Monthly Archives: October 2009

Last January, thieves absconded with the iconic bronze Coke-bottle thick glasses that adorned the seven foot bronze likeness of Penn State’s legendary coach Joe Paterno. The statue sits outside the entrance to Beaver Stadium. Unable to recover the stolen booty, PSU simply recast and reattached a new pair of spectacles to its newest artwork. This weekend, let’s “see” which teams squint around the field looking as if its play book is drawn from the Bronze Age, and which “Lasik” its way to another victory.

No. 4 USC at No. 10 Oregon (Ch.5, 8p.m.) When the USC carnival rolls into town the hoopla created is best described by a line attributed to the legendary Boston mayor, James Michael Curley. “When you’re a Great Dane, you’re always going to have a poodle nipping at your heels.” The Trojans’ ring master is its mint-cool, true-freshman quarterback Matt Barkley (7 touchdown passes – 5 interceptions), who is also in the top twenty in passing efficiency. The QB is richly supported by the lightning-thunder tailback tandem of Joe McKnight and Allen Bradford, along with All-America wideout Damien Williams and tight end in Anthony McCoy (ankle), who has shown All-America ability. The nation’s sixteenth stingiest D, attacks with All-America safety Taylor Mays, ends Everson Griffen, Nick Perry and backer Chris Galippo. This group of future Sunday stars, stones runners, but has shown some susceptibility defending the pass.

Since its season opening debacle in Boise, the Ducks have been flying. Oregon Coach Chip Kelly has been Picasso-like, in holding his team together, as OU has run off six in a row. Unlike previous seasons, this version of the Eugene Express has motored on the legs of tailback LaMichael James (nearly 7 yards a carry), the driver behind the nation’s fourteenth best rushing attack. The spiritual leader of the country’s sixteenth highest scoring offense is dual threat QB Jeremiah Masoli (5 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions) with assists from tight end Ed Dickson and wideout Jeffrey Maehl. The nineteenth stingiest D, led by backers Casey Matthews and Spencer Paysinger has been pedestrian against the run, which is not a good recipe against USC. In what should be wild affair with at least a Rose Bowl bid riding on the outcome, we’re tempted to take the Green from Eugene, but Pete Carroll’s Boys have already suffered its seasonal loss, we’ll take the Men of Troy.

No.1 Florida vs. Georgia – Jacksonville (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) The Swamp is once again, prime real estate. After a one week hiatus, Florida, albeit with some sputtering, is back on the top of the college football heap. All-World quarterback Tim Tebow (8 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions), despite his frustration over the lack of Gator firepower, is intent on holding that position. The nation’s ninth highest scoring eleven specializes on a ground assault (258 yards a game) featuring the tailback tandem of Jeffrey Demps (neck) and Chris Rainey, that would bring a smile to the face of General William Tecumseh Sherman. Unfortunately, for the Gainesville faithful, the signature passing attack, featuring tight end Aaron Hernandez and wideout Riley Cooper has remained in a seasonal long state of neutral. UF’s All-American dotted D, has been stronger than a shot of Jack Daniels on a Sunday Morning, and is responsible for keeping the Gators on its lofty perch. The nation’s second (tied) stingiest eleven (10 points a game) features backers Brandon Spikes (groin), corner Joe Haden, safety Ahmad Black, and end Carlos Dunlap.

The Bulldogs are no longer “Best in Show” in the Peach Tree State. That honor now belongs to its rival Georgia Tech. The Dawgs offense featuring quarterback Joe Cox (13 touchdown passes – 9 interceptions) with assists from All-America receiver A.J. Green, and tailback Richard Samuel, sits seventeenth from the bottom in rushing, ninetieth overall, and has been as effective as our Chief Executive; Deval Patrick. The Georgia D featuring All-America backer Rennie Curran has been as shaky as a heroin addict at seven a.m., allowing 27 points a game. The Florida Swamp increases in value, as the Dawgs become another notch in the Gator’s belt.

No.3 Texas at No.13 Oklahoma State (ESPN2, 8p.m.) If the Horns can tact around the Stillwater shoals it should be clear sailing all the way to Pasadena. UT’s Heisman Trophy contending, but statistically sliding quarterback Colt McCoy (14 touchdowns – 8 interceptions), is the offensive director of the nation’s highest scoring (41 points) company. The senior QB gets a big assist from his roommate, who also happens to be All-America receiver – Jordan Shipley – along with wideout Marquise Goodwin and emerging tailback Foswhitt Whittaker. The real hit makers in Austin have been the Burnt Orange defense. D-coordinator Will Muschamp’s Texas two-step attacks behind ends Sam Acho, Sergi Kindle, and backer Rodderick Muckelroy. These stars of the Lone Star are best in lassoing runners, second in overall D, and surrender less than 14 points a game.

How big are the stakes in Stillwater? Well, for Boone Pickens University, also known as Oklahoma State, a victory over Texas “MIGHT” be worth a dry oil well. The Cowboys are led by dual threat quarterback Zac Robinson (12 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions),

who quick draws as the country’s seventh most efficient passer. Operating the nation’s sixth highest scoring offense, the QB focuses on wideout Hubert Anyiam, and a solid tailback in Keith Toston, who can also catch out of the backfield. The D, behind backers Donald Booker and Patrick Lavine handles the run but is fourteenth from the bottom in defending the pass, which is the wrong recipe against Texas. The scenario is always the same in the West, a Colt shoots down the Cowboys.

No. 21 South Carolina at Tennessee (ESPN, 7:45) Seeing offensive guru Steve Spurrier’s Gamecocks saddled in the ninety-third spot is as mind-boggling as a President of the United States being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize eleven days into his Administration. This scoreboard challenged group is directed by quarterback Stephen Garcia (11 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions) with assists from tailback Kenny Miles and a trio of skilled wideouts; Alshon Jeffrey, Moe Brown and Tori Gurley. The D led by backer Eric Norwood, Shaq Wilson and end Cliff Matthews is one of the best defending the pass, but very susceptible to a running attack, which is exactly what UT intends to do.

Kansas State at No. 22 Oklahoma (FSN, 7p.m.) Who says you can’t go home again? In 2005, after 17 seasons in Manhattan, Kansas, legendary KState coach Bill Snyder hung up his whistle. During that three year absence the once proud program drifted toward bowl-less oblivion. To the rescue, Snyder, in MacArthur fashion, has returned intent on restoring the Kansas State luster. The Wildcats offensive attack is based on a ground assault led by tailback Daniel Thomas (9TDs) and dual threat QB Carson Coffman, who has thrown 2 more interceptions than touchdowns. When the Cats do complete a pass, starry wideout Brandon Banks is the primary target. The D, which was always the identity and foundation of a Snyder coached team, is led by tackle Jeff Fitzgerald and backer John Houlk. These Manhattan maulers slay runners, but are susceptible defending the pass.

Sam – we hardly knew ye. Defending Heisman Trophy quarterback Sam Bradford’s season and career in Norman has come to an inglorious end. The new king is QB Landry Jones (13 touchdown passes – 6 interceptions), who is named after the legendary coach of the Dallas Cowboys; Tom Landry. The freshman dart thrower can also utilize plenty of weapons in the tailback tandem; Chris Brown and DeMarco Murray, and wideouts Ryan Broyles and Cameron Kenney. The Sooners D has stockpiled more weapons than a cave in the Kashmir. The nation’s second stingiest (tied) intimidators (10 points a game) and sixth overall, snuffs opponents behind end Auston English, and the backer tandem of Travis Lewis and Ryan Reynolds. In Norman – you can’t go home again – unless you are wearing Sooner Red.

