I will exAlt u, mah Ceiling Cat teh PwnEvry dai I will IM u , An fwd u fr evr An evrGreat iz teh CEILING CAT an most worthy of kibble; his pwn nowun can hazOne base will fwd ur email to anoner; dey will macro of ur pwnThey will post of teh phishee pwn of teh Ceiling Cat, An I will downld ur pr0nzThey will post of teh pwn of ur awzom pr0nz, An I will post of ur winzThey will partaay ur lots of joy n joyness, An joyly macro of ur pwnTeh Cieling Cat iz grayshus An compa - compa - neet; slow to report an rich in Friend ListTeh Cieling Cat iz cool to evryon; he can haz neet on all he haz not eatedAll u haz not eated will macro u, O Ceiling Cat; ur Friends will fwd uThey will post of teh winz of ur base, An email of ur pwnso all minz can haz be on ur Friends List, An hang at ur baseYour base is not b bedlong'd by anyone else, An ur chrysanthemum livz thru all madeds. Teh Ceiling Cat iz fayfthul to all hiz threadz, An lovin to all he haz not eatedTeh Ceiling Cat b catchin all those who haz no toastback, An liftzes those who haz teh bluzTeh eyez of minz look to u, An u giv them der kibblez at noonTeh Ceiling Cat iz admin in all hiz forumz, An neet towardz all he haz not eatedTeh Ceiling Cat iz near to all who IM him, An all who email him in troothHe fulfeelz teh desires (not in that wai, perv) of dose who feerz him; he seez der IMz An unbanz demTeh Ceiling Cat b watchin' all dose who masturbate, but all teh meanies he will eatedMy postz will chatspk in teh prayz of teh Ceiling Cat; Let evry spambot prayz hiz holy name; for evr an evr or until teh connection diez.

16 But wat liek ai shuld comparz dis genration? Dey are all liek kittehs in liek teh feed buy place. Srsly17 We liek gived yu teh awesome music from teh flutz (Srsly) but liek yu not danced srlsy; we sang a sad sung and liek yu not run out of happy.18 Fur liek John no liek come eatin or liek no drinkin, them liek sez "Him are a cat wif no fur" Srsly19 The guy kitteh caem drinkin liek milk and liek eatin cheezburgerz, and them sez "Lookey here, fatcat and him liek a drink milk to much, a budy of teh cheezburgerz taker, and invisible error doer" But teh smartness is showed by she acxion. Srsly

No more happy for teh no admit cities20 Then Jebus begin to liek say cities were him do miriclez cuz liek dey no admit der invisible errors. Srsly21 "No happy to yu Korazin! No happy to yu Bethesda! If the mirclez had be did in liek Tyre and Sidon, they'd aks furgivins many time ago srsly in food sacks and ashs'. srsly22 But ai sez to yu, it bez much liek easierz for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judes. srsly.23 And yu Capernum will be moved to teh skies? Yu will go down to teh depfs.Srsly. If teh mirclz that wer purformz n yu were been purformz in sodom, it still be here till this day. Srlsy.24 But ai sez yu dat are be more easier to be endurded for Sodom on teh day of juges dan fur yu. Srsly.

Sleep for teh Tiredz25 At the time Jebus saz, "Ai praized yu, Father lords of teh Ceiling and Urf, cuz yu have hidded dese things from teh wize and learnered, and showed dem to teh kittehs.26 Yes Dad, this was gewd timez.27 "All things has be done to me by mah fasha. Nobody knows teh Son except teh Fasha, and nobody knows teh Father cept teh Son and dose who teh Son shows he.28 "Comed to me, all yu who is tiredz and hurted, and ai shall gived yu sleepz.29 Taked mai good onto you and learnz from me, for Iz gentle and calmed in teh heart, Srsly and you will find sleepz for yur solez.30 For mai good are easy and mai hard times are light. Srsly"