As we go through life, we like to think that the people we encounter are more-or-less like us: kind, caring, reasonable and decent. It’s hard to imagine that there might be someone in our circle of acquaintances who might have Antisocial Personality Disorder. Unfortunately, antisocial individuals live and work among us. Being unaware of their presence and how they operate puts us at a great disadvantage. Also known as sociopaths, these people are the ultimate predators; exploiting and abusing the weak, the innocent and the ignorant. The better we understand them, the safer we’ll be. What, exactly, is a sociopath? It’s someone who, for reasons not well understood, lacks all empathy or basic human kindness. They see others merely as objects for their use and have no qualms about manipulating or exploiting anyone or any situation to their best advantage. A sociopath’s brain is wired very differently than a normal person’s, and we should never assume that we’re playing by the same set of rules. We must understand that sociopaths have their own, unique way of operating A sociopath isn’t immoral so much as amoral. The notion of right or wrong is irrelevant to them. Their raison d’etre is to get what they want. They may prey on an individual, a family, an institution or even a whole country, depending on their level of power and influence. They have no conscience and feel no remorse when they’ve done something wrong. They feel justified in every aspect of their behavior; often blaming their victim and believing that “they had it coming” or that “they brought it on themselves.”On the other hand, the sociopath feels like the wronged party whenever they haven’t prevailed. They can be paranoid, assuming that others are out to get them or are trying to take something away from them. They are vengeful and will exact severe retribution if they feel thwarted or attacked. A sociopath will rarely take “No” for an answer. They are relentless in the pursuit of their goals. They become enraged when frustrated and will behave punitively toward anyone who they believe has gotten in their way. This type of person can be highly impulsive and unconstrained by the usual human self-preservation instincts. If we expect that they won’t do something because it’s risky or foolhardy, we’ll be wrong. There’s very little to stop them from putting themselves in harm’s way in the pursuit of their goals. The sociopath in our midst can be the charming con-artist; the married celebrity with a pristine public persona but multiple secret mistresses; the ultra-charismatic, corrupt politician or the evangelical minister with an enormous, generous congregation. A sociopath strongly craves a position of power, and will frequently seek out jobs where they can dominate, control or oppress others. Lawyers, police officers, doctors, teachers, coaches, clergy, therapists, CEOs and politicians will always have a certain number of sociopaths in their ranks. In their roles as leaders of industry and society, sociopaths can do a lot of harm. Examples of this are big corporate polluters, CFOs who steal millions from their share-holders; police officers who abuse the citizens they’re honor-bound to protect; and coaches who take advantage of their young charges.Other examples are therapists who sleep with troubled clients; politicians who make billions for their own private companies through war-mongering; modern-day spiritual leaders whose true goal is to sexually or financially exploit naive followers and investment gurus who promote Ponzi schemes and later blame their victims for their “greed.” Sociopathy, like any other psychological disorder, has a range of severity. People who merely have antisocial traits tend to be thoughtless and insensitive. They are cold, calculating, greedy and overly-entitled. Sociopaths have no qualms about breaking society’s rules or using others as stepping-stones on their way up the ladder of success. Still, many are able to cultivate a benign or even sweet demeanor, which enables them to ingratiate themselves to potential victims. On the extreme end of the sociopathic range are the rapists, sadists and serial killers who take pleasure in causing humiliation and pain. Then there are the pimps, blackmailers and members of motorcycle gangs and other types of organized crime. They employ charm and seduction or bribery, coercion and intimidation to entrap their victims. The more intelligent the sociopath, the more dangerous they are. These people are the predators of the human race, and just as a great cat is able to identify the weaker animal within a group and to sneak up on it, the sociopath will recognize the needy, the vulnerable and the naive. The intelligent sociopath is more successful in part because they’re that much better at disguising their true intentions. The antisocial individual exploits the emotional weakness in their prey in the same way a lion or a leopard takes advantage of a lame or diseased gazelle. The cleverer they are, the easier it is for them to recognize and exploit the weak areas in someone’s personality.Children are sitting ducks for sociopaths because they are defenseless against them. That’s why it’s so important for them to have good supervision. For adults, holding on to any child-like traits, such as being overly-trusting or credulous is never wise. An attitude of healthy skepticism is far safer. Those who insist on believing that everyone is “nice” and has good intentions will be as vulnerable to being preyed upon as any actual child. When it comes to our dealings with politicians, financial advisors or CEOs, to be well-informed is to be empowered. Along with being skeptical, knowledge and understanding of a given situation makes it that much harder to be exploited, manipulated or lied to. In day-to-day life, we can begin to recognize the sociopaths among us by being alert to excessive coldness, ambition, aggressiveness or charm; by questioning the motivations of those in positions of power and by looking for inconsistencies in people’s words and actions. Someone who is too good to be true is often later revealed to be a sociopath, as is the overly ruthless and relentless individual. In romance, sociopaths often start out as generous and charismatic. They’ll sweep you off your feet by showering you with attention and making you feel special and privileged. For an emotionally needy person with low self-esteem, this type of courtship is a dream comes true, but it soon turns into a nightmare as the actual intentions of the sociopath are revealed. In romance, there’s the typical abusive partner about whom much has been written. Another type of sociopathic lover is unavailable, exciting rebel. They are iconoclastic, charismatic and fascinating. They make a relationship with them into a tantalizing challenge. They might even tell you out-right that they’re no good and will only hurt you, but they do this knowing full well that it will only make you try harder to be with them.This type of person enjoys playing with you the way a cat relishes torturing a mouse. They are sadistic, and they know exactly how it will end: with them triumphant and you devastated. They are excited by your admiration and desire, as it feeds their sense of grandiosity. How you end up is of no concern to them, and they will dump you unceremoniously when you are no longer useful or amusing. A sociopath is incapable of taking responsibility for their bad behavior. They will never change. Any woman who is attracted to an antisocial man and believes that her love will transform him is setting herself up for disaster. These aren’t “lost boys” who need a good woman to heal them, as the movies and TV so falsely and dangerously portray; they are full-grown, ruthless predators Whether our next-door neighbor or local politician; our boss or blind date, there are indeed sociopaths among us. Being able to identify them will spare us a lot of grief. Whether we encounter a milder form of the disorder or an outright monster, having a realistic, questioning attitude toward the people in our lives will stand us in good stead.Source ,http://omtimes.com/2013/09/inside-the-mind-of-a-sociopath/

