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Are you happy? Does he/she fill your heart with so much happiness that no one else matters? Really? That’s nice, I’m happy for you, we’re all happy for you. We see you smiling, that little grin on your face, awwwww. Now, let’s come back to reality. Are you really happy in your current relationship? Or are you so eager to get over your ex that you FORCE your new relationship? You want it to work but what you really want is to get over your ex, make them mad in the process or prove to them you’ve moved on in hopes of them running back to you. Many play the game, few understand it but no one wins.

We put so much into a previous relationship that our next one has to be the jackpot, it has to last and we have to be happy. If you can’t sit down and think of three things that make your current better than your previous perhaps you’re forcing that situation. Some people, through delusion, will truly be happy with a person but knows it isn’t who they want to be with.

It’s usually obvious to spot a forced relationship or to tell who and what relationships aren’t genuine. The idea of being lonely makes people very desperate, although the person they pick isn’t a bad catch; it just isn’t the person they truly wish they caught. Love is a beautiful thing, being in love with someone you truly want is even better.

Every relationships is different & every situation requires different answers. Make sure you take the right test & give the right answers.

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Why can’t any of us ever break up? Sure we love the process of love but if that purpose to stay together is gone, shouldn’t we be gone?

Being in a relationship is hard. We pretend outside forces don’t affect our decisions but the very thought of our decisions are based on what other people think & say. We’ll never meet anyone worth being called perfect but we will meet our definition of what we think that is. As we build our relationships, getting to know one another, gaining trust & creating memories that fear of failure always lingers. Time goes by, we fall in love, out of love, break up, make up & hate love. But do we really hate love? Or do we hate the thought of someone else hitting the jackpot we worked so hard to win?

We work to perfect our relationship with a person & when it goes wrong it’s a feeling of failure. The ‘jackpot’ of happiness with that person is now waiting for someone else. We put all this time into this person, loving them so hard that it’ll be easy for the next person to score off my time spent. Just like at a Las Vegas casino slot machine, you pour all these quarters into a machine only to walk away to have the next lucky person try & hit.

To see someone you once loved happy with someone else is difficult. What does he/she have that I didn’t? Most often its nothing, your ex was so hurt at the failure you two had that the next person who stepped up, half decent, seemed heaven sent, now this may or may not always be the case but happiness is only what you make it. If you’re hurt by a previous lover you can easily fall for the next by that feeling & needing to move on.

When playing with love make sure you’re playing for the right things, all slot machines give out different amounts, pouring your quarters into that one may not be worth the jackpot you think you’re getting.

To Be Continued.

By K.E.L.L.s

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Being Lonely Has NOTHING To Do With Being Alone Or Being Single. Being Lonely Is A State Of Mind. Being In A Relationship Will Never Fulfill, You Have To Be Happy With Yourself BEfore You Can Be Happy Doing Anything Else. Females Usually Commit Lonely Suicide & Have Plenty Warning Signs That A lonely Life Awaits Them…Here Are 10 Signs Not In Any Order, If You Find Yourself Doing More Than One Of These Things Check Yaself & Rethink What You’re Doing.

1. Beware Of Celebrity Crushes

Ladies Often Tweet, Joke, Etc. Regarding The Subject Matter Of Their Celebrity “Boo.” Unknowingly To Many Females (& Vice Versa) Men (& Most Women) Do Not Care To Hear This. Celebs Are “Regular” People, Being On TV Is The Difference From Them Not Being “Normal.”

Be Careful, When You Promote Your Love For A Celeb To Some Men What Your Basically Saying Is “I’m With You Cuz I Can’t Have Him.” Yes Really.

Many Women Will Say, “Oh Please That Ain’t True” But Ask Yaself This, If It Ain’t True Why Say It? Suppose Your Walking Down The Block With Your Real Life Boo & Your Celeb Boo Walks Up, Says Come With Me? Will You Go? Most Probably Will, Some Won’t, But Actually How Is Your Real Boo Supposed To Feel? You’re Telling Him Your Attracted To Another Male & He Shouldn’t Feel A Way? Why? Because That Man Is On “TV”?

