Chezi Goldberg z"l, who was murdered in last week's Jerusalem bus bombing, cared and took responsibility for others. He was a true disciple of Moses.

Rabbi Shimshon Pinkus once taught that people believe that those who die young are somehow "marked" to die young, but that luckily that "doesn't affect me, because I am obviously not marked." So we delude ourselves into a false sense of eternal life. Rabbi Pinkus proved that fact with his own life when he died tragically in a car accident not long after.

Chezi wasn't "marked," either. He was vital, dynamic, healthy, enthusiastic, always laughing and bringing others to laugh. The shock of Chezi no longer alive is compounded by the shocking way that he died, murdered in an instant while on a bus, along with 10 other beautiful, innocent and beloved souls.

Chezi was 41 and from Toronto. He made Aliyah to Israel eight years ago, and we were neighbors in the city of Betar Ilit. Last year his wife gave birth to their seventh beautiful child.

What the bomber didn't know was that if his goal was to render maximum damage, to take out an accomplished and beloved Jew, then he found his mark in Chezi.

Chezi was responsible for helping hundreds of "at-risk" teens as a social worker.

He didn't know that Chezi was responsible for helping hundreds of "at-risk" teens as a professional social worker and special ed counselor. For sure he never heard about the last initiative Chezi was so enthusiastic about: a new organization providing support for abused men. He never knew Chezi wrote a newspaper column ("Chezi's Corner") and hosted a radio show that focused on helping kids and sometimes fighting terrorism. He never knew that Chezi's singing voice was so beautiful it could make you cry, and how Chezi hosted an annual songfest in his Sukkah.

Bitter irony: At the start of this terror war Chezi and I had formed an organization -- "Security before Tragedy" -- to pressure the Israeli government to do more to protect civilians from terror attacks. Chezi wrote: "When we look at a miraculous escape from a deadly attack and breathe a sigh of relief, we lose the war on terrorism. When they fire to kill, they make their intentions clear. They will try again."

Every year Chezi would underwrite an annual lecture in memory of his father, where it was always moving to hear the love and respect for his departed father.

Everyone loved Chezi, and it seems that just about everyone knew him.

Everyone loved Chezi, and it seems that just about everyone knew him. Last week when he and I were walking past a hotel in Jerusalem, the concierge ran out and hand-delivered him a newspaper as a little gift.

He was a very devoted husband and father. Two days before Chezi was killed, his wife completed the year of mourning after her father's passing. Chezi, knowing it would be a hard day for her, booked off his appointments and spent the day at home with her. The day before his murder, he saw a sandwich at home and thought his daughter forgot it. So he took a bus to her school only to subsequently learn it was not hers anyway. He responded in typical Chezi fashion, “That's fine; I wanted her to know how much I love her.”

We will cry this Purim when we think of the town's most colorful clown, who used to walk through the streets delivering gifts of food with his kids. We loved Chezi because he was a lot of fun, full of life, and forever ready with a joke and a piece of wisdom.
Last week Chezi and his wife Shifra were with me on the bus, along with their one-year-old baby. We were all laughing at his usual jokes about the lax attitudes of Israelis, the national habit of believing that if we ignored the threats they would cease to exist through the strength of our desire.

And now Shifra is a widow with seven fatherless souls.

Taking Action

Above all, Chezi took responsibility when no one else did.

The Torah portion read a few days before Chezi was slaughtered spoke about Moses killing an Egyptian taskmaster who had been abusing a Jewish slave. We are told very little about Moses' life other than this short episode, and suddenly we see God choosing Moses as the leader of the nascent Jewish people.

From here we see why Moses was chosen. When he saw the suffering of his brothers, he could not hold himself back. Knowing full well that killing an Egyptian meant risking his own life, the end of his luxurious lifestyle in the palace, and likely exile forever, still Moses did not hesitate. He took action to stop the injustice in the only way possible. God saw that here was a person who cared and took responsibility for others.

Chezi was a true disciple of Moses. When Palestinian thugs were stoning dozens of cars daily on their commute home to our city of Betar, and the army was not responding, Chezi turned to action, driving through the streets with a megaphone sticking out of my car, hosting meetings for people who cared, raising money and organizing rallies to cry out for the army to do what it could do -- and eventually did do -- to protect us.

Chezi felt deeply the pain of every Jew. When he discovered that hundreds of troubled boys had virtually no resources to help them, he set up a hot-line, found volunteers, and created a national network to support them.

That's what I really loved about Chezi: he cared. He cared enough to get angry. When he saw that the security situation at our daughters' school was appalling, and everyone was silent, he yelled about it. It ate away at him. He couldn't lull himself to sleep like most of us. He got mad.

Chezi would be really mad now, if he was alive. He'd be mad enough to demonstrate about the bombing of bus #19. Years ago, people would be crying fasting and in shock at such a thing. But this is the situation of the Jewish people today -- that we have lost this ability to feel. Chezi decried this laxity. He warned us against falling into "numb acceptance" of terror attacks.

After every terror attack, Chezi would go to as many funerals as he could, even though he didn't know the victims personally -- just to cry.

It is a step toward the final redemption when we will be forced to cry out. It seems that the time has finally come to get mad and to cry. For Chezi and his wife and kids.

The Goldberg Family needs your support.

** In Israel, for Shekel donations or US Dollar Donations drawn on an
Israeli bank send checks to:

Rabbi Ephraim Shore
Kaf HaChaim 11/6
Betar Illit

Checks are to be made payable to: Yad Eliezer

** In US, for US Dollars drawn on a US Bank, send checks to:

The Young Israel Charities Benevolent Fund
National Council of Young Israel
3 West 16th Street
New York, NY 10011.

Donations should be CLEARLY marked on the front of the
checks "Goldberg family - Beitar" in order to be
processed properly for the family.

Related Articles:

About the Author

Rabbi Ephraim Shore is the Executive Director of Aish HaTorah Jerusalem, ​a founding director and board member of HonestReporting Canada and the founder of the Jerusalem Fellowships. Prior to making aliyah, he was Executive Director of Aish Miami and Aish Toronto.

Visitor Comments: 37

(37)
Rivki Rosen,
April 10, 2008 8:46 AM

Our Chezi, Z"L, you are still thought of and remembered....

What can I say? It's been four years and the sadness of losing such a gevaldigeh mensch still runs deep. We miss your smile, your wit, your devotion, your deep insights (political and otherwise), and so much more... When I first met you, when you and Shifra began dating (you guys were still known as S&K back then), we all thought it amusing that if you two got together she wouldn't even have to do any paperwork to change her last name. But when I heard your beautiful voice singing zemiros on Shabbos, I just knew you were "the one" for her! Yechezkel, you've touched so many hearts... Hashem yikom damo

(36)
Yoel Ben-Avraham,
December 6, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi Goldberg Memorial Site

The family has established a web site to collect stories and annecdotes about Chezi and his various endeavours. Please visit http://chezigoldberg.blogware.com/

(35)
Linda,
July 1, 2004 12:00 AM

5 Months Ago

It has been 5 months since Chezi Goldberg z"l, who was murdered in the Jerusalem bus bombing. I did not know him yet I still feel a connection between his family and myself. I wonder how his family is doing. Do they have their needs met? How are the children doing? I know from experience that losing a father is sad and life-changing experience for children. May the G-d of Abraham, Issac and Jacob continue to watch and care for this dear, precious family.

(34)
Miriam Berkowitz,
February 15, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi Goldberg

I too never met Chezi Goldberg but feel as if i lost someone dear to me. When i read the news i thought it just can't be him. The tears haven't stopped. Your stories about him, plus numerous ones in the Jewish Press. A truly special person, so giving, so caring, so warm. A true tragedy. Hashem should give his family the koach to go on and may he be a mailitz yosher for them and for all of Klal Yisroel.

(33)
Marlene Josephs,
February 8, 2004 12:00 AM

Klal Yisrael

I, too, did not have the pleasure of knowing Chezi personally. This week's Jewish Press was overwhelmingly about Chezi, his life and his contributions to others and to Klal Yisrael. I don't think I've ever read so many praises about someone who was not a national figure/politician which makes his praises all the more genuine.

My husband and I look for different avenues to give tzedaka, especially in Eretz Yisrael, and sadly we will do what we can to help his widow, Shifra, and their seven children. I would have much preferred, though, to give this money to help a yeshiva and, instead, have Chezi live to 120 continuing to help his wife, children and everybody else's children.

