Lemon Life Lessons: Karaoke Edition

I have a new feature: fictitious questions from imaginary readers. Yay!

Dear Lemon:

That’s your name right? Lemon?* Why else would you have such a dumb blog name about you and your two babies. I know you used to do a lot of karaoke, even though you have never mentioned this on the blog. Do you have any suggestions for which classic rock songs a person should never, ever pick even if they think they sing them the best ever when they are alone in their car?

— Clancy Wiggum

Why yes Clancy, I do have some thoughts on this topic. How ever did you know?

Amy’s Top 5 Classic Rock Songs You Should Never Karaoke If You Aren’t in a Karaoke Competition and maybe not even then…

Oh Sherry Journey Why? First of all, it starts with an acapella into. That would be a bold choice, too bold. Also, Journey songs are really hard to sing.

Take It On The Run REO Speedwagon This song has a crazy weird musical interlude that lasts way longer than it should. And there is more singing after the music so it probably won’t fade out. It’s long and awful, you’re just going to have to stand there knowing everyone is mocking you for picking a super awkward song.

Take It To The Limit The Eagles Slow. Boring. And the take IT part that you picked the song for? Well, it doesn’t happen all that often. Might I suggest

The Joker Steve Miller Band Surprisingly tuneless. This is an excellent drunken group sing, just don’t attempt it solo.

Imagine John Lennon Just don’t. No one ever even likes covers of this song when pros do it. Exception: wedding karaoke See also: Hallelujah Jeff Buckley version. Leave it to American Idol auditions people.

*My name is Amy. I have one child. My blog is called Baby Baby Lemon as a (misguided) Simpson’s reference.