Friday, January 8, 2016

FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY

Reviewing exploitation films can make you jaded. You watch and pick them apart and become so absorbed in the criticism that at times you have dissected them so thoroughly that you lose enjoyment and what was intended by the filmmaker to be a bit of escapism becomes more of a chore because of the plausibility throughout them. But, this insanely fun film is an exception. I could find many flaws within this film to give it a negatively tilted review, but, this film is such a totally fucked up joyous experience that its good points totally outweighs any of its numerous bad points. This film is a blatant ripoff of the James Bond film FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (UK, USA, 1981), that starred Roger Moore. By this time, the Bond franchises film's were so gimmicky and ridiculous, (but remained profitable nonetheless) that I could not force myself to suffer through anymore after viewing MOONRAKER (UK, France, USA, 1979) at the theater upon its initial release.

The reviews for "SPECTRE" are terrible!

This film's star is the utterly fantastic 2 foot 9 inch charismatic Weng Weng born September 7, 1957 as Ernesto de la Cruz in the Philippines. He became a cultural icon the world over after the release of this film and would go onto to appear in a number of films, until his star burned out and he died alone and in poverty August 29, 1992. If your interested in finding out more on Weng Weng, there is a fantastic documentary called THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG (Australia, 2014) which is highly recommended.

"Director Andrew Leavold will never find me!!!"

Weng Weng plays Agent OO, a pint sized James Bond, who through the use of weaponry and gadgets fights a bumbling gang of thugs to get to a Mr. Giant, who has kidnapped a world famous scientist named Dr. Koehler and is after his formula for the "N" bomb, which Mr. Giant plans on using to conquer the world. Mr. Giant is the head of a crime syndicate who champions the causes of evil. One of Mr. Giant's many illegal businesses includes running a bakery where he puts dope in the dough for distribution, he also besides selling drugs, runs a prostitution ring, and runs an extortion racket. Weng Weng with the aid of an inside informant in Mr. Giant's syndicate, a plant named Irma, whose information helps him to stays one step ahead of the gang who works for Mr. Giant. Eventually it's discovered that Irma is a turncoat and is sent to see Mr. Giant who plans on feeding her and the scientist to the sharks. Weng Weng becomes doubly determined to free the pair because of his growing affection for Irma, and he systematically takes out the gang one by one, until he has eliminated the ones guarding the map to the location of Mr. Giant's island hideaway. Weng Weng uses a jetpack to transport himself to the well guarded island to free the pair of captives as the agencies other agents await the designated time to aid our little hero. This is where I will stop with the synopsis, as I don't want to destroy a thing for the potential first time viewer of this film, let's just say the conclusion is chaotic with many kills for Weng Weng and his supporting agents and a rousing finish to this funky little gem.

Weng Weng runs on Coke

Weng Weng Poppins

This film is littered with plenty of continuity issues and the dubbing is hilarious, as we are given bad British accents, old Hollywood gangster speak and just plan jaw dropping dialogue, case in point, when an inquisitive lackey asks the gang's leader Mr. Kaiser about the possibility of meeting or seeing Mr. Giant (who is not shown until the end), Mr. Kaiser replies, " with that curiosity of yours, your libel to wake up one day and find yourself dead." One woman tells Weng Weng that your a "little guy, very petite like a potato." But the best and the most laugh inducing scene for me was when an attractive police reporter is taking pictures of a dead body at a crime scene, one of the people looking on says, " I wonder if she does weddings and bar mitzvahs?" The score is a variation of the Bond theme and is over used to the point of irritation.

The cast is excellent and while not natural as an actor Weng Weng does an admirable job as Agent 00, who is a little ladies man and a bad ass with his guns and with his lethal martial arts moves, which relies heavily on repeated kicks to the genitalia. The body count In this film is high and while not Gore laden, it does showcase a plethora of gunplay and casualties. So here comes the nitpicking time, the first issue is that it seemed that Weng Weng' s gun seemed to jam a lot, forcing him into repeated martial arts related fights to showcase his expertise, the use of the sliding across the floor gag and shooting someone was overdone and he spent much of the film running as he was never shown operating a motor vehicle. But those are just some small things that cannot detract anything from this schlocky B-movie that gave this old jaded ass reviewer the thrill of finding that exploitation gem I've been searching for the last few months.

"I just saw boobies!"

Is this more degrading than midget bowling or what?

The director of this film Eddie Nicart has fifteen known directing credits which includes this film along with the Weng Weng films AGENT OO (Phillipines, 1981), IMPOSSIBLE KID OF KUNG FU (Phillipines, 1981) and D' WILD WILD WENG (Phillipines, 1982). Weng Weng has twelve credits listed on his IMBD page and those listed are the film's that have been found and documented, more films perhaps lost forever were made but have yet if ever to surface. Weng Weng appeared again as Agent 00 in the films AGENT 00 and THE IMPOSSIBLE KID OF KUNG FU. He was briefly featured in Mark Hartley's Filopinosploitation documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed (-ed). Weng Weng was once the darling of the Filipino cinema and media who was close friends of the first lady Imelda Marcos and a sought after interview and television guest, he went from a popular media figure to living in squalor and forgotten in less than 10 years, a real tragedy in my mind.