Read through my thoughts as I write them while I stare blank at the mirror humans call Life.

Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Oct 18, 2007

I was about to give up in giving my blogsite a taint of interaction because it has been a week since I posted an entry about HAPPINESS and I received no comment or message whatsoever from my readers (a few good souls). But before closing my doors to such thought, a friend e-mailed me with a three page confession about her encounter with Happiness. I have summarized her info (with her permission of course) and chose to spice it with some laughable stuff and sprinkled a bit of saucy side-comments – pun intended, to make our learning with life lighter and juicier. Whoa! Actually, she rolled off her chair laughing at her silliness after she read this entry (she edited the names of the guys in respect to them even those bastards deserve not a pint of such). I hope too, that you'll like this as much as my friend did. And so I write: Six Men and a Lady.

It was June of 1991 when Aurora (of course, this isn't my friend's real name, I'll protect her identity too, baka sugurin siya ng mga diyaskeng lalaking naka-ulayaw niya – her term) felt the fangs of the so called love bit her innocence and squeezed her sanity and be fooled by this cute angel-looking guy her age. Renato (of course, this isn't the guy's real name, too) didn't know Aurora loved him from a distance, though she would initiate brief conversations to attract his attention. But sad to say, Aurora was plain-looking that time and not a single guy could take to even just look at her with all her pimplets (small pimples, not actually pimples, but some sort of a skin disease she managed to have acquired from her ancestors, so she claims) and display some kind of affection or even wanting to be her friend.

Poor Aurora, she just contented herself loving Renato at a distance. One day, the guy seemed to have noticed the lass' intellectual prowess that he, for the first time, talked to her… really talked to her. So they say, too, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We may call it magic (to me I thought of it as witchcraft), that Renato started wooing Aurora. He followed her everywhere. Attended parties with her. Gimmicked with her and her girl-friends. Until he disclosed his undying love for her. Promised her everything under the sun including every single entity in the heavens and the galaxies.

Indeed poor Aurora, she believed the sweet lies of Renato. She gave her the kind of love she thought she is not capable of sharing with someone other than her parents. She was happy. Very, very happy. Almost felt bliss. Ecstasy. Her moments with her seemed to last a lifetime. But it didn't. A trivial incident, so she thought, ended her happiness with Renato. An act of concern to another ended the happiness she has encountered with Renato. He left without hearing an explanation or asking her for a line or two. The next instant she knew, he was with somebody else. The promises? They are now all part of the heavens and the galaxies Aurora said, that which she can never reach in this life. And I add: Sana nagpatiwakal ka na lang para nakarating ka sa heavens and galaxies na promise ni Papa one sa iyo. (Kung doon nga ang patutunguhan mo!)

Then I asked: After sixteen years, what do you feel for him?

Aurora answered: Stupid guy! She fooled the wrong woman.

I retorted: But you believed his promises?

Her answer: Of course not! The stars he must have mentioned he would give me might be the craters (meteors) he saw all over my face when he once stared at me blankly under the acacia tree. I'm intelligent you know! I can read whether the guy loves me or just playing off with me.

So I asked back: Then why did you engage in a mutual understanding with him?

She snapped: Just for experience! His promises? Well, it hardened like kidney stones in my memory…

And so I concluded: Let's call Guy number 1, Renato – Promisecalises.

Happiness… when it left, it became her source of sorrow, she must admit.

But life must go on. She met Guy number 2, Diomedes – Dedmatolagious.

Why so? Guess you have to read on. But I think you don't need an ounce of gray matter to presume.

Well hell! The guy needs some bludgeoning. Aurora took her (again) for experience. Funny though, she fell in love with the guy without her noticing it. She just woke up one day, ready to take the kamikaze drive and plunge herself in the pits of no return which she again called love.

Aurora reminisced in her letter that the Pontius Pilate was a real funny guy and she found comfort in his laughter.

I replied angrily (somehow): So laughter can allure women like you to get into a relationship when in the first and second place you knew you weren't (aren't) compatible (well, so I concluded because of the difference in their mental abilities)!?

She answered with equal intensity: Yup! Aren't you?

(God! I feel guilty some ways because I was one of those trusted friends of Aurora who took the initiative to get the guy's leg going. I mean, nanulsol para ligawan siya. Promise! I didn't know the guy was dumb as hell! A girl-friend just said he got a "0" in Philo class. Argh! And it was too late then. Forgive me Aurora! But I have seen her happiness (quite a pull) with Diomedes. The name I chose really stinks, eh!)

At this extent, Aurora claimed: If only I were near you, Maria, I can squeeze your veins off your flabby neck!

To cut the short story shorter, Aurora broke up with him when one day, she requested to fix her comforter carelessly spread through her bed.

"Why? What the hell can that instigate?", you may ask.

Because my readers, Diomedes, a.k.a. Dedmatolagious is like a living dead walking around town without his brains dictating some logic and a bit of knowledge and common sense. What he did? (Suspense ba?) He got the whole computer unit all fixed on top of Aurora's bed and exclaimed proudly, "I carried with me too the mouse and the keyboard, Sweetheart. Aren't you thankful?"

Diddums!

Believe me, he did that.

If you don't. Well, I'm not in the position to force you to.

And so Guy number 3 came into the picture. Too late than Aurora could have wished he would have. We decided to name him nothing because in essence, he was almost nothing (so she thought, again… and again… and again… na parang ako na rin). Kasi naman po itong si Romualdo ay walang bay--! Namputsa! Aurora almost bared herself infront of him and he only said one word, "Ginaw!"

Life is a big joke. Really it is! When Aurora was no longer entertaining in her thoughts the image of Romualdo that was when he called her up. She was surprised to receive his call after almost four years. And she felt sheer excitement, too. She thought that maybe, Romualdo has matured a bit and gained some confidence (guts) to eventually ask her out for some cup of coffee. After a few minutes of chit-chat, the line went blank. Some whooshy-whishy sound at first then went dead. She waited for a couple of minutes. Then an hour. Then a day. A week. A month. Until a year. And ultimately, she resigned to the hope that he is still interested with her.

Time flowed like living water, finding some place to rest for some moments and in due time would rush through the sea and join with the gyration of the waves.

That happened with Aurora. Like a living water, she purified herself immensely, have grown more beautiful (so she claimed after she spent some million in leveling the craters on her face and pouring some acid all over her body to make it white as snow… ugh!). And after almost nine years, she saw him climb the bus she was into. Their eyes met. Some spark aglow. He passed through her. Brushed his warm skin daintily against hers. Then he spoke, "Hi!"

My reaction: THAT WAS IT? After so many years, that was all he had to say? After having kept you waiting, that was all he said? By golly! That jerk!!!

I sensed some tremble in Aurora's voice on the other line. There were no letters appearing on my screen, too. She went blank.

And I don't think I can go on with my story just yet because our editing ended with Guy number 3. Hope you understand. The girl needs some time to think it over. And I guess, Romualdo still has a part in my friend's heart.

What do you think?

And hey, before I forget. I guess by now you could assume (as safe as one could) why we called Romualdo nothing.