Heya Lia, how's it going gorgeous? I've finally gotten around to reading this (sorry about how long it took me) and I have to say I like it a lot :) It was well constructed and the song fitted beautifully. I did see a few spelling mistakes here and there though, but nothing drastic, same with run on sentences which need a little attention.

I loved the scene where he dropped the ring down the sink, that was very powerful and moving and made me feel really sad, so well done. It engaged my fullest attention and I thought it was very powerfully written.

Anyways, my pizza just finished cooking so I'm off to eat that, well done Lia and thank you so much for dedicating this one to me, you're far to sweet :D sorry I took a while in reading it though, the point is I did :) Love ya gorgeous! :D Kate xoxo

Author's Response: hey kate i'm so glad you liked this! that is absolutly fantastic! i swear i did check for spelling errors, damn, i'll have to go over that again...

ha i actually only put that scene in at the last minute, i needed someway to finish the story and that was the first thing i thought off! glad i'm doing something right ;p

wow, i had pizza for lunch too! woah freaky ;p

oh it's no problem hun i was writing this and thought 'kate will like this i'll dedicate it to her' i'd been meaning to dedicate one to you for a while anyway, ever since you dedicated irony... to me, which i absoulutly love btw!

hi! its me from the forums! i wanted my 200th review to go to a good home and it definatley is!

wow! this is exactly what i was hoping for! it's amazing! the pace was good and the song words were in the right places throughout the story.

You could really feel a connection with Sirius even though you've never been in a situation like that! The thoughts going through his mind, i felt like i wanted to grab him and tell him everything would be ok. This story really shows the true horror that is Azkaban.

I nearly about the proposing part! it was written fantastically and when he moved on :(:( :( now i hate Peter more.

`far worst then if the was lying in the ground. ` i would change this to: far worse than if SHE was lying in the ground. but apart from that i couldn't find any other typos.
I totally love this story and am going to give it the 10/10 it deserves!
well done!

Author's Response: oh thankyou! i absolutly love this song and i'm so glad that it fitted with the story!

i really wanted to show what being is Askaban can do to you, and from the sounds of it i achieved that! thank you so much, that means the world.

i actually didn't have any idea of a wedding at first but then as i was writing it just kind of happened! i'm so glad i ended up keeping it, i think it adds, a kind of finality to the story and i am glad you liked it!

OK so you requested a review from me at the forums, so sorry for the lateness, but better late then never right? Anyway you're in luck I love this song! :D

1) Organization and spacing: Very well done, everything's clear and there's no room for confusion. No deficit of spacing or overuse of spacing, so that's full marks here ;) (2/2)

2) Paragraphs and pacing: There are a few huge paragraphs, these really aren't a big problem, just split them in parts and they'll not be a problem anymore. You're going at a good pace, fast enough to feel like we're going with his with Sirius's train of thought but just slow enough to be able to enjoy it (1/2)

3) Length: It's a bit too short, I don't think that it would tale a lot to straighten that out, just the occasional line here or there(0/1)

4) Grammar and Spelling: Very good, no horrific grammar mistakes , no catastrophic punctuation, and no applying spelling, congratulations, you have done what hardly anybody can learn to do (spell) :p full marks here too (2/2)

5) Characterization and Writing style: I loved how you wrote Sirius, he was so real, I could just picture him in his cell agonizing over everything that had happened to him, what else did he have to do? The language you used seemed to be very good, very romantic, and at some points really poetic. A very well earned (2/2)

So you have a final result of (8/10)

General Comments

What I really liked was the irony of how the memories that had brought him so much pain and agony were the very ones that were keeping him from loosing his mind, that's just beautifully ironic.

The song was just a great addition to a grim one-shot, it just helped get the reader to understand how much Sirius loved her and missed her.

It was very beautifully done, with very minor mistakes, a job well done, if I do say so myself ;) I hope this helped, sorry for the shortness.

Cheers,
Magic

Author's Response: OMG Magic!

thankyou so much this was just the type of review i wanted! where i could see where i went wrong!

i'm glad you think i can spell, because i don't think i can, ;p

thankyou, i'm not really sure what else to say but i'm glad that you thought it was good and that the song fitted the story and sirius was well written. it means alot *hugs* thanks hun

I think its a brilliant story, and that you really captured Sirius. The emotions you got across were really good and I think you got what he would be feeling spot on. I think the song does fit pretty well yup and the story did make sense. There were a few speeling mistakes that I spotted, you said 'she made him hole' or something to that effect when this should be whole, as whole means complete or everything and hole means a gap or like there was a hole in the ground. Again, there was another little mistake, you said his 'holy' top, this means his religious top, but I presumed you meant a top with holes in which whould be holey. Other than that, I didn't spot amyhting, those just stuck out at me. Good story, I think you portrayed Sirius well keep it up!