A pastor's wife writes about intentionally respecting and being good to your husband

Author Becky Hunter believes "I will because God will" should be a wife's basis of interaction with her husband—not "I will if he will." "In other words, purpose to live and love for God and experience wife-life without regret."

"Purposing to be good to your husband doesn't stifle you—it frees you; it doesn't degrade you—it lifts you up; it doesn't require obedience—it requires choosing to serve Christ in a simple, challenging way," she adds. "Christ is the One who can give you both a desire to be your best and the strength to make the effort."

"If the idea of being a respectful helper ticks you off, I'm not surprised," she writes. "Nothing about the way most of us were raised, formally educated, encouraged by friends, or instructed by the media would indicate that the words respectful helper should be used to define a wife.

"If your mental image of a respectful, helpful wife does not come from Scripture, then you are left with an irritating misconception—that submission looks the same in every relationship," she adds. "The woman turns into a doormat. Nothing could be further from the truth."

A former biology teacher, Hunter notes that God created wives to be women of strength and passion. "If you live like a wimp, you have definitely missed the point," she writes. "Accepting the role of wife with a spirit of resignation won't work either, and it is not fun. On the other hand, purposing to be good to your husband—giving him the very best you have to offer—opens your life to incredible continual input from God."

Becky Hunter is the wife of Joel Hunter, senior pastor at 6,500-strong Northland: A Church Distributed, located near Orlando, Fla. Hunter, who has been married for more than 30 years, encourages wives to be "respectful helpers" to their husbands. He has recently authored a book by this theme entitled Being Good to Your Husband on Purpose.