David Eisler Hates Gays, Wants McFlurry Now

Note to the future celebrity self-immolators wishing to end their careers with a revolting public display of bigotry: Do it with class. Do it like 19-year-old Brooklynite David Eisler. Eisler (all allegedly) walked into a Staten Island shopping-mall McDonald’s, sliced in front of the line, and demanded a McFlurry; told that the store was out of them and that he would need to rejoin the line anyway, Eisler informed everyone: “I am homophobic! I hate faggots! McDonald’s shouldn’t hire faggots!” and left. Perhaps feeling that the previous tirade somehow lacked in impact, Eisler then returned, two hours later, and tried to punch the counter clerk in the face. Finally, stopped by cops, Eisler challenged one to a fistfight with a manly “Why don’t you take your gun-belt off and I’ll kick your fuckingass.”

For those keeping count of objectionable things in this item, we’ve got nine, in the descending order of awfulness: hate crime, harassment, McFlurrys, attempted assault, resisting arrest, line-cutting, shopping malls, foul language, and Staten Island. If only he’d thrown in a “sugar tits,” Eisler could have hit a perfectten.