Tiny and Terrible

Having three kids is a bit crazy. Things all take a bit longer and are a bit more complicated when you add a third kid……room in cars for car seats, room in house for cribs and beds, seats at restaurants, hands to hold, and so on.

Throwing a baby into any dynamic always causes a bit of an adjustment. Just getting out of the house takes a bit longer. Things are forgotten. Children that once relied on YOU to remind THEM to bring stuff, soon find out they are shit outta luck.

I growl at mine that they are lucky I remember to feed them.

Tara has made things maybe a bit more crazy than other babies. And I have realized that she was doing this even before she was born.

She was breech. She refused to not sit up! Her favorite position in utero was upright…straight up and down…legs curled around. And that is pretty much the way she wanted to and could sit at an extremely early age.

So there went my dreams of an home birth. I don’t think my husband or my mom really took me seriously about this. But I was serious. Caity had come hard and fast, so I really wasn’t looking forward to a race to the hospital again. Also, I was deeply concerned about the kids. I didn’t want them left at home. I didn’t want them NOT being a part of this.

So Tara refusing to turn was a big let down for me. For sure I had very confident midwives who had done breeches..and I suppose if I hadn’t lost Scott, I wouldn’t have been so skittish about that and just gone with their instinct on the whole thing.

But they knew I was uneasy about that. So instead they TRIED to find doctors in the Lower Mainland who would be willing to deliver a breech baby. They are few and far between. They had a couple lined up…but again….really all now depended on what Tara wanted to do.

By this time the stress of it all was getting to me. I was at the point where I just really wanted her OUT and SAFE and it all over and done with.

So when I realized my labour was on the clock….leading up to the end of the willing doctors shift…..I was more than resigned to the inevitable c-section.

Therefore, apart from all the fun of what was a ‘useless’ few hours of contractions….I was pretty calm about it all. And so was Patrick.

However..my children and my mom were not. My mom, who had just been freaking from day one was freaking the kids out and they all felt cut off and left out and I hated that I could not make Tara’s delivery a better experience for them.

So that has been our T.

Full of joy. Full of energy.

She never sleeps longer than two hours. EVER.

She never sits still.

She doesn’t fall asleep in your arms.

She wiggles. She bounces. She yells.

She moves.

I will sell my soul for someone out there who can help us get this child to sleep.

She is almost 8 months old.

I am losing my mind.

My total lack of sleep is KILLING all the joy that should be had in having such a fun and crazy baby.

Life feels on hold instead of being relished and enjoyed.

The whole family is cranky from disturbed sleep. Everyone is woken by Tara. All night long.

This is not healthy for any of us.

We love our little girl, but she needs to sleep. Four hours would rock. I then could handle and enjoy all her crazy energy and still feel like could accomplish something during my day and not have the entire Sauriol clan growling and snarking at each other.

Comments

Oh the fuzzy pictures of her are so cute. You can tell she just never stops.

I was kind of obsessed with finding a sleep solution for my son. I think I read every sleep book and forum that existed so I know where you’re coming from. Although it was better for us because there were no other kids to keep up and my husband just happily put his earplugs in and forgot about it. (I won’t say what I thought about that…)

I’ll go ahead and make some suggestions that you probably already know…
1. Put her in her own room if possible. I don’t know if it’s possible to have the older kids sleep in one room and her by herself but I know my kids just would not sleep when they were in our room. At all.
2. Give her a noise machine set to white noise ($20 at Walmart)
3. I’ve found that neither one of my kids would sleep well when their limbs were free. Both of them slept the first 2 years of their lives in a sleep sack (Em is still in one). It doesn’t bind them but makes it more difficult for them to flail so much.
4. Keep your routine for naps and bedtime as much as you possibly can.
5. When she wakes try not to pick her up, but rub her back and Shhh her. Leave the room and pray she calms down.

My son went through a stage around 9 months where he was up for hours in the middle of the night. I got so frustrated that nothing worked that one night I just left him there. I felt like a massive shit but I couldn’t take it. He did eventually stop – that night and every night.

I still have the “Solve All Your Problems with the Baby Whisperer” book. I didn’t find it helped with K but if haven’t tried it I’d be willing to bring in on Saturday to give to you.
.-= Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves´s last blog ..Champion of the Potty =-.

Oh dear. I don’t know what to say – she’s absolutely her own kid, I can see it in her eyes. I really hope things get better for you soon. I waited until my kids were 10 months to sleep train them. 8.5 months, when I was going batshit and so were they…I knew it wouldn’t work. Maybe it would help YOU if you picked a date when you think she’d take to some “training” and then at least there’s an end in sight? Even if you have to move the target…
teething?…ibuprofen?
…it’s so hard to not sleep. It’s hard on the older kids but if you tell them, it won’t be forever, please be easy on me.
.-= cheesefairy´s last blog ..Food, etc. =-.

I remember that feeling. You feel like even one good night might make all the difference. I am in pandemonium here for another 6 weeks but let’s look at you and T having a sleepover with us. I would love that. I miss babies so much and i could be night nanny for one night.
.-= mo-wo´s last blog ..Skate =-.

Aiden has been a go-go-go baby since day 1 as well. We’re in the midst of sleep training right now. Kind of similar to your first comment there, but with some adaptations and a lot more detail. We’re on day 5 right now and my wake-every-1.5-hours (at best) baby actually slept 7 hours last night! 7!!

So, I’d be happy to tell you what we’re doing. Or to give you the name of our sleep consultant. She can customize you a set of instructions and also provide 3 weeks of support for about $300. Sleep is priceless, in my opinion. And I hope your soul is worth a whole lot more than $300.

Wow, she looks so BIG in all of those photos. She’s clearly thriving, in spite of lack of sleep.

I have no answers. I think that with kids you get what you get. When I had my 2nd I realized that all that stuff I had figured out, I didn’t really have figured out. Each new addition mixes it up in all new and exciting ways. All the same, I hope you find some rest soon.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..What I Learned in February 2010 =-.

First, she is gorgeous. And I completely feel for you, the lack of sleep is just brutal. I don’t know if we ever fully recover from extended sleep deprivation, but it does get better.

Second, she will sleep eventually, whatever you do or don’t do. My son was similar and I succumbed to Ferber sleep training gentled with “the no cry sleep solution” as a preamble. I agonised over doing this since I don;t really believe in it. In the end I was losing my mind, we did controlled crying (he was 13 months at the time), it took 4 nights, and he slept 12hrs straight ever since. I’m still not sure if I believe this is the right approach, but I have to say our son remained his usual cheerful self afterwards, and the rest of us felt much better. The 4 nights of crying are a distant memory now for me, and I’m sure for him too.