The Keystone XL Debate in 1 brief act.

TransCanada, to the US, regarding the siting and routing of the Keystone XL Pipeline route across the Ogallala Aquifer in Nebraska:

TransCanada needs to have the Keystone XL pipeline exactly in the route that has been studied and it cannot move. Sorry Nebraska and Ogallala Aquifer. There is no other possibility. The net economic, geopolitical, and security benefits of imported tar sand oil from Canada outweigh the concerns of Nebraska over a vital water source, and US protests over the dirty, polluting nature of the Alberta Tar Sands project.

The US cannot delay the Keystone XL pipeline. It will have crushing economic effects, and the US must have Keystone XL. Didn’t you hear us talk about the benefits? Getting off of Foreign Oil, and increasing trade relations with your northside neighbors?

We don’t like where this is going, US. Remember, TransCanada does not need the US for the tar sand oil. If the US delays Keystone XL, TransCanada will take its cheap oil to other markets who are desperate for our oil and who will not treat a loyal friend like this. Also, Jobs! Iraq! Oil!

Okay, seriously, US, TransCanada doesn’t need you. Don’t miss your opportunity because the tar sand project does not rely on the United States to purchase this oil. We have so many buyers in Asia. You know Asia? They want it.

We’re not kidding. We are not moving it and we not delaying this pipeline. It is impossible. This route has been studied and it is the safest route there is. The environmental impacts have been studied and forecasted and you have nothing to worry about, trust us, your own government studied the impacts.

It cannot move. We’re serious. A delay only hurts you, not us. Remember those other buyers? They are real; we swear it, they are real. TransCanada is dead set against negotiating another pipeline route. It won’t happen. You need us.