Am a Leatherman on the GROWL.......
Many of you queers will get pissed off at me for telling the truth but you know deep inside that I am indeed tellin the truth; not on how I see things but on how the way it IS...and if you cant handle it..get lost.

Monday, December 04, 2006

WIth Arms Wide Open

I thought of this song by Creed in deciding to write this post. ITs a late night here in South FLorida and life has been good. Thanksgiving was GREAT which was a far cry from last year. MY life is BACK to the way it was before the shit hit the fan with the ex, although I will NEVER understand why he put me through his garbage and drama.It was a great Monday. Good workout, shopping, just a great day. I went out with one of my good close friends. We hung out and chatted and laughed our tails off. Right before I was to meet my buddy, I was on line and was chattin with a guy I have always liked and enjoyed both in and out of bed. We have been getting together for over 2 years now, ever since I became single. He asked to come over and I said I had made previous plans but I told him I would be home by 11PM and he said he would come by. Well he just left and I was a bit overwhelmed. We watched a REALLY shlocky Grade B mystery. When I saw him pulling off his clothes to watch the movie in my bedroom I did the same. There we were, in our manhood and naked. We lied down and put on the DVD and held each other for the entire movie. Toward the end of the movie, he picked his head off my hairy chest and told me that he had some news that would freak me out. I told him that VERY little freaks me out anymore. He then disclosed that as of several months ago he is now HIV positive. At first I didnt know how to ask anything because I was a bit shocked. After about 45 sec I asked several questions..Yes he had unprotected sex. He does NO drugs of ANY kind. This I know for a fact. The one question..WHY did he do this? He replied that he really didnt care anymore. On one hand I didnt understand but on the other I did..It bothered me that I understood. That it made sense. I am so freakin tired of it myself that if I found out I was hiv poz, it wouldnt bother me anymore. He said it didnt bother him one bit. He was afraid that it would bother me which is why he said the news would freak me out..but it didnt because on some level I understand..and you know what..THAT SUCKS. It sucks that I have gotten to the point that when someone gets infected that its not a big deal to me..THATS what SUCKS..W are all just SO freakin tired of this and with the phenomenal amounts of money that the drug companies are hauling in theres NO impetus to find a cure. Same with cancer and heart disease. You cure it you put the companies AND their investors OUT of business. I am frustrated and tired of it all. I guess with World AIDS day (Dec 1) just having been finished I hear this 3 days later and THAT stinks. I guess it IS what it IS....