Many
of you have emailed for my advice about coming out in
high school (or coming
out in
middle school, or coming
out to parents...)
Good question!

My
short answer: Coming out is a very personal decision
(possibly one of the milestone decisions in your life) and only you can decide
if, how, with
whom, and when
to come out.

My
long answer: Coming out can be a very freeing thing. You no longer have to
hide who you are, censor what your say, and watch what you do. Being honest and
open enables you to feel confident about yourself and more able to form closer
relationships with people.

But
because homophobia is so pervasive in our society, you never know how others will
react. Some people may accept you immediately, others may take a while, and others
may never accept you, even though you're the same person you were before you came
out. A big part of coming out is whether you're prepared to deal with anti-gay
reactions that may come from your being open.

There
is no rush to come out. TAKE YOUR TIME. The most important thing is that YOU love
and accept yourself for who you are. Don't do anything before you feel ready.
It's your life and your choice.

In
order to help you in your decision, ask yourself:

What
kind of views do your friends, teachers, and family have about gay and lesbian
people?

Do you have emotional support? (friends, relatives, teachers,
a pastor)

Are you financially dependent on your family?

Make
sure you have thought out your decision, have a plan and supportive people you
can turn to. And be prepared for the reactions your family or loved ones may have.
They may need time to adjust to your news, the same way you have needed time to
come to terms with yourself.

Also, you might want to first talk with
other young people by contacting one of the organizations on my
Youth Resources
page.

Remember,
whatever you decide is OKAY. Only you can decide what's best in your life at any
given moment.