Category Archives: tart

Of the phrases that exemplify the quality of French as a diplomatic language few can compare with “belle horizontale” as a well turned euphemism for an “expensive tart” and there is no doubt that the eponymous Tarte au Citron Cartet, … Continue reading →

Zombie families roam the streets of social media whilst the TV screens in our homes are awash with life size images of intestines being drawn from the bowels of a recusant Catholic*and to follow there is always the not … Continue reading →

My mind was elsewhere as the sharp knife in my hands surgically removed the seeds from a large bunch of putative “seedless” grapes. I was reflecting on whether Beulah’s response to her mistress Mae West’s request for a peeled grape … Continue reading →

” …we’re in the soup” ” in a bit of a stew” “there are too many cooks” “the salt has lost its savour” “it only takes one rotten apple” “our goose is well and truly cooked”. Being that the cooking … Continue reading →

As I ate my five hundredth greengage of the day I began to ponder on aw and awe and concluded how awful, meaningless and fucking annoying is the current use of awesome as a superlative particularly if Oh My God … Continue reading →

Our local supermarket’s male employees tend not to be slim, suntanned and, above all, smiling; nor do they wear their hair in the mini ponytail once popular with hipsters and now de rigueur with rugby players but yet there he … Continue reading →

Manneken Pis, Pissenlit, Pisse-Dru, Tant Pis, Pissaladiere…there’s something very French about pissing; about not searching for a convenient bush or shady corner but just having a piss when the moment takes you. I should make it clear that this is singularly, … Continue reading →

There are so many things that I should have given up for Lent. I should have given up turning on the radio, reading newspapers, believing politicians, thinking that the daft cunts were politicians in the first place, having faith in … Continue reading →

During my lifetime the word “simple”, or should I say its inference, has become the antithesis of that which I originally understood. My schooldays were passed in those halcyon days before society had become so cowed by the pinched face … Continue reading →

I’m wearing socks again which is significant as I have not worn socks for seven years. Those years account for half of the time that we have lived here; that half being the warm and sunny half. The coming up and the … Continue reading →