Yesterday saw the nation’s three longest losing streaks crumble, as Indiana State, Dartmouth and Northeastern all tasted from the victory cup. Combined these squads had lost 63 in a row!!!

On the opposite side we have the miracle finish by the cardiac Iowa Hawkeyes as IU defeated Michigan State with no time left touchdown pass. The Boys of the Corn now stand 8-0 for the first time in school history. What in the name of Neil Kinnock is going on? One thing is for certain, if this a “Field of Dreams,” Coach Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeye faithful don’t want to wake up.

Will the real number one please stand up? Right now that honor belongs to the Horns of Texas. In a Tuscaloosa two-step ending, Alabama barely survived when its All-America nose tackle Terrence (Mount) Cody blocked not one, but two field goals, to preserve a two point victory over Tennessee. The latter occurring as time expired!!!!!!!!! Florida once again struggled offensively, as the Gator’s All-World quarterback Tim Tebow threw a pair of pick-six interceptions.

We don’t need no stinking passes. Navy defeated Wake Forest 13-10 in a driving rain storm without attempting a single pass. Congrats to the Middies, who won its sixth game making them once again bowl eligible.

The “Stache” coach Dave Wannstedt has the Pitt Panthers 7-1, which is its best start since a guy named Marino was under center.

As we have been saying it has been a bad run of grapes in Champaign, Illinois. Coach Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini, has lost five straight and based on its remaining schedule, is staring at a 1-11 season. Amazingly, Illinois Athletic Director Ron Guenther said the beleaguered coach will be back for the 2010 season. Bet that will sell a lot of season tickets!!! Yikes!!

Another coach who eschews the pass, former Navy coach Paul Johnson has his Yellow Jackets standing at 7-1, winners of five in a row. Yesterday, the best football team in the Peach Tree State went in to Charlottesville and won for the first time since the Administration of George H.W. Bush – 1990.

Speaking of former Presidents – Iowa State went into Lincoln and defeated Nebraska 9-7, for its first visiting win over the “Big Red” since Jimmy Carter was seeing rabbits in 1977. How bad is it in Nebraska – former coach Bill Callahan is beginning to look like a genius, as the Huskers had more turnovers eight; than points scored!!! Double Yikes!! Sleep well, Coach Bo Pellini.

Two coaches who should get thee to a “head-hunter” for employment: Dan Hawkins at Colorado and Steve Kragthorpe of Louisville. As they say at an SAT exam: “Your time is up.”

What is up with the college football analysts? First, Bob Griese- the master of the obvious – who should have retired with John Madden says that Florida quarterback Tim Tebow – hurt himself in the Heisman Trophy race because he missed a game. Well my friend, when Tebow suffered his concussion – it occurred in the fourth quarter against Kentucky. The next week – Florida had a bye – and when they played the following week Tebow was not only cleared to play – he led Florida to its victory over LSU. Tebow didn’t miss a thing!! Then this genius follows that up with his taco comment over one of the nation’s best race car drivers Juan Pablo Montoya. I hope an NFL team stays undefeated all the way through!!

During the Georgia Tech game, the analyst, I didn’t get his name, but I believe he was a former QB at Virginia, questioned whether Tech Coach Paul Johnson on a fourth and three from his own ten yard line early in the second quarter was going to punt!!! And they pay these people!!

The only explanation for Notre Dame continuing its miracle finishes and victories is that Touchdown Jesus wants Charlie Weis around for one more season.

Duke is 4-3, and won consecutive ACC games for the first time since 1994!! Good for Coach Dave Cutcliff and the Dukies.

Another reawakening is taking place in Philadelphia as the Temple Owls have won five in a row!! Coach Al Golden is going places.

Who says you can’t go home again. Coach Bill Synder, who returned this season after retiring, has his beloved Wildcats 5-3, in first place in the Big 12 North.

TCU in its blowout win over BYU left no doubt that `it belongs in the BCS bowl picture.

Congrats to Texas A&M. After surrendering 62 last week, the Aggies go into Lubbock, and lay 52 on Texas Tech.

That’s it form cyber space. We’ll be up and running with week 9 on Wednesday night. Until then, Peace Out, and good luck finding your flu shot. PK

