Sex Calories

How much weight do we lose during sex? Diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.

Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual.

THINGS OFTEN SAID AFTER SEX “I am so grateful”: 15; “It must have been something we ate”: 15; “Was it good for you?”: 15; “Are you finished?”: 15

TRYING AGAIN If woman is ready: 5; If man is not: 563

ROLLING OVER AND GOING TO SLEEP After sex: 18; During sex: 546; While parking car: 212

SLEEP Real: 5; Faked (a good way to avoid sex-craved partner): 74

TAKING A BATH TOGETHER In a bath: 5; In a sink: 150; In a jacuzzi: 15,269

MAKING THE BED With partner still in it: 44 (indicates either a neatness obsession, a severe optic disorder, or a partner who is very tired). With you still in it: 97 (suggests extreme withdrawal and profound dissatisfaction)

KEEPING A JOURNAL Maintaining your own record of sexual activity will be helpful for keeping track of weight loss. You needn’t go into detail, just list the activity and the number of calories burned. A typical entry in a woman’s journal (for example) for a pleasant low-key sexual experience might read as follows: