So my girlfriend wants to be in a gang bang.... without me.

So she wants to be in a gang bang and make me watch. I, for obvious reasons, do not want this to happen and have expressed that to her. However she persists and claims that me not allowing her to do this is not an act of love, but an act of possession. What should I do. (Side note: she offered for me to be in the gang bang, but I don’t feel comfortable with that) Any help is greatly appreciated!!

uncreative_name_7 3875 S

Sometimes there are bridges we just don't want to cross in life. In a relationship they are called "non negotiables."

If she is unwilling to budge, and demands her fantasy, crossing a non negotiable for you, she doesn't respect your feelings and you shouldn't be with her.

We all have fantasies. Some more realistic than others. If not being gangbanged is a condition for dating you, she has to accept it.

But you need to be clear and open about why this is non negotiable. Not a single "you know" in your statement.

You don't need to justify, just explain your feelings.

nvenvy 922

Agree with this 100%. Left my husband/partner of 10 years because eventually there was a non-negotiable in our relationship. Fuck "sunken cost". Doesn't matter how long you've been together. If you can't accept it then you can't accept it. Something's gotta give.

HungryRice 186

Do you mind me asking what this non-negotiable term was?

nvenvy 496

I am monogamous, he is polyamourous and apparently didn’t realise it until after being married for 3 years. Insisted I accepted his new way of life and new girlfriend. Asked me for a separation and after a month I asked for a divorce.

drunktacos 211

Shit, you sound like me from an alternate timeline. Together for 6 years, she realized she was poly and I knew that was one of my non-negotiables, but went through it anyways for 6 months. Sunken cost fallacy had me by the balls.

Sorry that happened to you, I wholeheartedly understand.

nvenvy 75

“Sunk cost” as someone has very graciously pointed out. But yeah, I stuck with it for 1 year, met the girl for dinner and everything. I tried until I couldn’t anymore. So hey, props to us for at least giving it a shot.

Sorry that happened to you too. It sucks but hey, it is what it is. Better now then when we’re older with kids and things.

drunktacos 68

I didn't get as far as meeting him - he kinda hated my guts and was not a fan of the arrangement, but was desperate. He wanted her all for himself, and hated that on paper it was only me.

I will say she played it correctly though, when I explained to her how this arrangement wasn't healthy for anyone, and I broke it off. She broke it off with him too, and has been single since.

Lessons learned, and as you said, better now. I'd rather have that happen at 25 then at 35. And being single can be fun sometimes.

nvenvy 31

That happened to me too!! I left him, he left her. I wonder if they thought it was such a stupid thing to try and should’ve probably dropped the idea the moment we said we weren’t comfortable with it.

drunktacos 36

I think some part of them romanticized having it work out swimmingly, then when one piece of the equation goes to shit, the whole thing kinda goes to shit. She told me it was a "both or none" mentality for her, which made me believe she may actually be poly instead of it being a fantasy.

As a monogamous person in poly relationship, it doesn’t have to be an all or none mentality. My husband is very, very good about listening to me and who I am comfortable with him being in a relationship with. I can’t fathom him telling me “it’s both or none.” That’s just odd. I’m sorry that happened. Poly is definitely complicated that’s for sure.

Murder_Ders 1

Being single SHOULD be fun!!!

JPSYCHC 53

Being polyamorous is not something you just innately “are”, and can just, accidentally not realize it. Like realizing you’re gay or something. It’s not a sexual orientation. Your husband just wanted an open marriage and you didn’t. I don’t think it is realistic to say “he realize he was poly”... I think that’s giving him too much of a pass. He wanted to be able to screw around, and that was more important to him than his marriage so you guys split. That’s all that happened.

I’m all for progressiveness, lifestyle choices etc; but it just strikes me as apologist and somewhat disingenuous when someone claims they “realized they were poly”. No they didn’t. Everyone is poly, we’re all attracted to what we’re attracted to and fantasize about being with others beyond our partner. No one has to “realize it”. Many of us just value the commitment of a wife/husband and family more than our sex drive, and even if we find other people for desirable, we have priorities set which preclude doing anything about it. I think it’s called being a mature adult.

Not that your ex was immature or childish; he just wasn’t interested in being committed. Shame. But that’s what happened.

To say the reason you split is that he discovered his poly-ness like it’s some sort of awakening... coming out... wow, I can’t believe I never noticed before! I want to screw lots of attractive people! Wow! So brave! When did you realize YOU were poly?! Like give me a break.

Sorry. End rant.

gravvs 36

Ughhhh this so much. Monogamy and polyamory are practices not identities.

I say this as someone who has practiced both and who is very open to poly relationships. It’s not a state of being like gender or orientation.

LongjumpingThing 4

People who are polyamorous are polyamorous because they feel and wish to express their love and romance towards more than one person and make the decision act on that. They also are sexually attracted to multiple people because, yeah, you're right, everyone has sexual fantasies about more than just one person. But the point is the attraction that you feel towards someone can be pursued if you choose to, and that is where loving relationships come from.

Did you get with the person (or last person) you were with and build a relationship just because you wanted to fuck them and keep fucking them? So why would you think that a polyamorous person is incapable of beginning and building a relationship with a new person without the same being true for them? Maybe you think all people can only feel love towards one person at a time, or maybe you think at least some people can but that pursuing a polyamorous relationship/experience is never worth the risk and pain, but unless you think you're insightful enough to tell a metric fuck ton of people who live that lifestyle they're either stupid or dishonest, you should find some empathy, stop being an ass, and get off your soapbox. And no, I have not been in a polyamorous relationship and don't expect to be (because most people aren't down for that, I don't mind not being in one).

But then again, maybe you mostly were upset by reading that someone left a relationship in order to see multiple people and described it as a "realization" of something that is part of their identity, or maybe it's upsetting because they called it a "realization" of something that you don't actually consider part of a persons identity. But whatever the case may be, you should recognize that how that person describes or reflects on a kind of choice like that is compex and nuanced. In a way it kind of goes back to what you were saying about how everyone is sexually attracted to multiple people. Do you believe people are capable of having romantic feelings for multiple people at once? If so, maybe he didn't realize that those feelings are something that can safely be explored if with the right people ("realized he was polyamorous"). Or maybe he didn't realize that spending the rest of the relationship and possibly his life monogamous was a non-negotiable for him (again, "realized he was polyamorous"). Hell, even if he decided he'd perfer to be in polyamorous relationships when he previously had not felt that way, it's absolutely okay for a person to make that decision. Sure, if that's the case, I would wish he'd explained it that way instead, but that would be a matter of his weakness in communication at best, and weakness as a person at worst. See how I'm giving that person the benefit of the doubt? You're allowed to do that. You know that saying "never attribute to malice what can just as easily be attributed to stupidity"? I think that saying applies here, and I think people should mentally start working in "emotional weakness" along with "stupidity". That's just my opinion though. I'm not saying he's a victim, because he's not. I'm saying I won't paint him as a villain.

Besides, if in your head you think of the guy as a total jackass, that's one thing and maybe you'd be right idk, but words matter and feeding the (possible) anger someone might feel towards someone they aren't with any more doesn't help them grieve the loss of that relationship in any healthier way than reminding someone that their estranged sibling was an asshole. u/nvenvy, I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the end of that relationship (and I'm wondering how often bad times crept up during the relationship as well), but I'm glad you're on your way towards being more fufilled with someone who is a better match with you and that you get to join the single party for a while. I know I'm super happy I did after getting out of a five year relationship. A friend of mine was telling me about how you should be with someone who makes you strive to be a better person, and I realize now that even though the end of the relationship hurt like a motherfucker, I wasn't with a person that met that criteria and being alone these past two years has made me strive to be a better person more than all five of those years.

boborgeorge 4

I have a couple issues/critiques on some of your arguments. I can’t say the person you wrote the above response is necessarily right with everything, but I feel your arguments kinda fall into the same boat as your objections to him/her, just with the opinion switched.

