I’m home. We’re home.After two agonizing weeks of praying and watching baby Ryan struggle for his life, my family is back where we belong—together in beautiful Colorado.I spent the day at Denver Childrens Hospital. I ran my hand across baby Ryan’s cheek for the very first time; I stood beside his crib, delighted to see an unadulterated smile. But as the afternoon progressed, his pain increased.I held his tiny clenched fists as his brain struggled to understand the trauma that afflicts his body. I prayed peace over his tear-streaked face, over his grinding teeth. I whispered words of healing into his pale, pink ears.And then after two hours of standing beside that crib, I saw the pain break…and rest come to his tired body. I’m typing this now at my parent’s home, while my sister sleeps beside her son in a hospital room in Denver. I spent one afternoon with baby Ryan, and I already feel exhausted…my sister and brother-in-law’s strength is otherworldly.The love they have for their son is evident in the way that they cradle his still-stiff body, the way that they forsake all comfort to hold his hand through tense and painful nights.My heart breaks for my family, and yet it also glows with pride and hope. We are together, we are fighting, and we know that baby Ryan will be made whole.

Over the next several days, I will be in Colorado with my family. I miss my sweet husband and my new home in Austin, but there is nowhere else in the world that I need or want to be.

If you notice my absence, please know that my days and nights are occupied with family, prayer and sweet fellowship. I will return soon...I promise.

But before I leave you for a few days, I want to share one more recipe...a sinfully sweet Cinnamon Roll that will inspire you to forget your weekend plans in order to enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning with a pot of coffee and a group of friends.

This classic Cinnamon Roll recipe was updated with the addition of a shredded apple and a simple brown sugar crumble. The result is a pan of Cinnamon Rolls so rich, flavorful, and moist that it's almost impossible to stop at just one.

Enjoy the recipe, enjoy your weekend, and remember that life is a precious gift to be treasured and celebrated.

1. Heat the milk and butter in a small saucepan or in the microwave until the butter melts. Remove the pan from the heat and set aside until the mixture is lukewarm (about 100 degrees). 2. In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle, mix together the water, yeast, sugar, egg, and yolks at low speed until well mixed. Add the salt, warm milk mixture, and 2 cups of the flour and mix at medium speed until thoroughly blended, about 1 minute. Switch to the dough hook, add another 2 cups of the flour, and knead at medium speed (adding up to ¼ cup more flour, 1 tablespoon at a time, if necessary) until the dough is smooth and freely clears the sides of the bowl, about 10 minutes. Shape the dough into a round, place it in a very lightly oiled large bowl, and cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Leave in a warm, draft-free spot until doubled in bulk, 1½ to 2 hours. 3. Mix together the filling ingredients in a small bowl. Grease a 13 by 9-inch baking dish. 4. After the dough has doubled in bulk, press it down and turn it out onto a lightly floured work surface. Using a rolling pin, shape the dough into a 16 by 12-inch rectangle, with a long side facing you. Mix together the filling ingredients in a small bowl and sprinkle the filling evenly over the dough, leaving a ½-inch border at the far edges. Gently spread the shredded apple on top. Roll the dough, beginning with the long edge closest to you and using both hands to pinch the dough with your fingertips as you roll. Moisten the top border with water and seal the roll. Lightly dust the roll with flour and press on it ends if necessary to make a uniform 16-inch cylinder. Cut the roll in 12 equal pieces and place the rolls cut-side up in the prepared baking dish. Cover with plastic wrap and place in a warm, draft-free spot until doubled in bulk, 1½ to 2 hours.

5. When the rolls are almost fully risen, adjust an oven rack to the middle position and heat the oven to 350 degrees. Sprinkle the crumble topping over the risen rolls. Bake the rolls until golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center of one reads 185 to 188 degrees, 25 to 30 minutes. Cool for 10 minutes. These rolls can be enjoyed with or without a simple glaze: 1-2 cups powdered sugar, 1 TBSP milk and 1 tsp vanilla

What a trial your family is going through...but I know they'll survive it stronger and tougher than ever. Having their baby almost die is a horrible event, but the fact that they passed through it with such grace and strength speaks volumes to what kind of impressive character of steel they must have. You must be so proud of your family indeed!

