Pages

Friday, December 31, 2010

Here's another look at some things that went down in 2010 that I thought were worth mentioning:

4/20 BP = Broken Pipes - It's sad that most of the news photos we saw were of animals covered in oil. We seem to forget that people lost their lives due to this accident. I haven't seen too many of the victims' photos, but I've seen enough pelicans to last a decade. BP leaks oil all over the beaches of five states and still makes a ton in profits. What's wrong with that picture? Then again, gas is higher than giraffe booty this month.

Worth mentioning: 4/21 Big Ben suspended -Drunk Boy is at it again. More charges come up for Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger which results in a four game suspension. He wasn't charged, but where there's smoke, there's fire. He's now been accused multiple times of forcing himself on women. One thing I can confirm about him: this dude is dumb.

5/9 Betty White hosts SNL - I'm not sure when the rule changed, but evidently old people cursing is now considered comedy. As big of a fan as I am of the "Golden Girls" reruns, seeing Betty White being obnoxious just isn't funny to me. To me, Betty winning the AP's Entertainer of the Year award is more of a "last hurrah" effort on the AP's part for a person making one last run.

Worth mentioning: 5/23 "Lost" finale - I'm so glad this show is over! For those of you who haven't watched it yet, SPOILER ALERT! Okay, not really. I stopped watching about four seasons into it so I can't even tell you how it ended or if it even ended. I got so tired of the show introducing new characters and story lines that I hit the eject button on ol' John Locke and "Hurley". I felt like I was the one that was "Lost" trying to figure out why they kept pushing that button. SPOILER ALERT OVER! Uh, not really.

6/3 Joran van der Sloot arrested - Joran, suspected in the murder of American, Natalee Holloway, in 2005 was arrested for the murder of Tatiana Flores Ramírez. Natalie Holloway grew up in the town next door to mine and although it was never proven that Joran was responsible for her disappearance, like O.J., I'm giving him credit for being a double murderer now that poor Tatiana adds to the list of women who have bad things happen in his presence. Ramírez's body was found beaten to death in a hotel room in Peru paid for by van der Sloot. Video caught Joran entering the room with Ramírez, but she never came out. He admitted to Ramírez's death days later, but then took the confession back. I hope his cell mate is a 6'8", 320 lb. sex addict.

Worth mentioning: 6/9 Chicago Blackhawks win Stanley Cup - As a sports fan, I think that the Stanley Cup is the most exciting trophy presentation in the history of sports. Chicago won their first Stanley Cup in roughly 50 years. That's quite a gap in between titles and the city hasn't celebrated much since Michael Jordan was relevant. Then again, to be fair, Jordan still has an impact on the nation. Here's an impact Jordan has on our youth:

Thanks for making our children stupid with your overpriced shoes, loser! $180 for something it probably took $2 to make. Yeah, that's the American spirit. You'll never be on the level of Muhammad Ali, Bill Russell or Jim Brown. You may have changed the game of basketball, but those men changed the world.

Here's a look at some things that went down in 2010 that I thought were worth mentioning:

1/22 - Conan gets booted from the Tonight Show - This was foul to me. Jay Leno came off as an egomaniac who wanted to throw his weight around after his failure of a show collapsed at 10 PM ET. Luckily, Conan landed on his feet at TBS and is doing fairly well there.

Worth mentioning: 1/27 - Apple reveals iPad - Everyone likes iCandy, right? While they're very useful during a commute, to me, it's way too much money for a conversation piece.)2/19 Tiger apologizes - For what, I'm unsure. The cheating was between Tiger and his wife. For those of you who think that he owes you anything because you were fooled into thinking he was the Golden Boy, then you need a hug. Tiger lost a family at home, endorsements and from the looks of it, some of his golf game over some Waffle House babes. I hope he still gets free "Covered and Chopped" hashbrowns.

Worth mentioning: 2/7 - The Saints win the Super Bowl - I still can't believe this one. The Bad News Bears of the NFL shocked the world and pulled a Buster Douglas on Peyton and his Colts. This is a team that was so bad when I was growing up that the fans wore bags over their heads at the games. Now they are World Champions. Now I have to listen to folks yell "Who Dat!!??" until the Falcons get revenge on them and knock them out of the playoffs. Yes, that was a prediction that will make Scott smile.

