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Gospel of Matthew

I have a little print-paper icon of St. Moses of Ethiopia that I use as a bookmark. It is currently in use as I read My Life in Christ by St. John of Kronstadt as part of my bedroom prayer rule. On the icon are these words from the African monastic,

Even in little sins, let us force ourselves and not become lazy for truly we have forgiveness of sins

From the Russian priest, I found these words on page 58,

Most men not only bear Satan’s burden willingly in their hearts, but they become so accustomed to it that they often do not feel it, and even imperceptibly increase it

It is not hard for us to wake up and repent of our “big” sins. We are quick to be offended, saddened, or feel some other emotion when an obvious act of immorality has been committed. If our vision along our spiritual journey goes no further than what can readily be seen, then Satan has blinded us. As long as we aren’t observant that we don’t fall for the “minor” temptations and make excuses for us committing them, the evil one is allowing us to rot from the inside. He is often waiting for the rot to set in so deeply that when faced with a major temptation, we will fall quite easily and not realize how we could do such a thing.

Oh, it is a little thing for a man to “check out” a shapely woman every now and then and consider it harmless. Yet, our Lord taught us better;

But, I say to you, if a man looks upon a woman to lust for her, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

In many cases of child molestation and rape it is not unusual for law enforcement to find the perpetrator had a pornography habit. Affairs and fornication begin with the eyes and the mind long before the sexual organs are involved. And rather than confront a son’s (or daughter’s, I suppose) lengthy times in the restroom or alone online, even Christian parents resign themselves to the phrase, “boys will be boys.” The perpetual laziness in not being watchful against and embracing lust is the cause of men and women failing at relationships as we don’t know how to relate to one another as beings who pursue purity of heart. Even as we pursue our “soul mates,” lust stains our souls so that we wouldn’t know the “right one” unless an archangel actually pointed him (or her) out. And even if we do find a good spouse, those little sins left unchecked and well fed are able to rot the best of marriages.

Murder can begin with unchecked anger, theft with envy, hate with pride; every “big” sin begins with a “little” sin, or a series of “little” sins. Care must be taken that we search them out within ourselves in times of contemplation and prayer. We who seek God cannot afford to accept the worldly excuses for them. They must not be tolerated in ourselves. But, we must repent of them no matter how minor they may seem.

“Go to your cell. Your cell will teach you everything.” — St. Moses the (Black) Ethiopian

Of course, St. Moses and the other great monastics of Orthodoxy could not have had an album from War on their turn tables back in the day. In fact, they couldn’t have had turn tables. But, if they did, I imagine any monk or nun would have heard this song and felt it fitting in to their spiritual journey. I forgot that I had a copy of “The World Is A Ghetto” cassette. The whole thing is a masterpiece of 1970’s funk. But, that fourth track, “Four Cornered Room,” strikes me as one of the best songs to prepare for daily prayers. I would dare say it is better than most contemporary Gospel music.

First of all, War was a band that never called to make a living from the Gospel. These were just some dudes from L.A. making songs about “Low Rider” cars, old westerns (“Cisco Kid”), and other stuff to bob your head to. Chances are, most of us aren’t reading our Bibles and singing hymns 24/7. We work regular jobs either as highly educated and trained professionals, something unskilled and minimum wage, or something somewhere in between. And even for full-time pastors and church staff, chances are that your daily duties keep you from any sort of introspective time in reflective self-examination. So, “Four Cornered Room” is not a directive from a pulpit nor a praise break by an on stage performer. It is a hint of what needs to be done by someone as regular as you and I. While ministers and musicians called by God do a service to mankind, there are moments when our souls are better fed by those who offer real words as they walk beside us than from occupants of honorable seats.

It was Jesus Himself that taught us the value of the “Four Cornered Room.” While War wasn’t giving an intentional Biblical lesson, they almost parallel the Gospel:

Thinking, talking; we’ve worked out our problems – Look like we should have better days in front – Just because we took our time to think and talk – For a much better understanding (War, “Four Cornered Room”)

and

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you (Matthew 6:6)

Also, consider how many of our slave ancestors took the time to be one on one with God and themselves. How else could we have heard such spiritual lyrics as:

Nobody knows the trouble I see – Nobody knows but Jesus – Nobody knows the trouble I see – Glory Hallelujah.

