Hi all
Am back from the Philippines and will give an update of the playing of the violin of the wedding when I get over the unexpected illness that I bought back with me

Am spending an inordinate amount of time on the ' Porcelain seat'.

In the meantime I'll leave you with this. Most of you folks just won't understand most of it, but I will answer any questions that you have

You know you are an Aussie when:

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have had a Treasurer called Wayne.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of ..... What was I saying????

Fiddlerman

Fort Lauderdale

April 25, 2014 - 6:44 am

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Ferret said
.........11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

LOL, I tried to pronounce it and couldn't really do it. Whaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt!!!!!!!

"The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least."

Barry

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April 25, 2014 - 7:26 am

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Fiddlerman said

Ferret said
.........11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

LOL, I tried to pronounce it and couldn't really do it. Whaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt!!!!!!!

Aus-Stray-ya

There is no shame in playing twinkle, youre playing Mozart

Ferret

Byron Bay Australia

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April 25, 2014 - 8:19 am

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Barry said

Fiddlerman said

Ferret said
.........11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

LOL, I tried to pronounce it and couldn't really do it. Whaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt!!!!!!!

Aus-Stray-ya

That's about it @Barry mate

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of ..... What was I saying????

Barry

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April 25, 2014 - 8:22 am

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May have to pack my fiddle and become an Aussie

There is no shame in playing twinkle, youre playing Mozart

Fiddlestix

Michigan, USA

King

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April 25, 2014 - 6:04 pm

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Austra-La

Welcome back, John (Ferret) Luck.
Hope it went well.

TerryT

Coleshill, Warwickshire

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April 25, 2014 - 6:39 pm

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Congrats on making it back Ferret. Not surprised you got the galloping trots though.
Thanks for.the Australianisms. Should help me.communicate with the barstaff here in the UK a lot better

I was born with nothing,
and to my surprise I still have most of it left!

Fiddlerman

Fort Lauderdale

April 25, 2014 - 7:33 pm

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh,

You replace the "li" with a y.... Now I get it.

"The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least."

coolpinkone

California, the place of my heart

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April 25, 2014 - 8:31 pm

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Feel Better soon John. I can wait to hear more of your performance!!! So excited and happy for you. Congrats on the Wedding!

I loved reading about being Australian, but most of it went straight above my head.

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Robyn.fnq

Queensland, Australia

Honorary tenured advisor

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April 25, 2014 - 11:58 pm

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I could argue with lots of what Ferret has said ... eg, Penrith is pronounced Penrith unless you're a bogan. Same for ugg boots in public (and bare feet for that matter).
One thing he did neglect to mention was that it's perfectly understandable, and expected, to stand on Anzac Day and openly cry in front of a crowd of strangers.
Of course, a coldie is mandatory.
On a lighter note ... it's customary for one to name one's first car/apartment/pub crawl bus 'Ralph' ...

If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're probably right.

Ferret

Byron Bay Australia

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April 28, 2014 - 3:25 am

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Robyn.fnq said

I could argue with lots of what Ferret has said ... eg, Penrith is pronounced Penrith unless you're a bogan. Same for ugg boots in public (and bare feet for that matter).
One thing he did neglect to mention was that it's perfectly understandable, and expected, to stand on Anzac Day and openly cry in front of a crowd of strangers.
Of course, a coldie is mandatory.
On a lighter note ... it's customary for one to name one's first car/apartment/pub crawl bus 'Ralph' ...

None of it meant to be taken seriously Robyn
And there are many 'different' ways to be Aussies without being a 'bogan'

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of ..... What was I saying????