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PANAMAMA

At 45 years old, Philip Thompson had had it. His number one focus
in his entire adult life had been to find a woman with whom he was
compatible. Living in the United States, he had failed miserably at
this and continually come up empty.

When Philip was a young man, he never understood why girls had
such an arrogant, turned off attitude toward him. He was a nice guy?
He wasn’t the most handsome guy on the planet, but he wasn’t
ugly either. He couldn’t understand why girls universally ignored
him or treated him so badly. That hurt him deeply. He didn’t
realize until much later, that this was because of the history of
the country he lived in, and that women, in other countries, would
treat him very differently.

At the time though, it just seemed like all females were just
universally mean to him. He knew he was a sweet guy, and didn’t
deserve that. So why? He also realized he was in big trouble early
on, because he knew he really needed women. This worried him
constantly. The hurt from these repetitive rejections finally pushed
him to a place where he just stopped trying to meet new women.

Later, as he grew older, he began to understand. Because of their
own adverse treatment in the early days of the country, there was a
backlash from women in general. He understood that the “women’s
movement” had its aggressive and militant side, and that their
philosophy was to “men bash” at every possible moment. Although
he understood this as an “expected reaction” from earlier wrongs
done to women by men, he hoped that it wouldn’t last for his
entire lifetime and permeate, as it had, into every nook and cranny
of U.S. society.

He also deeply hoped that women would eventually realize that he
had nothing to do with those earlier injustices and therefore
shouldn’t be held personally accountable for them. None of these
hopes had been realized and the country’s “men bashing
philosophy” had not only remained but had escalated at a most
alarming pace.

Being of above average intelligence, Philip knew that the popular
notion this was just “payback” for all the years women had been
held back by earlier generations, was as wrong as the initial
wrongdoings themselves. This cycle of anger needed to stop, and
since the cycle was in the phase of female domination, he had always
hoped that the women would see it’s harm and rise the occasion. He
hoped that men and women could finally learn, not only how to
understand each other within relationships, but actually help and
support each other to extract the best from what was naturally
within both genders.

But every woman he had ever known couldn’t stand it or even
contemplate the thought that their man might be attracted to or find
another woman beautiful. And he knew, as did all men, that men were
hardwired to be exactly that way. He was certain that for a
successful relationship, men and women had to somehow accept each
other as is, and stop trying to change the other gender into
something it was not. But it hadn’t happened and, unlike the
droves of the other unhappy men that now chose to just “grin and
bear it”, Philip had decided to do something about it because it
was just plain wrong.

Philip was leaving the country for good. Some of his friends had
said he was crazy because the U.S. has the highest standard of
living in the world etc. Philip knew better. No standard of living
was worth sacrificing the basic, God intended, interaction between
men and women.

One other thing had happened to him as a result of all that
rejection. The years of game playing and manipulation had reduced
his natural desire for women to almost nothing. This in itself had
driven him inward, back to the only time in his memory when every
interaction he had with a woman had been perfect.

The only time he had been truly loved by a female was back when
he was a baby. He relived his feelings from those beautiful,
peaceful days often. And he had all the “things” that helped him
recapture those moments. At 45 years old, he had a grand supply of
pacifiers, bottles, diapers, plastic pants, powder, lotion, and big
baby clothing. . .anything and everything that would help him be in
that moment again.

After many trips to Latin America, Philip had realized that, when
it came to gender relations, Latin Americans did it a whole lot
better. He had given the U.S. his best shot for his entire life.
That was enough. It was time for a change. He was leaving. . .for
good.

Philip had visited many Latin American countries, but his
favorite had always been Panama. Why? He didn’t really know. But
it definitely had something to do with the way the women had always
treated him there. He, like all men who visited Latin America,
sensed it immediately. The women were warm, friendly, and without
suspicion. Every time he visited, it was an indescribable peace to
have his most basic needs, that had been denied throughout his life,
met so easily. He never thought about what he was giving up in Latin
America, only about what he gained. . .so much love, and so much
natural beauty.

