Thursday, 10 August 2017

THE HITMAN AND HER...

Bloke goes into the pub one night, looking glum. After a while, the barman says "What's up, mate? You look really miserable." The bloke looks at the barman and says "Ach, it's the wife. She's been playing away from home - I wish she was dead!" Barman thinks he's joking and laughs, then notices that the bloke isn't laughing with him. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this," he says, "but the guy sitting over in the corner - his name's Artie - is a hitman. If you're really serious about the wife, have a word with him." "Thanks," says the bloke, "I'll do that right now."

So the bloke strolls over to Artie and says "Your name Artie?" "Yup," says Artie. Bloke says "You a hitman?" "Yup," says Artie. Bloke says "How much would you take to kill the wife?" Artie thinks for a moment, then replies "£1." Well, the bloke is astounded, but it turns out that Artie is a hitman more for the love of it than the money, so the deal is struck. Artie then proceeds to discreetly follow the bloke's wife for the next couple of weeks to get an idea of her routine, and to determine the best moment to strike. He notes that she does her shopping in her local Tesco every Wednesday morning when the place is usually deserted, so he decides to top her on the very next Wednesday.

On the day, Artie strolls into Tesco and casually throttles the bloke's wife. As he's making his way to the door, however, he sees another customer that he hadn't previously noticed, so he throttles her as well. Then he thinks "Better do the till assistant, just in case she remembers my face," so he throttles her too. As he's strolling up the road, a passing policeman, seeing three dead bodies through the shop window, and having noticed that Artie has just left the premises, gives chase. Artie legs it, but is nabbed.

STUDIO 77

About the artist:

From 1985 to 2000 A.D. (little joke there), I contributed to a variety of high profile comics and magazines for various companies.

For IPC/FLEETWAY/EGMONT, I freelanced as a lettering and logo artiston various weekly comics and monthly magazines, and also as a resize comic artistandspot illustratoron pocket books, summer specials and annuals.

ForMARVEL U.K., BLACK LIBRARY, REDAN and USBORNE BOOKS, I again freelanced as a lettering artist, also working as arestoration artistfor MARVEL U.S., restoring and re-creating certain pages of JACK KIRBY art for their MARVEL MASTERWORKS editions.

I also lettered the MARVELMAN sample pages submitted to MARVEL U.S. when they were considering acquiring the character, which - as we all now know - they DID.

Supplied comic strips, cartoons and illustrated advertisements for local business campaigns and newspaper publication on a professional basis since the age of 16. Did my first paid art job for publication at 14 or 15 for Lanarkshire Education Board.

Image Enlargement:

In a few instances some images are featured at full size (or larger) to begin with, so clicking is redundant.

Copyright Notice:

Images remain the property of their respective copyright owners and are used here only for the purpose of review, promotion, and nostalgia.

********************************************

In the case of images culled from my own collection where copyright of an item isn't mine, I impose no copying restrictions on fellow bloggers.

(Although, if you don't allow copying on your own site, then you really shouldn't be copying from others, should you?)

And while you can credit this blog if you like, it's not mandatory. Who has time to make notes of every casually visited site during an idle browse of the internet?

In the case of anyone copying images of my own artwork and calligraphy, I affirm my right to be identified as the creator, and any such copying should not be for the purpose of monetary or material gain. (Unless it's mine.)

******************************************

Please also note that this blog is not sponsored by, affiliated with, or connected to, any organisation, business, or group, and is wholly independent.

Disclaimer:

Please note that the opinions expressed on this site by myself should not be presumed to be shared or endorsed by any members unless they so specify. And that works both ways.