Map of North America in 2008 Includes The Christian Republic of Jesusland, The People's Republic of Canada, Kentuckistan, New Israel, Nuevo Espana,Super Peru, Der Aztek Großssdeütchesreich (The mexican Empire), Neo-york, The Confederate States of America and the Chinese colonies.

2008 was mostly a drag because I couldn't get some toilet roll to scoop up the poop my dog had left on the floor, but the United States of America threw a recess(ion) party. Everybody was invited save for your mother, who was passed out somewhere in between one of her chick flick marathons because she was hungry and wouldn't eat her poop, and I had to eat it for her!. Plus she was already dirt poor to begin with since she spent most of her money on animal poop for me to eat!. God, I love poop so much!

2008 was the year of Linux on your mother and Firefox up Microsoft's ass. The movies will be released early 2009 at a 7-11 near you, be sure to wash your hands after touching your brown suprises before you go and buy this movie!

January 2, attack of the 500 foot Jesus ceases after California Raisin Hans von Veinershnitzel-Smith unleashes 7500 rounds from a mini-gun into Jesus' over-inflated ass. Jesus crashed to the ground outside of Oakland, where it was revealed it was just a big balloon of Joaquin Phoenix.

Karl Marx's predicted revolution finally happens. He is promptly restored from the grave to be worshipped.

July10th, 2008; The official language of the United States is changed to "Spanglish/broken English/Ghettoese/Pig Latin/Braille"

Crest comes out with a new type of toothpaste that disintegrates all your teeth and replaces them with new ones every two hours. Iran and North Korea claim to be trying to create a more powerful toothpaste, but really they are just mixing baking soda with flour and getting a lot of press.

July 19; eryone in the Northern Hemisphere jumps at the same time, purely by coincidence. As a result, the year is made 3 days longer.

Belichick writes a document for U.S. presidency.

Jack Thompson eats a cocounut.

July 21st, 6:30:00pm; George Bush discovers the meaning of life.

July 21st, 6:30:06pm; George Bush forgets the meaning of life.

Microsoft bought Yahoo!(MicroYahoo!), Then Yahoo! bought Google(MicroYahoogle), and Google bought Microsoft. The new Microgoohoo was then bought by Apple. After filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy "Microgoohoople Inc." was auctioned off on eBay, where it was bought by Sony for .25$ and a small boy named April.

Steve Ballmer is going to say Devolepers for 3,455,244,343 years. I think you mean, Three billion, four hundred and fifty-five million, two hundred fourty-four thousand, three hundred fourty-three years to be precise.... Oh sorry this is someone else's... ahh jeez sorry man. "It's all right I'm used to this kind of... oh crap I can't say that on Uncyclopedia.. or can I?" Returned James Earl Jones. He later then died in a fatal... "...lets just get on with this please," interrupted the actual guy who wrote this, "I've already got a wife and kids to deal with at home and a headache OKAY! and I don't need you or your stupid little editing laptop computer thingy whatever GOD! Now MAN you have no f*****g IDEA!!" He took several breaths. "Okay then." "Now we are both on the same page with this..." "Hoo.. okay sorry I lashed ou---"Y-You know what let's just continue all right." "Oh fine with me." Said me. "O.K.- WHOO! I need some water." He later put together a glass and then went on with the rest of the 2008 article below.

Cthulhu will die... and thanks to being neutered at young age (His other male reproductive organs don't count - as they still function) he only has 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 creatures to be on his throne instead of him (counting all humans, animals, and aliens (except hippies - Cthulhu had nothing to do with them!)).

Hilary Clinton wins the presidency, with Barack Obama as vice president. Jesus Christ is appointed attorney general, along with Yo Momma being appointed secretary of state.