I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how we teach our kids responsibility. I’ve found that opportunities to teach are available on a near constant basis. I find that sometimes the most memorable and meaningful times come from when we make mistakes. I would prefer my kids make mistakes while they’re young, and learn the lessons early, than have to suffer from big mistakes when they’re older.

Here are 5 ways to teach kids responsibility.

Begin when they’re young – Habits are built up over time, and it’s the little things we do each day that build a strong foundation for a solid future. When they’re young we wanted them to be responsible for their behavior. So they were taught to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ They wouldn’t get what they requested until they did those things. I love that they learned to ask for things saying ‘May I’ as well. We don’t come into the world, well-mannered, and polite, these things must be taught. Simple tasks and chores at home, help to hone ownership, and fosters team work. As they develop and become more adept at taking on responsibility, we trust them, and allow them to have more opportunities.

Work together – I’m sure we’ve all had times where we’ve been asked to do something that the person asking us, never does. There’s so much hypocrisy and resentment when something like that happens. Kids are very intelligent, they know when someone is trying to bamboozle them. So, if I ask my kids to clean their rooms, or help me clean the house, that means that I can’t sit on my bum, and watch them to it. When they see that I’m rolling up my sleeves to get to it, they trust me. It proves to them that I mean what I say, and I show them by my actions. Working together as a family, brings unity, and makes onerous chores more enjoyable.

Show them by example – This follows the work together tip above, but it’s one of the most important skills in parenting. How we live, how we joke, how we dress, how we talk about people, all affects our kids. If we want our kids to be generous, kind, patient, upstanding citizens, we have to model that. Raising kids with character doesn’t just magically happen, it requires us to change, to be better. Trust me, my kids have made me a better person, bit by bit as I try to live up to what I hope they will become. I’ve still got a long, long way to go. I like that they see that I’m human, I make mistakes, and that I don’t have all the answers; but that I’m willing to apologize, I’m willing to search for answers, and that I’m still eager to learn. It’s not easy, it’s tough work, because I’m a stubborn woman, but man, it’s worth it.

Positive feedback vs. rewards – One of my daughters has brought up how other friends have allowances for chores. I always explain to her that we are a family, and if we’re a family, we work together, and we don’t need to be paid for being a responsible participant in our family. I also want my kids to do good things and to be responsible because they want to. Not because they will get paid to. I’m big on finding ways for them to internalize the desire to be a hard worker, and a good person, because that’s what they want to do, or be. I find that internal desires are more effective in the long-term than any external expectations and pressures.

Teach consequences good and bad – We’re big on making sure that when our daughters do something responsible, or unexpectedly helpful, or display good character that we show our gratitude, and our joy. We like them to see how when they behave well, they create goodness around them. Likewise when they’ve made mistakes, we explain and talk to them about how their actions were inconsiderate, or not ok. We never berate them, we teach them through empathy, and they always understand. Learning the consequences of our actions at a young age, helps teach kids to think ahead and to be aware of others, and how they may feel.

What does any of this have to do with a toy subscription company like Pley? When you’re choosing to rent toys there’s the joy of getting something new each time. At the same time, when you return a toy, there’s a level of patience that comes into play as you await the next arrival. In addition, while playing with a rented toy the kids also learn that they have to be conscientious and responsible for that toy, as there are other kids who will play with that same toy. It helps when kids learn to think outside of themselves, and for others. I like that kids can select toys by adding and organizing their queue of toys, it helps them prioritize and be held responsible for the choices they make. It may be a good lesson for kids who are accustomed to buying toys often, to realize the economic sense and choices that go into budgeting, determining value, and managing money responsibly in a family.

With every new Pley subscription, the company donates a toy to a child in need. So not only does your toy subscription help save our landfills, by creating less waste, it also benefits those kids who are in need. This is already sparking meaningful conversations with my girls, as the situation becomes real, because they are now a part of the narrative in doing good.

Like I said, I don’t think I’m ever at a loss when finding opportunities and situations to teach my kids about responsibility. It might take a little more effort to think about how to manage a conversation, but the more it’s done, the easier it becomes. I find that my kids love conversations we have from daily experiences that offer life lessons. They crave it, and our relationship becomes stronger and more united each time we take the time to talk. It’s my responsibility to teach my kids, and I’m grateful that I have that opportunity.

How do you teach your kids responsibility? How do you find those moments? Let us know in the comments.

Cheers!

Have you tried Pley? Will you? If you do, or have, please let me know how you like the service.

I don’t know about you, but I’m counting down the days until spring break. We have two weeks for spring break, and my girls and I love vacations. We enjoy turning off our alarms, and following whatever pops into our heads. With that said, we do like to have a bit of structure, so that we have definite plans to look forward to.

Here are 5 spring break activities, which we hope, will spur your creativity, as you plan for your own spring break.

Gather some friends together and create a music video. My girls love creating entertainment. Visit their channel, Sticky Fingers Productions and you’ll see what I mean. In the past they’ve used the Video Star app. For this app, all you need is an iPhone or iPad, and some creativity and you’ve got a video. The girls tell me that Video Star is the simplest app to use. These days they also love using iMovie. I love that they’re having fun creating. I adore creative kids.

