July 2010

Bank of America’s profit slips, but tops estimates (MarketWatch) The bank posted second-quarter net income of $3.12 billion, or 27 cents a share, down from $3.22 billion, or 33 cents a share, from the same period last year. That compares with analysts’ consensus estimate of 22 cents a share, based on estimates compiled by FactSet […]

When was the last time you took a second look at your student loans? If you’re like most borrowers, you probably try hard not to think about them. After all, dwelling on your debt isn’t going to make it go away any faster. Or is it?

True or false: all the Apple/iPhone craziness has left you confused re: how to play this trade. You don’t know which analysts to trust and what you could really use is a sober voice of reason to tell you what to do. Well, today’s your lucky day. Rush Limbaugh has decided to share his formidable […]

Pack your bags, Timbo. It’s been real. In other good-for-Vickles news, analyst are predicting that Citi will post profits of of a whole nickel per share tomorrow, in which case you can probably expect something like this to go down in the C-suite in about 18 hours.

As you may know, in December 2008, when things were getting really fun on Wall Street and Ken Lewis was calling him in a fit of drunk tears to ask if it was too late to pull out of the whole BAC-MER thing, Hank Paulson was in Aspen was hitting the slopes. No big deal […]

A former hedge fund manager was beaten by his wife with a full bottle of wine following an argument this weekend. Susan Van Cook was arrested on Sunday, after Greenwich Hospital notified Rye, N.Y., police that her husband sought treatment for his injuries, which included a bite on the forearm. Joseph Van Cook, who was […]

Reach: Rewarding Achievement is an educational non-profit started three years ago which helps prepare disadvantaged high school students prep for their AP exams. The program tutors roughly 3,700 kids in 31 New York schools on the weekends and awards them cash prizes of $500 for scoring a 5, $400 for 4’s and $300 for 3’s. […]

JPMorgan’s Earnings Surge 76% (MarketWatch) The bank said Thursday that its second-quarter profit jumped 76% as results were boosted by a $1.5 billion reduction in the group’s loan loss reserves. JPM posted earnings of $4.8 billion, or $1.09 cents a share for the quarter, compared to $2.7 billion, or 28 cents in the same period […]

“Life is such a fucking disaster,” a prominent New York hedge fund manager said recently. “We all live in some kind of world we create for ourselves. And I think that what happened is that built into that world were very enlarged expectations about what life was going to be. There’s been this sensation of […]

For the most part, you can’t swing a BD without knocking into someone who would rate Jamie Dimon on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being “love that guy” 10 being “I’ve built a shrine to his cock at my desk.” Notice I said “FOR THE MOST PART.” Last week a guy on Facebook […]

Why? According to Pitt, in a bold (though perhaps not so far-fetched) claim, nobody’s actually read the thing. Dodd-Frank is a ponderous beast. If Congress were paid by the word or the page, this verbiage might be understandable. But neither of those conditions exists, meaning all we can be certain of is that no one […]

First off, let me start by putting this out there: Team Rebellion doesn’t need your money. As you can plainly see from the photo at left, if this whole hedge fund thing doesn’t work out, the principals can easily find work as a boy band. Having said that, they’re going to keep at this money […]

Since it became de rigeur to hate on Wall Street, one of the most common refrains we hear about are financial services employees’ abuse of animals. “Goldman Sachs clubs baby seals in the basement of 85 Broad” this, “bankers kick puppies and have a good laugh about it” that. Well look who the sick fucks […]

Share

/
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:14 PM

SAC

Mary Jo White was the top federal prosecutor in New York City during Bill Bratton’s first run as the Big Apple’s top cop, and she learned a few lessons from his “broken windows” theory: Clean a place up a little, and throw the fucking book at the street urchins who are messing things up with […]