Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: Primping for Preschool

Marissa Jaret Winokur co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, and is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband Judah Miller.

Winokur, 37, was diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate.

Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom.

In her latest blog, Winokur dresses up to scout out a new preschool for her son — and needs your advice on going away for work.

Okay, so I left the other preschool — not just because they saw me lock Zev in the car — but really (I swear) because it was so far away from my house. I actually started stressing out thinking about if there was an earthquake and I couldn’t get to my son. I also noticed that the friends I did make there lived so far away that scheduling playdates became too hard to plan around L.A. traffic.

So I set out to find a closer preschool! Well who knew preschools were like colleges, with waiting lists and stuff?! OH MY GOD THEY ARE 2 YEARS OLD!!

Preschool Panic

The other morning, I got up an hour early and did my hair and makeup to go on a tour of a preschool. I didn’t want to make the same fashion mistake I did last time (if you don’t know what I’m talking about read my “mommy bullies” blog). I curled my hair and actually put on an outfit instead of just leggings and a sweatshirt! I wore a nice sweater, small heels and lipgloss.

When I drove up to the school, I decided to take off my heels and put on my UGG boots — the school looked big, who’s going to look at my feet anyways? I actually laughed at myself walking in like an impostor, all dressed up and made up. I saw other parents dropping their kids off and I thought, “If my son goes to this school nobody here will ever see me dress this way again.”

So I walk up to the front office basically in character. I thought, “What if I was cast as a well-put together mom who really had her act together?” I was so happy I was the first one there for the tour! It was 9:14 a.m. (it started at 9:15 a.m.) and no one else was in the waiting room. If this was a Top Model challenge, the other models were about to be disqualified! So do I win by default? Does Zev get in because he has the best put-together mom, who shows up on time and who would NEVER EVER lock her son in the car? I win, I win!

NOPE — I lose! The freakin’ tour started at 9:00 a.m.! Yup. And it’s so not my fault! My husband set up the meeting, but then couldn’t attend. So now I am the mom wearing the weird combination of too much makeup and UGG boots! I race to where the secretary tells me the tour must be and they’re already in the classroom. I find the classroom just a second before I thought I would, so as I walk in I am the mom on my BlackBerry cursing out my husband via text message.

I walk in and kind of fumble by making a bad joke about my idiot husband. No one laughs — but no one seems to care, either. As I look around, I am the only one dressed up! OMG! The other moms are so cool — wearing sweats and t-shirts and messy updo hair styles.

I want to shout, “I am one of you!” I want to scream, “I didn’t take a shower today and I wore this last night!” But sadly it wasn’t true. I’ve now turned into the people I hate! I spent lots of time getting ready so that strangers would think I was always this fancy — more time than I spent getting ready to go out for dinner with my husband and his friends over the weekend. I might as well be wearing skinny jeans and holding a latte for breakfast.

Mom and Zev on Thanksgiving ’09 – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur

Feeling Weepy

Anyway, I walked around the preschool, which was so cute and beautiful it didn’t feel real. It felt like I was watching a movie of what a preschool should be. Soon, I became a total emotional mess.

First, we saw the classrooms for the 2-year-olds and the kids were so sweet. Then when we saw the 3-year-olds, I started feeling weepy! The kids looked so big and grown up. They seemed so much older than my little baby Zev! Oh no! Is he gonna be THIS big in one year?!

People always told me it goes by so fast and that before I know it, he will be all grown up. This was the first time I felt it. By the time we hit the 4-year-olds room, I was fighting back the tears! Seriously, I was on the verge of crying. I stayed after the tour to discuss availability. I have decided that this is where Zev needs to go! I have to wait to see if there is a class starting in January.

Then I ran home and spent the afternoon with my baby! I missed five phone calls and a billion texts — YES, one billion!! No multitasking for me — just mommying. I mommied Zev for as long and as hard as he would let me. I lied to my manager and said I was in a production meeting. I suddenly felt the same kind of separation anxiety that my son has been experiencing. I can’t imagine my baby in that 4-year-old class. They seemed so big!

