Week 22: Deathly Hallows, Ch. 1 - 8

Why the fuck did Snape tell them that Harry would be moved when he was? Got Hedwig killed, the absolute dickhead. Also Mad-Eye but he was useless anyway.

page 6 said:

“My Lord, I have good news on that score. I have – with difficulty, and after great effort – succeeded in placing an Imperius Curse upon Pius Thicknesse.”

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Yaxley is actually pretty competent, huh.

page 7 said:

“Let’s see … Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore.”

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What a putdown.

page 7 said:

He drew out his wand and compared the lengths. Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement;

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Rowling had to know this line would make everyone reading it snigger.

page 8 said:

its neck the thickness of a man’s thigh;

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I had to look up if snakes actually have necks. Turns out they do! Fascinating.

page 8 said:

“No higher pleasure,” repeated Voldemort, his head tilted a little to one side as he considered Bellatrix. “That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you.”

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[insert Cursed Child joke here]

page 12 said:

I met Albus Dumbledore at the age of eleven, on our first day at Hogwarts. Our mutual attraction

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ha, gaaay

page 14 said:

He died as he lived: working always for the greater good

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Goddamnit, Doge.

page 21 said:

The Dursleys had spotted Kingsley on the news, walking along the Muggle Prime Minister as he visited a hospital. This, and the fact that Kingsley had mastered the knack of dressing like a Muggle, not to mention a certain reassuring something in his slow, deep voice, had caused the Dursleys to take to Kingsley in a way that they had certainly not done with any other wizard, although it was true that they had never seen him with earring in.

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They don't mind that he's black, then?

page 22 said:

What did you say to one another at the end of sixteen years' solid dislike?

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Goodbye and thanks for all the fish?

page 22 said:

Back in his bedroom, Harry fiddled aimlessly with his rucksack then poked a couple of owl nuts through the bats of Hedwig's cage. They fell with dull thuds to the bottom where she ignored them. "We're leaving soon, really soon," Harry told her. "And then you'll be able to fly again."

"Hedwig – Hedwig –"
But the owl lay motionless and pathetic as a toy on the floor of her cage.

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;_;

page 34 said:

And then Harry saw him. Voldemort was flying like smoke on the wind, without broomstick or thestral to hold him, his snake-like face gleaming out of the blackness, his white fingers raising his wand again – Hagrid let out a bellow of fear and steered the motorbike into a vertical dive.

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Ram it into him, Hagrid!

page 40 said:

"He lost an ear," said Lupin.
"lost an -- ?" repeated Hermione in a high voice.
"Snape's work," said Lupin.

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This is about where the "Snape was just pretending to be a huge twat!" theory falls apart.

page 43 said:

"Here," he said, and with a wave of his wand, he sent twelve full glasses soaring through the room to each of them, holding the thirteenth aloft. "Mad-Eye."
"Mad-Eye," they all said, and drank.

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To Mad-Eye, a man whose accomplishments in this series are, in order, getting surprised, stuffed into a trunk, and impersonated by someone who'd spent the last X years living in house arrest under an invisibility cloak; getting his shit kicked in during the Ministry debacle; finally, choosing the worst possible partner he could've and getting his shit kicked in again, this time fatally.

page 45 said:

"No, I think you're like James," said Lupin, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends."

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Oh fuck off, Lupin. Least he didn't leave his wife and unborn child because he was being a sorry sack of shit about himself.

page 49 said:

Mr. Weasley had explained that after the death of Dumbledore, their Secret-Keeper, each of the people to whom Dumbledore had confided Grimmauld Place’s location had become a Secret- Keeper in turn.
“And as there are around twenty of us, that greatly dilutes the power of the Fidelius Charm.

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Wonder if the spell is actually diluted or just keeping a secret becomes harder. Or both.

page 52 said:

not to mention smuggling Mad-Eye’s whole stock of Polyjuice Potion right under Ron’s mum’s nose.

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Wow. I forgot that's where she got it.

page 52 said:

“I’ve also modified my parents’ memories so that they’re convinced they’re really called Wendell and Monica Wilkins, and that their life’s ambition is to move to Australia, which they have now done.

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Jesus christ, Hermione!

Ron "having spattergroit" is a brilliant callback to two books ago.

page 57 said:

“While the magical container is still intact, the bit of soul inside it can flit in and out of someone if they get too close to the object. I don’t mean holding it for too long, it’s nothing to do with touching it,” she added before Ron could speak.

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Hm.

page 71 said:

"Yeah, well," said Harry, his pulse quickened as he raised the Snitch in his fingers.
"I wasn't going to try too hard in front of Scrimgeour was I?"

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Clever.

page 73 said:

The plan was to introduce Harry as “Cousin Barny” and trust to the great number of Weasley relatives to camouflage him.

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And it actually works.

page 73 said:

“When I get married,” said Fred, tugging at the collar of his own robes, “I won’t be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you like, and I’ll put a full Body Bird Curse on Mum until it’s all over.”

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Yeah, about that.

page 74 said:

“Oh, just your expression,” she said.

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hnngh

page 80 said:

“Vot,” he said, draining his goblet and getting to his feet again, “is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?”

