My daughter and I are going through a book together. I thought the book would stimulate some good conversation. After one sit down with the book, this daughter exclaimed, “That book requires a lot of thinking about thinking.” Yes, the topic is about recognizing the battles within our minds. Now her zeal is lessened because she knows this book is not just entertainment, it requires interaction. The same thing happens when children play. Children want entertainment, but they don’t want to put out any effort. Personal interaction is not a priority. Often hand held games are not completely mindless; they do require strategy and the ability to figure them out through trial and error. The interactive video games bring in some movement, but still the screen blasts the mind with stimulus while the player moves his wand to the games requirements.

But, where is the imagination? There is none. The mind is stimulated by fast passed scenes, without a smidgeon of effort toward imagination being made. Imagination is becoming a thing of the past. Children that can think outside of the box will stand out in the next generation. Encourage the stretching of young minds by providing opportunity to use their imaginations. Limit television, computer games and hand held games. Instead, play house, tag, and board games. Start a picture and have your child finish it. Ask a child to tell you a story. Dance, sing and just be silly with dress up or hair styles. Walk and talk, talk about what you see or whatever comes to mind. Play “What if..” this is an opportunity to have one person say, "what if horses could fly," then another person answers, "then they could eat clouds." Another mind stretcher is “Would You Rather” in this game one person asks, "would you rather have to wear dresses every day or dye your hair pink?" Another person picks an answer and explains why. What is so important about imagination? Basically it is important because it stretches the mind. God wants us to have sound mind, while Satan wants to confuse us. Using our brains in imagination helps strengthen them to be ready when there is a battle going on in our mind. I fear that lazy minds are an easy place for falsehood to set up camp. Jesus also used much imagination in His parables. He used these creative stories to bring home key points for us to guide our lives by. We too can use our imaginations to creatively and boldly share Truth with others. Another by product of imagination is communication. In order to communicate one’s creative ideas, words must be used. When the imagination is in full swing, not just any words will do, words must taste, smell and feel like the picture that is being portrayed. Vocabulary is stretched. For some parents stimulating their child’s imagination comes effortlessly, for others of us it requires purposeful effort. Whichever camp you come from, keep in mind what is best for your child. An electronic game now and then is not the end of a child’s mind’s hope for a future, but guiding them to more stimulating play will benefit beyond the number of levels there are able to pass.

Yesterday I taught a class of kindergarten to fifth graders about fussing. Actually, we discussed what it is and why we do it. Then I asked if it works. Most of the children answered sometimes. In other words, it works for them to get what they want just often enough for them to keep trying it. Oh how I wish these children’s moms could have heard this conversation. The children were honest; they fuss because sometimes it works! One child even proclaimed that everyone has to fuss some times. I challenged this. I asked who believed the Bible is Truth. They all raised their hands. So if I could find it in the Bible where it says we don’t have to fuss, would they believe it? Yes, they agreed. Earlier in the time the children had said that fussing was expressing their anger and complaining. So I read, Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Fussing sounds sour like vinegar, God wants our words to be pleasant like honey. Then we read, Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger (fussing), but a wise man keeps himself under control.” The Bible says if we are wise we will control ourselves and not fuss. Lastly, to combat what the children earlier defined fussing as, Phil. 2: 14 “Do everything without complaining or arguing.”In other words, God tells us to do everything without fussing; so we do not have to fuss, we have control over it. As we wrapped up the class we did some role playing. One girl said she fusses when her mom asks her to do anything. When she is asked to clean her room she says, “Oh, alright, I suppose.” So I asked her if that was being wise or foolish according to Proverbs 29:11. She said she didn’t know. I gave her a second chance because I knew she was just being difficult. She answered, “I just like to be difficult and independent.” (How many times has she heard others describe her that way and she has taken it as fact?) As a class we reminded her that the Bible, which she acknowledged as Truth, says that fussing is not being wise. And since she wants to grow up to be wise and not foolish, then she would need to practice a non-fussing response like, “Yes, Mom, I would be glad to.” As a group we proclaimed this in unison. To end on a memorable note the class used a fussy tone to ask for a cookie, and then we asked for a cookie with a smile. Several times we practiced. Finally, I gave them all a cookie. Lastly, I challenged the class to go home and have their words sound sweet like honey, not sour like vinegar. To bring strength to their mothers with pleasant words, not wear them down with fussing.

