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Monday, December 27, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Shortly after writing my last blog, I lost all desire to celebrate Christmas, my grandfather's birthday, or anything else that might require me to smile. It was a very rough week last week. I was sad. I was down. I was moving in the direction of depression. This holiday season has been extremely hard for me in many ways. On Thursday, I started begging God to remind me of the joy of the season. I needed Him to teach me that Christmas isn't about me. It's about Him. It's about worshipping the one night that truly changed my life for the better- the night my Savior was born!

We started our Christmas Eve with our church service and sang awesome praise and woship songs. We ended with "Silent Night" and my smile was there. I was happy to be celebrating Christmas with my family. We then headed to my Papa and Momar's house to eat with my Dad's family. The entire way there I prayed. I needed God to show me joy in the moment. You see, I know this is my grandfather's last Christmas and I was already weepy. Who wants to be around someone when they are weepy! We gathered around the bed my Papa spends most of his time in for prayer. My cousin said in his prayer, "these are precious times among us- take heed". It was like Jason was giving advice directly to me- I smiled. I kept praying for God to show me joy.

As we left my grandfather's house, I cried. I took Ryan to his Dad's house and I cried more. We almost went back to my grandfather's house but I just couldn't do it. I was really just ready to be home, in bed, crying. So we headed home. But I started praying again. And God came Near. I felt the hand of God holding my hand. I felt him say, "Come to me those who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Mid day through Christmas day, it started snowing here. As I watched this magical event unroll, my husband said you look happy. I said, "He is showing me joy. He is saying it's all going to be alright." Brian said, "Leslie, God loves you more than I do. God loves you more than Papa does."

You know, Brian is right. God loves me so much that he sent his Son for me. He loves me so much that it snowed for the first time in FOREVER on Christmas. Some would say it was by chance that it snowed. I would say it was by faith. I would say that myself along with some others in the south region of the United States were hurting and God wanted to say, "it's all going to be okay."