There are so many unexpected things that have happened to me in the process of “growing” spiritually. One of the most interesting things to try to work through is convincing myself that it’s not all in my head. That the things that I hear, or the things that I sense and feel are real. This has been confirmed time and time again, and I STILL have such a hard time relinquishing control of the things I can’t see/control/understand. For example, when I first started meditating, clearing blockages, and starting to do some of the harder work, peoples names would pop into my head randomly. They weren’t just random people though, they are people from my past that I had a connection with for one reason or another.

One woman I knew from high school, and her name was the first to come up. I actually babysat her son for quite some time, and her son and I have always been very connected. It was a time in my life, when my own wife was having a hard time getting pregnant, and me and that little guy connected. He brought so much light into my life. It forced me to go out for walks, play in the leaves, feel the sun on my skin. Otherwise, I would have stayed home and really lost myself in the sadness of not being able to be a parent. Needless to say, her name was the first one I heard. I couldn’t shake it, so I looked her up. Wouldn’t you know, she had completely revamped her Inst.agram page to reflect the spiritual journey that she was on. We connected, and right in time, as it made it easier to realize that I wasn’t the only person this was happening to. And even better, I knew her to be similar to me. Not your average, stereotypical (for lack of better terminology) “hocus pocus” kinda cultish, weirdo psychic that so many people are used to perceiving as mediums, or empaths, or clairvoyant/audient/sentient people. It was nice that I knew, for a fact, that she was…well, normal. We connected, and we are both helping each other on this journey, and it’s been such a nice relationship to have during this process.

It’s happened several other times. 3, to be exact, where I heard their names, clear as day, and sure enough, I look them up, I seek them out, I kind of give them an inkling of what’s been going on with me, and BOOM! The connection is made, an incredulous, “YOU TOO!!!! OMG!!! NO FREAKING WAY!” happens, and we’ve been meeting up, talking, helping each other, and understanding that we are all on different “missions” to bring whatever it is we have to bring to the world table. It’s really been awesome and so beautiful to reconnect with these people and figure out NOW exactly why we were put in each others lives. It confirms that this isn’t “all in my head”.

Last Friday, I had a pretty interesting and intense experience. I meditated in the morning on my commute to work, and I asked my guides to continue to guide me on my mission in this life. To continue to allow me to find and complete my purpose. It got me thinking about the time that I went to Callie’s aunts house (she is a master reiki healer, spiritualist, and Intuitive) and she told me that my guide Susan connected with me because she had committed suicide (by hanging) and her energy really resembled mine. That she really connected to me. Which to me made plenty of sense. Interestingly enough, there was one time when I tried to take my own life (by hanging) and the extension cord broke. I should say, the extension cord was cut, but no one was home with me. I awoke, on the floor, convulsing, with no recollection of what had happened until I read my journal entry from about 20 minutes before. It was interesting that she would mention that, without having known that about my life. So when I was sitting at my computer and I heard Susan Jamison**, considering all of the connections I’ve made when I heard a name in my head, I decided to google it.

You wouldn’t believe what I came across. It was a post, on a website for people whose family members had committed suicide. I started reading the story that this mother was writing about her daughter, who in junior year of high school had taken her own life. They found her outside, but before I even finished the text, I knew how it ended, and I saw her mom, on the edge of the bed, with an item that I couldn’t discern, passing it back and forth in her hands. And I knew, I had to reach out to her, but how? So I searched Susan’s name again, with some extra key words, and sure enough, her mom had been picked to be featured in a book similar to the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series about what I assume are parents who lost their children to suicide, and it listed a name. I googled the name, and Mom was the first FB entry to show up. I found her, searched her page, and saw Susan’s face. The hairs stood up on the back of my neck, my head started tingling, my palms got sweaty, and I couldn’t shake the fact that I felt like I NEEDED to reach out to her mother.

So I did………Friends, it was so beautiful to be able to give her the following message…

“…Susan is telling me to tell you that she loves you so much, and that she is happy and at peace. She said that you keep something of hers and you look it at it at night and pass it between your hands. The times that you have felt a hand or a soft touch on your shoulder, it’s her….She doesn’t blame you, but she knew that there was something important for her to do….”

