Here's the scene at a rest stop in the desert of middle of nowhere California...

The question? Is it more respectable to get caught waiting in this line? Or to get caught pants down springing a leak amongst the tumbleweeds? I've got to say, I absolutely judge you as a person if you stand in this line. Given women's awful facilitation of time when it comes to personal grooming that Mom in the back probably still hasn't gone to the bathroom yet, and we're a good 20+ hours after the fact.

I'll admit it's totally a double standard, but this is how I view life. If I do something that, as a man, I find unpleasant, it's downright shameful for a woman to do it. Make no mistake, going to the bathroom at a rest stop is one of those things. Every time I go cheek to seat at a rest stop I am surprised I don't end up pregnant or contracting chlamydia. It's simply one of the most despicable experiences in life. To wait in line to do it? That's like publicly shaming yourself. I know there is a social stigma attached to women peeing in public, but it it's a risk you have to take if the alternative is waiting in this line. I'm not even contemplating the possibility that any of these women are unloading. Girls don't poop, that's just a scientific fact. Have you ever seen one do it? I have hung around a large quantity of women and never experienced the phenomenon. As far as I am concerned women pooping is as likely as unicorns pooping. On the off chance that they do, they are certainly pretty subtle about it. This bathroom line is about as subtle as Kanye West at an Amish community. Shit, it's as subtle as Kanye West pretty much anywhere.

If a woman I was traveling with even suggested that she planned on waiting on this line, I would either dump her on spot without alerting an Uber, or drive her to a secluded location and give her the shirt off my back to wipe. Any women that would wait in a bathroom line at a rest stop is simply off limits when it comes to courtship. This entire situation is just another reminder that being born with a penis, and thus an eternal pass to whip it out whenever nature calls, is a blessing.

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