When my mother needed home care I opted to do it for the afternoons on top of my two other jobs. She was only 51 and cancer was moving rapidly thro her body. I was working a night shift, going to another job for mornings, then to my mother's. My father was able to put off going to work until my arrival. Watching my mother succumb to this insidious disease plus a great lack of sleep was taking it's toll on me. Somehow I'd find time on a Sunday (only day off) to head out for a quiet ride. I needed to be alone, well, just me and my horse. Somehow by the end of the ride I felt rejuvenated and ready to tackle the next week. This went on for 3 mos until her passing. The quiet times with my mare was the glue that held me together.

Of course being outdoors and riding is a healthy pastime. However, not sure if this is healthy....but digging 47 fencepost holes by hand sure worked wonders for my "girl guns". Also running outside first thing in the morning to feed the horses is a healthy way to start the day.

I have I guess would be mild depression horses are what keep me feeling okay. Knowing my horse needs me every day two or three times a day gives me a reason to keep going. Truthfully I didn't even realize it until my first horse died and for six months I didn't want to get up in the morning and that wasn't me I even quit working. When I got my mare it was easy again to get up, and I have a new full time job that I enjoy.

Having a horse at home also has the benefits of having a lot of physical activity every day too.

Of course being outdoors and riding is a healthy pastime. However, not sure if this is healthy....but digging 47 fencepost holes by hand sure worked wonders for my "girl guns". Also running outside first thing in the morning to feed the horses is a healthy way to start the day.

Well put! I do a huge amount of hiking which is excellent excersice, but it had been years since I worked directly in horse stables and the heavy labor involved. When we built a shed and fencing this summer and brought my mare home, the daily hard gruntwork sure has my arms in great shape! So true, Waresbear - what a 'healthy way to start the day'! This crisp, cold morning I stood next to my horse after feeding and watched a brilliant sunrise as well....physical and spiritual bliss.

Thanks Northernstar, it is a major factor in why I want to keep my horse at home. Plus I love horses so much because I was injured when I was really young (3 or 4 years old), it left me with arthritis in my hips, knees, and ankles (from best to worst), horses give me that freedom when I ride that my own legs can't give me. I can't dance, skate, jump and about the same why someone else my age, but on a horse they give me the ability to dance and jump in a different way, to feel gracefully when my feet trip me. I always figured that must be what someone what has a physical disability feels, to feel normal some how, to fly without wings in away.

Exactly, Cruiser! I normally can't ran nor fast, nor far, I can't dance because of a heart and the leg condition, I shouldn't jump high, etc., but horses give me every single thing that I'd otherwise miss, and tenfold!

I have come a long way, to surrender my shadow to the shadow of my horse./James Wright/

my life has been horses since age 6. They have helped thru so so so much but here are a few of the most memorable times.. Very sad!

June 26, 2004:
I'm at the Duncan Oklahoma lions club rodeo getting my horse (Chocolate: RIP) ready to barrel race. We were doing great, hugging the barrels, my foot dragging the dirt bc she's leaning so far in (she was 16.2hh) we circled the last barrel only for me to see my grandfather standing in the very middle of the arena (supernatural yes, please do not criticize if you do not believe in this type of stuff) grandpa was in Wichita falls, Texas in hospice care at the time. It seemed like time stopped and seemed as though me and chocolate stopped too, we kept galloping, normally I'd be around her neck giving her a hug before shed even slow to a trot. We ran all the way to the opposite end of the fairgrounds to our trailer, I got the phone from my dad (I was already in tear, I knew what mom was going to say) she said what I feared, my grandpa went at the very time I was in the arena..... He wanted me to run, oddly enough I dedicated that run to him and we came in 1st overall for 3 nights.... He was an amazing man whom I loved very much, he passed due to cancer only 2 weeks after diagnosed.... Had it not been for Chocolate, I would've never been able to get thru that.... When she passed (January 7, 2007) I was crushed...

2011:
I was pregnant, living from place to place and sometimes in my truck due to my baby's father being very abusive to me and hitting me and his 2 children, my horses slowly being sold off to pay boarding fees at a friends place. I finally was able to move back in with my mom and got to keep 1 dog (my service dog, Jose) and the 2 horses I had left which we moved to another friends place. Little did I know what was about to happen, it was life-changing more so than having a baby.... I finally get my little girl AND THERE'S TWINS! Both girls, they were so beautiful on the ultrasounds and I couldn't pick out enough cute little clothes blankets sheets etc. For them.. At 11pm May 21, 2011 I began bleeding, at 2am May 22, 2011 I head to the hospital after having preeclampsia I was so scared.. I was admitted, at 7am my water breaks, 10am epidural in, 30 minutes later fully in effect it was NO help with contractions, at 11:30am I was screaming for them to do a c-section, the Dr refused.... He changed his mind when he check my cervix only to find one of my babies was stuck, they sedated me and wheeled me to surgery... I was never shown nor told about the twin, I got to see baby Faith but never held her nor kissed her. On May 23, 2011 at less than 24 hours old, I'm talking with her Dr that she was taken to at another hospital due to respiratory problems and as I am talking with her Dr she crashed, I could hear it all but could not comfort my child yet she was dying. My mom and step-dad rushed there and held her while she was taken off machines and as the drs slowly let her "go". I knew I could not care for my horses in my condition as I had a severe infection in the incision that burst June 3, 2011 the day before my baby's funeral... I decided my grey mare was happier where she was at, the lady loved her so much so I gave my prized mare to her. Once healed, I got a cute bay gelding that didn't work out too good I sold him to a good family that cares very much for him. I then found out (on thanksgiving) that my black gelding has fallen in love with the lady's little boy who is deaf.. Being hard enough to do this, this horse was also the last thing my grandpa gave to me, that little boy needed him more than I did so I gave him "Nippy" for Christmas. I had purchased another horse, hoped for a better results, a 5 year old paint gelding called chief, still very green but VERY sweet! I fell in love and purchased him on the spot with only riding him maybe 5 minutes (not too smart I know) I got him home December 10,2011 and that night he was stolen from me. I got him back December 17, 2011. My Christmas wish had been answered to get my horse back. This horse has helped me so much during my recovery, mental and physical, from my baby's death and her twin nowhere to be found.... I love this horse so much, I think more than he knows. Whenever I need a shoulder to cry on, he is there with his big fuzzy shoulder to hold me up or to saddle and ride to get my mind off things. I LOVE YOU CHIEF!!!

