Your Veyron Is Slow!

So for the precious few of you that were silly enough to drop the $1.1 million on the first generation of Veyron back in 2005, boy you must feel pretty stupid right about now. You must have thought that with 1,001 horsepower coming out of your quad-turbo W16 engine, you were nearly invincible right? And you probably also figured that your car's 253 mph top speed, which was the world record for a production car, was going to stand the test of time, didn't you? Or maybe you thought that with a 0-62 mph time of 2.46 seconds, you were king of world forever, right? Wrong.

Just a few years later, it turns out that Bugatti has decided to put their original Veyron to shame. While, the Veyron 16.4 Super Sport a few years ago upped the ante a bit, the newest iteration of the baddest production car on Earth just got exponentially nastier. Dubbed in what we wholeheartedly believe to be the epitome of redundancy, the newest Bugatti will be named the Super Veyron.

Designed as a somewhat paradoxical proactive reaction to the next Ferrari supercar, Bugatti decided not to pull any punches and keep the Prancing horse firmly in their rearview mirror, no matter what Maranello brings to the table (or racetrack). The Super Veyron or "UltraBug" as it has also been nicknamed takes your paltry garden variety Veyron and turns the performance levels up several notches. Bugatti took the already scary, powerful W16 and somehow managed to crank up the volume by 60%. That's right, the Super Veyron's monster motor is set to make 1600 horsepower. That level of power almost begs the automotive world to create a new power-tier level in our collective vernacular -- in the same vein as 1000 gigabytes equals one terabyte in computer speak, we made need to decide on just what 1000 horsepower equals if there are going to be more of these bad boys on the horizon. Rocketpower? Stallionpower? Secretariatpower? Superpower? We'll figure it out eventually.

Whatever we end up calling the amount of power this car makes, it is still scary fast by any name. It seems that Bugatti was not just satisfied with upping the engine production; they also made improvements on the car's biggest flaw -- its massive weight. Through even more extensive use of carbon fiber, Bugatti engineers managed to trim some 550 pounds off the Super Veyron, which brings curb weight down to right around 3600 pounds. And while it does take a few automotive geniuses to make a car like the Veyron, it does not take a genius to figure out that with 1600 horsepower, and a much lower curb weight, this Veyron is going to define the phrase, "stupid fast". 0-62 mph is rumored to take a scant 1.8 seconds, and thanks to additional aerodynamic improvements top speed is also raised to a mind-blowing 286 mph. Those two performance numbers put the words "Veyron" and "fastest" back together once again.

Now, while you original owners may be feeling pretty cheated having spent a cool $1.1 million on your first gen-Veyron, all hope is not lost. You can take solace in the fact that although the Super Veyron does make 60% more power than your car, and is 13% faster on the top end and 30% quicker to 62 mph, the Super Veyron costs 220% more than your car -- listing for a whopping $2.5 million. So, what you can take away from all of this is that the owner of the Super Veyron does possess a faster car, but for double the price, he did not get double the car -- even if your car is slow by comparison.