Just the incoherent, nonsensical ramblings of a Catholic, Texas born mom who knits, loves her family, reads, geocaches and volunteers way too much, and spends most of her life in her filthy dirty little car shuttling my two kids and two dogs around Athens, Georgia.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

After my post about my new job as a social worker for pregnant women, my knitting group responded in a huge way. Hats and booties galore.

Now, off the knitting topic, I want to ask all parents--what concrete information could you have used when you had a baby? I revamping the "welcome" packet for new moms and want some imput from experienced parents. Please take a moment and post your idea in the comments section. Thanks a bunch.

If you or your spouse seek public office, don't put magnets advertising their name on your car.

I get road rage. I admit it. This is why I never carry weapons (my Swiss Army knife doesn't count). This is another reason I swear in six different languages (English, Spanish, French, Korean, American Sign and some Hmong). My kids think I'm muttering nonsense and because I vent my frustration in Poncho Villa's language, I don't use obscene hand gestures (well, unless I'm signing)

You probably see how this week's warning is shaping up. So until 7/15, I'm an auto angel. To reward myself, I got a supersize cherry Dr. Pepper.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

As a kid, what did you look forward to most about summer vacation/break/holiday?

Being able to go outside all day without having to do homework. I'd get up at the crack of dawn, watch a little of Casper the Friendly Ghost, climb trees, catch crawdads, chase my brothers with slingshots and generally cause mayhem on Bruce Lane in Orange, Texas. Oh and I was always barefooted. Sometimes when I really felt mean, I'd hide my sister's diary or taunt Ms. Ramey's evil wienie dog, Xanadu, by making faces at him through the fence.

One late evening in February, I got called out on a snowy evening to GMHI (Georgia Mental Health Institute) because I had the double misfortune of being a social worker and carrying the on-call emergency pager for my county. GMHI was the state run mental health hospital in Atlanta. One of my kids had threatened to do something to someone and was "10-13ed" to GMHI. Because the state had custody, the on-call caseworker--me--had to sign committment papers NOW as the intake worker put it.

Looking like death warmed over at 2 a.m. while wearing Scooby Doo pajamas top and flip flops does not inspire professional confidence but I had been rudely awakened to drive 60 miles into Atlanta.

I arrive without fanfare to sign the papers only to wait for an hour in the waiting room with "my" charge who called me every name in the book. I pointedly ignored the comments about my sex life and read a two year AMA journal.

When the attendent called out my kid's name (we'll go with Carrie) to go to her room, I followed him. Carrie did not do the same.

We got to the door and Mr. Warm and Fuzzy Attendent slaps some restraints on me. At this juncture, I wake up and tell the guy I'm not "Carrie" but rather her social worker. He ignores me and pulls me toward the hospital. When I resist, he demands to see my state ID (which is out in my car). Then he tells me that he'll sedate me if I don't shut up.

Carrie is nearly on the floor laughing. She finally informs the medic of the situation.

Scary that I had to rely on a teen age terrorist to bust me out of a mental hospital because I didn't have an ID proving I was the sane one. Which when you think about it, working social services for 12 years is not exactly normal.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

This week from 9-3 was Boy Scout Camp. Somehow, I was Craft Leader. And I know what you're thinking. What person in their right might would designate Christy as craft leader? It wasn't too bad. I help to make 60 walking sticks and only tied my fingers together twice. The hot glue gun splattered onto my fingers once. That silly popsicle stick frame didn't mean to gouge my eye.

Then it was onto Vacation Bible School at my church where I was a kindergarten leader from 5:00-8:30.

Finally, I helped Dave's campaign for school board by putting up signs on roadways between roadtrips to Walmart for twine and Hobby Lobby for pin backings.

Where does the felonious Sharpie come into play? I loaded all my supplies into the car. Actually, to be honest, I threw all the supplies in the car. I was hot, the kids were cranky and all we wanted to do was go home.

Well, got home and realized I smelled an open Sharpie. Looked everywhere and I turned my head. Looking like a huge hickey, I had a glob of red Sharpie marks on my neck. When I threw the supplies in, one came uncapped and landed in the tiny little section between my seat and the headrest with the felt end sticking out. And as we know, Sharpies are permanent or at least last a whole long time on skin.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

I love all dogs--big dogs, small dogs, hairy dogs, stinky dogs, goofy dogs, dogs that steal your pork chops right out of the marinade. Well, not so much about the pork chop one but you get the idea.

Zack, the wonder Collie, is a big baby--a seventy pound baby. Our old Aussie, Zoe, to put it bluntly, is evil. The animal kingdom fears her. She is training Zack to be a minion.

Zoe and Zack "play fight". To an outsider, it looks like we're grooming an overweight senior dog and lanky, goofus Collie as dog fighters. But they are so entertaining to watch and we're too poor to go to the movies, we let them horse around.

Every once in a while, it gets rough and Zack flees to the safety of his metal crate. He did it today and Zoe was barking wildly (probably swearing at him in Caninish) while Zack whimpered. I went downstairs and Zack had somehow opened the crate lever and locked himself in. Or Zoe whipped out her thumbs to teach the whippersnapper a lesson. Who knows?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

In blue are the states I have visited and/or not been arrested. In yellow are the states who run away when I try to visit. The lone state in red is where I've visited and almost got arrested.

In my defense, Mr. Lake Charles, LA police officer was a bit rude and nasty. I mean why put a railroad track across the street from the McDonald's and then proceed to stop innocent college students trying to get a Quarter Pounder in the middle of the night as they fly over the tracks in their 1984 Ford Escort ruining their suspension?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Well, not in the sex trade sense but I am now the new part time First Steps Coordinator for the Treehouse in Winder, GA. I'll be providing referrals and support to new mothers 20 hours a week starting Monday, 6/16. Back in the social work saddle, so to speak.

What does this have to do with knitting? First Steps provide "goodie" bags to the new moms. I've put an all call out to my fellow yarn groupies to help provide baby caps to the newborns. There's not a whole lot--ten per month so if you feel the need to donate (and it's tax-deductible), please email me and I'll get the details. Any neutral color knit or crocheted in an acrylic yarn is fine.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Raising Regan has not and will not be stress-free. What five year old girl refuses a princess birthday cake from Publix? Why does she insist on a "new" pie? Of course, I try several recipes and the official taste-tester, Ray, doesn't like any. So as a last resort, I threw what little ingredients I had and just when I thought I was due for dose of valium, she likes this pie.

Click It and Then Head on Back Here.

I'm Hissyknit on Ravelry

Catholic Stitchers

You are mellow, easy going, and a total softie on the inside.
People find it really easy to get along with you. You suit most tastes.
And while you're very sweet, you're not boring or ordinary.
You have an attraction to the exotic, and you could show up anywhere... doing almost anything!
You are spirited, energetic, and a total kick to be around.
You're also quite funny. Your sense of humor is on the goofy side, and it fits you well.