Monday, December 2, 2013

Being a Better Parent: Love Unconditionally

One of the biggest lessons we learn from scripture is how showing favoritism between siblings can cause major problems. Another hard lesson that just because you are a parent doesn't mean your love for your child is unconditional. Unlike our father in Heaven we have to work on loving them unconditionally especially when that love is not returned or not easy.

This is part 5 of the Series: Being a Better Parent. Read Part 1,2,3,4.

When I was a child, my siblings will tell you that I was the favored child. I was head strong, independent and would usually choose to do what was right as far as my parents and grandparents could tell. I was the goody two shoes and was really quick to encourage my siblings on ways they could get into trouble. I loved coloring with my younger sister and I have always thought I could color better. We would both go to my mom and ask which one looks better. Mom in her great wisdom, and my irritation, would say they both look great. My brother came a long 8 years after us and needless to say after having two girls my brother was nothing like us. He was loud, needed constant entertainment and stimulation. He took apart things and would often forget how they went back together. He was a hands on kid where as my sister and I did things pretty independently.

The ability to juggle the needs, behaviors and wants of a child take time and often times more energy than a parent has. I found this to be true with my kids. When tempers are short and when we are at our worst seems to be when we find one or more of the kids into trouble, such as throwing 6 dozen worth of eggs all over the kitchen floor. At those times harsh and unkind words can slip out of our mouths such as, "Why can't you be like your sibling.".

Angry words, favoritism, comparisons and bitterness are ways that show our children that our love for them is conditional.

The bible has a few stories like this, the story of Cain and Able and Joseph and his brothers are both found in Genesis. Not only did they mess up the relationship between the parent and the child but the relationship between the siblings.