Monday, December 20, 2010

Diamonds do NOT equal love!

During the Christmas shopping season (yes, shopping season, because there no longer exists "fall" or "winter" - there is only shopping), the only thing worse than all of the perfume commercials sponsored by Macy's is the stupid jewelry ads promoted by the "Big 3": Kay Jewelers, Jared, and Zales. Am I the only woman who finds these jewelry commercials insulting?

First we have Jared, "the Galleria of Jewelry" as they call themselves, heavily promoting the latest trend of chocolate diamonds from Le Vian. Is it just me or does it seem weird to say "chocolate" and "diamonds" in the same sentence? A diamond is supposed to be a sparkling, flawless, crystal-clear treasure, and now we equate it to being a dessert - a dark, poop-colored stone that tastes delicious. Is this supposed to make us feel better about the African bloodshed and corruption that forever taints the mighty diamond for today's politically correct and globally aware woman?

Then we have Kay Jewelers and Zales with their outdated, chauvinistic views of men and the dumb broads stupid enough to fall for their silly pick-up lines. Zales has a female ice skater laughing as her man intentionally takes a tumble so that she can catch him, only to have him catch her because the mere sight of a diamond makes her falter (even tough she is clearly the better skater. And don't even get me started on how she looks to be 25 years younger than him.). And Kay Jewelers shows a macho dude comfort his meek lass when a streak of lightning throws her into his arms and he proclaims "I'm right here! and I always will be!"

BLECK!!!!!

Whatever happened to the diamond industry's promotion of the Right Hand Ring, the diamond ring that women bought for themselves?

Clearly, the women's movement for equality is wounded and forced backward a step each time these commercials are aired. Apparently, all women care about are big strong pieces of man-flesh who can buy expensive gems. With the divorce rate so high, a piece of jewelry does not equate to fidelity, and yet ad people everywhere wants us to believe that jewelry equals love. Hey guys, how about you take your money and spend it on more dinner dates and time spent developing lasting intimacy with your woman?