The obervations and opinions of an asthmatic, diabetic, father of two, who may or may not be able to land a triangle choke on you.

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Santa Clause

As you know, I come from a first world country. As such, I have decided to ask for things that will help me and my country’s current dire situation. I am also generous and humble, so my list has only 3 wishes.

Cellphone service
If you could find it in your heart to improve the length of time it takes for me to sometimes connect to my data network, that would be greatly appreciated. Having to wait more than 90 seconds to view the latest kitten meme is a major inconvenience on the quality of life by many in my country.

This will not do!

Line-ups
Sometimes at the grocery store, where I buy a lot of food with which to keep me and my family’s bellies full, there is a horribly long line-up. I have had to wait more than 20 minutes some times! By the time I get home I have missed the newest episode of Honey Boo Boo. I am then forced to watch it on my DVR, after everyone else has seen it.

Say no to waiting.

And finally,

Food Services
Not nearly enough restaurants deliver food. This can be especially troublesome when I am too lazy to cook food that I had just bought from the grocery store. One evening I was in the mood for some polish cuisine but could not find a restaurant in my area that would deliver this particular type of food. I was not in the mood for any of the food that the other 50 restaurants in my area prepare and deliver. I ended up eating a steak cooked on my barbecue with rice and vegetables. Not very Polish at all.

We can all relate if we have even an ounce of empathy.

Santa, if you could find it in your heart to make these wishes come true you will not only improve my situation but the situation of millions of people in first world countries.

Thank you.

[Hat tip to Ad-libb3d, who wrote a hilarious post involving a Christmas list which inspired me to write this one for fun]