The ChangingMinds Blog!

Our two greatest challenges

In our lives we need to face many challenges, some of our own choosing and
some that are thrust upon us. Sometimes they are troublesome, sometimes they are
interesting, and sometimes they are exciting. And no matter how we feel about
them when we face them, we feel good when we overcome them. Indeed, studies such
as Czikszentmihali's 'Flow', have shown that challenge is a great path to
happiness.

Two of these challenges that we must unavoidably face are perhaps the
greatest challenges that we face during our lifetime.

As a child, we live in the cocoon of the family where much is provided for
us. But this does not last forever. At some time we must face life, striking out
by ourselves, becoming independent and self-sufficient. We go from being child
to adult, from receivers to providers, from students to workers. We have total
choice in all things, but have to face the consequences of our choices.

A difficult transition here is that children are often happy to receive more
authority, gaining control over their lives, but they do not like having
responsibility, with nobody to rescue them and nobody to blame but themselves.
Many people show a failure to complete this transition to adulthood as they
avoid responsibility and try to blame others when things go wrong. It can also
be seen when people feel that they are still somehow a child rather than an
adult well into their 20s and beyond.

As an adult, we grow older and must eventually face the inevitability of our
own deaths. With luck, this comes with old age, but can appear at any time. It
can be a surprise and it can be the end-stop of a terminal illness. When we are
young, life seems infinite, but gradually the horizon gets closer. We busy
ourselves with our lives and ignore it for as long as possible, but aches, pains
and the death of loved ones increasingly reminds us of our own impending doom.
It catches us up as the value we place on the remainder of our life seems
constant, such that the older we get, the more we value each day.

We may find religion, science or philosophy to help explain what it is all
about, yet we must still face our death. A question here is in the difference
between dying and being dead. Being dead may be easier to accept. Religion
promises a glorious afterlife, while science suggests non-existence removes
worry or pain, although the philosopher in us worries at the loss of identity.
The process of dying can be a more immediate worry, as it suggests pain or
perhaps the loss of mental function and consequent identity.

As a young person, we must face life. As an old person, we must face death.
Both are inevitable. While others can help, we must ultimately face these
challenges alone. If we can do this, we will have cleared the way to a happier
life.