Royal Blackmail pair jailed, Burrell still at large

Two would-be blackmailers were today jailed at Her Majesty's pleasure for attempting to sell details of what pleasures her majesty and other royals.

The two scallywags had an audio tape of an unknown butler detailing the sexual pecadillos of various royals.

Apparently three pecadillos were involved but they have since been released back into the wild.

It has been revealed that what pleases her majesty most is keeping men locked up for years on end with only a bucket for company. She is a regular subscriber to Prisoners monthly and is known to have begged for a part in Bad Girls.

Paul Burrel, a former royal butler, has not been seen in public since the trial began.

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