This is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what
stage of life you’re in. You’ll see what I mean.

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her
about her life and how things were so hard for her – her husband had cheated on
her and she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and
wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon
as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled
three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to
boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in
the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without
saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out
and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl.

Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me
what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to
feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then
asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the
shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to
sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects
had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The
carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to
the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its
thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through
the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were
unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the
water.

“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When
adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or
a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems
strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my
strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but
changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup,
a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a
stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually
changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the
water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean,
when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around
you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate
yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg
or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough
hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along
their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you
can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is
smiling and everyone around you is crying.

No, the grandma was asking how she was going to let the situation mold her. Was it going to make her give up and rain useless, harden her heart to future relationships or show her to regroup and improve her situation.

It takes two people willing and wanting to save the marriage otherwise you have one person without boundaries and one person trespassing the others boundaries. Guard your heart and if he continues to cheat kick him out. The bible states you do not have to stay married to a sexually immoral husband. What good is it to say you've been married for 28 years if the whole time he's been a cheat? Leave sooner than later and find a trustworthy man.

It means....who do you become? The coffee beans add and enrich to their surroundings, they create their surroundings into something wonderful to be enjoyed by others. They do not let their trials boil them, when boiled they enrich their world truly drinkable, enjoyable, adding an aroma so lively and inviting to the worlds senses.

Interesting advice that could only come from one who has experienced her share of adversity. I don't purport to know the right answer in this dilemma but I would be inclined to listen to what an older woman had to say. Often, cheating is just the result of a broken marriage. Before you leave, you should find out why it happened that way.

I believe grandma let her figure out what she will do, how she will respond to this trial that has presented itself in their marriage. The older woman gave her something to think about. Married couple's face many adversities, you don't just end a marriage because your spouse isn't perfect. Infidelity is a serious breach of the covenant, but consider the kids, the home, the families involved, all the good the spouse has done, and so much more. Consider counseling. Main thing, respond to the problem, don't react..... Smart Grandma

I believe grandma let her figure out what she will do, how she will respond to this trial that has presented itself in their marriage. The older woman gave her something to think about. Married couple's face many adversities, you don't just end a marriage because your spouse isn't perfect. Infidelity is a serious breach of the covenant, but consider the kids, the home, the families involved, all the good the spouse has done, and so much more. Consider counseling. Main thing, respond to the problem, don't react..... Smart Grandma

Nobody can and will ever walk exactly in someone else's shoes... Only the person can make the decision or judgement on what to do and funnily enough the more people you talk to or hear from the more confusing it can become. We are all giving advice from our own life point of view or experience which may not be beneficial to someone else. But !!! the grandma did give good advice remaining neutral but giving her some tools she can use to get through it not matter what the outcome. As Dr Wayne Dyer says 'We are a product of every decision we make', So choose wisely...