The guy who left me at my junior prom because his girlfriend said he had to be home by 10:30?

The guy I dated for 2 months who told me over beers that he couldn't see me anymore because, due to his profession, he could only "afford to be seen with gorgeous women"? Did I mention that he himself resembled a troll of some type?

The guy who showed up TWO DAYS LATE to take me out for dinner for my 24th birthday, who went on to explain that he was late because he'd been high on cocaine and couldn't remember what day it was?

Go on...

I was asked to my junior prom by this guy a week before the prom itself. He didn't even go to my school - he went to a nearby high school. I had met him through a couple of mutual friends. I thought he was genuinely interested in going to the prom with me. My mom and I hurriedly shopped for a dress, but by then the pickings were slim. The only dress we could find in my size was a white, high-necked Edwardian-looking thing - not my taste or style at all. Still, beggars can't be choosers, so we bought it.

My date picked me up for the prom wearing a regular gray suit. No tux. I wasn't too worried, even though all the other guys would be wearing tuxes; just figured money was too tight to rent the tux after all. I had paid for the prom tickets, though, so I did expect dinner. Which I got. At McDonald's.

The prom was held at a fancy hotel in downtown Minneapolis. We got there, walked around for a few minutes, and then he latched onto some other friends of his and talked to them for the duration of the time we were there, while I trailed around behind, carrying his suit jacket. We didn't dance a single dance. At 10:00 he turned to me and told me he was leaving, and that if I wanted to stay, I could catch a ride home from one of our mutual friends and her date. I was shocked and unprepared for this. He told me that his girlfriend had said he could come to the prom with me, but only if he was home to call her by 10:30. I did not previously know he had a girlfriend. I found out later that he had only asked me to my prom because he wanted to see how many different schools' proms he could attend in a single year. If he had told me this in advance and asked me to prom as friends and at least shared expenses (like, say, we each paid for our own ticket), I would have been fine with that. He didn't do that, he deceived me, and it really hurt my feelings.

The good news is that the next year, when I was a senior, I had a boyfriend I really liked who invited me to the prom two months in advance; he asked by draping a fancy white scarf around the doorknob at my house with a note pinned to it requesting that I go to the prom with him. He rented a tux. He took me to a lovely dinner at the now-defunct Eddie Webster's restaurant on the 494 strip - one of my favorite places. And, interestingly, he stayed with me the whole time! We went to an after-party at his sister's place to watch movies with a bunch of other people. The bad part? My mother wouldn't let me buy a new dress, telling me I had a "perfectly good dress" in my closet that I'd only worn once. So if the jerk hadn't asked me to prom my junior year, I wouldn't have gotten that awful dress, and I could have had a dress I really liked for my senior prom! (Mom admitted years later that she probably should have gone ahead and helped me get a new one for senior year. Oh well.)

eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.

Now see??? This is MY point and one that I'm happy to make to BF every time we end telling that story! He was clearly not understanding that I didn't ask these people to be jerks. I'm glad that someone else sees that too.

I was wondering that myself. How is that your fault? I wanted to be in line behind Petticoats and also slap everyone in that story except for you.

eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.

Now see??? This is MY point and one that I'm happy to make to BF every time we end telling that story! He was clearly not understanding that I didn't ask these people to be jerks. I'm glad that someone else sees that too.

I was wondering that myself. How is that your fault? I wanted to be in line behind Petticoats and also slap everyone in that story except for you.

POD. Can I be in line behind you? And can I wear a nice leather glove so my hand doesn't hurt as much when I've completed the slapping?

My freshman year in college, there was a cute guy named Steve in my dorm. Really nice guy, fun to talk to. One night, he asked if I'd like to go out and look at the stars. He brought a fluffy blanket. I brought... my star charts and a red flashlight.

I later commented to my roommate that it was very odd- he couldn't even find the major constellations. I strongly suspect that Steve and I were both equally disappointed in the evening, but in different ways.

LOL! That's one of the cutest stories about college dating that I've ever heard!!

