#15: HELP! They Requested a Submission! What Do I Do NOW?

Breathe. I wrote this for my local Romance Writers’ chapter newsletter after my first request:

“Ah, crap.” Mail waited on the counter. Another SASE had found its way home, thick with unwanted words and unloved characters. Lives were in limbo

‘Ah, crap?’ I’m a writer! Surely I can do better than that! How about: “Her heart sank when she spied the missive in its white shroud of innocence, lying lifeless on the smooth surface of cold, unfeeling granite.” Or maybe: “This paper jailer of dreams held her characters captive. They were sealed; transported in windowless darkness, and hostage to the whims of an overworked judicant.” (Judicant? Did I just make up a word?)

Determined to postpone the ugly truth, I sat down to the day’s email, opened a new message, and typed in the name of my critique buddy. After a sincere, “How are you doing?” and a reiteration of, “We have to get together!” I typed the words: “I received another rejection today (Number 19) from…”

The curser blinked at me, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed – well, if it had facial features, that’s how they would have appeared – and I knew that I must present my cheek for its latest slap. To delay, I opened my Excel chart of agents I had queried, wondering which lucky name I would “highlight” in obliterating gray that day.

I grasped the envelope by the throat and ripped. Pulling out the stack of unremarkable sheets, I scanned the top one for a name. It read:

“Dear Author, Please accept our apologies for the use of a form letter… We only accept manuscripts that…” Yes, yes, I know. What’s your point?

Then I saw words that didn’t make sense. So I read them again. And one more time, to be sure: “If your manuscript meets all these criteria, please send it in its entirety to…”

I paced around the house, counting rings. When she answered I managed to say, “Hi, this is Kris” in an only slightly hysterical tone. I think she said something in response. Probably, “Hi.” She’s polite like that.

I am actually a Kristin but writing as Kris because, while Kristin was an unusual name in 1953, in 1983 you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting one. I don’t want people to see “Kristin” and think I’m in my twenties. I earned this life experience, darn it, and it shows through my characters!

So, Google various possibilities and decide on your name. Go through your document and get your manuscript ready. The next installment will explain how and what you actually submit.