Carnival "Poop" Cruises, tickets for which are cheaper than usual for some reason, will not reimburse the Coast Guard the $780,000 it spent rescuing the crap-encrusted Triumph from itself, the AP reports.

Carnival was responding to a letter from West Virginia Senator Jay Rockefeller in which he noted that because Carnival is incorporated in Panama, it pays "little to nothing in federal taxes" -- taxes that, by the way, pay for the Coast Guard to rescue its ships when they catch on fire and are adrift in the Gulf of Mexico for five days. Or in the Pacific Ocean for three days.

The cruise line, owned by the same corporation that owns Italy's Costa Cruises (of Concordia "fame"), didn't quite say it wouldn't pay the Coast Guard back, just that it would "honor maritime tradition that holds that the duty to render assistance at sea to those in need is a universal obligation of the entire maritime community." Carnival made sure to point out that its ships have assisted the Coast Guard in other rescues, so they should be square, right?

In other Carnival news, its Fascinationrecently failed a health inspection from the Center for Disease Control.

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