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Revenge
On Bad Neighbors With Help From The Revenge Guy

Do you need a little help getting even with neighbors that have done
you wrong? Maybe an oldie but a goodie revenge technique is just what
you need to help you get even and regain your stature as a self-reliant,
not to be messed with, person. You know, we've all had bad neighbors.
Heck, when we were younger, when our parents were away, we were the bad
neighbors. And revenge requires that certain steps are first taken
before the 'getting even action' begins.

So here is RG's "Steps of Revenge Preparation"

— document everything in a journal, make notes of dates, times,
events, everything, leave nothing out and write down your entries on the
day they happen

— protect your family and property with video surveillance

— contact your local city council (residential condominium strata
council if you live in such a development) and understand the bylaws as
they pertain to your situation

These simple steps, although time consuming, are necessary to make
any type of revenge successful.

I have learned, over all, that there are no "good" upstairs
neighbors. After all, no one ever (as far as I can remember and I have
the memory of an elephant) has complained about their downstairs
neighbors. So, if you're in the position of having to move into a place
that has upstairs and downstairs neighbors, be the person on top. Or I'm
sure I'll hear from you soon enough.

Can I Beat The Neighbors At Their Own Game? Read
on…

Hi
Revenge Guy,
This is a fairly recent problem.

I have lived next door 6 years (houses are very close) to a fairly
wealthy younger than me couple who have 5 children ranging from 1-12.
They recently extended their already huge house to a more huge house.

A couple of times I have asked the kids to stop bashing on the fence
early in the morning and once I knocked on their door because their dog
had barked constantly for hours. So a couple of months ago their dog
barked constantly until around 2.30am (the dog is locked in the pool
area which is right next to my bedroom window).

Their bedrooms are all located on the other side front of their
house. I got up at 2.30am and wrote a nice note saying "Neighbor, its
2.30am and your dog hasn’t stopped barking could you please do something
about it". In response I received a 3 page extremely nasty letter,
telling me to get ear plugs, about my boyfriend’s motor bike, about my
mother cats etc., etc.

I went and spoke to them and thought I had sorted it out, maybe? I
then get a visit from my neighbour’s across the road who tell me that
their old busy body neighbour had come to tell them that my neighbour’s
had given me some home truths in a letter. I was so upset that I started
playing music (pretty loud but not late). I then get a visit from the
police telling me my neighbour, who I obviously had a problem with, had
complained and I needed to turn down my music (this was at 8.30pm by no
means late). Ever since I think my neighhbour is trying to get me to
sell and move, they have now installed a skate ramp right next to the
fence next to my bedroom window. The fence seems to be used as the
buffer.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m 50 I live with my 74 year old
mother and we are both very quiet. What can I do, I’m just about to have
a nervous breakdown. I need a revenge to get them back and something
they can’t pin on me. Neighbor husband is an engineer. His wife is fat
and ugly, she is a home breeder. We do not have the same friends and I
don’t have their phone number but know their names.
Thanks!
-Very Tired Homeowner

Hi
Tired,
You are in a difficult position, there’s no doubt of that but it is time
to fight back, so to speak.

Start with talking to your neighbors about your troubles. Video tape
the offenses these people are making and be sure you capture all of the
noise. Share this with the neighbors that are on your side. You need
help from them. Youtube too maybe?

Check out your city planning department, once you have this evidence,
about what they might be able to help you with. Doesn’t their property
tax go up with the improvements they have made? Everyone loves the tax
man coming for a visit.

Talk to your local city representative, the more noise you make the
more fuel you add to your righteous fire.

Contact the local animal authority as well, dogs barking in the
middle of the night are bad news for everyone and there’s usually fines
that go along with that.

I wouldn’t worry about being found out, they’ve pretty much have a
household out of control and everyone knows it, shame can be a great
motivator to get your neighbors under control.Cheers!
RG

Dear
Revenge Guy,
About 6 years ago we purchased a vacation home by the. Everyone
there was nice. Except for this one family…

I need some advice on what to do with them. Here are a few stories
on all of them:

1. The husband. He seems to feel he is a "Decision Maker" for
everything.

An example would be with the road. All because his driveway dips
down a bit, so it sometimes puddles there when it rains, made him
have the town raise the road a few inches, which wasn't really all
that bad. However, we have an in-ground pool close to the street
with several expensive items around it, so we had to spend about
$500 getting paneling so the next rain doesn't pile up in the road
and wash everything away. Not to mention overflow the pool.

