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Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Years Resolutions. I bet that is all you have heard about for the past month. Possibly longer. I know I have. Yes, this is another blog post on those dreaded, seemingly pointless resolutions. Year upon year I make a resolution or two because it's expected. Somebody in my life always asks what my resolution is. I always have an answer ready, knowing full well I have NO intentions of following through. Resolutions are pointless. I have yet to meet someone who actually takes it seriously enough to make it through the whole year. This year is my year though. Why this year?

I have been struggling with my weight since I had my first child. Before that I was pretty thin. (Tell me that then though and I would have laughed and called you a liar. Not sure what blinders I was wearing, but I actually thought I was fat.) Now after my fourth child I'm sitting at 60lbs overweight and still gaining. I have never been this weight outside of being nine months pregnant. It is very frustrating. I am done having children though. So my excuse of, "well I'm going to have more kids and get fat anyways, so why worry." is just not going to fly anymore. I have no real "reasons" left to look and feel like I do. My legs ache and crack. I'm tired all. the. time. I'm binge eating. I sit on my butt and complain about how crappy I feel. I'm so over hearing my own voice on this matter already.

So here is my for real New Years Resolution:

Lose 50lbs by this time next year.

This feels like the most realistic. It allows me room to fail, readjust my plan, and get back to it. I'm not making a huge list. I am focusing on one single thing. So see you here next year 50lbs lighter.

If you have a NYR, let me know what it is. If you do just so you have something to say, don't tell me, your fake resolution, just say you don't have one. Nothing wrong with NOT having one. Happy New Year everyone!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I was on Facebook (I'm always on Facebook, I'm an addict.) I saw this posted on 102.3 Clear FM. They in turn found it on The Stir. All I have to say is when I grow up I wanna be cool like this. Seriously.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Christmas is one of my most favourite times of the year. Family get togethers. Fabulous food. Of course the gifts. The gifts we give to others that is. Sure, I am human and love getting gifts. What I most enjoy now about Christmas is seeing my own children's faces light up. Watching them tear through the Christmas wrapping paper. Ripping into their siblings gifts if they are just a bit too slow and don't seem to be enjoying the process as much as the other. The best is sharing my love of the Christmas movies with my children. Sure I love the adult movies. Most of all, I have a great excuse to watch my favourites. The Christmas movies made for the kids. Here are my favourtie classics:

My all time Christmas movies are not complete without these two below.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Well Christmas is upon us in 10 days! 10! That is not a lot of time left. (I haven't even decorated my tree yet *blush*) There is still time to make a difference in someone's life. Christmas time should not be the only time of the year to give, but if you don't give at any other time of the year, Christmas would naturally be the best time.

I am proud that Manitoba is one of the top 8 generous Canadian provinces (number two to be exact), according to this article. A lot of people assume you need a huge monetary value to give. I have learned that this is simply not true. In most cases it is as simple as giving up an evening a week or even month. If you don't want to volunteer your time, it is as simple as donating your special coffee fund twice a week. Don't believe me? The average cost of a specialty coffee at your local Starbucks, Time Hortons and McDonald's is $5.00 for a large. Which if you are like me, you need that or more. Unlike me, most people have two or more of these coffees in one day. Now are you really going to try and tell me that you cannot gift even a little bit of money to help make a life better? Want to make sure your money is going where it is supposed to? You can also donate with a physical gift.

This past summer we realized that we simply have too many bikes in our garage. We have at least two tricycles, two ride ons, three childrens bikes for different stages, four adult bikes. We cannot possibly ride all of these. The intent was to save and let the next child ride. Well, my teen crashes his bikes regularly, and we couldn't put training wheels on another. Seeing as we didn't need those two, because we were going to buy one with training wheels attached for E this coming summer, we decided we were going to sell the two bikes. However, they needed some minor fixing before we did that. Six months later they are still in the garage and taking up precious room. I have been wondering what to do with these things as I no longer want to try to fix and sell them. Then along came a pink paper from my son's elementary school.It's called Cycle of Giving: The 24 Hour Kids Bike Building Marathon. Up until the day the paper was sent home I had never hear ofThe Wrench. From December 9th to 16th, my son's school is collecting kids bikes (with 8" to 20" wheels) to support a special holiday project called Cycle of Giving. This marathon brings volunteer mechanics together to transform unused and discarded bicycles into holiday dreams come true. They are aiming to build over 150 bikes for Winnipeg Kids in need. "In the process, it will raise funds to purchase bike lights and locks for kids and provide free bikes and bike programming across the city".

Well how about that. It just takes literally three minutes to pack that bike or bikes into a vehicle (or walk them) and get them to the school. If this is not happening at your school, no worries. Visit the site The Wrench and learn more about how you can be apart of this awesome Cycle of Giving!

