Wife, mother & Texan navigating life in Italy

Ciao y’all!

We made it. Granted we made it like 4 months ago, but we made it! I am back to share with you the ridiculous tales of life in Italy. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share with y’all some rules/lessons I’ve learned as we’ve gotten adjusted.

1. Hindsight is 20/20

You make lists. You pack everything you might possibly need and more between your luggage and your shipment and you’ll still forget/wish you would’ve brought ______________. Yes, it totally sucks. And, yes, it might push you past the brink of sanity (especially if your flight out of MIA was delayed 5 hours and your 3 kids are running around like poster children for Ritalin).

Deal with it.

You can buy most anything here. If not, there is still Amazon. If you still can’t handle it pour a glass of wine, sit on your porch/balcony and enjoy the amazing views from the new place you call home. #blessed

2. Italian is hard y’all

I know the 2 of you who read this read about my adventures in Duolingo. I thought I was doing so good, not mastery good, but something more than survival mode good.

So. So.Wrong.

I’m not sure what comes out of my mouth. It seems like a hybrid of Italian, French and restaurant Spanish. In reality, it likely sounds like the teacher from Peanuts.

Another aspect to the Italian language is the hand gestures. You have to learn how to use these properly along with the language. It’s super confusing, and if you do it wrong you might as well banish yourself from town. I’m a hand talker in English, I’m hoping this will follow through to Italian.

Meanwhile, my oldest has to translate for us everywhere we go…sorry kid. I’m starting MY Italian tutoring next week. #Jesustakethewheel

3. EVERYTHING shuts down in August

Everything. Literally.

Pro Tip: Try to not start anything August 1st, like we did. Luckily all our utilities were signed over to us at the end of July, or we would’ve been screwed. But you know that internet you depend on? We didn’t have it for over a month. Why? August. Most non-hospitality related businesses, the majority of civic functions (i.e.: Immigration), and service businesses are closed the whole month for holiday (European speak for vacation).

In addition to August, don’t think that there is such a thing as “normal business hours”. Where we live most things are closed Monday, half-day Wednesday, open “late” (a somewhat subjective term) Friday and half-day Sunday. Not to mention the daily lunch hour(s) closings. These are typically from 12:30-2:30(sometimes as late as 5:30) daily. DAILY!!

Lunch is legit here y’all…don’t question it. #2legit2notquitforlunch

4. A Domani

A domani means “see you tomorrow”. This friendly exchange is shared amongst friends/neighbors/co-workers you will literally see tomorrow. But, “a domani” has a darker side…

Say you order something like a couch, or school uniforms or school books. You’ll ask when they’ll arrive, they tell you a date. You go to inquire about said items on this date and you get the same answer “a domani”. While a domani typically means “see you tomorrow”, here it means “check tomorrow”. One “a domani” turns in to ten and suddenly it’s a month later, so you’ve stopped counting in days.

“A domani” is a pacifier. “A domani”, in these instances, is equivalent to “I really don’t know, but sorry’boutcha”. #whateves

All that being said, we are still super grateful for the chance to live here. This is the first time all my kiddos have been in school all day, so I’m trying to get on more of a schedule myself. That schedule will presumably include more entries here, more reading, morning cafe and prosecco lunches. Not so bad.

Hubby left February 11 for Italy and I woke up that morning with no voice. (No voice with 3 kids, by myself…perfect.)We’ve had upper respiratory infection, allergy crap, the flu and I am currently being treated for strep. Amazing, right?

All of this down time has given me a lot of downtime with my buddy Duo. As in Duolingo. In completing the lessons, I found Duo says some surprising things to me. For instance:

I don’t like where this is going.

How did he know?!?!?!?!?!

Let me guess? You want a ham sammach too?

Yes, rub it in rest of the world. #standardisstupid

Only if you’re a Cullen. #EGBTT

WHAT is taking him so long? Mama is thirsty!

You’re making me uncomfortable Duo. 😳

NB: I was so hopped up on meds, I thought I should take a picture of my iPad screen with my phone versus a screen shot. That explains why some look crazy and some are normal. Judge away!

Like this:

Since we found out our family will be moving to Italy in June…JUNE Y’ALL!! We’ve been in crunch mode. It is a mere 4 months away. FOUR MONTHS!!! Feeling an anxiety attack coming on, I popped an Effexor and got to work.

I do not speak Italian outside of what I learned in my college Art History classes & the Olive Garden menu (this IS the south). French? Oui! Spanish? Un poco. Italian? IDK my BFF Rose? After doing some research and talking with other expats, we decided to use Duolingo.

This is Thing 1 using Duolingo. She is 8. She is already more proficient than me.

Being nerds, we also bought an Italian textbook. Big surprise, it’s called “Ciao!”. (Shocking, right?) In an additional stroke of genius, the Hubster decided we should label common words/things/rooms around the house.

This is on the front and back of all doors. It does a good job of confusing guests and deterring Mormons.

I thought colored notecards would be helpful…apparently I should’ve thought it out better.

Laundry room or purple? Your guess is as good as mine.

Some hit a little to close to home.

Parents bedroom or janitor’s closet? As a SAHM, sometimes I feel like its the latter.

Athough we will get a tutor when we arrive, I’d like to try not to be like Karl Pilkington from An Idiot Abroad. We’ll keep labeling and Duolingo-ing until June.

Anytips for language learning? Did I butcher any of the labels? Let me know!

But just a little. It’s all so exciting and kind of romantic. Italy Y’all! If you know my family at all, the Griswald’s are likely coming to mind. Being a true child of the 80’s, I had the same visions.

In the meantime, the Mister is about to leave on a pre-expatriation 90-day business trip. I’ll be left to my own devices with Things 1, 2 & 3 in the interim. The insanity will surely begin soon. I hope you all will join me along this journey. There is sure to be lots of laughter (mostly at myself), a few tears and plenty of “Jesus take the wheel” moments…but I promise to never sing.