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Monday, June 29, 2015

Wedding Celebrations/Traditions

I married into a large family.My husband is one of 8 children, a typical
Irish Catholic family, a phenomenon from another era.I’m one of 4, all of us born within 5 years,
another variation of the Irish Catholic practice of the ‘50’s.Between the two of us we have 10 siblings.

Fast forward to the present.My children who are in their early thirties have 25 first cousins.My three kids are very close to all of their
first cousins and even some second cousins thanks to my father-in-law who focused
on what he cared about most—family. His insistence
that we get together numerous times a year resulted in my husband and I being close
to all these kids as well.

We are now at the stage of weddings and new babies.It’s a time in our lives I always figured
would be intense since these 28 young people are all approximately the same
age.It’s even more intense than I
expected. We are averaging three weddings a year, and now come the new
babies.All of this means showers, a lot
of them.

In my younger and more self-absorbed days, despite my love
for weddings (they are, after all, big extravagant parties and I love parties),
I hated showers.Such a time waster I
thought, and so boring.Now I’m not so
sure.I’m starting to think that
showers, along with so many of the other rituals, including weddings, serve an
important purpose.It’s a time to come
together as a family and welcome the new people, the incoming family.An opportunity, I now realize, to also see
the new person in a different light and get to know her family, learn where
she’s from, how she grew up.

It also smooths the way for the weddings.By the time you get to the big day you’ve met
these other women, and their families,.Come the years ahead, these people should be part of each others’
families and be a support for each other.

At the last shower I attended I sat at a table with my two
sisters-in-law, one of my daughters and the bride’s three aunts.By the end of lunch (after a couple of
glasses of wine) we were warming up with “Sweet Caroline.”You have to know this is going to be some
wedding.

I know that’s not always the case.There are families that are so diametrically
opposed, say the Hatfields and McCoys or the Capulets and the Montagues, that
no matter what is said or done, there will never be a meeting of the minds,
much less a joint endeavor and mutual wish that the couple be happy.Romeo & Juliet makes a great story—the
classic built-in problem that will make the reader stick with your book until
the end.

But in life?Better
that there be two families that like each other and get along right from the
start.That’s the kind of scenario that
will support a marriage and shore up a couple when there is sickness and
trouble.

Deborah Nolan is the author of Suddenly Lily and Conflict of
Interest, both published by Montlake, and Second Act for Carrie Armstrong,
published by Desert Breeze Publishing.She is also a lawyer, representing children in Columbia County, New
York.She divides her time between
Columbia County and New York City.Visit
her at www.deborahmnolan.blogspot.com

A former Maplewood, New Jersey, resident and New Jersey Deputy Attorney General who represented the state's child protection agency, the Division of Youth and Family Services, Deborah's first romantic suspense was published in August of 2009. Deborah has been writing for twenty plus years, but only after leaving the AG's office to write full time did her writing career begin in earnest. She now divides her time between Manhattan and Hudson, New York, where she and her husband have a farm. When she's not writing and submitting, she is taking the art classes that she promised herself before retiring and visiting her three children. Despite "retirement," Deborah continues to work as an attorney in Columbia County, NY, representing children.