Life is often less stressful and more enjoyable for everyone around us when we worry about our own problems and concentrate on the things we can control in our lives, then when we worry about other people's problems and the things we can't control in thiers.

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*In clinical studies, Matthies was well tolerated, but women who are pregnant, nursing or might become pregnant should not take or handle Matthies due to a rare, but serious side effect called him having to make child support payments.

If this is the first time he's going to fail because of his own laziness or whatever, that's just sad. If he'd dealt with failure earlier in life, he maybe wouldn't be in this situation. It's never too late to learn though.

Stop enabling him. He's an adult, and he can live his own life. He's more than old enough to deal with the consequences of his decisions, and you've done more than enough to help him already.

I think you'll feel better if you lay it out for him, though, before you remove yourself from the situation. Give him one more sit-down, explain it like you would to anyone else, ask him if he has any questions for you, and then be done. You can also promise to be there for advice and questions if that would make you feel better. I don't think it's not tough love anymore if you simply treat him like you would any other adult, and most adults would answer questions and give advice if asked.

Honestly, though, at this point I'm unsure as to how you could keep him from falling flat on his face. Arrears? No job? Failed the bar (probably twice)? It might be out of your hands at this point.

I feel you, though. One of my brothers has tendencies in this direction, and it's enormously frustrating. My solution is to treat him like an adult as much as possible.

Ok a little background: he hasn't done poo with his life, literally. As a testament to his legendary non-achievements, he has never NEVER held a job, took 10 years to finish undergrad, and "chilled" for 2 more years before he decided to attend law school.

Edited on 10/18/08 to ensure more anonymity

I'm not sure why you edited this to ensure anonymity. You should first be brutally honest with him about what direction his life has taken and then extend a helping hand should he make an honest/reasonable effort at picking up the pieces. I'm going to assume uses the old "I'm living life carefree and to the fullest" excuse to justify being lazy and avoiding responsibility. Tell him he's essentially a ambitionless deadbeat and put him in a position to choose whether to sink or swim. He'll initially be mad at you for saying it, mainly because it's true..but maybe pissing him off would help him get his act together.