Category Archives: Movies

So last week I introduced you to the Hateful Eight’s primary cast. the actual eight characters in the title. I may have even been a little overzealous about the schmoozing I was doing on every character except Madsen’s Joe Gage (The more I think about Joe Gage, the more preposterous his presence feels). I may have even sounded a bit like Tarantino’s directing abilities exceed all of the greatest directors. If I did, well, guess what? I’M NOT DONE! BAD WORDS AHEAD.

Before you read ahead thinking I am an objective, unbiased and professional movie critic, let’s just clear the air. I love Quentin Tarantino Films. I love his acting roles. I love his uncanny ability to write dialogue that is just as hard hitting, crude, and violent as the scenes he films. I love the way he can turn into a black guy when talking to black folks and a white guy when talking to white folks. All of his movies are winners. I own them, I watch them, I still talk about them in movie discussions. All of this should allude to the fact that I am about kiss this movie’s ass. Which should immediately lead you to the nearest theater to catch it before it heads to DVD.

I’m not big on chick flicks. I hate romance movies and romantic comedies get on my nerves. However, when it comes to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, the idea of the stereotypical groanfest caused from estrogen overflow is thrown out of the window and cuts to the chase: It’s either going to be super funny, or really lame. I went to this movie thinking it was another flick, but when I saw that other flick (It has Rebel Wilson and some skinny chick in it) as a trailer, I was immediately terrified. What have I walked in to? I knew nothing about Sisters, but when I saw the names attached, I was generally relieved. I was not disappointed, I mean I gave it a perfect 5/7.

I started writing a “short review” of Star Wars: The Force Awakensa few days ago and it started approaching 7,000 words and I decided to cut some things out and to split it into separate blog entries. I enjoyed the film immensely and just saying it was a 10 out of 10 is too simple to justify how good it is.

This entry is less of a critical analysis and more of a “OMGAWD I LURVES THESE PARTS THE BEST!”

Well, the movie of the century (so far) has been released. The StarWars franchise has successfully secured it’s top spot in current popular culture once again via a brand new feature film and it has made its mark as the fastest film to reach $1 billion in the box office, the highest grossing opening weekend box office, and will likely top out to be the highest grossing film ever. J.J. Abrams attacked this project expertly and did a thorough job of creating galaxies, planets and landscapes that kept the Star Wars feel.

If you don’t do theaters because of the myriad of great excuses, the primary one being the second mortgage you have to take to pay for it, do yourself a favor now. Go to your local theater and see this masterpiece. No, it’s not perfect but god damn is it fun and exciting. If you aren’t afraid of spoilers and whatnot, continue reading. I am about to start babbling about this movie and because I did not go to college to learn how to expertly write movie reviews, it is probably going to be really hard to read. Maybe not though.

Okay, let’s get two things out of the way. I hate romance/love movies and the girl doesn’t die. This article will be written in quite a biased tone and if you happen to love this movie, you may want to move along. There is nothing here for you. With those things being said, let’s just get on with it.

At the time of this writing there are four Transformers films. The first three films are its own trilogy and I suppose Michael Bay is working on a new trilogy with Marky Mark. Each film has a nice list of Autobots and Decepticons present, along with many influences from human and nonhuman characters. The next few movie related posts will focus around the robots in disguise, and part of these posts will be an homage to their origins.

Lining up the original characters from the older generation of Transformers with the current roster is tough work indeed, simply because they look and act so differently now. In fact, some of the characters just borrow names, and some characters, while the same as their older counterparts, have new names! On this page you will see the original Autobots and their newer versions, along with a quick paragraph about them.

There is a book, it is not just any book, but an evil book. An evil book that many a middle aged women have enjoyed since the summer of 2011. I read this book, at least, I read at it. I read it because it was erotic literature that was supposed to be extreme and taboo. Being experience with some very crude erotic fiction found online, I decided I would try this novel out and see what all the fuss is about. 150 pages later, I put the book down and decided that a 15 year old Twilight fanatic wrote this book. Regardless, it is a huge hit amongst its audience, which is great for bored housewives with no Internet connection.

Well, a short film, on YouTube, but I still count it as a movie I suppose. We will be actually shooting my scene, along with Mike’s and his daughter’s (The day of filming will actually have taken place on Saturday, July 12). The whole idea behind this film is straight from a friend of mine named Patrick.

I met Patrick when I was a young man who first stepped into his first real job at the humble guild or gastrointestinal goodness that is Burger King. Patrick was a porter there, and he was a bit of a strange duck with his pink hair and hippy talk. We parted ways a long time back, he went to the world of cinema, I became an employee of Holsum Bakeries, the fine corporation responsible for almost ridding the world of Twinkies due to poor management. That’s a bit off topic, however.

Patrick introduced the Facebook world to Porch Swing Productions, his production studio for his short film projects, not too long ago. After speaking with Patrick, I decided that it would be an awesome experience to share with the Just Chill Here audience. Below, you will read about an experience that I have never experienced, and thanks to my old buddy, I got to act and be a part of something that may actually go viral. I also told Patrick that I would not expect payment, but I was going to milk him for exposure to this site. I’m dirty like that.

After last week’s episode I was hoping that this one would keep me entertained and excited. Honestly, I kept nodding off. I watched this episode twice. Once at 3:00 AM, and it put me to sleep, and once at 12:00 PM, and I still found myself snoozing. I am a little more intrigued about the storyline of Eric, but that’s about it. If you choose to read the review of this episode of True Bloodthere will be spoilers ahead.