8.30.2013

Veins and Bleeding

Let me begin by saying that I have crappy veins.

I always have, I always will. I'm the person who walks into a lab and announces that I'm a terrible draw. Often, I get the eye-roll. Then they go to draw my blood and either agree with me or tell me that it's not a big deal. More often than not, it's the former. Recently, I had a doctor appointment and had to go to the lab, in the building, for a blood draw. I figured that I would walk over there and do it right then. First, they ask me if the doc wants them to do both test on the sheet. "Um, I think so." I mean, why else would they have ordered it and sent me to the lab? So, then I was nervous that I was supposed to fast. So I went back to the doctor and tried to ask. Of course, by now, he's in with another patient. The nurse thinks that I probably should have fasted for this unexpected bloodwork. I go back and report the findings. Lab: "You don't have to fast for this test."Then what's the problem?! Me: "Well, then I'll just do it today." Naturally, I had to drink a nasty drink and wait an hour. I hadn't officially starved, but I hadn't had lunch that day. I was starving.I told my husband that she was really nice but that I hoped that she could actually draw my blood. Somehow I knew that she wouldn't be able to. I reminded her that I was a bad draw and she ignored me. Now, it had been ages since my last panel. I have one arm that's particularly bad to offer for a blood draw. Naturally, I forgot which it was and let her try it first. She thought that by poking around and wiggling the needle, that it would produce more blood. Fail. Then, she takes my right arm, pulls her arm back, and rams that god damn needle into my arm. I begin to sob. I'm not a fan of blood draws but I'm by no means a wuss. When she rammed my arm, I had excruciating pain, like electricity, down to my fingertips. She then kept asking me if I was alright and scolded me to never let anyone draw from my left arm again. Facepalm. Really, bitch? Really? You hit a fucking nerve in my arm. You don't get to scold anyone right now. She insisted that I eat a sucker on the way out. This was a month ago, and I have lingering pain and numbness. The moral of the story? Go with your gut. Leave when you have a hunch that your phlebotomist is a fucktard who is more concerned about leaving on time than your well being. Also, blood draws suck. Also, some phlebotmists are amazing and you don't even feel the needle. Also, I'm being whiny now. Whatever.