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Living With Scars

Accepting Where You've Been

yinyangswings - DeviantArt

I have an easier time trusting someone who has scars than someone who has unblemished skin. I'm not sure what it is, but scars tell the stories of where you've been in life. And if you've gone through life unscathed then it is likely we won't have a great deal in common.

Now, not all scars are physical. I understand that and take that into consideration. But let's just talk about the physical ones for the time being. The scars that you can see. The scars that you can touch and remember. Let's talk about the stories written onto our skin. The stories that will never really go away.

I've never been the girl who was worried about getting a scar. In fact, I'm a little disappointed that some of the more notable ones from my childhood have faded away. They each had stories attached to them of adventure and misfortune. And now they are just memories in my mind.

My scars remind me of the time I fell off my bike. They remind me of the time I burnt my arm on the four-wheeler muffler. They remind me of the time I ran into a wall racing to see Inspector Gadget on television. They remind me of the child I brought into the world. They remind me of all the cuts and scrapes throughout life. They remind me that I've made it this far.

Some people obsess about scars. They spend their lives trying to erase them, cover them up, and make them disappear. There is something about an unblemished body that people crave, and I've never understood that craving.

Scars tell us where we have been. Whether they are scars from adventures or surgery or times when life was almost impossible. The marks on your skin are a reflection of your past. They are a conversation waiting to happen. You just have to be willing to talk about them.

There is an element of shame with some scars. If you self-harmed in the past, you may not be proud of that. But it was part of who you are and it is part of what has made you into who you are today.

Perhaps you had a major surgery and there is no way the scar will ever disappear. Don't hide it. It is not your job to make other people feel comfortable. It is not your responsibility to always be flawless. You have been through something. You are changed because of it. Do not hide that change.

Perhaps you have scars from your days of adventure. Do not be ashamed of these. Do not try to hide them or cover them up. They are proof that you tested the limits of your body and are still standing today. They are proof that you have lived.

Scars mean different things to different people. I have never been ashamed or embarrassed by my scars, but I certainly understand why some people are. I have always embraced my scars. I have always looked at them as milestones in life. I will continue to regard them as such because I know that they are part of me. I know how they came to be.

I have always found you can get to know a person well by the scars they've accumulated in life. You learn what kind of person they are. And it is rare that we get the chance to learn about people in a genuine and intimate fashion. It is rare that you see a person's true self.

Scars are the stories of our past and they cannot be erased. So, embrace them. Cherish them. Be proud of them, no matter how they came to be on your body. Scars are the proof that you have walked through the fire and come out the other side.