This Week in the Laboratories of Democracy

Welcome back to out weekly survey of what's going on in the several states, where, as we know, the real work of governmentin' really goes on, and where the bribes are manageable, and those taking them very polite and grateful.

Citizen action, of course, is taking place all over this great land of ours, as freedom-loving cholesterol hounds are lining up to defend the right of Chick-Fil-A panjandrums to fight Jesus's great battle against Teh Gay with a hunk of processed meat in one hand and the Bible in another. The blog will have a special report from the frontlines of said battle on Monday, but we begin thusly....

Soon the line was going out the door. It was almost like a party atmosphere. Lots of families. Lots of mothers. I saw a friend and his son and I joked that the food tasted like freedom and the whole line kind of laughed. It was obvious that people were there for a reason. As we talked with people (my oldest daughter will talk to anyone and this gets us in lots of conversations), we learned that people were there for a number of reasons. Some hate government attacks on free speech or religion. Some wanted to support traditional values. Some wanted to support a fellow Christian. And, yes, I'm sure some just wanted a perfectly fried chicken sandwich. Maybe all of the above. I heard a lot — a lot — about frustration with the media. But I sat there and thought, "If only a reporter would come and sit down and talk to these people, they might get a better understanding of how people outside their newsrooms think."

I am not in my "newsroom" now and, as I understand it, these people have chosen to eat at a particular fast food restaurant to show their support for the views of someone who helps finance the "repair the gay" scam. If you believe that a chicken sandwich "tastes like freedom," I'm fairly sure I know how you think. Badly. Funny how I didn't see too many of these First Amendment fans standing up for that mosque in lower Manhattan.

Or the one in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, for that matter, which has roiled up a congressional primary in which the game of Who Wants To Be A Wingnut? has devolved, and I'm exaggerating slightly here, into a fight over whether or not you should throw a rock through the mosque's window or drive your pickup through its walls. Thanks again, John Roberts, for all that you and your buddies have done for our politics.

But a wealthy conservative donor, Nashville health care investor Andrew Miller, has weighed in on the side of Zelenik, contributing $105,100 to a new group called Citizens 4 Ethics in Government, according to the latest reports the group had submitted to the Federal Election Commission as of July 20. The group has spent nearly $188,000 on media and automated telephone calls with the goal to unseat Black. Miller is also chairman and executive director of the Tennessee Freedom Coalition, a conservative non-profit which lists as the top issue on its website: "Educate citizens on the realities of Sharia and stop the growth of Radical Islam."

Skipping over the lovely Smokies, we find ourselves in Asheville, North Carolina, where the annual Bele Chere Festival was highlighted by several public demonstrations of First Amendment rights, some through the use of Bible, and some through the use of The Nekkid.

Most prominent in their embrace of the First Amendment were the infamous street preachers who take over spots at Pritchard Park, on Pack Square and at other places around town to share their interpretation of the word of God. Amplified by large speakers or megaphones, their mostly angry voices warned fornicators, adulterers, homosexuals, murderers, drunkards and assorted other sinners that they are doomed to eternity in a fiery hell filled with "weeping and the gnashing of teeth."

State Senator James Forrester called Asheville "a cesspool of sin" in 2011 while speaking at a local church. Since then, residents have been reveling in the remark, and even selling t-shirts that celebrate the city as being "a cesspool of sin." "This year, the people of Asheville seem to be wearing that as a badge of honor," Pethtel stated. "And it's just really sad."

That's good old entrepreneurship right there — taking advantage of an opportunity. Why do you hate America?

Packing up the old canoe, we paddle up to Ohio, where the state Superintendent Of Public Instruction — which sounds like a character in one of that new-fangled paddling porn that 60-year old ladies are picking up in airports these days — has been instructed (publicly) by the state inspector general not to shill for policies in which he has a personal stake.

Debe Terhar, president of the State Board of Education of Ohio, released a statement in reaction to the investigation. "I appreciate the Inspector General's thorough report and am disturbed by its findings," Tehrar said. "State Superintendent Stan Heffner is a dedicated educator who is committed to the education reforms Ohio needs for our children, but in this matter he demonstrated a woeful lack of judgment." In a different statement, Heffner apologized for his "lack of judgment."

Yes, he failed to "judge" that what he was engaged in was one of the oldest and cheapest scams in the book. He is very lucky he didn't wind up in a courtroom where someone succeeded in being a, well, judge.

And we finish up in Wisconsin, where some documents got loose and ran all over the place, and people found out that the redistricting plan for the state legislature was approximately as fair-minded as the average Chick-Fil-A executive.

In one email, state Sen. Leah Vukmir, R-Wauwatosa, offered these thoughts about redrawing her district: "Western Wauwatosa - yes (more GOP)," "West Milwaukee - No (forgot to mention this part of current district — VERY Dem" and "Milwaukee — cop wards if needed."

Bratwurst. It tastes like... freedom!

Charles P. PierceCharles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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