This website will serve to educate the general public on Black people and the Stuff That Black People Don't Like. Black people have many interesting eccentricities, which include disliking a litany of everyday events, places, household objects and other aspects of their everyday life.
Black people are an interesting subject matter and this website will chronicle the many problems in life that agitate this group of people.
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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Black History Month Heroes: Lucius Fox in "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight"

Editors note: Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and Morgan Freeman comprise the Triforce of Black power in film.

Bruce Wayne: That doesn't look like a Super Soaker...

When the pinnacle of military technology invented by a Black person is the Super Soaker, any movie that showcases Black inventors creating new weapons of mass destruction that don't revolve around pressurized water has no basis in reality.

In Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Lucius Fox is that Black Fictional Hero character that provides Bruce Wayne with the necessary tools to rid Gotham City of evil.

Freeman portrays Fox, a genius that designed the Gotham monorail system (strangely forgotten about in The Dark Knight), the tank-like Batmobile, the Batsuit, and every gadget that Batman subsequently uses. No word on if he also invented the Shark Repellent Bat Spray.

Famous Black inventors are profiled throughout February for the wonderful advances in human thought and innovation they have enabled, though many of these inventions are sadly over-hyped (looking at you George Washington Carver).

There is a reason AP classes, standardized tests and Honors classes are attacked in public schools; they produce an insufficient amount of Black students capable of filing patents or being NASA's next scientist.

Only through the soothing medium of cinema can Black inventors be found whose fictional innovations tower over the achievement of inventing a device that emits powerful streams of water.

Ultimately the folly of Black History Month is the paucity of actual heroes worthy of researching. Steve Sailer wrote this regarding Batman Begins and Freeman's role:

Morgan Freeman plays a computer nerd, making him the latest and perhaps least likely in a long line of black male computer nerds in movies (such as Ving Rhames in "Mission Impossible"). But at least that's better than Morgan Freeman playing a saintly janitor, because here he gets to use his wicked sense of humor.

Stuff Black People Don't Like hopes that Freeman is one day offered a chance to play a super villain, a role Black people rarely get to play (for reasons primarily having to do with monetary appeal, the same reason why Black professional wrestlers rarely are pushed because they don't draw money). Blonds have been the bad guy for far too long.

Gotham City is ultimately saved not by a man dressed as a bat, but by the inventions of Lucius Fox that Bruce Wayne has in his arsenal to fight crime. One is forced to ponder this question: crime in majority Black inner cities is horrible (Black-on-Black crime is a plague few seem willing to admit exists), yet only one Black person is donning a mask to fight this menace. Sadly no Black engineer has come forward with inventions that could incapacitate criminals he pursues.

The Wall Street Journal recently profiled a Black hero operating in Seattle named Phoenix Jones. Again, could a Black inventor, like Lucius Fox in Batman, come forward and offer Jones crime-fighting tools so that he doesn't get his nose broken again?

A mixed martial-arts fighter, he broke his nose last month while breaking up a fight, and he says he has been shot and stabbed, too. He often travels with a posse, sometimes carries a Taser nightstick and tear gas, and repeatedly has himself been mistaken for a criminal.

One Friday night, Mr. Jones and several sidekicks—two quiet men called Buster Doe and Pitch Black; a young woman named Blue Sparrow; and a superhero-in-training called Ski Man—spent several hours making the rounds on the streets of Seattle.

Mr. Jones posed for the occasional cellphone photo with revelers outside night spots in several popular neighborhoods. But, he says, the attention "distracts me from my mission."

Outside a bar, Mr. Jones chastised a man for yelling at a downtrodden passerby.

"Let's keep it cool; let's all have a good night," he said to the man, who quickly backed down.

Later, the superheroes ran after a swerving car, suspecting a drunk driver, but the car raced away and, alas, they can't fly. Capes, also, are unfashionable in the superhero world: "They get caught on everything," says Mr. Raven Blade.

Little crime-fighting took place that night. "That's the thing," concedes Mr. Jones. "When there's nothing going on, you feel pretty silly in this outfit," he says, referring to his costume, which he says is equipped with the latest body armor.

Phoenix Jones

Detective Mark Jamieson, spokesman for the Seattle Police Department, applauds citizens' willingness to get involved in their communities and says the department has received 911 calls from Mr. Jones.

But he worries about things getting out of hand. "Our concern is that if it goes badly, then we wind up getting called anyway, and we may get additional victims.

More power to Phoenix Jones, though he fights without weapons created by a Black inventor in a city largely devoid of Black criminality. Let us hope Lonnie Johnson becomes the real life superhero (RLSH) Phoenix Jones' Q, creating weapons that he can use to fight crime in Seattle. We plan to write more about RLSH soon.

