Enter Leonato Gouernour of MessinaInnogen his wifeHero his daughterand Beatrice his Neecewith a messenger.

Leonato. I learne in this Letterthat Don Peter of Arragoncomes this night to Messina

Mess. He is very neere by this: he was not three Leagues off when I left him

Leon. How many Gentlemen haue you lost in this action? Mess. But few of any sortand none of name

Leon. A victorie is twice it selfewhen the atchieuer brings home full numbers: I finde heerethat Don Peter hath bestowed much honor on a yong Florentinecalled Claudio

Mess. Much deseru'd on his partand equally remembred by Don Pedrohe hath borne himselfe beyond the promise of his agedoing in the figure of a Lambethe feats of a Lionhe hath indeede better bettred expectationthen you must expect of me to tell you how

Leo. He hath an Vnckle heere in Messinawil be very much glad of it

Mess. I haue alreadie deliuered him lettersand there appeares much ioy in himeuen so muchthat ioy could not shew it selfe modest enoughwithout a badg of bitternesse

Leo. Did he breake out into teares? Mess. In great measure

Leo. A kinde ouerflow of kindnessethere are no faces truerthen those that are so wash'dhow much better is it to weepe at ioythen to ioy at weeping?

Bea. I pray youis Signior Mountanto return'd from the warresor no?

Mess. I know none of that nameLadythere was none such in the armie of any sort

Leon. What is he that you aske for Neece? Hero. My cousin meanes Signior Benedick of Padua Mess. O he's return'dand as pleasant as euer he was

Beat. He set vp his bils here in Messina& challeng'd Cupid at the Flight: and my Vnckles foole reading the Challengesubscrib'd for Cupidand challeng'd him at the Burbolt. I pray youhow many hath hee kil'd and eaten in these warres? But how many hath he kil'd? for indeedI promis'd to eate all of his killing

Beat. You had musty victualland he hath holpe to ease it: he's a very valiant Trencher-manhee hath an excellent stomacke

Mess. And a good souldier too Lady

Beat. And a good souldier to a Lady. But what is he to a Lord? Mess. A Lord to a Lorda man to a manstuft with all honourable vertues

Beat. It is so indeedhe is no lesse then a stuft man: but for the stuffing wellwe are all mortall

Leon. You must not (sir) mistake my Neecethere is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick& her: they neuer meetbut there's a skirmish of wit between them

Bea. Alashe gets nothing by that. In our last conflictfoure of his fiue wits went halting offand now is the whole man gouern'd with one: so that if hee haue wit enough to keepe himselfe warmelet him beare it for a difference betweene himselfe and his horse: For it is all the wealth that he hath leftto be knowne a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath euery month a new sworne brother

Mess. Is't possible? Beat. Very easily possible: he weares his faith but as the fashion of his hatit euer changes with y next block

Mess. I see (Lady) the Gentleman is not in your bookes

Bea. Noand he wereI would burne my study. But I pray youwho is his companion? Is there no young squarer nowthat will make a voyage with him to the diuell?

Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio

Beat. O Lordhe will hang vpon him like a disease: he is sooner caught then the pestilenceand the taker runs presently mad. God helpe the noble Claudioif hee haue caught the Benedictit will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cur'd

Mess. I will hold friends with you Lady

Bea. Do good friend

Leo. You'l ne're run mad Neece

Bea. Nonot till a hot Ianuary

Mess. Don Pedro is approach'd.

Enter don PedroClaudioBenedickeBalthasarand Iohn the

bastard.

Pedro. Good Signior Leonatoyou are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to auoid costand you encounter it

Leon. Neuer came trouble to my house in the likenes of your Grace: for trouble being gonecomfort should remaine: but when you depart from mesorrow abidesand happinesse takes his leaue

Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly: I thinke this is your daughter

Leonato. Her mother hath many times told me so

Bened. Were you in doubt that you askt her? Leonato. Signior Benedickenofor then were you a childe

Pedro. You haue it full Benedickewe may ghesse by thiswhat you arebeing a mantruely the Lady fathers her selfe: be happie Ladyfor you are like an honorable father

Ben. If Signior Leonato be her fathershe would not haue his head on her shoulders for al Messinaas like him as she is

Beat. I wonder that you will still be talkingsignior Benedickeno body markes you

Ben. What my deere Ladie Disdaine! are you yet liuing?

Beat. Is it possible Disdaine should diewhile shee hath such meete foode to feede itas Signior Benedicke? Curtesie it selfe must conuert to Disdaineif you come in her presence

Bene. Then is curtesie a turne-coatebut it is certaine I am loued of all Ladiesonely you excepted: and I would I could finde in my heart that I had not a hard heartfor truely I loue none

Beat. A deere happinesse to womenthey would else haue beene troubled with a pernitious SuterI thanke God and my cold bloodI am of your humour for thatI had rather heare my Dog barke at a Crowthan a man sweare he loues me

Bene. God keepe your Ladiship still in that mindeso some Gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratcht face

Beat. Scratching could not make it worseand 'twere such a face as yours were

Bene. Wellyou are a rare Parrat teacher

Beat. A bird of my tongueis better than a beast of your

Ben. I would my horse had the speed of your tongueand so good a continuerbut keepe your way a Gods

nameI haue done

Beat. You alwaies end with a Iades trickeI know you of old

Pedro. This is the summe of all: Leonatosignior Claudioand signior Benedicke; my deere friend Leonatohath inuited you allI tell him we shall stay hereat the least a monethand he heartily praies some occasion may detaine vs longer: I dare sweare hee is no hypocritebut praies from his heart

Leon. If you swearemy Lordyou shall not be forswornelet mee bid you welcomemy Lordbeing reconciled to the Prince your brother: I owe you all duetie

Bene. Doe you question me as an honest man should doefor my simple true iudgement? or would you haue me speake after my customeas being a professed tyrant to their sexe?

Clau. NoI pray thee speake in sober iudgement

Bene. Why yfaith me thinks shee's too low for a hie praisetoo browne for a faire praiseand too little for a great praiseonely this commendation I can affoord herthat were shee other then she isshe were vnhandsomeand being no otherbut as she isI doe not like her

Ben. Yeaand a case to put it intobut speake you this with a sad brow? Or doe you play the flowting iacketo tell vs Cupid is a good Hare-finderand Vulcan a rare Carpenter: Comein what key shall a man take you to goe in the song?

Clau. In mine eieshe is the sweetest Ladie that euer I lookt on

Bene. I can see yet without spectaclesand I see no such matter: there's her cosinand she were not possest with a furieexceedes her as much in beautieas the first of Maie doth the last of December: but I hope you haue no intent to turne husbandhaue you?

Clau. I would scarce trust my selfethough I had sworne the contrarieif Hero would be my wife

Bene. Ist come to this? in faith hath not the world one man but he will weare his cap with suspition? shall I neuer see a batcheller of three score againe? goe to yfaithand thou wilt needes thrust thy necke into a yokeweare the print of itand sigh away sundaies: lookedon Pedro is returned to seeke you.

Enter don PedroIohn the bastard.

Pedr. What secret hath held you herethat you followed not to Leonatoes?

Bened. I would your Grace would constraine mee to tell

Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegeance

Ben. You heareCount ClaudioI can be secret as a dumbe manI would haue you thinke so (but on my allegiancemarke you thison my allegiance) hee is in loueWith who? now that is your Graces part: marke how short his answere iswith HeroLeonatoes short daughter

Clau. If this were soso were it vttred

Bened. Like the old talemy Lordit is not sonor 'twas not so: but indeedeGod forbid it should be so

Clau. If my passion change not shortlyGod forbid it should be otherwise

Pedro. Amenif you loue herfor the Ladie is verie well worthie

Clau. You speake this to fetch me inmy Lord

Pedr. By my troth I speake my thought

Clau. And in faithmy LordI spoke mine

Bened. And by my two faiths and trothsmy LordI speake mine

Clau. That I loue herI feele

Pedr. That she is worthieI know

Bened. That I neither feele how shee should be louednor know how shee should be worthieis the opinion that fire cannot melt out of meI will die in it at the stake

Pedr. Thou wast euer an obstinate heretique in the despight of Beautie

Clau. And neuer could maintaine his partbut in the force of his will

Ben. That a woman conceiued meI thanke her: that she brought mee vpI likewise giue her most humble thankes: but that I will haue a rechate winded in my foreheador hang my bugle in an inuisible baldrickeall women shall pardon me: because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust anyI will doe my selfe the right to trust none: and the fine is(for the which I may goe the

finer) I will liue a Batchellor

Pedro. I shall see thee ere I dielooke pale with loue

Bene. With angerwith sicknesseor with hungermy Lordnot with loue: proue that euer I loose more blood with louethen I will get againe with drinkingpicke out mine eyes with a Ballet-makers penneand hang me vp at the doore of a brothel-house for the signe of blinde Cupid

Bene. If I dohang me in a bottle like a Cat& shoot at meand he that hit's melet him be clapt on the shoulderand cal'd Adam

Pedro. Wellas time shall trie: In time the sauage Bull doth beare the yoake

Bene. The sauage bull maybut if euer the sensible Benedicke beare itplucke off the bulles hornesand set them in my foreheadand let me be vildely paintedand in such great Letters as they writeheere is good horse to hire: let them signifie vnder my signehere you may see Benedicke the married man

Clau. If this should euer happenthou wouldst bee horne mad

Pedro. Nayif Cupid haue not spent all his Quiuer in Venicethou wilt quake for this shortly

Bene. I looke for an earthquake too then

Pedro. Wellyou will temporize with the houresin the meane timegood Signior Benedickerepaire to Leonatoescommend me to himand tell him I will not faile him at supperfor indeede he hath made great preparation

Bene. I haue almost matter enough in me for such an Embassageand so I commit you

Clau. To the tuition of God. From my houseif I had it

Pedro. The sixt of Iuly. Your louing friendBenedick

Bene. Nay mocke notmocke not; the body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragmentsand the guardes are but slightly basted on neitherere you flout old ends any furtherexamine your conscienceand so I leaue you.

Enter.

Clau. My Liegeyour Highnesse now may doe mee good

Pedro. My loue is thine to teachteach it but howAnd thou shalt see how apt it is to learne Any hard Lesson that may do thee good

Clau. O my LordWhen you went onward on this ended actionI look'd vpon her with a souldiers eieThat lik'dbut had a rougher taske in handThan to driue liking to the name of loue: But now I am return'dand that warre-thoughts Haue left their places vacant: in their roomesCome thronging soft and delicate desiresAll prompting mee how faire yong Hero isSaying I lik'd her ere I went to warres

Pedro. Thou wilt be like a louer presentlyAnd tire the hearer with a booke of words: If thou dost loue faire Herocherish itAnd I will breake with her: wast not to this endThat thou beganst to twist so fine a story?

Clau. How sweetly doe you minister to loueThat know loues griefe by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sodaine seemeI would haue salu'd it with a longer treatise

Ped. What need y bridge much broder then the flood? The fairest graunt is the necessitie: Looke what will serueis fit: 'tis oncethou louestAnd I will fit thee with the remedieI know we shall haue reuelling to nightI will assume thy part in some disguiseAnd tell faire Hero I am ClaudioAnd in her bosome Ile vnclaspe my heartAnd take her hearing prisoner with the force And strong incounter of my amorous tale: Then afterto her father will I breakeAnd the conclusion isshee shall be thineIn practise let vs put it presently.

Exeunt.

Enter Leonato and an old manbrother to Leonato.

Leo. How now brotherwhere is my cosen your son: hath he prouided this musicke? Old. He is very busie about itbut brotherI can tell you newes that you yet dreamt not of

Lo. Are they good?

