Family

I want you to promise me something. That today will be the last day you play it small.

That from this day forward you will dream big, live bigger, seek the biggest, and demand greatness in every aspect of your life. Envision your life and dreams until it seems so big it scares you. Remind yourself that you deserve the best and you’ll have it no other way. I want you to start seeking and living a life of excellence.

Envision yourself as if it already happened. As if you already have it. Live as if.Continue reading

Let’s start by defining glow up, according to Urban Dictionary, it’s to go from the bottom to the top to the point of disbelief; an incredible transformation. As we enter the second half of the year, I can’t help but reflect on what an amazing year this has been for me personally and professionally. Everyone that I’ve met this year has been making strides to truly glow up and make sure that those with them do as well.

But what happens when someone you want to glow up, doesn’t want the same thing?

Without even trying expectations are placed on people that they may not be able to satisfy. There is this notion that people ought know certain things and for this reason many individuals are left disappointed. The one term that really aggravates me is “common sense”. But common sense for who, by who and according to who. Truth be told common sense differs for many reasons (culture, class, religion, race etc.). Your “common sense” may not be that of your child, friend, spouse, lover etc. and vice versa. If common sense was so very common when a person applied for and secured a job he or she wouldn’t need a job description. I applied for a job as a person, I understand what a janitor does so common sense should tell me I’m suppose to clean

If one never communicates what he or she expects unfortunately the expectations are empty and unhealthy. Empty because this gives the argument “how was I suppose to know you expected that”. Unhealthy because if someone doesn’t satisfy your “expectation” it could cause you unnecessary stress.

Here are three things to consider doing when setting expectations that could be viewed as silent:

You don’t have to give to everyone, every time, for everything. You can be selfish with how you choose to give. Whether it’s in volunteer work, donations, or to people who expect you do what they need. Yes, family and friends are included because they’re the ones who also expect you to give without limits whenever they need you.

Here are some ways to give that will make your heart smile without feeling like you’ve given everything to everyone.

1. Give to the things you believe in. Just because they ask doesn’t mean you have to give.
2. Share random acts of kindness. Letting someone in front of you, donating to a fundraiser.
3. Volunteer for an hour or two, don’t say yes to all day if you know that’s not what you want. Don’t let them talk you into it, stand firm.
4. Money drop. This is by far my favorite one. Give any amount you want. This is easy to do and fun if you have little ones; Get single dollars and fold them into a small square. Then get a small sticky note and write a positive message on them. Then just drop them on the ground in random places. My favorite place was when my son was in sports, I’d drop them around the school, the gymnasium, bathrooms, outside with notes such as be kind, smile, say thank you, you’re smart, you’re kind, and don’t cheat. You get the idea.
5. Volunteer for causes you believe in and take your kids with you.
6. Write a check or shop for organizations in your area. Call the local retirement home to see if you can donate or help. My son and I write out Valentines cards to the local retirement home near us every year since he was around 7, they’re all signed Cupid.
7. Bring a dish this holiday season to the house you go to not just Tupperware bowls, lol. Yes, I had to throw that in.

Don’t let others guilt you into how you should give, who you should give to, or the way you give. Be selfish with your generosity.

When is the last time you sat down and actually felt like you had time to breathe? Hopefully, at a minimum, it was last Saturday.

For me that may mean that the entire house won’t be cleaned, all the laundry won’t get washed and put away. It may even mean a drive-thru for dinner. But I’m not running ragged trying to get everything done when I’m falling apart. So I’ve learned over the years to stop trying to do everything for everyone, and have them pitch in.

Here are a couple tips that have saved me and my family from meltdowns and letdowns. Continue reading

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