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Bigger Isn’t Always Better: Remembering to Appreciate What I Already Have

Walking home from work today, I decided to take the long way. Most of the time, I choose the easy quarter-mile stroll downhill from the office to our happy half acre (or happy .62 acre, if you’d like to be precise). But to celebrate the first day of summer, I took the river-forest loop.

The river-forest loop is exactly what it sounds like: a series of quiet streets that wend along the east bank of the Willamette River, easing their way beneath stands of tall oak, fir, and pine. It’s three miles from our house down the river-forest road and back again. I choose this route when I need exercise or want to think. And, on days like today, I choose it to soak up the scenery.

As I walked, I looked at the trees and the river and the lake. I listened to the birds. I watched the squirrels go about their squirrely business. I nodded to the neighbors, and (strangely enough) I encountered three different loose dogs traipsing around unleashed, each of which was pleased to spend some time walking with me a ways.

After a while, I stopped looking at nature and started looking at the homes. The river-forest loop has some great houses. In fact, the side of the street next to the river is lined with what can only be described as mansions. The homes are stately and ornate, with beautiful, manicured lawns. (Rumor has it that one of these homes belongs to Will Vinton, of California Raisins fame.)

Dream house? Or an example of potential lifestyle inflation?

I’ve looked at these homes before — and even have my favorite (which I’m dying to buy if it ever goes on the market) — but usually in just a cursory fashion. Today, I really looked at them. And as I looked, I began to covet.

“I want a house like that,” I thought as I passed the new house built from river rock and brick. “Or maybe one like that,” I mused while considering the next lot, which includes a tennis court.

I imagined what it would be like to live in homes like these, homes with arched double-door entries, vaulted ceilings, and wrap-around porches. How much would it cost? (And where would I get the money?) What would this new, wealthier J.D. be like? What would I do? How great would my life be?

But my imagination really took flight when I saw that one of the homes was for sale. I stopped at the top of the driveway to admire all of the gables, the fountain, and the three-car garage. I pictured the other side, which must sit right at the river’s edge. (The above cell-phone photo is of this house. It’s listed for $2.3 million, or almost ten times what we paid for our house.)

“Wow,” I thought. “If only I could afford a place like that!”

Yes, J.D. If only. And then what? Would that make you satisfied?

As I resumed my walk, my route led me back through normal neighborhoods: ranch houses and minivans and small city lots. Several folks were out working in their yards, just as I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. Like me, they’re trying to make their homes look as pretty as possible.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I didn’t need some fancy dream house. I already have one. I recalled the excitement that Kris and I felt when we first found our current place back in 2004. We thought it was perfect. Our hearts broke when we thought we’d lost the home by $500. And our spirits soared when the prospective buyers backed out. When we moved in, we were overwhelmed, but mostly in a good way. We thought this was our dream house.

Our home, which we call Rosings Park.

You know what? It is our dream house. And I have a great life already, even without a fountain or a riverfront view. Here it was, three in the afternoon on the first day of summer, and I was walking home from work. And here I was again, half an hour later, plopped on a park bench writing a blog post in a notebook while all around me kids played tennis and basketball. At home I’d grill some steaks and pet my cats and read a couple of comic books. What more could I ask for? (Well, besides for Kris not to be on the road for work, that is.)

I’m always urging others to appreciate what they have. When you feel that aching urge to keep up with the Joneses, when you wake up and realize you’ve begun to succumb to lifestyle inflation, it’s time to pause and take stock of what you have. When you slow down and really appreciate what you already own, you can often slake the thirst for something bigger and better. Maybe it’s time to take my own advice.

In my case, I reminded myself that although our house has been a little rough around the edges lately, that’s mostly because I haven’t had time to take care of the property like I ought to. After I’m through with my big yardwork push, and now that we’ve repaired the sewer line, and after we purge a little more Stuff, I’ll feel much better about our place again. We’ll have people over. We’ll laze in the afternoon sun. We’ll pick peas and berries from the garden.

I’m smart enough to realize that a $2.3 million dream home won’t make me any happier than where we live now. I think I’ll stay put.

