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OK, so there won't be a LOT on here about sex, but tell the truth, that's most of the reason you entered this site, right? So, I'll slip some things in from time to time just to keep you coming...back.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My third of 3 stories about the people Cheryl and I met in
our last 24 hours in Providence is maybe the least interesting to me, at least
in the long-term, though he was certainly the most entertaining. If I were to
write a transcript of the entire conversation I had with this very Italian-American
gentleman, you probably would think I was either making it up or was furthering
stereotypes that have been promoted through the years regarding people of his
heritage.

I met him our last morning, as we waited in line, again,
this time for about 45 minutes for an amazing breakfast in a restaurant that
was about half the size of the room you’re sitting in right now. (Yeah, that’s
right – I can see you from where I sit…and you look good!). It only had 4
tables, 2 of which sat two people, the other two sat no more than 4.

As we waited outside the building (semi-needless to say, but
I will anyway, there was no room to wait inside), I saw a few chairs sitting out
front of the real estate office next to our restaurant. After about 5 minutes
of my sitting there, the owner of the real estate company came out to sit with
me. Over the next half hour, I again pretty much got his whole life story, how
he was the youngest of eight kids and had spent the last 34 years in business with
his father. “I must be doin’ something right, right?! I’m the chosen one!”

(And I should pause here to make sure you understand that as
you read each of his quotes, to use your mind’s thickest New York City Italian
accent. Let’s limber up a little. Say “Fuhgetaboutit!” Nah, you gotta hit it
heavier, really let the accent drip “FUHgetABOUTIT!” Or maybe that should be “fuhGETaboutit!”
OK, I think you’re there. And make sure to bob your head and swirl your hands,
touching the person next to you on the arm constantly as you talk. Right – I can
see there is no one sitting next to you, so just pretend. Now go back and read
that last quote again. Go ahead, I’ll wait.Good – you
got it now.)

So anyway, he and his dad had started in the car business
together. I apologize for admitting that when I heard that, I envisioned chop
shops and car insurance scams. Now they are apparently fairly successful real
estaters, though as he pointed at each of the properties in sight that they had
bought, I wondered how long they would have to wait for the neighborhood to
come back for them to make any kind of profit unless they’d acquired the land
for free.

So here are my three favorite things he told me during his
rambling verbal autobiography:

1 – “When we got started in this business, (are your hands
moving? Is your accent a-drip?), I had what ya call a confidence problem, can
ya imagine? So I asked this buddy of mine, OK, he was my therapist, if I could
take the class he was teaching - a psychology class, and he said “David – what you
wanna take that for? But he let me, so it was the last day of the class and
when I walked in, he picked me out of everyone and said ‘David – your assignment
for today is to spend class writing whatever you’re thinking about right now.’
So I says, OK, but I got one request – can I step outside for a minute, and he
said ‘Sure” so I walked back out the door, went all the way down the steps to
the street and walked back up and when I walked in, he said ‘Yo, David, what
was that about?!’ and I says ‘I had to go out and count the steps I had to take
to walk from the street up to this classroom – it was 122 steps and they were
the most important 122 steps I ever took in my life!’ And I been fine ever
since.”

2 – “I got two daughters just got engaged this summer. I
know, everyone says the same thing: ‘Is that ever gonna be expensive!’ but that’s
not how I’m lookin’ at it. I figure it’s great that I can help ‘em. And they’re
marrying two great guys, two bulls! And by that I mean, big guys, big Italian
fellas. Now I know – we’re all one, but I been tellin’ ‘em since they were
little, and (interrupting himself) they’d always say, ‘Dad – why don’t you just
come out and say it – you want us to marry Italian boys!’ and I’d say ‘Yeah, I guess
that’s true’. But the way I figure it, I know we’re all one and everything, but
I figure it’s all about the food and the heritage and the…well, actually it’s
just all about the food! (and he wasn’t laughing – he was totally serious.)

3 – Believe it or not, my favorite thing he said, apropos of
nothing – totally, at least through my waspy filter, unrelated to whatever
stage he happened to be on in his life story, in the middle of his story he
threw in a…wait for it…:

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

If you are
reading this post without having first read the one underneath it, Cheryl and I
spent most of a week in Providence, Rhode Island recently, for my annual work
conference and this is the second of three parts, about a few of the characters
we met there.

After
settling in on our restaurant choice that last night, the 3rd of the
recommendations our legally/morally/karmically-challenged friend had made, we
were sitting at the bar, killing time until our table would be ready in 25…no
40…how about close to 90 minutes. Cheryl was responding on her phone to an Etsy
order while I was content to watch the people around the bar and small
restaurant, making up stories in my mind about each one as to the relationships
of the couples or intentions of the others. Seemed like quite a few middle-aged
women hoping to be noticed or remarked on by someone, anyone, if only by the
girlfriend they were sharing their drinks or meal with.

One woman, I
noticed, was sitting by herself at the bar, immediately to Cheryl’s left, but at
an angle, where the bar turned back toward the kitchen.She was, again, in our general age range, and
was attractive and had an air both of unhidden confidence as well as unease, as
would I, were I sitting alone at a bar, or a restaurant, or hell, just about
anywhere in public.

As the bar
waitress brought her her dinner, the waitress introduced herself, apologizing
for having forgotten the woman’s name, obviously wanting to keep her happy as a
semi-regular patron.

When Cheryl
finished her business, she casually yet with unfeigned importance, asked the
woman what she had ordered because it looked so darn good!As with our troubled friend who had steered
us here, over the next 20-30 minutes we had a conversation of great focus and
conclusion with this woman, again, never catching her name, though as Marion Paroo
might say, I don’t believe she ever dropped it.

Over the
course of the conversation, we learned that she owned a business that she had
built from scratch and was now earning (presumably grossing) millions of
dollars a year, though she seemed apologetic that they hadn’t hit ten million
yet, but seemed equally energized about getting there. And incredibly to me,
she only has 5 employees…not including the factory in Vietnam where the private
label clothes she markets are made.

As we talked
about her business, interrupted, as I recall, only by her interest in knowing
more about Quakers, we discussed the qualities most important to her success,
and I referred back to a conversation I had had hours earlier with the Chair of
our Board in discussing the quality he feels we should look for above all
others in the search for a successor to the current, soon to retire, President
of our company. And that is the ability, as I came to phrase it, to just be
really good at being a Human Being.

When I told
her of that conversation and that conclusion, she paused, looked away for a
moment, considered it, looked back at me and said with an air of revelation and
finality, “Yeah, that’s exactly it. To grow our business, we all have to be
really good at being…Human Beings.”

And soon our
table was ready, we thanked each other for a nice conversation, wished each
other well and went on with our lives…endeavoring to be Really Good Human
Beings.

(And in
retrospect, in Jamie world, Providence Friend A will run into
Providence Friend B and solve all each others’ unapparent issues of loneliness
and purpose. )

About Me

I live with my awesome family of 5 or 6 or maybe 8 depending on your definitions regarding an engaged step-daughter, an exchange student, and dogs, cats and stuff, in West Vincent in the house my dad built back in the 50's. I graduated from Westtown School and Earlham College, with a degree in Psychology, which helps explain why I'm an Accountant today. I've been a Quaker since I was 2 months old and a Phillies fan since I was 7. Being a Quaker has served me far better.
I hope you enjoy this blog. Let's try to keep it vitriol free.