I have been a youth pastor for three years and I know im a false teacher. Since my conversion I have lied, stolen, with held my tithe, committed adultery, been a homosexual, had an addiction to pornography, and been the biggest hypocrate thus side of hell. I knew right from wrong but my mind was always obsessed with wickedness. About two weeks ago I sat down to read the bible and I felt a huge conviction. I have had no victory in my life. I have always believed that christian fall in and out if sin on their way to perfection but that God loves to forgive and will always take us back if we are truely sorry....I WAS WRONG. that defeated mindset and teaching has caused me to believe that no one is really sinless, which is why we shouldnt judge and that no sin, except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit can keep you fro, repenting. WRONG AGAIN. I have since given up all my sin and have even had victory in my thought life. However, scripture says that I am still condemned becuause no adulterer or homosexual after being forgiven once, will ever enter the kingdom. Also Hebrews 6 and 10 condemn me as well.

I was saved under a cheap grace doctrine of constantly praying for forgiveness....even for sins that incur death. My childhood pastor had been married three times and some of our teachers had affairs once a year. Why were they not thriwn out. Why didnt we treat them as paul instructed. Why was I taught to believe that forgiveness was unlimited and uncoditional? Im so low, I have nothing left but a certain expectation of firery judgement. Everyone keeps telling me that I feel the Holy spirit calling me to repentance, which I have stopped sinning, but the fear that I feel is just a fullfillment of the words in hebrews. I just wish I woukd have known the truth when I became saved, maybe I would have sought the lord witht the same passion. There is no example in the early church of someone falling into sexual sin and coming back to God after salvation. Hebrews 12 says that the sexually immoral are like easu, who gave up his birth right for a moment of pleasure, and that he sought to repent he could not. I have trampled under foot the blood of christ and I am broken in sorrow. If you have any hope to lend me, I pray that y I u will, and that I may call you brother.
[name omitted]

Peace and mercy be to you. I send you no judgment or condemnation. I only wish to send you encouragement so that you can find mercy and peace from God.

First, let me allow the scriptures to speak for themselves:

"8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:8-9

"For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not." - Ecclesiastes 7:20

David sinned with Bathsheba. Solomon had tons of wives and concubines. It is likely he struggled with sexual sins until he died. Jacob had 4 wives. And on and on the list goes.

Obviously the standard is perfection. However, because God knows we fall short, he has provided us with mercy to rely upon during times of backsliding and difficulty. Backsliding happens to everyone, including pastors of churches. If the most holy men of the Bible struggled with sin, then it is safe to say that we ought not to expect anything less with ourselves. This is not a license to sin. However, it is liberty to exercise mercy with God when the need requires. For instance, remarriage is adultery according to Mark chapter 10. However, what if you are a 25 year old man with a high sexual drive? What is worse? Getting remarried in five years after the divorce, or going out and sleeping with a prostitute? Obviously the prostitute scenario is worse. So in such cases, I believe that God permits mercy for people because he understands our weaknesses and he knows that we cannot possibly keep all of his commandments 100% of the time. But of course, we should always strive to do just that, but realize that we are going to fall short.

The bottom line is to trust in God's mercy and understand that there may be an exception made for you. Perhaps God will grant you grace and mercy. Trust in that and try your best to be a good Christian. God loves you and his love is sufficient.

"7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones." - Proverbs 3:7-8