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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Top Ten MAJOR Fail Gifts for Women

1. Gym membership/exercise equipment
Unless you know you know your woman VERY well in this area and have talked about it, stay away from this type of gift. Most women are self-concious about their weight and don't want to think that their significant other thinks they are fat. Because really, that's what you're saying. Isn't it? No, probably not. You may just think you are doing a nice thing, but it won't be seen that way.

2. A gift thinly veiled as a gift for yourself
Eagles tickets? A new fishing rod? A 72" plasma TV? Lingerie? "Surprise! I got you these awesome tickets! We're going to have SUCH a great time!" Don't even try it.

3. Cleaning items
Unless it's a Roomba or a maid, please do not get cleaning items for a gift. There is nothing about cleaning that makes me feel special.

4. Stuffed animals
Really, I think stuffed animals are only good for people 18 and under. I know Vermont Teddy Bear is always advertising around the holidays, but don't fall for it. It's just a big dust catcher! (Note: I actually love Vermont Teddy Bear and just visited their factory last summer with Dash. Cute for kids, not for grown women.)

5. Clothes
Again, unless you know your lady VERY well, please don't try to buy her clothes. Sizes vary greatly with clothing, and styles are hard to pinpoint. This will probably only make more work for her because she will have to return or exchange things.

6. Bath & Body Works
Maybe it's just me, but I'm not a fan of lotion, spray, and body wash. Anyone else? To me, it's one of those last-minute-I-have-no-idea-what-to-get-you-so-I-ran-to-the-mall-and-the-salesgirl-said-you'd-like-this gifts.

7. Candles
Lame. See above.

8. Appliances
Like I said in #3, a Roomba might be an appropriate gift. Might. But, a blender, new washing machine or dishwasher should be part of your household expenses, not a gift. Unless, of course, this is REALLY what she wants. (I actually asked for and received a fabulous toaster oven one year.) But, I would still get a little something else to go along with it.

9. Anything from Spencer's
You know, the store you went into when you were a teenager, sneaking glances over your shoulder and giggling the whole way through? While you may think that "fun game" you bought to spice things up in the bedroom is going to be great... chances are your lady will think it's in poor taste. And, it is.

10. Pets
Maybe this one is a little harsh. I know some people would probably love a cat/dog/fish as a gift. But, me? Right now, it's just more work. And, I'd want a say in choosing the pet too. Best to pass, in my opinion.

I'm laughing because my m-i-l, who just doesn't "get" me after 25 years, just sent me a gift card to Bath & Body Works for my birthday. She still doesn't get me.

I read your list from last week, and I have to say that I am SO TIRED of getting flowers. To me, they smack of "I have no idea what to get you, and I don't really want to try to figure it out, so I'll send you flowers." For the past 25 years, every anniversary and Mother's Day and Valentine's Day has been flowers. UGH. I hate to sound whiney and complainey--which is why I've never told my husband--but enough already!

#2 is PRICELESS! My husband has done this to me on several occasions. One year he bought me a really nice blender, and I thought to myself "wha...?". Turns out he wanted to start having smoothies for breakfast, so viola! Great list. :)