How things look through an Oregonian's eyes

December 23, 2004

Collected Christmas Letters

[Note: all our Christmas letters, 1995 to 2017, are available below. I update this post annually with the newest creation.]

“A man’s soul is revealed through his Christmas letters,” it has been said (by me, just now). So I’ve decided to express my essential self this holiday season not by going downtown and volunteering at a soup kitchen, but by sitting at my laptop and converting my past holiday missives into PDF files that can be admired by the world. Or, at least, the few people who find them on this weblog.

Previously these Collected Christmas Letters of Brian Hines resided on my website, where, as I wrote about recently, they took a significant dive in search engine rankings after I fiddled with the content of a page. “What profiteth a man if his works are not looked on with favor by the great god Google?” I pondered. “Noneth at all,” came the reply from the divinity that I serve with such devotion—namely, my ego.

Thus I was led to pour the wine of my annual Brian, Laurel, and Serena (a.k.a. "The Wonder Dog") news summary into a new PDF bottle for easier reading, and to post these files on HinesSight where, hopefully, they will be more visible to those who might wish to study my oeuvre. I’ve reduced the size of some photos for a quicker download by those who, like me, have not yet been blessed with a broadband connection. To say what barely needs to be said, “get Acrobat Reader if you don’t have it already."

In the same way as the soul’s essence defies description, any attempt to summarize the theme of each wonderfully amusing and wise Christmas Letter in a few words is doomed to failure. Nonetheless, I have tried.

2018 Christmas Letter. The midterms give us the only present we need this year, DGTABT (Dems Giving Trump A Bad Time). Brian is told "You're otherwise healthy." But that otherwise is bothersome. An atheist discussion group continues; a book gets back into print; we look forward to magic mushrooms being legal here in Oregon.Download 2018 Christmas Letter PDF

2017 Christmas Letter. Brian wants a new bladder for Christmas, since his old one is shot, but manages to cope with some good friends: anti-depressant, pot, and wine. Laurel turns even more strongly atheist, though we're open to miracles (like Trump resigning).Download 2017 Christmas Letter PDF

2016 Christmas Letter. Serious depression strikes us, the only good news being that it came on only after November 8, which (surely not coincidentally) happened to be the day Trump was elected president. Since "post-truth" was the Word of the Year we take that to heart in the rest of our Holiday Greetings letter.Download 2016 Christmas Letter PDF

2015 Christmas Letter. Belatedly, we discover that every stage of life is an "awkward age." A musing on the joy of peeing in one's front yard and what this means for our retirement plans. We end with a poem that praises secular kindness.Download 2015 Christmas Letter PDF

2013 Christmas Letter. Ooh, ooh! So much to share. Our dog pees in the basement of Oregon's governor mansion. Brian carries on with longboard land paddling. We downsize to a stick lean-to in the central Oregon forest.Download 2013 Christmas Letter

2012 Christmas Letter. Us senior citizens refuse to grow old, in our own minds at least. Brian takes up skateboarding/longboarding. We do our best imitation of West Coast Swing dancers.Download 2012 Christmas Letter

2009 Christmas Letter. It was a disastrous year for us. We threw money into a hole in the ground (almost literally). Laurel got distressed by Brian's assisted suicide attempt, though I had a lot of fun with it. Download 2009 Christmas Letter

2008 Christmas Letter. We get into the holiday spirit with our usual fear and trembling. Turning 60, Brian notes his increasing resemblance to Willie Nelson. And his passionate love affair with a classy lady called "Mac."Download 2008 Christmas Letter

2006 Christmas Letter Brian ponders his incipient grandfatherness, a scary prospect. We also speak of dog walking, colonoscopies, Tango, land use activism, and why blogging is better than book writing.Download 2006_christmas_letter.pdf

2005 Christmas Letter It finally hits us: We're getting old! The ramifications of this astounding discovery are explored. Photos of us are bravely shared, along with images of a headless dog and a disturbingly youthful-looking daughter/son-in-law.Download christmas_letter_2005.pdf (778.0K)

Comments

Great site! You have a great selection of Christmas letters. I am trying to compose my first Xmas letter and after reading some of yours I have some good idea's on what to say and how to format my letter. Thanks for the tips! :-)
Denise in Alabama

Still reading through them, but good stuff! I will say that I don't particularly agree with your thoughts about pdf, though. I've never found it to be easier reading, and the program itself has always been far too slow for my tastes. Thanks for sharing them, though!