On... commercials.

Over the last three months or so of watching National Football League action, I've seen a particular ad for a particular Apple product innumerable times. Here's that ad:

Each viewing of this commercial brings me no closer to any inkling of what the selling point is (other than you now have color choices for your iPod), or at least how it's supposed to appeal to me. Granted, I'm not looking to purchase a digital music player, but an ad that makes its pitch solely on the availability of different colors, without any mention of why it might be superior to other digital music players, isn't going to spring me from the couch and make me run to the Apple Store.

So, choreography of inanimate objects doesn't move the meter for me. What about choreography of people and inanimate objects? Nope. See also the commercial for Microsoft's answer to the iPad, the Surface:

The description under the YouTube video says that "[f]rom touch to type, office to living room, from your screen to the big screen, you can see more, share more, and do more with Surface." I don't see any of that. I see a fantasy that came out of the mind of some ad executive or other allegedly "creative" type, and was subsequently vomited onto digital media. (EDIT: it's not so much of a fantasy after all. It has a resemblance to a flash mob, which only provides a better foundation for my point. I can't stand flash mobs.) Speaking of fantasy, that reminds me of...

Seriously? Your product will transmogrify its user from crazy cat lady to attractive social butterfly who runs in at least one of the same social circles as Drew Brees? To put it mildly, I'm not convinced.

And while we're on the subject of attractive ladies, let's talk about the current Wendy's campaign. I happened to be eating at a Wendy's just this evening, when I heard a young man at an adjacent table sing, to the tune of Deck the Halls, "mozzarella la la, la la, la la..." I had a napkin in my left hand at the time, and the hand clenched into a fist around the napkin upon hearing that. Here's the short form of that ad:

The 30-second version includes an ending where the redheaded lady asks, "is there supposed to be a puddle under the snowman?" implying that one of the young ones had urinated in an unapproved location. This string of ads, others of which can be viewed here, here, and here, caused to happen something that I never thought could - I'd turn against a lady of the ginger persuasion. The sing-song voice, the condescending tone, the tagline of "now that's better," as if her special touch improves the situation by leaps and bounds - I find none of it endearing. But all this time I've spent thinking and writing about these ads may be having the intended effect; perhaps I'll try one of these sandwiches the next time I find myself in the mood for Wendy's.