-is ONLY attracted to women
-give great attention to his appearance
-uses plenty of skin/hair care products
-dresses in style and enjoys shopping
-is hip to all things sophisticated
-prefers wine to beer
-is extremely name-brand conscious
-enjoys hosting parties/events
-is a romantic with an appreciation for art

I was born a metro, well over two decades before the term was popularly coined (Mark Simpson, 2002 - thanks a lot asshole). Now I can't even open a magazine without reading about metrosexuals. Growing trend my ass! Only about 10% of those claiming to be metro are truly metro. The remaining 90% are called something else...POSERS. These are the same guys that considered becoming homos when shows like Will & Grace and Queer Eye premiered. Get your own damn identity you fuckers!

When I heard John Kerry and Howard Dean claiming to be a metrosexuals, I knew it was time to change my ways.