Why is being a thankful professional important?…

Last weekend, I was struck again by how important gratitude is. I’d spent most of the weekend – as usual – running around after the kids and sorting things out at home ready for another week. It was busy. Very busy.

In all the rush, my son was doing some revision for his upcoming exams. I made him a drink, put it on the table next to him and went off to do the next thing.

“Thank you”, he said. Very deliberately and very clearly.

The franticness disappeared. Suddenly I was feeling a lot less rushed. Two simple words, “thank you.” That’s all it took.

DEFINITION: Gratitude – the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful. (Dictionary.com)

The role of gratitude in our work…

Like most things, there are two sides to the way we use gratitude; negative and positive.

There is something particularly pejorative about these terms. Which, conversely, maybe partly why being thankful and expressing gratitude can be so powerful.

I believe we should harness this power in our work. If I can be so dis-armed by a simple “thank you” from my son, surely young people might equally be helped by us being grateful.

Expressing our thanks to young people…

Here are some broad areas where we might express our thanks to young people:

Thanking young people for their time – I always make a point of thanking young people for their participation. Even though some of it is mandated (like in youth justice) so they don’t have a choice. Nevertheless, they made an effort when they would probably rather be somewhere else. We should give credit where it’s due and express this to troubled kids.

Thanking young people for their honesty – we probably never get the whole truth. But we do hear some pretty sensitive, even life-defining disclosures, confessions and accounts during our work. It costs children to share these with us. Being thankful and acknowledging this is important. It honours what they entrust to us.

Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone. (Gertrude Stein; 1874-1946)

Thanking young people for their flexibility – I’ve written beforeabout the need to apologise to kids when we change arrangements or miss appointments. But equally, I think it’s a good thing to thank them when they accommodate us in these ways. It’s worth remembering that we are here to serve them, not the other way around.

Thanking young people for their input– not just in work sessions, but in their general participation. For expressing their views and for responding to our inquiries and questions. We ask a lot of the children we work with. Remembering and being grateful for their responses to this is appropriate. It’s good manners too!

Two other benefits of expressing gratitude…

If all that weren’t enough, there’s more:

It flattens out the power structure – by expressing our thanks, we effectively say, “you’re important, you matter and I appreciate it.” This affords young people a degree of power they wouldn’t otherwise have – or at least it gives away a little of our own professional power. It levels the playing field a little.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. (William A. Ward)

It offers young people respect– saying thank you is to say, “I owe you” or “I needed that.” By implication we are elevating the young person’s status. In doing so we move things onto a more even footing. In effect, we introduce a degree of equality. At least a greater equality than is usually the case.

This is the nub of it for me.

As professionals we are required to empower young people whenever we can. This extends beyond the obvious things like participation in decision-making – though this is important. It should extend the other way, too. To the small things. To those everyday interactions.

Being thankful and expressing it is a small but important way of empowering young people.

Being thankful and expressing it is a small but important way of empowering young people. Jonny Matthew

Pass it on…

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. Cheers, JM.

Post navigation

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leonna Anderson

children with low esteem and lack of confidence need to be praised for all the good they do /children cant deal with negativity especially if they have done wrong /all they need is for some one to understand and put there arms around them and say im here and i will get you through this

jonnymatthew

This is very true, Leonna! It would make a great blog post on its own – “The Importance of Praise…” Thanks for commenting! Cheers, J.

Get Your Free eBook…

Sign up to get my blog posts by email and get your FREE copy of my little eBook "Connecting With Troubled Young People."

Privacy guarantee: I won't share your name or email address with anyone. That's a PROMISE!