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Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Questions, I got some questions..

Ok, sorry about yesterday, I was feeling whiny and self-indulgent, over-privileged twat that I am. I have given myself a strict talking to. If anyone is in the greater Brussels area and fancies coming to give me a boot up the arse, I would welcome it. (No, not you Zoe, not with your rep, that would have to hurt)

Today I have questions. Many questions.

1. Is Stephanie Klein right about ankle boots? Because I own those boots. Mine have a sort of origami leather effect slightly reminiscent of Sydney Opera House, but they are otherwise identical. Let me show you with some really execrably bad photos (Peevish, look away now).

Exhibit 1

Sitting in bath (CFO uncooperative - busy killing things)

Exhibit 2

Risking life and limb on edge of bath (CFO still uncooperative - important spreadsheet to fiddle with. Let's just, for a second, imagine the conversation in the emergency department when I fall off and break something. 'What happened Mme. Jaywalker?' 'I fell into the bath taking pictures of my borderline ridiculous new boots')

Do I look ridiculous? . You can tell me, internet. I can take it.

2. Why do I need to provide 'ten corks (from wine bottles)' for school? I could only find 6. BMF's suggestion ('Open 4 bottles of wine. Drink them all. Voilà') was tempting. Stakhanite wine consumption required! I feel this is one edict I am able to comply with.

3. What should I wear to my interview on Monday? Yes, I have failed to put Tony off with my crushing lack of enthusiasm. I have an interview for an opportunity to be enslaved by more eurotedium. Given that my main motivation for applying is 'Mmm, I might be able to take a couple of weeks off between jobs', I query the value of this exercise. But hey, I hate to fail. Should I allow the Mean Glasses to choose, or should I try to talk them down from their precipice of Japanese severity?

4. Is this not the most soothing blog ever? It's like a Migraleve Pink and a cup of very strong tea consumed lying on my bed with my eyes closed (yes, this is my idea of a good time, you may now pity me). It made all the difference yesterday. Pretty things. Mmmm. Unclench jaw. Observe biscuits and cakes. Feel tension ebbing away. Mmmm.

6. How shall we all manage to have fun now the fête is drawing to a close? I feel compelled to do something really bad with the many, many rolls of self-adhesive book covering film I now possess. Something Christo-esque. Do you dare me? Do you?

That is all. In return I am happy to attempt to answer your questions in an arbitrary and senseless fashion. Hooray!

17 comments:

1)Ankle boots are not nice. (But you may not want to listen to me. I don't like ANY shoes.....my feet get claustrophobic....)2)Possibly the teacher has a large grape crop and is looking to make her own wine supply.....some parents have been asked for corks, others for bottles?3)Allow the glasses to choose. They will have to work there if you get the job after all.4) No. Not really.5) Truely fabulous, yes! 6) Oh, go on then!

I personally have always been against ankle boots. They are the El Camino of footwear and the only people I can see carrying them off with aplomb are those Stepford Wife-ish models dancing behind Robert Palmer in the 80's era videos. Or Grace Jones, she can totally pull that look off. But there, once again, we find ourselves back in the 80's.

That being said, perhaps they completely work for you. Perhaps, in combination with the glasses...?

Also, this: "now the fête is drawing to a close?" makes me wonder if the Fete is still ongoing.? If so, I shall forthwith construct something soft, because the minkies aren't menacing enough. If not, carry on.

Oh, one more thing: I hope your interview with Tony goes extremely well. You may list me as a reference.

1) I will not even read the article if it involves disparaging of gorgeous ankle boots. I cannot do blasphemy before I have had my second cup of coffee.2) I've got nothing.3) I wonder if these glasses are not a character in a Murakami novel. As I love Murakami, I think you should let glasses continue to make all the decisions for you.4) Soothing? No, I need jarring. What is the blog that is like the psychic equivalent of a pot of Turkish coffee. But, it is good to know that a cup of tea blog is available when I need to come down.5) I showed it to woozle yesterday and he loved the race car--her did notice that it was a creature/car. It has an adorable face--kind of like my Prius.6)I double dog dare you.

I quite like the boots-- I cannot wear heels of any kind, so I shall live vicariously through your fancy heel-y boots. Also, I endorse an impromptu cocktail party to solve the cork conundrum. Or, just open bunches of wine and drink it yourself. (I fear I'm coming off as quite the drunk-- two days in a row with recommendations of wine consumption... hmmm...)

Honey, I have no idea who is Ms. Klein but with your legs you could have your feet in a pair of marrows and no-one would care!So glad I'm your preferred online tea and pink pills! Drop in anytime! t.xx

Peevish - I love the idea of batter boots (I am thinking sort of puffy? Could be interesting). Also wow for your multitasking. Are you knitting something disturbing? Of COURSE you can still enter. The judges are a little overwhelmed with the overall level of wrongness on display, so I'm sure you have time...

Belette - Mmm, I love Murakami too. Murakami glasses! What a wonderful thought. I hope they don't make me go and have sex with unsuitable people though..

Helena - thank you so much for boot validation. I already feel bad for Tony, I am so useless in interviews he is going to get into deep shit for talking me up....

Kitschen - Ha, you are too kind! It's all downhill above that hemline, believe me. Your blog is divine. Will be back frequently. Mmmm. Cake.

Hilde! A cow message board! I can hardly wait. Must drink faster.

Zoe, I will totally come drink wine. Next week? And I can't really walk in the boots. I went 200 yards for a sandwich and nearly passed out from the toe pain. No way could I wear them to interview. Emphatically not a stripper - they would be paying me to put clothes on. Especially after the ravages of the pant spiders...

I'm late in responding to this because I've been evacuated due to hurricane Gustav. Now that I'm home and have properly civilized internets again, I will say:

Gah, those are LOVELY boots, do I spy red soles? Are those Louboutin? How can you question their suitability? They are stunning. I actually hope that you do decide that they are ridiculous. If you do, may I have them? I don't care if we aren't the same shoe size. I will find a way to make them fit me. I will, I will.

Hey Red Shoes, I hope you and all your people and stuff are ok after hurricane. Are you up for, like, a really large amount of toe pain? Because you'd need to be. I think Christian Louboutin visualises women with sort of pointy toeless feet, a bit like Barbie. But it is totally worth it.