Thoughts from the Bend

Monday, June 24, 2019

I haven’t experienced people looking at me differently or
fearing me because of my race.

I think back to my teen years and what I remember is growing
up in a predominately white community with about eight African Americans in a high
school of about 2,000.That was nearly
25 years ago.I had an acquaintance in
high school named Aaron, he seemed like a great guy, we joked about stuff in
class, but never had any serious conversations about race or prejudice. We were
just two classmates.

During my freshman year of college in Bloomington, I made friends with some other people from
small towns and we bonded quickly with a girl named Jada on our floor.Jada was black and we were white.Jada was from a larger town, we were all from
small towns.We might have been a bit
young and a bit dumb, but I think we all learned a lot from each other.

We were open.We
asked questions.Do you want to be
referred to as African American? How come some people are offended if we call
them black? How come you don’t wash your hair every day? They seemed like
simple questions. We asked questions of her, she asked questions of us.We learned.

After a year and a half in Bloomington I transferred to
IUSB, but it wasn’t until several years later that I noticed a shift in my
thinking once again.

The day after graduation, I started at a local credit union
on the west side of South Bend. I didn’t know anyone. The first few days, I was
really cognizant that nearly everyone who walked through the door didn’t share
the same skin color as I did.I wasn’t
scared. It was just an observation. It reminded me of conversations I had with
Jada.

Two years later I moved to the west side of South Bend. I
thought I never would.Even 17 years ago
they had more homicides than LaPorte and I wasn’t sure I wanted to live in a
town that was so unsafe. But I don’t feel unsafe.However, I have noticed some things.

I notice people don’t ask questions. I live in a very mixed
neighborhood.I love my neighbors and I
wouldn’t want them to change.We look
out for each other, exchange pleasantries, and I think genuinely care about
each other. I hope that they feel they can depend on me and that our lines of
communication are open.I think we can
learn from each other.

Last week there was an officer involved shooting in our city
where a white police officer shot a black man.Since then, there has been an unrest and racial tension. I wish I had
the answer to make everything better. I wish that people could have
conversations that would make them understand and appreciate one another. Would
that be enough?

How does our city go about repairing the hurt in our
community? How do we continue to trust local law enforcement that should be
keeping us safe? How can we as a community each take responsibility to make a
change? Please share your thoughts…

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I like to work out in the community as much as possible. It
gives me a chance to see my fellow volunteers and appreciate the community in
which I live.

I believe that the current administration has done a lot for
the City of South Bend. The downtown
area has a new feel to it. It’s lively
and people are constantly walking around to meetings, the coffee shops or the various
downtown restaurants. South Bend is a
community of just over 100,000 residents, but if you hang out enough downtown,
you are sure to see a few familiar faces.

Lately, I haven’t enjoyed working downtown at all. I’ve noticed a real increase in the number of
mentally ill people and homeless. While
they know their limits as far as going into establishments and panhandling, it
doesn’t stop them at businesses with outdoor seating.

I’m sure I will receive mixed feedback on this blog. I have to admit, I have mixed feelings about
the whole issue. Back when I was in 7th
grade I remember seeing homeless people in Chicago and I would give them money
and feel bad for them and the fact that they didn’t have money, a home or food
to eat.

I guess somewhere during the time I was 13 and now, I’ve
lost some compassion. Because now, I’m just highly annoyed. Over the past few days, I’ve been sitting
outside a downtown coffee shop, drinking the beverage I paid for, and have not
been able to be at peace while working.

Instead, I’ve had people come up and beg for money. I’ve had a homeless person practically spit
in my face as he talked so incoherently I couldn’t understand a word he said. I
watched other patrons get up and leave because they were uncomfortable as he
approached them.

Today, one guy would not leave me alone to work so I got up
and left. I walked about a block down to
work from another establishment, which happened to be hindered by the same
problem, different people. Again, I was not the only one who was uncomfortable.

Public parks and outdoor spaces, which have been developed
largely for those who live and work in South Bend, seem to be unsafe.

About a month ago, the Lime Bikes made a debut in the Bend,
as well. What a cool idea for those in
the city to be able to use the bikes for a minimal fee. They lined certain areas downtown, in parks
and along the Riverwalk. How cool. Oh wait, some people are playing by the rules
while other people seem to find bikes that people forgot to lock or they’ve
made their own adjustments to them and are riding along for free.

There is a well-known mentally ill homeless man on the West
side of South Bend and I saw him riding down the street on a Lime Bike. I have to admit the look on his face was
priceless. It was pure joy, like
watching a young child ride a bike for the first time. But it’s not how the bikes are intended to be
used.

Maybe I need more education on the subject. I know that we
have the Homeless Center in South Bend and I have been a supporter of the
organization in the past. I commend them
for feeding those who live there and trying to help them get on their
feet. But during the day, they need to
leave the shelter and look for jobs. Is
downtown loitering where they end up?

