“[I’m due in] two more months … in dog years, so that’s 25. Honestly, because it’s my third, I feel like I’ve been pregnant for like six years, seriously.”

However, time slipped by 18 months ago when daughter Lucille arrived — and her unexpectedly speedy delivery led to a birthing plan neither Rudolph nor Paul Thomas Anderson were prepared for!

“[A homebirth] was not my plan, but that’s what happened … because the baby came out really fast,” Rudolph recalls. “Luckily, she just kind of glided into her father’s arms.”

And although Lucille’s delivery caught Rudolph off-guard, she admits there was something equally as powerful about the situation.

“It was scary, but it was kind of awesome,” she says. “Hospitals make me nervous because I feel like hospital equals death, like it smells like dead people and weird fluids that pickle people.”

But it was not until weeks later that the whole homebirth experience truly came full circle — much to Rudolph’s surprise.

“You have to put the placenta somewhere and I didn’t know it at the time, but someone put it in my freezer,” she laughs. “Then a couple of weeks later I opened the freezer and was like, ‘What is that weird meat?’ Apparently a lot of cultures eat it. I did not do that, so don’t worry, I’m not a weirdo.”

Wow. I thought she’d be due sooner. She looked ready to pop on the mother’s day episode of snl! Poor woman. I’m preggo with #3 as well, I feel like I’ve been preggo for several years as well, LOL!

A.
on May 25th, 2011

Oh my gosh, I love her, she is so funny! I was surprised that she’s not due until July also, but like everyone always says, each pregnancy is different and so is each woman in how she carries. Best of luck to her! 🙂

Sarah S.
on May 25th, 2011

I felt like that also in both my pregnancies (esp. the last one in late summer!) She’s so hilarious!

WoeisShe
on May 25th, 2011

Wow, I feel SO bad for her…..except that I don’t. Being pregnant must be SUCH a BURDEN. My husband and I have struggled with a miscarriage and fertility treatments over the past two years. I have very little sympathy for those who complain about being pregnant – I know it’s tough on your body, but it’s a BLESSING and people shouldn’t take it for granted.

Ava
on May 25th, 2011

WOW Woeisshe…I too have had a difficult time conceiving but I would never throw it in in a pregnant woman’s face. She is making a joke of things, not seriously complaining and crying, though even if she did, she’d have every right. To each her own and everyone deals with pregnancy also.

I know it’s hard to feel these emotions for others when all they talk about is their joy or their annoyances over being pregnant, but you have to remember when your time comes, you’ll be doing the same. I hope no one treats you the way you just treated her.

SophiaA
on May 25th, 2011

She wasn’t complaining….she was JOKING around with Chelsea Handler. Although it’s sad that you have been through such heartache, that does NOT justify your rudeness. If you rather not see stuff like that then don’t get on a baby website. You aren’t the only one that has been through such a hard time…

Andrea
on May 25th, 2011

I don’t think she sees it as a burden, but, I know through experience it ain’t fun!!! I had three babies from start to finish in 3.5 years, my last being born in August. Let me tell you, it was horrendous. I complained with my first, my second and especially my third ( and before you make a snide comment, we planned them THAT close together. ) You’re body is taken over by something that certainly doesn’t feel human until it’s born. You’re moody, sweaty, sick, fat and unattractive. Am I thrilled with my children….absolutely!!! Was it hard getting there here, nope…..was it hard carrying them…..definately

L
on May 25th, 2011

WoeIsShe: she’s a comedian, she’s JOKING! Sorry to hear you are having a hard time conceiving but I don’t think you should take her jokes personally..

Kat
on May 25th, 2011

WoeisShe–My parents struggled with infertility for 8 years. They were in the process of adopting a child from Colombia when my mother got pregnant with me. I nearly died after birth. It was a scary, difficult time for my parents. It’s never really left them and I’m 27 years old. It bothers me to see people take pregnancy and parenthood for granted when so many others struggle with it. But I do NOT think that was what Maya was doing. She was making a joke and she was merely conveying what she’s been going through. She has a right to do that. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with fertility and I do wish you the best but I think that it’s unfair to attack someone for doing what she has the right to do and say.

