Whatever euphemisms were employed – "industrial language", "normal football verbals", or "just handbags, innit" – the air at Westminster magistrates court was pretty blue. It said everything that the least offensive epithet appeared to be "knobhead".

Evidence focused on the eight-second altercation between John Terry and Anton Ferdinand in the 84th minute of the QPR v Chelsea derby at Loftus Road, and the words used. For four days, those atavistic words referring to sexual activity and male and female genitalia were repeated, and repeated, and repeated.

The most offensive word in the context of the trial was "black", which was about the only one broadcasters could repeat, as presenters tried to convey the central facts of the case with phrases such as "the word black book-ended by obscenities".

The CPS lawyer Duncan Penny's physical resemblance to the actor Peter Capaldi, with Scottish burr to boot, drew irresistible comparison to the fictional spindoctor Malcom Tucker as profanities poured from his prosecuting lips. It felt like being on the set of The Thick of It or, perhaps, in a scene from Withnail and I. Surreal, either way.

With courtroom deadpan delivery and forensic word-by-word deconstruction, the lingua franca of the pitch lost its pejorative power to shock, displaying instead a terrifying paucity of vocabulary possessed by our multimillionaire sports stars.

Yes, replied Terry. Add in "fat", "ugly", and gestures that indicate bad breath, before the aforementioned C-word. "Cunt is fine," Ferdinand said in his evidence, but not if you added the word black, which took it to a whole new level.

"So there are four fucks," tallied up Penny as Terry gave evidence, "and three of them you attribute to Mr Ferdinand?"

Before the chief magistrate, Howard Riddle, both Terry and Ferdinand appeared diminished, maybe even chastened, as though summoned to the headteacher's office. "Excuse the language," apologised Ferdinand as he recounted his version of events. Likewise Terry, when asked to recount the "shagging" allegation: "I don't want to say it, but if I have to …"

If he wasn't inured at the beginning, Riddle certainly was by the end of the trial. Comparisons were made to the playground, which is where this language will be repeated. What would Bobby Charlton make of it?