Trying to find myself

It seems lately for the past couple of years since I was in High School taking some time off from it and obtaining my G.E.D. I've been in a rut. I have not been happy, not my normal cheerful self, depressed a little bit and not really making much friends or hanging out with the ones I know.

Working in and out of retail stores. Mostly supermarkets which suck by the way. The stores are really run completely backwards. Getting yelled at for stupid things and on top of that lots of stress for very little money.

I have been feeling like my abilities have not been tested one bit. I need a challenge. I've been stressing out alot, my twin sister who is the same age as I moved out and I'm still here stuck, wishing I had a place of my own.

I realized that I could not do this with the job that working at now. I registered and got accepted to the local community college. Being 24 I feel completely awkward as most kids my age have graduated already.

Being a Freshman in college i'm hoping to find myself and a job that im interested in hopefully. My associates is Laser Fiber Optic Technology with a bachelors of Civil Engineering I love it so far even though the math is super hard.

Being in college hopefully will allow me to find myself and be in a position to be on my own soon! I look forward to it. Its currently a little difficult with my ADHD but i'm thankfully getting help from an adviser. who is helping me get more organized and focused. Its hard for me because I stopped taking my medication willfully because i don't like the way I feel on them. My focus does suffer in class though.

Been going to school monday-friday and work everyday with one day off. its been causing alot of stress along with the O.A.B. with that adding extra stress but hopefully all the tears and effort pays off!

Comments

It's never too late to get started on your future. My son, who is now 28, has really just begun revving his up in the last year or so. Due to a plethora of emotional and mental issues that stood in his way, he began to shut down some time in high school, barely graduated despite far above average intelligence, and has been languishing ever since. He has, with his partner, worked in several jobs and lived in various places for short periods of time, but they've always ended up back in my basement, unemployed and depressed and broken. On top of all of that, his partner two years ago was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer, forcing both of them to face a very adult present and future that they had never imagined before.

Ironically, it was probably that cancer that shifted all of the gears for him, realigning those parts of his life that had been in turmoil for so long. Seeing the need for focus and responsibility, he found a full time position with enough flexibility to allow him to take care of his partner. He also enrolled in course at the community college, returning to education for the first time in over seven years with a sense of enthusiasm about it and a dream for his future. It is difficult for him (for them both) but he is trying for the first time in I don't know how long, and that is such a glorious sign that I am joyful each time I see it.

Congratulations to you on your commitment to your own future. Remember that it won't be easy--nothing worth anything ever is--but it will be worth the effort.