In the ’80s, however, it’s totally acceptable for a grown-ass man to gaze longingly at his teenaged student in class, follow her through the halls, and call her up at night just to hear her voice before hanging up. Certainly, Richie’s boldly obsessive behavior is enabled by his beloved student’s blindness (in the literal sense). And I suppose her blindness is what makes it TOTALLY ROMANTIC for her to create a clay likeness of her teacher’s face during her elective period. Right?

I wanted to believe this was college, given the lecture-hall atmosphere of the opening sequence, but those locker shots threw this whole thing for a pervy loop.

However, my intention with this flashback is not to turn you against our friend Lionel. So let’s put this ill-considered teacher role out of our minds, and focus on Richie-as-champion-of-wholesome-dance-parties, as seen below:

Also, here’s a dude who crafted a song primarily using samples from the guitar part at the end of “Hello.” Crazy.