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Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Neurotic Writer Bans Television

Suzie Writer: (Enters room with bed sheet in hand.)"Doc, Doc, do have a television set in here?"

Therapist: (Quirks a brow.) "No. What's wrong?"

Suzie Writer: (Sits after inspecting room)"I came across the biggest secret ever known to mankind."

Therapist: "Oh really. Do share."

Suzie Writer: "Television sets are really two-waycommunication devices. The hot shots in Hollywood don'twant you to know that because they are stealing our ideas."

Therapist: Pauses for a moment. "And you know this because..."

Suzie Writer: "It happened to me! They stole my idea!Doc, I was watching reruns of My Stepmother is an Alien with my sister last weekend. During the commercials, I toldher about the book I'm writing. In the black moment, the heromust choose between the woman he loves and his three-leggedbrother who is also missing an eyebrow. You are not going to believe this, Doc, but last night I was watching my favoriteshow and they had the exact same plot. They stole my idea! I could not believe it!"

Therapist: "I can't believe it either."

Suzie Writer: "The part that they stole my idea?"

Therapist: "No. That they used that idea at all."

Suzie Writer: (studies the other woman) "Did you just insult me? Never mind. If you did I forgive you?You don't get paid enough. So anyways, I told my sister what happened and that was when we figured out those Hollywoodexecutives were listening in our conversation through thetelevision. They must have heard about me and piped intomy line." (Nods knowingly)

Therapist: "Suzie, do you really believe they would go throughso much trouble to steal your ideas? Why not just hire you towork for them?"

Suzie Writer: "They don't want to pay my price. I may be easy,but I'm not cheap. Well, I gotta go, Doc. I have to warn all ofmy writing friends. We need to ban television. Or turn it offwhen we brainstorm. See ya!"

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