I am totally aware of this. Right now I’m feeling an old habit creeping up on me, the feeling of boredom. I don’t want to be bored, yet I am. Perhaps the gloomy weather is causing me to feel this way, perhaps it’s my job.

Regardless I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for my life. I’m thankful that I was able to manifest an online business selling crystals; I don’t even know how it happened – being a seller was never really on my radar but marketing and building websites were, so there. It helps that I really like crystals too.

But I get bored still from time to time…I think everybody does.

You don’t have to fight it, but you can’t let it take over completely. So I am writing this to my future self as a reminder:

+ If you get bored, remember to just simply change it up! Do something a different way or make it a point to learn something new every day.

+ Snap out of it, snap out of feeling sorry for yourself. Other people are really suffering and here you are complaining about being bored. SMH. Exercise, go outside, take a walk, breathe and be in gratitude for fuck sake. You really have a lot to be thankful for.

I am all too aware that I am also creeping my way into getting old, I can see the subtleties on my face. I’m caring less and less about a lot of things but I also don’t want to be forgetful. And I don’t want to be helpless. That’s why they say reading, writing and problem solving or playing memory games is important.

I’ve also been thinking about my finances a lot more, like 401ks and life insurance. I don’t have children so that made it a little easier, but I still have to think about retirement and my loved ones. Had I payed closer attention to this stuff when I was younger, I would be all set for retirement! I would be rich by this world’s standards. But if I DID amass that huge amount, then Uncle Sam would be taxing me for it, wouldn’t he? He sure would! So really, which choice is better; and are you really rich if all that you saved up for goes to paying down debt?

Whatever choice I picked is fine for me, I am successful either way. No matter what choice we make in life, Spirit will always look out for your best interest. You can always look back on your life and see how everything actually worked out for you.

I wanted to draw something for this post but I got stuck. So here’s an old drawing that I decided would look better in hot pink and as an animated gif.

I literally want to learn how to do A LOT of things. Where does one draw the line?

I also want to just do nothing, really. Have I lost my sense of identity? Probably. I have always thought that art would be my path. It is, just not in the way I imagined. It is still one of many possibilities, and I’m still holding on to the fantasy that I will create in that capacity again.

But let’s face it, as grownups it’s not exactly easy to make “art for art’s sake” – most things adults do has a purpose. But if it’s important to you, you will find the time.

I want to get better at business and marketing because I know it will benefit my little business…

But I also just want to let it unfold without me forcing it to be a certain way.

Everything has to be balanced, we all have to wait our turn. There’s a lot of everything right now, so much so that it’s saturated. It’s great that everyone is pursuing their dream, but not so great when the market is flooded. Everybody is selling, everybody is hustling. I’m right there with all those people, but I’ve also learned to be still and have patience.

I read this proverb from a little booklet (Learn Spanish – another thing that I really want to learn) and it has a beautiful, religious but also borderline occult undertone to it:

EN LA TIERRA DE LOS CIEGOS EL TUERTO ES REY

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed is king.

Here’s my drawing for today which somehow evolved into a animated gif that I don’t mind at all; I hope to redraw it and post a better version. I’m pretty sure I’ve drawn VII of Cups before, digitally.

I was going to end the post here but another thought entered my mind: I think that’s why I like the Tarot and continue to work with it – it is everything. But when you see the bigger picture it is also a mandala, a wheel. And at any given moment, the wheel turns and we can be anything we want.

I am and have been living in the eternal now moment more these days. Life has been feeling more and more timeless the more I let go of certain concepts, like birthdays.

Like today is supposed to be my “40th” birthday but what does that really mean? It’s a construct, created by humans to measure time.

Anyways, before I ramble on about esoteric things – the whole purpose of this blog post was to post my first Celtic Cross reading I did for myself today. For the longest time, I feel as if I have been intimidated by this spread and was actually looking for someone to read my cards for me; but through the process of searching for someone I realized that I ‘could’ just read for myself (even though I still need help from a book). To anyone who is reading this, I’m not a professional tarot reader at all – I just read for myself.

So here is a photo of my reading using my favorite deck the HK Tarot with the card and card position meanings:

Position 1 / Heart of the Matter: IV of Pentacles

Position 2 / Opposing Factor: I The Magician

Position 3 / Root Cause or Unconscious Influence: XV The Devil

Position 4 / The Past: Page of Cups

Position 5 / Attitudes and Beliefs or Conscious Influence: IV The Emperor

Position 6 / Future or Approaching Influence: Ace of Wands

Position 7 / You as Your Present Self: II of Pentacles

Position 8 / You as Others See You: IX The Hermit

Position 9 / Guidance: III of Pentacles

Position 10 / Outcome: X of Pentacles

I’ve definitely been focused on business stuff lately so of course it makes total sense that a lot of pentacles are present in my reading. I’ve had money on my mind a lot – how to make it, how to keep it, how to make more of it in a way that’s enjoyable to me. The devil is ever present, reminding me of my strong attachments to material wealth (money).

I used Joan Bunning’s Learning The Tarot as my guide; it was one of the first tarot books I got for myself and seems to be the book I still go back to often.

