Well, if the answer is yes, it’s never too late to fix the warped perception society has helped mold. It’s time to break free from that mold and know how truly wonderful you are.

Here are a couple of videos that brought home the impact society in general has on women’s self-esteem. Let’s take the time to change it in our own piece of the world and be as awesome as we were meant to be.

I’ve rarely been one to eat breakfast on a normal day, in my adult life. I have a coffee and it curbs my appetite until I crave an early lunch. Here and there or on weekends I will have something that might include an egg, time permitting. Oatmeal with melting peanut butter is on my radar in the winter the odd time when I wake up hungry. If I really make the effort I may have a smoothy. But in the last few years, I’ve heard about some unusual ingredients and I get curious about how to use them.

For instance, I have use kale sauteed in with pasta and I thought it was very yummy, but I hadn’t considered it as a breakfast food. Then goji berries…. I had bought some from the bulk food store to try. They were certainly tasty but wondered how they would bake into things but again never as part of a breakfast. Chia seeds have become more main stream since their sprouting introduction as Chia Pet® in 1977. Note: the Chia Pet® sprouts should not be considered edible because of the possible lead in the clay mold, but are fun none-the-less.

Some of the benefits of these power-house ingredients for a great breakfast

Goji Berries: high in vitamin C and beta-carotene

Kale: high in fiber, vitamin K, Iron and anti-oxidants

Figs: high in calcium, iron, foliate, magnesium and potassium

Chia Seeds: high in Omega-3, soluble fiber, phosphorus and manganese

Hemp Seeds: high in essential fatty acids, Omega-6, contains the 9 essential amino acids that the body can not produce and is a complete protein

Flax: high in fiber, B vitamins, magnesium, manganese and Omega-3

Here you will find four recipes that include berry flax oatmeal, chia pudding, a kale and avocado smoothie and fig, persimmon yogurt parfait! We’re off to a good start!

What a wonderful meal! I’m sure it will freeze well too. Cooking for one or two people can be challenging. Soups are perfect for that. Also, Autumn will be here eventually and soup is a great comfort food!

I often get funny looks when I suggest this at my weight management groups and my cancer nutrition classes. No one quite rolls their eyes, but I do feel a collective will not to laugh; a suppression of an exasperated “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

I eat tomatoes like candy. At least at this time of year when tomatoes are at their delectable and nutritious peak. And I suggest that others give it a go, too.

There are many reasons why someone would sleep with someone’s spouse or partner. In reality, the onus falls on the person that has made a commitment to another. If someone stripped down naked and said ‘do me’, you always have the choice to say ‘thanks, but no thanks.’

Patricia is single, 40-something, divorced. She has slept with married men and has no problem with that. She is an average women.

She doesn’t want to steal your husband. She doesn’t want a relationship. But she does want sex. She feels an attraction to him and lets him know by flirting and throwing out suggestive comments in casual conversation. If he looks interested, she will escalate the sexual conversation. At any point he can shut her down and that’s fine. She says ‘Why would you want to sleep with someone that isn’t interested in the same thing? The sex, at best, will be barely mediocre.’

MTM- How do you pick the guys that you will pursue or select the one’s that pursue you?

Patricia- Most often I will meet them online. If I’m initially attracted to their profile and picture, I will contact them. Then meet them briefly to see if there is mutual attraction in person. That feeling of getting butterflies in your stomach, the excitement is wonderful. Typically I’m attracted to younger men. Many like older women because they know what they like, they are confident and there is so much less drama. Men want you to tell them how they can please you. They love knowing that they were responsible for your explosive orgasm.

MTM- What is the youngest that has been interested in having sex with you?

Patricia- I think early 20’s. But I was not interested in being a ‘teacher’. I want to be with someone that knows his way around a woman so it didn’t go anywhere. I got many requests from guys 15 -20 years younger. I think it’s a ‘thing’ with them. I find it a waste of time and effort to go that young. Plus, if there is any conversation, it would be more annoying than anything.

MTM- What is the conversation like when you first meet? How long is the meeting?

