Monday, August 2, 2010

Here is what I am worried about today....

The school year is around the corner and Lilly starts Kindergarten. We will get new shoes, clothes, a backpack and lunch box. She will make new friends and I hope to as well. She can read. She is a born artist. She does well at ballet and other sports. But what worries me most is what socially lies around the corner? The images and information out there about "mean girls" and bullies is overwhelming.

One of my favorite bloggers describes her personal bully experience in grammar school and it scared me to death. No Style Points describes the horror and a lack of dealing with the problem by her parents as well as the school. Through her writing one can still see the pain and damage it did to her psyche.

I don't want this for Lilly, or for James of course, but I have a feeling he will be fine. I worry about her because she is so like me. Every day is a new chance at making friends, honoring the ones I have, being the center of attention and most of all, being loved.

My growing up story gains momentum, much like a fishing story, each year the "fish" gets bigger and bigger. The bottom line is that I moved so much throughout my young life that I never had a "place." And when I finally did have a place, we moved again. Let me make this clear: we did not move because we were escaping anything. The military moved my family every three years except for the years my sister was in high school. My dad did a "hardship" tour so she could finish school with her friends. By the time I reached high school, I couldn't for the life of me find my place so I asked to be moved from this school to that one to the next one trying to find peace. But through this all, even when I was at my loneliest and the most unhappy, I was never bullied. I imagine that if this would happen in today's world, I would have been. This is what I fear most.

I think today I find solace in my own life that I am home, in every sense of the word. But for Lilly, she is just starting. What can I do to make sure that SHE feels at home, loved and comfortable not only in her own house, but socially?.

This is what I worry about today. Tomorrow it will be about why James refuses to wear swim trunks instead of his Speedo. Welcome to my head.

3 comments:

I know how hard this is (believe me; I really, really know!) but be confident. If your daughter becomes a target, you will take action. You will be strong for her. The most important thing is what you're doing everyday, right now: teaching her that she matters, that no one, ever, has the right to treat her poorly.

I didn't have that. I thought I deserved what I got. Your daughter will never think that because you have told her something completely different.

It is important to be concerned about the world we live in. everyday unimaginable things happen to the young and old alike. with your children, your home is their respite and their ability to share their day, your watchful involvement in their lives and the love they get from extended family surrounds them in this envelope of love. The message: you are important and I love you!

Bullying should never be taken as reality I don't think. It most likely won't happen. If it does, it has to be faced. Keeping one's eye in the ball is the secret I think: the ball is learning. The other stuff takes care of itself as I see it. The great thing about experiences is that they mold us into letting them make us better.