But that night, when you're in the sack with your guy, he doesn't notice you've upgraded from the cotton boy shorts that are usually your jam. Why? He's probably more interested in ripping them off of you, but here are some more possible explanations for his sartorial obliviousness:

His family was killed by a bra. Don't bring it up. He doesn't like to talk about it.

He has a prosthetic hand. And eyes.

The lingerie designer is his ex-girlfriend.

Or ex-boyfriend.

Or mom.

He is distracted because he is reading a book he's cleverly hid under your head. Put your head down. Feel that? That is Freedom by Jonathan Franzen.

Or because he is actually a retired vigilante superhero whom an old, cryptic man has just talked out of retirement to do ONE LAST JOB.

Or he forgot to send an email.

Or he wants pizza.

Or instead of putting on lingerie you accidentally wrapped small woodland creatures around your private parts, and he is currently attempting to pull an enthusiastic ferret off of his face. So... that's on you, actually.

__Q:__Anna! Hey, Anna! How do I get a guy to notice my sexy new lingerie?

__A:__Take a Sharpie and write "Marry me marry me marry me babies babies" all over your lingerie, and he is sure to notice it.

Do any of you ladies have a serious lingerie addiction? Is it for his benefit or yours? Squirrels!