Barely alive

I keep being told that I doing everything right. I have had 10 years of cognitive behavior therapy to help me. My social worker likes how I always say ‘When I better’. I am well aware I could get worse as it is getting worse. Or I could get better. Who knows? Not me! I have a chemical imbalance. I am that kind of crazy that I will I refuse to believe I will be like this forever. If I believed that I would have killed myself by now. I am not living, just kind of barely staying alive.