There is hope that comes from the Four Cornered Room that no matter what our struggles and challenges are, if we would just get to that one place where we can be to ourselves, Someone will meet us and help us come to a better time and place.

There really isn’t any point in fasting, praying, nor almsgiving during Great Lent and Holy Week if you are not trying to grow spiritually from the experience. During this time of renewal, I ran across one of the spurious letters of St. Ignatius to the Philippians that made me take a second look at the tempting of Christ in the desert (Matthew 4). Satan attempts to persuade Jesus into three frames of mind that would lead him into sin.

St. Ignatius of Antioch

First, is ignorance of the word of God. In the previous chapter, our Lord was baptized, had the Holy Spirit descend on Him, and had been announced by the Heavenly Father as the Son. Jesus needed no other proof as to who He was. Thus, Satan’s challenge (if you are the Son of God) fell on deaf ears as our Lord chose not to be ignorant, but to pay attention to the word of God rather than obey the legitimate cravings of his flesh.

The second dangerous frame of mind is a vainglorious relationship with God. Here, Satan was careful to use scriptures to give Jesus a sense of assurance of safety if He would cast himself down from the pinnacle of the temple. But, rather than fall for the seemingly legitimate bait of scripture, our Lord stood on the more humble command not to put God to the test.

The final mentality that Satan used to tempt Christ was direct rebellion against God for the sake of the world. No doubt, the splendors of the ancient world’s kingdoms were great. Yet, Jesus knew there was a much greater and everlasting kingdom that was not built by human conquest and construction. Our Lord felt that this place was so great that He commanded the devil to leave him for even offering up such a choice.

Christ overcoming Satan

Considering my own struggles and temptations, I can see where every sin is linked to one of these three frames of mind. For the sake of satisfying legitimate cravings we ignore the truth God indisputably revealed to us. We say and act as we wish because we have adjusted the scriptures to fit our bidding rather than to submit to what the scriptures say believing we have God’s approval. For the sake of what we can gain in the world, we gladly serve the devil himself in direct defiance that God has something greater for us if we are faithful and patient.

Pascha (Easter) is a few days away. I anticipate enjoying every form of meat and dairy product that my palate chooses and wallet can afford. But, I pray that I will spend times meditating on these lessons from my first Lenten Fast as an Orthodox Christian. Rely on the word of God and forsake the flesh. Walk with God in humility and not vainglory. Serve God only and reject this world as it calls us to serve Satan.

I used to trust the media to tell me the truth, tell us the truth. But, now I see the pay-offs everywhere I look. Who do you trust when everyone’s a crook?

Revolution Calling Queensryche

So, let’s see. The world and every agenda of it has given me a new lie to swallow. I remember the Twana Brawley fiasco and how that propelled Al Sharpton to the national spotlight. The football player turned war hero Pat Tillman who was shot not by the enemy in a fire fight, but by a fellow soldier. How one girl from West Virginia refused to go along with the exaggerations of her heroism and another’s death was ruled a suicide when even Stevie Wonder could see by the evidence she was raped and murdered. And now, I find out that the Matthew Shepherd case that had Americans thinking about homophobia and its victims was spun in a way to make him the poster child for gay hate crimes though other factors, namely drug abuse, were involved in his death. There are plenty of other true stories that any cause could highlight for the sake of their agendas. But, the media’s and society’s thirst for exaggeration and falsehood has obscured truth so much that many people have become calloused to one another. A change in politics does little or no good as both those on the left and the right have proven to be liars with no sense of remorse. Conservatism, liberalism, and even moderation are all failing and have failed our nation and humanity.

Monastic Contemplation

Anthony did well to go into an African desert to devote his life to prayer. Seraphim of Sarov did likewise in the forest of Russia. It was the the Son of God and the evangelist John that taught us to renounce the world ant its ways. Perhaps if I were single and had no debts to repay, St Catherine’s, Valaam, or even Holy Cross would be good places for me to live the rest of my years. But, total monasticism is not my calling.

