October 28, 2011

Cathy wrote to me today, concerned about a possible change in how her team sends holiday greeting cards.

In the past they have purchased holiday cards, addressed them to a mailing list of customers and other important people, had everyone on the team sign them, and then mailed them through the US Postal Service.

This year they are considering sending e-cards wishing their customers and important contacts a happy 2012.

Although they can design a beautiful card, Cathy is worried that an emailed PDF will seem lazy compared to their past efforts. She also wonders how recipients will react when they see "Best Wishes for 2012!" or a similar greeting as the subject line.

What do you think as someone who receives holiday greetings? Would you prefer getting a printed card signed by the team in your mailbox? Or do you like e-cards in your inbox?

Please share your views. If you are comfortable doing so, please let us know whether your age is 20-30, 30-50, or 50+, along with the country in which you work.

September 25, 2011

The other day in a Better Business Writing course a manager admitted she uses we when she means you. She gave examples like these:

"We need to take on this project."

"We need to get this task done by Friday."

She uses we to come across as polite rather than pushy. But she really wants the person reading her message to take on the project and get the task done.

I was glad the manager asked my opinion. She gave me the chance to talk about the time a client informed me that "All we need now is to write the letter of agreement." I waited about a week, then phoned the client to let him know I had not received the agreement. He laughed and told me he thought I was writing it.

That's the problem with we. It doesn't clarify responsibilities. It's as bad as the passive "This tasks needs to get done by Friday." In fact, it's worse. When someone says, "This task needs to get done," the next question is often "Who will do it?" But in response to "We need to get this task done," people rarely ask "Who is we?"

I suggested the manager choose among sentences like these:

"Please take on this project."

"I would like you to take on this project."

"I am hoping you will be able to take on this project."

"This project falls within your responsibilities. Can you fit it in?"

"Please finish this task by Friday."

"Can you please finish this task by Friday?"

"This task needs to be done by Friday. Can you do it?"

"The project requires that you finish this task by Friday."

"The deadline for this project is Friday. Can you meet it?"

Here is my advice: Avoid using we when you mean you. Use you in requests and directives to be both polite and unambiguous.

Have you experienced we/you confusion on the job? Please tell us your story.

July 23, 2011

I know condolences can be very difficult to write. That is why I am sharing a condolence message I sent to our friend Ingrid, a Norwegian American, after yesterday's horrific events in Norway.

Dear Ingrid,

We were so sorry to read about the terrorist murders in Norway. What a terrible, shocking situation. We are hoping that none of your family members, friends, or acquaintances was hurt in the day’s terrible events.

Please accept our condolences on the sad, unspeakable events that took place in the country so close to your heart. We know how peaceful Norway is, which makes these events even more horrible.

We are thinking of you and your family.

As you can tell from the message, I do not know whether Friday's senseless tragedy touched Ingrid's family members or friends closely. If someone you know did lose a loved one or acquaintance, you might write a message like one of these:

Dear Rolf,

Please accept our condolences on the tragic death of your friend Elsa. The terror of the events of July 22 touched all of us, but your loss is deep and personal. We cannot imagine how you feel, but we are very sad that your dear friend is gone.

Know that you are in our thoughts during this sorrowful time.

Sincere sympathy,

Dear Anika,

I was very sorry to learn that one of your coworkers died in the shocking events of July 22. Please accept my deep sympathy for your loss under such tragic circumstances.

You are in my thoughts as you cope with this awful experience.

In sympathy,

The messages above are appropriate for business and personal relationships. I hope you do not need to use them.

June 01, 2011

Today I received another LinkedIn request from someone who wants to connect with me. This was the entire message:

Lynn,

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

Jeni

I do not know Jeni. I do not know why she wants to be part of my professional network.

My only choices on my free version of LinkedIn are to accept or ignore the request. What should I do?

Rather than adding to my network a stranger about whom I know nothing, I will ignore Jeni's request.

Granted, I could research her online. Jeni's last name was included with the request, and I could do an Internet search or even a LinkedIn search to try to find out something about her. But why would I do that work without a good reason?

If you want to connect with someone professionally, why not write your request so that the other person will feel positive about connecting with you?

If you are using a networking service such as LinkedIn, tailor your request to join someone's network. For example, Jeni might have written something like this:

Lynn,

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. I am beginning to develop business writing classes at my company, _________ [name of company], and I would like to connect with you about approaches, content, resources, and other topics.

Jeni Smith Job Title

If I had received a message like that, I would have accepted her request because it is specific. It would have helped me understand why we might have something in common and might mutually benefit from being connected.

If you want to email a stranger to introduce yourself, be clear about your reason for writing. Do you want advice from the other person? Would you like an answer to a question? Would you like to have coffee to discuss a business challenge? Know what you want so you can make your request clear.

