as I want—you can finish the game by making her beg for release as “further punishment.” Satisfy her orally or manually.

OR

If she is so inclined, take it higher. Tell her to lie face down if she is ready for further punishment.

If I were the Birthday Girl, I would roll over onto my stomach, grind my clitoris against the mattress, push my ass up in the air, taunting the master. He would respond to the challenge by telling me to hold my ass high and giving me five good lash strokes, escalating in force, to that place where the ass meets the top of the thigh—a very tender place indeed—leaving me trembling and on the edge of falling into that ultimate pain/pleasure so deep and dark and overwhelming. By the time he put down his lash and pushed the head of his penis against my anus, I would be reduced to grunts and whimpers.

You can give your submissive up to five strokes to her back, ass or back of the thighs. Draw out her exquisite arousal by making her count each stroke. Now pleasure her.

﻿

If I were the Birthday Girl, I would want his cock in my ass. (In case your submissive might have similar desires, suggest she do her anal prep before the game begins.) With every thrust, he would mark his possession of me; and I would revel in that. I would thrill to the sounds of his balls slapping my pussy as he pushed every inch of his cock into my ass.

Afterward, I might be a little embarrassed at my submission—but I would masturbate to the memory of it for several nights in a row, until I fell asleep exhausted with my hand in my pussy.

Are you ready to play The Birthday Girl Game?

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

July 29, 2011

I've spent a lot of time this week killing dead links, deleting lame posts, shortening some long posts, creating a few new categories, tweaking a few headlines here and there--and generally cleaning up the blog in anticipation of a joint venture with SexyPrime and a U.K. company (details coming soon.) This weekend I should have that work finished and turn it over to Lindsey, my IT genius, for her skillful polishing. Doing this clean-up has made me realize what's worked and what hasn't, what no longer interests me--and what I want to do next. (Hint: Check out the revamped Category list on the right hand side of the blog for clues.)

**** The conversations with The Zola are the best conversations on the blog. I'm grouping them together and separating out the spanking dialogues. Great stuff! Even if Z and I had our problems, these conversations are worth preserving, reading and re-reading for their insights into how men and women are relating, or not, in early 21st Century urban America.

(No *s) Many of the early posts were lame; and they're gone. Too short, not well-focused, they did at least point in the direction I was headed. Lesson: Blogs don't take shape overnight.

**** Rebecca was fabulous! We had Rebecca Fridays for a short time before her workload consumed her; and she had to give up her fledgling writing projects. I would LOVE to have her back. If you have not read Rebecca, go to the category on the right hand side of the blog. Her posts on her mother's pubic hair, the big sex toy, the Dick Check and others are witty classics.

******(for content) **(for my effort) I need to do more to get The Orgasm Loop out there into the public consciousness. The letters I get from readers who are using the Loop now are awesome. This technique works; and it shoud be main-streamed.

*** Sex Science and book coverage have their fans; and since I love writing them, their place on the roster is secure.

**** Michael, M, the Ass-Master, is a great addition to SexyPrime. He offers insights and opinions that expand on what I've written, often creating layers of nuance that really adds to our understanding of topics. Sometimes we spar; and that's good. Readers love it.

*****(for erotic content) *(for the not graceful ending) I'm letting The Sexy Beast rest in peace and pulling his name from the posts this weekend. Good-bye, Sexy Beast, great lover, cheap man, partner in a classic American marriage type: passive/aggressive husband, domineering, unhappy wife. Let no man, woman or marriage counselor cast them assunder. We had the best of him on SexyPrime--his intense erotic writings, his brief struggle to be free; and that part will live on here.

***** SexyPrime is the little blog that could. I am not sure how much i should share of recent developments on my biggest crusade, but soon I will know.

What's next?

I'm not writing about my own sex life anymore--so I'm counting on y'all sending in your anonymous stories.

I have finally learned not to mix business with sex--and not to work for or with scary, creepy guys SO no more posts on working relationships gone bad--and not to take on ghostwriting projects with authors who haven't already published a book.

I want to find more contributors like Kimmie and Michael.

I want to get back to the surveys and update the most successful ones like Taboo Sex and the penis and vulva surveys.

And I want to know what you want. What do you want me to research for you? What areas of sexuality do you want us to explore together? What do you have to say about the State of Sexy-Prime?

