Wisdom from The Fairies and Me

Posts tagged ‘The Expanded Gateway’

Tonight we experienced the Super full moon and lunar eclipse. This means the moon is the closest it can be to the Earth and it is full, being the biggest and brightest it can be at this time. We also had a lunar eclipse. As you can imagine this creates a powerful magical time. I woke up with a headache this morning and most psychic aware people I talked to experienced the same thing. There was a lot of activity happening around us and within us today as we shift on a cellular level. We are always changing and shifting but occasionally we have these windows of time that allow for that leap forward. This is one of those times. Tonight as the full moon was peaking my headache got worse. When I asked what I could do to help myself the Fairies said “Listen”. There was a message bursting to come out. Below you will find this message.

“Clarity, release, and transformation; these events can be simultaneously painful, exhausting, invigorating, and blissfully freeing. This bright full moon is a spotlight on all your relationships, be it with other beings, things, or with yourself. It is showing you all the cracks in your foundation, and all the hazards that are on your path. It is also showing you all the beauty, colors, pleasures, and rainbows that dance through your world. The clarity can be hurting your eyes but it is needed and will dim soon. It is with this clarity that you see all that needs to be released. You are in the middle of a house clearing, both inner and outer. The eclipse makes all that has been hiding in the shadows, in the far corners of your life, come into vision. It is time to release the behaviors that hold you back and create struggle. It is time to let those relationships that just drain you fall away. It is time to stop just checking off your to do list and instead look at the choice of each ‘should’ and ‘have to’ and where those choices are leading you. This release creates room for the transformation. When a snake sheds its skin or a caterpillar turns to a butterfly they know a very important trick; you have to rest in between each step. Clarity, rest, release, rest, transform, rest, step forward, rest. Rest does not mean you have to stop and be absolutely still, though it may be good for you to do that too. Rest can be play, which rests the spirit. Rest can be a resting of the mind and the constant running you are doing in there. Rest can be laughing till you cry or crying till you laugh. Rest could mean letting yourself off the hook for something you are ‘suppose to’ do and instead taking the ‘easy way’ or shortcut. You do not just have permission to rest but it is a mandatory requirement for your soul’s evolution. We Fairies love you!! You will burn brightly as this full moon and cover the Earth with your beauty. We are here holding up mirrors for you to see your life and yourself clearly. It is beautiful.” ~ The Fairies

In my adventurous life I have had another epiphany. I can ask for help from actual people. This is a revolutionary concept, I know. The hard work of creating a life full of wonderful meaningful relationships is done. I don’t have people in my life unless there is connection, love, and respect there. Yet, when I get into a stuck place, a hard place, or a challenge, I don’t ask for help. I ask God, my guides, the powers that be, but not those who love and support me here in the physical world. This week has been my wake-up call. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t trust those around me; a time when I was on a self-destructing path and attracted similar people to me. That time is in the past but I was still operating as if I had to do it all alone. I felt ashamed that I would need someone else. This is connected to my feelings of making a mistake. My internal drive for perfection was a safe guard to protect me from having to rely on others. In the past when I relied on others it lead to disappointment. I had to talk myself into looking at my life differently. I started thinking about my relationships and how amazing they were. The out pouring of love and support that I have allowed myself to finally take in has been overwhelming. As a good friend of mine and I joke about, we have a low joy tolerance and can only let in so much.
I truly appreciate everyone in life, including all of you who read my blogs, interact with my Facebook page, clients, friends, and family. My life is so blessed I forget that it is okay for me to ask for more if I need it. I can be human, weak, and vulnerable. The people in my life all have their own strengths and would gladly use those strengths for my benefit in the same way I use mine for their benefit. I hope this blog helps someone else who may be trying to go it alone to ask for help. If it feels scary, think of someone you would help no matter what and ask them. I am sure they will feel the same way about you. It is safe for us to open and receive love continuously. Let it in.

In my adult life I have lived out of a car, couch surfed, been served numerous 3 day pay or quit notices, had checking accounts closed on me, and many other fiscal crashes. Yet, with each experience I receive solutions, wisdom, and move forward on to my next step. Learning to trust and surrender has been my cycles, theme song, and mantra. As many of you know my grandfather passed away last month this led to me not really working much. Then my book that launched was not as successful as I had hoped. So, once again I face another financial crisis. This morning I went into meditation to gain guidance and wisdom. I connected and then realized I didn’t know what to ask. I heard a voice say “What do you want to know?”
I then had to think. What did I want to know?! I just wanted to know the solution. I then realized I knew there was a solution. I trusted the Divineness of this experience. I know that even though I don’t know why this is once again my experience, there is a reason for it. This experience is part of my highest and best, even if I can’t see it or don’t like it. I actually do trust! This was a wonderful realization. I was also in the act of surrender I just needed to be more conscious of it. My natural instinct to resist has finally been shifted to that of trust, but mentally I thought I was acting in the old behavior. So, even though I trusted and was in the process of surrendering I still wanted to know. I still wanted that false sense of security. I share this for you to know that every challenge you are facing right now no matter the situation; money, relationships, changing careers, moving, etc., you can trust it is perfect for your path. It can be scary, but the more times we push through our fear and make ourselves trust it builds a trust in us. The more times we can accept our experience as divine the faster the solution can come.
So, today I open to this experience, knowing that it will lead me to my highest and best and the only way forward is through it. I don’t have to enjoy it, but I can. I can feel scared, stressed, and worried, but it will not stop the solution that is already on its way to me.

