Body-positive blog

Menu

Changes to my labia minora

When I was younger, both of my labia minora were as small as the one you see on the left here, and shapewise they were perfect mirror images of each other. Not having examined them in any way for many years until I took these pictures yesterday, I hadn’t realised until then that one of them has grown bigger with age. I was surprised at the changes to my labia minora, but I still think they look just fine; I’m happy with the way they look. And I assume their smallness is practical in some contexts, so I appreciate that aspect, too. As for my labia majora, I’m not too pleased about them slowly losing their original fullness, but ultimately it doesn’t bother me all that much.

I could end my contribution there. However, I feel like mentioning that I have insecurities (to put it mildly) about other things in that area. I feel very bad about my anus, since I’ve had surgery for pyles four times, which has left conspicuous scars and “twisted” skin, plus I’ve since gotten new pyles. All of that is, or would be, clearly visible in some sexual situations, so it bothers me a lot. Plus, as you can tell, there’s this somewhat strange skin-“bridge” between my anus and my genitals, which I don’t love. Furthermore, I dislike my pubic hairs – their colour (they used to be much darker, matching the hair on my head), their quality/structure and their distribution. The worst thing about them, however, is that they’ve started greying, and they’re doing so in a silly way, the greyness spreading from the back towards the front. Oh, and with my partner being considerably younger than me, the greying is even worse for me – although he doesn’t care at all, and often tells me so. (I sometimes pluck the grey hairs, and it hasn’t been too long since I last did it, so the pictures don’t show the full extent.)

Ideally, I’d remove the many unwanted hairs in that region on a regular basis, i.e. all hairs outside the semi-natural “elongated triangle” that I prefer. But it’s just such a hassle, it causes skin pain either during or after removal (depending on the method), and doing it even hurts my back… so most of the time, I have a more or less messy hair situation (see pictures) that contributes to me feeling unattractive.

So, I’m far from feeling good about my private parts. I wanted to share that. But, to return to the topic – after all, this is the labia project – my primary “message” is this: I’m fine with my labia minora, I always have been, and I’m thankful for that. I sincerely empathise with all the women who feel bad about theirs; it must be hard. And I’m truly happy for those who used to feel bad about their labia, but don’t anymore. Changes for the better in body image seem like a miracle to me.

I want to finish by saying that I applaud you, Clare, for starting and running the project, and I’m happy to contribute – in fact I almost feel morally obligated to do so after reading/looking at all the submissions. I hope your page will help many women; I know I feel a liiiiittle bit better about myself in general after seeing all the “un-pornlike” female genitals and surrounding areas on this page and reading about a number of other women’s insecurities. Although my insecurity (read: self-hatred) is not about my labia, I feel a tiny bit less alone – at least for now.

I wish you all the best – you and all other women. And all men, too – bless the heterosexuals among them for tending to like our genitals more than we do. 😊

P.S.: I’m sorry, Clare, if I’ve written too much, and/or gone too far off topic. I’d like for all of the above to go on the page, but you can, of course, cut out as many parts as you like. 😊

Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights, and for your words of support for the Labia Project. I have published your submission in full 🙂