Neighbor Neighbor

Snow. (and I’m not talking about the white rapper….Informer….)

You know when a little piece of precip falls from the sky in the DC urr-rea, this place shuts down. When I lived in Bah-ston (a little unknown Fresh fact for you – see I’m sharing), 4-8 inches of snow was common. Business as usual. Out here, 4 inches is a blizzard.

There are two events that seem to bring out neighborhood battles around the way. Snow and grass cutting.

I’m a city boy. Born and raised so this shoveling and lawn mower shit was new to me when I bought the crib. I grew up in an apartment which means, Paco, the landlord shoveled. And grass? The only place you saw grass in Brooklyn was at the park. It wasn’t that lush green stuff. It was patches of grass. Blades of grass holding on for dear life. I had to learn how to get a green thumb.

So with snow, I never shoveled before, so all of this was a learning experience. Imagine how I felt when my neighbor, in her upper 50’s, would have her driveway completely clean before I even started. Now I’m no longer a rookie, so she gets smoked but she makes most of guys around the way look like punks because here’s what happens. Somebody’s wifey or snow-bunny (that’s the booty call you make the night before it snows that way if you’re snowed it, you got some instant booty)…anyway, they call you out…”Fresh, when you gonna shovel….Ms. Lady is already finished” Then your manhood gets questioned and you gotta go out there and bust your ass in sub-freezing temperatures to clean your steps and driveway that eventually melts away. The funny thing is people will shovel right up to their property line. As soon as they approach it, they STOP. *SCREEEEEEEECH* People get picky with that shit. They will complain quick fast in a hurry.

There’s a divider of grass between the houses. Today as I’m shoveling, I dump some snow on the divider. Then things went into slow motion.

I saw a clump of snow rolling towards the end of my property line and over to my neighbor’s driveway….It’s like I was in the movies…..I turned around slow…….I see it happening….I drop the shovel……and start running towards it…..screaming…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…………

I don’t even think it hit the ground before this lady had her blinds open and her eyes got wide……….