3/23 - Obama signs health care overhaul into law- 22 pens were used to sign this bill (I need stock in Office Max). John Boehner described it as a "somber day", but at least he didn't cry. I guess we'll have to wait and see how this bill turns out.

Worth mentioning: 3/15 First full body scanners installed at O'Hare - Now you can check for bone fractures before catching a flight out of town. I didn't experience any of the troubles some travelers mentioned while on my trip to Orlando earlier this month. I guess big guys in glasses don't fit the profile.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

I want to take time to thank some of my fellow bloggers who entertain me with their contributions to the blog world. I try to show love for them by mentioning them in one of my posts every chance I get. However, I thought to myself, "Why not just spotlight them?"

And here is another installment of that! I present "Blog Stalking!" A phrase I started regurgitating after seeing Falen AKA Thundercat type it a few times.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Where to start? I wish I knew, but I'll do the best I can. Buckle up because this is a long one...

It's hard to say what generation dropped the ball when it comes to our youth. The Generation X group from 1961-1981 would be where I'd start.

We didn't preserve our core values that our parents (from the Baby Boomer era) taught us. We compromised on our beliefs and because of it, we live in a country full of young, lost souls.

So many of us were raised in two-parent households, but ended up as single parents ourselves. Dads raised their sons to be men, but now that job seems to belong to a lot of women. Women have "worn the pants" in their families for so long that their daughters never seem to learn how to be ladies.

What made us change? Why did we, out of all of the people before us, choose to be the group to compromise our values?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to have children without a two-parent household?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to choose buying a material thing over this month's rent?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to have enough visible tattoos to make it hard to tell where your shirt ends and skin begins?

Society played a role in it. Corporations got greedy and inflation out-paced salaries requiring more two income households. That meant no more "June Cleavers" staying home while the "Ward Cleavers" went off to work to bring home the bacon.

With both parents now working in households lucky enough to have two, who's watching the kids?

Well, when I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have responsible adults to look after me while my mom and dad worked. My grandmother lived in my neighborhood and my best friend's grandmother stayed just two houses down. All of them allowed me access to their homes as if I were their kid and they also kept me in line if I acted up.

What are our options now? Daycare? A system that rarely allows for people who truly have love for your child to nourish, educate, and discipline them? That's our resolution? To have strangers raise our kids?

My aunt and uncle, who own a daycare, wouldn't be happy with that statement, but I'm just making a point. :)

So, if kids aren't getting the love, discipline and life lessons at the day care, then it's pretty much up to the parents (or in most cases, the mother) to instill that at home. Is that easy to do when your child is spending 40 hours a week around strangers learning new habits?

Gen X'ers, we've failed our youth. It has led to females who lack lady-like qualities and options in a suitable mate as well as males who are in a perpetual state of boyhood.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Why do men make great politicians? Because you can ask us a question and we can talk for five minutes without answering it.

Ladies, when it comes to a man, be direct and ask multiple questions, if you have to do so, if you're considering "the next level".

If he's asked by other women if he has a girlfriend, he'll say "no" because you're not his girlfriend in his eyes.

Why? Because you never said you were his girlfriend. You just thought that because you two hung out now and then that it was assumed, huh? It doesn't work like that. When you start to think this guy may be a long-term thing, ask him, "Are we exclusive?"

Use that phrase and get a definitive answer. At that point, there's no ducking or dodging. It's a "yes" or "no" question to where you stand. If the answer isn't "yes", then any other response is "no".

Either way, you're throwing a monkey wrench in his game because he won't be able to talk around that question. :)

But, don't cheat yourself. Ask multiple questions and find out what the guy is about sooner rather than later. Ask a few subtle questions about his ex and make sure she's not lurking around and waiting to give him another try.

Be honest with yourself. 7 out of 10 of you hear things you know are conducive to a bad relationship, but you choose to ignore it because you want to make it work. In the words of Chad Ochocinco, "Child, please!"

A few common sense tips to get you ladies back on the right path to a healthy relationship.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Seventy-two percent of black babies are born to unmarried mothers today. Seventy-freakin'-two. Are you kidding me? If you're a single, black mom, then you're getting ready to be upset with me. If you're a single, black "baby daddy", then you're going to be offended.
Good. That's exactly what I want. I hope I step on so many toes with this post that I leave a room full of dislodged toenails after I'm done. I struggled with my approach to this post because at first, I didn't want to upset any one. Afterwards, I thought to myself, "this is one of the many reasons black people are stuck in the rut we've been in for decades now. Why be nice?"

