This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

At first glance, comedian Andrew Kennedy looks whiter than the most suburban-bred WASP. But that's just his British half. The Colombian-born comic spent a good deal of his childhood scuttling across the globe with his nomadic parents. He's got plenty of experience flying on planes and passing through customs; that means no predictable post-9/11 jokes about airport security and being afraid of Arabs. Kennedy's broad appeal has made him an equal candidate for Comedy Central, Telemundo, and even BET. Word on the street is that CBS picked up the pilot for Kennedy's sitcom, Related by Marriage. You do remember what a sitcom is, right? Kennedy performs Thursday through Sunday at the Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theatre (5700 Seminole Way, Hollywood). Tickets cost $12.72 to $15.90. Call 954-981-5653. (JB)

FRI 22

New Times freelancer Tim Hammill points out that the breakup of the Backstreet Boys could be responsible for the fracturing of American society. Hammill writes on his weblog (http://timztake.blogspot.com), "While the Boys were gone, nobody was able to step up to the plate and say 'We suck too, hate us.' I mean, Osama Bin Laden sort of did, but he doesn't get the kind of air time these douchebags were getting... As much as we hated these tools, we needed them. They brought us all together. They made us want to hate them and they did a really good fucking job. Then AJ went and hit the proverbial wall that is addiction and everything fell apart. Thanks, AJ, thanks a lot. The shitty divided country I live in now is a result of you getting your face of far-too-well-shaped facial hair into the drugs and alcohol that have ruined many a TALENTED musician. If he had talent, he wouldn't have ended up in rehab; he would be dead. But that's just our luck." Well, the boys are back together, and we can all reunite under the BSB flag at Sound Advice Amphitheatre (601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach ) at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $20 to $59.50. Visit www.ticketmaster.com. (DF)

SAT 23

If you were planning on seeing The Aristocrats at an AMC theatre next month, well, as Dom Irrera would say, Fuhgeddaboudit! Irrera is one of the film's 100-plus comics who retell the same joke -- one that's dirtier than anything the suits at AMC will touch. So if you want to know what all the filth and the fury's about, then go straight to the horse's mouth as Irrera paints the stage blue at the Palm Beach Improv at CityPlace (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach). Though, aside from The Aristocrats, Irrera's other recent movie roles have been less characteristic of the loose-lipped comic: a heckler at a comedy show (2004's Behind the Smile) and the voice of an animated dog (the forthcoming Barnyard). So what is the "dirtiest joke ever told"? You might just hear it as Irrera performs Thursday through Sunday. Tickets cost $23.43. Call 561-833-1812, or visit www.palmbeachimprov.com. (JB)

SUN 24

"Guess what? There's a good way to exercise that's fun and puts a smile on your face," says Page Parker, owner of the Ballroom Fitness dance studio (1350 N. State Rd. 7, Margate), which opened two weeks ago. "My wife and I were overweight ourselves," he says. "We found that the most fun we had [while working out] was taking dance classes. We've made it affordable. At traditional studios, you can spend thousands of dollars a year. Only like 20 percent of the population could afford that." At Ballroom Fitness, you can either pay $8 a class or get a gym-style membership for $99 down and $50 a month. In that case, you can take unlimited classes; the studio offers two to six of them a day, in genres from waltz to swing to merengue. Start by checking out "Mambo Mania" at 3 p.m. A "Latin Dance Party" starts at 4:30. No partner is needed (students rotate). Call 954-977-0777. (DF)

MON 25

Are you still mad at your parents because you weren't born into high society? Because you never had a debutante ball? Because you missed out on riding lessons and afternoon teas? Alas, you will be well on your way to the pages of Palm Beach Society magazine if you start your charitable work now, with a new group of do-gooders who help out the Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens. Rather than ladies who lunch, these are young professionals (ages 20 to 40) who eat sushi and sip sake! The new group is called Taishi (which means "ambassador" in Japanese). Help plan "friend-raising" and fundraising activities, help find volunteers for the museum, and help create leadership roles for young adults. A coming-out party for Taishi takes place at Bong (Sushi? Sake? Bong? How cool is this?), an Asian-fusion restaurant (105 E. Palmetto Park Rd., Boca Raton) from 6 to 8 p.m. For $15, you get hors d'oeuvres and two complimentary drinks. To RSVP, call 561-495-0233, ext 310. (DF)

TUE 26

Before Google put every half-existing rock group at our fingertips, bands had a tougher time finding out if their name was already taken. But as the Brit punk band G.B.H. discovered, there's only one way around this problem: longevity. When Grievous Bodily Harm emerged in 1979 -- leading the way for punk's sped-up second wave -- the Birmingham-based foursome learned there was also a G.B.H. from London. So the punkers added the prefix "Charged" to its name to prevent any, uh, grievous legal harm. And by the mid '80s, their London counterparts had disappeared, and so did the awkward prefix. With two live DVDs available and a third on the way (as well as countless album reissues), G.B.H. is as charged as ever. Maybe if you Google around, you'll find out what happened to those blokes from London. G.B.H. performs tonight at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). Doors open at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $15. Call 954-564-1074. (JB)

WED 27

It may have taken John Hiatt several albums to come into his own, but damned if it wasn't worth the wait. With 1979's Slug Line, Hiatt got his first taste of critical acclaim, albeit in the form of comparisons to the pub-rock-cum-new-wave Holy Trinity -- Elvis Costello, Graham Parker, and Joe Jackson. Twenty-six years later, Hiatt's Master of Disaster shows us a songwriter who has been around enough to know which roads to avoid. There's no unnecessary, contrived experimentation; it's pure songwriting. Hiatt has long been revered by musicians from Bob Dylan to Iggy Pop, but commercial success for Hiatt has remained a dangling carrot. Hiatt joins the Mississippi All Stars (see article in the Music section) tonight at Revolution (200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $30. Call 954-727-0950, or visit www.jointherevolution.net. (JB)

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