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Saturday, April 29, 2017

Early in the a.m.

Early morning is my favorite time of the day, but it is also sometimes the most challenging, because I still occasionally wake up with a slammer.
Once the animals are fed and medicated, I sit with my coffee and the heating pad on my neck. For some reason, it helps the headache. It usually takes a couple of hours, before I am operational.
I have accepted that it is just a fact of life, grateful that it is not every day.

Miss Puss has neuropathy like DH.......he thumps down the stairs, if he doesn't lead with the right foot. She thumps across the room, and I can't tell which foot it is that is making all the noise.
Diabetes, both of them.
Roy has days of whining and wandering. Then sometimes he runs across the yard and leaps up on the porch like a puppy.
None of us want to give in to this getting older stuff.

I still struggle with the role of having adult children. Where did my little ones go???? It seems like it happened so fast.
Grandkids make it easier, especially 3+ year olds who scream "MIMI!!!" when they see you, and throw their arms around your legs.

Then again, after a whole day of kids, I am exhausted, and wonder how I ever did that. I am happy, content, then, to have a quiet house, and no responsibilities.
Ah, life is strange, my friends.

You can't figure it out ahead of time, and you can't figure it out backwards. Which leaves us TODAY.
The only day we have really.
In the throes of living with my ex alcoholic abusive husband, one of my favorite Al Anon quotes was this one:
"If you ask God to help you with yesterday, it won't happen. Yesterday is not yours.
If you ask God to help you with tomorrow, well, that won't happen either, because it is not yours YET.
If you ask God to help you with today, then you will get what you asked for."

STAY IN THE DAY.

I used to have this tacked over my sewing machine, so many years ago.

Now that ex is long dead, and I survived.
He used to say, " I will make you, or I will break you."
Ha!!!
Guess not.

Every morning, I have a plan. Sometimes it is pretty detailed, and other days not so much.
I am finishing the threading of the AVL, this time in bits ........a little here, and a little there.....my body says so.

I also have dobby bars to peg for my next project.

And I need to get outside to do some yard work. I do it in 20 minute bouts. Once again, bowing to the almighty design of an aging, sometimes falling apart, body.

Then in a couple of days, L and I will be making a 5 hour trip northeast to pick up my NEW TO ME loom. I am so excited.

I know. I don't need another loom. Well, that's what I am told.....but it is not necessarily TRUE.

This will satisfy my desire to play with computerized design on the loom, at a price I can afford. If I don't like it, it will be easy to move it along.
But I am pretty sure I am going to like it, since I play with Fiberworks on my laptop already.
And I just don't have enough dobby bars to keep all the drafts I want on demand.

So having a plan is good. Keeps me moving in the right direction....forward, and not back.

Good morning, Hillary. I appreciate your post, too. I get caught up in worrying about tomorrow. I know that is silly, no one can control the future. But I get sucked in every time. Sigh.

I understand only doing what your body allows...I took a fall last week and am still paying for it. I know I only bruised my ribs, but boy, it sure does hurt! You can't just stop breathing. LOL Have a wonderful weekend.

I can tell you that the headache-I-had-for-a-solid-year.... turned out to be muscle tension in my neck. And it still comes and goes if I don't head the warning my muscles start giving me at the neck/shoulder/upper back level. Makes sense to me that if you tend to your neck, the headaches subsides. You already know that the weaving you do is taxing on it...as is the shit shoveling I do for the horses, etc. Glad you've learned to balance it all - and I, too, have learned to LIVE IN THE DAY - and it's such a gift, isn't it?

I hope to enjoy grandchildren, as you do, some day. NOT TOO SOON, but soon. :-)

I wonder if any family is untouched by alcoholism. It's utterly unpredictable. My ex-husband drank himself to death in a motel room and my current husband, after 30 years, got sober through an intervention and just celebrated his 24th sobriety birthday. My mom always said, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And you are one strong woman!! Though house guests and clamoring grandchildren are best enjoyed in small doses :)

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My favorite source for weaving yarn.

8/2 cotton from Georgia Yarn Co.

About Me

I am an 'older' woman, who refuses to get old. I think I am really twelve, and my family will often agree. I have found my passion in weaving, and have left one career to begin another. What? I don't have all the time in the world???
Get out.