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This must have been what people felt like when they first heard the toe-tappin' sounds of those long-haired beatniks from Liverpool. The musical movement that will, indubitably, define our generation has taken form. Round, hot, cheesy form: Macaulay Culkin's Velvet Underground tribute band The Pizza Underground — the monument of musical creativity that recalibrates the lyrics of classic numbers by Lou Reed and company to focus on the theme of pizza — has released its first video and announced a cross-country tour:
January 24 - Brooklyn @ Brooklyn Night Bazaar w/ French Horn Rebellion, Rush Midnight, Heavenly Beat &amp; Seasick MamaJanuary 25 - Philadelphia @ PhilaMOCA January 26 - New Brunswick @ OutworldJanuary 31 - Austin @ Breakpoint on The BoardwalkMarch 5 - San Francisco @ Neck of The WoodsMarch 6 - West Hollywood @ Whisky A Go GoMarch 7 - San Diego @ Ux31March 8 - Tijuana @ MoustacheMarch 10 - Tucson @ 191 WarehouseMarch 11 - El Paso @ The Lowbrow PalaceMarch 12 - Dallas @ Club DadaMarch 13, 14, 15 - Austin @ SXSWMarch 17 - New Orleans @ Hi-Ho LoungeMarch 18 - Mobile @ Alabama Music BoxMarch 19 - Atlanta @ Mammal GalleryMarch 20 - Raleigh @ KingsMarch 21 - Washington, DC @ Black CatMarch 22 - Brooklyn @ Baby's All Right w/ Total Slacker
Culkin and his bandmates will kick off their two month- and 18 concert-long tour on Jan. 24 in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, gracing states like Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Texas, California, Arizona, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, and North Carolina — not to mention stops in Washington D.C. and Mexico — along the while. Surely it is the dream of any kazoothiast to embark on a Kerouacian journey following these polyunsaturated troubadours from start to finish... but that takes a good deal of planning and budgeting. Endeavors that a small percentage of the Pizza Underground's target demographic is willing to brave. Luckily, we have your backs. We here at Hollywood.com are lovers of Culkin, of Lou Reed, of pizza, and of the lost art of itinerary creation. We've come up with a complete fiscal guidebook for the greatest journey ever to befall humankind: following Pizza Underground across the country.
How to Follow The Pizza Underground Across the Country
We'll begin with universal costs: the tickets. Here are the prices for each of the shows on the Pizza Underground tour (those unlisted have not yet been announced to the public):
Brooklyn @ Brooklyn Night Bazaar - FreePhiladelphia @ PhilaMOCA - $15Austin @ Breakpoint on The Boardwalk - Free, but sold outSan Francisco @ Neck of The Woods - $10 - $12West Hollywood @ Whisky A Go Go - $20San Diego @ U-31 - Not yet revealedTijuana @ Moustache - Not yet revealedTucson @ 191 Warehouse - Not yet revealedEl Paso @ The Lowbrow Palace - Not yet revealedDallas @ Club Dada - $13 - $15Austin @ SXSW - Not yet revealedNew Orleans @ Hi-Ho Lounge - $15Mobile @ Alabama Music Box - $10Atlanta @ Mammal Gallery - $10Raleigh @ Kings - $13 adv, $15 doorWashington, DC @ Black Cat - $15Brooklyn @ Baby's All Right w/ Total Slacker - Not yet revealed
You'll notice we left out the New Brunswick @ Outworld venue. That is because there is no evidence that this establishment actually exists. We've tried Google. We've tried asking Jersey residents. We don't know what else to try. Still, we've included New Brunswick in our itinerary, just in case any of you have better luck in unlocking this mystery.
At this point, the ticket price amounts to $121 - $127. Calculating the average price per ticket ($11 - $11.50), we can estimate a total range of $187 - $196. Let's go with $196, to be safe.
So now it's time to discuss transportation. The first basic question mark concerns the long stretch between the first Austin show and the San Francisco show, otherwise known as February. Will you return home (to wherever that may be — we're going to assume Brooklyn) for the month of February, or keep course on the open road, living rogue as pizza surges through your blood?
In order to fund this trip, you might want to have a steady paying job, which will entail (most likely) you to actually do it. This means February should probably be set aside for actual life routines. As such, you'll probably want to stick to your personal automobile or public transport for the Northeast shows, isolate the Breakpoint on the Boardwalk concert with a roundtrip flight to and fro' Austin, and then hit the road (or fly out to Cali) for your trip.