Whenever I daven or speak to Hashem, I first and foremost ask Him to watch over ALL Klal Yisrael, especially in Eretz Yisrael. I cry whenever there is bombing and Jews are hurt or killed. I do pray for my own children to be safe, those living in Israel and my one living in New York City, but first I ask for Klal Yisrael...because ALL of us are VERY IMPORTANT individual threads in the beautiful cloth that Hashem has weaved...Klal Yisrael. If one of those threads is missing or just not right, then the entire cloth is ruined. Until we ALL begin truly caring for one another and feeling one another's pain, then Hashem will not come to intervene on our behalf. He's just waiting for us to do our part and He will meet us halfway. We have to put all of our differences aside and remember just as we waive the four species during Sukkas, all the Jews are represented in His cloth...those who learn and don't do chesed, those who do chesed and don't learn, those who do neither and those who do both. We are all part of Klal Yisrael and He loves ALL of us. He just wants his "kinderlach" to get along and truly love one another.

(32)
amy perlow,
February 6, 2004 12:00 AM

I am crying at this tremendous loss

Dear Ephraim,
It is so sad that agaian we lost another jewish soul who has helped so many.

Thank you for taking the time to write this article. I am sorry we have to write such articles-it would have been better to write such an article and he should be alive!
I hope you, Esther and all the children are well.

I am very sad at the senseless murdering of the jewish people.

May Hashem have Mercy on all of us.

Have a Good Shabbos.

It is the Benia's Bar Mitzvah this shabbos. Time goes so quickly and it is important to appreciate everyday and all the miracles of Hashem.

Amy Perlow

(31)
Edward Goldman,
February 6, 2004 12:00 AM

I wish I had known him

Hashem must have a reason for taking so many wonderful people from us. Maybe he's amassing an army in Shamayim to help us down here and he needs certain people. Obviusly Chezi is someone he needs. Hamkom yinachem etchem b'toch shaae avelei tzion v'yerushalayim.

(30)
Anonymous,
February 4, 2004 12:00 AM

moving and insightful commentary

This was a beautiful and insightful article . Although we didn't know Chezi Goldberg we have heard of his caring and special work. But we were in Israel when the bus bombing happened. And it is true, people stop for the moment, check on their family and friends and then life goes on. We are saddened for the families but breathe a sigh of relief that it isnt ours. But we dont cry and we are not angry and that perhaps is the greatest tragedy, even more than all the lost lives. We must begin to cry, all of us.

(29)
amram,
February 4, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi accomplished more in 42 years than most in a 100

The love and devotion for his family, the efforts on behalf of our youth, his icredible faith and devotion to god basically ensured that he couldn't continue. Chezi packed 100 years worth of Torah, Mitzvos and Maassim Tovim into 41 years. May all our lives be as meaningful as his all-too-short existence. May he and and his family be comforted by God among the mourners of Israel.

(28)
David Notowitz,
February 4, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi invited me for Shabbat

The name struck a bell, and then I realized... four years ago Chezi interviewed me on the radio about one of my projects. His kindness and energy effected me deeply. And then, at the end of our conversation, he invited me to his Shabbat table whenever I visited Israel. That invitation has remained on my computer, for a future time when I hoped to visit him. My his family be comforted among the mourners of Israel.

(27)
Prof Shmuel Leib Zacharowicz,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

A pioneer in his field

Like so many others, having 'gotten used to' such calamities, I quickly glanced at the names of the latest terror victims, in the latest Jerusalem bus attack [Jan 29], when they were first published--and I did not initially realize that indeed among the others lost the Jewish world has lost the irreplaceable Chezi Goldberg z'l, H'yd.

Although I had never personally met Chezi z'l, I had often read his Jewish Press column, wherein he counseled tens of thousands of readers on how to speak to troubled parents, children and teens, how to instill love, and how to deal with troubled youth and difficult family situations. Chezi z'l was in many ways a pioneer in his field. Despite my own credentials in psychology and neurology, I stood to learn from Chezi z'l quite a bit, and I did. I considered him one of my teachers.

On occasion, Chezi z'l also alluded to the stress of living with terrorism, day in and day out, in his special, matter-of-fact but personal way. Alas, now he too is a victim!

