WE KID YOU NOT

Every weekend we put in our high school ministry weekend program a small section titled “We kid you not.” We also have an outline to follow and bible verses and a bible study and announcements and yatta yatta. But this part is usually just random junk we found on the internet that remotely associated with the topic and dumped in just for sheer comedy sake.

This week, we are talking about “Anthropomorphism”. Which is speaking of God in human terms. So of course, I decided to go in search of some half god, half ______creatures where people merged humanity and imagery and deity into something funky. I found this greek mythology website and some facts and well… this week I compiled them into the following list which our students will get this weekend.

SATYR= half human, half goat. roamed the woods and mountains and were very sexual beings. We just type what we read people.

CENTAUR = half human, half horse. body of a horse with the torso of a man attached where the horses neck would start.

SPHYNX = half bird, half woman. Sits at the base of a mountain pass and asks travelers a riddle. If they fail, she eats them.

ECHIDNA= a half woman, half-serpent monster who ate men raw. Note to self: not a good prom date.

MINOTAUR= a half man, half bull. This one has a man’s body and a bull’s head. It ate 7 teen boys and 7 girls sent annually from Athens. If you text in service, we will let it loose in here. It’s hungry. Athens stop feeding it a long time ago. It will eat you and your phone.

TYPHON= half man, half snake. Almost killed Zeus. But with some help, Zeus killed him. Don’t mess with a typhon or Zeus.