Gay Marriage… Leave Cake Out of It

You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna sneak up behind Bill O’Reilly when he’s on-camera… and twist off his ears? I think I would enjoy that. gay marriage

Today I want to talk about your gay marriage. That’s when your two dudes or your two lesbitarians get married. Now – we got something going on in this country called – your gay wedding cake controversy.

This is where tiny mom and pop Christian bakeries got to bake wedding cakes for gay people. It’s the law. If you don’t do it… you can go to jail. Your gay mafia will put out a hit on you. You get your life ruined. It don’t make no difference if you got some deep-seeded Christian beliefs based on something as ridiculous as… I don’t know – the Bible. gay marriage

On the other hand… your gay people – are people too. And you can’t discriminate against anybody in this country. Gay people got rights too. Gay people got the right to the pursuit of happiness just like you and me. And many times – that pursuit includes cake.

So we got us what they call ‘an impass’ on this issue. And I’ll tell you straight out – I can see both sides of the argument. But I would like to speak up for the silent victim of this fight. I would like to speak up – for cake.

Just so you know – cake is totally innocent in all of this. Cake never asked to be the center of attention. Cake never wanted none of this controversy.

Cake is delicious. Cake don’t care who you marry. Besides wedding cakes – there’s birthday cakes… cupcakes… retirement cakes… Hostess cakes… crumb-cakes. Hey – as far as I know… Betty Crocker could have been married to Aunt Jemima. It don’t make no difference – as long as she makes a good cake.

So if we’re fixing to rip this country apart – over something this stupid. Go ahead. Just don’t blame the cake.

Wake up, America!!! As you can tell – I love cake. I love America, too. Call me a dreamer – but can’t we all get together… for some cake. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Grab yourself a copy of my new book: Man Rules… And Pitts Off.