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Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Back in high school, I went through something of a Japanese
cinematic phase. And no, this was before I found the Critic; this was less
classy A-movies and more splatsticky B-movies. Specifically, those connected
with goremeister Yoshihiro Nishimura: Mutant Girls Squad, Vampire Girl vs.
Frankenstein Girl, Tokyo Gore Police, right up to the film that started it all
for me Robogeisha. It was around this time that I developed a liking for that
style of filmmaking, getting into Grindhouse shortly after. This is probably
where I also got my appreciation for the more insane films out there so, for
those who find reason to object to my defending of films like Yoga Hosers and
Zoolander 2, you can thank the land of the rising acidic breast milk for that.
So, when news hit of a new Godzilla film coming out with Nishimura himself
working on the effects, a particularly abnormal wave of nostalgia washed me
into my local cinema to check it out. I’m a bit rusty on recent language-other-than-English
cinema, so I don’t know how this will turn out. This is Shin Godzilla.

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Sci-fi is a genre with a long and proud history of being
enjoyed by losers stuck in their parents’ basements. As such, it has also
garnered a certain mockable reputation that, in recent years, has begun to
recede into just being another aspect of human life. For all the hate I have
for The Big Bang Theory, it is regrettably part of that assimilation process so
I have one thing to be thankful to it
for. While my brain tries to process me giving that piece of crap any credit, I
will conceit that all of this acceptance doesn’t change one simple fact: Sci-fi
is also incredibly goofy, even on a good day. As a result, riffing on films
within that spectrum is probably the easiest of any genre; hell, the entire
idea of riffing came about thanks to the kitschier titles of the 50’s and 60’s.
Now, making fun of silly science fiction is all well and good, but then we get
into feature-length spoof movies… and now the fear has set in. I say that
because the spoof movie died a rather loud and obnoxious death a while back thanks
to chuckleheads like Friedberg & Seltzer; people rarely make them anymore,
and the few we do see are outright garbage. So, will this micro-budgeted New
Zealand effort break the chain? Only one way to find out. This is This Giant
Papier Mache Boulder Is Actually Really Heavy… and yes, that is the full title.

The plot: Tom (Christian Nicolson), Gavin (Lewis Roscoe) and
Jeffrey (Daniel Pujol), while at a sci-fi convention, sit down to watch the
film Space Warriors In Space. However, they find themselves in a weird
situation when they are suddenly in
the movie, flying a spaceship and fighting off the evil regime of Lord Froth
(Joseph Wycoff). With the help of space ambassador Emmanor (Sez Niederer) and a
space scientist (Jarred Tito), they plan to a) stop the plans of Froth and b)
escape from this cheapily-made and nonsensical universe and back to their own.

It’s indie cast time again, and the results are actually a
lot more even than I would’ve expected. Nicolson was brought in as a
replacement actor early on, after the original pick for the lead left the
project, and he does an okay job as the sardonic and occasionally lecherous
lead. Roscoe mostly goes for the cynical route as well, save for one scene that
is kind of glorious to watch as a sci-fi fanboy myself, and he makes a good fit
next to Nicolson. Pujol might be overplaying the zealous fanboy for most of the
film, but credit to him in that he switches between his on-screen personas
quite well once the film-in-the-film starts affecting him. Wycoff, for as
surprisingly little screen time that he gets, chews through the economical sets
with remarkable ease. Niederer is alright as the romantic interest, in all the
various modes she ends up being used in, Tito is very funny as the rather
pitiful scientist (and equally pitiful camp stereotype later on), and Tansy
Hayden as Lord Froth’s henchwoman Fralligay does well considering the massive
teeth she’s been saddled with.

