Ok so I went on my date tonight with my crush back from June. It was fun, but I'm not feeling the same butterflies I was feeling before...the last time we hung out we got drunk and made out and it was awesome...but they (they're using gender neutral pronouns now) are sober now apparently, which of course I totally support, but makes it harder to do things like just start making out. So maybe that's why. I don't know. Meanwhile I haven't heard from my other crush since Wednesday uggggggh does she just not like me anymore...

_________________"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish

I finally just facebook messaged the crush I hadn't heard from in a while and was sort of getting weird vibes from even though she seemed SO into me at first and was like, hey, just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out again, no big deal if you don't I just don't like wondering...and got this long response that was like, Hi, of course I want to hang out again, bla bla bla so busy, you know, we probably wouldn't hang out in a ROMANTIC way because I'm just soooo busy, too busy for relationships, bla bla, but you're so cute and awesome, I'll see you soon! That was paraphrased and condensed but pretty close honestly. You think I'm not going to notice it's a rejection if you put enough words in it?

_________________"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish

Yeah...I feel silly because we only went on a few dates but I think I am just so discouraged by dating lately and feeling so unlikable that it totally made me cry. I messaged this girl on OkCupid yesterday and she wrote back this morning and I feel like I don't even want to respond because I'm like YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BREAK MY HEART TOO. I hadn't really crushed on anyone this hard since my last girlfriend.

_________________"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish

As I think I've mentioned, my crush is getting quite luke warm in the crushing back factor, but is still being a really good and attentive friend luckily. Anyhow, he mentioned he thinks I should ask his best friend on a date. Apparently the friend (who also lives with him) was telling him he was sad I hadn't been around the house as much and Crush was all 'you and Tyler should go out on a date without me' and apparently Friend was all blushy. I do think he's cute and could easily crush on him too but I kind of feel like its awkward with my like for main Crush. I don't really think I am good at having multiple real crushes at the same time. Hmmmmm

i am good at having multiple real crushes BUT i think it's better to keep them more separate. like, maybe i could go on dates with two people who were good friends of each other, but roommates? nah, that seems like asking for drama. and i like my dating as drama-free as possible, even in the midst of crazy polyamorous dating webs.

Crush/person-I-am-dating told me about a free performance at this theater he's involved in tomorrow night. I'm trying to decide if I should bully someone else into coming with me or not. I HAVE 21 HOURS TO DECIDE. *flail* *flail* *flail*

I had a new crush blindside me on thursday evening and I got spend most of the day today at a write in with him. He suggested we go for a bike ride sometime and that he was going fast on his bike ride (we were both riding towards a similar destination, though he was going home and I was going to the next part of the write in) to impress me. I can't tell if he's interested but I really really hope he is and that I'll see him again cuz then I can give him his number. Eeeeeeeee. So nervous! (Zanylikethat, no guessing)

OMG I HAVE A SUPER IRRATIONAL CRUSH ON SOMEOE I SEE LIKE ONCE A WEEKnonsense rambling to follow because this is so so so outside of my usual crush behavior:ugh, I know so little about him, he's just cute and nice and shy and super nerdy and I just have this weird knee-jerk reaction of wanting to just like, I don't even know how to explain it but he was sitting next to me while we were watching this documentary and he sort of leaned forward and I had this like SUPER INTENSE urge to just like run my hand down his back, not even in a sexual way just a touchy way. I KNOW I SOUND CRAZY. I have no idea what is happening in my mind. first: I am not a touchy person (in public), even when I am actually dating someone. second: I don't really know this dude at all, and usually I have little to no attraction to people I don't know. third: again, see him like once a week maximum.

ughhh, shut up brain, I know it's cold out. but I need to stop, it's hella distracting and I'm sure I am acting like a doofus around him, shoot.

_________________Space has stared into the tiny syrup holes of our shame and it does not judge us. - Amandabear

Oh, boober. I have met a few (three, maybe?) guys that made me do that hormonal, out of control teenager thing where I just knew I had to touch them. I think sometimes you just have a chemical attraction to some people. One of them I dated for like three months, until we realized we had absolutely nothing in common except mutual attraction...

Oh, boober. I have met a few (three, maybe?) guys that made me do that hormonal, out of control teenager thing where I just knew I had to touch them. I think sometimes you just have a chemical attraction to some people. One of them I dated for like three months, until we realized we had absolutely nothing in common except mutual attraction...

ahhhhhh yeah totally, it's just been a while since I've had a reaction this strong, and it really doesn't help that we are BOTH awkward idiots. sigh sigh sigh etc.

_________________Space has stared into the tiny syrup holes of our shame and it does not judge us. - Amandabear