Monday, February 15, 2010

Thoughts Almost Buried in the Snow

...a friend said she was feeling sluggish and overweight...I said it’s mid-February, everybody’s sluggish and overweight...she said thanks for the pep talk...but I don’t know if it actually helped much...

...my experience with yoga and meditation has had something...actually, I think, a lot...to do with gaining the ability to experience depression physically...locate it within my own small space rather than confusing it with life as a whole...more like a sinus headache that doesn’t physically hurt than an existential condition...a wet blanket that isn’t actually wet wrapped around the chest as opposed to a neverending river of tears...

I've developed a new philosophy....I only dread one day at a time.Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.Alfred D'Souza

...I started to worry that the plan was going to crash...wrote a blogger friend...which seemed a perfect statement of my own dilemma...even though, given the context, she obviously meant to write plane....I worry a lot more about plans crashing than planes...

...getting ready to fly away from the ice and snow for a week....the trip’s paid for, the modern American way...deficit spending...woo-hoo!....and I’m far more concerned with losing luggage than mortality...

Don't feel bad, drjay. Personally, I don't think there's anything you could say to a sluggish-and-overweight-feeling female to make her feel better. Hee...nice try, though.

The D'Souza quote reminds me a bit of a recent thought over at Writing to Survive...about feeling on the verge of change, but life getting in the way. If "real life" means "happy life" then it seems to come down to living in the moment and perceiving obstacles as challenges. Easier said than done, but maybe that's where meditation comes in? But, what do I know? I'm afraid that I'm one of those waiting for life to begin. Argh.

I worry about plans and planes. Magical thinking tells me that when I get on a plane, it'll know... I know, crazy and backwards...I need some serious desensitizing.

You'll be sorely missed, drjay, but what a great way to spend your birthday. Oooh, and I bet there are some awesome photos to be taken over there, too...

Hi Jay. Wow! Look at that SNOW... I can totally relate with the sluggish and overweight February thing... I'm glad it's not just me and some other people. Sometimes it is comforting to know that we are not alone in our challenges. Yea. And I have a cloak of sadness which makes me feel like I relate to what you're saying... My cloak seems much less relevant than it once did. I used to think it was so important, and hug it close to myself. And try to tell people all about my life's sadness... No fun! Now I think it comes to me like the idea of a flashback. I'm fine most of the time but sometimes something happens and, whoops, what am I wearing? These days it shows up like people wearing just their underwear on the Brady Bunch...sorta inappropriate. This is what I'm telling myself, you see...

I believe winter's a time to look inward and meditate, or ponder, and perhaps easier to accomplish in an agricultural society living in rhythm with nature. I find it very difficult and so have become addicted to LOST, Castle and The Good Wife. I'm sluggish and bored and sick of grey days and sick-sick-sick of boots and coats. Prefer to blame it on the barometric pressure than my own shallowness.

ah Dr. Jay, love your collection of quotes and your words... this "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life..." sounds so familiar, like when you are waiting to finish to get a job and "then" start with your life... or you start dating someone to then get married and "start" with your love life... and then you are "waiting" for a better job to feel better... we seem to always be waiting for something to live... in the meantime we are disregarding life!... you are wise Dr., glad i came around your blog path... and Charlie Brown, one of my favorite philosophers out there...

Travel well and safely Doc. what kind of life would there be if there was no tension in it, what kind of life is it when it is only filled with tension? I will no worry for nothing but the heartbeat of the moment, I will plan that the next will come but the short view turns out to be long enough for me.

Dr. Jay - very nice photo. looking at all that snow reminds me of something my child said today after we'd spent 3 hours sleighriding - aren't you cold? I asked. "It's only cold if you're not having fun."

It's true though Dr Jay... we ARE all sluggish and overweight at this time of year, and furthermore, we are supposed to be! Winter is for hunkering down and waiting out the crappy weather while eating comfort food. I mean, it has to have it's perks.

THe Snow picture looks amazing, hard for me to comprehend from this side of the world. I love that Charlie Brown quote and have used it in my Yoga for Total Wellbeing course, If we take one day at a time and be aware of our feelings we get an opportunity to allow them to pass. much love