Yes apparently it is too hard for them to get. What gets me is when my husband wakes up he seems to expect time to himself to relax and drink a cup of coffee without a whole lot of noise of discussion. Which I do try to do. But sometimes I feel like hey I've already been up for three hours and I didn't get even a split second of time to myself before I was feeding the baby and myself, washing dishes and putting a load of laundry in.ok thanks for letting me rant, you hit a nerve with me. I hope it gets easier for you.

Yes apparently it is too hard for them to get. What gets me is when my husband wakes up he seems to expect time to himself to relax and drink a cup of coffee without a whole lot of noise of discussion. Which I do try to do. But sometimes I feel like hey I've already been up for three hours and I didn't get even a split second of time to myself before I was feeding the baby and myself, washing dishes and putting a load of laundry in.ok thanks for letting me rant, you hit a nerve with me. I hope it gets easier for you.

Yes!! Not to mention that when she does nap-A) I'm tired too. At some point I have to sit or I'll end up nutsB) That's my time to cook lunch for myself and possibly get a chore or two done that can not have baby aroundC) A shower would be niceD) If I ever hear him say again how he wishes he could have it easy and stay at home to fluff about with the baby I'll go nuts on that too

I should mention she is napping now while I'm on the computer but I decided today and yesterday are my days off. Hey maybe that'll help you. Every so often (not even every week) I decide to take a day "off". I of course still do all necessary baby related stuff and keep the dishes washed but other than that it's eating leftovers and the bathroom doesn't get cleaned, the floor doesn't get mopped or vacuumed. I take it as easy as I can. It saves me from too many resentments towards husband cause in the end that takes up more of my day than it does his.

Yes!! Not to mention that when she does nap-A) I'm tired too. At some point I have to sit or I'll end up nutsB) That's my time to cook lunch for myself and possibly get a chore or two done that can not have baby aroundC) A shower would be niceD) If I ever hear him say again how he wishes he could have it easy and stay at home to fluff about with the baby I'll go nuts on that too

I should mention she is napping now while I'm on the computer but I decided today and yesterday are my days off. Hey maybe that'll help you. Every so often (not even every week) I decide to take a day "off". I of course still do all necessary baby related stuff and keep the dishes washed but other than that it's eating leftovers and the bathroom doesn't get cleaned, the floor doesn't get mopped or vacuumed. I take it as easy as I can. It saves me from too many resentments towards husband cause in the end that takes up more of my day than it does his.

Perhaps your husband needs to spend a day in your shoes to appreciate all that you do. My husband has always been helpful, but in the beginning I could tell he was a bit resentful when I asked for extra help once in a while. Well one day (on one of his days off), I ended up with a nasty cold and didn't want our infant son to catch it...so I banned myself to our room. Hubby was left alone with our son for the entire day for the very first time. On top of that, we had planned on getting groceries, the house needed tidying and we had to go to Walmart to pick up a birthday present for a party we were attending in a couple of days. By the end of the day, after LO was put down for the night, Hubby came into our room and gave me a HUGE hug. He said he never knew how difficult my days were. After that, I never had trouble getting extra help from him.

When your hubby gets home from work, make sure to give him a bit of time to himself before he assumes his fatherly duties. I'm sure he works hard to bring home your family's income, so he deserves a break to change his clothes, perhaps take a shower and maybe get something to eat. Once he's freshened up, he can take over which will allow you to have some time to yourself. :)

Hope this helps!

Perhaps your husband needs to spend a day in your shoes to appreciate all that you do. My husband has always been helpful, but in the beginning I could tell he was a bit resentful when I asked for extra help once in a while. Well one day (on one of his days off), I ended up with a nasty cold and didn't want our infant son to catch it...so I banned myself to our room. Hubby was left alone with our son for the entire day for the very first time. On top of that, we had planned on getting groceries, the house needed tidying and we had to go to Walmart to pick up a birthday present for a party we were attending in a couple of days. By the end of the day, after LO was put down for the night, Hubby came into our room and gave me a HUGE hug. He said he never knew how difficult my days were. After that, I never had trouble getting extra help from him.

When your hubby gets home from work, make sure to give him a bit of time to himself before he assumes his fatherly duties. I'm sure he works hard to bring home your family's income, so he deserves a break to change his clothes, perhaps take a shower and maybe get something to eat. Once he's freshened up, he can take over which will allow you to have some time to yourself. :)

Oh i feel ya. Â The other day we were discussing losing weight as we are both trying to. Well he said that well if he didnt have to work it would be easy as he would be in the gym 4 hours a day. Â So i said yes well its not that easy when you have a LO around and besides the gym daycare only allows 2 hour visits and has limited open hours. Â Well he said 'oh no even if i had a kid' i would go morning and afternoon'. I said well its not that easy when you have other stuff on, i.e playdates and stuff to do with the kiddie let alone housework. And he was totally like 'oh no even then cos we wouldnt have other stuff on'. Â WTF How can they not get that all the things i take daughter to do in a week is not for my socializing pleasure but is actually to keep her sane (yes me too) and that being home isnt just a social joyful event that allows you to do whatever you want when you want.Â Sorry slightly off topic i know but it set me off.Â

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Oh i feel ya. Â The other day we were discussing losing weight as we are both trying to. Well he said that well if he didnt have to work it would be easy as he would be in the gym 4 hours a day. Â So i said yes well its not that easy when you have a LO around and besides the gym daycare only allows 2 hour visits and has limited open hours. Â Well he said 'oh no even if i had a kid' i would go morning and afternoon'. I said well its not that easy when you have other stuff on, i.e playdates and stuff to do with the kiddie let alone housework. And he was totally like 'oh no even then cos we wouldnt have other stuff on'. Â WTF How can they not get that all the things i take daughter to do in a week is not for my socializing pleasure but is actually to keep her sane (yes me too) and that being home isnt just a social joyful event that allows you to do whatever you want when you want.Â Sorry slightly off topic i know but it set me off.Â

I totally understand. i think one thing that helped me was to have a time in my mind that I was "off" work. And once I was off work, there were of course some things I would do (like feed our son or get his bottles ready for the next day, and finish dinner and put the dishes away), but everything else could wait until tomorrow. I also do it a little on the weekends too when my husband is home. I try to limit the amount of chores I do and just try to relax as much as possible. It really helped me keep my sanity to not feel like I should always be working on my to do list. HTH.

