Simply? Because we get what we focus on. Janet, change your focus and you will change the way you feel. Change the way you feel and you will change your life. Why? Because what we focus on expands.

Try this question exercise, and for this to work, actually think about the answers, don’t just read the questions:

What is the biggest problem in your life right now?

What areas of your life are not going well?

What are you most unhappy about?

As you think about these questions, notice how you feel. Chances are, you are feeling low, unhappy, frustrated.

Now try this (again I want you to answer them, not just read the questions):

What’s going well for you right now?

What accomplishments are you most proud of?

What are you grateful or happy for?

Notice how you feel now. See the difference?

Nothing changed in your circumstances between the first and second set of questions, and yet the second set of questions made you feel better. The way you feel is largely determined by what you focus on. You don’t need to “get a break” to start feeling better about your life, you just need to focus on the right things.

By asking yourself “Why can’t I ever get a break?”, the focus is on you as the victim in a completely hopeless situation. This is a disempowering mindset. You’ll never make progress as long as you keep thinking like this.

If you can control the questions you ask yourself, you can change your focus and control the way you feel regardless of your circumstances. It doesn’t mean that your problems go away, and I’m not suggesting you ignore them. Rather my goal for you is to put you in an empowered state, so that you can solve your problems more effectively, and confidently move forward.

Here’s a more empowering question to ask yourself:

“What can I do right now to change this situation?” OR

“What can I do to make the most of this situation?”

“What is the good in this situation?”

“What decision can I make right now that will propel me in a new direction?”

The list of empowering questions is endless. The trick is to make it a habit. Whenever you catch yourself asking a disempowering question, immediately stop yourself and switch to an empowering question. In fact, say out loud to yourself “SWITCH”. Do this over and over until you create a new habit.

The truth is Janet, the capacity for you to contribute is for all practical purposes, limitless. Get creative! Focus on making that your reality and watch your life soar! To your success…Deb

Nancy, I love this question, because it reveals your high level of awareness – ie to understand that obstacles do have a purpose (aside from the suffering they cause!)

I came across a quote recently which may help you: “Brick walls are a blessing because they let us prove how badly we want something.” How true! And yet more times than not, an obstacle will stop most of us dead in our tracks the instant we perceive it.

Here’s what I know: obstacles are a blessing.

Obstacles are a blessing to you because they immediately surface your underlying insecurities about what you are trying to achieve. In other words, they are a mirror – they reflect your deep seated underlying beliefs about your capabilities and worth. Think about it.

Obstacles in and of themselves are benign. They just simply are. You will never find two people who respond to the same obstacle in the same way. We give them meaning. We get to decide how we will respond to them. And it’s our perception of them that is so revealing.

If you encounter an obstacle and decide to surrender, it means you truly (A) never really wanted it, and/or B) you never really believed that you deserved it or were worthy of it, or were ready for it. It’s truth telling time.

This isn’t about blame or shame. In fact, when we surface a self limiting belief, we should never beat ourselves up about it. We should celebrate it – because it shows our current level of awareness. It shows us where we are now. It reveals our comfort zone. You then get to decide if your current zone of comfort is serving you or not – if your current beliefs about what you are capable and worthy of are serving you or not.

If you are more comfortable with where you are now, than where you want to go, the obstacle will stop you.