Diana Boggia: Tips for avoiding a chaotic family vacation

Thursday

Jul 21, 2011 at 12:01 AMJul 21, 2011 at 9:17 PM

With summer in full swing, many families are planning vacations with great anticipation of fun-filled days and the making of lasting family memories. Unfortunately, a lack of thoughtful planning regarding daily structure and consistent routine often causes tremendous distress, which vibrates throughout a family as children meltdown.

Diana Boggia

With summer in full swing, many families are planning vacations with great anticipation of fun-filled days and the making of lasting family memories.

Unfortunately, a lack of thoughtful planning regarding daily structure and consistent routine often causes tremendous distress, which vibrates throughout a family as children meltdown.

As a result, families return from vacation feeling they need a few extra days to recover from the chaos. Here are a few tips to make your family vacation calming, not chaotic:

Keep kids occupied

Provide children with a specially equipped travel bag, which includes new and interesting items, such as games, audio books and unusual manipulatives. I often see parents in airports, medical offices and restaurants who bring nothing to engage or entertain their child, simply expecting an old book left behind or a pack of crayons to keep their child occupied. These same parents then lose their temper, out of frustration, when their child misbehaves. Remember: Children require stimulation and personal, physical contact.

While many newer cars are equipped with DVD players, why not provide materials requiring engagement and interaction, which also provide stimulation and learning? Smart phones offer games of interest, but, again, why not provide children the opportunity to interact with family and learn about the world through hands-on experiences? When provided with their own travel bag for vacation, children will become more invested, remain engaged, show interest and intrigue and display less misbehaviors.

Provide incentives

It is inevitable that you will spend money on souvenirs, or even snacks at roadside rest stops. Parents can offer a money incentive for children who understand the value of money, allowing them to earn their snacks and souvenirs. This is not a bribe, as some may think, but rather a huge behavioral incentive, as a child becomes empowered by the opportunity to earn what he would like to purchase. Additionally, this incentive eliminates your child from begging for “just one more souvenir,” as he may purchase whatever he has earned for good behavior.

To start, provide each child with a personalized, plastic container before the trip. Explain that you will be offering the opportunity to earn 25 cents each 15 minutes (or offer a dollar amount per hour for 5-plus-year-olds who have more self-control) for cooperative travel, which means no fighting, yelling or throwing. Set your cellphone alarm so you are consistent and can follow through with your payout. Offer bonus quarters for exceptional behavior, such as polite manners, sharing and first-time listening.

Get some sleep

Going to bed in a strange place is often unsettling, especially if a family is sharing a room. Provide expectations before you travel, including quiet hotel behavior and general bedtime procedures. Ask if your child would like to take along anything special for comfort to help him sleep in a strange bed. Sometimes taking a pillow or favorite book from home can make all the difference. Don’t set your child up for failure and expect him to fall asleep in a brightly lit room with the television on. Take the time to set him up for success by reading stories in a dimly lit room, and following your at-home bedtime routine.

And remember, make it your focus to recognize excellent behavior every time it happens!