August: Of Temporal Inconsistency

Product Description

Picture, if you will, a small, East Coast lakeshore town during August 1958, where a young man on the cusp of independence and adulthood rests on the hood of his car after enjoying perhaps the last day of his misspent youth in the bosom of his friends. And lo, but what to the west should appear but a temporal inconsistency in the form of a troll in a jar. This beast, this being, this creature of the netherworld-itself a manifestation of a rift in the space-time continuum-generously implants fleeting, amorphous and mundane visions of the young man's impending existence into the boy's brain. In a flash, the youth is made privy to glimpses of moments from a fortnight-plus-one days of his life as a fully matured homosapien. The temporal inconsistency passes. The lad remains atop the hood of his car, forever changed and newly cognizant and enthusiastically enamored of his fate. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the youth (heretofore known as Creepy Bobby), some 379 million lightyears away, a two-headed, highly literary entity of British persuasion puts the finishing touches on a folk/pop ditty that will be performed relentlessly when the aliens overtake Sacramento-the flashpoint of the interstellar war that began in March of 2006, and will lead, eventually, to the takeover of the entire planet. God help us all.

Picture, if you will, a small, East Coast lakeshore town during August 1958, where a young man on the cusp of independence and adulthood rests on the hood of his car after enjoying perhaps the last day of his misspent youth in the bosom of his friends. And lo, but what to the west should appear but a temporal inconsistency in the form of a troll in a jar. This beast, this being, this creature of the netherworld-itself a manifestation of a rift in the space-time continuum-generously implants fleeting, amorphous and mundane visions of the young man's impending existence into the boy's brain. In a flash, the youth is made privy to glimpses of moments from a fortnight-plus-one days of his life as a fully matured homosapien. The temporal inconsistency passes. The lad remains atop the hood of his car, forever changed and newly cognizant and enthusiastically enamored of his fate. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the youth (heretofore known as Creepy Bobby), some 379 million lightyears away, a two-headed, highly literary entity of British persuasion puts the finishing touches on a folk/pop ditty that will be performed relentlessly when the aliens overtake Sacramento-the flashpoint of the interstellar war that began in March of 2006, and will lead, eventually, to the takeover of the entire planet. God help us all.