Weenie

A weenie is a person who is so lame, so pathetic that anthropologists will use him as an example of humanity gone wrong. He's a step below a nerd and a step below a geek. He is truly irredeemable. Symptoms of weeniedom is as follows:

You spend 11 minutes proving you're tough enough to get into a bar, but when you are allowed in, you slip on an ice cube and get covered in boo boos

You take a position on the whole bald vs. shaved debate. It doesn't matter what the position is. Just having a position makes you an indisputable weenie