I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

When
I was a child I found a lot of money lying around the house in a box at home. There was so much money there that I thought nobody would miss one of the crisp twenties that festooned this vessel, so I took one and ran out of the house……This was 1982, so £20 seemed like a fortune in those days, especially as a six year old. Now how to spend my new found wealth….hmm I have a cunning plan I thought, I’ll go to the shops at the top of the road and spend it all on sweets. In reality this was a terrible idea but I didn’t let logic get in the way of this genius plan. So I put on my boots and hat, grabbed my pet dog and made the short journey to the nearest shop.

The shop at the top of the hill I lived on was a big red building and on entering I was greeted by the shopkeeper who looked a bit taken a back at how young I was, never the less he asked how he could help. I asked the shopkeeper for twenty quids worth of cough candy and other different assortments of sugary goodness. He looked a little concerned that one so young had twenty pounds in the first place and enquired whether I had the money to pay for all this stuff. Quick as a flash I proudly whipped at the crisp twenty and placed it on the counter, rather than accept the note he slowly walked up to the phone and this is what he said –

‘Is that Mr. Arrow, great because your son has raided your monopoly set again, could you come and pick him up please!?’

I do hope that the shopkeep and your dad
had special, bright red telephones, for just such an occasion. if your dad then dressed as Barman to pick you up, so much the better.
(monster munchPutting the lump in lumpenproletariat, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:25,
closed)

£20 worth of sweets in 1982?
That would have been insane. All I can think of is 400 packets of polos.
(Edenmonsteris still bored, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:07,
closed)

A friend of mine tried this with a real 10
The shop was half a block from his home. His mum came and dragged him home by the ear. He wasn't allowed to play with me after that.
(the other guynot the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:46,
closed)