Patricia- The initial meeting is likely less than it takes to have a cup of coffee. We might talk about general interests, how we are feeling around each other, what we are thinking that we might want to do to each other in that moment. We have probably covered most of what we would like to try in texts or emails. So, we might talk about schedules or locations if the attraction is there. We will kiss. That is very important because if their kissing doesn’t do anything for you, there is no point in taking it further.

MTM- Does it bother you at all if they are already in a relationship or marriage?

Patricia- I prefer men in relationships because that reduces the possibility of me getting in a relationship. I don’t want to be tied down right now. Their life outside of ‘us’ has nothing to do with me so I don’t ask for any details. Even their name is irrelevant. I’m just looking for someone to have great sex with once or twice per week. I don’t care about his other relationships, if he has kids or what he does for a living as long as he is willing to pay for a hotel room occasionally. But a car or secluded place is fine too. I won’t bring them to my place for privacy reasons.

MTM- Are you concerned about STD’s or pregnancy?

Patricia- Condoms are a must. I’m not on the pill anymore so I do worry about the condom breaking. It’s happened and it did cause some stress for a time until I found that everything was fine. I will have checks for STD’s several times a year just in case something slips through or sooner if I think something is ‘off’ with my body. It’s important to know yourself and what is normal for you.

MTM- Aren’t you worried that you might fall in love with someone that you can’t have?

Patricia- I’m realistic about that. It’s possible I guess, but I curb the feelings and thoughts that may bring me to that place. I’m not interested in being in a relationship. In the future, when I’m ready again, my dating choices will be different. Also, I’m not naive enough to even consider that a married man will leave his wife for someone he met to have sex with. The criteria for each can be so different.

The impression I got through our discussion was that she is in it for herself. She is selfish. She feels that your relationship isn’t her problem and you have to agree. It’s your problem. She is confident and knows what she wants out of meeting your husband. The initial emails and texts discuss the hope of physical attraction, what they are interested in doing, butterflies, and where to meet. She is exploring her sexuality and that’s her only goal. She doesn’t care how many kids he has or his miserable relationship with this wife. She doesn’t care what he does or even what his name is, to be blunt. If she meets him for coffee she will know within minutes if they will have sex, if there is mutual attraction. It really doesn’t matter where, a car, a beach, a motel… You can use your imagination, which is good, because you can be that woman (or man) to your partner. Arrange a meeting with your partner and discuss mainly sex topics. “Have you tried this?” “Would you like to try that?” “Are you open to this?” Trust and a non-judgmental environment is critical. Alcohol does not need to be involved, but one drink might help relax you. More can diminish your experience.

The interview with Patricia is based on a conversation I had with a woman I met a few years ago and was shocked by it at the time. The shock has now subsided. She is now in a monogamous relationship with a single man. Life continues to evolve.
photo credit: gail m tang via photopincc

There is a lot of information on the web about GMO’s, Round-up Ready crops and the fact that Unilever and Monsanto (among others) spend a whole lot of money to prevent you from knowing what food contains them.

If we are informed and have money to spend on food, UNITED, we have a lot of power as consumers. Personally, I want to know what is in my food and I expect that if a crop has been doused in a chemical, I want to know about it. I don’t care how much money these companies might loose. I don’t care how many people working there may loose their jobs. They have a responsibility to us. To life itself.

It used to be that we trusted companies that created food products. Why would anyone put anything in a food product that would not be good for our bodies? Now we realize that we were naive. It’s about making money, of course, not keeping the population healthy. The people working for these companies have a responsibility, to all people. They need to take the blinders off. Our government officials need to put their population first and stop the love-fest with these companies because of their financial contributions including ‘creating jobs’.

Some companies are starting to (quietly) remove GMO’s from their food products before they are required to add it to the label. Do they see the writing on the wall? Yes, I think they know what is coming and that is a backlash of informed consumers reminding them that we are not like the cattle in their factory farms.

I just found out today that the long awaited trip to Europe is a go for my teen. Eighteen days away in a country were she understands very little of the language. [sigh] Flashes of the news about #MH17 go through my mind. I’m trying to keep from throwing up. This is something I have to deal with without her knowledge. I’m terrified right now but I don’t want to let her know. She is so happy to go and she is going with her grandmother. It will be a really special trip for both of them. I know this. Logically, it all makes sense. Sounds wonderful.

