Jersey Shore will just keep going

Ignoring a significant decrease in ratings and an equally significant increase in malaise, MTV has confirmed a sixth season for Jersey Shore will begin shooting this long, endless summer, promising to cure America’s strange addiction to the show much like rehabbing alcoholics are forced to live in a room with their own vodka vomit until they admit they’re ready to change. The next pane of the hall of mirror series—in which people pretending to be from New Jersey pretend not to be people who are famous for pretending to be people pretending to be from New Jersey—will be installed alongside a previously announced show starring Pauly D, another spinoff with Snooki and JWOWW, and the increasingly refracted lens required to view it all as any sort of reality-based entertainment. “Clearly, the network is banking on the viewer interest in how it will handle Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s pregnancy and engagement,” The Hollywood Reporter adds with typical deadpan humor. Reached for comment, that viewer elaborated, “I hope it’s with dignity.”