Today: You can stand under my umbrella.

I think the gentleman going into the building ahead of me this morning mistook Rihanna’s lyrics for, “You can stand outside in the rain while I try to close my broken umbrella. Ella.” I said it yesterday, and I’ll say it again, You can’t win ’em all.

So while my (functioning) umbrella drip dries, let’s talk about umbrellas. Some umbrellas are magic and can take you from one London rooftop to the next. Very useful.

Image source: thefrisky.com

While you may not need a license to bear an umbrella (even if it’s the mini, concealable kind), they can still do some damage. To a car. Especially if you just shaved your head.

Image source: blogs.villagevoice.com

Umbrellas protect us (and our hair) from falling rain, but superstitious folks believe that umbrellas also have the potential to rain bad luck on us (and our hair?). Surely none of these superstitions are true?

Opening an umbrella indoors will enrage the sun god Ra, who will bring wrath upon your household. Side bar: Who would win in battle, Ra or Shera?

Opening an umbrella indoors is especially bad under any of the following circumstances: the umbrella was a gift; the umbrella is black; the umbrella is placed over the head when opened; the umbrella has never been used outside; there is a sick person in the house. Um, isn’t being sick bad luck enough?

It is supposedly bad luck to give an umbrella as a gift. ..Bad luck, not to mention impersonal. Unless the person receiving the gift loves umbrellas.

You should never pick up an umbrella you dropped, but rather ask someone else to pick it up for you. And then prepare to be called lazy.

Do not place your umbrella on your bed or on a table.

If you are a single lady, superstition holds that you will never marry if you drop your umbrella. Whoops.

And if you believe that last one, you might also believe that dropping an umbrella on the floor will bring a murder (and I guess, by default, a murderer) to the home.

How awkward. To avoid ending on that note, here’s a cute little umbrella.

Image source: kidorable.com

Also On Tap for Today:

Stay tuned for a giveaway tomorrow!

Happy 3 years of knowing you, boyfriend. 🙂

My obsession with The Daily Wag continues: “Now we can hunt squirrels in the boxwood! YES!!!!”

April showers bring May flowers (and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims, obvi)… but what do March showers bring? Anyone?