FAQ

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I can't give up Kara as a girl group for some reason. My personal thoughts: OMG THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS HIGH BUDGET COMPARED TO THE GOODWILL SETS THEY GOT BEFORE. But this would've been so much hotter if they danced in the first teaser's costumes.

But man, this shit is still great. Did you see Nicole shakin' it? Lemme go fap before the "MR TAXI COSTUME RIPOFF" select Sones arrive.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Okay, nothing really happens in the first minute. This guy finds a girl (played by Minkyung) in a garbage bag. Instead of calling the cops or some shit, he ends up taking her inside. Then they do random shit in the second minute. What I don't get is why someone would have their telescope out in the middle of the day. Seems pretty pointless to me. More boring shit happens. The guy wants to bang Minkyung, but then he keeps seeing a different girl. Then some random guy calls the main dude and wants to exchange girls. Then they finally exchange girls.

So, if you're like me, you're like "So....what the fuck just happened...and why?" If I'm gonna watch an MV that's almost seven minutes long, I'd like it to make sense or some shit.

While I'm happy that Haeri sang almost all of the song (yes, I'm one of the few people who like Haeri more than Minkyung. I know, I'm supposed to like the pretty one instead of the one that can sing. Oh wait, this isn't an idol group.) Too bad this is probably the worst Davichi song I've listened to (I haven't listened to all of their songs.) I've seen many people on my Twitter timeline say the other songs are better...so is Kim Kwang Soo doing the "let's promote the worst song" tactic on Davichi now?

Back to the MV, they really should have gotten someone else to play the main girl. Minkyung cannot act at all. I've read so many articles about her shitty her acting is, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt since I never watched the drama she was in (it was too fucking long for me.) Then I watched this MV and it's apparent that she can't act at all.

So, while it saddens me, skip this song. Worst Davichi title track I've listened to + Minkyung's bad acting + a story that makes no sense makes this a huge disappointment.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Here's the deal. She's undisputedly one of the most beautiful Kpop idols around (feel free to argue otherwise), but she has never connected with me on an emotional or intellectual level. In fact, she's done quite the opposite. Posing as a cat out of the blue (it's probably a DSP side-promotion tactic; the girls have been posting an assload of selcas) and posting shit as stupid as"Running through the Serengeti plains like a predator!"

I mean ...... really.

Seeing her pathetic "debating skills" on 100/100 really didn't help either (side note: Lee Taesung owned that shit, to anyone who remembers). Regardless, I'm shallow as fuck, so Jaekyung will probably remain near the top of my Rainbow bias list. /unashamed

Heechul likes dick, not pussy. Get real, come on now. His mangina likes getting serviced during Suju's epic orgies by the dozen (isn't that one of your x-rated fantasies in those creepy fanfics?)

We all know that he's going to drop the soap on purpose when his army stint commences.

Dear Elfs, stick to working for santa and perving on kids bulk-buying Suju's shitty repackaged albums so that they win at those crappy year end awards that everyone cares about so fucking much. We just really want you bitches to quit whining about SNSD owning their pathetic asses at GDA, this shit ain't cute.

This week's question (the last one for August before most people return to school) is:

Who are the best AND worst composers / producers / arrangers for K-pop artists?

Gee, I am actually really exited to see your answers on this Good Day. My Intuition tells me that all the answers will not be Black&White because everyone has different opinions on what is a good song or not.

Some people might think I am Crazy and tell me to Go Away, and please do not think I am a Bad Guy, but I actually kind of like E-tribe. And I am biased towards Bang Shi Hyuk (soley because of 2AM), Brave Brothers (only because I heart After School), Teddy (yes, I love 2NE1 and Big Bang. Suck it), and Tablo (because who doesn't love Epik High). But I'll Back Off So You Can (Live Better) say your own opinion as I don't Like Being Hit by a Bullet.

So Let me see YA answers-answers (YAYAYA)!

(You see what I did there? I put song titles of some of these composers' hit songs. Eh? Ehhh? ;p)
(Don't judge me)

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com. Thanks!

She'll be on the DL for a while, but I heard Daesung was driving around and saw her riding in a van. Don't miss her too much while she is away. Also, she might have some more plastic surgery done during her off-time. Looking forward to her new look!

Oh, and ALL YOU HATERS out there... you need to understand... a woman has needs!

Top secret: I'm making fun of how rumors start but let's see who takes it seriously.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Whatever you're doing, no, whatever you're trying to achieve, stop it. Just spare us the horror. You may think you have them fooled, but your fans simply aren't buying it... well most of them aren't.... okay most of them are.

