With a million little things that I wanted to share today I decided to do a roundup post and when I saw this photo…well, I had to have it.

Today I got our grocery shop in. My grocery shops used to fall on weekdays and were oh-so-much-easier to manage, but with work being as busy as it has been the past few shops have been on the weekend. For those who don’t know – the grocery store is insane on the weekends. INSANE. Not only are they insane but they are insane because all the women or men who usually shop are now towing around their significant others who have no idea where things are or the concept of a grocery list and so are causing unnecessary stress, arguments and purchases. Today I was included in that group. Buzz came with me. I sent him next door to pick up smoothies and managed to get through almost half of my list by the time he came back but then it started:

Him: “oh look, we need this!”
Me: “is it on the list?”
Him: “well…no?”
Me:”Then we don’t need it”
Him: “But look! It’s a zippy so you can close bags and make them airtight!”
Me: “But is it on the list?”
Him: “No?” with added lingering around the cart.
Me: “Okay fine just put it in”
Him: “No, no nevermind”

In other news I am working on transforming my “office”. Since we are staying in this house for a while I am building myself an office in the bedroom. My office used to be downstairs but it’s too isolated for me as well as not well temperature controlled. I am on the lookout for a nice desk. I am also putting some of our moving money towards a few perks in the new office including wall decor, a medicine cabinet for over my sink (which is in the bedroom), and a new comforter set since our quilt has been washed one too many times already. I am also looking for a new bed for Jet. We have been through many beds and he is currently half sleeping on a crib mattress. It’s great for his bad hips but honestly he only sleeps with his head on it and his hind end on the floor. Strange kiddo of mine.

I am also planning a trip down to visit family in a couple of weeks. Buzz will be staying here to help fix up the house and Jet and I will be staying in Florida until I feel the need to return home. Which might be never. I love Florida. I love being near my family.

On the note of family my “little quirks” or “stress symptoms” have been worsening again lately. Once again I forgot to wash my hair while in the shower and had to re-shower later that day. I have also once again forgotten how to work windshield wipers – this one bothers me immensely and I fear it is a warning of an impending MS diagnosis. I have also been exhausted by the slightest things as well as experiencing blurred vision even with my glasses on and losing my balance quite a bit. Perhaps it’s stress. I’d like to think it’s stress. I also think in the back of my mind that soon my feeling of an impending MS diagnosis is going to become more than just a feeling. Perhaps though it is paranoia, the paranoia that comes from being the child of a mother with MS. Just the knowing that it could be you next, perhaps that is enough to psychologically induce symptoms. Without health insurance there is no way of knowing until something goes particularly wrong anyway so there is no use worrying. I just take it a day at a time. Lately those days have incorporated a nap in the afternoon, that I can deal with. I have to say though that the uncertainty, the not knowing…it makes you feel a little insane if not a little bit of a hypochondriac. Knowing that people think you “always have something wrong with you” but they really don’t know the feeling that it could be that final pin drop that you have anticipated for so long. The notion that your turn has come because it was coming, because you saw it on the horizon and it was only a matter of time. Still. For now, we wait.

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