Message Boards

Topic : Overcoming Grief

Grieving profound loss can be devastating, but it is a natural process. Share your grief with others and find support to help you recover.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

Loss of My Father

Three years ago my Dad was diagnosed with Myleodysplasia a incurable blood disease, also known as pre-Leukemia. We were all devastated as he was such a strong healthy stable force in our family. I have never come to terms with his illness, and for the past 3 years have been on such a roller coaster of emotions....Elated when he was doing well to being heartbroken when he wasn't. On June 23rd, my Dad peacefully passed away in his bed at home. I am so absolutely devastated by this, and have no idea how to deal with him being gone. No matter how old you are, I am in my late 30's and the mother of two school aged children.....Your parents are still your parents, and I really miss my Dad so much. How do you ever overcome such a loss???

I know .................

Three years ago my Dad was diagnosed with Myleodysplasia a incurable blood disease, also known as pre-Leukemia. We were all devastated as he was such a strong healthy stable force in our family. I have never come to terms with his illness, and for the past 3 years have been on such a roller coaster of emotions....Elated when he was doing well to being heartbroken when he wasn't. On June 23rd, my Dad peacefully passed away in his bed at home. I am so absolutely devastated by this, and have no idea how to deal with him being gone. No matter how old you are, I am in my late 30's and the mother of two school aged children.....Your parents are still your parents, and I really miss my Dad so much. How do you ever overcome such a loss???

My dad died a year ago with Hep C . He had a blood tranfusion many years ago
when they didnt screen the blood. I'm in my late 30's to. Though my dad was never around much growing up. Before he died he spent the last 3years making it up and became a father I craved for all my life. I miss him and I know how hard it is for you. I'm thankful that he was a part of my life and my childrens lives for even just for a short time. I think in time the pain will ease up but just wanted you to know that I know how you are feeling and you arent alone.

suicide

On May 10, 2005 my 39 year old son comitted suicide. He had been incarcerated for 9 months and was depressed and the jail would not give him his antidepressant drugs or his anxiety drugs. Consequently he began to loose hope and hung himself.

I had spoken to him just 1 hour before the guards found him. I had a strange feeling, but did nothing about it.

I feel very guilty for not notifying the authorities, but my son had often "cried wolf" so many times.

I'm having a very difficult coping with my guilt and most of the loss of my first born.

SIDS Grief

I am new to the boards, however have been a fan of Dr. Phil, his show, and web site. I am just introducing myself to others who are here through thier grief.....

I lost my son from SIDS at six and a half weeks old June 12,1999. I have come to a point in my grief where I am able to continue on a daily bases, and also memorialize my child as well. The first year was of course the hardest to get through, and each year following did seem to get easier & easier to cope with. We, as a family talk about Baby Jack regularly, in a normal fashion...as normal as it can be that is.

We have made a support group for families who have lost a child from SIDS, and it is our passion to help others through that grief. And of course in the memory of our child is the reason for our hearts desire.

I'll continue to browse around this board for grief..... I hope that others have found this board very helpful to them in thier great time of need!

still trying to handle it also

my dad died on july 9 of a heart attack and my family and me are still trying trying to handle it as we all miss him so much.. it is so hard but with each other help we are getting thru it and God s help also. I still cry alot sure but we will make together as a family and with Gods help and guidance we can get thru this trial in our life if we only ask of him. as each day goes I know we can have happy memories of him and talk of what we did with dad and the car rides we did when we was little. we will always have that. also pets can have a great hold as a family member also when they die also as our cat died 2 hours after dad died. a blood went to his back legs and the vet said there wasn't nothing they could do. so we had to put him down. he had a heart problem also. Love comes in all sorts of ways. just have to look for them......they may be tiny,or big,but love can come from anywhere. 2nephi

Overcoming Grief

I am new to the boards, however have been a fan of Dr. Phil, his show, and web site. I am just introducing myself to others who are here through thier grief.....

I lost my son from SIDS at six and a half weeks old June 12,1999. I have come to a point in my grief where I am able to continue on a daily bases, and also memorialize my child as well. The first year was of course the hardest to get through, and each year following did seem to get easier & easier to cope with. We, as a family talk about Baby Jack regularly, in a normal fashion...as normal as it can be that is.

We have made a support group for families who have lost a child from SIDS, and it is our passion to help others through that grief. And of course in the memory of our child is the reason for our hearts desire.

I'll continue to browse around this board for grief..... I hope that others have found this board very helpful to them in thier great time of need!

God Bless you all!