I'm going to withdraw as an author early because school's already started for me. I think I bit off a bit more than I could chew when I signed up for like 9001 APs. So since I won't be writing any more articles there's no point in tagging along haha. Thanks for the support, it's been fun.

Divided by the 62 Days it has been out that is about 0.21 million average daily viewing power.

4minute's Mirror Mirror has 3.78 million views.

Divided by the 143 Days it has been out that is about 0.02 million average daily viewing power.

So, Hyunah has roughly ten times the viewing power of the other 4minute members, and this is even being generous since Hyunah is featured in the Mirror Mirror MV.

Now, suppose we take this figure of viewing power and estimate Bubble Pop's future views to equal the number of days Mirror Mirror has been out. That's 81 days at 0.21 so you have an additional 17.01 million views for a total of 30.45 million views after 143 days.

Now, take Hyunah's total viewing power of 143 days divided by 5 (since she has to share screen time with the other members of the group) and you get 6.09 million views that Mirror Mirror should have. From this we can tell that not only was Hyunah responsible for every view that Mirror Mirror got, but there were 2.31 million times that Hyunah fans didn't even bother watching it because of the other girls getting in the way 4/5 of the time.

Of course, there are some further variables to be calculated which may alternatively explain the 2.31 million view gap, such as the effect of dropoff on the Mirror Mirror MV views from the moment the Bubble Pop teaser was released and onwards, but I don't have weekly tracking numbers to calculate that and I would be too lazy to do so anyway.

I don't think this would ever happen with B2ST, so I think this is enough evidence that Hyunah should go solo, especially since the other 4minute members get an even cut when Hyunah does solo work... They must really love her.

Recently, F(x)'s Amber or affectionately known amongst fans as 'Manber oppa' has shocked fans and netizens once again. Photos of Amber's girlfriend which surfaced on an internet community board have garnered much attention from netizens and fans alike. What has heightened the buzz surrounding the new couple is that her girlfriend is none other than Japan's top girl group AKB48's resident tomboy Sayaka Akimoto.

Netizens left comments such as :

'Wow they both look like trannies, must be a match made in heaven'

'NOOOOOOOOOO! Manber oppa's dick belongs to me and me only T___T, I will not get deflowered by anyone else!'

'I wonder what Manber oppa feels about his girlfriend being more talented than him!!!'

'I am very disappointed in Manber oppa, who will I ship Krystal with now? That crying bitch Luna? hell no! KRYBER FOREVAHHHH!'

Furthermore, we hear that some Amber fans are delighted by their idol's budding relationship and have decided to embrace Amber's look in hopes of scoring a girlfriend like Sayaka too.

Meanwhile somewhere in Japan Sayaka's ex-girlfriend Sae Miyazawa is practising her punches so that she gets to stuff her fist in Amber's face one day.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Earlier (way back in the day), I wrote an article about Crispi Crunch's comeback teaser involving a guy essentially lighting his cigarette with a lighter and an aerosol can. Which was pretty badass, but essentially meant instant: "BANNED".

So, these classy gentlemen decided to do something a little more child friendly:

Sexy.

But then, of course, there is an uproar amongst the brilliant, concerned, and open-minded netizens claiming:
"This will teach our youth all the wrong things!""How can they show this? This is against the Bible!""GAY"
"God doesn't love you."
"LOL! TROLOLOLOLOL~""GAYYYYYYYYY""How can they allow gay people to become idols!? Will their music make me gay?!?!""UBER GAYYYYYYYYYAYAAYYAAYYYYYY"

Come on, people! They did not even kiss. Besides. It is not like they even liked it.

But getting back to the point. I cannot believe that double standards are making their way into the Korean music scene! This is atrocious! Never have I ever seen people on the internet use double standards or even criticize homosexuality. I am appalled at you netizens. I used to think so highly of you because of the intellectual conversations I have seen you hold between each other over comment sections. And much of my improvements in regards to grammar, spelling, and syntax have come from reading your scholar-like input. I am ashamed. (incase some of you need me to spell it out: Yes, I am being sarcastic. Crazy isn't it. Now that you know, the slower people will not have to comment about my "close-mindedness" or "inability to see that netizens criticize all the time". Yes, idiots. All of us are aware of that. We authors sometimes use this new thing called "sarcasm". Just so you know. )

Seriously, though. ELFs go craaaazy when members kiss each other and feel each other up on stage. But when two, shirtless, (fake) sweaty men touch each others' naked chests and lean in for a kiss, with one licking his lips in anticipation, it is instantly "WRONG" and "INAPPROPRIATE". 12 year old girls, please learn what "double standards" means. And then learn to avoid it. Your delusional existence is what hurts us normal people's brain cells and cognitive functions. Stupidity is like a virus amongst you silly fangirls.