Find a cool trail and go on a hike. Bring your iPhone or iPad with you, and you can record some cool shots while you’re at it. We’re grateful to live near so many beautiful trails.

Visit your nearest big city and enjoy a new restaurant, and/or new food you haven’t tried before. Our family loves trying new things. You never know if you’ll find something new to fall in love with. After your new meal, walk around and see where your feet lead you.

Get creative with new toys from Pley. What could be more convenient? You pick a toy online, they mail it to you, it arrives while you’re out and about. Everyone needs downtime from the hustle and bustle, and Pley can make that happen easily, without the clutter.

Invite friends over for a movie night, or a “create your own” movie night, with snacks, and fun.

What do you think of this list? What are your plans for spring break?

New to a Pley subscription? Check out this unboxing video, created by my daughters, for a sneak peek.

Do you love your school? Right now Pley is also offering a chance for you to nominate your school on their Facebook page, so that your school could win $500 dollars worth of fun educational toys. The school with the most nominations, wins. Deadline is March 25, 2016. Do it now!

Cheers!

Have you tried Pley? Will you? If you do, or have, please let me know how you like the service.

As you likely know, I love the Chinese Zodiac. I love all the characteristics of each animal, and I enjoyed it when my parents told me about the legend of the Jade Emperor when I was a child. So, I was excited to receive The Monkey King’s Daughter by T.A. DeBonis to review for Multicultural Children’s Book Day (MCCBD) which is today, January 27th.

Reviewing The Monkey King’s Daughter is especially timely, as the monkey rules Chinese New Year for 2016. DeBonis takes the legend about the Monkey King and his exploits in the time of the Jade Emperor, and reimagines it for today’s readers. The story follows Meilin Cheng, who is about to celebrate her 14th birthday. Like any teen girl, Meilin deals with the same struggles and frustrations for her stage in life. She also has the added trouble from a classmate who relentlessly mocks her and calls her “chopstick.” As if that wasn’t enough, Meilin, a freshman living in Midland Hills, California, discovers that the legend of the Monkey King is true, and that she, inconveniently, is his daughter. This really complicates her life, as reality and legend collide, often in the most inopportune moments.

The dialogue in the book feels true to real teen conversations, and there are themes about understanding yourself, strengthening your character, and finding confidence that ring through the book. I’m a huge fan of strong female characters, and Meilin is a new character to me, who I’m thrilled to visit in the pages of a book. I was especially entertained when I learned that Meilin has an uncle that is appropriately named, Zhu Bajie.

The Monkey King’s Daughter is the first book of a series of four. The book is ideal for all kids, ages eight and up. In fact, I’m so glad I was introduced to this series, for my daughters to enjoy. According to DeBonis’ website, this first book is optioned for a movie. I personally, can’t wait to see how they bring it to life. The Monkey King’s Daughter has some great action sequences, which would make it supremely fun to watch.

About MCCBD: The MCCBD team’s mission to spread the word and raise awareness about the importance of diversity in children’s literature. Our young readers need to see themselves within the pages of a book and experience other cultures, languages, traditions and religions within the pages of a book. We encourage readers, parents, teachers, caregivers and librarians to follow along the fun book reviews, author visits, event details, a multicultural children’s book linky and via our hashtag (#ReadYourWorld) on Twitter and other social media.

The co-creators of MCCBD are Mia Wenjen from Pragmatic Mom and Valarie Budayr from Jump Into a Book/Audrey Press. Find a bio for Mia and Valarie here. View the Diversity Book Lists and Resources for Educators and Parents here. Connect with Multicultural Children’s Book Day on Facebook.

Classroom Reading Challenge
MCCBD holds a Classroom Reading Challenge. This very special offering offers teachers and classrooms the chance to very easily earn a free hardcover multicultural children’s book for their classroom library. These books are not only donated by the Junior Library Guild, but they are also pre-screened and approved by them as well.

I was given a copy of The Monkey King’s Daughter to review. All opinions, and fun enjoyed from reading the book are entirely my own.

I didn’t expect to fall in love with a movie staring a dinosaur, and an herbivore at that. In the midst of my laughter and tears watching an early screening of “The Good Dinosaur,” all I could think was, “dayum Pixar, you did it again.”

The premise of “The Good Dinosaur” is simple. What if an asteroid that changed life on Earth, missed? What if dinosaurs never went extinct? What if Pixar Animation Studios made you relate to, and feel invested in animated dinosaurs? That last question is not really a “what if” question, because it’s a done deal, you will feel things.

My 9YO daughter and I saw “The Good Dinosaur” together and we spent the bulk of the movie laughing out loud. After the movie I asked her what she thought, what she liked, and I told her how there were parts where I cried. She told me, “Mom, the art was so amazing, and I never usually cry at movies, but this one was so good it made me cry too.” She also told me there were some tense moments, but that she thoroughly loved the movie, and couldn’t wait for the other half of our family to see it.

We were both in awe of the art in this film. The creative gurus at Pixar who work with light, and texture to create a world that seems as real, or more real than the one we live in, deserve major accolades. Well done. I couldn’t stop looking at each blade of grass, and how the light played off it, or how the river water sparkled in the light, and you could see the detail in the riverbed. The photos don’t do it justice. We saw this movie in 3D and it’s worth it to see the expert animation.

image from The Good Dinosaur

“The Good Dinosaur” is told from the point of view of an Apatosaurus named Arlo (voice of Raymond Ochoa) who overcomes his fear, makes an unlikely human friend, and becomes worthy of making his mark with his family.

One of my favorite quotes from the movie was the one where Arlo’s Apatosaurus Poppa (voice of Jeffrey Wright) tells him “Sometimes you have to get through your fear to see the beauty on the other side.” With current events and challenges in our global community, this message is especially timely. When we overcome our fears, we become people capable of kindness, and more apt to see the good around us. The lesson for all of us is that beauty is found beyond the fear.

“The Good Dinosaur” is perfect for the entire family. The message, the humor, and the storyline matter, and after a gratitude-filled Thanksgiving meal, this is a great way to share precious family time together. “The Good Dinosaur,” is directed by Peter Sohn and produced by Denise Ream (“Cars 2”), Disney•Pixar’s “The Good Dinosaur” is currently playing in theaters. Sohn is the first Asian to helm a Pixar movie, and he also wrote and directed the darling “Partly Cloudy” short. The features of the character of Russell from Up, were also based on Sohn.

I also need to make mention of “Sanjay’s Super Team,” directed by Sanjay Patel, the brilliant Pixar short film that you’ll be treated to in theaters when you see “The Good Dinosaur.” First, I’m thrilled to see a short film staring an Indian boy, and his father. The story follows the conflict that arises when youth try to escape the traditions of their parents, and what happens when love unites us, when we employ compromise and understanding.

image from The Good Dinosaur/Sanjay’s Super Team

Honestly Pixar peeps, I don’t think I could love you more, unless you all of a sudden create a short film about my daughters. If that happened I’d melt into a puddle of adoration so fast, you’d need to reanimate me.

WIN A $100 AMAZON GIFTCARD! My fellow #AsianMomBloggers and I have teamed together to giveaway a $100 Amazon giftcard to one of our lucky readers! Enter using the Rafflecopter widget below and make sure to visit their gift guides for even more gifting ideas!

I wanted to share the things that I love, and that help me and my family. This list focuses on gifts that would fit into four categories. Many of us work to focus our families on the real meaning of the holidays. With that in mind we focus our gift giving on something to read, something they need, something to play and something to wear. In that spirit, I’ve tried to curate a list that caters to that. I hope this helps you, as I’m usually notorious for waiting until the last minute to figure out gifts.

Everything on this list is either something we have, and love, or something we have on our own Santa list.

Oh! I almost forgot. (way to bury the lead, Dory brain) My fellow #AsianMomBloggers and I are hosting a $100 giveaway. Yup. Some cash for you to spend this holiday season. Hooray. Keep reading to find out how to enter.

I’m going to start with READ category. I love to read, and I love to read with, and aloud to my kids. Thankfully, my kids enjoy quality books too.

Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco is a children’s picture book, and one of my very favorite Christmas stories. I’ve had this book in our collection for years, and I sob every year when I read it to my girls. Every year. The story follows a Baptist preacher’s family, and their move from Memphis to Detroit. Through a series of what seem like unfortunate events, the family meets a lovely Jewish woman, and eventually, a difficult situation becomes a miracle. The illustrations for Christmas Tapestry set the mood for the winter storm and the family’s trials. They also provide the perfect backdrop for the focus of profound love.

Santa Calls by William Joyce is a fun and sweet children’s picture book. My eyes well up with tears at the end of this one too. Happy tears. This story follows a brother, a sister, and a friend as Santa Claus, also known as S.C., calls them out for an important mission. The adventure restores their faith in Santa, and in each other. This is a great book for siblings who need to rekindle their unity. Santa Calls will warm even the grinchiest of hearts.

Matched Series by Ally Condie is perfect for your Young Adult (YA) dystopian novel lover. My oldest loves The Giver, and The Hunger Games. When she finished the series, she was ready for another. I’d already read Matched, Crossed and Reachedseries of books many years ago, and was thrilled I could share them with her. What I love about the Matched series is how this particular dystopian future is a very clean, almost antiseptic-like place. The vibe transports you there, and as you watch a society where choice has been eliminated erupt in self-awareness, you feel empowered too.

Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt sounds slightly morbid. The cover might give you gothic horror vibes, however Keturah and Lord Death is a case where you definitely shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. This is one of my favorite YA novels. There are so many layers and symbols in this book, if you care to read carefully. Keturah is a smart, empowered young woman who learns so much about the people in her life, and about herself. When I learned that Leavitt wrote the book with her sister, who died at age 11, in mind, the story became even more weighty.

Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George is a lovely reimagining of the an old fairy tale about the Twelve Dancing Princesses. Full disclosure, George is an incredibly talented friend from my university days. She’s always been very creative, and it’s such a treat to love her work. I absolutely enjoy it when authors take an old story, and rework it brilliantly to breath in new life. I loved reading Princess of the Midnight Ball as an adult, I know my young adult self would’ve loved it too.

