Shopkeeper: Each one of these authors does write gripping stories – Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Oliver Twist...

Customer: And I am partial to a bit of poetry.

Shopkeeper: Poetry? A gripping story and poetry? Hmmm… Of course! Homer’s Iliad – a true classic.

Customer: Homer Simpson?!

Shopkeeper: No. Homer, the Greek poet. The Iliad is one of his epic poems.

Customer: So it’s just a poem then?

Shopkeeper: Yes.

Customer: But I don’t want that. I want a gripping story with some poetry in it.

Shopkeeper: Oh. A story with some poetry. How about Winnie the Pooh?

Customer: Winnie the Pooh?

Shopkeeper: Yes. Well, strictly speaking they’re not poems, they’re more like rhymes… or hums, as Pooh puts it. But it is a classic and an all-time bestseller, translated into over 50 languages. It ticks all your boxes.

Customer: And does it really get to the heart of what it means to be human?

Shopkeeper: I’m sorry?

Customer: Does it explain the human condition?

Shopkeeper: You... er… didn’t actually specify that.

Customer: Didn’t I? That is very important to me.

Shopkeeper: Of course.

Customer: And it has to be a book that dramatically changes people's lives.

Shopkeeper: OK. Let’s get this straight. You want an international best seller, written by a great author, with a gripping story and some poetry, which explains the human condition and dramatically changes people’s lives?

Customer: Yes.

Shopkeeper: I’m really sorry. I just don’t think such a book could possibly exist.