How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie (moropinzee)

Published September 16, 2013 By
Mark A. Rayner

In honour of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.

The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)

So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?

Monkey

Monkey fools Ninja

Monkey unplugs Robot

Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!

Robot

Robot chokes Ninja

Robot crushes Zombie

Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!

Pirate

Pirate drowns Robot

Pirate skewers Monkey

Suggested noise: arrrrr!

Ninja

Ninja karate chops Pirate

Ninja decapitates Zombie

Suggested noise: keeee-ah!

Zombie

Zombie eats Pirate

Zombie savages Monkey

Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!

There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.

Update: based on a scientific survey of the comments, Twitter and Facebook updates, “moropinzee” seems to be the easiest name for this game to remember. Someone also had the excellent notion that there could be a full-body dance to celebrate a win.

Swirlee.com had an earlier concept, and I’ve come up with the hand signs, graphics and sound effects. (I’ve also seen it on some message boards too, so yeah, a little derivative.) Originally posted in March, 2009.

It’s not immediately apparent to me what the monkey hand sign is supposed to represent, or how people quickly distinguish it from the zombie hand-sign. Maybe if the monkey were gripping a banana? Not very threatening though.

[…] Here’s a new version of rock-paper-scissors (monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie). I’m still trying to figure out how to play this, but I got a feeling that once I do, it will kick ass. Still though, I think it would be cool to work in alternatives like extraterrestrial, Sasquatch, bear, or maybe even giant squid… I dunno, just a suggestion. No vampires though! Vampires Suck! …and not in the way they’d like to. Here’s a link. […]

Why do none of you (with the exception of a select few) realize that this is just the old game of rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock with different names! Hell, they even stole the t-shirt design completely! Twenty points from Gryffindor! This is an outrage, and the author is an outright plagiarizer.

[…] game ever (seriously, Sony and Microsoft must be feeling the squeeze). That man is Mark Rayner at The Skwib. Check it out, they have T-Shirts! linkwithin_text='YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:' TAGS: awesome, […]

June 27, 2010

katelyn

Only Daleks say “Ex-ter-min-ate.” Geez….

June 27, 2010

Bruiser

Re: Buksi’s Eastern Elements Redo:

This kind of Zen rendition is hands-down wrong! This is a violent Western game meant to threaten and intimidate with hand smacks and closed fists.
Quenching, absorbing, and nourishing? That’s for wusses! Rock, paper, & scissors players want smashing and cutting. You are trying to turn hand-to-hand combat into a Gandhi-ass game! Go meditate somewhere else.

I guarantee that one or more of us geeks will memorize the gestures and rules and you’ll see it online during the wait for the next summer blockbuster. It’s silly, it has odd rules, sound effects and obscure film/tv references. Total geek material.

[…] Beyond Rochambeau… There are times when Rock-Paper-Scissors just doesn’t have the… well, gravity that one feels is appropriate to the question being decided. Happily, author and blogger Mark Rayner has ridden to the rescue with an altogether apt alternative: Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie… […]

[…] Rochambeau: Here is the new version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can … The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the […]

[…] to learn how to play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie? No, seriously, do you? Because here’s the page that shows you how (complete with “suggested noises” for each […]

August 13, 2010

Mojo Brown

Saw this in the back of Marvellous Hairy, I have totally got to learn the effects for this. Memorizing this can’t be any harder than solving a Rubik’s Cube! Nothing like adding a bit of dimension to Rock, paper, scissors, classic stuff!

@Dan: Actually, Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate beats Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock because it’s more original, but Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock beats Rock-Paper-Scissors because it is a proper extension, and Rock-Paper-Scissors beats Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate because it is the original.
@Randy: I go for your name, because order does matter. Evan’s order is in keeping with the original, but MoRoNiZeeP is easier to remember.

I’ve been having some success remembering MoPIROninZee. Interesting we all want to start with monkey. It all begins with the monkey…

September 9, 2010

Due Trose

Maybe to go with the fact that it’s the updated ftw version they should be full-body conclusions. Like you do the dance the robot if you pick robot and the typical monkey dance says you’re monkey. Everybody knows the hungry for brains stance, a million martial arts stances and that just leaves the pirate. For which I’d suggest pulling a fake sword from its sheath with an “arrgh!”