17 Men Share the Awkward AF Encounters with Lady Bits

Image via Giphy

Sex is weird, for both guys and ladies, but some times the guys have it harder. Only because the male sex is already really weird and usually aren’t so graceful in regards to hooking up. Guys get especially grossed out by periods and blood, two very common things that happen to vaginas. But still even in this modern day, that stuff freaks them the f*ck out. Even the word vagina freaks out most men I’ve come across. Yet, men still squirm at these things or result in making a situation go from pleasurable to completely f*cking uncomfortable.

I had a really lazy boyfriend that would smoke a bunch of pot, drink plenty of whiskey, and try to have sex. Well, he’d stat the foreplay with going down on me and the combination of being high and drunk resulted in plenty of times of him falling asleep down there. Let me repeat: PLENTY of times.

What resulted was alway an awkward shove and the female version of blue balls. Like, come on dude, you started it and can’t even finish? I’ve learned my lesson since then and do not have time for that anymore. I’m sure there have been plenty of weird encounters with vaginas once a guy starts trying to get in or around them, for that matter.

These 17 men have had some cringeworthy encounters with lady bits:

1.

I was having a good time with my FWB. I was going down on her and we were both really getting into it. I got a tickle in my nose all of a sudden I sneezed, directly into her lady bits. Lips flapped everywhere, noises were made and I almost died right there on the spot.

2.

My mother had a towel around her and tray in her hands, coming up from a shower downstairs. I had people over upstairs, about six friends in total sitting around watching a movie. My mother’s towel drops. I go in to cover her. If only I would’ve done it the sane way, by throwing the towel on her. Because of faulty wiring in my brain I slide down the floor… and cup my hand over her vagina. WTF’s were had by all of us, including my mother. I uncupped. Covered her with the towel, took the tray and avoided eye contact with anyone for the rest of the movie..

3.

Having sex with my girlfriend very vigorously. When she came her uterus seized and she jumped off..and there was a good deal of suction. Long story short, week old clotted blood the size of a golf ball fell out on my d*ck. I was appalled and proud at the same time.

4.

First time I fingered a girl, I spent like ten minutes only like half an inch in. I had no idea it actually went deeper because it felt like the end the line… What can I say? Eventually, she had to lean over and tell me to actually go in. Embarrassment.

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.