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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Best lunch walk ever

My work girlfriend, Monica and I go for long walks down Queen to Bathurst and back to Queen and John daily.

Today's walk was epic.

1) I bought a hot sweater today at Lavish and Squalor. I am a boy I thought, I will just take off my sweater in the middle of the store and try it on. Off came my sweater also taking my undershirt only to get stuck on my large head. There I was in the middle of the store completely topless shirts stuck over my head, arms flailing. Only for Monica to draw attention through cat calls. A store clerk came over while I was still topless to say "You know we have change rooms. A few minutes later I corrected the public boobage and tried on the sweater. So good. And for the 2nd time in a row small fit me best. Working out has done good things. I have lost inches but not weight. You'll see the sweater briefly at my bday party when I remove it to dance only for me to forget where I put it.

2) At an intersection this lady quickly turned towards very closely to sneeze. I yelped and ran. Then she sneezed on Monica. Monica said as we kept on walking "Ahhhh! That almost went in my mouth, I feel it on my face." Only for the lady to say "Oh, I am sorry." I laughed all the way back to work, hard and loud. I stopped laughing at HR. We do not laugh in HR. I immediate started again once clearing HR. I actually had to pause to laugh again while typing this. I love how I can remember things that make me laugh and laugh just as hard hours, days, months later.

3) I got to see James Robinson in passing. Considering I snubbed him by accident last time. I like how he yells "Maarrrkkky Craig!" when he sees me.

4) We saw this hot mess, bleached blonde, botox face Jersey Shore girl in a parked fancy SVU. The car was packed with pink Holt Renfrew bags and a little white dog, of course. Her face was messed. Huge lips, gross long finger nails and no ability to move her face at all. It was gross. I said "Could you imagine waking up to that every morning. Ewwww." Monica said "Some guy is paying a lot of money to make her look that way." We both vomitted, laughed and carried on.

About Me

- Tall Drink of Water
- Like to see people fall
- Talk like Napoleon Dynamite
- Likes Giving people nicknames
- My laugh is legendary but not always in a good way. Think Eddie Murphy but louder and for 20 minutes. Most people like it, some people who wear hats do not. They get nicknames!
- Generally Awkward / Socially Retarded
- Sassy, Spunky and of course sexy (can I get a what what)
- Like Schedules and Structure
- Often late
- Clumsy/ Uncoordinated
- Doesn't do well in high stress circumstances
- Enjoy Fun people and fun times
- Thats enough / I'm tired of typing