Menu

focus

If you aren’t where you want to be in life. When you don’t get the results that you want to have, then it is time to change something. You need to BECOME someone else. Only then you can also GET what you want.

Change is hard though. Everything in your body will resist that change. You will procrastinate and trick yourself into believing that you are “taking action”. Even though all you do is sitting around watching YouTube.

Strong commitment is required to make lasting change. You act now through the person you want to be. That is how you actually become that person.

How to make lasting change:
1. Know who you want to be
2. Behave like you already are that person

Most of my life I had a hard time following and tracking my goals. Still have. Responsible for it is my ADD. Right now is pretty much the first time in my life that I have goals I actually believe in though. Following up is a must. While I don’t know how the stars align and everything will turn out ultimatly. What I can control is my actions.

There is two things I want to accomplish:

What do I want:
1. Making a lot of money
2. Banging 100 chicks

Why do I want this: Because I want to be the person that I always wanted to be.

What are the steps that I need to do to accomplish that
– Getting better at my skills:
• Writing
• Marketing
• Banging and retaining girls
• Investing money

How do I accomplish that:
To sum everything up in one word: Progress
Everything that hinders me from making progress (lack of motivation, concentration, non defined goals) are obstacles that will be blown away. I will find solutions to takle all of them.

The timetable would look the following:
4 hours a day invested in making money
4 hours a day invested in girls (actively picking up/dates etc.)
1 hour a day reading on my topics

My specific goals:
1. Having 100.000 € cash (50k for an operation, the other 50k for an apartment that I want to buy)
2. Having slept with 100 girls, as well as retaining 4 fuckbuddies for at least 6 months (6+ on my scale)

What are the daily steps that I take to accomplish those goals:
1. Having 100.000 € in Cash:
• building my brand by writing an article or recording a video/podcast
• learning about marketing
• recording a sample for a voice-over (for upwork voice-over gigs)
• writing a sample sales letter (for upwork copy writing gigs)
• get a new Product to sell on my blog and write a sales page (Bathmate)
• taking a step towards some side gig that will bring me money (e.g. buying a car to work as a ueber driver)
• apply for 5 Upwork jobs
• writing a sales page for some offline hustle (e.g. tutoring ads)
• buy something for a low and sell it for a higher price (make at least 50 bucks on it)

2. Banging and retaining girls:
– approaching 5 girls
– being on a date with a new girl (girl that I got to known in the streets/the club)
– going on a date with a girl I already know (day 2 / fuckbuddy)
– finding a solution for a sticking point that I have
– get the girl to get more emotionally invested in you

Okay, so I had a pretty good time financially the last two weeks. I managed to get a couple pojects going that gave me some extra income. The last two weeks my main focus wasn’t to make a lot of money that I actually had to work for. But more so finding way to get some passive income streams going. The money I got was from projects that I “ran into” as well as some stuff that I had going for me since a couple months now. Note that all my living expenses are covered already. So everything I earn, I keep.

So in total I made 445€ in the last two weeks. A nice little side income. But some of it are birthday gifts (120€). So I obviously can’t be proud of it. I definatly have to find some more ways to get income streams going.

My plan for the comming week is:
• Write a Sales Letter for “the millionaires fastlane” by M.J. DeMarco
• Get a doctors certificate that I need
• Think of 10 new business ideas that can earn me some passive income

I am really driven. The time has come to make some good money. Money is a really important part of life. No matter if you value it or not. Or how much you value it. Money is FREEDOM. And freedom in my opinion is the most important thing in life.

There are two things that I am earning and saving money for:

Goals: 50.000 € for a special “toy” that I need more then anything else in my life
50.000 € for in apartment in a city in europe I want to live in

Do or die. I will either accomlish those goals or die. Straight up. It is a 100k in total. A sum that shouldn’t take that long to earn. Getting by was always my main focus up to this point though. Never making money (at least no SERIOUS attempt to do so). So I wil need some time to figure it out. I will give myself a deadline of 2 years to accomplish my financial goal. 2 years. From this day. In 2 years I will have 100.000 bucks and I will be able to fulfill the two goals I have.

I have never really been a tea drinker. When I was younger I avoided everything that seemed to be healthy. Drinking 2-3 Liters of Coca-Cola everyday simply made me feel better. Maybe not long-tearm. But certainly short-tearm. It was an addiction actually. My mood decreased when I haven’t had my bottle of cola next to me and I even became agressive.

