Tuesday, February 12, 2013

This past Sunday I was talking to a man with whom I attend church. He is very intelligent and highly placed in local academia. During our conversation we both lamented the low, nearly non-existent spelling and grammar standards we encounter when reading the newspaper or an on-line article. Yes, I suppose I could be referred to as a "grammar Nazi" , but, let me just say in my defense, that although I notice nearly every misspelling or shoddily assembled paragraph I read on Facebook or my other favorite Internet haunts, I never point them out to the writer. I'm not perfect. I'm not without sin. I don't need to cast stones. Stones hurt. I usually just shake my head in resignation and disgust and move on. Until today...Below is a cut and pasted version of a recent discussion I had with a (and I can hardly say this with a straight face) "customer service" representative for a website from which I ordered some merchandise...From: Stacey ShannonTo: Customer ServiceSent: Friday, February 08, 2013 5:17 PMSubject: Orders/Shipping - Order #776594Hello, I placed my order on 1/22/13 and am still waiting for it. I understand it was damaged during shipment and has been reshipped. I am requesting a refund of the $6.95 shipping fee. Thank you.From: customer serviceTo: Stacey ShannonSent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 2:15:34 PMSubject: Orders/Shipping - Order #776594

Dear Ms. Shannon,

I regretfully must inform you that we are able to issue you a refund. The package was sent in a timely manor. We have reshipped your package due to the damage that was done to it by the shipping company that was used, other then that I am sorry ma'am but we are unable to further extend our services. The package that was reshipped to you is out for delivery today.

Sincerely,Customer Service

From: Stacey Shannon

To: Customer Service

Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 12:55 PM

Subject: Orders/Shipping - Order #776594

The package did arrive today. However, I paid $6.95 for UPS Ground Shipment, expecting it to arrive within the specified 1-5 day period. This did not happen. While I understand your company may have shipped the package in a timely manner, it was not delivered in a timely manner. Surely a refund of less than $7.00 would be a shining example of excellent customer service. Perhaps your company could recoup that amount from UPS as they are to blame for the damage and unreasonably slow delivery of the package.

Put yourself in my shoes--would you be happy if you paid a fee for shipping and then had to wait 21 days for it to arrive? Without so much as an apology or other accommodation from the company you ordered it from? I am not making an unreasonable request. I'm just asking for some customer service from the Customer Service department. Thank you.

﻿Dear Ms. Shannon, I understand the incontinence that you were put through during this time and we apologize for this. However our answer remains, there is nothing else we can further extend to you at this time. The package was scheduled to arrive at the specified time, but due to the damage it was sent back to us so we could mail out a replacement package to you at our cost. The original claim was denied by UPS. We are in the process of reopening the case. If our shipping fees get adjusted we will do the same for you.Sincerely,Customer Service

From: Stacey Shannon

To: Customer Service

Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 2:34 PM

Subject: Orders/Shipping - Order #776594

O.K., fair enough. I look forward to hearing from you regarding the UPS claim.

And just to be clear, I was merely inconvenienced during the lengthy wait for my package, not incontinent.

Thank you, Stacey Shannon

And...you, "Customer Service" representative are OWNED! At this point, I've had such a good laugh they can keep my $6.95. It was worth it.

But, a bit later I received this as a postscript...

Dear Ms. Shannon,

My apologize for the grammar error, it was a human/ electrical error. We will let you know about the claim as soon as we get more information on it.