An Action hero James Bond style fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent...Arnie.... has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States...

Quote:When I was 12 years old, while filming “True Lies”, I was sexually molested by Joel Kramer, one of Hollywood’s leading stunt coordinators.
Ever since, I have struggled with how and when to disclose this, if ever. At the time, I shared what happened to me with my parents, two adult friends and one of my older brothers. No one seemed ready to confront this taboo subject then, nor was I.
I am grateful to the women and men who have gone before me in recent months. The ever-growing list of sexual abuse and harassment victims who have spoken out with their truths have finally given me the ability to speak out. It has been indescribably exhausting, bottling this up inside me for all of these years.
I remember, so clearly 25 years later, how Joel Kramer made me feel special, how he methodically built my and my parents’ trust, for months grooming me; exactly how he lured me to his Miami hotel room with a promise to my parent that he would take me for a swim at the stunt crew’s hotel pool and for my first sushi meal thereafter. I remember vividly how he methodically drew the shades and turned down the lights; how he cranked up the air-conditioning to what felt like freezing levels, where exactly he placed me on one of the two hotel room beds, what movie he put on the television (Coneheads); how he disappeared in the bathroom and emerged, naked, bearing nothing but a small hand towel held flimsy at his mid-section. I remember what I was wearing (my favorite white denim shorts, thankfully, secured enough for me to keep on). I remember how he laid me down on the bed, wrapped me with his gigantic writhing body, and rubbed all over me. He spoke these words: “You’re not going to sleep on me now sweetie, stop pretending you’re sleeping,” as he rubbed harder and faster against my catatonic body. When he was ‘finished’, he suggested, “I think we should be careful…,” [about telling anyone] he meant. I was 12, he was 36.
I remember how afterwards, the taxi driver stared at me in the rear view mirror when Joel Kramer put me on his lap in the backseat and clutched me and grew aroused again; and how my eyes never left the driver’s eyes during that long ride over a Miami bridge, back to my hotel and parent. I remember how Joel Kramer grew cold with me in the ensuing weeks, how everything felt different on the set.
And I remember how soon-after, when my tough adult female friend (in whom I had confided my terrible secret on the condition of a trade that she let me drive her car around the Hollywood Hills) came out to the set to visit and face him, later that very same day, by no small coincidence, I was injured from a stunt-gone-wrong on the Harrier jet. With broken ribs, I spent the evening in the hospital. To be clear, over the course of those months rehearsing and filming True Lies, it was Joel Kramer who was responsible for my safety on a film that at the time broke new ground for action films. On a daily basis he rigged wires and harnesses on my 12 year old body. My life was literally in his hands: he hung me in the open air, from a tower crane, atop an office tower, 25+ stories high. Whereas he was supposed to be my protector, he was my abuser.

Quote: Why speak out now? I was 12, he was 36. It is incomprehensible. Why didn’t an adult on the set find his predatory advances strange — that over-the-top special attention he gave me. Fairly early on he nicknamed me “Jailbait” and brazenly called me by this name in a sick flirty way in front of others (at the time, I remember asking one of my older brothers what it meant). Sure, I’ve come to understand the terrible power dynamics that play into whistle-blowing by “subordinates” against persons in power, how difficult it can be for someone to speak up. But I was a child. Over the years I’ve really struggled as I’ve wondered how my life might have been different if someone, any one grown-up who witnessed his sick ways, had spoken up before he lured me to that hotel room.
Years ago, I had heard second hand that Joel Kramer was “found out” and forced to leave the business. I learned recently that in fact he still works at the top of the industry. And a few weeks ago, I found an internet photo of Joel Kramer hugging a young girl. That image has haunted me near nonstop since. I can no longer hide what happened.
Hollywood has been very good to me in many ways. Nevertheless, Hollywood also failed to protect me, a child actress. I like to think of myself as a tough Boston chick, in many ways I suppose not unlike Faith, Missy, or Echo. Through the years, brave fans have regularly shared with me how some of my characters have given them the conviction to stand up to their abusers. Now it is you who give me strength and conviction. I hope that speaking out will help other victims and protect against future abuse.
With every person that speaks out, every banner that drops down onto my iphone screen disclosing similar stories/truths, my resolve strengthens. Sharing these words, finally calling my abuser out publicly by name, brings the start of a new calm.
Eliza Dushku

An Action hero James Bond style fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent...Arnie.... has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States...

