Thursday, 13 November 2008

THINGS BEGINNING WITH S . . . AND SOME OTHER RANDOM-NEST STUFF . . .

So I decided to take part in a little game, courtesy of Strict Shenanigist (well, she got it from someone else, but . . . you know!). So I have to list 10 things that I love with the letter of her choice. And she gave me . . . (drum roll please!) . . . S!!!

Hmmm. So in no particular order . . .

1) Spaghetti carbonara. Yum. Love the stuff. (Only problem is that restaurant-made is always better and it's such a bugger to eat in public!)2) Sitcoms. I always like something that makes me laugh. I'll even take it further and name sitcoms that I LOVE with the letter S. "Spaced", "Seinfeld" and "Scrubs"! That was impressive, right? (Any chance I can put a silent S in front of "Friends"??? No???)3) Snogging. (It's been a while.)4) Sex. (You must have known that one was coming. Although, once again, it's been a while...)5) Sneezing (isn't it like 1/8 of an orgasm or something like that? No wonder I get embarrassed doing it in public . . . )6)Scented candles (is that cheating? I don't care!)7)Spears. As in "Britney, bitch!8)Shampoo. It's nice to get your hair squeaky clean.9)Sillyness. (Is that a word? If it's not, I'm sure you still know what I mean!)10)Shoes. (Well, duh.)

If you want to take part, why not stop by Strict Shenanigist and ask her for a letter - if she has any left, that is?

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My friend from Ireland is coming over for the weekend and I am soooo excited about it. I haven't saw her in over 2 years now and we only really keep contact via email so it will be nice to catch up in person. And, man, do we have loads to catch up on!!!

She obviously has other people to hang out with other than moi, of course (as fabulous as I am, I can't keep her to myself, lol!) but this just means I can spend the rest of the weekend chilling. And believe me, this has just been a week I have wanted to get over with from start to finish.

My anger of last week has turned to general depression now. I'm not sure why. As ever I can't pinpoint any specific reason, there's just loads of stuff. My job has been getting me down, on and off. My life outside of work is okay, don't get me wrong, but I have a lot of personal stuff going on in my head, and it's all messed up and I find it hard to even straighten it out inside. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be happy - like PROPERLY happy. I can have moments when I am almost deliriously happy (like ten minutes ago when I realised my UGG boots had finally arrived and I wouldn't have to suffer from the curse of cold feet EVER AGAIN!!!) and then next thing I feel like shit again. I sometimes wonder if I'm going to just always revert to a default mode of misery. Ironically, the one person (in the real world, I mean!) I think might understand where I'm coming from, that might REALLY "get" it, is someone I no longer feel like I can confide in.

And what am I supposed to do when I hear that someone who I already know dislikes me (not that I can strictly blame them but I can't apologise anymore than I already did - and frankly, the longer it goes on, the more I wish I hadn't bothered!) has been now making a dig at me in a PROFESSIONAL capacity??? I seriously don't think that's on. I don't want to get all biblical on anyone's ass but he who casts the first stone and all that. Sometimes I wish I could just be left alone to just get on with things. I feel like all I've done all week is help out people, but got no thanks for it. I don't think that's helping MY state of mind.

I just hope things take a turn for the better soon because right now everything is just stressing me out. Hopefully the weekend will help me wind down a little and de-stress a lot. Fingers crossed . . .

Sorry that you are feeling down, I know the feeling. I promise you that this too shall pass, but in time being maybe you need some time having a good cry and self pitty weekend.Plan to have night with candles wine and sappy music.its what I do. Im here if anything hon.

I have this horrible thing with Anger. Apparently its unresolved anger, or so my $125 an hour therapist tells me, and I think she's right... anyway,

Something that's worked for me is allowing myself to be angry for as long as I need to be. What ends up happening, at least with me, is that when I feel angry, I get angry that I'm angry, so then its a pit of anger. Angry at being angry...seems silly, but its what happens to a lot of us.

Anger is what happens when we don't get what we want. I've also been trying to think "OK, what am I not getting that I want right now?"