Fat Acceptance: White, Thin, Hairless, Naked

I use Groupon and, for the most part, I like the service. I've had a chance to eat at restaurants I otherwise couldn't afford, I've been able to go to IMAX shows that I otherwise might not have seen, and I recently got a National Geographic Blu-ray movie for free which is obviously a major score. What I'm saying is, the service has added value to my life.
But I can't unsubscribe from certain types of Groupon notifications, like, for example, the "Health and Beauty" notifications, without automatically unsubscribing from all Groupon notifications which I don't actually want to do. Which means I routinely get stuff like this in my inbox:

GROUPON

Be Healthy

Up to 51% Off Beauty Injections

Up to 54% Off Threading Services

Up to 80% Off Laser Hair Removal

Up to 63% Off Haircare Package

Up to 48% Off Facials

Here is the thing, okay? Being "healthy" does not precludethese things. I want to make that very, very clear. I am not down on facials or hair removal or injections or plastic surgery. I will in fact delete any comments that are all GRR PLASTIC SURGERY because I refuse to shame or judge people who choose these things. To quote Aphra_Behn from Shakesville:

There are no perfect choices in the patriarchy, and some women's livelihood may literally depend on choosing plastic surgery, while for others it may be a part of their overall well-being. Others may not freely choose it, but are bullied or pressured into it, and it is not appropriate to shame them either.

Word.

The things in this Groupon email may be part of good health for someone on the Groupon mailing list. Certainly massages -- which were on this email but further down than my screen-capture would allow -- are part of my monthly back regimen. "Good health" is complex and unique and individualistic and cannot be easily boiled down into a short list of services that are healthy for all.

But. Here is the thing. Being "healthy" does not automatically includethese things either. "Beauty injections" would most certainly not be "healthy" for me. If I received hair threading treatments I would not, by virtue of receiving that service, be healthy or be more healthy than before. Attaching the command "Be Healthy" to a service offering facials is not, for me, healthy. At all. My individual health needs are not represented in this email campaign which claims -- on the face of it -- to be an email campaign dedicated to improving my health.

What is more distressing to me is that the pictures used here to convey "health" are distressingly uniform. They convey in the conglomerate that being healthy looks like a very specific thing. A healthy woman would appear to be white, thin, conventionally attractive, and visibly hairless with the exception of her head-hair and carefully shaped eyebrows. In four out of five healthy women, "health" is also represented by suggested nudity -- or at the very least, strapless tube tops that do not appear in the four photos.

I am white, but not thin. I am far from hairless; I have unruly curly hair that stands out all over my head and when I actually did get a Groupon for laser hair removal (because my legs get extremely painful ingrown hairs if ever a hair is cut or plucked, even by accident, and I'd hoped laser hair removal would fix this issue), my leg hair heartily laughed at the laser treatments and went on growing as before. My eyebrows are not shaped (leading to a super-fun incident during my last attempt at a pedicure as a birthday treat where the salon employees tried to up-sell me into an eyebrow wax by repeatedly pointing out how Hairy! and Unsightly! my natural eyebrows clearly are). I never wear tube tops, and am rarely photographed in the nude. Clearly, I do not conform to conventional USAian standards of attractiveness.

Just as clearly, however, I do not conform to conventional USAian standards of visible health.

There's a point that is frequently made in fat acceptance circles, that "health is not a moral imperative". The idea here is that even if being fat is unhealthy and even if there were steps that could be taken that would remove the fat permanently and without adverse health impacts, that still wouldn't mean that fat people have a moral obligation to stop being fat. We tend to understand this instinctively with other things; most of us do not overly concern ourselves with the fact that most professional sports and "active" hobbies contain serious health risks to the people involved, nor do many of us give up driving, biking, flying, or other forms of transport on the grounds that these things carry bodily risk. We tend to understand that most things carry risk of bodily harm and that the point in life isn't to wall ourselves off from all potential harm as a moral imperative over-riding all others.

Until we come to the issue of bodily appearance. And then suddenly health is a moral imperative, because the pursuit of "health" -- when "health" is White and Thin and Hairless and Naked -- is a very expensive and lucrative pursuit. One hundred dollars for beauty injections. Ten dollars for temporary hair removal; nearly two hundred dollars for hair removal that may (or may not, as the case may be for the individual) be more permanent. Twenty-five dollars for hair care that will need to be repeated a few months down the line; thirty dollars for face treatments that are equally short-lasting.

There's nothing wrong with buying these services. If they make you more healthy, or more happy, or if they add value to your life in any way, you shouldn't be shamed for pursuing them. (Indeed, I celebrate you for knowing what you want from life, for getting it, and for getting it in a way that keeps people gainfully employed. Go you!)

But these services don't make me healthy. They don't make me happy. These emails, in my inbox, remind me that the way I look isn't considered acceptable. That my failure to look a certain way indelibly and visibly marks me as unattractive, as unhealthy, as a moral failure in my society. I imagine that for at least some of the advertisers on this list, that may very well be the point. Shame is, after all, a powerful motivator when it comes to persuading people to part with their money. Penitent consumers buying indulgences in the form of hair threading and beauty injections would likely be extremely profitable to the right companies.

The last time I went to my back surgeon, he told me to "just join Weight Watchers" -- a For-Profit company -- in order to help with my persistent back pain. My dermatologist told me that she could tell "just by looking" that I have a genetic risk for diabetes and therefore I needed to radically change my eating habits (which were, of course, unknown to her but must be a steady stream of baby donuts, Because Fat). At work, I overhear my co-workers opine that optional public transportation across our megaplex parking lot would be bad for the fat employees who "need" the extra exercise, and that our bigger chairs mark the point at which the workforce suddenly "got fatter", with the implication that this is obviously a Very Bad Thing that should be corrected. In the past month, I've struggled to find bras that come in my size, and my mother has lamented the impossibility of finding cute teen clothes for my fat niece. I know from hard experience that I cannot buy adorable souvenir clothes on vacation, because the Hawaii and San Antonio shirts don't come in my size, any more than the Zero Punctuation shirts do (at least not in the female-cut shirts. The ones cut for the male clientele have XXL and XXXL, naturally) (also, do not get me started on "cut for female bodies" being called "baby" tee-shirts because we will be here all night listening to me rant).

I'm not a healthy person. I'm not healthy because I have a genetic tendency towards a twisted spine, and three corrective surgeries have failed to prevent me from being in a body where my entire back, neck, and shoulders hurt constantly no matter what I do or where I am. I'm not attractive because I have genetic tendencies towards a combination of fat, hair, and moles-freckles-and-skin tags that don't represent the conventional standards of beauty in my country. All this has been evident since, oh, sixth grade. It's something I've had a very long time to come to terms with.

But it's frustrating to me to constantly be told that I'm unhealthy not because of genetic factors that I had no say in and can't change, but because I'm not spending enough money on the right services. That if I just bought those beauty injections, then I could be both attractive and healthy. I'm not healthy. But it's not because I'm not buying beauty injections. It's because I live in a country that has shitty healthcare, shitty doctors, and shitty advertising that bombards us constantly and convinces people who should know better that health is just a matter of spending enough money on the right things.

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comments:

Why has Twilight become so much a part of me that I think one of the women in the photos is a vampire?

More on point, unless I'm sunburned (I don't tan, I burn) I'm likely to be the whitest person around and I live in what is (depending on how you count whiteness) either the whitest or second whitest state in the nation in terms of percent of population. These people are whiter than me.

It's not just white, it's really really damn white.

Off the topic of whiteness, remember that woman whose religion prohibited messing with the body thus resulted in her letting her facial hair grow out? I've got no problem with people not doing that, god knows the shit she has had to put up with including the public shaming on the internet (which she turned on its head to the point of getting an apology), and regardless of what others would do, people should be allowed to look how they want. But imagine if there were more women like that woman to the point that has facial hair =/= not-normal-woman.

What a world that would be to live in.

The beauty industry pushes conformity, and often conformity to standards that can't be met, requiring their customers to keep coming back for more. But it, at least in theory, doesn't have to be that way. There's no reason they have to say "Don't like this thing about yourself. You know that thing you now don't like? Pay us to get rid of it/fix it." They could say, "What do you like about yourself? You know that thing you like? Pay us to accentuate it."

But how to effect such a change is unknown to me.

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And yeah, conflating health with "Current standard of beauty pushed up to 11" is evil, as are other parts of that.

It doesn't help that #2 and #4 bear more than a passing resemblance to the actresses for Alice and Rosalie, respectively. (imho)

I did think of that awesome lady a few days ago, actually, when we were talking about constructive ways to deal with bullies other than setting rabid bears on them. I certainly don't think people have a moral obligation to respond the way she did (spoons, etc.) but I found her response to be incredibly amazingly impressive.

