Bitter News, 2-24-10

 Stephen Colbert has a new rivalry with NBC this Olympic season. And after sitting down with Bob Costas on his nemesis network and acting up by trying to throw himself into their fake fire, he had so ask himself: Could I get sued for my version of “Olympic coverage?” So who better to bounce the question off than Colbert’s own brother, Kenyon & Kenyon attorney Ed Colbert who “represented the U.S. Olympic Committee for ten years and ‘never lost a case.’” (Video below.) And like a true unemotional lawyer, Ed stood and said he should get his ass served. [Business Insider]

 When we listed Super Bowl-related lawsuits, we sort of thought the whole infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction thing was dying down. Wrong. The incident of 2004 lives on. CBS is still fighting to get out of the $550,000 in fines imposed by the FCC. And their counsel of Davis Wright Tremaine is trying to help. For probably about $550,000 in legal fees. [The Am Law Daily]

 Solicitor General Elena Kagan is screaming to be the next Supreme Court Justice. Or she at least yells “prohibitive front runner.” [SCOTUS Blog]

 “The Franklin Pierce Law Center has received a $1 million gift to create a professorship to help train students to help students express legal concepts in clear, concise language.” Creating a professor who trains to help? That sounds like it seems like it’s looking like something special. [AP via WCAX.com]

 There probably aren’t many baseball-loving dudes who’d appreciate a wiener in the their eye, but John Coomer is suing the Kansas City Royals, claiming an errant hot dog thrown by the team’s mascot “hit his left eye and led to a detached retina and cataracts.” Way to ruin everyone’s fun and take food right out of fans’ mouths, John. The team is now probably going to ax the part where a plushy fires free processed meat into the crowd. Point the hungry masses to Omaha. [Midwest Voices]

 Women lawyers are pissed (though hopefully not crying) about the fact that major law firms are refusing to hand over a breakdown by gender of equity and non-equity partners. Meanwhile women law students are demanding to know what they should wear to a mock trial competition. There isn’t an easy answer here. After all, the competition is in Vegas. So definitely nylons. And maybe a sequin bra and full headpiece. [Corporette]

 If you were having a hard time feeling sympathetic for Google, look no further than Italy. An Italian court convicted three Google execs of violating privacy laws in Italy. They’re the scapegoat for a user who uploaded and posted videos of an autistic boy being bullied by classmates to YouTube. Guess they’re not really into that free speech thing over there. More like Mum-bo Italiano. [Courthouse News Services]

 Lawyers, lend me your ears. Shanghai is the new Promised Land. “China’s leaders are aiming to turn the city into a globally competitive financial capital by 2020.” And task number one is recruiting a crap-ton of lawyers to make the city a new-world rival. Even Kirkland & Ellis partner David Patrick Eich calls it a legit. So what are you waiting for? Your new life begins here. [The New York Times]

 Tick, tick, tick, tick BOOM. The application numbers are exploding for The University of Massachusetts School of Law at Dartmouth, the first public law school in the state after the UM system recently approved a merger with the Southern New England School of Law. The number of wannabe law students asking to attend has tripled. [Boston Business Journal]

 Ex-Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick “is living large because, his lawyer says, he has to.” That’s the defense he came up with to explain why his client has failed to pay $79,011 of the $1 million he owes in restitution. He’s apparently gotta be livin’ like a baller because his new job is all about him swooning over other ballers, so a lifestyle of “burgers and beer at the local bar is not going to be sufficient.” [Detroit Free Press]

 A 5L (yep, 5L) international law student from India who was attending Harvard’s UN Model conference allegedly raped a woman at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel last weekend. It’s reported that he un-consensually had sex with her after she had consensual sex with a different Indian man earlier the same night. Needless to say, details are developing. [MyFoxBoston]

 Stephen Colbert has a new rivalry with NBC this Olympic season. And after sitting down with Bob Costas on his nemesis network and acting up by trying to throw himself into their fake fire, he had so ask himself: Could I get sued for my version of “Olympic coverage?” So who better to bounce the question off than Colbert’s own brother, Kenyon & Kenyon attorney Ed Colbert who “represented the U.S. Olympic Committee for ten years and ‘never lost a case.’” (Video below.) And like a true unemotional lawyer, Ed stood and said he should get his ass served. [Business Insider]