La sirena, el mástil

Saturday, November 04, 2006

It has been a crazy week. I don’t know if I can write a proper entry. There is so much going on behind my eyes right now.

First, everything looks like winter already. The tint of sunlight that slowly hits my paper blinds in the morning. The smell of cold wet leaves barely freezing together at 4 in the afternoon, when the sun sets. This marks the period when all I want to do is roll over and hide. Nothing makes sense anymore. I leave my blinds down and try to make the best of it inside. Because out there, all there is left is supersized superficial purchasing opportunities. Pumpkins are still smiling under dangling wired lighting. There’s an abundance of red attacking innocent people who just want to go home. Conversations about gifts and party dresses will haunt most public areas along with other stress-related issues such as climate change and scientific truth.

Every year I usually go off and tell unsuspecting acquaintances how the holiday season is just crank and pull. All the fuss over what is not the iconic lore they used to know is misspent time and energy. The icy holiday season is now the summum of the dollar symbol. It’s all about people feeling obliged and abiding to a school of thought that they don’t even try to comprehend. And on and on.

But this year will be different. My little cousin came up with this great idea to make presents this year. Actually using our hands and imagination to create something singular and personal. I like that thought. And because of her, I’ve been thinking about winter and how difficult it is for me to feel alive through it and realized that maybe that is why the holidays are what they are today. Winter would be very drab without the big lights of celebration shining over grey doorways. Maybe somewhere along the way the reason got shot for something else but if the reason was for people to be brought together in order for them to not be depressed and alone then who am I to frown upon it? I just wish it was clearer that family affairs like Christmas celebrations are not about stuff (and keeping receipts for stuff and regifting stuff) but about peoples.

Peoples like you and I... that sit in front of computer screens thinking about stuff that isn’t material. Peoples. Yes, I like saying Peoples. (Does Peoples make me look dumb?) Peoples are not dollars. Oh nice, snowflakes...