Followers

Top Commenters

Blog Roll

Monday, July 7, 2008

Ok, I've got to share about a very special room in our house. It's a room that gets a LOT of usage. Can you guess? Yes, the laundry room gets a lot of use, but it's not constant. I kind of go in waves with laundry. Let it pile up....then wipe it out in one fell swoop...then let it pile up again. But, nope, not the laundry room.

The den gets lots of traffic, kids playing, TV watching, dog chillin', you get the idea. But, that's not the room that gets the most continuous usage...

It's the bathroom, the john, the HEAD, the commode, the sh*tter. More specifically, it's the master bath, MY bathroom. Now, let me start by saying, for the last eleven years of my marriage, I have lived in tiny apartments with one bathroom. ONE bathroom. And, with two boys and a always-busy-bowel hubby, that kept that one room constantly occupied. And messy. One time my oldest son and I both got the throw-up/diarrhea virus, and we had to take turns...he ended up sleeping on the floor in there...it wasn't pretty, my friends. We'll move on now...

So, now we have a bigger home with three bathrooms. Yes, THREE bathrooms. It's luxurious to say the least. It feels sinful. Of course, now my elderly father has moved in, so there are five of us, but still, three bathrooms is MORE THAN ENOUGH. It makes me so happy.

However, the boys still seem to think we have only ONE bathroom. It's puzzling to say the least. Everyone comes to our bathroom to do their business. It has a constant flow of traffic (except for my dad). And, this leads to not only me often sitting down on a wet seat (because my boys have poor aim) but it also leads to a plethora of reading material stored in there.

So, I want to share with you today the varied books and magazines that are currently stacked in my bathroom.

First, My Wall Street Journal and OED are in there to read, because that's all I read...ok, just kidding. I have a few books in there...because I'm always reading, and I've always got more than one book going at a time. They're usually mysteries or smutty fiction or urban fantasy or an occasional Dummies book to tell you how to get your life in order someway or another. I don't pee on the seat, I keep things neat and piled, and I don't leave a mess when I'm done.

Now my hubby. (He doesn't read this blog, or he might kill me.) So, with his being a lawyer and all, maybe I'll say it this way, so I don't get in trouble. HYPOTHETICALLY, there might be man in my life who uses my bathroom and leaves his reading material in there, along with coffee spills and the damn fan running nonstop, never to be turned off. Hypothetically. Allegedly. Quid pro quo.

I'm always wiping up these coffee stains he doesn't seem to notice (please, god, let them be coffee and not something else brown and wet). And, I find the fan running and have to turn it off...all the time. (I'm not convinced that fan thing really works, by the way.) His reading material falls more along the lines of The Art of Cross Examination and funny books by Kinky Friedman, Stephen Colbert and Borat.

Then there are a few articles on the dangers of smoking and how to quit that I printed from the computer and left in strategic places for hubby to find and read...the bathroom being one of them. He read them...and they weren't thrown away...YET. I leave lots of helpful little articles like that for him to read. He never knows what he's going to find in there.

Then, there's the kids. OH boy, here we go. They either have poor eyesight or just can't control their peepees because I'm amazed at where the pee ends up. And, no one seems to believe in lifting the seat anymore, so the seat gets wet with dribbles, and guess who ends up with a wet butt? Me, the sitter. I'm getting better at looking first, but I still don't always. It's never, ever a nice surprise.

Now, Remy (who's six) doesn't read in the bathroom. Instead, he disappears in there and chatters away. To himself or an imaginary friend, I'm not sure. I just now he starts jabberin' away and doesn't stop. I seriously need to record it (just from outside the door, not invading privacy, people!). We all giggle just listening to him go on and on so cheerfully. It's his happy time. He even sings.

Donny (who's elven) reads. Donny has left lots of reading material in my bathroom. There's the Kids National Geographic magazines, which are so cool that I end up reading them too. I've learned some really neat stuff in there. Seriously.

Then he has a small book full of facts about Space and a huge book called Big Book of Living Things that he is always quoting info from. He has one of these in the car that's similar, so I get to hear ALL about as we drive errands. Nonstop facts zipping over my head...

The look on Donny's face when he saw this book I bought for him. (Remember, he's eleven) He told me he was NOT reading it.

But, you see, here's the thing, he was sick and missed school the day they had the sex education video and talk at school, so someone has to teach him these things right? I was hoping to leave it to the school but I guess I'll have to be the parent and do my job.

So, I told we could either have THE TALK or he could read the damn book. He chose to read the book.

There are sections labeled:

What is sex?

Our Bodies.

Puberty

Familes and Babies

Decisions

Staying Healthy.

It covers being straight or gay, different body types, what kind of physical contact is ok or not ok, how making babies happens, what your body goes through during puberty, etc. Excellent illustrations. And, I've told him to ask me any questions he has...or ask his dad.

Now that I think about it, you can learn a LOT in our bathroom. You never know what you might find in there...just look before you sit down, ok? Can't say I didn't warn you.

93 comments:

Three bathrooms????THREE?3!?Really!!?? You lucky girl!We have one. :( And there are SIX of us here.It's sad. I'd be afraid to leave reading materials in there. Eeew. Hub does tho. I think there's a motorcycle manual, one of the Lord of the Rings books and one other but I'm not touching any of them. I'll just clean around them, ick, yuck, bleh

since you have so many bathrooms already, i say you chalk this one up to being a den... or library for the family forget the the bathroom part... you will have less cleaning to do too!! :) lol

i love all the things that your family does in the bathroom... WAIT!!! not THOSE things...you know the reading, the coffee, the chatting, more reading... those things...yeah I'm not that sick to enjoy the other things!! lol

Trevor is going to be 5 the end of September and he reminds me of Remy... how he can be in there and talk and talk and talk and sing and make silly noises and do it for a LONG time!! :) I guess they are truly happy children!!

yay!!

I like the book you got for Donny... although I have a while till my children are going to need a book like that... at least I hope I have a while, I think I might get it and put it up so I do have it when it is time. :) Trevor has said/asked a few things about how his sisters got here, and also about maybe getting a brother... and how would I get him "out"... but nothing really too big... b/c he is only 4, but I just want to be totally honest and upfront with my kids so that hopefully they will be that way with me. :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog this weekend! Your bathroom is crazy educational! LOL! I never knew people actually kept reading materials in the bathroom until I was a teenager. We never had books or magazines in the bathroom at my parents house!

I'm SO glad to know that other people have wet seats...er, toilet seats, and the floors around it. Mine are that way constantly with four boys...seriously, is it really that hard to LIFT the seat? Puhleeze. Oh, and it doesn't get better as they get older. My 13-yr old is the worst habitual offender with wet seats and....not flushing.

Without going into gross detail...I swear it's large enough to look like he's delivered...something...

Kat - I haven't seen the movie but hubby did and loved it. I thought about putting up pictures of my smut books but didn't want to shock my grandmother who reads my blog sometimes. And, yes, I need to kick the boys out of our bathroom, I just haven't had the heart to do it yet. My dad IS elderly, he's 78!! He had me when he was pretty old.

Sidney - We should form a wet seat club...or not. Let's just get these boys to stop with the wetness. It's sooo gross!! And, you're poor 13 yr old, if only he knew that you just commented on what he had "delivered." rofl Good luck with your mom moving in! It's worked pretty well for us having my dad here. He's pretty disabled though and needs some help.

April - I know, what's up with the fan? I swear it doesn't do much help anyway. :o)

Ok now...now try visiting my in laws. They insist the WHOLE family visits on holidays and get offended if anyone wants to get a hotel room. So imagine 15 people (6 of them children) crammed into a 4 bedroom home with ONE bathroom! You'll be glad it's just a wet bum is all you have. Trust me. At least you get reading material..haha!

Hmmm...not sure where to begin. We don't seem to do the reading thing in the WC. I never understood the appeal. I mean, the longer you sit, the more the legs go numb....numb legs trying to stand up, well, too much can happen, none of it good! Thanks for stopping by The Front Porch!

