April 30, 2004

How motherhood is like a military operation

"There are known knowns, there are known unknowns and there are unknown unknowns," Donald Rumsfeld once so ineloquently said.

When we were planning for Isaac, motherhood seemed like a small, straightforward country full of "known knowns" and a few "known unknowns," like breastfeeding and potty training. It seemed like a place I had good maps to -- goodness, look at all the parenting books I'd read! -- a place that I could tidy up in a jiff.

Then, on the day Isaac was airlifted out of my belly and settled down by my side, motherhood suddenly became a place of almost entirely unknown unknowns -- a vast, blurry landscape that I could barely imagine.

Now, eight months post-invasion, I'm finally learning my way around. I'm plotting little Xs on my map where I've learned, "Must get Isaac to nap by 10 a.m. or he won't sleep in the morning" and, "Beware holding him too near a tree -- he'll have the leaves in his mouth before I can blink."

And, eight months in, I find it oddly wonderful that motherhood is a country we each have to map on our own. That, no matter how many books and guides are written, it's something so individual that we each have to figure it out for ourselves, afresh.

Some of the stranger places on my map include:

Getting Isaac to pee in a cup. (We had to spray cold water on his penis.) Now, that wasn't in any book.

Finding out that he thinks the word "ow" is hilarious. (I realized this after he bit down on my breast for the first time.)

Realizing that Isaac can't reach items placed on top of his head. (This makes for endless fun.)

Comments

I love when we are watching "The Wiggles" or any show where there is dancing and I copy the steps and Lillianna thinks I am this wonderful dancer. I took dance for 12 years as I kid...I can certainly do a little step kick number!

My favorite thing is when I pretend to misunderstand something she has said. This is a sure way to get her out of a mood. If she says, "I can't find my shoes!" I ask, "What? You want to go to the ZOO?" She says, "NO mom! SHOES! I can't find my SHOES!" I pretend I finally understand her and ask, "Oh....you want to take a SNOOZE?" Then she laughs and it goes on and on for a few minutes.Then I say, "Oh....you want your SHOES! Well why didn't you say so in the first place????" She comes over to hug me and the bad mood has passed. Ahhhh....I love those moments.

1. Old Beatles songs and Baby Einstein can soothe the savage baby--But I wouldn't recommend trying them simultaneously.
2. A breeze across her face would prevent screaming at many a diaper change.
3. Baby poop can shoot across the room for a few feet if you're not careful on the changing table.
4. My daughter's face when she first sees me after a hard day of work is the greatest thing in the world.
5. Echoing terrilynn, She's her own person and has been since day one.

The strangest place on my (my daughter's) map: the changing table. No, seriously, THE CHANGING TABLE. When my daughter was just a month old and screaming her head off, off to the changing table we went. Even now, at nine months, we still head to the changing table when she starts fussing. Hey, whatever works!

Strange Place on my Map = "My Heart" when my boys become an issue{long story there}, the "out-of-bounds" place {is not that bad if you know where base is} and "Grocery Stores" and "General Stores" are STRANGE (get me out of here places) when meltdowns occur, brought on by wants. Uhhhh and Short-Fluid-Sentences that make sense like Yours, are places I want to get to on my map. I long for peace and grace(prayers answered). Those seem to be missions of our military and goals for every Mom I know. "Terrific Post"!