Greetings earthlings! As you may recall, earlier this year I made a post listing my must-see movies for 2012. I left some off that I wanted to see but I included the most important ones I think. I said that when the year was complete I would give my opinion on all of them, and since it is December (where has the time gone?!) it looks like it’s time. So, without further ado…

Oh yeah, SPOILERS.

The Avengers

I thought it was a really good flick. I enjoyed all the call-backs to previous movies and the opportunity to see some of Marvel’s finest lumped together in one film. Loki totally stole the show for me personally, though I’m sure that’s true for most people. He has a bucket of charisma and then some. That being said, I didn’t go ape shit for The Avengers the same way some people did. I would watch it again for sure, but I wouldn’t pay to do so in theaters. I actually enjoyed Iron Man way better. Go figure.

The Amazing Spider-man

This could be considered Whedon blasphemy but I thought it was as good as The Avengers. The romance between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy spoke to my ovaries, but the action was great as well. I’m not going to lie, I got a little choked up when the construction workers lined up the cranes over the city for Spider-man to get to Oscorp tower. I love good moments like that when the hero is supported and triumphs. As Ricky pointed out, Tobey Maguire was the classic, clean-cut Spider-man where as Andrew Garfield is newer, edgier, and sleeker. I like this version a lot.

Prometheus

I enjoyed this movie as well. Michael Fassbender was amazing as the Ash-like android officer and how kick ass was Noomi Rapace? The scene where she essentially performs surgery on herself was so sick in both senses of the word. I think once I stopped thinking of this movie as a “prequel” and started understanding it as a story that takes place within the same universe as the Alien series, it made sense. Not perfect, but definitely entertaining.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Oh boy…where to start. I read the book and love love loved it, so naturally I was looking forward to the movie version. I ignored the laughter of people in the theater when they saw the preview. I was like, “You don’t understand, dumb asses, this is based on a book. And it’s a really awesome book!” Turns out those people were right to laugh. It wasn’t good. I mean…Abe running along horses as they stampede? No. Just…no. They strayed too far from the book which for the most part was completely unnecessary and they relied too heavily on special affects. Overall, I am disappoint.

The Dark Knight Rises

People really have a batarang up their asses about this movie. Get ready for a mini-rant.

On Memebase, there are idiots galore, but there is a breed of moron that surpasses all other: the arguer. Arguing over the internet is as pointless as Jim Belushi. Arguing only makes you look bad really. If you’re undeniably correct and you’re arguing with someone who is undeniably wrong, you look bad for arguing with an idiot. If they’re right and you’re wrong, you look stupid for arguing with someone who knows more than you. If, as in most cases, the argument is completely stupid to begin with, you look completely stupid as well.

After TDKR was released, a funny meme of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Heath Ledger in the movie Ten Things I Hate About You was posted. It made a joke about the Joker and “Robin” having gone to high school together. Harty Har Har. Well, a couple of people made comments about how they were so upset that “fanboys” were spreading “heresay” and being “willfully ignorant” about the ending. My comment (error numero uno on my part) was to say to one of these uptight commenters (a fellow wordpress blogger actually) that the ending was open for interpretation. STOP THE PRESSES!!!! I never actually gave my opinion on the ending, saying “YUHUH, he is totally the Robins cuz thats his name. Duh!!1!!!” I simply said that some people were seeing it differently and much like letting the totem sway only slightly before cutting to dark in Inception, Christopher Nolan seems to like letting people think for themselves instead of spoon feeding them every plot point.

In response to my comment, the person- how can I put this gently? – flipped the fuck out. He wrote that IT CERTAINLY WAS NOT open for interpretation. Don’t I know that?! I must confess (and here’s where I make mistake numero dos) I found his outrage over a film so funny that I told him to take a breath. I never even said I disagreed with his conclusion, just that other people might think differently and it doesn’t mean they’re writing some twincest slashfic by expressing their opinions.
For instance, here is one person’s take on JGL’s place in the Nolan-verse among other things:

The shitstorm that came after my second comment was what made me realize I had become the same type of moron who argues on the internet. He railed about how stupid and ignorant I was being essentially and said I must be intimidated because I told him to take a breath. One might point out to him that he needed to take my advice since he sounded like he was turning purple on the other end of this “conversation” but I resisted. I was tempted to screw with him, but I didn’t because I’m mature and shit.

So now that I have learned my lesson on commenting, I will give MY opinion of the film straight and simple. I loved it. I thought it was a nice end to the trilogy and liked the little nods to the comics here and there. Seeing tidbits of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns show up in film-form was what all nerds want. Though there were flaws with the movie, I thought it was pretty friggen awesome over all. I mean Tom Hardy’s Bane? Come on.

The Bourne Legacy

Okay, so it wasn’t the greatest movie in the world. So it didn’t live up to the Bourne name. So you had to watch an absurd scene in which Jeremy Renner shoves a tracking device down a wolf’s throat. So what? It had two incredibly good looking actors in the lead and all you need to do is picture them boning to earn your movie ticket money back. Half glass full and all that, right? In all seriousness, I thought it was a decent movie but it it didn’t belong as part of that series.

By the way, go to hulu and watch the show Spoilers! and you just might see me in the background of the episode covering this movie. Maybe that’s why I’m so ho-hum about it. I didn’t even pay for the ticket so I didn’t lose out on anything. It was a great night spent with Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes.

Oh my gosh, look! What a great shot of me!

Skyfall

I LOVED this movie. It was my favorite of the year by far. Though Casino Royale is still my favorite of Daniel Craig’s Bond films, I thought this one was a masterpiece visually. Javier Bardem was wonderful as the villain as always, Craig was fantastic as the aging cowboy who has to get back in the saddle, and the transition to Ms. Moneypenny and the new M was nicely done and respectful to the lovely Dame Judy Dench. Overall, bravisimo! I have no complaints.

Well, that I was the year in review. I will be posting my list for 2013 within the next month as well as some other fun posts. Let’s not forget that there are quite a few cons just around the corner, so get ready for some cosplay nerd talk.

I did not care for Dark Knight Rises. I prefer my movies about grown-ups who dress up likes bats to be at least a little bit fun. I found DKR depressing (and I hate Christian Bale’s Batman voice). I found The Avengers much more enjoyable. Also, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies: much more fun than Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Go figure.

Want to know a secret? Shh…come close…I didn’t like Wreck-It Ralph. GASP! I know, I know, I think I’m the only one. I just didn’t enjoy it. All the video game characters of my youth were awesome though.

I liked Looper quite a bit I just didn’t know about it when I first created my list. JGL is in my top 5 because he’s a great actor and cute to boot.