Ok. I think it’s time for another episode of “Mel-is-embarrassing-and-can’t-be-taken-anywhere”

Tim Horton’s edition.

My sister recently upgraded her phone, so I have adopted her old beater of a phone. Now this phone is an all touch screen phone, which meant a whole new learning curve for me, when I only had just recently adopted a phone with a keyboard. Many frustrations have ensued.

Anyway, while waiting in line at the coffee shop, I was texting someone, and I was making a mess of it. Button mash galore. So I got frustrated. And yelled at my phone. In the busy line. In the general direction of an unsuspecting man, who thought my cries of frustration were directed at him.

Oh yes. By all appearances, I yelled at a complete stranger.

Oh and did I mention that a co-worker was in the line as well and saw all this go down.

Needless to say, I needed cake after work.

Pina Colada Cake Roll

serves 8-10

For the cake:

4 eggs, separated

3/4 cups sugar, divided

2 Tbsp coconut rum or rum extract

1 Tbsp canola oil

2/3 cup flour, sifted

1 cup shredded coconut

For the filling:

1/4 cup flour

1 cup milk

1 cup butter, softened

2 cups icing sugar

1 can crushed pineapple, drained

For the Cake:

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease and line a 15 x 10 jelly roll pan with parchment paper, then grease the parchment paper. Set ‘er aside.

In a large bowl, beat the eggs yolks until doubled in volume and lemony coloured. Gradually beat in 1/4 cup of sugar. Stir in the oil and the rum. Set it aside

In another large bowl, whip the egg whites until you get soft peaks. Gradually add the remaining sugar, a tablespoon at a time, until you get stiff and glossy peaks. Gently fold the egg whites into the egg yolk mixture.

Add the flour and the coconut to the egg mixture and gently fold until just combined. Spread the batter gently into the pan. Bake in the preheated of for 10-12 minutes or until the cake springs back when you touch it lightly.

While the cake is still warm, cover it with a tea towel dusted with icing sugar, then loosely roll it up starting from a short side. Move it to a cooling rack, and let it cool completely in the tea towel.

For the Filling:

In a small saucepan, combined the flour and 1/4 cup of milk, whisking until smooth. Cook over gentle heat, until thickened, slowly adding the remaining milk. You want this mixture to be as thick as pudding, and expect it to thicken up some more as it cools. Remove from heat and let cool completely.

Meanwhile, beat together the butter and the icing sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the cooled milk mixture and the crushed pineapple.

To Fill the Cake:

Gently unroll the cooled cake, peeling off the parchment paper and tea towel. Spread the filling evenly over the cake, leaving about an inch at each end. Roll the cake back up and set seam side down onto a serving plate.

Sprinkle the top with some extra shredded coconut, then slice and serve.

And the Tenth Doctor is coming back! Do you know how exciting this is for me??? *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE*

It can not be contained.

Which means that I have Doctor Who on the brain. Constantly. Much to the chagrin of my non-Whovian fiancee.

However, he does like cookies. And if there is one thing I can’t resist, it’s cookies. Especially when I can get nerdy with them.

Which is where this cookie comes in. The first time I saw it on the show, I mistook it for a Peak Frean, one of those cookies with the sugared jam in the middle and the cream filling around it. When I found out it wasn’t actually that cookie, I had to do a bit of digging, since they aren’t as common here in Canada.

So I present to you, my spin on the Jammie Dodger, the Eleventh Doctor’s favourite snack, remote self destruct button for the TARDIS, and the biscuit carefully left bedside for the impossible girl.

Preheat your oven to 350°F/ 180°C. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, beat together the butter and the icing sugar until smooth.

In another small bowl, whisk together the flour and the custard powder. Gradually beat into the butter mixture until just combined, scraping down the sides if necessary .

On a floured surface, roll out the dough to about 1/8 in/ 3mm thickness. Cut with a 2 in / 5 cm round cutter. In half of the cookies, cut a small circle or heart out of the center.

Bake in the preheated oven for 10 minutes, or until light golden brown. Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.

Once the cookies have cooled completely, spread about 1 tsp of raspberry jam onto one of the whole cookies. Top with one of the cookies with the cut outs. Transfer to an airtight container and let set over night so that the jam soaks into the cookies a bit and “glues” the cookies together.

When I noticed some pizza dough in the freezer it hit me. One of my favourite treats when I was a kids was bacon double cheeseburger pizzas. I would literally beg my dad to order it instead of the usual pepperoni. We’ve also been on a bit of a calzone kick, every once and a while picking one up when we’re out visiting friends. And with that the idea was born. With a quick egg wash, I had something both delicious and challenge worthy.

Bacon Double Cheese Burger Pockets

makes 6 pockets

Homemade or store bought pizza dough ( I made my own, but after the disaster I made last time, I used the recipe out of my Kitchen Aid manual )

1 lb ( 454 g) ground beef

1 medium onion, chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1/2 cup beef broth

1/2 cup barbecue sauce

1/4 cup ketchup

2 Tbsp mustard

6 strips of bacon, cooked till crisp

3 cups shredded cheddar cheese, divided

2 cups shredded pepper jack cheese

1 egg, beaten

Preheat the oven to 350° F/ 180 ° C. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large pan, brown the meat, onions, and garlic together, until onions are translucent and meat is no longer pink. Drain any excess fat and return to the pan. Add the beef broth, barbecue sauce, ketchup and mustard to the pan, stirring to combine. Simmer the mixture until it is thickened.

Divide the pizza dough into 6 equal sections. On a lightly floured surface, roll out each into a round to about 6 inches/ 15 cm across. I find it easiest to use a rolling pin, but feel free to stretch it out by hand. Divide the meat mixture between the six rounds. Top with a strip of bacon and 1/3 cup of each of the cheeses.

Fold one edge of the round over, so that you end up with a half moon shape. To seal the pocket, gently press the edges together, then fold over. Transfer to the paper lined sheet.

Brush each of the tops with some of the beaten egg, making sure to cover along the seams. Sprinkle with the reserved cheddar cheese

Bake in the preheated oven for about 15 minutes, or until the cheese has melted and the dough is golden brown. Let cool on the tray for about 5 minutes, then serve along side a fresh salad.

Don’t forget to check out what others have come up with using Eggs and Bacon!

Regardless, we decided to stay downtown and get something to eat instead of heading back home, only to have to drive back out a little while later.

Nearby the tax place is a little Chinese buffet called the OK restaurant. Despite the name they are actually pretty good; decent prices, quiet, and they have this little crab thingies that are awesome. Mr Ginge and I will fight over them. Anyways, with a name like that and my sense of humour, it was let just wide open for puns. This was how our night went:

Mr Ginge: What do you feel like for dinner? Pizza? Chinese?

Me : Ya. Chinese sounds good.

Mr Ginge: OK

Then later while we were eating.

Me: How are your crab thingies?

Mr. Ginge: OK

Then for dessert:

Me: You going up or dessert?

Mr. Ginge: OK

And then finally as we got the bill:

Waitress: And how was your meal?

Both Mr. Ginge and I : OK

Now imagine copious amounts of sniggering at every ok.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel Cookies

makes 32 cookies

1 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup white sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla

2 1/2 cups flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 cup crushed pretzels

2 cups peanut butter chips

32 whole mini pretzel twists (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C. Line your baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and the sugars until light and fluffy.

Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Beat in the vanilla.

In another bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, and baking soda. Gradually add it to the butter mixture, mixing so that it is combined.

Fold in the crushed pretzels and the peanut butter chips. Scoop by the rounded tablespoon onto the prepare baking sheet. Top with a whole mini pretzel, squishing down lightly, just so that the pretzel sticks to the top and the cookie stays thick.

Bake for 10-12 minutes in the preheated oven. Let cool on the sheet for a couple minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

But the lovely waitress at Whiskey John’s Bar and Grill who did come up with the recipe was more than happy to send Mr. Ginge home with the it.

