My businessman grandfather Max
Just didn’t know how to relax
Alas, it is true
I now do it, too—
With cell phone, computer, and fax!
—Julie Polak, Bucyrus, Ohio

The Saturday Evening Post staff is pleased to announce Julie Polak of Bucyrus, Ohio, our May/Jun 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner! For her poem describing this illustration by James Williamson, Julie wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Sep/Oct 2012 issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present some of our favorite submissions from the runners-up:

There was a busboy named Kip
Who delivered the news in a zip.
While the old guy scans,
The young guy plans
What to do with his stock market tip.

—Tommy Stuckey, Castleberry, Alabama

The old man sat in the shade
Counting all the money he’d made.
While some stocks were hot,
Others were not,
So he figured out which ones to trade.

—Fred Niessen, Pleasant Valley, New York

I’m bored while I stand here and wait.
This man has a very strange trait.
He can’t run with the jocks,
So he trades in the stocks,
But he puts a good tip on my plate!

—Ruth Roberson, Midlothian, Virginia

He could have a life quite serene
If he just took a look at the scene.
His mind could be free
With so much to see,
But his money and stocks intervene.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowswick, Ohio

To escape from his job’s daily grind,
He’d been told leave business behind.
But the sunbathing scene,
He found quite obscene.
To join in the fun, he declined.

—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania

Instead of taking a dip,
He’s tending to stocks, all Blue Chip.
While others have fun
In sand and the sun,
And a bellhop waits for his tip.

—Neva Madsen, Los Gatos, California

—Dear, the boy’s been waiting all day.
Tip him, so that he won’t stay.
—I don’t have my wallet.
I’ll just have to stall it,
And hope he will be on his way.

—Charlotte Cline, Spokane, Washington

The bellhop has seen this before.
“Mr. Bucks” making dough at the shore.
While the others swim,
His bank vaults will brim.
“Bucks” pleasure is getting lots more.

—Richard Kistler, Reno, Nevada

A man with investments gigantic,
On vacation bought stock in a panic,
Kept out of the sun
‘Til business was done,
But his stock took a dive like titanic.

I’ll certainly make you this bet:
The reason the man looks upset
Is the price of the chair,
Or at least its repair,
Will be sending him deep into debt.
—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, MI

The Saturday Evening Post staff is pleased to announce Neal Levin of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, our Mar/Apr 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner! For his poem describing this John Falter picture, Neal wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Jul/Aug issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present some of our favorite submissions from the runners-up:

There are rules when buying antiques:
Don’t trust any table that creaks.
If it’s ceramic or glass,
Take a look and then pass.
Don’t sit on an old chair that squeaks.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH

His goal was to impress her mom,
A role he pursued with aplomb.
But the chair where he sat,
Sent him down with a splat.
His performance was a total bomb.

—Jan Streilein, Aiken, SC

The broken chair might have been funny,
But Missus is shrieking, “Oh, Honey!
That chair’s an antique
And even looked weak—
It’s going to cost lots of money!”

—Merlene R Hill, Downey, CA

To browse and to look at antiques,
The couple went in the boutique.
He tried out a chair
And fell through the air—
His expression was something unique!

—Arthur Myers, Alameda, CA

The man saw a beautiful chair
And proceeded at once to sit there.
With a bang and a clatter
The chair it did shatter,
And stripped his poor dignity bare!

—Marian Kilmer, Versailles, MO

While shopping for chairs one fine day,
A man and his wife had to pay
The store owner Claire
For one broken chair.
Then she asked them to be on their way.

—Carol Haines, Plainwell, MI

As his wife shopped around in the store,
He thought to himself, What a bore.
He sat with a crash
In a chair that was trash,
And it wounded his pride to the core.

—Laura Donaldson, Mulberry Grove, IL

The antique shop had an old chair.
It was vintage and said to be rare.
‘Til a man with a smoke
Sat down and it broke.
The sale caught him quite unaware.

—Pat Keener, Maiden, NC

There was a young man without care
Who wanted a spindly chair.
But when he sat down
It fell to the ground,
Badly bruising his derriere.

