The results are in, and…Pepsi guzzler Beyoncé is more important to the world than any dumb teacher. Rightly so. Who needs Economics 101 when “Bills, Bills, Bills” taught you everything you need to know about $$$. That is not a question.

He’s never forgotten his roots — “Empire State of Mind” was a love song to our city — and as a co-owner of the NBA Nets, he helped bring a major league sports team back to Brooklyn, not far from his old neighborhood. In nearly everything he’s tried, he’s found success. (He even put a ring on Beyoncé.) And in doing so, he’s proved that the American Dream is alive and well. (Via)

FORMER co-owner. Get with the times, Time. And Stevie Wonder on Justin Timberlake:

I think it’s a great thing when you do the most you can with the time you have in life. Justin has accomplished a lot at a young age, taking advantage of all the possibilities, and yet he’s found time to give of himself too — he gets and gives back. He has a spirit. He does God’s work through using the most of his talent. (Via)

Banging Jessica Biel is God’s work. Elsewhere, Jennifer Lawrence and Bryan Cranston (whose blurb written by Jon Hamm begins, “The first time I met Bryan Cranston, he was standing in his underwear”) join the likes of Michelle Obama, Pope Francis, and Kim Jong Un, whoever they are. Call me when you get a soda commercial, Xi Jinping.