If you’ve never watched the 1983 holiday screen gem “The Christmas Story” or even if you have, one particularly tasty bit of winter wisdom bears repeating: even if you’re triple dog dared, do NOT touch your tongue to a frozen pole!

The Lick Of The Spiro-ish

Are you smarter than a fifth-grader? If the fifth-grader in question is Maranda Byrd of Spiro, Oklahoma, everyone please step up and claim your prize. Poor Maranda got her tongue stuck to a pole one winter but we guess she wasn’t too traumatized because when her smart-ass brothers dared her to do it again the next year, she did… and this time, it didn’t come unstuck. When the school bus pulled up to pick them up, the driver told Maranda she was running late and left her there alone, still stuck to the pole. Well hey, it wasn’t like she was going to wander off or anything.

When The Light Turns Red, His Tongue Turns Blue

When police in Hammond, Indiana were called to free a 10-year-old boy whose tongue had frozen to a streetlight pole, the attending officer just couldn’t help stating “You’d think everybody in the country had seen ‘A Christmas Story’ by now.” As for the boy, he didn’t say much on account of his frostbitten tongue but he did happen to mention that he was dared. Did we mention the fictional town in the movie “The Christmas Story” was based on Hammond? Life really does imitate art and in Hammond, at least, art imitates art: the image above is of the Christmas Story diorama at the Hammond Welcome center.

Boise Will Be Boise

When the morning headlines scream “Boise boy licks pole, gets stuck,” it’s either a slow news day or a mighty cold day – ideally, both. Such was the case on December 8th, 2009 when 10-year-old Sam Nicholson from you guessed it, Boise, took a licking and kept on sticking. A passing driver noticed the distressed lad and called 911; firefighters responded with sirens blaring and a glass of warm water to free Sam’s temperature-challenged tongue. Hey, it beats rescuing cats from trees.