Thursday, December 22, 2016

2016 Annual Airing of Grievances

"The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it." --Frank Costanza

Technically, Festivus is tomorrow--on December 23, but we just can't wait to get the festivities started! Gather your family, friends, co-workers, enemies, judges, opposing counsel, etc. because it's time for the Airing of Grievances!

For some of you, this is what you were born to do--this is your moment to shine. Your gift of complaining is finally welcomed and wanted on this one occasion. This is your chance to (civilly- read: work appropriate and slander free) whine and complain about your salary, your job, your boss, the courts, nepotism, Robert Graham, Wiznet, the Nevada bar, bar counsel, UNLV Boyd Class of 2013, this blog, etc. It's also your chance to provide some feedback about the way things are done in the Las Vegas legal community. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who read this blog and see your comments and suggestions (including administrators, judges, and other lawyers). If you want a refresher on what types of things you were disappointed in or complained about last year, use the search box and enter "airing."

Why are people so terrible in unisex bathrooms??? I feel like every time I go into one, the seat is just covered in pee. I'm not sure if it's men with terrible aim or women who hover above the seat (probably both) but either way it's gross.

I don't like it when anonymous commenters trash other practitioners by name in the comments here. It's particularly distasteful because it's such a dehumanizing attack. We're already in a tough profession that drags us down. Let's not do this anymore. I get that sometimes opposing counsel is a "dick" or an "asshole" or even a "clown." It's frustrating. But let's not leave a digital footprint of malice where spouses, clients, prospective clients and children of the target can see it.

And, for what it's worth, when I see an attorney attacked here, I honestly assume that they are just kicking so much ass and dominating their opposing counsel so much, that opposing counsel is a little beta bitch who has no other recourse to address their emasculation than anonymous comments.

Your second paragraph is a perfect example of why I don't mind reading trash talk about named attorneys, and why I don't mind trash talking. I say shit here about lawyers that I wouldn't say publicly because with my name on it, I expect you to give it the weight that my name carries (whatever that weight is for you.)

But I'll gossipy-bitch all over someone anonymously and expect that anyone with a brain will give it the weight anonymous bitchiness deserves.

I don't think any of you fuckers even KNOW He Who Shall Not Be Named and I bet he's a lovely person.

Especially! The French Provincial Courtroom folks with their likewise estate in Queensridge that I'm just praying one day soon has a close up backyard view of high density apartment dwellers.Their pretentious Christmas party with the two "seniors" welcoming everybody in their "Yes, we are semi still in the closet" suit and jacket combos! Excellence in practice I'm sure! and that midget blonde witch with her fake eyelashes , hair extensions , inch thick foundation, and black crayon eye liner yelling at her staff trying to convince everyone that she's the best attorney at that firm! Some will say I'm jealous ... I say I'm observant.

Naqvi was there sucking and slobbering for table scraps. I don't think he was there recruiting any staff for his own boutique law firm. No way the staffers for the french provincial peeps meet the appearance standards for Naqvi. Bunch of beasts that get yelled at and whistled for over there.

You would think that with all the image put into that building that they would have the hottest staffers in town. But, then again the queen wouldn't be able to say that she is also the hottest woman at that firm as well.

She actually is pretty meek and kind off of the Bench. I don't think she has forgotten private practice with Hale Lane; her private practice was just very different from yours. Despite the political pushback, she really was perfect for the Federal Bench where she could be judicial on the Bench and then retreat back behind closed doors and not have to be part of the community.

I'd have to agree - the few times I had a case where they were representing a party, they were very easy to work with, very straight-forward, and did what they said they would do. Of course, I was not representing the primary target and my client didn't have much money.....

1) Attorneys that initiate cases in Small Claims court. Go fuck yourselves.2) Baby lawyers who haven't been appropriately mentored and think every case is the most important case ever. No, sorry, I don't have time to read your 4-page letters about nothing of significance.3) Fucking traffic (in before "it's waaaaay worse in philly/nyc/la, whatever fuck shit town you visited that one time).4) $75 home internet service through Cocks, while fast and dependable, is overpriced.5) Middle class liberal friends who act surprised and disgusted that Clinton was never going to happen.6) Anyone who supports Donald Trump (like, actually supports him and thinks he's the best person in the country to run the country).

