Thursday, January 6, 2011

january mode

I'm in it. I'm living it.

First of all, #1 on my list of 2011's goals is kicking my patootie. I did some horrible, torturous and completely unnecessary workout routine with my make-believe xbox trainer (who I've decided to call Jean Claude) and I think he broke me. I would now like one of these:

Please. I beg of you. See how happy she looks? It's because her legs aren't in agonizing pain as she limps up and down the stairs.

Moving on.

January Mode (n): A state of heightened awareness of the clutter around you, which often leads to unrest, nailbiting, twitching and hives. Those around one who is in January Mode are advised to keep their distance.

TELL ME that I'm not the only who goes into freak-out mode when the Christmas decorations come down. It's all stark and bare and you're like, "umm, excuse me...do you see that dust blob behind the bottom left corner of that picture frame on the second shelf from the top?"And Andrew everyone else is like, "Seriously? I've never even noticed that picture frame. Or that shelf."

My list of things to clean/organize is out of control. I'm throwing away things that we need. The other day, after I cleaned out a bunch of drawers and cabinets to make room for our new cookware, I asked Andrew how he liked cooking his pancake in the new pans. He said it was good except he didn't have a spatula to flip it. Whoops.

Note to self: kitchens need spatulas.

But in all of the de-clutterizing and cleaning I've been doing, I can't get it clean enough. I am noticing even the tiniest signs of filth. Baseboards? Grossss. Stairs? Disgusting. Top of the cabinets? Blech. Laundry room floor? I'm going to black out. I can't take it anymore, people. It's too much.

So you know what I did? (You know what he did?) I made an appointment for someone to come and clean my house.

I know. Take a moment.

But it's just the two of you! And you work from home! You have so much time at the house to clean it yourself!

It's nothing I haven't told myself, friends. The Guilt Monster has been whispering that in my ear all week. Don't care, Guilt Monster. It's my house and I do what I want.

So, just this once. For $100. Someone is coming to clean my house. And this is what they're doing. It's like $2.04/item on that list. Would you pay someone $2.04 to wipe down all of the molding, baseboards, cabinets, doors and switch plates? ABSOLUTELY.

I'll have a clean slate to work with and I can stop chewing my arm off. Judge all you want, but I've never been so excited. Maybe I'll do this every January. You've got to have something to look forward to in the bleak midwinter, right?

3
friends said...:

My sister-in-law had my house cleaned for me when I was 8 months pregnant and for a few days I was way more excited about that than the baby -- absolutely the BEST gift ever.So the $100 covers baseboards, cabinets, molding -- what about ceiling fans, shutters and walls? I think I might be falling under this person's spell! Definitely let me know how it goes...And I have to say, I'm relieved to find out that there are other people out there like me, but for your sake, I'm very sorry that you share this illness... ;o)

I've been thinking of doing the same thing, but not because I notice all the nastiness. I'm just afraid other people will. But I have four rooms in my house that could be knocked out in a dedicated Saturday, so...I really can't justify it. I'm so glad you're doing this, though! It'll be super happy!

May I just say, too, that I was reeeeally hoping you'd linked that video? I saw the italicized text and thought Oh please Oh please...