This board is a composition workshop, like a writers' workshop: post your work with questions about style or vocabulary, comment on other people's work, post composition challenges on some topic or form, or just dazzle us with your inventive use of galliambics.

Very nice Will, even despite the (poetic) liberty taken as to the dreams that might have been.

I've drafted a latin version, also using the same meter. the third verse uses the meter of Mr Cho Dim for variety.

There are a number of weaknesses, but the most glaring is scilicet the line 'noli huc reliquere me etiam alucinantem ita adhinc'. To be perfectly honest, 'ita adhinc' is mere filler, putty, but well... it's the best i could come up with!

i'm not too sure about ending a line with a single syllable word either, and of course 'novus' doesn't really end with a long syllable. i've still used it as such because it's at the end of the line. I note you did the same.

Kasper wrote:Very nice Will, even despite the (poetic) liberty taken as to the dreams that might have been.

It's not clear to me that the ancient Greeks had the same psychology of dreams that motivated that lyric. Also, it would have blown my neat 4-line glyconics.

I've drafted a latin version, also using the same meter.

What's Latin for "yay!"?

i'm not too sure about ending a line with a single syllable word either,

Horace will be the poet to check for that, though I suppose Catullus uses his fair share of aeolic meters, too.

and of course 'novus' doesn't really end with a long syllable. i've still used it as such because it's at the end of the line. I note you did the same.

If the lines were to be taken in synaphaea I would have indented differently. I used the glyconics by the line, so the final syllable of the line is indifferent. I'm pretty sure that applies to both Greek and Latin verse.

So. A small Latin lesson for Wm...

nunc narra mihi, finiasetiam me noce, finias

My dictionaries make me suspicious about the acc. here with noceo. Dat. might be better.

And the entire etiam... line leaves me in doubt about my Latin scanning abilities. Isn't it nocÄ“?