...for not knowing who the current governor of New Jerkey Jersey, the wonderful state which allows me to live in it, is. I was under the mistaken impression it was Commandant Jon Corzine, former TARPer-in-chief at Goldman Sachs. But today, his honor Mr. Vice President Joe Biden, one of the 15 or 16 hundred smartest people in the world, disabused me of this notion:

Quote:

Biden also praised Tim Kaine as the "great governor of New Jersey."One problem: Tim Kaine's not governor of New Jersey.

Jon Corzine is governor of New Jersey (Remember, he didn't wear his seatbelt in the state patrol car for the big high-speed crash).

Comrades, I am so ashamed of myself, I am hereby denying myself the priviledge of watching any President Obama prime-time press conferences for the next 6 months. I will also donate any and all financial benefits I might accrue from Waxman-Markey Cap n' Trade, the National Health Care Reform Bill and the recently passed Stimulus package to ACORN Community Organizations International. Please feel free to make fun of my stupidity and denounce me to your friends and neighbors.

You may yet be forgiven if you quickly immolate yourself before the all wise and all knowing Biden. He of course meant to say that that Tim Kaine will soon be govenor of both Virgina and New Jersey.....

Opiate, it is entirely appropriate to believe the current wisdom. Of course the Best and Highest current wisdom is what you get in your tin-foil hat from Laika, or in your bridgework, whichever affords you the best reception.

But a major-league prog like Corzine has major prog cred, and therefore out to be believed.

Do not scourge yourself too badly, Opiate. I believe you merely suffered from wishful thinking...

[sigh] No, I cannot use that as an excuse, for those who know my dedication to progressivism would tell you that if I were to indulge in wishful thinking, I would have imagined NY's David Patterson were governor.

[microphone off].... more likely Sarah Palin, if for no other reason than to send the NYC media nitwits into a psychotic frenzy. Possibly Keith Olbermann's head might even explode. It would be worth the trouble of trying to find MSNBC on the FIOS box just to see that.

Ah, the People's Republic of Jersey. I thought it was so unfair when Pennsylvania erected signs along the border with Jersey that said "Pennsylvania, America starts here"

Geologists tell us that much of the Eastern Seaboard, including NJ, was once part of the land mass of the northeastern African coast; that is, the geology of NJ more resembles northeastern Africa than the rest of the US. This is undoubtedly what those signs are referring to.

But a major-league prog like Corzine has major prog cred, and therefore out to be believed.

[microphone off]Yes, Corzine has impeccable limosine-liberal cred; he made millions (maybe billions) of bucks in the quasi-transparent bond market at Goldman Sachs, so to assuage his guilt he left and chose a new life of "service" and bought his way into the job of NJ governor so he could screw up our lives with his great leadership. So he is exactly like every shit-for-brains dickhead in Hollywood who made great fortunes they don't feel they deserve (and the other Wall St and Silicon Valley morons who supported Obama and now are crying in their Chablis because it turns out he really IS a socialist.) FWIW, I have more respect for Micheal Jackson than Corzine; whacko that jacko was, at least he had the decency to just go out and ruin his own life instead of feeling entitled to do so to everyone else's.

.... more likely Sarah Palin, if for no other reason than to send the NYC media nitwits into a psychotic frenzy. Possibly Keith Olbermann's head might even explode. It would be worth the trouble of trying to find MSNBC on the FIOS box just to see that.

For years I had a 6-hour VHS tape of the CBS election returns on November of 1994 when the slimy Slick Willie tanked the Demothieves. I chose CBS because I had a gut feeling that it would be hilarious to watch Dan Rather and it was, it was, it was.

Dan: "Bob [Schieffer and I hope I spelled that right], it seems that the Republicans have picked up a senate seat in Utah."

Dan: "Bob, is there any way that the Democrats can hold onto the senate now?"

Bob: "Well, Dan, if Sakhalin Island joins the United States as five separate states and they all elect Democratic senators, it would keep the Senate in Democratic hands..."

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

One of the lessons that I've learned is always use a DVR. There might be something that will enrich the rest of your life. In 1985 I was watching the Financial News Network, which doesn't exist any more, in bed at 4 AM. The state lotteries were just starting out. A woman in California--enormously fat, and the sort of woman with huge attitude who fluoroscopes your luggage at the airport and takes delight in telling you what to do--had won and she went on stage in front of an audience and spun a vertical Wheel of Fortune. Where the ping-pong ball rested for five seconds was what she got. The reward was from $10,000 to $3M. It landed on $3M and she jumped up and down screaming, "I'm rich! I'm rich" while her bald-headed husband was screaming, "We're rich! We're rich!"

She was so fat that the vibrations from her jumping traveled through the wooden stage and knocked the ping-pong ball from $3M to $10K. The MC said, "Er, Ma'am, the ball didn't stay there five seconds. You got $10,000."

And bear in mind that this woman had grown grossly fat either fluoroscoping your luggage or as a welfare queen with major attitude, and her hand out. It was her fat that did her in.

