Archive for Christmas

As many of you in the world know, Apple recently debuted their most recent installment in the iPhone saga, the ‘iPhone 4s.’ Proclaimed to be the best and most exciting yet, it features “sexy Siri,” the bot that answers all your questions with the touch of a button and the easy use of your vocal chords–like a real person without the hassle of trite pleasantries! I suppose the graphics are better, and even the price is better (for Apple)! On top of that it comes with all the same features as a planner, a computer, and phone, a Gameboy, an iPod (or any other thing that plays music), a dictionary, an encyclopedia, a friend (albeit a cold one), and annoying child. With all of these amazing features, who WOULDN’T want one?

The answer? Me. However, my husband is trying desperately to convince me that he needs one beyond all reason.However, on a newlywed’s budget, I am trying to convince him (and perhaps the rest of the world) that they are silly and we don’t really need one. I am very content with my flip phone, iPod touch (Christmas gift from my parents a few years ago–I just wanted a regular iPod; you know, with the circle thing?), paper-and-pencil planner, and looking things up in books and on the internet MANUALLY. So, the following are five reasons you DON’T need an iPhone, plus five things you can get instead.

Reason #1: You already have a phone that fulfills its phone-like duties: making and taking phone calls. It even has voice mail! And as an added bonus, it can take pictures, AND send texts AND video! Why do you need something else that does the same thing?

Reason #2: We already spend our hours whiling away our time on the internet with our laptops in wi-fi zones, why do we want to waste MORE of our time on the internet with a phone that can connect ANYWHERE?

Reason #3: Have you seen the price tag? HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE TAG??

Reason #4: It will be obsolete in a while. As I was looking up the iPhone 4s, I was seeing rumors flyinig around Google about the iPhone 5, which probably promises to be even more… Excessive.

Reason #5: Someday, the novelty WILL wear off, and when it does, you’ll only be left with the taste of regret that you didn’t wait until something better came along, like the following:

FIVE THINGS YOU CAN BUY INSTEAD:

#1: Food. This is number one because I’m getting tired of wandering around after I come home from class, wishing we had some decent snack food or something to ease that grumbling in my stomach. You can only eat so much tuna, so many egg salad sandwiches, so many 95-cent pot pies, so many (very) basic chicken recipes, and so much hamburger helper before you feel the need for something more, something… Substantial.

#2: Pants. I say this because J.D. and I seem to have a shortage of them. He keeps ripping holes in his (which I will eventually repair–maybe I’ll repair all the holes in his jeans for Christmas, if he wants to spend our money on an iPhone so bad), and I have to do my student teaching next semester, and something tells me that low-rise skinny jeans are not appropriate. But who doesn’t want more pants? Nobody wants to go around smelling like butt when they only have one or two pairs of jeans to wear.

#3: A house. Someday. That $300 for an iPhone could be saved, and eventually get anyone out of the renting cycle and into a home of their very own.

#4: Friends. As in, throw a party. Make some mac n’ cheese and invite everyone over for some hard-core face-to-face interaction (something that would likely not be happening if one were too busy building a relationship with a fake woman named Siri– See video below).

And, for the price of the 64 gig, you could get you could get a used couch, loveseat, AND chair! Because who doesn’t love lounging around on furniture? Especially when the furniture you currently own smells like butt and consists of one used recliner and an old loveseat.

There you have it. iPhones were obsolete before they were made: we already have screaming children, friends, planners, the internet, mp3-players, phones, cameras, and books. We even have plenty of things to touch, thank you very much.

As you well know, most Christmas blogs or stories involve the horrible shopping traffic, not being able to find a parking spot at the mall, or being mobbed AT the mall. I have no such interesting stores involving that. In fact, my holiday shopping included nothing more exciting than a bunch of stingey folks that would let me turn left out of the parking lot at Barne’s and Noble’s. My REAL Christmas story began today, Christmas Eve (although, I AM writing this after midnight, so it is, in fact, Christmas morning as I type away) as I had promised my youngest brother, Benson, that I would take him out to deliver Christmas presents to his friends. I also had a few gifts to deliver as well, so it was all good.

