And then there is the largest organization, Neighborhood Moms, which began five years ago as a small gathering of women in North Berkeley but has swelled to 750 members throughout Alameda County.

"This is about making a new community, not out of your next- door neighbors, but other women with similar situations," Lara York, director of the FUN club, said. "It's for moms to sit down and have a cup of coffee with other moms and compare notes. So many people work in (the suburbs). You might have one or two people you can turn to. But a community that doesn't make. We're a true support group."

It is mostly a '90s phenomenon, this tribal gathering of women from often disparate backgrounds with similar concerns and life experiences. Like "soccer moms" before them, mother's groups someday might be recognized by politicians and the media as a powerful voting bloc.

But the aim of mother's clubs is personal, not political. Many of the activities center around the women's roles as parents to prekindergarten children, but the unwritten mission statement is to give the mothers a break -- or a sympathetic ear, if need be.

That is why, in addition to the play groups set up for the children at parks and houses on weekdays, as well as the monthly lectures on child development issues and periodic family field trips, most of the activities are set up as diversions for harried moms.

Thea Walker Daniels, whose children are 3 and 1, blanched when people ask why mothers need a support group such as Neighborhood Moms, the one to which she belongs. She said women of this generation aren't ready to subsume their identities and remain housebound.

"Many women are waiting until an older age to have kids, and their expectations are different than maybe before," Daniels said. "We are used to being stimulated by adult conversation and ideas. A lot of us find that motherhood, nuclear-family style, can be stifling."

True, but Daniels admits much of their discourse naturally revolves around their children. It's a matter of shared suffering and shared joy.

"Parenthood can be crazy-making sometimes," she said. "I mean, if a mom can't roll their eyes with another adult over something that's happening with their kids, she could lose her sanity. But maybe I'm overstating it."

Maybe not. Cheryl Simmons, founder of Neighborhood Moms, said emotional support for mothers is the most important aspect of her club.

ECLECTIC SUB-GROUPS

Included among the 17 "sub- groups" in her organization are Moms Seeking Spiritual Enlightenment, Moms and Kids With Asthma, Working Moms, 40-Plus Moms and Stay-at-Home Moms. Neighborhood Moms also holds monthly seminars on child development issues and a quarterly career networking seminar.

"I've met so many close friends through this," said Diane Pollack of Oakland, who belongs to both East Bay Moms and Neighborhood Moms. "When you have kids, your focus changes, but your interests don't. I'm an outdoorsy person, but the friends I had who did that didn't have kids. So, after I had a kid, I wanted to keep doing the same things I had done, but with my child."

So Pollack and other members of the hiking group strap their toddlers in backpacks and tromp along bucolic trails such as Strawberry Canyon in Berkeley and Briones Park in Orinda. Those with children too old to be carried may participate in separate hikes at stroller-friendly sites, such as Joaquin Miller Park in Oakland.

Lee Eisman began the hiking group for mothers who felt somewhat alien to the physical changes their bodies underwent after giving birth. In some cases, including Eisman's, the moms are in better shape now than before they became pregnant.

"My body's still not where I want it to be," Eisman said. "But I never was a serious hiker before I had my son. A few years ago, I couldn't hike up a hill at all. Now, I go on all of them. But our group is not for everyone, (it's) mainly for (women) into some form of physical fitness."

The goal of the Fremont-Union City-Newark club is based more on a mother's emotional needs. It has a program called In a Pinch, which provides meals and other services for mothers in need, including those who have just given birth and those who have suffered a death in the family.

"I once had a mom who had surgery and was confined to bed for weeks," York said. "Her husband couldn't take much time off from work, so she paid for someone to take care of her child. But she still needed help. So, we had our members volunteer to bring dinner every night, go to the grocery store for her, clean the house."

PLAY GROUPS POPULAR

By far the most popular draw of most mother's clubs is play groups. Rather than troll parks for parents who have similar-aged children, the FUN club has a play-group coordinator who serves as a matchmaker. York said 80 percent of her members belong to play groups.

"Play groups break the isolation, particularly for first-time moms," said Daniels of Neighborhood Moms. "Most say they join for the kids. But it's really a chance to regain sanity for the moms."

Not just the moms, it turns out.

A few stay-at-home dads belong to several clubs. One is Evan Weissman of Oakland, whose wife works full time as a lawyer. He chose to be the primary caregiver of the couple's nine-month-old son, Zane, who rides in a backpack while his father hikes with East Bay Moms.

"I feel totally accepted in that group," Weissman said. "They call me one of the moms. The hiking is mainly for the parents, but on the hikes we talk about recommending certain doctors and about our children's sleep patterns and things."

Weissman, however, did run into what he calls discrimination when he tried to join a play group sponsored by another organization.

"They wouldn't allow me in," he said. "Maybe some of the women felt they couldn't be open with a man there, or talk about their husbands or something. But, as a stay- at-home dad, I have the same concerns they do. I mean, my wife works 50 to 60 hours a week, so I know what they're going through."

Undaunted, Weissman found a solution. He's forming his own play group through friends he has made in East Bay Moms.

EAST BAY MOTHERS' CLUBS

Here are some of the East Bay organizations for mothers of small children: