In an effort to combat the rise in atheism amongst the worlds youths the Vatican has announced that it is going to be distributing a new version of the Bible geared towards the younger generation. Archbishop S. Macfarlane made the announcement this morning "We at the Vatican are greatly concerned for today's youth and their dangerous trip towards Atheism. After giving it considerable thought we came up with the idea of writing the Bible in a manner that would be attractive to the youth of this generation and what better way then gangsta." Although we were not able see a final version of what is being called "The Holy Bible - Gangsta Edition" we were given some samples of what to expect.

Could be a good idea (similar has been done here, i think-check back.
Instead of just 'translating' the texts, perhaps you could interpret the text instead, eg god is replaced with...
IMHO it is too long a piece for just a translation.

Permit me to rewrite this. As a former rapper (yes, really) and someone very familiar with rap language, I might pimp yo sub mad tight.

"In tha beginninz was this mad fly pimp, the G O D, and he all like creatin' shit cos he get down like that. And he be all like "Where the earth up in this bitch?" and bada boom the earth is like poppin' out the formless void. But it's hella dark, like darker than Akon's ass cheeks, so god be sayin' "Yo is there some light in the house?" and it it gets lighter than that Drake creampuff. And then god be sayin' "Let there be Biggie." And then on the seventh day he smoked out."

And yo, on the real, that chicken and cornbread ish be borderline racist son. Move on with that shit.

I think it's a decent idea but I've got a nagging feeling that I've seen it before somewhere, can't think where though.

Good work from Textbook on the re-write.

And Lou - glad to see you haven't been put off by the less than warm welcome your first effort was met with. Was a bit surprised by that, people are usually a bit more friendly here, subs that don't quite hit the mark tend to be ignored rather than abused.

This is a good idea, and doesn't ring any bells. The headline is funny, just needs a bit more structure to the body of text. And it needs a killer ending, too. Just can't think of one at the moment. Doesn't rap music occasionally ask people to 'Testify'? I'm not certain: I normally prefer to listen to background radiation.

Lou, you give the word and I will rewrite in a new thread like happened to my Angry Kurds submission. I'll do a better job than you. That's *not* meant as a slam, I just know the lingo/culture better. You will get first credit.

But I would. I didn't moan about Qoxiivi claiming he could rewrite my Angry Kurds sub better than I. I let him try and he did do it better than me.

As endlessly iterated during the Battlestar Galactica fiasco, Lou hasn't quite got the ropes of writing yet. So why not let a seasoned vet like me who has, I believe, FOUR, count them, FOUR front pages on an unpaid comedy writing site to his name, and who, judging by the ignorance of the chicken and cornbread crack, is also better equipped to handle the subject, step in and lend a hand?

I just read the sub again and I gotta give Lou some advice- watch it with the black folks because that wasn't even gangster talk, that was watermelon time and you gon' get yourself in pain if you know any black people but can't tell the difference.

Speaking as a writer who has SEVERAL, count them, SEVERAL, subs that have sank without trace, and on reflection been a bit shit, I think Textbook's effort above showed that he is more than qualified to improve this with authentic sounding gangsta lingo. An' shit.

There's nothing wrong with letting other people help improve your subs. If you don't like a suggestion for an addition to a sub just pretend you haven't seen it for 6 hours, then say "sorry, I would have included that but the edit window is shut now".

Anybody that wants to rewrite go right ahead! And to be completely honest I did not write the Translation. It was done by an online translator http://www.joel.net/EBONICS/Translator . It was playing around with this translator that gave me the idea.