Internet Recovery Program And More ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010
Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click
on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up.
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html
OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
Van Wert, OH 45891
*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY!
================
>-->2 Hot off the 'Shangy' Press :)
These first two come from forwards from our friend Vivian.
We all love a good animal story and this one about Jasmine
sure is a heartwarmer! Check it out here...
__
/ \
/ ..|\
(_\ |_)
/ \@'
/ \
_ / ` |
\\/ \ | _\
\ /_ || \\_
\____)|_) \_) Ruth Ginsberg
Jasmine The Greyhound
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jasmine.html
This next one is a collection of absolutely superb wildlife
photos. The photographers are amazing! They make you feel as
if the animal is right there in front of you. Check it out...
,.
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`-, ,' `. `"""""' ,' `-. ,' , `-. -->From TheFunnyBone: A Great Writer Once Wrote...
________________________.--------.
There was once _.--'\\ \ \ (__________`;.__
a young man -->From Our Friend Sandi :)
,"=-.
/ _),`'".
( /a( ), )
) C = = ?/
( )) (_ o-<
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gpyy \_!
>I owe My Mother...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16.. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23.. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25.. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"
"Life isn't about how you survive the storm, but how you dance in the
rain"
---
...Teehee! Thanks Sandi!
=======================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Wesley :)
____
|| |
||___|
_)__12-Step Internet Recovery Program
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like
I used to, before the Internet.
(soda pop works here right?)
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand
typing.
(Who eats breakfast?)
3) I will get dressed before noon.
(That's pushing it!)
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan
dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
(Easy one - this one I already do!)
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends
and family that are Internet-deprived.
(Good luck reading my writing now - way outta practice!)
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the
Internet.
[Easy - Just use my magic jack and It is almost as free.)
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
[Those are on-line aren't they?)
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling
them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
(Easy! - they are all busy on the net.)
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
(What tv? - oh yeah at dead head times)
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is
necessary or not.
(Easy! Gotta get t-paper and pop any way.)
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance
my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
(Who writes checks? On-line banking - duh!)
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime
... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
[Easy - too much work and I turn into a dead head)
---
...LOL! Tuff List here Wesley!
Boy this is harder then it looks! But (Sporting my best Sponge-Bob
impression), 'I'm Ready! - I'm Ready!' NOT! HaHa Thanks Wesley!
======================================================================
>-->In The WorldlyNews:
[POLITICS]
>From Patriot Update:
ObamaCare: A Test Of Manhood?
http://tinyurl.com/y89ac4n
Rahm Emanuel "Would Sell His Own Mother" For Votes
http://tinyurl.com/ybud48x
-<>-
>From Newsmax: ObamaCare 3.0 - The Worst Bill Ever
It's a Half Baked, Half Hearted, Sloppy Mess that Will Cost Over
$1 Trillion!
The President released his own version of the twice-rejected healthcare
reform bill, aka ObamaCare 3.0. The American people took to the
streets, invaded town halls, flooded the Capitol switchboard with phone
calls and even elected a Republican in Ted Kennedy's Senate Seat to STOP
ObamaCare 1.0 and ObamaCare 2.0.
So, what makes ObamaCare 3.0 any different?
NOTHING! It is Still a Government Takeover of Health Care. This new
scheme defrauds America with a plan that repackages the same approach
already taken by the U.S. Senate. A scheme that Americans have already
rejected in the Latest Rasmussen Poll - as 56% Oppose ObamaCare!!!!
What makes it even worse, this bill is a slopped together, hasty,
half-hearted mess. This bill is simply designed to trick Americans into
believing that the bill is a bipartisan bill that reconciles the House
and Senate bills.
The President had not put forward actual bill language, but rather has
re-branded and made changes to the Senate-passed bill, H.R. 3590, in
order to gain the support of more liberal House members .
Honestly, this White House should be ashamed of itself for not even
trying to respond to the public's demand for affordability, choice and
transparency The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) cannot
even score the latest ObamaCare scheme because it lacks enough substance
and detail to do so.