He has actually annoyed the whole town. Not to mention he has a
criminal record.

Oh-one more thing. One of our good neighbors said he washes his cars
in OUR DRIVEWAY when we're not around. He also parks his car in our
driveway when we're not around. He also did something that made my
car battery die. I truly hate him.

2.The wife-Sometimes annoying. Here is another story:

I've always had stray cats around my vacation home. I never want
them to starve, so I feed them. There was this one cat who came
every day. About 2 weeks later, I noticed that she had 2 small
kittens. I noticed later that they lived under another neighbor's
shed.

I planned to either adopt them or give them to a relative who's cat
recently died.

Well guess what-after the wife found out we were feeding cats and
that they lived next to them, I instantly knew by the way she acted
that she was going to get them removed and probably killed.

They were not even on her property, and she still thinks she can get
them taken killed!!!! She knew I was going to adopt them, but,
still!!!!!! The nerve!!!!!!

I am, at the moment, arranging plans to report this to the
authorities, but I haven't succeeded yet. I really hope I can adopt
them! They are adorable!

3. The son:

He is somewhere in his thirties, and owns a small company that
resells computers and other technological items to businesses.

When my computer broke, I decided to get one from him. It was good
overall, but I needed something else. I left him a voicemail message
telling him I wanted it.

What does he do?

He charges my credit card without verifying or asking me what I
wanted in any way!!!!!!

One more thing-He charged us more than $100 more than it retails
for, and raised it more than $50 than he said it sells for!!!!

I can't believe I was ripped off.

So, you see, I just can't live with these people in my neighborhood.

They're a menace to society!!!!! Sometimes I feel like taking a
siren (I have a Federal Model A, for you siren fans) and setting it
right off in they're yard!!!
Thank you,
Paul

Hi
Paul,
Yes, you need to take matters into your own hands.

We’ll start from the last:

3. If he sold you a computer and charged your credit card without
authorization you should have immediately (as soon as you found out)
called the credit card company and had the charge reversed. If you
don’t do this, who will look after your credit?

2. Call the authorities… don’t jump top conclusions, all that does
is raise the blood pressure.

1. Get a video surveillance system, they’re cheap enough.

Catch him in the act and call the police. AND, if your neighbors are
talking about what he does in your driveway when you’re away, get
them to take some pictures! Someone has to watch over your property
when you’re not there! Make friends, watch each other’s backs!

And get the info and do all you legally can to this jerk.

You didn’t give me an idea of what you actually know about these
people, names, jobs, phone numbers, address, etc…

If you have any of that, start a campaign of posters “For rent”
around town with their place on it. Do the same with their phone
number, a “moving sale” with cheaply priced furniture will get the
calls coming for them.Go get’em!
RG

Dear
Revenge Guy,
I have loud neighbors.

They have 3 Harley bikes I told
them to please stop revving the bikes by my house.

Now they rev
more. What can I do?

Hi,
The first thing I have to ask is:
Do you want to be friends or enemies with your neighbors?

Friends:
Talk to them again about why the noise is disturbing. Thank them for
keeping the noise to reasonable hours.

Talk to your other neighbors and have them also speak to the guys
making the noise. Complaints are better when focused by a group
rather than an individual.

Enemies:
Call the police and complain about the noise. Suggest that the
motorcycles may be unlicensed, uninsured, hazardous drivers, and so
on.
Keep a detailed journal of their comings and goings and the ensuing
noise.
Talk to your neighbors and start a petition concerning noise
control. Take the petition to your city councillor.

Call the police again.

Put up a fence and sue them for the cost of it.
Install video cameras or have one handy to record the noise and
problems these neighbors are causing.

Keep the pressure up about their poor behavior. Keep neighbors and
the police and city hall involved in your "loss of enjoyment of
property". Call a lawyer and threaten to sue.

Threaten to sue your noisy neighbors.

Threaten to sue city hall for not enforcing noise bylaws.

Revenge:
Along the side of your property that abuts their property start
storing garbage. Let the smell fester so that they won’t want to be
outside anymore.
Park your car in the street, not in your driveway. Get them to drive
around it.
Water your yard. A lot. Let the water flood the street. Let them
drive through the mess.

Start outdoor parties for the local children. Offer free sodas, meet
the kids parents. Keep the street busy during the usual noisy
periods and force them to behave.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,
I love your website. I was hoping you could help me with my pain in
the ass neighbor.

