work

Our work has value to God. Our careers are God’s will for the season in which we’re working, and work is an incredible vehicle for the gospel. But in today’s world, work has been exalted to a place of idolatry. We don’t just work to live; we’re supposed to live to work. While God calls us to make the most of our place, He would never have us sacrifice our relationships on the altar of career.

After ten years in the workforce, I resigned my dream job to stay home with my daughter. I now work from home as a guidance counselor and freelance writer. But in all the seasons of my career – from working third shift to waiting tables to working from home – I’ve had to be intentional about the balance of work and love. Relationships matter to our God, so much He sent His Son to make relationship possible! If God doesn’t let work get in the way of relationships, neither should we. Here are my top three principles for striking this balance.

Work to Live, Don’t Live to Work

Our jobs and careers are a means of provision, and as such reflect God’s grace in our lives. We should be good stewards of this grace and work hard within the positions God has placed us. But when work becomes an obsession or we are motivated more by power than by a desire to please God, we’ve missed the point.

Work is good. But work is not the purpose of life; it’s just another way to reflect God’s glory and spread the gospel to our community. We work to earn a living and maximize on God’s gifts, but we do not live to work. When God gave Adam and Eve the responsibility of tending the garden in Genesis 2, that was not the whole purpose of their creation. God created them for relationship with Him. If work is sabotaging your walk with God and others, evaluate your responsibilities. Check your priorities. Relationships, to God, always come first.

Refuse to Be a Victim of Your Own Poor Planning

Perhaps you’ve tabled some relationships because – work. But here’s a hard question to ask yourself: How much of the problem is not your work, but your own mismanagement of time? When we spend life in constant stress and anxiety, we’re not living the way God intended. God’s intention is peace. Since one of the chief causes of stress is bad time management, take a look at your planner. Are you a victim of your own procrastination?

We can’t blame work for poor relationships if we refuse to acknowledge our part in the problem. Perhaps you do have time for coffee dates on your lunchbreak, but you don’t want to make the call, so you use your hour watching Netflix at your desk. Maybe you would complain less to your husband if you had less stress, but you don’t manage your office hours effectively and your anxiety is through the roof. These things are under your control. Be honest with yourself, create a routine, and plan for success.

Work Is No Excuse for Disconnection

Some jobs are more demanding than others. My husband and I are a case study in this! We’ve spent at least 16 months of the last 2.5 years separated by business, and Josh spend the last year working 12-hour days, sometimes longer. But in spite of our history of tough work schedules, we make an effort to prioritize our relationship above all else. Work is not an excuse for disconnection – not from your spouse, your family, or your friends.

What does this look like practically?

Set aside time to connect each evening and assign household duties.

Use your lunchbreaks to call or meet up with friends.

Step out of your comfort zone and meet up after work, even when you’re tired.

Connect via email or Skype with long distance friends.

Relationships are meant to be prioritized. We need them! We were made for community, and even in this technological world we need face to face communication. Work is good, but it is not the end-all. It is not an excuse to neglect the people we love and need the most.

How do you make time for relationships in the middle of your work schedule? Share below and check back next week for a post on how to live well with an inconsistent work schedule.

We all want productivity to be part of our lives. We want to accomplish our best in work, love, and play. But when we pursue productivity simply to be productive, we’ve missed the purpose of it! That’s why productivity should be coupled with grace in order to be effective for Christ.

If you’re struggling to be productive and gracious, here are ten tips to keep you goal-focused and grace-driven.

Establish priorities with your family.

Whether you’re living at home, with a roommate, or with your spouse, take into account the people closest to you when establishing life priorities. For instance: Don’t set a priority of “world travel” without first discussing this with your housemates. Your choices don’t just affect you; they affect everyone around you. If you’re married and/or have kids, this is even more imperative. Your priorities should be established with your family, not in spite of them.

Create flexible routines.

A daily routine is the best friend of productivity. But in order to maintain grace in your relationships, the routine must be flexible. While a rigid routine might seem like the better option, life isn’t just about getting stuff done. If you forfeit your witness to check off a to-do list, what is your life worth? Make your routine flexible and adjustable dependent upon your daily circumstances.

Always have a Plan B.

Cueing off the previous point, always have a back up plan for your task list. If you can’t get something done when you originally planned, having a fallback time slot will reduce stress. You will respond graciously because you aren’t worried about getting the task done – you already planned for a delay.

Stop celebrating your stress level.

Our culture portrays stress like a badge of honor. It’s not! Stress is evidence of mismanagement of time and emotion. God does not call us to stress but to rest, and bragging about how “stressed” or “busy” we are only proves that we’ve missed His priorities for our lives. If you can’t manage your life in a gracious manner, something needs to go.

Keep all your lists in one place.

I recently began bullet journaling. I love that it enables me to keep all my lists in one place – rather than rummaging through my planner for the grocery list, the daily list, and the packing list I’d inevitably lose. If you don’t bullet journal, post your lists in a public spot in your home, such as the fridge or a command center. Keep everyone clued into what you’re doing that day so they can help with the list, or at least be aware of your schedule.

