Moving The World Perpetually

One of the things I’ve been struggling with ever since graduating college was the idea of rewards. I have gotten so used to being constantly rewarded for my efforts (studying) with gold stars (grades) that being out of that environment has left me feeling often unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I never realized that I actually relied heavily on my grades as a sense of achievement and progress. In my mind, getting good grades meant that I was moving towards something – I was receiving that gratification from my hard work. And because that was happening constantly, my mind has gotten into that vicious habit of always expecting some sort of external validation.

I entered my professional life with this unrealistic habit and I found myself completely unprepared for the lack of “grades” or “pats on the back” for my work, and I mean any type of work. I didn’t feel like I was moving anywhere with my small business idea, even though I made some sales with my designs. It didn’t feel like an achievement when working for one of the biggest advertising agencies right out of college. There was nobody to give me an “A” anymore, and that hurt…that hurt me deeply.

It took some tough love and a lot of sense talked into me to realize that from now on I am in charge of my own rewards, I am in charge of creating my own gold stars. I am the master of my destiny, the hero of my own story.

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There will always be people that praise you, that adore you. But there will also be people that will ignore you and dislike you. Relying on external validation is a sure path to true unhappiness, because when those external factors are really gone, so is your true essence. By creating your own gold stars you decide upon your achievements, even if a lot of times they are subtle and not at all tangible.

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Did you muster up the courage to talk to someone you’ve always admired?

– Yes. You get a gold star.

Did you do one more push-up than usual today because you could?

– Yes. You get a gold star.

Did you smile at someone who was disrespectful and accepted their rudeness as something you cannot change?

– Yes. You get a gold star.

Did you face your fear of driving on the highway?

– Yes. You get a gold star.

Did you move across states to start a new life in a city where you don’t know anyone?