Guide lines needed!

Mother in lawNovember 11, 2001

Can anyone help us establish some good guidlines for the babysitting of our upcoming grandbaby? We very much want to be involved and help in the nurturing of this new child. I have told my son and daughter in law that I would like to offer them childcare for the first year of this childs life. We are about 5 months away now (from the birth) and I want to make sure we remain good friends as we are now. Any suggestions? Thank You..

That's so nice of you--offering to help out. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you mean, but when my daughter was born, both sets of grandparents were anxious to do their share of babysitting. No one wanted me to pay them, but I had a strict rule--free babysitting was okay if we were going out to dinner or other entertainment, but I absolutely insisted on paying when I was working (not that often, I was substituting then). One situation was a family favor, the other was something I'd have had to pay someone else to do if the GP's weren't around to help.

You do want to keep in mind that while it's certainly your place to indulge and spoil your grandchildren, you still shouldn't overrule their parents' wishes regarding routines, rules and discipline. After all, it's the parents' place to decide how they want their child raised and it can be very confusing to a child if there are different rules in different places (or with different people).

I know you already know about the most imporant thing--if you love them and want the best for them, that's going to take care of pretty much everything, isn't it.