​

>People who are polyamorous are polyamorous because they feel and wish to express their love and romance towards more than one person and make the decision act on that.

​

To the extent that is an argument against the person you initially responded to that is begging the question. To the fact that people do everything in question because they feel like it on some level, that is general enough to be lack any useful explanatory power or distinguishing feature.

​

>But the point is the attraction that you feel towards someone can be pursued if you choose to, and that is where loving relationships come from.

​

The can come from. It definitely does not always lead to them, and even people who sometimes believe they are experiencing them often find they were mistaken. Take teenage romance for example. Many look back and realize what they thought they were experiencing in the moment had no bearing toward more properly understood concepts of love and healthy relationships, but where shaded by lust, naiveté, immaturity, or simple lack of reference.

​

>So why would you think that a polyamorous person is incapable of beginning and building a relationship with a new person without the same being true for them?

​

Humans are social creatures; we can and do build varied networks of relationships. The operative phrase you used is “being true for them”. Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems there is some intellectual slight of hand occurring here, where your term does not actually match the original understood term. In what context does someone who is polygamous remain true? Certainly they are not physically and emotionally. If you change the definition, one can be anything. This is important; for a romantic relationship absent a requisite amount of devotion cannot said to be equivocal to the “normatively understood” relationship here. They might care for, be fond of, be attractive to, or even love multiple people, but those are all things non polyamous people routinely do with people around them, thus the argument does not provide a sufficient basis to argue polygamous people hold equivalent relationships plural, as non polygamous people do singular.

​

​

>Maybe you think all people can only feel love towards one person at a time, or maybe you think at least some people can but that pursuing a polyamorous relationship/experience is never worth the risk and pain, but unless you think you're insightful enough to tell a metric fuck ton of people who live that lifestyle they're either stupid or dishonest, you should find some empathy, stop being an ass, and get off your soapbox.

​

Perhaps I am reading the original message wrong and missing it, but what did he write that deserved the snarkyness here? He took a position on what being polygamous entails, and maybe he is wrong there. Wrong or not, he laid out reasoning and he did so without condemning people who (at least in his opinion) are living that way.

In fairness to you, you seem to be taking issue with the original comment’s objection to the phrase “he realized he was poly”. You go on to hypothesized ways the husband could have plausibly said to come to a realization. I don’t agree with all of them, but overall you make the case for the husband coming to a realization he didn’t have before. ……I re-read his post (originally read it on mobile), and contrary to my sentence above, I do now see where he does appear flip and with an attitude that might rub those with the opposing viewpoint a bit wrong. I do think you are reacting to his glibness and ignoring a pivotal point of his though. Clearly the ex husband came to a decision he hadn’t made before (probably safe to say his action wasn’t planned), as such JPSYCHC objections to the husband claiming to have come to a realization is more properly understood in the context of what he claimed the ex husband actually was doing. That argument claimed that what the husband did was more akin to weighing value of his commitment to his marriage and OP, against what he thought he could elsewise being doing, and chose the later. Fundamentally, I think that is hard to argue against. You can argue that because the ex husband took an action that he presumably previously would not have guessed he would take, that has to constitutes a realization….. and semantically sure; however I don’t think that is a useful why of looking at the situation from a social sense.

​

What the ex husband did, was renege on his commitment and prioritize something else. Furthermore, similar such choices are faced by other people who refuse them, not because they are constitutionally unable to live similar lives, but because there values are different. I don’t see how that is false. If that statement is not false, where then does JPSYCHC go wrong?

​

TriRepeate -8

It seems in the American society you can be whatever the fuck you want and the society and your lovely ones have to accept you like this. Wtf is with this disgusting shit? People tend to be less responsible and people tend to think on themselves as some pieces of snowflakes.

TriRepeate

whatever the fuck you want and the society and your lovely ones have to accept you like this. Wtf is with this disgusting shit? People tend to be less responsible and people tend to think on themselves as some pieces of snowflakes.

Lol, Yankees got offended because in the real world you have to be responsible to don't look like a freak.

misunderstood_9gager 33

they wanted to be in a gangbang with OP's girlfriend

LunisolarLegumophile 49

Sunken cost sounds funny. I think it’s just sunk cost. I think only objects can be sunken like a sunken ship that sunk while it was sinking. I dunno, do we sunk or sunken money? Sink money sunken chunky change funky monkey sunk. My brain hurts.

You must have thought of the Sunken Drunk Fallacy, one of more well known but less understood fallacies...

AnnThrowaway777 14

I got stuck in that same trap... the "X Years Together" label is hard to let go of. A quote that sticks with me now is that the only thing worse than a bad 10 year relationship, is one that lasts 10 years + 1 day.

I_Dont_Check_PMs 6

Yep, I've also heard it phrased, "Don't stick with a mistake just because you spent a long time making it."

Oh ok so in this context the "cost" is everything you've invested in the relationship

I_Dont_Check_PMs 1

Yes, and it's completely irrational. "We've already been together for 5 years, I don't want to throw all that away!" Well you do want to throw away the next 5 years, and the 5 after that, etc., on a bad relationship?

Anach 26

Exactly, there are things I'm into, that are beyond what my wife is willing to do, and I can understand that. it doesn't make me love her less and doesn't cause any problems, and I can live without those things, it's not that important. I think the difference is, we knew this going into the relationship.

I hear a lot of stories of people trying to change the terms of the relationship agreement when they're already established, and that often doesn't go well, especially if someone accuses the other of being inflexible or at fault for them not being able to express themselves.

I also worry about these types of requests on reddit, as so many of them sound like the other person has already started something, and are now seeking approval to continue, without actually admitting to it. Although that could just be me being overly suspicious.

RosewoodAxe 2

I had a similar discussion with my ex. It wasn’t what broke off the relationship. But we talked about something along the lines of having a threesome, but he was not up for it whether it was with another female or male, but it was never a problem. No matter what my level of interest was on the subject, I cared about him more than I cared about the idea of an experience. If he wasn’t on board then there was no point to it.
It’s not like you’re threatening to break up with her at every second, but things like this matter if it’s a break it or make it for that person.

ricoue 11

True, but there is a reason why we as a society need to do away with our "anything goes" attitude and start putting our foot down when it comes to certain kinds of behaviour.

What kind of person gets into a relationship and then expects their partner to be okay with watching them fuck other men? What if this wasn't a girlfriend but a wife? What if this was a marriage of 15 years with a kid involved?

We need to start asking ourselves some serious questions if there are people out there who can even consider this ok.

PM_ME_YOUR__BOOTY 2

So if she has a sexual fantasy she needs to act on she is selfish but if he denies it that isnt.

Got it. Very fair... how about those two simply dont fit?

If she wants kids and he doesnt she doessnt respect his feelings either?

MaelstromGonzalez90 2

Would it be reasonable for me to not want to be with a woman who wants to have a train ran on her ?

uncreative_name_7 3

Of course! That is your choice. But make sure you express that in a more polite way when establishing a relationship.

