I’ll thank you
to keep your profanity
to the bare minimum.
Loathe as I am
to present ultimata,
I’m afraid,
if I hear you repeating that sort of speech on a future occasion, I may be forced
to act in untoward ways.

I may vivisect
or defenestrate
or decapitate any
that I hear speaking
in such an inappropriate manner.

Violence may not be my only response, of course.
If placed in an undesired position,
I might well return the favor,
by defiling family members,
whether older or younger.
Yes, neither progenitors nor progeny
would be safe from my carnal whims
should you choose to affront me,
in terms of language.

I could let loose an assortment
of bodily functions
that you’d prefer not to consider.
Be it gaseous, solid, or liquid,
whatever excretion may occur,
may indeed occur upon you,
if you don’t watch your mouth.

This warning,
though severe,
is genuine.
I’d appreciate it
if you keep a civil tongue
lest we both suffer the inconvenience
of the consequences.