Parents: Why We’re Trading in Our Valentines

Have you ever noticed that after you become a parent, Valentine’s Day just doesn’t do it for you anymore? The flowers, the chocolate, the stuffed animals (like we don’t have enough of those around here)…Valentine’s Day just loses all of its relevance when you have kids.

The little goober goblins have invaded every aspect of our life and there just isn’t any time or willingness to make Valentine’s Day a big deal. Aside from dollar store valentine’s for the classmates, that’s as far as it goes in our house.

In fact, when you think about it, Valentine’s Day can feel like a slap in the face for parents. Like, “Hey, here’s a whole day devoted to lovers that go out for dinners and the movies and have bed-breaking sex”. Basically, it highlights all the stuff you used to do, but don’t because you have a toddler who sub-consciously thwarts your evil plans to try to be an adult with needs.

For parents, it’s a not-so-subtle reminder that date nights are few and far between. Movies are always G-rated, and sleep is a bigger priority than sex. The idea of intimacy has shifted from making out in a restaurant to binge-watching a Netflix series on the couch.

When it comes to Valentine’s Day, parents have traded it in for something better: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

Sure, Valentine’s Day has its market demographic, but us parentals would much rather be appreciated for being an awesome mom or dad than for being a great girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s simply the bigger priority in our lives right now.

We want the gawdy ties, and cartoon slippers, the toilet paper rolls with hearts stuck on them, Father’s Day cards with what looks like “I Love You” scrawled on the bottom, with a juice stain to make it extra special. We want a night out with the guys or a night in with the girls, a pedicure, a home-made meal and cheap vanilla ice cream for dessert.

While we will wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day, we probably won’t pick up a card or anything. A kiss goodbye, a slap on the ass while making dinner, a tug on the bra straps to make the boobs dance when the kids aren’t looking, that’s enough romance to make the quota at this time of year. And it’s fine, and in a great way, so wonderfully comfortable.