Penn Satire, Since 1899

Top 10 Reasons It's Great to be Greek

by Michelle Zimmerman

Top 10 Reasons It’s Great to Be Greek
(if you’re hot!!! OMG!)

1. Lineage Lovin’ isn’t considered incestual2. Theme parties…bringing back bat mitzvahs, the unitard, and plastic bags3. Your back’s always covered… but electrolysis and waxing are good options4. Keeping cable knit sweaters and UGGZ alive5. Endless supply of academic support at 1-215-LUV-COKE6. Holding annual clothing drives means we can get rid of last season’s Dolce and Louis to make room for this season’s!! I ♥♥♥ being philanthropic7. Great connections after you graduate, 1-215-LUV-COKE8. Our salads are big enough to last at last three days9. Partay!!!10. Part B