White House spokesman Dan Pfeiffer said, "We took our best shot at
bridging the differences (in the House & Senate Bills)." If this is the
"best shot" the White House has to offer, then it is time for the
President Obama to admit he is not up to the task. Time to hit the Reset
Button and START OVER.
The Wall Street Journal reported ObamaCare is the Worst Bill Ever with
epic new spending and taxes, pricier insurance, rationed care, and
dishonest accounting.
The President's proposal still contains:
* Mandates and Higher Premium The proposal maintains the individual
mandate and the Senate's "free-rider" employer mandate that will
increase individual premiums by up to 30 percent according to the
Congressional Budget Office
* DEEP Cuts to Medicare and HEFTY tax increases to pay for the
expansion and creation of new entitlement programs: Specifically the
proposal increases cuts Medicare Advantage plans, cuts what doctors and
hospitals are paid to treat seniors, raises the Medicare payroll tax
even higher (adding it to a tax on earned income in addition to a tax on
"high income individuals") and adds a new tax on every American who owns
stocks or bonds.
* No real medical liability reform: No changes to the insufficient
medical liability provisions as passed in the Senate bill.
* New bureaucratic boards that dictate how doctors practice medicine
and gives government agencies control over what new technologies health
plans can provide. : Maintains provisions such as the comparative
effectiveness research board (Patient Centered Outcomes Research
Institute, the Independent Medicare Advisory Board (IMAB) or "MedPAC on
steroids", and more. Americans will be forced to select from health
plans with benefits restricted by government bureaucrats.
* A form of a government-run plan: The proposal allows the federal
government to shut down private health plans and replace them with
public health coverage
* Sweetheart deals for Every State: It extends the "Louisiana
Purchase", various provisions of the "Cornhusker kickback", carve outs
for unions, and many more to every state .
* Broken promises: Obama set several parameters, including that the
bill would cost under $900 billion, not raise taxes on those making
under $250,000, families' health insurance premiums will go down by
$2,500 a year, and if individuals liked what they had they could keep it
- however none of these promises are keppt.. They are broken twice over
by President's rewrite of the Senate bill.
Sign the Petition Now!
http://tinyurl.com/yl32lyz
Stand with JD Hayworth - The ONLY Conservative in the AZ Senate Race.
Demand that Congress and the President Toss ObamaCare 3.0 in the TRASH
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
-- Cold War bunker for sale on eBay ------------
DERBY, England - Online bids for a British nuclear bunker
dating back to the Cold War era are approaching $30,000
on eBay. The underground bunker, constructed in 1959 as
a Royal Observer Corps post to monitor nuclear fallout,
is advertised on eBay as a "rare opportunity the acquire
a piece of Cold War history," The Telegraph on Sunday
reported. Bidding for the Derbyshire, England, bunker
reached $29,525 Monday after 39 bids. "The bunker is in
a perfect location on farmland and offers the freedom of
having your own land and bunker, but with the security of
being on private land which is fenced and securely gated,"
the auction's description reads. Bidding closes on the
property March 7.
-- Scuba smuggler spotted in sewer ------------
DOUGLAS, Ariz. - U.S. Border Patrol officials in Arizona
said someone outfitted in scuba gear was spotted in a
sewer along the U.S.-Mexico border with two bundles of
marijuana. The Border Patrol Douglas Station said a bike
patrol was dispatched to a sewer outlet Friday after
infrared cameras picked up signs of people illegally
crossing into the United States from Mexico, The Arizona
Republic reported. The agents said the bike patrol spotted
someone in scuba gear wading through waist-high water with
two bundles of marijuana. The person dropped the bundles
and turned back toward Mexico upon seeing the agents,
spokesman Omar Candelaria said. The bundles, containing
55 pounds of marijuana, were recovered by the agents.
However, Candelaria said the smuggler evaded capture.
-<>-
>From The Archives Of 2008 Co0ffeBreak:
Alleged drunken engineer nabbed by police
An allegedly drunken engineer was caught by police in
southwest Poland as he tried to speed away in his freight
train, then allegedly offered them a bribe. The engineer,
whose identity was not revealed, was reportedly heavily
intoxicated when police stopped him before his train, which
was transporting oil, managed to pick up speed, the Polish
Web site news.pl reported Wednesday. The man allegedly
offered 300 liters of oil to the officers to let him go.