My wife and I have a cat that likes to
walk through his back yard sometimes. Our yard is fenced but the cat
just climbs over and likes to sit under a tree in his yard.

Our butthead neighbor has three dogs
that chase my cat away. No big deal if the cats in his yard.
However, this evening I caught him opening the front door to let his
dog out so it could chase my cat out of our own front yard. This is
the third time I caught him urging his dogs on my cat while he was
in his own yard.

I called the S.P.C.A. and all they did
is inform him that he can set a trap in his yard to catch my cat. I
know he will set a trap and bait it with tuna.

If and when he catches my cat, and
every other cat in the neighborhood, he will torture it and most
likely kill him. What do you suggest I do?

I don’t want to keep my cat indoors
all day, a prisoner in his own home.

By the way there is so much dog crap
in his yard I can’t open my windows without the odor fumigating my
entire house. Hope you can suggest something. I really hate this
guy.
Thanks,
Greg

Hi
Greg,
It’s a known fact that cats that are outdoor wander around. They dig
in gardens, all that stuff. Generally they aren’t a nuisance as much
as the people that complain about them.

I’d like to know why the SPCA told your neighbor to trap the cat
after talking to you. That seems suspicious to me, unless the cat is
destroying property I’m not sure someone is allowed to put out
animal traps on their suburban property. You need to check your
local bylaws about this.

You need to either decide that you have to keep the cat inside, or
figure out a way to protect it outside.

As well, you need to take your complaints to city hall about your
neighbor. It’s time to get the video camera out. Get video of the
dogs misbehaving. Get video of the dog crap all over the place (a
likely health hazard!). Get video of your idiot neighbor being a
jerk. The more video evidence you have the better off you’ll be when
this confrontation escalates. And get worse it will.

Of course, I’d also start throwing chunks of cheese over the fence
for the dogs to eat. Old cheddar really messes with a dog’s poo.
They get the runs and farts real bad. Just don’t get caught tossing
it over.

And if your jerk neighbor does decide to put out traps, I’d start
littering his yard in the middle of the night with dry cat food. Let
him catch all the cats he wants until he’s so tired of dealing with
them that he gives up, hehe.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,
I cannot seem to keep a car for very long because middle-age women
in Chevy Blazers like to run stop signs and hit me.

A few months ago, I bought my first
car, a cheap Honda Civic. Only after one month, a woman in a Chevy
Blazer ran a stop sign and hit my car. I had a typical insurance
battle, everything went smooth in the end with the decent amount for
the car they gave me, and got myself a Ford Probe out of it.

This car was in excellent condition. I
just had it for four months when, low and behold, another woman in a
Chevy Blazer runs a stop sign and demolishes it. I got screwed out
of $1000 by the insurance company, and am still mourning the loss of
my "baby".

There was no damage to her car, and I
am just furious that I have to suffer because of bad drivers. I am a
college student (an art major if it matters), and therefore do not
have money to hire a lawyer and such, or the time to deal with it
besides at 3 in the morning, because of the fact I am a struggling
working student.

I believe that she should have to pay
for smashing my dream. The worst part is that I couldn’t get a
rental car right away because I am under 21, which is the minimal
age to rent a car at the rental companies around my area. This
really put a halt on my life because I commute an hour every day.

I
seriously have nightmares about Chevy Blazers now, and need to come
to closure from this in a way that won’t get me arrested.

Please
help me, I am sick of being screwed by women in Chevy Blazers!
Sincerely,
Ms. Chevy Blazer Magnet

Hi
Ms. Chevy Blazer Magnet,
I feel for you, I really do.

But I’m not sure what you can do against all the drivers of Chevy
Blazers out there other than to try your best to steer clear.

I do hope that you can find a lawyer on a contingency basis to sue
the lady that left you underpaid for your car.

SUV’s in general are driven, for the most part, by asses. These
people park however they want, the don’t shoulder check when
changing lanes and they cut other drivers off all the time. And
never mind their cell phone usage while driving a car full of kids
around.

Geesh, it’s really an unsafe world out there.

Of course, you could make some custom bumper stickers up (you can
get the blanks at any office supplies store and print your own) that
say "I am a careless Blazer driver" and stick them on the back
bumpers of all the Blazers you see.

Helping to warn others will help you overcome your fears and provide
you with the revenge you seek

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,
I have a next door neighbor who is obsessed with his lawn. Many of
my neighbors are, but not to this extent.

He mows it several times a
week and takes an entire day to mow each time. It takes him
four-five hours approximately to mow half an acre with a riding
mower. Then he gets out a push mower and mows again.

