On raising a son on the autism spectrum, progressive politics, pop culture, and coffee addiction.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

All in good time

Bud is a master of delayed gratification. He is patient and is rarely in a rush, even in the face of a big pay-off. He is happy to put off having today what he could just as easily have another day.

When I was Bud's age, I would have considered myself the model of restraint if I'd had three black jellybeans and a stale marshmallow Peep left over by Tuesday. Bud, on the other hand, discovered, unpacked, and admired his Easter basket almost three weeks ago. Then he re-packed it, put it back where he found it, and returned his attention to his plastic eggs and maps (which we re-hid several times so he could have further hunting adventures.)

He didn't forget about his Easter basket - it was in a high traffic area, so he saw it every day. And he had plenty of reminders from me: Do you want the M&M's from your Easter basket? Do you want to brush your teeth with your new bear toothpaste? Can I open that toy for you? But Bud remained nonchalant and kept the basket intact. He even asked me to purchase a different tube of bear toothpaste, and he used that and kept the Easter toothpaste sealed. (Bud's got a thing about toothpaste... but I'll save that for another post.)

But for some reason, known only to Bud, today was Easter Basket Day. He tore through the candy, and followed it up with some vigorous tooth brushing. The toys were opened and the musical whistle was sounded throughout the house, signaling that THIS was a day for celebration.

You *must* be the model of restraint if you haven't cracked open that Easter basket and sneaked out at least a little of the candy for yourself. I hate holidays where the kids are inundated with candy because I just can't help myself. I have a serious sweet tooth.

Lovely. No one around here is good at DG, though there were (still are, in fact) things that I couldn't stand to part with because somewhere deep inside me I wanted to hang on to it.

Besides, *I've* always held to the Daddy Tax theory: Daddy Tax is when daddy takes the first bit o' candy from Halloween or Easter 'cuz he's the one who went trick or treating with the little ones (some day they'll figure that I'm full of it-- I LOVE Halloween and Easter!)

I'm so glad I found your blog.Bud's going to be fine. I wish I could meet him someday.It's so relaxing for me to come here and find somebody who is a believer in letting their kid be who they are. My daughter is 17, and I had so many people telling me to push her in at the deep end in so many ways. I get a lot of validation, coming here and reading that you have found out so many things I had to figure out on my own.k

My 3 kids don't have a lot of choice about their baskets (or Halloween candy). After a couple of days the baskets are taken apart and the candy put away in the "treat" canisters to be handed out on rare occasions. I must confess Daddy ate a lot of the candy himself. In fact the last chocolate bunny was consumed today. Just wanted to say that I love your writing, Bud is a special little boy.

LOL, my son has two unopened Easter baskets lined up along the wall in his room, one from this year and one from last year. I guess he thinks they make good decorations. More fun to admire than to eat!

I used to keep my Halloween candy. I'd eat one or two pieces a day of the stuff I liked until it was all gone. And I had to hide it from my sister, who'd eat all of hers within 72 hours of trick-or-treat. (My parents would take the candies we didn't like the evening of Halloween. They'd eat pretty much anything that was being handed out.)

We haven't done trick-or-treating -- we're just working on the costume thing so far. Maybe this year.