Your child deserves two parents and if you disagree, then you're an idiot. That doesn't mean that a single parent can't manage on their own, I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that a single parent's love can never possibly match the love of a two-parent household.

"Children of unmarried mothers of any race are more likely to perform poorly in school, go to prison, use drugs, be poor as adults, and have their own children out of wedlock" according to the column that Jesse Washington, an AP National Writer, wrote.

It doesn't take much research to figure that one out. If the mother is having to work, clean, pay bills, etc., then who in the world has time to fool with kids, right?

Parenting is meant to be a team effort. That sentence would look good on a t-shirt right about now. It takes a phenomenal person to raise a child successfully solo. Contrary to what most of you believe, most of you aren't that phenomenal.

And to the sperm donors, let me give you my two cents. Some black males have no clue of what "being a man" truly is. It pains me to say that. You're so focused on putting rims on your car, buying jewelery and wearing name-brand garbage that you can't see what it's all about and it sickens me.

You continue to go through life thinking a woman's job is to take care of you because you, too, probably came from a single-mom household.

We gotta break the cycle. Why not be the person to do so? Why not start educating today? Why not bring back that unwed mothers are taboo in the black community?

The black community's 72 percent rate dwarfs that of whites mothers at 29 percent, the most recent year for which government figures are available. The rate for the overall U.S. population was 41 percent.

Dag, if you can't have sex responsibly then close your legs until you say "I do", black people! I've heard the reasons that lead to single-parent households and the main culprit is "irresponsibility". Sure condoms break or other birth control methods fail, but we all know that people have unprotected sex like it's Woodstock 2010. I'm not saying it's all the fault of the female, but given the fact you're normally the one left to raise the kid, it should mean more to you than him.

My parents made it very clear to me that bringing a child home before marriage was not an option! The odds of me surviving a plane crash while riding on the wing was higher than my survival rate of bringing home a baby. And if it were to happen, which it did not, then my days of being "free" were over. They said that I would basically waive my "right to party" the moment that child's heartbeat started.

How many baby mamas and daddies do you see in the club every weekend? More than you can count, huh? They drop off their kid(s) at grandma's and roll out to make more.

That same message that was given to me by my parents is not in our households today. My generation dropped the ball and made it "okay" to have a kid. At one time, having a child out of wedlock was considered taboo. Now, losers like the "Octomom" are coming unhinged at the hip from having a litter of them.

Okay, my rant is over. To all of the single, black moms, I'm not saying that your child has absolutely no chance of being productive in society. I'm not saying your child is a "mistake".

I am saying that you got careless. For whatever reason, you got hot in the pants, wanted to trap your man, birth control failed or maybe you actually thought being a single parent was easily do-able.

Well, regardless if your reason is any of the above, then more than likely, you didn't have the best interest of your child in mind. And if you're not doing all that you can to prevent others from falling into the same trend, then you're not taking the best interest of your community either.

Tell them that pregnancy should be planned after a wedding. Not shacking, but marriage. Why some of you think living with a guy is the same as marrying one is beyond me. Why would a woman think she's good enough to get impregnated and good enough to shack up with, but not good enough to take her baby daddy's last name? Are your standards that low?

So many of my beautiful sisters complain that there are not enough eligible black men in the U.S. who are suitable for marriage. Then where are all of these "suitable" men coming from to impregnate them?

No good black men left in the world? How many black women without kids are left?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

This isn't my typical rant. Then again, it isn't a rant at all, but I wanted to share more about my recent trip to Orlando. This is part three of three. To see part one, click here.

I thought about using Southwest's Wi-Fi and doing a little blogging from 38,000 feet, but the flight to Jackson is very short. I figured that by the time I connected, we would be descending. So, I decided just to post some tidbits into Microsoft Mobile One Note on my phone until I landed. Here are my notes:

The Mrs. is cracking me up! This is her 4th flight, so it's still new to her. She wanted the window seat (and looked as if she was willing to fight me for it), so I swapped places with her. Unfortunately, for her, she ended up behind a guy who must have eaten a couple of bean burritos before the flight. The Mrs. has the most keen sense of smell of anyone I know. More accurate than a great white smelling a drop of blood. She exclaims, "Oh, my God!"