There is general agreement that Beastly Men, especially Freddie, are no fun.

An amusing note on Freddie: I heard from a major agent this week who wants to do a book with me and Freddie. The gist of it: He goes to sex abuse rehab, pays me the kill fee and apologizes, I accept his apology and we tell his story of being initiated into sex at age 14 by a kinky 60 year old, casting it in more modern terms, with (at last) self-awareness on his part about how that woman crippled his sex and emotional life.

In short, he admits to being a Beastly Man, does the mea culpa and the heart-wrenching story of abuse--and we both make a lot of money with him headed for the lecture circuit where he will make even more money and pick up women all over again.

It's America. Wasn't this pitch inevitable?

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

July 27, 2011

One of our readeers emailed this week to say: "I never thought I would sustain interest in a serial for this long--but it just keeps getting hotter. She brings the reader into her 'dirty little secret'--being in thrall to that unattractive man--and makes it our secret too."

Yes!

I am pleased and proud to give you SexyPrime's own Kimmie--

Dirty Little Secret, part twenty-seven

She stared at him as he pulled his pants off. His erection bobbed at her from under his belly, nodding hello. He slid the pile closer to her with one foot, then grabbed the single pillow and lined it up with her knees.

“Face down,” he repeated.

She continued to stare as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. Face down could only mean one thing, she knew, but could he really mean for her to drape herself over the pillows right there in the foyer? Why not use the bed, or the couch? Anything more normal than a pile of pillows barely a few feet from the front door. Did he really expect her to do that?

He tossed his shirt to the side. Seeing that she hadn’t moved yet, he stepped forward, grabbed her hips and pulled her to her knees, kind of dragging her sideways and up onto the pillows. Yes, apparently he did indeed expect her to do that.

His fingers dug impersonally into her skin as he rearranged her where he wanted her. When he was done, the pillows lifted her ass slightly higher than the floor. She wasn’t really up that far, but at least her hip bones were cushioned. Her knees missed the single pillow, but it didn’t seem to matter because he grabbed it for himself, kneeling down on it and sliding forward.

He laid his palm over her tailbone and pushed her ass down. The pillows pushed her back up. He did it again, bouncing her butt, splaying her legs to the sides awkwardly. He reached around and jerked the pile a little further forward. The cool air chilled her now-exposed crotch.

She braced herself on her forearms crossed in front of her. Her shirt was shoved up under her armpits, leaving her breasts and lower ribcage on the floor. Right as she started to think to herself how ridiculous this was, she heard the snap of a condom. Then he shoved his fingers into her and pulled them out again, wiping them up her crack like he’d done before. It was hardly necessary; she was still soaked from what he’d just done to her. She was as wet as wet could be.

The next thing she knew, one of his arms came down beside her and his belly was resting on her ass. She felt his cock in his fist, pushing around, trying to find her hole. It was so slippery back there, and she doubted he could see around his belly at that angle. He poked her directly on the asshole and she tensed, her legs stiffening involuntarily, shoving him slightly away from her.

He immediately lowered the tip, which lined him up with his goal, and waited for her to relax. As her buttocks unclenched, he slid right in.

Oh god, that was good. His fingers and tongue were amazing, but there was still nothing like the feel of an actual penis. He moved his arms down to just above her hip bones and pinned her there, sliding in and out of her slowly. She was so wet that he could come all the way out and still easily slide back in.

It was like a tease, but it was also working for her. She could feel tension building slowly inside every time his cock pushed in and slid out. It made her want him to fuck her harder, though, to slam into her hard and fast.

She made a little noise and tried to lift her ass up a little further, but between the odd position of her legs and his weight pinning her down, there wasn’t much she could do. Slowly, methodically, he pushed in and pulled out. She whimpered and tried to push up again, and got slapped on the ass for her trouble.

“Relax,” he shushed her. “We’re doing this one my way.”

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

A decade ago, before scientists put women into fMRI machines and watched their brains light up on orgasm, they thought that pleasure was registered in the left hand side of the brain.During orgasm, however, the right hand side throws up fireworks like the Fourth of July while the left goes nearly dark, leaving the right prefrontal cortex, as Nadia Webb writes in “The Neurobiology of Bliss—Sacred and Profane” in Scientific American magazine—“a bright island.”

