On the Needles

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Weekend by the Numbers:

42 Hamburger buns munched down24 Eggs served over-easy11 Steaks grilled9 People sleeping in my house5 Naps taken and we’re not talking about the 3-year-olds -- they didn't nap5 Pounds of chicken wings consumed5 Pounds of potatoes baked4 Onions sacrificed for lunch4 Uncles (including a few of the “great” variety and I’m not referring to their status)4 Comments made regarding either A) the need for waders because the BS was getting a little thick or B) the need to install a floor drain in the living room to wash the BS down.3 Pounds of raw baby carrots eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing3 Gallons of milk gulped down2 ½ Pounds of ground beef turned into taverns2 Heads of cauliflower eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing2 Heads of broccoli eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing2Jam sessions with guitar and ukulele2 Rolls of TP flushed (Hello septic system, are you OK?)2 Accidents by the newest potty trainee because she couldn't get into the potty in time1 Pound of cheese of the Co-Jack and Baby Swiss variety consumed1 Can of coffee (don’t ask how many pots the Bunn was asked to provide)1 Door knob, dismantled1 Aunt (also of the great variety)1 Gwampa1 High school-aged cousin and her boyfriend (All of the males said the same thing in their best Mr. Burns impression “Excellent. Fresh meat.”)

To numerous to count:LaughsGroansPots of ice tea made and consumedBeer drunk (I went to bed before much of it was guzzled after I went to bed. I’m guessing Uncle Dan did put much of it away, considering I didn’t see him much on Sunday)

Lessons Learned:

I am my family. My laugh, gestures, sense of humor and in some aspects, my looks, comes from the family. It is obvious that I have passed many of these traits on to my children, since I see them in some of their actions and tone of voice.

Expect the living room to be filled with laughter, maybe a few tears when you say (while standing in the laundry room) “No, you can’t have the screwdriver back. You took the door knob off.”

Expect the uncles to love the story that your almost-2-year-old got kicked out of day care for a day because he bit someone and drew blood.

Expect lots of stories about the horribly embarrassing things that I’ve been credited with over the last 29 years – including several my husband has never heard.

My kitchen works can work as a good buffet set up.

My table can accommodate 12 people sitting around it -- if I can locate that many chairs.