How Can I Avoid Falling Into The Friends Zone?

Great question. When you first meet someone, you are constantly scanning and checking--consciously or subconsciously--and asking yourself,"How am I doing?"

You show up to the bar, club or whatever venue well groomed, smelling clean, with your best pitch ready to throw out to all those lucky ladies. You are spinning your best rap and feeling the moment with her when she suddenly says those kiss of death words, "I just want to be friends," or "I'm kind of seeing someone right now.

"You have now fallen into the Friends zone.Here's the deal, guys: You should never be thought of as "boring" or "too nice" or "as just a friend".

If you are, it is because you did not build VALUE into your spiel and women...great organizers that we are...immediately plop you into the friends box.How can you avoid this?

First: Come across as fun and playful.

Second: Take the lead and make sure everyone is having a good time.If she is with a girlfriend or two, make eye contact and speak with each of them. If you don't the ones who are left out will start looking around, turn their backs, start to fidget and then they will all bail on you.

Three: Play a game with her. If you are at a bar and drinking, tell her you bet she's had too much to drink and tell her you have a sobriety test to give her. Tell her if she passes the test, she can buy you a drink.

Hold your hand out with the palm facing up and say, "Go like this", then place your hand, palm down, just over the top of hers and tell her to slap your hand before you can take it away. If she is giggling and seems to be enjoying it, then reverse the process.

By being gentle and playful, you are not being threatening. since you didn't just say to her, "Let's play hand tag" you didn't give her a chance to say, "No."

You are taking simple, small steps.Now, it is a well known fact that women are attention whores. That's right. We like attention and when we don't get attention, we start competing for it. So if you are successful at this maneuver, you have paid some attention to us and we like that. But if you pay attention to us and then pull away a little bit, we wonder what happened that made us lose our grip on you.

So, if you just slightly, and I mean very slightly, pull away while we are all laughing and having fun with the hand tag game, watch as we move forward toward you, or watch us start playing with our hair, fidgeting or touching you.So then you say,"Who's next? Who wants to buy me a drink next?" And wink and laugh. When the next girl in the group says,"Me!" playfully say, "I dunno. You look pretty drunk to me. Don't know if you can tag my hand," implying the challenge. Watch how fast she grabs your hand to play!