Tips for Thanksgiving?

Next week I’m flying off to N.Y.C. to cover the Thanksgiving Day Parade for CBS. I’m gonna be the mom on the street, so if you’re there, say “hi” to me, and if not, watch me on CBS! I am so excited to go back to MY N.Y.C.!!

I was going to bring Zev but then thought it wasn’t fair to make him fly six hours for just three days of being there, then fly six hours home. At this age, a long plane ride has to end in Walt Disney World or it’s not worth it!

But it’s my first time leaving Zev for more than one night! I am very stressed and am so worried about my lil’ man. He is going to be so confused! Do I tell him? Or do kids not understand the time thing? Can I just say I’m “at work,” not out of the city? :(

My husband is taking Zev to my in-laws, so I know he will be full of candy and presents and maybe he won’t miss me at all. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. My advice: Enjoy your families and screw your diets!

I really enjoy your blog. I would tell Zev that you are going on a trip. That is always what I tell my kids when my husband is away. My three year old always says ” i will be a good listener while daddy is away”.

As far as preschool, they won’t remember you. When Zev starts attending there, they will see you for the mom you really are. Have a nice holiday!

Anonymous
on November 19th, 2010

I love Marissa’s Blogs!

Lindsay
on November 19th, 2010

One way to explain to a two year old about how long youll be gone is to explain it in “sleeps”.. how many sleeps till Mommy is back. Since children that age have no concept of time it would help him to understand when your returning. you can even put three stars up on the wall where he can reach.. and take one down for every sleep.. until you return!!

Have a great thanksgiving!! Its a pleasure to read your blog and know that Im not the only mom who hates to leave her child!!

miche
on November 19th, 2010

Glad you found a daycare, we had to change daycares for my daughter and it was a nightmare to find a new one!

I had to leave my daughter for a week to go to a conference for work when she was a little younger than Zev. She did great and we were able to facetime over the computer each day and night.

This is also a GREAT opportunity to get him a big stuffed animal who can be his sleeping buddy from now on and wean him off of having you in his bed. Good luck with the trip!

Erin
on November 19th, 2010

Marissa, I love your blog! And I love watching you on The Talk!

About leaving for a couple of nights, yeah – that can be a tricky one to explain. I would go with the simplest explanation possible. I’d also have your husband take a ton of pictures so Zev can show off what he did while mommy was away and when you come home he can tell you all about each picture. That way he starts to understand that even while you’re away he still had fun, he made it thorough okay.

Our eldest daughter is a ham and the picture taking took her focus off the fact that I was away one weekend. She had lots of fun telling me about her adventures – I think the photos started to reinforce the notion that she was physically without me for a few days but life went on and she had fun just she and dad and the dogs! Put it this way – it’s nearly certain that you’re going to have more angst about the separation than Zev! And that’s okay. You’ll both make it!

And have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

molly
on November 19th, 2010

She sure sends a lot of time worrying about what other mom’s think of her. She needs to gain some self confidence.

anonymous
on November 19th, 2010

OMG – word! your stories always bring a tear to my eye. so many of us living this exact life! too funny!

jessicad
on November 19th, 2010

She obviously has a reason to worry since so many women judge to harshly.

I felt the same way until my daughter was around 2, I was afraid to take her out in public because other women will glare at you if your child isn’t dressed nicely enough or they start throwing a tantrum, it’s ridiculous.

My daughter has given me more confidence that I’ve ever had, now most of the time I couldn’t care less what other people think of me or my parenting style. My daughter is sweet, well mannered, and intelligent, that says it all.

