Posts: 1 to 25 of 92

Topic: Ralin's Creations

I'm much more a writer then a painter, so most if not everything I add to this thread will be writting creations that are too small to have their own thread. Hope you enjoy

For my first creation here, I have his alternate scene to offer. No offense, but IÃ¢Â€Â™m tired of the cheesy alternate scenes that IÃ¢Â€Â™ve seen posted. LetÃ¢Â€Â™s put some time into making alternate scenes that are not only possible, but also something weÃ¢Â€Â™d actually WANT to see *ie no Palps dancing in G-string etc.*!

HereÃ¢Â€Â™s my contribution to said alternate scenes

Ep. VI Alternate Scene

The carbonite begins to melt away from Han Solo. He flexes his fingers slightly, he moves his lips gently, and then falls to the ground. A gloved hand grabs his shoulder and helps him to sit up.

Ã¢Â€ÂœRelax. YouÃ¢Â€Â™re free of the CarboniteÃ¢Â€Â a helmet altered voice says to him from the darkness. A voice Han recognizedÃ¢Â€Â¦

Ã¢Â€ÂœFett?!Ã¢Â€Â

Ã¢Â€ÂœThatÃ¢Â€Â™s rightÃ¢Â€Â said the blurry green figure before his eyes. Ã¢Â€ÂœYour friends wasted a lot of time looking for you. They finally got smart and offered me more then Jabba was paying me to hang around this place.Ã¢Â€Â

Two sets of curtains flashed open, revealing JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s goons behind and Jabba himself in front of them.

Ã¢Â€ÂœSo, the mighty Boba Fett betrays me.Ã¢Â€Â

Ã¢Â€ÂœNo betrayal, Jabba; itÃ¢Â€Â™s nothing personal. But either way, IÃ¢Â€Â™m taking Captain Solo out of here. It would be wise of you NOT to try and stop me.Ã¢Â€Â

Ã¢Â€ÂœNo one steals from me and lives. You should have remained loyal Fett. Now both you AND Solo will DIE!Ã¢Â€Â

Before JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s goons could move in, however, Boba held up his hand. Ã¢Â€ÂœWait. You donÃ¢Â€Â™t think IÃ¢Â€Â™m stupid enough thaw out Solo without a backup plan, do you? IÃ¢Â€Â™m giving you all one last chance, stand aside.Ã¢Â€Â

"And why should I let you go?"

"Because of this..." said Fett as his left hand moved from around his back and revealed the Thermal Detonator in his grasp, sending most of Jabba's enforcers running for cover.

"HA" Jabba bellowed. "You MAY be stupid enough to try to take my property out of here from under my very nose, but NOBODY'S stupid enough to use one of those in an enclosed room like this. You're bluffing.......and a pathetic bluff at that. You donÃ¢Â€Â™t scare anybody any more, Fett. TAKE HIÃ¢Â€Â¦.Ã¢Â€Â

JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s words were cut off with a mighty throw from Fett, who sent the detonator flying into Jabba's gapping mouth.

Jabba tried not to swallow, but the *Gulp* sound betrayed him. His eye's widened as Boba raised his hand to his wrist gauntlet. "Bye Jabba" said Fett with no more emotion then if he was about to step on a Tatooine dust-ant. Pressing a button on the gauntlet, Jabba imploded.

Ã¢Â€ÂœAny body else think IÃ¢Â€Â™m not scary?Ã¢Â€Â

The formerly employed goons stood in awed silence, staring at their slumped over master, smoke still rising from his head. One grabbed for his blaster, and was leveled by Fett. Several others then went for their weapons, forcing Fett to opt for Plan C.

Ã¢Â€ÂœDUCK!Ã¢Â€Â he yelled for Solo as he forced the other manÃ¢Â€Â™s head down. Pressing the button on his gauntlet, several explosives heÃ¢Â€Â™s hidden around JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s throne room exploded, ripping into the surrounding goons. Nearly all went down from the explosives, and a few remaining thugs ran or were taken down by BobaÃ¢Â€Â™s deadly fire.