Be realistic about your time.

I’m a classic overcommitter. But since having a baby, I’ve realized my time is limited and – as Lysa TerKeurst so wisely wrote in her recent book – I need to choose the “best yes” in every situation. Choosing the best means sometimes saying no. Be realistic about how much time is actually available to you. Don’t push yourself to an unnecessary stress level just to “do it all”.

Communicate your need for help.

Like I talked about in this post, I not only ask my husband to help me at home, we divide the labor. Because I work from home and he works long hours, we only have a few hours before bed in the evenings. For several months I was frustrated by caring for the baby AND making dinner, doing the dishes, and cleaning up before bed – there was no time left for us to be together. I communicated my needs to Josh and we developed a plan for our evenings.

Don’t expect people to know you need help. We are all inherently selfish, and just because someone “should” know you need help doesn’t mean they’ll always recognize it. Give grace, and communicate.

Don’t expect others to share your passion.

Not everyone will understand your goals and priorities. For example, of my five siblings, I am the most goal-oriented. I defeat procrastination through self-discipline, and am constantly refining my priorities and plans. This works for me – but I don’t expect my family to do the same.

Communicate your priorities, plans, and schedule, but let your people be themselves. They need that freedom! Trying to force them into your schedule will only put strain on your relationships.

Set boundaries.

Be realistic. Communicate your needs. Don’t put burdensome expectations on others. Now you also need to set boundaries. There are some people who don’t understand the productive lifestyle, and truly would rather watch Netflix than end their day with the satisfaction of work well done. These people can still make good friends, but you must be clear about your time and know when to leave. If they often visit your house, find a gracious way to escort them out if they overstay their welcome. People who don’t schedule their days will have a hard time understanding people who do, so graciously communicate your schedule ahead of time, and remind them if they don’t adhere to it.

Work for grace, not perfection.

Emily Ley of Simplified Planners often uses this quote. Lara Casey, one of my favorite writers and business owners, also talks about this principle. It’s not about how much you get done but your attitude as you do it! If you lose your grace in pursuit of perfection, you’ve missed the purpose of it all.

Stress: We all deal with it. I’m frequently asked for the resources I’ve used in my own journey out of anxiety, so here’s a round up of some books and posts to help you handle stress with faith and grace.

“The peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds. Every year, month, day and hour that I refused to trust this, I walked in anxiety. Trying to address the emotions themselves doesn’t work because the emotions are not the problem. The problem is first spiritual, then mental, and then emotional. Peace is not found by numbing emotion but by addressing the spiritual battle being waged for our minds.”

“Well, I struggled with anxiety attacks in high school,” I began, pausing for a few moments before leaving her with something like this: “But I promise you, everything is going to be OK. It took me years to realize this, but I’m telling you this doesn’t have to define you. There is hope. And I can say that because I know that … because God saved me by showing me another way to live.”

“Can I stop bowing to the god of productivity and lay my toil down to appreciate God’s gifts? Can inactivity really be holy? These are the lessons I am trying to learn as the twilight of summer is on the horizon.”

“Even though we want to be content and trust God, we can still feel overwhelmed by worry. Filled with encouragement and practical help for overcoming anxiety, this 12-session Bible study for women explains what God says about contentment and offers ways to apply it to daily life.”

“John MacArthur, Jr. believes that peace is not only possible, it’s a divine mandate. Drawing from a rich legacy of teaching and ministry, MacArthur puts aside cultural cures to uncover the source of our anxiety and stress. Based on solid Biblical insights, Anxious for Nothing shares how we can overcome uncertainty, defeat doubt, and be truly worry-free.”

Last week on Uniquely Woman, Lisa and I discussed how college benefited our lives as mamas. This naturally transitions into how to work from home as a mama. Lisa and I both do different types of work from our homes so we can be home with our child(ren). These principles don’t just apply to paid jobs; you can use the same methods to pursue a side hustle, volunteer, or serve in ministry.

Over the next few weeks, you’ll see my blog’s focus start to shift. I’m not changing anything so much as *adding* new topics and content! There will be more posts on productivity, college and career, habit forming and routines. These topics have been consistently requested by readers and still fit with my pro-woman, pro-Jesus stance. I think these posts will continue the discussion of how to put theology to action in our daily lives!

It might surprise you to learn that your morning routine actually begins the night before. The key to a great day lies in those first few hours after you wake up, so morning routines are my jam – I love a good jumpstart on productivity!But I find that a good morning routine goes awry if you don’t have a system in place for the previous night. Enter: The evening routine!

Your daily routine will reflect your personal life and priorities, and the evening routine will do the same. No two routines will be identical. Your own structure will even change as you embrace new commitments and life stages. Don’t have an evening routine? Here’s how to create one.

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Overcomers gather here. I'm Phylicia, and I believe in abundant life, practically. In singleness or marriage, work or home, we don't have to live in defeat! Join me to learn how to apply God's Word and preach the gospel with your life. View Full Profile

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