I'm Raymond Mar. My life is filled with new successes and new experiences. I recently experience a step backwards losing who I am. I'm happy the step backwards was short. I grew up again. I found new strength, new wisdom, and the old Raymond Mar from 2009-2012. The biggest success since 2011 is I found a new job. My new life is coming soon. The curses disappeared. There is new hope and new faith. Never take anything and anyone for granted.

*Working Out At The Gym. Being physically fit is important to me. I workout three days a week.

*Hiking. My newest hobby. I have been hiking once a month; unfortunately, I didn't in Jan and Feb because of rain and school.

*Music. Classic rock, classical music, classic jazz.

*Video Games. The longest hobby starting with the ATARI. The video game I play are classic arcade such as Gauntlet II and TF2 (Team Fortress 2), my only video game I play on the internet.

*Books. I prefer fiction; however, I read a good nonfiction. I have not read books recently because I'm catching up with anime.

*Cooking. I have enough skills to survive. I lack skills for good tasting food.

*Board Games. Any board game I'm interested in playing. I include MahJong and casino craps. I haven't played poker in a long time.

*Dancing. I started in Jan 2009 with lessons from my sister. I'm taking classes at De Anza.

*Movies. I have a small DVD collection. I got a renewed interest in movies in 2009.

*Sports. I follow the football and baseball headlines. I follow little basketball and hockey. I know enough to at least understand a conversation.

*Television. I watch little TV.

What Are Your Feelings?

I feel I have too many hobbies. I'm not an "expert" or "advanced." I'm a casual at this. I'm a beginner at that. For example, video games. I love video games. I'm neither an expert where I win competitions nor an expert who follows video game current events. I'm not an expert to give a good opinion.

Anime is another example. I watch anime and read manga. I don't memorize the voice actors and actresses. My cosplays are not award winning. I haven't purchased an anime CD in a long time. I attend two anime conventions. No more. My manga collection is small.

Automobiles is another example. I didn't list above because I know little about cars. I like taking care of my car. I maintain my car to the best of what I know. I want to learn more.

What Else Are You Feeling Strongly?

I'm lonely. I have friends and I know people who relate to most of my hobbies. I'm missing the people in my life who relate to my hobbies closer. I'm missing the people with a closer connection. Don't get me wrong. The friends and acquaintances I get along well and I appreciate their friendship and the time spent with me. It's just I'm the lowest common denominator.

Maybe It's Who You Are, Not What You Know

Good thought. Who you are is more important than what you know. Perhaps I'm scaring people from interacting with me or perhaps I'm scared from interacting with them. I'm not attracting people. Or maybe for 35 years I fail to find people closest to me for long-term friendship.

What Lesson Your Hobbies Fail To Teach You?

Desire. Everyday I see people doing what they do best. I consider myself not an expert in all my hobbies. I didn't have the desire to be advanced, to be an expert, to be "wow, that guy is good." I started a hobby, got excited, and then the excitement stops. I lost interest to continue learning the hobby. I did the bare minimum. Why? It must be I have too many hobbies and I have nobody to share my hobbies.

What Hobbies Do You Quit To Spend Time On Others?

The answer is anime. I have been losing interest in anime. Moreover, anime is a hobby that's least likely to help me find a new job, help me earn income, help me learn life skills. Ironically and in all honestly, anime has taught me a few life lessons. And most of my friends are anime fans.

*thought* I just realized eventually I'm going to find new friends who relate to me closer to my current friends. That's sad. That's life. I want to reiterate the guys I hang out with for the last four years are great guys. These guys are important because without them, I'm truly lonely.

Remember You Wanted To Be A Jack-Of-All-Trades?

I remember. I wanted to be a jack-of-all-trades for all my hobbies. I don't consider myself that because there is a point in my hobbies I lose the desire to learn more. Maybe it's because I have too many hobbies and not enough time? Maybe I found a better hobby? I believe there's a better answer. I need to find the answer and move forward.

The Answer Is Simply Time

Possibly. Everyone has 24 hours each day. We can't be an expert in everything professionally and recreationally. Another possibly is what I said, "Maybe I found a better hobby?" I start learning and doing the new hobby and I spend less time on other hobbies. I feel sad I stop doing a hobby I really enjoy. I want to keep doing that hobby even if I spend less time. I don't want to quit that hobby. If I quit, then I lose most of my friends, and most of my friends are anime fans. I don't have time to be an expert in all my hobbies. I just said time. Can a person be an expert in all hobbies—even if the person has, say, at least ten? I think about time in another blog entry.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Let's ask the question again. What are my desires? My desires are to continue growing up and finding who am I. Am I a kind person? Can I be nasty and kind? Can I be funny and silly and serious and smart? I want to be strong. I want to be successful and continue being successful and stronger. I want to catch up what I missed in my past from eating a new food to parachuting off an airplane.

I want to meet new people. I want new memories. I want to learn new skills. I want to innovate and change continuously. I want a new look on my face. Honestly, I don't like my face with acne and blackheads. Most people who look at me think I'm anti-social, too quiet, and too nice.

I want to move out. I don't know when. I don't know how. I don't even have the money. I'm going back to school to help me make the desire come true.

Some of my desires are open-ended and some are specific. One part of life is the unknowns, the mysteries in life. I say another desire is to seek the unknowns and mysteries in my life and solve them.

I ask the same question indefinitely as I continue to live my optimistic and soon to be happy life!

About Me

Get up and do something, anything is my life motto. The irony is true: live a good life, live a happy life, one must work intelligently to achieve them. Earn them. I don't take life for granted. Be active. Be open. I always seek new experiences and adventures. Boredom kills life's motivation. Meet new people. Create new circle of friends. Exercise your body. Exercise your mind. Strong bodies, strong minds. Spend wisely. Rest is important. Feel a good person. Be a good person.