Professor: “…and a good thing about software is that, although it can be easier if you have professional software, you don’t really need it. Anyone who has a computer can write a program. I was surprised to learn that something I’d been using was developed in the North Pole.”

Student:*joking* “With the penguins?”

Professor: “Yes! And it was probably one of them who wrote it.”

Student: “…A penguin?”

Professor: “Sure. They’re not primitive, you know. They have modern houses, computers, and everything.”

Student: “The penguins?“

Professor: “Wait, isn’t that what the native people in the North Pole are called?”

(I’m talking to my brother on the phone. He lives abroad and is calling from a payphone.)

Me: “Hey, remember that time with the hooligan?”

Brother: “What hooligan?”

Me: “When you called me, and there was a hooligan breaking the phone next to yours.”

Brother: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “There was a banging noise, and when I asked you about it you said a hooligan was breaking the phone next to you. Then you asked him to be quiet and he said, ‘Sorry, I didn’t notice you,’ and gave you one of the coins that had fallen from the phone, as an apology.”