NaitouTan 1

Why is justification not needed in this case?

belongbetruebeyou 24

I’d say the same reason why the gf doesn’t need to justify making her fantasy a reality. That’s what she wants to do. He doesn’t want to participate in something like that.

There has to be mutual understanding and respect for a relationship to take place. They’ve reached a place where she’s going to do it and he doesn’t like it.

Sexual fidelity is an important part of a relationship. He wants to be monogamous. She doesn’t. That’s a major issue the relationship might not survive.

Sleepy1997 1

I agree with this.

CoffeeFirst1993 1

Came to say this but the opposite. If you ate unwilling to help her with her sexual fantasies then that may be a non negotiable for her as well.

TroyE2323 1

This is the realist shit I've read in awhile.

tRu3_sKiTz0 0

Or they are called boundaries.

A boundary is as simple as a flavor of ice cream you prefer.

Likes and dislikes, these are simply boundaries.

It sounds like maybe her boundary is she needs kink to be fulfilled.

This doesn't mean she disrespects you.

But it does sound like your boundaries are apposed and if you cannot find a common ground, and be fulfilled while respecting and supporting each other's boundaries, then you are simply not compatible.

Either way, it doesn't like this is the healthiest relationship for either of you.

The good thing is that you both are able to communicate this and no one is stepping out to get their needs met.

Time to have a difficult conversation.

uncreative_name_7 -2

Thank you for mansplaining me my comment, but worse.

tRu3_sKiTz0 2

My comment was not for you.

I want mansplaining anything, to you or to the OP.

My point is that it may not be "non-negotiable" and it doesn't mean that OP is being disrespected.

That's all.

I just find that vernacular to be dangerous ground.

EDIT: I may have missed a paragraph in your comment. My apologies. I went back and re-read it and I guess what I said wasn't that much different.

anonballs

Can we just talk about how fucking insane and manipulative it is to tell your boyfriend he doesn't love you if he doesn't want you to gangbang 2 other dudes...?

The-Entropic-Man 2715

Walketh the fucketh out

dev0guy 456

Yea, before the gang bangeth. For before you lie two paths, both leading to ruin. But one of these paths promises ruin quick, the other ruin with imagery most foul.

Vandergrif 114

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of random dudes dicking my girl at the same time, I shall fear no evil, for I said "fuck that" and broke up with her instead.

grahamcrackers37 17

I would give you all the coin I have sir, had I any.

Vandergrif 10

It's the thought that counts.

That, and the useless internet points.

kirbythad 3

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of cock, I take a look at my girl and realize there’s no hole left

Murder_Ders 39

This made me think. I mean how often do you get to see a gang bang up close right? Why not stick around long enough to watch it before you get out of dodge. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Mephostophelus 51

Why not stick around long enough to watch it before you get out of dodge. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

I think I'll pass on that, thanks.

morahofjormont 24

Yeah that would be incredibly hurtful and traumatic if he cares for her. Even though I'm sure he is already hurt. I would be.

Scotch_Brains 47

Sure, except when you have feelings for her.

was-not-me 34

Most guys wouldn't want to see the person they love getting gangbanged

Furious_George44

But now she’s offered him to join as well (how generous of her!). I only had one long term serious relationship when I was younger before meeting my now wife, but if I think looking back to it I’m not sure it would have really made breaking up that much harder, maybe it’d even help expedite the change of the mind’s view from “love of my life” to “person I really don’t like” that I think is often necessary for a breakup.

It’s a once in a lifetime chance.. idk might be worth it

KintsugiExp 23

You are dismissing his emotional/personal reasons for not having that line crossed with the object of his love and affection, which is exactly what she is doing.

You suggestion makes no sense.

TheConqueress 1

Pretty sure it’s a joke

KintsugiExp

Pretty sure OP doesn’t think so.

corgi_orgie 16

I would never want to see the person I love do something like that. I don’t care if it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity there’s some lines you just don’t cross

system-user 3

It's not a once in a lifetime situation if he stays with her. It's not even one in general... you just have to be into that kind of thing and seek it out.

Maybe it's a once in a lifetime situation to have someone you love get a train pulled on them but that's just not something most people want in their lives.

Akoiyei 66

Omg i loveth this

mrln9404 46

I'm typing this from hell because this comment got me dead

puppetpauperpirate 35

Hahahahaha

Gzorax 12

Best advice you could get here @op

dabull32 9

Outheth

Sleepy1997 4

I secondeth this.

aberkek 2

Apologies for my ignorance but i didnt get it can i have an explaination...

If you break up she can do it all she wants. Show her you care and are not possessive by leaving

ryeshoes 1066

lol

"why are you mad? now you can have that gangbang you always wanted!"

ViridianHD 121

Upvoting for visibility. This is too good not to be unseen.

9554503312 30

"why are you mad? now you can have that gangbang you always deserved!"

YeOldeVertiformCity 44

Yeah. Some relationship issues you can talk through and some you can’t.

If you stay and “talk her out of it” you’ll still end up with the kind of break up that requires you to take antibiotics.

Cutie-McBootie 25

“Show her you care” I CANT BREATHE ITS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I LOVE IT

martyrcorpus 8

OOF

mutema 850

Walk.

cattinthehatt 656

Run.

yeetmedaddy2018 519

Sprint

MightyMadara97 292

Zoom

T0BBER 190

Gallop like Shadowfax

skrulewi 134

Show us the meaning of haste.

Phorphias 73

Do the skidaddle

SolarStorm2950 80

Skiddadle skidoodle, his girlfriend wants more than just his noodle

GingerSnapBiscuit 30

trumpets

BlueDillyDilly 21

Verb

TOV_VOT 13

If I wasn’t a mobile user I would have gilded this, RIP reddit

CHlVE 4

Same but im poor on top of that lol

DidiFrank 4

Show her the meaning....of being loneeellaayyy

goatsngaming 2

Yeet her straight out the window

corgi_orgie 1

I need to watch those again

FightPretty 45

Show me the Carfax

lostinthesauce314 30

5 major accidents, 19 previous owners

100kUpvotesOrBust 10

In 2017.

UgandanPrinc3 25

Run from it. Better future relationships still arrives..

AvaDestruction 25

Dash from that trash

OJazairi 19

Erase the thot from thought

evrfknusrnmeistkn 9

Dreat it, run from it. Destiny arrives all the same.

NothappyJane 18

Run Barry Run

TiramisuMochi 11

Fly like an eagle

ronruckle 1

To the sea

the_thunderdownunder 8

Enhance & Rotate

isaystupidthingssrry 6

Zip

blueboy1980 3

Catch a plane

cobalt503 2

Care

Fenzik 1

Bop it

tmnt88 1

Zooma-zooma-zoom-a- ZOOM!

144p_Meme_Senpai 20

Shift + W away from that shit

jercky 13

I am the Flash.

Become the Flash.

Juuzen 2

I was waiting for this comment

menguinponkey 2

A-aahh! Saviour of the universe!

MineralPlunder 2

quaff Swiftness II and ctrl+w

spicymangoslice 2

AT&T

sarhan182 3

Subscribe to Pewdiepie

kkiiimmmm86 3

Control+alt+delete

cobalt503 1

Verizon

AKS1664 1

Flee

CHlVE 1

Get a rocketship

Vilgefortz20 6

Learn to fly

ray2128 1

Dread it.

EthanC5512 15

Hotel? Trivago

ZestycloseLength6 12

RE-SPECT

​

​

WALK

Kerriganszergheels 2

NO WAY PUNK

chachachadiablo 7

scamper on to greater things like a mountain pony chasing a goat down a waterfall

xfitveganflatearth 2

Mince

MGTOWtoday 2

Run, Forest! Run!

kiddayee 1

Fly.

