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Hondo came up short with his long shot Monday night as the Twins failed to overachieve against Tampa Bay, causing the accounts payable to grow 415 raschis.

Wednesday night: Mr. Aitch will give the Yankees the menial task of lumping up Lackey — 10 units on Pineda. Also, he expects the Phillies to defy the odds and zap Zack — 10 units on Hamels.

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Matt Harvey has decided to be a Twitter-quitter after being chastised by the Mets for posting a pre-op photo in which he was flipping the bird from his hospital bed. Looking on the bright side, this will give him more time to engage in one of his other hobbies: street-necking with super models … Purina, the pet-food maker, reportedly is opening a “cat cafe” on the Lower East Side, where patrons not only will be able to get their caffeine fix but also pet little felines as they wander around. That seems like a good way to ruin a cup of coffee.