Pretty sure my FitBit is trying to kill me

I tend to be fairly obsessive when I set my mind to accomplishing something. As of late, I’ve been fixated on the pursuit of healthier living. As an encouragement, Alex bought me a Fitbit, which I’d decided I could not live without after briefly reading something about someone with miraculous, life-changing results. Nothing motivates me more than a shiny new toy to wear around my wrist like a bald eagle’s tracking cuff.

I synced it up before bed so I could take advantage of it’s sleep tracking and vibrating alarm clock features. My sister-in-law summed it up perfectly:“It vibrates? that’s worth every penny.”

By mid-day the Fitbit had successfully told me several things I already knew about myself:

1. I have the most horrid of sleep patterns— I can spend 6 hours in bed but only sleep for 3 ½ of those, waking at least 7 times throughout the night.

2. I only take about 27 steps between 8AM and 5PM.

Regardless, the Fitbit was already working it’s motivational magic by yesterday– I’d gone to the gym and consumed all manner of high fiber foods throughout the day. I was super proud of myself, but there was one little problem: None of it made any sense.

The meltdown came at 6PM when I sat down to examine all its graphs and gauges. For someone who is not so great with the maths, a visual is usually perfect. This time, not so much.

Look, I’ve been very active for 3 minutes!

“But why does it want me to eat 800 more calories? It wants me to gain weight.”

Alex looked over my shoulder.

“Well you still have to eat dinner, that’ll even it out.”

I’d already plugged in all my food for the entire day, but Alex was unconvinced, remaining faithful to the Fitbit. I read aloud the caloric information for every morsel of food I’d put in my mouth. He added them on his phone’s calculator.

“Okay, you’ve had 1400 calories,” he said.

“But it wants me to eat 800 more!”

I began adding random food, living out a binging fantasy to wrack the numbers up. The screen refreshed.

“You have gone over your calorie goals for the day and must exercise more.”

“Oh my God, what is happening!”

An hour had passed and we were no closer to understanding any of it.

“Can’t you just ask your facebook friends how it works?”

“No,” I said, “I can’t let people know how stupid I am.”

I clicked the ‘HELP’ icon at the top of the screen and skimmed through a few articles. It appeared my goals weren’t set aggressively enough. All I had to do was go to “Calories In and Out” then click “Goals” and set it to “Aggressive.”

This would have been helpful if I knew where to find “Calories In and Out.”

“I could’ve sworn I saw it a second ago.”

“Click that other tab.”

“…You know nothing, Alex.”

My relationship with the Fitbit and with Alex was on the rocks. I clicked back to ‘HELP’ and read another article which told me to click a “gear” icon in the top right of the screen. I could actually find this but when I clicked it there was no “Goal” option.

I fell on the ground, moaning and secretly hoping I was burning extra calories.

Abandoning the useless ‘HELP’ section, Alex blindly googled our problem and found a forum with simple instructions. All we had to do was go to “Calories” and click on the “Little Grey Arrow” at the Bottom Left and then Scroll Down past “Summary” and Hit “Modify” and then “Expand” and then Find the “gear” icon and hit “Edit.”

I spent ten minutes clicking back and forth between those two screens, walking myself through the process. Meanwhile my oven’s timer was beeping in the kitchen, alerting me that my uber healthy dinner was ready.

“Wait,” I said, “Why does it say I can eat 900 calories now? Why did it change? I’ve done nothing.”

I could smell my dinner burning. I ran to rescue it, my stomach growling for its promised calories. But I was too late– the boneless skinless strips of chicken breast were shriveled into jerky.

Everything is lost.

I carried their charred remnants into the living room, where Alex was still bent over the laptop.

“I’ve figured it out,” he said. “All you need to do is eat THIS MANY calories minus THOSE calories and then exercise for two hours every day.”

Now I was supposed to eat only 892 calories a day and spend all my free-time burning 1200? The Fitbit was clearly advocating the development of an eating disorder. I leaned back in defeat, munching on my chicken-strip-beef-jerky.

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Comments

Bahahahahahahahaha
I totally get it. The numbers ARE very confusing. To be honest, all I really use it for is to track activity (minutes, steps, miles) and calories burned. I do the calories consumed thing in my head – otherwise my head would explode with the constant updates on how much more or less I should eat depending on the time of day.

p.s. the other thing that annoys the shit out of me about the Fitbit is that it doesn’t recognize the GODDAMNED EFFORT it takes to workout on the stairmaster. Because you’re not swinging arms and walking forward, it does a shit job at tracking calories burned, total steps and mileage. You can manually enter the activity on your phone (or laptop) – but even when you add in “climbing steps” or whatever, and manually input the total time and total calories you burned (from the stairmaster display), it still short changes you on the mileage and steps. Fucker.

Yeah, I’m thinking I will mostly just use it to push me to get out and move more. I’m a major sucker for anything that can be tracked on a graph… I like to SEE numbers so that they’re “real.”

And yeah! I was super curious about whether it would measure the stairmaster, but no. I’m on that sonofabitch for 30 minutes most days… but it still said I’d only had like 9 “active” minutes by the end of the day hahaha

Regardless– I’m really liking it. Meltdown and all. I use my iPhone to log stuff in and I like seeing it all balanced out.

I think it might be mine as well! It’s incredible! So much less traumatizing than my usual alarm which is that Usher song “Love in This Club,” which I chose for some unknown reason in some absurd moment.

Yeah, my first thought is that it was time related, lol. Well just think, it could be worse, you could live in Westeros, because not only would everything be trying to kill you, everyone would be too, lol.

That fickle biatch, time. And I’m usually incredibly good at anything related to time– it’s my ONE maths strength! Speaking of math……………….. I think I saw a tweet between Jaklumen and Samara about a math post you wrote? Why do you do this to me? I guess I shall come check it out… *gulps*

Yep you’re being tweeted, my friend! I’ll have to come check the post out… I can’t say I “hate” the maths because I have a strange sort of awe for people like yourself… but it’s kind of like looking at beautiful photos of faraway planets and knowing that astronauts are lucky for getting to explore out there but I’m good with staying home, in my bed, with my dog.

I did actually buy a scale last month. It promised to keep track of pounds lost/gained. All I have to do is wait for the poundage to come up, then a ‘1’ will come up on the display. If I simply tap on the right side of the scale, my current weight will be stored auto-magically, followed by an up or down arrow and the amount of weight lost/gained since last weigh-in. Simple.

And it was the first half dozen or so times I used it. Now, no matter how many times I ‘lightly tap’ or ‘stomp in frustration’ it won’t save my weight OR display anything else. Maybe the battery is going?

