What’s The Difference Between Feelings And Emotions?

Although the two words are used interchangeably, there are distinct differences between feelings and emotions.

Ok. Big deal.

Well, it kind of is a big deal because understanding the difference between the two can help you change unhealthy behaviors and find more happiness and peace in your life. Feelings and emotions are two sides of the same coin and highly interconnected, but are two very different things.

Emotions

Emotions are lower level responses occurring in the subcortical regions of the brain, the amygdala and the ventromedial prefrontal cortices, creating biochemical reactions in your body altering your physical state. They originally helped our species survive by producing quick reactions to threat, reward, and everything in between in their environments. Emotional reactions are coded in our genes and while they do vary slightly individually and depending on circumstances, are generally universally similar across all humans and even other species. For example, you smile and your dog wags its tail.

The amygdala play a role in emotional arousal and regulate the release of neurotransmitters essential for memory consolidation which is why emotional memories can be so much stronger and longer-lasting. Emotions proceed feelings, are physical, and instinctual. Because they are physical, they can be objectively measured by blood flow, brain activity, facial micro-expressions, and body language.

Feelings

Feelings originate in the neocortical regions of the brain, are mental associations and reactions to emotions, and are subjective being influenced by personal experience, beliefs, and memories. A feeling is the mental portrayal of what is going on in your body when you have an emotion and is the byproduct of your brain perceiving and assigning meaning to the emotion. Feelings are the next thing that happens after having an emotion, involve cognitive input, usually subconscious, and cannot be measured precisely.

Antonio D’Amasio, professor of neuroscience at The University of California and author of several books on the subject, explains it as:

Feelings are mental experiences of body states, which arise as the brain interprets emotions, themselves physical states arising from the body’s responses to external stimuli. (The order of such events is: I am threatened, experience fear, and feel horror.)

Emotions play out in the theater of the body. Feelings play out in the theater of the mind.

Feelings are sparked by emotions and colored by the thoughts, memories, and images that have become subconsciously linked with that particular emotion for you. But it works the other way around too. For example, just thinking about something threatening can trigger an emotional fear response. While individual emotions are temporary, the feelings they evoke may persist and grow over a lifetime. Because emotions cause subconscious feelings which in turn initiate emotions and so on, your life can become a never-ending cycle of painful and confusing emotions which produce negative feelings which cause more negative emotions without you ever really knowing why.

While basic emotions are instinctual and common to us all, the meanings they take on and the feelings they prompt are individual based on our programming past and present. Feelings are shaped by a person’s temperament and experiences and vary greatly from person to person and situation to situation.

Your emotions and feelings play a powerful role in how you experience and interact with the world because they are the driving force behind many behaviors, helpful and unhelpful. It’s possible to react to emotions and the feelings they evoke which are guided by unconscious fear-based perceptions which you may not buy into anymore, yet you’re living your life, making decision and behaving according to these out-dated tendencies. Living unaware like this almost always leads to problems and unhappiness in the long run.

Putting The Difference To Good Use In Your Life

By understanding the difference between and becoming aware of your emotions and feelings, determining which is which and their root causes, and then inserting conscious thought followed by deliberate action, you can choose how you navigate and experience the world. Being able to do this means responding or reacting which can make the difference in a calm or chaotic life.

I don’t mean to imply that by becoming aware of emotions and feelings and learning to respond rather than react that life will magically become filled with rainbows and butterflies. I am suggesting that by learning the difference and changing your thinking and behavior, that no matter what is going on around you, you can maintain your balance, your sense of peace, purpose, and hope and move forward toward your goals.

For example in my 18 year marriage, my ex-husband held all the power and control, was emotionally cruel, and uncaring. In the years following our divorce, he continued the treatment by harassing me legally as he drug me in and out of court for a decade with false allegations of endangering the children, cohabitation, and more. I learned to fear him and his actions. It got to the point where if I just saw an email from him in my inbox, my heart would start pounding, my breathing would become rapid and shallow, and I would actually start sweating. Then, I would soon feel dread, anxious, and worried. My body was exhibiting the instinctual emotion of fear followed by the feelings I had learned to associate with him.

During the marriage and for years after, I reacted from this fearful place as the overly emotional, angry victim who fought back. As the years passed after the divorce, I slowly evolved, began to live more mindfully, and learned a different way. It took years, but I was eventually able to not knee-jerk react to his antics and to consciously and deliberately choose my feelings and behaviors according to who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life. When I mastered this skill, life calmed way down for me, and I managed to find peace and happiness despite the fact that he continued his attacks on me. (See blog: Bad Things Do Happen To Good People)

While I was in the process of growing, it would frustrate me to no end because my heart would still pound upon just getting a message from him. I felt like my body was betraying me while, in my head, I knew better and remained calm and confident. My body still exhibited the emotion, but I inserted conscious thought and instructed myself as to how I wanted to feel and proceed.

In the gaps between emotion, feeling, and acting, we all have the power to change and direct our lives for the better. Understanding your emotions and managing your feelings with conscious thinking so they don’t hijack your brain followed by conscious action can actually change your brain through neuroplasticity, the scientifically proven ability of your brain to change form and function based on repeated emotion, thought, and behavior, and change your life.

Note – When researching this article I found that there is differing, contradictory even, information out there on the subject of emotions and feelings. My resources for this post primarily come from the work of Antonio D’Amasio and other neuroscience and mental health professionals. This is one interpretation of feelings and emotions, but is by no means the only “right” one.

