EVENTS

Open Letter To Rahm Emanuel

Dear Chief of Staff Emanuel:

I hereby urge you to appoint Maureen Dowd as ambassador to some shitty irrelevant little country that has to do whatever the fuck the United States wants it to. Her outstanding qualifications are demonstrated by the following excerpt from her most recent column for the New York Times:

How could the White House be classy when the Clintons were turning it into Motel 1600 for fund-raising, when Bill Clinton was using it for trysts with an intern and when he plunked a seven-seat hot tub with two Moto-Massager jets on the lawn?

How could the White House be inspiring when W. and Cheney were inside making torture and domestic spying legal, fooling Americans by cooking up warped evidence for war and scheming how to further enrich their buddies in the oil and gas industry?

As you can see, Ms. Dowd has an exquisitely finely tuned sense of ethical discernment, considering morally equivalent political fund-raising, adultery, and hot-tubbing–on the one hand–with torture, domestic spying, waging war on false pretenses, and destroying the entire economy–on the other. She would do a fine job representing the United States’ interests as ambassador to some shitty irrelevant country.

Very truly yours,

Comrade PhysioProf

P.S. Just between you and me, Rahm, we need to get rid of this motherfucking blight. Sending her off as ambassador to some shitty little country would be a gift to the citizens of the United States.

The most amazing bit is that I thought (and this will tell you how dumbfuck my thought process is) that maybe, just maybe, after America had done and gone elected a black guy for president for the first time in Ever, and by sweeping margins to boot, that she could write an entire column without mentioning the Clintons. Nope! It’s like they pay her by the mention. (Which isn’t outside the realm of possib…)

I vote for sending her to one of those shithole tropical or semi-tropical countries where malaria, cholera, and polio are endemic, mysterious hemorrhagic fevers keep popping up, and even in the country’s capitol city having stuff like electricity and clean drinking water on a predictable basis is a crap shoot.

I’m a bit disappointed with CPP and his chorus. You all sound like a Republican megaphone during the presidential campaign, which called upon those of us who didn’t like the Bush & Cheney America to leave the country.

Surely, there is no comparison between the Bush’s White House deeds and Clinton’s. Nevertheless, both presidents brought shame to 1600 Pennsylvania.

Like her or hate her, I will take Maureen Dowd over Judith Miller every day of the week.