Why You Shouldn’t Follow Justin Bieber’s Restroom Hygiene Advice

Did you watch Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central Roast last night? No? If not, you missed a lot of jokes about ISIS and Ellen DeGeneres’ vagina. Wow, what was that about? You may have also heard the roastmaster, Kevin Hart, mention that Bieber is on the cover of Men’s Health. It's true. Bieber is indeed our April cover guy. If you’re just hearing about it now and you're like, “What the hell is that about?”, allow us to explain.

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You should also check out the April issue—available everywhere magazines are sold—and find out for yourself why we thought the Biebs, a man who Ron Burgundy reminded us last night “sings songs for 9-year-olds, and cuts his hair like a gay figure skater,” deserved to be on our cover. For our profile, we definitely learned some Surprising Things About Bieber, things that we won’t ever be able to unknow.

Like this chestnut: “You wanna know what I do?” he told us. “I wash my hands before I pee.”

We’re sorry, what?

He went on to explain: “I feel like my penis is more clean than my fingers.”

Far be it from us to question the cleanliness of his penis, but a statement like that just can’t be left un-fact checked.

Let's start with the hand-washing part. “There is a terrible lack of basic knowledge and understanding here,” says Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D., the co-director of the Simmons College Center for Hygiene and Health. “The purpose of hand washing after going to the toilet is to remove any fecal pathogens that might have contaminated the hands following defecation and wiping. The hands can also be contaminated by touching toilet surfaces like flush handles and door handles. Hands are super transmitters of germs to and from these surfaces.”

We have to at least give props to the Biebs for washing his hands at all. According to a Michigan State University study, 10 percent of people who use public restrooms don’t bother washing their hands either pre- or post-visit, and 33 percent who do aren't using soap. (Find out if you've been Washing Your Hands All Wrong.) At least he’s making the effort, right?

Lance B. Price, Ph.D., a professor at the Milken Institute School of Public Health, applauds the effort but isn’t so sure about the order. “It depends on what you’ve been doing with your hands,” he says. “If you’ve just made a ground turkey burger or been picking up dog poop with an old grocery bag, then yes, definitely wash before handling your penis. If you’ve just been working at your computer, then probably not.”

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Dr. Scott encourages any application of soap and water on your hands when using a restroom, but doesn’t think the pre-urinal wash should be the only one. “If someone chooses to wash their hands on their way in to use the bathroom as well as on their way out, then this is a commendable hand hygiene practice and they are doing us all a favor by cutting down on the transmission of potential pathogens via the hands and contact surfaces,” she says. “There is no such thing as too much hand washing.”

Then there’s the other, perhaps more troubling part of Justin's claim. We need to talk about his allegedly super-clean penis. (Hey, he’s the one who brought it up!)

When we shared Bieber's hypothesis with Dr. Price, his first reaction was “it just sounds like a ploy for fellatio to me.”

Jokes aside, Price knows a thing or two about penises, and just how clean or unclean they really are. In 2010, he collaborated with Dr. Cindy Liu, a research pathologist at Johns Hopkins Medicine, on a study examining the anaerobic bacteria that colonizes on a human male penis before and after circumcision.

According to their findings, a penis with intact foreskin has about 42 unique kinds of bacteria, including scary-sounding things like Pseudomonadaceae and Oxalobactericeae. We’re not talking about Ron Jeremy’s penis, either. This is your average human schlong, regardless of sexual history. There’s more bacteria than the number of years Bieber has been alive. The amount of bacteria drops by about 33.3% after circumcision.

Of course, we can't really relate any of this to Bieber without knowing if he's circumcised, and we’re not about to ask. Honestly, we don’t even feel like Googling it. Some things are better left a mystery.

Dr. Price is also reluctant to make any assumptions about Bieber’s penis. “If I were going to speculate on the relative cleanliness of Justin’s penis and hands, I’d need to know a lot more about his personal life and hygiene,” says Price. “Do you know if Justin is circumcised? Does he engage in unprotected anal sex as the penetrator? Does he consistently use a condom when engaging in any kind of sex? How often does he wash his hands? Does he ever handle raw meat?”

Our profile with Justin Bieber doesn't mention any of these things. (How did we forget to ask him about anal sex and raw meat?) But it's not too late to get answers. “Dr. Liu and I are actually capable of determining the quantity and types of bacteria on Justin’s fingers and penis if he would let us collect swabs,” Dr. Price suggested. “Should we ask?”

Justin, if you’re reading, the ball is now in your court. With your help, we can settle this once and for all.

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