Tag Archives: Foreign Bride Guide

Many men from across the world seek a Russian speaking wife. That might be a woman from Ukraine, Russia or more recently Kazakhstan or Belarus.

But are you the kind of guy a Russian speaking woman wants? Check out the light hearted list below.

I have noticed specific trends of opinion with Russian speaking women about foreign guys and their locations.

American men: They either love the idea of them (and the USA) or hate it. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground. Some women love the thought of an American guy and living in the US; some think them stupid, with no history, culture or social skills. Many women complain of unrealistic expectations because men have read mail-order bride sites and expect that every twenty year old Slavic woman will be falling all over an old guy from Kansas. In the real world, with honest women, that doesn’t happen. Many Americans are ‘Keyboard Romeos’ who never book a flight and just want to talk – that pisses women off. Many FSU women who went abroad to be married went to the US though (4000 a year last time I looked), and many remain happy there – so that speaks for itself.

Canadian men: Who? Aren’t they American? Isn’t Canada a state or something? Canada is often seen as part of the US, even though it isn’t. Canadian guys have to get past that. Mention the Queen is my tip. Winters are as cold as Siberia, so no climate attraction. Be a nice guy, make it clear you are not American and maybe they will look you up on Wikipedia.

British men: These women (and many of their country folk) love the UK, London particularly. They call it Londongrad for a reason. However, we are sometimes thought to be unemotional and a bit cold. We call it ‘stiff upper lip’. For the women who don’t like southern Europeans, and who don’t like Americans, the UK is where it is at. We don’t carry the left-over Cold War stigma of Americans, we are closer to the FSU (cheaper to visit Mamma) and are often considered to be gentlemen. We have history, culture and because we are not American, the family approves.

Dutch men: On a par with Brits really in many ways. Often big, tall healthy guys with a decent outlook on life. Many who seek Russian speaking women are computer geeks or gamers who tend to be also quite right wing. Right wing appeals to many of these women. They are seen as good husband and father material.

Australian/NZ men: The bottom of the planet is very far away. Not for women with close family ties who want to visit home often. They are viewed as nice guys and their climate is on their side. For women who like a nice relaxed lifestyle, and who don’t want to visit home too often, and who like sun and not snow, Oz is a perfect choice.

Scandinavian men: They offer a great lifestyle, but it is still cold in winter and full of snow. Might as well be in Russia. Big, healthy, tall guys, many of whom like the gym, appeal to some. Slightly square, drink too much (especially Finns), but overall good guys is what I learned from women.

German/Austrian/Swiss men: As with Scandinavia, they offer a great lifestyle. But winter is cold, and the men are slightly square and unemotional. Way too much funny stuff in cellars going on. A society with many rules (more than the US even). Can be rather sexually perverted given a chance.

Belgian men: Cant decide if they want to speak Dutch, Flemish or French. So indecisive. The women we know who live in Belgium are unhappy. A small place with no identity. Way too many French Fries, Mayonnaise and moustaches.

French men: They imagine France to be romantic, France has many cultural ties with Russia – reality often disappoints. France is over-priced, dirty, the people arrogant, and too many immigrants.

Spanish and Greek men: No money, over-emotional and highly strung. OK for a holiday romance. Not ideal husbands.

Italian men: Like Greek and Spanish, highly strung, can be quite demanding, serially unfaithful, not good fathers and husbands after the novelty has worn off. OK for a holiday romance. However, find a good guy and all is well.

Turks and Arabs: OK for a holiday romance but you wont admit it to your friends. Often violent, Muslim culture incompatible, will hump a hole in a tree given a chance – any hole is a goal! Not husband/father material.

Africans: That isn’t really happening unless a “see what is like” casual hump that is kept pretty secret. Many Russian, American and European guys will eschew women they know slept with an African or other non white. Many guys who enter this endeavour are very right wing. Continue reading →

The so-called “mail order bride” industry, which primarily is focused on Ukraine, and secondly Russia, has been changing in recent years. The days of American guys rolling up in any Russian or Ukrainian city, flashing a US passport and being swamped in model-quality girls are long gone. This is 2011, not 1991. Women are not desperate to leave any more.

Men seeking a Russian or Ukrainian wife need to understand the dynamics of the society they delve into. Men fixated on the idea of importing a model-quality wife, twenty-five years younger than themselves are likely heading for disappointment. It has passed into internet folklore the “fact” that any obese, older guy can snag himself a super sexy Eastern European wife with little more to offer than his country of residency and his wallet. He can still do that as long as he accepts that the marriage will likely not last longer than the time it takes her to get a green card or permanent residency in his country.

The sensible guys nowadays need to accept their limitations. This does not mean that a guy cannot delve into Eastern Europe, if he knows what he is doing, and end up with a well-intentioned and beautiful wife. He can. But occasionally, reality checks are in order.