Halley
on May 25th, 2011

WoeIsShe, I am sorry you have been through such a rough time. It must feel really bad to hear pregnant women “complain” even when they are only joking. I’m sorry that you are going through infertility. There’s very few things in the world that feel worse than not being pregnant when you want to be. I will definitely pray that your baby finds his or her way to you soon!

As for Maya, I am in the same boat as she is, due in July, and the last bit of pregnancy DOES feel like it takes forever. I am so ready to meet my son!! And I wouldnt mind a quick delivery like Maya’s either!!

Anne
on May 25th, 2011

Woeisshe – This actress is clearly joking. You sound incredibly immature by criticizing a celebrity who you don’t know personally on a public forum. Way to take away from the point of this blog post. By complaining about your own personal issues, you sound like you are asking for sympathy and a place to complain. Maybe you should grow up before you have children.

Emmy
on May 25th, 2011

Well, I am 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow and let me tell you. I have sciatic nerve pain and I complain about it. I have pelvic pain and I complain about it. I get unbelievably hot and have to blast the a/c and freeze my husband and daughter to death and I complain about it. The fact of the matter is, pregnancy is NOT the easiest thing for every woman to go through. We can’t all be Gisele Bundchen and talk about just how easy breezy being pregnant and birth is.

@WoeisShe, I think it’s very sad that you are struggling with infertility, but there are women who struggle through their pregnancies and you shouldn’t let your jealousy allow your mouth to run off with your judgments. Particularly when the woman is speaking in jest.

Sam
on May 25th, 2011

@WoeisShe – I too have struggled with infertility, two miscarriages, and a full term stillbirth. I get where you’re coming from, but she was CLEARLY making a joke – that’s what she does!

It hurts to see people getting pregnant while you can’t – trust me, I’ve been there and it was a horrible, painful time in my life. But I’ve also since been able to have healthy children and I know how she feels.

After everything I went through to get to that point in my pregnancy, I was still miserable. Blessed, obviously, but miserable.

The last few weeks aren’t fun and it’s easy to take that time for granted. You just get to that point where all you want is for the baby to be out and in your arms – hoping and praying that you will get to experience that feeling soon.

Amanda
on May 25th, 2011

I can SO relate! I’m pregnant with my 4th, due at the end of this summer. I am very excited for this baby, but I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever. For as much as people like to make you feel bad about it pregnancy is not enjoyable for everyone.

I absolutely love the newborn stage…the infant stage, the toddler stage, the preschooler stage, the little kid stage, the big kid stage….but I am NOT a fan of pregnancy and I don’t feel even a tiny bit bad for it. I don’t have kids because I like being pregnant or want a cute little baby to parade around, I do it because I enjoy parenting my children.

JMO
on May 25th, 2011

PINK must feel like she’s in the same boat 🙂

Amanda k
on May 25th, 2011

Wow, there’s a lot of catty women on this site. Way to pass judgement on someone struggling with fertility over a comment. Why can’t you just focus on the story rather than jump on someone who is struggling with fertility? I too know the pain very well and at times, you do take comments personally even though they are not meant that way. Exactly why most of my friends are men, because women never seem to have each others back.

amsjll
on May 25th, 2011

My pregnancies both felt like they were 25 months long. I had terrible problems with my first, not going to bother you all with the list but overall it was a terribly painful expirience, to the point that I NEVER planned to do it again. And then 2 years later I did it again anyway, by my own choice. And I went a lousy 5 months not being able to get that way after it happening on the first try with my first child. Do I know what it feels like to go years not being able to conceive? No. But I do know what it feels like to cry every month. My mother got pregnant with my brother the very first try, and then I took 6 years to conceive. I wasnt conceived until they gave up and turned to adoption from Korea. Suddenly I was on the way!