I had two weights this morning – deducing that I could not possibly have lost nine pounds just by sleeping, I let the scale zero out and stepped on it again. Yeah. Down by .2 pounds, so YAY, but how depressing.

Hahahaha oh my gosh this sounds like something that would happen to me. Gadgets like that NEVER keep working, I swear. And I try not to weight myself too often… my weight fluctuates by like 9 pounds in a week, not even kidding. Well, you can’t actually trust that because of my math issues but it seems like 9 pounds….

I am that bad at math girl. Welcome to the club! LOL I used to obsess about health and fitness till I got depressed about it. Now I do what I can and threw out the scale and feel much better mentally and physically. You can’t let it get you down or it will drive you crazy like it did me. Moderation is the key in all things……..

Yes, see! We ARE related. And it’s so not worth obsessing over. If my SIL were to read this post, she would murder me. She’s an Eating Disorder Dietician and is all about NOT obsessing. She says “just eat, then let it go.” To be fair, she coined that BEFORE Frozen came out, ha ha.

I definitely believe in moderation… though red wine is my downfall there.

Uh, yeah. You’ll likely be somewhere between 1600-2200 depending on how much you work out. I’m supposed to be at like 2600, but I’m lame and usually hit around 1800. At 800, it is trying to kill you. And yes, my man boobs are back and it’s time to hit the gym and stop going to McDonalds. I used to be all (almost) slim and (just about) sexy, but then I started eating emotionally. Bad mojo. Hope it works how you want it to! Try out Insanity. That’s how I lost my weight.

Oh I know all about emotional eating! If anyone ever wonders why I don’t post many photos from the travel days it’s because I was depressed back then– and with it were the extra pounds. Not McDonalds, but…. many other things that wanted to kill me.

I did Insanity.
Twice.
Each time for about six days………………………
As soon as they gave you the “rest” day, I tasted that freedom and never went back. I totally believe in it though… there is no word to describe it other than “insane” but I can see how it works, that’s for sure. It also goes on the list of things trying to kill me.

It was sooo bad. I wish I had the writerly skills to properly describe the facial expressions we were exchanging. He was blank and confused and I was just enraged. Every 2 minutes we would think we’d “figured it out” and then I would realize we hadn’t and have to fall on the floor again.

I like that you’re bad at math in spite of your job– that’s kind of like how I didn’t know how to use Excel before I had this job and that’s a pretty big part of it. Fake it ’till you make it……..

Yeah, I’m not sure it would be the wisest choice if you’re apt to focus in on making sure it all balances out and stays within certain limits… it’s kind of like a vehicle to becoming MORE obsessed, which many of us don’t need help with, haha.

I’m not buying one of those things ever. I’m just as bad at math as you. It would be deadly to my health. Everything may be trying to kill you, but everything kicks my ass. I need no more of that, thank you very much. Stay away from cancer chicken.

This is HILARIOUS. And aussome for the middle of my work day where I’m languishing and hating myself for the hike I did not go on this morning (after going to bed EARLY so that I WOULD go on it). You are not alone, sistah! SOLIDARITY.
Also… that bracelet looks like the coolest thing EVER and I WANT ONE. They even have lots of colors!!! let me guess – you got the teal one? 😀

I told The Boyfran where you live and he got all stoked and was like “let’s stalk her out and see if she can help us network when we move there” so be on the lookout for a pod full of books and a shivering redhead in your future!

OMG PLEASE DO THAT AND MAKE MY LIFE!!!!!!! you have no idea… I would be so stupidly excited…
and ps. I’m just gaining ground networking and have some great friends who are awesome with networking, so, I’ll just link you up with them 😀 this could totally be a thing 😀

I’ve toyed with getting one of these, but deep inside–okay, maybe not so deep–I know I don’t really need one. Common sense can guide me just as well (I don’t need a FitBit to tell me that little cup of M&Ms I ate was calories I didn’t need), plus, I just feel my nose is already buried in enough electronic stuff. But if I had any debate left in me about buying one, you’ve just persuaded me not to. But I enjoyed reading about your experience! (It’s always fun when it’s someone else, right?…) 😉

Oh technology, I love the way you try and make things simple but just confuse the shit out of everyone around you. I try and be healthy but red wine is my down-fall. That and the epic amount of KFC aka Kentucky Fried Regrets I ate the other night.

YES red wine. Oh my gosh.
The Boyfran and I made a pact to not drink for the month of May… just to kickstart this glorious new life of healthy wonderment. We’ve managed to at least keep it to one drink per weekend, hahahaha. But shoot… I miss the red wine. And there’s no way I can have only one glass.

Bad at math. Bad at gadgets. Bad at gadgets that do math so you don’t have to do math. Me, too, Aussa, across the board. Confounding food and exercise arbiter! Besides, the WristWizard couldn’t possibly take into account all the calories that brain of yours burns off when the third half is thinking about blog posts like this! The chicken jerky strips, did the dog eat them or turn up a nose?

This is perfect: Bad at gadgets that do math so you don’t have to do math. It sums it all up.

And she loved the cancer strips! She will eat anything, she’s a complete weirdo. I give her my sweet potato skins and she’s even been known to eat raw zuchinni that falls off the cutting board. She is the dog version of a goat. Which is apt.

Math and I do not get along. By any means. There’s a reason I have a calculator sitting on a shelf within arms reach at my desk and why the calculator app on iPod and my phone are good friends of mine.

I’m not a nut about health and fitness, but I’m looking at trying to see if there’s a pedometer that’ll actually work JUST for counting steps. I don’t need to know all that fancy schmancy stuff. Only problem is my pedometer likes to die. All. The. Time. So I never know honestly how many steps I’ve done. I like how the fitbit looks, but I’m really leery on it.

I love that meme of the teacher talking about how school children have to learn math because they won’t be carrying a calculator around all the time– then it crops to the iPhone. HAHA! Perfect. I swear I’ve tried to understand math, but it looks like this:

Big Number + Medium Number / Decimaled Number = TEARS

I think that you could use the fitbit solely as a pedometer and not even bother with the rest of it. If you’re not trying to input the caloric info then the rest is just sort of a wash anyways. It’s cool because it’s a constant reminder on your arm (and it’s feckin’ sexy of course) and when you hit your goal it vibrates ceremoniously. I also like that I sleep with it, so it’s one less thing I have to think about putting on my body when I get ready.

Therein lies my other problem. My wrists are already covered in pretty things. I’m not sure how I’d feel about the vibrating… For the longest time vibrating game controllers drove me insane. I hated them. With a passion I hated the things. I might take another look at the FitBit.

