Applejack: It's a reenactment of the founding of Equestria. It's not the 'Rainbow Dash Show'.

Rainbow Dash: Well it should be the 'Rainbow Dash Show'! I'm the star!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, you've got to come out of there!

Spike: Curtain in two minutes!

Pinkie Pie: Twilight, let me handle this.

Rarity: My hair!

Twilight Sparkle: PINKIE!

Pinkie Pie: [shivers]

Applejack: The Hearth's Warming Eve pageant is about harmony and friendship.

Other main cast: Shut the window!

Spike: [sighs]

[music]

Spike: [with a faux British accent] Once upon a time, long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart... by hatred!

Audience: [gasp]

Spike: [normal voice] I know. Can you believe it? [accent] During this frightful age, each of the three tribes – the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies – cared not for what befell the other tribes, but only for their own welfare. In those troubled times, as now, the Pegasi were the stewards of the weather. But they demanded something in return. Food that could only be grown by the Earth ponies.

Audience: [whispering]

Spike: The unicorns demanded the same, in return for magically bringing forth day and night. And so, mistrust between the tribes festered, until one fateful day, it came to a boil. And what prompted the ponies to clash? 'Twas a mysterious blizzard that overtook the land, and toppled the tribes' precarious peace.

Spike: The normally industrious Earth ponies were unable to farm their land.

[wind blowing]

Spike: The Earth ponies were freezing. The home of the Pegasi fared no better. The Pegasi were hungry. And the unicorns were freezing and hungry. Even the unicorns' magic was powerless against the storm. Each tribe blamed the others for their suffering, and the angrier everypony grew, the worse the blizzard became. And so it was decided that a grand summit would be held to figure out a way to cope with the blizzard.

Spike: Each tribe sent their leaders.

[fanfare]

Spike: Daughter of the unicorn king, Princess Platinum.

[fanfare]

Spike: Ruler of the Pegasi, Commander Hurricane. And lastly...

[fanfare with kazoos]

Spike: ...leader of the Earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead. Perhaps the three tribes could finally settle their differences, and agree on a way to get through this disaster.

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]

Rainbow Dash: All I wanna know is why the Earth ponies are hogging all the food!

Pegasi: [shouting]

Pinkie Pie: Us?! We're not hogging all the food, you are! Oh, wait. You're right. It's us. Well, it's only 'cause you mean old Pegasusususes are making it snow like crazy!

Rainbow Dash: For the hundredth time, it's not us! We're not making it snow! It must be the unicorns! They're doing it with their freaky magic!

Rarity: [gasps] How dare you! Unlike you Pegasi ruffians, we unicorns would never stoop to such a thing! H-m-ph!

Unicorns: Hmph!

Pinkie Pie: Well, if you non-Earths aren't gonna stop using your weirdo powers to freeze us all, then I'm just plum out of ideas.

Rainbow Dash: What a shocker. An Earth pony with no ideas.

Rarity: Commander Hurricane, please cease with the insults!

Rainbow Dash: You're not the boss of me, your royal snootiness!

Rarity: I beg your pardon?! I am a princess! I won't be spoken to that way!

Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm leaving first!

Pinkie Pie: No, I'm first!

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]

Spike: And the blizzard raged on.

[windigos whinnying]

Spike: So the summit of the tribes did not turn out as well as hoped, and the three leaders returned home to lick their wounds, and basically complain.

Rainbow Dash: Atten-tion! Well? Aren't you curious about how it went?

Fluttershy: Oh! Commander Hurricane, sir! How did it go, sir?

Rainbow Dash: Horribly! Those other tribe leaders are so disrespectful! Don't they realize that we are a mighty tribe of warriors, and should not be crossed? We have got to break ranks with those weak foals!

[splat]

Rarity: [shivering] Clover the Clever! I need you!

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, your Majesty. Did the other pony tribes see reason as I predicted?

Rarity: Those other tribes are impossible! I, for one, can no longer bear to be anywhere near those lowly creatures. The unicorns are noble and majestic. We will no longer consort with the likes of them!