Do you have a tarot book that you really like? I’d love to know what books you read.

Drawing from last week. As much as I enjoy posting crystals, I still very much enjoy drawing although it’s a lot more sporadic these days. It’s one of the few things that can still draw out the creativity in me, and it’s usually quite unexpected.

I can see the reflection of my inner world when I draw. And lately, it’s been roses and eyes; or should I say one specific eye – the third eye – the eye of psychic and intuitive vision.

Roses and eyes are occult symbols, and if you know me then you know I love all things occult.

I also feel as if I need more rose tattoos as I actually don’t have a whole lot.

Or am I just finally doing something right on this little blog of mine? I honestly don’t know. If you’re reading this, this is just a record of the personal and small business stuff that I want to share with the public. In other words, just a personal artsy fartsy, occult-y, small business blog.

I’m not sure why I’m getting regular visitors to this website now. Save the Savages was setup because I was transitioning from my graffiti artist identity to this. And I still don’t know what “this” is. I’ve stopped defining it. It’s just whatever I’m into.

Am I an artist? Yes. I don’t create art as much as I’d like to but I’m still an artist. Am I a designer? Yes, I design for work mostly and a little bit for my small business. Am I an online marketer, web designer, wife and cat mom? Yes, I am all of those things too. At this point I am multidimensional and always has been, as we all are really. Lots of things that I used to bitch about have come in handy for me as I apply certain techniques to the small business. I mean, how synchronistic is that?

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t limit yourself anymore. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do it. Ask yourself why, and keeping asking why. Keep asking yourself until you’re out of reasons or excuses. If you’re passionate about something, mix it with your other passions. Combine them and create a hybrid niche for yourself. Figure out a way to make money doing what you love.

You are God/Goddess afterall. You are the Universe experiencing itself.

I end up revisiting old graphic artworks because they still hold meaning for me. As a matter of fact, they become more relevant over time.

We’re all constantly creating or recreating our own reality, our own microcosms. Everyone’s living in their own universe, a world that they created.

Shermgrafik > Save the Savages > Metaphysical Vibes are my worlds.

The more I look at this, the more I realize that this is my Inner Temple. My inner world where all the things I love reside and collide to create something new. And do I love using bright colors in my design work. I love seeing those same colors on window splashes and handpainted lettering.

Don’t live life by some cheesy, stale quote. I get that quotes are really popular on the internet right now. I get a lot of followers who post nothing but quotes. Learn to exercise your brain – create your own quotes that are unique to you.

And today I feel bored. Bored with the work I’m doing, bored with the content. Bored with my body, I want to float away.

The moon has a way of drawing that out I think; making you think you’ve cleared and moved past a certain issue, yet it comes back somehow. It’s a vicious cycle, really. One minute I’m grateful for what I have, next minute I’m bored af and questioning myself yet again as to why I’m still here. It drives me nuts.

We are earthy/airy/fiery/watery/spiritual beings all at once and the moon pulls on the watery, emotional/feeling parts of ourselves and takes us through those cycles.

I dream about the crystal store and imagine myself working at home. That’s all I want really.

I don’t want to be an entrepreneur who works on their laptop at the beach. Although that sounds very nice and great if you are doing it but I don’t want to WORK at the beach. I want to ENJOY the beach. I want to be present – breathe deeply, smell the ocean air, run sand through my hands and feet.

I don’t have a whole lot to say these days. Selling crystals and stones along with marketing and advertising the small business I started in April 2017 is keeping me busy as well as learning and expanding my knowledge of the mineral kingdom. I also became attuned to level I Reiki very recently; I wanted to bless the stones that I’m selling with Reiki energy. So yeah, I am very grateful for everything that I am experiencing. I don’t know where all of this is taking me, I’m just here for the ride and following whatever interests me.

This year has been so different, doing the constant work on myself has been life changing.

I am turning 40 at the end of the year, technically I already am.😐 I don’t know wtf that means anymore as I don’t feel like it. It used to be a big deal for everyone, right? I guess for me, it’s not…at least not anymore.

If you are reading this, I hope that you are having a transformative year, I hope you are living your best life.🖤💜🖤

I’m not going to lie; there is a part of me that really wants my art to sell, but that is definitely not my sole purpose of creating. I make art in hopes that I can push my creative limits and because I just love it. It’s part of who I am, like I’m just wired for it. Even when I don’t create anything for months, I am still drawn to some kind of art or I surround myself with it.

So I’m posting this because this is an example of me pushing my creativity. My friend & local art dealer Alfie is currently curating a comic book themed art show and this is what I came up with.

The term ‘occult’ seems to have a bad rep (depending on how you perceive it I suppose) – do a quick Google image search and you’ll see mostly dark, visual interpretations of the word. Different people interpret it in so many ways and that’s fine, everybody’s entitled to their own creative vision. In movies however, the occult has often been mostly portrayed as something weird, dark and scary. Synonymous with black magic, it’s become a permanent image in people’s subconscious that it’s an evil thing that can call in demons, vampires, witches, ghosts and otherworldy beings that can harm you.