Tube Tops

“The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency” is more than just another TV crime drama. For one, it’s set in Botswana. For another, the pilot was Anthony Minghella’s last work as a director. 8 P.M. on HBO.

Monday March 30th

Is a show called “My Holiday Hostage Hell” really something that should be featured on the Travel Channel?…Apparently, yes. 8 P.M. on the Travel Channel.

Tuesday March 31st

“Osbournes: Reloaded,” in which the family reunites for a special featuring pranks and performances, will probably be more enjoyable if you do a little self-loading of your own before watching. 9:20 P.M. on Fox.

Wednesday April 1st

Like many another American series adapted from British TV, “Life on Mars” never really took off over here. I had hopes for it. I had seen the British version, and while the concept was interesting, I was always kind of wishing it was set in America, just so I could relish in the “Oh, I remember that from the 70s!” angle a little more. I have no idea what England was like in the 70s. Was it different than it is now? (HA! I kid. England is great.)

Alas, the American version has been canceled, and tonight is the series finale. Tune in to see if Sam’s time-traveling is explained, if those tiny little robot things are explained, and if Lisa Bonet shows up again. Maybe to explain things. 10 P.M. on ABC.

Thursday April 2nd

“ER”‘s long goodbye begins with a retrospective special, and ends with a two-hour finale. 8 P.M. on NBC.

Friday April 3rd

Does anyone watch “The Dog Whisperer” anymore? Doesn’t it seem like two years ago, everyone was talking about Cesar Millan, and saying “TSST!!!” to their dogs? I mean, I know I was, and I don’t even own a dog. He even got Oprah’s blessing, appearing on her show more than once. But then Oprah got a new dog trainer, and that was it for Cesar. But! He’s still on the air. With new shows, even. And even if you disagree with his methods, it can still be fun to watch, if only for the constant hope that a dog will just turn around and piss on little Cesar’s leg. 9 P.M. on the National Geographic Channel.

Saturday April 4th

Take the Money and Run remains one of Woody Allen’s funniest (and earliest) movies. And it was filmed right here in San Francisco! You can see several locations in the film’s opening, including Mission street (where Virgil plays the cello with a marching band), and South of Market (where said cello gets smashed by thugs.) Check it out below.