cocain addicted help!

Hi
im not very good at explaining things or at English or grammar as you soon will notice, but im going to attempted this anyway as i desperately need the help.

My name is Russell and im 25 from London.
about 2 years ago i started taking C* when i was going to the pub or out with the boys clubbing. I had no addiction to the drug or at least i didn't think so at the time wouldn't even invest a lot of money into it either. As of right now i feel actually i know i have a massive addiction to C*.

About a year ago i ended up getting anxiety really badly and i do blame the drug. i had some sort of full blown anxiety for 6 days, it was so bad i felt like i couldn't move, and dying would of been better then feeling how i did.
After i managed to get over the worst part of the anxiety
i started doing what i enjoyed doing before going out getting drunk as most young men do. I was completely clear of C* for many months because of my anxiety, but once again i was pressured and at the same time i wanted to face my fears and be a stronger person, One of the Biggest mistakes of my life!!!!!!

My position now is, I Get C* every chance i can. every time i get paid (weekly) i spend most of my money on it, every single time now. I tell my self every time your going to feel horrible tomorrow and have no money for the rest of the week untill next pay. but as soon as i have the cash in my hand im ringing the guy for C*. put it this way i have gone trough 2 to 6 Grams of the stuff on my own in a night, it some times makes me sick and sweat out and mong out, but i still dont care at the time.

im going round in circles i own out so much money too my friends and family its sickening im like a ponce now. i have deleted there numbers and my friends numbers who has hes number but one way or another i will get hes number again and ring him for more.

i was never this sort of person i never wanted to do it the first time.
Please who ever reads this if you have some advice or a story you can tell me what might help then please share with me i really need it. im doing this before it becomes to late for me. iv already lost allot. this is my cry for help.

Thank you
Russell.

Last edited by mod85; 02-05-2013 at 10:57 PM.

The following 2 users give hugs of support to: cplruss
firefightermum (03-26-2013),Phoenix (02-12-2013)

ahhh cocaine, the rabbit hole of all drugs.....one snort and you are on your way. 1.4 grams of cocaine snorted in one sitting is dangerously high and you are doing up to 6 grams in a night! You will die of a heart attack or how about making your brain bleed by stroking out. Keep doing what your doing and you will certainly die and death by cocaine is not a very pleasant one either. If you want out do what you have to do.....seek medical help and get anti anxiety medication, go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings (there are many in London). If the fear of death or becoming a vegetable does not phase you then keep tempting fate and keep snorting cocaine.

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lenvegas For This Useful Post:
cplruss (02-07-2013),Phoenix (02-12-2013)

Hi
im not very good at explaining things or at English or grammar as you soon will notice, but im going to attempted this anyway as i desperately need the help.

My name is Russell and im 25 from London.
about 2 years ago i started taking C* when i was going to the pub or out with the boys clubbing. I had no addiction to the drug or at least i didn't think so at the time wouldn't even invest a lot of money into it either. As of right now i feel actually i know i have a massive addiction to C*.

About a year ago i ended up getting anxiety really badly and i do blame the drug. i had some sort of full blown anxiety for 6 days, it was so bad i felt like i couldn't move, and dying would of been better then feeling how i did.
After i managed to get over the worst part of the anxiety
i started doing what i enjoyed doing before going out getting drunk as most young men do. I was completely clear of C* for many months because of my anxiety, but once again i was pressured and at the same time i wanted to face my fears and be a stronger person, One of the Biggest mistakes of my life!!!!!!

My position now is, I Get C* every chance i can. every time i get paid (weekly) i spend most of my money on it, every single time now. I tell my self every time your going to feel horrible tomorrow and have no money for the rest of the week untill next pay. but as soon as i have the cash in my hand im ringing the guy for C*. put it this way i have gone trough 2 to 6 Grams of the stuff on my own in a night, it some times makes me sick and sweat out and mong out, but i still dont care at the time.

im going round in circles i own out so much money too my friends and family its sickening im like a ponce now. i have deleted there numbers and my friends numbers who has hes number but one way or another i will get hes number again and ring him for more.

i was never this sort of person i never wanted to do it the first time.
Please who ever reads this if you have some advice or a story you can tell me what might help then please share with me i really need it. im doing this before it becomes to late for me. iv already lost allot. this is my cry for help.

Hi Russell, first of all, you recognise you have a problem, and when you recognise this, it is the first step of many that you are going to have to make until you eventually get the help and support you need. I am a mom of a 28 year old recovering cocaine addict.... she has been in recovery since October and believe me the last I posted on here I thought one day I would be posting about her death!!!!! she had been addicted for ten long years so I have lots of experience of seeing what cocaine does not only to the addict but their family, friends, job, health, looks, finances, etc etc etc... Cocaine takes over your mind body and soul, and my daughter has had to move away from the area, I had to ask her to leave last October because I couldnt cope anymore and certainly could not watch her pushing the self destruct button any longer. You have to turn your back on your using friends, change your mobile number, move area if you have to, find your non using friends, hang out with them, and be very careful of your alcohol intake, because this leads to the cocaine when your guard is down. Cocaine plays major mind games, and thats why you say you want to stop but every time you get paid, you go and buy some more of the devils candy... I had to manage my daughters finances, give her pocket money and make sure she had no bank/credit cards..... go and see your GP, and certainly go to a clinc, seek counselling and support, you used cocaine alone with no assistance from anyone, this journey into recovery will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but believe me, dont give your whole life up to the white powder, your life is worth living and whilst you use, your not living... Sending big hugs and be strong. xx