Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

Your marriage on facebook

But I hope to see you right away, and we will speak face to face. (3 John 1:14 NET)

The average American spends 40 minutes a day on Facebook. It’s probably safe to assume that number is higher for teenagers, who by contrast spend only an average of 4.2 minutes a day reading. Almost one-fourth of teens report logging in to their Facebook accounts more than 10 times a day.[i]

As spouses, we should be concerned about the way that Facebook is affecting our relationships, too. A 2010 study from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of divorce lawyers have seen an increase in Facebook as a reason in divorce cases. In 2008, one in five divorce proceedings cited “Facebook.” By 2011, that number had risen to one in three. Another study that year found that one-third of those with a social network report having contemplated leaving their spouse, as compared to less than one-fifth of those without a Facebook page. Presumably that’s partly because the network helps people keep potential partners on the backburner.

Recent studies have shown that Facebook seems to make people feel less happy in general, probably because of the way it encourages comparison. People use Facebook to promote and exaggerate the happier and more appealing aspects of their lives, which leaves others feeling like the lives of others are far better than their own.

When we stop to think about it, nobody is always happy, and nobody’s life is always perfect and flawless, even if it appears to be so online. It is wise for us to stop comparing our life to that of others and measure our happiness and satisfaction based on what others post on their Facebook status. It would be better to log off and remember all the good things you have going in your marriage and in your family. You may not be doing all the “fun” things others are doing, purchasing all the items are buying, or eating all the food others are consuming, but neither are you feeling their pain, experiencing their loss, or sharing in their problems.

Father God, help us to be more appreciative of what we have in our marriage and our family so we may be more content with what we have and wish less for what others seem to have.