LOL cancer chicken. I have a fitbit too – it actually motivates me quite a bit. The only time I get pissed off at it is during weight training, because it has no idea. The goal is 10,000 steps a day, which I can’t even accomplish doing 3,000 steps at work and doing over 3 miles on the elliptical machine. So, if I do what I’m supposed to do, which is weight train (cuz muscle burns fat ya know) and a smaller amount of cardio, I’m only walking 6,000-some steps a day and that’s “not good enough”. Hey, at least it doesn’t treat you like the Wii Fit does: (in a child’s voice) “That’s obese!”

Nooo…. does the Wii Fit really call you obese?! What the heck! No. That would be a meltdown of a whole different type.

And yeah– I don’t like how it didn’t track my stairmaster steps… but I figure I can still aim to do the walking steps in addition to the cardio I do at the gym. At any rate it may make me a better dog owner and help Zola burn off the cancer calories I fed her last night…

Oh yeah — the Wii Fit loves to make you feel like shit. It gets all sarcastic: “Is that…..Kristina? Oh, it’s JANA — I forgot who you were because I haven’t seen you in SO LONG!” It also makes cracks at your parenting, asking “How is Jonathon doing these days?” I pick the “about the same” option and it responds, “Well, maybe you should be paying closer attention!” Plus, my mini mii just keeps looking as fat as ever, even when I get down to just “overweight” instead of “obese” — thanks for the self-esteem boost Wii.

I still maintain that people are not necessarily BAD at math– it’s just a lot of math education in the schools is BAD. I think there are ways that everyone can learn to deal with math on a functional, everyday level– it’s just learning algorithms (methods of calculation) other than the crap they taught you in school.

There was this very brief moment where I thought “oh! I am an adult now, with choices! I should go back and learn maths!” But then I blinked or the wind blew or something and I was snapped out of that horrifying thought.

You’re probably right about education, but…. is it possible that some brains just can’t grasp certain concepts very well? (I’m gunning for a justification here) Because I feel like my inability to navigate is somehow tied in with this maths thing… like it’s all one big part of my brain that died when I was 7 months old or something.

I will agree that we all have different aptitudes and we have an easier time with some concepts than others. But I don’t think that fully justifies or explains the anxiety people in the U.S. have with math. As an education student, I saw big gaps in how math was taught, particularly to those people that didn’t immediately grasp such concepts.

I believe it’s more of a right brain/left brain thing. Left brain is more numbers and critical thinking; right brain is creativity and intuition, which would lend itself to writing. People are often just genetically dominant in one side or the other.

And yeah the schools are SHIT, Jak, when it comes to teaching math. That doesn’t help very much.

I’m so confused. I’d be classified as right brain as I generally did better in creativity and intuition but get me talking about computers and such and I see eyes glaze over. (INFP by way of Meyers-Briggs personality sort, btw)

HA 🙂 Love this. I recently got one too and definitely have not figured everything out. I mostly want it for activity tracking. Plus, these old ladies I watch on YouTube are in competition with one another and post their weekly activity to kick each other’s butt. Pretty motivating. I just talked two friends into getting one so they will hopefully motivate me to get my ass off the couch.

Furthermore, as soon as I downloaded the app, I immediately got rid of the tracking for everything except steps, miles, active mins, and water (which I don’t even track that…oops). Seeing your weight just glaring at you from your phone every hour is just damn depressing. Am I right?

Also, I’m pretty sure it calculated my “very active” minutes one day as the time I was sprinting to find a bathroom in the mall. Surely that shouldn’t count? Hey, I’ll take it.

Ooo… who are the youtube ladies? I’ll have to check that out. You are officially the person on the interwebs whose advice I accept the most!

And I’m definitely going to be only taking advantage of certain features… so far– despite the meltdown– I’m really enjoying it! And the active minutes really crack me up– I figure mine are for when I’m rushing to my car to get to work and then when I’m rushing back out the building to get the hell out of there.

The ladies I’m talking about post their FitBit summaries on Instagram – uppiesbeads59 and makeupmlc. I watch their anti-aging videos on YouTube because I’m 25 and worried that it’s all going down from here, haha! And OMG what a compliment… Aussa, you’re making me blush 🙂

HA for your active minutes! I love that you’re sprinting to and from work… Mine would probably come solely from leaving the office at the end of the day. Keep us updated – this post was hilarious!

Awesome! I shall stalk them both! And I feel you on the anti-aging thing……. I need to start cultivating my acceptance of that (at the old age of 28) and transfer that worry over to a kick-ass defiance of anyone who tells me I’m not pretty if I don’t have wrinkles. But still…… I wear sunblock every single day hahaha

I cycle. A lot. I think you may know this. But what I’m about to say may give you a little perspective.

I just did a ride. 190 miles. To do this I prepared. Obviously. I bought a bike computer. OK to be honest I up graded my computer. Which has taught me the following. My maximum heart rate should be 175 BPM for my age. Its actually 189bpm. Sometimes the computer tells me its 234bpm. My doctor friends tell me thats very bad. I burn 3500 calories for every 100 miles I ride. I eat 2500 calories. My doctor friends tell about muscle hypertrophy and how… that’s not good. To cycle those 190 miles I cycled 4850 miles in preparation. My legs go round at an average cadence of 89 revs min. My doctor friends talk about joint degeneration.

Ooo yes I hope I always love In-N-Out Burger! And yes, I know you are right… for the most part I only obsess over it in very brief 12 hour stints about every year and a half but I could probably benefit from letting it all go… Time to listen to that song again.

I become psychotic with calorie counters. I also am a bit mental about the gym and I tend to sneakily arrange my entire life around its class schedule. I don’t get to be bad at math though because 80% of my job is statistical analysis.

I’m too awkward and afraid of people to take any of the classes. The only way I’d be able to handle that was if someone took a sneaky video of every possible workout routine and I was able to master it in the solitude of my bedroom and then walk in looking like a natural.

Lol! I almost exclusively do classes. I need someone to tell me what to do or I’m liable to wander off as soon as I get tired. It helps when you realise that at least 3/4 of the class looks like a dick.

Bad at math is an understatement. I actually used a calculator to confirm that 5×100= 500, so yeah, Aussa, I’m pathetic with math. Time change, fuck you. Airline tickets with time change, I’ll stay home. lol Yeah, I’m bad at math 😉

Haha! Perfect. Oh my gosh, the time change! When I was in China… I couldn’t even handle trying to think about what was happening on the clocks in America. No way, no how! And flying with a time change is hilarious. I just look at the duration and set a timer because no matter how many times I try to sort it out I end up saying something like “we have 4 hours left. Or 1. Or wait maybe it’s 5?”

