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Tragedy in San Bruno, California. A massive fire exploded from the ground and into the heavens overnight, leaving in its wake a massive crater that would seem to have been left by a massive meteorite heavily hurled from the heavens. It was not.

Authorities speculate that a pipe is to blame for the fire that continues to burn through San Bruno. Residents on the scene report of the fire burning so hot, the even the cement melts.

Like a horrifying scene from a war movie, the carcasses of burnt out cars are seen all around the once beautiful and unmarred area.

This tragedy has truck America on September 10, 2010. This tragedy has struck America on the eve of September 11, where 9 years ago today terrorists brought great sorrow to our hearts. Only Satan would do such things as this on a day as we prepare for silent memorial and grief. Whoever would celebrate such tragedy on this day is not of moral nature and below human.

Yes, this explosion happened very near San Franciso, a place that has long steeped itself in the dainty teapots sin-ful gay pride and frilly Rococco fashions. But today, even San Francisco would be spared such tragedy as everyone in that city, God loves. God loves all of his people and today his people in America need comfort and peace.

It is so tragic that on the eve of our new Day of Infamy, foreign radicals burn our flag and this hell on Earth burns in California. But there is one thing these things cannot take from us: our brotherhood of unity.

We are the UNITED States of America. We stand United with our loved ones and friends in California, during this grievous time of loss. San Francisco is a city of sin, but it is full of people who deserve love and respect. It is full of people we are happy to extend our hand of comfort to during this sad time.

Today America stands united, as one. We hope and pray for the speedy recovery of San Bruno and the surrounding areas, and for all of those affected by this horrible tragedy.

Gays have excessive flatulence due to anal sex. This leads to a buildup of gas in the area where they congregate. Unsurprisingly, authorities have found that most fires from “gas leaks” have been caused by gays.