very deep thoughts from a very deep person

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And, in the “Can Only Happen to ME” category…

I can only focus on one project at a time. And by ‘focus’ I usually mean, “procrastinating and worrying yet not actually doing”…this week, it’s Robin’s Bachelorette Party! First of all, I have no idea what to wear. I haven’t been to one of these since the late 90s. Since that one involved a male stripper with stubble on his BUTT and a Hummer limo and married women who seemingly FORGOT they were married (NOT ME!!!!)…I sure hope things have changed! lol

What hasn’t changed is the ‘need‘ for penis party favors! (and WHY?? WHY??!!) Michelle’s in charge but I felt like contributing…and taking a trip to the local sex shop is always entertaining…and enlightening…and skeevy…the variety of penis shaped objects is astounding. Penis whistles, penis pens, penis and BALLS pasta (don’t forget to “mind the step children” even in your pasta bowl I guess?), penis water guns, need I go on??

I got a few things…including some delicious looking chocolate penis lollipops! (to be non-discriminatory, I got white chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate!) And, in typical Kelly fashion, I left them in the car while I did other errands…wonder what happened? Half melted chocolate c*cks! lol They’re sort of misshapen, bent at odd angles…I think it gives them character! And, it’s still chocolate, right?! It’s all good, right?

Back to the penis theme. Why?? I don’t see dudes out buying vagina lollipops. You never see a Bachelor wearing a vulva necklace or even sipping his cocktail (he he) out of a booby straw. Why is that? Is it some sort of Penis Worship? Or is it discrimination against the girly parts? Or perhaps it’s just Marketing FAIL? Maybe some company can make the vagina ‘cool‘ and ‘happenin‘??