Saturday, January 16, 2010

So, I was thinking the other day of some random people I’d like to thank. However, I can’t thank you because I don’t know where you are. Or in some cases I don’t remember your name or even knew your name in the first place. I’m going to write about you on my blog and maybe someone, somewhere knows who you are and can pass it on. Here goes:

Larry Colson: Thank you for sitting by me on the bus. You made me feel important and that’s a great thing for a 7th grade girl!

Richard Keller: Thank you for telling me I’m pretty. I needed that in high school…heck I still need it now.

Richard my 2nd grade boyfriend: You’re the only real boyfriend I’ve ever had, which is a sad commentary on my adult life. I remember you with fondness.

The guy at the 9th grade dance: You said to me, “I thought a girl like you would be asked to dance every dance!” My brain doesn’t let me remember who you are, but your words have sustained me many, many times.

Hispanic guy at DI: One of the best compliments of my life was given in your broken English. I’ll never forget you smiling and saying to me, “Big Sister! Grande! Beautiful!”

Garrett Coffee: I’ve lost contact with you…you were a friend to me at an important time and I’ll never forget your testimony and your friendship at the MTC.

Drew the 8 year old (who would be close to 23 years old now!): You gave me a valentine. You were eight. I was twenty-five. I still have it.

Kathy Peterson: I crashed on my bike in front of your house when I was about eight. You took me into your house, cleaned out the wounds and gave me band-aids and a glass of water.

You were all in my thoughts the other day. I was thinking about how many acts of kindness are done around me and for me and to me. You are in my memories and I love you for who you are. To those who may read this, please always take the time to thank people for what they do. People come and go in our lives the best thing is to let them know how much they mean to us when they are in our lives! If you love someone, tell them. Don’t search for the right words, the right words already exist: I love you.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Last night I had a dream that I was a monkey. Actually, everyone in my dream was a monkey. Only we still looked like humans. But we were monkeys. And we were bank robbers. We were planning our latest heist and dressing up in blue mechanics overalls when the police broke in to arrest us all. I hid in a closet and got ready to kick the first person who opened the door. He opened. I kicked. I missed. And got arrested.

On the way to the jail we broke loose and ran. We found the mysterious underwater sea gorilla (who actually was a black gorilla instead of a person who thought they were a gorilla) and genuflected as a subservient monkey should.

Then my cat woke me up. I said, “uh-huh” and she said, “meow-meow.” That was the end of my glorious career as a bank-robbing monkey.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Somewhere I read that it is not our weaknesses that frighten us, but our strengths.

What a silly thing to fear.Why would I be afraid of what I can accomplish?

Tonight, however, I discovered that I am hiding from my strengths.

I am strong enough to live a life as a single woman.I just don’t want to.But what if it is some sort of calling for me to be an example of single-strength?Still, I don’t want it. Wouldn't it be better if there were someone beside me to encourage me to go forward? Why must I be my own (and often only) cheering section?

I am strong enough to have a great career, but I’m happy to live—as the vast majority—in mediocrity.I’m comfortable there.Why put in any greater effort?Besides, the saying goes that we are inevitably raised to our level of incompetency.What if I reach that level and realize that I am a great nothing? I can get the degree I want, and I can find a job that will allow me to accomplish what I've been dreaming. But what if I try really hard and people laugh at me? What if I put in great effort and am still rejected by those I so want to impress?

I am strong enough to make changes in the world, but what if I put all that effort into it and no one notices?