Friday, April 29, 2011

As we all know, today is a beautiful day...
How can anyone possibly be negative on such an amazing day?!

Well some people are really good at it...

There is one driving move that I will never understand that occurs quite frequently here on the cape; the "Im going to stick myself out like a jackass until someone lets me go, and then yell and swear at everyone that doesn't stop the normal flow of traffic to allow me in"

Don't get me wrong, I am a huge jackass like that when I drive, but come on people COMMIT!! If you are going to be a jerk just do it, don't half ass it and pull out half way making people drive around you instead of causing a huge accident to slam on their brakes to let you go
Furthermore, don't say things like this out your window:
"Well you could have let me go!!"
No, sorry I couldn't; I am obligated not to let pansies like you out into traffic to cause massive death and destruction with your wimpy indecisive ways... Have a BEAUTIFUL weekend!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

It really blows my mind how I havent posted in days but I still am averaging 20+ hits a day... Thanks guys for not having lives! My self esteem depends on you!... Only not really... but that probably made you feel needed and wanted and loved right?

Monday, April 25, 2011

So, I dont think I will get around to doing my glass recap. Partly because I am far too important and busy today to take some pictures. But incase you were wondering I was working on a shell with some holly and a ribbon to sell to some lovely rich people. Its exciting and totaly worth all of their dollars.
Now just to find said rich people with lots of dollars...

And on that note, I will leave you with a cryptic message...
shit is about to go down!

Friday, April 22, 2011

As promised here, I took pictures of the toilets in the hotel rooms in Ireland just to bug you with an annoying post. I think I missed the hotel in Cork though. Also it should be noted that Ireland is extremely green so all of these toilets are those water saving low flow flush kind
Enjoy!
:-D

This hotel was crazy ^^ it was a handicapped hotel room, and I am not even going to get into that insinuation, but the entire bathroom was like a gigantic shower, I totally danced and sang and had myself a good ole time

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Ok, so I've been single for just over a year now, and before that I was in some not so awesome relationships, but who hasn't been there. Since then I have been on various dating sites, resulting in all kinds of ridiculous dates, getting some of the strangest emails from people, and in some instances, have been completely horrified by some of the profiles out there. I am actually attempting to get all of my stories, theories, rants, whatever you want to call them, together, and write a book. There are some pretty shitty books out there that have been published, so I figure I got a shot.
On countless profiles I have seen men claim that romance is not dead, and they go right by their women, and treat them like princesses and blah blah blah *Puke*.I don't know how or when or why this happened but for some reason, so many men out there think they are Gods gift to the planet just because they held open a door for a girl, and paid for their $4 dollar beer on the first date. That's nice and everything, but I don't think when a couple that has been happily married for 50+ years is asked how it all started, their answer was "Well, he paid for my beer that one time".... That would be a really very sad story in my personal opinion.
I blame this all entirely on my mother of course, but I am a complete romantic at heart. I don't know why because in all the time that I have been around, I have never really gotten to witness many truly romantic stories. With the exception of my mother, I don't know many other people besides myself that live in a world of romance and hope and grand gestures. But of course all this occurs in my head, on the pages of a book, or on a movie screen, because despite what those profiles claim, romance is dying.
And what happened to it anyway? The love notes, the flowers, talking in a car all night in the middle of a rain storm, or for that matter, just flat out being nice to one another.
There are so many romantic comedies, and romance novels that depict these things in great detail, but its all us women seeing them or reading them. Why? Because there is something tragically missing from our lives. I am all for being a strong independent woman and doing things for myself. Hell, I think it would be fantastic if I could be the breadwinner, and my someday husband cares for my someday children. Hows that for modernity? But that doesn't mean that we sacrifice the romance. And I also want to point out that I think this is a very two way street, so this is not entirely hating on men. I have completed countless small gestures, crafts, baking, you name it, in the desperate hope that the guy will get the hint and return the favor.
Maybe my problem is I hope that I can teach them when we are way too far into the game, or I got to them when they have already been ruined and turned cynical by some other crazy woman.
In any case, as I go through the roller coaster of being convinced I am going to die alone, in the auntie brigade forever, to being blindly and completely in lust for someone, I still cling desperately to the hope that there is a shred of romance out there. I believe it because I've felt the spark. That "holy crap, how have I been living with out this person in my life for so long" butterflies driving to their house, weak knees at a phone call, breath completely taken away by a kiss, feeling. The ending to that story doesn't really matter, as someone once told me "it was the right feeling with the wrong person". The point is that I've felt it. I've been in a world seen through those rose colored glasses and I fully believe I can have it again. It was short lived, and I got really hurt in the end, but I got some of the kind of romance people write about. So maybe I am not stuck in the wrong time period because I have felt it and I know with out a doubt it will happen again.
But until then I have to muddle through emails like this one:
"Hey baby, do you work at hooters? I really love the wings there, maybe you could bring some over and then we'd really have something going" True story, hows that for a romantic gesture.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

... only not really... I just still haven't decided how I feel about everything that happened... If I should be mad, scared or in awe... but anywho....
I don't think I could hate hair elastics more than I have in the past week... Which is a lot of hate because some of them I am allergic to. I am allergic to latex and rubber, so certain hair elastics give me hives and have on occasion made my eyes swell shut... and I hate them more right now due to the following story, than when my eyes were swollen shut and I was in bed on lots of drugs and completely miserable and disgusting...

For some unknown reason, Vegas has become completely ridiculously obsessed with hair elastics. Its actually a really huge problem. Hes hidden them under the stove, put them in the toilet, and recently has taken to shredding them to pieces and eating them. Lately I have been super good about keeping them away from him, but between forgetting in the middle of the night, and traveling and other random situations, I had run out and bought some more. I then... because I have been living in a rats nest... threw the package on the ground, hoping that since it was on this nice cardboard sleeve, that he would leave them alone...

I was incredibly mistaken, and the following events never would have ever in a million years crossed my mind..

One morning I was sitting in the living room drinking my coffee and waking up when I see Vegas doing the "I just killed something and I am so freaking proud that I am going to parade it around the house until someone notices" walk. You totally know what I'm talking about, the one where they look like they have grown about an inch and their ears are pointing straight up and their pupils are HUGE... yeah that walk... so I chased him around only to find that he was carrying around the little sleeve of hair elastics... so I took it back and put it in this drawer....

So then, about 3:00 am rolls around, and I can hear him playing in my room but I cant figure out what hes doing. Turn on the light and he has about 10 hair elastics scattered around him and hes happy as a crack addict that just scored. Soo I go about collecting said hair elastics and putting them in another drawer, but I cant find the cardboard sleeve so I said F*ck it and go back to bed cause its 3 am and this whole thing is absolutely ridiculous. So then another half hour goes by and hes still roaming around and playing with shit. I finally get back up and hes got MORE hair elastics but I still can not find any evidence of said sleeve. So at 3:30 in the morning I begin cleaning my room. By about 4:00 I get everything situated, find the hair elastics and put them in this drawer....

And it should be noted that the shelf above it at the time was completely packed to the brim with all my tank tops, so much so that I couldn't find space for anything else and had to leave a small pile of t-shirts on the floor, which is how my room got to be such a rats nest in the first place but that's another story for another day....
So then I CLOSED the closet doors like this...

This is about the time my windows started leaking which I talked about here
So after all this bullshit I finally get to bed, probably around 4:30, and try to sleep...
And this is where shit gets crazy...
Vegas opens the closet doors, climbs up into the tshirt stuffed shelf, opened the drawer, pulls out the entire sleeve of hair elastics, and jumps down and just looks at me like "What?"
Um... Really?
At that point I was seriously considering giving him up for adoption because it was 4:30 in the morning and I wasn't up because I was out having fun with my friends but because my cat was being a huge d-bag, but then I realized that even if my heart really did grow so icy and void of love that I could give away my cat, I would probably feel terrible for inflicting that poor family with the monster that is Vegas....
(The night didn't end there mind you, but its not nearly as entertaining)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

You know how when your cats being a huge d bag, and playing in just about everything possible, and chewing on computer wires, and eating hair elastics... literally ripping them to shreds and eating them, and jumping on your back, and attacking your feet when you walk and opening closet doors on his own and doing just about EVERYTHING possible to make you not sleep for four days and it makes you so completely insane you wind up cleaning your room at 4:30 in the morning in order to hide all of the elastics because if he makes you miss another night of sleep again you might accidentally leave the back door open for way too long, and he might accidently find himself outside with the hawks and foxes and coyotes and then while your cleaning your room you come to find that your house is leaking, again, particularly through your bedroom windows, again, and dripping onto literally all of the precious books you own, again and your parents only solution is to put a towel on the window ledge but the towels are too big and it falls off about a bajillion times before it stays, but about five minutes later its too water logged in one spot so you have to keep on moving it around it which makes it fall off a bajillion more times? Yeah I really hate that too, and that's how a towel can be a douche bag.