If you're going to isolate Austin... You'll probably want to fly out from JFK, leaving on Jan 30, staying in a local hotel (for which you'll find pricing below) and flying back home on Feb 1. Right now, this will run you approximately $238. You can check a list of flight options here. Once March hits, you can proceed with your plan by either-Flying to San Francisco and traveling on land from there. Presently, a flight to San Francisco will run you about $139 ($124, if you're willing to fly into San Jose). Peruse at your leisure.-Driving to San Francisco via RV or car, and continuing on your journey in said vehicle. (The respective sections below will clue you into the fiscal plans for either method.)
But you might want to skip Austin altogether.We hate to say it, but it could be worth it. First off, the show is presently sold out (although there are always ways...). But its isolated location and date could pose more of an inconvenience than anything else. Plus, you will indubitably return to the Austin area later on in your trip for the SXSW shows. Bear that in mind!
Or... you can do the whole thing in one fell swoop, month-long wait-around period included.And here's how that would go down:
-Rent an RVAgain, let's assume you live in Brooklyn. Odds are, if you're a fan of the Pizza Underground, you do. As such, getting to this Williamsburg venue won't be a hastle. But you will have to rent some transport for the following shows. You can go the old fashioned way, but considering the six full days of driving that you're about to embark upon, you might want to kick up the luxury just a bit: rent an RV.
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The closest Cruise America to Brooklyn would be in Roslyn, on Long Island, running you $89 a night for standard-sized RV, in addition to mileage costs of $0.34 a mile. For a 56-day trip that takes you a total of 7,606 miles, that will amount to $7,570. Then, of course, there's gas. Your RV is estimated to burn a gallon of fuel every eight miles. Gas prices vary substantially throughout our great nation, but we've factored the average per gallon cost for each of the locations you'll be visiting to be $3.22. Some quick math will lead you to a grand gas total of $3,061. Combine this with your $7,570 and you've got a grand transportation total of $10,631.
That's a pretty penny, but luckily you're not alone: the RV, complete with bedroom and kitchen, comfortably sleeps five. If you can rally a full team for this trip, it'll leave everyone only spending $2,126 on this leg of the journey. Of course, this is on top of tickets (which would bring it to $2,322) and food.
If you're going to isolate or eradicate Austin...If you are planning to eradicate the first Austin show from your itinerary, this changes things... for the better! First off, your stay in the residential vehicle will be substantially shorter, since you're cutting out an entire month in the process. (If we're being logical, you won't need the RV for the first three shows if you're not going to continue on straight from Jersey. Just take a car to Philly and New Brunswick.) A 20-day stay in the RV will run you $1,780, plus a mileage bill of $2,344 for the 6,897 miles you'll be driving. Tack on gas expenses of $2,776 and you've got $5,120.
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FoodNaturally, you're going to want to keep in step with the theme of your trip and only eat pizza. Since you're starting your trip in Brooklyn, we assume you'll want to stock up on your entire pizza banquet there, seeing as how the locations to which you plan on traveling will supply you with far inferior examples of what you know to be a delicacy. There are some problems with the plan:-One pizza pie, in Brooklyn, will run you an average of $15. Estimate that each person will consume one pie of pizza per day. That's 56 pies of pizza per person (realistically, you won't be able to fit all your pizza in the RV fridge, but we'll get back to that), amounting to $840 for your entire diet budget. But...-You'll need a second, third, and maybe fourth fridge. You can recycle the pizza boxes and wrap each pie in tin foil to make more space in the RV fridge, which should be stocked to the brim, but you still won't have nearly enough room for 56+ pizza pies. We know, the thought of succumbing to non-New York pizza is nightmarish, but we have a mission here.Still, you will want to limit your intake of pizza from the otherlands. We figure that, if you're ambitious, you can stuff 20 pizza pies into one of these RV fridges. That'll keep...i) one of you fed for 20 daysii) two of you fed for 10 daysiii) three of you fed for six days and the next morning's breakfastiv) four of you fed for five daysv) all five of you fed for four days
Which means, of course, that you'll eventually have to stop and get more pizza. But where will you be?i) By the 20th day, you'll be... Non-Austin: Back home. Perfect plan... for you. Your friends are starving, though.Austin: In limbo, killing time between Austin and San Francisco. Restock anywhere but New Mexico (their pizza is so bad, the locals are known to throw it on roofs!), and then again in 20 days, when you'll be somewhere in Southern California (where the price is also about $15 a pie). ii) By the 10th day, you'll be...Non-Austin: Dallas. Average price = $9. That'll last you 'til home.Austin: Limbo. Restock a few times before hitting California, then again in San Francisco ($15), Austin ($12), then you're home.iii) By the sixth day, you'll be...Non-Austin: Tijuana (your guess is as good as mine). After that, Austin ($12), then Raleigh ($10), then home.Austin: Limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo... San Fran ($15), Tucson ($10), Austin ($12), Washington D.C. ($15), home.iv) By the fifth day, you'll be...Non-Austin: San Diego ($15), Dallas ($12), Atlanta ($12), home.Austin: Limbo x 7. Then San Fran ($15), Tucson ($10), Austin ($12), Raleigh ($10), home.v) By the fourth day, you'll be...Non-Austin: West Hollywood ($15), Tucson ($10), Austin ($12), Mobile ($10), Brooklyn for one last show (just grab a buffalo chicken slices at Anna Maria's on Bedford), home.
-Drive your own car and stay in cheap hotelsOne last time, let's assume you live in Brooklyn. If you don't, you can come stay with me the first night. (Just don't be loud, Matt has to get up early.) After that, however, you'll need to find a place to stay in each of the cities you visit. But let's back up just a second.
Considering the fact that the hotel plan would be highly unfeasible in the Austin-included route, we'll just assume that you're starting with San Fransisco for this foray.
Right off the bat, you've got that pesky RV rental fee taken off your lap. There's a good chance, too, that you've got better gas mileage in your standard sedan than you would in those fuel guzzlers — let's estimate 30 miles to the gallon.
That's $740 so far, which you can split with whatever passengers you're able to accumulate. And here's where the hotel prices come in:
San Francisco: Redwood Inn - $89/nightWest Hollywood: Comfort Inn - $89/nightSan Diego: Best Western Plus Hacienda Hotel - $64/nightTijuana: Motel 6 San Ysidro - $42/nightTucson: University Inn - $53/nightEl Paso: Ibis Juarez Consulado - $35/nightDallas: Days Inn - $33/nightAustin: Rodeway Inn - $59/night x 3 (three night event)New Orleans: Sun Suites - $39/nightMobile: Family Inns of America - $30/nightAtlanta: Masters Inn - $29/nightRaleigh: Econo Lodge Inn &amp; Suites - $40/nightWashington D.C.: Knights Inn - $42
All together, that's $729. Add that to $740 (split between however many people with which you're traveling) and you've got your transporation total. But now we're back on food.
FoodWithout a fridge, you'll be needing to make daily pizza stops:
San Francisco: $15 a pieWest Hollywood: $15 a pieSan Diego: $15 a pieTijuana: ?Tucson: $10 a pieEl Paso: $12 a pieDallas: $12 a pieAustin: $12 a pieNew Orleans: $13 a pieMobile: $10 a pieAtlanta: $12 a pieRaleigh: $10 a pieWashington D.C.: $15 a pie
So we've covered almost all bases. The only option unaccounted for is the fly-to-San-Francisco-and-travel-on-land-from-there option. Since you're ending up in Brooklyn, you'll probably need to finagle one of those deals where you drive somebody's car across country for them. There are people who pay you to do that. Check Craigslist. Be careful, though.
SO THAT'S IT! Now you have all the information necessary to follow Macaulay Culkin's pizza-themed Velvet Underground tribute band across the continental United States. The dream.
Bon voyage!
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IFC Films
As the winds of award show nominations pick up, you won't be surprised to find 12 Years a Slave at the top of every list. But the Academy, the Golden Globes, and the various other captains of the circuit are inclined to overlook some of our smaller, more personal favorites in lieu of the big, grand, and wholly unavoidable awardable pictures like Steven McQueen's American slavery epic. That is not to rob 12 Years of Slave of its due credit — the film absolutely deserves as much awards attention as it is getting. It's simply the sort of movie that you know will get awards attention right out of the gate... whereas pictures just as pristine such as Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig's Frances Ha, likely won't be the center of attention come Oscar night. But that's what the Independent Spirit Awards are for: to recognize the movies that we cherish with intimacy rather than with grandeur. Among them are Frances Ha, new release Nebraska, Robert Redford's nearly wordless All Is Lost (also a viable candidate for the Academy, due to its own dezzling veneer), the Coen Bros' upcoming Inside Llewyn Davis, and, yes, of course, 12 Years a Slave.
