Quitting My Job: Why Work Place Matters More For Singles

I supposed technically I should say, “I quit one of my jobs.” I have several. I write and speak and sell real estate. And, up until recently, I also worked at a parish. That was “the job where I went into an office and worked with the same people regularly,” a feature the other jobs don’t have.

And that’s the part of the job that I really miss.

If you’ve read anything I’ve written about singles…well, ever…you’ve probably noticed how big I am on the importance of community for singles. John Paul II said that everyone is created to live within what he called the “Communion of Persons” – in other words, surrounded by others who recognize the image and likeness of God in us, and in whom we recognize His image in return. He said, “The communion of persons means existing in a mutual ‘for,’ in a relationship of mutual gift.” We’re created to co-exist with others who care about us, who know what’s going on with us, and who have our backs and sincerely want what is best for us.

He didn’t say we’d all like to live within the communion of persons. He didn’t say it would be nice for us if it’s possible. He said we’re created for it. We need it.

I don’t know about you, but I believe that with every fiber of my being. I don’t need to be married (although it would be nice). But I know that I need community. I need to have people around me who know me and who care about what’s going on in my life.

The prototype of the communion of persons is, of course, the family. Husband and wife give themselves to each other in love, and out of that love come new human persons to love and give themselves to. In an ideal world, those children then go on to marry and form a new communion of persons.

We all know, however, that it doesn’t always work out that way.

Fortunately for us singles, the biological family – important as it is – is not the only form that the communion of persons takes. The parish is supposed to be a communion of persons. So is the workplace. So is any grouping of friends who really care about each other and are committed to wanting the best for each other.

I find that the workplace is particularly significant to us as singles because those are the people we are with day in and day out. In many cases our co-workers spend more time with us than they spend with their families. And that makes them, for better or for worse, very important people in our lives.

I was fortunate in my last job to supervise a staff of people who really, sincerely care about each other. That made being a manager much easier – and it made going to work every day much easier. And it actually made my life as a single person easier. It was nice to know that, whatever was going on in my life outside the office, there would be people there who would have my back – and better yet to know that they’d have each others’ backs. (Changing conditions in the office, however, made it clear it was time to move on.)

The “workplace as communion of persons” concept is not limited to the Church. In fact, the Church has no corner on that market whatsoever. I have seen secular workplaces that were permeated by a deep respect for the importance of each individual person, and I have seen faith-based organizations where management runs roughshod over their employees.

So what does your workplace look like? Are you treated as an image and likeness of God or as a cog in the wheel? Do your co-workers play a role in your communion of persons? How much?

Mary Beth Bonacci is an internationally known speaker. Her major addresses include 10,000 teenagers in Monterrey, Mexico, 75,000 people at World Youth Day in Denver, Colo., 22,000 people at the TWA Dome during the Pope's visit to St. Louis, plus a national seminar for single adults in Uganda, Africa. She does frequent
radio and TV work, and has even made several appearances on
MTV.
She is the author of We're On A Mission From God And Real Love, which has been translated into six languages. Mary Beth holds a bachelor's degree in organizational communication from the
University of San Francisco, a master's degree in Theology of Marriage and Family from the John Paul II Institute, and an honorary Ph.D. in communications from the Franciscan University of Steubenville. Request advice from Mary Beth to be shared on "Faith, Hope & Love" at askmarybeth@catholicmatch.com. Her web site is http://www.reallove.net.

My workplace is incredible…everyone feels like family to me! Work hours are pretty flexible, and while my boss wants us to get eight hours in a day, he says that one of those hours can be dedicated to prayer if we wish. I am so blessed.

One of my life’s biggest blessings is my workplace. Although it’s a “secular” employer, the members, manageent and fellow co-workers are truly a caring community. I have gone through many life changes, challanges and good times in the last 10 years I’ve been with the firm and have always felt that I am always cared about as a person, not just an employee. Besides all that the hours are flexible, the pay is above average and the benefits are second to none. We have to work hard to stay there, they don’t allow people to take advantage, but, in all truth it’s justice for both employer and employee.

I found out what a special place to work I have the honor of working for last year especially, one of the owners of the company drove over an hour to visit me when my son was in the hospital. And they basically said take as much time as you need to not only while my son was in the hospital but then again after he passed away. They seemed to really appreciate that I needed to go back to work two weeks after my nightmare began. And when I got back there was a nice card, along with other little things that showed how much they truly cared for me……and my family.

I quit my job in February- I felt very isolated and was harassed by my boss…more than that, the entire industry was that way (I worked in DoD Naval-Air warfare contracts) so no matter how many times I transferred, it just got worse. I think if I could find a rewarding career, with people who appreciated my individuality, I might not mind being single so much…

Until then: I remain happy I left that horrible place, full of bureaucrats and backstabbers, but it does hurt to see my $14,000 nestegg dwindling to nothing over the last 6 months as I job hunt and man-hunt… Alas, God will provide