Eagles

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Haast's eagles are extinct. You can help Uncyclopedia by locating a live one and writing an article about how you did it. That stupid ass sculpture by Mark Hill obviously does not count as a live Haast's eagle.

Eagles are large birds of prey which have powerful wings, sharp talons and other structural adaptations that totally kick ass but chuck norris will completely destroy u all. Eagles are only found in the United States of America and parts of Antarctica. Though the way more awesome Super Eagles can only be found in the UK. Due to America's obsession with bald eagles, the rest of the world regards them as "a bit shit."

Philip Mahogany was once convicted of gross indecency with an eagle, but it was later discovered that such a man did not exist.

Eagles have always been an enduring symbol of Freedom, Disco Music and the Republican Party. They also have confused with superman, but upon closer inspection he is usually found to be a plane instead.

The remaining evil bunnies were killed off by freedom-loving school-children and speedsters. During the war, a few unofficial and often overlapping alliances were formed with the Fishtribes of America. However, it was soon discovered that the Fish were vehement supporters of 'Water Conservation' and other Unamerican ideologies.

To this very day, the Eagle continues to defend our holy land in the sea, the forests and the air.

For some unexplainable reason, authors and moviemakers seem to think themselves tremendously clever when using a simile/metaphor/sex toy involving Eagles. Some popular works of fiction involving Eagles: