Mullet Over
Nucular to some folks

By James K. White | July 8, 2009

If you have a hobby of collecting sparkling jewelry, I have news that may cause disappointment. The brooch owned by the wife of Napoleon III was recently sold. The Louvre purchased the diamond laden bling for $10.5 million. I wish you better luck next time.

The Blue Ridge Parkway (North Carolina & Virginia) is the most visited site in our National Park System.

Did you ever have to read Animal Farm or 1984? I certainly had those books assigned. Little did I know that George Orwell’s original name was Eric Arthur (not Author) Blair. The erudite amongst you might like to be informed that Voltaire’s birth name was Francois Marie Arouet.

It was different when Voltaire was alive: France now has at least 350 nuclear (nucular to some folks) weapons.

People are getting stronger and faster (but not necessarily smarter). I offer in evidence that the time for the gold medal run in the 110 meter high hurdles at the 1896 Olympics was 17.6 seconds (Thomas Curtis). The winning time for the same event in the 2004 Olympics was 12.91 seconds (Liu Xiang).

John L. Sullivan was a boxing legend. He was World Heavyweight Champion from 1882-1892. He fought in an era when the sport was especially brutal. The bouts often lasted more than 20 rounds and the combatants did not wear gloves.

King George III was the ruler of England during the American Revolution. You may have read that many believed the monarch to be simple minded or insane. What you might not have realized is that George III ruled Great Britain for 59 years (1760 - 1820). Some medical scholars believe that his mental illness was likely caused by a blood disorder (porphyria).

The planet Earth is the densest planet in the solar system. The least dense is Saturn. We shall not discuss the identity of our densest president.

Jay Berwanger (you remember Jay) won the very first Heisman Trophy. That was back in 1935.

Do you have plans to create the longest hot dog ever? If so, you will have to beat the effort put forth by the Japanese when they made one that was just over 197 feet in length. I wonder where they got the weenie – and the bun.

Well, you can always visit the Louvre if you simply must view Empress Eugenie’s (her name, really) brooch and – I hope you have a splendid week.

More from the grandchildren

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

Sunday, July 12:
• Community Second Sunday. 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. As a thank you to the community for its support, Heard Museum North Scottsdale offers free admission on the second Sunday of every month. 32633 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale. For info call 480-488-9817 or visit www.heard.org.