Disneyland: The Most Dangerous Place on Earth

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA – Efforts go down the drain when longing desires to visit Disneyland result in injuries. While waiting in a never ending line for more than 5 hours for a ride, elderly Anaheim resident, Rose Heartwood, faints. “She just wanted to see ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’,”says 90-year-old Elmer Heartwood, husband of Rose Heartwood. Grandchildren, Emma and Terry, were terrified to hear ambulances take their beloved ‘Grammy’ away. People standing in line behind the old lady were surprisingly glad that they didn’t have to wait for one more person to finish the ride.

“That’s one less person we gotta wait for!”says Texan visitor Fred Ope. While the old lady was being carried from the line to the stretcher, others standing in line were spotted secretly celebrating.

One day earlier, five-year-old Tommy Gaffer had been trampled in a crowd during the renown Disney parade. Not only did he have no place to sit, Tommy had no place to stand and was later found lying on the ground with many injuries. “My poor Tommy’s recovering in the hospital,” said Mrs.Gaffer worriedly. “He was here one moment in the overly priced gift shop and he was gone the next.”

“I thought I was just stepping on a squishy bag’o popcorn,” said Bob Willy, one of the tramplers. “Wait I was jumping on a boy?” asks teenager Robby Topper, one of the major tramplers that gave Tommy a broken arm.

Hopefully Rose Heartwood and Tommy Gaffer get well soon and no more incidents such as these take place at Disneyland…