An Extremely Detailed Play-by-Play of Amy Winehouse's Major Breakdown in Belgrade

​One of the worst parts of being a celebrity is being constantly watched. See, a normal person at a normal party can get really wasted and almost no one will notice.

But when you're a celeb, there's no dancing with your head down. Or, there might be dancing with your head down, but thousands of people are going to watch you act like you're on the nod.

Example: Amy Winehouse was trashed on stage in Belgrade two nights ago and she has subsequently cancelled a bunch of tour dates. Of course, the 28-year-old singer is no stranger to hyper-public intoxication. But someone has to ask: Who the hell is letting her on stage in this condition?

See the cut for the video and an extremely detailed play-by-play of Amy Winehouse's major breakdown in Belgrade.

0:03 Amy trots out with her arms extended like a bird trying to balance itself while the crowd roars.

0:08 She embraces the saxophonist who responds like, "WTF?"

0:19 To great applause, Amy starts to stumble around. This is going to be bad.

0:26 And she's on the ground! The drummer and sax player can't believe this shit.

0:34 Amy softly pushes a band mate while the crowd keeps cheering her on. Maybe they don't get it?

0:40 Some people start to chant her name, as though more applause will put her in working order. They are confusing Amy Winehouse with Tinkerbell.

0:50 After spending a really long time with her back to the audience, Amy successfully unfastens her shoe and lazily tosses it.

1:05 Winehouse sits down again.

1:23 She approaches the mic as though she might actually sing and the crowd goes nuts. You can hear one guy saying, "Come on, come on, come on," like he's watching a sports spectacular. Also, Amy wipes her nose in a highly suspicious fashion.

1:28 The first blurt of an entire song's worth of highly unintelligible vocals.

1:55 Amy does a little shimmy that the crowd eats up like peons clammering for scraps of dog food from the plate of a Queen gone mad.

2:04 Some more arm inspection. Is Amy Winehouse tripping balls?

2:39 Winehouse mashes her mouth on the mic.

2:50 At this point in the song, there's a spoken breakdown and it's the most painful part of the entire performance. Amy's voice sounds like her tongue's soaked in molasses. It's a fittingly brutal crescendo.