A New Year

Happy New Year Everyone — I’m back. Or attempting to be. I’ll be honest, I’m coming back in the middle of heartbreak, hoping to distract myself with any task possible. (And in the hopes that writing will be somewhat cathartic.) I broke up with my boyfriend of a super long time tonight…or maybe we’re just putting distance between ourselves – it all sounds the same to me… In short, he was the most important thing in my world for 5 1/2 years. And I just didn’t always feel like the most important thing in his world. It’s so hard to go through with something that you honestly just don’t want at all…but our relationship turned toxic and I became so negative that I didn’t make it easy for us to exist in the same space sometimes. But at the end of the day, I’ve learned it’s okay to ask more from a person. More effort. More time. And I know that I deserve more… At this moment in time, I’m hoping that we join again later in our lives when perhaps we want more of the same things. *Heavy sigh*

So the New Year couldn’t come at a better time since I’ll be trying to distract myself with anything possible. I was happy to hear that ‘most’ people were waiting to start their resolutions on Jan 5, since NYE was mid-week last week. In proper fashion, I ate a burger, fries and had two beers tonight as my last fill of bad food, ha. I have to give myself a pat on the back for getting off my couch tonight at 10 pm and making my healthy meals for the week — it’s very hard to cook and ugly-cry all at once, trust.

So I’m going to list my goals for the year (ish) and hopefully I’ll be able to fill my time over the next few months.

1. No booze the rest of the month of January (oy.)
2. Clean eating for two months
3. Drink lemon water every morning after waking up
4. Blog 3x per week
5. Cancel my cable
6. Workout 4 days/week or more
7. Schedule a half marathon
8. Learn Javascript and PHP
9. Read more – maybe one book/month?
10. Meditate — in an effort have less stress and less negative thoughts

That’s a solid list, if I do say so. I could come up with more, but who are we kidding. It’ll be a damn miracle if I complete NUMERO UNO.

I’ll address the blogging more goal – I want to write more in general. So even if I don’t have pictures tied to a post, I’m not going to lose sleep over this. In the past, I felt like I had to have something big and specific to blog about, in order to blog at all, but I’m really just writing all of this for me at the end of the day. So I’m just going to DO ME and not fret.

If any ladies out there feel like sending me some love or positive vibes as I start what will probably be a rough week, it would be appreciated. I hope to read more blogs this year and give support to anyone out there doing their own thing as well.