Go away, fat man. We don’t want you here

MLB Trade Rumors (where you can catch me every Saturday morning from 10 ’til 2) has an interesting note this morning: David Wells wants to come back to the Yankees. What’s worse, there are indications — whatever the hell that means — that Hank Steinbrenner is interested as well. Despite the Yankees troubles with starting pitching to this point, I can only hope this is a rumor started by a rogue publication just to stir up the fan base.

But stirred we will not be! Why not? Because we know the Yankees are smarter than this. Wells threw 157.1 innings last year, all for NL West teams, and finished with a 5.43 ERA. He’s 45 years old. In other words, he’s cooked. There’s no way around it. In fact, I can give you a list of pitchers within our organization that I’d rather give a shot than David Wells (in no particular order):