Absolutely - what DOES a 34 year old see in a 17 year old school kid? Nothing at all about being gay, all about the huge age gap and where this could lead for my son who really is not emotionally equipped to handle it at all. I have already looked into the sexting issue - totally illegal for this man to possess such images, even if they were willing sent by my son, and my son himself is actually putting himself at risk of legal prosecution, the thought of which terrifies me. It all just confirms even further how out of his depth he is. Thanks for the information - I really did not know who to go to for help with this. I Googled like a mad woman but nothing came up by way of support, except for this page.
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Thank you for your reply. Yes, both he and I have spoken to his psychiatrist (she is a well-known child and adolescent psychiatrist) and she has counselled him at length about her great concern regarding his online activities. She is concerned that he is very vulnerable, very easily manipulated and very easy to be taken advantage of. Totally against my wishes, he goes on Grinder and Scruff and other gay meeting sites, which he claims is purely to find friends, people to talk to, as the area we live in isn't exactly teeming with gay teenagers that he can befriend. He also finds social situations very stressful and has few friends, so online 'invisible' friendships are much easier for him. These websites require you to be over 18 but obviously it's no effort to get around that. He also has weekly appointments with the school counsellor, although the conversations he has with her are not made available to me. He has a lot of extra support at school and I am in contact with his school frequently (almost daily, it seems, some weeks). I agree that this is most definitely an ethical matter, first and foremost and, in my opinion, upon finding out my son is underage and still at school, this man should have shut-down the contact. Thanks for the contact details of LawAccess. I will give them a call.
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My 17 year old son is gay. No issues around it; he is fully supported and accepted by his entire family. He has never been in a relationship before. He struck up an online friendship with a man who is 34. We live in NSW and this person lives in VIC. They have been conducting their friendship for nearly six months. They speak daily on the phone and on FaceTime, as well as text. He has sent my son a very expensive pair of headphones. He now wants to come to Sydney so he and my son can meet 'in person'. Obviously, the age gap is of great concern. It has nothing to do with him being gay; I would have the same concern if it were my straight daughter was in this position. My son has high functioning Asperger's and is currently under the care of a Psychiatrist for anxiety and depression, for which he takes daily medication. He is a very vulnerable young man who has a terrible relationship with his father (we are divorced) and they are not in contact with each other, so he really doesn't have a strong, competent male role model. My son and I have had several heated discussions (as well as quite a few calm ones) about his relationship with this man, who he claims is his 'soul mate' and the 'love of his life' and this man claims to feel the same way about my son. My son has told me he has sent this man compromising pictures of himself, and I expect the same is true is reverse, although my son hasn't confirmed this. There is no point trying to put an end to it - it will only drive my son to take it underground. At least at the moment he is still talking to me about it. We made an agreement that he had to focus on his studies (he is a straight A student but has dropped the ball lately) and that the hours long phone calls every night had to stop. Basically, I agreed to let it continue but they had to cool the jets a bit so my son could focus on his HSC, which he will be sitting next year. We agreed that there would be no physical meeting until my son had completed his HSC by which time he would be 18, so this sudden notice that the man wants to come to Sydney has caused great upset and concern. My son doesn't seem to understand the implications of the age difference; all he cares about is that he is 'in love' and now considers himself to be in a committed relationship. I don't want my son being taken advantage of. This is a school boy who, whilst being mature in some ways, still plays lightsaber battles with his little brothers and rides his skateboard out on the street with all the neighbourhood kids. He needs everything done for him - he is completely incapable of completely taking care of himself. He is still very much a child, in my opinion. Today I received a very long email from this man in which he confirmed that he loves my son and despite the age difference, which he admits is problematic, he doesn't have any ill intent or ulterior motives. The heart wants what the heart wants, kind of thing. I called LifeLine because I don't know what to do. The person I spoke to agrees with me that this is a case of child grooming. She advised me to go to the police. I don't want to ruin this mans life or cause any trauma to my son at this precarious time in his life. But I also need to advocate for, and protect my child. All my instincts tell me this is wrong. I have searched online and I can't find any information at all about the legalities of this situation. Everything regarding child exploitation and grooming seems to cut off at 16 years of age. Can anyone help? Does anyone have information - a web link or article - that confirms a child is still a child until they turn 18? Anything at all would be of enormous assistance. Am I wrong about this? What are your opinions on this situation - any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for your patience in reading this long post
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