A woman embarks upon a relentless pursuit of her dreams... these are her "letters from the inside."

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Beware. Be Aware. Be Where You Are!

Whoa now... Take it easy! Slow down and stop for a second! Be where you are at this very moment and take a look around! These were the thoughts running through my mind as I stepped out into the brisk September night. I had just been engulfed in a conversation of hypotheticals with a good friend. Scenarios presented to one another such as: if you could live anywhere, do anything, not have to factor in anyone, and money wasn't a problem etc. then what would that picture look like?

We went off on wild tangents about where we might love to live for a year or two if money or reality wasn't an issue. It was really fun to get lost in the hills of Tuscany if only for a moment; imagining an intimate Italian feast complete with a host of fabulous European friends.

Then the conversation morphed into a petrie dish of our present lives. We sat around, dissecting the many variables; the 'what was,' 'what is,' and 'what is yet possible.' And a simple exploration of dreamland, took a hard turn into the bleakness of reality.

All I could think about was getting to the next place, the next phase, and far away from where I am. And then, to my rescue, my dogs gave me one of those looks; you know, the kind that says "Mommy please take us outside so we can pee on trees and chase frogs."

I excused myself from the conversation that had seemingly peaked in intensity: our present set of circumstances all studied carefully under a microscope. It's not so bad to take an inventory of what is, I thought to myself as I hooked the leashes to my dog's collars and stepped outside. Yeah, it's natural to take stock of your life every so often. STOP! BEWARE!! Something rattled in the nearby bushes. It was so dark outside last night, you couldn't see but ten feet in front of you. Ok, time to take a deep breath. The dogs promptly investigated the sound and chased the little unidentified woodland creature away.

And then, almost as if there was a flashing caution sign going off in my head, I reminded myself of the vitality of awareness. Self awareness and the wherewithal to take stock of your surroundings is something that is left by the wayside when getting overly fixated on the road ahead. What's next has a way of clouding the simple beauty of what is.

I kicked myself for getting caught up and overly anxious for all that is yet to come. JustBE WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Beware of the pitfalls, the hang-ups and the self defeating habits of the past. Be aware of the actual state of what is and how far you've come.

And just enjoy the given circumstances, whatever they may be.

I looked up at that moment at the rich blanket of stars that engulfed the night sky. It was sublime and perfect. And I decided that for as long as I am here, I need to just be where I am...

Manhattan may be next on my agenda and that is exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. But, I know one thing for certain; the bright lights of the big city are undoubtedly beautiful, but cannot compare to the spectacular natural wonder of the starry night sky that I stood beneath last night. Beneath the twinkling stars, I surrendered to the present tense and was awestruck by the beauty of nature.

And for that realization, I am aware now, more than ever, of how lucky I am to be right where I am today. Everything is unfolding as it should. Perhaps the daydreams and 'what if' scenarios are all around you for the taking, if you are calmly persistent, humble and patient, thoughtful and utterly aware of all that God has given.

There is a saying, "Bloom where you are planted". That is something to think about. When I was walking and hitch-hiking around the world in the 60s with a mindset of being America's Good Will Ambassador, I was asked on more than one occasion, "Is your mission to circle the globe or to experience the people of the world?" Striking the right balance if always the challenge in life. Right now I would say that you are in full absorbing mode...taking it all in as in the poem "There Was a Child Went Forth" by Walt Whitman.