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For all he knows he's talking to just another Weasley he's never met before, Krum's a pretty fun guy.

I'm pretty sure that the "Snape uses Sectumsempra on George" bit is revealed in the Prince's Tale bit to have been aimed at a Death Eater.

One thing that I noticed when I started reading this book, is the lack of excitement. Whenever I open, or opened, one of the first four books, I always feel a sort of excitement to return to the setting and immerse myself in the magical world. Not with the last three books though. They just don't have the same feel to them, and in retrospect, they are a huge disappointment. Oh well, let's get on with it.

“Good,” said Voldemort. He drew out his wand and compared the lengths.

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There are many dick jokes throughout this book, and they are all about as subtle as this one.

"My Lord,” said a dark woman halfway down the table, her voice constricted with emotion, “it is an honor to have you here, in our family’s house. There can be no higher pleasure.”
“No higher pleasure,” repeated Voldemort, his head tilted a little to one side as he considered Bellatrix. “That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you.”

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This takes an entirely new meaning after Rowling's latest abomination. Ew.

“But you would not have taken her classes,” said Voldemort. “For those of you who do not know, we are joined here tonight by Charity Burbage who, until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

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Yet whom we have never seen mentioned in the span of six books that took place in Hogwarts.

It was stupid, pointless, irritating beyond belief that he still had four days left of being unable to perform magic… but he had to admit to himself that this jagged cut in his finger would have defeated him. He had never learned how to repair wounds, and now he came to think of it – particularly in light of his immediate plans – this seemed a serious flaw in his magical education. Making a mental note to ask Hermione how it was done

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A. Yes he did learn how to repair wounds. He learned it last book. He used the Epiksey charm to heal Demelza Robins' lip. What's wrong with your memory, Rowling?
B. Why ask Hermione? She's never shown an affinity for healing spells. Why not ask Molly, or Lupin, or someone from the Order who actually has experience with that? But Rowling really went to town with her Hermione worship in this book.

I wrote to Albus, describing, perhaps insensitively, the wonders of my journey, from narrow escapes from chimaeras in Greece to the experiments of the Egyptian alchemists. His letters told me little of his day-to-day life, which I guessed to be frustratingly dull for such a brilliant wizard. Immersed in my own experiences, it was with horror that I heard, toward the end of my year's travels, that another tragedy had struck the Dumbledores: the death of his sister, Ariana.

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I guess you can say that Dumbledore didn't tell Doge about Ariana in order not to spoil his vacation, but the weird inconsistency doesn't stop here – just wait to hear him completely change his story in chapter 8.

"But… surely you know where your nephew is going?" she asked looking bewildered.

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Well, Hestia, considering that the location Harry is heading to is top secret and even Voldemort doesn't know about it, I'd say that Vernon Dursley doesn't know, no.

"You’ll be going to Tonks’s parents. Once you’re within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we’ve put on their house you’ll be able to use a Portkey to the Burrow. Any questions?”

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Yes Moody, I have a question. Why not just take the Portkey while in the air outside Privet Drive? Why not get Harry into a car and drive a bit before you apparate, like Hestia and Dedalus did with the Dursleys? For that matter, why use Polyjuice to turn six people into Harry, when you can just use it to turn Harry into someone else, and just for the sake of it, put him under the Invisibility Cloak as well? Why make a big show of transporting him on brooms? And what was the point of Snape feeding Voldemort that information in the first place?
Well, I guess the answer is that Rowling needed her big flashy action scene where Voldemort flies like Superman and encounters Harry's Amazing Auto-Wand™ so he could seek the Elder Wand, no matter that it makes her characters look like complete idiots.

“I’m taking Fleur on a thestral,” said Bill. “She’s not that fond of brooms.”

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Don't let that deter you, fanfiction writers. We all know that Fleur is secretly a professional broom racer, right?

Harry sent Stunning Spell after Stunning Spell back at their pursuers.

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Just this chapter Moody said that they can't use apparition/portkey because that will let the Ministry persecute Harry for underage magic use. That's the sole reason they took this idiotic mission. But now Harry's flinging spells in the air, and what, no word from the Ministry? I'll say it again, The Trace is one of the stupidest things Rowling conceived of.

The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back on what felt like cushions, with a burning sensation in his ribs and right arm. His missing tooth had been regrown.

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Aha! So you can easily regrow teeth with magic. Yet neither Morfin nor Tom the Bartender ever bothered to. I guess they just like it that way.

"Something go wrong with the bike? Arthur Weasley overstretch himself again, him and his Muggle contraptions?"

What? How would Lupin know that? Was Snape going around in school slashing people with dark curses? (and I still don't believe that he created the spell, since unlike any of his other spells, this one didn't have any revisions of it in the book, and Harry believed that the Prince just copied it there. Lupin's words seem to support my argument, since he actually knows the spell.)

and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than firewhisky

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Wait, what the fuck? When did Harry become so fond of firewhisky that drinking it is the highest pleasure he can imagine? Didn't he only drink it first a couple of days before? Wouldn't butterbeer, at least, be a better example? Does Rowling actually think before she writes something?

