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Smith Strong, PLC Blogen-us2019 Smith Strong, PLC, All Rights Reserved, Reproduced with Permissionhttps://www.smithstrong.com/blog/Sun, 15 Sep 2019 06:08:00 GMTSmith Strong, PLC Bloghttps://www.smithstrong.com/images/logoprint.gifhttps://www.smithstrong.com/blog/
Divorce and Custody in Virginia: Quickly Get Back to Fully Living Your Life was written by Van H. Smith and published in 2013. As the book explains, the desired goal for the reader is to educate themselves on the appropriate steps to take during a divorce/custody agreement, and how to set their futures up for success for life in the aftermath.

The book begins with a 12-year-old boy with a dream of becoming a lawyer. He goes on to become an Honorary Iraqi Firefighter, and a William & Mary law graduate, with a revelation to start his own law firm. The law firm he created is now known as Smith l Strong, PLC. Van has built a life and career, (in less than forty years), that most people strive to create throughout their entire lifetime.

Logical Guidance

Much of the book goes into thorough detail of important steps to take during the duration of a divorce. One step that I assume is overlooked, is waiting to leave the marital residence until getting approval from an attorney. I presumed that when I was done with my marriage the logical first step would be to immediately move out of the home to start my new life. (Sounds reasonable right)? This is just an example of Van logically guiding, in the simplest of ways, the future divorcee in the right direction. Van goes into further detail on additional appropriate actions to take, such as: organizing finances, preparing a desired parenting plan, and picking a dream team. Again, each step was broken down into the simplest form, for the reader to feel confident that they are plunging into this process with the right tools.

A considerable amount of time is spent diving into custodial issues; as I’m sure that is the main concern for every parent committed to a divorce. People can be very emotional during this stage of the process. Parental alienation can be an oversight to the parent, and how to avoid it and be in control of emotions around the children was tactfully drilled into perspective. The goal for Smith l Strong, PLC is to settle custody and visitation issues outside the walls of a courthouse. This guide reminds the reader that the children’s best interests should be at the forefront, rather than the emotion felt towards their former partner.

Approachable Guide to Divorce and Custody Process

In closing, I feel I can confidently speak on the appropriate steps to take, (and not to take), during the process of a divorce or custody agreement. I would often ask myself, “Is it really just that easy?”, knowing that it isn’t, but Van wrote this publication in a way that anyone could understand. It assured me that I could share the knowledge I gained from this guide, to assist a friend in the occurrence of this devastating time in their life. I would highly recommend this knowledgeable and speedy read to anyone headed towards the uphill battle called divorce. As I learned from Divorce and Custody: Quickly Get Back to Fully Living Your Life, the process of divorce does not have to be so difficult. It can be swift and simplified, if you are willing to adapt to the changes and seek an impartial council with your best interest in mind.

--Written by Taren M., 28-year old Chesterfield County Resident

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/chesterfield-resident-reviews-divorce-and-custody-book.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-187074Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:16:00 ESTIt is difficult to understand and comprehend the intense feelings of pain and anguish you experience when a loved one dies. When someone we love dies, it feels like a part of us has died too. Instead of trying to “move on” or “get over it,” the best way to deal with grief is to fully embrace it. By embracing your grief, you are able to grapple with and untangle the emotions you are feeling and take a step forward with your life.

The Death of a Loved One Means Life Changes, Not That Life Has Ended

Although the days following the passing of a loved one might feel like you, too, have died, your life must still go on. Be strong and continue to lead a life that would make your loved one proud. When we begin to recognize that life has changed, not ended, we are able to adapt to the changes and move forward with our lives.

Give Yourself Time

Grief has its own schedule. Everyone grieves differently. We have to allow ourselves to feel and experience what is happening in the present - in the here and now. Worrying about the future or regretting and holding guilt about the past will only hinder you and will not help you honor your loved one’s memory.

Take Time To Care For Yourself

You are your own strongest supporter. Everyone experiencing a loss should pay attention to their mental and physical health. Do this by taking time for yourself. Go get a massage, or your hair done. Exercise. Go on hikes in nature or to a favorite vacation spot where you and your loved one shared numerous happy memories.

Find a hobby you enjoy or find a support group of friends to spend time with. Although no hobby or friend can replace your loved one, they can help you in moving forward and continuing to live your life.

Honor Your Loved Ones

Each year, you will be faced with challenging days surrounding your loved one’s death. Birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays will lose their joy, as you feel that a piece of you is missing and the celebration just isn’t the same without your loved one. Honor and embrace these feelings, but use these occasions as a way to celebrate your loved one’s memory.

Although everyone deals with death and grief differently, it is important to remember that you are stronger than you think you are and can get through even the toughest of days. Call Attorney Van Smith today if you are grieving the loss of a loved one and need help with your family law or estate matters. Although your journey forward will be filled with difficulties and struggles, you will make it through this difficult time.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/the-grieving-process-and-caring-for-yourself.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-182757Sat, 28 Jul 2018 05:08:00 EST Divorce tests your relationships with those around you - your former spouse, your children, and your community. One relationship you might have depended on throughout your divorce is your relationship with God.

If you are a believer in God’s faith, divorce can be troublesome on your soul. You might question your relationship with God, repeatedly asking “Why me?” Divorce changes your life, but also gives you an opportunity to grow with God. You can build an equally happy, or exceedingly better life, with God’s guidance. Your spirituality can be renewed.

During your divorce, you probably prayed often. Don’t be discouraged because your prayers might not have been answered: God heard your prayers and was setting you up for something better in life. Your pain caused by your divorce might cause you to see God differently, but God has not changed - He is still there watching over you.

God Wants You

It is important to remember and believe God wants you. When people divorce and need a religious community, they are often ostracized by those who once supported and raised them up in faith. Members of your church community might be judgmental and you might feel personal shame. Remember that a religious community is about your relationship with God, and God will never stop wanting you.

Spiritual Journey: Start Where You Are

When you pray, tell God how you feel. Tell God if you are fearful, angry, happy, or feel guilt. Approach God with humility and tell him how you feel. Open up to him on a deep, personal level. Ask God what he wants you to learn from your divorce and to send a sign of his ever-lasting presence over your life. Look for this sign - He is always with you.

Remain Thankful For All God Does For You

Despite your feelings of anger and grief, remember to thank God for all that he has given you. Although being thankful will not heel your pain, but the process of thanking God for all He has done for you will help you remember all of the good things in life that God has provided.

Practice Forgiveness

You are probably holding onto lots of anger and trying to blame others for your divorce. Forgive those who have wronged you and those who have caused you pain. Forgiveness is a step towards letting go of your anger towards others.

Forgiveness comes easier if you ask God to forgive you, even if you have done nothing wrong. However, God will always grant you forgiveness, and by desiring God’s forgiveness, your spirituality is catapulted into a new realm through spiritual growth.

Throughout your divorce process, God is with you. He is watching over you and guiding you towards a new chapter of your life. Allow your divorce to transform you spiritually and grow in your relationship with God. Your spirituality is yours, and yours only. Your divorce might take many things from you, but it cannot take your relationship with God. God will be there for you, providing a powerful sense of peace that the world and those around you cannot give.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/spirituality-through-the-divorce-process.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-182754Thu, 26 Jul 2018 10:45:00 ESTYou may recall an article I wrote as “the Australian prospective law student”. A year and a half into my law degree at the Queensland University of Technology, I have returned to once again shadow attorney H. Van Smith for another three weeks over my winter break. Less than 24 hours after arriving in the United States, I returned to find the office I had helped to furnish just 18 months prior full of hustling attorneys and paralegals alike, evidence of the exponential growth seen at Smith Strong in the last two years. Below I discuss my experiences, in the context of what I have learned in law school.

