Don't have a Valentine? AWESOME, ME NEITHER.

Let's just buy super-cute stuff for OURSELVES! If you're proudly rockin' singledom this V-day, you won't have to waste money on gifts for your sweetheart—and that means you'll have tons of cash to, in the words of the short, great, velvet-cashmere candy-cane Tom Haverford, TREAT YO' SELF. Here's a slideshow of one billion adorable things you should probably get, because you definitely deserve them.

PS. I LOVE YOU.

PPS. As you may or may not know, the blizzard of the century is currently happening right outside my office, so I must finish this slideshow in less than 10 minutes or risk getting trapped here for the weekend, forced to survive on toilet paper and Hostess cupcakes stolen from Josh Perilo's stash. I DON'T WANT TO EAT TOILET PAPER, SPARKLERS, SO LET'S GET THIS THING DONE. THE 10-MINUTE COUNTDOWN STARTS...NOW.

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About the Author

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)