Obi-TazKenobi 1

Become the goddess of speed! And use it

arientyse 1

Haul Ass.

LastLostDuck 1

Like a man.

Squeezebreeze 1

Sprint. 😂😂

georeddit2018 1

Skate the fuck out!

Nickpimpslap 828

"I want to be gangbanged but my lame-o boyfriend isn't cool with it! Can you even imagine his selfish desire to not be cuckolded!?"

It almost sounds selfish and unreasonable when I put it that way.

9Chuox0 166

It almost sounds as I don't know, as if it was... Fake???

Abortivora 78

Don't underestimate stupid

Hiking_Joe_White 15

its fake read his account history its all pewdiepie shit and him asking girls for nudes, op is 14 years old

MrTeddyFTW 4

Actually I’m 17, she’s 18’ so shhhh

anonballs 2

If it's real he's a bitch for even waffling over this, and the girl knows he's a bitch and is snickering to herself, knowing that she's really about to convince him to watch her get gangbanged by other dudes. And he's not even into being cuckolded. What. The. Fuck.

I personally think she has a power fetish and is testing the limits of her power over him. It would probably emasculate him to the point of destroying his sense of masculinity, and then she wouldn't even like him as much anymore and leave. And/or she'll probably break up with him for "letting her do it". I've seen a lot of shit happen to people in toxic relationships. If this isn't the way it plays out I'd be shocked.

If it's real hes a bitch for even waffling over this, and the girl knows hes a bitch and is snickering to herself, knowing that shes really about to convince him to watch her get gangbanged by other dudes.

envisionandme 573

Dump her

rattamahatta 70

She dumped him the moment she proposed this in a serious manner.

tomycatomy 32

No, she dumped him the moment she said he was possessive for not letting her

OverallGolf 427

She's equating you having reasonable boundaries to being "possessive."

You not letting her hang out with guy friends is possessive.

You being paranoid about her cheating and going through her phone is possessive.

You being uncomfortable with her spending so much time with her friends is possessive.

You not wanting to watch her being fucked by mad dudes is not possessive. That's just...regular.

​

If she can't see that, I promise you that you're going to encounter way more problems later on in the relationship, so just leave right now while it's easiest.

Smokeya 260 S

Personally, this exact situation often leads to those situations.

If my wife said something to me like im being possessive because i dont want her to be in a gangbang, id be quite fucking paranoid she was already planning one which would lead to me not wanting her to have male friends that are more than likely at least two of them going to be the gangbangers, wanting to look at her phone and likely spending less time with whatever friends she was spending time with before who she probably told this to and they let her think that was a good idea to say to me.

Normally not one to say dump/leave in here but this is one of those occasions where its a gtfo situation. The flags arent just red, they are the size of a small country and waving boldly.

Its one thing to have a fantasy of being in a gangbang and running that by your SO and seeing if they maybe want to try that out, whole completely different level of being like im gonna have one and your kinda a dick for not letting me basically.

spicymangoslice 46

Great point brought up here

Squeezebreeze 3

Exactly how my marraige ended. Words put precisely accurate, listen to this guy, he knows what is up.

SillyEnthusiasm 3

If you don't want your partner being possessive, don't have a partner. Part of the package is mutual possession (exclusivity). If you don't want that, don't have a partner.

It's like people think they don't have to give things up for partnership and monogamy. There are costs.

Mr-Molester 1

Is it being possessive if 1.) She lied about hooking up with someone, causing you to lose your trust and close the relationship. 2.) Being uncomfortable with her hanging out all the time with one of two guys from tinder. 3.) seeing her text someone, at 3AM saying I wish my boyfriend wasn’t here, and then checking her phone because of that?

tastyburps 1

You not wanting to watch her being fucked by mad dudes is not possessive. That's just...regular.

Uhh…..I believe the correct term is cisbanged.

ricoue -2

Its a slippery slope. Many years ago even excessive hanging out with guy friends would not have been considered okay and the boyfriend would've been perfectly justified in being suspicious of such a woman. Today, we have come far enough that we don't start asking questions until the woman comes out and states she wants to sleep with other men.

10 years from now its gonna be even worse, people would be told they're control freaks if they're not okay with licking other men's semen out of their wife's vagina.

We need to arrest the decline before its too late.

redditlockmeout4700 -14

Guy friends lead to cheating , i dont let my s/o text any males for that reason. And she doesnt let me text female friends, its kind of a mutual thing. but i agree

TheOofGuy_

Oof

memymomeddit 284

What do you care if your ex wants to get gangbanged?

DeathRebirth 33

The best answer

grovelmd 200

Please tell me why are you even asking?

iggaguy 174

Because it's fake.

DrRodo 30

I can feel the smell too... hmmm sniff sniff

f1sh_ 10

That smelly smell..that smells...smelly..

Klownzilla91 10

I think you're smelling the gang bang.

Campylobacteraceae 1

Honestly don’t understand why anybody cares if posts like this are fake, good points were brought up in the comments, entertaining and informative thread about how to treat any situation like this, op got their karma if they really care that much about it and all is well

RetiredATLATC 165

She's not all there. Leave her.

Squeezebreeze 1

She sounds like an underdeveloped highschool kid, maturity wise.

Donthavethekey 128

Id say obvious troll if there weren’t actual people who posted similar stuff on here before.

tylmin 35

Dear Reddit, I don't need any advice, but if I tell you this story that has to do with a cheating girlfriend/wife, will you upvote it to the top of the subreddit anyway?

Sincerely, OP.

ButterFromTheUdder 59

WTF? Leave her assss

FraterPoliphilo 56

That is a really crappy and manipulative thing for her to say. It is the opposite of how you were supposed to negotiate according to BDSM protocols. she is trying to pressure you into doing something that you are uncomfortable with him that is one of the most fundamental no nos. She has demonstrated that your heart is not safe in her hands.

sealedangel 53

Can I sleep with someone else?

No.

Why? You don’t love me?

Dude seriously why you even need help on this is beyond me.

Sake99 1

that was common sense. When you madly love someone, you stop loving yourself.

Fr3yd3 40

I do not know what kind of help you wanted though? Are you ok with gang bangs? Have you been in one? Have you seen one like from start to finish?

If you ask me, this whole endeavor is out of my periphery as acceptable. I cannot for the love of me condone it nor suggest it.

I have seen it three times in my college days, and I had to tell ya that it was tough seeing it and tougher un-seeing it, but some peeps are made tougher, so whatever floats your boat.

Good luck.

RudditorTooRude 1

Wow, you saw it and did nothing to stop it?3 Times?

OldTometa 27

Assuming that all parties involved were consenting adults, why the fuck should he? They’re not hurting anybody. The man can just walk out of the room if he didn’t like it.

KVirello 1

Not wanting to see your partner fucking other people is completely normal

OldTometa 3

The way I interpreted that comment was that he saw three gangbangs. There’s no mention of him having a partner.

krystalBaltimore 27

Hahaha!! Why would he stop it??!

Hey guys, you shouldn't do that!! Don't put your mouth there!! That is SO unhygenic!! Guys!! Do i need to call your parents??!

And you didnt stop it... even though you didnt consensually care for it...

TroublesUpMill 1

"Gang-bangers gonna gang-bang."