A Day in The Life

Each morning began with the Wall Street Journal and a cup of coffee. After this, the practice of law commences for Van and his team.

Smith Strong’s focus on client satisfaction is evident from the moment you set foot in the office. Three times each week, Van meets with all attorneys and paralegals to discuss each and every active matter. After assessing the next steps for each case, tasks are delegated and notes updated. The commitment of each team member to attend these meetings religiously is one of the many factors that Van attributes to the success of Smith Strong, PLC.

Over my three-week internship, I observed everything from initial consultations and teleconferences to case preparation/strategy meetings, and of course the ensuing trials. I also spent time observing the back-end systems and people behind the firm. Although their duties are not always the most glamorous, these people keep the wheels turning, and enable the attorneys to focus solely on clients and their matters. Either by settlement or trial, each matter eventually comes to a resolution. I was captivated as Van and others planned their approach to different matters at both the negotiating table or before a court of law. It was in these situations where I could sense the legal minds of the attorneys ticking as they skillfully navigated the nuanced circumstances of each dispute while advocating for their clients. Two concepts that became particularly apparent on a regular basis were active listening and constructive negotiation.

Active Listening

The human element of practicing law is magnified in family matters, as each case has a backstory that must be understood. I found myself observing attorney-client communication frequently, noting the emphasis placed on active listening. Boulle and Alexander (2012) note that active listening as a concept consists of four key elements: attending, by being with the client physically and psychologically, ensuring that they feel heard; following, which involves indicating your understanding; reflecting, which involves the listener providing feedback as they interpret what has been said; and finally acknowledging, by being empathetic and understanding, (as opposed to sympathetic). I noted each attorney’s ability to briefly summarise a client’s issue by recapping the key points, and identifying the dominant feelings at play. The attorneys often had to “reframe” emotionally charged statements in a way that helped the client think through the situation more analytically. A high level of emotional intelligence proves very useful in the practice of family law.

Creative Negotiation

Incidentally, having just completed a dispute resolution class at my university, I was aware that in negotiation, parties establish target points to reflect their aspirations, and resistance points which reflect their respective boundaries of agreement. The overlap between these points is described in literature as the ‘zone of possible agreement’ (Menkel-Meadow, 1984). I observed many negotiations throughout my short time at Smith Strong, PLC and sought to identify the respective positions of the parties. Additionally, negotiators ideally also identify the underlying interests of the parties—meaning, the psychological reasoning behind these positions, concerned less with what an individual wants, and instead why they want it. A salient piece of advice I received from attorney Heidi Lewis was to “have as much information as possible before going in to…anything.” Naturally, this allows an individual to be more effective as a lawyer and counsel in all facets of a matter.

Being able to understand and acknowledge the underlying interests driving the parties to hold such positions allows for greater creativity, and naturally better solutions. Despite common beliefs and stereotypes about those who practice law, there is significant creativity required to empower two disputants to reach a settled agreement. This is particularly relevant in the bargaining phase of negotiating. Van acknowledges this fact, and explained the importance of only scheduling relevant teleconferences for certain times in the day, because “you’ve always got to allow some energy for creativity.” I was impressed as problem after problem was resolved.

The Closing Call

Sitting in on a closing call highlighted the reason I was drawn to practice law in the first place. Hearing the relief and satisfaction of a client exemplifies the rewarding side of the profession. In closing myself, I would like to extend my gratitude to the team at Smith Strong, PLC and particularly Van, for allowing me to learn from them, and ensuring once again that I was well looked after and thoroughly enjoyed my time in Richmond. I look forward to seeing Smith Strong, PLC grow and change over the coming months and years as I work towards completing my degree--and who knows, perhaps I’ll return again one day.

P.S. Thank you to Attorney David Mitchell for your patience with this helpful tidbit—when adding consecutive exhibits in a binder, you do not need to unclip and reclip the binder rings each time. It’s the small things!

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/law-student-reflects-on-smith-strong-plc.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-174257Fri, 28 Jul 2017 11:56:00 ESTIf you have reason to believe that your spouse is engaging in an extramarital affair, you’re probably considering filing for a fault-based divorce on the grounds of adultery. While doing so may seem like the most beneficial course of action, there are several factors that should be considered. The requirement of clear, convincing and corroborated evidence and the inherent difficulty in obtaining this evidence means that successfully proving adultery in a court of law is notoriously difficult. Founding attorney Van Smith proved the grounds of adultery for a divorce client in Chesterfield Circuit Court in July 2017, utilizing witnesses and recovered digital evidence from social media.

Pursuant to Virginia Code §20-91, adultery is a fault-based ground for divorce. The crime of adultery is defined in Virginia Code §18.2-365 as:

“a married person voluntarily engaging in sexual intercourse with a person not his or her spouse.”

Additionally, with a fault-based divorce grounded in adultery, you may file immediately as opposed to the 12-month separation requirement of a no-fault divorce. A successful claim of adultery will have ramifications on the financial elements of a divorce, particularly the issue of spousal support. Additionally, adultery may provide leverage in settlement negotiations when your spouse’s alternative is having their indiscretions showcased in open court.

Proof of Adultery

Adultery does not have to be proven beyond all doubt; however, as established in the case of Coe v. Coe, the Court requires “clear and convincing” evidence “based upon proven facts and reasonable inferences drawn from these facts.” This is a higher standard of proof than what is required for other grounds of divorce, presenting a challenge for spouses and litigators alike. Due to the inherently secretive nature of adulterous behavior, strong linking evidence may be difficult to obtain, even if you have been informed of the unfaithful behavior by a close friend or relative. For this reason, private investigators are sometimes called upon in these instances. The law requires evidence to be corroborated by, at a minimum, circumstantial evidence.

What Evidence May be Sufficient?

Ultimately, whether or not the court will find your evidence sufficient is dependent upon how credible the judge finds your evidence. This includes any witnesses, and how precisely the time, place, and circumstances of the alleged adulterous behavior can be established. Circumstantial evidence may include unexplained disappearances in the evenings, perceived romantic meals, or staying alone in an apartment with another. The reality is, however, that these may all be met with a valid and innocent explanation. The court may take a ‘common sense approach’, refusing to accept a bizarre explanation or bizarre denial, but rather, evaluating the circumstances using their discretion. Although insufficient, unexplained conduct of a certain nature provides further evidence that there was an adulterous relationship. Naturally, any statement of admission by your spouse either in text message or email explicitly outlining their behavior would be damaging. However, even what seems to be direct admission by your spouse will require corroborating evidence.

The Fifth Amendment

As noted above, adultery is a class four misdemeanor under the Virginia Code. This presents a further challenge, as an accused spouse may exercise their Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination, thereby refusing to answer questions about the adulterous behavior. However, a lack of credible explanation or lack of contradictory evidence from a spouse may then be relevant.

The Dangers of ‘Consequence-free’ Sexting

The digital age we live in today means there are more ways than ever to communicate with one another. The promise of ‘consequence-free’ sexting is attractive to many who believe their indiscretions will go unnoticed. Popular mobile applications such as Snapchat, where images are supposedly deleted after a few seconds mean they are often the platform of choice for such activities and resultantly, the source of critical evidence if obtained. In one matter our firm handled under attorney Van Smith, images and videos of a sexual nature were found hidden deep in a family hard drive, the time/date stamps identifying the files and providing persuasive corroborating evidence. Ultimately, two of the three individuals subpoenaed to appear and provide testimony in court admitted to having sexual relations with the spouse in question, corroborating the digital evidence already found

Finally, if you are considering filing for divorce based on adultery, note that “condonation” represents an available defense for your spouse. Essentially, if it is established that you ‘condoned’ or ‘forgave’ the deviant behavior, (which may be shown through the voluntary resuming of sexual relations and cohabitation after the fact), the court will not grant you a fault-based divorce on the ground of adultery. However, any post-condonation adulterous behavior will mitigate this defense.

