Britney Spears Crazy For Fitness In Sexy New Video

We previously detailed the advantages of being in a constant anti-psychotic medication-induced zombified stupor ala Britney Spears. They are many. But the main one is that your handlers – incentivized to keep you looking fuckable – can put you through the workout ringer without you being the wiser. Because your brain is the consistency of applesauce. And while you’re dead on the inside, you’re fit as hell on the outside.

In a new Instagram video, white hot trash Spears takes us to her beachside escape, where she does her signature manic Kohl’s fashion show twirling before almost hoisting herself over the railing to her death. But something stops her. It’s certainly not the fact that she wants to live. Is it her kids? Her career? No and no. It’s the Thorazine. Stops the poor thing right in her tracks. Anyway, Spears has vag pooped out two children and still has one of the best bodies in the biz. Forget the South Beach Diet. This is the Myrtle Beach Diet. And I want in.