Vice President Pence (VPP) – Mr. President, thank you for keeping this a secret and I apologize for the late hour.

President Trump (PT) – Mike, what the hell is going on here? I was in the middle of a very important tweet. I superimposed Jim Acosta’s head on a walrus and he was looking really stupid.

VPP – Sorry Mr. President. I’m sure that was really important but this is critical.

PT – Alright, now that I’m here, what gives?

VPP – In this top-secret military lab our top men have been perfecting a practical method for time travel.

PT – Hey that’s great Mike. Now I can go back in time and make bets on sports games and get rich like Biff did in Back to the Future Part 2.

VPP – Actually Sir, going back in time and changing it is a very dangerous thing to do. And it’s one of the reasons I called you here.

PT – I don’t get it. I haven’t even done anything yet. Why are you already giving me grief about it?

VPP – Actually it’s Hillary Clinton that’s the problem here.

PT – What does Crooked Hillary have to do with my time machine.

VPP – Your time machine? Oh, never mind. Let me explain. Secretary Clinton found out about the project from Obama back when he was pillaging the United States of America. After your election victory she has been looking for some way to thwart the election results and she selected the time machine as the last resort. She plans to go back in time and change history in some way that will allow her to become the president. In fact, she has already used the machine.

PT – Doesn’t this old hag ever quit? So how do we stop her?

VPP – Mr. President, if you’ve read Heinlein’s “All You Zombies” or watched “Back to the Future” you know that tampering with the past can be catastrophic.

PT – Yeah, yeah. Like when Michael J. Fox starts disappearing from the polaroid photo of his family. Which if you think about it doesn’t really make any sense. Boy, that Spielberg really was a slacker. So, I’m in danger of ceasing to exist.

VPP – Precisely. We think Hillary will attempt to prevent you from being born by interfering in your parents’ lives. In fact, we think she’s already succeeded.

PT – Well, then why am I still here?

VPP – Because this lab has an inertial time field associated with it that delays changes to the temporal fabric of the universe within a range of 5 miles and for a period of about two weeks.

PT – Good thing for me.

VPP – Ain’t it the truth.

PT – Okay, get me the DeLaurean or put me in the machine and send me back. Will I be naked like the Terminator?

VPP – No Mr. President.

PT – Good. Because despite his terrible work on The Apprentice, Schwarzenegger definitely looks better naked than I do at the moment. I really have to lay off the pasta.

VPP – Mr. President we don’t have much time. We’ve got to set up the machine and plan out the mission. Hillary is wearing a controller that looks like a lady’s Rolex that allows her to move forward and back in time to whatever point in history she wants. We will provide you with an equivalent controller in a men’s Rolex.

PT – I’d prefer a Trump Chronichron. It looks like a Rolex but can be purchased at Macy’s for only $450. It’s quite a deal.

VPP – I’m sorry Mr. President, there’s no time.

PT – That statement seems ironic under these circumstances.

VPP – I am aware. Now in addition to allowing the wearer to time travel the watch allows us to keep track of the traveler. For instance, we know that Hillary is currently in 5th Century B.C. Athens. We will send you there first. Your mission is to thwart any actions by Hillary and protect the outline of Western Civilization throughout our timeline. Do you have any questions?

PT – Yes, can I bring guns?

VPP – No Mr. President, that would be extremely damaging to the thread of history.

PT – I figured you’d say that. You know Mike, you really should learn how to live a little.

VPP – Sure.

PT – Alright, I’m ready. Let her rip.

VPP – God speed Mr. President. We’re all rooting for you. None of us want Hillary for a boss. She’s a lousy bitch.

Epilogue:

As you know if you’ve read “The Funeral Oration of Trumpicles” Donald was successful in defeating Hillary (or as she was called back then Clintoninus). Stay tuned for the further adventures of Time-Traveler-Trump as he does battle in the day before yesterday to save tomorrow!

Note: A prequel has been written to this post. Sorry for the complication.