It was not after I got to know my (now) ex-girlfriend that I started to get a little more concious about the way I eat. She was a tea addict and literally drank it all day long. No matter if it was in the morning. The night. For lunch. For dinner. No matter what the time was she made a tea for herself. Being with her I kind of started getting in the habit of it too. After a while she gave me a clear suggestion that I actually should start to drink some more green tea. All I was doing at that time was going to nightclubs and taking every drug under this sun. My eating habits sucked and I wasn’t really sleeping that much. So drinking a cup of tea once in a while didn’t seem to be the worst idea in the world.

I started becomming more (a little) healthier in general. And the tea actually gave me some kind of balance in my otherwise completly fucked up and unconcious lifestyle. My other habits started to change too. And I went to the gym more often and started to eat a little bit healthier. That lasted for a little bit. Then eventually everything fell of the place again. I left my girlfriend. my eating sucked. I was spending way to much money. Went clubbing litarally every day. And I took drugs constantly.

After I left my girlfriend completly (before it was kind of “officially unofficial” – if that makes sense) I went out again. I was angry as fuck that day. I bought a pill. Took half of it. And went to talk to this cute chick that was staring at me all the time. I took the other half. Then another pill. I went to buy some more with the girl that I was hanging out with. 3 more. I took them all that day but didn’t got high.

The come down has been really fucked up though. Like two days later I started. Three days later I was depressed as fuck. I didn’t even know the reason why, until my friend gave me a clue – “uhh.. maybe because of the 5 x you took on sunday??!”. Well.. maybe he was right. I haven’t had a down like this for so long. It was probably more then a year ago that I felt that depressed.

During that peroid I spend most of my time after with a girl that I got to know not long before. We went smoking, I could share all my depressive stories with her and I fucked her a couple times without a condom (she was on the pill but it was still a very stupid decision looking back). However spending time with her really helped me. She showed me how purposeless my life really is and that I need a goal in life. Instead of spending all my time getting fucked up as a form of escapism. She was right!

Slowly I started to adapt healthier habits. I listened to some good self-development tapes. Started reading books. Haven’t been going that often anymore. Stopped taking drugs. Took on some healthier eating habits. I did all kinds of Supplements. And I started to go to the gym again.

The effects this had on my life were drastic. I was in a better mood. Hell, I was in a good mood pretty much constantly. My self-confidence improved and was back to normal again. I was able to concentrate better then ever. I was finally curious about the world again and I was able to retain more knowledge then I ever could before in my life. I felt better. I outlined what I want out of my life. And I took action in the direction I wanted to.
I will write more about what specificly I did to change my mood/my habits/my life so drasticly in furture posts. I am realy happy with the direction that I am taking at the moment. And I will keep you posted about my journey. Sometimes it just takes a depressed day or week to change your life completly. The depressed week I had after leaving my girlfried was probably the best thing that happened in my life.

Everyone does. And you will know that I am right if you don’t have a mission. If you have a mission. Or if you suddenly found your mission after being without one for so long.

It is empowering to create something and to be busy with something no matter what happens in the outer world. I can get fired from my job but still be optimistic because I am following my mission. The wall street can collapse tomorrow. I am still optimistic. I am on my mission in life.

Life is really hard if you do not have a mission. Because your mission is your purpose. And without your purpose you are impotent. Nothing has meaning. You go to your job but its just a way for you to earn money. Your spend time with your family but it is meaningless. You have nothing to give because you don’t know your place in this world.

Your job is just a way to support yourself when you have a mission. Or it is a part of your mission. It is seldom somthing in between. You work in some fuck-up job to pay the bills or you work in a bank because finances are your lifes mission. Something in between doesn’t exist.

You better figure out your mission in life or you will never know what living really is about.

What is my mission? A lot of people probably ask themselves this question. Of course. How should they know what their mission is if they have been to busy following other peoples advise all their life and never making the effort to think for themselves.

Welcome to a harsh place called reality. Where grown-ups live and make their own decisions. You are know one of them. So get some focus. Activate your brain and start thinking for yourself.

What is your passion? Deep down inside you already know it. It is likely that it is someting that you loved to do as a kid. Or something that you feel you have to do on a daily basis but have been always to afraid to go for. Maybe because you have been afraid to fail.

What is is that you want to do? No one can really answer you that question. No one but yourself. You know what it is. Everyone who is meant to have a mission knows. Maybe you like to write. Maybe you like to teach. Maybe you are meant to inspire other people. You might have a talent when it comes to maths or science. Something is in you. Deep down.