"A horse can lend its rider the speed and strength he or she lacks, but the rider who is wise remembers it is no more than a loan." ~Pam Brown

my life has been horses since age 6. They have helped thru so so so much but here are a few of the most memorable times.. Very sad!

June 26, 2004:
I'm at the Duncan Oklahoma lions club rodeo getting my horse (Chocolate: RIP) ready to barrel race. We were doing great, hugging the barrels, my foot dragging the dirt bc she's leaning so far in (she was 16.2hh) we circled the last barrel only for me to see my grandfather standing in the very middle of the arena (supernatural yes, please do not criticize if you do not believe in this type of stuff) grandpa was in Wichita falls, Texas in hospice care at the time. It seemed like time stopped and seemed as though me and chocolate stopped too, we kept galloping, normally I'd be around her neck giving her a hug before shed even slow to a trot. We ran all the way to the opposite end of the fairgrounds to our trailer, I got the phone from my dad (I was already in tear, I knew what mom was going to say) she said what I feared, my grandpa went at the very time I was in the arena..... He wanted me to run, oddly enough I dedicated that run to him and we came in 1st overall for 3 nights.... He was an amazing man whom I loved very much, he passed due to cancer only 2 weeks after diagnosed.... Had it not been for Chocolate, I would've never been able to get thru that.... When she passed (January 7, 2007) I was crushed...

2011:
I was pregnant, living from place to place and sometimes in my truck due to my baby's father being very abusive to me and hitting me and his 2 children, my horses slowly being sold off to pay boarding fees at a friends place. I finally was able to move back in with my mom and got to keep 1 dog (my service dog, Jose) and the 2 horses I had left which we moved to another friends place. Little did I know what was about to happen, it was life-changing more so than having a baby.... I finally get my little girl AND THERE'S TWINS! Both girls, they were so beautiful on the ultrasounds and I couldn't pick out enough cute little clothes blankets sheets etc. For them.. At 11pm May 21, 2011 I began bleeding, at 2am May 22, 2011 I head to the hospital after having preeclampsia I was so scared.. I was admitted, at 7am my water breaks, 10am epidural in, 30 minutes later fully in effect it was NO help with contractions, at 11:30am I was screaming for them to do a c-section, the Dr refused.... He changed his mind when he check my cervix only to find one of my babies was stuck, they sedated me and wheeled me to surgery... I was never shown nor told about the twin, I got to see baby Faith but never held her nor kissed her. On May 23, 2011 at less than 24 hours old, I'm talking with her Dr that she was taken to at another hospital due to respiratory problems and as I am talking with her Dr she crashed, I could hear it all but could not comfort my child yet she was dying. My mom and step-dad rushed there and held her while she was taken off machines and as the drs slowly let her "go". I knew I could not care for my horses in my condition as I had a severe infection in the incision that burst June 3, 2011 the day before my baby's funeral... I decided my grey mare was happier where she was at, the lady loved her so much so I gave my prized mare to her. Once healed, I got a cute bay gelding that didn't work out too good I sold him to a good family that cares very much for him. I then found out (on thanksgiving) that my black gelding has fallen in love with the lady's little boy who is deaf.. Being hard enough to do this, this horse was also the last thing my grandpa gave to me, that little boy needed him more than I did so I gave him "Nippy" for Christmas. I had purchased another horse, hoped for a better results, a 5 year old paint gelding called chief, still very green but VERY sweet! I fell in love and purchased him on the spot with only riding him maybe 5 minutes (not too smart I know) I got him home December 10,2011 and that night he was stolen from me. I got him back December 17, 2011. My Christmas wish had been answered to get my horse back. This horse has helped me so much during my recovery, mental and physical, from my baby's death and her twin nowhere to be found.... I love this horse so much, I think more than he knows. Whenever I need a shoulder to cry on, he is there with his big fuzzy shoulder to hold me up or to saddle and ride to get my mind off things. I LOVE YOU CHIEF!!!

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