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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Pregnancy after stillbirth: 7 weeks 5 days

Ugh Christmas is confusing. I'm grieving C - making it feel like I have nothing to celebrate, yet I also have a tiny tiny bun in my oven that I desperately want to celebrate but I am so fearful of doing so.

On the physical side of things, my pelvis has gone wonky again so I'm booked in to see the osteopath in the new year. I suspect my pelvis was on the wonk before I ever got pregnant, but being pregnant in such quick succession has made it worse. I'll get it fixed. So long as it is OK for labour I don't care what I have to do between now and then.

I still don't have sore boobs. Nausea is coming and going. I was talking about when I started wearing maternity clothes last time. A friend said I was very visibly pregnant at 15 weeks, but wasn't in maternity clothes every day then. I really really want to start swelling and be in maternity clothes soon, because then I think people will recognise me as a mother again. Although then I'll have to start the explanations and remind people that this is filled with terror.