So many of us living in the Diaspora are so removed from the day-to-day tragedies in Eretz Yisrael.

Many of us waste so much time and energy on petty things, getting upset over trivialities, and going about living superficial lives.

Across the ocean, in the Holy Land, there are people who live their lives with meaning and suffuse their existence with acts of chesed. They courageously live with the knowledge that one day, without little or no warning, their lives may be snuffed out--or they may be horribly injured, scarred for life -- by evil forces bent on the destruction of everything we hold sacred.

As a child, I often thought about how American Jews acted and reacted while

millions of their brethren--including so many members of my father's family --died in Europe. Did they go about their daily lives, arguing about train schedules and promotions and who deserved which kavod (honor) in shul?

We should all learn a lesson from heroes such as Chezi z'l and strive to live our lives with purpose, caring, and conviction, helping others, and always aware that our physical lives may come to an end but our good deeds can live on forever.
May his memory be blessed.
Prof Shmuel Leib Zacharowicz, MD, MA
Far Rockaway, NY

(26)
Annette Turner,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

I am sitting here stunned

It has just dawned on me exactly who Chezi Goldberg, Z"L, was. I am sitting here in total shock & sadness. I knew Chezi & his wife Shifra in New York. I haven't had contact with them since they made Aliya. We were at each other's weddings. AT my wedding, I remember Chezi dancing with such simcha, even though he had just met my husband Joshua & I. But for the mitzvah of Hachnosas Chosson V'Kalleh, he put that thought aside. We have a picture of Chezi in our album acting wonderfully joyous. My heart & prayers go out to his wife Shifra & his children.

(25)
Shira,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

Very moving eulogy

Thank you for writing this touching essay about Chezi Goldberg Z"L. I think I learned to be more sensitive to the happenings of Israel and to my brothers and sisters who's lives are at risk every day just because they are Jews. I didn't know Mr. Goldberg Z"L but I feel that we lost a true mench.

(24)
snejana Dobreva Col,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

each time tragedy strikes initiate national fasting

I was moved on a very deep level at hearing this latest (as all others) tragic event transpiring; and though I never knew Chezi or his family,the sheer shock will never be absorbed or deleted in life here. What happens over there, in Israel should be on everyone's mind and Rabbi Ephraim Shore and the brave honestreporting.com team are doing a tremendous battle for the truth with the world press. Just my thought that combined with a heartfelt prayer struck from the deepest chords of every human heart, fasting, when done on a national scale, if all jews did it everywhere, not just in Israel's streets,like reciting the Shema Isroel, would be a most potent force in life, uniting souls in the vast ocean of hearts.it's what makes us all human, we owe it to each other, for terror won't stop until we feel deeply Israel's internal pain so I enjoyn my cry with all those who really have tough reason to cry, but remain soft on theinside,whilst tough on the outside, so we all stand up to them!

(23)
Avi Adler,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

boruch dyan ha'Emet

Chezki z'l...after reading the article and then about one of my fallen brethren, today, I cried!

(22)
Shemuel,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

Hamokom Yenachem Etchem

I would like to send my condolences to Goldberg family and also to Am Yisrael for a loss of a great soul. May we learn from his great deeds and bizchut his martyrdom we will be Zoche to see Peney Moshiach Sidkenu Beyamenu. May Hashem Yimkom Damo.

Shemuel A

(21)
betti miner,
February 3, 2004 12:00 AM

a mensch!

May HaShem comfort Chezi's wife and family. He will be sorely missed and although I never knew him, he became a mensch by the outpouring of love and the many friends he had. He was like Moses by his acts of tikkun olam and love of Israel. May his memory be for a blessing. Thank you Rabbi Shore for your kindness in acquanting Chezi to all of us who never got to know him.

(20)
ROBERT KELLERMAN,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

I CRY FOR MY SOUL IS ATTACHED TO GOD

IF THE WORLD DOES NOT SEE US CRY AND MOURN FOR OUR PEOPLE THEY WILL BLAME US, FOR OUR TROUBLES CHEZI WAS A TRUE JEWISH MAN WHO STOOD FOR LIFE.

