Friday, June 30, 2006

tonight watch a taiwan show called " tao se dan bai zhi"... hmm the theme is abit sensitive to me...but i am interested...is about being late...my bad habit... yea being punctual acutally is quite important...if one always being late...he/she may lost the trust from his/her friends... oh no...no one likes to wait...and no one likes the people who being late...it reflects a person's sense of responsibility and others... hmmm...guitly to be late but got this bad habit...oh no...to become a more responsible person...i shall not be late!!! arhhh...

Monday, June 26, 2006

today is really monday blues. serious. like so long didn't have this feeling already. i am panic because of ica marks?! biz com...no jokes...no exam...didn't do well then no chances already...arhh...if u want to furthur ur study...every sem's gpa is counted for poly...really panic...worried...still like so slacking...anxious. and miss the holiday also...wonder when can see them...guess not so soon...hmmm heart is dead over some things...haix. blues...really blues.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

sometimes i have choice. but i realise...sometimes...i just don't have the choice.mum and i got this decision. no matter what i need to work here for at least 2 years due to the contract with school...so no choice. work b4 continue my further study. i accept it. and i work for it. i will not give up the hope to go aus. i got no choice anyway.finally told mum that i m giving tuition. she just accepted it naturally...haha so now no more secrets. she's still as open minded.glad. she's the best.also...told her some of my feelings...about the dark side i saw in the society. she said maybe we need to accept and adapt it. 适者生存. and some pple just like to be bossy around.i asked:" so must i also have to become this kind of people then can live?" can't rmb what she answered,but if i have to become like that, i will never like myself. think about it.so sick.altough i've been working there for like 1 and a half year. but i am glad that i nv talk to them with a bossy tone and order pple here and there...pple got eyes,pple can see...and i won't pick on them after the mistakes have been made. especially when it's just careless mistake.for what sia~add more fuss izit?sometimes i wonder if this is good? coz if u don't bossy ard...in other words...means pple will bossy u ard.OPEN UR EYES. SEE CLEARLY B4 U SCOLD.i won't chit chat when is busy...or maybe i wiping things during chit chat...can u see?if i see sth haven't been clear up...u tink i will act like didn't see? so if i didn't see it...and i see another customer standing outside need my help, u scold for what? now so many "supervisors" in rt sia...everyone like to order pple...like to bossy ard. well...i try not to bother already but don't cross the line. to protect urself,okay,so work is work,don't ever joke.maybe u've changed. but i won't deny if i've changed. things happened to me recently force me to have some diff views. kind of lost also.but what to do. haix...sometimes, somethings i guess i still have the choice...but now school reopen again...i don't have the time to look ard yet.once i found. then i guess i will say bye to the place. ya... bu she de, but i know is not the same anymore.the joy is gone.there's no right or wrong. coz pple usually think themselves are the right one. maybe it apply to myself as well.so no pt to argue.cut hair with anna later.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

all these happen too sudden...just like a dream...or nightmare? long and shocking day.

friday. had some shopping and saw JJ lim at heeren...quite happy...then explore some places in orchard...watch the movie "she's the man"...quite enjoyable. soccer...italy and brazil jiayou~the night is always attractive yet dangerous...

accidentally...or should say only me is the last to know that we've inside orchard tower...a scary place...shiver...

skip those. here comes the main part. we met car accident...the shockest moment in my life.

2 taxi and 1 car bang together and we were inside one of the taxi...i scream.things comes so sudden that we don't even know what had happened...just knew that all the taxis and cars are disfigure and i MUST THANK GOD THAT WE ONLY HAD MINOR INJURIES...omg i can't imaging that we'll be the victims of the car accident...that's scary! policemen all those came right after that... coz heard that there were some fighting nearby so they already there...i only feel giddy at the moment and meh appears to be calm.but winnie said her head is pain...so she follow the ambulance and we take cab(no choice...impossible to walk there) to find her at general hospital...coz the ambulance not enuff space to let us in. she had her check up there and need to stay there for some hours...so when things seems to be settle down...me and meh went home first...all of us are too tired...when reached home...it's about 7am, saturday... what a long and sleepless night.horrible...

now i feel some pain...not sure but hope it's minor case...i can't believe that all this happen one by one...realise i didn't have a good health these days...fall down badly...flu and now car accident...what happen man...and i can't let mum know anything about it...omg GOD BLESS ME PLEASE! life is really unpredictable...health is really IMPORTANT!

don't know if i've cool down or not...but maybe will have a little phobia of taking cab and i should think about it...i think should not go home too late? i am abit frighten already...grandma said i always frightens her also...made her worry about my safty...i should think about it...

things are too sudden and i think i still need time to cool down...omg now i still feel blur blur...like still in a dream...coz everythings just too sudden...

and got my nafa student card...the card very thick...and the course starts on 30th june...need to manage my time for study work and this course...i feel so messy at the moment.hmm.

