Friday, 19 December 2014

The Master is in the host=seat for this one, as Villa travel
to a “bone-chillingly cold” Highbury. He manages to get through the 3 seconds
intro without having a go at Wenger for comin’ over ‘ere and taking good lads
like Bruce Rioch & Stewart Houston’s jobs. I suppose the lack of
recognition there’ll be for that reference shows the truth in what pretty much
every political ‘round up’ of the year has agreed on: that Farage has “won”
2014 convincingly.

But I don’t remember there being any real fuss or attention
at the time – only a year later, someone who I don’t even recognise (the Fake
Mike Reed) had his go and the furore was much more. It could be just that the
immense abymsality of the 2014 deserved commensurately more attention, but
still does much to demonstrate the lamentable progress of Farage and his crew into
“the mainstream”. And of course the 2015 slot is presumably still up for grabs –
if there actually are any remaining white
(obvs) male (obvs) TV/Radio ‘personalities’
(so well-off, establishment types) from England (obvs) from the 70s or 80s who haven’t
been Yewtreed, then they are probably cutting some initial demos now.

This is from the season when Wenger had just taken over – I wonder
what odds you’d have got on him still being manager 18 years later would have
been then, being as he was “Arsenal’s 4th manager of 1996” - and you
can see as much from this transitional line-up. What must the combined age of
that GK + three centre-backs have been? Neither wing-back looks especially
natural for the role (nor presumably it didn’t work brilliantly as I can’t
recall it being used much for the rest of his time), the front three is an
interesting set-up. Overall, this is a tiny bit like Utd are shaping up at the
moment in ‘real life’.

Villa, on paper, or ‘on graphic’, have actually got the more
stream-lined, organised looking line-up for me. All solid players and a
formation that logically suits the players in it.

Good start to the highlights, the ‘first throw in of the
game’ and nothing coming from it. I thoroughly understand why Match Of The Day
gives more equal time to all games now, but I have a soft-spot for a big-game
being given the space to develop.

The first effort comes from the home side as a nice move end
with a lovely turn by Bergkamp and an attempted chip which Mark Bosnich and his
prime-example of mid-90s floppy hair are able to deal with easily enough – as they
do also with a firmer effort by Parlour just after.

GOAL!! 1-0 Arsenal Wright

But Bosnich – subject of one of those absolutely useless
bits of trivia that remains entrenched in my mind, Mark Bright saying to Johnny
Vaughan on The Big Breakfast sports round up that he would ‘probably end up at
Chelsea’ about 2 or 3 years before it actually happened – can’t do anything
here as the Gunners go ahead. Savo Milosevic initially seems to have held the
ball up well, but is disposed by a fearsome tackle by Vieira and Bergkamp
slides a gorgeous outside-of-the-foot ball through the Villa back three which
Wright gets onto, onside and drills a low finish into the bottom corner.

Great action! A very similar sequence of play follows with a
Villa import, this time Nelson, being caught in possession in midfield, fantastically
silly play by Bergkamp, and another sweet through ball to Wright. This time he
goes round the trackie-attired Aussie but is thwarted by a heroic block by
Ricardo Sciemecca. Have to disagree with John Champion’s assertion that “you’d
have put your last pound on Wright scoring the moment he went past Bosnich” –
there simply wouldn’t have been time to complete such an audacious wager. If a
stoppage had been called to allow the mechanics of a bet to be placed, the
opportunity for the defenders to get back would have increased, the tension
would have mounted....it would already have begun to look a foolish act of bravado
before the shot was eventually taken. None of which is to say it isn’t an unexpectedly
excellent bit of defending – which is what the commentator meant anyway, just
dressed that sentiment up in a cliché that makes no sense when you think about
it – as they are wont to do.

Another let off for Villa. Bergkamp, who looks a completely
deluxe element in the game so far, gets in a shot which Bosnich sends spinning
up in the air, before the unlikely combination of a Garde overhead to Bould’s
head puts the ball onto the roof of the net. Arsenal could be miles ahead, buts
only one as we go to HALF TIME.

