Within two New York minutes, actress-comedian Rachel Dratch is stopped on the street twice: first by a former neighbor who misses seeing her around the ’hood, then by a die-hard “SNL” fan who says he “has to get a picture with her.”

She greets both equally with the same wide blue eyes and bright smile. Dratch— originally from the suburbs of Boston — loves New York City and the fact that New Yorkers feel comfortable enough to come up to her and speak their minds, even if it’s to ask, “Where have you been?”

In fact, she’s been asked it so much she’s now answering neighbors and fans all at once, via the refreshingly candid memoir, “Girl Walks Into a Bar . . . : Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters and a Midlife Miracle,” out Thursday.

Because, you see, the “Saturday Night Live” alum known for characters such as the quintessential buzz killer Debbie Downer, and “wicked awesome” Boston teen Denise McDonough, has actually been quite busy.

But not in showbiz. These days, the 46-year-old comedian is more likely to be waking up at 4:30 a.m. to comfort her 19-month-old son, Eli, rather than rolling home from an after-after-party at

Tracy Morgan’s place. Though she always wanted to be a mom, Dratch admits she had given up on the idea.

“Once you hit your late 30s and early 40s, everyone tells you time isn’t on your side — it’s depressing,” she says. “I didn’t want to have a baby on my own, and I wasn’t in a serious relationship.”

That’s an understatement. Dratch’s dating history, which she refers to as a “roller coaster of ridiculousness,” reads like a setup to a joke: “An alcoholic, a pothead and a sex addict walk into a bar . . . ” Dratch affectionately refers to her former boyfriends as “The Three Addicts, none of which were husband material.”

Then at 43, she met a guy (you guessed it!) at a bar — Shoolbred’s in the East Village. He was from North Carolina and about to try absinthe. Soon enough, they were making plans for the following evening “Absinthe Man” John Wahl, a California-based natural-foods consultant, arrived “bearing bacon-flavored lip balm. This guy could be a winner,” Dratch quips in the book. After dining with pals, she invited him up to her place, but said, “Let’s not go apes–t.”

Whether they did or didn’t that night is unclear, but the two struck up a flirty, long-distance relationship and started meeting each other in cities and on Hawaiian islands. “I don’t think either of us was, like, ‘I’ve found the One!’” she says, “but neither of us was too concerned about that fact.”

Until Dratch peed on a stick at home and saw two lines. “I was in shock. I didn’t believe it. It was the ultimate practical joke from God!” says Dratch, who actually thought her missing period and extreme PMS were signs of early menopause.

After the initial shock wore off, fear set in. “Can I do this? What if I’m alone?” she wondered.

She wouldn’t be. Her boyfriend of six months, who, yes, was also shocked and asked her to take the test again, eventually picked up and moved cross-country to be closer to her and their son.

Eli lives with Dratch in the Union Square area, while Wahl has his own digs elsewhere in the city. “We’re still trying to figure out what we are to each other,” explains Dratch. “Eli was a total surprise, and we’ve been so focused on him that we haven’t really had time to define what we are.”

They do, however, make time for date nights and “adult time.”

“We’re an unconventional New York family,” she says.

In hindsight, Dratch, is happy her career took an unintentional break.

She had hoped “SNL” would be a springboard to a successful TV career — and it almost was. She left “SNL” at the same time as “30 Rock” creator Tina Fey, who asked Dratch to play the part of Jenna on the show. She thought this was the answer to her career prayers — until she was replaced by Jane Krakowski, who reportedly was recast because she was “prettier.” (Dratch is still pals with Fey.)

“When I was let go, I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Dratch says matter of factly. “The direction of the character had changed and pilots are recast all the time. I thought it would be a nonstory, but suddenly it blew up.”

Dratch’s career began to stall. “I was watching a lot of ‘Oprah’ and ‘Judge Mathis,’ ” she confesses. “Script after script, they wanted me to play the unattractive lesbian or the 200-pound 55-year-old,” she says. “You start thinking, ‘That’s how Hollywood sees me?’ It was disappointing.”

Nearly six years after leaving “SNL,” she may have broken the streak with a new TV pilot in which she co-stars opposite Minnie Driver and Andrea Anders in “Lady Friends.”

“My character is not a lesbian! She’s not obese! She’s funny!” says Dratch. “I hope this show gets picked up!”

For now, Dratch revels in being a mom. “Not to get all cornball-Hallmark cards on you, but I feel like I was sent some Cinderella-type fairy godmother when I had Eli,” says Dratch. “I hope my story will make other single ladies feel good about themselves and help them realize that it’s never too late for them. I’m living proof.”