The plot thickens: pastry-breasted recent divorceé Katy Perry has invited her friend Robert Pattinson, cuckold, to "take a break" with her. A source says, "Katy has been a rock for ­Rob. She has reassured him she is very much there for him just as he was for her when she split from Russell." Reportedly Kristen Stewart has been begging him to meet up and talk it out in New York, but he wants to take a few months to think about stuff, and Perry is there for him.

Advertisement

Despite rumors to the contrary, sparked lately when Perry was seen reading a tabloid covered by R-Patz, it seems like they're just good friends, particularly because Katy Perry is supposedly newly involved with that used Swiffer Wet Jet pad John Mayer for whatever fucking reason. [Gather Celebs, The Hollywood Gossip]

R-Patz is also seeking out a "man-to-man-chat" with Rupert Sanders, the married director with whom K-Stew had her dalliance, to find out the details. He should just ask Rupert Sanders' dad Michael, who weighed in on the whole thing today:

Advertisement

From what I gather nothing really happened and it is all a lot of fuss about nothing. I should imagine it was something very brief. She is a very pretty girl and when you work that closely with someone for so long, sometimes things happen. He is very honorable, hardworking and (a) dedicated father and filmmaker.

You heard it here first! The 22-year-old girl who cheated on her boyfriend is a slag everyone hates, and the 41-year-old married father with whom she cheated is "honorable, hard-working and dedicated." Shame on her for being so pretty that she strips grown men of their autonomy and ability to make their own choices! [NYDN]

French cops rolled up to Rihanna's party boat, the S.S. Help Me, to chide her about keeping it down but ended up getting on board and chilling with her. [Daily Mail]

Oprah's production company Harpo responds to outcries of "cultural ignorance" following her India special: "The intention of the program was to explore the beautiful culture and spirit of the country. We enjoyed the time we spent there and were touched by the people who so generously shared their stories for the show." [Kulture Kritic]

Last night TMZ asked Katie Holmes how her dinner was, and she was like "Great, thank you" and everyone FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. [TMZ

Ashton Kutcher bought Mila Kunis a $5,000 phone case with their initials spelled out in diamonds and rubies and if you rub it a genie comes out and says "You maybe should have given this money to charity? But what do I know, I'm just a genie LOL." [Monsters and Critics]

New wife Gigglemirth Thomas be damned: Alec Baldwin's stalker Genevieve Sabourin is baaaack and slapped with new charges. [NY Post]