If you would like additional information, or are considering filing for divorce, please contact the law offices of Smith Strong, PLC on 804.325.1245 to discuss your legal matter further.

Resources

Coe v. Coe 225 VA 616 (1983)

Dodge v. Dodge, 2 Va. App 238 1986

Gamer v. Gamer 16 Va. App 335, 429 S.E.2d 618

Pommerenke v. Pommerenke 372 S.E.2d 630 VA (1988)

Watts v. Watts 40 Va. App. 685, 581 S.E.2d 224 (2003)

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/adultery-in-virginia.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-174256Thu, 27 Jul 2017 11:43:00 ESTMy first day as a summer law clerk at Smith Strong was a welcoming experience. I was greeted with such enthusiasm and kindness that I became excited to begin working and learning the methods behind such a successful firm. My first two weeks involved learning from, shadowing, and being trained by some of the team members. This provided me the opportunity to see how each part of a family law firm works. As a 1L, I had learned the basic court proceedings and rules that must be followed in civil procedure, but did not know in detail how procedures within a family law firm work. I knew the textbook definition of pleadings, exhibits, and discovery, but I had never seen these processes in action. Through my summer experience at Smith Strong, I had the opportunity to work, hands on, with discovery, and witnessed the long process in which the firm has to develop questions, request documents from the opposing party, wait for responses, and then craft well-formed arguments using all material gathered.

Thoughts on the Practice of Family Law at Smith Strong

I had the opportunity to attend court with Van on multiple occasions. This was not my first experience in a court room, nor will it be my last. However, it was my first time seeing two former lovers filled with hate and bitterness towards each other. My initial thoughts were, “How could two people who once shared a house and family together not even speak to each other in the courtroom?” I didn’t understand how two people who were once in love could be arguing in the courtroom. This seemed to be cold and bitter behavior, but it is an unfortunate reality of the world we live in. People fall in love, have children, grow as a family, and then, sometimes, divorce. It is the job of family law attorneys to be there for their clients throughout this difficult process and advocate for their interests. Van and the other attorneys at Smith Strong do this through their compassion, knowledge, and strong work ethic.

One thing that surprised me was the emotional element in the practice of family law. So many of the issues dealt with on a daily basis are somber, troubling, and usually depict the type of love stories not seen in Disney movies – the type of stories that end in heartbreak, abandonment, or abuse. The way in which the staff at Smith Strong was comforting and welcoming to these clients going through difficult situations was positive and eye-opening. Van was always willing to lend a listening ear to his clients, and would allow appointments to run long just so he could finish a conversation, always providing the kind of comfort, support, and assurance only an attorney can provide. Van has a way of making all of his clients feel good about themselves. It’s as if they come to Smith Strong for both legal advice, a listening ear, and a pep talk.

The attorneys at Smith Strong all have a thorough understanding of each client’s case. The firm holds tri-weekly meetings in which they sit down and review each case, alphabetically. This process helps ensure that a client’s case is always being worked on and never put on the backburner. It also provides the opportunity for feedback and ideas from each attorney in the office, not just the attorney working on the case at hand. Although the attorneys are all intelligent and knowledgeable in what they do, it is still helpful to bring in fresh ideas and different perspectives.

A Changed Perspective on the Legal Profession

One thing that inspires me about Smith Strong is the fact that, while some of the attorneys are just beginning their careers, they have already achieved a high level of competence and thoroughly understand the field of family law. They are able to negotiate successful outcomes inside and outside the courtroom for a large majority of their clients. As a young law student, I aspire to gain the knowledge, skills, and ability to provide the kind of top-notch legal services found at Smith Strong.

One thing I fear going into the legal profession is the long hours at work each day and the constant contact and communication with opposing counsel through the world of smartphones and email. Another concern is not being able to strike a healthy balance between work and fun. At Smith Strong, the employees incorporate fun into their daily work lives. Whether it’s an office outing to lunch for a birthday, a 5K, a Squirrels game, or even simply taking a ten minute break to paint their fingernails with each other, the staff at Smith Strong incorporates fun into their workday to maintain their positive morale.

I have truly enjoyed my summer at Smith Strong. I will miss coming to work and seeing the smiling faces of each team member, now considered friends and colleagues. My perspective on family law has expanded--I am now fully aware of the work, effort, and thought process behind the successful representation I have witnessed by Van and his team. There is much strategic preparation and detailed planning that creates an effective attorney-client relationship. My summer position has given me a hands-on experience in family law, while implementing the knowledge and skills gained in my 1L classes.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/reflections-of-our-2017-law-clerk.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-174252Wed, 26 Jul 2017 11:26:00 ESTSome days it is as if the TV awards show judges are all holding up “10.0” paddles, their buzzers pressed, their chairs spinning towards you in affirmation.

Still other days, the music stops, the applause now distant, and we are left alone with our thoughts. Usually these days come after loss, crisis, or disappointment.

The “bad days” can be useful exercises, though.

I find in those moments, I pray more. I appreciate nature, and well-tended gardens with heightened awareness of my own small-ness. And I read a few poems to calm the nerves.

On reflection this is a pretty good prescription for tough times—gardening, poetry, and belief.

Consider picking up a copy of Garrison Keillor’s, Good Poems for Hard Times. He’s selected a nice cadre of poems for just such an occasion. Also, his introduction alone is worth the purchase. He advocates that poetry is a trusted source in difficult moments, as poetry is, at root, a garden patch tended by “honest peasants.” This in contrast to, as he frames it, the “expense-account” special interests—corporate and political—that offers their own agenda rather than real solace after tragedy.

He writes, “At times life becomes almost impossible, and you curl up under a blanket in a dim room behind drawn shades and you despise your life, which seems mean and purposeless, a hoax and a cheat, your shining chances all wasted, pissed away, nobody can change this or make this better, love is lost, hope gone, nothing left but to pour a glass of gin and listen to weepy music. But it can help to say words. Moaning helps. So does prayer. God hears prayer and restores the souls of the faithful. Walking helps. Many people have pulled themselves up out of the pit by the simple expedient of rising to their feet, leaning slightly forward, and putting one foot ahead of the other. Poems help . . . . American poetry is the truest journalism we have. What your life can be, lived bravely and independently, you can discover in poetry.”

Keep Calm, Carry On, and perhaps walk through a garden, say a prayer, and if time allows, read a few good poems. Let the mind wander. Remain hopeful.

PS: At the end of the Keillor’s Good Poems book, he writes a little blurb about each poet featured. One, to me, especially stood out:

William BLAKE (1757-1827, London) was nine years old when he saw a tree full of angels, and in his adult life he often said that spirits would visit his studio to sit for portraits. He married Catherine Boucher, an illiterate woman, at the age of 25, and taught her to read, write, and help him in his printing work. The two collaborated on his most famous works, his hand-illustrated poetry books Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience. A friend once dropped by to find them sitting in their garden, naked, reciting passages from Paradise Lost. “Come in!” cried Blake. “It’s only Adam and Eve, you know!” He died poor and unknown in London, coloring copies of his books while resting in bed. He was buried in an unmarked grave. The man who never in his mind and thoughts travel’d to heaven is no artist.

As a prospective law student from Brisbane, Australia, I came to my internship at Smith Strong, PLC in Virginia ready to learn, and make the most of my two weeks shadowing attorney Van Smith.

