7 Reasons to Turn Your Office Into a Fight Club

If you saw the movie Fight Club, there is a good chance you daydreamed about joining one, or better yet, forming one. Being a business owner grants you the power to make this dream come true, but there is always that question “Just because I can, does it mean I should?” Other questions you might ask yourself are: “How exactly does Fight Club help me earn more money?”, “What if my workers break the first and second rule and talk about Fight Club?”, “Can I encounter legal issues down the road if I go through with this idea?” etc. Personally, I don’t know the answers to these questions, but nevertheless I am here to encourage you to go through with this idea.

There are many ways to make your office more interesting, but turning it into a fight club will most definitely make you very proud. In case you were wondering how to do it right, simply tell everyone to watch the movie at home, and say “We’re doing this from now on.” Your employees might feel sceptical at first, but after a punch or two, they’ll realize you are not kidding around, thus your very own fight club will be born. But, enough of “how to” instructions – you’ll figure it out on your own soon enough – here’s a list of reasons why you should totally do this.

1. People Will Get in Shape

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Considering how the combatants will wear tank tops or be shirtless during the fights, your workers will become insecure about their shape. This will make them hit the gym more often and undergo a rigorous sculpting training. As a result, you’ll have intellectuals and professionals at your disposals, who are built like Spartans, making you feel like Leonidas. This may not earn you money in your line of work, but you can always make your employees take pictures for a calendar, you know, like firefighters.

There you go, a way to earn more money out of the whole arrangement. Now, you might have some moral issues and second guess this decision under the premise that you are exploiting your staff. Wrong! You are turning your workers into sex symbols, there is absolutely no need to feel bad about it.

2. Great Way to Blow Off Some Steam

People tend to become rather tense after working too long, and your fight club will help a great deal with this built up stress. Whenever your employees end up in an argument, you will no longer have to act like a mediator, they will settle their argument like men come fight night. Besides, you have female workers as well, and there is nothing a woman would love more than to beat a man to a bloody pulp, every now and then.

Since men were always portrayed as physically stronger, women usually felt bad about upsetting this well-establish order and destroying fragile egos, but since no one is allowed to talk about fight club, no embarrassing information will come to light.

3. You’ll Go Viral

This contradicts some of the basic rules, but you’re the boss and spreading brand awareness is of greater importance. So, if you decide to record a couple of fights that are indeed legit, you are on your way to becoming an internet celebrity. If you need something to stand out from the crowd, fight club videos are definitely the way to go. You know what they say – “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs” or a few teeth and bones in this case. All things considered, having widespread brand awareness can never be bad for your business.

4. Unique Team Building Exercise

Being a successful business owner requires an incredible amount of teamwork, and if you want to have a good team, then team building exercises are a must. How does making people fightl build team spirit, you ask? Well, people have more appreciation for one another if they know each other’s strengths. However, once you teach your teammates to appreciate one another based on their fighting abilities, you better be damn sure you are the toughest one in the company. Moreover, in order to promote team spirit, it would be wise to arrange a couple of tag team fights.

5. The Perfect Way to Decide Who Gets a Promotion

“I know you are a good and reliable worker John, but when I said you have to fight for a better future, I meant it literally.”

Your fight club incentive will not be taken seriously, unless you make it clear just how important it is. The best way to go about this issue is to have certain “conditions” when it comes to promotion. For example, in order to advance to a position of a senior you must be a better fighter than a 60% of your co-workers, and if you want to have a position of an executive, the bar is raised to 70% and you must be able to go solo against two seniors.

These are just suggestions, of course, you do not need to use the same rules; use your imagination. After all, promotion is kind of a big deal, so people need to appreciate their position, and employees need to appreciate their seniors.

6. You Can All Endorse Each Other for “Fighting” Skill

Everyone has a LinkedIn profile, and people endorse each other for all sorts of ridiculous skills. Some of these skills are even common sense, and I feel that putting them on your profile is utterly ridiculous (I mean who doesn’t know Microsoft Word and PowerPoint, seriously). However, you rarely see fighting or martial arts waiting for endorsement.

In other words, use this vacancy to start a new online trend. Again, you are more likely to get noticed this way, and as it was already mentioned, popularity is great for business. So, if you are still not convinced that starting a fight club is a good idea, I seriously don’t know what is wrong with you.

7. The Strongest One in the Office

Finally, people will have a better grip on reality once you introduce this colosseum as a part of your work routine. Trapped in their bubble, completely seduced by their confidence, they walk around thinking they could take on just about anyone. Well, it’s time to give them a wakeup call and prove which one of them was actually right from the start.

You might think that this is bad and traumatizing, but it is actually a great wakeup call. The moment someone finds out he or she does not live up to their own expectations, is the moment when those people start working on self-improvement. The existence of a fight club will continuously promote that need, and ultimately turn everyone into a better person and a mean fighting machine.

As you can see, turning your office into a fight club is not a bad idea. In fact, it is far from it. Apart from some legal issues and moral boundaries, this idea is literally the best thing that can happen to your office. Once the bruises heal, everyone will look really attractive, and you can become famous, more confident and abolish the foolish notion of “brains over brawns” (I don’t know who came up with it, but the person was weakling, let me tell you that). People focus on their professional career so much that they forget to work on their shape, and starting a fight club will rectify this mistake.