Having failed (twice!) to woo young defectors with ads, Microsoft tries appealing to their unending quest for ironic shirts.

The so-called Softwear line of tees joins Crispin Porter + Bogusky's ongoing "I'm a PC" campaign. Common -- who already appears in ads for Microsoft's Zune -- infused the shirts with retro cred and his own '80s-inspired designs.

Two relics of the old guard try something new in these print ads for Marc Jacobs/Louis Vuitton, featuring Madonna. Variant.

There's a lot going on -- those stringy shoes, chunky witch doctor bangles and a hair skirt, of all bloody things -- but like we said to our friend Jeremy Dante (who passed the ads over), Madonna's career is a defiant chin-jut to an industry that swallows young divas, warps their minds and spits them out as lesser animals.

She's an edgy classic, imperfect, unbridled but timeless -- and that's a niche LV can do something with.

Brazilian actor Caua Raymond is auctioning off a hunk of chewed Trident that he kept in his mouth, just for the fans, for exactly 15 minutes.

Video below! Hope you speak Portuguese. Diggin' how Raymond has a dude with a tray and a glass receptacle, hanging around for moments like this one.

For reasons I sure don't understand, the vid is the most-viewed on YouTube Brazil today (280,743 views and counting). The "winner" of this spit-saturated dream-pebble gets to meet Raymond in a ceremony, where the money raised from the auction will be donated to charity.

The ad cash just keeps pouring in for Ozzy Osbourne. Fresh off that Samsung spot for Leo Burnett, he's enlisted with Mojo for a World of Warcraft promotion.

The more blitzed he is, the better. And it probably only helps when he makes batshit-insane statements like, "Well, maybe you're the one who's been riding a fucking CRAZY TRAIN!" while teetering. (In case you didn't catch that with your ears, captions -- now a staple for Ozzy cameos -- have been included.)

In what simply has to be a joke, Sean Combs/John/Whatever released a video (which he painfully calls "a blog" ... it's a POST, people. A POST on a BLOG) for the movie I Am King. And the best part? He wants to be the next James Bond. Seriously. Or not.

The entire campaign -- which promotes his new fragrance -- is so far fetched, it's not easy to discern the difference between joke and cringe-worthy creative intent.

By Tierney Communications/Philly, which hopes to draw 18- to mid-twenty-year-olds choosing a bank for the first time. Two other spots, "Lincoln" and "Operator" -- use your imagination! -- are currently in production. Keep an eye out for those bad-boys at TD Bank Theater.

Sadly, it's just an ego-fueled, self-indulgent, hipsteresque celebu-fest akin to, oh, say, the recent AgencySpy party (kidding, Matt. Seriously!) masquerading as an Adidas commercial. And if this weren't enough, there's a two minute version of the commercial coming out after the New Year.

For his signature sneaker the Zoom LeBron VI, "Chalk" lovingly exploits LeBron James' habit of throwing talcum powder into the air before each game. Watch as others follow suit -- with contagiously patriotic reverence -- to the slightly narcotic Candyman by Cornershop.