THE LIES WE TELL

“Who does a man love more? The woman he lies to or the woman he tells the truth to?”

An open ended debate. Do I care more because I tried to protect you? Do I care more because I gave you honesty, even if it hurt you?The irony is that my boyfriend shared this on his Facebook. Ironic because of an issue we had, that I will not be detailing.

I have a personal policy of telling the truth. This is in addition to the fact that there isn’t any lying in Buddhism, haha. Although, I have my own way of doing it. I choose a very thought out and tailored delivery. Ask me a direct question you’ll get a direct answer, but if I have any room to generalize my response, I’m probably going to take it. Control of information. I think about what I say and who I say it to.

I get it. If you care you’d be totally honest, 100% truth. I see the value of this. No secrets, nothing hidden, everything shared between 2 people. When things stay genuine and non-deceptive, it can lead to a complete understanding of each other. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone whose thoughts you didn’t know? Who’s conducting activities behind your back? Lying breeds distrust. Lying creates feelings of unease and doubt. All that negativity.

What if you lie because you care?

A lie can be used with the best of intentions. A lie can be created to protect feelings and relax thoughts. The idea of knowing someone so well that you’re willing to lie to them to spare them any bad feelings. A lie saying you’re fine that they couldn’t get you a gift on your birthday when it actually was disappointing. A lie about their cooking that they’re so proud of when you didn’t like it that much. A lie omitting or skewing an encounter with someone they don’t like you knowing.

Sometimes when we love someone the most is when we have a greater need to protect them.

..even from themselves if necessary.

Everyone says they don’t want to be lied to. No one wants to be on that receiving end, but be honest. There really isn’t any way to know. It’s only when you or they find out, is there an issue. That’s when the betrayal sets in. That’s when the veil of good intentions cloaking the deception falls down and all you see is the lie. That’s what sucks. It’s not being lied to, but knowing that you were lied to. Yes, I am saying that I would be happier not knowing. Though this is specific to instances where the unknown is not malicious to me. I choose ignorance when ignorance isn’t harmful. If I don’t need to be concerned, I’m good. I can go on not knowing. I’m chilling.

Blissful ignorance.

So why then is there the opposite? The types of people who NEED to know, but can’t handle it. The ones who are absolutely crushed or easily hurt or sensitive, but they refuse to have you hold anything back from them. My boyfriend is just like that and it baffles me. I’m the hardass so I have no problem dishing out anything, but he’s more on the “poofy” side. Why does it seem like these people just want to be upset all the time? I feel if you’re always going to want, even the coldest of truths, you should be able to take it.