As I now reflect on my short stay at the firm, I feel as though I have gained knowledge far beyond understanding the physical practice of law. That is, I have learnt about the nuances of ‘practicing’ law.

From my observation, this can be broken into three key areas; the management/internal control aspects of running a law firm, the psychological aspects underlying family law in particular, and the leadership qualities required to be a success not only in a small business setting, but in life.

The First Day: My Introduction to the Productivity Machine—Smith Strong, PLC

My education started before I’d even had a chance to step inside the offices of Smith Strong, PLC. Van was kind enough to drive me to and from work each day, these drives becoming a chance for me to ask questions and get the most out of the limited time I had. As we drove to work on that first brisk morning, Van began explaining how he operates, and what to expect. I came to discover that it is the small procedural details that have allowed Van to create what he calls the “productivity machine” that is Smith Strong, PLC.

The weekly Monday morning huddle allowed the whole team to discuss briefly the current status of each case, field any questions, and assign tasks for the week ahead. The documents associated with these tasks were then immediately ‘yellow sticky noted’ (on the top right hand corner of the page) with specific instructions. I was impressed simply by the ability of the attorneys to process new information and taken aback by the fact that all paralegals seemed to have an extensive knowledge of each case.

Hyper Focus on Managing by Organized, Calendared Tasks

As the days passed, I also learnt that the attorneys at Smith Strong, PLC do not take any unscheduled, inbound phone calls to minimize time wasted, thus allowing them to focus on completing productive, billable hours. Further to this, I noticed that Van would always schedule a follow up call if required before hanging up, “to maintain momentum,” and have it entered into the calendar – this date then acting as a deadline for both parties to complete relevant tasks.

What I was in fact witnessing was the “compounding success of early capital decisions,” as Van phrased it, to establish efficient and integrated internal control systems. As I prepare to embark on the challenge of law school in Australia, I have been pondering ways to transfer these time management skills to maximize my own productivity.

Family Law: Delicate Balance Between Law and Therapy

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how efficient these systems are unless you can then convert it to success. Having previously never encountered family law, I was unsure exactly what to expect. As the days ticked over, I found that tears and encountering clients with delicate mental states became a regular occurrence in a day in the life of a family lawyer.

I found this quite confronting at first, and it took an emotional toll.

I was continually amazed by Van’s emotional intelligence, patience, and ability to reach a fair result for all involved on numerous cases. Naturally, with more experience comes a greater understanding of the forces at play and inevitably, ‘thicker skin.’

Whilst lawyers are often required to be part counselor, and part therapist, “the key to negotiation,” Van noted, “is to care, but not too much.”

This quote from Van has stuck with me as a reminder to not get so caught up in emotions that you lose sight of the task at hand.

Understanding the Psychological Forces at Work in Every Negotiation

When I asked Van to further explain this idea of the underlying principles of law and negotiation, he explained that at a basic level, “people tend to be motivated by one of two psychological forces—victimization, or empowerment.”

Therefore, the key to success in this context is to understand what makes people tick, and then using this knowledge to reach an outcome. On more than one occasion Van would predict how the parties would respond to an offer, leaving me to watch in awe as proceedings unfolded exactly as planned.

Understanding this is important even before the client retains, and Van attributes his high closing rate to getting personal with potential new clients. What I didn’t realize was how planned each minor action of his was, from even something as simple as seating positions at the table of that first meeting, that allow for the client to feel more comfortable, to Van mimicking their posture and even as the meeting progresses, their breathing.

Again, whilst I may be a few years off utilizing these learning’s in the legal profession, I will definitely be looking to take advantage of this newfound knowledge in my everyday life.

Leadership: Pulling a Shared Load

With a keen eye for politics, and more generally leadership, many of our conversations revolved around the topic of what makes a good leader, not only as a political figure, but also as an entrepreneur/managing director.

Firstly it is important to distinguish between a ‘boss’ and a ‘leader.’ As Van explained to me, the schematic of a boss is someone who is riding the chariot, whipping the employees pulling below.

A leader, on the other hand, is in the front pulling the load with his/her employees.

Van notes that “this is something you can’t fake, they (employees) have to see and feel it.”

Further to this point, it’s important to demonstrate a sincere compassion for employees, which in turn influences how they will treat other coworkers and “that compounds throughout the community you’re building.”

I feel as though the word ‘community’ epitomizes the environment of Smith Strong, PLC.

Vision: An Entrepreneurial Future?

This is a credit to Van and I hope that I am able to emulate his success, perhaps one day practicing under ‘Candy & Associates—Barristers.’

As I now continue on my journey around the world, this January 2016 internship has reaffirmed my decision to study law and I would like to extend a thanks to everyone at Smith Strong, PLC for making this experience so valuable… yes even you Morgan Sears [paralegal], I’ll do my best to forget your driving back from lunch!

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/intern-describes-attorney-van-smith.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-156213Thu, 14 Jan 2016 11:10:00 ESTAfter years of being notorious for putting off marriage and waiting to have children, the Millennial generation is finally finding its way to both matrimony and parenthood. “Millennials” – those born between 1980 and 2000 - now comprise the largest and most diverse generation in U.S. history. The Millennial generation has been stereotyped as opposed to marriage and equally against having children. But demographic trends suggest that this generation is finding stability on several fronts, including receiving college education and settling down in marital relationships that eventually will produce children.

Changing Trends

As the millennial generation has aged to include people in their 20s and early 30s, the group is now close to a demographic tipping point. The rates of childbirth within wedlock—a factor associated with a stable family—are predicted to rise in the near future. According to a recent study from Demographic Intelligence, the new trend among Millennial parents will be toward marital relationships, with a majority of children being born inside marriages. Demographic Intelligence predicts that before the biological clock of this generation runs its course over the next decade, up to 77% of the children of Millennials will be born to married parents – a figure significantly up from the 45% of children born within wedlock today. By the end of this year, as many as 59% of children born to Millennials will have married parents.

An unprecedented percentage of births to Millennials can be expected to come from college-educated parents. A recent Pew Research Center report noted that Millennials are on track to become “the most educated generation in American history.”

Getting to the Altar… Eventually

According to Kim Parker, the director of social trends at Pew Research Center, most young adults still want to marry eventually, and most will. But data suggests that Millennials are more accepting of cohabitation without marriage and are more open to the idea of children being raised outside of a marriage. Nonetheless, Pew’s research suggests that only about 25% of those between ages 25 and 34 will stay unmarried. Even though this percentage is higher than previous generations, it still shows that the majority of Millennials will eventually tie the knot.

Tolerance Patterns Among Millennials

Trending toward marriage and family relationships among Millennials would appear to be a logical outgrowth of the generation’s general attitudes and tolerance patterns. A Pew study entitled “Millennials: Generation Next” revealed Millennials to be more tolerant than adults in other generations of a wide range of non-traditional behaviors and more accepting of various modern family arrangements, such as raising children outside marriage. Interestingly, however, the Pew Research Center discovered that these tolerances do not appear to translate into a view among Millennials that such arrangements are “good for society.” Ultimately, it can be expected that the expanded tolerances of this generation may not translate into non-traditional lifestyle choices. Marriages, children born to wedded parents, and nuclear families will continue to define the norm for at least a sizeable portion of the Millennial generation that is currently dominating and defining American social norms.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/family-trends-among-millenials.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-154453Mon, 09 Nov 2015 13:17:00 ESTI began Smith Strong, PLC with an IPhone and a laptop in February 2012. Designing my own website late into the evening, outlining the logo and slogan in my head on long walks, Legal Strength, more to steel my own resolve at the time than attract clients.

