Saturday, January 26, 2013

Chapter 15

"Though we all have the seeds of fear within us, we must learn not to water those seeds and instead nourish our positive qualities- those of compassion, understanding, and loving-kindness." Thich Nhat Hanh

So here we are. You're freaking out. You can't do this. You must have been crazy. Why did you think this was possible? Why don't you just save everyone the trouble and just sit back down? This is just too much, too fast, too soon.

Sound familiar? Probably. And what do the well-meaning people in your life tell you? "Just don't think about it." "Relax." "You'll be fine, just keep going." And then you punch those people because they have no idea what it's like to be so scared of failing.

Here's how it goes with me:

Body: Yeah! We're ROCKING this!
Brain: I can't do this.
Body: Oh, I can't? Huh. That sucks. I guess I'll stop and walk.
Brain: See? I told you so.
Body: You were right. I'm just not strong enough.

Luckily for me, a few minutes (or even seconds) later, a different voice speaks up.

Awesome: What are you doing?
Body: Me? Walking. I can't do this.
Awesome: Seriously?? You've done so much more than this.
Body: I know. But this is too hard.
Awesome: Is that what you're going to tell everyone? It was just too hard? You gave up?
Body: Um, that's embarrassing.
Awesome: No kidding. How cool will it be to finish this?
Body: It would be incredible. Especially because I don't think I can.
Awesome: Let's just try. See what happens. Deal?
Body: I hope you know what you're doing!
Awesome: Me? I DO! I'm AWESOME!!!

Even if you don't have that Awesome voice in your head- you can pretend it's there. Just imagine after your Brain tells you that you can't, AWESOME steps in. Try to imagine what that voice would say. You don't have to believe it at first, just listen to what it might want to tell you. And then, if it feels right, you can follow its orders. Because seriously, You're Awesome.