Victoria's Victory against A.L.L.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Yesterday, on our way home from the store, Diana (my sister) called. I pulled over and answered the phone, just for her to say that she found a really nice song on youtube and she called, so we hear it, as well. Oh, I love her so. Our Mother instilled this in us, the sharing; any time one of us sees or hears something nice, we have to let the other one know about it, so she enjoys it, too. I remember when we were kids in school, growing up in a Communist Country, we did not have much. And chocolate was one of those things kids did not see very often. So, if one of us would get a square of chocolate at school, we would wrap it in a piece of paper, bring it home and share it. And we always did it. Even now, at almost 40 years old, we still share. We feel we can not completely enjoy things (yes, even a song) if we don't enjoy them together. I think this is why I so much wanted her here for your last treatment, so my joy can be complete and absolute. Even she was here, my joy still was not "complete and absolute", because Granny was not here anymore. But I am sure that from up in Heaven she celebrated with us. You used to ask me if Granny can see you and I always told you that she is always around you; just because we don't see her, it does not mean she's not here with us. Just like the sun; we don't see it at night, but it does not mean it is not there. We don't need to see it to know it is there!

Friday, November 22, 2013

This has been on my mind for quite a while now. The moment you were born, I became addicted to you. And now it seems that the addiction is both ways. I would have thought that if I spend lots of time with you, you will need the change, a bit of distance, a bit of independence, but I was as wrong as wrong can be. It's quite the opposite; the more time we spend together, the more time you want to spend together. On Wednesday night you had ballet, and the plan you and Daddy made on Tuesday was that Daddy will take you to school, pick you up from school, take you to ballet, just make it a Victoria-Daddy Day, while Mommy does some shopping. You agreed to it all, until Wed. morning. First, you wanted me to take you to school and Daddy picks you up and them takes you to ballet class. I was very pleased to get an hour or so to myself, but once you got in the truck, you changed your mind, so all 3 of us went to Ballet. I tried to explain to you that you're going to hurt Daddy's feelings, but you said that is not that you don't want to do things with Daddy, you just want Mommy there, too. All three of us.

Even in the Dominican Republic, Mommy wanted to spend one day in the room with my book, just stay out of the heat for a day. You were supposed to spend the day in the pool with Daddy. You went to the pool, but half an hour later you were back in the room and decided to spend the day in the room instead. As much as you love the water, you would not go in the pool with just Daddy.

But I'm not (really) complaining, because I know the day will come when you'll want to spend all your time with your friends and I will miss this days. Just like now I miss the hugs and kisses and cuddles, that are a lot less than even a year ago. So, I am trying to enjoy every minute spent together and I am trying to make the best of it, and best memories for you, to last you for a life time.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I came across this article tonight and I want to make sure that you will find it. So, I'm copying it here for you to read; it's a letter a Daddy wrote for his little girl:

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Last year you had a bag full of scarfs, but wouldn't wear them, because you said they 'strangle' you. No turtlenecks, no scarfs, no jackets zipped all the way up. So, what do I do? I give them all away. All good, until one day you start asking for a scarf! Ok, let's go out and buy a scarf, I say. Well, that's easier said than bought! No store sells scarfs for kids. So, we went to Michael's, a craft store and bought the yarn, the knitting needles, and I was ready to get knitting. The only problem?! I did not hold a pair of knitting needles in 25 years! In school, I started numerous scarfs, but I have never ever finished one. But this time is different, right? My baby wants one. And since there is no Grand-mother to knit you one, I guess Mommy has to step up to the plate and hit this ball hard enough to make it to the finish line. Yes, this is what ten years of living with Daddy did, made me speak in baseball language (well, kind of). :) So, I started knitting and I knitted hard for 2 whole days. I neglected the cleaning, the washing, the cooking, just to make you a scarf and to make you happy. But the good news is I finished it! And you are so happy. Here it is, a picture to prove it. I love you and I would do anything to make you happy. Even the unthinkable like knitting a scarf!

Thursday, November 07, 2013

We just came back from another exciting 2-weeks vacation back in Punta Cana. You loved every minute of it, even cried when we left! The only thing that comforted you was that your 'sisters' (dolls) at home miss you!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Boy! This is harder than JK! School just started a week ago and you cried 3 times, already! It's breaking my heart!!! I know why, I know you are very worried every time you have to spend the day with a different teacher. Before the school began, you were so worried about being in Mrs. A's class, but we kept telling you, you will love her as much as you love Mrs. B. And you already started liking her, you help her in class, you are fine now. Today, however, it's your first Gym day and of course, now you were so worried about that, that you cried and didn't want to go to school! Oh, I hope this will get better. It must be so hard on you! :(

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Disney goes all the way! It's all about the children, just like it should be! What an awesome week we had! We visited Cayman Island, Costa Maya and Cozumel, Mexico, Castaway Cay in the Bahamas and you loved every single one of them! But your favorite was Castaway Cay. Maybe because we got to spend the day in the Ocean.

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Tea Party was awesome! You had friends to play with, and it was a nice 'end-of-treatment' celebration. My idea was to make a tea-cup cake, but you wanted a frog cake, so I made both!

The dress you picked was the dress Diana brought for you. While she was here, Diana bought 2 charms for the necklace: a pearl and a penguin with a diamond. Your picks, of course. Daddy and Mommy bought you a ring, as per your request and Madrina and Padrino bought a charm, two baby feet, 'for all the steps you took'. Belle was here for a bit, Sharon was here, Laura, Tim, Lauren and Rachel and their Grandma Helen. The one missing all this is Granny. But form up in Heaven, I'm sure she saw your Tea-Party and how beautiful you are, I'm sure she saw you starting school and she's as proud of you as we are.