- Ghandi

Squeezebreeze 1

Ghandi was a fucking beta boy

ryeshoes 29

I wouldn't jump to dumping her, but if she persists in seriously pursuing this, I would then do so.

Advice for you is to tell her adamantly that this is not okay and [insert your consequences here] - whether it's breaking up or something else, you then need to make sure you follow through.

note: My (now ex, was gf at the time) wanted to bring home a girl from the bar to fool around with, but I would only be allowed to watch. I also was uncomfortable with this and expressed it to her many times and felt it didn't go anywhere. Eventually, I asked her how it would feel if I went to a bar with her, brought another girl home and we had sex and I let her watch. That sort of got her to realize what's up.

Maybe do that - suggest that she allow you to bring home two escorts for a threesome. She's allowed to watch, and that it is an act of love that she accept this.

kevin_r13 7

The concern is that , if he stays with her, she may still engage in this behavior without his knowledge. Then when he finds out and has been with her even longer, the mistrust and unfaithfulness will hurt even more.

powderline 3

How about all of the clap and worse that will show up?

yeetmedaddy2018 -1

This is the best response op ^

wateroclock 14

That’s not. If your partner says they want to fuck other people, breaking up on the spot is the best way to deal with it. So just that, OP, she not only wants to fuck others, but to humiliate you as well, and that’s just fucked up.

spicymangoslice 2

Exactly, don’t over complicated with silly “if I do this then this” blah blah blah. Be direct and clear on your emotions and how she reacts is her choice, from there you decide how you want to react

TriRepeate 26

"accept her" and "you are too possessive" are the worst arguments in nowadays relationships, because you can say this about every problem in a relationship. She probably has strange sexual needs, you should let her do what she wants but with the condition that every action has a reaction.

Sparky831831 25

Op, say yes but only if you can have a gangbang with a bunch of girls first and she has to set it up.

That way you win.

Worst case you get a gangbang with a bunch of chicks. Best case she can’t but sees that as fair and gets over it.

Xyeles 11

Make sure you get the female gangbang first and then dump her ass before she ever gets to do hers.

Sorry OP but you gotta run, chance is even if you sort this out now it will come up again or she will do it behind your back. If she didn’t drop it right away it’s almost a guarantee one of the two will happen.

johnboyjr29 -4

Where does a guy find a group of women that are willing to rape him?

Tb0neguy 4

Gangbang doesn't imply lack of consent. It just means a lot of people all fucking one person.

d-peep 24

Oh no say it ain't soooooooo...

Drop this thot

spicymangoslice 3

T H O T

XLDoormat 23

Time to dump her...seriously dude.

LeasonsLearned1994 23

Fuck that. She’s nuts RUNN!!!

son_nequitur 20

Peoples' sexualities are different.

Hers involves fucking other guys in front of her partner.

Some people are into that.

You are not.

If you want to have a sexual long term partnership, your sexualities need to be compatible.

Otherwise you might as well be dating a gay dude.

TriRepeate 8

" Peoples' sexualities ", do you mean, some people are fucked in the head and they want to be accepted by the society ?

BackgroundProgress08 2

Yeah it’s weird how some backwards stuff like this is just accepted as a “preference” like wtf

Tjurit 4

Why shouldn't it be? They're not hurting anyone and if all parties are consenting and have a good time, let em at it.

EstherPearl 18

I dated someone who did something similar. She wanted to be in an open relationship... I didn’t. Every time I expressed discomfort at her wanting to be in a relationship with other people, or spoke to me about how sexy someone else was and how she wanted to bang them- she just called me insecure and possessive. It’s not. I decided to let this person continue acting like this and I even ended up convincing myself that I was okay with it. It did not end well. I definitely lost a part of myself to that relationship and it took a lot of time to get that back. If you want someone to be monogamously committed to you- that’s a completely valid desire. You’re not needy or possessive or insecure. Don’t let her walk all over you. If you love her and want to make things work- then talk to her. Make it very clear the type of relationship you want with her. And if she doesn’t respect that- then she’s not the one. It will hurt- but the right person for you is out there.

MrTeddyFTW 7

This is very helpful my dude. She’s definitely more open then I am. I appreciate the advice.

fashiondollxx 17

Watch her do it then dump her

Ryan_from_Arkansas 4

Actually this is probably the best advice.

SaggedBag 7

Why?

Ryan_from_Arkansas 33

Because you’ll never forget it and be able to move on a lot faster. Unless you’re into watching your girl get plowed by strangers en masse, but you aren’t, or you wouldn’t have posted this.

Edit: I need to clarify the above is sarcasm.

The real answer is: You need to walk away and cut it off cleanly if you aren’t comfortable. You don’t need to clean up a bunch of dudes’ man residue off your floor to prove you aren’t possessive. That’s crazy.

The real answer is: You need to walk away and cut it off cleanly if you aren’t comfortable. You don’t need to clean up a bunch of dudes’ man residue off your floor to prove you aren’t possessive. There crazy.

CHlVE 1

Why didnt you /s?

popsiclemonday 15

Oh my god dump her. What a piece of human garbage. She might have qualities about her that are great but nothing large enough to cover up the glaring emptiness insider her soul that fuels her to desire this & express it to you.

Justyouraveragebasic -2

It’s as simple as their sexualities and desires not being compatible. She’s not garbage for wanting to be in a gang bang, she’s just obviously not the right person for OP. Damn people have some perspective

hyperion660 6

She’s not garbage for wanting to be in a gang bang, she’s just obviously not the right person for OP.

She's not garbage for that. She's garbage hoe for wanting to be in a gangbang while in a exclusive relationship. Only extreme betas are into that, can't figure out for the life of me how any mildly normal guy would be okay with watching his girl get plowed in all her holes by a bunch of strangers.

Justyouraveragebasic 4

It doesn’t matter if you can imagine it, for some relationships that’s what works. Again, she’s not garbage for wanting it and she’s not garbage for making her desires known. OP isn’t a bad person for ending the relationship over it either. No one is a bad person in this situation. If she broke a promise, lied, cheated, etc then that would be a different scenario, but that’s not what happened so who are you to judge the sexual desires and fantasies of others? Get over yourself.

thatguyuknow53 1

She is garbage for trying to guilt trip him into it. That is manipulative af. I would never try to guilt trip someone into a sexual act. Especially if I was in a relationship and it involved another person. Guy: “Hey babe I want to fuck, this girl in front of you and feel free to join”
Girl: “I am not comfortable with that and will not take part, I love you but I can’t be with you if you want to sleep with other people”
Guy: “You’re controlling and possessive if you loved me you would let me fuck this girl in front of you. Get over your insecurities.”
Do you see the fuckery now that I have switched the roles.

hyperion660 -2

Get over yourself.

Do you realize different people have different standarts and morals? It's ok to you so I respect that. You suggesting that my own view point is wrong is honestly childish and immature. Grow up.

And yes, our fantasies and dreams tells us a lot about other people.

Justyouraveragebasic 1

You don’t respect that at all. You literally called her a garbage person. How is that respectful?

Cheating requires both a broken agreement and lying. She came forward to him about her desires with full honesty. He has a chance to be honest about his feelings in return and decide if continuing the relationship is the right choice for him without experiencing deceit or betrayal. If, at the end of the day, they simply do not want the same things that doesn’t make either of them bad people. It just means they aren’t right for each other.

theone899 4

She is asking if she can sleep with other people. It's over. If he has any respect for himself, he leaves. She's asking him if she can get fucked by other people and have him watch, that's ultimate disrespect. Anyone who upvotes you or agrees with you is an idiot.

