Sunday, February 28, 2010

Blah blah blah blah . . . .

Sometimes I just feel the need to write and let things out. Today is one of those days where I'd rather write than do something useful or productive. Do you ever feel like that? Right now I feel like there are hundreds of little sprouts of ideas and thoughts whizzing around in my brain but very few of them ever find a place to take root. I suppose that part of my problem is that I'm not the kind of person that just lets things take root. Last week I went over to a neighbors house just to chat because I need that right now. She told me that years ago she had a visiting teacher who told her of a lady she used to visit. The lady's house was always a disaster but during the visits the two ladies had such wonderful conversations. The "messy" lady always had something interesting to talk about or was lately trying out something unique or fun. The visiting teacher asked her "How do you find time to do all this stuff and know about all these things?" The "messy" lady responded, "Look at my house!" I feel exactly the opposite. My house is not decorated, nor is it spic and span, but it is clean. And sometimes I'm afraid that I'll look back on my life and ask myself why I spent so much time on having a clean house. It seems silly. I actually walk down the hallway and if I notice one of my hairs on the tile floor I make a note of it to pick it up either on my way back down the hall. My mental to do list goes something like this:

1. Feed the baby2. Calm the baby down3. Pick up the toys off the carpets (Oh, there are hairs and popcorn kernels on the carpets.)4. Pull out the vacuum and leave it on the carpet so that when I get a chance I can vacuum.5. Think about quilting6. Wash and put lotion on my feet because they are gross and the heels are cracked.7. Play with the baby. Change the baby. Oh there are hairs in the hallway!8. Get some hershey kisses from the kitchen and eat them.9. Play with baby some more.10. Try to sweep up the hairs in the hallway.11. Put the bag of quilting stuff on the table so I'll remember that I want to do that.12. Oh, I'm in the living room and the vacuum is still there. Forget about quilting, and vacuum the floor.13. Comfort the baby.14. Pop some more hershey kisses in my mouth while I think about the next time I'll be able to work out. When can Daddy watch the kids?15. Lug the vacuum back to the closet. Oh! There is sand on the closet floor. Proceed to pull everything out of the closet and. . .16. Play with baby. Put him down for a nap.17. Blog18. Go to the bathroom. Ooops, forgot to sweep the sand out of the closet. Better do that. Sweep it up. Put everything back in the closet. Gotta go to the bathroom real bad.19. Put the broom back and race to the potty.20. Go to the kitchen thinking that I should nap while the baby naps.21. What's going to be for lunch? as I eat more chocolate.22. Stroll into the living room. What's that on the table? Oh, quilting.

Am I a wacko? Does anyone else work like this? So now, looking back on what I have to show for myself for this part of the morning. Um . . . . . . basically nothing except that I love my baby and I may have a few more pounds to lose and a few more cavities to pay for. But hey! The house is clean!

Now that I've written all this out I think I need to be more focused. I should really ignore that hair issue. It's a little obsessive don't you think?

What I'd really like to do is be a cool mom. That's my greatest desire. Not cool meaning thin, attractive, has a nicely decorated house, has well dressed kids, and makes unique sounding dishes for dinner that don't really taste good but thinks they do, and has time to go to the gym. What I mean by a cool mom is one that isn't afraid to make a mess every once in a while, makes time to read aloud to the kids, runs with them, does cartwheels, sets a good example by praying daily, sets a good example in diet and exersize, talks about the news with them, plants a garden with them, travels with them, makes them walk places, feeds them chocolate every once in a while, and talks about her goals with her kids so they know she has a life that involves other things besides them.

Totally off the topic, I've been thinking about how lucky I am to be safe here in Doha. No earthquakes, storms, or job trials for us right now. But I keep thinking about how unprepared we are if something were to happen to us. A few days ago I heard a rumble and thought I felt movement under my feet while I was standing in my kitchen. I said "Oh crap!" aloud and Jonathan looked at me and asked me, "Why?" The rumble turned out to be the people upstairs moving some furniture or something big. I thought an earthquake had struck Doha. With Haiti and Chile so fresh in my mind I've been slightly thinking about how those situations would affect me and my family. As members of the LDS church, we are told and told again and reminded and reminded again to prepare our emergency kits and food storage for our own good. Many of us don't do it, or do a crappy job of it. Some of us do it and do a wonderful job of it. I personally haven't done it and I find it ironic that I still get angry at my children every day for not listening to me, when I don't even have the respect to listen to God half the time. He doesn't get mad at me. Of course, I am not God, but I should be trying to be like him. Good, patient, generous, loving, kind, etc. Bla, bla, bla. I could go on and on but I won't.

So here's to being more focused! I'm going to go get all my important documents in order so that if we have to flee the country we'll have everything in one place. Yay!

6 comments:

Christine! So many of your thoughts echo mine! I think it's good every once in a while to evaluate our priorities. As a mom, I often feel pulled in so many directions. I even chuckled while I read your list. You wrote it so perfectly. And guess what? You ARE a cool mom. One of the coolest moms I know.

I've been wanting to get going on food storage again too. And being prepared in general.

And how I wish you still lived down the street from me, blah, blah, blah.

Your thought process/activity list made me laugh...um. I think I have one exactly like it? :)

For what it's worth, I've been interviewing my grandma and trying to write her life story for some time now, and almost every time I talk to her about things, she says some variation of, "If I had it to do over again, I would spend a lot less time cleaning and worrying and a lot more time just talking and BEING with my kids." It has interested me because she has sincere regret over it, and at the same time I've beat myself up time and time again because I can't get it together and keep house as immaculately as my grandma. I think what it boils down to is that something has to give. We have to choose the right things to give. Cleanliness is important, but there are definitely things that shouldn't be sacrificed to it. Your kids aren't going to remember that you kept a clean house unless it's the thing that kept you from them. So, go play with your baby and share some Hershey kisses with your boys! :)

It's genetic Christine only drugs can focus you. 34 years now and I can't get simple things done at home because there is so much to overwhelm me. When will you be in Utah sista? I am going to reserve campground 44 for the little Dryg reunion. It's time for us to get our kids up to Mirror Lake and into the Uintahs. Hopefully they will remember it for the rest of their lives like we have.

Hahaha! I can soooo relate! I used to be the kind of woman who got everything done neatly and in order, and never allowed myself to get distracted until the first job was done. Then I got pregnant, quit work, and had a baby.

HAH.

Now I somehow leave half-finished projects all over the house, wander from one chore to another, stop multiple times in the middle of whatever I'm doing to get totally engrossed in my son's antics, and just generally am incapable of focusing on one thing.

Okay, I take it back, I'm probably capable of it... I've just decided to not be as uptight about everything as I used to be. Gotta say, it's kinda a fun change. :)

About Me

I'm Christine. I live in Istanbul with my family while my husband conducts historical research. I'm rarely bored and almost always could use a nap. I love children, both mine and most others. I have many dreams and work slowly away at them in my bits of spare time.