Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I know I have been taking a lot of photos of myself lately. I am just fascinated with how my body is changing. I am also thinking long term, and wanting to see how I have changed throughout the journey.

I love the fact that I can pull my legs up to my chest. My thighs are still huge, but it is nice that I can do this. It just really makes me feel so much smaller. :)

We had a great time at Dracula last night! :) We did the "Late Seat" tickets, hoping we would get to see the performance. We had great seats. The actors were amazing. I fit into the seat just fine, and it was not squeezing my thighs together. Instead of thinking about the pain that being squished into a seat was causing my body, I could just relax and watch the show.

In order to get to our seats, we had to pass 6 or 7 people. I didn't feel uncomfortable. Before, I would worry because I felt like I was shoving my body on top of them as I passed through. It is nice knowing that is not the case now.

I had my first Post-DS Starbucks coffee yesterday. There is a chill to the air, and it tasted so yummy. It was a sugar free flavored drink. For their hardcore customers they will now be offering...

Monday, October 29, 2007

I am ordering some Oh Yeah Protein Wafers online. I learned about "Oh Yeah" products from Melting Mama's blog. I love the Oh Yeah bars, so I thought I would try the wafers. I figured up what they cost individually. I found myself shaking my head. When I was 393 pounds did I ever stop to think about how much those 2 king size packages of candy were costing? Heck no, I just threw them up on the counter, and started munching as soon as I had left the store.

Somewhere in my head, was I trying to see if they were "worth" the cost? This is about my health. I need protein, and sometimes I will need protein bars for when I cannot access other food choices. It just makes me mad that I was trying to justify the cost.

I am excited about taking my measurements on Thursday. I am doing them on the first of every month. I started this at the beginning of September. I wish I had done this all along. Of course I would have needed one heck of a measuring tape to have done my pre-op measurements. (Man, I can only imagine how scary they actually were!)

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I am back on the low-carb, high-protein wagon! It really feels good to be back into a routine. I know I was only off for two days, but once you get used to a certain type of diet, your body starts to like it. (I guess pre-op my body loved the high-calorie/fat/carb diet I fed it!)

I am going to keep you guys updated on my weight loss, but I am going to "try" to not weigh as much. I am seven months post op, and I've blogged about trusting my surgery and the decisions that I make, but I still have a hard time with this. I really think I need to step away from the scale for a bit. I'd like to work towards only weighing myself once a week. I am just going to take baby steps right now.

I like this song by Gary Allan a lot. What makes it have a deeper meaning is the personal struggles that he has went through. He was on Oprah one day, talking about his wife committing suicide, and more.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I have had carbs, carbs, and more carbs the last two days. I really have fallen off the wagon. In my mind I want to justify it, but that is wrong. I keep thinking things like, "this is way less carbs than I would have had as a pre-op," etc. Bottom line, things such as this are EXCUSES. I'm getting back on the wagon...NOW. I will be a weight loss surgery success story.

Friday, October 26, 2007

For my seven months post-op, I weighed in at 244.8. I lost a total of 17.8 pounds for this month. I am not posting a picture because I have put several up the last few days.

Here are the stats:

I have lost 148.8 pounds in total!!!

I have lost 63.4% of my excess weight.

I have lost 37.8% of my starting body weight (surgery weight).

I have shaved 23.3 points off of my BMI.

I am 53.8 pounds from an "overweight" BMI. (This is my next big goal.)

I am 44.9 pounds from being in "onederland."

I am 85.8 pounds from reaching goal and having a normal BMI.

I am so thrilled that I had the DS seven months ago. It was the best decision that I ever could have made. I have so much more energy than before. There are so many "little things" that have improved, that you would only understand if you have been morbidly obese your whole life. Life is really grand.

Woooo Hoooo!!! I am glad it is the weekend! I have one more short meeting, then I am ready to relax!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My doctor must have been having a bad day. That was the most painful yearly exam I have ever had. The good news, my weight was almost dead on to what I am weighing at home. That still amazes me. Sometimes I think that perhaps my scale is just a fun house scale, and showing me what I want to see. Seeing those numbers on the doctors scale makes it more tangible, I really am losing weight.

