Kristen, Bruce and I would not be in this mess. All I’ll say about THAT one.

Now back to your original post.

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Jeter Cheater, whatever. So. 23-year-old makes the catch. You know the one. That epic, inflated number 3,000. Now, the ball is worth $250k. What does he do? He gives it back to Jeter.

Noble, right?

Kid has $100k in student loans. $250k-$100k is $150k.

Things that cost LESS than $150K. Food for starving people (like you, 23-year-old with $100k in debt). High interest mutual funds. Ponies. A down payment on a house. A car. A boat. A dock for the boat. A puppy. See where I’m going with this?

Say it’s David Ortiz. Or Jason Varitek. And this is miracle world. And this is hit number 3,000. Do you give it back? Do you keep it? Or do you say, bye-bye debt and smelly recession, hello boat and good credit?

Because, call me unsentimental, but it’s a ball. It’s cork, people. Cork and wool and rawhide. I looked it up on the internet. I only have (only, hah!) about $20k in debt, and I think I’d hock it. I’d hock it and I’d have $230k. I love you Tek. Desperately. But I know what your paycheck says and I know you could afford to buy it from me.

Does that make me a bad person? I’d hock it and use my $250k to pay off my debt, buy my boat and manipulate Kevin Youkilis into going for a sail. Because a sail is better than a piece of cork when it’s part of getting you out of debt. Does that make me heartless?