Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Abundance mentality.

This is one of the biggest secrets to finding and keeping a good life partner. It not only boils down to what you do, but how you think.

Here's what happened.

Some time ago, in my 30's I spent nearly 2 years single. I used to wake up in the morning, leave my expensive house, get into my sports car and drive to my successful engineering business. After work, I went to the health club on my way home, exercised, played squash etc. Often women looked my way and were friendly towards me. Yet I never dated for months on end.

What's wrong with this picture?

I had left a painful relationship, where I had been rejected by my partner daily. So I believed, that no-one would ever love me again, because I was not worth it. This belief came true in my life.

I just didn't think that there was someone out there, interested in me. This of course made it right.

Was it because I was unattractive? Hardly, I had a good build, clear skin, was fit and healthy, and even though I didn't look like Richard Gere, I certainly wasn't ugly.

Was it because I was financially insecure? No, I owned a good business, drove a fancy car and lived in a big house with a view.

So there was nothing physically, causing my problem. It was all in my mind.

Hey, it gets worse. After some counseling and reading lots of books, I actually got to go and take some action to meet some new people. Then when I did find someone, guess how that worked out.

You see, deep down, I still had that limiting attitude, that I was really fortunate to get anyone at all that wanted to be with me. They sensed it like sharks smelling blood in the water. Describing it as that I partnered up with a predator, would have been an understatement.

The person I attracted, was a gold digger, having no scruples about sleeping with whoever she felt like. Was it her fault, yes BUT it was more my fault. I realized that I allowed it to happen in my mind first. I believed that this was the best I could achieve and had to accept that behavior to actually have anyone in my life at all.

Eventually the boundaries of even my twisted logic broke, when she came back after being with another man, drunk and tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.

How could I allow it to get that far? Easy, I didn't understand that I had choices. When I realized that even being alone again was better than my present situation, I did get out of that relationship.

Cutting a long story short, the whole issue was me having the wrong belief system.

It took some time, but eventually, I accepted that I was actually OK, and a lot of women could do far worse than to be in a relationship with me. I now also understood, that there were actually many thousands of potential partners for me.

As soon as I started believing this, it was as though some flood gates had opened. I kept running into potential partners at every turn, and I was off the singles scene very quickly.

All I did differently was that I had now accepted that there is actually a complete abundance in our universe. An abundance of suitable people. It was my choice, to accept or reject this fact. That made the difference. Now my physical actions could lead me to my true desires.

My external surroundings had not changed much, Physically I was the same (except getting a bit older, and not much wiser), but my life had turned 180 degrees. Because I allowed it to. I let my mind accept that anything is possible, and nothing could stand in the way of a strong enough belief.

But, only severe pain brought about this realization.

You can avoid the pain. Understand the above, you have many choices now. They will let you do things in more positive ways. Realize, that life will end up teaching you either way, let it be a pleasant instead of painful lesson.