The Wave Upon the Sand

This blog explores the journey of thirty-something feminist from the Midwest, who is still trying to understand the mysteries of this world and how they interact with our everyday lives.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SHORT STORIES BOOK CLUB: CELEBRATING 10
YEARS

August 10th 2005 was the first ever
meeting of the Short Stories Book Club (SSBC) held at Broad Vocabulary:
Milwaukee’s Feminist Bookstore which just opened that year. The owners of Broad
Vocabulary were ladies who had been the driving force behind the College
Feminists when I first started at UWM in 2000 and I wanted to be a part of this
new and exciting business.My friend,
Megan, started the group with me, but I am unsure if she attended any other
meetings after this first one.

The first book was Trash by Dorothy Allison and the founding members were: Ashley,
Lonna, and Jackie.Ashley was my new
girlfriend at the time and is in second place for attending the most meeting of
SSBC and has been my longest supporter. Fun fact, I have only missed one
meeting and that was due to my car breaking down on the freeway about hour
before we were to meet.

FLYER FOR FIRST MEETING 8/10/05

Whenever I think of those early meetings and how we went around and gave our reviews of the book we read that month, Jackie
and Lonna always reminded me of 1990’s sketch comedy series In Living Color and the particular
segment “Men on Film” where Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier portrayed two gay
men reviewing films and whenever the film in the sketch was focused on women
their response was always in unison “Hated It”!Whenever Jackie and Lonna were asked for their thoughts on the books
they were not usually fans, only liking maybe 5% of what we read.“Trash” was our first book we read and one of the few books I know they
both liked.

There was one particular meeting at Broad
Vocabulary that first year where I showed up and no one else did.I am so glad that I had not been discouraged
and given up at that moment.

Katy would be the first member to join us, who
did not have connection with anyone else previously in the book club.She would soon become a part of the crew and
attending dinners with us at Lulu’s after meetings.About a year after joining she would bring
our youngest member to book club, baby Connor.Connor was the first baby to join us at book club, but he wouldn’t be
the last.

TINA & ASHLEY AT EARLY SSBC PARTY!

Jackie and Lonna then introduced us to their
friend, Tina, who would become another long-time member and was more open to
fantasy and bizarre fictional stories than her buddies.It was Tina who recommended that we read
Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted, which is
actually a novel and not short stories. We sometimes break the rules. The book
was made up of 23 stories of a group of writers whom have locked themselves in
abandoned theater as writer’s retreat for 3 months and then slowly start killing
and eating each other, I remember enjoying it. Lonna and Jackie response: “Hated it”, but
this grim and dark humor is one of the books that gained us our only male book
club member.

Charles is the mysterious one in book club, no
one knew what he did for living for long time and he continues to surprises
us.We can never predict if he is coming
to this upcoming meeting or working on his plays, but we are always happy when he
makes it on his orange scooter.

Shortly after him, another stranger would wander
off the streets and join us at Broad Vocabulary, the lovely Lilly.With Lilly, Ashley and I had found another
lover of bad horror movies and she introduced me to the wonders of wine, which
I am drinking as I write this piece.

AIDS WALK WISCONSIN: TEAM SSBC

A year after starting the book club, I began graduate school and most of my social life disappeared for the next
two and half years. However, the SSBC stayed strong and was my only constant social
event each month.

Over the years I have often met friends and acquaintances
that say they would love to be a part of a book club when I tell them about
SSBC.I will send these folks an email
with the information and the majority never attend even one meeting.Most people claim they are too busy and are
afraid they won’t complete the book.For
the record, only about half the members read all the stories in the book on a good month,
and those who have read them will summarize for the others during our meetings.Sometime in 2007, Laura, my new friend whom
survived graduate school with me, would do the impossible and show up to a book
club and then continue to attend meeting to the present day.

MOVED TO ANODYNE

When Broad Vocabulary closed down, we moved our
monthly meeting to Anodyne in Bay View.We enjoyed eating cookies and drinking coffee at Anodyne for many years
and fighting with the local knitting group for the big table.After Anodyne started serving pizza last year finding a table became a challenge, we decided to move once again and are
now rotating between member’s homes.

We have lost members over the years with people
moving to Oakland and Madison, but I am a firm believer that if you were once a
SSBC member, you are always a member.We
have gotten some new members too, most recently at Lonna’s baby shower a few
years back we were introduced to her friend, Erin.Lonna is now living in Madison, but Erin has started
coming and has become a faithful member and we are lucky to have her.

