Monday, March 31, 2008

A real Canadian Pizza

Yesterday I’m working at the grocery store, putting sales tags on the shelves in the freezer, specifically the frozen pizza’s when I come to the “Canadian” pizza, which happens to be pepperoni, mushrooms, and bacon. I want to know what jackass decided that a Canadian pizza should be just though three ingredients. Whoever they are, they’re no Canadian.

As I thought about this more and more, I just got more annoyed by the idea of some corporate weasel in some office in the U.S. deciding what a Canadian pizza should be, so I’ve decided that I will define what Canadian should be.

First off, we do not limit ourselves to three toppings, Canada is a multicultural country, so we need many toppings to represent our diversity, the more the better; lots of meat, lots of vegetables and lots of cheese, and not just cheddar, but other cheeses including feta. I love feta.

We also need a big crust, no little crusts on this pizza. Canada is a big place and were going to need lots of crust to hold the diversity of all the different types of toppings.

So what some of you are thinking that “big deal, it’s a pizza with everything on it’, but I say. Oh no, were not done here, we’ve just started. This pizza must also come with a DVD of some of the greatest play off hockey games ever. There is one thing that brings all Canadian together, and that’s our hockey. I myself and looking forward to meeting up with some friends on “The Red Mile” soon, as the play offs start. Hockey brings Canadians together, only hockey would bring a Sikh, a Native, a Newfie, a Quebecer and and an Albertan together around a radio listening to the Flames score against the Red Wings. At that point, were just Canadians who love the game.

As well, with the Pizza pack should come a 12 pack of beer. Actually make it a 8 pack and 4 wine coolers, for the ladies who aren’t into beer. After all, if you’re eating pizza, and watching a hockey game, you need something to wash it down with.

There's also something people should know about our alcohol in Canada. It's stronger than the stuff across the border so we need to take some extra precautions. Sue Johanson, one of Canada's great heroes and educators once said that every case of beer should come with 3 condoms, making a case a beer the ultimate party pack, so we'd better include them as well. After all, Canadian are a friendly people.

So I present to you, the Canadian Pizza, with all the needed extra, so people can have a truly Canadian experience.