Ah, Sundays. A day so lazy even God himself used it for a well-earned rest. Perfect for sleeping off that Saturday-night hangover, slobbing about in your sweatpants, reading a book or watching an old film. But for the more active-minded among us it's also a day for doing things and going places, making sure you don't waste a second of valuable leisure time on something that can easily be done on a week-day.

A Practical Approach

Sundays are as individual as the people who want to enjoy them. One person's relaxation is another's tedium. And likewise, one person's sound advice is another's waste of breath. But the following are suggestions that work for different Researchers, so see which one works best for you:My suggestion is to get up as early as possible, walk the dog, get the papers - whatever. Then get home, put the oven/grill on and get breakfast/lunch underway... [in other words] make sure you get all the things done that you hate doing through the week; washing, ironing, packed lunch/sandwich making (make and freeze your sandwiches for the days ahead) and by the time you've got your work done, your cooked breakfast will be ready. Then you can relax, watch some telly, read, sleep... and you will have a great day knowing that some of next week's work is done. Or there's the 'regression' route:I would take my kids to church on Sunday morning, then, spend the afternoon finishing homework, projects, papers, or studying for school. Or go out shopping (but nothing huge and insane) or go to the park or the pool or visit a friend. Maybe clean up the yard and play with a pet. In short, just do kid things.As the weather gets worse, it's pretty much PlayStation 2 all day. Sometimes I even let my little one have a go... And there's always the Internet to keep him busy while I cook the Sunday roast.And then there's the 'Sod it' approach:Even if you have twenty things you have to accomplish on Monday, just relax on Sunday. 'Tomorrow,' as they say, 'will take care of itself.'

Sofa Sundays

It's the obvious one. Staying in your peejams with a hot drink, the Sunday papers and a view of the outside world from the comfort of your own sofa.In the Autumn and Winter, when the air is growing crisp and my allergy to cold weather starts acting up again, I like to throw on some baggy sweat clothes and curl up on the sofa with a warm cup of cream tea, biscuits, and a good book - preferably by Jane Austen or something by the Brontë sisters. I play classical music on the radio and burn scented candles. As the sky outside darkens, I allow the candles (aided only slightly by a string or two of holiday twinkle lights) to provide the room's illumination. I have been known on occasion to bake or make soup while reading, so that the entire apartment is filled with warm cooking smells. It's just so relaxed and comfortable and homey, and taking that time goes a long way toward reviving me before heading back to 'the real world' on Monday.For the Couch Potatoes among us (and we know there are many out there), Sunday is also the perfect time to veg out in front of the telly and catch up on some classic repeats, as these Researchers can testify:For UK-based Researchers, there's a good three hours of quality TV on a Sunday on Channel 4. Stargate SG1 followed by Scrapheep Challange and then Enterprise. I record all of those and watch them for the rest of the week over and over...

Walks

Now, for those of us for whom climbing onto the sofa is too exhausting, be warned that this entry is about to become much more... well, active. Going on a long walk is a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon, especially if you're working off an indulgent Sunday lunch or a hangover from the night before (you know, not the 'I just want to die in peace' variety, more of the 'slightly woozy but at peace with the world and quite likely to watch a Hugh Grant movie at some point this evening' sort). It doesn't have to be planned; if you live in a city you can wander around there. Planning a walk can get complicated, but you'll often get the best results. If you live near a forest or woodlands, children can have great fun collecting sticks and hiding behind trees.

