Saturday, March 14, 2015

A lot of people - white people - complain about "reverse racism," the idea of minorities being racist against white people. Comedian Aamer Rahman explained how it's possible for there to be "reverse racism."
https://youtu.be/dw_mRaIHb-M

Sunday, February 01, 2015

The Tesla P85D Model S has a little button on it called "insane mode." "Insane mode" causes the car to accelerate from zero to sixty in less than four seconds. That's incredible acceleration, and DragTimes created this video showing the reactions of average people to it. And yes, the button actually does say "insane."

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

I love Jennifer Lawrence. Not so much as an actor (although she's great as Mystique and Katniss), but as a human being. Her antics off the set are more entertaining than her acting, because she's so unfiltered. It's refreshing to see her talk and goof around in ways that regular people do, but most celebrities are too self aware to do. She's the anti-Anne Hathaway.

That's why this clip of her meeting one of the stars of Homeland is so awesome, because it's exactly how a regular person would behave when meeting someone from their favorite show. But it does take a dark turn when they accidentally spoil a major moment from the show, and she freaks out the way most of us who hate spoilers do. (If you haven't seen past the first two seasons of Homeland, don't watch this or you'll do the same thing)

Thursday, December 04, 2014

I saw this on Facebook, and I wish I could post this everywhere someone shares this thing.

This is a really, really horrible idea. The stuff inside glow sticks is toxic. Not corrosive acid, kill-you-instantly toxic, but still toxic. The packages all have warnings not to cut open glow sticks for a reason. The chemicals can burn and irritate the eyes and skin, and are even more toxic to pets. I can imagine the scene of a bunch of kids running around playing with the glowing bubbles and descending into horror as they start crying and screaming. All because some idiot gave some bad advice that went viral. So I created this...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Kristen Bell really, really, really likes sloths. When her boyfriend introduced her to a sloth for her thirty first, Kristen absolutely freaked out. Watched her overview of the situation on The Ellen Show.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Sunday, August 10, 2014

What are you doing? What are you thinking? Do you even know why you decided to put on this ridiculous (for you) hairstyle?

Dreadlocks are not pigtails. They are a profound cultural statement. There is literally no other hairstyle on Earth more identified with a specific racial group than dreadlocks, the one you decided to adopt. Even within African American culture, wearing dreadlocks speaks volumes about your African heritage, and possibly even your love of the Caribbean and reggae. What do dreadlocks possibly say to the Caucasian community? That you listen to too much Bob Marley?

I don’t even understand why you would go to all that trouble. Dreadlocks on African Americans occur naturally, just by braiding our naturally curly hair and keeping it tightly wound. You have to keep tangling it, and not washing it, and putting super glue in it or whatever it is you do to get your straight hair to make dreadlocks. It’s not worth it.

More than all of this, white people wearing dreadlocks just cheapen the whole thing. It makes you look silly, and makes everyone else with dreadlocks look silly. On behalf of the African American community, I’d like to say stop. Just stop. Wash your hair and move on with your life.

Saturday, August 09, 2014

Turbo is a very frustrating movie. It’s very well animated, the voice work is great with stars like Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson, and the script is okay, if you don't mind the patchwork of story elements obviously lifted from other movies like Ratatouille. But it has a fatal flaw that made it hard to watch: the premise.

Turbo is one of those “x dreams of being a y” stories where “y” is something outlandish, like a rat who wants to be a cook or a pig who wants to be a sheepdog. But Turbo is about a snail who dreams of winning the Indy 500. I don’t mean driving a race car in the Indy 500. A snail driving a car would kinda make sense. I mean, running in the Indy 500 himself, despite the fact that he has no wheels or even legs, and no one actually runs in the Indy 500.

Of course, the moral of the story is that you can do anything if you put your mind to it, but I think Turbo proves the opposite. A snail who wants to win the Indy 500 makes about as much sense as a mouse who wants to become the world’s tallest building. It’s a dream that doesn't make any kind of sense. It’s just not going to happen. This is the kind of idea that should have made someone take a step back to re-think the basic concept. But instead of acknowledging the impossibility, the movie goes through a tortured path to try to make it happen.

While wishing upon a star, Turbo falls into a racing car’s engine and gets soaked in nitrous oxide. The combination of nitrous oxide and a toxic soda he drinks gives him super-speed. I can accept that, sort of. What I can’t accept is that it also gives him other features of a car, like headlights, a car alarm, and even a radio. As funny as it is to see his eyes popping to Snoop Dogg’s tunes, I couldn't help thinking, “How is that even remotely possible?” But I digress.

With his newfound speed, Turbo befriends a taco store clerk (for some strange reason, maybe to draw in a Latino audience) who believes in him and wants to make the dream come true. They go to the Indy 500, where an Internet video of Turbo racing the track leads to a groundswell of support to allow Turbo to race.

Now, here’s where it gets really sticky. They repeatedly try to explain why Turbo can enter the race by saying, “There’s no rule that says a snail can’t race!” Well, no, there’s no specific rule that says a snail can’t race in the Indy 500, but there are specific rules on exactly what kind of vehicle can race in the Indy 500. Emphasis being “vehicle.” Specifically, the rules state only open wheel automobiles can race, and Turbo has no wheels. End of movie.

