Evidence for God

Evidence For God

This is not literally evidence for the existence of god but a short science fiction
story, about what would happen if the creators of the universe decided to reveal
themselves.

Don was in his mid sixties, unusually handsome, fit and overworked. Saturday was
Don’s favourite day. On Saturday he treated himself with a cup of fresh ground
fair trade
Ethiopian Harrar coffee, the best coffee anyone on earth had access too. He was
tucking in to a plate of free range scrambled eggs with garlic and cheddar,
his favourite breakfast. He was listening to CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation)
Radio 1 FM.

Suddenly the broadcast stopped. There was 5 seconds of
silence. Then a voice came on that sounded like three people talking precisely at once in
sync. It said, We are the creators of the universe. You have been
telling myths and lies about us. You have 7 days to stop and
destroy all libelous documents about us.

There was another 5 seconds of silence and the
CBC
broadcast resumed in mid word. What the heck was that? Don
asked himself. Is the CBC
pulling off some sort of Orson Welles War Of The Worlds hoax?

Don knew enough to stay away from Twitter. All the people there would do is repeat the
silliest rumours. On CNN (Cable News Network) he
discovered a video clip of an emergency broadcast from the president. He had first to
listen to a commercial for an SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle), but then the president said in essence, Stay calm. We have this under control. We will catch and punish the
perpetrators. God will not be mocked!

Pat Robertson explained the broadcast was actually Satan awoken from his slumber by
two lesbians getting married in the Maldives. He announced his $1 billion campaign to conquer Satan. If he did not raise $1 billion within the week, Satan would surely drown the earth in pus,
to punish everyone for not giving him the money.

It turned out the radio broadcast had been heard simultaneously, on all FM channels,
in all native languages and that all FM broadcast towers had simultaneously failed
during the substitute broadcast. A few people were calling this a miracle and this was
evidence the speaker(s) was/were indeed the creators of the universe as claimed. However,
most people, lead by televangelist Joyce Meyer, pooh poohed the notion. This was no
miracle. A proper miracle was turning water into wine, or making buns appear out of
nowhere.

Of course, almost nobody complied with the request to destroy all the bibles,
Qur’ans
and speculative religious literature.

Exactly seven days later there was a similar broadcast. This time it said Apparently you all thought this was a prank, that we are not really the creators
of the universe. We offer you some evidence we feel should be convincing. Have your
scientists look at 999999 999999 999999 (some celestial coordinates). Sorry, I did
not write the coordinates down myself and neither did my friend Don.

NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) scientists turned the Hubble telescope to this part of the
sky and noticed to their astonishment than a new celestial body, about the size of the
moon, spherical, that was not there the last time they looked. They tracked it for a few
days and announced it would smash into the earth in about 100
years. Surprisingly, almost nobody was much alarmed since they would all be dead
by then. They tracked it a few more days and announced it would not smash into earth
after all, but neatly tuck into orbit, on the opposite side of earth from the moon.
NASA announced, The mysterious
broadcasters may not have created the entire universe, but they can at least create a
moon. That is very impressive, far greater than anyone on earth can do. I think we should
comply. They are obviously much more technologically advanced that we are.

When Richard Dawkins was contacted for comment he said, I cannot
say for sure if these beings are the creators of the universe, (I rather doubt it), but I
can say for certain there is much more evidence that they are than there is for that
wretched Yahweh..

Don caught a CBC interview with Lester Crossman, the winner of the Halifax
Science fair that year. Lester gushed that the new moon would royally screw up the tides. He had written a Java Applet on his website
that did an first cut approximation of predicting the tides at Peggy’s Cove once
the new moon had settled into place.

The scientists are all lying. That moon thing was there all
along. The holy spirit told me. Who do you trust God or science? Are we mice or
men? accused Benny Hinn at his $2 billion
fundraising launch.

This is outrageous. How dare these heathens demand we destroy the
living word of God. Over my dead body! bravely shouted televangelist Joel Osteen,
as he announced his $3 billion campaign to fight the
imposter Gods for the one true God.

The second 7 days passed. There was no broadcast. Instead
all over the earth there were mighty thunderstorms that sent strike after strike, burning
to the ground any church or dwelling containing even one of the calumnious books.

Peter Popoff, whose electronic church was intact, spared
by a loophole because it contained no written materials of any kind, decided to exploit
the panic with one of his bigger lies and announced the good news. The world is ending in 7 more days. Quick! send me all
your money. Every dollar you have left will be a ticket to hell if the god Yahweh
catches you with it. I am protected by a green holy prosperity shield. I do this
sacrifice in love of Jesus as a holy service to you. God commanded me to.