A dear friend has four children ages, five, four, three and two. This is the busiest time of her life. It will only get easier from here. Already the older ones are able to get into their car seats by themselves and the oldest can help the youngest get buckled in. These little helps are really huge helps for a young mom. I remember having a five, three, one and new. Winter was especially tough. Our youngest was born early December, so all the bundling required the rest of the winter was my responsibility. The five year old was mostly capable, but still needed help getting mittens on over the jacket. I really thought twice before going out because of the amount of effort it took to get four small children out the door. Groceries did need to be bought, so we did venture out at least a few times a week. My dear friend though is finding it difficult to find time to fulfill Deut. 6: 6-9 with her young brood. Deuteronomy 6: 6-9 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” My advice is to prioritize Bible Time. START each day with the reading of a children’s Bible, then highlight a character trait and do some role playing of how it looks in real life. Having this non-conflict time first thing in the day not only keeps it from being skipped, but gives mother examples to draw from the rest of the day. As principles are discussed and practiced every morning, they will become natural for mother to bring up as her and her child sit at home, walk along, lie down and get up.Practically, how does this look? Blankets work well for giving children their own space to be in. Have each child sit on their own blanket. A little toy or stuffed animal can help the youngest children during this time. Even if they are not completely engaged, they are learning how to sit still and are observing their older siblings listen and respond to mom’s questions. Any child that can walk can be pulled in during the role playing, this feels like a game and prepares them for real life too. Martin Luther is known to have said his day was too busy not to pray. He would get up earlier to make sure he had enough time to pray before facing a hectic day. As moms we can adopt this wisdom for training our children. Our days with small children are too busy not to train. We need to start each day with non-conflict explaining, showing and practicing before we face a hectic day. God is our source personally for success and with our children, always seek Him first.

“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”

Billy Graham

Bad company corrupts good character. I Corinthians 15: 33 We talk to our children about their friends. They may be initially attracted to someone because that child attends the same church, plays the same sport, has cute clothes or makes everyone laugh. But, do those things make a person wise?He who walks with the wise is wise. Proverbs 13: 20a We want our children to be wise, so we help them recognize what makes others wise, making it possible to pick good company. We need to weigh character when it comes to picking who to get close to. Our children are encouraged to be friendly to everyone, to see needs and help meet them; yet, when it comes to picking a close chum, we promote evaluating character.George Washington expressed a similar view:"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." Some of the questions we use to help guide our children in walking with the wise are:

Is the peer respectful to their parents?

Do they hunger for God’s word?

Are they teachable?

Do they share?

Are they a servant?

What do they feed their hearts and minds?

Will they spur you onto higher ground or pull you toward the world?

We also look for character when we are looking for a church. We don’t always get to choose the authority we are under, but finding a new church is one area in which we do…and we talk this over with our children. We moved to Wisconsin six years ago and had to find a church. As we started visiting, we explained to our children that the first condition was that the church had to be Bible believing. To help us discern this, we read their doctrine online and visited the church’s library to see what they have. The library is very telling of what perspective a church is coming from. Next, we wanted a warm church that lived out God’s command to love one another. The few churches that didn’t talk to us at all on our first visit were not for us. After initially liking a church, we would evaluate the leadership based on the verses in I Timothy 3. Are they above reproach, husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to much wine, gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money, able to manage own family, have respectful children, not a recent convert and have a good reputation with outsiders Our main concern was not where the pastor went to seminary or how eloquent he was; we wanted a leader with godly character. Paul wrote more letters in the New Testament than any other man. He said, “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Gal. 2:20) Paul also says, “I may not be a trained speaker,” (II Cor. 11:6) and he was accused of being “’timid’ when face to face with you, but ‘bold’ when away!” (II Cor. 10:1) Although God had dramatically changed Paul, people still wanted a showy teacher. We are purposing to help our children discern Truth from show, and to cling to that which God says matters. Now that we are entering an election year, we are talking to our children again about looking at a leader’s character. Statistics show that:character. Statistics show that: -- The “best looking” candidate has the greatest chance of winning.-- Really?! Yep, man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart. Just as when David was chosen as king, his brothers appeared to be better choices outwardly, but God chose the boy whose heart was after His.

