I think I can safely say that the highlight of the relationship was the eight or so seconds it took him to walk through my front door for the first time and behold the awesomeness of my taste and self-sufficiency (and he liked the place; he really, really liked it!). In one perfect moment, the house fused my real self and my fantasy version of myself into one glorious—if unmanicured— entity. Here was a woman with azure walls and leaded-glass windows! Here was a woman with no roommates, no shared walls, and an air conditioner! How could anyone not fall for her instantly? How could she not be irresistible to every man, woman, child, and pet who had the occasion to cross her threshold? And how, in turn, could the self-possessing effects of all this experience and all these beautiful objects and all this space not allow her to see the love and irresistibility of others?

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