The losers shall be winners. Yesterday saw the nation’s three longest losing streaks crumble, as Indiana State, Dartmouth and Northeastern all tasted from the victory cup. Combined these squads had lost 63 in a row!!! On the opposite side we have the miracle finish by the cardiac Iowa Hawkeyes as IU defeated Michigan State with no time left touchdown pass. The Boys of the Corn now stand 8-0 for the first time in school history. What in the name of Neil Kinnock is going on? One thing is for certain, if this a “Field of Dreams,” Coach Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeye faithful don’t want to wake up. Will the real number one please stand up? Right now that honor belongs to the Horns of Texas. In a Tuscaloosa two-step ending, Alabama barely survived when its All-America nose tackle Terrence (Mount) Cody blocked not one, but two field goals, to preserve a two point victory over Tennessee. The latter occurring as time expired!!!!!!!!! Florida once again struggled offensively, as the Gator’s All-World quarterback Tim Tebow threw a pair of pick-six interceptions. We don’t need no stinking passes. Navy defeated Wake Forest 13-10 in a driving rain storm without attempting a single pass. Congrats to the Middies, who won its sixth game making them once again bowl eligible. The “Stache” coach Dave Wannstedt has the Pitt Panthers 7-1, which is its best start since a guy named Marino was under center. As we have been saying it has been a bad run of grapes in Champaign, Illinois. Coach Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini, has lost five straight and based on its remaining schedule, is staring at a 1-11 season. Amazingly, Illinois Athletic Director Ron Guenther said the beleaguered coach will be back for the 2010 season. Bet that will sell a lot of season tickets!!! Yikes!! Another coach who eschews the pass, former Navy coach Paul Johnson has his Yellow Jackets standing at 7-1, winners of five in a row. Yesterday, the best football team in the Peach Tree State went in to Charlottesville and won for the first time since the Administration of George H.W. Bush – 1990. Speaking of former Presidents – Iowa State went into Lincoln and defeated Nebraska 9-7, for its first visiting win over the “Big Red” since Jimmy Carter was seeing rabbits in 1977. How bad is it in Nebraska – former coach Bill Callahan is beginning to look like a genius, as the Huskers had more turnovers eight; than points scored!!! Double Yikes!! Sleep well, Coach Bo Pellini. Two coaches who should get thee to a “head-hunter” for employment: Dan Hawkins at Colorado and Steve Kragthorpe of Louisville. As they say at an SAT exam: “Your time is up.” What is up with the college football analysts? First, Bob Griese- the master of the obvious – who should have retired with John Madden says that Florida quarterback Tim Tebow – hurt himself in the Heisman Trophy race because he missed a game. Well my friend, when Tebow suffered his concussion – it occurred in the fourth quarter against Kentucky. The next week – Florida had a bye – and when they played the following week Tebow was not only cleared to play – he led Florida to its victory over LSU. Tebow didn’t miss a thing!! Then this genius follows that up with his taco comment over one of the nation’s best race car drivers Juan Pablo Montoya. I hope an NFL team stays undefeated all the way through!! During the Georgia Tech game, the analyst, I didn’t get his name, but I believe he was a former QB at Virginia, questioned whether Tech Coach Paul Johnson on a fourth and three from his own ten yard line early in the second quarter was going to punt!!! And they pay these people!! The only explanation for Notre Dame continuing its miracle finishes and victories is that Touchdown Jesus wants Charlie Weis around for one more season. Duke is 4-3, and won consecutive ACC games for the first time since 1994!! Good for Coach Dave Cutcliff and the Dukies. Another reawakening is taking place in Philadelphia as the Temple Owls have won five in a row!! Coach Al Golden is going places. Who says you can’t go home again. Coach Bill Synder, who returned this season after retiring, has his beloved Wildcats 5-3, in first place in the Big 12 North. TCU in its blowout win over BYU left no doubt that `it belongs in the BCS bowl picture. Congrats to Texas A&M. After surrendering 62 last week, the Aggies go into Lubbock, and lay 52 on Texas Tech. How a bout some Heisman Love for Pitt quarterback Bill Stull – third on the nation in paThe losers shall be winners. Yesterday saw the nation’s three longest losing streaks crumble, as Indiana State, Dartmouth and Northeastern all tasted from the victory cup. Combined these squads had lost 63 in a row!!! On the opposite side we have the miracle finish by the cardiac Iowa Hawkeyes as IU defeated Michigan State with no time left touchdown pass. The Boys of the Corn now stand 8-0 for the first time in school history. What in the name of Neil Kinnock is going on? One thing is for certain, if this a “Field of Dreams,” Coach Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeye faithful don’t want to wake up. Will the real number one please stand up? Right now that honor belongs to the Horns of Texas. In a Tuscaloosa two-step ending, Alabama barely survived when its All-America nose tackle Terrence (Mount) Cody blocked not one, but two field goals, to preserve a two point victory over Tennessee. The latter occurring as time expired!!!!!!!!! Florida once again struggled offensively, as the Gator’s All-World quarterback Tim Tebow threw a pair of pick-six interceptions. We don’t need no stinking passes. Navy defeated Wake Forest 13-10 in a driving rain storm without attempting a single pass. Congrats to the Middies, who won its sixth game making them once again bowl eligible. The “Stache” coach Dave Wannstedt has the Pitt Panthers 7-1, which is its best start since a guy named Marino was under center. As we have been saying it has been a bad run of grapes in Champaign, Illinois. Coach Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini, has lost five straight and based on its remaining schedule, is staring at a 1-11 season. Amazingly, Illinois Athletic Director Ron Guenther said the beleaguered coach will be back for the 2010 season. Bet that will sell a lot of season tickets!!! Yikes!! Another coach who eschews the pass, former Navy coach Paul Johnson has his Yellow Jackets standing at 7-1, winners of five in a row. Yesterday, the best football team in the Peach Tree State went in to Charlottesville and won for the first time since the Administration of George H.W. Bush – 1990. Speaking of former Presidents – Iowa State went into Lincoln and defeated Nebraska 9-7, for its first visiting win over the “Big Red” since Jimmy Carter was seeing rabbits in 1977. How bad is it in Nebraska – former coach Bill Callahan is beginning to look like a genius, as the Huskers had more turnovers eight; than points scored!!! Double Yikes!! Sleep well, Coach Bo Pellini. Two coaches who should get thee to a “head-hunter” for employment: Dan Hawkins at Colorado and Steve Kragthorpe of Louisville. As they say at an SAT exam: “Your time is up.” What is up with the college football analysts? First, Bob Griese- the master of the obvious – who should have retired with John Madden says that Florida quarterback Tim Tebow – hurt himself in the Heisman Trophy race because he missed a game. Well my friend, when Tebow suffered his concussion – it occurred in the fourth quarter against Kentucky. The next week – Florida had a bye – and when they played the following week Tebow was not only cleared to play – he led Florida to its victory over LSU. Tebow didn’t miss a thing!! Then this genius follows that up with his taco comment over one of the nation’s best race car drivers Juan Pablo Montoya. I hope an NFL team stays undefeated all the way through!! During the Georgia Tech game, the analyst, I didn’t get his name, but I believe he was a former QB at Virginia, questioned whether Tech Coach Paul Johnson on a fourth and three from his own ten yard line early in the second quarter was going to punt!!! And they pay these people!! The only explanation for Notre Dame continuing its miracle finishes and victories is that Touchdown Jesus wants Charlie Weis around for one more season. Duke is 4-3, and won consecutive ACC games for the first time since 1994!! Good for Coach Dave Cutcliff and the Dukies. Another reawakening is taking place in Philadelphia as the Temple Owls have won five in a row!! Coach Al Golden is going places. Who says you can’t go home again. Coach Bill Synder, who returned this season after retiring, has his beloved Wildcats 5-3, in first place in the Big 12 North. TCU in its blowout win over BYU left no doubt that `it belongs in the BCS bowl picture. Congrats to Texas A&M. After surrendering 62 last week, the Aggies go into Lubbock, and lay 52 on Texas Tech. How a bout some Heisman Love for Pitt quarterback Bill Stull – third on the nation in passing efficiency, 16 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions, 67% completion percentage, 7-1 Pitt Panthers. That’s it form cyber space. We’ll be up and running with week 9 on Wednesday night. Until then, Peace Out, and good luck finding your flu shot. PK ssing efficiency, 16 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions, 67% completion percentage, 7-1 Pitt Panthers. That’s it form cyber space. We’ll be up and running with week 9 on Wednesday night. Until then, Peace Out, and good luck finding your flu shot. PK

The losers shall be winners.

Yesterday saw the nation’s three longest losing streaks crumble, as Indiana State, Dartmouth and Northeastern all tasted from the victory cup. Combined these squads had lost 63 in a row!!!

On the opposite side we have the miracle finish by the cardiac Iowa Hawkeyes as IU defeated Michigan State with no time left touchdown pass. The Boys of the Corn now stand 8-0 for the first time in school history. What in the name of Neil Kinnock is going on? One thing is for certain, if this a “Field of Dreams,” Coach Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeye faithful don’t want to wake up.

Will the real number one please stand up? Right now that honor belongs to the Horns of Texas. In a Tuscaloosa two-step ending, Alabama barely survived when its All-America nose tackle Terrence (Mount) Cody blocked not one, but two field goals, to preserve a two point victory over Tennessee. The latter occurring as time expired!!!!!!!!! Florida once again struggled offensively, as the Gator’s All-World quarterback Tim Tebow threw a pair of pick-six interceptions.

We don’t need no stinking passes. Navy defeated Wake Forest 13-10 in a driving rain storm without attempting a single pass. Congrats to the Middies, who won its sixth game making them once again bowl eligible.

The “Stache” coach Dave Wannstedt has the Pitt Panthers 7-1, which is its best start since a guy named Marino was under center.

As we have been saying it has been a bad run of grapes in Champaign, Illinois. Coach Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini, has lost five straight and based on its remaining schedule, is staring at a 1-11 season. Amazingly, Illinois Athletic Director Ron Guenther said the beleaguered coach will be back for the 2010 season. Bet that will sell a lot of season tickets!!! Yikes!!

Another coach who eschews the pass, former Navy coach Paul Johnson has his Yellow Jackets standing at 7-1, winners of five in a row. Yesterday, the best football team in the Peach Tree State went in to Charlottesville and won for the first time since the Administration of George H.W. Bush – 1990.

Speaking of former Presidents – Iowa State went into Lincoln and defeated Nebraska 9-7, for its first visiting win over the “Big Red” since Jimmy Carter was seeing rabbits in 1977. How bad is it in Nebraska – former coach Bill Callahan is beginning to look like a genius, as the Huskers had more turnovers eight; than points scored!!! Double Yikes!! Sleep well, Coach Bo Pellini.

Two coaches who should get thee to a “head-hunter” for employment: Dan Hawkins at Colorado and Steve Kragthorpe of Louisville. As they say at an SAT exam: “Your time is up.”

