Discussion Threads

Transcripts of some of the discussions on
CYC-Net's email discussion group

Translate this page

Enduring in the field

Recently I was talking to a friend about another
friend who was off on stress leave, or burn-out. We were thinking about
colleagues who have 'fallen along the way' and those who have continued on.
It got me to wondering about resilience, or endurance, or just simply
lasting, in child and youth care work.

I would be interested in hearing from some 'long
timers' about how you kept alive, refreshed, engaged with the field of child
and youth care practice. What's your secret?
Thom Garfat
...

Well, Thom, I have only been in the field for 17 years.
I'm not sure that that qualifies for "long timer". But, I work out three to
four times a week. Working out helps me deal with some of the stress. Next,
I try to keep in mind that my work is only part of my life, not all of it.
Try not to get involved in politics at work, it's a big stressor. I like to
try and have fun, fun, fun, at work, not take everything too seriously. I
like to joke with co-workers. A good sense of humor goes a long way. I like
to learn new things to help keep me motivated and excited about my work.
There's a lot of information out there. Also, it helps to take courses that
are not feild related, there's more to life than work; keep a good balance
between work and fun. Sometimes, though, there are times when a stress leave
helps. I once needed to take over six months off from work due to stress.
The stress was coming from how I was not coping with the superviser I had at
that time. Now, I do not take things so personaly. I am not repsonsible for
other people's behaviours and actions. This is just some of what I think
helps me stay in the field. I hope to be in it for many more years.

Donna Lewis
...

Having been around for some years, here are some of the
factors that I think have kept me involved:

Recognizing the open-endedness and dynamicism
of the field of human development. The field is not highly circumscribed
and invariantly established. Rather, like a child itself, it's
constantly growing, changing, having the potential to branch out in
multiple pathways and directions. That makes it exciting.

The needs for applied work are so incredibly great
and compelling - for defining, articulating, reviewing, changing such
work and trying to get the field, or emergent profession established
systemically. That makes it challenging.

There are multiple options for practice in a
life long career - various kinds of direct work, and at various levels;
various populations to work with ( as the field emerges into a full
profession of applied developmental work or developmental care in the
life span) and multiple roles to serve in. That makes it possible.

There are unique and special people working in
the field. he friendships, the collaborations, the sense of being part
of something larger than oneself, the presence of a unifying spirit.
That makes it a community.

Karen VanderVen
...
Good question, simply said ... perserverance and keeping focused on the kids
not on myself. Knowing full well we have the power over our attitude, I
practice self talk, meditate and do yoga..these are great pers. stress
vanishers.
Too blessed to be stressed,

Jane Zicarelli-Knaub
...
Dear Thom,
Our Village fathers are away on a course and are best suited to respond. I
myself spent 14 years in Child Care, then got out and taught, and then
worked 12 years for a Brewery. Perhaps beer is the answer. Seriously, very
few can last more than 5 to 7 years! Regards,

Derek James
...

Hello, I have been in the field for 10 years. for
myself, its change. I worked with special needs for 9 years and just changed
jobs (with slow learners). I feel like a new person. I think just a
different work environment and/or new clients helps a lot. Another important
point is not to take anything too personally, that creates alot of stress.
However, there have been times that I have considered leaving the field.

C.C.
...

Dear Thom:
I consider myself a lifer - and, I believe the ability to endure comes out
of our ability to adorn many different hats/faces and roles. The ability to
disengage - and walk out the door leaving behind that child and youth worker
hat, picking up the personal hat you left at the start of your shift. I see
it as very clear and defined boundaries. Some can integrate successfully -
most who try to wear both hats at once do not last.

Diane Parris
...

I have been at my facility for 4 years now. For us that
makes me an old timer. The employee turn over rate is around 75% (pitiful).
I have seen over 20 people turn over from my team and I often wonder what I
have that they don't? What makes me more tolerant of the surroundings and
the "Adult Abuse"? When I ponder it these things come to mind.

1. I am there for myself. This may seem selfish to some
but if your not in it for yourself who are you in it for? When I state this
I mean I get a tremendous sense of pride overcoming the challenges that
these clients present to me. I know that I am making a difference in the
lives of my clients and that knowing me make me and them a little better. I
love to see the long term changes of these clients as they progress through
treatment.

