What I learned: Last week’s Scandal episode

Fortunately for me, unfortunately for everyone who actually likes Scandal, there is no new episode this week. But to tide all you gladiators over, here’s WHAT I LEARNED from last week’s episode of Scandal.

1. Fitz wants to grow old with Olivia. It’s one too many wrinkles late for that, Mr. President.

2. Fitz wants to fill the secret Vermont house with kids. He could start with the three (or two plus a bro-son?) he already has.

3. Team Mellie for real now. Even though her wig is awful. Olivia’s bouncy weave isn’t much better.

4. Olivia definitely has a weave. I don’t even know if people are trying to say she doesn’t but it wouldn’t surprise me. Like how people thought Beyonce actually cut her hair.

5. Harrison begged to have a shirtless scene.

6. So did Fitz.

7. The writers remembered the show is about Olivia and Fitz and not how Mellie and Fitz get back together in spite of his lying and meanness and generally being a terrible husband.

8. Second week in a row where a disturbing scene was way too long. The only thing worse than Mom, Interrupted was Olivia’s second dress coat.

And the mom was obviously going to escape. It can’t even count as something I learned.