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Month: July 2017

The last thing any Ivy League school wants is a masculine male wandering around the campus.

This is the era of the sensitive, submissive, weakling. And at Princeton, enlightened administrators are acting to make sure no latent John Wayne types get loose.

Yes, Princeton is hiring something called an Interpersonal Violence Clinician and Men’s Engagement Manager. On the surface, the university appears to be determined to prevent stalking and rape. But I think the real goal is to eliminate what some of the Princeton folks are calling “toxic masculinity.”

I’m not sure what toxic masculinity is and since I’m a man, I’m probably disqualified from defining it. After all, I think guys like John Wayne act the way men are supposed to act.

But I believe I can provide a service that Princeton has yet to recognize it needs – help with rooting out toxic femininity. The university isn’t hiring someone to work on that, so I recommend restrictions on coeds that can eliminate offensive behavior:

No makeup.

Hair may be no longer than six inches.

Hair must be its natural color and may not be altered in any way. (If it is straight you can’t make it curly; if it is curly you can’t make it straight.)

Eyebrows may not be tweezed.

Nose hairs may not be trimmed.

Armpits may not be shaved.

Legs may not be shaved.

No high heels.

No skin shown below the collarbone or above the knee.

No winking, smiling or giggling when in the presence of men.

I assume Princeton and its female students would have no problem with any of these rules, as they would help to discourage toxic masculinity through the reduction of toxic femininity. This will make the campus less threatening to some – and more boring for all.

It is that dangerous season, the height of summer when the recurrent threat to civilization rears its ugly head.

I speak not of ISIS, biological terrorism, nuclear war or global warming. No. I speak of the outbreak of unlicensed, unregulated, uninspected businesses that strike fear in the hearts of regulators and bureaucrats.

Across the nation, these threats to health and safety spring up on city streets, suburban roads and even innocent rural paths. The criminals who staff them may look innocent, but they are scofflaws with no respect for the will of the nanny state that issues permissions for the sun to rise and set.

Make no mistake, this danger cannot be allowed to stand.

But stand it does, as in lemonade stand. Yes, I’m talking the summer lemonade stand, typically staffed by boys and girls in the age range of 4-10.

These insurgent enterprises pop up like dandelions in my lawn, charging undercutting prices of 25 cents for a class of lemonade, sometimes with the tantalizing offer of a free cookie thrown in to further undermine the will of the governing elite.

It gets worse. Often the proceeds from these stands can total several dollar, with taxes and FICA withholding surreptitiously avoided. This tricky scheme may cost state and local government dozens of dollars a year, the price of rampant lawlessness.

There is but one solution to this disheartening tragedy: ignore it.

That’s right. Don’t call the police, the health department or the National Security Agency.

Just smile and accept reality. Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Children always have sold lemonade and they always will.

As long as they do, a useful check on overbearing government and crabby neighbors will prevail. God Bless America.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD. – Job 1:21

I have of late thought much of death. It isn’t personal; no dread diseases beset me, no dangerous journeys lie in my immediate future.

It is to Charlie Gard’s credit that I consider who ultimately owns life and death. Is it the doctors who treated him? Is it the judge who denied his parents the freedom to travel overseas for further treatment? Is it the well-intentioned bureaucracy of British health care? Is it his parents?

Imagine the pain of those parents. Less than a year ago they brought a seemingly health son home. But he didn’t progress as other babies his age and doctors soon discovered his serious illness. In the months ahead, he was back in the hospital, his condition worsening and his parents working for funds and permission to get more help. Delays…delays…delays…too late…now.

Those parents soared from obscurity to prime players in an international debate over when to pull the plug on Charlie’s life support machinery. No parent would choose this path to notoriety.

And God said, “Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens. – Genesis 1:20

As Christians, we believe life comes from God; it didn’t just ooze up from the mud of a spontaneous planet. And God had better plans for us than death.

Do not court death by your erring way of life, nor draw to yourselves destruction by the works of your hands. Because God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living. For he fashioned all things that they might have being, and the creatures of the world are wholesome. There is not a destructive drug among them nor any domain of Hades on earth. For righteousness is undying. It was the wicked who with hands and words invited death, considered it a friend, and pined for it, and made a covenant with it, because they deserve to be allied with it. — Wisdom 1:12-16

Modern medicine has helped us to cure dreaded diseases and mend broken bodies. The issue of when to remove a baby from life support didn’t exist when I was a baby. If I had been as sick as Charlie Gard, a judge would have had nothing to decide; I would have died.