What is up with the college football analysts? First, Bob Griese- the master of the obvious – who should have retired with John Madden says that Florida quarterback Tim Tebow – hurt himself in the Heisman Trophy race because he missed a game. Well my friend, when Tebow suffered his concussion – it occurred in the fourth quarter against Kentucky. The next week – Florida had a bye – and when they played the following week Tebow was not only cleared to play – he led Florida to its victory over LSU. Tebow didn’t miss a thing!! Then this genius follows that up with his taco comment over one of the nation’s best race car drivers Juan Pablo Montoya. I hope an NFL team stays undefeated all the way through!!

During the Georgia Tech game, the analyst, I didn’t get his name, but I believe he was a former QB at Virginia, questioned whether Tech Coach Paul Johnson on a fourth and three from his own ten yard line early in the second quarter was going to punt!!! And they pay these people!!

The only explanation for Notre Dame continuing its miracle finishes and victories is that Touchdown Jesus wants Charlie Weis around for one more season.

Duke is 4-3, and won consecutive ACC games for the first time since 1994!! Good for Coach Dave Cutcliff and the Dukies.

Another reawakening is taking place in Philadelphia as the Temple Owls have won five in a row!! Coach Al Golden is going places.

Who says you can’t go home again. Coach Bill Synder, who returned this season after retiring, has his beloved Wildcats 5-3, in first place in the Big 12 North.

TCU in its blowout win over BYU left no doubt that `it belongs in the BCS bowl picture.

Congrats to Texas A&M. After surrendering 62 last week, the Aggies go into Lubbock, and lay 52 on Texas Tech.

“We don’t tailgate. We picnic,” said Tim Walsh, head of the alumni association and the unofficial keeper of the Grove, the iconic grassy ten acres in the middle of the Ole Miss campus. In 1990 after a series of heavy rains reduced this “holy-grail” to a sodden mess, it prompted the university to close it off to cars. “It’s ironic,” said Walsh. “People complained, but since then it’s blossomed. Take out the cars, and you can get a whole lot of people in,” he said. Some say, 30,000 on game day, in the city of Oxford that has 16,000 residents. Game weekend also sees the restaurants serve some 4500 meals. The owner of four of those establishments, John Currence said, “Being from New Orleans, I sort of compare it to Mardi-Gras, it is really wild.” This weekend let’s see which teams look like they’re reading Faulkner, while still sipping on chardonnay from stem glasses and which are starving to get muddy and dirty while trampling over its Gatsby opposition.

No. 10 TCU at No. 16 BYU (Versus, 7:30 p.m.) Busted! That’s the intent of the Horned Frogs from Forth Worth. Bust into the BCS party. The nation’s sixteenth highest scoring team is directed by its jet fueled dual threat QB Andy Dalton (8 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions), who is hummingly completing 65 per-cent of his passes. He is ably assisted by tailback Joseph Turner, and a trio of receivers; Jeremy Kerley, Bart Johnson and Jimmy Young. Coach Gary Patterson’s D, has more quality than the merchandise at a Tiffany’s. This Frogs squad, is the country’s fourth rated overall eleven, and attacks behind its All-America end Jerry Hughes (8 sacks) with assists from backer Tank Cander and safety Alex Ibiloye.

The mission of the Mormons is to extinguish those Forth Worth party lights. The nation’s seventh highest scoring team is led by the quarterback Max Hall (16 touchdown passes – 10 interceptions) who is operating as the country’s fourth most efficient passer. The QB gets big assists from the running of tailback Harvey Unga, All-America tight end Dennis Pitta, and wideout O’Neil Chambers. The D sings (Tabernacle Choir) behind end Jan Jorgensen and backer Coleby Clausen, but overall is anything but heavenly. In another hard fought game, the Horned Frogs continue to jump in the polls.

Tennessee at No. 1 Alabama (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) The Kiffins – Coach Lane and dad, Monte (defense) – have smoothly settled into the Knoxville community. The UT identity remains its top twenty defense. All-America safety Eric Berry, backer Rico McCoy, and end Chris Walker lead a group that relentlessly attacks from all angles. The offense is also beginning to awaken from its Van-Winkle slumber. QB Jonathan Crompton (13 touchdown passes – 9 interceptions) directs a group that relies almost exclusively on the legs of Montario Hardestry, the nation’s twelfth leading runner, to open up the passing attack.

The Tide is at its highest. Coach Nick Saban’s defense infiltrates an offense with the ferocity of a staph infection. These Tuscaloosa Titans, led by an All-America threesome; backer Rolando McClain, nose Terrance Cody, and safety Javier Arenas (ribs-uncertain), allow runners less than 2.5 yards a carry, swat a pass like a grizzly, and are the fourth stingiest eleven in America – allowing less than 12 points a game. The catalyst of the nation’s thirteenth highest scoring offense is its unstoppable cannon-ball tailback, Mark Ingram, the nation’s fourth leading rusher. He also continues to rise in the Heisman race. The elusive one is assisted by quarterback Greg McElroy (9 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions) wideouts Julio Jones, Colin Peek, and a pair of dynamic runners in Trent Richardson and Roy Upchurch. Despite the fact that McElroy’s been shaky of late, it’s still too much for Rocky Top to handle, as the Tide washes the Orange out of Tennessee.

No. 7 Iowa at Michigan State (BTN, 7 p.m.) It’s time for some Hawkeye love. Iowa is the helmeted version of Harold Stassen. Nobody takes them seriously – but all they do is win. Ronald Regan was munching jelly beans (1985), the last time the Boys of the Corn started 7-0. This Iowa City eleven also owns the second longest (10) winning streak in America. Unlike the perennial presidential loser – Iowa has a winning campaign manager; Coach Kirk Ferentz. The D, the nation’s sixteenth stingiest, is the Hawkeyes foundation. Senior backer Pat Angerer – who plays that way – leads a group that is second in turnovers gained, with assists from fellow backer Jeremiha Hunter and end Broderick Binns. Mistake-prong quarterback Ricky Stanzi (11 touchdown passes – 8 interceptions) leads this pedestrian gang (81st) with help from the tailback tandem of Adam Robinson, Brandon Wegher, starry tight end Tony Moeaki, and wideout Derrell Johnson-Koulianos.

MSU reflects the personality of its tough, disciplined coach; Mark Dantonio. After a sluggish start, the Spartans have fought back to win three straight and currently sit at: 4-3. Sparty attacks with a top-twenty passing attack, utilizing the quarterback tandem of Kirk Cousins (9 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions) and Kirk Nichol. This duo is assisted by tailback Larry Cooper, and wideouts Blair White and B.J. Cunningham. The D, behind backers Greg Jones, Eric Gordon and tackle Jerel Worthy stones runners, but is weak as the Tennessee Titans in defending the pass. In a tough, close game, we think the Boys of the Corn continue its bountiful harvest.

South Florida at No. 20 Pitt (ESPN, Noon – regional) We’ve seen this movie before. South Florida shots up the polls only to flop in its first real league test. The question that gnaws at the USF faithful – which direction does this Bulls team take. The top twenty scoring offense is commanded by its dual threat QB, B.J. Daniels (7 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions) who is also the team’s leading rusher. The signal caller is assisted by tailback Moise Plancher and a pair of quality wideouts in Carlton Mitchell and Dontavia Bogan. The nation’s ninth stingiest D, attacks behind bookend ends Craig Marshall and All-America George Selvie, but has been pedestrian in stopping the run.

The question in Pittsburgh carries a similar theme. Can the “Stache” – Coach Dave Wannstedt – handle the prosperity? Pitt’s top twenty scoring offense is fueled by the legs of an explosive true-freshman, tailback Dion Lewis, who is the nation’s third leading rusher. For the Pitt faithful, this kid is conjuring up flashes of its iconic hero; Tony Dorsett. The Panthers are directed by QB Bill Stull (14 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions) the nation’s seventh most efficient passer. The QB also has the luxury of focusing on a pair of field stretching targets; Jonathan Baldwin and Dorin (8 touchdowns) Dickerson. The D led by backer Adam Grimm and linemen Mick Williams and Greg Romeus, struggles defending the pass, but is third in the nation in sacking the quarterback. We think Dion and the “Stach” make beautiful music, as Pitt climbs higher in the polls.

