I am not focusing on the pounds, I am focusing on the body fat %. I am not one to give up so I will do what I can. No offense but you don't know me or what I need to focus on. I want to serve and I am doing all that I can to get that opportunity. If the ARNG doesn't work out I still have the Air National Guard and the Navy Reserves.

Dont get an attitude with me Missy because I provide an opinion that you do not like to hear. Just because someone else provides a post that is supportive, and you gladly accept that contrasts with mine; does not mean you have to jump on an attack. I fought for my country and YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!

I dont know you but I provide advice by what you write. So unless you know anyone on her personally, nobody knows you but I been leading soldiers for a damn, long time so I can adequately provide real advice on people who want to serve; positive or negative. My active duty days probably is more than many of the posters lumped together. I do this job on a daily basis.

Nevertheless, I give you credit for your weight loss and have did before but that does mean you will be someone able to handle the rigors of military service; reserve or active (Army, Zoomie or Swabbie). You already informed us that you were kicked out (or requested to discharge) based on assumption that you were homosexual. Hey, you provided that information. You let people know your personal business.

Also, the military does not need to bow down for anyone who says "I WANT TO SERVE". So what? It is a privilege that you have to earn and you had the chance to and did not make it. And even though many people who are currently serving were given a second (or perhaps a third) does not mean you should be given that same right.

Again, I lead soldiers and the ones with many problems are the ones who have joined late in life. The ones I see that are very undisciplined or complaining are the many part-timers who are deployment (and their first time). I had to get chew some butts last night. Not fun, when you expect soldiers (adults) to cowboy up without constantly reminding them of what is right and what soldiers are supposed to do 24/7.

For older people joining, personally from observation and experience, there are more cons than pros and if you motivated yourself mentally to lose weight or body fat based on trying to get that second chance, then that is good but I am not going to sugarcoat a response because you do not like to read it. The recruiters could be dragging their assistance by what they observe or hear from you. I do not know but that is a possibility. They are not even obligated to even process qualified individuals. But they do since they have to fill a quota.

It is what it is. We are at WAR still!! Many enlistees want to join for "action", when they do not have a clue on the repercussions on someone getting killed; maimed or severely injured. Honestly, I think you just want to join just for the job prospects and because what happened the first time around. But I have a right to think whatever I want to.

This is a very serious organization and I am just tired of people's mentalities of what they think they should get when they come to military service and expect pity because they are giving effort now to come back in. Should of done it right the first time.

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And the reason for the tone of my post is because you have come out very disrespectful and rude to my posts towards you and this is not the first time. I have never disrespected you and you apologized the last time to me when you admitted your error.

I have given 22 years to my country and have helped many people who wanted to serve or re-enlist. You are trying to get where I am at. I am already here. I earned my retirement. I dont have to do this but I give people a no-BS response. That is how I am. If you are going to react to your superiors in the manner that you addressed me; you are going to have problems AGAIN.

I said "no offense" because I was not meaning it in any offensive or disrespectful way. I don't see how what I said is addressing you in any negative way but if that is the way you took it then I apologize. Sometimes text can be read a certain way that was not at all the way the writer intended it to be. I can take negative criticism but right now I am choosing to focus on the positives and where I have come. I l have lost 70 pounds, I am healthy, and I feel good about myself. I am going to continue working on myself and growing and improving every day.
As far as why I want to join? Ya the benefits are good and I hate what happened in 1995 but it is about wanting to serve my country and do my part. Again you have made assumptions about me and that is ok - you don't know me you are going to do that. All my life I wanted to serve and I was never so proud as I was the day I swore in in 1995 and never so disappointed and embarrassed as when I was sent home. My situation was complicated but the quick version is I panicked during "moment of truth" reporting about the going to counseling question. I asked if a guidance counselor mattered and they asked if it was education related, I said no, they wanted to know why, I told them I couldn't tell. I was told I had to and that it would be found out when the security clearance was done because they talk to our guidance counselors at our high schools. Being a naive kid I believed them like it was the word of God. I told them after a lengthy debate."I talked to my guidance counselor about possibly being gay." I was told "you shouldnt have said that" and the rest they say his history. And if you must know I am not gay, I was a confused kid that had been sexually abused and feared intimacy with men. I confused this fear with being gay and that was the whole reason for me talking to the guidance counselor - the military didn't care about that.
So, here is my dirty laundry. Take it any way you want.
I thank you for all you have done for this country and for the honesty you give us all. As I said, I meant no disrespect. Maybe how I read your post was not how you intended it; same may go for how you read mine. Regardless, I am working hard and staying positive against all odds because I have come too far to give up now.

