If anyone can be forgiven for not knowing that Lance Armstrong won his seven Tour de France trophies partly with drug-aided superhuman strength, it's his children, to whom he was understandably a hero and beyond reproach. The second part of Armstrong's much-hyped interview contained few notable moments—it being less of a schadenfreude-fest than the first, "notability" depended on your stamina for and interest in Lance Armstrong looking sad—but one window into Armstrong's soul came when he discussed what it was like to tell his children that he had used PEDs. Those children, 11-year old twins Isabelle and Grace and in particular 13-year old Luke Armstrong, had been vigorous defenders of their father.

Our long national nightmare is over. Lance Armstrong's pre-recorded interview with Oprah just…
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Lance described Luke as having been "remarkably calm and mature about this," something that cannot be said for everyone that Lance duped. At other times he said losing his sponsorships was his "most humbling moment" (as opposed to, say, being universally derided as a sociopath), noted that he's been in therapy for years, and complained about being banned permanently from competing in officially sanctioned triathlons and marathons. Scintillating stuff.

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This concludes the Lance Armstrong Variety Three Hours; Oprah has confirmed him to be a broken man and he can now fade into obscurity for a while, bubbling up occasionally to stand trial for fraud. See you then, Lance.