Everyone is, as should be expected, filled with interest and excitement regarding the fascinating turnout of last night’s Iowa caucuses. The message – candidates can surprise ya, especially in Iowa!

Even though only 1.4% of Iowa is Asian, we love the thought of our Midwestern black-haired-almond-eyed brethren shuffling through the cold to their caucus locations, choosing their caucus seats carefully, and making a tangible impact on the direction of this election. How we love our caucusing Asian brethren! Caucus-asians! Cauc-asians! Oh wait, shit, that “Caucasian” is already taken…a brand new word ruined before it even began.

Anyway, keep it up, and that means you, future Caucus-ers! You Rock-us! We are also pretty sure you didn’t shuffle for the nerd on the left.