The Browns are to me what fat chicks are to Mark Grace — SlumpBusters. For those of you not familiar, the Cubs All-Star 1st Baseman had a sure fire way to break himself out of a dreaded slump. He would find the biggest broad in the bar and bang her like a screen door in a hurricane. He swore by it, even encouraged other teammates to do the same. And based on some of the Cubs teams of the 90’s, there must have been a whole lotta big girls gettin’ a whole bunch of lovin’.

The point is, the Browns are my slumpbuster. After another disasterours Sunday, I found myself scrapng the bottom of the barrel Monday evening, looking for anyway to salvage my week. And what did I find? The bloated, chubby cheeked, cottage cheesed, fat bottomed Cleveland Browns. The Dawgs, were just that, of the +11 1/2 point variety. And even though it seemed that everything I had touched the last two weeks had turned to mush, there was no way the Ravens wouldn’t cover. There was no way Cleveland was going to show up as anything other than the triple chined, thunder thighed chick at the end of the bar. And much like Mark Grace, I slapped that thigh and rode the wave right out of my slump.

One response to “Cleveland Rocks”

Nothing like enjoying a tasty sub on your lunch, checking your old buddies website for some good laughs and Chicago sports news, and scrolling down to see 4 women that appear to have enjoyed CiCi’s $5 pizza everyday buffet for the past 30 years. And judging by them still sporting bikini’s (even though the raven haired sea cow on the left who I’m pretty sure isn’t wearing a bikini bottom because it’s either engulfed into abyss of inhumane areas or it was simply too much work to put it on and she figured her excess body that droops down like a cartoon of the same name would cover up the naughty places.) is actually grabing the tank in the lime green bikini’s flappage! That big and bikini’s? Are they using funhouse mirrors when they see how they look?