a little happiness, from my world to yours

Sometimes people say to me, “Catherine, are you really so happy ALL the time?” The answer is no. Not always.

Take last night, when I arrived back at the train station carpark to find that someone had left me a little present.

No note, no contact details, just the damage.

For me, a costly insurance deductible to pay; for them, probably guilt and fear, and having to carry the weight of doing something wrong. It wasn’t good for either of us…the person who got away or the one left holding the problem.

But here’s the thing. When bad stuff happens to us, we have a choice. Mine is always this:

My Canadian sister visited me in November, and she says it another way. I love her image, too:

I’m going to drop

that bag of rocks.

Because why carry it?

Why spend time watering and carrying something that won’t respond to your energy? The car door is damaged. The relationship is over. The deal didn’t go through.

Flip the bad into good. Here’s how I do it: years ago, I decided that when bad things happen to me, I will respond by pouring some good into the world. It doesn’t have to be equal in value or size. (My car door gets wrecked; I bake a surprise cake for my neighbour.) Replacing the bad with some good — with something I have control over — always makes me feel better. It’s become my Go-To response to trouble and bad news.

Whatever disappointment you’re facing, small like my car or big and scary, maybe try putting some good back into the world. You’ll drop the rocks, travel lighter, and feel a little better.

Right? Right.

So today I’ve been thinking about this: the tree’s up and it’s three weeks until we get to celebrate with the people we love!

Enjoy your weekend, everyone. There’s so much to appreciate in December!

You’ll definitely want to make these Raspberry Almond Cookies with White Chocolate Drizzle. Last year I made them for my publisher and carried them on the train. On that commute, strangers gazed at my cookies longingly. I made a blog-friend, shared the recipe with everyone, and became the most celebrated author in the city — ha ha!

Now you can, too.

And it’s quick and easy!

Whip up the dough in your mixer, thumbprint the cookies and fill with raspberry jam.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, cool and drizzle with white chocolate. The secret is to fill a ziplock bag with melted chocolate and snip off the end. It’ll give you more control as you decorate.

Enjoy — these cookies are perfect for Christmas and as giveaways that everyone loves. It will take you less than an hour to whip up a batch.

You are so welcome!

Love Catherine x

PS.

In Sydney it’s Jacaranda Snow-ing — purple snow everywhere! I finished my book launches for JACARANDA SNOW this week. Thank you for supporting this beautiful project. (Books available here and in good bookshops in Australia).

And for anyone who’s ever asked me about writing a picture book, I pulled together all the information you’ll need in this quick, comprehensive How To e-book, available now! You can find it here. It’s a clear, quick, no-nonsense guide.

Hello, all the new people this week! And hello, my internet & real life friends. I’ve been enjoying family these last few days; my Mum and sister & brother-in-law flew in from Canada yesterday and the house is all turned around with gifts and food and graduation celebrations for our oldest son. So I’m happy/tired this morning, up with the kookaburras!

I don’t worry about the garden I can’t see (e.g. down the side of the house…)

I don’t get up and race around in the morning. I always have slow-coffee first (for as long as I can manage!).

I don’t colour my hair anymore.

Erin says that for everyone with big To Do lists, it’s good to have a healthy To Don’t List.

Who are you, and what DOESN’T matter to you? What DON’T you do? What isn’t worth it, to you? Where do you draw your line in the sand? I’m so curious about your To Don’t list.

Enjoy your beautiful weekend, everyone…and, as always, be fun to live with!

Love Catherine

PS. One last To Don’t for me — I truly DO want to help new writers get their books written; I DON’T want to spend hours in cafes explaining how to do this with interested and lovely people! So I created a course and an e-book to help you, if you’re a new writer.

I’m loving November (Hello, Summer!) but I’m also a bit tired. Are you the same?

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I do this simple thing. I’m almost embarrassed to share it because it’s so basic, but it helps me EVERY TIME. Maybe it will also help you.

I keep a block of A3 paper on hand, and whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I grab a sheet and a sharpie. Then I brain dump everything major that’s waging war in my head onto the page. I usually chunk out my thoughts by month, with a few lists as well.

