Poor troubled Terminator 3 actor Nick Stahl now has a glossy senior picture in the Paul Reubens Academy Yearbook: Stahl was arrested around dinnertime last night for jerking off in the private booth of a porn store in Hollywood. The LAPD booked him for a misdemeanor (lewd conduct) and he was released a few hours later. He told a TMZ cameraman that the arrest was a "misunderstanding," as if he was obviously just crocheting a hat or petting a dog who is looks just like his penis, and the whole thing just got toooootally out of hand. I guess this is what he does when he's not straight-up Apparating away to points unknown. :-|

Following his arrest for lewd conduct, Fred Willard's lawyer released a statement today:…
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After spending the fall in a trial reconciliation with Kristen Stewart after the horror of Ye Olde Rupert Sanders Vertical Dry Hump Extravaganza, Robert Pattinson has told her that the ultimate decision will be made on February 14th. Source: "Rob's planning to skip most of the upcoming awards parties and spend January focusing on his relationship. He's set a Valentine's Day deadline to decide whether he's in it for the long run. So there could be a proposal on the cards - or a decision to end it." DUM DUM DUMMMM. [Now Magazine]

As if Kate Winslet's
life as the new Mrs. Ned Rocknroll
had any more room for absurdity, her husband's uncle, UK space magnate Sir Richard Branson
gave her a £124,000 ticket to take a two-hour flight 60 miles above earth. The ticket was a thank-you for Winslet's saving his mother, Eve, from a fire last year. I told you it was absurd. [Telegraph
]

How did Brangelina spend Christmas? Glad you asked. They're in the Caribbean. Specifically, "they're at Donna's [Karan's] house, without Donna, and have been loving the island because it is so secluded. Angelina's taken the kids to Karan's yoga spa. They've been running around the island with no care in the world, and relaxing." They also brought Brad's mom Jane with them, 'cause nothing says "kicking back in the tropics" quite like a crotchety old homophobe. [Page Six]

Bronson Pelletier, some werewolf from Twilight, got charged with public intoxication. [TMZ]

Someone asked Helena Bonham Carter if she was jealous of Johnny Depp's friendship with her husband Tim Burton and she said, ''No, because Tim is not having sex with Johnny. No, I rejoice in the friendship." [TV3.ie]

Eyeroll, retina sprain: Johnny Depp named a beach after Amber Heard as a present. [Entertaintmentwise]

Chris Brown had a tattoo of Karrueche Tran's name removed at Rihanna's behest. [The Sun]

And here is a tourism ad for Barbados starring a very wholesome-looking Ri-Ri. [Bossip]

The Katie Holmes Broadway show Dead Accounts is closing early due to poor ticket sales. [Vulture]

Shakira's boyfriend Gerard Pique might be fucking with everyone on Twitter by announcing the birth of their son as a prank on Dia de los Innocentes (which is like Spain's April Fools Day). [Daily Mail]