Children

Ah the joys of parenthood.
The ups, the downs, the joys, the sorrows.
(and that’s just in one hour!)

Mix in a husband or a wife (after returning to work) that works 50-70 hour weeks, including weekends and evenings and things can get a bit hairy, eh?

If you are here, at this step in your evolution – you most likely have already found a ‘home base’ mentality within your marriage. Getting into a solid groove… week after week, month after month… Ebbing and flowing in and out of his/her fluctuating schedule. To the point that the resistance to it is manageable, if not unnoticeable at this point. Your time together is sacred; those around you also know it to be as well.And you’re cruisin…

That is until the test says your positive and in about 40 weeks things are
gonna change… for good! That little girl or boy comes into your life, and all of a sudden it’s a whole new world for you and your restaurant husband or wife.

Suddenly, all bets are off.

*even the best planners, I’m sure, have no clue what to expect when their expecting!

How do you handle the fact that the wee one needs one of you to be there,

24/7?, even more….

HOW do you now coordinate life in and out with your spouse still working cooky hours,still sleeping till late morning, and still having to go it alone to your childs grandparents house?

Talking about having the most efficient tools!

- How does having children change the dynamic between you two?
- How does it get better? Maybe a smidge more complicated?

If you’re about to embark at this step on your journey, or already have done so.. Share with us what your thinking about…

- What do you really need to know at this point in your marriage?
- How do you make it work? What challenges you?

TOOLS FOR SUCCESS

At this point, the tool that we really need to grab from our tool belt is a keener sense of the entire playing field that is our life. Our career, our dreams, our family obligations, finances, our health… it’s the whole ball o’ wax!

So I’m wondering…If your husband is the one working at the restaurant; what kind of toll does being home take on your esteem? Are you the primary care taker? How does that affect you in regards to YOUR dreams?

I mean… who are you now?
Talk about identity!

This step in our evolution about identity. What is it? How do we keep it? How to get back on track if we’ve gone awry?

As a new mama (or already trucking along as a mother of 1,2,3,etc…) Our roles are more diverse than they ever have as a married woman. How do you still fulfill your own dreams and goals while being at the center of hearth and home? As the father to a wife whose working nites and weekends; it can be a reversal of roles; how do you find success with that?

Also, how do you stay connected to your man/woman, of all the exciting events going on at home, while they’re out doing what they love and bringing home the bacon?(no pun intended, well, maybe a little.)

How can you EVOLVE with them, and more importantly, them with you.

That’s what else I am going to focus on in our forums, on the blog, and on the specially designed programs with a focus on how to find success, having children in the industry.

Taking it to the next level…

Make sure you’re signed in, connect with your fellow neighbors, who may provide just what you’re looking for to set your mind at ease!

Raising a family is in the cards for most of us, why not lean on each other when we are close to pulling our hair out, either from our children or from our rarely there spouse.. who’s off making someone elses day more delicious!

*For those restaurant couples who are ready (and trying) to start a family but having a bit of trouble; check out guest post by fellow Significant Other and Registered Doula – called Conception on a Budget.

Children

7 Comments

hello,
i just wanted to say thank you thank you for this blog. i feel so relieved to find people that understand. we have a son and 1 on the way, with my husband working his nutty hours and me at home with the kiddos i feel so trapped and misunderstood sometimes by family and friends. this will be so great to see what other ladies have to say and get some asome advice. thanks so much!

Hi there Jocelyn ~ I’m so glad that you are finding support here! Please know you are NOT alone! There are so many significant others that are mamas.. being the primary caretakers; feeling that same way.. trapped and ABSOLUTELY misunderstood from even those close to us. Please let us know how I can help you! Join us on Facebook! We’re quite an active group! Take care!

I found your site today after being down about life and it has really helped to know I’m not alone in this crazy restaurant world. My chef husband and myself (former restaurant manager now momma) have a 2 month old and we’ve had a lot of huge changes in the past 2 months. In this industry one tends to move a great deal and we recently left my family when our son was a month old and moved to a new state with no support system for me. I also just had two major surgeries a c-section and my gallbladder removed 5 weeks later.. talk about tough recovering when no one is there to help.

I just wanted to say thank you for the site and how do I find you on facebook?

I just wanted to say Hi, I’ve not been here for a while. We’ve found a great solution to managing lives with our chef, we’ve started home schooling. Chef hours just don’t fit with school timetables, our new way of life makes finding Daddy time a breeze. Holidays don’t have to be taken in school holidays, weekends don’t have to be on the weekend, we are a much happier, healthier family. Think about it, give it a chance, school isn’t compulsory Alyson

It was so nice to find this website. My husband manages a restaurant and works 8am-2am everyday. Usually 120+ hours a week. Literally two weeks of him becoming the GM we adopted his half sister (14) and step brother (17). It was such a hard adjustment becoming parents but even harder knowing I would be doing it mostly by myself. I myself work 60 hours a week and come home to the kids after that. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and other wives/husbands know how I feel.

Welcome Hannah! I’m glad you found us too! Yikes.. 8am-2am. How I wish that weren’t so. For you, for his siblings and for him too. Sounds like you’re aware of what’s on your plate and are managing to do the best you can. I understand the need for the long hours, but that seems extraneous. I can only imagine the strain that puts you both under. You are not alone. We might not be near you but there are hundreds of thousands of us, experiencing something very similar, right now.