I'm an astronomy wonk, and I told Mr. Sirius not to take me out under the stars to romance me, or I'd get to stargazing and forget he was there.

Going out to dinner with my (now-ex) fiance (the alcoholic, violent one).

He'd demanded that I "dress up so you don't look like a ****ing boy for once", so I'd made an effort, and actually put on a little black dress. I don't do dresses, generally, but I loved that little black dress. It was a cheap New Look one, and it was perfect for me: sensible length, simple design, nothing fancy. It also had a zip at the front, running all the way from the neck to hem.

We go to the restaurant. Ex quickly gets drunk, as per usual. By the end of the main course, he is extremely drunk. He reaches over, grabs the dress's zip at my neck, and pulls it all the way down to the hem, sending the dress front flying open into two halves, and exposing my bra, my knickers, and all of me in between, to the entire restaurant (including one very startled waiter rounding the corner at precisely the wrong moment).

I have rarely felt so humiliated before or since.

In a doomed attempt to salvage my few remaining shreds of dignity, I hold the dress front together with my hands, charge off to the loos, shove the first cubicle door I see, and almost fall on top of a small (and surprised) OAP sitting on the throne who'd evidently neglected to lock herself in. Wonderful: not only am I an unwitting flasher, I'm very nearly an inadvertent pensioner-squisher, too.

When I finally manage to make my way back to the table - all other diners and the waiting staff studiously avoiding staring at me - Ex is still laughing. He found it hilarious. And continued to find it hilarious for years afterwards.

Shortly after I finished ordering dinner on a first date, my date's whole demeanor suddenly changed from nice and talkative to sullen and silent. I asked him what was wrong several times since I couldn't think of a thing in the conversation that would have upset him. He refused to answer and stopped looking at me; just ate the chips and salsa. I have a pretty good spine so the next time the waitress walked past, I told her to change our order to go and bring the check please. I had every intention of getting my dinner, paying my half and calling a cab (unfortunately I let him pick me up at my apartment — never again on a first date). He suddenly grinned and told me he was just "testing me" to see how I would react and went back to being nice and talkative.

Perhaps he was "testing" to see if you would respond to the silent treatment with "Why aren't you talking? What's wrong? Did I do something? Are you mad at me? If I did something to upset you, I'm really sorry. Please talk to me!" Good for you for not putting up with his b.s. Although, since he asked you out again, it seems that he wanted you to call his bluff. But why would he think that a woman that wouldn't put up with the silent treatment would put up with being "tested" like that? His behaviour is just inexplicable

Exactly, I have no idea what he was "testing" for, it was just bizarre. Maybe he wanted to see if I would fly off the handle screaming, cry, beg for forgiveness??? I know who did failed the test. Up until then I had thought he was nice and I would have probably gone out with him again. He showed himself to be immature and manipulative — FAIL.

Logged

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." — Douglas Adams

I had a date walk out on me mid-movie. It was our first date, and it had become pretty clear during dinner that we weren't that compatible. But with a half-hour left of the movie, she said "You know, this movie really isn't doing anything for me. I'll call you later."

The movie was Persuasion. It wasn't like it was an action or horror flick; it was just very slow-moving. It really hurt that she wouldn't even finish the movie to be polite - I just wasn't worth her time.

Going out to dinner with my (now-ex) fiance (the alcoholic, violent one).

<snip>

I have now found another candidate for slapping. What an absolutely hateful thing to do.

The prom stories remind me of a sad story of my mom's. She had a kind of understanding with a platonic male friend (PMF) that they would go to prom together. Her mom, who was a wicked seamstress, cut out a dress for her and started to sew it. But as time grew near, PMF didn't bring up the prom or invite mom, so she concluded that they weren't going to go together after all. She told her mom this, and grandmom stopped work on the dress-in-progress.

The day of the prom, at some school function where families were gathered, PMF's father said jovially to my mom, "So, are you ready for the prom tonight?" Mom was crushed that she couldn't go, because she didn't have a dress to wear. (I suspect that she wouldn't have been able to afford a store-bought one.)

