The Bachelorette recap: 'Cheers to you for being a bitch'

Anyhow, Becca gets proof of life by calling David on the phone — he promises her he’ll be back for the rest of the “journey” as soon as he recovers — and then heads off to the group date. Clay, Leo, Christon, Ryan, John, Garrett, Mike, Lincoln, Connor, and Blake meet the Bachelorette on the Ventura College field for a football-themed date. Team Bachelorette has also invited Malissa Miles and Dina Karwoski, two players from the all-female Legends Football League, to ensure maximum humiliation.

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Man, it would be really embarrassing if Clay’s team (Lincoln, Mike, John, Blake) didn’t win in the inevitable “Becca Bowl,” wouldn’t it? “It’s gonna be some pretty bad football,” Harrison says to his co-announcer, Keyshawn Johnson. “Let’s be honest.”

You are correct, sir. And unfortunately for Clay, his teammate Lincoln is the most inept player of all.

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You know what that means: Clay has to do all the damn work himself. When the blue team falls behind 21-7, Clay basically plays every position and manages to even the score, but not without busting up his wrist real good.

Medics cart him off to the ER, while Becca and the rest of the guys gather at Big Daddy’s antique store/event space for some intimate chats in a shabby-chic environment. Though she’s sad Clay can’t be there, Becca has a good time smooching Garrett, Leo, and Blake (who’s already calling Becca his “girlfriend,” and she LOVES it). Before the end of the night, though, Clay returns with his arm in a sling — and the Bachelorette is so happy to see him she gives him a kiss, and the date rose.

And the final cocktail party is upon us! Becca is feeling great — “I truly feel l like my man and my future husband is in that group of guys” — but Clay is stressing out. The doctor says he needs an operation on his wrist immediately if he wants to keep playing football — a sport he loves, and also the job that helps him support his loved ones financially. So should he leave early to protect his NFL career — which Clay estimates will last another three years — or should he take a chance on “love” now? Survey says…

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Awwwwww, I hate to see Clay go. Maybe he’ll be all healed up in time for Paradise? Becca’s sad too, but she understands. “How great is it that he still wants to provide for his family?” she says, wiping away tears. “I would never want to take that away from him.”

Team Bachelorette, however, has no problem taking the rose ceremony away from us — because the episode is over! We’ll apparently pick things up at the cocktail party next week, when David returns, having undergone a pixelectomy:

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No matter what David looks like now, she’s gotta give him a rose, right? And now, rose lovers, it’s time to assess what we’ve just seen. Did Clay make the right choice? Were you surprised at how quickly Becca got over the Tia issue with Colton? And how many more promos will it take until you crack and agree to watch The Proposal? Post your thoughts below!