Saturday, December 12, 2009

Disorderly Santas

Santarchists in Pittsburgh set out to cause merry on the city's South Side District.

By Scott Beveridge

PITTSBURGH, Pa., – There was an invasion of sorts tonight of troublemakers in Pittsburgh involving nearly 30 quirky people dressed in outrageous Santa Claus costumes.

One man stood out wearing a beige flasher’s trench coat and exposing a purple gift-wrapped package over his package while another had a brown stitched-leather serial killer’s mask hiding his face. Yet another came to the party wearing a green and silver Mylar hat and robe only to strut alone on East Carson Street.

It’s just another Saturday night during the Christmas season in the city’s artsy South Side District where a young woman who was seemingly oblivious to the confusion danced with a Hula Hoop beside a homeless guy strumming a ukulele.

A rather harmless-looking, short female Santa passing out candy canes turned to me and explained that she was part of a worldwide event involving Santanarchists. They are part of a movement she identified as the Cacophony Society that was even holding such events as far away as Paris. The oddballs participating in the Pittsburgh shindig were supposed to donate a Christmas gift and food item to the poor while also honoring the intent of the Cacophonists.

The society’s mission, below, can be found in its Web site:

The Cacophony Society is a randomly gathered network of individuals united in the pursuit of experiences beyond the pale of mainstream society through subversion, pranks, art, fringe explorations and meaningless madness.

But, in Pittsburgh, the Santas had the appearance of being a bunch of wildly creative types on a bar crawl on a mission to get bombed, maybe on eggnog.

The most trouble they apparently caused involved their bursting in the Pittsburgh Scientology center to sing a traditional Christmas carol replaced with devilish and obscene lyrics.

It was hilarious.

Cacophony on Pittsburgh's South Side involving Rudolph wearing a flasher's trench coat and exposing a gift-wrapped purple package over his package.

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About Scott Beveridge

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Welcome to Travel with a Beveridge. Most of the stories, photographs and videos on these pages are the work of Scott Beveridge, an award-winning writer and photographer at the Observer-Reporter newspaper in Washington, Pa. He takes his morning coffee strong, preferably brewed with fresh-ground Sumatra beans, drives a Ford and looks for weird things.

This blog also is a place to promote the work of aspiring young writers and showcase occasional stories written by established scribes. Thank you for pulling up: Grab a stool and make yourself comfortable.

More information about this blogger can be found at his Linkedin and Facebook accounts

"The Gamble on Donora Steel" is an occasional series by Scott Beveridge about the history of steel manufacturing in Donora, Pa.

Industrialists had taken a chance by investing in sprawling steel, wire and zinc mills on the western banks of the Monongahela River in what would become known as Donora, Pa., in 1901. Little did they know that an environmental disaster combined with difficult labor relations would cause this complex to become the first of its kind to permanently shut down decades later in the fall of America's Industrial Revolution. The short stories about the rise and decline of this borough, mostly drawn from headlines in the local newspaper, appear under the following links:

WELCOME TO NOWHERE

Scott Beveridge grew up in Webster, Pa., a village along the Monongahela River that experienced one of worst environmental nightmares in the United States. His family moved there in 1960 about the same time the nearby zinc and steel mills ceased production. Those mill furnaces were to blame for the damages that awoke America to the dangers of air pollution. After their demise, the grass and trees began to return to the barren landscape that appeared as if it belonged on the moon. His short stories about that adventure appear under these links:
Introduction: The warning signs were there

The artichoke dream

Scott sends dirty clothes home when on the road

If you are like him when you travel, your clothes seem to take up more space in your suitcase after you have worn them. Take a tip from Scotty and mail yourself a package home filled with those dirty socks, underwear and T-shirts after you have been on the road for five or six days. You can buy a box and enough postage at the post office for less than $15. Postal workers seem to get a kick out of the idea, and they will even help you fold your box and tape it closed, too. Seek out a post office in a small town, where the workers have more time to gossip, while driving to a tourist destination. Now, you have room in your carryon to cart home your souvenirs, without having to worry about them getting broken or flown to St. Louis when your switchover is aiming for Pittsburgh.

He also hates road warriors; prefers to chill on down time

The successful traveler packs a personality blessed with patience and some understanding of the road.

Scott says do everyone a favor and STAY HOME if you are an anal retentive, control freak who spends far too much time complaining about life. When traveling, folks always take the risk of flight delays and cultural misunderstandings, or having companions who don’t wear watches or luggage and could land in Macon, Ga., when they are flying to Istanbul.

So keep a book or two in your carryon in case you are stuck in the airport in Haiti while rebels are burning tires in the streets and preventing the pilot from reaching the cockpit of your plane. That bag should also carry any prescription drugs you need, deodorant and toothpaste, along with a toothbrush, clean pair of underwear and T-shirt.

When you arrive, please don't linger in your hotel room. Go outside to meet interesting people. You can sleep when you get home.

Always take a moment to sit down and remove your shoes, like the old man in Hanoi, who is shown in the above photograph at the Temple of Literature in Hanoi.

And before you fly overseas, please check with the U.S. Department of State to find out which countries hate Americans the most.