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Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was
always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened
to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to
his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he
went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat, the alarm in the
morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to
work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you
yesterday?"

The 70-year old groom and the 25-year old bride attracted raised eyebrow
attention as they checked into the resort hotel. Next morning at eight
sharp, the groom came into the dining room whistling a gay tune, sat down
at a table and ordered ham and eggs. The smile on his face and the twinkle
in his eye told everybody present that he was happy and confident.
Fifteen minutes later the young bride slowly trudged into the dining room
and seated herself across from her 70-year old. Her face was drawn and her
voice weak as she ordered toast and coffee.
The groom, now finished, excused himself and strolled into the lobby for
his morning cigar.
As the waitress approached with the bride's toast and coffee, she said,
"Honey, I don't understand it. Here you are a young bride with an old
husband, looking like you've encountered a buzz saw."
"That guy," said the bride, "double crossed me. He told me he saved up for
60 years and I thought he was talking about money!"