I had a banker’s box that I would take to REGUS executive office suites with client files (none in February 2012, 0), and would meet clients in a conference room that I rented by the hour.

Within a few months I was lugging 2-3 boxes each day to the office, hiding in the business lounge to get work done. The manager of the office suite said, “Have you considered renting an office?”

So in late Spring 2012, I began leasing the smallest office in the building, 8x7 feet, with no windows.

We grew quickly. One day, back from my fourth appointment in a row to find 14 missed call slips from the front desk receptionist. “Huh, I guess I need to hire an assistant.” So the assistant was hired, and she was in one corner of the same office, and I was in the other corner of the office—still the smallest office in the building, no windows, now shared. If she reached out to stretch, she would hit my chair.

Now, in 2015, the count is up to six offices in the REGUS executive suite company, most shared. Ten people are coming to work each day at Smith Strong, and Katie and Deborah work from home, bringing the total to 12.

In August 2015 my wife and I purchased through an LLC named Farah & George Properties (after our two children), 5803 Staples Mill Rd, Richmond, Virginia.

We’ll be “fixing it up” all Fall 2015, moving in January 2016. The building is located just west on Staples Mill from the new Libbie Mill development, so, near the Willow Lawn/Midtown area of Richmond. Some of you may have visited the Southern Season store nearby. It’s one exit east on I-64 from our current location at 6802 Paragon Place. We’re halfway between downtown Richmond and Short Pump in the West End, right off the Interstate 64/Staples Mill exit.

My Dad assumed the lead on clearing out brush, pruning bushes, and overseeing the cosmetic renovations. The Environmental Law Group remains there through the end of the Fall. They purchased it from the Virginia Funeral Directors, who apparently had at one point a pretty epic Mad Men bar on the second floor (Who knew? Funeral Directors as Don Draper.)

Our current location at Paragon is very impressive, and the new building will not match its grandeur, but I hope it will provide the privacy, discretion, and comfort our clients have come to expect from Smith Strong. If they feel a little more “at home” then we’ve been successful in the move.

We’ll send formal notice to each of you when the move is complete—so don’t fret about the new address or where to send the mail just yet.

I still share an office; so, this new building will be the first time with my “own” office.

I’m reminded that Warren Buffett worked from a small room just off from his bedroom for the first six years of his company, Berkshire Hathaway, eschewing, I believe even an assistant during that time as well.

There are 30 parking spaces immediately behind the building. Parking and walking “right in” to the new building will actually seem a little easier than the current corporate office park setting. As the sole tenant, we will make sure clients have dibs on the spots just steps from the entrance for added convenience.

We’re excited to be part of the resurgence of the Willow Lawn/Midtown corridor. And located just a half-mile from I-64/Staples Mill, means clients from Chesterfield, Henrico, Richmond, Hanover, Goochland and New Kent will be able to access us with ease.

2016 will be an exciting transition; we’ll make sure to throw an open house once we spruce up the place.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/so-i-bought-a-zoo-office-building-.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-153153Wed, 23 Sep 2015 11:30:00 ESTThoughts on the Closure of Sweet Briar College & The Need, at Times, for Transformative Leadership

When there is a need.

And that need remains.

And the thing meeting that need fails.

That thing failed because of poor leadership—and poor pickers of leadership.

It is the burden and responsibility of leadership, therefore, to sustain the thing through eras of disruption.

Therefore the pickers of leadership, whether a board or voter, must recognize the season they are in and carefully select the leader needed for the times.

Though Sweet Briar College ended up being reopened, there was a clear crisis of leadership which led to the recent almost-closure of the institution.

At Sweet Briar there were two failures: (1) leadership that did not aggressively transform the thing that met the need and (2) pickers of leadership that did not recognize the times required transformative leadership.

In 2012, Sweet Briar spent $47M on office expenses, only down approximately $3M from 2008.

The orchestra played sweetly as the Titanic slipped ever deeper into the waters, until suddenly, all was silent.

Compare Sweet Briar to Hillsdale College

On June 12, 2015, the Wall Street Journal compared Sweet Briar with Hillsdale College. The WSJ responded to Sweet Briar President’s comment that the college was “30 minutes from a Starbucks” as an unacceptable partial excuse for its closure, as Hillsdale—which grew as Sweet Briar contracted—was 40 minutes from a Starbucks.

Hillsdale also grew while refusing to accept federal loan dollars for its students.

Hillsdale projected its uniqueness to its three million monthly e-magazine subscribers, with a unique voice and a member-like feel of on-campus and on-line events. These subscribers were therefore groomed to be the school’s champions of its classical education model. These champions and its leadership grew the school from 1100 to 1500 students over the past 5 years, while Sweet Briar dwindled down to 800.

A Quick Peak at High Point University

High Point University has grown 197% (yes, One Hundred and Ninety Seven Percent) since 2005, to 4300 current students. Its faculty ranks have also grown by 152% during this same period.

In 2005, High Point had 22 buildings on campus now in 2015 it has 179.

What happened?

It hired the right transformative leader who implemented radical change, while improving the student and faculty experience [Read: Change does not mean faculty having to necessarily do more with less—that’s a failure of creativity.]

Leading High Point, foreign-born Dr. Nido Qubein, became President in 2005. Note that this is the same year where clearly change began to occur within High Point. He began with a blitzkrieg fundraising effort of $20M in 29 days—meeting the goal, and immediately creating a before and after effect on his tenure, where the expectation became success, not the attempt but real, measurable success.

In an era of disruption, entrepreneurial leaders can steer even sleepy, Southern liberal arts educational institutions through rocky shoals.

In a biopic on President Qubein, one student noted, “Our students want to do great things, because we are surrounded by great things.”

To borrow from the title of a book that influenced me on this topic, leaders take the thing from Good to Great.

PS: All great collegiate leadership is not growth-focused. Sometimes the greater challenge can be to sustain and maintain an already great thing. Take William & Mary, President Reveley is doing a marvelous job of sustaining that campus, and improving it.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/thoughts-of-the-almost-closure-of-sweet-briar-college.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-150707Wed, 15 Jul 2015 12:09:00 ESTWhitney grew up in Hopewell, Virginia and now lives in Richmond’s West End with her family. She is a phenomenal mortgage loan officer. Perhaps you’re thinking—well I’m not buying a home Van—but you may want to consider refinancing your home loan to lower your current rate (speak with her, then your financial advisor or visa versa).

I sat down with Whitney and asked her 8 questions as a rising star in Richmond’s business community.

1) Your twitter feed lists you as: wife, mom, loan officer, Wahoo, former English teacher, Masterpiece Theater addict, tennis player, Richmonder. Let's talk about "former" English teacher--how'd you make the leap from teacher to loan officer? The first transition I made was from English teacher to Director of Admission at a small private school in Midlothian. When my colleague’s husband took notice of the things I was doing to market the school and increase enrollment, he approached me about a possible career switch. After a year of contemplating a move, I decided to give it a try, and I never looked back. My mom was a Realtor when I was growing up, and I have always found real estate fascinating so mortgage was a good fit.

2) OK, now we can talk about Masterpiece Theater--is this just code for Downton Abbey, or is the addiction even more serious? A bandwagon fan I am not. I was a Masterpiece Theater fan years before Downton Abbey became popular. I’m a sucker for a good period piece—I think I’ve watched every Masterpiece Theater production in the last 10 years—from Jane Austen movies to Cranford; Upstairs, Downstairs; and Call the Midwife. I do not, however, care for Masterpiece Mystery.

