At the theatre, I did meet her
And the show was whimsical and sublime
I'm in tatters! Nothing matters
'Til I grasp her big disaster like a mime

She's got the squeegee on the Ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can tease me anytime, it's not a crime

In the first act, there was a jester
With an apple and a mango and some wine
He flung the ice cube... he was so rude!
And he jousted with a flaming hoffy dog

She's got the squeegee on the Ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can tease me anytime, i's not a crime

In the courtyard, there was a large cube of lard with decorations all around.
There was a bandit. We couldn't stand it. He was sniffing the cube like a hound.
She's got the squeegee on the Ouija. She can squeeze me. She can please me anytime.
Don't disease me. Don't you sneeze me, oh yeah!

Beck made his first appearance on KCRW back in July, 1993. (This would become a regular stop for many years, whenever he had an album to promote.) This time though, "Loser" had just started to become a big hit and they were instrumental in breaking the song.

The DJ interviewed Beck and he played a few songs. In fact, "Whimsical Actress" was a request by the DJ, who said the song had been on a tape given to KCRW personnel and was a standout. (MUST FIND A COPY OF THIS TAPE. ANYONE?)

Beck calls the song a "flight of whimsy," and it somewhat reminds me of something like "Nitemare Hippy Girl," a character portrait of a girl, with hilarious rhymes (Ouija / squeeze me / sneeze me) and I guess a description of the weird play she was in.

And even more entertainingly, Beck sings the song in an appropriately whimsical way, with an exaggerated falsetto. This is a great, obscure Beck classic that never was.