"The Biggest Loser": Football nicknames for the Season 12 cast

Monday

Aug 29, 2011 at 12:01 AMAug 29, 2011 at 10:30 AM

Jen Wielgus @jenwielgus

As we inch closer to a new season of "The Biggest Loser," I'm thinking (and hoping) the blog might attract some new readers. Folks who haven't been here the past few seasons and don't know that posts filled with nothing but silly nicknames are par for the course.

In fact, I'd like to think those posts are my strong point.

Last week I promised you that since they look like football players in their age-numbered "jerseys," I would come up with football nicknames for the Season 12 cast. So I did. Below you will find what I would call the contestants if they were my football teammates.

Disclaimers: I don't know any of these people personally, so if any of my chosen nicknames are their actual nicknames, it's purely coincidental. Also, I am unsure of exact name pronunciations, so if I botched any in an attempt at humor, mea culpa.

That's another thing you newbies need to know about this blog: Botching things in the name of humor is my other strong point.

Antone "Big Philly" Davis (pictured) -- He's the biggest contestant on the show this season (447 pounds) and he's a former Eagle, which makes him a much-needed Philly-"Biggest Loser" connection. (Shout out to all the local readers! Hello? Anybody there?)

John "Rocky" Rhode -- Whether you're thinking of Sloth from "The Goonies," or the legendary Philly-bred fighter, it's all good. Both have a heart of gold...and talk funny. So you can't help but like 'em.

Vinny "White Legs" Hickerson -- You've heard of Billy "White Shoes" Johnson. Well, if you take a look at the photo, I think you'll agree this nickname is equally appropriate.

Patrick "Veinticinco" Ferrari -- He's No. 25. And note to Chad Johnson: this is actually how you say that number in Spanish.

Ramon "Hot Needle" Medeiros -- His profile says he's a tattoo artist. When I think of tattoos, I think of the instrument of torture used to give people tattoos. And then I remember why I don't have any tattoos.

Joe "The Dude" Mitchell -- OK, so maybe he looks more like Beau Bridges than "Big Lebowski"-era Jeff Bridges. But he's got a little bit of a Jerry Garcia thing going on, too, so I think The Dude works.

Johnny "Boy" Forger -- He's the oldest contestant on the season (65). Here's hoping he gives the young whipper-snappers a run for their money.

Mike Danley "The Manly" -- It rhymes! Also, he's a football coach, and in my experience, they tend to embrace their gender's stereotypical qualities. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Jennifer "JR" Rumple -- Not only does she have a great first name, but she has great initials. My middle name starts with "R" (can you guess what it is?) and my parents always called me "JR" growing up. I'm willing to share the nickname, because this "JR" is the season's lone 30-something. Things-in-common trifecta!

"Always" Sunny Sinclair -- My first thought was "Upton," and I'm sure my middle school history teacher is happy to hear that. But I decided to make a reference to with one of my favorite TV shows, and not just because it's "set" in Philly. If this contestant makes me smile half as much as "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," this could be my favorite "Biggest Loser" season yet.

Jessica "Rabbit" Limpert -- She's not bad, she just...needs a little Bob Harper in her life.

Debbie "D-Train" Lounds -- They can't all be super-creative! Case in (another) point:

Becky "The Comet" Comet -- Too easy! Now, the big question is, does she play QB or wide receiver?

Courtney "Make It" Rainville -- Is that too Pacman Jones? Well, just think of it this way: She's money.

Bonnie "100 Pounds to Lois" Griffin -- I can totally see her looking like the mom from "Family Guy" at the season finale. She's got the red hair and everything!

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