SSBC PHOTO BOOTH 8/5/11

On average we read about 11 books a year, since
we skip the month of December due to the holidays.I estimate that we have read about 110
books total since starting in 2005.I
had to laugh when Lonna told me a few weeks back that she never really liked
short stories.I have come to respect
short stories that are well written and can capture your imagination in brief
amount of pages.Also, doing the short
stories thing has allowed people to keep coming to meeting without reading much of
the book and not feel like a complete ass for not finishing it.Maybe when we are in our seventies we can
start reading novels.

When I first started this book club I just
finished my undergraduate degree and was hanging out at bars with my friends on
most nights and working at Walgreens.My
job was not my dream, but I had a great social circle of friends and I have
always yearned to be a part of group.Growing up in eighties I loved the movie The Goonies and I always
wanted a group of friends I could count on and go on adventures with.

CELEBRATING 10 YEARS IN MADISON!

My college days are long gone and many of those
friends I still see on occasion and continue to have much love for, but we are
all busy with our own lives; however, I know that I will see my SSBC peeps
every month.I have found a group of
friends to go on crazy adventures with from camping at Devils Lake, winery
tours, harvest parties, pizza parties, being back up dancers to ‘Nsync songs,
extras in Tool Shed commercials, creating zines together, being the slowest
team at AIDS Walk every year, and hotel parties in Madison.I can count on these ladies and dude to be
there for me when I am need and I feel so fortunate that this little book club
has brought such amazing people into my life.To be honest the Short Stories Book Club is one of my proudest
accomplishments and I hope that it continues for another decade.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

REVIEW: The Scene You Need

This last Thursday, I attended the opening night of third and
final installment of The New York Stories
Trilogy: The Scene You Need.I had not seen the first two installments: Another Tale of Eddie and The
King of Pop, but was still able to follow the plot and enjoy The Scene You Need.My friend, Katy, and I came that night
to support our fellow Short Stories Book Club member, Charles Sommers.Charles directed and wrote the third
installment of the trilogy and he sat with us on opening night.I learned from him that many of the six
main characters in this play were in the previous two and the focus of the
trilogy is on Manhattan artist culture in the 1970s.In this play the characters are hanging out at CBGB and
towards the end are moving to Studio 54.

The play begins with Eddie, a struggling playwright, and
Rose, his soon to be ex-girlfriends in the middle of their last fight together
as a couple.The play then follows
these two ex-lovers a year or so later, where they both continue to live in New
York and do there best to avoid each other.We also meet four other characters a veteran, a punk rocker,
the mayor, and a party girl who hangs out with Andy Warhol.In the various acts they discuss a
range of topics from the horrors of the Vietnam War, the greatest game, the end
of punk rock, and falling out of love.

I asked Charles after the play what his reaction was from
seeing it with a live audience for the first time.He reported that he was surprised that “it was funnier than
I had expected.”I agree with
Charles that there were plenty of laughs in this play, even when discussing
some difficult topics.One of my
favorite scenes is when Izzy, who claims that she created punk rock, strikes up
a conversation with Sam, a Vietnam vet, at an adult movie theater.These two keep the audience laughing as
they discuss their favorite artist at the Met and the give a review of the porn
movie they are currently watching.

I would highly recommend checking out this brilliant play
that gives you glimpse of the New York art scene in the 1970s.The play is showing at the Alchemist
Theater (2569 S. Kinnickinnic Ave, Bay View http://www.thealchemisttheatre.com/
) on June 25, 26, 27, and July 9, 10, and 11th at 7:30pm.After seeing this play I wish I had seen
the first two of the trilogy, but this one is capable standing by itself.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY!

June 1st will marks six months that I have been
working at my new job.These months have
flown by and I do enjoy my new job for the most part, but it has consumed my
life in many ways in adjusting to my new role as case manager and things such
as keeping up with my blog have fallen behind.I hope to start writing more often and keep trying to find that balance of
managing my work life and personal life. Here are a few things I have learned
so far:

The TO-DO
list will never be completely done:I have been a fan of writing to-do list and post it reminders for a long
time.At my new job I am constantly
writing list of what needs to be done today and what can go on the list of
trying to accomplish later this week.Prior to this job I was able to mark off all items on my to-do list
completely at times and would feel a sense of accomplishment.At work I am usually able to accomplish
somethings on my to-do list, but there is always something that will continue
on the list for another day or week.

Do your
best and don’t be too hard on yourself: Whenever I have started in a new
role in my life it takes more time than I expect to become familiar and confidant
in myself.When I first started graduate
school or training to be a pharmacy technician, it took time for me to
understand the ropes and feel capable.The major difference is that I am working with humans to help them
become more independent and I can try my best to help them improve their lives,
but they will still make choices that don’t always benefit themselves and this
is out of my hands.I can only offer to
keep assisting them and trying new approaches to benefit them.If they stumble at times, I have to try to
not take this on as my own failing as case manager and remind myself we all
make mistakes and that we just have to keep on trying.