I'm getting off track again. I suppose what I mean is: why can girls go around kissing each other for fanservice without repercussions? Why can Heechul go around molesting every boy idol in sight and be considered "cute"? It is just not fair. Female idols (including Sheechul) can do whatever they want to each other in public, but these specific men cannot make out and touch each others' bodies on teasers.

Sometimes life is just not fair.

(Note: I know there is a lot of male idol fanservice. I am fully aware that it exists. I just wrote this to sound like there is a double standard between genders considering there is a sudden uproar over this teaser, most likely because these men are older than the younger boys who kiss during their performances.)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I don't think you kiddies realize the fucking time these so-called "whores" put into their replies. Each comment is written with the utmost care and treated with the delicacy of a newborn-fucking-baby. And have you seen the colors they use? The never-before-seen fonts, the universally lovable messages, the omnipresent "XD"; shit is fuckingart. You can't blame them for wanting the ultra cool badges; I want that shit too. You can't hate them for wanting thumbs; everybody needs love (sounds like a certain Miley Cyrus song). They're human beings like us, they simply have a heightened sensitivity t -enter intellectually complex bullshit here-

And props to you Youtube thumb-whores. I'd never have the audacity to straight upask for thumbs. Fuck subtlety, the "gimme that shit" mentality is taking over; fuck yeah. Rock on, bros.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Remember that time last year when half (1/3) of JYJ started getting some awful tramp stamps, presumably to cope with the hard times?
He gives that dude who gets killed off in Harry Potter then gets reincarnated as a vampire in some spinoff (yes that Cullen dude) a run for his blood. Not a flattering shade of straw, and he and Goo Hara are compatible footmates.

Apparently he's pretty tight with Boom cuz there he was at his military discharge, where he happened to meet his long lost brother in Eunhyuk (and lol at Suju wearing suits vs. Jay wearing "American Casual").

Then I got to thinking. I was pretty certain Jay's new style looked really familiar, and then it hit me.
Jay says: Say no to meth, man!

No...not really. If we are going to do it, we are going to do it right and put a bag "on top" of that face.

The song is ok, but the MV is just...terrible. If there were more boob shots it might have been better, but I saw so many close ups of alien face. We all know her face is awkward as hell, but this video just loves emphasizing it.

Yeah we get it that you're watching this to fap to Eric oppar and his stache but these Youtube thumbs up whores need to come up with something new, shit gets old real quick.

Now that's sorted let's get to reviewing the song & the MV.

Now I'm not a bandwagon autotune/synthesizer hater since I do love me some delicious electro-pop (Capsule f'yeah) but this is so beyond fail it isn't even funny. It sounds like some shitty Euro-pop that SM likes to remake and give to Fail(x) for the lulz of it. If the beat was decent the distorted vocals wouldn't have been much of a problem since I'm pretty used to Jpop songs that incorporate distorted voices to make them sound super kawaii.

That thing at 0:57 scares me, it's bad enough that she looks like the trannylicious version of SNSD's Sunny...furthermore it really doesn't help that her voice makes me want to kill a kitten or castrate Kwanghee.

There is an ahjumma in the group at 1:13. Now what I don't get is why the fuck is she wearing that ensemble when she looks about my mother's age? I do not want to see my mother wearing something as horrid as that nor do I want to see someone who could possibly pass as my mother wear something as ridiculous as that. Like come on, haven't we all been trolled by JYP's plastic pants enough? Stylists who work with these oldies...please just stop. Our eyes do not wished to be constantly gauged in concentrated hydrochloric acid. Lord have mercy on our souls.

As expected, Eric was arguably the best thing about the MV. However his monotonous part reminded me of LMFAO...not sure if that's something good or bad, it's just umm...there?

Now I do realize that it's their debut song and I should give them another chance since most rookies have some atrocious tracks when they debut e.g. Chi Chi, which eventually gets refined (hopefully) over a span of a few months, therefore keeping that in mind I will choose to be indifferent towards them until they come up with some better material.

If it's true that Eric produced this then....lololololol fail. Please do stick to making fangirls jizz, save us the ear rape bro.

