Today we review a Sonoma California zinfandel made by Ravenswood that is $11.

OK, this is a deep, dark wine that smells like coffee and tastes like a typical, smooth, semi-oaky, warm California red. Unlike lesser zinfandels, Zen of Zin is not a fruit bomb — it has real tannins, and a dry finish. It’s not complex or superb, but there’s almost nothing wrong with it. Nothing sticking out here. Nothing poking your taste buds there. It’s rich, delicious and affordable. THAT makes Zen of Zin a “Best Value” (hence the guy at the slot machine).

This is all painful to admit, because I am so turned off by the label. It proudly commands, like a fat redneck who loves champagne: “POUR OFTEN: Especially among friends. PAIR BOLDLY: With prime rib, pork, and chocolate. EXPERIMENT FREELY: Bring to a party full of Chards. SHARE WISDOM: And laughter. Always laughter.”

Um, OK. Did Zen of Zin outsource the label to spammers on AOL, who write about dancing like nobody’s watching? Do we need to be told to pair this wine BOLDLY with pork? Before this review degenerates any further, I’ll just pour yet another glass of Zen of Zin, and remind myself that this wine is: