Self Improvement

3 Ways to Resolve Arguments in Your Relationship

02/01/16

Relationships are interesting. For 2 months, 6 months, or a year everything is great. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can do no wrong. They make you happy, you make them laugh, and the newness of everything is exciting. This is referred to as the “Honeymoon Phase” and unfortunately it doesn’t last forever. Reality eventually sets in as both of you get more comfortable together. Arguments will arise. These arguments may be serious or minor. Below are a few simple steps you can take to overcome and resolve arguments in your relationship.

Communicate
Go figure, right? How can you solve a problem if you don’t know what the exact problem is yet? It’s important both parties communicate the reasons why they are upset. More often than not, especially in longer relationships, these reasons are deeply rooted in bigger issues. Not cleaning up your mess at your girlfriend’s place may bother her because she likes to keep things clean. Over time she may feel disrespected if you continue to leave a mess. Eventually this small, easily solvable issue, has snowballed into something way bigger. So when you ask “What’s wrong? Why are you so upset over something so trivial?” don’t be surprised when she communicates the underlying issues.

The takeaway: Get to the real reasons why someone is upset to avoid issues snowballing out of control.

Listen
Waiting for your turn to talk isn’t listening. Actually listen to what they say so you can understand everything more clearly. This takes a lot of patience and empathy. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Would you also be upset? Clarify what they tell you to understand them better. The entire point of this is to understand what it is that can be fixed.

The takeaway: Listen. Then communicate yourself.

To be happy or to be right?
Relationships are tough and at a certain point during an argument you have to ask yourself if you want to be happy or if you want to be right? What’s more important to you? You have to let go of your ego to be happy. Which is ironic that it is so difficult because who doesn’t want to be happy. Give it one try and I promise your brain will remember the feeling the next time an argument arises and you are again faced with this decision. Being right only perpetuates the argument because after all, everyone wants to be right.

The takeaway: Try to let go of your ego and do what is best for both of you.