Florida Man Arrested for Peeing on Woman During Argument

Here’s a tactic that’s almost guaranteed to win you every debate: peeing on your opponent. They’ll never see it coming—even though they will. Kenneth Timmer of Jupiter, Fla., took it all the way back to pre-school, when he resorted to urinating on 27-year-old Meghan Johns back on May 19. The fact that the incident took place inside of a mobile home shouldn’t surprise anyone.

A deputy was summoned to investigate a disturbance, and ending up finding Johns wearing a white tank-top drenched with a “smelly white liquid.” Johns said that Timmer entered the bathroom before she could finish, igniting an argument that led to Timmer peeing in the toilet, then on John’s chest in a fashion she did not enjoy.

An apparently intoxicated Timmer denied doing any harm, but the tell-tale urine on his shorts and the bathroom floor suggested otherwise. He was arrested and charged with battery. No word on whether he was forced to clean up the urine.