"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible."

Rejected from both Smith and Clark. I'm kind of relieved. Clark was just a throw-in, so I relieved just 'cause now I don't have to look at yet another school I didn't look at too seriously at first. Disappointed about Smith, yes, but kind of relieved too. I liked Smith, but at the same time, I felt like it was almost too much for my mother, as opposed to for me. I'm sure it would have been awesome for me, but I'm glad 'cause now all my options are options I chose directly, without any prompting or encouragement from my mother, and I think I needed that.

I'm starting to like OWU more the more I look. They've also offered me $15k in merit aid, and another $2.5k in work-study, which definitely makes them more attractive, no matter what my mother says about ranking. And I didn't even apply for financial aid there. I'll be visited them for an overnight stay from April 18 - 19th. Just booked the flight now, actually.

I'm staying overnight at Hampshire from the 16 - 17th. I was going to go to RIT again, but it's not working out with my schedule and I've already gone once anyways.

I'm hitting the slight panic about choosing now, which is why when Clark's letter came, I was practically happy about it, because I didn't have to face another option and more research and more worry about picking the 'wrong' school. My dad's pretty much being supportive of anything I do - he's happy that I'm looking at the money OWU's giving me. OWU also has a scholarship later for their Dean's List that would cover half of the tuition I have remaining, at the moment, so that's a plus, as long as I keep my grades up, which I will, I've promise myself. Especially if there's big money on the line.

My mom's being a pain. She keep saying, "It's your choice." But you can tell she's lying because then she says, "You should go to RIT because the program you chose is ranked very high." And then I say, "I'm don't like RIT as much as Hampshire or OWU." And she gets wicked mad and snapped at me and my dad and made my dad buy the plane tickets for my OWU visit. Which I'm attending alone, by the way.

I'm starting to think OWU might be it. I know I wanted to stay closer before, but I'm liking OWU's persona thus far, their money is nice, their curriculum seems closer to Hampshire than like, Holy Cross, and it's in Delaware and close to Columbus. Could you help me find out some more of what's being said about it and it's business curriculum? I'm having trouble finding concrete information.

Hampshire's still a bit too rural for me, I'm thinking, but I love the academics to bits, so if I end up there, I can take the social hit. Although it's actually the most expensive right now. They offered me $6k in merit aid, but that only brings costs down to $45k. RIT is around $45k. And OWU will end up being $30k. My parents keep telling me not to worry about the money, they'll pay it, but I can't not worry about the money . . . they're not getting younger and my brother's still attending private school, which means for the next four years, they'll be paying my brother's tuition ( high school tuition, $40k a year ) as well as my college tuition. Not gonna lie, I might pick OWU just based on that alone, whatever my parents say. But also, I'm kind of leaning towards OWU because they've proven, with my merit aid, that the grades aren't what's important to them, and I really appreciate and like that.

But anyways, that's where I'm standing now! Oh, and still nothing from UMass Amherst, but, eh.

- Christine

Oh, and for those of you who were curious: at the end of junior year, I officially had a 2.535 GPA. Right now, I'm pretty sure it's 3.0ish.

Names have always held a certain amount of power for me. Every so often, it changes. I'm always Christine, but there are always other phases. It's not any kind of identity crisis. It's just me recognizing that I've moved beyond one section of my life.

My parents named me Yang, but I threw that away ages ago.

The middle school me called myself Kisara, 'cause she was a rebel ( and a brat ) like that.

Arya Tai has been good for me too. It was kind of the after-Drexel thing. Where I guess I finally just kind of stood up and said " fuck you god " and stopped depending on people.

It's like fasting. Y'know? When you have something that you've given up, or your don't have anymore, for a while at first, you miss it, but then you get used it not having it and you don't really care anymore. But then the fast is broken, and suddenly you had another taste of it and you want it again.

Before this Saturday, the last decent makeout session I've had was way back in like, May.

I broke my 'fast' this Saturday night with Mr. Matt-the-actor-from-Newburyport-high-while-dancing-for-a-ridiculously-long-time-together.

Rachel: Why do you pick up guys so easily?Me: 'Cause I dance like a - [silence]Rachel: [cracks up]

xP

I've never had more fun in like two hours ever. Between the dance and the awards ceremony . . . a cute guy's number ( and many many dances/more with him ) and two awards ( Stage Manager's Choice + set design ). Uhm, good night? Fuck yes.

I got into fucking college. Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that what you were afraid of not happening? Didn't you spend two hours on the car ride to the Smith/Hampshire interview telling me that I wouldn't get accepted anywhere and that I was such a failure and why did you ever bother trying to make me see sense?

Fuck you, alright? I don't need you. You could've at least said "congrats". "I don't have time for you"? Really? I'm your fucking daughter. If you don't have two seconds to say congrats you got into college then what the fuck are you doing with all your time?

Go fuck yourself. I don't need you. But when Allen gets into MIT, you better tell him "congrats". Because he does ( for some stupid stupid reason ) need you and I swear I will fucking kill you if you hurt him like you hurt me.