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forget fertility free Friday— I’m lurching in Limbo Land

I don’t want to go out for drinks with mainly child-free girlfriends tonight and tomorrow I don’t want to go to friend’s gathering with lots of families and children about. I feel like a fraud who doesn’t belong in either world. I want to hide.

Yesterday I ordered a 50 pack of pregnancy tests and a 50 pack of OPT because I’m getting sick of it costing me $12 every time I want to pee. www.saveontests.com for anyone who’s in Canada and needs someone who delivers to Canada.

I’m so sorry! It’s so hard to go through these sorts of things, especially when those of us that do (my particular experience is being the only girl with endo among everyone I know), generally go it alone. It would be great to have physical counterpart – another woman and best friend who was going through the exact same thing we were, and at the same time. I am convinced that would make things so much easier. Yet, many of us end up alone among our friends, struggling and feeling sad. On the upside, you have this fabulous blog to come back to with women who truly understand (albeit far away)!

Ugh! I definitely hide a lot. But it has meant my friendships’ bonds weakening. So, I’ve started coming out of my cave. I also have decided to say “f*ck it” and go out for a glass of wine with friends when they ask. I used to not drink at all (but that clearly has done no helps) and so now I’m a drink ’til it’s pink kind of a girl. Of course, I don’t drink that much – almost ALWAYS only one glass of wine with a meal once a week.

Hope that whatever you chose to do last night that you had a nice and relaxing evening 🙂