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PHILDINFTLAUDY'S TOP 10 REASONS FOR STICKING A VEGETABLE AND DILDO UP YOUR ARSE (based on David Letterman's Top 10 List Concept)

10. Vegetables and Dildos - if cleaned properly - contain absolutely no risk of transmitting HIV. (this one is for Ann, RapidRod, Rev, Matty, Andy, David, and the rest of the AMI thread moderators)9. Using vegetables and dildos saves on the cost of condoms8. Vegetables and dildos don't talk back7. Vegetables and dildos usually have more endurance then some of our previous hook ups6. Can kill two birds with one stone when using vegetables - sexual satisfaction and a nice dinner salad5. Don't have to pay for cab fare after finishing the "deed"4. Eliminates the need to say "Wow, I could've had a V-8" after being dissatisfied with a human partner3. Different vegetables available for different seasons adds variety to your sex life2. Helps in our efforts of "going green" and lowers carbon footprint (biodegradeable - break down easier than condoms)and the number 1 reason for sticking vegetables and dildos up your ass -1. Sure as hell beats taking a vitamin or other supplement - and probably more effective in making you feel better

Addendum from a friend:- Cucumbers don't mind sharing the fridge with other cucumbers.

I once stuck a Han Solo action figure up my butt, as an eleven year old.

Later on, I melted it in the family fireplace, as an exciting conclusion to my seven-part snow Star Wars festival.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

This thread makes me want to break into song... Tonight, I've chosen the theme song to Gypsy.

Lettuce us entertain youLettuce make you smileWe can do a few tricksSome old and then some new tricksWe are very versatile

We'll have a real good time YES SIR, oh, we'll have a real good time Have the best dayMichael

Yes I'm very versatile always have been most of my life, but, also found out that a lot of my Gay Peers didn't like this fact, but hey I always said to them....FUCK EM if they cannot take a joke, cause the joke was really on them, and not me

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

I once stuck a Han Solo action figure up my butt, as an eleven year old.

Later on, I melted it in the family fireplace, as an exciting conclusion to my seven-part snow Star Wars festival.

Huh... When I was a kid I once took my friends entire GI Joe collection into the bathroom with me and scooped shit out of the toilet with their heads. Then I put them back on the shelf in his room. He didn't realize it till about 3 days later, remember this was pre-meds for me. He's actually on my friends list on FB now, told me via private message I was "mean as a kid". Amazing how some people just can't take a joke.

Huh... When I was a kid I once took my friends entire GI Joe collection into the bathroom with me and scooped shit out of the toilet with their heads. Then I put them back on the shelf in his room. He didn't realize it till about 3 days later, remember this was pre-meds for me. He's actually on my friends list on FB now, told me via private message I was "mean as a kid". Amazing how some people just can't take a joke.

Which brings me to my next question:

Is this the best fucking tattoo or what?

All you need is a little bit of deodorant stuck in that armpit hair and you got yourself a yeast infection .

All you need is a little bit of deodorant stuck in that armpit hair and you got yourself a yeast infection .

If you use one of those clear type of roll-on deodorants it would look like a very moist poosay --which reminds me of a certain thread that's been floating around the Aii? part of the forum.

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

1. The guy who tasted fluid from a "very wet vagina"2. The one who got cum on his pee-pee's head3. And, especially, the one who calls himself a LTS!

edited fro tpyo

« Last Edit: September 20, 2010, 02:14:21 PM by Rev. Moon »

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

i went out last night for the first time in a good while and woooo what a night i met a gorgoeus russian girl in 6 inch stilletoes ( shoe fetish yes ) im back wooo what a night.

1. What did your wife have to say about this?2. Will this poor Russian woman be asking us questions in the 'am I infected' section? I hope you disclosed.3. What does the CDC have to say about stilettos?

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Good to know ... I was wondering when someone was going to put a foot up your ass .

Wouldn't that require for him to first pull out his own head? I believe he likes living that way.

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

I think it is time for someone to start a sticky thread in Recently Infected or Living With about transmission vectors. I cannot believe the level of ignorance some people carry about HIV and AIDS, and as those with the butt bug, it is IMPERATIVE that we know what is and is not a risk. Bad enough that other people think toothbrushes and kisses transmit HIV. When we think that, we are perpetuating all sorts of ugly stigma.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I think it is time for someone to start a sticky thread in Recently Infected or Living With about transmission vectors. I cannot believe the level of ignorance some people carry about HIV and AIDS, and as those with the butt bug, it is IMPERATIVE that we know what is and is not a risk. Bad enough that other people think toothbrushes and kisses transmit HIV. When we think that, we are perpetuating all sorts of ugly stigma.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann. I posted something to this effect in that toothbrush thread too, as I did not know how many went from LIVING WITH to the seedier grounds of OFF TOPIC.

I am glad my hair is too short to grab. I would be pulling it out, over that stuff. On the topic of sticky threads, and tangential to this one, maybe a disclaimer about supplements or a general rundown of drug interactions (or links to the LESSONS section that deals with that) would be helpful in the NUTRITION section?

