Johnny Depp To Star As 'Superhero' Version Of Harry Houdini In A Film We Can All Agree To Avoid

Johnny Depp, coming off the disappointing Transcendence and the continued string of paycheck films that alienate his older fans and water down the memories of his earlier, more memorable roles, has selected his latest project—he will play escape artist Harry Houdini.

But wait. In the film, Houdini won’t just be an escape artist as he was in reality. Oh, man.

Oh, no. Wait. In the film, Houdini will be a spy. “Part Indiana Jones and part Sherlock Holmes.” Jesus, Johnny, really?

Oh, here it comes. In fact, the film will find Houdini battling the occult. And it will be called The Secret Life of Houdini: The Making of America’s First Superhero, because apparently someone needed to outdo Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice as worst title ever.