Five Alternative Uses For Your Worthless Seat Pad

It's still July, barely, which means stories like Michigan banning seat pads from the Big House — while season ticket holders, as if they haven't dropped enough dough, are provided the option to leasean official Wolverine Seat for $35 per season — still move the needle around these parts. Like many of you, I've owned an officially licensed U-M seat cushion, but not the AD-approved permanent rental, and used it at games for years. Those are now worthless, right?

A kneeling pad with a handle? This is innovation, not a blatant money-grab. American ingenuity at its finest. In that vein, we crowdsourced some ideas for alternative uses for these totally useful hunks of branded foam.

NON-AERODYNAMIC FRISBEE

Looking for something to toss around the Diag? Look no more! The handle provides an easy grip for throwing, and the soft foam interior ensures that nobody's hurt when your toss inevitably lands nowhere near your intended target.

EMERGENCY FLOATATION DEVICE

Why are these women so happy to be jumping out of a doomed plane? With their officially-licensed floatation devices, they know that as long as they survive the impact with that large, rapidly-approaching body of water, they'll be floating in style while waiting for the Coast Guard.

[HT: BiSB and @MikeSmuz]

OVERSIZED EARMUFFS

Dave Brandon himself was kind enough to model the latest in Michigan-branded winter fashion. Perfect for staying warm during November football games or going incognito when the fanbase finally turns against you in full, penniless force.

throwing bonanza at the 1989 Rose Bowl. They made the questionable decision to pass out free seat cushions to people with some sort of advertising message (may have been Sprite but I can't remember). By later in the game, there were tons of them being winged around the stadium like big, square frisbees. I saved mine, but finally got rid of it a few years ago when it got damaged somehow. Those were the days. Now it costs $35 per year.

My wife was taking a video of that on her phone, and you can hear me saying "that's going to get knocked out of your hands" the instant before a flying cushion knocks it out of her hands and the phone hits the ground. Which makes it even more memorable for me since I have a video of an "I told you so" moment.

We get the lease cushions to reserve our spot. We are seats 1&2, so in the middle between aisles, and get squished from both directions. This allows us to actually have a place to sit during the higher profile games.

@UM2k1 - totally agree. Leasing the seat cushions is primarily about space over comfort. And I even sit on an aisle. But I no longer have to sit with my left cheek off the end of the bench. Great to have that placeholder in place all the time. I mean, they're not even that comfortable. (Well, not until my fat ass squishes it down some anyway.)

In and of itself, the seat cushion thing isn't a big deal. But in the big picture, it's yet another example of the AD nickel and diming paying customers by making going to games slightly less convenient for a portion of the crowd unless they fork over even more money. If you buy into the concept of the ticket pricing/attendence bubble, this is yet another reason to just stay home and watch the game on your (cushioned) couch.

That's a nice thought but no sports team is going to do that in this day and age, for the same reason that they don't allow fans to bring in their own food - they're not going to undercut their own profit margins.

I'm actually surprised fans were even allowed to bring in cushions as late as last season - I had no idea. It seems like most people made the switch when it was still volontary (probably for the same reason described above - it helps mark your territory).

I know the MDens in the stadium sold these in years past, and I wonder if that will continue. As you know, you can not bring them into the stadium, but much like bags, they may be sold in the stadium. Just have to buy a new one each game or lease one.

This is exactly what I was thinking. At first, I thought that I've never owned a seat pad. The I realized I don't need one because I don't sit down for more than a couple minutes between quarters or during TV timeouts.

Holy crap, that MDen screenshot is real! I was totally expecting it to have been photoshopped like the rest of the pics. (They were photoshopped, right? Or are there really two people falling out of the sky with officially liscensed UM seat cushions?)

Guess I'm the only one who cares. I'm barely 40 and in decent shape, and I do spend a good deal of time standing during the game but I love my seat pad. It's official M-den, not the giant 1974 version the blue hairs carry.

In the cold games it keeps my butt warm; during the 7 minute version of the thirty second timeout it keeps my back from aching, in general it serves a purpose.

$35 won't break my bank but when I saw this I was pissed. I voluntarily fork out thousands of dollars to enjoy 7 or 8 football games per year and travel to 3 or 4 away games each year to support Michigan. I love it and it's part of what defines me. Instead of banning seat pads, make the game day better by banning selling tickets to Spartans, Buckeyes, and Cornhuskers but leave me and my ass cushion alone.

If paying $35 isn't an issue, you should do it. The U-M seat pads are much thicker than the ones you can buy, and you don't have the hassle of carrying them around town. Most importantly, they protect your seat's territory, since they can't slide around. I've gotten much more "buttroom" since I started getting the seat cushion.

If it's any consolation (or if you see this) you should be able to get an exemption from the AD if you send in a doctor's note (assuming you aren't a season ticket holder). They'll send you a letter that you show when you go through the gate that will allow you to take in a seat cushion. That's how I know someone takes in a seatback into Michigan Stadium.

I too am 40 and attend all home games and several road games each season. I love to have the seat cushion not only because it fills my given bench space, but it also aids in comfort when we do hit the sitting stages of the games. I already shell out enough for tickets and the right to buy tickets (aka "donation"); why should I be expected to pay $70 each season for seat cushions when I can pay $34 plus tax and uses them for many seasons to come? That money adds up after a decade. It just seems like easy way for Brandon to make additional money. How harmful is a non-zippered seat cushion coming into the stadium from the outside? You can do more with an electronic device like a cell phone or radio if you desire to cause harm to a great number of people, yet they are still allowed. Beside, I hate those seat cushions anyway; thay are too thick and make climbing up the benches harder when the aisles are crowded at the conclusion of a close game.

What seems incredibly unclear at this point is what the money-grab is for the single game ticket holders and visitors? Have they invented some kind of disposable seat cushion that they'll sell inside the stadium? Will they sell these "permanent" seat cushions on an individual game basis?

Sure, they're getting some extra money from season ticket holders, but they're missing out on the single gamers.

but I checked the website yesterday and under Gameday Prohibited Items it is listed as ALL Seat Cushions and Seatbacks and the top of the page says it is updated for the 2013 season. I would be more inclined to go with the website, since the guides were printed who knows how long ago. I'm guessing that this will not be announced until after today when the price for the permanent seat cushions goes from $35 to $42 a seat. I also agree with the fact that what do non-season ticket holders do for a seat cushion. Doesn't seem fair.