Oh goodness this was so cute! I love Neville and it absolutely tears me in two what he has to go through. I think Neville here is really coming into his own and I like that he has a moment where he realises he doesn't have to be his dad, he can be his own person and that's okay. His mixed thoughts about Luna were dead cute, I liked what you did there. Also, it was so cute in the Room of Requirement when they all congratulated him... he really deserves it. He came on so much in his fifth year and I really feel like you captured that... great job!

Lauren :)
House cup review 2014

Author's Response: Hiya!

Haha, thanks. Neville is one of the sweetest characters and I think someone could make seven books about him even if he's not the Chosen One. Obviously this isn't that long, but I thought he deserved something and the prompt was too good to pass up. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Karou, flamey, what are you doing with my feels, can you please not! (let us imagine there are many question marks behind that question haha, my keyboard is being weird and not letting me type any punctuation that is not an exclamation mark, comma, or period... so sad. Oh this also means I will be speaking without contractions.. sad...

First of all, I love the way you have written Harry. He is so true to JKRs Harry Potter we knew in the books... but you have taken him and just done so much more. this can be a total extra scene in the OrderoP, as it is so well written!

Man, I love the idea behind this. Neville is so cool,and when he was talking about Luna, I think that really paved the way for how Neville thought of himself, and how his own confidence had increased in such small time, because he was not being bullied or put down by any one, and that people were actually admiring him!

I have to say, if you allow me to, since the swap and this story, you have... wow. Your writing has improved SO MUCH KAROU! If you keep at it... yo, you are going to be one of the best writers on this site, I promise you.

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Nadia, I don't even know how to respond to this. Can you please not? (I'm kidding, please go on being your awesome self)

Ahh thank you!! You are too kind...really...

I'm so happy you like the way I've done Harry, he is one of the hardest and probably scariest characters to write (except maybe Dumbledore and Snape). Neville is really cool! I love him and the fact that people like this so much means a lot to me because it means I was able to do Neville (some) justice.

Oh, no, don't say that! awfnskjhiuzhkjnsdj thank you so much! Excuse me while I go do the happy dance!!

Hi, Karou! Trying to wedge in a few more reviews before bed. So without further ado:

House Cup 2014 Review

With that out of the way, I liked the way you characterized Neville here. He's at that point in his life where he's finally starting to gain a bit of self-confidence and step out of the long shadow of his parents that he grew up in. Neville's always struck me as a guy who had to be pretty strong. His grandmother didn't give him any other choice. Here he gets a nice little moment to shine in front of the group, and he handles it the right way. He enjoys his success, but he doesn't go all "Aw, shucks!" over it. He's starting to expect to succeed.

In the corridor where they were being stalked by Mrs. Norris -- you have a typo in her name, by the way -- he assumed a leadership role. He gets them all safely back to the common room. Another small milestone for him.

The scene with his parents' picture was touching and poignant. You handled it really well, with a lot of sensitivity and finesse.

Aw, this was such a cute story. I loved the fact that you chose to write about Neville for this prompt about overcoming adversity. He's one of my favourite characters from the series and I really loved your characterisation of him. This portrayal was just spot on for me, from the character that we've seen all through the books. I think you showed Neville's insecurities really well here and at the same time you were able to show the braver side to him, and at this point he's also the boy who wants to be braver, who wants to be more like Harry. The ending of this piece worked really well to show that Neville could become the person he wants to be now he's accepted the person that he is.

I loved the friendship that you showed between Neville and Harry in this piece as well because it's great to show them together as friends, and the way that Harry takes care of Neville as he can, but without pity. And the part with the photograph was so cute as well!

I mean, we don't know everything that happened at the DA meetings, but I think that you pretty much kept it canon all the way through. I'm sort of scared to write about canon characters because I'm afraid of getting them wrong, so I applaud you for taking on that challenge! :D

Neville seems to be showing some of his leadership skills that will later emerge in his seventh year. It's awesome that he was the one who stood up to Mrs. Norris, taking the initiative to protect everyone else in his group. He might not realize it as much right now, but he definitely deserves to be in Gryffindor.

One thing--at one point, you wrote "Mrs. Morris" instead of "Mrs. Norris." But I knew what you meant and that was the only typo that I saw, so it's really not a big deal. :)

This was a really beautiful coming-of-age type story. You really got into Neville's thought processes very well, exploring his thoughts and feelings.
I thought the part about how Harry had probably received enough pity in his life, which is why he did not extend that pity to Neville was really fantastic, and very accurate. My favourite part though, for sure, was Neville talking about Luna. I really love how much he admires her, I think that says a lot about him.
This was a fabulous story of Neville finding himself. His character growth was one of my favourites by far in the books, he really came into his own, and you wrote that here fabulously.

I think Neville is often written really wrong in Hogwarts Era stories. I've never tried because I think he's a really difficult character to get right, it's so easy to make him this blundering idiot, but you haven't at all. You've totally understod his character and given him that brave Gryffindor side to him that he always had. Yes, he was brave when he gut off Nagini's head and rebelled against the Carrows etc, but he was brave all the way through too. Heck, him just going to potions classes with Snape was brave! That side of him really comes across in this because he is so determined to get the spells right so that he can fight and avenge his parents.

