Latest Slimy Stories

That's what the newspapers called him. It felt like every bad super-hero story. Like some cigar-chomping tool at the local Tribune slapped on a random name he pulled out of his ass.

Picturing an editor trying to come up with a catchy name for my sister's killer gives me a rage headache. I now know how every victim feels when they see the media lifting a criminal to celebrity status. I didn't understand that line of reasoning before.

So, basically, I'm writing this now as a sort of counter against that mindset.

When I arrived at my sister's house that night, I expected nothing other than to console her over the loss of our mother. Mom had passed away a couple weeks prior, and, being all but a shut-in, sis had no one else to talk to when a bout of depre...

1.) Give a basic description of what you're trying to remember in the title of your post.2.) Be nice.3.) Do not derail threads.4.) Do not share personal information.5.) Do not post "upvote if you remember..." threads.

67 Children's puppet show about vikings. One had a pumpkin head. self.strangelyfamiliarsubmitted 1 day ago by RexLandon

Looking for information about an old puppet show. Probably on PBS. Featured a group of vikings that traveled to different places and harassed a bunch of stereotypically ethnic characters. One had a pumpkin for a head.

I'm a nice guy. I try not to judge people on their looks or immediate behavior, and for the most part I like to think I've always been that way. There have only been a few exceptions to this rule. Mostly the random gibbering homeless people or ranting religious zealots. People you pass on the way to work, and don't want to get involved with. The one I remember most often, however, was Jeffrey Jones.

I went to school with Jeff. Mostly. I don't want to get ahead of myself, here, but it'd be more appropriate to say I spent about one school year with him. We were both freshmen at the stale, white-and-blue high school that seemed more like a prison or a factory than a place of education.

Jeff was fucking weird. Not in same way as someone who's way too smart or way too stupid, or a boy who'...

Red Apple brand snack foods aren't made with apples. I mean, I guess that's probably obvious to most people, but as a kid I assumed they were. Even when the bag said "potato chips" or "sourdough pretzels" right there in bright lettering, I still didn't give the actual ingredients a second thought.

That's one of the main reasons Tracy Zackowski made fun of me from second through fourth grade. There were other reasons, but they're not important to these events and I'd rather not publicize them, anyway. One fateful childhood conversation in the sandbox lead to a protracted argument about whether or not Red Apple brand pork rinds were made of apples.

I was on the wrong side of history, naturally, but at the time I thought the other kids were incapable of reading the words right at the top of...

I've heard it said that if you want to work in television or film these days, you need to "adapt or die".

This doesn't mean you have to change to fit the tastes of modern audiences, or keep up with current trends or technology. It literally means that if you're pitching your concept to a production company or network, you'd better be adapting an established property, or your project is likely to be dead on arrival.

If you're not hoping to create a prequel, sequel, spin-off, or the much dreaded reboot, you'll want to present an adaptation of something with a pre-existing audience. It seems like executives are less and less willing to take a risk on an original concept, when they can cut corners and use name recognition to put asses in seats.

This will probably get annoying for both of us, but I have to change a few names in this post. Basically, I signed a non-disclosure agreement with a certain corporation, and I'm not even supposed to be sharing what I'm about to say. Changing the names will at least give me some little shred of legal safety.

In fact... for legal purposes, I'll go ahead and say this story is completely fictional, and any relation to real-world events is a total coincidence. Plus, let's be honest. Any attempts at tracking my account will not work, but you're welcome to try.

So... There's this company called "Zillion", that I'm sure you've all heard of. They're probably one of the most well-known corporations in the world, and everyone with an internet connection has definitely used their search engine at le...

I didn't know I was poor until December, 2005. I was 8 years old, and as an only daughter, I was showered with enough love and attention that I barely noticed the absence of possessions.

That Christmas Eve, though, I learned a few things. That year, they held a “Toys for Tots” styled event at the local video store. Customers were encouraged to drop a toy into a cardboard box to earn points toward a free rental. I'd seen the box before, and even asked my mom if we should donate something 'for a poor kid'. That's how oblivious I was.

That day, my parents brought me to the store to return Prisoner of Azkaban. When I saw Santa seated on a throne in the middle of the room, I immediately knew I was really there to see him. I was ecstatic as we waited, and I could barely keep from breaking into...

I was about sixteen at the time and had just dropped out of high school with my parents' blessing. It wasn't the sort of place where you'd learn much of anything. Aside from how to take a punch, that is.

That was a period in my life where I had no actual idea what I was going to do with myself. School had been the place holder that took up most of my time, and the sudden freedom was more scary than relieving. I knew I was supposed to be accomplishing something, but other than sketching out doodles and writing half-baked stories I had no real plans.

As usual, my Mom ended up planning for me. She decided that I was going to volunteer somewhere and help others while getting some sort of experience that might lead me down the path to a ...

This weekend, I spent some time with my younger cousin, Eddie. We don't know each other that well, but enough to have fun passing time together when necessary. (We're separated by a couple states, so the disconnect is only natural.)

Usually, we would sit at his computer any troll online games. We would log into war games just to run around shooting our own team-mates, or we'd join a "Draw My Thing" style game and sketch out completely unrelated and profane images until we got kicked. Not the more intelligent way to spend our time, but it kept us laughing until our parents were done visiting.

That weekend, however, Eddie had some new games he wanted to try out. Not to troll them, but for legitimate fun. During our time apart, he got really into watching YouTube Let's Players like Pewdiepi...

Basically, my Mom was the only one who looked after Grandma in her later years. My Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins couldn't be bothered to visit even when they were passing through town, mere miles away. I've always kind of wondered how much of the decision to leave everything to us was really Grandma's choice... but in the end I really think she would've done it that way if she could.

After the money came in and our extended family was done sneering and moaning about it, we moved to a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood. My Mom, Dad, and little sister Joey seemed like everyone in the world up until that point. When I was exposed to neighbors I could actually talk to and a street full of children who didn't spit at each other, it w...

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"Slimebeast" is essentially the FearFic pen name of creative dynamo Christopher Howard Wolf, though it covers more on occasion. Other usernames include "Tormental" in the world of YouTube Let's Play gaming, and "Motorhed"... in the far off past when he was working on one of the first graphical multiplayer online games, "DragonSpires".