25 April 2011 4:50 PM

A ceremonial look at the seating plan for THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY (apparently you have to scream it when you say it) reveals that England’s stand-in captain Mike Tindall will not be in whispering distance of his former coach Sir Clive Woodward while Katie and Wills say their bit at the Abbey. The seating plan doesn’t favour a catch-up but maybe the World Cup winners will collide over crumpets at the Palace.

Twickenham’s prodigal father is soon to return to TW1 as elite performance director and it could serve up an awkward greeting with his former centre. ‘How you been, Fridge?’ ‘Fine, thanks boss. Couple of dead legs but looking forward to New Zealand. You taking the job then?’

Woodward is a methodical, serial winner and his involvement in England rugby in any capacity – even if he’s making the teas or, more likely in these times, mixing the protein shakes – must be welcomed with open, flag-wavingly jingoistic arms. But it does make life a little awkward for his former players.

Woodward didn’t feel Martin Johnson was ready for the England coaching job in 2008 and said so. Loudly. In print. He’s like that, Woodward, honest and abrupt. Only over the past three years, Johnson has ridden the storm and, with the backing of a lot of hard work and a dabble of talent, his team are finally looking like a work in progress, rather than making it look like a lot of hard work.

The schoolboy who was top of the class is now taking the lessons and probably doesn’t want his headmaster back in charge of the chalkboard.

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Sebastian Chabal’s autobiography comes out this week and though Scrum’s the word has not been sent a preview copy (surely some oversight of the publisher’s) word on the rue is that it’s quite tasty in content. France’s favourite face, aka the Caveman, has a massive dig at French referees, as well as the occasional pop at the media and former coaches Philippe Saint-Andre and Marc Lievrement – although to lump those two together is like comparing Sir Alex Ferguson and Mr Blobby as football managers.

After revealing what rugby was like in the amateur era while dinosaurs roamed the earth, Chabal also has rosbif with those who criticise him for complaining about privacy while so readily cashing in on lucrative endorsements. It’s a difficult argument to make but I’m happy to hear it.

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Rugby and alcohol were always meant to be. It is an inevitability in a world of testosterone, pumping-iron and fronting-up. But never before has the world been so aware of such misbehaviour on and off the field. There are a number of reasons for this and no quick fix.

New media and social media make round-the-clock reporting, well, round the clock. If you fight with a gang of QPR fans in a pub in Shepherd’s Bush someone will have tweeted it before you’re in A&E. Reporters are under pressure to file news at any hour and armies of media messengers follow teams around the world, not 10 tired hacks in a chartered bus. Players are professional and paid handsomely for it. They might not be on football salaries just yet, but they get enough perks to feel pretty good about themselves after six Sambuca shots in Infernos, and they often behave accordingly.

Boys will be boys but boys don’t have to behave like idiots. Don’t bad mouth team-mates in a club, throw petulant punches against defenceless opponents, or start fights after curfew. There’s been too much gouging and glugging this season, let’s get back to the rugby.

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19 April 2011 11:53 AM

He doesn’t really look like Lewis Moody without the trademark bruises and battle scars. It’s like meeting Popeye without the muscles. Moody the model should be in Paris advertising L’Oreal rather than Combe Down rugby club promoting the Black Stuff.

The man himself, of course, would prefer black eyes to rosy cheeks. The England captain missed the entirety of his side’s victorious Six Nations campaign thanks to a recurring knee injury – just one failing body part in a long list that has been catching up with the Bath flanker recently. The Mad Dog routine was never going to favour longevity.

Even with his knee finally on the mend, today has seen him sit out of ‘long-day Tuesday’ – the club’s infamous day of double training – with his feet up. In some ways this is comforting news. Even men as tough as Moody suffer from the occasional bout of man flu.

‘It should have been double sessions but for me it was a day on the sofa. It's been a frustrating 11 weeks but the knee’s coming on. I pushed myself so hard to be back for the France game. I came back, played one game for Bath and re-tore the medial ligament. I just broke down after 20 minutes so it was always going to take a little time to recover from those two setbacks.

Bath face Wasps on Saturday at Twickenham in the annual St George’s Day extravaganza, and a return to HQ would be very welcome for Moody. Only he his done sitting in the stands, a mere spectator so distant from the turf and the trenches.

His last experience of cushioned seats isn’t one he will ever remember with much fondness. It was a certain St Patrick’s Day game in Dublin. ‘I was sat there with Tins (Mike Tindall) who was still feeling the pain of his injury. We were both sat there – two captains unable to help. And that's what it feels like, like you're letting your mates down because you're there to help them out.

