Wednesday, March 12, 2008

so yesterday i'm on my way to our last intro to judaism class and i've worked out that the best way to get there is to take an express train to brooklyn which bypasses the stop i need and then transfer to a local train going back towards manhattan. that actually takes less time then taking the local out of manhattan. . .go figure. and yes, i spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the quickest way to get places because i am the master of public transportation.

i made my transfer and stepped into the car on the local train and looked around and realized that i was the only person in the car. and i was amazed because that almost never happens and it certainly never happens at 6:30pm on a weekday. i looked around and was tickled to discover how excited i was by this moment of solitude -- because i think in this massive jumble of a city those moments where you get to be truly alone during your day are very, very rare. so i relished the moment.

as the doors to the train closed i took a deep breath, exhaled and. . .farted.

that's right. i did that. i just let. it. rip. and it felt good. i felt free, calm, truly at one with myself.

and wouldn't you know it, right after my glorious release the doors sprung back open and 8 people jumped in the car right behind me. and were greeted with eau de shaygo.

the moral of the story: you are never as alone as you think you are in new york city.

"Spitzer is another man who has his brains in his pecker. Is screwing around with a professional worse than having your winky whacked by an intern? Because I do not recall our wanting Bill to resign over that indiscretion. Oy Veh!!! What a sad state of affairs!"

yeah. equally brilliant. "winky whacked by an intern" -- amazing.

i am really saddened by this because i naively expected more from my governor. i knew there was something kind of smarmy about him but he was a relentless attorney general and he fought the good fight. and even though that all still stands he is going to have a very hard time bouncing back from this one. . .and to be honest i am getting tired of having to forgive these idiots and i don't think i should have to settle into a place where i expect nothing from the people who i elect. so why does this anger me more than bill's penis debacle?

because spitzer PAID for it. he paid a woman a large sum of money and brought her across state lines to have sex with her. this wasn't just an affair. this was paying for sex with a prostitute -- something that spitzer railed against when he was the a.g. and if i find it hypocritical that someone like larry craig gets to solicit men in the bathroom while spouting homophobic rhetoric than i should find it equally hypocritical when someone participates in the very industry that they spent years trying to dismantle as an elected official.

and i will never understand these wives who go to the mea culpa press conference with their douche-bag husbands. if it were me i'd be all "oh, hell no! fuck you, you asshole and your little 'i failed my family press junket' -- you get to go it a. l. o. n. e."

and then i'd throw a plate at his head and then i'd make sure that he had to go to the press conference alone with shards of fine china all over his suit and in his hair so that the public would know that this is one wife who wasn't going to play nice and wear pearls. and i'd tell his p.r. people to get away from me -- so that they way they could all sweat a little bit over what i might do or say.

and then i would buy a first class ticket -- no i would buy first class tickets for me and my friends so we could all go somewhere ridiculous like nice, or cannes, or bali and drink a lot of beverages with alcohol and umbrellas in them and we would stay in the fanciest of hotels and have spa treatments all day every day and then i would come home looking fabulous.

and the press would be like "look at mrs. blah da blee blah -- she looks gorgeous. and she's so smart and funny. he's such an idiot."

only then would i decide what to say and how to say it.

silda, feel free to use my plan of attack as you get through this humiliating debacle. but if you do all i ask is for a seat on that plane. . .i've always wanted to go to bali.

Friday, March 07, 2008

today is a bittersweet day for rogray and me. today is the day that we sold our car.

that was our 1991 mazda mx-6 GT (that stands for turbo yo) we bought in cali. it is the car that took us through our year there and it is the car that brought us across the country back home:

those last two pictures are what happens when you've been stuck in a car for 6 days straight and you're driving through texas.

this car has taken us camping:

and on day trips. to family and to friends. we didn't have a name for our car but we certainly loved it. so why did we sell it?

well, dadgo and momgo were kind enough to get us a newer used car to take us camping and to family and friends. and on sunday we go and get our new car that has been patiently waiting for us in a garage on long island. our old car is going to our good friend the photog and her husband so they can enjoy day trips and last minute get aways. so it is in swell hands and it will stay in the family.

it's been a great car -- one that got rogray and me through a very particular, interesting and crazy time in our life and we will miss it. so 1991 mazda mx-6 GT with the oscillating a/c vents we salute you and we love you.