Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Why
Marry? Because Salladhor is a man of
the world—smuggler, trader, banker—there is nary a trade this
enterprising
pirate lord does not dabble in. Yet his flamboyant nature and jovial
sense of humor
belies a hard, serious businessman. This combination could make for a
fun yet secure husband. He was also named Lord of Blackwater
Bay, so marrying him would make you a pirate lady! (To be real, though:
he was
named thus by some big eared Florent, so who knows how much sway that
actually
holds)Why F***? Because Salladhor seems to like
to keep it casual—he prefers concubines to wives—so it might behoove you to
just have a good time.Why Kill? Because: pirate! This Lysene ne’er-do-well
will likely ne’er do well, and is more interested in gold than loyalty, so you’d best stay away.Shae

Why Marry? Because Shae is as witty as she
is beautiful—she has won the interest and eventually the heart of Tyrion
Lannister, which is an impressive feat. Despite her humble origins, the dark
haired and petite Shae has developed a taste for the finer things, but if you
can provide her with a manse and fine dresses, she may prove a loyal companion.Why F***? Because she is a professional,
and professionalism is so hard to find these days.Why Kill? Because Tywin and Cersei
Lannister have threatened to do it already.Syrio Forel

Why Marry? Because Syrio Forel is
awesome. This Braavosi water dancer knows how to train champions: he is tough
yet nurturing, so can we say “awesome father material”? He’s also brave and
loyal, having saved Arya by fending off a cadre of guards with a wooden sword,
which is so kickass I can hardly stand it.Why F***? Because you’re into tough love.Why Kill? Because you want the bragging
rights. Again, the guy took out five guards with a wooden sword. Not a real sword: a sword made of wood. If you could
take him out you’re basically a god. (Sidenote: we haven’t seen Syrio in a long
time, but he has to be alive, right? Right?!)