And I don't want to hear that inexhaustible "boobs" excuse here, I'm talking about her facial features. Which are, of course, as damn buttery as they get. I know beauty is subjective, but damnit, there are fucking standards. She's like an inferior Victoria (as many of you know, I don't even like her), and, her "d-cups" (can anyone confirm this?) appeal to me a lot less than, say, Krystal's pedo-bait body.

And before anyone says shit, yes, I know she's a decent singer. Regardless, the only reason she's gotten this far (in comparison to other singers) is solely because of her titanic breasts.

While I do somewhat like the korean version of A it's not on my "Play more than once or twice" playlist. The Korean version of the music video was decent with the ab dance, but I didn't like how they all looked. They had some nice outfits, but the music video just emphasized the stereotype "All Asians look alike".

Anyways I digress.

The Japanese version is a lot better. They have better outfits and are way sexier.

I LOVE THE AB DANCE

Jaekyung and that one ugly short haired girl even look decent in the music video.

Hyunyoung though...so fucking hot.

"A" also doesn't sound that bad in Japanese. This song seems to flow a lot better than other translated songs *coughanySMEsong*, but I don't know much about either language so whatever.

*FAP FAP FAP*

Rainbow should stay in Japan and never return to Korea. At least in Japan they can dress skimpy and have sexy dances...

So honestly I wouldn't have even known this existed if they hadn't kicked ass on M! Countdown. And they really did, mind you. It was a fantastic debut stage, so I didn't expect to go on youtube and find this MV which seems to have cost about $500 to put together. If their popularity manages to catch up to their skill, they'll earn back what the agency spent on them at least tenfold. I would have linked their performance as well but it isn't on youtube so you'll just have to trust me. The song sounds like something from CCM mixed with something from 2PM, not bad.

Sucks that I had to listen to 4 shit songs before I got to a song I like. This is my first time listening to Jaurim (I know, wtf) but the chick's voice doesn't sound that great in this song. The actual music is pleasant to listen to and over the course of the song I found her voice to be less distracting. Must be because I've heard voices that annoy me even more.

I have heard about Jaurim and know they're fairly respected. Too bad that international fans think shit like FT Island and CN Blue represent Korean rock.

Since a lot of Kpop fans love bitching about how there are so many idols listen to Jaurim, and as David would say, shut the fuck up.

The fuck? This is a reject of an 80s song. I wish I had never listened to it, but I feel like it's my duty to let people know not to listen to this song. Please, don't let curiosity get the best of you and listen to it. Don't.

That one chick with the short blond hair is fug. I mean seriously. How the fucking hell was she put in a group of models? Did Star Empire want to troll their fans? Oh wait, this is the same company that has ZE:A so we already know the answer is yes.

They don't need to keep saying she's 40. You can tell by how much makeup she's wearing. Sorry, I like older women, but not when they're old enough to be my mom.

Oh, about the song. Yeah, it's boring. I didn't really like it.

If any of you get turned on by 40 year old women (I'm not really against it if you are, she's just old enough to be my mom and it's freaky) she wears short shorts a lot so you can stare at the loose skin on her unrefined legs.

How ironic is it that the song is called "Remember" when the MV isn't worth remembering? It's kind of like watching a Kdrama's first episode. The guy works out. The guy showers. The guy drives an expensive car. Then the MV ends. Good thing this shit was only 2 minutes long.

The song itself wasn't bad but it just blends in with everything else. There's no dancing or anything so no one knows if this guy can do anything but look good. I'd like to wish him luck since we're tired of 80 idol groups debuting each year but with something boring like this no one will "Remember" him.

And couldn't you have picked a hotter chick for the MV? I would have been more interested if you had.

Shit fucking sucks. Groups like this is like the oxygen for this blog. Notice how only two of the girls get close ups? And they're both half Korean. The one that gets 95% of the screen time is okay, but the other chick who gets a lot of screen time is fugly.

Only good part of the song is when the song slows down and the blond chick sings. You know, I feel bad for her. She's not the greatest singer, but she could be a #2 vocalist in a real group instead of being in an idol group where the group is trying to get popular through a gimmick. Half Koreans are people too, not gimmicks. So for those of you who just thought I was an application created just to shit on fangirls and bad Kpop songs, I'm sorry, but I am human.

This song sucks, this group sucks, and I hope the blond chick has a backup plan since this group won't last two years.

