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Category Archives: Local History

Wonderful article by Rosie Millard, describing Alan Bennett’s view on what England is great at – hypocrisy. Currently, where I live in South Norwood, we suffer from NIBYISM – hypocrisy at it’s worst. White middle class people assuming that their views are correct and the best for the area, most the time not really thinking about what is the greater good – or perhaps being white and middle class is the greater good!

Read, enjoy, and smugly smile

Alan Bennett – yet again – nails it. Asked by some Radio 4 vanity project to nominate what the English are best at, the writer toyed with suggesting lovely things such as churches, or Swaledale, yet decided to make his many fans in middle England blush, by plumping for hypocrisy. It is something, he suggested, that the English – notably not the Scots or the Welsh – are particularly good at.

Our hypocrisy, Bennett said, ranges across every area of life. “We glory in Shakespeare yet close our public libraries,” he said. “Take London; we extol its beauty and its dignity while we are happy to sell it off to the highest bidder. Or builder.” He went on, warming to his theme. “A substantial minority of our children receive a better education than the rest because of the social situation of the parents. Then we wonder why things at the top do not change or society improve.”

Unchallenged by the Radio 4 presenter, unmediated by someone jumping up to give “an opposite view”, and without even as much as a phone-in to make everyone feel a bit better about themselves, Bennett carried on in this vein for about five minutes, his unapologetic, flat, calm voice expertly filleting English society, and laying it out in all its hypocritical horror for all to see. He even brought the police into it, saying that the force was great, as long as you were white and middle class and stayed at home.

He could have gone a bit further. Although Bennett is such a crafty old thing that he probably deliberately omitted a few areas, so that everyone could have the fun of thinking up some examples themselves. It could be a new party game: Hypocritical England. Starter for one, our notion of democracy. We pride ourselves on inventing modern democracy at the Mother of Parliaments, yet ours is not a republic. Our fate is to line up as subjects, fawning before an unelected, undemocratic head of state and her family.

How about the NHS? We brag that our National Health Service is the best example of socialised medicine in the world – yet thanks to the private finance initiative, the bricks and mortar of our hospitals are privately owned, and the beloved NHS merely a paying tenant.

Then there is the arts world. We boast about our wonderful arts institutions and their accessibility, citing free admission to galleries, and reduced ticket prices for live performance as examples of brilliant social inclusion. Really? Anyone visiting, say, the ticketed Rembrandt at the National Gallery or ZooRepublic’s hip-hop Alice at the Royal Opera House this Christmas might have thought that English society was entirely comprised of elderly white people on their own (Rembrandt) or, in the case of the hip-hop, elderly white people toting grandchildren dressed entirely in Boden. Oh, and that nobody outside London is interested in the arts, since everything is in the capital.

Maybe it’s pre-election restlessness, but Bennett’s view has been joined recently by others who are also picking holes in the gleaming PR mantle of Britannia. The Labour MP Chris Bryant brought a torrent down on his head by merely suggesting that perhaps it was time for some people other than public schoolboys to have a go on the arts awards podium. Maybe the comments are becoming a chorus because it is only now, 70 years on, that a post-war top soil of social concern which started to shift during the Thatcher years, has at last been fully blown away, revealing Perfidious Albion for what it has always been, namely, as one commentator recently put it, a place full of “pinstriped bastards reeking of lunch”.

Perhaps public institutions such as the Arts Council (which at least pushes funding towards other genders, races and classes) and Birmingham’s glittering new library are the anomalies residing in a world of hypocrisy and galloping privatisation.

It is sadly delicious, however, that such a damning indictment must be delivered by the chronicler of middle England itself, Alan Bennett, within a lunchtime programme on England’s triumphant bastion of civilisation, BBC Radio 4.

Whilst the Soup Kitchen in Queens gardens has become a catalyst, Croydon’s neo fascist regime are beginning to turn the borough into a mini police state, with its own privatised army.

David Musker – a wonderful advertisement for ACAB – has said to paraphrase – fuck the homeless, close the kitchen its so they can buy more booze. I’m glad he has a position of power, its fucking easy to kick people when they are down and he’s doing a good job of it.

Gavin Barwell – close the soup kitchen, celebrated that the Food Bank had increased output by 20%, again lazy politician who likes to kick people when they are down. Still what do you expect he is part of the party that helped keep Nelson Mandela captive for so long, sold off all the utilities that the public owned, sold all the council houses, destroyed industry and now forcing people to relocate from nice wealthy areas a not to ruin the view. If you opt to join a party full of counts then what do you expect. The biggest shame is that the working-class of Croydon actually vote for him – shame on them.