General Trumpicles – (GT) – People of Athens, and remember Athens is the greatest city in the world, I speak to you today as your leader, and you love me, you really do. I stand before you today to say that Sparta is low energy and rumor of their military strength is fake news, it really is.

(loud and prolonged cheering)

Yes, yes you love me, of course you do. How could you not? I return to you victorious after defeating the Thebans and building the long walls out to the Piraeus and getting the Spartans to pay for it. And considering how poor and cheap the Spartans are it wasn’t easy. Trust me!

(prolonged chanting of “Sparta Sucks, Sparta Sucks)

Yes, yes they do, they really do. And there it’s actually fashionable but let’s not get homophobic. What I want to say is that Athens is the greatest city in the world and I’m the greatest leader in the world and you’re all so lucky to live in this Fifth Century B.C. Golden Age. Although I really don’t know what B.C. means and fifth century from what? But who cares? It’s golden and that’s enough. Next week we’ll be opening up the new Trumpicles Temple and Casino. Some people want to call it the Parthenon. They think that statue is Athena. But it’s really Melania. And Parthenon for her would be misleading. Enough said.

I just want to say a few words about how great Athens is and why it’s great. It’s great because we make the best deals and we are smarter than the other greeks and because we don’t take crap from anyone. Darius landed here when our fathers were poor farmers and told us to pay tribute and we told him to stick it in his ear. And he burned down the city because it was built of wood. And we’ve rebuilt it out of marble. And he fought us at Marathon and we kicked his ass.

(prolonged chanting of “Persia Sucks, Persia Sucks)

Yeah, they do. But be generous. At least they’re not the Spartans.

(loud and raucous laughing)

And don’t forget that it was the Trumpicles Corporation that rebuilt Athens in marble. And it was the finest Parian marble and no expense was spared and it is the showcase of the Aegean Sea. Now you may be asking yourself, “why does Trumpicles do all this.”? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s because I’m a man of the people. I’m not like that Crooked Clintoninus. I never make an obol on any of these deals I make for you. It’s well documented that I’m the greatest leader that you will ever have. After me it’ll be one long slide down into Palookaville and then Alexander and the Macedonians will turn this place into a parking lot for the tourists. But for as long as you’ve got me, the good times will roll and you won’t have to worry about anything except how to spend the drachmas. So to sum it up, Athens is the greatest city because I’m the greatest leader, you love me and Sparta sucks. Good night everybody.

The President of the United States sends out a joke video mockingly portraying CNN as his wrestling opponent being body slammed and pummeled. CNN portrays the joke as a dangerous provocation of violence against reporters and threatens the creator of the joke, who turns out to be a 16 year-old boy, with public exposure (doxing). The public turns on CNN and an uproar ensues. CNN goes silent as the lawyers try to think through the options. Hilarity erupts within the Alt-Right.
What the hell is going on here? Has the whole adult world descended into anarchy? What’s next? Will President Trump and CNN now start counter-claiming to the world that, “He started it first.”? I have to confess that I have relished the way Trump hits back at these clowns with unorthodox and devastating rhetoric. He has achieved the up until now unheard of result of a republican president out-gotcha-ing the press. But I’m starting to worry that this will eventually spin completely out of control. How long before the press gets desperate? And what would that look like? Would they try to fabricate a damning story out of thin air and plaster it on the front page? Oh wait, they’ve already been doing that for the last seven months. Might they dredge up ugly events from Trump’s private life to tarnish his name? Whoops, ship’s sailed on that one too. I guess the only thing they have left is challenging him to a duel. But they’re such cowards that the only weapons they would feel comfortable wielding are microphones. And they’ve been brandishing those at him for years already and without any effect.
So it looks like they are going to have to either slink away and lick their wounds or continue to go toe to toe against a man who knows their version of character assassination better than they do. I guess I’m too squeamish. I should be glad for the fact that the MSM is allowing their credibility to evaporate. After all they are completely dishonest. But it seems that at this rate there won’t be anything left that the public does believe in. Or in some crazy reverse polarity world, does President Trump emerge as the only honest man? For all his many character faults and idiosyncrasies he is trying to do what he said he would do and represent the people who voted for him. Maybe he can accomplish his entire agenda and then turn the rest of his presidency (eight years) into a reality show. Maybe he can call it “So You Call Yourself a News Organization.” Each week he can host a compilation of the worst of the NY Times or MSNBC and grill some network big shot about the awful job on display. That’s bound to be good for the White House and who knows, it might be good for the news business too. If they at least acknowledge some of the dishonest things they do and promise to fix them maybe people will begin to believe they can do their jobs honestly. It’s unlikely but it is possible.

Morning Shmoe (MS) – Welcome back from that commercial break and it’s 13 and 1/8th minutes after the quarter hour and we’re here at the newly refurbished set of the Morning Shmoe Show. And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how much better it is to be us, young and in love and not old and racist like President Trump.

Lycra Spandexy (LS) – Yes, he’s a creep with small hands and bad hair. He’s not beautiful like me. I am still very, very young and don’t need a facelift and would never get one and besides it’s called a dermatological procedure and everyone gets them because they’re young and not because they need them.

MS – That’s right sweety. But this is not about us. It’s about this very bad man.

LS – Yes, he’s a very bad man. And there was no blood and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

MS – Okay honey, let’s move on. So, as you all know we’re deeply in love and being together here on the show and also constantly morning, noon and night, all day every day is great. We never tire of each other’s company and we do everything together. Every single blessed thing. …. And it’s great! Really, really, really … great.

LS – Yes, and I tell Shmoe every little thing that pops into my head. Like yesterday when the girl doing my nails told me that I had a cold sore on my lip and I said it was a white-head and she said it was herpes and I told her that my dermatologist told me that you can tell if it’s herpes because you get that tingling feeling ahead of time and then you use the Abreva and then it’s a lot less icky and nobody can notice it under the make-up on the show and I don’t have to go on assignment for a week and that’s really great and I told her that it was a white-head and I knew that because it looked like a white-head and I popped it with a pin and squeezed out the puss and then it hurt but not much and it looks like it will heal without a scab that’s noticeable so I won’t have to go on assignment for a week. And Shmoe was so interested while he sat there listening and drinking that scotch without the water and I asked him if he wanted some water but he just kept filling up that tumbler and I said, “Boy that’s a lot of scotch and he just kept smiling and nodding his head and it was great.”

MS – Yeah that was great. Really, really, really … great.

LS – But Producer Jorge says we have a caller on the line. Hello caller, you’re on the Morning Shmoe Show. What would you like to say?

President Trump (PT) – Hello Lycra, it’s me President Trump. I was told by some of my friends who are forced to watch terrible shows like yours for a living about the nasty things you’ve been saying about me. I figured I’d call up and set the record straight.

MS – Trump, you’ve got a lot of nerve calling us up and invading our safe space. But we’re not scared of you and we won’t be intimidated by your bullying.

PT – I won’t need to bully you, I only want to ask you one question.

MS – What’s that?

PT – Did the network force you to marry her for ratings? Because if not then I don’t get it. I mean to have to listen to that blathering for an hour or two in the morning is doable, but all the time? I mean come on! Don’t you ever feel like just putting a bullet in your head to stop the incessant babble.

LS – Hah, that’s ridiculous. Just because you are a cave-man and don’t value women for their intelligence doesn’t mean all men are that way. Shmoe loves to hear my opinions. Like this morning when we were in the middle of that long commute from Jersey and I started telling Shmoe about what my mother told me the other day about how when I was a little girl and my sister stole my “My Pretty Pony” doll and I told her to give it back and she said it was hers because she said I promised to give it to her if she told me what Marcy said about me to Charlene but I told her that I found out from Debby what Marcy really said and it wasn’t what she told me and my mother said that I really hurt my sister’s feelings and to this day she still wants that doll and she told my mother that my face looks too tight after that dermatological procedure that I didn’t have done and I told Mom that that was mean and I thought that my sister’s butt had gotten really fat and I wasn’t going to give up the doll. And then I asked Shmoe wasn’t he going too fast and why was he swerving toward the guard rail and then he laughed and laughed. And he laughed so hard that a tear was in his eye and then I told him that I was enrolling us in a couple’s yoga class and there was a jazzercise section too.