Do I still complain about my pregnancies, you bet. The second was not horrible like the first, but I still counted the days. (Really, I had a countdown from early in the second trimester both times.) Does this mean I am somehow, in any way, ungrateful I was able to conceive easily and had healthy babies? NO! Every day I look at them and am grateful for them, and have frequently wondered why we were so blessed to be able to have them. Maya is joking, as everyone said. I am entirely serious though. Pregnancy is not a joy for all- I did it for the end result and wish the same for you.

Sage
on May 25th, 2011

Amanda K- Just because someone is struggling with infertility that doesn’t mean we can’t disagree with them. It doesn’t give someone the right to be rude and take offense to every single thing someone says,which seems like your problem.

Look at the responses no one was passing judgment but just pointing another view point. It has nothing to do with women not having each others backs because some posters did have Maya’s back.

Debbie
on May 25th, 2011

Congrats to Maya on the upcoming birth of her third child. It is just sad that her mom Minnie Riperton Rudolph isnt alive to see her grandchildren and see how beautiful her daughter has grown up to be. I know she is looking down from heaven watching and very proud of Maya’s successes in her personal life and her career.

Katie
on May 25th, 2011

Agreed, Amanda K. Agreed. Ladies, knock off the critique. This is People.com for goodness sake! Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Just leave the lady alone. We all have our down moments. Would *you* want to be kicked when *you* are down??

Lauren
on May 25th, 2011

That’s so funny, because Natalie Portman actually IS twenty five months pregnant. 🙂

Elena
on May 25th, 2011

WoeisShe – you have every right to feel anger and resentment. Interesting that every person who sort of supported you also has been pregnant and given birth. Yes she is joking but to those of us who try and try and are disappointed month after month, year after year, all we feel is sadness and wistfulness. So all of you telling her to get over it – shame on you.

ecl
on May 25th, 2011

I love the idea that men somehow have women’s backs more than women do. I agree that women cut each other down way too much, but men? If men had women’s backs there wouldn’t be gender inequality, or rape, or spousal abuse, etc.

marge
on May 26th, 2011

I agree she is joking as well, but even if she wasn’t joking it wouldn’t matter. Not all women have good situations financially, maritally, health wise and enjoy being pregnant. That is OK. I think sensitivity is a 2 way street and that we should not expect others to walk around tip toed to experience life as they see it. If someone is callous that is one thing. Aren’t we just as insensitive to feel everyone should feel the way we do about everything….?

Angus
on May 26th, 2011

I have 4 kids and my third pregnancy was the worst, even my friends and their husbands were glad when that kid was born, and yet we had another. I’ve also had two miscarriages. But guess what? No one persons pain is worse than anothers, there simply is no hierarchy to pain.

I know a couple who had a perfect check up at 38 weeks and at 39, no heart beat. Guess what? She went on to have a perfectly healthy baby. Another friend delivered a baby at 30 weeks who only lived 36 minutes due to the massive cancerous growth that had grown in his tiny little body.

I’ve never, not once!, heard either of those good friends berate another woman for being uncomfortable in her pregnancy.

I also know enough women that do struggle with infertility to have heard woe is me ad nauseum.

Guess what? Back to the no pain hierarchy, my fil has burried two sons and a wife, a kid my husbands age (in grade 5) tore up one of those graves. And yet he put on his big girl panties and carried on.

If I ever get pregnant, I will try to avoid the summer months. It just seems that much more miserable at the end. Good luck, Maya! Somebody get that woman some ice chips…

@ Katie: No, but I also try not to set myself up either. We feel for WoeIsShe, but it is rather mystifying why she’d come out, criticize Maya Rudolph for joking about her pregnancy (really, due in July? hot as Hades) when she could really avoid the whole “mother and babies” section of People. It just doesn’t make any sense.

