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about what?

October 31, 2018

Brooklyn, Atlantic Avenue

about what?comments beau vampanother dress quoting

about what?

One of my readers, we’ll call her Leslie, recently commented on the post where I talked about being asked the question, “what do you do?” Her smart, funny, and wee bit snarky suggestion was that we reply, “about what?” Brilliant! I’m using it.

Speaking of comments, you may have noticed that I haven’t replied to the comments that readers post in quite a long time. Among many of the written and unwritten “rules” about blogging, the one that says you should reply to every comment you receive is usually at the top of the list.

What happens is, most of us do so for a time, until we either go viral and have too many followers to continue doing that, not my problem, or we just fall off the process. We fall off because frankly, many comments are hard to reply to or they really need no reply.

The obsessive compulsive part of me feels like I should reply to all comments or none. But actually what I’ve found is that I prefer to reply to comments via posts, like I just did and I’ll probably do again.

beau vamp love

I recently discovered these Beau Vamp lamps! And I really truly fell in love with them. They are so pretty, sexy, of another era, and modern, all at the same time. They’re hand-made of dupioni silk in Derbyshire. Enjoy.

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good enough

October 29, 2018

good enough
the dress
quoting

One becomes a bigot, can we agree on that? I believe that the one thing that can save someone from becoming a bigot, is the “good enough education.”

I very well could have become a bigot. Perhaps all of us could have? I’m not sure. While I would like to think that I would have inevitably been a compassionate person, I know that things could have gone terribly wrong because the family I was born into was “headed” by a very prejudiced man, at a time when the man in the house was a king.

After my father’s initial influence, the larger community in which I was raised, could have taken over and reinforced the prejudice that I was exposed to. And then I could have sought out the kinds of experiences, information, people, and lifestyle to harden the prejudices into a pernicious world view.

Maybe I got “woke,” maybe I was smart, maybe I was stubborn, or maybe I just got lucky?

In any case, I was saved from a nasty fate. It seems like lately we have not been talking about what is necessary to prevent a person from becoming a bigot.

In the many, many recent discussions about increasing, overt acts of racism in this country and what underlies them, one thing I have not heard once, is the role of education in the raising of bigots. This fact confounds me,

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what do you do?

October 22, 2018

what do you do
sweats weathergreat dressquoting

what do you do

“What do you do?” a question that can make nervous sweat, slide down, between my breasts and puddle in my navel. But when you’re out there sleuthing for work, gigs, partners, or collaborators the question is inevitable.

I used to think I was the only one who had that kind of reaction, to that question…

While I don’t think this phenomenon applies only to older women, among us, the answer to this question is often accompanied with a long pause, stammering, general confusion, sighs, attempted explanations, and even, embarrassment. I’ve witnessed it over and over again, oftentimes with women who have had long, productive, and respected careers.

I, and many women I meet, are having an identity crisis.

We don’t know what we are. We’ve come to rely on meaningless terms, yes, like blogger, or to focus on something we think might slip by the social radar, writer?

But the radar catches you if you can’t sum up your career in two sentences, and this of course, is especially true at networking or networking types of events. And in New York City, that’s any “event.”

Unlike in Europe, got to love those Europeans, the question “what do you do,” still rules!