Thanks for always replying hazel and barkingdog! It is very frustrating to see her uncomfortable and not know exactly what is wrong. I am also worried about her nasal cancer and just want her to be as happy as possible.

I think she may also have some spay incontinence. I boosted her up on the bed and she felt a little wet so possible urine is causing some of the irritation as well. Now that I am preparing meals they don't get flax seed which is a source of phytoestrogen. I was actually avoiding flax because I was thinking allergy but maybe should add something like soy milk or lignans from flax seed again. But yes, I think cleaning the area regularly is helping a lot. Just a difficult thing to do on a dog. I have some aloe wipes that I can try as well and she loves plain yogurt. Does cranberry help tighten sphincter muscles I wonder or maybe that is just for bladder health. Can't wait until I have all these female issues