Month: November 2015

Finding a meditation that suits your personality is certainly key. The other night I tested out one of Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations on Youtube. My reasoning was, if he is good enough for Oprah, he is good enough for me. I tried one geared for stressful moments. He opened with asking the listener to smile everywhere, even in “your genitalia.” This made the adolescent inside me really smile, which was stress-relieving. However, after that moment, I spent the rest of the meditation smirking and not being one with the universe.

The same part of me that is inclined to smirk is the same part that found it difficult to participate in the chanting portion of the guided meditation. Deepak began by asking listeners to repeat the words “abundance, existence, and joy.” The English professor in me rebelled against the abstractness. What does those words even mean?! Then, perhaps to show me I am not nearly as smart as I think am, he asked me to say the words in Sanskrit. Even though I was alone in the room, I was embarrassed by my mangled enunciations.

Tonight I tried a guided meditation for stress posted on Health.com: http://www.health.com/health/video/0,,20912167,00.html. Instead of being asked to smile everywhere and chant “existence and joy” in Sanskrit, the meditation asked me to clench different muscle groups as I inhaled and relax them as I exhaled. After going from feet to face, I felt better. Yes, there still was chanting involved. But instead of chanting abstract nouns or muttering mangled Sanskrit, I was asked to mentally say “one” when I exhaled. The purpose of this was to bring the attention to the breath. Once that was established, the “one” was dropped.

This second meditation worked so much better for me. In a way, it is depressing that I find muscle clenching and relaxing more satisfying than Sanskrit chants. Maybe one day I will be mature and cultured enough for Deepak, but I am not holding my breath (exhale). Sorry Oprah!

So far, for me, meditation has become a way to re-center myself and re-awaken as I move towards my evening work time. The hardest steps I take every day are the steps upstairs to my office after I put my children go to sleep, especially since the time change. I have worked a full day, went to the gym, helped my son do his second grade math and took him to piano lessons, read books to my children, washed a kitchen full of pots and pans, on and on. I let these obligations create a ball of resentment inside me, and I begin to rebel against all the unmet needs that await in my inbox.

Meditation has helped me push through those negative feelings. I identify the stressors and then dissolve them in my mind. When you meditate, you are not allowed to dwell. You identify the thought and then…

Meditation, for me, has been what Gretchen Rubin classifies as a red herring habit, one of those things you always say you are going to do, but have no intention of doing. The art of sitting still has always alluded me. I remember the torture of every Sunday having to sit quietly on a hard pine pew through lengthy Catholic masses. My mind and body were not designed for passive pursuits. It’s even difficult for me to sit through an entire movie at the theater.

However, it is 30-day challenge time in my classes, an assignment designed to tie research to practical application in my college composition classes. It has been, for the last three semesters, a highlight for me. I feel like I am making an impact beyond a student’s ability to punctuate and organize paragraphs. After researching his topic, one student wrote in a reflection, “In writing this paper, I’ve come full circle. The emotions I felt at the beginning to where they are now as I wrap up, are complete opposites. I started this paper in a major slump, going to bed every night being sad and waking up every morning not looking forward to the day. As I finish, I’ve taken all the information I’ve researched and placed it in my life so now I look at each day as a blessing- and each day is open to an endless amount of possibilities if you have the right mind set to see it that way.” I printed this out and put it on my wall to remind myself of the big picture when I am buried in the perfunctory rituals of grading.

As I sat in lotus leaf position on the floor of my office, I felt I was somehow cheating by listening to a voice. It gave me something else to focus on besides my breathing, which made the experience more endurable. The most helpful advice in the guided meditation was, when a stray thought enters your mind, to visualize the thought and remove it from your mind. It did this increasingly as the meditation went on. The most distracting thought was, when will this end? Nine minutes never felt so long. I actually popped up ten seconds before it ended because I could not stand it any longer.

Despite my agitation at the end, I feel more relaxed. I think much of the relaxation comes from the changes to my breathing. Most of my time in meditation was spent focusing on the inhaling and exhaling of my breath. This made me breath in and out more slowly and deeply. I am curious to see what other benefits I will gain over the course of the next 30 days.