ON ILLUSION IN THE KITCHENFill your kitchen with serious-looking accoutrements and have lots of intriguing jars for your herbs and spices. They'll look very phoney if they're chockfull, so never quite fill them up (1971)

ON "DELIA SMITH'S CHRISTMAS"If there's one person in the world who probably needs this book more than anyone else, it's me (1990)

ON WHICH BEER TO PUT IN "BEEF IN DESIGNER BEER"Do what I do and go for the prettiest label (1995)

ON SETTING HER ALARM IN ORDER TO TALK TO GOD, FOR AN HOUR, EVERY MORNINGWhen I get really stuck [for something to say] I ask him to help with my shopping list (1999)

ON INSPIRING NORWICH CITYIt's like pushing water up a hill (2008)

TO HER HUSBANDI have done lamb's liver in 14 different ways and there is no 15th! (1984)

ON SERVING VERMOUTH AS A PRE-DINNER TIPPLEChoose an example that will give you the chance to drop the name of your wine merchant – don't say off-licence (1971)

MOMENTS BEFORE HER TERRACOTTA COOKING DISH BLEW UP ON CAMERAThis is fantastic and you can use it on the hob (1993)

APPEALING TO NORWICH SUPPORTERS OVER A MICROPHONE AT HALF-TIMEWe need a 12th man here… where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you! Come on! (2005)

ON HOW TO COPE WITH CHRISTMASPrayer and contemplation, while utterly necessary, do absolutely nothing to ease the pressure, and on Christmas Day I will end up horizontal (1994)

ON NEEDING TO BE A PERFECT HOSTThere is obviously additional stress because of who I am. When a woman who organises very sophisticated parties came to dinner I gave her bangers and mash (1999)

ON TELEVISION COOKS TASTING THEIR FOODI can't bear it, it's just everything I hate. Eating on TV, it's just something I will never, ever do. I will never put anything in my mouth and go "delicious". That is just the pits, isn't it? (1998)

ON MATCH DAYSOn the way to the game we pick up Big Macs... I absolutely love Big Macs with fries and loads of ketchup (1999)