Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it is time for our final game Lightning Fill in The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Alonzo Bodden and Faith Salie both have three points. Luke Burbank has two.

SAGAL: Luke, you're definitely going to go third, so let's get started with you. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota changed his position and announced his support of blank on Monday.

LUKE BURBANK: Gay marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After avoiding a filibuster on Thursday, the Senate began a debate on reducing blank violence.

BURBANK: Gun.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Even though it's not in the U.S., this week the CDC activated its emergency center to work on a cure for the new strain of blank found in China.

BURBANK: Bird flu.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for her colorful print dresses, fashion designer blank died last Sunday at age 81.

BURBANK: Pulitzer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After 17 months on the job, the CEO of department store chain blank was ousted and the old CEO was rehired.

BURBANK: J.C. Penney's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study out this week finds that in a comparison of Xbox, Wii and PlayStation gamers, Xbox players are the blank.

BURBANK: Most addicted.

SAGAL: No. They are the best in bed.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Did you hear that shock?

SAGAL: Yeah, that gasp was from some woman married to Xbox players. Apparently, in this study, which must have had a very small statistical sample, guys who play Xboxes rank the highest in the bedroom. In another unrelated study, Xbox owners were found to lie more than owners of other consoles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KASELL: Luke had five correct answers for 10 more points. He now has 12 points and Luke has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. All right then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So we flipped a coin. Faith has elected to go next. Fill in the blank. Beloved Mouseketeer and beach movie star blank died Monday at age 70.

FAITH SALIE: Annette Funicello.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Beyonce and Jay-Z came under fire this week for their fifth wedding anniversary trip to blank.

SALIE: Cuba.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Mark Zuckerberg launched a new organization to advocate for blank reform.

SALIE: Immigration.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Michael Bloomberg is probably not happy with the new study out this week that shows that limiting blank size just causes people to buy more.

SALIE: Sugary soda.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Everything was going great for a man robbing a bank in Florida until he blanked.

SALIE: Until he put his gun down and the teller took it.

SAGAL: That's exactly what happened.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He needed a free hand, he put the gun down and the teller said, oh, there...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...pointed it at him. Former Vice President Dick Cheney this week warned that when it comes to North Korea, quote, "we're in blank."

SALIE: Deep doo doo.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Cleveland Indians' home opener went on as planned this week...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...despite the fact that the Indians' manager blanked before the game.

SALIE: Died?

SAGAL: No. He got lost heading to the stadium.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

SAGAL: Terry Francona, former manager of the Red Sox, lives two blocks from the Cleveland stadium and yet he got lost walking there. He says, quote, "I got lost three times." An Indians' employee in a golf cart eventually found Francona and whisked him back to the stadium. Then in the sixth inning of the game he set out for the pitcher's mound to put in a reliever and was never seen again.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do in our quiz?

KASELL: Faith had six correct answers for 12 more points. She now has 15 points and Faith has taken the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. So how many then does Alonzo need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go Alonzo for the game. In a big win Monday night, the Louisville Cardinals came back from a 12-point deficit to beat Michigan for the blank title.

ALONZO BODDEN: NCAA championship.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, President Obama presented Congress with this proposal for the 2014 blank.

BODDEN: Budget.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study by the U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency on Thursday said that blank may have nuclear weapons that could be mounted on missiles.

BODDEN: North Korea?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Now that it has successfully completed new tests, United plans to fly Boeing's blank planes in May.

BODDEN: 787.

SAGAL: Right, the Dreamliner.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A tortuous that disappeared from its display in a museum in Dubuque, Iowa was found days later blanking.

BODDEN: Sleeping?

SAGAL: No, riding down the elevator in the museum.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And almost made it. Because of increasingly aggressive gangs of pickpockets, the world's most visited museum, the blank in Paris, was temporarily closed.

BODDEN: The Louvre.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After he was accused of pushing a toddler in Times Square, a man dressed as blank was arrested and then released on bail.

BODDEN: Superman?

SAGAL: Cookie Monster.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A British couple says their pet hamster...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...is recovering after blanking over the Easter weekend.

BODDEN: Disguising himself as a ferret.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The hamster is doing fine after coming back from the dead and digging itself out of its grave.

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOCK)

SAGAL: And it is pissed.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Really. It's like an E.C. Horror Comic for rodents.

BODDEN: Do you know how hard you'd apologize to a hamster that rose from the dead on Easter?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's a good point. I hadn't thought about the religious aspect of it. So, this is what happened, so Tink the hamster is found lying face up in its cage or whatever, and the hamster sitter who was taking care of it says, oh my God, the hamster died. And he buried Tink in a toilet paper roll and buried it in the garden, as one does. But that night, Tink woke up, chewed through his paper towel shrouding, clawed his way out of the grave. Tink was found waiting the next morning cold and angry and with an unquenchable hunger for little brains.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Brains.

SALIE: I wonder if there was a little bit of toilet paper left on the toilet paper roll and there's like a little shroud of Turin of Tink's face.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed at least six to tie, but Alonzo had five correct answers for 13 points. So with 15 points, Faith Salie is this week's champion.