I hope your cinnamon rolls, or whatever delicious stuff you bake up, becomes another source of great comfort to them! Enjoy your time with your family, bittersweet as it may be, dear Monet. You guys are in my prayers.

Truth is better than a thousand gold pieces, a warm WanLiHan frost, Can arrive a salute sent sweet, A salute all take my thoughts, Busy day take good care of yourself all gold and silver, A LuBao from a prairie greetings, Bring me fragrant smell. From the north's blessing, Let me feel friendship is precious.

You are so strong Monet and I know that as a family, you will give each other the strength needed to get through this. My thoughts and heart, as ever, are with you guys and i'm glad you got to see that unadulterated smile. These cinnamon rolls look marvelous. The kind of comfort food I'm sure you all need right now.

I'm so sorry your nephew continues to be in such pain. Are they trying not to give him medicine to help alleviate that? My thoughts are with you and your family and the medical team in Denver...and with little Ryan.

So happy to hear that you're with your family again, despite the unfortunate circumstances. Thank you for sharing with us--we're all hoping the best for your family!

Thanks also for this delicious cinnamon roll recipe. I thought I was making the pistachio chocolate rolls for Saturday morning breakfast tomorrow, but now I'm torn with this new option available! I'll have to consult Adam to see which sounds better for this weekend :)

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I cannot imagine the pain your sister and brother-in-law are enduring. I am sure your warmth and love means so much to them. I am praying for Baby Ryan and you and your family.

Your whole family sounds amazing, Monet. There is such strength in being together. I'm praying that Baby Ryan has a fast, full recovery, and also that you and your family find moments of joy and peace filling your days.

First and foremost, I'm glad you've made it home to Colorado to be with your family. This is a time when they need you more than anything, and it's great that you can be there for them. I hope Ryan makes progress soon.

There is no greater live than the love between a parent and their child. After becoming a mother myself, I now know that and can say it with confidence. Be where you need to be and do what you need to do, Monet. Still praying for baby Ryan each and everyday. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Reply

Noelle M.

10/29/2010 9:07am

Wish I was with you sister. I cannot wait for Christmas break. It will be wonderful to be home with everyone.

Monet, we'll be here when you return. I'm sure your sister and the rest of your family will be renewed by your strength and prayers. Ryan is one popular little guy with God right now since so many are praying for his recovery. :-)

There's no place like home, and nothing stronger than a family united in love, loyalty and purpose. Take comfort in being together with your family for a while. Comfort them with your thoughtful words and your fabulous baked goods. Blessings.

your cinnamon rolls look so good and comforting. It's really wonderful to have a strong family support during this time of need. All i can offer to you and your family is keep them in my prayers. take care.

Oh, Monet, I'm glad to hear baby Ryan is doing better. I've thought about you and your family so much. It's wonderful that you'll be able to spend time with your sister and Ryan and the rest of your family. You'll remain in my thoughts and prayers, Kate

First, these cinnamon rolls are making me drool. They look so unbelievably scrumptious, Monet! Second, take all the time in the world to spend with your family and tending to the most important things, and people, in your life apart from your blog. We all need a break now and then. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts every day...

Hi Monet, I'm happy you're with your family and spending time with baby Ryan. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday- we are all blessed to enjoy your posts of the most incredible baked goods during this time of such a horrible trial for you, All my best wishes, Patty

I was wondering how your nephew is doing, and sending supportive thoughts your way from the east coast. Your nephew and sister are lucky to have you there, and as if your support weren't enough, you're even baking. I bet it's therapeutic, for you and them. Take care!

