Figuring out faith, marriage, motherhood, and ministry one step at a time

Keeping Up is Hard

The blog is always on my heart and I am constantly feeling like God is giving me stories or moments to capture here but I have been so tired and unmotivated to keep up. This season at home is really tough. Ever since we potty trained our daughter earlier this year sleeping has not been the same. Crib-life meant she stayed put until we were ready to get her. Toddler bed-life has flung open the door to a whole new ‘three-year-old freedom’ that I’m just not digging right now.

12am greetings. 2am hello’s. 4am….. you get the picture. Rory and I are so so tired.

Exhaustion has a way of forcing you to sit down & rest. Let me tell you, or maybe you already know… get a few nights of terrible sleep in a row and you feel like you’re slowly dying. Do this for 8 months straight and my brain is deteriorating. Is it possible that a three and one year old are conspiring against mom and dad? Okay, pity party is over…

The heart work that happens during difficult moments is humbling. Lately, it has been hard to find the motivation to do anything to better my family or myself. For example, parenting well, clean eating, working out, finding healthy rhythms, maintaining relationships, etc.. Keeping up is hard when you’re tired! But God is still faithful…

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

In a season where I’m defeated by the lack of rest, God has used it to whisper straight to my heart. He enters the difficult seasons with us and begins the refining process.

When I can’t, He can. When I’m tired, His strength overflows. When I’m insecure, He reminds me that He approves. When I just can’t keep up, God reminds me that He’s here to help. I’ve gained a whole new understanding of His grace in 2019.

Don’t get me wrong, we have had an incredible year filled with many awesome memories but it definitely has had it’s fair share of difficulties. And I wouldn’t change a thing! (Except maybe just one more hour of sleep. 😴 )

Through the many sleepless nights and frustrating circumstances, I am witnessing HIS perfect grace take over. It’s weird to say, but I’ve realized it’s a rather sweet place to be…. in a spot where I recognize that I NEED God rather than being a self-sufficient super hero. Growth happens there and I never want to stop growing.