The ongoing investigation of Sherlock Holmes, reported from the Peoria, Illinois outpost of Baker Street's dirtiest half a dozen.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Well, that's done. Dull, predictable, but done.

Pour some wine, because the season finale of Elementary brings the cheese from its first scene.

The old "Hey, somebody's trying to kill you, I'll prove it by blowing up your car!" routine is so dusty that it doesn't even produce as much as a blink. Any surprise at the event only came from the fact that CBS actually spent the money to blow up a car. They certainly never spend it on Miss Hudson, who gets referenced once again in the first post-credit scene, but only appears once per season.

The Anti-Mycroft is Mr. Elementary's client/victim again this week. The poor sad sack is depressed because his father and brother think he's an idiot and he can't seem to prove them wrong. But Joan Watson believes he's a success . . . and, well, she's obviously not sleeping with him for his looks, so she must.

"Well, you'll never guess what I found in the stockroom . . . stock," Joan Watson says in a bored fashion as the investigation moves on, and it seems almost meta.

But, hey, it's been a great season for TV finales. Did you see the season finale for Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? It had Samuel L. Jackson on it, and used him pretty well. And that wasn't even the best thing about that episode! It had some great little tricks in in, using things built on the small screen and the big screen all year long. Great fun, and that . . . .

Oh, wait, Elementary's finale is still on . . . .

Mr. Sherrington, the MI-whatever stand-in for a true Mycroft character, is apparently a suspect. And Mr. Elementary is pouting -- which in his case means instead of staring at Joan as she wakes up in the morning, he kindly leaves her a note.

"Bracing reminder that I can function efficiently as a lone deductionist," he says in Elementary-speak of the fact that he worked all night while Joan slept . . . which he does every episode anyway. Thankfully, that silly word "deductionist" hasn't gotten any traction in Sherlockian culture.

The frame of the anti-Mycroft continues and Gregson and Bell of NYPD actually seem to turn on their consultant. Mr. Sherrington shows up at Watson's door like a creepy stalker in a scene with an exciting display of Mr. Elementary's screen saver. Oh, wait, Sherrington is supposed to be threatening her . . . but thank the showrunners those screen savers are hiding a bunch of equally creepy staring gamers that are this show's stand-in for Anonymous. (Here, they're called "Everyone.") Joan Watson apparently knows how to get them staring at her via webcam at a moment's notice, which makes one wonder if Mr. Elementary isn't the only one eyeballing her as she sleeps every night. Hope she has a pay window for that, to supplement her consultant/apprentice pay.

More mopey ensues between Mr. Elementary and the anti-Mycroft. They really need to hire more actors for this show, because milking the ones they have to death really isn't doing it. What seemed like their big twist last season -- Irene Adler being Moriarty -- now seems like a simple cost-savings measure now, like their use of Mycroft as Mary Morstan. Perhaps next season Captain Gregson can be Grimesby Roylott and Detective Bell can be Lady Frances Carfax.

You know, I remain convinced that Mr. Elementary and Joan Watson will wind up lovers if this show goes on long enough without being cancelled, despite the showrunners claims to the contrary last year. The fact that she's slept with Mycroft, a man she has less connection with or attraction to, adds weight to that prediction. Well, that and the fact that they don't seem to want to add cast members and have to get as much drama as possible out of who they have.

Creepy Sherrington threatens the anti-Mycroft, but sady, he doesn't have creepy staring gamers to back him up. Yes, the show is still running. It's kind of a waiting room for whatever moment they're going to end the season on . . . Joan Watson moving out, deciding to stay, or just getting shot. Hmmm, would this show kill a major character, like its anti-Mycroft? Doesn't feel like it.

Less than ten minutes left until summer Elementary-vacation begins! Woo-hoo! The progress bar on the internet video player is full of suspense! CBS Rewards is giving me another 25 "coins" for watching this episode on the web. Maybe I can buy a web picture of a cup of coffee at some . . . .

Oh, wait, Joan is ramping up the emotion because Mycroft is going into witness protection, faking his death, and leaving her. That relationship just seems to swell up on demand. And Joan is getting her own place and Mr. Elementary is pulling out the heroin. One minute more, one more chance at something actually shocking happening to end the season -- those two bits certainly weren't it.

And . . . here it comes . . . Mr. Elementary is going to join MI-whatever with his pocket full of heroin. Hope they have a drug testing policy with their new employees. Let the wild internet fan theorizing about how Mr. Elementary will escape this awful fix begin! Oops, wrong show.

5 comments:

Huh...?!? None of this makes any sense to me. But then it probably isn't supposed to. You're a martyr in the field of Sherlockian surveillance! Suffering so that we don't have to. Let me hug you and enjoy your vacation!

The AVclub is one of the best general recap sites (especially since the demise of TwoP). They have an earnest fellow reviewing Elementary--he's acquainted with canon but generally judges the show on its own merits, such as they are.

He calls the second season "an amorphous blob." http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/elementary-grand-experiment-204741

I dropped in to see your reaction and you really went all out. Half way between snark and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I must admit that it did seem somewhat superficial and confusing but I was entertained. From our viewing of two season and the narrative arc, we can hope that next season we will have another character enter and disappear. I liked your calling out Watson-Mycroft pairing compared to Watson-Morston. I just read your past blog about TV shows. Perhaps you should mention what shows you didn't like. Have you ever given another show this level of critical review? I've tried to follow some on twitter and they watch Brett or old SH movies with onging commentary. It appears that you were writing and watching at the same time.

I've always been curious what the Granada Holmes would have been like, had we the internet back then. I'd probably have done a similar job on it, though it probably would have fared better. While I wasn't a fan of Brett's Sherlock, the show's initial fidelity was great, so it would have been an interesting mix.