It’s Christmas morning for soccer nerds. They get like six weeks of fake nerding out on the World Cup. This is my favorite time every four years when American soccer fans want to be Euro fans so bad. Just watch when the U.S. team plays. The soccer dorks will give extra effort because they know cameras from around the world will be on them and jumping around like idiots is how you’re supposed to act at a soccer game.

And then they’ll start jumping around to “Seven Nation Army” because that’s what soccer fans do. All of them. Get a new fucking song, losers.