What now?

Previous post:
Thank you! https://imgur.com/gallery/uNRfp
So, waiting for appointment now and it's good that it's finally going to happen, but it's getting worse.
There's only one person who can help me, but there's a nagging voice in my head telling me that she only pretends to care out of sympathy, but I love her and she says she loves me.
Anyway, I just don't know what to do anymore guys. I can't say it's depression because I know that requires a diagnosis, but I think that (mis)using the word to describe my head might be the only way to get people to notice and help me.
I'm just so so tired of it all.