Oregon State at No. 4 USC (Ch.5, 8 p.m.–regional) Here’s a quizz. Who is the chief dam builder for the Beavers? Answer – its All-America tailback Jacquizz Rodgers (13 touchdowns) the nation’s ninth leading rusher. The Quizz is equally dynamic catching passes out of the backfield. The rest of the offense operates under the leadership of QB Sean Canfield (8 touchdown passes – 4 interceptions) with assists from another Rodgers – wideout brother James, along with Damola Adeaji. The D behind backers Keaton Kristick and David Pa’aluhi stones runners but is as fraudulent (6th from bottom) as an Afghan election defending the pass.

The Men of Troy – truly are. Pete Carroll’s Dream Machine has won a jaw-dropping 87 of its last 97. True freshman quarterback Matt Barkley has settled in as; “the next big thing” with the help of a stable of tailbacks featuring Joe McKnight and Stanley Havil. The kid can also rely on a pair of play makers in wideout Damien Williams and tight end Anthony McCoy. The nation’s fifth stingiest D, behind All-America safety Taylor Mays, backer Chris Galippo, and ends Nick Perry and Everson Griffen, stones runners, but has been like a mediocre 3-foot swell in defending the pass. Make it 88 of 98 as the Southern Cal surfs to another win.

If the classic television show “To Tell the Truth,” was still in vogue – host Gary Moore would ask the college football landscape this question: Would the real number one team, please stand up. Based on the sloppiness and uncertainty of yesterday – everyone would remain seated. Florida, Alabama, Texas and USC, all looked vulnerable and pretenders to the Throne.

It started at noon in the Cotton Bowl. In a game that had more hits than another classic – Norton/Frazier – Texas did just enough to eek out a 16-13 victory. In this game OU lost for the second and most likely last – it’s reigning Heisman Trophy quarterback Sam Bradford to the same shoulder injury. While the Horns Heisman Trophy quarterback Colt McCoy played like he was the one with the injury – and severely injured his Heisman chances.

In Tuscaloosa – it was the Mark Ingram Show. The Tide’s starry tailback and now a serious Heisman Trophy contender rolled for 246 yards – the third most in Alabama history – while the D played in its usual intimidating style.

In Gainesville – it took a pair of missed field goals – the second with 3:08 left in the game – to allow the toothless Gators to mount a last second field goal winning drive against Arkansas. It keeps the nation’s longest winning streak alive at: 16. YIKES!!

In South Bend things were going swimmingly for Pete Carroll’s Trojans – piling up a 20 point fourth quarter lead – then poof USC had to hand on for dear life as ND once again mounted a furious fourth quarter comeback only to fall short in the end-zone. Was it a pink-slip game for Charlie Weis – maybe. If he ends10-2 probably not, if he finishes 9-3 – possibly. USC’s true freshman quarterback matt Barkley outplayed Jimmy Clausen, while ND is 1-16 in the last 3 years against teams who have finished with a winning record. Weis has lost five in a row to its West Cost rival, while USC has ripped off 8 straight against the Irish.

1985 –the second term of Ronald Regan played a significant role in yesterday’s action. It was the last time Iowa has stood corn tall – 7-0, and it is also the last time Temple has won 4 in a row. Iowa also owns the second longest winning streak in America at 10. What makes the Kirk Ferentz’s Hawkeyes so tough – as the game goes deeper they get stronger.

In Lafayette Purdue knocked off the mighty Buckeyes 26-18. In doing so the Boilermakers boiled away a couple of streaks: PU had lost 17 straight to a top 25 opponent, while Ohio State had won an amazing 16 consecutive conference road games. Can we now say the Buckeyes Terrelle Pryor is not a leader? YES!!

Old friend Buddy Teevens – our pal to the north has now lost 17 straight – second longest in the nation. That albatross could end next week in Hanover against Columbia.

Ron Zook – Illinois 1-5, and based on schedule the “Fighting” Illini may not win another game.

Great bounce back for the local eleven- as BC and good guy coach Spaz – put a hurting on old friend tom O’Brien 52-20. In its last four games O’Brien’s defense ahs surrendered 162 points! Double Yikes!!

The ultimate Jekyll/Hyde team Clemson crushed Wake Forest 38-6, climb to 3-3 and back into the ACC picture.

Fraud Alert! Texas Tech went into Lincoln in a pay-back game for the Huskers and throttled Nebraska 31-10. It was 24-3 at the half as boos rained down from the Lincoln faithful. WOW!!

Despite the weakness of its schedule – Penn State (6-1) has yet to allow a point to be scored in the first half.

Kansas surrenders points as often as its coach eats, and it caught up to them yesterday as Colorado sprung the upset in Boulder 34-30.

Fraud Alert #2 – KState a week after being “Route66” by Texas Tech, stomped and stamped out 62 of its own over hapless Texas A&M: 62-14. Coach Mike Sherman should be making an appointment with HR for Monday morning.

Old Friend Al Groh is making his annual employment drive at Virginia. His Cavs left for dead four weeks ago – have now won three straight, to get even at 3-3.

Finally, the old guy – coach rich Brooks and his Kentucky Wild Cats went into the Plains of Auburn and came home with a 21-14 victory. It was KU’s first victory over the Tigers since the Administration of LBJ in 1966.

That’s it from cyber space. We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week 8!! Wednesday night. Until Then Peace

Last Friday afternoon, I noticed a large nasty white head pimple protruding at a spot half-way down the right side of my right leg. I did what all “real” men `have been doing for centuries; I squeezed and popped that sucker. Mistake. I performed the same “surgery” on Saturday afternoon. Bigger Mistake. Sunday afternoon I paid the price for those procedures – (I knew I should have stayed in a Holiday Inn)- when said leg became red, infected, and blew into Winfrey-esque size. So after a pair of nights in the hospital hooked up to a total of five IV’s, I’m home and hopefully on the mend. This weekend, let’s see which teams get a leg up, and which flounder around, like one of their legs is afflicted with some infectious disease.

No. 20 Oklahoma vs. No. 3 Texas Dallas, Cotton Bowl (Ch.5, Noon) OU is giddy. Reigning Heisman Trophy winner quarterback Sam Bradford, has returned. Already saddled with a pair of losses, this is a major test for the starry QB with the cruise missile accuracy. A bigger concern for the Sooner faithful has been the disappointing performance of tailbacks DeMarco Murray and Chris Brown. They were expected to perform at a much higher level. The best news out of Norman is that its touchdown making wideout Ryan Broyles (shoulder) may be healthy enough to play. The Sooners D comes whistling down the Plain as the nation’s third stingiest (less than 9 points a game) eleven. They are led by backers Ryan Reynolds, Travis Lewis and end Jeremy Beal, but have been less than airtight in defending against the pass.

Statistic, like lies, – deceive. On paper the Horns are hooking teams on the hoof as America’s highest scoring (47 pts. a game) team. But a Sherlock investigation of those numbers reveals that much of that was done against three teams from: Hopeless U. The offense is directed by another Heisman Trophy contender, All-America quarterback Colt McCoy. This sharp-shooter is firing at a 73% completion rate, but has surprisingly already tossed 6 interceptions. In a late breaking development Coach Mack Brown’s Burnt Orange may be without both starting tailbacks, Tre Newton and Vondrell McGee. If that in fact occurs, highly touted Foswhitt Whittaker will carry the load. Against the “little boys,” the D behind end Sam Acho and backer Rodderick Muckelroy, is the nation’s best in slowing runners, and in the top twenty in points allowed. In a game that for us, is very difficult to analyze, we went with a sign. My Doc the last two days went to UT Med-School – no brainer – Texas.

No.4 VaTech at No.19 Georgia Tech (ESPN, 6 p.m.) VaTech is scary. This Blacksburg Fright Night is led by quarterback Tyrod Taylor (8 interceptions – 1 interception), the nation’s tenth most efficient passer. What places him into the Hitchcock-ian category? This dual threat speedster is finally finding some consistency with his accuracy. He also has more help than a Hyatt Hotel. It starts with tailback Ryan “Little Sweetness” Williams (9 touchdowns), who checks in as the nation’s sixth best rusher. The QB also has a pair of explosive receivers in Jarrett Boykin and Danny Coale. The latter is averaging an eye-popping 26 yards per catch. Bud Foster’s D, led by end Jason Worilds and backers Barquell Rivers, and Cody Grimm, has shown some early season fissures, particularly in stopping the run, but seems to have those problems corrected.

Navy always believed, and now the rest of the country knows; Coach Paul Johnson’s triple option works very well against the “Big Boys.” The Rambling Wreck – 277 yards a game – chews more ground than a thresher at an Iowa corn field at harvest. The chief soil turner is tailback Jonathan Dwyer, with considerable help from its one dimensional quarterback Josh Nesbitt. The QB directs a great option, but hits a target about as often as John Kerry shies from a television camera. The D has a pair of disruptors in end Derrick Morgan and backer Brad Jefferson, but overall has been as effective as Diane Wilkerson’s defense for not paying her taxes. Hokie, Hokie, Hoki, Hi – the jacket fits better on Beamer.

No. 6 USC at No. 25 Notre Dame (Ch.7, 3:30 p.m.) USC plays a better defense than Oriole legend – and my all-time favorite – Mark Belanger. The nation’s fourth stingiest D, (surrendering less than 9 points a game) inhales runners, and has Master-locked opponents behind a roster of future Sunday stars, in All-America safety Taylor Mays, end Everson Griffen, and backer Chris Gallippo. These Men of Troy have allowed a seasonal total of 43 points and a jaw-dropping total of 11 points in the 2nd and 3rd quarter combined. The offense, like the vacant Downtown Crossing eye-sore, remains very much a work in progress. True-freshman quarterback Matt Barkley (3 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions), is adjusting nicely. The QB relies on a stable of tailbacks, which features Joe McKnight, and a Linus-blanket receiver in Damien Williams, who has been held to one touchdown reception.

Touchdown Jesus must be paying Charlie Weis’s salary. The magician behind the cardiac Irish is its Houdini-like quarterback Jimmy Clausen, (12 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions), who leads the nation in passing efficiency. If he leads ND to the victory, something they haven’t done in their last seven tries, he’ll shoot into the top five in the Heisman ranks. This dart thrower has access to more weapons than the Taliban. He has a field stretching receiver, Golden Tate, who is 4th in the nation in receiving yards, and a Prudential-sized tight end in Kyle Rudolph, and a powerful runner in Armando Allen. The D remains the butt-ache for the Domer faithful. It has allowed opponents to fatten into Weis-type profiles. This sorry bunch behind safety Kyle McCarthy and backer Darius Fleming is tenth from the bottom is pass defense, and triple digits (100) in overall “defense.” This is a statement game for the Irish, and more importantly, it could determine Weis’s employment. We see a pink slip in the abrasive one’s future – Sorry Charlie.

No. 24 South Carolina at No. 2 Alabama (ESPN, 7:45) The Head Ball Coach just might have something “big” brewing in South Carolina. Since his arrival four-plus years ago, Spurrier’s Cocks have lived with mediocrity. They have risen above the seven win total only once. Hired for his offensive wizardly, the east coast USC has done it with a ferocious defense. This top 15 rated group is led by its All-America caliber backer Eric Norwood with help from end Cliff Matthews. The offense is directed by the improving quarterback Steven Garcia (9 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions) with assists from tailbacks Kerry Miles, and the wideout tandem of Moe Brown and Teri Gurley. This group is about as exciting as peas and carrots, and has caused a lot of anxiety ridden, visor tossing, moments for the coach.

In Tuscaloosa, (Where Groucho always preferred to elephant hunt – because; “The tusks are looser.” – I know I use this every year) Coach Nick Saban’s Tide has a defense that is Pentagon worthy – the post Don Rumsfeld Pentagon. The nation’s eighth stingiest eleven intimidates behind a three-some of All-Americas; nose Terrance (mount) Cody, backer Roland McClain and corner Javier Arenas. This group is second overall, suffocates the run, and shoots down a pass better than Dick Chaney shoots a friend. First year starter, quarterback Greg McElroy (9 touchdown passes – 1 interception) has handled all challenges, but the Tide’s offensive engine runs on the legs of tailback Mark Ingram, who continues to climb the Heisman Trophy standings. In a game that will have more hits than a Beatles Convention – the tide goes out on Spurrier’s Cocks.

Arkansas at No. 1 Florida (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) Coach Bobby $Petrino’s Hogs are snorting. The reason for this hog –heaven euphoria is the play of its rifle armed, skyscraper (6-7 -248 pounds) QB Ryan Mallett (13 touchdowns – 3 interceptions) who is performing as the nation’s tenth most efficient passer. The Michigan transfer directs the country’s eleventh highest scoring offense. He is assisted by the field stretching receiving corps of Greg Childs and Jariuus Wright and the running of Michael Smith. The Razorback faithful are well aware; the issue in Fayetteville is on the defensive side of the ball. These guys haven’t been able to bring home the bacon. How bad has it been? Well John Edwards has a better chance of getting elected President, than Arkansas has of stopping the Florida running assault.

In Gainesville it’s: “Happy Days Are Here Again.” Tim Tebow is back – on the cover of SI – and Florida remains on track in its quest for a second consecutive national championship. The nation’s third most efficient passer (7 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions – 5 rushing td’s) directs the seventh highest scoring eleven. The All World QB is assisted by tailbacks Chris Rainey and Jeremy Demps, who along with Mr.Tebow, comprise the nation’s second best rushing attack – 284 yards a game. TT also has a pair of starry targets in All-America tight end Aaron Hernandez and wideout Riley Cooper. On D, the Gators have more star-power than the O.J. team, and have also garnered more number ones than Hertz. Its Goldman Sachs resume finds the Gators first in fewest points allowed (less 7 a game), first in pass defense, and first in overall D. They cover territory, as Mel Brooks once wrote: with ludicrous speed, and punish behind an All-America quartet of backer Brandon Spikes, end Carlos Dunlap, corner Joe Haden and safety Ahmad Black. Now that Tebow is in control, and Urban Meyer is piloting, there will be no let-up in the Swamp, as its ludicrous speed ahead toward that second national championship.

Tim Tebow plays! Florida Wins! That has been the winning formula in Gainesville for the past four years. For the past two weeks the Gator faithful has acted like they were regulars at a Holiday Inn, as the concussion of its All-World consumed the airwaves. Everybody had an opinion, and everybody was an expert. But it was the Tigers of LSU who pronounced the QB, hale and hearty, as Florida knocked off the previously undefeated Tigers 13-3 in Death Valley. It keeps Florida on course for its Armageddon showdown with Alabama in the SEC Championship.