Quote:When I was 12 years old, while filming “True Lies”, I was sexually molested by Joel Kramer, one of Hollywood’s leading stunt coordinators.
Ever since, I have struggled with how and when to disclose this, if ever. At the time, I shared what happened to me with my parents, two adult friends and one of my older brothers. No one seemed ready to confront this taboo subject then, nor was I.
I am grateful to the women and men who have gone before me in recent months. The ever-growing list of sexual abuse and harassment victims who have spoken out with their truths have finally given me the ability to speak out. It has been indescribably exhausting, bottling this up inside me for all of these years.
I remember, so clearly 25 years later, how Joel Kramer made me feel special, how he methodically built my and my parents’ trust, for months grooming me; exactly how he lured me to his Miami hotel room with a promise to my parent that he would take me for a swim at the stunt crew’s hotel pool and for my first sushi meal thereafter. I remember vividly how he methodically drew the shades and turned down the lights; how he cranked up the air-conditioning to what felt like freezing levels, where exactly he placed me on one of the two hotel room beds, what movie he put on the television (Coneheads); how he disappeared in the bathroom and emerged, naked, bearing nothing but a small hand towel held flimsy at his mid-section. I remember what I was wearing (my favorite white denim shorts, thankfully, secured enough for me to keep on). I remember how he laid me down on the bed, wrapped me with his gigantic writhing body, and rubbed all over me. He spoke these words: “You’re not going to sleep on me now sweetie, stop pretending you’re sleeping,” as he rubbed harder and faster against my catatonic body. When he was ‘finished’, he suggested, “I think we should be careful…,” [about telling anyone] he meant. I was 12, he was 36.
I remember how afterwards, the taxi driver stared at me in the rear view mirror when Joel Kramer put me on his lap in the backseat and clutched me and grew aroused again; and how my eyes never left the driver’s eyes during that long ride over a Miami bridge, back to my hotel and parent. I remember how Joel Kramer grew cold with me in the ensuing weeks, how everything felt different on the set.
And I remember how soon-after, when my tough adult female friend (in whom I had confided my terrible secret on the condition of a trade that she let me drive her car around the Hollywood Hills) came out to the set to visit and face him, later that very same day, by no small coincidence, I was injured from a stunt-gone-wrong on the Harrier jet. With broken ribs, I spent the evening in the hospital. To be clear, over the course of those months rehearsing and filming True Lies, it was Joel Kramer who was responsible for my safety on a film that at the time broke new ground for action films. On a daily basis he rigged wires and harnesses on my 12 year old body. My life was literally in his hands: he hung me in the open air, from a tower crane, atop an office tower, 25+ stories high. Whereas he was supposed to be my protector, he was my abuser.

Quote: Why speak out now? I was 12, he was 36. It is incomprehensible. Why didn’t an adult on the set find his predatory advances strange — that over-the-top special attention he gave me. Fairly early on he nicknamed me “Jailbait” and brazenly called me by this name in a sick flirty way in front of others (at the time, I remember asking one of my older brothers what it meant). Sure, I’ve come to understand the terrible power dynamics that play into whistle-blowing by “subordinates” against persons in power, how difficult it can be for someone to speak up. But I was a child. Over the years I’ve really struggled as I’ve wondered how my life might have been different if someone, any one grown-up who witnessed his sick ways, had spoken up before he lured me to that hotel room.
Years ago, I had heard second hand that Joel Kramer was “found out” and forced to leave the business. I learned recently that in fact he still works at the top of the industry. And a few weeks ago, I found an internet photo of Joel Kramer hugging a young girl. That image has haunted me near nonstop since. I can no longer hide what happened.
Hollywood has been very good to me in many ways. Nevertheless, Hollywood also failed to protect me, a child actress. I like to think of myself as a tough Boston chick, in many ways I suppose not unlike Faith, Missy, or Echo. Through the years, brave fans have regularly shared with me how some of my characters have given them the conviction to stand up to their abusers. Now it is you who give me strength and conviction. I hope that speaking out will help other victims and protect against future abuse.
With every person that speaks out, every banner that drops down onto my iphone screen disclosing similar stories/truths, my resolve strengthens. Sharing these words, finally calling my abuser out publicly by name, brings the start of a new calm.
Eliza Dushku

