The hat action is hot at the Los Angeles Athletic Club.

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Dig the big hats, mint juleps, and clip-clop-y action of the Kentucky Derby? Make for the Los Angeles Athletic Club on Saturday, May 3. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Updated at 11:48 AM PST on Wednesday, Apr 30, 2014

There are many relaxed and desultory ways to view a sporting event. Watching a football game over at a friend's house? You might spend part of the second quarter chatting by the fridge. Catching a baseball game in a bar? A trip to the bathroom and a swing by the jukebox are not unlikely.

But the Kentucky Derby? That's a different animal indeed. Not only literally -- horses are the stars, of course -- but time-wise. What's arguably the most famous equine event on the planet is over in just over two minutes, give or take. That means no fridge visits, no chatting by the jukebox, just the full force of your attention.

Oh, and mint juleps and big hats, too. If you like swanning about on Derby Day but have no one to admire your swannage, make for the Los Angeles Athletic Club, which will once again throw a splashy party for the 120-second hoof-happy race. "Hold Your Horses" is the name of the event, a to-do which'll involve plenty of pre- and post-race imbibing and hobnobbing.

Alie & Georgia of The Cooking Channel will be doing the fancy-food-making honors, and "Leisure Expert" Rachel Mae'll be at the helm of the bourbon-y sips. And will Goorin Bros., the makers of fine hats, be in the house, showing off the Derby-necessary chapeaux? You betcha they will be.

Live bluegrass music'll keep the four-hour shindig going.

Yep, two minutes is just a fraction of four hours, but the Kentucky Derby isn't just about the flying of the mud and the crossing of the finish line. It's about costume and beverage and tradition and socializing -- all of those things, save a very intense 120 seconds, where jumping up and down and shouting at faraway horses and jockeys on television sets is practically a requisite.