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For the record, this goes way farther back than my weird adventure time fandom, I have been having these thoughts since like second grade, I have kind of repressed them though.

I use to cross dress a lot before my sister started wondering what where the hell her clothes were disappearing too. I stopped cold after my mom thought I was insane in saying I wasn't messing with my clothes at night when she found my room with clothes everywhere, when the truth was I was fashioning them into pseudo-dresses. Because of that lie I was forced to get brain scans as my mother thought I was having seizures or something. To this day my mother still thinks me waking up in the night and messing around was me sleep walking.

P. kinky my man. But there's definately a chick out there dreaming of just that.

I know this is a joke, but this is sort of the minimum baseline of what I am thinking about, I am unsure if I really want to go forward and identify as a woman for example, there is a sliding scale here of gender that I am unsure of where I am at, at the moment.

Originally Posted by stiles

wait i don't get it. you had clothes out at night so your mother thought you were epileptic? the fuck

in fear I denied the event ever happened at all to the point that from the outside view, it would look like I was insane, on top of this I have some outside quirks like poor memory and spacing out, but that pushed it over the edge

in hindsight that would of been the perfect time to come out, but at that time I was still in denial about the whole thing

Also, do women pay like no attention to their levels of makeup or something? I must of used up all my mothers lipstick in that time period when my mother in contrast uses lipstick like maybe 3 times a year, just something that I just realized in hindsight now that is odd.

I think my father has some idea of what I was doing, from time to time he makes jokes about me wearing my sister's clothes, so either he knows about it and is doing an excellent job of keeping a secrete, or is making oddly on point jokes about me.

kirby, i don't think you're that confused. i think you just haven't come out yet so you're being shy about it. if you're dressing up in girls clothes and using lipstick i think it's pretty obvious you want to identify as a woman. whether or not you want to just cross dress or if you really think you'd be better off identifying as a woman, i'm sure you have an idea as to which of those is more true.

as a gay guy, looking back on myself, i now realize that i've liked dudes since i was in the 6th grade. but from 6th grade to the end of 9th grade i didn't identify as gay because everybody around me liked girls. it wasn't out of any fear of prejudice, i had that fear after i came to realize i was gay. i was just subconsciously trying to be like everyone else that i never stopped to think about the fact that i looked at guys more than girls. it sounds stupid but society can have more of an effect on you than you think. i'm sure years from now you'll be confident in who you are and realize you've been like that for a long time even though you're confused about it right now. do yourself a favor and skip the bullshit.

Part of the problem is idk how far I should go, keep in mind changing gender or even sex is much more biologically serious than simply having sex with another gender, no offense Justin. There are a lot of in between that could be done, such as just identifying, to full surgery. I guess the best thing to do is take this one step at a time, the first thing to do is come clean to my parents about cross dressing.

I am going to talk to my mother about possible hormone supplements, or whatever they are called, I plan about being open about this with my family.

The rest of the world fucking sucks tough, if I do go through treatment, I am not coming out until it is obvious. I don't want to go through any trouble with assholes making fun of me identifying as a female, when I still have stubble on my neckbeard.

First of all, congrats on confronting your sexual identity Kirbx. I remember when I came to grips with the fact that I'm asexual (or perhaps demisexual), I can only imagine how hard it is to realize you're perhaps another gender entirely. Onto clarifying this shit:

There are three key concepts to understanding human sexuality and gender: Sex, gender, and sexual orientation. Now, keep in mind that all of these things can be and are entirely independent from each other. I cannot stress this enough, as people just don't seem to get this. Sex does not necessarily dictate gender, gender does not necessarily dictate sexual orientation, and sexual orientation definitely does not dictate a person's sex.

The other thing is that none of these categories are particularly rigid. Gender and sexual orientation are both cultural constructions, and the dichotomy of male vs. female (and heterosexual vs. homosexual) is not particularly biologically accurate. I'll get to this in a bit, just keep it in mind.

Sex: This is pretty basic, for the most part. Sex is a biological designation based on a person's genitally. If you have a penis your sex is male, if you have a vagina your sex is female. That being said, there are some exceptions to this rule. A person that is intersex (a hermaphrodite) has the genitalia of a male and a female. So what? you ask. Well this has serious social implications. In the Dominican Republic children who are intersex are recognized as a third sex entirely. Check out the wikipedia page on third sexes and genders.

Gender: Gender's a bit tougher to explain. In this case we're referring specifically to gender identity. That is, how an individual personally feels their identity fits into and is defined by society. This can vary a bit between society, for instance an effeminate male in Samoa wouldn't identify as a woman, but rather as the entirely different gender category of Fa'afafine (Fa'afafines are really cool by the way, if anyone's interested in discussing them at some later time). In Western society we have a gender binary of male and female, so a person who feels a certain way about certain things (how should I dress, what should I do today, who do I want to hang out with, who is my role model), might find that their feelings fall more into one gender category than another, regardless of biological sex. So, perhaps while Kirbx has a dick, he might feel out-of-place in a boy's locker room. There is good science behind this too, studies of transgender people has shown that many folks who might identify as the "opposite gender" actually have the same brain structures as the opposite sex (a male who identifies as female has certain female parts of the brain as opposed to what you'd see in a typical male).

