Will You Be The Mom Who Refuses to be Sidelined?

Something sad and fascinating is happening to parents in this post-modern era. We’re being lied to. We’re being told that we aren’t necessary—and what’s worse, many moms today are buying the lie! After all, they say the “village” can do it better.

Slowly but surely society is shutting parents out. Moms today are being told that elementary school aged kids can make their own decisions on everything from birth control to which gender they want to be. What used to be regarded as a parent’s responsibility is now seen as an infringement on the child.

Simple tasks like looking at my 13 yr old’s medical records now require effort and persistence and even permission from my 13 year old. If we want to stay in the race and finish it we must refuse to be sidelined. MomStrong moms possess a willingness to endure rather than become a passive onlooker in the lives of their children.

When the world says “give up” or “it’s not your business,” I challenge you to stand up for the sake of your child. Go ahead and risk being annoying. Be the mom who knows the names of your child’s friends. Be the mom who asks the hard questions and loves unconditionally. Be the mom who refuses to be sidelined and instead guides her child through every stage of growing up, including adolescence.

Your children don’t need the government or the school system to teach them about the big things in life, they need their parents. Moms, you are stronger than they say you are. You are more capable and more invested. You’re your children’s mother, and kids today need their mothers to be all-in.

They need the wisdom and love of their parents, and they need a mom who is one hundred percent invested.

Be that mom!

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and two grandsons! The St. Johns' children range in age from early elementary school to adult. They have homeschooled the kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning to live biblically in an unbiblical world together .
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This is an important post. I’d like to add that I think things have gotten out of hand partially because people are not rooted in their identities and visions of what life should consist of. That is why people feel so heavily influenced by what other people are doing or saying, whether it is peers or “the powers that be”. When my son was in gymnastics as a little guy, I was astounded by the conversation in the waiting area for the parents. Everyone was trying to find out something, as if there was some great “must know” ….”out there”…and that they were afraid of their kids being left in the dust somehow. The last time I could recall that sort of feeling was in high school. I hadn’t been in high school for decades at that point and couldn’t comprehend how people felt so obliged to always have a conversation about whatever they are doing…home repairs, school requirements, sports, vacations, food, dish soap, grumbling over this, asking about that. I found the conversation incredibly tedious and would sit there trying to read something that was worthwhile during that time.

All of this is to say that this sense of being sidelined comes from people believing they must follow the herd…or they will sideline their children. If you know what you know, and you are who you are, don’t let the herd convince you that you are somehow missing out on something. When you know who you are and you live your life a certain way, “they” can call you out on whatever they want and you can gracefully acknowledge them and turn around and continue what you were doing.

We are not on-lookers of our children’s lives. We make their lives happen. We keep the day going, we give them the framework for their lives. We set the rhythm of their lives, and we keep them fed and clothed physically, psychologically and spiritually. We do this just by living our lives in a meaningful way. If we can teach them to understand that we live a great life because we made it happen, our children will grow up to be creators of their lives and not just passively follow the herd.

The herd is leading people–souls—to very dark places. Our culture is reeling. Let’s slow down, know who we are, know where we came from and not lose sight of those things. The “powers that be” can think what they want. We are responsible for our children. Period. We don’t have to apologize for making decisions and choices that don’t make sense to anyone else. If doctor’s offices or schools or anyone wants to tell us we parents are not needed, I can encourage them to have my son pay his own medical bills. Just kidding. But it would be a funny idea.

I agree, Katarina! Parents are not just “onlookers” in the lives of their children—they are, or should be, the primary influencers. My husband calls this a “herd” mentality as well. So true! No wonder Jesus often referred to His people as “sheep!” Thanks for your comments.

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