Tips for Parents: Bullying

Tips for Parents: Bullying

Almost everyone who has
attended a school, public, private or otherwise, has had some experience with
bullying.Bullying behavior can include
physical aggression, threats, teasing, and harassment. Although it can lead to
violence, bullying typically is not categorized with more serious forms of
school violence involving weapons, vandalism, or physical harm.

A bully is
someone who directs physical, verbal, or psychological aggression or harassment
toward others, with the goal of gaining power over or dominating another
individual. Research indicates that bullying is more prevalent in boys
than girls, though this difference decreases when considering indirect
aggression (such as verbal threats).

A victim is
someone who repeatedly is exposed to aggression from peers in the form of
physical attacks, verbal assaults, or psychological abuse. Victims are more
likely to be boys and to be physically weaker than peers. They may have few
close friends and may display more social and academic difficulties than their
peers.

Facts About Bullying

Between
15% and 30% of students in America
are bullies or victims.

A
recent report from the American Medical Association on a study of over
15,000 6th-10th graders estimates that approximately 3.7 million youths
engage in, and more than 3.2 million are victims of, moderate or serious
bullying each year.

Bullying
is often a factor in more serious forms of school violence.

Membership
in either bully or victim groups is associated with school drop out, poor
psychosocial adjustment, criminal activity and other negative long-term
consequences.

Direct,
physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school
and declines in high school. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, remains
constant. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that younger
students are more likely to be bullied than older students.

Over
two-thirds of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying,
with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent
and ineffective.

Children
are not “born to bully”.Bullying is unacceptable anti-social behavior that is learned
through influences in the environment, e.g., home, school, peer
groups, even the media. As such, it also can be unlearned or, better
yet, prevented.

Why Do Some Children and Adolescents Become Bullies?

Most bullying behavior
develops in response to multiple factors in the environment—at home, school and
within the peer group. There is no one cause of bullying. Common contributing
factors include:

Family factors: The
frequency and severity of bullying is related to the amount of adult
supervision that children receive.Less
supervision and inconsistent discipline can lead to bullying behavior.
Additionally, children who observe parents and siblings exhibiting
bullying behavior, or who are themselves victims, are likely to develop
bullying behaviors. When children receive negative messages or physical
punishment at home, they tend to develop negative self concepts and expectations,
and may therefore attack before they are attacked—bullying others gives
them a sense of power and importance.

School factors: If
school personnel ignore bullying, children can be reinforced for
intimidating others. Bullying also thrives in an environment where
students are more likely to receive negative feedback and negative
attention than in a positive school climate that fosters respect and sets
high standards for interpersonal behavior.

Peer group factors: Children
may interact in a school or neighborhood peer group that advocates,
supports, or promotes bullying behavior. Some children may bully peers in
an effort to “fit in,” even though they may be uncomfortable with the
behavior.

Why Do Some Children and Adolescents Become Victims?

·Victims signal
to others that they are insecure, primarily passive and will not retaliate if
they are attacked. Consequently, bullies often target children who
complain, appear physically or emotionally weak and seek attention from
peers.

·Studies show that victims have a higher
prevalence of overprotective parents or school personnel; as a result, they
often fail to develop their own coping skills.

·Many victims long for approval; even after
being rejected, some continue to make ineffective attempts to interact with the
bullies.

How Can Bullying Lead to Violence?

·Bullies have a
lack of respect for others’ basic human rights; they are more likely to resort
to violence to solve problems without worry of the potential implications.

·Both bullies and victims show higher rates of
fighting than their peers.

·Recent school shootings show how victims’
frustration with bullying can turn into vengeful violence.

What Can Parents Do?

Contact the school’s
psychologist, counselor, or social worker and ask for help around bullying
or victimization concerns. Become involved in school programs to
counteract bullying.

Provide positive feedback to children for appropriate social behaviors and model
interactions that do not include bullying or aggression.

Use alternatives to physical punishment, such as the removal of privileges, as a
consequence for bullying behavior.

Stop bullying behavior
as it is happening and begin working on appropriate social skills early.

Remember, always focus on the observable behavior
when correcting your child, rather than making generalized comments about
the child’s “goodness or badness”.Any child who is told he is bad, mean, no-good,
etc. will feel that way inside.This in turn will increase the likelihood of bullying behavior.

The number one thing we as parents can
do, to prevent our children from becoming bullies themselves, is to
interact with them positively every day.Spending quality time with your children on a daily basis, and
responding consistently to behavioral problems when they arise, gives
children confidence in their own abilities and values.To put it simply, those that are treated
positively, will act positively toward others.

Adapted
from the online article: Bullying: Facts
for Schools and Parents, by Andrea Cohn & Andrea Canter, Ph.D., NCSP National
Association of School Psychologists

More information on this
topic is available on the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)
official website: