Group of men attempt to drown a fish in aquarium filled with lead and noodle like substance

In a reportedly obvious incident in some remote part of the Country, a group of young men were seen ferociously trying to drown a fish in aquarium water.

To what is expected to be a clear case of “breathe-and-run”, sources who spoke to these young men involved in this incident reported that these men had been observing this “red belly Pacu [and not PIKU]” fish for quite some time. One of our correspondents reported a man citing the logic behind the entire mishap.

“Pacu was breathing in extra oxygen form the aquarium water that stunted the growth of other fishes in the aquarium. She would breath and run all the time. This is the reason, that thankless Fish outgrew her elders. No one ever has dared to do that in our land.”

Apparently, Pacu and not Piku, is one of the fastest growing aquarium fish.

A fish

When quizzed about how and when they planned to drown the fish, the plot unveiled. A youth spoke that they had recently bought baby Pacu for their aquarium and were happy with their inclusion. The elderly fishes in the aquarium were happy with the toddler in the family. All the fish in the aquarium would play around with the toddler.

But as was the malicious feat of fastest growing fish waiting, Pacu and not Piku, soon out grew the elders in the aquarium. This seemed to have not got down well with these youths. Debating this as case of breach of family tradition of no one outgrowing their elders ever, these men were filled with romanticism to keep a check on traditional transgression.

On the fateful night, inspired by their contemporary Mango farm owners who burnt a girl alive for stealing mangoes, these men painted their faces with Coal-gate powder and switched off the lights. They then used Micromax Canvas A1 quality torch light to spot the prey in the aquarium. Apparently, the fish was seen floating slowly by the sides on aquarium just before the assault triggered. One of the youth emptied the aquarium and leaving only Pacu in the tank. Elders were ported to a safe house meanwhile.

These young men then poured in the most lethal edible food item (voted on basis of outright protests across country), in the water and watched the fish drown under the weight of the heavy metal, Lead. Initial inspection reports by FSSAI officials of this noodle like murder weapon suggested that the youths might have used Maggi to increase the Lead content of the water.

Nonetheless, on tasting the Coal-gate powder on their faces that night, one of the youth diverted the attention of others saying, “Is coal-gate me namak nahi hai”. Irked by this issue, the men fled from the crime scene.

The multi IITian, mega multi IIM passout, Oxford, Michigan, Swiss, Harvard and Jupiter university certificate holder, Mr Law minister was also present on the crime scene. Expressing his concern over the lowering rate of crime standards in his peace city, he said, “Yoga must be made mandatory in all Universities of India. That’s the only cure!”

Nonetheless, seems Pacu and not Piku was an expert swimmer. Reports claim, she swam though the toxic lead and noodle like substance once the men had fled from the crime scene. She was seen breathing oxygen, added sources.