Marissa has one of the brightest and cutest smiles I’ve ever seen and she radiates happiness, love that!

amandamay
on November 19th, 2010

oh yeah…. been there, done that with the LA preschool thing. i toured so many and stressed out so much that thinking about doing it again in a couple of years (which we had to do for elementary school) practically gave me an ulcer. luckily we found a fantastic preschool by chance that ended up being just right for us – things DO work out in the end :-)

and don’t let the negative nellies on here make you feel bad about worrying about the other mommys at school. this is LA – it’s a WHOLE different boat. i still stress about it lol

My son is in 2nd grade at a private school in LA and this morning we were SO SO late – i seriously just grabbed the clothes i’d been wearing last night and ran (with my son) for the car. it wasn’t til i checked myself in the rear-view mirror, as i was getting out of the car to walk my son in that i realized i’d forgotten to take my makeup off last night – hello major raccoon eyes! and of course i’d forgotten my sunglasses. yep. so i walked my son in past all the moms in their skinny jeans and effortless “no makeup” makeup and “i spent 3 hours on this hair but it looks like i just rolled out of bed looking this way” hair. i definitely got some snarky looks, but c’est la vie. we’ve been at this school 3 years so they pretty much know this is par for the course for me! :-)

don’t worry, you’ll make a few nice mommy friends at school… it really doesn’t matter what the majority think. remember, it’s quality not quantity!

Lilianne
on November 19th, 2010

I think that every woman has spent some time worrying about what other women think of her! And those that say they haven’t are probably not being totally truthful. Tell me you haven’t walked into a room and felt all the women sizing each other up…”ok, I am prettier than her. She is thinner than I am. She is better dressed” and so on and so forth.

I let my husband in on a little secret that most men don’t know and most women won’t own up to. And that is women rarely dress or put on make up or do their hair for a man or sometimes even themselves…they do it for OTHER WOMEN. Lol.

I am at a point in my life now (age 41!) where I don’t let myself worry about it too much. I do suffer from feeling too fat or not having a cute outfit or things like that but I just tell myself that a nice smile and a friendly, warm attitude are WAY more important than what I look like, especially to others. I just think that if you meet someone new they probably won’t go home remembering whether your hair was perfect, or what color your shirt was..but they just might remember how nice you were and that you seemed genuine.

My advice about Thanksgiving? Tell him you are leaving but don’t offer too much explaining since he is so young and won’t really get it anyway. It WILL be harder on you than it is him, for sure! I can remember many moments of crying my eyes out as I left my girls for a weekend! Just don’t let him see that. Try to leave with smiles and laughter.

I can promise you too that leaving him this for the weekend won’t be nearly as hard as leaving him on the day you take him to college. :) My oldest is a senior in college now and that day we dropped her off is forever etched in my mind. Walking out with her crying was the HARDEST thing I have ever done and I cried the whole 3 hour trip home! Lol.

Further advice to all Moms with young ones…enjoy it and them while you can! Let the dishes go unwashed for a bit and the laundry unfolded. Play with them, read to them, dance around the room grooving to your favorite songs…just BE with them because it goes by too fast. :)

MG
on November 19th, 2010

Fortunately, right now, our schedules work out so we don’t have to worry about preschool. Although, I would love to get my daughter in part time when she’s 3 & hopefully potty trained.

I’ll probably get reamed for this one, but when my daughter was about 5 mos old, she started taking trips to Cali without me. I was actually more miserable about it that she was. It was a really hard decision to make, but I only get a certain amount of time off each year, my work schedule was so up in the air & neither my mom or my mom in law were working at the time. So about every 5 mos, they would take her for a week & have some bonding time.

As difficult as it was for me, it really helped my daughter establish a relationship with her grandparents. I would call 3 times a day, in the morning, on my way to work, & on my way home from work, & my mom in law took TONS of pics.

I think that this trip may be harder on you then it will be for Zev.

socal
on November 19th, 2010

marissa! i LOVE your posts! my husband works on dwts, and so i have a soft spot in my heart for you. you are a great mama, and your son is so lucky to have you! just wanted to send you some love and thank you for making me crack up over my morning latte and almost spew it on my skinny jeans! (haha).

