Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis in the 1950's. Educators are beginning to rethink how they address behaviour in schools. Slowly we are appreciating that if students are to learn how to better manage themselves emotionally and behaviourally more successfully then REBT has a lot to offer through RATIONAL EMOTIVE BEHAVIOUR EDUCATION

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Monday, 23 May 2016

An Anxious Adolescent - part 1

This is a transcript of a series of 3 counselling sessions I had with a year 10 student. I used Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to help him. I am a Rational Emotive Behaviour Counsellor.

This student
feels anxious over something that has happened. He asked another student if he
had a problem (are you OK? Can I help?). This was misinterpreted (what do you
mean I have a problem?) and he responded aggressively. The student was taken
aback and then began to mull over the response he received. He asked a trusted
teacher if the esteem in which other teachers held him was now diminished. The
teacher said not in any way but the student remained preoccupied and went to
see the counsellor outlining what had happened and how best to deal with the
situation.

In the
counsellors office

Student: I am concerned about how a student responded
to me. I am caring and I didn’t intend to offend him when I asked him how he
felt and if I could help. I am worried that he thinks I intended to offend him.
I want to be a nurse one day; everyone knows I like to help.

Counsellor: So you asked him if he had a problem and he
didn’t appreciate the questions. He felt annoyed. Is that right?

Student: Yes and I don’t understand why he felt that
way. Anyone who knows me would say that I am caring and I am genuine when I ask
how someone is.

Counsellor: You are caring and considerate of others
generally and you are known for this. One individual has interpreted your
intentions in a negative way and you feel upset and worried about this.

Student: Yes I do. I asked Mr S. if the other teachers
would think less of me because I have offended someone. I am worried about
this.

Counsellor: Using the Emotional Thermometer how would you
rate the intensity of how you feel? How strong is your worry?

Student: It is around 9/10.

Counsellor: That’s strong. How often do you feel like
this and for how long?

Student: Most of the time I feel anxious about things.

Counsellor: How does this affect your day-to-day life?
Does it help you achieve your goals or get in the way?

Student: I can’t focus on what I have to do.

Counsellor: That would be stronger than concern or worry.
Do you know what

anxiety is?

Student: Yes I do.

Counsellor: From what you tell me you feel anxious a lot
of the time because you want everyone to like you and you think it would be
terrible if anyone thought badly of you. You really care about what others
think of you. Do you think you care too much? Do you need other people to
approve of you for you to feel OK?

Student: How did you know that?

Counsellor: The belief that ‘I am OK only if others think
I am’ is an unhealthy belief because it stops you from working towards your goals.
You feel nervous and worried a lot of the time (unhealthy negative feelings)
because you think it would be terrible if anyone knew you made mistakes or
didn’t seem to approve of you.

Student: This stops me from being successful because I
can’t concentrate on my work because I feel very worried a lot of the time! I
worry too much about what others think of me but I can’t seem to stop doing
this.

Counsellor: You have the tendency to believe that
everyone must like you because you are a likeable and caring person and others
should recognise this. Is this fair to say?

Student: Yeah. I just can’t handle it. What can I do?

Counsellor: We will look at your
belief that you need everyone’s approval to be OK and why this is keeping you
anxious. We will work on this next time we meet. In the meantime remind
yourself that you don’t need other people’s approval to be OK. You can prefer
it but you don’t need it.