I smiled at Zander. Parang tumigil ang mundo sa studio nang nakita siya para lang mabati. The staff went at him and exchanged smiles. The photographer chatted with him for a while before finally turning to us.

Mapupungay na mga mata, badboy image, and a sweet smile, everyone loves him. At twenty-seven years old, he’s already very accomplished as an actor and model. He’s a national idol, parehong sa mga bata at matatanda. Together with his love team, Blair, they can make the crowd roar, sa kilig man o sa mangha.

“That is not my point, Zander,” I said softly. Hoping he’d understand. Hoping that his mind isn’t closed. “We are together but I’m too young to think about the future right now-”
“Because of your career? Damn, Eury! I have my own career, too! If people will know about our relationship, I’ll probably get fired for it but I don’t mind! I am willing to sacrifice!” frustrated niyang sinabi.

Huminga akong malalim para mapakalma ang sarili ko. I need to make him see reason. All the more we shouldn’t take this step because we both should be focusing on our careers!

“I talked to Tito and Tita! Ayos naman ang dalawa, ah? What is the problem with you?”

Shit.

“Why did you have to talk to them? Can’t we just talk about it? Tutal ay tayong dalawa naman ang nasa relasyong ‘to!”
“Bakit mo pa pinoproblema iyon, kung ganoon? I don’t understand you! Damn! Whatever! I’m leaving now! It is useless to talk to you like this.”

Tahimik si Flyn at Carrie sa kwarto. Hindi na inusyuso pa ang nangyari. Respeto man o kawalang pakealam iyon ay ayos lang sa akin. I was never really friends with them before showbiz. I only got introduced after a shoot. Silang dalawa ay nagsisimula nang kumanta noon. Dalawang taon na siguro silang duo nang dumating ako. Our career boomed right then and there. We immediately had some offers, bigger than their last two years in this business.

I don’t want to admit it but people were just a sucker for a pretty face. With talent or not, they want an idol who can flawlessly sport any look. Sa katauhan ko, nagkaroon ng kulay ang grupo ng dalawa. They soared high on social media because of me.

It is pitiful, actually. Dahil sa kanilang dalawa, I’m the lesser talented. I cannot sing high notes, unlike them. I can only sing soft parts. I cannot dance hiphop, like them. I could get close but it will take weeks for practice.

Sometimes, I’m glad that I’m not as famous and successful as Zander. He couldn’t walk normally in places like this. Magkakagulo sa NAIA kung sakaling naglalakad siyang mag-isa. But then he’d never walk alone. He’d always have security as per his manager’s orders.

“We have our own set of clothes but I assume you have yours, too?” the stylist butts in.
“Yes. But… this is your shoot and your theme so I might have to conform.”
Tumango ang stylist at isa-isa ng ipinakita sa akin ang mga susuotin.

A skin tone almost see-through dress with real vines and leaves and a real flower crown. Gusto ko iyon, kahit na hindi ako sigurado kung magiging komportable ba ako. I can wear bikinis but I guess it is different with props like these.

I may have been pained, this is nothing compared to the pain of those who are left by their parents, who are rejected by their loved ones, who cannot eat a meal in a day, who cannot even drink clean water. Walang wala itong lahat kumpara sa kanila kaya bakit ako susuko, hindi ba?