If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Please note that once you post something, you will not be able to delete it. Also remember that search engines index our boards, so even if a moderator were to remove a thread, its content may still exist elsewhere.

I need some advice about men over 50 and sexual desires

2007-11-08, 09:26 PM

I am a 52 year old widow. I got married when I was barely 17 and was married for almost 34 years before losing my husband to cancer. I was 100% faithful to my husband. Therefore, the only life I really knew was with my husband.

I now find myself in a relationship with a man who is 53. He tells me that his sexual desires just aren't there. He comes to my house around 7 ish after he gets off work, we eat dinner and by 8:30, he starts saying that he has to go home, for some reason or another. Am I a fool to continue to stay with someone that I don't feel desires to be with me?????

I need some advice understaning men!!!! Like I said, the only man that I really ever understood was my husband, I never tried to understand other men, because I didn't find the need to.

Comment

Not quite 50 y/o yet (still have a couple more years to go), but I'm one of the "old dudes" around here.

It sounds to me like he enjoys your company, but has a low/no sex drive.

The question is......are you a fool?

What is it that you want for the rest of your life?

I want someone to spend lots of time with. But, I think it bothers me that he rushes off to be alone after spending 1 to 2 hours with me. I always thought if you were in love with someone, you wanted to be with them more than a couple of hours a day. I guess I have a hard time understanding that he is used to living alone, and the only life I had for the past 35 years was a husband and family around. Am I being selfish in wanting him around more?

Regarding the low/no sex drive, am I taking it too personal, or is it normal for that age group of men?

Comment

I want someone to spend lots of time with. But, I think it bothers me that he rushes off to be alone after spending 1 to 2 hours with me. I always thought if you were in love with someone, you wanted to be with them more than a couple of hours a day. I guess I have a hard time understanding that he is used to living alone, and the only life I had for the past 35 years was a husband and family around. Am I being selfish in wanting him around more?

Regarding the low/no sex drive, am I taking it too personal, or is it normal for that age group of men?

Yes....if you're in love with someone....you can't get enough of them.

Maybe he just sees you as a good cook and dinner company.

(he wouldn't be the first guy like that)

No, you're not being selfish to want him around more...that's what you want, and need, and there's nothing wrong with that.

After my divorce from my first wife, I had what alot of men consider a "dream life", but what I realized within a year, or so is that I'm happier in a relationship and have family around.

Expected lifespan statistics confirm that most men are better off in a loving, monogamous relationship.

As far as a man's sex life as he gets older.....I'm 46 and hornier than a whole lot of young guys half my age. Fortunately...I'm remarried to a younger woman who's up for it more than I am, and life is good.

We don't get to choose the life we are given, but we do get to choose how we live it

Comment

I guess I have a hard time understanding that he is used to living alone, and the only life I had for the past 35 years was a husband and family around.

What's this guy's story? Divorced, widowed, always single, what? He may just want a companion. My uncle married his second wife purely because he didn't want to have live alone after my aunt died. No love, just his own selfish need to be looked after. His sons confronted him in private with this threatening to tell his fiance, he admitted it, and told them they'd be cut out of his will if they told her. This might not be your case, but keep it in mind.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Comment

I am a 55 year old guy, and I have to say that my sexual life is better and my sexual desire is stronger in the past 2 years than they ever were before. This is a function of being with a more compatible woman and of losing certain inhibitions. OP, if your sexual life is important to you, then you need to be with someone who wants and needs what you want and need sexually and who is capable of it. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for sorrow over the long haul. Talk to your guy and tell him what yu need and want. Love-making can be great when you are older, but you must have a partner who wants it and is capable of it too. Life is too short, and when you get up in age to where we are, it is even shorter.