Family Care Network - gracehttps://fcni.org/tags/grace
enOf Patience, Humility & Grace https://fcni.org/blog/patience-humility-grace
<div class="field-blog-author"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd">Jim Roberts, Founder and CEO</div></div></div><div class="field-image"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" rel="og:image rdfs:seeAlso" resource="https://fcni.org/sites/default/files/field/image/patience_2.png"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://fcni.org/sites/default/files/field/image/patience_2.png" width="900" height="400" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field-blog-type"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/blog-categories/ceo-voice" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Voice of our CEO</a></div></div></div><div class="field-body"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" property="content:encoded"><p>Do you ever get weary of our arrogant, bombastic culture; talking heads who “know it all” but just spew meaningless hot air? <strong>How did we get to the place where rude is cool, where one’s personal opinion is better than anyone else's, where “my way or no way” rules the day?! </strong>Our current president is a prime example of arrogance and haughtiness at its pinnacle – but he is only a symptom of much deeper corruption in our cultural values and social mores. As a society, we have created an environment which encourages and nourishers people like this to thrive. It wasn’t always this blatant though; and I believe there is a majority of us who are appalled and repulsed by it–at least I hope so!</p>
<p>I am appreciative of the process of time at work in my life (translated, I am getting old)!<strong> I have learned and experienced the power of <em>patience</em>, <em>humility</em> </strong><strong>and</strong><strong> <em>grace</em>–the three real cornerstones of success and </strong><strong>a satisfied</strong><strong> life! </strong>To borrow from John Lennon, “Imagine” what life would be like if these virtues prevailed and dominated our social conduct and interactions. Oh my, how different and delightful that would be!</p>
<p>The first of these pillars is patience; an attitude and behavior that is so contrary to our impulsive, impetuous, now-now-now thinking and acting. Yet, it is a healthy and freeing behavior! Wouldn’t you love to be described as “able to bear pains or trials calmly or without complaint; manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; not hasty; and steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity”? <strong>Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power.</strong></p>
<p>Reality check–stuff happens continuously which makes us frustrated and disjointed! Unfortunately, patience has gotten a bad rap for the wrong reasons. To many people, when you say, “Have patience,” it feels unreasonable and inhibiting, an unfair stalling of aspirations, some Victorian hang-up or hangover. Is this the way you think? <strong>Frustration prevents emotional freedom, but patience is a way to overcome frustration, revive your emotional life by making it your choice how you handle daily hassles and stresses.</strong> A favorite axiom of mine is, “Let patience have its full impact, that you will be complete and lacking nothing!”</p>
<p><strong>Humility</strong> is widely under-rated in our culture. Our popular-media culture is saturated with themes of conflict, combat, and conquest. Popular films feature cops chasing crooks; the military fighting terrorists; the lone avenger pursuing the evil-doers. <strong>We say we love peacemakers, but all of our heroes are warriors.</strong> As a society, we like our celebrities to be cheeky, self-important, and narcissistic. To many, being humble is being a wimp, a doormat, a sucker, or letting people “walk all over you.” This is thinking about humility is untrue--its reality is quite the contrary. <strong>It takes more internal fortitude, guts </strong><strong>and</strong><strong> strength of character to be </strong><strong>Humble,</strong><strong> than to be swept away in the wave of cultural narcissism!</strong></p>
<p>What is humility? It’s actually a very subtle concept. Humility is what you have when you give up certain self-aggrandizing thought patterns, reflexes and behaviors;<strong> humility is a kind of liberation, a paradoxical state of freedom from the culturally imposed norms of narcissistic “me-first” thinking</strong>. Humility is about emotional neutrality. It involves an experience of growth in which you no longer need to put yourself above others, but you don’t put yourself below them, either. Everyone is your peer–from the most “important” person to the least. You’re just as valuable as every other human being on the planet, no more and no less. It’s about behaving and reacting from purposes, not emotions.</p>
<p><strong>Humility is a road to experiencing the joy of life not seen by those blinded by arrogance and selfishness!</strong></p>
<p>I am sure most of us have sang or heard the stalwart theme of Christianity, “Amazing Grace”, but how many really understand the power and meaning of<strong> Grace</strong>? I like to describe grace through a contrast: <strong>Grace is getting some favor, gift or blessing you don’t deserve, contrasted to mercy–not receiving what you do deserve</strong>, (i.e., a stayed sentence or judgement). Grace is doing what is right and good without a motive or quid-quo-pro; but solely for the sake of being nice, helpful and caring. It is being <strong>driven by compassion, empathy and genuine concern for others</strong>, not self-aggrandizing thought patterns, reflexes, behaviors, or “what’s in it for me” thinking!</p>
<p>The power of <strong>Grace is the capacity to abandon </strong><strong>judgement</strong><strong>, overlook faults and embrace the uncomfortable for the benefit of others</strong>. It is the manifestation of Patience and Humility through life impacting actions. Grace cleanses and reinvigorates the soul, it gives meaning to our human existence and transforms our character into something better through every act. <strong>Grace is Amazing!</strong></p>
<p>Patience, Humility and Grace are the foundation for success in the Human Services field–without them, there will be marginal success at best. <strong>Life is messy, people aren’t perfect and some are downright awful and repulsive. But when these three virtues are applied full strength, miracles can happen! </strong>Every day provides an opportunity to put Patience, Humility and Grace to work.</p>
<p>The Family Care Network has for over 31 years of serving the most challenging and challenged children, youth and families in our child welfare, probation and behavioral health system. <strong>We have achieved remarkable outcomes over that span of time–all attributable to Patience, Humility and Grace</strong>. We have been blessed with employees and volunteers who truly exemplify these transformative virtues, enabling them to be the difference in repairing broken lives.</p>
<p>I encourage all of us to make the effort to <strong>allow Patience, Humility </strong><strong>and</strong><strong> Grace to rule supreme in our lives</strong>, knowing it can only produce good! <strong>Be4kids. Be the Difference.</strong></p>