And for the love of God put a mask/paper bag over that half Korean girl with the big nose. She looks like a damn dude.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

According to recent reports, SNSD is becoming wildly popular in the secluded-as-fuck North Korea. Now, I know many of you are skeptical of such reports; it is N.K. after all. Fear not readers, for I have proof: There is an instructor (in N.K.) that teaches SNSD's choreography. Impressive, right? Granted, it's only one instructor and a couple students tops, but Kpop-logic states that a couple examples are more than enough to represent a whole country.

Anyways. Netizens have deduced (again, using our flawless Kpop-logic) that this "obsession" will soon lead to a culture clash, positive change, and a fall in the much hated communist rule. Although that may be a bit much to ask for, perhaps the girls will get a chance to perform in North Korea, and factor in as a (very, very, very) small factor in the eventual (hopefully) unification of North & South Korea. There was a time where the two were one, you know.

Listen to that crowd! They don't give a flying fuck that T-ara is lazily lipsyncing the whole showcase. The girls have been waiting two years for a sweet gig like this. Be cute, be loved, get money, go home. No netizens bitching about how they didn't sing loud enough or smile wide enough, just pure adoration for no real reason except for the fact that OMG THEY'RE T-ARA! ...isn't that the reason we named them idols in the first place?

Super8Bit, a new female punk rock trio, will be debuting with an EP on August 16.

Apparently they have toured Japan already (under a different name of Shorty Cat) and won some awards already such as "Best Rookie of the Month" and even performed at the 2011 Incheon Pentaport Rock Festival.

I was excited to hear this as I can appreciate punk rock. But then I was disappointed when I saw this:

This is one of the rare times where I wish the teaser was wrong. So very wrong.

Silly girls. I get that you are trying to be "edgy" and "cool", but that is not how you put on make-up. You can maybe look like that the next morning, but you do not start the night by looking like that. Also, you in the middle with the bubble gum all over your face? That is gross. And upon first glance, it definitely did not look like that was gum plastered all over your face. You will now have to smear peanut butter all over to get that off (or risk ripping out your eyelashes).

I also do not mean to judge their looks from a measly 44 second teaser, and maybe it is just the badly applied make-up, but their eyes kind of scare me. They look like they are high on drugs with those dark raccoon bags and baggy eyelids, looking straight into your soul. Hungry for something...

Also, I realize that the man drumming in the back is not part of the group, but when I look at him, for some reason I think of poor Janghyun in Sunny Hill. He has such a beautiful voice, but is shafted by all the women as he "does not fit the song". BS. I bet he composed the songs moreso than the others, so he can probably "fit" it damn well if he wanted. Damn women, always putting themselves first. How selfish. They should consider themselves lucky that all 4 of them are not making him sandwiches everyday as they promote. They should be happy he did not make their comeback, "Midnight Kitchen Snack"!

But I digress.

Finally, on an interview, they were asked about their band's name. The girls revealed, "When time goes by, everything changes, but we didn’t want to be something that changed. In order to retain the memories of our youth, we were reminded of the older 8-bit games and thus named ourselves ‘Super 8 Bit’".

OH you girls. You are so silly thinking you have an actual say in what you do from your entrainment company. Enjoy what little control you have over your music now. Soon you will be selling out your punk rock image and electric guitars for higher heels and shorter skirts. No one can stay punk rock forever, right Avril Lavigne?

This one comes from one of our readers. Tina asks:
"To straight, male fans: what kind of boy groups do you guys like to listen to/watch? What do you look for? Looks? Muscle? Singing ability? Humour? Dance skills?"

The same question can be said for girls as well. What girl groups do the ladies love to listen to/watch performances of? What do you look for in them? Talent (haha)? Dancing skills (AHAHA)? Singing ability (LOL-erpalooza)? Sexiness? "Aegyo"?

Thank you, Tina, for your submission!

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com. Thanks!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

*Yes. I'm aware that my ass just got fired. BUT! I like this blog and i'm not gonna be hatin' on it. So, I have until the end of the month right? I'll keep doing articles till then.*
I double checked and I see that NO ONE has posted about this yet! Dear sirs, I am quite shocked! Yeah, i'm slow on it too, but I like titties less than you do so I have an excuse :P.

So what the hell am I talking about? Apparently on Dream Team 2 they had a few girl group members do some type of slip-n-slide on blocks of ice....yup, let that soak in for a second. I wouldn't really care but they have the amazing HYUNYOUNG and BORA take part in this epic event! I may not talk about hot girls alot, but I've always had a thing for those two. How was I going to miss out on seeing them slide their titties across a slip-n-slide?! The only complaint I have is that they HAVE to be wearing some thick bra padding because they're rubbing all on this fucking ICE and their nipps don't come out and say hi at all.

