Tag Archives: mother in law

In India, marriage is not just a bond between the couple but the entire families. Especially in the context of women, they are supposed to build a strong bond with in-laws even if it calls for going an extra mile to please them; though men are still relieved from such expectations. Not to mention, a good bond or a not-so-good bond with in-laws can have a direct impact on your relationship as a couple and on your marriage too.

Since in most of the families mother-in-law would have played the key role binding the family together, influencing the family decisions, handling the chores and doing what all it takes to create a family, hence it becomes all the more important to build a good rapport with her to establish your own position in the new family. In most probability, she can be and will be the one who will help you adjust and settle in the family after marriage.

Here are a few tips to befriend your mother-in-law.

1) Understand her expectations

The way you have certain expectations from your new family and in-laws, they too have certain expectations from you. They are the ones who were instrumental in making your marriage materialize and they will be more than happy to be with you in all odds and evens, provided you respect their expectations. Though the efforts have to be from both ends to make the things work yet no harm in initiating the first step.

2) Respect and admire her

Do respect her for the simple reason that she is your husband’s mother, and now yours too. She has been taking care of your husband since the time he was born till the date you got married to him and that deserves an admiration. Do acknowledge her efforts throughout these years. Once you start showing respect and appreciating her for what all she has done, she is sure to develop a soft corner for you too.

3) Offer Support Carefully

Believe it or not, there are few MILs who want their DILs to be fully involved in household chores from the day one whereas on the contrary there are few who are a bit possessive about their home and kinds of stuff they do and might not release responsibilities so quickly. It is better to understand their psyche and act accordingly. Too much of eagerness to offer support to a MIL possessive about her things might push her apart. Be careful about how you go about it.

4) Confide in with mother-in-law

Your mother-in-law has been an integral part of the family that you have just entered. Don’t make her feel that you are there to take her place. Assure her that you are there to compliment her in all possible manner and make “her” family complete. Don’t let your actions signal otherwise. Don’t let insecurity creep in.

5) Respect and care for your father-in-law

The relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law is often a neglected one. Though this can be a sweet father-daughter relationship provided you take a lead. Respecting and taking care of your father-in-law will not only help you establish good terms with him but will also help you establish firm grounds in your new family. As it is an indirect way of touching your mother-in-law’s heart. She will be delighted to see someone taking care of the person she loved the most her entire life.

The relationship of a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is different from rest of the relationships. Your mother-in-law could be your best friend and she could be your critic as well. She is the one who helps you to get familiar and adjust within the new family and makes you comfortable. She is the binding agent of the family and you are really dependent on her over a lot of day-to-day things. She is not only your mother-in-law, but the one who is always there for you in the family, when situation comes. There is no better way of acknowledging her efforts and giving her respect than giving her a gift which she really deserves. Are you confused what you should gift her and what you should not gift her? Giving a wrong gift to your mother-in-law might give her an impression that she is not valued and you don’t consider her important. We are here sharing some gifts that you should never give to your mother-in-law.

Exercise equipment: No matter how many efforts your Mother-in-Law (MIL) is putting to reduce the extra kilos, but giving her an exercise kit is no doubt a wrong choice. Giving her yoga mat, fitness clothes, digital health tracker might offend and give her sense that she really needs to make more efforts to stay fit or she is not fit. No doubt, you are giving her as to appreciate her efforts and you liked the way she is putting efforts to stay fit. But gifting her exercise equipment on some special occasion is not the right choice.

Gym membership: You might be a fitness freak and love to go to gym every day like a ritual, but not necessary that everyone loves to spend time in gym. Quite possible your mother-in-law is conscious about her health and fitness and she is spending an amount of time on morning and evening walk or on yoga. But, it is not an indication that she is equally interested in spending her time in gym and exercising. Don’t give her such kind of memberships which require a lot of motivation to continue. It might be she doesn’t find going to gym as interesting as she finds running or walking in a nearby garden. So, giving her gym membership is not really a good option.

Cookery book: Your intentions might just be to share your cooking tips and expert advice with her and you really want her to know how to cook some mouthwatering continental or south-Indian dishes, but giving her a cookery book might offend her. She might feel that she is not a good cook or you don’t like the way she cooks. It might be she is a good learner and she is always keen to learn new dishes, but don’t give her something unless or until she has expressed the desire to buy something similar.

Wrong size clothes: Recently you have seen a latest trendy outfit and you want to gift that gorgeous dress to your mother-in-law then hold on for a second and before buying that dress for her try to find out her size. Giving her a dress which might not fit her well is not the right idea. First, try to find out her size and buy something for her accordingly. It you buy a dress one size bigger or smaller, then you need to get it replaced, so it always better to buy something which will fit her well.

Old fashioned jewelry: Giving Jewelry as a gift to your MIL is great idea as all women love jewelry. It might be she is fond of a specific pattern or designs. She likes to buy her jewelry from her favorite shop. No matter how classy these antique jewelries will look with her favorite saree or suit, but if she is not fond of it, then it is not worth giving it. It is always better if you gift her something of her interest. Don’t give her jewelry, which she is not going to wear in the future. Before investing a good amount in jewelry, try to know her liking about jewelry.

Cleaning supplies: Are you fond of a specific cleaner because of its tough formula and cleaning abilities, still never get tempted to gift this to your Mother-in-Law. Though you might think that she should also use it because of its good results and quality, still gifting her cleaning supplies is not really a brilliant idea. Cleaning supplies are just simple utilities and people have their own choices and reasons behind using them, so giving her cleaning supplies might offend her and give her an impression that she is not good at it or using wrong material.

In our country, we believe that when you marry someone you just don’t marry the person only, but you marry with the family and even extended family as well. Generally, boys are close to their mothers and after marriage they have two special ladies in their life. The one he cares a lot and another one he loves most. But, the situation becomes complicated when the two start believing that he is ignoring them because of the other one. In most of the cases, the mother-in-law believes that her son is ignoring her because of his wife. This is when the whole problem starts. If you are about to enter into this special relationship or you are already facing the heat of arguments and issues with your mother-in-law, follow these simple tips to become her darling.

Try to know more about you: This is your first and most important step towards building the strong and happy relationship with your MIL (Mother-in-law). Make sure that you ask more about her liking, disliking, behavior, temperament and other important things from your fiancé or husband. It will help in understanding her behavior and attitude. Even you know in advance that what you should discuss with her or what not to discuss with her.

Plan shopping with her: This is one activity which is generally liked by all females. It will give you enough opportunity to get close to her and mingle with her. We know that we all love to go out for shopping with our bestie’s, but going out with her on shopping will help in building a strong relationship with her. Buy something for her of her choice and show that you care for her.

Take her advice: Whenever you stuck somewhere don’t hesitate to take her advice. She is a mother and moreover more experienced than you, if you think you need someone’s advice then you can ask her. She will not only like your move, but she will give your right suggestion as well. If you want to know more about your husband or fiancé then she is the right one to be contacted.

Discuss things with her: Don’t discuss or share things with her just for the sake of doing it. Rather, discuss and share things with her genuinely. She will surely love to get involved with you in different things. Always remember to discuss light or non-controversial topics with her. If you think that some topic will make her angry or she will not like it, then avoid discussing such topics with her.

Don’t do fake appreciation: We all know when you are appreciating genuinely or when you are faking it. If you think that she has genuinely done something great, don’t forget to appreciate her or thank her for that. But, if you are doing it for the sake of it or just pleasing her, then be aware she knows it very well that you are faking it. Don’t fake things by praising her all the time.

Share your feeling with her: If you are annoyed with something or something is bothering you, then don’t forget to share this with her. If you are not happy with her behavior or something else at home, share this openly. It will build the trust factor in your relationship. But, don’t forget to share your feeling in polite and constructive way. Argumenting or shouting will not solve the problem, rather complicate it further more. It is always better to share your things in a constructive way with your MIL.

Cook something special for her: This is something which most of the mother-in-law expect from their daughter-in-law. If you know what she likes or what she doesn’t, cook something special for her. All MIL expect their daughter-in-law to possess good cooking skills. Try to cook everything by your own, most of the MIL appreciate that their daughter-in-law handles the kitchen by her own.

Don’t brag about self: You are there in her family because she liked you and her son liked you. Don’t brag about yourself too much in front of her. Don’t tell her again and again that how much he loves you or what special he does for you because you are good or something similar. It might be she will not feel good about it, when you brag too much. So remain happy on your achievements and stay cool.

