If there’s one issue that’s come to light the last couple years in America, it’s the lack of proper attention given to mental health awareness. Give credit to events such as the Colorado movie theater shooting spree and Gabrielle Gifford’s near-assassination for making everyone heighten their understanding of mental illness. When left untreated, victims of bad mental health are capable of harming not only themselves but also those around them with little or no rational thought.

But depression and mental disease are tough issues to tackle. There aren’t swollen lymph nodes or abnormal red blood cell counts or any outward, diagnosable symptoms at all, for that matter. Victims normally look fine. And everyone goes through down times and rough patches in their lives. How do you distinguish between a temporary off phase and the more extreme depression while it’s actually happening in real-time, and not after the fact?

The whole thing hits me close to home. My old college roommate took his life earlier this year, seemingly out of the blue. But, upon some investigation the signs were all there. Unfortunately, none of us around him were fully aware or able to help in his time of need.

He was always the insecure type. Very sincere and genuine, but never brimming with self-confidence. Looking back, I think he felt like he was lacking something on the inside and that substances would help him compensate. Alcohol helped his fortitude. Weed helped him “think.” Adderall helped him study. They were his crutches, and towards the end of school, he ventured even deeper into drugs. That was when I firmly told him how I felt about the direction he was heading and then consciously made the decision to distance myself from him.

We hung out a few times after that, but graduation was the last time I saw him even though he moved home last fall, less than an hour away from me. I heard stories. He was weaning himself off coke. He had a mental breakdown. He was better. He was Schizophrenic. He had another fall. He was fighting depression. Lord knows what was true and what wasn’t.

I got caught up in my life, and the closest we got to meeting up again was through a mutual friend but nothing ever panned out. Unbeknownst to me, he deactivated his Facebook account and stopped returning calls in December, even to his closest confidants, shutting himself out from the rest of the world completely.

In February, I got the call informing me that his internal demons were too much for him to bear and he had committed suicide. On the verge entering the prime of his life, he left behind family, friends, and loved ones in a death that possibly could’ve been prevented had the symptoms been properly identified and dealt with.

In light of all this, J. Cole deserves a standing ovation for speaking out on mental health, and dealing with the pressures of his profession. A part of a culture that glorifies invincibility and frowns on weakness, it’s refreshing to hear him address depression awareness and its treatment.

At the end of the day, even celebrities are still real people who face an exponential amount of stress relative to the average Joe. To put it like he did, “Pressure is pressure.” It happens to everyone. But it’s how people respond to the adversity that separates one from the other. The pre-championship LeBron James comparison is spot on, and the fact that Jermaine has the ability and fortune of being able to channel his darker emotions into art is admirable. Some people are unable to do so. Cole’s blessed to possess a strong, determined mind that doesn’t allow him to fall into the trap of negativity. But, there are those who can’t pull through on their own.

And for their sake, it’s important for the rest of us to stay knowledgeable about mental disease, vigilant to identify its symptoms, and willing to help those suffering, instead of reminiscing about their lives when it’s too late.

Mental Health is looked down on with such condescension that it’s sad. It all comes down to “I don’t understand it so I immediately become against it” People just don’t take the time to learn about it and I can’t really blame them for that (just thinking of the DSM IV gives me a headache) but the continuing ignorance to it gotta change, especially among black people. Peace to people like Cole and Royce White, who aren’t afraid of what niggas gotta say.

man when i read that line about how culture frowns on the weak the first two artists i thought of were eminem and dmx. both admitted their issues, one got better (least from all indications) and the other is still fighting. point here is that neither of those dudes are weak. people need to wake up as a culture and see that it’s not weakness but rather strength when a person seeks help and advice. its weak to hide it all inside, its strong to let it all out and learn from it.

One of my favorite Hip Hop quotables ever. Almost had it tatted on me my freshman year of College (Hit a rough patch, got overwhelmed and was in a dark place mentally). Great write up and condolences to your former roommate and his family/friends.

“He was always the insecure type. Very sincere and genuine, but never brimming with self-confidence. Looking back, I think he felt like he was lacking something on the inside…”

This hits too close to home. As a child who had to get use to feeling alone, misunderstood and being treated like an outcast, it messed me up and I didn’t realize it until I was in college. I would like to say I went through bit of a depression from age 14-22. I had so many grudges and scars haunting me. In fact I still do which is why I can relate so much to Scarface.

But it wasn’t until 2008 that I met a group of friends in college that understood the person that I was that got me out of this funk. I am so grateful for them and thank God that I never had suicidal thoughts or even used drugs as a vice.

Great piece!!! The part I don’t understand about being Depressed is what is it exactly? For example I’m going thru a lil rough spot right now & I’m not happy but I as a laymen I have NO idea if, when, or how this could be Depression or even how to spot it in a close friend or family member.

They’re physical symptoms that come with depression. Not only that but that feeling you’re having? It’s occurring all the time with a person with depression. It’s been a while since I took psychology, but for symptoms it varies. Some people get physically fatigued while others just don’t want to do anything. Sources like webmd helps a lot.

Definitely not. Depression is a cycle.
And it’s something where, if you don’t recognize it in yourself and have a reliable technique for dealing, you can easily start feeling like things will never improve.

