Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Nothing beats a good ballpark promotion. The Kansas City Royals have come up with something new, ‘Pine Tar Day.’ Fans will receive a mini-George Brett pine tar bat to commemorate his 1983 controversial home run at Yankee Stadium.

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Yes, he broke the rules, but I don't consider it cheating if it doesn't add a competitive advantage. And I highly anticipate the study that will show that sticky pine tar can cause the ball to go farther.

The man cheated. And when he got caught, he threw a hissy fit like a child.

He broke a (trivial) rule. Not all rule breaking is cheating. The reason for the rule was to keep the balls clean, not because a batter gains any advantage. He was sloppy with the pine tar, and the punishment should have been to throw the bat out. Disallowing a HR was way overkill. Like going to jail for a broken taillight.

This promotion is bizarre if by bizarre you mean AWESOME! Can anyone in KC hook me up? I'll pay the shipping! I think more teams should do this. The A's should give away a rubber Billy Martin doll that, when you squeeze it, the eyed bulge and all the neck veins protrude. Or they can give away a vintage Dwayne Murphy hat that won't stay on your head unless you're perfectly still. The Angels can give away frisbees in the shape of tortillas. The Cubs can give away big, dorky radio headsets. I'm note even kidding here. Instead of bobbleheads teams can get creative with their histories!

This promotion is bizarre if by bizarre you mean AWESOME! Can anyone in KC hook me up? I'll pay the shipping! I think more teams should do this. The A's should give away a rubber Billy Martin doll that, when you squeeze it, the eyed bulge and all the neck veins protrude. Or they can give away a vintage Dwayne Murphy hat that won't stay on your head unless you're perfectly still. The Angels can give away frisbees in the shape of tortillas. The Cubs can give away big, dorky radio headsets. I'm note even kidding here. Instead of bobbleheads teams can get creative with their histories!

Seriously, if you can't have a little fun 30 years after the fact with this one you are just way too serious. Brett friggen lost his mind in truly impressive fashion.

The Dodgers can give away Google Boy figures. The Mariners can give out lesbian porn. The Padres can let each fan announce how terrible the team is over the PA system. The Cardinals can give away a Gary Templeton action figure with kung fu grip and movable middle fingers.

This is phenomenal. "Ricky Vaughn Night" would be absolutely sensational.

I think you have to plant the seeds in a very subversive fashion. Indians broadcasts should start slipping names like "R. Dorn" and "P. Cerrano" into the franchise leaderboard lists that pop up as graphics from time to time. Not too close to the top, but still on the list.

A few weeks later you can let the color guy say wistful things when those lists come up, like, "man, Dorn really could pick it, couldn't he partner?"

The lesson of George Brett is, if you're going to do something embarrassing that will be remembered for the rest of your life, be sure and do it mere instants after doing something stupendously awesome that will always get mentioned as the lead in.

The lesson of George Brett is, if you're going to do something embarrassing that will be remembered for the rest of your life, be sure and do it mere instants after doing something stupendously awesome that will always get mentioned as the lead in.

Every year on July 20th the Braves should give one lucky fan the opportunity to set fire to the press box.

One unlucky fan gets to drive around 285 and miss the game.

I think you have to plant the seeds in a very subversive fashion. Indians broadcasts should start slipping names like "R. Dorn" and "P. Cerrano" into the franchise leaderboard lists that pop up as graphics from time to time. Not too close to the top, but still on the list.

Agreed, this is brilliant. Reference the Indians rookie "records" for strikeouts and stolen bases.

Schedule the Dodgers to play the Cubs on May 14th next year (or 2018), with the 1st 10,000 fans given Tommy Lasorda's cell phone number so they can ask him for his opinion of Dave Kingman's performance.

This promotion is bizarre if by bizarre you mean AWESOME! Can anyone in KC hook me up? I'll pay the shipping! I think more teams should do this. The A's should give away a rubber Billy Martin doll that, when you squeeze it, the eyed bulge and all the neck veins protrude. Or they can give away a vintage Dwayne Murphy hat that won't stay on your head unless you're perfectly still. The Angels can give away frisbees in the shape of tortillas. The Cubs can give away big, dorky radio headsets. I'm note even kidding here. Instead of bobbleheads teams can get creative with their histories!

Last year the Twins gave away a figurine of Kent Hrbek "tagging" Ron Gant out.

If Dick Allen threw a fit like that, there is this a revered incident? What about AJ Pyserneski? I am not sure how Brett gets a pass for the abhorrent reaction (not the actual cheating)

Because Billy Martin knew about it and knew he could get Brett ejected for violating an archaic rule whose sole purpose was to lower the cost of new balls for owners in the early 20th century and waited until a moment of maximum benefit.

Schedule the Dodgers to play the Cubs on May 14th next year (or 2018), with the 1st 10,000 fans given Tommy Lasorda's cell phone number so they can ask him for his opinion of Dave Kingman's performance.

Then the next night, free rat-in-box if you dress like a member of the media night.