Mental health..struggling

I have the perinatal mental health team next week and honestly im struggling. With my first they came to house.
With my second i had psychosis so had the full mental heath team.
With my 3rd i stayed on medication.

This time im off meds and waiting for this perinatal appointment...

Honestly im so scared i dont "deserve" nother baby. The consultant led uni in my county was taken away and its an hour on a good to the unit..

Which is known (and ive given birth there before so can confirm) for being crap and not listening

I want to give birth in my mlu is possible but im also terrified of needing a tranfer...even by ambulance its gonna be and hour.

I read today how the service changes has ment lrecious lives lost and its set me in a spin

Part of me want to sit in bed for the next 15 weeks and just hope she is safe..

Comments (8)

Hey hun. I am a FTM (first time mum) and suffered with anxiety before falling pregnant. I have generalised anxiety but since seeing those 2 lines on a pregnancy test my anxiety has definitely focused itself on bump. I worry CONSTANTLY that something is wrong and my mood has taken a hit because of it. I’ll sit on the sofa at night trying to focus on movements and practically bite my husbands head off if he dares distract my attention away. I essentially daren’t do anything “normal” for fear of hurting her, it’s gerting quite ridiculous. I have a consultant appointment in a few weeks due to my anxiety so will see what they say then! Hope you feel better, stay strong! And never feel like you don’t deserve your beautiful baby! We are all stronger than we realise X

Hey hunny ofc you deserve your baby and I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not expieriencing what you're going through RN but I can relate to mental health in a fashion. I had anxiety/depression and stress issues so much so I got so stressed I ended up with bells palsy and I was in bad relationships to the point they've left big issues like PCD and crippling anxiety. All i have been thinking this entire pregnancy is 'why am I so lucky good things don't happen to me and something's going to go wrong' (took me a very long time to get pregnant in the first place) or I'll read something or see something on tv where something goes wrong with pregnancy and depending on how I'm feeling I can convince myself it'll happen to me! Or I don't feel like I deserve it sometimes and I can work myself into such a state I won't go out and I won't sleep and days seem like they're years long and I want to stay in or in triage where I can keep my baby safe. I have been in therapy ect but it doesn't help me.
Only I can help me because I know myself and my patterns and triggers and lately I've been using thought patterns of.. for example.. 'having a pram that concretes my baby's coming' or 'why not me? Im a good person and ive tried and ive been blessed' and i surround myself with more positives and when i feel a negativity spout trying to build up I actually get a cup of tea and stand outside in the fresh air and look up at the stars/clouds and ground myself and redirect my attention.

It's very very hard when you end up in a destructive pattern and sometimes it feels like the end of the world but you can't have good without bad or bad without good. All i can say is take what you want from what people tell you and advise you and make something unique that works for you and 'try' not to worry too far into the future just trust that the path will illuminate when it's time. It will get better and you're not alone and I'm sending you the best of luck and love xxxxx

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It’s good that you are having perinatal team involvement- don’t read too much about the precious lives lost articles as they will have their own agenda. Try to write down what you are feeling so when you go for your consultant appointment they know how you are feeling- they can then plan your delivery around your preferences and what will make you feel safest. If you are feeling really bad, don’t be afraid to see your midwife or GP, sometimes just talking about things can help. Do you have a local MIND unit (mental health charity)? They can sometimes provide advocates so if you feel you aren’t being listened to, they will make sure your views are heard.

Please keep us updated on how you are feeling. Sending you gentle hugs- be kind to yourself. If you would not say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself! Xx

Im so concious of my mental health slipping as i know how easily it happens for me.

I want my birth to be relaxed and the consultant led unit an hour away is incredibly stressful.
I guess i need reasurance the ambulance transport from the mlu is effcetive enough. And what they do if there is a wait for the ambulance.

Im trying to enjoy this pregnancy best i cam as 4 is our number to complete our family.