It could be the sailors undoing
That he is so ardently wooing.
She may miss the mark,
But a romance he’ll spark,
Unaware that hot tempers are brewing!
—Virginia Wilson, Port Orange, FL

The staff of The Saturday Evening Post is pleased to announce the winner of the Jan/Feb 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest: Rita Schilling of Fort Worth, Texas! For her poem describing the picture above, Rita wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our May/Jun issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present some of our favorite limericks:

“I’ll help you with aiming that rifle,”
Said the “tar” to the cute little eyeful.
While he savored his fate
The GIs had to wait
But their anger they just couldn’t stifle.

—Mavis Hambeck, Gregory, SD

The young lady needed a rifle lesson
The sailor obliged her with a session.
It may have been a freak,
But she hit a winning streak,
Which explains each soldier’s expression.

—Allen McCleskey, Graham, TX

The navy man planned for some fun,
Although medals and rank he has none.
But two vets right behind them
Would like to remind him
The battle has only begun.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH

You would think there’s no enemy in sight,
Since this sailor has found his delight.
But the army boys here
Aren’t allies, my dear,
They’re just itchin’ to pick a good fight!

—Gail Pritts, Duluth, GA

As the swabbie helped take careful aim,
The young miss was enthralled with the game.
Little did she know
He was putting on a show.
Sarge was waiting to put him to shame!

—Mary Helvie, Chula Vista, CA

The sailor is clearly obsessed
With the girl in the plaid, pleated dress.
While two sergeants await
To find out how they’ll rate,
The sailor just couldn’t care less.

—Geraldine Bedwell, Newark, DE

Much to the young soldiers’ chagrin,
The sailor is trying to win
A hit with his miss
That may lead to a kiss.
A romance is about to begin!

—Violet Fowler, Saratoga Springs, NY

The soldiers were waiting until
The sailor’s artillery skill
Would fail to impress
The girl in the dress
Although he had looks that could kill.

]]>Due to a clerical error, the runners-up for the Mar/Apr 2011 Limerick Laughs contest will not be posted to the website. We apologize to those of you who submitted poems and were hoping to see them in print. In the future, we plan to post the top 10 limericks for each issue. Keep those submissions coming!

The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture.

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The May/Jun 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Sep/Oct 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by June 3.

]]>Due to a clerical error, the runners-up for the Mar/Apr 2011 Limerick Laughs contest will not be posted to the website. We apologize to those of you who submitted poems and were hoping to see them in print. In the future, we plan to post the top 10 limericks for each issue. Keep those submissions coming!

The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture.

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Mar/Apr 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Jul/Aug 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by April 4, 2011.

With amusement the kids watch this drama,
As the little girl clings to her mama.
But one little guy
Looks ready to cry;
Perhaps he’s reliving the trauma.

Honorable Mentions

Played out in some classrooms each fall,
It’s a scene that’s unsettling for all:
When a toddler must part
From the love of her heart,
At her first teacher’s beck and call.—Howard Price, Wendell, North Carolina

While her students all watched with delight,
As the new girl put up a good fight,
The well-seasoned teacher
Knew just how to reach her,
So her mom could retreat and take flight.—Mary Ann Pendleton, Waxhaw, North Carolina

]]>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2011/02/28/humor/post-scripts/limerick-laughs-2.html/feed7Limerick Laughshttp://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2010/08/25/humor/limerick-laughs-3.html
http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2010/08/25/humor/limerick-laughs-3.html#commentsWed, 25 Aug 2010 14:30:04 +0000http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=26461Who won the July/August 2010 Limerick Contest? You can find her in here, along with a few runners-up.

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Mary Ann Pendleton, Waxhaw, North Carolina, for the May/Jun 2010 winning entry.

One day after golf he came home,
Found his wife putting balls all alone.
With her putter lined up,
The ball rolled in the cup,
And all he could do then was groan.

Honorable mentions go to:
As Lou stood there perplexed and in awe,
His cigar fell as he dropped his jaw.
Since Mabel’s putt was on line
He moaned, “It’s better than mine,”
And he wasn’t sure he liked what he saw.
—Jan Streilein from Aiken, South Carolina
She said at home she’d be quite content,
So off to play golf with his pals he went.
When he left his spouse
To “putter around the house,”
This is not what he thought she meant!
—Jane Grau from Charlottesville, Virginia