Susan Boyle In Expenses Row Over North Korean Nuclear Weapons Testing

In a graphic illustration of how quickly a star can be manufactured before being systematically deconstructed by an utterly unscrupulous media, the reputation of Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle was left in tatters this morning following a series of damning revelations.

It came to light recently that Boyle is not the singer that people thought she was, she is as dowdy as people thought she was, she won't win the competition and she's been fiddling her expenses.

Simon Cowbell revealed that Boyle had submitted an expenses claim for a 'perch for bats' to be installed in her hairdo, and £1.6 million in sundries. Which related to North Korean nuclear testing, a cause with which Boyle has long been suspected of as having been an active sympathiser.