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pregnancy

Of all the worries first time moms-to-be have about labor and delivery, the pain of childbirth is probably the biggest.

Whether you have your heart set on a drug-free delivery or you just want to delay getting an epidural as long as possible, it’s a good idea to be informed of all your pain management options. It’s just about unheard of to have a pain-free delivery, so every pregnant woman should have an arsenal of tools at the ready to help with the pain of labor.

If you are wondering what the best options are for managing labor pain, read on for a comprehensive list of techniques. You will also hear from experienced moms answering the question “what helped you get through labor?”

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you click one of the product links, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Use Music

Many women have found that making a labor playlist to listen to when you’re in labor helps to distract from the pain. This is especially the case when used with headphones, so you can silently retreat into your own little world.

“I don’t know what I would have done without my labor playlist and headphones! This helped to keep me relaxed and focused on something else. Also, a hot shower helped tremendously.” -Inez, For The Love Of Mom

“When I was in labor, I had a specific song to focus on and keep me grounded. I would sing it in my head over and over again. This helped distract me for the most part, but when the pain was really rough, i did kegels!” -Melissa, sheis.com

“Prior to my epidural, music. It had to be through headphones, though. Listening to music that way has always helped me block out everything around me.” -Desteny, A Frugal Desteny

Birth ball

Most maternity wards come equipped with birth balls, which are just regular yoga balls used during labor. Chances are if you have one at home you’ve already been enjoying it during pregnancy, as sitting on it helps take away some of the pressure on your back.

During pregnancy I also loved sitting on it with my legs out wide and swiveling my hips in a circular motion. This action not only feels good on your back and hips, it can also help the baby move down more and get into optimal position for birth.

Jessi, aka The Coffee Mom, tried a little of everything, including the birth ball:

“I had terrible back labor. The only thing that helped at all was getting on all fours and rolling on my yoga ball. Getting into a hot bath helped as well, for a little while. No lie though, I got the epidural after 5 CM.”

“I used the exercise ball for a while, rolling around sitting on it. I had back massages and the tennis balls in a sock trick helped at first. After a while, Pitocin got too intense.”

Hypnobirthing

Hypnobirthing is a popular technique based on mindfulness, breathing, and relaxation. The theory is that you need to counter the urge to panic, because that creates adrenaline which pumps blood faster throughout the body as it prepares to fight-or-flight. When you remain calm, the blood is pumped to the uterus where it can do its job of helping the baby move down.

Amy (Mum of the Tribe) says, “I hypnobirthed my second baby drug free- it works but it takes practice. The practice alone is worth it as it allows you go into deep relaxation and really connect with your baby while you’re pregnant.”

Aubree of A Mother’s Field Guide writes, “I used the Hypnobabies program, which helped me to relax and focus during my labor. Not only that though, I did a lot of prep work before labor ever started. ”

I think all mothers can agree, being prepared for birth is critical. If you don’t have a comprehensive prenatal class available to you through your hospital or birthing center, here is my favorite online birth class:

Counter-pressure and massage

During my 22 hours of labor with my first, the only thing that helped take away some of the pain was counter-pressure. We had learned this technique during birth class and I’m so thankful that we did.

With each contraction, the pain wrapped all the way around lower belly and into my back. When I’d feel a contraction starting, I would lean over the side of the bed and have my husband press his fists as hard as he could into my lower back on either side of my spine. This helped take away at least half of the pain! It helped so much that when he needed to use the bathroom I made him run in between contractions so I wouldn’t have to endure even one without his counter-pressure.

“I labored for a long time with my first. The two things that helped me most were getting into a warm tub of water and having my husband push really hard on my hips during contractions. These two things help so much! Made the pain much more tolerable.”

Anna (Abrazo and Coze) enlisted the help of a Doula to get her through the pain. One of her techniques included counter-pressure as well:

“With my last birth, my Doula was the biggest factor in dealing with 12 hours of labour pain effectively. She played a fun game with Mr. A and I as distraction. Later on, she applied pressure on my back during contractions, which made the pain manageable, despite being on a full dose of pitocin (known for making contractions more painful and intense than without).”

Let water work its magic

Laboring in the tub or with a shower head aimed at your back are both great ways to take some of the pressure off the contractions. Warm water is also a known pain reliever as it helps your body produce endorphins and promotes relaxation.

“When I was giving birth to my son getting in a warm bath helped with contractions so much! If your hospital has a tub I highly recommend giving it a try!” Kayla, Parenting Expert to Mom

Jennifer of Modlins Multiply simply says “Being in the water was a total game changer for me.”

