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Funny satire stories about Loser

George Zimmerman, the unemployed Sanford FL hot head who shot and killed an unarmed teenager, is trying to make a buck anyway he can on his 15 minutes of vomit inducing fame.
Zimmerman's agent Sal Douchbaggie announced today that Georgie will be f...

The media portrays millennials as lazy little losers who won't get off the couch long enough to apply for a job. But not all millennials are disaffected, undisciplined people. Take my little Janie, for example. Janie wants a job - she just hasn't found one yet. But we think she is going to start looking one of these days.
According to the media, millennials use drugs and alcohol to forget thei...

After the opening match of the season, Made-up United's magnificent two goal win over Imaginary Town has Made-up's fans looking froward to a promotion party at the end of the season.
"We were magnificent," said Dominic Fridge, a life-long Made-up...

ATLANTA - Wanna win a national championship? Get UPS to air a TV ad featuring your team getting crushed as an example of excellent logistics. Just ask the University of Kentucky.
For the 2012 UK Wildcats men's basketball team, UPS did just tha...

The only British man who is any good at tennis lost today to one of the many, many blokes who just happen to be better than him at it.
"He lost well", said Susan Crochet, tennis correspondent of The Daily Middlebrow "he lost to the standard we've...

Recent studies conducted by England's highly respected Jane Johnson Institute of Journalistic Gender Disorders located in Wolverhampton, West Midlands has discovered a new male dysfunction.
This new affliction is unique for several reasons. First...

LOS ANGELES - At the International People of the Year Awards 2011, you won the Loser of the Year Award.
Ben Stiller presented you with the award stating: "This person has been such a loser that the fact the person even got here without getting injured is a miracle."
You gracefully stumbled down the aisle to the stage, where you mumbled a few words of thanks.
"I didn't really feel surprise...

STOCKHOLM & LONDON - Taimor al-Whatever attempted to blow up a busy shopping district in Stockholm. The retard.
The guy had three fucking bombs and missed - anybody. That's good. The loser deserved it. Where's your jihad now? Bet he went to he...

Loser, John Strumpet, today found himself in the usual grip of losing a football game, playing for his local amateur team "Bob's Boys" - only to find himself slotting home two beautiful crafted and taken goals in the dying minutes.
"It was amazing...

Medium Rock, AK - Senior year at Medium Rock High School was memorable for Johnny Wallbanger. The Medium Rock quarterback averaged 10 touchdown passes per game and threw for hundreds of yards, propelling his team to the top of their division. Wallb...

The owner of a pier arcade in Suffolk, has re-invented an old favourite where people had the opportunity to hit the well-known garden pest, the mole. He has found that the new version, which also allows the public to attack another well known high-st...

Dearest Madame Bitters,
I'm a single woman well into my 30's and I'm more than ready to settle down. I'm dating a man who is sweet and considerate, but he is a loser in every other sense. He's a garbage man, he's 50lbs overweight and a horrible dresser. He goes to comic book and sci-fi conventions and he says, "Okie dokie," way, way too much. He's crazy about me and he wants to make a life with...

TIPP CITY, OHIO (AP Newsliar) -- Local area resident Joe Botney is such a complete loser he can't even make the "L" loser sign on his forehead correctly, instead routinely using the wrong hand to make a "J".

It's a Sunday night and once again it's time to kick back those shoes and do what you enjoy most...You
A) Have a few tequila shots and hit the town with your friends, you rarely go to work Mondays anyway cause you're always hang over...

Explaining that he was "tired of saying yes to every loser with his you-know-what in a wringer," the Lord God Jesus Christ announced yesterday that he would enter fewer hearts this year. "Don't write a check with your behavior that you can't cas...

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Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.

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