2. I don't sweat the small stuff and take each shift as
a new beginning. I also don't take anything the clients say about me
personally as I know they are just reacting from their own issues.

3. So far I have refused to be involved with any moves
that may cause me additional stress. My fellow employees may laugh at this
sometimes but I have turned down promotions and moves that I knew were going
to cause me more work. I have to save something for me.

4. I refuse to work extra shifts. I commit a large
portion of my life to the clients and my days off with my wife and little
girl are precious to me, they are what recharges me.

5. At the end of good shifts and bad shifts I treat
myself to work out time and slurpees. You have to remember to treat
yourself, your staff team as well as the clients.

6. I do stuff with my peers outside to the work
atmosphere. Rant night at the bar once a month does wonders for the soul.

7.I ensure clear boundaries. I always remind my clients
that I am their worker first, and a friend second and I always act in their
best interest and they may not always like me for it. Nothing personal.

8. Most important is humor/humor/humor!!!Never take
anything so seriously as life is too short to stress over things you cannot
change. We can only effect the present, not the past and not the future.

If these things seem all about me, you're right, this is
why I have been able to survive as long as I have.

What drags me down? Agency politics and poor government
interventions and policies that are both detrimental to the clients and
myself. These I have very little control over and I have learned to accept,
ignore and jump through all the right hoops to eventually get my way.

Hope this is helpful

Neil Hosler
...

My name is Chris and I've been in the field for 10
years. I don't know if you think that's a long time but I do. The thing that
keeps me fresh is movement and change. I need new challenges to keep up my
skills and build new ones. The things that keeps me coming back for more is
the kids. They always have something they teach me about myself. The one
thing that excites me the most is the fact that you never know what your
walking into from day to day. There is always something new about the shift.
I think if there comes a time when that excitement is not there it is time
to move to a new experience. When dealing with the kids I things its very
important to be able to separate yourself from them. I mean this in terms of
awareness of self and how I'm affecting the people around me. The
individuals that I've seen who have no idea how they are affecting the other
around them are in my opinion very scarey. The stress that I feel is caused
by the other staff and the organizations that I've been apart of (things
like adminstration and red tape etc).

I'm sure that I could say more but this is all for now!

Hope it's what your looking for!

Christine Seibel
...

After 30 plus years in the field, here is my "off the
top of my head" list of do's and don'ts:

Don't take it personally. Reframe problems as
challenges. Seek new challenges (I find that a major new challenge about
every 3 years keeps me going - and these might not be positive challenges -
such as budget cuts, doing more with less, etc.). Get involved locally,
state or province-wide, nationally with other professionals - build networks
outside your agency. Leave your job at work - you can think about it at
home, go out after work and talk about it with coworkers, be obsessive with
"learning every aspect" for a few years but eventually need to develop other
"hobbies". Always be open to learning new skills, refining your knowledge
base, participating in training (pick an area of interest and do training in
it) - never think you know it all" or know "enough". See yourself as a
professional with a role outside your agency and communicate with and
network with your peers. Have some fun (in an appropriate way) and don't
take it personally.

Steve Cable
...

Thom,
You are just making an assumption that we are alive, refreshed and engaged.
As a "long timer", I just have more experience looking alive, refreshed and
engaged. Excuse me while I attend yet another meeting and "continue on."

Jon Deactis
...

What would you consider to be "long timers"? 10, 15, 20
years? I am reluctant to reply in case I don't fit the long timer criteria.
Ron Moore
...

Good topic. It may take you a while to get replies, as
the question requires a lot of reflection. I know my reply will be written
in chunks".

I graduated in 1986 with a BSW. My intention was to work
in child and youth care for one year. My rationale was that if I was going
to work in the Child Welfare field, I owed it to my future 'clients' to know
their turf in order to be effective in any type of decision making process
that would affect their lives. In 1988 I became a Certified Child and Youth
Care Worker through CYCAA. I was also promoted to supervisor in my
residential placement.... Today, several promotions later, although not
directly front line, I am still very much involved in this field and proudly
consider myself a child and youth care counsellor. I'll get close to
answering your question sometime soon...