I think its inspiring how your family can pull together during such a difficult time. You need each other right now, and I'm glad you're together. It sounds to me like Baby Ryan is healing, that's wonderful.

And those cinnamon rolls . . . they may even rival my Grandma's. I should make them for her.

I'm so sorry to hear that Baby Ryan is still in so much pain; but at the same time, happy to hear that he seems to be recovering. Despite the circumstances, I always love the affectionate way in which you write about your family - and it's good to hear that you have the chance to spend some more time with them (although of course, we'll all miss you while you are away!).

These cinnamon rolls look very much like the apple cinnamon rolls my Mom makes - with just a slightly different, vegan recipe - I can almost smell them through the screen! ;)

Hey Monet, Gosh. I was really hoping that Ryan would be out of the hospital by now. I guess I don't have a full understanding of his condition. Hopefully, things will just get better all of a sudden. You know how that happens sometimes?

Monet- I think about you and your family every day. You all are always in my prayers.

Your rolls look amazing!! I am here for you.xo

Reply

Kelly in Florida

10/30/2010 1:57pm

Thank you for this update. I met Susanne, Craig and Ryan when they were with us at All Childrens. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to be away from them when this all happened. We miss them so much after only knowing them for 2 weeks. Glad they are home with you where they belong and honored that we could stand in the gap for you for a couple of weeks. What an amazing family.

Oh Monet, I'm so happy that your with your family right now. I'm still praying that baby Ryan will show a childs strenght and resilience and pull through this with grace. Don't you worry one minute about not spending time in foodie land. We will all be here to support you when you are done doing what you need to be doing right now, supporting your family.I love the apples in these sweet rolls!Lovely lovely recipe!

What a wonderful creation to leave us with....while we are missing you and praying for you and your family, we can pack on some extra pounds eating those lovely rolls.....sigh....Oh Monet, I wish there were words that could help ease some of your pain. At time like these I try to remember that God has a plan....Take care of yourself and give our love to your family.Dennis

Oh Monet, I was just thinking about you today as I'm making my first pie ever. I just caught up on your posts and was really sad to see you and your family going through another tragedy. My prayers are with you!

It's so important that you are with your family, and baby Ryan. The touch of your hand on his cheek was a loving, and healing touch that he knew, and will give him more strength to endure the pain he and all of you are going through.We have not stopped praying for you and your family, especially for baby Ryan. It is a very difficult time you are going through but you will get through this!

I would love to have your amazing rolls for breakfast tomorrow morning. It would be a great Halloween morning TREAT!God Bless all of you!

I'm so glad you got to go home to be with your family..take care Monet! We'll miss you for the time being but your struggle is much more important and we all know that :) Plus these cinnamon rolls will hold us over for now!

sending you my prayers and well wishes. take care love- i'll be thinking of you. and for sure, just like i mentioned with the banana cinnamon buns, when i get to making cinnibuns over the holidays i'll be definitely trying yours out <3 HUGS AND KISSES!

What a trial your family is going through...The lord says that only by trial you shell know the quality of the soul.He is dripping his blessings on your family,even if you can not see it at the moment.He is there and all is well Monet.Thank you for the recipes and for keeping us informed about Baby Ryan recovery. hugsLila

My dear Girl,What a horrific time you and your family are going through. So happy you can be with them; they need you now and I am sure you need to be with them.I printed out this recipe recipe for my grand daughter's next visit; she will be thrilled.You are such a special person; happy I started blogging to meet someone like you.Sending you a hug and many prayers.Rita

My dearest Monet, please do not worry about us (meaning your friends and blog), we are all there with you in our hearts and thoughts. I am so happy to hear that you are all together, with the exception of Ryan...and I know that part must be difficult for you both. I am also glad that you are able to be with baby Ryan, but so heartbroken to witness his pain.Remember, you have a strong and passioned family...and baby Ryan comes from that family. He will come through this and so will your family.All of my love and thoughts,Alisha

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