On the calmer side of bliss, scientists are studying happiness, including the demonstrable impact that meditation has on raising one’s general sense of happiness and well-being. I am a believer in meditation though my practice of it still leaves something to be desired.The thesis of Webb’s article is that bliss, both “sacred” (meditation) and “profane” (orgasm) share the diminuation of self-awareness. It is self-awareness that can keep us shackled inside our minds.

She writes: “Orgasm and meditation dissolve the sense of physical boundary.Unlike meditation, orgasm seems a heightened sense of being within one’s body rather than the sense of being outside of it.”

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THIS MAKE TO ANYONE EXCEPT A SCIENCE GEEK?

Give any good sexologist a free afternoon alone with a pile of abstracts—and we will find practical applications for all that new learning. We will make it make a difference to you.

Neuroscience is enabling us to see how bliss, both kinds, look in the brain—and that has led some scientists to the construct of The Neurological Orgasm—and, of course, led others to posit how to make that N. O. last longer.Imagine your favorite Tantrika, given to rhapsodizing on the Full Body orgasm or the Taoist delights of Delayed Orgasm, confronted with the latest results of response research on the effects of dopamine and oxytocin, the neurotransmitters of bliss.Confusion!S/he knows you can play with your genital response system to create longer, stronger orgasms.You can also play with your neurological response mechanisms to create similar effects.How?

WHERE IS THE BANG IN THE NEUROTRANSMITTER RESPONSE?

Some studies tried to make the connection between the types of sex the subjneect experienced and the variable neurochemical response—like, for example, showing that sex with a vibrator produced less dopamine and oxytocin than sex with a penis.The problem with those studies?They failed to take into consideration the cognitive state of the brain being scanned.The brain of a depressed person won’t release as much of the neurochemicals as that of a non-depressed person—whether the penis or the vibe is the trigger.Further studies focused more on state of mind led to scientists deducing, as Andrea Kuszewski writes on Scientific Blogging:

“You can give one person two separate, yet identical patterns of physiological stimulation, and end up getting radically different subjective experiences as a result. This implies that it is not just the physical act of sex that gives us so much pleasure, but how we represent that act in our mind that really has impact. Not only can we get just as much of a neurotransmitter response from visual input or representational input (fantasies) as we can from physical input, but sometimes it can be even better than the real thing.”

Read that last sentence again.

Yes, neuroscience has essentially concluded that his masturbating to porn or her masturbating to the fantasy of connection with her emotional lover CAN be better than sex with each other.In Fantasies vs. Reality, Fantasies win often, especially as the relationship ages. The trick to getting a bigger, better longer O and rejuvenating the married sex life and dialing back on the hardcore porn is simply figuring out the right stimuli to create a stronger neurotransmitter response.

What men do with porn and both genders, but especially men, do in internet trolling for sex, is basically:keep upping the ante.More online contacts.More junk shots tweeted.More nude pics from her.Faster accelerations to phone calls and sexting.Harder and harder and rougher and rougher porn.

“Trolling is mostly about the rush of endorphins and ego gratification from a stranger’s attention. It is like smoking crack. You can't get the same emotional high from the love of a committed partner.”

Do you think a crackhead has found his or her bliss?

Still, you ask, if the key to inducing a stronger neurotransmitter response is a strong stimuli—What to do?

Kuszewski says—

“Imagery and suggestion that is blatant and forceful may get a big spike in dopamine, but it will be short-lived. This isn't giving you enough time to feel the attachment effects of oxytocin to the fullest extent possible. The element of mystery is a trigger for dopamine- in figuring out that mystery, we are intrigued, drawn in, motivated to examine it closer. If a stimulus is more abstract and leaves a little to the imagination, you will spend more time on it, thus extending every pleasurable neurochemical process, giving you a prolonged neurological orgasm.”

SELLING IT TO THE BRAIN

She explains in an utterly charming and logical way the marketing philosophy behind Dolce & Gabanna ads, noted for their elegant erotic appeal, and applies that thinking to your neurotransmitter response.The techniques D&G use include planting suggestions, ambiguity of image (so you can fill in the blanks), anticipation, and telling of a story.

