June 28, 2013

Broadcast Rules: I Guarantee It

Some Friday frippery...

Broadcast Rules. I
Guarantee It.

Last week, George Zimmer, founder of The Men’s Wearhouse,
was fired as their TV and radio spokesman. This made headline news all across
the U.S. and created a firestorm among Men’s Wearhouse customers. I’m just
wondering, exactly who would give a shit if some online advertiser changed
their ad campaign? Who would even notice?

And While We’re On
The Subject

I was recently asked by the board of an advertising trade
association to help them re-define their mission and purpose. In the course of
our work, the president of the board asked the 15 or so board members attending a "retreat" to relate
the first commercial they could remember. Almost half the members selected a
commercial that was based on a jingle. While this is hardly a scientific study,
I still think it’s startling considering that nothing in advertising is now
deader than the jingle.

More About Apple
Last week, in a piece called Apple Has Nothing To Say, I commented about Apple's latest advertising effort:

"Apple was once the rebellious, ballsy bad boys of the tech industry. They
knew how to build a brand -- you built it with persuasive advertising
about excellent products. They have given up that ground and now sound
like pompous, overfed CMOs... they have lost their voice. They no longer know who they are. And neither do we."

Apparently consumers agree. If you believe in this kind of thing, according to Bloomberg, copy tests on Apple's latest efforts were dismal.

"The ad scored 489 on the company’s (Ace Metrix) scoring system, below an industry
average of 542 and far below past iconic Apple campaigns that often
topped 700."

Once again I have to add the disclaimer that I have no idea what Ace's methodology is and whether it has any scientific validity (and I can't honestly say I have a great deal of confidence in any of the copy testing methods I've been exposed to.) Nonetheless, I find it hard to imagine that this advertising would be effective with consumers under any circumstances.

The Ultimate Love SeatGerard Streator, 47, was sentenced to five months in prison for having sexual relations with a sofa on a public street in Waukesha, Wisconsin. However, Streator's sentence was stayed and he was placed on one year's probation. You might say he got off easy.

I meant to send this to you earlier. Would have fit well here. It's about time Web Analytics showed something useful: http://gizmodo.com/boston-fans-buried-their-stanley-cup-sorrows-in-a-porn-589308804

"WARNING: This book will make you laugh out loud."

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Ad Contrarian Says:

"Creative people make the ads. Everyone else makes the arrangements."

"Delusional thinking isn't just acceptable in marketing today -- it's mandatory.""Good ads appeal to us as consumers. Great ads appeal to us as humans."

"Social Media: Tens of millions of disagreeable people looking to make trouble."

"As an ad medium, the web is a much better yellow pages and a much worse television."

"Sometimes success in the advertising business is about sitting quietly and letting clients proceed with their hysterical delusions."

"Marketers prefer precise answers that are wrong to imprecise answers that are right."

"Brand studies last for months, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and generally have less impact on business than cleaning the drapes."

"The idea that the same consumer who was frantically clicking her TV remote to escape from advertising was going to merrily click her mouse to interact with it is going to go down as one of the great advertising delusions of all time."

"Nobody really knows what "creativity" is. Every year thousands of people take a pilgrimage to find out. This involves flying to Cannes, snorting cocaine, and having sex with smokers."

"Marketers habitually overestimate the attraction of new things and underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior."

"We don’t get them to try our product by convincing them to love our brand. We get them to love our brand by convincing them to try our product."

"In American business, there is nothing stupider than the previous generation of management."

"If the message is right, who cares what screen people see it on? If the message is wrong, what difference does it make?"

"The only form of product information on the planet less trustworthy than advertising is the shrill ravings of web maniacs."

"There's no bigger sucker than a gullible marketer convinced he's missing a trend."

"All ad campaigns are branding campaigns. Whether you intend it to be a branding campaign is irrelevant. It will create an impression of your brand regardless of your intent."

"Nobody ever got famous predicting that things would stay pretty much the same."