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Sheldon’s Fun-day Friday

The holiday season is upon us, with Hanukah starting tomorrow night and Christmas in 18 days. Based on the decorations engulfing my hellhole home, it seems that my handlers take these events very seriously, as there are adornments at every turn. I understand that it’s a festive time of year and all, but I think these folks are taking things to the extreme.

Take, for example, today’s activity: a gingerbread house competition. Why anyone would waste food by sticking it on pieces of cardboard or other inedible configurations is beyond me, but apparently this event was a big deal, as there were accusations of cheating and secrecy and the like. Personally, I couldn’t care less, but I was at least pleased that no one decided to use me as part of their dioramas.

In any event, here were the four submissions:

As you’ll see, there was good effort all around. However, the clear winner was obviously this one:

Anyone can slap some icing and gummy candies on a boring house and have an (irrational) sense of pride, but it takes real talent to create an entire scene. In this case, it was the Canton waterfront on December 21, which, as you know, is when the world is suppose to end. The approaching tidal wave, the cracked road and local touches all show evidence of creative minds at work, and its creators should be applauded.

Now, many of you may think that it’s morbid to pick a disaster theme for this time of year, but I’m actually looking forward to the Mayans’ doomsday. Why? Because lord knows my minions are woefully unprepared for any condition that involves not eating for several days, dealing with a water environment, and otherwise having to have infinite patience. Consequently, the country. . .nay, the world, will need a leader adept at such situations, and that’s where I come in. Be ready, dear readers, as the Age Of Sheldon is only two weeks away from further expansion.