After getting used to the online crowd of gays, I started to look for someone special that I can love and love me back for who I was deep inside since I wasn't exactly the best looking dude back then. Even though I was fat, my standards for a boyfriend aren't very low. Come on, I was not going to date another fat or ugly guy just because I was fat, okay? Yes, I was that unrealistic back then. Lol.

I was still anonymous back then with the nickname Yaoi^. That was the nickname I used back then and it meant 'gay' in Japanese. I was anonymous because, most of the chatters that were regular in the chatroom all have self pictures which they trade and I, unfortunately didn't have one nor the balls to actually take one and display it proudly. Well, I'll attribute it to my fatness for my lack of self esteem.

However, due to my not so bad communication skills, I was able to get acquainted with a few nice gay friends and one of them was really cute. His name was Seamus. Seamus was 2 years younger than I was back then. This happened when I have completed my first year in UTP and was having my semester break. Seamus was a cutie in my eyes back then. He had a pair of seductive eyes in the pictures he sent me and I was instantly seduced by his photos. No, I didn't jerk off looking at his photos (though I admit I might have done something much more imagining him in my mind back then).

He was a typical kid. Lots of emotional problems with family, school and hated the world. Childish if you ask me to summarize it now but back then I was very willing to listen to his 'problems' and give him some opinions and suggestions on how to handle them which most of the time he didn't bother following. But I was happy to be there and care for him back then. Our relationship got closer as time passed by. He gave me his house phone number and I started calling him to talk every late night after my parents were asleep. We talked about a lot of things but never on sex (cause I was a chicken).

I started to fall for him not long after that in which I told him and asked if I'd have a chance to be his boyfriend. He told me that we were too far apart as of then (I was in UTP, some ulu place in Perak, he was in KL). He asked me to leave it to fate if we're meant to be together. However, he promised that he'll consider me as his boyfriend as he was single at that time. I was happy when he told me that. That was the first time I was being considered to be a boyfriend!! Woohoo!!

I started calling him deary names such as "Dear, Darling, Baby" which probably could freeze Hell over if Satan heard me said those names. And he was kind enough to let me call him such names. I was really happy... till one day.

Seamus called me and asked if he could meet up with me in KL cause his parents were going out of town. He wanted me to travel to KL and meet him over the weekend so we can go dating before he confirm our relationship. He suggested that I could stay over at his house during the weekend trip. When I heard about this, I was overjoyed!! Finally, I get to meet Seamus, the boy that I was infatuated with. ^_^

But there was one point that we never brought up in the relationship we had so far before. He had never ever asked for my display picture nor asked how I looked like. I brought this topic up to him and informed him that I wasn't the best looking guy in the world. In fact, I fell into the range of fugly guys (I'm very honest and harsh even to myself). He didn't really buy my story at first but he was cautious. He asked if I could let him see a picture of myself. I didn't have any digital copy of my pictures back then which I told him. He just replied that it was okay, he'll get to see how I look when the following weekend. I couldn't bear to keep it hidden from him nor surprised him that I was a hideous monster thus I went to all the trouble to scan my photo in a cybercafe and sent it to him.

*Online Chat*Seamus : Oh my God!! You're fat!!

Me : Yea.. I told you I wasn't the best looking guy around.

Seamus : Ugly is one thing... but fat.. Eeeeee..

Me : ........... Does this means you don't want to meet me anymore? Should I cancel my trip to your place this weekend?

Seamus : No la. It's okay. You can still come. We can hangout.

Me : Are you sure...? If you don't want to see me anymore cause I'm fat and ugly, you can just said so. I can take it.

Seamus : I'm sure. Hey, I gotta go now. Talk to you the next time I'm online yea?

And he went off.

The very next day, he got online and I happened to be online everyday back then cause during semester breaks, there was little to do at home.

Seamus : Hi Yaoi.

Me : Hi Seamus baby!

Seamus : Erm.. If I tell you something, please don't get upset, can?

Me : Okay.. (I got a hunch that he's calling off my trip to visit him in KL)

Seamus : My godbro is taking me to Cameron Highlands this weekend for his birthday. He forced me to follow him for the trip. So..

Me : I cannot go visit you at KL this weekend..

Seamus : Yea... I'm really really sorry. But my godbro forces me to go along. He treated me so nice all this while. I couldn't refuse him. I'm sorry Yaoi. I promise you can visit me in KL next time, okay?

Me : Sure.

I went offline after that. I cried my heart out. I knew this was going to happen but I still couldn't swallow it in that easy. I was sad despite the fact I know the world is very realistic. I was disappointed not by him.. but by myself. Despite the fact I know how realistic the world is, I didn't do anything to improve myself. I was really devastated by this incident.

To find out more, check out my old blog which I am surprised it's still here. Lol.

If you're to lazy to read my crappy blog back then, after he came back from Cameron, he ignored me totally be it online chat or phone calls. He didn't reply a single message I sent him since and as much as I would like to believe that he was indeed forced to comply with his godbro's request to go Cameron, I'm very sure the ignoring part is definitely due to his discovery of how I looked.

His rejection got my gears on to do the most important thing in my life as a faggot. To improve my outlook. I lost 40kgs in 6 months time after this incident. I will share with you what I did and my journey in a first person's point of view, rather than a 3rd person's point of view which you can get from my backdated blog post.

In case you still haven't notice, there's a big party going on this coming Saturday for Nuffnangers. It's the Nuffnang Music Bash 2009 Powered by Maxis Broadband!!!! Here are 2 takes into this event. From a blogger's point of view, this is going to be fun, fun, fun and much more fun than a chee cheong fun.

Let's see... A Nokia XpressMusic 5800, 2 iPod Touch, a Canon Digital Ixus 870 IS, GSC Gold Class and regular tickets, Topshop Vouchers, Armani Exchange belts, Peak Polarized Len Sunglasses and many many more goodies are up for grabs that night. That's not good enough for you? Dinner is taken care of, 3 barrels of beer and Nuffnang staffs and Nuffnang bloggers providing entertainment for attendees!! A party by bloggers for bloggers!!!

From a second point of view... I'm the organizer for this party which means... work, work, work and more work than a buffalo's day if you ask me. I've been going through places, sorting out the agenda, getting the music on the track for the nite and hell lots more of stuffs that makes my eyebag so apparent, I feel like cutting it out. But I believe my hard work will pay off when I see bloggers attending it this Saturday. :) Let's keep my fingers crossed.

How would I look if I'm a celebrity?

Actually, I had a limelight fame once, when I participated in a reality TV show 2 years ago called Starceleb. Nothing fancy, but the experience was good enough. I was chosen to be in the Top60 and had a studio photo taken.

It wasn't the best photo I ever had taken in a studio. If you ask me, I'd say this photo below is much better.

Then, I was brought to live audiences in shopping malls, mainly at The Curve, One Utama, Timesquare to be filmed for national TV. I was dead nervous but it was an experience I couldn't forget. Going on TV obviously requires one to style their hair properly and not to mention essential make-ups.

I personally doesn't like make-ups but I think it's essential to cover up imperfections (such as my growing eyebags... during special occasions where camera flashes a lot).

That was me in One Utama 2 years ago on the stage. I think I looked thinner back then. Damn! But I think they overdid my hair back then. It looked like you can burst a balloon with my hair.

One of the stops required us to be in street style for 2 days. The first day I went as Goth.

God damn make ups made me look like I don't have a certain gender as though as I was an android capable of being both male and female. Fuck it. Lol.

On the second day, I went as hip hop street style and thank God, I look much better than the Goth Robb.

There are actually a lot of pictures to share but I'll spare you the rest and share the best. After the roadshows, I was chosen to be in the Top24 of Starceleb, and thus, another studio shoot was arranged. This time, I turned out much better but unfortunately they did not release any single copy of pictures to us. :(

Luckily, one of my friends, Kel took one that was pretty good and sent it to all of us when we were having a break.

He kinda made it look like an album cover which was quite cool. Yes, the one on the most left was Daren (some of my readers might know who I'm talking about). I think he'd most likely kill me for showing a picture of him back then. Lol.

I didn't qualify for the next stage and my dream of being a celebrity died after that. Lol. Pretty sad, ain't it? But worry not as this Saturday is going to be a day where every blogger can be a celebrity!!

I'm continuing my story without pictures of cute guys as many of you who read my story commented that it'd be easier without the eye candies distracting you. But if you'd like to see the eye candies' presence again in my blog, do voice out and comment as currently there isn't any. Thus, it'd remain this way till someone ask for it.

Okay, I cannot stand not putting any eye candies in such a long post. Here's one. Only one, okay?

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Being almost sure that I was gay, I started to find if there are others who are like me, gay. Before some straight people from Ipoh starts making a joke on this and pointing to the lane behind Ocean (belakang Ocean), let me stress that those are trannies. Of course I knew the differences between a tranny and a gay because as much as I'm open to stuff, I am still very very skeptical against trannies. Yes, they should have the rights to dress like a woman and still be a man but I should have my rights to express my skepticism towards them as well right?

A gay teenager. Where can he find other gays? Why, the Internet of course! I mean you can't possibly have such big balls when you're 15 and go around in your school asking if anyone else likes guys. I mean it's apparent if you see some of your schoolmates are sissies, but I'm not a sissy and I don't want to befriend a sissy! Yes, I know. A fat gay guy discriminating trannies and sissies aren't the best scenario in the world, but that was what happened back then. Lol.

The Internet is a vast world. Other than pornography, one can also find ways to contact each other. Gay portals existed way back then, the notorious Fridae.com and our neighbor's Sgboy.com is among the portals that I came across. However, both of them didn't appeal to me much as the geographical distance most of the users were in it was way too far for a studying teenager to even bother to try using it.

For me, I was introduced to mIRC since my family had its first computer. The sales team of the shop that we purchased a PC from even sent over a staff to teach us ignorant brats how to use the computer and the Internet, emails, mIRC chatting and many more. As I'm the kid who uses the computer the most due to gaming and online chatting, I explored certain features of mIRC, found out that chatrooms with a lot of people in them are usually... catered for sex. Take #klsex for example.

But one particular info took me by surprised. There was and still is a channel named #gaymalaysia (DALNet) and this channel has among the highest number of chatters in it among all the other channels in DALNet. That caught my attention and I hopped into the channel trying to find out more about others who are like me.

The channel took me by surprise. Most of them were busy seeking and advertising for themselves. Common lines found in the main channel;

23 176 55 6" cock serdang. Anyone wanna have fun tonight? PM me.

Kepong tonight?

I'm a slave looking for a master. Can anyone adopt me? I'm willing to do whatever you ask me to do.

Yes. I'm not kidding you. These lines are real. Lol.

