The Ten Best Strip Clubs in Miami (NSFW) UPDATED

So Goldrush Strip Club is closed, and the City of Miami is down one 24-hour liquor-licensed international house of T &A. But chin up, stripper lovers. You can either boo-hoo that Goldrush as you know it is gone, or dry your tears with help from the fine ladies at any of the many other T&A establishments in the Magic City. Here are the ten best.

10. E11evenThis place would be higher on the list, but it isn't technically a strip joint. Sure there are beautiful semi-naked girls here, but it is more club than take-off-your-clothes. It's on trendy NE 11th Street and, well, you have to see it to believe it. This, by the way, is the former Gold Rush location, tastefully redone.

This megalopolis of tits and ass is the Disney World of adult entertainment. People fly in from around the world to see it. It's the biggest strip club in the world. Think of a circus, except the trapeze girls are naked, the popcorn is Patron, and it stays in town all year long.

Your best chance of meeting a stripper who's not working, but goes to the strip club to have fun, may be here. Not only do a lot of the strippers from other strip clubs in the strip club district party here, they've got some of the best underground hip hop in the country.

This 18-year-old establishment is like a professional sports organization that can afford to bring in players from all over the world. (And by players, we of course mean strippers). Here, you're as likely to meet a blue eyed farm girl from Romania as a city girl from Cartagena. Its proximity to the airport makes it as much a corporate tourist joint as a local's one.

Real goonin', real thuggin', real shoulder to shoulder with the stealers, killers, and dope dealers. It's all for the sake of showering bills on super thick, beautiful, tattooed, and gold-toothed pro-vixens dropping it like it's hot in this tiny juke joint on 79th St.

On the west side of North Miami, there's one big room full of "bad bitches." If you're willing to pay top dollar, and you just wanna watch some booties shake without dealing with anybody you don't wanna deal with, go to the VIP, get two songs, smoke a fattie, drink some Budweiser, eat ribs in the parking lot, go back in the club, get another dance, motorboat some tits, and go home. This is your place.

This place is so close to Douglas Road Metrorail Station you can almost see it from the platform. The semi-hidden alley club is where college girls meet career strippers, and sometimes become them before your eyes. A regular post-party hangout for afterhours booty fiends, at 4a.m. this joint is rockin'.

At KOD, Monday night fight night isn't on a tv screen — it's in your face with two broads duking it out half naked in the squared circle. Like mechanical bulls? They've got one of those too. But the novelties are only a sideshow to the veritable army of naked girls, dancing, shaking, gyrating, and doing some of the most amazing pole tricks you're bound to see this side of anywhere. This is the NBA of ass.

Naked girls, liquor store, BBQ, Metrorail, historic building. We're not saying you might find a cigarette butt in your draft brew, or that the girls are mean, or that this place is a dive. We're saying this is one of those landmark joints where your neighbor at the bar sat down in 1985 and hasn't got up since. Sometimes, a stripclub's just a stripclub, and pussy poppin' in a handstand's not necessary. Check out the day shift, and check out of reality.

1. Scarlett's Cabaret So this place is technically in Hallandale, but just remember, all that is 954 once was 305; you could thrown a dollar out the window in Miami and it could land in the G-string of a Scarlett's stripper. So what makes this place the best? Check it out at lunch time on a Friday afternoon — inside, it's like Vegas. Exotic women of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ethnicities marching that ass around the club, working for the money, winding and grinding up on that pole, and lap dancing all the way to the bank.