Your house is gorgeous! I have never owned a house but would certainly covet yours!!! I am about to move into my own house this week in Nashville, my husband and I having recently forsaken our condo (and harried lifestyle) in Chicago. I can’t wait!!!

We were grad students for 5 years in an amazing little city. We loved it so much, but it was hard being in a cramped apt. The 4 of us lived in a 500 sq ft apt for 3 years and then moved to an 800 sq ft apt when we had another child.
3 bedrooms, 1 bath, no washer and dryer for the 5 of us.

When my husband graduated with his PHD we immediately bought a house in the city where his new job was, about 2000 miles away. We didn’t do a lot of research about the area and bought our home in 1 day upon visiting. We were so excited that we got a brand new home, 2600 sq. ft, 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, granite counter tops and we paid less than $150,000 for it due to the housing market drop. Good time to buy. But what we didn’t realize was the price was also due to the city we were buying in. Quite remote, not very good schools, nothing much to do in town expect Walmart and McDs, no sense of community at all. A very heavy bedroom community.

My point is we finally have our huge house and though luckily we got a good deal and it isn’t breaking the bank on many days I would swap it for our old little apt. I really don’t like it here and so loved the college town we were in with so much to do and so much love for the community. A big house wasn’t the answer at all, but for some reason I definitely thought it was. At least I appreciate that the next move we make, the house itself will play a much smaller role in deciding where we end up.

JD, you have an awesome home. Looking at that photo makes me want to move to Oregon. Here in Phoenix, AZ, I have a yard full of rocks and mesquite trees that have to be trimmed every six months even though they have thorns the size of my index finger on them.

I will be living in Toronto in about a month and I cringe at the mortgage prices there. Don’t even get me started on the outrageous prices for shoebox condos.

I could not believe the huge houses people can buy in certain parts of the US for 200-300k. Granted, you could buy a similar house for 300k in other parts of Canada, just not major cities like Toronto, Ottawa, or Vancouver.

Lifestyle inflation can hit at any time. I was up late one night looking at houses on MLS. I felt like I was throwing away money on rent but then I remembered, there was no house I could purchase and have a mortgage of $440 a month including utils and laundry. Yeah, I’ll stick with renting for a while.

Also, 1800 sq ft is plenty of space for two people. After living in 620 sq feet by myself, I realized I could have had a smaller bachelor apartment and saved myself $100 a month. In the end, you really only need space to sleep, eat, and work.

Its good to live in the now and appreciate what you have. That being said, it looks as if you have a lot to appreciate. Congratulations. And when thinking about what to strive for next always remember to align it with your values.

I once lived in a lovely heritage house on an idyllic tree lined street in my city. It all looked envious from the outside, but I was at a sad place in my life, because of mountains of unhappiness in other aspects–relationships, heavy debtload, lack of inner contentment and purpose, no time to do anything other than renos and yardwork. Today I am in a tiny rented apartment, working on being debt free (3 more years to go) and have never been more alive and content. Home is where you are happy. I was not ready to be happy in that house; maybe someone else might have been. I look forward to owning a home again in the future (don’t wish to rent forever) but only if it adds to my happiness and isn’t a distraction from the most important things that need working on.

Lifestyle inflation and consumerism are the great American pastimes. It used to be baseball. Remember when people used to *play* baseball? My parents met on a recreational softball team. I played little league baseball. But now, do you play, or know anyone who does? Do you even own a bat or a mitt? Now people just buy baseball via premium cable packages, expensive hats and season tickets. It used to be about participation, but now it’s about ownership.

Nearly every aspect of American culture has fallen into this hole, so it’s no surprise that we occasionally find ourselves starting to have these thoughts — “I should have a bigger/newer/nicer whatever”. There are entire industries (not the least of which is the television industry) focused entirely on encouraging this.

We used to have hobbies that were about being able to *do* something. You were (for example) a photographer, and you bought a nicer camera when you’d exhausted the capabilities of your current one and found your own skill surpassing the equipment you were using. You got new equipment because the old equipment was no longer suitable for what you needed. Now people just go out and buy a $2,500 DSLR camera and leave it in automatic mode. They don’t really try to get good at it, because they’re no longer trying to take good pictures, which is what used to be a source of pride. Now they just want to be able to show off the camera itself. This is visibly true in so many cases. Lots of (not very good) photographers spend a lot more time showing off their cameras and their lenses than they do showing off their photos.

