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10 ways to deal with unrequited love

Rejection is painful, but it’s inevitable. At some point in one’s life, it’s likely that one would go through the almost unbearable pain of a heartbreak. But that’s alright, pain is okay, you can deal with it. As dreadful as you feel right now, know that the pain is going to eventually fade away. And in no time, you’ll be back to the happy sunshine of a person you were before ‘that person’ broke your heart. In the meanwhile, here are 10 ways you can cope with the pain of unrequited love.

Give yourself time to grieveAs cheesy and romcom-like as it sounds, you need to allow yourself to grieve; after all rejection hurts! A research found that emotional pain activates the same part of the brain as physical pain does. That’s why a ‘broken heart’ actually hurts. Don’t be hard on yourself for loving someone, give yourself time to be upset and grieve; just don’t wallow too much.

Talk to yourself in the third personNo, we’re not delusional. This trick actually works because talking to yourself in the third person helps you control your emotions in a better manner. This technique allows you to evaluate the situation from an objective perspective. So, yeah, get chatting about yourself.

Avoid the illusionsPerhaps you’ve been wondering (and hoping) that someday, just someday things may work out between the two of you. Hope is usually a great feeling, but definitely not in these circumstances. Living in an illusion that one day your crush will like you as much as you like him will only make matters worse. Avoid these delusions at all costs and you’ll be on your way to moving on.

Create spaceWe’re not saying that you should cut all ties with him and stop hanging out with him altogether, but you should try and create some space between him and you. If you’re still friends with him, try to call or text him less often; let him call you once in a while. In times when your heart is recuperating, space helps the process.

Make time for a hobbyInstead of daydreaming about how amazing he is, distract yourself with a hobby that interests you. Mindless daydreaming is an absolute waste of your time and you instead channel your energy in doing something productive. Pick something that piques your curiosity or a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.

Pamper yourselfSelf-love is so underrated! And when you’re down and out and feel a lot of hatred towards love and everything associated with it, stop right there. Love is a beautiful thing and self-love is even more beautiful. Book an appointment with your salon and go for the complete pampering session. Or just get your favourite bath salts and essential oils and bring the spa into your own home. Know that you matter!

Make a pros and cons listAs ridiculous as it sounds, it actually does help! Make a pros and cons list about being single. It will help you gain perspective. The cons side maybe longer than the pros but that’s completely alright. Eventually you’ll begin to see the brighter side of things. And remember to focus on the pros side, being optimistic always helps.

Go on a dateIt may sound a bit forced or even counter-productive, but it’s definitely better than sitting at alone home and moping around. It doesn’t even have to be a super serious date, keep it casual. Ask a friend or a colleague out for coffee or try out a new restaurant. If you’re up for it, download a dating app and ask one of your ‘matches’ out on a coffee date!

Say no to romcomsPlease don’t succumb to the pleasure of watching romcoms and eating ice-cream after you’ve gone through heartbreak. It will just make you wallow unnecessarily and put emphasis on the one thing you can’t have – love. Instead focus on non-romantic movies and books, pick another genre, like comedies, thrillers or dramedies. It will help you deal with the pain better.

Don’t seek closureLastly, just accept the situation for what it is and don’t rush to find a closure to make things seem ‘better’. Looking for closure when in actuality there’s none, won’t help your case. Just let go, admit defeat, pull your socks up and embrace the future. Remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea.