yunki - it's never easy with children, we're all novices filled with angst! Agree with the Cap'n - get some fresh air and take the kids with you, let them run around or fill up the paddling pool or go to the park.

CG best wishes, and thanks for the advice you offered a while back regarding my son.
as for crappy days, unfortunately hes now worse than ever, serious mental issues, addicted to drugs, and right now my youngest lad has run away from home to take drugs with him. the police are out looking for them and im stuck at work 20 miles away leaving my wife to deal with it all. oh, and her brother has just been arrested for breach of the peace for being p*ssed up, abusing his mum and my wife, and punching a hole in the kitchen door. families eh :-/

unfortunately hes now worse than ever, serious mental issues, addicted to drugs, and right now my youngest lad has run away from home to take drugs with him. the police are out looking for them and im stuck at work 20 miles away leaving my wife to deal with it all. oh, and her brother has just been arrested for breach of the peace for being p*ssed up, abusing his mum and my wife, and punching a hole in the kitchen door. families eh :-/

I'll say it, as I'm sure others feel the same, but I don't know what to say...not useful, but heartfelt Keep it together for your wife.

yunki - I did not intentionally derail your thread - I read it when I was having a 'moment'. Sorry and I do know how bloomin' hard it is with kids.

Thank you chaps for your kind words.

sadexpunk - I am so saddened to read your post, really can't imagine your heartache and living with such a sad situation. Is there anything at all that Social Services can do with regard to rehab, even in a different area with structured support? Please continue to be strong.

Was thinking about your post and your son. I didn't see the original thread unfortunately. I don't have a son in that position but my brother was. He smoked a lot of weed, took other drugs and ended up in a very bad way. Sectioned twice, the first time I was working in the US and hated being too far away to do anything.
As a family we stuck by him every time his depression took him down. This lasted years and it was the most worrying and draining time for us but things did start to change. Once my brother accepted help (a whole different battle) it came down to a very good doctor and mental health support. To this day he is still on Lithium but the dose is regularly monitored and now reduced.

I remember feeling helpless at the time and wanting desperately to be able to flick a switch in his head but in retrospect I believe that nothing was ever going to change until my brother took the first step and accepted the help on offer. Once he did and he was being cared for by his GP the changes in him were amazing. he has now taken control of his life and is working in a school teaching music production. All I can say is don't give up...with your help he will come good.

aye, sorry for the hijack that seems to have happened yunki
mebbes not fair to carry this on on this thread, i had to pull the other one as my lad saw it on my wifes laptop and had a paddy.

all ill say is social services were rubbish before, and not expecting anything great from them this time :-/
after 999 police visits time after time they finally agreed that home maybe wasnt the best place for him after all and he went into the local MHU. hes continued to take drugs, and is now in supported accommodation in 'scrotesville' with a lovely bunch of mates, salt of the earth as im sure you can imagine :-/
we've tried slowly bringing him back into the fold and just tried a weekend away with him which was a disaster and ended up with me taking him back after a load of swearing at us on the campsite.
then he kicked off when we brought up the subject of his abuse and how its not acceptable. after both me and my wife were threatened to have our 'f**kin throats slit while youre asleep' and other lovely flowery words, it ended in another 999 call. the neighbours must love us!!

even sadder tho is we found out that night that our 15yr old has been at it again with him, selling possessions again for drugs.

we grounded him cos we got nothing else we can do, just to keep him away from it all, but we couldnt physically stop him leaving the house. thats where we are now. wife will open another social services case tomorrow, we'll be fobbed off again, tell them we cant cope, get told "tough hes your responsibility" and it looks like another 2 years at least of pain and heartache again.

drugs are bad, kids, ok?

again, apologies for the hijack yunki, it just seemed to evolve. feel free to mail me if you like CG, and thanks for your support too bearnecessities (phil IIRC?). yes im staying strong still. it all makes me feel a bit 'emotionless' or flat i spose. both me and my wife have lost our sparkle these days but still love each other and are fighting it together. thanks

EDIT: thanks seavers, think we were typing at the same time. dont think we'll ever totally give up hope, but have to prioritise and look after ourselves first a bit more now, just accept theyre a pair of druggy scrotes and let em get on with it. sad but true. but we'll hang in there and hope for a better outcome in a few years time. theyre decent kids underneath all the sh*t, but then again, im sure the yorkshire rippers mum and dad spoke highly of him too
thanks

It's Rich, not sure I ever posted anything that could have really helped on original thread, so maybe someone else you're thinking of, but I do have exp of similar situations, so drop me a line any time, if even just for a natter. Rich