(19)
st,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

i didn't know him...but i feel like i did

when i saw that Yechezkal Chezi Golberg, Z'L on aish i could hardly believe it. i didnt know him, but i feel like i did. i would read his column in the newspaper (the jewish press) and i subscribed to a his yahoogroups which sent out his columns and other interesting things. i always admired how he would say it like it was and not hold back. it seemed to me that he took charge, especially when something needed to be done and no one else would or could do it.
one would imagine that the more important we are to others, the longer G-d lets us stick around because we're needed. i don't think so anymore. it's a crazy world. if we don't cry who will? and if Chezi can be taken when soooo many learned from him and depended on him, what can we say for ourselves?

(18)
Rachel Alpert,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

Called God for help

I'm very sorry to hear about Chezi's death, and please pass my coldoneses to Shifrah his wife.
I agree we are numb, to survive the years of challenges, and it is the time to reach our heart again, and it will hurt when we will do it, and hopefully the tears of pain will be replaced with tears of joy of getting back closer to our 'Hashem', to get to know the great deep meaning and love of his attributes. "Shemaitive Le'nivra-av"

(17)
Chaya Rosenberg,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

A true loss

I never knew Chezi personally, but he was certainly a key influence on my life. By reading his article in the weekly "Jewish Press", I was inspired and always learned another facet about being a Jewish educator, and person. He was unafraid to "say the truth like it was", and in doing so engendered action to come about. Yehi Zichro Baruch.

(16)
Zvi Goldberg,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

A moving eulogy

Rabbi Shore has captured the essence of my brother-in-law's life. Always caring, always loving life and Yiddishkite, always with the right thing to say.

Yehi Zichro Baruch

(15)
Helen Stoddard,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

One line? Never! My tears alone are a flood!

I have saved over the years many of his writings. I felt, no I knew, that I knew him in a way that only Ha Shem could reveal.
Thank you for being his friend. Hannah

(14)
Ben Hakakian,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

Let's NOT be resilient

The time has come for us NOT to bounce back from terror.Being resilient has saved the Jewish people as an emergency measure.But the current chronic slaughter of our people calls for a more desperate response: Crying to our Creator , as our ancestors did in Egypt.

(13)
m9ina morrison,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

I thank you for printing the story aboutChezi, I pray that we shall all have hearts & love like Chezi had & live for GOD & pray all our lives for the PEACE OF JERUSALEM, GOD bless you all, I thank GOD for the blessings I recieve from the ministry of AISH .com, thank you , GOD BLess you all, Love & prayers to Chezi's wife & family, Mina

(12)
Anonymous,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi was a remarkable person to me. Chezi helped me to realize that even the darkest points in life are not going to be easy, but that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that there is no such thing as an insurmountable obstacles. Chezi has left a void in all those who dedicate their lives to helping Am Yisrael. It is tough to offer words of condolences, but I pray that while there will be permanent mourning for Chezi by family and friends, there can be some comfort in the permanent presence that his influence will continue to have on the numerous people he so positively impacted.

(11)
M. Neal Jacobs,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

I live in America and we don't cry when our brothers and sisters are murdered in Israel or anywhere else in the world by muslims.We don't cry because we don't like eachother enough to cry............ Ashkenaz,Sephardi,Orthodox,Conservative, Reform. But G-d acting in his name of justice is teaching all the jews of the world no matter which yarmulka or shetal we wear or don't wear,that until we care spiritually and physically for eachother and the land of Israel, the muslim killers will continue to be an instrument of evil to the Jewish people. I pray to the Almighty that Chezi Goldberg,Z'L death will bring all of the Jewish people closer to each other and to the Land of Israel sothat we WILL cry for eachother,we WILL fight for our Land together, and we WILL enjoy the sweetness of G-D's covenant to the Jewish People.

(10)
Anonymous,
February 2, 2004 12:00 AM

do not remain silent!

i agree wholeheartedly that in the spirit of chezi goldberg z"l we must raise the roof on this madness masquerading as justice. all the "peaceniks" who want to demonstrate on behalf of rabin should read benny elon's peace plan and really think about the reality of the jewish people historically. how can anyone actually believe that you can negotiate and even make concessions to terrorists who want to decimate you and make no secret of it? No other country or people in the world ever in history would put up with this crap. can you imagine if people in america were being blown up proportionately to israel? we must pressure the u.s. government to stop speaking of a "palestinian" state and get them to support israel in a total, and i mean total wipe out of all terrorists and terror groups. let me ask you a question: what would Moshe Rabbenu do?

