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Monday, July 31, 2006

Death is synonymous with decease, destruction and end. Basically anything that spells bad is synonymous with death. I guess that is why people feel grief and sorrow when their loved ones anyone passes away. In my lifetime I have attended two funerals and have known about two other demise in my community. One of which was the recent drowning of a 34 year old businessman in the UTM lake (I couldn't find any reports of it on the internet, do I smell a 'cover up'?)

The entire campus was mortified. The phrase "I can't believe someone just died here" was reiterated all over the hostel cafeteria like a sad fading echo. Fading because we all very well know that after 2 days later, nobody would even care to mention about the incident anymore.

Just like road accidents, death is just be a quick reminder that it could happen to you. You slow down to take a quick look at the wreckage while you moan and grief for a short period. And sure enough, you're back doing 160 on the highway. At least they slowed down. It's better than being that guy you see SPEEDING BY the road accident, that's me.

Even after visiting the lake that was surrounded by hundreds of undergrads and rescue teams, I felt nothing. Even when Normie told me that they managed to recover the drowned corpse while the parents all broke down and cried profusely, I felt absolutely nothing. Death besides being frightening and unwelcomed, is also inevitable.

The word "inevitable" is what's gunned to my head. When someone dies, it's as if death is informing me that it's just doing its job and tells me to run along to live my OWN life to the fullest. Worst of all, it also tells me to ignore it (death) because the only thing mourning does is slow me down.

That is why I could never express any sincere feeling of condolence. That is why I used the words, "I guess" in the first paragraph of this post. That is why Sewjin needs a soul.

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comments:

hey, you are not that evil lar. different people react differently. I guess it's just the way you see it. I only mourn if the deceased is someone I really love and care for. If it's someone else I don't think I'll really mourn. Well, death to me is a gift as well. I think it's an award after you finish your task on earth. Take care. Don't think too much ;)

We feel remorse because we dread the loss of someone around us. It's natural, but strong people get over it soon, and the fact that its inevitable really gives us no reason to think too much about it, since its... well... inevitable.

I had a similar feeling when I watched the news today morning - about all those kids dying in Lebanon. It's sad but kind of far away. I wonder what it would feel like if it was here in Malaysia and they were my own kids. I would go mad.