2. “…Oh I Don’t Do That”

Women Often Are Single NOT By Choice, Like Most Proclaim, But By Force. Having A Longer List Of Things They Won’t Do Rather Than What They’ll Try Many Have Already Given Themselves The Long Kiss Of Loneliness. Men Are Not Mind Readers & Our Assumptions Are Mostly Always Wrong. Rather Than Leaving Us In The Dark By Not Speaking Up Throw Us A Bone & Not A Hint.

Women Have All This “I Do’s & I Dont’s” Not Realizing That This Is What’s Making Them Miserable. Men Have A Short Attention Span For What We Consider Unnecessary & Would Rather Be Alone, Lonely & Miserable Than Deal With What You Won’t Do.

3. You Do NOT Think Like A Man

The First Step To Realizing A Problem Is Admitting You Have One. Ladies Cannot & Will Not Ever Be Able To Think Like A Man. Women Are Emotional, Men Are Logically (Most Times) & Trying To Think Logically With An Emotional Thought Process Will Forever Leave You Baffled. Rather Than Try To Think Like A Man How Bout You Attempt To Understand Him?

Women Give The Thought Process Of A Man FAR Too Much Credit. In A Woman’s Eye A Man Has This GRAND Scheme Of A Lie Or How He Will Get Over Only To Later Realize Most Men Cannot Think That Far Ahead To Put These Scheme’s Together. (See Warning Sign Number 6)

4. Time Spent

To Have A Healthy Relationship You Need Time Together, As Well As, Time Apart. Spending Every Moment Together Is Unhealthy, Not Spending Enough Time Is Unreal.

We Must Respect Each Other’s Time Or Nothing Will Ever Work. Women Don’t Want Men Who Aren’t Doing Anything With Themselves Yet Many Cannot Deal With Those Who Are. Sacrifice Is A Real Word. In Order For The Future To Be Care Free Your Boo Must Go Hard Now. Rather Than Nag Him About That “Quality Time” Encourage Him To Be Productive & Constructive.

Weirdly Nagging Him About Free Time Seems To Mean That You Don’t Want Him Around For Long, If Not, Wouldn’t You Want Him To Go Out & Get It To Secure Your Future As A Couple? To Nag About The Present Would Mean “Fool You Ain’t Goin’ Last That Long Let’s Have Fun NOW”

Infamous Quotes Such As “If You Really Love Someone You’ll Make Time” Is FALSE. Men Want To Spend All The Time In The World Normally Laid Up Or Hanging Out But Sadly It’s Unreal.

5. Be A Mystery NOT Mixxy

A Female Should Be Like A Ancient Myth Or Urban Legend.“Sometime Seen On The Scene But Never Guaranteed To Be There.”

Nobody Should Be Able To Determine Your Going To Be Somewhere. A Dude Is Usually On The Scene For Two Reasons, Making S*it Happen Or Watching Sh*t Happen.

Ain’t Nothing Worst Than A Female That’s Always On The Scene With No Purpose, A Man However Will Always Be A lot Of Places With No Purpose, It’s Possibly A Double Standard We’re Just Going To Have To Accept.

6. Be A Non-Over Thinker

The Most Common Mistake By All Women (& Most Men) Is Over Thought. The Minute You Over Think Yourself Is The Exact Moment You’ve Lost.

“You Must Think I’m Stupid” Is Possibly The Most Contradiction Of A Statement Ever Uttered By A Female. If You Assume Your Man Is Lying & You Hit Him With The “U Must Think I’m Stupid…” Yet He Doesn’t Confess To What You Think Is A Lie Which Might Be The Truth & You Stay With Him Doesn’t That Make You Stupid?

