“You see persons and things not as they are
but as you are. ” Anthony de Mello

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Cointreauversational Questions and Answers....

I seem to be having a tough time pulling my writing thoughts together over the past couple of days.... short attention span....... other priorities ...... hovering in limbo waiting to hear some news related to my career (good news, but still waiting...) I suck at waiting. Just ask my family who make me wait for them at least once a day, and then stand back as my head explodes.

Tonight, Pip postedthese questions on his blog and they intrigued me. They stirred up a bunch of golden thought threads I may tug on beyond here, where I can delve a little deeper into the secret "whys" and "how comes." As much as I share quite a bit of myself on this site, it is only the tip of the iceberg, some of which is still hidden from me. Questions like these provoke and poke, twist and braid, tug and pull at the golden threads..... unravel too. I like that process.

1. What colour would describe you interior right now?

A dark shade of purple.....the colour you see long after the sun has slipped beyond sight. I love the idea of mixing red with blue. Vibrant heat with Azure cool. Purple is the colour of royal contradictions. Paradoxical purple.... moving into dark. 2. What colour would describe your exterior you right now?

A much lighter shade of purple ...... though if you looked at the back of my neck you'd see red. I was gardening all afternoon and was slapped by the sun. No pain....just heat and it feels good and healthy.

3. What feeling is predominant right now?My feelings seem to run the gamut these days. I blame whacky blasts of estrogen on top of a continued sense of being unsettled which makes me impatient, uncomfortable, doubtful on top of hopeful. But, if I had to pinpoint one predominant feeling right.at.this.moment as I reflect on the day?

Satisfied.....

4. Which human person is inside your head right now?

One of my oldest friends has been visiting me in my head tonight. Its a rare occasion when we have a chance to catch up, but its a rare day when I don't think of our friendship at least once. In fact, I am convinced that our thoughts are often simultaneous. This comforts me on many levels.

5. When was the last time you prayed?

I try to keep a prayer going all the time, and began to believe so after I read this quote by Frederick Buechner... "Everybody prays whether [you think] of it as praying or not. The odd silence you fall into when something very beautiful is happening or something very good or very bad. The ah-h-h-h! that sometimes floats up out of you as out of a Fourth of July crowd when the sky-rocket bursts over the water. The stammer of pain at somebody else's pain. The stammer of joy at somebody else's joy. Whatever words or sounds you use for sighing with over your own life. These are all prayers in their way. These are all spoken not just to yourself but to something even more familiar than yourself and even more strange than the world. "

When I really stopped and focused on a prayer was the other day. I was sitting in my van in the parking lot where I now work. I had been rushed and feeling discombobulated over all the changes in my work life. In order to calm myself, I sat quietly and repeated the words of St. Francis ..... as a way to seek some inner peace. It truly refreshed me.

6. When is the last time you wept?

Last night. I was exhausted and felt emotionally drained. It seemed like a cleansing. I slept soundly afterwards.

7. Describe the connection between 5 and 6?

Tears are never too far away from me, but I'm fine with them. They may make others feel uncomfortable, and its not that I don't care about making them uncomfortable, but I actually don't care if I make them uncomfortable. Sometimes tears hit me when I'm praying. This happens mostly when my cup is too full and they just spill out of that place. Tears come from a place of joy too, or when I let my guard down in order to feel deeply when something profound occurs. This happened yesterday morning when a colleague was describing an amazing encounter she had over the weekend. Her stories often leave me with a rush of tears because she has such a strong spiritual side to her and can encapsulate it in a story that always moves me. I am blessed to be working closely with her every single day.

10. Will you think of a question for me and send it?Yes..... and if you would like me to send you a question, leave me a comment and I will custom design one for you....!! And if you would like, you leave your answers to any of Pip's questions as a comment here. I would LOVE to read your thoughts....!

Pip? Here is your "cointreauversational" question my emerald friend..... :)Is there a book you've read which impacted your way of thinking and living to a point where you felt an internal transformational shift?

You asked me the last time I danced like no one was watching: At a Bruce concert amongst thousands of others dancing along with me. It was total abandonment and joy with no regard for how I looked to anyone else! Great time