A few afternoons ago, I found myself in downtown Cincinnati for a meeting. After the meeting while heading to the bus stop to get a bus back to Kentucky, I decided to stop at the Walgreens at 4th and Main to buy a corkscrew.

I was having red beans and rice for dinner that night and had a bottle of red wine to go with it. In my move to Kentucky last year, somehow I lost my corkscrew. It was becoming a pain in my ass to get a bottle of wine open with a Phillips screwdriver. The best I could do with that thing was to make a hole big enough in the cork for some wine to drip out of the bottle. I decided it was time to move up in the world.

I went over to the wine section thinking they would probably have corkscrews nearby. They didn’t. I asked the clerk where the corkscrews were. She didn’t know, so she got on the phone and called someone else who works there. In about a minute, a guy comes to the counter with a corkscrew.

“We have two different kinds,” he said. “We have one for $3.99 and one for $5.99.”

I looked at the corkscrew on the counter.

“Which one did you bring me?” I asked.

“The one for $5.99,” he replied.

“Why did you do that?” I said. “Why didn’t you bring a sample of both of them for me to see or bring me the cheaper one?”

“This one is of a better quality,” he said.

“Yeah, and it cost more.”

”I thought you would want the better one,” he said. A bitter smile came to my face.

“If I wanted an expensive corkscrew, I would have gone to Williams-Sonoma, not Walgreens.”

The guy looked a little pissed as he walked away with the expensive corkscrew. He shortly returned with the one for $3.99 which didn’t look much different than the other one. I paid for it and left.

Standing waiting for the bus, it occurred to me that maybe I should have told the guy I was so cheap that I was actually using a Phillips screwdriver to open my wine bottles, but something tells me he wouldn’t have cared.

The crazy weather continues here in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. We only have a few days left in February and March is going to start out warm. Hell, it’s supposed to be in the 60’s later this week.

As most of you know, I now live in Covington and one morning last week, I heard something outside my window. No, it wasn’t cats fighting this time, it was something else.

I went to the window to listen. It’s a fact. Early in the morning, the birds are singing in Covington. That’s a sure sign spring is on its way.

And I’ve said this more than a few times to anyone who will listen and I’ve probably said it here too but I don’t give a shit. I’ll say it again. Once we get through February, winter is over. I don’t care if we have snow in March or April. Warm temperatures are fighting its way back into the area.

Of course with this warm weather we’ve had most of this winter, the bugs this summer are going to be pure hell, but let’s think about that later.

For the presidential race this year, the Republicans don’t have much to offer as far as candidates. They know this all too well, so the goal is to distract the sheep voters with political sound bites. Sheep fall for these sound bites every time.

Many still believe that our President wasn’t born in this country despite the fact he has proven he was. Some of those sheep believe Obama is a Muslim. Those of us who aren’t sheep laugh at this bullshit. Sheep don’t know how to laugh. They simply nod their heads in agreement and wait to be told what to think next.

Here’s the sound bit currently making the rounds. I’m sure you’ve heard it. President Obama is not a Christian.

I don’t know if he is or isn’t, but I’m pretty sure he’s not a nutcase when it comes to religion. That’s exactly what we want.

We don’t want a bible holding president. We need one with commonsense who can think through issues and problems and make logical decisions and not someone holding a Bible and looking up to the sky for guidance.

Do you remember our last Christian president? He was George Bush—you know the guy after 9/11 who invaded the wrong country and sent our young people to die in a war that was unnecessary. Yes, old men holding Bibles like to send young people off to fight their needless wars. That’s sooooo christian.

While Obama hasn’t been a perfect president, thinking of a guy like Santorum and his Christian values makes me run back into our President’s arms.

I’m very sure if you’re a commonsense voter, you get what I’m saying here. If you’re a sheep, your head is probably spinning right now.

We don’t need a christian president. While I don’t think it will happen this election year, let’s pray that it doesn’t.

One of the first things I do every morning is checking my email. Yesterday morning, I had 22 emails, all of them junk. I don’t read them anymore, just delete them.

In the U.S. Mail yesterday, everything I got was junk. Insigh Cable is bugging the hell out of me to sign up for cable teevee. I get something from them almost every week. Maybe I should write them back and tell them I don’t own a teevee but I won’t. I’ll just get pissed about the junk mail.

Yesterday on my cell phone, I got two text messages. Both were from my provider. One wanted me to upgrade my service. The other one was telling me about ringtones I could be purchasing. So now I’m getting junk on my cell phone too.

Why is there so much junk in my life? Is there too much junk in your life too?

Earlier in the week, I started thinking about Hazel. It had probably been over ten years since the last time I’d talked to her, so I decided to give her a call.

Hazel isn’t her real name, but that’s what I often called her. It was a joke really. You see, back in the 70’s when we worked together at a machine tool company in Cincinnati; we would sometimes talk about our love for old television shows. “Hazel” was one of them, and as a joke, I started calling her by that name and all these years later, the name still sticks.

We talked for over half an hour. We always seem to manage to pick up right where we left off. It was cool to hear her voice again.

The Hazel is the clip looks nothing like the Hazel I know. My Hazel is damn beautiful, both inside and out.

I’ll pick on Mitt Romney this morning but really it could be any of those people in Washington. Yes. Those people.

Before counting out my bus fare to get over to Cincinnati this morning, I read online that Romney’s fundraising for his bid to become president has stagnated. Still, this guy, in January, spent close to $19 million dollars to try and win the GOP nomination. 19 million dollars.

When was the last time you spent $19 million dollars in a month? In a year? Have you ever in your entire life had that kind of money? For me, the answer is no to all three questions. Hell, I’m trying to come up with bus fare.

I’m not sure why this story and information bugs me so much. I’m aware that money and politics is a way of life in this country but how can these people raising and spending this kind of money relate to people like you and me? It’s all a game and the older I get, the more it makes me sick.

I’m 20 cents short on bus fare. Maybe I’ll call Romney and see if he’s got any spare change.