Women Will Forever Out Think, Out Logic & Ultimately Stress Out They Own Damn Self With Unrealistic Ways The Man Is Lying.

7. Build With Builders & Stop Looking For Buildings

Music & Movies Are The Strongest Shaper Of What We Believe We Want & Need. Females Hear These Glamour Lyrics Of Being With A Boss Never Understanding What A Real Boss Is Or Does. A Drug Dealer Is Not A Boss, A Rapper Is Not A Boss, A Ball Player Who Is Good Is Definitely Not A Boss Yet We Substitute Being A Boss With Having Money, Or The Illusion Of It.

Most Females Cannot & Will Not Ever Meet A Real Boss. Real Bosses Probably Wouldn’t Put Up With 95% Of The Antics Most Women Pull. He Def Is Not Built For the Drama Life Some Possess. To Be With A “Boss” It Takes Understanding, Sacrifice (See Warning Number 4) A Strong Will Of Knowing He Loves You & Support.

Women Wanna Meet Dudes Who Already Possess Everything They Believe They Need In A Man. Years Ago The Leaders & Strong Minded Men Started Out With NOTHING & Built It Ground Up. You Think MLK Would Have Had A Dream If He Ain’t Have A Good Joint In His Corner? You Think Denzel Would Be As Dope As An Actor As He Is Had His Joint Nagged Him About His Crappy Pay In The Beginning Of His Career? Would Bob Johnson Be Where He Is If His Joint By-Passed Him & Went To Mess With A Dude Who Was Already Getting It?

Before You Leave Your “Ain’t Shit” Man Think About Him In 10 Years. Will He Still Be That Way? Or Would The Help From You & What You Two Will Build Be Strong Enough For Him To Turn It All Around?

8. Your Love Life Is NOT A Song

Every So Often A Song Drops Proclaiming The Love One Has For Another. R&B Singers Become Breathless, Sleepless & Seem To Possess Super Human Powers By Moving The Stars, Clouds & Mountains To Get To Their Lover

The Problem With These Songs Of Impossible Feats Is Some Women Compare Them To Their Life Forgetting & Ignoring It’s Entertainment Or The Other 12 Songs On The Album Based On “Oh Baby I’m Sorry” Songs. There Are Actually Women Who Strangely Believe These Songs & Not The Entertainment Aspect Of It. Singers Usually Have HORRIBLE Love Lives So Comparing Yours To Theirs Seems Beyond Pointless. No Man Is Going To Move The Stars & Heaven To Get To You. Do Not Side Eye Him Believing Cause He Doesn’t Say These Type Of Things He Doesn’t Love You.

9. Every Man DOES Not Want You

The Art Of Chivalry & Giving Compliments Have Been Back Seated By The Thirst Of Others Males & The Actually Thought That If A Man Gives You A Head Nod He Is MADLY In Love With You. Flirting Is A Weird Way To Feel Good About Yourself, It Actually Has Nothing To Do With The Other Person But Rather A Self Assurance Way To See If We’re On Point.

Women Who Believe Everyman Wants Them Will Never Ever Find A Man Who Really Does. They Date & Involve Themselves With Men For All The Wrong Reasons That Sound Like The Right Ones. A ‘Thirsty’ Man Will Throw A Compliment As Bait, If You Decide To Bite He Will Reel You In, Not Necessarily Wanting You But You Wanted Him So “Ahh Fuck It” He’s There.

Thirsty Men Love Women Who Think Everyman Wants Them. He Will Copy & Paste Beautiful Messages In Hopes Someone Takes It. Be Wary & Understand There Are Plenty Of Kind-Hearted Men Who Love To Compliment Women, But He Does Not Want You.

10. Chivalry Isn’t Dead It Just Isn’t Appreciated Anymore.

The Minute A Guy Offers A Simple Gesture Of Chivalry He’s Considered Lame Or Corny. Most Will Never Agree But The Art Of Chivalry Does Exist, It’s Alive & Well But It Hidden Like A Secret Society. Every Female Does Not Deserve Chivalry. Every Female Should Not Get A Chivalrous Act & Most Will Never Appreciate It.