"What's wrong?"

"Someone farted!"

(LOL!) Now, I know that my immediate action should not have been laughter, but the word "farted" will even make an 80-year old man laugh. That word just cracks men up. I'm actually chuckling as I type now just thinking about her reaction.

So, the smell goes away and a lot quicker than I would have expected for the inside of a plane, but, 10 minutes later, The Mrs. makes the most twisted face I have ever seen. Immediately, I am laughing again because I know why her face is twisted like the love child of the Grinch and Whoopi Goldberg. The dude seated in front of her has passed gas again. Now, he appears to be asleep, so I am not sure if he is aware of his flatulence or not. But, he smelled like he needed an autopsy.

So, just when I thought that things could not be more annoying (for her), the guy behind her starts drumming his fingers on his tray. To top that off, his rhythm sucked. It sounded like a can of biscuits in a dryer.

As The Mrs. does a quarter-turn towards this guy's line of sight, the drumming gets softer and then eventually stops. Hey, there is an advantage, at times, to being stereotyped as "the angry black woman". The Mrs. is completely harmless, but sometimes a stern look gets results.

Now the flight has a little turbulence, but she doesn't appear to be too bothered. She likes flying now. Last year, she took her first flight (at age 35) for her birthday trip in Chicago. I remember the excitement she had and the excitement I felt for her as we took off. For this particular trip, she flew to Orlando on Wednesday by herself, so I guess I can consider her a veteran now. Outside of blogging in my notes, I slept through much of the flight as well as the turbulence. Plane sleep is the best to me. At one time, I couldn't imagine relaxing that much on a plane because I was terrified of flying, but now, I get comfortable and it's lights out until I reach my destination.

Well, the announcement was made for us to turn off our electronic devices. This week has been a pretty good one. I got a lot of work done in preparation for 2011 and The Mrs. and I sneaked in a mini-vacation.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I'm jealous. Like Wanda Sykes, "Yeah, I Said It!" I'm bitter. Why, you ask? Because I'm tired of rich people making more money on top of what they already have for saying some of the same things that I say. Steve Harvey, Dr. Phil, Reverend Run, etc. I'm jealous of them. I want to cash in on my knowledge, too.

I can give good advice to a co-worker/friend and it will fall on deaf ears. But, doggone it, let Steve Harvey, a man on his third marriage, tell a woman to "respect yourself" and they run to Barnes & Noble to buy his book.

I don't get it. You can't be insightful unless you're already famous? You have to have starred in a certain number of TV shows or movies in order to have credibility?

Ex-con, Lyfe Jennings, took the radio airwaves by storm with his "Statistics" song. He sang about the type of men a lady will meet and how to not "be a nickel looking for a dime." The song was being played every where right before he went back to jail for getting into an altercation with the mother of his child. Now's he's a "Statistic." Again. Yet, his lyrics are still tweeted daily.

So, yeah, I'm bitter. I haven't had multiple marriages. I don't have any baby mamas nor do I hit women. Doesn't that make me more of an expert since I generally practice what I preach? I want my next pay check to be from some common sense statement I made in a blog. For example: "If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you."

Where's my dough? If Reverend Run tweeted that same statement then he would have more retweets than a stuttering baby bird.

If there's money to be made in common sense, why can't the guy with "Common Sense" in his blog title make any? How can I cash in?

Maybe I should go the route of some of my peers. I take a lot of pride in some of my fellow bloggers who have turned their thoughts into books (or are in the process of doing so):

My man, Sid, down in FL has a book or two at Barnes & Noble. One of my new faves, Tameka, is doing her thing with "The Writing Assassin". It's very good and I wish I everyone would follow and support her. Scott gives a lot of outside-the-box perspectives on his blog as well.

We all need to rise up and get our pay checks! No sense in already-famous people getting all of the attention for saying some of the same things we've posted.

Now, if I can only get Dr. Phil to float me a loan to help publish my book...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

This isn't my typical rant. Then again, it isn't a rant at all, but I wanted to share more about my recent trip to Orlando. This is part two of three. To see part one, click here.

