A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean,
And ram was the cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend.
A gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things,
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a three-inch floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public,
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut, you did with a pocket knife.
Paste, you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home.
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
-- author unknown

Tiger Jones

28-Oct-06, 15:11

That's a beaut and illustrates how language gets hijacked. I mean adapted :cool:

Kingetter

28-Oct-06, 15:15

Yes, and at times, it makes one http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i102/OpenandShut/Fun/01EF9B257E123.gif

Billy Boy

28-Oct-06, 19:33

Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong.
I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong.
I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.
You know, their will be peeple who see nothing rong in that.

Colin Manson

28-Oct-06, 19:55

Same Computer Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283)

And again Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12012) Also see the same spell checker joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283&page=2#post64078) on the second page

And another copy here (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=15349#post141966)

Are we fixed in an endless loop of cut & paste?

wifie

28-Oct-06, 19:59

My children look amazed when I tell them that when I was in 6th Year at Thurso High we fund raised for the school's first computer. They are in a quite small village school and have pcs and laptops in every classroom and two rooms even have fixed smart boards. Crikey I even remember having to go outside in primary and bash the chalk out of the dusters! Changed days!

Ann

28-Oct-06, 21:16

Crikey, you must be as young as me them! You'll remember the slate and slate pencils then or is that pushing it?;)

Kingetter

28-Oct-06, 21:18

Crikey, you must be as young as me them! You'll remember the slate and slate pencils then or is that pushing it?;)

Much worse than that - papyrus!

Ann

28-Oct-06, 21:18

Same Computer Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283)

And again Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12012) Also see the same spell checker joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283&page=2#post64078) on the second page

And another copy here (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=15349#post141966)

Are we fixed in an endless loop of cut & paste?

Colin, it's our age you know; it's alright for you young ones ;)

golach

28-Oct-06, 21:24

Crikey, you must be as young as me them! You'll remember the slate and slate pencils then or is that pushing it?;)Hey watch it Ann!!!! ......I started school at West Public with a slate and slate pencils, nothing wrong with me, and I'm not pushing it, I'm running away from it [lol]

connieb19

28-Oct-06, 21:26

My children look amazed when I tell them that when I was in 6th Year at Thurso High we fund raised for the school's first computer. They are in a quite small village school and have pcs and laptops in every classroom and two rooms even have fixed smart boards. Crikey I even remember having to go outside in primary and bash the chalk out of the dusters! Changed days!What's a smart board? I've never heard of it. :confused

Cedric Farthsbottom III

28-Oct-06, 22:17

Same Computer Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283)

And again Joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12012) Also see the same spell checker joke (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=7283&page=2#post64078) on the second page

And another copy here (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=15349#post141966)

Are we fixed in an endless loop of cut & paste?

Somebody got oot the wrong side o' the bed this mornin':lol: :lol:

young_fishin_neep

28-Oct-06, 22:29

What's a smart board? I've never heard of it. :confused

a smart bord is lke a white bord on the wall that the computer projects to and you use a special pen that writes on the computer from the board, its rather technical lol

kaz xx

connieb19

28-Oct-06, 22:31

a smart bord is lke a white bord on the wall that the computer projects to and you use a special pen that writes on the computer from the board, its rather technical lol

kaz xxCheers Kaz, sounds a bit too technical for me though. :)

young_fishin_neep

28-Oct-06, 22:35

Cheers Kaz, sounds a bit too technical for me though. :)

they are great inventions lol no white board cleaning and squeeky pens. they are hard to explain, realy technical so i dont blame you if u dont understand them cuz i dont lol

kaz xxx

connieb19

28-Oct-06, 22:38

they are great inventions lol no white board cleaning and squeeky pens. they are hard to explain, realy technical so i dont blame you if u dont understand them cuz i dont lol

kaz xxx:eek: What happened to the blackboard and chalk?

young_fishin_neep

28-Oct-06, 22:48

we still have them aswell, but most classrooms have either whiteboard and smart board or blackboard and smart board

kaz xx

Kingetter

28-Oct-06, 22:48

Not healthy?

scorrie

29-Oct-06, 00:49

Somebody got oot the wrong side o' the bed this mornin':lol: :lol:

Maybe, but a bit of fresh meat to the market would not go amiss. There is a lot of tired, reheated internet junk food causing indigestion to the more discerning palate.

ps A Smart Board is a group of people who do not think that ASDA is automatically a good thing in every area ;o)

Ann

29-Oct-06, 00:49

Hey watch it Ann!!!! ......I started school at West Public with a slate and slate pencils, nothing wrong with me, and I'm not pushing it, I'm running away from it [lol]
Can you run that fast? :lol: