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When it comes to love and relationship some people are controlling the relationships so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. There are some romantic movies and novels that are telling us that real relationships are all about obsession and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives. Being manipulative or controlling the relationship aren’t real and true love. There are times that we thought having an abusive relationship is the only thing that matters but you don’t feel that being manipulative and controlling is a sign of unhealthy relationship.Most cases, it’s all about control and taking away your independence or freedom. Being controlled by your partner can damage to your self-esteem, make you fearful and having doubts about entering future relationships, and leave us emotional wounds that we shouldn’t have to deal with.

But there are plenty of relationships that are more one sided. A controlling man may be overprotective and to the point of unreasonable jealously or try keep a tight power with finances and be constantly telling his partner the right way to do things without ever really listening to their ideas. Early of the relationship both of you have the power or balance each others ideas. There are turning points that you won’t believe that your partner is already controlling you. How can you know that your partner is manipulative and controlling?

Disengage you from your family and friends – They don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore or they don’t want you to chit chat around with your family. They will try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to rely on for support. Their goal is to remove you off on your support network as well as your strength so that you will be less likely to stand up against them.

Makes you feel guilty all the time – They are very skilled when it comes to this part. Your partner will let you feel the guilt whenever or whatever you are going to do with or without them. Your partner makes negative comments about your friends until you start to believe that the criticisms are true. Your partner will be a snob every time you go out with your friends, until you start not to accept their dinner invitations just to stop yourself from stress.

Criticize you a lot of times – Some partners think it’s not such a big deal that he or she doesn’t like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn’t take it personally. They may consistently critique your decisions at work , the way you spend money , or your interests and hobbies in a way that sounds less like criticism.If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal person?

They don’t know the word TRUST – People who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. And a partner who doesn’t to acknowledge this isn’t being romantic at all. Your partner doesn’t have the right to check your email or messages, or have access to any of your social media passwords, just because they say they’re scared that you might cheat, or because they will say that people who are in love don’t have secrets. It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and this shouldn’t be present within your relationship.

Don’t want to hear your side – You are always interrupted in every conversations, or opinions you express have been forgotten or never been acknowledged in the first place. Perhaps the conversation is always so ruled over by your partner that you can’t remember the last time they asked you a meaningful question about how you were doing and actually listened to your answer.

Making you feel unworthy – They are making you feel less attractive than they are. Even they try comparing you to their exes and sometimes their accomplishments when it comes to work, controlling people often want you to feel thankful that you are in a relationship with them. You will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep and to satisfy them. This is the goal of someone who wants to dominate a relationship.

Not only me, it can be you but all of us can fall into a controlling relationship. Don’t feel stupid about it and don’t blame yourself for being with them. Controlling relationships sneak up on us, and we can’t see them for what they are until we’re with them and we know them truly. Always remember that if you are feeling that it’s wrong in the relationship you need to let it go and just be more positive with the next one.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

– Darlene Ouimet

” A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends. your dreams or dignity.”

I am in a relationship and I am PROUD of it. My boyfriend is a foreigner and he is English. It’s just that there people who will judge why do you like foreigners. I know that there are people that can relate to me but there are some that feels envious about the relationship. I do feel bad whenever I hear people murmuring or gazing at us (especially me ) whenever we pass by them. I’ve experienced that when he was here for a vacation ( his first visit ). I know that you can’t stop other people from criticizing the relationship.

Before I prefer to have a Filipino boyfriend because I know that there will be spark between us. After experiencing the heartbreaks I promise myself not to have another Filipino boyfriend. I don’t judge all of them but after the same reasons of having my heartbroken I think it’s enough. ( Enough… enough…!!!). Now, let’s start… I will share that there are disadvantages and advantages of having a foreigner boyfriend.

DISADVANTAGES AND ADVANTAGES:

Cultural differences this can be a disadvantage and an advantage because it’s good that you can learn a new culture and you will more expose to it but sometimes there are couples that are having a conflict because of adapting of each others cultures.Be more optimistic to it because you are learning another culture and I think it’s a cool thing to do ( especially food you will discover new taste and special kind of foods )

There is an instance that you can have miscommunication because of languages ( Language Barrier). There are times that learning another language and pronouncing the words properly is difficult. Learning each others language is fun and interesting because it can help you to communicate more to your partner’s relatives and friends.

