Becca is yet another member that has returned to us, and was sorely missed in her absence. As much a part of the family as though she'd been here from the very beginning. She's always welcoming, always kind and supportive, and most importantly ready to offer all the magical feels-breaking plots you could ever ask for. So don't forget to show her your love next time you see her!

Welcome to ENDLESS DIAMOND SKY! We are an animation personified site set both in the animated world and present day San Francisco. A terrible darkness is spreading through the animated realm, driving everyone from their homes and into unknown territory that we know as reality. Now they find themselves at a crossroads: do they fight for their world or do they turn their back on it and make San Francisco their home? What will you choose?

setting san francisco, calif. 2018

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EDS is known to cause death by soul-crushing feels. Don't forget your feels bucket.

The liquid was tasteless as it slid down her throat in large gulps. The girl belched into her palm as she replaced the empty water glass on the bar. Her head was swimming, the bar surface buzzing with a tilted energy of its own below her smoky eyes. Even though Zelda didn't need glasses or contacts, her long-distance perception was shaky. Mingling groups on the other side of the establishment blurred together like an impressionist painting. She was drunk, and teetering the line between 'too much' and 'just enough'. Her hair was still miraculously pinned half-up as she'd done it before departing the dorm, only two strands hanging loose from their former position. Smiling dumbly at the bartender, she pried a few singles from her jacket and put them underneath the glass.

Alighting obviously in the dark, her cellphone vibrated. Ter wasn't far away. Maybe five minutes. Where lightness and bubbles had lifted her, a sudden curdle interrupted the numbness. A fleeting sense of dread hit her square in the pit of her intoxicated gut. Terence'd never seen her wasted like this before. Tipsy, sure, but not sloshed. She was hardly aware of what, specifically, she had to be wary of, but the reaction's visceral nature made her grab hold of the counter. A skinny blond with a giant smile stepped to her right and squeezed her in a tight, firm hug. "Y'gonna be ok love?" She slurred loudly over the rock and roll music. "Trent and I're thinkin..." She trailed off about leaving with him somewhere. Z stared at her and smiled back knowingly. Wherever they went, Lisa could always be bought by anyone with cocaine. Zelda wasn't interested in that arena of recreational substances, but she was loathe to lose her friend's company. The other two in their modest crew of four had split a half hour ago and Zelda (in her own universe) had stuck around to make sure Lisa left in a state of active consciousness.

It'd been a super night - they'd danced, joked, flirted, and drank to their hearts' content. But drama evolved as it often did, and as the evening ticked closer to midnight, the girls were scattered to the wind with their own desires and crises to face. Zelda was decidedly mellow in comparison to some of her peers. Signaling the tender again, she called out. "Can I get uh shot'a well tequila? Amber?" She drawled a little but he understood her fine. Pouring into a cylindrical shot glass, he garnished it with a lime and handed it over. She returned five bucks. The salt was unnecessary; she gritted her teeth and knocked it back, swallowing and sinking her teeth into the lime slice. Last one 'fore I gotta think of a reason fr'drunk testing Terbear. Apparently her moral compass was drunk too. Fuggin... Pomegranate margs... She tugged her denim jacket off the barstool below and started walking slowly and clumsily towards the door.

Zelda gave the doorman an obliging nod (as if overcompensating for how totally disoriented she felt) and sucked in the fresh night air. It was an antidote in her lungs, cleansing the hot alcohol and secondhand smoke from within. Z giggled to herself, stumbling a couple of strides as she spotted a patch of blonde hair down the sidewalk a bit. "Teeeeerrr?" She called, cupping her mouth with both hands. "Issat you?" She queried with a snort. Ladylike as ever, Zelda spat on the pavement, her mouth tasting of citrus. It'd be fine. Everything'd be fine. After all, she felt just damn fine.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to be in bed by ten, changed in to some pajama bottoms with birds and tress on them and a comfortable cotton white shirt that wouldn’t suffocate him in the middle of the night, and tucked in to bed with only a bedside lamp for light and a good book in his hands. The night life never really called to him like it did some of his friends, in fact, he first taste of alcohol he had was very quickly his last… and the whole idea of overly loud music and body grinding dancing did not appeal to him. He had been a man of simple pleasures, good books and hot tea, hiking before sunset, a picnic in the park at sunset just because the weather was nice… he didn’t like the bar scene at all. And being that his job had him up sometimes pretty early, it made sense to be in bed earlier than the rest of the city. So when his phone buzzed with sudden life, the light flashing on to reveal the message, it wasn’t so odd for him to feel the sudden burst of adrenaline that came from the sudden fright.

It was Z, her picture on the screen along with a few messages coming in tandem. At first he grabbed the phone without a second thought, glad that their contact lately hadn’t been as paring as it had been in the past. But then the time flashed and the words he read a second time stuck out and he couldn’t help but wonder why she was contacting him so late. While not unusual to text her, it was unusual for her to be texting him so late, even though ten was hardly late. A few key strokes and messages later and the reason was blaringly obvious, and had him with little thought getting out of bed and changing. She was drunk… and more so… it sounded like she needed a friend. And he was glad to be one for her, glad he could be there and that she wanted him to be that friend. He couldn’t drive her home or anything, and he doubted she would be too keen on riding his bike with him, but a good shoulder to lean on would be good enough.

It was a bit of a walk to the bar she was at from Haven Hill, but it wasn’t like the walk was unexpected. While much preferring to fly, the sparrowman took the opportunity to relish in the fresh air, and take the time to collect his thoughts that had otherwise been scrambled so completely. He had thought he was okay, that he had swallowed the information Lina gave him like a horse pill. But it crept up on him all the time when he least expected it. He still hadn’t really spoken to the girl since… taking a few days to digest what she had told him, and it was unnerving to know that he didn’t feel upset about it. Things had finally been good between them, finally felt normal! And the rug was ripped out from beneath him. He knew that Z was in no position to help him like she had after their talk in the library, and Clarion no he would never reveal this need to her when she so clearly needed him more, but this outing gave him the chance to try and at least rationalize it… gave him time to try and accept it rather than flee from it or feel angry or scared. And maybe when her head was cleared… maybe when she wasn’t hung over… he could go back to her. She was his best friend, and just like he was coming to make sure she as safe and taken care of… he knew he could depend on her for some solid advise.

The night air was cool as he absently texted her back, most of her responses nonsense and misspelled, Terence just trying to make sure she didn’t leave without him and of course that she wasn’t hurt or passed out. Wrapped warmly in his worn brown leather jacket and his knit acorn cap well-used and loved atop his head, he was thankful that the weather hadn’t yet turned bitter. He was a warm fairy, he thrived in the spring, summer, and fall. But the winter was different… it was painful to be comfortable then… and this outing would have been more dangerous for him had the weather been different.

Hearing the slur of his name he looked up, looking quickly to the neon lights of the bar just to make sure he had the right place. Smiling as he saw the familiar face of his friend he nodded, jobbing the rest of the short distance to her, a bright smile on his face. He couldn’t hide the concern in his blue eyes for her, but he doubted she would notice with as much alcohol was in her system. Luckily the bar scene wasn’t close from campus—or so he figured when he got his directions from the computer—so it wouldn’t be too much longer until she was safely in her dorm. But regardless he wanted to make sure she was safe and comfortable before leaving. “Told you I’d come and walk you home.” he smiled, wrapping a friendly arm around her shoulder, giving her his body to lean on for support. “What’re you doing out here? I told you I’d come in an get you…” he raised a brow as he waited for her to situate herself and prepare to leave, only motioning his head in silent question if he was headed the right way to her dorm. “C’mon ladybug, lets get you home.” Terence smiled and squeezed her shoulder gently, relieved that she was safe and that someone hadn’t come around to take advantage of her.

Familiar features materializing with growing proximity, the student's apprehensions about being alone and drunk in a city melted. This was her Terence, her dust-keeping partner 'till the end. And even past that. No matter how complicated and uncomfortable the feelings between them, she immediately felt safe. He was her rock from day one, and regardless how much the scientist labored to create space between them, she couldn't deny his impact on her life. In several aspects, Zarina died after the darkness descended. Zelda had grown into her own person in this new world, no longer a fairy but a regular human following the regular trajectory of intelligent young adults. The transition was not seamless, even if she acted as though she had everything well in hand. Like it or not, she was a survivor. She was not a quitter. Same as any species, the girl adapted instead of dying. Those tactics she relied upon as Zarina the dust-keeping troublemaker no longer applied. And yet the old adage rang true; old habits die hard. Sober Zelda held utter terror for the truth she preferred to deny. Terence would always hold sway over a significant chunk of her heart.