Sometimes I stick the page up on my wall in the study, replacing as I write new ones. Sometimes I just look at everything in one spot, and then I transfer jobs to To Do lists. Sometimes I stare at the sheet and breathe and remind myself that it’s do-able and not as jumbled and overwhelming as I thought.

Why does it work?

There’s magic (for me!) in the relief of putting everything in one place, outside myself, and in seeing it visually at one time…not in a series of lists. Maybe it will also work for you!

And now for some fun…

Since Jacaranda Snow launched, I’ve had SO MANY people ask if they can meet me for lunch or coffee to talk about writing their own picture books. You guys, it’s a super fun thing to do. But I’m running out of time to meet up and share (cue: feeling overwhelmed!), so I put together an e-book for anyone interested.

Here it is:

My e-book distills everything I learned in two years of expensive writing courses (plus the 10 years I spent doing it all wrong). It’ll set you on the right track to write your first viable picture book, if you want to!

It’s easy, fast and streamlined. I’m a good teacher!

If this sounds like fun and you’ve always wanted to try writing your book, you can buy it here. You’ll get it now, because it’s an e-book! You could write your book today!

Do you ever avoid a job that needs to be done? I wanted to wash off the pendant light hanging outside on our patio, covered in winter grime. I hate that job (okay, I hate cleaning.)

Enter: The 10 Minute Fix.

Here’s how I motivate myself: I set the oven timer to 10 minutes. I promise I’ll clean until it goes off. Grab the bucket, fill with hot water and soap, drop in a cloth, wipe the pendant lamp: messy, slimy, but I keep going until it’s done. I have time to spare, so I sweep the patio, get rid of cobwebs, swipe my cloth over the messy barbecue.

Beep beep. Time’s up. And it’s done.

Why is it so hard to remember that most yucky jobs take 10 minutes?

Seriously, what if we ALL did 10 minutes of exercise right now? Squats and push-ups, my friend, for 10 minutes. Or how about this: 10 minutes of meditation. 10 minutes of stretching. 10 minutes of working on your book. De-cluttering. Cleaning your underwear drawer.

It always surprises me how much I can get done in 10 minutes.

Choose the thing.

Set your timer for 10.

Do.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! May your lights get cleaned, your barbecue wiped off, and your push-ups done! And thank you, truly, for being here if you’re new this week!

Love Catherine x

PS.

Love all things French & English? And Canadian & Aussie? I want to tell you about Educalme, because Kailey and Josianne partnered with me to create a full FREE online Growth Mindset / Mindfulness course to go with my new picture book, JACARANDA SNOW. (You can take a peek at the free course here) Access Code is: JACARANDASNOW Educalme is an awesome initiative that truly helps kids, teachers and parents. Merci, Kailey and Josianne! This week I was on their incredible podcast: The Balanced Educator. Listen here!

Did you know that so much of JACARANDA SNOW is or feels French?? Helene Magisson is French / Australian, so the beautiful illustrations look French; Kailey & Josianne are bilingual and everything at Educalme is in French & English; and Alexander Lau, who composed a piano quintet that we printed in the book … his piece sounds like it was written by a French composer from the Romantic period. I’m the only non-French part of the book! Gotta work on that!

Books I posted overseas should be arriving to you soon! I’ll check with my publisher on Monday. Thank you! Available here and in Aussie bookshops.

Just keeping it real: can we talk about screens? And relationships? Do you ever feel like your conversations are split between a human and what’s on your phone?

We’re a busy couple, and it’s hard to admit that there are days and days when our marriage looks like this photo. Two laptops. Two coffees. Two people. Two phones. You see, we were at a restaurant, allegedly 'having a drink' before a school function…but there was a phone call, then an email to send, and I had my laptop with me so I started writing and on and on it goes.

We’re all facing the same question, right? How much is too much? When do the screens intrude and stop us from talking to each other?

We check them so often. Email, instagram, facebook. Too often.

BF Skinner, behavioural scientist, discovered that to ingrain a habit, you just need to give rewards at variable times in variable sizes. The lab rat knows it’ll be given food for pressing the lever, but not exactly when or how much. The result is a compulsive rat. It’s exactly the same with humans. Variable intermittent reinforcement explains why we hang around waiting for those hearts in Instagram and Likes on Facebook. We check-check-check and keep checking.

