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Monthly Archives: July 2014

Public speaking skills are valuable both in your personal life and career. Even if you don’t regularly engage in public speaking, developing skills in this area will increase your confidence and reduce anxiety about situations in which you may be called upon to speak in public. Below are some key skills held by good public speakers.

Being fearless is not about a lack of fear. It’s about taking that fear and transforming it into excitement and energy around your message. It’s like fire. We can either look at the fire and say “oh, that might burn something, I have to put it out…” in which case we end up with a sad pile of cinders. Or we can stick a barbecue on top of the fire and turn it into something useful for ourselves and our friends.

In a similar way, your fire as a speaker could be used in the right way to inspire your audience. From here you find deeply confident public speaking, rather than the superficial confidence that comes with ‘managing’ your nerves.

On a practical level, then, how do you develop fearless, confident public speaking?

HOW TO BECOME FEARLESS INGREDIENT 1: Positive mental imagery

Psychologists have found that deeply confident public speakers actually see themselves that way in their mental imagery. If your mental imagery is constantly reinforcing your lack of confidence, this is what will show up in your speaking.

HOW TO BECOME FEARLESS INGREDIENT 2: Visualizing public speaking success.

The saboteur or ‘inner vampire’ is the negative inner dialogue that can surround your speaking. Most of us have some kind of inner dialogue that diminishes our confidence as a speaker, if we chose to believe it. So get aware of negative ‘thoughts inside the head’ and picture yourself chucking your inner saboteur over a cliff. Yes. That. Do it.

HOW TO BECOME FEARLESS INGREDIENT 4: A juicy stage persona.

Confident public speaking is not about putting on an act, but it can help to adopt a stage persona that helps you stretch into the full and fearless parts of your character. This key is that this is you – it’s just a fuller version of you unleashed on stage.

We’ve all been there: Sitting at a desk or table studying intently, and then…Wham! Thoughts from all over the place invade our brains and we get distracted. If it’s not our thoughts, it’s our roommates. Or neighbors. Or kids.

These study intruders take over, causing us to lose focus. And focus, friends, is what you need to be able to study for any of the big tests.

So how do you focus?

These six steps will show you how to regain focus if you get distracted, and how to set yourself up for focus success before your study session ever begins.

1.Get Rid of Obvious Distractions

It’s not smart to study with your cell phone on, even if it’s set to vibrate. As soon as you get a text, you’re going to look. You’re human! You can’t focus on studying if you’re chatting with someone else, too. So the cell phone is off limits.

Turn off the home phone, too, along with the computer (unless you’re prepping on it) and any music with vocals. Study music should be lyric-free! Post a sign on your door for people to stay away. If you have kids, find a babysitter for an hour. If you have roommates, head out of the house to the least popular spot in the library. For that one study session, make yourself inaccessible to people and other external study distractions, so you don’t lose focus when someone wants to chat.2. Anticipate Your Physical Needs

If you’re studying intently, you’re going to get thirsty. Grab a beverage before you open the book. You may even need a power snack while you’re working, so grab some brain food, too. Use the bathroom, put on comfortable clothes (but not cozy), set the air/heat to best suit you. If you anticipate your physical needs before you start studying, you’ll be less likely to need to get out of your seat and lose the focus you worked hard to gain.

3. Choose an Appropriate Time

If you’re a morning person, choose the a.m. for your study session; if you’re a night owl, choose the evening. You know yourself better than anyone else, so choose the time when you’re at the height of your brain power and the least tired. It’ll be much more difficult to focus if you’re battling fatigue, too.

4. Answer Your Internal Questions

Sometimes the distractions aren’t coming from the external – they’re invading from within! We’ve all sat down to study and had worries and other internal distractions invade our brains. “When is she going to call me? When am I going to get a raise?”

It seems silly, but if you answer your own internal questions, you’ll focus your mind back where you want it to go. If necessary, write the the worry down, solve it in a simplistic manner and move on.

5. Get Physical

Some people are just antsy. They need to be doing something, and their bodies don’t make the connection that they are doing something during studying. Sound familiar? If you’re one of these kinesthetic learners, get out a few things to anticipate an “ants in your pants” issue: a pen, a rubber band, and a ball.

