Newspaper satire for the Bass Lake area.

Sister City bait shop opens

With little fanfare, Bass Lake’s newest bait and tackle store is now open for business.

Beijing Bait & Tackle opened sometime last week, seemingly under cover of darkness. The only way anyone knew the Bass Lake Sister City establishment was accepting customers was the line out the door and around what constitutes a block in these parts.

The store, part of an ongoing cultural exchange between Beijing China’s People’s Public Relations Force, Sister City Division and Bass Lake’s We Welcome Foreigners Committee, is the first of many planned business partnerships, according to spokespeople familiar with the plans.

Mayor Guy Soundguy, in a statement translated from English to Mandarin then back to English, said the exchange “will strengthen the relationship between Bass Lake and Chinese anglers, many of who already fish these waters.”

Johnny Wen, the proprietor of Beijing Bait & Tackle, said the secret opening was not part of some traditional practice but rather just fit with his schedule.

“It’s the only time I could find to do it,” Wen said. “Besides, it was 2 p.m. back home, so what the hey? Wanna buy some bee moths? Three for a buck.”

The new store hours of operation will follow a complicated schedule involving large mouth bass spawning tables. A complete schedule can be obtained, we are told.