Labour lose pub quiz after failing to provide a single answer

The Labour Party have suffered a major defeat in the annual Westminster New Year's pub quiz. Following 12 rounds, each containing 10 questions, the pub quiz captain, Ed 'universally challenged' Miliband failed to provide a single answer.

Quiz Master, John Bercow told us the whole quiz was farcical. 'It started getting silly half way through when Miliband insisted he should ask at least six questions. After a long discussion, which was interrupted by Ed Balls doing his trademark 'flatline gesture' we agreed. However, it turns out he could only answer his own questions with a grin.'

The most embarrassing round was reported to be the one themed 'British Economy for the last ten years', which saw the whole team suffer from amnesia. Despite this, is was not a bad night for everyone. The landlord of the pub reported record profits when Gordon Brown was put in charge of the procurement of over-prices drinks.