Six months ago, when we were all asked to write a weekly blog – I read so many that began with “Today I begin a new life.” It was a powerful statement and one I felt, but didn’t acknowledge. Six months later, I truly am beginning a new life. I am overcome with emotion as to all the education that has been bestowed upon me. I was hungry for it and I swallowed it up whole. Many times I didn’t grasp the full meaning of what we were to think about, and I didn’t stop till I had a semblance of what “X” meant to me. Today I begin a new life. Literally and figuratively. I have the necessary tools to pull from my toolkit to deal with the various strange happenings around me on any given day. And I welcome whatever challenges I may come across.

I purposely held back writing this blog entry until our commencement webinar yesterday, My intent was to synthesize some thoughts that have transpired over the past couple of weeks. We, as a society, are adjusting to our new normal. I have had the pleasure and honor to be adjusting to my new normal for the past six months. I will not allow fear over Covid-19 take over my thoughts. It shall not ruin my health. I will conduct myself with common sense.

Week 2 of completely working from home. Appointments at clients’ homes are now a distant memory. Infrequent trips to the grocery store become the highlight of my week. Walks with Gustav are truly turning out to be “the” social activity in the neighborhood – dog owners congregate (I secretly believe we are all watching through our windows and pounce outside when we see another walking their dog) to let the canines socialize. Yeah – sure, whatever you want to call it, go for it! I know we are craving human contact, you know – the in-person kind so we camouflage it by saying it’s for the pups!

I have the sweetest neighbor who participates in this activity, she is immuno-compromised and has been in self-imposed exile for over 3 weeks. I’m sure she’s bored. Unfortunately, it has become evident she has not much to do but watch television. No, she doesn’t stream, she watches the news. ALL DAY LONG. EVERY DAY. She has become the neighborhood pessimist. She knows I don’t watch television and quite frankly I’m sure she doesn’t believe it, and that’s okay, but when she runs up to us with the latest negative news flash – well, I just disconnect. I’ve asked her on several occasions to not bother letting me know as I cannot control any of this. Well, this morning I lost it. Yup. She started another sentence with “I’d hate to be …..” and I cut her off and told then don’t be. Fractions of my old DNA spewed out yet I’m actually proud of my choice of words – in my previous life it would not have been nice and would have spewed off a litany of expletives. I cut myself off and it felt good!

Another week under the belt in our new normal. I am seeing people walk by my villa whom I’ve never seen before. Certainly, I’m sitting in my office at different times of the day than usual, for longer periods of time, which accounts for some of this activity, yet there are neighbors I know who are coming out and walking and enjoying what nature has to provide. I wrote about having faith in my last blog and it’s truly magnificent to see such activity from my desk!

I’m capitalizing on this time away from the day job to continue to work on me. Revisiting some of the old webinars, FINALLY completing my soundtrack in audacity (more thanks than you can ever accept Derwin), and pushing it to the limit with Go90Grow. My goal it to accelerate my learning while I have the time available to me. But I’ve encountered a problem – being at my computer daily for 4-6 hours and furiously taking notes is taking a toll on my body. I was smart enough to raise the computer 10 inches so I won’t be bending forward, and I am trying to be as cognizant as possible to not slouch my shoulders or back while at my desk as I work, but I didn’t take into account my arthritis. I work with those “hingamajiggies” on my pencils and pens to assist my throbbing joints but the frantic pace I’m keeping is starting to physically hurt me. My hands and fingers are sore beyond words. I’m honestly not too sure what to do about it. But, I go on nonetheless.

My arthritic joints

I AM LIVING IN THE MOMENT and I won’t apologize for that anymore!

What was the name of the movie Mark ran in our last webinar? You know, the one where that guy is talking to Meryl Streep about the bees pollinating? I guess I’m zoning in on my flower and I’m not going to let anything get in my way!

Six months ago I thought this would be too long a duration for such a program. With less than two (2) weeks to go I feel it isn’t enough time. Then I shrug old DNA away and remember I have been provided with excellent tools from which to go forth to think and act for MYSELF!. What better gift is there than that? To no longer be one of many. To be able to be unique. To not act like that circus monkey always clinging his cymbals. To be me and to know that I am on my journey!