I am suffering from porn-induced erectile dysfunction. And, if you are reading this, you might do the same. It is beyond crazy that we live in a time, were guys in their TWENTIES and even guys in their TEENS have trouble getting an erection to real woman. What is even more crazy is that the fact that this loss of erectile ability isn’t really heard about in the mainstream yet. When I realised that I couldn’t “get it up” with real woman anymore I had no idea that porn might be the reason for it. I haven’t heard of it in the News. No one in the radio talked about it. And even my doctors (I think I went to 4 of them) were absolutly CLUELESS and couldn’t really give me a suggesstion how to fix it. I made the suggesstion to go on testosterone-replacement-therapy. My doctor prescribed me the T but my ability to get hard didn’t really improve from it. My urologist told me that physicly everything is okay with me and my dick should be able to function properly. He suggested to see a psychologist and that my issues are probably realted to my psychology and my views on sex. At this time I wasn’t sure about it. After some research however I know that my views on sex have nothing to do with my ED. I don’t really have any “bad” views on sexuality. I discovered something that I could not really believe when I found it.

This site tells you about erectile dysfunction and how it appears because of the overconsumtion of porn. At first I couldnt believe anything I saw. The statistics. The videos. It all appeared to me like some giant scam. Something to make people paranoid. But then again, why would they put so much effort in building a site to bash pornography just for the sake of it. It was still surreal to me but I decided to give it a try. I didn’t had anything to lose afterall. I tried it for a couple of times but failed miserably. I didn’t take the information really seriously and I thought people just want to make me stay away from porn because of some moral reasons. I had a girlfriend during the time I tried to quit and with her I was mostly able to have sex. However I had to “force” myself everytime to get an errection. Often times it wasn’t possible at all and 99 percent of the time I was not able to cum at all. I think I had like 4 orgasms during our entire relationsship.

The real turning point came at the 16.01.2016. I could not take anything of this anymore. I hated to have not much of a sex life. I hated the fear of bringing girls home and not getting hard with them. I did not want to have a Asexual relationship all my life just because I could not stop masturbating to porn. None of this shit anymore. The only solution was to quit porn, masturbation and orgasms alltogether (No PMO). And so I did. Today is the 31.05.2016 and I am not over my erectile dysfunction yet.Even after more then 4 entire months of staying away from porn (with the exeption of maybe 4 relapses) I am still not able to have normal sex with a girl anytime I want. My libido still comes and go in phases. Everything is getting better though. And I am definatly better then when I freshly started this journey. As I read it can take up to a year to fully recover from porn and be able to have a normal sex.life again. I give myself 2-8 months to be back to normal again. The fact that I see improvements already gives me hope and keeps me going.

Some things that I noticed since quitting porn:

Before:
– No libido whatsoever. I had to turn on porn to get an erection. I was addicted to watching porn and only had the desire to take a look at porn. I had no “libido” because I had no desire for real sex
– I could pretty much only get hard with porn. I had to “force” myself to get it up with a real girl
– No orgasms. I litarally had to “force” myself to get an orgasm and even then it just wasnt possible most of the time
– I was in a dizzy state of mind all the time. I was less focused. And had less desire to talk to people in general. I was okay with sitting in a dark room all day and even prefered it over interacting with people

After:
– Libido is comming back. Slowly but surely. I am still not as horny as I used to be but at least I have stages where I get horny. A couple day ago I was as horny as I haven’t been in years and it felt so great. can’t wait to have this feeling again on a daily basis
– I can get hard with girls. Still I am lacking consistency. But I am able to get hard with girls on a more regular basis. And the erection quality generally improved.
– A couple days ago I had 2 orgasms in a row! And they came naturall and i didn’t had to force myself to get one. It was incredible
– My mind is more clear and focussed. I can retain information btter and I am more focussed in general.

My problem isn’t unique though. And you should get some hope out of this when you are in the same position. My friend who is a dating-coach told me a lot of his clients have the same issue. He himself is reliant on viagra. He used to watch an insane amount of porn when he was younger and used to do mega-session (5+ hours of porn at the time) just like me. Another friend of mine who just turned 21 took two girls home from a night club last week and was not able to get it up with both of them.

Take it as a warning. Quit porn no matter where you are in life. If you have a GF. If you are able to perform normally at the moment. Or if you already have some issues with your penis. It doesn’t really matter. Because porn will certainly not help you to improve your erection quality or sex life in any way.

This is one of a few articles that I want to write on the subject. Others will include suggesstions on how to stay away from porn and some ways to speed up the recovery process. Quit the porn and stay tuned for more.