Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Tearing my Hair Out (Warning - Vent and Whining Ahead)

Posted by Anonymous

2 Replies

Please don't feel like you have to read all of this; it's pretty long. I just need to vent and this is the only place I have where I can do that and my DH and MIL won't see it. I'm posting anon just in case; I suspect there may be some people on CM who might guess who I am by all of this and I don't want to compromise the new screen name I created last year.

So my MIL has come to "visit" us. The home that she knew for 50+ years is no longer hers, as her oldest son bought the property out of the trust and basically screwed her and the rest of the family out of it. She needs a place to go and I understand that. She has talked to my DH about staying here with us, and I have told him that I don't have a problem with it. That said, there are some issues that we need to overcome.

We're in a rental. We had to pay to have our animals here. If she stays, I don't know what the landlord is going to say about two additional animals, much less that we'd be able to find another place to rent with five critters in tow - we had a hard enough time finding this one with just our three. And I'm not sure we're going to be able to find a place that we can purchase with limited money down between now and the time our first year lease runs out in a little over a month and a half (what little we had in savings has been depleted by medical bills, vehicle repairs, and moving expenses).

And if she stays, we *really* need to find another place. We're currently in a three-bedroom, which worked great for just DH and me. DH snores a lot, and I often slept in the guest room so I could actually get some sleep. Now that she's here, I'm seriously sleep deprived because my choices are down to lying there in bed staring at the ceiling or sleeping on the couch with the dogs. That's been one of my pet peeves throughout our marriage - every time things get tough or sacrifices need to be made, *I* am the one who gets screwed. He's not the one who does without, I am. He's back there snoring away right now while I'm going to have to find a way to get through this entire day on the ZERO sleep I got last night, because I can't move to the guest room and I'm tired of smelling like dog when I wake up in the morning.

We have a futon in storage. I've thought about settting that up somewhere but there *is* nowhere in this tiny little house. The garage itself it packed full of crap from front to back, side to side, floor to ceiling, because DH won't help me go through it to pare it down and I can only do so much at a time all by myself. We actually have a pretty large dining area/family room type room, but it's currently piled full of stuff that won't fit into the garage, for the same reason that the garage remains full. We have tubs full of stuff in the living room, tubs full of stuff in the exercise room, stuff piled on one end of the guest room, crap piled on every flat surface because every danged time I clear them off he piles them back up again. (Another issue - *I* seem to be the only one in the house who can figure out where to put things and then actually put them there.) It's all so frustrating - I feel like I'm living in an episode of hoarders and it's depressing and driving me nuts. But we came from a much larger house to this and we've been through so many moves that I don't know what's in any given box because so much of it was not packed by me, or was re-used and does not contain what is noted on the outside of the box, and there are certain things of sentimental value that I dont' want to risk throwing away. So I'm stuck until I have time to do it all myself, because DH is a lazy @ss when it comes to that and would rather just take it all to the dump and be done with it, because spending endless hours driving around or sitting in his chair watching TV and accomplishing nothing is so much better in his eyes.

For the most part MIL and I get along pretty well. She is a news junkie and I'm not, but I can put in earphones and watch NetFlix on the computer when it starts getting to me. She's a junk food junkie and I'm trying to get back into shape, but I can always say "no thanks" when she offers me something and go have some ice water. She likes to cook and do laundry and keep the kitchen clean, and for that I am immensely grateful. But I really, really, really need to find us a place with four, maybe even five bedrooms and at least two bathrooms if she's going to live out her golden years with us, because dammit, I need my sleep too!

Crap. I was gonna get up and walk before taking my shower this morning anyway, and it's almost time for my alarm to go off... I think I'm gonna hit the treadmill. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

I read it all, lol, it wasnt too long. I understand about the hubby snoring, mine sleeps on the couch and sometimes I can still hear him. Do you have a friend that could go through your stuff with you?

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.