If it is nice
the next day, he gets out the riding mower and does it a second
time. Nothing like having a nice short lawn!. He has no job, so
there is no incentive for him to go anywhere except out to fuss with
his yard.

Now I wouldn’t care, except I work at home, and the riding mower’s
noise is beyond obnoxious (90 plus decibels). When I close all my
windows and turn on the stereo, I can still hear vibrations going
through everything and the china rattling. I would sabotage the
mower except I don’t know where he keeps it, and I don’t want to get
in trouble for trespassing.

Also calling the police when he was at
it during the night didn’t work either. Please don’t suggest asking
nicely to restrict the noise – asking inconsiderate jerks nicely for
anything has never worked in my life. Thanks.
Grateful

Hi
Grateful,
If had a neighbor like that and after talking to him his behavior
didn’t change I’d start a major campaign against him.

First off I’d get myself a video camera and record him mowing his
lawn for a couple of times a week, so I have visual evidence of his
compulsive behavior and the noise level. I’d follow up with a noise
level meter to record the actual noise levels.

Some communities have
bylaws that limit the amount of noise pollution that things can give
off. I’d take all of the recordings down to city hall and start
complaining. Maybe start a blog about this bad neighbor too.
Sometimes when the info is online public officials tend to work a
little harder. Maybe even you can get one of the city councilors to
your home when he starts mowing so they can experience the trouble
first hand.

I’d put up a big 4×8 foot plywood sign detailing the trouble with
the neighbor that always mows. Something like "Can you hear what I
hear when he mows his lawn 3 times a week?" Nothing rude or
upsetting, just an explanation or apology to the other neighbors and
travelers that come near the noise. Try to embarrass the guy a
little but not too much.

I’d think about a loud outdoor stereo system, to blast back. A type
of sound war, if the above didn’t work.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,
I live in a trailer park that the houses are close together.

There is a annoying woman that claims
she works nights. So on the weekends when I’m home working on the
house she has come up and yelled for sawing wood, yelled at my son
for mowing lawn. She’s even yelled at our neighbors for music on it
their own house.

Last weekend the hag called the cops
on us cause we had music going in our house, no not speakers propped
up against the windows either, just music going so we could hear
through out the house. We didn’t get ticketed but this women is
getting worse. The cop even said he could hardly hear the music.

This goes on in the middle of the
afternoons, on the weekends, like at 2 o’clock pm. I need some help
dealing with this hag.

The cops say since there a complaint
they have to come. What should I do? I feel like a prisoner in my
own house afraid to make a noise or the cops will come. HELP!!

Hi,
You need to be proactive here, since this freaky neighbor really has
no reason to call the cops on you.

This is what I’d do:
1. Call the local city council and get a copy of the local noise
bylaws. Make sure you read it and understand it. Keep a copy of it
handy for the next time she complains so you can give it to her.

2. Call the police and talk to someone in charge about the
harassment you are getting with her calling the police on you for
unfounded noise complaints, contrary to the bylaws. If you present
your case well enough, they’ll talk to her and then stop responding
to her complaints.

3. Talk to your neighbors, it’s likely they have to put up with the same
crap. Make sure they know how to deal with her as well and start a
petition against her. Maybe that will help to force her to move out.

4. Talk to the park management or owners, make sure they understand
the hell she’s putting you through with her unfounded and outrageous
complaints. Along with your petition and support from your neighbors
they may step in and talk with her.

5. Start weekly outdoor get-togethers with your neighbors, as an
excuse to be a little louder than normal. It’s innocent enough and
is she really going to come out after all of you? Sure she will.
Have a video camera handy and with the ensuing screaming that she’ll
make take the evidence down to the courthouse and file a complaint
and a restraining order against her.

6. Don’t change how you are living your life, don’t let her win.
Stand up to her and help her to understand that just because she has
to kill chickens in the middle of the night to have a job it isn’t
your problem and if she needs peace and quiet, to move somewhere
else.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi
Revenge Guy,
I became friends with a neighborhood kid down the street. I would
give him work and help him and his mother when they requested it.
When the boy came over he would bring his small dog because the dog
would like the company with my dogs. Well when the mother would ask
to borrow money or ask for help I would help out though it got to be
I would have to bug her to get my money back. She would expect and
give nothing in return not even appreciation.