I totally understand. i think one thing that helped me was to have a time in my mind that I was "off" work. And once I was off work, there were of course some things I would do (like feed our son or get his bottles ready for the next day, and finish dinner and put the dishes away), but everything else could wait until tomorrow. I also do it a little on the weekends too when my husband is home. I try to limit the amount of chores I do and just try to relax as much as possible. It really helped me keep my sanity to not feel like I should always be working on my to do list. HTH.

My husband was the same way, he though being a stay at home mom meant all I did all day was lay around and be lazy. He didn't understand that his laundry was washed and put away everyday and the house was clean and dishes done and baby taken care of not by chore gnomes but by me and me alone. I used to keep a daily routine journal where I would record everything I did from diaper changes to lodes of laundry being folded including the time I started and stopped each activity. At first he thought I was padding the times but then he had to take on a day in my life due to illness and ended up calling his mom to come over and help after about 2 hours and when she didn't come over (she lives an hour and a half away and it was already 8pm) he realized that it's not easy! Also, what helped was one week I took Thursday and Friday off, I only took care of baby and essentials, I didn't do laundry, I didn't mop, etc. Then I did my usual weekday routine Saturday and Sunday and he quickly realized that I wasn't joking about how much I do.

Now our compromise is that during the week when he gets home from work he takes up to 30 minutes to settle in, then he gives me 30 minutes (sometimes I may take 45) to have time to myself be it to shower, catch up on e-mail, whatever I want. Plus, this gives him one on one time with baby. On the weekends I let him sleep in (I don't get to 5 days a week so it doesn't bother me not to at all) and when he gets up he takes about 15 minutes to drink his coffee and wake up, then he takes baby for about 30 - 45 minutes while I get to have me time, then about this time baby is ready for a nap. Throughout the day we share baby duty, but Saturday I get more help than Sunday, and hubby generally reserves nap time for his video game playing or whatever. And I don't do as much over the weekend, I let laundry pile up, I don't stress about unloading the dishwasher. My job doesn't end at 5 like his so I have my "easy days" on his off days. Also, even on the weekends I still get my evening me time, so 2 days a week I get two me time allocations a day! My husband and I also knew going into our marriage we wanted a traditional, 50's style, marriage.Â

My husband was the same way, he though being a stay at home mom meant all I did all day was lay around and be lazy. He didn't understand that his laundry was washed and put away everyday and the house was clean and dishes done and baby taken care of not by chore gnomes but by me and me alone. I used to keep a daily routine journal where I would record everything I did from diaper changes to lodes of laundry being folded including the time I started and stopped each activity. At first he thought I was padding the times but then he had to take on a day in my life due to illness and ended up calling his mom to come over and help after about 2 hours and when she didn't come over (she lives an hour and a half away and it was already 8pm) he realized that it's not easy! Also, what helped was one week I took Thursday and Friday off, I only took care of baby and essentials, I didn't do laundry, I didn't mop, etc. Then I did my usual weekday routine Saturday and Sunday and he quickly realized that I wasn't joking about how much I do.

Now our compromise is that during the week when he gets home from work he takes up to 30 minutes to settle in, then he gives me 30 minutes (sometimes I may take 45) to have time to myself be it to shower, catch up on e-mail, whatever I want. Plus, this gives him one on one time with baby. On the weekends I let him sleep in (I don't get to 5 days a week so it doesn't bother me not to at all) and when he gets up he takes about 15 minutes to drink his coffee and wake up, then he takes baby for about 30 - 45 minutes while I get to have me time, then about this time baby is ready for a nap. Throughout the day we share baby duty, but Saturday I get more help than Sunday, and hubby generally reserves nap time for his video game playing or whatever. And I don't do as much over the weekend, I let laundry pile up, I don't stress about unloading the dishwasher. My job doesn't end at 5 like his so I have my "easy days" on his off days. Also, even on the weekends I still get my evening me time, so 2 days a week I get two me time allocations a day! My husband and I also knew going into our marriage we wanted a traditional, 50's style, marriage.Â

Stay at home dad here,I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. My wife gets home at 6 and my son goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. I used to look forward to her coming home. Now I know she wants dinner made, house to be clean(cleaner than she EVER cleaned before kiddo), and since she has had a hard day, she doesn't want to take are of our 1 year old. I felt bad the other day when I made dinner, cut his food up and asked her to feed him dinner since she said she wasnt hungry and I would love to eat a meal without having to alternate bites between him and I. Sorry if I rambled...

Stay at home dad here,I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. My wife gets home at 6 and my son goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. I used to look forward to her coming home. Now I know she wants dinner made, house to be clean(cleaner than she EVER cleaned before kiddo), and since she has had a hard day, she doesn't want to take are of our 1 year old. I felt bad the other day when I made dinner, cut his food up and asked her to feed him dinner since she said she wasnt hungry and I would love to eat a meal without having to alternate bites between him and I. Sorry if I rambled...

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