What are we looking for? Love on a screen. Bings and bongs that tell us we matter.

I had an epiphany while I was sleepless at 4am, and it was this:

For the next while,

I’m going to look for love

in real life.

It’s an experiment.

I’m looking for human connection, for “variable intermittent reinforcement” from a chat with a stranger in the fruit and veg market, from unexpected teenage hugs from my boys, from a wink from this guy I married 21 years ago. (Here he is, reading my latest book. This sneaky photo I took of Luther reminds me that love is a verb; it looks like reading your wife’s early drafts and emptying the dishwasher and being the one to walk the dog.)

JACARANDA SNOW is out in the world! I’m getting so many beautiful comments from readers, like this one from Melbourne author and Deedbags founder, Emma Bowd: “Jacaranda Snow champions the unseen kids and their carers from disadvantaged backgrounds, who have ‘enough’ but also have dreams like everyone else.” It’s my dream to help kids see that they can change their own lives. (Available in selected Aussie bookshops and online here!)

You can take a look at Deedbags and their wonderful designs (& good work in the world!) here. Aussie-hand-crafted by Emma in Melbourne. I bought a classic French-stripe Deedbag and use it for shopping!

My favourite thing in the world is to get up before everyone else and just sit in the quiet house, knowing that my family’s still resting.

Because this is true:

Our world has a time-famine mindset.

Time flies. It’s scarce. We need more time. Faster is better, right? But sometimes faster is just faster. Sometimes slower gives us all the energy we need to figure out the right solution to a problem or the best way forward.

It’s not how most people think.

The world is filled with hustle, my friends. But it should also be filled with some days that are deliberate and slow.

Here’s to slowing down today. Deep breaths, sip your coffee, smile at the people you love. Today, I’m going to do my best to slow down and listen to every story I’m told.

Enjoy your Sunday! I appreciate you being here.

Love Catherine x

PS.

To all the new people this week — hello and welcome! Forward to a friend — everyone can sign up here for weekly happiness emails.

Lots of this has been going on! I’ve been signing copies of JACARANDA SNOW all week. It’s available in select bookshops in Australia and online here. If you’ve pre-ordered, thank you so much; on Tuesday I’m posting books to you with love from Sydney. Here I was at Beachside Bookshop in Avalon…you guys, what a privilege to sign books! I was grinning.

It was a busy week, so for Saturday lunch I threw together my favourite "I Have Not Been Shopping and The Fridge is Bare and the Teenagers Are Staring at Me” tomato soup. It’s always delicious on a rainy day, so I thought I’d share it with you. It works surprisingly well as the first course for a dinner party. But shhhhhh! Don’t tell anyone how easy it is. (You can make yours without sherry, but increase the sugar a little or substitute with apple juice. That’s what Dr Google recommends!)

Then I made some scones with cheddar. But will someone PLEASE send me a better recipe? These scones were like Canadian hockey pucks, except white. And brown.

The soup was amazing!! I thought the scone situation was going well. They look so promising, right??? But I need your help. The scones were okay, but kind of heavy and dumpy and meh, so what’s the secret?

Last night, zooming around Sydney with a fun friend in her sporty car, I was reminded of one of my favourite Aussie phrases.

“You Beauty!”

“You Beauty!” is what Australians call out when they’re pleased or excited, or when something really good (or mildly pleasurable) has happened.

Love it.

Yet so many people are uncomfortable thinking of themselves as beautiful, or calling themselves beautiful. I’ve never understood this because — honestly — I see beauty in people all the time.

Not perfection. Beauty!

I know many of you in real life or on Instagram, and you ARE (in fact) beautiful. I see your beauty. Faces, eyes, hands, talents, hearts. The way you influence, or care for, or create, or paint or write or sing or conduct or draw…the way you rock a child, or make banana bread, or give away cookies. The way your face looks. The way you organise a garage sale. The emails you write. Your mannerisms. Your smile. Your lanky body or cuddly body.

The way that YOU are you: I see this as your beauty.

We all have our days (weeks, months?) of feeling less than pretty. But this morning, I want to tell you: you are lovely. I know you are. One of my special gifts is that I’m good at seeing beauty.

