Bill Clinton To Pull Out of Presidential Race

(TAMPA) — After a crushing defeat in Saturday’s South Carolina primary, the Democrat who campaigned most vigorously, coming into the state with the strongest organization and the best name recognition, now ponders whether to stay in the race through Super Tuesday.

Associates of former President Bill Clinton privately tell reporters they would not be surprised if he announced, as early as this week, that he’s dropping his White House bid.

“He’s not getting the kind of traction he expected,” said one unnamed Clinton campaign insider. “I guess people just aren’t ready for the kind of change Bill Clinton represents.”

Officially, the campaign still says he’s “in it for the long haul, and in it to win,” but off the record many acknowledge that he lost momentum “shortly after he opened his mouth.”

If the former president does drop out, experts believe the most likely beneficiary would be New York Sen. Hillary Clinton. — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace