Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•First day of practice in pads, and already the Cardinals are fighting each other. Good thing there's a man of god to show them all their earthly quarrels are ultimately meaningless in the face of...oh wait, it's Leinart now.