Now for the Crimson Tide – in our humble opinion – the best team in the land. Alabama has two devastating weapons, Mark Ingram, an unstoppable tailback, who is rapidly climbing in the Heisman ranks, and a defense, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in Tuscaloosa since the days of the checkerboard hat of one; Paul “Bear” Bryant.

On the local scene the situation continues to deteriorate. The Huskies of Northeastern lost its13 consecutive game. It could be worse. A few miles up the road in Hanover, New Hampshire, Buddy Teevens and his Big Green of Dartmouth lost its 16 consecutive game, the second longest streak in America.

Another old friend, Tom O’Brien was clobbered by the Dukies of Duke: 49-28. That’s right, Coach David Cutcliff’s Blue Devil football team, a 14 ½ point dog, won an ACC road game for the first time in nearly six years to climb to 3-3. They also snapped an eleven game losing streak to the Wolfpack. Duke’s starry quarterback Thad Lewis shredded the NC State “defense” for five touchdown passes and had a career high 459 yards. Coach K, who!!

The television announcer said it best,” It was like feeding chum to sharks. He wasn’t describing the latest fishing show; he was aptly describing the VaTech defense as it feasted on the hapless offense of Boston College. Amazingly the 48-14 destruction wasn’t as CLOSE as the score indicated. How bad was it? In the first half BC had managed 0 first downs, 0-12 in passing with a pair of interceptions, one for a pick six, and a total of 3 offensive yards!!!!! Starting quarterback Dave Shinskie finished his day:: 1-12 – 2 ints., and 4 total yards. Double Yikes!!

Trouble in Champaign, Illinois, as it appears as if the coach Ron Zook era is rapidly coming to a close. The woeful Illini lost again, falling to Michigan State 24-14, dropping them to 1-4.

It’s once again starting to look like every other year in Syracuse, since the firing of Paul Pasqualoni, who just happened to be the school’s second winningiest coach. The Cuse or should we say the excuse, was hammered by a good West Virginia team, dropping the Orange to 2-4.

In Athens, Georgia, the Dawgs faithful are angry. The Bulldogs showed exactly why they are unranked, as Tennessee, in Knoxville took them to the woodshed 45-19. And this is by a Tennessee team that is offensively challenged!! Yikes!

The Head Ball Coach, otherwise known as Steve Spurrier, has his Gamecocks 5-1, and primed for next week’s showdown in Tuscaloosa.

How about them Black Knights of the Hudson! Army took down an SEC team Vanderbilt 16-13 in overtime, and now find themselves sitting at 3-3. Great job by first year coach Rich Ellerson, who is trying end Army’s run of 12 straight losing seasons.

If only Ohio State could generate some offense to bookend its Big Time defense. In its 31-13 deceiving victory over a previously undefeated Wisconsin, Ohio State scored on a pair of interception returns and a kickoff return.

After losing its opener to William and Mary, Al Groh, who is hanging on by a blade, has won two in a row, as the Cavaliers destroyed Indiana 47-7.

Another defensively challenged team the 16th ranked Jayhawks of Kansas hung on defeat Iowa State 41-36.

Congrats to Rutgers for its 600th victory. The Scarlet Knights who played in the first ever college football game against Princeton in 1869: has an all-time record of: 600-591-42.

Oregon’s Chip Kelly, formerly of UNH has his Ducks flying at 5-1, having won five in a row. It’s a great testament to his coaching ability after the opening night fiasco in which one of his star players sucker-punched a Boise State player.

Mark Whipple once again cranked up the Miami offense as the U overwhelmed Florida A&M 48-16. The sign of a very good team is when they don’t suffer any letdown after an emotional victory the week before.

Two more coaches who should start polishing resumes: Steve Kragthorpe of Louisville, and Mark Friedgen of Maryland, who are a combined 3-8. Kragthorpe is under the most pressure at 1-4, and 12-17 in his two plus year tenure at Louisville.

And let’s throw in Dan Hawkins of Colorado, his 1-4 Buffs won’t cut it with the once proud tradition in Boulder.

Undefeated Iowa won a squeaker against Michigan, and own the second longest winning streak in the country at nine.

Finally, our performance of the day goes to Bowling Green wideout Freddie Barnes, who caught 22 passes for 278 yards and 3 touchdowns as the Falcons defeated Kent State 36-35.

That’s it from cyber-space. We’ll be up and running with week 7 Wednesday Night. Until then. Peace. PK

Before we begin – it was correctly pointed out by one of our “loyal” readers that our win/loss total was posted incorrectly – or as this gentleman said – “It looked more like Enron accounting.” To set the record straight: our record was incorrectly posted as 17-8, when in fact we stand at 14-11, after a pair of 2-3 weeks. But in reality, in this very exciting and unpredictable season – a winning record at this point, although below our usual “high” standards – it’s not that bad. As the philosopher once said, “Two weeks does not a season make.” We have contacted PricewaterhouseCoopers for assistance and they will work closely with us to monitor the accounting practices. Now, to the business at hand: – the handicapping of week 6.

We begin this week, banned in the home of Buddy Holly, Lubbock, Texas.

Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach has issued a team-wide ban on the use of twitter. The edict went into effect last week after one of his players “tweeted” that coach was late for a team meeting. The erudite and eccentric coach, a lawyer, who has an affinity for pirates, said, “Players don’t need to twitter or Facebook, they are simply stupid distractions. I think that a guy who plays college football gets enough attention. It’s a bunch of narcissists that want to sit and type stuff about themselves all the time. We’ll put mirrors in some of their lockers, if that is necessary, but they don’t have to twitter.”

Hey coach, tell us how you really feel. This weekend, let’s see which teams mirror the game plan, and which “face” the facts, and tweet out an SOS.

No. 1 Florida at No. 4 LSU (Ch.4, 8p.m.) I know it’s early, but this may be the game of the year. In the last three years, the winner of this game has won the national championship. And since taking over their respective programs, these coaches are a combined: 95-20. But Urban Meyer is 0-2 on his visits to LSU. Florida stat: Coach Meyer is 28-3, when he has a week to prepare for a particular opponent. Assuming its All-World quarterback Tim Tebow is playing (concussion), if he can’t go, sophomore quarterback John Brantley will get the start. Either way, the Boys from the Sunshine State should be fine. TT, who has better leadership skills than General David Petraeus, is the nation’s third most efficient passer, (6 touchdown passes – 1 interception) and team’s second leading rusher. If Brantley starts, the Gators will smoothly motor, riding the nation’s top rushing (over 300 yds. a game.) team. Florida attacks utilizing a stable of backs featuring; Jeffrey Demps and Chris Rainey. When the former Heisman Trophy winner does throw, he relies on wideout Riley Cooper and his All-America tight end Aaron Hernandez to move the ball. When this entire offensive cocktail is mixed together, the results are explosive, as Florida shakes as America’s second highest scoring team. But despite that offensive dynamism, it’s the Gator’s D, which causes the acid reflux in the stomach lining of opposing coaches. This speed infused, snarling bunch, is tougher than a $2 steak, ranks first in total D, while surrendering a total of 29 points. This Iron Curtain with a drawl, is led by a quartet of All-Americas; backer Brandon Spikes, end Carlos Dunlap, corner Joe Haden, and safety Ahman Black. If Tebow doesn’t play, these guys are strong enough to carry the UF banner to victory.