I’ve lost 21 pounds in 7 weeks doing the paleolithic diet, meaning I only eat veggies and meat and no carbs. It kind of sucks considering I used to bake my own bread all the time, but once I got used to the no carbs, I actually forget to eat. Seriously. I went two days without eating because I honestly forgot. And I’m a person who fights with people so I can eat an extra six meals a day. I’m a fatty. But no carbs made me forget to eat. And I could still drink wine!

I have something similar to the fit bit, but it’s the weight watchers equivelent and I think it’s far easier to understand. Hang in there Aussa! You’ll have an ass that you can bounce quarters off in no time!

Girl you can’t forget to eat that’s not good for you! That’s nuts that you didn’t feel hungry… I can’t imagine not feeling hungry throughout the day 😉 I like to eat small meals/snacks all day long simply because food sometimes feels like a chore. I don’t like feeling hungry and I don’t like feeling full… I like to just feed myself incrementally so that I’m always level. Don’t tell my SIL that I said that, I feel like she might diagnose me from that statement.

One of my coworker’s favorite thing to quote is the time I was sitting in her office and announced “I’ve decided to be healthier………. but I’m not eating less or going to the gym this time.” I’m not sure it worked out but I have a feeling you’re on a better track than that.

The Fitbit sounds almost as unhelpful as the Ab-Tronic I bought from TV many years ago! I confirmed that yes, you could drink champagne and eat cake while wearing it, but woe to you if you reclined (which why wouldn’t you??) Let’s just say it was (literally) a nasty shock that was not mentioned in the manual. AND there was zero improvement to the ab region….

Well, champagne is mostly air, as we all know. You should keep that in mind… And yes, it zapped me. It might have been the lying down, it might have been too little jelly. Or, it might have been a good reminder to stop buying crap from TV. Either way, I learned all these lessons for just 39.99!! : )

My dog eats every little thing she happens to find on the ground (she actually tried to eat a dead rat that was on the sidewalk yesterday morning), so cancer chicken ain’t all that bad compared to rotting, plague-infested rodents.

I would have fed my dog the cancer chicken too, because who can resist that look they give you?

Reading and following directions, yes. This is why all things must be made from raw materials and not thought through beforehand. Directions are the worst. I remember doing little kid homework that had step by step directions and by the end I would be a gluey mess. Hard Pass on that!

I know! Statistically, I think that’s what happens to everyone. I simply can’t do any sort of restrictive diet because the second I tell myself I can’t do or have something, that is ALL I want for the rest of my life. No bueno! And I think I’ll enjoy it for the steps tracking and the active minutes and especially the sleep stuff. I love data! When it doesn’t involve maths..

I wish they would make a sitcom about the psych hospital where I work. I can’t imagine… it would be incredible! And I’m not sure the last time I watched a sitcom. Wait, if The Office counts then I watch a sitcom every time I do laundry 🙂

Hi Aussa, as you know I work in the worlds worst “Health” fraud store, I made the mistake of asking about my predecessor, one Monday morning an old geezer came in with a zip-lock bag of his own shit, and asked this poor guy if he thought it looked healthy enough… You are young, eat what makes you feel good,the rest is just a big racket. Seeking a new job, Worzel.

I had to read that twice to fully absorb the meaning of your words, hoping against hope that what you describe was not what I thought it was. But it was. Oh dear Lord. Yes– seek alternative employment! And that’s good advice 🙂

Hahahaha the dog has already survived heartworms and near obesity after I left her in the care of a family with 5 children (who all liked to feed her chicken nuggets) I’m sure she’ll be fine with cancer!

You can do it! As with anything- consistency is the key, eh? Keep at it- no matter what. Even if it’s 5 minutes, you know? As long as you’re relatively consistent, it’ll pay off. Good luck with it. ;0)

Damn, Aussa, that was hilarious. I was most of the way through the comments when I went outside to do the last 5 of the 30 laps I have been walking around this house I am visiting. That is a lot for me, as I walk with a cane. So I was thinking about your device, and that got me to wondering about how many steps there are to each lap. It turns out that there are about 115. See, I told myself, you don’t need a device to figure out how far you have walked, this is easy… wait, was that 3 laps or 4? So I did 2 more, and if that was an extra lap, I’m blaming it on you.

Hahaha! I suppose this is not the worst of things you could possibly blame me for…. and I love (sorry) that you lost track of counting. I am the absolute queen of that. Measuring ingredients… lifting weights… counting people in a room… Can’t do it.

How many calories for smashing the Fitbit with a hammer? And how many calories is it if you eat the pieces of your smashed Fitbit? This post is hilarious and perfect because the Mrs. just asked for a fitbit today. I’ll have her read this and save us both a lot of trouble.

Aw well it could be a good thing! Just………. be better at math than me! And/or don’t catch bad math from anyone. I haven’t given up hope yet… I’ll see if my small brain can fully comprehend it after a few more days of data to scrutinize.

I’ve had a fitbit since Christmas and everyday I love it and hate it so passionately it is a little bit out of hand. I obsess over the numbers all day and I get SO ANGRY when I like workout really hard and it is like “JK you actually were only REALLY ACTIVE for like 7 minutes” And then I get mad and throw shit and lay on the couch because all is pointless! And then other days it motivates me and I love seeing the green smiley faces at the end of the day. Although I obsess over health stuff way to much without the Fitbit……errrrr…. haha

There are green smiley faces?!?!?! I don’t think I’ve done well enough to earn smiley faces yet… *falls to the ground*

The active minutes thing kind of cracks me up… it would be awesome if it had a heart monitor or something because I feel a little annoyed that it ignores my torture on the stairmaster. Still… if I were using any other app I would still be inputting the data, so it all works out in the end! I’m glad to know you’re still using yours since Christmas… I hope I keep with it long enough to see some good results.

Glad to hear the fitbit is working out well for you Aussa. Personally, I think that chicken looks delicious. Or perhaps it’s my stomach grumbling because all I’ve consumed today is a salad. And you don’t make friends with salad. Apparently

The whole thing sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. My approach is to work out, try to eat healthily(ish), and when I feel better or look in the mirror and like what I see, I know something is working – I don’t need apps and gadgets to tell me that 😉 THE WORLD HAS GONE APP-MAD!
A guy I met the other day asked me if I used BBM – I don’t even know what the fuck that is! GAH!
Rant over 😉

You have a healthy mindset! And you look great, so it’s obviously working! I like SOME apps… but I still have very few on my phone because there are some things that I can’t transition…. I love keeping notes and banking and that sort of thing but I can’t handle games or really extensive list stuff like Evernote. That’s what paper is for! And I have little scraps of it littering my entire life.