I fear we sometimes start to believe we are God, with the power — and wisdom to decide who lives and who dies. In Charlie’s case, it appears a judge will determine when a baby dies. That scares me .It should scare you.

Of course, we can only delay earthly death. There is a path to overcome death; if we don’t believe that, there isn’t much point to being Christian. That path is a person, Jesus Christ. He and Charlie have this in common: both had a judge who failed to intervene on their behalf. Unlike Jesus, Charlie is just a baby. But he has given us much to think about.

I never served in the military. So, it is possible I have this all wrong. But I doubt it.

My late father and late father-in-law both served, as did several of my other relatives. In conversations with them, paying attention to the news and watching probably every movie John Wayne ever made, I got the impression the military isn’t the place for social experimentation.

The military experiments, but more along the lines of how to keep its members safe and eliminate the enemy most effectively. Sorting out issues related to human sexuality shouldn’t be a priority for people getting prepared for war.

First, it seems the Army has informed its female soldiers that they should show dignity and respect for transgender soldier who are in the process of transitioning from male to female. These transitioning folk will be using the female barracks and showers even though they are still anatomically male.

In other words, if you are a female soldier and you encounter someone with a penis in your showers, don’t worry; they aren’t really a guy, but an uncompleted woman.

I’m not sure (nor do I want to speculate on this too much) how you know the difference between a transitioning person and a guy who just decided to ogle the women in the bath, but the situation must lead to some interesting conversations for military recruiters…

SARGEANT RECRUITER: So, tell me about yourself.

AMORPHOUS RECRUIT: Well, I’m called William Smith on my birth certificate. Most of my life, people have called me Bill. But in the past couple years I have started to sense that I should have been Gertrude. So, my close friends now call me Gert.

SARGE: That is really interesting. As you know, the military is open to people of all gender persuasions. Would you like to be assigned to male or female quarters?

BILL/GERT: Gee, that is a tough one. Some days I feel like a boy and some days I feel like a girl. Do I really have to choose?

SARGE: I hope it doesn’t seem unsympathetic or in any way, threatening to your fluid personhood, but you do have to select one. However, the Army will do everything to make you feel comfortable and if you decide to be a man now and decide later you would rather be a woman, we’ll pay for whatever treatments and surgeries are involved.

I probably should have mentioned this earlier; the military pays for its members to have sex-change operations. That means we are paying for the operations. And I don’t think this is a wise investment in the defense of our nation.

You don’t have to be a genius or have won an Olympic medal to join the Army. But there are entrance exams and fitness tests. Not everyone gets in. And if it were up to me, recruits would have to be a demonstrable member of one gender, without the option of changing later on.

Charlie Gard came into this world on August 4, 2016. His parents love him and want him to have as much of life as God wills for him. He may be dead by the time you read this.

Charlie has a rare genetic disorder and brain damage. Doctors in the UK say his condition is terminal and there is nothing more to be done.

Charlie’s parents don’t accept that opinion. Parents tend to resist such news. I know. I’m a parent and no medical situation, no matter how dire, no matter how terrifying, could remove hope from my heart for a sick child.

As you probably have read, Charlie’s case has been the subject of lawsuits, court rulings, opinions from doctors and medical ethicists, countless news reports and the tears of parents around the world. Even Pope Francis and President Trump weighed in.

Medical authorities in the UK won’t let Charlie go home, won’t let his parents take him to the United States for treatment and won’t like his parents take him to Italy for treatment.

I suppose they figure if they can’t heal him, he can’t be healed. They likely are right, but why fight someone else who is willing to try – and the scores of people willing to pay for trying?

Charlie’s parents are a bump in the road of state-controlled medicine. They didn’t fall in line with the “system.” The European Court of Human Rights rejected their final appear. I guess Charlie has run out of human rights. When you can’t get help from a court of “human rights”, the Pope or the President, you probably have reached the end of the road.

But it is only an earthly road. Charlie’s situation moves millions of people around the world. His parents love him. God loves him. He was the definition of innocent victim.

Charlie Gard will die. So will you. So will I. Everyone dies.

You and I pray we’ll get to heaven. I’m pretty sure St. Peter already has a place reserved for Charlie.