Justyouraveragebasic 1

I would understand if that meant it was over for a lot of people. It seems pretty clear that it is for OP. But that doesn’t mean if someone else was okay with it or any level of into it that they don’t have respect for themselves. It also doesn’t mean that OP’s girlfriend doesn’t have self-respect for asking. And if she feels that OP not feeling comfortable with it is too possessive by her standards then it sounds like she should make the decision to leave as much as OP should. Just because these two have wildly different standards doesn’t mean either them lack self-respect for having/expressing them

WaterySphere

She has lack of self respect for herself. She is malformed and disgusting. I wouldn't ever associate with someone like this casually, romantically, or if they were homeless on the streets.

I wouldn't piss on her to put out a fire. She is damaged and I would never have a conversation with this person if I knew what they did irl. I would visibly show them disgust and walk away even if they were taking my order at a restaurant.

She is damaged and disgusting. Her new lovers after she "settles" down will be making posts in this sub reddit "my 5 yr gf liked to get gangbanged how do I leave?"

I highly doubt she will so willingly express these beliefs to new suitors. Past isnt the past and is a very clear indicator of someone's future.

She is used goods. Sorry the truth is that harsh. Every male that dates her will get lambasted by their buddies if they find out she had gangbangs and trains on her just "because fantasy lul" I would personally mock my best friend to his face if he brought that home for more than 1 refractory period.

Shes already have people picked out if they are setting up a date/asking OP. Are you a fool or just neive?

Cyb0rgasmm 5

She's garbage for being manipulative. Get some perspective for yourself.

Offended_by_Words

She’s not garbage for wanting to be in a gang bang

You're right, she's a slut.

03slampig 14

Yeah this relationship is over.

RA_ManInHisPrime 14

No.

andrew-prinn 14

That's some pretty extreme shit. I think you should leave. She might just end up doing it behind your back. major yikes

If you ever even speak to her again, you have failed. Ghost her immediately or wind up having her email you the video. This about possession. Her wanting to possess you. She cannot see the irony because she is sick.

Her pressuring you on this is just as awful as a man pressuring a woman against her will to have sex. It is abusive and she is evil.

kollaps3 9

This sounds like borderline gaslighting and mayyyybe even emotional abuse. Leave this girl before you get in any deeper (oof, shitty pun not intended haha).

I know this is the general advice a good 75%+ of all the posts on this sub get, but I'm not just giving you the generic response here. The fact that she would go on to say she's going to do this regardless of your feelings is going to be her same reaction to any of your boundaries here on going forward. This is not something you want in a partner. And I'm a female, and let me tell you- you not wanting your girlfriend to get fucking GANGBANGED is not possessive whatsoever. In fact it's pretty damn normal. If this is so important to her, she can find a dude to be with who also enjoys this as a fetish. Don't let her use some bullshit guise of misogyny to lead you to believe any of this is okay. It isn't.

MrTeddyFTW 5

Very good advice my dude, I appreciate it.

fakeacct786 9

Where can I sign up? Also, some dudes are into it and some are not. Clearly you're not into it. That should help you with your next step. Don't overcomplicate things.

Scotch_Brains 1

Also, some dudes are into it and some are not.

Does it really work that way? If you are single and don't know the girl you might be into it. But a bunch of guys running a train on the mother of your kids... less guys will be cool with that.

srirachamayo123 8

Oh, i first read "my girlfriend wants to be in a Gang without me" but then it All turned around...

BlackBoxInquiry 5

Nope, not so much as a reach-around.

This guy needs to bolt.

SunsetOracle 8

These troll posts are something else

AnAssholeThatsHonest 1

Lol

perhapsnew 8

What should I do

Like a pile of garbage off she go. Dump her and block everywhere.

joseph95M 8

There is no difference between your girlfriend and a whore (sorry for that!). This kind of wish cannot be tolerated and you can't build a family on a strong basis. I really suggest you leave your girlfriend and find another one who has dignity, morality, love, and loyalty to her husband or partner. I can't understand why people taking such a dream so normal. This is not normal, it is quite abnormal.

boomboxpinata 2

whore is a good way to put it, yes

hxs214 1

sometimes when im feeling a little too blindly optimistic about the world, i sort by controversial on posts like this and am reminded that there are still sad men who believe women who want anything but monogamous, vanilla sex are whores. thanks for the reality check

LiveBuyer 8

Let your Ex Girlfriend do it. Who cares.

Matt_Kimball 7

Assuming this story is even real, You have already stated that you are not comfortable with being a part and it seems pretty clear this isn't your kind of thing to begin with, so the only sound advice is to leave this relationship immediately. There is absolutely nothing good that will come from pretending to be ok with it. This girl clearly is not relationship material. The level of absurdity of her to expect you to be ok with it is simply outrageous. I don't even care if you feel like you love this girl, there is no saving this relationship.

notjustanoption 12

You'd be surprised how messed up people are. My last ex wanted to arrange a gang bang for me and wanted to watch and film strange men having sex with me. It was the by far the creepiest sexual fantasy I have ever encountered and I was accused of being a selfish prude for not doing it! I couldn't get away from that guy fast enough. The weird part was that he was insanely possessive and constantly accused me of cheating or plotting to cheat. Like, what the hell? Sex with strangers from Craigslist is A-Ok, but talking to a friend on the phone is too much to trust?

OP, I agree. She's not relationship material.

Justyouraveragebasic 2

She could be relationship material for someone else. Just not for this OP

PurelyMagik 7

Simple. If my SO ever asked to do that, and didn't respect me not being okay with that, I'd separate.

RocknR0IIa 7

Is this trolling ? 😅

juffin_halli 7

Man, just dump here without negotiating.

carrie-22 6

That’s ridiculous and manipulative. Break up with her.

qualityKnight 6

If it were me I'd get a real girlfriend instead of waste my time trolling reddit about my fake girlfriend wanting to be in a gang bang as if I would need a group of strangers to tell me what to do about a group of strangers banging my girlfriend.

luv_u_deerly 6

She has a right to be in a gang bang if she wants and you have the right to leave her if she does. Tell her its not possession, its a choice that concerns where your priorities are at. She cares more about her sexual pleasure than your feelings towards the action.

AngelZAni 6

Good troll. I hope...

alex_the_potato 6

You ever heard of a red flag?

Get out like that dude did in the movie. GET OUT!

Tittyminator_Zilla 6

Leave her and find someone without wild fantasies like that because she will kill you in a way of stabbing your heart through bad emotions. Not all people are worth to understand.

aussielander 6

Additional worry is catching something like genital warts. There are going to be a lots of dicks in your gf, sort of people that do gang bangs don't just do one gang bang. So chances of nasty shit is going to be high.

jlm8981victorian 2

Wow, that’s a really good point and probably the most important one! Even with condoms, there’s certain STD’s that wouldn’t be protected like herpes and genital warts. I hope that you’ve been using protection with her or have both been screened before becoming intimate. Just to be on the safe side. Has she done these types of activities before?

giveuptheghostbuster 5

Love is strange. Sometimes you think you’ve found true love, and then you catch the early flight home and 2 weirdos wearing masks pop out of the bathroom like a goddamn freak show.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re not here for the gangbang, let her freak flag fly somewhere else. Preferably before your dock starts peeling.

MrTeddyFTW 2

Lmao thanks

maiagarri 5

What's wrong with people?

Youtoo2 5

Tell her you want to make her watch you bang her mom. Tell her if she refuses she does not love you.

walker4hunnid 5

Hell nah bruh that’s some hoe shit you deserve way better

Stalked_Like_Corn 5

Here's what is going to happen if you stick around.

A.) She's going to be in a gang bang

B.) She won't tell you about it

You can accept that she's going to do this and live with it or you can leave, but she will do it. She, clearly, isn't interested in your consent and won't ask for it in the future.

abick92 5

End the relationship.￼

gangstajoe 5

Lmao is this real?
Fucking dip bro.

Find your self a girl with same values and into the same stuff as you.

CHlVE 1

Username checks out for what shes into

karlailas0 5

Kind of thinking this is a joke :d

plumbtastic76 3

I hope so

allyougoodgoodpeople 5

You’ll never be able to unsee it.

Vatrano 5

I’m not going to sugar coat this at all for you bud. She’s a hoor and will cheat on you at some point if you stay with her. Get out now and be glad you found out sooner rather than later. Best of luck

I’m not going to sugar coat this at all for you bud. She’s a hoor and will cheat on you at some point if you stay with her. Get out now and be glad you found out sooner rather than later. Best of luck

WavySilverSurfer 4

I also want to be a pimp that smashes everynight but my fantasy is just that, a fantasy.

Lokfuhrer 4

Nice troll. I’d let her set it up and ensure her parents show up 10 minutes in. Surprise!

gavinschranz 4

Just read over what you just wrote. Maybe you'll see what we're seeing

redditlockmeout4700 4

If my girlfriend asked me that question i would leave her. Its all about your self respect and what youre into, if you dont like the fact that shit will be having sex with multiple men while you are in a relationship, then shut her down. And she sounds manipulate by saying your possesive when youre just having self respect

platinum-python 4

Get the fuck out before shit hits the fan. This relationship would be toxic for you in the later run.

Tb0neguy 4

Something I've noticed people aren't really mentioning is how manipulative she is being. Saying that you're too possessive due to reasonable terms? She's trying to guilt you into letting her do it, and that never turns out well.

Furthermore, it seems like this is going to happen whether you want it to or not. And if she's really into that, and you're not, then you are not sexually compatible.

For those reasons, I would say that staying in the relationship may cause more damage than ending it.

TonytheNetworker 2

Wish I could upvote 100 more times. This is some real guilt tripping and emotional abuse that she's using on him. That alone is a red flag to reconsider the relationship.

gravvs 1

It’s because he’s really obviously lying.

funfu 4

this is certainty not a partner you can plan a long term relationship with. She is immature, inconsiderate and an STD-vector.
You must avoid all that in a partner.

spearobrendo 4

Disgusting. Dump her in the trash.

s0ftbl00d 4

Just tell her, In the infamous words of Meatloaf - “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

EbonyWhist 4

Dump her. This has nothing to do with love and everything to do with her being selfish and getting off on hurting you. She’s being sadistic and gets off on your hurt feelings. Leave before she does it anyway.

Up-The-Butt_Jesus 4

she is not your gf

dump the whore

molten_dragon 3

Sounds like you should be in a relationship without her. You two clearly want different things, and it sounds like she wants a gangbang more than she wants to be with you.

You've already told her you don't want it to happen and she doesn't care. If she agrees not to at this point, could you ever really trust that she hasn't gone out and done it behind your back?

Easypickens13 3

Dump that slut!!!!

zoomzoom42 3

Tell her that her reasoning is an act of manipulation.

LodayNaram 3

Dump her. She's expressed she wants other men

icky-chu 3

You didn't mention ages and it might be necessary here. The difference between being young and move on, it likely wouldn't last anyway, or this woman needs therapy. Either way if this discussion has lasted more than a few days then your values are very different and you might as well pack it in.

CakeOfDarkness 3

Her wanting you to watch her be in a gang bang is also a display of ownership over you. Pretty selfish if you ask me.

fd0263 3

Honestly I’d dump my gf halfway into suggesting that, that’s fucked

alexisanalien 3

Thats a no from me, steve.

Kharma_Killz 3

I have a friend that was married and unhappy in the bedroom. She decided she would "try" the gang bang and got her husband on board. He backed out while in the room, but she didn't.

Can she really back out? Haha

She had a blast...

Side note: They divorced this year(so much for 12 years of marriage) and she's looking for someone that doesn't know that side of her. Poor idiots.

UltraBunnyBoostST 3

Leave. She’s dead set on doing this with or without you. Let her have it...WITHOUT YOU.

Step 4. With a bellowing howl forcefully eject copious streams of molten diarrhea all over her bed. Extra points if you twerk while you squirt.

Step 5. Blame it on her cat.

Step 6. Break up with her.

Step 7. Have a nice day.

OrnithologicalFoam 3

Leave her. Making you watch a train of other men have sex with her is a shitty thing to do if that's a hard limit for you, which is very much the case here. It's not you who doesn't respect her, it's her who doesn't respect YOU.

PmMeAmazonCodesPlz 1

I say run that train, then dump her, choo choo muther fuckers!!!

WhatsUpMyDuders 3

I say you leave her, that's just straight up disrespectful. I think you should arrange this farewell by collecting numbers of dudes interested in being part of this gang bang. You can start with mine, its (414)...........

Shebebutlittle7 3

Well, regardless of your spiritual beliefs, sex is intimate in a way that, in most opinions, shouldn´t be shared. Even when people think it is a good idea at first... it almost always leads to jealousy and a relationship break down.

Let her pick one. That or you. If she picks that... you are better off. I cannot imagine wanting another man to touch me if I was in a committed relationship. Just disrespectful to you. Sheś using calling you ¨possesive¨ to get her way. Possessive is ¨You can´t wear that dress.¨ Not ¨You can´t cheat on me.¨

FroggyMcnasty 5

Too much work. OP needs to dump her.

She already chose to begin manipulating him into it. She is simply a piece of garbage and not worth anyone's time.

terminal8 3

Sounds like a fake story written by an incel to make a "point."

MrTeddyFTW 6

???

ConceptualisticGob 3

Fake af

Circdefroze 3

Cut that hoe off

StuddersCronkite 3

Will she let you fuck a group of girls in front of her.

happymoo0 3

Ask her if she would do this without protection.

madpandaswag 3

How do you even organize a gang bang?

annbeagnach 3

Tell her you want to have sex with another woman without her being around

See what she says then

If you want a monogamous relationship - you best let this relationship die

Souljaleonn 3

Skeptical about this being real but it sounds like she’s already got everything planned she just wants you watching so it’s not cheating.

Super manipulative of her to call you possessive for not wanting it, you should ask her how she’d feel if she had to watch you with a load of girls

BaDAJent 3

So this is actually a common topic that many relationships occur. So long as you are not 100% comfortable with it, I recommend you do not go through with it. If you have even just 99% comfortable with it, that 1% could destroy your relatiomnship.

​

Is your reaction a form possession? Yes. As we are human in nature we are possesive. However this form of possession is not necessarily the bad kind. It is caused because your relationship is you and your partner emotions, body, etc to this one individual alone, and in the same respect you are expecting them to do the same. By involving others in one of these areas you are personally giving up a small part of that mutual possession. She may not percieve it that way, but if you both care about your relationship there needs to be some common ground met.

​

As far a sexual fantasies, I personally have a similar fantasy (not to the level of gang-bang though). When I opened to my wife 6 years ago about it, and her response at that time was an avid "NO. Absolutely not!". From there we comprimised that she would keep an open mind, and I would not force the issues. Every now and then we would talk bout it, but never went though. Eventually she did open up to the idea and after following through our relationship grew stronger. This occured not because she did it to make me "happy" or to just meet my sexual fantasy, but instead because she eventually opened to the idea on her own. In the same respect I am more open to her fantasies.

