Homeschool & Scrapbooking & Kid Crafts & Jane Austen

February 21, 2012

One of the children who used to live in our neighborhood has moved away and grown up and gone off to college...much to my amazement because she is still the adorable, bright eyed 3rd grader she used to be in my head. In a class she is taking, she was assigned the culture sub group of homeschoolers. She has asked for our participation in answering some questions and observing us for this project.

We are a cultural sub group.

It makes me laugh every time. I mean, it is so true and yet it is something I never thought about.

Should I tell her I am a trekkie as well? Part of me is tempted to go and purchase a long denim skirt to wear on the day she visits;)

Her first question is why we decided to homeschool. I figured, if I was going to type it out in an e-mail, I might as well double dip and put it here as well. It is probably the # 3 question get asked right behind #1) What are you going to do about High School? and #2) How do you put up with your children all day long?

Here is a recap of how it came about:

(Despite my best efforts to fix it - the spacing on this post is a bit odd from here on out.)

The short version - I realized the the private school (that the boys were attending) and the public school in our area did not provide the options I felt like David needed as a child diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Despite what medical and educational professionals told me, I realized I was the person who was the most invested and informed about his abilities.

The long version - When David was in 2 year old preschool, we realized he was behind in vocabulary and other age appropriate skills. He was diagnosed at 4 with Autism. He went to speech and occupational therapy several times a week from the ages of 2 - 7. We had selected a school that the children could attend from preschool all the way to 12th grade when we enrolled them. There was even a preschool co-ordinater who helped children in the preschool program to assimilate into the classes if they had any special needs.

Preschool, over all, was a colossal failure for all of us. David just never adjusted. He heard every little sound in the room or he blocked it all out and lived in his own little world. We struggled with what to do. I mean, if he couldn't even sit in circle time and sing about a bear coming over a mountain, how would he ever be able to sit at a desk and learn to add? And if he couldn't do that, then how would he cope with changing classes one day and driving? And if that was a problem, then how on earth would he ever be able to manage his time in college or hold down a job? I had such a traditional, linear thought process about education that I equated not sitting at circle time to never living on his own or having a family or a job. It sounds ridiculous to say it in a few sentences like that, but it is an idea loop that a lot of parents have. I can defend that statement very well, but that is a digression for another day.

When it came time to apply for kindergarten, this same lady pulled me aside and told me something that was hurtful and yet, extremely helpful: there was no point in applying for David. The school had so many applicants, that they would not even consider a child in any sort of therapy. She told me as a kindness and I did really appreciate it. I am not even upset with the school. It is what it is.

A resource teacher from Fulton County schools was assigned to David. She came and observed him in his preschool class when he was 4. She came as many times as we requested and met with us for consultations. Her suggestion was that David should attend full day kindergarten instead of the half days I wanted to enroll him in. We should put him in the special needs classes and he should ride the bus (even though I wanted to drive him to school). We needed to put him in all of the sensory filled, abrasive environments we could so he would learn to cope with them.

She was thoughtful and invested in David. I appreciated her suggestions, but I went to my car and burst into tears. (It didn't help that I was very pregnant with little boy #3 on the emotional front.) I sat there and cried and cried.

And then I was done. It was as if a cloud lifted and the sun came out.

I would teach him at home. It was almost a choice left by default.

I understand the idea of putting him into abrasive environments and making him adapt. It reminded me of those swim class where you throw your baby into the deep end of the pool. Those children never drown and they learn to swim within a week. It is practical and designed to save lives. However, I didn't sign my kids up for that. I signed them up for swim lessons over a summer. I wanted them to have the skills so that when they got to the deep end of the pool, it was about enjoyment and not survival. That is the best way to explain my perspective on educating David. I wanted to give him the skills to handle the abrasive environments while dipping him into them in a controlled way.

Some people will tell you they are called by God to homeschool. That is super. I'd never tell non - homeschoolers that if it were my own story because that puts even more pressure on making the decision. I did, however, have a peace about it that I really can not attribute to anything emanating from within myself. I am not a peaceful person. I am tightly wound by nature and my imagination and self doubt tend to wind me up even more. As overwhelming as teaching him seemed to me, I still felt positive about the process. Some people are called by God to homeschool. I volunteered. I do attribute the peace I felt in the face of so many unknowns to the Holy Spirit.

I started homechooling David for kindergarten. I researched curriculum on line. I went to a homeschool event with speakers and curriculum. I overwhelmed myself with information. I second guessed myself. His pediatrician, grandparents and friends and therapists all thought this wasn't the best route (to varying degrees). Even with all this uncertainty, I knew 2 things: 1) This was the best thing for him even if I didn't have all the details figured out and 2) I was smarter than a kindergartner.

By November that year, Alex asked if he could come home and do school with us. He was super social in preschool and learning came easily to him. But he wanted to be with us and "do fun things with David."

Max never went to preschool.

I still wake up about 2 times a year, out of the dead of sleep, and wonder if I an messing up my kids by homeschooling them. I second guess myself at times. I worry. I pray. But instead of thinking that means I made the wrong choice, I realize that it is just parenting and being contentious. Every parent wonders if there child is reading on grade level, on the right baseball team or has the best teacher in their grade. The difference is that all those things fall on my shoulders instead of being spread over several people's skill sets. (O.k, not the baseball...but someone has to teach them kick ball and that someone would be me.)

David's change in stress level also lead to a new diagnosis: Asperger's Syndrome. For him, a classroom is like going to a restaurant where the music is a little bit too loud and trying to have a conversation with someone. You can do it, but it takes extra concentration and it wears you out. He does not love school. That was never my goal. While my version of school does not offer him everything a regular school would, I feel like it is the best educational process for him.

July 20, 2005

Have you seen the adorable movie "Flight of the Navigator"? It was a fave of mine when I was a kid.

The robot/space ship keeps saying in the nicest of smooth phone voices, "Compliance."

David likes the movie.

Today he had an "appliance" put (GLUED) into the roof of his mouth.

He calls it a "compliance."

I think the crummy day he is now having will make him rethink that movie.

David's appliance will be in the roof of his mouth for 28 days. We will crank it once a day with a key. Then it will just sit there for another 3 months to make sure that his jaw stays widened for his mongo teeth that he has inherited from his mother. I suggested they just pull two on the top and two on the bottom - like they did for me. This didn't go over well with the orthodontist or the dentist. Something about you actually need all your teeth (OH REALLY - then explain wisdom teeth)

Here is the crumminess on top of crumminess. This thing hurts some. The closest his tongue can get to the roof of his mouth is about 1/2 an inch. It makes him drool so much that he couldn't eat a Popsicle's...like lick and then it rolls out of his mouth. He has a really hard time talking. OH YEAH - he has Asperger's.....which is a sensory related thing. He may not ever get used to the feeling. It may agitate him like finger nails on a chalk board for the time it is in his mouth. OH, and eating is a pain. I spent about 5 minutes trying to get a piece of chicken nugget out of the back of it.

AND - he eats no dairy, soy or mushy foods...so the idea of him downing milkshakes is out.

He is mad at me for taking him "to that place."

Sigh.

He hasn't eaten anything other than 1 bite of chicken since last night.

So, that is what is new with us.

Oh, Grandma told David he could pick out any Transformer at Toys R Us today on her.

Mom - Starscream was $49.95. This kid may be in pain...but he hasn't lost his shopping savvey.

July 14, 2005

Why I Homeschool. This kid right here. I could stop right there. I figured that if I am going to share a little about it - I should share why I do it.

There are quite a few reasons that are great. Here are some of the perks and reasons:

1. To give your kids a more individualized education

2. To incorporate character/beliefs into the curric.

3. The lifestyle (which I will talk about later)

4. Cost vs. private school

These are great reasons why we still homschool. But these reasons had nothing to do with why we started.