Migrating to which country will stay ( if it’s her or his ). Who will migrate is you or your partner. There will be a lot of discussion to make and the decision making can be a headache. So the best thing is the both of you need to talk more about it and try to share their ideas about migrating.

This is the fear of all, being in Long Distance Relationship. Not being together. Miles and miles apart form each other. This can be hard. I know because I am in this situation but communication is the key. You need to communicate with each other just a simple or quick text to send to you partner is enough. Loyalty needs to be there,too. If you are in a relationship you are committed and it means it’s only your partner even you are two worlds apart.

There are times that other people will think that you have partner that is a foreigner because of money or visa. Discrimination of other people is always there and present at all times. I experienced it and there are times that it was difficult to handle and I can’t hide my feelings. I don’t share it to him but he knows that I was hurt whenever other people are murmuring or gazing at us.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” ― C. JoyBell C.

If it’s about Love everyone is excited to hear and it’s a hot topic to discuss. There is a song that inspired me to write this post. It’s like we found love and we are happy with the relationship but why there are times it’s difficult to keep it? Love is a beautiful thing, until it fades away. From the lyrics of the song :

” But there’s a danger in loving somebody to much,and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

Why love fades? What happen to the relationship that once like a fairy tale and so perfect?

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There are some people that are not realistic when it comes to relationship or love. They expect it like fairy tales and romantic movies. There are some cases that when reality bites they will feel bad and disappointed about their relationship. The colorful and bright changes to dark and gloomy. In this cases, we need to grow up and don’t expect too much.Feeling appreciated and special play an important role in the relationship. In the beginning of the relationship everything is much appreciated but what happen when time flies? That’s why there are some couple feel that the relationship is not all worth it.

Why is it loving too much can ruin the relationship? It’s because we’re being possessive with our partner and we don’t trust them. When are in love you have to weigh in everything. How many percent? For yourself? For your partner? We shouldn’t give it all. It’s risky but you need to ask yourself if everything is worth the risk.

They say that it’s better for the relationship when your partner is with you because the love will stay and won’t fade but I don’t believe in it. For me, there are some close distance that their love fades because of losing attraction to each other. There are times that we are too familiar with each other that’s why love fades. Familiarity can be the reason because we know our partner too much. Instead that we think of them as our partners it leads to friendship. The feeling is changing without any notice.

Arguments and misunderstandings like we all know is always there in the relationship but there are some relationship that I think they don’t know how to handle arguments and misunderstandings. Being honest about our feelings can sometimes too hard to say. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, it’s not a good sign at all. Some people give up so easily because of this reason but it’s better to talk about it.

If the one you love breaks your heart so badly that you feel bitter and unhappy and the trust that you had wasn’t there anymore we feel that we fall out of love for sure. Love and Trust are needed in the relationship it won’t be a real relationship if there’s absence. Forgiveness can be given but to the fact that they hurt you love fades.

Yes, love becomes boring and love does fade with time. Its law of nature. Everything fades. The roses that he gave you from the red petals to brown to black. The love letters that you keep the writings fade because you keep it for so long. Everything is gonna end. So is love.

So, if there’s a chance to stay together you need to find ways to keep your love alive. I know that you both know each other and how to hold on to the love and relationship that you have. Obstacles are the just tests for the both of you. If you give up easily it means that you don’t treasure each others love. Love ain’t enough and love fades but be strong and hold on.

Adultery and Cheating are always in the relationship whether you’re married or just in a relationship. The most common reason : Spouses or partners cheat because of problems in relationship. Something is missing, love has faded, partners feel lonely or sad, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more. They are not happy with their current relationship so they find someone else that can make them happy. Another reason : there are people who ignores the true meaning of cheating and they keep on asking the question : Why is it difficult to be faithful in a relationship?

There are research that about 60% of spouses ( wives or husbands ) cheats during their marriage. There are lots of questions why they can’t be loyal to their spouses but how can they make a decision to cheat? Decisions are not so easy to say you have to think twice and deep to fully have it. In a relationship, making promises to be loyal to their spouse or partner , most people are serious in doing it and have intention of keeping their promises. In making decisions about love and not being loyal, reasons have a difficult time competing in controlling our emotions. Sometimes our emotions are influence by our behavior and lead us down to the way that it wasn’t suppose to be.

