How to distinguish wrestlers

I was channelhopping tonight and came across Bushido – Way of the Warrior. Thinking it might be a documentary about Samurai, I turned it on and found a live match taking place in Tokyo. This was ‘real’ in that it was a genuine contest, not showmanship like American wrestling (which can be quite fun). These two contestants pummelled each other with kicks, slaps, throws and forearm smashes until one secured a submission. But the real revelation was the commentators. Like American wrestling there were two keeping up a constant dialogue. But while WWE and TNA commentators could get prizes for inanity it’s at least scripted inanity. This was ‘real’ conversation and all the worse for it. Now if I tell you the fighters’ names were JT Southern and Kakihara, you might think the referee would have no trouble telling them apart, but these guys were concerned for him:

Well, I see Kakihara’s wearing white wrist bands, that’s quite unusual. Do you think that might confuse the referee in some of the holds?

I think he’ll be able to tell them apart. Southern’s fighting out of the blue corner and Kakihara out of the red corner.

And Southern’s wearing those long boots…

And then there’s the hair difference, one black haired one blonde.

Uh, yeah, and of course the size difference there’s that. That should help.

And, uh, basically there’s only one Japanese in the match so I think it’ll be OK, clear enough …

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About me

I’m Norman Lamont, a singer-songwriter who came of age in the early 70s. I was inspired by the singer-songwriters and bands of that period, especially on the UK labels like Island. If you like any of the artists I’ve written about, you might like my albums too.