Pen: Underline words when you read. Cross off incorrect answers when you’re taking a practice test. Moving just your hand may be enough to shake off the jitters. If it’s not…Rubber band. Stretch it. Wrap it around your pen. Play with the rubber band while you’re answering questions. Still feeling jumpy?Ball. Read a question sitting down, and then stand and bounce the ball against the floor as you think of an answer. Still can’t focus?Jump. Read a question sitting down, then stand and do ten jumping jacks. Sit back down and answer the question.

6. Get Rid of the Negativity

It’s impossible to focus on studying if you have all sorts of negative ideas about studying. If you’re one of those people who say, “I hate studying!” or “I’m too upset/tired/sick/whatever to study, then you must learn how to flip those negative statements into positive ones, so you don’t automatically shut down when you open up your notes. It’s amazing how quickly studying can become an awful burden with just a poor frame of mind. Here are the top three negative statements people make about studying, and a quick, easy way to fix each one of them.

Tips:

Don’t be afraid to ask for a little quiet if you’re studying in a public place. Here are four polite ways to get people to pipe down when you’re trying to study.Use a good pen like the Pilot Dr. Grip. Sometimes a leaky or uncomfortable pen can undermine your study session.Wear comfortable, not cozy clothes. Your mind will associate relaxing with sweatpants or pj’s. Choose something you’d wear to school or a movie.Tell yourself something positive in case you get distracted despite following the steps above: “I know I lost focus, but I’m going to try again and make sure I’m successful this time.” Positive encouragement goes a long way even if it’s coming from you.Drink your favorite beverage while studying as a reward for your ability to stay focused. Keep it non-alcoholic!What You Need:

A good pen

A prep book

Scrap paper

Lyric-free music

Your favorite beverage

Brain Food

A rubber band

A tennis ball

A quiet place to study

Conquer Time Management Once and For All

Time management is key to working efficiently. If you use the following steps, they’ll help get you feel less stressed and become more productive.

Figure out where your time goes.

Print two copies of the “Where Do I Spend My Time” spreadsheet pdf at the bottom of this page. One chart is for your typical weekly routine right now. The other is for your new, organized routine. Fill out the first chart with your current weekly routine, and fill out the second chart with your absolute imperatives (work and sleep.)

Reconsider the time drains.

Take a look at your chart and see what your time drains are – the useless portions of the day that are unimportant to you where you’re spinning your wheels and accomplishing next to nothing. Did you find that you spend three hours watching TV at night? Or messing with Facebook or Twitter? Are you running up to the store three days a week because you haven’t taken the time to make a list? That’s a time drain!

On your new chart, reevaluate your time drains. Where could you cut back to free some hours for other, more important things? You’ll gain more hours than you even realize if you cut out just a few of the time drains.

Schedule productivity.

After you’ve freed up some time by banishing the time drains, mark some “productivity” time into your schedule. Physically set an appointment with yourself every day to manage your life, and things won’t pile up all at once. If you gain an extra hour in the evening by cutting back your Facebook time, then spend it catching up with what you’ve been leaving out – plan some meals at home, manage your bills, reorganize the closet, fix the leaky faucet, go through the mail, make a grocery list.

On your new chart, schedule some productivity time right now.

Schedule leisure.

It might sound silly to plan free time, but if you don’t do it, you’ll take it anyway, and it typically cuts into the productivity time. So plan some fun, relaxing things to do in your week. Make them a priority by getting rid of time drains to do it. You’ll be surprised how truly relaxing it feels to have scheduled leisure time because there’s no guilt; you’ve taken care of everything else you needed to do, so you’ve earned it!

On your new chart, schedule some leisure time right now.

Plan for setbacks.

You’ll never be able to stop that railroad crossing from pushing you off schedule. Your kids will inevitably throw a temper tantrum as you’re trying to get them off to school. But if you plan for the occasional disastrous day, it’s easy to recover.

#1 – You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you ever feel that you need help or support, it is OK to just ask someone.

#2- You are clean and simple and don’t like any frills. You might strive to have a clean and perfect existence; but is it totally worth it? Don’t you feel that there is something missing? You are all about your personal achievements and you take pride in your work or career. Although you might be on track with your career path or have a few diplomas/ certificates on your wall, you need to spend more time on developing yourself as a person. Remember… the real you. Life is all about creating balance, surrounding yourself with color and creating memorable adventures. If you are finding that you have been taking the safe road lately, try veering off the beaten path. You might surprise yourself!

