Previously known as "caloriesandcoffee.com."
I am on a quest to change my life by losing 100 pounds and becoming healthy and fit. My plan involves counting calories with My Fitness Pal, keto and working out. I'm not striving for skinny, I'm striving for fit!

Sunday, April 30, 2017

I think that every day that goes by I have to make a conscious decision to stay in low carb/keto no matter how much I'd rather do flexible dieting or moderate carb or whatever, because as soon as my mind opens to the possibility of a lot more carbs, they are all "bad" carbs and it's just easier to stick with what I know will work for me. But I need to remind myself every single day (if not several times a day) that this IS best for me.

It's a tough thing to have to keep admitting to myself, that I just can not control myself around simple sugars and carbs but if that's how it is then that's how it is.

I know it'll get easier as the days go by. Maybe when I'm done losing all the weight I can go up on carbs some, I don't know. I just wanted to type that out. I know I go back and forth a lot but I also know that as soon as that carb possibility opens cheating is foremost on my mind. So it has to remain closed and the carbs low.

And I know that as soon as I'm done detoxing (today is day 4) the positives of low carb will kick in and I'll start feeling really good again!

Friday, April 28, 2017

So I'm basically taking this food thing one day at a time right now. I know I want to detox from crap and simple sugars and carbs but the workout days will call for more healthy carbs.

I'm still working my way through the book my trainer recommended and while I love it, it goes against everything I learned about low carb (it's about flexible dieting, a totally different macros breakdown being highest to low: protein, then carbs, then fat and calories are very important plus tons of other stuff).

I'm not just trying to lose weight and get healthy, I realized that I pretty much have to reteach myself to eat correctly and I don't know if I've ever eaten that way :/ but it's time I learned.

I just have to accept and be okay with the fact that my days won't all be the same. Some will have lower carbs, some higher. Some will have healthier foods, some not as healthy. Some will be more meat and some will be more fruit. That's just life and that's how it works. As long as I can keep it on the healthy side and track all the important stuff I should be okay.

So, basically, things are going to be day to day for macros but I am STILL DETOXING FROM CRAP. I just want to make that clear!

Finally!! I am finally back at the gym and I am thrilled! I loved it and I was surprised by how much I was still able to do including a 63 second plank on my first one! It'll probably be less tomorrow because I worked out my upper body today but we'll see.

My treadmill incline and speed were definitely worse though and I had to switch out the chest press machine for a dumbbell chest press because the machine was broken, but other than that it was a great workout! Lower body day tomorrow!

My trainer wanted me to start slow with just weight machines so I am but I think I'll be ready for the workout I was doing before in about a week.

I'm still not sure what to do about carbs on workout days. I'll probably up them to about 100 net grams of good, healthy carbs (that's the trick) but we'll see. I didn't actually plan to go to the gym today until I suddenly decided to go so most of my food was eaten before I even went to the gym and I don't have many options, calories or macros left now for food. I'll have to pay more attention to it next time but I think it'll be fine for today.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Considering how badly this week went I have no idea how I even lost anything. All I've done is cheat left and right and that stops today.

Basically, I'm scaling the carbs back to 100 and under (50 and under most days) and I have to find a way to do this and not get obsessed because I don't have the willpower to work with a higher carb amount. As soon as I open up that carb amount area, the cheating kicks in and the only way to stop it is to drop back to low carb.

Yeah, of course I should be able to control myself at any carb amount but the honest truth is that I can't right now. I truly believe I had an addiction to simple carbs and sugars. If I was addicted to cigarettes or alcohol and was trying to quit them would I allow small portions of them into my life or have cheat days for them? No. I wouldn't. So why do I do that with carbs?

The weird thing is that as long as I keep my carb levels down (like under 50-100 total a day) I make them healthy because I get such a small amount (to me anyway). But as soon as the option to have more is open to me, all the good carbs vanish and the bad carbs come in. Why is it that I can stick with the low carb but not higher? I guess why isn't really important right now (maybe later when I see my therapist in a couple of weeks). What's important is that I KNOW what works and I have to just suck it up and do it.

I'm sick of cheating and feeling like crap from cheating and see the scale barely move. Hell, I could have been in the 180's by now if I'd stuck with it the last few weeks. I guess I just have to look at all these set-backs and mistakes and poor choices and learn from them instead of complaining about them. They were bad choices but I made them and now I have to deal with them. It's just that simple.

