Blog Roll

1. Stuff, everywhere. All kinds of stuff, stuff you've never even heard of. Creams, how many creams? Why do they make so many different kinds? No worries, give it a few weeks and you'll be using some speacialst elbow cream / forehead moisturiser with or without her knowledge.

2. Food - well at least you think you can eat it. Are seeds really food though? What is this chia nonsense? Grains? The sooner you understand that women have eating habits similar to birds (eating very often and sometimes small amounts) the sooner you can make peace with this bird / woman issue.

3. No meat monday, or tuesday or whatever - just watch out because it may just turn into 'plant based living'

4. Making the bed - you know what, it doesn't matter, because what ever you do, you'll have done it wrong.

5. Containers, you didn't even know there could be so many things to hold things. In fact, you may even start noticing containers for the containers.

6. Hairs, on your head! Jeez what were you thinking? Anyway, hairs - they will be... everywhere. Just, everywhere. When you've done a wash, open up the machine, oh hey there cluster of long woman hair that is quite digusitng. On the sofa, from the corner of your eye when you have friends over. On the kitchen floor, naturally. You may even pull them out of your pants.

7. Things that smell, scented items will rapidly fill up your home. All the kinds of smells, scent diffusers, candles - wow candles, you may even have found yourself with they type of woman that uses those old fashioned aromatherapy burners. ME OK, IT'S ME. I USE THOSE.

8. Mornings will never be the same, low maintenance, high maintenance or just straight up constant maintaining - women need time. The mirror is her enemy, a sort of black hole, where when looked into, time ceases to exist. Things may be forgotten, tooth brushing will be a squabble, pushing past one another in a frenzy (all brought on by her) because someone left their tea / coffee somewhere and maybe these shoes don't go with these earrings?!

9. Cooking, is an event. Not a thing you do when you're hungry. Orchestrated, cleverly planned, sometimes even rehearsed. Cooking can be the thing that makes a bad day good. Get on board.

10. Love, if it's your girl mate that you live with, your girlfriend, finance or even wife, you cannot be prepared for the love a woman will dish out. They will listen to your work frustrations, let you watch football - even say sorry when you lost 3-0 against Chelsea, get you pudding, help make the house smell good, make you feel better, make you live a little tidier and probably improve your diet.