Silver In The Blood by Jessica Day George is her newest novel, and this one is on my Santa list. I’m intrigued by the premise of two debutante sisters learning about their Romanian ancestors set in the 1800s. Is there Dracula in the mix? What destinies to the sisters pursue? The entire setting for Silver In The Blood is fascinating to me.

Tuesdays at the Castle series by Jessica Day George is absolutely magical and plucky. It follows Celie and her adventures living in a castle that has a mind of its own. Celie has to save her kingdom and her family. Tuesdays at the Castle is perfect for kids ages 8-12. I love the strong characters George writes for both the girls and boys. Her newest Fridays with the Wizards, the fourth book in the series, drops on February 9, 2016.

Magyk by Angie Sage is a book my oldest daughter picked up at the library, and it became the book we read together, each night before bed. I read it first, by myself to find out if it was worth reading aloud to them before bedtime, and I spent so much of the book laughing out loud. The writing is clever, and the humor is spot on. It follows a wizard family through an upheaval of magical politics, and it reveals quirky, and lovable characters who aide in solving a mystery, and overcoming dark magic. I really would love to have a spot of tea with Sage just because I enjoyed reading Magyk so much.

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate was a 2013 Newbury Award winner, and a #1 New York Times Bestseller. Usually those things together mean it’ll come home with me. What sold me, was the unique way in which the story is shared. My daughter loved it. It’s told from the perspective of Ivan, a captive Gorilla. It is sweet, and poignant, and the simplicity of universal truths is done in such an effortless manner, that humans with hearts of all ages, can appreciate The One and Only Ivan.

The Princess in Black series by Shannon Hale and Dean Hale, illustrated by LeUyen Pham is a new take on princess stories. I’m a fan of turning cliches into something new and wonderful. I have yet to own The Princess in Black series, but they are on my list, mostly because I’m a huge fan of Pham as a person, and as an artist. She’s brilliant.

Big Sister, Little Sister written and illustrated by LeUyen Pham is one of our favorite books. I have four copies. Three of them are signed. We love it because, it is the first book we’ve ever found that features girls that look like and act like my daughters. Big Sister, Little Sister is about a sisterly relationship told from the perspective of the little sister, in this case Pham is the little sister. It is sweet, funny, and memorable.

The Mistress of Spices by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni was a gift a thoughtful friend gave me. If ever a reader could be spellbound by a book, this is the one. The story follows Tilo, a woman trained in the mystical art of spices. Tilo is a steward of a spice shop in Oakland, California. She’s able to heal those that seek her care, and discovers who she is in the process. The Mistress of Spices is filled with meaning, phrases, and ideas meant to be savored, pondered, and shared. This most recent read of mine, has burrowed into my heart forever.

Humans of New York by Brandon Stanton is a lovely choice for a coffee table book that you’ll enjoy browsing. If you follow him on Facebook you’ll already be familiar with Stanton who travels the world over taking a photo of a person and learning profound truth, humor, and even changing lives with his ability to get strangers to open up to him, and share their humanity with the world. Humans of New York restores our faith in the beauty of our neighbors.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick is on my list for my husband and let’s be honest, me too. After binging on the Amazon Prime produced series of the same name, I can’t wait to devour this book. The Man in the High Castle provides an alternate reality, asking the question, what if the Allies lost WWII to the Nazis and the Japanese. If you like history, dystopia, and I’m guessing there’s some science fiction as well, you’ll likely dig this novel.

I consider the following items, in the NEED category. I believe we need to take care of ourselves. When we are healthy we are happier, and more able to help others. This list seeks to find ways to help as we do our best to take care of ourselves and our families.

Clarisonic facial cleansing system is fabulous. I finally started using the system this summer, and I’m hooked. I love how much deeper it cleans my skin. Having skin that is properly cleaned improves the efficacy of the facial products I use. I have my daughters use my Clarisonic from time-to-time, because it’s never too early to start a good skin regimen.

Waterpik Water Flosser For Kids works well for my girls. My mother instilled in me a passion for good dental hygiene, and I’m doing it to my kids too. I encourage my daughters to floss with dental floss, and also use the Waterpik. They enjoy how easy it is to use, and know that they only have to floss the teeth they want to keep. So far, looks like my girls would like to keep each tooth.

Barefoot Contessa at Home is one of my favorite Ina Garten cook books. Every dish I make from any Garten recipe, comes out fabulous. So if you know someone who might want to start cooking, or is even slightly interested in food creation, Garten’s Barefoot Contessa at Home is a great start. If you can somehow get me invited over to Garten’s home for a meal, or more, I will gladly owe you big time.

Chatbooks are fabulous little books that come in soft or hardcovers. They’re simple to make, and the quality and the price are hard to beat. They’ve been exclusively for Instagram users, but have opened up the capability to use photos from Facebook and your camera roll. This new update is wonderful, so we don’t have to overgram our lives for our Chatbooks. I love photo books, but I don’t have the time to sit down and create digital books anymore. Chatbooks makes it easy to post the photos I already share. In my case, I have 69 volumes in my home. I love them all. Gift memories to your loved one or yourself. Use code UYCCKLKY to get your first book free! (A quick note, I had ordered all my books over the summer, that’s more than 3000 photos, when Instagram changed some technical thing on their end and Chatbooks had to deal with their own updates, so when my order for all my books arrived, there were blank pages. I contacted customer service, and Chatbooks took care of it. It took a while, as I had to re-do my books, by editing captions and making sure I only included the photos I wanted in the books, but I’m glad they stuck with me, with a friendly attitude the entire time.)

PlanetBox lunch boxes are our favorites. I love that they are eco-friendly, dishwasher safe, and help me create healthy, beautiful lunches for my daughters. We’ve been using our PlanetBox lunch boxes for years now, and are huge fans.

Journals of a Lifetime has a selection of journals that you can gift to those you want to learn more about. As I get older the more I want to learn about my family history. Most parents don’t share much about themselves, which is why I try to share stories of myself growing up, and my experiences when I spend time talking to my daughters. These books seem like such a sweet way of documenting, preserving our histories. I should get these Journals of a Lifetime for my own parents.

As you browse the next selection of gifts, please know that I believe in taking time to PLAY. I believe in finding things worth our time, to play with.

Compose Yourself by ThinkFun Toys is incredible. This game comes with 60 music cards which you can arrange into your own compositions. You can compose it all online by entering the cards you selected, then listen to your original arrangement right away. You even get to chose to hear your arrangement played by a single musician or a full-on symphony orchestra. You also have the option to share your Compose Yourself composition as well. I love opportunities for kids to become creators of media, not mere consumers of media. I have a lot of fun playing with this on my own. I pretend I’m a real composer.

Rush Hour also by ThinkFun Toys is a tactile logic game that is so satisfying. Yes, I’m sure there are apps out there for you to play on your iPad or iPhone, but there’s something about actually touching, and moving objects in real life that reinforces the logic puzzles for our brains. We’ve had Rush Hour for a few years now, and still love it.

Settlers of Catan is a game my brother introduced to my family. We love it. It’s a game where strategy comes into play. Players learn to be clever, cunning, and try their hand at a bit of luck as they work to build the strongest development. If you haven’t played Settlers of Catan with family or friends, it makes for a really good time, especially if you’re the winner.

The Man in the High Castle, an Amazon Original Series is a show I totally binged on and am officially hooked, and dying to hear when the second series is released. Based on the same name novel by Philip Dick it imagines what life would be like had the Allies lost WWII and the Nazis and Japanese carve up the United States. Frightening. Go binge it now, and let’s discuss.

JBL Charge 2+ Splashproof Portable Bluetooth Speaker wasn’t something I thought we’d use very often when my husband brought it home. Boy, was I wrong. We use it all the time. It’s been great to take to parties, camping trips, and use at home to amp up the volume when I play music from my iPhone. It’s even been great for my husband who likes to stay up late and watch TV. He connects the TV wirelessly to the JBL speaker so only he can hear the sound from the TV, and doesn’t keep the rest of us up at night blasting the volume out of the TV. Plus, look at the colorful choices you have. I love color.

Pley is a subscription service full of toys to rent. The toys are building toys, from LEGOS to robotics. If you want to save your sanity and budget, Pley is a great subscription to gift from grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents, friends.

I don’t know about you, but I love getting something cozy to WEAR for the Holidays. Our family always gets new pajamas, but there are some other fun things too.

Artsy Socks for the guy that has to wear suits to work. I think life is better when you have something slightly subversive hiding up your leg. Are you a fan of artsy socks?

Stocking Stuffers

Tile, the key, phone, item finder for my husband. He needs this. I swear, in every marriage relationship there’s one person who always misplaces things. In our family, it’s my husband. Tile is what he needs to get in his stocking this year.

Face Mug because, the cookies fit right into the mug with your milk, or hot chocolate. You can even stuff a donut into your Face Mug.

Simply Gum is a company dedicated to making sure that the ingredients that go into your gum is all natural, and delicious. I didn’t think I would like the ginger gum, as much as I did, and of course mint and cinnamon you can’t go wrong. Do your mouth and body good, chews choose Simply Gum.

Heilala Vanilla for the foodie in your life. Heilala is based in New Zealand. Their vanilla beans come from Tonga, and the company began as an aid project in 2002. They’ve since grown to a company that specializes on pure, quality vanilla, chosen by chefs with a discerning taste. Our family prefers Heilala Vanilla syrup on our pancakes, and whenever I use Heilala Vanilla paste, extract, etc in my baking, it always tastes better.

I hope this list has given you some ideas, or helped you finish your Christmas shopping. While it did take a lot of time and thought, I wanted to make sure each item on this list was something I would recommend, based on my own experience. Thank you for being a part of my world.

Cheers!

While there are some affiliate links, all gifts listed here are things we own, use or are on our Santa list.

This morning went off without a hitch. I do not expect that kind of luck for the rest of the year. Why? I like to snooze. I don’t like to get up before 7am, or 9am for that matter. Today, we made it, and it wasn’t as bad as we expected.