I know that if I could get through the first week that I'll be okay. That first week is horrible and hard but I've done it before so I know I can do it again. If I can just fully detox I can stick to this plan. It's the detoxing that's the hardest part of all of this but I guess nothing great came from things being easy.

Maybe even higher carb will work for me at some point and maybe it won't but right now it doesn't and I need to admit that, face it and move on.

So, basically that the plan. Back to lower carb/keto (once again, workout days are up in the air right now) and no matter what, I will stick to it. I HAVE to or I'll be stuck in this cycle forever.

Monday, April 24, 2017

So, since scaling back my plan from keto to low/moderate carb with healthy food I have felt so much better! The obsessing stopped almost immediately after making that change, I'm enjoying my food (healthy 80% of the time), I'm drinking a lot of water and I just need to get back to the gym.

I had planned on going back today but am battling a nasty headache that's verging on a migraine which I'm guessing is from the barometric pressure change that's happening today. If I can't get to the gym today, I absolutely will tomorrow. I already have the workout printed and my bag packed. I just need the headache to disappear.

The scale is also moving down pretty well and I'm just generally much happier. I feel like I can sustain this lifestyle for, well, life, versus how I was feeling when I was sticking to keto and it's so amazing to not be driving myself crazy obsessing over diets and numbers and macros and everything else!

Friday, April 21, 2017

So on Wednesday, after a lot of research, I decided to try for keto and keto adaptation. The parts I remembered about doing it before was feeling really good on low carb and losing weight.

The part I forgot? Picking something so restrictive that it sets off my obsessions until I drive myself and everyone around me (online people included) absolutely nuts.

Seriously, it has been SO bad, especially today and I realize now that I need to loosen the reigns a little both for my mental state and the mental state of those around me.

As you guys may know I have bipolar, I have also have some OCD going on along with anxiety and to me, saying I'm going for keto immediately translated into meaning I can never, ever, ever go over 50 carbs a day no matter how much I work out or what I do or how much I lose and so on. It meant no fruit and limited mostly green veggies. It meant I was obsessing over every carb and every bite and I couldn't take any more of it!

That kind of thinking doesn't make sense when you really think about it but the point is, I can't really think about it. Once the obsession kicks in it's a battle to get away from it even slightly, much less get out of the cycle. It's... well, it's not a good place to be in and I may end up calling my shrink if things don't improve over the weekend. I really don't want to mess with my meds again but I will if I have too.

So, after some serious reading, talking with friends and Charles and messaging with my trainer, I am changing things up a bit.

The general plan is still the same... healthy food, no crap, very little processed food, basically, mostly whole foods, with lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, veggies, and fats. But I'm still keeping it in the low-moderate carb range. Up to 150 grams of carbs on heavy workout days and under 100 grams of carbs on non-workout days (maybe around 50 on very lazy days).

That seems to work best for me in the long run. Yes, I would lose weight a lot faster with keto but if the last three days have shown me anything, it's that super restrictive things are just very bad for my mental health.

I'm still going to be detoxing from simple carbs and sugars and I still plan to keep them out of my diet 80% of the time. I'm still measuring, weighing and tracking food, counting calories and tracking macros. I'm still drinking a lot of water and still getting back to the gym. I'm still planning on not doing cheat days and I'm still going to work my butt off to make this weight loss and health thing happen.

I'm just changing up the carb amount and making it a little more livable for me. I may not become keto adapted or lose as much weight but maybe some of my sanity will return.

And, on top of all that, health is my number two concern, coming in right behind weight loss and I think I may do things in a healthier manner when I have more options for fruit and more carby veggies in my diet along with things like oatmeal.

So this is what I'm trying now. Let's see if I can actually make it happen.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Well, I guess I can't really blame being rehydrated last week for what the scale showed today :/ I'm glad I listened to my sister last week and went with what the scale actually showed despite the high weight gain.

But, I did lose a little and I am back on track! I have to admit that detoxing from simple carbs and sugars sucks so much worse after spending days and days eating Pascha food but it is what it is.

Today is day 2 of detoxing and I am ready to bite people's heads off (especially if they were made of sugars and carbs hahahahahha) but I just need to get through this hardest first week and then things will improve.

I don't really have much else to say so I think that covers it for now!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

So... after a ton more reading I decided how I want to approach this food/diet/lifestyle change thing.

I'm taking a minimum of 3 months at 50 grams of carbs and under a day and going for becoming "keto-adapted." I know a lot of people recommend going to 20 grams of carbs and under but I don't feel that's doable for me personally right now and I've always done really well with the 50 TOTAL carbs (less net). So, basically, I'm hoping I can get there with the amount of carbs I will be eating but we'll see.

Apparently, just because you detox from carbs and sugars, it doesn't mean you're fat-adapted or keto-adapted. That takes about eight-twelve weeks (more or less) and it is then that you truly begin to feel the positive effects of being low carb/keto, especially with working out.

Yes, you feel a lot of the effects earlier but to truly become keto-adapted you need that time and effort and that's when things really kick in, especially with weight training and endurance sports (I'll stick to weight training, thank you lol).

Here's a really great quoet that explains what I'm going for...

"...One of the goals of the keto diet is being "keto adapted". This means that your body is primed for functioning with very little glucose. Different enzymes are involved for breaking down fat than breaking down glucose. When you first enter ketosis, you are using fat for energy, but at first it's in limited amounts because you don't have as many fat-converting enzymes. These get built up over time. This is what causes the tiredness at the beginning of the diet. Once the enzymes are in place, your cells change the way they get energy. It's really amazing all the changes that have to happen internally for keto-adaptation to happen. It's like you can't just put diesel into a regular car engine and expect everything to work smoothly.Once you are keto-adapted (which can take a few weeks to a month depending on the person), fat/ketones becomes the preferred fuel. Hormone levels are changed, glycogen (glucose stored in muscles and liver) is lowered, you carry less excess water. You're able to function well - lots of energy, you can exercise, lift, build up endurance etc."

Anyway, since I've never truly gotten there because every cheat day kicks you out of the cycle (so NO cheating) and since I feel amazing on regular keto, I want to see what happens if I can stick it out. The plan is to really push myself after this goal and not to fall back into the carb trap because I need to change things or, basically, nothing will ever change!!

The plan to not go nuts and eat ALL THE CARBS after a 2 hour workout is to add more calories, protein and fat on the days when I'm at the gym for that long and just make sure I'm getting enough nutrients for the workouts I'm doing!

I also need to make sure I get enough sodium, magnesium and potassium, the latter two coming from supplements I take and I can add salt to anything (I have Celtic salt and Himalayan Salt). I also have electrolyte tablets to add to my water at the gym at the suggestion of my trainer.

I think if I set a minimum 3-month goal that I can do this. It'll be hard but I think it may be the best thing for me and most of my carbs will be in veggie form (preplanned and meal-prepped). Basically my meals will be built around protein, fat and veggies with veggies at at least 2 meals of the day. I'm also planning on lots of berries which are some of the best "fruit-like" food you can eat for low carb.

I will also continue to drink a lot of water and finally get my butt back to the gym!!

Charles is totally with me on this and is willing to help me any way that he can so, this is it. I have a solid plan and a solid choice and a solid deadline (July 27th). And then depending on how I'm doing with working out, with weight loss, with how I feel, etc, I'll decide what to do from there.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Now that Pascha eating is over I am back to low/moderate carb with a vengeance! As I've said numerous times, I feel my best on low/moderate carb and I'm much happier when I'm sticking to it.

I do want to focus on healthier foods, more veggies and more homemade stuff and I fully plan to be back in the gym tomorrow.

Basically I feel really good with all the water I've been drinking and I think as long as I keep that up I'll be able to get a lot more things accomplished in my day!

I'm not starting any daily or weekly counts over again, I'm not changing how I plan on tracking and I'm not even starting over from scratch because it's not like I've been cheating for weeks. I'm just getting more strict with it and want to stay away from "cheats" as long as possible!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

So at the beginning of this week I was losing weight quiet nicely. I was down two pounds but then the day in the ER ended up sending the scale way up by at least 4 pounds, so I decided to even it out and go with last week's weight which seems fair to me but then my sister suggested that I stick to what the scale shows and she's right. I'm not editing my weight, I'm going with whatever I see and this is what I see today. I just hope it's way, way lower next week!!

I worked very hard this past week and my jeans are even looser than they were before so I'm convinced that the weight is dropping, I just can't see it on the scale right now.