Nancy

Hello Nancy. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I too lost a child to SIDS. Our daughter Carlie died of SIDS on April 25th, 2000. She is a twin. Her twin brother will be starting kindergarten in about 3 weeks. You are right, the pain does lessen, though I am having bittersweet moments with Cody starting school. Buying school supplies for my surviving twin was exciting, but hard at the same time because I know I should be buying for 2.

Where do you live? I live in Ft Worth Texas. Have you heard of SIDSFamilies.com? I frequented that Yahoogroup for a long time. I recently unsubscribed from the group because I have gotten to a better place. It was hard for me to offer support now that life is finally getting to a stable place and the overwhelming saddness is not around as much.

I have also had another little girl. She is 2 1/2, will be 3 on 11-2-05. She was very much our healing baby and really helped our grief.

I was very much into spreading SIDS Awareness and making sure that the average person knew about Back To Sleep and that SIDS cannot be prevented, but now I kind of feel like, my baby is gone, why should it be my job to make sure others try to reduce their risk to save their babies when they won't listen to me? Do you ever feel like that?

I keep in touch with a group of girls I met online in a Babies After SIDS group, and we don't talk about SIDS much at all. We talk about our babies, but not that they died of SIDS. I hate SIDS and I hate what the media has portrayed it out to be. I hate that many people think SIDS is abuse or murder.

What sort of relationship do you have with First Candle? Tom Harris, the current president of First Candle was president of the Local member, the Alliance For Infant Survival, here in DFW.

Well, I just wanted to say hi and let you know there is another SIDS mom that reads these boards. I too haven't posted much so I am pretty new to this. I hope to talk to you soon.

Overcoming Grief

Hello Nancy. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I too lost a child to SIDS. Our daughter Carlie died of SIDS on April 25th, 2000. She is a twin. Her twin brother will be starting kindergarten in about 3 weeks. You are right, the pain does lessen, though I am having bittersweet moments with Cody starting school. Buying school supplies for my surviving twin was exciting, but hard at the same time because I know I should be buying for 2.

Where do you live? I live in Ft Worth Texas. Have you heard of SIDSFamilies.com? I frequented that Yahoogroup for a long time. I recently unsubscribed from the group because I have gotten to a better place. It was hard for me to offer support now that life is finally getting to a stable place and the overwhelming saddness is not around as much.

I have also had another little girl. She is 2 1/2, will be 3 on 11-2-05. She was very much our healing baby and really helped our grief.

I was very much into spreading SIDS Awareness and making sure that the average person knew about Back To Sleep and that SIDS cannot be prevented, but now I kind of feel like, my baby is gone, why should it be my job to make sure others try to reduce their risk to save their babies when they won't listen to me? Do you ever feel like that?

I keep in touch with a group of girls I met online in a Babies After SIDS group, and we don't talk about SIDS much at all. We talk about our babies, but not that they died of SIDS. I hate SIDS and I hate what the media has portrayed it out to be. I hate that many people think SIDS is abuse or murder.

What sort of relationship do you have with First Candle? Tom Harris, the current president of First Candle was president of the Local member, the Alliance For Infant Survival, here in DFW.

Well, I just wanted to say hi and let you know there is another SIDS mom that reads these boards. I too haven't posted much so I am pretty new to this. I hope to talk to you soon.

I'm so sorry about your son

On May 10, 2005 my 39 year old son comitted suicide. He had been incarcerated for 9 months and was depressed and the jail would not give him his antidepressant drugs or his anxiety drugs. Consequently he began to loose hope and hung himself.

I had spoken to him just 1 hour before the guards found him. I had a strange feeling, but did nothing about it.

I feel very guilty for not notifying the authorities, but my son had often "cried wolf" so many times.

I'm having a very difficult coping with my guilt and most of the loss of my first born.

It would be very simple to start off by saying you shouldn't feel guilty but that would be more unkind than to ignore your story altogether. Your feelings are very normal and I believe happen with most people who loose someone suddenly - especialy to suicide. I used to help facilitate a suicide bereavement support group and sometimes people who come forward after 20 years to talk about how they felt - they had been carrying the guilt, sadness and sometimes shame for all those years. I commend you for stepping forward and reaching out. I have no idea where you live but if there is a loccal Distress Line or Suicide Prevention Line you might want to contact them to see if they are aware of any Bereavement Support Groups for those who have lost someone to Suicide. I found it truly heartening to watch the transformation of the participants from week to week as they were able to talk about the person they lost and all the feelings around it as well as begin the first tentative steps of healing. Their are not guidlines for healing but in reaching out you are certainly makinig the first step. You didn't mention you son's name but I know that he did not intend to leave you feeling the way you do.