Monday, 15 February 2016

Looked back at my past posts...and why I am keeping them all up

I was skimming through my past blogs, see how I used to be, and how I am now.Its interesting to see how you yourself go through, seeing what you have had on your mind, how you reacted, and how you were, and how you are now. It makes you see what you been feeling, what mattered to you, what you were passionate about, and what has happened since then.

I see the past me ( after getting over depression and fighting to create change ) as a man who was passionate about making a change, who would push myself, even with what was going on with me at the time, not able to really speak much since a part of me was still depressed, but still able and willing and had the desire to step out and make an impact in some way. Sure, during that time I got pretty upset, I got emotional, but that is what comes with trying to make a big positive change in schools and stuff, a big positive change in general really. I came pretty close to making a change in schools where I am, except I was blocked by schools for doing so ( even though the trustees of the school board liked it, but wanted a demonstration ). I was hurt when I felt like I was pretty much blocked off from making a difference, but I realized later that I did. I made people at town hall meetings and with my blog realize what was going on, and started to speak against it, in a way, made people see what was really happening.

Later on, I started to lose focus on what I was doing, and started to aim more to just being with someone, and reaching out for a job, most times not even related to what I desire. I became a bit more stuck in the thought that it's time to move on, when my heart was telling me to keep going. I watched a video that really got me thinking ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4Ko32D5ALw ), that I need to continue down that path that I was on, to build myself up, push myself even more. There are many paths towards the same goal that I am trying to aim for, my next step in life is to go to university in social work. That way I can be working in schools, or somewhere where I can continue to make a difference. It maybe a longer path, but it is what my heart wants the most, what I want the most.

I am keeping the past posts up because it shows how a guy who been through so much, and has fought for something, what that kind of person goes through. It also shows signs of how schools and community places and stuff seem to really see the community when someone really wants to make a difference in the world. It is more of a sign that things do need to change. I believe that if you feel strongly for something, that you share it, show it, express it as much as you can, any way that you can, especially if its something like creating a positive change in people's lives. There will always be some stuff you may feel should not be said, but never block yourself from expressing that though in some way. The more we hide our true feelings, the more we lose who we really are, and what really matters to us.