Croydon Council – officious parking fines, now litter patrol, outsourced anyone that stayed still long enough, sell of Croydon’s Crown jewels, and want to use underhand tactics to get rid of the soup kitchen so it doesn’t ruin the view of the wealthy.

Croydon is moving backwards and not surprising with the hench squad that is in control. Wait until you have to have a certain amount of money in your account before you can live in certain areas.

Whilst Gavin Barwell is bad the new tory candidate for South Croydon will make Barwell look like Mary Poppins. A nasty piece of work in the making I do believe.

Fuck your shit wine bars, and your gastro pubs – you can’t beat a traditional public house. Throughout my life, moving from place to place, you could always get to know the area and meet people by drinking in the local pub. A local pub can be a centre point for a local community for those who frequent.

I always get excited visiting a new pub – what beer do they have, the décor, the smell and what food – full marks to a pub that stills sells a ham roll on the bar. The disappointment when you realise its full of middle class wankers, blaring out Coldplay with a menu that’s no cheaper than 12 quid for a shit burger that’s allegedly been hand reared by some Cotswold farmer who knows Jeremy Clarkson don’t you know. Those who know me realise I only drink in ‘untrendy’ places, enjoying the atmosphere of an establishment that hasn’t been gentrified. It’s places like these that help keep history alive – every old pub has a tale, and by closing them destroys a little bit of this country’s heritage.

Recent legislation and greedy breweries have threatened our national heritage, and pubs are closing all over the country. You can guarantee if the pub wasn’t directly associated with the working class, the government would have done a lot more to support the industry.

South Norwood Tourist Board has kept me busy all week, whether its the constant phone calls from journalists, interviews with BBC news and radio 4 or just gathering the newspapers we have featured in but what I wasn’t expecting was the abuse. How dare we challenge the Lake District and their monopoly on natural beauty. What started as tongue in cheek promotion of our area turned into a spiteful and malicious attack on our attempt to raise the profile of our own neglected beautiful areas.

I have been to the Lake District and it’s full of middle class, 4×4 driving folk with children called Tarquin and Lucinda, whilst the locals are trying to cox as much money out of them as possible. I don’t blame the residents, if some snobby cunt wants to buy a ham sandwich for £10, but the bile that has been poured onto SNTB by a few (we moderated these comments) would have the majority of Cumbria holding their heads in shame. The lack of understanding about their own area and a whole lot of profanity and threats filled up our inbox, Facebook and the comment page on our website was unreal. Just to give you an example one comment was ‘South Norwood sucks dick’; Wordsworth couldn’t have penned it better himself. I can see why Daniel Defoe hated the Lake District.

However Saturday made it all worthwhile, when a journalist from the independent actually got off his arse and came to see what the hell was going on. What a fantastic write up, showing South Norwood warts and all, but he completely understood the whole project.

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No posting for last two days as it was my beautiful wife, Lou’s birthday, a trip to Kauffmans at the Berkley, and lots of friends later I have ventured into illness. Stuffy head, fever weakness, dilerium and I hear about triangle flapjacks being banned in a school. I believe it was more for the accuaracy of the angles rather than points, as they also serve shiroken biscuits.

After the success of Picklesfest and meeting Pickles owner Dave Corbett, SNTB are now turning our focus to promoting London’s Lake District. Did Cumbria think they could have it their own way for so long?

After the appalling decision in Rotherham to take the child from a couple because they were members of the UKIP party, Winston McKenzie (UKIP Candidate for the by election in Croydon North on Thursday) has entered the debate. Just at the point where lots of people had sympathy for UKIP, Winston comes along and confirms that they are predudicial party by denouncing same sex couple adopting as an equilavent to child abuse.

Whilst critics of UKIP claimed the party is racist, they can certainly add homophobic to the list.

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Reading my friend Ian’s blog, Charlie Richardson’s funeral is on the 8th October 2012. My condolences to his family.

Why mention this?

As part of South Norwood Tourist Board we have a great respect for the history of our area, and despite what Mr Richardson may or may not have done in his life, he is part of South Norwood’s heritage. A few people I drink with came into contact with Charlie at some point for one reason or another. His name will be remembered in most of South East London.

His funeral will mark the passing of a period of history within our local and surrounding area.