It’s All Behind Me Now, Or Is It?

I spent the morning organising my notes and thinking about my childhood, the days so far behind me now…or are they? Are any of the times we experienced ever really behind us? We use that term, ‘it’s all in the past, or it’s behind me now’ usually to dismiss something we perceive to be negative and to give the appearance that we have it all under control and it doesn’t affect us anymore, but what if that something from our past is something positive, something good, we don’t then say that it is all in the past or behind us, no, we embrace it and think of it in positive terms as celebratory. We display a kindness to the emotional bonds we share with the memory. It has shaped our lives and we remember it fondly and are happy to continue to remember it, but the negative shadows, the thoughts and memories that surface in just the same way, get shoved back down and dismissed as quickly as possible. Have they not too shaped our lives? Have they not brought us to where we are now at any given moment? If we were honest with ourselves we would probably find that the things we choose to hide and bury, dismiss and ‘put behind us’ are the very things where we have probably learned the most about ourselves, our human side, our frailties and our vulnerabilities, all the things that shape our character and lead us to compassion and empathy, for how can we share those qualities to help others if we have never experienced the shadows that create such need. So as much as I love my fond memories of all the good that I experienced throughout my life, so too I am now nurturing, with emotional kindness and appreciation, the negative experiences that have shaped my life and shaped me. In doing so I am nurturing the inner child who still beckons to me when I encounter memories that drift in and out of mind, those facets of me that sit in the wings, the shadows that are really my friends, my life long friends that deserve a place in my heart and deserve to be thanked for helping me along the road to becoming all that I can be.