Applejack: Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door, Chancellor?

Pinkie Pie: Maybe for you, Smart Cookie. But I am a chancellor. I was elected because I know how to think outside the box. Which means [slightly echoes] I can also think inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?

Applejack: Uh...

Pinkie Pie: I didn't think so.

Applejack: Ugh.

Pinkie Pie: Ohmygosh. Hold on to your hooves! I am just about to be brilliant!

Applejack: [under her breath] That'd be a first.

Pinkie Pie: I have decided that the Earth ponies are gonna go it alone!

Applejack: Aw, so you mean the other tribes didn't come around? Shoot... I really thought we could get through to 'em if we–

Pinkie Pie: Don't worry about them. We're the ones with all the food, right?

Applejack: Actually, we're all out.

Pinkie Pie: Fine, then we'll have to go somewhere new where we can grow some new food. And with me as our fearless leader, what could go wrong?

Rainbow Dash: Get a hold of yourself, Private! We cannot let anything distract us from the mission at hand. To find, and if necessary, to conquer a new land!

Fluttershy: Conquer, sir?

Rainbow Dash: You never know where enemies might be lurking.

Fluttershy: I don't see any enemies, Commander. Just... snow.

Rainbow Dash: A-ha! What's that?! [fighting noises]

Fluttershy: [yelps]

Rainbow Dash: Okay. This is getting old.

Rarity: Oh, this is simply taking forever. My hooves are killing me! How long have we been walking for?

Twilight Sparkle: About five minutes, your highness.

Rarity: Oh, I never imagined finding a new land would be so hard. But it'll all be worth it, don't you agree?

Twilight Sparkle: I actually think that the three tribes could've tried harder.

Rarity: Stoooooop!

Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong?

Rarity: That is what's wrong!

[water rushing]

Twilight Sparkle: Your Highness, it's just a stream. We can cross it easily.

Rarity: I refuse to get my gown wet. I have no intention of arriving at my new land looking like a bedraggled Earth pony, or worse yet a rough-and-tumble Pegasus. I, for one, have no intention of stooping down to their level. On the other hand, I have no trouble watching you stoop down.

Twilight Sparkle: [groans]

Rarity: And do watch the gown, darling. It's worth more than all of the books in your library.

Pinkie Pie: Yes, yes. This is definitely the right direction.

Applejack: It feels like we're going in circles.

Pinkie Pie: But that's impossible. Are you suggesting that I'm reading the map wrong?

Applejack: Absolutely not, your chancellorness. It's just that there are holes in the map, and–

Pinkie Pie: Of course! How else could I see where I was going?

Applejack: Yeah, uh–

Pinkie Pie: Or talk? I need to be able to talk! I mean, how would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?

Applejack: Heaven forbid that should happen, your chancellorship. Heh. It's just that... the map is also upside down.

Pinkie Pie: I got a newsflash for you, Cookie. The Earth is round. There is no up or down.

Applejack: You're right! It's such a relief to me that you're in charge of this map...

Spike: [accent] And so, each leader encountered obstacles along the way, but eventually, they all arrived in a new and wondrous land. Nopony had ever seen paradise before.

Rainbow Dash: This is the new land we've been searching for!

Fluttershy: What a view... I can see my future house from here.

Rainbow Dash: I proclaim this new land to be... Pegasopolis!

Rarity: I've never seen such jewels! This ruby is dazzling. This whole land is dazzling. I'm double dazzled! [squeals] In the name of the unicorns, I hereby dub this land Unicornia!

Pinkie Pie: The air! The trees! The dirt! This dirt is the dirtiest dirt in the whole dirt world!

Applejack: And fertile, too. Perfect for growing food.

Pinkie Pie: In the name of the Earth ponies, I think I'm gonna call this new place... uh... Dirtville.

Applejack: How about "Earth"?

Pinkie Pie: Earth! Congratulations to me for thinking of it.

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: We found our new home!

Rainbow Dash: I planted my flag first!

Rarity: Did not!

