JW: I told you someone left Alex a message. There can’t be that many Professor Cairns in the book. Come on.

[ Jupiter, the fifth planet in our solar system, and the largest. Jupiter is a gas giant. Planet Earth would fit into it 11 times.]

C: Yes, we know that.

[Titan is the largest moon]

C: Come on, Neptune.

[ Many are actually long dead]

C: Tom, is that you?

[ exploded into supernovas. Discovered by Urbain Le Verrier in 1846, composed mainly of hydrogen. Their light takes so long to reach us many are actually long dead. Exploded into ]

SH: Golem. Ican’t see him.

JW: I’ll go round.

SH: Who are you working for, Dzundza?

[ A star begins as a collapsing ball of material composed mainly of]

JW: Golem. Let him go or I will kill you.

{ The fourth planet of the solar system named after the Roman God of War. It is a gas giant. Takes so long to reach us,,,into supernovas. Exploded into supernovas.}

SH: It’s a fake. It has to be.

W: That painting has been subjected to every test known to science.

SH: It’s a very good fake, then. You know about this, don’t you? This is you, isn’t it?

W: Inspector, my time is being wasted. Would you mind showing yourself and your friends out?

SH: The painting is a fake. It’s a fake, that’s why Woodbridge and Cairns were killed. Oh, come on. Proving it’s just a detail. The painting is a fake. I’ve solved it. I’ve figured it out. It’s a fake, that’s the answer, that’s why they were killed. OK, I’ll prove it. Give me time, Will you give me time?

{10}L: It’s a kid. Oh, God ,it’s a kid.

JW: What did he say?

[9] SH: He’s giving me time.

L: Jesus.

SH: It’s a fake, but how can Iprove it? How? How?

[8] SH: This kid will die. Tell me why the painting is a fake. Tell me.

[7] SH: No, shut up. Don’t say anything. It only works if Ifigure it out. It must be possible. It must be staring me in the face.

[6] SH: How? Woodbridge knew, but how?

[5] JW: It’s speeding up. Sherlock.

[4] SH: Oh, In the Planetarium. You heard it too. Oh, thatis brilliant. That is gorgeous.

[3] L: What’s brilliant? What is ?

SH: This is beautiful.

[2] L: Sherlock.

SH: The Van Buren Supernova.

[ Please, is somebody there? Somebody help me.]

SH: There you go, Go and find out where he is and pick him up. Van Buren Supernova, so called. Exploding star. Only appeared in the sky in 1858.

JW: So how could it have been painted in the 1640s? Oh, Sherlock?

[MH: My patience is wearing thin.]

SH: You know, it’s interesting. Bohemian stationery, an assassin named after a Prague legend, and you, Miss Wenceslas. This whole case has a distinctly Czech feeling about it. Is that where this leads? What are we looking at, inspector?

L: Well, criminal conspiracy, fraud, accessory after the fact, at the very least. The murder of the old woman, all the peoplein the flat

W: I didn’t know anything about that. All those things, please believe me. I just wanted my share. The 30 million. I found a little old man in Argentina. Agenius, Imean, really., brushwork, immaculate. Could fool anyone. Well, nearly anyone. But Ididn’t know how to go about convincing the world the picture was genuine. It was just an idea. A spark which he blew into a flame.

SH: Who?

W: I don’t know. It’s true. It took a long time ,but eventually Iwas put in touch with people., his people. Well, there was never any real contact. Just messages, whispers.

SH: And did those whispers have a name?

W: Moriarty.

JW: So, this is where West was found?

M: Yeah. Are you going to be long?

JW: I might be.

M: Are you the police, then?

JW: Sort of.

M: I hate them.

JW: The police?

M: No, jumpers. People who chuck themselves in front of trains. Selfish bastards.

JW: Well, that’s one way of looking at it.

M: I mean it. It’s all right for them. It’s over in a split second, strawberry jam all over the line. What about the drivers.? They’ve got to live with it. Haven’t they?

JW: Yeah, speaking of strawberry jam. There’s no blood on the line. Has it been cleaned off?

M: No, there wasn’t that much.

JW: You said his head was smashed in.

M: It was, but there wasn’t much blood.

JW: OK.

M: Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. Just give us a shout when you’re off.

JW: Right. So Andrew West got on the train somewhere. Or did he? There was no ticket on the body. How did he end up here?

SH: The points.

JW: Yes.

SH: I knew you’d get there eventually. West wasn’t killed here, that’s why there was so little blood.

JW: How long have you been following me?

SH: Since the start. You don’t think I’d give up on a case like this. Just to spite my brother, do you? Come on, we’ve got a bit of burglary to do.

SH: Missile defence plans haven’t left the country otherwise Mycroft’s people would have heard about it. Despite what people think, we do still have a secret service.

JW: Yeah, Iknow, I’ve met them.

SH: Which means whoever stole the memory stick can’t sell it or doesn’t know what to do with it. My money’s on the latter. We’re here.

JW: Where? Sherlock what if there’s someone in?

SH: There isn’t.

JW: Jesus. Where are we?

SH: Oh, sorry, didn’t Isay? Joe Harrison’s flat.

JW: Joe?

SH: Brother of West’s fiancé. He stole the memory stick, killed his prospective brother in law.

JW: Then why did he do it?

SH: Let’s ask him.

JW: Don’t. Don’t.

