Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Good evening friends. Mom finally let me back on the computer! I thought I would follow up on her last few posts and her journey as a single lady. Of course I still don't understand why she thinks she needs anyone other than me, Bella, me, Olive and again ME!

As a reminder I'm Bob, but if we haven't met, you can call me Robert. Bob is reserved for friends and family. Now I'm a dachshund and if you know anything about dachshunds you know we like to bark. Some who know me may say I bark more than normal or more than necessary, I of course disagree. I find myself to be a fantastic judge of character, so if you plan on coming to visit my house, and YES it is MY house (I'm the only male you know!), you best be glad I'm only barking because oh the things I would share if I could speak in human talk. But for a few pointers let me translate some of my language for you.

1) Continuos barking at you- I DON'T LIKE YOU, PLEASE LEAVE MY HOUSE

2) Barking followed by a sniff while you're not looking- I PROBABLY DON'T LIKE YOU AND TURNING TO LOOK AT ME WHILE SMELLING YOU LESSENS YOUR CHANCES!

3) Barking at my Mom in your presence- MOM THIS PERSONS NO GOOD, TRUST ME, ASK THEM TO LEAVE NOW.

4) Barking at children- I DON'T LIKE CHILDREN, PLEASE KEEP YOUR SMALL HUMAN UNDER CONTROL. GO PLAY WITH THE BIG DOG, OLIVE.

5) Barking but then accepting a pet- I PROBABLY DON'T LIKE YOU, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HANGING OUT SO I'LL APPEASE MY MOM FOR NOW. MOVE TOO QUICKLY THOUGH AND OUR PSUEDO FRIENDSHIP IS OVER. RETURN TO START.

If you are on my select list of friends, feel honored. As for now I have stopped accepting applications while I continue to convince Mom she doesn't need any man in her life when she's got ME!