Again, I started this blog as an extension of my second life character, an Orthodox monk. In real life, I have done the unthinkable in leaving a stable Baptist pastorate to convert to the Church. I think I should consider and commit myself even more to the faith and spend even more time in reading and studying the scriptures, desert and early church fathers, and other elements in Orthodox doctrine and practice to deepen my faith. This world offers little truth and no hope. There is a greater kingdom than this one. Achieving the greater kingdom must be my ultimate goal. I still have a job to do, a wife to love and take care of, and hobbies. But, the kingdom of God and His righteousness is the highest goal and of greatest importance to me.

And I must do this with a sense of love and laughter. Whenever I express my challenges and difficulties, my priest always reminds me to laugh at myself (and I give me plenty of material to do that). I can’t be so hardcore about working out my salvation in fear and trembling to forget that (1) Jesus took care of much of the process by conquering death by His death and (2) everyone I see is an icon of God. Thus, in my revolt against the world and it’s ways, I am called to express compassion, joy, and hope as well as to be humble, sober minded, and serious about the things of God.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16

Maybe I’m just odd. But, the same God-Man that said, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest … My yoke is easy and my burden is light,” is the same God-Man that said, “Whoever would come after me let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” I am glad that Russell Wilson is a Christian. But, let us always seek the whole depth of faith and not just settle for inspiring sound bites.

The quote from NFL champion quarterback Russell Wilson is a good one. There are a lot of people in our nation and the world who are searching for hope, peace in mind, and comfort. For a man who has worked hard to earn a college degree, practiced well in his chosen field, and performed to the highest level in his sport to acknowledge Jesus Christ rather than boast about his abilities alone is a good thing. It is my prayer and belief that Russell’s words will encourage someone to seek the solution to his or her problems in the Christian faith. Indeed, our Lord taught in Matthew 11:29

Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

And, as He taught his disciples in the same Gospel 28:20

… And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age

Indeed, Jesus offers comfort and constant presence to all who trust in him.

I saw this quote on the birthday of one of my heroes in the faith, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Dietrich was a German theologian who’s work is known by many modern philosophers and seminarians. While teaching at Union Theological in New York, he was offered the chance to immigrate and remain there, or perhaps go to another school. But, he made the brave decision to return to his homeland and conspire to end the Hitler regime. Bonhoeffer was discovered, imprisoned, tortured, and executed not long before the Allies would have been able to free him.

This is also Black History Month and only a couple of weeks ago, we celebrated the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Upon graduating from Boston University, some strongly suggested that he take up the pastorate at an integrated church in San Francisco, or find a large congregation in a Northern city. But, he made the brave decision to return to the south and struggle against the Jim Crow system. And though we lionize his memory today, back then blacks as well as whites opposed him at every step until the day he was assassinated in Memphis working on behalf of striking garbage men and planning a Poor People’s (not just a black people’s) Campaign.

While Jesus Christ is the source of comfort for and is constantly present with the believer, these things come with a cost. And what is the price we must pay? Again, from our Lord in Matthew 16:24

If any man desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

As shown in the lives of Bonhoeffer, King, and so many other martyrs; Christian faith comes with a price tag. The most expensive part of that price tag, of course, is repentance from sin. But the other costly price we are to pay is to be willing to suffer and die for the faith. No, not every Christian is called to take a bullet or die in a concentration camp. But, we should and must be prepared to lose ourselves for the greater promise of Christ. For some of us, it may be close friends and family. Others may have to lose careers and income. Still others may have to lose opportunities for advancement in status or fame. We are all called to bear a cross, an instrument to die a torturous death on. Your cross may be living in a dangerous inner city community though you have the ability to live elsewhere. It may be to endure a painful illness and still serve others even as you need to be served. Or maybe you have the task of spending your whole life aiding people who not only cannot repay you, but act as if they aren’t supposed to. Each self denial is different as is each cross. But, to follow Jesus and fully experience His comfort and presence in our lives, this cost must be paid.

As we share the Gospel with others, let us be mindful as much as possible to tell the whole story of what it is to be Christian and not just the more pleasant aspects. I believe that Russell Wilson does speak more in depth about the faith and that this quote on the photo was just a neat little sound-bite designed to inspire someone to seek hope in Jesus Christ. We should inspire. But, we should also inform.

