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1 http://wordpress.com/https://girlinpursuitblog3.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/cropped-girl-in-pursuit-icon.png?w=32the girl in pursuithttps://girlinpursuitblog.com
3232Senior Year Part One Reflectionhttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/13/senior-year-part-one-reflection/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/13/senior-year-part-one-reflection/#respondThu, 13 Dec 2018 17:00:24 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3791I’m now halfway through my senior year, with one more semester to get through before entering the real world and paying off student loans until I’m 40.

Really though, this past semester challenged me in many ways, and I’m definitely a different person coming out on the other side. I feel like this semester was a journey in itself, the first half of an adventure that will come to a close at my college graduation on the other side of this year.

I am a completely different person than I was when I came to Drake as an 18-year-old, unsure and nervous but ready to take on whatever I could. And now, I am facing the last leg of my college experience, these last few months before transitioning into a new chapter, where I hope life is a lot like what these last few months have been: challenging but rewarding, busy but with plenty of peaceful times.

So, a recap of this last semester:

I started this semester disassociated from my sorority to be a recruitment counselor, which was one of my favorite experiences at Drake.

My boyfriend and I celebrated 5 (!!) years of being together. We’ve grown a million times stronger these last few years, and it only gets better.

I learned more about my strengths and weaknesses, and that a huge part of my weakness stems from how I think about myself–which isn’t great a lot of times. I realized how much confidence I had lost in my ability as a writer, a worker and my intelligence. I’ve been working on catching this more and I’m starting to realize how much I’ve been holding myself back because of this.

I completed my senior capstone, which changed me so much as a writer and reporter, and helped me find something else I want to do–radio/podcasts.

Through capstone, I worked on a podcast with another classmate, who was a stranger at first but quickly became a friend, and it helped me get out of my comfort zone and meet some pretty amazing people.

I learned that I need to be more bold, that I need to speak my mind more and that I can’t make everyone like me, even if I try really hard. Sometimes I get so stuck within myself that it’s hard for my true self to come through (which a lot of is due to anxiety, I think) but starting to learn this about myself has helped me ask myself why I feel like I can’t really ever relax around people.

There were definitely times where I was really down, and where I felt like I was losing my mind, but I managed to come out on the other side stronger, thanks to better coping skills.

I’ve learned how to be a better friend, and the kind of person I want to be.

I’m going full steam ahead with my literal lifelong dream of being an author and finally letting other people read my work. I’m trying not to be embarrassed about still playing pretend with my writing as an adult.

This semester was one of the wildest, most fun I’ve ever had.

I’m starting to truly get excited about my next phase in life. The world feels so open, which is pretty cool.

At the end of this semester, one word to describe how I feel would be hopeful. I’m also starting to feel empowered–I need to figure out what it is that I want, and I’m going to take it. I’m going to take risks and jump in head first, whatever comes in my way. I’ve accomplished a lot these last few semesters, and I’m excited to see what else I’ll do next year.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/13/senior-year-part-one-reflection/feed/0IMG_9587jspang24gmailcomHoliday Flannelhttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/08/holiday-flannel/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/08/holiday-flannel/#commentsSat, 08 Dec 2018 17:00:14 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3782It’s almost the end of the semester!!

I’ve been moving away more from “preppy” outfits, but sometimes I still come back to it, like I did with this holiday outfit.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/08/holiday-flannel/feed/1IMG_9806jspang24gmailcomIMG_9775IMG_9781IMG_9782IMG_9804IMG_9794blog signature pink2Autumn Photography Rounduphttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/07/autumn-photography-roundup/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/07/autumn-photography-roundup/#respondFri, 07 Dec 2018 02:15:52 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3756It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything, thanks to the stress of school, work and extracurriculars. This has been one of the busiest, most stressful semesters, but also one of my wildest, most fun semesters (semester reflection coming soon, so I’ll save more for that).

Photography is still one of my passions, and I’ve had the opportunity to focus more on nature/travel photography more this semester. One thing I’ve been trying to get in the habit of is bringing my camera with me more. That way I can get more practice even if what I’m taking pictures of isn’t as good as I want them to be.