3) You blog, right? What's the link and what's your goal for the blog? I have been blogging since January 2012. My blog, Loan Officer Lately, can be found at www.RVAloanofficer.com. I write about mortgage news and trouble-shooting common and non-so-common mortgage scenarios. The articles are helpful to send my clients from time to time when they run into similar scenarios—and, it saves me time as I’ve already put my research in one place and I don’t have to re-invent the wheel each time a similar scenario arises. People all over the country write me for help when they run into issues in underwriting and their loan officer isn’t helping them.

4) I noted that loan officer allows more flexibility than teacher--I think people may be surprised by that--how does that work? As a loan officer, I set my own hours. I often find myself meeting with clients after 5 p.m. or working on weekends, so I flex my time during the week accordingly. If I know I have meetings from 5 p.m.-7 p.m. on a Wednesday night, I may stay home with my daughter until 10 or 11 a.m. As a teacher, you cannot flex your hours—and, bathroom breaks are difficult to come by!

5) So, we've both been to Dubrovnik, Croatia, which I couldn't believe. Describe this epic cruise--any particular port of call that you have at the top of your list for a return visit? My girlfriend and I decided to take a 12 day Mediterranean cruise before we had children—we visited Barcelona, Nice, Rome, Florence, Venice, Dubrovnik, Athens, and Santorini. Every port was amazing, but, if I had to choose, I would love to spend a full week in Santorini. The small town of Oia (think Mamma Mia or Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) was so breathtakingly beautiful and the food and people were amazing.

6) Are there still visible barriers for women in the financial sector--or are there still roadblocks to professional advancement? My profession operates on a commission model, so I don’t see it here—for loan officers it comes down to building referral partners, work ethic, and ability to close loans while keeping client happy (thanks to heavy mortgage regulation, this is no easy task). I do pass up a fair amount of evening networking events in order to be home at night and put my daughter to bed. I may be passing up the opportunity to build referral partners at these, but it’s a trade-off I’m happy to make.

7) Financial folks typically get a window into people's private financial lives--what's some advice you'd like to pass on to folks to improve their financial wellbeing? Just because you can finance it does not mean you can afford it.

8) Parting thoughts on mortgages or life? I found this quote on Pinterest today: “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” -Beverly Sills

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/whitney-watson-loan-officer-mom-world-traveler.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-150667Tue, 14 Jul 2015 15:44:00 ESTKatie and I moved into the near West End of Richmond in late December of 2014. Word began to spread hither and yon that the Smiths no longer had to stamp their passport at the tollbooth to get into Richmond from Chesterfield anymore. Food began trickling in. Monogrammed items arrived by discreet drones on our doorstep. And then this, that heartwarming, you know Iran may have the bomb, but darn it, this soup is so good maybe it won’t really matter type of comfort. Simple pleasure. Kind. Neighborly. Sits well. Nothing fancy, but somehow 2 bowls never seems to be enough. Enjoy. And welcome your new arrivals to the neighborhood with this memorable soup. (You do welcome your neighbors when they move in, right? With this soup, they won’t forget you.)

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 cans of Rotel tomatoes

6 tomatillos, chopped

1 medium jalapeno, seeded, minced

2 cups chicken stock

1 (7oz.) can chopped green chiles

2 cups chopped cooked chicken

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1/2 teaspoon cumin

1/4 cup (heaping) chopped cilantro

2 (19oz.) cans cannellini beans

1 tablespoon fresh lime juice

salt and pepper to taste

sour cream

shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Directions:

Heat olive oil in a large stockpot over medium-high heat. Add onion. Saute for 3-5 minutes or until softened. Add the garlic. Cook for 1-2 minutes longer; do not brown.

Add the tomatoes, tomatillos and jalapeno. Cook until the tomatillos are tender, stirring occasionally.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/delectable-winter-soup-awaits.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-150666Tue, 14 Jul 2015 15:36:00 ESTI’ve been thinking a lot about Joan Rivers lately. After her untimely death, I watched a Joan Rivers documentary on Netflix out of nostalgia. I loved her spirit, sense of humor, and dogged work ethic.

Joan allowed cameras to follow her around, and record her private moments. It was fascinating, and felt brutally honest. There was a moment during the documentary, where we see her fuming, in a torrent of anger as her daughter, Melissa, was voted off The Apprentice, while Joan remained, and ultimately, won that season. Her daughter was in tears, and Joan said something to her in that moment that stuck with me.

I paraphrase, but recall, “You don’t understand Melissa! You don’t need this! I do! It’s a curse, but you don’t—you’re free!” Joan went on to describe that her life on the stage and off was out of some guttural need that boiled up and couldn’t be ignored. Melissa, for lack of a better phrase, was normal she could live without this needed geyser of call and response—putting her safely back from the edge of a daily need for acceptance and sense of near defeat—the rush. Joan, on the other hand, was doomed, by her habits, lifestyle, and deep, psychological need for the give and take with the audience to go on, until the life was literally gone from her. She came alive when performing; to stop would literally have killed her.

It’s the same with many of the best in each field, they’re driven, demon-crazy in a way, towards and then far beyond success, for reasons that exceed our limited view of what’s guiding them.

People mistake this for a seething, forced march towards material wealth, but I believe it goes to this place beyond that—far more life and death, far more psychological, deep, from childhood that can’t ever be filled, without intervention. As Joan said, this level of celebrity, success, is a curse.

“How much is enough?”

We might ask them if they were our friends. Don’t you have enough Joan? But there she was, leaving her palatial penthouse in New York to catch the redeye to Peoria for a show at a steakhouse with an auditorium before a Middle America audience—she needed it, her fix. We might ask her, but Joan, how much is enough?

It’s the wrong question for this type of person. “Be still, you are loved and cared for, its been arranged, you have all that you will need and far more, you’re proven and accepted, you can rest,” would perhaps be the approach I would use.

But it would likely be of no use—Joan wouldn’t have believed me, wouldn’t trust meor the concept of enough, suggesting the internal drive simply didn’t have a downshifting gear built in.

What is enough? What is happiness? How much do you need? How do you feel most loved? What do you need from this life and from those you’re in relationships with? What’s driving you?

There is so much about psychology and people we don’t know, can’t understand, can’t divine—we must just love those that come into our path and let go of those who can’t be tamed in this life.

I came across this in a trip earlier this year to William Faulkner’s home, Rowan Oaks, and in so much of the town, Oxford, Mississippi, devoted to his memory.

Taking the last tour of the day, the shadows of the branches grew high on the plastered, bone-colored walls, leading down the hall to his back room, the study, there on the left. A small twin bed for rest, then, an oak desk in the other corner that his mother gave him that he would lift and carry to the yard to write on when it suited him. The plot for his last book could be seen wax-paper-pencil-written onto the actual walls. Exorcised thoughts, listed out, so he could finally rest.

The pulsing quote of Faulkners’ came beating up, reminding me of Joan Rivers—“An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they chose him and is usually too busy to wonder why.” And then there is this one, Faulkner said at a later time, “I think if he’s demon-driven with something to be said, then he’s going to write it. He can blame the fact that he’s not turning out work on lots of things. I’ve heard people say, “Well, if I were not married and had children, I would be a writer.” I’ve heard people say, “If I could just stop doing this, I would be a writer.” I don’t believe that. I think if you’re going to write you’re going to write, and nothing will stop you.”

Sometimes, if it isn’t written, that too can be a gift, a release to live an external life in the service of others. Those that must write or perform, we should appreciate, but not aspire to be them—the pressure and rush of just normal, daily living break so many as it is. Perhaps less drive is a life with fewer demons?

There is a cure for this relentless push. In the recently released movie “Unbroken” we see a man competing in the Olympics, shot down over enemy waters, taken prisoner, savagely beaten, and triumphantly returning home from WWII.