Old. As the euents stamps thembut they haue a good couer: they shew well outwardthe Prince and Count Claudio walking in a thick pleached alley in my orchardwere thus ouer-heard by a man of mine: the Prince discouered to Claudio that hee loued my niece your daughterand meant to acknowledge it this night in a danceand if hee found her accordanthee meant to take the present time by the topand instantly breake with you of it

Leo. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? Old. A good sharpe fellowI will send for himand question him your selfe

Leo. Nono; wee will hold it as a dreametill it appeare it selfe: but I will acquaint my daughter withall

that she may be the better prepared for an answerif peraduenture this bee true: goe you and tell her of it: coosinsyou know what you haue to doeO I crie you mercie friendgoe you with mee and I will vse your skillgood cosin haue a care this busie time.

Exeunt.

Enter Sir Iohn the Bastardand Conrade his companion.

Con. What the good yeere my Lordwhy are you thus out of measure sad? Ioh. There is no measure in the occasion that breedstherefore the sadnesse is without limit

Con. You should heare reason

Iohn. And when I haue heard itwhat blessing bringeth it? Con. If not a present remedyyet a patient sufferance

Ioh. I wonder that thou (being as thou saist thou artborne vnder Saturne) goest about to apply a morall medicineto a mortifying mischiefe: I cannot hide what I am: I must bee sad when I haue causeand smile at no mans iestseat when I haue stomackeand wait for no mans leisure: sleepe when I am drowsieand tend on no mans businesselaugh when I am merryand claw no man in his humor

Con. Yeabut you must not make the ful show of thistill you may doe it without controllmentyou haue of late stood out against your brotherand hee hath tane you newly into his gracewhere it is impossible you should take rootbut by the faire weather that you make your selfeit is needful that you frame the season for your owne haruest

Iohn. I had rather be a canker in a hedgethen a rose in his graceand it better fits my bloud to be disdain'd of allthen to fashion a carriage to rob loue from any: in this (though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man) it must not be denied but I am a plaine dealing villaineI am trusted with a musselland enfranchisde with a clogtherefore I haue decreednot to sing in my cage: if I had my mouthI would bite: if I had my libertyI would do my liking: in the meane timelet me be that I amand seeke not to alter me

Con. Can you make no vse of your discontent? Iohn. I will make all vse of itfor I vse it onely. Who comes here? what newes Borachio?

Enter Borachio.

Bor. I came yonder from a great supperthe Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonatoand I can giue you intelligence of an intended marriage

Iohn. Will it serue for any Modell to build mischiefe on? What is hee for a foole that betrothes himselfe to vnquietnesse?

Bor. Being entertain'd for a perfumeras I was smoaking a musty roomecomes me the Prince and Claudiohand in hand in sad conference: I whipt behind the Arrasand there heard it agreed vponthat the Prince should wooe Hero for himselfeand hauing obtain'd hergiue her to Count Claudio

Iohn. Comecomelet vs thitherthis may proue food to my displeasurethat young start-vp hath all the glorie of my ouerthrow: if I can crosse him any wayI blesse my selfe euery wayyou are both sureand will assist mee?

Conr. To the death my Lord

Iohn. Let vs to the great suppertheir cheere is the greater that I am subduedwould the Cooke were of my minde: shall we goe proue whats to be done?

Beatrice. How tartly that Gentleman lookesI neuer can see himbut I am heart-burn'd an howre after

Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition

Beatrice. Hee were an excellent man that were made iust in the mid-way betweene him and Benedickethe one is too like an image and saies nothingand the other too like my Ladies eldest sonneeuermore tatling

Beat. With a good leggeand a good foot vnckleand money enough in his pursesuch a man would winne any woman in the worldif he could get her good will

Leon. By my troth Neecethou wilt neuer get thee a husbandif thou be so shrewd of thy tongue

Brother. Infaith shee's too curst

Beat. Too curst is more then curstI shall lessen Gods

sending that way: for it is saidGod sends a curst Cow short hornesbut to a Cow too curst he sends none

Leon. Soby being too curstGod will send you no hornes

Beat. Iustif he send me no husbandfor the which blessingI am at him vpon my knees euery morning and euening: LordI could not endure a husband with a beard on his faceI had rather lie in the woollen

Leonato. You may light vpon a husband that hath no beard

Beatrice. What should I doe with him? dresse him in my apparelland make him my waiting gentlewoman? he that hath a beardis more then a youth: and he that hath no beardis lesse then a man: and hee that is more then a youthis not for mee: and he that is lesse then a manI am not for him: therefore I will euen take sixepence in earnest of the Berrordand leade his Apes into hell

Leon. Well thengoe you into hell

Beat. Nobut to the gateand there will the Deuill meete mee like an old Cuckold with hornes on his headand sayget you to heauen Beatriceget you to heauenheere's no place for you maidsso deliuer I vp my Apesand away to S[aint]. Peter: for the heauenshee shewes mee where the Batchellers sitand there liue wee as merry as the day is long

Brother. Well neeceI trust you will be rul'd by your father

Beatrice. Yes faithit is my cosens dutie to make curtsieand sayas it please you: but yet for all that cosinlet him be a handsome fellowor else make an other cursieand sayfatheras it please me

Leonato. Well neeceI hope to see you one day fitted with a husband

Beatrice. Not till God make men of some other mettall then earthwould it not grieue a woman to be ouermastred with a peece of valiant dust: to make account of her life to a clod of waiward marle? no vnckleile none: Adams sonnes are my brethrenand truly I hold it a sinne to match in my kinred

Leon. Daughterremember what I told youif the Prince doe solicit you in that kindeyou know your answere

Beatrice. The fault will be in the musicke cosinif you be not woed in good time: if the Prince bee too importanttell him there is measure in euery thing& so dance out the answerefor heare me Herowooingwedding& repentingis as a Scotch jiggea measureand a cinquepace: the first suite is hot and hasty like a Scotch jigge (and full as fantasticall) the wedding manerly modest(as a measure) full of state & aunchentryand then comes repentanceand with his bad legs falls into the cinquepace faster and fastertill he sinkes into his graue

Hero. So you walke softlyand looke sweetlyand say nothingI am yours for the walkeand especially when I walke away

Pedro. With me in your company

Hero. I may say so when I please

Pedro. And when please you to say so? Hero. When I like your fauourfor God defend the Lute should be like the case

Pedro. My visor is Philemons roofewithin the house is Loue

Hero. Why then your visor should be thatcht

Pedro. Speake low if you speake Loue

Bene. WellI would you did like me

Mar. So would not I for your owne sakefor I haue manie ill qualities

Bene. Which is one? Mar. I say my prayers alowd

Ben. I loue you the betterthe hearers may cry Amen

Mar. God match me with a good dauncer

Balt. Amen

Mar. And God keepe him out of my sight when the daunce is done: answer Clarke

Balt. No more wordsthe Clarke is answered

Vrsula. I know you well enoughyou are Signior Anthonio

Anth. At a wordI am not

Vrsula. I know you by the wagling of your head

Anth. To tell you trueI counterfet him

Vrsu. You could neuer doe him so ill wellvnlesse you were the very man: here's his dry hand vp & downyou are heyou are he

Anth. At a word I am not

Vrsula. Comecomedoe you thinke I doe not know you by your excellent wit? can vertue hide it selfe? goe to mummeyou are hegraces will appeareand there's an end

Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? Bene. Noyou shall pardon me

Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? Bened. Not now

Beat. That I was disdainfulland that I had my good wit out of the hundred merry tales: wellthis was Signior Benedicke that said so

Bene. What's he? Beat. I am sure you know him well enough

Bene. Not Ibeleeue me

Beat. Did he neuer make you laugh? Bene. I pray you what is he? Beat. Why he is the Princes ieastera very dull foole

onely his gift isin deuising impossible slandersnone but Libertines delight in himand the commendation is not in his wittebut in his villaniefor hee both pleaseth men and angers themand then they laugh at himand beat him: I am sure he is in the FleetI would he had boorded me

Bene. When I know the GentlemanIle tell him what you say

Beat. Dodohee'l but breake a comparison or two on mewhich peraduenture (not marktor not laugh'd at) strikes him into melanchollyand then there's a Partridge wing sauedfor the foole will eate no supper that night. We must follow the Leaders

Ben. In euery good thing

Bea. Nayif they leade to any illI will leaue them at the next turning.

Exeunt.

Musicke for the dance.

Iohn. Sure my brother is amorous on Heroand hath withdrawne her father to breake with him about it: the Ladies follow herand but one visor remaines

Borachio. And that is ClaudioI know him by his bearing

Iohn. Are not you signior Benedicke? Clau. You know me wellI am hee

Iohn. Signioryou are verie neere my Brother in his louehe is enamor'd on HeroI pray you disswade him from hershe is no equall for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it

Claudio. How know you he loues her? Iohn. I heard him sweare his affection

Bor. So did I tooand he swore he would marrie her to night

Iohn. Comelet vs to the banquet.

Ex. manet Clau.

Clau. Thus answere I in name of BenedickeBut heare these ill newes with the eares of Claudio: 'Tis certaine sothe Prince woes for himselfe: Friendship is constant in all other thingsSaue in the Office and affaires of loue: Therefore all hearts in loue vse their owne tongues. Let euerie eye negotiate for it selfeAnd trust no Agent: for beautie is a witchAgainst whose charmesfaith melteth into blood: This is an accident of hourely proofeWhich I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero. Enter Benedicke.

Ben. Count Claudio

Clau. Yeathe same

Ben. Comewill you goe with me? Clau. Whither? Ben. Euen to the next Willowabout your own businesse

Count. What fashion will you weare the Garland off? About your neckelike an Vsurers chaine? Or vnder your armelike a Lieutenants scarfe? You must weare it one wayfor the Prince hath got your Hero

Clau . I wish him ioy of her

Ben. Why that's spoken like an honest Drouierso they sel Bullockes: but did you thinke the Prince wold haue serued you thus?

Clau. I pray you leaue me

Ben. Ho now you strike like the blindman'twas the boy that stole your meateand you'l beat the post

Clau. If it will not beIle leaue you. Enter.

Ben. Alas poore hurt fowlenow will he creepe into sedges: But that my Ladie Beatrice should know me& not know me: the Princes foole! Hah? It may be I goe vnder that titlebecause I am merrie: yea but so I am apt to do my selfe wrong: I am not so reputedit is the base (though bitter) disposition of Beatricethat putt's the world into her personand so giues me out: wellIle be reuenged as I may. Enter the Prince.

Pedro. Now Signiorwhere's the Countdid you see him?

Bene. Troth my LordI haue played the part of Lady FameI found him heere as melancholy as a Lodge in a WarrenI told himand I thinketold him truethat your grace had got the will of this young Ladyand I offered him my company to a willow treeeither to make him a garlandas being forsakenor to binde him a rodas being

worthy to be whipt

Pedro. To be whiptwhat's his fault?

Bene. The flat transgression of a Schoole-boywho being ouer-ioyed with finding a birds nestshewes it his companionand he steales it

Pedro. Wilt thou make a trusta transgression? the transgression is in the stealer

Ben. Yet it had not been amisse the rod had beene madeand the garland toofor the garland he might haue worne himselfeand the rod hee might haue bestowed on youwho (as I take it) haue stolne his birds nest

Pedro. I will but teach them to singand restore them to the owner

Bene. If their singing answer your sayingby my faith you say honestly

Pedro. The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrell to youthe Gentleman that daunst with hertold her shee is much wrong'd by you

Bene. O she misusde me past the indurance of a block: an oake but with one greene leafe on itwould haue answered her: my very visor began to assume lifeand scold with her: shee told meenot thinking I had beene my selfethat I was the Princes Iesterand that I was duller then a great thawhudling iest vpon iestwith such impossible conueiance vpon methat I stood like a man at a markewith a whole army shooting at me: shee speakes poynyardsand euery word stabbes: if her breath were as terrible as terminationsthere were no liuing neere hershe would infect to the north starre: I would not marry herthough she were indowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgrestshe would haue made

Hercules haue turnd spityeaand haue cleft his club to make the fire too: cometalke not of heryou shall finde her the infernall Ate in good apparell. I would to God some scholler would coniure herfor certainely while she is heerea man may liue as quiet in hellas in a sanctuaryand people sinne vpon purposebecause they would goe thitherso indeed all disquiethorrorand perturbation followes her. Enter Claudio and BeatriceLeonatoHero.

