A New Job in a New City

Jesse started his new job the beginning of 2007 with high hopes. 2006 had been a difficult year of finishing law school, preparing for the bar, taking the bar, waiting for the bar results, morning sickness and then spending a few months not knowing whether he was going to have a job at the beginning of the year or not.

We were very ready to get back into a “normal” routine after months of upheaval and uncertainty. And we were excited to start saving in earnest after years of depleting our savings.

But within the first month at his new job, Jesse realized this job was going to be a lot harder than he had anticipated. The learning curve was steep, the hours were long, the work was stressful and the office environment was tense.

It begin to wear on Jesse and within a few months, he was almost continually exhausted and stressed. More big projects arose and he had to put in longer hours. Jesse, the always easy-going, fun-loving guy, was so overloaded at work that he rarely smiled or enjoyed life anymore.

I knew it was becoming too much for him and I felt powerless to help him. I tried to make our home a welcoming haven for him, I tried to encourage him as best as I knew how, but the pressure he was dealing with at work was enormous.

He was working so many hours and was so focused on keeping up with his job that he wasn’t home much anymore. And when he was home, he wasn’t very “present.” It was a hard, hard time. He hated being “absent” from our family, but he also had to keep up with things at work lest his job be in jeopardy.

The stress trickled down to me and I began neglecting my own health. Soon I started experiencing issues in my pregnancy. I became very anemic and ended up in the hospital for five days when I was 34 weeks along. They were worried I was going to have to be induced early since my hemoglobin and platelet counts were so low. But God intervened and I was able to carry Kaitlynn to 38 weeks before being induced.

These health issues felt like the last thing Jesse needed to be dealing with. And I felt so bad that I was adding extra burdens to his already-overloaded plate. But God used it for good, because it was a wake-up call to both of us to realize something major needed to happen in Jesse’s job situation, or he needed to quit.

The thought of him quitting scared us though, as we desperately needed the insurance benefits from his job — especially now that I was having so many health issues. It was a vicious cycle and we felt trapped.

We prayed and talked about it a lot. More and more it felt like it was the right thing for Jesse to turn in his resignation. And yet at the same time, what about our financial goals and hopes and dreams? Wouldn’t it be completely shooting ourselves in the foot to voluntarily cut off most of our income?

And how would we survive if Jesse wasn’t able to get a new job right away? We had been working hard to try and save money, but after all the medical bills from my health problems, we only had enough in savings to live on for a few months. And my income from my online business was certainly not enough for us to survive on.

It seemed like it would be foolish to resign just because a job was too stressful, so we tried to come up with ways to restructure things in our home and lives to relieve as much stress as we could. We figured if we could just ride this out for a few more months, things would probably get a lot smoother.

But then very unexpectedly, Jesse was asked to resign. While this came as a complete shock to us because no one had any idea we were praying about him resigning, we took it as God’s clear direction for us. But we didn’t know what the next step might be, or how we were going to live if Jesse didn’t find a job very quickly.

So without much warning, we were left without our primary income source — in a new city with little support, few friends and even fewer business contacts.

At first, we were pretty confident finding a new job wouldn’t be too hard. After all, we were in a big city and Jesse had his law license. How hard could it really be to find something which would pay the bills?

Well, apparently it was a whole lot harder than we’d initially envisioned. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months.

We applied for just about every job under the sun. We prayed harder than we’d ever prayed before. We contacted anyone and everyone who might have a possible job lead. We followed up with every application and did our best to leave no stone unturned.

And yet, no one was even calling to offer Jesse an interview, let alone a job.

I wish I could say that I kept a cheerful attitude through all of this. On the contrary, I woke up every morning with a sick feeling in my stomach wondering how much longer things would go on like this. And I’m very ashamed to admit it, but I often found myself angry at my husband.

I felt alone, scared and stressed, and I took out my frustrations on my husband — which was the last thing he needed at one of the lowest points in his life. Our marriage started feeling the toll, and during those months of unemployment, there were times when it was only hanging on by a thread.

[Just a short side note: A few months after all of this took place, God really convicted me of how wrong my attitudes were during this whole experience and I went and humbly asked for my husband’s forgiveness — which he graciously gave to me, even though I didn’t deserve it. I’m thrilled to report that our marriage is much stronger today as a result of all of these trials and I believe beyond any shadow of a doubt that I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole wide world! He has stuck by me through thick and thin and loved me no matter what. I’m so blessed to be Jesse’s wife!]

