With the advent of the internet, pornography has become a much more significant pastime in modern society and although it is still not completely accepted by older generations, its dominance as an industry is at an all time high.

My first introduction to porn was when my older sister’s male friend sneakily bought a friend and me an adult magazine as teenagers and I am not ashamed to admit that I viewed a fair amount of material throughout my youth. This is true for a large proportion of males, although not so many females it seems. As a result of studying a wealth of sexual practices and techniques as well as developing my own sexuality, I have come to notice a lot of detrimental factors that come from watching too much porn…

Me next to a giant sign outside a club in Munich

Porn prior to sex:

As porn becomes more and more accessible to youngsters, it’s likely that they will have watched porn prior to having sex for the first time. The point is that porn actually acts as an educational resource for a lot of teenagers these days. With sex education in schools being extremely limited and many parents finding sexual topics too taboo to discuss with their kids, porn becomes an interesting and useful introduction to sex for a young teenager. The outcome of this is that these people are not necessarily being taught the best preparation and attitude towards sexual fulfilment.

Porn creates an unrealistic view of sex:

The problem with men watching too much porn is that it creates an unrealistic view of sex. Nonsense porn storylines aside (such as the plumber coming round and having his way with the bored housewife), porn still promotes a distinct lack of connection required for sex. This is one reason why men will much more readily sleep with an attractive female stranger than vice versa. As a general rule, females have not been exposed to so much pornography and therefore this is one reason why women require a lot more of a connection with a man before sleeping with him. Have you ever heard a woman defiantly claim she will never sleep with a man on a first date? What she actually means with that statement is that she won’t sleep with a man whom she doesn’t feel sufficiently comfortable with.

Porn focuses on limited senses:

Another problem with porn is that it teaches men to focus purely on their visual and audible senses, as that is all that porn can cater for.

Real, meaningful sex – more so in a long-term relationship but still relevant for things such as one-night stands – is about ALL the senses, most importantly touch and the emotional connection between both parties. I never knew quite how good sex was until I learnt to incorporate everything on a physical and spiritual level into the act.

Porn decreases your sex drive:

A decrease in sex drive is not always the direct result of watching porn but more so the act of masturbating frequently to porn. A lot of men have trouble lasting long enough during sexual intercourse because they’ve trained themselves for quick gratification. Most men who masturbate to porn are more interested in getting their moment of pleasure over and done with as quickly as possible. Over time this conditions their bodies to always react that way.

Further on from this, porn actually desensitises viewers to sex, especially when you incorporate more explicit forms of pornography. This in turn will decrease one’s sex drive towards women and actually detract from trying to find a suitable mate (why would they need real sex when they can emulate it at home?)

I’d be very interested to hear other people’s opinions on this subject, as it seems to be something that is rarely discussed. I would also be extremely interested in any females willing to give their honest views and experiences regarding pornography, as I would hate to think that this is purely a male issue. 🙂

2) My first experience with porn was when I read one of my mother’s romance novels when I was 11 or 12 (I would say this is typical for most women my age), and it was love at first read. And although you guys (well… my guy) will make fun of these awesomely awesome awesome books, I have to say that my addiction to them is solely because of the extremely graphic sex scenes (also, the only reason I buy Cosmo is for the Red Hot Read). So, chicks like me get their kicks through romance novels.
*It should be noted that I think these books can be just as unrealistic as photographic or video porn. Guys have huge thingamabobs and the girl always has an orgasm within two minutes:)

3) I think looking at/reading porn is healthy in small doses. It could give you new ideas or reignite your sex drive. However, things that I think are bad and evil about porn: watching porn with your partner (you both become self-conscious), making a sex tape with your partner (you only realize how ridiculous you look during sex)(ammendment: unless you’re really hot), and masturbating more than you have sex with your partner (unless you’re single — then go at it; everybody needs some lovin, even if it’s self-lovin).

4) In addition to romance novels, I also seem to be addicted to using perentheses. (:D)

Really Great Article Sam.
This is something I’ve only noticed recently myself.
Porn teaches men to believe that sex is just about sticking your dick in a woman that’s physically attractive, when it’s not just that. Physical attractiveness is only a small part of attractiveness.

