An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

There was a man who had worked all his life. He had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to that money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!'

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a good Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque..... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Good morning Pretty Pie, here's a nasty old fart.
It says I love you from the bottom of my heart.
Put on some coffee on the way to your job,
when you pay the rent it makes my heart throb.
By the way, would you stop at the store ?
I'm out of my favorites and I need some more.
It sure is great to have a lover so nice,
if this all keeps up they'll be throwing the rice.

Edit: I had to change a name in there, sorry it wasn't meant to be you.

I suppose there is no KY, KY because they might confuse it with NY, NY and not recognize anything. What confuses me is driving through the southern part of northeast West Virgina. Or the eastern part of southwest North Carolina.

"DC, DC" is incorrect and therefore doesn't belong on your list. It is "Washington, DC." No one calls it "DC, DC!" Locals call it "DC" or "The District" or just Washington. When referring to the state on the West Coast, we call that "Washington State" if any distinction seems necessary.