Gratefully, we didn’t have any debt and we were still living on a strict budget, so the job loss didn’t plunge us into complete financial ruin. I can’t even fathom what it would have been like had we piled up a bunch of debt in law school or followed the advice offered by many following law school: to go buy a house and live extravagantly now that my husband was officially a lawyer.

While our marriage was in bad shape, we did make one good decision — to be as creative and resourceful as we could in order to avoid dipping into our Emergency Fund unless we absolutely had to.

At this point, I had an online bookstore and a small personal blog which I’d slowly been growing. I had recently written a course on Supermarket Savings and we decided to experiment and run a big blow-out sale. We set up an affiliate program for the sale and notified as many of our online friends and companies about the sale.

By God’s grace, the three-day sale on our ebook package earned enough money for us to live on for a few months. We could hardly believe it! That was a huge bright spot in the midst of tremendous discouragement.

We started to really think outside the box when it came to our income: Jesse took on some contract jobs, we got a newspaper route and I continued to bring in some supplementary income through the online bookstore.

It was also during this time that the idea for MoneySavingMom.com was born. There weren’t any blogs listing weekly deal match-ups for drug stores at that point and many people who had purchased my Supermarket Savings ecourse were writing and asking for more help and counsel.

I’d learned a lot about blogging and monetizing a blog over the past few years and I figured starting a frugal, money-saving blog might be a great opportunity to test some of those ideas out. Jesse was excited about the idea, so we brain-stormed a name and set up the site.

At that point, I was hoping the site would provide a place for me to practically help people learn to live on less by sharing things which had allowed our family to stay out of debt and live on a beans-and-rice budget. Little could we have dreamed that MoneySavingMom.com would someday soon be earning a full-time income and help us be able to save and pay cash for a home!

Unbeknownst to us, while it seemed like we were getting nowhere in the job search, God was doing some pretty amazing things behind-the-scenes to lay things out for our lives to be turned upside-down — in a very wonderful way!

Boy, did I need to hear this today! I am there with no job for my man, and him informing me he thinks God isn’t calling him to do a “job” but work on our financial coaching…which is very sporadic at best now. I have gone through the gamut of emotions with this…at first supporting and trusting God, to lately getting very scared and angry. Thank you for sharing your story and I can’t wait for it to be continued! Pray for us if you think of us.

Bravo! I am really happy for you and your family. It brought tears to my eyes because I am going through the same route as you are and have 2 little ones to watch over while my husband is seeking for a job in this tough economy. We were grateful to have found sites like yourself to help us save the little money that we have coming through. Thank you so much for all your help. God bless you!

Great post. I can empathise with you as my husband also lost his job and he was out of work for over 6 months. In that time we nearly lost our house, it was very stressed especially since I had just had a baby. I didn’t get cross with my husband but I was a lot more fortunate than you as I had family close that stepped in to help us alot with a place to stay, food and free babysitting.

Upon reflection, I learnt the most in those 6 months than ever before. I learnt; I didn’t need to have a home to be a family and that money is valuable so it is important not to throw it away on trival, frivolous things.

For me things got a lot harder when my husband got a job as we had to move away from our home and rent a house.

Last year I started organising our money and realised we could save a considerable amount before that we were just worried about paying bills. I prayed hard and came across this site. I have to tell you by following your advice we have paid off our remaining debts, build an emergency fund and are well on the way to a 6 months savings nest egg. We are even considering paying the mortgage off in 6 years time something that we would never even considered with out your inspiration.

Don’t be to hard on yourself what you have achieved recently is something to be very proud of.

Thank you for sharing a bit of this painful part of your financial story. I’m looking forward to Part 4 (and more) because there is a happy ending/beginning to this story.
We are fans of Dave Ramsey’s financial plan, too. It has radically changed our way of giving, spending and saving.
Peace.

Your creativity, dedication, honesty, and humility are an inspiration. I know I speak for THOUSANDS when I say how grateful I am that you started this blog. I’ve found so many great saving opportunities thanks to you, as well as support for our goals, too. You’ve done great work, provided a wonderful ministry, and should be so proud of this website and all you’ve accomplished with it. Congrats!

Thank you so much for sharing. My husband recently lost his job, and we are on the job hunt. Unfortunately, we do have loads of debt that we were trying to pay off….not sure how everything will turn out, but I am trusting that God will provide.

Excellent Post-I have been following your blog for quite some time now and really enjoy your personal posts. Anytime I feel like I will never get out of debt, I read MoneySavingMom and it inspires me. Thanks.