The line goes there are only two seasons in New England. Winter and July. Usually I have this big family gathering in July. It’s a ton of planning and communication and it sort of monopolizes a good chunk of the month with the before, during and after. But conflicting commitments have forced me to schedule the event in late August. In a way, this is kind of a good thing. This means I can enjoy July on its own merits. So, the New England statement about July acknowledges the fact that July is pure summer. June can start out feeling like spring. August can end up feeling like fall. July has no excuses. It has to deliver. Too many children (and adults) are depending on it. On Bastille Day, I want to look up at a pale blue sky with a blazing sun forcing me to close my eyes and feel the heat of the daystar on my face. I want to lay in a hammock under a shady tree and hear the deafening whir of the cicadas in the trees overhead. I want a hot breeze to blow over me and feel the oven-like heat surround me and make me think that jumping in a swimming pool is actually a good idea. I want a glass of lemonade to seem tempting. I want to be so lazy that reading an old book like Dandelion Wine sounds strenuous. I want to put off anything difficult like watching old movies or eating ice cream until night. I want to watch a baseball game as if I actually care who wins. I want to take my grandsons fishing. I want to take the perfect photo of the Milky Way or a dragonfly’s eye. I want to write a classic short story. And I want to spend one whole day just trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

As you can tell I’m pretty passionate about July. Truth be told July belongs to me. I patented it many years ago. I own it lock stock and barrel. So, I feel it’s my duty to reap the maximum benefit from it every year. And once it’s over I relinquish my hold on summer. After that it’s fitting to put aside childish things. It’ll be time to start considering the realities of the calendar. And sure, there are all kinds of things to look forward to in Autumn. There’s Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas ahead with all that those entail. But never again for the rest of the year ahead is there that feeling of pure freedom. Maybe it’s my Mediterranean blood. Possibly northern peoples don’t crave the intemperate heat of July. Or maybe if I lived in a southern state I would have my fill of heat and shun July’s burning sun. Maybe. But neither of these is the case. I truly believe that if July disappoints and does not present me with the extreme weather I crave then my whole year is spoiled and I will go into the colder seasons weakened and at a disadvantage.

So, you see July is my time. Maybe I’m not the only one who feels this way. But trust me, July belongs to me. The rest of you just get to borrow it. But I don’t mind sharing. You’re welcome. Enjoy.

Greetings OCF readers. We have some newer readers out there who may not have dipped into the archives far enough back to the aftermath of the November election to have read my post Of Trump, the Alt-Right and Me but after rereading it and comparing the position of the country and the direction we may be heading I thought it still reflects my feelings on how I see myself in relation to the new right and how I think their vision of the future differs from my aspirations for America. It’s fair to say that I can see the value of the Alt-Right’s rejection of establishment conservatism’s legitimacy based on its failure to resist any progressive actions no matter how egregious. For the last few years I’ve followed some of the Alt-Right sites and read what they had to say about the left and the right and found some pretty astute observations. But I can’t see myself accepting the dark vision of the future they forsee. I want to think America can survive the insanity that the progressives have imposed on us. They don’t.

After rereading the post I was satisfied with my summation of where things stand. But I felt it was fair to give the new readers an idea of where I stand vis-a-vis the “Alt-Right.” In a nutshell, I acknowledge their accuracy about the old right. I agree with their direction of fighting back and building alternate institutions and entities to bypass the progressive controlled media, schools and corporations and in fact I support some of these efforts myself. I see no need to disown or attack their membership seeing as they are the enemy of my enemy. But I can’t allow myself to believe that their dark vision of the future is inevitable. Holding people accountable under impartial law and respecting the freedoms we already should have under the Bill of Rights seems like the basis for a cohesive society. If we get back to such a place I still believe it can be a good place to live and raise children. That’s what I believe. Maybe I’ll find out if it’s true.