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If you have been sexually abused, don't you find you may be at some risk for PTSD? I know a young girl that was just denied enlistment for mentioning at MEPS she had been sexually abused and they would not let her enlist.

If you have been sexually abused, don't you find you may be at some risk for PTSD? I know a young girl that was just denied enlistment for mentioning at MEPS she had been sexually abused and they would not let her enlist.

I have worked through my trauma and have no lasting effects with it. I was lucky to have had a very supportive family that helped me to work through it. Many people are sexually abused as children that you will never know about - it is sad haw many kids go though that. There mus have been more to the story at MEPS for your friend because sexual abuse as a child is not grounds for disqualification.
Anyway, thanks for your concern but I am fine.

If you have been sexually abused, don't you find you may be at some risk for PTSD?

There are a lot of things that can cause PTSD; a great many of us have experienced at least one of them. Unless there is some a priori reason to believe that having experienced sexual abuse will result in a potential recruit being less able to serve in his/her designated capacity, I do not see how this is at all relevant.

I said "no offense" because I was not meaning it in any offensive or disrespectful way. I don't see how what I said is addressing you in any negative way but if that is the way you took it then I apologize. Sometimes text can be read a certain way that was not at all the way the writer intended it to be. I can take negative criticism but right now I am choosing to focus on the positives and where I have come. I l have lost 70 pounds, I am healthy, and I feel good about myself. I am going to continue working on myself and growing and improving every day.
As far as why I want to join? Ya the benefits are good and I hate what happened in 1995 but it is about wanting to serve my country and do my part. Again you have made assumptions about me and that is ok - you don't know me you are going to do that. All my life I wanted to serve and I was never so proud as I was the day I swore in in 1995 and never so disappointed and embarrassed as when I was sent home. My situation was complicated but the quick version is I panicked during "moment of truth" reporting about the going to counseling question. I asked if a guidance counselor mattered and they asked if it was education related, I said no, they wanted to know why, I told them I couldn't tell. I was told I had to and that it would be found out when the security clearance was done because they talk to our guidance counselors at our high schools. Being a naive kid I believed them like it was the word of God. I told them after a lengthy debate."I talked to my guidance counselor about possibly being gay." I was told "you shouldnt have said that" and the rest they say his history. And if you must know I am not gay, I was a confused kid that had been sexually abused and feared intimacy with men. I confused this fear with being gay and that was the whole reason for me talking to the guidance counselor - the military didn't care about that.
So, here is my dirty laundry. Take it any way you want.
I thank you for all you have done for this country and for the honesty you give us all. As I said, I meant no disrespect. Maybe how I read your post was not how you intended it; same may go for how you read mine. Regardless, I am working hard and staying positive against all odds because I have come too far to give up now.

Robin, I admire your determination to get in shape. But let's be clear about something: you are trying to join the ranks of those of us who have volunteered to take up arms and destroy the enemies of the United States. That said, let's not kid ourselves; you will find many, many "soldiers" in the support MOSes who have no warrior spirit whatsoever and are scarcely distinguishable from civilians. But that is not the standard; you must aspire to be more than this.

This is not the civilian world; even if you succeed in losing the 100 lbs (since you began this process), no one is going to pat you on the back. You will have met the minimum standard, and that's all. That will not signify the end of your journey, or the beginning of the end, or even the end of the beginning -- it is just the beginning.

This cannot be about personal achievement or self-improvement. This cannot be about "unfinished business" from the last time you enlisted. Those are selfish motivations. Young recruits can have selfish motivation (I sure did) and develop themselves into soldiers who heed a higher call over time, but you are already well into adulthood. If you do not feel that calling now, you probably never will.

If you understand this "calling" to which I refer, and this isn't about proving something to yourself or others, then continue on your way. And once you meet the standard, it's time to pick up the pace in order to exceed it to the greatest extent of your ability. Your physical conditioning could actually determine whether or not one of your fellow soldiers lives or dies. Is that a likely scenario? No; but it is a possible one.

This is not the civilian world; even if you succeed in losing the 100 lbs (since you began this process), no one is going to pat you on the back. You will have met the minimum standard, and that's all. That will not signify the end of your journey, or the beginning of the end, or even the end of the beginning -- it is just the beginning.

