Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I’m being lazy and am just going to break this down by month. By the way, as I write this, it is like 109 degrees outside, and 92 degrees inside my non-air conditioned house. I am that dedicated. I’m also watching Sex Decoys: Love Stings on Hulu. I feel like a unpaid advertisement for this TV show judging by the number of people I have told about this show. It is an absolute train wreck of a show. It follows Sandra Hope who runs a private investigator business which specializes in catching people suspected of cheating on their significant others.

Sandra uses her three daughters as decoys in the stings and wants her agency to be a family business. The older two daughters, Kashmir and Jasmine are part-time strippers. The youngest daughter is not a stripper probably only because she is not old enough to get into a bar. Oh, by the way her name is Xanadu. XANADU! ! ! Seriously! ! ! For those who don’t know, Xanadu is the name of the gigantic house/estate in Citizen Kane where the main character, Charles Kane, lives out his final days and where the infamous Rosebud sled is burned up at the end of the film. Citizen Kane is actually a really good movie, but like The Godfather, it’s best to be kind of doing something else while you’re watching it like ironing or writing thank you cards. For children of the 70s and 80s, Xanadu is the title of a supposedly horrific—as in horrible, not horror—film from 1980 staring Olivia Newton-John. I haven’t seen it, but everyone says it’s terrible. There are a bunch of muses, Gene Kelly is in it, and I can’t fathom why. Here’s the plot summary from IMDb:

The Greek muses incarnate themselves on Earth to inspire men to achieve. One of them, incarnated as a girl named Kira, encounters an artist named Sonny Malone. With the help of Danny McGuire, a man Kira had inspired forty years earlier, Sonny builds a huge disco roller rink.

Sometimes I miss the 80s. I want to see a movie with a culmination of the construction of a giant disco roller rink. Excuse me while I add it to my Netflix queue. I do believe I need to figure out a way I can justify showing this in class. It sounds kind of terribly awesome. Anyway, XANADU! I’m guessing that Sandra named her daughter after the Olivia Newton-John movie, not after the symbolic Xanadu from the greatest film of all time, as least according to every “Greatest Films of All Time” list that has ever been made.

Alas, I have digressed. Watch the show if you want to see a woman with scary amounts of collagen in her lips whore out her own daughters for the sake of catching really sleazy guys cheating on their girlfriends. I am warning you though, it just might suck you in. It’s a vortex of brain-numbing, why-am-I-watching-this-crap? awesomeness.

On to the moments!

Moment 1:My Honors kids had a portion of their Julius Caesar exam which asked them to identify who said a quote and the context of the quote. Here are some excerpts from brilliant answers.

“Cassius, in his typical fashion, is having himself a pity party.”

“Murellus is disgusted by how the Romans quickly turned their backs on Pompey and followed Caesar’s new reign—SHINY!!!”

“This shows how ADD and childish the people of Rome are.”

“Caesar is talking to Antony about the kind of men he wants on his council. He doesn’t want men who think for themselves, rather ones that sit back and agree with his ideas. Like Hugh Hefner and the Playboy girls.”

Moment 2:This time around in the Shakespeare unit, the students were asked to write a paragraph explaining whether or not they had any sympathy for the characters of Macbeth by the end of the play. More excerpts from their answers.

“Well, I guess I really feel sorry for Macbeth because his wife is a crazy woman that is udeserving and likes to kill for her own sick pleasure. I’m also happy that Lady Macbeth dies and has to suffer. So basically, I feel like you. (me, Havig) Ahahahahahaha.”

“I feel zero sympathy. I have a heart like Havig toward Macbeth.”

“He’s (Macbeth) a big boy, and he should act more like it.”

Moment 3:Here are some freshman quotes:

“So it’s like bedazzling?”student on the pinking of shoes in Romeo & Juliet. Pinking is punching little designs in one’s shoes.

Havig, handing out R&J packet: “I have a present for you.”Student: “Can I re-gift it?”

Moment 4:Here are some sophomore moments:

My third period class decided that Macbeth, the last piece of literature that we read this year was the perfect culmination of the class because it incorporated prostitutes and dead babies. Nearly every piece of literature that we read had a hooker in it, and for some reason we had some on-going dead baby joke conversations. I love my job.

I was chatting with my third period class about the movie I had seen the night before, Premonition staring Sandra Bullock. The movie itself isn’t really all that great, but the gag reel offers one of the best moments recorded on film. I really wanted to show the clip to the class, but I had already sent back the movie. Fortunately, a student’s mom loves the movie, and they had it at home. Thanks to Kelly, the class was able to watch the clip.

It is worth a rental just to watch the clip. I don’t want to spoil your experience in watching it, but imagine this: Sandra Bullock running toward a flaming car accident yelling for her husband + prop which is basically the head of her dead husband + CPR = hilarity. It made me love Sandra Bullock even more than I had before.

I’m still trying to get the awesome pictures that the students drew to upload. I’ll try to get those up soon.

The Havig

Me in non-teacher attire

English Class Moments of Awesomeness

The idea for this blog originated a few years ago while I was sharing funny things that my students said and did in class with my friends. My students crack me up all the time, and I enjoy sharing their hilarity with others. Originally, I posted ECMOA on my MySpace page, but the audience was limited. In an effort to expand and try out some different technology, I decided to start an official ECMOA blog. I hope you enjoy it.

Currently, I'm ...

watching the 5th season of The Office. Amazing!

watching the first season of Parks and Rec. Also amazing!

STILL boycotting the 7th Harry Potter book because I think it's stupid that J.K. is simply killing off a bunch of characters. Like I tell my Creative Writing students, blowing everything up (or killing everyone off) is NOT resolution. What did the owl ever do to you J.K Rowling?!

so annoyed with Rowling's crappy 7th book that I even refused to watch the 6th movie.

really enjoying my classes. My students are pretty fantastic so far. Definitely some great material for the ol' blog.

About Hav

I'm an English teacher at a public high school, a gig that I've been doing for around 7! years now. I currently also teach our school's Leadership class. I'm an avid writer, but I don't seem to have enough time to read "for fun" books, as I like to call them. The grading seems to get in the way of such joyous endeavors. I also coach our school’s Knowledge Bowl team if any of you are doubting my extreme nerdiness. Also, if any of you are curious, the Hav part of my name rhymes with mob (as in the angry, torch carrying kind), or like you’re laughing, Ha Ha Havig.