Fifty years into this egregious bout of cultural devolution it is probably worth analyzing what we’ve learned. What seems clear is that the leaders of the supposed pillars of the old regime have proven themselves almost completely useless at withstanding the onslaught of the forces of dissolution. A closer examination of how this conflict proceeds demonstrates that these supposed leaders don’t actually care about the values of their institutions. Their primary motivation is maintaining their positions and prestige. They are completely comfortable with compromising their morals and even the legitimacy of their organizations if doing so will extend their places in the hierarchy. This has allowed almost unlimited damage to be done to the structure of human culture. It has been responsible for plummeting birth rates, widespread divorce and the crumbling of families. It also has contributed to an enormous increase in mental illness and depression. It is hard to imagine that the continuation of this trend for even a very short time won’t prove fatal to our people and way of life.

Looking around I see that several groups and individuals have begun to produce strategies and tactics to allow both offensive and defensive activities.

Right wing blogs provide articles and discussion on who the enemy is and what tactics work best against them. A good example is Vox Day’s excellent book “SJWs Always Lie.”

These same websites also act as news sources that allow you to bypass the mainstream media.

On the religious side Rod Dreher wrote his book “The Benedict Option” to awaken orthodox believers to the severity of the problem and provide information on support organizations and tactics to protect families and educate kids on what it means to be a conservative Christian.

Donald Trump provided us with a concrete example of what it means to expose the sell-outs in the republican party and call out the liars in the main stream media and get your message out there by social media and your own websites.

Grassroots activism coordinated by some of the right-wing pundits and more prominent individuals can push back against thugs paid for by Soros and other progressive bankrollers.

And finally, it becomes important to start building alternate structures to bypass the ones completely infested with progressives. Once again Vox Day has taken the lead with a publishing company that seeks out non-progressive authors. In addition to the science fiction and fantasy books that are the staple of Castalia House his company also produces books of interest to people on the right wing. He started up Infogalactic as an alternative to Wikipedia. And other individuals are building non-progressive structures too. Gab was started as an alternative to Twitter and Brave is an alternative browser that isn’t slanted to the left like Google.

Looking at this situation gives a mixed impression. Something like Trump winning the presidency and possessing majorities in the House, Senate and Supreme Court should be a reason for great hope and enthusiasm. But progress is sporadic and push back from the Deep State and the press is insanely vicious. The contrast in strength between the rich and powerful progressive institutions like the colleges and other schools, Hollywood and the Media against the tiny fledgling conservative websites and other businesses is staggering. And yet, being able to read free thoughts and express your own opinion is intoxicating.

What seems apparent is that the odds are daunting. But what also seems true is that the news black-out against our side is no longer as effective as before. Word is starting to get out. When Steve Bannon goes from Breitbart News to the White House change is definitely happening.

So, what I think can be said is that the road is a very long one. But the first few steps have been taken and the direction is known. My advice is link up with the others out there who are against the progressives. Remember that the enemy of your enemy is your ally. Don’t get into battles over our differences. Look to form ties to like-minded folks. But beware those in the republican party who attack Trump and say we must be “fair.” What they mean is kowtow to the politically correct nonsense that gives the progressives the whip hand.

And support any of these alternative structures that are formed. They need your help, patronage and encouragement. And if you can build anything of your own do it. If you have a talent or a knowledge base use it. And don’t get discouraged. It took half a century to get us in this mess. We won’t clean it up in a year or even a few but we can start to build a new foundation for a better world. And we can annoy the hell out of a lot of snowflakes, so there is that.