Anyway, here is a roundup of the photos I’ve taken these last few months.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/12/07/autumn-photography-roundup/feed/0IMG_9821jspang24gmailcomblog signature pink2Apple of My Eyehttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/10/02/apple-of-my-eye/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/10/02/apple-of-my-eye/#respondTue, 02 Oct 2018 16:00:43 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3725I love apple picking. It reminds me of when I used to go with my mom and sister when I was younger, and it just makes me happy to be outside.

So some friends, my boyfriend and I decided to take on apple picking on a rainy Sunday afternoon and despite the chill, I had so much fun.

Since I was in an 8-hour retreat Saturday night, I decided to forgo some of my responsibilities on Sunday to have fun and do something I wanted to do. So much of my life in college has been dictated by meetings and obligations that I need to remind myself to actually go out and do something fun every now and then.

Details on my outfit: (fake) leather jacket from Dry Goods, my sweater is old but you can find a similar one here, boots from Hunter and jeans from Express.

I’ve been seeing this quote around that describes how some, when a woman comes forward with her story of sexual assault, say “but that was in the past!” or “we shouldn’t blame someone for something they did when they were younger!” But when a woman comes forward saying she was recently sexually assaulted, some will say “but think about his future!”

And few things have hit closer to home than this quote. In the past two years, I have seen so many women (and men!) coming forward to report their sexual assaults, which gives me hope. But with the increase of these reports, I have seen more people rush to defend rapists and make excuses as to why they shouldn’t go to prison. I’ve seen more victim blaming and slut shaming.

This makes me tired. Tired of not seeing survivors believed, or not being supported, of others trying to keep horrible people in power. I am sick of seeing people believing women only when it works for their political agenda. I am sick of seeing people belittle and insult survivors.

We still have such a long, long way to go and there are many obstacles in our way. For example, some women talk a big game about preventing rape and respecting survivors. But ACT on it, don’t just talk about it. Remember that men can be sexually assaulted too and stop with the slut shaming! Every woman has worth regardless of what she wears, how much she drinks, etc.

Men need to hold each other accountable, probably more than anyone else. If you think your friend is doing something that is violating another human being’s rights, for the love of god, call them out on it. Stop staying silent about your friend’s actions (why are you friends with people like this anyway?).

The biggest thing is: MAYBE means something. Believe survivors and stop voting people into office who *might have* sexually assaulted someone. Because those allegations are probably true, and survivors don’t bring their past experiences to the public eye unless they feel like they have to, many times to prevent someone from gaining more power. Also, strength in numbers. If one person speaks up, another will likely follow because they feel less afraid to do so.

There have been instances in my life where there’s been a “maybe.” A maybe he sexually assaulted someone, or maybe she sexually assaulted someone. And this happened with friends or people I thought knew better, and it broke my heart and my trust in them to think they were capable of something like that. Even if no one knows for sure what happened, the “maybe” means so much. It means you need to hold the people around them accountable, not just the person who “might have” done something unthinkable, but the people around him/her who also question that same thing, yet continue to be friends with them without any issues.

There is innocent until proven guilty, but I think many of us can agree that our judicial system is broken, and that many “innocent” people have gotten away with crimes they shouldn’t have. Instead of questioning survivors, question the person they are accusing. Not everything is as it seems.

This topic is a little out of the ordinary of what I usually post, but this is something that is very important to me. No one should ever feel violated. No one should ever have to deal with something as damaging as sexual assault. I try to stay away from serious issues on my blog as to not alienate readers, but we need to talk about topics like this more and be kinder to survivors, because the negative things I see on social media that are directed toward sexual assault survivors is truly appalling and disheartening, especially when you see it from someone who is supposed to be leading our country.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/28/start-taking-sexual-assault-survivors-seriously/feed/0IMG_1429jspang24gmailcomblog signature pink2Growing Up With Anxietyhttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/25/growing-up-with-anxiety/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/25/growing-up-with-anxiety/#commentsTue, 25 Sep 2018 16:00:56 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3714I used to think that being anxious was just a part of my personality, that it was a flaw in who I was and I would never be able to get away from it. I thought I would eventually grow out of it, but it never happened.

