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How to Help a Friend with Depression or Anxiety.

I’d like to tell you a little story I learned back when I was studying CBT.​There was a young man who was walking to work, lost in his thoughts, not being mindful of the present moment. As he was strolling along, he fell into a big hole.The hole was nearly 7 ft in height, so he could just about reach the top – but he wasn’t yet strong enough to pull himself out.

After about an hour, the man was starting to feel quite distressed and alone. After realising he couldn’t get out on his own, he decided to ask for help. “HELP!” He called from his dark hole… “Please, help!”With his second call, a doctor walked by, hearing the man calling from his hole. “Hello Sir, can I help you?” The doctor asked. “Yes please,” the man replied, “I want to get out of this hole, but I can’t do it alone”.

With a smile, the doctor pulled out his prescription pad, scribbled on it and ripped out the sheet of paper. He then folded it and threw it into the hole. “There you go,” the doctor said, “if the problem persists, get in touch in 2-4 weeks”. And with that, the doctor was on his way.

By now, 3 more hours had passed and it had started to rain. The man was starting to panic, as he noticed the the hole was starting the fill up with water and he was getting quite cold. As the rain subsided, the man decided to shout for help again. “Help! I need help!”

Suddenly, a counsellor walked by, stopping at the edge of the hole. He looked down at the man. “Can I help you?” The smiling counsellor asked. “Yes, please,” the man replied, thankful for someone else to offer.​The counsellor lifted his wrist, turned on his stop watch and looked back at the man. “How do you feel? What is your relationship like with your parents?”

After a long chat, and a little more rain, the man was now stuck thinking abut his problems, feeling colder than ever. “Our session is up. If the problem continues, I’ll see you the same time next week,” the counsellor offered. “Thank you,” the man said, and off the counsellor went.

Now the man had been stuck in the hole all day. He was feeling incredible lonely, thoughtful and stuck. More stuck than ever before. Suddenly, he heard footsteps!

“Hey mate,” called a familiar voice. It was the man’s friend. “Are you ok down there?”

“No, I need some help. I can’t get out on my own,” the man responded, with a tear in his eye. In no time at all, the friend had jumped into the hole with the man. “What are you doing?” The man asked, perplexed and confused by his friend’s decision. “I know how to get out of here,” the friend replied. “I found myself in a hole not too different to this one a little while ago, and I found a way out.”

Remember how important friendship can be. Please take away some of the tools you learn from our blog and our website, to help yourself and others who’d like to feel stronger.

As always, if you or someone close to you is in need of some support or advice, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. We are a team of coaches and mentors who are here to support you in becoming the strongest version of you.