The power of words

Part of the “black sheep” moniker I’ve come to refer to myself as stems from being in the religious minority in Utah. I am no longer a practicing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, although I have been welcomed with open arms into the Grace Episcopal Church in St. George.

And it’s there that my spiritual cup has been filled and, indeed, runneth over.

But most of my friends and family were finding nourishment in the two-day LDS General Conference this weekend. It’s a time where faithful members listen to the words of their leaders, take their speeches and apply them to their daily lives.

Often these talks are of love and kindness. But sometimes there’s resentment and hatred spewed from the pulpit of the Conference Center in Salt Lake City. And it seems to be more and more directed toward the members of Utah’s LGBT community – especially those seeking the same civil rights as any other person in the state.

I had hoped this would be a year where church officials would take some time off from advising church members to not tolerate us. But, sadly, Elder Dallin H. Oaks was the one to speak the unkind words.

Oaks had this to say:

“Prominent among these (sinful behaviors) these days is the strong tide that is legalizing same-sex marriage in many states and provinces in the United States and Canada and in many countries around the world. … When our positions do not prevail, we should accept unfavorable results graciously and practice civility with our adversaries.”

Oaks was speaking of the current battle for LGBT members to have access to the same rights as others, like the ability to be the legal parent of a child or be at the bedside of the person you love when he or she is dying in the hospital.

Oaks’ words sounded as if the LGBT community – my community – gaining equal rights was a foregone conclusion at this point, although he’s loath to admit it.

I am not one to tell anyone what to believe, who to worship or how to worship. My argument is not with the LDS Church’s doctrine. You can believe what you want.

I take issue with the guidance being offered from the highest positions within the church. Instead of referring to us as brothers and sisters, perhaps ones he may disagree with, Oaks instead calls us “adversaries.”

Whether or not it’s intended, “adversary” means “evil” both within and without the Mormon religion. And telling the millions of people who hold steadfastly to the words spoken by the General Authorities to practice civility with “adversaries” will only make those faithful followers look upon us with disdain and hatred.

It will take an already ostracized, downtrodden and threatened minority and push them even further down the ladder of equality in the state.

The sad part is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was once in the same position: cast out because of their beliefs, threatened with physical violence, disowned from the very country they called home.

In a world where hatred runs rampant, I would hope the LDS leaders would use that pulpit to encourage love and unity, Christ-like behavior, togetherness. Instead, talks like Oaks’ only further the already vast divide between members of the LDS church and members of the LGBT community.

This war between ideals is not only pointless – driving families and friends apart because of who we fall in love with, but it’s also costing our state money that could be well spent elsewhere.

Hopefully, come springtime, the General Conference message will focus less on dividing us into saints and sinners, and will instead promote the inclusivity that the LDS Church speaks so much about in its various “I’m A Mormon” campaign videos.