It wasn’t until I came to college that I realized anxiety was a real mental illness. I’ve had anxiety since I was really young, maybe eight or nine. When I learned more about anxiety and anxiety attacks, it was like I woke up and realized that so much of what I felt was because of anxiety and that it was normal. Growing up, I placed a lot of blame on my lack of confidence and negative thoughts. While it’s close to the truth (my self-esteem wasn’t very high in high school), so much of that stemmed from my anxious brain.

Learning more about anxiety helped me start to recognize the signs of it, ones that I had never realized came from being anxious. For example, not being able to stop thinking or obsessing over one thing, or thinking back on something I said or did over and over again, feeling guilty about it. How my throat closes up and it becomes hard to breathe when I can’t stop thinking about how I’m not doing enough. How sometimes I feel like I can’t speak.

I have generalized anxiety disorder. I’m sure I’ve had this almost my whole life, but it’s okay. I know how to deal with it so much better now because I understand more of what means for me, why I feel the way I do. Learning more about mental illnesses made me so much more aware of what I feel and why, and what others feel and why they sometimes act the way they do.

My confidence has grown considerably and I like to think that my ten-year-old self would be extremely proud of who I’ve become and what I’ve become, even the smallest fears like calling people on the phone and introducing myself to people. Giving a name to the nonstop thoughts and worries has also made me more confident, and I’ve taught myself to try and shut down any negative thoughts, especially ones that have to do with my abilities or how I look.

In the past three years, I changed a lot. Every year has been such a different time of growth, and I will always be thankful for that. I can’t wait to see how I conquer any fears I have left.

If you think you’re showing signs of struggling mentally, research it. Go to a therapist and talk about what you’re thinking and feeling and listen to what they say. Knowing more means being more in control.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/25/growing-up-with-anxiety/feed/2IMG_1418jspang24gmailcomblog signature pink2Things That Bother Mehttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/20/things-that-bother-me/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/20/things-that-bother-me/#respondThu, 20 Sep 2018 20:41:05 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3709It’s been a while since I’ve written anything for this blog, and to try and get my creativity flowing again, I decided to start with this, just an unbroken flow of words where I can take stress and frustration out.

What bothers me is when I can’t get to my laptop and write what I want to, for how long as I want, and when my creativity fails me for the millionth time. I hate when anyone thinks they’re better than me and shows it, even when I know they are. It bothers me when my friends tell me I can’t do something instead of just supporting me, and it confuses me because why would they try so hard to convince me that I’m not enough for a certain career path. What annoys me is when someone mentions how much food I’ve eaten, or how fast I ate it, and when people stand in the middle of a busy crowd trying to walk by, making everyone’s life harder.

What frustrates me beyond belief is that men are always believed, and everyone questions women. I hate the awful men out there think women are here to please them, that they can do whatever they want without consequences. I hate sexism, misogyny and the looks men give that makes women feel uncomfortable.

What scares me is how we’re using up the planet’s resources and no one seems to care, and it annoys me when people ask me why I’m a vegetarian just to convince me to eat meat again or tell me why they think it’s stupid. I can’t stand it when people choose to ignore what’s going on in the world instead of learning more about it, and when people make plans with you just to cancel them last minute for no good reason at all.

What bothers me is when people undermine what my opinions or my skills, I don’t like it when someone in power abuses their authority and it annoys me that Im not as good of a writer as I wish I could be. What annoys me are anxious thoughts, that sometimes meetings can take over my life and I don’t have time to hang out with people who actually mean something to me. I’m annoyed that sometimes I still feel uncomfortable in my body, by thoughts that tell me I could do more, that I could look better. I’m frustrated by not making real money and that after graduation, I will probably be broke for years to come because of my student loans. The future keeps me up at night sometimes, and my thoughts feel like this: a rambling, unbroken stream of words that refuse to slow down, that refuse to stop.

What bothers me is that I haven’t been able to keep up with this blog or write my book and finish it.

Sometimes we can’t get certain things out of our heads, and writing is such a therapeutic way of letting out frustration and anger. Sometimes you have to stop worrying about what sounds good and just write and let out what you’re feeling.

Take a deep breath, you have good things ahead.

