﻿﻿﻿Wikipedia defines a Jughandle as the following (try to keep up ok?):

A jughandle is a type of ramp or slip road that changes the way traffic turns left (when driving on the right) at at-grade intersections. Instead of a standard left turn being made from the left lane, left-turning traffic uses a ramp on the right side of the road. In a standard forward jughandle or near-side jughandle, the ramp leaves before the intersection, and left-turning traffic turns left off it rather than the through road. Right turns are also made using the jughandle. In a reverse jughandle or far-side jughandle, the ramp leaves after the intersection, and left-turning traffic loops around to the right and merges with the crossroad before the intersection.

When I first moved to Jersey (God help me) and heard the term “jughandle”, I immediately thought of my old favorite comic books that I was totally addicted to as a child (who am I kidding, I still read them in the grocery line!) – Archie Comics, and his food fanatic friend Jughead.

Obviously, I was way off. Jughead has nothing to do with this ridiculous highway structure defined above.

(While searching for this pic, I read a few more comics online. HA!)

When someone first told me “you can’t make left turns in Jersey”, I said “you’re crazy!”. He wasn’t crazy. He was pretty accurate. These stupid jughandles have made my life miserable. I’m already unhappy with some of the highway signage in this state like the Turnpike local lane when you get off of the GW bridge actually leads you to the Turnpike express lane which doesn’t have any exits for several miles forcing you to overshoot your destination – yep happened to me today. Now they had to throw in a literal curve ball while you’re driving. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to cut someone off switching lanes from left to right so I can take a right exit to make a left turn.

While we’re at it, for being such a small state, Jersey has a shit load of numbered highways and county roads!!

Too many numbers!!

Friend: “So pbandchutney, how do you get to work?”

Me: “Oh I take local roads to Rt 5, to 63, to 95, to 4, to 208 to 202.”

Yes. I’m serious.

For the amount of short and long distance driving I did within Texas, I definitely did not take 6 different highways to get from Point A to Point B. And I’ve done some major long distance driving in the Lone Star State.

So to those of you who are as unfortunate as me driving day after day in this Garden State that smells like refineries, I wish you the best of luck. You need it.