I got this new black dress which I really like, but here is my bigger rant. I miss my boobs. It is not that I had a lot to begin with, but I really don't want them to completely disappear. We don't get to pick and choose what parts of our bodies lose weight. Getting a boob job will be one of my first priorities once I reach goal!

I did have time to get a pedicure and have my eyebrows waxed after work. That was nice. :)

I weighed in at 245.6 pounds today. My rapid weigh loss is almost over. My cycle of weight loss the past several months has been nothing for 2-2 1/2 weeks, then rapid weight loss for a 1-1/2 weeks. I am fine with that, I just like having a pattern to things. Keeping this blog has really helped me to see patterns in my weight loss emerge.

Nothing too exciting is happening today. I am going to try to get my eyebrows waxed today after work, they so need it. I can't stand plucking them!

On my lunch I am going to the gynecologist. What fun! Until just recently, I had no idea that my birth control was not effective because of the DS (we malabsorb too much). I think I am going to get the NuvaRing. My other option is the shot, but I have heard from multiple people that they hurt.

My presentation went well today. After it was done, I got to watch some other really great presentations on collaboration.

After work, I stopped by Goodwill to drop off clothes that I had purged from my closet. It was really interesting. Being an obese gal, I've always had a wide "range" of sizes within my closet. All of the clothes I got rid of were truly too big. Nothing from my pre-op days is now in my closet.

In the past, I have always kept these "fat" clothes as a security blanket. It was such a freeing feeling knowing that I don't need to worry about this anymore. I am going to be successful at getting to goal. I will be successful at maintaining my goal weight. The DS is a tool, but I am making the changes to be healthy and fit for life. I know that there is a reality that I could regain, but I will not be a weight loss statistic.

Oh, I had a GREAT phone call from a parent. I was put on this case because her child was super behind in reading. I worked on developing a program for his teacher and assistant to use, and he is doing really well. She was so sweet and appreciative. Our first few meetings were pretty intense, but I asked her to trust me that I would find something that would work with her child. It was really nice. You just don't often get good calls like that. :)

Time for my evening workout. (I do know how to make paragraphs, but Blogger is being picky, and it is not working out right now. Sorry that everything is lumped together.)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I have a presentation tomorrow in Shelbyville, KY. I have been looking through everything trying to decide what to wear. I decided to take a few pictures while I was changing! Any late night blog readers who have suggestions on which outfit they like the best, feel free to let me know.

After reading for a while tonight, I finished cleaning out my closet. It is official, I now have no item of clothing in my closet that I had pre-op. Everything that is in there has been bought since I have had my DS. Almost all of it has been bought within the last 4-6 weeks. I have spent a ton of money, but desperately needed some clothes.

I have just finished my third meeting of the day. I should be leaving the office within the next 30-45 minutes. Since it is a cold and rainy day, this evening I am going to relax in my flannel pjs and be a nerd.

I am going to read some of my new book....

Research-Based Strategies to Ignite Student Learning (This book looked awesome since the woman who wrote it was a neurologist and then became a teacher.)

I'm also going to finish up Words, Words, Words by Janet Allen. It really is a good read, but so many other things have gotten put on my plate, I have not had a chance to finish it.

My new issue of "Mental Floss" magazine came yesterday, so I think I will read part of it too.

I am also going to work on some encouragement cards for some of the teachers I work with at my various schools. This is the time of year where some teachers can easily start to get discouraged. I've got some really sharp teachers that just need some kudos.

I am starting to make my list of books that I want to bring on vacation too. I know I am not going to take any professional books (although I do love to read them). So far, I've decided to take:

Love in the Time of Cholera

On Call in Hell

Landmines in the Path of the Believer

I'm open to any suggestions! Time to wrap up at work so I can head home.

I weighed in at 247 today. I am down another 1.4 pounds. I have lost 146.6 pounds in total.

