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Today marks the halfway point of the Whole30. How am I doing? Pretty well, actually. I’m a little surprised, since I’ve tried twice before and failed miserably. I don’t know, really, what’s different this time – maybe I just can’t bear the thought of the razzing I’d get from my Young Diabetic Friend if I wimp out.

As promised, I’ve cut back on the dried fruit, nuts and fried foods (the one exception being the fried green tomatoes Beloved made for breakfast on Sunday), and I’m still exercising every day. My mood has evened out (well, somewhat) without the, um, expected conclusion. I’m not particularly tempted by things forbidden on the plan (see yesterday’s note about the chocolate cake) – in fact, I’m pretty happy with the diet so far. Yesterday I had scrambled eggs and coffee with coconut milk for breakfast, leftover chili dogs and some watermelon for lunch, and roast chicken and sweet potatoes and leftover melon salad for dinner. Tonight we’re having pot roast.

I’ve noticed some positive things happening, but I think I’ll leave documenting those for when it’s all said and done. Except for this – about three weeks ago, I bought a new pair of shorts. Today, they’re loose on me. Very loose.

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I was beginning to feel kind of lonely in my little corner of the internet, but it seems I’ve finally arrived: I was trolled by a vegan the other day. Normally, I don’t have problems with other diets – different things just work for different people – but please, don’t take me to task for a post that is 1) almost a year old and B) you didn’t even bother to fully read.

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I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but I collect Precious Moments figurines. In my defense, they are all “relevant” to me or my interests and none (that I’ve personally chosen, anyway) are overtly religious in nature. I haven’t bought one in awhile – so much of our time and money is devoted to the purchase and preparation of food these days – but I could hardly turn this down:

Yes, that would be James Tiberius Kirk, and he is the first in a series that will include Spock, Uhura and who knows what all else. To say I’m giddy is an understatement.

Beloved says I need two of any red shirts that come, since one of them is sure to break.

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There are two bits of ludicrous news out there concerning everyone’s favorite breakfast foods: eggs and bacon.

The Toronto SUN reports, “The Western researchers studied 1,231 patients, using ultrasound to measure the plaque build-up on the inside walls of their arteries…Patients in the study filled out questionnaires about their lifestyle and medications, including their consumption of egg yolks and cigarettes.

“While the build-up of plaque was a straight-line increase for people after age 40, it rose exponentially for smokers and regular egg-yolk eaters. Researchers also found people eating three or more egg yolks a week had significantly more plaque on their artery walls than those eating two or fewer yolks a week.

“Eating yolks triggered plaque build-up at two thirds the rate for people who are smokers.”

There are so many things wrong with this, it’s hard to know where to begin. But for starters, this is an observational study with a tiny demographic dependent on food questionnaires – they might as well have pulled the results right out of their asses. They may have, for all we know – when the researcher in charge published the results of a similar study in 2010 linking eggs to health problems, a major donor pulled funding from the university where he is employed (his house was also, amusingly, egged).

As for bacon, the president of Paul Quinn, a small, private university in Dallas with a predominately African-American student body, has banned “all pork and pork related products” – yes, including bacon – from the menus of every eating establishment located on campus “in an effort to steer his student body into more mindful food choices.”

I guess “mindful choices” excludes exercising both your mind and your choice. Since the president of the university has also cut the football program and turned the football field into a huge garden, donating its crops to those in need and using the surplus in the school’s cafeteria, one wonders how long it will be before leaving the campus for a bacon cheeseburger will be grounds for expulsion.

Between news like this and the mud-slinging presidential candidates, life is never boring. Frustrating as shit, but never, ever boring.