The wildest thing is, before I write ANYTHING anymore, I pray that I have help finding the right words. I don’t even really remember writing this stuff, which makes it more interesting. About 2 hours later, I receive a response…

and even today…

I was accurate…and this is what I mean…I have to start trusting myself, and my gut, and the messages that I receive, because they make a difference. They are valid. Maybe, all these years, all this time, it really WAS in my head, and that, I’m starting to realize, is a beautiful thing….

Every year, before the new year rolls around, for a couple of years now actually, I scour the innanets for any and everything Predictions 20**. This year, was no different! As my trolling searching was underway, there was one particular site I was drawn to. Considering that I have been doing this annually for about 5 y ears or so, it was interesting that I hadn’t seen this page before. It is also about 5 years old. After a little over a week of combing through his blog posts, I was convinced that his worldwide predictions were in fact true (about 90% of them! I KNOW!) and I sort of became obsessed like I haven’t in the past. I also think it was a welcome distraction from the streaming of CNN and MSNBC with all of it’s addictive (and divisive) election coverage, so it made it a little easier to get sucked in. I kept convincing myself not to get a reading from him (no frivolous spending rule), but my gut kept telling me, “Just do it! What have you got to lose? He’s pretty accurate right? You can prove that! Just do it!” So I sent him an email. A day later I get a response that the day and time I wanted was available, and that as soon as I submitted my payment through Pa.yPal we were good to go, and he would give me all of the instructions I needed.

Email? Check! Payment? Check! Instructions? CHECK! I was to send him an email, with only my first name , birth time, current time zone, and age. And at 1pm EXACTLY on November 7th (the day before the election results), I had my reading. He called, confirmed the information, took 2-3 minutes to connect to Spirit, asked if I was ready, to which I almost replied, “uh, DUH!” before I realized, “that’s proooooobably, not the best response!”, actually said, “Yes, please” (which, why!?!), and then the first thing he said was, “They are telling me that I need to tell you (pause)……..you’re Clairaudient.” To which I said (outloud) “Oh, cool…”, but also (in my head) “DAFUQ is dat!?!?”

“So, Clairaudience means ‘clear hearing’. Basically, you hear messages from your guides. You have been hearing them for a while, and you’re guides have been trying to communicate with you for a long time. That incessant ringing in your ears and the constant popping even when you’ve been sitting in the same place all day (cue panic because since Austin was born, it hasn’t stopped!), that’s them. That’s when you break that plane and the frequency changes…Spirit is trying to get your attention (his fingers snapping quickly) like they’re saying ‘Hey! Listen up! We’re tryna tell you something!”

And from there it all changed. He told me things about my life that there was no way he could have known, like not getting discouraged about not getting the promotion that I went for recently, that there is something better than that coming for me, and that it is the next step in my movement upwards! I like that shit! It’s classy! He also told me that I have children, and one is similar to the other as in twins (accurate!) and that one of my boys, (the dark haired one, also accurate!) had flames coming out of his head (which scared the crap outta me) but it turns out it means that he’s special too….my son is a healer! He mentioned that my wife Callie is as close to my soulmate as it gets…and I love that, because I honestly felt it the second I laid eyes on that woman (we married on 111, and our kids were born on 111, as if that’s not one of the most divine numbers!), and it hasn’t faltered since. So many things, which I could not ignore, so I felt like I had no choice BUT to believe him.

I started researching, I started praying, I started meditating and learning to tap into my ability/ies (there’s possible claricognizance – ‘clear knowing’), but I have to be honest. I think tapping in is where this journey started, but it has completely morphed into making ME better. The best way to elevate yourself to change your frequency, to change your vibration, is to practice LOVE, COMPASSION, and KINDNESS to all living things, but especially ourselves. And in doing so, you attract those things, because, you know, laws of attraction and stuff.

