Latex Ladies [WATCH]

We’ve got a special treat for you today, boys and girls. Everyone is posting the new Lady Gaga perfume ad for Fame, but nobody is doing it as a Super-Special Double-Feature Post in conjunction with Steven Klein‘s spread for W starring Linda Evangelista in a new twist on the bored-housewife-in-fetish-gear shoot. And that new twist is… she’s got fake boobs!

Evangelista isn’t a very nice person, but to her credit she doesn’t try to be, and we appreciate honesty above annoying unpleasantries like false humility, which is usually just acute insecurity fishing for relief from itself, anyway. She’s also a great model in the sense she looks like nobody else and does something with that uniqueness to loan a performance to the clothes and the story. As for photographer Klein, he has always delivered his brand of stagey humor, rather than just having a girl run around while he blazes off film and grabs a random snap, so we applaud him for the effort. (Video after the jump.)

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The Gaga ad, also directed by Klein, is actually pretty good… if it were a trailer for one of her music videos, if music videos had trailers. Okay, maybe it’s the trailer for one of her really epic music videos where she talks and stuff so that it’s more like a short film with a boom-boom song and choreography. In fact, it’s so trailer-like they aren’t calling it an ad, they’re calling it… a trailer.

We were always told that when women selected a perfume they were buying a fantasy and the campaign for it had to be aspirational, so we’re imagining that what girls want now is Fifty Shades of Grey. Period. No more breathless existential surrealism rolling around in the surf. It’s, like, gimme my bondage, my latex, black sprinkly lipstick, my crampon fingernails, strap me down, insert something (anything that isn’t flesh), and then tighter, no, I said TIGHTER, more, I’ve been so naughty, YES!

The breathy Christmas-perfume tag line at the end—”Gaga. Lady Gaga.”— is a riot, and just goes to show: It’s all Calvin Klein, baby . Enjoy:

TRICK OR TWEET

Just learned the hard, deeply embarrassing way that wiggling your fingers in a down-came-the-rain motion from Eensie Weensie Spider is NOT improvised international sign language for "Is it still raining outside?"

So hard for me as an American in Vietnam to resist beginning every conversation with, "Terribly sorry for what we did. It was horrific, a tragic mistake. So, I'll start with the Mién hài sàn, then as a main course..."

Thai driver: "You both have beautiful color eyes. But can you see clearly with them like we do? If I show you to my nephew he think you are vampires from Twilight movie." It's not racism if you're compared to undead emo adolescents with potentially murky vision.

Let's face it, Western food is cowardly with flavors and boring, even at its most "gourmet" pretentious. Imagine if a Thai or Vietnamese tire company gave out coveted, make-or-break stars. Would any restaurant west of the Khyber Pass get one? #culturalimperialism