Let me tell you about that one time I wanted to rob a bank and how I thought I could get away with it.

Dear Kellan-

Lezzzz be honest here we all know what the fandom is losing their minds over right now and it’s NOT you and it’s definitely not the question I asked you last week at Comic Con about what you would do if you weren’t an actor which sent you into a 15 minute tangent about inventing and getting away with bank robberies. Honestly, it was the most entertaining 15 minutes of the afternoon and if it was just you and me we could have gotten weird with it and talked about how you could make whatever hovel you live in, in the Valley, the new Menlo Park but really like 4 people would have found that interesting, me and White Yorkie (who was with me) being two of them. We would have also asked you if your board game nights with Ashley Greene involved more Candy Land or Settlers of Catan or whether she likes Green Smoothies and if you guys were prayer partners or what ever really happened with Anna Lynne McCord. Sadly, it was not a solo interview and we had to share but we loved it any way and we appreciated your quite unusual response and the oddly specifics details with which you provided. We LOVE unusual and oddly specific, I mean look around.

I’m a wILd aND CrrAAzZZzzYY guy, can’t you tell?!

So regardless of the melee that is happening right now (and srsly, we love it) we love you. I mean you were our first letter after all. You inspired this shit. Congrats. Now next time we wanna talk more about your inventions and less about Emmett’s work out routine. Alone.

Kellan: Invent. I love inventing, that’s my first passion. So I would just love to create a bunch of patents, I have a book of 50 right now. So I’d love to be a mad scientist who plays around with chemistry, and solves all the world’s problems and creates a few of them himself.

Did you ever have a mad scientist lab kit when you were a kid?

Kellan: I did. I still do. It’s kind of grown to a “Ren and Stimpy” kind of lab, which is fun.

Kellan: Him and Albert Einstein, they’re both so ahead of our time. It’s just fascinating to read about them, what their theories are on loopholes and everything else. It’s fascinating stuff.

And if you could play one in a movie, who would you play?

Kellan: Young Albert Einstein.

Jackson: Not Tesla?

Kellan: Tesla is great! Tesla I actually deal with – I have this thing called the Cop Stopper that deals with Tesla’s technology. It’s like a Pokémon ball and you push the button- I want to rob a bank so much – and I’m from the Midwest, so we have like one bank, no security cameras, and so I designed this thing, and I
always wondered, you know I watch “Cops” all the time – why doesn’t a drug dealer design a trap door under their car? ‘Cause cops don’t have cameras under the cars, they get you for throwing stuff out the window! If you got a trap door under your car, boom! You would run over it. It would be genius. They would get out of so much. But my Cop Stopper was a Pokémon ball that you push the button and then Tesla’s coils go in and the chemical compound reactions go, so it’s an electrical ball so once you throw it out the window usually, in my idea of robbing a bank, I’d go through an alley way, and what this Pokémon ball would do, is it hits the metal of the cop car (everyone starts laughing)… see you got me going here! It hits the metal of the cop car and drains it completely dead, so the lead cop car stops, stopping all the other pursuing cop cars and you get away Scott free!