They decided to move to another state
and asked if I would take their dog for a couple weeks until they
could send the money to have the dog sent up there. I accepted.
Weeks, months went by and no money. We would talk on the phone and
they wanted me to send the dog up and they would pay me back.

Well, knowing from experience I told
them to send the money first. In the meantime the dog ran out and
got hit by a car. I rushed took her to a animal emergency to try and
safe her life. To save the dog cost almost $4000 in vet bills. She
is a healthy dog now. That was my decision to save the dog and she
is a great dog. When I told my x-neighbor what happened they acted
like they did not want the dog anymore and would not want to even
communicate with me like I am no longer a friend.

Well, I knew it was my decision to
spend the money and save the dog but no gratitude at all. I love the
dog and I am glad I saved her but if they would have sent the money
from the start like was promised and agreed on, none of this would
have happened. They have been taking advantage of my giving from the
start. They probably got another pet by now.

I want to get revenge but I don’t know
how since they are about 1000 miles away. I am upset because all
I’ve done was to help them and when I just need some moral support
they have nothing to do with me. I want to get them revenge.
Thanks, DJ

Hi
DJ,It sure sucks to be taken advantage like that.

I really hate people that feel it’s your obligation to help them
out, then they aren’t even grateful for the help!

Revenge against people like this sure is sweet.

Here’s what I suggest:
The dog that you now have has been discovered! Yes, this dog is
exactly what a casting agent decided her next commercial needs in
it. The pay is great too! $3,000.00 per commercial and a residual
every time the commercial is run on TV.
You’ve struck it rich! You’re sure to make big $$ from this dog. And
this is only the beginning! There could be more commercials. Movies.
The sky is the limit.

And this is the story I’d tell them the next time you hear from
them. And I’d be sure to tell them to not call anymore. Don’t put
this in writing. Over the phone only. No emails, nothing written
down.

I hope this helps!

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi,
great site.

HELP. I rent a small piece of land that I have built a small
motocross track. Of course I had problems with a neighbor. So he called
the cops several times on us but we were legal so the cops did nothing.

So he called the zoning board. Again we were legal. So he some how got a
hold of the insurance company that insures the land and they shut us
down.

Now after four long years of building a great track it is gone due
to one asshole.

I want to do something but I also know that I will be
the first suspect if something shady happens. PLEASE HELP!
Sincerely,
Pissed MXer

Hi
Pissed,
I don’t know why you want to do something shady, I’d think of annoying
first and foremost.

Get a copy of the insurance papers and read them, see what can and can’t
be done on the property.

Then I’d start renting the field out to rock bands to practice, RC
(Remote Control) plane clubs. Find out about what can be done and do it.
The more noise the better.

You could even place posters up telling of an upcoming event, only to be
cancelled because of your neighbor, that will get people stirred up
against him.

Have you told your story to the local newspapers yet? They love this
type of neighborhood feud story.

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi Revenge Guy,Well i made a foolish decision and signed a contract with a company and
handed them over $110.00 I did some research and found out legally if i go
back within 5 days i can cancel the contract and take back my money…
They
refused. the only option now is to get a lawyer and take them to court but
that’s only gonna cost me more. I wanna get dirty and show them they cant
f**k
over everyone without gettin f**ked back. They are located in an office
space
on the 9th floor of a building.

I have considered and probably will make
numerous calls to various pizza delivery stores with huge orders from
"there
place of business". next i have contemplated pushing fart bombs under the
door during there business hours, going to there place of business b4 they
open and leave a pile of horse manure and or Fish guts all over the carpet
and door in front of there office.

My last plan of attack was to spray
mace
also know as bear spray or pepper spray into there office during business
hours making breathing incredibly hard, tears to pore from there eyes, and
a burning sensation all over.

However i would like some other ideas to get
these people back. hope to hear from you soon.

Hey,

Why would you want to open yourself up to legal problems from them? If
they have ripped you off, they’ve ripped others off just as successfully.

I’d picket their office with a sign and handouts stating what the problem
is, how you got ripped off. Have someone call the local TV and radio news
stations, maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll be a slow news day and you make
the 6:00 news.

Spend a few hours getting the attention your plight deserves will be the
best revenge. Plus you just may get your money back!
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,In trying to find a tenant for a condo I just purchased,
I have placed numerous “For Rent” signs on the corner of my block,
between someone’s sidewalk and the street, completely out of the way.

The signs seem to disappear after a few days each time I put one up.

I’d
love to catch the “thieving bastard” or at least get even with the
person….any ideas?
Thanks,
D

Hi
D,
Go to your local hardware store and get the slowest slow-drying paint or
glue you can get. They have stuff that can take days to dry.

When you put up your next sign, cover the back with it.
That’ll teach the thieving bastards a lesson!

Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Hi RG,I live in a basement apartment and have a real problem with the guy that
lives upstairs.

He’s an artist and a real a@@hole. He works at night at
home, starting around 11pm. He always has friends coming over for a
party when he paints. He says it helps him to be inspired. I know it’s
just so he can party and smoke pot with his friends.

The noise keeps me
up and since I have a regular day job, it’s really hard on me.

The owner
of the house won’t do anything. He talks to the guy, says it won’t
happen again, but the noise and parties always start again. I can’t
afford to move out and need advice on what I can do to get revenge. I’m
a 5’4" girl, so beating him up isn’t going to work.

Any suggestions?Susan

Hi Susan,Fighting fire with fire isn’t going to work here. Since you have a job
and he’s a stay at home bum, he really has the upper hand.

But of
course, he does have to sleep sometime. This is what I suggest: get
yourself the loudest alarm clock you can get. Something with a constant
buzzer and set it for an hour after you leave for work.

It’s likely that
he sleeps while you’re at work, and ‘forgetting’ to reset your alarm a
few times will start to send him a message. Another favorite of mine is
to pay attention to when he showers.

Then, every once in a while, run
your hot water about an hour before his usual shower time. Drain all the
hot water. Let him experience a few cold showers.

If he complains to
you, and he will, just apologize and forget about it. Start again in a
few days, just like he does. You might also want to start cooking smelly
things. Fish is good. There’s nothing like the rising odor of a good
fish meal to really fill the air.

Your goal here is everyday living that
becomes aggravating to him. Nothing too obvious. With luck, he’ll get
the message, clean up his act or just move out.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear Revenge Guy,I live alone in a nice house, in a nice part of town. But my neighbor
takes advantage of the fact that I only put out one can of garbage a week
and he has more that the city will allow him to put out.

He’s always
sneaking some of his garbage out beside mine so the garbage men will take
it.

Sometimes his bags break when they come to pick it up and I end up
cleaning up the mess when I come home from work. What can I do to get
even with him without causing a lot of trouble in my neighborhood?Trashed On in Heartvale

Hi Trashed On,Some people just feel it’s their right to take advantage of the property
of others and this is exactly what this guy is doing. It would be easy to
say "Report him" to the local bylaw office or city hall, but I
don’t believe that you really want to get him in serious trouble, I think
you just want him to keep his trash to himself.

I’ll also bet that you
leave for work near the same time when he does, so you’ve seen him do it,
so just returning his garbage to his front yard probably isn’t an option
you’d like to take (avoid the confrontation).

So, this is what I suggest
you do: Dig out your old tax bill and scan it into your computer (you have
a scanner, don’t you?), then with the OCR program and a little trial and
error, you can fake a bill or official looking letter for extra taxes due
to the amount of garbage you are putting out each week.

Then with
official-looking bill/letter in hand, pay a visit to your neighbor and ask
him if he’s noticed anything going on. This will get the message across
that he’s doing something that is going to cost you and it should, I hope,
guilt him into either confessing, or at the least, stopping his behavior.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy

Dear
Revenge Guy,
Here is my problem: I have a basketball hoop in front of my house
and my kids play ball in the street.

Good kids, no problems, stay out of
trouble but my asshole neighbor doesn’t like it so he parks his car
in front of the hoop so they can’t play. He has called the police,
wrote letters to the village board and both have said no law is
being broken and we’re doing nothing wrong so now he parks on our
side of street under the hoop so the kids can’t play. The kids don’t
play all the time and are not allowed after dark. He is just being a
ass. Also he won’t do it when I’m home only when I’m at work. He is
not elderly, probably 40-45 yrs old.

Please give me a great idea so I can
get him not to park there or something I can get him with.
Thank you, Hoops

Hi
Hoops,
Put up a sign near the hoop, "Please, no rock throwing at the
hoops!"

Hopefully he’ll get the idea that his car is in danger.

If that didn’t work I would buy a second basketball hoop.
Place them 30 feet apart.
Let the kids go wild.

Get some street chalk and draw out a basketball court. Make sure one
of the ‘out of bounds’ lines borders on his property lines. Clearly
write "Out Of Bounds" on your side of the line with arrows pointing
towards his side of the street.
Best wishes,
The Revenge Guy