Not since her star turn as a single mom-cum-stripper who gets caught up in steamy political hijinks in opus Striptease have I been so excited about a Demi Moore movie role — albeit for real this time now she's been cast as none other than Gloria Steinem in the Linda Lovelace biopic, Lovelace. A noted feminist icon — preaching to the converted here, I know — Steinem was vocally anti-porn and wrote a scathing piece in Ms. magazine about how Lovelace was beaten and coerced into making porn. There could be worse actresses chosen to play her, but do you think Moore has what it takes to take on one of the greats? [THR]

Figure skating-obsessed queens will be borderline super-jazzed/devastated to learn that their idol Johnny Weir has up and gotten married. Getting hitched to his Russian boyfriend Victor Voronov, the pair spent the holidays visiting each other's parents before making it legit on New Year's Eve. "I'm married!" Tweeted Johnny. Also telling unexpected bestie Jill Zarin that the pair will settle in New York where they'll have a follow-up ceremony in the summer. "Wedding in summer! But all the official stuff is done now! No more livin' in sin!" [E!]

This one's pretty rich: a housekeeper at London's Intercontinental Hotel has accused Lady Gaga of straight up "bathing in blood as part of a Satanic ritual". Dishing to the website Truthquake (too much!), the staff member explains how Gaga left the tub full of red liquid when she checked out. "Lady Gaga left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer," she said. "The incident was reported to the concierge." [The Sun]Gaga's manicurist is being sued for doing too good a job on her nails and striking up a little side business with the singer. [NYDN]

No one really knows what Katy Perry and Russell Brand are feeling in the wake of their divorce announcement – with reports suggesting they're happy, sad, relieved, sideswiped or depressed on any given day. And now comes the inevitable talk of money. After Russ confirmed to New York mag last year that they didn't sign a pre-nup, he's now entitled to half of her estimated $40 million fortune. And while it makes kitties cry to think of those two bickering over cash, it does make us think of War Of The Roses and the amazing Kathleen Turner. Glass half full! [NYDN]

Eva Longoria suggests not commenting on how amazing and trim someone looks in the wake of a divorce, as there's every chance their break-up diet is far from healthy. "I remember after my divorce, I was so thin and everyone kept saying how great I looked. It was probably the most unhealthy place I've ever been," she said. "So it was funny what people would see as 'healthy.' In my worst time, people were saying I've never looked better." [NYDN]

What is by far the most delightfully ridiculous news you'll hear all day: Rosie O'Donnell was barred from Diddy's NYE party because her entourage was too big. [Page Six]

Paris Hilton was kicked offstage by her DJ boyfriend for being too distracting on NYE/had to change her dress and left of her own free will/who cares? [Page Six]

Usher says that despite popular opinion of his ex Tameka Raymond, he's an awesome dad. [NYDN]

The gods of logic are ruling justly, ensuring that Meryl Streep is kicking Tom Cruise's ass at the box office. [E!]

Punk'd is so much better with women at the helm: Miley Cyrus and Kelly Osbourne getting Khloe Kardashian but good. [Daily Mail]

Multi-talented Kim Kardashian plans on "soaking in all the lessons learned in 2011" while simultaneously "not looking back". This one's begging for a GIF. [US]

Rihanna brings the girls out to play in a fetching lace/leopard-print number. [US]

If you were wondering about the state of LeAnn Rimes's ovaries, please stop. She's sick of it. [US]

She's all shades of awesome, so it's only fitting that Salma Hayek will be knighted in France. [People]

Lindsay Lohan wisely goes bodyguard shopping in the wake of her latest stalker scare. Making matters creepier for Linds, her new stalker has some kind of weird friendship with her old one. [TMZ]

Someone call me an ambulance! Kristen Wiig is going to be on Portlandia. [Vulture]