Self-Esteem

It is never too late to be what you might have been – George Eliot

Lacking self-esteem or maybe too much?

Your self-esteem shapes how you feel about yourself, whether positive or negative. Low self-esteem is when you have negative feelings about yourself causing you to lack self-worth and feel dissatisfied with life. If a person has more positive feelings about themselves their self-esteem is often higher and they are likely to feel more confident about themselves.

However, some may have extremely high personal regard and come across in a narcissistic way. This can cause difficulties in personal relationships and be highly demanding for other people to be around. Extreme highs and lows of self-esteem can cause damage to ourselves and our relationships, so a balance somewhere in the middle is ideal.

Where does our self-worth stem from?

Our self-esteem develops from birth through our relationships with others and it can change over time through different relational experiences. Children who are understood and valued experience a secure feeling that they are worthy of love and attention.

Sometimes during our childhood, we encounter difficult relationships, whether parents, siblings, teachers or peers, where we feel insecure and unloved. This may become reflected in how we value ourselves later in life.

In a similar way, once an adult, our experiences in relationship to others often affects how we feel about ourselves. Challenging life events, such as bereavement, trauma or troubled relationships can impact and lower our self-esteem, even if originally we felt secure and confident.

How can counselling help build self-esteem?

My counselling approach to tackle self-esteem issues provides acceptance and empathy where you can explore any of your negative feelings without fear of judgement. Our therapeutic relationship gives you the space to question your beliefs about yourself, building your awareness and self-understanding.

My genuine approach and compassionate attitude, combined with my experience as a counsellor, allow you to start to understand yourself more fully. This understanding encourages you to be kind to yourself, whilst learning to be more realistic and enabling your self-worth to grow.

It can take time and effort to improve your self-esteem and this can be daunting at first. However, it is worthwhile to seek help and work through your issues with an experienced therapist. This will enable you to build self-respect and your life will soon become more content and balanced.