I promised you, didn’t I, and at last the time has come: today, in my fourth post on the Southbank Chocolate Festival, I’m finally going to talk about… Chocolate Truffles.

Now, the truffles I’m going to write about aren’t actually ones that I would have bought if left to my own devices – in fact, they were purchased by the Man, who has always been drawn to brightly coloured objects (my big red face being a prime example). In fairness though, this time it wasn’t just the colours that won him over: it was more the range of flavours.

They came from a stall run by Cocoa Magic – a company based in Wales, which hand makes all their products. And after much pacing back-and-forth, the Man eventually settled on four of their most intriguing truffles: Mojito (the green and white one), Peanut Butter and Banana (not pictured – I ate it too fast), Bucks Fizz (the orange one) and Bacon Jam (top left. Obvs).

Not surprisingly, anticipation levels were high. I mean, look at that picture and try to retain some saliva. However, although it pains me to say it, when it came to the tasting there was a problem…

Now, of course, all this reviewing malarkey is entirely subjective. But if you’re buying something on the strength of its flavour, a flavour with no strength just ain’t going to cut it.

As truffles they were fine and dandy: a nicely textured ganache, a thick chocolate coating with a satisfying bite. But where was the taste sensation? Where was the wow factor? Where was the mind-blowing, tongue-tingling, pants-dropping flavour explosion? Not here, dear Ogglers. In fact, these seemingly revolutionary chocolates were no more rebellious than my Granny’s collection of shoes.

The Mojito tasted overwhelmingly of peppermint – and very little else (I could faintly imagine the rum if I tried, but I had to try pretty darn hard). The Bucks Fizz was more like a diluted glass of squash – again, where was the kick? The Peanut Butter and Banana (as I mentioned the other day) was more banana than anything else – with no deep peanut flavours or goo like I’d expected.

And the Bacon Jam? Well, as the regular readers among you will know, with me being a Veggie, that one wasn’t part of my remit. However, I’m told it was ‘not bad’ – smoky, dark and not too sweet – without a single hint of salt. In other words it was nice, but only vaguely like real bacon.

It’s not the end of the world, of course. Lots of people like subtle flavours. Lots of people like to play it safe. However, they generally aren’t the kinds of people who will be drawn into buying a Bacon Jam Truffle – so who are these chocolates ever going to satisfy?

Cocoa Magic: if you’re listening, stop treading on eggshells and pull out the big guns. Get FULL with your flavours. Nice is all very well and good, but it’s not casting spells on me.