Sunday, May 04, 2008

The seventh episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp started with all of the contestants riding on a bus to the boot camp. After arriving at the boot camp, each of the contestants exited the bus and lined up in front of drill instructor Harvey Walden.

After the contestants were lined up, Harvey said to Dustin Diamond, "Dustin Diamond, surprised to see you here. Anything to say to your teammates since you walked out on them last week?" Diamond's only response was to pretend like nothing had happened last week, saying, "Uh, I hope you guys all lost a lot of weight." Tocarra Jones and Brian Dunkelman rolled their eyes as Diamond said this.

A side interview was subsequently shown where A.J. Benza said the following about Diamond:

"I think somewhere in the middle of the show people stopped caring about Dustin's journey. When a bunch of us started getting screwed up with, you know, the Dustin drama, it was look, like we're not gonna play in that drama no more. If you're gonna do it, you do it, but we have shit to do and work to get done and we're gonna do it."

Harvey then explained to everyone that this was "Hell Week," and that everyone was going to have to work hard while dealing with a sleep deficit. The red and blue teams subsequently went over to separate barracks to discuss their progress amongst themselves. In the red team's barracks, Tocarra asked Erin Moran what her strategy was to lose weight. Willie Aames joined Tocarra in questioning Erin Moran's weight loss progress, clearly annoying Erin Moran in the process.

In a later interview, Erin Moran showed that she didn't take the weight loss seriously, saying, "I don't want to lose more weight. If I lose three pounds instead of two [i.e., her weekly target weight loss], like that's really gonna make a difference ... to win? I don't think so ..."

Willie said to Erin Moran, "We worked our asses off. We had this thing wrapped up. They changed the teams ... ok. You've got a chance to win, but you're riding your chance to win on our work."

Willie also mentioned that he really wanted to win the team contest over Diamond's blue team. Erin Moran replied that winning wouldn't make a difference in her life. After listening to Erin Moran's answer, Willie said in a later interview, "I don't think I got through to Erin one bit. I lost any respect I had for Erin at that point."

The blue and red teams were then shown receiving instructions from Ant regarding the week's team fitness challenge. The fitness challenge was a reconnaissance mission - military supplies were deposited at eight locations through the rocky terrain of the boot camp and were to be brought back and placed on wooden platforms for each of the teams. The teams were given 2 1/2 hours to clear as many of the locations as possible.

The red team arrived as a location where each team had to dig out a massive tire that was partially buried in dirt and roll it back to the start line. The red team used shovels to dig out their tire and then decided to sabotage the blue team by throwing the shovels behind some trees before the blue team arrived at that particular location.

When the blue team arrived at the location with the tire, they were forced to dig it out with their hands, as there were no shovels available at that time. After digging out the tire, the blue team rolled it back toward the start line along with objects from other locations that had been cleared. At this moment, Diamond began his trademark complaining. Diamond bitched, "I'm so tired."

In a later interview, Tina Yothers said, "Dustin started whining right out of the gate. And he just really got under my skin. I just don't want to hear him anymore."

While walking up a hill on the rocky course, Diamond complained, "Oh man, I'm starting to hurt." Dunkelman tried to motivate Diamond, telling him to "suck it up."

After reaching the start line with objects from three locations and loading them onto their platform, Diamond pretended to be injured. Diamond uttered, "Ow, I just had a cramp in my leg." At this point in the episode, it became abundantly clear that Diamond was a 100% wimp, even weaker and more pathetic than his Screech character on Saved By The Bell ever was.

Sommore said in a later interview, "[A]ll of a sudden Dustin catches a charley horse. I don't want to just assume that he's faking. I don't want to do that."

Brian Dunkelman then began massaging Diamond's leg. Diamond appeared to enjoy Dunkelman's massage and I began to question whether Diamond had pretended to be injured to get out of the competition or whether he did so to get Dunkelman to give him a homoerotic massage. The former scenario is most likely the case, although it is not a 100% certainty.

A scene was later shown where Diamond was carrying more supplies to the start line and stopped because he got tired. Dunkelman yelled at Diamond again, saying, "We're almost there, Dustin. Don't you fucking quit on me. ... You guys gotta suck it up. You gotta. Come on Dustin, I'm in pain. Let's go, drag that fucking thing!"

In response, Diamond whined, "You guys walk so fast."

Near the end of the competition, both teams carried items furiously back to the start line. Tocarra tried to block the blue team's advance by moving right in front of them while holding a pole with canteens on it. This action infuriated Dunkelman, and Dunkelman and Tocarra exchanged words.

Finally, the fitness challenge ended and the red team was crowned the winning team, having clears 7 locations, versus 6 for the blue team. The end result seemed like total b.s. to team, seeing as how the red team had sabotaged the blue team by throwing away their shovels that they were to use to dig out the big tire.

After the result was announced, the blue team was asked to vote for the "Dead Weight" member. Diamond was apparently under the impression that everyone was going to vote for Tina Yothers because he had blisters on his feet and she offered to be the Dead Weight. However, Diamond's teammates were pissed at him for another pathetic performance and voted for him anyway.