Wasted Zelda, conversely, was overjoyed to see him. Her beaming, lazy guise was awash with a pearly-white smile, run-stumbling over to her obliging escort and half-collapsing on his chest with a laugh. "Heeeeeey," she mumbled into his shoulder, embracing him in a close hug. Boundaries? What were those? Faint vapors of honeyed tequila hissed from her breath. She sucked in the scent of his deodorant and laundry detergent, her muscles loosening in response. Her heart jogged up her neck. Instead of jerking away, the girl continued to chuckle and snort to herself as if an inside joke were repeating in her mind. Uninhibited, Z started to laugh loudly, drawing her nose back from the cotton of his shirt. Unable to breathe, she leaned on the arm he'd offered for support and turned her face away, continuing to giggle until her throat caught in a cough. Covering her mouth, her chest heaved as she expelled the last of her intoxicated amusement and cleared her esophagus.

Her legs started to move in tandem with his as he guided them towards her apartment. Z was thoroughly content with her decision to live in the city with a few other students. It was more expensive than the dorms in Berkeley to be certain, but the Pacific Heights neighborhood was fun and closer to downtown. And her not-so-legal employer. It gave her freedom to explore more than the sleepier community across the bay. "I jus' thought y'could fin' me easier ou'here," she explained, consonants slurred. "Thanks fer coming t'get meeeee," she said with a renewed, cheesy grin. She tilted her head to gaze at his handsome face as if he were a parent who'd indulged their mischievous child. "I din't mean t'make you," she added earnestly. Drunk texting was a thing. In her less-present state, the wild brunette hadn't considered Terence's Good Guy instincts might compel him to step in and assist. Or perhaps, deep down, she did, and selfishly wanted his company, even for only a twenty-minute walk back to her home.

The relaxed smile contorted into entertained suspicion as she stared down at her Doc Martens, focusing on walking a straight line. "Ladybug?" She repeated with emphasis. "'S 'at what I am?" She joked, smirking at her blonde counterpart. Loose and feeling playful, she hip-butted him gently with her star-spangled skirt. The sudden movement jerked her off balance a tad; she tugged her spine upwards, using her left leg to support her weight and prevent falling upon her would-be tackle-victim.

It was so odd to see this woman in this state of mind. Normally she was so well put together, her head on straight and not in the slightest bit intoxicated. He was used to playful and even mischievous. But this was a different side completely. The Zarina he knew, the Zarina he had loved and whose friendship he cherished, was not this girl in his arms, holding him close and tight and awkwardly long. This was someone new that he didn’t know, that he was just meeting for the first time. And while it was weird, in an oddly good sense of the word, he was glad that she felt comfortable enough to come to him in this state of mind.

Of course, the sparrowman did know that it likely wasn’t good judgment that had her texting him that evening, that the liquor was likely the culprit that made her make bad decisions. But as the blonde saw it, this wasn’t bad in the slightest. This was his best friend, and if she couldn’t text him so he could see her home safely… then who could she text? And surely, Terence would not feel comfortable knowing someone else was taking care of her and seeing her home, not knowing any of her other friends. Or worse, if she tried to take care of herself! Which in this state of mind, he doubted she’d be very capable of. It was good that she came to him, and even though he would tease her about it for months to come, he was happy to do it. That’s what friends were for. Being there for each other. And finally… they were getting back to their roots. It was beginning to feel like it had once upon a time…

Once upon a time before the darkness ruined everything. Once upon a time when life was normal and all he had to worry about was the dust and keeping Z from getting in trouble. Once upon a time before a fairy prince was suddenly back in the picture and threatening to ruin everything. Once upon a time before Lina…

The thought made his cheeks flush as his arms slowly released the girl that had been content to shove her face in his chest for a long moment, guilt flowing like blood through his veins. He shouldn’t think like that… should never even for a moment entertain the idea of what life would have been without her. Yes, his heart was breaking… threatening to shatter at the sheer thought of losing her… but it would hardly be better to have never known her. She was the light of his life, the apple of his eye, and every other cliché in the book about true love. Certainly he wouldn’t have been better off ignorant of the woman who meant the world and more to him. Of course… maybe he wouldn’t have been better off, but maybe she would have. Maybe she thought her life would have been better if she never met him, if the flame she held for her past love still burned brightly… if she didn’t have to feel the strain of picking between them? He didn’t know… and asking was entirely out of the question.

Feeling the woman pull away from the embrace and lean on to him, he cleared his throat, the dismal thoughts being banished in to the night. It would have been nice to talk to her, had had to admit there were plenty of unsent messages he had thought about before cancelling them in lieu of holing himself up at home just to try and figure it out himself. But this was neither the time nor place to seek opinions and thoughts, even to just tell her the bomb that had just exploded in his face just days before. This wasn’t something he should, even if she were sober, concern her with. And it scared him to know that he’d be alone in figuring it out. The weight was enormous on his shoulders… he had spent the days in his small home in Haven just trying to remind himself to breathe as he tried to sort through the information. But clarity… she was a cruel mistress that he had yet to find. And all he could do was hope that time would heal it just as it had before… kind of.

The cool night air was refreshing, certainly a nice change from the same four walls he had hid himself behind. So maybe it was a good thing he was drawn out, a good thing that he was meeting this wild creature of a best friend. It was a distraction. And for the first time in all those long nights, he felt happy. Happy to hear that stupid, silly, sweet giggle snort and the weird Slur of Z’s words. Happy to feel her weight on him as she followed his movements. He cracked a smile down at her and shook his head chuckling. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you texted.” Terence explained, his smile growing. “It’s given me a chance to meet your wild side.” he teased a bit playfully, careful to not overstep his bounds. Though he didn’t know the rules of handling and teasing drunks… those rules were a bit lost to him. “You didn’t make me do anything. I was happy to get out. Besides… what kind of fuddy-duddy is in bed at 10? Hmm?” This time he teased himself, a chuckle escaping.

Walking with Z was like walking with a child just learning to walk, but that child was and adult and didn’t know their own strength. The coordination was attempted but hardly there, and it was more of an event than a simple walk. Terence expected nothing less, the way she tried to keep straight but despite her concentration was as unbalanced as she appeared. So, when she hip bumped him, she likely didn’t realize how off balance it would make her. Hardly painful, Terence chuckled, trying desperately fast to adjust and help her catch her balance before she fell ungracefully and brought both of them to the pavement. “Whoa, be careful now.” he said quickly. The chuckle was quick to leave his lips as he lurched forward, his other arm coming out to try and steady her, stopping his forward movements and instead turning to face her completely, griping her and holding her up as best her could just to keep her from falling over. Concern was on his face as he watched her, letting her take as long as she needed to steady herself, before he smiled down at her with a teasing grin. “Maybe a ladybug has better balance than you.” he joked, quirking an eyebrow at her. “But yes… you’re my little ladybug. Do you have a problem with that?” he joked, clearing his throat quickly as soon as he realized the connotation and ulterior meaning of his statement. His cheeks flushed and he looked back to the street and away from her. “I just erm… I just mean that it’s a fun nickname is all.” he covered quickly, looking around to gather himself and recall where they were and how to get back to her apartment.

Being intoxicated boiled emotions down to the roots. Like a soothing scrub, alcohol possessed a peculiar ability to shear away layers of misdirected feelings, life stressors, and complexity. Whatever one felt while sober, they felt it universally while drunk. At least, this was Z's consistent experience with drinking. She liked it for the social aspect (an ever-reliable outlet to bond with friends) but she occasionally craved it as a personal inhibitor, a dampener of sorts. Zelda's mind was a hive of activity, seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day. It buzzed with possibilities, theorems, scheduling, budgeting, planning, and more, not to mention the emotional processing that either did (or, more often, didn't) incur lasting peace. Even while sleeping, her dreams were a collage of puzzles and problems that her conscious could never quite resolve before waking to the cool air of morning. On a normal day, it was bearable. Helpful, even. On a dreary day, it could become maddening. Sleep was an unreliable reprieve. Booze, on the other hand, did not disappoint.

Standing (to the best of her loose ability) next to a literally supportive Terence, Zelda felt pure joy. Her chest didn't tighten with the usual anxiety that gripped her whenever she saw him face-to-face. The routine of guilt, jealousy, and pain was absent. No tinge of bitterness colored her tongue. Riding high and unbothered, it seemed like Pixie Hollow again, just Zarina and Terence sharing a happy-go-lucky evening together. Absolved of her bothersome beckoning, the girl laughed anew, smile glistening in the dim street light. "Wild?" She repeated. The adjective entertained her heartily. He didn't know the half of it. "Lis'en, you ain't seen noffin' yet," she retorted. Even through the liquor, hazel eyes glimmered with her signature spark.

Flailing momentarily as their collective balance teetered, Z could only send out a light shriek of laughter. Inhibited, she could fall into oncoming traffic and it wouldn't deter her. The notion of stumbling down a sidewalk was basically a given. The student had an inkling that Ter wouldn't like the idea of his beloved Ladybug drunkenly roaming San Francisco to return to her apartment alone. The brunette had in fact done it several times, relying on luck and diminished capacity for observation. She'd mostly gotten lucky, living in a safer part of the city and dodging shady alleys. Her escort's presence diminished any apprehensions regarding Zelda's safety. His obliging guardianship allowed her to carry on with her personal party, and she was very much in a celebratory sort of mood. She was leaning on the arm of her favorite person, living her reality no matter how hard it could be. Apparently amber tequila could place a positive spin on anything, even a non-magical fairy refugee like her.