The video is a bit long, but there's Girl's Day, Rainbow, Sistar, and Dal Shabet. There's also some troll faces that got in like gag women, CSJH, Nine Muses (yes the bodies are hot but the faces are not), and two of the fugliest members of Rania. Oh well.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Apparently many of you readers (the perverted boys) want more hot girl photos. So being the classy girl I am, I chose a few choice ones for you guys to look at.

Whenever I look at this selca, I think, "At what point were these girls thinking: 'Hey! You know what'd be a good idea? For us to smear white vanilla ice cream on our luscious pink lips while having our talented mouths hovering over the creamy mess. And then take a picture and post it online! kekeke~' ?"

Young ladies, you are both under-aged. I am as disappointed in your indecent exposure as I was with Jiyeon and HyunA. Maybe when you girls are older, you both can also take off your shirts like Rain does in his promotions. But then be banned for it due to double standards.

But seriously, I am sure boys with tumblrs are all over this picture.

If you girls wanted to make "cute" pucker faces, maybe you guys could take a lesson from Suzy:

"Hmm... this picture would be a lot better with kitty ears" as I'm sure davidfresh would say.

Or maybe even one of the seven ladies from Nine Muses:
I'm just joking. This picture was banned even before it was supposed to be officially released. Good try though, Star Empire Entertainment. You were on the right track of doing what every other entertainment company does to their girls who aren't succeeding well in the music industry. Sexy-fying and whoring out your ladies. It helps that all seven are models, too.

But girls, if you want to take a good selca, do not take a lesson from SISTAR.

"Please please pleaaaaaseeee listen to our music"

Girls, if at any point you have to BEG people to listen to your music, that is never a good sign. Maybe you should try improving your music and talents instead of looking desperate and trying to get pity fans like Hyogre does in Europe.

Recently, I expressed my affections for Jia and her sex-hungry mentality. However, it has come to my attention that she has one feature in particular that make her stand out as one of of the most beautiful women in Korea (you heard me). Her magnificent nose. Netizens (from one eloquent blog in particular) have been praising her carefully sculpted nose, going as far as to call her "the classic Avatar-girl". As one doctor explained, "Flat and wide is the trend now, and those with noses that fit the description have been coined 'Avatar-girls'. Jia's nose is pretty damn flat and wide, so many teens who wish to have a similar nose-shape voted for her as the best Avatar-girl".

Although her nose is simply not as demanding as KRS-One's nutrient-absorbing ... brain on his face, it is indeed a formidable protuberance that sets her apart from and above her fellow Kpop stars.

- Suckmydee won't be an author. She'll be on for the design. mynameisnotsuzy will be here for the same reason.
- Shin-B will be on for her Question of the Week articles and an occasional article if she wishes.
- The main authors are gonna be David, Ahjussi, ADKF, mondegreen and myself.

This will take effect September 1st.

As for the rest of the authors, you have done well, but I'll admit it was a mistake to let so many authors on so quickly with such leniency regarding the articles. I do hope you guys stick around for the comments, the chat, etc. If you all do leave and create your own blog (individually, together, etc.) then let me know and we can affiliate.

I chose the authors based on the original direction blog. This blog was becoming out of control for me and not what I had wanted. Just want simple articles that points out the shit that needs to be pointed out, making fun of what needs to be made fun of, posting articles about hot chicks (because there are more than enough Kpop blogs focused on the guys) and the trolling articles here and there.

I see that Korea is finally ready to embrace the 21st century and is debuting a tittie girl group. I'm all excited, thinking even if they're a group of G.nas that'd be ok I can still paper bag it, aaaaaaand then I get this shit.

^THEY GIVE SNSD A RUN FOR WORST SYNCHRONIZATION

What the hell is this, where's the boobs, if you're going to debut them as "the boob group" at least put them in some flattering clothing, k? Holy sheeeeet it's an entire group of butterfaced Jung Juris.

I don't like getting trolled by Korea, and damn this was a low blow.

“We joined our company after we saw a notice saying they’re looking for tall singers. Once all of the members came together, we all averaged 170 cm in height, and all had D-cup breasts as well. We’ll be using that as our differentiating factor, and thus debut in the industry with our sexiness.”

Damn they make Hyuna look like one of those nuns from the Sound of Music.