Houses are exactly the same. Ever hear a realtor try to sell someone on “pride of ownership”? They’re actually using that as a selling point. You get to feel good because you own things. People used to buy a bigger house when they had their third child and a two-bedroom was getting cramped. Now couples with no children buy four-bedroom, 3,000 sq ft houses because, “look how nice it is, my friends will love it,” and because they actually *do* feel proud to own it, because advertising works.

We’d be better off forgetting all about it and picking up a hobby that’s centered about developing a skill, like baseball, or photography, or art instead of falling back into the cultural status quo of buying things to earn satisfaction.

JD–Currently my husband and I are raising 4 children in an 1800 square foot house, with a yard that backs up to a lake, aka large pond. Many times we have dreamt about moving into a bigger home, but then we wouldn’t be amidst memories of sharing rooms, building tents, swimming in the lake, and really, really awesome vacations!! Like you stated, it’s all about what you appreciate and value. We have every intention to raise our children in this house. You post is a healthy reminder of what I appreciate and value most, heading into the thick of summer. Thank you.

PS – the estate in England used as Rosings Park in the Keira Knightly version of Pride & Prejudice is Burghley House in Stamford, England. It is 400 years old, has 115 rooms, and is on 300 acres. Personally, if I thought of my place that well, I’d never need for more!

Living since 1981 in an 1104 sq ft house really makes me want your house! It is so beautiful! Even though, neither my hubby or I have alot of clothes we can’t store both of our clothes in our bedroom because we are not “blessed” with walk in closets. It is a tiny closet so I keep my clothes in my grown daughter’s old bedroom. We only have one bathroom- which really can be a pain at times-but then, when I begin to complain/whine, I remind myself to be thankful that I have enough clothes and that we even have indoor plumbing because many in the world don’t. So, you are right, it is how you look at it and there is always a bright side to what seems cloudy.

Just back from the gym (105 pushups, 210 situps, biked 20 miles round trip). Didn’t expect so many comments on this post! I’ll have to read them all and respond.

First up: Holly (#64), I’m not sure if Troy (#56) is being metaphorical or if that’s actually his house. It seems unlikely that a GRS reader would happen to live in that exact home, so I suspect that he’s speaking figuratively. However, we do know from past a past post that Troy has owned a lot of nice things, and sometimes he finds them disappointing (including his dream home). Troy’s posts are consistently thoughtful and make reference to the money he’s earned through hard work, so I have no reason to doubt him. I just find it unlikely that he’s my neighbor!

Oh, and to everyone who finally caught it this time, yes the Rosings Park reference is to Pride and Prejudice. When we moved in, this place had 120+ rose bushes and it seemed like an estate. We called it Rosings to be witty and literate.

Your house is beautiful! I love older houses.
We lived in a 2500 sq. ft. Arts & Crafts farmhouse built in 1937. It leaked when the rain came from certain directions. (The plural is intentional!) But I absolutely loved it! In 2008, it burned to the ground while we were on vacation, a total loss.
We thought that might be a good time to downsize, but couldn’t find anything to meet that need. Instead we rebuilt using the same floorplan with some minor adjustments. For some reason, this new house feels huge. Right now the bedrooms are full because we are foster parents. But when that season is done, I wonder if it will be worth the upkeep.
In the meantime, we both can enjoy the space we have while we have it. A lot of the things I worried about on the old house disappeared in one day. There are no guarantees and life changes.

This is a perfect article for me, since I’m looking to buy a condo. For me, I’m going to be happy to afford a 1,000 square foot condo and that will seem like a dream since i’m currently living in a 500 square foot rented “studio.” Your house is just lovely and to me looks better than the first house you posted a picture of. I guess it is all relative. I could not afford either of the houses you posted, so I dont try to think about what that lifestyle would be like, since it is not a possibility and thus I will go on being happy with my future 1,000 foot condo

What exactly is the appeal of the larger home? What is the dream? The blog is rooted in “getting rich” (eventually), but of course we’ve learned on our journey that money is not completely analogous to happiness.