He caught hold of her arms and her upper torso turned to jello. For a moment their faces were close enough that she could feel the rush of his breath escaping. Her ears began to burn, vibrating as blood rushed to her head. Drunk Zelda reacted with predictability, laughing enthusiastically. Her face squinted in ecstasy, eyes watering as she howled hoots and hollers. If she were sober, the scientist couldn't have processed such intimate and continual physical contact with her long-term love interest. Yet this was, as he hinted, another 'side' of the dust-keeper fairy. She soaked up his attention and kindness like a sponge, not preoccupied with notions of what she did and didn't deserve to receive. She melted to the concrete, shaking with fits of incessant giggling, her legs sinking like taffy, gradual and soft. Her arms shifted free of Ter's grip until she was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, gazing up at him and finally catching her breath. Her limbs tingled numbly. "I like ladybugs," she agreed quietly, nodding. "D' Ter bears like ladybugs?" She asked, head tilting.

Zelda turned around, then the other way, as if she'd only now realized where she was seated. There was a stone ledge only a couple feet behind her, part of a longer wall that separated the streets from private property. Z pushed her arms against the concrete, wobbling vaguely on all fours as she propelled her butt up and against the barrier. "Af'er all, bears're awf-ly big." She huffed, the effort of coordination sucking up most of her lowered mental capacity. It didn't occur to Z to ask Terence for a hand up. "...An'...an' bugs're awf-ly small," she explained absently. Any subconscious meaning to this declaration was lost on the drunk as she sat, poised on the wall with improved equilibrium. Leaning her palms on her bare knees, Zelda caught her breath and blinked at her pal. "Y'better stop makin' me laugh," she warned, wagging a finger for comical emphasis. "R'else you'll never gemme home," she snorted with a smirk. They'd only come a few blocks from the bar, but her home was only about ten more blocks north. It took functional Zelda fifteen minutes to walk, so it would probably be closer to twenty-five for her intoxicated legs. Still, selfish Z was in no hurry. She relished the brief but precious chance to be with Terence without feeling that a vice was crushing her heart.

As difficult a journey as this one would be, the dust keeper fairy all sort of incapacitated, it was one he felt no burden toward. There were time sin life when you needed to take a step forward and be a good person, to do something you didn’t want because it was the right thing to do. Most people, or from what he had heard in passing conversations between college students at the library, picking up drunks from bars and seeing them home was a chore. It took time away from whatever you were doing, and for the most part they had no regard for the deed you were doing. After all, it was literally babysitting a giant kid who had the ability to both hurt you if you wanted or disappear in two seconds without another word. But Terence didn’t see this as a chore—not in the least. Was it his plan to leave the bed he was sitting in, to put his bookmark to save his spot and leave the trashy romance novel for a later time? No. But just because he hadn’t planned to be drunk texted didn’t mean he saw this event—and what and event it was—as a burden.

He got to be with his best friend, even if she was a sloshed mess who couldn’t stop laughing for two minutes. He got to be there for someone who had always been there for him when he needed it. And while there was no feeling like he owed it to her, he wanted to be the best friend he could for her. Maybe it was a bit of trouble getting dressed and preparing for the chill of the night air, and maybe some part of him really wanted to stay inside and wallow in his own drowning thoughts about whether or not his treasured relationship with his girlfriend would make it through the next couple of days, but it was good to get out. Good to stretch his metaphorical wings and be social. When she laughed… so did he. And when she was too busy trying to string more than three words together, he smiled… his heart lifting in his chest from the pits of despair. Her enthusiastic attitude, due mostly in part to the alcohol in her system, was contagious and it was impossible to not enjoy himself in her presence. It hadn’t been his plan to come out and see her safely home, but he was all the same, happy to be there, his smile warm and bright on his face—where had he been home, he might have instead been so fitfully attempting to sleep.

Looking down at the girl who had sunk in slow motion to the ground, the sparrowman wore a rather bemused, albeit certainly entertained, look. His eyebrow raised down at her and slowly his arms came to rest in a crossed position over her chest, unable to hide the sheer amusement he felt at this situation. Just moments ago, they had been so close—something that a younger, less wise version of himself would have surely only dreamt about, unable to fathom the idea of them possibly being more than friends despite the butterflies he once felt for her. So close that in the moments of trying to steady the woman who he’d claim was made of jello, their breath mixed and he could smell the tequila wafting toward him, the connection of their eyes oddly enough making his breath hitch. There had been a time, before the world he knew was turned to darkness, where he would have blushed and stumbled over his words for the fairy. A time when he wouldn’t have known what to do… other than hold on and not let go. But those times were gone, the spark between them a fond memory. Just moments ago they had been so close… and now she was a mess of laughter on the ground that he couldn’t keep from smiling at.

Watching as she tried to gather herself, a feat far more difficult in her state, he took a half step forward to try and help her get to the wall she wanted to lean on. However she seemed more intent on doing so herself, though it could also have been she hadn’t even noticed the hand he had outstretched to her, awkwardly recoiling to situated his cap before she could look back to him see the misstep. Her thoughts came out short and choppy, and the smile he wore on his face only grew as she questioned about Terbears… and whether or not they liked small ladybugs. In all honesty he had never been fond of being compared to a bear, considering how dangerous the animal was. But in understanding the connotation of being a teddy bear, he had grown more so to accept that people saw him as something good, and not something highly dangerous. Although there was no telling if she was done talking along that line of thought, the blonde chuckled, shaking his head had her.

“Terbears are very gentle creatures, you should know.” Terence said playfully, his voice gentle and thoughtful as he spoke to quell her concerns. He nodded, a silent form of reassurance as he took a step closer, watching for any sign that she might topple over or lose balance of herself. The last thing he wanted was for her to slide and fall and end up with scrapes or hit her head. As much as he was enjoying the social aspect of this unforeseen plan, he had come out to make sure the girl was safe. She might have done this thing before, and it horrified him to think of her stumbling around drunkenly without an escort to make sure she was safe and not taken advantage of, but tonight she had him there in her corner. And injuries on his watch, while plausible considering her current state of being, were unacceptable. “Its not common knowledge but they are very fond of ladybugs.” he continued to explain. “Terbears might be large, but that’s so they can protect their ladybug friends and make sure other beings don’t squish them. Make sure they get home safe and sound… so they can play in the forest together again.” he finished, a fond smile on his lips as he looked down at her. “So yeah, I’d say we like ladybugs.” he added, giving her as long as she needed to gather herself.

Although the wave of slight embarrassment hadn’t subsided, his cheeks still red from the misconception, he glad that it had gone completely over her head. Sober Zelda might have caught the dual meaning, misconstrued it for something else—but he was thankful in those moments that she wasn’t in her right mind. Glad that for the moment she would take his words for face value. Chuckling as she warned him not to make her laugh or else they would never get home, a bright smile curled to his lips. Maybe if he had thought his plan through, he would have realized it wasn’t as brilliant as he initially thought, but hindsight would always be twenty-twenty. Without missing a beat, as she wagged her finger at him, he closed the distance quickly between them. “Well how about I make it easier on you then,” he offered, leaning down and flashing her a warm smile. Looping an arm behind her back, his other arm moved to scoop her up from the wall she was leaning against for support. Holding on to her tightly, he lifted her with ease in to his arm, supporting her back and—albeit awkwardly—adjusting his other arm under her legs so she was being cradled. At least this way he would be sure she didn’t get hurt or stumble in to traffic. “Better? Now you can laugh all you want.” he teased, playfully sticking his tongue out at her in a joking fashion. Hindsight would forever be… twenty-twenty.

Motor and brain functioning thoroughly dampened, the student was only processing about half of Terence's answer. She was getting the gist of it well enough, his voice was calm and reassuring. She heard 'protect', 'safe'. Zelda smiled toothlessly up at him, swaying a bit on her seat. Her boots bounced against the wall gently as if she was little more than a restless child. Some piece of Z's mind recalled feeling unsettled while waiting for him to arrive, but she didn't remember what had worried her so. Ambling back to her house from the bar had never been so enjoyable. Terence's company was a treasure. Gazing back up at his gentle blue stare, she couldn't understand why it was so hard for her to acknowledge that all the time. Too drunk to feel the usual two-edged sting of her unrequited affection, Zelda beamed enthusiastically. Wasted, giddy, and laughing, the girl had no problem whatsoever with being the ladybug to her escort's Terbear as he'd painted it.

Just as she recovered from gasping and began her mock-scolding in earnest, he stepped closer. Her feet ceased their shaking. Her spine straightened. Feeling loose, she continued to observe with bemused curiosity. She released a breath and parted her lips as if to continue expressing her disapproval with his ability to make her happy; it rang far less coherent than the flawless logic she meant to cite. Yet as she sucked in a fresh gulp of air, she found herself stopped speechless. Muscles pliable, Zelda followed along dumbly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Heartbeat quickening, her anticipation stretched seconds interminably. "Whu-" She managed to blurt, her body sliding off the ledge and into his arms. "Eeeeee! Heeheeheee!" A shriek was all she could muster in response, no doubt ringing acutely in Terence's ears given their proximity. Her chest was weightless as if the young woman had levitated out of herself. Her heartbeat was thumping; pulsing all the way through her fingertips. She was being hoisted off like a sleeping child by the only person she'd ever loved.

