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Honk, which way you going, China?

A woman with a child on her bicycle navigates through Beijing traffic.Photo: AP

Geoff McClureJuly 3, 2008

AS OUR photograph taken in Beijing's central business district
this week shows, traffic jams are still commonplace despite there
being just 36 days to the Olympic Games opening ceremony. Spare a
thought not just for the drivers, not one of whom appears to have
anywhere to go, but also for the woman with a child on her bicycle
trying to navigate her way through it all. But at least something
is now being done about what, we're told, is a common-day
occurrence in Beijing. This week, authorities tackled the combined
problem of traffic chaos and air pollution by forcing 300,000
vehicles  all of them high polluters  off the capital's
roads. What's more, all cars registered outside Beijing will from
now have to obtain special permits and meet emission standards
before being allowed to enter the capital. Eventually more than one
million cars will have disappeared from Beijing streets by next
month, their owners not being allowed to drive them again until
September 20. All this in a city that last year registered 1370 new
drivers EVERY day. Scary.

Why Warnie's text message went awry

WHATEVER you thought of Kevin Pietersen's switch-hitting
slogs during that incredible England-New Zealand one-day
international last month, we're tipping you at least had an opinion
about it. What cricket fan didn't? And that extends to Pietersen's
old sparring partner Shane Warne, who has finally thrown in
his tuppence's worth on the bizarre and unorthodox batting display,
not only providing KP with a glowing report on it, but the former
spin king calling on his favourite form of communication 
text messaging  to tell him so personally. Alas, not all went
as planned, Warnie revealing in his Times column in Britain
this week that Pietersen must have changed his mobile telephone
number "because there was no reply". Needless to say, Warne just
loved what he saw when he caught up with the highlights of
Pietersen's left-handed sixes on the TV. "I think we are finally
scratching the surface of his talent," wrote Warne. "I sent him a
text straight away to say: "Outrageous, love it, well played." What
a pity it disappeared into thin air.

But a tut, tut for England's Collingwood

WARNE hasn't liked everything he has seen about England's cricket
in recent weeks, though, not least skipper Paul
Collingwood's crazy decision not to recall New Zealand batsman
Grant Elliot, who was run out after a collision mid-pitch
going for a run. Warne, you may remember, sledged Collingwood
unmercifully during the last Ashes series in Australia but he told
The Times the England all-rounder has always played the game
in the right spirit and "is a fighter and a bloke you would want in
your side". Warne wrote that what Collingwood did at The Oval was a
mistake and "is something that he will have to live with". Added
Warne: "But what disappointed me was that he had time to weigh up
the options. He will now always be known as the man who did not
show the right sportsmanship when he had the opportunity."

Strauchanie to rescue

PLENTY of funny scenes during Tuesday night's E.J. Whitten Legends
game. Plenty of funny moments behind the scenes as well. Like
during the first-quarter break when Victorian coach Chris
Connolly drew his players into a huddle and tried to inspire
them with a rousing speech. Just as they started to disperse, that
man Strauchanie (aka comedian Peter Hellier)
appeared, offering his own words of motivation. "Don't drop your
heads boys," he said. "Strauchanie will be back in the second
quarter."

Got his foot back

THEFT has become a bit of a common problem at Legends games. But
after Troy Luff's football boots were stolen last year,
security was stepped up this year, although officials still
expected to see the odd football or jumper disappear. But they
weren't expecting to see a foot from the Clark Rubber mascot,
Clarkee, under the arm of an enterprising fan. The fan  and
the foot  didn't get too far though, with security able to
return the limb to Clarkee intact.

White on, Darryl

DARRYL White almost didn't make it to the Legends game.
Organisers spent months trying to track him down across several
states using several phone numbers but managed to locate him with
just days to spare. When asked whether he would play, White
replied: "Yeah, of course I'm coming down." He's glad he did. He
was man of the match.

Legendary figures

LEGEND match organisers were delighted with the record crowd of
24,452 (double that of last year), as was Channel Nine with its
ratings. The match attracted 538,000 viewers (peaking at an
incredible 675,000 at 9.16pm), making it the third-highest footy
audience of the year behind Channel Ten's Hall of Fame tribute
match and the Anzac Day game.

The long-distance Tiger fan

WE told you yesterday of the 90-year-old who bought a 100-year
membership at Richmond's 100-year celebrations. We discover now
that one of the other five fans to do so was a bloke who doesn't
even live in Melbourne but keeps up his membership while residing
in Surrey, England, and manages to attend just a couple of games a
year. Forty-year-old Fraser Rettie arrived in Melbourne last
Thursday, went to the function the next evening (when he bought the
$20,500 membership), saw the match on Saturday and flew home to the
UK this week. Not sure what Rettie intends to eventually do with
the membership  he doesn't have any children, and his
sister's kids barrack for Carlton!

More Pimm's please

ENGLAND'S economy may be in trouble but you wouldn't know it going
on the figures from the first week of Wimbledon. The overall
attendance was 242,262, up 20,741 on last year, and between them
those fans drank 120,000 glasses of Pimm's, compared with 150,000
for the entire tournament last year. Even sales of strawberries
were up, by 150% on last year, despite prices going up for the
first time in five years.

Who said that?

I'm going to sabotage her and eat all the breakfast.

SERENA WILLIAMS on how she plans to conquer her sister Venus
should they make the Wimbledon singles final.

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A woman with a child on her bicycle navigates through Beijing traffic.