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</div></div></div><div class="field-tags"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/patience" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Patience</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/humility" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Humility</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/grace" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">grace</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/human-services" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">human services</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/foster-care" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">foster care</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/be4kids" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Be4Kids</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/fcni" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">FCNI</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/fcniorg" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">FCNI.org</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/family-care-network" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family Care Network</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/advocacy-children-and-youth" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Advocacy for Children and Youth</a></div></div></div>Wed, 06 Feb 2019 19:08:56 +0000jmock948 at https://fcni.orghttps://fcni.org/blog/patience-humility-grace#commentsGrace & Gratitudehttps://fcni.org/blog/grace-gratitude
<div class="field-subtitle"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd">A Foster Parent’s Perspective </div></div></div><div class="field-blog-author"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd">Susan Jones, FCNI Foster Parent</div></div></div><div class="field-image"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" rel="og:image rdfs:seeAlso" resource="https://fcni.org/sites/default/files/field/image/blog_11.24.jpg"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://fcni.org/sites/default/files/field/image/blog_11.24.jpg" width="960" height="302" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field-blog-type"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/blog-categories/voice-foster-parent" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Voice of a Foster Parent</a></div></div></div><div class="field-body"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" property="content:encoded"><p>My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. It’s a time when all across America, people stop to reflect on the things that they are grateful for. I am grateful for many of the same things as most people, however, <strong>as a foster parent, my gratitude also often comes in varied, unconventional ways.</strong> Some of the things I have been grateful for over the years might be, to some people, kind of strange. Like the time one of our boys fell asleep on the living room couch. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but for this kid who had been so horribly abused in his life, the fact that he felt safe enough to fall asleep in an open, common area, was cause for much gratitude.</p>
<p>Then there was the time I watched my 13 year old trying to fly a kite that he had made, only he was struggling because it kept flying upside down. My husband walked over and helped him out, and the kite righted itself and soared high into the air. <strong>The look on my 13 year old’s face was so carefree and happy—that look made me grateful!</strong></p>
<p>And I was grateful for the tears that ran down my kid’s cheeks when he learned that another boy in our home was going to be moving out. I wasn’t grateful that he was sad, but I was grateful that he had the capacity and the heart to feel sadness and loss. <strong>Our kids have had so much loss in their lives, that some of them lose the willingness or even the ability to show their feelings.</strong></p>
<p>And then there was the time when we were providing Emergency Shelter Care and had a teen girl staying with us. She was very angry and hostile, and constantly spewed swear words at everyone in the house. It was the holiday season, and I had planned to have our five year old granddaughter over to look at nearby Christmas lights. However, I quickly realized that I needed to cancel the outing because I didn’t want to expose my young granddaughter to our foster girl’s anger. Later, I was standing at the stove making dinner when the girl asked me what we were having. I told her and I then mentioned that we were no longer having company over because of her unacceptable behavior. She looked at me and said, “If you want to ask them to come, I promise I will be appropriate.” I took her for her word and had my family over. Later, my heart was filled with so much gratitude when I saw her calmly holding my granddaughter’s hand as they walked along looking at the holiday lights together.</p>
<p>When it comes to school, I am known as the “Warlord” in our home. I check on the kids’ homework and attendance, and we talk about school every week. I make sure to keep my expectations reasonable, but I also hold the kids accountable to do the best they can. One boy who had struggled a lot in school when he first came to us was sitting at our table on the evening before he was to return to his Mom’s home. I saw a big tear run down his cheek and when I asked him what was wrong he said, “Who will be the Warlord when I go home? Who will make sure I get up in the morning?” I assured him that he would be the warlord for himself now, because he had learned what he needed to do. I was so grateful to learn that he really appreciated me holding his feet to the fire (so to speak) and expecting great things from him while he lived with us.</p>
<p>People might say, “How can you be grateful for behavior that should be expected?” <strong>When I think about the kinds of things our kids have endured in their short lives, any moments of grace are moments to be grateful for</strong>. Over the years, I have become better and better at finding those moments of grace and savoring them. I always let the kids know how grateful I am for these moments that they share with me. <strong>Some of them are so used to hearing bad things about themselves that they hardly know what to do when someone thanks them for being vulnerable or kind or even funny.</strong></p>
<p><strong>I believe that when you give a lot of grace and have gratitude for others, it comes back to you.</strong> I am thankful for all the people who work with us and our kids, and continue to have grace and gratitude for me. I don’t think a day goes by that someone doesn’t thank me for being a foster parent. And the kids give back too. I have a box full of little notes and letters from kids thanking me and telling me what they appreciated about the time they lived with me and my husband.</p>
<p>Most of all, <strong>I am grateful that even though I never had any biological children, I am Mom and Grandma to some very precious grown men and women, boys and girls, and babies.</strong> I’ve had lots of nicknames over the years—including the dreaded “Warlord”—but I think “Gwanma” is my absolute favorite!</p>
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</div></div></div><div class="field-tags"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/foster-care-and-holidays" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">foster care and the holidays</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/grace" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">grace</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/gratitude" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">gratitude</a></div><div class="field-item even" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/foster-parenting" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">foster parenting</a></div><div class="field-item odd" rel="dc:subject"><a href="/tags/emergency-shelter-care" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">emergency shelter care</a></div></div></div>Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:29:00 +0000cmiller604 at https://fcni.orghttps://fcni.org/blog/grace-gratitude#comments