And while there are a myriad of things one can do to console a crying baby, such as burping it, feeding it, hugging it, singing to it, walking around with it, putting it in a dark quiet room so it can fall asleep, taking it for a drive until it falls asleep, jingling a set of keys in front of it, giving it a pacifier, change its diaper, give it a nice warm bath, and the like, this guy chose to go another route.

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Why isn't there a superhero named Floridaman who snuffs out his adversaries by eating their faces and sitting on their heads and has a secret headquarters in a trailer park on the outskirts of Jacksonville?!? Get to it Marvel Comics!