If I told you that the former U.S. president famously known for getting mouthjibbers from a White House intern, releasing his presidential seed on said intern’s dress, and sticking a cigar inside that same intern’s vagina only to put it in his mouth afterwards was recently accused of trying to bang former First Lady Jackie Kennedy amidst some horseplay, would you hesitate to believe me even for a second? It didn’t sound all that playful, either.

The former President ‘almost forcibly’ tried to have sex with the former First Lady even though she protested, a new book claims in an outlandish account of the encounter.

In the new book, Bill and Hillary: So This Is That Thing Called Love, authors Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince write about an encounter that allegedly took place between Bill and Jackie in her NYC apartment during his term in office. I feel it’s prudent to note that Jackie was 17 years older than Clinton.

Mrs Kennedy, who was in her 60s at the time, said that she and Mr Clinton nearly got into a ‘wrestling match’ before she was able to throw him off. […]

Mrs Kennedy told a friend: ‘We almost indulged in a wrestling match. It was most embarrassing.

‘I mean, I was flattered that I turned him on so much at my age, but Bill was just like Jack in the sense that neither of them wanted to take “no” for an answer.

‘Ever since that day I prefer not to be alone in the same room with Bill. I fear he’s a man who never gives up.’

A bit rapey there, Slick Willy. Of course, this claim is unconfirmed, and the Clinton camp obviously denies it adamantly.

A spokesman for the Clintons said on Sunday: ‘[Is it] possible to quote me laughing at the sheer absurdity of this story?’

It’s hard to laugh off a claim like this when the person you’re defending is a known sexual deviant with at least one extramarital affair on his résumé.

A tinge of possible rapiness aside — and I choose to believe this claim is inaccurate — Bill Clinton is awesome. He’s the rare leader of the free world who is generally well-liked by all parties. The guy oversaw a bomb economy, improved educational standards, lowered crime rates, and successfully navigated an Oval Office sex scandal. Oh, and the man can slay on the sax. Play on, player..

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Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

He also increased gun control, inherited that healthy economy and got the dotcom boom, and crime rates had already been declining. He was not a terrible president by any standard and was good by a few, but let’s not act like his a standard to be upheld with that last paragraph.

In addition, the “decrease in crime rate” claim regularly made by their camp has nothing to do with his administration and has been proven through an economic analysis to be because of an increase in abortions. Whether you agree with them or not (I don’t), they did have an astounding effect on the crime rate.