Tuesday, March 27, 2012

From time to time I watch Castle. I liked it when it first came out. It was a cool show you know. Plus if you know your people the guy who plays Castle was one of the first Joeys from the soap opera One Life To Live ^_^.

Yea so I'm watching it tonite, I came in like 15-20mins into the show. So Beckett is there talking to this hispanic guy about the bomb explosion and all that other official police business. And Castle is watching the interrogation from the other side of the two sided mirror. So the guy says he doesn't remember or doesn't know or something. Then Beckett screams at the guy that she was shot and remembers every single second. So me and Castle are O_O hold the fuck up.

Now if we all remember when she got shot. If you don't Beckett got shot and Castle told her how much he loved her and how he wanted to marry her the whole-9. So in another episode, he asked her about what he said and she said she didn't remember and didn't know or something like that it was like last year or so. Go to Wikipedia if you need the whole story. So Castle left it at that until tonite.

So not only was he feeling some type of way. I'm sitting there like wtf is this??

First they were spose act like this love/hate relationship that turns into a blossoming love and they get married. But everything he does for her she acts more and more snotty or bitchy. Like there goes Castle to save her from a bomb, bullet, car crash WHATEVER!! And she doesn't even say thank you, let alone show some type of compassion or love of some sort you know???

So the next episode is suppose to be about Castle "moving on" oh but now Beckett's PISSED.

Hold up Ho. He told you numerous times he loved you, wanted to be with you, took you out wined and dined you, SAVED YOUR SORRY ASS, etc. And now you're mad because he's decided to move on??? If that's not Love I dunno what it.

I mean my mind was blown from that.

If the friendzone is like that hell I'm gamed!! I don't have no guy I know that would do any of those things for me, except for my dad.

But no if a person is willing to go that far or go unusual lengths for a person. Whether it be a man for a women or a woman for a man. That's love right there. Real talk!!

But not only did I feel sorry for Castle but I knew exactly what he was feeling.

I dunno what it is, but if you ever fall in love with a person. It's different from a crush, or unrequited love. Those types of loves you can bounce back or pull yourself together if you get rejected from the potential love interested. Like you ever have a crush and go tell them you like them and they say no Norway or no thanks or whatever. You're hurt or upset for a bit and you move on. It's easy and simple. It was more of a strong LIKE than a Lust. Lust is a different story. Yes kids well talk about that too one day....remind me lol.

But to fall in love is a different unique feeling. And trust me you will know. The feeling is so overwhelming that all your emotions take off and you don't know what to do. No its that OMG stare with your mouth open wide drooling as you see your love in this super model photo shoot, with the flowing hair, and nice sun light spot light and sparkles and stuff. Yea it's nothing like that. It's more of a painful happy feeling. And it's the anxiousness I guess that gets your blood pumping and all excited. It's an unusual moment you will ever have in your life. But when you fall in love with someone who either "teases" or makes you think theres a possible probability there. It hurts that much more. Because you fall deeper in love. And it's like being addicted to a drug. The more of it you get the more you want it and you don't want it to stop. However when that person says they're not interested or hooks up with someone else or in Castle's case says fuck off in the nicest way and takes a detour. Or in my case you fall in love with someone you didn't know who was married. It's really really hard to get over. It hurts too. You can't snap back and get over it like you would with a crush.

Like you get so angry at first because you feel like you've wasted precious good time on and for someone who not only didn't fully care or feel the same way. Now you know if you like someone or not and it's better to let them know ahead of time before things get out of control or someone if not both people get hurt. However in some cases you fall so in love with a person. That when you find out you can't have them or they don't want you, it's hard to let go.

In all honesty, all I can say don't let people fall in love with you and try to avoid it yourself as much as possible. Even now I say I want to move and know I can do so. But I don't want to, because I know what I want and what I want is HIM. However even though I know that and feel that (gotta tell yawl about seeing him), I just can't help myself and want him. And it's hard and it hurts. So I feel for the time being a relationship ain't for the best or recommended to solve the problem. That creates even more problems.

For Love to be such a beautiful thing and the most wondrous thing to experience. And how all this fairy tale happiness is going to take place. But then when it doesn't you've not only waste time, years, and wasted good love on something not pliable or made for forever. It's quite depressing.

I dunno, it's a lot better but I'll admit he comes to mind and a twinge appears in my heart. And I find myself missing him and eating him. But then I get mad and pissed because I can't have him and I'm disgusted I wasted my time and a love I could've shared with someone who was willing to love me back just because they wanted to and not because the felt they had to. But also may that might change. Or maybe if I get my own little bundle of joy that will solve it too! Or get a cute Lil Beyoncé Pup to fill the love gap.

But yea did you watch that and find all that odd??

If not then hell I dunno maybe I'll bring it back up when my mind is a lot clearer haha.