Cutting Room 12-16

I know I speak for every Gene Wilder fan when I say that news of his death was immediately met by an overwhelming desire to see one of his most beloved works strip-mined for a gross, naked cash grab. Psych. I mean, it’s happening, we just hate it. There is going to be another Willy Wonka movie, and it’s likely to be an origin story. No Johnny Depp, but there’s still time for them to cast Jared Leto, who will immediately begin subsisting on Everlasting Gobstoppers and the sadness of children ... if he doesn’t already.

Technically not a movie, but TV and movies are already friggin’ conjoined twins at this point (let alone ones on Netflix), Stranger Things Season 2 has added Sean Astin and Paul Reiser. I can only hope this means there’s at least once scene of Reiser explaining to 11 why he tried to sedate the Demogorgan and Astin saying a tender goodbye to the monster in slow motion.

I generally don’t like biopics, but I will be front and GD center for the upcoming Bryan Singer-directed Freddie Mercury film because the lead will be played by Rami Malek. If you don’t know who that is, I can now both tell you that he’s an Emmy-winner for Best Actor and that you’re the reason I live in constant terror that Mr. Robotmay be canceled.

The product of the most regrettable of John Landis’s sperm, national disgrace Max Landis, is going to write and direct a remake of his father’s An American Werewolf in London. No matter how much the elder Landis gives his approval, at least I can die knowing that Max has definitely disappointed at least one person more than me. Lest you think I’m being too hard on the chap, know that he spent time recently mansplaining a joke about Lois Lane being stupid to the only woman writing any of the Superman comic book titles. Let’s all just be thankful Maxie wasn’t born with the resources of the Trump brood.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly podcast, catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 on Fridays at around 7:40 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter.