Monday, October 23, 2006

Some time in the night of October 22, 2006, C.R.A.P. aka Princess Bowzer aka Porter - amongst other names - was found dead in his cage. The probable cause of death suspected is wet tail.

C.R.A.P. was born in May of 2005 to a recently purchased hamster that was bought from the neighborhood pet store only days before. C.R.A.P. was a freaky looking hamster; with crazy long hair and beady eyes that bulged out of his head. Originally thought to be a she, C.R.A.P. was kept in the same cage as his slutty mother resulting in him impregnating her a short time later and having eight offspring with her. Besides pooping a whole lot and making a mess, C.R.A.P. was a known master escape artist - escaping at least four times - with his final attempt resulting in him being missing from his quarters for well over a month.

He is survived by his whore-mother, a sister (or is it a brother?) and maybe eight children (if they are not dead now...but who knows?). Family is unsure of funeral arrangements at this time. However, it may consist of a burial (being buried in a shoe box in the yard) or other unknown plans (one of those being that he is thrown away in the trash). The family would like donations to be made to the National Wet Tail Society.