I agree with all the above except No. 1. I am an attorney that does small claims work, and its really in the best interest of the client (isnt that our number one goal?). Why tied up the court system over something worth less than $10k? I am sure the District Court appreciates their docket is less of the shit cases worth less than a used car. Small Claims also resolves issues very quickly, so neither side is being dragged through litigation.

Small Claims court is not Judge Judy and can be a bear. There is a lot of fancy stuff going on down there. Folks who are not represented by counsel get stomped on just like in Family Court. It behooves one to have an attorney. Justice Court is going to 15K. Many personal injury attorneys say they are going to file in Justice Court. Be careful what you wish for, the award of attorney's fees is mandatory and will be imposed harshly against plaintiffs' and defendants'. No attorney's fees in Small Claims. Creditors find it a convenient and useful venue not just credit card companies. They just did away with the mandatory mediation which was a complete waste of time.

Whenever I have had the JPs like Jansen filling in and hearing the cases and appeals, there has been a good result. There are some referees that are pretty good and some pretty bad. What do you do if you get a bad one? Is there such a thing as a peremptory challenge? The worst part of Small Claims Court is the wait/downtime for your case to be heard. It used to be they would call attorney cases first. Now there are so many attorneys that you wait when they alternate attorneys and pro pers.

I love this list except the Internet. I'm amazed how fast everybody got so jaded about broadband. In '99 you were in your office with the door closed surfing porn during business hours because broadband wasn't available at your house yet. $75?? Think of everything you can DO with that connection. It's your radio, your video store, your research library, your mailbox. $75 for everything broadband does may be one of the best returns on investment in the history of human civilization.

Here is an interesting year end topic. Q E is expecting ALL attys to be involved in marketing, describing associate marketing as a legacy issue. Details can be found here:http://www.legalwatercoolerblog.com/2016/12/20/cry-marketing-river/What do you think? If you are an associate, how do partners at your firm view this issue?

The problem with Quinn is that the hours are already brutal, and then they require marketing on top of it. The firms they complete with for talent don't require the same thing and some pay more. So Quinn lawyers that haven't seen their families bitch about it.

Literally the worst. I've seen this from defense counsel who head over to the other side. EVERY case is the worst crime in the world and there are no extenuating circumstances -- black and white, good and evil. He can't let a case go out of fear he might be perceived as soft.

To all those whiny attorneys who don't get over themselves: 1) Um, CQ you're a douche because not all people who shop at Trader Joes is a hippy. 2) AP You got asked to leave because you deserved it... don't blame the staff. 3) RS The rest of the staff doesn't need to see you ask your secretary to "twirl" and 4) AS Um, no - it wasn't great to finally meet the asshole behind the emails.

And that is worse in your mind than the rich and upper middle class conservatives who drive Mercedes with Givenchy handbags and refuse to acknowledge the plight of the poor in America? Or those rich and upper middle class conservatives who believe that any hardships suffered by the poor are simply a result of laziness and an unwillingness to work hard?

Stacy Rocheleau and her stupid little disbarred CA lawyer (Eric) who does all her legal work. Know-it-all who owes about 500k to former clients, thus he cant be licensed in NV. Stacy and the dwarf hubby cater to him because he went to law school with her.

My former firm, that is trying its hardest to screw me out of commissions that I earned and referral fees too. It's funny that they think I would walk away from the money they owe me without putting up a fight.

Look, you said, call it 15 percent. If you got lucky and it turns out that 15 percent is a solid six figures, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR CLIENT....PAY ME WHAT YOU PROMISED.

If we don't get along any more because you're a douche, or I'm a douche, or we're both douches, sorry, that's too bad, PAY ME WHAT YOU PROMISED.

If you've had some hard times, were stupid with money, or just fucking unlucky, I'm very sorry and I'm glad to have a conversation about maybe trading some of mine for a piece of the future? BUT PAY ME WHAT YOU PROMISED.

I hate all judges and especially wanna be judges. They all play with themselves under those robes and put their heads down like you can't tell they are sleeping or something. They don't listen to anything you have to say and ignore hard evidence. Commissioners are just as bad, if not worse, because they are all wanna be judges. Even worse are people applying to be appointed as a judge. They are the absolute worst, scum of the earth.

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