Check out the full list of nods below.
BEST FEATURE 12 Years A Slave All Is Lost Frances Ha Inside Llewyn Davis Nebraska
BEST LEAD FEMALE Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine Julie Delpy, Before Midnight Gaby Hoffman, Crystal Fairy Brie Larson, Short Term 12 Shailene Woodley, The Spectacular Now
BEST LEAD MALE Bruce Dern, Nebraska Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years A Slave Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis Michael B. Jordan, Fruitvale Station Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club Robert Redford, All Is Lost
BEST SUPPORTING FEMALE Melonie Diaz, Fruitvale StationSally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years A Slave Yolanda Ross, Go For Sisters June Squibb, Nebraska
BEST SUPPORTING MALE Michael Fassbender, 12 Years A Slave Will Forte, Nebraska James Gandolfini, Enough Said Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club Keith Stanfield, Short Term 12
BEST DIRECTOR Shane Carruth, Upstream Color J.C. Chandor, All Is Lost Steve McQueen, 12 Years A Slave Jeff Nichols, Mud Alexander Payne, Nebraska
BEST FIRST FEATUREBlue Caprice Concussion Fruitvale Station Una Noche Wadjda
JOHN CASSAVETES AWARD Computer Chess Crystal Fairy Museum Hours Pit Stop This Is Martin Bonner
BEST SCREENPLAY Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater, Before Midnight Nicole Holofcener, Enough Said Scott Neustadter &amp; Michael H. Weber, The Spectacular Now John Ridley, 12 Years A Slave
BEST FIRST SCREENPLAY Lake Bell, In A World Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Don Jon Bob Nelson, Nebraska Jill Soloway, Afternoon Delight Michael Starburry, The Inevitable Defeat Of Mister &amp; Pete
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHYSean Bobbitt, 12 Years A Slave Benoit Debie, Spring Breakers Bruno Delbonnel, Inside Llewyn Davis Frank G. Demarco, All Is Lost Matthias Grunsky, Computer Chess
BEST EDITING Shane Carruth &amp; David Lowery, Upstream Color Jem Cohen &amp; Marc Vives, Museum Hours Jennifer Lame, Frances Ha Cindy Lee, Una Noche Nat Sanders, Short Term 12
BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM A Touch Of Sin Blue Is The Warmest ColorGloriaThe Great Beauty The Hunt
BEST DOCUMENTARYThe Act Of Killing After Tiller Gideon's ArmyThe Square Twenty Feet From Stardom
PIAGET PRODUCERS AWARDToby Halbrooks &amp; James M. JohnsonJacob JaffkeAndrea RoaFerderick Thornton
TRUER THAN FICTION AWARDS Kalyanee Mam, A River Changes Course Jason Osder, Let The Fire Burn Stephanie Spray &amp; Pancho Valez, Manakamana
SOMEONE TO WATCH AWARDS Aaron Douglas Johnston, My Sisters' Quinceanera Shaka King, Newlyweeds Madeleine Olnek, The Foxy Merkins
ROBERT ALTMAN AWARDMud

In a post-Harry Potter Avatar and Lord of the Rings world the descriptors "sci-fi" and "fantasy" conjure up particular imagery and ideas. The Hunger Games abolishes those expectations rooting its alternate universe in a familiar reality filled with human characters tangible environments and terrifying consequences. Computer graphics are a rarity in writer/director Gary Ross' slow-burn thriller wisely setting aside effects and big action to focus on star Jennifer Lawrence's character's emotional struggle as she embarks on the unthinkable: a 24-person death match on display for the entire nation's viewing pleasure. The final product is a gut-wrenching mature young adult fiction adaptation diffused by occasional meandering but with enough unexpected choices to keep audiences on their toes.
Panem a reconfigured post-apocalyptic America is sectioned off into 12 unique districts and ruled under an iron thumb by the oppressive leaders of The Capitol. To keep the districts producing their specific resources and prevent them from rebelling The Capitol created The Hunger Games an annual competition pitting two 18-or-under "tributes" from each district in a battle to the death. During the ritual tribute "Reaping " teenage Katniss (Lawrence) watches as her 12-year-old sister Primrose is chosen for battle—and quickly jumps to her aid becoming the first District 12 citizen to volunteer for the games. Joined by Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) a meek baker's son and the second tribute Effie the resident designer and Haymitch a former Hunger Games winner-turned-alcoholic-turned-mentor Katniss rides off to The Capitol to train and compete in the 74th Annual Hunger Games.
The greatest triumph of The Hunger Games is Ross' rich realization of the book's many worlds: District 12 is painted as a reminiscent Southern mining town haunting and vibrant; The Capitol is a utopian metropolis obsessed with design and flair; and The Hunger Games battleground is a sprawling forest peppered with Truman Show-esque additions that remind you it's all being controlled by overseers. The small-scale production value adds to the character-first approach and even when the story segues to larger arenas like a tickertape parade in The Capitol's grand Avenue of Tributes hall it's all about Katniss.
For fans the script hits every beat a nearly note-for-note interpretation of author Suzanne Collins' original novel—but those unfamiliar shouldn't worry about missing anything. Ross knows his way around a sharp screenplay (he's the writer of Big Pleasantville and Seabiscuit) and he's comfortable dropping us right into the action. His characters are equally as colorful as Panem Harrelson sticking out as the former tribute enlivened by the chance to coach winners. He's funny he's discreet he's shaded—a quality all the cast members share. As a director Ross employs a distinct often-grating perspective. His shaky cam style emphasizes the reality of the story but in fight scenarios—and even simple establishing shots of District 12's goings-on—the details are lost in motion blur.
But the dread of the scenario is enough to make Hunger Games an engrossing blockbuster. The lead-up to the actual competition is an uncomfortable and biting satire of reality television sports and everything that commands an audience in modern society. Katniss' brooding friend Gale tells her before she departs "What if nobody watched?" speculating that carnage might end if people could turn away. Unfortunately they can't—forcing Katniss and Peeta to become "stars" of the Hunger Games. The duo are pushed to gussy themselves up put on a show and play up their romance for better ratings. Lawrence channels her reserved Academy Award-nominated Winter's Bone character to inhabit Katniss' frustration with the system. She's great at hunting but she doesn't want to kill. She's compassionate and considerate but has no interest in bowing down to the system. She's a leader but she knows full well she's playing The Capitol's game. Even with 23 other contestants vying for the top spot—like American Idol with machetes complete with Ryan Seacrest stand-in Caesar Flickerman (the dazzling Stanley Tucci)—Katniss' greatest hurdle is internal. A brave move for a movie aimed at a young audience.
By the time the actual Games roll around (the movie clocks in at two and a half hours) there's a need to amp up the pace that never comes and The Hunger Games loses footing. Katniss' goal is to avoid the action hiding in trees and caves waiting patiently for the other tributes to off themselves—but the tactic isn't all that thrilling for those watching. Luckily Lawrence Hutcherson and the ensemble of young actors still deliver when they cross paths and particular beats pack all the punch an all-out deathwatch should. PG-13 be damned the film doesn't skimp on the bloodshed even when it comes to killing off children. The Hunger Games bites off a lot for the first film of a franchise and does so bravely and boldly. It may not make it to the end alive but it doesn't go down without a fight.
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Enigmatic and deliberate Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy makes no reservations while unraveling its heady spy story for better or worse. The film based on the bestselling novel by John Le Carre is purposefully perplexing effectively mirroring the central character George Smiley's (Gary Oldman) own mind-bending investigation of the British MI6's mole problem. But the slow burn pacing clinical shooting style and air of intrigue only go so far—Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy sports an incredible cast that can't dramatically translate the movie's impenetrable narrative. Almost from the get go the movie collapses under its own weight.
