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It’s time once again to venture into the search terms and see what unusual requests and innocuous Googles brought people to us. Here are the requests that made us scratch out heads in confusion, either because they make no sense or because it makes no sense that they would lead folks to us.

Bjørn Frilund, a Norwegian fisherman, caught a fish. Inside that fish was a vibrator.

“Fish eat all kinds of different things,” he told The Local. “And the dildo looks like what the fish eat. We have a kind of multi-coloured octopus in Norway, maybe the cod thought this was one of these and ate it.”

What was the vibrator doing in the water in the first place? More importantly, what have we done to deserve this amazing story? If we do more of it, will we hear about a lion who adopts a blow-up doll and raises it as his own?

Sometimes, you want to watch porn, but you can’t because your church tells you that it’s wrong. What a bummer. Luckily, an ingenious Mormon invented “bubbling” – covering pictures of girls in bikinis with a pattern of circles that obscures their clothing, so that you can better imagine them naked. Thanks, technicality!

A new comedy video has taken bubbling a step further, using bubbling to turn innocent situations into smut. It’s not porn, but it’s still probably NSFW.

Looking for a place to put all your extra money? Why not invest in dick pics? Rock That Cock, an app that will let you dress up your dick pics with costumes and fancy backgrounds, is currently raising money on Indiegogo.

From their fundraising page:

“In the world we live in, dick pics may be a lot of things — classless, stupid, offensive — but one thing is for sure, they aren’t going anywhere. We may not be able to stop dick pics from happening, but we believe we can (and therefore must) make them way more hilarious.”

Do you cosplay? If you don’t you’re about to want to. If you do, you’ll probably want to step up your game. Our new BFF Ron Miller just posted many 70′s cosplay pictures, from his personal collection, to io9. They are glorious (and mostly NSFW).

If you’ll excuse us, we have to go track down some wings, scales, and sequined undergarments.

Pornhub Insights, you’ve done it again! The tube site responsible for the porn-related infographics that fill our lives with joy sent Digg charts of their most popular search terms by city, and it did not disappoint.

We were a little surprised to see that “massage” was the overall most popular search term – although who doesn’t like to get rubbed down?

One of Hawaii’s most popular search terms is “Hawaii.” High self esteem!

Remember when you were young, when drawing a dick on something was a tiny act of rebellion? You may have had to take algebra, but you were sure as shit going to draw a dick on your spiral notebook in whiteout pen. Ah, the salad days.

One dude just took that to an extreme. When his wife bought a whiteboard, he decided to draw a different penis on it every day for a year. The results are actually really impressive: a Godzilla penis destroying a city, works of art with penises subbed in (like Birth of Penis, above), studies in perspective, images from myth, history, and the Bible, lots of animals and foods with additional dicks, and so on. It’s well worth watching the slideshow, with the fair warning that the images do get violent after a while. Lots of dis-(I’m sorry)-memberment.

Ever wonder what Emily Post would say about your sexual exploits? Our readers have sexual etiquette suggestions (inspired by Sarah Sloane‘s excellent sexual etiquette article) that will make you the best-mannered partner you can be!

On Preparedness

“Practice basic hygiene: take a shower, brush your teeth and smell good before sex.”

“Abstain from eating beans and other flatulence-producing foods for 24 hours prior to sex. If caught off guard by gas, give your partner(s) fair warning.”

“Always have a few clean hand towels within reach for an easy clean up. Waiting until you’re in the moment/afterwards to find one makes for a good mood killer.”

“New relationship, new toys.”

“Always bring extra batteries.”

On Safety

“I like to bring more than one type of male condom, to let him choose his preference (although I’d prefer he already have his own condom of choice on-hand).”

“Always bring gloves (nitrile to accommodate latex sensitivity or allergy!) and ask about your partner’s/s’ comfort and preference with gloves.”

“Always ask your partner about condom material before it is time. Nothing like being told they react to latex when it is time to put it on.”

“Never ever re-use a condom!!!”

On Communication

“Don’t always expect your partner to be the one to initiate. Be proactive!”

“Ask first! Converse about what you each dig before going at it.”

“Be open to what your partner wants, and do not judge.”

“Always ask before doing anything new or potentially invasive.”

“Don’t mention someone’s ex or family members.”

“Discuss sleeping arrangements after threesomes prior to the actual threesome!”

On Doin’ It

“It’s okay to be a little selfish in the moment, but when the moment is over and you’ve gotten what you need, don’t forget there is another person to please.”

“No T.V.! (Unless it’s porn, that’s okay.)”

“After 5 spanks to the ass, switch cheeks.”

“Relax and enjoy the inherent hilarity of sex. Laugh about the squelching noise that can come from p-in-v sex. Take a breather and acknowledge the ridiculousness when someone’s limb hits the other in the face.

“Remember that the journey is the destination. Not all sex requires an orgasm, nor does an orgasm signal the end of play time.”

“Don’t overreact to a queef. They can’t be helped, damn!”

On Ending the Evening

“In the event that he has come on someone’s face, a true gentleman will assist in washing it off once the tryst has been concluded.”

“Offer your guest(s) a nice hot bath or shower after all of the action.”

“A dirty toy makes for a dirty user… clean up after yourself!”

“Always say thank you for the nice time, even if it wasn’t as nice as you wanted it to be.”