Pedro. Looke heere she comes

Bene. Will your Grace command mee any seruice to the worlds end? I will goe on the slightest arrand now to the Antypodes that you can deuise to send me on: I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia: bring you the length of Prester Iohns foot: fetch you a hayre off the great Chams beard: doe you any embassage to the Pigmiesrather then hould three words conferencewith this Harpy: you haue no employment for me?

Beatr. Indeed my Lordhee lent it me a whileand I gaue him vse for ita double heart for a single onemarry once before he wonne it of meewith false dicetherefore your Grace may well say I haue lost it

Pedro. You haue put him downe Ladyyou haue put him downe

Beat. So I would not he should do memy Lordlest I should prooue the mother of fooles: I haue brought Count Claudiowhom you sent me to seeke

Pedro. Why how now Countwherfore are you sad? Claud. Not sad my Lord

Pedro. How then? sicke? Claud. Neithermy Lord

Beat. The Count is neither sadnor sickenor merrynor well: but ciuill Countciuill as an Orangeand something of a iealous complexion

Pedro. Ifaith LadyI thinke your blazon to be true. though Ile be sworneif hee be sohis conceit is false: heere ClaudioI haue wooed in thy nameand faire Hero is wonI haue broke with her fatherand his good will obtainedname the day of marriageand God giue thee ioy

Leona. Counttake of me my daughterand with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match& all grace sayAmen to it

Beatr. Speake Counttis your Qu

Claud. Silence is the perfectest Herault of ioyI were but little happy if I could sayhow much? Ladyas you are mineI am yoursI giue away my selfe for youand doat vpon the exchange

Beat. Speake cosinor (if you cannot) stop his mouth with a kisseand let not him speake neither

Pedro. In faith Lady you haue a merry heart

Beatr. Yea my Lord I thanke itpoore foole it keepes on the windy side of Caremy coosin tells him in his eare that he is in my heart

Clau. And so she doth coosin

Beat. Good Lord for alliance: thus goes euery one to the world but Iand I am sun-burn'dI may sit in a corner and cryheigh ho for a husband

Pedro. Lady BeatriceI will get you one

Beat. I would rather haue one of your fathers getting: hath your Grace ne're a brother like you? your father got excellent husbandsif a maid could come by them

Prince. Will you haue me? Lady

Beat. Nomy Lordvnlesse I might haue another for working-daiesyour Grace is too costly to weare euerie day: but I beseech your Grace pardon meeI was borne to speake all mirthand no matter

Prince. Your silence most offends meand to be merrybest becomes youfor out of questionyou were born in a merry howre

Beatr. No sure my Lordmy Mother criedbut then there was a starre daunstand vnder that was I borne: cosins God giue you ioy

Leonato. Neecewill you looke to those things I told you of? Beat. I cry you mercy Vncleby your Graces pardon.

Exit Beatrice.

Prince. By my troth a pleasant spirited Lady

Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in her my Lordshe is neuer sadbut when she sleepesand not euer sad then: for I haue heard my daughter sayshe hath often dreamt of vnhappinesseand wakt her selfe with laughing

Pedro. Shee cannot indure to heare tell of a husband

Leonato. Oby no meanesshe mocks all her wooers out of suite

Prince. She were an excellent wife for Benedick

Leonato. O Lordmy Lordif they were but a weeke marriedthey would talke themselues madde

Prince. Counte Claudiowhen meane you to goe to Church? Clau. To morrow my LordTime goes on crutchestill Loue haue all his rites

Prince. Comeyou shake the head at so long a breathingbut I warrant thee Claudiothe time shall not goe dully by vsI will in the interimvndertake one of Hercules laborswhich isto bring Signior Benedicke and the Lady Beatrice into a mountaine of affectionth' one with th' otherI would faine haue it a matchand I doubt not but to fashion itif you three will but minister such assistance as I shall giue you direction

Leonato. My LordI am for youthough it cost mee ten nights watchings

Claud. And I my Lord

Prin. And you to gentle Hero?

Hero. I will doe any modest officemy Lordto helpe my cosin to a good husband

Prin. And Benedick is not the vnhopefullest husband that I know: thus farre can I praise himhee is of a noble straineof approued valourand confirm'd honestyI will teach you how to humour your cosinthat shee shall fall in loue with Benedickeand Iwith your two helpeswill so practise on Benedickethat in despight of his quicke witand his queasie stomackehee shall fall in loue with Beatrice: if wee can doe thisCupid is no longer an Archerhis glory shall be oursfor wee are the onely louegodsgoe in with meand I will tell you my drift. Enter.

Bor. Not honestly my Lordbut so couertlythat no dishonesty shall appeare in me

Iohn. Shew me breefely how

Bor. I thinke I told your Lordship a yeere sincehow much I am in the fauour of Margaretthe waiting gentlewoman to Hero

Iohn. I remember

Bor. I can at any vnseasonable instant of the nightappoint her to looke out at her Ladies chamber window

Iohn. What life is in thatto be the death of this marriage?

Bor. The poyson of that lies in you to tempergoe you to the Prince your brotherspare not to tell himthat hee hath wronged his Honor in marrying the renowned Claudiowhose estimation do you mightily hold vpto a contaminated stalesuch a one as Hero

Bor. Goe thenfinde me a meete howreto draw on Pedro and the Count Claudio alonetell them that you know that Hero loues meintend a kinde of zeale both to the Prince and Claudio (as in a loue of your brothers honor who hath made this match) and his friends reputationwho is thus like to be cosen'd with the semblance of a maidthat you haue discouer'd thus: they will scarcely beleeue this without triall: offer them instances which shall beare no lesse likelihoodthan to see mee at her chamber windowheare me call MargaretHero; heare

Margaret terme me Claudioand bring them to see this the very night before the intended weddingfor in the meane timeI will so fashion the matterthat Hero shall be absentand there shall appeare such seeming truths of Heroes disloyaltiethat iealousie shall be cal'd assuranceand all the preparation ouerthrowne

Iohn. Grow this to what aduerse issue it canI will put it in practise: be cunning in the working thisand thy fee is a thousand ducates

Bor. Be thou constant in the accusationand my cunning shall not shame me

Iohn. I will presentlie goe learne their day of marriage. Enter.

Enter Benedicke alone.

Bene. Boy

Boy. Signior

Bene. In my chamber window lies a bookebring it hither to me in the orchard

Boy. I am heere already sir. Enter.

Bene. I know thatbut I would haue thee henceand heere againe. I doe much wonderthat one man seeing how much another man is a foolewhen he dedicates his behauiours to louewill after hee hath laught at such shallow follies in othersbecome the argument of his owne scorneby falling in loue& such a man is Claudio. I haue known when there was no musicke with him but the drum and the fifeand now had hee rather heare the taber and the pipe: I haue knowne when he would haue walkt ten mile afootto see a good armorand now will he lie ten nights awake caruing the fashion of a new dublet: he was wont to speake plaine& to the purpose (like an honest man & a souldier) and now is he turn'd orthographyhis words are a very fantasticall banquetiust so many strange dishes: may I be so conuerted& see with these eyes? I cannot tellI thinke not: I will not bee swornebut loue may transforme me to an oysterbut Ile take my oath on ittill he haue made an oyster of mehe shall neuer make me such a foole: one woman is faireyet I am well: another is wiseyet I am well: another vertuousyet I am well: but till all graces be in one womanone woman shall not come in my grace: rich shee shall bethat's certaine: wiseor Ile none: vertuousor Ile neuer cheapen her: faireor Ile neuer looke on her: mildeor come not neere me: Nobleor not for an Angell: of good discourse: an excellent Musitianand her haire shal be of what colour it please Godhah! the Prince and Monsieur LoueI will hide me in the Arbor. Enter PrinceLeonatoClaudioand Iacke Wilson.

Prin. Comeshall we heare this musicke? Claud. Yea my good Lord: how still the euening is. As husht on purpose to grace harmonie

Prin. See you where Benedicke hath hid himselfe?

Clau. O very well my Lord: the musicke endedWee'll fit the kid-foxe with a penny worth

Prince. Come Balthasarwee'll heare that song again

Balth. O good my Lordtaxe not so bad a voyceTo slander musicke any more then once

Prin. It is the witnesse still of excellencyTo slander Musicke any more then once

Prince. It is the witnesse still of excellencieTo put a strange face on his owne perfectionI pray thee singand let me woe no more

Balth. Because you talke of wooingI will singSince many a wooer doth commence his suitTo her he thinkes not worthyyet he wooesYet will he sweare he loues

Balth. Note this before my notesTheres not a note of mine that's worth the noting

Prince. Why these are very crotchets that he speaksNote notes forsoothand nothing

Bene. Now diuine airenow is his soule rauishtis it not strange that sheepes guts should hale soules out of mens bodies? wella horne for my money when all's done.

The Song.

Sigh no more Ladiessigh no moreMen were deceiuers euerOne foote in Seaand one on shoreTo one thing constant neuerThen sigh not sobut let them goeAnd be you blithe and bonnieConuerting all your sounds of woeInto hey nony nony. Sing no more dittiessing no moeOf dumps so dull and heauyThe fraud of men were euer soSince summer first was leauyThen sigh not so&c

Prince. By my troth a good song

Balth. And an ill singermy Lord

Prince. Hanono faiththou singst well enough for a shift

Ben. And he had been a dog that should haue howld thusthey would haue hang'd himand I pray God his bad voyce bode no mischiefeI had as liefe haue heard the night-rauencome what plague could haue come after it

Prince. Yea marrydost thou heare Balthasar? I pray thee get vs some excellent musick: for to morrow night we would haue it at the Lady Heroes chamber window

Balth. The best I canmy Lord.

Exit Balthasar.

Prince. Do sofarewell. Come hither Leonatowhat was it you told me of to daythat your Niece Beatrice was in loue with signior Benedicke?

Prince. Howhow I pray you? you amaze meI would haue thought her spirit had beene inuincible against all assaults of affection

Leo. I would haue sworne it hadmy Lordespecially against Benedicke

Bene. I should thinke this a gullbut that the whitebearded fellow speakes it: knauery cannot sure hide himselfe in such reuerence

Claud. He hath tane th' infectionhold it vp

Prince. Hath shee made her affection known to Benedicke: Leonato. Noand sweares she neuer willthat's her torment

Claud. 'Tis true indeedso your daughter saies: shall Isaies shethat haue so oft encountred him with scornewrite to him that I loue him?

Leo. This saies shee now when shee is beginning to write to himfor shee'll be vp twenty times a nightand there will she sit in her smocketill she haue writ a sheet of paper: my daughter tells vs all

Clau. Now you talke of a sheet of paperI remember a pretty iest your daughter told vs of

Leon. O when she had writ it& was reading it ouershe found Benedicke and Beatrice betweene the sheete

Clau. That

Leon. O she tore the letter into a thousand halfpenceraild at her selfthat she should be so immodest to writeto one that shee knew would flout her: I measure himsaies sheby my owne spiritfor I should flout him if hee writ to meeyea though I loue himI should

Leon. She doth indeedmy daughter saies soand the extasie hath so much ouerborne herthat my daughter is somtime afeard she will doe a desperate out-rage to her selfeit is very true

Prince. It were good that Benedicke knew of it by some otherif she will not discouer it

Clau. To what end? he would but make a sport of itand torment the poore Lady worse

Prin. And he shouldit were an almes to hang himshee's an excellent sweet Ladyand (out of all suspition) she is vertuous

Claudio. And she is exceeding wise

Prince. In euery thingbut in louing Benedicke

Leon. O my Lordwisedome and bloud combating in so tender a bodywe haue ten proofes to onethat bloud hath the victoryI am sorry for heras I haue iust causebeing her Vncleand her Guardian

Prince. I would shee had bestowed this dotage on meeI would haue daft all other respectsand made her halfe my selfe: I pray you tell Benedicke of itand heare what he will say

Leon. Were it good thinke you?