Sexual orientation: So let's say Kirbx decides his gender is female, and to compliment this he also decides to change sexes. A few surgeries and some hormone therapy later, he comes out a "woman". Then, he starts having sex with other women. Is he a lesbian? Well... the answer is... eh, kinda-sorta. The terms "lesbian" and "gay" (and "homosexual" for that matter) are a bit sticky, as they assume a rigid gender and sex dichotomy. Let's just say kirbx is gynephilic, that is, he is attracted to people of the female sex. Sexual orientation can vary greatly from person to person, and is not rigid. Nobody is perfectly heterosexual or homosexual, rather we experience a spectrum of sexuality, and each person leans in a certain direction. Yes, pedophilia and other such attractions also fall on this spectrum, but that's another story for another time (I'll make a thread about it in Discussion some time if you guys want. Also, yeah, King was wrong).

So, Kirbx likes/d to wear women's clothing. Is that a fetish? I'd say probably not. From what I can ascertain it seems to me more like wearing female clothing just made him feel more comfortable, because he was conforming to how he perceived he falls into society, as opposed to what his genitalia say. There certainly are people who simply get turned on by taking on a different gender role for a little while, but I don't think Kirbx falls into that category. (Side note: Check out Wikipedia's crazy list of paraphilias.)

tl;dr societal labels of sex, gender, etc. just make things more confusing and aren't very useful for this conversation.

So, Kirbx likes/d to wear women's clothing. Is that a fetish? I'd say probably not. From what I can ascertain it seems to me more like wearing female clothing just made him feel more comfortable, because he was conforming to how he perceived he falls into society, as opposed to what his genitalia say. There certainly are people who simply get turned on by taking on a different gender role for a little while, but I don't think Kirbx falls into that category. (Side note: Check out Wikipedia's crazy list of paraphilias.)

As mentioned earlier, for the longest time I thought this might be it, I don't think so anymore, I think that was me in denial.

It really depends on you. I kinda wish shaving wasn't such a big thing because I don't really get why people find leg hair on a girl gross. I just decided to wear jeans everyday and skip on shaving them. :P

First of all, congrats on confronting your sexual identity Kirbx. I remember when I came to grips with the fact that I'm asexual (or perhaps demisexual), I can only imagine how hard it is to realize you're perhaps another gender entirely. Onto clarifying this shit:

There are three key concepts to understanding human sexuality and gender: Sex, gender, and sexual orientation. Now, keep in mind that all of these things can be and are entirely independent from each other. I cannot stress this enough, as people just don't seem to get this. Sex does not necessarily dictate gender, gender does not necessarily dictate sexual orientation, and sexual orientation definitely does not dictate a person's sex.

The other thing is that none of these categories are particularly rigid. Gender and sexual orientation are both cultural constructions, and the dichotomy of male vs. female (and heterosexual vs. homosexual) is not particularly biologically accurate. I'll get to this in a bit, just keep it in mind.

Sex: This is pretty basic, for the most part. Sex is a biological designation based on a person's genitally. If you have a penis your sex is male, if you have a vagina your sex is female. That being said, there are some exceptions to this rule. A person that is intersex (a hermaphrodite) has the genitalia of a male and a female. So what? you ask. Well this has serious social implications. In the Dominican Republic children who are intersex are recognized as a third sex entirely. Check out the wikipedia page on third sexes and genders.

Gender: Gender's a bit tougher to explain. In this case we're referring specifically to gender identity. That is, how an individual personally feels their identity fits into and is defined by society. This can vary a bit between society, for instance an effeminate male in Samoa wouldn't identify as a woman, but rather as the entirely different gender category of Fa'afafine (Fa'afafines are really cool by the way, if anyone's interested in discussing them at some later time). In Western society we have a gender binary of male and female, so a person who feels a certain way about certain things (how should I dress, what should I do today, who do I want to hang out with, who is my role model), might find that their feelings fall more into one gender category than another, regardless of biological sex. So, perhaps while Kirbx has a dick, he might feel out-of-place in a boy's locker room. There is good science behind this too, studies of transgender people has shown that many folks who might identify as the "opposite gender" actually have the same brain structures as the opposite sex (a male who identifies as female has certain female parts of the brain as opposed to what you'd see in a typical male).

Sexual orientation: So let's say Kirbx decides his gender is female, and to compliment this he also decides to change sexes. A few surgeries and some hormone therapy later, he comes out a "woman". Then, he starts having sex with other women. Is he a lesbian? Well... the answer is... eh, kinda-sorta. The terms "lesbian" and "gay" (and "homosexual" for that matter) are a bit sticky, as they assume a rigid gender and sex dichotomy. Let's just say kirbx is gynephilic, that is, he is attracted to people of the female sex. Sexual orientation can vary greatly from person to person, and is not rigid. Nobody is perfectly heterosexual or homosexual, rather we experience a spectrum of sexuality, and each person leans in a certain direction. Yes, pedophilia and other such attractions also fall on this spectrum, but that's another story for another time (I'll make a thread about it in Discussion some time if you guys want. Also, yeah, King was wrong).

So, Kirbx likes/d to wear women's clothing. Is that a fetish? I'd say probably not. From what I can ascertain it seems to me more like wearing female clothing just made him feel more comfortable, because he was conforming to how he perceived he falls into society, as opposed to what his genitalia say. There certainly are people who simply get turned on by taking on a different gender role for a little while, but I don't think Kirbx falls into that category. (Side note: Check out Wikipedia's crazy list of paraphilias.)

tl;dr societal labels of sex, gender, etc. just make things more confusing and aren't very useful for this conversation.

Thinking about this now, it probably goes even farther back than second grade, I remember playing with dollies, barbies, and even dressing up as a princess a few times as a little one.

Anyway, on a slightly different issue, does it really matter is someone has a "female brain." Lets say for example it is revealed that I have a male brain, and I still not justified in my transness? If I feel that I am a women, shouldn't I be the one to make this distinction alone?