With Christmas looming I have been picking favourites from The Book People’s web site (www.thebookpeople.org). Looking over my shoulder, my 6 year old was snooping around for goodies from girls’ fiction. We amicably agreed on a number of items. Then came THE QUESTION:

“So”, she said, “does Father Christmas know these presents are from you?

“Sure.”

“How?”

“I wrote to him.”

“You wrote to him?”

“Yes, I wrote to him. By email”

She was silent for a bit. And then with a quieter voice: “Does Father Christmas have a Mac?”

“No. No he does not. He has a Toshiba”.

No offence Apple, but a yes didn’t fit with the golden rules of a Dialogue, Glorious Dialogue (made up for the occasion, of course):

Repetition of questions, implying doubt and subtle distrust

Repetition of replies, for comic effect

Repetition, generally due to one interlocutor resisting the attempts of the other to side-track the conversation

High pitch, low pitch fluidity: you can hear the voice go up and then down at each line

Sudden change in the flow and unexpected outcome of the dialogue.

A great example is the dialogue between brothers Benny and Bosse (The Hundred year old man who climbed out of the window and disappeared, Jonas Jonasson, Chapter 15) an extract of which I hope will make you buy the book, if you still haven’t, or read the passage again for a chuckle:

“Fifty million?”

“Fifty million. Minus various expenses – for this bus, among other things.”

“Why are you driving around in a bus?”

“We’ve got an elephant in the back.”

“An elephant?”

“She’s called Sonya.”

“An elephant?”

“Asiatic.”

“An elephant?”

“An elephant.”

Bosse was silent for a few moments. Then he said:

“Is the elephant stolen too?”

“No, you couldn’t say that.”

Bosse was silent again. Then he said:

“Grilled chicken with roast potatoes for supper. Would that be good?”

“I am sure it would,” said Benny.

“Does that include something to drink?” said an elderly voice from inside the bus.

But ending the dialogue blog here would not do justice to the multitude of variants on offer. Look out for my next posts: Dialogue, Elegant Dialogue (Alistair McCall-Smith), and of course Dialogue, Oh No Dialogue (a respectful stab at Mr Follett I am afraid), to redress the karma.

3 Responses to Dialogues, Glorious Dialogues

“Hallo” said Carrot uncertainly
“Oook” the librarian prodded the desk with a long, many jointed finger
“What?”
“Oook”
“Sorry?”
The Librarian rolled his eyes. It was strange, he felt, that so-called intelligent dogs, horses and dolphins never had any difficulty indicating to humans the vital news of the moment, e.g. that the three children were lost in a cave or the train was about to take the line leading to the bridge that had been washed away or similar, while he, only a handful of chromosomes away from wearing a vest, found it difficult to persuade the average human to come out in the rain. You just could’n talk to some people.
…
Someone hasn’t committed a crime, have they? said Carrot
“Oook”
“A bad crime?”
“Oook!”
“Like murder?”
“Eeek”
“Worse than murder?”
“Eeek!”