Sexy Reminder BBFF Holiday Survival Guide

At the risk of sounding pessimistic [please trust that I am NOT a Scrooge], the reality is that the next month can be our most stressful time of year - for both men and women. The good news is that I don't intend on outlining the angst without giving you some solid plans to help deal with it. Below, please find your BAD BOYS FINISH FIRST / BAD GIRLS FINISH FIRST HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE. Keep in mind this is a guide, not dogmatic rules. Besides, you're going to do what ever the hell you want to do anyway but at least take my suggestions into consideration.

Note: When in doubt, exercise a lot and have as much sex as humanely possible!

The List:

1. Family

- Who's to go to

- Who's not to go to

- Is it too soon to introduce your boyfriend / girlfriend to your family and friends

*How to handle it:

- Don't wait until the last minute, make a plan today on who's family you will see and exactly how much time you will spend at their house. Be militant about this but flexible when need be. If they are coming over to your place, know when to kick them out. If they have no idea when they've over stayed their welcome, blow out the candles and start shutting off lights. Pepper spray and a Taser are also acceptable remedies.

- If you have recently begun dating someone and have not met the "three months together criteria" do NOT bring them to your family get together. It's best to sit this one out, do your own thing and regroup after the festivities. It may seem a bit cold or awkward but it's for the best. Talk about it with your new guy or girl and make it a matter of maturity and practicality rather than one of "keeping your distance". Albeit, keeping your distance may be the call but don't tell them that.

- If you've been dating someone a brief time [less than three months] buying a small gift that says you appreciate them is all you need to do. In most cases something that costs you less than $50. If you don't have the cash then give them the best sex they've ever had, assuming you know what "best sex" looks, feels, and sounds like.

- If you've been dating for a year or more then the onus is on you to take careful stock of who you're with. Get them something nice that shows you've paid attention to who they truly are, taking into consideration their hobbies and interests [if they have any lol ]. The point it to not just buy impersonal gifts as a matter of obligation!

3. New Years Eve

- What the hell should we do as a couple, single, or newly dating?

- It's amateur hour, restaurants and clubs gouge, but your girl still wants to do "something"

- If you just started dating do you really want all that pressure to arrange something fun for New Years Eve?

How to handle it:

I've spent New Years Eves all over the world at big parties and clubs but, from my experience, it's more hype than anything else. Still, every year I feel the pressure to be doing something "fabulous" that night to validate "I'm living large".

A great night can be as simple as just the two of you, you and your significant other. But If you're in your 20's, and you haven't figured out that New Years Eve "ain't all that" you soon will - after you spend a few thousand on night club tickets and over priced restaurants. They, the owners of clubs and eateries, know you have to "buy entertainment" instead of creating it and they plan to charge you dearly for your lack of creativity.

Moreover, my best New Years have been spent with a small group of people at house parties or with a girl I was in love with. If I had it my way, and I do, I would be with a close group of friends, not get drunk, and find a good kisser no later than 11pm.

If you are lucky enough to be with someone you love, a romantic night should be planned no matter what she says. I've made the mistake, in the past, of not planning anything and regretted it. You can help your guy out by coming up with some feasible options. Women make great party planners so why not take the reigns on this one.

The pressure on men to find something wonderful to do and the pressure on women to have someone to kiss at 12:01 am can be excruciating. With that in mind, I would start planning right now. Well everyone is rushing around shopping for gifts, you should be shopping for your New Years Eve plans.

- Best Bet> Rent a house somewhere and invite 20 to 30 people to a "theme styled" party. Make sure there are places for your party goers to sleep in the house or close by. NO DRINKING AND DRIVING.

- Be Safe and Smart. New Years Eve is a shit show and you don't want that one night of the year to bare problems for months to come.

Single on New Years is the best. Hop around from place to place, stay as long as you want, and befriend the people who just dumped their date or are single themselves.

4. Post Party Depression:

January 1st marks the beginning of the "void", what the hell are you supposed to do with yourself between now and Valentine's Day? You've posted all your holiday Face Book pictures [ pursing your lips, drink in hand, waving gang signs, and other things that make you look extremely unattractive] , the Christmas tree has become a fire hazard, and you are regretting the weight you've gained.

This is an especially difficult time of year for me because, unless I travel, there's not much to do in New England. So, I travel and If you have the time and financial means I recommend going away once a month to recharge your batteries and get some sun.

You may be thinking I sound negative. That is NOT my intention at all. I want you to plan things so that you can write me and say, "Steve, you were so wrong, I had a great holiday season and didn't suffer any of the problems you mentioned."