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Friday, September 17, 2010

Godwin’s Law, Pope Loses Debate

As a former Catholic, I can tell you this: no Catholic listens to everything the Pope says like a non-Catholic. Maybe it’s different in poor countries, but affluent Catholics pay about as much attention to the Pope as they do a spot on the wall behind their TV.

So imagine my shock when Catholics weren’t up in arms about the piping hot batch of Poperrific insanery cooked up in England this week. I’m sure the first time most of them hear about it is when a non-Catholic asks them what they think about it, to which most will say, “About that business we should be doing…”

So Benedict (who’s been a dick for a while now) compared secularism and atheism with Nazism. Maybe my time on the internet has jaded me and I just don’t even flinch at such a gross misrepresentation of Nazism. Those brave Aryans believed in God, “Gott Mit Uns,” “God is With Us.” It would be insulting to claim they were atheists, after all the devotion they displayed in glorious combat under the Iron Cross!

Then again, Benedict was in the Hitler Youth, so he might be privy to something we aren’t. Maybe the Pope saw Nazis as secret atheists who used religion to lure the naïve faithful into a veiled war on religion itself. And maybe 9/11 was done by Nazis inside the US who own the oil companies.

What would make the Pope want to say something outrageous? Perhaps he’s trying to distract people from what’s really dogging him, and make the debate about some other group that isn’t the Catholic Church? But what could be so horrible… oh right, the child sodomy.

BUT I ALSO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE POPE!!! I want him to wear a NAZI uniform with he fucks me in the ass! Those NAZIS believed in GOD!!!

I am so confused.

This is my final warning. Somebody be my friend, or this will go on forever.

I am so confused.

KABOOBIES! GOD I LOVE THEM! BIG ONES, SMALL ONES. I JUST LOVE TO WATCH THEM. I THINK OF BOOBIES ALL DAY.

I am so confused.

I have not been myself lately. Jesus has stopped listening to me.

I am so confused.

He told me in a revelation. "Stop bugging me with your petty complaints about atheists! Why don't your just make friends with them. Now be gone." Jesus was angry. Then I said "Oh Lord, Oh Lord! Why have you forsaken me?" Then nothingness. He was gone.

I am so confused.

I love you guys! I really do. I have no friends. Can you please just talk to me? Its just me up here in Montreal in a small room with this computer. Oh and some moist towelettes.

Pleeeeeze!

I am so confused.

they thought BOOBIES had no effect... WRONG! BOOBIES CAUSE MASSIVE ERECTIONS AND ERUPTIONS WORLD WIDE!

I am so confused.

This is my final warning. Somebody be my friend, or this will go on forever. AND I MEAN IT!

NOT JUST ANY FRIEND EITHER. I WANT A HOT CHICK, THAT IS WILLING TO SEND ME NAKED PICS OF HER DOING STUFF, LIKE ALL THOSE GIRLS IN MY VIDEOS.

I am so confused.

I love you guys! I really do. I have no friends. Can you please just talk to me? Its just me up here in Montreal in a small room with this computer. Oh and a small tub of Vasoline and a box of Handi Wipes.

I am so confused.

I HAVE MASSIVE ERECTIONS FOR BOOBIES AND CALVIN KLIEN AD MEN. DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY? I HAVE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT THIS FOR QUITE A WHILE.

I am so confused.

SOMETIMES I CAN'T CONTROL MY URGES AND I SPILL SOME SEED. MY GOD HATES ME FOR THIS. I TRY TO HIDE FROM HIM, BUT HE IS ALWAYS WATCHING ME. I THINK JESUS LONGS FOR ME TO BE IN HEAVEN TO SWORD FIGHT WITH HIM.

I am so confused.

This is my final warning. Somebody be my boy toy friend, or this will go on forever.

Fuck the pedophile Pope and the horse he fucked and rode in on. I am quite sure Nazism felt quite comfortable to his Catholic upbringing. You hit the nail on the head. He is like a magician, diverting your attention while pulling off a supernatural "mystery" on a child.

So, DM is a catholic loving pedophile. His agenda is so core to him he must support evil. So much for truth.