John David and I both loved school growing up. We were looking for a private school and planned to stay very involved in the kid's education.

Short version of the story: Diagnosis from Autism, to sensory issues to Asperger's.

Going to a classroom is like going to restaurant where the music it too loud. You can talk across the table for a while - but eventually it becomes too much work to try ignore or talk over the music. It wears you out to try and listen that hard for that long. Do you ever just need quiet? You need it to recharge. It works like a nap does.

David just needs more of it.

If you met him today - you wouldn't know about all this. No more therapy. No more school environment. We do go to a big church and he takes classes from time to time. So it isn't like he never experiences that.

I am in control of it now, though. He is very talented and well adjusted. Very creative and articulate.

So that is why we started. We never found a school, public or private, that offered what we thought he needed. Alex went to school a few months and then wanted to come home and do school with his brother. We will start 2nd and 1st grades this year. It will be year 3 of homeschool for us.

June 21, 2005

7:47 am David turned 8 this morning. This is a blurry pic of him at exactly the time he was born 8 years ago. I walked into his room and he was sitting there. Waiting for me to come in and take the picture...like every year. "Do I look 8?" "Do I sound 8?" I said yes. He said he didn't think so. Of course, I think he looks huge. A long way from the 4.5 pounds when he was born. The phone rang - he said, "Do you think that is Grandma?" It wasn't. The next time it rang it was:) He gets to go to the toy store to spend some of his birthday money today. AND Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits for breakfast. Why do I take the picture of him at exactly the time when he was born? I was there, of course. But I was asleep when he was born. And when I woke up I think my first words were not about my new baby....but something to the effect of "I feel like crap." I didn't get to see David until he was about 12 hours old. My first thought was...he looks just like me. I still think he does....more than anyone else does. My first. The one who made me Mommy. Happy Birthday David!

April 29, 2005

Life Skills for Kids by Christine Field So if you have Jury Duty this is a good book to take along to read during all the waiting. About 300 pages, plus an Appendix that is quite helpful, of life skills grouped into the following categories: people skills, home skills, getting around in the world, managing your time, managing your stuff, fixing and maintaining your stuff, money, self care, your brain, spiritual habits, decision making, creativity and celebration. I knew some of this stuff. Ok, so there is actually a lot in this book that never would have crossed my mind to teach my children. For example, it suggests you teach you High School student about different health insurance plans andinsurance. Learning to use public transportation, creating lists of pros and cons when decision making, organizing your time are others that I were not on my radar as items to actively teach my kids. Glad I have the book because I don't know about some of this stuff myself.

It provided a great service to me in that it really brought home the importance of some of these skills and the long reaching effects of obtaining them. For example, the importance of learning to settle disagreements with a sibling on his own. I would think - of course that is important because I want my son to have good people skills. This book took it a step further and put it to me this way - learning how to handle differences between siblings is a skill that will aid my son in having a positive marriage. Hey...wait. That puts WAY more pressure on me! Then I got to thinking (yikes) that my son's marriage will of course affect my grandchildren.

It is a quick read. I was done by the time Marta deposited me back at my car after Jury Duty. The book, and I, suggest reading it all the way through first. Now I am making a list of life skills for my boys that we will learn (quite literally together in some cases) over the next year. I made notes of items for the next few years. The insurance stuff...we'll talk about that down the road. The thing is with these kids, we are moving down this road much more quickly than I ever thought. Time is flying by. It isn't so far away that my boys will need this information. In the mean time, info on learning to take care of their own shoes is pretty helpful on the pocket book as well.

The book is a great resource. It is one of the few that I would recommend that you get your own because you are gonna want to look back at it over the years. It does not tell you how to teach them everything - but most. There are quite a few references to scripture and Bible stories. This is a good book. kc