This week was about connecting with people. I figured out that one of the things I can learn while hanging out with A- is how to make friends, since it naturally immerses me in a world with other people, excuses to talk and get together, and common ground. A- gets jealous when I talk to my friends, so we’ll probably need to practise with other parents before I get to hang out with childfree grown-ups.

We’ve also been dealing with more tantrums around overtiredness, bedtime resistance, and mealtime delaying tactics, probably exacerbated by teething pain. We’re getting better at calmly setting limits and remaining empathetic. We’re going to get through this.

Kaizen

We decided to prioritize cooking fresh food often instead of bulk-cooking and reheating.

Us

I broke my server during an upgrade, so I stayed up late getting nginx, PHP, passenger, rvm, and the right Ruby version working again.

Field trip

What a full day! We went to music class. Then we visited Tita Joy (A- mostly played with J-‘s toys). Then off to the drop-in center, the dollar store, the organic food store, and the supermarket…

We went to a drop-in centre about an hour away by transit because it was open in the afternoon. A- liked the snacks and circle time songs. She also played with the dollhouse.

Language

“What’s the monkey doing? Not really a monkey.” A- now provides her own verbal footnotes!

“Today is experiment day!”

A- loved asking, “Ok Google, what’s the weather for today?”

Self-care and independence

The dentist reassured me that I don’t need to worry about the bonding peeling away a little from her capped tooth. A- lay still enough for the dentist to “count her teeth” carefully. After the visit, she picked a ball from the toy bin.

Eating

At school, A- ate lots of pear and Shreddies cereal.

W- made steamed fish and A- ate lots of it.

A- really liked chicken adobo. She ate basically a drumstick and a half.

Social

We had Ewan, Hala, Jen, E-, and S- over for dinner. Chicken soup, pot roast, and pumpkin pie worked out wonderfully, even though the kids were all a little grumpy at various times.

We invited Melissa, H-, Barbara, and J- over for pumpkin pie. H- and J- mostly played with each other, and A- sat on my lap and asked me to read books to her. Still, a good first step!

When we visited Jen, Ewan, and E-, I cooked honey glazed wings, and they made tomato au gratin, sweet potato mash, and baked apples. A- liked playing with the owl puppet, so we borrowed it. This weekly rhythm of social interaction feels nice.

Pretend

A- wanted to sleep on the folded up comfort (her “bassinet”). She asked for the gum massager (her “baby toy”) and chewed on that for a bit before going to sleep.

Other

A- found the meh dai carrier and we tried it on. She’s a little too big to safely or comfortably carry in it, I think.

More Twenty Questions: “I want something to chew on. Something with two ends. Something with two openings.” “Is it a straw?”

A- didn’t want me to think out loud, so she said, “No mama talk to her heart. Talk to me.”

“Do you have your membership card?”

“I love love love dinosaurs.”

Self-care and independence

A- slept in the middle of the bed after asking me to give her more space. She’s becoming more independent.

We went for a meet and greet with a family doctor taking new patients. A- was initially hesitant, but she warmed up after getting a not-entirely-necessary ear exam, a definitely unnecessary bandage, and a bunch of stickers. We’ll check out a nearby doctor first before deciding on one and sending the records over.

There’s a rough spot on one of A-‘s teeth where the bond seems to be peeling away. A- patiently let me look at her tooth.

A- can handle chewable acetaminophen.

A- announced, “I need to go to bed.” Then she went upstairs and got started on the bedtime routine.

Sleep

W- managed to insist on A- having a nap by being quiet and in a dark room. I think he sat in front of the door and patted her back. She fell asleep on the carpet.

Emotion

A- probably felt a bit overwhelmed and overtired after the party at Uncle Jason’s. After we had settled in at home, she had a tantrum. She tried exercising too much control over play, so W- took a break, and then A- got super upset and didn’t want to be touched or consoled. Eventually she wanted me to pick her up, and I snuggled her and helped her calm down. I told her my best guess of how she was feeling and why, and she said, “Yeah.” She also asked me to talk about the day, so I reviewed it with her, and we talked a little about the fun she had as well.

I forgot the carrier at a friend’s place. A- had a big tantrum because she wanted to be carried in it.

To help A- with her emotions, we talked a little about breathing.

The daily review sometimes triggers tantrums. I wonder if I should avoid talking about the things that might upset her, or maybe move our review to when she has more energy…

A- tried tipping chairs over to express her frustration.

Social

Hala invited us for an impromptu get-together along with Ewan, E-, and S-. I was a little worried about A-‘s energy level because she hadn’t napped, but she was just fine. We all had lots of fun. A- particularly liked playing with toys and watching the other kids. I brought the garlic mushroom and broccoli dish I’d made just that afternoon – good timing!

We shared some of the pizza we made with a friend who lives nearby.

A- was getting fixated on Facebook video effects, and I didn’t like how it distracted from our conversations with Lola. I’m going to nudge us away from it.

We visited Joy and J-. It was good to spend time with them, especially as they’ve been avoiding drop-in centres in order to minimize the risk of getting sick.

A- is becoming more social. She often talks about friends, is excited about seeing people, and asks to invite people over or visit them.

Pretend

A- put some playdough in a cup and told me that she made halo halo for me.

Cognition

A- liked the bunny filter in Facebook video chat. The filter made a carrot fly in whenever A- opened her mouth, so A- asked for a real carrot and munched on that too.

