Valerie Harper: The Nicest Celebrity in the World, and Why I'm Devastated for Her

As I do every morning, I check my email from my iPhone before I roll out of bed to see what awaits me for the day. In my groggy state of mind, I came across an alert from People magazine with the headline "Valerie Harper Has Terminal Brain Cancer." I thought I had to be seeing things. This wasn't possible. Wrong Valerie Harper. Wrong diagnosis. Wrong person.

After all, I was with Valerie only two and a half weeks ago, and the legendary TV icon was as beautiful and as energetic as one could possibly be.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show and (Valerie's spin-off) Rhoda had ended their runs before I was even born, but because it was my mom's favorite, I latched on as soon as the shows started appearing on TV Land and Nick-at-Nite. I identified with Rhoda more than anyone—that spunky, passionate Jewish gal with the thick brown hair and wide eyes who considered eating a hobby. If there was ever a character I related with more on TV, she was it. And it was only because Valerie Harper brought her to life in the most genuine, real, and absolutely hilarious way.

I followed Valerie's career when she went on to star in Valerie (later retitled The Hogan Family when she left) and then when in the short-lived sitcom City, with my cousin Todd Susman. (You better believe that's all I talked about as a fifth-grader that year.)

In 2008, as a member of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, I finally got my chance to meet Valerie. The academy was honoring Betty White, and Valerie was there (along with most of the cast from The Mary Tyler Moore Show). I've never been so excited to meet the cast of anything, and Valerie did not disappoint. Before I even told her who my cousin was, she could not have been nicer. She was warm, she was generous, and she made you feel important. That, my friends, is the measure of a person...how they treat you when you can't do anything for them, when they don't know you at all, and they still want to make your life brighter, if only for a few minutes.

But the moment I did tell her that I was Todd's cousin...well, let's just say she might have adopted me on the spot. And—no offense to the best parents in the world—I probably would have let her.

Since then I've had the chance to interview her thanks to my work at Glamour. At Betty White's birthday party in January 2012, she embraced me and called me her twin, with our similar haircuts. (My Rhoda-loving self was freaking out...imagine if you idolized Carrie Bradshaw or Rachel Green and they said the same thing.)

But let's fast-forward to two weeks ago, February 13.

My mom was flying in to L.A. that day, and after a quick bite to eat, I was taking her with me to the launch party for Topshop/Topman. But there was something else going on that night, something that I didn't even want to tell my mom about because I knew we probably wouldn't be able to go—Valerie Harper's book signing, I, Rhoda, taking place at Barnes & Noble.

The signing was happening at 7. The TopShop event started at 7:30, with arrivals beginning at 8. There was no way. This is Los Angeles, after all, where driving one mile can sometimes take you one hour.

But then I thought, WWRD? (What Would Rhoda Do?)

I called Barnes & Noble and explained my situation to their special-events coordinator. She told me that Valerie would do a Q&A for approximately 15 minutes and then start signing. She said if we got there early, we could get in line first and hopefully be out of there by 7:35. That would leave me about 10 minutes (once we got back to the car) to make our way to the Topshop opening.

So I told my mom, who jumped at the chance of even the slightest encounter. So we went. What happened next will tell you all you need to know about Valerie Harper.

Valerie arrived, with her signature head scarf perfectly tied around her still shiny brown hair, looking nowhere near her very young 73 years. The room—filled with equally passionate Rhoda fans—asked question after question of their favorite star, and she dutifully answered, at one point even reciting the opening lines to Rhoda's "theme song."

When asked what her favorite Rhoda line was, she mentioned the one where Rhoda remarks how she might as well not even eat food, as it will go to her hips just by looking at. Valerie was whip smart, engaging, and, in one word, wonderful.

Meanwhile, I was beginning to freak out. The 15-minute Q&A had turned into 35, and we had to go. My mom, completely understanding, said to me, "I'll take your lead." So I slowly got up, planning on at least giving my just-purchased I, Rhoda memoir to the Barnes & Noble coordinator so she could give it to Valerie to sign at a later date. But then something else happened.

Valerie interrupted her Q&A and enthusiastically said, "Oh, honey, did you want me to sign that before you have to leave?" Of course, the entire room turned to look at me and my mom like the only way we ought to be leaving was if our house was on fire.

I quickly said, "Hi, Valerie, it's Jessica Radloff, Todd's cousin, and I'm so sorry, but I actually have an event to cover but wanted to bring my mom to meet you!" And with that, "Oh, yes! Jessica, darling! Come on over! Everyone, Jessica's cousin Todd and I starred on the show City together in the '90s, and Jessica writes for Glamour and has a red carpet to cover! She is so lovely, and she does fantastic work. Come on up, let me meet your mom, and we'll get your book signed."

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. My mom was on another planet at this point.

Valerie—in the middle of HER book signing—took a few minutes out of it to meet my mom, sign our book, and chat. I thought, You know, there is a special place in heaven for people like that. What a saint.

I'm telling you, in all my years of interviewing celebrities, I have never met a more gracious, loving, or delightful person than Valerie Harper.

This is why when I got the news this morning saying she has only a few months to live, I laid in bed quietly crying. What was even more remarkable was that two weeks ago, when we were with Valerie, she had known of her diagnosis for a month already. There was no sign whatsoever that she was ill or that she was dealing with the ultimate fate that we all must face.

People say that it's situations like this that remind you to live life to the fullest and remember what's important. For me, it's not a reminder. It has and will always be a way of life. But what I did learn that night? Don't wait. Don't think there will be another time, another event. That was most likely was the last time I'll see Valerie, and how fitting that I got to share it with my mom.

Valerie, it was all because of you. Thank you for everything.

Photos: Jessica Radloff, Getty Images, Everett Collection

Jessica RadloffWest Coast entertainment writer. Always trying to make each interview more fun than the last. Obsessed with the St. Louis Cardinals, Scott Speedman, Sprinkles cupcakes--and apparently the letter S.