Now his judge, Queens Supreme Court Justice William Erlbaum, has seen the famous video of Monserrate dragging his bleeding girlfriend from their apartment building, on his way to take her not to the closest hospital but rather to one that he thought was outside city limits, and he might not have shown that tape to a jury, but Monserrate decided not to leave that to chance.

His gravely voiced attack-dog lawyer Joeseph Tacopina says it'd be impossible to get an unbiased jury anyway, because everyone who reads the papers knows what this asshole did, and Tacopina does not want things like "sympathy" getting in the way of a fair verdict.

Monserrate's defense rests on his claim that his girlfriend's face was brutally slashed when he tripped while bringing her a glass of water during an argument, because in addition to being violent he is also dumb.