EXCUSES BREED FAILURE

EXCUSES BREED FAILUREStephen Forrester was born during the “baby boom” period after the Second World War. Raisedin the Mississippi Delta during the 1950’s, he grew up poor. But, the young man had a gift. Hewas a natural athlete who particularly excelled at baseball. He was so good that he earned ascholarship to play college baseball.His baseball career shined bright for three years. During his fourth, he was preparing himself forthe Major Leagues. The shortstop was having his best year until the 1970 game against Alabamawhen he broke his right leg sliding into 2 nd base in an unconventional manner.His baseball career was over. He was devastated. For the rest of his life, Stephen would blamethe Tide 2 nd baseman for ruining his career.As he grew older, he married a wealthy socialite from Oxford, Mississippi. They settled down ina large home near the Ole Miss campus. They had two boys and life appeared to normalize.However, during the course of the marriage, Stephen’s problems grew on all fronts. He used hiswife’s money to start businesses that would always fail, mistreated his children, and eventuallybecame a thief.Yet, in every circumstance, Stephen would create an excuse, blame other people, or other things.He also refused to apologize to anyone he had harmed.Finally, his emotionally abused wife had enough. In 1985, she divorced him and moved toNashville with the children. The children slowly lost respect for their father and eventuallyrefused to speak to him. Surprisingly, he did not care.Why? Because the strong athlete defined the essence of cowardice. He refused to “man up”when he was wrong. His divorce, broken leg, business failures, thefts, estrangement from hischildren, and all other things that “happened to him” were always someone else’s fault.In 2015, Stephen died penniless with no friends, family, or even a funeral.The tragedy of Stephen Forrester is an extreme example. I can count on one hand the number ofpeople like Stephen. But, his story illustrates how excuses breed failure.Everyone has experienced failure and have hurt other people. When this happens, there are threeactions that can be taken; (1) We can ask ourselves, “What could I have done differently?” (2)We can convince ourselves that it wasn’t our fault, and (3) we can apologize or refuse to do sowhen we have harmed another person.If we choose to blame others and/or refuse to “man up” when we are wrong, God and science saywe will suffer defeat.

God wants us to accept responsibility for failure and to commit to improvement. He also wantsus to make amends to those we have wronged. We cannot do either with excuses.Two researchers who published their findings in The Journal of Psychology studied collegestudents’ bias towards taking responsibility for themselves or making fraudulent excuses. Theyfound that 72% of their test students admitted making fraudulent excuses. But, the interestingcorrelation they found was between fraudulent excuses and lower grade point average. The moreexcuses you make, the worse you’ll do in school. But why? Not enough research has been doneto draw a responsible conclusion. But, it seems that excuses are emotional responses.Making excuses has a damaging effect on how you behave in the future. An excuse is a way toexternalize your failures by placing the blame on others, inexperience, miscommunication, etc.Why do some people consistently do this? It makes them feel better.But, when people externalize failure, it also makes them feel like the outcomes of endeavors aretotally out of their control. When a person lacks control, it’s almost impossible to muster themotivation to possess work ethic which leads to poor performance. Under these circumstances,defeat is certain.The opposite approach is taking personal responsibility. While this requires humility andcourage, the person avoids true defeat, is respected, and will win.Researchers at The University of Missouri-Columbia recently studied the connection betweenthe resolve to make something happen and excuse making. They tested the excuses their subjectswould make (or not make) while completing tasks and how that lined up with their resolve toimprove. They found that those who made the fewest excuses were the most committed toimproving themselves.Taking responsibility leads to introspection and a level of control. A person can studyeverything that went wrong and become motivated to pursue a winning strategy, work harder,work smarter, make amends, and possess some control in overcoming a challenge.Had Stephen taken responsibility for just some of his defeats, he would have left his children aproud legacy. Instead, the only remaining legacy of the talented man is a pauper’s gravesomewhere in the Mississippi Delta. Jason W. Swindle, Sr.

The American Society of Legal Advocates, ASLA, is an invitation-only, nationwide organization of elite lawyers in practice today. ASLA draws its membership from lawyers who combine stellar legal credentials with a proven commitment to community engagement and the highest professional standards. The selection process is a culmination of a six month process in which ASLA independently researches information on tens of thousands of lawyers in filling each Top 100 category and ultimately selects lessthan 2 percent overall. There are no self nominations allowed in the process.

MARTINDALE-HUBBELL AV-RATED

The AV rating is the highest that an attorney can receive. Martindale-Hubbell attorneys ratings consist of a rigorous process of interviews involving peers, judges, and other credentials that an attorney may have.

To learn more about my Martindale rating, please visit my profile at lawyers.com.

TG Readers’ Choice Winner

I thank the people of Carroll County, my family, friends, and clients for their trust, loyalty, and confidence they have placed with my firm over the past decade. You have given me a great honor by choosing my firm as the “Best Law Firm” in Carroll County for 2014 & 2016. I am also grateful that God directed me into a profession where I can truly say that I look forward to going to work every day. Because of this love and devotion to my practice, I have committed to striving to provide the best criminal defense services to the people of west Georgia for many years to come.Jason W. Swindle Sr. – Swindle Law Group, P.C.