Unless you are expecting an important call, why interrupt someone with whom you are deep in a very emotional conversation? I think you were at least a bit rude to your friend.

My friend and I talk so often and so long that we have a standing "it's OK to go to call waiting" rule. Plus, as I said in my initial post, I do have some important calls I'm waiting on, including test results and a call from my brother and parents. It wouldn't be a big deal to flash over, find out it's my brother, flash back to my friend, wrap up our call, and then speak with my brother. I just think that when I tell an unsolicited commercial caller, even one who works for a company I use, that it isn't a time I can talk, they should respect that.

In a perfect world I agree with you.

Telemarketers are pushy for a reason . . . they are trained that way. It's the job they have, and in order to keep that job they need to follow company rules. I do sympathize with telemarketers . . . I would never ever want to be one. (Although I once was (20 years ago) for about a month, trying to sell magazines, it was the worst job I ever had.) DD#2 tried it for about a week and one of DD#1's friend lasted maybe 6 months.

Just try to remember that Telemarketers are real people with real families that they need to house and feed. They are not put on this world for the sole purpose of being rude to the people that they call.

Rude Telemarketer (RT): Yes, can you hear me well?Me: (warily) I can hear you, what is this about?RT: Yes, ma'am I'm Rhonda from AARP and blah blah...(begins spiel)Me: (interrupting) I'm sorry, I need to interrupt you here. I am interested in taking your survey, now is not a good time. Please call me back later. Thanks! (Hang up)I'm on the other line with someone else, and can't talk now. RT: Oh I see, ma'am. Well I have a survey of only 4 questions, so if we just do this quickly now-Me: No, we cannot do this now, I am on the other line with my friend whose husband has cancer so you will have to excuse me! Good luck to you!

And I hung up.

Now, I know I went overboard with what I said and my tone, which was clearly annoyed, so I will take my lashings if I must. But I can't believe the Rude Telemarketer would think it's OK to push the rest of the call when I had already said I had someone else on the other line!

Here's your lashing : You turned Telemarketer's interruption of your phone call into a personal matter (by giving them personal information) and ended up thinking Telemarketer was rude for trying to keep you on the line.

Telemarketers are very used to hang-ups. If you use a polite (green bold above) statement followed by a hang up instead of saying "Hey, I told you I can't talk now!" before hanging up it would be so much more pleasant for the poor telemarketer to take.

I know you said you had call waiting, and that you were expecting some important calls, so you had reason to answer.

We have an answering machine on our land line which announces who's calling, and where we can hear any message being left. I no longer answer that line unless it's from someone I know.

I do more or less the same thing with my cell phone. If it's someone in my contacts, I'll answers; if all I get is the number, I often don't. (though I do have to remember that my doctor's number is restricted, since it's part of a big HMO, so if I'm expecting a call from the doctor, I do answer other numbers.)

Other than that, "I'm sorry. This isn't a good time. Goodbye", and hang up.

I think it was understandable how you responded, but I do have a cringe response to throwing out personal/sensitive/traumatic information as a weapon like that. I feel like, the telemarketer wasn't *more* rude to you because you were having that discussion with your friend, they would have been rude otherwise, so it would be overall better to just hang up or be curt without an explanation.

You stayed on the line too long. "Sorry, I'm not interested, please remove me from your call list"

--click--

They have to follow a script. No need to explain or give excuses to them, just exit out. You don't even have to stay on long enough for them to try to talk you into it, just hang up, maybe with an additional "not interested," as you do so.

I think it was understandable how you responded, but I do have a cringe response to throwing out personal/sensitive/traumatic information as a weapon like that. I feel like, the telemarketer wasn't *more* rude to you because you were having that discussion with your friend, they would have been rude otherwise, so it would be overall better to just hang up or be curt without an explanation.

This. Being firm with telemarketers is fine, trying to guilt-trip them is not fine.

If you end up in the middle of the call, use a stock phrase to end the convo immediately and hang up. "I can't talk right now, good day to you." <click>

"I'm afraid you didn't hear me, I cannot speak right now. Good bye."

This sends the wrong message. It makes them feel it's okay to call at another time.

You don't think they're going to call again anyway?!!

You have no influence over these people. You couldn't send a message if you tried! If you have a working phone line and a pulse, you are going to get called.

The Do Not Call registry is kind of a joke. That only discourages some of them, but not all.

The point is to get off the line immediately without being rude. One can get phones nowadays that have caller ID that works for call waiting calls so you can see if its someone you want to interrupt your call for.

