a)What is the worst show that you've seen live? This can be anything from concert, standup, etc?b)Is there a show that you would not attend even if you were given free tickets and a large monetary bribe?

Worst show??? Oh man, I have been to many "small shows" where things are just horrible. My band once had a show booked in Kentucky...only it snowed 2-3 inches...and they dont have equipment to treat roads. So the show was pretty much cancelled, no other bands showed, there were only like 2-3 people there who owned the property. But it was good because (booking the "tour" from PA) it wasn't really a place to play a show. It was a beat up barn with crap sprawled about and nails and what not (on the way to the room, not in the room, but the room wasnt much better). We chilled for a bit and had a barrel fire where I think they were throwing cat urine soaked carpets to keep it going. I have many stories of shows gone bad with bands that no one likes playing for waaay too long...or other crazy things happening, but let me get back to the question.

I just wanted to tell that story, but I suppose if it was one I attended, and not a local type gig - a more popular one...not sure. I am not the type to just go to a show because it is there. I usually know and would be lookging forward to at least one act. Although I did go to the Improv to see a comic who was in town and that was great...but one of the opening acts - the local/warm up person or whatever. Oh it was awkward. You could feel their nerves and the jokes were either OK or not really funny...but even if it was a good joke - it wasn't delivered well because of the nerves and awkwardness. The whole room was uncomfortable.

A show I would not attend? Yes, there would be many....a large monetary bribe? Depends on the money. If you say large bribe, why wouldn't I go to the show? I mean, I am sure we can think of some crazy unsafe or disgusting thing I would not want to see, but if we are talking normal show where I just hate the acts performing - I can take money and still go. Depends on the amoung. $20 to see Bieber? No thanks...$100? We can negotiate.

ville5 wrote:Is it ok to scratch the "boys" in public? Just outside, if so? Or can you go for a dip? Sometimes it just can't wait, ya know?

Hell yeah, it is OK...this is AMERICA!

Although, let us be respectable about this. I would say no go on taking a dip. Can be misinterpreted and, anyway - you should take care of that somewhere where you can wash your hands or something. Always stay on the outside. Your super extra secret no no spots are a nether region or moral decay and corruption...REPENT!

But a quick scratch with a well designed decoy (just adjusting my pants here) on the outside is acceptable. If more attention is needed - I still say stay on the outside but make sure you have no witnesses. You may just go insane if you do not address it sometimes, but keep it to a minimum or you may have to go on Deadliest Catch.

Letang Is The Truth wrote:so now you have your second child, do you feel like you will love your first child less? if not, do you feel guilty that perhaps you could have loved your first child more if your level of love for child 1 is equal to that of child 2? one man only has so much love.

Good question, but I think it is too soon to really look deep into this question. So I cannot address it directly, but perhaps indirectly. Feel free to follow up, but here is my reply: (so odd sometimes switching from funny to serious in this thread).

Some may not realize, especially those without kids, but the connection the father has to a child takes longer. Mom obviously has "grown" and "been connected to" the child for months.\, so it is automatic. The dad basically just sees the belly for the longest time and then there is a baby! I was told this with my first child and, although amazed and in love with my first when he was born, I caught moments later where the bond grew stronger. As my first got older and did things like recognize me, smile when he saw me, said Daddy, gets excited when I get home from work, reaches his arms up to me to pick him up, etc, etc, etc - you look back in kind of amazement at how attached you eventually become.

So with the new child officially being here, big brother got to come see us all in the hospital. You could see it on his face. Part confusion, maybe part jealousy for mom/dad's attention. My first is not even two yet, so it is more innocent and plain to see. Ultimately, I felt bad that I changed his world a bit.

Now, I have two brothers and we get along great, so I am not worried about him long term, but just like any time something bad happens to your child and he cries, you want to make it better. His life is changing and it is not "bad" or something I can "fix." It is a happy occasion, something we wanted, but I am sure my oldest and even us really enjoyed the world we created with our 3 person family. I could give him all my attention, as could mommy, and he was always happy. Now, he is not going to get a direct response. He may fall and hurt himself and look for someone to make it better and it will not be as immediate. That makes me feel bad.