Consider this example as an email request:

Subject: Request Regarding Music Business Internships

Dear Mr. Wilson,

My friend Debra Jones suggested I write to you. She thought you might be willing to share your advice on finding an internship in the music business. I am graduating next week from Ballard High School and am excited to be starting the music business program at USC in late August. Until then, I am available for a few weeks this summer and would like to get experience in the industry.

I have good computer skills, and I am open to lots of experiences. I would prefer a paid internship, but I am open to volunteering too. I live in Seattle.

Would you be willing to talk with me by phone or in person? If so, please let me know.

Thank you for considering my request.

Best,

Dave Bell [phone number here]

My polite sample message from Dave includes these parts:

A referral from someone Mr. Wilson presumably knows

A reason for the message

A little background on the writer and what he is looking for

A specific request

Contact information

If my fictitious Dave Bell did not know someone who could refer him to Mr. Wilson, he might have opened this way:

Dear Mr. Wilson,

My research on the Internet has informed me that you are a local Seattle expert in the music business. You have worked on Folklife, Bumbershoot, and other music festivals. I am writing to you as someone who might be willing to share your advice on finding an internship in the music business....

Too often people introducing themselves to strangers put very little effort into the message. The less the apparent effort, the less likely it is that someone will respond positively.

Do you have suggestions or views on how to introduce yourself to a stranger for networking or information-gathering purposes? Please share them here.

May 06, 2011

Chelsea, a reader of my monthly e-newsletter, Better Writing at Work, asked me to write about indenting paragraphs in business letters. She wrote, "When writing letters, what is the 'proper' protocol on indenting?"

There are several proper ways to format a traditional business letter. Only one of them indents paragraphs, and it is not popular these days. I have described three ways below.

Modern and sleek: the full-block style. These days most business letters follow the full-block style, with nothing indented. In this style, everything (the date, inside address, salutation, body, close, and signature block) begins at the left margin. The only content that might be indented in the full-block style is bullet points or long quotes. Both of those would be indented as a block, though, not just the first line, like this:

This is an example of a paragraph that is block indented. The whole paragraph is indented, not just the first line.

Most businesses use the full-block style because it is easy to type--no indenting! Also, it looks modern and sleek on the page.

Less modern and sleek: the modified-block style. Paragraphs are not indented in the modified-block style. However, the date, closing, and signature block are indented--to begin at the center of the line. It requires the business writer or typist to create a template with the correct indention of the date, closing, and signature block. Some organizations use this style, which looks neat but not sleek.

Fussy and dated looking: the modified-block style with indented paragraphs. The only style with indented paragraphs is known as "the modified-block style with indented paragraphs." In it, the date, closing, and signature block begin at the center, as in the modified-block style. However, each paragraph is indented a half-inch (1.27 cm). This is the fussiest looking letter, with no sleek lines. It is not popular these days but was common decades ago.

If your organization wants to come across as up to date and elegant, choose the full-block style. If you want to appear up to date yet a bit traditional, consider the modified-block style. If you want to appear traditional and old-fashioned, the modified-block style with indented paragraphs might work, but remember that it doesn't look elegant.

Some letterhead is already very left-heavy. If your company's letter is designed with a very strong left line, you might want to use the modified-block style for a more balanced look. Check with your communications department.

Before anyone asks, the answer is no--paragraphs are NOT indented in email. On the screen, people focus on the left margin, so it makes no sense to indent paragraphs in email.

Chelsea, I hope this post answers your question. To indent or not to indent paragraphs? It's up to you.

April 26, 2011

Yesterday I reviewed the latest updates of my LinkedIn connections, after a busy period of not checking in.

I noticed that many people had written a brief update over the past two weeks. Some had written daily updates. Others had published several updates each day.

Whose do you think I read?

I read the first update each person published, so for the people who included just one update, I read their comments closely. I was delighted to learn that a client was working on retail training and had traveled to Texas to do so. I liked feeling in the know about his work.

For those who published more than one update, I read the first couple of them if I could understand them. However, if they had written a few cryptic words and added a link, I did not bother. I didn't have time to chase down information that might or might not be of interest. If their second or third updates were compelling, I read them. But I confess wondering whether their work had slowed down so they had nothing else to do, or whether they were avoiding the next big project by typing online.

For those who published over and over--sometimes several times in an hour--I quickly ignored their updates. I considered deleting constant updaters from my connections if they were people I don't know well.

Am I antisocial? Or as a baby boomer, do I just not understand the need to connect constantly?

LinkedIn is a professional network, so these are business connections. I am certain that none of them would call me or email me several times a day to update me on their business lives. So why do they update their network connections that often with talk about meaningful quotations, great articles, the latest news in politics, the next workshop, and the weather where they live?

Call me a curmudgeon, but for me less is more. If you write to me once a month or even once a week and share a meaningful bit of inspiration or information, I am eager for it. But if you update me several times a day with that same information, it becomes meaningless, just another drip drip drip in a constant rain of information.