Ha, I still haven’t even looked it up – that’s how uninterested I am! I don’t know what Evernote is either 😉 I carry a planner around with me – I never remember to check the calendar in my phone! And I just like paper and pens 🙂

“Well according to the Fitbit I can never eat anything again, ever.” And this is why you should throw that in the bin, exercise whenever you can be arsed and eat cake whenever you want. It will all even itself out in the end…

And don’t even worry about me stopping eating! No way, no how. There are too many fabulous things in this world for me to shove down my gullet, it would be an insult to our creator for me not to enjoy them, am I right? I mean, we’re talking religion here.

Ohhh my gosh, this fitbit shit would be too much for me. I have moments of obsession, but have been doing the whole “intuitive lifestyle” for a while and that seems to work best for me. If I see numbers, or count calories it’s just bad news.

You’re definitely on my list of people to take advice from, because you’re not toooooo extreme (my quinoa laden friend) and seem happy with your choices in a non-punitive non-obsessive way. I’m naturally prone to tracking things and searching for patterns– I’ve been documenting my nightmares for 11 months now, can’t wait to examine the data– so I’m hoping this might be an assist for that part of my brain. We shall see!

“It was starting to get dark outside.”
This line worked on so many levels.

I am intrigued by this thing’s ability to measure your sleep! I have always wanted to lie in a room and have scientists watch me sleep and tell me how good or bad at it I was. (I also have always wanted an alarm clock that wakes me up at the perfect part of my REM cycle. But I am skeptical about whether or not those actually work, so I procrastinate getting one.)

I would not like something telling me how much to eat though. Counting calories was the worst two years of my life. Sure I was hot and happy and healthy and ate a really balanced diet. But I was soooo obsessed with numbers. I will never forget how many calories are in an apple. And that is useless information. Useless!

I agree about the counting calories thing. A good friend of mine struggled with an ED while she was doing ballet– she says similar things, like “I will never forget how many calories are in a piece of lettuce.” Surely there are better uses for our brain and memory.

The sleep thing is sooo fascinating. It bases it on your movements… It seems fairly accurate from what I can tell– I looked at the time when I woke up at 5:20AM the other morning and when I check the sleep graph later it showed I’d woken. Pure voodoo, that.

I’ve heard of iPhone apps that wake you based on REM… I’m fascinated as well. In my best sleeping times I would use an app that told me when exactly to start trying to fall asleep so that I would awake by a certain time– or you could tell it when you THOUGHT you would fall asleep and it would tell you when exactly to set your alarm.

hahahahaha Aussa, this is one of my favorite posts of yours. Cancer chicken….ahahhahaha. You should see my ridiculous giant grin right now. And as for your question, uh, yeah. Simple things hurl me into the fetal position about 4 times a day. Because….blonde. I spend half my day staring blankly, in total overwhelm shut-down because I have to add a widget, or god-forbid program one of my son’s new digital watches.

The last time something completely did me in was those M$#$#!@R F#CKING rainbow loom bracelets. My 7yo was obsessed with them, but would often start one and not be able to finish…..which left me to try and finish it. I can’t even tell you….it literally drove me to tears. I’m not okay with those things. They’re from a bad, bad place where people are Type A and can follow instructions.

“Play-Doh is my speed”– yes! Give me something I can create to my own liking, don’t ask me to follow some sort of rigid instructions! And it’s hilarious how these things can waylay us. I mean….. there are certain things that I can do and I’m like *pats self on back* “I’m so smart, I so got this” and then two seconds later I’m falling on the floor again.

I started the workout that rhymes with boss spit 3 weeks ago yet I’ve gained weight, gotten sick twice, and today my throat feels like a I filled in as a singer for an AC/DC gig and my voice is now a Wham song (not wake me up before you go go, but the other one).

So, I get that everything is trying to kill you. You’re young but google the John Travolta 70s movie Boy In The Plastic Bubble. Seems like a cool way to live, for a while.

Ha! Cross Fit is making you ill?! How does that even work! I do not doubt you though. Have you heard of those Skinny Wrap things??? This guy I worked with (the extreme couponer) gave me a pack of three to sample and I SHIT YOU NOT I got sick every single time I would try them. It seemed coincidental every time, but no. I’d be in perfect health, try that chub-zapper and BOOM I’d have a cold. Same thing happens when I try to take vitamins– I ALWAYS get a cold. Everything is out to get us.

I’ll bet you can find them there! And yeah I still don’t fully understand the calibration thing… I feel like it’s just keeping secrets from me all day and I don’t know if I’ve won or lost at the game of living healthy until it’s midnight, the chips are all counted, and there’s nothing to do but celebrate or wallow.

Stress actually burns a lot of calories. They don’t put that in the advertising, but it’s basically how a lot of these things work. It’s why gym memberships are almost unaffordably expensive for many people. But don’t tell the Elite controllers of the world I passed this information on to you, because a lot of their power is tied up in money generated by fitness tools, and they’d rather not you get the same benefit from worrying about the Elite Controllers for free.

Oh my gosh so that’s why people gain weight when they’re happy– the best thing we can do if we want to maintain svelte physiques is to subject ourselves to heightened levels of stress and anxiety. I’m so glad I figured this out early in life, thank you!

Stress–particularly chronic stress–adds to fat increase and fat retention, particularly abdominal fat, and more so in women than in men (but of course). This happens not only through increased appetite, but also through the body going into a kind of “hang onto the fat and increase the blood sugar” state–like preparing for a long seige. There are also indications that it is harder for women to lose fat than men. We are super-duper fat-storage machines!

Here’s one site that site that sums up the stress changes nicely, but you can google the topic and track back to find some of the research and abstracts yourself:

Recent research shows that chronic stress can not only increase absolute cortisol levels, but more importantly it disrupts the natural cortisol rhythm. And it’s this broken cortisol rhythm that wreaks so much havoc on your body. Among other effects, it:

I tend to respond to stress by getting fidgety and ignoring my hunger until I literally start blacking out from hypoglycaemia because my mind’s too busy worrying, so I tend to shed the kilograms, but hormonally yes, it’s not all pushing in the one direction.

I have a fitbit flex, and I find syncing it with the phone is so much easier than using the dashboard on the computer. I also have it synced to myfitnesspal for calories. I get so much joy out of seeing all five lights light up. Small pleasures…

Confession: I haven’t gotten all 5 lights to show up yet. HAHAHAHA that’s sad. It doesn’t count the stairmaster though! How am I supposed to go home and walk 5,000 more steps when all I want to do is fall on my face? Stil…… I will make that thing light up and vibrate by the week’s end, I’m determined.

