Of Course Teen Mom Leah Is Putting Her Toddlers In Beauty Pageants Now

Because her kids have already been on Teen Mom so there’s really no discernible future for them anyway, here’s Leah Messer (Who fortunately for all parties involved, if not the human gene pool in general, had a miscarriage by the way.) carting her twin daughters into the moralless crunking world of child beauty pageants yesterday. Although in her defense, she did feed them a cold, nutritious breakfast of Monster energy drink like proud a West Virginian. GO COOTERS!

On that note, I want to offer a sincere apology to Leah’s ex Corey Simms who back in April was made to look like he cheated on her before or after robbing their daughter’s medical fund to buy a truck thus causing their divorce. When in reality, Leah banged another a dudea week before their wedding and eventually came clean months later which was the real cause. So kudos to Corey for sitting on that information until the season aired and not even once stopping to think he should probably get a paternity test. You truly earned that huntin’ bow.

If you had to watch this stuff, read about this stuff, and then write about all of these stupid people in situations that make no sense, you might start hitting the sauce too. Think about the crap going on out there Fish doesn’t write about. (Where did the name “Fish” come from, anyway?)

Thank you for your application to appear on our hit show “Toddlers & Tiaras.” Unfortunately, our legal department informs us that you are still under contract to MTV’s “Teen Mom 2.” MTV Networks is owned by Viacom, Inc., whereas our channel, TLC, is owned by Discovery Communications, Inc.

I realize that you, like many other people, think the shows that come out of your television box are indistinguishable from one another. But in the real world, where people *don’t* fall ass-backwards into money for getting knocked up in high school,
there is such a thing as economic competition between businesses—in our case, rival television networks that compete to attract your attention. There is also such a thing as contracts with non-compete clauses.

If I may put it simply—since the attention you paid in sex ed class is probably indicative of the attention you gave your education as a whole—we can not hire a performer from another network to which you still have an obligation.

Best of luck to you, your twins, and your upcoming second marriage…at 19.

Isn’t this the one that had twins, and one of them is (shockingly) all messed up, medically speaking? Lucky for her one of the two wasn’t a factory reject. Until “Mommy’s Little Syndrome Baby” gets the go ahead on TLC, that is.

Depends. If you had a functioning brain and invested the money you made off of MTV, it might have worked out. However, in this case, you can be sure that by the time she’s 30 she’ll living in a shack in the Appalachians reinforcing every stereotype anyone’s ever had about the Appalachians.

My friend put her kids in this same pageant and her kids won queens in their division. Apparently they gave Leah’s kids some “consolation titles” so they looked semi-important for MTV like “prettiest smile” and “prettiest eyes”.

I can’t believe people are bashing the children, really? Grow up. It makes you as low as Leah, the mom wannabe. She doesn’t give a dern about those precious kids. All she cares about is fame and apparently she will gamble with her kids well-being to do it. I hope these girls turn out okay after being raised by her selfish self. Who the hel* gives their kids Monster energy for breakfast?! Is that even safe for toddlers to drink?!! I hope someone is checking up on these kids because she doesn’t seem to be providing a safe place for them. She has some guy (Jeremy) living with them? Geez girl, slow the he** down before you get your kids hurt…. hope she does everyone a favor and TRIES to care about her kids safety instead of her selfish “ambitions”.

I was in Walmart a cupole months back, and some lady over heard me talking to my cousin about paying 30 bucks for cellulite reducing cream. And she told me to take a hot bath once a week filled with 50 to 100 tea bags. (All natural) Caffeine in the tea tightens your skin. And reduces the bumpy look. I’ve done this evey week for 3 months and my cellulite is practically gone besides a few but its way better then before. After I take the hot bath I rub regular lotion on my thighs and legs and its been working pretty well. Plus the tea gives your skin a fake like tan but more of a bronze and it looks beautiful hope this helps!

The comment made by the author of this story about the miscarriage being “better for all parties involved if not the human gene pool in general”,was TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR AND ABSOLUTELY OUT OF LINE!!! That was just totally heartless and cold to say! I don’t care who a person is or what they’ve done they don’t deserve a miscarriage!! That was human life which is something apparently the author needs to learn more about!!!