Today was supposed to be our move day. I managed to get us another week though I’m not sure if that is just merely putting off the ugliness that could be or an actual grace period. I’m hoping for the grace period, though there is so much in front of us that requires cash to take care of that it is feeling more like just putting off the ugliness.

We picked up a RV off of Craigslist. We did a trade: one day of work with both of us for the RV. It’s a 1979 Dodge Country Camper, 25 feet long. I’m not sure if it has the 360 or the 440, but I’m pretty certain it is the 1 ton chassis instead of the 1-1/2 ton. It seems to run very well, starts right up, but it has a caliper sticking, meaning it is not road worthy, at the moment.

It also has been leaking through the roof, but we are handling that. Tore off the old ceiling as much as possible, removed old ceiling insulation, replaced some framing, and caulked the inside of any roof penetrations along with any other little pin holes or whatever in the metal roof. Today, we will put in new insulation and close up the ceiling. Next, remove all of the old caulking from the roof and re-caulk. Hoping to get to that today, as well. A new snow coat on the roof would be great, and is needed, but that is just going to have to wait for now since we do not have the funding to pick up snow coat.

I called Les Schwab yesterday to find out how much a brake job would be on the RV. Les Schwab does not do just the brakes on RVs. They do an overhaul: rotors, calipers, drums, and pads. Well, crap. That’s a base price of $1500. The guy at Les Schwab said to call around to see if there is someone who is willing to either just do the caliper and brakes. I should be able to find someone, probably for cheaper, according to the guy at Les Schwab. Fingers crossed, though, at the moment, it doesn’t matter how much is would cost with someone else. It most definitely will be more than the $20 I have to my name.

Lance has some work prospects but they all seem to be scheduled for a week or two from now. It’s great that the work is sitting there but we need something great, a few something greats, to come in asap. Now, if I could only clone my husband so he could go work and I would have his clone here to help me with the rest of everything. I need to find a tire for our travel trailer, post the 5th wheel and Marv on Craigslist, put a bunch of things on the curb to get rid of, flush out the holding tanks, take things to donation station, pack up garden, cleaning, and tool sheds…the list goes on. We, obviously, have rooted down here but I guess that is to be expected after 4+ years.

We have no idea where we are moving to, as in we have no landing spot. I know we are planning on heading up north toward where Lance tends to do all of his work, but, as far as where we are parking our ‘camp,’ we have no idea. I guess we will have to just be mobile for a minute while we are figuring out that part. I know it seems as if we should have had this all figured out already, but we don’t, and there are a lot of reasons why that is, though it doesn’t change the feeling.

Moving ‘camp’ is a process, and when your income is…not necessarily verifiable or fixed, it makes it hard to find someone to want to rent to you. Also, we both tend to work and live in such a way that doesn’t create a paper trail. It’s not an intentional goal, just the way the things have turned out. Unfortunately, this makes things challenging, as well. We just don’t live within the system that society has established, which has about a gajillion benefits and almost as many deficits.

I have to admit that I am having the ‘run’ bug, again. A whole lot of me just wants to hop in the RV and just keep driving. Anywhere but here. I do understand this is not really a feasible plan for us, at this time, if for no other reason than the funding part. My kids are grown, both out on their own, now – I have nothing holding me here in Washington. Yes, some great friends, soul friends, but most of our interactions are through the phone in one form or another. I think we will be ok. The idea of being so far away from my kids is heartbreaking, anxiety causing, especially with my son just starting his ‘on his own’ adventure, but I have to learn to let them just be adults, figure out some of their own messes. Ugh. I know it’s a good thing but how does one let go of their children? How does one stop feeling like they must be no more than a few hours drive away just in case a rescue mission is needed? How am I supposed to stop running below their soaring souls just in case they fall? The answer? One breath at a time, which isn’t necessarily easy.

I’ve also withdrawn from school. I’m ashamed in some ways to say so. I just couldn’t manage this move and school at the same time. Call me weak if you need to but that is yours, not mine. I have the ability to go back once we get settled, but we shall see how that goes. Something had to give and it was the only thing I could see. I didn’t want to, was severely depressed for about 3-ish days, then had to let it go. I have a lot in front of me that needs my attention.

Well, it’s already 8:30, so I had better get going with the RV ceiling. Hopefully, I’ll find someone to come fix the caliper on it for not tons of money and I’ll find the money to pay for it, to register the RV, to put gas in it, to move on down the road.