I have improved – I can feel it, I can hear it in my voice, I can hear it in my mind and I have seen it with my results. I’m not where I want to be yet, and I’m not setting up un-achievable measures – I will get there when it’s right. My old DNA would have been rushing me to complete X, reach X goal, etc. I have more faith than ever and I will persist and suceeed!

I am directly affected financially by this new normal. Every time I start to get some of that dreaded feeling in my tummy I utilize the law of substitution. This too shall pass, alas it won’t pass in my timeline, it shall pass under God’s timeline. Until then, faith shall keep me going!

Isn’t it interesting that what is transpiring in our world somehow seems to tie directly into the weekly key? I’ve heard my fellow team members state this on more than one occasion and I’ve read it several times in the alliance area. Our community is becoming enlightened!

I’ve mentioned how my old DNA was rearing its ugly head lately and how I was struggling to overcome past bad habits. We are now living with a true pandemic. And the sensationalism the media spews is truly mind-boggling. People across the globe are acting in fear and this fear will fester and grow within these individuals and they will succumb to a continuous cycle of negativity (from what they are being fed from the “experts” out there in the media). This negativity will profoundly affect their subconscious thought and ultimately harvest sickness or decay or weakness. We reap what we sow right? Never before have I ever understood this as well as I have thanks to our study in MKE and what is transpiring around us.

This week’s key has provided me with peace. Perhaps solace. Definitely insight and wisdom. I am changing! And I have been able to rise above the masses and produce desirable thought which will inevitably lead to desirable results. And I thank the good Lord that I left my previous life in local government management five years ago, I don’t think I would be the person I am today and would definitely be making reactive decisions for my city due to this virus. God bless all those who must work through this.

This has happened twice now and I’m not one bit proud of it. I missed blogging last week. Literally. Completely and absolutely forgot about it. How can I forget a habit I have formed and enjoyed performing over the course of five months out of nowhere? What is going on with subby? I’m hoping that the lifting of a burden I’ve been carrying since January this week will allow me to refocus my hard-thought efforts and get back on track. Why is my old DNA ruling me again? It should be diminished greatly by now, not resurfacing. More contemplation yet again. I’m going to overcome, no matter what it takes.

I started Go90Grow this month and I’m overwhelmed. This is the busiest time of year for my line of work with the day job and I have been putting in hours and hours of work for literally no return on the investment of my time (in other words – no sales – well, actually one sale in February – gross earnings – $170). I am determined to figure out why I can’t or won’t or fear talking to others about my side gig or, most importantly, getting a team built.

I shared by vulnerabilities with the team on our talk Wednesday night and most everyone suggested I take a pause on Go90 and restart it once we are through with MKE. I’m afraid to act to grow my business, I’m afraid to miss out on the live webinars and I’m clearly overwhelmed as I haven’t been able to maintain my steadfast activites for MKE on a solid basis as I’ve had for all these months. Logic dictates I should listen to the masses, but then again, isn’t that why I’m in MKE – to think for myself?

Gratefully, I began listening to podcasts again while driving. Jay Shetty had a nice one on manifestation and discussed 3 common myths about manifestation. I don’t necessarily agree in whole with what he discussed but what caught my ear was how most people fixate on the end result – for example working towards “X” goal, and that in doing so the focus is on the effect (he says result) and not on the cause so people inadvertently do not make themselves happy because they are focusing on “X” and not enjoying the ride to get there!

He and Mark and Davene and many others before us have been drinking the same Kool-Aids and it shows – the answers will come to us in ways that we will not recognize and not necessarily in the way that we expect if we just manifest with our eyes open – like attracts like! Now where did I hear that before?

I have spent the better part of the last four months working on “me.” When I found out about the Master Key Experience I had joined it to better my sidegig. After the first webinar I realized I needed more work on me than on the biz. In this past week’s Key, Charles Haanel affirmed my current state with this sentence: “You take the necessary time to eat in order that the bodymay be nourished, why not take the time to assimilate your mental food?” I’m pleased I have been able to find the right food to feed my mind. It’s been a challenge and oh-so worthwhile. And yes, there have been a few obstacles, and thanks to the tools provided to us in MKE, I’ve been able to dodge most of them.

I’ve also come to the realization in recent weeks that I’ve left my business activities stray. While attending a local chamber event the speaker flashed the following on the screen, her favorite quote: “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” – John A. Shedd

Beautiful and safe indeed.Yet meant to be out in the open water.Always know where you are going

I’ve strayed off course and it’s time to get my bearings again. I finally have a purpose in life and I am DETERMINED to attain it. Some look at persistence in a negative mindset, for me it is my raison d’etre!

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. – John A. Shedd

So I started MKE for the business, after the first webinar I knew I needed to do this for me and I’ve mentioned this fact several times since September, and recently, I’ve also noted how I need to start refocusing my efforts on my business. I have acquired immense knowledge on how to better me and look at life with a whole new lens. What a tremendous blessing. And what I was doing with the business wasn’t working. To that I will shout from the rooftops. So I’m trying, but I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT THIS NEW WORLD! Much of what I have done, or more appropriately haven’t done, has been based in fear. More than that, I have found out, is that it has been fear induced via procrastination – in this case – my learning about my business. Thus I made the decision to embark on yet another journey – I am going to learn and acquire new skills with the Go90Grow program.

And as Mr. Shedd was attributed to saying, I have been safe in harbor my entire life. I wasn’t born to be safe in harbor. My ship is about to sail and I’m about to find out how strong I am built!

Wish me positivity.

Wish me strength.

But don’t wish me luck – luck has nothing to do with becoming the success I am going to be.

In closing, a random musing/reflection/comment:

Took 4 months but I finally found something that works for me and allows me to practice my index cards multiple times a day now – I am using a flash card app! I haven’t been faithful to reading through my cards every day and it was bothering me. Haven’t found “the” perfect app but the one I did find after several attempts is allowing me to shuffle through them AND doesn’t force me to use the front and back. I’ve used the app more times this past week than I’ve used my index cards in the past month and a half. Progress again – yay!

Well Mr. Mandino, I certainly have excelled – might not be my best but it sure as hell is fantabulous. And to this I celebrate!

I spend this valuable time now on my day job and I’m now developing a fruitful habit to work on my side gig each evening on a regular, and not sporadic, basis. This is my salvation and something I must devote more time to. Four months I have dedicated on the necessary mental work for me. Now the time has arrived to perform the needed physical work to succeed and attain my Definite Main Purpose. This too shall come.

Since choosing this journey in September I have rid myself of several idle habits, to wit ghastly wasters of my scant resources. I proudly affirm that I hardly ever turn the television on anymore.

Always a lead with a negative happening. I cannot be a witness to such anymore.

To my detriment, sometimes I am too literal a person (a habit slowly being purged from my life). Today I am proud to say I can read between the lines. Scroll IV contains numerous passages worthy of reflection and this particular section resonated with me: “Where there are idle mouths I will listen not; where there are idle hands I will linger not; where there are idle bodies I will visit not. Henceforth I know that to court idleness is to steal food, clothing and warmth from those I love. I am not a thief. I am a man of love.”

Each month my employer brings all designers together for product training and professional development. The company’s theme for 2020 is Win. What was supposed to be a rally cry had me cringing for more than an hour. It’s not about a continuous reach of moving the goalpost, right? That is the message delivered to us this week. I am SO grateful to this journey. In the past I would have blindly followed everyone on the bandwagon. Alas, I refuse to go for the carrot dangling in front of my nose any further. This job affords me the opportunity to sustain my financial needs and I will not fall victim to an ever-increasing performance standard that pushes for more and more sales. The climate has changed dramatically since my arrival there: five short years ago we were a group who helped one another, now it is an atmosphere of who’s to blame who for “X” and following the almighty dollar. This does not align with my belief system. The goalpost is firmly affixed and my aspirations have evolved. Bravo to me.

What have I been pretending not to know? What a deep question. One I’ve mulled over this whole week. As I continue to become a more aware adult thanks to this journey I found myself fessing up to many things I’ve been pretending (out of fear) to not know. This hasn’t been easy, but it’s been eye-opening to say the least. It’s a sobering realization that there’s more up there than I give myself credit for. And for those things I truly don’t know, I am learning to become one with the Universal and allow said knowledge to come to me when the time is right. If I’m going to be honest with myself, the world does not revolve around me and all will come in due time.

