Now that the truly harsh wintry weather is behind us (fingers crossed), a great deal urban detritus has been unearthed from the receding snow. In my observation it has been mostly dog shit, cigarette butts (LOTS of cigarette butts), rotten food and empty liquor bottles. Vodka mostly. While certainly not pleasant to look at (much less smell), is this really surprising? No, it is not. We have simply been faced with a record of exactly how much trash is tossed and/or accumulates on our streets and sidewalks over sustained period of time. It isn’t pretty— but a head-scratcher this mostly decidedly is not.

Today— the weather being amenable and sporting a brand new pair of walking shoes— I opted to take a walk around Sunset Park. Upon exiting the subway I was promptly greeted by my first “street find”. It too, is not pretty— but a “head scratcher” it most decidedly is.

A dead chicken inside a cheerfully pink box of Pampers Pull-ups. Note how they coordinate with my new sneaks! There was also a quarter in there. I opted (for reasons which methinks are obvious) to leave both be.

The deceased chicken had a companion in the manner of a(n also) deceased pigeon.

How/why this came to be I honestly do not know. I do not think I want to know. Nonetheless, here it is for posterity.

As you can see gentle readers there’s a little something for everybody.

Presenting the “KYNG”. Do it for the kids!

I apprised the Mister of my find. His response was as follows:

So did you bring some home?

I replied that prophylactics left on the sidewalk struck me as being a dicey proposition. What’s more, it would appear someone else needs them. Meanwhile, a few blocks away…

Now let’s take a look at the curb, shall we?

Sometimes when you get that feeling, you needsexual healing…

P.S.: I quickly ascertained during this stroll along Brooklyn’s 3rd Avenue it is graced with a great many adult establishments. That, however, is the subject of another post. Prepare yourselves.

*For those of you who may be wondering, condoms are not the strangest item I have seen left at these collection boxes. That distinction goes to Nassau Avenue where a pair of pink butt plugs, a pink magic pearl vibrator with a rabbit-shaped cliteral stimulator and scattered Jujubes were spied by my buddy Rachael. Don’t believe me? Click here.