Villa could equalise with the first action after the change-round.
Staunton hits a long ball to Yorke who controls nicely and goes forward before
putting in a low cross from which a combination of Ian Taylor and John Lukic send
the ball rolling towards the net but Bould is there to get it away. Lukic, of
course, is the subject of a “made up fact”, it being falsely believed in some
circles that he was born on the plane that crashed at Munich. I read about
another untrue “fact” this week in the media scrum to commemorate the 40th
anniversary of the inventors of Trivial Pursuit having their brainstorm.
Apparently in the early editions they included an answer which claimed Lt
Columbo’s first name was Phillip. This isn’t the case and was included in a
book of (otherwise real) facts by a researcher who placed it deliberately to
see if people were ripping off his trivia, creating a high-stakes lawsuit.

End to end now: Yorke again looks classy as he goes past
defenders but his cross ends up being blocked and Merson pings a ball over the
top to Wright who skins Staunton but whips a left-foot shot wide across goal
when he probably should have scored....

GOAL!! 1-1 Milosevic

...and they pay for it Arsenal, as Villa level. Twice Nelson
does well getting forward down the right, and from his cross Arsenal defend
pretty weakly, Mark Draper heads the ball across and, coming from a slightly
odd angle, Milosevic controls the finish well with his left foot, the ball
rasping very satisfyingly into the net.

We’re told that makes it three goals against this opposition
already for the Serb and he nearly adds another straight away with a header
which is too much in the middle of goal and easily tipped over by Lukic – who was
amazingly, born amid the wreckage of the Munich air disaster.

GOAL!! 2-1 Merson

Ah, you’re sick here if you’re a Villa fan. Just as they
were looking on top, they go back behind. Not a goal I personally enjoyed this,
it comes on the break following a ‘surging run’ by sub Steve Morrow and Merson
gets pace just outside the box and hits a fractionally dipping shot that bends
away from the keeper and in – contrary to the previous goal, I didn’t feel this
“went in very nicely” but others may disagree – Champion has it as “a goal of
the highest order”

GOAL!! 2-2 Yorke

Not surprise given how Villa were looking, but poor
defending again. A straightforward pass by Milosevic put Yorke in and, left-footed,
he slots under the keeper. The Villa fans go mad and with 15 mins to go anything
could happen here.

Within reason. And included in that realm of possibility
would be “Bergkamp to go past the defenders easily, then put too much on his
shot and send it wide when you’d expect him to tuck it away” as that’s exactly what
occurs next. At the other end Milosevic volleys an ambitious left-footed effort
from an angle which is easily saved.

And that’s that! A rather anti-climatic feel to the final
whistle there, as it seemed set for a final twist

Not sure whether it’s the knowledge of how things developed
in the next few years after this as they became two of the acknowledged star
performers but everything Bergkamp and Yorke did in this game looked on a different
level in its pace and sharpness. A really good wintry MOTD package as attested by
both managers in notable fair and balanced interviews afterwards – followed up
by this clangingly unfinessed, yet winsome, “explanation” by Merson on what
Arsene Wenger’s approach is:

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

The first words spoken by a surprisingly modern-looking Gary
Lineker, and how many great philosphers have posed the same question over the years when wondering what to write about on a morning off work.

Its testament to his perceived ‘aged well’ reputation that its mildly
unexpected that he looks younger 14 years ago than he does now – perhaps his
incredibly husky voice as displayed on Sports Personality Of The Year was less
a season affliction and the first point on a tick-list to enshrine himself as a
full HWF.

Less unanticipated however is the perilous plight of The
Owls – as Gary intones “surely they need to win their three remaining games” to
have any chance of staying up. After finishes of 3rd, 7th
& 7th between 1992-94, the next six seasons (with an outlier in
97, 7th again) had seen a remorseless and steady descent – as if
small iron girders had been patiently applied to both feet, then two two wings and
their flight had been slowly impinged: 12th, 13th, 15th,
16th..... as Lineker says, maybe not in so many words, “it looks
like that sadistic torturer may finally have decided to weight down the beak
and finally send this bird crashing into the ground face first in a ball of feathers
and shrieking”.

Unless! Unless they can see off Coventry City at Highfield
Road.

Here are those stellar line-ups. Coventry looks a very
care-free, attacking set-up to me: probably a kind of 4-1-3-2 with McAllister
sitting behind a very fluid and interchangeable front five. Peter Shreeves, we
are informed, keeps the same side that played Leeds last time (I think Harry Kewell
scored a peach in that), and I interpret that as a very of-the-era 3-5-2
approach, with Hinchcliffe and Alexandersson supplying the width. Alan Quinn
will need to get about a fair bit in midfield as Horne and Jonk at this stage of their careers promise to be as mobile as a rusted Communist era battleship abandoned in
Siberia – and a lot less evocative.

