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Social Entropy++: AWESOME POST in "Fashion: Sometimes, a Dude's Gotta Look Like a Pair of Uggs&

We are not glorious. We are not profound. We are not of an exalted beauty. If these words strike at the heart with great wounding than perhaps they speak to a dark truth. For many of the fashion articles in this very thread they conjure ideas of elegance & style. But there are some of us who contain neither and would only look out of place in their adoption. A nice suit looks nice on John Hamm, you are not John Hamm. I am not John Hamm. These are harsh facts which we must embrace and drink in. This fashion article will examine a particular fashion technique which may serve our kind in a more meaningful way.

The Peacock Technique
“verb: To dress in flashy or outlandish clothing to attract women. The term itself, originating at UNC School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, comes from peacocks in nature who "shake their tail feathers" to attract mates.”

The peacock technique is a fashion maneuver focused on drawing all that wackiness and silliness from inside you to draw some mates. Animalistic features, neon colors, awful accessories are all used in building a collective image screaming, “FUCKING LOOK AT ME!” And they will look at you and they will talk about you. The peacock technique is a door opener and ice breaker all wrapped into one. You aren’t going to get any gold stars for brilliant imagery but you will be the item of discussion. So let us take a few steps down into a narcissist’s wet dream and transform you from prince into pixie.

Colors
“Electric flesh-arrows... traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.” -- Anais Nin

The first instrument in rebuilding your body into a temple is color. Already discussed to a degree in some of the other articles, they have some fair points but I will address more specific issues. Firstly you want to avoid any fancy or classy colors. Blacks, slivers, navy blues. All of them are to be avoided as they make you look like you just finished a workday at the law firm. This is a bad thing. You will fall into the background and meld with all the other classy gents. So what works? Anything that almost immediately blinds the eyes is a solid point of criteria. Neon colors tend to do the trick fairly well but for a more traditional look an all cream colored outfit will make you look like the Colonel. Color clashes can also be useful as they’ll disorient those around you.

Solidity & Layers
“Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep” -- Carl Sandburg

This is a complex question for a complex issue. Naturally one would jump at the solidity of a uniform, as to inspire memories of space travelers or the Olympics but this can backfire. Solidity is valuable in its ridiculousness but sadly reveals far too much of your humble form. Sweat, leaks, spills and anything else will be clearly visible. That pizza stain is going to be haunting you all evening. This is where layers comes in as you can hide beyond them. They also allow for more clashes of color and pockets for you to store crazy accessories. In addition layers allow for flashier move in a presentation or dance.

Animalism
“Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all.” – Aristotle

For those wholly committed to the peacock technique adopting the form or guise of an animal is the highest achievement. Nothing draws attention like wearing a suit modeled after a tiger. You will haunt people’s minds with your simple gestures & walking. But one should be advised that when aiming for such a dedicated maneuver insight is always prudent. There should be a reason in your decision of which animal to dress like as merely throwing together an outfit of any creature of the wild shows carelessness. For a fierce night, be a fierce animal.

Accessories
“At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends' and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They're like an accessory.” Jessica Simpson

Accessories are useful just like any tool and that is the idea to remember. Accessories ranging from goofy hats or stupid ties are only as good as your ability to utilize them. Every tool should serve a purpose and ultimately, with enough luck, act as a traveling circus of your body for others. Avoidance should be paid to any accessory which demands constant attention from you. A hat is useful unless it always falls off or into your eyes. Ideally an accessory should also lay easy enough on your person as to allow you to have access to both hands.

Tommy2Hands on April 2011

From the Desk of the Democratically-Elected Pharaoh-President of the Shadowrelam of Egypt