Carl W. Kenney II is an award winning columnist and novelist. He is committed to engaging readers into a meaningful discussion related to matters that impact faith and society. He grapples with pondering the impact faith has on public space while seeking to understand how public space both hinders and enhances the walk of faith.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Black men: shut up and listen to black women

“It's no use of talking unless people understand what you say.”

Zora Neale Hurston

That quote by Queen Zora has been
on my mind for the past few days.A lot of
people are talking, but few understand what is being said.

I’ve been listening to a chorus
of screams.It shows up in a variety of
ways: political battles, conversations about race, problems facing youth, and
on and on and - you get the point.

“it’s no use of talking unless people understand what you say,” Hurston said.

Black women are screaming.Is anyone listening?

It’s happening on a number of
fronts.Black women want to define the
terms related to their bodies.They are
way past being sick and tired of men communicating legitimate sexuality.They are tired of the contradiction that
affirms the sexual expression of men while shaming women who love their body
and who search for ways to express what it means to be created in the image of
a female God.

Women are sick of being blamed
for the construction of rape culture.They are fed up with hearing it’s the fault of their wardrobe that men
objectify their body for the purpose of self-gratification.Women, like men, desire the freedom to
celebrate sexual pleasure in language that is their own.

Women are nauseated by language
of submission.They are tired of verbiage
that uses the Bible to justify sexism.They want to be treated the same as men, and demand accountability of
those who use their power and privilege to limit their voice.They have the right to demand being served by
women clergy.They have the right for
God to be referenced as both male and female, or to hear language that
celebrates the inclusion of women.

Black men need to listen.

It could be that the notion of
listening and hearing is a new phenomenon toward the reconstruction of black
masculinity.My friend Mark Anthony
Neal, author of Looking for Leroy:
Illegible Black Masculinity, has paved the way for conversations related to
how black masculinity has been read in popular culture.Reframing discussions regarding black
masculinity creates space for a discussion about black patriarchy, misogyny,
sexism and sexual violence.

Perspectives regarding womanist
and feminist perspectives are incased within the terms and conditions of black
men. Black women deserve to be heard, but not on the footing of the men who
seek to control the platform for these discussions.A space must be found for an open, ongoing
reflection on how black patriarchy hinders the voice of black women.

The brothers need to get out of
the way.

Power assumes the right to speak,
how to speak, when to speak and the terms of speaking. Power shames those who
speak outside approved terms.Privilege
grants value to conversations rooted in suppositions grounded in a male worldview.
Power prescribes meaning and merit to words.

Women are being told to shut
their mouth.

It shows up when men tell women
how they feel with little regard for how words are heard. It shows up when the
language of black women’s pain is forced within the context of the black man’s
struggle.It shows up when black women
are accused of claiming solidarity with white women at the expense of black
allegiance.

As painful as it may be to listen
as black women tell their truth about how it feels to be black and woman, black
men need to listen. As hard as it may be to admit ones actions have hindered
black women – you have to listen.Even
when it hurts, and, yes, even when it exposes demons lurking in your kitchen,
you have to listen as black women stir the pot of hostility.

It’s hard for black men to hear the
word patriarchy used to define their role in hindering women.It’s easier to limit its usage to white men
with power beyond their own.As easy as
it may be to reject patriarchy as a real possibility, it’s critical for black
men to listen as women express truth as they live it, versus rejecting their
understanding of how privilege and power shows up.

Shut your mouth, is the common
refrain.

Black men reject the truth of
black women by reminding them of their own.We, black and brown men, suffer from hostile public policies.We, black men, endure rampant discriminatory
practices that shows up in a variety of ways.We are arrested devoid of evidence.We are convicted and sentenced based on racial bias, and denied access
to work and promotion.

All of that may be true, but
asserting such doesn’t nullify the truth asserted by black women.The lack of power and privilege in certain
places doesn’t quash how it shows up between black men and women.It shows up in matters of the body and
sexuality.It harms women when men use
the Bible to enforce submission, and brute strength is applied to limit a woman’s
freedom.

It may be difficult for black men
to concede the language of patriarchy due to the assumptions related to their
own sense of subjugation.Black men disregard
how patriarchy shows up by limiting the way it is used to convey the rage of black
women.Black men hide behind the injustices
and practices of bigotry.Black men
demand attention related to the ongoing struggle to gain freedom.They demand being heard, and they have reason
to scream.

Black men need a place to share
their stories.No one should be
silenced.

But you are not the only group
that needs to be heard.

Tell your truth, but take time to
listen.Listen to the women.They have a story to share, and they are
begging us to listen.We have no right
to tell them how to think or feel.

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Carl W. Kenney II

Carl was named the best serious columnist of 2011 by the North Carolina Press Association for his work with the News & Observer's community paper The Durham News and in 2016 by the Missouri Press Association for his columns in the Columbia Missourian. He is a columnist with the News & Observer and Co-Executive Producer of "God of the Oppressed" an upcoming documentary film on black liberation theology. He is a former Adjunct Professor at the University of Missouri - School of Journalism and Adjunct Instructor at Duke University, the Center for Documentary Studies. He received his Bachelor’s degree in Journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia. He furthered his education at Duke University and attained a Master of Divinity. He was named a Fellow in Pastoral Leadership Development at the Princeton Theological Seminary on May 14, 2005. He is a freelance writer with his commentary appearing in The Washington Post, Religious News Services,The Independent Weekly and The Durham Herald-Sun. Carl is the author of two novels: “Preacha’ Man” and the sequel “Backslide”.
He has led congregations in Missouri and North Carolina