If I were sitting with you, a coffee in hand, I could look at you and tell you fifteen ways that you’re beautiful, outside and in. The world needs to see more of you, not less.

We need to see you shine.

Last week I asked you a big question: If you could be the woman of your dreams, who would you be?

Today I want to say this: you are more beautiful than you know.

You are wise, loving, hard-working. You are trying your heart out to help or heal or grow or be or do or earn or love.

How would YOU write a book, or plan a kitchen renovation, or meditate?

How would YOU throw your ideal party, or run a company?

~~

It seems like common wisdom to “be yourself.” We tell kids this all the time. But sometimes we get a little unclear on what this actually means. Instead of being who we are, we want to get straight to the good stuff — success. This can translate into believing we should be like other people, the ones who are successful and, therefore, ‘doing things right.’

~~

Almost two years ago, I read a question and it stopped me cold. It was this: if you could be the woman of YOUR dreams, who would YOU be?

That question made me start writing.

Am I perfect? No. Does everyone love me? No. Do I do it all ‘right’? No.

But I got started, and I’m doing things how I do them. That has to be enough, for me and for you.

So, here’s to your dreams, friends. How would YOU do it? How WILL you do it? (Remember: your way is valid and you are enough.)

#1 Put chapstick on blisters

You’re out, you’re in new shoes and suddenly you have a blister and another eight blocks to walk? Grab the chapstick from your handbag and rub it over your blister. No, it’s not perfect and won’t work as well as a bandaid or changing shoes BUT it offers immediate relief. Reducing friction is the key. Also: yes, lipstick works and we all have that in our handbags. (Lotion doesn’t work as well.) You’re welcome! Feel free to share with all the young women in your life…

#2 Wear one colour

Not sure what to wear? Feeling insecure about your outfit or the fact that you don’t have anything new? I’ve been there, friends! I’ve found that if I wear all one colour — my go-to is all black or all white — I look pulled together, and I feel more fashionable, too.

#3 Slick on more face cream

Just my opinion, but my skin always looks better when I put on more face cream. I struggle with foundation so I don’t wear it. On me, I think it looks cake-y in my wrinkles and I just don’t like the way it feels. But face cream? Love it. This year I heard that L’Oreal and Lancome are made by the same parent company, and L’Oreal is so much more affordable. Want to try it? Step right this way for my favourite one. And if you’re wondering about my one beauty regret? I wish I’d been more careful in the sun.

#4 Bonus tip

You might be expecting something cheesy like “Smile!” Instead, let me say this: everything on your inside really does show on your outside. So when you’re worried or sad, take a deep breath and do this. Then relax your shoulders. You’ve made it this far, through every single one of your days. You’re going to be okay. Let your light shine in the world.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! Sending you big hugs from Sydney in springtime. Thanks, as always, for reading … and hi to our new people this week. I appreciate you!

Love, Catherine x

PS.

More news on JACARANDA SNOW, my debut picture book — sorting out postal options now so I can post your pre-orders! Last night, I celebrated with Alexander Lau, the 18 year old who composed the companion piano quintet (piano score printed in the book)!

We love Scrabble. I always lose; Luther always wins. He digs in with the determination of an athlete about to blitz his competition. I laugh and sing 80s songs and joke around with the boys and eat stuff. This was me last night...and it was a terrible defeat.

Welcome, new people! I appreciate you for signing up. More happiness for us all!

One of my writing students is working on a project that could be as big as the next Stephanie Meyer Twilight series (but no vampires!). She's a total beginner with a hot idea. If you're a beginner and want to WRITE YOUR BOOK THIS YEAR, learn more here. I can teach you how.

If you're new and don't know what I look like, here's me wanting to be crazy on some steps at Circular Quay in Sydney. You guys, I seriously wanted to run up and down, and possibly try a dance routine from Chicago. (Just letting you see the real me. And no, I can't dance. Yet...)

It's back to school time in the northern hemisphere, and here in Australia we're half-way through the school year.

What are you up to?

In my world, it's time to Double Down.

What this means is that -- for me, right now -- it's time to get cracking and get some work done. I have a juicy novel I'm writing and a picture book to launch; I have a son about to turn 18 and sit his Year 12 exams; I have a busy husband, and a 14 year old who's gearing up for the start of basketball season.

