I’ve thought a lot about how to write this. I’ve actually sat here, on this rainy Sunday in early September, and I’ve started it about fourteen different ways. So I’ve decided to just be honest. And write stream of consciousness— which is what I do— and see what comes out. What I want to do is tell you about Courage to Rise.

Our oldest left for college last fall (yep, that was about a year ago). It has taken me this long to process how such a milestone affected me, and to understand that even the departure of one child can turn a household sideways. Notice I didn’t say upside down (like the dark world in Stranger Things). That’s because I don’t think an Empty Nest is a bad thing….it’s an adjustment.

I am a woman who has started over many times and a certain joy accompanies the task of unpacking, at rediscovering a teapot, a vase, pieces of my self I temporarily forgot in the span of mere days, of choosing where these belongings should be placed within the walls of the new home where I prepare to start my life yet again. But as I begin to unpack I’m struck with realization: these aren’t my boxes.

I was deeply sad when I was supposed to be happy, which was a good description for how I had been feeling for as long as I could remember. And so a few months later, in a country where people are more likely to admit to having had liposuction than they would admit to (or even consider) having their mental health checked, I walked into a psychiatrist’s office for the very first time.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be meditating twice a day and that it would be changing my life, I would have laughed. It’s not that I didn’t believe that meditation could work, I just didn’t believe that it could work for me. Last January, I was proven wrong.

‘Should’ is an interesting concept. Where does it come from? How do we know what we should and shouldn’t do? Well (and I’m just taking a stab here!), most of us learn basic right and wrong from an early age. But the thing is, ‘should’ won’t always lead where I want to go. ‘Should’ won’t bring me happiness.

From a young age, Nate Dolan knew there was something wrong, something was off just a little, not enough to be noticed by others, but enough that he struggled with it. Now, at the age of 38, Dolan has come to manage his struggles and has discovered a way to help others like him.

Which is worse, to lose someone you love to a long term illness or to lose someone you love unexpectedly? This morning I woke up to the news that a local five year old little girl, Avery, had passed away from a tumor in her brain on Mother’s Day. I had been following this family on social media for the last several months.

I now see my life with only physical limitations. I can write in bed even if it’s a paragraph at a time. I want to succeed, but this time I will do it. No more being scared of the future. Cancer is often the hardest thing people go through. But the way I see it, feeling negative with cancer will only make you feel worse.

I’m talking about the fear that unfailingly comes up every single time we set out to do something expansive, something enriching that’s out of our comfort zone, and that likely even calls to us and inspires us. That’s where COURAGE comes in. Courage is the ability to meet our fear and to overcome it, to show up and take action, despite it.