Appearance of children in public

I'm one of those people who hate to see dirty little kids out in public, and have had judgmental thoughts towards the parents of said children.

This past weekend we were out at a plant nursery looking for plants, oddly enough, for our landscaping. This place has a neat little tree house & other things scattered around for kids to play on & explore. So as hubby & I are figuring out what to get our boys are playing, having a great time, and getting filthy. By the time we leave it's almost 1pm & we have little to nothing for lunch at home so we decide to go eat at a fast food place. We had some baby wipes in the car, so we cleaned up their hands & faces. I was looking at them when we were eating & they all looked a wreck, but still adorable. Hair was all crazy from sweating in their hats & their clothes were dirty. I quickly became self conscious about what others may be thinking about me and my dirty kids out in public. Something along the lines of, "Oh look at that poor family...and she has another one on the way...tsk, tsk, tsk."

Do I just need to get over myself? Or do others think the same sorts of things when they see dirty kids in public? Maybe we should have taken more care to see what they looked like before we went in... What are your thoughts?

Probably not a totally HT, but curious what others will say...

I'm one of those people who hate to see dirty little kids out in public, and have had judgmental thoughts towards the parents of said children.

This past weekend we were out at a plant nursery looking for plants, oddly enough, for our landscaping. This place has a neat little tree house & other things scattered around for kids to play on & explore. So as hubby & I are figuring out what to get our boys are playing, having a great time, and getting filthy. By the time we leave it's almost 1pm & we have little to nothing for lunch at home so we decide to go eat at a fast food place. We had some baby wipes in the car, so we cleaned up their hands & faces. I was looking at them when we were eating & they all looked a wreck, but still adorable. Hair was all crazy from sweating in their hats & their clothes were dirty. I quickly became self conscious about what others may be thinking about me and my dirty kids out in public. Something along the lines of, "Oh look at that poor family...and she has another one on the way...tsk, tsk, tsk."

Do I just need to get over myself? Or do others think the same sorts of things when they see dirty kids in public? Maybe we should have taken more care to see what they looked like before we went in... What are your thoughts?

I used to be really bad about that. I still dont like to see barefeet kids that I know can walk and their feet are all dirty or what have you. But other than that sometimes it happens. I have all boys and sometimes they are just a mess by the time we get somewhere else because of the last place we have been. I still wonder in the back of my mind though what someone might think but Im not as obcessive about it anymore

I used to be really bad about that. I still dont like to see barefeet kids that I know can walk and their feet are all dirty or what have you. But other than that sometimes it happens. I have all boys and sometimes they are just a mess by the time we get somewhere else because of the last place we have been. I still wonder in the back of my mind though what someone might think but Im not as obcessive about it anymore

I actually am more judgmental about perfectly dressed, neat, tidy and clean children. I wonder if they ever play or if their house is super sterilized. Kids get dirty. Are we supposed to always have spare outfits or run home in the middle if errands to clean them up?

I say we tend to worry more about what others might think while those "others" could probably care less.

I actually am more judgmental about perfectly dressed, neat, tidy and clean children. I wonder if they ever play or if their house is super sterilized. Kids get dirty. Are we supposed to always have spare outfits or run home in the middle if errands to clean them up?

I say we tend to worry more about what others might think while those "others" could probably care less.

I guess I don't judge parents for their children being messy because, well, that is what kids are. If the whole family looks unkempt, that is a different story, or if I can smell the children. I also pass judgment on parents who bring their children out late at night (I used to work at Applebees) or parents who dress their children wrong for the weather.

I guess I don't judge parents for their children being messy because, well, that is what kids are. If the whole family looks unkempt, that is a different story, or if I can smell the children. I also pass judgment on parents who bring their children out late at night (I used to work at Applebees) or parents who dress their children wrong for the weather.

I am very particular about how my child looks in public. I see nothing wrong with it. My father was the same. Even when we had little money growing up, our shoes and clothes were always clean. He would lick his hanky and wipe our faces! It was awful and we would try to wiggle away lol. I want my kids to look nice and I make sure they do. I have friends that will let their little ones go places with food all over their clothes and face. I don't understand why they cannot take a few extra minutes to clean them up before leaving.

I am very particular about how my child looks in public. I see nothing wrong with it. My father was the same. Even when we had little money growing up, our shoes and clothes were always clean. He would lick his hanky and wipe our faces! It was awful and we would try to wiggle away lol. I want my kids to look nice and I make sure they do. I have friends that will let their little ones go places with food all over their clothes and face. I don't understand why they cannot take a few extra minutes to clean them up before leaving.

I hope your opinion on the time of day that children are out is based on their age. I took my baby grocery shopping at a 24-hour store after 10pm multiple times because we were on her schedule. It was a win-win situation since at home we wouldn't have been sleeping anyway, and all the SLOW little old ladies were already at home and in bed making for a nice, quick shopping experience.Â

Â Now, as for toddlers and up, I agree. Past a certain time of night they really ought to be in bed!

I hope your opinion on the time of day that children are out is based on their age. I took my baby grocery shopping at a 24-hour store after 10pm multiple times because we were on her schedule. It was a win-win situation since at home we wouldn't have been sleeping anyway, and all the SLOW little old ladies were already at home and in bed making for a nice, quick shopping experience.Â

Â Now, as for toddlers and up, I agree. Past a certain time of night they really ought to be in bed!

I was brought up that in order to go out in public I should make myself presentable. I abide by that still, and project it onto my child. We always both have a change of clothes in the car, and she doesn't get held without a receiving blanket under her since she's been known to spew spit-up at the most random of times.Â

If kids are a bit messy I usually look at the parents. If the parents are disheveled and out in Juicy Couture pj's then I assume the worst. If the parents seem to be decently groomed then I attribute it to kids will be kids, since different families have different standards of decency, and being a little messy isn't the end of the world.Â

I was brought up that in order to go out in public I should make myself presentable. I abide by that still, and project it onto my child. We always both have a change of clothes in the car, and she doesn't get held without a receiving blanket under her since she's been known to spew spit-up at the most random of times.Â

If kids are a bit messy I usually look at the parents. If the parents are disheveled and out in Juicy Couture pj's then I assume the worst. If the parents seem to be decently groomed then I attribute it to kids will be kids, since different families have different standards of decency, and being a little messy isn't the end of the world.Â

Babies are different, babies sleep all damn day, they can go grocery shopping at 11pm.

When I worked in Applebees we had half priced appetizers after 9pm. We used to get families in there until 1130pm. It used to make me sad because their toddlers were wondering, "Mom, why am I awake and eating french fries right now?"

Babies are different, babies sleep all damn day, they can go grocery shopping at 11pm.

When I worked in Applebees we had half priced appetizers after 9pm. We used to get families in there until 1130pm. It used to make me sad because their toddlers were wondering, "Mom, why am I awake and eating french fries right now?"

I semi-care about dirty kids in public. I always dress my kids up for town. I bring two pairs of clothes, always. One pair goes in the car and the other goes in the diaper bag. If we are at home I dont really care unless I am having company. My toddler doesn't like to get dirty so I really can't judge. My best friend's kid is dirty after a minute of being outside.

I semi-care about dirty kids in public. I always dress my kids up for town. I bring two pairs of clothes, always. One pair goes in the car and the other goes in the diaper bag. If we are at home I dont really care unless I am having company. My toddler doesn't like to get dirty so I really can't judge. My best friend's kid is dirty after a minute of being outside.

I am always very fussy about how the boys look in public. I actually feel embarassed if we go out somewhere and I realize one of the boys have a dirty shirt on. I do my best to always make them change into clean clothes before we leave.

Funny thing is though I don't really pay attention to other people's kids. Like a PP, I notice if they are dressed wrong for the weather, but not if they are dirty or not.

I hate my kids being dirty. It drives me crazy, but I have two boys so I am crazy all the time.

edited because I keep typing like a drunk person...which I am not unfortunately.

