Category Archives: Love and compassion

Have you ever felt attracted to someone in some ways, but not others? Sure you have. We all have. You know, The person you feel relaxed around, whose therapeutic company you crave, which is not necessarily sexual; The person that lights you … Continue reading →

One could say that feelings are always right, especially considering how they often just “happen” despite our best efforts! Sometimes, the context of certain feelings is messed up, yes indeed. You don’t want to burst out laughing when somebody is weeping, talking … Continue reading →

I’ve known many people, including myself, that have a lot of trouble just being themselves. You can get into a lot of unfortunate trouble if you don’t develop a fine-tuned filter. We all know there are certain things you can’t … Continue reading →

We all get to that point with someone sometimes when there’s this big loaded question in the air – one that involves a lot of emotion, and thus potential disappointment. Think “will you marry me?” for example. Sometimes it’s not … Continue reading →

We have words in English for when we become upset at someone else’s enjoyment (jealousy) and for when we delight in being better off than someone else (gloating) and even delighting in another’s misery (schadenfreude) … but what do we … Continue reading →

The following is a verbatim republication of something written by a member of Reddit in response to the question “Have you ever picked up a hitch-hiker?” It won Reddit’s “Comment of the Year” award in 2010 – it’s a beautiful … Continue reading →

This is so damn important! If I ruled the world, “listening” would be as much a part of the school curriculum as mathematics or language or history. It would continue to be a required course in higher education also! It’s … Continue reading →

The people and things that get the most attention are rarely the people and things most deserving of attention. Why are some people’s voices heard more than others? Why is some news heard more than other news that is equally or … Continue reading →

A friend of mine recently told me, “I’m seeing two people. But I never refer to either of them as ‘boyfriend’ … they are always just ‘friend’, both between us and with other people. The minute you give the relationship a label … Continue reading →

A member of my family recently asked me what I wanted for Christmas. It was a beautiful gesture by somebody dear to me who knows me well and knows that I generally appreciate gifts I know about more than surprise … Continue reading →

The world of sex and romance can get really noisy sometimes with all the drama, intended or not, that it often brings. Yes – even with low-drama people. At such times, it can become hard to think. People who know … Continue reading →

As I write this post, the most popular post on my blog these days, by far, is the one about why human beings get jealous. I noticed that a good number of the search terms hitting that post say things … Continue reading →

We tend to ask for help when (a) what we need help with is not a big deal, and (b) when we desperately need help with something, often at times when we should have asked long ago. The fact that … Continue reading →

Envy is a natural feeling of wanting what somebody else has. Jealousy, however, is qualitatively different. Whereas envy simply says, “I want what you have,” jealousy says, “I can’t stand that you have something I don’t,” usually followed up with … Continue reading →

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi There is something about the way much of modern society views love outside of … Continue reading →

When monogamy and polyamory get talked about seriously, lots of assumptions can often pop up. People of one view can get into a mode of thinking that looks down on people that think differently about things.

Pretty much everything we do in life, generally, will at some point involve interaction with somebody else, or many other people. These interactions can be transitory, or they can be longer lasting, and while long-lasting interaction tends to make the … Continue reading →

Over the past year, I felt this weird unease about the way my life was going: it seemed, just a little too much, like I was doing good. Like I was on top, like I was untouchable (or at least … Continue reading →

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading →

Loaded questions are okay to ask as long as they don’t demand an answer right away. When it comes to big decisions in your life, like getting married, such questions should not be approached with an “answer me now” attitude. … Continue reading →

And you can’t hurry anything else that you really want. You can try, but sometimes, it just has to take its time coming. Have you ever felt, at some time in your life, like you want to fast-forward through a … Continue reading →

This is one of those things that you can’t force. When you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready. And nothing that you do or say is going to change that. It’s one of those things for which there is nothing … Continue reading →

Why make money, form friendships, fall in love, suffer people and things you don’t like, and all that jazz? What are we really looking for? The answer to that question is not easy, and it does vary from person to … Continue reading →

Pretty much anywhere you go, men are conceived as the “horndog gender.” Men are viewed as the ones who will always want sex more, who are always quicker to sexualize a relationship, to make things about sex. And this does … Continue reading →

Jealousy is one of those demons that just seems to take everything over when it is felt – even when you know on the inside that your jealousy doesn’t make sense somehow, it often still rips through and takes you … Continue reading →

