Vinyl Jokes

People under 30’s never owned a vinyl record. They don’t know what’s like.

They don’t know what’s like.

They don’t know what’s like.

Apparently the world's fastest vinyl turntable has been built.

It's a record breaker

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do Nazis love Vinyls?

Cause you can turn the tables from 45 to 33.

Although it's expensive, I've started collecting records.

That's my decision, and it's vinyl.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

I've got it on vinyl.

That’s it; I’ve given up on buying CDs and MP3s. From now on, I will only buy records.

And that’s vinyl.

I tried to open a record/ DJ shop in Israel.

I probably shouldn’t have named it Vinyl Solution.

What do you get when you cross an 80's pop star and a cheap floor covering?

Vinyl Ritchie.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it,

A hipster already has it on Vinyl.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A manic depressive horse named John

There once was a manic depressive horse named John. He was drinking away his problems in a bar that was popular among the local animals because they didn't card. You see, ever since he was a young colt, John used music to deal with his emotions. He started off with a vinyl record of The Beatles' *Re...

What did Hitler call his records store?

The Vinyl Solution.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Double Whammy

So about a year and a half ago, I started dating a girl who loved to hear me play guitar. Her name was Alice, and probably her favorite song I played was Barracuda, and she was really into 80s music and culture. I really liked this girl and wanted to get serious, so I decided I wanted to get her som...

A man walks into a record store...

A man walks into a record store, looking confused. The owner approaches him: "Hey, you seem a little lost. Can I show you where anything is?" "Uh yes, actually.", the man replies, "I'm looking for some classical music, as I've never listened to it before." "Oh, well we have a vast var...

The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records.

It's the vinyl countdown.

A man tries to rob a record store...

... by stealing many valuable vinyls. However, a sharp-eyed-shopper caught him in the act. He shouted out, "Hey! This guy's trying to shoplift!" to the rest of the store. The thief tried to run away, but the shopper grabbed a record and threw it at the man, knocking him over. Several other shoppers ...

A girl wants to go to the concert...

She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."

Two blonde women renovating a house...

There are 2 blonde women that decide to buy and renovate a house. The 1st thing they decide is to replace the vinyl siding. So they're working away and the 1st is watching the other and notices that she takes nail out of her tool belt, looks at it, uses it to nail up the siding, takes another nail...