The best definition I can think of is it is deep, deep hopelessness. It’s actually pretty scary. It may be difficult to find out, but check your family history since it can be genetic.

Most people go through bouts of depression at one point or another, but chronic depression is a serious issue. In the average person, bouts of depression are often triggered by an event or series of events, but eventually they come out of it. In people with chronic depression, there is often not even a trigger and they do not come out of it in a natural way.

I don’t know about black folk in America (but imagine it would be similar) but here in New Zealand & with Polynesian culture as a male, you are considered weak if you can’t “get over shit” & talking about your demons is apparently a female trait so it’s caused a trend for many youngin’s to take their life due to all this shit that builds up because they failed to be the strong tough male who can handle anything.

No psychologist but you gotta talk to someone if your problems start cutting you up cause silence is the cousin of death & when you can’t hear & feel the music no more…the devil is one step closer.

A big sign is when something you used to enjoy doesn’t become enjoyable no more but to all out there who’s in a inner struggle and feeling negative more than positive..Get off social media (you will start comparing your happiness to everyone) write a jam, a poem or speak…you gotta speak.

This definitely seems to be a common theme with men of all cultures, but I think much more so those of us who aren’t as…shall I say…fair skinned.

Man up is the motto, but various cultures here were so emasculated and damaged by the conquering “majority”, I’m not sure how many of us even know what it means to be a man.

Certainly, stoicism and “toughness” are highly valued… And it gets difficult to know where the line is between “sack up” and “talk it out”. I just know there is a lot of pressure on “our” communities just from the way these societies are set up now and how they came about. A lot of baggage if you’re brown.

But you’re absolutely right. One MUST have an outlet.

My anecdote, and I’ll keep it short, cause yall know how I can run on, is like this:

Aaron bro you hit the nail on the head with that one part. Just look at how young Minorities particularly African American & Latino don’t smile when they take pictures. That’s a prime symptom, even when it’s a joyous event.

In April one of my best friends, that I’ve known for around 15 years, took his life. He had battled depression, anxiety and drugs. As he got older the drugs got stronger and more severe, as if they were enabling him to be alive because he couldn’t fight his own inner demons alone and didn’t wish to confront them. People started to back away from him slowly because he got kicked out of his house, was stealing stuff from friends/family/stores to scheme up enough cash to score, and it was nearly impossible to contact him because he sold his phone and laptop for a log. The last time I talked to him he hadn’t done anything for around 2 weeks, not by choice but due to not having any money, and reality started to fall down hard on him and he called me to meet up. I was hesitant because I didn’t know if he would have a sly scheme set up to con me for money, if I was going somewhere to get jumped for my phone and wallet, or if he was honestly trying to become a human again. We talked for around 2 hours and things boiled down to him needing to get professional help and bounce back and finish school, restore what he had lost and try to repair some bridges that were still somewhat there. It was the first time I saw him smile in a long time and he was going to go home to get things set up in motion to go to rehab. I believe the brief stint of being clean made him see all the wrong he did to so many that he loved and put him in a corner of emotional insecurity that crushed him and the only freedom he saw was taking his own life or relapsing, he chose the former. The direction I was trying to go with this was that a lot of people around my age, 24, that I know are having problems with mental health are seeking out drugs to fight them and it is depressing. Sorry this is too long.

Case in point, only Pacific Islanders (mostly Samoans) get away with a clean pass from me for saying “nigga”. Mostly cause they trend toward “very large” or “big as shit” LOL.
But yeah some of my best friends are Islanders and we get along very well. Plus the food is amazing.
You ever find yourself in LA in need of a place to stay, hit a brother up.

@Aaron I’m a white dude from Australia, it seems to me in our society, which i’m limiting to Melbourne, Australia, that it’s generally a subject not much discussed regardless of race. I think those who come from affluent backgrounds tend to have better outlets or mechanisms for dealing with an issue, that affects a lot more people then you would notice at first glance.
Having a father who is from old school working class, the men of that generation are very quick to dismiss someone as weak if they are struggling with mental issues or disorders of any effect, so it becomes ingrained to keep it all internalised. That sort of mentality leads to a lot of youth suicide in our city, children not sure who to turn to for help. Sorry for the length of rant, couldn’t stop typing once i started

Having a father who is from old school working class, the men of that generation are very quick to dismiss someone as weak
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Agreed. I think it’s far from a race issue. Coming from a similar background, my dad was/is a blue-collar worker. I could never discuss said issues with him. My white collar, affluent friends, definitely had more of an outlet.

raj, sorry to hear about your friend, life gets the best of so many good people. great article you wrote here, really sheds light on a topic that needs as much exposure as possible. keep up the good work.

ive said this too….to be honest a shit load of the problems we have and encounter in the hood, really stem down to depression and hopelessness, most of these chicks have cluster b personality disorders, but ppl think if you show concern or get help for mental health, you just crazy af smh.

Catching up on my TSS reads so I’m a bit slow on this but great piece Raj and really timely – one of my best mates is dealing with her 14 yr old son who tried to commit suicide last week so Ima send her this post to read too. And yup NZ suicide stats especially with Polynesian males are really high – one of my cousins ended his life when we were teenagers & he was only 16 :(