watch garfield next week...still haven't got a watch...hope can find a nice white or blue watch.white is always nice and comfortable for me.except white hair. arh i can't believe that the accident happened in the morning and i go to work at night...i want stay at home and rest...today's working like a shit for me...totally in an insecure state coz i am shivering still...and giddy...shit..tmr no replacement too...arh...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

today the agency called me again and gave me a student. live in toapayoh...a place that i feel comfortable...and is p6 maths...so i take it. though...pay is abit lower. so total teach two student for maths...i am gonna tell myself " i like maths" to motivate myself. must like the subject you teach then able to teach others well right? haha...okay but maths is one of my fav anyway... give both of them 2 lessons per week...need manage time well... tmr will be the first day for the p6 one...hope will be smooth... really hope to see my student improve...i feel the responsibility...maybe that's why i feel stress somehow...the stress maybe is given by myself...still not confident enough but i am trying my best... try to find back the old maths books but i realise maybe i've thrown them...hmmm... now caught in flu as well...weird weather...now shld be hot isn't it?why so cold instead hmmm... next week packed...tuesday to sunday all planned...awww...and Garfield2 will be out next week...but i think can only watch it week after next... also guess put real less schedule for ramenten bahx.. oh ya i think i saw kero,the ahem colinandkero blog that one...he came ramenten eat...he is our customer too lolx...they all said he looks really gay...but if the one we saw is really kero...i will doubt if he is really gay...work at rt will see different type of pple and customer...so...stay? lolx...also projects are:financebiz combiz environmentecpjand pray that i can go to business side...for the elective.------------------------------------------------------last friday saw king...pouring out some fan naos...and motivate each others to move on...no choice...that's life...but wonder how come everytime can't buy things at bugis...orchard is better for me...thurs met mehx...after some time...shop around at orchard...then go her fren house...a very big house...and there are 3 things really impress me...the 2 dogs,named ringo and shirley haha...big dogs, cute and nice to play with also =) then...his scv...got ALL the channels~i mean ALL sia...wow...lastly...there is a drumset in his toilet...ahha...too bad nx day financail tut at 8am...otherwise...i may follow them go MOS le...friday not a bad day as well...quite happy for the finance test mark...then at night...yea saw that kero i think so? but i wanna see colin instead...hehe...then after closing...yea...after some time since we last kbox le? go cine kbox...frm 12 till the nx morning 6am sth? first time sia...but all tired i guess...sing sleep sing sleep like that...but happy to go kbox again with them...ramen ten peeps...then sleep for few hours...went for tution today...back...and sleep for awhile...but still lacking of sleep... last min study make me lack of sleep...play too hard also make me lack of sleep...lolx but i have no complains...few years didn't wear watch already...now plan to get one...like swatch...colourful and funky...aiming for white or blue color one...save up?still never tell any of them about the tuition thing...just now wanna tell grandma but i still choose to keep it to myself...hmmm...but when she ask where am i going tmr...i don't know how to answer...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

today is a rushing day for me.rush to bank...then rush to school pay school fee cos today due liaox...then i missed my busstop AGAIN...then rush to ramen ten...then rush eating and put up all the working stuff...maybe tooooo rush liaox...till i vomit in the end lolx...plus that thing first day ahem...in the end i 8 plus punch out..suppose to end at 9pm...and this month i target to work for 40hrs...but now i think i short by 10 mins like that? well....speechless...then i really realise how important health is. without a good health...hard to do things well...don't have that energy...hmm....feel abit weak...all the injuries havent fully recover...which also means energy level still low...a swollen face makes me so down already...let alone an obvious scar...arh...this still keep hurting me...because i still wonder if mum is fully recover mentally...i scare that from outside she acts ok...but behind...and even though like that...she still must go to work...and yet she still keep asking me to work lesser or if feel not happy...can just don't work...she rather me learn more stuff than work...she rather give me more money if i not enough to spend...and i think she scare i can't take the pressure from giving tution...she quite insist to stop me from doing that...yet i still try it...but...i really wish to have a try...and i got the interest to teach maths and chinese...sorry mum... but then again... MUM IS REALLY GREAT...THEY CAN DO ANYTHING FOR THEIR CHILD...they rather work harder to let their child enjoy more...really wish that in the future...i am able to let her have an enjoyable life.work for it!hmmm maybe i've change without knowing it...and maybe is not a good one...but is okay...gonna be fine...make it simpler.believe in it. hmm about ramen ten...think the business is getting better and better...expand liaox...heard got a big outlet at causeway pt and a small one which named shin tokyo at parkway...also they hire lots new staffs...also base on what i feel today...now even amk become more strict liaox...today i anyhow wear the red polo also kana say liaox...alert...no more the old ramen ten liaox...now stronger power le...but weird feeling again...sumhow...still struggling...coz i realise that i like to interact with the customers...hmmm dat's one thing keeps me still working there...i like that...also plus got gan qing there...but some reasons make me really wanna stop working there...also...some friendly faces gone liaox...don't know...i think keep quiet during work is a beta way...later u joke or talk too much kana warn again...also if u give little schedule...they will ask you if u are so busy or say u got time to play no time work? well...that's my freedom right?and...full timer...yea i know means more responsibility...but remember...don't lose yourself.nervous...saturday my first time giving tuition...then nx week...3 tests.