Standing on the Edge of a Cliff

Over ten years ago, my family suffered a seemingly unbelievable tragedy — the loss of my older brother.

This time in my life was a total whirlwind and many of the details remain a blur.

Shortly after this tragedy, I experienced another major life transition.

My mental clarity and engagement with life had sunk to an all time low. My motivation and determination to achieve were none existent.

I remember getting the call from a work colleague on an extended weekend by my own design. She frankly informed me I had left a client’s rent check sitting on my desk.

In that very moment, I couldn’t reach past my own pain swell nor the importance of my family to even see the inevitable consequences of this brief interaction.

I hung up the phone and went back to my family.

Monday rolled around, and I unenthusiastically rose and made my way to the office.

My boss gently knocked on my door and asked me to join her in her office. My throat sank to the pit of my stomach.

When I turned the corner into my bosses’ office, I saw the executive director already seated.

I knew the outcome of the forthcoming conversations before it even began.

I remember the brisk air as I walked to my car that early December morning. With a box of office supplies and personal effects in tow, I remember feeling like I was standing on the edge of a cliff.

My life trajectory was unknown.

Half of my being was mad. Mad at the world. Mad at God. Definitely feeling slighted.

And the other half of me was more self-aware than I thought possible. I was uniquely poised to make the world my oyster.

The terrible and equally delightful days that followed profoundly transformed my life.

In search of full-time employment, I was actually allowed the necessary time to process the recent events. Perhaps time I would simply not have afforded myself otherwise. This time was actually a gift — the able to sort through the avalanche of mental and emotional activity within.

I remember the feelings of isolation counter balanced by a sense of fresh opportunity.

In the midst of this turmoil, I was acutely aware the balance of my life could shift towards the positive or negative. Something I had to sit with.

Fortunately for me, I’ve always seen the glass as half full.

The next couple of months sincerely challenged my personal constitution, but with every dark moment my spirit found a factual of light to illuminate my next step.

Thankfully in the course of a couple of pivotal days, I received a job offer that would eventually transplant me in the sunshine state which I know call home.

At some point, to varying degrees, we have all stood on the edge of this very same cliff.

As sure as I purposefully recalled these memories this morning, I’m certain your spirit is reflecting light that will guide you to your next best step.

Start small. Day by day. Observe the world through intentionally renewed eyes.

Breathe in the fresh kiss of dew in the morning.

Let the radiating warmth of the sun flow into your body all the way down into every single cell of your being.

As you close your eyes to sleep, be grateful for the unfolding of another day. If you’re still in the thick of it, with everlasting hope hold space for something to be thankful for tomorrow.

See until today, I hadn’t yet seen these circumstances illuminated by this particularly beautiful factual of light.