Up to this point, LSU’s lofty ranking seems more like a game of 3-card Monty game. It just doesn’t seem to be on the level, as the Tigers have had more escapes than Harry Houdini. But a victory on Saturday night, and Les Miles’ boys, earns an all expense paid trip to Las Vegas, and a legitimate front table seat at the WSP – World Series of Poker. The reason for those feelings is an offense, which ranks a Temple-like 99.th These toothless Tigers pounce with its dual threat, learning curve quarterback, (7 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions) Jordan Jefferson. The QB is assisted by a pedestrian pair of runners in Charles Scott and Keiland Williams, along with a tandem of secondary stretching receivers, Brandon LaFell and Terrance Toliver. The oatmeal-bland D, led by backer Harry Coleman, tackle Drake Nevis and end Rahim Alem, keeps finding a way to keep teams out of the end zone. We think Tebow – QB or not to QB – LSU goes back to shuffling cards. But there is a caveat of karma floating around LSU.

It was during the Eisenhower Administration – a half-century ago – when Tiger stadium last saw a pair of top five teams come – a – calling. It was Halloween night, 1959, when tailback Billy Cannon ran his way into immortality, and ultimately, to New York, to hold a Heisman Trophy. Late in the game Cannon fielded a punt then weaved his way, breaking seven tackles, down the sideline, on an 89 yard game winning scoring jaunt, defeating, then No.1 Mississippi, 7-3. So who knows? Also, during this decade at night in Death Valley, LSU is a USC-like 45-4, and have won 32 straight at home under the lights. But we’re sticking with the Gators.

No.3 Alabama at No. 20 Mississippi (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) Woodrow Wilson (1920) was in the last year of his White House tenure, the last time Alabama scored at least 30 points, in its each of its first five games. Junior quarterback Greg McElroy (9 touchdown passes – 1 interception) has been the spark, responsible for igniting this pyrotechnic Tuscaloosa exhibition. The director of the nation’s eighth highest scoring offense, relies heavily, on the running ability, of a trio of shifty tailbacks, featuring Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson, and Terry Grant. This group drives America’s tenth best rushing attack. The unheralded, but starry QB also has a pair of sure handed targets, in tight end Colin Peek, and wideout Julio Jones. But it’s the defense that makes the Tide rise. Coach Nick Saban’s D, hits harder than Bernie Madoff hit his client’s retirement accounts. These fearsome junk-yard dogs are led by this All-America threesome: backer Rolando McClain, corner Javier Arenas, and nose Terrance (Mount – 365 pounds) Cody. They are ranks second overall nationally, and corral an offense, better than Gil Favor corralled his cattle. (You have to be over 50 to get the Favor reference.)

The Grove hasn’t had this much excitement since the ‘Ol Miss Campus produced consecutive Miss Americas. Unfortunately, for the Rebel faithful, quarterback Jevan Snead, a pre-season Heisman Trophy candidate (9 touchdown passes – 5 interceptions, 50% completion rate) hasn’t lived up to the hype. The rest of Coach Houston Nutt’s offense; tailback Brandon Bolder and wideouts Dexter McCluster and Shay Hodge have also gotten dusty on the trail. The D, moves with a different strut, and are definitely crown worthy. This group, led by backer Patrick Trahan, end Kentrell Lockett and All-America end Greg Hardy, is the sixth stingiest in the nation (10 points a game) and has been the grits to the Rebels season. We think the fireworks show gets bolder and brighter, as Alabama walks even closer to a potential crown.

Wisconsin at No. 9 Ohio State (Ch.5, 3:30 p.m.) In Mad-Town (Madison) they have temporarily called off the dogs against Coach Bret Bielema. You win a reprieve, when your team struts out to a surprising 5-0 start. Wiscy’s top 20 scoring attack is directed by its impressive quarterback Scott Tolzien (9 touchdown passes – 3 interceptions), with assists from a pair of glue fingered targets in tight end Garrett Graham and wideout Nick Toon. As with most successful Wisconsin teams, the real mover and shaker for the Madison eleven; is its signature position of tailback. The Badgers have a good and big one, in 250 pound clock controlling John Clay, who also pounds along as the nation’s fifth leading runner. The opportunistic D, behind backers Mike Taylor, Jaevery McFadden and end O’Brien Schofield, is in the top 20 in sacks, has grabbed 7 interceptions, and is 4th nationally in turnovers gained

In its last three games, albeit against overmatched “Matchbook U’s,” the Ohio State defense has allowed a total of 113 yards of rushing, while surrendering a miniscule total of 14 points. These Sons of Woody, are the country’s 8th stingiest group, and inhale runners, behind backers Brian Rolle, Ross Homan, and end Cameron Heyward. Unfortunately for the Buckeye faithful, the Scarlet and Grey have more often resembled the days of Woody’s – three yards and a cloud of dust offense – than the go-go style of the “modern” era. The Bucks highly touted, and abundantly talented quarterback Tyrelle Pryor (8 touchdown passes – 5 interceptions) remains, like our recovering economy, very much a work in progress. The strength of the OSU offense is the reliability of its tailback tandem; Brandon Saine and Dan Herron. On a Saturday in the Horseshoe, we think that the spirit of Woody prevails, as the Bucks run to another home victory.

Michigan at No.12 Iowa (Ch.5, 8 p.m.) May the Force be with you. Translation: so goes its impish true-freshman QB Tate Forcier, so go the Michigan Wolverines. The kid, (9 touchdowns – 3 interceptions) is the glue of the Maize and Blue. He is assisted by the tailback tandem of Carlos Brown and Brandon Minor, the quarterback’s change-up partner; Denard Robinson, and the receiving ability of Darryl Stonum and Martavious Odoms. This group isn’t scintillating – but when the game is on the line, they simply find a way to win. The D, led by backer Obi Ezeh, tackle Ryan Van Bergen and All-America end Brandon Graham, ranks 99th overall, and is about as weak as the latest US employment figures.

Iowa has won 9 straight, and is 5-0 for the first time since the “heady” days of; Bill and Monica – 1995. The signature of this Kirk Ferentz coached eleven, is the corn-fed D, who are the tenth stingiest in America. These Hawkeyes are led by linebacker Pat Angerer – who plays that way – along with fellow backer Jeremiha Hunter and end Karl Klug. The offense is commanded by quarterback Ricky Stanzi (8 touchdown passes – 7 interceptions). The QB is cocooned by a seasoned offensive line, and is helped by the running of tailbacks Adam Robinson, Brandon Wegher, and the field stretching ability of Trey Stross and Marvin McNutt. We think the Force fades, and Bill and Monica enjoy a victory cigar, as the Hawkeyes climb to 6-0.

Boston College at No. 5 Virginia Tech ( TV38, noon) The BC faithful are hoping that the home-town heroes second venture away from the confines of Chestnut Hill, will allow the Eagles to soar to new heights. One thing is certain; BC has found a quarterback. Despite BC’s 95th overall offensive ranking, Dave Shinskie (7 touchdown passes – 2 interceptions) the ‘seasoned’ 25 year old freshman “Goldie Oldie,” is climbing nicely on the learning curve. In addition to Jesuit prayers, the QB is nicely assisted by his water-toting tailback Montel Harris, and the clutch receiving of wideout Rich Gunnell. The foundation of the Eagles surprising season is the nation’s 20th stingiest defense (15 points a game), led by freshman backer Luke Kuechly and lineman Alex Albright.

Even though his completion percentage is a shade under 50%, the Hokies quarterback, Tyrod Taylor (6 touchdown passes – 1 interception), is developing into a team leader. The dual threat director is greatly assisted by one of the nation’s best, in tailback Ryan Williams (8 td’s), who sits 8th overall in rushing. Taylor also has a pair of field stretching receivers in Jarrett Boykin and Danny Coale. To this point, Bud Foster’s lunch pail D, featuring backers Barquell Rivers, Cody Grimm and end Jason Worilds, hasn’t lived up to its usual Blacksburg standards, as opponents have been able to run on the Hokies. But we think it’s: “Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi, …”as VaTech continues to make its case for BCS supremacy.