The musings of a girl in her 30’s who has battled obesity her entire life. She is a former “LapBander” who had it removed due to a chronic slip, but she’s now “sleeved” and ready for the rest of her life! Enjoy the inner dialogue of an otherwise successful woman who battles her weight and health for 30+ years...

Monday, January 4, 2010

3 days from now...!

Grandma called me yesterday because I hadn't posted a blog in "a couple of days," and wanted to make sure I was alright...lol. I'm fine! I never saw this blog as a daily update of what's going on with this surgery or journey, rather a place to write when I felt like I had something to say, whether that be every few days or several times in a day. At this point? I will have a LapBand around my stomach within 72 hours, if all goes as planned with the surgery. I had lost 8 pounds pre-op as of this morning, and had decided to switch to a mostly liquid diet for these last three days to finish jump starting the diet process (I've been doing extensive reading on a lap band support forum about various pre-op diets people have been required to be on). I'll be on liquids for a week following the band anyway, so I might as well get used to it! Today's menu included: 2 whey protein powder shakes, 1 glass of juice, 1 can of chicken broth and 1 can of tuna (see? MOSTLY liquid!)...oh, and tons of water. Two more days of this diet and it's surgery time! Although, I will tell ya this - if anything happens and they push my surgery date back or can't operate (I'm terrified of being one of the people whose liver is too fatty and they close back up without a band!), I am going to GORGE on some fatty fast food on Thursday!!!

Today was an interesting day, though. As a teacher, I had to head back to school after two weeks off for Winter Break. I'm still working on not smoking, but it was interesting talking to both my students and colleagues about the surgery I'm having. Although I'm absent frequently from my classroom to handle contract negotiations and other teacher union duties, I wanted everyone to be clear that I would be back for these first three days of the new semester to get the ball rolling, but that my substitute would then be in charge starting Thursday and through next week. I tried to convince my students that I was having brain surgery (lol!), but finally told my FFA Officer team at our meeting this afternoon what was really going on - I'm sure it will be spread throughout my 100 students by tomorrow :). No big deal! In the front office, I wanted to tell one of my close counselor friends, but he had another casual friend of mine in his office - so I blurted it out anyway! It's not that I haven't wanted to tell people about my journey (the counselor friend has known for awhile that it was coming), I just get paranoid about things that "will happen," and don't like to get peoples' hopes up...or mine...until it's all said and done. But, c'est la vie. The front office secretaries and I had the discussion when I signed off for my 6 days of absences - "What kind of surgery, if you don't mind me asking?" was all I needed to hear to have the conversation. The ladies have always been good to me, and one of them is a Facebook friend, so I figured they could know. Again, it's not that I feel ashamed or want to hide it, I just want to have an actual band IN MY STOMACH before I start making public declarations about what I'm doing. Also had to send out an e-mail to the union executive board I sit on to let them know about two meetings I wouldn't be able to make, due to the surgery, and remembered that two of them hadn't been told about the surgery - so, they know now...and one of them has even been considering the surgery herself, and wanted to pick my brain about my experience thus far! See? You never know where support buddies will find you :).

But, with the frequent story telling of my upcoming surgery, the decrease in calories and, therefore, energy, cessation of cigarettes, and dealing with being "back to school" today...this girl's sleepy.

2 comments:

I'm proud of you still, and even more so? I'm glad you're telling friends and family too. We're all valuable resources he want to revel in your successes with you, and support you through any tough times. We are, and always will be here for you kid. I'm glad, very very glad, with the trust and faith you place in each of us :)

I cannot express how proud I am of your courage to tell the "world" of your upcoming surgery and the support you are receiving. I told no one for about 2 years because I felt so ashamed that I had to "resort" to such extreme measures unable to accomplish it on my own. Now I know, I should have shared because the love and support would have helped me through some troubled times. Unfortunately, I always though I had to be the rock and couldn't lean on someone else when needed. So I see what you are doing as a definite positive and I just love you so dearly and think I don't tell you enough or often how much you mean to me!

Who I Am...

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism." - Abraham Lincoln