This cannot be about personal achievement or self-improvement. This cannot be about "unfinished business" from the last time you enlisted. Those are selfish motivations. Young recruits can have selfish motivation (I sure did) and develop themselves into soldiers who heed a higher call over time, but you are already well into adulthood. If you do not feel that calling now, you probably never will.

I don't need anyone to pat me on the back. I am doing this for me. I wanted to be healthy and feel good about myself - not get patted on the back. It is nice to hear compliments from people who know me and have seen the transformation but that is not why I have done this. This has been a life changing experience for me that marked the beginning of a new way of life for me. A life where I feel good and healthy and not ashamed of my weight.

Maybe you missed when I said, "Ya the benefits are good and I hate what happened in 1995 but it is about wanting to serve my country and do my part." I just gave a background of what happened in 1995 because of a previous response from someone else. Do I want to make up my failure in 1996, yes of course I do. But, that is not my motivating factor for wanting to join.

You said, "Robin, I admire your determination to get in shape. But let's be clear about something: you are trying to join the ranks of those of us who have volunteered to take up arms and destroy the enemies of the United States. " I am not sure what you are getting at here. I do understand that I am trying to join the ranks of those that have volunteered to take up arms - I want to do my part in this as well and I fully understand that. What I don't understand is what that has to do with me getting into shape? I think I lost you there :-)

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There are a lot of things that can cause PTSD; a great many of us have experienced at least one of them. Unless there is some a priori reason to believe that having experienced sexual abuse will result in a potential recruit being less able to serve in his/her designated capacity, I do not see how this is at all relevant.

I wasn't trying to pry, sir. I just knew of a female who was denied enlistment based on sexual abuse that apparently DID cause PTSD, ut it wasn't realized/disclosed until an interview at MEPS. I wasn't implying robinpugs, in any way, has a diminished capacity to serve based on her experiences.

I don't need anyone to pat me on the back. I am doing this for me. I wanted to be healthy and feel good about myself - not get patted on the back. It is nice to hear compliments from people who know me and have seen the transformation but that is not why I have done this. This has been a life changing experience for me that marked the beginning of a new way of life for me. A life where I feel good and healthy and not ashamed of my weight.

Maybe you missed when I said, "Ya the benefits are good and I hate what happened in 1995 but it is about wanting to serve my country and do my part." I just gave a background of what happened in 1995 because of a previous response from someone else. Do I want to make up my failure in 1996, yes of course I do. But, that is not my motivating factor for wanting to join.

You don't have to justify yourself to me; I'm not your commanding officer. I offered you the same food for thought -- albeit slightly customized to your particular situation -- that I provide to all the potential recruits I speak with. Whether or not you can convince me of your worthiness to serve is irrelevant.

Also, you say you're "doing this for me," but that you want to "serve [your] country and do [your] part." This is a contradiction in terms. You should figure out exactly why you are doing this, and then move out smartly and follow the best course of action you can come up with.

Now, regarding the ambiguity of online communication. If there is even a hint of sarcasm in your suggestion that I "missed" a d@mn thing, you had better surgically remove those condescending tendencies right-freaking-now and make sure you never, ever let them creep up on you while you're talking to an NCO or officer. On the other hand, if it was accidental, I suggest that you consider the things you say and how you say them so as to avoid your words being misconstrued -- it can have dire consequences.

I wasn't trying to pry, sir. I just knew of a female who was denied enlistment based on sexual abuse that apparently DID cause PTSD, ut it wasn't realized/disclosed until an interview at MEPS. I wasn't implying robinpugs, in any way, has a diminished capacity to serve based on her experiences.

I apologize if I offended anyone.

No problem, Chris. I was just saying that there are myriad experiences which could cause an individual soldier to be more emotionally/psychologically fragile than the next, and cataloging everyone's exposure to them in order to determine some "super quotient" of soldiering aptitude isn't really useful. H3ll, if that was the case, one look at my childhood/upbringing would have disqualified me from being an 88M -- let alone an 11A!

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No problem, Chris. I was just saying that there are myriad experiences which could cause an individual soldier to be more emotionally/psychologically fragile than the next, and cataloging everyone's exposure to them in order to determine some "super quotient" of soldiering aptitude isn't really useful. H3ll, if that was the case, one look at my childhood/upbringing would have disqualified me from being an 88M -- let alone an 11A!