Guys, the self talk about how terrible, untalented, mean, ugly, scared, cowardly, fat, weak I am was, was so intense that it did not allow me to really connect with this beautiful soul that I have, and not just me, but like, EVERYONE! I wasn’t connecting with others in the way that I now know is possible (and incredibly beautiful!). The interesting thing too though, is that all of these physical symptoms of “Awakening” that I started experiencing the very next day as I sat with my best friend, completely flabbergasted by the results, and feeling a heaviness that I have never felt in my life. A terrible night of sleeplessness and fear, I woke, got ready for work, and headed out the door. I wish there were words to describe the heaviness that I felt. The fear, the despair, the anger, and even, the joy of the people around me. It was the strangest sensation, smack in the middle of my chest. Almost like anxiety feels but heavier, and disassociated somehow, if that makes sense, like it wasn’t mine. All day, and then the next 3 days, until I spoke to a friend who told me about prayers to Archangels, and crystals and stones to help keep negative energy away, or at least lessen it, and who taught me to envelop myself in a bubble of light for protection, and I pray for her and her family to be blessed every day, because how she showed me to protect myself is something I cannot repay…the information she gave me is invaluable! I’m truly so, so grateful to her, and to all of the people who have re-entered my life in this time of enlightenment. Since that day, since 11/7, I have been receiving messages. Since then, I have meditated and connected with my Spirit Guides, and I have connected with people from my past who are also on a very spiritual journey that (bless the Universe) make me feel a little less….crazy…

If I’m being honest here, we all have the ability to silence our minds (with a bit practice), connect with our inner self, our loved ones, our Spirit Guides (who are with us, legit, ALL. THE. TIME!) and find so much peace and love and kindness. Have your ears been ringing/popping/pulling/feeling plugged constantly? Can you not get rid of the heaviness in your chest? Have your dreams been more and more vivid, pulling people from random times in your life that you somehow still feel really connected to? The incessant headaches? The ridiculously emotional responses to everything (everything makes you cry, or laugh, and things just feel more intense suddenly)? You too friend, might be awakening. Maybe with a little meditation, and a little self-love and kindness, you might awaken too….after all, as a dear friend of mine says, We all have the potential to be Superheroes….

I guess that really IS where I need to start, huh? This is all so new to me, and I wasn’t even sure if the words should be put down, mainly for fear of judgement, but also, because the idea of people writing me off because I pray, or I meditate, and ::gasp!:: I connect with my Spirit Guides was really loaded for me. Since “being believed” has been a recurrent theme in my life, I figured this would be one of those kind of things, but the more I talk to people, the more that I am connecting with people, the more that I pray and meditate and change my vibration, the more others, just like me, are coming into my life.
Doctors, lawyers, construction workers, black, white, Latino, Asian, PhD’s and GED’s…all of them, with “gifts”…with things I only heard about on Paranormal shows, or show’s about mediums, those are the type of people I am meeting, and usually, we can recognize each other with a glance, a simple genuine smile. Those are the people that the universe is bringing into my life lately that keep reminding me that this is real, and that I’m not crazy. I’ve had some psych stuff in my life, but nothing that millions of other people haven’t experience and been through before: suicide attempt, in-patient treatment, severe OCD, out-patient treatment, but all of that stuff has made me so self aware of when I start dipping into a cycle of depression, that I absolutely, without a doubt, KNEW that I wasn’t losing it. It was very clear and I was very aware, the first time that I meditated and made contact with my spirit guide, Susan (she’s the main one), Evelyn (she’s a much softer energy), Kyle, and James (I’m still working on connecting to them more). I closed my eyes, focused on the sounds around me and hearing every single one without focusing on a single thing…and then, I said, “if this is real, then, Hello!” and sure as you can imagine, clear as day, I heard, right behind my left hear “We’re here…” and my heart felt like it felt the first time I laid eyes on Callie (my wife), or the first time I heard my son cry a nanosecond after being born, or the way I felt when I delivered our 3rd son, but BIGGER! On a scale like I’ve never felt before, exponentially greater, and they filled my heart like nothing I have ever experienced…

“We’ve always been here….”

“Oh my god!” and I nervous laughed, and they laughed too….

After the inititial shock wore off, “Who’s…WE?”

“Susan, Kyle, James, and Evelyn, lyn, lyn…..”

And all I could do was cry, and thank them…for everything…because friends, I’m Clairaudient, and I have been my entire life….I just didn’t know it….