Monday, July 13, 2015

Mommy's Milestones

Assalamualaikum and Hello!

Alhamdulillah today my 2nd child, my only baby boy Aydin Zaaef is 6 months old. I've never written anything about him. My last post was Nov 2014 which he was not born yet at that time. I took unpaid leave from my job about 2 months before he was born. I delivered him on 12th January 2015 and then i decided to tender my resignation. So i can say i am officially a full time house wife or a stay at home mom (SAHM) for 6 months! Woohooo!! *Alhamdulillah*

It was tough especially the first 4 months. Taking care of my 2 year old daughter and my 2nd baby. When people asked me how are things or whether its nice to be SAHM, i always answered its nice but definitely tougher and tiring than being a full time working mom (FTWM) or at least the same. But....if you ask me now, i am going to answer "i love it!!" I am getting use of it and somehow i don't think its so difficult anymore. Most probably because my baby now can sit and move around on his own or in other words he can get tired on his own and easier for me to nurse him to sleep. And my daughter has weaned off from nursing when she turned 2 years old last May so no more tandem nursing for us and less drama haha. And i think i no longer put too much expectations on myself or trying too hard to be the perfect SAHM. At first i was too stressed up to get so many things done in one day. Must sweep/vacuum, must do the laundry, must cook etc2. Luckily i have a very supportive husband. He told me its alright if sometimes have messy house or even sticky floor and its ok if theres no food when he comes back from work. If i don't have time to cook for my daughter then its ok to cook something for her out of processed or canned food. And from there i would just "follow the flow" :P When the day is good as in my baby sleeps well then i'll finish my house work, cook something nice for both of us and my daughter. When some days are bad, those are the days where i boil macaroni for my daughter and cook canned carbonara or tomato sauce maybe put some extra cheese and mixed veggies. Let my husband know there will be no dinner or maybe i'll cook something fast when he gets back. Let the washed clothes be in the washing machine and i'll rinse it again later at night or tomorrow morning and hang it dry. I've learned, there are days where i just have to let go some of the things and concentrate on my 2 kids.

If you ask again i won't answer its tiring than FTWM. FTWM definitely is tiring because you don't have that peace of mind. If you can't sleep at night you already imagine how tired you will be tomorrow. You have to think what are you going to wear to work. Whether need to iron or not. You think about the traffic you have to go through. You have to think about your work and your boss. You constantly think how is your kid(s) doing at the nursery or with your maid. When you do your work you rush because you have to go back to fetch your kid(s). Then there are outstation jobs. How?Who? And if still breastfeeding, howwwww?? I understand because i was a FTWM. I traveled for work. I left my daughter many times. It was so tiring. Physically and mentally.

Now i am so lucky to experience the other side of the world (cewah!). Being a SAHM. Its tiring but at the end of the day, i don't have to think about other people or being forced to do something. If i have a bad night i know i can just skip some house work and take a nap tomorrow in the afternoon. But to be honest i rarely need to take a nap because even though i sleep for 4 or less hours only, it feels enough. I think because i sleep without worry now.

I wrote this hoping to help those moms who are working and maybe thinking about resigning. If you don't feel what i felt when i was working then enjoy your life as working mom. Enjoy those lunch sessions without your kids. Enjoy that feeling of missing your kids so much. But if you are not enjoying those things, then sacrifice some things like slow down on the shopping and save up a bit and try to be SAHM. Maybe start with taking unpaid leaves. Hm i think i am writing too many things in 1 post. I know there are other factors that can hold you back. Trust me i know! But if you really want something, work for it! Work hard and pray hard! Stop complaining and take out a piece of paper and list down what actually you need to do in order to achieve your target. Insyaallah, Allah ease it for you.

For other SAHM, i know some of you might have different situations. Harder perhaps. Hang it there ladies. Let's try to support each other as much as we can ok? I am in Stay at home mom (msia) Facebook group. Join if you haven't :)

My journey is still a long way to go. Please pray for me it will be a smooth and rewarding journey. Now things are getting easier, i hope i can start writing frequently. At least not once in 6 months haha. Maybe i'll share in my next post on my preparations to become SAHM. How did i eliminate those factors that were holding me back. Oh its already past midnight so now its 6 months and 1 day!! Woohoooooo!!!