On the other hand – BUT NOT to condone – it’s probably easier for her to come here and criticize someone she doesn’t know and will never meet because doing the same to her community would be disastrous. WoeIsShe probably has prego friends, neighbors and/or siblings and cannot get her jealousy and anger at them and the injustice of it all off her chest and this is an easy way to vent.

Kelly
on May 26th, 2011

Sage – I think it was more passing judgment as well as another viewpoint. I think it went both ways. People were judging her AND giving their own opinion.

Ava – I agree with your last couple of sentences. Very well put together! 🙂

Congrats to Maya! I hope she has a healthy baby and smooth delivery!

Olivia
on May 26th, 2011

I love Maya Rudolph, she is so incredibly funny.

constance
on May 26th, 2011

Why do women bvash others if they have an easy pregnancy? SOME WOMEN DO! have an easy and low pain pregnancy. Don’t hate them for it, geeez. If Gisele Bundchen had an easy going pregancy good for her. She did lots of yoga which is known to alleviate pain.

Cecelia
on May 26th, 2011

As someone who has experienced infertility, I sympathize with those posters who are enduring such a difficult time and I wish you nothing but the best in the future. That said, perhaps a site dedicated to celebrities and their children is not for you if you are going to criticize a joke that a comedian has made. Pregnancy isn’t always rainbows and sunshine but by admitting the truth, it doesn’t mean women aren’t grateful for the children that they have as a result.

Then again, knowing the tone set by some of the people on this site, they’d ream her over the coals if she said she had a wonderful, carefree pregnancy.

Coraline
on May 26th, 2011

Wow, I can’t believe morons like Amanda K are standing up for that bitch. WoeisShe, I hope you never have children because you are so catty and nasty you’d be a terrible, awful mother. You totally deserve everything life has thrown at you.

isabella
on May 26th, 2011

Coraline ,nasty peice of work just vile

Kira
on May 27th, 2011

@Woeis: I am sorry for your struggles, but she was obviously joking. Chelsea Lately is a show where you are funny and say outrageous things.

Maya Rudolph is so funny. I wish she would write a preganancy book (this is her third child, so I know she would have some valuable info to share and it would be hilarious – kind of like the Jenny McCarthy books).

When pregnant I remember being exhausted most of the time and having a very bad memory. The last two months seem to be the longest. It’s like you can see the finish line, but it moves further and further away as you waddle toward it. LOL. All of the exhaustion, indegestion, nausea, moodiness, weight gain, being uncomfortable, and just feeling blah all the time is so worth it when you first look into the eyes of your baby. I have zero regrets. 🙂

Saralee
on May 27th, 2011

Agree, Amanda K and Katie! People get SO worked up on these comment boards when someone has something critical to say about these stories. It’s like you all think you’re Maya Rudolph’s personal friend and need to defend her from the evil WoeIsShe!

Newsflash, Maya Rudolph won’t read this comment board, and if by some off chance she did, she’s a Hollywood celebrity AND a female comedian, which isn’t the easiest business. I imagine she has pretty thick skin and won’t get worked up about some stranger’s comment, so you don’t need to on her behalf.

Scarlet
on May 27th, 2011

Ladies focus on the positive. This whole article has nothing to do with fertility or not. So why does someone with fertility issues,

I feel awful for you and wish you the best, but why do you have to let the world know your problems,when no one on the blog can fix it. If you need moral support go to a website for those issues.

I’m the mother of one and time did stand still when I was pregnant . It was a real difficult pregnancy and it made me have new respect for the Female body. I still found it to be a miracle and never took it for granted. Humor does help the process a lot.

AmandaK
on May 30th, 2011

Coraline,to actually say to someone you don’t even know that they don’t deserve to be a mother and deserve what they get is pathetic. Your own life must be really shitty for you to have to post something like that. FYI, I’m NOT a moron but I can tell that YOU most certainly ARE. Cheers 🙂