I have great stuff going on, and problems going on, and my floors are perpetually dirty and I need to get my dental check-up. And there's laundry and broken tiles at the front door and a dog that needs walking every single day. And there's exercise to do and shopping (how can teenage boys eat SO MUCH so often?) and friends to grab a coffee with, and kids to chat with when they're worried.

In other words, my life is like your life: good stuff, fun stuff, hard stuff...lots of stuff!

So instead of freaking out, I'm going to Double Down. In this season of busy, I'm going to get productive. I'm going to find more hours in my day, get up that bit early, work later and Get. Things. Done.

Because, truly, I'm happy. I'm happy that I have a lot going on. I'm happy even for the challenges. The challenges are life. Such a whopping big cliche, but it's true: these are the good old days, problems and all.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone. Rest if it's your turn to rest, Double Down if it's time for that.

Sending you big hugs from Sydney,

Catherine xx

PS.

Hugs & thank you for reading every week! I appreciate all of you. Wish I could have you over for coffee and a slice of my best chocolate cake!

My writing students are doing so well in my online course! If you want to write your book and you like my vibe, I'm a good teacher. My class is filled with Beginners! I may teach again in October, so email me if you want more info! (Easy & and you can watch replays anytime, when it suits you.)

Want your own #happythankyoumoreplease t-shirt? My friend Natalie is selling them in her shop here. Just sharing coz I love mine! Not an affiliate link :)

Look at this gorgeous message, the colours, the buildings. I love Sydney!

Two months ago, I lost my brother. I shared my story with a sweet friend who also lost hers, and she pulled up the sleeve of her sweater to show me a delicate tattoo. It was a dragonfly she got when her brother died.

"I wanted to carry him," she said, and traced it with her finger.

Her words made me want to cry because -- truly -- I wasn't that strong or noble. I wanted my big brother to carry me. We were fourteen years apart in age, and what I wanted more than anything was the feeling of a brother who protected. Who took care of, like in the movies. Someone to watch over me and be a champion...but my brother was mostly gone by the time I was old enough to know him. Now he's truly gone.

Losing him makes me think of all the opportunities we give up to reconnect with people we love. Whether it's age or geography, differences of opinion, lack of time, or personalities that just don't fit, there really is so little point in staying disconnected.

This life is fleeting. Dragonflies barely weigh as much as a dime.

We all need to carry each other....and be gentle with each other's gossamer wings and fragile hearts.

If I know anything, it's this: we're all breakable, delicate, and sometimes tired. Every single one of us.

You.

Also me.

Sending love to all of you today, all around the world. Let's take care of each other while we can.

Remember this one? So good you want to eat it with a spoon? There was nothing moderate about the 80s.

Not the hair.

Not the leg warmers.

Not the sour cream in the spinach dip.

Yesterday I made this classic for my year 12 son, who is very very tired of studying for HSC Trials (overseas translation for my favourite Canadians and Americans: Year 12 'Trial' final exams...the real ones happen in October & November, but Trials also count!).

Just so you don't have to go searching for the recipe, here it is. (Yes, the water chestnuts matter but are not entirely critical!)

Today, let nostalgia be your ally! Your favourite classic perfume, music, food -- that song you love from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s -- it can be a fast, easy way to find your Happy.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! Have some fun...and be fun to live with.

Anyway, I learned something surprising about myself: I'm not scared of being older. And I don't think we have to worry about it, as if it's some kind of problem. In fact, Classic Age can be the very best time of our lives.

Adventure Gum Game -- mamas of Littles, this is April Hoss's idea (via this lovely photographer on Instagram): give your child a list of items to find AND a piece of Adventure Gum when they set off. Apparently the Adventure Gum makes it off-the-charts exciting! I'm thinking...can I have my own version of the Adventure Gum game? Writing Gum? Laundry Gum? I-Have-To-Go-To-Fitness-Gum? Love it!

Overseas friends: want to see an Aussie sheep station? A boarding student at my son's school made this video of his family property. Oh so sad; there's a drought in NSW. Watch here.

I've had a week of feeling overwhelmed, so today I'm bringing you a blog post with ONLY Fun Things. (The lifestyle blog Cup of Jo does this so well!)