I think that there are "lifers", such as myself, and
then there are those who come in to the field, do some solid learning and
good work for a couple to five years, then move on. I think that this is
great! I truly believe that this field is a gift. We have people willing to
get into the field, be committed and do a good job. So that every thing that
they have the opportunity to learn in that time they are able to take with
them, and all the skills they have are totally transferable to any field or
career path. So with this, they become better and more understanding
teachers, lawyers, administrators, parents, lumberjacks, etc. They become
better people for having given to this field, even if for just a brief time.
Thanks for the visit! Using this field as a 'stepping stone is a good thing.
So why do people burn out? ? They don't recognize when to move on ? They
have stopped learning ? They have lost their "balance" ? They have stopped
believing in what they do ? They have forgot why they got in this field in
the first place ? They don't believe that they are making a difference ?
They may have allowed themselves to be put on a path that wasn't of their
choosing ? and so on...

And what keeps us happy campers alive, refreshed and
engaged?

I appreciate and respect the incredible gift that
I have been given to be able to work with these children, youth and their
families
I learn something new every day
I have my head screwed on straight, know when to go home and have boundaries
and priorities
I know that what I do is a "good" thing
I remember why I'm here
I know I have made, and still am making, a difference
I've chosen my path
I value what I do and know that I'm good at it
I don't expect my needs to be met from the children, youth, families or
staff that I work with
and so on...

So Thom, thank you for reminding me to remind myself how
lucky I am to be in this field. Take care.

Respectfully,

Pati Chrusch-Page
...

I think the 'secret' is a bit different for each person.
However, there have been a few things that I've noticed over the years that
may help to answer your question.

First, the ability to maintain perspective when working
with very difficult clients over long periods of time is essential. Knowing
or understanding that the client that is calling you names or attacking you
today will, with patience and effort, become a much better person over time.
Gaining this sort of perspective is very difficult for new staff in
particular.

I've worked with severely disturbed children and youth
for over 20 years. I've given former female clients away at their weddings,
have become the god-parent of several children of former clients, have been
to college graduation ceremonies of former clients, get letters from former
clients who are in the military and from those who are working jobs that pay
much better than mine, etc. All of these people were in a very desperate
place when they first entered our program. Now they are adults leading
meaningful lives.

Secondly, high expectations of staff for client change
can place undue pressure on both parties. Some folks who try to work with
troubled clients want to see results...NOW. So, they place a lot of pressure
on clients to make changes that they are often not prepared to make. When
this fails these staff start to feel that they or the program is failing. I
often see staff in this position begin to go outside of the program with
'interventions' that they hope will make some sort of quick impression on
the client and cause a higher rate of positive change. However, the result,
invariably, is that of creating much less consistency within the program
which leads to more client testing and misbehavior which leads to more staff
frustration, and so on.

I have come to sum this up in my head as follows: in
general there are two kinds of people; hunters and farmers. Hunters get
hungry, head out, harvest an animal, and eat it. Farmers, on the other hand,
carefully prepare the soil, pick out only the best seeds, place them
carefully in the ground, and then tend the young and growing plants over
time. Farmers must have faith that the seeds they plant today will grow and
bear fruit in the future.

It has been my experience that hunters tend to burn out
quickly in our field and move on. Farmers tend to have better results and
stick around longer. Just some thoughts...

Jeff Glass
...

Thom,
I am amazed at how your question has struck such a responsive chord in the
people who have replied, including me. I have been in CYC work all my
working life and I can't imagine doing anything else. I started in 1967 and
have had a variety of jobs in New York, then Colorado, and then Canada. My
energy comes from a boundless curiosity about people and how they decide to
do what they do, a sense of humor where I can laugh at myself, others, and
some fairly unhappy-seeming events ( a NY Irish trait), and the good fortune
of being smart enough early in my career to get outside of my own immediate
agency and experience by joining professional associations and going to
conferences to meet others on the same path. I love other CYC people and can
"recognize them in the dark" to quote Tony Macciocia. I believe that CYC
work is different and special and have used this "truth" to give myself
energy when I needed it. That's all for now.

Jack Phelan
...

