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A Valentine’s Day Gift

Only once in my life have I received a Valentine’s Day gift from someone to which I was not related. I feel like I’ve failed in some way being a girl during my twenty-seven years on this planet, but then again, I never was much of one to actually be in a relationship.

My one and only Valentine’s Day gift has a sad but funny twist to it, and will probably only be understood by ladies why I was disappointed, but is worth sharing. (And yes, my ex-boyfriend has been advised that I will share this story with the three number of you who read my blog.)

I had always been up front about flowers with guys. They’re gorgeous, but why would you want to dish out $80 on an arragement that slowly dies in front of you over the course of a 40-hour work week? For that amount, we could have gone out to dinner, had a few drinks, and then rounded out the evening with a kinky night in bed. If you have to get me flowers, then please consider the potted kind. Easier maintenance, cheaper, and my dog is less likely to try and ingest said plant. (Out of the 6 or so guys that I’ve dated, only one found a loophole to my logic. I’m that picky.)

Anywho! Back to the original topic.

My then-boyfriend informed me that he was getting me flowers for Valentine’s Day and that I should keep an eye out for a delivery at work. I had hinted at a few lavender bushes earlier and was excited at the possibility of having something fragrant on my desk. My boyfriend was not well versed in the functions of a long-term relationship, but he’d been trying to put in a little more effort and I had to give him credit for the idea of sending flowers.

I figured I could also do something cheesy and ordered him a mixed dozen of roses to be sent to him at work. According to him, he’d gotten a few compliments on the flowers and my romantic gesture.

In the meantime, I was waiting for my arrangement to show up. I couldn’t wait to see what he picked out. This was kind of exciting – being a girl who never received a Valentine’s Day gift from a boy, I couldn’t help but feel giddy. And I was touched to know that he was trying to get our relationship to work.

Then the arrangement arrived: white carnations with baby’s breath and some yellow daisy-like flowers serving as an accent in a glass square container.

You can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and I was trying really hard to be upbeat about the sitaution. All girls wanted horses at some point in their life, right?

Except I never really went through the horse/pony phase. Probably because my parents let me have a dog instead.

The arrangement looked like the kind you buy at the hospital for patients or the kind ladies send to their female friends to celebrate special occasions: a non-milestone birthday, a friendship bouquet, “Congrats on your new job!” floral basket…

My flowers said this to me: “I Love You As a Friend.”

Even trying to tell myself it wasn’t that bad didn’t help. My female co-workers would pause at my desk, “ooh” over the arrangement, and then ask if my parents or my grandmother had sent it. I tried to ignore that moment when their face fell when I told them my boyfriend had sent it.

I knew it was bad when one of the Directors asked me what kind of guy my boyfriend was for sending me carnations.

When some time had passed, I asked my boyfriend what prompted him to pick out that particular arrangement. I didn’t want to crush him, but I wanted to know why that one stood out as the sign of his affection for me.

“The vase was green, and I know that’s your favorite color” is what he told me. :\

Although the floral message that came with his gift wasn’t romantic (not his fault though – I don’t think many straight men know that there are meanings behind the color and type of flower), and it didn’t really make me fall for him all over again, I do give him credit for at least trying. And even though we only lasted for another 10 months or so, I can thank him for giving me my first real Valentine’s Day gift.

Oh yeah. I also thank him for helping me confirm that Valentine’s Day is overrated, and that my favorite gifts still come from my grandma – cookies or $5 in the mail. :)