Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Rant

Kiddies - This is how it's supposed to work:

You dress up in a costume and ring my door bell. I open the door. You yell, "Trick or Treat". I reach into my basket of goodies and give you a treat. You then say, "Thank You" and go terrorize the next house.

You DO NOT demand that I give you specific things from my basket of treats. I give you whatever random treat I happen to touch. However, if you ask politely for a specific item, I will endeavor to meet your request with a smile. For the rest of your life, you will wonder why doors keep getting shut in your face. It will be because you never learned to be polite as a child and were brought up thinking you were entitled to certain things just because you exist.

Adults - The gathering at my house is a family gathering that includes children of all ages. We do not live on Bourbon Street nor is it an adults only party. We do not appreciate the fact that you arrive, as a guest of the family, dressed as a Hooker Cop. The fact that you had your offspring dressed in prison jumpsuits was just plain weird. Rest assured, you will be a topic of conversation at least until Thanksgiving.

Also, we do not run a baby sitting service. My wife and I have other guests to entertain. Please supervise your own children. See to it that they get some food, something to drink and then enjoy a trick or treat through the neighborhood. If you were going to ignore them, why did you bring them?