So, I wrote about this before, but I had another thought about it last night. I was working on a floorset with about 10 other people all of whom are seven to three years younger than me. The three years doesn’t sound like that big of a difference, but when your priorities don’t match up, and you realize that neither do your ideas of a good time do either, it’s a big difference. We took a break for “lunch” at 3 AM and I rode to McDonald’s with two other girls. One of them had just graduated high school, was in her freshman year of college and part of a sorority. She’s super sweet, but the things she said made me laugh a little. After listening to her and the other girl carry on a conversation about things I had absolutely no interest in or could relate to other than “I remember when I did that…6 years ago”, I realized how much of a difference there is between 25 and 19. The two of them were talking about boys. Since I couldn’t involve myself in the conversation and realized I had no interest anymore in the exploits of the single life, I simply observed their conversation with a slight amazement. Don’t laugh, I know I’ve only been married a year, but I realized that after you take a big step like that you start looking at things differently. Things you see single people do that you think “Did I act like that?” It’s a mating ritual that is just as fascinating to watch as the mating ritual of two monkeys. The courtship, the hope, the overreacting, the feeling of endless love. So anyway, I observed. The girl driving, sorority girl, said “He’s just this guy that I’m kind of maybe talking to but I don’t know if we are” Now, she didn’t say “I don’t know if we’re dating” she said she didn’t know if they were talking or not.

For the rest of the car ride all it was all I could do not to ask “So how do you not know if you’re talking to someone?” just to be a smart ass, but I realized I used to use the same wording. So, I held my comments in.

This whole situation led me to wonder when my wording changed from “I’m sort of talking to this one guy, but I don’t know” to “There’s this guy that I’m interested in” to “I may actually want to settle down” and it happened somewhere between 19 and 23 I think. At age 23 was I realized I couldn’t do certain things anymore, not because of my age really (maybe partly but not totally), but more because that wasn’t who I was anymore. For instance, my 23rd birthday, we went to the bar, I had one too many shots, left before midnight and woke up with one hell of a hangover. That was the first time I uttered the words “I’m too old for this.” Maybe not out loud, but to myself. And while that might sound ridiculous, isn’t that about when it starts? When you start not being able to stay up too late and when you start realizing that hangovers occur far too easily. Two years earlier, I had the same extravaganza, woke up from the aftershock of my 21st birthday and was fine. At 23, you’re in that awkward stage between 21 and 25 wondering “What now?” It’s when you start realizing there actually is a difference between yourself and the person that just turned 21, the person that just graduated high school.

As people age, more and more they like to say “It’s the (whatever number) anniversary of my 21st birthday” I say, to hell with that. I’m going to celebrate my 23rd year as my forever birthday. Things were hopeful, I realized I was growing up, and while it seems like a bit of a drag to realize you can’t go out every single night and get shit hammered like you used to, your goals in life change. I know not every person is like that and I’m just making a general assumption. I know some 30-year-olds that are about as mature as a 20-year-old. Then again I know some 20-year-olds that are more mature than their peers.

Truth is I am still in that awkward stage. I want to hold onto my youth and tell myself I can still pull an all nighter and drink until 4 am. Every once in a while I surprise myself and do it without thinking. I’ve been watching a lot of “How I Met Your Mother” and the episode where Barney sets out to do everything on the Murtaugh list and Ted decides to do the opposite and act like an old man. We’re in the in between stage. We may not be able to do everything we could when we were 16, but we’re also no where near allowed to say “I’m too old for that shit.” Though I am guilty on multiple occasions of using that line, but with good reason I think.

Point is, people change. Life changes. And that’s a beautiful thing. Whatever juncture you’re at in your life, you should cherish it. One day you’ll be able to look back and say “remember when…” or defy age by saying “I’m not too old to do that!” Whatever the case may be, don’t live your life wishing you had done this or that or had not done this or that. Growing up sucks, but maybe it’s not that bad.

