This gentle, fierce, honest woman is my TOTAL HERO. TRUTH IS EVERYTHING. TRUTH WILL CHANGE THE WORLD. It certainly changed the heart and mind of one guy with the laughingly apt handle, “european_douchebag” — who posted her photograph on the front page of Reddit, which is itself considered THE FRONT PAGE OF THE INTERNET, in a really shitty and thoughtless attempt to publicly shame her for her facial fair, and to hopefully get some laughs and earn “some internet points” in the process. Instead, he got an education and a unique opportunity to do the right thing — and BOY, DID HE DO IT.

This amazing story particularly spoke to me because a) I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS work hard to try and understand my enemies and to build alliances with them, if possible. It’s just something that is HUGELY important to me, and always has been. It’s the ONLY WAY we learn and it’s the ONLY WAY THROUGH. There is nothing more powerful than making your enemies your friends.

And b) As a woman of Mediterranean ancestry, in my natural, unwaxed, unplucked state — I LOOK LIKE TOM MOTHERFUCKING SELLECK. Brava to her for speaking her truth, enlightening her shamer, and LETTING HER WHISKERS WAVE!

To the (undoubtedly male) commenters on that story who say that if she can cut her fingernails, wear clothing, bathe, get corrective spectacles to fix her vision, etc…she can certainly get rid of her facial hair so she can look more feminine…I say this:

GO FUCK YOURSELF. Not she, not me, not ANY woman is obliged to alter her appearance OR her behavior to make YOU feel more comfortable in the world, my brutha. IT AIN’T OUR JOB.

The point here is, it’s OUR CHOICE. If you WANT to shave your legs or pluck your chin, DO IT — and even more importantly, DON’T FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

And if you DON’T want to — DON’T…and DON’T FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR THAT, EITHER.

Whether she knows it or not (and judging from how intelligent, well-spoken, and thoughtful she is, my guess is SHE TOTALLY DOES), or whether she intends it or not, this awesome whiskered woman is a RADICAL. Her very existence in line at an airport fast food restaurant is political (we won’t even TALK ABOUT THE PRESENCE OF THE TURBAN, which is a WHOLE OTHER twist of XENOPHOBIC TERROR) because her fuzzy face is an affront to what is aesthetically expected of women in this culture, and for her very own reasons (which include her spiritual beliefs as a Sikh), SHE AIN’T HAVIN’ NONE OF IT.

That’s right. Ms. Balpreet Kaur is frontin’ on HER OWN TERMS…and, for those who are confused about the definition, THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS FEMINISM.

GOOD FOR HER…and, every bit as important, good for “european_douchebag”…who, in a most moving example of both contrition and grace, ended his very public apology with this:
“So reddit I’m sorry for being an asshole and for giving you negative publicity.
Balpreet, I’m sorry for being a closed minded individual. You are a much better person than I am
Sikhs, I’m sorry for insulting your culture and way of life.
Balpreet’s faith in what she believes is astounding.”

Yes, yes, yes…I know it’s just a start. But what a lovely and hopeful start it is, don’t you think?

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.