Never mind the Derby. It will soon be Ladies Day at Royal Ascot in Berkshire. When in the presence of, one must don a grand cuppala; openly giving the women odds as they pass the weird beards. That is all there is to it. Pick the one with the best turned-out curves. Then bet your house on it. I saw her at the end of the day. Passed out on a deck chair with her skirt up past her knickers. Neigh a whinny! Unfortunately it would not be an Overdose; but I’m told to Mind That Bird. Well, it puts me fidgin-fain when they lose the plot.