Saturday, April 18, 2009

It’s Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals this afternoon as the Capitals host the Rangers, and it promises to be a good one. The teams…

“Hey, Peerless, how ya doin’? How ya doin’?”

Rodney! Long time, no see, pal. What have you been up to?

“Well, I’ll tell ya, I’ve been watching that goaltender of yours, Jose Theodore, and I’ll tell ya….I thought I got no respect. I’ll bet Theodore’s parents gave him a toaster and a radio as bath toys when he was a kid.”

That’s a little harsh, don’t you think, Rodney?

“Are you kiddin’? In his family tree, he’s the sap!”

Well, I’m not sure…

“C’mon, he’d probably go to a sports psychologist and say everyone hates him…and the doc would say ‘you’re bein’ ridiculous…everyone hasn’t seen you play yet.’”

At least he still has his looks.

“Are you kiddin’? As a kid, he was so ugly his mother fed him with a sling shot…and he still couldn’t catch anything.”

Sounds like a rough childhood.

“Yeah…but I heard a Caps fan sent him an invitation to join a bridge club…yeah, next Tuesday he’s supposed to jump off the Woodrow Wilson Bridge.”

Hope it’s not at rush hour.

“And when he parks his car over at Kettler to go to practice, fans follow him around with a pooper-scooper.”

Well, that’s Arlington for you…

“He was sick about the game the other night and went to his doctor…he said, ‘doc, I look in the mirror, and I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong?’ The doctor said, ‘I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.’”

Well, that’s a good thing for a goaltender.

“Are you kiddin’? He gets no respect. On the team plane, after they have their meal, they make him do the dishes.”

It can’t be that bad.

“Yeah?...when he was a kid, he had a yo-yo…it never came back.”

Well, it could be worse.

"How?...when he was a kid, he was told he had to start at the bottom.”

Well, a lot of folks get that lesson.

“He was taking swimming lessons.”

Yikes!

“Yeah, and when he was getting started in hockey and wanted to go on the ice at the lake, he was told, “not now, wait ‘til it gets warmer.’”

That’s a tough way to learn hockey.

“It’s no better now…at his house, when the dog barks, it doesn’t want to go for a walk, it wants Theodore to leave.”

So what do you think, Rodney…does he have a big game in him today?

“I tell ya, I got a lotta respect for a guy who doesn’t get any respect, ya know what I mean?”

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