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Saturday, July 31, 2010

August

August has always had a dark cloud hovering over it for me. It's the last month before the kids go back to school, which has been the routine for 3 years now because the boys started going to preschool when they were 2. It's the last month of summer. By now it's been hot and sticky for several months and I've had enough of feeling like I need another shower 5 minutes after I take one. Nobody wants to play outside anymore, "outside" is boring now. The backyard blow-up swimming pool is just a big mudhole and it's too hot to sit on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. And the mosquitoes are at their biggest, strongest, and thirstiest.

I can think of a few years when August was tough for other reasons. A couple of years ago, August was the month I switched from Paxil to Prozac. The transition was like an earthquake in my soul. I alternated screaming and crying for about a month.

August of 2005 was the month the boys turned 6 months old. That was significant because I was so disraught over their nonsleeping habits, someone had told me that when twins (because at the time I thought the only real problem we had was the fact that there were two of them) turn 6 months old, they start to sleep better. I ignored the fact that they were due to be born in March instead of February, which would have made September the 6 month mark, and I lived for August when somehow, magically, I believed they would start sleeping for at least a few hours every night. I knew it would happen.

August came and went and the nonsleeping continued. They were not happy babies. From about the time they were 4 weeks old (and their actual due date had passed), they stopped sleeping and were cranky from being overtired, all the time. Morning, noon, and night we worked to get these babies to relax and go to sleep. And when August didn't prove to be the 6-month-magic-cure I was hoping for, I despaired.

Anyway, suffice it to say, I don't have happy feelings with the coming of August. I want to like it. August is county fairs, the Minnesota State Fair, and the Renaissance Festival. It's the month all the Farmer's Markets get into full swing. August is corn-on-the-cob and caramel apples. But so is September.