I have tried to find imagination in all I have encountered this week, this virtue is one I didn’t expect to have any issues with and voila – mega issues. I had expectations of success and it’s been a lean result week for this one. Win some, lose less, right? One more day to find a winner out there!

We were assigned the task of reading an obituary a day this week. Our instructions were clear – hard copy – not online. I’m still puzzled over this though I’ve found the exercise to be enlightening. The legacies left behind, the poor souls who were all but forgotten and everyone in between. Wonder where I’ll end up on the spectrum when my time is up?

Can’t end without one act of kindness I personally experienced this week. Upon my return to Florida from the cruise, it was a brisk 50ﾟ with a moderate wind and I was faced with having to wait for my brother to come pick me up at Port Everglades. I was standing outside for more than half an hour when one of the shuttle drivers saw me shivering. He offered to let me sit in his shuttle while he was waiting for his private party to arrive. I could not believe this generosity extended to me. Being sheltered from the cold was a life-saver. And he wouldn’t take a token of my appreciation when it came time to leave. There is goodness still in this world.

Being in an enclosed space (cruise ship) since the weekend has given me opportunity to reflect more than normal. I’ve had an amazing opportunity to re-watch every Digital Solutions webinar and caught more things I missed on the original evening. I’m grateful to be able to get away for a week and commit this time to myself (I can be at the beach within five minutes at home and can sit in the sun anytime I so desire – these are activities that are no longer high on my priority list).

I don’t normally have a name plate or wine in front of me when working!

It’s been slow going with limited service which has extended the time spent on each yet I’ve been determined to complete this task. I have two days left to re-watch weeks 6 and 7 of our MKE webinar to see if I can figure out why I’ve had such a mental block with the shapes and colors.

On the second day of this cruise I experienced yet another aha moment. I’m amazed at how aware I am becoming! What a gift. I am blessed.

I’ve been living with love in my heart more than I realized since this concept was introduced to me a short few weeks ago. This came to me out of nowhere in an elevator on the ship on my first day. I caught myself actually looking at the person I was saying hello to and not just saying hello as a pleasantry to be dismissed as soon as it was uttered – I truly looked at him. Then it hit me, this has become my new normal. True connection to that person whether they are willing to receive it or not. That is a gift – and one I’ve been giving without trying – another wall or layer has been taken down from my old world. Now, I will mindfully work on smiling when saying hi!

If this layer of my subconscious is working, then the rest of my subby is surely working towards my definite main purpose in life, right? I continue to have faith and am proud to recognize there is growth within me. Each accomplishment brings me closer to the Universal. Amen!

I started the week off with anticipation for Saturday’s Duplicating School with Mark. The closer it came the more fearful I became since I had put “all my eggs in that one basket” and I realized I built this all-or-nothing mechanism that should never have been there. Damn that old DNA rearing its ugly head. I asked a lot of questions, was truthful with my replies when asked questions, yet walked away bruised (NOT hurt) after being called selfish. Had a great conversation with my guide Louise and am now trying to work through how selfish was used since I only see it in a literal translation.

Last month I pitched an idea to the women’s club at my association: Movie Night on Tuesdays in our clubhouse. It was met with positive comments and I began to plan showing a couple of holiday-themed nights in December to “practice” for when everyone returned in the new year. They supported my request to use our community popcorn-making machine so I serve it as we begin the movie.

Last week Eat, Pray Love (this month’s theme is starting anew) failed me and we ended up watching Rebecca – completely not what I had in mind but it was free and available. Ended up being a super movie and was Alfred Hitchcock ‘s introduction to the US market. Apologies – I digress yet again! This Tuesday we watched Pay It Forward. Wow. Twist at the end. Impactful. Wow. To think when I planned this month’s movies I had no idea we’d be working on Franklin’s Makeover and that showing the movie this week fell on out Kindness week. That was a double-triple whammy for me. No one can tell me I wasn’t ready for this journey. I signed up to better my business, I am bettering me so much more and that’s fundamental to ever grow my biz. Who knew?