It is
important to create boundaries:When
I would be driving home after completing a shift at Walgreens, I would not
spend much time worrying about what did not get done that day or analyzing how
things played out that shift.I catch
myself thinking about my clients a lot of time on my days off from work and
thinking what needs to be done next week.I feel at times that I never really punch out from the job.Many people who’ve worked in a social work
field have warned me of this problem.I
am trying my best to separate my off time and work time, but this is more
problematic working with clients, where some are going through some major
problems.I need to keep working on this
so I can enjoy my life and build up my strength for the next week, so I do not
burn out.

Always do
your best to be compassionate to others: I have always been interested in
how other people live and how their personal histories are affecting their
current lives.For this reason explains why I loved the TV
show LOST.The show had such great
character development and you saw glimpse into their lives before they came to the
island and their experiences affected the choices they would make on the island.I did not always agree with the choices that
John Locke made on the show, but knowing his history and desires, I still had
compassion for him and almost all the characters on the show.Some of my clients have anger issues and make
rash decisions that I cannot always comprehend; however, I know from reading
their charts and spending time with them that they have experienced various
hardships that I cannot imagine and am not sure how I would react to those
experiences.You never know what someone
has seen in their lives so try your best to show compassion and be less quick
to judge.

SHAMBALA

P.S. I know many people do not like the episode of LOST, where Hurley, Charlie, Sawyer, and Jin fix up the van and drive around drinking beers for a few brief minutes, because it does not add to plot or explain the mysteries of the island. This was one of my favorite episodes, it includes four of my favorite characters, who remind us that even though life is crappy at times, we can still manage to have fun with our friends once in a while.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

In honor of Game of Thrones Season 5 starting tonight, I am re-posting HOUSE OF ALTADONNA, which I created about a year ago. I am looking forward to watching the premiere with my parents and Ashley. Also hopefully I will finally start reading the third book in the series A Song of Ice and Fire. With this new job and everything else, I have fallen behind on my reading, but I will be working on fixing this very soon.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Ashley and I were talking about our favorite karaoke moments
this morning and it inspired me to list my top five, in no particular
order.Please share your favorite
karaoke memories.

1) SUPER TROUPER: ABBA

SUPER TROUPER

Back in November 2012, we had the final Making the Cut fundraiser for Ashley’s surgery.We sold tickets for a catered
dinner and a judged karaoke contest.I decided to do something bold and sing a song by
myself.All of my previous karaoke
performances I had always done in large groups.I am not a great singer, but I decided on this ABBA song and
did my best to memorizes the words.I knew there was no hope to win the contest,
but I am happy that it went okay and that I survived.

2) LIKE A PRAYER: MADONNA

In 2002 my cousin, Niki, graduated from high school and at
her graduation party there was a karaoke machine and some terrible performances
occurred that evening.One of those was when me
and my four other girl cousins decided to sing this Madonna tune.We had foolishly thought we knew
the song and it was all under control, however, a few chorus in we all realized
we did not really know the lyrics to this tune.Luckily, there was beer at this event and it was just fun
trying to sing along to the song with my cousins.

EASY LOVER

3) EASY LOVER: PHILLIP BAILEY AND PHIL COLLINS

Ever since I met Dixie and Josh whenever there is a karaoke
going on they will perform this song together and they always do an amazing
job.Unlike my cousins and I they
know all the words and do not even have to look at the lyrics on the TV
screen.Whenever, Cactus Club has
karaoke all the performers are amazing, many of them are in bands and know
what they are doing.I will never
sing solo at one of these events.I did do Spice Girls “Wannabe” at Cactus, but there were at least 10 of
us on that stage for the performance.

MR. ROBOTO

4) MR. ROBOTO: STYX

The winner of Making
the Cut final fundraiser was Ehren, an old fried of Ashley’s she had not
seen him in a few years.I predict
that part of the reason this dude showed up that night was to support Ashley,
but the real reason was that he is a karaoke hustler. Ehren knew all the words, but more
importantly he knew how to put on a show.He was doing the robot on stage and blowing minds with that performance.

5) TWIST AND SHOUT: THE BEATLES

Two years after “Like a Prayer” massacre, my cousin, Chris,
graduated from high school and yet another karaoke party.At this event I brought my new
boyfriend, Kyle, who met most of my extended family that night.Kyle got up and sang this tune and
everyone was so impressed and was considered one of
two performances that night where the person knew how to sing and did the song well.Family members still recall this performance and when I hear
this song on the radio it makes me think of that moment and smile.

