Kevin A. Kierstead, Author
Points on writing, life, and the other thing.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Demeanor Chasms

Picture yourself at work and how you act. Now picture yourself at home and how you act. Finally, picture yourself at a grocery store and how you act there, and how that changes when you meet a friend in the store.

Do you lose your essence in any of those situations? If you do, you're killing your identity. The strongest and greatest people to ever make their way into our history books were describable. Are you describable, or do you change so much between one role and the next that you're a different person?

I believe the words "spirit" and "soul" are too flimsy and imprecise--too open to interpretation. But you have an essence; a thing that most of your casual friends think about right away when they think of you. You're super-nice, or intelligent, or giving, or demanding, or commanding, or sneaky, or unpredictable, or extreme. People think some thing about you. If the people at work and the people at home and your friends are all thinking different things, then you don't know who you are. I could write 10,000 cliches here to help define this: misery loves company, familiarity breeds contempt, distance maketh the heart grow fond... Hell, even Superman was Clark Kent. But if you ask me, that person was only his true self when he was Superman. Fiction aside, many can relate.

The most enduring names in human history have belonged to humans who are describable, and in terms that people from different of their social circles could agree upon. I say you have to have one or two or three big things. I only hope for your own happiness and a little less sorrow in the world that people won't mark you as hateful, angry, or lacking critical thinking skills (or lacking the willingness to use those skills).

Chances are, you have two challenges ahead of you if you want to beat this conundrum. First, crack the nut that is you and have a good, hard look at it and employ changes where necessary to get to who you want to be. Secondly, be that person 'round the clock. I've cracked the nut and remain in inventory stages right now; slow process if you're careful. But the push is on. Good luck.

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40-something. Lots of school, lots of life experience, and lots of questions. Tons of question. Endless questions...
And Amazon Author Profile here (buy a book already, support a writer! ;) ): http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-Kierstead/e/B004LOZ1YG/