(Editor’s note: this post is not a real news story. We made it up. As a joke.)

In the wake of news that newly acquired center Andrew Bynum will likely miss the season opener due to discomfort in his right knee, Sixers management rushed to emphasize that in the grand scheme of things the injury should just be a blip on the radar.

“We’re disappointed for Andrew, obviously, but I’m not overly concerned about the injury,” coach Doug Collins told reporters after a Friday morning practice. “I mean, a nuclear Iran, hurricane Sandy, the possibility that we’re living in a Godless universe — that’s the sort of thing I’m really concerned about.”