I think watching porn as a couple though is really cool. (I also think making it is cool too)
I also really enjoy written porn. Like Literotica.com which is sexual fantasies. It’s really awesome because you really get to use your imagination.

Hey Lady V,
Thanks for that revelation… I definitely suspected more girls watch porn than they let on… I imagine it’s the same sort of ratio as the number of girls who own sextoys compared to the number who admit it! 🙂
I would actually LOVE to read more romance novels; I’ve barely read any! Do you have any specific recommendations? 🙂
I definitely agree that porn can excite new ideas into someone’s sexlife, however there are generally far better educational-style products available for that where you can be more trusting of its authenticity. For example… People should never use porn as an educational resource for trying advanced sexual techniques for the first time in the same way as the pornstars. Pornstars have obviously worked up to a certain level that beginners simply shouldn’t try to replicate. Anal sex is a good example of this and hence most people approach something like that in completely the wrong way.
As for your personal points about the perils of porn, I have to say I only strongly agree with the last one about not masturbating too much. Watching porn or making a sex tape can be a wonderful exposé in a relationship, as long as it is done correctly, with preparation and whilst in the correct state of mind.
Thanks for your insights,
Sam
PS: Are you sure huge thingamebobs and two minute orgasms are unrealistic!?!… ahem! 🙂

Hey dude,
Thanks for your comment and thanks for your link to the eroticism… I’ll definitely have a read of some of those. 🙂
I know you know the book already but for those that don’t, I highly recommend the book ‘My Secret Garden’ by Nancy Friday… It’s a compilation of real women’s sexual fantasies and it has a lot of eye-openers in it that’s for sure!! 🙂
Take it easy,
Sam

Woh, I checked out the website that the second commenter recommended… I’m not sure if I was reading the wrong section but it seemed to be comprised solely of incest eroticism!! Titles such as ‘Daddy’s Little Slut’ and ‘Mother and Son Lust’ are not for me thankyou. 🙂 I think my girlfriend was more shocked by this than me… I found the way they were written rather comical. 🙂
Sam

“I believe this is the main reason why guys will much more readily sleep with an attractive female stranger than vice versa. As a general rule, females have not been exposed to so much pornography and therefore this is one of the reasons why women require a lot more of a connection with a man before sleeping with him.”

Nah, the main reason for this is that in the past women would get lumbered with a nice surprise 9 months after having sex, whereas men could go from knobbing woman to woman without the fear of a massive burden.

Hey Dirk,
I’d say it’s a roughly equal share between social conformity and biological resistance (the latter of which wasn’t relevant to this article, hence why I omitted it). Yes women logically know in this day and age that contraception renders almost all risk from sex obsolete, however we all equally know about the female emotional reaction to sex with a new person, commonly referred to as ‘last minute resistance’.
I purposefully refrained from tagging on the word ‘main’ in my analysis due to this fact, although I would say social conformity is becoming a far more prevalent factor to this discussion than the fear of pregnancy, in my generation at least. This was highlighted mostly during my University years. Fear of pregnancy is a far easier obstacle to overcome than a woman’s disquietude at being branded a ‘slut’. 🙂
Thanks for your comment,
Sam

Hi,
If you are referring to the article itself then the ideas expressed are obviously my personal opinions and observations but I do believe they have substance behind them. I’m not aware of any official study that has uncovered any real side-effects from porn but my personal opinion is that porn, like anything else, should be kept in moderation to be healthy to someone’s own development, sexually or otherwise. 🙂
Thanks for visiting.
Sam

I agree with 100%. Porn will ruin a loving relation. It destroys trust, belittles and degrade not only women but also the men. Excuse you men, why would do that to yourself – self sex, sounds kinda gay to me.

Although the above article focuses on the negative aspects of porn, I personally don’t think that it is always bad. It is all about perspective and moderation!

Porn can definitely destroy trust and degrade men and women but there are couples (and even single men and women) that use it appropriately. There also exists genres of porn that focus far more on the loving and sensual aspects of sex and these do not promote the issues you mention.