Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)

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# 2

The number three cause of death in America is Diabetes.
Chuck Norris is numbers one and two.

4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (2097 votes)

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# 3

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (2252 votes)

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# 4

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

4.06 Roundhouse Kicks (1397 votes)

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# 5

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (1957 votes)

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# 6

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (1900 votes)

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# 7

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (3142 votes)

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# 8

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (2907 votes)

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# 9

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

3.82 Roundhouse Kicks (1132 votes)

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# 10

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

4.07 Roundhouse Kicks (1562 votes)

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# 11

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (1587 votes)

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# 12

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (920 votes)

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# 13

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1633 votes)

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# 14

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

3.5 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)

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# 15

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.