Kobe Bryant's guarantee that the Lakers will make the playoffs should come as no surprise. Did anyone expect him to say they wouldn't make it? DAVID ZALUBOWSKI, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The belief here is the Lakers will make the playoffs, and the explanation as to why hasn't changed one iota throughout their whole peculiar, disappointing and staggeringly uneven season.

The Lakers will make the playoffs just because.

Because they're the Lakers.

Because they always do.

Because there's no way a team with so many individual accomplishments can collectively fail that badly.

The answer for the Lakers is the same one that follows so many of the deepest questions in sports. Why is pitcher's mound 60 feet, 6 inches from home plate? Why is a safety worth two points? Why does Barry Melrose still insist on wearing hair from 1984?

Just because, that's why.

It isn't the soundest argument scientifically, but, when it comes to picking against Kobe Bryant – even with his odometer rolling into six digits – science often doesn't matter.

Just ask Mark Cuban about trying to play psychological games with Bryant. Even if that wasn't Cuban's intent – and we're guessing it wasn't – Bryant conveniently took it that way and externally combusted all over the Dallas Mavericks.

The Lakers remain two games below .500 and three games outside the playoffs, but both those gaps will disappear over the final seven weeks of the regular season.

Breaking down what remains on the schedule, we have the Lakers finishing 16-8 for a final record of 44-38, which should be good enough for the No. 8 seed.

(Yes, we're ignoring the remaining schedules for Houston and Utah here, but there's a reason for that. No one reading this cares about the Rockets and Jazz.)

Among the highlights, we have the Lakers splitting their remaining games against Golden State and Atlanta, defeating Chicago and Memphis at home and losing to Oklahoma City and the Clippers.

Two facts to remember concerning the Lakers' schedule: Seven of their final eight games are at Staples Center (including a roadie against the Clippers) and three of their final four legitimate road games come against teams that won't be going to the playoffs.

We also have them beating San Antonio on the final Sunday of the regular season, assuming that game means nothing to the Spurs and Coach Gregg Popovich, who not only will rest his Big Three but also attempt to start only four players.

Our scenario has the Lakers topping Houston, too, in their regular-season finale, which will clinch the tiebreaker for them over the Rockets, based on conference record.

See, folks, in an unexpected twist, we actually did our homework for this column. So we can guarantee the accuracy of our projections.

On the subject of guarantees, Sports Illustrated's Jack McCallum, who knows more about the NBA than we ever will, thought so much of Bryant's promise that the Lakers will qualify the postseason he placed it in the next-to-last paragraph of a story that occupied six pages.

Undeterred, the remainder of the media blew up Bryant's words, making them headline news for two days, as if one of the most celebrated competitors in sports history would forecast anything for himself and his team other than success.

Bryant also promised that he had no fear about the opponents the Lakers might face in the postseason, specifically mentioning the Thunder, Spurs and Nuggets. Strange how the Clippers didn't make Bryant's fearless list.

This confidence is good news for the Lakers. The bad news is whomever they do play also will enter that first-round series without the burden of fear.

And that's the bigger issue here. Making the playoffs isn't a triumph for this franchise. Most years, it's a given. This year, it's a dream, the only thing left for which to play, not that these Lakers show up every night to play, anyway.

Qualifying for the postseason won't salvage anything of real value for this team, but it at least would paint this year in a less neon shade of embarrassing.

How's that for a rallying cry for the future? The 2012-13 Lakers: We weren't completely humiliating!

Based on their ability so far to sustain nothing, does anyone really expect these Lakers to advance beyond one postseason round?

This whole operation is about NBA titles and, right now, Dwight Howard simply isn't healthy enough to be the inside anchor the drifting Lakers need to win a seven-game series.

And the possible return of Pau Gasol for the playoffs? He couldn't fit in over the course of months. How's he going to do it in just a few days?

So, the Lakers will make the playoffs, and then, after that, won't make much more than a whimper. They certainly are playing better now than they have all season. But they don't have enough time to improve as much as they need to.

We've broken down their schedule, assessed their situation and reached a verdict that suggests hope but ultimately an empty conclusion.

Going forward, the Lakers will be good. But not good enough. And why not? Just because.

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