I also have questions about the tent city that popped up
under the bridge last year. Now, I may
have my facts wrong on this because I caught a bit here and there on the news,
but maybe didn’t get the whole story.
The people in the tents were there and not in the Homeless Shelter because
they had addiction issues and were not sober enough to be at the shelter.
Correct?

So I think Mayor Pete and his administration made
arrangements for these people to live in alternative housing. I have an issue with this. People make
choices every day. They work or they don’t
work. They pay bills or they don’t pay
bills. If they are choosing to drink or do drugs, which inhibits them from
staying at the Homeless Shelter, why are we allowing them to live in
alternative housing?

I obviously don’t have all the facts and I don’t have all
the solutions either. All I know, is
that South Bend as a whole is trying to be a fun, safe place to live. But some
things need to be done to make out community feel safer. Does anyone else share my feelings? Or can
anyone shed light on any of the topics listed above? I feel like there needs to be a better balance...

Friday, May 20, 2016

Well Michiana, if you were one of the lucky ones sitting in
the Century Center this morning listening to the speakers at the Lead Michiana
conference, you are probably thinking about work and life a little differently
this afternoon.

I consider myself very lucky to have been able to attend the
conference this morning, because I got to hear several great speakers including
Darren Hardy and Les Brown.These are
motivational speakers who travel all over inspiring professionals to be great
and they were right here speaking in Michiana. How exciting is that!?!?

Justin Maust, host and founder of Lead Michiana, is an
inspirational speaker and trainer, team-builder and coach in the area. Many of
you may be familiar with his company, Leader Legacy, or his involvement with 5Star. I believe one of his goals today
was to get across the message that, “Greatness isn’t born. It’s grown.” And I think
there was a lot of growth within the approximately 1,000+ attendees.

Several years ago, I read the book, “The Compound Effect,”
by Darren Hardy.It was a great book
that made me think about how making small changes over time can have a great
impact.It was shortly before that or
shortly after that I began subscribing to the magazine, “Success.”It’s a monthly magazine that was brought back
to life by Hardy, with inspiring messages about entrepreneurs and tidbits and
reminders of how we can improve ourselves. I highly recommend it.

He was one of the speakers today.His words and messages did a great job of
keeping my interest for the time that he was up on stage, encouraging listeners
to become, “stunningly successful SuperAchievers.” This can be done by finding
the kryptonite that threatens our productive futures. Basically, what hinders
our productivity? These are mainly distractions including friends stopping by,
emails chiming in, phones ringing, etc.

He encouraged us to be world-class at a few things instead of
mediocre at many and gave us some suggestions on how to accomplish that task.
Did you know that for every distraction we have, it takes us about 23 minutes
to get refocused? For those of you who attended, I’m sure you have come to
appreciate the new thought of sprint/ recovery!

Les Brown’s message came with moments of contagious laughter;
and I couldn’t help but smile when he laughed! He’s one of a kind. His style of
mentoring comes in the form of stories, some with a bit of mixed in religion.
His message can be wrapped in to two words that when I hear the name Les Brown,
I’ll automatically think, “It’s possible.” After all, born in an abandoned building in
Miami and growing up in poverty, he’s decided to create his success instead of
blaming his circumstances.

But one of the things that will probably always stick in
mind and one that I will probably share with students I work with from now on,
is this phrase, “someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.”
Wow, what powerful words.How often do
we give others the power to allow their opinions to become our beliefs?

It’s possible to live your dream. It’s a simple message from
a man who touched many today.

If you didn’t get the chance to attend the 2nd
Lead Michiana event, you won’t want to miss it next year. After all, how many
leaders in Michiana like Justin Maust have the vision to bring these great
influential people to the area?

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Have you ever made a poor financial decision? Do you wish
that at some times in your life you had more guidance on the fundamentals of
financial literacy?

Well, I can say yes to both of those questions, but for the most
part, I’d say overall I’ve been rather lucky as far as my financial upbringing.

As a child, my parents gave me an allowance for completing
assigned chores.My brother and I were
taught to save up for items that we wanted, but we were also given the
occasional toy if we were out shopping with our parents.

When I was in high school, I worked several nights a week at
LaPorte Hospital in the kitchen, delivering trays to patients and scrubbing
pots and pans, along with patient trays.Glamourous work? I’d say not… but it did teach me great work ethic,
teamwork and probably most importantly, how to manage money.

My parents were very generous and paid for my car insurance
and gas as long as the car was used to get to work and to school.My part of the bargain was that I agreed to save
at least 60% of each paycheck and I could spend 40% for going out with friends,
etc. It seemed very fair and by the time I was ready to start college, I had a
pretty good amount saved up.I was proud
of the money I had saved.

