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How My Life Fell Apart

Posted 6th May 2014 112

Literally, I feel like everyone hates me. I’ve completely fucked up everything in my life, and I’ve pretty much ruined every good relationship I had. I’ve been depressed, honestly, since my freshman year of college. Every roommate I’ve ever had can’t stand me, and I even had to switch rooms in the middle of the year because things got so bad. I did join a fraternity (a co-ed one), which was pretty cool, and I even held an officer position this past year. Overall, things were pretty good. But then I decided that I wanted to study abroad. I applied, and got accepted, and any normal person would be ecstatic about this! For me, however, It’s made my life go to shit. After the initial excitement wore off, I realized that I had to give up everything. And my depression, which I conveniently hid by simply busying myself with the work of being an officer, came back with a vengeance. I’ve been filled with so much stress and negativity that I couldn’t even handle our end-of-the-year banquet, and simply walked out. However, this was probably the worst thing I could have possibly done, as I missed the induction of our new officers, giving charges to the person taking over my position, and the “outstanding active member” award, which my Brothers voted me to receive. So, I pretty much ruined ANY chance I had of EVER being an officer again, if they’ll even let me come back next year. Honestly, I don’t even want to study abroad any more. It’s ruined everything for me. And this makes me feel even more pathetic, because NORMAL people are excited about getting to go to another country! I seriously just want to die, but I know that that’s never the answer. But my entire life is falling apart.