Reports of ghost in Malaysian paddock

Reports are emerging from people in the Malaysian Grand Prix paddock that a ghost is haunting several teams, and causing disarray amongst the drivers.

Ferrari, for example, reported a theft of confidential data from its headquarters, later confimed to be several boxes of ice-cream and Coke cans. The ghost then left the building, knocking over a small child in the process, before going off to a local bar to borrow some vodka.

Drivers have attempted to communicate with it, believing that is a former F1 driver, but so far it ha made absolutely no change in expression since it turned up this morning.

This ghost also makes mumbling sounds everytime anyone comes near it, occasionaly saying “for sure”. Martin Brundle attempted to ask it where it had been, and it replied “I was having a shit”.

In other news, one driver failed to appear in time for the start of the Jordan Rally, because he simply could’t be bothered to show up. He then appeared after the second day, and just stood around yawning.