Will the real Michael Bauer please stand up?

From time to time I hear stories of diners claiming to be me in order to get preferential treatment or a free meal. Sometimes it works.

Just last week, several chefs told our Inside Scoop columnist Amanda Berne that a young woman has been going to restaurants claiming to be my assistant. Except I don’t have an assistant.

Several people have had the audacity to tell me they’ve used my name to nab a difficult reservation. Apparently many others claim to be a friend of mine. From what I’ve heard through the years, it appears I have more friends in this town than Willie Brown.

Some scams can get pretty far-fetched: A few years ago a guy made a reservation to a neighborhood restaurant using my name. When he arrived, he told the owners I was running late and would be along shortly, and that he should go ahead and order. After a half hour or so, the owners got a call from someone claiming to be me. I supposedly said that I couldn’t make it, and that I would come by the next day to settle the check. They let the well-fed scam artist walk out the door.

The only thing you can be sure of is that if my name appears on the books, it’s not me. Even when I’m dining for sport, I use other names. I never introduce myself at a restaurant, and I never ask for a free meal.