In lieu of the Advice Smackdown, I present the Greatest Parenting Lesson Ever Learned:

Driving to Pennsylvania in the pouring rain with a husband, a seven-week-old baby, a slightly broken rat dog and a huge-ass cat may make you momentarily ponder abandoning one or more of them at the next rest stop, and this doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're human, at least that's what I'm telling myself.

So I'm visiting family this week, because THE NON-STOP PARADE OF FAMILY THAT HAS MARCHED THROUGH MY HOUSE THE PAST TWO MONTHS OR SO HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH TO FULLY DRIVE ME OUT OF MY MIND. OH NO, NOT AT ALL.

(The caps lock, she is stubborn on this computer, this computer with DIAL. UP. DIIIIAAALLL UPPPP. I almost wish there was a super-caps-lock button I could hit to make that point even larger and cappier.)

On the bright side, though, we're with family members determined to document Noah's every blessed breath, so I have a lot of pictures. No, A LOT.

OMIGOD, HE'S SMILING! AGAIN! WHERE'S THE CAMERA!

(Four different relatives go skittering off in four different directions to grab four different cameras.)

Did you realize Jason and I were really teenage parents? We're actually two 17-year-olds in a bad way, drifting from one tacky guest room bedspread to another.

In which I ruin another priceless photo with my need to not have the child covered in spit-up.

In which I ruin yet another photo with my exhausted, eye-baggy presence.

If you take four hundred million family portraits, your son is bound to smack you in the face in at least a dozen of them.

In which I've learned my lesson about the face-smacking, but it is all for naught, for the baby, he has had quite enough.

Ceiba's all, "Hey, last Thanksgiving, I was the star. Am still a star! Am the biggest star of them all! Am ready for my close-up! HA HA HA!"

p.s. what IS with the attractions of capslock? i find myself having to constantly edit because THIS PHRASE, it is better and funnier that previous capslocked PHRASE, and therefore i wish to further emphasize it... but only can do that by de-capslocking the previous PHRASE, and now it looks all ordinary... anyway, one day i'll write the whole damn post in capslock AND BE DONE WITH IT. if you do find a super-capslock, i want to hear all about it! it is obviously what my life has been missing!

OMG. Your last post about those stoopid loose capri-ish pants! Was getting a manicure last night at Montgomery Mall and saw a woman, middle age in a whole velvet getup, brown and purple - with fucked up pants, you know baggy, just below the knee, and BOOTS! I mean, WTF?! Glad you took a stand on that one.

Awww, yay for the pictures!! My husband thinks your son is one of the cutest babies EVER (and he doesn't make statements like that often). I'm glad you guys survived the trip, and are enjoying the many pictures taken (at least we get to enjoy them!!! yay!) Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Yes, I agree with the cutest baby EVER statement! I keep dragging people in my office over to see the cuteness of Noah. And then I get asked things like "is that your nephew?" or "is that your son?" Heh, I wish that I was married to the adorable Jason and had the most precious baby ever like Noah.

Happy Thanksgiving, new family! So you decided to make the drive, eh? I'm pondering a 4 hour drive to Long Island in two weeks with a (then) 6 week old... And we'd have to spend the night with two cats (I'm allergic). If only there were advice to be had. Until then, I'll just read up on your holiday adventures and hope to learn something. :)

I'm kinda glad you said that about the resemblance in the last picture so that I don't have to feel bad for thinking it. I'm sure that my feelings were of utmost concern when you typed it. Next time, when you're typing with regard to my feelings, please use that super caps lock key so that I'll know which section I should pay close attention to.

Methinks by the end, the pressure of being a star was getting to Noah.

Also - wow, you're really getting closer to the Dooce level of stardom with this whole, "OMFG am I FIRST? FIIIIRST BITCHES!" I still totally think you should get those, "I read Amalah when she was UNDERGROUND, bitches!" made. I still think you're brilliant though, especially with that adorable edible baby of yours.

We're staying put for Thanksgiving because holy HELL we are doing an awful drive for Christmas/New Years. A combined 36 hours round trip (D.C. to South Carolina to Florida to Atlanta to D.C.) with our then 14 month old and two aging barky Shelties.

I've always thought that babies look like little old men, but people look at me funny whenever I say it! I figure it's God's way of letting us know what our little dude will look like when he's 80.....

When exactly is Thanksgiving? Over here in far-away Europe we are pretty much oblivious to this particular American holiday, but I see you guys celebrating and I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, if I'm not too late.

Thanksgiving is the 4th Thursday of November. I'd have to get out a calculator to figure out if November ever has a 5th Thursday but if it does I'd hate for someone to show up for turkey at an empty house.