Duterte: Kayo talaga, ‘di na mabiro. Kailan ba kayo masasanay? Next question na nga.
——————————————————————————————————————————————-“Pathological liars can’t always tell truth from falsehood and contradict themselves in an interview. They are manipulative and are very brazen in terms of their manner.”
~Adrian Raine

Sound Bites
The attempt to withdraw from the ICC will not save anyone responsible for crimes against humanity from the ICC’s jurisdiction. The rules of the ICC are clear that it has jurisdiction over crimes committed in a state’s territory while the latter was a party to the Rome Statute.~Center for International Law

THIS BLOG’SSlam Book Series started six years ago. The most recent one was posted in 2016 – Duterte’s slam book no less. Today, we continue the series with the slam book entry of controversial and infamous communications assistant secretary Mocha Uson.

Sound Bites
“The facts are easily verifiable, the public record voluminous and indisputable — if only [Mocha Uson], her salary and the state resources at her command paid for by the people’s money, had the basic integrity to Google history instead of using her official perch to propagandize falsely, perniciously.”~Editorial: Lying and deception in post-truth world

Bonus Question:TELL-ALL. Lumabas na ang eksplosibong aklat na ‘Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House’ ng American journalist na si Michael Wolff. Former Trump strategist Steve Bannon, who was quoted in the book, said some members of the First Family believe, “The first woman president would not be Hillary Clinton; it would be ________.” Sino raw?
A: Ivanka Trump
B: Melania Trump
C: Kellyanne Conway

Did you do well?
9-10 pts.: You are awesome.
7-8: Good!
5-6: Ang lakas ng tsamba.
4 and below: Where have you been bitch?
___________________________________________________________________________“The measure of a man is what he does with power.”
~Plato

Sound Bites
“Shortly after 8 p.m. on Election Night, when the unexpected trend — Trump might actually win — seemed confirmed, Don Jr. told a friend that his father, or DJT, as he calls him, looked as if he had seen a ghost. Melania was in tears — and not of joy.”~Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House

Sound Bites
“Duterte has made a mockery of rule of law in his country. While he is not your typical corrupt leader, he has empowered corruption in an innovative way. His death squads have allegedly focused on criminals but, in fact, are less discriminating. He has empowered a bully-run system of survival of the fiercest. In the end, the Philippines is more corrupt, more cruel, and less democratic.”~Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project on its decision to name Duterte ‘Person of the Year’

EARLIERthis week, a coalition of Duterte diehards was launched in Bonifacio Global City in Taguig. Led by Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte, the ‘Tapang at Malasakit Alliance for Duterte the Philippines’ – in a pledge, called for an end to “destructive politicking”. The title of the pledge was “Note To Ourselves.”

Commemorative
The Philippine Postal Corporation issued a commemorative stamp for the 100th birth anniversary of the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos. Thank you Philpost! Martial Law victims can’t wait to spit on it.

Not Running
During the launch of Tapang at Malasakit Alliance, Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte vehemently denied reports she’s running for a national post in 2019. Even her father was like, “’Yan din ang sabi ko noon ‘day!”

Demonized
Defending his anti-drug war policy, President Duterte said, “I have been demonized” – drawing a howl of protest from the demon itself who said, “On the contrary, it was I who was Dutertefied!”

Smuggled
Myanmar had seized $4.6 million worth of smuggled crystal methamphetamine or shabu. Myanmar President Htin Kyaw was quick to deny rumors his eldest son, Pulong Kyaw was involved in the smuggling of the shabu shipment.

Drug Lords
Revealing! A government witness has tagged Mar Roxas and Sen. Franklin Drilon as drug operators in the Visayas. Even more revealing, the witness says Roxas and Drilon are using the code names Tita Nani and Pulong in drug transactions.

Joke
On radio, Martin Andanar defended his distasteful comments and insisted he was just joking. Which was totally unnecessary since his mere presence was in itself a bigger joke.
———————————————————————————————————————————-“Silence is complicity. Speak now or surrender your ground.”
~Michelle Malkin

ISNILON HAPILON and Omar Maute are dead. A salute to our soldiers! That’s the good news: Marawi has been liberated from terrorists. The bad news is the country has yet to be liberated from Duterte.

