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3.12.2010

Thoughts for today: I graduated with a degree in communications, a desire to write, a growing understanding of social media, and no idea what to do with myself. I've never even taken a business or marketing class, and yet... I find myself working two jobs that integrate social media, marketing, technology, and a smidge of writing. What I wrote about myself in my last post - the part about envisioning myself as a novelist, journalist, literary critic, publisher, or literary professor- is true. Well, I left out a couple of things, like painter, poet, designer, baker, and photographer...

And so now I'm just wondering what matters more? Success or "following my dreams?" And what exactly are my dreams? I certainly can't be a professional at all of those things at once, which means I have to choose. And not only do I have to choose one, I have to educate myself which costs money. And I have to support myself and my family when I do it, but the question is: will the income be sufficient?

I may be very successful on this path I have started down. But will I be happy with just success without the dream fulfillment? Should I be questioning this right now or should I just be happy? Does anyone care that I am writing this?

A friend of mine commented the other day, "I think this whole 'get-an-education-and-follow-your-dreams' thing has been a lie. I don't think I'll ever find one thing I was meant to do."

I felt so incredibly sad. Not just for her, but for myself and my generation. Many of us spent 16 years and thousands of dollars only to find out that we have the same fears and concerns and responsibilities that our parents and grandparents had. The economy crashes, and suddenly you're a college graduate working in a coffee shop, wondering "Wait - when do I get to do what I wanted? Should I wait until after I have paid off $75,000+ in loan debt to pursue grad school and my career?"

I'm trying to be content with the experience I am gaining in my current positions. Maybe this path is better than what I could have imagined for myself. Any thoughts on the matter, any experience you'd like to share or even contradictions to my thoughts are always welcome perspectives here.