Not that Eliza is reading here, but I applaud her decision to expose not only her abuse but also the potentially lethal repercussion.
I thank her for her candor, her sharing, and for JT posting this. I recall she has said one actor who helped her out early in Hollywood was James Woods, and I'm glad she at least had his support.

Quote: I thank her for her candor, her sharing, and for PN posting this ...

Huh ?

Did I miss something ? PN ?

Kudos to Eliza. Just more evidence that this has been going on forever, and that claims of everyone not knowing are beyond ludicrous.

Humans are sexual animals. We have to be, otherwise we may not have evolved. For anyone to deny that there's a biological attraction to the opposite sex ( for the most part ) or that attractive members of society don't get more attention is denial of reality. Denial of our very DNA. Of what makes us human. Now, doesn't mean we are compelled to act on every single impulse. To the contrary, that's not what makes for a civil society. We ARE better than that, if we choose to be.

It's funny to see those who'd claim otherwise.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM:
What is going on here isn't about sex, it's about POWER. If Weinstein really thought he was THAT attractive, he would have gone after women of equal caliber: women who really COULD say "no".

Going after children, subordinates, the mentally disabled ... it's all about power, and using that power to force sex.
6

You don't seem to understand what sex means to a predator - certainly not what you are implying.
Women of equal caliber are not attractive. They have wrinkles, saggy boobs, stretch marks, overstretched bungs, and often speak without being asked and without appropriate deference.
Women who are as attractive as the predator are nubile, ripe, fresh, inexperienced, properly demure, and speak when prompted. Just because this describes pubescents, children, mentally disabled, and some subordinates is of no negative import.

And who asked you to speak, anyhow? Your loudmouth opinionated act is not attractive to predators.

If it was about power, then the ugly girls would get some, too. That is just Liberal psychobabble masquerading as empowerment.

If it was about power, then the ugly girls would get some, too. That is just Liberal psychobabble masquerading as empowerment.

But isn't physical appearance a status symbol, a high commodity to be valued ? If so, then " seducing " a pretty girl is far more significant than one of more 'common' appearance. The true, rare beauty of a young girl, that stuff has been romanticized and valued through out history. Helen of Troy and such. If she were just some random Velma, , who the hell would care? But no, she was a Daphne, a rare beauty, to be fought for , no matter how many lives were lost.

And yes, ' seducing ' is used in jest, because it's really intimidating and cornering, and by no means winning over her affection.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Quote:Originally posted by JEWELSTAITEFAN:
If it was about power, then the ugly girls would get some, too. That is just Liberal psychobabble masquerading as empowerment.

But isn't physical appearance a status symbol, a high commodity to be valued ? If so, then " seducing " a pretty girl is far more significant than one of more 'common' appearance. The true, rare beauty of a young girl, that stuff has been romanticized and valued through out history. Helen of Troy and such. If she were just some random Velma, , who the hell would care? But no, she was a Daphne, a rare beauty, to be fought for , no matter how many lives were lost.

And yes, ' seducing ' is used in jest, because it's really intimidating and cornering, and by no means winning over her affection.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

I'm just a red pill guy in a room full of blue pill addicts.

" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall

If you define "seduce" as something like: score, conquer, tag, tail, nail, notch the bedpost/belt/totem, hit, strange, then you would be even more on target. And also in alignment with the sarcasm/caricature/satire evident in my post.

And I agree you, I, most here would not see it as seducing, however I have serious doubt that predators see it the same as us.

And I am dismayed that the old "it's about power, not sex" is rolled out, as a disservice to the victims.

