I know many of you, my readers, my family, my colleagues and my caring friends are hurting. Take your time. Mourn, ache, protest, do whatever it is you need to do.

Then when you get through this, I encourage you to remember the last eight years. Remember the voices that called Obama, a man I never voted for, a monster, a beast, the antichrist, whatever else. Then forgive them. Break the pattern.

Not for one moment do you need to respect or condone the actions of anyone who threatens the health and safety of our Muslim, Gay or Female friends or partners. Not for a moment, not for a breath, not for any reason. Nor should you emulate their past actions.

If we descend into the same cycle of hate and villain-raising, we will create through resistance the very era we wish to end. It is because I believe in your capacity for love, empathy and the deep care you’ve shown each other, that with humility and a focus on the suffering in our nation, that we can help each other.

You probably aren’t ready for it – or at least you won’t follow through on what it takes to achieve it. It’s a struggle for me and I’ve been at it for 11 years. Here you go:

Do this:

Resonate with the player emotionally

Spark their intrigue with a challenge

Release them and reward for investment

Repeat

That’s it. Practice doing this as deeply and as thought provokingly as you can, over and over again, and you’ll eventually achieve a great game. Increase the reach (who) or depth (what) of your craft, brutally, repeatedly, relentlessly. That’s it.

This may seem strange, but after watching the stress my friend’s family went through looking for his will and not finding it, I hereby choose to place mine in a public place to be easily found. If you haven’t put one together, do so now. It won’t take you long, then have a friend sign it.

Finances:

All of my financial holdings should be divided up according to the % distributed specified and on record at my financial manager, Tom’s office. Tom has my father’s contact information and will reach out to him or my brother Jason within a week of my death.

All private savings plans contain negligible amounts of cash and all of them list my brother Jason to act as executor of the funds.

Repayment of Debt:

All of my major debts have already been repaid as of the writing of this document.

In the situation where I perish without a specific contingency plan for any businesses or organization, all cash holdings will first have the pending month’s wages deducted and paid accordingly. Then any remaining assets will divided equally between all employees, who may then collectively elect to continue the project or not. If there’s a stock plan, then holdings should be distributed according to those percentages instead.

Material Possessions:

I have gotten rid of the majority of my physical possessions already. My clothes should be donated to a local chapter of the Salvation Army or donated directly to the homeless of Burbank or Pasadena. Items of personal interest can be given to family members first, then friends.

As of the writing of this document, my material possessions are in the storage unit of my friend Rayna Trickett. Nothing there is of remarkable value, an online auction should be held and the proceeds donated to the Cass Rawat charity foundation. My car is in the possession of Michael Maindl, who also possesses the title and instructions to take ownership of the vehicle if another party who identity he knows declines to take ownership of it.

My sister retains first right to claim any specific anime or video game items she wants. All of the items available for transfer on my Steam and Humble Bundle accounts should be distributed via lottery to my twitter followers (@xelnath).

Remains:

As a registered organ donor in the state of California, handle that as expected. Despite Jason Wishnov’s best intentions, I am declining his proposition that I join him in being decapitated and cryogenically suspended.

Any additional remains should be cremated. If I managed to make it to all seven continents before I die, please dump the remaining ashes in the Pacific, ideally somewhere between French Polynesia and the Cook Islands. If I did not, please scatter my ashes anywhere on continental Antarctica. I elect either my youngest daughter or my brother Jason to complete this mission in my stead.

Memorial Ceremony & Outreach:

Most of my life has been spent connecting with and relating with the people and players of my titles online. Two small, outdoor memorials should be held open to the public, one in LA for my friends and connections there and another wherever is convenient for those who have to handle my affairs.
Please post an announcement for the memorial to all of my social media accounts with the following request for favorite stories and memories not about me but about someone else they met in their lives or an experience they had developing or playing games I’d been blessed to work on. These should be collected via my public email address (xelnath@xelnath.com).

The ceremony should be held 1 or 2 weeks after the notice given, such that people who wish to attend have the chance to

At the ceremony, I would like no religious observance, preferring instead for an hour outside, accompanied by jazz like the kind from Season 1, Episode 15 of Star Trek: TNG. If this seems absurd, that’s exactly the point. Funerals are selfish things; the purpose is for those touched and left behind to share and connect. My wishes mean little, but endure them anyways please. Make it a comfortable place to share, relax and cry. Feelings were a constant struggle for me, but so it is. Please read the following:

“Funerals are selfish things. This one is dedicated to you, the ones who came, that you can experience the feelings you aren’t sure how to feel. To endure the moments in the future that suddenly seem strange or uncertain. Feel sadness if you need it. Feel anger if you need it. Feel disgust if you need it. Feel joy if you need it. Feel lust for ogling that unexpectedly attractive person who showed up if you need it.