Oh, it’s a powerful feeling. It affects all the senses, one’s preferences, one’s decision-making, one’s desires … EVERYTHING. And then, it’s gone. You’re not in love anymore! After a while, things return to normal, and you look back and see … Continue reading →

Those who see the infinite value of human connection and focus more and more on it start noticing something: empathy is everywhere. Or, at the very least, it is needed everywhere. So often, the first basic underpinning to doing anything meaningful involving another … Continue reading →

Underlying many of our greatest fears in life is the feeling that we will be abandoned, left out. That there won’t be enough of something left for us, and our needs will be forgotten. We’ll get trampled or left behind, … Continue reading →

When you look back on situations of conflict, so many awful things seem to happen solely because of some kind of misunderstanding. Especially between friends and loved ones – people close to you – the stakes are higher because of … Continue reading →

Now – if you’re totally enjoying your holidays… GREAT! Flush this post from your mind, please, and continue enjoying yourself. I don’t want to get in the way of that. But if this rings a bell, please keep reading. We are … Continue reading →

Recently, I spent some time with somebody dear to me. Unfortunately, she wasn’t completely available to hang out – she had to do a few Internet-related chores, and asked me if it was ok that our hang-out time be interrupted … Continue reading →

Have you ever wanted to have sex that is both not too attached and at the same time not completely detached, either? You know, something that doesn’t make great promises about tomorrow, next week, and next year, but still fully … Continue reading →

There was an older woman in the bar, must have been possibly between 60 and 70 years old… who was smiling, kind of minding her own business, doing her thing… except that she was getting a lot of staring attention … Continue reading →

I give out a whole lot of advice here on this blog. I started this blog because I was giving out a whole lot of advice and perspective to a number of my friends, and realized that I was telling … Continue reading →

There’s a 7 foot / 2.2 meter tall guy, a person with a marked skin condition that stands out as “not normal,” a porn actress, someone who stutters, and a disabled person who moves using a wheelchair. What do they … Continue reading →

It is often said that when you find someone that you really click well with, you’ll have the “honeymoon” period, when you’re in love and feel this deep desire – and then, after a while, it all fades out, and … Continue reading →

by ~laylapersia (original post here) . The scars on my wrist represent pain; hurt which I wear just beneath my sleeve. . Also on my heart. Hidden, yet no less intense. . Moreso, for all the scars which we wear … Continue reading →

In fact, it’s totally, completely necessary. You are the only person you have to live with every second of your life! If you aren’t self-centered, how can you be centered? There are a lot of myths out there about how … Continue reading →

Have you ever had a relationship with someone that was always threatened by tit-for-tat “negotiations” over small things? You know, like “we ate at the restaurant you wanted to go to last time. Now it’s my turn.” Stuff like this … Continue reading →

The questions are always flying around: “what can I do to spice up my lovelife a bit?” Whether it’s on a date, in bed, living together, spending some time apart, it seems that some folks are better lovers than others. … Continue reading →

Unfortunately, it’s even rarer. A few days ago I went to the family court in my area for a case that was pulled last of all, which meant I got to observe the other cases. Among these others were a … Continue reading →

Bad consequences/outcome? Yes, HORRIBLE. But not for bad intentions. No bad intentions here. Only good ones. What is a “bad intention?” And why in the world is it so important whether mass murderers have good or bad intentions? Because the … Continue reading →

One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading →

One of the best ways to respect somebody is to honor how they self-define. For example, somebody who looks to you like a man wishes to be addressed as “she” and referred to as a woman. The right thing to … Continue reading →

Somebody on Reddit posted that she needed something that would help her to cry, and asked for others to post videos, pictures, stories, and other media that have made them cry. I clicked some of the links, took a look … Continue reading →

Pride is a powerful motivator, and we often think that apologizing is humiliating. So we qualify our apologies with “if” and other riders: “I’m sorry if what I said offended you.” “I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong … Continue reading →

We often get caught up in a cycle of threats; I feel threatened by somebody, so I harden up and put out “don’t fuck with me” signals. The other person gets intimidated on their end, and they do the same. … Continue reading →

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading →

I just wrote the following to a friend of mine – a little venting for my soul: =================== My loneliness is not a desperate one. I’m just aware of it and know that I’ll be better off expressing it. I’ve … Continue reading →