As a intersex woman, finding or getting into a relationship is a little hard at times. There are 4 types of guys I always come across.

1. The guy that just wants to experiment and find out what he wants, but in the meantime not really taking your feelings into consideration.

2. The guy that wants you to be a secret or a down low relationship, and this guy is typically married or has a girlfriend.

3. The guy that views it as a fetish or thinks of you as a toy.

4. Last but not least, the good guy. Now this guy is out there, but sometimes you can’t see him even if he is right in front of you.

You’ve been though all the other guys so now you just believe all guys are the same. Or you have a really specific type. That is all good, but nobody is perfect and you are probably never going to find the right guy that has 100% of everything you want and need. If you do find that guy he is either pretending or hiding something.

But… if you do find the ultimate guy of your dreams, good for you girl! And like can you help a sister out here?

I think everyone goes through challenges when getting or finding that person to connect with no matter the gender, race and so on. Just at the end of the day, don’t sacrifice parts of yourself to get the guy, or try to make someone like you. Because we are all perfect as we are no matter what.

Do you ever just have those long thoughts about why and how? Well I do all the time, and I started wondering about how life is going and how it was. But it wasn’t always like this. You see, I have had a long journey from such a young age. I have experienced the good and the bad through many different eyes which not a lot of people get to do. There are 3 things I have seen that have opened my eyes in different ways.

One of them is happiness and being truly happy can be hard to find sometimes. In my case I thought I was happy in a life that I had. But that’s all I knew so I guess that’s what I thought was happiness. Let me get into more detail. I didn’t realize what the feeling of happiness was until one day an angel came and saved me. Ever since I been with this angel, aka my mom, I’ve been happy each and every day I wake up in my bed. Happiness can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some find happiness in things, like money or cars and more objects. Others find happiness in people and food or even drinks. I’m not saying that’s bad or anything. I like food—it’s so good!

But this is how I found true happiness and what’s funny is I had it all along. It was just the surroundings I was in that was shadowing the flower from the sun. Love found me in a wonderful family and mother who let my flower grow from a seed to stem and now into a bright and beautiful rose. See, all you need is right inside of you, but the surroundings may not be right. Some people travel to find happiness in themselves. Some people buy things to find happiness. In my case my family was the water to my soil and my mother was the sun to my growth. It’s been a wonderful and crazy journey but in the end the flower just needed its sun and some water to grow. But it was always there so just sometimes it takes longer to find it, but it’s always around, just hidden ready to be found…

It’s 2019 and for years I’ve been so afraid of making my story public on social media or to anyone that doesn’t know me personally. However, I’m finally at a place in my life where i love who I am and how far i have come. I’m intersex and being intersex has given me a life much more difficult but in many more ways wonderful then I thought it would. I’ve finally come to a place of peace and true happiness in myself. I’m sorry to anyone that I’ve upset from this, I wish I could have been open from the start, but no one (unless you’re intersex / trans) could truly understand what it’s like to live a day in our lives. I really hope that anyone I may have offended/ hurt finds it in their hearts to forgive me, this has been one of the hardest things to overcome personally. Anyway, it now out there, unfollow me if you wish or you can keep up with my crazy wonderful journey of being a proud intersex woman. I love you all! 💕

I wanted to go get another plant for my room, so my mom and I went to the store to get one the next day. I picked out a long and beautiful green Ivy plant. As we arrived at checkout my mom begins to pay for it. All of a sudden she pulls out her VA card and says, “This is my VA card. It’s for my prescriptions.” The cashier just gave a weird but understanding look at my mom. So as my mom finished paying (with a real credit card) the cashier says, “You know, if you fill out a form about being a VA veteran you can get a discount.” My mom stops to think and replies, “Oh, OK.” Then we head out the Magic doors that open as you arrive. Later, laughing with my mom about the awkward moment of pulling out her VA card, I start to understand what she was trying to say: Can I get a discount from me showing my VA card like I do at other stores or restaurants. So anyway, going places with my mom can be an adventure, or just really time consuming. But in the end I at least have a bag full of new stuff. So, yeah, love shopping with my mom.