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Things can change in an instant.Our baby boy was born Nov 9 at 10:35. He weighed 7 pounds and 13 ounces. He arrived three weeks early. But appeared to have enough poundage for a safe delivery.He arrived with quite a healthy cry. His healthy cry gave everyone a sigh of relief. We were thrilled to hear those healthy sounds. Eric stayed with him while the doctor finished my surgery.We would all meet up in the recovery room.When I was wheeled in to the recovery room, no one was there.I was told Eli had to be taken to the special care nursery because he had started grunting to get the fluid out of his lungs.Everyone remained positive.After an hour the nurses came back to explain he was not absorbing the oxygen he was receiving and they bumped his intake. Eventually they would put him on a cpap.He was taken to the NICU.By the end of the night he was put on a ventilator.Things can change in an instant.That night he was monitored and it appeared he was going to be able to be weaned off the ve…

Eli's numbers, machines, blood gases, pulse ox and oxygen rate have had no change.We have been told this is a good thing. While there have been no major improvements...there have been no further deteriorations. This is how we get closer to stable. The long term goal is to get him stable and then eventually wean him off his numerous medications and machines.But for now, we focus on the fact that his information stayed the same throughout the night. It is difficult to see him like this. Every time we visit him we want to scoop him up into our arms. It is impossible to believe that I have yet to hold my baby. But I know he is where he needs to be. Those machines are tiny miracles.The nitric oxide is our miracle. We have even heard the NICU nurses refer to Eli as The Nitric Baby. So far it appears as though the nitric is working to relax his artery.Our happiest moment came early this morning when we learned they had decided to start giving him small feeds of breast milk. We would lik…

Today I am being discharged from the hospital. Today we are going home without our baby. This is the hardest thing we have ever had to do. We take comfort knowing that Eli continues to get exceptional care and in knowing that we will be calling the NICU every 30 seconds.Eli's numbers have remained the same which is good. In fact, it means the doctors were ready to start weaning various medicines.Last night they began slowly weaning the two blood pressure medications. By this afternoon he is off the blood pressure medications.They also decided to start weaning the nitric oxide. His level was at 20 and they began taking down the level by one every hour. At midnight he was at level 18 and the weaning was going well. By 6 a.m. however his blood gas came back and they decided to go back to the nitric level of 20.This is the NICU roller coaster. The one step forward one step back dance.Because this afternoon they wanted to try weaning the nitric again. His level has been taken down to…