According to Nik Richie, who broke the bit of gossip about Ashton Kutcher supposedly having sex with Sara Leal in a San Diego Hard Rock Hotel suite's balcony hot tub on his sixth anniversary with wife Demi Moore, the previously unknown one-night stand-in "has been hiding out in a 3 million dollar compound in Pacific Beach popping Xanax like crazy from the stress and anxiety." But the same day that was posted on TheDirty.com, the UK's Daily Mail carried photographs of Leal "looking somber" in Newport Beach.

Perhaps this has to do with geography. Looking at a map from London, Pacific Beach and Newport Beach probably appear to be on top of one another, like Manchester and Liverpool look to us here.

A Diamond Suite in the rough.

But you'd think the photographer who snapped the photos here of the 23-year-old sour puss would have known which town she was reportedly running errands in. The shooter got so close that Leal put her hand up to cover her face at one point. Welcome to showbiz, wannabe starlet!

Her place on the gossip radar was secured with her apparent revelation via social media that she boned the new Two and a Half Men star in the early morning hours of Sept. 24, while 48-year-old Moore was in New York City promoting a short film she promoted as part of Lifetime's TV anthology, Five.

Kutcher had gone to San Diego to party with his former That '70s Show co-star Danny Masterson (or DJ Mom Jeans as he was known while spinning at an OC Weekly party two years ago). Among their stops was a VIP table at Fluxx nightclub, where a promoter now claims he brought over a collection of fine pretty young things who included Leal.

This is where Richie's reporting kicks in: four women are said to have accompanied Kutcher to his "Diamond Suite" at the Hard Rock. Two had left by the time the actor . . . ahem . . . retired with Leal. The other girl is said to have left around 6 a.m., and Kutcher supposedly summoned for a car for Leal shortly thereafter.

In one of Richie's later updates, he claims that a friend of Leal's asked the muckraker to lay off her because she "will not stop crying," is "severely depressed" and possibly suicidal. With tongue firmly planted in cheek like someone who first stumbled upon Leal exposing the tryst (followed by moves aimed at squeezing hush money out of the actor), Richie writes, "My thoughts and prayers go out to Sara Leal. I hope she gets through this tragic event in her life."

Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before "graduating" to OC Weekly in 1995 as the paper's first calendar editor. He has contributed as a freelance editor and writer to several publications and been the subject of or featured in several reports online, in print and on the radio and television. One of countless times he returned to his Costa Mesa, CA, home with a bounty of awards from a journalism competition, his wife told him to take out the trash.