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Friday, March 29, 2013

what i felt the moment i first held my first baby, our miracle Owen, are almost indescribable

a rush of breath

a new beat to my heart

a new meaning to life

a softening of my nature

for the first time, i can truly say that i caught a glimpse into the love my Father in Heaven has for me as his child

i worried throughout my second pregnancy that i wouldn't know how or couldn't possibly love another child as much as i loved my first

how could it be possible

yet in that first moment i held sweet little Eyan, eight years ago today, i understood and felt what my Mom had repeatedly reassured me

that my capacity to love would grow and grow

i again caught a glimpse into how our Heavenly Father could love each of us

for we are each his child

and His capacity to love is endless

Eyan was just what Mike and I had prayed for
a Buddha Baby
our Baby Sunshine
he was the happiest, most content baby you ever did see
his twinkling almond shaped eyes
dimpled cheeks
rolls upon rolls
and calm nature
was instantly endearing

he and Owen have been best buds from the beginning

Eyan happily meshing into the identity and interests of his big brother

it has only been in the last year or so that his own likes and interests have emerged

having been content for so long in just doing and loving what his older brother did and loved

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

35
what can i say but wow
i remember 34 like it was just yesterday
and 30 like it was yesterday's yesterday

do i feel older
no i don't
do i feel old
no i don't
well maybe
ok a little...ish

but i probably am... in years that is
but i hope not in spirit

this past week i attended a group that i frequent regularly
there was a new member who was a darling young mom who was sitting alone
i introduced myself to her and asked if i could sit next to her
to which she smiled and agreed
we exchanged introductions for just a few moments before the meeting began
before i could pick up our conversation after the meeting ended, she began talking to a few other moms seated around us, all much younger than i
all with less laugh lines, less children, and without any grey hairs i'm sure
i picked up my stuff and left
i thought about that exchange
i know she meant no ill will of any kind
its just my own take on the scene

i came home and told mike about it
to which he replied: you are not as young as you think you are
that's exactly what i was thinking
i am older than i think
it kind of stinks sometimes to be the older established mother in a room full of younger mom's whose bodies managed to regain their former glory so quickly

this is not my first encounter with feeling like an old mom
nothing can top the day i officially felt old
almost four years ago
upon inviting a new neighbor at her doorstep to come with me to a mom's group i had joined
she proceeded to ask
'is this a group with lots of moms in their forties?'
i have to say i was taken aback by this
i later shredded the outfit i was wearing
read all the details here

but as i laugh at these encounters
i know that my spirit is young
my creativity is heightened
my desire to learn continues to thrive
my fear of doing new things has diminished
i still never pass up an opportunity to dance
my joy i am taking in my four children and their growing stages
the new part of my path i see ahead of me
the beauty i am drawn to and which surround me

today
i am young
gonna set the world on fire
i'm gonna burn brighter
than the sun**

HI!MYNAMEISJENNA

HI!MYHiNAMEISJENNALOU.

I’m a stitcher, gardener, baker, crafter, tree-hugger, entrepreneur, homemaker and a Southern Minnesotan girl who fell in love with sewing. My passion truly started when I was taught as a little girl to sew and slowly blossomed into a fulfilling full time career.

Jenna Lou Designs was started in 2006, specializing in handmade handbags and wallets. It started as a one woman show where I did everything from making my original designs, to cutting, to sewing, to constantly having an eye out for the best, most brilliant fabrics. High quality materials are just as important to me as the creativity put into each design. In 2011 after years of a growing business, I could no longer handle the workload alone so I expanded my team to a few of the most kind, gentle, supportive, and brilliant seamstresses I could find. They are fabulous and we make a pretty great team!

I greatly enjoy taking custom orders because it allows my customers to express their personalities and love the uniqueness of each order. My fabric gallery allows you to choose from hundreds of fabrics in every color imaginable to meet your individual style. You can start designing yours today by viewing the online fabric gallery.

Blessings, Jenna

i am having a lovefest over this brown leather bag with the tassel
Jenna is having her first sample sale
RIGHT NOW
head on over here to snag these and other purse, clutches, headbands, and scarves before they are gone
come see her shop here
and then read her blog here

Friday, March 15, 2013

my alarm clock mercilessly went off at 6:00 am
it doesn't care that i was up til 12:52 am
sewing
returning emails
chatting with my friend with a heart of gold about my 35 for 35 Night of sewing baby blankets and her own cause she is courageously championing
i may have squeezed in a little 'history of rap' with jimmy fallon and j t

i roll over to kneel in prayer and fall in and out of sleep
i put on my house socks and head downstairs to read my scriptures
i drift in and out whilst reading then decide that reading them aloud may be better served
little feet come downstairs and join me under my warm blanket
i let us divert from our regular routine and allow them to eat breakfast before getting dressed
and so a lot of diverging follows
until 8:15 sneaks up on us and we are racing to leave for school
i make peanut butter and jelly sandwich for one
peanut butter and honey for the other
in snowman pj pants i threw on a raincoat to try and camouflage in the drop off lane
and then race upstairs to my distraught child who still can't seem to find a pair of socks from pile of clean clothes
as i am exiting the door in my red and purple chevron socks
i am asking myself 'what am i doing'
'how do i think i could do this'
my mind was immediately filled with the thought
which i recognized as wise and divine
'you are going through a lifestyle change'
'give yourself some grace'
wow i was so grateful for those thoughts
with an immediate change of mood and big sigh of grace i hopped in my daddy's car to rush the kids to the school gate before it locks
i am going through a lifestyle change
and in part i chose this one
to help lighten the burdens of my incredibly hard working, never complaining, duty proud and bound husband
i have been asking for some time if i could help him in providing financial assistance for our family
he has dismissed this idea every time
mainly to not have to place additional burdens upon my already weighed down shoulders
but as i have thought through this, and actually through writing it down to my friend - as so much epiphanies come- that in actuality me helping to provide for our family will make my burdens lighter in that i will be able to do something to help
i have been praying for many many months about how to help him
how to help our family
where my time is best spent
what my role is
am i to take on a new role

for now i feel like i am to
i am pressing forward with my ideas and impressions and know that if this is to be my path that things will open up for me
and if not i will be warned
i know that uneasy warning feeling well as i have shared with you about having to walk away from the wheel in pursuing a past business venture
so as my life has been thrown into a rock tumbler
you know that machine that you put jewelry or gems into to rub off all the rough edges
that is how i am feeling right now
that piece of silver that is amidst a container full of stones
new rocks
the rock of new schedules
added expectations
deadlines
new collaboration partners

thrown in along with the familiar ones that i still get hammered by
time management
cleaning routines
making dinner
feeling enough of an intentional mother
a selfless wife
round and round we go
each stone rubbing into me, shaving off a rough edge here and there

i am so grateful for the flood of strength i feel this morning
for the grace and patience i am lending myself this morning
the grace that only comes through the lifting power of my Savior
this power is familiar to me
and i pray that you will come to recognize it too
but be mindful it comes with experiences that require you needing to be lifted
i have felt him carry me many times before
i can feel so now

i am once again on a new part of my path
the scenery has changed
the destination is the same
my companions remain

i am excited to soon share with you my new scenery and path
you being here today is helping me along the way