Thank you so much for posting about all of this, it really means a lot. My husband was layed off 3 weeks ago and luckly the company is letting us stay on their insurance for right now since we are pregnant with #2 child. We do have a mortgage , which makes things hard. Your blog has really helped see how I can use coupons to get the most savings which has really come in handy in this small amount of time my husband has been off. God is so good though!!! I must say I have felt those things as well with my husband and have apologized it wasn’t his fault and we know God has a plan for us!
Thank you again for sharing all of your story it means alot! 🙂

I, too, have walked in your shoes with a husband who has lost a job twice in our 17 year marriage. It’s certainly not easy and I acted the SAME EXACT way you did (so don’t feel too bad, I think we all go through that when the situation arises like that and like you, I felt AWFUL but we got therapy and it really helped!). I do feel it made our marriage stronger, we appreciate each other so much more and we scrimped and scaped through many years of our marriage. Unlike you, we do have mortgage debt and a very small amount on our credit card but that is all and within a month or two, the credit card debt will be gone. I’m proud in the fact that we don’t live extravagently and we wait to purchase large ticket items until we can pay cash for them. You have so many good ideas that I continue to rave about your site to my husband (It’s like your site is part of our family!) and anyone else who asks about all of my coupons and deals. I’m so thankful you started this site, you have made an incredible difference in our lives and I’ll be forever grateful. Keep up the terrific work you’re doing and have fun buying a house by paying in cash…yay for you guys!

Amazing! So inspiring to read one of God’s stories where he has a much bigger — and better — picture in mind for our lives that we would never be able to dream up for ourselves! Such a wonderful example of His omniscience. May others also see how a dark time in their lives may be surrounded by His Light, if they “lean on him and not their own understanding”!

I love this story! Thanks so much for writing it for us, it’s incredible to see how God has worked in your life. My husband is in law school now and I’m working and being a very careful budgeter and shopper, thanks to tips from your blog and others. We still have a little bit of the mentality that “once he gets out of law school & gets a job, everything will be ok” although I am sure we will still be budgeting and couponing so our money will be freed up to save or pay off school debt… but in the back of my mind I do think, well maybe he WON’T find a job, maybe I’ll have to work a few more years, and maybe some of the same struggles you faced are ahead for us, but I am thankful to know that it will only strengthen our faith. Thanks again!

Isn’t it amazing how much God wants to show us our dependence on him even when we think we have it figured out. Thank you for this post and how much it reminded me that yes it is good to be responsible with money but also to remember that even in that we need to be leaning on Him to provide for us.

Thank you for a really great article, can’t wait for part 4! As a recently unemployed mom living in a city with a horrible job market I can relate to everything that you’ve described. I will have to fight you on one thing though, I think that my husband is the best husband in the world, sorry! My husband has been my rock and constantly reminds me to embrace this time off of work and do what I want while I can. I believe that this has been a test for our marriage and our faith, and so far I’m happy to report that both are much stronger than when we had two incomes coming in. Your article is a great reminder to keep pushing forward and that everything happens for a reason. Thank you for giving me a boost for the day and the reassurance that GOD truly does have a plan for me and my family.

Isn’t it amazing how God can take a “bad” situation and work it out for good. I have seen this over and over in my life. It is hard to see it when you are going through it, but God is always faithful. What a great story! Thanks so much for sharing!! Rene

Yay! I’ve been waiting for part 3 for a long time. This is the answer to the people who have been saying “How nice that YOU were able to save up for a house, but we can’t do that because husband doesn’t have a job,” etc. Well, you WERE there! There’s hope … that’s your point in sharing this with us.

Thank you so much for posting such an inspirational and motivational story! I can’t wait to get to the happy ending but like all good things they take time right. My husband and I also have a similar goal. Right now we do have a little bit of debt but we’re working hard to pay it off in the next 8 months and then hopefully we’ll be able to start saving to pay 100% cash for a our fixer upper home! Your posts give me so much encouragment in a world where dreaming big is frowned upon. Congrats on achieving your dreams ya’ll deserve it!

When we were losing our business (which was the sole income for our entire family-we employed both of us) I behaved in a similiarly bad way. My wonderful husband had the foresight to see the economy spiraling down-ward and we also picked up a couple of paper routes. Doing this is extremely difficult for us, as he is the one to get up every morning at 2:15 to deliver, and I (so very thankfully) have landed a full-time gig that doesn’t pay well, but affords us health insurance. He is working to get us into a better situation during his daylight hours, when he should be sleeping. Still, we are so thankful for the opportunity to earn while others are unemployed. I do wish we had gotten our financial act together earlier on, though- an emergency fund would be lovely.

