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Nuts

June 02, 2011

Okay, according to the Women of Grace website, Senior Class President Obama has declared June to be "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month".

Can someone explain why Zoophiles were so glaringly left out? What goes on between a man and his hamster should be their business, right? RIGHT? Who are you to judge? STOP PUSHING YOUR MORALITY ON MEEEEEEE!!!!

May 26, 2011

Paul and Melinda Hamling of Grumpton, Vermont have upset family, friends an neighbors by refusing to specify or confirm their child's species. Now about two (in human years) the youngster reportedly sometimes chooses to be taken in a stroller, and other times chooses a leash for daily walks around the neighborhood. He/she has been seen running after robins and other area birds, as well.

"We want Anton (not his real name... or gender) to have choices", said his/her Mom, "He/she loves to sleep with Petey, our terrier, sometimes, but s/he also spends a lot of time with out cats, Buster and Keaton. We also have a ferret s/he has responded to very positively, and s/he has been curious lately about the squirrels in our yard. We just want (Anton) to be free to make that choice for him/herself, because it will probably have a lot of impact on his/her life... how s/he sees him/herself, who or what s/he will marry or mate with, what kind of food or Purina chow s/he may prefer."

Family members and friends have been mostly outwardly tolerant of the practice, while making faces and swirling motions at the sides of their heads in private or while the parents' backs are turned.

Others have been more vocal in their questioning of the parents' judgment. "Are you, just... batsh*t crazy?"... that's what I said", an anonymous uncle shared. "I mean, seriously... what if the kid chose to be a rock? Would they leave him in the garden, or use him/her to prop up the leg of a picnic table? I did bring him/her a bag of dog treats for his/her birthday, like they asked, but only because I didn't want to raise a stink".

Neighbors' reactions have been mixed, "I'm not sure about letting my Gracie play with him/her. I mean, what if s/he's something like a pit-bull or a badger? That could be dangerous. No, I'm afraid we won't take that kind of risk unless they at least give us the phylum."

October 12, 2009

"This is the first incident
this year involving a student under the age of seven in possession of a
dangerous instrument. Christina School District staff and the Christina
Board of Education are constantly examining ways to improve policies
regarding student discipline."

The "dangerous instrument" referred to by this hysterical bureaucrat is a Cub Scout camping utensil... one of those fork/knife/spoon combos.

The only dangerous instruments here are the brains of the busybodies who let the incident get to this stage. Any sane person would have - at most - taken the thingy-ma-bob, explained the rule to the child and sent a pleasant note home to the parents explaining that they could pick up the camping tool any time.

Instead, these pettifogging apparatchiks want to send this six-year-old to reform school for 45 days. Great Jehoshaphat! Well, "make the criminal fit the crime" I always say. If he's not a hoodlum now, a month-and-a-half in the grade school equivalent of the county lockup ought to do the trick.

You know, I've always thought, even before I was a Catholic, that if you want to find out what Christians believe and why, you ought to ask Christians before you take too much to heart what is said about their beliefs by critics or cranks or even professors.

I have come to apply that same approach to the beliefs of other groups, as well. So, for instance, if I want to know what Buddhists believe, I favor asking Buddhists, rather than some expert in comparative religions who studies Buddhists like insects pinned to a card.

The same courtesy ought to be extended to the modern descendants of the Maya, who would like to make it very clear that they - none of them - are lying awake nights wondering if the world will end in 2012. Not according to this AP article from Yahoo News, anyway.

The purveyors of this cash-conjuring nonsense, such as the folks at the History Channel, are doing to the Maya what Dan Brown did for the Catholic Church in his ham-fisted conspiracy fiction... spinning tales out of whole cloth and embroidering them with totally unrelated bits of archeological and historical "evidence" which is only evidence of their colossal ignorance.

There's nothing wrong with ignorance, per se. Ignorance with humility is harmless and curable, but ignorance combined with pride blossoms into arrogance, and is most often incurable, the patient being highly resistant to the only antidote.

The Maya would like to invite us all to shut up about the "mysteries" of the calendar of their ancestors, and take a moment to consider that no contemporary Mayan has ever considered that the calendar predicts anything like the end of the world in 2012.

I do predict, however, that the loopy 2012 theories will generate a lot of book and DVD sales. If you could pile all that bullsh*t into one place, it might really shift the poles enough to usher in a new ice age. The real disaster may be the denuding of forests to print all the books, or the food shortages caused by hoarders who foolishly threw out their stockpiles of supplies from the Y2K scare. Should have held onto those powdered eggs...

September 01, 2009

Don't worry, folks. This is clearly an isolated incident, the work of a lone kook who's personal beliefs and affiliations could not be of less importance. After all, this was just a Christian minister of a small town church* working quietly and nearly anonymously. It's not like she was of any real political importance.

Now, when an abortionist is murdered in a church, this is clearly part of a larger and darker sort of conspiracy, and we should all be very, very afraid, especially of anyone who opposes abortion.

Style note: When violence and religion are mentioned together in any sort of press article, it is always the religious folk that direct violence against others, never are religious folk the victims of hatred and intolerance, especially from the irreligious. Religious persecution against Christians in the modern world is a contradiction in terms, and is impossible. Christians are the problem. Just as it is impossible for a white man to be the victim of racism, it is impossible that Christians should ever be the victims of intolerance and persecution. Christians are the intolerant ones, always...

...even when they are stabbed to death, mutilated, stripped and laid out on the floor of their church in a crucifixion pose.

Nothing to see here. Move along. Do contact us, though, if a liberal is murdered.

* Eternal rest grant unto her O
Lord,
And let perpetual Light shine upon her.
May her soul
And the souls of all the faithful departed
Through the mercy of God
Rest in peace.
Amen.

July 31, 2009

The Web is a strange and wonderful place. On the wonderful side, for instance, I was very gratified to see that Mark Shea picked up my "Beer Summit" post over at Jimmy Akin's blog. Having your stuff picked up by other bloggers you admire is just great fun.

On the other hand, while poking around in my stat counter, I notice that one of my posts has been linked by some kind of Bondage/Domination/Fetish group.

November 24, 2008

I don't know which is weirder, people who can say with a straight face that nudity has "nothing to do with sex" (at least in the West), or people for whom the free exchange of bodily fluids with random strangers is both the driving force and the highest aspiration of human life.

It does seem to me that arson might be a risky practice for a nudist...

It also seems like the only requirement one needs now to be classed as a "fundamentalist" is to speak or act in even the smallest way against the evangelists and crusaders of Free Sex.