Dear Dr. Fred

My husband is a member of the Tea Party and he walks around in those 19th century clothes with a hat on top of his head. At night, before sex, he makes me read the Constitution to make certain that I do not violate the Bill of Rights. Is he right to make me recite the Constitution before sex? If I oppose him, he says it is in the Constitution.
Exhausted Harriet

Dear Exhausted Harriet:

I assume he is referring to the 2nd Amendment which allows him to shoot off his weapon without any interference from outside parties. Sorry, Harriet, but it is his Constitutional right to fire away and he can’t be stopped unless, of course, you are one of those Socialist Commies. Perhaps, you are a liberal. If so, demand a loose interpretation of the 2nd Amendment which requires that if he fails to hit the target or over shoots, you have a right to turn your back on the entire activity.
Sincerely,
Straight Shooting Dr. Fred