Wife of beloved charity worker volunteers at mission one year after his death

For Ottawa architect Steven Dwyer, being generous was simply “part his belief system.”

Dwyer was a blood donor, and regularly gave money to the food bank and the National Arts Centre. His wife, Sandra Laughren, said his charity donations to the Ottawa Mission amounted to 4,000 dinners for homeless people.

“He was always, always giving,” she said.

When Dwyer suddenly passed away from a ruptured brain aneurysm last year on May 1, his friends, family and the community he had given so much to were devastated.

He was 43.

One year later, Laughren said she’s lamenting the loss of a man who had such a profound effect on so many people. He was admired for his “intellect, wit, storytelling” and the close relationship he had with his wife, she said.

In an emotional obituary for the Ottawa Citizen last week, Laughren said her husband was full of love for the people he interacted with.

“You would have been humbled and proud to know how admired and loved you were,” she writes.

The two met later on in their lives. Dwyer worked in the software industry while Laughren worked as a policy analyst for the federal government.

“We didn’t make millions, but we were fortunate because we were good savers,” Laughren said. “We knew we weren’t going to have children, so we had to make the most of our being together. Part of that was our commitment to giving and to lifelong learning.”

Sandra Laughren lost her husband, Steven Dwyer, a year ago due to a brain aneurysm. The pair are seen here at their wedding in St. Lucia.Julie Oliver /
Postmedia

During their seven-year marriage, she said the pair accomplished many things, including in 2014, when they endowed a scholarship for Indigenous students at the University of Toronto, instead of using that money for a vacation in Hawaii they’d spent two years saving up for.

“I’m an Indigenous person, and he wasn’t,” said Laughren. “He supported my vision … It was really about him making my dream come true, and as a spouse, that was just magical.”

Dwyer, who Laughren said was a quiet and humble man, also had a passion for the arts. In 2016, the couple began a production company called “Cue Penny” in Ottawa, and planned to produce a play entitled “Burn” last year. After his sudden death, Laughren took the reins and dedicated the production to him.

“It was a lot of work, but I’m glad that I did it,” she said. The play sold out at The Gladstone theatre last August.

On Tuesday, May 1, Dwyer’s family, friends and former colleagues gathered at the Ottawa Mission to commemorate his passing exactly one year to that day. In the spirit of giving, the group of around 20 put on gloves and hairnets, and made lunches for the homeless.

“This is an important way to honour my husband and the things that were important to him,” said Laughren as she stood in the mission’s dining hall, surrounded by loved ones. Some of them had driven up to seven hours to be there.

Patrick Rutledge, Dwyer’s former colleague at Martello Technologies, was at the gathering. He said his boss Dwyer was his mentor and someone he modelled himself after, and that he was especially grieved by his tragic death.

“I’m always thinking about him … He was an absolute genius” said Rutledge. “He was good to the people around him and would give them anything he could. It’s important for me to be here today to honour his memory and to support (Laughren).”

Dwyer was president of the residential board at the condo the couple lived in, which has now named the building’s common room the “Steven Dwyer Room.” Laughren said she’s also placed a chair with a plaque at the National Arts Centre in his memory.

“Even in passing, you were a hero,” Laughren writes in the obituary. Dwyer was awarded a Trillium Foundation medal, post-death, for donating his organs. “Seven people had their lives extended,” she writes.

While their hearts were heavy Tuesday, she said Dwyer would have appreciated the efforts made on his behalf.

“I know he would have been pleased and humbled that we’re working to honour his legacy by helping others in need.”

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