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Aye, itsa me, Mario! I'ma going to introduce the nominees for most likely to bea the next DLC ina the Super Smash Bros. game for the Wii U anda the 3DS. First off, I'd like to remind you how difficult it is to be a Smash contestant. Itsa not easy and takes a special kinda person... ish... thing... to bea the best in the Smash! Itsa not for the feeble!

To start off, we hava the Award Claus, who's new arounda these parts. He'sa... she'sa... mama mia, itsa the host of these Ciddies. I don't knowa much about him, but I knowa the Santa Claus. If Award Claus is anything lika the Santa Claus, he'da be okey dokey fora the Smash game!

Next we have Ayen, who cannot beata the Super Mario Bros. ona the NES. How does this idiota expect to Smash in the Smasha game if he no good at the Mario? Oh, he playa the 3D Mario good? Luigi playa the 3D Mario good, too, and hea no good in life as well!

Third we have Datt Matt, who lika the Zelda games. Mario lika the Zelda games, too, because Mario hasa thing for the blondes. Mama mia, thatsa spicy meataball!

Fourth we hava the Pike, our firsta lady on this list (unless you saya the Ayen a lady, but I only saya he a girl because he can't beata the Super Mario Bros.) Pike lika the Charmander. Mario prefera the Amoongus, but Chamander is okey dokey as a starter. Pike isa lota like Mario. Mario has Luigi, Pike hasa the Mr. Adequate. Both are afterthoughts in Mr. Miyamoto's mind.

Our nexta nominee is no other than Sephex, who looksa lotta lika human Bowser. He scara the crap outta me. If he's in, I'ma out.

Then we hava the Sephiroth. Sephiroth? We hava the Cloud already! Whattsa matta you?! No, no more the characters from Final Fantasy VII. We needsa the Bartz before we getsa the Sephiroth, capisce?

Our last nominee isa the shark dogg sharky... the shark dogg. Now this sounds interesting! A doga who looka like the shark! Maybe he'll scare away that Sephex! Here, sharky sharky sharky! I gotta good treat for you! Thatsa good boy! You lika the meatballs!