Body
Balm

£19.95 GBP

When it comes to coffee, there’s a lot of them: soy, almond milk, ¾ shot or with sprinkles.

And just like my coffee-based skincare, your daily grind says a lot about you.

“I take my coffee black. Like my men.”

You’re a no bulls**t kind of babe. Skirt too short? You’ll tell them. Boyfriend being a dick? You’ll dump him. You’re not into drama, sequels nor fads, and can be found lurking in op shops, record stores and university lectures – that you’re not enrolled for.

You’re all about no bulls**t skincare too. So I recommend my Original Coffee Scrub. A natural, vegan coffee body scrub to buff away dry skin and throw at people who annoy you.

“… with sugar.

You love the sugar roller coaster and never want to hop off. You speak rapidly, find yourself in the chocolate aisle (without knowing how you got there) and prefer all your fruits to be glazed. If you have a mochaccino, it could tip you over the edge.

“… with cream.”

You’re a bubbly babe, just like the froth in your milk. You’re the first to strike up a conversation with the barista and stand back in astonishment as his latte art. Every now and again you will order a cappuccino to show you’re a sophisticated babe with a sweet side.

“… with nuts.”

You’re not down with dairy: almond, cashew or hazelnut milk is your coffee carrier. You’re the first to get your kit off (in public), believe that coconuts should be the new bra and that Prince Eric is truly the man of your dreams. Your inner animal? A mermaid.

“As an orange mocha frappuccino.”

You’re a babe who wants it all. Nothing is half-baked (except your brownies because you were too busy making cupcakes too); you’re probably solving world peace, launching a fashion brand and organising your best-babes birthday; and when it comes to boys, one man just ain’t enough.

I hear you, babe. So I’m offering all of myself to you with my Top to Toe skincare kit: the bestsellers from my face and body range.

“I drink instant coffee.”

No words. I just hope you’re saving for something.

“I don’t drink coffee.”

Please leave…

I’m just joking, babe. For you, tea is the business. While I (begrudgingly) respect your decision, I am going to take you to places you’ve never been with my Original Introduction skincare kit: my Original Coffee Scrub and Body Balm will give you the first date jitters, but not the ones that will give you a panic attack.

So consider me your body’s barista: I’ll wake you up, warm you up and smooth things over when you need it.