Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How to 'PASS', Guaranteed!!!

Lisa Empanada

The following post is not My Original content, but is used with permission of, and from the perspective of, Lisa Empanada. She is a transgender woman living in Philadelphia, PA. I saw her post on a Meet-Up group that we are both members of. When I read it I had to ask her if I could re-post it here for all of you who are having trouble with Passing. Again this is from Lisa's Perspective which is a perspective that I will never truly know being that I'm a Genetic Girl and don't have to deal with such problems. Enjoy!**********************************************************************************************Lisa:Who here wants to pass? Yeah, yeah... you heard me right. I am
going to GUARANTEE that you will pass. Just bare with me as we try to
figure out what passing really means.

Who here is too tall? *Lisa's hand goes up again.*Who here has a not so feminine voice? *Lisa's hand goes up. Thankful that her hand is speaking for her.*

Who here has big hands, man hands? *Lisa starts to raise her hand, but self consciously leaves it in her
lap and in her baritone voice yells out..."HEY! No fair Lisa you are
picking on me!"*

So is it true that Lisa can't 'pass' in public?
(after that question I am betting my dance card becomes less full) In
fact a lot of us girls who say we are passable probably would find many
who disagree. Would I write 'passable' in my profile? No, I would
say that I am sexy (a state of mind, a projection) I can be beautiful
(again a state of mind, a projection) And I would say I am definitely
feminine (which is certainly a state of mind and projection)

Sexy, Beautiful, Feminine
all traits commonly applied to woman but not traits that all woman
apply. So by now you can see where I am going with this. The question is
why do you feel you don't pass in public. Do you see yourself as a man
in a dress or are you fearful that this is how others will see you? Are
you preoccupied with worrying if you have been 'read'? Chances are these
are causing you not to pass.

When someone feels that they do not pass its because they feel like they look out of place, unnatural to their surroundings. Looking exactly like a woman is something you can't control, either you have it, or like me, you don't. But you do have control over looking out of place and appearing unnatural. Its all in the projection.

First off mannerisms.
We can all, with practice, walk, sit, move, smile, flirt, gesture and
in general act exactly like genetic woman. If you come plodding into a
club, like some Neanderthal in heels way too high, as if you are trying
to carry an invisible watermelon between your thighs, chances are you'll
look unnatural, not only to your surroundings but to who you are. There
is a flow and a grace to woman. A grace that can only be accomplished
through practice and attitude. You must act and think like who you are
is what you should be. Others will hear with their eyes what you are trying to say about yourself.
Feeling and acting natural is all that really matters. So right now half the readers are screaming... Rip Off! We want our money back! No Fair! ....Alright now, calm down missy, and cross those legs by the way. I am serious here.

If you want to look out of place then all you have to do is to act in a way that supports that visual.
If you subconsciously look down and away and your body language
projects insecurity and doubt, most people will look at you and not
think Why is that man in a dress?.... but more accurately... Why is that
person so uncomfortable in their own skin? Its less likely that they
will wonder why you are there, but more likely they will wonder why you
didn't keep your insecure flat @$$ home.

When a woman walks into the room she should do so with confidence
(not to be mistaken for being flamboyant). If how you look and how you
act seems the most natural thing to you and you smile and enjoy the fact
that you are where you belong, most people will see that energy and
respect your comfort. They certainly won't feel sorry for you. They
rightfully will conclude that any prejudices that they may chose to
inflict upon you will be a total waste of their time.

Simply put passing in public is acting and feeling natural in your surroundings.
Dress as most people around you are dressed, Act according to your
environment. If you believe you belong where you are, then so will
others. Refine your femininity and project the inside outside you'll live it and they'll get it, trust me.So passing is all about projecting who you are...with confidence. Am I a genetic woman? NO! I am a Transwoman and I pass as such. We all should be proud of who we are.

"But Lisa, I'm a just a crossdresser and I love club wear and exotic wear, I'll never pass...right?"

No! WRONG! You are not 'JUST' anything.
You are 'ALSO' which makes you 'more than', which should be looked at
as a huge plus. And besides that you will pass as a person who
celebrates his/her freedom. You will pass as someone who is not beholden
to the expectations of others. You WILL pass as a spirited individual
if you are not afraid to let your spirit shine.

There it is ...that is how we PASS.
We proudly present ourselves for who we are and that will get us a
passing grade every time. Ooh one more thing, if you are peeing standing
up that's not passing and that's not peeing, That's pissing and only
guys take a piss. You get a big fat incomplete in this course and have
to start over. Girls 'pee' or 'tinkle' and always remember you are a
girl, sit while you pee but if you 'wipe' yourself afterward give
yourself extra girlie points for taking passing to extremes...lol.

3 comments:

I remember the first time I read this and did comment on it where it was originally posted. Lisa has known me from the time I started transition and has been one of my biggest supporters through transition, and was also one of the first to affirm me as a woman.

I also remember the first time meeting Lisa in person, and while I had never heard her voice before that day, I couldn't have identified it as male in any way when I did hear it, but then Lisa is the real deal fully female in her words and actions, Not to mention even more beautiful in person than in her pictures.

Trust me Lisa does know what she is talking about, her method does work, but keep in mind it is anything but easy, and requires a lot of dedication and desire to be recognized as a woman the slightest hint of doubt on your part and everything falls apart around you.

Lisa what you have written should be part of the tgirls bible and taught in Daily Living 101. Your words are so true and spoken with such casual honesty as though you were speaking to your best friend. I know the advice you give works and it feeds upon itself. The more you practice it the easier it becomes and the more you want to do it. In a very short time it becomes and feels totally natural. I've felt the way you described for years but never put it into words. I'm so glad you did because it needs to be said.

One thing though you must admit that your looks do give you a bit of an advantage. What you say is very true but sometimes as I age I feel it would be easier to pass as a mummy than as a mommy. I think I've garnered all the vanity left on this planet as I desperately look for ways to fight Father Time. I know I am a girl forever but does forever have to come so soon.