Paying to attend child's party.. Opinions?

Hi all,OK so last year several families were invited to a local mini farm day out for my friends child's birthday. We went along & paid for ourselves as we wanted to make the effort for my friends child's sake, plus we all enjoyed the day out.This year invites have gone out again but this time for a soft play type thing for child's birthday. We are all expected to pay for ourselves & our own kids too.. Plus then the cost of presents etc.It's not particularly expensive but more the principle of the situation. Friend is not hard up, far better off than we are actually. I don't want to make a big deal of it but begrudge being expected to pay out for what is essentially not somewhere we would choose to go.What are your thoughts?

If they are pre-school and like this:"Its Camilla's Bday on Sun, how about all our NCT group meet up at LittleFarm then and I'll bring a cake" that is OKIf it is"Its Camilla Bday, please bring Charles to her BDay party it will cost £ per head to get in" that's a bit off.

If school age then very off.

If later teens then it swings back to paying for themselves a bit, if parents aren't there and they organise it themselves.

On the one hand a precedent was set when people willingly paid for themselves last year so the host may not see it as an issue.

On the other hand I see it as being really cheeky to, seemingly, expect what is far from the norm.

If my child would enjoy the soft play and it was someone whose friendship I wanted to foster, I would go but probably compromise on what I spent on a gift. At a later time I would bring up the issue so it wasn't repeated.

If neither my child nor I were bothered, I'd politely decline and only give an explanation if asked.

That's the thing though. People like to look like big time McAlpine's, but they're asking their guests to pay. I mean expecting the parents to pay. Is one thing, but expecting the children to pay for themselves is very much another

Let's think back to the days when we had birthday parties at home and invited kids round...

Did our parents ask fellow parents to fork out for each kid to get a party bag? No. Did they ask for 50p to go on the bouncy castle, £1 to eat something from the buffet? No. 20p for a drink of juice? No.

Personally I think the principle should be the same still. Talk about wanting their cake and eat it (excuse the awful pun).

Like teen said, depends how it was put. I've gone to soft play when my DCs were younger for their birthday but it hasn't been a party, that's been a case of "we're going to soft play on DCs birthday if anyone wants to join us?" Leaves the ball in their court whether they want to come, I find a lot of people don't mind.

I think it's outrageously rude to expect families to pay for their child to attend a birthday party. If you can't afford to pay for them, then do something free at home. Get a movie for them to watch, stick frozen pizzas in the oven, put music on, job done.

We got through the whole of DD's primary years with never being asked to pay for her to attend a party. She then moved from her state primary to a private secondary and one of the parents (who live in an absolute mansion!) asked the kids to pay for their own cinema tickets for their DD's birthday treat It's difficult at that age as DD would have been gutted not to go. If she'd been little or less fussed about going I'd have kept her away from it as a protest.

Inviting people out to soft play for a bday and expecting them to play? Is the child not having a soft play party and birthday room? If so, you don't pay. The host pays. If not, it's not a party and no present is required. You don't ask people to PAY to attend a party. (Especially not parents.)