Survival…..LIFE…

November 6, 2015

Distance

I never expect this person in my life.At first I was dreaming about a man whom I’m chatting with for almost 3 months however,I didn’t feel I’m special and his priority.He showed interest at first but it didn’t last.I thought he’s the one I need but I realized,he’s really not into me.I told myself,I wont fall for someone too much because I feel like they are all the same.They will hurt you over and over again.And then one day,this man showed up and surprised me with lightning and thunder.I never expect him to reply in my hello greeting.At first I’m not really interested in him but I like him coz he’s nice and because we’re similar.His profile is interesting and I’m very comfortable with him.Our conversation was just a plain storytelling scenario starting with how are you and ends with thanks and smiley.He asked me my skype ID but i didn’t want to give it at first because I’m afraid in a face to face conversation.I’m not good at it and its my first time to agree in a video chatting.It was awkward at first and that is normal.I didn’t know what to say at first and I can’t think properly.It was a moment where I have to stay cool and kinda interesting to impressed this specie in front of me.Its an easy way to express myself just to listen and agree with what he is saying but in my mind,I have no idea what to say with this man and it was like I wanted to burst into laughter.Our first talk was enough for me to say he’s such a gentleman.I always expect man from net as the worst people that you will meet because most of them we’re asshole who only think sex is the main point of talking in a dating site.He was polite,gentle,nice and talkative in a good way.He managed to make me feel comfortable and make things work out for both of us.I enjoyed his stories and felt like I could listen to him all day.I’m a typical weirdo,who enjoys being alone and doesn’t talk much to those people whom I’m not closed with.I really have no idea why I like him,not only because he’s nice,caring and loving person but because I feel different when I talked to him which allows me to be myself with a person I only knew for just weeks.He inspires me so much with passion in his career and with his life that’s why words can’t explain how much he means to me.Its easy to fall in love with someone who shows efforts and sincerity not only with words but also in action to show you the love he wants to give.I’m used to be alone in the past and I’m fine with it.I only have dreams for myself and think only just for myself.I didn’t care if I die alone(just only sometimes when I’m in my emo mode) and I don’t imagine myself with someone in my future.However,everything changed in just a snap.Now,change of plans and I do create my dreams with this man I really love.He is now part of my drawing which gives color to every lines and every space in my creation.A rainbow that shows after the rain which hugs my whole being.

Sometimes,I wish I could fast forward time to see if it’s worth it.I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say I don’t doubt in this relationship if its gonna work because we’re thousand miles away from each other.Its hard to try things if your afraid to loose but they say if you don’t try,you’ll never know what could happen.He’s my game changer,I take a risk and wanted to experience new beginning in my unique life.

Falling in love is a crazy thing to do but I will never give up on you because our love is true and forever I wanted to be me and you.