A Quick One While We’re Away

by thoughtsonthedead

“Katy-doodle–”

“Don’t call me that.”

“–we only done got 48 hours for this safari interlude before I gotta get back to soloing. We all gonna get to Colorado and smoke doobies that are so high-class that they step out of the shower to take a dump.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“When I see these savannahs–”

“Nope.”

“–fecund with life and stuff to look and shoot at, well: my trigger-boner gets itchy.”

“We’re not shooting anything. What are you talking about? ‘Trigger-boner’ is not a thing.”

“GONNA BRING DADDY A TROPHY!”

…

“Are you really my on-again/off-again celebrity boyfriend John Mayer, or is this more of the Grateful Dead’s bullshit that, as the highest-earning female performer in America last year, I neither deserve nor tolerate?”

“I may have had a sim-suit made up that mimicked Young John Mayer’s physique and features, yes.”