'WSJ' Nutbags: "We're All Gonna Die!"

The Wall Street Journal's Editorial Page has long been known for its sheer batshit lunacy, but Paul Gigot must have set the bar extra high today, because the paper prints what may very well be the craziest screed ever to grace the page (and we're talking about a place where Robert Bartley had a regular column!). Middle East scholar Bernard Lewis, discussing the volatile situation in that region, delivers a chilling prophecy. In order not to frighten any children who may be reading, we've placed it after the jump.

In Islam, as in Judaism and Christianity, there are certain beliefs concerning the cosmic struggle at the end of time — Gog and Magog, anti-Christ, Armageddon, and for Shiite Muslims, the long awaited return of the Hidden Imam, ending in the final victory of the forces of good over evil, however these may be defined. Mr. Ahmadinejad and his followers clearly believe that this time is now, and that the terminal struggle has already begun and is indeed well advanced. It may even have a date, indicated by several references by the Iranian president to giving his final answer to the U.S. about nuclear development by Aug. 22. This was at first reported as "by the end of August," but Mr. Ahmadinejad's statement was more precise.

What is the significance of Aug. 22? This year, Aug. 22 corresponds, in the Islamic calendar, to the 27th day of the month of Rajab of the year 1427. This, by tradition, is the night when many Muslims commemorate the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq, first to "the farthest mosque," usually identified with Jerusalem, and then to heaven and back (c.f., Koran XVII.1). This might well be deemed an appropriate date for the apocalyptic ending of Israel and if necessary of the world. It is far from certain that Mr. Ahmadinejad plans any such cataclysmic events precisely for Aug. 22. But it would be wise to bear the possibility in mind.

Okay, we'll grant that this August 22 corresponding to the 27th day of the month of Rajab of the year 1427 is pretty freaky; who knew? But, come on, are they fucking kidding with this shit? What's next, numerology? A Nostradamus column?

We miss the days when everything was the fault of Bill Clinton's cock.

August 22 [WSJ]

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I have been bearing "the possibility" in mind since I first read about it in Human Events Online before realizing the guy who wrote it runs a psychotic right-wing website and writes for Frontpage magazine.

Turns out, this meme was fed to the radical right by Farid Ghadry, the Syrian version of Ahmed Chalabi. Ghadry supposedly believes Bush's Middle East doctrine will lead to the "democratization" of Syria — leaving him at the helm. Ghadry has identified himself as a friend of Michael Ledeen, the architect of the Bush administration's regime-change policy, which is now focused specifically on Iran. Ledeen himself has issued similiar bunk prophecies of his own, stating in 2003 that Iran would achieve nuclear capability on another significant date in the Islamic calendar.

Rajab is actually Aug. 21 this year, but I guess to Gigot whatever factual adjustments he makes to fit his fucked-up world view is good enough for gov-ment work.

Also, Rajab is pretty widely considered to be a day of peace for Sunni and Shiah alike. To give it an apocalyptic bend would be like saying Christmas Eve is about celebrating the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

But then again I s'pose nobody ever accused the blue-suited, supply-side idiot neo-cons of knowing anything about Islam.

Weird. Reports of christian apocalyptic beliefs are usually portrayed here as the delusional rantings of would be theocrats out to bring fascism to the USA. On the other hand, reports of apocalyptic lunacy from Iran are handled as the rantings of crazy reporters and treated with satyric amusement. Not very evenhanded but hey, that's just the built-in bias of the teenagers running Gawker.

At least I know that the Gawker dudes hate both the WSJ and the NYT about the same.