Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Friends

I got the idea to write this post after reading a post (Single Serve) written by NRIGirl.

We all know the famous saying. “Make new friends, but keep the old”. We do have a problem with that. Both making new friends and keeping the old are just about impossible for us.

We meet new friends. We get closer to them. It is exciting to talk to them and associate with them. Exchange of information with new friends makes us happy. We get a thrill out of it.

Once we have new friends, what do we do with the old friends? We think we have outgrown the friendship. We tend to ignore them. It is not as exciting any more to be in touch with them. The thought of them irritates us. Some of us even go out of the way to cut off the relationship.

And then there are friends who take advantage of your kindness and use you to the fullest. You give everything to that friend. But they just escape when they come to know you need some help. Recently I heard an incident like that. Brought tears in my eyes.

There is a saying in Tamil. It is called “rail snehidham”. Translation: Train friendship. It means it is a temporary friendship as long as we travel together between Point A and Point B. It will be the most entertaining and exciting time for us. But when the train reaches Point B, it is just bye bye and never to see them again. New friendship is something similar to the “rail snehidham”. Of course, in some few cases this will become a true genuine friendship. But very rarely.

Old friendships are the ones that did not start in a train journey. It is a genuine friendship. Genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life.

Just like the train journey, new friends are gone after a certain time. Then we get ourselves into loneliness that makes us really depressed. Then we start to miss our old friends, especially at hard times. We wish they were here. We wish we could see them. We wish we could do the same old things together. We fondly remember the help and assistance we gave and received.

One day we get enough strength and courage to call the forgotten old friend. As soon as he hears our voice, he immediately says “Hi (name) How are you. Haven’t heard from you for quite sometime. You must have been very busy”.

29 comments:

Beautiful Rajan!! Brought back my memories of one train friend. I met her in a train she took me to her house, showed me the beach first time in my life. We were in touch for a very long time. But now no connection, but i still miss her...

SG, what you are saying is absolutely true. New friends come and go,but old is gold.I have very few friends.old and precious.But I make sure I am in touch with them because they know me inside out and any time when I need support they are always there and me for them too.

As you said here, old friendship is forever. After reaching certain age, we think twice before coming close to any new friends. When we are young, we never think negative things and do not bother very much and come closer to anyone easily. So even after 20-30 years, though we don't talk on a day to day basis, still the friendship continues!

Very true, real friends are those who will stay with u, thru, ups and downs. Some of my school friends are still in touch with me, they are those with whom even if I dont communicate much are still with me and there are those who are regularly in touch but who I know are with me because they fulfil some need thru me.Life is like that isn't it

Thats a nice article on Train friend. Yeah,many people walk-in and walk-out of your lives. Yep, Time is a test of the 'friendship'. According to me,we have a tendency of classifying everyone we meet as a 'friend'. May be they are just an acquaintance. Secondly,as put forward by you,once an intimate bond is formed between two people,it can be revived by a mere phone call,not matter the years of 'silence' between them.

so true SG I have few friends but whatever the no may be i never take them for granted and make all the efforts required from my side,i have neglected my friends in the past and really repented later, now i never make that mistake

Very thought provoking post. Reminded me of all the friends with whom I have lost all contact. Actually we might have been very close friends when were in school or college, but i have seen in many cases in my life,(at least) the people who were were close to me at one time were not so excited to find me suddenly in their lives. They seemed to be very cordial and aloof, like all of a sudden a wall was built around them.I really felt bad, that they did not share the same kind of excitement in meeting me as I felt on seeing them.

I felt things had changed for them, maybe there was lot of tension in their lives, they couldn't be as carefree as they were when they were young. So although I was disappointed, I could finally understand them and let them go. So some friendships might also fizzle away like this over the passage of time, and I don't blame anybody for that. But the good times spent with them would always be cherished by me, and I will always think of them as good friends only.

Old or new commitment is the key to lasting friendship. sometimes other priorities like family makes it impossible to maintain friendships. In my case, I don't ignore nor forget friends but mostly I don't get time to chat or be with them the way I want due to work and family commitments.

Thanks for your comments Rama. You are absolutely right. We can go back to the place and people. But not to the time. Friends who were close to us once have gone in different directions and have different interests now.