I love the role -- and all the different people I get to
hang out with. Not very profound but true for me. (15 years in the field &
13 years with one organization)

Ernie Hilton
...
I am definitely not a dictionary definition of an 'old timer' in the field
if the criteria means 6 years of education and ten in the field, however if
life experience is of any importance, I have been in the field since I was
very tiny. Resilience? Man, tell me about it. I could tell you stories...I
have been around I guess you could say, and all my life what kept me going
was just believing in myself, even if at times, the world told me different.
I knew my heart and I knew my head, always have and always will. I stand my
ground.
But in the times I have gotten tired, it was not because I had lost that
sense of self, it was because I was starting to believe what others
believed, and started to live up to everyone's expectations instead of just
living up to my own. In the programs, I am running now, sometimes the youth
expect me to be at work 7 days a week,and my children expect me at home 7
days a week. How could I possibly live up to all those expectations? I
realize that the only expectations I honestly need to live up to is my own,
keeping in my heart and mind what I hold to be important and true of my
character. It is about balance. So ya, sometimes it may seem I am telling
the world to go fly a kite, but that is who I am, sometimes I fly the kite,
and sometimes I just sit back and watch. It is all ok with me, and that is
how I stay true to myself and happy.

Tracey
...
Dear Thom:
What a question! I am celebrating my 21st year in our profession as of Oct.
2002. Like all or many of us I have had periods of "What am I doing?". For
me the spirit of youth care and one's optimistism lies within each of us.
The need for periodic renewal physically, emotionally, spiritually are the
key components of endurance. I learn everyday from the youth in our care.
Over the years, I have learned the value of play, humour and just being
present. I have learned success as defined often by youth care workers is
often more stressful and frustrating than any other situations. I realized
around the third year in my profession that I created my own stress, simply
because my expectations where completely out of sync with the life
experience of the youth in our facility. 21 years later, I enter my facility
always with the thought that today is another day that can make that
profound difference in a youth connecting to themselves and others.

C. Connors
...

My secret to longevity: somewhere along the way I learned that I AM NOT GOD.
A valuable lesson---we can't save, change, mold anyone else--so we need to
look after ourselves---and recognize/celebrate the beautiful moments in our
work. It continues to amaze me. More later!

A good topic Thom---what about you??

Karl Gompf
...

I have been in the youth care field for nearly 20 years
and continue to find it challenging and rewarding. What keeps me excited
about youth care are two very basic aspects; 1. new information, research,
treatment models and youth care advancements. And 2. the depth, care and
energy that the new generation of youth care practioneers bring to the
profession.

The new generation of youth care workers have insights
and experiences which enhance the entire field of youth care. I truly enjoy
working with the next generation. As for my own personal means of avoiding
the despair that often times over takes those in the healing arts, I keep
one foot and hand in the earth and one foot and hand in the sea. Nature is
therapy for me. It washes away while nurturing growth. My family also
participates in this process we often times walk the beach together looking
for the wounders nature that are left for us to discover. I am greatful for
the stress and feeling of being drained by work. I makes those time with my
family and nature even more important. The paradox of healing. Each of us
need to find a place to be grounded.where we can retreat to. To be accepted
and embraced with no expectations. To be held by the sound and smell of the
sea. I drift upon the waves with no thought of work for a time. My daughter
handing me a rock she found while saying I love you daddy. I desire that all
find that place of grounding which provides rest, acceptance and balance to
life.

Larry James
...
Hi there!

I am not sure if I am an "veteran" in this field
or not. There are definitely a lot more people out there who have been doing
this for a lot longer than I have. However, I have worked with youth in some
different aspects now for going on 10 years. I have been taking the C&Y Care
program at GMCC and have found it to be one of the most rewarding
experiences of my life! Anyway, about you query. I have been keeping a
watchful eye on your question and have been reading most, if not all, of the
responses and have realized that here we have one of the best ways to stay
fresh and keep ourselves going right under our noses (literally!).

Here we have a great networking system where we share
our ideas, stories, experiences and, in the words of a great teacher, our
"truths", with many colleagues from all over the world! We can share with
each other different strategies for keeping ourselves happy and healthy so
that we may continue to be the best possible person we can be and to be the
best possible c&ycw for the kids and their families who come into our lives.
We are a special breed of people and we should gather ourselves close to one
another in order to become stronger.

