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Topic: "Please don't attend if you're sick" (Read 14057 times)

Quick background for those who didn't read my last thread, my SIL is pregnant and due in less than a week now. I am holding a Welcome The Baby party for her in March once she and Baby are feeling up to it.

Now, my husband's family is kind of ... lacking in the social niceties at times. Every one of the ladies I will be inviting from his side have shown up sick at one event or another. It's also the middle of cold and flu season, and I don't want my precious niece to get sick (neither does my SIL, of course). Is there any polite way to ask people not to attend if they are ill, or do I just put up with it and put out prettily decorated containers of hand sanitizer?

My mom has said to put something like "In light of cold and flu season, we ask that you plan to meet (NAME) at another time if you are feeling under the weather." on the invitation but I don't know whether that's actually polite or not.

I would still put out sanitizer and maybe tell SIL to keep baby away from people as much as she can - she can start practicing her baby bean dips: "oh, [name] is a bit colicky, i'll hold her for now", "oh she is spitting up a lot, let me hold on to her for now", "she needs her nap now, let's go and talk in the other room <gently shooing person out of the room>"

Include it and don't worry about offending someone. They should understand.

However, I think maybe I would also postpone the party until Baby is at least 3 months old. I'm not an alarmist helicopter parent type, but I do believe in sticking close to home for the first several months. It's easier on the parents and the baby.

The date has been discussed with my SIL and she has requested March, as the next available time would be in October due to scheduling with grandparents and other important relatives, including the baby's dad, my BIL.

I think maybe I would also postpone the party until Baby is at least 3 months old. I'm not an alarmist helicopter parent type, but I do believe in sticking close to home for the first several months. It's easier on the parents and the baby.

I agree.

Three months is a cute age, baby will be starting to notice people. Baby and mother will have their routine worked out, less stress involved in going out. Weather is apt to be pleasanter, too.

I wouldn't include information about illness and staying home on an invitation. Word of mouth is a good way to spread that, if the parents think it's necessary.

I heartily agree with the proposed wording. There's nothing impolite about it and it makes sense to keep everyone safe.

With the flu and norovirus going around, several states have declared public health emergencies. NYS is one of them.

Churches are foregoing the 'kiss of peace' in favor of a pleasant smile and nod to parishioners in the next pew. Youth sports leagues are opting for an elbow pat to replace a high five for the duration.

I think that, technically, it's rude to put a note like that on the invite. It strikes me as being somewhat akin to writing "no children" on a wedding invite. Technically, these people are adults and should be expected to know that they need to stay at home if they realize that they're sick. The rudeness comes in assuming that they are so lacking in social niceties that they would go to a Meet the Baby party while deep within the throes of a nasty cold.

Of course these people are so lacking in social niceties that they would show up sick...

I know you said there wasn't another date until October, but is there a way that you can put some info on there about an alternative date? Something like "In light of this being a particularly virulent cold and flu season, mom has set aside $date for folks who are sick on $partydate to meet the baby." Then you're being informative, not telling them what to do.

Even though you're still telling them what to do.

Are there a couple of people who you could deputize? If I had a relative who I knew would have the gall to show up all germy to meet an itty, bitty baby, I would tell them to stay home if I realized that they were sick. It might help to take a couple of the relatives who DO have some social graces aside and ask them to keep an eye on the most likely offenders.

You should also be on the lookout at the party itself to make sure that anyone who does manage to show up sick doesn't hold the baby.

I'd do both - put out the word on the invite, and have hand sanitizer/tissues handy (and maybe even masks - throw a bow on the side or something to make it festive). Safety trumps etiquette, and with all the deaths/serious hospitalizations with this year's flu, it makes no sense not to be prepared for the worst if people are just that clueless.

I'd wait until October to have the party. The flu is way too out there right now, and you do not want to take a chance at all of getting this baby sick. I know October seems like a ways off, but it's worth it.

Something to remember about the hand sanitizers - they don't kill viruses. The flu is a virus, not a bacteria. Using a hand sanitizer is not really helping you at all. Besides, the flu is spread primarily via the air. All it would take is one person sneezing, and the germs are spread.

I'd wait until October to have the party. The flu is way too out there right now, and you do not want to take a chance at all of getting this baby sick. I know October seems like a ways off, but it's worth it.

Something to remember about the hand sanitizers - they don't kill viruses. The flu is a virus, not a bacteria. Using a hand sanitizer is not really helping you at all. Besides, the flu is spread primarily via the air. All it would take is one person sneezing, and the germs are spread.

Wait until later to have people meet this baby.

The guest of honor is an adult, not a child. If she'd like to have the party in March instead of October I don't think it's up to the OP to tell her she's not allowed to make that decision.

OP I think your wording is fine and I agree with the PP that it would still be a good idea to have lots of sanitizer and tissues around.

I think the wording if fine. I wouldn't be upset at all about receiving an invitation with that addition, especially with all of the illness going around. I'd personally appreciate it as a guest hoping that others attending would take heed, not only for the mother and chid's well being, but for mine too.

I also think your fine with the timing of the party. Everyone has differing opinions about exposing babies to germs. I always operated under the "expose them and help build up the immune system" theory.