Archive for the 'accessories' Category

Being someone with skin so white it’s tranluscent, I am loathe to go outside in the summer and subject it to the sun’s rays. Other people tan, I just burn and turn white again. I can get a wicked sunburn just by thinking about sunshine.

My sewing machine is a beast. No, truly, it is. It’s an industrial needle-feed sewing machine, which means it’s approximately the size, weight, and temperment of a menstruating elephant on caffiene pills.

I love her like no other.

That said, when I bought her, the repair guy I purchased her from gave me an item of advice that started thusly:

“WHEN you sew over your finger and GET THE NEEDLE IMBEDDED THROUGH THE BONE, stay calm and turn the wheel. Don’t pull!”

and ended with:

“and then get the the hospital. They might be able to save the finger if it hasn’t been crushed”

This kind of thing might turn some people off of using an item of machinery that CAN SEW THROUGH BONE, but it only made me love her more. It also made me super wary of her finger-eating power, so I’ve only had a few close calls and no finger loss (yet).

However, I am still a clumsy clumsy dumbass, so don’t be surprised if I end up in this situation:

Pugs are my happy place. They snort, they snuff, they wear cute little costumes while cavorting in meadows and generally being adorable.

And yet, there is this photo. It should be pure win-sauce. I mean, it’s a pug, dressed as a unicorn. In a pumpkin patch. Sounds like win to me! And yet…. it kinda confuses me. What is this? I don’t even….

So weird pug photo, I salute you. You are the first result in google images when I search “Pug in Costume”, which means I see you on an almost daily basis. No lie.

As a side note, while you can make this with peanut butter, the true ants-on-a-log aficionado knows that it’s best with cheesy cheese spread (we use C’est Fromidable! but you may prefer another brand). Just like everything else in this world, it’s better with cheese!