well I like it so far but it seems to be moving a bit slowly, but hey I'm just really impaitent... very impatient... so keep on writing away!

Youngling chapter 9 . 7/31/2005

Wow! This was a cool chapter! I love it I love it! Keep it coming! Its so good!

Love Ya,

Missy

(Youngling)

coco chapter 9 . 7/27/2005

the idea of satine and christian's child dealing with satine's past is quite interesting. your story is a bit unfocused though. you spend a lot of time on conversations explaining events, and little on exploring how each of the characters would deal with the situation you have created. though cassandra's reaction and growth is important, you might want to deal more with satine and christian's reactions. how does cassandra's discovery of satine's past make satine deal with issues about herself that she may have chosen to try to forget. how does this effect her relationship with christian. furthermore, how are chariatian and satine similar or different to how they were at the moulin rouge - how have they been changed by their life together with a child. i would suggest foregoing a complicated plot about cassandra's travels as it is easy to become bogged down in the details. instead emphasize a few defining events in her struggle to come to terms with her mother's history. the reunion between cassandra and her parents should not be a one chapter thing. it should be a growing process for all characters that may provide a richer story than cassandra's daring adventures in paris.

I'll give you a couple of ideas, right now. Cassandra is in Paris and she searches for the Moulin Rouge and learns the play script. All she memorizes is her mother's parts. Toulouse and everyone else finds her and she lies and says her parents are with her. That would work for maybe two chapters. Will you use my idea?

I don't mean to be rude, but if you want to become a writer, then you should keep your chapter's in a plan. AnimalWriter1 has a very tight shcedual. People work hard to be authours and if you want to become one, this should be more important then Sims2. Make bigger chapters with more descriptive words. f you have writers block, I suggest that you read other peoples stories and mix them together with your own Ideas. For good examples, Check out AnimalWriter1's stories in the Tamora Peirce folder. Since you have such a busy and difficult life, keep a notebook or journal and write your problems down. Then combine your problems with your story, and you have a good chapter. Make bigger chapters please and don't delay with Sims2...Even though it is a really cool game!