I tried chatting decently there, but everyone in there was so focused on seeking sex which I had no idea why back then. I was tired of the way people chat in that channel as I was more interesting in getting to know people than jumping into sex at the age of 15. But I kept going back there trying to know more people who are more decent and eventually I found out from other chatters that there were other smaller gay chatrooms with are more decent (#chineseplu) or specific to your location such as #g-ipoh or #gaypenang .

These smaller channels are less busy than #gaymalaysia. No intensive sex seeking, but there still was, privately. #Chineseplu was the best channel back then due to the fact that the ops there banned sex seeking in public and in private (reported by user). So I got to know more about what other gays do, and their lives and I was happy to know a lot of net friends. Some of them were nice enough to even send over pictures of themselves (decent pic, mind you) for me to have a look. Back then, I had no webcam, no digital camera, no scanner thus I had nothing to send over back to others. This was also one of the reasons many other chatters ignore me due to the fact I had no self pic. How realistic the world is, huh? Lol. It's pretty much the same these days if I think.

Nevertheless, I managed to know a few close net gay friends. But it took me 2 years for me (17 years old) to gather enough courage to actually meet up with another gay who was from Ipoh. Guess what? The guy I was meeting was actually younger than me by 2 years. He was 15 and he was already in the circle hanging out with other gays. That kinda made me looked like a loser which I would admit, I was. Lol. His name was Sonnic. Yea, the hedgehog. That's what most people tell him till this day.

He was the first gay guy I met and he was somewhat decent and I actually asked him if he wants to be my boyfriend right after our first meet up. He was kind enough to sugarcoat his words and told me that I wasn't the guy he was looking for and we never saw or talk to each other again for a very long time due to the fact that he wanted to avoid me and I was embarrassed to talk to him after the rejection.

After a coward period of 2 months, I started to gather my courage back to meet other gays. There was another guy that was... 10 years older than me I think. I was 17 which makes him 27 back then. He didn't show me his picture prior to meet up and I was eager to know more people so I agreed. He came to my neighborhood and picked me up. He had a typical uncle look which if you ask me to judge today, he'd have probably looked like he was 35 back then. His name was Kent. I was afraid. Damn freaking afraid, going into a car with another gay guy. But lucky me, I was still fat. If he tried to do anything to me sexually, I was pretty sure I could resist thanks to my body size. But to think of it again, unless he was a chub chaser, most(not all) gays would rather cut their dicks than doing anything with another fat guy.

He brought me to Bougainvillea Building and treated me High Tea. We chatted over to know each other better and luckily, he sent me home, unharmed. I think he wasn't interested if you ask me. I'm very sure if I was better looking like what I am now, he'd have attempted a lot of things. Lol.

This experience wasn't that nice to me because;

The guy was an uncle

He wasn't cute/good looking

I learned nothing practical about being gay. Lol XD

Some time later, I got to know another kid. Probably 2 years younger than me (again!). We met up and I treated him lunch. He was actually in the same school as I was, SMI. His name was Kei Hoa. Despite the fact that he wasn't fat nor total fugly, I was not interested in him at all. Well, if someone ain't fat nor ugly, the reason why I'd say no - sissy. So after that lunch, we bid farewell, and just chat occasionally online.

I was quite eager to find a boyfriend back then due to the fact, I wanted to be loved and love another. The other reason - was to have sex. Lol. Sad to break the bubble to my dear readers, I didn't achieve this till a later part of my life, when I entered UTP.

This part, will be saved for the next post which I'll be sharing the incident that made me determined to lose 40kg in weight and changed how I look. After that, I'll be talking about Billy once again, my first time on bed and many more juicy bits for you to read.

Yes, I know that I was once fat. But did you know that I made fun of myself for being fat when I was fat as well? Bad habits never change. I still make fun of fat people, but that's not me today.

Secondly, I tease people with poor command of English. I mean, it's acceptable that you make grammatical error once in awhile and typo here and there. But if you're using a Word Processor with spell check available and you still make such mistakes.. you're a fucking retard.

My head is facesing my monitor now. The monitor is on my stady table. The fesility in my flat ain't that good actually.

Don't get me wrong, I don't earn RM6k a month. If I do, everybody would be applying to work in Nuffnang for such excellent pay. It was from my little savings and of course, my cheque from Nuffnang ads came early this month as well thus allowing me to spend extravagantly.

Now let's see where the money went to.

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Last Friday was Zach's birthday. Guess what I got him? Here's a picture.

Some of you who reads his blog might have already known what I got him for his birthday. A Nintendo DS Lite.

See. He is so happy with the present. In fact, ever since I got him the DS, he has never stop playing it for a day till now. ^_^

A Nintendo DS Lite's main feature is its Dual Screen (DS). That allows much more information to be displayed for the gamer.

Another great feature of a DS that I like is.. Touch Screen!!!

If you've been reading my blog for some time, you'd probably know that I like devices that have touch screens. My phones, LG Viewty, Nokia 5800, (soon to purchase iPhone?) all are touch screen based and I simply adore this feature. I'm glad that Zach is starting to enjoy a touchscreen device as well! :D

I'm a sucker at getting jealous, especially if something is fun to do or have. Seeing Zach playing the wonderful touch screen games on DS made me jealous. I foresaw that when Zach gets his present, I might hijack it and play it myself and making Zach unhappy.

That's why... I actually bought TWO Nintendo DS Lite.

One of it cost RM615. Two makes it RM1,230. Now you know where the main part of my money went. Lol.

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His birthday celebration was done in a very comfy manner. Zach enjoys a lot of food and red wine. So, we went Jogoya for dinner last Friday with a small group of friends (all fags, 1 of them is quite young and cute but he has pimples on his face but when he was semi drunk, I fooled him into the toilet and french kissed him). All of us were drinking happily that night and Zach was drunk for the first time in his life due to the fact he has very high tolerance with alcohol. It took him 12 glasses of red wine for him to get drunk while I was getting high on my fifth. Lol.

I had to stop drinking wine to ensure that I'd be able to take care of him and bring him home safely. :P

The bill for both of us came to about RM120.

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Let's see.. if you've not known me well on my choice for dining, I'm really willing to spend money for good food. In fact, most of my colleagues do, especially Boss Tim. An average lunch with the Nuffies cost at least RM10 and sometimes it reaches RM20 too. Lol.

Among our common lunch hangouts are Klang Bak Kut Teh (yes, my colleagues drive all the way from KL to Klang just to have lunch), Shanghai 10 at KLCC, Johnny's at Times Square, Pavilion Food Court and many more.

The entire last week's expenses for food, travel and minor entertainment (DoTA) expenses tallied up to about RM150.

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RM1230 + RM120 + RM150 = RM1,500.

Fuck lor. I gotta learn how to spend more wisely especially in this economy climate.

I'm writing this post without insertion of distracting pictures. I wonder how many of you will read the entire thing?

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Sorry that I'm not blogging about how I found other gays but sidetracked to watching pornography today. But, I think pornography is something that every individual will have to come across 1 day or another. While most of us are probably sick of porn by now, there might be some sad minors who haven't seen any porn before, so do go ahead and embrace it for education purposes.

After all, it did educate everyone in the rest of the world how reproduction works.

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Another very sound reason why I'm so certain I'm gay is because of pornography.

It's not a secret that most of us have watched pornography before. You're surfing the net and you've never? Okay, I believe you cause I'm a virgin actually. :)

At any rate, back to my story. I think I started watching porn when I was.. 13 I guess? It was straight porn as I had no idea where to get gay porn at that time anyway. Lol. But guess what piqued my curiosity to watch porn? Anyone remember Species, the movie? Where a girl is infected with alien genes or something and goes on killing people whenever she have sex with them?

My dad used to be a movie junky. He purchased all kinds of movies, back then in video cassettes and including some which are not suitable for minors to watch such as Species or other shows that have short sex scenes in them. I mean come on, most Hollywood movies these days do have short sex scenes in them. But the thing that got me interested the most was, my parents always pause and asked us to get out of the room when a short sex scene was about to happen. In any ordinary movie, the sex scene usually ain't that important, but in Species, that's the most important part cause that's when she kills!!

Once the sex scene is over, my parents would pause the show and asked us to come in again but I'd have felt that I missed a lot cause I didn't know what happened!! Thus, I got the nerves to actually uncover the movies that I got cut halfway when my parents and sisters are out of the house and watch it myself. And to my surprise, I saw things I've never saw in my entire life back then.

Having sex with a girl kills a man!!! Lol!! That's in Species 1 by the way.

I knew it wasn't true cause there were other scenes from other movies I saw that didn't end with the girl killing the guy after sex. But the thing about these sex scenes was, whenever I was watching the scene, my eyes weren't fixated on the girl but instead on the physical features of the guy (since most films are not 5 star porno, they don't show dicks or pussies directly). I didn't care much about it back.

Things took a more progressive step in sex education for myself when I found out deep inside my dad's wardrobe, there's a hidden stash of video cassettes. I was able to speculate what kind of videos would he keep hidden in a wardrobe when I was 13 so I happily put the cassettes into the player and feast my eyes with it.

Bingo. It was 5 star pornos with storyline!! Lol! Seriously, why do people make a 5 star porno with storyline? Porno should just be about fucking and no god damn storyline please! Oh, the casts would have to be very presentable as well. I mean, it's freaking unfair for a beautiful girl to star in a porno but the male casts are all ugly fat fucks.

At any rate, the porno I was watching had a lot of sex in it despite the cheesy storyline it had. The girls were alright, the male casts were alright, but the thing that caught my attention the most was not boobies, not pussies but dicks. Lol. I guess that certainly assured me now that I was more interested with guys than girls but back then I didn't knew yet.

But the thing with straight porn is, the camera only focuses on the boobs and the pussies and not the dicks. I mean, it's reasonable when I judge it now cause, the main target audience for straight porns are usually men. But back then, I had no idea about that and I was damn pissed that I can't see good looking guys in porno and their dick shots. Lol.

Thus, I went for a mission to look for straight porn with good looking men in it. Boy, was that mission difficult! Despite the fact I was merely 13 years old fat fuck on this grand mission, some VCD sellers do sell me pornography!! I remember choosing and buying my very first 5 star pornography VCD in Yik Foong Complex in Ipoh. They gave me a bundle of VCD in a black plastic bag and ask me to choose from there so the VCD covers are not visible to public.

Most straight porn covers usually features the chicks, sadly. But somehow I managed to get one that had a cute Blond Guy with some Blond Girl on the cover. That porno was good, I think? Can't remember much, but the blond guy had a nice body and face, that's all I remembered. Lol. After watching that porno a few times on my own, I finally realized that I enjoyed looking at other guys and as far as I've tried, I cannot find any gay porno anywhere and I'm too shy to ask for it to the sellers.

Thus, I resort to what most of us do today. I use the Internet. *grins*

I was like a kid at a candy store. Lol. With so many images around for me to ogle and drool, I learned a lot about the human anatomy, reproduction acts, acts that are meant for reproduction but does not reproduce (lol), ways to gain pleasure and etc. And by surfing porn sites in your family computer, you obviously need to cover your tracks well. Deleting history, clearing cache, temporary internet files and etc. Back then, we were using IE, the sucky default browser from Windows.

One faithful day, one of the gay porn sites I visited was bugged and I did not realize it. It had somehow entered my computer system, set my default homepage for IE to the stupid gay site. I noticed this at the end of my porn seeking session, thus I changed it back to our default homepage, which was back then, Yahoo. Cleared off all my history, files, cache and etc and shut down my computer.

My elder sister, who was in a hostile scenario with me back then, was the next person who used the computer. And to her horror when she used IE for browsing, the gay site showed. She knew the person who used the computer before her was me and seeing that we were hostile with each other, it didn't need much thinking for her to quickly alert my dad about the gay porn site there. That damn bugged website was so powerful, it can automatically reset your homepage to the gay site whenever you restart your computer! WTF!!

I was afraid. Very afraid. I did something I was very ashamed on that day. I lied and framed my elder sister.

When my dad got to know about the porn site being the homepage thanks to my sister yelling her way there (everyone in my family have loud voices, actually), I quickly went and defended myself. I was the one back then who was most literate with computers. I told my dad, that my sister was setting me up, because she hates me due to our hostility that was taking place.

My made up justifications to my dad were;1) I'm not gay. If I'm to view porn, I'd view straight porn. My sister would be seen in a very bad light trying to say I'm gay cause we were having a fight.

2) My sister set me up. There isn't any past history of me viewing the site. If I'm to watch porn online, there will be a lot of pages in records. Since I've deleted history and other files, there weren't any except the homepage that just loaded. It's a very bad justification seriously, since they can bang on the fact asking about other website's browsing history, but thank God, they didn't.

After hearing my points, my dad didn't know who to trust but he did not punish me. For that I think he actually bought my cock and bull story. Thus, if you ask me today, I'm very sorry to have lied to my dad and framed my elder sister. Sorry dad and sis, I was doing what I could to save my ass (literal and non literally).

After that, we used different browser other than IE to browse sites due to the fact the homepage of IE is still the gay site. And seeing that it's other browsers, I can even manipulate it better to save my ass when I view porn sites. If any case like my IE happen, I'd just uninstall the browser and reinstall it and voila, problem solved.

Till today, I still think Internet porn is the best. Free and satisfying. Lol. But of course, you must know where to look. I'm not sharing any links though. Lol.

So tell me peeps, how old did you all start watching porn? Do the poll on my sidebar please. :)

One of the many tasks required from my job in Nuffnang are managing bloggers and events. And when it is required, I'd even attend a certain event from our client. This is apparent when last week, I attended the MSN on DiGi launch with 34 other bloggers at Friendster Cafe.

Before I delve into the event I attended, let's go for the main product that we're talking about. MSN on DiGi network? The instance you hear this, you'd say it's a good service, but how much am I gonna get charged if I use it. I'm not here to hard sell, but I'm merely putting across that they're having promotions for up to 2 months, thus it's free for 2 months till May. After that, it's RM3 a month to use this service and you get unlimited messaging on MSN.

Yes, RM3 a month. No catch for DiGi users.

Here's a flyer for more information. Click on it to enlarge.

There were lots of food and beer served the evening to all of us. Even before the main course started, they served us refreshments such as spring rolls, samosa and fried fish.

One of the main features of MSN is no doubt the emoticons. They are cute and stand out in nature. DiGi wasted no time to stress how important emoticons are in their services and ensured we had plenty of emoticons to play around that night. After dinner, we were presented a brief introduction about the service which we explored around.

Then we had games and lots of games to give out wonderful prizes. Guess what's the main prizes for the night? Song PSPs!!

But, these PSPs weren't given out that night due to a special reason. They will only be given to the most creative bloggers who blogged about the evening. Thus, if you do google around, I'm very sure you'll find quite a number of blogs talking about it. :D

One of the games that we played for smaller prizes (such as original Ray Ben sunglasses) was to act like an emoticon. Here's what I did.

I thanked God that my facial expression isn't the clearest here, cause I know I'd look very ugly in bright lights with that facial expression. Lol.

Above is Curryegg going oO with a tongue sticking out.

And Andrew going ;)

Here's the official TVC that I bet you've seen if you're a TV addict. If you don't watch TV much, I highly recommend you to click play below and laugh your heart out as it's very quirky. ;)

It's almost a week since the special event by DiGi. Many of the bloggers who have already blogged about it are anxious whether their posts would win them a Sony PSP. Which lucky 3 bloggers will claim the PSPs? Well, you'd just have to be a little more patient on this. :D

I can't win a Sony PSP cause... Geez, if I'm eligible to win prizes, I bet a lot of people would call for a disqualification of my entry due to my position in Nuffnang. Lol.

But all in all, when it comes to this new service launched by DiGi, I'm very happy to say they've came up with a service that the mass would appreciate and use at a very affordable price.

Go puke in the toilet if you want after seeing my face. I know it's horrible

Thank you DiGi!!

P.S. Pictures taken from various blogs since I have access to each and everyone of it. Muahahahaha!

P.P.S. First picture is Zach behind the emoticon. Wish him Happy Birthday!! It's his birthday!! 20th of March!!! He's very close to unclehood already!!! Lol.

I will do things if I'm challenged or dared. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm hot headed or stupid. It merely means I do not mind going the extra mile to prove something as long as the fruits of my labor is worth the deal.

However, how worthy is deal depends a lot on the person who views it. Take for instance, would you eat 5 spoonfuls of wasabi for RM100? I would gladly do it while some might just say, they'll pass. Of course, in my case, if you wanna give me a dare I will not accept, that would be simple. I will definitely not nail any pussy if you're to pay me any amount less than 1k. Lol. If you do offer 1k, I can consider it. Lol.

Actually there isn't an absolute yes and no in life if you ask me. Everything has a a price, be it in gold (currency) or benefits not measurable with gold such as your life, your family, sense of compassion etc etc.

I actually posses a very loud voice in nature. It's just that I do not see any circumstances I would need to use my loud voice. But, that doesn't mean I'm not capable of projecting it.

Take for example when I saw the sketch that UIP did for the Watchmen Premiere. They had protesters yelling the other superheroes to get out of the city. I gladly joined them and yelled at them as loud as I could to them.

"Get Out of our city!!"

And people were amazed on how serious I was in yelling at them. Lol.

Another instance was when I did my SunBurst shout out video at Bukit Bintang. Click here for the video.

I was actually very surprised that the Goldman didn't get freaked out when I shouted that loud. He calmly posed after I finished shouting. I felt indebted to him for my video, thus I went ahead and gave him some small donations for his act. He was grateful and posed more pictures with me in the end.

There were a few pictures that we took with Goldman putting on his gold hat on me. But, I look horrendous with a Gold Hat on, so I'm gonna spare you the hideous pictures and show you the Tin Man instead.

The Tin man is a very patient man and appears much more constantly than the Goldman. He's always around Bukit Bintang area sitting and doing nothing. And by nothing it really means he's like a midget mannequin! You can go to him and shout at him he won't do a thing. You can go next to him to take a picture with high flash and he won't even move. However, I'm really curious will he react if people snatches his money? He has a container that allows public to give donations to him for just sitting around. Lol.

The Goldman and the Tin Man are 2 very good examples of people who are daring and put themselves up in the public, unafraid of judgment from by passers. I wish I can be more like that and do whatever I want in the public. :)

This is me, when I was feeling slightly drowsy during Obama Magic by Roger Fisk.

The admission fee for the event was RM850. I wasn't sleeping, honestly. I was just.. a little drowsy for a moment and poof! That Suanie took my picture. Damn!

Ever wonder how would your credit card look like if you can put your face in it? Well, I blogged about it not long ago. But wouldn't it be nice if you can customize your background as well? Here's one created by the event management team of the launch. I attended the launch and we were asked to take a picture which they would then put it on a mock card.

Yes, apparently I was in Africa or something. Lol.

And here's me.. wearing a shirt that shouts out my sexuality.

Seriously, I don't wear this kind of clothes. The only reason why I wore it was because I wanna camwhore. I bought the shirt from a charity sale to help orphanages. It's way too tight for my buffalo sized body and not to mention its color is way too gay too. You'll never see me wearing such a shirt in any normal circumstances.

And here's me imitating.. a sculpture.

To be or not to be. That's the question, right?

At any rate, I apologize for not writing anything profound today, but I hope my silly pictures didn't waste too much of your time. I'll be back soon with more insightful writings.

This post is a very long post which talks about girls in different stages of my life. Not much gay stuff, but I like the cute guys' pictures so I put them here as well. :P

There are many studies carried out each year to find the connection on how women played a role in nurturing a boy's growth, be it heterosexual or homosexual. However, there isn't one solid finding that can be used as a theory yet.

Let me share my story of growing up relating to each and every women and girl presence in my life. I'll begin with my family members.

It's unfair to start without sharing my mother. My mum is a very wonderful person as she's willing to give out a lot for her family which includes me. Often patient and caring, she did a lot to keep the family warm and together.

I have 2 siblings, both sisters. An elder sister and a younger sister. I'm the only male stuck between 2 girls. I know, some of you might say their girlishness rubbed off me and thus I turned gay. But to the contrary, it's the opposite side.

My elder sister is very strong in her stands and views. Thus, she tends to be a bit difficult to communicate with especially if you're going against her views. She has a very bad temper. Lol.

My younger sister is more delicate, cute, demanding for attention and enjoys being pampered. As she has 2 elder siblings to look up to, she learned to average out the ways both my sister and I do things. My elder sister will strongly advise (always close to force) her to do things accordingly and I'll always ask her to do what she wants and if it's a mistake, she should embrace and learn from it.

After the small introduction about my female family members, let's begin. People might think that being in a Chinese family, if you're the only male child, you tend to be loved the most by your parents. It wasn't in my scenario, at least from what I felt back then. I would say my parents treated all of us equally. I was a very naughty boy to begin with. I've always been the one running around, making mistakes and getting punished by my dad (caning, and trust me, damn a lot). Back then, I thought I was being marginalized. My elder sister was very trusted by my parents, she didn't get caned much. My younger sister gets all the attention, because she was the youngest. I was squeezed in between, feeling unloved most of the time due to the fact I was punished the most. :(

It didn't help on a lot of occasions, both my sisters ganged up to bully me such as isolating me and ignoring me, telling dad what wrong have I done and etc (I'm very vengeful. Lol).

Thus my early opinions on girls wasn't the best due to the not so pretty picture painted by my sisters. Lol.

When I grew older, my mum started a job rather than being a full time housewife. It was due to the fact that she thinks the household needed more income to sustain our expenses due to the fact we were growing up and required much more money to spend. With the physical presence of mother in the house gone and my sisters' acts of ganging up on me still pretty much present, I really really felt out of place.

My dad's presence was merely the discipline master aka the person who whacks me whenever I did anything wrong. Most of the time, he keeps quiet and never communicate much with the family as it was his style to run the household. Very scary indeed.

Enough about my house.

Throughout all my schooling years, I've been in all-boys schools. St Michaels Primary and St Michaels Institution for secondary. I only got to know a few girls when I was boarding a school bus that fetches me to school each day when I was in Form 1.

Those girls weren't exactly the prettiest around. And to add to that, me being naughty as usual, had the liberty of bullying them once in awhile as well, calling them names such as fatty (even though I'm also fat! Lol), 4 eyes, bookworm and etc. I guess deep inside, I was desperate for attention, for people to recognize me or to know me.

My mischief got me into trouble as their parents went to look for mine and despite the fact I was already in secondary school, I was punished severely by my dad, physically. That was pretty embarrassing if you ask me. Thus, I loathed those girls very very much.

Form 2, when I was 14, things took a different turn. A few of my peers started talking about dating girls and who was whose girlfriend or boyfriend and got me interested. I wanted to be popular and get a girlfriend, so I actually tried being nice to girls in the bus despite their appearances. But they weren't very forgiving for what I did previously and once again, I was ignored. Thus, I remained a guy who was just listening to what others talk about their dates and their girlfriends but never found out the real deal about girls.

On other channels, tuition for example, there were opportunities for me to know girls as well. However, my nature of attending tuition was to study and for that, I tend to concentrate on the class itself which did me good in my academic performance, but got me nothing for my social skills cause when I'm not listening to the teacher, I'd just be talking with my friends instead of trying to know the girls, as I've gotta admit, I was shy to do so.

When I was in Form 4 (after Billy's incident), I was trying to be normal by trying to go after a girl. Her name was SL. She wasn't exactly a beauty either, but she was smart and has some brains. That practically meant we are able to communicate well with each other. The problem is, we've never met each other. We were online friends, but our friends' friend know us in person and that was the only link we had. Of course, she showed her pictures to me once in awhile, and I didn't bother to show mine as I know I'd lose so much brownie points from anyone whenever I show my picture back then.

We were really close friends as we chatted with each other on various topics, even on another guy chasing after her. She gave quite a lot of hints that she was fond of him, but I ignored those hints because once again, I was trying and exploring what it takes to be in a relationship with a girl. I braved myself and asked for her to be my girlfriend... on the internet. Yes, I was that pathetic. I wasn't confident of seeing her in real life nor did we have the time as my parents were pretty strict about me going out for any reason, she was busy preparing for her PMR.

I felt happy, because she accepted (right after she checked if it was only an online relationship and not a real one :( ). The relationship wasn't anything special as we were still talking the same things over the Internet except that I was calling someone 'dear' for the first time in my life. A few months later, she told me, that our online relationship has to end. Reason?

The guy she was always talking to about has made a move and asked to be her boyfriend in real life. And for that, she cannot have another internet boyfriend as she thinks it will hurt their relationship. I respected her decision and never called her any intimate names again. I was once again, saddened, but not brokenhearted as there weren't much love to begin with.

I was sad and asked if my looks was the reason why so many people are not willing to befriend me. Would I still be alone if I'm better looking? And once again, my stubborn self prevailed and told myself that

"To Hell with Good Looks! I will find someone who will love me for who I am and not what I look like!"

Since then, I've lived my live without thinking about girls anymore, till I was in my first year at UTP. For once, I yearned to be acquainted with a girl properly. I wanted to know, how it feels to love and be loved by another girl. Her name was CP. I started befriending her and talking more with her each day despite the fact that she wasn't my coursemate. I was still shy in approaching girls and thus if you ask me now what significant things I did back then to show my courtship for her.. I'd say, nobody would even noticed. I observed her schedule from my other friends who are in the same course with her. Tried to ambush her to have lunch, but sadly, most of the time she's with her classmates and being a ball-less freak back then, I didn't have the guts to actually ask her.

But we were still talking. Talking a lot to be precise. My memory isn't perfect, but as far as I remembered, I think I did managed to ask her if she would give me a chance to be her boyfriend. She was very kind in her rejection. She told me that we're better off being friends and she appreciate me being around. And to be honest, when I was rejected, I didn't felt that hurt compared Billy's push or another story I'd share in the near future regarding rejection.

After that, CP and one of my pals from UTP got together and started dating. I wasn't jealous, but I felt happy at that time because, I thought CP deserves to date someone rather than be alone cause she's really a nice girl. If you're reading this CP, don't take it anyway offensive. I really think you're a very nice girl. :)

Oh well, that sums practically all my experiences and encounters with the opposite sex that is significant enough to somehow make me realize or choose, what I want to be and who I want to be in life.

Do not ask any questions regarding the identities of the girls and any comments speculating them would be removed. Sorry if you're actually looking forward for some smut writing but today, there isn't any (unless you count the seductive pictures I put around).

I'll be continuing my experience in life on the other side after this post. Yes, the homo side. Homos I first knew in my life, encounters, etc etc. Stay tuned.

After waiting for so long, the original iPhone has finally arrived in Malaysiathanks to Maxis!!!

It's one of the most sought after gadget in the world because of its smooth touch screen function and kickass applications in it!

I mean, come on and be honest. A lot of touchscreen phones these days are made because they saw how people want to have an iPhone cause it's a touchscreen phone but since iPhone is not publically available in every country of the world yet, other phone distributors have stepped in to offer their version of touchscreen phones.