This weekend is Pascha (our Easter) which means lots and lots and lots of amazing food. I plan to enjoy one day of it and then get right back on track with low carb.

I also want to get back to the gym very badly and get more drawing done. I actually feel like I've accomplished almost nothing this week but I guess it is what it is. Now that I'm feeling better (and making sure to stay on top of the hydration big time) maybe I can actually accomplish some things!

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

So earlier today my sister asked me why I keep restarting my weekly counts and my day 1's and keep starting fresh with weight loss and don't I realize that it's okay to go over my macros sometimes and okay to go off plan a little and none of that means I have to keep restarting and I think my answer may have surprised us both.

I keep starting fresh because I feel like I have to be perfect on my plan. Every time I go off plan for more than a day I feel like I have to start all over again. I just need it to be perfect (yes, I have food issues and OCD issues and OCD food issues and disordered food thoughts and I actually finally called my therapist and will be seeing her this coming Tuesday) but the thing is, no one is perfect.

I can't be perfect and I will never be perfect because that's just how it is and I just need to accept that. It's been very eye-opening for me to actually say that out loud. It IS okay to have an off-day. It IS okay to go over macros now and then. It IS okay to be human. So why is it so hard for me?

I thought a lot about this conversation as I went on with my day and here is what I decided to do. I am getting rid of the weekly count and the monthly count of my weigh loss/heath and fitness plan. Instead of saying "Week 1" or "Week 2" or whatever with the weigh-in day and date it will just be the weigh-in day and date. Tomorrow will be "Weigh-in Thursday, April 13th." No weekly or monthly count, no low-carb or mod-carb or whatever listed. I'm taking away the thing that puts that pressure on me to try and achieve perfection and I really believe this will work.

Everything is else is staying the same though. Still low carb (still working on that), still counting calories and macros, still weighing and measuring food, still exercising and writing it all down. I'm just removing that couple of little things that set off that set off my OCD crap like a mouse trap triggered by a hungry mouse.

And I'm going to work very hard to not get obsessed over exercise that way as well although I've handled that part pretty well so far!

And speaking of exercise, when I do return to the gym (hopefully very, very soon) I'll be restarting with the basic weight machine workouts (upper day one day, lower the next) until I feel stronger and healthier and then once I'm back on my feet I can go back to my tougher workout!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

I think I will break this down into a bulletin format to make it easier lol...

1) got to my doctor's office this morning for a new blood test to check on the anemia and try to figure out the dizziness and light-headedness.

2) almost fell over while getting on the scale and was unsteady in his office.

3) blood pressure was 90/60, was very pale, incredibly, super thirsty, sort of out of it, unsteady and not like me at all

4) doctor and med student were worried so instead of doing the blood test there and waiting for the afternoon for the result they sent me to the hospital lab but asked me about 12 times if I was okay to drive (I was, I'm okay sitting down).

5) got to hospital lab and had to register, once again, unsteady on my feet and out of it. Nurse from doctor's office called to make sure I made it there okay, was told I'm not looking too good and said to just head downstairs to ER.

6) they wheeled me down in a wheel chair and got me registered pretty quickly.

7) given room in ER, blood taken, on blood pressure, heartbeat and respiration monitor, EKG done (it was fine), trying to get in touch with people who have no idea where I am (husband, kids, mom etc)

8) Charles takes a half day and meets me in my room. My blood pressure is being taken regularly and is low. Heart rate is also low, my normal is around 80's and this was at at 63. Can't get myself to use bathroom, horribly thirsty, was given small cup of water and nothing else just in case.

9) Time passes, I'm able to make some online posts but can't call from my phone, was finally able to give them a very small pee sample, They test my blood pressure and watch the heart rate when I am laying down, sitting and standing up and it doesn't look great standing or sitting.

11) I'm given a liter of fluids, my blood pressure starts to go up and I no longer feel like falling asleep.

12) Fluid is all in, they retest my vitals while laying, sitting, standing and I do much better, Blood pressure is looking really good. Anemia markers all the same as they were last week so they don't think it's a slow bleed.

13) They still don't know why I'm anemic or why I feel lightheaded and like passing out so I think I'll be seeing my doctor more. Also seeing my "female stuff" doctor on Friday afternoon.

14) I am allowed to go home!!

