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Friday, January 7, 2011

Friday's (Unmerited) Favor

I want to start off this series by going back to the day I began to have an inkling of what grace means. At this point, I only have a very loose grasp on it. There's still so much to be learned about this one little word. I hope you'll join me on this endeavor to learn as much about grace as possible in 2011.

By 2007, I had repented of my sin against God and wanted to live an obedient life. But I was constantly plagued with memories of what I'd done, of people I'd hurt. I felt like my mind was being tormented daily. I would read my Bible, and find short periods of relief. I began to believe that was the price I'd have to pay for what I'd done...a never-ending consequence. I knew that God had forgiven me, and I wanted to move forward with life in Him, but I felt stuck in my memories.

One particularly awful day, I sat in my recliner, reading my Bible. I don't remember what I was reading...probably one of David's psalms...but I became completely overwhelmed with memories images of what I'd done. I dragged myself upstairs to my bedroom, closed the door, dropped to my knees, and sprawled face-down on the floor. I began to weep uncontrollably. I begged God to take the images from my mind. I told Him I couldn't live every day of the rest of my life with my mind in such torment. I told Him I was laying down all those memories, images and hurt at the foot of the cross. I didn't care what He did with them; I didn't want them anymore.

In that instant, I literally felt a weight lifted from my shoulders, from my mind. I walked out of my room, knowing a transformation had taken place. God had taken what I laid down at the foot of the cross and cast them from me. He, in His merciful grace, gave me a new chance at life. In His grace, He freed me from the memories I deserved. I'd sinned horribly...I deserved deserve to be reminded on a daily basis of the horrible things I did. Yet He allows me to live in Him in freedom. His grace is greater than my sin. His grace is sufficient for me.

What was the moment in your life when you first began to have an idea of what grace means?

2 comments:

Every once in a while I feel that God allows me little "blips" of seeing what grace really is. In those moments I am almost overwhelmed... I truly think if we could fully grasp it, like you, we would be on the floor in His presence. It's because of grace that I'm saved.... unmerited favor. Amen!! *warm hugs*

Peggy, how I wish I had a firm grasp. That is the goal! Somedays, the grasp is so loose that I feel I am slipping back into "prison." I agree, if we ever truly fully grasp it, we may never stand up straight again! Thank you for your comment!!