Having a crisis

I don't know what to do. At all. I'm a polytheist agnostic but was raised methodist for the first 23 years of my life. I'm 39 now. I have decided
to go agnostic cuz it makes sense to me.

though I have 'refound God' a few times in the past 10 years and would keep HIm, I always went back to agnosticism cuz it again makes the most
sense.

HOWEVER, every time I'd be christian, things worked great in life. I'd find work, have little stress. I go agnostic and things mess up left and
right. I dont LIKE the idea that a fairy tale is making my happy and bringing good into my life. Makes me think it's REAL. I dont know what to think.

I can't find work period, have a misdemeanor from 02 for cashing a work check that was forged i found out later. As I didn't have a bank at the
time, I cashed it at the local grocery. So now I got a retail theft. Mcd's, NO one will hire me cuz of it. I can NOT get it expunged due to info in
the packet i got from the courts - something in there makes my case unexpungable. I think it's cuz i did jail time for it.

I have had tons of job offers but the moment that comes up, they have to reneg the offers.

I'm THISCLOSE to going christian again to let my life get on the right track again. I feel insane for this.

God has nothing to do with Religion..God is a spiritual thing..no dont need to be moslem, christ or whatever to find God. Look in the mirror look into
yourself,in the nature and and and.. you find him everywhere...but the best you can do is follow your heart.

Nah. Just seems things fall into place a LOT easier. I have gotten jobs way easier while playing in the xtian pool. Once I dive in to the agnostic
pool, seems things turn super sour and nothing works out ever.

I often find that doing nothing in frustrating times actually helps. A decision (not to choose) is made and that is the key to letting the mind relax.
The cogs can slow and the gears shift down, a sigh of relief.

In time you may just "know" what you should do and it will seem right and natural, not forced.

I'm agnostic, and I love it

Just me and my ball of dirt hurtling through space with no destinarion but round again. What a ride!

All have faiths have the same God, they just don't know it. Call it God, a higher power or whatever. I don't believe that you have to follow any one
path or religion to be spiritual. Just pray from your heart to God, or higher power or whatever.

In the meantime, we can pray and encourage you to
find the strength and courage you need to continue on.

Forget the job. Unless you find a really high paying job it's not worth it. Here's a thought. Say you buy a small truck or mini van. Using that you
can set up multiple businesses that you do in your community. Such as:

Like there's a ton of things you can do on your own. try place ads online saying you do all these things. Just made up a simple business card for
each. Then just go out and start to offer these types of service. You're bound to get some business which you can do with or without a job. Most of
these things you can learn how to do watching youtube.

As far as Christianity goes, it's not about what you get out of it. It's about servatude. Besides you already know God so you can't bounce around.
It doesn't work like that. Say you feel like you're not practicing your Christianity. So you say you become agnostic. You really not. Because you
already know God on a personal level. Agnostics have never known God on a personal level. (like they don't pray) You just get busy that's all.
That's what happens to almost all Christians. Doesn't mean there no longer Christians. Once the holy spirit enters you're body he's with you
always. You don't tell him "okay go away for a while". He's you're ever present help in times of trouble. Just get back to basics and try and
surround yourself with other Christians.

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