Bella describes how she used the tub in conjunction with hypnobirthing:

“When I was in labour I slept in the bath until my body started pushing. It was so relaxing and peaceful. I had done hypnobirthing so that helped massively.” Documenting the Drews

“Water helped me! With one kid it was the running shower on my belly and with another sitting in a tub of hot water.”

Farrah says, “Warm water was instant pain relief for me. I loved to have the bath filled and have the shower running on me at the same time. (I had home births for my last two).” New And Natural Mom

Practice relaxation

Contractions feel like an involuntary tensing and tightening of the abdomen. Most people’s reaction to the feeling of contractions is to tighten and tense up the rest of their body. Making a conscious effort to keep your muscles relaxed can actually help you deal with the pain. Think about keeping your body calm while letting the contraction wash over you like a wave.

Susannah of Simple Moments Stick writes, “Labor is all about relaxing for me. Consciously letting all your muscles go limp and focusing on that, not the pain, is a game changer!”

Do what you can to promote a sense of calm in the room. Dimming the lights, keeping it quiet, and relaxing music can help you feel at peace.

Michelle writes, “Essential oils and fake candles played a part in keeping me calm throughout the fifteen hours.”

Heat or cold

I used both heat and cold during my labor to help cope with the pain.

During early labor, I used my rice sock. This is a tube sock filled with rice that you can microwave to turn into a long flexible heating pad. It felt comforting around my neck and shoulders, and later under my back.

Aileen also found heat to be helpful as one of her pain management techniques:

“I had a doula who used a warm towel and essential oils around my neck. Counter pressure on my hips was the best until I hit transition. This was my third birth and a VBAC.” AileenCooks.com

As labor progressed and became more intense, it is normal to feel overheated. This is when I started favoring cold- especially washcloths soaked in a bucket of icy water. I put these on my forehead, the back of my neck, even my belly when it started to feel hot.

Ice also helped me from throwing up when I started feeling nauseated during transition.

Michelle of Bottles n Bellinis lists cold as one of the three things that helped her during her natural childbirth. She also illustrates why all pregnant women should have a backup plan for pain management, because sometimes an epidural isn’t an option even when you wanted one!

“Three things helped me during my natural drug free (not by choice) labor: 1) my nurse running her cold finger tips along the lines of my hands to deflect from the pain; 2) my midwife pushing on my lowering back during the peaks of my contractions; and 3) concentrating on breathing in and out! I was not prepared to labor without the assistance of an epidural, however, the anesthesiologists did not feel I was a candidate due to a rare blood condition that I have.”

TENS machine

A TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) unit is a handheld device that uses electrodes that stick to your back to transmit electric stimulation to your nerves. It doesn’t affect the sensation of the contractions directly, rather it interrupts the pain signal on its way from the nerves to the brain. In other words, the pain is still there, but you are not interpreting it the same way.

TENS is a low-risk pain management technique used in all kinds of different therapies and by chronic pain sufferers. It is largely unknown in the U.S. but is frequently used in Europe and Canada.

“I had back labour and the thing that helped most was my TENS machine. You need to put it on early though, when regular contractions start. After having it on for 5 or 6 hours the amount of endorphins I was producing due to the TENS made the whole thing far less painful than my other births. In fact I’d go so far to say I was in a state of bliss. It was a truly magical experience.”

Focal object

A focal object is anything you use to focus on during labor that directs your attention to something positive. It can be a photograph, a mantra, a song, or even a thought.

Focusing on holding your baby can help keep the pain in perspective as you realize it’s all moving you towards a positive outcome.

Giving birth is tough! I don’t have one specific thing that helped me but had a lot of little things the helped distract me. I had a great playlist of inspirational songs, I walked around as much as possible, I almost broke my husbands hand squeezing and most importantly I meditated and focused on a positive outcome and being able to hold my baby for the first time.

My first one was cesarian, and because of that on my second birth I was stuck in bed with the monitor. I didn’t have the luxury of walk or warm bath and the labor lasted for 10 hours. The one thing that helped me was a focus on the picture on the wall. It was of a mother holding her baby. I keep telling myself that I will hold my baby soon.

Find something to stare at and just stare and breathe through contractions. I had them put on a stupid show I didn’t like just to have something to concentrate on.

