Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

As of today, the Red Sox and the Rangers are tied for the AL Wild Card lead. ("Uh-huh, and...?") St. Louis catcher Jason LaRue got a hit off of Billingsley in the ninth inning, and pinch-hitter Joe Thurston doubled down the right field line to set up the top of the Cardinals' lineup. (Y'all following this?)

Then the Mets did something, the Cubs did something, and I began to zone out, wishing I had some Twizzlers and thinking how dumb it is that LOST has such a long hiatus.

But I'm aware that many folks are rabid baseball fans, so today's post is for you! (See? I do care.)

I've often thought the game could use a little girling up. I mean, why don't they use giant roses for bases? Or incorporate a little pink and robin's egg blue? Next time you're at a game, be sure to ask.

Also be sure to suggest - loudly and to anyone in earshot - that the whole diamond setup is stupid. Wonky ovals are way better.

Now flag down the sweaty guy with the tray o' beers, fork over your seven dollars for another one, and check out the pop fly ball that's heading straight for your head. In your inebriated state, it might look something like this:

Fortunately, though, anyone who's recently suffered a stunning blow to the head qualifies as an honorary Wreckerator! So quick, before your senses return, decorate a cake!

Excellent. I particularly like the random "w" - or is that a sideways 3?

I just hope that the players at Wonky Oval Stadium remember to tag 13th base before the run home. Also, I don't think letting a chicken walk through blood and step all over your cake is a sanitary decorating technique.

I'm sure this will have been pointed out by the time my comment appears, but on the last cake where's the 2? Or is the lack of ability to count to three while not excluding two just further proof of the wreckerator's head trauma? (OK, maybe it's under the label. Maybe. But then again probably not.)

As a baseball fan I want to thank you for today's post.

Word verification: crath, which is how the wreckerator with a concussion now says "craft"

And the groundskeeper for that field on the second cake has clearly given up in oh, so many ways. First, there's that wonky "diamond", and those brown patches indicate that he's been neglecting the turf. Also, there's only two somewhat randomly-placed bases on the field (I'm assuming that's what those two mysterious white patches in front of the "3" and under the "Y" are).

What I'd like to know is, where are the fugly cricket cakes? Doesn't this sport deserve to be commemmorated in a like fashion? Or do wreckerators only reside in the US? I like to think they can wreckerate just as well in metric!

I suppose you have given up on folks substituting "your" for "you're". It is only 'your' out if you made/own it, the umpire is actually yelling (announcing) 'you're out' as in you are out of here.I love your blog!

Some of these cakes make a compelling argument for the devolution of the human race. People are obviously losing their ability to use tools, like an icing bag! Back to the caves, all! Last one to grab a man by the hair and drag him into the cave loses! *snatches up several goth boys and starts sprinting*

no, srsly. Either bakeries don't want to pay halfway decent wages, so they hire bottom of the barrel people, or the hiring managers are taking hard drugs before doing interviews. My brain hurts!

VW: hallyte

Leave the hallyte on at night, please. There are monsters in the dark.

How can there be a baseball post without mention of the unassisted TRIPLE PLAY to end the Phillies-Mets game yesterday??

W or 3 makes more sense than IN but I also saw IN and just assumed they started to write "inning" and got bored... "W" would equal a win for someone... "3" could be their favorite baseball player (or the age of the wreckorater)... but "IN" ... i dunno...

I guess people really will NEVER learn to read the previous comments before posting their ideas. I saw "in" instead of a W or a 3 too, but after reading only FOUR comments down, I realized it had already been said.

*tapping fingers*...waiting for the obligatory "Don't make fun of a serious issue" post, which in this case would be about Brain Injury. But it's okay to make fun of cakes that appear to be decorated by people with no brains at all?!?Where does one draw the line (assuming one CAN draw a line)...Hey, I'm just in a down mood, and it's all because of Kevin. You only become a "YAY, I'm a teenager!" once...just ONCE. And look at that dismal mess he gets to celebrate with. It's so horribly sad! Someone needs to leave that cake out in the rain. =^@@^=

So I take it that you are more concerned with the wording of the LABEL than the fact that they want only $14.97 for the cake? Don't you know a DEAL when you see one? MAN! I don't care if it's beer batter or beer cream frosting or what--I'd even throw in an extra 3 cents and make it an even 15 bucks for THAT baby!I mean, LOOK at it.(And whatta you mean, "Your eyesight must suck, too"?)

Being a semi-rabid baseball fan (it's hard to be rabid when you've got the Royals for the home team) I looked at the last cake and took the W to mean WALK. Although the cake is so seriously offensive that it could mean waltz or window or almost any word that may or may not have anything to do with baseball.

actually, If you look under the words Play ball, there is a little line which I am guessing is supposed to be a one; then the opposite corner has the words Strike two, so I think it is indeed, a sideways three, signifying three strikes, "Your Out"

I love love love the first one with the rosey bases, and the baseball that is precisely the same size as those rose-budesque bases.