President Duterte said martial law in Mindanao would not be lifted “until the last terrorist is taken out.” That’s not a problem, Mr. President. You just stay in Manila; don’t go to Mindanao.

Modernization
President Duterte warned jeepney operators of a crackdown if they don’t modernize their units by the end of the year. “January! ‘Pag ‘di kayo na-modernize, umalis kayo,” said Duterte who once gave himself six months to curb drugs and criminality or he would resign.

Old jeepneys emit too much carbon dioxide and put the health of Filipinos at risk, according to Duterte – an old president who emits too much vitriol and puts the entire nation at risk.

Scary
Halloween is the time of the year when a number of people wear masks and costumes to hide their true selves, hoping to win the top prize. It’s also called elections.

People are now talking about Halloween parties. In Davao, President Duterte’s grandchildren have an annual tradition. They scare their Lolo Digong by wearing menacing costumes. For this year’s Halloween party, Duterte’s grandchildren will come as human bank waivers.

Bad Weather
Super-typhoon Paolo is the latest weather disturbance to enter the Philippines. Many Filipinos are not aware though that Paolo has entered the Philippine Area of Responsibility. Even President Duterte never spoke about it. If super-typhoon Paolo makes a landfall, experts fear the damage to agriculture and infrastructure may reach 6.4B pesos.

Transferred
Reports say Lorraine Badoy-Partosa has been appointed undersecretary of the presidential communications office. The controversial Ka-DDS used to be an assistant secretary at the Social Welfare department. The transfer is hardly surprising since it’s public knowledge that Lorraine’s only concern is the welfare of Rodrigo Duterte.

Graft Case
Former Caloocan City Mayor Recom Echeverri, who is facing nine counts of graft, refused to enter a plea on two counts. The court automatically made a plea on his behalf. It entered a plea of “not surprised.”

Losing Streak
The UST Growling Tigers are still winless in men’s basketball. They have been beaten nine straight times this season. Experts say if UST wants to BEAT its rivals, the coaching staff should hire members of the Aegis Jvris Fraternity.

Based on a detailed chat group log, members of the Aegis Jvris Fraternity intended to cover up the death of hazing victim Horatio Castillo III. Some 30 frat members in the chat group discussed how to conceal evidence; reach a settlement with Castillo’s parents, and find ways to explain to their wives and girlfriends why their balls suddenly went missing.

Unsafe
According to Safe Cities Index 2017, Manila is one of the least safe cities in the world. It ranked 55th out of 60 cities. At No. 1, Tokyo was named the safest city while Singapore came in second place prompting Alan Peter Cayetano to demand a recount.

Unsafe Indeed
A Miss Earth 2017 candidate was robbed in Manila. Her cellphone was snatched. The victim was identified as Polli Cannabis, Miss Belarus. Worse, when Miss Cannabis reported the incident to the police, she was asked to undergo a drug test.
_____________________________________________________________________________________“A man don’t need to act tough if he is. Men that put on a show are spineless more often than not.”
~Eric Powell, ‘The Goon’

Sound Bites
“Based on the Information itself, the accusation of illegal trade of drugs against petitioner is blatantly a pure invention. This court, the last bulwark of democracy and liberty in the land, should never countenance such a fake charge.”~Associate Justice Antonio Carpio’s dissenting opinion on the Leila De Lima case

Unfit
Lawmakers who rejected the appointment of Gina Lopez to the DENR described her as “unfit” and “acting as if she were above the law.” To be fair to Gina Lopez, she’s just taking her cue from the President.

Delusional
A fish vendor died last weekend when the New People’s Army attacked several facilities of the Lapanday Foods Corporation in Davao City. A fuming Mayor Sara Duterte hit the Communist rebels saying they’re “delusional” and “living in an alternate universe.” In response, the NPA said, “Wrong! We’re not living in an alternate universe.”

Delusional II
According to Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte, Communist rebels are “delusional people” who live in an “alternate universe.” The statement has fueled speculations the NPA rebels are on fentanyl, too.

