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7/5/12

Ride In 7/5: Fluid Dynamics

Hot. Humid. Hellacious. Other h words. Haughty maybe?

Nonetheless, bike commuters will not be deterred, except for all of the people who had the good sense to commute by other means. Bicycling, while better than walking in that you sort of create your own wind, still leaves one exposed to oppressive and overbearing drivers temperatures and it can be very frustrating. Apparently though, not as frustrating as sitting on an air conditioned lounge chair that can move you 30 miles per hour with the tap of a foot. That's the worst, or at least I suspect it's the worst based on the crazy pounding of steering wheels and gnashing of teeth and curses and middle fingers and honking. If man were meant to drive, God would have given him...cars? Eden was a garden, not a parking lot.

Patriotic shorts? Patriotic shorts.

Bus drivers. Hilarious. That's another h word (Is The H Word is a new program on Showtime about Hondurans? I don't know) as is honking, which is what the driver of the 96 did a bicyclist who stopped in front of him, but was in the bike lane. Apparently the driver wanted to pull forward 3 FEET so he could unload or load passengers right at the bus stop sign. To the best of my knowledge, this isn't strictly necessary, but what do I know.

July is a great month is you like to watch bicycle racing. That's because there's a tour in France called the Tour de France and it's the marquis event of the bicycle racing season and it's rather dramatic and exciting and you can really get swept up in it. Unfortunately, its effect on bike commuting is deleterious as commuters become increasingly "epic" with their "breakaways" and "put in good turns" and "suffer," due to their incapability of recognizing that a bicycle race held by professionals thousands of miles away is not easily translatable to the regular bike commute. I love bike commuting and I enjoy watching professional bike racing, but I'm capable of telling the difference between the two and recognizing that one needn't affect the other. Next guy who tries to pretend he's passing me on the Col D'Aspin is getting "ALLEZ" screamed in his face, perhaps followed by my languidly describing the historical minutia of centuries-old countryside castles, Sherwen-style.

Already a bollard missing at 14th and Pennsylvania.

I took 15th and it was adequate. Lovebirds on bikes are wonderful, but I promise that she'll still love you if you move over behind her to let the bicyclist in the other direction pass. She might even love you more. I would love you more.

Took R and it was also fine. Watched a guy in front of me try to pass a car on the right while the driver was trying to turn right. I think that he wanted to stay in the bike lane, no matter what. That doesn't work like that. If a driver is turning right, pass on the left or stop. Or activate your jet pack. That would be awesome. Anyway, the same guy passes me a little later as I make my super-slow start from stopping at the red light at Connecticut. He said "Passing Left" and I'm all like "Passing left WHAT?" Then I thought "Passing left the New England Patriots' offense vulnerable to a defensive strategy that involved knocking down the quarterback repeatedly, thereby resulting in some difficult playoff losses" and then I thought "trenchant football analysis, Brian. Way to go."

Still lots of trees down and unremoved from Massachusetts. Here's one.

I demonstrated my cyclocross "skills" by riding my bike around in the grass. I only fell four times.

Ah, I too was just thinking about the "creating your own wind" aspect of your post but what I was actaully going to say was more like:

That reference to the Pats caught me so off guard I nearly farted. Not very elegant, I admit, and not a reaction I've previously had to comedy, but what can you do with a true story? Still, I've now realized I can class it up so (affecting my classiest accent):

Gah. The worst thing about biking (or walking) in this heat is when you have to get near a car because it puts out so much heat. But don't you change your habits, drivers. Just continue complaining about why it's so hot and how it's only the fault of one political party and the big evil corporations. You just keep on driving your kids everywhere including 3 blocks to the store.