Last week, I just picked up my bag and rushed to market because my friend called me up and asked me to join her for shopping. Shopping is one thing that no girl wants to miss. When I met her, she told me that she is really confused what she should buy for her mother-in-law for her birthday. That question appeared tougher than the question in any competitive exam. I was also clueless and not sure what she should buy for her mother-in-law. We decided to visit the nearest mall to check out something nice for her. We want to buy something really awesome and matching her personality. There we check out many interesting things and considered as gifting idea. I am here sharing our gift buying journey and ideas with you.

Photo-frame: We entered into a gift shop where we found many stylish and elegant photo frames. You can also consider this as gifting option for her. But, don’t forget to make it a picture-perfect frame. You can also slip in her favorite photo into the frame or get her favorite photo reprinted with the best resolution to lease a new life to it. Now, get ready to enjoy that million-dollar smile on her face.

Cookery book: If she loves to experiment with food and loves to cook something new every weekend, then this will be a perfect gifting idea for her. You can buy recipe book for her. Buy a cooking book according to her interest as there are plenty of options available in the market. This way she can experiment something new and you too can enjoy the new delicacies.

Beauty treatment package: To pamper her and make her feel special, you can gift her beauty treatment package. You can gift her skin treatment sessions, spa session or something similar. You can even buy beauty treatment package from her favorite salon or spa.

Skin care kit: You can buy a skin care hamper as well. There are plenty of options available like skin care cream, face and foot scrubs, skin tightening cream, face masks or something to pamper her. There are many facial kits and body care kits available that include body lotion, body gel, body oil, shampoo and much more.

Latest dress: Age has nothing to do with fashion. You can gift her something trendy or something you think that will suit her. You can gift her latest suit, skirt or something else that she was looking forward to buy.

Jewelry: Gift her some nice jewelry if money is not a constrain and you have good budget. You can buy ring, earrings or gold/diamond pendant for her. You can also buy some nice stone or pearl jewelry as well. Stone and diamond jewelry will be less expensive as compared to diamond jewelry.

If you recently got married, one thing for which you must be worried a lot is your relationships with your husband and your mother-in-law. It is equally important to maintain a good relationship with your in-laws as well. One of the biggest challenges in first year married life is to get along well with your in-laws. So it is really important that you try to build good and healthy relationship with your in-laws. According to a research, generally 60% of all marriages face tension and complex relationship between the women and her mother-in-law.

Always show respect to her: This is really important that you show respect to your mother-in-law even if she don’t deserve it or you don’t feel to show respect. When you show respect to your mother-in-law, it will help in building the good relationship. It will also help in building the communication gap and help in developing a positive atmosphere. However, it not easy all the time, but it is worth doing.

Seek advice from them whenever necessary: This will also help in building good relationship between you and your mother-in-law. You should always seek advice from them whenever you feel it is really required. It will increase their involvement and gives her a sense of connection with you.

Treat them as your family: You should not forget that she is mother of your husband and has equal importance in your life as your mother. If you show her equal respect and treat her as your family, in return she will also try to accept you a family member, which is very much required for healthy relationship.

Don’t fake in front of her: Try to remain as natural and normal as you can in front of your mother-in-law. Being yourself will work in your favor. If you try to be something else all the time, you can’t make them happy and even you will never able to enjoy relationship. Therefore, it is important that you should not pretend in front of your mother-in-law.

Nurture it, give it time: Always understand that every relationship needs time. You can’t build a relationship overnight. Even with your husband as well you must be putting lots of efforts to build it. Similarly, you should always give some time and nurture your relationship with your mother-in-law.

Don’t be arrogant & rude: In day-to-day life there comes a time when you feel anger, frustration and you really want to express your thoughts, but it is suggested that you should try to remain calm and cool. Don’t show your arrogance and rudeness in front of your mother-in-law. It will affect your relationship with her.

Pay attention to your words: Whenever you have a conversation with her, pay attention to your words. Don’t show disrespect them in your words. Always choose right words, before saying anything to her, try to assess your words and think about the future consequences of any harsh statement.

Try to help her in day-to-day activities: Your new family will always expect you to do and help your mother-in-law in day-to-day activities. Take initiatives whenever necessary. Whenever and wherever you get change to ease her burden and behave like a helping hand, try and do that. It will strengthen your bonding with her.