Andrew: I just remembered I have a guild raid this afternoon.Chelsea: They can wait. Get down here, close your eyes and think of Azeroth.

Andrew: Man, this is so overrated.

Really?

Andrew: FUCK NO! Are you kidding?!

Disgusting. Shameful. Just simply revolting.

Andrew: That why you're taking so many pics?

Yes. No. Shut up.

Andrew: How's the view from up there?

Scandalous.

Andrew: Send me a copy, would you?

Chelsea: Andrew... I think we should get married.Andrew: Why?Chelsea: Because cheating makes me hot.

Oh, I see you've decided to have your cake and fuck Cameron too.

Andrew: Dude? Sisters! I'm only Simian!

That you are, Andrew. That you certainly are.

Andrew: Did I do that wrong? I did that wrong, didn't I.

I'm not telling you.

Come on, Cameron. You deserve better than this.

Cameron: Do I?

No, not really, I'm just pissed off.

This is the dorm maid. Your dorm doesn't have a dorm maid? Your dorm sucks.

She's very... assertive.

Chelsea: -sings- I'm gonna wash that man-jizz outta my hair

Aw, did that long day of ruining my well-laid plans tucker your little self out?

Dammit, you guys are still really cute together.

Cameron: -looks hopefully toward the future-Andrew: -does the best he can, bless him-

Andrew: I should never have agreed to do Chelsea's art homework.Cameron: It's gotta be better than mine. Do you remember what Planck's Constant is, off the top of your head?Andrew: Man, that sounds awful. Hers is just a bunch of fast food restaurant application forms.

That's so romantic! Don't ask him where his mouth has been, Cameron.

Cameron: What did he say?Andrew: NOTHING. HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. (The fuck, man?)

Chelsea: So hey, am I in?Roger Custer: What? Huh? Oh! Oh! What?Chelsea: Did I get into the Secret Society?Roger: Sure! Fuck! Sure! Whatever!

That's one way to do it.

Hey, Chelsea...?

Chelsea: What?

Jason's... not in the Secret Society...?

Chelsea: I know :)

The only cure is more cowbeat!

Rishell: OH MY GOD I BET THEY'LL THINK THIS WAS MY FAULT SOMEHOW

For fuck's sake, woman, don't bring it in with you!

Rishell starts fires like Kanye West starts arguments.

(I wrote that two years ago and it's still perfectly serviceable).

Edit: Six years and counting, joke still works.

Danielle appreciates the only legacy Melanie has left to us: her bug collection.

Danielle: There's, like... two bugs in this thing.

It's not a great legacy.

Vanessa: KRRRKLJerry: We can stop anytime you want...Vanessa: HRRRGKJerry: I really won't take it personally...Vanessa: PRRRBLL

Is it easier from that angle?

Jerry: I dunno, she's been passed out for an hour. I'm afraid if I move she'll bite my dick off.

Don: IIIIIIIIII CAN SEE YOUR PANTIIIIIIIIIES FROM DOWN HEEEEEEEEEEEEREVirginia: You wrote me a song?!

Kaylynn Fairchild: Yeah, we'll let you out. As soon as you pay up.

Don: Hey baby, wanna participate in a common cliché about the loose sexual morals of cheerleaders?

You awful, terrible person.

Don: Don't be mad at her, it's the only thing her kind understands.

I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at you. You already have the best goddamn girlfriend ever.

Don: Never underestimate the seductive power of an open and welcoming vagina.

Don: Hey, my tie matches your outfit.Kaylynn: Focus, honey.

Don: Hey, my tie matches your outfit. On the floor.

Kaylynn: ...is my hair black now? Am I wearing makeup now?!

For some reason your name wouldn't come up on the makeover chair, so I used cheats to change your appearance.

Kaylynn: Your childish impatience is definitely a good reason to loosen my grasp on reality.

Kaylynn: Speaking of loosening grasps...Don: Only if it's to have more sex.Kaylynn: Haven't you had enough already?Don: That was with the old Kaylynn. I want to compare!

Don: Aww, man... he didn't do anything to your vagina!

There's that word again...

Yeah. That's not creepy at all.

Jasmine Corsillo: I just want to take her hair.

Oh, well, okay then.

You know, you're growing on me. I might let you make it back to Pine Valley alive.

Vanessa: Is that an offer, or a threat?

Virginia: Hey! Season-appropriate outerwear! Seems so obvious now.

Jess: (stealthily) FADA SOOLA GOR!

Jess: (surreptitiously) FADA SOOLA BRON!

Jess: (quietly) FADA BABY ODA BABY GONK GONK GONK!

Jess: (reverently) GERBITS! GERBITS! VOHHHHH GERBITS!

That is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

Not what you'd normally want to see, walking into a bathroom.

But some bitches need to get the fuck out.

Jaqueline Hutchins: Unngh... just five more minutes mom...

Five more minutes and you'll be a greasy smear on the tiles, you rotten little snit. GET UP. YOU HAVE A REAL BED.

Don: Every time I see you, Kaylynn, I get chills up and down my spine!

Actually, I'm pretty sure that was the onset of winter doing that.

Don: Nonsense, it's not winter yet!

Winter: FUCK. Seasons aren't like light switches. Somebody needs to stop screwing with the weather! Call me back when it's really my turn.Don: Okay, anyway, Kaylynn! I got you this thing!Kaylynn: OH MY GOD IS IT A WATCH?!

Don: Kaylynn and me was like douchebags and cheerleaders.

Yup.

Kaylynn: HOLY SHIT IT'S JEWELLERY?! I WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!

Don: So yeah, will you marry me?Kaylynn: Jewellery!Don: ...is that a yes?Kaylynn: JEWELLERY!

Don: A woman after my own heart...

I think she's after your money, actually.

Don: But the way to a man's money is through his heart.

Or his pants pocket when he's asleep, but believe whatever you want to, dude.

Trevor Phelps: Ben! It's him!Benjamin Peshterianu: Shut up dude, I'm trying to figure out this question!Trevor Phelps: The answer is "Benjamin Peshterianu." But look! Dude! It's the dude!Benjamin:What dude?Trevor: The dude! The dumb dude with the chicks! The dude that the dude with the thing told us to give the thing to so he could make the chick thing and cause the thing with the dudes!Don: I'm right here, guys.Trevor: Like that matters. You'll never break our dude code!

Virginia: So, what're you studying?Vanessa: Art history. You?Virginia: I'm not actually studying anything. I just like watching the dudes walk by, see us, and then try to pretend not to stare.

-sniffle- She stayed at her post... while the dormies ran...

Celeste Mazza: Enough with the fucking Star Trek jokes already.

Enough with the fucking everything already! That's Chapter Ten, done and done. After the next chapter, things will never, ever be the same: the apocalypse begins in Chapter Eleven and will consume the entire neighbourhood before it ends. The violence, nudity, crudity, sex, and sex will expand to truly epic proportions. BE THERE.

I really hate dormies...

Comments are always welcome on any entry, no matter its age, and all comments will likely be responded to.