What the f*$# are you even thinking? No one wants you to “surprise” them. No one has been dying to see you. If anyone was interested in your presence they would have called you. Get off social media until you’ve learned about boundaries.

Stop it. Trying to find out about somebody based on their embarrassing profiles from 2004 is just desperate. It’s also going to be crazy awkward when you have to pretend that you didn’t know your new boyfriend used to love Jimmy Eat World.

If your still friends because you’ve always liked Mrs. Ex-Boyfriend’s-Mom then it’s okay. But if you’re still friends with her because you want to see what’s going on in your ex’s life then you’re an advantageous stalker and that’s one of the worst kinds of stalkers you can be.

8. Showing up at someone's work pretending you didn't know they worked there.

Jesus, have some dignity. It’s good to try new things after a breakup, but engaging in your ex’s hobby solely because it’s your ex’s hobby makes you look crazy desperate. You’ll end up shopping in the same yarn store on purpose and everyone will hate you.

10. Going through your friend's Facebook after they left it open on your computer.

Going through someone’s Facebook is stalker behavior. Making their status to something about poop, changing their profile picture to a hamster, and updating their birthday to today are all acceptable and would definitely be done to you if the tables were turned.