‘UH, COACH, I’M NOT WITH YOUR TEAM NOW’

OAKLAND — As I write this from the press box at the World Series, I don’t have much time to elaborate. You never know when Jose Canseco may decide to go after another fly ball.

And now, this week’s picks . . .

* TAMPA BAY 20, DALLAS 14: Jimmy Johnson starts screaming plays to Vinny Testaverde. Vinny finally says, “Coach, I don’t play for you anymore.” * DENVER 23, INDIANAPOLIS 21: Eric Dickerson returned to the team this week. The other Colts said, “Are you the pizza guy? Just put it down over there.” * MIAMI 17, NEW ENGLAND 10: I have a strong hunch on this one. * HOUSTON 31, NEW ORLEANS 20: Steve Walsh spends a year in Dallas, barely plays. He joins New Orleans and is the starter in five minutes. Guess that employment agency really helped out, huh? * BUFFALO 28, NY JETS 23: The battle for New York. Unfortunately, whoever wins it gets mugged on the way home and has to give it up. * WASHINGTON 27, PHILADELPHIA 9: Fans in Philadelphia were booing the Eagles last week. And they won! * LA RAMS 48, ATLANTA FALCONS 40: The Rams used to be a good team that couldn’t win the big one. Now, they’re a good team that can’t win any of them. * KANSAS CITY 23, SEATTLE 20: Oy, Oy, Okoye. * NEW YORK GIANTS 28, PHOENIX 10: How tough is Lawrence Taylor? He walks through Central Park, the muggers leave. * SAN FRANCISCO 20, PITTSBURGH 17: People are saying the 49ers can’t lose. Of course, they said the same thing about the Oakland Athletics. * LA RAIDERS 17, SAN DIEGO 10: Bo Jackson should play in this game — if his powerboat championship, tennis tournament and bobsled practice are over. * CINCINNATI 28, CLEVELAND 10 (Monday night): Unless Bernie Kosar makes a deal to play behind Boomer’s offensive line.