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Today’s Reason To Drink

I found myself in a conversation with a nice enough woman, but I couldn’t recall the details of her profile. Normally I read a person’s profile before swiping right to make sure she can string together a sentence using correct contractions and all that important stuff.

But I didn’t remember anything about her and figured I must have snuck in a quick Tinder session last Saturday night before blissfully nodding off (aka passing out).

So after a long response to her question of if I’ve had any success on this dating app — the answer is no — I decided to find out more about her.

Turns out she and her boyfriend want a fun woman to play with. Well, I do consider myself somewhat fun, but not in the way she was intending, I suppose. Yikes!

I’m flattered by the invitation, but threesomes sound like a lot of work for little reward. And I don’t like to share. And for as many dick jokes that come out of my mouth, you might be surprised to learn I don’t want them near me. My doctor told me my Vitamin D level is just fine.

So, lesson learned, do not drink and Tinder, my friends. Or this might happen to you, too. (Chances are, though, if you’re my friends, you just might be up for something like this.)