Women’s Guide: What Men Find Attractive Is Not What You Think

Whenever we think about what men find attractive, the first thing that pops into mind is the image of a perfect supermodel (or adult film star – let’s be serious). And though a woman’s physicality plays an important role in attracting a man, believe it or not, it isn’t everything.

Actually, it is much less important than you think. There is no doubt that being attractive can work to your advantage in finding a male companion, but research has recently uncovered many more factors that men consider when choosing their mate.

1. Positive outlook

Men want to be around positive women, really who doesn’t want to be around someone who is positive? If you are someone who is constantly complaining, miserable, and negative all the time, chances are, you are going to have trouble finding and or keeping a companion. No matter how attractive you might be, your attitude is going to send him packing!

2. Happy

Happiness is more than just a cute quotation that you have written on a post-it note on your wall; it is way to live your life. If you are a happy person, lighthearted, joyful and love to share happiness with others, you have a much higher likelihood of attracting a partner. People want to be with happy people because it makes them feel good! Happy people are naturally more adventurous, spontaneous and fun!

3. Fun and playful

There is something to be said about being fun and playful. Though many would want you to believe that growing up means abandoning your childhood fun and giggles, it might just be the thing that attracts you a partner. And don’t confuse immaturity and childishness for fun either… Playfulness is an ability to enjoy the moment, to enjoy yourself, and to engage in activities that stimulate joy and happiness in the brain.

4. Sexy

Sexy doesn’t mean slutty. In fact, it can often work to your disadvantage to appear too promiscuous. Sure, if you are trying to land a one night stand with a guy with questionable intentions, you are on the right track. But if you are looking for something a little more wholesome and long-term, you might want to tone it down a notch. There is nothing wrong with being attractive and being sexy, just make sure that you don’t come off as being desperate, slutty, or easy.

5. Kind and thoughtful

Men want to be with someone who they know is kind and thoughtful, and why wouldn’t they? They want to know that their partner will be good to them, nurturing, loving and all around a nice person. Who wants to bring someone home to meet the family when their partner is a mean self-absorbed selfish jerk?

6. You have hobbies and interests

Enjoy what you love and be proud of it. No matter how geeky or silly you think it is, take part in your hobbies. A guy wants to be with someone who has hobbies and unique interests. Maybe you love to run, paint, scrapbook, whatever. It really doesn’t matter so long as you enjoy it and it brings you happiness.

7. Appreciates the smaller things in life

There is something to be said about a heartfelt thank you. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and the best way to do this is to be grateful. If a guy does something for you, like makes you dinner – then say thank you… and mean it! Even if he burned half of the meatloaf into a solid brick, be thankful for the time, effort, and thoughtfulness that went into it. The more grateful you are, the more he is going to want to do nice things for you.

8. Good sense of humor

Don’t be so serious all the time! Some people have super high stress jobs in which everyone walks around serious all the time. You have to learn to differentiate when it is work and when it is play and be able to laugh. To let go, to unwind, and just giggle yourself silly. People want to spend time with others who are fun, who are playful, and who can laugh!

9. Affectionate

If you’re like millions of other girls who try to act cold in an attempt to land a guy… it isn’t going to work. Sure on TV or film it could play out but really, this is all nonsense. If you are in a loving relationship, be affectionate, be loving. This doesn’t mean be a clingy needy person by any means, just don’t be afraid to show a little affection here and there. If you are trying to pretend that you don’t care and play too hard to get – he is going to lose interest very quickly.

10. Modesty

You don’t always need to be the centre of attention. Be sure that you aren’t carrying yourself around like a circus, demanding the attention and praise of everyone in the room. There is a balance between being confident and not flaunting it. Maybe you are successful, super attractive, have something amazing going for you (or a combination of these), don’t feel like you need to show it off to the world. Chances are, people will already know, so be humble and play it cool.

11. Being natural

Let’s face it, we can’t carry around an image enhancing program with us every day, or go out with a makeup stylist. You have to learn to be cool in your own skin if you want someone else to find you attractive. That means, you have to be okay without makeup, with your hair a mess, in your sweats. Learn to own your body, love it, and be confident that you’re worthy of being loved.

12. Educated

You don’t have to hold a PhD to be educated. Learn about things, have something interesting and intelligent to talk about. Don’t know where to start? Start reading the news, reading books, following blogs, or research things that you are interested in. Unless you want to come across as an airhead, then start learning about things so that you become more confident to join into conversations.

13. Confident

There is something to be said about confidence. When you are confident, something about you becomes more attractive. No matter what you do for a living – a cook, a retail clerk, an investment banker, whatever, it doesn’t matter! Be confident in what you do, in who you are, and what you want out of life.