I knew that the rest of my life would be an anticlimax; nothing would ever top that. I waited for the laughter to start after the shock went away. The announcer on a news program without sports or entertainment said, "It was her exuberance which caused the ball to move."

That was it. The coda which set me off. I laughed. I laughed until I cried. I laughed until my sides hurt. I fell out of bed on my head laughing. I laughed until I literally ran out of tears. It took 15 minutes for me to pull myself up into bed.

And I didn't have a tape or a copy of that.

Be warned: always have a record. That was like having a real space alien give you a lift and you didn't have a camera.

Those are both excellent stories. The election one bears seeing again in 2010 and the lottery one reeks of bitter (for the individual involved) irony. Maybe those two should seek out Pete Best, the original Beatles drummer who was replaced by Ringo Starr, and share fish stories (i.e. "You shoulda seen the one that got away!")

Here is one I heard on the news (when I still bothered watching the news) but didn't capture on tape: in the late 80s or so, a small plane went into the water after takeoff from NYC's LaGuardia airport and a number of passengers died. Two of the dead were a husband and wife team of high-powered lawyers. They had somehow missed or been unable to board an earlier flight so they threw their weight around with the airline and got two other folks bumped off the fatal flight by dint of their VIP status. The anchor dude read this without a tinge of irony in his voice; he was either obtuse or a very good actor. I didn't laugh because I grew up in the Catholic tradition that is was not right to laugh at another's misfortune, no matter how richly deserved. But the irony was palpable.

I didn't laugh because I grew up in the Catholic tradition that is was not right to laugh at another's misfortune, no matter how richly deserved. But the irony was palpable. In one of Miss Manners' books, in the proper 80s, she fielded a question

Dear Miss Manners. I was at a fancy party in Boston and one of the women, a very proper society woman, was walking across the room, and she tripped. She wound up with her face in a bowl of guacamole and one of her breasts fell out of her dress. We had to laugh. What should we have done?

Miss Manners expects you to be polite but she does not expect you to be superhuman. She doubts that there is any sight on earth quite like a Boston Brahmin with guacamole on her face and exposed to the public.

Laugh and enjoy. Laugh and enjoy.

Since I do not believe in an afterlife I figure that I have to get the boot in to bastards whenever I can. Nothing would comfort me more than someone supernatural taking names and kicking ass but I do not have that luxury. So I'm the Texas cowboy here.

I didn't laugh because I grew up in the Catholic tradition that is was not right to laugh at another's misfortune, no matter how richly deserved. But the irony was palpable. In one of Miss Manners' books, in the proper 80s, she fielded a question

Dear Miss Manners. I was at a fancy party in Boston and one of the women, a very proper society woman, was walking across the room, and she tripped. She wound up with her face in a bowl of guacamole and one of her breasts fell out of her dress. We had to laugh. What should we have done?

Miss Manners expects you to be polite but she does not expect you to be superhuman. She doubts that there is any sight on earth quite like a Boston Brahmin with guacamole on her face and exposed to the public.

Laugh and enjoy. Laugh and enjoy.

Since I do not believe in an afterlife I figure that I have to get the boot in to bastards whenever I can. Nothing would comfort me more than someone supernatural taking names and kicking ass but I do not have that luxury. So I'm the Texas cowboy here.

Your story reminds me of a French joke.

A Maitre d' hired an experienced waiter. He said, "Let's see how you do the first night and I will critique you."

That evening a foursome came in, two gentlemen with two ladies dressed in evening gowns.

The waiter was indeed experienced. Everything went smoothly. He poured the wine correctly, he served the plates from the correct side, he cleared the dishes promptly after each course. In fact, he was superb. When a breast of one of the ladies popped out, he quickly took a ladle and popped it right back in with no one even noticing what had happened.

Later, the Maitre d' said: "Very well, done, Monsier. There is only one thing."

Colonel 7.62, we hate to break it to you, but we have greased served The Party(TM) well... and the most upper echelon of The Court of Obama(TM) have approved our offices. We contemplate our concave navel like nats on a flywheel, so we are far more progressive than your minions.

7.62, if RR can deliver necroproxy voters, then that's all well and good. After all, we can't all live in Chicago like His O'liness (PBUH) or in Louisiana like Pupovich. Some times you just can't avoid the tyranny of the ballot box.

My firing squads are not allowed to return until they have worn the rifling of their rifles smooth from redistributing life force. Yes I've filled my quota of mass graves, and delivered new rolls of Necro Voters to ACORN.

Commissar Theocritus, don't forget The People's Republik of Washington. Here we count votes until Queen Christine is happy, and if needed we find new ones in Seattle that somehow got overlooked.

Now we need Diebold to make a joint venture with TelePrompTer to insure correct voting. Since the voting will be correct there is no reason not to vote. We'll just make sure that for the first few elections people will be told whom to vote for and then after that there will be only one candidate.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise