12 December 2014

These days, I rarely talk about my gender identity or
transition.After all, my goal in
transitioning was to live as a woman, and for my gender identity to be a
non-issue.

But last week, a young woman in one of my classes
mentioned a male-to-female relative who lost her job and was, in essence,
hounded out of her profession, of which she was a part for many years.She had to go into another and start at the
bottom, along with recent graduates.

“As terrible as that story is, she’s lucky,” I
responded.“At least she was able to go
into something else.Other people in her
situation end up with minimum-wage jobs, or no jobs at all.Or they end up doing illegal things to
support themselves.”

By that time, the whole class was rapt.For at least some of the students, it was the
first time they heard anyone talk as I, or the student with the trans relative,
did.Some of them think I’m pretty
smart, if I do say so myself.But I
think they were surprised to hear someone talk as if she knew about such things
viscerally—I could tell they sensed it—rather than merely learned about them in
a theoretical or even vicarious way.

Perhaps they could see I was on the verge of
tears.Actually, at that moment, it
would have been easier to talk than to hold back the flow.So I took the easy way out.“Her story is mine,” I intoned.“It’s one of the reasons why I’m here,
standing in front of you now.”

There wasn’t even a moment of silence. “Thank God!”
another student shot back.“I’m glad
you’re here,” another said.“Whoever got
rid of you, whoever got rid of you, it’s their loss,” another pronounced.

Before that day, I enjoyed teaching that class:Those students seemed to have a good rapport
and chemistry with each other, and with me.And I feel present for them in a way that I never realized I could be
for any students.

I don’t know whether this means my experience will play
a greater role, or at least a more direct, role in my teaching and other
work.Could it mean that I’ll end up as
a gender educator, a role I’ve been resisting?Or could it mean that I’ll do other kinds of writing from what I’ve been
doing or—Dare I say this?—that I’ll have another role in education or in my
church?

I’m not even sure that this story is instructive in any
way.But at least I feel good about the
way it’s unfolding, so far.

Here I Am!

Welcome to Transwoman Times

One year before that, I began Transwoman Times to recount the medical, emotional, spiritual and other events of the year of my life leading up to my surgery.

The moment I was well enough to boot up my laptop, I decided to continue this blog. For the moment, I plan to describe my experiences during my "first" year of my "new" life. And, perhaps, I will continue this blog beyond that.

Most of what you read in Transwoman Times will be written by me. If I haven't written it, it will have come from a song, poem, or any other piece of writing ranging from a classic novel to a tabloid article. These references will be duly acknowledged: I might borrow, but I don't steal (or beg).

Although I started Transwoman Times for selfish reasons (i.e., I enjoy writing and I want an outlet for my feelings and a record of my experience.) , I hope you find this interesting, inspirational or of some other value. Maybe it will apall or simply bore you. In any case, please keep on reading and pass this along to friends, co-workers, in-laws and whomever else you want to read this. And, if you want to link this to your website, please feel free to do so, and just let me know. (Hey, I might be interested in your website!)So, I hope this enlightens, entertains or moves you in some other way. If nothing else, you are reading about someone who is engaged by the process of her life. I hope you are, too!