Houses serve a purpose. A place to sleep. Room for our Stuff. Somewhere to entertain and be entertained. How much of each of those do we need? We can have anything we want, but what about everything?

230K wouldn’t buy anything here in L.A. Not even a studio condo. Maybe, just maybe, you could find something on the far, dusty outskirts of our ridiculous megalopolis.

DH and I like to look at houses when we’re out walking. But having watched a ton of HGTV (including Holmes on Homes – that one will give you nightmares) and read books like “How to Inspect a House,” we haven’t seen a single one that didn’t set off giant red flashing Caution signs.

I would like .62 acre, but 1800 sf is too much. I would just fill it up with Stuff.

I know JD hates the book, but Rich Dad espouses buying a very small primary residence so your money can be used for other investment vehicles. My house is 1550 sq ft. It’s not a lot of space for me to keep cool and heat. I love having the ability to pay more on my mortgage or take trips rather than pay hefty utility bills and professional lawn maintenance.

I completely disagree. I know plenty of people who play sports and do active hobbies. Those that don’t or define themselves by their things are the exception, not the rule. I don’t have a $2500 camera, but I do have a nice camera with nice automatic settings that keep me from having to adjust all of the settings myself. Now I can take really nice pictures of my family and vacations without having to spend hours perfecting the skills. On the other hand I know people who have an interest and therefore spend a lot of time and money on the skills.

I think instead we have turned into a society with a lot more disposable income and a lot of services and equipment has become relatively less expensive. I don’t think people 50 years ago necessarily wanted smaller houses, as much as that was all they could afford. If we roll back the clock 100 years the homeowner was a rare thing. If you owned a home you were rich. Now if you’re middle class and renting many people look at you sideways. The 30 year mortgage is a relatively new thing and has changed the financial landscape.

I don’t think people are any more materialistic now than we have been throughout history. We simply have more opportunities to indulge. It’s the same with credit cards. Economic downturns like the Great Depression do scar people, but for most of history people have been better with credit because credit was difficult to get. I believe it was “David Copperfield” that had a character that was that time’s version of a payday loan.

PLUS technology has changed. Once upon a time people lived in tiny one room homes because the only way to heat it was with an inefficient fire place. Even comparatively large multi-room houses didn’t get big because each room needed a heat source. With today’s technology it gets easier and cheaper to heat spaces, thus you wind up with larger spaces. Smaller places in Europe and metro areas are restricted by land prices. In flyover country they are limited by different resources: those to build, clean, and/or heat.

In the end it all depends on what limits you. Because people will always aim for that limit. Our limitations are simply shifting.

Second Tyler K, I think you are absolutely on target. As a kid, we played baseball everyday in an empty field out in our country neighborhood. Some days we went fishing or go in town to the pool. My much older sister played on a couple of different softball teams and was in a bowling league in the off season. It is amazing today how many more sport fans there are today spending tons of money to be associated with a player or team and may have never played anything. Sports is a business today – not a pastime. Plus it is so much more expensive to for kids to play on teams since we have to have organized and scheduled play times. Even if only one parent works, where will your kids find players for the pick up game in the empty lot? I still long to get outside and play ball just like when I was a kid. It was the best time of my childhood.

I do have hobbies where I create or participate in but I seem to be in a minority with many people I meet. Sorry, buying things is not a hobby that would be a collection.

I can remember how when we bought our first townhome, how we thought our 1600 sq. foot home was huge, and things couldn’t get any better. Then the lifestyle creep started to happen and we decided we wanted a stand alone home – so we bought a nice new 2350 sq foot home.

Now, once again we’re considering upgrading because we’ve started a family and want more room – and a fenced backyard.

But this time I think we’re taking more into account that we don’t have to have a million dollar home or a huge place. We’ll find something that fits our budget, and that fits our list – but still stay within the price range we’re able to afford. No dreams of buying that beautiful lake home we have dreamed about. And we KNOW we can be happy without a home – our happiness comes from elsewhere – faith family and friends.