However, we need to remember those important
people outside our job as well. I myself came to a situation not so long ago
where I almost burnt myself out and I was terrified that I could not get out
of that "place". Thank goodness I did and I think it is very important for
people to not only learn ways of preventing burn out - but - how to cope and
come back from it if ever in that situation. Remember your teachings! I
cannot tell you how much they helped me. All of what we are taught to help
the kids and their families on how to deal with certain situations can so be
used in our own lives. Different strategies on how to deal with stress,
grief and loss, and self-care, to name a few can be used for ourselves as
well as our clients. And what better way to keep learning than by using
these strategies (we are our own private testing fields!) ourselves and what
better way to role model to a child than by "practising what we preach".
Remember that it is ok for us "professionals" to ask for help too. That just
because we are the "professionals" doesn't mean that we are perfect!

Use your support system and take the time to stop
and really think about our lives for a few minutes each day and realize just
how lucky we are. We have the opportunity to work in (in my opinion) one of
the most challenging, rewarding and wonderful careers in the world. We are
like caretakers of some of the most beautiful gardens in the world and we
have such amazing flowers in that garden, each one beautiful and unique in
it's own way. From my past situation has arisen some great and wonderful
opportunities for a very rewarding and humble future. I have been able to
take not just one or two steps back but yet have taken back up to near 10
steps back and really taken a good look at myself and those around me, my
affect on them and their affect on me. Know yourself, know your limits, know
what you are and are not capable of doing. If you can't do it then that is
ok! chances are you will know someone who can. That is what teams are all
about and really and truly that is what we are - we are a bunch of little
teams who are coming together to help out our children!

It all comes down to resiliency, theirs and ours. I have
the ability to bounce back from adversity and to come out stronger and more
aware of myself, and what it is that I want out of this and how I can use
this wisdon and strength to achieve this goal for myself as well as for "my
children" both in and out of my "professional" life. There have most
definitely been some tough times in the past for most, if not all of us, and
I have no doubt that there will be more for us ahead. However, if we
remember who we are and what we are about then we shall do remarkable and
wonderful things. Especially if we remember that it is all about US, so that
we are be able to make it all about the KIDS. Don't lose sight of the big
picture, when things get so small that you can't see anything else around
you that is going on (and trust me - this can happen far too easily!!) that
is when the burn out will hit and you won't even see it coming! (well that
is novel enough for one time isn't it!)

All the best to you,
Cory-Ann Woods
...

I have been pondering the question Thom posed for
several days now, with the intention of responding when I came into work
tonight. I am struck by how similar my thoughts are to the many others who
have responded. I have been a Youth Care Worker for nine years now, not as
long as some, but a lifetime for me. Over the past nine years I have gone
through several brief periods when the passion, enthusiasm, and certainty
seemed to have left me. I have discovered that this usually means my life is
unbalanced: perhaps I have been negelecting my physical health, or the
spiritual part of my life, I might need to take a little time off to spend
with my family, or perhaps I need a new challenge at work. Just as others
have said, balance is key, challenge and change are essential. That's a
pretty good life rule I think.

Kim Nicolaou.
...

Thom Garfat asked a while ago: "I would be interested in
hearing from some 'long timers' about how you kept alive, refreshed, engaged
with the field of child and youth care practice. What's your secret?"

Thom, So nice to see your insightful comments on the
net. Your question regarding resilience of Child and Youth Care Workers
refers. I guess that I am one of the survivors of South African Child and
Youth Care. I have been in the field for more than twenty years. I enjoy my
vocation, and we do best when we are having fun. Life for me is a gift and
it has always been my philosophy to share the joy of living, in spite of the
odds, with everyone else. My retiring question at night is "Have I done the
best I could, today? We have to reflect. (However also to be aware of the
delusion of indulgence and the professional miasma and leadership scotoma.)

