The Forty Project

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I feel great today -- gorgeous, powerful, confident, content. It is a feeling that I am trying to savor and hold on to for the new year. And, trust me -- it has nothing to do with any number on a scale, or what size pants I am wearing. It's all me, baby, all from within. I don't know from where it came, but I hope it decides to stay a while.

Look for my new blog starting January 5th (that's a Monday, *groan*), over at

Monday, December 29, 2008

Wow, I sure went MIA there, didn't I? Like many folks I let the holidays get the best of me in more ways than one. In the first place, I am sort of a grinch when it comes to the holiday season. I usually don't get into it until it has passed, really. By then there's nowhere to go with it! Ha ha. So, mentally and emotionally I'm not in the best place this time of year in general, with this year being that much harder with the loss of my stepdad.

Regardless I managed to have an OK time, and even have plans for both new year's eve AND new year's day -- that never happens! The downside of all this is that my eating has been, frankly, terrible. Whatever reprieve I had a few weeks ago from making bad choices went out the window since. But, I am fully preparing for a fresh start in the new year, all set to go once January 5th hits! I am excited to start exercising again, and gaining control of what goes in my mouth. I've sort of been having a free-for-all lately.

I do feel pretty yucky physically, to be honest. I feel that I have let myself go, and I don't like the sensation. I don't like that the clothes are fitting tighter, that walking an expansive parking lot makes me out of breath again. I know it won't take long to fix myself up again, and I am glad I have my plans to do it.

I still haven't picked out a new blog title yet, but believe me -- you will know it. I hope all of you will decide to come follow me to my new spot on the internets as I make my way to the next goal.

Thanks to all of you this past year who have been so supportive and kind. Here's to a wonderful, fresh new year with all kinds of prospects!

Monday, December 15, 2008

I'm so happy with the results of the scale lately. My relationship with food also seems to be on the mend, too, after those couple free-for-all weeks I had. I haven't been tracking food, but being mindful of what I am eating. I'm seeking out more recipes to try, using good foods. It's not all, like, "lite" recipes and things, but recipes that include perhaps a lot of veggies and lots of care. I don't know. Trying to avoid JUNK, mostly. So, cereal for breakfast, still lots of citrus, a leftovers lunch (today, tomorrow, and maybe the next day: porcini mushroom and gorgonzola risotto), a meat/potatoes/veggies dinner. The evening snacking issue has seemed to be a less critical concern lately, too, just naturally.

Maybe sometimes when you let go, things even out if you are still determined to treat your body well. Maybe if all you are concerned about is dropping pounds it will never become natural, or good.

I don't know how long it will take me to figure this stuff out once and for all. Maybe a lifetime? But I am going to stick with it, even if it is in a more passive way.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Fear not, dear readers -- I will certainly let you know when and to where I will be taking my blogging come the new year. I will put the info in the final post here, as well as in the sidebar so you won't be able to miss it!

I am really looking forward to 2009. I have so many plans up my sleeve, and ideas about who and what I want to be. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy the rest of 2008 as much as possible, and treat myself as best as I can. It's all about love.

I had a special surprise when I got home from work last night -- dinner just about ready in the oven and a clean boyfriend all freshly showered! Ah, sometimes it is the little things that can really make your day. We had a lovely dinner of little baked chuck steaks and baked potatoes with steamed broccoli and a dash of cheese sauce. Good stuff!

There's a fun, busy, productive weekend ahead. I am thankful for so many things.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I was pleased to see that I am back down to 312-and-something today. Must be all the citrus I am eating lately -- I bought a box of oranges and grapefruit for a fundraiser from a co-worker last week!

I'm lucky to have so many smart readers here -- you all have such great ideas! My plan is to get back to the 310 area (or below, of course) and call The 40 Project about losing 40 pounds in a year. Then, on January 1st, I will start a new blog and new everything else -- FitDay or Sparkpeople, Physics Diet, maybe even a new scale. Yes, definitely a new scale. Now I just need to come up with a catchy title for the new blog, but I have some time. :)

Thanks to you all who are so awesome reading and commenting. I know I say it all the time, but it is true -- sometimes YOU are literally what keeps me going on any given day. It's YOU who makes it so I don't just give up altogether. You help me believe in me, and for that I am forever indebted.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I can't even bring myself to report to you my weigh-ins lately. It's gotten pretty bad, to tell the truth. After an especially indulgent weekend (for no good reason, really), I really saw it on the scale. OK, basically I gained 6 pounds over the weekend, if you can believe it.

I'm down a pound today, which is good, but I am still just not feeling "into it" lately. I've got all kinds of crap floating around in my head that just complicates things (unrelated to food or anything), haven't been in the best mindspace overall.

I am still determined not to go back to where I started, though. Just so you know. I really am going to contain this. To be honest, I am looking forward to the new year and fresh beginnings. 2008 held many great accomplishments and good times for me, but I also experienced much loss and sadness. This morning, in fact, I found out that my cat Rose, who's been living with my mom for the past thirteen years, had to be put to sleep last night. She's been sick and had bladder cancer, so it's not a huge surprise, but it still hurts. And knowing that my mom is dealing with even more loss is especially upsetting. I know she is looking forward to saying goodbye to 2008.

I've been considering starting a new blog to replace this one in the new year, and to not renew my Daily Plate gold membership. I'm going to return to Fitday or sign up at Sparkpeople instead. Speaking of which, they had a link to a good, timely article in their e-newsletter today, which you can read here. It reminded me that no matter how things have ended this year, I have still lost at least 10% of my starting weight -- nothing to sneeze at, for sure. It's important to recognize any amount of success any of us have at this game, and this article was a great reminder of that.

In the meantime, I'm going to do the best I can to not gain more weight in the next few weeks, and maybe even get back down to good old 305 by the beginning of January, and go from there.

Friday, December 5, 2008

No one is as surprised as I am about this week. I will cherish it always.

I think I can sense the almost-nothing-but-junk-food lifestyle getting old, actually. I've been more tired than usual, and I don't know... it's not THAT much fun eating crap all the time. Like anything else, you get sick of it eventually, don't you?

(Written as I just finished a second breakfast from Dunkin' Donuts -- when I wasn't even really hungry since I ate a nice bowl of cereal earlier! As Red Forman would say, "Dumbass!" It was one of those stupid impulse buys that I regretted pretty much the moment I left the store.)

It's early in the day, though, so I have plenty of time to make up for that somewhat.