So many great comments about the importance of keeping things in perspective! Thanks.

Also, a quick note regarding the photo: This was taken for the real estate marketing effort, so it shows the place to its best advantage. In the photo, the yard has been trimmed, the roof has been replaced, and the house has been painted, so everything looks as beautiful as it can be. It’s great, yes, but don’t let the photo fool you.

@SF_UK (#15)
Oops. You’re right. It’s easy to get U.S.-centric sometimes! And remember, while I think our house isn’t huge in relation to our peers (it’s average sized), I do think it’s too big for Kris and me. After havign spent ten days on a small boat recently, I know that it doesn’t take much space to be happy!

@objectiveGeek (#24)
!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Maybe I should write more about my financial goals if you think this blog is all about self-denial. I guarantee you that I’m saving for and spending on plenty. I’m using my money to enjoy life. But it’s a constant battle to remind myself of my priorities so that I don’t spend too much on things that aren’t important. I may have to address your comment in a separate post…

@Shara (#48)
You should hear the whining lately from me about the size of our yard and the amount of maintenance! I’ve basically neglected my yardwork for the past three years, and it shows. That’s why I have a real-estate photo in this post instead of a snapshot of the place as it looks now.

But I’ve resolved to spend the entire summer getting things back into shape. That’s one way to fight the urge for a new house, too. Just as I fought the urge for a new car by spending several years doing cosmetic upgrades to my old car, so too I can fight the urge for a new house by making this house the one I want to be in.

@Tyler K (#66)Fantastic comment. And no snarkiness in it at all! Are you feeling okay? And Shara’s follow-up in #79 is great, too.

@Amanda (#78)
I don’t hate Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I just think it’s a poor money manual for the average person. I’ve actually been thinking I should re-read it and post a review. I think it would generate a good discussion. Actually, maybe I should do a Trent-style multi-part book group discussion on it. That could be interesting. Thoughts?

So how do you know when it’s ‘lifestyle inflation’ or just plain growing or improving? Hubby and I currently have an 860sqft condo (2br/1ba) and are saving for a down payment on a ‘real’ house. We have to rearrange furniture whenever we have people over for dinner or a weekend visit, have no lawn/yard/deck, bump into each other when we’re both in the kitchen, and have to coordinate using the bathroom in the morning. We could double our current living space and still have a smaller home than the average US home (as well as smaller than yours, J.D.) – but posts about lifestyle inflation sometimes make me feel guilty (or less money-conscious) for not being content with what we already have.

Shara:
I’m not trying to criticize anyone for having a nice automatic camera and using it to take automatic pictures simply. The people I’m criticizing (in this specific case) are taking the exact same pictures as you are (or perhaps, not as many of them), but they have a Canon 5D Mk II and $5,000 worth of L-series lenses. If you ask them about photography they’ll talk about their equipment and “nice glass” and F numbers and image stabilization, but they wont pull out a bunch of photos to show you. They’re in the hobby of collecting photo equipment more than they’re in the hobby of taking photos. The baseball example was supposed to illustrate something similar.

And you might be right that this doesn’t reflect changing attitudes or the prioritization of materialism, but I doubt it. I think the reason that people have more disposable income now is because we work more hours for it (see the decline of the single income household). We do this because we feel like we *have to*, because it’s the only way to afford a 3,000 sq ft house and a 50-inch TV. It’s all driven by consumerism. You say that people now have more opportunities to indulge. The fact that we’ve chosen nearly universally to indulge in more work for more money for more things instead of more leisure time to practice other interests seems to support my observation.

Where I think you might be right is in saying this isn’t a *new* phenomenon. Maybe we’ve always been this materialistic. Either way, we’ve used advancing technology to give ourselves bigger houses with efficient air conditioning and not only bigger TVs but one in every room. We’ve got faster cars and a phone for everyone instead of one per household. We could have gone in a different direction. We could have kept the small house with one TV. We could have worked less and afforded less and spent the extra time traveling to all our national parks, or bicycle touring the pacific coast with our children, or snorkeling in the Caribbean, or volunteering to help clean up oil spills. But we didn’t. We spent our time earning the money for a 3,000sq ft house with a TV in each bedroom, one in the living room, and one in the kitchen.

