Still laughing almost 14 hours later......

He's was hanging out with some kids who lived up the road from the group home. Two brothers living in a trailer. Their Mom and her boyfriend live behind the boys. The boys (according to Dude) barter, trade stuff like 4 wheelers, bicycles, mopeds, dirt bikes a lot. (I know - but this is HIS story).

So he's befriended these kids. For some unknown reason they got kicked out of their trailer. SO now they have the daunting task (Dudes words not mine) of cleaning all this [[momcensored dude apologized]] words. So Dude in his infinite packrat minded state offers to take some bike parts, the moped a 4 wheeler frame and a motor off another 4 wheeler that will not fit - but gives him something to work on and keeps him out of trouble.

The LIGHT BULB moment here is that he asked for a title to the moped and GOT IT. He did not get a bill of sale, and he didn't get the boys to write out what they GAVE him - but he went back to the home and fixed the moped, put lights on it, and then fixed the broken bicycles into one bike with spare parts. He even painted it, cleaned all the rust off and it looked good.

He was proud of fixing the bike - so he rode that until he got money for gas for the moped. The boy couldn't believe he fixed the bike - but freaked when Dude rode up on the moped. Then told him he wanted the moped back. Dude said no deal. Then he said that if he didn't give him the bike back he would tell everyone he stole it and get him kicked out of the group home. And dude said 4get you - you gave me that stuff.

Well the group home owner told him to keep peace in the valley give the bike back. And Dude wanted to take it apart and give it back to him like HE got it - but he didn't. And the boys somehow obtained Dudes moped - but Dude fixed it so that no one could ride it if it was stolen. Last night - the group home owner and Dude were to make the exchange and then no more being at each others homes.

With this - Dude calls me to tell me the story (and I am thinking Does this qualify as Drama I don't need in my life? I mean really? But it is communication from an otherwise very quite, closemouthed of late child. So I listened as he tells me he dyed his hair blond, the bike moped story, and then I asked him if he was still friends with those boys. And he said -

Quote (as I wrote it down)

"They aren't friends they are only acquaintences Mom. Real friends don't do you like that. But you know what Mom? Those kids get EVERYTHING, 4 wheelers, bikes, mopeds and they always tear it up - within a day or two of getting it. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING they get or have always tearing stuff up and leaving it lay around- unreal." enquote

At this point I cover my mouth to avoid screaming out laughter - this child has had many, many things bikes, go carts, moped, mini bike- and tore EVERYTHING APART.

WHAT would you call this? I told DF and he is STILL shaking his head and repeating the quote - they don't appreciate anything -

Mine is the same way. He'll comment on how his cousins have all this stuff that they don't take care of but doesn't or wont' see himself in that category! He was in the office one time in fifth grade after a rage/meltdown. Another kid deep in the throes of a good rage was brought in. difficult child took one look at the kid and told the secretary, "Don't tell me that's what I look like because I'm not like that" Uh huh.....you're just a precious little angel.

Maybe.....Maybe dude is learning? Is it possible that with observing these other kids the light "on" is just beginning to glow? Maybe it won't be too far down the road that dude puts 2 and 2 together and apply it to himself.

I dunno. Nichole has shown she CAN learn from watching someone else. It just takes alot longer for her to process that learning to apply to HERSELF. lol

Still, can't blame you for laughing at his silliness.

Travis didn't get the whole "taking everything apart" thing til he was the one paying for the stuff he was taking apart. Odd, I don't see things in pieces these days.

Rob had those moments of clarity when he was younger. He couldn't self-reflect but he could sure dish out "therapy-speak" to listening audiences, especially in group therapy sessions at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He was Mr-Wonderful-I-Shouldn't-Be-Here-Because-I'm-So-Smart.

Still...those moments of clarity were the first glimmer that lessons *might* be settling in his subconscious.

And those moments of clarity become more frequent the older he gets.

I remember laughing with heartache and with disdain. It's almost impossible to resist, isn't it? But therein lies the glimmer of hope, Starbie.

Your difficult child sounds so much like my difficult child, before his trip to Arizona with nothing but a duffle bag and his acoustic guitar in tow. It was almost like there was a string missing in his brain that kept him from connecting the dots.... his judgement of others and failure to see that he was the same.

But one of his first comments on returning was "I didn't realize that I had so much stuff".

Well of course he knows what EVERYONE ELSE should be like and do. Of course he can see everything THEY are doing wrong...hahaha. I think that's more of a maturity thing than a difficult child thing though. So many of us didn't realize how much our parents gave of themselves only to have us destroy it, take it apart, take them for granted, take a really really long to time to see it. Haha.

I'm glad that the light bulb went on, if only for that moment. My difficult child is always preaching to her friends what they "should" do and telling us incredulously how awful they are to their parents and how they are spoiled and get away with murder.