How is everyone? Sad news about Sally Ride; she came and spoke to my middle school, making it impossible for any subsequent speaker to hold our interest. People would come in and say, "Hey, I went to the rainforest and found the cure for--" and we would sigh heavily and say, "Psssh, you didn't even leave the PLANET?" She'll be missed.

The Post homepage says "11:00 AM ComPost Live with Alexandra Petri" but when I come here to post a question, it says "Join us Tuesday, July 24 at noon ET". I don't know when to be here - in 10 minutes or 70 minutes? Or, are you going to be here at all?

The Chick-Fil-A conundrum continues to haunt me. Also, the spelling. I'd been spelling it Chik-Fil-A, thinking that once you spelled Filet Fil-A there was no limit to the horrors you were willing to perpetrate. There are many objectionable parts to Chick-Fil-A, but their chicken is undeniable.

I really loved what you wrote about Chick-Fil-A last week. You really nailed the problem moreso than anyone else has. It was helpful for me to hear a straight person's perspective on the issue.
Now here's the question: If one were to hypothetically dress up as a cow with a sign to protest one of their restaurants or the food truck, what should the sign say? John Stewart came up with "Eat Mor Cok" on last night's show but I think you and your minions can do better.

A: Alexandra Petri

Thank you!

Oooh, that's tough. Jon is on basic cable and not a family newspaper and I hope I am allowed to run his slogan, but we'll soon hear either way!

So you are not joining in the boycott of Chick Fil A because they refuse to serve gay chickens or something like that?

A: Alexandra Petri

Frankly I would be more concerned that the chicken was a cannibal.

My bottom line (be warned, it does come with a pretty hefty side of guilt) is that if you choose your food based on the political principles of its owner or where the money goes after you spend it on chicken -- or, really, anything other than how good the food is, we wind up in a world full of nasty sandwiches, and that impoverishes everyone.

If someone were smart, he or she would set up shop outside a Chick-Fil-A so you could donate slightly more than the price of a sandwich, solving everyone's problem. Well, not solving. But palliating slightly.

You got over 2000 comments on your Ann Romney story. Was Rush Limbaugh involved in any way. I hear he is sweet on you. Did you read the comments, and if so, what was the most ridiculous one?

A: Alexandra Petri

I think you are getting "sweet" and "sour" confused again.

My general rule is that if there are more than 40 comments, it is not because people liked the piece. It turns out that there are a limited number of ways to say you enjoyed something, but infinite ways to compare the author unfavorably to a camel. If there are more than 1000, it is because people disagree with some vital detail or are getting me confused with Dana Milbank. In both of those cases I will deputize friends to read them. (Thanks, friends!) Their report was "Hoo boy, there are sure a lot of comments!" so I don't have anything to highlight.

One of the problems that I have is, relative to other fast food establishments, CFA is FAIRLY healthy. They offer fruit and vegetables as side options, and no sandwich is over 500 cal, I believe.
Sometimes when I'm in the South CFA is really the only decent road trip option. So, to assuage my guilt, I try to make a donation to HRC or GLAAD that is equal to or over the amount I spend at CFA. Which, when you think about profit margins, is actually cent-for-cent more going to the good guys than going to the bad. I hope.

The same could be said about the money spent on bus rides in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955. If enough people boycott the restaurant, that store becomes unprofitable and closes. If that continues, the chain closes. Yes, the tasty chicken sandwiches are gone but then another restaurant (either with values you share or a CEO smart enough to not share) opens up with tasty chicken sandwiches.

A: Alexandra Petri

These aren't quite analogous, though. The bus service wasn't providing something everyone can agree is a good thing. It was providing a segregated bus, which was actively bad in itself. It wasn't that the bus owner was going off and donating to racist organizations but the bus itself was perfect. The chicken sandwich has not harmed anyone. It is an excellent sandwich and deserves to be judged on its merits.

It took less time to get Mercury going than it took to develop a new airplane. Why it took so much time to get a woman in space is a mystery. All I can figure is that the women were busy designing the machines. Now we have nothing on the pad to launch either sex and we're counting on the Russians. I think we were better off counting on the women.

A: Alexandra Petri

Leaving aside the question of women getting into space, and the women vs Russians choice you have set up and which confuses me, my favorite recent NASA burn was from XKCD, which noted "If NASA were willing to fake major accomplishments, they'd have a second one by now." Ouch.

Have you seen what they do to chickens before you eat them? You would never eat another chicken. You would eat only cows, except, have you seen what they do to cows before you eat them?

A: Alexandra Petri

Believe me, I've seen videos. A lover of the law, or of good sausages, or of food, or of almost anything on the planet except possibly for babies (and even then I think there are some state and local laws to worry about) should not watch it being made.