If you end up in the middle of the call, use a stock phrase to end the convo immediately and hang up. "I can't talk right now, good day to you." <click>

"I'm afraid you didn't hear me, I cannot speak right now. Good bye."

This sends the wrong message. It makes them feel it's okay to call at another time.

You don't think they're going to call again anyway?!!

You have no influence over these people. You couldn't send a message if you tried! If you have a working phone line and a pulse, you are going to get called.

The Do Not Call registry is kind of a joke. That only discourages some of them, but not all.

The point is to get off the line immediately without being rude. One can get phones nowadays that have caller ID that works for call waiting calls so you can see if its someone you want to interrupt your call for.

I don't speculate about what "they" might do. That's a waste of my time.

I don't know what you mean by saying I have no influence. I can answer/not answer, listen/not listen, or hang up. I don't know if you're aware, but some telemarketers have been successfully sued.The point is that saying "I can't talk right now" or something along those lines (such as you suggest) encourages them to call again when you CAN talk.

Actually, there have been many times when I've simbly said "Not interested, please don't call again" and never heard anymore from the caller. Not every teleparketer relentlessy calls everyone they have called before over and over and over. And being on the Do Not Call list does help.

If you end up in the middle of the call, use a stock phrase to end the convo immediately and hang up. "I can't talk right now, good day to you." <click>

"I'm afraid you didn't hear me, I cannot speak right now. Good bye."

This sends the wrong message. It makes them feel it's okay to call at another time.

You don't think they're going to call again anyway?!!

You have no influence over these people. You couldn't send a message if you tried! If you have a working phone line and a pulse, you are going to get called.

The Do Not Call registry is kind of a joke. That only discourages some of them, but not all.

The point is to get off the line immediately without being rude. One can get phones nowadays that have caller ID that works for call waiting calls so you can see if its someone you want to interrupt your call for.

I don't speculate about what "they" might do. That's a waste of my time.

I don't know what you mean by saying I have no influence. I can answer/not answer, listen/not listen, or hang up. I don't know if you're aware, but some telemarketers have been successfully sued.The point is that saying "I can't talk right now" or something along those lines (such as you suggest) encourages them to call again when you CAN talk.

Actually, there have been many times when I've simbly said "Not interested, please don't call again" and never heard anymore from the caller. Not every teleparketer relentlessy calls everyone they have called before over and over and over. And being on the Do Not Call list does help.

But - I think that's the key. "Not interested, do not call again" does work a lot of the time. Not all of the time, of course.

Saying "how dare you call me now, while I'm dealing with a friend whose husband has cancer" will likely not work. It pretty much opens up "call me again at a better time".

Not sure how it works in the US and other countries, but in Australia, I've found that blocking international calls works a treat! Obviously, not everyone can do this, but we get very few marketing calls at home since blocking overseas calls coming in (we're also on the do not call list, but that on its own wasn't as effective).

A few charities I've dealt with call, as do a few banks with surveys, but that's about it.

The Do Not Call list, in the US, does not cover charitable organizations. Nor does it include companies with which you have a "relationship." relationship in this context means you ordered something from their catalog, you filled out a form at a trade show, or in any way gave them your contact information within the past year or two.

In addition to the National Do Not Call list, most companies keep their own Do Not Call list. So when you get a call that you don't want repeated, you can tell them to put your number on their Do Not Call list, and they have to do so.

I had a very similar thing happen to me several years ago. Friend wasn't dealing with cancer, but was dealing with some major life stresses and we were in a very intense conversation. Got the call and flipped to the other line because I couldn't hear her over the beeping of the call waiting. Telemarketer. I couldn't get a word in edgewise so I just put him on hold and went back to friend. He called me back to tell me how rude that was!

Dude, you called me on the phone line I pay for to try and sell me something I don't want and wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to even say a single word to you. I'm sure if I talked over you, that would have been rude. If I had waited for your spiel to stop, that would have been rude to my friend. I could have blown a whistle into the phone. That would have been phenomenally rude. Putting you on hold to go back to my emotionally distressed friend was the least rude option. I took it. Don't like it? Get another job or a thicker skin.

I couldn't hear her over the beeping of the call waiting. Telemarketer. I couldn't get a word in edgewise so I just put him on hold and went back to friend. He called me back to tell me how rude that was!

Not sure how it works in the US and other countries, but in Australia, I've found that blocking international calls works a treat!

I'm not aware of anyone having a problem with receiving international telemarketer calls.

I get a surprisingly large number of TM calls from the US despite living in Denmark.Add that to the fact that only very few Danish businesses are legally allowed to cold call, and it becomes quite a high percentage.