My 93 yo mother is at the point where she is not able to leave her home without assistance from the local Fire Dept. She has to go up and down 15 steps in order to go to a Dr. visit and they come and carry her down and back up when we return. They are not always available and when that happens we miss appointments. Home Health sent out a physical therapist and she deemed it unsafe for my mother to live alone now. We have no options to correct that and Home Health with not send out anyone to do physical therapy with her unless someone is living with her full time, that just doesn't make sense to me. So my question is....what are we to do now?

6 Answers

When my FIL got that same news from HHC, he simply gave up. He wouldn't move into a NH or ALF and wound up being cared for by me, 3xs a day, I was hauling out to his place to help him. I was also looking for a placement for him.

He passed away before he had to suffer the indignity of being in "a home".

Cost IS the problem, but start looking anyway. Your mom is in danger and if someone (even the HHAgency) reports her as an endangered adult, they will remove her forcibly from the home. (Worst case--don't panic).

I appreciate everyone's replies. If moving her was that easy. I would love for her to go to assisted living, the problem is, cost. She has minimal savings which would run out within a few months of being in a facility. There is no one that can move in with her, so that is not an option either. It just seems as though there is nothing available to the elderly that do not have the funds, to aid them with their long term care. Sad.

You need to talk to a lawyer versed in Medicaid. Somevstates have a Millers trust. Lets say the Medicaid cap is 2000 a month of income and your Mom receives 2200. The 200 would go into the trust. At the time of her death the trust reverts back to Medicaid.

Agree with above answers and with what the agency told you. It's time for mom to move. She may not WANT to, but that's really no longer the point.

So, take a deep breath and start making some phone calls. If she's mobile except for stairs, maybe senior housing could work. Or AL or is the situation is worse than just not being able to get down the stairs, a NH might be in order.

Or as already stated above, you or someone else would have to move in with her. But that would not solve the serious issue of not being able to get her out of the house.

I don't know but it doesn't really seem like the Fire Dept should be the ones getting your mom in and out of her house. They are for fighting fires and medical emergencies. This is not an emergency, but a chronic ongoing situation that needs a full-time solution.

Your mother needs to move to a place where she is safe living alone. If her issue is only stairs, that won't be hard to find. If she has more issues than her ability to climb stairs, she may need a facility placement. This is a hard time of life. But people make it much harder by refusing to adapt to their new circumstances. Right now, your mom is not able to get out of her house in an emergency. That's not okay.

It means her "needs" are too great. At this point, you place her in a facility to get proper care, give up your own life to care for her 24/7 or find live in care compliant with labor laws in your state. There is a point that it is not safe for elders to be alone and tough decisions need to be made.

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