So, for today, I’m 23. Maybe I’ll be 23 next year too. Guess we’ll see

Okay so that might be SLIGHTLY exaggerated, but that doesn’t mean I’m not utterly pissed off right now. This is not a situation of “the customer is always right” because i don’t believe that, but this is a situation of “quit being a fucking asshole and listen to me”

P.S. Language warning: use discretion

So begins a little story of two mixed up packages. My mother-in-law sent us some Christmas gifts. When we opened the package, we realized we got the wrong box and the one we ended up with was originally meant for a family in California. Yesterday, we figured it out, and I was told to take the package intended for California to the FedEx office and get it straightened out. That the whole thing was paid for. That the manager should know.

Today I take said package to the FedEx office I assume it’s supposed to go and I’m met with a whole shitload of assery. To start it all off when I approached the counter, the woman behind the counter began speaking to me in a voice you would likely use to approach a child, all sweet, high-pitched, and annoying “Well hello there sweetie! What do you need today?” I laughed a little inside since I know I look young and proceeded to tell her there had been a mix up and that I was informed by my mother-in-law to bring the package here, speak to a manager, and the whole thing would be straightened out. BOOM! DRASTIC attitude change. Her voice filled with immediate sarcasm she says to me, “Um…and what is this ‘manager’s’ name you were supposed to speak to?” I said “I’m not entirely certain, I was just told that if I came in he would know what I was talking about and the whole thing would be taken care of.” She then rolls her eyes and disappears to the back. I heard bits and pieces of her conversation, mostly the parts where she called me a “little girl.” I felt a slight twinge of anger arise in the pit of my stomach and prayed it wouldn’t bubble its way to the surface. She then reemerged of the back and following behind her was a round man with mean looking eyes.

Disgust in his voice, he asked the woman who he was supposed to be speaking to. The woman replied with a simple, demeaning “ugh…that one” To myself I think “wow! really? REALLY!?” He walks over to me and says sternly “Ma’am you need to take a step over here and talk to me because I don’t know what exactly it is you think you’re trying to do.” With a forced smile on my face, I walk over to him and tell him the story of how our packages got screwed up, that my mother-in-law had taken care of it on her end and the package intended for my husband and I was being rerouted and sent back here. I told him how I was informed to take the package we had to them, and that it would be taken care of and sent on its way to California. “Listen girly (1) I’m not sure what you think you’re trying to get away with here, but I don’t know what in the world you’re talking about. No one called me about anything and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe you can get your mommy on the phone (2) and I can talk to her.” To which I force a laugh and say “Hm, okay, well first, my mother-in-law, and second, yeah, I’ll call her” He then makes another remark about me calling “mommy.” I get information from her about who to call and who to talk to. I explain to him that he’s calling a FedEx in Georgia because that’s where the packages were originally sent from, and he says “Hold up, sweetheart (3) you told me they were on their way to California. Remind me again why exactly I’m calling Georgia to take care of this? (4)” I say, “Yes, sir. I did tell you the package was on its way to California. I also told you that they were originally sent from Georgia and that…” *insert exaggerated sigh of exasperation* “Then why am I calling a store in Georgia if this needs to be sent to California” I laugh sarcastically and say “(5)well because they were originally sent from Georgia, something got screwed up, and we got the wrong package. My mother-in-law got it worked out there. She told me that everything was already taken care of, nothing needs to be paid for and that you would know. I’m giving you the number for the Georgia office so that you guys can straighten this out and we can get this taken care of. I am giving you all the information I can about this whole thing.”

Please keep in mind every time I speak, he just shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He continues to do so as he furiously punches the numbers in the phone and mutters shit to himself that I chose to ignore. I did however catch one comment “I don’t know what you’re trying to get away with” and something else about me wanting “free shipping.” His conversation with the store manager in Georgia went a little something like this:

“Yeah *insert sarcastic laugh* I have this little girl (6) here that says her mother (7) sent her here with a package that needed to be shipped and apparently WE’RE supposed to pay for it? Yeah, are you familiar with a woman by the name of _________? Oh you are? (8) Okay so what’s the big deal? Why am I dealing with this? (9) I mean there’s a FedEx around the corner I’d be more than happy to send her of there and have them sort this out, I mean we’re just a distribution center, I have other things to handle. (10) Yeah I guess I’ll take care of it here, whatever.”

He gets off the phone and his WHOLE attitude went from sarcastic dick-faced asshole to so sweet I’m going to rot your teeth out. (11) We get it taken care of, and I leave.

