Learn about the 2011 Philadelphia Phillies!

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After intense negotiations, Justin from the That Ball’s Outta Here blog were able to come to an agreement to trade quick-fire questions about each other’s favorite ballclubs. There were players to be named later and undisclosed sums of cash involved. Don’t worry about that, just prepare to read about the Phillies…

PH8: The Phillies have their own high-priced first baseman in Ryan Howard, on a contract that many think is going to turn sour before its end. When does the Howard contract go south for Philly, and is it really even useful as a comp for Albert Pujols’ upcoming contract?

TBOH: It’ll be hard to tell when Ryan starts souring because some of his K’s are so ridiculous right now that they’ve convinced some witnesses that there is no god. I don’t think we’re in danger of a permanent downfall at the moment, but give a year or two. Pujols lives on a different plane than any other ball player, regardless of position. He’s just in another dimension. All you can draw from Ryan’s contract in comparison to Pujols’ is that Pujols’ will be higher. By a bunch.

PH8: Could the Phillies win the National League with YOU as their fifth starter? I mean, couldn’t be much worse than the other guys the Phils have trotted out after the ridiculous other four this season.

TBOH: “Dad?” I asked.

“Yes, son?” he responded.

“Do you think I could grow up to play professional baseball?”

“Justin, we’re sitting here keeping your head elevated because you threw one pitch out there–over the backstop, I might add–and inexplicably got a horrendous nose bleed. Then you threw up three times on your way back to the dugout from all the excitement. Then you demanded that your performance warranted a stop for ice cream on the ride home. Nobody from your team wants to look over here because they’re all too embarrassed for you.”

“B… but do you think I could do it?”

Dad sighed.

“…Sure, son. Follow your dreams.”

So to answer your question, yes.

PH8: Since you asked me about J.C. Romero, I’ll ask you about J.C. Romero. So he’s not cutting it for the Phillies anymore, but certainly he can’t be any worse than Trever Miller or Brian Tallet, right? I seem to remember a time that Romero was a pretty good LOOGY – has he gone downhill after the substance suspension?

TBOH: He’s gone downhill pretty steadily for a while now–last year was the first time I remember consistently dreading his appearances. He was spectacular in 2008, but that’s far away enough now that it doesn’t get you a free pass. You know if Brad Lidge isn’t getting one for ’08, nobody is.

PH8: Charlie Manuel is closing in on being the longest-tenured manager in Phillies history – how will he be remembered in Philly when he decides to retire?

TBOH: Charlie will be enshrined as the winningest, most beloved manager in the team’s history. But its not just about his success, its everything from his personality to his speech patterns. The other day he said on TV that “lackity lack” means “take it easy” in Japanese. I have no idea how correct that is, but if somebody who hadn’t played baseball in Japan for most of their career said it, I would tell them to shut up and go away.

PH8: Odds on an Oswalt extension with the Phillies?

TBOH: Getting odder by the day. Dude is hurting, and dropping, and while I still have plenty of faith in him, he’s said very clearly that he could walk away from baseball forever with no regrets at any time. So anyone who wants Oswalt to stick around is kind of living day-to-day in a state of mortal terror.

TBOH: I’ve been campaigning to have them play that part from Titanic on the big screen whenever Bastardo comes into a game where that guy gets shot by the crewman and the Hispanic guy looks up and yells “bastardo!” So far nobody else thinks its a good idea but that’s mostly because I’ve only campaigned alone in my basement.

Thanks Justin, for taking the time out to answer these completely random questions about the Phillies!

Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.