What Most Women REALLY Want Is “Convenient” Chivalry, Only When It Works In Their Favor Is It Ever Noticed Or Appreciated. If A Man Opens The Door, Pulls Your Seat Out, Says Yes Ma’am To Waitress and/or Walks You To Your Door At The End Of The Night “SOME” Would Consider It Lame and/or Overkill. That Same Woman May LOVE The Fact That He Pays For Everything, Thus, She Wants It Conveniently.

Women Have Grown So Used To The Thirst (See Warning Sign Number 9) That Everything A Man Does Seems Like A Scheme. (See Warning Sign Number 6)

Men Can No Longer Do Acts Of Chivalry Without It Seeming Or Have The Woman Assume It’s Not Genuine. Chivalry Exist, It May Have Taken On Different Forms & Meaning But It Is Still Around.

_________________

Understand Being Lonely Is REAL. The One’s Who Proclaim They Self Alliance To Them Selves With NO Need For A Man Are The Most Confident Loneliest Women Around. We All Want Love & Us Men May Not Need WOmen & Ya May Not Need Us But We’re Stuck With Each Other So STFU & Deal With It.

By K.E.L.L.s

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Ever been in a “relationship” and had sex with a friend in your head? Are you in an imaginary relationship with your opposite sex friend without them even aware you have feelings towards them? Does the thought of them with another upset you, yet your introduced as a bro/sis? If so you might be stuck in “The Friend Zone.”

Men and women view friendships extremely different. Most men stuck in the zone start a friendship ‘really’ wanting to sleep with you. Women, however, start off many friendships genuinely not wanting the guy but develop feelings over time because “he’s always been there.”

In the friend zone men want you from the start; women usually want you once you stop wanting them.

Opposite sex friendships can be mutual and they do exist. There are several friendships we have with the opposite sex that are genuine and despite how many people find them appealing we just can’t view them that way. The simple thought of them being naked is disgusting. It’s weird to even hear about them being sexy to another person.

But can the friend zone be escaped? Possibly, but over time your feelings either develop for that person, wanting them more and they become such apart of you that it may seem you’re actually with them or you’re around them so much that you settle for whatever title you can get.

Some men are just so lucky to be around they’ll accept the friend zone not necessarily wanting to be there but it puts them around you so they’ll be cool with it. Women will accept it to a degree but once their feelings are involved and she wants you she will fall back and not settle.

The friend zone has its benefits because some relationships are just better as friendships.

A diva is not the female definition of a hustler. Somehow pop culture has melted into our brain, influenced who we are, how we speak and think. Beyonce is not a hustler nor is she built for the grind. Songs are made to be catchy but females most often get the game mixed up, fucked up and messed up. No matter how hard I recite the lyrics or mirror his lifestyle I am not Jay-z, I can never be Kanye or any other innovating artist. I could never be him & he can never be me. You are not Beyonce, if he likes it he will not put a ring on it, you do not love or like his ego because soon as it’s displayed you hate him.

Beyonce lives a completely different life from you and me. Whether we choose to agree or not money & the comfort of a future makes loving anyone easier, the number one cause of marital arguments are finances (Not An Opinion But A Fact.) Do not believe Beyonce Knowles & Sean Carter would be “crazy in love” if they were regular folk, happiness with love will always be there but the spotlight of their success just happens to work for them. Stop comparing you & your boo who work as a security guard to Jay & Bey, that is not our life, you will not be spiked out at the garden, TMZ is not in your driveway & you two are not approving million dollar deals from the iPhone.

Pop culture & the hopes of another anthem dropping holds a strong influence on our relationships with the opposite sex, we can choose to agree to disagree, but we all know people who are easily influenced by pop figures. How can pop culture influence how we go about being in love? Females, as well as, males, are sometimes influenced by what’s hot & who’s saying it.