I am always very fussy about how the boys look in public. I actually feel embarassed if we go out somewhere and I realize one of the boys have a dirty shirt on. I do my best to always make them change into clean clothes before we leave.

Funny thing is though I don't really pay attention to other people's kids. Like a PP, I notice if they are dressed wrong for the weather, but not if they are dirty or not.

I hate my kids being dirty. It drives me crazy, but I have two boys so I am crazy all the time.

edited because I keep typing like a drunk person...which I am not unfortunately.

DH takes the kids out in mismatched clothes, hair not brushed, dirty faces. Drives me nuts. I think I have a bigger problem with kids showing up at school like that. If you're running to the mall, out for a Saturday, whatever. Kids get dirty. When I drop my kids off at 8:00 in the morning, it makes me sad to see the number of kids that looked un cared for. Mostly because you know they are being categorized by other students and teachers. Just makes me want to hug them.

DH takes the kids out in mismatched clothes, hair not brushed, dirty faces. Drives me nuts. I think I have a bigger problem with kids showing up at school like that. If you're running to the mall, out for a Saturday, whatever. Kids get dirty. When I drop my kids off at 8:00 in the morning, it makes me sad to see the number of kids that looked un cared for. Mostly because you know they are being categorized by other students and teachers. Just makes me want to hug them.

I would think it wouldn't matter what age they are, if they are getting enough sleep who cares what time they go to bed, you judge a parent based on the child's age without knowing anything.I work until 1am, so in order to function I need my 2 yr old to let me sleep in, therefore we've extended her bedtime. She goes to bed anywhere from 10pm to midnight, but she sleeps as long as she needs to, usually till around 10pm, plus she still gets a 3 hour nap in the late afternoon. My late night child gets more sleep in a 24 hour period than my day working friends who have to wake their toddler up to go to daycare.

I would think it wouldn't matter what age they are, if they are getting enough sleep who cares what time they go to bed, you judge a parent based on the child's age without knowing anything.I work until 1am, so in order to function I need my 2 yr old to let me sleep in, therefore we've extended her bedtime. She goes to bed anywhere from 10pm to midnight, but she sleeps as long as she needs to, usually till around 10pm, plus she still gets a 3 hour nap in the late afternoon. My late night child gets more sleep in a 24 hour period than my day working friends who have to wake their toddler up to go to daycare.

I'm pretty OCD about being clean, and it's hard for me to get past that - and I find myself not really wanting too. I take pride in cleanliness...

But.. if people don't care what I think, well..then they don't care.

I have a permanent diaper bag in the car with an extra outfit in there and a small towel. (Since baby wipes dry out if left too long) and some extra diapers. (I don't care a diaper bag anymore or use a stroller anymore)

so if something happens I have an extra outfit.

Do I get that stuff happens and kids get dirty? yes.. but I still judge. Oh well.

I do judge.

I'm pretty OCD about being clean, and it's hard for me to get past that - and I find myself not really wanting too. I take pride in cleanliness...

But.. if people don't care what I think, well..then they don't care.

I have a permanent diaper bag in the car with an extra outfit in there and a small towel. (Since baby wipes dry out if left too long) and some extra diapers. (I don't care a diaper bag anymore or use a stroller anymore)

so if something happens I have an extra outfit.

Do I get that stuff happens and kids get dirty? yes.. but I still judge. Oh well.

My parents didn't make sure I looked presentable in school. they also raised me to be a total spazzy jackass. Needless to say, I had no friends until high school....

One thing that made me extra crazy now that I realized it, is they never taught me manners, and to this day I don't remember to say thank you or anything like that. I remember as a child everyone thought I was a rude little ****.>:( Errr

My parents didn't make sure I looked presentable in school. they also raised me to be a total spazzy jackass. Needless to say, I had no friends until high school....

One thing that made me extra crazy now that I realized it, is they never taught me manners, and to this day I don't remember to say thank you or anything like that. I remember as a child everyone thought I was a rude little ****.>:( Errr

I used to look at dirty kids and cringe and then my child turned one and insisted on always feeding herself.....I change her clothes multiple times a day, I wash her face, and I attempt to keep her looking clean, but there is always a layer of goo on her now a days, she gets food all over her sleeves, but she gets a bath everynight,.so now If I see a dirty rumpled kid, or a jam covered toddler I assume mom is in a hurry and they had a blast playing today. but if they're filthy, you know black footed,crusty stained shirts, greasy hair...then I judge.

