I’m usually ok with being dumped by guys in the very early stages of dating, it just happens, and although it feels terrible there’s no reason to overthink things when you’ve only known the person for a few weeks.

Yesterday I was dumped by a guy I had seen for three weeks, and it felt awful, and I can’t stop replaying everything in my head.

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, but I’m just so confused and would like some other opinions on what is up with this guy and if I’m over-reacting.

We met on a dating app and started going on dates with each other. They all went well, and we bonded over our shared interest of running and climbing.

A few dates in, we were chatting, and as it turned out, he was in a friends house just up the road from me and asked if I’d like him to come over. He stayed over, and we slept together, he even hung around the next day for breakfast and to chat for a while. He asked to meet up a few days later, so we went for a run together. He walked me to my house at the end and said he was too tired to come over but kissed me before saying goodbye, and made a point of saying that we should meet up some evening soon.

A couple of days later we went for dinner together, and it went well. He tried to pay (we halved it in the end), and kissed me afterward and said he had a great time. I expected him to ask me over to his house, as I hadn’t been over yet. However, he made a point of saying that he was exhausted and he had a doctor’s appointment early in the morning. I felt a bit put out, but after talking to a friend, I realized I was probably just over-thinking things.

He asked to meet up that weekend. However, I was heading to Portugal for the week with my family so said we could meet when I got back. Towards the end of the trip, I sent him a message just to say hey, and he took quite a while to respond and didn’t make any effort to engage in conversation. I tried not to be bothered by it, but when I checked his dating profile, I saw he’d put up a new photo, and changed his bio.

I started to feel pretty bad about the whole thing and began to assume he wasn’t that interested. After talking to a friend, I decided just to play it cool and not be too offended by it. We’d only known each other just over two weeks and had only been on about five dates.

I decided to message him the day I arrived back in the country, and sure enough, he messaged back very quickly, happily telling me he was on holidays from college for the week. I took this as a sign that perhaps he was still interested, and asked if he’d like to meet up one of the evenings. He sent a very enthusiastic reply telling me that he’d like to meet up but was planning on going to the countryside for a night one of the evenings, so couldn’t make proper plans yet. I responded telling him to have a great time and to let me know when he was free. And then, out of the blue, he asked if I’d like to come with him for the night. I asked when and he responded saying the next day. I thought this was very forward of him but was quite flattered that he wanted me to come. I said I had college stuff to do, but that maybe he could come over to my place the following night for dinner. He said he’d come over.

I then got a message from him later that day saying that he was free for the evening and asked if I’d go to the climbing wall with him. He met me outside my house a few hours later, and we had quite a lovely time climbing together. I noticed he was a little on the quiet side, but didn’t think anything was up. He then walked me back to my house, and after I asked him if he was doing anything for the evening, he told me he wasn’t interested in seeing me anymore.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so confused by a guy as I was in that moment. Just hours earlier he’d been inviting me to go to the countryside with him and saying he’d come over for dinner and now this?

Straight after telling me, he didn’t want to see me anymore, he asked when I was free that week to go running with him. I was in absolute disbelief. When I questioned him about why he wasn’t into me anymore, he said that he just wasn’t in the right place for a relationship, and didn’t want to hurt me. He added a bit sad that he could do with another friend as he didn’t have many. I said that it would hurt me too much to be just friends, but he was quite adamant we could make it work.

When I asked about when he had decided he didn’t want to see me anymore, he informed me that when he asked to meet up this week, he didn’t mean it to be a date. I started to get pretty upset but didn’t want him to realize; I just said that I couldn’t be friends and that I’d better go. He told me to message him about going running sometime if I wanted to. He gave me a quick kiss, and I went into my house and bawled my eyes out. It’s only been a few days, and I feel considerably better now, but I can’t stop thinking it over and haven’t been able to eat properly since. After a bit too much wine, I sent him a message saying that I was feeling ok with things now. However, why the hell did he ask me to go to the countryside with him if he wasn’t interested (I was too distracted by other questions to ask him straight out at the time).

Ok so rant over. I have been let down, and have had to let down guys many times by now, but there’s just something about this situation that is bothering me so much. He hasn’t responded to my message yet, and the more I think about how he acted, the more confused I get.

I’m usually pretty good at looking at things from the other person’s perspective and making sense of it. However, I just can’t make sense of how he just lead me on and then let me down with no warning at all. It’s just thrown me off, and I am way more upset and preoccupied with him right now than I should be.

I’d appreciate it if someone could help me make some sense of how he acted so that I can try and get him out of my head.