-- Charisma wins a lot of votes also. It is not what is said, but how it is said that people tend to hear. We are to let no one deceive us with empty words. It takes real focus to listen to the real message and not get caught up in the emotion of presentation. Charm is deceptive. --Other factors like being from home state, going to same college, being an avid skier (or whatever hobby fits), shaking my hand, onto a hundred other little things will gain some votes. These are just appearances. John 7: 24 “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment!”

--Pet topics will definitely influence many. This isn’t all bad; we must choose something solid to base our support on. Yet, does a president’s view on saving dolphins really tell us how he will run our country? We mustn’t let a pet topic be a distraction that blurs seeing the character of a man. Again, we want our children to view a leader of our country through the same eyes they would view a leader of our church. Does he have the character laid out in I Timothy 3? Godly character will serve our country well. Our forefathers sought the Lord and we desire to raise our children to value those same principles.

"The great pillars of all government…[are] virtue, morality, and religion. This is the armor, my friend, and this alone, that renders us invincible." Patrick Henry Whether it is friends, churches or political leaders, evaluation is best based on character. God looks at the heart, so this is a skill worth polishing in our own lives. When we, as parents, try to make decisions based on character, we can also verbalize our reasoning to our children. This communication on prioritizing character will influence the next generation toward godly thinking.

One of my children recently asked me what I think about having a “best friend.” Well, I told her I didn’t really like the idea because it sounds so exclusive to those who do not bear that title. The best friend title also seems to claim owner ship of the other person and may even proclaim, ”She is my friend, you can’t have her.” In our home we have always said that our siblings are our best friends, because all other friends will come and go, but siblings will be there for us forever. When I dove a little deeper into my daughter’s question, she claimed that several people had asked her who her best friend was. I told her that even some of my adult friends call each other best friends. Then she surprised me and said, “You even asked me the other day.” How confusing to a girl to have her mom say she doesn’t really care for the idea of best friends outside of the family, but then have that same mother ask who she felt was her best friend? I remember the conversation and that I was digging for a reason, but I should have used different terms. I could have asked, “Who do you feel closest to outside of our family?” Or “Who is easy for you to relate to outside of our family?” This conversation was a good reminder for me to be consistent in my presentations to our children.

In ESP (explain, show, & practice) Character Training I share a tip for dealing with fussing. When the children would fuss, we would give them a squirt of apple cider vinegar and say, “Fussing sounds sour, I want you to sound sweet like honey.” This was very helpful for dealing with fussing quickly in the moment. Today I would like to add some non-conflict training that can help a young child realize they do not have to fuss. At a time you’ve set aside, talk to the children about fussing. Ask them to show you what fussing looks and sounds like. Point out to them that they tend to lower their head, stick out their lip, speak in a high pitch and mumble. Instruct them to now lift their chin up, smile, lower the tone and speak slowly and clearly. Help with each step that seems difficult. Use yourself as an example for them to follow.Explain that this is how you want them to speak to you, not fussing. Next, show them they have control over these factors by practicing different voice exercises. First, have your child speak quietly then loudly, quickly then slowly, in a high voice and then a low, with head tilted down and then with chin up, and with a frown and then a smile. Feel free to give them silly things to say, it is not what they are saying we are practicing, it is how they say it. After the above practice, introduce some role playing. Ask the children when they tend to fuss and why? If they can’t think of this, be prepared with an idea yourself. Then role play those situations with the new found skills they have learned. During this practice remember to explain, show and practice as needed. In real time when fussing happens, I still like apple cider vinegar, but to say, “chin up, no fussing” and allowing the child to try again would be another option.

We traveled this past weekend. Actually, it was a long weekend, from Wednesday to Sunday. Friday to Sunday were spent with a friend’s four children. Her and her husband had a wonderful get away weekend planned. Tuesday morning I received a text from a dear friend asking how the weekend was. Quickly I responded, “Great, had a wonderful time.” The friend wrote back, “I prayed for you four times, you kept coming to mind.” Wow, I was floored and I felt extremely loved. My response was more detailed. “Thank you so much for praying for me. The weekend held two times that I was desperate for God’s help. The first was when one of the children had an asthma attack in the night, and secondly, I met with a friend that is having a lot of marriage issues.” Prayer is bonding! This act of kindness by praying for me brought me to tears. I thanked the Lord for giving me such a special friend that was sensitive to His prompting her to pray. This friend and I don’t have a lot of time to spend together. We chat on the phone periodically and we attend a Titus2 group together every other week. When we do chat or see each other, we often end up praying over something. This sharing prayer and standing with each other before the Lord is a key to the closeness of our relationship! Want to have a close girlfriend? Ask God for one; then start praying with the friends you have. God will lead you to one (or more, I have three) friends that you can count on to stand in the gap with and for you.

Normally, my cursive writing is a little slow. The other day though I was in a hurry so I signed quickly. What a surprise when I looked down and saw my mother’s handwriting. How does that work? How did I learn to write like my mother? When I write slowly and purposefully, my writing is innovative---but, when I hurry up and just get it done, my writing looks like my mother's. This happens in parenting too. Often we see things our mothers did that we want to do differently. We purpose to change, yet, when life gets hectic we find ourselves reacting a lot like our mothers did. At these moments it is tempting to say, “I give up” or “it is too hard to change”.

It is true that we often fall into the habits we are use to when we are not purposefully heading another direction. Don’t be defeated when you see old family behaviors pop up, just recognize them for what they are and move on. Moving on will require effort and a plan. They say (I’ve heard this somewhere along the way) that if we focus on what we don’t want to become, that is what we will become. In other words, whatever we focus on is what we will become. So if we want to make changes from what the generations before have done, we must focus on the change, not on the past. Filling our minds with God’s guidance will strengthen our resolve. II Timothy 3: 14-16 says it this way, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” (italics added) Want to be righteous and raise children in righteousness, learn and be convinced by studying the wisdom available in the Scriptures. With the Word of God as our foundation, we must surround ourselves with those who are heading the same direction. At times it will be difficult to find this, but even one friend or mentor can provide a lot of strength for this journey. Being picky about what we feed our mind is essential. With google at our finger tips, we can find any perspective we want to hear in just a few key strokes. So we must FIRST be convinced through God’s Word and then we must be careful to only feed that perspective. Bank employees are required to study a real dollar bill in order to recognize a counterfeit. We too must study God’s only Truth so we will not be knocked of course by a counterfeit. Having hand writing like my mother is not a big deal. I am also fortunate that my mother made a lot of changes to break generational yuck from passing down to us. Still, my journey includes continuing in the direction she started. I cannot coast or give up when I see myself doing that which I don’t want to do. Instead, each short coming must be met with a resolve to seek Truth to replace any lies that are tripping me up. Just like my signature, I must take life on slowly and purposefully in order to make it innovative.