Sounds like the FitBit would drive me up the wall 😉 And my husband thinks FitBit may be selling our health data to insurance companies … so … not for me. But I do wear a heart rate monitor when I exercise and use that to track my caloric burn and sometimes I kept a food and exercise diary (so far, MyFitnessPal is my favorite app for that). I don’t like things to be TOO complicated … I probably would have destroyed the FitBit and finished the burnt chicken strips out of spite 😉

Oh wow, that’ interesting about the selling-info-conspiracy. He’s probably right! All our info is sold all the time. No more living off the grid. I do love MyFitnessPal… I think that’s part of what makes this so confusing because it seems similar but it’s really NOT in the way it tracks everything. And believe me– I wanted to eat those chicken strips! Boyfran is far too concerned with keeping me alive.

This post gave me a headache; not I meant that in a slightly good way because it showcased what exactly you guys went through in each calorie inducing visceral bit. But your Boyfran’s reaction was a bit off at the end of the day it wasn’t math really it was that no one remembered that your device required some time to actually assimilate into your bio-patterns. Thus, it was three-halves done understanding the panicky state you guys go through, so for smart AI its adorably a slow learner right XD

According to all reports, everything is trying to kill you. “Cancer chicken” (I’m still laughing at the melodrama!), arsenic in apple juice, microwaves, GMO’s, I could go on. I am at the point that if someone tries to tell me about the next thing I just stick my fingers in my ears.

The Fitbit would totally stress me out. My husband got one for Christmas and we’re both scared to use it. I don’t want to know how bad my sleep is ’cause then I’ll stress about it as I’m trying to go to sleep. And I like to live somewhat in LaLa land. If my lame ass workout makes me feel better about myself I really don’t want to find out that it is, in fact, lame ass. But this was so funny! Does Boyfran just look at you in love and adoration when you have these moments? Cause it sounds like your little tantrums are very endearing and entertaining!

Also, horrible at math. I’m notorious for it with my friends. I’ll say something was $500 that was in fact $5,000. I just end up saying “5 followed by some zero’s”.

Oh my gosh, your list of things trying to kill us, yes. I took 4 different “Perspectives on the Environment” classes in undergrad and I think it put me into a depression because I was afraid of everything– I couldn’t eat any food, I couldn’t breath the air or drink water and everything from my deodorant to my fire-retardant bed sheets were trying to kill me.

And! I feel ya on the sleep thing. The worst thing to think about while trying to sleep is the fact that you’re thinking about how hard it is that you’re trying to sleep.

And I’m the same way about adding zeros to numbers. I’ll be like “yeah, their house is 35,000 square feet. Or 3,500 not sure.”

Got some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that food is killing us. The good news is that since what we eat is killing us anyway, we might as well enjoy what we’re eating and not feel guilty, even if it is burnt chicken.

Hahahahaha….I so see myself in this post. I was tracking my calories on an app for awhile, which actually IS helpful to know, as I think many good healthy eating efforts fail from UNDER eating and then gorging on Oreos with wild abandon (followed by mentally tortuting ourselves with shame). But alas, like all good intentions in my life, the habit slowly but surely faded from my “daily routine” (A.k.a. absolutely no routine). I hope you make peace with FitBit, at any rate!

I do like it when I’m looking at the Fitbit and it tells me it’s safe to eat more food– I’m not sure if it’s the best thing in the long run for me to seek permission from rubbery armbands before sustaining myself with nutrition, but it seems to be working for the time being. Last night I had a “fitbit approved” glass of wine and it may have tasted better than any I’d ever had…

I would have been super frustrated too! Plus I hate to read directions to things, I want it done fast and now. I had heard about charred food being a carcinogen and not to let things burn so much when grilling. I love to grill though! I hope FitBit treats you kinder in the next days ahead and that you two become BFFs. 🙂

I’m a pure product of my generation and expect everything to make perfect sense without reading any directions. I need it to be ‘intuitive’ and all that. But the world is passing me by… even the iPhone has begun to find ways of tricking me. It’s enough to make you want to eat charred food.

The funny thing is that even with all the frustration you have had with this tool and the fact that I’m not very good with technology gone mad, I think I want one of these! It sounds like something I’d really like to use. So I think there’s a FitBit in my future, but if it doesn’t work well for me I will never be able to top your ability to tell this story! 🙂

I do not obsess over fitness but every time I agree to sign up for road races I immediately regret my decision. As for the fitbit, I’ve read loads of people love the feedback. Don’t quit. I promised not to teach math so the professor would pass me. I lied. I taught it twice in 30 years. I should have kept my promise. 🙂

I am quite sure that the FitBit would be writing a blog post about how Elyse Tried To Kill Me. Because I would. Track MY sleep? RE-FUCKING Calibrate while I’m trying to eat cancer chicken? NO SIR-RE BOB.

Hahaha watching this clip now… what is it from?! I don’t have any clue, but it is perfect. Though I accidentally got myself into a situation last year where I had to (attempt) geometry. Luckily the internet was invented right around the time I was supposedly learning that.

OMG – I am potentially your boyfran. Yesterday the huz decided it was time to landscape our yard around our pool. This is something we have to do every year because no matter what, I kill everything we plant. Every. Single. Year. Huz created a blueprint (on the back of a receipt) and pulled me to the back window where we tried to map out where we would put plants. He sucks at math. The dude is a fuggin genius and can remember anything he has ever heard or read one time, but he can’t figure out math. Long story short, I kept arguing that he had the math wrong, and then we went round and round. Turns out, he’s so bad at math, he made me bad at math. Fist bump to boyfran. Living with you two is hard. You should give him a hug…or something.

As far as fitness, I’m obsessed. I watch what I eat and work out a min. of 3 times a week. I took two weeks off and gained 6.5 lbs. In two week. WTF? I kind of wanted a fitbit…until I read this post.

Hahaha! You’re the Boyfran but I am most assuredly your husband! That’s hilarious. I did the same thing last year with my garden and it turned into this overly abundant botanical garden Jumanji situation because I bought waaaay too many plants and put them waaaay too close together.

6.5 pounds in two weeks? That frightens me and reaffirms my decision to be forever enslaved to the gym. Glad that’s decided 😉

Haha! Such an excellent point. No, it was never going to be tasty anyways… When I have to prepare my own food, I’ll eat pretty much anything to avoid being hungry. In a military prison sort of situation, I’d totally be the scrounger.

I recently decided to get back to doing Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred so I could work on losing weight and getting healthy again. My legs were sore the next morning but I thought, “Eff yeah! I can do this! Today will be a walking day and tomorrow I’ll do the video again. Woohoo!” Later that evening I tripped and fell and twisted both ankles, one side being worse than the other. Well, shit. There went that plan. For at least a week or two anyway. I’m determined to get healthy damn it. Just so long as stairs and exercise DVDs don’t try to kill me that is.

