Doggies and Some More Doggies*

Good Morning! There are too many dogs on the roads, just too many… there were already a large number of dogs running all over the place in our society, but now a new set of dogs have come (no, they are not puppies who grew up here, they are new dogs) and are creating a huge ruckus (commotion, disturbance). You think it’s funny, try sleeping in the midst of the brouhaha (ruckus, confusion) these canines create

And you know what— dogs have a nasty habit of conversing and fighting in the middle of the night, of course they don’t believe in following the social decorum and whispering into each other’s ears; instead they want the whole world to listen to their bhawn…bhawn…bhawn… don’t be surprised or get scared if you pass by our society and see funny looking men and women waving their hands from their balconies in a bid to shoo away the offending doggies.

Oh yes, these new ones, characteristically, have also separated their areas by tinkling in their respective territories. So the mutts (dogs) of the other areas do not venture into ours and vice versa. You’re wondering why am I going on and on about something that is so common? Well, buddies, try covering your ears with pillows to block out the din (noise) these creatures make the whole night. I guess my head is still zonked (very tired) with the sleeplessness that these mongrels (dogs of mixed breed) have caused.

Ah! Somewhere above, I’ve used the word ‘tinkle’. Very often people use the word ‘tinkle’ in connection with making a phone call, so you’ll commonly hear people say to each other, “Give me a tinkle.” Or “I’ll give you a tinkle.”

No problem with that—but remember the word ‘tinkle’ means to ring, to call, to buzz…but it also means ‘to urinate’ (You still want to give each other a tinkle!), albeit informally. When using such words that do not have a very pleasant second meaning or informal meaning, be careful, especially in formal gatherings. Instead, of making yourself a butt (target, victim) of nasty jokes and laughter, use a synonym. But, of course, you have to be aware of the fact that the word you have used has other interpretations too.

Say, if you were to tell your neighbour, “I want to sit on your ass” the fellow may jump out of his skin and say, “Why on earth, Sir? I’ll get you a chair…” Ah well, you meant ‘his donkey’ and he, poor fellow, thought ‘his backside’. Or the word ‘bun’ which means a round piece of sweetened bread and also means ‘backside’. Try saying, “I want some sweet buns” in the US and see what happens? Or ‘crusty’ a word which is used for freshly baked bread and is also used for a person who lives like a vagabond (a person without a home constantly travelling, hobo). A statement like, “My dinner was pretty crusty” may land you up in jail. Why? It’s not legal to be a cannibal, (human- flesh eater) people! Similarly, you have ‘dough’, which in formal English is the ‘kneaded flour’ and in informal English it is ‘money’.

Read fellows, that’s the only way you’ll become acquainted (familiar) with global English or other way to learn would be the hard way.