If convicted, the man faces two years in prison for driving
under the influence of alcohol and another eight years for
attempted bribery, news.pl said. The amount of alcohol in
his blood was six times the legal limit, police alleged,
which is 0.2 grams per liter, as recommended by the European
Commission in Brussels.
Two teens charged in poo-tossing incident
Two O'Fallon, Mo., teens face third-degree assault and
property damage charges for allegedly slinging a bag of
feces that coated a pregnant woman in poop. Justin Keiser
and Kyle Medley, both 17, were allegedly part of a group of
six teenagers that concocted and executed the prank at a
local Walgreens store, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported
Wednesday. Police said Keiser masterminded the plan and
drove the minivan that carried the teenagers to the store.
Medley allegedly provided the feces. The bag struck a
security scanner inside the entrance of the store, and its
contents were sent flying into merchandise, a carpet and
Ivette Geusz, a pregnant 37-year-old teacher. Geusz said
some of the feces went into her mouth and she faces six
months of tests to ensure she and her baby did not catch
any diseases from the incident. "I'm glad they charged
them," Geusz said. "I wish they could find more charges."
She said Keiser and Medley came to her school to apologize,
but she sent them away because she did not believe their
remorse was genuine. "I'd love to see them in jail," she
said. "I'd love to see that because what they did is just
horrendous."
Dead body used in check-cashing scheme
New York police have detained two men who brought a dead
body to a check-cashing business and attempted to cash the
dead man's Social Security check. Police said the two men
rolled the body of Virgilio Cintron, 66, down the street
in an office chair and left him outside a window of the
Pay-O-Matic check-cashing store while they attempted to
convince the clerk that Cintron was waiting outside while
they cashed the check, the New York Sun reported Wednesday.
However, the clerk informed the men that Cintron would have
to come inside to cash the check, and the two men were
confronted outside the store by a police officer who was
altered by passersby reacting to the sight of the dead body.
Police said the men, identified as a roommate and a friend
of the deceased, could face criminal impersonation or check
fraud charges.
==================================================================
spring is in the air...
\ boooooh!
\ /
_/\_/\ __(\___/)___
(, (o\\/ \_/_ _ (__/
/` _ /\ ), (o \
/~ _//\ \___ /_ / \___
\_('|| ~ || \ \__,-' ~ || \
||____||/ \ ||____||/ \
| === | \_\ | === | \_\
_| . |_/ ) _/| . |_/ )
_____ / | | / /\_____/ /| | / /\_______
| (_(| - (_(/ \_\| - \_\/ |
| | | | | |
| | ' | | ' | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | |
| |__'____| |__'____| |
| || || || || |
|b'ger____/ /\/ /\___________/ /\/ /\_________|
(_(_(_(_/ /_/_/_/_/
>-->POLITICALLY CORRECT SCHOOL
* No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing
impaired."
* You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit
delayed."
* Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage
restrictive."
* These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically
declined."
* Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just
"closure prohibitive."
* Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social
speed bumps."
*Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-
notebook experience."
* You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing conscious-
ness."
* You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival
time."
* You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from
"rebellious follicle syndrome."
* You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive
athletic footwear."
* No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."
* You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
* You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
* You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating
in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
* You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're
"going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative
building."
* It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy trans-
mission of near-factual information."
* The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's
"digestively challenged."
==========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/|
/ /######/ / |
/ /______/ / |
========================= /||
|_______________________|/ ||
| \****/ \__,,__/ ||
|===\**/ __,,__ || Joe Jacques
|______________\====/%____||
| ___ /~~~~\ % / |
_| |===|=== / \%_/ |
| | |###| |########| | /
|____\###/______\######/__|/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station
mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When
I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew
was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who
was standing behind the store counter.
She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two
weeks."
