“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy

We all want to see change in the world, especially at Christmas, but deep down we all know that if we want to change OUR world it has to start with us, - our home, our work place and our own persona.

And remember we are working towards giving the best of “ourselves” as a gift for those we care about. Sound self- absorbed? Not when we consider this. - How we act towards those we live and work with can be very powerful.

Hopefully we’ve all been continuing our spring cleaning, de-cluttering and energizing - getting our homes, businesses and selves, in as good order as we can. Hopefully this exercise has also enabled you to bond as a family, focusing on team work and respecting and valuing one another.

So let’s look at our goal again; - “To be the best we can be for Christmas” To be more thoughtful, cheerful, sharing, caring, helpful to all we come in contact with. It is alot easier to be all of the above when we feel good about ourselves, - thus the spring cleaning, organising and energizing is well worth the effort, as it all helps us to be Happier Healthier and Stronger.

How did you go with iKi SRL @ Home? Have you signed up yet? Remember it is a great way to energise as a family whilst accessing valuable behaviour strategies and goals that benefit the whole family and help keep harmony and peace.. which I am sure you will agree we could do with some more of around here lately! So, if you haven’t signed up yet, that’s ok – click here to sign up now. Get it organised so you can implement over the holiday break and kick start the new year feeling calm and confident as a family.

What have we done so far to set up a great holiday period and what do we need to do to ensure it actually happens? This afternoon finish what we need to do to close off the week, then check that we are organized for next week. Next, note the things we HAVE to do on the weekend and what we WANT to get done. Remember, there are some things we need to do, - to maintain our livelihoods, families, health and so on, and there are things we want to do. These can be almost as important, such as social, community and sporting events, hobbies, family fun. Lets’ make sure there is a bit of both (needs and wants) this weekend.

Real pleasure comes from things we work for, and real peace of mind comes from knowing that we are giving attention to all of the important areas in our lives. And remember that we are human so let’s be fair to ourselves about what is achievable- about what actually is our "best".

The past few years have been hard for many of us. For myself, as well as many friends and acquaintances, it has been the most challenging period of our lives and there were times we struggled to maintain faith in the future. But when we look around we see that we have many blessings. We're still standing people. And where there's life there's hope.

So now let’s continue to take the steps to make this Christmas truly a season of goodwill.
This weekend I'll be wining and dining my hubby for his birthday, going for a family bike ride and doing some organising in readiness for the opening of ‘iKi Central’ next Wednesday 9th December. If you are in Dubbo – why not pop in and say hi and see what we have in store for our community next year. Click here to download the official invitation.

Hope to see some of you there - to the rest of you – have an awesome week!

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Keep it simple, stupid! I was always offended by this saying growing up, because it didn’t sit naturally with my ‘perfectionist’ ‘overachieving’ personality, not to mention being called STUPID!

But as I have grown older and wiser, and certainly since becoming a mum, I am learning why this little saying can make our lives, ironically, so much simpler! Especially when it comes to how we communicate with our children.

In the heat of the moment, when you are ‘liaising’ with your children about the events that have just occurred we can easily run off on a tangent, - words, emotions and somewhat aggressive questions that aren’t meant to be answered, like “What were you thinking? Don’t you ever listen to me? “What do you think your father will think about this?”.

By now, your child has either tuned out completely and is thinking about butterflies or lollipops or the booger stuck up their nose that’s been bugging them… or they are looking at you wondering what they have done so wrong that has caused you to go “crazy”.

A far more effective course of action is to address the problem, head on, using simple, consistent language. For example, your son is playing inside with a ball and it breaks your favourite reading lamp – Move towards your child slowly and with a calm and clear voice say

“Ok, Johnny, stop and look at me…(wait until they are looking at you) ..”good, your eyes show me that you are listening. What you have done was very unsafe, you have broken the lamp, and you could have hurt somebody or yourself. You were also not playing by the rules. Where do we play with the ball?”
Johnny answers “Outside”
“That is correct, and what happens when we don’t play by the rules”
Johnny answers “We have to move away, or there are consequences”.
“That is right, now the consequence is that I am going to put the ball away now and will need to move away and find something else to do, and you are also going to get a warning on your score board. Let’s go and put that on there now, together, then you can help me tidy up this mess”.

There is no mention of anyone being “naughty”, we simply address the poor behaviour choice and highlight the consequence of the child’s actions. The child is not being yelled at, you are not getting flustered, but are remaining calm and confident in your disciplinary action and the issue is quickly addressed.

Your child is secure in the fact that you as their parent have helped them see why you had the original rule of not playing with the ball inside and that when they push a boundary, there is a consequence, everytime. This is a life skill that each child needs to learn if they are going to succeed in life.