Archives for March 2006

Coming out on the other side of a dreary winter, it’s feeling like it’s hard for me to totally get into the swing of things these days. Pumpkin has had a major week, milestone-wise. She crawled (just a few times though, she still prefers rolling), she said “ma ma ma” (indescriminately, but I’ll take it), and she’s started to wave. She’s certainly more mobile, so I have spent a lot of time in pick-up mode — running around picking up tiny pieces of fluff that end up on our carpet from who knows where before she puts them in her mouth. I have to watch her with an even sharper Eagle Eye than before, and whew man, I’m exhausted! Is it sad to say that I had more time for personal emails and phone calls when I was working outside the home?!

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about friends that I’ve lost touch with along the way. It’s always amazing to realize that friends who I was once so in-tune with, spent so much time with, have completely fallen off the radar, with no reasons why. The friend that I spent the most time with during college I last saw at my wedding… nearly six years ago. And I miss her. I wonder what’s happened to her, and how her life is going. She was a unique person, so creative and funny and our bond over music, histories, and creative pursuits was so different from any of my other friendships. And now? I have no idea what she is doing, or where she is, and that makes me sad.

One of my best friends lives less than five miles away from me, and I’ve not seen her in two months! When we spoke yesterday I said to her, “I saw you more frequently when you lived 30 miles away.” We promised we’d do lunch next week, but, sadly, with her, I know that those plans were probably “penciled-in” – as she’s not the most reliable friend I’ve got.

And the rest of us? The ones I keep in touch with all the time? We’ve all got so much on our plates right now – busy, obligations with work and family life, and things just have a way of getting away from us. It’s hard, but I’m hoping that there will soon be light at the end of the tunnel. I’m hoping that once tax season is over, life will be less chaotic in our house and I’ll be able to plan to have a life a bit outside my house.

To my friends that I haven’t been doing the best job keeping up with – know that I’m thinking of you and I miss you.

Sunday, Hubby and I were driving home from the mall with the kids and in the back, The Princess and Stepson were singing the theme to WonderPets and Pumpkin was pulling her socks off in her carseat and kicking and babbling, and Hubby and I kept looking at each other and laughing. “When did this become our life?” I asked him. He said, “I know, we’ve got the minivan, WonderPets, and the baby…”

We started talking about this girl I’d seen while shopping at the mall (Hubby was marooned at the playland with the kids). She had to have been maybe eight years old, wearing an extremely cropped t-shirt with a short denim jacket (which wasn’t zipped or buttoned closed). Her skirt was short and she wore it with tights and some sort of shoes with a heel. She wasn’t even ten years old and dressing like a hooker already! I said to Hubby (paraphrasing a quote that I’ve seen a bit of recently), “It’s a parent’s job to keep your daughter off the pole!” Here is this girl wearing an outfit that would NOT have passed muster with me on so many levels – and on all of the cases, her parents (who she was apparently WITH at the mall) let them slide. Okay, if you’re NOT opposed to your daughter dressing beyond her years, why aren’t you opposed to her dressing in styles that don’t fit (skirt too tight, too short – top too short, etc)? If you’re not opposed to her dressing in ill-fitting clothes, why wouldn’t you be opposed to her dressing like it’s 70 degrees out, when it’s maybe 40 degrees? On so many levels, these parents had an opportunity… no, a responsibility… to tell this girl, “That outfit is NOT something you are leaving the house in,” and they chose not to.

I guess I can be a judgemental mommy when I want to as well.

Hubby told me, “Our girls are going to have it rough, because I already know that none of that kind of stuff is going to fly with me.”

We talked about music – how are we going to feel when/if The Princess starts listening to some hardcore music with profanity? Hubby and I were unsure – a) because we remember doing that as kids (As he reminded me, “Do you remember ‘2 Live Crew’?”), and b) because we still do listen to music with profanity on occasion. Hubby said, “I know it will bother me.” I felt that it would depend on the context of the language – I won’t like music that is degrading to women or violent. It’s amazing to think how different it can be when it’s our own kids…

They are only 3 (The Princess will be 4 in exactly two months!) and 8 months, and already, to think of the effects our day to day actions have on the people they are becoming and will become. Scary and promising all at the same time. There is a huge opportunity to do great things when you are raising a child – but terrifyingly enough, there’s also that fear of making mistakes.

I don’t look forward to dating and clothing wars, but I’m hoping that all the years I have leading in to that, Hubby and I can do our best to instill our values and help our girls develop character that will make their teen years easier for all of us. And of course, keep these girls off the pole.

The downside to staying at home/working from home is that essentially, my days sort of blur together. This means that really a Friday is no different than a Tuesday, for all intents and purposes (especially during tax season). But – still, psychologically, Friday is a good thing to me.

Today, however, was full of very few good things – especially since my day started at 4:15 a.m. Yes, you read right: 4:15 a.m. All that sleep Pumpkin did yesterday? Well, it really came back to bite me in the butt because at several hours before the crack of dawn, she was awake. I thought to myself, okay, I’ll feed her, and put her back to bed. Um. No such luck. I had her back in her crib by 4:30ish – and she started crying and crying. By the time Hubby’s alarm went off at 5, he’d decided to just get her up and out, because really at that point, no one was getting any sleep, and the yelling would only serve to wake The Princess up earlier as well.

I got up and took over with Pumpkin so he could get ready for work – Hubby left, and The Princess was up by 5:30! (At this point, you have to be wondering what on earth is wrong with these kids – all day, no where special to go – why wouldn’t they want to sleep? Their mommy sure wanted to!!). Let’s add to the mix the fact that the cable company was supposed to come out to replace our universal remote between 8 and 10 a.m. I thought we could get out and about after that – that running errands might help perk us all up… but when 10:20 rolled around with no sign of the cable guy, I called.

And found this out – whoever scheduled our appointment SCREWED up. Instead of booking the 8-10 a.m. block like I was told, she put it in as “any time between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.” Fantastic. I wanted to sit around all day. Sit we did, as the cable guy didn’t show up until 4:30 this afternoon!!

At that point, I was ready to screech, seeing as how he was technically over six hours late, and adding to that fun mix – Pumpkin had essentially refused to nap all day. From 4:15 this a.m. until 7 p.m., I would say she got maybe an hour of sleep – it was hideous. This whole day, I’ve been a zombie with two freakishly wide-awake children. Aaaaaaah.

By the time Hubby got home (early – as he was sleep-walking too), I was about ready to collapse in a heap on the floor (not really, I’m just being dramatic, so don’t mind me). I told him that I’m just burned out – being a tax season widow is probably harder on me than being a CPA is on him! Smart smart man that he is, he merely asked, “What can I do to make things easier for you?” Which is how come Sunday I will be going out shopping BY MYSELF for a bit. And, how he will be on daddy wake up duty tonight.

I can’t seem to comment to blogs requiring passwords today – the above continues to be my word that I have to type, and I can’t tell if it’s S-M-E-N-I-T-A or S-R-N-E-N-I-T-A!

I keep thinking, Okay, I’ll screw it up and it will give me different letters. But – no such luck.

So – to answer comments – Emily, yeah, the Carpet Flick is like a sticky tape thing – Hubby said we might as well wrap our feet with tape and walk around. Um, whatever. But The Princess is loving her “quiet vacuum”, so… fine by me.

Pumpkin is snoozing for her second nap of the day (two hours so far this time) after sleeping all night. I have no idea – do babies have a growth spurt around 8 months?

I bought a Swiffer Carpet Flick at Walmart today. The Princess has been “Flick-ing” all of our carpets, and I’m actually pretty impressed with this goofy orange thing. It’s quiet, it’s light, and it’s getting all the crap off my floor.

The only part that grosses me out is the amount of crap on my floor. Ick.

My floor looks almost decent and I haven’t had to do any work. This could be the best $12.50 I’ve spent (this week, anyway).

I’ve recently decided that the pain was starting to outweigh the guilt.

The pain of nursing Pumpkin, that is.

After nearly 8 months of exclusively feeding her breastmilk (sorry for my friends who get skeevy at the thought!), the past few months of mastitis have caused such tremendous pain that I have decided that we will start the process of weaning. I’m on my second round of (useless) antibiotics, and folksy remedies don’t appear to be helping either.

Sunday, I gave Pumpkin two ounces of formula and she gleefully sucked that bottle dry and looked at me like, “More?”

Yesterday, it was like pulling teeth to get her to take even an ounce.

Today, she took an ounce… then stopped.

My aim was to replace was feeding each week with formula – do this gradually and kindly. But – it’s not working so well. My mom suggested I might need to try another type of bottle (we are using Avent bottles, as that is what we had left from The Princess – who took them fine). I will be shopping and finding another bottle to try – any recommendations?

This momstuff is riddled with so much to feel good and bad about – nearly 8 months is nothing to be ashamed of – I’ve really done quite well. The Princess only nursed for 5 months (I weaned because with working full time outside the home while she was in daycare, I just couldn’t keep up with her demand). The Princess, if you don’t know her, turned out JUST FINE. Getting three more months of breastfeeding with Pumpkin was a huge accomplishment and I’m blessed I was able and willing to do that… but now that I’m ready to wean, I’m actually having more guilt that it’s so hard. When she took that bottle so well Sunday I felt, Wow – I was worried for nothing! And since subsequent attempts have not gone as well, I am back in the depths of the guilt – How dare I do this to my baby? She obviously doesn’t want formula?

I am having a hard time being cute and witty – would love suggestions, recommendation and support from those who have spent time in these trenches and lived to tell about it!

The Princess: Mommy, daddy and I are playing library. Would you like to check out a book?Me: Sure, I’ll check out this one. I just love “Bear Snores On”.The Princess: Well over here is the payor, so slide the book through.Me: Like this?The Princess: Yes, like that. Would you like debit or credit, mommy?