I see the Holy Spirit blessing in this. I don’t believe Tyler Perry was playing. He’s a blessed man of God who told the truth. God wants us to share our riches. People are so use to seeing Perry as Madea, we need to also look at how God has blessed him and rejoice with him. He’s smart, anointed, and trusts God. I don’t know about you, but I pray that God will bless me enough to write million dollar checks. Like he said, God prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. Don’t hate, appreciate. Anticipate the blessing that God promised. You never know who God may send the blessing through or to.

My Friend,
It is silly ministry stunts like this so common in modern Protestantism that has driven me to the path of Orthodox Christianity. I could attack this ridiculous pep rally in a few different areas. But, let me focus on one major point that we have received from Jesus Christ himself:“Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” Matthew 6:1-4

What our Lord taught on the Sermon on the Mount is the direct opposite of the circus in this video. I don’t curse Tyler Perry and his success. Nor do I have anything against him giving any amount of money to any cause he sees fit. The problem is in the way that he did it. Had he simply mailed the check, or transferred funds to TD Jakes’s account with no fanfare, according to scripture, the Father in heaven would have blessed the gift. Indeed, doing the will of the Father by obeying the words of the Son (Matthew 7:24-27) means that the Holy Spirit blesses the act as well as all three persons of the Holy Trinity are co-equal and consubstantial.

Sermon on the Mount

Yet, look at what happens in the video. A famous entertainer is on a major stage with a famous minister in a large congregation mentioning another large conference also produced by the said minister. So, he is clearly in a place to be seen among the righteous religious leaders even though (to my knowledge) he has no clerical credentials. What does he do? He announced his contribution of money that the average attendee of this service obviously cannot afford to give. The announcement is made with loud praises and tongue speaking. It was as if a whole band of trumpets were sounding. Oh sure, they all may have been saying “praise God, hallelujah,” and other Christian expressions. But, Perry still was disobedient to the commandment of Jesus Christ! He did a charitable deed before men to be seen by them and received glory from men! Thus, as he has violated the word of the Son, he has no reward from the Father. And as this act was against two persons of the Trinity, why would the third person, the Holy Spirit, bless such a thing?
Let me not be critical of Perry’s sincerity. He did a good thing giving money to TD Jakes’s youth center. But, had he read the scriptures, he would have known it would be better for him to do it in private as Jesus instructed. Here is the danger in what he has done. Now the masses that were there looked up to the famous man who gave the large amount. They praise God and celebrate such a wonderful gift. But, what about the person who doesn’t have nearly as much to give nor the ability to give? Perhaps there was a “Tonya Perry” in their midst who despite being on welfare, gave whatever was in her penny jar to help this youth center. In the eyes of Jesus, who gave the most (Mark 12:41-44)?
“Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had, her whole livelihood.” (Mark 12:43-44)
So, what we have is a mass of people (ministers as well as laypersons) who’s praises are more focused on the fame and fortune gift and ignoring the word of the Savior they serve (Matthew 6:19-24). Again, the words of the Son have been ignored. Needless to say, the Father whom He is One with has been overlooked as well. Thus, with the Father and Son being in the co-equal and consubstantial Trinity, could the Holy Spirit be involved in this?
I do not think Tyler Perry is a bad person. Despite my doctrinal differences with him, I respect and honor TD Jakes for his effort to do something for young people. But, this was an unfortunate circus act allowed by ministers who failed to stand on the teachings of Jesus Christ. A left-field, out of context reference to the 23rd Psalm did not impress me (who was stopping Jakes from building a youth center?). Using the name of the Lord and spiritual expressiveness does not hide facts that the wrong method of giving was used and the wrong concept of giving was shown.
I have serious issues with pop-media Christianity, especially as it tends to stray away from the way the holy scriptures had been interpreted since ancient times. Too many of us are being fooled by any and everything that sounds religious and stirs us up. Paul teaches us to be sober as we wait for that Day that comes like a thief in the night (1 Thessalonians 5:1-11). I have no problem with people being joyous nor having plenty of money. But, it is possible for people to get drunk on these things as quickly as liquor or wine. Perhaps I am a bit of a critic, and please forgive me if I have personally insulted you or anyone else I know or don’t know. But if being sober minded in faith and true to the scriptures means being a hater, what is the definition of hate?