-<>-
Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss, Woody, and
his wife celebrated by staying at the same resort hotel. On
their 25th anniversary they booked their usual room. But
when the hotel's bell captain escorted them upstairs, they
were in for a big surprise. "There must be some mistake,"
Woody said. "This looks like the bridal suite."
"It's okay," the bell captain reassured him. "If I put you
in the ballroom, that doesn't mean you have to dance."
-<>-
/X \
_------_
/ \
| |
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| / \/ \
/\/\ (o )o )
/c \__/ --.
\_ _-------'
| / \
| | '\_______) Do Re Mi Beer -
| \_____)
|_____ | by Homer J. Simpson
|_____/\/\
/ \
unknown
DOUGH... The stuff that buys me beer.
RAY... The guy that sells me beer.
ME... The guy who drinks the beer
FAR... The distance to my beer.
SO... I think I'll have a beer.
LA... La la la la la la beer.
TEA... No thanks, I'm drinking beer.
That will bring us back to...
...Looks into an empty glass and says...
___ _____
.'/,-Y" "~-.
l.Y ^.
/\ _\_ "Doh!"
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l ] o !__./
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j Y
->Homer-
A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City
and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him
immediately gives him a verbal jab, "They don't serve beer
here, gerry! Where do you think you are?"
The German fellow felt embarrassed for a moment, however
he turned to the New Yorker and begins to chuckle.
"And what's so funny?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really," he said with a heavy accent, "I just
realized you actually came here for the food!"
-<>-
"Nice dog. What's its name?" I asked my friend's 10-year old
son.
"Bob," he said.
"And what's your cat's name?"
"Bob."
"Well, how do you keep them straight?" I asked.
"Well, one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker," the boy
answered.
"Go ahead and tell him your rabbit's name," his father
suggested.
The kid smiled and said... "Dennis Hopper."
-<>-
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the
one that says..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-
GAMBLER." So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six.
The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
-<>-
At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called
and said, "I need a baseball quote."
I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't
over 'til it's over!"
There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked,
"What was that?"
"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded, "and that
was the first thing that came into my head."
"Oh," she replied. "My husband told me to call and get a
baseball quote."
I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she
did. Then it dawned on me: "Do you mean you want a ballpark
figure?"
===============================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
__________
|DAILY NEWS|
|&&& ======|
|=== ======|
|=== == %%$|
|[_] ======|
|=== ===!##|
ejm97 |__________|
IMPORTANCE OF PROOF READING
* IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting
enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make
the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words
"state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."
* It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-
shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher
Appreciation Day.
* There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which
stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting.
It should have been trap shooting.
* There are two important corrections to the information in
the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development
program. First, the program will include meditation, not
medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.
* In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter
Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the depart-
ment is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo."
We apologize for our mistake.
* Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar
Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a
typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a
detective on the police farce.
* In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of
Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee
Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.
* Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed
sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that
typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."
* In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate
number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's
Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call
for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.
* The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton,
which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a
mistake which we wish to correct.
=============================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
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A boy had just pulled a large weed from the soil. When his mother said,
"My, you were strong to get that out!" The boy answered, "I sure was,
the whole earth had hold of it!"
-<>-
As the weather grew cooler, Grandmother reminded her four year old
granddaughter, Talia, "Close the door. There's a cold draft coming in."
Talia got a strange look on her face. A little apprehensive, but amazed
and curious, she ran to the door and looked this way and that.
Then, still curious but a little disappointed she turned to her
grandmother and asked, "Where's the cold giraffe?"
-<>-
The kindergarten teacher asked her students what color they would get if
they mixed blue and yellow. A little boy immediately shouted, "Green!"
The teacher impressed with the quick response, asked the boy how he
knew. "My mommy puts the blue stuff in the potty and when I do pee, it
turns green."
-<>-
,==o
//
// xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
// /_/ | x__[__]____ ______
//_.-._ | | |[___________] / + |
//%.o-o-' '-'(_)= (_(_)(_) '-o---o-'
n4biS
Ray's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The
firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked
the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" Ray's hand shot up and the
firefighter called on him. "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready."
-<>-
A little girl stared questioningly at her grandfather. Finally she
asked, "Grandpa, were you on Noah's Ark?" The grandfather replied with a
slight chuckle, "Of course not." Then the girl asked, "Then how come you
didn't drown?"
-<>-
A teacher was explaining the story of Noah and his ark to her young
students. She asked the class if they thought Noah did a lot of fishing
during the flood. "No," said a bright boy, "he only had two worms."
-<>-
Q: John F. wrote to ask, "Where and how did the term "laughing stock"
originate; as in, ‘He was the laughing stock of the department.’"
A: Good one. I hadn’t thought of that one before. Here’s what I found.
The phrase "laughing stock" comes from the ridicule of those placed in
"stocks" as punishment.
According to the Random House Unabridged Dictionary the phrase appeared
in print before Shakespeare was born, although Shakespeare did use the
expression in Merry Wives of Windsor.
SIR HUGH EVANS [Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS] Pray you let us not be
laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and
I will one way or other make you amends.
-<>-
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/\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% |
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`-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._)
gpyy
>Why English Teachers Have Nightmares
Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.
26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
any pH cleanser.
27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
to the wall.
========================================================================
>-->From SermondFodder:
>Missing Church
A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing
the morning sevice. "I'm sorry I missed you this morning",
the pastor saids.
"Well, Rev'rund", the farmer replied,"I had some hay to put up.
I figured it was better to sit on a bale of hay thinking
about God than to sit in church thinking about hay."
-<>-
I know that this may not apply to your country but it certainly
does in mine. It certainly is not this way in Zimbabwe right now if it
ever was.
In America we used to appreciate the little that we had. It seems
now that so many of us can only think of what we don't have and want.
May the Lord help us to understand the secret to contentment that
Paul explains in Philippians 4:11-13.
-Keith the Fodder Guy
>Choosy Beggars
.-'''''-.
|'-----'|
/`-.....-`\
| -->Fun Places To Net Visit :)
Texas Outhouse Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html
Pencil Furniture
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencilf.html
Japan's Crop Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cropart.html
Amazing Air Cars
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html
Awesome School
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gschool.html
Life's Little Oops 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops2.html
Strange Hotels
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hotel.html
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Baby Boomer Women
http://www.boomergirl.com/
Disney Character Bushes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneybush.html
Ripley's - Believe It or Not!
http://www.ripleys.com/
Olympic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/es3.htm
Perception
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkj89.htm
Person Of The Week
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksdaa.htm
Puppy VS Mirror
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjdskjd.htm
Recession USA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklslkw.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
===================================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The Bolshoi Ballet in Russia has fired one of Russia's best
known ballerinas after some of the male dancers complained
she was too fat to lift. They called her the nutcracker."
--Jay Leno
"Welcome to the "Late Show". Some of these jokes will require
some assembly." --Dave Letterman
"Nearly 75 percent of older Americans say they’re in favor
of legalizing medical marijuana. You thought Grandma’s
house smelled funny before..."
-Jay Leno
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Hollywood is ruled by fear and love of money, but it can't rule me
because I'm not afraid of anything and I don't love money.
-- Marlon Brando
A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.
-- John Lubbock
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that
more people worry than work.
-- Robert Frost
"Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is,
however, a prejudice that many people have been able to
overcome." --Winston Churchill
NORA CHARLES (Myrna Loy): "They say you were shot in the
tabloids."
NICK CHARLES (William Powell): "They never got near my
tabloids." --THE THIN MAN, 1934
[Hey, this was racy stuff for 1934.]
OTIS B. DRIFTWOOD (Groucho Marx): "It's alright, that's in
every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause."
FIORELLO (Chico Marx): "You can't fool me! There ain't no
Sanity Claus." --A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, 1935
OSCAR MADISON (Walter Matthau): "I cannot stand little notes
on my pillow! 'We are all out of cornflakes, F.U.' It took
me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger."
--THE ODD COUPLE, 1968
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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FUN URLS
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Pass this on as it should be of interrest to all who served.
The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans.
ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3
VV
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
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