Crystal,
I got started reading Biblical Womanhood about four years ago, shortly after reading Dave Ramsey and while researching frugal living. I happened upon Frugal Friday, and began drinking up information like a thirsty woman in a desert! 🙂 In short order, I read through your entire blog and was inspired by your love for the Lord and your family, your simple lifestyle, and your wise stewardship of money.

I began challenging myself to see how I might honor my marriage and my God by spending wisely. In four years, my sweet husband and I have progressed to Baby Step 6, paying off the mortgage. If you had suggested four years ago that such a thing were possible, I might have called you crazy.

When Money Saving Mom was new, I once e-mailed you about the difficulty of living counterculturally in Johnson County. You e-mailed back to sweetly ask if I might like to “meet up” sometime, as frugally minded people living against the grain might do well to encourage one another. I am going to admit that I had given you a bit of celebrity status, and told my husband that I wasn’t sure I could meet THE Money Saving Mom in person. I was certain you might scoff and my pre-packaged snacks for the kiddos, or my continued drinking of expensive soda. 😉

When you admit here a time of loneliness and a need for community, my heart hurts. I missed an opportunity to meet, I’m certain, a very down-to-earth and kind friend. I regret that. I think it is very honest and admirable to admit times of loneliness, marital discord, and hopelessness. That honesty is what brings so many readers here, I’m certain. The deals are far secondary.

Anyway, I celebrate for you. I applaud the sweetness of your story, your bravery, and the accomplishment of your 100% down dream.

Helping people to have HOPE and to accomplish humble, decent dreams in an honorable way is no small thing. Your “money saving ministry” has been a blessing to this family.

I am on the edge of my seat for part 4.
My husband is going on his 9th month of being paid off. Like Jesse, he has not even had one interview! We are experiencing major upheaval. I have put our children in school for the first time in their lives (they are 8,7,7,6,&,6). God has graciously supplied some freelance work for my husband and I am able to sub at my children’s school. And I am convinced: God is up to something and He’s up to something good! And He provides in unexpected ways.
Thanks for your example and honesty. Your story will encourage many people!

It is encouraging to see how God has blessed your family. We just recently set up a strict budget for our family and it has been amazing to see God move on our behalf in just this short amount of time. He truly does bless us when He sees we are being good stewards in what he has entrusted to us.

Thank you for sharing this- it actually brought tears to my eyes, though I see I’m not the only one (thank goodness!). I started reading your blog several months ago…maybe even a year now, and it’s helped us gain control of our finances (though we are no where near your level!). My husband received a “promotion” in early December in another city we had planned to move after the new year. He was with the new job for 2 weeks and they decided to eliminate the position. I am so grateful for your blog because without having put some of your practices in place months ago, I’m sure we would be in a huge world of hurt right now. Thankfully, we are doing well- better than I ever could have hoped to be on my small income.

I’m loving this series! I really appreciate your honesty — particularly about how this impacted your marriage. I know how easy it is to think others have a “perfect” marriage, while we’re stuck with all these flaws. Your post has given me a lot comfort!

yes, yes, yes and yes! ditto on all that was said above. you are a wonderful writer and have a powerful way of sharing your story. your way of confessing your very human foibles makes us all feel less alone and more human ourselves. thanks

Hi Crystal! Thanks for sharing your amazing story. It’s such an inspiration. I wanted to comment on a common theme I’ve seen throughout your blog. You consistently bring up how blessed/lucky you are to be married to your husband, but I’d like to say that I think HE’S extremely lucky to have you! I think it’s pretty amazing how you’ve set up multiple businesses from scratch by doing your own independent research. However, I think what I admire the most about you is not only that you’ve set up a lucrative side income, but you’re doing something that really inspires other women, creating a camarderie amongst the online community!

i was going to ask how long ago all of this happened. i see in an above comment that you published supermarket savings in 2007. so about 3 years ago? wow

when i graduated from law school in may 2004, job opportunities were really scarce. several friends had no job after graduation and others worked for a few weeks after the bar and then were laid off. it is very scary to have almost 100k in student loans and no job.

how awesome you were open to seeing how your attitude affected your marriage. changing my bad attitude is so much harder than pointing out other’s bad attitude =)

We, too, moved to a new city for my husband’s job and were DEVASTATED 2 years later when he was laid off in Feb of 2009. We hadn’t been there long enough to build lasting friendships or a network of support during that time and we struggled. But God is good all the time and He has in the last year allowed us to sell our house within 2 months (who does that in this economy?) and take a job in another city close to family. It doesn’t pay as much and we have had to cut corners, but we are grateful for His provision. He has worked our situation out for good and I praise Him for that!

