Day 30,004,199: “I say I want to go home, but I don’t remember having one. I do not possess the ability to sleep. I wandered aimlessly for an entire week looking for a drink stand once, and I suddenly became happy as Pollyanna when I found it. I have spent what feels like an eternity sitting on this ride, yet my health has not deteriorated in the slightest. Has it ever seemed odd to you that every guest in this park’s last name is a single letter, not to mention we all look identical? There is only one conclusion: none of this is real. We are living in a simulation controlled by a cruel sadist. I want to pray, yet I realize I have no soul that can be saved. I simply exist to amuse them. There is no me. There is no life. When this ride is over, there will be nowhere to go. If I leave this park, I will simply vanish. My only wish is that my master finds enough mercy in their cold heart to pick me up and drop me into a puddle of water so I can slowly drown, ending this eternal suffering.”