Infertility sucks but I’m thankful for the journey

I’m a Gen X-er. I’m not sure how much that has to do with my personality and lifestyle choices, but I’m going with it. Like many women of my generation, I was told and always believed that I could “have it all” – the high-power career, the family, the picket fence, you get my drift. As a young adult, I completely focused on my career (and social life), firmly believing that I would have time for a family later when I was good and ready. It wasn’t until I got married at age 30 that I began thinking seriously about having a baby. Despite my well-crafted plan and timeline, it turned out not to be as easy as I thought. We were facing infertility. The doctors told me and my husband that the only way we would be able to conceive would be through IVF (in-vitro fertilization). We were devastated.

Anyone who has been through infertility knows that the process is emotionally draining, to say the least. Not to mention the financial drain (which is HUGE). Your entire life is consumed – I’m talking every single waking moment- with your medications (so many needles!), your strict meds schedule, doctor appointments and, most of all, the fear of all of it not working. My husband and I didn’t speak of anything else for months unless it had to do with creating that embryo. We threw a pity party for ourselves every day there wasn’t a baby in our arms. Although we certainly didn’t feel it during the process, we were lucky parents. Through IVF, we were able to conceive a beautiful, healthy baby boy.

According to Resolve.org, approximately 1 in 8 couples face infertility of some kind. Infertility sucks. It can leave you feeling alone and lost. It can leave you feeling jealous of your friend’s families and happiness. It can strain your relationships -not just with your spouse/partner, but with every person in your life. It can leave you bankrupt, emotionally and financially. And most of all, it can leave you hopeless.

After my journey to a baby was complete, I felt a calling to help other would-be parents find their way to having a baby. I began working at a law firm that assisted intended parents with the legal aspect of Assisted Reproductive Technology.

Since Indiana has long been considered to be a state unfriendly to surrogacy, I was surprised to find that surrogacy has been happening in Indiana for many years and the state has established legal precedent that is very conducive to successful gestational surrogacy arrangements.

We helped couples and families navigate the complicated world of surrogacy, embryo adoption, and egg/sperm donation and were privileged to see many of them ultimately fulfill their dreams of becoming parents. It was beautiful. There is now nothing more rewarding to me than seeing someone become a parent, even if – especially if – the road to get there was difficult.

After helping families navigate assisted reproductive technology and surrogacy from the legal perspective, I found my true calling. I want to fill the service gap for matching gestational surrogates with individuals and couples to help them achieve their dream of becoming parents.

Today I’m thankful for that broken road that has led me not only to parenthood, but to a life calling to help others in their journey and help give hope back where it has been lost.