Key Matchups: Bears vs. Vikings

If the Viking ship is sinking, Chester Taylor is a survivor. He jumped overboard before the boat slammed into its offseason iceberg. If the Vikings are the Titanic, Chester is Rose.

This Sunday, Rose returns to the Titanic to show that boat who's boss.

The Other Team's Girls

[Cue action montage of Gloria Stewart strapping on that diamond necklace, a dozen grenades and a bandolier of ammunition.]

You can't really blame the Vikes for dropping Taylor. He's burned plenty of tread off his tires. With Adrian Peterson and young Toby Gerhart in the backfield, Taylor's time had come. But you can imagine how happy Taylor is to be standing at 5-3, looking back at his old, dysfunctional team, knowing he could sink them for good. Given the reports of locker room tension, the Randy Moss debacle and the poor product on the field, Childress could be one good spanking away from joining Wade Phillips in the coaching corpse fraternity.

PHOTOS: The '85 Bears Relive the Glory Days

Sounds like the Vikings miss Taylor, too. I bet everyone looks better off as your lungs fill with water and your limbs grow numb. (For the record, Favre is expected to play Sunday, despite water in his lungs and numb limbs. Ironman!)

Only three teams have fewer sacks than the Vikings this year. Can you imagine how good Jay Cutler could look if he's able to stand upright? The Vikings are mentally checked out. They may be rearranging the deck chairs, but the season's verdict is sealed.

Coach Childress is on the verge of going down with the ship. But with the Bears, Chester Taylor's heart will go on.

For maximum impact, re-read this blog while the music video below plays in the background.