So like Pinky I am going to take this out of left field and come up with something a little different?

Seven ways I MAY have embarrassed my children, I know only seven, being a bit optimistic perhaps?

I recently heard this quote so I know I am in good company.

If your children have never hated you at some point then you haven’t been a parent

1. Well that would be my laugh, you can hear me from a mile away and to top it off my laugh frightens small children and makes babies cry. True story I kid you not.

Ali is trying to lick me to death

2. Hiding behind a hedge and watching my children walk to the bus stop, which were about 150 metres down the street. You see we lived opposite the primary school, so when it was time for high school they insisted on taking the bus. Seeing an opportunity for independence and an escape route from mother’s claws, I have no doubt I would have done the same had I been in their position. Here’s how it went.

A friend of Brittany’s watches her approach, standing at the bus stop, the both turned and looked up towards me.

Friend ‘I think I see your mum hiding in the hedge”?

Brittany ‘She thinks I’m going to going to be stolen’. I can hear her sighing.

There was a time that they used to try to lick each otheras a form of punishment, rarely happened as they weretoo busy laughing

Damn right I thought that, I have even followed a bus because the girl in the back seat who was talking animatedly to the girl next to her looked like my younger daughter from behind and I couldn’t imagine why she was on that bus, panic set in.

No, no it wasn’t her, I remember racing home and asking Brittany where her sister was, safe and sound thankfully and wasn’t being kidnapped, trapped on the 770.

3. The time the girls were dancing and I insisted to the teacher that they wear flesh coloured body suits under their costumes as I thought the costumes were too revealing. Well a few followed my lead, so at least I wasn’t alone. Sure my girls bowed their head in shame, ho hum.

4. Samantha was going away for a week-long basketball camp with the Baptist College. No I don’t possess a religious bone in my body so yes I was freaked out that she was going to be converted, besides she has major sleep issues. I also knew that supervision would be at just about zero and I was right. She was so angry with me and still is to this day, that I went on that trip. Fair call though I did take Brittany and she ended up filling in for them. Yes she came into our room and slept with us as the others were up all night and she was a train wreck.

I made them decent salad rolls for lunch rather than the crap they were eating from the canteen, I don’t count potato chips, chocolate and fizzy drink as a nutritious lunch. She is now 24 and still not over it. I have said, ‘Well what goes around comes around so we shall see what magic you do as a mother.’ By the way they won GOLD!

This was last year for the Mothers Day walkSam organised for us.

5. I have to stop sending texts to my daughter when I have been drinking as they make no sense. There was a lot of confusion about:

A top

Green earrings

A top

Earrings

A green top

More earrings

Which top

6. Now for my best that I don’t think I will be able to top is this. Sitting at a family lunch at the newly refurbished #NationalHotel in #Fremantle. Potential son in law, is talking about getting a new motor bike.

I said, ‘So are you selling your other one’ (bike).

He said, ‘ No I’m going to keep both’.

I said, ‘But don’t you think it’s about time you put a ring on it’. (5 years)

Sam looked at me evilly well if looks could kill I’d be dead, but I just rallied on and the potential son in law just laughed and laughed. Me think he gets my humour more than my daughter does.

So now you know why my blog is called ‘I opened my mouth and it ran away without me’.

7. Oh and I haven’t had seven boyfriends either, a grand total of three (3) I’m not embarrassed, well maybe a little.

My turn to nominate, so many to choose from, so here goes:

One Mother Hen who has yummy recipes, a sense of humour and always makes me smile