Warner’s sledge was ‘a nod to the pre-1973 language test, when things were simpler’.

Former Australian cricketer David Warner has made his return to club cricket following his suspension for ball tampering and it has resulted in an increase in crowds, plenty of runs (Warner scored 150 odd) and a significant rise in the share price of Bunnings hardware.

“Friday afternoon and Saturday morning we couldn’t keep the shelves stocked with sandpaper, it was literally flying off the shelves,” said a Bunnings Spokesperson. “The pleasing thing was that it was mostly young kids dressed in their cricket whites who were buying the sandpaper.”

“It’s good to see someone like Warner give back to his local community. The influence he has on the local kids is truly inspiring.”

When asked how he feels to be back playing cricket David Warner said: “Good to be back out there amongst the boys. I felt I was really putting in today, I got in some good sledges especially against the opposition’s younger players those pricks didn’t know what hit them.”

“And oh yeah I scored some runs as well, now I gotta go and do some more press then egg the opposition captain’s car.”