Move around

When you’re laboring naturally, take advantage of the fact that you are not confined to a bed. This freedom to be up and about means you can look for whatever position is most comfortable for you in the moment. Walking around also helps speed up labor and bring baby down.

Tavia of Big Brave Nomad did lots of moving and changing positions during labor:

“I labored mostly standing next to the bed swaying my hips, then when I went into transition I moved onto the bed and labored on all fours with my arms draped over the back of the bed. I would blow raspberries with my mouth through contractions. I freaking love giving birth — hands down the best part of the pregnancy experience.”

Throw manners out the window

When you’re in the midst of physical agony, do whatever it takes to get through the moment. Go ahead and rip your gown off if it bothers you, squeeze your husband’s hand until he screams, or curse like a sailor. Your labor and delivery providers have seen it all before!

Ashley’s advice is, “Ignore everyone. If I didn’t feel like speaking or responding, I didn’t. Manners don’t matter right now.”

Alaina-Lee, www.momeh.ca, says: “I screamed profanity at my husband and doctors … that seemed to help a lot.”

Epidural

Some women are superhuman and make it through all of labor and delivery without the help of pain medication. But for many women, they reach a point where the pain either becomes too intense, or labor goes on so long that they are too exhausted to keep doing what they’re doing. Getting an epidural can allow you some much needed pain relief as well as rest.

Even if your goal in life was to birth a child completely drug-free, you should never feel like a failure if you end up getting an epidural. Delivering a child is an amazing feat no matter how it’s done!

Those who have given birth before, what helped you manage labor pain? For those who haven’t yet, what are you planning to try?

Did you know that since the start of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) it is now mandatory for insurance companies to cover breastfeeding supplies? So many people aren’t aware of this, and they waste their money buying or registering for a breast pump. Keep reading to learn how to get a free breast pump with insurance- the easy way!

This post was written in collaboration with Aeroflow Breastpumps, but all opinions are my own.

How To Get Your Free Breast Pump With Insurance

The process for getting your insurance to cover a breast pump can be a little confusing. If you’re an introvert like me, calling your provider for a prescription and then dealing with the insurance company may seem overwhelming. That’s why I was so excited to learn about Aeroflow Breastpumps, which will take care of all that for you.

What is Aeroflow Breastpumps?

Aeroflow is a company that was founded in 2001 and started their Breastpump division in 2013 in conjunction with the Affordable Care Act. They specialize in helping pregnant and nursing mothers obtain breast pumps through insurance. Their user-friendly website gives mothers easy access to all the information and supplies they need to have a successful breastfeeding experience.

If you go with Aeroflow, the process to receive your pump looks like this:

Your Breastpump Specialist will obtain the prescription from your provider

Aeroflow will contact you to review your benefits and pump options

Your breast pump will be shipped right to your door!

That’s a lot less hassle, which is a total win in my book. And the best part? Their services are entirely FREE.

Here’s an even simpler outline of the process:

FAQs

How long does this process take?

After you fill out the Qualify Through Insurance form, your Aeroflow Breastpump Specialist will get in touch with you in 3-5 business days. Once your eligibility is confirmed and you’ve selected your pump, it will be shipped out to you as soon as possible at no charge to you. Aeroflow ships using UPS ground shipping and will provide you with a tracking number.

At what point during pregnancy should I contact Aeroflow?

You can reach out any time during your pregnancy. Depending on your insurance provider’s regulations, you can expect to receive your breast pump 30-60 days before your due date.

If you are in need of a breast pump after baby is here, you can even qualify for one up to a year after birth. This is a fantastic benefit because sometimes pumps can lose suction power with extended use- which happened to me when I tried using the same pump for Luca that I had used with Elle!

Breast Pumps

Your insurance plan won’t specify a pump brand or specific breast pump they will cover. Instead, they cover certain features. Your Breastpump Specialist will help familiarize you with the different options for features that you will need for your intended pumping use.

If you want additional features, you can choose to upgrade your pump by paying the extra amount out of pocket or with your Health Savings Account (HSA) or FSA. Upgrades might include extra sets of bottles and parts or a transportation bag if you’ll be carting your pump back and forth to work.

This chart can help you compare the different breast pumps available based on their specific features:

Different moms will have different preferences about their breast pump level of suction, size, noise level, etc. Think about where you will do the most pumping- will you have access to an electrical outlet? If not, make sure you get one with battery power.

A closed system pump is also a wise choice as it ensures milk can not flow back into the tubing. You want to keep your pump parts clean and dry to avoid the risk of mold.

