-- Being a romantic, and a chess player, I don't think of Lisa Lopes as Andre Rison's ex-girlfriend. I think of her as a bad checkmate.

-- So, Comiskey Park is getting a facelift? How much is it going to cost St. Petersburg taxpayers this time?

-- Wayne Huizenga wants $1-billion for the Dolphins? See. I knew he was Dr. Evil.

-- Thumbing through my Berlitz guide, I see that "barbie" is Australian for barbecue, that "Sheila" is Australian for woman and that "Jai Taurima" is Australian for John Rocker.

-- Not to say Ken Griffey is gloomy lately, but I understand he walked into a bar the other night, and they asked him to leave so they could have happy hour.

-- Things to remember to bring to Sydney: Pads, pens and gymnast Blaine Wilson who, like the platypus, appears to be something of an odd sort of duck.

-- Just wondering: Wouldn't it have been a more interesting show if they had left a couple of people on the island? Bill Romanowski comes to mind.

-- What? They canceled the Virginia Tech game because of horrible lightning? Hey, if we did that in Tampa Bay, we'd never see a hockey game.

-- Ah, Monday Night Golf. Finally, a place for Dennis Miller to drop the word "putts" into his conversations and get away with it.

-- Did you see where Deion Sanders thinks the position of "cornerback" should now be referred to as "Deion?" As in" "Hey, what position did that brittle egomaniac used to play? You know, the guy who never made a tackle." "Oh,he's playing "Deion."

And the position of a high-priced wide receiver on cruise control would be "Alvin."

-- Things to remember to bring to Sydney: Passport, traveler's check, and that invitation to Olivia Newton-John's pool party.

-- No, not really.

-- Finally, how about a fan contest for the last game of the year: Rays Fans! Win a Chance to Throw at Brian Daubach!"