Category: ‘Live Like a Flower’

A new year brings on desires to better ourselves — sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, sometimes spiritually. We want to do this for ourselves as well as our relationships with others. Last year, we kicked off a series of blog posts, released each month, to help you do just that.

These short-but-mighty pieces of advice are offered by experts in happiness, design psychology, love and relationships, and change. Resolve to Live Like A Flower, and you will find joy and peace for yourself and for those around you.

For 15 years, I’ve been in the trenches of disordered homes and offices across America. Every cluttered environment has one thing in common: what we focus on changes us.

The more we live in chaos – intentionally or through neglect – the more we reap that dividend. Those who choose to take back their lives and their environments make an investment in peace and fulfillment.

How we view obstacles determines the quality of our life. Loss, frustrations, and conflicts present themselves to us all, and our mindset will determine our outcomes.

I’ve taken on the belief that setbacks in life are not only temporary but that they are stepping stones. I practiced that belief, until it took root inside me. I have chosen to claim victory over the hardships and to be thankful for them –because I now know that this little bit of rain is actually watering the soil of my life!

You, too, can be grateful for the “rain” when you take on the understanding that obstacles are just veiled opportunities and that your soil is being enriched by them. A thankful attitude is an investment in a peaceful, fulfilled life. It can help you live like a flower – nimbly and gracefully in all kinds of weather and refreshed by the rain. Read More

Did you ever notice that most women have friends, but few of us have been educated on how to grow and cultivate friendships that nourish, grow deeper over time and ultimately give more than they take? Even if we have friends we’ve known for years, or we have a lot of friends in number, most women lack – and crave – deeper soul sister connections. In my work with women around the world as a coach and relationship expert, I hear again and again how lonely women are for meaningful, truly supportive friendships, or how often they hang onto the wrong friendships, just like staying in the wrong romantic relationship, and so there is no space for new buds to come in.

The truth is that just like things in nature, like flowers and plants, there is a season for everything. Annuals come back year after year, while some only bloom once. And we are okay with that, because we know if we plant new buds in the ground, new flowers bloom. We could learn a lot about friendship from flowers. Every friendship has a season, some a lifetime, others years and some just a few months — and when we let one friendship go, another will bloom in its place. Some flowers go together better than others, just like people, and the best flower arrangements come from intention and creativity. Flowers do better when loved and cared for, and when they are planted or presented in bunches, or grow together in fields or gardens. Read More

Four years ago I co-founded The Camellia Network, a nonprofit organization set out to change the way youth transitioning out of foster care are viewed and supported. What I’ve learned through that experience, and through raising my two eldest foster sons, is that what foster youth need more than anything is a community that cares about them. No matter what your personal passion, the advice I offer below is how to grow roots in your own community.

Ask people to tell their stories. Everyone has a story, full of both heartbreak and triumph, but we can’t see their story just by looking at them. Asking people to share allows you to find common ground even when all you see—externally—are differences.

Be real. We have been trained to broadcast our successes and hide our failures. But the truth is this: our failures humanize us, and they connect us to one another. Being truthful about both sides of your story will help you form more honest connections with those you love and admire. Read More

When people think about organizing their life, they often focus on the external value of a “makeover” to their space. Yet, taking the time to order your environment and your life has much greater internal value – both individually and communally.

An ordered life is one that isn’t just “organized;” it’s arranged around the things that matter most to you. It’s a life that puts first-things-first.

I’ve found that people who are just “organized” actually can become enslaved to keeping up with the never-ending needs of home and work. “Organized” is a fleeting state of a-place-for-everything; whereas “ordered” is a state of living life intentionally and with your values at the center of the equation.

To be sure, being “organized” is useful, too; our minds clear as our space clears. When your environment is sensible and simple, you’re open to hospitality and possibility. Just be sure that the end goal is not tidiness, but that the arranging of space and schedules actually makes the way for your true life priorities. Read More