Clau. Hero thinkes surely she wil diefor she saies she will dieif hee loue her notand shee will die ere shee make her loue knowneand she will die if hee wooe herrather than shee will bate one breath of her accustomed crossenesse

Prince. She doth wellif she should make tender of her loue'tis very possible hee'l scorne itfor the man (as you know all) hath a contemptible spirit

Clau. He is a very proper man

Prin. He hath indeed a good outward happines

Clau. 'Fore Godand in my minde very wise

Prin. He doth indeed shew some sparkes that are like wit

Leon. And I take him to be valiant

Prin. As HectorI assure youand in the managing of quarrels you may see hee is wisefor either hee auoydes them with great discretionor vndertakes them with a Christian-like feare

Leon. If hee doe feare Goda must necessarilie keepe peaceif hee breake the peacehee ought to enter into a quarrell with feare and trembling

Prin. And so will he doefor the man doth fear Godhowsoeuer it seemes not in himby some large ieasts hee will make: wellI am sorry for your nieceshall we goe see Benedickeand tell him of her loue

Claud. Neuer tell himmy Lordlet her weare it out with good counsell

Leon. Nay that's impossibleshe may weare her heart out first

Prin. Wellwe will heare further of it by your daughterlet it coole the whileI loue Benedicke welland I could wish he would modestly examine himselfeto see how much he is vnworthy to haue so good a Lady

Leon. My Lordwill you walke? dinner is ready

Clau. If he do not doat on her vpon thisI wil neuer trust my expectation

Prin. Let there be the same Net spread for herand that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry: the sport will bewhen they hold one an opinion of anothers dotageand no such matterthat's the Scene that I would seewhich will be meerely a dumbe shew: let vs send her to call him into dinner.

Exeunt.

Bene. This can be no trickethe conference was sadly bornethey haue the truth of this from Herothey seeme to pittie the Lady: it seemes her affections haue the full bent: loue me? why it must be requited: I heare how I am censur'dthey say I will beare my selfe proudlyif I perceiue the loue come from her: they say toothat she will rather die than giue any signe of affection: I did neuer thinke to marryI must not seeme proudhappy are they that heare their detractionsand can put them to mending: they say the Lady is faire'tis a truthI can beare them witnesse: and vertuoustis soI cannot reprooue itand wisebut for louing meby my troth it is no addition to her wittenor no great argument of her folly; for I wil be horribly in loue with herI may chance haue some odde quirkes and remnants of witte broken on meebecause I haue rail'd so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loues the meat in his youththat he cannot indure in his age. Shall quips and sentencesand these paper bullets of the braine awe a man from the careere of his humour? Nothe world

must be peopled. When I said I would die a batchelerI did not think I should liue till I were mariedhere comes Beatrice: by this dayshee's a faire LadyI doe spie some markes of loue in her. Enter Beatrice.

Beat. Against my wil I am sent to bid you come in to dinner

Bene. Faire BeatriceI thanke you for your paines

Beat. I tooke no more paines for those thankesthen you take paines to thanke meif it had been painefullI would not haue come

Bene. You take pleasure then in the message

Beat. Yea iust so much as you may take vpon a kniues pointand choake a daw withall: you haue no stomacke signiorfare you well. Enter.

Bene. Haagainst my will I am sent to bid you come into dinner: there's a double meaning in that: I tooke no more paines for those thankes then you took paines to thanke methat's as much as to sayany paines that I take for you is as easie as thankes: if I do not take pitty of her I am a villaineif I doe not loue her I am a IewI will goe get her picture. Enter.

Actus Tertius.

Enter Hero and two GentlemenMargaretand Vrsula.

Hero. Good Margaret runne thee to the parlourThere shalt thou finde my Cosin BeatriceProposing with the Prince and ClaudioWhisper her eareand tell her I and VrsulaWalke in the Orchardand our whole discourse Is all of hersay that thou ouer-heardst vsAnd bid her steale into the pleached bowerWhere hony-suckles ripened by the sunneForbid the sunne to enter: like fauouritesMade proud by Princesthat aduance their prideAgainst that power that bred itthere will she hide herTo listen our purposethis is thy officeBeare thee well in itand leaue vs alone

Marg. Ile make her come I warrant you presently

Hero. Now Vrsulawhen Beatrice doth comeAs we do trace this alley vp and downeOur talke must onely be of BenedickeWhen I doe name himlet it be thy partTo praise him more then euer man did meritMy talke to thee must be how Benedicke Is sicke in loue with Beatrice; of this matterIs little Cupids crafty arrow madeThat onely wounds by heare-say: now beginEnter Beatrice.

For looke where Beatrice like a Lapwing runs

Close by the groundto heare our conference

Vrs. The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden ores the siluer streameAnd greedily deuoure the treacherous baite: So angle we for Beatricewho euen nowIs couched in the wood-bine couertureFeare you not my part of the Dialogue

Her. Then go we neare her that her eare loose nothingOf the false sweete baite that we lay for it: No truely Vrsulashe is too disdainfullI know her spirits are as coy and wildeAs Haggerds of the rocke

Vrsula. But are you sureThat Benedicke loues Beatrice so intirely? Her. So saies the Princeand my new trothed Lord

Vrs. And did they bid you tell her of itMadam?

Her. They did intreate me to acquaint her of itBut I perswaded themif they lou'd BenedickeTo wish him wrastle with affectionAnd neuer to let Beatrice know of it

Vrsula. Why did you sodoth not the Gentleman Deserue as full as fortunate a bedAs euer Beatrice shall couch vpon?

Hero. O God of loue! I know he doth deserueAs much as may be yeelded to a man: But Nature neuer fram'd a womans heartOf prowder stuffe then that of Beatrice: Disdaine and Scorne ride sparkling in her eyesMis-prizing what they looke onand her wit Values it selfe so highlythat to her All matter else seemes weake: she cannot loueNor take no shape nor proiect of affectionShee is so selfe indeared

Vrsula. Sure I thinke soAnd therefore certainely it were not good She knew his louelest she make sport at it

Hero. Why you speake truthI neuer yet saw manHow wisehow nobleyonghow rarely featur'd. But she would spell him backward: if faire fac'dShe would sweare the gentleman should be her sister: If blackewhy Nature drawing of an antickeMade a foule blot: if talla launce ill headed: If lowan agot very vildlie cut: If speakingwhy a vane blowne with all windes: If silentwhy a blocke moued with none. So turnes she euery man the wrong side outAnd neuer giues to Truth and Vertuethat Which simplenesse and merit purchaseth

Vrsu. Suresuresuch carping is not commendable

Hero. Nonot to be so oddeand from all fashionsAs Beatrice iscannot be commendableBut who dare tell her so? if I should speakeShe would mocke me into ayreO she would laugh me Out of my selfepresse me to death with witTherefore let Benedicke like couered fire

Consume away in sigheswaste inwardly: It were a better deathto die with mockesWhich is as bad as die with tickling

Vrsu. Yet tell her of itheare what shee will say

Hero. Norather I will goe to BenedickeAnd counsaile him to fight against his passionAnd truly Ile deuise some honest slandersTo staine my cosin withone doth not knowHow much an ill word may impoison liking

Vrsu. O doe not doe your cosin such a wrongShe cannot be so much without true iudgementHauing so swift and excellent a wit As she is prisde to haueas to refuse So rare a Gentleman as signior Benedicke

Hero. He is the onely man of ItalyAlwaies exceptedmy deare Claudio

Vrsu. I pray you be not angry with meMadameSpeaking my fancy: Signior BenedickeFor shapefor bearing argument and valourGoes formost in report through Italy

Hero. Indeed he hath an excellent good name

Vrsu. His excellence did earne it ere he had it: When are you married Madame?

Hero. Why euerie day to morrowcome goe inIle shew thee some attiresand haue thy counsellWhich is the best to furnish me to morrow

Vrsu. Shee's tane I warrant youWe haue caught her Madame?

Hero. If it proue sothen louing goes by hapsSome Cupid kills with arrowessome with traps. Enter.

Beat. What fire is in mine eares? can this be true? Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorne so much? Contemptfarewelland maiden prideadewNo glory liues behinde the backe of such. And Benedickeloue onI will requite theeTaming my wilde heart to thy louing hand: If thou dost louemy kindnesse shall incite thee To binde our loues vp in a holy band. For others say thou dost deserueand I Beleeue it better then reportingly. Enter.

Enter PrinceClaudioBenedickeand Leonato.

Prince. I doe but stay till your marriage be consummateand then go I toward Arragon

Clau. Ile bring you thither my Lordif you'l vouchsafe me

Prin. Naythat would be as great a soyle in the new glosse of your marriageas to shew a childe his new coat and forbid him to weare itI will onely bee bold with Benedicke for his companiefor from the crowne of his

headto the sole of his foothe is all mirthhe hath twice or thrice cut Cupids bow-stringand the little hang-man dare not shoot at himhe hath a heart as sound as a belland his tongue is the clapperfor what his heart thinkeshis tongue speakes

Bene. GallantsI am not as I haue bin

Leo. So say Imethinkes you are sadder

Claud. I hope he be in loue

Prin. Hang him truantthere's no true drop of bloud in him to be truly toucht with loueif he be sadhe wants money

Bene. I haue the tooth-ach

Prin. Draw it

Bene. Hang it

Claud. You must hang it firstand draw it afterwards

Prin. What? sigh for the tooth-ach

Leon. Where is but a humour or a worme

Bene. Welleuery one cannot master a griefebut hee that has it

Clau. Yet say Ihe is in loue

Prin. There is no appearance of fancie in himvnlesse it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguisesas to bee a Dutchman to daya Frenchman to morrow: vnlesse hee haue a fancy to this fooleryas it appeares hee hathhee is no foole for fancyas you would haue it to appeare he is

Clau. If he be not in loue with some womanthere is no beleeuing old signesa brushes his hat a morningsWhat should that bode?

Prin. Nay a rubs himselfe with Ciuitcan you smell him out by that? Clau. That's as much as to saythe sweet youth's in loue

Prin. The greatest note of it is his melancholy

Clau. And when was he wont to wash his face? Prin. Yeaor to paint himselfe? for the which I heare what they say of him

Clau. Naybut his iesting spiritwhich is now crept into a lute-stringand now gouern'd by stops

Prin. Indeed that tels a heauy tale for him: concludehe is in loue

Clau. Naybut I know who loues him

Prince. That would I know tooI warrant one that knowes him not

Cla. Yesand his ill conditionsand in despight of alldies for him

Prin. Shee shall be buried with her face vpwards

Bene. Yet is this no charme for the tooth-akeold signiorwalke aside with meeI haue studied eight or nine wise words to speake to youwhich these hobby-horses must not heare

Prin. For my life to breake with him about Beatrice

Clau. 'Tis euen soHero and Margaret haue by this played their parts with Beatriceand then the two Beares will not bite one another when they meete. Enter Iohn the Bastard.

