I thought it would be painful, letting you go.

I thought I would suffer, that my heart would be anguished with the loss of you. Or worse, maybe it would stop beating altogether.

Maybe without you, I would simply cease to exist.

I thought I would become adrift, for you had been the anchor I had formed my identity upon, the compass I had relied on for my direction. I thought without you I would become lost, disoriented.

I had expected to taste salty tears as they fell upon lips that once spoke so fondly of you; that my head would lay on my pillow damp with tears for as many nights as the moon continued to kiss the stars.

But one day, I just knew.

I hadn’t expected such a feeling of relief as I cut the ropes that once shackled me to you. One instant of tremendous clarity. One instant, where I finally knew.

I no longer needed you.

I no longer needed your expectations I could never meet; your hoops too high to jump through, your goal posts that shifted with every changing breeze.

I no longer needed your blame, your excuses, your justifications.

I no longer needed your pseudo love, fraught with conditions and attached with strings.

I thought I needed you. I didn’t.

I thought it would be hard to let you go. It wasn’t.

I thought I would miss you. I don’t.

For in one instant my heart was awakened to the truth of who I am.

I am more than the lies you made believe about myself. I am more than the look of failure in your eyes when I fell short of your demands. I am more than how worthless you made me feel. I am more than the ways you tried to break me.

I am a warrior, sculpted by the hands of creation, fashioned into being by the very hands that created the oceans and the stars and the mountains and air.

I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.

I am everything you are not.

I will no longer carry the shame you made me suffer under the weight of.

That shame belongs to you.

And I will no longer carry my hate for you.

For that will only ever bind me to your darkness and give you permission to destroy my light. It will allow you to stay within me, to destroy my peace, to blacken my heart with the malice that lives within you.

It will tie me to your soul-destroying bitterness, your ugliness.

It will anchor me once more to you, who tried to drown me.

Instead, I will choose to go into the world and love more fiercely, show more compassion, be more generous, offer more kindness.

I will choose to forgive. For me, not for you.

I will choose to sow what I wish to see reaped for my children’s future.

No longer am I held down by all I allowed you to be in my life.

I no longer need you.

I am free.

Written by Kathy Parker

17 Beliefs About Love You Need To Let Go Of If You Want To Be Happy

1. Let go of the belief that there’s only one right way to feel it, experience it, and live it.

2. Let go of the belief that romantic love is the answer to all of your problems, and that as soon as you find it, all the anxiety you have about your job and your social life and your overall existence will magically dissipate.

3. Let go of the belief that the reason you have not yet found your person is because you’re unlovable. Let go of every instinct within you that wants you to believe that something is wrong with you, or that something about you must be fixed. That’s the bad side of your brain talking.

4. Let go of the belief that everyone else’s romantic life or single life must be way better than yours, since it seems that way.

5.Let go of the belief that once you find love, everything that comes afterwards is easy and effortless and perfect and a total cakewalk.

6. Let go of the belief thatyou only deserve to find love once everything else in your life is perfect.

7.Let go of the belief that love is something you must cross off of a checklist, that you need to find your soulmate in order to be ‘successful’ and to be considered someone with a good life.

8.Let go of the idea that your future lifelong love must be perfect. Let go of the image you’ve built up in your brain – of someone strong and flawless and simply everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Come to terms with the fact that the right person can be imperfect while still being perfect for you.

9. Let go of the pressure you feel to explain your ‘single situation’ to that nosy person at that party. Let go of the belief that you are required to give them a detailed answer as to what could possibly be so wrong with you that you are ‘still’ alone. Learn that there is nothing wrong with politely or not-so-politely telling them to leave you alone.

10. Let go of the belief that everyone who is in a relationship is radiantly happy, and that everyone who is single is unbelievably depressed.

11. Let go of the belief that love should always feel weightless and beautiful and easy. Even with the right person, it can still be really damn hard.

12. Let go of the belief that there’s an age limit to finding new love. Some of the happiest people around found love at 43.

13. Let go of the idea that you can only be truly whole once you’ve found another person. They can make you feel whole and complete and known, but you can also do this on your own.

14. Let go of your desire to have every milestone in your life organized, planned, and scheduled down to the minute. You can control a lot of things in your life, but you can’t control how or when or even if you fall in love.

15. Let go of the belief that you need someone else to come into your life to make everything right. You can start that all by yourself, right now.

16. Let go of the idea that you’re alone. Because even if you’re single, even if you think you’re the most single person in the world, you’re still not alone.

17. Let go of the idea that finding true, incredible, soul-shaking love is the only option. It’s a breathtaking option, it’s a wonderful option, and I hope with my everything that it happens to you. But I cannot promise you that it absolutely will. And even if it doesn’t, you will be okay. Okay can still mean you’ll sometimes be sad, or lonely, or frustrated. But still, you will be okay.

Second love teaches you how to love again after you’ve been broken. It teaches you that love still exists, that you’re capable of loving again and loving harder. That you can still have faith in love no matter how much pain your first love caused you. Second love is there to pick up the pieces.

Second love gives you hope. That your fairy tale is still out there. That heartbreak is not the end of the world and that there are better things ahead. It shows you what happens when you move on, when you let go, when you try again and when you never lose hope. Second love shows you the light after the dark.

Second love is braver. It means you know how to forgive, you know how to risk getting hurt again because it’s worth it. It means that you’re prepared for the worst but you’re hoping for the best. Second love makes you stronger.

Second love makes you believe in timing. Why things didn’t work out the first time around, why you fell in love with the wrong person, why you had to get your heartbroken and why someone left you when they promised to love you. It’s here to tell you that there is always a valid reason behind your pain and that loving someone doesn’t always mean they’re right for you. Second love answers all these questions.

Second love makes sense. It’s not based on childhood fantasies or lust or infatuation. It’s not blind or reckless or toxic. It’s not based on unrealistic expectations or sheer obsession. Second love comes after you’ve learned to listen to your gut, to watch for the red flags, to pick someone because they will add value to your life and when you’ve learned to make decisions out of maturity not out of loneliness.

Second love shows you that you can be someone’s first choice and shows you what it really means to be loved.

by Rania Naim

2018 will be a selfish year. My time will be invested on me. On improving myself. I want to become a better person physically and mentally.

1. Stop living life that always stays still, a life where you only watch other people run after the things they truly want in life while you just lay back because you’re too scared of even giving it a try.

2. Stop just having 4 hours of sleep every night. Have you ever noticed how irritable you get after you’ve been sleep-deprived for too long? No matter how busy you are, take out at least 8 hours of sleep in a day. You can watch that season tomorrow. You can scroll through your news-feed in the morning. And you can chat with your friends when you’ve gotten some rest.

3. Stop thinking that fear is something that should be avoided at all times. In some situations, fear is actually our heart’s way of letting us know about the things we truly want in life, but are scared of pursuing because of how people will perceive them or how we might end up failing. If your heart begins to pound the minute you think about signing up for those dance lessons or applying for that new job or even making amends with that long-lost friend, then it’s time to truly listen. Start embracing your fears. I guarantee you won’t regret it.

4. Stop putting up with people who have clearly been taking you for granted, people who can’t even meet you half-way, and people who keep expecting you to constantly be there for them but will not even message to ask if you’re okay in your time of need.

5. Stop putting up with a life where you always have to hide your true mental state, whether it’s some form of depression, anxiety, OCD or anything in the world. Stop making yourself believe that you’re a burden on this world. Stop telling yourself that the things you’re feeling are something you should be ashamed of. And stop assuming that no one and nothing can help you get out of this.

6. Stop putting up with a job that constantly makes you want to kill yourself, only because you feel convinced that this is the only one you’re capable of getting.

