Ariana’s Fearless Friday

Without further ado, Ariana shares her Adventures of One Very Small Boy and One Rookie Mom:

I gave birth to our first child, Lars Magnus, on May 11, 2010. Since then upstate NY has been unbearably hot. I like to think it’s the world helping Lars adjust to life outside the womb – or playing a cruel trick on me because breastfeeding in 100+ degree weather is sticky and tricky.

We had blown through all our good diapers. We were down to a pack of Target brand size 1s that run big/tend to leak. Someone had given them to us so we figured we’d use them, but after the third leaky poo spot on mine and Lars’ clothes, I snapped and needed good diapers!

We’ve been using diapers.com, until we figured out that they are actually cheaper at Walmart. You just have to admit to the world that Yes, you do shop at Walmart, and you also have to actually go to Walmart, which can be fun, terrifying, trying, and eye-opening. So, having decided that I needed some Huggies ASAP, I braved the 100-degree Saturday with my 8-week old boy to make a journey to Walmart.

Lars slept in the car, and in the store, and we were doing so well that I decided to pick up a few other things, razor blades, a chocolate bar, you know, the necessities.

Ok, and I’ll admit it, I tried on shorts from the Miley Cyrus line. Why? Because I needed clothes that fit me and refuse to believe that I’ll be this size long enough to sink money into good clothes. Well apparently I got cocky with my perfectly happy, sleeping baby. I should’ve just gone in, made a mad dash for the diaper section and checked out because… Lars woke up – SCREAMING!!!!! I quickly put back the too-big nursing bra I was inspecting, and tried to steer my cart — which of course sported a wobbly wheel because smooth-running carts only exist when I go to a store with my husband — out of the narrow aisles of lingerie.

Meanwhile, a little girl, probably about nine years old, was trying to soothe Lars/staring at us/telling her mom the baby’s crying. Oh really? I hadn’t heard him – from across the store!!! She was actually being really sweet, but child, PLEASE don’t touch my kid!!!! Not helping! So we get around the undies and the mom and daughter team, and I make my way to the checkout lanes. Lars is still wailing. A helpful associate notices my situation (ok, lets be real, everyone does) and offers to ring me up right away. She does a great job of being speedy, and even puts my bag in my cart for me; thanks lady! But Ms. Helpful doesn’t stop there. She then comes closer and says something brilliant, like “someone’s unhappy” and though I know she means Lars, she could be talking about me too. And then she tries to comfort him by talking to him and TOUCHING HIS TOES!!!! I don’t like strangers touching my baby.

I definitely don’t like strangers in Walmart touching my baby!!!

The lady was blocking my exit route, so I had to politely ask her to move, all the while depressing the urge to run over her toes with my cart and then high five Lars. Lars was still crying.

As soon as we got out of Walmart and into the hot humid parking lot, he calmed down. I know buddy, I hate Walmart too. I guess that’s why diapers.com exists.

Lars is 10 and a half weeks old now. He’s awesome and pretty easy to take to places. He’s gone out to eat many times, gone swimming (ok sat in the shade by a friend’s pool), sailing and hiking. I think he always was pretty easy, but now I have a better idea of when and how to do things.

The most successful baby-in-the-real world venture we’ve had yet, happened last week. After my first pilates class (felt wonderful, dad stayed home with the boy, and I was out of the house without the baby and just focusing on me), we decided to go out to dinner and a movie with friends. We brought Lars with us. He was SO GOOD! He slept on and off during dinner, but when he was awake he just looked around, needing a pacifier a few times, but nothing that four of us adults couldn’t handle quietly. After dinner we stopped for ice cream (for those of us/all but me who aren’t breastfeeding and haven’t been put of dairy by the doc). Lars slept. Then we went to the movies. Lars slept. I was so nervous. I had the diaper bag open and ready, a pacifier at finger’s reach, a breastfeeding friendly shirt on. Oh I was prepared! He slept through the whole entire thing, opening his eyes fleetingly a few times. That was it. It was amazing. And lucky too, because I really didn’t want to expose my 10 week old to the tumultuous love triangle and vampire violence that is Twilight Eclipse.

Yes, I hadn’t gone to the movies in six months and I willingly went to see Eclipse. And I’m 26.

Go you! I’m not ashamed to say we’ve shopped at walmart too. If you never want to go back, you can order diapers from amazon for pretty cheap. you can sign up for amazon mom and then subscribe and save and it’s a pretty sweet deal, plus free shipping.

“…smooth-running carts only exist when I go to a store with my husband”

Hahahaha, so true! I can’t believe you took your baby to a movie. I haven’t dared to do anything like that and my daughter is nearly 5 months old. The fear of her interrupting the movie and getting a screaming fit would spoil all the fun for me

Thanks for the comments, and thanks for the advice Tobasco and Kelly, I’d never heard of Amazon mom lars will be 5 months next week and we have gotten much better at going to the store! Good luck with the movies if you try Nina!