Woman “Sack Lodges” Boyfriend, Faces Jail Time

While watching Wedding Crashers, I’ve wondered if the ole eye-drop-in-the-drink trick really works. I’ve even held discussions about it. I thought it was just a simple, harmless saline solution, although I was never confident enough in that assumption to actually try it. Well, it works. It works well.

A 33-year-old Pennsylvania woman could spend the rest of her life in prison after admitting to police that she repeatedly poisoned her boyfriend with Visine eye drops for more than three years. Vickie Jo Mills of Ayr Township, Pa., was arrested Thursday and charged with 10 counts of aggravated assault, 10 counts of simple assault and 10 counts of reckless endangerment after she told authorities she slipped Visine eye drops into the drinking water of her boyfriend, 45-year-old Thurman Edgar Nesbitt III.

Thurman Edgar Nesbitt III even sounds like he’d be a guest at the Cleary wedding. So, why would this lady continue poisoning her boyfriend after the drops were clearly effective?

Mills, according to an affidavit, “never meant to kill him [Nesbitt], only wanted him to pay more attention to her.”

Women are still crazy. Rock some gratuitous cleavage next time like everyone else. Although, there is the faint possibility that the eye drops were a payback for Thurman bringing “a couple of those fucking sluts back from the environmental group?” And you know he tapped that again, once at his place and once back in the cab. “Damn. Sluts.”