Oh my gosh, no. That’s awful and has to be the absolute worse timing for an injury– why can’t they come during one of those phases where all one wants to do is lie about, eat munchies, and watch Netflix? Seriously, universe.

I’ve never been able to maintain any sort of compliance with an exercise DVD… I’ve done a few days of Insanity a few times, haha. Jillian Michaels is a rather frightening person though, so I could see her routines being helpful. I love her podcast but it doesn’t make me any fitter by just listening, unfortunately.

Hahaha I’m glad you enjoyed my vanity and melodrama, huzzah! It’s one of my most trustworthy survival skills… learning to spin a frustration situation into something I can laugh at. I’m happy to report that my chicken has been *less* burnt since that particular night.

Wow… 800 calories per day? Really? Crazy little fit bit. I used to eat around 1200 calories in my modeling days (Before I went to hair modeling which is much more forgiving) and that was bad enough. 119 pounds at five foot ten was just icky. But then after a bad breakup and an accidental pregnancy plagued me about three years ago, I started eating a lot of junk food. My weight is back to normal, but I do need to start eating healthier again. :O (Sorry, that was slightly candid). Hope all is well, Aussa!

119 pounds at 5’10?! Holy sheeee-it. I’m 5’11 and pretty sure that I would just fall over dead if I got down that low…
I’m glad you’re back to normalcy, it’s hard to find the healthy medium between the extremes– I’ve definitely vacillated all over the place. And! I always welcome and love candor so keep it coming, Sara!

Yeah it was gross lol by every standard except for the weird fashion industry. I am glad that I got out of that nonsense, as no normal person would think that is healthy or beautiful. I am sorry to hear that you have gone through similar attempts to be super thin, but happy you realize what healthy really is, or have a better understanding of it anyway. 🙂

I really contemplated getting a FitBit, but now I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to figure out how to use it. Although your post is hilarious, I’m sorry you were so frustrated. Hopefully you have it all figured out now!

I think I do, amazingly enough! I quite like it, really. It definitely helps with being mindful of the amount of exercise or just routine “movement” in your life… and I may just be a very simple sort of human but I’m very motivated to make that thing light up and buzz when I hit my 10,000th step of the day. If you think you might like it, I’d definitely get one. You’re likely not as math daft as me 😉

Seriously– it all seems doomed when you try to avoid things that are “bad” for you. Live all things up in moderation, I say. Surely it will all just even out? Hmmm.

And! What is this horrible pressure we constantly feel to “accomplish” things? Is that a good or a bad impulse? Is that our purpose on this earth? I need to think about this more because I think it really might be my most persistent nagging thought…

Actually! I had one an “accomplishment” related meltdown earlier! I mean– it was minor and relatively contained because I was on the stairmaster, but The Boyfran texted me something about my resume and job hunts and my title and blah blah and I was like “NO! I was feeling good about this day, get out of my to do list!”

Seems to me for the price of those things, they should send a personal trainer with it to stay with you for a week and show you how to use it. Just a thought. I’m more interested in the fact that burnt food is carcinogenic. I guess I should stop giving my son the singed bacon he seems to favor :/

I know! I feel like my entire lifestyle has to change because of this burnt food realization.

And if I’m getting a trainer, I want it to be like the dude from “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” where he moves in and wakes me up at 6AM by playing his guitar and installs a personal gym in my house and I don’t have to go to work for like 3 months. That sounds right up my alley 😉

Less in, more out. I’m far too stupid at maths to manage one of these. And computers. In fact, trying to deal with recalcitrant technology is one of the few things in this world which can reduce me to tears in a matter of minutes. I need things kept simple.

Do more, eat less.

And remember, nothing tastes as good as being slender feels (must keep telling myself that, so I don’t go back for another cupcake. Even though they’re healthy as they have sweet potato in…)

I embarrassed myself in front of my manager this morning. I stood for too long trying to work out 4 x 9, and even used my fingers (that method I TRIED to teach you) and because I was halfway through a conversation with her, I messed it up three times and she asked what I was doing and I had to tell her how bad I was at maths! YIKES!

I’ve tried something similar and it also wanted me to exercise FOREVER .. even in my sleep, apparently, and eat less than 708 calories a day. … SERIOUSLY? Because it seems just by being a female, and breathing oxygen I get fat. The husband, on the other hand, can sit on his ass all day drinking beer and eating Cheetos and by the very act of being male and CHEWING he burns about 5,000 calories. WTF? Last week I literally threw out our scale – and deleted that @$$%^#!! app. I’ll just try moving more and hope I fit the skinny jeans some day before I die of cancer brought on by starvation.

Hahaha it’s so true. Our bodies just want us to incubate warm cuddly babies all the time and thus require us to walk around with an extra 50lbs. That’s just nature. Obviously I am a scientist (must be why I’m so good at the maths).

I have a Fitbit too, and I love it…mostly. Before I eat a meal, FB says I am under my calorie goal, then I eat and it says I am over. It does even out later in the day, but I was confused when I first got it.

Can we talk about the 10k steps a day? That’s BS, plain and simple. I hit that once while on vacation. There is no way that is happening in my real life.

Hahaha oh my gosh, yes. Yeah it’s hard to want to feel like you’re “on track” all day long when you’re just waiting to see if it zeros out in the end. Ai yai yai. Thankfully I mostly eat the same stuff over and over again haha.

Also! I just hit the ten thousand steps for the first time YESTERDAY. It took a week for me to figure it out and I had to pace around my house/an ice cream parlor to get it done.

Oh dear Aussa. I too am mathmatically challenged. I recently received a pedometer thru my employers “healthy persuits”. I managed to program that and it seems to be counting steps. I haven’t yet figured out what appears to be “aerobic steps” although I have intentionally picked up the pace on occasion to see what happened. Nothing. So I just go along counting my steps and recording them on line (or inflating them on line) so I can hit my goal of 30 points and reduce my health insurance. or something.

I am certain Zola loved her jerky chicken. My advice? You can’t be in too bad of shape. You know what healthy food is. You are big enough to understand when you are full. Eat what you want, when you want. Remember to hit up some fruits and veggies. Eat when you are hungry and stop eating when you feel full, don’t eat by the clock. and look at the pedometer and laugh at it. Someone told me the goal is 10,000 steps a day. um. I have come close. I think my best was almost 8 or 9,000. And I did a lot of moving that day. Sorry, back to my advice, don’t worry about killing yourself to be/get fit. Just do what you know you should. Take Zola for a nice walk at least twice a day. She will like it and so will you!