I agree with the majority of this except for one part. The bit about your living in a country with shitty healthcare and shitty doctors. You in fact live in a country with some of the best healthcare and doctors in the world, but many - in fact I believe the majority of - people in your country have no access to it. :(

We were recently visiting the US and my father fell ill with something that required major surgery which removed quite a lot of his innards after a major bowel obstruction. He received amazing care, but one of the very first questions my mother was asked was about insurance. We had very excellent travel insurance and thank the deities, because the surgery alone cost over $200,000US, not to mention the fact that we were stuck there for two weeks longer than we went for, with all the associated costs.

What if he had been a US citizen without insurance? Too bad, so sad, here is your certain death? Because without the surgery he would have died.

I also live in a country with some of the best healthcare and doctors in the world (Australia), and if say for example there was some kind of emergency and I ended up in an ER, nobody there would ask my family about my insurance cover before any treatment began.

I am constantly amazed by the willingness of the American people to accept the situation in your country. In fact some people think it is a great thing, and I am sure it may be if they enjoy excellent health by genetic accident and never require any kind of treatment - but what if they get cancer and don't have insurance? What if they are in a car accident? I don't understand how it all works. Do you go bankrupt, not get treated, what happens?

"Shitty healthcare" and "some of the best healthcare ... in the world" are not incompatible statements.

I have also, erm, written at length about my experiences as a person with chronic disability in my country, and I reserve the right to label my experiences with healthcare in general and my doctors in particular as "shitty".

I respect your own experiences, but I do ask that people here not police my words and tell me how I should/shouldn't frame my subjective experiences. Thank you. :)

but what if they get cancer and don't have insurance? What if they are in a car accident?

They don't think they will, so the possibility doesn't matter to them.

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I don't understand how it all works. Do you go bankrupt, not get treated, what happens?

Both. People go bankrupt because they put everything they had into paying for healthcare. People don't go to doctors when they know they should because they can't afford it so they just hope and pray that it's something that will go away on its own.

Also, ERs do not turn people away. At least not in theory. So if you're in a car accident and you lack both money and insurance then you've probably got better odds than the person with cancer who lacks both money and insurance. When it comes to rehabilitation car accident person is screwed, but when it comes to actual life saving, that's probably going to be taken care of in the ER so, at least in theory, their life stands a good chance of being saved.

Thing is, Shaniqua - our healthcare system can do an awesome job of taking care of the person with an acute condition. Not always, but if you get to the right hospital, and they figure out what's wrong with you, medical technology is *amazing*.

BUT.

Aside from your questions about "what about the uninsured" - short answer? Some of them go into massive debt, maybe declare bankruptcy. Some of them die because they didn't get life-saving treatment in time.

There's also the fact that the experience of everyday "doc, something seems wrong, why am I experiencing xxx" is often very, very different from that amazing lifesaving hospital surgery experience. My dad had surgery that pulled him back from the brink last year - his gallbladder had ruptured and the doc had to clean up all that nastiness. He's fully recovered. That doc saved his life! And yet. He'd been in that hospital for 4 days. They scheduled him for the 3rd surgery of the day. Because despite all the signs, they didn't think his gall-bladder surgery was urgent enough to rush the process of adjusting the levels of coumadin in his blood, and just gave him more morphine to keep him comfortable while waiting for the surgery. Had they rushed the process of cutting his blood-thinner, and put him into surgery 3 days earlier, that amazing surgery might have been a nearly-routine surgery.

And let's not even get started on the way he was treated for the next few days by the chief resident on the floor where he was recovering. (Short version, she refused to provide him a daily medication that he's been on for years for his arthritis, because she didn't "believe in it", and lied about calling his doctor to discuss that refusal.)

There's also the fact that the experience of everyday "doc, something seems wrong, why am I experiencing xxx" is often very, very different from that amazing lifesaving hospital surgery experience.

Yep. And different illnesses are treated differently, even when they are both serious and/or life-threatening. My dad's experience with cancer was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from my experience with scoliosis surgery. (For example? He didn't have nurses tell him that he was a big baby for asking for more pain medication and refuse to call his spouse when there was trouble because "your husband needs his sleep".)