And sure, not everyone does this. Some people are more focused on their accomplishments via skill rather than via bank account. When you ask these people what they did last weekend, they’ll probably have a good story to tell, rather than “I went shopping” or whatever. All I’m saying is that shopping is amazingly prevalent. Enough so that calling it the great American pastime doesn’t seem like a stretch to me, even if a few people still play baseball.

Edit: I should always refresh the page for new comments before posting something that took a long time to write. I started writing this post when Shara’s post (#79) was the last post on the topic (and it was actually number 66 at the time, before J.D. went and approved all the pending comments from earlier), and so I didn’t address any of the other follow-ups after that (like J.D.s comments).

I can clearly see the deficiences of our house (especially as we are the ones fixing it up for the most part), so there will always be other homes I admire, and I do like to walk the neighborhood and compare and contrast.

However I do have to say although it has been 11 years since we got our house, I still have a thrill walking up to “my” house, a house that my children call home, I can adopt a stray cat, paint the walls whatever color I want, hammer nails in the walls, put in a brick patio and raised beds in the backyard, read a book on the screened-in back porch, listen to the sound of my husband playing guitar in the attic, tuck my kids in at night. We bought a modest home so it has a modest mortgage with it (59K to go!). I’d much rather have the feeling of a (someday) paid for home that no one can kick me out of than living in the most lavish place depending on circumstances changing I’d be in fear of losing.

Looking at what other people have (both more well off AND less well off) can clarify what is important to you.

Thank you for this timely article. I was getting depressed having just moved into a small rental apartment after getting divorced. My ex-husband got the big house by the lagoon. But it reminded me that that lovely house became more stress than joy because of the financial burden. And now I am feeling a lot more free with not having to worry about a huge mortgage and maintaining a big house. My small apartment is just fine for me and my kids for right now. But one day, hopefully I’ll be able to have my own small house with a yard. But I never want to live beyond my means ever again.

I agree people often work more than they need to. But in historical perspective until recently a two income household wasn’t possible. One person was needed to keep the household running. The wife was doing laundry for hours every week, scrubbing clothing by hand and then engineering ways to hang it to dry rather than just dumping it in the machine with a cap of soap and then transferring it to the dryer. She was working in the garden and spent a couple weeks solid every year preserving food, not to mention the time it took to prepare before electric mixers, food processors, refrigerators and sliced bread. She sewed and darned and knitted for hours upon hours rather than spent a couple hours twice a year at the mall. They DID work far more than a full time job. And men were often working well over 8 hour days. They were in the fields, or if they were educated they were often at the beck and call of their employer for 12 hours per day six days per week. A woman wasn’t like today’s housewife. She was more like someone running a business from their home. Kids played in sight or helped.

These days we choose to do those things to be frugal or because we enjoy them. Back then they did it because if they didn’t they lived in filth and didn’t eat.

So what that someone decides to work and spend that money on stuff? I would think that you would be the first one to defend that decision. As I said, things like that weren’t AVAILABLE previously. Those that could afford it often were toying with silly stupid things or collecting useless things. Just before those people were *rich*. By historical standards we have the disposable income and leisure time of the rich of previous generations. Middle class people worked long hard hours and distinguished because they had a servant to carry their waste from the house rather than dump it out the window.

By the way, the issue of credit and availability is an aside. I assume people can afford what they buy. But as I said the credit side of the modern age is so completely different as well that I don’t think it’s fair to compare.

@Tyler: I’ve seen a similar phenomenon, but with musical instruments. I know several people who have a bunch of electric guitars and enough gear to outfit a studio, but they don’t practice. What’s the point of showing off your stuff if you can’t play? And no, the solution to sucky playing is NOT more gear.

