Rejoice, America. happy days are here again! We are experiencing the dawn of a most promising century. Communism is no longer a threat; the Russians aren't coming; and we need no longer fear blasphemous ideologies, or foreign invaders. The Twenty-first Century Publicans are solidly in charge, ready to protect us with a mighty military during this American interregnum. until the advent of Armageddon. Or so we are told!

A new era has descended upon us, indeed: the era of Re-publicanism; an era which is sure to irrevocably determine who amongst us is free. and who will not be.

Two of my friends, small business owners both, are firmly convinced that since the de jure [in law], de facto [in reality] and de furto [in thievery] assumption of the presidency by George W. Bush in 2001, the US has been marching in perfect cadence towards fascism. And, so far, my arguments to change their minds have been unsuccessful.

In our contempt for totalitarianism in any shape or form, we are often eager to try and fit a piece of the puzzle where it doesn't belong. That may be the case with my two entrepreneur-friends [and clients]. After a quick overview of the existing, and corruptly enmeshed, relationships between Big Business, the Pentagon and the White House, one can easily be tempted to readily adopt the seven-letter f-word when referring to the many policies and decisions that come from Washington. A more critical and focused view, however, can demonstrate that such epithet, although deservingly insulting, is inappropriately vested.

If there is overt or covert totalitarianism in our current government, it's certainly not one of the socialist variety; either nationalistic (Fascism); or proletarian (Communism); or any point (ism) in between, for that matter. A more representative term for the political amalgam under which we are now governed would be Captive Capitalism, or perhaps Captive Enterprise, which to me is but the "anti-Christ" of democratic Free Enterprise.

So who are these American Publicans that in a short time have taken over our lives?

Are they to be feared, revered. or taken with a grain of salt? Are they anything like the publicans mentioned in the Bible?

For starters, the American Publicans we have in mind may or may not be pub attendants, and may or may not be serious participants in prayer services. But one thing we can be sure of. these publicans have an infinitely greater role than their predecessors of two millennia ago.

They are more than just "tax farmers" serving the new Cesars; for they are the Cesars. Call them, if you wish, the born-again, or re-born, Publicans. Not only are they the tax collectors of modern times, but the re-distributors of wealth in society; insuring there is unimpeded upward flow of capital to the hyper-rich classes. They have proclaimed themselves to be the holders and sole interpreters of those Tablets of Conservatism: a special caste not to be challenged doctrinally, in either religious or secular practices.

American Publicans are not members of an occupation, but a governing caste divinely chosen, and destined- in their estimation, to rule not only a privileged nation-the United States-but also serve as teachers, judges and protectors of all peoples/nations inhabiting this earth. These are the people of the Second Tone: Re-publicans of the hyphenated kind- the true believers in, and practitioners of, neo-conservatism.

These Re-publicans, who ideologically or through intimidation include countless Democrats, are not to be confused with the un-hyphenated Republicans of the Grand Old Party and, now passé, fiscal conservatism. It's obvious that this latter group has undergone a renewal of faith, and has now sworn allegiance to the neocon creed of unashamed imperialism; except for a few adamant voices now dabbed as schism- condemned to repudiation by the faithful. and eventual extinction.

As I keep telling my two entrepreneur-friends, these folks running things in Washington are not fascists, just reality Monopoly players. no different from the players in the reality TV shows that now fill the airwaves. These Publicans, accumulators of wealth and power, are simply after the lion's share of the wealth we create; and while at it, [and] to keep us in line and docile, they earnestly tax away our freedoms- which they claim to be the tribute we must pay to be safeguarded against omnipresent terrorism.

Neocons, new-born Publicans, Re-publicans. those are all appropriate names for these new centurions of Rome by the Potomac, all priestly servants of Almighty Buck. As a compromise, I'm willing to let my friends call these people embryo-Fascists. if, in turn, I'm allowed to call them by their new baptismal name: Re-publicans.