Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Garden Pest Deterrent

This is my home made recipe for a never fail garden pest deterrent.
Works on bears, moose, deer, elk, rabbits, squirrel, slugs, most insects and anyone that decides to come by and swipe some produce out of your garden...WARNING:Wear protective gloves through-out the entire procedure. NEVER touch your face, eyes, mouth, nose, etc. Guys; no crotch scratching or ass scratching. Same for you ladies. Trust me on this.
Ingredients:
4 Habanero peppers

Habanero Peppers, aka Scotch Bonnets

3 Jalapeno peppers

Jalapeno peppers

1 or 2 Ghost peppers (if you can find one. If not, find a hot sauce made from them) OR 1 Carolina Reapers pepper (or hot sauce made from it)

Ghost Peppers

Carolina Reaper pepper

1/4 cup ground black pepper
1 Cup vegetable oil
3 cups warm water

BEFORE YOU BEGIN:
You will need:
A blender with a tight fitting lid that you never intend to use again or will ONLY be used to make the deterrent and will be safely stored in a corner of the garage afterwards. Pick one up at a thrift shop.

One old knife you are willing to throw away afterwards.

One long extension cord.

A tarp. 8 x 10 will do.

A couple of sturdy trash bags.

A pair (or two) of the sturdy Rubbermaid gloves ...do NOT try doing this with the wimpy medical gloves. You will regret it.

One pair of protective goggles. (Y'all think I am joking...trust me, if you don't have them, you'll wish you did!)

A couple of empty spray bottles and an old plastic funnel or a disposable funnel.

Coffee filters or something else to filter the liquid.

A good friend or spouse with a cell phone at the ready and a car, in case you screw up and medical attention becomes necessary.

Make sure there are no young children, household pets or farm animals or other innocent by-standers within about 50 to 100 feet of making the deterrent.

Ready? Have everything assembled? Okay...let's do this!

Plug in extension cord and take it outside, as far away from the house as it will reach.
Plug blender in. Have it sitting on a flat surface. (But, dear god, NOT on the patio!)
Put on gloves and goggles, open lid of blender.
Cut each of the peppers in half length wise and drop in blender.
If you are using the ghost or Carolina Reaper pepper sauce, pour in 1/4 of the bottle.
Add black pepper.
SLOWLY (so it won't splash) add vegetable oil and water.
Put lid on blender. Check to make sure it is on tightly. Check again. Look around to make sure no person or animal is nearby.
Check lid for tightness again.
Turn the blender on liquify.
HOLD THE LID ON AND PRAY.
Liquify that mess for 30 seconds to a minute. Make sure it is liquified.
Still see chunks? Hit that button again! MAKE SURE YOU LIQUIFY THE CRAP OUT OF IT!
Turn off blender. DO NOT OPEN IT!!!
Unplug blender. Take it further out in the yard.
A little further than that, okay?
Have friend/spouse lay out tarp.
Tell them to run and get back in the house.
Get in center of tarp and CAREFULLY open blender.
AWAY from your face.
TRY NOT TO BREATHE FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTES.
Seriously. If you do have to breathe, turn your head away from the deterrent and/or blender.
Place coffee filter in funnel. Pour nasty pepper liquid into funnel (which I assume you are holding in the spray bottle) It will take a bit for the liquid to filter through.
Funnel the vile potion into the spray bottles and cap them tightly.
Get all of it you can out of the blender during this part of the procedure.

Okay...all that was the EASY part.

Now the clean up.
Stay on the tarp.
Carefully place spray bottles, funnel and blender (if you intend to keep it) off the tarp.
Yell for your friend to get the water hose and turn it on...medium pressure.
If you are keeping the blender (you poor, misguided fool) rinse it out as thoroughly as you can with the hose. Remember to rinse the lid. Wrap it in trash bag. Rinse off the outside of the spray bottles, too.
CAREFULLY remove gloves and toss on tarp. The coffee filters should already be there, btw.
Take off goggles and toss on tarp.
To hell with it, take off everything and toss on tarp, jump off of tarp and hose yourself down.
Gather up tarp by corners and put into other trash bag.
Wave at the neighbors who have been watching you strip with great amusement..
Leave friend/spouse to put everything in the trash for you and run in house. (Yes, the clothes, too. If those clothes are washed in your washer, the pepper oils get on every article of clothing in the wash. Wash separately you say? Ummmm...NO. It will stay in your washer for around 3 to 5 loads.)
If you feel any burning or itching sensations, grab a big box of baking soda, jump in shower and use baking soda as body scrub to neutralize hot pepper oils. Shower with lukewarm water.
Dress and go have a glass of wine or a cold beer. Job well done and it deserves a reward.Using Deterrent Spray:

It is best to wear gloves during application and to not touch face, etc.Yeah, dispose of the gloves afterwards.
Spray all veggie plants on the outer rows of your garden, AND spray the ground itself around the garden...sort of a perimeter situation. If you wish, you can spray all your plants. Shake the bottles once in awhile to make sure the oil/water stays mixed up pretty good.
You should spray after a rain.
DO NOT SPRAY IF YOU ARE HARVESTING WITHIN A WEEK.....POSSIBLY WITHIN TWO WEEKS OF HARVEST.

Please remember that the directions given above are because someone learned "the hard way" just how lethal and nasty this stuff is.
The first time you see a squirrel or rabbit encounter the HOT spray is a sight to behold. Deer freak out and take off for parts unknown. I had a neighbors cat sit on a patch I had sprayed (they were using my garden as a bathroom)...the cat never came back.

I usually make it once a year and filter it into mason jars and refill the spray bottles as needed.
Good luck!

Since I have tough hands, I did not need to use gloves. I am a girly, girl who has not one callus. Then, I rubbed my eye and almost went blind and screamed lots. The skin from above my eyebrows and an inch around my eyes, including my eyelids made it appear I was a burn victim who should have checked into a burn unit. It took over two weeks to get normal skin.

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