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Wii Are Not Amused

So, as I said in my last post, it's time to start getting back to the regular routine. And that includes my daily stint on the Wii Fit.

I think I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating: I am NOT one of those cute pregnant girls. You know the ones who look like they've shoved a beach ball into their dress? The ones whose arms, legs, faces, and rear-ends remain svelte and un-dimpled while their adorable "baby bump" pokes out in front? Yeah ... that's SO not me. With my oldest son, I gained eighty pounds; with my second, NINETY. That's like strapping a fourth-grader to my midsection, folks - not pretty. By the time I'm nearing my due date, I'm forced to wear the most maternal of maternity clothes: tentlike garments with gaudy bows or other dumb embellishments. Because when you get that big, you just run out of choices. (As if people weren't already gawking with disbelief at my massive size, they also get to "tsk-tsk" my horrible taste. Fun!)

With each pregnancy, I've sworn not to gain an excessive amount. Obviously that hasn't worked well for the first two, but the third time's a charm - right? I haven't packed on as many pounds so far, and I credit that to my six- to seven-day-a-week Wii Fit regimen. For at least thirty minutes, I heave my hefty self on and off the balance board in a movement that resembles step aerobics (only fatter). Whatever it is, it gets my heart pumping, which I figure is the point.

I don't know why I'm so faithful to my Wii Fit, though. That thing is borderline abusive. It tosses the occasional crumb of encouragement, but for the most part it's a passive-aggressive punisher. It didn't acknowledge my 30th hour of exercise, or my 50th day - though it keeps track of those things. Instead, it sweetly points out that I'm now in the "obese" category (I can't tell it that I'm pregnant!) and suggests that I may be neglecting my child. Yes, really! See for yourself!

(That was in response to the stupid thing asking me about Colin's posture lately - a question which came out of left field - and me choosing "about the same" as an answer.)

Anyway, despite the abuse (or maybe because of it - I'm a glutton for punishment), I persist. And though I haven't set foot on the thing for two weeks now - a fact which I'm positive will not go unnoticed and un-scolded - I'm going to get back on it today and hope to negate the effects of my recent stay at Junk Food Central, a.k.a. my mother-in-law's house.