Monsters
In a strongly worded statement, Inday Sara Duterte said the attacks of the New People’s Amy “should always remind us of the twistedness of an ideology and the monsters behind it, how they employ fear and terror in their attempt to cloak their insignificance and the obsolescence of their political belief.” The statement was titled, ‘Note to Dad.’

No Endorser
Last May 2, Duterte fanatic and ‘Impeach Leni Movement’ leader Bruce Rivera claimed the impeachment complaint they drafted against the vice president was “received” by a congressman whose name was mentioned in the document. But the solon, identified later as PBA Party-list Rep. Jericho Nograles, immediately disowned the complaint and denied knowing anything about it. It was a bad day for Bruce Rivera and his cohorts. In totally unrelated news… that same day, the Senate approved the Mental Health Care Act.

New Words
More than 300 words have been added to online database Dictionary.com and Oxforddictionaries.com. Some of the words added in 2017 were ‘cheat day,’ ‘sausage party,’ and ‘sext.’ It’s easy to find these new entries online because beside each word, there’s an image of Kiefer Ravena.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-“In reality, everybody in Congress is a stand-in for some kind of lobbyist. In many cases it’s difficult to tell whether it’s the companies that are lobbying the legislators or whether it’s the other way around.”
~Matt Taibbi, American author and journalist

Sound Bites
“Badly thought-out, ill-conceived drug policies not only fail to address substantively drug dependency, drug-related criminality, and the drug trade, they add more problems, as has been well documented, around the world.”~Agnes Callamard, United Nations Special Rapporteur on Extrajudicial, Summary, or Arbitrary Executions

For the last 48 hours, the issue of the “Na-ano lang” comment has spun out of control. Tonight, I want to set the record straight. You deserve an explanation from me, because you are the people I was elected to serve.

As you recall, the confirmation hearing was unnecessarily dull even with comedians in the committee including yours truly, Manny Pacquiao and several others.

I was anxious to keep the energy in the room and during that time had conversations with many people, including DSWD Sec. Judy Taguiwalo. My intent was not to humiliate the Secretary, and it did not.

That said, let me tell you how I personally feel. I recognize that making such joke was a lapse in judgment. I AM SORRY. I take full responsibility for my actions and to you and to all those good citizens who may have had their faith shaken by these events. I want to assure you that I have redoubled my efforts to serve the nation and earn your trust.

As my late father told me, “Do what is right, do your best and let God take care of the rest.”.

That is why I want to close this chapter and move on with the business of governing. I ask each and everyone of you to join hands with me in a show of unity, to help forge one Philippines, where everyone is equal under the law, and everybody has the opportunity to use their God-given talents to make a better life.

God bless the Philippines!
—————————————————————————————————————————————–“I’ve learned two things the hard way: You can’t fix stupid and you shouldn’t use up your patience to fix stupid.”
~Karen A. Baquiran

Sound Bites
“[You have] Two daughters? But you are single. In the street language, when you have children and you are single, ang tawag lang ay na-ano lang.”~Tito Sotto to DSWD Sec. Judy Taguiwalo

MANILA MAYOR Joseph Estrada celebrated his 80th birthday recently at the Manila Hotel. In attendance were the who’s who of Philippine politics like President Duterte, former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and husband Mike, former vice president Jejomar Binay, detained ex-senator Jinggoy Estrada, former senator Juan Ponce Enrile, Bongbong Marcos, and Imelda Marcos. When Satan saw this group photo, he said, “Uwian na bes. Nanalo na ako.”

Most Influential
Duterte fanatics are livid. The President topped TIME’s online poll for its annual most influential people list but the TIME 100 write up written by former Colombian president Cesar Gaviria was critical of the government’s war on drugs. Fanatics are appealing to their fellow Ka-DDS to boycott TIME – a news magazine which, they neither read nor buy to begin with.

Honoris Causa
Amid protests from UP students, faculty and alumni, President Duterte declined the offer of the State University’s Board of Regents (BOR) to confer him the Doctor of Laws degree, honoris causa. Records show the honorary degree for Duterte was proposed by UP President Danny Concepcion. The motion was seconded by Regents Angelo Jimenez and Frederick Farolan, both Duterte appointees in the BOR. Despite Duterte’s rejection of the honorary degree, Malacañang assured Farolan and Jimenez there are other ways to win Order of Lapu-Lapu (award) from the President in the future.