My business meeting ended last Wednesday, which is earlier than normal, but it is what it is. So, instead of flying home on Wednesday evening, I flew The Mrs. down to Orlando to spend the rest of the week there with me. It was her first time in Orlando, so I thought we would make it a mini-vacation. We stayed in our favorite hotel, The Hyatt Place, but I now have a beef with them after their internet service kept crashing. I couldn't blog at all which is why I'm just now telling you about a trip from last week.

We hung out with some of my co-workers for a little Trivia Night at the Miller's Ale House in Sanford. Won 1st place ($30 bar tab) in the first game, too! On Thursday night, I visited some relatives of mine in Altamonte Springs and had a great time. But, Friday night was where the fun really happened. We made our way to Universal Studio's City Walk to see if we could grab a bite to eat and find something to get into later.

Since City Walk offered a pass to visit all of their night clubs for only $12, we figured we'd give it a try. After all, most of the nightclubs there charging $7-$10 admission any way.

First up was Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. We went there to eat, but it was packed! A 45 minute wait. Now, you would think I would have tried a drink there being that the place is named after one, but for someone reason, it slipped my mind! I guess seeing some waitresses on stilts threw me for a loop.

We ended up eating at the NASCAR Restaurant basically because it was no one there. LOL! Boy, were we surprised! The food was off the chain! I had a three-cheese burger and The Mrs. had chili nachos and we chowed down like hostages after a week-long standoff.

After stuffing our faces, it was time to hit the clubs. We peeped Bob Marley: A Tribute to Freedom and the reggae band there was nice! They have an outdoor pavillion that has a lot of dancing room and the band was posted up under a gazebo and they were getting down! It would have been so much more enjoyable had it not been 34 freakin' degrees! 34 freakin' degrees in Orlando? That wasn't in the brochure! This is supposed to be the Sunshine State!

Anyway, we checked out the Red Coconut Club which was lame and then The Groove which had one of the best DJ's I've heard in a while. He kept the dance floor packed! It was the first time I've danced since my quadriceps tear in Nov. '09. I started to feel my age, too. After two or three songs, I soon realized that I'm not 24 any more!

But, the highlight of the night (for me) was City Walk's Rising Star Karaoke Bar. This place not only allows you to make a fool out of yourself in front of an audience, you get to make a professional fool out of yourself! Once you get on stage, it's not just you. There's no DJ spinning the instrumental tracks of songs. It's a live band who plays your song. Also accompanying you on-stage are two backup singers and a hype man to pump the crowd while you perform. It is basically an amateur concert and it was a very nice alternative to the karaoke spots here in Jackson where you will see a drunk standing next to a jukebox singing some Patsy Cline song. We call those spots "Waffle Houses".

The Mrs. and I spent most of the night there while laughing at some of the entertainment who clearly had too much to drink. Don't get me wrong. Some of them were actually pretty good performers, but others were just having a great time with no shame.

After we left there, we stopped in for a sec at The Latin Groove which was kind of boring. Then again, it was almost 2 AM which is when everything closes.

The Mrs. and I really had a good time at the City Walk. We absolutely do not club at home, so this was something different for us. We both enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

Friday, December 17, 2010

I want to take time to thank some of my fellow bloggers who entertain me with their contributions to the blog world. I try to show love for them by mentioning them in one of my posts every chance I get. However, I thought to myself, "Why not just spotlight them?"

And here is the first installment of that! I present "Blog Stalking!" A phrase I started regurgitating after seeing Falen type it a few times.

Her blog is appropriately titled "Colorful Rants of A Fed Up Sista" and this is one of my favorite posts from her spot. Those who follow me know that I think highly of this blog as it is one of the funniest ones on the web.

Be sure to comment on her page and let her know what you think about the post!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Mrs. and I were talking over Chinese food today about kids and how they are at school these days. We hear all kinds of horror stories because we have a friend who is a high school teacher.

The Mrs. made a very important point to me that I had not considered: kids no longer have shame.

Basically, it means that the things that made me so embarrassed, that I got my act together and did better, don't affect today's child.

I remember being in 1st grade and having the messiest desk in the room. I'd stuff papers inside the cubby hole of my desk and think nothing of it. One day, my teacher came by and said, "Quincy, you have the messiest desk in the school."

