Heavy crime in the naked city

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This is what happened to John Knight's car after a naked woman stomped on it. Photo courtesy of John Knight.

John Knight woke up Wednesday morning thinking he would finally take his car in to get fixed. He went to sleep that night with his car in worse condition than before and an image in his head that he’ll probably never forget.

The 25-year-old said he was driving his dark blue Volvo station wagon down Church Street through San Francisco’s Noe Valley neighborhood at about 10:30 a.m. when he came across a strange scene.

At the intersection of 24th Street, a heavyset woman stood wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by medical personnel. A J-Church train was stopped, with passengers crowding and trying to see what was happening.

Suddenly, the woman whipped the blanket off and threw it at the medics, revealing that the only item of clothing she had on was a pair of closed-toe shoes, Knight said. And then she turned around and noticed Knight, still stopped and now shocked behind the wheel, about 50 feet away.

“She walks directly to me,” he said. “She walks up the hood of my car. And she begins stomping on my windshield, completely naked.”

The woman, who Knight estimated to weigh about 250 pounds, cracked his windshield with the first stomp. She got a couple more in before plainclothes officers pulled her off and handcuffed her as she screamed and wailed, Knight said.

Officers responded at about 9:38 a.m. to reports of a woman at 24th and Church, yelling, screaming and taking her clothes off, said Sgt. Michael Andraychak, police spokesman. Officers later found out that the woman had previously been on the J-Church train, already naked and causing a ruckus.

After officers pulled her off of Knight’s windshield, she was transported to a hospital for evaluation. Andraychak said there was no indication that she was arrested and that he cannot identify her.

Knight said he had his windshield replaced Thursday morning for about $300. He said police followed him back to his Noe Valley home and took a report from him, but he does not plan on filing charges against the woman.

Instead of getting his transmission fixed as planned, Knight said he spent Wednesday morning on the phone with his insurance provider.

“I told them my windshield was smashed and they asked if it was on the side of a street or in a parking lot,” he said. “I told them, ‘No, a naked woman just got on my hood and stomped on it.’ They didn’t really know what to make of it.”