About the vote, Diamond said in a later interview, "Tina said, everyone pick me as the Dead Weight because I don't have any blisters on my feet. I wrote Tina down because of that."

Sommore was also interviewed after the vote, saying, "Dustin's like, 'I thought we had a plan.' It wasn't my plan. When you stopped on that road and we had to wait on you, you were dead weight."

As the Dead Weight, Diamond was ordered to dig a big 3-foot deep hole. The hole appeared to be about the length and width of a grave.

While Diamond dug the hole, Erin Moran was getting her shoulder looked at; she had apparently injured it during the fitness challenge. The rest of the cast members were waiting in the barracks where they eat and were joking around about how pathetic Diamond and Erin Moran were on the show.

A.J. Benza said, "What [Erin] lacks in strength, she has in heart. That's what Dustin needs. He stops at the first pain."

Dunkelman chimed in, saying, "What [Dustin] lacks in physical ability, he makes up for with lack of desire and laziness." Everyone started laughing hysterically at Diamond's ineptitude at this point. While everyone was joking, Tocarra offered to trade Erin Moran back to the blue team for Dustin Diamond. Tocarra was apparently under the impression that the blue team was willing to make such an exchange, although nobody on the blue team seriously considered making the trade.

Diamond eventually returned to the boot camp after spending more than two hours digging the hole. Tocarra took Diamond aside and told him that everyone joked about him while he was gone and that his team offered to trade him for Erin Moran. Diamond was clearly hurt when Tocarra told him that people were joking about him. In a later interview, Diamond said, "You know what hurts me a bit is that my team turned on me and that's just not very strategic thinking."

Tocarra then called a team meeting of all of the cast members, and said that she wanted to go through the Diamond - Erin Moran trade. At this point, everyone of the blue team refused the trade and said that they wanted to keep Diamond.

Erin Moran was very upset when the proposed trade was announced. In a subsequent interview, she said, "Why mess with a person that likes you and is nice and just wants to be positive and happy? Why do that? It's just pointless and it's rude and it's very disrespectful. There's no respect."

The cast members later went back to their barracks to sleep and were awoken at midnight by Harvey. Everyone walked outside and carried flashlights to a location near the bottom of a steep hill. The teams were instructed to each push a large tire up the steep hill. The first team to the top would get to sleep in the next morning and skip that day's early morning exercises.

Diamond's blue team had a major advantage in the competition because Erin Moran was injured and couldn't push her team's tire, effectively giving the blue team a 4-3 advantage. Shortly after the start, Diamond began complaining that he was going to throw up and started walking next to his teammates without helping push his team's tire up the hill.

About Diamond, Sommore later said, "We were way ahead of [the red team], but Dustin is like walking next to us and I'm like, 'Get your ass in here and get some of this somewhere.'"

Dunkelman and Diamond had the following exchange:

"Dunkelman: Dustin, get the fuck up here!Diamond: I'm gonna puke.Dunkelman: I don't care. Then puke and then get up here. I'm sick of fucking doing twice the work! Let's go!"

Everyone on the blue team started yelling at Diamond to not give up for once. The motivation apparently helped, as the blue team ended up winning the event and got to sleep in the next morning. After finishing the race, everyone went back to their barracks for more sleep.

At 6:30 AM, Harvey woke everyone up and the red team was taken to an obstacle course. Yothers joined the red team to get some additional exercise, impressing Willie Aames. The daily exercise drill was to flip big tires across the course, throw medicine balls, pull a sled with another cast member sitting on it, put rocks into a ditch to make a bridge, and then perform the course in reverse.

Finally, the weigh-in for the week was shown. Diamond stepped on the scale and it was revealed that he had lost 4 pounds and was now down to a total body weight of 197 lbs, a loss of 20 lbs from the start of the show. Dr. Ian Smith congratulated Diamond on his weight loss and had the following conversation with Diamond:

"Dr. Ian Smith: Dustin, I've got to say that I think that you and I have had a great relationship this show. So I have to ask you a question - why do you go and come back, go and come back? Why do you go through the theatrics?Diamond: See, I see it as avoiding the theatrics. I mean, if things start getting heated, or aggressive or whatever, I'd just, I'd rather be away from it.Dr. Ian Smith: But disagreements will happen. We're all human beings. We all have very strong opinions and it just seems like - it just makes you look like, 'Oh my goodness - he's quitting again. Give me ... what else is new?'Diamond: Well, I never quit. I'm not quitting, I'm here for the long haul."

After Diamond stepped off the scale, a picture of Diamond was shown which indicated his body weight % and body fat % lost during the show. The picture indicated that although Diamond had lost 20 lbs up to this point, or 9.2% of his initial body weight, he had only lost 1.9% of his body fat. Amazingly, this means that Diamond's body fat % has actually increased over the first seven weeks of the show!