The first action, on a gorgeous spring day, looks like it
could set the tone: wandering play by Noel Whelan on the left ends with some
nice interplay between Zuniga & Hadji, with the latter firing in a shot
which Kevin Pressman beats away.

GOAL!! 1-0 Coventry McAllister

Terrible defending by Wednesday and already Coventry look to be a different
level here. This is McAllister’s 12th of the season, so no excuse
for Wednesday to not be aware of his forward runs even if he was nominally the furthest
back of this flowing midfield unit. Robbie Keane opens the gap with a clever
dummy, Zuniga’s involved again, laying the ball off to his captain who storms
forward and slots past Pressman to give the home side a 38th minute
lead.

HALF-TIME. Wow, must have been some action there..... or is it
one of those where the 2nd period so incident packed they back-load
the highlights? Only one way to find out....

It’s a promising start. Hinchliffe clips a neat ball down
the line where Giles de Bilde holds it up well, then slips in a really clever
back-heel, which Quinn, as we said he needed to do, gallops forward to run on
to, hitting first-time shot which goes
not far wide of 42-year old Steve Ogrizovic’s post.

Analysis

Substitution – Haslam for Walker for Wednesday. Is that an
attacking move? You’d have to assume so, not many players could be less
forward-inclined than a player who scored 1 goal in over 700 professional
games.

what is this wall even supposed to block/stop??

And no sooner had that change been made than Wednesday
nearly found themselves two down. Paul Gerrard sadly obviously never saw this fantastic
effort by McAllister, as from 35 yards or so out, with “everyone” expecting a
cross, a shot is unleashed which Pressman has to get back across to, tipping
the ball onto the bar and perilously close to being over the line as it bounces
down. Commentator John Champion doesn’t acknowledge the keeper’s touch either
live or on the replay but I’m sure he saves it.

GOAL!! 2-0 Coventry Zuniga

Fantastic stuff by McAllister again, after Keane runs the
left hand channel intelligently and cuts inside, no-one gets near the veteran
Scot, allowing him to outside-of-foot an arching effort fromm the edge of the box which, again, hits the
bar and bounces down, only this time the little Peruvian Zuniga reacts well to
dive in and head the ball into the net. On the replay, Champers this time does
me a favour, by confirming I was right about that Kewell strike. The tense this
is being written in is more all over the place at this point than Shreeves' Stoppers

GOAL!! 3-0 Coventry McAllister

This is shocking by Wednesday, Coventry rampant and
McAllister utterly running the show. Hadji gets free in exactly the same space
Keane did on the previous goal, does very similarly in turning back inside and
laying the ball off for McAllister running onto the ball. No need for anyone
else to follow up this time as the finish gives the keeper no chance and is
drilled into the bottom corner. Champion misses the point somewhat, putting it
down to “being in the right place at the right time” which doesn’t really cover
any of the excellent play we’ve seen.

And Woody Allen loves what he’s seeing out there.

GOAL!! 4-0 Coventry Hadji

Mind-numbingly inept play by Haslam as Wednesday for a
moment got into the other half, but he dallies and has the ball pinched off
him, the Sky Blues speed forward again...look at this position, it 4 attackers against
1 defender

In a way they end up ‘not scoring as easily as they possibly
might have done’ – a microscopically small
a glimmer of hope for Wednesday I suppose: “at least we got back” – Hadji plays
in Zungia, the beleaguered Pressman repels the first shot but Hadji follows up
and slices neatly into the far corner with outside of his left-foot.

Exposed at the back

GOAL!! 4-1 de Bilde for Wednesday

Is there hope yet?! Wim Jonk slides a ball through a defence
which seems to be enjoying the carnival atmosphere a bit prematurely and de
Bilde skirts past Ogrizovic nicely and tucks home. Its refereed to, in that slightly odd tone often struck by pundits/experts where it implies some far
greater shame or malice than the crowd simply being pissed off, on commentary that
the travelling supporters were booing their team in the build up to the goal.
After what we’ve seen, getting ragged by Israel Zuniga and outpaced by a 36
year old AOTS, they were entitled to be a bit grumpy.

