A resident of Alexandria, Minnesota contacted the police earlier this month to report that someone entered his house and changed the settings on his PlayStation 4. Of course they did.

Reader Matt sent us this clipping from his local Echo Press newspaper indicating the report, which was placed on December 6. I imagine he did so after a prolonged bout of staring at the paragraph, squinting his eyes and tilting his head, obviously distraught about his crime-ridden town. Why, earlier that same day police were called because "someone left garbage and a bag of animal feces on a driveway." I'm guessing it was the same perpetrator.

I'd also like to imagine that this entire incident was just the worst excuse for a lost Call of Duty round ever, and the guy called the police just to follow through on his claim. That's dedication.