ONLY AN EXCUSE: Lenny enjoys sweet success in Champions League

IT HAS been quite a week for me, you're absolutely right there, although it started horrendously when Gary Hooper walked in with that ridiculous haircut.

I said to him right away: 'I hope you didn't use a bowl out of the canteen and if you did you better have washed it.'

I had every confidence in the team getting a result last Wednesday and was even confident when Kris Commons stepped up to take that penalty. Unfortunately though, I had lost my packet of sweeties down the back of my seat and was looking for them when he scored.

I thought it was brilliant the way he deliberately hit the bar first just to give us all a wee fright.

And as if qualification for the last 16 of the Champions League wasn't enough, then do we not go down to Kilmarnock to play the Ayrshire Gers in my 100th SPL game in charge and utterly gub them.

Before the match Efe Ambrose was telling us he had a celebration which he would demonstrate to us if he scored. To be honest, though, I think he should be working on another celebration, one for when he manages to complete a clearance without giving us all a heart attack.

ALLY McCOIST

CAN there honestly be a better way for a club to celebrate 140 years of glorious history than by grinding out a two-nil victory at home over the Third Division's bottom team? To tell you the truth it was truly awe-inspiring to see all those legends on the pitch again, especially John Greig, who somehow managed to go without kicking anyone.

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So much for looking back, what about looking forward? Honestly, on behalf of everyone at Ibrox I would like to welcome James Traynor to the Rangers family.

Actually, strike that, there's no need to welcome James to the Rangers family, anyone listening to him or reading his columns will probably think he'd already been a member for years.

Make no mistake, these are still troubled times for Rangers so James will be perfect in his role as Director of Communications.

Right now, Rangers need friends and possibly a few favours and I can think of no-one more friendly, diplomatic, likeable and popular than the man we have appointed.

KENNY DALGLISH

Has Kenny Dalglish heard the rumour that he is on the short list for the Scotland job? Aye, he hus.

When people say to Kenny Dalglish 'What would Kenny Dalglish bring to the Scotland job?' Kenny Dalglish immediately says back 'What, you mean apart from his infectious enthusiasm?'.

Well, Kenny Dalglish will tell you that if Kenny dalglish got the job the first thing he would do is put a smile back on the face of Scottish Football. And how would Kenny Dalglish do that? Kenny Dalglish has nae idea.

CRAIG BROWN

RYAN FRASER has turned down the terms that Aberdeen Football Club offered him.

Apparently, young Ryan wants to move on and be kicked off the park at a higher level.

CHICK YOUNG

HAWD on, hawd on. James Traynor has been appointed Rangers' Head of Communications and Media? I thought that was my job.

ALAN McINALLY

I'M telling you, bud, I really, really, really, really feel for mein great freund Gerd Mueller after having his goal-scoring record finally beaten by Lionel Messi – who is another good, good freund of mein self. So will this new record set by Lionel ever be broken? Probably not, but judging by the way he's scoring right now I wouldn't completely rule out Lee McCulloch.

CHARLIE NICHOLAS

DON'T be fooled by the name, Gayfield is not a happy place.

It's cold, it's wet and it's freezin'. And if Celtic are not up for it tonight they could be thermally challenged in the extremities.

Bananaskin-wise this is a potential waiting to extrapolate with embarrassment, one that is poised to strike like an elephant with a sore head. But if the Celtic play the way they can then against the Red Lichties there should be no red neckies. Prediction, 15-0 to the Bhoys.

SIR ELEX FERGUSON

PLEASED, very pleased and pwoud as well. The only down side to our incredible victory against Manchester City was big Wio being skelped on the napper with a coin.

I mean, it's a sad day when a player can't indulge in a bit of get-it-up-ye-ness in front of the opposition support. And then that fan running on to the pitch? Whit an eijit.

People are saying well done to Joe Hart for stopping the guy but I was shouting 'let him come, Joe, let him come' because I was for running on to the pitch and giving him the severe malky.

To be honest, after being 2-0 up I would have been livid and possibly quite angry as well if we hadn't won, but in the end we came back at them just when they probably thought they'd nicked a draw.

Our noisy neighbours? I'll tell you, they're not making much noise right now, by the way.

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JIM WHITE

AND even more great news for the Gers. James Arthur – a big Rangers man – won The X Factor so could that be the first honour the new club has won?

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