Spitfire

I’ve been taking my Lorazepam for a little over a week now and have been doing awesome on the panic attacks. I have noticed, however, that I am much easier to provoke. I’m generally pretty mild mannered and have a long fuse. Lately, I’ve yelled at someone out the window because they were driving crappy, have snapped at The Sweetness and chewed out 3 managers at the Smith’s.

The managers at Smith’s deserved it and I’m proud of standing up for someone who was being bullied. They were all standing there in the front of the store, by the registers, yelling at an employee in front of everyone. I watched this for awhile and listened to them berate him and discipline him for not smiling enough until I couldn’t stand it anymore. A few minutes earlier they put an announcement over the intercom inappropriately directing an employee to work on putting away some crates. It was over the top and the employee got on to say he was working on it to make it stop since it had been going on for several minutes. This may or may not have been the same employee I was watching.

I walked up to the managers and asked if they had back offices. He said yes, so I told him this would be better handled back there and that it was inappropriate to be disciplining an employee in front of customers. I mentioned the announcement and told them that was also inappropriate and bad management. They grumbled they were sorry and I went on my way. I was still steaming about it though. What a terrible way to manage an employee. If it had been me it would have either made me cry or quit right there on the spot. Bottom line: the employee was going to be upset and his performance would not improve.

My increased temper is pretty minor and I’m not going to worry about it too much, but it’s something I need to work on. I think it’s either my brain chemistry re-balancing or that I’m not afraid anymore and am speaking my mind and/or tired of smiling and playing nice. I suspect that I will keep standing my ground and speaking my mind, which will be a change for most people I know. So, if I’m cranky, stand offish, antisocial or hurt your feelings, I don’t really mean it and don’t take it personally.