Bast. My Lord and brotherGod saue you

Prin. Good den brother

Bast. If your leisure seru'dI would speake with you

Prince. In priuate? Bast. If it please youyet Count Claudio may hearefor what I would speake ofconcernes him

Prin. What's the matter? Basta. Meanes your Lordship to be married to morrow? Prin. You know he does

Bast. I know not that when he knowes what I know

Clau. If there be any impedimentI pray you discouer it

Bast. You may thinke I loue you notlet that appeare hereafterand ayme better at me by that I now will manifestfor my brother (I thinkehe holds you welland in dearenesse of heart) hath holpe to effect your ensuing marriage: surely sute ill spentand labour ill bestowed

Prin. Whywhat's the matter?

Bastard. I came hither to tell youand circumstances shortned(for she hath beene too long a talking of) the Lady is disloyall

Clau. Who Hero? Bast. Euen sheeLeonatoes Heroyour Heroeuery mans Hero

Clau. Disloyall?

Bast. The word is too good to paint out her wickednesseI could say she were worsethinke you of a worse titleand I will fit her to it: wonder not till further warrant:

goe but with mee to nightyou shal see her chamber window entredeuen the night before her wedding dayif you loue herthen to morrow wed her: But it would better fit your honour to change your minde

Claud. May this be so? Princ. I will not thinke it

Bast. If you dare not trust that you seeconfesse not that you know: if you will follow meeI will shew you enoughand when you haue seene more& heard moreproceed accordingly

Clau. If I see any thing to nightwhy I should not marry her to morrow in the congregationwhere I shold weddethere will I shame her

Prin. And as I wooed for thee to obtaine herI will ioyne with thee to disgrace her

Bast. I will disparage her no farthertill you are my witnessesbeare it coldly but till nightand let the issue shew it selfe

Prin. O day vntowardly turned!

Claud. O mischiefe strangelie thwarting!

Bastard. O plague right well preuented! so will you saywhen you haue seene the sequele. Enter.

Enter Dogbery and his compartner with the watch.

Dog. Are you good men and true?

Verg. Yeaor else it were pitty but they should suffer saluation body and soule

Dogb. Naythat were a punishment too good for themif they should haue any allegiance in thembeing chosen for the Princes watch

Verges. Wellgiue them their chargeneighbour Dogbery

Dog. Firstwho thinke you the most desartlesse man to be Constable

Watch.1. Hugh Ote-cake siror George Sea-coalefor they can write and reade

Dogb. Come hither neighbour Sea-coaleGod hath blest you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured manis the gift of Fortunebut to write and readecomes by Nature

Watch 2. Both which Master Constable

Dogb. You haue: I knew it would be your answere: wellfor your fauour sirwhy giue God thankes& make no boast of itand for your writing and readinglet that appeare when there is no need of such vanityyou are thought heere to be the most senslesse and fit man for the Constable of the watch: therefore beare you the lanthorne: this is your charge: You shall comprehend all vagrom menyou are to bid any man stand in the Princes name

Watch 2. How if a will not stand?

Dogb. Why then take no note of himbut let him goand presently call the rest of the Watch togetherand thanke God you are ridde of a knaue

Verges. If he will not stand when he is biddenhee is none of the Princes subiects

Dogb. Trueand they are to meddle with none but the Princes subiects: you shall also make no noise in the streetes: forfor the Watch to babble and talkeis most tollerableand not to be indured

Watch. We will rather sleepe than talkewee know what belongs to a Watch

Dog. Why you speake like an ancient and most quiet watchmanfor I cannot see how sleeping should offend: only haue a care that your bills be not stolne: wellyou are to call at all the Alehousesand bid them that are drunke get them to bed

Watch. How if they will not?

Dogb. Why then let them alone till they are soberif they make you not then the better answereyou may saythey are not the men you tooke them for

Watch. Well sir

Dogb. If you meet a theefeyou may suspect himby vertue of your officeto be no true man: and for such kinde of menthe lesse you meddle or make with themwhy the more is for your honesty

Watch. If wee know him to be a thiefeshall wee not lay hands on him

Dogb. Truly by your office you maybut I think they that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way for youif you doe take a theefeisto let him shew himselfe what he isand steale out of your company

Ver. You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful ma[n] partner

Dog. Truely I would not hang a dog by my willmuch more a man who hath anie honestie in him

Verges. If you heare a child crie in the night you must call to the nurseand bid her still it

Watch. How if the nurse be asleepe and will not heare vs?

Dog. Why then depart in peaceand let the childe wake her with cryingfor the ewe that will not heare her Lambe when it baeswill neuer answere a calfe when he bleates

Verges. 'Tis verie true

Dog. This is the end of the charge: you constable are to present the Princes owne personif you meete the Prince in the nightyou may staie him

Verges. Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot

Dog. Fiue shillings to one on't with anie man that knowes the Statuteshe may staie himmarrie not without the prince be willingfor indeed the watch ought to offend no manand it is an offence to stay a man against his will

Watch. Well masterswe heare our chargelet vs go sit here vpon the Church bench till twoand then all to bed

Dog. One word morehonest neighbors. I pray you watch about signior Leonatoes doorefor the wedding being there to morrowthere is a great coyle to nightadiewbe vigitant I beseech you.

Exeunt.

Enter Borachio and Conrade.

Bor. WhatConrade?

Watch. Peacestir not

Bor. Conrade I say

Con. Here manI am at thy elbow

Bor. Mas and my elbow itchtI thought there would a scabbe follow

Con. I will owe thee an answere for thatand now forward with thy tale

Bor. Stand thee close then vnder this penthousefor it drissels raineand I willlike a true drunkardvtter all to thee

Watch. Some treason mastersyet stand close

Bor. Therefore knowI haue earned of Don Iohn a thousand Ducates

Con. Is it possible that anie villanie should be so deare?

Bor. Thou should'st rather aske if it were possible anie villanie should be so rich? for when rich villains haue neede of poore onespoore ones may make what price they will

Con. I wonder at it

Bor. That shewes thou art vnconfirm'dthou knowest that the fashion of a doubletor a hator a cloakeis nothing to a man

Con. Yesit is apparell

Bor. I meane the fashion

Con. Yes the fashion is the fashion

Bor. TushI may as well say the foole's the foolebut seest thou not what a deformed theefe this fashion is?

Watch. I know that deformeda has bin a vile theefethis vii. yearesa goes vp and downe like a gentle man: I remember his name

Bor. Did'st thou not heare some bodie? Con. No'twas the vaine on the house

Bor. Seest thou not (I say) what a deformed thiefe this fashion ishow giddily a turnes about all the Hotbloudsbetweenefoureteene & fiue & thirtiesometimes fashioning them like Pharaoes souldiours in the rechie paintingsometime like god Bels priests in the old Church windowsometime like the shauen Hercules in the smircht worm-eaten tapestriewhere his cod-peece seemes as massie as his club

Con. All this I seeand see that the fashion weares out more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy selfe giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?

Bor. Not so neitherbut know that I haue to night wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-womanby the name of Heroshe leanes me out at her mistris chamberwindowbids me a thousand times good night: I tell this tale vildly. I should first tell thee how the Prince Claudio and my Master plantedand placedand possessed by my Master Don Iohnsaw a far off in the Orchard this amiable incounter

Con. And thought thy Margaret was Hero?

Bor. Two of them didthe Prince and Claudiobut the diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by his oatheswhich first possest thempartly by the darke night which did deceiue thembut chiefelyby my villaniewhich did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had madeaway went Claudio enragedswore hee would meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Templeand therebefore the whole congregation shame her with what he saw o're nightand send her home againe without a husband

Watch.1. We charge you in the Princes name stand

Watch.2. Call vp the right master Constablewe haue here recouered the most dangerous peece of lecherythat euer was knowne in the Common-wealth

Bor. We are like to proue a goodly commoditiebeing taken vp of these mens bils

Conr. A commoditie in question I warrant youcome weele obey you.

Exeunt.

Enter Heroand Margaretand Vrsula.

Hero. Good Vrsula wake my cosin Beatriceand desire her to rise

Vrsu. I will Lady

Her. And bid her come hither

Vrs. Well

Mar. Troth I thinke your other rebato were better

Hero. No pray thee good MegIle weare this

Marg. By my troth's not so goodand I warrant your cosin will say so

Hero. My cosin's a fooleand thou art anotherile weare none but this

Mar. I like the new tire within excellentlyif the haire were a thought browner: and your gown's a most rare fashion yfaithI saw the Dutchesse of Millaines gowne that they praise so

Hero. O that exceedes they say

Mar. By my troth's but a night-gowne in respect of yourscloth a gold and cutsand lac'd with siluerset with pearlesdowne sleeuesside sleeuesand skirtsround vnderborn with a blewish tinselbut for a fine queint gracefull and excellent fashionyours is worth ten on't

Hero. God giue mee ioy to weare itfor my heart is exceeding heauy

Marga. 'Twill be heauier sooneby the waight of a man

Hero. Fie vpon theeart not asham'd?

Marg. Of what Lady? of speaking honourably? is not marriage honourable in a beggar? is not your Lord honourable without marriage? I thinke you would haue me saysauing your reuerence a husband: and bad thinking doe not wrest true speakingIle offend no bodyis there any harme in the heauier for a husband? none I thinkeand it be the right husbandand the right wifeotherwise 'tis light and not heauyaske my Lady Beatrice elsehere she comes. Enter Beatrice.

Hero. Good morrow Coze

Beat. Good morrow sweet Hero

Hero. Why how now? do you speake in the sick tune? Beat. I am out of all other tuneme thinkes

Mar. Claps into Light a loue(that goes without a burden) do you sing it and Ile dance it

Beat. O God helpe meGod help mehow long haue you profest apprehension? Mar. Euer since you left itdoth not my wit become me rarely? Beat. It is not seene enoughyou should weare it in your capby my troth I am sicke

Mar. Get you some of this distill'd carduus benedictus and lay it to your heartit is the onely thing for a qualm

Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thissell

Beat. Benedictuswhy benedictus? you haue some morall in this benedictus

Mar. Morall? no by my trothI haue no morall meaningI meant plaine holy thissellyou may thinke perchance that I thinke you are in louenay birlady I am not such a foole to thinke what I listnor I list not to thinke what I cannor indeedI cannot thinkeif I would thinke my hart out of thinkingthat you are in loueor that you will be in loueor that you can be in loue: yet Benedicke was such anotherand now is he become a manhe swore hee would neuer marryand yet now in despight of his heart he eates his meat without grudgingand how you may be conuerted I know notbut me thinkes you looke with your eies as other women doe

Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keepes

Mar. Not a false gallop. Enter Vrsula.

Vrsula. Madamwithdrawthe Princethe Countsignior BenedickeDon Iohnand all the gallants of the towne are come to fetch you to Church

Leonato. What would you with meehonest neighbour? Const.Dog. Mary sir I would haue some confidence with youthat decernes you nearely

Leon. Briefe I pray youfor you see it is a busie time with me

Const.Dog. Mary this it is sir

Headb. Yes in truth it is sir

Leon. What is it my good friends?

Con.Do. Goodman Verges sir speakes a little of the matteran old man sirand his wits are not so bluntas God helpe I would desire they werebut infaith honest as the skin betweene his browes

Head. Yes I thank GodI am as honest as any man liuingthat is an old manand no honester then I

Con.Dog. Comparisons are odorouspalabrasneighbour Verges

Leon. Neighboursyou are tedious

Con.Dog. It pleases your worship to say sobut we are the poore Dukes officersbut truely for mine owne partif I were as tedious as a King I could finde in my heart to bestow it all of your worship

Leon. All thy tediousnesse on meah?