In other news, if you’re in the Sacramento region, check out my daughters and I on KCRA this Sunday, August 16th in the 8-9am hour. We’re talking back-to-school. Hope you tune in!

Since it is Friday, I wanted to share this little bit of parenting fun. Last Saturday was my 20 year, high school reunion. I wasn’t able to attend, but was able to see some of the pictures that were posted from the event. We were sitting in our favorite Italian restaurant in the region, Visconti’s, when I decided to pass the iPhone over to my husband to look at the pictures. He was sitting next to our oldest, K.

Me: *passing my iPhone over to my husband* Ry, do I look as old as some of these people from high school?
K: NO way mom!
Me: Aww, Thank y…
K: You look MUCH older.
Me: *uncontrollable laughter*
Ry: Sweetie, stop. Just stop.
K: No, I mean, you have sun spots on your face, and your white hair is showing.
Me: *Snorting laughter*
Ry: Seriously, stop now.
K: No, I mean, they’re wearing make up, and you aren’t.
Ry: Quit, my dear.
K: They’re all dressed up.
Ry: You’re making it worse every time you open your mouth.
K: What? No, no no, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.
Me: *can’t breathe, laughing too hard*

It was so cute. I was dying of laughter, and when my oldest finally realized what was going on, she was heartbroken, but I still couldn’t stop laughing. She’s so literal, sincere, and honest. I love those things about her. Thank goodness for kids, they keep us humble, and laughing all the time.

Yes, my white hairs are banished once again, and my color is back. Phew! Thank you Jill and Angela at Hoshall’s for fitting me in so I don’t look too old for KCRA on Sunday. Saul has been, and is my guy since 2007; he’s a color magician and his schedule fills up far in advance. So if you had to, like me, cancel a pre-booked appt to get an earlier one, don’t worry, you’re in good hands. Jill and Angela got your back. Yo!

Just thinking about this conversation still makes me giggle. It also reminded me of when I was in Boston with my friend and her family, over the summer. I was telling all the kids how we don’t think of ourselves as old, but our kids think we are. My friend’s son told us he didn’t think I was old, but thought his mother was. So it goes for every parent, and their child. Our kids will always think of us as old. Which, I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel my age. Ha! I love kids. I love their guileless honesty, and their uncensored, unintentional humor.

Would you like to share any conversations you’ve had with your kids along this same thing? I’d love to giggle along with you.

We just returned from two months based in the Boston area. It was an epic summer exploring the East Coast for us West Side peeps. Ry had to work, while we played. More about that later.

For now, those of you that have known me for a while, know… this is my least favorite time of the year. Well, other than… Nope. There is no other than. This is the least favorite. For sure, by one million, billion, gajillion percent.

Yes.

I know.

It’s back-to-school.

I know not everyone wishes for endless, summer days, but man, we love our FREEDOM. We treasure the chance to create our own schedules, and determine our days. So a regimented school day, specific schedules, and other assaults on our time isn’t terribly appreciated.

With all that angst, we do find ways to cope with, and ease the burden.

As I was combing through past back-to-school posts, I realized I never wrote one for last year. Which, is frustrating for me, because my brain has a difficult time recalling in detail, things that happened in the past, unless I write it down, which is why I’m a writer. (Hi, my name is Dory) It’s always a treat for me to go through old photos and posts, because it helps me remember; it transports me right back to events, feelings, and thoughts. Last year was the year I went through the crazy blood clot, so I’ll give myself a break, but man, not writing things down leaves a big old blank spot in my mind.

This back-to-school 2015-2016 year, I’m selecting a series of three Dr. Seuss quotes that I believe will aide my girls as they plow through another year of schooling. I even played on the computer to create some graphics for the girls to hang up in their room, and around the house to remind them of our themes.

2015-2016 Back-to-School Empowerment Theme

Does your family have a theme? What is it?

We did this theme for the 2013-2014 year. I do remember that the theme for 2014-2015 year was “Be Strong and of Good Courage,” because that was the year they started a new school, with a new method of learning, specifically, Montessori. This year it’s about empowerment. I want them to know they hold destiny, and their paths in their hands. I want my girls to know they are strong, and can make their own wise decisions. In fact, I remember another year it was all about making glorious mistakes. I wanted my girls to know that we all make mistakes, and mistakes are no big deal. We have to make them, as we learn. The less we fear mistakes, the more we’re willing to try, and the more we try, the more we succeed.

Aside from our back-to-school theme, Ry gives the girls each a father’s blessing the night before school. It’s a nice way to give them a little more spiritual oomph as they step into a new season of their lives. I’ve always loved receiving father’s blessings, and also love our family prayers we say together each evening, holding hands, kneeling in a circle.

This year, our first day starts this Friday. So I’m in the midst of planning our night before school dinner. I also need to write my notes I like to have them read at breakfast on our first day. The girls still need to decide on their first day outfits, and we have our parent orientation tonight, to learn what supplies and other details for the next school year. Whew! Is it me, or does everything feel like it’s coming a bit too fast?