Her mouth was frozen in an all-encompassing smile, her laughter ringing jovial and renewed. She couldn't process the litany of emotions accompanying his intimate embrace. She, the articulate scientist, couldn't manage words. Laughter bubbled out in streaks, just as he noted her newfound freedom to crack herself up without consequence. She snorted anew as he stuck out his tongue, ribcage shaking with mirth. Committing to suppressing her giggles, Zelda wondered how the heart (nothing more than a muscle, albeit a vital one) could grow so wide and all-encompassing. Utterly swamped with joie de vivre, Z's body had melted away. She could sense nothing other than the lightness of her soul, the heat now flowing from her chest into the fabric of Terence's shirt. Calmed, she let out an audible sigh and gazed up at the strong gentleman carting her down the street. The dirty concrete had transformed into a glittering silver line; she saw only the shimmer of reflected light below his shoes.

Fantasy cut by an unexpected pang (though of what she could not be certain), Zelda sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding herself securely against him. Her fingers laced together at his nape, her head pressing into his collarbone. Z's eyelids lolled, her breath steadying. The tip of her nose poked into Ter's bare skin, and she hummed happily. Locked in his hold, nothing else mattered. Terence could accomplish anything. Maybe he'd carry her all the way back to her house in Pixie Hollow, and in the morning she'd awake to see her dust keeper uniform staring back at her from the closet. She'd remember this as a surreal dream, a blip in her subconscious, as she'd pull on her shoes and run off to her shift at the mill. She'd find Terence and tell him all about it, using wild arm gestures to emphasize the vision. He'd entertain her enthusiasm as he always did, and then Zarina would ask him to take a walk with her after work, down by the stream, and she'd say it, she would finally tell him after all those seasons together, she'd say it out loud: y'know, Terence, I think I love you.

Hazel eyes snapping open, Z looked around and remembered where (and who) she was. She released her hands from Ter's neck and squirmed. "Terrrrrr..." She whined, trying to pry her bare thighs from his capable grip. "'M too heffy!!" Zelda was not, in fact, fairy-sized. Self-conscious and guilty, Z's drunken motions came out more abrupt than she intended. Flailing as she destabilized his grasp, the girl practically jumped out, landing back on the sidewalk precariously. Stumbling as she landed, Zelda grasped Ter's shoulder to prevent falling. Unimpressed with her clumsy recovery, her head turned towards him. "Y'can't carry me tha'far," she chided him anew. Huffing, her eyes gleamed with sudden determination. "I promise'll get there wiff my own leggies," she vowed, crossing her heart emphatically. "'S long as you hold on t'me?" The strong woman's expression betrayed her youth and vulnerability, an uncommon glimpse at the tired, itty-bitty pixie who'd lost her home and craved support to lean against. She extended a jacketed arm, peering straight at him. Independence and reliance commingling, the drunk collegiate was a whirlwind of feelings and contradictions. All she knew to latch onto was the promise of security and stability within her best friend.

For a moment things were silent between them, only the roar of the city and the sounds of nature surrounding them as he continued the trek to her apartment. It seemed so easy, so perfect in those few moments as he continued, holding the woman close to his chest and supporting her weight, that it possibly couldn’t be wrong. He was just a friend helping out another friend… someone who wanted nothing more than to see her safely home and tucked in her bed. But if it all was as innocent… so pure as he thought… why did he need to explain to himself his actions. Why did he feel the need to reassure himself of the innocence of what he was doing? If it was the right thing to do… why did it feel so wrong? Why was the knot of guilt forming in his stomach… or the unsettling feeling that he was doing something wrong start clawing at his mind?

This is the sort of thing good friends did. The protected each other and helped them when and wherever they could. It wasn’t anything more than that. It wasn’t like he was doing something wrong, that he was coming on to her or anything and trying to flirt. It was harmless and innocently sweet. She was having a difficult time getting to her feet and she needed to get home—preferably before the sun rose—so it made sense for him to carry her. This way she was safe… this way he knew that she wasn’t going to get hurt. There was nothing more to it than that. Just a friend… helping another friend. But he couldn’t shake it… could rid himself of the feeling that something felt nice about this. That something about this moment might have been… at another point in time or in a whole different place… right.

A soft smile curled to his lips as he looked down at the woman who seemed all to content in his arms, her body held close to his chest and her head easily nestled in to his neck making a blush burn hot on his cheeks. They weren’t together… and he knew that to be true. His heart loved another woman… yearned to be with her even when they were apart… even when they were fighting. So much of him was dedicated to her, wanting only to love her and have that same adoration and affection returned. He was prepared to give everything up for her… even his life as a sparrowman! He was ready to marry her… to make her his one and only love for the rest of his life, however long or short it might be. But if that were all true… would he be out here on the street, cradling another woman to his chest… wondering as he looked down at her, how things might have been different if things hadn’t ended up the way they had?

Terence knew resolutely that the love he felt for Zarina was unquestionably and strictly friendship. The ship sailed on their relationship years ago when he found himself alone in this world… his friends gone and the darkness killing everything he cared for. The ship sank when he thought she was dead… and he found love in someone else’s voice… calling out in the darkness for help. He knew he loved Lina from the day he met her, saving her from danger on the back of his bird. And it hadn’t wavered since. He knew for a fact that the candle he had held for Zarina had burned out. But here it was, smoldering, stoked back to life only by the feeling of betrayal he felt from the woman he loved… the feeling of eminent fear that loomed over him that he would lose her to a prince who he had only just learned had been back in the picture for some time now… a prince who he had unknowingly become friends with… He was so sure of himself and where he stood. Yet, walking with her in his arms… he had never felt more unsure of anything in his life.

The guilt was almost too much to bear, the weight on his chest growing with each step he took back to Zelda’s place. He loved Lina… he should have been with her. He should be the one holding her and smiling as she rested against him. He should be looking down at her, wondering what adventures they would take in life… relishing in the way she felt held so tightly against him. It was Lina who he should thinking about, Lina who should receive the soft forehead kiss he had wanted to give since she had nestled so close, her breath warm on his neck. But the pain of knowing she had lied to him for so long about Cornelius… That she had known he was back and that she had spoken with him… broke his heart. Had that been the beginning of the end? Was this how it was going to be? Was she going to string him along until she inevitably chose the prince who had swept her off her feet? With his worst fears were coming in to realization… it was easy to get lost in this warmth that settled in his chest. It was the first time in those few days since that conversation he even felt a genuine smile on his face. But this wasn’t the person he was. Terence was better than that… better than this.

Her sudden movements broke him from his inner turmoil and he felt his grip faltering. It was all he could do, to let her go, and hope by the second star she somehow kept her balance. The loss of warmth was a rude awakening, missed as the cold emptiness in his chest returned. His hands moved out quickly to steady her, but it seemed that after a few moments she was alright on her own two feet. A breath of relief left his lips, his head hanging low for a moment as he summoned back the smile that had vanished in his panic. It felt weird and out of place on his face, but he doubted in this state that she would notice.

“You’re hardly heavy Z… I could carry you.” he tried to explain, but when she continued on in her explanation he couldn’t help but softly chuckle. Seeing her inebriated was certainly a site he never thought would happen. Then again, before the darkness it wasn’t even something on his radar. At the hollow they didn’t have something anywhere near alcohol to get them to this state… so he didn’t even know TO expect it. Regardless, this was a once in a lifetime moment, and even as angry and upset as he was… sometimes it was okay to laugh. She was his friend… she didn’t know it… but she was helping. Sighing, taking a small breath, the sparrowman nodded. “Whatever you want Z,” he sighed, moving to her open arms, and stood beside her. An arm snaked around her back and his hand gripped her waist gently, pulling her close to support her weight as best he could. “I’ll always be here for you.” Even as he said it he felt the guilt weigh down on him… a truly unshakable feeling.

Impaired as she was, Z was not wholly departed from the fuzzy world surrounding her. At least, not yet. Four-year college taught matriculants to handle drinking, regardless of whether they wished to or not. Blurry memories akin to emotional sensations washed over her: stumbling around an over-crowded frat house, separated from the safety of her female flock; waking up on the edge of a toilet seat, the bathroom unknown to her; various hands plastering her thighs and stomach as she stared down the spigot of a keg tap, voices yelling, egging her to chug, chug, chug. There were darker recollections too, but nothing so terrible as the other stories she’d heard. Going out on campus was safer, and Z’s roommates often made the commute together to party with their classmates. San Francisco itself was a different beast, but their laziness would triumph on some Friday evenings after a long day of classes. Zelda knew enough not to tread into the deep waters of blackout drunkenness outside of the Berkeley bubble. She was three sheets to the wind, that was irrefutable. Even so, the girl could still walk. That was evidence of adequate functional capacity (however precarious).

