Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

I love the photo of the woman hanging laundry with the vicious bird glaring at her. Possible caption:

"Photo of Mrs. Dimwitty, of Stupid-upon-Numbnuts, seconds before she was disemboweled. She is survived by her son, Retardington, who, at the time of his mother's attack, had his head caught in a mayonaise jar. The washing had to be totally redone."

Australians tend to be very blase about lethal creatures. My uncle (Australian) had a red bellied black - which is an extremely poisonous snake (read: get to the hospital in 20 minutes or less) in his backyard, called the snake guy who dutifully came, captured it and then released it down the block since red bellied blacks are a protected species while humans are not.

So a few birds in the backyard, razor claws or not, at least you have a fighting chance...

Did anyone else click on the picture that mentions what good swimmers they are, only to continue to the next paragraph in the article where "...one recently fell into a backyard swimming pool and had to be rescued. "

A friend of mine in Gainesville had 2 Emu that escaped from their yard, while rounding them up one used its foot and struck my friend in the face and shattered his cheekbone, needless to say, the emu didn't live long after this.

*snork* echo @ punkin.
Retardington Dimwitty, with the mayo jar on his head, is an only child, as this was the family to which the Angels sang,
"Oh, your baby's gone down the drain hole
Your baby's gone down the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin
'E should have been washed in a jug
[In a juuuug]"

Are they merely illustrating what would happen if you hit one with your car? (I think I can figure that out for myself, thanks.) But the After is before the Before -- so maybe they're saying that cassowaries are able rise from the dead? Because they certainly look evil enough to be capable of it.

Wavey, I believe the bottom one is a legitimate large-testy-flightless-bird-crossing sign and the other is a defaced regular sign. I'm afraid the worker who installed them did not have the forsight to see this prank coming or i'm sure he would have rethought his placement.

/begin Dino Dweeb Alert
Cheesewiz -- many paleontologists, including John Ostrom and Bob Bakker have used the way a cassowary fights as a model for dromeosaur (read: raptor) hunting. Sort of like kick-boxing whilst wearing knife-tipped boots. Evidently cassowaries have a reputation for being the zookeeper's worst enemy, disemboweling far more happless animal handlers than all the zoo lions, tigers and bears combined. No wonder Crichton picked their ancient cousins for the bad guys in his book.
/end Dino Dweeb Alert