Walking out of the palace, Han looked at the shadowy figure walking next to him. Ã¢Â€ÂœThanks, Fett. I guess weÃ¢Â€Â™re even.Ã¢Â€Â

Ã¢Â€ÂœThink that if you wishÃ¢Â€Â he said without turning. Ã¢Â€ÂœBut like I said to Jabba, its nothing personal, before or nowÃ¢Â€Â¦.Ã¢Â€Â

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

I don't like it. I think that the portrayal of Fett is a little off. There was a comic where he was offered more to swap sides. He didn't. I don't think it would fit his code. Sorry. Other then that, its good.

P.S. OOOOOOO BURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(At the person SI was referring to)

[i]The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed[/i][url=http://lfgcomic.com/page/1]Interrogations are hard...[/url]

Re: Ralin's Creations

Alo Fett wrote:

Can you take the place of Keran Travis?

Would be fine with me

About Boba Honor Code, I don't think it would be tarnished be turning on a Hutt, especially since he wouldn't be defaulting on a hunt contract, but cutting his ties with a.........not even sure WHAT he was still doing still at Jabba's Palace.

That stuff about Hutt hide being blaster proof sounds like BS to me, but if it's canon I could edit that.

Thanks for the kind words, I'll have to crank out some more alternates like this I do have a FanFic in mind that's similar to AoS. Might preview it here.

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Well it looks like I exaggerated it a bit. It's not basically impervious. Wookieepedia says that it can take several hits before vital organs, as they have such a big layer of fat. It just came across as impervious as it was taking hits and hits in the Boba Fett comic. Methinks.

[i]Like I told your captain, the orphange attacked me. It was self-defense.[/i] -Richard the Warlock [url]http://archive.lfgcomic.com/lfg0002.gif[/url]

Re: Ralin's Creations

Sev Fett wrote:

Well it looks like I exaggerated it a bit. It's not basically impervious. Wookieepedia says that it can take several hits before vital organs, as they have such a big layer of fat. It just came across as impervious as it was taking hits and hits in the Boba Fett comic. Methinks.

Yeah, I do recall something about Hutt's being pretty hard to kill with blaster fire *probably from the Solo books,* but I wasn't sure if was canon or not. I guess it is. I shall edit then

Mandalorian Assassin wrote:

but wouldn't a wrist rocket penetrate the Hutt skull more effectively?

Do Hutt's even have skulls/bones? I never checked, but they look like invertebrates to me; perhapes being held together only by cartalage, muscle, or in a Hutt's case maybe just fat

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Luke walks onto the ramp, then looks over his shoulder to exchange a look with Lando. After a moment, he then looks up and gives a salute to R2, who is positioning himself to launch LukeÃ¢Â€Â™s lightsaber.

Jabba triggers his megaphone again. Ã¢Â€ÂœPut him in!Ã¢Â€Â

As the guard moves forward, Luke drops from the ramp, grabs the end, and flips himself over the guard. Raising his hand to the sky for his lightsaberÃ¢Â€Â¦Ã¢Â€Â¦Ã¢Â€Â¦and he realizes itÃ¢Â€Â™s nowhere to be seen. Looking to R2 on the sail-barge, Boba Fett has his hand covering the compartment R2 was hiding the weapon. With a Force push, Luke knocks the guard heÃ¢Â€Â™s jumped over into the Sarlacc. Turning quickly, he uses the Force to pull a blaster from one of the remaining guards and shoots two of them while Lando fights with the last guard.

Standing next to R2, Boba watches the fight unfold as he still holds his hand over R2Ã¢Â€Â™s secret compartment. The droid defiantly uses itÃ¢Â€Â™s shocker arm and zaps Fett in the leg, with no affect.

Ã¢Â€ÂœThatÃ¢Â€Â™s enough from youÃ¢Â€Â says Boba as he pulls out a driod stunner and zaps R2. The droid seizes up and lands with a thud on the deck, a little smoke coming from it. Boba levels his gauntlet at the RebelÃ¢Â€Â™s skiff and fires a wrist rocket. It hits near Lando and the guard heÃ¢Â€Â™s fighting with, blowing him and the guard over the side of the skiff. The guard is eaten by the Sarlacc, while Lando grabs a loose line and is stranded there hanging over the edge.