VP’s Birthday
Last April 23, Vice President Leni Robredo quietly spent her 52nd birthday at home with her family. Mocha Uson and Bruce Rivera are still figuring out which part of the celebration is an impeachable offense.
_________________________________________________________________________________“You should not honor men more than truth.”
~Plato

Sound Bites
“With due respect to the University of the Philippines, I do not accept even when I was mayor. As a matter of personal and official policy, I do not accept awards. I simply decline. Kasi hindi ako tumtanggap, ever since.”~President Duterte

CONGRATULATIONS to President Duterte for topping the TIME readers’ poll of the “most influential” people in the world this year. The magazine was quick to clarify however, those who voted for Duterte were not actually TIME readers but TIME bashers. Still, congratulations!

Kris
Congratulations also to Kris Aquino for landing an acting project in Hollywood. Unconfirmed reports say she is set to do the remake of the hit comedy from the year 2000 starring Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott. The movie’s working title is “Dude, Where’s My Career?”

Order of Lapu-Lapu
President Duterte recently announced the creation of the Order of Lapu-Lapu, an award for anyone who will render “invaluable or extraordinary service to a campaign or advocacy of the President.” In short, ‘asslickers.’

Order of Lapu-Lapu II
When asked why he decided to name the award ‘Order of Lapu-Lapu,’ President Duterte said, “Masyadong susyal kung ‘Order of Stonefish.’”

Distrust
Vice President Leni Robredo recorded the highest distrust rating among the top national officials, the latest Pulse Asia survey showed. In totally unrelated news, Malacañang will confer the Order of Lapu-Lapu on Mocha Uson and Duterte’s keyboard warriors.

Distrust II
According to the latest Pulse Asia survey, the number of Filipinos who distrust Vice President Leni Robredo is higher than those who distrust self-confessed two-timer, death penalty advocate and traditional politician Pantaleon Alvarez. Meanwhile, another Pulse Asia survey revealed Leni Robredo has the worst PR team.

Protest Fee
Less than 24 hours after the Supreme Court ordered Bongbong Marcos to pay the election protest fee of 66.2-million pesos (either in full or installment basis), the defeated vice presidential candidate immediately paid 36 million pesos. In the words of Imelda Marcos, “Maliit na bagay.”

Junket
Duterte fanatic and sex blogger Mocha Uson as well as controversial ex-jueteng bagman, and defeated senatorial candidate Sandra Cam joined President Duterte in his recent visit to the Middle East. The delegation has returned the other day. Uson and Cam can’t wait for the next junket with the President. Let’s hope the universe cooperates and those two get booked on a United Airlines flight.
______________________________________________________________________________________“I get so tired listening to ‘One million dollars here; one million dollars there.’ It’s so petty.”
~Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“Indeed Filipinos find in the President a kindred spirit – a leader who acts for the common good,~Palace spokesman Ernesto Abella on Duterte’s topping the TIME online poll

“Well, I don’t need to tell you what I did because I’m not that kind of person.”~Sandra Cam when asked how was she helping the OFWs

THE CHRISTIANtradition of Lent culminates this Holy Week. It’s the season of betrayal, abandonment, pain and suffering. Or as that’s also called, “the past eight months.”

Many Christians have given up something for Lent: junk food, smoking, infidelity, alcohol, etc. You know, the bad things. In fact, many thinking Filipinos are ‘giving up’ this administration.

In different parts of the country, expect to see senakulo – a play depicting the life and sufferings of Jesus. Manny Pacquiao and our congressmen will surely enjoy that moment when Jesus is sentenced to death.

President Duterte is invited to attend the senakulo organized by PNP Chief Bato De La Rosa. In the modern version of the play, Jesus suffered, and was later, killed inside Camp Crame.

Also in that play, relatives of ‘Jesus’ easily identified his lifeless body. There was a cardboard sign that reads, “Nagmamagaling ako. Huwag tularan.”

On Facebook, a furious Mocha Uson lambasted the organizers of a senakulo for rejecting her during the auditions. Apparently, she wanted to play the role of the Virgin – her lifelong dream.

