Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

A 767 is flying over the Atlantic. The engine fails, and the plane starts to go down. The stewardess runs into the cockpit, rips off her blouse and screams at the captain: "Please! Before I die, make me feel like a real woman!" The captain stands up, rips off his shirt and says, "OK, iron this."

Decarte walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "Can I get you somthing to Drink?" Decart replies, "I think not," and dissappears.

A little fat man walks into church one morning and sits in front of a little boy sitting with his mother and playng with a stick. The preacher comes in and says, "Brothers and sisters I came up with an idea to test your knowledge of the Bible, throughout the service I'm going to ask a few questions. And the first one is real easy...Who created the heavens and the earth?" the Little boy pokes the fat man in the butt and the man jumps up and shouts, "GOD ALMIGHTY." the preacher says,"Correct...good brother." After the service begins and they sing a few hymns the preacher asks, "Who came to Earth and died for your sins?" the Little boy pokes the fat man in the butt, the man jumps up and shouts, "JESUS CHRIST!" the preacher says, "correct!" Towards the end of the service the preacher stops and says, "my last question is kinda hard now, so think...What did Eve say to Adam after thier very last child?" The little boy pokes the fat man is the butt, the man jumps up turns around and shouts, "If you poke me with that thing one more time I'm gonna cut it Off!"