7. Stop putting up with a body that keeps making you feel like there’s something wrong. If you think you’re being unhealthy, start putting in efforts to change that. Take out some time to exercise every day. Start eating less outside and incorporate healthy food such as fruits and vegetables into your diet. Keep reminding yourself that sometimes, one drink is enough for you. Take the stairs instead of waiting a long time for the lift to come. And walk as much as you can instead of lying in your bed all day.

8. Stop putting up with days that will have no significance in your life. Life is short and you have very little time to keep wasting. It’s true that at times, we all need to just take some time away- time where we can just relax and do absolutely nothing. But if you spend every single weekend just sleeping in your bed all day, or aimlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed or even binge watching a show that you’ve already seen a hundred times before, it’s never going to make you feel happy. Instead, you might end up being filled with emptiness.

9. Stop putting up with people who don’t accept you exactly the way you are, who always give comments or act in ways that reflect how badly they want you to change your personality, and who make you feel like you just can’t ever be good enough for them.

10. Stop putting up with excess. I’m not implying here that you should start feeling guilty about the spa day you treated yourself to after a month of constant tensions or even about buying those amazing shoes you had your eyes on for quite a long time. But maybe it’s time to stop buying clothes that you won’t even wear more than once, to reconsider your decision of getting that expensive phone upgrade you don’t really need, and to make sure you don’t keep buying excess food that you will have to throw away later and feel bad about. Try out a new and simpler lifestyle this year and observe if it has a positive effect on your personality and general outlook in life.

11. Stop putting up with a work environment that makes you feel unimportant, a place that keeps implying that you don’t really matter, a place that keeps ignoring your voice, and a place that treats you like a disposable commodity instead of an actual human being.

12. Stop putting up with a life where you’re constantly on autopilot- where you wake up like a zombie every morning and go to work with zero emotions, where you prefer to play on your phone instead of enjoying an actual conversation when you’re out with friends, where you actually think long and hard before saying anything that’s actually in your heart. It’s time to allow yourself to relax, to start being truly present, and to make the best out of every moment in your life.

13. Stop putting up with toxic social situations. If you get invited to a lunch with people who you know are extremely judgmental and gossipy, people who have more interest in other’s lives than their own, and people who can never be true to you or to anyone else, then don’t force yourself to go out of obligation. Decline their offer politely and if that’s not possible for some reason, just make an appearance and leave after an hour max. You are not obligated to keep giving more of your time and energy to people who don’t deserve them.

14. Stop putting up with being the person who is just an ‘okay’ friend to others. If a friend is in a bad place in their life where they just can’t seem to find a reason to smile, then show up to their place with some ice cream and don’t leave them alone to their thoughts until you feel like they’re ready. If your friend is doing something you don’t approve of, try to understand their reasons behind it without immediately judging them or writing them off. If your friend has done something wrong to you, give them a chance to explain and if they actually apologize, forgive them. Just remember that most of the awful things a friend has done to you, you probably did them to someone else once.

15. Stop putting up with always placing a mediocre effort into everything you do. Life isn’t just about doing the bare minimum- showing up to your job and waiting for the evening to go home instead of actually working hard to give back to your organization, or studying just enough to get a passing grade instead of working to achieve your full potential. Keep challenging yourself. Keep forcing yourself to grow. And keep working towards becoming the best possible version of yourself.

16. Stop putting up with always maintaining a negative attitude about things in your life that aren’t actually that bad or negative. If your professor didn’t give you the marks you were hoping for in a paper you worked hard on, go and talk to him about how you can do things differently next time. If someone at office was rude to you, understand that they might be going through a rough day and then just forget about it. If it’s extremely hot outside, remind yourself about how lucky you are to be sitting in an air-conditioned room with a roof above your head. If the traffic is really terrible, appreciate how this is one of the uncommon times when you really have nothing else to do but think freely about yourself and your life.

17. Stop putting up with the thought that happiness is some kind of end goal to achieve in life instead of a constant state of being. You can keep running after that promotion you always wanted but once you get it, you’ll just start looking for a higher post to achieve. You can keep pursuing that girl you always wanted to date but once she finally says yes and enters into a normal relationship with you, things will start to feel pretty ordinary instead of being as exciting as they once looked. You can keep trying to grab some fame, power or general praise in life but at what point will you finally feel like it’s enough? At one point or the other, you need to accept the fact that if you continue chasing things in life, you will just keep coming up with something new and better that you NEED to have. But if you actually focus on the sheer joy of being, you will have a much easier time discovering some real happiness. Happiness is right there with you. You just have to stop for a minute and start feeling it.

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognised that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

~ By Charlie Chaplin

May I have forgiveness in my heart for anything I think I’ve done wrong.May I forgive myself for what I think were all my past omissions and commissions. They are long gone. I understand that I was a different person then and this one is forgiving the one that I was. May I feel the forgiveness filling me and enveloping me with a sense of warmth and ease.

May I forgive my parents for anything I have ever blamed them for. May I understand that they, too, are different now. May this forgiveness fill them and surround them, and may I know in my heart that this is my most wonderful way of togetherness.May I forgive my nearest and dearest people for anything that I think they have done wrong or are doing wrong at this time. May they feel that I accept them. May that forgiveness fill them, realizing that this is my expression of love. May I forgive my friends for anything I have disliked about them. May my forgiveness reach out to them so that they can be filled with it and embraced by it.

May I forgive the people I know, whoever they might be, for whatever it is that I have blamed them for, for what I have judged them for, or for what I have disliked. May my forgiveness fill their hearts, and surround and envelope them with it, and let it be my expression of love for them.

May I forgive fully any special person towards whom I still have resentment, rejection, or dislike. May I remember that everyone is suffering. May this forgiveness come from my heart and reach out to that person completely and totally. May I forgive any one person, or any situation, or any group of people, whom I am condemning, blaming, or disliking. May my forgiveness be my expression of unconditional love. They may not do what I think are the right things.

May I remember that all human beings are suffering and that my heart needs forgiveness in order to have purity of love. May I look again and see whether there’s still anyone or anything anywhere in the world that I blame or condemn. May I forgive them so that there is no separation in my heart.

May I put my attention back on myself and recognize the goodness in me and the effort I am making. May I feel the warmth and ease that comes from my forgiveness.

When I chose to let you go, there was no great moment of triumph.There wasn’t an earth-shattering epiphany that changed my life, where music played and the universe conspired to bring everything together for good.

There was no conflict, no turmoil and no struggle. No internal argument. No weighing of pros and cons. No decision to be analyzed to death—even by me, who cannot make a decision without weeks of obsessive thought over every possible outcome.

There were only two words, when I chose to let you go:

No more.

No more will I measure my worth against your opinion. No more will I be pressed into the shapes you carved for me. No more will I tell my heart to quiet down, ashamed of its clatter. No more will there be blood on my feet from the eggshells I walked on as I tried not to give cause for your disapproval.

No more will I anguish over the ways you misunderstood me. No more will I fight to justify the intention of my heart. No more will I beg for you to see me, the real me—to know me, to love me.

No more will I live my life for you.

When I chose to let you go, there was no holy encounter. The stars did not collapse from the sky and cascade into the oceans. There was no ferocious wind that rattled the walls or blazing fire that consumed all within its destructive path.

There was only quiet resolution, the silent death of leaves that drift to the ground as frost begins to waste them away.And there I found myself, in the barren ground where you once stood; I came to understand there must be winter.

Winter in all its loss, its grief, its letting go.There must be a time for old things to die, that new things may be born.

When I chose to let you go, it was for me.

I learned to love myself even when you made me feel I deserved no love. To honor my own needs, my own heart and my own potential. To walk my own path, not yours. To not be pulled back into your confines while my spirit yearned to be free.

When I chose to let you go, I made coffee, ate toast, and folded clothes. I went to yoga and collected my mail and paid my bills. There was nothing out of place on the outside of my ordinary life—no visible change, nothing new or different.