Now, I’m not one to hype up a shooter. More often than not they end up being liquid heartburn. And highly expensive for two tablespoons worth of drink. But OH MY GOD this one is good. You need to go to your liquor store and get the stuff you need now. It’s that good.

Apple Pie Shooter

makes 1 shooter, easily multiplied

1/2 oz sour green apple liqueur

1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps

whipped cream, for garnish (optional)

pinch of grated cinnamon

In a shot glass, layer the sour green apple liqueur and the butterscotch schnapps

Top with a dollop of whipped cream ( if desired) and a pinch of cinnamon.

Likely a post that would have been more suitable to have been posted a month ago, but oh well. You get it now.

On the bright side though, I managed to check another item of my 25 while I’m 25 list! Woo hoo! And you get fresh baked bread in under an hour.

This was a huge success for me, not only because I got to knock an item that has been on my To-Do list for a looong time, but because I was able to share and teach my sister how to make it before sharing it here.

Now this may not seem like a huge accomplishment, but anyone who knows me, or at the very least, anyone who has ever tried to cook with me, knows that I do not share the kitchen well. I don’t share counter space and tend to get snippy when people get in my way. Even so, I managed to drag my non-baking sister into the kitchen and successfully taught her how to make her very first loaf of home made bread. This is also an amazing feat. I am really not a good teacher

While my Mom does have pictures of us, seemingly co-operating in the kitchen, historically this is not the case. I can think of more than one occasion where me trying to teach her how to bake ended up in a screaming match. Hahaha

Thankfully, this time it resulted in some warm crusty bread, perfect for dunking into soup or stew. Or even just slathered with butter and honey. A much better result if you ask me.

Some notes on the recipe:

I’ve listed both volume and weight measurements, but I got a better result using weight measurements for the flour.

I have adjusted the recipe to make a small loaf that comfortably serves four. It tends to dry out quickly, so I didn’t want a whole lot of leftovers kicking around and going to waste.

Preheat the oven to 425°F. Lightly grease a round 8 in casserole or cake pan.

Sift the flour in to a large bowl, then whisk in the baking soda, brown sugar and salt. Make a large well in the centre of the dry ingredients.

Pour the buttermilk into the well and gradually stir in the flour, until it is all combined and you have a slightly sticky dough. If your dough is really sticky, then add a bit more flour, a couple tablespoons at a time.

Knead the dough lightly, about once or twice, so that you don’t squish out all of the gases, then form the dough into a ball. Place in the greased casserole. Dust the top of the dough with some flour, then with a sharp knife make a couple of slashes in the top o the bread.

Bake in the preheated oven for about 30 minutes, or until you have a deep golden crust, and the bottom sounds hollow when you give it a tap.

Let it cool on a wire rack, then cut into wedges ( while still warm) to serve.

Like Elliot Moose. Don’t look at me that way. I have younger siblings.

Other times it’s a word or phrase, or something that just doesn’t make sense in the maze that is my mind. Like butterscotch. Why doesn’t it actually have scotch in it?

All the time I was growing up I forced myself to eat the butterscotch candies because of scotch. Not that I knew what scotch tasted like. Not that I even really knew what it looked like. Not that I really like scotch now. My parents aren’t really big drinkers, let alone Scotch drinkers, so I had no idea where this whole concept came to me. I just know that I was crushed when I found out Butterscotch was a relatively neutral combination of brown sugar and butter.

It bothered me that something very clearly labelled “scotch” contained nothing of the sort.

Now, in the later days of my internet rich adolescence, I was able to look up why scotch was included in the name but not the treat. Some say “scotch” is a reference to having to score the candies. Other say it’s a derivation of “scorch”. I still think it’s dumb and that we are being ripped off.

So I decided to change that, and when I had a hankering for pie, I made it happen. So I give you Butter”Scotch” pie that is actually true to it’s name, and all is right in the world. It does taste a bit more like a “butter rum” ( only scotchey) versus a true butterscotch, so keep that in mind if that’s not something you like.

Butter “Scotch” Pie

serves 6-8

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup melted butter

or

1 9 inch prepared graham cracker crust

1 cup brown sugar ( darker is better)

4 tbsp flour

1/4 tsp salt

2 cups milk ( we use 2%)

2 egg yolks, lightly beaten

2 tbsp/ 30 mL scotch ( we had Grants, so I used that)

1 tbsp butter

1/2 cup whipping cream

1 tbsp icing sugar

1 tsp vanilla

If you are using a prepared graham crust, then skip to 2. Preheat the oven to 350°F. In a large bowl, combine the graham crumbs and the melted butter, until all the crumbs have been coated. Using the back of a spoon, evenly press the crumbs into a 9 inch pie pan. Bake the crust for 10 minutes, then let cool.

Meanwhile, in a sauce pan combine the sugar, flour, and salt. Mix together the milk and the eggs and slowly mix in into the sugar mixture.

Heat over medium heat, just bringing it to a boil, stirring constantly. Cook for about 10 minutes or until it had thickened. Stir in the butter and the scotch.

Pour the filling in to the cooled and prepared crust. Press a piece of plastic wrap over the filling to avoid forming a skin. Let chill several hours or overnight.

Just before serving, combine the whipping cream, icing sugar, and vanilla extract. Beat until stiff peaks form. Remove the plastic wrap from the pie and spread the whipped cream over top. Slice and serve.

So there you have it. Butterscotch pie that is no longer lying to you.

You see, I really enjoy doing them. Makes me think outside of the box a little bit when I am coming up with recipes.

This can backfire bit for me though. Like last month when the ingredients were heart shaped foods and flours. Problem was I use flour daily. I bake constantly and flour is not a challenge for me. So I over thought it, and ended up panicking, and then the improv day came and went and I never managed to get anything posted. I so could have rocked that challenge, but alas, I did not.

So for this month’s challenge of peas and carrots, I copped out a bit by using frozen peas and carrots, but still am sharing with you an awesome recipe that I make all the time. The recipe came about when we ended up with tons of leftovers from an enormous venison roast we cooked up for dinner.

Because venison (especially left over venison) can be a bit gamey, I make a beef gravy to go into it. Of course if you don’t like, or don’t have access to venison, beef will work just fine as well. These also freeze amazingly, so if you have time, a double batch will give you lots to stow away in the freezer for a quick and easy meal.

Leftover Venison Meat Pies

makes about 8 pies.

Pastry ( store-bought or homemade) for a double crust pie

1 tbsp butter

1/2 small onion, diced

1 clove of garlic, minced

1 1/2 cups beef stock , divided

2 tbsp flour

3/4 cup left over venison roast, diced

3/4 cup frozen peas and carrots ( I used frozen mixed veggies)

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese ( optional)

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Roll out your pastry to about an 1/8 in (2-3mm). Cut out 8 5 in ( 12 cm) circles, re-rolling out as needed. Because I didn’t have a round cutter that big, so I used a bowl and the tip of a knife to cut out my circles. Gently fold them into the cups of a muffin pan and set aside. With the remaining pastry, cut out 8 2 in (5cm) circles and set aside.

In a deep pan or dutch oven, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic and cook until translucent.

Pour in 1 cup of the beef broth and bring to a boil. Meanwhile whisk the flour in the remaining 1/2 cup of broth. Add to the boiling stock, and stir constantly, until slightly thickened.

Add the meat, veggies, and cheese if using, and cook until warm.

Divide the mixture between the eight prepared shells. Top with the rounds, and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until the pastry is golden.

Don’t forget to click the link to check out the other great Peas and Carrots recipes!

Now I realize that this may not be any sort of revelation to anyone, but I certainly learned it the hard way the other night.

Do not crack your eggs right into your mixer bowl. Especially if your mixer is on. Because you very quickly go from picking a few eggs shells out of the batter, to a million evil little shards of shell mixed thoroughly in. And are you left staring into the bowl contemplating whether or not it’s worth trying to pick out all the little bits of egg shell so you don’t waste the half pound of butter in there, or sadly dumping it into the trash can.

I’ll save you some time and effort. Just dump it and start again. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to dig the blasted bits out.

I rock at this baking thing.

Fortunately, this pound cake is egg shell free. Also delicious. Loaded with tart cranberries and topped off with a lemon glaze, it’s the perfect end to a meal or wonderful along side your coffee in the morning.

Lemon Cranberry Pound Cake

makes 2 9×3 cakes

1/2 cup milk

6 eggs

3 1/2 cups flours

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups butter, cut in to cubes and softened

2 tbsp lemon juice

2 tsp lemon zest

1 cup cranberries

2 cups icing sugar

3-4 tbsp of lemon juice

Preheat you oven to 350°F. Grease and flour 2 9×3 loaf pans.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the milk and the eggs. Set aside.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder. Slowly beat in the butter, continuing to mix until it is fully incorporated.

Once mixed, pour in half of the milk mixture, mixing well. Scrape down the sides, then mix in the remaining half of the milk mixture. Scrape down the sides again then fold in the lemon juice, lemon zest, and cranberries.

Pour into the prepared pans and bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then move to a wire rack to cool completely.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice and icing sugar to a pouring consistency ( not too thin or it will pour right off the cake) Pour over the cooled cakes and let set, about an hour.

Often, I can’t think of anything to say. Like now. So instead I`ll blather on about what`s been going on Chez Ginge.

Both Sash Moustache and Chewy have been dropped off at the vet to get fixed. And they have to stay there for two days after the surgery( which went well, and last time I called they were doing well in recovery).Jack looked at us strangely when we walked in sans cat. In true cat-lady style, I miss them already. I’m so not looking forward to not having my snuggli for another night.

Mr Ginge is a BIG movie fan, and often brings home a couple movies for us to watch. Recently, he’s brought home Rise of the Guardians and Playing for Keeps. Me, being the absolutely mature woman that I am, loved Rise of the Guardians. If you haven’t seen in, please do. It’s absolutely wonderful, and it’s kind of funny thinking of Hugh Jackman as a fluffy bunny. I absolutely hated Playing for Keeps. I hate stupid characters. Girls that fall for the whore of a main character. Characters that do blatantly stupid things. Random and violent changes of mood or heart. Sadly it’s not limited to movies. I’ve thrown books across the room for the exact same reason.

I finally got into a program that will help me get better. I’m anxious and nervous about starting, and in true Melli style have run through situations a million times through my head, but I’m also hopeful about the treatment. While I absolutely love the doctors I have, I’m sick of appointments and going to see them, hahaha.

Speaking of Doctors, I have been absolutely hooked on Doctor Who. My sister is in love with the show, and honestly, I was getting sick of not understanding her jokes and references. So I decided to watch it, despite not really being a sci-fi fan, and generally hating anything to do with aliens. Aaaaaaaand now I’m hooked. I’m only on season two ( of both Dr Who and Torchwood…..) But I’ve already watched and re-watched soooo many episodes. I’ve been rocking a Union Jack tee à la Rose circa Empty Child (one of my favourites) thanks to my lovely sister, who has also been rocking the same shirt.

Oreos are a bad thing to have in our house. I bought a pack to make these cupcakes for Mr. Ginges birthday, and we’ve had to hide the bag so that Mr Ginge and I don’t devour them all.

Cookies and cream is one of Mr Ginge’s absolute favourite combination, so these cupcakes were irresistible I like that they don’t make a super huge batch. Just enough to share, and not have a whole bunch kicking around the house for a while. Especially when you are already hiding the Oreos.

In a small saucepan, combine the flour and 1/8th of a cup of milk, whisking until combined. Cook over medium heat until thickened. Slowly pour in the remaining milk, whisking constantly until it has thickened to about the consistency of custard. Set aside and cool to room temperature.

Meanwhile, beat together the butter and the icing sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.

Slowly pour in the cooled milk mixture and continue beating until light and fluffy.

Transfer the icing to a piping bag fitted with a wide tip, and pipe onto the cooled cupcakes. Sprinkle with additional cookie crumbs