I am a nurse, mystic, mother and writer

Friday, April 14, 2017

Who Do You Crucify?

My coping tools are doll making and blogging. I am stressing under the disappointment of job searching. I can always go to the ARC and be placed non-competitively.

I have had many patients over the years and I have never judged them harshly. I have served in my nursing practice, prostitutes, men with swastikas tattooed on their arms (I worked in the jail) alcoholics, HIV patients, child molesters, etc. I always recalled my role was to serve them not judge them.

I am moved with pity for people who cannot fathom what a disability is or those who judge a disabled person as someone who is responsible for their disability. I pity them, as the are lacking in their hearts. The have no heart, and that is one thing that deserves pity. I am well connected in my community, it is a connection with toxic threads of judgment against me. This web flows very strongly throughout the towns and drumlins on the Finger lakes area.

My first fault which is unforgivable to some is that I failed to love a good man. He might be good, yes, but I could not love him.

Second fault, I longed to find love. I searched and flirted for the quest of love. Like the Lady with the Dog short story, I searched for love.

Third fault, I had prior to medication a sharp wit and sharp tongue. I was medicated for that fault.

Fourth fault. I report. I am a narc. If I see someone being abused, I report it.

Fifth fault. I am a doll maker, which has voodoo connotations.

I have spent months of my life with virtually no human contact. Total solitude for weeks and weeks. Could you handle that? No phone, no friends, nobody. NOBODY.
Thank-you God for giving me an imagination to create company when none exists. Or perhaps you send me spirits and angels when I am alone. So Alone.

This is a Christian nation, here under God, and this is Good Friday. Do you crucify people you fail to understand?

There are good people. I met a very nice lady at the library today. Thank-you God.