Not all kids have parents who teach their children about
saving money and budgeting for needs and wants. Not all parents were ever
taught how to succeed at this, themselves!

The month of April is Financial Literacy month and it really
got me thinking about what that means, especially since I accepted the position
as Program Manager at Junior Achievement.My goal will always be to help students learn about financial literacy,
entrepreneurship and job readiness.I
feel as though we owe that to each student in the area.

As the JA Program Manager for St. Joseph and Marshall
Counties, I recruit volunteers to enter the classrooms in these counties and teach
curriculum that has been developed to help students learn how to save money,
how to determine the different between wants and needs, how to start a business
and how to know which career is something he or she might be interested, among
other things.

It’s been an eye opening experience for me and a very
rewarding one, as well. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and
please consider how you can impact someone else’s life as far as financial
literacy is concerned. A little bit of your time volunteering or a few dollars
donated for classes in this area can mean a lot to students who might not
otherwise be introduced to this type of learning.

If nothing else, think about your own financial well-being
and how you can make well informed decisions! Happy Financial Literacy month…
for a few more days J
Let's make sure that students today learn how to become financially savvy tomorrow!

Friday, October 30, 2015

When I read
their thoughts, it became clearer to me that I was just floating through
life.I decided that I needed to change
some things in my personal life and I lost some weight and started exercising
each day.I started my 50 state, 50 half
marathon by age 50 walking challenge and made small changes that have made
differences over time. After about two years, I felt back in control of my
personal life and felt good about the goals I was working on.These continue to be things I work on today.

Once I got
my personal goals established, I realized I was floating through my work
life.The passion I once had for my job
just wasn’t there anymore and I realized that I just wasn’t being my best self.
The motivated, happy person I had been when I accepted my position at the
Foundation had disappeared and I no longer felt like I was doing my job the way
I once had.So, I decided it was time to
work on my work life. After all, I spend more time at work than almost anywhere
else. The only thing that beats the amount of hours spent at work is time spent
sleeping!

I sat down
and really thought about what type of job I wanted to get.What could I be passionate about? There were several questions I asked myself
and I came up with the following list of things that I’d like in my next job:

1) It has
to have something to do with building relationships or partnerships

2) I’d like
to work with kids if possible (For the
last four years, I have been volunteering at Wilson Primary Center in South
Bend for Boys & Girls Club.I work
with students from K-4 every Tuesday and it’s been a blast.They are quite often the highlight of my
week.)

3) It has
to have some fun

4) It has
to make a difference in the lives of others

So I
started looking for jobs that I believed were a good fit for me and I’m happy
to say that Junior Achievement is just that.I will be working primarily in St. Joseph and Marshall Counties
recruiting volunteers to work with students and teach them about
entrepreneurship and economics. I’ll be doing some training and some actual
classroom work and I am really psyched about this new challenge.

Today marks
my last day of employment at The Medical Foundation. I’m thankful for the last
seven years there and all the things that I have learned. Most importantly, I’m
thankful for all my co-workers (yes, all!) because I have learned something
from all of them during my seven year journey there.

So as I
begin another chapter in my life, I am looking forward to the changes that are
about to happen, but I won’t forget the people and experiences that have
brought me to this point. Thanks ya’ll, it’s been an awesome ride J and I’m sure many of us will keep
in touch!

Monday, December 15, 2014

I believe in the Freedom of Speech. It is what allows me to
formulate my opinion and to make it public just as I am doing in this blog.

With that said, I happen to disagree with many of the public
opinions I have seen following the Michael Brown case and most recently the
case of Eric Garner.

I was raised to respect authority and to obey the law. For
this reason, I can honestly say that I have never had an unpleasant run-in with
police.

Had Eric Garner not resisted arrest, police would never have
had to use additional force. Mind you, I’m not giving police officers the green
light to use excessive force, but life is made up of choices. Eric Garner chose
to break the law, he chose to resist arrest.

While it is their right to express their Freedom of Speech,
I am disappointed in their choice to do so on this topic.

December 13th was the 11th anniversary
of the death of two local Mishawaka Police Officers, Brian Verkler and Thomas
Roberts. The basketball team claims they didn’t realize the coincidence, I don’t
think it matters.

Police officers should be respected and appreciated for
putting their lives on the line each day.Only they know how it feels to have a split second to react to a
suspected criminal. Hindsight is 20/20 and the media and public can rehash and
scrutinize the actions of police repeatedly.If only officers had the luxury of taking a few minutes to really study
the situation and ask questions before they have time to react. Unfortunately,
that just isn’t the case.

In the case of Michael Brown, I can’t even begin to believe
the backlash from the whole situation. It saddens me to see what they are doing
to their town.Because a young man was
shot, a young man who was believed to be making poor choices, hard-working
residents have lost their businesses due to looting.