It’s just that I’m finding it hard to be excited right now. The “what if’s” are driving me insane. The crazy traffic. The crazy boys. Swimming in the sea. The flight at 30,000 ft and over a big ocean. [breathe] And this is coming from someone who loves to travel! Jeeze! I won’t see her for a few days so I have time to collect myself. I will have to work hard on that.

[focus on the positives]

The cultural immersion. Her grandmother taking such pleasure in showing her off to family and friends. The time they will spend together exchanging ideas and stories. The independence she will gain traveling back on her own. She will have grown so much in that time. It’s happened every time she has gone away. Even when it was just for three days. It is hard for parents to let them go when these moments in time come along and this certainly isn’t the first one. We had a similar experience when she was almost four and wanted to go down the bunny hill on her own. She fought me when I said “No.” knowing full well she couldn’t stop. She freaked out to be let loose. I, frustrated and angry, said “Fine, go ahead.” Well, she didn’t slow down. She hit a bench to stop at the bottom and tears ensued. I felt like I was a terrible mother, that I had made a mistake. But the following week we went out again and she had learned something. She had learned to stop.

This time is similar.

[I will keep telling myself that]

I look forward to seeing her a little more grown up when she gets back. [breathe….]

Do you have any coping mechanisms to help with letting your kids go? Please leave a comment I can use all the help I can get right now. Lol.

This has been a pet peeve of mine from the time I realized that I wasn’t happy in my relationship. I asked myself “Why would people stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling?” I, granted, stayed in mine well past the ‘best before date’. My, very valid, excuse was that I wanted to give us an opportunity to fix things. This had to happen over a matter of time. Like two years…. I guessed. Not much changed over the two years. Well, my perspective on it changed.

My mom, even today, was talking about her ‘uneducated’ friend that has children in their 40’s that are still with their spouses. Apparently, she taught them well. The silent comments that I heard in my head was “Why couldn’t you keep it together?” “Where did I fail as a mother?” Blah, blah, blah.

She and my father have been together for over 45 yrs. They wear it like a badge of honour. In my personal opinion, it’s a horrible marriage. No respect for each other. Yelling, Arguing. Swearing. But this is their dance. They know the music. They know the dance steps. I never wanted anything like that and I never had that. By all accounts my hubby was a really nice guy. Very respectful. An awesome dad. A gentleman. But he had other flaws. When you think to yourself “If I have to do this for another 20 years, I’m going to slit my wrists.” you know you should probably move on. Of course, I would never do that. So instead, I moved on. Now comes the process of recreating my life. It’s exciting, scary, exhausting, lonely at times but the right thing for me. This part is hard but giving birth taught me that we are tougher than we could ever imagine. The future will be amazing and I can’t wait for this second part of my life! (I’m having a déjà vu.)

Now back to trying to understand the couples that stay in a miserable or benign marriage and don’t try to make it better. They just plod through each day. Same old, same old. I would bet a huge percentage will be visiting Ashley Madison or Plenty of Fish. Those sites are bursting at the seams with ‘nice people’ that you would never imagine would go outside of their relationships. (mixed in with some strange people too) Their friends and family could not, in a million years, believe that they did. So, do you think that it’s ok to do that if it is discrete and your marriage stays intact? Everyone continues to see you as a wonderful, happy couple. After all, separations are emotional, expensive, exhausting, hard for everyone… a lot of work. And then, who knows who you will end up with? So many unknowns. It’s scary. But is living a lie realistic for the long haul? It’s a decision each person has to make on their own considering their goals, priorities and values.

BTW, I interviewed some of these people (men and women) and they were all very sad and hurting individuals, when it came right down to it. Going to those sites was a desperate measure they would have preferred not to have to take. #notcondoningit

Also, I purposely did not link to those sites as I don’t want you going there through my blog. If you want to go there, it won’t be because I made it easier for you. 🙂