Wondering what all the numbers were about? Even if you weren’t I’m going to tell you anyway, they were in fact reference points to what’s below, aka things I was thinking the whole time.

(1) I don’t give a fuck how old you think I am, don’t call me girly. It’s demeaning and I hate it
(2) Um, excuse me, fuck you first of all and secondly fuck you. I am a 25 fucking year old woman. Don’t treat me like I’m some idiot kid trying to ship a package for free.
(3) Sweetheart? SWEETHEART!? SERIOUSLY!? Don’t call me sweetheart. Do you really think that by calling me “sweetheart” it’s going to magically reform the opinion I’ve already made of you in the past 5 minutes? Calling me sweetheart, also demeaning. You may as well have just called me a bitch…fuckface
(4) Uh, you’re taking care of this because a. it’s your job and b. because I’m in your store and you haven’t given me another option, save us all the trouble and tell me you can’t do anything about so I can get this taken care of from a higher level of management
(5) Don’t interrupt me! If you would listen to the words that are coming out of my damn mouth, you would know exactly what the fuck is going on and why you’re dealing with this situation right now. The reason you’re calling Georgia is because that’s where the package was sent from. WHY THE FUCK would you call a California store when the package that needs to be sent back to us is already being rerouted and the package that needs to go to California is right fucking in front of you!
(6) At that point, I perked up and shot him a look meanwhile I’m thinking “Little girl huh? LITTLE GIRL!!!!?????? What in bloody blue hell did you not understand about the words “mother-in-law” meaning I’M MARRIED. Meaning I’m over the age of 18. Meaning I’m not as young as you think. Meaning don’t treat me like a fucking imbecile.
(7) Cheese and rice on a fucking cracker! I didn’t call my “mommy” as you so eloquently put it. It’s not like I had to have someone drive me here and pick me up so that “mommy can go run other errands while her child does this one tiny little thing. maybe if you bat your eyes the nice man will let you ship it for free”
(8) HAHA! SCREW YOU! Told you I wasn’t lying.
(9) YOU’RE DEALING WITH THIS BECAUSE I’M HERE AND YOU HAVEN’T SENT ME ANYWHERE ELSE! BECAUSE YOU KNOW THIS ISN’T “BEYOND YOUR POWER”… So sorry I inconvenienced you by making you do your fucking job
(10) Then send me somewhere else! SERIOUSLY! I’m sorry I didn’t know there was 8 FedEx locations within a 10 mile radius.
(11) Are you really going to be sweet to me like I didn’t just hear your entire fucking phone conversation? You know, the one where you tried to make me out to be a liar looking for free shipping only to find out that I wasn’t? The one where you were completely degrading to me?

Here’s the thing, I understand that he needed to ask questions. I understand that he needed to call and figure this out. I don’t want to hear any “Oh but it’s customer service, you deal with stupid people and assholes all the time” Yep, and I work in the same customer service industry. Didn’t want to be at work AT ALL yesterday, but I put on a smile, helped people out, made at least one person’s day, meanwhile on the inside I was thinking “dear Jesus get me out of here.” Point is, Christmas is next week. We’re all stressed. It SUCKS working in customer service, but it’s not all the bad ALL THE TIME. I don’t give a shit if you’re sick of your job, you still put a smile on your face and suck it up like nothing is wrong. You don’t degrade your customer and tell them he/she is lying. You don’t tell a full-grown married woman that she’s a little girl looking for free shipping. Do your best to understand the situation and then handle it accordingly. Don’t jump to your stupid ass conclusions and realize you just made an ass of yourself…I now know a guy who knows a guy who is going to take care of this mess since she had to deal with the same situation in GA.

Just as good as calling corporate. Which does make me feel a little bit awful, but this was outright uncalled for and completely unprofessional. I wasn’t the only one that was uncomfortable in this situation. It’s like the whole mess with Best Buy that happened with me a few months back. I went back into the store, and as I approached an associate for help, another associate approached him and started yelling at him, not work related, but about a personal situation involving a break up because he cheated on her with another associate. You realize you’re making an ass out of yourself AND a mockery out of the company you work for right?

On that note, I can honestly say that I like my job and I love the people I work with.

On another note, I realized as I was standing there enduring one of the worst customer service situations I’ve ever been in, that the FedEx logo has an arrow in it…hm…neat