After an eventful morning/afternoon of grandparents coming as I was in the process of getting ready, we finally manage to drag ourselves away from the house around three, at which time the Christmas Eve blizzard we had been expecting for weeks was at full force. Luckilly, the first house was on a street which I knew, but Benson really had no idea where his friend’s house actually WAS. He knew that it was a few houses down from ANOTHER one of his friend’s house, but, no address. We eventually gave up on that one after making about three U-turns — The first of many, many more.

So, his next friend, Alex, lived in Hooper (pronounce Huper, kind of like the “oo” in “foot”– Say it right or don’t say it at all!), which was only a few cities away, but seemed like states in the blizzard we were driving in because me being the safe, cautious, considerate, careful-with-a-kid-in-the-car driver I am (I am NOT inexperienced!! O_O) I was driving VERY CAREFULLY!! Every time I would stop, the car would do this little wiggle thing, like it was happy that it was snowing so prettilly, but to be honest, it really scared the living daylights out of me.

Anyway, to make a long story short HERE, turns out there are TWO roads named 6150 in Hooper, and we went to the WRONG ONE. We were wandering around there like idiots, I probably made about 10 U-turns in that HOUR AND A HALF that we were driving around like lost puppydogs chasing their tails. Benson called his friend, had his friend go out and stand in the middle of the road, and FINALLY, he handed the phone over to me so I could talk to his mother and get better directions. Which didn’t help. She finally came out to the main road in her big white van where we found her and followed her to their house. But we got that gift delivered!! We did it! I was very proud of myself. Or something.

Anyway, after that “little” trip, I was finally able to go and deliver MY presents. by now, it was about… 5:30. Where did the day go?

By now, the snow was about 6 or 7 inches deep, and very pretty. Luckilly, the falling snow had begun to subside to leave a lovely blanket white snow. I delivered my gift to Austin with no real ill feelings towards getting to his house (which is VERY well-lit with countless Christmas lights), and reached Mitch’s house with no difficulties. I delivered my gift, we agreed on going to sushi in Logan on Friday, and I got back in the car and prepared to leave.

Now, Mitch has a very convenient backyard. His house has a driveway on either side of the house, and both connect in the backyard, which is kind of like more driveway in front of his family’s barn. They do, though, have grass in their backyard which is VERY difficult to see the border of (actually, impossible) when everything is covered by a lovely blanket of snow. So, my plan was to go around the back of his house and exit through the opposite driveway to avoid any more U-turns, which I had made plenty of during the previous two hours or so. Sadly, the other driveway was occupied by two other cars which I had not previously seen, and saw after I had already started turning into it. So, I started to back up, only to discover that the wheels were slipping and would not budge. I tried to get the wheels to catch, but to no avail. I finally called Mitch and begged him to come out and help me push my car.

But alas, merely trying to push the car would be much too difficult. This horrible situation called for the big guns. So, Mitch’s father lugged out the (rather large) tractor and hooked it up the the back of my car to pull me out of where I had obviously driven right onto their lawn, and probably made a horrible mess of it, as well. All the while I was holding my head in my hands laughing at this horribly stupid thing I had done and apologizing over and over for messing up their beautiful snow and making myself look like an idiot and making them come out in the cold and making them go to all this trouble to move my stupid car out of the stupid snow… etc. etc. etc. You get my drift. So, they pulled my car out, put the tractor back, and waved goodbye. Mitch did not disagree when I said what a lapse of judgment had gone through my head when I made the decision to take the path I did.

And then, although I had two more presents to deliver, I gave up on being Santa’s little helper and went home and shovelled my driveway as penance for my lawn-ruining sin.

I now have less of a respect for Santa on his big delivery night. HE gets to fly around and avoid getting stuck in the snow. He should try driving MY car one year, see if he’ll still be a jolly old fat man.