Groomsmen's Blog

How Valuable is a Kiss? Can it Wait Until Marriage?

The trend of kissing abstinence is creeping its way into the mainstream ever since the oldest Duggar devirginized his lips during "A Very Duggar Wedding" on TLC's 18 Kids and Counting. There are other stories out there like the engaged abstinence teachers from Chicago "who practice what they preach" or this summer's supposed heart warmer of a twenty-two year old Tennessee girl waiting until the alter for those magical sparks. The theme of monogamous kissing was so strong at this wedding; the groom gave out ChapStick as groomsmen gifts.

Why is there so much value on the first kiss?

The Virgin Lip Movement has the sweet stench of fundamentalism. While not all their followers place kissing and sex in the same boat, the Virgin Lip Movement believes that kissing is a gateway drug to "more intimate activities," says Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

I remember my first kiss being as awkward as my entire battle with puberty. I was about thirteen, and I took my first girlfriend to the movies. When I finally planted one on her, I shoved my tongue; so far down her throat I could play tonsil hockey. It was terrible, but there's something very personal about my first kiss. There is no way I'd want my closest friends and family there as witnesses.

The problem with the Virgin Lip Movement doesn't have anything to do with people kissing or not, but it has everything to do with people comparing kissing to an evil drug. Living in a world where a makeout session is vial and disgusting until someone says the magical words "I do" can really screw with a person's identity. If there's no middle ground on the spectrum between slut and saint, at what point does hand holding become unacceptable? A better question, how does suppressing every natural instinct until one magical day benefit the marriage?

This Duggar kid, the two abstinence teachers and the young girl from Tennessee have another strange similarity: They're giving away their first kiss and losing their virginity all in the same day. Talk about an awkward first kiss; just imagine how awkward the wedding night will be.

Do you think it's worth it to wait for marriage for your first kiss? Answer our poll or comment below!