No, I’m not drinking, but I do engage in other self-destructive behaviors-which I wish I had more willpower from which to refrain. Chief among them, I know that my Dodge Dart can go well over 100 mph, and that’s not just a bad idea. That’s seven shades of stupid when you do that at the age of 47.

By the way, I never did that with her in the car-again, seven shades of stupid.

It’s quite certain that she’s thinking about this, too. This is because she is not the kind of woman who doesn’t keep her word. She knew that I was worried about this possibility, because I voiced it.

Love is love and it shouldn’t be interfered with-by anyone. It’s ironic that somehow the one who abused her passed the test and I didn’t. This has happened throughout the centuries, as parents broke the hearts of their children by making prejudicial decisions or by choosing not understand the suitor’s experiences.

What did Jesus say about this? Well, I (as almost always) have the answer to this question:

Matthew 7:1-51“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

The Christian left has warned that the judging of others is one of the reasons why people detest Christianity. It also holds the position that preachers who preach against greed, but have plenty besides cause people to doubt the validity of the Bible.

Even though I detest religion, I know Jesus was the Son of God, simply by all of the scientific and historical evidence. However, that’s not enough for many Christians when you have a relationship with their daughters. I came to the understanding that my rather lousy relationship with God the Father played into this-never mind that Christianity is what made me suicidal in the first place before I was even thirteen-years-old. This happened via social ostracization, serious degrees of bullying, and the Church’s willingness to ignore my cries for help against the spiritual violence which happened to me.

What did Paul write about the quality of faith?

Romans 14:11Accepttheonewhosefaith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.

The Church continues to experience problems in this area, as Christians judge actions without considering motivation. Okay, I shouldn’t have played my Black Sabbath album in the sanctuary last week. However, Sabbath prevented my suicide after the Church nearly caused it thirty-five years ago, and Christianity, not only nearly caused it, but did nothing to prevent it.

Hey, I’m a sinner like everyone else, but at least I try to understand why people are the way the are. I guess we can thank liberalism and my psychology degree for that one, huh? Parents need to consider the emotional consequences of their daughters before allowing their prejudices to ruin their lives.

Love is love and you’re not supposed to buy it. While Christians say that money isn’t everything, that position quickly changes when they see a guy at the door who holds the hand of their daughter.

What did Paul write about wealth in 1 Timothy 6:17?

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.”

What did Paul write in 1 Corinthians 7:9 about sex and marriage?

1 Corinthians 7:9New International Version (NIV)

“9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Oh, and as for my doing this for the money is concerned, as 1 Timothy 6:5 points out:

New International Version
“…and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.”

Remember that money is the problem in the first place. I still certain that I wouldn’t be approved of even if I became a millionaire. Funny, but I could have sworn that both Paul and Ronnie James Dio agreed that money had nothing to with love.

HYPOCRISY IS THE REASON WHY CHRISTIANITY IS DYING!

The breaking of a daughter’s heart comes at a price, so does breaking hearts of grandchildren, as that little girl cried and gave me one of the tightest hugs I have ever felt.

Christianity proves itself to be more phony as the days roll past because of those who sit in the pews. Hell will be filled with Christians, and I can prove it.

Matthew 8:11-1211I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

No one is ever good enough for a Christian parent. Remember that the man of whom they approved beat their daughter severely and he is still a negative force in their daughter’s life, as well as the lives of the grandchildren-and that’s not too bright, kids.

Any psychologist will tell you that.

Isn’t that, right, Mr. Dio?

And Rabbi, what saith thou about my faith, since I accept the faith that I know you are God’s Son?

Matthew 17:20

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.”

Now, Rabbi, I struggle daily in my faith in You, and I despise Your Church because of its hypocrisy and judgments of others whom the members of the same choose not to understand. What of that? You saw what happened to me at church last week when I was physically threatened by one of the ushers, who said that he would: “kick your ass out of here.”

Romans 14:11Accepttheonewhosefaith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.

While we’re on the subject, what about the use of foul language by a Christian-especially by an usher or an elder? Remember that he said he would throw my ass out, so I’m not the hypocrite here-especially in the midst of my pain. Now, I’m guilty, too. However, You saw me take responsibility for it.

James 3:9-129With the tongue we praise our LORD and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Okay, Lord. I admit that I’m also guilty of that-mainly because the deprivation which I have experienced has caused me to joke about the calmities of others. Now, while that’s a sin, what is Your stance on my rather sick sense of humor?

Remember that he said he would throw my ass out, so I’m not the hypocrite here-especially in the midst of my pain.

Hm. It seems like my relationship with God might be better than people believe-even if I do blast Black Sabbath in the church parking lo-or in the sanctuary, for that matter. Jesus knows why I do that, and He gets it-even though I don’t understand everything about Him.

By the way, Christ has a message for you.

Matthew 5:7New International Version (NIV)

7 Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.

So, what about those who go to church every Sunday and judge people whom they don’t understand?

Matthew 8:11-1211I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Have you ever noticed how the first notes on these recordings are louder than those on the rest of the tune?
Okay, I’m no sound man. Hell, I’m half-deaf as it is, and it’s not from being a heavy metal musician for 33 years. After all, Paul Stanley was already half-deaf when Wicked Lester formed in 1970, so that’s not the problem.
Furthermore, there was a period in my life when I worked behind the camera, and that was back in the early 1990s when I worked with Allan Cameron in Santa Clarita, California, so I know a few things about camerawork. However, back to the damn sound.
It would be easier to understand why these recordings are so goofy if the opening notes were as screwy as the rest. However, that is not the case. So, what gives?
Sure, it makes me sound like I haven’t a clue of what the hell I’m doing-and maybe I don’t. I won’t argue about that idea in the sound realm, because I’m only using a $1200 Hewlett-Packard or (even sillier) an i-Phone (I’m serious!).
Here’s what is probably the least believable. The recordings from my i-Phone are of higher quality than those which I record straight from the computer. Hell, I still get better recordings off compact cassette! Yes, I still use compact cassettes and old-fashioned tape recorders.
If I know me, I probably haven’t set up the microphones correctly.
Do I really do music for the money? No, I’m 47-years-old now, and I’m pretty much recording this material for any descendants I might have a century or two down the line. Realistically, about the only way I could ever cut any kind of album is if I made it in this business first-and then, it would have to be after I’m somewhat established.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Although I’m usually the first one to say that those who look at reality may as well give up now, that is the reality of my situation as a musician-especially a metal musician.
The strange thing about this recording is that it’s very much of the 1970’s variety. I personally hear elements of Kiss and Led Zeppelin from about 1975 in something that I just recorded last night (October 7, 2017) around 10:30 p.m.
While the notes might be a bit heavier, the sound is very much from the days of Watergate and the Arab oil embargo against the West.
I would record two guitars, but I’m not quite sure that I could pull it off with this computer. I would probably need a second computer; one to play the rhythm and the other with which to record leads. I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to ask my original lead guitarist or another friend of mine who has worked with Sheena E. and Chicago.
Come to think of it, I wonder if he’s playing at the Baked Potato tonight.

Like this:

Tom Petty gave us great material over the years, but what happened in those final moments before he checked out?

What was in his mind when everything began to shut down?

Did he think about the hits he made?

Did he think of Roy Orbison and George Harrison of the Traveling Wilburys, who had passed before him?

I first became familiar with his music in 1981, when he and Stevie Nicks recorded Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around-and I had already had a huge crush on Stevie Nicks as it already was…ever since the 1977 album from Fleetwood Mac, Rumours, was released. Speaking of Stevie Nicks, that woman gave me one of my first erections back then-and I was only seven-years-old.

People with developmental disabilities are more capable than you believe.

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While it’s true that these recordings aren’t exactly perfect, I release them as is due to the fact that my short-term memory is lacking. The main point is that Americans with developmental disabilities can create, whether you think they can or not.
I can always perfect the recording later.

I can actually hear the percussion parts in my mind as I compose the tune-too bad I can’t play a set of Slingerlands worth a damn.

This is kind of a thrash piece that I’ve been contemplating for a few hours. It kind of reminds me of something that Anthrax would have recorded for the 1985 album Spreading the Disease.

I saw something which just about made me vomit upon watching the New York Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys game on NBC

I KNOW THAT THE LATE LEMMY KILMISTER WOULD NOT HAVE APPROVED OF THE USE OF HIS WORK TO SELL A CAR-AND A CRAPPY CAR, AT THAT!

Ace of Spades? Kia? ARE YOU PUTTING ME ON?!

Ace of Spades was the title track from Motorhead’s 1980 album. It was loaded with classics like Shoot You in the Back, Jailbait, and (We Are) The Roadcrew, so do these tunes match up with a Kia?

More like Chevy SS, Ford Mustang, or Dodge Challenger.

Seriously! Who works in these marketing departments?

My degree is in psychology, but I could tell you that an idiot put that tune in the commercial. Furthermore, I met Lemmy Kilmister, and I could tell you that he would not approve of this, as Lemmy was about as anti-establishment as one could get-and he wasn’t joking about his lifestyle, either.

Like this:

I couldn’t find a Peavey at Guitar Center in Irvine, California, so I got this, and I think it’s still in storage. That Jackson is probably my favorite axe, and for an obvious reason. I also have a Dean and a Fender. The Dean looks like Ritchie Blackmore’s Fender Stratocaster. I also have a Fender Gemini II acoustic, which I bought in 1986.

My best friend and I started a band in Los Angeles, California in 1985 and we would write long into the night, hitting the streets after 10 p.m.-and I have no idea how in the hell we pulled that off without getting busted, because we go to friends’ houses and go off on our bikes or skateboards to McDonald’s. We would then play hacky sack in the street until one in the morning and go back to writing lyrics until around three in the morning.