This transcends being simply a small-budgeted film and
actually kind of embodies the reason for why these kind of production values
exist: Because some people literally can’t do any better, same mentality behind
the same old-school B-movies that this film spends so much time making fun of.
As a result, the premise ends up rationalizing the visuals, not the other way
around as is usually the case, which can feel a tad cynical even for a film
built on modern-age cynicism. However, credit where it’s certainly due in that
not only does it actually reach the point of being a stylistic aesthetic but also
how there’s some odd creativity put into said stylistic choices. This is once
again something that the better sci-fi franchises are known best for, like how
a plunger and kitchen whisk could be turned into weapons for armoured space
Nazis with the Daleks on Doctor Who, and something that this film has wholly
embraced. From vibra-knives that look like marital aids to water lizards and rabbits projected at giant sizes to make do for giant monsters, right down to
the string-held galaxy of planets, it has that level of consistency and
dedication where, for as cheaply-made as this universe is, it actually is a universe onto itself. For those
playing the home game, that means that this film’s reality has more internal
consistency and logic than a lot of those found in mainstream films, up to and
including the Divergent series.

Since we’re talking about what is essentially a spoof movie,
might as well get into the ugly business that is this film’s sense of humour…
well, possibly ugly, at least. I say
that it is a very unrelenting kind of humour where there is room for pretty
much nothing else but the laughs. This can end rather badly, namely because it
could induce a feeling of burnout from the audience. And make no mistake, this
is a gag film in its purest form, where the plot doesn’t so much take the back
seat as it does ride in the open car boot while the driver is going Warp 9. And
for once, I don’t really have much to complain about. I mean, for a film all
about the gags, it actually has a very high success rate with its jokes. Not
only that, this covers the spectrum for jokes as well, right down to
blink-and-you’ll-miss-them sight gags that I always love seeing in movies.
Hell, considering the director’s admitted approach to said sight gags, the DVD
version could very well have even more of them than the version I saw.

The reason why I lump this film in together with the spoof
movie sub-genre, as opposed to something like Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs, is
because of how it approaches the notion of riffing on sci-fi tropes. Namely,
with an ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ approach similar to Ed Glaser’s Press Start; actually, given the utensils used in the making of the various props, I
think the kitchen sink actually was
used at some point. Now, that all-out assault angle does at times result in the
fanboys getting caught in the crossfire, where they themselves are part of the
joke. I’ve made my case about audience shaming before, but in all honesty, the
realms of sci-fi fandom are where a lot of this ends up happening. I mean, for
every person who likes Neon Genesis Evangelion, there’s about a dozen others
willing to call that person a retard for having the audacity to have a taste
that differs from their own. In fairness to this film, though, none of the
hazing that the more sci-fi obsessed characters get feels too mean-spirited. Hell,
Gavin’s definitive scene shows better than anything else that this film has
nothing but love for the genre. A very cynical, humourous and near-encyclopaedic
love, given the slew of sci-fi classics both old and new that get name-dropped
and lampooned in the process, but love nonetheless.

All in all, a firmly tongue-in-cheek send-up of the golden
era of science fiction where the laughs are good and plentiful. It’s very much
a labour of love from all concerned, and that kind of dedication shines through
with its approach to tacky detail and wide breadth of painted targets within
both the fandom and the subject material. Honestly, this feels like the kind of
film I would make if I had the
wherewithal to do so. Once the DVD is officially released, I’m putting the link
right here because this is a film that sci-fi geeks will definitely get into
one way or another. That, and something this genuinely entertaining deserves to
have its filmmaker make the budget back which, believe it or not, Nicolson hasn’t
managed yet. It’s better than Eddie The Eagle, as the brand of infectious glee
found here taps into something a bit more specific and personal, making the
connection stronger. However, for as much as I laughed my arse off at this, I
still have to tip my hat to the trend-bucking and occasionally mindfragging
writing that went into Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates.

