Archive for Uncategorized

The Quality of Life for all People is Dependent upon
the Quality of Our Society

Protecting children from maltreatment must become a priority or our society will continue our descent toward creating unhealthy, unbalanced, fear driven generations who are left without the life skills or know how to lead a good life.

School, social media, religion, care homes and society in general have become a battlefield in recent years causing great concern for individuals tasked with promoting the well-being of children whether they be teachers, religious leaders, parents or students themselves.

With the diverse culture in our society, it is still possible to achieve a code of conduct that survives the test of diversity if it is designed in a way that everyone can benefit through adherence to policies. For this environment to be truly effective, guidelines must be established and apply to everyone, for if they don’t apply to everyone, they apply to no one.

When we recognize the importance of everyone, we can co-exist in an environment when we know that all persons are valued equally.

Creating win-win solutions allows for an exceptional environment that promotes education, inspiration, safety and above all else, integrity. It is from the spirit of integrity that we can protect all people who are connected to these facilities regardless of their position in the system.

For many reasons there is concern that components of our society need to be addressed, modified and rewritten to reflect the truth about our human nature. When we have a better understanding of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical needs, we can guide younger generations to aspire to grow into being the best version of them self.

As new guidelines are being developed, rewritten and put in place, we can remain true to our values to help everyone come from a place of integrity. With the empowerment of integrity, we can create environments which elevates everyone’s self esteem and sense of confidence. When we anchor our intentions with integrity, it strengthens our inner core helping people to thrive to their maximum potential.

For the individuals who work with children there
are basic caveats to guide you such as:

Always have the best intention for the person(s)
you are working with as your primary objective

Stay true to yourself and your integrity

Always come from a place of truth

Encourage self-development and growth when
appropriate

Remove yourself if you are in conflict of interest

Above all else, Do No Harm

In knowing your intentions are for the highest good for all parties involved, we can also outline what behaviors are not to be embarked upon.

Negative environments can affect anyone, and because children in particular are impressionable, they can spiral downwards if exposed to it for a short or a prolonged period of time. This can have detrimental and long term effects on them making it more difficult to participate in, enjoy and feel inspired in life.

Children
model after adults. Emotionally well-adjusted adults are what children need to
guide them and protect them until they are mature enough and able to make
healthy decisions for themselves. Children need adults to look out for their
well-being, not only the adults in their immediate family, but the adults they
come across at various junctures in their lives through various organizations
and associations.

Emotionally well-adjusted adults consider the consequences their actions and behaviours will have on the child five, ten and even fifteen years down the road before they undertake them, where non-emotionally adjusted adults don’t have the skills to discern the difference.

The following are specific behaviors to avoid as they can cause incredible harm to a developing child.

Harmful Behaviours

Physical abuse

Physical abuse includes all acts by a caregiver, or another person (including another child, teacher, coach, clergy or person who has access to the child) which results in the physical harm to the child.

It may be the result of physical abuse or the result of
inappropriate or excessive discipline regardless of the intent by the person
inflicting the abuse.

It is irrelevant whether the injury to the child is
considered minor or major; the responsibility and accountability fall to the person inflicting the abuse.

Examples:

hurting a child to control their behaviour

deliberate or not; use of physical punishment resulting in
injury whether marks are left on the
child or not

physical injury
that occurs resulting from lack of care
or supervision by the caregiver or an adult/older child

excessive tickling

physical injury
resulting from shaken infant syndrome

whiplash

Intellectual Abuse

Intellectual Abuse involves the interfering with or impairing the reasoning skills of a child, which alters a child’s ability to discern and use proper judgement to form opinions and to distinguish between truth and lies.

These
behaviours include but are not limited to

manipulation of the child’s thoughts so the child will draw a conclusion that the
controller wants them to believe.

telling lies to a child with the intention of having the
child believe those lies are a reality.

threatening a child, with the intent of having the child
behave a certain way for the benefit of
the person doing the threatening.

not taking a child’s concerns seriously when they tell
you of incidents of bullying or abuse.

Telling children to resolve their own issues when they
are being bullied by another child.

manipulating the people around the child
with the intent of interfering with the child’s intellectual environment.

Sexual Abuse

For
the most part, child sexual abuse involves a person who has power or influence
over a child. This power can stem from that person’s authority, age,
intellectual or physical development, relationship, authority or power over, or
dependence with the child. It can include age or predatory nature of another
child or adult who encourages or forces a child into sexual activities.

Sexual
abuse encompasses any sexual activity with a child, including but not limited
to

fondling

genital stimulation

oral sex

grinding your genitals up against a child under the
pretense of giving a body hug or otherwise

using fingers, penis, or objects for vaginal or anal
penetration

touching a child in a sexual way

promoting or demanding unsafe sex

kissing inappropriately

using a child for their own sexual gratification,
exploitation, or for financial or other gain
(payment for drugs or debts)

forcing or encouraging a child to touch another
adult/child in a sexual way

forcing or encouraging a child to touch him/herself for another person’s gratification

masturbating in front of a child or
forcing/coercing/encouraging them to masturbate themselves with or without the
intent of having the child achieve orgasm

rape, either vaginal or anal

voyeurism

sexual dialogue with or in front of children

inappropriate displays of sexual expression in front of
children

forcing or encouraging a child to participate in
pornography or prostitution

sexual comments directed to or about a child encouraging others to be offside with the child
(e.g. “Look everyone, little _______, is developing breasts”)

male or female genital mutilation or threat of

Emotional Abuse

Emotional
abuse is a pattern of overt or covert behaviour
directed towards a child with a goal of controlling or reducing the esteem of the
child. Understanding there is a consequence for everything we do and say is a
great reminder of how powerful our words and actions are.

These
behaviours include but are not limited
to:

a pattern of attacking a child’s sense of
worth and/or emotional development

criticizing a child’s actions, looks, feelings, dress, etc.

belittling a child

threatening: “If you don’t conform….”

threatening a child’s loved one(s) or
family, if a child does not behave a certain way

teasing

humiliating

Spiritual Abuse

There are many different viewpoints regarding spirituality and what it means. There are believers and non-believers that our spirituality is a part of the human condition. As there seems to be gravitation toward spirituality again, it is timely to examine the merits of it. Although everyone has the right to decide for them self what is right for them, for the believers, spirituality contributes to our sense of wholeness. Spirituality and religion can be, but are not necessarily inclusive.

Some
religious organizations advocate for marriage with girls under age 18. For
many, and rightly so, this is considered abuse because most 18-year-old girls
are not mature enough to choose a mate for themselves wisely. Wouldn’t it be
wonderful if we could act in the best interest of the children when it comes to
human sexuality?

For
many, our spirituality involves our feeling of wholeness and our connectedness
to our own sense of inner and divine guidance. It is the integration of the
mind, body and soul within itself and with our connection to all that is around
us. It also influences how we interact within the world around us including our
relationship with nature. It also involves believing in a power or force that is
greater than our individual, physical selves. This power goes by many names depending on your belief. Source, source of energy, spirit, universe, God, Allah,
and Creator are some of the more common terms used. For many, the above words are synonymous with all encompassing,
unconditional love and are sourced in divinity. Spirituality is all
encompassing and involves how we express who we are with others and in the
environment around us. It is what unites us as one.

For
many, spirituality is found by turning to their own intuition, inner wisdom,
and higher consciousness for divine guidance. This can be achieved either
through prayer, meditation and various practices in energy work. Some people prefer
to use a combination of both inner guidance (prayer and meditation), and outer
reinforcement (from religious/spiritual groups) to enhance their spiritual
connection. Spending time alone in quiet contemplation, in prayer or in meditation
is a gentle way to reacquaint yourself with your spiritual practices.

Deeper
meaning in life cannot be found through intellect alone. To experience deeper
meaning in life, one must look within. Spirituality
can help facilitate deeper appreciation when you encompass all aspects of your
inner self. It is by mastering our inner world
that we find true meaning of life.

Accessing
our spirituality requires we spend time alone to cultivate our ability to use
our inner divine guidance as we process the choices that are presented to us in
life.

Inward
reflection can be encouraged in children at an early age. By encouraging them
to spend time alone with their own thoughts, feelings, inner awareness,
hobbies, creative interests and to connect with nature prepares them to turn to
their own intuition later in life as they go about establishing their
priorities and choices. Creative expression and passion can also develop into a
life purpose as they mature and can be the foundation they use to build a
relationship with themselves.

Developing
the ability to turn to your own inner guidance is instrumental in being able to
learn to trust your own judgment as one matures into adulthood. To grow up guided
by one’s principles requires preparation and an examination of one’s priorities
and values. As one learns to trust their own guidance, it will help them as
they are faced with life’s situations, and the subsequent actions they take
based on their decisions.

~ ~ ~

I
hope you have found the tips in this ‘Oath’ helpful. Most people want to
provide an environment of safety on all fronts for all members of society.

Knowing what not to do as you interact with others is as important as getting it right. Knowing this can provide everyone with confidence as they interact with others and it goes a long way in creating trust in the areas that service our youth. By knowing both what to do and what not to do and why, you create an environment where everyone is, and does, feel safe.

If we want to effect positive change, it helps to stop repeating the same patterns of communicating and interacting especially if they have created problems for us in the past. If we don’t make those changes in our communication patterns and how we interact with others, it makes it difficult to expect anything to change around us for the better.

By reviewing our communication patterns and our intentions, issues can be addressed and redirected, and can better reflect the needs of all of society’s members.

As a model for best practices, I, (name)___________________am aligned with the above oath and pledge to follow the guidelines as prescribed as they are in the best interest of children while in my care.

If
you know of anyone person, group or organization interested in having and
following the best of intentions to protect children through taking the ‘Oath
To Do No Harm,’ they can contact us through our website at
www.endinggloballoneliness.com

The above Oath is provided by Sandy Glaze. Sandy Glaze is a Personal Transformational Coach who specializes in self-development and interpersonal relationships. She is a Certified Strategic Intervention and an Advanced Relationship Coach, published author and speaker.

There seems to be an energetic shift emerging sparked by enthusiasm and a zest for making a difference in the world. With that enthusiasm one realizes the importance of surrounding yourself with people who share the same energy, values and sense of purpose. As the saying goes, your vibe attracts your tribe.

The following three steps show you how to find your tribe:

Identify role models who you admire and who are doing what you want to do. By doing so you can identify attributes you hold dear. Look for factors based on their sense of value personally over factors that are monetarily based.

Know who you are and what you offer. Take the factors you have listed in step one and determine which ones apply to you. By defining you in this way, you know what you are looking for, saving time and energy.

Identify the services or skills you offer to others. By knowing what you have to offer, you can bring value to your tribe. Making other’s lives easier is a win-win for everyone. Giving first before you expect to receive will in itself attract connection.

We live in exciting times. People are awakening to a new way of living and creating a greater sense of community. We each have unique gifts and skills to add to the movement. The most important step for you to be part of the change is to know who you are and what you offer. Once you know that, your confidence will automatically attract new and supportive people your way.

We would love to have you be part of our tribe. Take a tour of our website www.endinggloballoneliness.com and learn more about how you can help be the change you want to see in the world.

Thank you for sharing your time with me. I hope you have been inspired to expand your circle of like-minded people. If you have learned tips and pointers that your friends and family can use, please share this blog. If you would like even more pointers, get your copy of Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships.