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Monday, March 4, 2013

Whenever I hear that phrase, especially
when it's directed at me, I either feel a swell of happiness or shame.
Someone sees me in a new light. Oh shit.

Then there are those times I think it/say it about someone
else. “Well, I certainly didn't expect that from you.” In my own
mind, they've done something unexpected, something that didn't quite
fit with my image of them. This happens to us regularly, in small or
large ways. A sign that someone didn't have the perfect life you
thought they did. Your partner cheats on you. It varies, you know?

Sometimes our masks hide and protect us
from being open and vulnerable with others, so they experience us in
a limited, controlled way. But whether someone
is authentic and vulnerable in a moment with you, or not, are you
seeing them as a whole human being, or your assumption of their
being?

When I was a young teenager, I
occasionally was told I was a snob, or stuck up; once even by an
adult. Not that I SEEMED like one to them. That I WAS one. In
reality? I was shy. Sensitive, and shy. I loved people, even if I
felt overwhelmed by them sometimes. So those words cut deep.

We are wielding a huge weapon when we
make “You are” statements. They build people up, or they can cut
us down if we let them. Unless scientists figure out ways to climb inside the mind
and soul of another person, chances are we don't know the whole
story.

The responsibility falls on both
parties. If I paint the picture of what I want people to see of me,
then they're probably just going to see what I allow them to unless
they're really paying attention. You can often fool the world, but
it's much harder to keep fooling ourselves.

We offer ourselves to others like a
puzzle. Sometimes offering a mostly complete picture with a few
pieces missing, or slowly handing out piece after individual piece,
or other times deliberately handing out a few pieces upside down and
withholding others There is nothing inherently better or worse about
any of these methods, but are we aware of what we choose to hide of
ourselves? And why?

On the other side, can we be mindful of
where our judgments of others come from? “You're not who I thought
you were” is not a statement of their character, it's a statement
of mine. They didn't change. My assumptions just suddenly weren't
valid anymore. What I really mean is: “I now see more of your
being, and I experience you differently because of it.” For better
or for worse. And that is the sacred dance of human interaction.
Gradually, we expose ourselves to the world whether we intend to or
not, meeting each other face to face as mirrors. How I choose to see
you reflects what I am willing and not willing to see and appreciate
about you, and even myself.

The more we accept all aspects of who
WE are, the more vulnerable we can be with others and the more we can
accept all aspects of others. It's not going to be perfect. Honestly,
I don't think it's meant to be perfect. Otherwise it wouldn't be a
dance. But those of us who come to our yoga mats, or engage any other
self-reflective practice, are craving some deeper connection. With
ourselves, with others, with Whatever.

When we DO offer someone a piece of our
true puzzle, it is out of trust. What will you do with those pieces?

What is Twisting Open, Sinking In?

Often in yoga we are told that what we practice on the mat translates to our everyday life. Yet there are so many sensations and ideas that come up (and sometimes hit us on the head with a two-by-four), that we may not get the chance to really reflect and talk about how these experiences and changes manifest themselves in our lives. Just as we deepen our twists to open our hearts and sink deeper into the pose, Twisting Open, Sinking In aims to explore the experiences of the important practice we call Everyday Life.