Frank Zappa once said, “without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”

And then Victor Kiam added a humorous spin, “Even if you fall on your face you’re still moving forward.

My original thoughts about this episode were to encourage forward momentum. Make sure that you are working on something.

But then I started reading up on the well known proverb, “a rolling stone gathers no moss.”

I had assumed that the origin of this proverb was all positive – keep going. Don’t be stagnant. However, the original meaning had a negative connotation; if you keep moving you don’t lay down roots anywhere. You aren’t attached. You won’t be as prosperous.

It got me thinking.

As I thought more I realized that some of my clients suffer from not enough motion while others from too much.

Constant motion brings chaos and chaos creates drama.

Without intentional and targeted action you can have turmoil and be busy but not successful.

So my new insight for the episode is that, as with all things it’s finding the happy balance. You want momentum in moderation.

I’ve had a magnet stuck to the front of my fridge for years that encourages a goal for raising kids, “first you give them roots and then wings.”

I think that’s what we need to do for ourselves too. Create your foundation. Find those things that will be constant; a location, vocation, some friendships, a business, core values, rules of engagement for your life, a general focus or target to work towards. Let one or all of these be your roots. But be sure to sprout some wings. Where do you need to transform? Where is there opportunity to soar, where do you need to learn new strategies or transition your way of thinking or being?

Where do you need to create a goal and stick to it? Where must you invest some time, energy or resources?

The answer to these questions should be aligned with the roots you’ve grown unless it’s time for a complete overhaul of life. And that’s beyond the scope of these insights.

They say you can’t learn to ride a back by sitting in a seminar. And that’s true! So if you’ve been learning some new things aligned with your roots make a commitment to implement!

Create that goal and begin to roll!

Spend even 15 minutes per day learning something new and 15 minutes per day implementing. Let’s see where those wings can take you!

I recently had a little snafu with my schedule and showed up for my son’s Dr. appointment 30 minutes late. Bummer! The earlier time would have been much nicer, actually.

How did it happen? It was a combination of things.

First, I somehow added the appointment incorrectly in my calendar. I was actually about 10 minutes early for the time I had documented.

Second, the Doctor’s automated appointment reminder system malfunctioned. My phone showed a missed call from the office but there was no message. That message would have brought the error to light in time to make an adjustment in our arrival time. All would have been well.

Okay, so I own my error but did the Office Manager own their error? No.

As a matter of fact, she was a bit ticked at me when we arrived.

Now, I get it. It’s always frustrating when a client, customer or patient is late or misses an appointment altogether. It can throw off your day.

However…….do I think I deserved the greeting I received? No!

And not for the reason you think…….even if they hadn’t also made an error, I believe we still should have arrived to a friendly greeting.

Here’s why.

We’ve been going to that office for years! Lately we’ve been there every 4 to 6 weeks. They know us. And we know them.

We have NEVER missed an appointment and have never been late. In fact, we are almost always 10 or 15 minutes early. It’s a small office so they know this.

We should have a little trust bucket filled to the brim with them. They know that we are respectful of their time and honor our commitments with them.

Think about your personal relationships. Over time, don’t you get to know people? There’s the friend you know you can count on in a pinch, there’s the one you know shows up late no matter what but who has so many other redeeming qualities you love them anyway. How about the friend who will listen to your problems and offer sound advice?

Isn’t each relationship unique? Don’t you love a relationship where you are known? Where there is a positive history that offers you the chance to receive the benefit of the doubt when make a small mistake?

Food for thought for the day. Are there interactions in your business where you are forgetting to treat your customers individually?

Get to know your customers. If you have a client who is always on time who suddenly arrives a bit late show concern not disdain. They have a history of respecting your time. Something has probably gone awry.

Acknowledge that customer who comes in every day around the same time to pick up a sandwich or a newspaper. They should be filling up a loyalty bucket with you.

I used to bank with a company that never acknowledged me as a known customer. A colleague who was also a business owner used to laugh about it with me. Between she and her office manager they were in there at least 3 times a week and yet the tellers never knew their names or greeted them any differently than they would a complete stranger. It wasn’t a very busy branch. No one was looking for preferential treatment. We just wondered what it would take to be treated as a repeat customer? How could we establish a warm teller/customer relationship? What could we do to feel known?

The answer for both of us in this instance was to switch banks. And we did.

If you’ve watched the Today Show over the past 10 years or more you have probably seen Linny. He gained notoriety simply by standing in the crowd outside the studio. They called him the Today Show Super fan. Over time he became known by Today Show staff members and viewers. All he did was show up on time everyday and smile. They began to talk to him during outdoor segments. He was really just a Today Show fan but generated a relationship through his loyalty. They treated him in a special way as a result. When he passed away in 2013 it was a big deal. There was a relationship, he was known.

Let the experiences you have with your customers generate a relationship based on that history. Have they been a good, loyal customer or a high maintenance one? Get to know a bit about them. At a minimum notice and acknowledge their patterns, tell them it’s nice to see them again or thank you for coming in again.

Acknowledge and appreciate those who respect your business and remain loyal over time. Loyalty means longevity! You want your business to succeed.

I am being interviewed on the 6th of January for a Director position that will oversee a team that has been full of drama for the past year and a half. I have been informed that some on the team believe I am the reason for the previous directors dismissal, and that if I am to take the position, they won't work for me.

When asked in the interview, "How will you handle or deal with the current "drama" "unstructured" situation in the area?, what is the best way for me to answer?

In theory working with friends seems like it would be great. And, at times it does work out well. However, over and over I find my clients struggling with the negative impact of work friendships.

We spend a lot of time at work so it’s bound to happen. We become friends with people at work. There are many ways you can end up supervising a friend:

You worked together, became friends and then you got promoted to their manager

You hired a friend thinking they would be great in your department or business

You blur the lines with direct reports and start spending time together outside of work. Friendships blossom and so does the drama.

The problem these friendships often breed drama. Here are some scenarios I’ve seen:

The line between friend and boss becomes blurred and you let them get away with too much.

Or, your employee begins to take advantage of the relationship, expecting preferential treatment and is angry with you for treating them as an employee at work.

You spend a lot of time at work rehashing the fun you had over the weekend and planning your next escapade. Other employees become frustrated with your lost productivity.

You do play favorites and plan to continue but are becoming annoyed with the jealous or frustrated displays of the rest of the team.

You overcompensate and tend to be harsher with your friend/employee, causing tension between the two of you.

Perhaps the two of get distracted talking, goofing around or playing practical jokes on each other at work.

You have a fight with your friend outside of work over a personal issue and have to work together the next day.

The rest of the team has the inaccurate perception that your friend gets preferential treatment despite your best effort.

How do I define drama? If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while you know that I define it as anything that shifts focus from where it should be; on providing great service. Friendships will happen at work and you can have friendships without generating drama but you have to have good boundaries and solid ground rules.

No preferential treatment

No extra harsh treatment

No goofing around or re-hashing the weekend’s shenanigans

Treat all employees with respect

Where it may appear that there is preferential treatment be prepared to share a bit more detail.

If the relationship causes too much drama and you are not able to work through the cause, one of you must move or go. I’m talking the extreme scenario here. I hope it’s not necessary but I’ve seen it happen. One of you is interested in keeping the professional relationship and friendship separate while the other is not. Drama ensues. All efforts to minimize the impact fail. The business must win. And if you are the one in the leadership role or are the business owner you don’t want to compromise your position. The threat of job loss must be present and real. If you’ve entered the work/friend zone you have to be willing to go to the mat for your business and hope that the friendship can survive.