Experience all of these feelings and in turn your mind will feel what it needs to feel and heal in the ways it needs to heal. Know the emotions come in waves and sometimes the worst times are when you think you needed to feel something, but didn’t feel anything. That’s okay, you’re okay, everything is fine. Just be the version of you that you need right now. Then be the person you need to be tomorrow too – or even the day after.

I will never know the version of me that you saw in your own eyes – and you will probably never know the version of you that I saw in mine… but perhaps, sharing now, in this moment, through grief, joy, humor or nostalgia, you’ll find someone else who understands a part of you a bit better. Perhaps, though, you’ll remember that you’re still human and deeply lost feelings rise again to the surface. Perhaps, you’ll be even 1% better at understanding what another person is going through around you right now. This sliver and moment of empathy is a brilliant and beautiful thing. Embrace it.

In my world, I only succeeded two times: when I created an experience that brought my players and audience joy; when one of my colleagues smiled one day and told me gratefully thank you for helping her – and that she’d asked me to handle it because I was good with people. The latter was – and is – an eternally difficult and challenging trial for me and will continue to be the greatest challenge of my life.

If something that happens today helps you be kind to even one other person for one moment in life, it was a death worth dying.

Thank you for coming. Please embrace and comfort those who need your support around you.

Then go grab a drink, listen to some Jazz and be ridiculous for an evening.”

Internationally

During my travels, I made many friends far and abroad. Please notify them by using WhatsApp and the remainder of my unlimited text and data plan to send whatever thoughts they’d like to have shared. Please don’t forget them; particularly the awesome Aussies, Austrians and Albanians who gave me an incredible amount of cheers and hospitality during my travels.

Relationships

All of my exes are welcome to speak or attend. I apologize now in advance for everything that I did after this message… and about half of the stuff I did before. I’m sure the other half was at least 20% you and 20% the situation. Blame the rest on me 😛

Dad, you abandoned me in the desert of the Grand Canyon for hours. That was a pretty dick move for having been decent for the 33 years beforehand.

Jonathan and Ariana – your family is beautiful and you guys are kind. Be equally as nice to the people less fortunate than you.

Jason – thank you for being reliable. You’re kinder than people think – and they already think you’re kind. Please stop saying mean things to sound tougher. This isn’t a crime syndicate.

Grandma Ray – you were an inspiration to my entire life. Thank you for teaching me the value of entrepreneurship.

Friends

David Zheng – thanks for setting me right so many times.

Michael Erin – thank you for helping an egotistical kid when he needed help.

Tom Cadwell – thank you for being the hero I needed – and the human being you actually were.

Jerry Prochazka – thank you for being blunt – and for the introduction to the people you thought were worthwhile and respect-worthy. I will miss our life-planning chats.

Colt Hallum – thank you for having faith in me even when others told you you couldn’t handle it. You made a world of difference.

Emily Ozer – thank you for being my guide to Europe and bold enough to set me straight about the realities of modern travel!

To Ashleigh, CMac and Stephen, please meet up and having a 40 in my memory, you dirty alcoholics. 🙂

To the kid who came to Blizzard from Alaska with his Dad and went out of his way to mail me a hat with a Salmon and a Polar Bear – thank you – and I’m sorry I never wore it, but hats just aren’t my thing. I hope you found your path back to the land of snow.

To the Totino’s Pizza Kid from the Irvine Game Stop who messages me incessantly on steam, I’m glad you finally took the time to get into development and hope you always find your way back to your passion.

To everyone else, I stopped here because I was feeling lazy and wanted to get back on with my life. Hope you’ll forgive me.

Thank you for a wonderful life,

Alexander Brazie

aka, Xelnath

(P.S. Zerglinator, I am leaving you personally responsible for making sure this gets retweeted/faceblogged/whatever is cool when I pass away, cuz you’re worth more than you know and more than you believe of yourself. )

ALRIGHT, enough of this ridiculousness. If you’re a lawyer and there’s something important I should have included here, leave a comment and I’ll fix this document next week.