Sorry to Dr. Mike, But Having a Hot Doctor Would Be the Worst

You can now book an appointment with Instagram’s hottest doctor, Dr. Mike (known to some by his less sexy actual name, Mikhail Varshavski). Don’t book an appointment with him if your intention is to try to get a date with him. Why? Consider this: Do you really want to have a hot doctor? Think about why you go to the doctor. Nobody wants to see a hot doctor when their nose is dripping with snot, their eyes are swollen out of their head, and they’re two seconds away from unimaginable public bowel distress.

Still, Dr. Mike is joining forces with another hot doctor of Instagram, Dr. Jake, who, to be honest, is not as hot as Dr. Mike. (Quick question: Are hot doctors legally required to go by their first names?) Dr. Mike told TheObserver:

By partnering with Dr. Jake, my hope is to encourage more people to visit their doctor. We are both very active on social media and believe physicians need to become more relatable. Together we want to break the antiquated notion that doctors are superiors who give order to their patients.

The hot doctors are doing this all for charity, because part of their hotness is their relentless devotion to helping humanity. Of course, going to a hot doctor when you look disgusting is in itself a selfless act.