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Kristen Stewart turns 23 today! We’re sure that she’s going to get cards from everyone! (Well, probably not from the wife of the guy she cheated with…but you know what we mean.) Still, in the spirit of this oh-so-special day, we’re delighted to offer:

Take a look at our fang-tastic new cover! Access Hollywood debuted it this past Tuesday, and we're pleased to present it here on The Idiotical in all its slightly-higher-resolution glory. As you can tell by Edward and Bella's mopey mugs, we're finally sinking our teeth into The Twilight Saga with a huge parody of all five movies!

Yesterday, Twilight star and professional pouter Kristen Stewart admitted to a fling with herSnow White and the Huntsman director,Rupert Sanders. Her on- and off-screen beau, Robert Pattinson, was crushed by this news, as was Stewart’s legion of pre-teen fans who finally got a glimpse at a harsh reality of love that vampire books can never fully illustrate.

We've got a "Tuesday Tease" for you: Rick Tulka's fantastic illustration for "Kristen Stewart Celebrity Cause-of-Death
Betting Odds" from our upcoming issue! You can see lots more of Rick's work at his site, ricktulka.com.
Be sure to pick up MAD #514, on sale February 21, to find out the various ways Bella might meet her final fate.
Better yet, never miss another issue: subscribe to MAD!