A- looked at the clock and announced it was quarter to eight, which it was.

A- completed the ring puzzle in order of size, correcting herself along the way.

Other

A- found the baby hat I made her. She had fun wearing it again, and the sight was very amusing.

I only get a sense of how full the week was when I look back. There were so many little moments, so many things to learn and try.

Kaizen

I sketched a thought on my laptop. Later, I opened the drawing on my phone and typed accompanying text on the tablet with a Bluetooth keyboard. Lots of tech, but this workflow might actually work well for me…

Us

W- showed me how to replace the humidifier filter and turn the furnace on.

I was feeling a little left behind professionally, since I’ve been getting worse as a programmer (not up to date on tools, not writing tests, etc.). A- is doing so well, though, so this is probably a good path.

Four fillings at the dentist! Oh well.

I was thinking about the individual development plans I did during my corporate life and how to create a sense of growth in parenting. I made a list of the big things we’re going to be working on over the coming year, and I realized that there’s actually lots to learn and many skills to work on. Whee!

I started working on a way to put my sketches on the web in a form that makes it easier for me to search through titles or refer to them by ID. It felt great to work on a personal project.

Language

A- is learning about indirectly asking for things. She said, “I want something from the big freezer. Something cold. Something hard. Something that needs a scooper. Something that has a container. Something that needs to soften. Something that’s not round.” We were greatly amused, although we were firm that ice cream wasn’t one of her options for breakfast.

While we were out, A- said, “I want something with nuts.” I said, “I thought your tummy was all full.” She said, “My tummy is not full already. My tummy has space for the energy bar.”

We reread “Betsy Goes to the Doctor” after maybe six months of not checking it out. A- still remembered a few of the words.

I forgot to ask A- for permission before planting a kiss on her head. She said, “No Mama germs on me. Wash it off.” I rubbed the spot. She said, “Not pretend, real! Wash with water!”

I asked A- to play by herself while I washed dishes. She wandered about, then said, “I’m wandering about.”

A- wanted me to pretend to be a nurse. She said, “Mama take care of me. Mama keep me healthy.”

Self-care and independence

A- voluntarily brushed her teeth, and for a few minutes too. I suggested different areas to brush and she did it all by herself.

A- had some quiet independent play time while I did some consulting and W- read. She said, “I don’t want to be independent. I play with Daddy.” After a short while, she was quiet. We looked over and found her napping.

A- wanted to go to the library bathroom. When we finished, she took the key back upstairs all by herself while I stayed on the ground floor with the cart.

When we were done at the organic food store, I offered to help A- return the small child-sized cart she had used. She pushed me away and said, “I do it myself.” She headed out the first set of doors, pushed the cart back into the corral, came back into the store, and looked at me proudly.

A- was recovering from a stomach bug, so we set timers to help her pace herself while eating toast and bananas. She patiently waited for the timer to go off, even refusing when I offered food a little early.

Eating

A- is still teething and often insists on crunchy food.

Emotion

A- wanted me to take her in the stroller to the supermarket, but she didn’t want to ride the stroller on the way back. I hadn’t brought my carrier along, and she was too slippery in the snowsuit for me to comfortably carry her. We were both a bit tired and hungry, too. After a long tantrum, we settled on my trying to awkwardly carry her and push the stroller at the same time, taking frequent breaks along the way. I got pretty frustrated, so when we got home, W- took her for a bit while I had some hot water and a snack. Once I calmed down, I apologized for being grumpy. Some time later, A- said, “Daddy is not grumpy. Daddy is a bigger adult.”

Household

W- showed A- and me how to spread wood filler on the cracks in the floor.

Social

J- had a few friends over for a study group. Before they arrived, A- declared, “I don’t like J-‘s friends. I want J- to play with me.” They set up their laptops in the kitchen, and A- and I had our evening snack in the living room. A- kept going to the hallway right outside the kitchen to chat with J-‘s friends or show off things.

Lola slept early, so A- chatted with her cousins G* and A* instead. G* showed us her room, A* drew, and A- jumped up and down.

A- playfully pretended to whine, peeking at our reactions.

We had a muffin at the coffee shop outside music class. A- shared food with her classmates. She accepted seaweed and she offered her orange segments. I chatted with the other parents about activities.

We experimented with a Facebook group video chat so that Lola could talk to all of her grandkids at the same time, and so that the kids could hang out with each other too. We were having some problems with video orientation, so we might tinker around with that a little more. G* got a little frustrated and wanted some one-on-one time with Lola, so we took turns. Still, this is quite promising!

We chatted with Lola and A-‘s cousins, went to music class, then pretend school (the drop-in centre at a school), then another drop-in centre, and then the organic food store. Full day! A- fell asleep on the way home.

Pretend

A- enthusiastically joined us on a trip to the hardware store, since the hardware store has a few special carts that has steering wheels for kids. She said, “I often like to drive a cart.”

A- pretended her stuffed toy had lots of pee accidents all over the place.

World

A- spent some time typing on the Bluetooth keyboard. She held down keys and said what they made, and she used the Enter key to “wash away” what she typed. She liked toggling Caps Lock so that she could type big or small letters.

Oops

I forgot to bring my credit card to the dentist. Fortunately, I’d asked J- to hang out with A-, and J- brought her debit card.

Thoughts

If I consider this as my current career, what are the skills I’m working on building?