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Me: *Applies for entry level full-stack job*

Recruiter: "Sorry, I can't hire you because you don't have the years of experience we're looking for. We can take you on as an intern! Unpaid of course, while we train you."🙂

Clueless Me: "Sure, why not."

*second day into the internship*

Boss: "I have this really big project, and I want you to be the lead. I'm going to be very vague about what I want, so you'll constantly have to make changes to user stories, wireframes, & database designs until I'm satisfied. Don't ask me any questions for clarity, because I'm busy 🙂"

Silly Me: "okay"

Boss: "Also, can you train all the other interns? You're so lucky! You'll get to pick the best to join your team" 🙂

Stupid Me: "okay"

Boss: *emails me a spreadsheet of 80 Front-End interns (freshmen and sophomores)*
"Did you start building the app yet?" 🙂

Me (Dummy): "You haven't approved the final wireframes ye-"

Boss: "And for the other interns' training, what did you have in mind?" 🙂

Me (Dumbass): "I made a training guide, they're already followi-"

Boss: "My project manager for this other project left, guess he couldn't handle the pressure of a real job... HAHAHAHA! You're gonna take the lead of that project, too!"
*Adds me to the slack group* 😁

Me (Imbecile): "Wha-"

Boss: "And we've been having trouble with keeping track of everyone's code. Is there something we can do instead of slacking code snippets back and forth?" 🤔😮

Me (Fucking Imbecile): "Wait, you guys are working on a project and you don't have any form of version control? Maybe we should take a few steps back and plan thi-"

Boss: "Are you gonna take initiative or not!?" 😡

Me (Enlightened): "I quit." 😑

Former Boss: "Too bad... I was going to offer you a paid role tomorrow morning. Oh well!" 😔

He wasn't going to offer you a paid role ever. You did the right thing by leaving.

Also, never take an unpaid internship role off the back of a job interview for a paid role. If you really want one of those (I wouldn't advise that unless there's really no other option tbh) then look around specifically for internships.

@AlmondSauce@Elyz I really wanted to fix that. Especially since that’s the only time I’ve ever seen anything so crazy. Four devs slacking code snippets back and forth, trying to see if their local repos match is insane.

My favourite part of this was the “entry level job requiring X years of experience”. Thats not what entry level means you idiots. Sounds like they were conning you right from the job application stage.

This sounds like the first mechanic job I took coming out of the army. I had swapped mos's from mechanic to infantry 3 years in and was questioning my knowledge so I agreed to 10 an hour thinking I was mostly going to be servicing and changing general parts out. Three weeks in fuckers brought me an engine to rebuild. Went by the book, had it going a week later, do I get raise? Well fuck no. I stayed there for a year and finally said something. "Well we just can't afford to pay you anymore." Your charging 70 fucking dollars an hour for my work, what do you mean you can't pay me more? Immediately walked out and got a job for 15 an hour a week later.

@stillwater Ha! Perhaps... But the big problem wasn’t lack of version control, it was absence of payment** I worked for free because I didn’t have experience. If I didn’t have the experience, then I shouldn’t have been put in charge of these two teams. If I’m gonna work like a dog, pay me. Sounds good?

I hate these kinda bosses. They tend to be a most efficient CEO or whatever with the slogan "make something out of nothing". But its clearly a slavery and a crime. Fuck their way of proving themselves great saying "I was thinking of these and that for you ....." when someone decides to leave and I bet you it is just a lie. These peoples are mafias.

@mrUnfused Even worse when they're not the CEO. Ever meet a middle manager on a power trip? That second job I went to had a shop manager that had been hired because he had run his own body shop for x amount of years. Fucker was consistently ordering parts for tickets based on what had fixed a prior machine before we, the mechanics, even had a chance to look the ticket over. But guess who got blamed when the wrong parts were ordered? Shit you not, the man chewed me out one day because I couldn't find the tractor on the ticket, walked me out to the lot and pointed to it (same model, different trani and serial). I brought it in, fixed the hydraulics with what our part guy handed me, then turned the ticket in. Manager calls the customer, customer answers very bluntly, well did you send them out here because its still sitting in my barn. Motherfucker had ordered the parts before the tractor had even showed up and then forgot about it. Ironically the tractor he had me fix was there

for a different problem, but was starting to develop the other problem as well, it just hadn't gotten bad enough for the owner to want to spend the money on that issue yet. Not sure how that ever turned out, I walked out of that job a week later, filed a dba and started doing my own repairs on location for 45 an hour.