Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Hate Telemarketers

hate

verb (used with object)

1.

to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate stupid people who call people during supper time to try and sell something.

I feel extreme hostility towards them. I hate telemarketers with a passion. I detest them. The good news is, that starting today The CRTC has started a “Do Not Call List” where you can register your phone number, and within 31 days you should no longer be disturbed by these “people”. It’s a good day, the ongoing war on stupidity just allowed for a notch on the side of sanity.

Tell them Alex sent you and you’ll get 2% off prime on your next Citibank Credit card already pre-approved in your name and waiting with a gazillion dollar limit which can be used on the cruise you won for being the one millionth website visitor. Of course you’ll have to first stay at one of our fantastic international time share destinations and listen to a presentation by one of our high pressure sales associates, featured in a swim suit on the 13th page of a complimentary Calgary Sun subscription which they will just deliver to your door for you every morning, which you can cancel at any time, however if you don’t cancel you will back charged to 10 years, but don’t worry to much about that cause we will provide you with a credit risk report free for one year which will tell you when things like this can happen. We’ll just need your credit card for age verification, and so we know the address of we can send you a DustGhost 3000 that not only vacuums your carpets but removes the evil spirits from your house.

Part of me is happy about this registry (I just registered 2 numbers). The other part of me is expecting this to drive companies back to the olden days where people came by your house to solicit you. Maybe I can dust off my ambitions of being a door to door sales guy for the DustGhost 3000.

I like telemarketers. You can have fun with them....First question I always ask a female caller is what they are wearing. It goes on from there......I ask male callers if calling and annoying fine folks is an empowering experience when they feel inadaquate in all other areas of life. I get hung up on a lot..

First of all, Jack - you need to come out from behind your anonymity ;). Second, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that little icon in the corner of your blog, Alex. I don't necessarily think of myself as your follower...I like to think it's the other way round ;) But alas, I am a faithful reader. As I am to all you other familiar bloggers.And third, this take-your-name-off-the-call-list thing isn't that great, is it? I hear charities are exempt as are banks who have business with you (those pesky "courtesy" calls)...those guys make up more than half of my "dinner-interuptus" calls.