My ex-BIL's (that is, my DH's sister's ex) family are naturists. They invited their DILs on a naturist holiday and they both declined very quickly.

I once visited a naturist resort that is not far from my house. The horror!

It is not that the in-laws are nudists, just casual to the far extreme. As in, ripped and torn clothing that reveals things best kept covered. I am seen as putting on airs when asking them to wear something that covers everything from neck to knees.

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ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien

This reminds me of a former BF. He could eat like there was no tomorrow, and I couldnt. Many times on the weekends, we'd go to the diner for breakfast, and have a huge meal; eggs, bacon, potatoes, bagel, etc. and as it was later in the am, I'd be good until dinner, maybe with a small snack inbetween. Not him. 2-3 hours after he'd wonder what we were doing for lunch, and would sometimes get miffed if I declined to go out and eat ANOTHER huge meal! Um, I don't want to get sick, nor am i hungry!

Let me give you the other side. My dad loves to do the just two meals thing. I can't do it. I get hungry and my blood sugar goes all out of whack. As I've been working hard on eating well, eating a small amount every few hours is very important. Invariably, he'll decide that his schedule is just fine for everyone when we're all together. Sorry, I can't wait for hours after getting up before eating anything at all, and I need to eat more than twice a day. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm a pig for wanting to eat more often.

So while he shouldn't force you to eat more than you feel comfortable doing, he also shouldn't be made to go hungry just because you're fine eating less.

POD.

The last time we visited my parents and stayed in their home, my dad went out super-early and bought donuts as a treat for breakfast. That was great, however he didn't want anyone to cook anything or have cereal, yogurt or fruit. He wanted us to have donuts and coffee, period. He was shocked when I told him I simply can't have donuts for a meal. I must have some fiber, protein and real nutrition with my meals. He and my mom like to eat very early now. They are up at 6, eat breakfast, then eat dinner at 3 or 4. That is it for the day. I can't do that.

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ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien

This reminds me of a former BF. He could eat like there was no tomorrow, and I couldnt. Many times on the weekends, we'd go to the diner for breakfast, and have a huge meal; eggs, bacon, potatoes, bagel, etc. and as it was later in the am, I'd be good until dinner, maybe with a small snack inbetween. Not him. 2-3 hours after he'd wonder what we were doing for lunch, and would sometimes get miffed if I declined to go out and eat ANOTHER huge meal! Um, I don't want to get sick, nor am i hungry!

Let me give you the other side. My dad loves to do the just two meals thing. I can't do it. I get hungry and my blood sugar goes all out of whack. As I've been working hard on eating well, eating a small amount every few hours is very important. Invariably, he'll decide that his schedule is just fine for everyone when we're all together. Sorry, I can't wait for hours after getting up before eating anything at all, and I need to eat more than twice a day. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm a pig for wanting to eat more often.

So while he shouldn't force you to eat more than you feel comfortable doing, he also shouldn't be made to go hungry just because you're fine eating less.

Let me assure you that I am making no attempt to limit the amount that my guests eat. But we aren't talking here about 'little and often'. We're talking about lots and often. We're talking about people who have been eating non-stop for four or five hours, and who then after a two hour break, want to eat some more. Fine. See the leftovers on the table? Feel free. Really, even if they want to go and get another meal somewhere else... well, the doctor has used hard words like 'obese' to them but that is after all not my business. These people are not hungry. They admit, out loud, in public, that they aren't hungry. They eat anyway. I end up being pressed to order something I don't want, at restaurant prices, or it's a big deal if I don't. So I'm not going. They want to go out and eat again? Go! I shall take my nice new Christmas book and have a bath.

I know that there are people who for medical reasons need to eat every two hours or whatever. I know there are people with very active lifestyles who need a calorific intake three times what I do as a sedentary middle-aged woman, or even people who find that smaller frequent meals simply suit them better. Believe me, these people fall into none of those categories. They want another full cooked multi-course meal? Fine. But this year I'm not going to be pressured into eating that, with the concomitant factor that because they want it, I have to give up the glass of wine with my meal because we'll have to drive.

I have a gal at work like this. I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest. (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

I know that US suspenders = UK braces -- but what are UK suspenders?

Garter belts- not something that shows up at most office parties!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought a "garter belt" was a sort of abbreviated underpant-thing designed for suspending female-length stockings by means of short garters that clip the top of the stocking and the buttons on the garter belt, whereas male garters are designed to suspend non-stretchy antique-style (what we would call in America) "socks" much farther down the leg, being held up by looping about the calf.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought a "garter belt" was a sort of abbreviated underpant-thing designed for suspending female-length stockings by means of short garters that clip the top of the stocking and the buttons on the garter belt, whereas male garters are designed to suspend non-stretchy antique-style (what we would call in America) "socks" much farther down the leg, being held up by looping about the calf.

When I wore hose (nylons) in the late '50s, the garterbelt was exactly as you described. Before that, my mom had a ring of elastic, called a garter, that she rolled into the top of the hose and hoped it did not roll below the knee. Very uncomfortable! I had to do it that way a couple of times. I do think you are right about the garters for men.

