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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Because of You, I am me

Recently I was with some family members who were visiting from out
of town. We were going through the book
called The Complete Book of Questions asking each other to pick a number
and then reading the question to have us answer. It was my turn and I picked #973. The question:
Do you think God has ever used
pain and suffering to get your attention?
If so, what was he trying to get across to you?

I hesitated and stumbled through answering the question. Realizing I wasn’t giving this answer justice I
went over and grabbed my worn out fuzzy green journal knowing this would help
explain myself better.

I opened the book and the first page I came to was this…

Not only did you form me, design me, and create me. But you also
chose where I live, what will happen to me, where I will go. And when You planned that, You did, so that I
would find You.

The things that are beautiful in my life, You placed so that I
would seek You. Those moments in my life
that are ugly, You placed so that I would reach out for You. Every detail of my life, You have planned so
that I would find You.

Because of You…I live, because of You…I move, because of You…I am
me. Thank you.

…He
determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should
live. God did this so that men would
seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from
each one of us. For in Him we live and move
and have our being…

Acts 17:
26-28

My experiences form me and create passion
within me, allowing me to be me, to love.

Not Yet

You call
me…

You keep
on calling my name.

I hear
you…

And I
look up, I want to see You.

To be
with You.

My eyes
try to focus on where I think I heard Your voice.

And I
jump up to move towards You.

All
senses are at attention as my body responds to Your call.

I fall…

Pain
shoots through palms.

I look
down…

Scraped
knees and hands,

Blood
drips.

Startled,
my eyes look around me, and I see.

All this
around me, which has always surrounded me.

Every
day, and I was not aware.

It was
hidden…

Anguish
filled souls.

They were
covered…

Scared
hearts.

Pain
thrives.

I listen
and I can hear the cry, utter sadness.

In the
middle of a crowded room filled with chatter.

Empty
eyes behind the laughter.

I look to
You…

And arms
reach up.

“Take me
home please…”

“Not yet”
You reply,

“Help
them.”

With
gentle caress You touch my outreached hands

And I
feel the balm of healing, as I look to Your face with tear filled eyes,

I nod,
Yes Lord. Understanding.

Even God’s love did not achieve its purpose without
suffering. By suffering, God bore our
sins to attain the greatest act of perfect love. We too are able to live a life of love
through our suffering to reflect Christ to others.

Live a
life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered
himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2