Brookie
on November 19th, 2010

Love your blog Marissa! I too struggled with the preschool thing. We put our daughter in a really nice preschool- main reason being it was literally right across the street from where I work. I quickly realized that we were basically the “poor family” of the place but I’ve been lucky in that we have not experienced any snobby encounters. We’re not really poor by any means, but I’m also not dropping my daughter off in a Lexus SUV, all dressed in my tennis outfit because all I have to do after I drop the kids is head to play tennis! I just remind myself that the school is good for her- not about me. I hope you love your new place too!

Shonna
on November 19th, 2010

These posts are great.

Jen
on November 19th, 2010

It’s funny how much appearance is an issue here. I take some time to put myself together because it makes me feel good. I had two kids 20 months apart, a baby with colic and health problems. I went through a depressed phase and looked a little frumpy. When I got out of the first difficult year I decided to look nicer, like I did before I had kids!

Honestly, I only shower every other day, take 5 minutes for my makeup, 10 minutes to dry my hair every other day, and you know what? Putting on a cute outfit takes no longer than putting on sweats! My kids aren’t neglected while I “primp” myself. I let them watch 30 minutes of Mickey Mouse in the morning while I get ready. Do moms wearing sweats never let their kids watch TV or take some time for themselves? We don’t need to be complete martyrs.

Please stop stereotyping moms who take pride in their appearance. I’m a down to earth, friendly mom, and I’m sensitive too! Your comments make me feel offended!

Theresa
on November 19th, 2010

Love your blog! Look forward to reading it every week.

KB
on November 19th, 2010

Heh heh – you crack me up. While your feelings are totally natural, I encourage you to try to worry less. I hate to think of moms worrying so much that it takes the joy out of parenting.

As for your trip – a couple suggestions.

1) Explain it by the number of night-nights you’ll be away. “You are going to sleep at night three times and then I’ll be back!” This is actually a great way to deal with separation anxiety too. “You are going to play, and then have lunch, and then take a nap and play a little more. And then mommy will be here!” That’s easier to understand then, “Just 6 hours.”

2) Buy two copies of a new book. Each night at bedtime, call up and have your husband sit with the baby in his lap, turning the pages in the book. You then read the book to him over the phone. I did this when I had to go away for a week when my daughter was 2 and my son was 6. They loved it and so did I. It was like I was still there at bedtime, reading a story as always.

3) Take a calendar and circle the date you’ll be back in big red marker. Your husband can then make a big deal with each day taking a black marker and crossing off each day as it passes, and then saying, “Let’s see. One, two, three days and mommy gets back.”

I agree with the other poster who said not to be emotional. Just say “Oh, you are going to have so much fun with Daddy and Grandma & Grandpa. Then you can tell me all about the things you did!” I would avoid crying or saying “I am going to miss you sooooo much” – that can feel like pressure to a little kid, and make him feel like it’s his fault you’ll be sad.

Molly
on November 19th, 2010

I love, love (and appreciate) your advice for having a happy Thanksgiving…enjoy your family and forget about the weight stuff..at least be kinder to ourselves. We don’t get reminded of that enough this time of year.

I think you should tell your son you are going on a short work trip and with the support of your husband and his family, it should go well! You are fortunate for the family support.

gdfg
on November 19th, 2010

Sorry, but it really irks me when she says she “hates” moms who dress up / look nice when they take their kids to pre-school. I never leave the house without makeup or putting on decent clothes and guess what? It only takes me about two minutes to get ready. Really no more time than it would take me to throw on sweat pants and an old t-shirt.

But I would NEVER criticize someone for taking their kid to pre-school in pajamas, without makeup, etc. That’s their choice and there’s nothing wrong with it.

gdfg
on November 19th, 2010

Jen, I agree completely with what you said! Looking nice always makes me feel better and that’s why I do it.