I was hurt. I didn't want to be the messiest desk in the school. As I slid out of my desk and squatted down to collect the papers from inside of it, I can remember the other kids just staring at me.

After that day, my desk was never messy again. Why? Because the shame I felt prompted me to want to do better/not be in that situation again.

It starts at home. Doing something stupid wasn't rewarded in my parents' home. There were consequences to what I did. My parents knew how to embarrass me. I knew that if I did something really dumb that it would result in my mom taking a day off work and sitting in my classroom to make sure I acted correctly. Now, that never happened, but the thought of my mom sitting in my classroom and humiliating me in front of my friends terrified me.

Do parents threaten to do that today? I wonder.

Today's child seems immune to shame brought on by criticism. Why? Maybe it's because we reward even last place in competitions. Maybe it's because we use "pleasant" colors to grade homework instead of a big, harsh, red "X" that I received on mine as a child. Maybe it's because behavior levels at school are like terror alerts. "Little Jeffrey is on 'red' today." Garbage. How about "Little Jeffrey is bad and needs some discipline!"

We're too nice to kids. We focus so hard on not hurting their feelings that when they should be hurt, they don't even know it. Kids on sitcoms talk back to their parents and the laugh track plays. You don't think children see this? You don't think they feel as if they're able to say what they're thinking without consequences?

Not in my household! I learned at a very early age that TV was fantasy thanks to "The Brady Bunch". Yes, "The Brady Bunch". That wholesome show got me in a load of trouble as a youth from one particular episode. The episode when Greg called Mike and Carol by their first names instead of Mom and Dad did me in. I tried to call my parents by their first names and my father went off on me like I had called him an expletive.

So, I'm not saying that you have to scream your child down with profanity a la Kenny Powers from "Eastbound and Down". Nor am I saying that you have to break out the belt like James Evans did in the 70's on "Good Times". I am saying to you, no, I am begging you, that you do something to let the child know, "hey, that's no okay that you did that!"

Monday, December 13, 2010

So, it's Sunday, December 5th and I'm making an annual business trip to Orlando. From JAN to MCO is about a little less than a two hour flight. It's my fourth time to this office, so everything is pretty routine at this point. Except for the people you encounter. I'm always looking for blog content and some people make it too easy for me.

Personal Space Violators

You all know that I hate it when people come all up in my area! So, we're at the beginning of the security line at the airport. The place where you take off your shoes, take your laptop out of your bag, etc. For those not familiar, before you fly, you have to put all of your personal effects into a bin so that it can go through an x-ray machine. This clueless... wait, no, selfish individual stopped at the very front of the table to take his shoes off and take out his personal effects. He had another 10 feet of table he could have moved down to use. That would have allowed other people to start putting things in the bin. Instead, he stood at the very front of the table and held up the line while nine feet of table went unused. Finally, a security guard came over to speak to him. "Sir," she started. "Please move down so that others may start using the table."

Do you know that idiot actually looked annoyed? And even after we went through the x-ray, this loser still didn't move down on the conveyor belt. He stood right where his things came out of the machine and started putting on his shoes until a security guard asked him to move again.

Why are people so selfish? This guy didn't care we had to wait. He just felt that he could take his time and the world would stop for him.Contradiction to a Stereotype

Okay, I know that stereotypes are bad, but they make for the best jokes. On the plane, I had an Asian gentleman sit next to me. Shortly before take off, he pulls out this book about the human brain (the name of the book escapes me right now). Of course, the stereotype kicks in and I immediately assume that this dude is a genius which is a stereotype of Asians. Why would anyone be offended by that any way? People pick and choose what offends them. Black guys aren't offended when people say our junk is large, but talk about our credit and we fly off the handle. LOL!

Anyhoo, I saw something that debunked my theory that all Asians are geniuses and almost caused me to laugh out loud: as this guy was reading his book, he was moving his lips.

No Flat Screens in "Sports Bar"

After a very peaceful and prompt flight (via Southwest), I went to baggage claim to retrieve my things. If you've never been to the Orlando airport, you basically have to walk a distance the equivalent of Jackson, MS to Memphis, TN to reach the baggage claim area. I got my things and made my way to the FOX Sports Grill to wait on the rest of my co-workers and boss to arrive. I hate travelling on Sundays because I'm a huge fan of the NFL, but you do what you have to do when it comes to work, right?