This last week my grandfather passed away. He was 91. I can’t think about him without thinking about oranges. He had been orange grower for Sunkist, growing, mainly, Navel Oranges down in Talure County, California (where I was born). I grew up eating oranges at the peak of season fresh from the tree. My friends here in Washington laugh at me because I can’t eat a store bought orange. For the first decade of my life I had never tasted anything but fresh picked from the tree. The memory of that taste, the sweetness, lives in me. It is a part of my being. I can bring the flavor to the tip of my tongue with just a thought. Oranges are in my blood.
My grandfather was like an orange. He had a thick skin that could be hard to initially get underneath of and when you did you would find some bitter parts, but there was sweetness there. As his granddaughter I experienced more of that sweetness then others. That sweetness, like the sweetness of the orange, lives in me still. I can close my eyes and be back on his porch on a hot summer night eating Klondike bars. In a moment I can be giggling at the time he couldn’t read the words on the Password board game and we all starting laughing so hard we couldn’t finish the game. In a breath I can transport myself and be back standing in his grove picking oranges.
When someone passes, or a relationship ends, we are confronted with many aspects of our relationship with them as well as the many aspects of who the person was. It is natural to go through levels of shock, anger, and sadness. It is normal to dig up old resentments and bitter memories. But the final step is to release these layers you have peeled back to find the sweet wedges of the relationship. You can always find the gifts that a person has brought you while they were in your life.
Tonight I sit and enjoy the sweet wedges of my relationship to my grandfather and release the bitter peelings they were wrapped in. Tonight I enjoy my Grandfather the orange.

I had an epiphany a few days ago about the last five to six years of my life. I had a moment five and a half years ago when I realized my marriage had fallen apart and it was time for me to leave it. I had been with my then husband for almost 10 years and we had two children. This moment was both freeing and terrifying. The events that unfurled from that moment over the last almost six years have left me completely changed. Every time I thought I knew why something was happening or where I was going the path seemed to dissolve in front of me. Once I surrendered the next step would reveal itself and I would start trying to figure it out again and then have it dissolve again. I had perceived this as my struggle with ego and confidence or control and surrender. In some ways it was that but it was also my fear. I have a fear of being myself and claiming my life. Many would think I do that. I seem strong, resilient, stubborn, and intense. I am all those things but I am also afraid. I fear success as much as I fear failure. Mostly I am afraid of the unknown. The true clarity of this came to me last week, not as a thought but as a feeling. Often my greatest epiphanies come to me as feelings not rational thoughts. This feeling was trust. If I could just trust I wouldn’t have to be afraid. I had to trust my body, my universe, my family, my friends, the environment, my government, and especially my guides. There was a time I had felt this. I was very young. When I was 4 I was invincible. My 4 year old self would take on the world. Slowly I started to lose that trust. People betrayed me, I was hurt, and life happened. I experienced a lot of challenges in a very short time. By the time I was 18 I felt pretty broken but I stilled trusted some things. I had put a lot of faith in love. If I couldn’t trust my heart and love, what could I trust? Well, my first husband help shatter that too. The funny thing is the last five years, in which I have felt the most alone and broken, has been my rebuilding of trust. I now trust myself, my gut, and my intuition more profoundly then I ever thought I could, AND I know that this will only deepen.
I could spend my day freaking out about my finances and how there isn’t enough to cover my bills. I could choose to stress over any issues I perceive my children to be experiencing, or over the way my ex-husband is behaving, or what someone else did. I could beat myself over my weight or my health or worry about my grandfather who keeps dancing on the edge of death and health. I could get so angry about my husband and the fact that he didn’t do the dishes or the laundry. I could cry victim and blame the world for my choices. Believe me, I could do all these things and do them so magnificently you stood there in awe. Today I choose differently. I choose to trust. I trust that when I feel the struggle and things don’t go as I wish it is still for my highest and best; that, no matter what, my reality is being created to fulfill me.
We all have challenges in our lives. Everyone knows this but it is hard to always feel it. We can sit there and assume everyone else is feeling free, having fun, secure, happy, rich, healthy, and fully enlightened, but that is not the truth. That is our fear screaming inside us to break our trust. When we have an experience of the mind comparing our hurt to someone else’s appearance then our fear is working to separate us. When we are separate then we do not trust. I invite you to trust right now. Trust that you are lovable right now as you are. Trust that your body is perfect and any dis-ease you are experiencing is there to open communication with you and your body. Trust that your finances are an ever changing flow and there will always be more and there will be times of less. Trust that the Universe is conspiring for your highest good, your greatest joy, and your deepest experiences. Any pain you are experience is there to remind you to open, release, and receive more love. Trust in yourself.