Sarah
on November 19th, 2010

Again a hilarious blog, I feel like we would be best friends in real life! My husband and I both travel for our jobs and we tell my son we are going on a field trip. He seems to respond to that (he is in Kindergarten and they have gone on a field trip or two) we just have to make sure he knows it will be for more than one day!

Ellie
on November 19th, 2010

I am laughing so hard right now because I know what you mean. I took my stepson to soccer a few weeks ago – and it was cold! It was all I could do to bundle my 12 month old up and make sure that my older one had enough layers on. I put on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, brushed my teeth and threw my hair on top of my head only to get there and feel like an oger next to the mom that had on her skinny jeans, with her $500.00 fake riding boots and her cute sweater and vest with fur around the collar – really people, it was 9:00 am on a Saturday!!!!

I feel ya, Marissa, and as much as we want to say “as long as my son is happy and healthy, that’s all that matters” but we really do want to fit in with the other moms too. Really!!

NYC Dweller
on November 19th, 2010

She describes what I feel too, most times. It’s the same thing over here in NYC. I thought the same thing, Waiting lists, entry exams?! He’s only two! I really like her blogs.

Busy Bee
on November 19th, 2010

I think Marissa tries too hard to fit in, and very desperate to fit in. She just comes across as a social climber, trying to climb to the A-list. It’s quite pathetic really.

Sue
on November 19th, 2010

I get so excited when I see your blog is up to read! I love how honest and down to earth you are. Thanks so much for sharing all your feelings and thoughts!

I have a 5 month old little angel. I love her to death! Its so hard being at work and away from her. When I am tired after work and get home, I try to keep up my energy and focus on her for the night. Its hard but I wouldn’t do it any other way. I cant wait for her to grow up but I want her to be a baby forever too.

I look forward to your next blog! YOU ROCK! You are an amazing mom too! HAPPY THANKSGIVING! NO DIETS HERE!

Erin
on November 19th, 2010

Love reading your blogs! I’m not a mom (yet) but really enjoy reading everyone’s adventures and stories. I love getting a glimpse of what people go through and their experiences with their children.

On a side note, I got to see you in Hairspray and I sat in the front row. It was an experience I’ll never forget and you’re an amazing actress and singer!

Tifanee
on November 19th, 2010

My #1 rule with my daughter is honesty. I don’t give her every detail, I tell her the details I think she can handle. As they get older, they can handle more details. I want my daughter to know that Mommy is working and is going out of town to handle business. I would rather she knew I was taking care of business. It eases any anxiety if they know you are being truthful. Wouldn’t you hate it if your in-laws let it slip that you were in NYC at a parade when you said you were at work which he knows is in LA? So why am I staying at Nana and Papa’s house if Mommy is in LA?

Stephanie
on November 19th, 2010

I laugh a lot when I read your blog and want to cry right along with you. My son is 20 months old and I have already signed him up for camp next summer and now am signing him up for his 2 year old class for September, and it isn’t even 2011 yet!!!

Thank you for what you blog about, show biz or not, it’s all the same!!!

Bebe
on November 19th, 2010

Oh yes I just went through that too and my son still misses his headstart. He always says he wants to go back to his old teacher and this his old school was beautiful, it makes me feel so sad. I’m dreading the Kindergarten thing because that will be another school another change for him! Hopefully by then he will understand how this school thing works, as for now I’m just a mean mommy that took him away from his favorite teacher and friends :(

FLH
on November 19th, 2010

I’m sorry, I think your stories are great about your son, and you are obviously a loving mother, but don’t you recognize your own hypocrisy when describing women who take the time to make themselves look good? You claim you think they are judging you, and who knows, they could be. But aren’t you just as guilty for assuming what kind of people they are because of how they dress? I am also someone who takes pride in my appearance because it makes me feel good. I workout because it makes me feel good and keeps my stress down. And sorry to say it, but appearance do matter and always will.