In the first episode, Diamond weighed in at 217 lbs and had a measured body fat % of 27%. This means that he carried about 58.59 lbs of fat and 158.41 lbs of non-fat material. As of the seventh episode, he had lost just 1.9% of his body fat. This means that he carried about 57.478 lbs of fat (i.e., ((1-.019) * 58.59). 57.478 lbs of fat / 197 lbs of total weight = a body fat % of about 29.2 %!

Through the first seven weeks, he lost about 1.11 lbs of fat and 18.89 lbs of non-fat body weight. That can't all be water loss, so he must have lost a lot of muscle - he has to have been starving himself. It's really shocking to me that Dr. Ian Smith would actually praise Diamond for losing so much weight when barely 5% of the weight that Diamond lost was body fat. It's an extremely unhealthy way to lose weight and I can practically guarantee that Diamond will be even fatter within a year.

Getting back to the show, Brian Dunkelman was weighed after Diamond. Dunkelman was some weight and then revealed that he was upset about the way he was viewed after the first season of American Idol, during which he had been a co-host. Dunkelman said that he wasn't fired, but that he quit because he didn't like the way that the kids were treated on the show. He also said that choosing to not return for the second season was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his entire life.

Finally, Erin Moran got on the scale. Erin had gained one pound for the week and after seven weeks had only lost four of the eight pounds that she was supposed to lose during the course of the show. Dr. Ian Smith asked her why she was even on the show and Erin replied that she's on the show for the money.

Stacey Kaiser said that Erin's performance was horrible and that if she were handing out the checks, she wouldn't pay Erin. Stacey Kaiser also asked Erin why she didn't want the benefit of the health advice offered on the show. Erin clearly did not want to talk to Stacey Kaiser at this time and Ant chimed in, saying that Erin was being disrespectful to Stacey Kaiser. Finally, Erin said the following:

"It's not that I don't want [the benefits], Stacey. I do want them. At this time and juncture in my life, I'm doing it for the money, ok? It's not like I'm totally ignoring it and not doing anything. This is the best I've done in my whole life."

The red team's captain, Tocarra, looked very upset at Erin's lack of weight loss progress and overall dismissive attitude when Erin was on the scale. FYI, despite having lost only 4 lbs, or 3.1% of her overall body weight, Erin had actually lost a larger % of her body fat than Diamond! Erin was shown to have lost 2.9% of her body fat, a full percentage point more than Diamond.

9 comments:

Anonymous
said...

God this is getting fricken old with Dustin. There are other people such as Erin Moron(yes I spelled it that way purposely). Even Scott "Chachi" Baio who tried making a comeback with his pathetic reality show is someone worth discussing since he's so fricken pathetic. Even half of the 90210's are washed up, but for whatever reason you guys have a Dustin fixation. Move on to someone else already afterall he ain't that fricken interesting.

What the hell happened to Erin Moran?? She looks horrible, almost unrecognizable. I must say that I find Dustin way more tolerable than her. He may whine, have the stamina of a 90 year old, and he's the only person who tries to solve anything by calling his "lawyer", but Erin is the one who is bringing the crazy this season. The woman needs therapy bad. I think she deserves an entry in this website.

Regarding Dustin's fat loss...I think its obvious that Dustin did not follow Dr. Ian's diet. For some reason I can't picture Dustin counting calories and working out in a gym, which would explain why he gets so tired easily. Dude is wayy out of shape.

This show is over, so I'll be getting back to profiling other washed up celebrities. I still need to recap the final episode, but that may take awhile because I haven't seen the entire episode yet and it isn't being replayed on VH1 this week.

I'm surprised to see that Dustin Diamond, at 31 years old, is apparently still growing. In the previous season he is 6'0",and now he is 6'1"!? Something's not right; I think his Jew-fro is what makes him look taller. Willie Aames and Erin Moran's heights are also incorrect.

BTW, great website. I just discovered it today and I've been reading all the entries. Very funny stuff

Some people on here have a Dustin fixation because of all the washed-up celebrities in Hollywood, he is one of the most pathetic ones out there. He's a big-ass whiner that deserves to be ridiculed on this blog and I for one can't wait to see if he ends up on another reality show so we can make fun of him some more on this blog and beyond.

More info on the Erin Moran story...the reason she was on the show "only for the money" was because her house was going into foreclousure. According to the Enquirer, she was paid $75,000 to be on the show.

So while our "friend" Dustin sells t-shirts to save his house, Erin goes on reality shows. Haven't these two gotten the clue that they are not talented and that's why their talents are not in demand??? Get a real job like the rest of us. Idiots.

Dustin is dead to me - dead - you hear me. I once lusted after that once man sex love slave but his hijinx turned me off much like touching your dick to a car battery. I wouldn't shit on his chest if he got me a date with Zack Morris. I wouldn't even give him a dirty sanchez if his life depended on it! That being said, I'd still love to see him get sodomized by Gary Coleman in a devil costume while spitting pork products all over Diamond.

Supposedly, Dustin Diamond signed a deal with Gotham Books to write a tell-all book about the "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying" during his stint on Saved By the Bell. That ought to be interesting.