Compared to Black Fictional Hero Lucius Fox, Johnson's invention of the Super Soaker isn't much to get wet over. So we challenge Johnson to invent a weapon that Phoenix Jones can use to save the Seattle.

Remember, without Fox Batman was just a rich white boy running around the roofs of Gotham. Phoenix Jones needs a Black scientist to save the day and help him rid Seattle of crime once and for all.

16 comments:

We've plowed this field before. The supersoaker is not an invention, but an application of a previously existing technology. Whoever created the firecracker probably also did not invent gun powder.

One black actor I've never seen mentioned on this site who actually does deserve some praise is Forrest Whitaker. He was great in Clint Eastwood's "Bird," and as an Irish paramilitary in "The Crying Game."

Christian Bale has played the quintessential evil WASP in a couple of movies now; the most prominent example would be in "American Psycho," where he stalks the streets of NYC, a city where in reality 85% of violent crimes are committed by blacks and latinos.

The most rabidly anti-white male movie in a couple of years was "Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay." I liked the first one okay (even with its jabs at whites) but the second one was so blatant with its baddie being a white male straight out of central casting.

A little off topic but relevant, I finally got around to taking the Wonderlic online. I'm a little ashamed that I only scored a 35; my only alibi would be that I had four or five boilermakers beforehand. That being said, I cannot fathom how Michael Vick scored a 14 and his brother an 11. I would have killed to have been a fly on the wall for that proctoring.

"Okay, Michael, if I have three footballs, and I take away two, how many footballs do I have?"

Phoenix Jones doesn't need a Q. Phoenix Jones is his own Q. You have no idea how cool his suit is. It is bullet-proof, knife-proof, and has blood-coagulating packets. His gloves get harder with every punch. He also carries a taser baton, tear gas, and, of course, a cell-phone.

But Phoenix Jones does quote Morgan Freeman from Batman:

"Jones headed to the bathroom to take off some of his costume, mainly his chest piece. The way his suit is configured leaves him with less mobility for his head. “Remember in Batman,” he said, “when Bruce Wayne asks Morgan Freeman to make some changes to his suit and Morgan Freeman goes, ‘You want to be able to turn you head?’ You have no idea how true that is.”"

Holy s**t! I just took the Wonderlic test and if it's the measuring stick of America we are in deep, deep trouble. I'm not a janitor but, my job is similar in that you can train a monkey to do it. Seriously, I feel like Will Hunting. If I can score a 48 with ease, then anybody should be able to score just as good.

So funny how blacks think that whites could possible be "haters" of anything they do or accomplish. I got a great abs workout laughing at this idea. Blacks shout "hater", but they really feel quite embarrassed by their own black people. Why so quick to defend?

Billy Blanks, it seems very convenient for you and your cohorts to sling insults at everyone, and point out our typos, but so far you have responded to ZERO of the pitiful statistical facts about black failure in America, and the seething hatred for the white man, the criminality, the violent nature, the illegitimacy, the disease, the belligerence, the sense of entitlement, the foul behavior. You, like most of your friends, are hypocrites.

Like most blacks, your willingness to remain ignorant of these issues makes you a huge part of the problem in America.

Blacks are ruining my city, and cities all around the country. I am "credible". I have personal experience like most whites on this blog, and that means more that what you bring to the table. Everyone is trying to get away from the underclass ghetto black population, including smarter blacks.

I will bet that you are one of those people who don't know or interact with any "authentic" blacks on a regular basis.

The article below accurately describes underclass black behavior, this is the same animalistic uncivilized behavior I experience in my neighborhood daily. Especially from the black male thug types.

And I will post this question directly to you, from the Thinker News piece at http://thethinkernews.blogspot.com/2011/02/foreclosures-helping-change-color-of.html :

"So what are you going to do, BLACK HUMANS? Are you going to help "them" ruin OUR civilization, just because THEIR skin is the same color as yours?"

Yeah well one has to trumpet loudly with their cock in one hand when one has nothing else to say of substance. Did Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Reed Ricards, Doctor Von Doom, Doctor Octopus, Doctor Stephen Strange and Sorcerer Supreme of Earth, Docter Henry Pym, Doc Savage, Peter Parker or any other require the aid of Black people in their endeavors? I think not, but then you have all the White Doctors, Engineers, Mathmaticians et al who existed entirely separate from blacks and asians.

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Showcasing only what Black people don't like, this site will be the place to visit to learn what Black people in the United States are against and dislike.
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