Saturday, 9 February 2013

on self struggle and band shirts

Well, I admit it was not only the exams that kept me away from the blog but also a little struggle with myself. I've been living alone for four months now and lately I've realized how hard it is to get used to it again. I have lived alone before, but back then I was in a relationship, then I lived together with my ex for four years - and now I'm living alone, really alone, for the first time actually. It's awkward that there's no one to spend your time with, so I often catch myself sitting here thinking "Hm what now?" because I have nothing to do. Then sometimes I feel a little low about the situation, curl up in bed with a movie and that's it. On other days I consider finding new hobbies, new friends, trying to make the best of it. It's up and down, up and down at the moment. Seems it'll take some more time to arrive in the single life completely. I hate it, I'm too impatient for this crap.

But I'm not complaining (at least not so much), basically I'm doing fine, I just can't switch off my head.

Anyways, on most days I was not able to take good outfit photos indoors because of the bad light, so there are a couple of looks that I'll reshoot outside again. The pics above are the only ones that turned out good enough to post them here.

I love to wear unbuttoned shirts instead of cardigans lately and I'm getting back to including more band shirts into my outfits too. Most of them didn't fit me during the last years, but now after the weight loss I'm happily rediscovering how much I love them.

This Muse shirt however is a new one, I ordered it from Ebay US because they have a bigger variety of ladies shirts to choose from, more different styles and all. Plus most often it's even cheaper to buy band merch from overseas - the only disadvantage are the longer shipping times.

I'm not so much into the latest Muse album, but apart from that I'm a fan so it was high time for this shirt.

Oh and I felt like wearing some lipstick that day, how do you like it?

Another thing that totally got lost between exams and coping with myself is that I finally managed to get my first tattoo.

I have thought about the motive and placement for about 8 years and after all this emotional crap in the last months and after realizing that I'm getting older way too fast, I thought it was now or never - so better now.

These birds are taken from an artwork of the Korean artist Seonna Hong and they mean a lot to me. Hope you like it? I abslutely love how it turned out.

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comments:

I'm in a relationship for 9 years now, living together for 6 years and I can't even imagine how hard it will be to live alone, but you need to hang in there, I'm sure with time you will get used with it and when you will find someone you will miss your time living alone. :DI really like your look, is very cool..and I also love Muse!And tattoo kicks ass! I'm planning on having one for 3 years now, I really do hope this year I will do it! :)

Congrats on your new tattoo! I love it, honestly, it's not just some usual bird tattoo. And don't be down because you live alone... You should be your best company. I envy you actually.:) You can eat pizza all day on your couch naked if you want too, how cool is that?!:)

Yaaaay for getting tattoos! I just got my second one and I love it. Your's looks great!!I love this casual rocker look, so great on you! The print mixing of plaid and leopard print is perfect with the band teexJennaD

your tattoo looks fantastic, and hope you're able to settle in soon and find living by yourself easier. i'm sure there are many things you can find to do by yourself.. growing up as an only child i had to find things to do alone, and it's not all too bad

I cannot even imagine how difficult it is to live alone, I don't know what to do with myself when my boyf is at work for the evening. I love your tattoo, it looks fantastic! And you look gorgeous as always - that lipstick is beautiful on you xo

awe, i'm sorry you're struggling living alone! when my husband is away on deployments I always hate coming home to an empty house. so lonely. But it seems like you're just in a little bit of a funk and on the right track, when you're ready you'll get out there and have a whole new life ahead of you. Goodluck!

CHANGE IN DOMESTIC LIFE IS THE WORST. I haven't ever lived with a partner, and after I got out of my last relationship, I couldn't even sleep through the night for weeks. Ugh!! I'm sorry you're having a tough time. But your tattoo is beautiful! I do love your classic grunge band tee/plaid top combo. Lovely as always!

I'm sure it will get better with time, getting used to living alone... I have to admit I find it difficult too, when my Boyfriend is away for long weeks or months... I always end up staying up very late, as if I was waiting for someone to arrive. :) It's all in the head... And that's the most dificult place to alter. :)