While doing God’s work, which was, making old beer cans into new beer cans, I was helping a co-worker, Rick operate a tension-leveler. He was shaking his head, totally pissed off, and very animated when he said the following: Rick) Can you believe this? I was just talking to X (I don’t remember who X was after […]

Posts Tagged ‘paul simon’

I’ve seen Bob Dylan in concert probably eight times. One time was at Fiddlers Green with G.E. Smith of Saturday Night Live fame in his backing Band. This might have been in the early 1990’s. We were all excited because our ticket stubs said we were to be in the second row. One of my friends had camped out for these tickets. When we got to Fiddlers Green, we found we were in the 9th row as the concert promoter, had placed 7 rows of folding Chairs in front of us. We were pissed at the promoter. The promoter was always claiming in the newspapers to be real tight with the Rolling Stones (mostly Mick and Keith) No fun antidotes about the rest of the band, only the famous members. One story he would often say, to make that association, is how he bought a new pair of boots for Keith Richards, as Keith’s boots were comfortable, but completely worn out. Another antidote, was how he once got to “tuck in” Mick Jagger’s children at bed time. In the anger of being jerked off over this ticket seating, this story about bedtime, now became one where the police were called because the promoter touched Jagger’s children inappropriately. Our version had the police officer asking the children to show them on the “anatomically correct” doll where the promoter had touched them. The child was alleged to have ripped open the stitching on the crotch area, and buried 3 fingers into the doll. Tell that story in the newspapers.

Another time I saw Dylan, was with Paul Simon, at McNichols Arena. I was more excited to see Paul Simon because I had never seen him up until that time. Dylan I had seen quite a few times by then. One of earliest conversations I had with Wade, my soon to be friend, was about Bob Dylan. He found out I had gone to see a recent Dylan show. He wanted to go see the show, but being new to Denver, didn’t know or have anyone to go with. For this Bob Dylan/Paul Simon, Wade had gotten these ticket for us. Even though they cost $75 each, they were really shitty seats on the opposite end of the arena, from the stage, and in the second level. We took separate vehicles to the show and Wade had managed to drink a large number of beers before we met up. I only had drank a couple of beers.

From our seats, we had to look through a rail, down, and somewhat left to see the stage. The people on stage seemed to be about 1/4″ tall. As if this wasn’t bad enough, people would occasionally stop at the rail and block the view of many people in our section. Wade, all of a sudden just threw a full beer and nailed one of these people in the back, dead center. The person turned around to see who did it but had no idea. The crowd was laughing and yelling all kinds of obscenities at them and basically told them to get the fuck out of here. Wade was a hero. Much later in the show, myself and Wade decided to go and “see a man about a horse.” We went to the bathroom and to get more beer. On the way to the bathroom, we passed the beer stand. They were breaking down the beer stand at that point and said they stopped serving beer about 5 minutes before we arrived. We went to the bathroom. We were discussing the beer that Wade threw, when I told Wade, it was a waste of money to buy beer, and then throw it, during crowd control. We both filled our empty glasses with urine and went back to our seats.

We watched the show for a while and then it happened. Two guys, came to the rail, blocking everyone’s view, not even watching the show, and started dancing together. This bullshit faggot dancing, could have been taken place anywhere in the building, as the sound was everywhere, but for some reason we had to watch it. They imposed it on us! Wade lobbed his glass of pee at them. It was an amazing throw. It hit the ground between them and exploded upward like a grenade, and drenched them both. I still have that image in my head of just how amazing that throw was. Wade then ran down to the guys, said something to them, and then returned to his seat as if nothing had happened. The guys left through the porthole. They returned about a minute later with the police. They came up the stairs to me and said that I had to leave. It was clearly misdirected animosity. I knew not to argue with the police, but insisted that I didn’t do anything. We ended up in the porthole. I kept asking the cops to tell me why I had to leave and what did I do wrong? Then one of the Paul Simon Piss Dancers said I threw urine on him. I denied doing it, but was very impressed that he knew it was urine. He must of been peed on before was my thoughts. Just then a girl came through the porthole and announced that she saw the whole thing and that I WAS NOT the one who threw it. I agreed. I told the cops, “See, even she said that I didn’t do anything.” Now the cops were confused and way less confident in their justice. I kept on point, and I even had witnesses. They still made me leave but it was less forceful. Wade and I, met in some parking lot of a liquor store near Regis College. I told Wade, the thing that impressed me the most about this whole event, was the guy could tell it was urine. Wade filled in some details here. After he blasted them, he went down there and told them, “Dude, I just threw piss on you, and returned to his seat.” They should have known that it wasn’t me. Wade couldn’t apologize enough, but he really didn’t owe me any apologies at all. He bought my ticket for the next Dylan show we saw together, which was at CU Event Center. I actually saw almost all of the McNichols show so there wasn’t ever a problem to begin with.

I really had no intention of throwing my urine. I also could not tell the cops that I have proof, I didn’t throw any pee and proudly show them my full glass. I have no problems with urine being thrown. If you think about it, it’s like this:

I want to see a concert, and what I spend for that ticket, determines the market value for the event. That is the reality. It doesn’t end there though. For some reason, the Paul Simon Piss Dancers, think that for me to receive full value for my concert ticket, I am expected to politely take the issue up with them. “Excuse me, you guys are blocking my view, if you don’t mind, could you dance somewhere else, thank you.” Then they generously allow me my full value of my ticket. They rudely just block the view of another person. They look for the path of least resistance. As for the Paul Simon Piss Dancers, I’m sure they are now much better behaved, all because of Wade.