Hot and brief on her shoulder, Z felt the tingle of his sigh before she realized what it was. She instinctively interpreted it as exasperation. Of course he would grow impatient with her slow-moving antics. Her face dropped as she used his weight to steady herself, legs finding their place underneath her. “Aw Terrrrrrrrr,” she whined softly, drawing out his name in an imploring ululation. “‘M sorryyyyy.” She huffed, visibly frustrated with herself. Blowing upwards, flyaways whooshed up past her forehead. “I shouldn’t’ve texted, I know ‘m a pain,” she admitted, taking hold of his side even as she apologized. He was here now anyway, might as well. She found her skull lolling against his arm as he pulled her closer.

‘...Always be here for you.’

Her head spun anew, twinkling rivers of glee and repressed love winding their way through her crown. Her grip inadvertently tightened around his bicep. The brunette inched her footfalls nearer, her hips brushing his in tempo. Her motions shifted her oversized denim jacket around her tight skirt. The tips of his fingers brushed her exposed midriff and Z swallowed a pulsing esophagus.

“Really?” She said. Her tone was distant but bemused, like her mind was considering something else entirely. Green stare flashing devilishly in the streetlight, Zelda stopped their collective stride short, mid-step. (She surprised herself by keeping an upright, stiff balance while doing so). “Then lemme tell you a secret,” she tempted, boisterous volume lowering. The scientist faced Terence and went up on the toes of her boots to put her lips close to his ear. When she could feel the heat from his head radiating back at her, the playful drunk dipped her mouth to his jugular and began to blow raspberries. Her chapstick pressed into his skin along with a bit of slobber, the force of her exhale rippling ticklish vibrations across his flesh. Determined though she was to make the too-serious man writhe and collapse into giggles, she couldn’t contain her own delight. Zelda’s concentration cracked into hearty laughter less than half a minute later. She reeled away from his neck and continued to bark out yet another set of chortles.

She wiped the corner of her smoky eye, miraculously conscientious enough not to smudge. Tears staining her sleeves, the happy-go-lucky drunk’s cheeks were flushed. A musical sigh carried off the last of her breath. “Doessat make y’feel any better?” She asked pointedly without any pretense. Z was studying him with as much scrutiny as a drunk girl could muster, eyes laboriously lingering on his brow and lips, scanning for the vaguest glimmer of lingering malaise. Maybe she was simply giddy from tequila by comparison, but the dust keeper knew her own well enough to sense (even through all the booze) that something with her fairy friend was particularly blue. And that wasn’t right at all. They weren’t water fairies; cooler hues just didn’t cut it.

It never ceased to amaze him how easy it was to forget… or rather push back… his troubles. How just a few minutes with her brought a smile back to his face that he thought would never feel delight again. Though of course the notion of never smiling or feeling happiness was a rather dramatic one, something hardly akin to dust keepers and Terence’s alike, he had felt for not the first time in his life… that everything was slipping through his fingers. He had thought he had known heart break… had thought he at least understood the tightening in his chest when just the mere thought that he might never hear the familiar, beautiful laugh again came to mind. He had thought he knew the fear of losing her and never seeing that smile brighten when she saw his face after a hard day. He had thought he knew. But he didn’t… and he hadn’t been prepared at all for the flood of emotions he felt. Anger… sadness… betrayal… confusion… regret and doubt… all toiling in his gut and wrenching him so entirely. Yet… moments, wibbly-wobbly as they were, in the form of his best friend, made it seem like maybe they weren’t so bad.

Or maybe… this was how it was supposed to feel? The confusing thought rippled through his mind as he raised a single brow at the girl, her confession of how she shouldn’t have texted him quickly being soothed by a waving hand and quiet chorus of ‘no no no no no…’. He hated himself for thinking, even for a moment that his heart belonged to someone else. But while he knew deep, deep, deep down… that he loved Lina and only Lina, that she was his soulmate and nothing would sway him from or make him even doubt for a second his devotion… there was once a time when loved another. Maybe he didn’t know it back then… in fact he was sure he had no idea what the fluttering feeling in his chest had been all those days… but there was a point when he loved her. When he loved Zarina. That time was gone, and the sun had set on anything that could have been… those feelings, fond as they were to his memory didn’t exist anymore save in the form of friendship. But they had existed… and denying that he just couldn’t do.

Was it fair for him to expect Lina to forget her first love when he himself clutched so tightly to his? Admittedly she was drunk and needed him, but even still… the idea of losing her tore him apart almost as much as losing Lina did. So, did that make him a hypocrite? Expecting her to never acknowledge Cornelius when he himself couldn’t let go of her? Admittedly their stories were different… the way things ended were different. He had never had the chance to tell her how he felt… had hidden his unnamed feelings behind good intentions and a bright smile everyday, and Lina and Cornelius had gotten engaged! But was it so different? No…

And yes. His torn mind forced the argument. He had never hidden Zarina from her, had been open from the beginning. Maybe he had never told Lina what he had felt, likely due to the fact he had only put the pieces together just recently himself, but there was never any lies or deceit with her. He loved her, and only her and he knew that. She, however, had hidden the ring, had locked it away like a dirty secret and didn’t tell him… and then did the same with him when he came back. She hadn’t told him. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt this way, so put off, so fearful, so drawn to the woman beside him… if for a moment Lina had trusted him and just came out and told him. How was he supposed to feel now… months later? How long had they been talking behind his back? Reconnecting when he wasn’t looking? How long had Cornelius been stoking that fire… just waiting to find a time swoop in and take back the woman he had gotten lost trying to save?

So much had weighed so heavily on his mind for too long… and in minutes… it felt like it had vanished. He knew that the moment he got her home and tucked her in to bed that the walk home would be torturous. The cool wind that felt refreshing on his bright red cheeks would turn bitter and chill him to the bone. The laughter that burst from his lips as ticklish waves washed over him would dissipated in to nothing more than hallowing echoes. The brightness in his eyes, the life he had felt so drained of… would leave him once again… and he would be nothing more than a conflicted hollow shell on the street just trying to get home to the empty warmth of his bed in Haven… half a mind to stop at Lina’s distraught and angry, but knowing it better than to let such an idea take firm hold and rattle was little foundation the two of them had left. Terence knew that as soon as Zarina was safe and sound… that he would go back to wallowing… But at least for this brief moment it felt like that was miles away.

His free hand lifted as she pulled her lips away from the hot skin on his neck, the brightness in his cheeks from laughing much like the drunk latched to his side dissipating to quiet chuckles, wiping off the spittle and chap stick she left behind. The haunting feeling of her lips, for that brief moment before she blew raspberries on his skin, lingered… Terence fixed her with a mock stern look, an eyebrow raised clearly in her direction. Though, be it form his own amusement or the infectious, melodious, rip of laughter that came from her he couldn’t remain serious. Though her question caught him off guard, the shock clearly on his face—such a stark difference from those moments before. He stumbled in his movements, stopping and peering down at her, his grip on her waist loosening for a moment before tightening… fingers gripping her and pulling her close again.

“Yeah Z, I’m fine,” he lied, shaking his head as if trying to distract her. Had he looked like he needed cheering up? Had he looked like something had been wrong? He had thought he had put on a good face for her, that she had enough alcohol in her system to not see through him. Though it appears his efforts were in vain. He tried to get the smile to return, though only half of it found his lips. He nodded his head, this time with more assurance. “Yes.” he admitted softly, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. “You always know how to cheer me up.” he offered, pulling back, the same half smile curled to his mouth. “But don’t worry about me, let’s get you home. Okay?” he offered genuinely, summoning a breath and finishing the smile. The apples of his cheeks were still pink, though from shock, amusement, or embarrassment he couldn’t tell. “Or else,” he added on, his tone more teasing as he tried to quickly correct the situation. He wasn’t so good with games… or lying for that matter, but his heart was in the right place and he didn’t want to bring her down. She was so happy… and her being happy made him happy. There would be time later that night for distress and sadness, but now wasn’t that time. “Or else the boogie man is gonna get you!” and he squeezed her side quickly for ticklish emphasis, unable to keep the smile from slowly growing.

Each time he drew her close, tightening his physical hold around the girl, she melted. Sometimes the scientist couldn't help but marvel over the chemistry inside human bodies. Oxytocin flooded through her chest in waves like an anesthetic. Her core warmed and softened, the deep muscles of her being unwinding in Terence's grasp. It's an instinctive response to safety, the logician within her insisted. You've known Ter longer'n anyone. He's your home. And the same thing would happen with Tink.

