Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Dottytheists in Protest

A protest was held outside Huntcliffe Doctors' Surgery yesterday by members of the Dottytheist Church in Milton Street. The protest by the Rev. Rollo Bogey and his dog, Spunk, was held in opposition to recent proposals to vaccinate all first year female students at Saltburn High School against cervical cancer.

Holding a large placard emblazoned with the words 'Careful Now', the Rev. Bogey said,"It's basically a sex jab, encouraging the girls to become sexually available. Everybody knows this type of thing is bound to encourage 12 year old girls to become sexually promiscuous and probably force them into prostitution! I know scientists claim that this injection will save 700 lives a year but my deeply held but irrational beliefs tell me the thing we should be doing is trying to stop kids becoming sexually active."

Saltburn Subersives spoke to a number of girls at Saltburn High School about the matter. Rosie Threepwood (11) said "Boys, Ye-euk!" Jenny Wittgenstein, aged 12, was more forthcoming, she said, " I don't like boys, they smell funny!" A sentiment with which Saltburn Subversives can only concur.

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Saltburn Subversives

'A scurrilous and gratuitously offensive attack on my esteemed
organ. And after all my hard work and self sacrifice. For full details of all my hard work and self sacrifice please see any issue of my popular and much loved magazine' -The Editor, Talk of the Town.......................
Talk of the Town.... Raising the industry standard in smugness, croneyism and new age god bothering bollocks.