The musings of a health psychology writer and researcher

The Romantic Personality

The Romantic Personality

I have been doing a personality column for Natural Health, where each month I provide some insight into different personalities. Here is some insight into The Romantic. Does this sound like anyone you know?

Famous Irish writer and poet, Oscar Wilde, once said of someone: “He must have a truly romantic nature, for he weeps when there is nothing at all to weep about.” Romantics are very passionate people and can find laughter or sadness in situations where others don’t. When they do step out of their emotions for a moment, which rarely happens, they often surprise themselves and others with insights about how suffering and pain can be turned into lessons for personal growth and fulfillment.

The main identifying traits of the Romantic include:

They connect with life primarily through feelings as opposed to logic.

They experience life with great intensity, and often express this through art or similar creative acts.

They believe they are unique and gifted, especially given their ability and tendency to perceive and highlight subtleties in situations that most people ignore.

The stereotypical Romantic walks around in a state of self-induced torture, believing that their life is lacking something vital that others have. Consequently, they are often motivated by envy and feel incomplete while searching for the elusive ‘something’ that would make them feel whole.

Positives

Since the Romantic is so in touch with their emotions, others can benefit from their presence in a number of ways:

They can readily identify with people who are going through emotional turmoil, and make for empathic listeners.

Their lives can be encouraging to others; if the Romantic can live life so intensely and still survive, then it can’t be so bad.

Romantic personalities can teach others that there is treasure to be found even in the deepest and darkest of moments, if only people would feel more deeply rather than avoid unpleasant emotions.

Surprisingly, they can also see humour in life’s tragedies.

Negatives

With the positives of the Romantic come the following negatives:

Not everyone likes having such emotionally intense personalities around.

Since the Romantic longs for intimate partners who can match their intensity, it can be exhausting and demanding living with them.

Their emotional highs and lows are generally extreme, which can be difficult to deal with.

It’s not uncommon for them to be labelled as “drama queens.”

Some people perceive the Romantic as someone who habitually wallows in their emotions, which can act to alienate them.

How can I relate to the Romantic?

Romantics need to be reminded that because others don’t always experience life as intensely, this doesn’t mean people are necessarily shallow or inauthentic. It’s important to give your Romantic friend or partner the space to express their deeply felt sense of compassion, outrage or joy as it makes them feel validated. However, sometimes they need to hear the words: “Get a grip on yourself and take action!” Without these boundaries to their emotional indulgences they can disappear into themselves, which is unhealthy for themselves and those around them.

Am I a Romantic?

You are a Romantic if:

Deep down you feel your life is missing something, but you don’t quite know what it is, and where or how to find it.

You are passionate, and being true to what you feel is important because it makes your life meaningful and worth living.

Ideally, you want the world to recognise that you are special, unique, gifted and accomplished.

Nothing can stop you from speaking your mind with passion, irrespective of whether others agree or disagree.

You wish other people could experience life as intensely as you, believing that it would make the world a better place.

i like the way you explain things, it seems that you want to understand people , help them , and that somehow does something for you as well. you sound like a very interesting person. would love to exchange opinions.

i am studying counseling but i dont want to be a counselor, i like research, to investigate, understand, and bring some answers to those who need it. i am definitely a romantic, and that makes me want to bring aliveness to people.
i like what you said about romantics but i think that there are much more benefits to being a romantic than what it was described. it definitely a life of pain, but the rewards are unimaginably beautiful, leading to a life we find described only in books , songs and the like.

well , i think i said too much for one text…. wish you the best in your projects.