Now this is a holiday I can make love to (with my mouth of course). I love me some hot, delicious, buttery, flip-floppy pancakes. So scrumptious. So good for you. Perhaps the world's most perfect food. The second best thing you can do with butter and syrup. The first is, of course, bathe in it.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Can't write because I'm on a sugar crash. Donuts and baked goods. So I am going to just randomly babble....

- I've been meaning to explain this for some time but haven't had the time/energy. The wife is out of the fitness competition. Her training partner threw in the towel because she is planning a wedding, in a wedding, starting a new job and celebrated a Steelers Super Bowl. She didn't have the time. The wife didn't want to do it alone. I don't blame her. Our cupboards are once again full.

- The deathmatch runs until Sunday. As of this posting I was ahead by 1%. If you voted for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you didn't have a chance there is still time. Go here. Win or lose it's been a great experience. It proved to me that I am not as bad at fiction as I thought, I just need time and a million rewrites.

- Gadjunk.com is coming along nicely. I hope I can stick with it. I am also taking toy donations. A friend is sending me a box of old Pez Dispensers.

- Work is going well but I've been given the task of revitalizing some pretty dismal blogs. I am still doing shopping & gift but I also have the Shore guide (which I think won't be bad once in season) and the awful Custom Rides and Investing and Insurance guides. There are several things in life that I know nothing about. I know even less about cars and investing. This could end up being a train wreck. Should be a hoot.

- Then we have this blog. I just don't know what to do. It's just there. I don't have the time to post as much as I'd like and I feel like just calling it quits. Then I think about all the cool people I've met doing it and the funny stories I've been able to share and I don't know where they would all fit in my daily writing. I just don't know.

Well, always leave on a high note.

High.

Click here to touch Illuminati's Twitter. Click here to get Illuminati in your inbox every day. Both sound very naughty.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Taking the cat to the vet causes more anxiety than going to the doctor.

Getting him in the cage. Listening to him wail for the twenty minute car ride. Watching as he hyperventilates and claws at the door with a 'why the hell are you doing this to me?' face.

It kills me because he doesn't understand. I can't explain. It isn't for lack of trying. I talk to him. I tell him it's almost over. We are almost there. I'll give you some treats when we get home.

The wife told me if I sing to him in a high pitched voice he calms down. Bull. Shit.

The vet visit is the same routine.

Oh, what a cutie.Stephen? What an interesting name.I love the pink carrier.

To which I reply:

Yes he is.Wife named him.She bought it.

A quick exam, a thermometer up the crack, couple of shots and the cat and I (pink case and all) are back in the car and headed home. Just another twenty minute crying session and the morning goes off without much of a hitch.

I smell a hitch. Actually I smell something. Probably not a hitch.

I looked down to make sure I didn't step in anything on the walk to the car. Clean.

He is panting. He is hyperventilating. He is rolling around in his own shit.

This means that the trauma of the vet is the least terrible experience of the morning. Probably much worse than the car ride, thermometer up the ass, two shots, or embarrassment of a pink carrier case. Now it's bath time.

This is the kind of experience that changes a normally mild mannered animal into an incredibly irritable beast.