In high school gym we had to play some game with a giant ball 3-4 feet in diameter where we scooted around on the floor loke crabs to kick it. I'm thinking on that rose decorated diamond they may need to adopt a new posture to move those giant baseballs. And maybe forget about using the bats. Lily

Um, some advice on baseball terminology in the opening of your post: you don't use the term "clinched" a playoff spot until it would be mathematically impossible (given the number of remaining games in the season) for you NOT to make the playoffs. Red Sox merely have "sole possession of the Wild Card lead" as of today.

*The season never fricking ends.*It messes up traffic on my way home from work.*I like to refer to the "points" to annoy the people who continuously remind me that they are actually "runs."*Sometimes during the games, nothing seems to be going on and it gets REALLY boring.*Apparently when nothing happens for a really long time it means I should be excited about the "great pitching."*Apparently I still know more than some of these Wreckerators!

The wonky stitched baseball came out of the super-clearance sports store at the outlets near my house. Super-stitched for extended play. (Three seams one way and two the other-that's one secure cover my friends.)WV - Ebenthf Ninth, tenth, ebenthf, twelvethf. (Happened to get stung by a bee while awarding prizes)

What about elbows that are severly bruised? Does that qualify?My family and I were playing baseball and our theme this year was the greatest baseball rivalry. That caused the teams to be the Yankees and Red Socks.In the process of this nine inning game, some spectacular saves and injuries were shown on the Yankee side but, the Red Socks kicked some major and won by over fifteen points.

@ Katrina:We're on the same page! In other words, I also find baseball to be a colossal bore. How unAmerican is that?! Still, it's fun to ask questions like, "So, when the teams switch places, why don't the 'innings' become 'outings'?" Or, "Those uniforms make them look fat." :PAnd I'll never get this: Why DO baseball players SPIT so much? It's gross! (Eeww) All golfers do is hit balls with sticks, too, but you don't see THEM spitting all over the place! Football players have cuter butts, and they can't spit because of the face guards. So there! =^--^=

The "wonky oval" kinda looks like a Christian car-fish with the tail lopped off, no?

(and shame, Jen. You should want both Boston and Texas to collapse so Tampa gets back in the playoffs. They're the closest thing to a "home team" we got, so we must root root root for 'em, as per the song)

Okay, I'm gonna have to go against the grain on this but I'm pretty sure the "IN" is actually a "3" and I bet there's a 2 hiding behind the price sticker. I mean, the whole theme is "Strike 1,2,3...Your Out!" So, I don't see how "IN" would make any sense here. Regardless, it's a pretty amazing cake for $14.97.

In cake three, the baseballs look like they have bloody tendrils. Why? No one can say for sure. But it reminded me of a '50's movie titled "The Crawling Eye" (also known a "The Trollenburg Terror".) It was featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000, of beloved memory.

The cake is funnier than the movie but the MST version was funnier than either.

The first one looks very much like a more abstract version of the life preserver breastfeeding cake. Like someone saw the first cake without knowing what it was and described it over the phone to someone else.

Unless my depth perception fails me, the bloody chicken footprint ball is actually one of the giant cookies that has been smothered in icing. I am starting to feel like these are gaining ground on the dreaded CCC.

How about the size ratio of giant balls to tiny pink bases on the girly cake? Is someone overcompensating? Did anyone notice the giant pile of poo in the lower right corner of the girly field? Now I know girls won't play ball in a poo infested field. They do have standards.

Yup, the comment board is absolutely infested with knonles (and if you know what a knonle is, you were also hanging out on HPANA about 3 or 4 years ago...). 3, W, "in", whatever. Baseball makes very little sense anyway, although admittedly still slightly more than cricket. Slightly. *twitches at 'your' instead of 'you're'*

WV: triso - The sad thing about some wreckerators is that they triso hard...

I personally love that the baseball is really a basketball designed to LOOK like a baseball. (I'm not a sports nut. In fact, I don't know when ANY sports season is in--except for maybe skiing and that awesome-to-watch outdoors lumberjack tournament.)

To many posts to read, but the "W" could be a reference to the Cubs. When they win fan's traditionally fly a White flag with a blue "W" on it, plus they fly the flags at Wrigley Field also. NOT that I condone that cake in any way, shape, or form...but it gives a possible meaning to the random "W"

Could the pink & blue diamond cake be in honor of the breast cancer and prostate cancer days at the games? They use pink bats on the BC days and blue ones on the PC days. It's a nice gesture, but the cake is still a disaster!!

I think that random 'W' is supposed to say 'in' but I'm not exactly positive that it's an actual baseball term. Like "You're in!" Right? Instead of "You're out!" I'm sorry, but even when I type this it still sounds normal in my head.....

The stitches DO look like a chicken stepped in something red (paint? blood?) and walked across the cake. or maybe it was an attempt at flight patterns with directional arrows. Has this decorator never SEEN a baseball?

also, 3 v. W v. "in." I thought it said "in." If it was supposed to be a 3, why is it sideways? If it's supposed to be an "in" what the heck does that mean? it's "out" or "safe"! Again, these decorators need to brush up on their sports. And I don't mean airbrush!

Gotta love that wonky oval. where the heck are the bases? There's only 2. Cracked icing, baby blue trim. It looks like the batter is getting ready to defend himself in a tousle on the golf course! Nice how they wrote Birthday write over the base and Kevin's name straddles the base line/curve.

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