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/09/20/things-that-bother-me/feed/0IMG_8980jspang24gmailcomSummer Snapshotshttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/08/28/summer-snapshots/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/08/28/summer-snapshots/#respondTue, 28 Aug 2018 21:41:32 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3689Here is a round up of my favorite photos I took this summer!

Organization skills are vital once you get to college, and can be used in all parts of life. Being organized helps prevent over-scheduling in life in general, but it’s also important to have good organization skills in your dorm room.

Especially since dorm rooms are typically small, good storage is important. So I’ve rounded up some efficient ways to keep your dorm organized, and what’s worked well for me so far.

Jewelry holder.I just got this, and I already love it so much. It hangs up in the closet or over a door, and the zippered pockets allows for easy transportation from home to your dorm room. A 10/10 for me.

Storage bins.Storage bins are great, and you’ll probably end up with more than you need. But hey, you can never have enough bins to put stuff in. Storage bins help keep your stuff hidden away, keeping your room looking clean and organized, even if the inside of your bins are bursting with chaos.

Closet storage.I’ve had this all throughout college, and it’s come in handy every year. It’s perfect for folded sweaters and other shirts. It allows for a little extra room in your closet, which you’ll probably need.

Drawer storage.I like to keep things in my drawers nice and separated, and I use a combination of differently sized plastic bins in my desk and dresser drawers to keep my things easy to find.

Storage cart.These are fairly small and easy to put in tight spaces, and provide easy access to things like books, pens or anything else you use frequently.

I hope this list helps you with any last minute college things you need!

]]>https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/08/21/keeping-your-college-dorm-organized/feed/0IMG_2080jspang24gmailcomKeeping your college dorm organizedScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.36.08 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.39.50 PMScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.37.57 PMScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.44.02 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.47.16 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-08-08 at 1.57.21 PM.pngblog signature pink2Reflecting on This Summerhttps://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/08/17/reflecting-on-this-summer/
https://girlinpursuitblog.com/2018/08/17/reflecting-on-this-summer/#respondFri, 17 Aug 2018 16:00:17 +0000http://girlinpursuitblog.com/?p=3683Looking back, this summer has been a good one. It was definitely a learning experience, where I found out more about myself and what’s important to me, as well as learning what I need to improve on.

First, this summer helped me learn more about being a *real* adult. I bought my first car, and going through all of the paperwork was dizzying but also helpful, especially with my dad by my side to help explain all of it. It felt like buying my freedom to go wherever I want, which will be especially helpful at school.

I also had a full-time reporting internship, which definitely helped me become a better writer, a lot of times just by reading the edits the copy editors made on my stories.

Speaking of writing, I was able to work on my novel a lot, but this also led to endless frustration and getting stuck at certain parts throughout it. I give published authors so much credit, writing books is so hard and time-consuming. It’s easy to go from “wow my ideas are great” to “wow, I really suck at this.” Sometimes I feel like I need a huge sheet of paper just to plot everything out.

I traveled out of the country to somewhere new (Cancun, Mexico) and road tripped to a new place (Nashville, Tennessee), which was a ton of fun. That makes three countries I’ve visited so far this year, and traveling this much has just made me keep wanting to do it, but we’ll see how that goes once I have more bills to pay for a year from now.

A lot of self reflection has been going on this summer. I’ve been anxious from time to time, and money is starting to become a more stressful part of my life, especially seeing how soon I will be paying my student loans off, and how I will be looking for a real job this next year.

I’ve been trying to let go of things in the past, especially really small stuff that don’t matter anymore. My mom told me recently that I have a hard time letting go of things, which is so true, especially when I feel like somebody has “wronged” me in some way. I’ve been trying to let the past be the past, and after talking to two of my close friends recently about things that still bother me from years ago, I felt like maybe it’s finally time to let this stuff go and leave it in the past where it belongs.

I’ve also been catching myself being more critical of others, and I have to remind myself to keep an open heart and mind, especially when others have different ways of how they see the world and how they want their lives to turn out. I’ve always been a big believer of just letting people do what they want as long as it’s not harming anyone else, and I need to start reminding myself of that again.

My goals for my senior year of college include:

posting more of what makes me happy on Instagram and not what I think other people would want