5 Things I wish people understood about fat women

I’ve moaned and groaned…

about everything from the way fat women in media are portrayed to learning how to wear you the best way possible. However, we’ve still got a long way to go before we can fully comprehend that fat people are just people. So, to remind you of how ignorant you still are, I’ve rounded out what I think people need to understand about being a fat woman.

1. To fat women, losing weight isn’t as simple as just dodging carbs

Whether it’s your girlfriend at work losing some lbs for a wedding or a family member unhappy with themselves, there’s always that talk of dieting. God forbid you voice your trials and tribulations and in walks that one dude who feels the need to insert himself in your discussion. “If you just set goals for yourself and stick to it, you’ll do it.” Those people are the very same ones who think they’d solve racism in one lazy tweet.

Weight loss is a math equation—to an extent. Everyone and they mama consume, gain and lose weight differently. Genetics, family disease and a whole lot of other factors come into play when it comes to weight gain/loss. For one person to overhear a portion of your weight journey and conclude it’s your fault is just straight-up stupid and utterly useless.

2. Trying to fit the skinny mold will still bite you in the ass

No matter what you do, you’ll never hear the end of it whether you do or don’t change your eating habits. I remember the eye shaming I got eating a glazed doughnut in the elevator from some thin woman. Then, my sad salad for lunch still initiates looming eyes all over my plate, as coworkers were shocked that I’d be so inclined to eat lettuce. Vegetables and even, get this, fruit, are still part of my (and other fat women’s) daily consumption.

3. Being someone’s fat fetish does nothing for us

Even now in 2018, there are still people who will consider themselves unprejudiced, but prefer fat people to date other fat people. But that’s just not the real tea, sis. Fat shamers around the world think so long as chubby chasers exist, no straight-size person will have to bend the will to someone plus-size.

As f*cked as that sounds, it’s how people think. It’s almost as if I should be grateful that I’m someone’s fetish, otherwise I couldn’t get the D anywhere else on earth. Again, false, but everyone has a type that they’ve been conditioned to desire. I wonder what things would be like had fat people paved the way for European standards of beauty.

4. We tune out when you say how fat you think you are

In my opinion, everyone’s got a little bit of body dysmorphia, but there are some who are just delusional. Just to be sure I don’t offend too many people reading this, I’ll use an analogy.

Think about every time Regina George from the ever iconic Mean Girls called herself fat, despite being at the peak of popularity in school. For me to hear that, warrants a dramatic eye roll that would get me slapped by my mother. Still not convinced? Then how about you just watch this sketch about nerds from Portlandia to sum up my point better.

5. Being body positive isn’t being anti-diet

If I got a dollar every time someone said I endorse unhealthiness for supporting marginalized bodies, I’d live in a brownstone in Harlem. But alas. The same way we deny black people their visiblility in media, we do the same with fat people.

All we’re saying is we don’t care what you look like, just don’t be a racist shitbag. That’s really all I ask for. It’s no one’s business or concern to point out anyone’s eating habits. But if you feel you are that pressed about someone’s size, set up an intervention since you claim to know them soooo well.