Rainbow Dash: Did too!

Pinkie Pie: I planted mine earlier than first.

Rarity: All of you riffraff are trespassing in Unicornia!

Rainbow Dash: The name is Pegasopolis!

Pinkie Pie: Earth!

Rainbow Dash: Pegasopolis!

Rarity: Unicornia!

Rainbow Dash: I say we fight for the land. May the best pony win!

[wind blows]

Rarity: That's barbaric. Clover the Clever? Throw that brute into the dungeon!

Twilight Sparkle: What dungeon? Look, perhaps if we all calmed down...

Applejack: I agree. Let's all calm down.

Fluttershy: I vote for calm.

Rainbow Dash: I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination, Private! We settle this on the battlefield!

[whack]

Rarity: [laughs]

[whack]

Rainbow Dash: [laughs]

Rarity: Who dares throw a snowball at royalty?!

Pinkie Pie: Wait a minute, where'd all this snow come from anyway?

Rainbow Dash: Oh no. Not again.

[wind blowing]

[windigos roaring]

Spike: [accent] And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow and hard feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy. Instead of wonderful, it was wintry! Instead of spectacular, it was snow-tacular! Instead of–

Shoeshine: We get it! Move on!

Spike: [laughs nervously] [clears throat] [accent] Everypony was forced to seek shelter. They searched high and low, but the only shelter for miles was a cold and desolate cave. And, of course, the three tribes had to share it, and nopony was too happy about that.

Rarity: Please, Commander Hothead.

Rainbow Dash: It's Commander Hurricane.

Rarity: [clears throat] Please, Commander, could you just stand back and give me my royal space?

Rainbow Dash: You mean like this, your highness?

Rarity: Indeed not! You see this invisible line?

Rainbow Dash: Private? Outline our territory for everypony to see. See this real, non-invisible line? No unicorns or Earth ponies are allowed to cross it! This is the sovereign territory of Pegasopolis!

Rarity: Clover the Clever?

Pinkie Pie: Uh... Smart Cookie!

Applejack: I know, I know.

Rainbow Dash: What are you doing? Don't go around the rock, go over it! I'm not giving up an inch of territory to the enemy!

Rarity: That rock is clearly on the Unicornia side of the cave, and it belongs to us! [under her breath] Who knows? there could be jewels inside.

Rainbow Dash: [groans] I claim this rock for Pegasopolis!

Rarity: Unhand that rock this instant, you scoundrel!

Pinkie Pie: Oh, look, you found my rock. I've been looking for it everywhere.

Rainbow Dash: Hey! You invaded our territory!

Pinkie Pie: Finders keepers, losers weepers!

Rainbow Dash: That's the last straw!

Rarity: Give me my rock!

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]

[wind blowing]

Twilight Sparkle: Look, everypony! The entrance!

[ice cracking]

Rainbow Dash: Great. Now there's no way out! We're trapped!

Rarity: You two deserve this horrible fate. You've done nothing but argue and fight with each other!

Rainbow Dash: You've been fighting too, your Highness.

Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Worse! I haven't been fighting nearly as much as you!

Twilight Sparkle: I didn't either. Nothing like this has ever happened before. But I know it couldn't have been just me. It came from all three of us, joined together, in friendship.

Spike: [accent] All through the night, the three ponies kept the fire of friendship alive by telling stories to one another and by singing songs, which of course became the winter carols that we all still sing today. Eventually, the warmth of the fire and singing and laughing reached the leaders, and their bodies began to thaw. [normal voice] And it even began to melt their hearts.

[rumbling]

Spike: [accent] The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land, and live in harmony ever afterwards. And together, they named their new land...

Main cast: Equestria!

Audience: [cheering]

[Choir]

The fire of friendship lives in our hearts

As long as it burns, we cannot drift apart

Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few

Laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through)

We are a circle of pony friends

A circle of friends we'll be to the very end

Audience: [cheering]

Twilight Sparkle: We should be so honored that Princess Celestia chose us! She must really think we exemplify what good friends are!