#3 – It is obvious you are a quirky individual and very interesting to the people that you let into your life. You are good at many things… a “Jack or Jill of all trades”. You are an artistic individual that expresses yourself in many ways. You can make something out of anything and are not a stranger to your local thrift shop. You can basically make vintage “new” again. It is easy to get stuck inside the house or inside your urban bubble; but remember that you have to get out and connect with nature. It is time to come down out of the clouds and get grounded!

#4 – You are an old soul that can be slightly dramatic. You are a very artistic person that loves to express yourself through writing, music, art or some kind of expression. You are a dichotomy; for you can be very open and friendly, yet closed and deeply private. You often have your guard up, keeping your thoughts and troubles to yourself. Although you might think that nobody will truly understand you, if you allow yourself to open up and share your feelings, you will feel so much better. Deep down you are not aright with any imperfections and you feel the need to come across as “the rock” in any group situation. Know that people are willing to share their feelings with you and want you to share your feelings with them.

#5 – It is very important for you to fit in and feel as though you are a major contributor in every situation. You always have things going on, for being productive is what makes you feel at ease. Your busy-ness can sometimes cause the need for you to become more aware of what is really going on around you. What does your body want you to be doing? It is alright to relax on a Monday and simply just BE. Feel free to take some time to figure out what you really love to do. Possibly try some new hobbies or activities that are out of your normal routine. Explore being you, even if that means relaxing. Life is not just about how many muffins you can make in a single batch or how many fit-it jobs you can do in one day.

#6 – You are a confident person with an eye for detail. You can come across as someone who is all together and exciting; yet you are just YOU on the inside. You care about your appearance and how the world sees you, yet the inside your home or car is probably a total mess! Your personality can be self destructive, for you could turn against yourself when the going gets tough. The life of a person who is a living a total contradiction… has got to be a difficult one. Remember to breathe and just relax. Life is not just about pleasing others. Truth is, the world isn’t always watching… Take time to reflect on who you truly want to be? What is it that you truly want to do?

#7 – You are a simple minimalist that always has important things to do. You care for others and find your time anything but your own. You surround yourself with meaningful things, for you are very sentimental. Family and friends are very important to you and you would do anything for them. Not putting yourself first has made your life a safe and complacent one. What is it that can enrich your life today? What will make your life more colorful and enjoyable? Even though life gives you labels such as a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, manager, etc; remember that your life is still YOUR life. Take a moment to decide what you want your future to look like. It is perfectly acceptable to want wonderful things to happen to you. Carpe Diem.

#8 – Your fun and playful personality keeps you young and youthful. Although you are easy going, you tend to have lower self-confidence and anxiety about specific things in your life. You are usually unorganized; yet don’t even know where to start to help yourself to fix the messy problem. You are a proud individual but you need to learn to love yourself more. You need to take the time to find yourself through self expression. How are you currently expressing yourself to the world? Remember that there are people around you that can help you, but you need to let them know you are willing to receive help. Life is easier when you let people in.

#9 – You are a quirky person that is always making things work. You are an amazing problem solver that prides yourself on your thrifty living. You like to live an uncomplicated life and usually get by with the basics. Why would you need anything else? You are very easy to please and love doing things for others. Whether it be fixing your neighbors toilet, building a bird house for your mother out of reclaimed wood or helping your friend find a great living room set at the thrift shop; you are always there to lend a hand. Remember that life is special. It is OK to treat yourself to amazing things. You are special too!

#10 – You are one who truly appreciates stability and wholeness. You are a reliable person that takes pride in their love of quality and detail. Some might say “cookie cutter”, but you say dependable! You always know what you are getting because you have checked the consumer reports. You love safety and security in all parts of your life. You prefer not to have anything frivolous or extra, if you can’t see the use for it. Chances are you have some sort of creative side that you have curbed in some way. You might love scrap-booking, music or art; yet would never try to make it your career. You feel your problems are your own and nobody needs to be burdened with them. Just keep in mind that exposing your true self to the world (or your neighbors) is not a crime. We are all human.