Panama’s interior is mostly steep, rugged mountains, and
coastal areas that are largely plains and rolling hills. Also, there
is the tropical rain forest. Panamas has the most strategic location
on the eastern end of the isthmus, forming a land bridge connecting
North and South America. Panama is an important country and always
would be. It controls one of the most important and strategic
structures in the world - The Panama Canal that links the Atlantic
Ocean with the Pacific.

Philip knew where he liked to stay when there, and he thought,
“What better place to start out while looking for a permanent
residence. . .Avenida Central in the old San Felipe district?” “Casco
Viejo, or Old Town,” as it was known locally. This is the point
when you first come “around the horn” from the Pacific and head
into the inlet that becomes the Panama Canal. There you will see the
oldest part of Panama City, “Casco Viejo.”

Philip loved it there because the old district of San Felipe is a
colonial treasure, with many historical buildings and churches
including the 17th-century Metropolitan Church, the Plaza de
Bolívar, the Presidential Palace and more. But mostly he just
enjoyed the attitude of the Panamanians themselves, and the way they
always welcomed him as if he were one of their own. He knew he
looked different, talked different, and acted different, but these
beautiful people never seemed to care.

Hotel Colon, is a beautiful, small, romantic, local hotel. It
sits on a hill overlooking the city and the opening of the canal. It
is not opulent but small and quiet, with the sound of the trickling
waters constantly dripping from it’s fountains that irrigate the
crawling shrubs and dangling vines that dip into the tiny swimming
pool. There is an open rooftop bar, simple yet clean. A place to
relax while watching either the storms blow in over the Canal, or
the beautiful sunsets. A very romantic spot and one where thoughts
of wasted moments in the complicated rat race of life can be mulled
at length because you have left them so far, far behind and removed
from your inner self. “It’s possible to live magnificently here,
without possessing any ‘things’ at all.” Philip had thought.

This beautiful hotel was not usually full, it was just an
undiscovered diamond. Philip had no idea how it’s owners would
react to his request to live there, in the hotel, for an indefinite
period of time, But happily, like most questions asked in Latin
America, the answer had been a yes, and was accompanied by a
sincere, pleasant smile.

As Philip opened his eyes the morning after his first night
there, the light coming from the large window that looked out onto
the street, sent a peaceful glow into his room. The street sounds
were so different from anything you ever heard in the United States.
He just laid there a while and bathed his psyche in its simplicity.

Yesterday, when he had arrived, he was certain that the customs
inspector was going to open his luggage and hold up a pair of his
babyish, plastic pants for all to see, and, much to his great
embarrassment, ask him loudly, “WELL WHAT ARE ALL THESE BABY
THINGS FOR?” But of course that hadn’t happened. In fact they
hadn’t even stopped him and he had sailed through customs and
immigrations, outside to a waiting taxi.

So here he was and he had everything he needed. With the internet
in the hotel, he could go downstairs, access his bank accounts, pay
his bills, withdraw his money etc. He really didn’t need all those
material things. But, he did know he really needed one thing in
particular. He needed the immediate company of a woman.

Because of his conditioning from the many years of his past, his
first thought was, “Uh Oh, this is going to be a problem!” But
that thought was immediately replaced with the happy thought, “Hey,
I’m in Panama, it’s not going to be a problem at all. I will be
with a woman today, one way or the other.”

He felt hungry and he knew he was wet. He removed the pacifier
from his mouth and left it on the nightstand. Off came his plastic
pants and wet diaper, which he dropped into the trash can. He
quickly stepped into a hot shower. After dressing, he made his way
downstairs to the quaint restaurant below. He totally forgot that he
had left his pacifier on the night stand.

After a liesurely and satisfying breakfast, he returned to his
room to find his maid at work, cleaning his room. “Wow,” he
thought. “She is beautiful.”

He assured her it was ok for her to be there and for her to
continue working. But he took advantage of the situation and sat
watching her, so that he could get a close look at this young girl.

She looked to be about nineteen or twenty, and she was perfectly
proportioned with great legs and a thin waist. She was dark skinned,
but only to the point that it appeared that she had a great tan. Her
face was perfectly symmetrical, and it melted his emotions when she
turned on her radiant, sweet smile, with her perfect white teeth.
Her breasts were not large, but she was not flat by any means.

He sat and watched her lovely profile as she moved about his
room. He had nothing else to do, so he secretly hoped that she would
take her time working.

His room now looked spotless and she gathered her supplies to
leave. She stepped outside his door and placed her things on the
small maid’s cart in the hallway. About to close the door, she
abruptly stepped back inside Philip’s room. She reached inside her
right pocket and pulled out the pink pacifier he had left on the
night stand.

It seemed she chose to stand unusually close to him. He felt a
slight stir in his groin because he sensed her body was so close.
Her beautiful smile grew, enhancing her already pretty face. She got
right up under his chin and she held his pacifier up to him.

“Encontré esto al lado de su cama.” She said, as she pointed
to the night stand.

Every time this happened he was so incredibly happy that he’d
had the foresight to learn Spanish.

“Oh, Si. OK, Le ayudame dormir,” and felt his face flush red.

“Well, if it helps you sleep, then you better be careful not to
lose it.” She said as she smiled, and held it up, tantalizingly
close to his lips. He felt his mouth, almost involuntarily, opening
to receive the “chupete.”

She guided it into his mouth and he accepted it. As she did this
he took notice that he could now feel her body pressing against his,
at various strategic points.

He allowed her to see him sucking on his pacifier. She looked
right at his face and into his eyes with a certain kind of awe. She
smiled again as she steadied then looked directly into his eyes.

He began to feel self conscious. Although he was almost certain
she approved, he didn’t know her at all. So he removed the
pacifier himself and took a half step back to better position
himself for some conversation.

When his blushing subsided, he said, “I don’t really know why
and I can’t explain it, but this gives me comfort when I am alone.”

She flashed the most warm and understanding smile he had ever
seen. It melted his heart. “Latin America, I love you.” He
thought.

“It doesn’t matter at all to me. I think it’s sweet. Do you
like baby things?” She asked him gently.

He could sense her maternal instincts nearing the surface. He
felt safe, so he decided to take a chance.

“Come here for a second,” he said and walked over to the
dresser, where he opened the bottom drawer. He lifted it all up so
she could see it all. . .diapers, cute plastic pants, bottles,
pacifiers, diaper pins, baby powder, baby lotions, baby colognes,
and even big baby clothes.

She stood there in awe for a second, then she bent down and felt
the material of the plastic pants and diapers. “You like to wear
all these things?” She asked him.

He nodded yes.

“Why?” She asked quietly.

“Well. . .I am what is known as an Adult Baby, and I love to feel
like a baby whenever I can.” He said.

She stood up quietly and looked like she was in deep thought.

“Do you need a mommy?” She suddenly said, as he felt his
knees go weak.

“Well yes. . .of course.” He heard himself say from somewhere
far away. He felt the urge to fall back on the bed, but she said,
“I have to finish my work now, but will you be here tonight at
5PM, when I get off my shift?”

“Yes,” he answered, disappointed that she couldn’t stay
right now.

Recovering quickly he said, “Sure, that would be great.”

“Ok, I’ll be back then. And don’t eat to much, I might have
a special treat for your dinner.” And she smiled the most
disarming smile toward him as she breezed through his room and
started to close the door behind herself.

Just before she closing the door though, she turned back to him
and said, “Mi nombre es Ana.” She smiled and then she winked at
him.

He just stood there in utter disbelief of what had just happened.
Then he looked down at the open baby drawer, and it sent a shiver
right through him. He had to put on a diaper and some plastic pants
right now for security while he took a nap and waited for her to
return.