This is my first Orthodox Lent and I can safely say that I have NOT been perfect. I had two meat-eating episodes (Western Christian Easter and my Pastoral Anniversary), a couple of egg/dairy incidents, and I haven’t developed the habit of reading every last ingredient in the stuff I eat. Due to distance from the nearest Orthodox Church, I have made only one Akathist so far. But, I have put my Jordanville Prayer Book to good use. While I have been blessed with a few more victories over my personal demons have had my share of falls (and maybe someone else’s too).

I will confess that most of my spiritual failures begin with despondency. My financial picture coming out of a winter where I am, essentially, laid off for two weeks in the winter looks like a bus accident. Only by the grace of God do my wife and I manage to keep food in the house. My pastoral salary covers almost all of the mortgage. But, the utilities, medical bills, and old credit cards never seem to go away. So, yeah, loosing heart is very easy for me to do. Sleeping alone might be alright for a virgin monk. But, I am a married man who kinda misses the good old days (and nights) with the wife. Add to that any number of other things that go wrong in my life, and I will throw a my own mental whine and cheese party with the finest Zinfandels and Gorgonzolas.

So, yesterday morning, I was listening to Fr. John Whiteford’s sermon on despondency and found the most effective tools for fighting against this toxic root of so many other sins. Prayer and constructive labor. Fr. John brought up St. Anthony’s struggle against despondency. The answer to his prayers was how his neighboring monks would weave baskets for a while, stop to pray, and resume their labor. I am also reminded of my grandfather-in-law, Rev. Carter R. Wicks*. When he wasn’t doing something directly related to his pastoral or secular duties, he spent many spring and summer evenings in his backyard garden. He used to tell me that was one of his favorite ways to relieve the stress of the world on his mind, think about the mercy of God, and put food on the table at the same time. In the years I was blessed to know him, I have never seen him discouraged and ready to throw in the towel about anything. The wisdom of the great saint, an old Baptist preacher, and a Othodox convert priest made more sense to me than spending my day off wallowing in my sorrows.

I wound up borrowing a push mower from my church to get my yard cut. Pacing back and forth made me re-think about how the Lord is making a way for me to get through my troubles. I also began to ponder how I can use my talents and skills to make a little money on the side until I can get the full employment I want. And if it fails, I know that He who has made a way for me before will do so again. Our Lord’s words from the Sermon on the Mount became clearer to me:

Therefore, do not worry saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:31-33)

After planting the garden, I sat back on the porch with an iced tea thinking about how to restart my outdoor photography business and promote my secular writing for profit (turned out that I had a little more than I thought). As I do constructive things, I don’t have time to feel despondent. Yeah, I guess I could use one of the simple “catch-phrase” formulas to get me over the blues. “PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens)” or “Speak life to every dry bone in your life” or whatever else is being said by some ministerial celebrity or another. And if any of these things has helped you or someone you know overcome despondency, let God be praised. But, the advice of St. Anthony, “Uncle Red,” and Fr. John has made a major difference in my journey.

*Among the books that I inherited from Grandpa Wicks is a Russian Orthodox Bible, written in Slavonic (I think). Fr. John Whiteford is ROCOR (Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia). I wonder if “the old man” knew something he didn’t tell me before he died.

Forgive me for not writing every day. There are times when it is best to keep quiet. Drinking a couple of glasses of “SHUT UP AND LISTEN” tends to help me stay out of trouble. I am an African-American Baptist Pastor and serious inquirer of Orthodox Christianity. I am in enough trouble as it is :)!

