Schizophrenia Support Group

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.

I cant trust anyone

I cant trust anyone - im convinced that people are out to get me. Like they have a scheme that they are working to - hiding behind corners , recording everything. I am risking being found just writing this.

But i need to write this... because I want to trust the people i usd to trust - I want to trust my friends but right now im finding even that hard, and its not their fault. Its the 'others' who are behind it all.

Its scaring me - I dont want to have to hide.

I dont want to have to check everthing to make sure its not contaminated with their technology - I have turned off my webcam, but how do i know they arent still using it, so i have hidden it away - but there are other ways - ITs driving me insane - and where does it all stop???

My heater is on high (because its cold) and it keeps cutting out and starting again - I know it has a thermostat but I cant help wondering if it is being controlled - if it is and the people who are controlling it are out there reading this - IM ONTO YOU!

I struggle with these thoughts too. They come and go with varrying intensity. I have things that help against it. I have a ring that helps to keep my emotions inside my body, so that other people can't feel them.

I recite poetry to keep my thoughts in my own head so others can't hear them. I wind up a music box at night that keeps me protected as I fall asleep, my most vunerible time.

You should find some things like that. Download some programs to keep your computer from intruders or something? Put a passcode on your wireless? Set up an alarm system?

Wow. That sounds so like me. It can be just about anything that sets me off. It's it's too quiet...then the small noises bother me. If the A/C kicks on, then I'm wondering what's in the air. It's a horrible way to live.

All this technology just makes it worse. I don't feel safe walking outside without my cell phone, but I'm also afraid that someone is using it to spy on me. Not that I have any secret conversations or that I'm important, but I can't control how I feel.

I don't have any really good coping skills to tell you. When I want to have a decent stress-free time, I end up drinking, which makes me feel somewhat better.

Even sleeping isn't a remedy because I get nightmares that leave me affected for the whole next day or even longer depending on how intense they are.

Medication helps, but it bothers my legs so much I don't take it often.

You know sometimes I get so tired of it and feel this isn't the life anyone should have to live. It's just not worth trying to make better, so I let myself go down the drain.

Take a vacation from your fears and thoughts and make sure to do it,start with one day vacation,.............do it and push your brain( sodomise your brain )to take that fucking vacation from your problems.

Our whole society is built upon trust if you think about it.
You sound like you're having the same kind of paranoid thoughts I had when I was in psychosis. It's not a coincidence that you're posting this up on a schizophrenia support group site.

For relief from these issues I think you really really really need to tell a good psychiatrist. You might be afraid to at first, but you need to tell them so they can help you not suffer from this. They are there to help not harm.

Don't let the fear paralyze you. Like in the movie Dune, they said, &quot;Fear is the mind-killer&quot;. Don't let fear rule you. Go beyond it and eventually it will fade as you get things done that need to be done for you to be happy again.

By the way, I can relate to disconnecting the webcam. I'm not paranoid currently, but I do that too, just to feel a bit better. Anyways I wish you better days soon. You don't have to hide, but the feelings could get worse if you don't get psychiatric help. So please don't delay in contacting a psychiatrist.

ok im kinda back in reality. I think anyway, dont kow how long it lasts, feels like i need to go back into my own word to be safe stil... we'll see.

I stopped taking my meds but i dont think i really did, because theres no more than there should be but i thought i had stopped... anyway, no matter. Thanks for all your input. I am ok at the moment so lng as I dont go outside - webcam still covered but tv is on more than before.

DEAR YOU SOUND LIFE ME WITH NO ONE IN THE HOUSE ALONE IN A RAINY NIGHT WITH THE LIGHTS OUT. eVEN MY IMAGINGS DEVELOPED THEIR OWN IMAGININGS! i BEGIN TO BELIEVE THAT i CAN SEE BEEDY EYES PEARING IN VERY WINDOW, OF COURSE SOME ANIMAL FROM THE 360 ACRES AOUNND THIS HOUSE THAT HAS SUDDENLY FOR ONE NIGHT DECIDED TO TAKE INTEREST IN WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS HOUSE AND ALL THE ANIMALS COME OUT OF THEIR HICE WARM BURROWS ON A COLD RAINY NIGHT AND COME AND PEER INTO MY UN-CURTAONED 3'x6&quot; WINDOWS,. (i DON'T HAVE CURTAINS ANYWHERE EXCEPT IN ROOMS WHERE THERE ARE TOILETS, OR THE KIDS ROOMS THEIR CHOICE) AND THE REST OF THE HOUSE-18 3X6 OR 6X6 WINDORS WITHOUR CURTAINS AND WITH OUT ANY WALL THEY COULD TALE OUT ALL 3200 SQFT OF IT.I am claustrophobic))
I cannot stand closed in spaces, so curtains give me anxity,, open spaces actually give me a sort of freedom. THIS BEAUTIFUL HOME ON A TREE SHADDED HILL TOP, ON A SORING DAY,
CAN BE TERRIFYING WHEN THE HUSBAND, KIDS,DOG, AND GUN IS LOCKED UP FOR MY &quot;safety&quot;, AND THE WIND IS BLOWING 40 MILES AN HOUR AND IT IS DARK AS PITCH, (NO NIGHT LIGHT- NO POWER) TREES GROANING AND SNAPPING, ME SITTING UP IN BED WITH MY WIND UP FLASH LIGHT AND NOVEL AND MY JOURNAL, KIND OF VASCILATING BETWEEN THE TWO, FINDING IT HARD TO CONCENTRATE, IT SEEMS JUST AS I SETTLE INTO ONE THERE IS A LOUD BOLT OF LIGHTENING THAT MASKES ME NEARLY JUMP FROM THE BED AND THE GENTLE CADENCE OF THE RAIN IS BROKEN BY POUNDING TORRENS BEATING A NEARLY SYNCOPATED FAST FUSION JAZZ IMPROV BEAT ON MY STEEL ROOF. TOO LOUD TO WRITE OR READ OR WRITE, SO I GET UP AND PACE AND LOOK PUT OF THE WINDOWS, MOSTLY OUT THE FRONT POURCH AT THE TEN ACRES OF PASTURE AND WHERE THROUGH THE MOONLIGHT I CAN SEE THE FIRESTORM. I PULL MY EASY CHAIR AND GATHER MY BLANKETS AND CUP OF HOT TEA ABOUT ME AND WATCH.... SOMETIMES I WAKE UP MANY HOURS LATER AND ITS A PEACEFUL QUIET DAWN AND THE BIRDS ARE SINGING AND THE SKY IS CLEAR. Amazing the power of Nature. Time for a hot cup of coffee and a move to the front porch to watch the humming birds eat while I read the paper. Blessings to you all, Yes I know my live moves at a snails pace, but I move, thats the blessing here! Dr. Fathetr Vivian

Im going through the same thing. I want to believe noone is watching me and trust my loved ones. They reach out to me and say it's all right that I can trust them. I keep thinking everyone knows about this illness or want's to know everything about me. I keep thinking I can't trust them at times because they want to hurt me. I keep telling myself that if I trust them I would make them happy. Your not walking alone my friend. Maybe we should try go give them more trust and one more of a try. Don't get down on yourself if you fail. I always do. One day we'll get it right.
caregiver 07 husband

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.