Wow Crystal, this was so kind of you to share. I sometimes feel like people try to project that their life is so perfect and wonderful, that it can make others feel more down about their own situations. Don’t get me wrong, when something great happens I love to share and love to hear about it from others, but it seems like there is such pressure to project that everything is ‘roses’ sometimes when it isn’t, and it’s easy to assume all the other families you know made the right decisions or have the perfect marriage, etc etc. But we’re all human, we all go through ups and downs, learning along the way. I love reading this story and how you ended up starting this site, and it’s great to know that it wasn’t smooth sailing all the way, but you and your husband have worked so hard and are finally achieving so much! You really inspire me all the time, thank you for sharing this personal story, I’m sure it’s not easy to share, putting your story out for the world to read, but it really is appreciated. I love hearing about all you’ve accomplished, thanks for letting us share the joy!!

sorry I forgot to clarify in my post, that the reason it’s great to know it wasn’t smooth sailing all the way is because it gives others hope, hope that things will get better, hope that we CAN achieve our goals and overcome obstacles, and that is an amazing thing. 🙂

I really appreciated this post. I went through this last year when my husband quit his job and I was angry too. I think sometimes we put bloggers on pedestals and think their lives are perfect. I especially find myself sometimes reading a blog and thinking “That’s easy for you to say…”. Then there is a post like this one that makes you realize that bloggers are real people with real struggles. Thanks for sharing…

Thank you so much!!!! I was SOOOO happy to see Part 3 was up today! Of course, you left us an awesmoe cliffhanger and I can’t wait to hear Part 4. You know what I absolutely LOVE about your story is that you and your husband were not swayed by what others said to you…like buying a house once he got a lawyer job. I WISH my husband and I had been as strong once we both had landed full time well paying jobs…if only we had stayed on course and been wise to not listen to the “majority”….I have so many regrets, but I pray that God can use our story someday for good, too!

Love this story! We recently began reading up on Dave Ramsey and are really pleased and hopeful about the goals we have made based on his plan. As a new blogger, I would love if you could write some posts about how you made your blog so successful! Thanks again!

This post was so encouraging to me, Crystal. Thank you! My hubby is currently without much work (he’s self-employed, in construction) and things are tight . . . but God is faithful! We have been in this spot before and I know He will get us through. Thanks for your transparency also about how God worked in your marriage–I can so relate to getting angry and frustrated with my husband when things are stressful, which is obviously the last thing he needs when times are difficult. This post was just a great reminder and encouragement, just what I needed today. 🙂

Hi Crystal,
I was just writing about how I found your blog for years ago and lost my comment…I don’t know if it was submitted before I was done,or what…any ways I wanted to say thanks for all your hard work and allowing God to use you and grow you. Im now pregnant with our fifth child and am searching for ways to really stretch our budget. I am new to couponing and stumbled on your new blog this way. I am not putting you on a pedestal, but I think you are a wonderful example of a Proverbs 31 woman. You work hard and bring your family a lot of comfort and joy, and encourage other women. I have seen through your posts how you have grown in Godly wisdom through the years. Thank you for being transparent and being online for many women to learn from.
It seems that God has brought you through a time so you can “laugh at the days to come.”
~Stacy

Hi (again) Crystal,
I don’t think my previous comment was submitted. I was writing that I really enjoyed your other blog too. I found it over four years ago when I quite work to be home at home full time and was pregnant with our third baby. It brought me a lot of encouragement. I was sad when it was no longer, but completely understood your reasoning. I was glad to find your new one. I really enjoy the content of this one as well.
~Stacy

Praising God for His goodness in your life! What a beautiful story! I, also, really appreciate your honesty, especially when things aren’t always “smiles and sunshine”!
I’d love for you to share how many years it took you to save up for the house, and also did you determine a set percentage of your gross/net income to save each month?

It’s nice to know that we’re not the only ones who have picked up and moved for a job only to see it disappear months later. I just wish we’d known about Dave back then. We’d have avoided so much struggle and would be debt free by now.

What a wonderful post; it’s amazing what we can go through when we set our minds to it (trust me, I know!). Kudos to you for keeping your faith through the hard times, I know it can be difficult. But it sounds like better times are right around the corner.

I’ve got to say, I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now, and I’m really enjoying it. Keep up the great work!