wearing my tin hat

I love how Z*gi shippers truly believe in their little minds that Ziam shippers don’t give a fuck about Zayn’s career, like bitch, I be bopping to all of Zayn’s songs believing he would be singing to Liam out of fun and making fun of himself and stuff. But you know I’ll just wear my tin hat coz apparently that’s all we are right. Tin hat wearers wanting to believe in a strong and healthy relationship over what ever it is Gigi Hadfake brings (ie, racism from her and herbhitch mother)

Molly, I need some advice or kind guidance. With the whole Tom and Elizabeth thing coming to light, I'm just feeling a little broken? Like my safe place to go and daydream seems broken and taken away from me. Like, it's now poisoned by my own feelings about myself. How in all the stories I read or AU's that I come up with, I think that'll never happen to me. It bothers me that if I ever met Tom, I wouldn't even get a second glance? Like, It shouldn't bother me but it does.

One, daydreams shouldn’t make you sad. Two, the rumor and supposed pictures of Tom dating Elizabeth make his possible relationship with you no less likely of happening than before. Like, seriously. Fangirling is an act of fantasy. Reader insert stories are an act of fantasy. They’re professionals and actors and busy and aren’t going to bang some random chick that they met trying on a suit or on a photo op or whatever. Tom does Shakespeare, not porn.

So. If your happiness is tied up in the thought that maybe, someday, you and Tom are going to meet and have a happy relationship, you have a problem because you can’t make your happiness dependent on someone else. That’s not healthy and it’s not good for you. You need to figure out how to be happy with Tom being nothing more than a masturbatory illusion or daydream to while away a few spare moments during the day.

Tom and Elizabeth (whether or not that is real) should have no effect on your daydreams because they are just as likely of coming real now as they were two weeks ago: not at all. They are daydreams. That’s it.

You’re not going to date Tom Hiddleston. I mean, really. I understand that you’re sad, because I had the same reaction when Benedict Cumberbatch got engaged, because even though I am exultantly happy in my own marriage and I knew Benedict and I were never going to meet and fall in love, there was that tiny little part of my brain wearing a tin-foil hat and rocking back in forth in the darkest corner of the closet muttering, “It could have been me, it could have been meeeeeee.” That was the moment I knew I needed to step back a bit. I had a similar reaction to all the stage door photos of Richard when he was doing The Crucible. I stepped back. I reinvested that energy in myself and in my marriage and in my son.

So let’s be real. There is one Tom Hiddleston and 45 million screaming fangirls (number pulled out of my butt) and with those odds, it isn’t going to happen.

But do you know what could happen? Meeting someone awesome in your town. If you feel like you’re not going to merit a second glance from a celebrity that you think isn’t going to be interested in you, you’re also saying to yourself, “I’m not worthy of romantic attention.” That’s what makes me sad. That’s what I think is important in your message.

You need to learn to love yourself. You need to believe in yourself. And you need to do it for you, not for a guy. Guys come and go, but you’re stuck with yourself for your whole life, so it makes sense to love you. Do you have a vision in your head of the person you want to be? Good! If not, figure that out. Write it down. Make a vision board or use Pinterest to give yourself some inspiration. And then work on closing the distance between where you are and who you want to be. Pick one small thing you want to change and work on it until you have it down as a habit. Do you want to be a yogi? Set your alarm twenty minutes earlier each morning and do your yoga workout first thing until you stop grumbling and get to the point where you can’t imagine starting the day without a sun salutation. And when that is part of who you are, move on to the next step. Be the person that reads all the Pulitzer prize winning novels or bakes her own bread or always has painted toenails. I don’t care what it is, but you do. You know who are you now, and you have a vision of who you want to be in the future. Well, little caterpillar, it’s time to get to work. It’s hard and it can be dark at times, but if you want to be a butterfly, you have to spin your cocoon. You need to learn to put fangirling in a safe place in your life; a place where Tom is an inspiration to live your life to the fullest and go after your own goals and achieve your destiny, and not use him as a distraction from the things in your life that make you unhappy and that you don’t want to work on.

Tumblr has changed my life. Literally. I’ve unlearned so much problematic shit in the last three years and I’ve learned so many new things. I’m less judgmental. I’m more loving and kind. I love myself more. I love my body more. Richard and Tom were huge parts of that. Richard made me realize how much I loved writing and how far away I was from where I wanted to be skillwise. Tom gave me the courage to actually write and put it out there and learn from others and go after a dream. Tom should inspire you; not depress you.

So please; don’t worry about a possible relationship of a celebrity. Don’t worry at all. This is such a great moment for you because you’ve verbalized that your safe space has been taken away and broken, and that you feel poisoned by your own feelings about yourself. You have identified the problem, and that is always the first step to fixing it. That’s where you should focus. You’ve been kicked out of the nest, little bird. Now’s your time to learn how to fly.

So basically, thanks to im-the-punk-who and partly because I know I’ve read this on my dash before due to you, my fellow wonderful weirdos, I have complied the following factoids about MCU Bucky.

a. James Buchanan Barnes was named after James Buchanan, who was, in all likelihood, America’s first gay president.

b. MCU Bucky Barnes ended up getting the backstory of comics Arnie Roth, who was originally Steve Rogers’ protector back in Ye Bittyest Days. Arnie looked out for Steve against the bullies, went to join the Navy and also had a boyfriend. I find it interesting that in the MCU-verse, they pretty much took that specific aspect of Steve’s old gay buddy from Ye Bittyest Days and gave it to MCU Bucky, making him Steve’s protector and his first shield.

c. Sebastian Stan has been quoted in interviews that the relationship between Steve and Bucky has been “a little bit Brokeback, yeah."

d. While I’m going to put my tongue firmly in cheek and wear my tin hat at the jauntiest angle possible, I’ll just conclude that in an alternate universe, where we have less homophobic assholes, this is meant to be a set up for Cap 3: a.k.a. Steve and Bucky’s Great American Love Affair. Yeah. That’ll work. In that Nice Alternate Universe Next Door.

I’m in my 2D animation class right now and my teacher said that we need to sneak out of the dorms or get lunch or something and go out to the biology trails wearing dark hoodies (and tin foil hats as my friend suggested) and burn a pad of animation paper as an offering and chant and promise each other will will actually do our best and trust each other on this big group project we’re starting. It was beautiful