My Fother’s Day banner! In addition to my banner I was given some great presents, lots of hugs and kisses and brunch. The best part though was listening to the excited chatter as they did their best to be quiet and let me sleep in…

Fatherhood vs. Being a Dad

My father had a little sculpture of a boy and his dad standing by a tree and “Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a Dad” was written on the base. I first became a father when I was a teenager to twins that we placed for adoption. Those kids are now 22 years old and I am not, nor have I ever been their dad. I know a little about who they are today. I also know that other than my biological role I have played no role in who they have become.

I became a Dad for the first time six and a half years ago and in a matter of months I will become a dad for the third time. [Read more…]

For the past few weeks I have been working with, or perhaps that should be running with, my four year old to help her learn to ride a two-wheeler free of training wheels. She is doing well.

When the sun first emerged and melted the snow we got out her starter bike with training wheels from last summer and discovered that it was much too small for her. Some friends of ours gifted us their son’s old bike which was the next size up. As a bonus it has beads on the wheels that clack when she rides. We added some streamers and a red horn and it was ready to go.

It is interesting how memory works. Sometimes memories are powerful and pop-up at unexpected times. Sometimes they come unbidden and other times more consciously on specific dates. Sometimes we just forget. In this particular case, I forgot.

Twenty-two years ago yesterday I became a father for the first time. Until Laura reminded me last night, I had forgotten that it was June 5th and the significance of that date in my life. It’s not like I really forgot my kids birthday. Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their first names) are genetically my kids, but I haven’t seen them since they were 10 days old. I was a teenager and my girlfriend at the time and I decided to place them for adoption. I’ve written and spoken about the whole experience many times in the past and I am not going to repeat it here. If you are interested in the story, you can listen to the radio interview I did on the subject.

So June 5th is a memory marker for me. It is fading with time. I think that happens when you find peace with your memories.

Raising Resilient Children

Over the past few days I have attended a couple of professional development workshops through work that dealt with developing resilience and leadership. I’ve recently become interested in questions around resilience as I ponder how to help my kids to be resilient children who grow into even more resilient adults. [Read more…]