To fulfill her dream, Mocha Uson and her Ka-DDS friends, Jimmy Bondoc, Arnell Ignacio, Kat De Castro and Vivian Velez produced their own stage play. In their version of the senakulo, the fanatics crucified Leni Robredo.
——————————————————————————————————————————————“All spiritual practices are illusions created by illusionists to escape illusion.”
~Ram Dass

Sound Bites
“You know, you’re just a f—ing employee, why don’t you have a heart for the poor? You know you are so young and you’re already bought by the greed and selfishness. I don’t like it.”~DENR Sec. Gina Lopez to BusinessWorld reporter Janina Lim

THERE WASa gathering of Duterte fanatics led by Mocha Uson, Jimmy Bondoc, Kat De Castro, Vivian Velez and erstwhile Janet Napoles lawyer Bruce Rivera in Luneta last April 2. The group called for the ouster of Vice President Leni Robredo. According to the NCR Police Office, the rally attracted only 3,500 Ka-DDS – prompting a local sanitary inspector to drop by the venue after receiving reports the rally was “nilalangaw.”

3,500
#PalitBise organizers Mocha Uson, Jimmy Bondoc, Arnell Ignacio, Vivian Velez and Bruce Rivera could only mobilize 3,500 of their fellow Ka-DDS for Sunday’s rally in Luneta. To give you some perspective, the number of EJK victims was even larger.

Online Appeal
Organizers appealed to their fellow Ka-DDS online to join the Luneta rally on Sunday. “Thousands” were not able to show up though because, you know, computers cannot attend rallies.

Shame
Jimmy Bondoc called on Vice President Leni Robredo to “stop shaiming” President Duterte. He also appealed to the international media to “stop maligning” the President. He then insisted, “Dead bodies are only on the TV screens.” When President Duterte heard these statements, he asked Bondoc, “Binigyan na kita ng puwesto ‘di ba? Ano pa bang gusto mo?”

Lectures
Some 3,500 Ka-DDS members including Mocha Uson, Jimmy Bondoc, Kat De Castro, Arnell Ignacio, Vivian Velez, and former Napoles lawyer Bruce Rivera attended the #PalitBise rally in Luneta. In fiery speeches, organizers lectured critics on how to treat the President “fairly.” In response, critics lectured the organizers on how to spell ‘shaiming’ correctly.

#PalitBise
Organizer Jimmy Bondoc said he created the hashtag #PalitBise for the rally. And the hashtags #PalitCareer and #HindiBusy for the organizers.

Top 5 Movie Remakes Inspired by the #PalitBise Rally of Duterte Fanatics Led By Mocha Uson, Jimmy Bondoc, Vivian Velez, Arnell Ignacio and Kat De Castro in Luneta

And the No. 1 movie remake inspired by the #PalitBise rally in Luneta:

Fanatic Beasts and Where to Find Them
___________________________________________________________________________________“Fanatics are like debris following the course of the wind, they are swept around like sand, and convinced to believe in what they do not understand.”
~Michael Bassey Johnson

Sound Bites
“’Yung mga statements na ganoon, nahihirapan kaming i-sell ang Philippines so I hope we could kung puwede even… this does not only refer to VP Leni but also to the media to please medyo i-tone down natin yung [reports] on extrajudicial killings.”~Tourism Sec. Wanda Tulfo-Teo

ElsewhereThe New York Times:
“Violence in the house, violence in the school and violence in the neighborhood. That is why he is always angry. Because if you have pain when you are young, you are angry all the time.”

12: Earlier this week, nag-trend ang “Bernard Palanca” sa Twitter. Bakit?
A: Nagkaroon siya ng “spiritual renewal”
B: Inakusahan siya ng pananakal
C: Nakipag-duet siya ng ‘Flashlight’ kay Jessie J.
________________________________________________________________________________“Since governments take the right of death over their people, it is not astonishing if the people should sometimes take the right of death over governments.”
~Guy de Maupassant

Sound Bites
“I need not do that. Hindi na kailangan. I will not create a DDS, may police department ako.”~President Duterte on his alleged ties with the so-called Davao Death Squad (DDS)