This December 11th was bitter sweet for me. My baby turned one year old. He is my last. I am excited for his accomplishments. His milestone hits. His smiles and laughter. His tiny first steps. His need to try and scare us with his growls. His wanting to play with his siblings. His bear crawl chases. His sudden independence with feeding himself, yet his need for me to be in eye sight.

I am slightly a bit broody. I didn't want anymore children after L. Four truely is plenty I think. Yet now that L is one, all I see is my babies slipping away from me. Today I looked at E and he looks so old. Gone is his angelic baby face. There was something different about him that said he would be a preteen soon. A is losing her baby charm as well. She has questions about snow melting, and hot stoves. Nail polishes and shoes. Her vocabulary is increasing and E is teaching her what he learns at school. She is a clever parrot. C is the oldest by far. In four short years he will be striking out on his own, to college or where ever his heart desires. In one short year he will be inquiring about drivers education. This leaves me wanting to keep L young. He too though is changing as he learns through his own explorations. This year went to fast. I don't think I cuddled enough. Or enjoyed enough smiles, cries, laughs, bumps, et cetera. I'm sure I did more than my share. But is it ever really enough once that time is no longer there?

So here is to the next year of journey for all four of my children, most of all for me and my hubby. Our lives will change once again as the needs of the baby fall away leaving the needs of a toddler in it's wake.

L's birthday cake. First time ever using cake decorating icing bag and tips. Not too bad, if I do say so myself.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

We have gone through this before. Remember? If you don't, let me refresh yourmemory.

You will see that I can utilize your services many ways. My husband on the other hand loves wine. If I could drink red wine like he can vodka would definitely be on the back burner. Alas, I cannot. White wine doesn't make me feel all that great. And Red wine cause me to throw up. I can drink one glass of white wine, but that is all. Seeing as hubby likes the red, I try to taste a little.

Last weekend he wanted some wine. I saw a bottle that caught my eye in the sea of coloured bottles with labels that varied little from the other. It said, "DRINK ME". I wanted it. If I didn't like it, hubby will drink pretty much any wine anyways.

Well look at me it's a red wine I can drink! I am in love! So move over Vodka. I do love thee, but now you must share my affections with this little gal over here.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

No not children. I am in no way, shape or form competing with the Duggars. God bless that family, the parents are amazing. That amazing however, I am not.

I turned 34 on November 28th. I am not sure how I feel about that. Oh wait, yes I am. I am 34 and my life has come to a standstill. I am in a never ending hamster wheel, except I look nothing like a hamster. (I'd like to think I look better than a hamster, even though that hamster is most likely in better shape.) I have come a long way from where I have been, but I have so much farther to go to be where I want to be. Because of this I am unhappy and from what my best friend tells me it shows. My life has become the old adage, "the more things change, the more they stay the same". So just call me Debby Downer and Miss JudgiPants.

I don't like myself this way. I had thought I was less down. Denial has you seeing all sorts of delusions like this. My very best friend has even had to block me for small increments of time to avoid seeing the negativity on facebook. And wanted to ask why I had so many kids if it stressed me out that much. I wanted to cry. Did I really sound like I didn't want my children anymore? Did I really sound like my life was really that bad? Reality is, if I am honest with myself I love my life now. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my job, even if it has change a bit and I'm going to be doing something different and it scares the crap out of me. I've rid myself of all the negative people I had in my life. I try to avoid most negative television shows. (Except Days Of Our Lives. I'm an addict.) I cannot enjoy this wonderful life I have with my husband and my children because of the one negative I cannot get rid of. ME. Now it's time to work on me. No more excuses. There is so much I want to do. I have ideas soaring through my mind. My fear of me, my potential, my failures, et cetera is keeping me in a very negative place.

Up until now I used to dread the 30's. Now I am thankful I'm not in my 20's and oblivious to a lot of things. I am also very thankful for the amazing friends I have surrounded myself with including my best friend. Up until now there was never a silver lining to look forward too. My 30's are turning out more silver linings than I ever thought possible. Crap, could I be growing up?

On to the next phase of my life. Getting me healthy. Learning how to put this Debby Downer and Miss JudgiPants in there rightful places on the shelf. Getting out into the real world and engaging with people instead of hiding in my home. (I would say computer, but thankfully, I have come quite a long way there and don't think of everyone on here while I'm away in real life wishing I'm here. I love those who've I've come to know better, but there is a time and a place for everyting.) So here's to getting me "out there". Cheers!

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Thank you all for your well wishes. Every day my mom gets stronger. She has been moved to a different hospital. It looks like her vision was affected, so my sister is trying to get her in to see an eye doctor and a day pass from the hospital. As she is seeing double vision this makes her nauseated. Also because of where the aneurysm was (it's over the gag reflex), they are waiting for it to heal. So hopefully that part is healed and it's the vision and that it is an easy fix. Can't wait for her to be home. Yet so thankful she's made it this far.