Let's move to ...

Spalding sounds like a medical condition, but don't let that put you off. It is, in fact, a town for which the words 'jolly pleasant' might have been invented: nimbly perched overlooking the river Welland and, thanks to the east coast mainline, thoroughly well connected. Trust me: if you brought Spalding home to meet your mum, she'd be eyeing up wedding hats.

Ups Coo, look at those rail connections! Bucket-loads on the market, and good stuff, too. Great schools. The Fens: mysterious and miasmic.

Downs Why is everyone selling their houses? Do they know something? Lincolnshire: the land that time, fashion, food, etc forgot. The Fens: cold and gloomy when the east wind blows.

Getting around Hourly trains to Peterborough mainline (20 mins). Or 20 winding miles of tractors to the A1.

Property Very good, and lashings of it. Big fat detacheds, exec homes and Georgian/late Victorian town houses, £250,000-£350,000. Terraces, £80,000-£130,000. The lovely 18th-century cottages lining the Welland are the must-buys. Half a dozen agents, such as Bairstow Eves (01775 766066), around New Road.