If these guys really thought they were "all that" ... powerful, attractive, masterful ... they would want to attract equally powerful and resourceful women as validation of their own status. That they always pick the weakest and most vulnerable tells me that they're really not all THAT sure of their status.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

If these guys really thought they were "all that" ... powerful, attractive, masterful ... they would want to attract equally powerful and resourceful women as validation of their own status. That they always pick the weakest and most vulnerable tells me that they're really not all THAT sure of their status.

I don't know if it's beneficial to try to psychoanalyze the obscenely wealthy and powerful with the same standards that you would your average person.

These people are so fucked up in the head, who knows what is going through their minds and what kinks rule their behaviors.

Hell... maybe Weinstein himself was being blackmailed to continue doing what he had done when somebody even more obscenely rich and powerful caught him in the act and had evidence of it that would destroy him? Why would they do it? I dunno. Maybe blackmailing powerful people was the only way that they could get off anymore.

You want to see the absolute worst humanity has to offer, don't look down. Look up.

What about Aziz Ansari ? This sounds more like regret sexual encounter by the girl, who wanted more cuddling, and less...well, oral, yet went along w/ it. My god, have women forgotten how to say ' no ' ? Was she so enamored w/ being near a ' star ' that she gave in to his requests ( note: not demands ) instead of just getting up and excusing herself from his apt ?

Catherine Deneuve is spot on... there's a legit point to this #MeToo stuff, and then there's the witch hunt that so many are on the verge of turning it into.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Yanno... something happened at work this very night that reminded me somewhat of this situation. Now, of course, what I'm about to say wasn't related to sexual harassment, and I am by no means trying to diminish at all what a terrible thing happened to Eliza when she was only 12 years old. It actually made me glad that, in at least the case of sexual molestation, that people are finally able to speak out about it.

What I'm going to talk about isn't a grave situation at all, and is absolutely trivial compared to what she went through. It's just that I wonder if for many human beings speaking up about anything, at least to the people with the power to do something about it, is just intimidating as hell or something?

I heard one of the day shift ladies late in my shift talking to one of her co-workers and saying something like "what do they give a shit? They don't have to pay for it." I didn't know what this was about so I just kept doing my work. About 15 minutes later this kid around 23 years old comes up to me and had his coat on. Nothing out of the ordinary because I tend to stay as late as they need me, while most of the people just leave exactly when they were scheduled. I asked him if he was leaving for the night and he said "I need a fucking cigarette." I asked him what was wrong and I guess they had been bitching to him about rotating the stock in grocery, how they have to throw things out everyday and he said they were swearing when they said it too. He says that everything he works is rotated and was blaming it on another guy who admittedly doesn't really perform all that well. I wasn't there, so I don't know for sure exactly how it went down, and I don't monitor my co-worker's while they're working so I don't know the entire truth of the situation.

I told him if that ever happens again that he doesn't have to take that shit. I told him not to get angry, but simply look them in the eyes and tell them to talk to [my manager], then go back to doing your work.

So I talked to my manager after shift about it, just to see if the kid said anything to him, or if the ladies from the day shift did either. Not only did he not know of this incident today, but he had no idea that rotating stock has ever been a problem. I told him that if it is, then it needs to be properly addressed and that the issue needs to be taken care of by management downward, otherwise we're going to have more incidents like this in the future... and people who worked a long day are going to go home in a shitty mood and people who just started their day are going to walk around all day in a shitty mood. Plus, the kid I'm talking about is a really hard worker and I wouldn't want to see him blow up at them some time and lose his job over something that should never have happened in the first place.

My manager thanked me for bringing this up to him, told me that they should have spoken directly to him and not to an associate, and that he would get to the bottom of this.

My point is, I wonder if this type of behavior is just typical among most people... you know... just taking a bunch of shit and letting it fester inside instead of doing something about it?

Of course, I can't blame anybody who was only 12 years old and was taken advantage of by a sick individual. It's terrible that she felt there was nobody she could have talked to in her life at that time who could have done something about it.

I dunno. I'm glad that women being molested are coming together in solidarity to do something about it. I wish it didn't take a freaking movement to do it and that people in general would just stop being punching bags for assholes and stand up for themselves once in a while.

It's called "conflict avoidance" and most of us are guilty of it in real life.