I have been personally feeling what I describe as a “push/pull” energy. I can feel, see, know, of amazing things on the horizon but can’t seem to touch, shift, or move towards those things. I feel overwhelmed by a to-do list that never seems to get done and keep burning the candle at both ends. It seems I am overwhelmingly busy and yet not getting anything accomplished. I thought this had to do with my personal “stuff” (which it does) but I noticed a lot of other people having similar experiences and expressing their discomfort in it. It can feel like, or even be, the next big step is right there and you want to take it but circumstances outside yourself are keeping you from moving forward. Even this blog, I had wanted to write but it took me running myself into the ground and getting sick to finally sit down and do it. This is an old pattern of mine I thought I had let go of. This is another part of the energy right now. Experiencing the past, be it people, places, or old cycles. I am having moments when I can smell the house I use to live in, relive a memory I thought was lost to time, and interact with people I thought I would never see again. I asked the Fairies for information about this and how to be more balanced in it. Here is what they had to say:

“You are in the intermission. Act 1 of 2012 has finished and Act 2 is about to begin but you need to rest so you can give Act 2 your full attention and intention.”
“Is Act 2 in 2013?” I asked
“It is a little different for everyone. Some started Act 2 this week, some still have a month or two before the overture starts. Others may not even notice when it does start, but we would suggest that this not be the case for you. We wish you all to be very aware of this rest time and the beginning. There will be lots of foreshadowing in these beginning stages, glints of the future, inspiration that will be buried and then bloom later. Please pay close attention to passing thoughts, visions, and dreams.”
“You talked about an intermission. How do we find peace or what should we be focusing on during this intermission?” I asked
“The intermission can feel uneasy and chaotic to some. Everyone is running around doing little things but feeling stuck. Take this time to breathe, relax, get your food (the things that feed you), and release what has been pressing on you. Get yourself to a place of feeling like you can sit and focus on the next big thing. This is a time to tie up loose ends and finish unfinished business. Very soon you will hear the first note of the band calling you back to your spot.”
“So, what I am hearing you say, is more of the surrender and acceptance which is always my personal issue.” I said
“Yes but also it is about being gentle with you. Letting go of your judgments and criticisms about yourself. Take care of your physical needs and allow yourself to rest or play or be silly. Do what you need to really release and relax.”

“Thank You Fairies”
I have found that just knowing the larger energy that we are working within can make it easier to operate within it. I hope this helps you find what you need in this moment for your soul.

I am working again on my book The Fairies and Me and came across this channeling. I felt like it would be helpful to many at this time.

“Today is the day you can stop living in fear. You do not have to believe that the world is dying or that everything is irreversible. Believe in the power of humans, Fairies, angels, bees, cats, dogs, whales, trees, flowers, fruit, aliens, dragons, crystals, dirt, stones, and all energies that are working towards the wholeness of this place you call Earth. The rebalance has already begun. Find the balance in you and let it shine out spilling deep into the earth, radiating out over the planet, up into the cosmos, and through all realms and all dimensions. We love you. We love your planet. We love all the amazing natural energies there. Join us in love. Open your heart

There are many of you who think it is unsafe to open your heart all the way; that this will make you vulnerable, weak, and open for attack, disappointment, and hurt. That is because you think opening your heart is like opening the door to a big empty house. NO! Opening your heart is like busting open a dam allowing the river to flow and flood where it has been drought. The power of love flowing from you when your heart is open is like a Giant waterfall spilling out and joining ‘The One’. There is no need to guard and protect when you are in that space of true powerful love. This is not just romantic love, but the love for life, the universe, the planet, and EVERYTHING. When you open your heart you explode with love, sending it into, and all over, everything around you. That is what you fear, not the vulnerability but the power. It is the uncontrollable wave that takes you over and forces you to crack open and release all those broken bits. Then you will be in love, then you will be in your wholeness, and then what will you do? What will you do? Will you embrace this amazing power that resides in you? Or will you keep running? Are you looking for Freedom?

Freedom is often misunderstood. People often see freedom as basically nothingness. This vast empty space that you fly along. But that is not freedom. Freedom is about being in your power, about stepping forward and not feeling the connection and ties to anyone. It is having pure motives and clear integrity. Freedom is knowing that you are speaking the truth. Knowing, and totally confident in yourself, and your knowing, and in the expression of who you are. Once you surrender your judgments, you surrender your insecurities, when you surrender your need to be in control of your life, when you surrender what you think you need and you release any preconceived ideas about yourself and the world; then you truly move into freedom. Being able to start each day as if it is the first one you have lived; seeing the magic and wonder of every miracle that surrounds you on the planet, seeing the gift in every person, that is to know freedom. Freedom does not come with something you gain. Freedom comes in letting go of it all, but not letting go of it all into nothingness; letting go of it all so you are light enough to be totally who you are and step forward. So embrace your freedom. Surrender all that you no longer need: everything that is not helping you or serving you at this time. Feel the freedom of releasing it all and being who you are.” – The Fairies