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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well and my state of mind isn't ever optimistic when I am over tired but I am having huge doubts about everything I got Luke for Christmas. I didn't get him a lot of "toy toys" this year, more learning/development toys. I know he doesnt get Christmas or birthdays at all but I wonder if he will like anything I got him.

He is so hard to buy for, all that I know he likes are DVDs and Dinos. He doesn't appropriate play with anything, even his dinos he doesn't truly play...he just carries them around. I know he LOVES them but he doesn't interact with them on a play level. So here I sit asking myself over and over if I did things right for him.

Did I just waste tons of money again this year?
Will he play with anything I got him?
Will the developmental toys be hard for him to do and only make me feel worse?
Will he even attempt to open one gift this year?
Will he ever understand Christmas? Or Birthdays?

I wont really know until the day comes but I cant shake the feeling. I keep dwelling on it but the day is rapidly approaching.. He has no way of telling me what he wants, as much as I get him..I don't know what things could potentially bother him.

Holiday doubts suck. Not sure how to clear my mind of it. Only one way to tell and that is it sit and wait patiently for Christmas to come. All I can do is hope for the best. That he will like at least one gift.

Monday, December 10, 2012

So Luke has been pretty good about his sleep lately, frankly I have been super spoiled. By spoiled I mean only up for a hour or so at night, not doing marathon swinging sessions in his swing at 3 am. Not sure what causes these phases...he can sleep good, all through the night for a few nights at a time then BAM! He is waking up all the time, going buck wild in the living room.

Dont get my wrong hunny, you are sooo cute. I mean absolutely adorable! But you look so much cuter when you are sleeping my dear! I mean helloooooo! How do you expect Momma to keep up with your crazy ass! Throw Momma a bone here kiddo!

Here is the other issue with my all hours of night wake up calls, Emma. Emma doesnt care when Luke wakes up and keeps Momma chasing him all night. She is up bright and early wanting this, that and the other while I desperately drag myself to the coffee pot. Its like a drug addict honestly! I cannot function without it. I would hate to be a fly on the wall in our house, I would be trying to escape the insanity for getting sucked into it.

Sitting here writing this at guess what time?! 3 am while crazy boy is out there swinging and giggling watching Bolt.

I guess 3 is the new sleeping in? Who needs sleep anyway...totally overratted.....

Friday, December 7, 2012

Luke has never slept in his bed...EVER. When he was a baby we had to constantly rock him and hold him. He wouldn't sleep in his crib either. Once he got big enough he started sleeping in a recliner which we bought when we moved into this house (March '10) It was an awesome recliner so I know why he liked it so much. At first we were able to put a water proof pad under his blanket to protect it. After what I like to call "his Autism kicked in" he could tell something was under it and started tearing it off. We could no longer keep it protected.

So we went and bought a shampooer with a hand tool to clean the furniture as well. That seemed to help but we were cleaning everything about once a week maybe every two weeks if we were lucky. The smell started building, the stains weren't coming out but he wouldn't leave his chair....

Finally we broke down and ordered a new chair, a cheap one from online. Didn't see the point in paying for an expensive chair that he will ruin anyway. Well we got exactly what we paid for..its small, hard as a rock, doesn't rock and only reclines.

Guess who hates the new chair?! I am happy he doesn't like the chair because frankly he is too big for it, he needs to sleep in something more comfortable (was hoping his bed HA). But this chair sucks!!!!!! So now he wont touch and and we don't want to either! lol I rather have old stinky back in the house I think. What a waste of money.

Luke is a little out of sorts, he knows its not "his beloved chair" but all in all he seems ok with it other than refusing to sit down. Not sure how this is going to play out but I just envision him wanting to hug his old stinky chair. He LOVED that chair. Its starting to rain here and I keep asking myself...go out and get old stinky before it gets super messed up? Try to clean it one more time???
But then he will want to go back to rocking and sleeping in it. What is a momma to do?!