Jordan and Krystal. The most recent seasons' primary villains would be a glorious disaster together. Their narcissism would make them start with fireworks and end in flames. Jordan says he found someone in Paradise. Hopefully he brought Krystal home to Crystal River, FL. Krystal River.

Chelsea and David. And how about some secondary villains getting together? Chelsea seemed like she was going to be a villain on Arie's season, but she wasn't, really. David wasn't positioned as a villain on Becca's season, but his behavior during his fight with Jordan was actually worse than Jordan's, so he kinda was. If he can stay away from fighting with Jordan, he'll be looking for a redemption arc. Linking up with this well-meaning single mom would do it.

Bibiana and Eric. This isn't really based on anything, we just think these two would be cute together. Their energy feels like it would be compatible.

John and Kendall. Kendall is smart. John is smart. Smart people on this dumb show gotta stick together.

Kevin and Astrid. Kevin is Ashley I.'s ex from Bachelor Winter Games. Astrid kinda looks like Ashley, if Kevin has a type. This ain't rocket surgery!

Leo and Jacqueline. Leo, who was just eliminated from Becca's season, and Jacqueline, from Arie's season, weren't part of the initial cast. But she tweeted "Leo seems to have both the most brain cells and hair follicles of this group of men which makes him my automatic favorite." So if Jacqueline heads to Mexico, hopefully she'll get to meet her fave.

Bekah and Grocery Joe. We don't know if Bekah will be on Paradise. But we do know that if she goes, every guy there will be trying to get her attention. The only man worthy of it is humble Grocery Joe, the fan favorite who was only on Becca's season for one episode but who other than Bekah is the person fans are most excited to see.

Colton and Tia. Look, we know Colton and Tia will rekindle their relationship in Paradise. Bekah spoiled it. But we still wanna see what happens.

No one is good enough for Kenny. We hope Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King finds a nice, normal woman far away from this degenerate franchise. God bless you, Kenny.

Wells and Yuki. They're not technically contestants, but let's see the bartenders fall in love...platonically. Wells is still dating Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland, and Winter Games star Yuki is too innocent to be dating any of these Bachelorette cads, so we hope they become best friends and protect each other from the craziness. That would be the most beautiful relationship of all.