Thursday, August 30, 2012

In July, I was at home and had the rare opportunity to be
glued to the television set when my mom was watching Bade Ache Lagte Hain on Sony. It was during one of the commercials
then, that I first saw the ad for the upcoming show, Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage. Being a media college student
and with my recent experience of working with a news channel, the moment I saw
the ad, I was sure of one thing- The effect of the youth in influencing the
decisions of a popular entertainment channel is immense and everyone is now
learning to play effective TRP games. Haha…

It was a matter of great surprise for me when I opened
IndiBlogger that night and found a new contest by Sony waiting for me to
present my views about it: Would you prefer a Love Marriage or an Arranged
Marriage? I was amazed and subsequently, have spent almost an entire month in
trying to decide my take on the subject.

My close friends, if they are reading this, they surely
would have been intrigued right from the title of the post to read the entire
entry. The reason? ‘How can someone like
Antarik, who bothers the least about all the love and marriage stuff, and
writes only about what he cares on his blog, write an entry like this one?’
I can almost imagine them saying this! And I can’t blame them. For a college
guy living in the heart of the Capital and staying in a hostel for most part of
it, not having a girl friend is a very uncommon and probably question-raising
situation. But yeah, this is true for me. I do not have a girl friend yet and
so, there hardly arises a question of me knowing the kind of marriage I would
personally prefer.

Since the time I was born, I have attended all the marriages
of my aunts and uncles. I hardly have any stark memories from any of those,
considering that I was too young then to stick things to my memory for permanence.
There is one common thing in all of them though- All are arranged marriages. (I remember being part of a play in the Annual
Day of my school when I was in Class 8 where I was playing the role of a
husband who was ready to burn his wife because she couldn’t pay the dowry.
Although that arranged marriage was
too sensitive, I can’t say it wasn’t funny. The final scene had me and my
family behind the bars chakki-peesing :D)

When I moved to Delhi four years ago, for the first time I
noticed the concept of love marriages
in real life- the marriage of my roommates’ parents. Otherwise, before that,
love marriages took place only in films and it was something that was always
against parents’ will.

It was here in Delhi that I noticed the grandness of
flaunting the fact that one was in a
relationship. The advent of facebook into the Indian markets at that time,
gave a kick to this movement. Now,
every single person was either single or committed. Changing the status from “in
a relationship” to “single” and then to “it’s complicated” now happened within
minutes. Relationships became a show-to-my-friends
affair.

All this has been going on in my mind since I started
thinking about what to write for this topic. Love vs Arranged is a hugely
debated and discussed topic in almost all families. I remember my mom joking
about my marriage when I was young- You
wouldn’t wait for us to look for a bride for you. You would get married, come
to us and say, “Accept her or we are leaving”. My grandmother often talks
about seeing me, the eldest son in the family, getting married. She says, Marry an Odia girl and nobody else.
Explaining to a 70-year old what love
marriages are and how prevalent they are in today’s time, would be a waste of
time and perhaps, hurting her sentiments and so I smile and nod.

What remains now is the direct answer to the question- Which
is better? I, being a 20-year old, with no experience of being in a relation (say love)
or having any idea when my parents would be getting me married (say arranged), am hardly the right person to
speak on behalf of any of the two strong contenders here. If I have to decide,
perhaps, I would prefer to wait right now and see if I get myself into a love relation before my family starts to
arrange for a bride for me. Till
then, let the debate continue and some emo-scientific researches arrive so as
to facilitate an easier understanding of this complex life-subject and help me
and my fellow mates choose a destiny for themselves. Haha…

"She says, Marry an Odia girl and nobody else. Explaining to a 70-year old what love marriages are and how prevalent they are in today’s time, would be a waste of time and perhaps, hurting her sentiments and so I smile and nod."

She has a reason to like you more than me now...I gave her a mini-heart attack when she tAlked to me about marriage an year back. Wise pota you're..>!

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