J: He wasn’t meant to. What’s Lucy gonna say? Jesus.

JW: Why did you kill him?

J: It was an accident. Iswear it was.

SH: But stealing the plans for the missile defence program wasn’t an accident, was it?

J: Istarted dealing drugs. I mean, the bike thing’s a great cover, right? I don’t know how it started. I justgot out of my depth. Iowned people thousands. Serious people. Then at Westie’s engagement do, he starts talking about his job. I mean, usually, he’s so careful. But, that night, after a few pints, he really opened up. He told me about these missile plans. Beyond top secret. He showed me the memory stick. He waved it in front of me. You hear about these things getting lost. Ending up on rubbish tips and what not. But there it was. And Ithought. Well, I thought it could be worth a fortune. It was pretty easy to get the thing off him, he was so plastered. Next time Isaw him, I could tell by the look on his face that he knew.

[ J: What are you doing here? WE: What have you done with the plans?]

JW: What happened?

J: I was going to call an ambulance, but it was too late. I just didn’t have a clue what to do. So I dragged him in there. I just sat in the dark, thinking.

SH: When a neat little idea popped into your head.

Carrying Andrew way away from here. His body would have gone on for ages if the train hadn’t hit a stretch of track with curves.

JW: And points.

SH: Exactly,

JW: Do you still have it, then, the memory stick?

SH: Fetch it for me, if you wouldn’t mind. Distraction over, the game continues.

JW: Maybe that’s over, too. We’ve heard nothing from the bomber.

SH: Five pips, remember, John. It’s a countdown, We’ve only had four.

SH: No, no, no. Course he’s not the boy’s father. Look at the turn ups on his jeans.

JW: Iknew it was dangerous.

SH; Hm?

JW: Getting you into crap telly.

SH: Not a patch on Connie Prince.

JW: Have you given Mycroft the memory stick yet?

SH: Yep, He was over the moon. Threatened me with a knighthood, again.

JW: You know, I’m still waiting.

SH: Hm?

JW: For you to admit that a little knowledge of the solar system and you’d have cleared up the fake painting a lot quicker.

SH: It didn’t do you any good, did it?

JW: No, but I’m not the world’s only consulting detective.

SH: True.

JW: I won’t be in for tea. I’m going to Sarah’s. There’s still some of that risotto left in the fridge. Milk, we need milk.

SH: I’ll get some.

JW: Really?

SH: Really.

JW: And some beans, then?

Found the Bruce-Partington plans. Please collect. The pool, Midnight.]

SH: Bought you a little getting-to-know-you present. That’s what it’s all been for, isn’t it? All you little puzzles making me dance. All to distract me from this.

JW: Evening. This is a turn-up, isn’t it, Sherlock?

SH: John, What the hell?

JW: Bet you never saw this coming. What would you like me to make him say next? Gottle o’gear, gottle o’gear.

SH: Stop it.

JW: Nice touch this.

SH: This pool. Where little Carl dies. I stopped him, I can stop John Watson, too.

JW: Stop his heart.

SH: Who are you?

JM: I gave you my number. I thought you might call. Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

SH: Both.

JM: Jim Moriarty, Hi.

SH: Jim?

JM: Jim from the hospital? Oh, did Ireally make such a fleeting impression? But then, Isuppose that was rather the point. Don’t be silly. Someone else is holding the rifle. I don’t like getting my hands dirty. I’ve given you a glimpse, Sherlock, Just a teensy glimpseof what I’ve got going on out there in the big bad world. I’m a specialist, you see. Like you.

SH: Dear Jim…please will you fix it for me to get rid of my lover’s nasty sister? Dear Jim, please will you fix it for me to disappear to South American?

JM: Just so.

SH: Consulting criminal. Brilliant.

JM: Isn’t it? No one ever gets to me. And no one ever will.

SH: I did.

JM: You’ve come the closest. Now you’re in my way.

SH: Thank you.

JM: Didn’t mean it as a compliment.

SH: Yes, you did.

JM: Yeah, OK, I did. But the flirting’s over. Sherlock. Daddy’s had enough now. I’ve shown you what Ican do. Icut loose all those people, all those little problems even 30 million quid, just to get you to come out and play. So, take this as a friendly warning, my dear. Back off. Although Ihave loved this. This little game of ours. Playing Jim from IT, playing gay. Did you like the little touch with the underwear?

JW: If you sniper pulls that trigger, Mr, Moriarty, then we both go up.

JM: Isn’t he sweat? Ican see why you like having him around. But then, people do get so sentimental about their pets. They’re so touchingly loyal. But oops. You’ve rather shown your hand there, Dr, Watson. Gotcha. Westwood. Do you know what happens if you don’t leave me alone, Sherlock? To you?

JM: But we both know that’s not quite true. Well, I’d better be off. So nice to have had a proper chat.

SH: What if Iwas to shoot you now? right now?

JM: Then you could cherish the look of surprise on my face. Cos, I’d be surprised. Sherlock. Really, Iwould. And just a teensy bit disappointed. And of course, you wouldn’t be able to cherish it for very long. Ciao, Sherlock Holmes.

JW: You ripping my clothes off in a darkness swimming pool. People might talk.

SH: They do little else.

JW: Oh.

JM: Sorry, boys. I’m so changeable. It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself it is my only weakness. You can’t be allowed to continue. You just can’t. I would try to convince you. But everything Ihave to say has already crossed your mind.