After more than 14 years, we are still in our ‘starter’ condo that we have outgrown (two adults, two kids, and a Golden Retriever). We will often house hunt and think about moving. My dear husband will usually say something like “I can see us in this house. You would even have a quiet space for your hobbies.” And all I can think is “And I can see us with huge utility bills and property taxes.” We may have the tiniest home among all our family and friends, but we also have the smallest house payment. Should something happen we could pick up a job at a grocery/discount/warehouse store and easily make the payment. Should that happen to our friends, it would be catastrophic. As Grandmother said we are old enough where our ‘wants’ won’t hurt us. Peace of mind is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and family. Be content with what you have.

@Shara:
“So what that someone decides to work and spend that money on stuff? I would think that you would be the first one to defend that decision.”

Absolutely. You can. You’re entitled to do what you please with your own income. That doesn’t mean it’s not consumerism (and I don’t mean to imply that all consumerism is bad, either). All I’m saying is that consumerism is exceedingly popular as a pastime in the U.S.

I think it’s worth examining our consumerism to see if it’s worthwhile, and to try to understand the reasons we participate in it. I don’t think you’re a bad person for collecting expensive guitars (to take Meg’s example), and you’re allowed to do that if you like. I just think that it’s worth considering that you may actually get more satisfaction out of having one guitar, and spending some time learning to play it really well. This also makes for much more interesting stories to share with your grandchildren (or music to play for them, or photos to show them).

Over the past 150 years or so, advances in technology and production efficiency have have made it possible to meet our basic needs in far, far less time than it used to take. Instead of everyone working 12 hour days six days a week, we could make do with half of us working 6 hour days, five days a week. That would be enough to meet everyone’s basic needs of food, shelter, clothing, etc.

What we do with the extra time is entirely up to us. A great many of us have elected to spend that time working anyway, so that we can afford to buy more things. All I’m trying to do is bring up some other options for consideration, because a lot of people don’t really think about it (there was a time when I didn’t). We are constantly exposed to all sorts of messages telling us that this is the only way to go — you see lots of ads telling you hundreds of different ways to spend your money, but very few telling you to take the afternoon off and go to the park. People don’t even consider the other options because no one mentions them. I’m mentioning them, that’s all.

What a great and timely reminder as my husband and I close on our first home purchase tomorrow! We’ve rented together for 12 years and while I’m thrilled to be buying, I’ve already found myself looking at the defects in the home and wishing we could afford something nicer.

I’m going to try to remember to ask myself “And then what? Will that make you satisfied?” and find my satisfaction in the Now.

And now I wonder if my husband would be on board with naming our new place!

JD, a few years ago (out of neccesity) I moved from a rented house into an apt. to cut my expenses and now I have come to LOVE my little apt. – it’s perfect for me – I look at your lovely house and the mansion you “coveted” and I can appreciate the beauty but I would’nt want either – my financial hardships of the past few years have been somewhat cathartic – it’s really taught me to appreciate what I have, and to grow where you’re planted. It amazes me to realize I now have less than I did years ago, but I’m actually happier because the stress of too much debt and no way out is finally being lifted.

Forget “global comparisons” you’re house is HUGE in USA comparisons. Back in parts of the the Bay Area you are looking at anywhere between $2.5 million and tens of millions. The piece of property you have alone (aside from the house itself) is gold.

LOL I find the caption amusing:
“Dream house? Or an example of potential lifestyle inflation?”

How bout an example of guaranteed lifestyle inflation? The yard on that monster alone! Oh my goodness! Not to mention all the furnishings, paint, repairs, upkeep. EEK!

I think the “fantasy” of those large homes is what hooks us. Every time we see those homes we see perfection like TV shows and magazines show. But those homes require staffs to keep them in fantasy condition. And staffs take money.

And then you drill down to the whole concept of what’s exactly the point of those big houses– it’s not much more than show and tell. I’d bet very very very few families require so much space. I live with three children in a 1500 sq foot home. It’s more than enough space and hard for me to maintain! Anything larger than my house freaks me out.

@Courtney #85
I think lifestyle inflation is a fact of life really, it’s just the extent of it that needs to be kept in check. For instance, a childless couple making the move to family of three instantly brings lifestyle inflation of some degree. You can keep it as minimal as possible or blow it to the stratoshpere. The same thing goes with moving from a condo to a single family house. It’s fine to want to live in a house, but you can control how much the move affects your lifestyle changes.

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