A little after 5pm he awoke to a knock on the door and stood up.
He looked at himself in the mirror and saw he was sucking on a pink
pacifier and wearing a soaked diaper, covered by a pair of cute pink
plastic pants with crawling babies, babies sucking on pacifiers, and
smiling animals on them.

For a second he was frozen. He didn’t want to take the time to
undress, clean himself, redress, and then answer the door. But at
the same time he was too self conscious to just throw the door open,
and greet whoever it was dressed this way. Then he remembered his
earlier conversation with Ana.

So he moved close to the door and removed the pacifier from his
mouth. “Quien esta?” He said, as he pressed himself up against
the wood.

“It’s Ana,” came the answer in Spanish.

“Well,” he thought, “it’s now or never,” as he turned
the lock on the door. When it opened, he stood before her and looked
at her as a baby with a pink pacifier in his mouth and wearing
nothing but pink plastic pants covering a diaper.

“Que Lindo,” she gasped.

“She thinks I’m ‘cute’, that’s good,” he thought with
relief, and immediately he wanted her to change him. But he did not
want to engage her in an adult conversation at that moment, so he
just sucked hard on his pacifier and waited for her to make the next
move. His pacifier moved up and down in his mouth. She smiled at
him.

It wasn’t because of her, but he still felt self conscious,
dressed as he was, standing in front of the door open. He motioned
her inside and immediately relaxed as she closed the door behind
herself. He felt his “needs” growing.

“She is going to take off my plastic pants and diaper, and my
private parts will be her entire focus.” He thought, and imagined
himself lying naked before her with his diaper area in their close
proximity to her caressing and caring hands and face. And she would
make the wetness go away too, replacing it with soft, sweet smelling
baby powder. To which his baby pee pee would rise involuntarily. He
couldn’t wait for the process to begin.

She looked him closely. He just stood before her and sucked hard
on his chupete. It was impossible for him to talk.

Ana asked softly, “Would you like me to change you?”

All he could do was nod, and then sit on the edge of the bed. She
pushed him back gently and smiled at the baby face before her as it
sucked on the pink pacifier. She was not self conscious at all and
her only thought was to take care of the baby. She immediately
understood what he needed and what he wanted. Without hesitation,
she lifted his legs and pulled off his plastic pants. Her maternal
instinct kicked in automatically and she abandoned herself to it,
naturally and completely.

He sucked even harder on his pacifier, opened himself to her, and
sank back into the bed. She deftly removed his plastic pants and
then pulled open the tapes on his pampers. She slipped her hand
under his bottom and raised him up slightly, as she pulled out the
soaking diaper.

“Oh, mi bebe es mojado. Mommy will get him all dry, yes she
will.” and she smiled sweetly at him. The baby had been watching
her closely, and smiled back at his mommy as he sucked.

He now felt completely open to her and could feel her eyes caress
his clean shaven diaper area. She went quickly to his secret drawer
and it was just a matter of seconds before he felt her sprinkling on
lots of baby powder and then the exquisite feeling of her hand
smoothing it on him. His happy penis started to respond to her
touch. She smiled at him and cooed, “Oh, that’s better now, isn’t
it sweetheart? Yes it is. Mommy made her sweet little boy’s wet
wee wee go away, yes she did, didn’t she? And now mommy’s baby
is all dwy, and we gonna put wots and wots of baby powder on you,
yes we are sweetheart.” His little penis stiffened and grew. She
smiled at him and he smiled back.

“Ok baby, you just wait right here, and Mommy will be right
back with your bottle.” She reached into the large pocket in her
dress and produced a lunch box sized juicy juice.

Ana found his “biberon” in the open drawer and filled it with
the juice, she the returned immediately to his side. His penis was
standing straight up now and waving happily before her. She brushed
him there ever so slightly. He shivered and raised up his legs.