There are Types of Cheating like : Physical Cheating, the act of being sexually intimate with someone other than your spouse or partner. It is the most common among men and women but it can be view differently. Men view as depriving by force and a form of physical rejection. For women, may be more likely to see beyond the physical misjudgement if they perceive that emotions were not involved.The cheater feels emotionally connected to his partner and may only be seeking to fulfill a sexual fantasy. Emotional Cheating, may begin as friendship. An emotional cheater finds himself intimately confessing in the person, sharing thoughts, dreams and there’s an emotional closeness that would normally be reserved for his friend. With emotional cheating, the cheater’s heart may no longer be in the relationship and the relationship was not progressing. Cyber Cheating , includes net pornography, online dating and flirting with other people on social networking sites. It is harder to catch than other forms of cheating. It requires the couple to have access to other’s computer passwords and to pay close attention to conversations each person is having on the Internet. Chexting ( Text Messaging Cheating ) , common to the high profile affairs of celebrities who were caught cheating via text messaging. According to Fox News, this is a new form of cheating because it supplies the physical proof of being unfaithful. It includes sending sexually explicit messages or pictures ,texting to arrange dates and meeting in person . Even simple messages, such as asking how someone is doing, can be considered chexting if the intention of the person sending the text is to hook up with the recipient.

Last year, the site Ashley Madison revealed about husbands that are cheating to their wives and a lot of people panic because it was hacked. Once you cheat you may allow yourself to become distracted from your partner, and from what’s real and what’s important. In a world of where we’re loaded of information, temptations and distractions are common. Lacking of communication with important things with your partner can driven you away from them.If one of you is a problem-focused rather than looking for solutions in the problem, you will feel worthless for a partner rather than compassion. This can lead someone to seek comfort from others.

NEXT TOPIC : Who Cheats most? Woman or Man?

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Cheating isn’t always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you have to delete text messages so your partner doesn’t see them, you’re already there.”

Every time I am watching romantic movies there’s always a scene that songs are playing. In the back of my mind, I wish I am the woman on that movie. There are a lot of songs that I dedicated to Nigel and it’s mostly love songs.He is not a fan of it but I appreciate he is trying to listen to it. If you love listening to music you have a lot things on your mind and you make each songs as your soundtracks.

I am thinking what will be the best soundtrack for me and Nigel. For us. For our relationship. I love listening to songs that are around 80’s and 90’s because the lyrics of the songs are more meaningful and sweet. I love to listen to Air Supply, The Carpenters and a lot more. The songs are catchy and you can really relate through it. I also love revival songs. Here in the Philippines there are lots of singers who revives songs from the past.The same songs but different styles of singing. Mostly ballad and mellow tracks. I wanted to include OPM ( Original Pilipino Music ) on my post. Here, I will mention Filipino singer/s who sing the revival or the original song.

The songs that I choose are the best for us. These are revival songs by my favorite Filipino singers. They did the revival few years ago but it’s still famous here in the Philippines. I think the songs really fit for the both of us. While reading my posts, you will know why I choose the songs in here. My relationship with him was unexpected and because we in a long distance relationship we miss each other every day even if we are having our Skype Dates. I will share the lyrics of the songs in here so you can check it out. Who knows you might download it.

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GLORY OF LOVE – DINGDONG AVANZADO AND JESSA ZARAGOZA

It was originally sang by Peter Cetera. A 1980’s hit and was written by him and David Foster. The genre is pop / soft rock. Year 2000’s ” New Found Glory ” did the revival. This song was included in Jessa Zaragoza’s album. I love to listen to this version because it’s like they give more meaning to the song especially they are couple so I can relate to it. They did some edit of the lyrics of the song and it’s great and that makes the difference of it.

WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS SONG?

The song reflects my relationship with Nigel. While listening to it I am picturing it out the scene in the movie with him. Rainy day in the park just having fun and enjoying the rain. Nigel is the only guy who that gives me mixed emotions, makes me so special and always telling me that I am his forever and my soul mate. He is my dream guy I know that for sure. No matter what happen he will fight for our love.

