Canadian Hope

We are a binational gay couple living in Toronto formerly in NJ, USA. We struggled for 6 years just to remain together. In early 2006 we were inspired to apply for residency in Canada because we yearned to be free, equal and safe from the tyranny of the right.
This blog will be a mix of our immigration process, our daily lives and topics of interest like politics and religion.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy American Thanksgiving- A day late

I am working covering the jobs of all my American co-workers while they celebrate. I am driving down to Jesusland this Sunday or sooner depending on the snow storm that is coming. So last night I got a call from my family as they all were enjoying being together. I thought I would be sad for not being there, but I am here safe and warm with my little family of Emilio and our four legged kids, and that is what I am most thankful for.

I also got the added benefit of avoiding the Fox news talking points of some family members that vote Republican as the US and world economies are in ruins from Republican policies, that voting based on abortion while conservative policies create a third world infant mortality rates in the US, and the killing of millions of innocent civilians who's crime is having brown skin and a different religion. There is so much more and yet does it really need to be said here? I hope someday they will learn voting based on Gods, Gays and Guns is stupid.

Emilio and I are having a hard time of it lately about my going down to visit family and friends. Mostly because in our 7 years together we've only spent one night apart and it was at a sleep apnea clinic in ajoining rooms. Emi can't go to the US yet, our lawyer is still working on it.When the person you love most in the world has been threatened to be taken away from you simply because you are gay, it really does take it's toll. I guess that is why in almost 7 years we haven't been apart. It may sound extreme and odd to some people, but the idea of being apart even for a short time is not easy for us.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Protest at American Embassy for equal marriage rights.

Emi and I fought the rain and cold weather to join a small group of fellow protestors at the American Embassy on University Avenue yesterday. We enjoyed being a part of the event especially because we could not protest while still living in the US for fear Emi might get arrested, detained and deported.

As I joked today at brunch my activist spirit is so wound up I am ready to protest an ant being killed on Yonge street. (Kidding)

Friday, November 07, 2008

Mormons sent $19 million to win Prop 8- Fight back and sign a petition revoking their tax exempt status

Sign this petition to support the legal effort to amend our tax laws such that the Mormon Church would lose its tax-exempt status if they continue lobbying in this way. We intend to share this list with the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and other official legal organizations that will be pressing forward with this effort. Anyone can sign this petition.

I read Americablog every day...for years now ...and Iove what John Aravosis said today.

I'm watching THE VIEW, and Joy Behar was talking about how last night McCain "finally came back to who he was." I.e., he's been kind of an ass for the past several months, and finally started to find his honor again. The token Republican countered with the following:

"I think it's hard because campaigns... really bring out the ugly in everyone on both sides. It's when you see them in their pure moments, Barack's speech last night, and John McCain's speech lsat night, that you see these moments of hope that they really have given us."

Horse shit.

After eight years of having Republicans call me an un-American troop-hating fag-loving socialist, after months of John McCain embracing the hate to a level where his own supporters were calling out for Barack Obama to be assassinated, no one is going to be permitted to tell me with a straight face that "oh you know, both sides do it."

Your side was abominable. Your side was hateful. Your side race-baited. Your side gay-baited. Your side lied like we've never seen in recent presidential campaign history. Your side used a tax-cheat who would do better under Obama's tax proposal to be your everyman on the issue of taxes. Your side, in a veiled effort at race-baiting, said Obama doesn't put his country first. Your side had the audacity to call Obama a socialist. Your side suggested he was a Muslim. Your side suggested he was a terrorist. Your side suggested he was Osama bin Laden.

Spare me the crap about how both sides do it. You people are a disgrace, you've been a disgrace for eight long years, and all your hate and lying and venom and vitriol finally bit you in your collective fat ass.

Democrats don't do nasty, and they certainly don't do it well. Lord knows I wish they did, but they don't. Republicans elevate it to a religion. You are the party of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity. Angry, bitchy, bitter and elitist. What do we have to compare? Jesse Jackson, I often hear from my Republican friends. Um, maybe in 1980 when he was relevant. It's been 28 years, got any other examples? Michael Moore, you say? What has Michael Moore said - name one thing - that's comparable to the filth that regularly issues forth from Limbaugh, Hannity and Coulter and, of late, McCain and Palin?

Democrats, when they skewer (which isn't often enough), do it with biting truth. Republicans skewer, early and often, with vicious lies. It goes back to a more general philosophy that liberals have: If we just tell them the truth, the people will agree with us. Republicans are far less sanguine. They know that a good lie beats the truth any day of the week.

In response to being asked if I will move back to the US now that Obama won.

We also stayed up late to watch Obama's brilliant speech. Emilio cried and I got a little misty eyed at the idea of hope and change in the US. I am afraid the hope I have for the US does not include equality for our families. This morning it appears Prop 8 in California passed. If California cannot pass support for marriage equality by popular vote, then I have little hope it will happen on the national level within this generation. Canada is so far ahead of the US that I doubt they have a chance of catching up. It would be insane for me to give up full and equal rights, healthcare for the rest of my life regardless of my employment status, the ability to vote my conscience rather than the lesser of two evils and to live in a place that truly believes religion does not belong in our bedrooms, boardrooms and Government. I enjoy the fact that my family is not used as political cannon fodder in Canada. It is actually against the law here to even speak violence against us based on our sexual orientation. The US cannot even pass ENDA to stop us from being fired from our jobs or hate crime laws against murdering us. Obtaining US immigration rights to sponsor Emilio is going to be a hate-filled, gut wrenching battle. The center/right in the US is not going to allow a break through for our rights on the national level and 30,000 bi-national couples in the US just do not have enough influence to get it done. Overturning all of those state constitutional amendments not only banning marriage but any right for our families is going to take decades and frankly I am not willing to spend the next half of my life as a second class citizen when I have first class status here.

I am happy the United States is moving forward and ending the far right reign of incompetence, but I am cynical the progress of the country will actually include equality for the GLBT population.

Our friend Lisa sent me these sad facts this morning about the election.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Hacked!

Speaking of hacks, I mailed my US ballot in a few weeks ago. I was far more excited about voting against the biggest evangelical scumbag hack I know in Congress. My former Congressman Ernie Scott Garrett. Some of you who have read my archives know I wrote letters against him in my local papers when we lived in New Jersey. I am happy to report a blind rabbi named Dennis Schulman is neck and neck in the race to unseat the monster. I was more than happy to vote against Garrett who voted in favor of dog fighting, against aid to Katrina victims, is against choice even in the case of rape and incest and believes the US should be run by his narrow and vicious version of Christianity.

I admit Obama won me over and got my vote. I decided to cling to the hope he and the Democrats will actually do something for our families and for the tired state of my former country because hope is all we can count on when it comes to them. Their lack of action in the past is still an unhealed wound.

I have to say something though. Despite the hell the US put us through, despite the financial burden of fighting in the US all those years, despite leaving my friends and family... I must admit moving to Canada was one of the best decisions of my life. Although I didn't realize it as we went through it I am now so glad we were forced to leave and come to this great county. Last night we had a halloween party and I commented to a friend, "I didn't even know these people a year ago". It's amazing the good that change can bring into your life.