Debbie,
I relieved a horrible relationship that we had with some neighbors that made my body do just what yours did. I promised myself I wouldn’t feel that way but then sure enough I’d feel that way. It took years to get over. Thanks for the well written article!

dblhampton

Betsy,

Thanks for sharing your experience. I learned that I couldn’t control my emotions and did not need to. What I needed to control was my feelings and behaviors. I still get a little ancy when I see an email from him, but I’ve made so much progress! Feels good. Glad you healed from your dealings with your neighbors.

Interesting Debbie, feelings v emotions. I think ultimately they both create a vibration within which leads to more of the same in our outer physical world..viz-a-vis your experience with your ex. As you explain so clearly the answer lies with choosing what feelings we actually want and how we decide to perceive the event…a sort of reality check if you will.
Of course, simple to say and a bit of effort required to do! 🙂

dblhampton

Elle, thank you for your insights. Yes, as with everything on the growth path…much easier said than done, but well worth the effort! Becoming aware and choosing my perception and feelings has changed my world for the better.

Just came across your website. I recently suffered a traumatic accident in which I am in the process of understanding more about how the brain works and how I can overcome what happened to me by learning how the brain works. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and story, it’s inspiring!

Another one of your best blog posts! I loved that you explain a common ‘misunderstood’ words explain it perfectly and than give some private examples as well! please do for more phrases as this and [personality and character] ya i can’t forget soo good things! 🙂

It is the opinion of the author, and not based in science. It does have some merit.

Lynn Evans

Many thanks Debbie, my feelings too.

johnspeed114

I sorta disagree with the definition of feelings and emotions. For me, feelings are the information from your senses including the current physical state of your body, while emotion triggered by the event drives from past experiences.

Hi Debbie, you seem to know your stuff. And it`s wonderful that you think you`ve become less reactive to your husband`s communication.

I`ve always used these two terms the other way around, considered feelings the `raw` versions of emotions, the pure energetic quality you feel when you decide to fully feel the emotion until it fills up your consciousness and turns into neutral energy. I`ll be using them according to your interpretation here.

I`ve found that when I change my relationship with my `story` about what happened and take full responsibility for it, I begin to tell it differently. This involves talking about the events by mentioning observations instead of evaluations and judgements, like you used in talking about your 18 years of marriage. No doubt it still has got some control over your emotions and feelings, as you`ve mentioned.

Even though you didn`t mention you work with meanings, I believe the way you control your feelings is by becoming aware of the negative meaning you give to what is happening (or you imagine is going to happen) and dissolve it. This in turn changes the negative feeling.

You are still saying that your interactions with your husbans still trigger emotions in you but you can deal with the feelings now.

Our emotions are never created by the meaning we give to events, only our feelings are.

Negative emotions are automatically created by events that pose a Real threat to our survival or reproduction and obviously getting an email from your ex-husband doesn`t count as a real threat to these.

Since you identify these as emotions, and emotions are not triggered by meaning, they must be created by Conditioning. That is, your feelings, caused by false interpretations of not being able to survive (you and/or your children) and being powerless against what your husband was doing, were conditioned to the occasions when you were in contact with him in all those different ways in person, through email etc.

Even when your beliefs that say “I`m powerless”, “What I want/need/feel doesn`t matter” “I never get what I want” “I`m not good enough” etc. are eliminated and you stop giving negative meaning to what is happening, you will still have a general sense of fear and powerlessness. This is because these states were associated with your husband contacting you, by those events and your states of being repeatedly happening together.

If you think you`ve got rid of all the underlying beliefs and meanings you give to events in the moment (which you may not have done yet), the negative state that has been conditioned to communicating with your husband will need to be addressed too before the story can truly change. It can be as easy as realising that you used to be dependent on your husband, like you used to be on your parents when you were a child when you were feeling powerless and abused around him, but now you`ve gained the ability to set your boundaries and meet your own needs and in today`s changed circumstances communicating with him wouldn`t cause you negative feelings. It only caused negative feelings to your old `child` self that was dealing with your husband in that marriage when these things became associated and conditioned with each other. Consciously differentiating between the two and realising that your circumstances (you) have changed, will help. Trying this trick might help you turn this story into a magnificent epic of empowerment and personal responsibility.

Thank you for your many thoughts! 🙂 In researching the article, the definition of feelings being in the mind and emotions being in the body is universally accepted. However, sounds like you have a different way of thinking about them which works for you. That’s what it is all about and what matters. And yes, our experience of this life, feelings and emotions all boil down to the meaning we give to everything. Therein lies our power to create our wn peace and happiness. All the best to you!

Jeremiah Overland

I made a video about some of the different feelings we humans have.
Check it out!

Ahmed Derradji-Aouat

OK, the play between emotions and feeling. How do I release the entire experience (feelings and emotions)? How emotionsfeelings are stored in subconscious – they seem permanent?

Subconscious is pervasive, but not permanent and can be changed. You have to become aware of your beliefs and thoughts and consciously work to change them. Mindfulness, meditation, thought reframing, cognitive behavioral therapy, Byron Katie’s “The Work”, Jeffrey Schwartz four Rs, (all covered on this website, just search a term in the box in the upper right corner) can change core beliefs.