If you want to have a longer Neurological Orgasm, you have to play with that brain.Seduce. Tease.Disconnect foreplay from the objective, at least sometimes, and turn each other on before you go your separate ways in the morning or any time where you aren’t falling immediately into a full body naked embrace.Daily Sex Bible is rich in techniques and ideas for creative arousal and delayed gratification.I had some of these neuroscience studies on my desk as I was putting the book together.

Dial back the porn.Keep your junk off the internet.The best lovers are smart people who can arouse their partners through their minds as well as their bodies.They are not necessarily the best bodies on your Facebook friends list.

Take your brain off fast foods.But first read Andrea Kuszewski’s excellent article.Put yourself inside those D&G ads and imagine making that work in your sex life.

Thanks to Steven Otero at Sexy Spirits for providing research for this article!

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

July 25, 2011

The most frequently asked question last week was—“How do I keep my vagina moist during pool sex?”

Water-based lubricants slip slide away in the pool or hot tub. Use a good silicone-based lube like Sylk, Astroglide, Eros and others that stay slick, even during prolonged play in water. (Check out the lubes at Babeland.) Drawback: Silicone lubes are not compatible with silicone sex toys. Read labels carefully.

More questions—

Q. “What are the rules on traveling by air with sex toys? My girlfriend and I are going to the Middle East. Will the vibes, flogger and cuffs get us be-headed? Would a doctor’s note help?” Ben, London.

Whips, chains, leashes, restraints, cuffs and vibrators are all OK, but remember—“An inspector’s job is to inspect. Don’t pack the toys if you don’t want them inspected.”

Alas, they may be confiscated in one of the many Arab countries where sex toys are outlawed. Check the laws before packing. Worst case scenario: Years in a horrendous prison with no access to beauty treatments, but likely not beheading.

Sex expert Carol Queen, who has traveled the world with her vibrators, says, “Vibrators are not the problem, shame about vibrators is the problem.”

Q. “My wife has a medical situation affecting the appearance of her vagina. She no longer loves it; and she doesn’t want me to love it either. Her doctor said cunnilingus is fine but she doesn’t want me going ‘down there.’ What can I do to persuade her? I am missing cunnilingus,” TJR, Mobile, Alabama.

A. I would bet she is missing cunnilingus too. I’m so sorry that her condition has left her feeling shamed about the appearance of her vagina—sorry for both of you. Is she seeing a therapist/coach, a sex-positive person trained in sexuality (and preferably AASECT certified)? If not, help her find someone.

Reiterate that you love performing cunnilingus on her, but don’t push. Give her some time and space and concentrate on pleasuring her every other way she will let you. For a one-time donation of $20, share Betty Dodson’s Genital Art Gallery with her. The astonishing variety of vulvas should help her see that there is a place for hers too.

Q. “I appreciate that you stand up, as you phrase it, for male sexuality as well as female—but why do you push vibratorsthe way you do?! My GF has a drawer-ful of them. She uses them when I am not around and tells me about her experiences. Sometimes she asks me to use them on her while we’re making love. I find that intrusive; and I fear her asking for them indicates she is hooked on vibrators.

“I gave her an ultimatum—The vibes or me!

“She said I’ll need a little time to think on that.

“What now, Queen of the Vibes?” –Alonzo, Sydney, Australia by way of Spain.

A. I would have chosen the vibes. So generous of her to consider your ultimatum.

Some men—you may be surprised to know—embrace vibrators and other sex toys. They understand that most women need direct clitoral stimulation in addition to the thrusting of intercourse to reach orgasm; and they like being in charge of all that. Many men also like to watch as they’re bringing her to orgasm, not once, but several times, in glorious waves.

Yes, there are still men like you threatened by the vibrator. They often say they fear her becoming (or that she has become) addicted to her toys. Really, they are afraid they aren’t enough for her.

Alonzo, you are not in competition with her toys. Nothing replaces the feeling of a real man in your arms, his flesh thrusting into yours, his sweat mingling with yours. Vibrators do not have chest hair or broad shoulders or strong arms or beating hearts; and they cannot gaze into your eyes when you orgasm. They do not kiss and caress.

The toys are wonderful! Men are wonderful! No contest. Women want both.

