Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They’re born thinkin’ the switch only goes one way: on. I mean, they’re struck blind the second they leave a room. I mean every woman, I ever let have a key, I swear to God. It’s like, come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different, is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.

Glenn Rhee: 'Dale, you think Andrea's on her period? I'm only asking 'cause it's like all the women are acting really weird. And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.'
Dale Horvath: 'I'm gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.'