That’s how easy it is to get your free breast pump!

Going through Aeroflow means more convenience for you, so you can have a happy and stress-free pregnancy.

Happy Monday everyone! After a long, boring and rainy weekend, I was pretty happy to drop the kids off at school this morning and I think they were even happy to go.

The only exciting part of our weekend was hearing the news from good friends of ours that they are not only expecting, but expecting TWINS!

Of course this led to many fun conversations reminiscing about our past pregnancies and deliveries. One thing we both have in common is that we did not find out the sex of our babies before birth and we loved the excitement of the reveal once that baby came out.

(My friend Alexandra over at Coffee and Coos actually published the story of my last baby’s birth. You can see by the look on my face just how exciting that reveal is once the baby is out!)

For her twin pregnancy, my friend said she was on the fence about finding out the sexes this time around. There are already so many unknowns with a twin delivery, and of course there are more possible combinations of boys and girls. I could see that it could get a little overwhelming.

With both of my pregnancies, I was of course curious to find out if it was a boy or a girl and it was very temping to peak when they did that 20 week ultrasound. But I felt it would be even more fun and exciting to let the baby show us the goods and see for ourselves rather than have a doctor tell us at an ultrasound appointment.

I also liked that my husband could have the important job of announcing “It’s a ….!”

But, having to wait 9 long months to find out if our bundle of joy was a “he” or a “she” was not without it’s challenges. The cons of waiting were:

not being able to buy gender-specific clothes ahead of time (this wasn’t a huge con for me as my favorite color is gray and I hate light pink- but I know it’s hard for most people)

Did you find out the sex of the baby or wait to be surprised? Why did you make the choice that you did?

Newsflash: vintage is always IN. Whether you’re expecting a little boy or girl, taking a look back through the history books can be just the way to find classy and beautiful baby name inspiration. If you’re looking for a gorgeous name that is more timeless than trendy, you’ll love these old fashioned baby names that are ripe and ready for a comeback!

OLD FASHIONED BABY NAMES FOR GIRLS

Is there anything cuter than a precious little girl with the same name as your Grandma? We think not.

One thing I hear all the time from friends who struggled with breastfeeding is “I wish I had done things differently at the start”. Pregnancy is such a whirlwind with all the preparations we make for baby, especially when it’s the first. Many people don’t give much thought to breastfeeding ahead of time, assuming it will just happen naturally after birth. The truth is, being prepared and knowledgeable can be the difference between breastfeeding stress and breastfeeding success.

1. Nurse as soon as possible after birth

Following an uncomplicated delivery, request that the baby be put directly on your chest for skin-to-skin. Just following birth, the baby has a window of time when they are unusually alert and awake so you want to take advantage of this period. Research has shown that babies that attach to the breast within an hour after birth have more successful breastfeeding outcomes months later when compared to babies who were not placed at the breast until 2 hours later or more.

In the event of a C-section or other complications, it may not be possible to breastfeed within that first hour. Just make sure your medical professionals know that you wish to breastfeed as soon as it is safe for baby and mother.

During those first attempts at breastfeeding, some babies immediately latch on correctly and instinctively suck, swallow and breathe correctly. (Remember they have had practice in the womb drinking amniotic fluid and sucking their thumbs!) Other babies will not latch on right away but instead just hold the nipple in their mouth or move their tongue unproductively. This is not cause for concern, and after a few more tries baby should catch on.

2. Meet with a lactation consultant

If your goal is to breastfeed, part of your planning during pregnancy should be to line up a lactation consultant. Many hospitals have their own on hand, or you can ask your OB for a referral for one to meet with you shortly after birth.

A lactaction consultant has expertise at checking to make sure the baby has the proper latch and can fix any latch problems early on. A bad latch can cause damage to mother’s nipples, pain when nursing, poor letdown and subsequently poor supply. Meeting with a lactation consultant while you’re still in the hospital can prevent problems from happening later on. She can also make sure your posture and positioning is correct so you aren’t straining your back while nursing or disturbing your incision if you’ve had a C-section.

Note: I have heard a few stories of people who had a bad experience with a specific lactation consultant. If you are unhappy with yours, do not be afraid to find a different one! She is providing a service to you and if your needs are not being met, by all means have them met elsewhere.

Need help finding a lactation consultant in your area? The United State Lactation Consultant Association makes it easy with this searchable map.

3. Check for tongue tie

Some doctors do this routinely but you should take it upon yourself to make SURE yours does. I have heard a few breastfeeding horror stories centering around an overlooked tongue tie!