Check out yesterday’s post on a new vibe and some special offers at Babeland. Oh, the Minna Ola (only available at Babeland)! This little beauty is controlled and programmed by squeezing—and it remembers the pattern of her responses to the squeezes and replays it the way she likes it. Order one. You take Minna Ola in hand and pleasure your girlfriend. When you are not there, she can experience the vibe as you gave it to her. That’s hot. Put your stamp on the experience. Rescind the ultimatum!

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

July 24, 2011

I might have dreamed this new luxury vibrator Minna Ola, it's so perfect. You squeeze one end to control pressure and speed. The harder you squeeze, the more powerful the vibrations. Minna remembers your responses. Hit a button; and it replays. (Don't you wish everyone had squeeze memory?)

At last, an instant replay a woman can really get into.

Bonus: Minna Ola is waterproof. Lie back in the shallow end of the pool or the bathtub and enjoy.

Babeland will be shipping the Minna Ola—another revolutionary toy in the great big toy box of wonders--on August 1. With your pre-order, you get free UPS ground shipping and a four ounce BabeLube natural. The Minna Ola is exclusive to Babeland; you can't buy this ticket to ride anywhere else.

Can you believe the incredible wealth of choices we have in vibrators today?

With a line of high end sex toys that look like little pieces of art, JimmyJane is an industry leadeer in the upgrading of product. Through the end of July, Babeland and JimmyJane are running a special promotion, Come for a Cause.

Donate $5 to SIECUS (Sexuality Information & Education Council of the United States) and receive a free Afterglow massage candle.

Donate $5 to SIECUS and buy a JimmyJane toy for $75 or more and receive a free Iconic Smoothie vibrator.

Check it out on the Babeland site.

I can't wait to hear your experiences with Minna Ola. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

July 23, 2011

Take your mind off the heat by getting hotter, reading about taboo sex.

Oh, is it Hot, Hot, Hot on the East Coast (and Midwest) this weekend. Where is the suave Buster Poindexter, drummer Tony Machine and their conga line when we need them?

The Taboo Sex Survey remains the most popular survey done on SexyPrime. Men and women are still sending me their responses to the questionnaire. I think I'll do an update soon.

The survey results post also has links to the sex taboo stories that ran all that week, beginning with my own, "Sleeping with my Cousin." (Since I have recently sworn off writing about my own sex life, consider that piece a vintage.)

Pour something cold, turn up the AC--and enjoy.

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

Most women have several strands of fake pearls in varying sizes. Pick the one that feels right for your own personal clit play.

Use an all-natural lube [like Trust oil].

Start with a vibrator. When you are highly aroused and really want to come, switch off that vibe.

Take your chosen strand of pearls in one hand. Work them through your inner and outer lips.

Move up to your clitoris. Stroke the sides of your clit with the pearls.

For the stunning finale, put one pearl between the head of your clitoris and your fingerpad. Massage, using a pressing motion, followed by a small circling move. Keep the pearl and the head of your clit in constant contact.

You will come all over that pearl before you know it.

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

“As many of you know, I took Bill and his dear friend, the late Major Victor Terrelonge, flying in the same type aircraft they first used in primary training to become fighter pilots in WWII…” Dan Taylor, "The Morning Show", WCBS-fm 101.1.

Officially, the 332nd Fighter Group and 447th Bombardment Group of the U.S. Army Air Corps, the Tuskegee Airmen, as they were popularly known, were the nation’s first black pilots. They served in the racially segregated military in World War II, won medals, are still receiving honors and earned the collective title, Heroes, by anyone’s definition of the word—though as Dan Taylor points out in a moving remembrance of his late friend William Wheeler, these splendid pilots couldn’t get jobs with U.S. airlines after the war.

I first heard a part of the Tuskegee story as a little girl, from Daddy, as we were en route to New Orleans to bring his Mammy Lou Lou to live out her final days with us in Illinois. Before foreign au pairs and nannies, families in New Orleans turned the daily duties of child-rearing over to Mammies, many of whom even wet-nursed the white babies as Mammy Lou Lou did for Daddy and his two brothers. (Who took care of her own children? Is that why were they missing from her life in old age?)