The glimpse of the DA class was amazing, I actually had to read it a couple of times and try to work out of the quotes were taken from the books, it felt that canon. Zacharius complaining that the Gryffindors go first all the time was something I could imagine him doing, it was just one of the little details that made this story so perfect.

I got so teary when he was talking to the photo of his mum and dad at the end and I just love the idea that he decided he didn't need to be like his father and live up to everything his Gran wanted him to be!

This really was just an amazing, beautifully written entry!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review.

Author's Response: Can I just start by saying I LOVED this review. I can't stop smiling.

Thank you so much! You've basically summed up my view of Neville, haha. He does love his parents, very deeply, but he would like to be his own person too.

No, it's not canon - I re-read OotP and it doesn't even mention Neville casting a corporeal Patronus. However, I'm glad I didn't make Zacharius too overbearing.

Is it weird that I'm glad you were teary? I mean, I'm glad it evoked some emotions ;)

Aw, what an excellent idea! I've never read anything from Neville's POV before, and I found this super interesting.

All of the characters were written well, as far as I'm concerned. I like how Neville doesn't pity Harry, he'd probably one of the few that has always sort of stuck by him no matter what, but it does make sense in a way, especially considering he could have been the one in Harry's place.

I like how you showed a slightly more confident side to Neville, how he sticks up for Harry's decision to send Gryffindor out first. I think it really shows his growth as a person from his first year, when he was a trembling, stuttering little boy. Well done.

The part at the end nearly made me cry. It's so sweet how he was talking to his parents' photograph, just like if they had actually been sitting there with him. This is totally something I can see Neville doing, as he is sweet and caring at heart.

Overall amazing job. I didn't really notice any spelling or grammar errors, and you managed to stay true to the character. Keep up the good work!!!

--- House Cup 2014 Review---
Pretense of Perfection, Gryffindor, Educational Decree Number One

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks :) I think Neville has had enough pity to last a lifetime, because of his parents and Snape being such an awful bully.

A lot of people reduce Neville to his first-year, terrified-of-Snape self when actually by 5th year he's a lot more confident and determined. I'm glad I portrayed him successfully.

He feels more connected with the photograph Alice and Frank, rather than the real Alice and Frank, because they look so much more alive and happy like he wants them to be.

Aw, I absolutely loved reading this, especially the ending moment! I really loved the simple plot here and I thought you wrote about the Dumbledore's Army session really well. What I particularly liked in this story was your characterisation of all the characters. The trio and other major characters such as Neville are often really hard to write well and perfect given how much we know about them and how familiar we are with them. However, I thought you did such a good job with them here, they really felt canon and in character to me. The other thing I loved about this story was, as I mentioned earlier, the ending moment - I just loved Neville's thought process while he looked at the photo of his parents. When hew as talking to the photo... that was just so heartbreaking and sad, even though I'm so glad he comes to the realisation that he's fine with himself. I found that part just so powerful and really expressed the emotions Neville must've been feeling so accurately (inadequacy, but ultimately, accepting himself). All in all, really enjoyed reading this, I thought you wrote this really well! :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks very much :) I'm so glad I managed to get Neville et al right, because as you say it's difficult to get the major characters right.

It's the kind of thing I imagine Neville doing. He must have had photos, right? I was re-reading OotP and I figured that was the year he started to accept who he was. The DA helped him more than Harry realised, I think.

Hello there! This is DarkRose from Ravenclaw House on the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2014! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: What a sweet story! I really like that you've taken the prompt and shown Neville's journey so well. I was so proud when he was achieving so many things, and I know his parents would have been proud of him. You showed that really well.

Characterization: I liked the strength of your Neville. Rather than being sort of bumbling and not very smart, you made him successful and brave and interesting. I loved that. And I loved that you showed his growth so well.

Descriptions: I would have loved to see even more details about how things looked, sounded, smelled, felt, etc. We didn't get many of those descriptions, and I really think they would have helped to bring the story to life.

Emotions: Neville's sadness at not having his parents there for him came across really well, but there was also an amount of...I don't know, like...he was okay with it. Which I especially liked. He was okay on his own, though he would prefer if he could have them there. And that made him even more interesting and realistic.

I loved the subtle mention of Luna's uniqueness and how Neville also wants to be unique. That was so well done. Great job. Overall, this was a really sweet story and I liked it a lot. Well done and good luck to Gryffindor in the House Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so sorry for taking this long to reply.

Thank you! I think we're all very proud of Neville, at least I am, and not just for what he did in the final battle.

I think with the Harry-vision we have through the books, Neville is always this sort of scared-in-potions, feel-bad-for-him character we don't get to see much. Some people seem to forget that he didn't suddenly become brave in seventh year, he was always like that.

Oh dear, descriptions. Thanks for letting me know!

In my headcanon, the DA was part of him accepting who he was (it is in canon too, but more so in my head) and that his parents weren't going to get better anytime soon. So he comes to terms with it, although he always wants them back.

Thank you very much! Well done to Ravenclaw for winning, you guys were machines!