The Park in Chelsea is quite literally a beautiful place to eat. It isn’t an actual park, but the marginally glassed-in courtyard area is so full of growing green things that a bird took an actual crap on my mother-in-law before we had the opportunity to order our food. No joke. But this was brunch, so we laughed it off, took down some Bloody Mary’ses and pressed on.

Our group was limited to smaller version of the brunch menu designated the “Large Party” menu. If the reasoning was to make the service more efficient then The Park completely failed in that regard, because despite how nice the staff was they took an absurdly long time to do about anything and continuously forgot drink orders. The good news was that the company and setting were enjoyable, but it eventually got so bad that they started offering us free stuff.

Plain and simple.

Nonetheless, I wound up ordering the Classic Park Burger (because the waiter told me it was better than the Breakfast Pizza). This was simply topped with cheddar and served on an English muffin with fries on the side. Or at least that’s what the menu said. I asked the waiter if it came with any veggies and when he said it did I said, “No thanks.”

No bird crap on this.

When it was eventually served, it looked pretty good and I dove in. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare and aside from that it was pretty good. Unfortunately, that’s about all I can say about it. There wasn’t really anything special and the English muffin didn’t really change the game at all. Considering how long it took, I would have been better off just hitting up Shake Shack. Or, better yet, I should have just gone with the pizza, which I tasted and was a step up from the burger.