May 2008

Many years ago, shortly after I was sentenced to life in prison, I unwittingly and unconsciously began to destroy the relationships I had with the members of my family...

They were lovely people who didn't deserve my abuse. Then, as one might expect, I lost contact with almost all of them with the exception of my adoptive father, and the uncle who was my adoptive mother's brother. But within several years my uncle would die leaving my father as the only remaining family member to stay in contact with me. All the others both from my birth and adoptive families exited my life, and I cannot blame them.However, after a decade in prison and after I became a Christian, I began to long for contact with my estranged family. In fact I missed them from the outset. But as time went on my yearning for them intensified. And as the years passed I would fervently pray that, somehow, I'd have the chance to make contact with my loved ones again. I was also hoping for the opportunity to apologize for the shame, grief and pain I caused. And now, some thirty years later, this may become a reality.For it so happened that I recently stumbled upon the phone number of a cousin whom I was once close to. It's a very long and private story, and I won't go into the details as to what I did in the past to cause our separation. But I have a friend by the name of "Sister Debbie" who has a ministry to prisoners and their families. Deb is very gifted at bringing about reconciliation. And she told me, much to my joy, that she'd be happy to help in this matter.Now, God willing, some time in the near future, my friend Debbie will try to call my cousin. If permitted, Debbie will read a letter of apology which I prepared for the family. It's a letter that I prayerfully composed through much soul-searching and many tears. And if all goes well this could result in a miraculous healing of a tremendously damaged relationship, with the hope of restoration, as well.Of course, it is possible that, after thirty long years, my cousin will not want to hear from me. Perhaps she's moved on with her life and has no desire to rekindle the relationship. If this is the case, I will never trouble her again. It will be her choice, and I will respect her for it. But at least I gave my best effort to invite forgiveness. Now it's all in the Lord's hands.D.B.