Local man to sue Labour leader for “deformation of character”

Leeds labourer, Ed Miliband, is sick of the cruel jibes he receives for sharing a name with political lightweight, Ed Balls. He takes greater issue with Labour leader, Ed Miliband, as they share two – namely a fore and a surname.

“It’s gone beyond a joke now,” claims Mr Miliband (of Leeds) “his performances in parliament and his embarrassing photo-opportunities – not to mention his voice, dress-sense and face – sully the good name of Ed Miliband, which is why I've decided to sue.

“I run my own business, and work has slowed to a trickle over the last 12 months. No prizes for guessing why. He [Mr Miliband (Labour party leader)] claims that being the leader of the opposition is the hardest job in the world; well, I’d like to see how he handles my job. Especially when no-one wants to hire you because they think you’ll, probably, cock the country up and just make things worse”.