We Protestants do make attempts at fasting during Lent such as giving up one or two food items during the week. For us, it is a form of self-discipline in honor of the fact that Jesus gave his life on the cross for our salvation. Thus, we should give up something as well to show our loyalty and devotion to him. It isn’t uncommon for older denominations to hold special Lenten services as well. For my denomination, giving up something for 40 weekdays before Easter is a new practice that is not shared by everyone. Some of us piously state that we are fasting from fasting. Such an attitude shows ignorance of the scriptures, Christian history, and an unwillingness to walk with God in humility. Those who fast only from caviar, lobster, too much salt, or too many sweets are merely mocking true faith as they can’t afford these things economic and healthwise. But, for those of us who do put aside meats (and other items) as part of increasing attention on Christ in prayer and almsgiving to celebrate our Lord’s Resurrection, sincere steps are greatly rewarded. Those who by medical restrictions can do only a limited fast can still increase their prayers and works of love to others.

Cyprian Bluemood. My Second Life avatar.

One of the key purposes of keeping the Great Lenten Fast (and every other fast in the Orthodox cycle) is to remind us of our reliance on God. It is easy to forget about His divine providence when we are bombarded with super-sized fast food offerings, all you can eat buffets, and cooking shows (aka “food porn”). Food, especially when well prepared, is a good thing and necessary for our survival. Our problem is that we indulge in the stuff, frequently the most unhealthy forms of it. We use it as a status symbol as we boast about what restaurant we went to, what we ordered, and what we cooked on the grill (OUCH!!!!! That was my right foot). We tend to eat for reasons of comfort or to hide from issues that are better solved by prayer and wise counsel. So, eating is both a basic need and a gateway that brings out our arrogance, selfishness, and self-reliance. It is no wonder why the fall of man was brought about in this ungodly fashion:

So when the woman saw the tree was good for food, was pleasant to the eyes, and the tree beautiful to contemplate, she took its fruit and ate. She also gave it to her husband with her and he ate. (Genesis 3:6)

Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ succeeded where Adam & Eve failed. He was reliant on the Father to see him through his period of total self-denial (at least Adam & Eve could have indulged in everything else). As He replied to the greatest of serpents:

“It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.'” (Matthew 4:4)

With the reliance on God rather than his ability to satisfy his belly, Jesus was able to walk in humility (“Do not tempt the Lord your God.”), complete obedience (“You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.”), properly use the scriptures to His faith (“It is written …” ), and rebuke the tempter (“Away with you, Satan!”). Fasting is a vital key in imitating Christ.

This is why the early church fathers gave directions on keeping the fast. Firstly that it is not a legalistic requirement for salvation, but a wise practice in spiritual growth. The very young and old, ill, and pregnant and nursing women need not fast. If in a strange land and someone shows hospitality, eat what is given to you. Eat grains, fruits, nuts, and vegetables (since shellfish were considered trash at the time, they are permitted) for the sake of basic health. But, do not indulge with even these simple foods. Avoid all meats, dairy products, fish with a backbone, olive oil, and wine. On a feast day in the midst of a fast, the latter three are permitted. With the dietary directions, increase the time spent in prayer. With money that would have been spent on expensive food, give to those in need. Jesus destroyed the power of death by his death. By His resurrection, we have hope to be children of the heavenly Father. As He prepared for His earthly ministry, let us likewise show our reliance on God by keeping the fast.

To my fellow Protestant believers, our Easter celebration is right around the corner. We have a right to be joyous and eat well. There is no need for us to all the sudden try to keep Great Lent this year. But, read and learn about Orthodoxy and what the church says about fasting throughout the year. Meet and make friends with a priest or devout believer (bishops are cool too) and let them explain how keeping the fast helps them in their walk with the Lord and is a part of their overall journey.

I started to post something yesterday concerning the Sunday of Orthodoxy. I typed up some things about how I believe iconography is a beautiful part of prayer and worship that should not be rejected based on a very shallow (my father, an iconoclastic Baptist deacon, calls it Islamic) perspective of the Ten Commandments. For the time being, I am going to hold the bulk of my thoughts on iconography for another time. But, I did make a post last year on the topic that is interesting enough.

Between yesterday and today, as I observe both Eastern and Western Christian tradition, the confluence of hope is quite powerful. We celebrated Palm Sunday at my church yesterday. My friends at St. Basil and other churches celebrated the Sunday of Orthodoxy. Today is the Feast of the Annunciation, when the Angel Gabriel foretold to the Virgin Mary that she would bear the Son of God. So (on top of going the view the remains of my recently deceased cousin and having a month delayed African-American History program), I am awash in the triumphant entry of Jesus to Jerusalem, the restoration of the Holy Images and the good news that the Christ is to be born all in the midst of the Lenten fast of both traditions.

