May, 2012

Let’s be honest, Potato Nation. Tim Sylvia is probably one of the most toughest motherfuckers you know. True story: While in college, I once sent a him a private video message in which I made fun of his fight with Ray Mercer, his appearance on Blind Date, and his nickname, “Fatty Boom-Boom,” for a good twenty five minutes. I’m not sure how, but the very next day, he showed up to my school, slept in my dorm room, beat the fuck out of my roommate and took his bed, then proceeded to smack all of my teachers, professors, RA’s, and deans before my very eyes.

When we were treated to the long-time ring girl’s mugshot and arrest details shortly thereafter, it appeared as if Ms. Celeste was responsible for starting the fight, and her oddly phrased tweets that came just hours before the incident transpired surely didn’t help her case.

Well, our girl Arianny is not just going to lay back and let the penal system have its way with her…

Look Dan, I get that your last victory represented a dramatic change in every aspect of your life, but let’s face it — that mohawk was your trademark, and without it, you look like just another guy on the sex offender registry. Not that you look like a sex offender in this photo; I’m definitely not saying that. But really, sex offenders can look like anybody these days. They can look like the dude who bags your groceries, or the kindly piano teacher down the block, or the maintenance worker at your local park. So theoretically, sure, you now look like somebody who could be a sex offender — which again, is basically anybody — whereas your mohawk gave you a conspicuous “LOOK AT ME!” kind of vibe that most sex offenders would never try to pull off, as they tend to prefer secrecy and a low profile. Does that make sense? You look like a normal guy now. That’s all I meant.

Prado’s 8-0 record (seven by KO/TKO) looks good on paper, but his competition has been entry-level at best; his last three opponents had a combined record of 1-4 at the time of their fights. Taking on a world-class fighter in your UFC debut after a couple years spent beating on local yokels is rarely a recipe for success. So, barring any Dos Santos vs. Werdum-caliber world-shocking, Mr. Wonderful should have this one in the bag.

After the jump: The full lineup of UFC on FOX 4, plus two videos of Prado doing work.

(Cote has never been the same since the night he had a run-in with Rousimar Palhares’ doppelganger.)

When all is said and done for the human race, there will be three rivalries that stand above them all in the footnotes of history: America vs. The Brits, Germany vs. Everybody, and now, Canada vs. Vietnam. Though there hasn’t been a feud between the two on the level of the Hatfields and McCoys yet, things are about to change. Why, you ask? Well, it has just been announced that Canada’s own Patrick Cote will be returning to the octagon to face Vietnamese-born San Shou expert Cung Le at UFC 148. The war that will inevitably result from this pairing will easily go down as the most significant clash Canada has gotten into since the Hans Island dispute with Denmark in the early 80′s.

Since exiting the promotion, Cote has strung together four straight wins, including a most recent first round knockout of Shooto/IFL vet Gustavo Machado, a win that we speculated could earn him a trip back to the UFC. And damn it, it feels good to be right for once.

In a follow-up report about Jon Jones’s DUI arrest, WBNG Action News confirms that the UFC light-heavyweight champ had two women in his 2012 Bentley Continental GT when he had a run-in with a telephone pole in Binghamton, NY, on May 19th. Both were injured, and neither of them was his fiancée:

Cara Johnson, 25, was in the front passenger seat and Michele Vojtisek, 25, was sitting in the back passenger seat. When Jones crashed, air bags deployed. Vojtisek suffered bruising and cuts on the right side of her face, one above her eye and one below. Johnson got a nosebleed and complained of shoulder pain. She also had bruising from a seat belt. Both women were treated at Wilson Hospital.

Officers say Jones speech was slurred, he was unsteady on his feet, and it was evident he was intoxicated. Jones refused a field sobriety test and a breathalyzer. He pled guilty to DWI Tuesday in Binghamton City Court as part of a plea deal and will be back in court for sentencing on June 19.

(This one is for The Number 23, and the next one is for that God damn penguin movie!)

Yep, that’s right. None other than former middleweight champion Rich “Ace” Franklin will be the man to fill in for Vitor Belfort against Wanderlei Silva in the main event of UFC 147. The fight will be contested at a catchweight of 190 pounds. Sound familiar? That might be because these two met at UFC 99 back in June of 2009 at a catchweight of just five pounds heavier (a.k.a Rumbleweight, Franklinweight, Moneyweight, or 195 lbs.). The fight was an action packed affair that saw “Ace” emerge victorious by way of unanimous decision.

Though this matchup will more than likely make for an exciting fight (being that their first scrap took home FOTN honors), we may be looking at the possibility of UFC 147 being demoted from a pay-per-view to a free card at this point. And here’s why.

Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist(Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.

Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.

They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.

Our always-entertaining bros at MMA: Inside the Cage are back with their latest episode, featuring these must-see highlights…

6:58: A knockout that defines the phrase “sitting duck.”

9:37: An exclusive first look at the documentary Fight Church, from the producers of The Hammer, about a Christian ministry in New York that uses MMA and kickboxing as a means to spread their message. “Can you love your neighbor as yourself and then at the same time knee him in the face as hard you can?”

17:44: One-legged flyweight MMA fighter Matt Betzold faces off against Rudolph Kennedy at WFF 8 on May 12th. Betzold secures the takedown right away, opens Kennedy’s forehead up with an elbow, and sinks the rear-naked choke, evening his pro record to 3-3.

Give it a look, and be sure to follow Casey and Cyrus on Facebook and Twitter!

Dustin Jenson, 26, was participating in full-contact fights at a RingWars event May 18 when he tapped out — a signal to end the fight. According to his mother-in-law, Violet Schieman, Jensen then watched the next two fights before going to the locker room area, where he suffered a seizure.

“He laid down to do his stretches, and another fighter heard a moan,” Schieman said. “He went over and saw Dustin having a seizure. They called an EMT, which took him to Rapid City Regional Hospital.”

Schieman said medical personnel determined that Jenson had increased pressure on his brain and put him in a medically induced coma before surgery was performed to relieve pressure. He was declared dead May 24 and was taken off life support the next day, Schieman said.

“He did not wake up after the surgery and was declared brain dead at 10:23 a.m.,” she said. “He remained on life support until his organs were donated.”