15) I no longer think this is at all connected to carbs and plan on sticking to low carb, just not sure how low. I want to keep going with 50 and under on regular days and maybe going higher on workout days but I will keep listening to my body on that one. Either way, the plan isn't changing, just the amount of carbs may a little.

16) I assume I'll be seeing my doctor more and I'll keep updating as I learn anything new.

17) Yes, I am seriously working on the hydration/drinking thing now. I actually spent all last night dreaming that I was desperately trying to drink but none of the water was able to touch my throat. Nice of my body to give me a head's up :/

Monday, April 10, 2017

I was wicked lightheaded and dizzy this morning (almost fell down the basement stairs because my ears felt full of cotton and my vision was tilting...the furnace guy rang the doorbell so I had to jump up and rush down to let him in instead of getting up much slower like I normally would and it was early in the morning which is when I am at my most lightheaded/dizzy) but it passed by much faster than it has in the last few days. Although it's been back for a few hours now.

I feel like I don't know what I'm doing anymore to make things better when things only seem to work for a few hours. Could it be the anemia? Sodium? One of my meds?

I'm just tired, physically and mentally and while I miss the gym horribly, I keep making excuses about why I'm not going because my body doesn't feel good and I have no idea what to do with food anymore... is it really the carbs that make me feel better? Do they really matter at all in the end?

Is it healthier for me to eat more carbs or is it healthier to eat less. It used to be healthier to eat less and what if this has nothing to do with carbs at all? Am I messing up my food and my weight loss because I 'think" it's the carbs that helped when it could have been one of many other things.

I'm starting to think that's it's not the carbs affecting this anymore so I think I'm sticking with low carb but listening to my body at the same time and giving it more when it needs it. I think. Maybe... I don't know. But how am I supposed to listen to my body when it keeps telling me conflicting things????

I just feel really lost right now. For a while I felt like I had a lot of answers and today I feel like I know nothing. Maybe I'm just having a bad day.... I don't know.

But my doctor does want to see me in the morning and take more blood tests to make sure my sodium and my anemic levels aren't dropping and I guess we'll go from there.

I just hope this all gets sorted out soon because I can't keep living my life like this!!

Sunday, April 9, 2017

I've been doing fine with cravings and stuff on low carb/keto but physically I've been feeling pretty bad and didn't even make it to the gym this week or work out at home.

I spent most of the week with a very, very bad headache and feeling dizzy, lightheaded and like passing out most mornings (and throughout the day) all of which I attributed to carb detox and giving up Advil.

But today I changed things. Today is day 5 low carb and normally I feel way better by now but I didn't. Not at all. So after church (where I had to sit through most of it). I actually listened to my body and gave it what it was crying out for... organic cereal (6 ingredients), blueberries and milk.

Yes, I ate more carbs but they were healthy ones and I can't believe how much better I feel so, yes, the plan is being edited.

I still want to eat healthy food. I still want to stay away from simple carbs and sugar, processed food, take out and so on for at least 98% of my eating (special occasions will be decided by occasion). But I am going to allow more carbs in (as long as they are healthy carbs) because it's obviously what I need, especially once I start up at the gym again (the plan is for tomorrow).

I think that's a pretty reasonable change and I don't feel like I'm making a huge mess out of the plan. I really need to go with my body and with how it feels. It's all about listening to your body and eating well and for nutrition. Calories and macros will still be counted, food will still be measured and weighed but I really need to do whatever it takes to feel and to get healthy. I can't go through my days feeling horrible physically and hoping it improves because I'm barely getting anything accomplished. And no one should just feel awful all the time.

My goal here is not just to lose weight but to be healthy and fit as well.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Yes! Down another pound this week and getting closer to my short-term goal of 190 lbs. And once I hit 189.8 I will be at my lowest weight since 2007!

I'm still dealing with a really bad headache because I've not only detoxing from simple carbs and sugars again but also from Advil. I haven't taken any since Monday when I saw my doctor because the thought of GI bleeding due to Advil kind of freaked me out :/ I'm sure the headache will be better any day now though (especially when the low carb kicks in) so I have hope.

It's also been a really bad week for work (major computer crash) so I'm not really sure what my schedule looks like right now. We're hoping the have the work computer back by tonight/tomorrow morning and then I have a ton of work of catch up on because I haven't been able to get any done yet this week so there's a good chance I'll be spending most of tomorrow at work. I'm fine with that, it just affects my gym time.

And speaking of the gym, I miss it horribly and I am set and determined to be back in there on Saturday (once again this is dependent on the work computer situation). I think I'll start the week over again with Push Day A since it's been 4 days since I've fully worked out.

I'm also signing up for a yoga class at the gym and I'm really excited about that but they need six people to make it happen and I'm not sure if anyone but me is interested :/ I really hope someone is!

I'm doing great with the low carb thing and plan on fully sticking with it so hopefully this will be my last detox for a long time.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Okay, so I saw my doctor about my blood test results and there's good news and bad news. Good news is my cholesterol and blood pressure are perfect and I am all set to stick with low carb/keto. In fact, my doctor is the person who first suggested it to me and he truly believes people don't need most carbs, especially crap ones.

But, he wants me to (and I totally agree with him) to eat REAL food. Meat, veggies, some nuts and dairy, maybe a little fruit and that's it. I also need to hit my protein levels better and up my calories the days I work out.

Now for the bad news, I'm now anemic and he's worried that there's bleeding somewhere, maybe an ulcer, because of the Advil and stuff I take to try and combat the headaches so I have to give them a, um, "sample" and they're probably going to do an upper endoscopy.

I told him that my Mom is anemic and I was as a kid and could it be my diet, but he really thinks that it's not my diet (even if that needs to be seriously improved) so I'm most likely looking at the endoscopy thing. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but better safe than sorry I guess.

And I spoke with my trainer for a while today and her thing is that I need to pick something and stick to it and she's absolutely right. I HAVE TO stop going back and forth with my food and my carbs and my plans. Low Carb/Keto works best for me. I feel my best on it and I can do this! Charles even offered to cook so all I have to do is give him the recipe, buy ingredients and actually eat the food that he makes.

I've been able to do this before but I've had a hard time sticking to a lot of things in the last six or so months but I can and I will do this. I'm so sick of going back and forth and or trying to decide on plans and foods and recipes and everything. I'm sick of fake food and protein bars and protein shakes and never feeling like I have enough to eat and how unhealthy it is. I have to stick with this, if not just for physical health but for my mental health as well.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Sooooo happy to be back in the gym after two days off due to weather! I was also able to go up on my weights on almost every exercise which is pretty exciting as well!

The chest press machine went from 15 lbs to 20 lbs, dumbbell pullover from 10 lbs to 12 lbs, dumbbell press from 5 lbs to 8 lbs, tricep extension machine from 45 lbs to 50 lbs and overhead tricep extensions from 10 lbs to 12 lbs. I also added the triangle crunch to this workout. The pulley raise was the only exercise where the weight stayed the same.

Going back for more tomorrow and so far Day 2 Low Carb is going okay. Detox sucks but it's my own fault so I'm just dealing with it.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Very basic workout today, just planks and a stretch but each plank was at over 60 seconds which is a new one for me so I'm happy. I also changed some things in the stretch so it's a little different by a few movements. Still dealing wit a headache but it's coming and going and I'm going to take full advantage of the "going" part and try to get some stuff accomplished!

EDITED TO ADD:I held off on full-out low carb until I saw my doctor yesterday and took a look at all my blood test results so everything got moved to today which turned into tomorrow so the 5th is the official restarting date and I will be posting my food daily here on the blog to keep me accountable (thanks to my sister for the great idea!!)

Welcome to April 1st in Southern Vermont where the snow falls nonstop and Spring doesn't count.

Anyway, outside of that I am restarting the low carb thing yet again only because I had two off days (you can blame me, my cravings or that whole womanly thing that women like to blame things on ;) ).

I know I want to stick with low carb (50 grams of carbs and under, maybe a little more on gym days, we'll see how my body feels). I know that and I know what to do and how to do it to make it good and healthy but I figured, you know what, let's start fresh on the first day of the month (no April Fool's tricks here at all).

I know this means detoxing yet again but I can handle it. And thanks to the weather and the migraine, I'm still stuck at home. Today's plan is to do planks and a long stretch and do everything in my power to be back at the gym tomorrow.

So, yesterday is going to be Week 0 and we're starting again but I am set and determined to make this the last start for a long, long, long time and I KNOW I can do it. I just have to be stronger than the cravings and I am determined to stop letting them rule me.