Const.Dog. Yeaand 'twere a thousand times more than 'tisfor I heare as good exclamation on your Worship as of any man in the Citieand though I bee but a poore manI am glad to heare it

Head. And so am I

Leon. I would faine know what you haue to say

Head. Marry sir our watch to nightexcepting your worships presencehaue tane a couple of as arrant knaues as any in Messina

Con.Dog. A good old man sirhee will be talking as they saywhen the age is inthe wit is outGod helpe vsit is a world to see: well said yfaith neighbour VergeswellGod's a good manand two men ride of a horseone must ride behindean honest soule yfaith sirby my troth he isas euer broke breadbut God is to bee worshiptall men are not alikealas good neighbour

Leon. Indeed neighbour he comes too short of you

Con.Do. Gifts that God giues

Leon. I must leaue you

Con.Dog. One word sirour watch sir haue indeede comprehended two aspitious persons& we would haue them this morning examined before your worship

Leon. Take their examination your selfeand bring it meI am now in great hasteas may appeare vnto you

Const. It shall be suffigance

Leon. Drinke some wine ere you goe: fare you well. Enter.

Messenger. My Lordthey stay for you to giue your daughter to her husband

Leon. Ile wait vpon themI am ready

Dogb. Goe good partnergoe get you to Francis Seacoalebid him bring his pen and inkehorne to the Gaole: we are now to examine those men

Verges. And we must doe it wisely

Dogb. Wee will spare for no witte I warrant you: heere's that shall driue some to a non-comeonly get the learned writer to set downe our excommunicationand meet me at the Iaile.

Cla. And what haue I to giue you backwhose worth May counterpoise this rich and precious gift? Prin. Nothingvnlesse you render her againe

Clau. Sweet Princeyou learn me noble thankfulnes: There Leonatotake her backe againeGiue not this rotten Orenge to your friendShee's but the signe and semblance of her honour: Behold how like a maid she blushes heere! O what authoritie and shew of truth Can cunning sinne couer it selfe withall! Comes not that bloudas modest euidenceTo witnesse simple Vertue? would you not sweare All you that see herthat she were a maideBy these exterior shewes? But she is none: She knowes the heat of a luxurious bed: Her blush is guiltinessenot modestie

Leonato. What doe you meanemy Lord? Clau. Not to be marriedNot to knit my soule to an approued wanton

Leon. Deere my Lordif you in your owne proofeHaue vanquisht the resistance of her youthAnd made defeat of her virginitie

Clau. I know what you would say: if I haue knowne (herYou will sayshe did imbrace me as a husbandAnd so extenuate the forehand sinne: No LeonatoI neuer tempted her with word too largeBut as a brother to his sistershewed Bashfull sinceritie and comely loue

Hero. And seem'd I euer otherwise to you?

Clau. Out on thee seemingI will write against itYou seeme to me as Diane in her OrbeAs chaste as is the budde ere it be blowne: But you are more intemperate in your bloodThan Venusor those pampred animallsThat rage in sauage sensualitie

Hero. Is my Lord wellthat he doth speake so wide? Leon. Sweete Princewhy speake not you? Prin. What should I speake?

I stand dishonour'd that haue gone aboutTo linke my deare friend to a common stale

Leon. Are these things spokenor doe I but dreame? Bast. Sirthey are spokenand these things are true

Bene. This lookes not like a nuptiall

Hero. TrueO God!

Clau. Leonatostand I here? Is this the Prince? is this the Princes brother? Is this face Heroes? are our eies our owne?

Leon. All this is sobut what of this my Lord?

Clau. Let me but moue one question to your daughterAnd by that fatherly and kindly powerThat you haue in herbid her answer truly

Leo. I charge thee doeas thou art my childe

Hero. O God defend me how am I besetWhat kinde of catechizing call you this? Clau. To make you answer truly to your name

Hero. Is it not Hero? who can blot that name With any iust reproach?

Claud. Marry that can HeroHero it selfe can blot out Heroes vertue. What man was hetalkt with you yesternightOut at your window betwixt twelue and one? Now if you are a maidanswer to this

Hero. I talkt with no man at that howre my Lord

Prince. Why then you are no maiden. LeonatoI am sorry you must heare: vpon mine honorMy selfemy brotherand this grieued Count Did see herheare herat that howre last nightTalke with a ruffian at her chamber windowWho hath indeed most like a liberall villaineConfest the vile encounters they haue had A thousand times in secret

Iohn. Fiefiethey are not to be named my LordNot to be spoken ofThere is not chastitie enough in languageWithout offence to vtter them: thus pretty Lady I am sorry for thy much misgouernment

Ben. Sirsirbe patient: for my partI am so attired in wonderI know not what to say

Bea. O on my soule my cosin is belied

Ben. Ladiewere you her bedfellow last night? Bea. Notruly: not although vntill last nightI haue this tweluemonth bin her bedfellow

Leon. Confirm'dconfirm'dO that is stronger made

Which was before barr'd vp with ribs of iron.

Would the Princes lieand Claudio lie

Who lou'd her sothat speaking of her foulnesse

Wash'd it with teares? Hence from herlet her die

Fri. Heare me a littlefor I haue onely bene silent so

longand giuen way vnto this course of fortuneby noting

of the LadieI haue markt.

A thousand blushing apparitions

To start into her facea thousand innocent shames

In Angel whitenesse beare away those blushes

And in her eie there hath appear'd a fire

To burne the errors that these Princes hold

Against her maiden truth. Call me a foole

Trust not my readingnor my obseruations

Which with experimental seale doth warrant

The tenure of my booke: trust not my age

My reuerencecallingnor diuinitie

If this sweet Ladie lye not guiltlesse heere

Vnder some biting error

Leo. Friarit cannot be:

Thou seest that all the Grace that she hath left

Isthat she wil not adde to her damnation

A sinne of periuryshe not denies it: Why seek'st thou then to couer with excuseThat which appeares in proper nakednesse?

Fri. Ladiewhat man is he you are accus'd of?

Hero. They know that do accuse meI know none: If I know more of any man aliue Then that which maiden modestie doth warrantLet all my sinnes lacke mercy. O my FatherProue you that any man with me conuerstAt houres vnmeeteor that I yesternight Maintain'd the change of words with any creatureRefuse mehate metorture me to death

Fri. There is some strange misprision in the Princes

Ben. Two of them haue the verie bent of honorAnd if their wisedomes be misled in this: The practise of it liues in Iohn the bastardWhose spirits toile in frame of villanies

Leo. I know not: if they speake but truth of herThese hands shall teare her: If they wrong her honourThe proudest of them shall wel heare of it. Time hath not yet so dried this bloud of mineNor age so eate vp my inuentionNor Fortune made such hauocke of my meanesNor my bad life reft me so much of friendsBut they shall findeawak'd in such a kindeBoth strength of limbeand policie of mindeAbility in meanesand choise of friendsTo quit me of them throughly

Fri. Pause awhile: And let my counsell sway you in this caseYour daughter heere the Princesse (left for dead) Let her awhile be secretly kept inAnd publish itthat she is dead indeed: Maintaine a mourning ostentationAnd on your Families old monumentHang mournfull Epitaphesand do all ritesThat appertaine vnto a buriall

Leon. What shall become of this? What wil this do?

Fri. Marry this wel carriedshall on her behalfeChange slander to remorsethat is some goodBut not for that dreame I on this strange courseBut on this trauaile looke for greater birth: She dyingas it must be so maintain'dVpon the instant that she was accus'dShal be lamentedpittiedand excus'd Of euery hearer: for it so fals outThat what we hauewe prize not to the worthWhiles we enioy it; but being lack'd and lostWhy then we racke the valuethen we finde The vertue that possession would not shew vs Whiles it was oursso will it fare with Claudio: When he shal heare she dyed vpon his wordsTh' Idea of her life shal sweetly creepe Into his study of imagination. And euery louely Organ of her lifeShall come apparel'd in more precious habite: More mouing delicateand ful of lifeInto the eye and prospect of his soule Then when she liu'd indeed: then shal he mourne

If euer Loue had interest in his LiuerAnd wish he had not so accused her: Nothough he thought his accusation true: Let this be soand doubt not but successe Wil fashion the euent in better shapeThen I can lay it downe in likelihood. But if all ayme but this be leuelld falseThe supposition of the Ladies deathWill quench the wonder of her infamie. And if it sort not wellyou may conceale her As best befits her wounded reputationIn some reclusiue and religious lifeOut of all eyestonguesmindes and iniuries

Bene. Signior Leonatolet the Frier aduise youAnd though you know my inwardnesse and loue Is very much vnto the Prince and Claudio. Yetby mine honorI will deale in thisAs secretly and iustlieas your soule Should with your bodie

Leon. Being that I flow in greefeThe smallest twine may lead me

Frier. 'Tis well consentedpresently awayFor to strange soresstrangely they straine the cureCome Ladydie to liuethis wedding day Perhaps is but prolong'dhaue patience & endure. Enter.

Bene. Lady Beatricehaue you wept all this while? Beat. Yeaand I will weepe a while longer

Bene. I will not desire that

Beat. You haue no reasonI doe it freely

Bene. Surelie I do beleeue your fair cosin is wrong'd

Beat. Ahhow much might the man deserue of mee

that would right her! Bene. Is there any way to shew such friendship? Beat. A verie euen waybut no such friend

Bene. May a man doe it? Beat. It is a mans officebut not yours

Bene. I doe loue nothing in the world so well as youis not that strange?

Beat. As strange as the thing I know notit were as possible for me to sayI loued nothing so well as youbut beleeue me notand yet I lie notI confesse nothingnor I deny nothingI am sorry for my cousin

Bene. By my sword Beatrice thou lou'st me

Beat. Doe not sweare by it and eat it

Bene. I will sweare by it that you loue meeand I will make him eat it that sayes I loue not you

Beat. Will you not eat your word? Bene. With no sawce that can be deuised to itI protest I loue thee

Beat. Why then God forgiue me

Bene. What offence sweet Beatrice? Beat. You haue stayed me in a happy howreI was about to protest I loued you

Bene. And doe it with all thy heart

Beat. I loue you with so much of my heartthat none is left to protest

Bened. Comebid me doe any thing for thee

Beat. Kill Claudio

Bene. Hanot for the wide world

Beat. You kill me to deniefarewell

Bene. Tarrie sweet Beatrice

Beat. I am gonethough I am heerethere is no loue in younay I pray you let me goe

Bene. Beatrice

Beat. Infaith I will goe

Bene. Wee'll be friends first

Beat. You dare easier be friends with meethan fight with mine enemy

Bene. Is Claudio thine enemie?

Beat. Is a not approued in the height a villainethat hath slanderedscorneddishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! whatbeare her in hand vntill they come to take handsand then with publike accusation vncouered slandervnmittigated rancour? O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place

Bene. Heare me Beatrice

Beat. Talke with a man out at a windowa proper saying

Bene. Nay but Beatrice

Beat. Sweet Heroshe is wrong'dshee is slanderedshe is vndone

Bene. Beat?

Beat. Princes and Counties! surelie a Princely testimoniea goodly CountComfecta sweet Gallant surelieO that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into cursiesvalour into complementand men are onelie turned into tongueand trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Herculesthat only tells a lieand sweares it: I cannot be a man with wishingtherfore I will die a woman with grieuing

Bene. Tarry good Beatriceby this hand I loue thee

Beat. Vse it for my loue some other way then swearing by it

Bened. Thinke you in your soule the Count Claudio hath wrong'd Hero? Beat. Yeaas sure as I haue a thoughtor a soule

Bene. EnoughI am engagdeI will challenge himI will kisse your handand so leaue you: by this hand Claudio shall render me a deere account: as you heare of meso thinke of me: goe comfort your coosinI must say she is deadand so farewell. Enter the ConstablesBorachioand the Towne Clerke in gownes.