When we commit to following the Lord, things will get difficult. From the first disciples that left their boats and nets, to St. Anthony that left his inheritance, to Rev. Steven Smith who left a well-paying career to attend Virginia Union University’s School of Theology (I remember him from way back in the early 1980’s); sacrifice is not easy. There are times when we wouldn’t mind going back to our “Egypts” where we had more than manna and water (my wife has a can of vienna sausages that is starting to look good to me). Praise be to God that we have a solid old covenant to step on and a greater new covenant to stand on and grow into. The Israelites were given punishment for their gripes and grumblings against the God that had brought them out of slavery and bondage. So, to all of us who have taken up the journey, let us be aware of the warnings of old. The greater testament is this:

… ‘I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’ — (Matthew 28:20)

Jesus enters triumphantly in our souls. We celebrate with palm branches. Jesus is the Word Incarnate. We celebrate with images. Jesus is born in the pure and faithful. We celebrate with a feast in the midst of a fast. May the confluence of hope refresh and restore us on the journey.

Oh Lord and King, grant me the grace to be aware of my sins and not to judge my brother and sister …

From the Lenten Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian

As with most men, lust is a problem that I struggle with. In today’s society, it is tolerated as long as one keeps his hands to himself. In fact, lust is expected, celebrated, and used for commercial purposes (Hooters, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and the like). The ease in which one can access the most abusive and cruel forms of pornography on the internet makes this sin even more dangerous. Since taking up the journey toward Orthodoxy, I have put aside my worst manifestations of this sin. Yet, I still succumbed to my eyes and imagination more times that I wish to count or share.

This Lent, I have made it a special point to refrain from such wicked imaginations. I tell myself that if an Orthodox married man refrains from touching his wife during the fast, what gives me the right to fantasize being with any woman. My wife suffers from both Bipolar Disorder and Multiple Sclerosis. Thus, lust has been a great burden on me. But, I went into the fast believing that God will deliver me from this chronic problem.

A necessary part of the spiritual healing process is to be made fully aware of one’s sin. By indulging in lust, I separate myself from the greatest icon I have in my home. My wife is my greatest icon for Christ counts Himself with the lowly and afflicted:

‘In as much as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:40)

The other icons I have in my home, if I ignore or misuse them, that would be bad enough. They are man-made widows into heaven. In fact, I can change windows and move them around as I see fit without any consequences. But, how many times have I ignored, shut out, been angry with, neglected, and belittled my wife desiring someone else? How many times have I failed to pray for, pray with, and show affection for my wife? Again, since being on the Orthodox journey, I have improved. Praying for her, struggling against my passions, and offering the Lenten Prayer has broken me to see how far I have fallen and how far I have to go. What I have done to her, I have done to Jesus. What I do to her, I do to Jesus. No wonder Paul advises us to “Work out your salvation in fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

It is no wonder why the Early Fathers (some date back to Irenaeus for this tradition) prescribed the 40 day Lenten Fast. Once when we are broken by the awareness of our fallen state, it takes time to be moulded into useful vessels of the Gospel. Orthodoxy calls for fasting throughout the year to help remind us that we are still a work in progress. In the Trisagion Prayers, we constantly ask for the mercy of the Holy Trinity. The Jesus Prayer underscores the fact that we are to be the tax collector and not the Pharisee (Luke 18:10-14). In the Ancient Faith, confession is a sacrament before God with the priest as a witness in the body of Christ as well as a private act. And that we begin the fast with Forgiveness Vespers where we all ask each other, including the priest and bishops present, to forgive our sins.

I am broken as I have seen and understand that I have not been a good husband nor as good as others think I am. It is not my place to compare myself to other men. I will be judged on my actions, words, and THOUGHTS (Matthew 5:27-30). I acknowledge my broken state. I have faith in the healing process. I have hope that the Lord will restore my wife. I have hope that He will restore me for her according to His will.