I do love so many things about Chick-Fil-A: The food is delicious, they do offer some healthful options, I like the way the owner's religion informs the way he treats his employees, they get Sundays off, they get tuition help, and the employees seem so much nicer and attentive than many other fast food places.
But giving money to groups that directly attempt to intimidate women exercising their free choice....gahhh! I just don't know what to do.

A: Alexandra Petri

I understand the feeling.

And all the good things you mention are good. And they are well within his rights. And they are actually germane to the restaurant experience. And the flip side is that when people do very good jobs providing us with a good restaurant experience and great food, we reward them for that, and then sometimes they turn around and give that money to causes we do or do not agree with. But if you invert the example, if someone served mediocre pizza but made a big deal about its support for women's rights -- I wouldn't encourage them. So I'm sticking to my guts.

The "slaughtered many people" question made me curious - if the owner of a company was responsible for slaughtering thousands of people, but created a product (say, something unique like an iphone or ipad), would you still buy that product?

it's like with Toms shoes. sure they support a great cause, but I find them to be aethestically horrible. I would rather donate to a worthy cause than support such unfashionable footwear. and unless you know what every business owner does with profits from their business, it's a slippery slope to hypocrisy. it's easy to focus on a sandwich, but it really is a much larger issue.

A: Alexandra Petri

I think Jonathan Merritt does a good job of stating the larger issue: doing business with people who don't share your beliefs is not a bad thing. If you feel bad that someone is donating to a cause you disagree with, donate to a cause you do agree with. Fight apples with apples and oranges with oranges.

I agree with you on judging the sandwich for being a sandwich. Do you follow the same for say, movies by Woody Allen or by Roman Polanski or by Robert Blake? To me, I care only about the film, but I know people who won't see films by artists with whom they disagree about their lifestyles.

A: Alexandra Petri

Yeah! The reason I don't see more films by those folks is because I have difficulty keeping a straight face during most art house films. One of the best moviegoing experiences I've ever had was when I saw "Midnight In Paris" in a packed theater and decided it would be funny to laugh one beat before all the jokes. By the middle of the film everyone was panicked and laughing with me. It was like the emperor's new Woody Allen joke.

OK, so let's say this place made the best tasting barbecue ever, but you found out it was actually made from a horrible person. I assume you would say that's fine because it tastes good, plus it's socially responsible.

A: Alexandra Petri

Didn't Sweeney Todd already cover this?

And no, obviously there's a line at eating people. That's one of those obvious lines.

So divesting of business with South Africa in the 80s and 90s was not necessary? Doing business with people who don't share your beliefs when that business is necessary and irreplaceable is a necessary thing. When there are substitutable options, by all means voice your opinion with your checkbook.

"When you go to heaven, you will run into a few cows and other animals you have eaten. When vegetarians go to heaven, they will run into thousands of plants they have eaten."
You're assuming, for some reason, that people are either strictly carnivorous or vegetarian. I do eat meat, but I eat far more veggies, just because I like them. So I guess I will run into cows, pigs, chickens, and lambs, but also many thousands of plants. But those animals will also encounter thousands of plants (and bugs, for the chickens), so it all ends up being a big awkward circle-of-life reunion. I think it's probably simpler not to believe in heaven.

In defense of the freedom of potato chip sexuality, I believe it is not our right to judge the sexuality of potato chips. So what if a chip likes an occasional battery shock or to sleep with something round? Who are we to judge?

A: Alexandra Petri

I don't know, I think it's a slippery slope from potato chip on battery to --

Actually this might be the bottom of the slope right here. Good to know.

I don't know if you received my previous submission, yet I saw and honestly liked your play "Young Republicans". I mean that seriously, because I was trying to find things to be snarky about. At most I saw one joke that was telegraphed (I just knew someone would say something when the Jewish guy said "Jesus Christ"), and other than that, they play was funny all the way through, the actors were all well cast and did great jobs. Nice time, write a worse play so I may be more critical. It was really funny.

And on that mildly disturbing note, I'm off! Thank you for a thought-provoking discussion and for putting me through the paces. Have a great remainder of the week, feel free but unobligated to follow me on Twitter, and keep reading the Compost!

In This Chat

Alexandra Petri

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost, a lighter take on the news and issues of the day, and she contributes to the Post editorial page. Her work has appeared in venues such as The Huffington Post, The Week, Newsweek.com, Businessweek.com, Collegehumor, and The Harvard Crimson. She has appeared on Jeopardy!, Showbiz Tonight and Canadian radio, and she has performed at Boston's Comedy Studio and Comedy Connection. She would love to be on your TV show, radio show, Daily Show, HBO special, or to be an honored guest (or regular guest) at your Bar Mitzvah. She is the author of two books (unpublished, but contact her!), two screenplays, three plays, one musical, and one memoir (Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast.)