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Stupid Brain/Nervous System *Stabs with Q-Tip*

I have an appointment with my general practitioner (GP) tomorrow, and I am a wreck. I’ve been a wreck for a couple of days now. Brain/body, really, stop this because it’s not cool. You do this for just about every single appointment that comes up, and there’s no need. It’s even worse because I attended an appointment with the nurse just fine last week, by myself, and felt like I’d made a good step. Instead, I’ve already had to ask my husband to come with me tomorrow because my brain is in such shutdown that I don’t trust myself to remember anything that happens.

Really brain, why do you think this is a good idea.

I think that, perhaps, a tiny part of it is fear that the doctor is going to go on emergency leave again out of the blue. He’s the one that does the sexual health clinic and IUD installation, and he ended up going off for a couple of months right as I was trying to get the ball rolling on that earlier in the year. I’m a step ahead compliments of the nurse; since I was already in for my routine smear test, she did the tests I needed done in advance of getting the IUD ordered and placed. If those all check out when we talk to the doctor tomorrow, then everything should line up to get things done once the sexual health clinic is back on its feet.

I know, logically, it’ll all be fine and everything will go well. But yanno, tell that to my asshole brain and unsympathetic nervous system (*insert rimshot here*).

*sighs*

Anyways, off to bed and hopefully a good night of sleep. Which will probably be followed by a day of climbing walls from panxiety (thanks morgueticia for the great term), but oh well. Then hopefully it’ll all be fine once it’s done and over and my broken bits get over themselves and act like nothing happened.

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Stupid Brain/Nervous System *Stabs with Q-Tip* — 7 Comments

It get a giggle that so many in the mental health community on wordpress have latched onto the term “panxiety” yet I tried to explain it to my shrink and he looked at me like I’d grown two heads and one of them was wearing a tinfoil hat.
I think it’s an especially apt term and the more who use it, the merrier. Good luck, I have “everything” anxiety, be it appointments, social outings, errands- it all gets me in nervous wreck territory. Stupid brains, right?

Definitely stupid brains. I think my default is still a pretty high level of anxiety, but like, I’m used to it? I’m used to it enough that I forget to ask the doctor to consider adding another med to help it or something. Or I convince myself that it’s momentary instead of constant and blah blah blah.

Thinking of you and I’m hoping all goes smoother than silk over the next day. I’m glad your husband will be going with you!!! (I completely understand why you’re concerned the doctor will go on emergency leave again – that was a big blow. I remember your writing about that…your fear is ***valid***!!!!!!)

Thank you for your kind feelings. <3 I'm also worried as a default that I'll be told that I'm not actually having any problems, or that my brain will shut down during the appointment and I'll forget the salient bits, so having him along is good backup to make sure that we remember everything we need!

Wait, are you saying that you’re having your IUD installed tomorrow? That would be enough to give anyone a case of the fantods. Give your brain a break, let her go on vaycay, your husband can accompany your body and you can welcome your brain back home whenever she’s ready. Steady as she goes, you’ll be fine in a jiffy!

No worries. <3 This appointment is to talk to the GP and discuss what birth control I want. I already know what I want after talking to the other doctors in the surgery, so it's more getting him to order the correct hardware for whenever he has his next sexual health clinic. That's where he does the implanting. I should also find out the results of my smear and the related proddings while I'm there. The related proddings is to make sure there are no infections that would be a problem when actually inserting the IUD. So my brain is convinced there will be infections and that there will be nothing I can do to fix it and that therefore I cannot get the IUD. So in short, lots of little substeps the brain is freaked out about.