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The Cleveland Browns Are the Betting Favorites for Just the Second Time in the Last 35 Games

The Cleveland Browns are bad. I don’t care what kinda of bump they got in the public’s eye after their mediocre season of Hard Knocks this preseason. Anybody who knows football knows that Cleveland doesn’t have what it takes to be a competitive football team. They don’t have the talent, they don’t have the coaching and they sure as hell don’t have a winning culture. They have coaches going at each other’s necks over who will or won’t be practicing. They have the island of misfit toys filling the meeting rooms across all positions. I’ll still never understand what in the hell Jarvis Landry was thinking when he signed a contract extension after being traded to Cleveland. LSU education for ya. Money talks I guess, even if it means you’re stuck living in a city that is most famously known for it’s river that caught on fire and being the taint stuck between the dickheads in Detroit and assholes in Pittsburgh.

At least they have Josh Gordon, an oasis of talent in the Desert of Suck. Oh wait, no they don’t. They finally decided to cut bait with the talented WR because he was 10 minutes late to the facility with a mysterious hamstring injury that miraculously healed when it was time to report to his new team in Foxborough.

Somehow, despite everything I just laid out above, the Cleveland Browns are something that they have only been twice in the previous 35 games. They’re the betting favorites.

How stupid does Vegas think we are? I’m not buying into this Week 3 hype. Not one bit. Are you really telling me that the Cleveland Browns, THE CLEVELAND BROWNS, are three-point favorites? I don’t care if they’re playing this game in Bernie Kosar’s back yard, there’s no home field advantage that makes Cleveland that much better than the New York Jets. I don’t even think the Jets are good, that’s just how low I think of the Cleveland Browns. Every Thursday night game has the potential to be an absolute shit show. I don’t have the stats on hand to back this up, and I don’t feel like doing the research but I feel like we get a lot of 13-9 and 17-13 type of games on Thursdays. I could be wrong, but not everyone in the NFL is the Dalton-Green connection we saw showcased last Thursday.

Even if this is a close, low-scoring game, I can’t see the Browns winning by more than three points. If they do, good for them. But they wont. They’re the Cleveland Browns. For everyone that loses money on the Browns this week, send an invoice to HBO for their brilliant work in fooling the world into thinking the Browns might be a competent, competitive franchise. For everyone who wins money on the Jets, thank your lucky stars a bunch of gullible rubes figured out how to put their credit card info into Bovada’s system to help pay for your winning ticket.

I’m really gonna regret this when the Browns inevitably beat the Bengals later this season.