Yet her sentimental counterpart resisted. Would it, really? Blurry though he was through impaired vision, the sparrowman was perfect to her. She admired her fellow dust-keeper like no other. Not even Fairy Gary could compare to how heavily she relied upon Terence's approval and support. Sure, she held the capacity to easily write off the hormonal reactions inside her cells. Emotional labels, on the other hand, slipped through her fingers like sand. Was there a noun or adjective to singularly identify the powerful bond between them? Not in any American vocabulary that the biochem student had encountered in her years of immersion. Her uncertainty contributed substantially to the roiling insecurity and fear lurking beneath their pleasant evening stroll. Zarina found her thoughts wandering as their chuckling petered out, wishing she knew what Queen Clarion would say about this mess. Though Z held less respect for monarchs in her newfound democratic American role, Clarion had always possessed wisdom and clarity in the face of challenging dilemmas. What she wouldn't give for someone else's perspective, someone who knew the pair well.... assuming the alchemist would muster enough courage to ask.

Thankfully, Ter's voice pulled the lush from her spiraling course of deduction. Her wrinkling face slackened as he assuaged any suspicions of distress. "Mmm," she hummed happily when he smooched her forehead. The brush of his lips sent blood rushing to her skull (and other places too shameful for her to name). Zelda's fingers dug deeper into Ter's biceps to steady herself against the pull of discombobulation. Eyelids fluttering back open, Z clumsily waved strands of chestnut hair back from where they blocked her green stare. The tinge of pink in his cheeks gave the drunk pause, momentarily confused. It didn't feel too cold outside, but apparently the autumn midnight affected the blonde. Zelda wasn't capable of considering the possibility that emotional influences had summoned the colorful reaction. Without missing a beat, the girl shed her oversized punk jacket. Her bronzed shoulders reflected a lighter shade of white gold under the artificial streetlight's diameter. The fairy didn't look away as she shifted the denim to a single elbow. Then, in a swooping throw and tug, the collegiate draped the extra layer of stiff fabric across Ter's shoulders. "Better?" She posited, holding on by the garment's collar. Her stance betrayed the intimacy between them, effortless and ill-advised.

"Yer good, Ter--" Her compliment, though demurred in tone, cut to an encore of shrieks, her body writhing in response to his mischievous prodding. The scientist was ticklish as a damn toddler, exponentially more so while drunk. Crop top near defenseless against a midriff-aimed assault, Z darted out of reach, sides heaving with effort. Her mouth gaped in a maniacal grin, coughing and laughing as she glared back blithely. He possessed the advantage: two hands, good aim, and knowledge of her weaknesses trampled her meager defenses effortlessly. Slower and unprepared, he gained purchase on her stomach a second time. Screeching uninhibited, Zelda spun in place and snorted at his boogieman warning. "Nu..... nu..... nu uh!" She blurted at last, skidding from side-to-side as she dodged (and succumbed) to Terence's deft hands. In their revelry, Z glimpsed a green sign above their heads. Only two blocks left! The duo was nearly back to the converted house where the science student hung her hat. A spontaneous plan wormed its way into Zelda's cognition. Crouching and lowering her midsection protectively, she bellowed fiendishly. "He'll ne'er take me alive!" The proclamation came with an impromptu fist to the sky, hazy eyes shining with surety.

"Las'one there's boogie food!" The brunette had already propelled herself past Terence as she hollered the challenge. Though it wasn't entirely responsible to run full-speed uphill while wasted, the fiery scientist never dodged her joie de vivre. Inspired and fueled by adrenaline, she bolted towards the next intersection. Doc Martens weren't running shoes, and drunk Zelda had no chance against sober Terence, but the competitor within pinpointed any opportunity to play. She let out a prolonged whoop of merriment. Concrete and wooden shingles flew past her in a wash as her legs settled into auto-pilot. Half-exposed, the whoosh of cool air felt stabilizing against her hot stomach, arms, and thighs. Still grinning like a drunken fool, her muscles pumped harder than she expected (in this dampened state). Huffing, her brows knitted, glancing to her side expectantly. It was only a matter of seconds before the characteristic blonde mop would resurface astride her, but the house was now in sight as she rounded a sharp left.

"Ha!" She shouted, stopping and panting at the stoop. Z hadn't been able to discern the victor in the moment, but she was plainly proud of her sprint. Fresh blood pumped through her extremities in violent, loud beats. Catching her breath, Z managed, "betcha....din't think.... I had it 'n me..... huh?" Her smirk divulged the kinder sentiment behind the impromptu race, enthused to've engaged in some lighthearted play with her oldest and dearest companion.

She was a handful… that much was for sure, but that was hardly a change from the pixie he had known back at home. She was always up to no good back at the hollow, always getting her nose in to trouble and not really thinking much of it. There were always whispers about how a dust keeper fairy could possibly always be out of dust, but it never distressed her (at least from what he could tell) and never deterred her either. She was always so inquisitive, much more than he ever was, about the dust and what made it so powerful. That was what made her such a good fairy, one that he too wanted to learn from despite being the one most others went to save for Gary. She was the one who questioned everything, and he knew she would be the one, one day, to figure out a better solution to their dust or at least learn better how to refresh the tree or something. But like most geniuses there was madness in her that most times couldn’t be quelled… and that could lead to trouble. It was part of her appeal, part of what made her who she was, and Terence wouldn’t change anything about her.

Tonight… felt just like old times. Times when she would be so enthralled in her work and not think about the repercussions. Times when he would come over to her place after work to hang out and find her stooped over her work bench so wrapped up in whatever it was she was doing. Though this was different… she was human now, just like him, and certainly not stooped over anything. This time was like all those times things had gone awry and he had either been there to witness or help it on, accidentally of course, or come to help pick up the pieces which he was happy to do, just as he was happy to come out and get her. It felt good to be out, to be with her, to feel like things used to be and for once not pressured to keep her at arm’s length. Sure, there was a slight awkwardness at holding her so close, the guilt he felt about it in regard to his relationship with Lina rather strong. But he knew deep down that whatever feelings there once were, whatever he felt those years ago, was gone. All he wanted was to have that friendship again, without all those complications, and this night felt like the beginning of it all. This is what friends did. She trusted him to come, she reached out to him, and it gave him hope that one relationship in his life might go back to normal—and just in time for the rough waters ahead in his other. When she was sober, he would be sure to thank her… tell her how much he missed the way things used to be and how happy he was for them to be going back to normal. But for now, he would just enjoy it.

Confusion took over his face when she started to shed her jacket, moving in such a way that demanded another blush from him, draping it over his shoulders. Most trains of thought she had gone on that night he understood, but this… was not one he had seen coming. While oversized on her, hardly fit across his broad shoulders, and he couldn’t help the confusion. His cheeks were bright red, the way she held herself as she threw the coat around him more intimate than it should have been, his eyes finding hers in moment, time almost freezing around them. He felt his heartbeat quicken, blood rushing through his veins in a wave of adrenaline. Had things been different between, though if they were he doubted they’d even be in this position, he would have taken this moment to claim her lips in a kiss… his eyes not leaving hers as she clung on to the collar of the jacket. Had things been different he would have found the courage he needed so long ago to finally tell her how he felt. But that was just it… those feelings were gone now. Sure, he felt the heat in his cheeks and he knew what this moment was, but the desire to shift his weight and claim her lips wasn’t there. That was how he knew he loved Lina with all his heart, no matter what the circumstances. If he wanted to he could have the love he thought he had lost in Lina to a dumb fairy prince… he could have it easily. But he didn’t want it, he only wanted Lina. And never could he blame Zelda for the position they were in… she didn’t know what she was doing. She was too far gone to understand that this moment could potentially be dangerous. In the morning she would never remember… and this would just be a silly story he told her when she was in better spirits. A story they could look back on years later now that they could be closer, and just laugh.

He needed to find a way out though, and he was thankful for his idea to tickle her. Her outburst of laughter at his motions made him chuckle, only prodding her more to elicit them and taunt her playfully, pulling them away from the otherwise compromising position they had been in. Sure, it wasn’t wise for him to do that so much with someone who was drunk, but at the same time she was practically asking for it. Who was he to deny her? His smile was wide as the blush faded, his thoughts and worries pushed to the back of his mind in lieu of this new and exciting moment, thankful that she released the collar. Though, had he known this would be the moment she decided to make a run for it, he wouldn’t have done it. His heartbeat quickened in fear as she proclaimed her challenge, leaving the safety of his grip in lieu of running off in to the night.

Blue eyes widened as he watched her form retreat away from him, her giggles echoing as she took off full-speed ahead for her home. He shook his head, watching her form shrink until it finally kicked in that he needed to run. It took no time for his long legs to catch up with her, his breath shallow only from shock and fear that she would hurt herself as he kept pace with her. Not one to stop her, he was careful though to make sure she wasn’t going to hurt herself, just a half step behind in case he needed to catch her were she to fall. All the same, he felt no comfort in that moment, only worry as she continued to focus on her sprint home. She should have let him carry her… but she was too stubborn for her own good to allow such a thing. It was only when she bound up her stood, her cheeks red and her breath ragged that the blonde let himself slow down. If he wanted he could have easily overcome the drunk woman and stolen the win—but it wasn’t worth it if she could have gotten hurt. She would brag and taunt him, and it would be okay because she was home now, and safe.

