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Thursday, September 26, 2013

It Happened at Daycare

It finally happened.

And it happened at daycare.

Someone made fun of Ryder for not having a dad.

Poor kid. And I am pretty sure that the other kid doesn't see his dad, either.

So Ryder asked me the other day where his dad was. I told him that I didn't know. He asked if he had told me and I explained that I hadn't spoken to him in a long time. I asked if he had any other questions, but he said that he didn't.

He didn't tell me about the kid at daycare, but he told my parents.

I hope he feels comfortable enough to ask me any more questions, if he has any. And hopefully if he doesn't feel comfortable with me, maybe he'll feel comfortable enough to ask my parents.

10 comments:

Kids do talk..my 5 year old came home a few months ago and in relation to a sweet little blonde girl in his daycare he told me her Dad is in jail because he got mad at someone and did a really bad thing! I asked if he knew what the 'thing' was and he told me he put a hole in someone's head. After inquiring about it with his daycare provider she chuckled-he is in jail on drug charges as police were called to his home because of a fight between 2 men there. Such a sweet gal and sweet Mom-I had no idea. We all have different families-it is what makes us all unique and unique can be a good thing!

When my son was a young boy, he'd ask me once in a while, why he never saw his dad. I told him the truth. I don't know why he doesn't come around. As he got older the questions fizzled and eventually stopped. By the time he was in his mid teens, he started giving me Mother's day and Father's day cards. Ryder may not understand it all right now, but he knows who you are.

Yes, unfortunately, many years ago. I also remember when my 4 year old son asked my new (at the time...we had only been married a few months) if he could call him dad. He only had one memory of his bio dad, at the time, and it wasn't a fond one. Growing up in a split home can be so hard on kids...and it's hard on us moms to know what to do and what to say. I wish I could say it gets easier.

Ugh, these would be really hard questions to field! I'm glad he feels comfortable talking to you and his grandparents. I'm sure there are plenty of kids he'll meet in life with similar backgrounds and mixed family dynamics!

I am so sorry someone made fun of him. Sometimes kids make fun of each other when they don't understand something. Sometimes, many times it's hard for kids to be different.

It's hard when they ask questions you don't really understand yourself. Some of my children are adopted. They ask things that I wish I understood. Saying "I don't know," always feels insufficient, but at least it's honest. Your son will grow and understand as he becomes older. the most important way you can help him is by continuing to try to answer his questions, and by being supportive when he inquires from other safe adults.

This is one of my fears ... for my son to be made fun of. No mom wants that for sure. I'm sorry this happened to him and I'm sorry for you too. I know it must have been hard for you. I don't really know what advice to give because I haven't been there yet, but please know you're in my heart. :)

Kids will say and ask almost anything ... It's great that he felt comfortable to talk to you and your parents. And it is good that you asked if he had any more questions. Just knowing he can ask has got to make him feel better!