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Tamara Dawkins cannot move on with her life until she finds out who is responsible for her son's death.

She can't sleep. She barely eats. Her mind is clouded with anger, grief and an unyielding desire to "find justice for Torrance."

"Torrance is my child and nobody can be an advocate for him like I can," she said. "I will continue to fight for him because we need closure."

Torrance Jermaine Dawkins, who grew up in Naugatuck and Waterbury, was shot and killed while celebrating his 22nd birthday outside a nightclub on East Street in New Haven on Aug. 11, 2013. The New Haven Police Department immediately opened a homicide investigation that is ongoing. But so far, their efforts have yielded no results.

Frustrated with the police response, Tamara Dawkins, who lives in Naugatuck, has launched her own investigation. She has spoken to people who were with her son when he was shot. She has learned that a brief argument broke out between her son and another group of people at the club, known then as the Cheetah Club. She knows someone quickly took out a gun and pulled the trigger. But she doesn't know who, and she doesn't know why.

Dawkins says she has passed along every bit of information she has to police, including names, but hasn't heard much in response. Now, she believes the only way she will get answers is to save money for a private investigator, continue searching for her own answers and tell her son's story in hopes of yielding some answers.

SHE DESCRIBES her son as a kindhearted young man would do anything to help someone, especially his family and friends. She says he was a good athlete who excelled in basketball as a teenager. He was smart, she says, but didn't always apply himself in the classroom.

Dawkins is also honest about her son's troubles. She acknowledges that he was involved in a gang as a teen and was imprisoned for carrying a firearm without a permit and reckless endangerment. He had other criminal convictions on his record, including sale of narcotics within a school zone.

"He wasn't perfect, but who is?" she said, adding that she believes her son's criminal history is one reason why police are not investigating as thoroughly as they could. "He was working toward getting his GED while he was in prison, and once he got out he was getting on the right track."

Torrance was also about to be a father; a baby girl he fathered was born one month ago. Tamara Dawkins believes that if anything could have inspired her son to stay on the right track, it would be a child.

Tamara Dawkins regrets not listening to her gut when Torrance went to New Haven to attend a hip-hop show with friends on that fateful night. Something told her not to let him go, she said, but she didn't want to hold him back from having a good time.

"For many past years, every single instance of gunfire, persons shot or homicides at or near clubs have been directly related to hip-hop parties," he said. "The venues themselves are rarely the issue."

HARTMAN SAID the department continues to investigate Dawkins's murder and has some leads. But no arrest has been made.

In response to Tamara Dawkins's claim that the department isn't investigating thoroughly, Hartman said simply, "She is wrong."

Dawkins says she has spoken directly with New Haven Mayor Toni N. Harp's office about her son's death in an attempt to get answers and to let officials know she isn't going away.

Harp's office said last week that improving public safety, particularly at nightclubs where many shootings have occurred, is a top priority for the mayor.

The city's delegation to the state's General Assembly, in collaboration with Harp's office, has initiated legislation that would create a policing district for any area that contains a high concentration of permitted liquor establishments; the cost of necessary additional police services would be passed on to the businesses serving liquor and attracting large crowds.

A second pending law would create a state licensing program for nightclub promoters, or enable municipalities to license them, and allow for the fining of nightclub owners who use unlicensed promoters.

Dawkins believes those are steps in the right direction. But it's not enough, she said. It won't be until her son's killer is behind bars.

"I don't care what my son's background was," she said. "He was a human being, and his life had value. Whoever did this did something that was unjustifiable, and they need to be held accountable."

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