Ahh, mail! How I missed it. The funny thing is, I kind of liked not getting
much mail. I spent less time sorting and deciding what to print, so I was
able to blow a good half hour poking around for information on something
as trivial as "What was Blast Processing?"
Maybe I'll whip up a FAQ on what not to submit. You know, like release date
questions. It's like, "Hey man, we have a release date list, consarnit!"
Well, that's enough of that. Enjoy.

"Will they fix the 'cannot revive General Leo' bug?"

This is just a quick question:

In FFC (FFVI) do you know if they are going to fix Relm's SKETCH/CONTROL
command? Also, are they going to fix the "singing" at the Opera House?

Not all the Final Fantasy VI carts contained the bug, so unless someone
at Square was really fond of Nyquil the night they selected
which version to convert, it'll be perfectly safe to sketch enemies in
the collection.

And just what do ya mean "fix"? I thought, and still do, that the opera
scene kicked arse, be it visually or, er, audioally. What do you want
Square to do? Have Faye Fong Wong sing "My Heart Will Go On*"? Sheesh.

Yuppie gamers

Hey, do you know where on earth I could find the stock quote for Square??
I can't find it ANYWHERE!! Is it owned by another company, or under a
different name or something?

- Arakin

I searched far and wide, but couldn't find it. This is a job for... someone
else. Like business savvy readers. Well, business savvy readers? I'm waiting.

Personafied

Haha...well Thor, after reading your groovy little Q & A page I am
thrilled to see your sense of sarcasm never fails and hasn't faultered.

Yeah, well... um.... uh. Good Lord, you jinxed me! Thanks a bunch.

Anyway, just so this letter has some sort of importance, I noticed
that Persona does not appear on the games page. Persona 2(preview) is
there... but no Persona... Hmm...

The reason I ask is because I just found out the damn game exists and
was released at the end of 1996 and I've never played it! *gasp* An RPG I
haven't played...doh! And not only that, it seems to be discontinued. Oh
well... got any info for me? A short opinion or something?

This isn't first hand since I've yet to
have the pleasure of playing Persona, but here goes: Persona is set in the
modern world. Dungeon exploration is from the first person perspective,
a la Ultima. (Read: Doom-esuqe 3d engine.) The combat is often and difficult,
yet nicely complex so it's not just "Hit X; repeat". Kinda Final Fantasy
Tactics. Persona is not an "oldschool" RPG -- nor is it "newbie friendly".
But for $25, a used Persona disc is still a good buy.

Thanks,
Oh...by the way... what's the deal with Lunar: SSSC being delayed so
many flippin' times..? Do you know what they are working on? What
changes is triggering this half a year long delay from the original
schedule?

- Ari

What Working Designs strives for: Perfection. You know how we all whined
and moaned about Final Fantasy Tactics' translation? And all agreed we
wish they had waited just a few months to make things nice and coherent?
And how everyone called Square all sorts of colorful names because they
were "money hungry" and released Final Fantasy Tactics before it was
ready? Well then, lets not bother Working Designs about taking their
time and enjoy the wait. :D

Hey, about the really long summons (FFVII, VIII)... in the demo of
Shadow Madness, the kickass FMV summon could be skipped at any time by
pressing start. I really really liked that feature...

Awesome. I guess that proves Crave wasn't interested in simply "cloning"
Final Fantasy VII, they wanted to refine it. Hopefully, Square will add
something like it in Final Fantasy VIII before the American release. You
know, kind of like how they added the giant Mickey Mouse hand to help us
through the confusing dungeons. Poor Japan, they're really more of an
island of beta testers than a country...

By the way, remember
"Super Nova" from FFVII? Ugh...

Hey, I liked Super Nova. I didn't even mind how long it took: The spell was awe
inspiring, and that's the effect they were going for. It was more of an
in-battle FMV scene than your average player-controlled-summon spell.
My only gripe was Sephiroth could cast it multiple times. Once was enough, ya know?
It'd be like showing instant replays of Aerith getting stabbed by Sephiroth,
with closeups and commentary from Tony Schivoni and Jerry Lawler.

The old and the easily offended

How could you Don't you know kids read your Ask Thor And you post PORN
sites for them to look at? Its easy enough for them to get their hands on
it as it is WITHOUT video game site posting it also PLEASE do not do that
again for our childrens sake

- Acend

Oh, look. I'm all out of bubblegum. <ahem>

I made it quite clear that it was a porn site. So unless the
sacred, pure and innocent children don't know what the term "porn" means,
they won't accidently click the link, accidently not read the huge disclaimer,
and accidently click "ENTER", thus accessing free porn. (Or not. I don't
know, I've never had the inclination to forge past the intro page. They
probably charge before showing you anything.)
Point is, it'd be impossible for anyone who was not interested in smut to
be harmed by the link.

With that out of the way, the only kids who would progress past
the intro page have already viewed porn -- most likely nightly, in fact. It's as
simple as going to Yahoo and
typing "porn". You'll get like 90,000 matches. It's hilarious. Try it --
if you're of legal age, of course. Heh heh.

10-10-999

I was wondering if you've noticed a little difference in most RPGs.
Some RPGs, like FF6 and FF7 have a max HP limit on PCs of 9999 while
other game like FFT and Xenogears have only 999 (out of gears anyway). Now
the obvious part is that this is done on purpose to show relative degrees
of power. For instance, FF7 characters are stronger than FFT's. This
makes sense because the theme of the games differ greatly: FFT focuses on
the realism and tactics of battles while FF7 goes all out with special
effects. In Xenogears, the max 999HPs of the characters seperate them
from the power (99,999HPs) of their gear counterparts.

