One good turn deserves another. I thought I should review one of your works. I really like the simplicity of words that you chose for the beginning. And though you broke everything into short fragments, the piece flowed naturally. To quote the people living around me, keep on truckin'.

-I like to stretch my hand out / and examine- I stretched my own hand out when I read those lines. I don't know why, but I did.

-(the billion little shapes)- You sometimes use parenthesis when I don't really think you should; this is an example.

-untailored / conversation / (just / another / sensation / to fuel / me.)- You have such a natural taste for rhythm. And often your rhymes read like they just came to you so naturally as you were writing. This is an example. "Sensation" came to you after writing "conversation" and out came the next line, or at least that's the way I see it. You seem to write so effortlessly.

-January is too casual for me - / too down to earth - / too new, / but in the end / the birth / of six years / ebbs / before it flows - My favorite lines of the entire poem. And "ebbs" is such a great word; hardly anybody ever seems to use it, though.

-(even in the / strangely eloquent dreams / that creep between my eyelids / like sand / stuck / between jutting pages / -long ago tucked away-)- These lines are beautiful and expertly written ... HOWEVER, I think they're just too much. It's like you saw an opportunity to impress the reader and you went for it. But these lines become so intense and attention-grabbing that they distract the reader from the original poem. By the time the parenthesis ended, I had forgotten what you were originally saying.

I think this poem is very well-written (but how could it not be; I mean, you did write it afterall). The rhythm is excellent as always. The imagery is strong and I really heard the speaker of the poem; but ... I didn't enjoy this poem all that much. Not as much as some of your others. Perhaps it didn't speak to me on any real level; I never felt that "connection." The poem seemed surprisingly colorless, too, especially considering all the mention of color throughout.

I think it's still a very good poem, though. Tt's just not as strong or memorable as others I've read by you.

Absolutely beautiful images and it all flows so well, can not even begin to choose a favourite line. The shortness of each line though does make it a little hard to read but that may just be me. Love the ideas you have, really well done x