In the days when I used to trip over geeky pick-up lines, I came across one that really cracked me up. It goes something like this: a�?Is your name Wi-Fi a��coz I am feeling a connection.a�? In my head I wondered what if the repartee had been: a�?No, I am Bluetooth. And I dona��t think your device is up for pairing!a�?
Cheesy lines apart, that was the first time, I gave Wi-Fi some deep thought. I figured the word was invented in 1999 by Interbrand when a bunch of nerds wanted a catchier equivalent for a�?IEEE 802.11b Direct Sequencea��. Wi-Fi was a play on Hi-Fi and ita��s a fine example of how some deft naming has made our world a hipper place.
Talking of hip nomenclature, it might help to cast a lazy eye on your neighbourhood wireless networks. I can assure you that it can be a neat source of levity. Imagine the sheer pleasure of discovering a a�?Mi-fi, Not Your-Fia�� instead of a bland network-operator name. Imagine if the Ambi Mama next door labels his network as a�?Wi Believe I Can Fia��, wona��t you see him very differently?
Being inventive is a pre-requisite for nerds. Which is why on the Internet, youa��ll discover many genres of wicked Wi-Fi names. Here are a few samplers to get you initiated:
An IT administrator once chose a�?Hack If You Cana�� as the network name. He was stumped, the very next day, when he discovered someone had changed it to a�?Challenge Accepteda��. Another online story is pretty legendary. A mother, not exactly known to be facile with her mobile phone, kept bugging her son by constantly asking him a�?which network is ours?a�� The son solved the problem once for all by christening it as a�?Use This One Moma��.
The ones I like more are programmed to piss-off pesky neighbours who wish to leech off your bandwidth. a�?No Free Wi-Fi For Youa��, a�?Screw Youa��, a�?Get Your Own Damned Interneta��, a�?YourNotWelcomea��, a�?FBI Surveillancea�� and a�?I Read Your Emailsa�� are telling examples of this sub-genre.
The best name award should perhaps be shared by a�?Pretty Fly For A Wi-Fia��, a�?TellYourWifiLoveHera�� and a�?The Promised LANa��. But my personal favourite is a coffee shopa��s moniker. It says: a�?Buy Another Cup You Cheapskatea��. How cool is that!