Couple relearn the basics, but they never forgot love

April 10, 2013

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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John Allen and Linda Alexander have a laugh while working with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and the pair work daily to exercise her brain. PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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John Allen and Linda Alexander work with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and the pair work daily to exercise her brain. PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

1 of 5

John Allen and Linda Alexander have a laugh while working with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and the pair work daily to exercise her brain. PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

1 of 5

John Allen and Linda Alexander work with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and the pair work daily to exercise her brain. PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

1 of 5

John Allen listens to Linda Alexander as the pair work with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and they work daily to exercise her brain. PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

John Allen and Linda Alexander have a laugh while working with alphabet flash cards at Starbucks in Orange. Alexander suffered bleeding in her brain five years ago and the pair work daily to exercise her brain.PAUL BERSEBACH, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

A bolt of blinding pain knocked Linda Alexander to the ground five years ago. When she awoke a few days later she could say only three words:

I love you.

She was weak on her right side and had a bump on her head where surgeons had installed a life-saving shunt. And as she cheerfully greeted doctors, nurses and friends with the same “I love you,” it became obvious that she had lost part of her memory.

Her closest friend – the man to whom those three words most applied – soon realized that meant she could no longer read. John Allen is a former teacher, and so he did the best thing he could think of to help. He bought a box of flash cards, designed for children age 4 and up, and set about teaching Alexander how to read again.

Allen is 82. Alexander is 70. Not long ago, someone snapped a picture of them sitting side by side over cups of coffee and their well-worn box of flash cards. Click, and they were famous – Internet icons of determination, devotion and love; patience and kindness.

They met through a mutual friend 11 years ago: Allen, a small-town preacher turned teacher, soft in voice and manner; and Alexander, a corporate manager with a Texas accent and a big personality to match. They've been together ever since.

They talked about getting married, but never seriously. “We were looking for companionship,” Allen says now. “And that's exactly what we found.”

He dropped her off late on a December evening five years ago. She doesn't remember what happened next, but her parents found her screaming in pain on the living room floor. She later told doctors that it was the most excruciating headache of her life.

A blood vessel had ruptured and was bleeding into the area around her brain. Doctors operated three days in a row. When she woke up, she was partially paralyzed on her right side, had no short-term memory and knew only those three words: “I love you.”

In time, and with work, she regained her ability to talk. But she still tells just about everyone she meets that she loves them. “One thing that happened to me is, I love people,” she explains. “Before, I was too busy. I worked all the time. … Everybody that I meet, I love.”

She can sign her name now, but she can't read it. She doesn't know the words when Allen plays contemporary Christian songs on the radio, but she doesn't miss a beat when he puts on old hymns. They sing together sometimes:

“Those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never end …”

“But they did!” Allen says, and then he laughs a laugh that pinches the corners of his eyes. “Ahh-ha-ha-ha.” Alexander laughs, too. “Hee-hee-hee.” She has not lost one bit of her sense of humor.

“I don't know that we've ever had any angry words,” Allen says at one point.

“Yes, we did,” she tells him. “One time.”

“When was that?”

“Well, I don't remember.”

Ahh-ha-ha-ha. Hee-hee-hee.

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Allen drove to a favorite teacher-supply store during one of the long days of Alexander's recovery. He bought her a map of the world, puzzles – and a box of flash cards with big letters and cartoon drawings. A is for Apple. B is for Bee.

Reading had always been a big part of his life. He woke at 5 every morning so that he could read for more than an hour. Then he'd get ready, drive the few miles from his house in Anaheim to Alexander's in Orange, and wake her with a “Good morning, sunshine.”

And then, some mornings, they would find an empty table at their favorite coffee shop and work their way through every letter of the alphabet. Allen would slide the cards off the deck: “What's this? Third letter?”

“B… Oh, C! C!”

“What's this animal right here?”

“Kitty cat!” and Alexander would slam her hand on the table: “I got it! I got it!”

She prayed that she would read again. She listened to books on tape instead, and wanted to one day follow along with her favorite, a story about a little boy visiting heaven.

Allen teased her that she never really read all that much when she could. “Well, honey,” she would tell him, “I was having fun with you.”

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Matthew Ballestero was sitting with some friends in a coffee shop in Orange earlier this year when he noticed an older couple sitting together, going over flash cards. He snapped a quick cellphone picture, talked to them for a few minutes – and, later that night, posted the picture and a few words on his Facebook page.

It went viral. More than 2 million people liked the photo, shared it, tweeted it or blogged about it. Soon, the television networks were calling. The daytime talk show “The Drs.” recently named Allen and Alexander its couple of the year.

But the picture also captured an unfortunate truth. It's been more than three years since Allen and Alexander started going through their flash cards, and they still have to start every day at A. It's hard to tell whether Alexander is any closer to reading about that boy in heaven than she was when they started.

Allen recently went back to the teacher-supply store, worried that the flash cards weren't working. He bought Alexander a kindergarten reading workbook.

He finds hope in the words of a doctor and the words of the Bible. The doctor said it could take years for Alexander to regain all her abilities. The Bible says to care for those in need. Allen sees that as his calling. Even if he knew Alexander would never read again, he says, he'd still keep trying.

“You hate to give up,” he said. “You know? You just hate to give up. I feel like I have to keep a positive attitude, with the hope that she might remember more.”

He slides the final card off the deck and lays it down. “What's a famous word that starts with Z?”

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