I seriously have nothing to wear for my vaction which is in 24 days. I have shorts that are 4 sizes too big, and those are the closest things I have to fitting. I have got to work on that this week.

Has anyone out there used a pet sitter? I am going to have to get one for my cats. This is the first time I will have done that. I talked with a lady, and she seemed really nice. I am going to get her references, and schedule her to come over to my condo. I am just a bit leary of leaving my cats in the care of a stranger. They are my babies!

Well time to get moving. I have three meetings today. The first one starts at 7:30. Enjoy the day!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Today I weighed in at 248.2 pounds. I am down another 1.4 pounds. That is 14.4 pounds for the month so far. I have lost 145.4 pounds since having my DS!

The Stats:

I have lost 62.6% of my excess weight.

I have lost 36.9% of my body weight from my surgery weight.

I have shaved 22.7 points off my BMI.

I am 57.2 pounds from having an "overweight" BMI.

I am 89.2 pounds away from my goal weight.

It is going to be a busy week here. I'm sure it will be for most. What I love now is that busy weeks don't "kill" my body physically anymore. When work is over, I still have energy to do other things. That is a wonderful feeling. Who knew that I could do more with my days than simply barely exist?

Right now my goal is still 159 pounds. This is putting me at the high end of my BMI. I am not ready to change it yet, but I have started pondering just how nice it would be to get below 159. I'd love to see 145 on the scale. The absolute dream number for me would be 130. I am not sure where I will be happy and comfortable number wise on the scale. This will be something that time will tell. I know a lot of people say that the mirror will help me to judge, and how my clothing is fitting.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

I am looking forward to riding on the airplane next month. I am anxious to see how I fit in the seats. I hope that I don't need a seatbelt extension, but I still very well may need one.

Onto the next subject....The World Does NOT Care If You are Fat...Each day we are confronted with a zillion choices on food to eat. On Friday, I was at a school, and they had a "Chili Cookoff" for the staff. I must have had ten teachers tell me to make sure I stopped by and got some chili. I stuck with my plan of what I had brought to eat. I have to make choices each day on what is best for me to eat. I have to take responsibility for my eating.

My friend had lap band surgery a while back. (This is the same friend I have expressed concerns with earlier on her very light hearted decision to have WLS.) We spent the whole weekend together. I was FLOORED by how much she can eat. I am almost seven months post-op and I cannot eat like that. I am a firm believer that you can "out eat" ANY weight loss surgery. I am not hoping she will fail, but watching her this weekend made me have serious reservations about her success.

I had a blast at homecoming this weekend! Above are a few pictures I took. I am working at taking more pictures. For so long I wanted to hide behind the camera, it is strange to be the subject of the camera now! :)

I got to see one my professors this weekend. He was the director of the honors program that I was in at MSU. We talked for about 45 minutes. I was telling him how the honors program really helped make me into a critical thinker. It certainly made me stronger at defending what I believe.

I weighed in at 249.6 today! I have lost 13 pounds this month. I am below 250 pounds!!!! I tried to do well with eating this weekend. Overall, I made pretty good choices. Yes, there were a few things that I could have done without, but I am proud of how I ate overall. Changes in my eating routine are hard for me. I love the predictability of my routine now.

In the pictures I am wearing an XL shirt! I also have a long sleeve t-shirt underneath. It was still not tight! No more XXL shirts for me.

On Friday while working, I sat down in a college type desk, and I FIT! Not only did I fit, there was still a little bit of ROOM too. It really sent a rush through me. I remember working on my two masters degrees, and literally squeezing myself into those seats. I felt like my circulation was being cut off for two and a half hours through class. I would never get up because it was truly a struggle to get out of them. I would wait until most people had left before getting out of them.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I weighed in at 251.2 this morning. I am down another .8 pounds. That makes a total for 11.4 pounds for the month. I would love it if I could leave the 250s before my seventh month post-op report on the 26th. We shall see.

