Adjusting the Halo Again

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Last week I heard Tim Wise speak twice in Rochester. I've been having trouble keeping my halo on ever since. Life was so much easier when I could simply compartmentalize people and ideas into either/or frameworks. Tim Wise made me adjust my self determined halo so many times that I've decided to take it off altogether...for good.

My first thoughts about people are incessant. Of course, I'm good and always right, so if that sounds a bit 'superior' (and white, and male), let the record show that I admit it. And it makes me think how hard it is for it others to crack that facade of mine, especially when they don't know just how rigid I can be about things.

Like thinking OTHER people are racist. Tim says spend less time figuring out who is racist and just stop using the term at all for now. That's no fun.

Tim says be hard on systems and soft on people. We (I) love to unload about others, and condemn their behaviors while giving ourselves (myself) a free pass. Tim says if we pay more attention to the systems that perpetuate racism, and we're all caught up in those systems, we could shift our focus to undoing the biases we project at least 20 bazillion times a day.

Research tells us that if we see a TV ad a minimum of 12 times, we're much more likely to have a favorable impression of that product, and buy it. But how much more often are we subjected to bias and stereotypes in the course of our day. Tim says we have a shared responsibility to look at how each of us is impacted by privilege and how it comes down on us, or on others, either because we have it, or don't.

Tim says we share a common fate here because the institutions that keep racist practices, attitudes and legislation in place impact us all. Like when a white guy talks about race he's seen as an educator. When a person of color does the same thing, she or he is seen as an activist...as if they have an 'agenda'. Hmmm.

I suppose we've all been at the short end of the stick at one time or another, being seen as an outsider, or too young, or not qualified or not fitting in. The problem comes when it happens more times than not. What kind of message does that send if you are female, or Latino, or from the city, or enrolled in the city school district?

Tim, you're making me very uncomfortable here, telling us to spend more time with one another, acknowledge the truth of how whole groups of people get targeted; allow people to share how they have been victimized so healing can come about for all of us.

Developing a shared fate takes me out of the comfort zone of either/or and into the realm of listening, like really listening. So my future is at stake as much as yours? We're in this together? I'm getting a headache. Maybe it's because of all I do to keep my halo in place while criticizing others for not having one at all. OK, down with the halo. That's odd, I'm feeling better already.