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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hello Dad!

I am exploring all avenues to find the cause of my Migraines.

Rozalin suggested that I see an Osteopath and I did not really know what an Osteopath did so had a look to see. It sounded all right so I went to visit Frau Winkel who has done wonders for Rozalin in the past.

Turns out she is not a normal Osteopath - she is a sort of alternative Osteopath. After many questions she decided that my headaches were caused by my childhood.

This was followed by a body examination to confirm that all my internal organs are in the right places (they are). This ruled out a medical reason for the headaches so we moved onto other possibilities.

We embarked on a short program of Klopfen (tapping on various parts of the anatomy) followed by some meditation with suitable mystical music.

For the main course I was required to choose a stuffed animal from a pile of stuffed animals and – pretending it was my father – tell it all those things that I had not had the opportunity to tell him when I was a child.

I chose a Chocolate colored Moose - which proved to be a bad choice because it totally lacked credibility and looked nothing like my father.

Anyway Frau Winkel left me alone with the Chocolate Moose and I spoke to it in the manner I was supposed to for a while and told it some of the things I think I may have told my father if I had the opportunity.

After this the Moose was given a shake to rid it of any bad vibes it had picked up from me – I was relieved of €100 and told to come back in a week.

When I told Rozalin what had happened to me she said that her treatment involved physical rather than spiritual intervention.

Look – I have an open mind about many things but I have grave reservations about this type of treatment. I think this has as much chance of working as a trip to Lourdes.

In the Church of the Holy Sepulchure in Jerusalem there is something called the Stone of Unction. This stone commemorates the anointment of Jesus before his burial. We saw hordes of people around this rubbing cloths over it and had no idea what they were doing.

An Indian woman explained to us that they rubbed the cloth on the stone to get the ‘scent of Jesus’ and when they got home they cut the cloth into small pieces to give to their family and friends.

Except that this is not the actual stone on which his body was laid – if indeed there was a stone - or even a body. The stone was put there in 1810.

That is the kind of faith I would need to get the Chocolate Moose to work – and I just don’t have that sort of faith.