Keeper. Is our whole dissembly appeard? Cowley. O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton

Sexton. Which be the malefactors? Andrew. Marry that am Iand my partner

Cowley. Nay that's certainewee haue the exhibition to examine

Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examinedlet them come before master Constable

Kee. Write downe Master gentleman Conrade: maistersdoe you serue God: maistersit is proued alreadie that you are little better than false knauesand it will goe neere to be thought so shortlyhow answer you for your selues?

Con. Marry sirwe say we are none

Kemp. A maruellous witty fellow I assure youbut I will goe about with him: come you hither sirraa word in your eare sirI say to youit is thought you are false knaues

Bor. SirI say to youwe are none

Kemp. Wellstand aside'fore God they are both in a tale: haue you writ downe that they are none? Sext. Master Constableyou goe not the way to examineyou must call forth the watch that are their accusers

Kemp. Yea marrythat's the eftest waylet the watch come forth: mastersI charge you in the Princes nameaccuse these men

Watch 1. This man said sirthat Don Iohn the Princes brother was a villaine

Sexton. What heard you him say else? Watch 2. Mary that he had receiued a thousand Dukates of Don Iohnfor accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully

Kemp. Flat Burglarie as euer was committed

Const. Yea by th' masse that it is

Sexton. What else fellow?

Watch 1. And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his wordsto disgrace Hero before the whole assemblyand not marry her

Kemp. O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euerlasting redemption for this

Sexton. What else? Watch. This is all

Sexton. And this is more masters then you can denyPrince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away: Hero was in this manner accus'din this very manner refus'dand vpon the griefe of this sodainely died: Master Constablelet these men be boundand brought to LeonatoI will goe beforeand shew him their examination

Kemp. Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not suspect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee downe an asse! but mastersremember that I am an asse: though it be not written downyet forget not y I am an asse: No thou villainey art full of piety as shall be prou'd vpon thee by good witnesseI am a wise fellowand which is morean officerand which is morea houshoulderand which is moreas pretty a peece of flesh as any in Messinaand one that knowes the Lawgoe to& a rich fellow enoughgoe toand a fellow that hath had lossesand one that hath two gownesand euery thing handsome about him: bring him away: O that I had been writ downe an asse! Enter.

Actus Quintus.

Enter Leonato and his brother.

Brother. If you goe on thusyou will kill your selfeAnd 'tis not wisedome thus to second griefeAgainst your selfe

Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsaileWhich falls into mine eares as profitlesseAs water in a siue: giue not me counsaileNor let no comfort delight mine eareBut such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine. Bring me a father that so lou'd his childeWhose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mineAnd bid him speake of patienceMeasure his woe the length and bredth of mineAnd let it answere euery straine for straineAs thus for thusand such a griefe for suchIn euery lineamentbranchshapeand forme: If such a one will smile and stroke his beardAnd sorrowwaggecrie hemwhen he should gronePatch griefe with prouerbsmake misfortune drunkeWith candle-wasters: bring him yet to meAnd I of him will gather patience: But there is no such manfor brothermen Can counsaileand speake comfort to that griefeWhich they themselues not feelebut tasting itTheir counsaile turnes to passionwhich beforeWould giue preceptiall medicine to rageFetter strong madnesse in a silken thredCharme ache with ayreand agony with wordsNono'tis all mens officeto speake patience To those that wring vnder the load of sorrow: But no mans vertue nor sufficiencie To be so morallwhen he shall endure The like himselfe: therefore giue me no counsaileMy griefs cry lowder then aduertisement

Broth. Therein do men from children nothing differ

Leonato. I pray thee peaceI will be flesh and bloudFor there was neuer yet PhilosopherThat could endure the tooth-ake patientlyHow euer they haue writ the stile of godsAnd made a push at chance and sufferance

Brother. Yet bend not all the harme vpon your selfeMake those that doe offend yousuffer too

Leon. There thou speak'st reasonnay I will doe soMy soule doth tell meHero is beliedAnd that shall Claudio knowso shall the PrinceAnd all of them that thus dishonour her. Enter Prince and Claudio.

Brot. Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily

Prin. Good dengood den

Clau. Good day to both of you

Leon. Heare you my Lords? Prin. We haue some haste Leonato

Leo. Some haste my Lord! welfareyouwel my LordAre you so hasty now? wellall is one

Leonato. Tushtushmanneuer fleere and iest at meI speake not like a dotardnor a fooleAs vnder priuiledge of age to braggeWhat I haue done being yongor what would doeWere I not oldknow Claudio to thy headThou hast so wrong'd my innocent childe and meThat I am forc'd to lay my reuerence byAnd with grey haires and bruise of many daiesDoe challenge thee to triall of a manI say thou hast belied mine innocent childe. Thy slander hath gone through and through her heartAnd she lies buried with her ancestors: O in a tombe where neuer scandall sleptSaue this of hersfram'd by thy villanie

Claud. My villany? Leonato. Thine Claudiothine I say

Prin. You say not right old man

Leon. My Lordmy LordIle proue it on his body if he dareDespight his nice fenceand his actiue practiseHis Maie of youthand bloome of lustihood

Bro. He shall kill two of vsand men indeedBut that's no matterlet him kill one first: Win me and weare melet him answere meCome follow me boycome sir boycome follow me Sir boyile whip you from your foyning fenceNayas I am a gentlemanI will

Leon. Brother

Brot. Content your selfGod knows I lou'd my neeceAnd she is deadslander'd to death by villainesThat dare as well answer a man indeedeAs I dare take a serpent by the tongue. BoyesapesbraggartsIackesmilke-sops

Leon. Brother Anthony

Brot. Hold you contentwhat man? I know themyea And what they weigheuen to the vtmost scrupleScamblingout-facingfashion-monging boyesThat lyeand cogand floutdepraueand slanderGoe antiquelyand show outward hidiousnesseAnd speake of halfe a dozen dang'rous words

How they might hurt their enemiesif they durst. And this is all

Leon. But brother Anthonie

Ant. Come'tis no matterDo not you meddlelet me deale in this

Pri. Gentlemen bothwe will not wake your patience My heart is sorry for your daughters death: But on my honour she was charg'd with nothing But what was trueand very full of proofe

Leon. My Lordmy Lord

Prin. I will not heare you. Enter Benedicke.

Leo. No come brotherawayI will be heard.

Exeunt. ambo.

Bro. And shallor some of vs will smart for it

Prin. Seeseehere comes the man we went to seeke

Clau. Now signiorwhat newes? Ben. Good day my Lord

Prin. Welcome signioryou are almost come to part almost a fray

Clau. Wee had likt to haue had our two noses snapt off with two old men without teeth

Prin. Leonato and his brotherwhat think'st thou? had wee foughtI doubt we should haue beene too yong for them

Ben. In a false quarrell there is no true valourI came to seeke you both

Clau. We haue beene vp and downe to seeke theefor we are high proofe melanchollyand would faine haue it beaten awaywilt thou vse thy wit?

Ben. It is in my scabberdshall I draw it?

Prin. Doest thou weare thy wit by thy side?

Clau. Neuer any did sothough verie many haue been beside their witI will bid thee draweas we do the minstrelsdraw to pleasure vs

Prin. As I am an honest man he lookes paleart thou sickeor angrie? Clau. Whatcourage man: what though care kil'd a catthou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care

Ben. SirI shall meete your wit in the careereand you charge it against meI pray you chuse another subiect

Clau. Nay then giue him another staffethis last was broke crosse

Prin. By this lighthe changes more and moreI thinke he be angrie indeede

Clau. If he behe knowes how to turne his girdle

Ben. Shall I speake a word in your eare? Clau. God blesse me from a challenge

Ben. You are a villaineI iest notI will make it good how you darewith what you dareand when you dare: do me rightor I will protest your cowardise: you haue kill'd a sweete Ladieand her death shall fall heauie on youlet me heare from you

Clau. WellI will meete youso I may haue good cheare

Prin. Whata feasta feast?

Clau. I faith I thanke himhe hath bid me to a calues head and a Caponthe which if I doe not carue most curiouslysay my knife's naughtshall I not finde a woodcocke too?

Ben. Siryour wit ambles wellit goes easily

Prin. Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other day: I said thou hadst a fine wit: true saies shea fine little one: no said Ia great wit: right saies sheea great grosse one: nay said Ia good wit: iust said sheit hurts no body: nay said Ithe gentleman is wise: certaine said shea wise gentleman: nay said Ihe hath the tongues: that I beleeue said sheefor hee swore a thing to me on munday nightwhich he forswore on tuesday morning: there's a double tonguethere's two tongues: thus did shee an howre together trans-shape thy particular vertuesyet at last she concluded with a sighthou wast the proprest man in Italie

Claud. For the which she wept heartilyand said shee car'd not

Prin. Yea that she didbut yet for all thatand if shee did not hate him deadlieshee would loue him dearelythe old mans daughter told vs all

Clau. Allalland moreouerGod saw him when he was hid in the garden

Prin. But when shall we set the sauage Bulls hornes on the sensible Benedicks head? Clau. Yea and text vnderneathheere dwells Benedicke the married man

Ben. Fare you wellBoyyou know my mindeI will leaue you now to your gossep-like humoryou breake iests as braggards do their bladeswhich God be thanked hurt not: my Lordfor your manie courtesies I thank youI must discontinue your companieyour brother the Bastard is fled from Messina: you haue among youkill'd a sweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lackebeard therehe and I shall meeteand till then peace be with him

Prin. He is in earnest

Clau. In most profound earnestand Ile warrant youfor the loue of Beatrice

Prin. And hath challeng'd thee

Clau. Most sincerely

Prin. What a prettie thing man iswhen he goes in his doublet and hoseand leaues off his wit. Enter ConstableConradeand Borachio.

Clau. He is then a Giant to an Apebut then is an Ape a Doctor to such a man

Prin. First I aske thee what they haue donethirdlie I aske thee what's their offencesixt and lastlie why they are committedand to concludewhat you lay to their charge

Clau. Rightlie reasonedand in his owne diuisionand by my troth there's one meaning well suted

Prin. Who haue you offended mastersthat you are thus bound to your answer? this learned Constable is too cunning to be vnderstoodwhat's your offence?

Bor. Sweete Princelet me go no farther to mine answere: do you heare meand let this Count kill mee: I haue deceiued euen your verie eies: what your wisedomes could not discouerthese shallow fooles haue brought to lightwho in the night ouerheard me confessing to this manhow Don Iohn your brother incensed me to slander the Ladie Herohow you were brought into the Orchardand saw me court Margaret in Heroes garmentshow you disgrac'd her when you should marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon recordwhich I had rather seale with my deaththen repeate ouer to my shame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my masters false accusation: and briefelieI desire nothing but the reward of a villaine

Prin. Runs not this speech like yron through your bloud? Clau. I haue drunke poison whiles he vtter'd it

Prin. But did my Brother set thee on to this? Bor. Yeaand paid me richly for the practise of it

Prin. He is compos'd and fram'd of treacherie

And fled he is vpon this villanie

Clau. Sweet Heronow thy image doth appeare In the rare semblance that I lou'd it first

Const. Comebring away the plaintiffesby this time our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: and mastersdo not forget to specifie when time & place shall seruethat I am an Asse

Leo. Nonot so villainethou beliest thy selfeHere stand a paire of honourable menA third is fled that had a hand in it: I thanke you Princes for my daughters deathRecord it with your high and worthie deedes'Twas brauely doneif you bethinke you of it

Clau. I know not how to pray your patienceYet I must speakechoose your reuenge your selfeImpose me to what penance your inuention Can lay vpon my sinneyet sinn'd I notBut in mistaking

Prin. By my soule nor IAnd yet to satisfie this good old manI would bend vnder anie heauie waightThat heele enioyne me to

Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter liueThat were impossiblebut I praie you bothPossesse the people in Messina hereHow innocent she diedand if your loue Can labour aught in sad inuentionHang her an epitaph vpon her toombAnd sing it to her bonessing it to night: To morrow morning come you to my houseAnd since you could not be my sonne in lawBe yet my Nephew: my brother hath a daughterAlmost the copie of my childe that's deadAnd she alone is heire to both of vsGiue her the right you should haue giu'n her cosinAnd so dies my reuenge

Leon. To morrow then I will expect your commingTo night I take my leauethis naughtie man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret

Who I beleeue was packt in all this wrongHired to it by your brother

Bor. Noby my soule she was notNor knew not what she did when she spoke to meBut alwaies hath bin iust and vertuousIn anie thing that I do know by her

Const. Moreouer sirwhich indeede is not vnder white and blackthis plaintiffe herethe offendour did call mee asseI beseech you let it be remembred in his punishmentand also the watch heard them talke of one Deformedthey say he weares a key in his eare and a lock hanging by itand borrowes monie in Gods namethe which he hath vs'd so longand neuer paiedthat now men grow hard-harted and will lend nothing for Gods sake: praie you examine him vpon that point

Leon. I thanke thee for thy care and honest paines

Const. Your worship speakes like a most thankefull and reuerend youthand I praise God for you

Leon. There's for thy paines

Const. God saue the foundation

Leon. GoeI discharge thee of thy prisonerand I thanke thee

Const. I leaue an arrant knaue with your worshipwhich I beseech your worship to correct your selfefor the example of others: God keepe your worshipI wish your worship wellGod restore you to healthI humblie giue you leaue to departand if a merrie meeting may be wishtGod prohibite it: come neighbour

Leon. Vntill to morrow morningLordsfarewell.

