Friday, April 6, 2007

One game left to go in this miserable season, and finally we've seen some movement for the Oilers in this Race to the Bottom. A week ago, it looked like the best (?) outcome Edmonton could muster would be a fifth- or sixth-worst finish, but thankfully (?), a surprising bout of non-suckery on the Blackhawks' behalf that saw Chicago jump from 29th to 25th in the standings seems to have created a vacuum that allowed the Oilers to lazily tumble down to the 27 spot, or fourth-worst in the NHL. And really, it's about goddamned time. It would have been truly something remarkable if we had somehow managed to stay out of the bottom five while picking up just three points, one win and an OT loss, in our last 19 games.

And this is almost certainly as low as the Oilers can go. It is possible that we could squeeze into 28th spot if the Coyotes finish the season with two straight wins and we lose tomorrow night against Calgary, giving Phoenix 69 points and the tiebreaker with 32 wins, but that seems a little hopeful.

And speaking of hopeful and tomorrow night against Calgary, the final Battle of Alberta suddenly seems like it might be a game worth watching, as the Flames failed lost San Jose last night, giving the smouldering embers of Colorado's post-season hopes a brief gust of air. The Avalanche now lie three points back of the eighth-place Flames with two games to go in both team's schedules, and contributing to the misery of Flames fans with a win tomorrow night would go a long way to easing the pain of this torturous Oilers season. Bitter and petty? Absolutely, but they would do the same for us if our situations were reversed, and they would do it with glee.

Of course, this is all to ignore the fact that Edmonton has been, ahem, FUCKING AWFUL of late and couldn't be counted on to spoil the playoff dreams of a team like Calgary on the spoilingest day of their lives if they had an electrified spoiling machine. Still. I may just actually watch this game. Someone please fill me in on who's wearing what numbers so I feel a little less lost.

BONUS OILERS FACT NOOK

Did you know? Brad Winchester, who was once thought to be marginally good at hockey, has in fact nothing of value whatsoever to offer the Oilers, as his one goal and one assist in his last 41 games will attest. Yowza!

So what would we prefer? Beating Calgary and possibly ousting them from the playoffs, or losing and retaining our current draft position? On one hand, we're cheering for the Oilers to win, which is bad for the Oilers but even worse for the Flames. On the other hand, cheering for the Flames to win is good for the Oilers and even better for the Flames! In what kind of a parallel universe are we living in where cheering for the Flames in the Battle of Alberta is in the best interests of the Oilers!? What makes us worse fans? Wanting the Flames to miss out the playoffs, while potentially losing out in the draft lottery, essentially spiting our faces, or cheering for the Flames against the Oilers in any circumstances!? Boggles the mind.

If it's a choice between Calgary missing the playoffs and the Oilers getting a slightly shittier shitty draft pick, well, that ain't no choice at all. I want some kind of immediate gratification here, something to take away from this shitty season and I honestly don't care who the Oilers pick to not make the line up in three years. GOILERS!!!GOAVS!!