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I was taking a shower this morning, like I sometimes do. {cough} As I was about to rinse out my hair, I realized that my shower comb was on the vanity. Any woman with more than 3 inches of hair knows that if you don’t want tangles, you need a shower comb! You just DO.

Instead of going through the hassle of turning off the water, patting dry and retrieving the comb, I slid the shower door open just enough to allow my teensy body through without getting water everywhere.

With one foot in the shower and the other on the rug, I reached out and grabbed the comb.

I guess I miscalculated my body mass, because on the way back the shower door somehow got lodged between my butt cheeks!!

I turned sharply right and then left. The glass door shook with a vengeance and sounded as if it was about to shatter, but remained wedged in place.

Get out of there, door!

{Images of glass shards in my vulnerable bits; paramedics making a daring, yet awkward, rescue; a medical team harassing me with embarrassing questions}

I had met up with my friend, Lanie, for dinner and drinks. We had been discussing our lives, our hopes, our dreams {insert girlish sighing}, etc. when Lanie suggested we visit a psychic.

After the first round of drinks, the idea of visiting a psychic was funny. After the second round of drinks, it seemed legit. After the fifth round of drinks {don’t judge us!} it seemed like THE MOST FANTASTIC IDEA OF ALL TIME!

I could’ve sworn someone told me of a psychic that operated out of an old house a few blocks up the street from our restaurant. It must be kismet! We stumbled our way up Main Street until I saw a house that looked “psychic-y”.

Me: “THIS is it!” {Strolling confidently toward front door}

Lanie: {Strolling slightly less confidently} “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssss” {(eye roll) Begin to open door}

Lanie: “WAIT! Shouldn’t we knock first?”

Me: “NO! It’s a business! Since when do you knock on a shop door? Come on, will you! I need to get my tarot on!” {Stumble ever so slightly on first porch step; catch myself; hear Lanie make an uncertain noise}

{I open front door and see a large group of men. Suddenly, a collie puppy comes running up to me, tail wagging}