Ha I love that you’re inflating your numbers to get a better rate on your insurance. I remember when I first got this job they would give me an extra $25 a paycheque if I would agree to have a monthly (bi monthly? Not sure… it felt weekly actually) phone call with some wellness expert.
“Have you done your daily cardio, Aussa?”
“No…”
“Have you been trying to eat healthier, Aussa?”
“…No.”
And on, and on.

And I like your advice! In fact I’m pretty sure there is a well researched bestseller out there that preaches the exact same philosophy so you’re pretty much a guru!

Well at least this fitbit thingie won’t become a treadmill or weight bench clothes recepticle! Every time I think I should get a treadmill and walk while I watch tv I mentally slap myself and remind me how much I do enjoy the outdoors and all the things I get to see, cause I am curious.(not nosey)

Ha! guru.

Me? Inflating my numbers? nonononono! I just think that if I would have walked the dog one more time it would have easily added 2000 steps, and I could have done so except it was dark. raining. I was exhaused after a 15 hour work day. my feet hurt. It feels so good to sit down. beer. so yeah. whatever plus 2000. I wouldn’t want to lie about it. At least I didn’t say no when they asked me if I smoked. I was gonna tell em I quit. Yep I just quit. In fact I quit smoking every single time I put a cigarette out!

This Fitbit doomaflagy sounds way to complicated. Whatever happened to just eating healthy food and working out several times a week. Personally I think the machines are taking over. I’ve seen the Terminator movies and I know what’s in store for us. All I got to say is that when the disasters come, I don’t want to be around to clean up the mess. And there’s always a mess.

I know. I’ve been thinking about this extensively and I’m pretty sure that the Fitbit is not only tracking me everywhere I go and reporting this intel to the NSA, but it’s also recording all my conversations and making a record of how boring most of my day is. It has got to be stopped. Then again… it’s so fun to watch it light up. I’m beyond torn.

I’m not so much worried about the NSA. I already figured they were watching me. Our tax dollars at work, you know. Kind of sounds ridiculous. We’re paying the folks who are spying on us to spy on us. The scary thing is all the corporations who are collecting data on us. And if any of them get anything wrong, we have no way of correcting it.

Amazon’s response: Dear Aussa. First we must ask you not to shout. Our customer service staff is losing its hearing from all the shouting from the many customers who have had an unhappy Amazon experience. Secondly we apologize that your package has not arrived. All of our toe rings have been coming in late. Seems that our toe ring supplier has resisted paying us the bribe we demanded. The good news is that the supplier has accepted our latest offer. Says that we offer much better terms than Walmart. So please accept our apology. Your toe rings are on their way to you. As a reward, we are not going to raise your shipping rate as was planned. We do appreciate your patience in this matter and hope that your experience at Amazon has been a good one. Amazon.

Your encounter with the Fitbit is exactly the reason I don’t own one. I can’t even add foods into a freakin’ iPhone app without a complete meltdown, as I can’t always find the exact brand, I don’t eat every morsel, so how do I calculate that I only ate 3/4 of the serving size?! I just try to drink more liquids (liquor), as that tends to ‘fill me up’. That’s my version of trying to be a health nut.

Oh, Aussa. Thanks for that necessary smile to start my day 🙂 I have never obsessed about health and fitness… I think that my daily triathlon (kids – house – work) is enough to keep me fit and healthy. I have taken a more serious look at what I shovel down my throat over the last two months, though – and some of my favorites have been struck off the list.
Why let a machine decide on what you should be doing? George Orwell would be horrified – big brother on your wrist. Brrr.

Haha it’s very true– I’m pretty sure the Fitbit might just be the mark of the beast and/or the beginning of The Terminator. But I’m addicted, such a slave to technology and it’s baseless advice for my life. Now that I’ve (sort of) figured out how it functions, it’s helping a lot. And I’d imagine that your triathlon definitely keeps you busy! It’s kind of remarkable how little movement I would have if I didn’t make an effort… I have the most sedentary life ever: Sit at computer all day at work. Go home, sit at computer. No bueno!

I feel like they are missing out on a lot of calorie burning opportunities when they don’t let you include “anxiety” as exercise. In my world, that includes large bursts of adrenaline, heavy breathing, and feeling like I may pass out – which is EXACTLY what happens when I exercise. Frauds, I tell ya. So, I just add light walking for 5 minutes to my list of activities and know, deep down, that was when I nearly went off the mental deep end into my own pool of self-torment and imaginary fear. Same thing.

You could do that too and see what it adds to your calorie burning levels!

Haha! You are hilarious. It’s so true though! Back when I used to have panic attacks in the middle of the night, my heart rate would be RACING so badly that I’d think I was dying. If the whole point of cardio is to get your heart rate elevated then badabing-badaboom, that should count for at least a day’s workout.

I don’t think you have to be bad at math to misunderstand Fitbit- it seems like it’s completely unorganized and living it’s own life with no regards to yours. Kinda like an annoying friend.

I do get health obsessed every now and then, but mostly I’m fine. I know that I eat pretty healthy stuff so I really don’t have to worry. I also exercise a lot so if I sometimes eat a lot, I know I have earned it. But I do feel guilty when eating ice cream! Mostly because I’m allergic to milk…

bahaha this is beautiful and awful. i had a brief spell of using a livestrong calculator and my account had a glitch so it starved me for like 3 weeks before i caught on and made a fake with the exact same info – bonus, 700 more calories! Yeesh. those things are ACTUALLY a recipe for eating disorders if people trust them.

Starved you for 3 weeks! I wouldn’t have made it that long, ha. I’m making peace with the fitbit now… my only beef is that it doesn’t count my steps on the stairmaster. Maybe I should just thrust my hand forward with every step… though that might earn me more attention than I’m usually looking to get at the gym, ha.

Okay you know what’s amazing? This comment went into spam. And then you taunted me. But then you cheered me! And then I think you taunted me again today. And now I see this… I REALLY need to charge my FitBit.

LOL. I just read this one. It sounds like me trying to figure out my fitbit that work gave me. I’m suppose to do 10k steps a day. That only happens if I walk in place watching tv.
I SIT AT A DESK ALL DAY.
Do they want me to try using my laptop doing laps around the office? I can try. I can also try to put it on the cat (that doesn’t work, I tried.) I also don’t have any kids to attach it to as they run around. I think this is one challenge this person will actually lose.

Oh man, the challenge thing. The only part of that I’ve been remotely involved in is having people “friend” me on the FitBit and then mercilessly mock me because it’s always at like negative ten thousand steps.

I get free things if I get so many steps. This group of people are competitive. I mean 10k a day, ok so we should have 120k as of today, some have 320k already total. Hmm.
I’m scared to have friends, they might see how much I don’t do much.

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