And, no, there was no hope yet as that’s the end of a fairly
brief highlights package. Well, I’ve been screwed over there: 6 minutes into
the billed 14:38 running time and it’s all over, 4-1 Coventry.

Ah, okay, is one of those ones where it’s intercutting
between different Relegation-haunted strugglers. Possibly should have done some
very basic research before embarking on this – how often do you get interviews
with both Terry Burton & Peter Shreeves in the same package?? I wouldn’t recommend
massively sticking it out to the end of the analysis, but as it goes Trevor
Brooking seems breezily confident Wimbledon will stay up whereas Mark Lawrenson
implies he thinks Bradford could beat Liverpool actually – which ended up being
right as it goes. Wednesday alas, went down with Watford & Wimbledon.I wonder if Steven Gerrard learned a lot from McAllister? If you look at everything the latter does in this game, you could picture the former doing in a very similar way and style...

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Ten past five on a busy weekday, crossing The Strand (remember they used to have walk ways over it? They got knocked down in November 2007 didn't they? It was "The Basement Party" night, we played Sunderland and won 7-1 the next day. They were grotty things - as the photographer of the above notes "it stank of piss", there was often an unexplained pile of shorn hair lying around on a Monday morning, and it seemed fairly inevitable and accepted when they were dismantled. Really, though, who did that help? Pedestrians have to wait longer to cross, and the traffic.....has to wait longer because the pedestrians stop traffic to cross. Couldn't they have just de-pissed the footbridges a bit?) and the traffic, as it is wont to be, is relentless. This is literally an everyday occurrence but tonight for some reason a guy next to was fuming and doing 'look how exasperated I am' deep breaths. Eventually he turned to me and implored "what is up with all this frigging traffic eh lad?!"I mused on it for a second and offered "well....its a very busy road and its rush-hour so..."He didnt find any fault in that per se, but stomped ahead of me when 'eventually' the lights did change, leaving me with "too frigging sensible you lad".

Dont have them anymore either -for some reason - bus lanes

Annoyance at a purely factual answer is a bit mean isnt it? Like when people say of the game that launched the "Fergie-time" phenomenon "why on earth were there seven minutes stoppage time anyway?!" - 'well the referee got injured and had to be substituted in the second half, and the delay took about 6 and a half minutes...' That's possibly the second most often asked question about Steve Bruce, and the most common is one which has also, co-incidentally, posed by the metaphorical & quite often literal 'man on the street' - "what happened to Steve Bruce, he looked like he'd been battered when he was on telly last night...""

If you ever get pestered about this, you must always fall back on the straight answer "well, what happened was....someone tried to steal his daughter's car, he got in a scrap, saved the car, but took a bit of a whack"'Ah. Yeah, no I meant the other night, that was a few years ago that happened?'"No, the exact same thing happened again"'How many times is that now? Must be the sixth or seventh!'

We're playing Hull aren't we? That's the "point". Looking to extend a 100% home record against 'The Tigers'. The first encounter was January 2009, which we won with a header by Fellaini (overshadowed by him receiving a very harsh booking which meant he was suspended for, as it was, the looming double-header with League Leaders Liverpool) and an outstanding 30 yard 'Ronaldo~esque' instep free-kick by Arteta. The former of those two since sold midfielders looked to have a good game at the weekend, now starting six games in a row for Utd, the last four of which have been wins, with another goal tonight. One of the odder episodes of recent times must be his handling last year by a manager who should have known exactly how to get the best out of him, yet got him to look worse than ever before.

That 3-0 stroll looked in every way a harking back to far flung sepia tinged olden days of two years ago when teams went to Old Trafford and meekly took a two or three nil loss and 'got out alive'. A complete cop-out and dereliction of duty by the visiting manager, even against the genuinley top drawer Utd teams. If you look up "FUTILITY" in the dictionary, there's an image of Moyes giving instructions to Tony Hibbert as he prepares to replace Lucas Neill after 84 minutes, when 0-3 down there in 2009. Incidentally, Bruce has never beaten Utd as a manager in 21 games. So, them going there on Saturday was less likley to end well than a couple of scals eyeing up his youngest's new Owosso Pulse.