I completely agree and regardless of her answer, it was not really my business to even ask. I see hundreds of veterans a month in my civilian job and I am used to asking questions of a more personal nature, but is for a different purpose. The question really was irrelevant and has nothing to due with her issues at hand.

You don't have to justify yourself to me; I'm not your commanding officer. I offered you the same food for thought -- albeit slightly customized to your particular situation -- that I provide to all the potential recruits I speak with. Whether or not you can convince me of your worthiness to serve is irrelevant.

Also, you say you're "doing this for me," but that you want to "serve [your] country and do [your] part." This is a contradiction in terms. You should figure out exactly why you are doing this, and then move out smartly and follow the best course of action you can come up with.

Now, regarding the ambiguity of online communication. If there is even a hint of sarcasm in your suggestion that I "missed" a d@mn thing, you had better surgically remove those condescending tendencies right-freaking-now and make sure you never, ever let them creep up on you while you're talking to an NCO or officer. On the other hand, if it was accidental, I suggest that you consider the things you say and how you say them so as to avoid your words being misconstrued -- it can have dire consequences.

Good luck.

What I am saying is I am losing the weight for me not anyone else - not for praise or pats on the back. Me wanting to serve is because I want to serve and do my part.
And me asking if you missed something was an honest question. Sometimes in long posts I have overlook some things and based on your response it seemed as if that may have occurred since I wrote why I want to join. I would never be sarcastic or condescending to an NCO or Officer. I don' know you or your rank and that wasn't was I was doing anyway - it was an honest question.
I am not sure why me asking for advice on weight loss has turned into this but I would just assume get constructive advice or close this thread. Until now this thread has been great for me and I have received some great advice and tips that have helped me on this journey and I thank all of you for that. It seems like what I am trying to say is either not coming out right or being misconstrued or both so before I did a bigger hole trying to correct things and explaining myself I would like to get back to weight loss issues and advice :-)

So my preeval was sent to MEPS today. Now we have to wait for the assumed PDQ from MEPS and submit the paperwork to the ARNG Surgeon General and hope to get the approval to physical. If that does happen then I have to go to MEPS and by some miracle I pass weight or tape and everything else, get another assumed PDQ then submit a medical waiver to the Surgeon General. All this in 23 days or less! My recruiter told me that if he didn't think it was a possibility and if he didn't think I could possibly make tape then he wouldn't have wasted his or my time. I may get an extra 20 or so days from my active duty time...Fingers crossed...

Robin, I admire your determination to get in shape. But let's be clear about something: you are trying to join the ranks of those of us who have volunteered to take up arms and destroy the enemies of the United States. That said, let's not kid ourselves; you will find many, many "soldiers" in the support MOSes who have no warrior spirit whatsoever and are scarcely distinguishable from civilians. But that is not the standard; you must aspire to be more than this.

This is not the civilian world; even if you succeed in losing the 100 lbs (since you began this process), no one is going to pat you on the back. You will have met the minimum standard, and that's all. That will not signify the end of your journey, or the beginning of the end, or even the end of the beginning -- it is just the beginning.

This cannot be about personal achievement or self-improvement. This cannot be about "unfinished business" from the last time you enlisted. Those are selfish motivations. Young recruits can have selfish motivation (I sure did) and develop themselves into soldiers who heed a higher call over time, but you are already well into adulthood. If you do not feel that calling now, you probably never will.

If you understand this "calling" to which I refer, and this isn't about proving something to yourself or others, then continue on your way. And once you meet the standard, it's time to pick up the pace in order to exceed it to the greatest extent of your ability. Your physical conditioning could actually determine whether or not one of your fellow soldiers lives or dies. Is that a likely scenario? No; but it is a possible one.

Whichever path you choose, I wish you luck.

Excellent response.

And Robinpugs06, perhaps my words may have sounded cold and unmotivational but I always believe things happen for a reason and I do commend you on the drastic weight lose you have experienced for your well-being and health and sympathize on what you experienced as a young person. As a father of daughters; I will never want them to experience any kind of abuse or harm from any person. Your story makes me cringe to even think of them experiencing that type of pain.

But my point is that you should not place any harm on yourself (e.g. drastic diet; unhealthy eating or drastic PT) these last weeks so you can try to enlist in the ARNG. Yes, its commendable making the finish line losing then not to even get there. I get that.

Just have realistic expectations and understand if your goals are not attained. You still have options and if it is meant to be; it will happen.