Keep believing what Bey and them be saying and you goin’ be saying it to no one. Stop Comparing Your Love To Their Love. It Will Not Work.

By K.E.L.L.s

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I wanna be in Love; I want it so bad that it makes me jealous to see other people in love. I don’t understand why can’t it happen to me? Do I really have that many flaws? Why can’t my lover see all the great things the rest of the world seems to see? Questions, concerns & a doubt of self is what motivate us to search for love. We all set our life up to what we want & need but what do we truly need? To understand love shouldn’t we understand ourself? Surprisingly many of us do not understand our self, we pretend that it’s everyone else when in fact it may be you. If 3 relationships end the same, or in a similar way, at what point does everyone else stop being the problem & the problem just becoming you?

We create false reasoning & excuses to why it didn’t work with the person to justify our own actions. We all have our attributes we would want in a mate, but when is it alright to alter those things? It’s alright to make exceptions for exceptional people. Many of us leave one bad relationship to a good one & can’t handle it. We become so use to things being wrong that nothing can be right, we doom our own search for love by sabotages romantic motives.

What do you look for in a lover? Is it money? Success? Educated? Whatever it is what are you willing to give up or let go to get him/her? If you want a goal orientated, educated, successful person but was once married, now divorced, would you take that? We have to pick & choose what we’re willing to be loose with.

You are never going to find someone with everything you want. NEVER. So love who your with, help them become who you want to love or find someone as close as to who you want to love but remember love has perfect imperfection, don’t let the imperfect flaws stop your search for your perfect love.

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BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” (The “I’m not BUSY I’m Working” Edition)

“She loves her work more than she loves me….”
-Jay-z “Lost Ones”

How do you spell love? The spelling of love has never started with a “L.” The word love actually has nothing to do with emotions. Love is & will always be spelled T-I-M-E. In order to hold healthy relationships we need that time together, as well as apart. Spending every moment together is unhealthy; not spending enough time at all is unreal! So what is the medium? We are in a bad economical state, so if a mate is on the grind to secure his/her future should we get mad? Shouldn’t the state of the country obligate you to encourage your lover to go out & get it rather than questioning their work ethics?

Time & love makes us question what we want in a mate. Females usually want time to constitute love while males rather understanding, both wanting support and/or encouragement to go out & get it. We are all motivated people only different by what & how much support we need to get motivated.

Once being in Love with him/her starts to feels like a job it is time to get out, talk about it or move on. Females see the present with the future in mind while males think about the future to make sense of the present, confused? Females are more concerned to build in the presence to secure a future, while males work hard towards the future so that hard work in the presence can be justified in the future. Depending on the couple this can be vice versa. Both males & females want the same end result just both respectively use different methods to get there. If we’re taking a trip does it matter what car and/or road we use to get there or just getting there?

There is a huge difference between working & being busy, don’t confuse the two! Working is most often an obligation, something you signed up for while being busy or keeping busy is a tool used for motivation for some. Being busy sometime simply means keeping your self occupied while working is something to secure your future and/or provide for the life you choose to lead! You can be “busy” working which means your trying to get a lot accomplished within that day of work.

Love could be so simple but yet we make it so hard. No one wants to grind/work all the time but we must push forward to secure our future. How many people do we all know that didn’t reach their full potential in life because of love or the facade of it? Held back by a lover & the obligation forced upon them to do this & that.

The two can & do co-exist. But what are any of us willing to let go for it to work?

“…Fell in love with a real heartbreaker & there is nothing I can do,to shake her”
-Dream “Right Side of your Brain”

The back & fourth effect, make up break up, hate, love, here, there we’re everything! The confusion of love is so complicated and we love someone so much that we lose our self; your love has such a hold on you that you wish they’d just break it off! They hold every key to your heart, your soul, your emotions & you’re very well being! What’s interesting about this stage of a troubled relationship is the person who ultimately controls the outcome never knows they control it. In order to love we must first be happy with our self & many of us aren’t.