But the important thing to note is that there really isn't any
difference gameplay wise. For instance, enemy difficulty can be
regulated by relativity. eg, a monster doing 900 damage to a character
with 9999 is the same as 90 damage to a character with a max of 999HPs. Of
course, you can be much more accurate with 9999HPs (eg. 988 damage points
on 9999HP PCs versus 98 or 99 damage points but who really cares about an
extra eight points if you have 9999 total HPs, right?).

So why choose between one and the other? I was gonna argue that
developers limit the HPs to harken back to those Dragon Warrior and FF1
days, but given that today's RPGs are nothing of that sort, I'd have to
say that all it is, is one more cosmetic on the face of gaming.

That it is. The only reason I can think of is that Square wanted to impress
you with huge amounts of damage in Final Fantasy VII, but never had
reason in Final Fantasy Tactics. It's just for awe-factor. Thanks for the
interesting question, though. It was a fun read.

Personally, I like low amounts of damage. I never was too keen on doing 300+
damage to enemies fifteen minutes into a game. I mean, if you're going to go
from 1-9999, why not spend a little time below the hundreds, at least in the
beginning of the game?

Tee hee!

Uh, since each recent Final Fantasy seems to lose a little gameplay and
have more movie, I realized the FF movie is actually FF X. It will have
become completely movie, yo.

Just to get a few things straight, Thor. I'm 16. I've never had a
girlfriend. I'm addicted to video games, Anime, and Taco Bell. My favorite
game is Xenogears. Brigandine pulls a close second. I've been playing
video games since I was 6. Girls hate me. Is there something wrong with
me? (Please, no smart-ass answers. I figured I'd ask you 'cuz you're damn
smart and you're a fellow gamer).

- Jeff

I don't know you, so I can't really say. I can make a few guesses, though.
And while they may sound smartass, I'm being totally serious here. Well,
except for item three. And five. Oh, just read it.

You're unattractive. Women, while not as obsessed over looks (aside from
theirs) as us guys, but they still care if you make Ultros look hot.

You don't try hard enough. Dating takes a good chunk out of your free
time (not to mention your wallet). You have to work on the art of wooing
a girl. Maybe you come off as too shy, maybe
you're hitting on girls out of your league, or maybe you should try to
get out more and meet new types of people.

Your school is filled with nothing but lesbians. Flee at once!

You're looking at women only as prospective mates rather than friends.
I really can't stand having a girlfriend. I prefer a close friend who doesn't
mind a little romance thrown in. Or a lot of sex. Whichever.

You're Hitler. Nobody likes Hitler.

I hope this helps. Just remember: You're young. I'm young. At our age, we should
date for fun and experience, as forging a lifelong relationship while we still
think Saturday morning cartons are "cool" is pretty difficult. If for some reason we can't
score a significant other, don't worry about it.
You'll find Mrs. Right someday. Heck, I'll probably get a few letters from
"RPGirls" who're dying to get your e-mail address. Well, as soon as you stop being Hitler.

Wondering where babies come from?

Ask Thor(Give him a mint cookie and your chances of being printed are raised 7.25%)

Now Playing

Xenogears(I like this game. Every minute of it. All 73,000,000 of them.)

That's COLLEAGUES, not colleges. How many shots of rum is that? Hell,
I'll take them if you don't want to take them.
- Jeff Copperthite

Actually it's a spellchecker attack. You know, I think my typos were worse when
I didn't use the blasted thing. At least then, you got a general idea of what
I was trying to convey. Maybe I should hire a proofreader...

Square did announce a release date, although it was
kind of broad. But they said it'll be out from Fall through Winter 1999 in US.
- Dan GC

Thanks, Dan. What I meant to say was no exact release date. Honest!

I like Wild ARMs. What therapist do you recommend?
- A.E.Isthill

Dr. Kavorkian.

Several readers pointed out Steampunk games, none of which made it to America,
including Baroque for the Saturn and Wachenroder, also for Saturn. Unless
they're the same game. One reader even suggested FF7's Midgar was Steampunk...

Er, no.
The neon signs, computers and evil corporations just screamed cyberpunk.
Alas, the closest we'll get to -- wait a minute! Final Fantasy 6! They even
mention steam in the intro! Huzzah! It really is the best RPG of all time.

I think it's time for you to take another vacation. Where, you may ask?
Beverly Hills. Teri Hatcher is starring in a new production of the musical
"Cabaret" in Beverly Hill's own Wilshire Theatre. I quote, "There is a great
deal of sexual activity in this production." That's what this reviewer in
the newspaper says.
- Guildenstern

Be right back. I left the Ter -- er, oven on.

Thor Stuff

I've changed my style somewhat. No, really. It happened over vacation. I'm
not sure why, it just did. Go back and read some of my older coumns if you
don't believe me.

For one, I smile a lot less. I don't know why. I'm perfectly happy, it just
doesn't seem... right with this new redesign.

For another, I spend more time with answers, and print fewer questions. I
figure I can quickly answer things in Quickies, so why not just print
the cream of the crop and mass-Q&A at the end of the column?

Anyways, I'm off to play Xenogears. Hope you found todays column funny -- I
sure as Hades did.