(9)
Shoshana,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

Hamakom Yenachem

I had the zechut of meeting Chezi a few years ago at a lecture in Toronto. He pleaded with a few of us to communicate with him ...he wanted to help us help our "pained teens" as much as possible. I went to be "menachem Avel" at his family's home here in Thornhill. The place was packed with parents relating how much Chezi had helped them get their sons and daughters back on the "derech Ha'Yashar"
My heart goes out to his wife and children. May his Neshama and work continue to inspire all of Klal Yisrael.

(8)
Anonymous,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

I am reading about Chezi and yes, I am crying and cannot stop. I lost my daughter in the Twin Towers and feel so deeply for the loss--to his family and to Klal Yisroel. Hashem gives and Hashem takes and we cannot understand His ways. All we can do is deepen our trust and belief in Him and PRAY that our tears and teffilot will reach Hashem and hasten his bringing the geulah.

(7)
David Romero & Ana Lotero,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

may ha-Sheim bless his memory

We must honour Chezi’s memory and support his family following his example.
Please let Chezi’s family know that there are in the world non-Jews who support Israel and Jewish people and that are working hard to make the world know the atrocities of Arab terrorism.
There are non-Jews who feel the same pain, and cry without solace for this terrorist acts.
I saw the video in the internet of the bombing and I couldn’t stop the tears.
Let everyone here know that I and my family will support Jewish people always. And that we are locally fighting media bias and misinformation in Colombia.
May ha-Sheim bless the memories of all the victims of Arab-terrorism in Israel.
May ha-Sheim help us to stop this slaughters and mongering hate from extremist and irresponsible media.

With love and support from Colombia.
David Romero and Ana Lotero.

(6)
David Kronish,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi's challenge may have been just what I needed

A little over two weeks ago I went to hear Chezi speak in Efrat. I was stunned to see how few people came on an apparently busy night. Chezi turned it into a personal "respond to your individual questions night".
When I asked a personal question about how to deal with my my son's behavior,
Chezi answered with a question " Do you play with your son? Does he have fun with you?" -stop worrying about him ...stop judging him. Get out there and play with him. THAT response may have been just the re-focusing CHALLENGE that I needed.

(5)
Tom,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

Stirring

I have read both the article "If you do not cry, who will" and the tribute to Chezi.
I cried.
I do not do that often, but this has stirred me deep. I pray that his legacy will live on, and that people will learn from his wisdom.

(4)
Jerry Meents,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

Chezi Goldgerg

Please give my condolences to Chezi's Fam. I do cry every time a Jew is murdered. They where all part of me. Some times the pain is terrible, zo please G-D let it stop, let Israel have peace for the next 2.000 years.

(3)
David Arenson,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

The force of good over evil

Why do we as Jewish people accept sorrow and move on so readily? Is it because our collective consciousness has experienced so much anguish that we don't know any other response? This is perhaps our greatest asset as a people, yet it is also a liability. An asset in that we keep on building, even when our walls are crushed. A liablity in that we move on too quickly, as the pain of remembering is too great. The Jewish soul has an unbreakable strength and resilience, which has powered the Jewish people through 3300 years of often relentless opposition. We are still here despite it all, shining brightly. Such is the force of good over evil.

(2)
Shmuel Veffer,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

may the shedding of tears become a watershed

Anyone who knew Chezi loved him, and felt they were loved by him. May the Almighty comfort the whole family, dear friends to so many of us. This feels like a last chance for a wakeup call for all of us. May the Almighty give us the wisdom to act globally as a community, in Chezi's blessed memory, to stop the slaughter of G-d's holy children. Ana HaShem hoshea na!

(1)
Yocheved Krems,
February 1, 2004 12:00 AM

your words couldn't describe Chezi better!

I've been at such a loss of words when dealing with the loss of Chezi - a close family friend. This was emes. This was poignant. And the ikkur is to make something out of this "senseless" death. Do a mitzvah we aren't doing. Do more chesed. Raise money. Help Shifra. Help the orphans. Your words were beautiful. Truly beautiful!

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...