Now that the Resistance seems to have run out of steam and Trump needs to get the Congress in gear on healthcare and tax cuts, it seems to me the time has come to think about firing the Special Counsel Mueller. The reason for this is the fact that he is assembling a republican killing machine. And once it’s been assembled it’s inevitably going to get to work killing republicans. Now, democrats and timid republicans are going to say you can’t fire a special counsel. But, which is more dangerous and destructive, firing him or keeping him? Unless Mueller is actually secretly a friend of Trump’s I don’t see his present actions (hiring Clinton operatives) as anything but inimical to Trump’s administration. And with respect to timing, getting negative press now is much better than getting bad press in a year. We want the mid-term elections to occur when the biggest news stories will be successful republican initiatives (e.g., tax breaks showing up in refund checks and healthcare reform becoming lowered healthcare premiums). So to my mind, the time to lance this boil is now. After all, firing Comey was actually a non-event after all was said and done. Firing Mueller will be basically the same thing. And the fact that Trump hasn’t done it yet may just mean he’s taking a wait and see attitude. That is to my mind a mistake. If you wait until Mueller starts to leak damaging results to the press means people will be reminded of all the nonsense the press dredged up in the first half of the year. And that will scare the cowardly republican congress and that will delay the agenda. Obviously that’s a self-defeating strategy. Lance the boil now, not when it’s too late.

It’s hard to believe that the witless leftists that depend on safe space and intersectional double talk could have any relation to Orwell’s 1984 but once the first and second amendments are gone the knives would immediately come out. It’s nice to see someone who can discuss Huxley and Orwell in relation to the world we live in.

There’s not much left on TV for me to watch anymore. I remembered hearing over the last few years from several reviewers who were not progressives that “Justified” was pretty good. Well, last week my Netflix queue was completely empty so I added season one of Justified to my queue. With some trepidation, photog and camera-girl settled in this week and watched the first two disks. And eight or nine episodes into the season we still haven’t seen a bad show. It’s actually very good. Timothy Olyphant is the protagonist playing a US Marshall named Raylan Givens. He’s been sent back to his home state of Kentucky after shooting a drug lord in Miami under questionable circumstances. This puts him in contact with his family, friends, associates and enemies. And the amount of overlap between all of these categories in the episodes I’ve seen is quite remarkable. And here we run into the expected stereotyping of the Appalachians. For instance, Ray’s father is married to Aunt Helen. I’m not far enough into the story yet but it appears she was Aunt Helen before she was married to Ray’s father Arlo. So, the incest and inbreeding jokes can’t be far off. Also, one of Ray’s old friends from his time as a coal miner is now a bank robber who dabbles in white supremacy and shoulder launched rockets.

Needless to say, Ray’s personal and professional lives become extremely entangled and pretty early on he finds himself sleeping with a woman he shouldn’t be. He had been investigating her for shooting and killing her husband. Subsequently she is his witness in his shooting of her brother in law. Add into the mix that the brother in law is also that coal miner / bank robber friend of Ray’s and it starts getting extremely complicated and confusing. Also, Ray’s father is a criminal. Ray’s ex-wife is married to a man in hock to mobsters and Ray’s boss is starting to think he’s unstable. Oh, and the investigation into that drug lord he shot is getting complicated by all the other guys Ray’s been shooting since he got to Kentucky. And finally, the drug lord’s friends really, really want Ray dead. It’s a really fun show.

I’m only about half way through season one and so it’s hard to say where this will all be by season six but so far this is a crime drama that’s well written, filled with action and includes characters that while far from unconflicted are quite sympathetic for the audience. Timothy Olyphant is the obvious star but the supporting cast is quite strong and fun to watch and listen to. I especially enjoy Nick Searcy as Ray’s boss, Art Mullen. He brings a dry wit and long suffering attitude to the job of overseeing Ray’s overcomplicated work-life balance.

So, that’s my first installment. I will be watching a bunch more of these in the next few weeks and will give an update on my recommendation. But so far, I’d have to say watching Justified is definitely justified.