Hundreds of thousands of tens of French nutters turned up to Trafalgar Square yesterday afternoon to spread gay hate in the name of the Baby Jesus, who was elsewhere nibbling a humble salad.

The rally, organised by La Manif Pour Tous (unless you’re gay) to coincide with their anti-equal marriage march in Paris, was a hot mess of Jesus ‘tards, middle class French women with comedy berets, and working mums with buggies (containing screaming babies who clearly would’ve preferred to have been sat in front of the Rasta Mouse omnibus) and deeply held homophobia.

And on the pretty side were the gays and the nice straights, there to counter-protest but seeing as there’s no talking to religiouses, they took to just having a fun. And fun is a red rag to people who think Jesus wants them for a sunbeam.

The anti-gay rally, which Westminster Council saw fit to permit even though we doubt they’d allow the BNP to take over London’s glittering Trafalgar Square with placards defending their right to be racist cunts, was MC’d by a series of God-fearing lunatics who couldn’t stop talking about bumming.

Chris Sugden, Executive Secretary of Anglican Mainstream, which is indeed a contradiction in terms, said that allowing gays to get married in churches would have *cue Pearl & Dean music* ‘international implications’ and that gay men shouldn’t have equal rights because they shag too much.

Jealous, much?

‘Only one creature has been known to calm men down into faithful and stable relationships since the dawn of time,’ he said, as his wife was busy getting a tit-rub from the bloke next door. ‘A woman.’