Friday, April 15, 2011

For all... ten of you... who religiously read this blog... sorry I've been MIA for a few days.... Lots of crazy stuff is going down this week. The good news is I am an auntie to a gorgeous little girl, the not so great news is I may or may not need to make a career change for a little while, which combined with other stressful things like being to lazy to go running means my brain is like this...

Which is not very conducive to me being an idiot...

More not so good news, I will be harassing everyone once again come next Monday with new posts! I think there is one in there about toilets... and also about me being incredibly awkward with some really attractive Irish man... and as my stats show me, the stories where I am awkward and embarrassing do the best, so stay tuned for that one

So anyway, I drew you a picture to get you through the weekend....

Ok... so... I dont REALLY know when Easter is... I kind if just look for the Boston Marathon/School vacation and assume its somewhere around there... So.... There yah go.... I might do something else for us non-religious/non-Easter celebrating people, but we shall see how politically correct I am feeling....

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I don't know where this intense hatred started, or what traumatic event triggered it, but I really, REALLY dislike bicycles.
First off, I don't know where bike riders got their information, but "share the road" does not mean that they can swerve wherever they damn well please and hope us motorists wait patiently for them to get the hell out of the way. Sometimes I think bike riders are more dangerous than some drivers. In fact I was passenger in a car that was once hit by a bike rider... true story...
Anywho, back to my irrational fears... I am terrified of riding a bike, and if I for some reason ever loose my license, I refuse to make a bike my main mode of transportation. I know there are people like me out there driving down the road all happy as a clam when they happen upon a bicyclist and it takes all the will power in the world not to run them over. They may even jerk the wheel a little. So next time your riding your bike down the road, and you notice some cars swerving around a bit, its not because they are trying to avoid you. Its because it takes every fiber of their being not to run you down. We're out there, be afraid, be very afraid

I have been put on this planet simply for the purpose of entertaining others, at my expense of course.

The other day I drove out to Sandwich to speak to a glass artist, which is an entirely different story for another day. I realized about 5 minutes into my trip that I definitely needed gas ASAP. After speaking with the artist I went across the street to a HESS which I never go to. When I pull in I notice a truck pulled off to the side, and the engine is running but I cant see into the car to see if someone is in it.
So there I am acting like hot shit, trying to get the pump working.... and it wont start... so I get a little upset, throwing my hands up secretly hoping someone will help me... So I moved to the next pump cause I heard the attendant saying they've been having problems, so maybe it wasn't me and it's just the pump being stupid...

So again I put my card in and try to get it going... still not working... so I storm into the gas station and say "Ok so maybe I'm just being a total air head but I cant get the pump to work". So he tells me this weird explanation that the pumps are having a problem with debit cards and run it through as credit.

I do what he says... STILL not working. By this point I am talking to my self, swearing, arms flailing, very obviously pissed off and definitely about to go find a new gas station cause obviously HESS sucks and none of their pumps work...

A nice man then comes over and asks if I got it to work yet.... and then flips the little lever under where the pump rests when its not in use... right next to the huge START/STOP sign....

Friday, April 1, 2011

I typically don't use this to complain. I think I randomly combusted sometime around Valentines day but there were evil forces at work that week.

My lack of having my own store has gotten exponentially more frustrating today. Sometime close to when I decided I was going to go for it, a new tenant rented a space on Main st. One I had my eye on. My bubble deflated considerably but I still kept truckin...

I have tried to stay optimistic, and in good spirits, wishing them the best.. I even looked past the fact that they were painting with spay paint and fuming up our store... but today was opening day

They have been blasting techno/club music for about two hours now, which we can hear through the walls. Typically I am not that frustrated by such things... but I am being a 2 yr old right now... I wanted that space, and I most definitely would not be blasting ridiculous music. It should have been mine

Oh well, Its not and that sucks but whatever... its out of my system and I am done now...

So every other week we have family dinner night on Sunday night. This week my brother and his wife and her sister came to visit so we did it Saturday night so they wouldn't miss dinner before they left on Sunday. These dinners also include a new recipe, most of the time, in order to "broaden our horizons" or whatever. So we had Fireman's chicken spaghetti dinner. We all sat down served ourselves and began eating.

About two minutes into the dinner I was all like "hmm its good, but what in it tastes sweet?"

"Oh well it says to use corn flakes"

cooking isn't really a strong suit in our family....

Happily the use of frosted flakes worked out well for this meal, and we all decided that it doesn't really need to be changed in the future...