No other touchscreen phone has ever been this slim

But sadly, none have succeeded in creating a mobile phone as good as an iPhone in the overall package of data access, applications, touchscreen functions and many more in my opinion.

Did you see it? You can get an iPhone for free if you sign up for a monthly commitment of RM375 for 24 months!! Free iPhone!!

Okay, okay. I know you have concerns. I noticed that you saw there's a 2k advanced payment as well. That's totally acceptable, isn't it? You're merely paying 2k in advance which means you'll never be asked to pay your bills for another 5 months at least (ideally). And this package comes with data and call packages which are what you'll need and be using as well when you have the phone. Thus, seriously, I don't see what's wrong with getting this good deal.

I've also been informed that there are easy payment schemes are available for purchase of the iPhone with Maxis. Guess what? When you actually purchase it or sign up for a plan and pay using your credit card, payments are amortized over 12 months. Isn't that great news? :D

And the best part of the deal is, all iPhones from Maxis are 100% warranted but it can't be said it would be the same if you actually go anywhere else to buy it as pirated iPhone are everywhere to be honest. If your unit happens to be a pirated or an unwarranted one, man, I wonder how much you are going to spend to repair it if anything is to happen to it.

I'm not going to be a nag. If you don't share my sentiments that this deal from Maxis is good, it's totally okay. But I'm seriously considering taking up the offer and get invited to their launch on the 20th of March, 7pm at KL Convention Centre. :)

Actually, you can walk in and start purchasing your iPhone from Maxis on that day as well, but your iPhones will only be ready for collection on another date. I'm not afraid to let you know that I've recently just banked in my Nuffnang cheque and I'm richer in 4 digits before the decimal. So... I am seriously considering this iPhone from Maxis.

Will I purchase it? Only 1 way to find out. Look for me at KL Convention Centre on 20th March? Lol. If you wish to find out more about the iPhone from Maxis, just head to http://www.maxis.com.my/iPhone

P.S. I'm pretty sure I won't get an additional stylus for iPhone because it is so smooth with its screen, it doesn't need one. Besides, I'll only use stylus to dig my ear anyway. Lol.

I've actually experienced an experience like no other a few weeks ago.

No, I did not have sex with a girl.

I was given a golden ticket.

Remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Well, being 23 this year (fuck did I just revealed my age?), what good would a visit to a chocolate factory do to a man? Of course, I can get lots of chocolates as gifts, but they are practically impractical for me (pun intended).

However, my experience was a different one.

I was invited by GAB to visit their in house tavern a few weeks ago along with a few other bloggers. Well, that's very close to seeing the entire factory if you ask me. I was actually expecting they'll give us a tour to beer production, but it was raining and dark by the time we reached, so I guess it wasn't the most convenient time.

But hey, I'm not complaining when there's free Heineken, served extra cold!

Seriously, all the taps were free flow and there isn't any cash register at all. This must be the best place to be for men. Well, for those who enjoy beer, of course. :)

And before all the other fags out there who're cautious on diet intake blast me for drinking beer instead of chivas or whatever fancy cocktails or cocks because they contain less calories than beer, let me say this, "Real man drinks beer!"

You can be a faggot and still be a real man. No one lays down the rules that faggots are not man except if you're behaving like a sissy, then you're automatically not a real man. Lol.

The food served for the evening was great. There were pastas, meat, veggies and grilled carrots, sweet potatoes, broccoli and many more other delicacies.

Among the invited bloggers in the tavern was the Malaysian all time favorite blogger, Kenny Sia.

Wasn't the best hairdo he ever had, but he just sold off his hair for more than 50 grand, so hey, even though he looks like an egg, he's still an egg with a very big heart, alright? xD

They have quite a number of beer taps in the tavern. One of them that caught a lot of bloggers' attention was the saxophone beer tap.

And since we're talking about beer taps, we had a little contest that day and it was to try hands on, on the art of beer tapping. I mean, come on. How difficult can pulling a tap and let beer flow out of it into a glass?

Cindy went first and found out it wasn't easy, but her tapping was actually alright with about 80% beer and 20% foam.

A lot of bloggers then tried and none could even come close to Cindy's result because it was really hard. I learned it myself as I fared much worse than Cindy in tapping beer.

However, I was lucky, because I wasn't the worst in beer tapping that night. It was Kenny.

Guess how bad he fared?

99% foam, 1% beer? Naa, not that bad. But still close enough. Lol.

But it's nothing shameful because beer tapping is harder than it looks. Seriously.

After a few glasses of beer, I started bringing my balls forward to the guys around the tavern for arm wrestling. Kenny was first on my list cause I've always want to tell my grandchildren one day that I beat Kenny Sia in an arm wrestling duel. Wait, will I have grandchildren? Lol.

I won the duel, because Kenny's arms aren't well trained. He claimed that he would beat me if we did a leg wrestling which would probably look like we're scissoring each other like we're lesbian from South Park or something. Lol.

I went on to other guys and I'm sad to report, I lost to a few other bloggers, namely Shaolintiger and Desmond Kiu who are both top bloggers in Malaysia. :(

Oh well, I guess I can't win everyone the test of strength. But I'm pretty sure I'm still a very good looking blogger in the crowd. :)

Thank you GAB for the invitation.

I've really enjoyed myself very much that night.

P.S. A number of pictures are ripped from Tock. Sorry dude, I stole your pictures. :P