God Opens Christian Embassy Inside the Pentagon

Unconfirmed sources report that God almighty himself has opened a branch office inside the Pentagon. The Christian Embassy was opened with great fanfare yesterday as leading military officers met with God’s chosen representatives in a posh set of offices inside the Pentagon. The Christian Embassy is not open to the public and only members of the military with top secret or better clearance will be able to communicate with God through the Embassy.

While many greet the opening of the Christian Embassy inside the Pentagon with pleasure some question the choice of location. While not openly criticizing God’s decision to locate his first branch office in the Pentagon’s E-Ring some people privately wonder if a more accessible location might have been a better choice. God could not be reached for comment, but members of the military where happy to speak to the issue.

“The E-Ring is the perfect place for the Christian Embassy.” Says 4 Star General Horace Brookmeyer. “We at the Pentagon are God’s Christian soldiers. We are doing God’s work here in this building every day. I might even guess that we send more people to God on a regular basis that anyone else around. I think God’s choice to locate here is just recognition for all the good work we are doing.”

“As to whether a more public location would be better, just I don’t think so. This is a direct connection with God, not some fast food drive through. The Christian world is just going to take our word for it…when the US military acts, we act under the direction of God. Trust me.”

General Brookmeyer explained that God’s representatives have already been booked up by official Pentagon and White House business for 18 months, but that after that a limited amount of time would be available for favored religious groups and well as individuals willing to donate the Christian Embassy Political Action Committee.

God could not be reached to confirm rumors that a second branch of the Christian Embassy would soon open on Capitol Hill.

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.