1. Hot Hot Hot

So I was looking through craigslist job postings and I came across an ad for bikini barista. I do not understand. Why does anyone need bikinis with their coffee? And what woman would want to be nearly nude serving scalding hot beverages every day? Sounds like disaster waiting to happen. Do dudes really need boobs so early in the morning? Want a boner on your way to work? Sure, why not, boners go great with hazelnut lattes. I’m going to open a bar where guys have to stir ladies drinks with their dicks (with condoms on of course) because you know, like, it would be a huge success. Ugh. Wait. Not.

2. Zzzzzz

Speaking of snakes. Last night I had another weird dream. This time a certain ex “accidentally” let this incredibly huge snake out of its cage and the snake attempted to attack me with its fanged mouth. I caught said snake and held it by its head so it couldn’t poison me, but it kept writhing and spazing and squirming. The craziest thing was that it was rainbow colored and also like a hybrid cobra/viper because along with trying to bite me it also attempt to wrap its body around my arm. The ex just kept running around trying to find something to kill it with, he never found anything, then I woke up. (So many things to analyze here!)

3. Men Suck but it’s because of Women, duh

A facebook friend posted this article, 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women. Most of it I agreed with, but by the end I felt that the entire thesis was: men hate women because women actually have more power than men because men can only think about sex. And that’s why men do EVERYTHING because they’re trying to impress women and get laid. I feel that the article, in a way, was trying to make men’s domination excusable. And I can’t agree with that. I also don’t believe all that men think about is sex and everything they do– learn guitar, become CEOs, play sports, etc– is related entirely to impressing the opposite sex. That makes men seem to lack complexity and I don’t that that’s a fair interpretation. Sure, the media/society helps constructs certain ideals and social behaviors, but that same media is generally run by men, so it’s really their fault these ideas are still so entrenched in our society. Perhaps it’s not about impressing women so much as staying in power and allowing women to stay sex object trophies. Why anyone would want that, I have no idea.

4. Too Shy or Maybe I’m Not Fly

It’s sort of a weird transition because it actually goes against everything that article was about, but I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now. In truth, I’ve been analyzing it since becoming newly again single after 5.5 years. Perhaps I’m going to the wrong places and meeting the wrong dudes but I feel every guy I’ve met I’ve had to initiate everything: conversation, phone number, dates, sexy time etc. Maybe it does relate to the #1 in the article when it talks about guys feeling that they’re told that they’re “owed a hot girl.” Everyone wants everyone to do all of the work; to be the assertor, to shower the other with compliments and prove that the other is desirable. This is a huge problem. Maybe our generation was raised with too much entitlement? But I’m finding it tiring to be the one who puts effort into asserting my likeness for another with very little reciprocation. Shared effort would be much appreciated. I don’t know, maybe it’s just that I’m not like-able enough.

(I probably just need this hat)

5. Oh, Oh, She’s Crafty

Having a job is weird. When I have days off now a part of me still feels guilty for not doing much, even though I’m at least now making a little bit of money.

When I have a day off I have to work at being content with how I spend that time and not stress that I didn’t get something done.

Perhaps this is a common problem? Many of us want to accomplish so many different things that when they’re not done by a certain day we feel guilty about it, which in turn can take even longer to get done because we allow the stress to take more of our time than it should. I don’t know. It’s just a theory. I have a billion different things I’m working on right now, but I’m just going to work on them as I feel like it and when they’re complete, they’re complete.