I do not know where this term came from, but it is the perfect term for what I used to envision as hippie granola-kinda-crazy-but-always-sweet healing type stuff. I have always loved people who love woo-woo, because let’s face it, they are downright nice people who generally like helping others or at least listening to them. Still, for years, I have strongly identified as non-woo-woo. In fact, I would say I strongly identified as the opposite of woo-woo, which I perceived to be bitchy, kick-ass, step on anyone’s throat with a stiletto if I want, get-shit-done kind of lady.

I am stubborn and kick-ass and I do like a challenge. I’m not easily intimidated and I am confident, but I am not as anti-woo-woo as I once thought. Or maybe I’ve evolved.

The truth about me is I’m really quite gushy inside. I cry at the thought of others’ pain and I can also tear up at the wonder that is the beauty in people and life. I like yoga and puppies and shit and I don’t even own a pair of stilettos. I have no desire to prove anything to anyone anymore. What a fucking relief.

Some of this softening is definitely due to hormones and childbearing and science, but the rest is most certainly due to a respectable quest for more fulfillment and my own definition of happiness in my life, and embracing more woo and woo-bringers. This quest has resulted in shedding a toxic work environment (for me), downsizing a house, making decisions without considering money, and trying all sorts of healing practices like acupuncture (no likey), meditation (still working on it), yoga (love, and still working on it), Body Talk (can’t even explain what that is) and only spending time with folks who not only say they care, but actively show they care (no fakes).

I have replaced so much of what didn’t fulfill me with better people, less stress, more gratitude, feeling free and generally being a nicer, happier person. All via woo-ness and woo-dom and woo-dwellers.

So, as long as it works and you’re not out there killing babies or something, go for it. Embrace the weird and the woo-woo. If you want more official word on this Deepak Chopra totally backs me up in this article.

Also, as a fun aside, when I googled “woo-woo” this really awesome drink recipe came up, which you should also embrace.

Like this:

It was a busy week for the stupid. So busy that I can’t even blog about everything stupid that occurred that I happened upon. Here are a few bullet points in case you haven’t remembered to participate in society or that thing called reading:

Rachel Ray actually had a segment of makeovers (on women) at the American Kennel Club dog show. The judges were confused by all those hot bitches.

Charlie Sheen–enough said.

But the one that makes me want to blog is this article from The NY Daily News about a UK study (tax-payer funded) that found that young couples without children are the happiest. I should also mention that this study cost almost $80M.

For free I will tell you why that’s a no fucking brainer: because young couples without children have no work to do! They are no longer single so they don’t have the physical upkeep and required socializing that single folks have to maintain. And without kids all they have to do is keep a job and not piss off their spouse. Easy peesey.

The cruel irony of life is that these lazy shits don’t even know how good they have it, and they are probably pining away for children.

I also saw a TedTalk recently about the general decline of happiness after having children, which I actually appreciated and recommend you check out. (I should note that the happiness levels go up as your child gets older–so don’t go killing yourself.)

But really, is this surprising to anyone? That having children makes a person generally less happy than their pre-child lifestyle?

I can agree with this–generally speaking. My day to day life is less happy and relaxed as it was pre-Sofia. When before I wanted to have more money, it is now imperative that I plan for the future. Before I might feel stressed, now I feel crushingly overwhelmed. Before I might want a date with my husband, now I just wish we could stay awake for a movie together. Compared to our early days of marriage, my average happiness is lower.

It is hard fucking work to be any kind of a decent parent and there are no breaks.

But I am a better person for it. There is nothing like this challenge that has made me hold myself to higher standards of being, and I will continue to learn more in this process than from any of my degrees or from any of the mentors I will have in my life. And I will get to participate in this other person’s life and development in a way that no one else gets to. I consider myself privileged for it and I love my daughter completely.

My husband’s answer to this was interesting. He said his happiness levels didn’t go down, but he redefined what happiness was. Which is to say he cheated. 🙂

And for only $40M, England, I will tell you why it’s worth it, even if it means giving up your young happy couple life. See how giving I am?

actual phrases spoken to me (or my husband) by my children

Twinkle twinkle little Ellie. I'm a diamond!
Is a tampon like a coupon?
How floppy is your tummy?
I can't wait for my nipples to get bigger and bigger.
The secret ingredient is penis.
You're a cream of wheat.
I'm gonna break my heart for a minute and then give you some.
If I go to jail I'll be sad and cry all day long.
I'm a wild animal.
Red lights are making me craziness.
You guys are the baddest parents ever. (Note: She does not mean Michael Jackson "Bad.")
I'm a filthy monkey.
Make sure you downloaded a rainbow of unicorns.
I want to be an Elf so I can live with Santa.
I like boobs. They're interesting.
I'm playing a game that's too scary for you: it's called dead orphan.
Just look at all the rainbow colors if you want to be happy.
Everyone thinks I'm a teenager since I'm in my booster seat.
Mama, your body is warm and cozy.
[Referring to her ham] Is this real life?
Do you know why my hand is in my butt?
Can I pick something from her [sister's] nose?
Can I fart on my sister?
[On breastfeeding] Your boobs are chubby!
My brain is always on the naughty list.
Mama, you're a genius!
[In response to "what do you want to eat?"] I want to eat something beautiful that I like.
Alex Trevec is so handsome.
That pizza is wild!
America is a jambalaya.
Isn't pooping fun?
[About fireworks] They're magic! They're humongous!
I want to be a grown up. [Why?] So I can get married. [Who do you want to marry?] Myself.
Where's my whiskey?
I am really good at [computer] buttons. And also driving.
Daddy your peanut is yucky! (note: not referring to an actual peanut)
We are girls. ha ha!
It smells like poison!
You are beautiful
If I drink my juice slower, I will have an alien in my tummy.
I just fidget all day long.
Don't recipe me.
You are hurting my life.
Don't touch me. It's my life.
I am not your puppet.
The sky is falling.
I need my chapstick so I can drive better.
Close my window so the monkeys don't get me.
You're my best friend.
I want a baby sister.
I have a baby in my belly.
The monster is eating a taco.
I am freaking out.
[With diaper on head] "Cock-a-Doodle-Doo"
My poop is stuck in my butt.