The next year, we routed Hull 5-1 with Arteta getting two (one after a lovely backheel by Pienaar), a wet squib of an own goal by someone, then two nice late finishes by Rodwell & Donovan to give us a cushion we very rarely enjoy. I remember Heitinga actually having a really stylish game playing in midfield here, so its fair to assume the opposition must have been pretty bleak. The main signifigance of this one, hopefully, is that it came on the back of a frustrating and avoidable 1-2 defeat at Tottenham in the previous game.

Last season was a 2-1 victory very similar to the recent West Ham game: a lucky/offside first goal, equaliser, fiesty challenges, escaping a possible red card, then a sudden flash of class and a lighting break involving a sub who's recently come on and a thoroughly satisfying winning goal. In this case, it was Pienaar the sub who actually slid the finish in, not merely set it up as with Etoo the other week. This was also Kone's last outing - an odd cameo in which he actually did pretty well and made his best contribution since coming - then spoiled it by missing an absolute sitter. Not really the last thing you'd want anyone to be able to remember you doing...

I hope Martinez resists the temptation to go fiddly or hedge his bets for this one with City to come on Saturday. I would pick the current best line-up, and say barring something quite significant they're playing both of these games - we've then got (assuming we play a complete second-string XI for the non-event Krasnodar home game) 9 days to rest before the next league game, so no excuse really for getting too ahead of ourselves. We've not won enough games - winning at home to a horribly struggling relegation-fight bound rag-bag team is simply a must. We're 11th as I type and back below a Liverpool side everyone is keen to say have been largely atrocious. I could understand Mirallas getting taken off the other day fitness-wise, but when someone's in as good form as he is, he needs to be on the pitch as much we can get away with - 5 goals in his last 6 starts (barring the brief appearance at Anfield) and looking like he could add to that at any point. His approach is what a few of the others need to mimmick - I'd like to see Barkley unload a few mad shots - as without Deulofeu from last season's squad we have reverted to passy-passy slow build stuff a tad at times - Gary Neville picked up on this failing very well the other day.

0-1 Quinn 72 it is then

Hull havent won for 6 games - Steve Bruce teams always lose form around this time of year - he was sacked by Sunderland at the start of December 3 years ago. The nights draw in, the kids have nothing to do, and it becomes a seige at times - its no wonder his team's begin to lose focus as their manager spends less time working on tactics and more and more time defending his family's property like a medieval moat guardian on the lookout for encroaching hordes. The mini-preview in The Guardian today said that their fans have been clamouring in the local paper for Stephen Quinn and David Meyler to be restored to the team, which should tell you everything about how they've been playing. Thankfully, even with a few unresolved injuries, we'ev got a few more enticing options than that. I'd move Barkley back in behind Lukaku , drop Eto'o and start Mirallas and McGeady with the idea being to do everything just that bit quicker and commit defenders more.

Its fantastic to have Eto'o available but, as a personal opinion, he should either play upfront or be on the bench. When he plays deeper he seems (aside form the header at Burnley, admittedly probably our best goal of the season) to me to exaggerate how sensible and team-orientated he an be. There were times at Spurs where crosses wnet in and he was far deeper than any player who is one of the front 4 should be in the box, let alone one who is one of the best goalscorers of the past decade in Europe. At the end of the day, you dont sign Samuel Eto'o to have him doing a Leon Osman impression - without the forward runs. Its Goodison, at night, in winter, its getting on for a sell-out, opposition are garbage - it should be boss. And ,as much as it would be neat to note that I'm "too frigging sensible" to think such things ever go to plan, I am think it actually will work out in such a way this time if we play approach it correctly- with a resounding 3-0 win to kick off the festive period.

Friday, 28 November 2014

I was right"A fraught 2-1 win". That's what this correspondent called for this time last week in the big West Ham game - and what happened? So everything that follows should be read through that prism: a prism of pristine, crystalline truth. Without getting too moist and nostalgic, what timelessly satisfying outing that was. Hard to think of a combination of factors more likely to add up to an enjoyable match-going experience than a cold, dark autumn day, a niggly, spoiling for a scrap atmosphere, a pantomime villain opposition manager and referee, hard done by cry-arsing opponents and a thrilling winning goal. If you picked a game at complete random from the past and asked your dad or granddad 'what was that one like?' and they gave that synopsis, you'd think "sounds a good afternoon that".