Flashing her a smile, his cheeks red from the sudden and unexpected sprint, he nodded his head. “You are just full of surprises tonight Z,” he offered her, laughing jovially. “I’ve GOT to stop underestimating you…” he chuckled, the jacket that had been swung over his shoulders having slipped off in the run and was draped in to the crook of his arm now. Summoning a deep breath, he smiled, looking up at her from the bottom of the porch stairs. Shrugging his shoulders he chuckled, “Looks like I’m boogie food tonight.” Just glad to see her home safe, relief flooded his body. Many things could have gone wrong that night, especially in those last few minutes, but they hadn’t and by the second star was he grateful. Now all he had to do was get her upstairs and tucked in to bed safe and sound.

Though the night swept by her flushed face in blurs of navy sky and grey buildings, the young woman swore she’d never felt such clarity since her ingress. Memories of her revelry at the bar were fading fast under a thick blanket of liquor and ecstasy. She was with her family again. All was well. This was where she belonged. Never mind that she was a refugee displaced. Never mind that she was not whole without her dust and wings. Those sacrifices hardly demanded a lofty price, compared to the company of her fellow fairies. It didn’t matter if magic was gone - truly and utterly decimated - as long as Terence was by her side, his smile and voice coaxing her from despair.

Running came smooth, natural as flying. Limbs loose and anesthetized, she soared forward without hesitation. Buzzing ambition propelled her pace onward. The girl was competitive to a fault. Reflective capacities silenced, adrenaline spiked her elation, conjuring happiness. Alcohol had its ups and downs, but it was a potent salve for worriers. Get inebriated enough and anyone could live wholly in the present. It stoppered the flow of regrets and anxieties, placing the drinker in their immediate selves.

Sprinting down her street, Zelda instantly recognized the familiar orange glow next to her front door. No matter how sloshed, she could always find that old-fashioned beacon. Finish line in sight, her legs pushed harder. Blood rushed to her head, dizzying her sense of direction. Ten feet from her goal, Z stumbled and wobbled, slowing to a precarious halt. "Woo! Ladees 'n gents, th'champion!" She exclaimed as Terence closed in behind her. She panted and her chest heaved, pulse soaring as she readjusted to standing still. "Tha's right," she affirmed, nodding her head a few times too many. She'd clambered up the first few steps to solidify her victory, putting them closer to eye level. Accustomed to craning upwards to stare at the tall librarian, the novel perspective caught her unawares. Silent save for her labored breathing, Z continued to stare intently at Terence, lingering a few inches above the crown of his head.

Obviously she'd always thought him a handsome sparrowman, yet Zelda had not seriously considered Terence's appeal as a human. Naturally his good looks had travelled across the portal with his indomitable spirit. Though that was years prior, the student found herself abruptly, acutely struck by the midnight observation. From above, the curve of his chin was stronger, defined. The curve of his button nose arched perfectly towards her, the bend of his brow immaculately symmetrical. Settling her darting gaze within his denim jean eyes, Zelda's focus dug into his iris's intricate slices. Becalmed, her breath steadied, a vision momentarily overtook reality. Terence dissolved into his true self, dirty blonde locks lightening to golden straw, an acorn cap slightly askew crowning the fairy in modest flair.

The brunette's tired body flooded with fervor, a bath washing over her core. As it came and went (and Terence's smooth expression transformed into something her drunken brain perceived as confusion), Z cleared her throat with a short cough. She took on a theatric diversion, whipping her head over Ter's shoulder. "Wait...." she cautioned, imitating intensity. "Wassat?" She whispered with a hiss. Zelda hoped he'd look behind him. Attentively awaiting a reaction, Zelda couldn't maintain the act any longer.

"Th'boogie man's goccha!" She announced with intoxicated enthusiasm. Reaching, Z wrapped her thin arms around Terence's torso, scratching playfully at the fabric of his shirt, mimicking monster's claws. The assault lasted mere moments before her resolve splintered, yielding to peals of laughter. Her head tilted backwards, teeth flashing in the dimness. Continuing to giggle at her antics, her balance faltered. Overcome by humor, Zelda's legs gave and her thin frame wobbled further forward.

"Woh...woop!"

She squeaked as Zelda tumbled down the concrete stairs, her shoulders lurching to lean upon Terence's. Her boots dribbled over the ledge until the girl had almost barreled her escort backwards. Instinctively, her palms gripped at his upper body, her skull bonking his clavicle. She reeled and sucked in a breath, hoping her successive savior hadn't fallen backwards all the way. A fleeting chirp escaped through her closed lips, apologetic as she could muster. Her cheeks blossomed pink, biting her lip to ward off another bout of nervous guffaws. She sighed, forcing air to lend any hint of sobriety to her appeal. "Oops... 'M sorry!" Face shining with sincerity, she couldn't help but allow a petite smirk. Staring upwards once again, Zelda recalled the angles of Terence's face, the perspectives she had never perceived before that evening. It was a marvel, seeing him again for the first time. "Thank you.." Her gratitude rang with fleeting, unprecedented composure. "Not jus'for tonight. For... for everything, Ter."

Holding him close, leaning on him for support (for once, in a literal sense), San Francisco faded into the night surrounding him. There was nothing but the two of them, joined together through time and despair, in pain and joy. Possessed by the memory of Terence the dust-keeping sparrowman, enraptured by the illusive magic of the abandoned city street, her right hand moved. Hesitantly at first, then with a fluid decisiveness, Zelda brushed too-long strands from his forehead to the crook behind his ear. Breathless, she unwittingly sealed the spell. Cool fingers warmed by the contact, her arm dropped to her side.

Then, without ceremony, heart filled with a rekindled lust for life, the girl went up on the toes of her Doc Martens. Left palm sliding across Terence's ribs, Zelda's lips closed the yawning canyon between them. Her tequila-tinged mouth pressed against his. The embrace was remarkably deft, delicate and tender. Warmth begetting warmth, the fairy's caress payed homage to him. The world had stopped for her beyond that stoop, that singular moment lingering in an eternity between reality and fantasy.

His heart stopped in his chest and the world seemed to freeze around him. Time had failed him, seconds that ticked by suddenly paused without reason… And yet… everything seemed to be moving so fast. Like a whirlwind, kicked up in quick gusts, everything rushed together and nothing was making sense. How had he gotten to this place? Even if he could retrace his steps from the bar and could fit together pieces that were crumbling around him, he wouldn’t know. The dots weren’t there and the lines were going every which way. The picture he tried to recreate was a jumbled up mess of scribbles on a page with only one final result—confusion. What was it he was looking at? What was it that he was supposed to be doing? How could something go from one thing to another… so fast and with no warning?

His mind whirred as everything up until that moment faded to nothing. From the conversation as that meandered the street, the way Zarina felt pulled up close to him when he held her, the light friendliness between them to the moments just prior when a chuckle escaped his lips as clawed fingers tickled at his sides, a punishment for losing the race she decided far too quickly to even have… it all faded to nothing, being replaced with a flurry of emotion that he couldn’t possibly handle. He had never experienced something so overwhelming… something that for maybe a second felt right… but then Clarion felt so wrong. Something that overcame him so fast and so hard that his breath was stolen in a simple gesture and his body was left frozen in place trying to process the gentle touches and the way her lips felt against his.

Betrayal sank in to his skin, sharp nails ripping in to tender flesh. Though not the same kind he had felt before. This was different. This was nothing like how he felt when he found Cornelius’s ring or when he found out Lina had met with her fairy prince behind his back. It was just as earthshattering, the ground and everything he stood on crumbling beneath him as the moment continued uninterrupted, and was just as painful… but somehow it felt worse. It was heavier… made his stomach turn in ways that it never had before… and he couldn’t stand it. There was fear in his blue eyes as they refused to close, his heart racing as it came back to life and the shock of the tender kiss flooded him with the only thing he could possibly think to call the heaviness weighing on his chest—Guilt.

This betrayal didn’t come from a place he recognized because it came from him. This betrayal wasn’t one that was done to him, but one that he was doing to the one person in the world who he loved more than anything. More than the air that filled his lungs and even more than the dust that once gave him the magic to fly. He had betrayed her… and it wasn’t even something to innocent as a dumb ring tucked away and a lunch date with a lost love. This was personal… this was… cheating. She would never forgive him, she was lost… he could feel her slipping away through fingers that were held up defensively, refusing to touch the woman who had wrapped herself around him so delicately. He hadn’t done this on purpose, and Clarion he never could… but it happened… ithappened.

His heart hammered in his chest and the moments that felt like they lasted forever were put to an abrupt end. Defensive hands surged forwards and pushed her shoulders away as delicately as one could who needed to escape such an embrace, his head ducking under and out of her wrapped embrace. Unsteady feet stumbled back, quite nearly falling off the step he had been standing on when it all happened, his body clambering with the momentum and falling unceremoniously to the ground before her. His cheeks were flushed, though not with embarrassment, and his blue eyes filled with a sadness as he regarded the girl he had thought his best friend. Her lips left a bitter taste in his mouth and he shook his head, another feeling of betrayal washing over him—this time, it was her fault.

