Parenting our Bee after infertility

Finding the new me

I head back to work in pretty much 2 months, and we’ve just started the ball rolling with searching for the nanny who’ll look after Lady G while I’m at work 2 days a week (with another day working from home initially).

Despite being on the council childcare waiting list since I was 14 weeks pregnant, we’ve been told I won’t get any option for care until at least January – that’s over an 18 month waiting list. I looked around at some of the private care centres, but just haven’t felt any of them are right (and there were only 2 that had places available anyway). I’ve also heard mixed things about having bubs in childcare when they are very young, so we’ve decided to go the nanny route.

In order to keep costs down, we are going to be sharing a nanny with another mum from my mums’ group, which will hopefully work well. If it doesn’t, I guess we have the option of either going solo, or hoping a place in one of the council centres opens up next year.

I’ve been lucky that because my working hours are ‘non-standard’ (outside of 8.30-5.30), I’m eligible for the Child Care Rebate, which will cover 50% of the cost of care up to around $7K a year – pretty much a day a week, which will be a big help, especially when my days at work increase next year.

So, yeah, it’s happening. I’m going back to work. I always knew I would, but I’ve been allowing myself to not think about it, so that I can really enjoy this year off with her. And while I’ve been looking forward to getting back into some creative thinking, the reality is starting to hit home that I will be leaving my baby with someone else.

I’m pretty sure that this is par for the course. At the moment I’m leaving my baby with some unknown individual – but once we find the right person, and we both get to know them, we’ll be sharing her care with someone who also has her best interests at heart.

With both sets of family overseas, The Baron and I have pretty much no support network, and I think being able to have someone else to rely on, and to give G stimulation and care will be good for both of us. While I know I will feel pulled between two worlds, I also hope that with a little more variation to my days I’ll have more energy when we’re together so that we both enjoy it more.

I’ve found the past few months fun, but if I’m honest it’s becoming a little monotonous of late. Monday: wake, breakfast, nap, change the bedding, do a white wash, take G to swimming, do a dark wash, nap… I joke that this is why women in the 60s became addicted to valium and gin – but I think there’s some truth to that!