December 2011

Earlier today, area girlfriend Lisa Miller mused about a thought that has been at the back of her mind for quite some time: she could, probably, do better than her current boyfriend. “Back when we started dating in 2009, I knew he wasn’t great,” said the 23 year-old Miller. “But I also figured that he […] Read more

Following a failed sixth-month courtship of a coworker, Gary Jamison found himself placed in the dreaded “friend zone.” This designation, used for men who find themselves serving as close friends but never considered for romantic reasons, has been applied to Jamison by 26 year-old Jessica McMahon. Jamison was introduced to McMahon when his superior assigned […] Read more

A goal must be difficult, yet achievable–and for that reason, Doc Sadler, head basketball coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers, has stated that his only goal for this season is to make sure the team doesn’t cost him his job. “I’m not kidding around with any team accomplishments this year, because we all know this team […] Read more

After spending nearly the entire week celebrating Coach Krzyzewski’s record-breaking 903rd victory, many Duke fans began to reminisce about the old days when the coach used to yell brutal obscenities at every single person on the basketball court. “It didn’t matter who we were playing or who was in the stands. Coach K used to […] Read more

If I was a betting man, and I definitely am, I’d bet that idiot Kansas City Chiefs head coach Todd Haley will get fired in January. The guy couldn’t coach his way out of a fucking paper bag. He’s a hack. He even makes Andy Reid look like he knows what he’s doing. Though if […] Read more

Donald Freuber was just a normal man before Saturday evening. But on that night, Freuber decided to pay for sexual services, a crime in his home state of Nebraska, and a move that forced him to run for Senate. Donald was forced to run for senate after finding that politics seems to be the only […] Read more

Jerry Sandusky, disgraced former assistant football coach at Penn State University, is not allowed to work with children pending charges he molested at least a dozen individuals. Sandusky met the alleged victims through his Second Mile foundation, an athletic organization which provides at-risk youth with positive role models. But luckily for one under-served group, Sandusky’s […] Read more

The Willow Springs sandlot was commissioned by the Lincoln City Council in 1948 as an area for local schoolchildren to play and pass the time after school. Members of the local community have recently begun a petition for the removal of the site, as it seems to have outlived its usefulness to the surrounding neighborhoods. […] Read more