A woman claims that cast members of MTV’s “The Real World D.C.” got her drunk and kicked her out of the show’s house after she refused to have sex with a cast member, then called her a “hot mess,” and “that ugly girl,” and indicated on the show that she “was mentally unstable.”

I missed this episode because I tend to find better uses for my time; I was probably swimming in the ocean or building a factory. Anyway, Amirmotazedi’s camp claims that the consent form was signed while she was drunk and thereby invalid. I can’t really offer a shred of legal insight here, but I hope MTV has to pay up. If they do, maybe they’re less likely to pay man-children to feed liquor to barely-21 women until they don’t know which street they’re on.

Pictured are the two bros in question, Andrew and Josh. Andrew, who apparently just got his hair cut by a ceiling fan, looks like a Salvador Dali painting of Janet Reno. Josh, meanwhile, went to a barber and said, “yo, make my head look like Jan Stenerud’s football helmet, only keep it black because I am a Raiders fan because I am lamer than the day is long.” Yes, now the two of you are the targets of half-hearted ad hominem insults. Drown your sorrows in Bacardi Silver. It tastes like candy, bros! Why you wanna drink that bitter shiznozz when you can drink this? Plus, you can just twist off the cap.

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This may make me shallower than these two fuckwads, but “Golzar” is a hideously unattractive name.

By: Enrico Pallazzo

05.05.2010 @ 3:07 PM

Nobody harrasses Golzar The Golzarian and gets away with it!

By: BadKarma

05.05.2010 @ 3:07 PM

“Say my name!”

“uh…Gollum?”

“NO! It’s GOLZAR!”

By: BadKarma

05.05.2010 @ 3:07 PM

GOLZAR SMASH

By: Gfunk

05.05.2010 @ 3:21 PM

Real World, when people stop being polite and start being date rapey.

By: La Schmoove

05.05.2010 @ 3:23 PM

What? No douchecat?

By: BadKarma

05.05.2010 @ 3:26 PM

She was fed alcohol? How? Was she force-fed like those poor, hapless ducks in foi gras production? Did they sneak the alcohol in her food?

By: La Schmoove

05.05.2010 @ 3:36 PM

Golzar the Golzarian… good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

/Stanz’d

By: Dirty Sanchez

05.05.2010 @ 3:46 PM

Left: Twink

Right: Power Bottom

By: Smegga

05.05.2010 @ 3:59 PM

Where is Sombrero Cat?

You have ruined Cinco de Mayo Matt!

By: Jon Bois

05.05.2010 @ 4:04 PM

sorry, it’s actually me who is ruining Cinco de Mayo. i am Photoshop-stupid.

By: Smegga

05.05.2010 @ 5:05 PM

Whoops, I started drinking a little early today. Sorry Jon Bois, but do get working on photoshop.