I am so excited about going to Homecoming after work tonight. I should have a great time! I am looking forward to spending time with old friends and catching up. I will have lots of pictures to share. Have to go now, need to finish packing up my protein snacks and clothes for the weekend.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I weighed in at 252 pounds this morning. I am down .6 pounds. That puts me at a 10.6 pounds loss for this month.

Every ounce down is important. It means I am on the path to a healthier me.

When I went into surgery, I had no idea I would be at this point now. I am amazed. I know that the best is yet to come.

I've got to work on packing snacks for Homecoming Weekend. I don't want to be caught off guard, and have to make poor choices. A few things I will be bringing for certain are: beef jerky, peanut butter, protein bars, protein drinks, and nuts. These staples will help to keep me on the right track. I am learning that being prepared really is half the battle.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I had my mom hem two pairs of dress pants for me. They are size 24. I got them two or three weeks ago. I got them back last night (since my mom was hemming them). They are too big. They don't look horrible, but they are certainly too big. I can make them work for probably another four to six weeks.

I tried on the next size down and....

I can wear a size 22!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!I still wear a size 24 in blue jeans. I am on cloud nine over the 22! I have not been a 22 since my freshman year of college. (That was short lived too, because it was because I was taking phen-phen. Before that, I was a 22 in the 8th grade.)

I was rereading through my blog and on August 7th I was working towards getting into a size 26, and now, two months later, I am at a 22!

I am almost out of sizes that begin with a "2". This is so thrilling! Maybe I'll be in an 18 sometime in January!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I weighed in at 252.6 this morning. I am down 10 pounds for this month. I still have ten more days before I am officially 7 months post-op. I have lost 141 pounds in total!!!

Here are my most current stats:

I have lost 35.8% of my overall body weight (from my surgery weight).

I have lost 60.6% of my weight to reach goal.

I have decreased my BMI by 22 points!

I am 61.6 pounds until reaching an "overweight" BMI.

I am 93.6 pounds until my goal!

My vacation is exactly THIRTY days away! I am so ready for it. When we go to Cozumel, they have a Mayan excursion you can take. It is for seven hours, and includes a great deal of walking and climbing. At 393 pounds before surgery, I would have never taken this before. I am so looking forward to doing this!

There was another excursion that involved a "zip line" which I wanted to do. I will do this next time. My weight is still too high for me to feel comfortable doing that. The next time I post a zip line picture you will see ME on it. (Give me another fifty pounds, and I will certainly be doing this!) Does that not look AWESOME???!!!

The other thing this "zip line" makes me think of is "the trolley." The trolley was something we had at 4-H Camp growing up. You had a "seat you sat on, but it is the same idea of the zip line. I went to 4-H Camp for nine years. I was always too big to ride it. I am looking forward to being able to do the zip line in the future. Having surgery was the first step in my life of not letting my weight hold me back (physically and emotionally) from doing things.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I bought a new winter coat today. It is a grey pea coat. I really love it. I bought another pair of dress pants and a nice top. Pictures will be coming soon, but they will have to wait until Wednesday, because my friend Mandi borrowed my digital camera to take on her trip.

Another first for me: I bought underwear from a regular store. This may seem insignificant to some, but the only place I have been able to get underwear the past few years has been Lane Bryant and online. Here is the bigger kicker...I didn't have to buy the biggest size!

Here is the biggest shocker...I bought TWO pairs of HEELS!!! I have not worn heels in twelve years! I used to say it was because of my left ankle (from a break), but I was simply too fat to wear heels. I am going to have to practice in them over the next week or two before I will feel confident enough to wear them out. I got a black and a brown pair.

I am getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow. I gotta start hiding this grey! I am going to go slightly lighter than what my hair is now. I don't want highlights right now because of the maintenance, and I have had a hard time finding someone who does highlights to my satisfaction in the past.

This is a subject that sometimes comes up on the DS board. About a year and a half pre-op, I started having more "sporadic" periods. Six months prior to surgery, my periods stopped completely. I know that the stopping of my periods came from two things: rapid weight gain, and an extremely stressful and intense job situation.

