Local conspiracy theorist claims that portacots were designed by osteopaths

A controversial new conspiracy theory has arisen after a local mum claimed that portacots were designed by osteopaths in a deceitful attempt to get them more business. Sami Gordon made the connection over the weekend, after yet another challenging attempt to pack her portacot away left her with severe lower back pain and an uncontrollable anger.

While we have previously explored the way the act of packing a portacot away can worsen a hangover, Gordon’s theory adds a whole new level of complexity to the portacot industry. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Gordon said, “They must’ve been involved. There’s almost no doubt in my mind. You’re leaning over that bloody thing for an awkward amount of time, and next thing you know your back’s stuffed and you’re on the phone booking an appointment.”

Despite having no strong evidence to support her claims, Gordon is pushing on with her theory. She said, “Surely there’s an easier way to set up and pack up these things. If some boffin works it out they’ll make millions!”