WEBVTT
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MARC: Zara!
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MARC: Come in and take a seat!
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MARC: It’s good to
see you again, Zara.
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What brings you here today
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ZARA: I’ve just come for a
sexual health test today.
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I’m worried that I might have
something called chlamydia?
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MARC: Okay, yes we
can do that today.
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Why are you worried that
you might have chlamydia?
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ZARA: Well, I was going through
my boyfriend’s phone and I saw
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this text message which said
something about chlamydia.
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I was so shocked that I
didn’t read the whole message,
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but I think that he might have
slept with someone else and got
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it.
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MARC: Okay, I understand.
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When did you see this message?
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And have you been able
to talk to him about it?
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ZARA: I saw it yesterday.
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But no, I haven’t been able
to talk to him about it.
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He would go crazy if he knew
that I looked at his phone,
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he does that sometimes, gets
really angry if he thinks I’m
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asking him too many
questions about his life.
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I don’t think I would be
able to talk to him about it.
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MARC: How are you feeling?
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Do you have any symptoms –
any pain when passing urine,
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any discharge, bleeding between
periods or things like that?
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ZARA: No, none of that.
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I get some pain during sex but
that’s always been the case
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since I’ve been with James.
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MARC: Tell me more about
your relationship with James,
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how long have you been together,
and are you living together?
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ZARA: Yes we’re living together,
we’ve been together for two
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years now, and are planning
on getting married.
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He really wants to get married,
but I’m not sure how I feel.
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MARC: Why is that?
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You said that he
often gets angry,
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can you tell me more about that?
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ZARA: He just gets angry
with me very easily,
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especially if I go
out with my friends,
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or go to visit my family, or
if I want to do anything that
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doesn’t involve just me and him.
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He is always calling
me and messaging me,
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he tells me that he just
gets worried about me,
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doesn’t want anything
to happen to me.
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MARC: Are you afraid of him?
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Has he ever done anything that’s
made you feel scared of him?
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ZARA: Well, not
at the beginning,
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when we were first together
he was really lovely,
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bought me flowers, took me
on dates, was really kind
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and tender.
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But when we moved in
together a year ago,
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it’s like everything changed.
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First he just started pushing
me when we would argue,
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but then I feel like he
would come home from work
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and start an argument
with me for no reason.
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I would shout back and
then he would punch me,
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sometimes he would pull
my hair, swear at me,
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and tell me that I was
worthless and all sorts
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of horrible things.
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I couldn’t fight back
as he’s too strong,
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I would start crying.
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And then afterwards he would
console me and tell me he was
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sorry, that he loves me a lot,
and that he just gets angry
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sometimes because that’s
how much he loves me,
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and would plead with
me not to tell anyone,
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that other people
wouldn’t understand.
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And then everything would
seem like it was okay again,
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until a few days later when the
same thing would happen again.
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But now I’m beginning to think
that he will never change,
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that it will always be like
that, and it scares me.
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MARC: Zara, I’m so
sorry to hear this,
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that this is not your fault, and
under no circumstance should he
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be hitting you, it’s wrong,
and it’s against the law.
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You have a right to
be safe, and unharmed.
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Is this is the first
time you’ve told anyone?
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ZARA: Yes, it’s really hard
because all of my friends are
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in great relationships, their
partners don’t do this to them,
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part of me feels embarrassed
to tell other people,
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I don’t want them to
see him as a bad person,
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I don’t want them to
think badly of me either.
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MARC: I don’t think
they would Zara,
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I think they would be very
concerned for your safety,
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and be very supportive.
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Would it be okay if I asked
you some more questions?
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MARC: Zara, I’m very
worried about you,
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and I am worried for your
safety as James is becoming more
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violent, and I am worried that
something even worse could
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happen to you in the future.
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I would like to help you make a
plan to keep you safe – what do
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you think about that?
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ZARA: I don’t
know, I don’t know.
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I don’t think I can do this
anymore, I am becoming scared,
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scared about the next time
that he might hurt me.
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Maybe it would be a good
idea to have a plan.
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MARC: Great, I think so too.
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Firstly, there is a
domestic violence agency
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that I can refer you too, but
only with your permission.
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They are nearby, and they have
women who can help you talk
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through your situation, and
find way out of it – they have
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a refuge that is in a secret
location that you can stay
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at, if and when you
are ready to leave.
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Secondly, it is
important that you
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know you need to
call the police,
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or go to the hospital
anytime, if you
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feel that things are escalating,
or if he is violent again,
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you need to seek
help immediately
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to protect yourself.
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Thirdly, I would like
to see you every week,
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to check your safety, your
physical and mental health,
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and to give you the opportunity
to have regular support.
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What do you think?
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ZARA: That sounds good.
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But what if he finds out
and does something to me?
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MARC: When I speak
to the agency,
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I will make it very
clear that they
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are to contact you
via telephone, if you
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are fine with that,
and not to turn up
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to your house unannounced,
or to send you any post.
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I will ask them if they can meet
you somewhere away from home,
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in secret.
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ZARA: That sounds good,
really good in fact.
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MARC: Now, is there anyone in
your family or friends circle
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that you can speak
to about this?
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Or if you want you
can bring someone
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to your next
appointment with me?
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It’s important for someone at
home to know so that you have
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extra support.
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ZARA: I think my friend
Jessica would understand,
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she is busy with her new job
but I think she will come.
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I will ask her.
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MARC: Is there anything
else you want to ask me?
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Anything at all?
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ZARA: No, you’ve
been really helpful,
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I just didn’t think I would
end up telling you this today.
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MARC: No, it’s not easy, but
I’m glad we’ve had this chat.
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And please do come back
anytime, we are here for you.
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Right, so I will
make these referrals,
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here is also the number
for the DV organization
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so you can call them too.
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I will see you in a few days,
and Zara, please be safe.
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Remember our plan.
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ZARA: I will.
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Thanks. Thanks again.
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MARC: Take care, bye now.