Ever love someone so much it hurts? Feels as if their just pulling you along for either amusement? Convenience? Or maybe some love but not as strong as yours! The problem with love is that after all it is still an emotion so one person can technically love harder than the other. I know its hard to shallow that concept but love is not a two way street nor is it a one way, its a intersection, coming & going just like a busy street. Your Love for someone goes up & down, weak & strong.

The problems with love is do we ever fall out of love? It’s very easy to fool ourself that we can do without him/her only to be back but when does it end? Every look at him/her & knew it was over? Only to lay right down next to them the next day? Its extremely hard to admit that your not ready for love but when we aren’t we still force it. Not everyone is relationship ready or commitment built, so be real.

Rather than living for love let it be known what you’re really expecting. Love is not part time or is it full time; it’s a full blown CAREER.

By K.E.L.L.s

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It’s not a secret men & women are from two different planets, lack of communication and understanding for one another conclude to the same results time and time again. Ever feel like love & happiness (Thanks Al Green) just isn’t for you? Like maybe you were meant to be alone forever? We all know the people highest up got the lowest self esteem and most times those pretty & perfect people are the eternally single people. Bad egos and an unwillingness to change because they are among the pretty bunch.

Usually successful females are single; most men can’t handle a female with goals and ambition, so they must play the role of a forced lesbian, not really liking girls but just not fit or “over qualified” to deal with a guy. Men who are forever single are dudes who can not commit to just one, rather than love they search for lust, after a while that gets old, ALL females, shy, out-going, hoe, jump-off, whatever want to one day settle down, the only thing that keep some eternally alone is themselves.

“Logically more than Emotionally” settling down should be a life goal for all, and we all loss focus of that and leave our “80 for a 20,” leading females to believe that it was something wrong with the male when in fact in love we all need to change and compromise. Many men believe that hitting the “Bottom of the pussy hole” is what will keep a female when in fact it isn’t. No one is perfect and it’s only those “Perfect Imperfections” that make love worth the fight. Sometimes you must look in the mirror and ask “Should he really put a ring on it.” Love is hard and when the time is right its beautiful, when it isn’t we force ourselves to believe it is and get caught in a “Love Lockdown.”

I’m not loving you, way I wanted too, what I had to do, had to run from you…I’m in love with you! But the vibe is wrong”
-Love Lockdown “Kanye West”

Why do we continue with relationships that are headed in the wrong direction, we try to convince our self that it’s “just me” when in reality it’s just that bad ass relationship. Bad relationship mixed with heavy emotion and a feeling of this has to work are a beautiful mix of a horrible situation.

Love is hard and a continuing work in progress, but should it feel like work?

Both Males & Females may want a relationship to work but why does it feel like we’re continuing to work against each other rather than with each other? It’s ironic, we want so much but are willing to give back so little? If your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t react positively to how you are handling any given circumstance why continue to do it? The nagging, the jealously, the back and fourth, is it really that much to let that part of our self go that we doom our own relationship?

“I wanna move but can’t escape from you”
-Love Lockdown “Kanye West”

Most bad relationships do require some type of emotional connection, it may not be that we are bad people but some personalities do not go together. How obvious does it have to be? Some couples can’t even hold a civil convo without a blowup. What has to happen for us to move on?

We lose ourselves in bad relationships, we become forced to act out of character which leads us to perform random acts of clownishness. Is it possibly to stay yourself and continue in a relationship that forces us to change who we are? Bad relationships cause us to become another person who we are not. We lose our self in the distorted image of what that person wants us to be. Males & females both fall victim to this so what has to happen to not be the victim? Love can lock you down and have you believe that your a horrible person for feeling what your feeling but is it that? Or is it that the other person cannot handle hearing your feelings? What are we to do with & without love? YES. I know. confusing aint it!?!?