Last week we kicked off our totally unnecessary, subjective coverage of WrestleMania XXX with a very scientific ranking of all 29 WrestleMania main events. Some of you agreed that The Miz vs. John Cena was the worst main event and that the WrestleMania 12 iron man match was overrated, and some of you just don’t understand science.

This week we’re taking a look at the 29 worst celebrity guests in WrestleMania history, and our system of ranking is similar. We’re basing position on categories such as “how much did you ruin your WrestleMania,” “what were the lasting effects of your damage,” “how stupid does this make me feel watching it again on the WWE Network” and “how much did I already hate you before you showed up.” Like I said, science.

Survey our findings and report to us in our comments section below. Also, please share this column so that others may add their input.

I watched World War 3 ’96 the other day, and I forgot that Ultimo Dragon was the Super J Crown Champion or whatever it was called. Part of that championship at the time was the WWF Lightweight Championship. Was Ultimo the only guy to ever defend a technically WWF championship on a WCW show?

I was hoping to see The Rock in the top ten and delighted to know that he ranked fifth. What The Rock did for/to those three Wrestlemanias sucked, and I’m someone who legit enjoyed The Rock in the past.

About the Mickey Rourke bit, Sportscenter in the middle of night is a treasure trove of ridiculous wrestling one liners. When one of Iowa State’s players got elbow bonked in the face and crimson masked al over the place, I think it was Stan Verrett that proclaimed “he was doing his Ric Flair at Starrcade 84 impression.” Good stuff.

I barely ever watch TV anymore, but I was actually by one and caught that awesome line. Robert Flores is the Sportscenter anchor that’s famous for wrestling references (I think he anchored with Verrett a lot back when I used to watch more often), and it definitely comes from a place of legit fandom.

I am convinced that participating in WrestleMania cost Mickey Rourke that Oscar. Because in the eyes of the Academy, “acknowledging the existence of professional wrestling” is worse than “being Sean Penn”

That year’s Wrestlemania took place well after the Oscars. However, Mickey Rourke was making public declarations about how he was going to be involved with Wrestlemania during the Hollywood awards season.

At that year’s SAG Awards, which would’ve occurred during the voting process, Rourke announced that he would be getting in the ring with Chris Jericho for a celebrity match.

Of course, plans changed by the time Wrestlemania took place, but ultimately, it didn’t matter. Rourke’s name was connected to then-current WWE operations. No matter what role Rourke would play in Wrestlemania XXV, it was definitely that connection to the WWE that made snobby Oscar voters think twice about picking Rourke over Penn.

How anything could be worse than “being Sean Penn,” though, I’ll never know.

Wasn’t there some bullsh*t story about Rourke not being able to get insurance to cover a WM match? They’d have been better off dressing up Terry Funk like Randy and going 20 minutes for the reinstated Hardcore Title. Anything would have been better than that sh*t sandwich.

I remember an youtube video she posted of her training, she actually looked pretty good for an celebrity so I remember being somewhat interested to see how she would do. Then she got injured and still did the match and even took an beating, so I’ll give her credit for her toughness.

I always give Maria Menounos appearances a pass because she really is a wrestling fan for real. It’s like when they bring out Make-A-Wish kids on Raw and have them stand on the ramp and flex their muscles. It’s a bit of a waste of time, but hard to get too bugged about.

Isn’t Harry Connick Jr. from New Orleans? I could see him singing America the Beautiful, or something. Unless he’s busy with American Idol (is Idol on right now? Is he still a judge? I proudly know neither of these things).

WAIT A MINUTE. Where’s Liberace? What about Elvira? Morton Downey Jr.? Refrigerator Perry and his Onesie of Doom? And doesn’t Butterbean at least get an honorable mention for taking kayfabe behind the barn, shooting it, beating it with a tire iron for an hour, and setting it on fire?

Elvira was a pretty decent commentator (at least compared to today) and Liberace’s excitement is adorable. Perry was mentioned, but like WM2, only one football player on that show could make it to a top position.

