Viva veggies: Say goodbye to bacon, boys

Veggie burrito. Yum. I can do this. Photo: SweetOnVegLet’s get one thing straight: I love me some meat.

Yes, yes, I’m familiar with the horrors and iniquities of industrial meat farming. After all, I read Grist! I have written myself that vegetarianism is the ethically superior option. Whether the arguments are based on environmental degradation, animal cruelty, or health, vegetarianism pretty much wins them all. You should be a vegetarian, and so should I!

But I’m not. I tried to for a while, but it just didn’t stick. That’s because I love me some meat. The smell, the texture, the juices, the mouth feel — all of it. It leaves me feeling full and satisfied like nothing else can, and yes, I’ve tried beans and quinoa and bulgur and all the other veggie options that are supposed to be as heavy and substantial as meat. They’re just not the same. Veggie burritos are pale imitations of the real thing.

Still, Grist threw me a challenge and I accepted, because Grist is awesome, and I’d say that even if I didn’t work here. For one week, my family — me, my wife, and two very hungry boys — is going vegetarian.

For Huck, my 5-year-old, it won’t be a problem. He decided earlier this year, with no prompting from us, that he’s a vegetarian already. He loves animals and wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up, so when he found out that every bit of meat on our plates was the result of someone killing an animal, well, that was it. He was never that big on meat anyway. Mostly he’s into fruit — as in, fruit is about 90 percent of his diet (the other 10 percent consists of veggie dogs, hard-boiled eggs, and pickles). He will eat himself sick on fruit if we let him. The rest of us, though, are meat lovers.

When I announced the plan, Griffin, my 7-year-old, said, “But Dad, I don’t even work there!” And he’s kind of got a point. But who said life was fair?