About…

Ihssan Tahir is a twenty something self-proclaimed “SistaQueen” from Chicago. Raised by an Afrikan American mother and a Kurdish stepfather she has a broad perspective of the world. Ihssan has globe trotted from Switzerland to Bangladesh. Her most recent trip involved reuniting with long lost family for the first time in Northern Sudan. In her spare time she enjoys writing and practicing the violin. By profession, Ihssan is a registered nurse and specializes in emergency and trauma medicine. She has a deep passion for health care justice and works with several non-profit organizations that deal with health care reform and accessibility. You can follow her candid blog about love and life at https://muslimnlove.com/. For inquiries email: MUSLIMnLOVE@gmail.com

Finding traditional love in the modern world.

Single in Ramadan: An Action Plan

So, we are in the midst of another Ramadan and you just realized that you are *still* single.

Time to get those duas ready…

On a serious note…

Ramadan is a time filled with gatherings and social functions. With that being said it can be a lonely time for someone who is not connected to a particular community and even more lonesome for the single Muslim.

Let me help you understand.

I grew up in a practicing Muslim family. Needless to say Ramadan is a very big deal for my family and I. My mother will only cook certain foods during that time, such as her famous Turkish bread! The house stays decorated with bulb lights and our house is never empty. As a child my house was on and poppin’ during Ramadan!

When I got married I took the same energy to my own household. I enjoyed spending Ramadan with my then husband. We would attend social gatherings, the mosque and even break the fast at my family’s house. All of that was fun and exciting but the time I valued the most was when we would sit together and pray. There are many levels of intimacy that you share with a partner. Spiritual intimacy can be the most personal and uplifting. The first Ramadan I celebrated post divorce felt strange. Even though I didn’t miss him very much, I felt the void of being companion-less and needed the spiritual energy that I could only find in a partner.

I am going to give you some tips and pointers on how to combat this loneliness so you can make the most of your Ramadan.

1. Admit it. Dude, just face it. This is your reality. You are lonely and it is OK. Remember, its normal to want a partner. Like I always say, there are very few creatures that Allah created who live happily in solitude. The first way to address a problem is to admit that one exists. You are sick of being single. It’s not all its cracked up to be. Now, lets figure out solutions to combat how you are feeling!

2. Social Life 101. Take your social life to new heights. There is so much to do during this month. Find some other single Muslim folks and figure out what’s going on in your community. Find someone who you trust and lean on them when you feel lonely. There is no excuse to feel like you are “alone”, especially during Ramadan. Along with that, utilize Facebook and crash some iftars or lectures if need be. Even if you have to go to an iftar by yourself I recommend going! Unlock that social butterfly!

3. Keep Lookin’. Now if you are serious about finding a spouse then Ramadan is the best time to do so. You know Muslims come out the woodwork during this month! Keep them eyes wide open. Don’t blink. Attend more social gatherings, community iftars (breaking of the fast/dinner) and religious events. You never know, perhaps your future spouse is lurking around. Also, be sure to look your best during this month. Sistaqueens, pull out them fancy hijab. Make sure your eyeliner and eyebrows are on point! Brothas, wear your best oils and put lotion on them ashy ankles! Not only do you want to look good in the state of worship but you never know who is checking you out. Remember, I KIR (Keep It Real)…

4. Masjid hop. Attend a different mosque. Visit a community you have never been to. Praying in congregation will help lessen your loneliness. Do not isolate yourself. That’s the worst thing to do during Ramadan! This is a time for community involvement. Stay busy doing something.

If you are someone who has your social life on point then I highly recommend that you reach out to those who who need a little push.

May Allah reward you and allow you to take advantage of this blessed month…

I’m so glad I found your post, Ramadan was difficult for me, Eid more so, as a separated (but not divorced-yet Muslima), I felt so alone when everybody came home from Edi namaaz to be greeted by a spouse of child, I had no one. And I havent stopped crying from Eid until now because of it.