Friday, August 26, 2005

Mos Definitely Gets Around, Trudie Gets Sloshed, Fez Gets Silly

Page Six is reporting that cutie patootie Mos Def is quite the ladies' man:

Multi-talented rapper/actor Mos Def is one busy dude. We hear the Brooklyn-born performer, whose real name is Dante Terrell Smith, has five children by five different women. But that's not all: The latest rumor is that the devout Muslim has two wives. One of Mos Def's many former flames tells PAGE SIX he married Wife No. 2 after knowing her for just a few days. A rep for the randy rhymer seemed to take the news in stride, but declined comment on the alleged multiple children and wives.

Is there anything Mos Def can't do? He was funny as hell on "Chappelle's Show," made your humble blogette cry like a tiny baby with his dramatic performance in "Something The Lord Made," raps, sings, probably tap dances, and somehow has time to make five babies with five different ladies and have two wives. Well-played, sir!

Although I must send out my heartfelt condolences to Friend of Felt Up Terri R., who I'm pretty sure would walk on hot coals to be Mos Def's third wife. There's still hope, Terri! Mr. Def obviously does not stand on ceremony. Or U.S. bigamy laws. Huzzah!

Mos with some ladies!

From Lloyd Groves' Lowdown column in the NY Daily News comes gleeful word that Sting's annoying wife Trudie Styler was so drunk that she had to be dragged out by her husband like a Sherpa short-roping a climber on Mount Everest:

That was Brit rocker Sting hauling his wife, Trudie Styler, out of Chelsea nightclub Bed the other night "over his shoulder like a fireman." A Lowdown spy reports the tantric-sex fans - whose 12-person entourage even included a couple of their offspring - appeared to be a little overserved. Sting's PR rep didn't respond to detailed messages by deadline.

Who am I to cast the first stone at Trudie Styler? We've all been there, right? Slung over Sting's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, passed out drunk in front of the kids? Am I right?

This picture does not have much to do with the price of tea in China, but Sting and Trudie do look rather silly.

And finally, the Mystery of Why Anyone Gives A Crap About Wilmer Valderrama deepens day by day. Serioulsy, how does this guy do it? From the Lowdown:

Hell hath no fury like a C-lister scorned. When "That '70s Show's" Wilmer Valderrama showed up at promoter Ashley Margolis' birthday party in the Hollywood Hills the other night, he cut and shunned Ashley Olsen - allegedly for refusing to go on a date with him a couple of weeks ago.

"Wilmer strode in with a posse of five guys who looked like a Latin boy band," reports a Lowdown spy. "He walked straight past the Olsens without so much as a nod ... Wilmer was doing his best 'blue steel' face. It was hard not to laugh."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Fez's publicist! What else are you supposed to say? It's not like you get paid to be truthful: "Why, yes, your spies are correct! Fez, I mean Wilmer, was making Zoolander's "Blue Steel" face at The Fat Olsen while surrounded by a Latin boy band! Thanks so much for noticing!"

Bleh. Somebody explain his career to me, please...And then make it go away!