Nonsensical Ramblings of an Art Student Trying To Be Serious. Here, Have a Plate of Acrylic.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Dang baby!

*grabs mic from The Queen of Hearts and stands under spotlight*

*gives a big wave and smile*

Hello to you and you and you and you! Hello hello hello! *ahem* Well, I too am a guess blogger here. I shall not reveal myself in case I break the oath of secrecy I've sworn to. I'm here to tell y'all losers how its like being an ice cream.

Yes. As happy as the lickers and suckers are when they eat me, they don't know what goes on beneath. First, I shall explain how I came to be.

It was a fine day like any other so a few friends friends named Milk, Sugar, Cream, Chocolate Chip and Fruit Puree decided to meet. Milk was telling us how it was like being squeezed and squirted from home. Poor fella. Imagine that. Anyway, they were all telling their stories of how the world began for them when suddenly, a big churning machine came from behind them and sucked them all in. They were helpless I tell you! Poor souls.

2 days passed. So from the day we had met up, it was already The Day After Tomorrow. The world froze. Jack Hall (Dennis Quaid) was still out the lookout for his son, Sam Hall (Jack Gyllennhaal). He was panting as he struggled to haul himself above all the wreckage only to settle upon the machine that we were all lying very still in.

“Hey, Sugar…you alright there buddy?”

Silence filled the churning cauldron.

“Milk? Fruit Puree? CREAM????”

Tears almost welled up in Chocolate Chips eyes. Fate had taken away his faithful friends. No longer having the will to go on, Chocolate Chip took his last breath and settled on top of Cream.

Jack Hall jolted up as the machine he was lying on suddenly roared to life, choked and sputtered. Then silence. Out from the little mouth at the bottom of the machine lied the fruit of all the commotion a few seconds ago. This is probably what I looked like at that time.

Anyway, Jack found me so good. Kept licking me like how a dog would lick his master. He lived. He found his son. The world melted. And now we’ve got global warming. Such An Inconvenient Truth. Don’t you think so? Al Gore sure does. Anyway, that’s another story for another day.

Now, I come in different flavours, colours, shapes, sizes and I go easily with anything. Bread is a good friend of mine. Wraps me up to keep me warm. But that sucks coz I melt faster. Peaches just dilute me to the max. Some humans irritate me when they start coating me with some dark brown gooey stuff. Aren’t I good enough for you people??? I do like it though when it starts pouring colourful, sweet rain on me. =D

So, for you suckers out there, I go through a lot just to feed your fat tummies. But you don’t know my secret do ya now? Well, here’s a little something. When I enter your gross system, I go into places that you can’t find me at. For instance, your thighs. Try busting me there, fools. After eating me a while, you’ll have realized that I never leave your body and when more of me comes along, I will take over you and give a little present called High Blood Pressure or maybe Diabetes. See how lucky you are.

Well, that’s my little story for tonight. Hope you folks enjoyed yourself. Will be back here same time, same place if I’m not shot yet while in the WC.