Humans are visual creatures. I would want to appear professional and polished not for the other women, but the for the teacher I’m about to trust my child with. I would want to give the impression that I am someone who is invested in my child’s education, I’ve done my research and I’m responsible and will be an active participant. My family was pretty broke growing up, but my parents always dressed their best for parent/teacher conferences because of this very reason. I’m sure part of it was they also didn’t want to embarrass me by showing up looking like pond scum and having all my classmates snicker about them.

It’s fine if you want to judge the women who took the 1/2 hour it takes to shower, put on decent clothes, run a brush through their hair and even apply a bit of makeup, as stuck-up, snobby, judgmental women, but don’t whine that you think they are judging you as an unorganized slob because you don’t do the same. Acceptance works both ways doll, and its a good lesson for your son to see you treat everyone the same too, and not sneer about lattes and skinny jeans within his earshot. Where do kids learn how to be bullies? From their parents.

Halley
on November 19th, 2010

Girl, I cried the same way when my son started pre-school…and yes, to get into it, we had to go to interviews and jump though all kinds of hoops, but I absolutely loved it!! And my son was SO well prepared for kindergarten- and now he’s in first grade! Time goes SO fast. When I took him to back to school night for first grade, I burst into tears-ugly tears- like an idiot, right in front of his teacher. The class room just looked SO grown up. In fact, if I go over it in my mind, I cry a lot at my son’s school, lol! I cant help it.

As for your trip, I would tell Zev that you are going on a trip and so is he. That you are going to New York, and he is going to grandma and grandpa’s and then you are both going to come home. Make it sound like fun, something to look forward to. He’ll take his cue from you. If you’re fine, he will be too. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Anonymous
on November 19th, 2010

This blog makes me thankful for my mommy friends, who would never judge or criticize and are always supportive when I feel like the worst mom ever. I can’t even imagine this life where what you wear to your kids school matters THAT much!

Anonymous
on November 19th, 2010

When riding a scooter, Zev should always wear shoes and a helmet. Always a helmet!!!!

J
on November 19th, 2010

Oh yeah, because he’s doing mach 3 on that scooter Anonymous. Give us a break, the kids probably barely moving on that thing.

jeanne
on November 19th, 2010

Ok – I’m single and I don’t have any chiildren and I LOVE READING THIS BLOG! She’s funny, honest, normal and loves her kid/family. Marissa – you’re not afraid to say what so many of us (or at least I) think.

Tee
on November 19th, 2010

Marissa, your blogs are so much fun to read! I agree with the other posters. Leaving Zev for a few nights will most certainly be harder on Momma than it is on baby!

LOL- While it’s true that Zev probably won’t get hurt on a little scooter, I agree that he should be wearing a helmet. If for no other reason, it’s a good idea because it’s setting an example for him when he moves on to a skateboard, bike and whatnot. Just my opinion on the subject.

SAR
on November 19th, 2010

What a little cutie pie! I love his mop of curls in the first pic.

Jill
on November 20th, 2010

Regarding the comments about the scooter….I agree. Surprised there were not more of them. If this was Suri Cruise or Levi, there would be a ton. It doesn’t matter what type of scooter, you should always teach safety first.

I also agree with all of the comments about fitting in, how to dress, etc. It is getting a bit redundent.

I have to admit when I saw she was going to be gone for a few days, while I think that is wonderful…..the first thing I thought was, how is he going to sleep alone? That is another topic that she continually brings up….I think three times now. Maybe her husband will sleep with him or will he sleep alone? If he sleeps alone then maybe he can do it by himself all the time.

Anna
on November 20th, 2010

Jeeeeeeezus, mommies, can we lighten up just a little bit????? Why must some of the commentators on here find new & bitchy ways to tear Marissa down? Using words like slob and redundant and desperate and pathetic? *shaking head in disbelief*

Happy Thanksgiving indeed.

mochababe73
on November 20th, 2010

I didn’t read all of the comments, but I have a small word of advice. Be more confident. Be you. You spend waaay too much time worrying about what other mothers think about you. None of these women are that important in your life.

