In service of man

Sept. 11 came and went this past week with a meager whimper of real notice. Flags were flourished at half-mast while puerile politicians hid behind perfunctory homilies of gas-baggery who wish to put a happy faced Band-Aid on that blistering memory of atavistic brutality against America on that sunny late-summer morning.

“The National Day of Service and Remembrance” is the fashionable liberal moniker for 9/11 these days. The Community-Organizer-in-Chief wants us to devolve from the negative vibe of our anger, pain and mourning and invest our positive energies towards “community service” like picking up litter, recycling light bulbs and whitewashing our memories.

Quite frankly, folks, screw that.

I want to vent my anger on the jihadi scumbags that killed my countrymen. I want to feel my pain as I helplessly watched hapless people diving out of office windows to escape a raging inferno. I want to mourn the cops, firefighters and military personnel who saved as many people as they could before they themselves perished during that “man-caused disaster.” I want to honor and mourn the souls of Flight 93 for having the courage to selflessly ditch that plane into the dirt in order to save others at their own ultimate peril.

Sept. 11? I will never forgive. I will never forget.

Furthermore, I would like to honor George W. Bush for his service to his country in the wake of 9/11. Please notice there hasn’t been a successful act of terror on American soil since. Pontificating pro-terrorist belly-achers, however, from the tin-foil hat brigade continue to bloviate about those missing “seven minutes” of Bush’s alleged inaction while al-Qaida was busy crashing passenger planes into office buildings.

First of all, my answer to this reality-challenged Truther musing is this: Clairvoyance is not considered a Constitutional requirement for the presidency and secondly, what did Bill Clinton do during the seven years of al-Qaida attacks on Americans starting with the first World Trade Center bombing (1993), the truck bombing of marines at Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia (1996), three U.S. embassy bombings (1998) and the attack on the USS Cole (2000)?

Well, folks, he was too busy playing “hide the Cohiba” with his hefty hussy in the Oval Office! Slick Willy obviously preferred girls with low-standards and low self-esteem over defending American lives either here or abroad.

To be furthermore unfair and judgmental about the nature of “service,” allow me to inflict upon you as to what my own peculiar notions of “service” entail. First of all, citizen, you are not a unique “snowflake” and nobody, I mean nobody, owes you anything, not even life itself. Doubt me? Then please explain why we’ve had 49.5 million other “snowflakes” aborted in this country in the name of “choice.” If you were born after 1973, please call your mother right now and thank her for her “choice.”

She did you a “service.”

Secondly, “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!” Free lunch services such as Section-8 housing, welfare, food stamps, medical care, etc., are not “free.” Ask any taxpayer as they are the ones that have to pay for these services that some allegedly get for “free.”

Show gratitude.

Is it an inconvenient truth that these “free” services should be readily acquired from your own family? Unless, of course, you are a complete and utter dirt bag who has had a well-rehearsed excuse for every mishap in your misanthropic life (“My teeth itch, my hair hurts, etc.”). To alleviate this self-inflicted malady, please check out the Santa Monica Civic. Dr. Wayne Dyer is hosting a seminar, “Excuses Be Gone” on Sept. 20.

Thirdly, If you want to be of “service” and serve your community, please stop standing out in front of Whole Foods market with some pretentious petition pimping “Save the ADHD Gay Nuclear Whales” or some other effluvia. Name any Amnesty International petition that has ever stopped a suicide bomber from going ballistic on a school bus.

If you want to stop Afghani women from getting their ears and fingers lopped off by the Taliban for simply voting at election time then signing a fluffy petition is pithy ego-massage. Try joining the military and engage in some “direct action” to effect some real change in the world otherwise you are just another mouthy ACLU wuss with an overdeveloped sense of self-importance and good reading skills.

You could even be president some day.

My lovely wife, Lisa, wants her Afghani sisters to have the same liberties that she enjoys. To that end, she goes to boot camp this October to serve in the United States Army.

Steve Breen has always been at America’s service and is still “the best looking mailman at the U.S. Post Office.” He can be reached at dulcamarax@yahoo.com.