LYRICS:

Dingdong : Tonight it’s very clear, as we’re both lying here
There’s so many things, I want to say
I have always love you, I could never leave you alone

Jessa : Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don’t wanna lose you, I could never make it alone

Dingdong : I am a man, who will fight for your honorJessa : You’ll be the hero I’ve been dreaming ofBoth : We’ll live forever, knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Jessa : You keep me standing tall, you help me through it all
I’m always strong when you’re beside meDingdong : I have always needed you, I could never make it alone

Jessa : You are the man who will fight for my honorDingdong : I’ll be the hero you’ve been dreaming ofBoth : We’ll live forever, knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Dingdong : Like a knight in shining armor, from a long time ago
Just the time or seize the day,Jessa : take me to your castle far away

Jessa : You are the man Both: who will fight for my/your honor

I’ll be the hero that Jessa : I’ve been dreaming of ( You’ve been dreaming of )Both: We’ll live forever, knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Both: We’ll live forever, knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Both: We did it all for love, we did it all for love
We did it all for love, we did it all for love

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EVERYDAY – AGOT ISIDRO

I know that are wondering about this song and it’s not familiar. This is an original Filipino music. Agot Isidro is a Filipina recording artist, actress, host, and TV personality. This is a ballad song and this a 90’s hit here in the Philippines.

WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS SONG?

This is like a long distance relationship. Checking the song lyrics there is distance between the lovers in the song. I can relate to the song because I always miss him. Because of the distance I really want him to know that I may not be there but telling him how much he means to me is like my presence is there with him.

LYRICS:

Got a letter in the mail today
and im glad you’re doing fine
U tell me your missing me
and its cold in new york city
well me and the girls were alright
thinking about you night after night
and if you feel the same way too
just imagine me whispering to youchorus:
everyday ill always love you
everyday im always thinking of you
everyday’s another lonely day without you
everyday you’re here beside me
everyday im always dreaming of you
everyday i will be right here waiting for you
everyday…hoo
It’s another long and sleepless night
And thoughts run through my mind
Guess I’m just feeling lonely
It’s been so empty since you’ve been gone

I’ll be holding on for it won’t be long
I’ll be counting the days til i see u home
And if u feel the same way too
Just remember these words ill say to you

Repeat chorus

Everyday…everyday

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SECRET LOVE SONG – LITTLE MIX FEAT. JASON DERULO

This is a modern song and you can hear on the radio playing. A ballad song that gives me chills every time it plays on my playlist. Little Mix a British girl group and consisting of members Jade Thirlwall, Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and Jesy Nelson. Jason Derulo is an American singer, songwriter, and dancer.

WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS SONG?

I am hooked with this song since I looked for the song lyrics and it hit me much every time they sing this. There is something in this song that I can’t explain. It’s like a secret love between the two person. They have mutual feelings but they can’t express their love to all. I tried to relate this to my relationship because we are far from each other and I feel envious to other couples that are so close to each other and they can do anything.

LYRICS:

When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t it be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours

We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It’ll never be enough
It’s obvious you’re meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I’m in so deep
But I’ll never show it on my face

But we know this, we got a love that is homeless

Why can’t you hold me in the street?
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t we be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours

[Jason Derulo:]
When you’re with him, do you call his name
Like you do when you’re with me? Does it feel the same?
Would you leave if I was ready to settle down?
Or would you play it safe and stay?

Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless

Why can’t you hold me in the street?
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t we be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours

And nobody knows I’m in love with someone’s baby
I don’t wanna hide us away
Tell the world about the love we’re making
I’m living for that day
Someday
Why can’t I hold you in the street?
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that we could be like that
Why can’t we be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours, I’m yours

Oh, why can’t you hold me in the street?
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t it be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours
Why can’t I say that I’m in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t we be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours

Why can’t we be like that?
Wish we could be like that

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NOTE : I should have posted this to LDRBN but soon our community will be closing down so I will just share in here. The posts that I will do in the future will be dedicated for LDRBN and LDRBN friends and I hope we will continue to support each other.

This is real. This is love. Loving someone is taking risks but in the end it’s worth it. It doesn’t matter if you’ll be hurt and feel pain because that’s the way it is. In love it’s not always happy. You have to learn from relationships and take note of it.