Back-to-School Tips and Tricks

Part of going back-to-school is utilizing tips and tricks to help the early morning rush, and after school activity managed. My friend Kirsten who is an organizing guru, gave us some tips a few years ago, which I have used ever since. Since I have girls, hair is a last minute thing we do after breakfast, as we’re rushing out the door. It has saved us so much time, having a drawer in the kitchen devoted to a brush, hair bands, bobby pins, etc., easily accessible. Just make sure you keep it full. If you have girls, you know how that stuff ends up all over the place. So sometimes, during the week, I’ll tell my girls to go collect them, and replenish the hair drawer.

One of the things that drives me crazy is the sheer amount of dead trees coming in my door. From junk mail, bills, classwork, flyers, etc. For the kids, Kirsten gave me another tip. Get these boxes from Ikea, pick your size, and keep them in the laundry room, or wherever you come in from, and the kids can put their work they want to keep inside. Then, at the end of the year, just move it into their closet, and voila. You are done with the papers. I like to make them review all the stuff over the summer, to make sure they really want everything inside.

If you follow me on Instagram you’ll see how much I love making lunches. I make lunch for my kids every morning, in addition to hot breakfasts. Why? Necessity. My girls hate cold cereal in the morning. They want warm food, eggs, pancakes, soup, etc., and I want them to eat a healthy breakfast so they can have a good morning of learning. Food and service are my love languages, so creating a colorful, healthy lunch is right up my alley. It makes me feel better, more relaxed and worry-free knowing that they will refuel with food that’ll help them through the afternoon.

I’ve loved using bento-style lunch boxes, and have tried several over the years. Then I discovered PlanetBox a couple years ago, and I’ve gotten rid of the old plastic ones I’ve used. I love PlanetBox. I say this as someone who has never worked with them, or received any incentives. Our family loves the convenience, the design, and ease of use. I love that we are green without even really trying. I find that using PlanetBox helps me create more colorful, more healthy lunches. How do you stay motivated making lunches? What foods do your kids love to eat?

Back-to-School Parenting

So yes, I’m an Asian mom, but I was raised in the U.S. as a first generation immigrant. So I straddle both worlds. I’ve found, that for me, I feel lucky to know both cultures, so that I get the advantage of picking the best things I like, to utilize in my life, and discard those things I don’t want. This means that my daughters are expected to focus on school work, that that is their “job.” I work hard to parent positively, meaning that instead of getting on their case for things they struggle with, I try to work as a coach should, and motivate them to want to improve on their own, or with my help. I also want them to pursue the things they are talented, and/or passionate about. I want to facilitate and grow their gifts, and interests. I feel strongly that their pursuits should be theirs, not mine. They are not versions 2.0 of me. I often feel like my role is to support, and provide opportunities, and then get the hell out of their way. I want to make sure my daughters know that no matter what successes, failures, fears, and triumphs they have, they are wholly, unconditionally loved, accepted and embraced in my heart, and in our home. I will fight for them in school and church, if they feel threatened, if they have teachers or classmates that are disturbing, dangerous, or disastrous. I will commit 100% to any teacher or classroom that is nurturing, and supportive, innovative, and creative.

Every school year I’m reminded, and I pay homage to that first kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Kelly Estes, my oldest had. God bless the teachers with the mother hearts who teach their students so much more than knowledge. May each child be blessed with a teacher like her, and may each teacher like her, have parents who appreciate her.

Let’s face it, not everyone parents the same. That’s something I struggle with. It’s even difficult for my kids, because they are taught to be polite, and well-mannered. We teach them to look out for those that are lonely, and to be kind and unselfish. We focus on making sure we are respectful, we don’t stick our noses in other people’s business, and we don’t go out of our way to be rude. So when other kids are disrespectful, or go out of their way to be annoying, obnoxious or mean to fellow classmates, and/or my daughters, my girls are absolutely baffled and frustrated. They often return home asking me, “Why?” I don’t have any good answers, except to remind them, that we choose not to act that way, and we can learn from that bad behavior by never doing it because of how it makes us feel, and thus we don’t want to act like that to make others feel that way. How do you deal with these issues? How do you discuss them with your kids? What do you do when your kids encounter these kinds of behaviors and you know the parents?

I’d love to hear your thoughts as you deal with the transition back-to-school. There’s such a wealth of information and experience that we can utilize to improve ourselves, and to help each other. Thank you for stopping by, and please, do share your wisdom. I know I am grateful for nuggets of advice, and I’m sure there will be someone who sees your comment and feels less alone.

Good luck, and good wishes to each of us as we strive to survive another school year!

Cheers!

Check out my fellow #AsianMomBloggers’ back to school traditions, tips, and resources:

Especially when I like to stay up in the wee hours of the evening, so I can enjoy some alone time.

Mornings, my bed is just too well-formed, and warm for my body, and my eyes are too heavy to open. My iPhone alarm that wakes me is always garishly loud, even though I have the volume quite low. When I need to use the porcelain throne, I can nearly convince myself to wait a smidge longer, just to linger in bed.

Once I’m finally up and moving, the first place I visit is the guest bedroom.