The "right" diseases are treated very differently from the "wrong" ones.

"but what if they get cancer and don't have insurance? What if they are in a car accident?"

They don't think they will, so the possibility doesn't matter to them.

Well, if you're talking about the young invicibles, maybe.

But for me? I'd reached a point where I *needed* to get out of my job and get a new one, for various reasons. I finally gave notice on the old job before landing a new one. Just in time, I got an offer on a contract job that would last about a year. Cut in pay, no benefits. But hey, I needed a job.

So I started looking around for cheap insurance. My mom sent me a link to a high-deductible plan with reasonable premiums. I applied, and got denied. So I found another plan, with higher premiums that would have been pretty hard to pay. But I needed insurance just in case. I got turned down. I went hunting online and found a local insurance broker and called. He asked me a couple questions - name, address, that sort of thing. Then he asked if I'd had any pain or mental health prescriptions filled in the last 2 years. Well, yeah - I'd had a pain prescription maybe 18 months ago. Just one fill, no refills. Around that same time, I'd had one prescription for Wellbutrin filled. Again, no refills.

He *laughed* at me. Said that with either one of those, much less both, NO insurance company would insure me on the individual market. Then he pretty much hung up on me.

And so I was uninsured for about 2 years, before I finally got another permanent job that came with benefits.

Around that same time, I'd had one prescription for Wellbutrin filled. Again, no refills.

Which FILLS ME WITH RAGE, because I've had multiple doctors prescribe me Wellbutrin for multiple things. Wellbutrin is like the "aspirin" of medical doctors, it seems. I've been given that because it's supposed to help with pain, perk you up, make you need less sleep, make your teeth shiner*, etc.

"I am constantly amazed by the willingness of the American people to accept the situation in your country. In fact some people think it is a great thing, and I am sure it may be if they enjoy excellent health by genetic accident and never require any kind of treatment - but what if they get cancer and don't have insurance?"

As others have said, they go into debt. My husband, who has had Crohn's disease for over 11 years, was lucky to be on insurance when he had life-saving surgery, because if he hadn't, he A) might not have been able to get the surgery, and B) certainly wouldn't be able to afford the Remicade he gets to treat his condition, because insurance sure as hell would have labeled his Crohn's a "pre-existing condition". He has infusions every two months--and he has to have them in a timely fashion, or his body will reject the Remicade if it goes too long without it--and the bill is over $17,000. Every two months. The two of us combined don't make enough to cover that (and definitely not that AND basic necessities like housing and food), and sometimes the insurance company and the hospital bicker back and forth over sending info about whether he actually needs it (he's needed it for years; it's not a new thing, yet this comes up at least once a year). Add to the mix my husband's anxiety issues, and let's just say it's not fun. And we're the lucky ones with health insurance. It terrifies me to think how awful it is for people without it.

What gets me is my in-laws (who are otherwise lovely people) are willingly voting for a person who would happily do away with the protections Obamacare has provided us--my husband doesn't have to worry about running over a lifetime limit anymore(before, he was due to run out sometime in his early 70's, assuming no other health issues), he doesn't have to worry about a switch/change in healthcare suddenly labeling him with a non-covered pre-existing condition. They *know* how important Obamacare is, but apparently their unwillingness to vote for a man of color is greater than their willingness for their son to receive reasonable medical treatment without worrying about the insurance company yanking that away from him.

The people who think the current situation is good are generally ones who don't think that they will face [major medical problem] without insurance.

A lot of people are insured and they don't expect to become uninsured.

The thing about insurance through the workplace that a lot of people don't consider is that it can be a serious problem for someone in a job they don't like. My sister was stuck for years in a job that made her life hell because she needed the health insurance the bad job required. She simply could not leave.

I didn't have insurance when I was diagnosed with Crohn's, or when my intestines ruptured because of same. I had to declare bankruptcy to get rid of medical bills that were more than I'll probably make in my lifetime. (okay, maybe not that bad, but the hospital bill alone was 200K) If living with and being cared for by my parents hadn't been an option, though? I probably would've died. I was too ill to stand for the better part of a year before the whole intestines rupturing thing.

I struggle to pay for the medical supplies I now need, because disposable medical supplies aren't covered by insurance, but at least my current job gives me insurance. And for the moment I don't need to worry about the whole pre-existing condition thing.

That's awful. No one should have to go through that, ever. It's outrageous that it's as common as it is.

