I AM dramatically drawn to the conclusion that the U.S. attorney general, Janet Reno, has a huge and very secure safe.

And inside that safe are mountains of photographs of Bill Clinton in a giant bed with 20 or 30 girls, smoking but not inhaling cigars.

How else could Janet Reno cling so successfully to the job as top cop of the country? On her performance as attorney general, she would be hard pressed to get hired as the security guard at an ice-making factory in Alaska.

“I have given up trying to understand what the Justice Department and Janet Reno use as investigative standards,” Washington lawyer Joseph diGenova says.

DiGenova was a U.S. attorney from 1983 to 1988 and independent counsel from 1992 to 1995.

It also has to be quickly said that, as a Republican, he would hardly be voting for Reno as “lawyer of the year.”

But apart from this fearsome independent investigator, who is as straight as the Empire State Building, you could get the most slobbering liberal to put Reno’s feet to the campfire.

DiGenova was commenting on a story in yesterday’s New York Times.

The Times reported that the Clinton administration learned of a federal probe into Russian money-laundering five months earlier than it had previously acknowledged.

The Times is so polite. In other words, the administration told a stone-cold bloody lie.

This investigation alleges that $5 billion to $10 billion of aid was channeled by Russian crooks and laundered in a U.S. bank.

“I just fail to know or try to know what Reno’s department did about this when it was in their department and why the alarms didn’t go off after they knew about it so long ago,” diGenova said.

“There has been a very strange relationship by the supposedly independent Justice Department and the administration.

“And the reason is simple: The president is completely impotent when it comes to law enforcement.

“He has no potency because of his own problems with the law.

“Simply, he is legally and constitutionally compromised. With law enforcement, he is persona non grata.”

The fact that Clinton sits on his duff as aid money to Russia is swallowed by greedy-thumbed thieves – and then washed through New York so Brighton Beach in Brooklyn gets another nightclub – is bad enough.

But the fact that Vice President Al “The Bore” Gore takes great credit in his close relationship in helping out the country that gave us Stalin is startling.

Gore and the Russian hierarchy are borscht buddies. Ask him, and he will tell you.

To be honest, Gore, of Buddhist Temple Campaign Fund-Raising fame, is no crook. No he is not. It’s just that he has concrete between his ears.

DiGenova: “When the CIA sent Gore’s office the first report on the alleged money-laundering operation, the response was pretty quick.

“The file came back with a very derisive comment on it and was ignored. Where was the Justice Department? Where was Janet Reno? There is a real crisis of confidence here.”

The Russian money-laundering scandal, which Reno apparently thought was a chewing-gum theft at a candy store, is just the latest in many examples of an ostrich sand-bound.

“When you look at Waco, you see something very symptomatic of Reno and her department,” said diGenova. “It IS an absolute inability to get to the truth or wanting to get to the truth.”