What about us moms that don’t want to do so much? Could you share from another perspective? We don’t want to hear from someone so close to our own age. Can’t we bring in someone closer to our age, so we can relate? We’re tired of hearing about being a wife and mother, can’t we cover something else? It sounds like if we don’t do it “your” way, then we are wrong. Wow, that is what I have heard from several churches recently regarding their women’s ministry. Some of these ministries are going to be stopping because they cannot get anyone to lead them. Can you blame them? Why are we tired of hearing about being a wife and mother? Have we mastered those areas? The Bible is clear about what older women are to teach the younger women, to love their husbands and their children. We can get together to knit or scrap book or play games, but that is not the ministry God lays out in His word. We must not neglect the important, to indulge the insignificant. What other perspective are we talking about, the world’s perspective? If the Word of God is being used as the basis, then it is God’s way not an individual’s. In the end times they will want their ears tickled. Don’t convict me, just entertain me. I want to go home feeling good about myself, not challenged to be who God has called me to be. Of course we wouldn’t admit not wanting to be convicted or challenged, we will just ask for another perspective. I apologize if I am sounding sarcastic; the truth is I am sad, very sad. Those of you that are swimming up river, don’t give up. If only one person listens, then spur them on. As you read the Word, recognize the trials the disciples were up against. They too were often rejected. Remain faithful to the Lord’s calling on your life and be bold in sharing Him with others.

My sister does a major cleaning day on mondays, she calls them Mighty Mondays. She sent out this word of encouragement to be honest with ourselves and teachable, so we can find what really works for our home.Oh how I love Might Monday's!! I just thrill at the thought. What I like most about my/our Might Monday's is how they work for us. Each of us needs to find a system that works. We all have different personalities, priorities, so what works for me won't work for you. I can't encourage you enough though to find a system that works for you. I love doing laundry once a week, but have to do it twice a week because I can't do it all once a week. But we get it all done twice a week. That works for us. You might like doing a load or two a day. You might like having various people doing their own laundry. There isn't an absolute right or wrong here, but if your system isn't working, keep trying till you find one that does. The laundry needs to get done.

Cleaning the house: you might like doing a little every day. We hit the bathrooms and floors, once a week, need it or not. We are finding that the basement bathroom is getting kind of grungy at a once a week cleaning. I have six kids down there and I don't check it. I think I'll add a chore to someone's life and have them just clean the mirror and touch up during the week. Grunge isn't good, but a thorough cleaning twice a week is just too much.

Another aspect of our having a system that has worked so successfully for so long is we all know what is expected and we can just do it. Minimal drama. I have to say minimal because I have two that fight over cleaning which bathroom. Seriously!!! You'd think they'd be happy we have two bathrooms to clean. Good grief. So, they switch off every week but of course can't agree on the switching, alas, the minimal drama comment. But as a whole, we can come back from being out of town, which has been happening a bit lately, and within a day we are back on schedule, house is clean, laundry done and if we are really on top of our game the vehicle we took is up to speed too. That makes me happy.

Different things will make you happy, are you hitting the happy meter? Throwing away stuff thrills me too!! We all need margin, we need empty time and space. Throwing stuff away gives me needed space.

Oh I love it when the house is clean, the laundry is done and I know what we are having for supper. Wahoo. And when I know what we are having for supper for a week or two; life is really good then. Today I just want to finish my IRS taxes. That cloud has been hanging over me and I NEED it to move. I thought I had it done on Saturday but then remembered one more thing. I don't think it will take too long, and even if it takes longer than planned I have a strategy. So, the cloud doesn't seem quite as dark as it has been hanging over me. Every day my husband would call and ask how I am, every day I'd say all is fine except the I-R-S!!! So ridiculous to procrastinate and yet I do.

I am thankful that most of my daily life stuff I don't procrastinate. As a whole I tackle what is before me. Maybe next year I'll be more on top of my tax game, smile. No promises to anyone.

My word of encouragement to each of you today is to be honest with yourself and deal with whatever issues are stressing you out. Read organizational books or articles and learn how to manage your time or your space or your money, or whatever it is that would make your life smoother. Read some recipe books if you need some meal preparation inspiration. The experts have written everything down, so you can basically study any topic.