I've really enjoyed Tony Hibbert's contributions in both the West Ham & Wolfsburg games. Filling in at left-back - probably expecting Downing to play against him I think, but as was said elsewhere possibly just as much to do with him being wise to the grockness of Carlton Cole, Andy Carroll & Kevin Nolan and all that entails. Whatever the reason, he stood in watchfully and did everything with control and nous - for someone who I think has only ever started in that position once before (a 1-5 atrocity at City 10 years ago at that), it was an excellent showing. On Thursday he was restored to his right-back slot and again played a full part in a fantastic win - there was even one moment where roles were comically reversed as McGeady won the ball back with a well-timed tackle, and Hibbert then went past his man with a well-disguised little turn. Its a far cry from just over a year ago when Marinez seemed to think Hibbert was past it - preferring Stones out of position at full-back for the Anfield shellacking and even moving McCarthy there over putting Hibbert on in the next game.

After a slight quibble re Martinez's selections, its worth mentioning that he's handled these two games expertly. The pragmatism he showed in playing Hibbert left-back instead of sticking rigidly to 'the plan' and putting Luke Garbutt in was vindicated on the day and even more so by how well he played and how at ease he looked in Germany. One of the more asinine decisions Moyes made in his last year was to put all of Gueye, Junior(!) & Oviedo in for starts and get booted from pillar to post by a Leeds line-up in which El Hadji Diouf was one of the less snide players. Throwing them in, seeing how they reacted and 'toughend up' would have had some merit - doing it then virtually writing them all off because of it was bizarre and, odd word maybe, cowardly to be honest.

The win against Wolfsburg was achieved with our best half of the season so far in my opinion - after a slightly iffy first half-hour, we counter-intuitively improved a lot after the usually outstanding James McCarthy went off (whether he had been not so involved due to carrying a knock or whether it was just co-incidence I'm not sure). Not to take the established figures performances for granted, but the most exciting thing about this win was that in Garbutt, Eto'o, McGeady* and especially Besic, who I thought was MOTM, there were new(ish) players "stepping up"and taking responsibility, not just backing up the spine of last year but adding to it.

Get the Besics right

Hopefully people weren't influenced by Clarke Carlisle wittering on that Besic was playing a "very very risky game" by doing exactly what we tactically set up to do (Def Mid drop in, split the CBs and receive the ball) and doing it well, but I haven't seen much comment on how well he played - I thought he was brilliant. To be fair to the erstwhile Question Time mumbler, he does at least convey a sense of enjoyment of the games he commentates on and gets into them - if he ends up coming out with the odd bit of bollocks I suppose he's only doing what any of us would do in the same position....*Even after his shocking miss 'Robert Terrible' kept running and offering a lot to the team - he should have been slipped in in the last minute by Barkley. The Enemy's Among UsSo I was in the Children's Savings Working Party conference call this morning....... Pretty unusually this next bit is prompted by something that happened in work, but I'm not actually going to go on about that, just what it nudged me to think about. Without going into any details, there was a decision made that seemed a bit odd, a bit rushed and not really the most logical way of solving it. The explanation given was put over that it had been come to due to "worries about a Daily Mail headline" - weird to hear it actually being cited like that. In discussion about politics, fiction about politics, as an excuse for politicians doing gormless stuff - yeah, you can say it was 'avoiding the Daily Mail slating them'....but for it to really be the case slightly jarred me.

What is it about the Daily Mail that gets into people? You walk around the office and depressingly, if you see people with a non-work screen up I'd say 8/10 times its the Daily Mail. You have to credit the paper in a grim way - it has managed to convince a huge portion of normal people that it somehow is in league with them. An utterly cynical, small-c-conservative, fanatically monarchical defender of the elite, rich and vested interests is the go-to site for people who, if they really do think like that, don't seem to apply it in any discernible way.

I suppose its not right to infer too much from people clicking on a site because its in their favourites or buying a paper because its cheap - but it is insidious. You hear the clichéd (and nothing becomes a cliché without a good dollop of truth as Stuart Maconie pointed out once) scare-mongering and bitterness seeping into conversations. It bothers me on every level - that the source is such a flawed one to begin with and that it seems to be (shielded by the defence of being a newspaper) so unquestioned. I know going on about the Mail is the least original thing you can possibly do, but as I said at the start of this bit - how does it wield that power and instill such scaredycatness in people and institutions? And how has it captured a group who should have so little truck with its stance? Spin it round and imagine people who actually are pro-Queen, pro-flag, I-heart-mortgages, down-with-this-sort-of-thingers being fanatically drawn to and obsessed with how The Independent might be 'a bit off' with them and you might see what my ill-expressed puzzlement is getting it.