Here’s an article with the standard caveat that I don’t know how much of this is true: [www.wrestlinginc.com]

TL;DR: Melina doesn’t get to be a part of a Wrestlemania match, but Trish Stratus and Snooki do. Her boyfriend John Morrison repeatedly shows resentment toward Stratus before/during Wrestlemania, resulting in everyone getting mad at Morrison and Melina.

I can’t really think of anything else to rank so I hope we might get a ranking of every Wrestlemania from best to worst. We all know that X-7 will be the best, but there’s some serious competition for the bottom of the rankings.

“She was famous and relevant enough at WrestleMania 27 to win a six-man tag and cleanly pin a 4-time Women’s/Divas Champion and eventually cost multiple wrestlers their jobs because of all the drama it involved.”

TL;DR: Melina doesn’t get to be a part of a Wrestlemania match, but Trish Stratus and Snooki do. Her boyfriend John Morrison repeatedly shows resentment toward Stratus before/during Wrestlemania, resulting in everyone getting mad at Morrison and Melina.

I wouldn’t want it at Raw, but I’d be cool with the Popey’s Lady cameo-ing on Raw. I mean, I see her more on Mondays than I do Heath Slater, so why not? It’s the only way Slater’s going to Slate on Raw these days.

I was at WrestleMania 25 and had no idea that Molly Holly, Sunny, Torrie Wilson, and a bunch of other retired Divas made a one-night return because Kid Rock had to sing during the 60 seconds it would have taken Howard Finkel or Lillian Garcia to give them even a half-decent introduction.

Me too guys, I finally created a profile just to comment that monster magnet are in no way nu metal, their new album is also awesome. Otherwise great countdown! Donnie wahlberg as a dick in the box guy wins for me.

I think any musicians who got their own segment are the worst. I expected to see Diddy and Cee-Lo on this list, but then I remembered that at least one of them was actually at Summerslam.

And, on the subject of *best* celebrity guests (but not really), 14-year-old me was pretty excited to see both Pamela Anderson, and classic, not-yet-obsessed-with-junk-science Jenny McCarthy. I can still recall that black & white dress Pamela wore at the ’95 Royal Rumble. Sadly.

Susan St. James doesn’t deserve that. Just sounds like a slightly different spin on the “clueless woman” appearance, which should tie her with the “Where’s the beef” lady. Limp Fred, Dontrump, Kid Rock, or Regular Rock should’ve had the #1 spot.

I have absolutely no memory of those catfight ladies, even though that Wrestlemania happened around the time that I watched wrestling, which suggests I was probably aware of them at some point. I’m oddly proud of having forgotten them so completely.

I hadn’t watched wrestling in 6 years, probably right around the time when Eddie Guerrero died. I hated John Cena, didn’t care about Batista, the heel-Aitch I fell in love with had hit full on burial mode, and all the ECW types I fell in love with when I was younger were vanishing.

Then I saw the Rock was coming back to host Wrestlemania. Hot shit. I loved everything about the rock during the Attitude era. I could watch his promos on an endless loop and never stop being entertained. I watched every Raw after that. He hated John Cena. I hated John Cena. He didn’t care about the Miz. I didn’t care about the Miz. It was perfect. Then I watched Wrestlemania 27. It was the worst shit I’d ever seen in my life. I stopped watching wrestling again for another 2 years, not even caring enough to see who won Rock-Cena I. It completely turned me off from the Rock to the point that I was disgusted when I heard he got put over CM Punk (Who is a nobody to someone who stopped watching wrestling in 2005) at the Royal Rumble, and made it so I didn’t watch another episode of RAW until after WM 29. Good work, Rocky.

I must say that you really let one character from a scripted TV show turn you off the entire program?

I dont know why you have to say good work Rocky. Its more so bad work WWE creative and booking team. Lets not place all the blame on Rock’s head.

Its pretty bad you were gotten to like that. There were plenty of other things WWE had to offer and they did. Rock shouldn’t have made or break anyone viewership. Especially as a part timer. He was hardly there anyway. Oh well, you missed out on some great stuff.

I used to work for my friend who’s a concert promoter, which led to me driving around the singer of Saliva for a couple hours. He was surprisingly nice and talkative. No real ego at all. I mean, it would have been hard for him to even have an ego when I was taking him to Casual Male.