He’s banged and bruised. He’s angry. He drinks and smokes a lot. He’s mean and physically abusive towards his young wife. He’s an absentee father. The caged, abused performer without the rush. Like Faulkner between novels.

What can put to rest those demon-drivers, the anger, the unanswered, pulsing questions?

Not inserted into the movie, but true, is at this point in the Unbroken story he attends a Billy Graham revival in 1949 in Los Angeles. Cool waters emerge and coat him. This drive is channeled into understanding and acceptance of the world and his place—both small and infinite.

His conversion gave him deep spiritual peace, quietly enabling him to forgive his brutal captors, return and love his wife, appreciate the air and sky free of substance abuse—less performance art and more service to others.

Not perfect, never perfect, but peaceful.

P.S.: This should not be listed as an excuse to dream small dreams, achieve less, or watch more TV. Here’s a test: Is the thing that’s being pushed out of you, the dream, the art, the business—what purpose is it serving? Is it for you or beyond you? What’s your Why? The Why, if big enough, if beyond self enough, may be worthy of the sacrifice. You’ll know if you’re getting close by the monuments left behind—contentment of spirit, grateful children, or the compounding interest of improved lives of those around you.

P.P.S.: I miss Joan Rivers, and William Faulkner. In the case of Faulkner, imagine a postal clerk, in the depressed, deep South, creating, in his head, a fictional county in which to work through a series of conflicting emotions about family, defeat, gender, hierarchy, power, and hardship. Then imagine these books going all the way. Into the hands of the world’s intellectuals who then give him their best prizes. Then imagine the President inviting him to dinner at the White House (and not just any President, but a fun one—Kennedy), remember, the postal clerk with a drinking problem. And then imagine his response from Charlottesville, "Why that's a hundred miles away. That's a long way to go just to eat." His assessment of Virginians also stands out, "I like Virginians because Virginians are all snobs and I like snobs. A snob has to spend so much time being a snob that he has little time left to meddle with you.”

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/thoughts-musings-on-the-rush-imperfect-peace.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-143565Tue, 27 Jan 2015 15:11:00 ESTAttorney Van Smith: I want to encourage some of you out there to consider the entrepreneurial path. Below is a story of a mother of two who enjoys time with her children, while growing a business that fits her lifestyle. Be encouraged, and inspired. I asked the following questions to get the conversation going.

1. So describe your current situation. How many children do you have? Are you married? And where you are currently residing.

I live in Williamsburg with my husband, who is active duty in the Navy, our two kids, and two dogs.

2. And so when you're not with your family what keeps you busy professionally these days?

I’m a Realtor with Liz Moore & Associates. I love what I do! Most of the time it barely even feels like work but it certainly keeps me busy.

3. Was it difficult getting started as a realtor in the midst of a recession and in a town that was relatively new to you?

(I’ve been a part time resident of Williamsburg since 1993 and I’ve generally been in the area since 2001 though we just moved back to Williamsburg from Norfolk a few years ago.)

It certainly wasn’t easy starting up a real estate business just as the news was reporting home prices had reached new lows but I was determined! I picked a great brokerage and I worked basically all the time until I had a descent book of business. The market wasn’t great but it stabilized shortly after I entered the business and we’ve been seeing increasing activity and slightly increasing prices since then. I believe there are people interested in discretionary moves and are holding back until their current home values come it a bit more but we’re still very busy with necessary moves (from job relocations, needing more space, downsizing, divorce, etc. ) as well as some discretionary moves

4. What questions does your ideal client ask as they are entering and looking at a home for the first time?

My ideal client will ask about whatever is most important to them! What I am really looking for is honest feedback (tell me what you didn’t like and what you did – I promise I’ll never get offended!) That feedback is invaluable when I’m looking to find the perfect home for a client.

5. How would you describe the Williamsburg community now as far as its cultural demographic? I would say for many people they think of Williamsburg as a retirement destination but I've noticed with my clients that many of them are transplants from somewhere else whether it's New York or Michigan or Ohio or even North Carolina. What are your thoughts on the shifting demographics of Williamsburg in the last five to ten years?

Some people assume that Williamsburg is a retirement community and I’m not sure how that came to be other than the fact that we’re consistently listed as a great place to retire, which I think is simply because we are a wonderful place for anyone to live! We do have a good number of empty nesters and retirees and that population continues to grow – both from Virginia and out of the area (including my home state of New York). But we also have a growing population of families. We fill nine elementary, three (soon to be four) middle schools, and three high schools just in Williamsbug/James City County – all providing top notch educations. We’re much more diverse as a community than many non-residents seem to believe.

Overall, we’re very lucky to live in such a quaint, quiet town that is also home to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown Settlement, Busch Gardens and Water Country, amazing restaurants, William & Mary, numerous golf courses, stunning parks, and hosts art shows, concerts, and a weekly farmers market! I can’t imagine a better place to live!

6. As the population grows are we seeing in Williamsburg and James City County and York County a shift towards smart growth, higher density growth and more walkability and pedestrian friendly growth or is that still just spoken about in academic circles in the Tidewater area?

In Williamsburg we’ll always have people who want at least a little piece of land so I think we’ll continue to add and expand traditional subdivisions but we are starting to see a shift toward higher density/mixed use housing. New Town was our first large development using this model and we saw great interest across many different buyer demographics and I believe will continue to see expansion in this type of housing. I’m on a team that is about to release the first stage of a mixed use/walkable community in the City of Williamsburg called Quarterpath. I’m very hopeful it will be a huge success!

7. I've read recent studies that suggest that millennials and those 18 to 34 are increasingly not buying homes and preferring to rent. Are you finding that to be true and if so does this mean a greater interest amongst older folks in becoming landlords? How is that trend shaping your business and your clientele?

Millennials had a front row seat for the “housing bubble burst” and I’m sure that has generally affected the demographic. However, purchasing a home can still be an excellent investment and is the most significant way in which the average American family builds wealth. Locally, I’ve found most millennials seem to be purchasing homes as long as they have an expectation that they won’t be forced to move within the next few years. And some who do know they will be moving purchase anyway with the intent to eventually turn it into a rental once the relocate (since we don’t have too many rentals in this area).

8. So if someone wanted to get in touch with you about selling or buying a home in the Williamsburg area what's the best way to get in touch with you?

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/a-williamsburg-realtor-mother-and-william-mary-graduate-kasey-trainor-weighs-in.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-140228Thu, 06 Nov 2014 14:49:00 ESTA disturbing number of my clients, go to work, stop at Kroger for milk, go home and hunker down with Netflix. I know I’m guilty of getting caught on the hamster wheel of work-home-work-home. But, for many of my clients, it may be time to shake off the dust and have a new experience. I want you to taste and experience something ordinary, but in a new way right here in your own backyard. Here are a few places to get started.

Rostov’s Coffee & Tea, 1618 W. Main Str, Richmond, VA 23220. Go and smell the open-air coffee baskets, and order 1 lb of whatever variety smells good to you. It’s like betting on horses, just go with a name. The folks there will grind it while you wait. What to do while you’re waiting? Go to the back of Rostov’s and order a medium Vanilla Chai Tea Latte—there are other choices on the menu, but trust me, order the chai. There’s free parking in the back of the building.

