Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.
Prov 3: 13-18

Friday, September 23, 2011

5 Ways to Get Your Parents Off Your Back

#2 Clean Up Your Mess!

Photo by Erin Willis

So one of our favorite sayings as expert justifiers
(convincing ourselves and others that the wrong things we do are really okay)
is this: “No one’s perfect.” It’s a fantastic statement mostly because it’s
true. I mean who can argue with that? There is no one past, present, or future
who’s perfect. So you think: How can my parents give me such a hard time for
one mistake? I mean really, I know for a fact they did the same thing when they
were my age…Grandma told me. So why does it matter so much that I didn’t clean
my room, or that I bombed one test, or that I was ONLY ten minutes late getting
home? What’s the big deal?

Let me
fill you in on a well-known but much despised fact. The way you handle small
situations is an indication of how you’ll handle big ones. No, failing to clean
your room isn’t the end of the world. But how about a room that is in a
constant state of disaster? What does that tell your parents? I can speak to
this one from personal experience. I believe there may still be a lingering
odor in my room at my parents’ house from the Easter eggs I forgot were in the
bottom of my closet when I was about ten. Not to mention the peanut butter
sandwiches, clothing, sweaty volleyball shoes, and books scattered everywhere.
It wasn’t pretty. And to this day, my parents take great satisfaction in
reminding me of how messy I was. And I still struggle with organization and
cleanliness…just take a peek into my car.

It’s
easy for me to say, “No one’s perfect.” I have other areas of my life where I
excel, and this is just the way God made me. I am organizationally challenged.
I’m messy.

But
think about what you’re really communicating to your parents. You’re telling
them that you’re messy, that you’re still a kid, and that you don’t take
yourself seriously. Now, maybe you’ve got it together in other areas of your
life. I was a very good student, good athlete, had a job, and I stayed out of
trouble. So having a messy room didn’t affect things too much when I was a
teenager. (It certainly does now, but that’s a whole other article)

The
question is, what’s your “messy room?” In what area of your life are you
unorganized and sloppy? What could you do to send a message to your parents
that you’re growing up, you take your responsibilities seriously, and you can
be trusted in larger things? Maybe it’s your grades. Maybe it’s your attitude
when they tell you to do something you don’t want to do. Maybe you’ve been
dishonest about your social life.

Think about it. If you can put
forth the effort to be more responsible in a small area of your life, you have
something to show them, something that says you can be responsible. You can be
trusted. And once you can be trusted, you’ll hear the beautiful sound of the
word “Yes!” Of course you’re not perfect. Your parents know that, and don’t
expect you to be. Just show them you can clean up your messes.
So what "mess" can you start with in your life?