Clark Griswold: Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?

Clark Griswold: There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.

Rusty Griswold: The Bank of America.

[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]

Clark Griswold: What are we looking for?

Audrey Griswold: Sechs (pronounced sex) Dad.

Clark Griswold: That'll do Audrey.

Rusty Griswold: Dad that's German for six.

Clark Griswold: Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.

German Neighbor: Schweinhund!

[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]

Clark Griswold: Get in.

Rusty Griswold: What Happened?

Audrey Griswold: Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.

Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?

Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.

Bike Rider: It's just a flesh wound, honestly!

[Audrey arrives at the breakfast table]

Ellen: Hi Audrey, would you like something to eat?

Audrey: I'm not hungry. [shows that he received a letter from Jack and starts reading]

Jack: (voiceover) "Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. But luckly, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up."

Audrey: THAT BITCH!

Ellen: Is something wrong dear?

Audrey: No, I'm fine.

Jack: (voiceover) "I think it's time to ask ourselves this question. Do you think this relationship is strong enough that we consider meeting other people? I think it is."

Audrey: (heartbroken) Would you pass the croissants please? And the butters and jams?

Clark: Well it's nice to see you getting your appetite back.

Audrey: Yeah, well who have I got to be thin for?

Audrey: (calling Debbie on the phone in Rome) Hello Debbie? Audrey! Listen you and I have a big score to settle and you know exactly what I mean! So if you want to save this last shred of friendship between you and me, you'll do me this favor! I want you to book me on a Pan-Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today!...Yeah, I'll hold!.............Bitch!