Propitious Times

Every propitious time
for my career
when all that was required
was presentation of a face of admiration
to someone whose status
was based on betrayal by omission
I refrained.

Therefore:
I always acted in the time that followed
the unpropitious time
when my efforts had only the results that they had
& everyone seemed to speed by me
& I felt, for what I didn’t know was a moment
that I had failed, was lost
that I would never be as real
as when I had arrived, announcing myself
naked, with cries of protestation.