The top 11 sickest Montreal shows this week

I’m not even going to try and kid you kiddos this week as there is a new “bro” bar that appeared on the end of my block this week and is serving up the Labatts like it was going out of style, so I am running on fumes right now. In fact, I am so obliterated with the amber nectar as I tap this out that there is no fuggin’ way I can squeeze in some witticism, wisdom, realization or clever repartee. So fuggit, here are the straight goods.

Friday: Without a doubt, the big gig of the week is the post-punk urgency of Ought with Wreckage With Stick and Caro Diaro at Sala. If you aren’t grippn’ tix, better show up early to get into this one. 4848 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $12

On the heavier front, Turbo Haus hosts one of Canada’s heaviest bands, Indian Handcrafts, with other brothers of heavy Hounds and the Haus house band Fashion Police. 5011 Notre-Dame W., 10 p.m., $9/$13

Saturday: For full frontal punk mayhem, catch the danger punk of Omegas with Pox, Sexface and Torment Meuco at Katacombes. Warning: Don’t stand near the front of the stage or you might get hit with a chain. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $8

Check out one of the more bizarre bands in the city — Weeping Buffalo — when they set the stakes down at Barfly. Think Captain Beefheart playing Music From the Big Pink, but weirder. 4062 St-Laurent, 10:30 p.m., price unknown

For all deaf people who remember the early aughts, still own a crimping iron and are able to get a babysitter at a moment’s notice, you will want to point your scuffed Cuban heels to l’Astral to catch the shit-show that is the Dandy Warhols. 305 Ste-Catherine W., 8:30 p.m., $28/$30

Wednesday: For fans of floor-punching hardcore pits, you are cordially invited to don your basketball jersey for the Contortionist, Monuments Entheos and Sleepmakeswaves and Kreise at Foufs. 87 Ste-Catherine E., 6:30 p.m., $22.50/$25

Finally, all fans of music and culture are required to show up for Prince Rama (on the cover of Cult MTL this month), Doldrums and Technical Kidman at Casa. 4873 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $10/$13