Enjoy your son. I look at my now 12 year old who is only 2 inches shorter than me and think, “Did I actually give birth to that?” His voice has changed and is middle school wanting to go out with friends. It’s scary and amazing all at the same time. My husband and I are raising this boy who will be a man before we know it.

I look at my now 6 year old, and I try to be the mother that I wasn’t with my older one. We spend alot more time together, and I don’t sweat the small things.

Being a parent has become alot more enjoyable. I love everything about being a mother to two sons. Raising decent members of society is scary, fun, and exhilarating all at the same time. There is no greater or scarier job in the world.

Jacqui
on November 20th, 2010

The thing about appearance and feeling that other moms look down on you for not dressing well or taking care of yourself is that, a few years from now, it will be the other children who are judging you, and it will be a lot more harsh than any adult.

I’m generally very casual, I only rarely “dress up” but I do take really good care of myself. I exercise A LOT, eat well, take care of my skin, hands and feet, and shower A LOT – often just quick rinses – so that even if I’m not dressed to kill, I still look and smell clean, like hygiene is important to me.

When I was younger, I did these things for myself. Now that I’m a mom, I do the things for my family. I don’t want my kid’s mom to be the sloppy, stinky, gross lady when I go to pick him up from school.

Taking pride in your appearance can be perceived as selfish, but I think that more often than not that is a misconception. Generally, people who take good care of themselves take good care of others as well.

By the way Marissa, you look pretty darn cute in every pic you’ve posted!

josie
on November 20th, 2010

luv the spidey scooter and matching accessories…where can i buy them? thanks

Heather
on November 20th, 2010

I’m going to get jumped on for saying this, so I’m going to say it as respectfully as possible. There’s NOTHING wrong with loving your child, but Marissa comes across as an overbearing mother who smothers her child. I grew up with a mother like that, and while it might be fine to do when the child is Zev’s age, if you continue they’re just going to resent you as they get older. I wasn’t allowed to do ANYTHING growing up, and I fought to go away to university just so I could escape my parents. This is just my opinion, but I know it’s been echoed here before.

He’s 2 now. He should be sleeping through the night, and he should be ok to be in his own bed. You’re just enabling him by giving into every little whim he has. Go away on your trip and don’t feel bad. He may be only two but he does need to learn some independence, and this is a good opportunity to show him that he CAN stand on his own two feet without mommy one step behind him. It’s hard being away from your child (I know, I have to go away for work occasionally), but you know he’s well taken care of and he’ll be alright in the end. And just think of how happy he’ll be to see you again!

Nicole
on November 20th, 2010

I love love love your blog! You are one amazing mommy!

Karen
on November 20th, 2010

The perfect antidote to worrying about what others think? Turning 40! I’m now 42, and don’t give a flying fig what anyone else thinks of me. It’s the consolation prize of turning 40. As always, your blog overflows with love for your precious son. What a blessed little boy to have such a loving mom! Glad you found a sweet place for him!

MG
on November 21st, 2010

In reference to the Helmet issue, It could be possible that they are really difficult to find for kids under the age of 3. I bought my 2 year old a big wheel & was looking for a helmet to go with it, I couldn’t find anything that would fit her, everything was too big. So please, those of you talking about the helmet, where do you find them for a 2 year old because I can’t find one.

OMG yes he does normally wear a helmet!!! But yes you guys are totally right about that he should always wear one … I will say it was his first day and he opened the box and put on the pads and went outside … he didn’t get much further then the photo… we actually went swimming (notice dora swim diaper.)

HOWEVER yes he does have a helmet. I was able to find one that fit his head in toys r us bike section. (someone asked.) ALSO someone asked about scooter and pads – Also bought at Toys R Us, it came as a set … scooter, pads and lil gloves. His BFF has the same thing but in buzz light year. so fun.

