Hey you angsty little jerk, listen up! If you can stop rolling your eyes and cut the whole brooding thing for like 10 seconds, I have something very important to tell you: CUT YOUR HAIR. I don't say this as some out-of-touch baby boomer threatened by the slightest tinge of change, but rather someone concerned with preventing a lazy eye epidemic.

While your asymmetric haircut might Doctors in Australia say that it also blocks the view of one of your eyes to the point that it stops focusing and effectively atrophies.

Optometrists Association of Tasmania education director Andrew Hogan warned that amblyopia, the medical term for lazy eye, can result from obstructed vision caused by hair.

"If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail," he said. "And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic."

And to top it all off, the Mercury also says you spend so much time tilting your head sideways just to see anything that it's totally fucking your posture up. You are not a bird. Your body is not meant to do that. Stop it. So unless you want to end up looking like the bastard child of Forrest Whittaker and Quasimodo, I suggest you listen to the nice Tasmanian doctor. [The Mercury via Brendan Koerner]