I am lucky I guess because my husband is at the 'age' where he mostly sits down to pee. Yes, sits. My son is grown and out of the house but he was the worst about wetting the seat. I don't know how many times I got the wet seat mostly in the middle of the night or right before bed. UGH!

Since I work where a lot of truck drivers can and do use our bathroom I keep the toilet seat UP by using my boot. That way there isn't a chance of sitting in a stranger's pee, that is just too gross. I also keep a spray bottle full of 1/2 bleach and 1/2 water and clean the seat several times per day. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!

Glamorous WAHM - Thanks for your compliments! We waited a long time to upgrade from a small apartment, and even now we're only renting. But, I love my new home.

The Hunter's Wife - Well, there's something to be said for getting in and out and getting your business done quickly. hehe

Debbie - I'm the one who has brough it up with my kids...I want them to be able to talk to me and ask me questions...but they're also boys and it might be easier for them to talk to their dad about it. Or not. Maybe it's just never a comfortable topic.

Trailboss - I see men sit down to pee before. HYPOTHETICALLY my husband might do the same. Eww about the truck drivers...I'd have that spray bottle ready too.

We've got three "libraries" also, but only two get used the most. My mom lives with us about 4 months out of the year. I make my boys clean their own library, I got tired of wiping up drips. Hunting mags, Reader's Digest, Texas Parks and Wildlife mags take up the most room. Love your blog!

Ok - this is FREAKING hilarious! Not only because of the eclectic Bathroom Book Collection, or the theoretical actions of one such man in your life - but because I too, gave my oldest son the choice of a BOOK or "THE TALK". He too chose the book. I laughed so hard I cried at this one! Good to know I am not alone out there!

Wow! Your wealth of information bathroom sounds much better than my guilty pleasure bathroom filled with People, US Weekly and OK Magazine! Well, I guess you could still learn about the birds and bees from my magazines too.

Secondly, you are SO right - those bathroom fans do NOT work. They do make an annoying noise until Mom goes around the house to shut them off, however. But they can't even handle any...fragrances produced by my five year old's adorable hindquarters. I mean, yeah, she does eat a lot of fruit and veggies as well as a fair amount of refried beans, but still...

Happy SITS day! And boy, what I would give to have little boy pee on the seat. Hmmm, can you tell I'm in the midst of potty training (and twin boys, no less!)...pee on the seat would be a big step of from pee on the, well, everything :)

OMG too funny. As someone much older I feel well qualified to give this advice- BOYS have one bathroom that is NOT MINE (Yes, I make hubby use his office bathroom). My girls have their own for all the messy things (showers, etc.) and they can use mine in an emergency but NOT for number 2. No one can stink it up, period. Boys can NEVER use mine (not even in an emergency, and not even Ian whom I adore).I would say it is because I am a wussy weanie and that offending odors make me gag something fierce, but really it is that I just don't play well with others.I am so glad I found you through SITs today. You are hysterical.

OK - this is something I've missed out on because I cannot, for the life of me, read in the bathroom. When I go, I just go and leave. I spent the smallest amount of time in there as possible. Same with my girls. My husband? He spends a little longer, but not long enough to read anything.

OMG, you're just like me. You can make a blog post about ANYTHING. This is the first one I've seen all about the crapper, but I loved it! But, um... one question? What the hell is hubby doing with coffee while he's poopin'? Can't he leave it in the kitchen for a while, then go back to it? Pee pee on the seat I can understand, but coffee? Nope, just can't wrap my brain around it! LOL!And where do you KEEP all these books and magazines in the bathroom?Great post!!!!!!!!!!

LOL...that's funny...The only person that really reads in the bathroom is my son, and it's usually one of his Star Wars books...of course there are times he takes in SEVERAL and I think...how long does he plan to be in there?? As for DH he also leaves the fan and the light on...and occationally get's a little side tracked and forgets to flush, but that's another story.

This is a great post. My bathroom is filled with my reading material, hubby brings his in and continues reading when he leaves. I don't know how you do it with all of the traffic in there. I mean now that you have 3 bathrooms seems like the boys could just use their own -that would alleviate the drips and dribbles on the seat, yes?

