All children by age 13 must practice and demonstrate before the school marshal that they can put on a condom successfully to ensure safe sex.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists are really stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran and Iraq are still closed off. Physicists estimate it will take at least 40 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Israel will not occupy their radioactive territories of the Middle East until 2100.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton, now 79, has banned all smoking as her third term draws to a close.

Angel Soros, granddaughter of George Soros, is heading the movement initiated by the Clinton regime, to raise the minimum wage for all government workers and “people of color” by 20% from 1,150 pesos ($55.55) to 1,382 pesos ($66.66) per hour. Others stay at 1,150 pesos/hour.

Economists predict that the 20% minimum wage increase will be negated within a year as costs catch up to coincide with the additional income.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. The AMA is thrilled, crediting the 85-year and $75.8 billion USD study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

A small group anthropologists and historians from private, non-government certified colleges, are respectfully asking the government to reinstate use of the words, “Jesus and Yeshua,” replacing the current admissible words “anarchists,” for the good of history.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in The United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR, even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open Tuesdays and Fridays.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children. Cloning specialists claim they can produce ten foot tall potential Black NBA players within the next few years with a $250 billion grant.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, ballpoint pens, fly-swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

Any hold-outs from the 2035 confiscation of guns, ammo, knives, axes, machetes, ice-picks, etc, will be exterminated when caught.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines; factor of 1.73:1.

No more than 7 people are allowed to assemble publicly except Executives.

Book stores, homes, libraries and publishers will be sanctioned beginning next year for possessing of, or reference to, a Bible, Tanakh, or media pertaining thereto in accordance with Clinton Executive Order PEO-59-666.

Government revises penalty from life imprisonment to death for all dissenters or anyone else who has not had their Government Oversight Devise (GOD) implanted on their brain stem for identification, indoctrination and control. (See “DIE” below)

In accordance with the new government approved “DIE” program, “Dissenters” are to be recycled immediately upon conviction regardless of age; “Inconsequentials” are to be recycled at or by age 40; and “Elites” are to be “memorialized” at a place of their choice irregardless of age at death.

Oh yeah… and God (the one we used to know) objects to the scientific term “dark matter.” It’s really “Light Matter.” You best remember that!~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Now, share this or send it to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what… NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile, or, you might scare the living crap out of them. At least it’s your opportunity to inform people of what to expect for their children and grandchildren.

I Love This Country! It’s The Government That Scares Me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~