How To Grow a Duck Dynasty Beard

by Larry Hehn on April 11, 2013

Ever since I decided, 75 days ago, to grow a Duck Dynasty beard, new and exciting things have been happening.

I’ve been referred to as Moses, Santa, and Grizzly Adams. I’ve had my own mother say, “Eww…you’re not going to keep growing that, are you?” I’ve discovered that egg yolks stick really well to facial hair.

And I’ve noticed a modest shift in traffic to my blog.

Over the past month, 8 of the top 13 search queries that led people to this site had something to do with Duck Dynasty. The most popular one was “how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard”.

With that in mind, I knew I had to do what any savvy blogger would do:

Justify it by offering readers a solution to a current problem, so it doesn’t look like I’ve completely sold out.

Beard, Day 74

So, although my own Duck Dynasty beard is still a work in progress (great beards are measured in years and months, not weeks and days), it is my pleasure to share the keys I have learned over the past several weeks about how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard:

Avoid shaving.

Repeat Step 1.

Sorry if you were expecting something more complicated.

But as Phil Robertson once said when asked how long he had been growing his beard, “I ain’t growing it. It’s doing that on its own.”

Words of wisdom.

Results may vary depending on your genetics and hormone levels, but this isn’t rocket science, folks. You can’t force or rush a Duck Dynasty beard.

You just have to let it happen.

It can go against every fiber of our being, but sometimes the best thing you can do to help something grow, is get out of its way.

Good question, Rob. I’m always a little leery of products that claim to promote hair growth. Especially at my age, when I have enough trouble with hair starting to grow in places I really don’t want it.

Definitely a great way to bring in traffic. I had Googled “Duck Dynasty Beard” and it brought me here. I tried growing one during quarantine and after a month of egg yolk sticking to it, I decided to start ignoring step 1 and 2. 🙂