There were garter tabs attached to girdles that I wore. Skirts, girdles, and hose to school every day of my high school career and most of college. Even size 10 girls wore girdles.

I have a gal at work like this. I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest. (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

I know that US suspenders = UK braces -- but what are UK suspenders?

Garter belts- not something that shows up at most office parties!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought a "garter belt" was a sort of abbreviated underpant-thing designed for suspending female-length stockings by means of short garters that clip the top of the stocking and the buttons on the garter belt, whereas male garters are designed to suspend non-stretchy antique-style (what we would call in America) "socks" much farther down the leg, being held up by looping about the calf.

Ah, in the UK those are "sock suspenders" and only now seen in comedy farces.

I have a gal at work like this. I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest. (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

I know that US suspenders = UK braces -- but what are UK suspenders?

Garter belts- not something that shows up at most office parties!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought a "garter belt" was a sort of abbreviated underpant-thing designed for suspending female-length stockings by means of short garters that clip the top of the stocking and the buttons on the garter belt, whereas male garters are designed to suspend non-stretchy antique-style (what we would call in America) "socks" much farther down the leg, being held up by looping about the calf.

Ah, in the UK those are "sock suspenders" and only now seen in comedy farces.

No, they are still around! My DH has some and he says they are really comfortable. They stop your socks from wrinkling round your ankles or under your foot. Mind you, my DH is pretty keen on old-fashioned style, so I can't claim they are very widely used.

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When you look into the photocopier, the photocopier also looks into you

To add to the mix, there are garters for men that clip to the hem of a dress shirt and the top of the sock, keeping the shirt neatly tucked in and the sock pulled snugly up. I believe these are often worn by military men with their uniforms.

Well well well...I was hoping I could escape this holiday season without traversing any hills. But no, the family started early.

I have already put my foot solidly down with both Mom and Dad (they are divorced) in regards to various family gatherings and the like.

BG: I live in Big City and Mom lives in Edge of the Earth Tiny Town (EETT) and Dad lives in Far Flung Suburb (FFS). I do not have a car, yet I am the one who has to do the traveling. All the traveling. Never, not once, has the family (Mom, Dad, Brother all with cars) ever come to visit me.

My hill: No, I am not bussing out to Dads on the 24th, then taking a ferry to see mom on the 25th. Then going back to Dad's on the 26th and going back to Mom's on the 29th then going back to Dad's on the 30th (seriously). I have to work. I get one day off that week, Christmas. I put my foot down and said You get this day and you get this day. That's it. Cue the whining. Then I repeated, you get this day and get that day, end of discussion. Not to mention the hours travelling back and forth via busses and ferries.

I spent years building strong boundaries and i don't give a single inch, it fells good.

Well well well...I was hoping I could escape this holiday season without traversing any hills. But no, the family started early.

I have already put my foot solidly down with both Mom and Dad (they are divorced) in regards to various family gatherings and the like.

BG: I live in Big City and Mom lives in Edge of the Earth Tiny Town (EETT) and Dad lives in Far Flung Suburb (FFS). I do not have a car, yet I am the one who has to do the traveling. All the traveling. Never, not once, has the family (Mom, Dad, Brother all with cars) ever come to visit me.

My hill: No, I am not bussing out to Dads on the 24th, then taking a ferry to see mom on the 25th. Then going back to Dad's on the 26th and going back to Mom's on the 29th then going back to Dad's on the 30th (seriously). I have to work. I get one day off that week, Christmas. I put my foot down and said You get this day and you get this day. That's it. Cue the whining. Then I repeated, you get this day and get that day, end of discussion. Not to mention the hours travelling back and forth via busses and ferries.

I spent years building strong boundaries and i don't give a single inch, it fells good.

Sing it, sister. I don't have a car either, have 1 day off, and live 100 miles away. It's not going to happen. Someone has to work, and this year it's me as I had all Thanksgiving week in the rotation this year.

Congratulations, Auntie Mame! I like that spine of yours. (I am polishing my up as well since I too am the one expected to travel. I do have a car, but why should I do all the driving?) Have a great Christmas.

My holiday hill is a bit of a ways off, but I know it's coming.DH and I got married last year. We plan on saving for a downpayment for a house in the next year. At some point, we'll be starting a family.And there it lies. Every year since DH and I have been together (this will be year #8), we have had Christmas with his parents. I love my in-laws, imperfect as they may be, but they have certain expectations of "just how things are done."

In my family, mom wrapped her gifts to us. Santa didn't. My kids won't have gifts from Santa that are wrapped. I don't see what the big deal is, but my MIL actually has told me (more than once) that "The presents Santa leaves for them at MY house will be wrapped!" So...she's going to one-up me on giftwrapping? Seriously? For non-existent children? She doesn't know it yet, but Santa won't be visiting her house for any children I have. I think Santa belongs to the parents, NOT the grandparents. And if Santa DOES make a stop....well, we won't be.

If this wasn't a pattern with her for EVERYTHING, it might not bother me so much. But it is, and I don't appreciate the attitude. Of course, I would want her to have a loving, close relationship with any kids DH and I have, but she is going to be their grandmother, NOT the "other" mother.