02 October 2009

The GLC Guide to Costumes

The Good Looking Corgi Guide to Costumes

October has arrived and that is the start of Halloween season! Merry Christmas for the Goths!

Now there is less than a month to get your costume ready. That’s plenty of time to get a decent costume put together. But there are a lot of things to consider when preparing a costume. That is what this guide is for!1. Where are you planning to wear your costume?

This is the most important question. You don’t want to wear the same costume to your kindergartener’s school party that you wore to a special All Hallow’s Eve at the S&M club. If you are planning to go to different events, consider either two different costumes one that is adaptable for different situations. Consider if you’ll be dancing, drinking, performing on a stage, trick or treating with kids, handing out treats in a public place, or attending a fancy masquerade.

Be sure to find out if your event is indoors our outdoors.

2. What’s the weather?

In the land of the Midwest, it is not unheard of to have a foot of snow while kids trick or treat. In which case, your costume has to go over your snowsuit. On the other hand, occasionally there is unseasonable warm weather, which means you can’t wear too much latex or you will sweat yourself to death.

Check the weather and plan accordingly. Be willing to adapt. (This doesn’t really apply if you are going to an indoor party.)

3. What do you want to be?

The most important question. Fireman, sexy [any thing you can think of] girl, alien overlord Lord Xenu, or just decapitate a Care Bear and wear its corpse.

anti social from the SomethignAwful Form

Once you get the idea of what you want to be, move onto the next step.

4. What do you have in your closet?

I’m biased against store brought costumes. They are badly made, uncomfortably thin, ill fitting, and can barely hold up to being worn once. There is no reason to suffer in itchy polyester and genitalia baring nylon when you can just adapt to what you have in your closet. Save money and get more use out of your clothes.

+ A black dress, ankle boots, and fishnet stockings are an easy base for a witch’s costume.

+ Have a nice red trench coat and those left over boots from an old Wonder Woman costume that you wore for a kinky guy you dated briefly in college? Consider Carmen Sandiego.

+ If you have any purple spandex laying around, you are legally obligated to get some green paint and go as The Hulk or She-Hulk.

+ Roommates with a heavy beer drinker? Get them to AA and use a bunch of beer boxes to make samurai armor.

+ Got long dark hair and a white dress? You’re Samara from The Ring (or Sadako from Ringu).

Once you’ve assembled what you already have (and trust me, you’ll be surprised), find out what you don’t have but need.

5. What can you make?

This is pretty self-explanatory.

Duct tape your cardboard armor together or think about what you can sew.

6. What can you borrow?

I am amazed at what other people own. Just ask your pals if they have what you need.

In college, I threw together a ninja costume at the last possible second. It was pretty good for five minutes of effort. Then the party girl across the hall mentioned she had a plastic samurai sword.

The night was complete.

7. What do you need to buy?

Most likely, there will be something you nor anyone else owns and you can’t make. Make up, a trick or treat bucket, or prosthetics. For me, it’s hats.

Make a list and hit up the stores. I would recommend first going to places like Goodwill or other cheap secondhand stores. Many people cast off costumes after one or two uses, especially children’s costume. There is no guarantee that what you find will be in perfect condition but if you are going to a place filled with smokers, drinkers, pukers, and low lights, that might be ok.

Most importantly this should be a fun process. Preparing for Halloween is something all people should enjoy rather than be stressed over, even for that religious family that hands out fliers on why Halloween is Satan's holiday to trick or treaters. They should enjoy themselves too.