Heather’s Modern Midwest Marriage

Oh, where to start? How do I sum up an entire 6-year relationship in one post? I can’t, I guess.

But I’ve gotta start somewhere.

So, bonjour! Hola! Aloha—and all that good stuff! Nice to meet you, BSB readers! I imagine that some of you are here because you just love weddings, some because you’re actually planning your own wedding, and others because you just love BSB! I’m here because I love to write [duh] and because I know that it can be hard to go through the wedding-planning process alone. So let’s make a deal, shall we? I’ll provide you with some [hopefully] interesting and informative posts about my crazy wedding planning process, and you can feel free to introduce yourselves, ask me questions, and generally keep this whole community thing going. I can’t wait to hear from you!

Shortly before we started dating in 2005. As you can see, Jon is always very photogenic. 🙂

You will quickly learn from reading my posts that I am a bit—shall we say—nontraditional. I can blame this quality on any number of factors, including my graduate-school program (which challenged lots of traditional beliefs), my undergraduate English/journalism major (which also taught me to question everything), my propensity to read everything when I’m trying to learn more about a topic, and my equally tradition-bucking fiancée. My—ahem—“unique” perspectives on this very tradition-based process will inevitably make my wedding-planning life more difficult, but it should make for a good read and a great party! But then Jon and I like to make up our own rules about everything, so that just makes sense. Haha.

Jon and I met in college while we were both working new student orientation. I had applied for the job the year before, but I was not selected. When I returned to submit my application a second time, Jon apparently made some comment to our then-supervisor about how I seemed nice and that he was impressed that I was willing to try again a second year. Apparently–I didn’t learn this until later–our supervisor teased Jon from that day forward that he must like me. So either Jon did like me right away—or our supervisor eventually convinced him he did—because we started dating a few months after orientation was over.

It’s been quite a journey since then. We’ve been through a lot since we started dating: we spent two summers in different states; we did the long-distance thing for two years while I was in grad school; we lost some family members; and we went through some more common struggles about not knowing where our jobs would land, me switching careers, etc.

Right after the proposal!

Each of the things we have been through has been both a test of and a testament to the strength of our relationship. I wasn’t ready to get married until I felt like I had a bit more personal and professional stability (finishing grad school, getting a job, etc.). I had moved at least once a year for 7 years in a row, and I needed a place to literally “hang my hat” (or coats, perhaps, if we’re being more accurate) before I was comfortable making such a big commitment. Yet through all those changes, I found again and again that Jon was one major constant in my life.

That was why, in October 2010, I was finally ready to say “yes” when he proposed. In a city of millions of people, he somehow found a quiet place for just the two of us along the Chicago Riverwalk. Once I said “yes,” I got to admire my new ring as it sparkled in the reflected light of countless skyscrapers. They—the proposal and the ring—were perfect.

Right after the proposal!

So now we take on the decidedly imperfect process of planning a modern wedding. We are planning to invite about 100 guests, for a budget of approximately $10,000. We want to get married in the late spring/early summer, preferably May through August.

I am sure we will manage to have all kinds of fun adventures, gender-role debates, craft projects, and more ahead of us, but for now, we’re trying to just enjoy the moment!

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About Heather

Heather is a 20-something lifelong learner who works in higher education and overanalyzes everything. Now engaged to her boyfriend of 6 years, she spends way too much time in coffee shops fueling up on espresso drinks and creatively massaging marital traditions. Follow along as she makes meaning out of the chaos and (hopefully) pulls it all together for her May 2012 Chicagoland wedding.

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Sarah S (T for you)

Heather,
I love how I already know your story but reading about it still gives me goosebumps and I swear I felt a tear in my eye. If I hear of you doing anything traditional, unless your hearts are totally set on it, I will smack you both up the top of your heads. Keep posting because I would love to know all your fantastic ideas and can't wait until your big day 🙂

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