Thursday, March 4, 2010

New Month, New State of Mind.

Though I still miss Rufus every single day - and even though I have to continually explain to Emily that he can't come home - but he's still with us in our hearts, it hurts a little less today, than it did yesterday.

It's getting - not easier - but ... easier, I suppose ... There are days when I feel the pain, more than anything else, there are days when I still think I hear him, or see him, or feel him sitting on the bed, or couch, or even laying on my chest - where he used to sleep. He will always be my baby. Always. And there will always be a hole in my heart where he belongs. However, the pain is easing, and I have been thinking of him in positive ways - not just that he's gone and won't come back.

Thanks to my very fantabulous friend Jessi, I have the book "The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Library)" by Pema Chodron.

I have been reading it each night, and to say it makes sense, and it's helpful is one of the biggest understatements of the universe.

I cannot thank you enough Jessi, for all you've done, and continue to do for me.