Trauma after husband left postpartum

This is mostly a cry for assurance but I need to vent. My husband left me two months postpartum, keeping me busy with mind games while he did some self reflection about his life. I clung onto it with hope because it was so sudden. I had PPD (postpartum depression) so the mind games were so hard to cope with. I was at nervous breakdown. After three months of waiting around I called it quits and told him I can’t wait around for him. Some days I coast through as I realize how little he cared about me and our son (he goes a couple of weeks without even visiting me and our son. I moved to my parents). But last night I wished death on my ex which was awful since it was his birthday yesterday and the trauma came back full force. Does this get any easier with time? When will I stop thinking about this man? Does the hurt ever go away? Does the trust for a man ever return? Will I ever feel close to whole again? I feel like there’s so much love inside me that’s got nowhere to go anymore and I can’t breathe. Thank you for listening.

Comments (30)

So sorry momma. I had awful postpartum and almost lost everything because of how sick I got. I can comiserate. But if he doesn't care then you need to focus 100% on you and your new son. You need all the support and kindness you can get right now. I promise in a few months you will feel better and be more clear headed. Make sure you are getting meds and therapy. Postpartum is no joke and it can get really bad especially during traumatic times like these.

Really sorry you are going through this. Find someone to talk to about all of your feelings. Find a good attorney and file for divorce, custody, and support. The longer you allow him to play these mind games the longer it will take to heal. Good luck to you.

Hang in there girl I promise it’ll get better. I suffered ppd and it was awful. I still have my days where I think about how much I miss my old carefree life😞. Be so thankful that you have your parents to help and support you. Not everyone has that and while it

Didn’t work out with the baby’s father it sounds like he is a deadbeat anyways and your son DESERVES better and YOU DO TOO. Sending you love and joy...

I went through something similar with an ex. You know what helped more than anything? When I finally accepted we weren't going to get back together and that I needed to focus on looking forward and not looking back thinking "what if".

Deciding to move on combined with therapy has helped me tremendously. I've since met and married someone else and time has healed my heart. I can't imagine ever being with my ex now. Even if DH (dear husband) and I divorced, I wouldn't go calling my ex.

All that is to say YES, it hurts, but it does get better. I'm proof. Sending you hugs.

Thank you so much for the support you’re all so lovely. For the ladies who went through this and found happiness afterwards, I am so happy for you. Please tell me how and when you found out you’ve healed!

So sorry momma. I had awful postpartum and almost lost everything because of ...

Posted
02/04/2018

So sorry momma. I had awful postpartum and almost lost everything because of how sick I got. I can comiserate. But if he doesn't care then you need to focus 100% on you and your new son. You need all the support and kindness you can get right now. I promise in a few months you will feel better and be more clear headed. Make sure you are getting meds and therapy. Postpartum is no joke and it can get really bad especially during traumatic times like these.

That’s partly why I eventually decided to never, ever engage with my husband again. He knew that I was in such deep trouble with PPD (postpartum depression) but he broke the news that he no longer loved me and didn’t during pregnancy right when I had started medication for it. It was like pushing me off a cliff. Can never get over how he traumatized me when I was weak.

That’s partly why I eventually decided to never, ever engage with my husban...

Posted
02/04/2018

That’s partly why I eventually decided to never, ever engage with my husband again. He knew that I was in such deep trouble with PPD but he broke the news that he no longer loved me and didn’t during pregnancy right when I had started medication for it. It was like pushing me off a cliff. Can never get over how he traumatized me when I was weak.

I’m so sorry you are going through this... find yourself a good therapist if you haven’t already. I agree with pp- focus on your son. Forget the mind games and shitty husband. File for divorce, custody, and support. You can do this. You are stronger than you realize. Look into state assistance programs to help get you back on your feet.

There’s no good time to tell someone you no longer love them- he should of left right then and there instead of stringing you along.. he’s a complete asshole who is holding on to you as a back up Incase his new freedom doesn’t work out... You are so much better than that and deserve so much more as does your son. You can do this mama. It hurts now but it will get better. Trusts me.. it does.

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