i need another cup of coffee first

The Plunger Story

The kids love taking baths together. I know it’s only a matter of time before an all-sibling bath becomes “uncool” and the tub just becomes too small to hold them. It already is at capacity when all three kids decide to jump in together. It’s like the clown car of tubs.

Last night was one of those nights when the kids all hopped in the bath together. They enjoy playing with boats and drinking the tub water. (Nothing like a slurry of water and dead skin cells to really quench a toddler’s thirst.) Aili wanted out of the tub first. (I think she is coming down with a cold. Or she drank too much tub water. Whatever.) So, I was getting her dried and dressed while the twins continued to splash around in the tub.

They were making a puddle in the bathroom that made me consider building an ark. But, they were having a blast so, I told them to close the shower curtain and go to town. I forgot that they like to take things three steps further. Always.

As I was getting Aili snuggled in to her bed, I heard something dangerous and decidedly worse than a wet floor.

“Robert! Look! It sticks to your butt!!”

Then I heard something that sounded like a Christmas ham being dropped on a tile floor. (If you have to ask why I know what THAT sounds like, you don’t know me very well.)

Then came peels of laughter.

Then…I was really worried.

I steeled myself and timidly peeked around the corner.

There were my two sopping wet boys, naked as jaybirds, standing in the bathtub. They froze and looked at me with that “Oh no! She caught us!” look on their faces. I looked back and forth between the two of them to figure out who did what. It was then that I noticed Robert had a toilet plunger stuck squarely on his left butt cheek.

A very USED toilet plunger.

In that moment, I stopped to decide what I was going to do. The Salvation Army store doesn’t accept live donations so, that was out. Bleaching them might be considered abuse. Pretending I saw nothing, closing the door, and making a strong drink was a front runner for a long while, I’ve gotta say.

Eventually we all re-animated and I took action by calmly shrieking while grabbing the plunger handle frantically. I momentarily forgot the power of suction so, Robert briefly came with it. I am not sure if it was a fart or an act of God, but he came unstuck before too long.

THAT would have been a fun 9-1-1 call…

I turned the shower on, handed them the soap and told them to wash. A lot. They should still be in there, if you ask me.

The night ended with them being passably clean. (I have serious doubts that ANYONE can be completely clean after bathing with a toilet plunger…) But, now I have a new problem.

13 thoughts on “The Plunger Story”

Oh my god, this was HILARIOUS! Thank you so much for making me laugh out loud today, I really needed it! This is the best story! Wow, now I have the image of a child with a toilet plunger stuck to his butt burned into my mind. But at least I can think about this story and have a laugh whenever I need it! 🙂 I will definitely be sharing this story with people I know, so they can enjoy it too. You have an excellent blog here.

Tina, that’s awesome. Maybe you’ve been at this for a while but I’ve missed it…so glad to see you’re blogging again. You’re hilarious–and you remind me that life is hilarious, too. Hope this finds you well and enjoying everything!

Ah, I miss those days. My grandkids keep giving me a few of those moments today, though. I’m not sure if puking in my mouth is worse than the plunger or not – I’m voting for the plunger – eeeeww!!! lol ~ Angie

Oh, this is fantastic! I have to tell you that, even though I am a parent, I typically do not like reading other people’s kids stories. You spun this perfectly, though! Now moving on to see what other adventures you’ve had.