Our plan for if something ever does happen and he can't get the healthcare he needs here is to flee to France. I've experienced their healthcare (I was an uninsured student over there and had to deal with both dental and "regular" medical care), and it was awesome, especially compared to similar procedures here. It infuriates me whenever people in the US talk about how terrible "socialized medicine" is, because they clearly have no idea what it actually is.

Of course, not every system/doctor/etc. in France is great, and I have only my experiences to speak for. But I'll take paying 130 euros for 4 trips to the dentist for a painless root canal (and only paying after all treatment was completed--I had to see him that many times because there was an abscess to be dealt with first, and because the last was more of a "I want to make sure you're not having any pain from the procedure" checkup) over $750 for 2 trips for a painful root canal (half paid in advance), any day.

I should *not* have read the armoured/unarmoured open thread before this one. Now I keep getting this mixed up with Shadow over Innsmouth: "Frozen in horror, I watched from amongst the shadows as the horde of white, thin, hairless, naked creatures shambled past towards the shore of the pitch-black ocean."

"...just a matter of spending enough money on the right things" is very quickly, at least in the health insurance arena, becoming "just a matter of being forced to spend whatever money we tell you on the things we think are right, whether or not there is any scientific basis for them."

Enter the health insurance "incentive" model.

I am fat. This year, I have been informed that that is a Problem, and that for 2013 I must enroll in a "lifestyle management" program to discuss my fatness with a "counselor" and determine how to make myself not fat, or at least less fat. If I decide I don't want to enroll? Then my employer holds back part of the contribution to my HSA. If I enroll, but don't meet whatever "goal" the "counselor" decides to set for me? My employer will still hold back part of the contribution to my HSA, but a smaller portion than if I refused to play ball at all.

I will similarly be denied part of the HSA funding if I refuse to fill out what I think is a very personal and invasive health questionnaire. Oh, and my partner needs to do all of this as well. It's an all-or-nothing offer that is also time-bound, so we don't have that long to even think over whether we want to disclose this much information to an entity that is not an actual doctor of ours.

We're talking almost a thousand dollars here, which makes a big difference to us; that's a thousand dollars i don't have to come up with out of pocket to meet our astronomical deductibles, so I think "incentive" is really not a strong enough word for what's going on here.

I will similarly be denied part of the HSA funding if I refuse to fill out what I think is a very personal and invasive health questionnaire. Oh, and my partner needs to do all of this as well. It's an all-or-nothing offer that is also time-bound, so we don't have that long to even think over whether we want to disclose this much information to an entity that is not an actual doctor of ours.

Oh, now THAT really stinks. At least for us, the health & wellness incentives look more like a true incentive (in the form of a cash card), even though the rational part of me knows I'm just getting back a part of the premium I paid... And it's a smaller amount of money at stake.

When my son was institutionalized temporarily for mental health issues, the insurance company decided to authorize only a week at a time.

It became apparent fairly quickly that this was having a BIG negative impact on his treatment, because they were treating him as if he might be discharged each week, so they had to avoid upsetting him so much he couldn't immediately go home. One clinician even talked with me, off the record, about whether the best thing I could do for my son would be to prompt some kind of massive breakdown that would force the insurance company to authorize longer-term care.

After seven weeks insurance decided, unilaterally, to stop paying. We paid out of pocket long enough for them to handle the transition slightly intelligently.

It's a nightmare. But it's not one-tenth the nightmare it could be without the ACA. Both my son and my husband have blatant pre-existing conditions. If I lose my job, which is moderately likely right now, they would neither of them ever have gotten insurance again. Which would mean disabling rheumatoid arthritis for my husband--we saw what the early stages of that look like, before they hit on a working treatment--and no recourse but jail if my son's mental health issues get out of control again.

People who dismiss the ACA incite me to violence. They are literally wishing for my family members to be crippled, jailed, or dead.

I am fat. This year, I have been informed that that is a Problem, and that for 2013 I must enroll in a "lifestyle management" program to discuss my fatness with a "counselor" and determine how to make myself not fat, or at least less fat. If I decide I don't want to enroll? Then my employer holds back part of the contribution to my HSA. If I enroll, but don't meet whatever "goal" the "counselor" decides to set for me? My employer will still hold back part of the contribution to my HSA, but a smaller portion than if I refused to play ball at all.

Jesus WEPT.