I get into the FOX Sports Grill and although I've been there before, I was annoyed on this particular day. I was irked at the fact that I was watching the games on a bunch of 27-inch standard definition Toshiba tube TV's instead of something in HD on a flat screen. In 2010, how can you be located in a major airport and not have HD in a "sports bar", but I can watch Lifetime HD, in two different languages, in the Lush store around the corner? Until you remedy that, I will refer to you as a "novelty bar" because a sports experience definitely isn't your focus. I was glad to see my boss and co-workers arrive because the music they were playing over the loud speakers in the "novelty bar" was annoying me. Music and not play-by-play commentary? Fail!

I never thought the best experience of my trip down to ORL would actually be the flight.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I can't stand people in the business world who don't give their all. From a fry cook at McDonald's to CEO of Bank of America, if you are a slacker, then you are just a slacker. It doesn't matter the income.

It's crazy how someone working at a fast food restaurant gets an attitude. "Man, skip this! Boss man told me last night that if I didn't tighten up, he was going to have to cut my hours. I can do his job better than him if I wanted. I think I'm going to quit because he's disrespecting me."

How are you going to be a good manager if you can't even flip burgers right?

Why do people think they can half-do the entry level positions and still get promoted to the upper-level positions in management? People think that even if you're mediocre that years of service alone entitles them to something? Nah, it doesn't work like that.

I worked in the collections department for AT&T back in '02. I didn't like the job at all, but I was a top five money collector for most of my time in that department. Despite the fact that I disliked calling people's home asking for them to pay their cell phone bill, I was one of the best at it. I gave it 100% on the job.

Eventually, I got moved into another position which has led to the work I do today for another company. Not only did those dreadful days of collections prepare me for future opportunities, it also gave me a greater appreciation for the job that I do now.

Now, I know that everyone is different, but that doesn't change the fact that some people just don't get it. If all you do is complain on your job, then why would anyone want to bump you up to a more important position? If you're always late for work, then why would someone think that you could manage someone else's attendance?

Is it safe to say that today's youth (20-29 years old) feel a little more entitled than my generation did? Is it the fact that every kid got a trophy just for participating? Maybe it's the lack of red ink used when grading homework because it "looked harsh."

Whatever the reason, I cringe at the thought of who will be running the White House 20 years from now.

(dialing phone)

President Slacker: "Hello, Saudi Arabian President? We're all out of oil in the U.S. We used the last of it to fill a tarpit for a "Jurrasic Park" remake. Uh, can we borrow some more oil?"

Saudi: "Borrow? There will be none of that. What goods do you have to trade?"

Slacker: "Well, we don't make anything any more. We sent that hard work overseas because our mothers told us we didn't have to do that stuff if we didn't want. (Awkward silence) Uh... I can do the Dougie!"

Saudi: "Your silly dances from 2010 don't amuse me, President Slacker. It's 2030 and you're the only country that still uses oil for energy. Why is that?"

Slacker: "Yeah. You see, what had happened was... The guys responsible for researching energy really aren't qualified, but they got promoted because they have worked for us for a long time. I've been around almost a full term, too! I've been president for three years! I don't get anything for that?"

Monday, December 6, 2010

In 2010, it is not about if you're talented or not. It's all about if you are memorable.

Society has set the stage for us to find our way onto someone's flat screen! Will you do something so mind-numbingly stupid that people will remember you and want to see more of you?

How to Get Famous 301 starts now!

Reality show contestant

Gotta love reality TV. Mindless, manufactured drama which costs the broadcasters very little and doesn't require its viewers to do much thinking.

These people recognize their opportunities. They know that if they can act a big enough fool, that they will get their 15 minutes of fame and maybe even more.

Now, there's nothing "real" about a reality show. When's the last time you went to someone's house and they had 15 people living in it of different gender, race and/or sexual orientation? Mix in nightly trips to the bar with people of the opposite (or sometimes same) sex coming on to you with alcohol-induced flirting and you have instant drama! When you put people in that type of living arrangement, then something is bound to pop off.

