You have found the home of 'Being Me', Fran Hill's blog. Browse for a while, have a laugh, and if you like what you read, you'll like my book'Being Miss' which you can order from this site. My main website is at www.franhill.co.uk where you'll find pictures of George Clooney and Rufus Sewell. I may be lying about that, though.

Okay, so they're not the real thing, and only there because I had to have two fillings and therefore a shedload of anaesthetic enough to numb a herd of wildebeest. But just for a few hours, as I sit here, just returned from the dentist, my lips feel deliciously Massive.

And they only cost me £36. I bet celebrities pay a LOT more than that.

When I got on the bus back from the dentist, I had to speak to the bus driver, of course. And my lips felt so big, like two barrage balloons top and bottom, that instead of saying, 'Single to Leamington, please,' I said, 'Smibble doo Lebbyton, fleas' and it took us a while to sort the fare out. I wonder if this is how actresses feel when they've had theirs done. It must play havoc with the line-learning for a while, even if it does mean you can kiss Johnny Depp, George Clooney and Ewan McGregor all at once if you want to. And who wouldn't want to?

I did take one sneaky peek in my hand mirror on the bus. You know how it is - you're convinced you're dribbling saliva like a goon when you've just had fillings your lips enlarged and I thought I'd better check. It was a complete come-down, feeling like I was going to be mistaken for Angelina Jolie and then looking in the mirror and realising that only my mind thinks I've got big lips. I've not felt so disappointed since I thought I'd lost seven stone and then remembered I was in the Hall of Mirrors at the fair.

Fran couldn't afford plastic surgery, and the lips the dentist gave her only lasted a few hours.
She wondered what other methods she could try without anyone noticing....

There was a woman who'd had a (disastrous? not sure what she'd hoped for) lip enhancement on our cruise (we cruisers see a lot of this kind of thing...), and it was HORRIBLE. So don't wish your lips away, Fran.

I nicked some of my daughter's posh lip plumping gloss to get Angelina Jolie lips in time for my husband's return from work. It did the job but he didn't comment so I asked him if he noticed anything, "Yeah you've not washed up the breakfast stuff" was his reply.

About Me

I'm a writer and English teacher based in Warwickshire.

'Being Miss' on Amazon Kindle, from FeedARead, or directly from me (UK) - go to 'Add to Cart'

Recent review: Funny and easy to read, Fran Hill's 'Being Miss' charts the life of a teacher in a secondary school...in one day. The day is jam packed with unfortunate incidents and sharp, insightful descriptions. Beautifully written with a delightfully flippant narrator. Great fun!

Being Miss by Fran Hill - get paperback version sent directly to you (in UK). Thank you!