The Most Expensive Cocktail in Lagos

FOLLY: This isn't a place that we'd normally review but Nosa and I are making a concerted effort to review more things with a focus on the drinks.

NOSA: And they've tagged us in multiple Instagram pictures so #mineswell

FOLLY: Yeah, so the terrace bar the new Filmhouse cinema in Lekki presented the perfect opportunity.

NOSA: For disclosure purposes, we know the owner of this place. It's the main reason why I was hesitant to review them in the first place. I'm not trying to ruin any friendship over a review and I'm not interested in a any accusations of bias.

The tragic Caipirinha

FOLLY: We started chicken wings, a Caipirinha (mine) and Long Island (Nosa's).

Between ourselves, we had four drinks (technically three) because I really wanted to be able to give a comprehensive review.

NOSA: ...we also had to try their incredibly expensive mojito for the culture.

FOLLY: The first Caipirinha (pictured above) I got was absolutely tragic.

NOSA: Folly got someone fired over this, but we'll get to that later.

FOLLY: Let's start with the obvious, the glass was absolutely wrong as it's supposed to be served in a short glass. Secondly, that mint doesn't belong there. And finally and most importantly, a Caipirinha without lemon cannot even be called a Caipirinha cause that's the entire premise of the drink. It's like Jollof rice without tomatoes.

Replacement Caipirinha

FOLLY: I asked for my drink to be replaced because it wasn't what I ordered. The replacement was almost near perfect, and I'll give it a solid 8/10 with a little bit more lemon and less sugar it'll have been perfect.

I also eventually found out that it wasn't a bartender that made my original drink which explains the disaster.

NOSA: Then she snitched to the owner when he came to see us. The owner proceeded to fire the guy who made her terrible drink. Like, right there. In front of us. Apparently, the guy had been walking a thin line for some time and this was the final straw. But yeah, this is all Folly's fault.

FOLLY: You have the situation all mixed up.He didn't fire the guy that made my drink, that was the bar hand. He fired the waiter that I said was good and then I asked him why he fired the good guy, and he's like nah he's really not that good and he was tired.

Were you even paying any attention?

NOSA: My Long Island tasted like penicillin. I've never tasted penicillin, but I'm pretty sure this is what it tastes like. A Long Island is supposed to be strong, I get that. But I don't understand why Lagos waiters feel they aren't doing their work if it doesn't taste like a tall glass of self hate. Maybe I'm the one with the problem and I don't know what a Long Island should taste like. Either way, this one is not for me. It's probably not for you too, but you can find that out for yourself.

FOLLY: For the chicken wings, the menu had two options, peppered and honey glazed. I went with honey glazed because I wasn't particularly craving obe din din.

NOSA: I was fully expecting the guy to tell us the honey glazed wings weren't available, but they were, quelle surprise.

FOLLY: This was the wrong type of chicken to use for chicken wings as it was hard chicken aka broiler chicken.

NOSA: ...aka Crossfit Chickens aka I-Bench-225-For-Reps Chickens.

FOLLY: I'm not exaggerating when I say cutting this was both a finger and arm workout.

NOSA: You know that little joint at the top of your fingers? You'll probably sprain it if you eat a lot of these. I don't know why they don't give you a steak knife when they serve you these local content chickens.

FOLLY: LMAO "local content".

NOSA: I got the Pulled Turkey Sandwich as a main. Now, there was nothing "pulled" about the turkey. More turkey strips, if anything. That said, this was absolutely delicious. The bun was incredibly soft and the turkey was full of so much flavor. I got it with a side of coleslaw so I dumped a whole bunch of coleslaw in it, which took it to another level. The chef should definitely talk to me about this. There's so much we can do with this sandwich.

FOLLY: The most interesting part of this review is the fact that this humble bar in Lekki Phase One has the single most expensive cocktail in Lagos. It's not Maison Fahrenheit, not Eko Hotel, not RSVP.

FOLLY: I doubt, both RSVP and Hard Rock tap out at N4,000 and 4,500 but The Terrace takes it all the way to N4,800

FOLLY: It was a nice drink and had all the makings of a strawberry mojito but for N4,800, come off it.

NOSA: Four thousand and eight hundred Nigerian naira for a mojito.

FOLLY: Yes, I understand that strawberries are expensive but Roadster used fresh strawberries in this margarita and it wasn't as expensive.

NOSA: I don't even want fresh strawberries if I'm paying this much. You can use the frozen ones, I can manage.

NOSA: On the other hand, because it's so expensive, there's no way you're drinking more than a glass so you aren't going to get jedi-jedi. Let's look at the bright side, eh?

FOLLY: That sediment you see in the picture above, that's settled sugar.

POSTSRCIPT

NOSA: I probably won't be coming here too often if I'm being very honest. The food is ok, but the drinks don't justify the prices. Maybe during AFRIFF, when Ojukokoro is running, I'll give it another shot

FOLLY: LOL did you just plug in an ad? Anyway, it's just the strawberry mojito that's exorbitantly priced. The Caipirinha and Long Island iced tea were N2500 each and that isn't too pricey.