Frank Mulligan: Profound questions

Frank Mulligan

Friday

May 30, 2008 at 12:01 AMMay 30, 2008 at 9:19 AM

Dear Class of 2008: There are a vast number of weighty questions in this world, and the need to answer them correctly is so important that perhaps our very future hangs in the balance. So, while someone addresses them (let’s hope), here are a few questions of my own.

Dear Class of 2008,

There are a vast number of weighty questions in this world, and the need to answer them correctly is so important that perhaps our very future hangs in the balance.

So, while someone addresses them (let’s hope), here are a few questions of my own:

- Why are you supposed to say “God bless you” to someone who has just sneezed, but it’s OK to ignore someone who has just coughed?

- Who invented chunky peanut butter, and why?

- If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one around to hear it, who cares?

- I’ve got a used outdoor garbage can that I want to throw out. What do I put it in?

- When asked “the keys to winning the game” why doesn’t a pro athlete, coach or commentator respond, “whichever team has the most points at the end?”

- Does anyone other than my colleague at this newspaper buy the Apple Dippers at McDonald’s?