I chronicle nonsense, mostly about the news, sometimes about pop culture. If you don't think it's nonsensical, then yell at me in the comments.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

#HypotheticalLivesMatter and #SchroedingersNegro

This weekend, hell froze over. The Donald Trump apologized for something! He finally felt the pressure to do a mea culpa for something he said into a hot mic in 2005. The told Billy bush that he scheming on sleeping with a married woman. He also said that because one is rich and famous that he can pretty much act the way he likes toward women. He can even, “grab them in the pussy”.

Fuck whoever made this meme, but withtheir consent.

Many defended his talk, saying that this is “just how guys talk”. So needless to say, I purged a LOT of Facebook friends over the weekend. What The described is the textbook definition of sexual assault. If your guy friends talk like that, then they should be on a sex offender registry. During the second presidential debate, Anderson Cooper asked if that is how he carries himself around women, and The negated his own apology by saying that it was just “locker room talk”. It WOULD be “just” locker room talk, if the only people in the locker room were Brock Turner, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Cee-Lo Green, Ben Roethlisberger, Jerry Sandusky, and Bill Cosby. Also, when the hell was the last time The has been in a locker room? He thinks exercise is unhealthy! Sean Hannity defended his best buddy by stating that even King David had 500 concubines, neglecting to state that another word for concubine is SEX SLAVE. There is also an idiotic meme going around with the cover of 50 Shades of Grey on it, stating, “If women are so outraged at Trump’s use of naughty words, who in the hell bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey?” It’s funny, because the person who made the meme doesn’t know the difference between CONSENT and ASSAULT.

Of course, there was a backlash to the backlash. People pointed out how The disparaged Mexicans, immigrants, Muslims, disabled people, black people, military veterans and their families, but all of a sudden, Republicans are incensed because he disparaged a white woman??? How typical!...One problem with this meme: The has disparaged MANY white women. Ask Rosie O’Donnell and Megyn Kelly. You can even refer to the women who explicitly accused The of sexual assault including Ivana Trump, incidentally the more the amount of women than The brought to the second debate to attempt to attack Hillary Clinton. So it wasn’t white women that was the line. It was HYPOTHETICAL white women.

Republicans have been using hypothetical people to justify everything from loosening gun laws to excusing campus rape, from banning refugees to disenfranchising black people. The ever threatening “bad guy with a gun” can only be stopped by the ever vigilant “good guy with a gun”. Maybe there’s rape on campuses, but what about the women who lie about rape? The black community is devastated by absent dads and drugs, so we NEED to stop and frisk them! Maybe if their single mothers would get a job and get off of welfare, they wouldn’t be “queens” of welfare! And what about those sneaky “radical Islamic terrorists” who will sneak in with the refugees? Is MOOslims want to be trusted, they need to report the bad ones! Also, Skittles or something. We NEED to stop those who would commit voter fraud! The opioid epidemic is because “D-Money” keeps coming to our suburbs and selling heroin and then fucks our white women when on the way out of town! We need shut down Planned Parenthood, because what if we abort the baby who will cure cancer?

And Let’s not forget the ever ominous Obama. He’s a secret gay Kenyan MOOslim. He’s going to take away our guns. He stepped on our civil liberties. He is inciting race riots. But he’s ALWAYS on vacation.

And finally, Barack Obama. There is President Barack Hussein Obama, and then there is the Schroedinger’s Negro that Republicans have concocted named Barack HUSSEIN Obama. How is he this sinister founder of ISIS, closet gay Kenyan Muslim married to a homocidal transwoman, whose every action is a subversive attempt to take away guns and force people into FEMA camps or establish a socialist caliphate or incite a race war, yet he is always on vacation ALL THE TIME? Barack HUSSEIN Obama doesn’t exist. I don’t even need to put a reference to tell you that Barack hussein Obama was born in motherfucking Hawaii, and even if he wasn’t, His mother was an American citizen, so it doesn’t matter, or it would have mattered for McCain and Romney as well. He’s said a million times that he is a Christian, and before that agnostic, but even if he WERE Muslim, IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A SECULAR GOVERNMENT. Not one restrictive gun law has been signed by Obama. Keep in mind that a gun BILL would have to be written and passed by both houses of Congress, and that has not happened, even AFTER 20 children were murdered in Connecticut. Again, more proof that Republicans don’t give a fuck about real people, just hypothetical ones. Obama has been somewhat silent on race matters. I can recall only a few times when he addressed race, so if he is trying to incite a race war, is by being the one big dude right before a bar brawl who silently folds his arms while his boys are wildin’ out behind him. Regarding his caliphate, I'm not sure if killing bin Laden and done bombing targets all over the Middle East is a good way to start one. There is a short list of everything Barack Hussein Obama actually has done while in office. There are top [number] lists everywhere that highlight major things like the Lily Ledbetter Act, Affordable Care Act, nationwide LGBT marriage, but he has been busy. He is in no way perfect, but saying that Obama hasn’t done anything is flat out lying to yourself at this point. He likely was able to do this because he has taken fewer vacation days than GW Bush. In fact, as of 2014, he’s taken fewer vacation days than every president since Jimmy Carter. So the Schroedinger’s Negro Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a wanton tyrant who is destroying society yet lazy as fuck. The real Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t seem to stop working much, and all he’s doing is his damn job.

None of the bogeymen that the Republicans have been warning us about are actual people, so it makes sense that they had no problems with everything The said, up until now, when he assaulted a hypothetical target that doesn’t exist! That poor mystical woman! No one can know her ethereal suffering. Not even the ACTUAL WOMEN THAT THE HAS INSULTED AND/OR ASSAULTED. So let’s applaud the RNC and the “brave” Republicans who cut ties with The Donald Trump, but let’s keep throwing shade at them because the breaking straw was a hypothetical human being, as are all of the “people” on which they base their platform.