Tongue tie, or ankyloglossia as it’s called in the medical world, occurs in about 4% of newborns. It’s when the connective tissue holding the tongue to the bottom of the mouth extends too far. This makes it difficult for the baby to stick out their tongue, as it is seemingly “tied” down to mouth.

There’s a range in how severe tongue ties are. My fourth child was born with a mild tongue tie, meaning that his tongue was attached to the bottom of his mouth farther than normal but he was still able to extend the tongue past his lips. We monitored him at birth to see if he would need to have the procedure done to “snip” the frenulum (called a frenotomy). It turned out not to disturb his nursing so we opted not to do it. He has had no problems with his tongue tie since.

With a more severe tongue tie, the tongue is held almost completely to the bottom of the mouth. When the child attempts to stick out his tongue, the tongue will take on almost a heart-shape appearance as the center is still firmly tied down. Attempting to nurse a baby who can’t extend his tongue will result in painful, unproductive nursing.

Photo credit: Top Health Doctors, Au

4. Feed on demand

Of everything you’ve ever read about what you must do for breastfeeding success, this is THE MOST CRUCIAL.

You can schedule your baby all you want after the first couple months, but in the beginning it is very important to breastfeed on demand. This is how you establish your milk supply.

The law of supply and demand is what regulates the entire breastfeeding process. Nursing frequently is what cues your body to make more milk. If you don’t nurse as often as baby wants, your supply will be too low. In the beginning stages when your body is just figuring out how much to make, it is not wise to go by the clock and try to “hold off” the baby from nursing again. Let nature do its thing and allow baby to determine how much milk you should be producing.

This means you will be breastfeeding very, very often in the first few weeks of your baby’s life.

One of the reasons newborns need to be fed very often is that their stomach is literally the size of a marble at birth. The small amount of colostrum you have to feed them after birth is enough to fill this tiny stomach. But their stomach is too small to keep them satiated for long, and they will need to refill themselves often, sometimes every hour to at the start.

Secondly, breastmilk is very easy for baby to digest. This is part of why it’s a perfect source of nourishment for your little one! It also means it is digested extremely quickly, much quicker than formula (about 1.5 hours vs. 3-4 hours). So even if you feel like you just fed them, they very well maybe hungry again.

It is extremely common and expected to feel like you are constantly feeding your baby during the newborn stage. Prepare for it and accept it!

5. Nothing else in the mouth for 3 weeks

The supply and demand process can be disturbed by giving baby a pacifier to try and buy time until the next feeding. When baby is crying to eat, that is the “demand”. Pacifiers delay the time between the baby demanding food, and you giving them the breast. When you are still trying to regulate your supply this can disturb the cycle.

Many new moms inadvertently sabotage their own supply by worrying that they aren’t making enough milk. They may be tempted to pump and feed the baby bottles to see how much they’re getting. However this can lead to several more problems:

1.) The pump does not drain the breast as well as the baby does, so moms may see the amount they pump and think there is a supply issue when there really is not.

2.) Bottles are less work to drink from than the breast. The baby may decide he prefers the bottle and start to refuse the breast or start latching incorrectly at the breast.

3.) Pumping and feeding from a bottle may satisfy a Mom’s desire to feel “in control” of the feeding process. She may lose faith in her body’s natural ability to provide for her baby.

Remember that frequent nursing in the newborn stage is normal and does not mean the baby isn’t getting enough!

If you are unsure whether baby is getting enough, here are the signs:

A note about nipple confusion: The idea of “nipple confusion” is debatable. Many babies, my own included, had no problem switching back and forth from bottle to breast. However I did not introduce a bottle (or pacifier) to them in their first few weeks of life.

Want to be as prepared as possible for breastfeeding?

The Ultimate Breastfeeding Class from Milkology covers it ALL. If you want to take a breastfeeding class but don’t have one near you or can’t work it into your schedule, this is perfect. The video format feels like you’re learning from a guru in person, but you can do it at home in your sweats whenever works for you.

The course is extremely thorough, and comes with some amazing bonuses like the Common Breastfeeding Issues Troubleshooting Guide, and Tips From Pumping Moms in the Trenches. It costs $19 and at the end you will be that breastfeeding expert that all your friends call when they have problems.

What questions or concerns do you have about breastfeeding? If you’re an experienced mother, what helped (or hurt) you on your breastfeeding journey? Share in the comments!