Chewie and Luke knock the rest of the guards over the edge, and then Luke jumps to the second skiff, blaster firing. With a Force Wave, he blows all the guards from the skiff and into the Sarlacc.

A gunner on the barge begins firing on SoloÃ¢Â€Â™s hover skiff, knocking out one of itÃ¢Â€Â™s repulsers and tipping it over. Han is nearly launched into the Sarlacc, but his feet get tangled in a line, while Lando slips dangerously close to the SarlaccÃ¢Â€Â™s maw.

Seeing that HanÃ¢Â€Â™s skiff is in danger of being blown from the air, Luke lunges over to the sail-barge, grabbing a closed window plate. Pulling himself up, he quickly reaches the top. With a well aimed blaster shot, he kills the gunner.

Suddenly, from behind one of the sail masts, Boba Fett appears with his EE-3 blaster leveled and fires directly at LukeÃ¢Â€Â™s face. In a Force assisted reflex, Luke covers his face with his artificial hand and blocks the bolt. This move and the impact of the bolt, however, blasts his blaster form his grip and knocks him down. As he tries to get back to his feet, the butt of BobaÃ¢Â€Â™s blaster cracks down on his head. BobaÃ¢Â€Â™s boot them comes down on the back of him neck, pinning Luke to the bargeÃ¢Â€Â™s deck.

Ã¢Â€ÂœYour Force saved you that time, boy. But nothing will protect you nowÃ¢Â€Â FettÃ¢Â€Â™s gravelly voice said coldly as the muzzle of his blaster met LukeÃ¢Â€Â™s temple.

Quietly from behind, Leia crept up behind Boba with a vibro-axe sheÃ¢Â€Â™d taken from a fallen guard. As she reached striking distance, Boba whirled around, letting go of his blaster and letting it hang from itÃ¢Â€Â™s sling, and knocked the axe from LeiaÃ¢Â€Â™s grip with one hand and shoved his other hand under her chin and gripped her throat.

Ã¢Â€ÂœNot smartÃ¢Â€Â¦Ã¢Â€Â¦.PrincessÃ¢Â€Â Fett hissed.

As Fett turned to counter Leia, Luke had been laying on the deck, staring right at R2, who was also still laying flat on the deck. Reaching out with his damaged hand toward R2, the damaged driod spat the lightsaber towards itÃ¢Â€Â™s master.

Fett shoved Leia down, but before he could turn, he heard the distinctive sound of a lightsaber come to life. Luke swung the green blade and caught a piece of BobaÃ¢Â€Â™s jetpack before the bounty hunter could turn. The rupture in the packÃ¢Â€Â™s fuel tank rocketed Fett up and toward the edge of the Barge. Hitting the edge of the BargeÃ¢Â€Â™s sail, he was sent crashing down and into the waiting Sarlacc.

Helping Leia and R2 up, Luke covered her as she leapt onto the bargeÃ¢Â€Â™s main cannon and blasted the craft. The party then saved C3PO from JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s monkeylizard and made good their escapeÃ¢Â€Â¦Ã¢Â€Â¦

After the Scene Where Luke and His Friends Fly Away

The SarlaccÃ¢Â€Â™s pit can be seen as JabbaÃ¢Â€Â™s sail-barge smolders in the background; the camera is slowly moving towards the pit.

Suddenly, a string of explosions erupt, and the Sarlacc roars in pain.

As the camera finally reaches the edge of the pit, Boba FettÃ¢Â€Â™s glove grips the sand directly in front of the camera. Slowly clawing his way out of the pit, his T-visor flashes in front of the camera before it switches to the Death Star sceneÃ¢Â€Â¦..

*Note*

IÃ¢Â€Â™m sorry for the quality of writing on this one, I was in a hurry making it and itÃ¢Â€Â™s more of a rough draft right now. That, and itÃ¢Â€Â™s more designed to project the image then to make a well worded draft. IÃ¢Â€Â™ll probably try to improve it later when I have the time. Hope you enjoy anyway

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

it was pretty good. You kept it true to the movie, with Lando and han still hanging, but made it a little tougher for Luke. Like his vision on Dagobah that if Mara had been there, he would have failed. and showing Fett at the end was nice.