I'm fat, and 45, and my local NHS region has started trying everyone over 45 to go see the GP for a triannual health check, so earlier this year I got an appointment. (It was with the nurse practitioner for the practice, which I thought would be a Good Thing, because generally I get along better with nurses than with doctors. NOT THIS ONE.)

I was OK with the nurse measuring my waist and notifying me solemnly that belly fat is Not Good. (I mean, I didn't agree with her, but yes, this is a scientific and verifiable Fact about me: I have a fat belly. I'm okay with medical practitioners telling me the bleedin' obvious. In fact, I think that's a good habit for them, because sometimes the bleedin' obvious to a medical practitioner is not that obvious to a lay person.)

She started telling me about the dangers of high blood pressure while she was doing the test. I waited serenely, because I knew she was about to discover that I don't have high blood pressure: I have low to normal blood pressure. (She started saying "For example," in a rather awkward kind of way when she found this out, as if she had just been telling me about high blood pressure for the sake of conversation.)

Then she took blood for testing, explaining that this was to check for diabetes, high cholesterol levels, and various other things. I was fine with that, too: I have a family history of diabetes that reads like a Series Of Unfortunate Events, and I've come to terms with the fact that, if I live long enough, I am quite likely to become diabetic before I die no matter how well I practice Diet And Exercise. Taking bloods to confirm my baseline normal, years - hopefully, decades - before I'm likely to become diabetic, is excellent: when the nurse started trying to explain to me in little words what "baseline normal" means, I explained it back to her.

She told me that the tests would take a week or two to get back from the labs, that if they indicated anything that I should know about (incipient diabetes, for example) they'd give me a call. Then she started explaining to me why high cholesterol is bad, and gave me several leaflets on improving my diet, which tended to recommend lean meat and more fish. I explained I was vegetarian, and she told me earnestly that too much cheese wasn't good. (I don't eat that much cheese, but I'll let her off that one: most times the "Vegetarian option" on a menu is cheesy.) Then she warned me again about high cholesterol. Then, eventually, she let me go. It was... annoying.

I don't (obviously) know exactly what my cholesterol levels are, but I'm willing to bet that my diet is such that they're probably lower than hers. I am quite sure that if that nurse had had the power to enroll me in a "lifestyle management" programme to "make" me become less fat / not fat, she'd have done it.

I was lucky enough to experience socialized medicine in Japan, and I thought it was a great experience after going without insurance since I was dropped from my parents insurance. I had no issues. I have no idea why people are so against it beyond the insurance lobbyists really doing a great job. I live in terror that I'll get sick.

I’ve never had a massage. It has been drilled into me over and over that my body is disgusting, that my body is not something anyone would want to touch, so that now I feel guilty for forcing professionals to touch me. This is, not incidentally, why I’m not pursuing further treatment of an ongoing medical condition. I don’t mind my body, as such, but I know that other people do. It seems monstrous to force myself on doctors and nurses who certainly have better things to do.

I am constantly amazed by the willingness of the American people to accept the situation in your country.

Two points about the US right wing:

1) A substantial portion of people here do not believe health care (or food, or shelter, etc) to be a right. They have no problem with generous rich people choosing to set up charity hospitals or paying for some photogenic kid's surgery, but the idea that they have some sort of obligation to pay for someone else'e lifesaving surgery whether they want to or not is anathema.

2) One of the Big Lies that the right has been promulgating for many years is the notion that in countries with "socialized medicine", you have to wait forever and a day to get the treatment you need, and by the time your turn comes up you may already be dead. I once happened to be in a voice chat with a fellow who was expounding on this point, unaware that yet another person in the chat was in fact Canadian - things went downhill fast, and ended with that's my opinion, man, I have a right to my opinion-SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T TELL ME MY FRIEND HAD TO WAIT FOR CANCER TREATMENT WHEN I KNOW HE DIDN'T.

