Skateboarding

DISCLAIMER: The original author of the following article may or may not have been cucked by Daewon Song, and his unusually large Asian penis. - The Management

Skate boarding (also known as Edgy Stoner Plank and the skateboarders being known as "Neo Nazi Fucktards, Rollerboys or to the Layman, Faggots,) is a unique activity because no one does it because they actually enjoy skateboarding, they're really only skating in order to be absorbed into the pathetic, douche skater sub-culture and because they don’t have enough money for a car or a girlfriend.

While swimmers may swim just to enjoy swimming, skaters are always there because being a wigger/emo/hipster just fell out of style in their middle-class, white suburbs. Having such a diverse pool of applicants is partially the reason, the other being ugliness, for the fail cocktail that is the skater’s appearance. Just add the dirty, long hair of the emo with the style of the hipster and top it off with demeanor of the wigger, and you now have the animated pro-abortion poster that is the skater. Also it is important to take note that the above average mortality rate associated with skateboarding does not mean the activity is unsafe, merely that people love hitting skaters with their car because the skateboarders are often too stupid to get out of the way and if the do have the necessary 3 brain cells needed to move their legs out of the way, they are often stoned to the point that they think they are philosophers and start questioning the cosmos as to why an SUV suddenly appeared in the Skatepark and is running down everyone it sees.

It is well known that skaters perceive the world differently from non-sick people, because unlike you and me, skaters along with their Faggoty cousins the Rollerbladers and snowboarders, see the world as a giant playground for their faggotry.

(Showing pictures of hackers) I got some of these from the police department, but it is quite similar (to skateboarding)... What they (hackers) do is very similar to our creative process.. It is the heart of ingenuity, it is the heart of a creative community, an innovative community..

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—Rodney Mullen proving that skaters are criminalsTedtalk

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Having a girlfriend that skates is as bad as having a girlfriend that strips!