Exeunt.

Brot. Farewell my Lordswe looke for you to morrow

Prin. We will not faile

Clau. To night ile mourne with Hero

Leon. Bring you these fellowes onweel talke with MargaretHow her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.

Bene. A most manly wit Margaretit will not hurt a woman: and so I pray thee call BeatriceI giue thee the bucklers

Mar. Giue vs the swordswee haue bucklers of our owne

Bene. If you vse them Margaretyou must put in the pikes with a viceand they are dangerous weapons for Maides

Mar. WellI will call Beatrice to youwho I thinke hath legges.

Exit Margarite.

Ben. And therefore will come. The God of loue that sits aboueand knowes meand knowes mehow pittifull I deserue. I meane in singingbut in louingLeander the good swimmerTroilous the first imploier of pandarsand a whole booke full of these quondam carpet-mongerswhose name yet runne smoothly in the euen rode of a blanke versewhy they were neuer so truely turned ouer and ouer as my poore selfe in loue: marrie I cannot shew it rimeI haue triedI can finde out no rime to Ladie but babiean innocent rime: for scornehornea hard rime: for schoole foolea babling rime: verie ominous endingsnoI was not borne vnder a riming Plannetfor I cannot wooe in festiuall tearmes: Enter Beatrice.

Beat. Thenis spoken: fare you well nowand yet ere I goelet me goe with that I camewhich iswith knowing what hath past betweene you and Claudio

Bene. Onely foule wordsand thereupon I will kisse thee

Beat. Foule words is but foule windand foule wind is but foule breathand foule breath is noisometherefore I will depart vnkist

Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right senceso forcible is thy witbut I must tell thee plainelyClaudio vndergoes my challengeand either I must shortly heare from himor I will subscribe him a cowardand I pray thee now tell mefor which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in loue with me?

Beat. For them all togetherwhich maintain'd so

politique a state of euillthat they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them: but for which of my good parts did you first suffer loue for me?

Bene. Suffer loue! a good epithiteI do suffer loue indeedefor I loue thee against my will

Beat. In spight of your heart I thinkalas poore heartif you spight it for my sakeI will spight it for yoursfor I will neuer loue that which my friend hates

Bened. Thou and I are too wise to wooe peaceablie

Bea. It appeares not in this confessionthere's not one wise man among twentie that will praise himselfe

Bene. An oldan old instance Beatricethat liu'd in the time of good neighboursif a man doe not erect in this age his owne tombe ere he dieshee shall liue no longer in monumentsthen the Bels ring& the Widdow weepes

Beat. And how long is that thinke you?

Ben. Questionwhy an hower in clamour and a quarter in rhewmetherfore is it most expedient for the wiseif Don worme (his conscience) finde no impediment to the contrarieto be the trumpet of his owne vertuesas I am to my selfe so much for praising my selfewho I my selfe will beare witnesse is praise worthieand now tell mehow doth your cosin?

Beat. Verie ill

Bene. And how doe you? Beat. Verie ill too. Enter Vrsula.

Bene. Serue Godloue meand mendthere will I leaue you toofor here comes one in haste

Vrs. Madamyou must come to your Vncleyonders old coile at homeit is prooued my Ladie Hero hath bin falselie accusdethe Prince and Claudio mightilie abusdeand Don Iohn is the author of allwho is fled and gone: will you come presentlie?

Beat. Will you go heare this newes Signior?

Bene. I will liue in thy heartdie in thy lapand be buried in thy eies: and moreouerI will goe with thee to thy Vncles.

Exeunt.

Enter ClaudioPrinceand three or foure with Tapers.

Clau. Is this the monument of Leonato? Lord. It is my Lord.

Epitaph.

Done to death by slanderous tonguesWas the Hero that here lies: Death in guerdon of her wrongsGiues her fame which neuer dies: So the life that dyed with shameLiues in death with glorious fame. Hang thou there vpon the tombePraising her when I am dombe

Clau. Now musick sound & sing your solemn hymne

Song.

Pardon goddesse of the nightThose that slew thy virgin knightFor the which with songs of woeRound about her tombe they goe: Midnight assist our monehelpe vs to sigh and grone. Heauilyheauily. Graues yawne and yeelde your deadTill death be vtteredHeauenlyheauenly

Lo. Now vnto thy bones good nightyeerely will I do this right

Prin. Good morrow mastersput your Torches outThe wolues haue preiedand lookethe gentle day Before the wheeles of Phoebusround about Dapples the drowsie East with spots of grey: Thanks to you alland leaue vsfare you well

Clau. Good morrow masterseach his seuerall way

Prin. Come let vs henceand put on other weedesAnd then to Leonatoes we will goe

Clau. And Hymen now with luckier issue speedsThen this for whom we rendred vp this woe.

Exeunt.

Enter LeonatoBene. Marg. Vrsulaold manFrierHero.

Frier. Did I not tell you she was innocent?

Leo. So are the Prince and Claudio who accus'd herVpon the errour that you heard debated: But Margaret was in some fault for thisAlthough against her will as it appearesIn the true course of all the question

Old. WellI am glad that all things sort so well

Bene. And so am Ibeing else by faith enforc'd To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it

Leo. Well daughterand you gentlewomen allWithdraw into a chamber by your seluesAnd when I send for youcome hither mask'd: The Prince and Claudio promis'd by this howre To visit meyou know your office BrotherYou must be father to your brothers daughterAnd giue her to young Claudio.

Exeunt. Ladies.

Old. Which I will doe with confirm'd countenance

Bene. FrierI must intreat your painesI thinke

Frier. To doe what Signior? Bene. To binde meor vndoe meone of them: Signior Leonatotruth it is good Signior

Your neece regards me with an eye of fauour

Leo. That eye my daughter lent her'tis most true

Bene. And I doe with an eye of loue requite her

Leo. The sight whereof I thinke you had from meFrom Claudioand the Princebut what's your will?

Bened. Your answer sir is EnigmaticallBut for my willmy will isyour good will May stand with oursthis day to be conioyn'dIn the state of honourable marriageIn which (good Frier) I shall desire your helpe

Leon. My heart is with your liking

Frier. And my helpe. Enter Prince and Claudiowith attendants.

Prin. Good morrow to this faire assembly

Leo. Good morrow Princegood morrow Claudio: We heere attend youare you yet determin'dTo day to marry with my brothers daughter?

Claud. Ile hold my minde were she an Ethiope

Leo. Call her forth brotherheres the Frier ready

Prin. Good morrow Benedickewhy what's the matter? That you haue such a Februarie faceSo full of frostof stormeand clowdinesse

Claud. I thinke he thinkes vpon the sauage bull: Tushfeare not manwee'll tip thy hornes with goldAnd all Europa shall reioyce at theeAs once Europa did at lusty IoueWhen he would play the noble beast in loue

Ben. Bull Ioue sirhad an amiable lowAnd some such strange bull leapt your fathers CowA got a Calfe in that same noble featMuch like to youfor you haue iust his bleat. Enter brotherHeroBeatriceMargaretVrsula.

Cla. For this I owe you: here comes other recknings. Which is the Lady I must seize vpon? Leo. This same is sheand I doe giue you her

Cla. Why then she's minesweet let me see your face

Leon. No that you shal nottill you take her handBefore this Frierand sweare to marry her

Clau. Giue me your hand before this holy FrierI am your husband if you like of me

Hero. And when I liu'd I was your other wifeAnd when you lou'dyou were my other husband

Clau. Another Hero?

Hero. Nothing certainer. One Hero diedbut I doe liueAnd surely as I liueI am a maid

Prin. The former HeroHero that is dead

Leon. Shee died my Lordbut whiles her slander liu'd

Frier. All this amazement can I qualifieWhen after that the holy rites are endedIle tell you largely of faire Heroes death: Meane time let wonder seeme familiarAnd to the chappell let vs presently

Ben. Soft and faire Frierwhich is Beatrice? Beat. I answer to that namewhat is your will? Bene. Doe not you loue me? Beat. Why nono more then reason

Bene. Why then your Vncleand the Prince& Claudiohaue beene deceiuedthey swore you did

Beat. Doe not you loue mee? Bene. Troth nono more then reason

Beat. Why then my Cosin Margaret and Vrsula Are much deceiu'dfor they did sweare you did

Bene. They swore you were almost sicke for me

Beat. They swore you were wel-nye dead for me

Bene. 'Tis no matterthen you doe not loue me? Beat. No trulybut in friendly recompence

Leon. Come CosinI am sure you loue the gentlema[n]

Clau. And Ile be sworne vpon'tthat he loues herFor heres a paper written in his handA halting sonnet of his owne pure braineFashioned to Beatrice

Hero. And heeres anotherWrit in my cosins handstolne from her pocketContaining her affection vnto Benedicke

Bene. A miraclehere's our owne hands against our hearts: come I will haue theebut by this light I take thee for pittie

Beat. I would not denie youbut by this good dayI yeeld vpon great perswasion& partly to saue your lifefor I was toldyou were in a consumption

Leon. Peace I will stop your mouth

Prin. How dost thou Benedicke the married man?

Bene. Ile tell thee what Prince: a Colledge of witte-crackers cannot flout mee out of my humourdost thou think I care for a Satyre or an Epigram? noif a man will be beaten with brainesa shall weare nothing handsome about him: in briefesince I do purpose to marryI will thinke nothing to any purpose that the world can say against itand therefore neuer flout at mefor I haue said against it: for man is a giddy thingand this is my conclusion: for thy part ClaudioI did thinke to haue beaten theebut in that thou art like to be my kinsmanliue vnbruis'dand loue my cousin

Cla. I had well hop'd y wouldst haue denied Beatricey I might haue cudgel'd thee out of thy single lifeto make thee a double dealerwhich out of questio[n] thou wilt beif my Cousin do not looke exceeding narrowly to thee

Bene. Comecomewe are friendslet's haue a dance ere we are marriedthat we may lighten our own heartsand our wiues heeles

Leon. Wee'll haue dancing afterward

Bene. Firstof my wordtherfore play musick. Princethou art sadget thee a wifeget thee a wifethere is no staff more reuerend then one tipt with horn. Enter. Mes.

Messen. My Lordyour brother Iohn is tane in flightAnd brought with armed men backe to Messina