Subrosa Bakery, 620 N 25th St, Richmond, VA 23223. This place is spiritual. They have a quiet diligence to their craft that’s inspiring. You walk into this European bakery, and immediately your eye goes to the giant brick oven in the back. A man with a wooden paddle spoons out croissants dangerously close to wood fire embers. Beach season is over. Eat the carbs. Again, trust me on this, order the croissant with chocolate inside, and almonds. Then order a pottery mug of Illy coffee, and read your newspaper. A real one, ideally the Wall Street Journal Saturday edition (you bought that on the way, right?). Look across the street on your way out, notice “The Roosevelt” restaurant across the street? Go out one night and order a cocktail there. People all over the country are talking about that place, it’s in your own backyard—live a little.

Belle Isle Pedestrian Foot Bridge, Richmond, VA 23219. The river is why we are here. It ran over rocks with such force that wheels could turn and make things, grind things into being. It powered the start of industry here. Walk over the bridge and admire the skyline and the old bridge trestles below. Consider bringing a book to read on a rock along the river, once over the bridge you will find yourself on an island, head west up the island and look for a rock on the right to perch with a blanket and book. May I suggest one? I’ll start with its great ending lines, “Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.” ― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It and Other Stories. On your way back, you’ll need to use the restroom, use the Civil War Center restroom at Tredegar, as you walk into the museum gates, go into the building on your left, it’s free, take the elevator to the bathroom on the second floor. The building you’re now in made artillery during the Civil War.

Time to wet your whistle. So many good places, but if it were me, I’d either go to Penny Lane Pub, 421 E Franklin St, Richmond, VA 23219, for a pint of beer or Havana 59, 16 N 17th St, Richmond, VA 23219 and order the Mojito, if you’re there on a Thursday night, go to the second floor and salsa dance on the terrace after dinner. I know, you don’t know how to salsa, but after 2-3 mojitos, magically you will likely not care.

Your life will improve by reading better books. Did you know that? It really can. It’s OK to start a book and stop and move on, just try a few. Try it. Browsing for books in a real store, not Amazon, is a simple joy that is worth returning to. Black Swan Books, 2601 W Main St, Richmond, VA 23220, Libbie Books, 411 Libbie Ave, Richmond, VA 23226, Book People, 536 Granite Ave, Richmond, VA 23226. The Book People store is for sale right now—ever wanted to own a bookstore? You can buy the whole shooting match and run it for $50,000.00. I’ll help keep you in the black.

Visit my church. First Baptist Church, 2709 Monument Ave, Richmond, VA 23220, come to the 11AM service. Wave to your friends, as you’ll be on television! You get in free with or without my newsletter. Come up to me and say hello. I’ll be the guy with the red hair trying to figure out what page of the hymnal we’re now on.

Final point. I’m going to blow your mind on this one. The best Italian in all of Richmond is in Chester, Virginia at Sapori, 3513 Festival Park Plaza, Chester, VA 23831. You don’t believe me. Go, order the veal saltimbocca. I know you don’t like veal, have never liked veal . . . try it one more time.

The highly regarded and very popular Divorce Recovery Workshop begins September 21st at Richmond’s First Baptist Church on 2709 Monument Avenue. It is not “preachy” or “religious,” I’m told, but rather focused on recovery from divorce/separation from an education, support and encouragement perspective.

The workshop is in its 20th year of operation and attended by our clients from all over the Richmond metropolitan region.

Childcare is provided from infant to teens. Refreshments are also provided. There are also optional social events in addition to the weekly workshop.

The workshop runs one night each week, after work, from September 21 – November 9, 2014.

You could always go for the first night, and if it’s not for you, stop coming. For our divorce clients and past clients—what do you have to lose?

Attorney Van Smith highly recommends this program to all of his clients.

One past attendee noted, “The workshop gave me the realization that I was not alone in experiencing the pain and loss that results from divorce,” and another added, “the workshop gave me a blueprint for the future . . . .”

The highly regarded and very popular Divorce Recovery Workshop begins September 21st at Richmond’s First Baptist Church on 2709 Monument Avenue. It is not “preachy” or “religious,” I’m told, but rather focused on recovery from divorce/separation from an education, support and encouragement perspective.

The workshop is in its 20th year of operation and attended by our clients from all over the Richmond metropolitan region.

Child care is provided from infant to teens. Refreshments are also provided. There are also optional social events in addition to the weekly workshop.

The workshop runs one night each week, after work, from September 21 – November 9, 2014.

You could always go for the first night, and if it’s not for you, stop coming. For our divorce clients and past clients—what do you have to lose?

Attorney Van Smith attends First Baptist Church in Richmond and highly recommends this program to all of his clients.

One past attendee noted, “The workshop gave me the realization that I was not alone in experiencing the pain and loss that results from divorce,” and another added, “the workshop gave me a blueprint for the future . . . .”

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/divorce-recovery-workshop-richmond-virginia-attorney.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-137018Mon, 18 Aug 2014 09:53:00 ESTThe following is a special story written and published with our client’s permission and encouragement—

He was all-natural. Nothing synthetic, from his personality to the fabric of his clothes. There was a studied naturalism, an intentional simplicity to “Roger” and his approach to life. And in spite of that purposefulness, designed for lifelong stability, his wife developed a different vision—a new life, riding off in a gleaming convertible, a fresh start, with someone new. The children were grown. And she had grown apart from him.

“Van, my magic stopped working on her.” He held his head down. The hurt and failure, the finality of the statement, finally said aloud was too much. He clinched back tears.

He lifted an old leather briefcase holding his assets and debts for review. If divorce was required--how to do it while preserving his retirement and life-savings and preventing a court battle? His wife hired a top-notch firm, known for brutal litigation tactics.

We went through all of the property statements, accounts, debt. I closed my eyes and said, “Here is how this case will settle.” I went through the opening offer, their response, our counter, and how the final settlement would look—to the dollar. A few weeks later, we reached an agreement, exactly as outlined in that first meeting. He was relieved.

“You must come, Van, and make a pen with me—my gift—for getting this case done.”

I arrived at his house. Somehow, the house appeared, much as he did in that first meeting. Authentic, all-natural, brown wood and bent iron. Nothing vinyl attached to this home.

He seared steaks on the charcoal grill, wetting wood chips on top of the charcoal to lend the meat a smoky flavor.

And after dinner, he held out rectangular blocks of ivory and ancient wood. Our mission: turning the blocks into a custom-made pen on his lathe. The sharp edges worn down, smooth. Next, polish. The hard edges, rounded, polished, the wood and ivory now ready for a new chapter.

And so was he.

“I went on a date last week,” a bit of the old smile returning. It wouldn’t be the last.

I looked down at the beautiful pen, a lasting expression of thanks.

]]>https://www.smithstrong.com/blog/richmond-divorce-attorney-property-settlement-agreement.cfmwww.smithstrong.com-137017Sun, 17 Aug 2014 09:35:00 ESTLover? Significant Other? Boyfriend? Lady-friend? These terms each connote something slightly different in their attempt to describe a nonmarital relationship between two consenting adults. Seldom do you hear the synonymous word paramour, but this term is in vogue in legal circles at the moment. In fact, recent Supreme Court opinions have used this word when describing love triangles in certain court cases.

Circa 1300, the word paramour had religious connotations. Men might use the word when referring to the Virgin Mary, and women would use the word in reference to Christ. Stemming from the French phrase “par amour”, or “with desire”, the noun version of the word eventually came to describe an illicit lover. In contemporary times, the word mistress gained popularity as the term of art used to describe a woman having an adulterous relationship with a married man. A male equivalent for the term does not exist, really. The old term “fancy man” for a male lover is difficult to imagine gaining linguistic popularity.

So we find ourselves back to the antiquated, but useful term, paramour, which has come to essentially mean the following: a person with whom one is having a romantic or sexual relationship, especially an illicit one. Whether you have a paramour yourself, or just think it is fun to say the word, the term’s newfound popularity in legal circles is intriguing.