JUST LIKE THE ONION PEEL

01-September-2018

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR

We all go through certain phases in life — good and bad. Most of us have an innate tendency to suppress painful emotions. When you suppress them, you fail to remember them until they emerge anew to bother you. The result is that you not only feel the pain, but also its clumsy scar, with amplified intensity. This is like the cooked food you kept on the table and forgot to deposit in the refrigerator. You get to know about your gaffe only when it emits a lousy smell, after you return home from work. Next time, you would be careful — because, you would remember the stink. You can deal with suppressed emotions in much the same manner. Just freeze them; but, don’t put them in the freezer. There is no need for it. Because, once you empty the freezer in your mind — you will begin to heal yourself and regain what you had lost in terms of emotional health too. Purging your ‘frozen’ emotional freezer is always the best thing you can do anytime in life, or career.

This is spiritual self-help therapy. It is akin to beginning to ‘feel’ again, or understanding that you are what you are, or what you will be. The idea involves a host of steps and concepts, because it is not easy to pack-off your negative feelings. It is not like washing clothes, or utensils — for the detergent to scour the blemish. It is not like how you switch on the electric bulb, or switch it off when you want to. You do this by instinct. Philosophers agree that it is far too difficult than we think to switch-off feelings generated in the present-moment. Because, we are ‘hooked’ to our old feelings, through the remote that works incessantly in our mind. What’s more, when we begin to re-establish or balance our emotions, we are invariably connected to our past.

Is there a way out of this impasse? Yes, there is, because the mind, that you and I possess, is smart enough to recognise whether or not we can handle our emotions at different levels. When we begin to re-focus again, we initiate a measured process. Our mind will now begin to feel what it is made to feel. Agreed that it may have its own plan of action, independent of what the great seers, philosophers, spiritual masters, or self-help gurus, may have told us. Yet, the fact is when we endeavour to feel contented we transfer our thoughts and feelings to the ‘mental chip’ that regulates our emotions. We feel better — and, in synchrony with ourselves.

This process is quite like what happens when you peel an onion, layer by layer. Not filling your eyes with tears, thanks to the natural compounds that exist in the vegetable. It is like getting in touch with your feelings, one layer at a time. The more you peel, the more layers of your emotional feelings emerge. Eventually, you get down to the core of your being. Once this happens, you grow in common sense, wisdom and acceptance too. The outcome is apparent — you are in control, and you also begin to understand yourself with greater awareness vis-à-vis your inner emotional quotient.

The precept, or percept, of beginning to feel again is not as complicated as it may sound. It requires the yielding and compliant feelings that you are hurt, and you are now going to come to terms with it. Once you attain this level of acceptance, you will be able to recognise the futility of your past behaviour — running, or escaping, from reality and/or suppressed emotions.