Shocking incident with TriMet

Tonight, we observed an incident with TriMet that shook us to our very core–a sight we never thought we would live to see. I felt compelled to submit feedback at their website. Here it is, reproduced faithfully.

I am alarmed to report that the driver of this bus can only be an extraterrestrial, a new driver, or a non-union driver. This evening, while following behind this bus at a safe distance (lest you say we were tailgating and cannot possibly have seen what we saw), we observed your “driver” to not only slow down, but actually come to a FULL STOP at a red light while eastbound on Lombard. When this happened, we knew something must be wrong, as normally your drivers approach this intersection as they would an opportunity to limit population growth. Your driver is to be commended for following laws (this one time) that the rest of us observe all the time. Please commend them, even if this is normally a firing offense.