She slid onto the bed beside him, removed his pacifier, and
guided the bottle easily into his mouth. He started sucking
immediately. She lay close beside him and held the bottle for him.
As he sucked contentedly, she whispered sweet nothings in his ear.
His erection was full and she watched it, occasionally reaching down
to tickle him there. Every time she did that, his legs would raise
up involuntarily, he would hold them there, and then inevitably, he
would start kicking his legs happily into the air. She delighted as
she watched him do this.

Finally, he finished the bottle and Ana raised Philip up from the
bed and gently patted him on the back. He was perfectly relaxed,
except for his penis, but he naturally released a satisfying belch.

“That’s my good boy.” she praised him. “Now, let’s get
you into a nice bath and get you all cleaned up and smelling sweet.”

She slid down from his side and removed the bottle. Ana replaced
it with his pacifier. As she started his bath, Ana was thinking, “What
a sweet man this is. Nothing like the other ‘hombres’ she had
known, who were rough and selfish with her. This was a pleasure for
her compared to those other men.” She thought about how much more
natural this felt. She was enjoying it and thought of his happy
erection.

A playful bath followed, during which Philip continued to suck on
his pacifier and ached for her to relieve him. He had remained rock
hard throughout his bath. Also, his member had stood out, straight
forward, as she patted him dry. One time as she was crouching down
drying his legs and feet, she had kissed the bottom side of his
penis and made some sweet sound like. . . “que rico,” which he
knew meant “how cute.” He loved her attention.

Once he was dry she led him into the bedroom and gently laid him
back on the bed. Next she powdered him profusely and rubbed the
powder in with both hands. He was certain he was going to cum at any
moment, but she stopped just a moment before he could and slid up
close to him on the bed.

“Ok baby, it’s time for your special dinner I promised and
just before she lay down with him, she slipped off her dress and her
blue satin bra. Her breasts were not exceptional, but the second she
guided her nipple into his mouth, he realized that her nipples were
exceptional. Immediately her nipple swelled up and filled his mouth.
He closed his eyes and started sucking involuntarily. He realized
that, as a baby with his eyes closed, he thought her breast were
perfect. He buried his face in their softness. After he had been
nursing for a few minutes, she switched him to her other breast. He
felt perfect.

Slowly she began to caress him everywhere as he nursed and she
whispered sweet sounds in his ear. Ana centered herself for him and
pressed her breast perfectly to his lips. He wasn’t required to
make any effort at all to find her “pezon.” He lay on his back,
suckling at her breast, in complete open abandonment. His powdered
pee pee high in the air.

Ana pulled his head close to her and pressed her breast fully
against his face. It became his entire world, except for that one
“other place” that he was very conscious of.

As Ana pressed him close, she reached down on the bed and located
the bottle of baby powder. She sprinkled more and more on his penis.
He could feel it’s delicate caress and raised his legs
involuntarily. Ana focused totally on his erection and as she
continued to suckle him. She made a circle with her thumb and index
finger and began to rub in the fresh powder on his penis by gently
sliding this circle up and down his throbbing shaft.

Suddenly her breast became secondary. . .important but secondary.
He felt nothing but his pee pee and thought that whenever he was
with mommy, he always felt at complete peace, so open and at ease
that his pee pee would just involuntarily launch into that wonderful
feeling. But he knew that this only happened when he was close, like
now, to mommy.

Philip ejaculated rhythmically and Ana continued to stroke him
and soothe him. She felt herself getting wet as she whispered in his
ear, “Si, Si, mi bebe, That’s my good boy, Si.”

A few minutes later, Ana gently slipped away from his side and
deftly cleaned him up. He dozed off immediately. When he awoke, he
had been cleaned, rediapered, and a fresh pair if plastic pants put
on. Ana was holding him close and whispered in his hear. . . “Shhh,
Shhh, mi amor. It’s all right. Mommy is here. Shhhhh.”

Philip was so content. He felt a huge urge to pee and, without
conscious thought, released completely. He reveled in her closeness
as he flooded his diaper. He was completely relaxed.

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