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The Naked Truth, Vol. 53

Apr 04th 2013

Angela, I know, I KNOW, that revenge is bad karma. I'm not keying anyone's car. But tell me why again, in a situation where your significant other is cheating on you with another person also in a relationship, you shouldn't tell the other innocent party. --Gerri

Gerri, remember how badly it felt when you found out your guy was cheating? That sickening, gut-wrenching heartache...Do you really want to be responsible for delivering that kind of news to someone else? Granted, you didn’t cause the harm, but you shouldn’t perpetuate it either.

If you found out, chances are, this other innocent party will too. Stay away from it. The only person that had a responsibility to you and wronged you here is your significant other. You are upset at the situation, but don’t confuse the players or who owed you fidelity.

I’m sure you have already, but dump the cheater. You’re better without him.

Angela, I think I have hangups when it comes to money. I'm a successful and talented young woman, and I am able to support myself and most of my whims. But when it comes to dating, if I meet someone who makes more money than me (I'm talking, a LOT more money) I immediately turn off to them. How can I just relax? I'd love to meet someone successful (and humble). I just worry I'm going to feel like I'm being "bought." Does that make sense? --Melissa

Melissa, let me guess...when Destiny’s Child “Independent Women” comes on in the club, you are the first one up, singing every word. You’re no princess, but rather, a queen. And a queen doesn’t need a man to rescue her.

Good men, yes, even men that might have more money than you, would LOVE to meet a successful self-sufficient woman like yourself. But rich or poor, no guy will be attracted to a woman who judges them on financials alone.

I get it. I’ve seen the guys with flashy cars (and flashy everything else) that don’t appeal to you. They have zero appeal to me either. Don’t associate that guy with all successful men. The flashy guy might want to “buy” your affection, but he’s not all that’s out there. You say you want a successful man. If that’s the case, get over your money issue. Most successful men will have amassed financial rewards. Having, (or not having) money, doesn’t make the man. Character does. A man with character won’t attempt to buy your affection...but if he does offer to buy you a pair of shoes, don’t be an idiot. You take the shoes and say thank you.

Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s weekly dating advice column, The Naked Truth, appears exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook, facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, @essentiallyang.