That link is one of my favorite funny reality show clips, by the way. Anyhoo, I look at reality shows as a newer, sexier version of daytime soap operas. I remember being at work, a decade ago, and listening to women in the break room discussing "Y&R" or "All My Children". Now, when I enter the break room, it's all about Snooki (what's a "Snooki" anyway?), Nene or whoever. Snooki makes $30k per episode for being obnoxious and a drunk. Some of my readers probably do the same for free. LOL! Stop short-changing yourself! Get paid for those drunken rants you end up blogging about weekly! :)

There have been some talented and successful reality show contestants: Elizabeth Hasselbeck turned "Survivor" into a spot on "The View". Kelly Clarkson used "American Idol" to springboard into a successful music career. Kim Kardashian turned "ho-dom" into "stardom" (I'm sorry, but if you create and release a sex tape of yourself, you're a ho).

So, anyone can grace the cover of multiple magazines or home pages of websites. All you have to do is simply this:

a) Get a spot on a show .b) Act the biggest donkey known to mankind.

Even a moron could do it! You could be the next big thing!

And when you do, don't forget to give me a shout for helping you learn how to get famous!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm completely convinced that most companies do not understand how to run a business now. So many companies have training classes on how to provide the best customer service, but it's all a front.

Most companies don't care if you're satisfied or not. They just want to ensure that they're getting money from you on a monthly basis.

That's why cell phone companies, satellite services, etc. force you into a two year contract. Instead of trying to win your loyalty by providing the best service, they entice you with "new customer specials" and then after you sign your soul away, you're just a number for the next 18-24 months. You're no longer eligible for specials. At least not until the last six months of your contract. Then you're their best friend all over again.

Companies like Apple will provide you with a product that requires tons of other proprietary products from them. If you get an iPod, then you need to download iTunes. If you want your iPod to work on your stereo, then you need an iPod docking station. And so on and so on. There are a million i(insert name here) that Apple sells in order to make you dependent on them. Nothing naturally works with Apple. It always requires some additional purchase.

Here's another thing companies will do: instead of trying to just provide a good service, they try to eliminate the competition. Some companies will go as far as offering to buy their competitors just to get rid of them. How sad is that?

"If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em?" That quote doesn't ring a bell with me. AT&T got the hammer dropped on them in the 1983 U.S. v. AT&T anti-trust suit and it forced them to split itself into seven smaller companies. The company had bought almost everyone and was becoming too much of a monopoly. That break-up led to new competition in the long distance market from Sprint to MCI. The verdict of the antitrust suit was ultimately better for the consumer.
Well, after 20 years of purchasing those same companies back and changing names to protect themselves (SBC, AT&T Wireless, Cingular, back to AT&T, etc.), AT&T is back to being the "Death Star" of communication technology. They're basically doing the same thing they did back in 1983, but the difference today is that there are no more people in Congress who care. After all, AT&T gives its fair share of campaign contributions to the Democratic and Republican parties. Sine 1990, they've been reported to have paid an estimated $45 million dollars in campaign contributions (which is $9 million higher than any one else). Congress can't bite the hand that feeds them, right?

Lastly, the smear campaign is something else competitors will do. DirecTV and Dish have argued over who has the most HD channels for almost two years now and every single commercial is misleading. Besides, no one cares who has the most HD channels if a lot of them are pay-per view or simulcasts. An airing of a boxing pay per view event should not count as one of my channels. Instead of nitpicking with one another and suing each other every month for false statements, use that time and money to improve your product.

The bottom line is: corporations don't understand what has made them successful any more. They don't understand that treating your customers and employees right can lead to success in any area of sales.

Stop suckering in the new customers only to treat them like crap after they sign on the dotted line. The same effort you make to get the customer should be made to keep the customer.

Stop sending jobs overseas. By doing so, you're getting bad-mouthed by former employees who now hate your guts. Also, if all companies keep outsourcing overseas, then how do you expect us to pay for whatever it is you sell if we're unemployed back home?

Stop spending so much time trying to expose your competition. These guys are so busy trying to show what the next guy isn't doing that they're failing to improve upon their own product. Corporate competitors are just like Democrats and Republicans; they all love to point out what the other one is/isn't doing about a problem without having a solution to it.

Stop doing these things and maybe we can have some reputable companies in the U.S. again instead of these guys who are bad for business.