Sport!

Few people would argue against the benefits of a nice lie in - in fact many would deem it essential for a Sunday. But spare a thought for those poor people who find themselves kicked out of bed for a day of extreme activities - such as ... Seasonal Sundays

What you decide to do with your own 'day of rest' can often be influenced by the time of year. Here are just a few 'seasonal sighs', no doubt with fond memories attached to them all:In Summer, you might find yourself sitting in the back yard with the kids, both big and little, playing on the hill, the beach, in the lake... Barbecues, cold refreshing beverages in the cooler and fine company... Frisbees or kites on the green, a long day of Tennis, Pimms, Grass stained knees and insect bites...Autumn is for strolling hand in hand through piles of leaves, wrapped up snug and returning to the warmth of the house.Winter - bundled up, boots, gloves, scarves, sweaters, going across the street and crunching through the snow in the woods, or marvelling at the ice sculpture on the beach... late rises (thank you, whoever invented Daylight Saving Time - the extra hour is much appreciated), mornings with the newspapers and a brunch followed by perhaps a kick of football, a run around or a game of golf followed by a late lunch... and then further indulgence in front of a roaring fire.Spring is definitely a walk in the woods on that one special sunny day when it's finally warm enough, you still need boots, there's still some snowmelt, but the briars and brambles are only just starting to grow and that massive old tree you used to have a tree fort in has lost that big limb the tire swing used to be on.Spring calls for something similar but returning to the house preceded by a jar down the local which following the fresh air of spring and the natural spring time urges leaves you hot, flustered and gagging for it!...a gesture, a look, a simple touch, not even a caress, just a touch... being able to set your own rhythm, with accent beats and multi-layered harmony. Ah, Sundays...

A Unique Sunday

One Researcher gave such a detailed outline of a perfect Sunday, it would have been a shame not to share it here. Picture the scene - it's the final day of the weekend in a district of Exeter, UK, and you need to make the absolute most of it:Get up early, don sporting apparel and attempt an eight-mile run ... up through Heavitree, branching left at Magdalen Street, and then coast down towards town, negotiating the spaghetti junction of the inner by-pass. Get onto the flood berms of the River Exe, cross over the river, running downstream. Branch off onto the canal tow-path, and stay on this until you reach the outer by-pass. Turn left up towards the Topsham Road roundabout, which you cross with caution. Then up the outer bypass towards Middlemoor staying left at the Roundabout and heading back down into Heavitree. Take the money out of your sock, and pop into the newsagents to get Sunday papers and an Economist. Perambulate gently home. That's an hour gone.BBC Radio 4 now supplies the omnibus edition of The Archers, after which you mount your trusty bicycle and pedal down to the Double Locks (you've already run past it once today so you know where it is). Enjoy several pints of ale to accompany your chilli-potato or your Stilton ploughman's lunch. Cycle home (gingerly, and staying off the public road in the interests of road safety and the safe custody of your cycling proficiency badge) and settle down to a Sunday afternoon match on the box. Feet up.Enjoy a sun-downer (even if there isn't any sun) in the back yard before preparing supper - poached eggs, sauté potatoes, some baked beans maybe, washed down with a cheap bottle of South African pinotage. Wander back into Heavitree for a pint or two in the Royal Oak, playing cribbage for the imagined hand in marriage of a local lovely...

Sunday Best

In this speedy world, we often forget to allow time for ourselves time to catch our breath. Time to catch up with sleep, to relax, to think things over and to maybe empty our minds and let go of all those things we worry about. What better way to achieve all of this essential rest and recuperation than to - do nothing?Some of my friends have forgotten how to do nothing - they can't sit still for more than a few minutes before they have to get up and *do* something! No wonder that people are suffering from stress, feeling burnt out - they have forgotten how to relax! It's very difficult, trying to do nothing. You usually end up doing something, like eating, drinking, logging on to the Internet - but try to avoid making plans, and leave your watch on the bedside table. Most people have such busy lives, and everyone seems to think it's a terrible waste to spend time with your feet up staring into space, or whatever. Some people feel obligated to do, do, do, so they can look back on the weekend and check off a mental 'things to do' list. But staring into space is, we're reminded, no less valid than, say, doing the ironing, clearing out the garage or playing tennis. Of course, if you're a naturally very active person, the idea of spending an hour or two drifting with your thoughts is probably horrifying!I suppose what I really think is that Sundays should be spent doing exactly what you feel like on the day. You've got to do something - make the most of the short time you have before Monday comes barging in with all the grace of an arthritic water buffalo, demanding attention and generally making a nuisance of itself.I only worry about Monday mornings on a Monday morning, and by then it's too late as it is already here. After all, you only have two days to yourself each week and it would be dumb to waste half of them!