After a botched mission in Hungary that saw his colleague Jim (Mark Strong) gunned down in the streets Smiley and his boss Control (John Hurt) are released from the "Circus" (codename for England's Secret Intelligence Service). But soon after Smiley is brought back on board as an impartial observer tasked to uncover the possible infiltration of the organization. The former agent already dealing with the crippling of his own marriage attempts to sift through the history and current goings on of the Circus narrowing his hunt down to four colleagues: Percy aka "Tinker" (Toby Jones) Bill aka "Tailor" (Colin Firth) Roy aka "Soldier" (Ciaran Hinds) and Toy aka "Poor Man" (David Dencik). Working with Peter (Benedict Cumberbatch) a conflicted younger member of the service and Ricki (Tom Hardy) a rogue agent who has information of his own Smiley slowly uncovers the muddled truth—occasionally breaking in to his own work place and crossing his own friends to do so.
Describing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy as dense doesn't seem complicated enough. The first hour of the monster mystery moves at a sloth's pace trickling out information like the tedious drips of a leaky faucet. The talent on display is undeniable but the characters Smiley included are so cold that a connection can never be made. TTSS sporadically jumps around from past to present timelines without any indication: a tactic that proves especially confusing when scenes play out in reoccurring locations. It's not until halfway through that the movie decides to kick into high gear Smiley's search for a culprit finally becoming clear enough to thrill. A film that takes its time is one thing but Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy does so without any edge or hook.
What the movie lacks in coherency it makes up for in style and thespian gravitas. Director Tomas Alfredson has assembled some of the finest British performers working today and they turn the script's inaccessible spy jargon into poetry. Firth stands out as the group's suave slimeball a departure from his usual nice guy roles. Hardy assures us he's the next big thing once again as the agency's resident moppet a lover who breaks down after a romantic fling uncovers horrifying truth. Oldman is given the most difficult task of the bunch turning the reserved contemplative Smiley into a real human. He half succeeds—his observational slant in the beginning feels like an extension of the movie's bigger problems but once gets going in the second half of the film he's quite a bit of fun.
Alfredson constructs Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy like a cinematic architect each frame dripping with perfectly kitschy '70s production design and camera angles that make the spine tingle. He creates paranoia through framing similar to the Coppola's terrifying The Conversation but unlike that film TTSS doesn't have the characters or story to match. The movie strives to withhold information and succeeds—too much so. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy wants us to solve a mystery with George Smiley but it never clues us in to exactly why we should want to.

Salt the propulsive new thriller from Phillip Noyce (Clear and Present Danger Patriot Games) has been dubbed “Bourne with boobs ” but that label isn’t entirely accurate. In the role of Evelyn Salt a CIA staffer hunted by her own agency after a Russian defector fingers her in a plot to murder Russia’s president Angelina Jolie keeps her two most potent weapons holstered hidden under pantsuits and trenchcoats and the various other components of a super-spy wardrobe that proudly emphasizes function over flash.
But flash is one thing Salt never lacks for. Its breathless cat-and-mouse game hits full-throttle almost from the outset when a former KGB officer named Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski) stumbles into a CIA interrogation room and begins spilling details of a vast conspiracy. Back in the ‘70s hardline elements of the Soviet regime launched an ambitious new front in the Cold War flooding the western world with orphans trained to infiltrate the security complexes of their adopted homelands and wait patiently — decades if necessary — for the order to initiate a series of assassinations intended to trigger a devastating nuclear clash between the superpowers from which the treacherous Reds would emerge triumphant.
The Soviet Union may have long ago collapsed (or did it? Hmmm...) but its army of brainwashed killer orphan spies remains in place and if this crazy Orlov fellow is to be believed they stand poised to reignite the Cold War. It’s a preposterous — even idiotic — scheme but no more so than any of our government’s various harebrained proposals to kill Castro back in the ‘60s. As such the CIA treats it with grave seriousness even the part that that pegs Salt who just happens to be a Russian-born orphan herself as a key player in the conspiracy.
Salt bristles at the accusation but suspecting a set-up she opts to flee rather than face interrogation from her bosses Winter (Liev Schreiber) and Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor). A former field agent she’s been confined to a desk job since a clandestine operation in North Korea went south leaving her with a nasty shiner and a rather unremarkable German boyfriend (now her unremarkable German husband). She’s clearly kept up her training during while cubicle-bound however and in a blaze of resourceful thinking and devastating Parkour Fu she fends off a dozen or so agents of questionable competence and takes to the streets where she sets about to clear her name and unravel the Commie orphan conspiracy before the authorities can catch up with her. That is if she isn’t a part of the conspiracy.