How funny!! Neither my husband or I are "bathroom readers" as we both believe in getting in and out as quickly as possible. The only time I read in the bathroom is when I need a time out and I am hiding. It's the only room with a locking door.

How funny!! Neither my husband or I are "bathroom readers" as we both believe in getting in and out as quickly as possible. The only time I read in the bathroom is when I need a time out and I am hiding. It's the only room with a locking door.

I never leave reading material in the bathroom. That's like admitting to everyone that I need reading material in the bathroom. I do take a book wherever I go, so of course I take on in there, it's just that I take it right back out, too.

I remember this one...the Borat book...I think I have a crazy sense of humor, so I laughed at the movie. But it's not for everyone. My hubby reads the labels on soap and shampoo bottles during his "man time" ...lol!!

LOL at the fan running continuously! I can totally relate to a certain man that might be in my life that might, maybe do that too...ha ha...

And THANK GOODNESS for Clorox wipes!

I think it's hilarious that he takes his coffee in there too! I couldn't!

We have a friend that hilairously admitted to us that when he does his business, he has to strip...ha ha..."get comfortable". Too funny. He totally thought it was the norm. Ha ha...still too funny! I don't know...maybe I'm the only one that doesn't do this!

I'm so inspired by all the reading material. You guys are bringing back memories of growing up. There was always a Reader's Digest in our bathroom. LOL!

Ok girl that is absolutely hilarious. I thought I was the only one who had to look before I sat. And just so you know, we have 2 bathrooms in our apartment and everyone seems to want to use MY master bathroom, mine!! My son in particular. And I'm pretty sure when I potty trained him I taught him the whole lift the seat thing yet he never seems to want to do it. Just lazy!!!

We have three also, but everyone tends to congregate to the first floor one... NO one wants to go upstairs... And we have a plethora of mags also that range from IT mags to Highlights to Family Fun... so we all have something to read.

When I was a teenager still living at my parents' house, I had a younger brother that made it quite interesting to use the bathroom - no aim whatsoever! I got in the habit of wiping the seat every time I went, whether it looked wet or not. Even now, I still occasionally find myself thoroughly inspecting the seat when I visit (said brother is 8 years old now). Lotsa fun!

We have two bathrooms for six of us. There are reading materials in each one. Unfortunately the hall bath, the one that was designated the kids' bath, has been overrun by one unruly teen, so that the other three children use the master grown-up bath for everything. They even keep their toothbrushes in there. I could sooo use a third bath.

I'm a big fan of bathroom reading material and it seems like you have quite the eclectic library!!My brother used to do the same thing Remy does in the potty...we also would have a great laugh at the poor little guy's expense...we still tease him to this day.I think it is time for you to claim a throne and banish all desenters!!

Yep, it's amazing. We have 3 bathrooms too including one that is specifically for my boys, yet my kids will walk clear upstairs and across the house to use our bathroom. I think it's a territorial thing. I finally started charging them - 50 cents a pop. Now they mess up their own bathroom.

This post just reminded me that I sprayed bathroom cleaner on the commode in my kids' bathroom earlier tonight and forgot to go back in to finish cleaning. I had better get back to that before one of them has to go to the bathroom! Thanks for the reminder!

LOL! You should just set up a book case in there. Luckily my kids haven't caught on to reading in the bathroom. They just get in and get out. I'm sure that will change soon with a 13yo boy and a soon to be 11yo girl. The 7yo is the one who needs to work on his aim. :-)

Great post! My bathroom would also be the most busy place in my home. We have five people using one bathroom. My oldest daughter has OCD and she goes to the bathroom ever 15 minutes, sometimes to pee, make poo poo (remember the Potty Book), and other times just to reorganize everything in there. My husband told me instead of moving into another home where she can have her own bedroom, he wants to get her a bathroom she can sleep in.

Oh too funny! Have you thought about relegating yourself to a different bathroom? ;)

It's funny because when I was growing up, I was rarely allowed in my parents' bedroom and NEVER in their bathroom. My wee ones prefer using the master bathroom for whatever reason (without having been invited but I'm ok with that). Including in the middle of the night.

Good to know we aren't the only ones! No reading materials yet at least!