Romance and adventure in the Middle East.

Like most dickhead millennials, we knew almost nothing about Tel Aviv before we landed there. We’d heard that it was a bustling cosmopolitan hub in the Middle East, there were rumours of a killer live music scene, I’d discovered through work that there were a lot of hot technology start-ups flourishing there… but, on the whole, we were pretty bloody clueless. On the one hand, this was great, because it meant that we were pleasantly surprised at every turn. On the other, I think it’s a bit of a bummer that kids like us with a taste for adventure might not know the rewards they’ll reap for making the sojourn to Israel’s second largest city.

I’m not going to give you a list of historical sites and tourists attractions – you can find those lists all over the Internet. These are the little things, the wonderful and unexpected details that make Tel Aviv well worth a visit.

(1) Everyone has a dog.

Literally, everyone! Dogs of all shapes, sizes, colours, and ages. There are dogs on leashes going for walks, dogs snoozing at their owners’ feet in cafes, dogs running rampant in off-leash dog parks… just dogs galore! If you’re a dog lover, like me, this is excellent news. Dog watching > people watching, in my opinion.

Cat lovers: things might be a little trickier for you. There are just as many – if not, more – cats in Tel Aviv, but most of them appear to be strays. They pop out of every corner, they stalk the top of every fence, and snooze in every patch of sun. It’s no wonder that we didn’t see a single rodent for the entire trip! Still, you never know with strays, so we kept a wide berth.

(2) Pride.

This one really took us by surprise: the LGBTIQ community is very, very openly celebrated in Tel Aviv. There were pride flags everywhere, they covered every surface not already plastered with Israeli flags. It’s certainly not what you’d expect from a country so steeped in conservative religion that the busses don’t run on saturdays.

(3) The secondhand bookstores are amazing!

This might not be a draw-card for everyone, but my new husband and I are renowned book-rats. We can sniff out a secondhand bookstore at a distance of 100 yards, and happily spend hours trawling through dusty shelves looking for discarded gold. We hit pay dirt on our very first day in Tel Aviv, stumbling across an amazing bookseller in our quest for a public bathroom. Our favourite was definitely the Little Prince Bookstore/Cafe/Bar: we find our God in an establishment where we can read, caffeinate and booze on all at once.

(4) The Israelis are generous pourers.

Now, let’s be clear: I’m a Queenslander by birth, my husband is a bartender, and we’re both tortured artists. Our “standard” drink at home tends towards the heavy side. And, yet, the Israelis still managed to blow us away! We didn’t see a single nip pourer the entire time we were there, and no one serving us really seemed to give a shit if we stumbled home. The drinks might seem expensive (probably comparable to Australia, really, but if you’re used to travelling in South East Asia or similar, you might be taken aback) – but damn, you won’t need many of them. Keep your wits about you, people!

(5) Everything comes with many, many condiments.

How many can you count? Standard meal for two in Tel Aviv!

The Israelis have their condiments and sides on fucking lockdown, folks: they know how to do it right! Everything, even breakfast, will come with at least one side salad, and at least three condiments. Hummus, variations on hummus, tuna-mayonnaise, tahini, crème fraîche, cream cheese, you name it! I am a condiment whore from long ago, and I’ve managed to lure my new husband into the lifestyle, so we were in absolute heaven. The tables get pretty crowded when a meal for two comes on six plates, but it’s worth it.

(6) The graffiti and street signs are hilarious!

I actually have a bit of a knack for finding graffiti that makes me laugh and think and cry and rage, in every city I visit. Tel Aviv was no exception, and in fact it was more forthcoming than most! My personal favourite was the very poignant “God Is Homeless”, spray painted onto the side of a synagogue. There were also many instances of hilarious Hebrew-to-English translation (such as the “DANGER OF DEATH!” signs on every electricity pole). If you dig this shit, like me, Tel Aviv is the ever-giving tree, and your Instagram feed will flood with the content you can find on every street.

(7) We felt right at home.

It didn’t take long. Neither of us are early-birds, and we found ourselves in this amazing city that doesn’t really wake up until around 10AM. There were artists, queer couples, dogs, drunks, musicians, vegans and hippies everywhere we went – exactly the crowd that we would run with back home. Sure, there were cultural differences and language barriers and learning curves to work through, but we loved every one of them. We found ourselves in bars with makeshift ashtrays made out of coasters, regulars who may as well have been staff, music – familiar and unfamiliar – that we loved, and we felt immediately at home. Israel is a lot of work in many regards, but we settled into Tel Aviv like a pig in shit.

12 Comments

First of all, I don’t know much about Tel Aviv other than a bit my friend who used to live there has told me. I am surprised and happy to know Pride is a big thing there. That makes me happy. Also always a huge fan of second hand bookstores! I find these everywhere I go cause I love them!

Pride really took us by surprise – we figured that a deeply religious country would be very conservative and alienate the community. I can happily report that’s not the case at all! 🙂 And if you ever find yourself in Tel Aviv, you MUST check out the Little Prince bookstore/cafe/bar – it’s was a highlight of our trip!

Those things about Tel Aviv are great. Especially the LGBTIQ scene, I think that’s amazing because Israel still is quite religious (look at their government…). You’re right, in Jerusalem you won’t see any signs of LGBTIQ because it’s too dangerous for them, there was a gay pride there and some religious idiot killed a lesbian girl…
Anyway, even though those 7 things are great, I don’t manage to like Tel Aviv – even though I’ve tried (I’m still trying actually). My boyfriend is from there and he’s taken me all over but I’m so used to (and in love with) historical cities, I simply don’t see the charm of Tel Aviv.

I read an article just the other day about how pride in Jerusalem is (slowly, slowly) starting to emerge. I’ve got my fingers crossed that the positivity and acceptance of Tel Aviv spreads throughout the rest of Israel 🙂 So sorry to hear that Tel Aviv hasn’t stolen your heart, though! Are there any other parts of Israel that take your fancy?? Different strokes for different folks, of course 😉 Hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind too much!

I really enjoyed reading this. it bought back so many great memories of my trip there. I had forgotten about the getting up late culture. When I left that was a hard one for me to shake and get back to normal. Love your list, so funny 😀