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Friday, April 24

The Love Boat

The following is an analogy that I use when talking with people who identify themselves as non - poly, to assist them in finding some commonality with people who identify themselves as Polyamorous.

Picture a multi-decked ocean liner out at sea.The "Sea of Life" is the energy field we live in.The various decks of the ocean liners represent various ways of relating.

Everyone enters onto the boat through the main deck. It is the basic starting point. Since all humans have the capacity to love and to love more than one person we’ll call this deck: "Polyamory" By it’s broadest definition, Polyamory means multiple loves. So, if you love your mother AND your father you can be considered Polyamorous. If you love BOTH your children, you are Polyamorous. And some even argue that if you love yourself AND your partner, you are Polyamorous etc. etc.

The 2nd Deck is called "Poly - Sensual". If you enjoy having your shoulders rubbed, your hair caressed, your back tickled or receiving a warm hug from more than one person....then it's reasonable to say that you are Poly - Sensual. so come on up to the 2nd Deck! I think you will find that many people fall into this category.

At the next level, if you allow yourself to express and enjoy having romantic feelings towards more than one person then you could be considered poly – Romantic. Welcome to Deck 3: Poly – Romantic.

The 4th and final deck is where people enjoy engage in sexual relations with more than one person at the same time. There are far less people on the top deck compared to the mainstream bottom deck. And the top deck hosts a variety of different styles of sexual expression: sexual play stopping short of intercourse, package deals, kink, gender specific poly, fluid monogamous, unlimited sexual play etc.

Now, take a moment to consider what Deck of the Ocean liner you might place yourself on. Realize also, that we are constantly evolving and our relating stlye can vary from one point in our life to the next. We may at times feel very Poly - Sensual, Romantic or Sexual and at other times not so much. If you ever "fantasize about" or "feel that you would enjoy" being Sensual, Romantic or Sexual with someone other than your partner (ie: more than one person.....and who hasn't at some point in their life?)....then it may be reasonable to consider that you may be Poly - Sensual, Romantic or Sexual and have just been suppressing it!?

This analogy is intended to assist in increasing comfort with the often misunderstood concept of Polyamory. Once we remove some of the irrational fear of the unknown, it may be possible for some individuals to open up to aspects of themselves that they may have been suppressing or denying due to social conditioning. Thanks to the “Love Boat” metaphor many find polyamory a bit more accessible!