Monday, 24 October 2016

It may have taken over a year for it to happen, but I think
I’ve finally found a good thing to
come out of last year’s Fifty Shades Of Grey adaptation: It brought further
attention to another, far better film exploring S&M because we desperately
wanted an alternative. Specifically, 2002’s Secretary, a film that seriously
deserves getting some form of mainstream attention even if it’s through a tangential
connection to a rather weak offering. With a mixture of genuine understanding and
realistic characters, even considering the scope of their… actions, let’s say,
it managed to give a very reasonable, sympathetic and frequently funny
depiction of that type of lifestyle. It’s the kind of film that I personally
have all the respect for because it managed to show kindness to an area of
sexuality that, up until that point, had mainly been used for cheap jokes and
even cheaper exploitation (Body Of Evidence, anyone?). So, after making a film
about a famous photographer which also delved into certain elements of fringe
culture, writer/director Steven Shainberg has been quiet for the last ten
years. Then news hit of his latest film being released in Australia, in a sci-fi
film festival no less, and I made my way down to Randwick faster than most of
the horses that made the area famous. But is the trip worth it, cinematically
at least? This is Rupture.

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Sometimes, a film comes out where the filmmaker(s) and
subject matter match each other that well that you start to question why it’s
only now that such a connection was
made. On one hand, you have director Tim Burton, a man whom has made a career
out of telling stories of pale-skinned outsiders and giving them their rightful
place in the world. On the other, we have the modern YA adaptation sub-genre,
which has latched onto the public consciousness through teenaged empowerment
fantasies of going against the system that wronged them. Add to this
screenwriter Jane Goldman, whose work with Matthew Vaughn embodies that same
air of acknowledging and celebrating the abnormal, and you have probably the
most ideal combination of any film this year… in theory, at least. After all,
as much I like Burton, Goldman and some of the higher-profile YA adaptations (I
maintain that TheHungerGames is still an amazing film series), none of the
above are immune from being rubbish. Last year’s me may argue this point, but I
hadn’t yet seen Mars Attacks at that point; this year’s me knows that this guy
is capable of making crap. So, even with all the right pieces in place behind
the scenes, how does the final product look? This is Miss Peregrine’s Home For
Peculiar Children.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Even in the realms of cinematic remakes, this is a rather
unique ouroborosian situation. While you are quickly Googling that word, I’ll
get into why this is. Back when I looked at Slow West, I made brief mention of
the relationship between Japanese and Western cinema and here is where we crash
head-first into one of the first branches on that tree. Based on the Akira
Kurosawa classic Seven Samurai, the original Magnificent Seven is a seminal
staple of Old Hollywood and set in place an action blueprint of the rag-tag
team of characters that come together to fight a great foe that would be copied
verbatim for decades to follow. If you’ve ever watched A Bug’s Life, then you
have a pretty good idea of the formula. With that in mind, and the fact that
this is a reimagining of a remake of a definitive piece of cinema (all of which
has sprouted its own niches and sub-genres in their wake), this could prove a
tricky one. It is also, based solely on the trailer, one of the few films this
year that I have genuinely been anxious to see for myself. Time to dig in and
see how this holds up, considering this film has a lot that it needs to prove. This is The Magnificent Seven.

Thursday, 13 October 2016

After spending far longer than I was expecting to this year
complaining about movie marketing, I finally get to talk about the positives of movie marketing.
Specifically, what it is capable of telling studios. The oldest rule in the medium
of entertainment is to give the audience what they want, and what we spend our
money on confirms that this is a thing we like to see and wouldn’t mind seeing
again. It’s the cornerstone for the franchise-heavy filmmaking mindset that
Hollywood has made some comfy cash on in recent years (or decades, if we’re
being honest). I say all this because, with only a passing glimpse at this
film’s marketing, it is clear that the grease in the production’s gears is the
success of David Fincher’s Gone Girl from two years ago. People saw that film
in droves, both critics and casuals alike, and I myself would love to see more
of that kind of smart and intense thriller. I’ve admitted before to my own
fascination with trickery and games of wits, and no film of the last several
years did a better job in those two areas than Gone Girl. But that’s where the
association gets a little dangerous: This film wants to be seen as another Gone
Girl. But is it capable of fulfilling that role? Hell, removed from connections
to any other film, is it capable of fulfilling its role as a movie? This is The
Girl On The Train.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

I have no real opinion when it comes to the use of fossil
fuels. I understand that its current use is having certain hazardous effects on
the environment, but I also understand that alternative energy isn’t yet at the
point of replacing its ubiquity. I see it as a necessary evil for the time being more than anything
else, something aided by the fact that we as a species have a history of
decisions that have adversely affected the world around us, and the living
things that live on it; trust me, burning oil and coal is a serious step-up
compared to the other things we’ve historically burnt. Yeah, I’m just as
surprised as you are that my usual soap-boxing stances on social issues didn’t
quite translate on this one. So, as we get into today’s film, understand that
I’m going in without any real bias at all; a rarity in these parts, I know.
This is Deepwater Horizon.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

When I was a young-in and still naïve to the world around
me, I had some… interesting ideas about where babies came from. For some
reason, I was under the impression that when a couple is married, the wife’s
wedding ring sends a little UFO into the stomach which creates the baby. Feel
free to laugh at this in all its preciousness, because I honestly never
stopped. What I’m getting at with all this is that, because of my own
misconceptions about conception, recurring ideas like “storks deliver babies”
don’t seem as ludicrous to me as they
probably should. Not that I’m advocating lying to children or anything, but I
do understand not telling them the whole
truth when they’re too young to understand ideas like sex. I mean, hell, some
adults are still struggling to deal with sex in its many bizarre facets.
Considering all this, today’s film centred on probably the oldest wives’ tale
involving baby-making already gets the head-tilt seal of approval. Does it get
any other seals of approval? This is
Storks.

Monday, 3 October 2016

As a whole, 2016 has been a primarily emotional year for
cinema, more so than any of the last few. From the heavy fan reactions to
Ghostbusters and the DCcinematic canon, to the emphasis on pathos in some of
the higher-profile releases of the year, filmmakers have been aiming mostly at
the heart all year. Hell, just look at my current list of the year’s films that
I’ve seen: The top is populated with films that focus intently on traits associated with the best of humanity like family, courage and community (albeit rather sexual community), while the bottom is populated by trash
that exhibits the worst of humanity like sexism, racism and ableism. It is this
need for more emotionally potent, yet relevant, cinema that is pretty much my
only rationalization for why this film exists at this point in time. After last
year’s as-close-as-we’ll-ever-get-to-the-subject documentary Citizenfour, I
thought that details concerning the most infamous whistle-blower in recent memory would have been tapped out already. Then
again, we’re in Oscar season and these sorts of stories are prime material for
that brand of filmmaking, so it isn’t all too surprising that this exists,
especially considering who made it. So, on top of delivering as a film in its
own right, this biopic now has to prove its right to exist alongside a fairly
in-depth feature that’s not even two years old. This is Snowden.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not grateful for
the environments that I was raised in. A supportive family that I could literally
tell anything to, the right friends (mostly) who are willing to lend an ear if
I need to vent or vice versa, a country that’s a mongrel patchwork of pretty
much every civilization that has existed in the last two centuries; not gonna
lie, I lucked out in that regard. And in no other regard am I more thankful than when it comes to LGBT
issues. My own place within that spectrum is still being sorted out, mainly out
of trying to understand its various nuances to find my exact place within it
(if there even is one), but I grew up around people who were more than willing
to accept it. Hell, when I came out at my Year 12 formal (in response to a gay
joke, no less), there was a mixture of silence, giggles and relieving smiles
that showed me that there is a place for me in this world with that in mind.
However, there is a part of me that feels somewhat guilty of my own gratitude,
as I know for a fact that not everyone is as fortunate when it comes to what
people understand. Sheltered childhood for the win, I guess? Anyway, I bring
all this up to bring my own perspective to the forefront because… wow, this is
a bit of a tough one to dissect. This is Drown.