I was recently communicating with a British man who had made over thirty trips to Ukraine in search of a wife. After several years, and all these trips to Ukraine, he is still wifeless. No good prospects on the cards either. In these circumstances, we must examine not only him, but what he is looking for, and ascertain if it is realistic.

The gentleman in question is in his fifties, and has one or more ex-wives in the UK. He has a number of children; some of whom are either resident with, or spend significant time with him. One of these children has some type of special needs requirement. He is a nice guy; intelligent, witty and personable from what I can make out. He is affluent enough to afford the whole foreign wife endeavour (which many men are not).

What is he seeking? A large breasted, yet extremely slim and very beautiful woman in her twenties; that is twenty to thirty years his junior. Is that realistic? No. Here was my advice to him:

Your situation isn’t what local women seek to embrace; they already eschewed it. Why would a two decade younger, beautiful one, with a large chest from a poor country embrace it? Times are a changing. Desperation is fading. Your lack of success is testament to that. A reality check is needed. Late 30’s and early 40’s is the group you should be looking in. Perhaps with a kid or two.

My advice was not well received.

What many men in a similar position fail to realise is that desperation in these countries is fading. Finances are improving and women are less likely to choose self-export via marriage as a life choice as that happens. This is underlined by the fact that the “mail order bride” industry pretty much doesn’t exist any more in the affluent corners of the former Soviet Union (FSU) and proliferates in the more impecunious corners. Scamming also proliferates in the impecunious corners as desperation breeds corruption and dishonesty.

As proof of this, if we look at some FSU countries, we will see that the “mail order bride” industry has vanished altogether. In relatively affluent Estonia, Latvia and the Czech Republic, women are not seeking self-export via marriage as a life choice. There is not a single foreign-facing marriage/dating agency in Estonia any more. There hasn’t been for a decade or more.

Compare that to Ukraine. Ukraine is still bristling with foreign-facing dating and marriage agencies; new ones are opening every day (the honesty of many of these is open to question but that is not the subject here). Russia still has many agencies based there, but fewer in the more affluent corners like Moscow and Saint Petersburg. In Russia, the agencies reside in places that fewer foreigners venture to. Places like Rostov, Samara, Togliatti (Tolyatti), Vladivostok and Barnaul.

The link between women’s desire to export themselves and average income is an undeniable fact.

On the other side of the coin, I was recently communicating with an American man who also complained about his lack of success in the Eastern European dating arena. He told me:

I am good looking, healthy and relatively young. I have a good job and make good money. I know how to treat women very well. I am enjoyable to be with. I am interested in starting a family and having children.

Most women on learning this will think, “What’s wrong with him then?” and will muse on why he can’t find a woman at home. They simply will not believe the accounts given by Americans of the bad dating environment in the US; the “entitlement” attitude they encounter, and the subsequent lack of availability of appropriate and slim women.

His “benefits” of being young, in good shape and of a normal state of mind may actually work against him in some circumstances. I would be inclined to explain to the women I wrote, in a very careful manner, why I was seeking a woman from abroad if in his shoes (without disrespecting my local women). Its like sales training for those that ever had it; overcome the customer’s objections before they are even raised. Marketing oneself long-distance to women is a skill that takes honing and development.

The introduction letter is a vital tool; a first impression that cannot be left to chance. One must hire a competent Russian interpreter and translator to help craft and hone your introduction letter. Preferably a female one, as women understand the target market: Women.

Understanding the society you are delving in is also essential. You cannot rely on the twaddle written on dating sites. Russian dating sites are geared up toward telling you what you want to hear. They will wax lyrical about how these ladies “love to make cosy home” and “love to cook tasty meals” – which may be true sometimes. But not all the time. You will find the same guff written on the profile of many “professional daters” (scammers to you), often from Odessa or Kiev, who entertain a different foreign guy each weekend, and have a Prada and D&G fetish. Preferably at your expense.

To get to the real facts about a Russian or Ukrainian wife, and how, in 2011/12, you can find one, you need to educate yourself. This means learning from those who have spent much time in the former Soviet Union; and who are in a cross cultural marriage already.

The road to a beautiful Russian or Ukrainian wife is still possible to travel; but you must enter the arena educated and with a good idea in advance of what is possible and what is not.

The “mail order bride” industry is changing. Marriage agencies are not the future. As Russian and Ukrainian women embrace the internet at home, social networks are the way forward. Sites like Planet Love Match have recognised this already and are responding to the changing environment. Mix the dating site together with a social networking site, in both languages – brilliant but simple.

Foreign dating is changing. Get ahead of the curve by educating yourself.

Stuart J. Smith is the co-author of the Russian Bride Guide: How to meet, court and marry a woman from the former Soviet Union. He has guested on many radio shows on the “mail order bride” subject. He runs the busiest Russian women information discussion forum on the internet today. Continue reading →