But no, they go ahead and Turbo gets his race. I’m probably not spoiling it to say he wins, but it all felt really hollow. I mean, I’m used to nonsensical stories in kids’ movies, but Turbo simultaneously tries to ground the story in reality while clinging to a ridiculous premise. I just couldn't buy it.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The woman in the video found the lion, injured in the forest, on the verge of death. She took the lion home with her and nursed it back to health. Later, when the lion was better, she made arrangements with a zoo to take the lion. Some time passed before the woman had a chance to visit the zoo. This video was taken when she walked up to the lion's cage to see how he was doing. Watch the lion's reaction when he sees her!!

The story is almost completely wrong. The woman's name is Ana Julia Torres. She's a professional wildlife rescuer. She did find the lion, but at a zoo where it was being mistreated, not "injured in the forest." She nursed it back to health, but not at her "home." She runs an animal shelter where Jupiter the lion (its real name) is being kept. It hasn't been years since she's seen it. She continues to take care of it, because she sees it every day and it greets her this way. I don't know why this video is being distributed with this made up story when the real story is so much better.

Friday, February 28, 2014

This video really shouldn't make me giggle as much as it does. There's a YouTuber who calls himself "How to Basic" who makes some of the most bizarre and messiest videos you've ever seen, and here's his recreation of Miley Cyrus twerking at the VMAs. I know, it's uncanny how accurate it is.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Monday, November 04, 2013

Have you heard the phrase "what the fox says" and didn't know what it meant? Want to be ahead of the curve on what the young people are doing? Then let's learn together with MemeWatch. Today's lesson is on "What the Fox Says."

You've probably heard about the phrase "what the fox says." It's from this music video: "The Fox," more popularly known as "What Does the Fox Say."

Trivia: The video wasn't actually intended to be a real song. Ylvis is a Norwegian comedy duo with a TV show, and "The Fox" was just intended to be a commercial for the new season of their show. "The Fox" is meant to be a parody of pretentious pop music with an intentionally silly and stupid premise. As one member of Ylvis said, it was just supposed to amuse Norway for a few minutes. In the process, they accidentally created a genuinely good song. No one is more surprised than Ylvis that "The Fox" has taken off.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

This short film "Skwirl" is a trip. It has a couple talking to each other in what sounds like English, even to English speakers, but it's only when you listen closely that you figure out it's complete gibberish. Kind of like what Russian and Japanese sound like to me.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Recently, we became aware of the frustrating response law enforcement gives to identity theft. It made me wonder what would happen if the police treated other crimes the way they treated identity theft. I think it would go something...like this.

POLICE: 911, what is your emergency?VICTIM: My car! Someone just stole my car! I had my wife and kids in the car, and some guy just ran up with a gun and forced us all out and stole my car!POLICE: All right, calm down.VICTIM: But he's got my car! I can see him driving away!POLICE: It's okay. We see this a lot these days. Frankly, you shouldn't have been driving around in public with your car. That's just asking for somebody to steal it. What you should do is keep your car in your garage so no one takes it.VICTIM: But-but I need to drive my car around! That's why I have a car! Anyway, forget how it happened! The guy's turning the corner! I need someone out here! He's driving west on Elm Street--POLICE: Okay, sir, please calm down. Here's what you need to do. I'm going to give you a website. It has a live feed of street cameras. What you need to do is watch those feeds until you spot your car. Then you can find out where the car thief is going, and tell whoever is at that location when he gets there not to let him park his car there. Then when he goes somewhere else, do the same thing--VICTIM: What? Wait a minute, you mean I have to find this guy? Why can't you do it? You're the police.POLICE: Securing your car is your responsibility, sir, not mine. We don't have the manpower to track down every stolen car.VICTIM: But I can't spend the rest of my life watching a computer for my car!POLICE: Well, there are many companies that will monitor the streets and notify you when they spot your car. The point is, you'll need to find wherever the thief tries to park your car and get the parking lot to deny him access. That way, you won't get any tickets or parking fees that he might get you charged with.VICTIM: But he'll still have my car!POLICE: Well, I mean, the reality is that he has your car. There's not much we can do about that. You just need to minimize the damage. If you want your car back, here's what you need to do. Go find a flashlight and start going around, inspecting every car. When you find your car, let us know, and we'll arrest the driver. If we can get there in time. Good luck!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When I was a kid, I used to watch Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. I used to wonder why he would talk about the Neighborhood of Make Believe where he would have his puppets and the trolley. Why not just have the puppets and trolley, instead of making a big deal about how he used his imagination to do it? No other show did.

Now I have toddlers, and they watch shows like "Lunar Jim" and "Dora the Explorer," and are always asking, "Is that real?" "Is this real?" And I have to explain what is real (yes, porcupines are real), and what's not (no, people can't breathe on the Moon).

I realized that Mister Rogers knew that children struggled to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, and that TV shows could blur the line. That's why, on his show, he always made it clear what was make-believe and what was real.