Updating wills now DC are over 18

We've done several wills over the years. First when DC were babies and the grandparents were fit and well. Then again as GPs got older and were no longer able to be either guardians or executors.Last time we did them when DC were 14 / 16 and set up staged trusts.Now they are sensible adults I want to simplify things.

My feeling is that you can't put conditions on an inheritance but DH however has a niggling worry that a DC's partner could end up benefiting if they should separate or divorce. (neither is married atm).Will be seeing solicitor but wondered if anyone had thoughts on this?

How much older are they than 18? eg by age 28 I think you probably have to accept you can't control for all eventualities, and yes a divorcing dp might benefit.

But if the dc are still just 18 and 20, for instance, I would think about trusts until they are 23, or 25 maybe? Although I am not sure trusts protect money from a divorcing spouse, do they? but they might at least prevent it being 'invested' in a not very wise way, or just spent on booze.

I do have some sympathy with your dh - another concern is someone marrying them for (not that much!) money - Washington Square type thing. But as I say ultimately we may have to accept that we can't control the future...

RandomMess DH is 67 and I am 58 and it would be a sizeable amount. They are 18 and 21. I think the current trusts control fund until they are 25. It just seems an unnecessary complication. Hopefully we'll both be around for a few years. These things are for worst case scenario when both parents die.

18 is quite young to inherit a large amount - however sensible they seem! I don't think it would be a bad idea to have a trust at least until 21, perhaps longer. (I know 25 seems to be usual.). On the other hand i do agree with you that it's a complication and you have to be happy with the designated trustees and so on, so i understand your reasoning.

Yes to financial powers of attorney though (if you dont already have them). thread the other day where no poa is in place for the mil, and they will have to go to court to get an order. Its not just dementia you have to think about, when you do at least get some warning and time to put it in place - stroke/accident etc can leave someone without capacity with no warning at all.

Thanks all. I have just recently set up LPAs for us both with DC as attorneys as well as each other.Randomess I know it may all be spent. Equally they may well be much older by the time we both die, but the point of wills is to smooth the path if the unexpected happens. Ciutadella You hit the nail on the head there, part of my reason for wanting to change wills is that I would prefer not to have trustees. Not that they are incapable or untrustworthy but just that DC1 could handle it now.

Exactly wex, you're making a will now for what you want to happen if it becomes relevant very soon (sorry, morbid!). Plenty of time to change it when things change and all the money's gone on carehome fees.

A 21 year old could handle it, but I would be worried that they would do something dramatic with it, particularly as in this scenario it would be hugely stressful and awful for them anyway. 25 does seem much older somehow.

The one thing I would not do is make dc1 trustee for dc2 - lots of scope for falling out in that situation. (I know you're not suggesting it, but it was one thing we mulled over and decided would be asking for discord!)

V impressed you've already done the lpas - there does seem to be more awareness these days. Strangely it is actually more complicated than making a will - need for the person to certify you understand it and so on, whereas there's no such protection re wills.

OP, depending on the size of the estate I normally suggest 21 as an appropriate age for inheriting. The older you leave it the more tax is potentially payable, and the higher the risk of the adult child getting fed up of waiting and making an application to the court for the money to be released earlier, the costs of which are only going to reduce the value of the estate.

For that reason I rarely advise that the final payment should be much later than the child's 25th birthday.

Have you thought about staged payments? When I'm writing wills in relatively big money cases, I often suggest 10% or so at 21 and the balance at 25.

LPAs are certainly something to think about. Most of my LPA clients are 55+ but I am seeing an increasing number of younger people who see it is a sensible "insurance policy" against something happening such as an accident or stroke which could cause a loss of capacity.

mumblechum thanks (by the way I remember you from teenager topic many moons ago!) . I've just had a look and we did stage it at 10% aged 21 and the remaining 90% aged 24. This seems to fit with yours and ciutadella's advice. I hadn't thought about the potential issue of DC1 being trustee for DC2.Maybe we should leave them alone for another couple of years, especially if there is no easy way round the partner getting the money scenario.

As for the LPAs. After my father died and I did his estate, my mother became ill. I did LPAs for her. I recently saw an article by Martin Lewis on the 3 Ds - divorce, death and dementia. He recommends everyone do LPAs. Just in case. It costs £110 to register LPA and is dead easy to DIY. I set them up for us both.

Coincidentally there is an article in the news today that about a third of pensioners are reluctant to leave money to adult dcs because of the divorce scenario - hence some end up leaving it to gc instead. (Though they also may get divorced, but at least you've spread the loola a bit more widely!) So your dh is not alone in his concern.

Wex interesting that you DIYd your LPAs. We got a solicitor to do the certification that we understood what we were doing (were seeing him about other things at the same time, so it wasn't too much extra expense) - there were some other people I could have asked but didn't want the hassle.

Mumblechum the phased payment idea is a very good one - I hadn't thought of that. Also good point about the tax implications - obviously a few considerations to be balanced out there.

Wex - I am guessing you have already addressed this, but maybe just review who the trustees would be, and whether there would be any high costs (eg if a solicitor is the trustee), as that would reduce the inheritences.

My DC inherited 2 years ago from a cousin of mine. DS got his when he was just 18! Fortunately he is v sensible and with our guidance is drip feeding it into a S&S ISA, with pots of money in 1/2/3 yr accounts to feed this.

DD is 16.5, and was the only one of 9 beneficiaries under 18. Since the solicitors were executors, they also became trustees, but fortunately they asked DH and I to take over that role. It took from Feb (when estate was finalised) to Nov to get the transfer sorted (crap solicitors!) and in that time they took a reasonable amount in fees, plus also took some of the final lump sum to set up the 'trust' account within their accounting system.

DH and I can afford to cover the deductions so DD doesnt lose out, but I dread to think what the costs would have been if the money had stayed with the solicitors for another 18mths till she turns 18.

We have put 23 on our own wills, with DC as executors at 18, plus SIL, so if anything happens to us whilst they still young, SIL would hopefully manage the trusts until they are old enough to manage the money.

There are a lot of comments on DC not being able to manage money at 18, which I can understand. However, in my DC case, the inheritence was a surprise and my cousin didnt know them well enough to realise they could inherit young (altho his solictor was at fault I think for not advising a minimum age in his will).

Our situation is slightly different to DC inheriting from parents, as we still alive, but we have used it as a springboard for much talking about money, investments, not wasting it, house deposits etc. Hopefully they will therefore be more savvy when older than their friends, as they are learning how to manage money early.