Also, one of the most reliable voting blocs in this country is the elderly, and they've already got socialized medicine in the form of the Medicare program. Which still isn't up to par with the NHS or the Canadian system, because Medicare has some fairly substantial copays and deductibles, and only pays 80% of most medical bills, which means any senior who expects to need anything expensive done should really buy some private insurance to supplement it. And their main options are (a) spend $100+ a month on a supplement that takes care of Medicare's 20%/copays/etc, or (b) spend much less and replace their regular Medicare with a "Medicare Advantage plan", which is a private insurance plan that gets massive government subsidies and is required by law to cover everything Medicare covers - but frequently these plans have their copays structured in such a way that anyone who needs any serious medical care will still pay quite a bit. To give you an idea of the costs one can still run up with these - Obama's health care reform put in a new regulation requiring Advantage plans to have an annual cost limit of $6,700 (or less). Mind you, that's a limit on how much the individual can be required to pay out-of-pocket for covered medical expenses in one year, but it doesn't count premiums or prescription drug costs. And there was no such limit before Obamacare.

(My current job involves talking to seniors about their Medicare options. Being complained at by old people who don't like their options of high premiums/full coverage and low premiums/high copays is a routine part of my day.)

I wonder how we got to "beauty" conflated with "health". Yes, in historical senses, people who were sick with some very deadly diseases had visible signs and scars and markings, but in our modern society, assuming you have relative wealth and privilege, the things that tend to kill the most don't leave outwardly physical signs (cancer and its treatment excepted, perhaps). Just seems odd to me. And then, of course, one can do down the track of eating disorders and other dysmorphias where people are chasing beauty (and often getting it) to the detriment of their health...

...then again, I don't really understand why women's clothing manufacturers won't just label their clothes with the dimensions of the women the clothes are supposed to fit, either.

I’ve never had a massage. It has been drilled into me over and over that my body is disgusting, that my body is not something anyone would want to touch, so that now I feel guilty for forcing professionals to touch me. This is, not incidentally, why I’m not pursuing further treatment of an ongoing medical condition. I don’t mind my body, as such, but I know that other people do. It seems monstrous to force myself on doctors and nurses who certainly have better things to do.

This kept me from getting a massage for YEARS. And then I finally decided that a good massage therapist could afford to say "no thanks, my client list is full" and a massage therapist that needs the money would probably rather a fat client than no income...

I tried a few of the coupons off Groupon and Living Social, and found a place I liked (a storefront franchise with an atmosphere I liked). I've had several massage therapists there (go through a couple of them, find someone I really like, and a few months later they move on to work somewhere else). During that time, I've had at least two of them tell me that yes, they do in fact do their best to pass on clients they don't feel comfortable working with - in both cases, they were talking about personality clashes, NOT a dislike of working with certain body types.

I'm sure there are massage therapists who would dread me as a client. But there are plenty who are more concerned about a pleasant person who tips them... ;-)

The reason I'm in university right now is that it's paying for my mental healthcare. (But not my medications, we're trying to keep costs low but it adds up.) I could get a subsidized student loan to stay around another year, thus another year of treatment, and some good education out of the deal.

If we haven't worked things out well enough for me to join the workforce by schoolyear's end I'll see if there are more classes I can take, and see if I can get another student loan. I don't want to get deeper in debt, but for the first time in... ever the treatment seems to be working, so I definitely need to keep it up. Without the university to pay for my visits with a psychologist and psychiatrist I'd have nothing.

That's where I'm at healthcare wise, I've reached the point where people are asking if I'm a teacher or a student. I could have graduated with one major four years ago. I could have graduated with two majors two years ago, last year I stuck around because there were some infrequently offered classes finally being offered and I wanted to take them. This year I'm there for one reason: Healthcare. Everything else is incidental. Some of it is pretty damn good incidental stuff (provided the motivation to translate the Universal Lord's Prayer into a Latin version*, which I've been thinking about doing for ages but never before was able to do**) but it's incidental. I'm there for the healthcare. Because I need it and I've got nowhere else to go.

On the one hand, things finally seem to be moving toward the better, on the other, this is never the way things should have been.

There is no doubt that society benefits more from me being healthy than me with debilitating depression (cooccurring with other problems that the depression was bad enough to mask), getting me healthy is a net gain. It means one more taxpayer and one less foodstamp recipient. It means more revenue and less expenses. It makes money and saves money at the same damn time.

Why the hell anyone would think that isn't the in government's best interest is beyond me.

-

* "whachamacallit" proved much easier to translate than "jazz".

** Now if I can just get someone to do a Gregorian Chant version of it.

My apologies, I misinterpreted you. I thought you were saying that all doctors in the US were shitty. I didn't know to read between the lines and know you were just talking about the ones you have experienced.

This is one reason why I lurk here and rarely comment. Again, I'm sorry.

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