My situation may be atypical because I had not checked LinkedIn for a couple of weeks. Had I visited every day, the updates would have come in a manageable stream rather than a flood. Still, does a steady stream of information communicate as much as a reflecting pool?

Perhaps my water theme just fell apart with that last metaphor. Like much that comes along in social media, maybe it was too much of a good thing.

Are your professional social media outlets happily social? Or do they come across as frantic, too much of a good thing? Please share your honest views.

April 09, 2011

This past week I spent two days teaching a letter writing class for a large Seattle-area company. Both days the company made me feel welcome and important from the moment I drove into the parking lot.

Can you guess how they welcomed me in the parking lot?

No, not with balloons. They reserved a parking space for me--with my name on it.

"This spot reserved for Lynn Gaertner-Johnston," the sign said. But to me, it said much more. It told me that the company valued me and my work. The message becomes even more powerful when you consider that I am a vendor--someone arriving at their company to perform a service. I was not a visiting dignitary, yet I felt that way when I saw the sign.

That welcoming gesture in the parking lot made me think about how we welcome people at work. How do we communicate a feeling of welcome and importance to others through our writing?

One obvious way is to send out welcome announcements, messages that introduce new employees and encourage everyone to welcome them. Here is an example:

Welcome Pia Nielsen to Sales

I am pleased to announce that Pia Nielsen joins the Sales group as a sales assistant on Monday, April 11. Her role is to help us produce outstanding proposals, presentations, web demos, and related materials and events. She reports to Stephanie Burke.

Pia's experience is a terrific fit for the job. She comes to us from XYZ Company, where she worked first in retail sales and then as a store event coordinator. Before working fulltime, she earned her bachelor's degree in business from the University of Washington. She loves to kayak, hike, and take nature photographs. She did all three on a recent trip to Maui.

If you are at headquarters, stop by Pia's desk on the 4th floor and introduce yourself. You can also reach her at Ext. 20203 and pia.nielsen@ourcompany.com.

Bill RichardsDirector of Sales

People who read the message will learn a lot: who Pia is, what her role in sales will be, when she starts, whom she reports to, why she was hired, who she is outside work, and how she can be reached. They will also learn that the director wants her to be welcomed.

When Pia reads it, she will learn how important she is to Sales.

Have you ever been welcomed with such an announcement or gesture on the job? Or have you wished you had been?

March 11, 2011

I was straightening my office and found an article I had printed off the Internet, "Karen Stephenson's Quantum Theory of Trust," written by Art Kleiner and published in 2002 by strategy+business. It is a fascinating article about relationships in business--not hierarchical relationships, but the work, social, and networking relationships that affect a company's success.

The article touched on business writing, specifically email, on the last page:

"One easy way to improve the level of trust, anytime and anywhere, is simply to increase the speed with which people respond to communication. When people return our calls or e-mails quickly, it sends a signal that we can rely on them because our connection, however distant, is important enough to claim some of their attention. 'Human beings always keep an internal accounting system of who owes what to whom,' says Steve Haeckel, director of strategic studies at IBM’s Advanced Business Institute, who has collaborated with Professor Stephenson for 10 years on some of the trust-related research she’s done. 'Response time is one indicator of the degree of trustworthiness of the other individual.'"

When I finished reading the article last night around 10 o'clock, I pulled out my laptop and responded to a few emails I had hoped to get to earlier in the week. I want people to trust me. If fast responses build trust, I am going to work on responding faster, even if only with a short message telling the individual when I will respond in detail.

Could you increase trust with customers, coworkers, and people who report to you by responding promptly to their email? Does response time affect your trust in others?

February 10, 2011

The other day my husband Michael, who is my business partner, showed me a personal-business email he had received from the mother of a child at our daughter's high school. The email was about a carpooling situation.

Just above the mother's name at the end of her email was this "close":

XXXOOO

Can you imagine my surprise? This was a letter to my husband.

(Note: If XXXOOO is not used in your culture, in our culture it stands for "Kiss kiss kiss hug hug hug.")

And it was not the first time the mother (I will call her that instead of making up a name) had used the affectionate close. Michael showed me an entire email thread, which she had started days earlier. Each message ended with XXXOOO.

Because all her messages end that way, it is obvious the mother uses XXXOOO in her automatic signature.

Whew! So I won't worry about any misplaced affection for my husband.

The mother's automatic signature reminded me of another message closing that a stranger used in her email to Michael about a business writing class. It was "With warmest regards."

Here is my advice: Be cautious with your automatic signatures. Yes, it is fine to end a message with XXXOOO when writing to your life partner or close family members. And it is perfectly appropriate to use "With warmest regards" in a message to a long-standing client, customer, or colleague who has become a very dear friend.