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Sam, Attorney at Law

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Experience: 20 years of experience practicing law.

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My ex husband started drinking before he was 18 then started

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My ex husband started drinking before he was 18 then started using drugs and has been a problem since, he is now 37 years old. We divorced in 2003 but separated in 1999 after he was sentence to prison for burglary. Yes I waited for him!! figured it would be my last hope that he would get better and then I would feel better knowing I did everything I could before leaving but 4 days after he was let out he went back to drinking and being physically abusive to me in front of our son and I was done! My son is 14 now has anxiety issues is afraid to go see his father alone. My ex had remarried and had another child who is 7 and currently she is seeking divorce for the same reasons I did. I have got to know what evidence I need to convince a judge that I should have sole custody and he really needs supervised visits. I have police reports that date back to 1998 till 2013 all related to drug incidences, domestic violence, being baker acted at least 3 times, 2 DUI's the last is an injunction his own mother requested and kicked him out of her home. She stated he was abusive, harassing her for money for drugs and told her if she didn't give him money to pay his debt the dealers would shoot up her home with her in it. She stated he wrapped a towel around her neck and his hands while pushing her against a wall and started squeezing. She stated he had a drug problem, drinking problem, and mental problems and is and suppose to be taking medication for it. She recently dropped it to help him with his divorce case and apparently now since I requested a relocation out state because my husband now for 6 years but have been together for 11 years she wants to fight it. My current husbands job told he needed to go do this job and stay until its complete and it would be for at least a year. I have a 3 and 5 year old with my husband now who is a wonderful father to all the children. He is our sole provider and my job we agreed together I would stay at home with kids. My ex hasn't seen our son but once in a year and half and barely calls him. has never been to any of our sons games or school functions or even to his school. His visits in the past were set up by his now soon to be ex wife. What proof do I need, my son is so terrified he will have to see his father alone and so am I. My son told me his nana AKA his grandmother (father's mother) calls him a baby when they argue and when he's scared and wants to call me and go home. They wont let him call me or they spy on his conversations so he wont say anything to me. His father has begged him for money for beer and if wont give it his father makes harasses him and makes him feel bad if he doesn't. His father stole his PSP we got him for x-mas for drugs. His father and wife would get into fights and refuse to let her leave when she wanted. Someone always to get kids from family when things got bad. His father has also stated he was going to say I refused visits for a year and half but that's not true his wife left him that long ago and so she wasn't there set up his visits for him anymore so he didn't bother with him and I just found out she had left him that long ago. The only thing on his record is Burglary (from his mother) and domestic battery (from me). Some reports show where his wife reported his car stolen but he actually had rented it for drugs. There is a domestic violence from his wife but she never pressed charges as he stated to the officer she wouldn't press charges and would recant all of her statements or else and that's what happened she was scared. I just feel like I am at a dead end I cant afford a lawyer I have exhausted my money on them already and it didn't get my son any safety I need help some real good advice please what do I need to do?

I suggest you can file a modification for custody. This is to be done with the same court that has issued the current order. The basis for the modification is that your son is scared. To show that, you can request your son be appointed a Guardian Ad Litem to protect his interests. That fee is shared between the parents.

Additionally, see if you can get his second wife to come and testify that the shared custody is not appropriate. Now that she is divorcing she may want to help you and get even with him more so by coming to your aid. You don't know until you ask

You also may request that your son, who at age 14, be interviewed by the judge as to why he is scared. This interview is conducted in the Judge's Chambers out of earshot of both parents so as not to intimidate the child. And then the judge will take his feelings into consideration when ruling in his best interests

All of those police reports should stand for something and I suggest that you have those ready to present as evidence to the court.

I also suggest, you will want to show how your home environment is in the boy's best interest. You do not want to appear to be trying to keep the Father from seeing and continuing a relationship with his child, so I suggest you will want to have an alternative visitation plan to present to the court

You can get the form for modification from the Clerk of the Court.

You typed a lot of information and so if there are more questions that I have not answered, please follow up with out a rating until I get all the information you desire to you

Remember, I can only answer and provide true and correct information for what you ask.

Otherwise, please rate this service below Good to Excellent so that I may get credit for my time and information. Rating will not close the question and it will always be available for follow ups. A Rating will only close a CHAT and then convert it to a QA where you can always access it.

The GAL is just a suggestion. They work only in the best interest of the child and so they will listen to him and what his concerns are and maybe be able to articulate to the court better than he can.

I think I have answered your question. Remember, I can only answer and provide true and correct information for what you ask.

Otherwise, please rate this service below Good to Excellent so that I may get credit for my time and information. Rating will not close the question and it will always be available for follow ups. A Rating will only close a CHAT and then convert it to a QA where you can always access it.

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

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