This is my first SCP I have written. I have posted stuff for friends, but it has never gone over very well. I want to try my hand at this. I could use some advice or opinions on this SCP. This one was based on a school legend at my school, although I did heavily modify the legend. The SCP Number will be changed at a later date.

Students will only be allowed to enter the restrooms if it is a dire emergency.

What counts as a 'dire emergency'?

SCP-3084 is a child whose soul resides within the gymnasium bathrooms of ███████████ Elementary School in █████████, Kentucky.

Right off the bat, this has massive tone issues. Remember: The Foundation is a scientific organisation.

- There are no 'ghosts', there are apparitions.
- There are no 'vampires', there are humanoids with hemophilia and an allergy to UV-Radiation.
- There are no 'zombies', there are reanimated corpses.

SCP-3084 had been seen by both faculty and students for over 15 years, but only came to the foundation's knowledge on 10/4/20██ after a young girl ran out of the female restroom covered in blood

You already said this.

SCP-053 was sent into the restroom to attempt communication. SCP-053 is ██ years old at the time.

No, that's way too dangerous. We're not moving a memetic hazard outside of containment for a test. This makes Foundation personnel look like irresponsible idiots.

Further studies show that the entity mentioned by SCP-3084 is an entity that is summoned by a cult, called "The Fallen Sons".

This makes the backstory more interesting, but the information comes from completely nowhere. How did we find this out? The backstory for that seems like it would be a lot more interesting than the description of who got thrown at which wall.

The notes at the end made this distinct enough to be more than 'generic murdered ghost girl', but the concept is emphasised very heavily on this trope.

The more interesting part, about the one pulling the strings, is explained very suddenly in a hastily added exposition dump which makes it feel a lot cheaper.

So, rather than writing an object like an encyclopedia entry for its own sake, think of the story that you're telling with the document. Give the reader a sense of immersion, of what happened when recovering and containing it. Give them a taste of what happened behind the procedures, if you will. Make them emotionally invested as they read and continue reading. Give your reader a reason to think about the bigger picture, what's going on behind the scenes.

Revisions have been made. I wanted to keep the ghost girl, as that was the legend the SCP was based on, however I tried to get rid of her trying to kill most of the communicators so that way I could present more information on "The Fallen" and "The Fallen Sons". I wanted this to be the start of a series of SCPs, like "The Church of the Broken God" SCPs or the "Class of 76'" SCPs. This would be the introduction. Most of the areas are based on actual locations in Kentucky (my home), but I will also have some places not based on anything.