This Week In Quotes: April 30 – May 3

This whole thing with Obama saying the rich don’t pay their taxes is f–ing bullshit. First they say to you … ‘The United States of America, you can do anything you want – go for it! So then you go for it and you make it and everyone’s like, ‘F*ck you!’ — Jon Lovitz

But if you try to see things like a state for a second, it’s simply unsustainable to have a libertarian immigration policy and a liberal welfare state. Ultimately, if you don’t want cops asking for your papers, you need to get rid of one or the other. — Jonah Goldberg

As Neal McCluskey points out in a Cato Institute white paper, government outlays intended to hold down the price of a college degree have ballooned, in inflation-adjusted dollars, from $29.6 billion in 1985 to $139.7 billion in 2010: an increase of 372 percent since Ronald Reagan’s day.

Most of that prodigious growth is very recent. The College Board, which tracks each type of financial assistance in a comprehensive annual report, shows total federal aid soaring by more than $100 billion in the space of a single decade — from $64 billion in 2000 to $169 billion in 2010. (The College Board’s data, unlike Cato’s, includes higher-education tax credits and deductions.)

And what have we gotten for this vast investment in college affordability? Colleges that are more unaffordable than ever. — Jeff Jacoby

The oil and gas jobs the Golden State political class shuns pay around $100,000 a year on average. — Joel Kotkin

“What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.” — Barack Obama

I believe the scripture says that being gay is a sin. But every time I say that I get people saying, ‘well you’re a gay hater, you’re a gay basher.’ Gays are some of the nicest, kindest, most loving people in the world, but my faith is based on what I believe the scripture says and that’s the way I read the scripture. — Joel Osteen

We can learn to ignore the bullsh*t in the Bible and what it says about gay people. — Dan Savage

Obama’s father was a polygamist; his grandfather was a polygamist; and his great-grandfather was a polygamist who had one more wife (five in total) than Romney’s great-grandfather. It seems President Obama is the first male in his line not to be a polygamist. — Mark Steyn