I mean really, how many times do we need to have the Colloidal Silver discussion?

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

No, if we do it, I think it should be in Living. After all, Dingowarrier isn't newly diagnosed and he's the person who started the toothbrush thread.

THAT was the most disheartening/aggravating part of all.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

After careful consideration, and checking of said Forum, I must concur. Except the part about guilt, I have no guilt over being so thoroughly entertained by some of what I have read there. I can only hope that our Dear Ann doesn't go on some sort of Kill-Crazy Rampage after explaining things for the eleventy billionth time.

Well, to be honest, this was my wifes idea to post, she is a nervous nelly, but i figure I'd tried to make her feel better and post..I do know,but I at times still feel crappy bout this whole thing,and at times I feel I owe it to her if things like this (posting)makes her feel better.

What on earth is a support forum for if not to reassure, even when people know they "shouldn't" need reassurance?

I realize its frustrating to keep repeating the same basic HIV transmission information in the "Am I Infected" forum. I like to think that our HIV transmission lesson is one of the most nuanced available -- it was written and posted with tremendous input from Ann, Andy and Jonathan. While it might be necessary to freshen up the content a little bit, one thing to keep in mind is that the vast majority of people visiting "Am I" will always think that their experience differs -- "okay, so I know I can't get HIV from fingering a woman, but what if she's a sex worker, had blood in her genital fluids and there was a small cut on my finger" -- that will require some hand-holding (and a whole lot of tough love) from an actual expert in the forums. No matter how much detail we put into the HIV transmission lesson, and no matter how prominent we feature it in a sticky or elsewhere, most "Am I" participants are going to want dialog to allay their fears. Fortunately, everyone does a great job of encouraging people to first read the HIV transmission lesson before spewing anxiety in the "Am I" forum.

I'd like to think that we can be a little more patient and forgiving with people who are actually living with HIV -- for whom these forums were originally intended -- who post even the most basic concerns in the "Newly Infected" and "Living With" forums. Yes, we should expect people living with HIV to have a basic understanding of how their virus is and is not transmitted and I do think this should be the place where they can get such information, without judgment or fear that they will be taken to task for asking seemingly "stupid" questions. For someone living with HIV, there's simply no such thing as a stupid question -- and quite frankly, I'd much rather see someone ask a basic question here than most other places.

We've seen this in the past -- people living with HIV with children in the same house tend to be hyper concerned about HIV transmission. Though many of these concerns are lacking in basis, they're certainly very natural and understandable.

Fortunately, such basic questions among those actually living with HIV in these forums are few and far between. I think we can all afford to be a little more forgiving, in the actual forums for people living with HIV, because of this.

I'm not exactly thrilled how the now-infamous toothbrush thread played out. Dingowarrior isn't the first, and won't be the last, person living with HIV to ask a basic question about HIV transmission. In fact, it was a good question, given that the CDC says one thing and there is plenty of experience and information to the contrary that we can reasonably discuss here.

After discussing this stickied transmission information idea with Tim, I'm in agreement with him that it would serve no real purpose. People want to be individually reassured and that's totally understandable.

In addition to Tim's comments, I came to realise that people often don't bother clicking on the stickied Welcome Threads - where they'll find links to the Lessons, including the Transmission Lesson - and they're not going to be any more likely to click on a stickied transmission thread either.

I hope we can all show some patience - me included, and I know how frustrating it can be sometimes - when these types of questions come up. We're here to support each other and learn from each other.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

After discussing this stickied transmission information idea with Tim, I'm in agreement with him that it would serve no real purpose. People want to be individually reassured and that's totally understandable.

In addition to Tim's comments, I came to realise that people often don't bother clicking on the stickied Welcome Threads - where they'll find links to the Lessons, including the Transmission Lesson - and they're not going to be any more likely to click on a stickied transmission thread either.

I hope we can all show some patience - me included, and I know how frustrating it can be sometimes - when these types of questions come up. We're here to support each other and learn from each other.

Ann

After reading Assurban and Tim's posts, I do agree. I realize that people should be treated with a level of respect and dignity, and that these forums were intended for people living with HIV - the AM I INFECTED forum exists solely as a courtesy for those with queries.

I also understand that I will NEVER know the depths of crazy a person can sink into when a child of theirs is concerned. I am not a parent. Not of humans, anyhow... and I know the depths of crazy which I have explored when one of my pets grows ill or dies.

I think it is imperative that, at the very least, each of us understands the virus that runs through our body. Understands how it got there, how it gets to other people, what it does. I am often aggravated when people do not do this, and I have become a little thin-skinned when it comes to offerin support to those who have not achieved that measure.

It is not nice of me, it is not charitable, and it is neither kind nor supportive.

I also agree with the assessment of the sticky thread. Rarely do people read them. AM I is proof of that. I just often search the universe for a way to make information not only available, but mandatory. Such a thing is not possible, I think.

I will try to temper myself in the support forums, and exercise the patience that has, on many occasions, been shown to me when I have had a lapse.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."