Trips to the South always included a learning segment, lessons in cautious behavior that Daddy or Mama thought their irrepressible little girl needed, coupled with the historical back stories attempting to explain the inexplicable, like why I couldn’t drink out of the “colored” drinking fountain and vice versa. Why the Tuskegee airmen that particular day? I don’t know. Most likely, the topic was sparked by a newspaper story. Whatever, Mammy Lou Lou and the Tuskegee airmen—“some of the war’s greatest heroes,” Daddy said— were linked forever in my mind; and it seems a valid link.

I shared that story and Dan’s essay and photos with my veterans’ book group last night. We decided to read next a book on the pilots and selected from the eight we found online: Black Knights: The Story of the Tuskegee Airmen by Lynn Homan and Thomas Reilly (Pelican Press, 2001.) Any other recommendations?

R., an African American man who lost a leg in Afghanistan, said, “Dan Taylor’s story of becoming friends with the two old pilots after he took them up in the plane they’d flown is very inspirational to me. In the aftermath of war, even decades later, there can be good surprises, people reaching across age and race lines to honor those who served. His respect for those men and their tradition is heartfelt.”

D.T., you are a good man. I am always appreciating you more,, and on deeper levels, than I would have guessed the first time I heard your sexy voice and sat straight up in bed.

Readers, if you would like to honor the accomplishments of those great American pilots, help introduce young people to aviation or contribute to a scholarship fund, go to the Tuskegee Airmen Inc. website.

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July 20, 2011

Last night I had dinner with a friend at an old Gramercy Park institution: Le Petite Auberge. They made their famous chocolate souffle for us--incredibly delicious. If you wonder how a woman who indulges in rich desserts stays in her size 2 jeans--Walking! Manhattan, the leanest of the city's boroughs, is also the walking capitol of America where we stride determinedly through muggy summer days. That brings me to Kimmie, a woman who clearly knows a thing or two about great indulgences and working up a sweat.

Once again, with great pride and pleasure, here's SexyPrime's own Kimmie--

Dirty Little Secret, part twenty-six

She was a wet noodle, way past al dente, lying splayed on the floor. She was vaguely aware of the cool hardwoods under her face and legs. They felt nice. He seemed to have left her, because she didn’t feel him anywhere, but that was okay. He’d come back. She was in his foyer, barely a foot from the front door. He’d at least have to step over her if he wanted to get out.

She thought dimly that maybe she ought to get up, but if he was fine to leave her here, she was fine to stay for a bit. Her legs had done overtime keeping her upright while he did what he did to her. They deserved a rest.

That had been an intense experience. Really good sex was even better than a ninety minute massage, she thought. That was amazing, too, but good sex relaxed the insides as well as the outside. Not to mention the brain. She smiled drunkenly, her cheek against the floor, amused at her own inability to think coherently. She just wanted to enjoy the buzz humming through her whole body.

She heard noises in the kitchen, then felt the vibration of his steps coming toward her. She squinted one eye open to see his feet coming toward her around the corner.

“Sit up,” he said, squatting next to her head. She pushed up on one elbow. He hooked his hand under her arm and helped her sit. The floor was nice and cool on her bare ass now, too. He handed her a glass of water. Thoughtful man.

She took a sip as he disappeared again. She leaned against the wall, drinking more. There was a window across from her, streaming the afternoon sun in strips through the blinds. They were mostly closed, she noticed. Someone would have to be snooping pretty close to see in, although it could be done. They’d have gotten an eyeful a few minutes ago for sure.

He came back around the corner with an armful of pillows, dumping them on the floor in front of her. He took the glass from her and walked away again into the kitchen. Pillows? she thought. Maybe he did plan to leave her here and wanted to make sure she was comfortable. She grinned at that thought. She didn’t really think that was his plan, but she could certainly take a nap right here with a nice pillow under her head. With that sun streaming in and the cool floor under her, she could take a lovely nap.

She was still grinning as he came back around the corner again. He leaned over and stacked several of the pillows on top of each other, leaving one by itself slightly behind. Strange, she thought. Maybe we’re playing blocks, but with pillows. She reached for the last one to pile it on top of the others.

“Leave that,” he said, unzipping his pants. He pointed to the pile. She looked at him dumbly, not sure what was happening. He pointed to the pile again.

“Face down,” he said.

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime