Wanderings of a soprano, sometimes alto, choral singer turned mom

As I write this second letter to you, you sleep beside me peacefully as if reminding mommy that whatever happens we all get a reset button at night and wake up the next morning feeling a bit more hopeful that things will be better.

I decided to write you another letter after seeing a question posted on my Facebook Newsfeed. It was from one of momma’s mentors. The question was simple but very eye opening: What keeps you hopeful about the future of our country?

The answer came to me oh-so quickly, the everyday heroes who worked hard for the future of their family and you. You my little one.

You keep momma going, always striving to be a better version of myself day in and day out. Not because I want to be this woman who is hailed by her colleagues as a super woman, but because I want you to be proud of me. I want to set up a good example for you, but not setting up an environment of extreme pressure. I just want you to see that you do not need to pretend to be somebody else, you do not need to study any specific course, you do not need to think about money, you just need to follow your heart and find the one thing you are passionate about. Once you find that spark that motivates you to continue learning and playing, you will do good. Oh I know it will be further down the road, but I want you to know that I will provide you, we will provide you the support system that you need.

Oh my little one, you keep me inspired day in and day out. You keep me smiling and laughing with your silly little gestures. The gaze you have whenever you nurse makes momma’s heart melt, I guess that is why you are my source of hope. Your eyes, so innocent and so wide as if saying momma you are the best. Your little laughs whenever you make fun of your face or whenever we tickle you fills any room with utter joy that we just cannot explain. Your little rain face, so cute so playful. You did it over and over again tonight, you know. I whispered to your dad that I think the reason why you were doing it over and over again was because it made momma laugh. You repeated it for almost 20 minutes, you silly little girl. You even did it while you were nursing! Even if you were half asleep you still repeated it over and over again, until finally I had to scold you for you to stop.

Your dad and I think that you missed momma so much that is why you continue doing things that make momma smile and laugh. I’m so sorry I had to stay away from your for more than a week. Momma had chicken pox that is why daddy advised me that I can’t carry you or kiss you goodnight. It was as if I was instructed to not drink or breathe, bunny. But I had to for you.

I will keep this letter short little bunny. You changed me, before I needed yoga sessions to keep my cool but now one look at you and your little smile can keep me calm and motivated all day long. I love you forever, I love you always, forever and always you are mommy’s little girl