Okay, the new rule I started after T-ara's Yayaya is that whenever I listen to an E-Tribe song, I pretend I don't know Korean. It's actually a bit taxing trying to block out all of the Korean lyrics. Why do I do this? E Tribe's songs have the worst lyrics in Kpop...and we know that most idol songs are lyrical masterpieces. E-Tribe just sucks so much dick when it comes to writing half decent lyrics for an idol song. Seriously, it can't be that hard.

As for the song itself, it's just E-Tribe trying to be retro like everyone else. So they say "disco" in this song but I don't get a disco vibe from this song at all. It's another electronic song.

Jessica looks cute (I didn't bother looking up their names) but the rest of the girls are like the looters in London and my boner is like the stores and shops in London. The other girls made me flaccid.

The rap is fucking terrible. Not Hwayoung terrible, but terrible enough that I want to skip over it every time I hear it.

I don't have much to say about the dance. You can't really say they copied T-ara since T-ara took their dance moves from retro songs. But using the same moves as another song that's being currently being promoted is pretty sad.

Oh, our old man Ahjussi alerted me about SNSD's Be Happy. I had erased that song from my memory (for good reasons, the Oh album blows) and the songs do seem a bit similar. Did E-Tribe also compose this piece of shit? Anyway, Bling Bling is the listenable version to that piece of shit Be Happy by SNSD.

As usual with E-Tribe: listen to the instrumental and pretend that the song with lyrics doesn't exist, because it blows...like a category 5 hurricane.

Before we start, yeah, i've been gone for awhile but I highly doubt anyone has been really missing my articles.

So on to HyunA. Okay, most of us know that "Bubble Pop" was banned and HyunA was to start promotions for her follow-up track soon. Well, we just got a glimpse at this...piece of shit performance.

Jesus HyunA, your rapping could liquify a unicorn's brain. It's like talking...but with a bit of an "urban" feel to it. And at least be able to stay on beat the whole time! But since we all know HyunA is made to LOOK AT not HEAR, let's just get on to the other performance aspects.

First off, Dok2 was replaced by Zico from Block B for the performances. Zico even wrote his own rap for it and blah blah blah. Really Zico? I really like your music and all but you should have listened to this horrible song and backed the fuck off. But, I won't totally hate on you for using this as an opportunity for more exposure (because God knows Block B needs it...).

As for HyunA. WHO THOUGHT OF THIS PERFORMANCE CONCEPT?! So she's sitting in a chair at the beginning? Okay, nothing wrong with that, it's done in kpop all the time. Then she stands up and pretty much just looks over her shoulder the whole time, no dance or at least variety of movement (though she's got girls dancing all around this trick!). Bitch then goes and sits down some more and lets Zico rap for a quite a while considering this is just a featured rapper. Then it's just sitting and standing with HyunA. If she's going to put on a shitty performance, AT LEAST DO WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND BE HALF NAKED!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

They were so awkward, Im not really sure what it was that did them in, but there was quite a bit. I get that the choreographer wanted to try something sexy ala RDR (which was also tragic in the "dance sexy" department), but this was just awful.

I think one of the problems is that most and when I say most I mean about 7 of these girls can't dance for shit. We all know that Hyoyeon or as she is so affectionately known, Hyogre (which btw, is really mean lol) is the best dancer in this group,she isn't the best ever but with this bunch, she might as well be Michael Jackson.They had her hidden away in the back,kinda like how Princess Fiona was locked in that tall tower, with only a few seconds of screen time. I thought that the one who looks like a mouse, what's her face Taeyson,Taeyoen Taeyeon or however you spell it,did pretty good as well. The rest looked like they were trying hard to remember which move is next, "Omo what do I do next? Oh the awkward dry humping move,that my boney ass (here's looking at you Sooyoung) can't do properly."

For the sake of visuals they kept the "prettiest" girls in the middle,which is a very SME thing to do,but it backfired,because they were the worst of the bunch and all you wanted to do was look away.

The concept was hahahahahahaha! I thought it was a little ridonk.

They were "biker chicks" with Jean cut-offs and leather and bikes and shit,but then they hit us with jersey guidettes,with the leopard print tights and big hair.

WHAT WAS THIS FUCKERY?

If you've got gifs please share,Im to damn lazy to make any.

Edit (Suckmydee) :

Sunny being the photo bomb/video bomb that she is. No surprises there. The biker -chic look on her just fails horribly, good thing she didn't incorporate any of her barf-inducing aegyo. Is it me or she looks like a farmer's wife who just came back from milking the cows?

The last time I saw someone walk like that was a cross-dresser in Picadilly Circus (London) or a person with STD's....or the former could have been her.

Furthermore, I spot Sones spazzing over how 'daebak' and 'jjang' (English speakers who use romanized Hangul constantly...I'll give you a badge with a fail logo on it for free.) the MV is on Tumblr and 6theory. Anyone who disagrees with the Scientology cult whoops, I mean Sonetology cult with their ever-so-threatening 'power of 9' banner...hide yo kids and yo wife is all I have to say.

When I first read the article (in English) I was like "wtf? For real? Milk girl? Are they making shit up again?" Then I clicked the link for the Korean article ans saw "우유녀." 우유 is "milk" and 녀(女) is "girl." Naturally, when I think of women and milk I think of big tits. But...Yuri won...and she has the body of fucking Skeletor. Well, it's better to have the body of Skeletor than the face of Skeletor ala Nancy Pelosi.

That hag is Skeletor in female form. I fucking swear. And every time I see her face on TV I get scared.

But back to the poll. Yuri beat out Kim Sarang. Kim fucking Sarang.

So this pole is telling me Yuri beat out Kim Sarang when Kim Sarang could easily produce more milk than Yuri ever could? Blasphemy.

Sorry for anyone who gets a heart attack after seeing Nancy Pelosi's "face."

That's right, kiddies. You all heard it. This is Anti Kpop-Fangirls' first collaborative article between davidfresh and me. We thought working together (she did most of the work) would be a good idea for multiple reasons:
1) It's been a slow month. Good news has been far and few.
2) Apparently I'm too nice. David is too mean (I've never heard that. Never). Therefore, together we will create a mediocre and bland article.

First good news of the month:
DJ Tukutz is back from the army.
It has been a long 2 years (to be fair, he doesn't contribute much to the group musically; he's just a funny dude). All that's left is for Mithra to return (as he went in a year ago) and we will have the holy trinity back. Epik High, we miss you (we really fucking do).

Secondly, another famous trio has returned. Koyote, a group I've never heard of, has made a comeback with the song "If You Don't Like it Now" (powerhouse Shinji, lovable Jongmin, and dead-weight Baekga are together again. I think I'm going to fucking cry). It's not bad. I kinda like it. But I have nothing to compare it to as I don't know shit about their old stuff . Their template is like 8eights' where one guy sings, the other raps, and the girl hits the ungodly high notes.

The group apparently had to go on hiatus for 2 years due to a member (Baekga) having to recover from a brain tumor (I was getting ready to bid him farewell, pity lolwut).

Lastly: this could be made into a post of its own. In short, we (she) want to talk about how teasers are the shit and raise very high expectations. ... Until we see the actual MV and are horribly disappointed much of the time (very true. Although kitty ears on Suzy weren't disappointing at all, for the most part). I wanted to bring this up because I recently saw a debut teaser for an up and coming MALE SOLOIST (not many of those out there, so I am fudging excited), EI (the song is produced by Brave Brothers, don't be too excited).

Please... please don't disappoint like Boyfriend:

Look at those sexy (BUT UNDER-AGED. FFFUUUUU-) (and sometimes fish-eyed) boys. Bet that teaser made a lot of ladies' panties as wet as those boys are on the water floor. But calm down your raging hormones! The MV will surely blow your mind:

...
Wait. What? What!? What just happened? Who are they? What happened to the sexy dancing boys from the teasers!? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!?!?!
Well. It was bound to happen. An entire boy group of eunuchs. Lovely.
But fear not ladies, these young men certainly have plenty of time to grow and become men (or fish) (or as the fans will turn them into, metro-sexual boys who will question their identity). Plus, so far, their performances have shown clean and clear dance moves like INFINITE (<3). Which is pretty damn impressive.
Also, how do they expect to share ONE girl amongst SIX boys!? (oh, I'm sure they'll manage. Before she came along, all they needed was a bar of soap).

So in short, entertainment companies, we all understand that you give us golden teasers to tempt us into buying all your shit AND eat it up, too, with your MVs and CDs and such. But sometimes, it is almost worse to give something beautiful, and then take it away (blue balls) or give something mundane. Maybe, and this could just be me, just give us a teaser of what we should actually expect instead of making many fans cry themselves to sleep asking "Whyyyyy!?".

Then again, you sneaky people you, you know all your delusional fans will follow you no matter what craziness you throw at them *cough* Super Junior's Mr. Simple teasers *cough* (colors...... too....... bright).