Kevin Love's Rookie of the Year campaign

Van Morrison made the job of cleaning windows an admirable task. And thank god Kevin Love's parents encouraged him to follow in the footsteps of the rock legend. Our amiable Rookie is a working man in his prime, cleaning windows.

That's why Love and the Timberwolves launched a Rookie of the Year campaign. They're promoting him as the best new product of 2008-2009. They got a point. His numbers are good. He leads all rookie in player efficiency rating, total offensive rebounds, and his points went up from 8.6 to start the year to 15.6 in March. Smooth 42, indeed.

Obviously, Love and his coaches listened to the advice we gave him way back in December. We told Love to put some Oregon back in his game. There is nothing like vegan-training, micro-brew swilling and chainsaw massacring to prep the body for the hard court. The only part he forgot was adding enough hazelnuts to his diet. They are wonderful for improving outside jumpers.

ESPN currently ranks Love as the fourth best rookie in his class. That is something to ignore. Celtics coach Doc Rivers thinks Love will become a monster in the NBA. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich says Love is a warrior. Beat writers say he is a throwback player with all-star potential. And this alt-weekly writer says he is the single greatest reason for children to watch the Timberwolves when they are not watching Crunch.

BREAKING: T-Wolves media point-man Mike Cristaldi just sent us this news: "I will be overnighting hazelnuts to him for tomorrow's game in Utah."