For my part, I had a PMF invite me, and then start making backing-out noises: Uh, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the car... wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the night off from work, etc.... I took the hint and told him I'd make other arrangements. Naturally he showed up with another girl. But I didn't care, because I had my prom fallback date: the son of family friends, a devastatingly handsome college man who even owned his own tux, who treated me to a fancy dinner, and was great company all night until he dropped me off safely at home. (A few years later he came out as g@y, but since I didn't consider the prom an opportunity for scrabble, the issue never arose. I still have fond memories of our prom dates--yes, both junior and senior.)

Our moms set us up. I wasn't interested but my mom INSISTED. The only thing we had in common is that we both have Asperger's, which meant neither of us could think of anything to say to the other. The car ride was literally spent in total silence.

We went to see Watchmen. I spent the whole movie desperately trying not to laugh at the over-the-top sex scenes and the ever-present blue penis. Then he drove me home, and, again, total silence. My mom never gets to set me up again, and in fact if she suggests someone I immediately write them off.

For some reason, EHarmony thinks I am only compatible with computer programmers. I have not, to this date, found this to be true.

One thing I always made clear before going out for a first date was that I was a Big Girl. I was overwieght. Not just a few pounds heavy - a few dozen pounds heavy, so if they weren't into that they should move one. My picture was also a full body picture, so there were no surprises there.

Met one guy at a sushi place and I could just see his face fall. Dinner started awkwardly as he wouldn't converse with me. I start monologuing and he interrupts me, "I didn't think you would be so... big."

I asked, "What made you think I wasn't? My picture? The time I told you flat out that I was?" His response? "You just didn't sound big on the phone."

I told him this obviously wasn't working, paid my part of the bill (packed up my sushi! Big girl gotta eat! ) and left. Then went home and had a cry. That's exactly why I am so up front about weight issues.

Logged

'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air. Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

Petticoat's post reminded me of my Junior prom. I went with a guy friend who was much shorter than I am, and it wasn't a problem until halfway through the evening when, after repeated attempts to feel me up on the dance floor and over dinner, he finally stormed off in disgust yelling that I was too dingdangity tall anyway. So I was devastated, but held it together, and quietly walked back to my table. That would be when a very sweet friend of mine sent over her date to ask me to dance. This date? Well, he was a Marine who arrived in his dress uniform, and he was tall, and gorgeous, and he ever-so-sweetly asked if I would care to dance. I was so happy with this turn of events that I almost broke down right there, but managed to keep it to a big grin and a beet-red face.

Come school on Monday, all the girls are squealing about how LeeLee got to dance with the Marine after Stevie acted like a poop-head and ditched her *right there* on the floor. I of course was gushing that Allison was kind enough to share her date with me

eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.

Now see??? This is MY point and one that I'm happy to make to BF every time we end telling that story! He was clearly not understanding that I didn't ask these people to be jerks. I'm glad that someone else sees that too.

I was wondering that myself. How is that your fault? I wanted to be in line behind Petticoats and also slap everyone in that story except for you.

POD. Can I be in line behind you? And can I wear a nice leather glove so my hand doesn't hurt as much when I've completed the slapping?

I have a fine pair that we can split. Plus, there's something about a good, tight leather glove that makes me want to slap something, I don't know why. Anywhosers, it sounds like we've got a slapping party going!

eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.

Now see??? This is MY point and one that I'm happy to make to BF every time we end telling that story! He was clearly not understanding that I didn't ask these people to be jerks. I'm glad that someone else sees that too.

I was wondering that myself. How is that your fault? I wanted to be in line behind Petticoats and also slap everyone in that story except for you.

POD. Can I be in line behind you? And can I wear a nice leather glove so my hand doesn't hurt as much when I've completed the slapping?

I have a fine pair that we can split. Plus, there's something about a good, tight leather glove that makes me want to slap something, I don't know why. Anywhosers, it sounds like we've got a slapping party going!