‘We were just sat there in the stands getting very animated. I was absolutely chuffed for the lads for the manner in which they played in the tournament up to that point. But on that day I wanted to be on the pitch, to be involved, to help out.’

Moody has already helped this side far more than he would ever take the credit for. His team-mates always cite the bite of Mad Dog in the week between Perth and Sydney in the summer of 2009 as a key inspiration behind the great turnaround in England's fortunes. He bats down any personal praise but jumps on the significance of the second Test victory.

'That win in Sydney is by no means irrelevant,' he says. 'That victory was a springboard for us as a team. We were in a very difficult situation and we got out of it. Then we improved game on game in the autumn and the Six Nations showed our frustrations over the defeat against South Africa. The strength of this England side is that we learn from our mistakes. Every time we have those setbacks we come back stronger. We will again.'

Moody himself knows a certain James Haskell deputised at openside with much gusto during the Championship, and new boy blindside Tom Wood relished his baptism of fire, too. Suddenly the team have a strength in depth that means even the captain is fighting for selection. 'If there are changes people just fit in and get on with their game. It doesn't make a difference because people know their roles.'

'You've always got to be confident that you can regain your place because you understand the job. I'm well aware there always have been players pushing for my place. My most important task is to get back playing for Bath.'

Modest, unfazed and determined to lead his team out in New Zealand. The home of rugby is as good a place as any for captain Mad Dog to start.

Bath players Lewis Moody and Shontayne Hape trained at Combe Down RFC as part of GUINNESS Club Together. To win a training session for your club and the chance to play on the hallowed turf at Twickenham go to www.guinness-clubtogether.com

The usual Daily Mail rules apply. The closing date for entries is April 20.

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13 April 2011 6:50 PM

If the rugby gig doesn't work out James Gaskell could always join the foreign office. As the youngest captain in the Aviva Premiership, it is no surprise he has been carefully trained in media management but his line in diplomacy this week would have impressed Alastair Campbell.

On the morning after the night before, during which Sale wing Mark Cueto was handed an astonishingly lenient nine-week ban for an apparent gouge (a ban cut heavily thanks to the staunch defence of the victim and former team-mate), Gaskell knows the questions that are coming.

'Q1 I haven't seen Mark. Q2 I haven't spoken to him. Q3 I don't know the ins and outs. Q4 It's a big shock to the squad but I hope he comes back stronger and fitter and better for the World Cup. Q5 I've not seen any footage of it.'

After persuading Gaskell the incident is still available on youtube (and suggesting he watch it a good few hours after breakfast unless his digestive capability is as good as his line-out), we move on to subjects that the articulate 20-year-old can really talk about.

Sale can finally breathe a little easier. Although the club won't be breaking into Europe for at least another season, they have at last left behind Newcastle and Leeds in a two-horse relegation race, already made a number of big-name signings for next season and just recorded their first try bonus point in two and a half years.

Personally for him, the season has been mixed. Tipped for breaking into the senior England set-up, badly timed injuries have scuppered his plans, not to mention his choice of playing position. You would imagine his versatility as a lock or a flanker would double his chances of selection, as it turns out he has managed to pick the two most competitive positions in England.

'I really enjoyed last season before I got an injury late on and missed all the England Under 20 stuff over the summer,’ he explains. ‘I thought that was my injuries over and done with and at the start of this season I was anticipating getting stuck in straight away again, but I've just been so frustrated.

'All I can do is play my best rugby in our last three games and try to break into the Saxons squad this summer. Then build on that. I still feel like I will have achieved something this year, just obviously not what I would have liked.

'If you look at positions like flanker and second row and look at the top four or five players in the country – there is a lot of talent there. They are all playing at the level I want to be. It's good to watch them, analyse their strengths and weaknesses, so you can target their weaknesses and learn from their strengths.’

While every football fan north of Chalk Farm will be migrating south for the weekend — a quirk of the FA Cup semi-final double header taking place at Wembley and a Premier League schedule that means Liverpool, Bolton, Stoke and the two Manchesters all play in the capital within 24 hours (train travel should be fun) — Sale have taken this weekend’s match against London Irish to the heart of Bolton.

They are aiming to sell at least 25,000 tickets at the Reebok Stadium and advertise a third sport outside of football and rugby league in the area. Gaskell insists Sale will play a running, entertaining game of rugby and the morning’s sprint session with Darren Campbell is a start.

