It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a minder. Sterling is a very young man with significant fortune and rather more fame than is perhaps good for him. He is a magnet for trouble. One can only hope that he matures quickly and surrounds himself with enough sensible people that he stays grounded, and concentrates more on his football than getting into scrapes.

And in due course a wife, rather than successive contraception-free one night stands, might help him too.