More directly to answer your question, I do not feel I will love my first less. I do not think that is possible. I do not buy the notion of "only so much love to give." I mean really...us Pens fans, right now, with all the superstars on our team...I love them all so much! haha. I do feel some guilt though. Again, I have not been able to fully connect with my second and I do not know how our world will end up being once we adjust to two kids, but the guilt isn't over the amount of love. I know I can love them both fully and equally...the guilt comes from not physically being able to have the amount of time to fully show them that amount of love, and the fact that they are too young to comprehend it.

When I come home from work a couple of years from now and both of their faces light up and they say "daddy," I will love them both fully and completely, but I can only physically talk to, look at, kiss, hug, and pick up (can hold both at the same time only for so long until they get bigger) one at a time. That especially stinks when they are too young to realize the reasons why.

So it isn't the amount of love, it is the amount of time/attention. Being fully connected to my first and, with his young innocent age being able to be read like a book, my guilt comes from seeing him try to understand our family's new world without the ability to see beyond the "right now."

Sarcastic wrote:Jeff, explain the fart. Why does ass become a musical instrument.

I was going to try to take this question in a funny/serious approach because I thought it would be amusing to use scientific words for something so sophomoric. However, in my search for technical terms, I found myself giggling like I was 8 anyway, so I will just copy and past

Flatulence, also called fart or flatus, is when intestinal gas leaves the anus. This often happens with a loud sound, caused by the speed and amount of gas released, the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks.

Ha, so actually, I have now changed my mind and just want everyone to read this wiki article and it is both informative and humorous to an 8 yr old brain including:

Researchers have discovered that the sensitive nerves around the anus exist to help us tell the difference between flatus and feces; sometimes, though, a person can get confused and accidentally defecate while trying to release gas. This is colloquially known as sharting and can leave stains in a person's underwear. There are many slang terms for the passing of flatulence, such as farting, pooting, tooting, passing gas, breaking wind, and cutting the cheese.

So there it is. For the musical instrument part...it depends on the amount and speed, as well as the rectum and buttocks. Keep practicing different clenching techniques to get the desired ones you so desire

ExPatriatePen wrote:Why does it seem that your hair is always just a bit cleaner after you switch shampoo's?

Probably just your mind playing tricks on you. Scent is a powerful thing and you are probably just enjoying the novelty of a new smell and/or new feel (texture, what have you). It makes the experience new and "feel" better. There could be an actual chemical reason as well. Your hair could get used to the chemicals in your old shampoo so the new one feels different as it cleans differently and you aren't use to it.

I cannot say I am a huge fan of theirs, but I have enjoyed some of their stuff in the past.

This single, for me, seems to fall in that line. I certainly don't mind listening to it, but it isn't blowing me away. A bit too repetitive, but some good stuff in their that caught my attention and kept it. If I heard it a few times, it may grow on me, though and my opinion may improve.

Plenty of times I have given a new song from a ban I follow a listen and been "meh" on it, only to have it become my favorite song on the album a few weeks later. Hard to say on this type of music because of that factor. It is not meant to be a catchy pop hit that gets stuck in your head - so it is hard to say at first listen

Goldberg won the championship for his league as soon as he got some good team and D playHe won a gold medalHe won vs the Varsity (like that is some huge achievement after the olympics, but still)

Fleury has 1 cup.

But I think the main point here is as soon as he got some good team and D play

Before Goldberg had a team in front of him, he voluntarily was letting in goals by stepping out of the crease...

Wait...maybe Goldberg and Fleury are the same person. Has anyone ever been in a limo with Fleury and had it stinkbombed out? Has anyone seen MAF rollerblading through the mall? We may be on to something here.