Douglas Wells

Douglas Wells was born in Seattle, Washington. His father was an officer in the U.S. Army, and by the time Douglas finished high school he had lived in Hawaii, North Carolina, Texas, Okinawa, South Carolina, Alabama, and Florida. He earned his B.A. and M.A. in English from the University of South Florida and has taught English and Literature at several colleges.

Douglas has a unique interest in and perspective on the comical and absurd foibles of the human race, which inspires his writing. The imaginative pillar of his novel, The Secrets of All Secrets, released by TouchPoint Press on May 12, 2017, is built on Groucho Marx’s line, “Humor is reason gone mad” and the Roman poet Juvenal’s declaration that “It is difficult not to write satire.”

Douglas is a Professor of English at Gulf Coast State College in Panama City, Florida. He is the father of two grown sons, and he lives with his wife and cat in Panama City Beach.​

The Secrets of All Secrets

Satirical Fiction

Zane, a seminary and grad school dropout, obtains a USB drive left by a cloaked figure on a bridge in the middle of the night. Zane opens it, and a message offers him The Secrets of All Secrets. Such an offer is tantalizing, and Zane has nothing left to lose. The USB directs Zane to Florida where he encounters poor waitress Dali, who received an identical USB. Initially clashing, they band together, taking a chance that The Secrets are genuine as they receive more instructions from the USBs.

Four oddball government operatives, an extremely tall corporate executive with an extremely short, scholarly hit man in tow, and two crackbrained, fringe-element, anti-government separatists are after The Secrets, and are all willing to kill to get them. Zane, Dali, and their pursuers encounter an armadillo festival, visit a nudist resort, and hang out with a presumed dead 60s rocker. Pandemonium occurs at each venue, with Zane and Dali one step ahead of everyone until all parties convene for a climactic confrontation over The Secrets.

The Secrets of All Secrets is an uproarious jab at government, corporate, and fanatical entities and a wild, comedic ride that ridicules the lust for supremacy.​