Transport

A brief pause in postings, due in no small part to efforts to cram in some decent bike rides before the weather turns really nasty. Because, well, I bought a new bike. In celebration, a posting on less artistic (more greasy) matters.

This new sturdy beauty gives a great ride, cackles maliciously at potholes, and looks quite hip to boot. My latest toy demanded a breaking-in, of course, so I began by putting it through its paces with an expedition up and down the East River (by the way, if for some reason your chauffeur can’t deal with the BQE and you desire a helicopter to deliver your Preciousness to LaGuardia, I now know exactly where the heliport is) back down to my Lower East Side ‘hood, down under the bridges (the Williamsburg, the Manhattan, the Brooklyn), where in a flash I’m at the soon-to-move Fulton Fish Market (smelly, no matter the time of day or the politics involved), past the South St. Seaport, the ferry terminals (Staten Island of course), around Battery Park to the World Financial Center and Battery Park City, and then up the Westside Greenway to the West Village for a bumpy crosstown jaunt across the cobblestones. Despite the anacronistic street covering, the Westside in general knows how to take care of bikes. The paths are lovely, paved, and trimmed with parks, greenery, and terrific views of Hoboken and Jersey City. The Eastside on the other hand more less shouts: You wanna ride your bike, huh? Let’s see you try.

The new bike folds in half (yessir it does), so it fits nicely in the studio, so when it gets stolen (and it will, it’s only a matter of time), it won’t be here at home. But theft chances have also been cut drastically thanks to this massive beauty. 8.5lbs. of pearly steel, to wrap through anything and everything on the new toy, for those occasional trips to, say, purchase padded envelopes at Staples. You’ll need 20 minutes with a power saw to get through this chain—and the name says it all: New York … Fahgettaboutit.

In other transportation-related news, I’d very much like to be the one to tell you that when the City of New York decides it’s time to re-pave a street, they simply wait until the middle of the night, bring a squadron of tow trucks, tow all the cars parked on the sides of the street onto the sidewalk, re-pave, and then tow all the cars back. Scary in its simplicity, isn’t it? This fascinating tidbit brought to you by several sleepless nights filled with the dulcet tones of what I described above.