"This is not a joke, Potter!" growled Scrimgeour. "Was it because Dumbledore believed that only the sword of Godric Gryffindor could defeat the Heir of Slytherin? Did he wish to give you that sword, Potter, because he believed, as do many, that you are the one destined to destroy He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"
"Interesting theory," said Harry. "Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword in Voldemort? Maybe the Ministry should put some people onto that

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Harry had a great many burns during the series, but this one is undoubtedly the greatest.

“Shake your head all you like, Elphias. You were at Ariana’s funeral, were you not?”
“Yes I was,” said Doge, through trembling lips, ”and a more desperately sad occasion I cannot remember. Albus was heartbroken-"

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You dodgy liar, you, Doge! You just wrote in your obituary that you went abroad after Dumbledore's mom died, and that you only heard about Ariana's death when you returned a year later, which was a long time after the funeral. No wonder Rita Skeeter calls you gaga.
(I know, I know. The blame for this is really on Rowling's inability to keep her stories consistent. Yet, remember that old conspiracy theory, that Rowling had died in a car crush sometime after GoF was published, and that the next books were written by a group of ghost writers? I'm starting to believe it.)

When was Yaxley first mentioned? I have absolutely no memory of him in any previous book, and I've looked at the most likely places for him to have been mentioned - all in GoF, the conversation with Sirius, Karkaroff's trial, Crouch's trial, and the graveyard - and he's not mentioned in any of them that I can see. Which wouldn't matter, but the Yaxley family are very prominent in the Sacrifices Arc, which concluded six months prior to the release of Deathly Hallows.

If he has been Confunded, naturally he is certain

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That doesn't quite seem to match Hermione's Confunding of Cormac in HBP, although I suppose you could attribute that to more practice with the spell (and yes, I realise that Dawlish probably hasn't been Confunded, in reality, but in order for Snape to pull this off his claim must have some basis in accuracy, surely).

Chapter 2: In Memoriam

a savage and well-publicised attack upon three young Muggles

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I'd forgotten it was mentioned that early. That said though, if it's well known enough for one of Dumbledore's closest friends, who is mostly appalled by the mere insinuation that Dumbledore might have any skeletons in his closet, to acknowledge it, then it seems like the sort of thing that might have been brought up when the Ministry was trying to discredit him.

In fairness to Aberforth, it must be admitted that living in Albus's shadow cannot have been an altogether comfortable experience. Being continually outshone was an occupational hazard of being his friend and cannot have been any more pleasurable as a brother.

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Nice little parallel with Ron, there, which is ironic given the fan theory that Dumbledore was a time travelling Ron (IIRC).

even tough the only personal question he had ever asked his Headmaster was also the only one he suspected that Dumbledore had not answered honestly

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Yeah right.

Chapter 3: The Dursleys Departing

Don't you understand? They will torture and kill you like they did my parents?

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So...they'll kill them instantly and, as far as we know, painlessly, with no torture?

And then you'll be able to fly again.

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Awkward.

Chapter 4: The Seven Potters

'accio Hagrid!'
The motorbike sped up, sucked towards the earth.

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That seems to imply some observation of physics with magic, which I don't recall anywhere else in the series so far.

Chapter 5: Fallen Warrior

Arthur Weasley overstretch himself again, him and his Muggle contraptions?

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Way to reclaim the slur, Ted.

he'd have died the same as if I'd used Avada Kedavra!

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People using incantations in conversation, really carelessly in this instance.

Over Hermione's shoulder Harry saw him raise his wand and point it at Lupin's chest.
'The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?'
'Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,' Lupin said calmly.
Kingsley turned his wand on Harry, but Lupin said, 'It's him, I've checked.'
'All right, all right!', said Kingsley, stowing his wand back beneath his cloak.

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But....who checked Kingsley?

Chapter 6: The Ghoul in Pyjamas

I know you said you wanted to go to Godric's Hollow first, Harry, and I understand why...

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Good job they don't. They wouldn't have understood the clues to the Hallows at that stage.

I just did a Summoning Charm

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This is honestly the biggest bit of bullshit in the entire book. At least the stuff with the Elder Wand is an expansion of previously existing wandlore, but this is just...gah.

While the magical container is still intact, the bit of soul inside it can flit in and out of someone if they get too close to the object. I don't mean holding it for too long, it's nothing to do with touching it

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Oh.

I'll come back to this bit when I get to Ron leaving...but either Rowling contradicts herself within the same book, or people have been giving Ron a pass based on something incorrect. Although I can think of at least one way around it that doesn't contradict anything and offers a justification for him.

Chapter 7: The Will of Albus Dumbledore

'The Decree for Justifiable Confiscation...'
'That law was created to stop wizards passing on Dark artefacts

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OK, at what point was that relevant in any of her lessons? Or are we really suggesting that she reads books on what is probably pretty obscure magical law for fun and giggles.

Snitches have flesh memories.

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How do Harry and Ron not know this? Or rather, why has Hermione picked something up about the mechanics of a sport she doesn't play, when those two haven't? If Rowling had gone on to suggest that they just didn't know the technical term for it, but knew what it was, then that'd be fair enough, but this is just a little irritating.

“I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.” ​