The open-ended question about whose needs have been met,
mine or those of the client remains a sobering one. As a person who has been
socially excluded in a country where the apartheid idealogy created
causualties and heartaches in great numbers, there is one unacceptable
reality that repeatedly rips my gut - when the opressor speaks on behalf of
the opressed and publicly states "I understand how you feel and what you
went through." Really? How can you speak on my behalf? Likewise, this has
often been a humbling experience for me in child and youth care. Can I
really say to a client that I understand how they feel when, for example,
their mother is a prostitute, father an alcoholic and when such a scenario
has not been my lot? I have tried to let clients express themselves. My
servanthood role includes teaching and modeling that the possibility to
change is the essence of hope. The power to change lies with the children
and families. Stress and burnout is often the result of taking on more than
we are able to. We grew up as children and our parents had us use our
fingers everyday as we had to say: IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME. After
twenty years I still enjoy the work that I do and would not want to do
change it for the world. I believe that even those children and families
that we term "dysfunctional," have dreams. I will help them to keep the
dreams alive ... or else be haunted by them.

Michael Gaffley
...

To Michael Gaffley, looking for a response to Thom
Garfat's question from long timers.
I'm a long timer, but usually don't feel that way. From the beginning of my
career in child and youth care, I knew I was home. Not sure why. I like to
play, I know that, and I like the struggle. It's good, hard work that I
think I know how to leave behind. I have other things to do. It's
interpersonal when I'm in it, but I don't "take it personal." Figuring it
out, I think, is part of why I stay. Curiosity is a big part of it. And of
course, the people, like you, Thom and many others.

Mark Krueger
...
I have been having a wonderful experience over the past few days. A while
ago I posted a question asking what it is that keeps, or has kept, people in
the field. How come some stay? Well, over the past little while I have been
re-reading all the responses to the question and it has been a fine read -
invigorating, and hopeful. I wanted to thank everyone who posted. As I
promised, I am going to make some kind of a summary and post it on
cyc-online - just because it is interesting.

However, a few of the responses helped me to realise I
had made a mistake in the posting. I asked about 'long-timers' - people who
had been in the field for a while. Some people asked be how long I meant.
Well, really, I guess I did not have a time in mind - sometimes you have
made the commitment and know you are hanging in there after a very short
period of time.

So, I wanted to ask if anyone, and I do mean anyone, had
any thoughts about what keeps people hanging in this field. Why do you stay?
Perhaps in knowing why people stay, we can be more helpful to others, as
well.
Thom Garfat
...

Hi Thom, I had the same query and did my Masters Project
at the Maritime School of Social Work in 1998 on that very question. The
short answer, after a year of research was, that, "personal and professional
values become congruent".
Linda Wilson
...

I have worked as a CYW for 11 years. I am 2 credits away from my CYC - BA
and I am leaving the field.

I looked closely at why I love being a CYC. I love
knowing that I am there to help a child at, what is most often, the lowest
point in their lives. Being a CYC gives me constant challenges. It's never
boring. You must always be on the ball. The daily interactions and positive
counselling sessions always recharge my batteries. I love working with kids.
I love helping them. I love looking back over the years and remembering all
the children I have worked with and all the families I have helped. I have
had a great deal of fun being a CYW.

Now I am leaving the field. I can no longer work the
hours necessary for the shift work of front line, and do not wish to have
the head ache and lack of kid contact hours that comes with management. I am
moving into teaching and hope that all I have learned as a CYW, and all I
love about my job, will also be found in teaching. Maybe someday I'll
return, and I will still continue to focus on the professionalization of
CYW's. Maybe I can help make a difference for CYW's in a new field.

Tara
...
Greetings
Why do I stay? The answer is very simple. I enjoy what I do each day, and
thoroughly. I enjoy the challenge and that is what motivates me each and
every day. Some of the children that I have cared for in the past, visit me
on a regular basis and we still have that great bond that was established
whilst they were placed in care. That makes me think - wow! I must have done
something right. Events like these urge me on and keeps me focussed on what
I am doing. I stay knowing that with all the tools at my grasp can help make
a small difference in some troubled child's life. If I can make a difference
in one, then I have achieved a lot. I enjoy being with children and having
the opportunity to share their joy, sadness and various events in their
lives. I never chose to enter into the field. I believe that I was guided
and have made good use of every opportunity that presented itself. Children
are special and we must keep in our minds that they are also our future.

Regards
Rev. Kaz Vickerman

_________

THE INTERNATIONAL CHILD AND YOUTH CARE NETWORK (CYC-Net)
Registered Non-Profit and Public Benefit Organisation in the
Republic of South
Africa (031-323-NPO, PBO 930015296)