Category: Prayer

Usually, my dreams are unremarkable. Sometimes they are memorable in their strangeness or recurring themes.

Last night was different. It was a very clear message, with Hekate (the Goddess that I work with) showing me exactly where She wants my shrine to her to be. This is remarkable because I need to have it set up before tomorrow night in order for me to perform the Rite of the Devotee for membership in the Covenant of Hekate on the next Full Moon.

In the dream, I was clearing off a shelf next to my desk, where I currently have a Buddha tea-light holder and some educational materials.I had removed everything from the shelf and was wiping the accumulated dust (we life in an old, wood-floor house with no filter in the furnace) and assembling various altar decorations. When I got out of bed and went to my desk downstairs, I was confused to see that the location had not been cleared. My wife said that it was “obviously a hint” to which I replied, “No kidding! At least I know which one She wants!”

So, before I leave for work today, I’m cleaning off the space. And I discovered that She doesn’t want me wearing one of my pieces of everyday jewelry while I’m at the altar/shrine. Ans she wants me to move my Tibetan Buddhist prayer flags, too.

We will see if She continues or increases the direct communication. I would not object to it, I think, as long as it’s not all day, every day.

A few years ago, I somehow stumbled across the Covenant of Hekate and devoured their public website. I joined their public Facebook group, too, in an effort to learn more about how they viewed things.

What I learned about them was that, as opposed to my usual inclination, I wanted to take an active part and become a full fledged member. This makes a total of 2 Pagan organizations that I have wanted to join. More after the jump

I’ve been sitting with this sort of thing myself recently. I am a Buddhist Druid, married to a Hellenic devotional polytheist (DP) of Poseidon, we are living with a (Heathen? Hellen? Not sure at the moment) DP of Loki (and others), who is dating a Heathen DP of Freya, who is also good friends with my wife. I tell my wife that it can get a little lonely, not being part of “the club” that they all seem to be involved in.

I’m about 10-years further than Nimue is, but seemingly in the same place. I was spiritually devout in my 20s, lost it in my 30s (along with my mental health. Diagnosed major depression, anxiety, and OCD) , and in my 40s I’m trying to regain some sense of spirit in myself. I very much enjoyed “When a Pagan Prays” and am grateful that Nimue wrote it, and especially HOW she wrote it, with so much raw openness. I saw much of my own doubts there.

I’m not sure if I can call myself a polytheist, but Kristen calls me more than an animist. I’m certain that I’m not a Devotional, though. I feel no pull to dedicate myself to any gods even though I currently feel an affinity for Hecate and Hades, and choose to recognize them in my own way, along with my Buddhist faith.

But, like Nimue says, I feel no pull, hear no call, and some days wish I did, because it would be no small relief and validation. Instead, I muddle along and try to be OK with what is, as it is. “Non-attachment” the Buddhists say, is the way to remove dukkah. I’m still attached.