“What… was that Z!” his words were loud, clumsy almost as he looked to her, trying so desperately to understand why she had done that. He wasn’t ignorant of her feelings toward him, he knew that there was a point in time when they both loved each other but were too afraid to say a word—even a whisper about it. But that time had passed them by… He was with Lina and nothing could rekindle that flame. He thought she knew that… could have sworn she understood! She had even given him advice, told him to keep trying and move forward! That things with Lina would get better! She approved of them! But maybe that was his naïve optimism… maybe she had lied the whole time and they weren’t as close as he thought them to be. This betrayal… her betrayal… was nothing like the sick feeling in his stomach, but more like a stabbing ache in his heart. She wasn’t in her right mind, and maybe somewhere in his head he knew that, but her actions were unforgivable regardless.

Bringing himself back to his feet he looked to the girl with confusion and pain on his face, his mouth opening and closing as words were lost to him. His world was shattering and all he could think to ask was ‘why’. Why had she done it? Why had she lied to him? Why!?! What hurt most of all though wasn’t the drunken action, but what it would do to their friendship—if there possibly could be one left after this. Foresight was not one of his many talents, but even still he could look past so much on a normal day and see something in the future. Tonight though, he saw nothing but pain and guilt and remorse… a darkness settling in. Everything was lost… Lina was lost, Z was lost, hell! Even he was lost. And that hurt more than anything. Everything he worked so hard for, the life he had made beautiful in the light of the darkness… was lost. And all because… because…

Tears formed in his eyes but the blonde sparrowman couldn’t tell if it was anger or sadness that caused them. His cheeks remained red as his hands dusted off his khaki pants and he situated his leather jacket more firmly around himself, closing himself off to the girl and to the world. Sucking in his cheek and biting down until he felt the ache of pain he sighed. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go! Sure, a night making sure his drunken friend got home safely was hardly something he was prepared to plan… but this wasn’t anywhere in the cards. He was supposed to have fun and laugh, get out of his head and his skin and feel alive again after the culminating betrayal of Lina and Cornelius had taken hold of him. He had finally started to feel better, laughing in the brisk air of the night and enjoying her company. And this wasn’t supposed to be how it ended. He swallowed hard, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth ignored as he fixed the girl with a look, heartbroken and upset, hands wiping away at the tears in his eyes.

“Why would you do that! Why Zarina!” he asked quickly. He shook his head, looking and turning away from her. “Clarion! I thought we were passed this… why would you do that—I’m with Lina!” for someone usually articulate his words were clumsy and half thought out, sentences hardly coherent as he spoke words that came to his tongue before he could propyl weave them together. He stopped, summoning a breath and trying to calm himself down, wanting so badly to try and understand what was going through her head. “Was everything you told me back in… back in spring a lie? Have you been lying to me this whole time Z?” his voice cracked as he turned back around to look at her, his heart aching… Terence tried to summon another breath, his body shaking so completely, not so silently pleading with her to give him the answers he so desperately needed in that moment.

A mere instant was enough to melt her surroundings, sidewalk and infrastructure dissolving around them. With less than an exhale, the enveloping warmth of Pixie Hollow's sunshine danced on their faces and shoulders, flickering through swaying branches. The stream bubbled behind them, Zarina's wings fluttering. When she peeked through heavy eyelids, she glimpsed the soft face of Terence the dust-keeper, pointy ears poking through a tussled, flaxen mop. His acorn-cap slightly askew, she perceived calm and acceptance where their lips met. The alchemist's mind went blank. Her fairy heart thrummed persistently, nearly aching with the weight of its capacity. Here, by the place where the two had walked and talked on countless occasions, everything was right. All those seasons where they'd ignored the chemistry between them, changing the subject when the closeness was too much to bear, straddling the thin line between coworkers and something more: it culminated to that very moment, linked together where they belonged. In that singular second, she was happy.

Pressure against her shoulders, sudden and abrupt, shattered the illusion.

A gear stalled in her mind, lagging and grinding against its adjacent spur as their home's ubiquitous brilliance dissipated into vapors. The streetlight's harsh, fluorescent spotlight returned as if to capture her in an operating theatre for the benefit of squinting, medically-minded men. She felt lifeless, numb; the preserved remains of a frog awaiting dissection beneath a blinding halo of light. The taste of Terence's lips, lingering upon her own, now churned her stomach with nausea. No, no, it's wrong. This isn't home. This isn't real. Her conflicted, hampered brain rejected the reality now playing out before her. The human's face, drawn in lines of anger and pain, was foreign. Zelda stared dumbly at her escort, unprepared and ill-equipped to respond. Her expression remained smooth, a hint of curiosity in her distant green gaze. She'd regressed instantaneously, a child once more; one who'd crushed a butterfly to see what would happen. Now she found herself observing its immobilized beauty with confusion.

The man before her was a stranger: no acorn hat nor silver wings of which to speak. His movements were jagged, disjointed and reactionary. Though she was processing the last minute at an excruciatingly languorous pace, a glimpse of tears crushed any residual happiness lingering within. She'd wounded him profoundly; the weight of that recognition jolted her out of the peculiar trance. Her mouth opened, a reflex. Zelda, master at bullshitting and sweet-talking her way through dilemmas, was speechless. Why? Why had she.... Unsteady, her right hand rose to her face, gently testing her glistening, moist bottom lip. She'd kissed him. It wasn't dreamworld Terence who'd received the embrace of her emotion, everything unspoken and bursting within her. That vision in her head, it was a lie; a beguiling mimicry of the real sparrowman, the very same one now thrown into turmoil by her own hand.

"'M! Sorry..." She blurted, her voice a thin croak. Feeling weak, her knees knocking, Z faltered and collapsed onto the stoop. She sat and hugged her legs to her chest, infantile and ashamed. She never meant to make him angry. She never meant to make him upset. But something wasn't clicking together. Logic thoroughly suppressed with alcohol, the scientist couldn't conjure together the reason why her action had shaken him so. Fully anticipating his departure, Zelda said nothing more. Fear creeping into her bewilderment, the undergrad began to dread the worst. You wrecked it, he's going to leave you, you'll never be a part of Pixie Hollow ever again, you deserve to be what you are, a human with no magic, a student who can't do anything important, you were cast out of paradise for a reason, you're a sinner, sinner, sinner and Fairy Gary was always right to watch you, you never belonged in the first place... nothing more than Terence's charity case... you never deserved his friendship in the first place. He's right to leave you behind. Silent tears began to obscure her pre-hindered sight, stoppering her throat in a tight knot.

Yet even through the wall of saline, Z perceived his charged glare, cutting down into her. He demanded answers and she was incapable of conjuring any. She hid her leaking cheeks, tucking her head into her denim skirt. It stained with black makeup and snot as she futility attempted to block out his demands. Inhaling and exhaling, her head lightened, dizzied with booze and raw emotion. She could not comprehend why her feelings were so abhorrent to him, why her caress disgusted him to such an extent. That is, until he said it. A name: Lina. Li-na.

The missing puzzle piece slipped back into place and her stomach dropped to the floor below her tear-stained Doc Martens. The woman he'd fallen in love with in this damned city, she was the discrepancy between life and the castle in the sky where she and Terence could be. Zarina did not loathe her or envy her, no. Where she expected to feel jealousy, Z was surprised by the emptiness. Instead, an alternate spark ignited. Her head rose, whipping upwards as her mane flew back. When she sat up at last, a fierce enmity fixed itself upon Terence. She couldn't control her tears but refused to succumb so easily.

"Y-y-y-y-y....you l-left me.... be-hi-nd...." She managed, her stuttering tone even. Zelda was far from herself, but she was controlling the looming hysteria remarkably. "Y...you f-f-forgot ab-b-bout Pixie Hollow!" Her volume increased as she leaned forward, digging into her bare legs. "It...it w-was easy f-for you... to... to s-start over...." She took a beat to breathe, air rushing in and out audibly. The girl swallowed, feeling the full impact of putting the truth into words. "B...but I... I n-never c-c-c....could." It shamed her to admit it and the depth of their mutual loss struck hard. Her expression contorted and quivered. "I n-never s...s..stopped l-looking for... f-for a way... t-to get it... back." Another pause as she found her lungs short of breath. "N...never m-m-meant t-to lie. I d-d'int know...s-some things are... just lo..lost... f-forever." The grip on her thighs slackened. Her tongue contorted, unable to continue. A fresh wave trickled down from her eyes as she admitted the suffering to them both.

Zarina had spent years trying to recover from the catastrophe that had shattered their lives and devastated their homeland, floundering aimlessly before she resolved to try and reverse it within the human realm. The passionate, headstrong fairy never accepted the fact that they wouldn't return. Perhaps she'd failed to accept limitations when it came to her dearest companion, too. The taste of her failure was dry and thick, lingering with shame and despair. Helpless to convey her perspective any more eloquently, Z couldn't look him in the eye. She stared at his shoes, lugubrious and despondent. What else could she say? Surely the foolish dreamer had sacrificed her last link to the home, the life, and the populace she so coveted. She sensed it slipping away into the midnight air, fading up and into the atmosphere like tendrils of smoke.