Ohio's new concealed-carry law will take effect tomorrow, allowing Second Amendment lovers the opportunity to reach into their pocket and feel the cold, smooth feel of safety while enjoying a non-alcoholic beverage at a bar or restaurant in Ohio. Seriously, y'all better not be drinking or the liberals will tell on you before you can get buzzed enough to go outside and fire a couple of funny shots up into the air.

It’s Opening Day today, which means it’s time for a
citywide celebration of the Cincinnati Reds and baseball. At the City Council meeting
last week, Mayor Mark Mallory declared today a local holiday, so if you
need an excuse to sneak in a few beers while watching the parade at
work, say the mayor made you do it.

The Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles will allow the children
of illegal immigrants who qualify for Deferred Action for Childhood
Arrivals (DACA) to obtain driver’s licenses.
DACA was signed by President Barack Obama to give recipients the
opportunity to remain in the country legally without fear of
prosecution, but until Friday, the BMV wasn’t sure that qualified
recipients for driver’s licenses.

Democratic mayoral candidate John Cranley proposed his budget plan
Thursday that he says will avoid layoffs and the city’s plan to lease
its parking assets to the Port of Greater Cincinnati Development
Authority, but critics say the plan is unworkable and some of its
revenue sources are “fantasy.” Cranley’s proposal calls for $21 million
in casino revenue that Horseshoe Casino General Manager Kevin Kline
previously said will be available to City Council, but Jon Harmon,
legislative director for Councilman Chris Seelbach, says the number is
using an outdated model and the city’s estimate of $10 million is more
in line with recent turn of events. The budget proposal also claims to
make its cuts and raise revenue without layoffs, but even Cranley was
uncertain about whether that’s possible.

Opponents of the city’s parking plan say they’ve gathered more than 10,000 signatures
— more than the 8,500 required — but the signatures still need to be
verified before the plan is placed on the ballot. Last week, the
mayor told Cincinnati residents
to not sign the petition because he says it will force the city to make
budget cuts and layoffs. A ruling from Hamilton County Judge Robert
Winkler opened the parking plan to referendum by essentially striking
down the city’s use of emergency clauses.

Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine is backing a wider religious exemption
for contraceptive coverage in health plans. As part of Obamacare,
health insurance plans are required to provide contraceptive coverage — a
measure that may save insurance companies money by preventing expensive pregnancies,
according to some estimates. But DeWine and 12 other Republican state attorney generals argue the mandate infringes on religious liberty.

It’s not just charter schools that do poorly under the state’s new report card system; most urban schools would flunk too.
An analysis by StateImpact Ohio found urban schools actually perform
worse in some areas, supporting arguments from charter school advocates
that the report cards’ harsh grades show a demographic problem in urban areas, not a
lack of quality in education. An analysis of old data by CityBeat in 2012 found Cincinnati Public Schools would fall under the new system.

A new study found bedbugs are afflicting less Cincinnati residents
— suggesting the reversal of a trend that has haunted local homeowners
for years. In the past few years, Cincinnati was marked as one of the
worst cities for bedbugs around the country.

The Ohio Elections Committee dismissed a complaint against COAST for allegedly making false tweets about Issue 48, but it was only because the complaint, filed by pro-streetcar group Cincinnatians for Progress, improperly named a COAST political action as a defendant or something. Streetcar advocates say they'll refile the complaint, and COAST lawyer Chris Finney says he'll win again. (“HAHAHA!”)

City Council conservatives made Mayor Mallory real mad yesterday, blocking his appointment of Councilwoman Laure Quinlivan to the Hamilton County Transportation Improvement District. An initial vote actually allowed the appointment until appointed Republican Councilman Wayne Lippert heard that the other Republicans and Chris Bortz voted against it for various trivial reasons. Lippert asked for a re-vote and swung it the other way.

Mallory reportedly called out the conservatives, referring to them as "extremely unprofessional" and "horribly non-functional." According to The Enquirer, the normally even-tempered Mallory responded to their suggestions that they'd like to see someone else receive the appointment by saying, "that person's not getting appointed” and later adding, "I appoint a lot of people to a lot of things. And this will be remembered."

Covington City Commissioner Steve Frank is getting a little bit of local coverage after posting the following to his Facebook account on Sunday: “Turn out the lights on the Occupiers, I feel like going Taliban on them!!!” Frank yesterday explained in a grammatically challenged response the wildly circular logic behind his statement: “The taliban, through there (sic) eyes are resisting occupation. I'm resisting the Occupiers. I figured that the irony would be lost on most of the dummies in Occupation Nation that oppose the war because they see us as occupiers. I happen to oppose the war too but for highly different grounds.”

Former Bengal Carson Palmer was freed by the team yesterday when it traded him to the Oakland Raiders for two draft picks. Palmer had threatened to retire his he wasn't traded, and the Bengals secured a considerable package of picks in return: the Raiders' first-round pick next year and either a first- or second-round pick in 2013, depending on the team's performance with Palmer.

CityBeat's Halloween beat writer Jeff Beyer wrote a tale of horror and redemption for this week's issue, which just so happens to involve a once-cherished hero (Palmer) returning to wreak havoc on the city for confining him: The Pantom of Paul Brown Stadium: a Love Story.