The premise which aims to resurrect Cold War tensions and graft them onto a modern-day spy thriller is absurdly clever — and cleverly absurd. But Kurt Wimmer’s screenplay isn’t satisfied with the merely clever and absurd — it must be mind-blowing. Salt is one of those thrillers that ladles out its backstory slowly and in tiny portions every once in a while dropping a revelatory bombshell that effectively blows the lid off everything that happened beforehand. No one is who they seem and every action every gesture no matter how seemingly trivial is imbued with some kind of grand significance. The effect of piling on one insane twist after another has the effect of gradually diluting the narrative. When anything is possible nothing really matters.
But spy thrillers by definition trade in the preposterous and the principal function of the summer blockbuster is to entertain. In that regard Salt more than fulfills its charge. Noyce wisely keeps the story moving at pace that allows little time for asking uncomfortable questions or poking holes in the film’s frail plot. And he has an able partner in the infinitely versatile Jolie who having already exhibited formidable action-hero chops in Wanted and the Tomb Raider films proves remarkably adept at the spy game as well.
It’s well-known that Jolie wasn’t the first choice to star in Salt joining the project only after Tom Cruise dropped out citing the story’s growing similarities to the Mission: Impossible films. But she’s more than just a capable replacement; she’s a welcome upgrade over Cruise not least because she’s over a decade younger (and a few inches taller) than her predecessor. Should Brad Bird require a pinch-hitter for Ethan Hunt he knows where to look.

Former Blink182 rocker Travis Barker and Nicole Richie's ex-fiance Adam 'DJ AM' Goldstein are in a stable condition in a specialist burns unit following a plane crash in South Carolina.
Barker, who once dated Paris Hilton, and Goldstein were hospitalized in after the disaster on Friday, September 19, which left four people dead.
The pals, who recently performed as the 'house band' at the MTV Video Music Awards, were passengers on a California-bound Learjet, which crashed on take-off from Columbia airport after reportedly failing to clear the runway.
Both stars are said to have scrambled from the blazing wreck of the aircraft before emergency rescue services arrived.
Barker and Goldstein are being treated for "extensive burns" at a specialist facility in Georgia. They are both said to be in a critical but stable condition.
The deceased have been identified as pilot Sarah Lemmon, 31, co-pilot James Bland, 52, Charles Still, 25, a close friend of both stars, and Barker's assistant Chris Baker, 29.
A publicist for Barker and Goldstein tells TMZ.com:
"Both Travis Barker and Adam Goldstein ( DJ AM) are in critical but stable condition and are being treated at Joseph M. Still Burn Center in Augusta, Georgia after surviving a plane crash late last night (20Sep08) in Columbia, South Carolina."
Barker's ex-wife, Playboy playmate Shanna Moakler, has reportedly flown out to the medical centre to be by her ex-husband's side.
(c) 2008 WORLD ENTERTAINMENT NEWS NETWORK LTD. All global rights reserved. No unauthorized copying or re-distributing permitted.

Former Blink-182 rocker Travis Barker and Nicole Richie's ex-fiance Adam 'DJ AM' Goldstein are in a stable condition in a specialist burns unit following a plane crash in South Carolina.
Barker, who once dated Paris Hilton, and Goldstein were hospitalized in after the disaster on Friday which left four people dead.
The pals, who recently performed as the 'house band' at the MTV Video Music Awards, were passengers on a California-bound Learjet, which crashed on take-off from Columbia airport after reportedly failing to clear the runway.
Both stars are said to have scrambled from the blazing wreck of the aircraft before emergency rescue services arrived.
Barker and Goldstein are being treated for "extensive burns" at a specialist facility in Georgia. They are both said to be in a critical but stable condition.
The deceased have been identified as pilot Sarah Lemmon, 31, co-pilot James Bland, 52, Charles Still, 25, a close friend of both stars, and Barker's assistant Chris Baker, 29.
A publicist for Barker and Goldstein tells TMZ.com, "Both Travis Barker and Adam Goldstein (DJ AM) are in critical but stable condition and are being treated at Joseph M. Still Burn Center in Augusta, Georgia after surviving a plane crash late last night in Columbia, South Carolina."
Barker's ex-wife, Playboy playmate Shanna Moakler, has reportedly flown out to the medical centre to be by her ex-husband's side.
(c) 2008 WORLD ENTERTAINMENT NEWS NETWORK LTD. All global rights reserved. No unauthorized copying or re-distributing permitted