The funny part is that I would wake up around 7:30 in the morning and take one of the axes. It was at this point that I would be “asked” to take it outside, where I could perfect the tune he and I composed the night before, so I would be there with an old tape recorder and the axe.

It took me longer to learn songs because of the brain damage-and I hated it. I felt stupid, but that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t know how to learn for my situation.

I wish I had enough confidence to play leads, because I would have been a much more effective member of the band. What really irritated the hell out of me was the fact that I
would forget chord changes which we had just written, and I felt stupid for it. However, it was years later that I came to realize that I was never stupid; that I had a learning disability to overcome.

I went back to writing when the heavy metal thing didn’t come to fruition.

Of course, the other side of that $20 bill reads that I’d probably be dead by now by 25 had we been signed, and that’s because I have always been a person of extremes in every aspect of life. It’s not something which I aim for. It just works out that way.

It’s amazing that this brain damaged mess has played heavy metal for over thirty years, but this is why I have become so pissed off at parents of so-called “low-functioning” children-because I wasn’t supposed to amount to anything at all.

I’m in a really bad mood today. I don’t believe it’s a good idea for me to write about the issue at this particular moment in time because I’m livid. I haven’t had any sleep since 8:30 yesterday morning.

I cannot go into the particulars at this exact moment in time. However, someone very special to me was there when I needed her yesterday. Her voice helped come down for at least a little while. She’s an angel.

This recording is a first draft, but I figured it was good enough. I don’t have an album coming out, so who cares? You get the gist of it.

One of the things I like about E is it’s a really angry key. It’s like knocking a hole in one of the walls in your apartment so that you can hit your neighbor in the back of the head.

That’s how I feel right now.

This is where I truly have to be careful with regard to how I write, because I am not on firm ground right now. This comes with traumatic brain injury.

I don’t know how long I will be in this Green Hell (remember that tune?), but just bear with me while this spiritual bowel movement passes.

I’ll tell what happened when the time is right.

You’ll still see me here, because I have a job to do. However, please realize that I’m trying to watch myself carefully until this crap is resolved.

I’m not a Bruce Kulick, Eddie Van Halen, Randy Rhoads, or even a Malcolm Young (before tragedy struck him), but I’m pretty damn good for someone with severe brain damage.

I’m composing again, after many years of not.

Why? I suppose it’s because I need to. I have to remain busy in one way or another, while I wait for the Master’s program at University of Phoenix to begin, and this little piece actually took roughly twenty minutes for me to get it nearly to how I wanted it to sound-at least from a structural viewpoint. From an electronic viewpoint, the quality is almost as bad as a Panasonic tape recorder from 1984, but a small computer microphone is what you use when you have to sell used toilet paper on the poor side of town for gas money.

There are two challenges with in regards to composition. The first is remembering the chord progression, since I have the short-term memory of a funnel, and the second is to remember how I wanted it to sound.

There are some things which go through my mind as I listen to this recording loop on my laptop. The first is that this seems to have a raw 1970’s AC/DC sound-back when Bon Scott was still alive. The second is that I’m really surprised that I recorded this on the first take with almost no mistakes.

I don’t understand why the sound seems to cut out at :11 into the recording, because I didn’t move at all, but I guess I’ll figure it out eventually.

The equipment I used for this recording was a Fender Strat Squire, a Peavey Envoy 110 amplifier, and a DOD Hard Rock Distortion FX57, as my Jackson and my Fender acoustic are currently in storage in Irvine, California, along with my Boss DS-1, which I bought in 1985.

The Fender Strat Squire and Peavey Envoy 110 are what you will always hear until further notice whenever I decide to throw one of these recordings on this page.

You, the reader, are probably wondering why I decided to do this. C’mon, man. I can’t do all politics all the time. Even someone like me has to mix it up a bit. In addition, this is further proof that someone with a developmental disability can actually do something and be useful in the world.

Like this:

I originally composed this back around 2001, but I got a Peavey amplifier and a Fender Squire, so I was able to re-record it this year.

I never gave this composition a name, but the rhythm from this actually helped me learn one phrase in Russian: “Ya magu gavarit pa Ruskie.”

“I speak Russian.”

The devushkas (young, unmarried Russian women) would laugh when I finished it with: “Angliski nyet!”

That means, “English, no.”

And that’s technically true.

I used to, anyway. I was chasing the Russian and Armenian tails in my apartment complex in Van Nuys, California back then. Nice-looking girls-and with manners!

You don’t see that in Los Angeles-especially in the San Fernando Valley. The Valley is the Detroit of Porn, you know. That actually makes sense when you consider the fact that General Motors used to build the Camaro and the Firebird there.

One sleek body design for another sleek body design, I always say.

Keep in mind that I actually have severe brain damage and that I really should not have any ability to do this. So, shove that up your right-wing ass, Crescent Hardy.

I’m so glad that bastard lost his bid for re-election! It would just be great if he had a severe stroke or a spine-crushing automobile accident, because either one of those couldn’t happen to a more humane son-of-a-whore.