Wednesday Watch List: DEATH IS ALL AROUND!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and attempt to make chocolate chip cookies before realizing you ate the bag of chocolate chips four days ago. Dang you and your insatiable appetite! LET’S GO!

DEATHWISH MOVERS – 10:00PM (Travel Channel) You may have thought that every occupation out there had its own reality series: pawnbrokers, fishermen, truck drivers, certified public accountants… but you’re WRONG. This new Travel Channel series takes a look at the dangerous, terrifying world of MOVING. Yes, moving. China could get broken! Fingers could get smashed! That U-Haul may not get packed efficiently! The danger is almost too tempting to resist. Follow a team of Boston movers (OW-AH MOVAHS AHHH BETTAH THAN YOUR-AH MOVAHHHS!) as they attempt to hoist a piano 200 feet in the air in the swirling sideways Boston winds. Will the piano make it? Will it take the strength of 57 Jason Variteks to get it up where it belongs? There’s only one way to know! ANTICIPATION: MOVING!

TOP CHEF: ALL STARS – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) The final four have to cook a seafood dinner and – A TWIST! – they must go scuba diving to catch their ingredients. Wha wha wha?! That’s krayzee! So go ahead and tape this and then skip the ten-minute part where all the chefs are like, “I have NEVAH done anything like this!” We’re aware, kiddo. That’s why it’s a reality show. I think Blais may choke at the end, by the way. This thing may be Antonia’s to lose. ANTICIPATION: BLAISIN’!

I’M ALIVE – 10:00PM (Animal Planet) A man survives a helicopter crash, only to end up trampled by an elephant and trapped under an overturned truck. So yeah, he’s a just a bit unlucky. I’d avoid lightning if I were him. ANTICIPATION: SNAKEBITTEN!

1000 WAYS TO DIE – 10:00PM (Spike) Continuing with tonight’s death theme, learn how a Russian pimp, a billionaire, an ice cream maker, and a pyromaniac meet their demise. Well, there’s just no way I’ll be able to figure out what killed the pyromaniac. Unless he was killed by fire. Seems like the obvious choice. FUN NOTE: I’m told the Russian pimp dies of a broken heart. They’re such fragile creatures. ANTICIPATION: DEATH!

AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX) The finalists sing songs from the year in which they were born. That means one kid will bust out a Nirvana song and you will feel like the oldest thing that has ever existed on the face of the planet. ANTICIPATION: PUNK KIDS!