It was about half an hour in, and most of the attendees are comfortably settled into the conversation. It is the right time to hurl a brick through a stained glass window during a funeral. “I was thinking of boiling a tongue today for dinner...”

Water runs from jiddo’s garden hose, trickling down his granulated hands before impatiently rushing towards the cavalcade of mint, basil and parsley that sprout from row upon row of upturned earth. Vegetables and fruits defy all 150m2 of the backyard and nudge across the neighbourly fence. Life can not be contained.

That simple meal became an exquisite engagement of all the senses - we pieced apart the flaky, buttery roti, swirled it in the rich red and oranges of the curry to agitate the spicy aromas and scooped up some egg towards our lips - all whilst surrounded by the gentle sounds of fresh batter sizzling on the hot plate...

We are a married couple from Melbourne, Australia. James grew up in Malaysia and moved over for university when he was 19. Hannah was born in Brunei, went to high school in Vancouver, Canada, and arrived in Melbourne for university study as well...

I liked his big, round glasses and how he drew Mount Fuji for me on a spare piece of paper because I was disappointed that it was again obscured from our view ("now you can say you've seen it"). I became quickly smitten...

My first time with said noodle was in college (granted, I was kind of a late bloomer). When I asked my friends about their first experiences, some confessed that they’d gone home to it after a first date or left parties early for it. Others boasted they’d had three sessions in one night...

You must drain the water prior to adding the sachets of flavouring to the noodles. I met a guy who told me that he would add the flavouring to the noodles boiling in the water before draining the water. This is a crime. My ears bled. He has been removed from my life...

Ask any subcontinental family to vouch for the importance of “chai time” and you'll hear about a highly essential evening dose of caffeine and chatter which blossoms in most households during the evenings, a few hours before dinner...

To prepare the zucchini, cut off the stalks. Carefully hollow out the zucchini from the stalk end by pushing and rotating the manqara* into the flesh until you have a generous cavity around 0.5 cm thick...

My pilgrimage to locate the best HSP joint in Victoria continues. There will be more hits, and some misses, but that is the price my bowels will pay for this greater good that will serve the human race...