This game controller will give you better orgasms

Skea is a new kind of game controller which utilises your pelvic floor muscles to control an endless runner game – essentially, every time you do a kegel, your character jumps.

In case you’re a bit sheltered I’ll make it a bit more clear: this is a Bluetooth mobile controller that you place inside your vagina, like a tampon, and squeeze.

Why would you want to do this? Because squeezing those muscles – an endeavour commonly known as a kegel exercise – is the best way to condition them.

In this sedentary age, a ridiculous percentage of humans have underdeveloped pelvic floor muscles, and getting them into shape has two major effects. First, it staves off incontinence, helping you retain bladder control as you age.

Second, it gives you longer. Better. More mind-blowing orgasms. There is no downside to this.

Both men and women can perform kegel exercises to reap the benefits, but even though there’s a lot of motivation to do so and the exercises take very little effort, it’s super boring and hardly anybody actually does.

Enter the Skea, which is aimed at making the experience a bit more entertaining. Have I mentioned it vibrates every time you nail (nail! *high fives self*) a jump? This is a perfect idea and I can’t believe nobody’s had it before. It’s just a shame there’s no equivalent for gamers without a vagina.

The Skea is currently seeking $38,000 on Kickstarter and I suggest we all throw our money at it. Buy one for everyone you know with a vagina.

Aside: I’d like to share with you this deleted line from the first draft of this article, which relates to how long I’ve had this lead on my to-do list: As it happens, I’ve been sitting on this for almost 24 hours.