Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Life 06/14/10

I think some days I may be going crazy. Sometimes my vision seems clouded and hazy. Other days things seem to fall right into place Those days nothing or no one can rip the smile off my face. I often wonder where I would be if i didnt have him and he didnt have me what direction would I Be facing if I had taken the other path Would I still experience heartache would I still be able to laugh its amazing all the things I having going on in my life I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, a friend, a mother, a wife When do I get to be the person thats bottled deep inside the dreamer the writer the girl with all the pride Where is she now what direction has she taken Is she happy with my decisions and all I have forsaken I'm not sure I am proud of all my mistakes All the hurts I have caused all the promises I've had to break Not by choice mind you its not im my nature to inflict pain But sometimes life is a gamble and it can drive you insane I have to watch my baby die a slow and painful death unnaturally I get to be there when she takes her final breath I'm not sure where life got jumbled in to one big crazy ball I look back on the memories I have hanging down the hall I love my children dearly equally just the same And my heart still skips a beat everytime I hear Momma as my name I got married young maybe to young some might say But I still see the love in his that I saw that Febuary day We've had our share of hardships and battles to overcome All the while my head said caution my heart told me not to run I love him for his imperfections, I love him with my entire soul He loves me as I love him without any self control In his eyes I can be myself a crazy wild girl Who loves her family dearly more than anything else in this world But despite all that I'm melancholy for things I can't explain I long to see the Rembrandt in Holland and to run with the bulls in Spain There is this other world out there just waiting to be explored Sometimes it feels like I have to settle for always wanting more I know the grass isnt always greener in Ireland or Greece But those are the dreams of the girl in me and I don't want those dreams to ceaseto be continued...LG