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Thursday, 22 January 2015

Ted Baker dress

Ted Baker dress

In Russian we say ‘каквстретишьНовыйГод,такегоипроведешь’ which means you will
spend the New Year the way you greet it. I greeted mine with my four favourite
men - Mr Chateauneuf, DeeQ, Little Dude and a newly acquired lover I’ve been
lusting after for a while - Ted Baker. In case you are wondering, his presence
was entirely in a shape of a very expensive dress I wore that night.

OK, it wasn't THAT
expensive but it was pricey enough for me to have a long discussion with my
bank account in the changing rooms, and it was painful enough for my card to
wince while I was punching in the pin code. As I walked out of the shop I
couldn't believe I had just purchased my very first Ted Baker item.

Oh yes, 2014 was great; the
year when the tables finally turned in my favour. Only two years earlier it
was a very different story. Caught up in post-divorce turmoil, I spent far too
much time in Bluewater shopping my sorrows away, maxing out a few credit cards
and getting myself into serious debt.

After that I hid myself
from debt collectors and the world in general. I was in a financial crisis,
didn’t trust anybody including myself and permanently damaged my liver by
drinking far too much. But I knew that the only person who could get me out of
the mess I ended up in was the one who got there in the first place - me.

So with the help of trusty
friends, Mr Chateauneuf and many books (the help which came in the shape of
cheering, tough love and sound advice - in that order) I slowly started
building myself up again. I stopped blaming my ex, owned up to my mistakes and
I grew a thicker skin.

What followed was many
disheartening months of job hunting. I ploughed through endless interviews, and
having had been turned down more times than I care to remember, I developed an
immunity to rejection. Until one day, when I no longer cared, I got a call and
a job offer. It was everything I ever wanted and more. I finally got my
finances under control and was able to afford life rather than a bare
existence.

Months were going by and
although I knew I could afford things, I still winced every time I completed a
purchase. The painful memories of hardship were swirling around me like a bad
hangover, clouding my mind and preventing me from seeing the real picture which
was that I was in fact doing fine.

I didn't realize how bad it
was until the Ted Baker dress. That day I walked out of the changing rooms,
found Mr Chateauneuf and showed him the dress. He said he loved it and that I
should definitely buy it. As I looked into his eyes I realized he knew, even before
I worked it out. He knew how important it was that I bought it for myself.

He was right there and it
would've been too easy for him to get his credit card out and buy it for me.
But he knew I had to do it for myself. It was between me and me. For the first
time in my life I loved the man more for not buying something for me.

That night, hours before
the New Years party, I took my time doing hair and make up, I paired up the
dress with my favorite red heels and a new clutch. I had all my lucky charms -
something new, something red and someone I loved. I felt fabulous and was ready
for the party and the New Year to arrive.

As I walked around the room
- inhaling perfumes, admiring beautiful outfits and exchanging kisses with
friends, I couldn't help but wonder, as 2015 was fast approaching and we all
were pinning our hopes onto the new happy beginnings, did we take time to consider
what we learnt from the past year? Did know what we were leaving behind?

The sands of time of 2014
were slipping away and as the clock struck midnight I shut my eyes, just for a
second, and let go of everything bad that happened that year. And when I opened
them again, I welcomed the new 2015 and everything I wished for.

Much later we left the
party and walked right into cold January air. He wrapped his arm my waist and
we strolled home. Chatting with the boys, laughing and swapping stories from the
party we walked into the New Year, new beginnings.

That night I had all my
lucky charms and everything I wished for was walking right next to me. But I
also knew exactly what I was leaving behind.