16 most amazing team names in minor league hockey

16 most amazing team names in minor league hockey

With the NHL season kicking off soon, and plenty of players fighting to make rosters, we wanted to take a moment and appreciate the teams that those not lucky enough to make the NHL roster would be headed to. The minor leagues of hockey.

If you’ve seen Goon or Slap Shot, you know about the wildness of minor-league hockey. While we can’t get all the minor-league war stories printed here (for legal purposes), we wanted to look at the best team names in the lower leagues and celebrate them for their weirdness and brilliance.

16. Charlotte Checkers

The Charlotte Checkers play in the AHL and they’re located, obviously enough, in Charlotte, North Carolina. They made the playoffs last season, but lost in the first round. Bummer. Their name isn’t totally ridiculous, which is why they only sneaked in at 16. Mostly it’s funny because their name sounds like Chubby Checker, and he recorded “The Twist“, one of the better songs ever. So there.

15. St. Charles Chill

This team plays in St. Charles Missouri and they just, like, want to have a good time, you know, bro? Like hang out, skate around, maybe score some goals. It’s more about the laid-back vibe, you know? No big thing.

14. Syracuse Crunch

The guy in the logo above is “Crunchman,” who is the Crunch’s mascot. He looks sort of like IceMan. But he’s not IceMan. He’s Crunchman. Our bet is that the team wanted to go with Cap’n Crunch as the mascot but then the powerful Big Cereal lobby struck that idea down.

13. Mississippi RiverKings

That is one angry turtle with a little crown on its head for a mascot. Also, we applaud the RiverKings for not putting a space between “River” and “Kings.” The name is much funnier this way.

This is our second team in this list from the Southern Professional Hockey League (SPHL), and we aren’t even close to done with teams from that league.

12. Toronto Marlies

So Wikipedia tells us that the Marlies were named after a former junior league hockey team called the Toronto Marlboros, but they didn’t want to be confused with the cigarette company so they changed it to the Marlies. Somewhat related: Did anyone see the movie Marley and Me? It was OK.

11. Fort Wayne Komets

This team sounds like a laundry detergent.

10. Toledo Walleye

A walleye is a fish, and the Toledo Walleye is a great name for a hockey team. One, because they went with the proper plural and didn’t tag the “S” on the end. Two, because the name allows them to use a comical fish character with a missing tooth for a mascot. We really hope his name is Wally the Walleye. YEP. We Googled it. His name is Wally the Walleye. Perfect.

9. Brampton Beast

Alliteration for the win!

8. Orlando Solar Bears

See what they did here, guys? They took Polar Bears, but then they changed it to Solar Bears because it’s hot in Orlando and, you know, the sun. See, guys, it’s a play on words. Guys?

7. Florida Everblades

Just a touch more clever than Solar Bears. Their mascot isn’t as cool as the flexing Solar Bear, of course, but Everblades is pretty genius. Also, we’re pretty sure that alligator has skate laces for a nose.

6. Lake Erie Monsters

The Monsters is an under-utilized nickname in professional sports. What’s more terrifying than a monster? Nothing. That’s what. And look, they have a Pokemon for a mascot. That’s pretty cool.

5. Louisiana IceGators

Is an IceGator a totally ridiculous concept? Yes. Do you want a Louisiana IceGators jersey? Yes. Yes you do. We all do.

4. Columbus Cottonmouths

While this team may sound like a truly terrible rock-rap group, they are actually named for the North American cottonmouth snake, which is a venomous species of pit viper that lives in the Southeastern U.S. See, we learned something here today.

3. Rockford IceHogs

The only thing funnier than an IceGator is an IceHog. Look at that mascot. We wonder if, when they lose, their fans call them the IcePigs. That’s what we would do.

2. Fayetteville FireAntz

The FireAntz are a wonderful thing to be named for, partially because it’s misspelled and mostly because it’s funny to imagine a bunch of tiny little ants in skates on an ice rink.

1. Wheeling Nailers

Perhaps best known from the Coyotes’ Paul Bissonnette’s Twitter profile, the Wheeling Nailers is a team that plays in the ECHL. They used to be called the Wheeling Thunderbirds, but a name dispute with another team led them to hold a contest where fans submitted names to the team. Due to the town’s history as nail manufacturers, and perhaps showing that the club has a pretty good sense of humor about things, they landed on the Nailers, and they’ve been the Nailers ever since 1996.

The Nailers finished just over .500 last season and missed the playoffs, but they can take pride knowing they have the best team name for any minor league hockey team out there. Go on you Nailers!

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