Or not. But how can you take any sort of journal seriously when they run in all-but successive days:Mylene Klass v Ed Miliband. Mansion Tax Bad. Labour hates the wealthy. White Van Man Disgrace. Labour are snobs who hate the "average(!) person"Class War! Labour v Private Schools. Labour hates the wealthy. The overlap between the first two is incredible, and I don't recall seeing this actually linked by anyone. In attacking Emily Thornberry ("this snobbery is the mark of a true champagne socialist") they actually flagged up "she's a snob - what's she got a three-story house in Islington?" - without reference to the fact that literally the day before they'd taken the exact opposite stance and been happy to implicitly agree with Klass (ludicrously) saying you can only get "like a garage" for £2m and only "little grannies" live in them. You cannot credibly switch so easily from one argument to the next. The last one, a plan to "put private schools under legal duty to co-operate with state schools" (to do something 'charitable' in order to continue to be classed as 'charities') was lambasted as "offensive biogotry", "tasteless" and in complete swing-back "class war" (again!). With an added dollop of mis-attributed 'hypocrisy'.

"you're getting hypocrisy wrong!!!".In both instances, the Mansion Tax and the Private Schools proposal, the Mail, amongst others, are utterly incorrect to throw out the hypocrisy angle. The reasoning is that Ed Miliband/Emily Thornberry has a big house, yet they want to tax big houses. Tristram Hunt went to a private school, yet they want to "tax" private schools and force them to help state schools. Neither is hypocritical. If they were saying "all Mansions to be taxed - except those of Labour MPs, no charge on those" and "all Private Schools have to make a contribution to the wider community - except the ones Labour Mps attended or their children may attend - they're exempt", of course that would be flagrant, scandalous hypocrisy. The fact that they're pushing for (very minor and tentative if we're honest) action on both despite their links to what they're pushing at makes the position stronger if anything and is, without getting carried away, to their credit in my view. Tottenham!

We're off to the centre of all this class war and craziness on Sunday for what is for better or worse, always 'a proper game'. Our record at Tottenham for any young fan probably seems pretty normal - since 2006 P8 W3 D2 L3 - but I dont have that luxury and instinctively think of it as one of the fixtures Most Likely To Prompt A High Pitched Voice Whine during the game and Market Leader In Pre-Empting A Fuck Off Everton Grump after it.

92/93 L 1-2 (Beardsley)

6 times in the first 10 trips to White Hart Lane in the Premier League we contrived to throw away leads and lose in the dying stages - to comically late winners by the luminary names of Andy Turner and Darren Caskey on the first two occasions - with a potent cocktail of hard luck stories and sheer rank incompetence. You're looking at the 1-4 hammering with a Chris Armstring hat-trick as one of the least traumatic of that first decade because at least we were uncomplicated garbage and didn't tease the illusion of not being so.

99/00 L 2-3 (Unsworth 2)

I'm sure Spurs fans wouldn't describe their record from 1992 - 2006 as being reliable, convincing or dependable. Yet over that period their record in this fixture was P14 W10 D4 L0 F29 A15. I suppose given the circumstances of some of the games, from the opposite side of the fence you'd have fond memories indeed of Everton collapsing late on. To Oyvind Leonhardsen...

01/02 D 1-1 (Weir)

The only time we didn't lose between 1998 and 2006 was achieved with an out-of-the-blue 20 yard dipping volley by David Weir and a desperate all-hands-to-the pump rearguard action by the 'trusty' 5-3-2 set-up, with the "wing"backs being Hibbert and Gary Naysmith....

Interval!

"ah, they're awful arent they these immigranters?!"

'I dunno - have you ever worked with any?'

"yeah they were sound actually "

'ever been assisted by any in any sort of situation where you needed their help or service?'

"yeah they were sound"

'ever met any when you were out?'

"yeah they were sound"

'ever known anyone who goes out with one?'

"yeah, they're sound"

'any family directly or indirectly come from abroad?'

"oh yeah, great stories, love them, all sound"

'ever played football or socialised with any?'

"yeah, they're sound"

'on football, ever enjoyed any play by or the universally acknowledged huge improvement in the game here by overseas players and managers coming here to work?'

"obviously, yeah, they're sound"

'ever mused on the fact, as the Czech politician Tomas Prouza did today, that in the Battle of Britain - the one event most said to identify our country's proud stand alone against evil - its known that the RAF included Polish, New Zealand, Canadian, Czech, Australian, Belgian, South African, Sri Lankan, Jamaican, French and American pilots?'

"yeah, yeah,we get whet you're saying. Nice one to them"

'so, they're not really that bad are they, overall?'

"OH GOD YES! I'd over-ride all we've just covered to be honest , send em back and take my chances. If it meant some hypothetical person - who is never, ever any of the above - might not be able to temporarily theoretically claim some shadowy, meagre benefits, I'd prefer that. Overall, its just not worth the trade off...."

Football!

06/07 won 2-0 (OG, Johnson)

The turning point with regard to our fortunes at Tottenham, and actually a good claim at being where the Modern Era starts for Everton, was the 2-0 win early in the 2006-07 season. Given the prevailing form going into the game, given we were down to 10 men and given we had finished bottom half the season before, this match (won with an OG and a superb breakaway goal by Andy Johnson) arguably had a more long-lasting and seismic impact on our expectations than Everton Rooney at Leeds, which a lot of people might point to. Although Moyes famously never pushed on and won (or gave the consistent impression of trying to win) at the really Big grounds, after this point it was a bit of a surprise if we didn't have a real good go at Spurs, City (as then) or other 'nearly there' teams.

09/10 lost 1-2 (Yakubu)

Hopefully its a good example of once you've crossed that threshold, even if you get set back soon after, you at least know you can do it. We beat Chelsea, Arsenal and Utd (away) last season - all have been turned back already this season, but I don't think that means we will automatically revert to feeling we cant win them: we haven't won here for 5 years again now, but having done it in 3 differing ways in recent memory, you approach it with a bit of confidence.

10/11 D 1-1 (Baines)

Personally, I really rate Pochettino and think he will do a good job in the end - but they look a very in-between phases line-up to me at the moment. If we had a completely full squad to pick from and no game on Thursday before and Wednesday after I'd expect us to win.

Controversial comment: if circumstances were absolutely ideal for us, that would give us a better chance.

Its the same for Spurs though, and as it goes I can see a disjointed game with neither side playing well and a 1-1 draw - which would keep our unbeaten run going and set us up nicely for Hull at home in midweek.

Terrible

Think of a thing. Say its terrible.

That's my top tip for if you get stuck how to end a blog (can also be applied at start and middle of piece too).

"Black" Friday, that is a thing, and it is without any doubt utterly terrible. You wouldn't have thought something so brazenly terrible would actually have even dared to be floated...but there it is. Trending away. What are people doing? Flocking to take part in a grotesque spectacle, a herd-following orgy fixated on consuming..... And the media love it - of course there's nothing sneery or condescending in photos and videos of possibly hard up people fighting between themselves for some tat. "Image from #Primark". ('we all know what was meant by that....')

Thinking about it, I'm surprised the retailers and bosses are happy for it to receive so much attention as what it suggested to me mostly was - how much are we ripped off most of the time? If you accept that, whatever 'offers' or 'reductions' are hawked, goods are not going to be sold at a loss, there's an argument that the prices today are actually the about-right level, it would follow that the "usual" prices are unjustifiable other than people pay it. Its pushing it a bit, but you could say, if people could restrain themselves and not collude by paying the inflated/usual prices the rest of the year, the companies would slowly have to drag the asking prices down to "Black" Friday levels as standard. So, I suppose, if you went about it in a methodical, restrained way and didn't buy anything all year, then only bought selectively and according to need on "Black" Friday, it would be an entirely rational method.....

Well that's two attempts at taking a slightly contrary approach - at the end of the day though, as stated, its the worst of the worst and people need to just knock it off.

"Oh, I've done the most awful rubbish at times just to have somewhere to go in the mornings"

About

A completely unnecessary blog by two lads from Liverpool who have overrated the importance of their opinions. Loaded with pretence, laced with arrogance and underwritten by a delicious cocktail of contempt and cynicism.