I have spent many wasted hours in "brainstorming" sessions trying to "make the agency function more efficiently", looking for a global solution when the REAL problem was So-and-so never fills in the last part of the form and never files it in the right place, causing all kinds of fires that we have to put out"

Not sure if you recall, but I mentioned a co-worker who was kind of a jerk. He used to subtly horn-dog after attractive young women, he had a sarcastic sense of humor, he was probably one of the least diligent workers around ... the only way that (some) people could express their displeasure was by cooking up a sexual harassment complaint against him which, IMHO, was something of a witch-hunt.

There has to be a way of RESOLVING these conflicts. At one point, this person had "jokingly" maligned another person's work, and I sat them both down, along with a bunch of witnesses, and ultimately this person had to withdraw his snarky remark and apologize to the offended party. But yanno what? It was completely out of HR policy and I could have been hung out to dry. We're so hung up on sexual harassment (which BTW is still a real problem) that we haven't figured out how to resolve non-sexual workplace conflicts.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

Yes. Conflict avoidance. Just you saying that made me remember scenes from the last act of the movie Fight Club where they were telling the members to go out and actively start shit with people and watch how almost none of them will actually do anything about it. On particularly comical scene comes to mind where a guy was watering his lawn with a hose and started spraying people walking down his street.

Your example of the horn-dog at your job is typical of what most companies do today. If for some legitimate reason there is a desire that somebody should be fired, rarely is that ever the reason they actually get fired. Proving that somebody screws off all day on the job can be pretty hard to do without tons of video evidence of it happening, but how would one justify obtaining and amassing that evidence on a single employee? Would a company even want to use that tactic since word would get out and employees who already know in the back of their mind and accept that there are cameras might become paranoid about that fact?

Good management is a way to resolve a lot of these conflicts. Unfortunately, it has been my experience most of my life that those who are in management don't actually deserve those positions and are not good at them.

I remember a story my old man told me when I was a kid about a fight breaking out between two guys where he was managing. He got out of his office, said "Alright!". Pulled a quarter out of his pocket and told one of them to call it, and said "whoever wins gets to keep working day shift and whoever loses will be filling one of the night shift vacancies". Both of them immediately went back to their seats and never said another shitty word to each other after that.

Not only did that earn him a lot of respect from his subordinates, but word of that stunt spread quickly and he was being praised by upper management for it.

I've never had a manager anywhere who I would even begin to believe was capable of anything like that.

lol... funny you should mention spontaneity. My dad acknowledged that he's not usually a very spontaneous person and he didn't know where that came from. I'd have to agree with him on that. He's not as deliberate and calculating as me, but spontaneous is never a word I would use to describe him.

I think that's one of the problems with judging a person's abilities on a college diploma. You most certainly don't learn real world things in a classroom or a lab setting. I think part of it is which role models you emulate as a child and another part of it is who you associate with regularly as an adult. This is one of my major problems with the "HR" Department at any company large enough to have one. I see them as the private sector equivalent of a Commissioned Officer in the military. All book smarts and zero street smarts.

I think large companies have adopted this model though because it's "safe". They know what to expect from the homogenized minds of the college graduate. Even if on average these people would be less effective than a lot of non-graduates, somebody who didn't graduate college is a wild-card. There's really no telling what they would do in a given circumstance until after they've already done it.

lol... funny you should mention spontaneity. My dad acknowledged that he's not usually a very spontaneous person and he didn't know where that came from. I'd have to agree with him on that. He's not as deliberate and calculating as me, but spontaneous is never a word I would use to describe him.

I think that's one of the problems with judging a person's abilities on a college diploma. You most certainly don't learn real world things in a classroom or a lab setting. I think part of it is which role models you emulate as a child and another part of it is who you associate with regularly as an adult. This is one of my major problems with the "HR" Department at any company large enough to have one. I see them as the private sector equivalent of a Commissioned Officer in the military. All book smarts and zero street smarts.

I think large companies have adopted this model though because it's "safe". They know what to expect from the homogenized minds of the college graduate. Even if on average these people would be less effective than a lot of non-graduates, somebody who didn't graduate college is a wild-card. There's really no telling what they would do in a given circumstance until after they've already done it.

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