Welcome

If you're here on this page that means you've taken the time to click my username and whisk yourself off to the magical land of TheOnly's fics.

While you're on this page I invite you to kick back, relax, and enjoy yourself. Feel free to leave a comment on my page about anything, whether it be a suggestion, a question, a compliment, a criticism, or even just a conversation starter. I love to talk.

If you're here to get some updates on what I've been up to, look at my blog, I make new posts often.

Now, because you've taken the time to come to my page and stay for long enough to read this, I should reward you, right?

A brave and valiant spartan warrior finds himself in unfamiliar territory. Unable to form any signal to base, he is stranded on a beach inhabited by an odd species, with only a high powered assault rifle to protect him from their cuddles and hugs.

1) White box is a great fic that makes you think about stuff, and the ending is pretty awesome
2) The pretentious and verbose (seriously, he's like a damn thesaurus) Chromosome delivers again, with the only story that isn't about MLP for 90% of the story and still manages to get seven bouts of frisson from me and leave me at the end staring at the computer screen basking in the glory of what I had just read.

New to my stories? Here are some &quot;good&quot; ones to get you started, if you can't decide what to read first.

Most of my writing is in the form of parody, like My Little Stashie and HESFWAH. So if you're new to reading pony fan fiction, you might be a little lost as to where the comedy is in some of these fics.

FAQ

Q: What's your name?A: TheOnly

Q: What's your favorite food?A: All of it.

Q: Who is best pony?A: I do not objectify ponies. It is Rarity, however.

Q: Can I advertise my story on your user page?A: No. Now run before I get the spray bottle.

Q: Why are you only following Chromosome? A: I do what I want.

Q: Will you follow me?A: Are you Chromosome?

Q: What color pants are you wearing?A: Black.

Q: Do you write clop?A: Define clop.

Q: Sensual pony fan fiction?A: No.

Q: Will you?A: Will you?

Q: What's your favorite word?A: Defenestration

Q: How big is your vocabulary?A: Twelve words

Q: Are you a gorgeous piece of man-cake?A: Yes.

Q: Did anybody actually ask you these questions?A: Of course they did.

Q: Really?A: Sure.

Q: Okay.A: Okay.

Q: No seriously, it isn't an FAQ if none of these questions has been asked, right?A: It's okay, probability says somebody's bound to ask them.

Q: But that doesn't make them frequently asked, correct?A: Get out.

The Idea Mill

Need a story idea? I have plenty that I've completely abandoned for reasons that should be too obvious. Feel free to steal these.

1) Pinkie Pie is a train. Choo choo motherfucker.

2) Second person fic that stars you as a saddlebag.

3) Rainbow Dash sits in a room and watches a piece of dust journey across the floor. An introspective fic about the beauty of moving slowly. Things blow up at the end.

4) Spike starts reading a book about cooking and gets really good at cooking. He becomes chef spike and gets his own cooking show. Hilarious.

5) Pinkie Pie does something funny.

6) Twilight steps on a piece of glass and realizes that she's actually made of metal and a robot.

7) Pinkie Pie is actually half-chicken

8) Rarity goes into town and buys something. She returns to her boutique and uses her bought item to complete a task. The funny part is the anti-climax.

9) A story that devolves into a race between Rainbow Dash and a rainbow.

10) The earlier years of Tom the rock, when he was a young buckaroo going to parties in high school and getting wasted.

11) Twilight is actually a top level general of the Equestrian military. She attacks everything on sight.