I had a cable guy stand in my kitchen explaining TV to me for 20 minutes, so I made my friend call me to rush him out/make sure I didn’t get murdered. (Also I’m a touch sad that Sarah wasn’t nominated for I Smile Back, and I think they are missing an opportunity if they don’t ask her to present.)

Jesus Christ my delivery guy just asked if he could come in and eat my nachos w me. DO MEN NOT KNOW WE ARE TERRIFIED OF THEM? Good god