Re: Ralin's Creations

This is my version of the duel Jango and Obi-Wan have on the Kaminoan landing pad. Hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated

Alternate Scene for Ep. II --- Jango vs. Obi-Wan

Ã¢Â€ÂœDAD! LOOK!Ã¢Â€Â Boba shouted from the loading ramp of Slave I.

Turning quickly from the crate he was about to load, Jango Fett locked onto the Jedi. Ã¢Â€ÂœBoba, get on board!Ã¢Â€Â he yelled as he slowly got to his feet.

The Jedi had his lightsaber in hand, but had not yet ignited it. Ã¢Â€ÂœJango Fett!Ã¢Â€Â yelled the Master Jedi over the falling rain and occasional crack of thunder. Ã¢Â€ÂœIn the name of the Republic, you are ordered to come before the Jedi Council and submit to questioning!Ã¢Â€Â

Stepping away from the crate, Jango held his hands low just over the grips of his WESTAR blasters. Ã¢Â€ÂœI submitted myself to the Jedi once before. It will NEVER happen again!Ã¢Â€Â In a flash, JangoÃ¢Â€Â™s blasters were drawn and leveled on the Jedi, red energy bolts blazing from the barrels.

Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s Jedi reflexes didnÃ¢Â€Â™t fail him, and he rolled forward, dodging the first bolts. As he came to his feet, his blue saber sprang to life and began blocking the incoming bolts as he charged.

Jango paced his shots, careful not to send too many just yet as the gauged the Jedi and his abilities. As the Jedi neared, Jango launched himself into the air with his jet-pack and flew backwards, firing his blasters as he went. Turning away from the Jedi, he flew to one of the platformÃ¢Â€Â™s spires and grabbed onto is, using his enhanced strength and the low-gravity magnetic settings in his suit to hold onto the protruding objectÃ¢Â€Â™s side. Getting into position, Jango launched his pack-mounted High-Explosive rocket.

Shielding himself in the Force, Obi-Wan was launched backward by the blast. Landing hard on the stainless surface of the Kaminoan landing platform, he quickly rolled as a barrage of blaster fire cut across the padÃ¢Â€Â™s surface.

Landing between the Jedi and Slave I, Jango leveled his blasters and fired at the disoriented Jedi.

Desperately blocking bolts, Obi-Wan uses the Force to launch the crate Jango had been about to load at itÃ¢Â€Â™s owner.

Caught off guard, Jango is only partially able to deflect the object and is knocked from his feet and lands with an armored THUD. Trying to get back to his feet, the Jedi tackles him, knocking the MandalorianÃ¢Â€Â™s blasters from his hands. A gauntlet to the face of the Jedi knocks him off, and both leap to their feet.

Rushing in, Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s attacks are quick and hard. He catches the Mandalorian armored warrior with the heel of his thrusting right hand directly on the T-visor and then a hard jag in the stomach with his left.

As the Jedi stepped in to strike under opponentÃ¢Â€Â™s right arm, however, Jango moved into the attack and caught Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s arm under his own, locking it in place. Face to face with the enemy, Jango struck the Jedi hard with an armored head-butt. As the Jedi backed away stunned, Jango raised his arm defensively, a jagged blade extending along his left gauntlet. Ã¢Â€ÂœI lied when I said itÃ¢Â€Â™s always a pleasure to meet a JediÃ¢Â€Â¦Ã¢Â€Â¦.the pleasure is in the GOODBYEÃ¢Â€Â said Jango as he attacked.

As the Mando moved in, Obi-Wan dodged the attackers swings, then summoned his fallen lightsaber with the Force. As the blue blade sprang to life, Obi-Wan lunged it just over JangoÃ¢Â€Â™s head, ready to bring it down at the slightest motion. Ã¢Â€ÂœNot goodbye yet Jango, youÃ¢Â€Â™re coming withÃ¢Â€Â¦..Ã¢Â€Â Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s words were cut off by a blaster shot.

Standing on the loading ramp of Slave I, Boba had his most recent birthday gift clutched in his hands: a new, unmodified EE-3 blaster carbine.

