A certain scene comes to mind when one thinks about being single on
Valentine’s Day. The young woman lies on her couch watching a rom-com,
eating Valentine’s chocolates she bought for herself and sobbing. "I'll
never find love," she cries miserably, "And I'm nothing without
it!" Right? Wrong! While relationships can provide much-needed
companionship, they can also be emotionally draining and time-consuming with
the wrong partner. But here's the deal: you don't need a partner to be happy!
Understanding the downsides of relationships, learning how to find support
elsewhere, and discovering how to be happy on your own will help you be
satisfied and self-assured without a partner.

While it’s true relationships can bring those involved much happiness,
if one is too eager to find a partner, the resulting relationship may be
strained and taxing. If the partners aren’t as suited for each other as they
originally thought, the best case scenario is a mutual decision to dissolve;
the worst is a long, dragged out string of awkward dates and uncomfortable
public displays of affection. In addition, relationships can be time-consuming,
which leaves partners with less time to build and maintain bonds with family
and friends. Partners are essentially sharing their life with someone else, and
too much privacy or too little communication can strain a relationship to the
point of breaking. Overall, relationships can be complicated and draining under
the wrong circumstances.

What many of those looking for partners don’t realize is
that almost all of the perks of relationships can also be enjoyed in
friendships, without many of the aforementioned disadvantages. Not only are
friendships necessary to fall back on when relationships fall through, they
also provide a vital support system that can outlast any relationship.
Additionally, friendship offers a chance to be depended upon. To be relied on
for support is the greatest honor that can be bestowed on a human, and the
greatest opportunity to grow. Friends can build self-confidence just as
partners can, close friendships provide the one-on-one support of relationships
that many crave, and throughout all of this each friend is a separate
individual and remains autonomous.

Those
searching for love have a complicated relationship with autonomy. The ones who
have it want to lose it, and the ones who have lost it covet it. The fact is
that in most scenarios, partners are essentially conjoined at the hip. No
decision can’t be made without the consent of both, and many choices will
affect both partners. However, once the couple has broken up and autonomy is
regained, loneliness and longing are common themes. But confidence in separation
is possible! It’s important to remember friends will always be there for
support, and any discontent should be discussed with them. Going out with
friends also help to ease heartache. But it’s also important to learn how to be
happy alone. Learning to entertain oneself is a difficult skill for many to
master, but the internet has made it easier than ever. However, it’s crucial to
make sure that the activities are productive and not a waste of time, and while
social media is a great tool for procrastination, it isn’t very worthwhile and
can sometimes add to feelings of loneliness. Books are an entertaining and
educational option. Alternatively, taking up a new hobby, such as cooking or
writing, will burn daylight while also being informational.

So what
scene would rationally describe a single woman on Valentine’s Day? The young
woman sits at a large table at a diner, surrounded by her other single friends.
They all joke and laugh, making fun of their exes while snacking on sliders and
fries. She feels so grateful to be single, avoiding all the disadvantages of
courtship while relishing in all the advantages with her amazing group of
friends. She loves making decisions on her own and has recently taken up rock
climbing, a new hobby that she wouldn’t have even tried had she been in a
relationship. “Who needs romance?” she asks her friends. “I have all the love I
need right here.” And they agree. Sounds alright to me.

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The Lime Green Giraffe is a by-girls for-girls online publication of the Girl Scouts of Greater Atlanta. We publish two annual issues in August and February in addition to more frequent coverage of special Girl Scout events. Our content focuses on Girls, Info, Reports, Activities, Fun, Friends, and Excitement.