Thursday, August 4, 2011

Homemade Survival Kit

The new school year is quickly approaching. Three more weeks before my life becomes extraordinarily more difficult. Because of this, I have been taking advantage of these last few hot, lazy days to do absolutely NOTHING. No outings, no projects, minimal cleaning, light laundry, and my kids are barely getting fed. Well, not so much this last one.

Yesterday morning, however, I felt a bit panicky thinking about some of the projects I wanted to get done before school starts. Like going through last years school stuff to make room for this years school stuff. Or going through the girls' toys, again, to purge the mess. Or washing the rest of the exterior windows.

So of course I decided to go through and replenish my survival kit!!!

???

Yep. School may be only three weeks away, the girls' room is constantly in a state of chaos, and Armageddon is highly remote, so restocking my survival kit seemed like the best use of my time.

I am a screwball.

I've had a survival kit since Jerry and I first got married. I'm not sure why. I'm not sure what I think could ever happen to warrant the use of this survival kit. In my over-active imagination fueled by highly improbably Hollywood movies, I have decided to have a kit and never need one instead of needing one and not having it.

My last survival kit was awful, limited, and in a shoebox. After researching what is in a good survival kit, I have repacked mine and would like to share my knowledge with you.

Maybe you're a screwball like me.

Here's a not-so-quick rundown of my survival kit line-up:

1. LED flashlights, extra batteries, and a hand crank flashlight. (It's a good thing I caught it, but I was about to pack AA batteries for my AAA flashlight.)

2. A real, honest-to-goodness slingshot. Yes, we already had one laying around. Again, I am a screwball. And so is my husband.

3. A baggie full of baggies. Baggies are great for catching rain, dew, storing water/food/clothes/anything.

6. Pens, pencils, and a notepad. Good for leaving notes behind you, keeping records, or tinder in an emergency. Note the red wax pens that will work on anything.

7. A towel, a whistle, paper clips and safety pins (good for many things), and clear tubing. If you've ever watched Bear Grylls survive, you'll know what the tubing is for.

8. A couple of knives, switch blades to be exact (I have no idea where or why I have switch blades in my house), a Leatherman tool (like a super-Swiss Army knife), and a battery powered weather radio (with batteries turned backwards).

9. A deck of cards and a military-issue New Testament. Nothing will drive you crazy faster than boredom. And lack of hope. Cards = Entertainment. Bible = Hope, Salvation, Comfort, Love.

10. Fish hooks and a few wormy bates thrown in for good measure.

11. A sewing kit including needles, pins, thread, and buttons. Also some upholstery thread which is thicker and stronger.

12. Thermo blankets made of flimsy, aluminum foil type material. As you can see there are only four. I guess I last stocked the survival kit before Phoebe was born. I better get another one or somebodies gonna have to go cold, and it ain't gonna be me!

13. Lighters, lighters, lighters, and more lighters. And some matches from the Isle of Capri Hotel and Casino in Bossier City, LA.

14. With those lighters I can ignite these burning thingies I can't remember what they're called. You light them and they stay lit, burning like kindling to help get a fire going.

15. The white cord is just cording, but the green stuff is 550 lb. test parachute cord. One length of that stuff can support, you guessed it, 550 lbs.

16. More baggies, a few aluminum foil pouches for cooking inside a fire, and a stack of coffee filters (for filtering water).

17. Food: Rice, beans, sugar, and salt. We may not starve for a few days but we sure will be tooting up a storm!

Some how I got all of that mess into one helmet bag. Well, almost everything. The pepper, toothpaste, and mystery cording had to go.

I'll have to get a bigger bag though, because I left out a few things that take up more space. I have these things ordered or I will be picking them up at Wal-Mart asap. After all, nothing bad is happening any minute now.

These additional items are:

1. A mirror for communication2. A compass.3. a tarp4. water purifying tabs5. small bottle of bleach6. magnifying glass for starting fires (as if I would need it with my 12732987 lighters).7. A US Army-issued surgical and suture kit. (Kinda scary, but better safe than sorry.)8. Duct tape. Good for securing and as bandages (that's why there are none in my medical kit).9. Super-glue. Useful for small, cleaned cuts and scrapes. Better than butterfly bandages. (Don't put antibiotic cream over top of super-glue. It will dissolve the adhesive.)

Well, that's about it. I'm almost good to go; safe from non-impending doom. When nothing at all happens, I will be well-prepared.

(I really don't get why I feel so driven to have a survival kit. After all, if Armageddon is coming, I don't plan on being here anyway. I'll be up in the clouds, raptured, and safe. Maybe somebody else can have my kit. =)