I used to look at dirty kids and cringe and then my child turned one and insisted on always feeding herself.....I change her clothes multiple times a day, I wash her face, and I attempt to keep her looking clean, but there is always a layer of goo on her now a days, she gets food all over her sleeves, but she gets a bath everynight,.so now If I see a dirty rumpled kid, or a jam covered toddler I assume mom is in a hurry and they had a blast playing today. but if they're filthy, you know black footed,crusty stained shirts, greasy hair...then I judge.

I definitely notice other kids and their cleanliness when we are out in
public but since having my own kids I find I judge less because I know
how hard it is sometimes to make sure they are pristine. That being
said, I definitely make sure (as best I can) that my kids are clean,
well groomed and their clothing is stain free. I used to be a classroom
teacher and some of my students would come to school with dirty clothes,
they smelled and it was clear they hadn't bathed or washed their hair
in a few days. Dirty fingernails are a huge pet peeve of my mine. GAG!!
Funny thing, I taught in an upscale community so I found it surprising
how some parents sent their kids to school like that yet those same parents were also
dressed to the nines.Sometimes I think I care too much about how my kids are dressed, etc. but I would rather care too much than not enough.

I definitely notice other kids and their cleanliness when we are out in
public but since having my own kids I find I judge less because I know
how hard it is sometimes to make sure they are pristine. That being
said, I definitely make sure (as best I can) that my kids are clean,
well groomed and their clothing is stain free. I used to be a classroom
teacher and some of my students would come to school with dirty clothes,
they smelled and it was clear they hadn't bathed or washed their hair
in a few days. Dirty fingernails are a huge pet peeve of my mine. GAG!!
Funny thing, I taught in an upscale community so I found it surprising
how some parents sent their kids to school like that yet those same parents were also
dressed to the nines.Sometimes I think I care too much about how my kids are dressed, etc. but I would rather care too much than not enough.

My 2year old is bathed, wearing clean clothes and hair neat and tidy every morning. When we are about to leave I always make sure she's clean and tidy I do take spare clothes and baby wipes but if she gets a little mucky while were out I'm not concerned. I think you can see the difference between a dirty kid and a kid who has had a fun day! If people wanna judge my parenting because my dd has had fun let them, I know she's looked after as does anybody who knows her. And she's happy, fun and extremely polite. That's good enough for me x

My 2year old is bathed, wearing clean clothes and hair neat and tidy every morning. When we are about to leave I always make sure she's clean and tidy I do take spare clothes and baby wipes but if she gets a little mucky while were out I'm not concerned. I think you can see the difference between a dirty kid and a kid who has had a fun day! If people wanna judge my parenting because my dd has had fun let them, I know she's looked after as does anybody who knows her. And she's happy, fun and extremely polite. That's good enough for me x

I could care less what your kid looks like. I'm more concerned about what my kid looks like :)She wears mismatched socks, but so do I, and so does my mom...

Anyway, back to the point, if I see a "dirty little kid" I think that who cares, the child is probably having too much fun to settle down and get clean, and who would want to wash up a kid after every single time that he or she gets dirty, I'd rather have a good ol time and save the bath for bedtime. (I'd do a wipe down if she were super messy..)

ETA: Your, as in general your... I re-read it, and that came off rude.

I could care less what your kid looks like. I'm more concerned about what my kid looks like :)She wears mismatched socks, but so do I, and so does my mom...

Anyway, back to the point, if I see a "dirty little kid" I think that who cares, the child is probably having too much fun to settle down and get clean, and who would want to wash up a kid after every single time that he or she gets dirty, I'd rather have a good ol time and save the bath for bedtime. (I'd do a wipe down if she were super messy..)

ETA: Your, as in general your... I re-read it, and that came off rude.

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