First up, I love wearing beautiful rings. My philosophy is this: why wait until I can afford to buy a real Elizabeth Taylor-sized pink Argyle Diamond when I can have all the fun NOW for $12? And so can you! Available here.

Of all the questions I get asked, this one's the most common: why did you let your hair go grey?

Let me start with a HUGE disclaimer: please understand, this is about me and my life and my choices. It's not a value judgement or a sneaky way of implying that you should do this, too!

Here's why I stopped colouring my hair and embraced my ageing.

Except for my friend, Pam, and my sister-in-law Christine, I'm the only woman I know who has gone grey by 50. Keep in mind that I know hundreds of women my age in Australia, America and Canada -- relatives, acquaintances and friends. I'm grey. They're not. I'm pretty much the only one!

When I decided to grow out my blonde hair, quite a few friends (lovingly, thoughtfully...) warned me, "Don't do it! It will age you!" And honestly, I think they're right. I think I do look older than my friends who colour their hair. But I also look good.

And here's me After. (I'm three years older in this After photo...). It was taken about a month ago.

So why did I do it?

Authenticity.

I wanted to see what my (honest) 49 looked like. I also wanted to be free from dumping chemicals on my head every four weeks, free of the cost of hair colour, and free to reclaim the hours I spent covering up my grey roots. You know what I'm talking about. (Because, yes, the grey roots always show.)

I wanted to get my ageing over with.

I say this with relief: I'm done. I've aged. I'm grey. Now I get to head gracefully into the rest of my life.

So what's it like being grey? For me, it's this. (And please remember, I'm not judging anyone's hair choice!)

1. Surprisingly, I get more positive comments about my appearance than I've had since I was thirty. (I'm shy about this but it's true: strangers often stop me now and tell me I look beautiful. What a gift in the middle of my life! It makes me feel so good.)

2. A lot of compliments come from men and I never expected that. Being grey brings this strange freedom; now men of all ages 'read' me right. From young guys to those who are 50 and 70 and beyond, men treat me with respect. Young men know who I am: a 'classic age' woman secure in her own skin. I am 50+. I look 50+. I'm not trying to appear 35; I have the grey hair to prove it.

3. Women ALL tell me the same thing. I've heard this literally hundreds of times: "But your hair is a beautiful colour. Mine would be awful." This one makes me smile...because everywoman says this to me (and I'm pretty sure that, statistically, all these women would not have an 'awful' colour of grey hair! Who knows? Maybe yours is beautiful).

4. People think I colour my hair! There's irony for you: people ask me if I dye my hair silver. The answer is nope. This is me, naturally. (My Mum has beautiful pure white hair, so who knows? That might be me one day.)

5. Young women love that I've gone grey. They tell me I'm a role model, ageing authentically, and they hope they will do the same.

Here's me, three months in...growing out my grey!

Do I judge everyone who keeps colouring? No.

Do I think I'm smarter or more enlightened? No.

Does it make me look a little older? Probably yes.

Every person chooses his or her own path. For me, going grey was the best possible decision. I think I look better (and maybe a little older!) I've saved tons of money and time.

If you're sitting on the fence about whether to go grey, i have lots of advice about how i did it (the short answer is that I did it slowly, without help from my hair stylist. I just grew out my roots over 18 months and enjoyed the authentic reveal of the Real Me. I wanted time to get used to myself.)

Whatever you decide to do, know this: you might be pleasantly surprised by who you are underneath your hair colour. Maybe. But that choice is 100% up to you.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone. Be fun to live with...grey, not grey, or somewhere in between!

Some beautiful lady took #lovelierepeat to France. Thank you @budafied 💗 for your love and light — and wonderful review — from the most beautiful city in the world. Enjoy Paris. 💗 Happy reading. .
Repost @budafied 💗

Going grey - have you ever wondered what you might look like? 🌸I look better grey than ‘blonde.’ It’s 100% a personal choice... but I’m so glad I went grey at 49. For me, it was all upside. My hair feels & looks better, and I’ve saved SO much money and time in the salon. Yes, I look a little older than my friends and sisters who aren’t grey, but I’m OK with that. I like being grey. It feels...like PEACE. It feels pretty. 🌸Enjoy your day!