Friday, March 20, 2015

SPRING HAS ARRIVED

Today is the first day of spring and I am happy for it to
have arrived, even though I just got my first real cold of 2015 a few days ago
and wish I could enjoy this revival a little bit more.I have many friend and family who have
moved to warmer climates and some of them report that they will not move back
to Wisconsin and it’s harsh winters, however, I can’t imagine living some place
without seasons.I agree that winter goes on too long, but I need that time inside and
then when spring comes I appreciate even more the rebirth of the nature.

TAKEN AT HUMBOLDT PARK 3/20/15

The last few months I have been consumed by my new job and
trying to get adjusted to what is expected of me.I am
starting to get a handle on this career change and I am trying to get back to pursuing my other hobbies outside of
work.I have not been keeping up
on blog lately or finishing the book club books, but I am trying not to
be so hard on myself.Life is like
the seasons, at times things are chaotic, but we do our best to move through
them and know that this is only a phase, it soon will change.Here is quote that captures my thoughts
from Women Who Run With the Wolves, by
Clarissa Pinkola Estes

About a week ago we opened our kitchen window for our cats
and Gatsby, our black cat, gracefully jumped up to the kitchen table and took
her place in the window.You could
hear the birds chirping in the warm air and we all breathed in this new chapter.I needed to take these
last few months to adjust my new life, but now I am ready to get back to nature
and start taking my long walks, reading poetry, and writing about this magical world.

Friday, February 13, 2015

HAPPY 85th BIRTHDAY GRANDMA JUNE!!!!

MY LAST PHOTO WITH GRANDMA JUNE 7/4/07

Today, February 13th, 2015, marks my Grandma June’s 85th
birthday.Sadly we lost this fine lady seven years ago and barely a day goes by that I do not think of
her.I know many grandchildren are
close with their grandparents, but my five cousins and I were all very close to
her.In our family I am not sure
if any of us ever ask ourselves the question, WWJD/What would Jesus do?However, I am pretty sure most of us
have asked WWGJD/What would Grandma June do?I know whenever something big happens in my own life, I
often wonder what would Grandma June think and how would she react.There are many times when I feel that there is no one
else I would rather talk to right now than her.

AFTER A LONG DAY IN DISNEY WORLD, GRANDMA JUNE IN CENTER WITH NIKI ON HER LAP.

She was such a loving woman, who only wanted to spend time
with her family and dogs, which were also family in her book.Growing up we will butt heads with are
parents at times, whom are trying to do their best to raise us right.However, I tend to find that grandparents are less concerned about if we
are getting good grades or not; instead they just want us to be happy.One of my favorite memories of Grandma
June was when all the cousins, some of our parents, and Grandma June all went together to Disney World.It was decided that since we would be walking a lot, it was best to rent
Grandma June a wheel chair during the day.For some crazy reason they let us kids push her in the wheel
chair.I remember her chair
hitting some other tourist ankles occasionally and her being pushed into a water fountain, by my cousin, Chris.The best part of having Grandma June there in the wheel
chair was when we rolled up to rides and stated that one of us in the group was
in a wheel chair and they would let us move ahead in the line.There would be a total of 12 of us
cutting ahead of everyone else. God bless, Grandma June, we would make her go on all the rides, such as
the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. In that ride, once you hit the top floor in the elevator, it suddenly drops and many of the riders rise from their seats as it reaches a top speed of 30.7 miles per hour.Growing up I always had a passion for history, which I
credit my mother for, whom has always loved historical fiction novels.So back in 2001, I got myself a small
tape recorder and conducted three interviews with Grandma June on her childhood
and growing up in Milwaukee.I
believe we did these interviews in her car, at McDonalds, and in her
bedroom.I learned that she was
the fourth and last child of Ed and Rose Riopell.She grew up in a boarding house, that her parent’s ran, for
Marquette students.She married,
Jack Marine, my Grandpa, whom was kid that she grew up on the same block as
her.A few years ago for Christmas
I finally edited these tapes for my family and I tried to do my best imitation This American Life.I
called the final product The June Tapes,
which down below are a few minutes of the tapes.Grandma June is talking about World War II and how it was
for her family. I miss her so much, but she lives in on my memories and I know she is with me where ever I go.

About Me

My name is Maria McKinney and my home is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In an attempt to make me write more and to share my writing with other people, I’ve decided to start a blog. My mission is to write something on a weekly basis and post it on Friday. I have graduated from college and gotten married in the last few years, but I am still searching for new adventures in my adult life and the paths are not as defined as they once were. Mary Oliver, my favorite poet, captures my desire best, “I want to believe I am looking into the white fire of a great mystery. I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing- that the light is everything.” I hope to use this blog to share my experiences and explore the flaws and beauty of this world.