About a week post-op, my periods have returned. They have been regular every since. What I have noticed is that each month, the intensity of my period side effects (stomach cramps and lower back pain) has increased greatly. Last night from 1AM to 3AM, I was in bed doubled over with pain.

Something that I noticed today...going up a flight of stairs does not leave me out of breath. Strangely enough for me, this was WORSE the first several months post-op than it was for me to climb the steps pre-op. I have climbed the stairs several times today, and didn't even give it a second thought that I was already to the top of them. Wow...no effort! It is great to see how the other-half (healthy-normal weight people) live.

Speaking from the kitchen of "normal weight" people. The lady I watch kids for on a regular basis said last night, "The boys forgot about the chocolate cake, it got moldy, so I threw it out." As a SMO person, I would have never thrown the cake out. The cake would never had the opportunity to get moldy. I would have gorged myself on it. Thank heavens I'm not who I was!I have to work everyday to continue to progress forward.

Also, wanted to briefly write about my hospital experience visiting Mallory. When it was my turn to hold her, I had to sit in the rocking chair. I was freaking out that I wouldn't fit. I did fit in the rocking chair! It wasn't even a tight fit. The chair was a "normal" sized chair, not some huge rocking chair. When I was looking at my pictures from that day (see a few posts back), I noticed how defined my face looks. That really blew me away. I could really se the difference in my face. It was a nice feeling.

I am going to have to break down and buy two new pairs of jeans, a few new bras, and a winter coat. I am beyond needing them.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Not too much goint on here. I took my friend Mandi to the airport today. She stayed last night with me. We had a great time talking and catching up. My weight has stayed the same. I am pleased with my progress, but I hope it picks up for the rest of the month. I would love to lose ten pounds this month. I am being really good about the carbs.

I am working some this weekend. I am happy that next weekend I will at my college's homecoming! I have not been back to Morehead in seven years! I know it will be a lot of fun. I will certainly take and post pictures from it!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I got an email from the parent of a former student. The student is now in seventh grade, and I had him as a fourth grader. It was very sweet, talking about his progress in middle school. He thanked me for all my hard work and patience with his son. It really means a lot to me. I worked very hard with his son, and it is nice to be recognized. It is wonderful to know that I made a difference in his life.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

My BMI is officially 40! I am 1/10th of a point away from having an obese BMI! You are going to hear me shouting from the rooftops when I reach that obese BMI! I have lost a total of 21.6 points from my surgery BMI. It is hard to believe that was just a little over six months ago.

I weighed in this morning at 256.6 pounds. I have now lost 138 pounds. I have lost 7 pounds so far for this month.

My goal was to be 255 by my vacation November 16th. Maybe I will lose another 5-10 pounds before then!

Monday, October 8, 2007

I bought two pairs of size 24 dress pants yesterday. They fit great! My mom is hemming them up for me, because they were about two inches too long. I can wear any size 24 dress pant, but for some reason size 24 jeans are still too tight for my comfort level. I guess it is how the fabric is cut different for dress pants.

When you start out at a size 36, being able to wear a size 24 is a huge accomplishment! I can't wait until they are too big!

I've been at the same weight for a little over a week. Although my pattern has started to be: stalling for 2-3 weeks, then rapid weight loss for a week or so, I want to try to change things up. I have decided to go back to the basics for the next week, and see how that affects things.

By the basics I mean: Protein Shakes. I am going to have three shakes a day, and perhaps a few pieces of cheese. I have found protein shakes that I really like. When people try to give the line that they can't stand them, I just don't buy it. This is the information age! Search the world over until you find a drink that tastes great. When you find it, buy it in BULK!

I am blessed by the fact that I still have ZERO hunger. I truly do consider this a blessing. I don't think that switching back to only protein drinks for the next week or so will be that difficult. My friend who had the lapband surgery said the other day that she was glad her appetite was starting to return. I'll be happy if mine decides to stay away for the rest of my days! I fought my appetite and head hunger for too long. Now, I can just fight the head hunger, and not worry about the appetite part.