I am struggling also, I have been diagnosed with perinatal OCD and depression. I was started on Sertraline at the weekend and side effects this week have been horrific. I have a massive fear of contamination and struggle to go to any medical environment, dr/hospital etc. I forced myself to go meet my local perinatal mental health nurse this week. I thought she was really supportive gave me lots of things to think about. But I have literally just got an email from her saying if I chose to stay with my private therapist and psychiatrist ( I have been with my therapist for nearly five years now) then she will not be able to offer me any support. I mean WTF?! My mental health is so bad right now and unless I cut off my one support my therapist and see and completely new random person which is an utterly daunting prospect they won’t support me at all. That’s not exactly promoting good mental health support in my opinion!

I am struggling also, I have been diagnosed with perinatal OCD and depression...

Posted
05/10/2018

I am struggling also, I have been diagnosed with perinatal OCD and depression. I was started on Sertraline at the weekend and side effects this week have been horrific. I have a massive fear of contamination and struggle to go to any medical environment, dr/hospital etc. I forced myself to go meet my local perinatal mental health nurse this week. I thought she was really supportive gave me lots of things to think about. But I have literally just got an email from her saying if I chose to stay with my private therapist and psychiatrist ( I have been with my therapist for nearly five years now) then she will not be able to offer me any support. I mean WTF?! My mental health is so bad right now and unless I cut off my one support my therapist and see and completely new random person which is an utterly daunting prospect they won’t support me at all. That’s not exactly promoting good mental health support in my opinion!

Oh my gosh. I was under "normal" mental health care but they wont talk to me while im pregnant as it's upto perinatal..

Unfortunately in between theyve left me without anyone.

OCD is in my diagnosis (my longest standing diagnosis) so you have all my sympathy. When i had psychosis its stemmed from a sudden sever emetophobia thay set of my OCD and then so on and so forth til psychosis.

Thing is these professionals know its a slippery slope but basically cross their fingers youll be ok.

If your fears relate largly to being pregnant id stick with perinatal.

Just sending a big hug xx I think you are very brave to be tackling another pregnancy and it's fantastic that you are seeking support and identifying what information and care will help ease your symptoms. You sound so self-aware and recognise what's happening to you, that seems like a massive positive to me.

I'm also much more anxious this pregnancy but not overwhelmed by it. It doesn't help that everyone expects you to be confident and excited and thinks you're weird if you reel off a list of facts and statistics about what could go wrong.

It is unhelpful to think about deserving or not deserving anything in life. You'll end up swinging between elation and despair and feel out of control. You need to reframe how you think about things. You may find CBT is helpful. There are some online tools you could look into. Eg this site has an anxiety and worry section and will support you over many months if you find it is useful.

Oh my gosh. I was under "normal" mental health care but they wont talk to me ...

Posted
05/10/2018

Oh my gosh. I was under "normal" mental health care but they wont talk to me while im pregnant as it's upto perinatal..

Unfortunately in between theyve left me without anyone.

OCD is in my diagnosis (my longest standing diagnosis) so you have all my sympathy. When i had psychosis its stemmed from a sudden sever emetophobia thay set of my OCD and then so on and so forth til psychosis.

Thing is these professionals know its a slippery slope but basically cross their fingers youll be ok.

If your fears relate largly to being pregnant id stick with perinatal.

I can sympathise with the whole being left in the lurch with no one. I have had my therapist for years but the only reason I saw a private psychiatrist was because it was taking them sooooo long to sort out any help for me. I was told at my booking appointment at 8 weeks I would be referred to the mental health midwife for an assessment and maybe then the perinatal team. I did not get an appointment with the mental health midwife until I was 24 Weeks and that was through my own begging email on a really bad day. She then said she would refer me - but forgot to do so! So I then contacted the team myself. I can honestly say I feel let down by the whole team especially with this latest email. I hope your team pull it out the bag and give you some control in where you give birth. I can’t even think about birth yet...far too much water to cover first x

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