“There is a different kind of reaction a person gives to Lindsay Lohan than to Anthony Hopkins,” LaBeouf said. “I want that. I don’t want the other side of it, and I try to stay away from that. I realize the position I’m in and how fast it happened. It’s humbling, and it’s crazy. I’m going for more than a five-year career here.”

I spent a lot of time coming up with a crappy Transformer reference for this. Are you ready?

When asked for comment, Optimus Prime said, “From the beginning the Autobots were supportive of this human and his inability to transform. How disappointing that he is just another out of control pretty boy. How troubling it is, his lack of character. There is not more than meets the eye.”

It was the best I could do… Um… Wait.

When questioned by police, Shia LaBeouf stated that he was simply waiting for a magic yellow car from the planet “Cybertron” to arrive that doubled as his designated driver.