On a more annoying note, I googled my name, and found myself on my surgeon's home page. I am going to get this fixed ASAP. There are a lot of nosey people out there, and I don't want the world to know my business.

I have always worn skirts that went down to my ankles. These have been a source of comfort for me, because I felt like they "covered" up my enormous frame. As I am losing weight, I want to start wearing things that are somwhat shorter. To be honest, I doubt I'll ever be a girl who wears anything that is shorter than knee length skirt/dress wise. It has taking some time to get to this point. I know I am not at my "goal" weight, but I don't want to wait until my goal weight in order to start wearing cuter clothes.

Another thing that I have been doing is wearing clothes with bolder patterns than I would have previously. I am learning to like trying on different clothes and experimenting. :)

Also....another reason why our nation is so fat. Yesterday I was at Cheddars, which is one of my favorite restaurants. I got the vegetable plate. It comes with four vegetables and a bowl of soup. The reason I got the plate was because it was cheaper than order a bowl of soup and two sides a la carte. When I told the guy I wanted a bowl of soup and two vegetables, he replies, "But it comes with four." I tell him, "I only want two." He persists at trying to give me four, to which I said more firmly, "I only want TWO." Granted, vegetables are not going to make you fat, but why was he so insistent? Some people are great at portion control. I have gotten so much better at this since have surgery. Still, simply having less on my plate is the easiest form of portion control for me. That meant, only having two vegetables as my sides. Why does our country constantly try to force "larger portions" on consumers?

I had to have an ingrown toenail removed from my big toe on my right foot. Those shots they use to numb your toe hurt like no tomorrow. It feels like they are putting the shot right into your bone. I survived, and I hope to be back to my exercise routine tomorrow evening.

I have lost 3.6 pounds this month so far. My weight loss tends to pick up towards the end of the month. I am guessing it has something to do with my period.

I'm at a stall right now. I am maintaining my weight, but no weight loss. I'll take a stall anyday over a gain. I lost a lot of weight last week, so this is pretty natural. It is a slow process, but I am learning to trust my DS.

I would love to lose 15 more pounds before my trip on November 16th. I think it is do-able, but a more reasonable goal would be 10 pounds.

I am so thankful for Netflix and my IPOD. When I am working out, I either watch a DVD or listen to music that I've downloaded from ITUNES. They keep me moving daily! :)

A small wow for me....I was able to lower my steering wheel down a notch. I always had it on the highest notch, so I could get in and out of the car. I lowered it down a notch, and was able to get in and out without any problems.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The scale is up 1.4 pounds today. I am hating this. Once again, there is no reason for it to be up. I am exercising, getting my water in, and eating right. I just hope it doesn't continue to climb up like it did last month when I gained six pounds.

I suspect the biggest reason is that I have lost a lot of weight in a short period of time, and my body is desperate, and tries to cling onto some pounds. STOP CLINGING! I am going to lose this excess weight! I AM! I am determined to do this more than anything else I have done in my life. I will lose all my excess weight!

Monday, October 1, 2007

This past month I have went down 20 inches. (I measured knees, thighs, breasts, hips, waist, arms, and the spare tire I have above my waist.) WOW! I wish that I had been taking measurements all along! Pre-ops please remember to do this! What an encouragement this was, especially since last month was the least amount of weight I had lost post-op.

I went to the tanning bed for the first time today. Lets just say that things have changed greatly since the last time I have gone. There were ten zillion types of beds. The lady was very sweet, but finally I just asked her to put me in a bed, I didn't care what kind. I was only in there for six minutes (since I am so white).

Also today I was in an elevator that said, "Maximum Capacity: 2500 pounds or 16 people." Granted this was a very old elevator. I did the math....That means they are assuming that the average person weighs 156 pounds. Yeah, you can tell this elevator was old. I know, I know, I shouldn't be on the elevator, BUT I had a ton of training materials that I had to get up three flights of stairs.

About Me

I am a 33 year old newlywed, teacher, pastor's wife, and I want to live a more full life. Change IS good!
"I have discovered in life that there are many ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go." - Langston Hughes