Gaskell’s become known for his wing-like bursts. He can break tackles more effortlessly than his lightweight figure might suggest. To call Olympic Gold medal winner Campbell pacey is an obvious understatement, but he is used to a starting block rather than carrying a ball. I bet Gaskell's better at sprinting than Campbell is at scrummaging.

‘It’s weird how dramatic a difference Darren's made,’ says Gaskell. ‘In 20 minutes he has managed to pick out all our running weaknesses and make us faster for it! He picked apart our technique. It's strange how the tiniest thing, a slight change of balance, can make a significant difference to your speed. It's all about getting your arms working.'

Gaskell just needs to get the rest of his body working – and keep it working – so he can set off on a trademark sprint in an England shirt.

Premiership Rugby sponsor Aviva, who have also been supporting British athletes since 1999, arranged for Darren Campbell to give Sale Sharks a speed training session ahead of this weekend’s Big Game against London Irish. For more information go to: avivapremiershiprugby.com or aviva.co.uk/athletics

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11 April 2011 10:18 AM

There is so much ignorance and arrogance surrounding the great North-South club rugby debate that any attempted dialogue can be as painful as an arm wrestle with Tuilagi (any Tuilagi). Whatever your opinion, it is likely you are interminably smug over the superiority of your favoured league.

A vintage weekend of rugby emphasised the contrast between the styles played either side of the equator (assuming lucky readers have access to a satellite dish). Saturday morning began with Crusaders v Bulls which, for those who don't follow Super Rugby in much detail, is half the New Zealand team (although Carter and McCaw sat out) against half the Springbok team, with a couple of very talented understudies thrown in for good measure.

It was a typical Super Rugby affair and served as a perfect point of comparison for this complex experiment; to see what exactly the difference is between club rugby at either pole.

For once Heineken Cup conditions matched those of the Super variety, instantly scuppering one experimental problem. It is often argued the hard grounds and fair weather of the SANZAR nations bring about the free style of Super Rugby, so here we had a fair experiment, the balmy conditions across Europe (Biarritz excepted) were positively Australian, ensuring the experiment was fair, balanced and, no doubt, ground-breaking.

THE OFFLOAD

The attacking weapon of choice this season. Since Sonny Bill Williams graced the Twickenham turf as an All Black in November, the offload has been deemed an essential attacking threat all over the world. It is wonderfully potent in piercing a defensive line, but can be over-used. SBW's influence has obviously rubbed off on his Crusader team-mates — and the rest of the Super Rugby fraternity. Every player from 1-15 attempts an offload whenever they hit contact whether necessary or not and the upper body strength that comes with a Polynesian physique certainly helps. But it is employed so often it actually becomes predictable. The Bulls defence finally wised up and defenders 'over-ran' the tackle area in anticipation of the offload to intercept the ball. While the offload is a tool used quite effectively in European competition, it is an essential component to the tempo of the game down south.

THE TACKLE

Huge contrast here. It is an easy accusation to make but the tackling down South is pedestrian at times. Often runners 'take the tackle' as soon as there is contact with an opponent instead of fighting for every last inch, like most ball carriers in Europe. The defensive effort sometimes looks like a warm-up match, played at 90 per cent. There are far fewer slow-motion monster hits that Sky Sports loves and that were so prevalent all weekend in the Heineken Cup. It is all part of the make-up of the game. The tackling is generally low and round the legs, which lends itself to the offload, and when there is body contact the player stops fighting and hits the deck, with an emphasis on recycling the ball instantly rather than driving for another yard.

THE BREAKDOWN

Almost unrecognisable. In Super Rugby, a player is tackled and if he can't offload, he hits the deck, one or two forwards lean over the ball (or kill it / bridge illegally) and the scrum-half can get his hands on it straightaway to unleash the next attack. It is 'sevens' like and fantastically fast but also slightly farcical. If turnovers happen (which they do) they are instant in the tackle, or a result of the first 'rucker' ripping the ball free immediately, rather than longer counter rucks. If the Crusaders came across Leinster on Saturday I wonder if they would have retained any possession at all.

THE SET PIECE

Although still a platform for decent ball, it is closer to being perceived as a way to get the game going again rather than a weapon with which to destroy or pressure your opponents into submission. Northampton, for example, had dynamism outside but it was their tight five which sucked the air out of Ulster's lungs. The scrums aren't rugby league-like in Super Rugby but they also don't seem to be targeted as an effective way to beat and beat up the other team.