I’ll never understand how that makes sense. People are
outraged at what they consider the “wrong doing” of one person, so they
continue to wrong others.

I haven’t blogged on this topic because I’m so tired of
hearing about it that I could scream.

But Saturday’s display by the Lady Irish was somewhat
upsetting. Over the years I have gotten to know several of the surviving family
members of police officers who have been killed in the line of duty and no one
seems to be outraged about the violence shown to them. Where was the outrage
when they couldn’t breathe? They weren’t breaking the law. They were trying to
serve and protect….

These recent stories and the decisions of both grand juries
not to indict have tarnished the thousands of police officers who help others
on a daily basis.Remember, we don’t
know the whole story of what happened.We
only know what the media has focused on.The grand jury has the most information, much of what is not made
public.

It’s not about hiring more minority police officers, it’s about
respecting authority and making choices that are good and honorable. These two
cases could have totally been avoided had better choices been made.

Monday, November 24, 2014

34 houses and apartments, 42 vehicles, and 29 couches. You
might be wondering what those numbers signify. Those numbers signify change,
something Pam Russell didn’t mind.Most
of us resist, back away and struggle to accept change, fighting it every step
of the way. But that wasn’t the Pamster.She loved change. (ok those numbers might be a little high!!! :))

Pamster’s passing is a big change for us, the ones she left
behind. And how we choose to handle that change as we move forward is something
each of us has to work on. I remember when she was first diagnosed with cancer
and after our family knew, she posted something on facebook about it at the end
of January 2010.She wrote that the
cancerman had gotten her, but she thought it would be ok. She was ready to beat
it. The Pamster truly was a trooper, not only with her dealings with cancer,
but also her other numerous procedures including her beloved Twila and Trudy
Titanium… which is what she referred to her knee replacements.

She continued her treatments with optimism and humor, often
referring to her breast cancer as taking Mavis and Martha, the “mamms”
away.She went through surgeries,
several rounds of chemotherapy and several bouts of radiation.Throughout the last 4 years, the Pamster fought
hard against the cancerman, but it was a battle she just wasn’t able to
overcome.

On Friday, she lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind
her three daughters, Tearsa, Katie and Beth, and their families, Rob, Jack and
Ella, Matt, Joey and Lauren.If you’ve
ever been around the Pamster, you know that she loved her grandkids very much,
always wanting smooches from the kids. I remember walking into her house one
afternoon and there was a tent in the living room. It seemed a little odd to
me, but it was nothing of the sort to her, she was simply getting ready for
camping out with Jack and Ella. I believe they had plans to roast marshmallows
over the stove and tell stories before bed.

A few summers ago, I stopped by at lunch time and she was
outside in the pool, measuring cups all over the deck, because of course Joey
and Lauren were coming to swim and they loved to pour water from the pool into
the buckets.

It’s these stories that we’ll have to do our best to keep
alive, because if there is one thing that’s for sure, it was that Pam loved her
kids and her grandkids.

Tearsa, when I think of you, I think of the strength that
your mom represents.As you continue to
get your principal’s license, it reminds me of the work your mom did while
raising the three of you.She attended
school to become a teacher, and I am sure it was hard to balance school and
home, but she did it.Your mom had
several students whom she formed special relationships with, because she knew
that those kids needed someone to believe in them.For those of you who don’t know, Pamster was
an alternative education teacher at Penn High School for many years. She saw
potential in her students and encouraged them to succeed, something you do with
your students, Tearsa.

Katie, your initiative to return to school was something
that made the Pamster very happy.I
think she saw a lot of herself in you.She
thought your studies in New York were fabulous. And while you don’t knit or
sew, your creative side is a lot like your mothers. Your knack for making
jewelry and for seeing things with a creative eye, very much comes from your
mother.

Beth, what I remember most about you growing up, was the
Kingsbury house.I’m not sure exactly
how old you were when you lived there, but I’m thinking you were around 6th
grade.You were so tall and we used to
watch out the window as you flipped around doing gymnastics in the front yard
for hours. Your mom, your sisters and I were amazed at your determination.No one could tell you that you couldn’t
something, you were out to prove them wrong! You were a huge support to your
mom during the last few years, and if you didn’t already know it, your phone
calls made her day. She loved your goofy stories or just your quick recaps of
the day.

The Pamster always called me “Weensie” and at times it would
embarrass me to be out in public with her yelling across the aisle, “Weensie,
look at this…” It makes me a little sad today to think that won’t happen again.

As the holidays draw closer, it’s another change our family
will face. But we’ve got a strong, close knit family and I know that although
it’ll be different, we’ll embrace this change like the Pamster would.

I prefer to think of her today in Heaven with my Grandpa and
my Nana and all the others who were welcoming her on Friday. And while we will
all miss her here, I take comfort in knowing that she is no longer in the pain
she has been.And I know that I have
another caring angel on my side…