The Holy Observer is coming back from the dead!

Dear readers, after 7 years, God's #1 source for Christian satire news is being resurrected! Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram to get every update!

If you’ve been wondering what’s causing that emptiness you’re feeling inside, it’s that THO hasn’t been in your life. Well, maybe it’s because you need to get closer to God, but an easier first step is following us. So go now and do it! Abundant joy awaits!

Experts warn of a looming shortage of "supernatural resources"

VATICAN CITY — An unprecedented summit of Christian leaders convened here earlier this month to take part in a summit to address what many fear could be the greatest spiritual crisis of our time — a shortage of prayer.

Obnoxious behavior and bad jokes make leaders and youth long for quieter days

SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO — For years leaders and youth group members at New Mexico Church of Christ took great pains to get the group’s shyest member, Corey Tait, to take part in more activities and show more of his personality. But these days, those well-intentioned folks are feeling like victims of their own success. […]

OAK PARK, IL — Worship Leader Eunice Matthews has brought suit against Oak Park Community Church, claiming that they are responsible for a thigh injury that she suffered while leading Sunday morning worship. The lawsuit, filed in US District Court last week, claims that Matthews gave herself a severe deep thigh bruise while slapping her […]

Pastor John Huber still has a burden for little people. This, in spite of the fact that his evangelistic efforts among Orange County’s diminutive sinners have produced no converts. “We’ve just got to raise the bar,” the unflappable Baptist minister said. A weekend crusade for little people held last week at his Santa Ana church […]

BASRA, Iraq — Call it fowl play. Open Doors, the legendary missions network led by Brother Andrew, recently smuggled one Bible into the Middle East. The big deal? Not in traditional format—print, cassette tape or MP3—Andrew’s crew floated all 31,103 verses of the Bible down the Euphrates River, via rubber duckies.

ST. LOUIS, MO – Derek Freeman found himself experiencing information overload on a recent first time visit to nearby Chesterfield Community Church. “I was sitting in the all purpose sanctuary, enjoying my chai tea latte, when the woman up front invited new visitors to see someone on the welcome team if they wanted more information […]

New declaration from The Almighty makes gesturing to Him on field a sin

HEAVEN – In a press release issued earlier this month, God declared that professional athletes in any sport who point or gesture in any way in His direction while on the field of play will be subject to the normal penalties for committing a sin. The policy seems to have been in the works for […]

WABASH, IN. – Bake sales. Car washes. Bingo. Churches for decades have relied on tried and true methods of fundraising when tithes and offerings left vision-thick congregations in a lurch. But Wabash Christian Center has taken a unique approach to supplying ministerial needs. Eschewing fundraising altogether, the 20-year-old fellowship collects Marlboro Miles to outfit its church.

10. “If I’d wanted microwaved burritos, I’d have gone to church at the 7-11.”
9. “Girl, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
8. “Mmm, you can almost smell the E. Coli.”
7. “Hmmm, I wonder how all that angel food cake fits into Pastor Rob’s South Beach Diet.”
6. “I’d like to slap the hands that prepared THIS meal.”
– Click the title to read the rest!