Judah has been waking up with Zev the past few mornings (he has been making it through the night) so that when I am gone he won’t be as stressed … it’s been working well and I have been sleeping in. EVEN BETTER! :)

Joanna Walker
on November 21st, 2010

Um, first your blog is hysterical and so honest. Thank you for writing it the way you do it makes all the other moms feel normal!

second, definitely tell him, even if he doesn’t understand in full your husband and family can reinforce with ‘remember mommy was telling you she would be in new york for three days’ – they can make a calendar or do a count down at night time before bed or when he gets up in the morning etc. it’ll help him to make sense of it the next time you have to go to.

can’t wait to see the parade! Happy THANKSGIVING!! :D

Jill
on November 21st, 2010

GiRo me2 bike helmet for infants on amazon

Jo
on November 21st, 2010

For all those who have been commenting on Marissa needing to work on her self confidence or stop judging other women, you clearly do not know anything about her career besides this blog!! This woman OOZES self confidence, self acceptance, and love and respect among women!!!! She is strong, confident, and has been encouraging young girls her entire career to try to do the same no matter who they are. Her satirical commentary on different types of moms is absolutely on point and any mom with a good sense of humor, in sweats or Louboutins, could relate to it!

As a professional in the field of Early Childhood Education working with infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, Marissa is the kind of mom teachers like myself pray for! She is consciously involved in the emotional and psychological development of her child, and she is aware of and able to verbalize both Zev’s and her own separation anxiety. Such a deeply involved parent is hard to come across these days. I can tell you with confidence that this type of parent raises children who are emotionally competent and in tune with themselves and their surroundings.

Marissa, you are truly an inspiration to women and mothers everywhere!! Your honesty and humor in your blog shows character that is usually lost in celebrity; and motherhood for that matter! My professional advice on the Thanksgiving issue is to always, always be honest with your child. It is vital to establish mutual respect between parent and child, no matter how young, which includes always telling them the truth about where you are going/when you are leaving. Keep your explanation as simple and positive as possible – he will reflect your attitude about the situation!

Thank you, Marissa!

Lilianne
on November 22nd, 2010

Reading Marissa’s comment about enjoying our families this Thanksgiving and screwing our diets got me to thinking about this particular holiday..so I have some questions for everyone! I know that each family is different and unique and we all have our own traditions and types of meals. So here goes….what sorts of traditions do you follow for YOUR Thanksgiving holiday..do you have some thing or things you do every year? And what does your holiday table look like…tell one thing your kids might be upset not to find on the table to eat that day? Your husband? If you don’t do the cooking(or even if you do) what is one thing YOU would miss? I will answer myself.

1. The only tradition we follow(besides our little family meal which just consists of us, our girls, and my mother)is that we spend the evening watching movies and playing games.

2. The one thing my girls would absolutely cry over not eating that day is my homemade noodles. My husband would miss the broccoli salad(Paula Deen’s recipe!) and I would miss the pumpkin pie!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your day be filled with love, laughter, and everything that makes you most happy!!

Lilianne
on November 22nd, 2010

Correction: Let’s make that your significant other rather than husband! Because all families are unique and that husband could be a wife instead. :)

blessedwithboys
on November 22nd, 2010

A baby this age needs to be with his mother daily. Plane rides, time zone changes, hectic schedules and all. Forming attachment is your most important job as a mother in these early years, and you can’t do that from 3k miles away. Take your baby with you and then you won’t have to worry about how to explain the abandonment to him.

NoAdditives
on November 23rd, 2010

I would tell Zev where you’re going and why. Kids definitely understand more than we usually give them credit for. And that way he can be excited when he sees you on tv!

Regarding helmets: I found one for my daughter at Target that we bought when she was 18 months old. It’s fully adjustable so it will last a while. I think it’s made by Bell.