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"Unless you have young ones that love princesses it isn't worth your money."Photo: Angelo Cavalli/Corbis

Tellingly titled "Not What Was Expected and Not In A Good Way," this young detractor's one-star TripAdvisor review is on par with the kind of takedown you'd expect from Ratatouille's Ego. "Unless you have young ones that love princesses," she starts off, "it isn't worth your money." The first thing to understand about this German 10-year-old who writes TripAdvisor reviews is that she does not love princesses. In fact, her understanding was that her family had not signed up for character dining — the first misrepresentation of many: "When we walked in they had a photo opportunity with Cinderella and Prince Charming which we tried to bypass but were told 'Oh no you have to stay for it, it is part of the experience!'"

Her family's whole reason for dining at the Royal Table — it turns out, a tougher score than a two-top at Noma — was its "highly recommended" menu. But the waiter had the gall to give the mini-gourmand a kid's menu full of "chicken nuggets and … other traditional counter service items," then argued that the 10-year-old might not be able to finish an adult meal.

Things got worse from there, specifically in the form of more unwanted princess picture-taking, and the food arrived "cold and relatively tasteless." And the clientele? "Let it be said that the entire time we spent there, [there] were little children running around screaming and yelling, chasing the princesses, and hitting each other with the little plastic wands." She does award three stars for service, but all in all, "the experience was not what was expected and was a complete madhouse with a lackluster staff. Save your money and go to basically anywhere else in WDW." The verdict? This may be the place where you go to wish upon stars, but that doesn't mean the Cinderella restaurant deserves any at all.