That’s where my daughters have decided to sleep. They’ve abandoned their separate rooms, and instead snuggle together. We’ve had this happen multiple times in their young lives. I love that they not only love each other, they like each other, most of the time.

All the torture of getting up in the morning is erased when I snuggle between my girls to ease them out of the comforting, blissful throes of dreamland, and into the stark, bright light of reality.

The truth is, I love these quiet moments. I love that each day we can begin again. I’ve loved Anne from Anne of Green Gables since I was a child, and quotes from L.M. Montgomery’s lovely novels have always resonated in my head, nearly all my life.

Parenting is an interesting endeavor. Just when you get the hang of it, the little people change things up on you. In my case, they’re not quite as little anymore.

We hosted a last-minute #DisneySide Villain Valentine Party at our home the Friday before Valentine’s. We had games planned, and activities to do, and then I realized, these kids, ages eight to eleven are at the age where they really don’t need me. They are fully independent.

I don’t know how to feel about that.

I guess a bit bittersweet.

Wait a second.

Let me just put my feet up.

Ahhhh, that’s nice. Wait… did I say bittersweet?

It was a pleasure to have all the food available for them to munch when they wanted, but they did decide to sit down altogether at our dining table. The conversation was so darling, and organic that I didn’t stop them, and I didn’t want to interrupt them. It was interesting to hear them talk about different dreams they had, and hear them make each other laugh. I was so pleased to watch the little grown ups they were turning into.

I had wanted to have them all paint their nails, villain style, but only a few wanted their nails decorated. Some of them wanted to play with our puppies, others jumped on our tramp, and then some of them watched Annie, the old school version.

The only thing they all did together, other than eat, was our little pin the smile on Mickey.

Watching these kids grow up and seeing how kind they were to each other, made me grateful. I know there are exceptions to this, but by and large I have noticed that children who are respectful, considerate, and kind are raised by parents who model, and reinforce those behaviors at home. As a parent who hosts play dates and parties for my kids, I observe behaviors, and I only want to invite back those kids who I enjoy being around too. Granted, there are some that I invite back because my kids enjoy their company, even when I don’t. These are sacrifices we, as parents make. (haha)

It’s okay that not every friend of my daughters’ are ones that I would like to spend time with too. I am learning that letting go of my girls, after I’ve taught them the character skills I hope they continue to hone, is a lot easier, and more thrilling than I had anticipated.

Who knew?

I do have to thank my mother for these lessons. She instilled in me the importance of being helpful. She always shared her stories of invitations to her professors homes with her classmates. At the end of a dinner, you could always find my mom, in the kitchen, helping to clean up. My mom told me, if you want to be invited back, you help pick up after yourself, you help the host, to show your gratitude by deed, not just by word. Before we went to anyone’s home, she always reminded us to be helpful, and polite. It’s the same chat I have with my daughters too. When my daughters notice people they know not doing the polite thing, I simply use those examples as a lesson of what not to do, and ask them how it feels to have someone over who isn’t thoughtful, polite and kind. I turn it around and ask them, if you don’t like how it felt, would you do the same to someone else? Turns out they get a lesson on villains, and heroes too.

Cheers!

Big Thank you to #DisneySide organizers MomSelect and sponsors for helping us host this party. I was sent a box of materials to help me host this party, and all opinions are my own.

We started school last Wednesday, August 7th. Before school started my oldest wrote a little poem, which she glued to a pin she wore before the first day.

We have a tradition where the night before school the kids both receive a father’s blessing for the new school year. I love it. The girls sometimes giggle, and smile during their blessings. Okay, fine. I do peek at them.

Last year our school theme was “Be not afraid, only believe.” This year I hadn’t found anything that struck my fancy, until I saw this poster my friend Vanessa posted on Facebook.

I love this theme. I have a large white sheet of paper on our pantry door for the girls to write things they do that demonstrating how to “Let Your Light Shine.” It makes us happy.

The night before school big sister taught her younger sister how to finger knit.

We had a healthy dinner.

The night before the first day of school there was plenty to be done. I baked my friend Lindsay’s chocolate chip banana muffins for the girls’ snack. I made the lunches the night before to save my sanity in the morning.

I proofed Trader Joe’s croissants for breakfast and to share with our new teachers.

It was appropriately overcast when we had to be up at the bum-crack of dawn. 6:30am is much too early. All summer long I had friends that knew that if they tried texting me before 9 am, they’d likely not hear back until 10 or 11 am. We really dig our morning sleep.

We took our requisite first day of school photos.

When the girls returned home, happy, they handed me two packets of forms to fill out. So, I did what any mom who was suffering sleep deprivation, and had forms to fill out does… I rewarded myself with some gelato.

We survived three days – the picture below is Friday’s shot. We’re still smiling, and chilling.

While we all desperately miss our freestyle summer, I’m incredibly grateful that both my girls have good teachers again this year, and good friends as well. As parents that’s what we hope for, and worry over.

I don’t know about you, but this year, there’s this breathe of fresh air that’s whipped through our home… it lingers all around us with a scent of hope and possibilities.

Have you started school? When do you start? What does your first day, and week look like? We start our first full 5-day week today.