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Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Cybergirl; an Introduction from an Intrepid web explorer...

So I am Cybergirl, your intrepid web
explorer! Extremely excited to be joining The GWG as a regular contributor. As
the (quite frightening) reality is that I spend 90% of my life online, in pursuit
of one unerring mission/obsession – using the world wide web as created by
genius Sir Tim Berners Lee, to facilitate your quality of life. That’s it –
that’s what it’s all about. Because otherwise what on earth is the Internet there
for? Indeed. So here I am ready and willing to bring you the hottest tips, the
newest apps mixed with a bit of veritable life experience…

This week the issue burning a hole in the
back of my mind is BURGLARS. Now London is choc full of them, and Cybergirl
pretty much thought she was immune; not so - see it was three am in the morning, I was lying in
bed, calmly dreaming of sheep, men on horseback, gazelles with wings, when
there was a HUGE clatter coming from the living room. I turned to ‘the date’ (he’ll
reappear at regular intervals; hence the pseudonym) and mumbled ‘go back to
sleep, it’s just the cat...’

Ok I thought, it’s a bit loud even for the
cat. ‘The date’ rushed out of bed like Clark Kent after a power nap, to
confront the catburglar who had clambered like Spiderman over the railings and
was in the process of yanking my beautiful 27 inch 2011 IMac through my living
room window…

MY beautiful glorious 2011 IMAC NOOOOOOO…..

The sheer audacity – the burglar had even
switched the light on. In the space it took ‘the date’ to get from the bedroom
to the living room (all of about five seconds) Spiderman had somehow managed to
jump three metres (IMac in hand) to the pavement. On spotting ‘the date’
however he freaked, (‘the date’ was naked to be fair) he then dropped the Mac
(which shattered onto the pavement floor) and then proceeded to flee, sadly
never to be seen again…

Now what is the point of this little anecdote
(apart from the fact that ‘the date’ is definitely a keeper?) well, the burglar
– despite being clearly identified was never caught. But what the very amenable
sergent (who turned up in seconds amongst a huge team of plain clothed
officers) informed me is that had I registered my IMac and all my other
electrical products on the Immobilise website (serial numbers et al), anytime
someone of dubious intent is searched any property in their possession can be
scanned against property registered on the website and boom – convictions
aplenty!

Even better the stolen property can then be
returned to you. Because did you know ladies and gentlemen, if an item is stolen
and isn’t registered there aint NO WAY the police can trace you – so bar you
turning up to an auction advertised in one of those grainy adverts in Metro,
the chances of your beloved item being returned to you are beyond slim.

So what is the moral of the story? USE THE
WEB; use every possible resource at your fingertips in the fight against crime.
There it is; my tip of the week. If you do on thing this week, register your
serial numbers… I implore you. This is Cybergirl, you intrepid caped crusader
signing off. Till next week…