Only Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s Force Sense allowed him to deflect the shot with his lightsaber, but this moved opened him to attack from Jango.

With a thrash from his gauntlet blades, Jango ripped a wound into Obi-WanÃ¢Â€Â™s left arm, sending the Jedi reeling. Retrieving his blasters, father and son opened fire on the Jedi. Against their combined fire, Obi-Wan used every bit of his concentration to deflect and dodge the blaster rounds, and didnÃ¢Â€Â™t notice the ledge he was approachingÃ¢Â€Â¦.

Backing into the low rail, Obi-Wan fell backward and plunged below.

Racing up to the edge, Jando looked down and could seen nothing but the angry sea below. Holstering his blasters, he walked back to Boba. Placing a loving hand on his sonÃ¢Â€Â™s shoulder, the stepped aboard Slave I and prepared to take off.

Hearing the starshipÃ¢Â€Â™s engines, Obi-Wan reached up from the lip under the platform heÃ¢Â€Â™s been hanging from and pulled himself up. Reaching into his robe, he pulled a magnetic tracking device and hurled it at the departing craft. Craddling his arm in pain, the headed back to his ship to begin the pursuitÃ¢Â€Â¦..

So thatÃ¢Â€Â™s my idea for it. Any thoughts?

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Thanks Darlin'

I was looking at that scene in the novelized version of Ep. II written by R.A. Salvatore after I did mine. His *I think he's a he* is probably better; his lightsaber and jedi talk are better then mine, though not something beond my learning; I havn't really writen for Jedi/Sith in the past at all.

I was surprised to see he took some creative liberty with the scene to; it's a lot better then the movie version. I thought he was just adding behind the scenes bits; but he changed some of the filmed scenes to.

I still think mine's comparable to his though. He has more written for the fight scene, but to be honest I had a hard time following him. Some of the move's he was describing were good, but others sounded twisted or imposable; like he was just throwing words in there. Maybe I'm just slow and couldn't visualize it.

Anybody else read it? If so, how does mine compare?

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Here's a little something I came up with. As it's a poem, I'll also post it in Si's thread. Hope you enjoy!

Into the Light Ã¢Â€Â“ A MandalorianÃ¢Â€Â™s Fate

Into the light,Under my proud FatherÃ¢Â€Â™s eyes,From my loving MotherÃ¢Â€Â™s womb,I pass into the light of life

Into the light,Of childhoodÃ¢Â€Â™s first trials,Out of my MotherÃ¢Â€Â™s care and into my FatherÃ¢Â€Â™s protection,Past are my toys and carefree existence,New is my blaster and fresh is my first kill,Down the path of manhood I begin

Into the light,Of my armorÃ¢Â€Â™s heavy embrace,My brothers cheer and my sergeants salute as the title Mandalorian becomes mine,Clad in armor forged of ore from MandaloreÃ¢Â€Â™s heart,The newest Mandalorian am I

Into the light, Of the strange thing that is love,My heart burns, yet it pains me not,Never have I felt what I feel for her,My soul flies high, yet I stand beside herInto the warmth of love I enter

Into the light,Of my first battleÃ¢Â€Â™s furry,Many souls does my Basilisk claim as I descend into the glory that is war,My FatherÃ¢Â€Â™s lessons are clear and my aim is true,Into the light of victory I march

Into the light,Of failureÃ¢Â€Â™s stark chill,Our wounded scream and my fallen brothers are mourned,The battle is lost, and my soul is cold,My first defeat is bitter indeed

Into the light, Of warÃ¢Â€Â™s familiar pitch,My battles are many, as are my scars, but I am still alive,The blood of thousands is on my hands, and worlds fear my approach,A Mandalorian Crusader am I

Into the light,Of my bodyÃ¢Â€Â™s final breaths,My strength is gone, and my eyes grow dim,The grip of my son is firm, his gloved hand in mine,A tear in his eye, he whispers to me,

Pass now, into the light my Father,Your battles are many, and your Honor is great,March now to the place far away,And wait for me at GloryÃ¢Â€Â™s gate

"You set a code to live by. I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."