​

Big take away though, discuss this with her, and make sure you lay it all out. Don't follow through unless you are 100% certain you will be ok with it, and don't fall for the guild trip with "possession". To build your relationship stronger you both need to be on board, and who knows maybe you will open to the idea eventually. (not guaranteed). However, make sure you establish if this is a deal breaker for her, or if it is a deal breaker for you then you need to end that relationship because you both drag each other down.

collectiveManiOS 3

She doesn't respect you. If she ever respected you she would never bring up such an idea, let alone insist on it. It doesn't matter what you say to her. She's gonna get her wish fulfilled if she wants it.

Chongalulu 3

Serious difference in your values. Diseases going to happen in her genitals because she is not going to stop with this. She is fantasizing about being desirable. And not just desired by you.

Tenacious_Stag 3

If her argument is that your refusal to watch her get spitroasted is an act of possession, then yours should be that her refusal to consider your feelings is an act of selfishness. She doesn't have the moral high ground here and you shouldn't fold to her guilt tripping. A relationship is supposed to be built on compromises and it doesn't appear like she's willing to do so. The combination of watching too much cuckolding porn and a twisted idea of love has done irreversible damage to her. If you let her get gangbanged, then she'll want it more regularly. If it doesn't happen, then there's a chance she'll act out on her fantasy without your consent. If you're not comfortable with the idea of other men shoving their meat into every orifice of her body while you watch, then you should leave her because that fantasy will kill your relationship at one point or another.

paloumbo 2

Tell her a real proof of love would to be don't do it, but to allow you to have you reversed gang bang.

homeless_knight 2

Tell her you won't change your mind about it because it damage your relationship way too much. If she can't get behind your feelings then maybe she's the controlling one and you need to take a walk.

blueboy1980 2

You need to figure out if it's healthy for you to stay in a relationship like this. Wrong on so many levels. She claims it's an act of possession?! No no no. If anything it's more of a disrespectful act towards you. This is a hint that she's a bullet. Dodge it.

legsuptothere 2

Don't you wonder what sort of psychological issues she has that would make her desire such a thing?

mitchellbrunner1 2

I think there are plenty of fish in the sea

SkoomaThief 2

21f here.
She doesn’t know what love is, then. Sounds like she wants to be a hoe while being with you, and she thought asking you if letting her be a hoe would be okay despite you not being involved.

That’s honestly revolting.

She can be single and gangbang all she wants because that’s fucking nasty. Go find someone who truly knows what love is, because that AINT IT CHIEF

Fanatical-Woodchuck 2

You better run better run...

Ikbenaanhetwerkhoor 2

Outrun my cum

lauramwah 2

Claiming you are being possesive because you don't wanna watch her fuck meriade of blokes is an insult to anyone who's ever had someone possessive in their lives. I'd walk the fuck away from that crazy very quickly, ye deserve someone who respects your boundries (which are totally Normal in this case anyways)

niveabrother 2

Bro, are you trolling us? This is unreal to hear. Sorry dude. This sub is right. Walk, run, Sprint.

Hoosierdaddy1964 2

She's still your gf why???

Squeezebreeze 2

My ex wife of 4 years ended our marriage this way. Told me she wanted to go and dick all these random dudes, wanted to be a crazy girl, and party. And asked me to wait for her.

I bounced, definitely should consider. The hardest park of a breakup with the person you love is 31 days of heartbreaking pain. After that, you're Gucci golden.

Gagojwz 2

Dump this hoe , bro. Can’t believe you come to reddit and ask what to do. If my gf would say something like that to me i would say: alright go ahead u dumb slut we are done, lol

pfunnk14 2

Find all the guys for the gangbang on reddit. She'll change her mind.

PAGA_Official 2

Drop her like hot coals! Let her get gang banned when she’s single and find someone who is into the same stuff as you.

mrsratchet9000 2

There’s the right guy out there somewhere for her who would get turned on by this lol ! that guy is not you

guymcguy2323 2

This makes me realize being single ain’t so bad sometimes

Houseoverhype 2

Either you stay and watch her get blacked by 50 wakanda warriors or leave and find a new woman.

nothrowawaythrowawa 2

Wtf, why would you even need to ask this. Run

v650 2

You should just stop with she want's to be in a gang bang. End of story, leave.

mylawyeriscthulhu 2

I'd suggest telling her: "You can do it, sure. I just won't be your boyfriend afterwards."

Throwmeaway5101520 2

I'm not sure what you want. Do you want to be a part of gangbang? Or just don't want her to sleep with other guys?

If you do not want to share her with other guys, then don't. You both are in a relationship so that would be considered as cheating if you do not give her permission to sleep with another guy. She should respect your boundaries. If not, dump her.

If you want to be in a gangbang and you said she offered you to join, then go for it?

MrTeddyFTW 3

So I don’t like the idea of being in a gang bang, just makes me uncomfortable. I also don’t want her fucking any other guys but me. Her argument is that it’s something that she really wants to do, and she offered to include me. So just because I’m not for it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be aloud to do it, because she did want me to be in it. Therefore I’m being possessives for her and preventing her from doing things she wants to do.

Ash1221m1328 2

Well then, since she has always wanted to do it how can you say no? (Eye roll)

Throwmeaway5101520 2

You weren't possessive at all. She said that trying to get you to say yes. I guess you can say she tried to manipulate you. People shouldn't sleep with someone else while they are in a relationship so that is common sense. You don't even give her permission to do that.

MundoGoDisWay 2

Bro, she is nuts. Leave her immediately and explain exactly why.

tntdon 2

Run dude run!

ovrload 2

Find someone more respecting. She clearly has none for you. Grow a pair and leave her.

PetrisCy 2

She is baiting you, she just doesn’t give a fuck about your RS and is messing with you to get whatever she is getting out of it, plus if you guys are fucking other people its not really a relationship, the closest you are to s relationship is an open one.
Ask her if u can fuck other people, if she days no then leave she is just taking advantage of you, if she says yes , then you choose 1) open casual relationship or 2) break up and run. U dont have many options am afraid

Hakuu-san 2

show her you aren't possessive, any rational guy wouldn't want that, tell her how you feel and make her stand in your shoes. If it fails break up and tell her she can now get gang banged all she wants

whymydickitch 2

If she can ask that of you, she already ain’t your girl

nyanyoshi 2

If she goes and does it without your consent, that’s cheating. If she’s fine with being a cheater, she’s unworthy of dating you.

taeoh666 2

Screw that. If she cant respect how you feel, I'd just leave her. 10000% nope for me.

Al1kkk93 2

What a fucking joke

AndreHempadre 2

"However she persists and claims that me not allowing her to do this is not an act of love, but an act of possession."

And this is an act of her being a manipulative little so-and-so.

Ignix_Void 2

Everyone has their own thing but in a relationship both parties must understand eachother and respect eachother. She is immature enough to not understand that. Trust, respect and understanding is the basis of any relationship it should be strong. Try to make her understand this and if it didn't work it's better you leave her before you wound your soul.

complicatedfun 2

Isn't her insisting on doing something that you're clearly not comfortable with also "not an act of love"? There is a reason that people say that being in a relationship sometimes means making sacrifices or making compromises. You can never be 100% on the same level. But there is a fine line between expressing your needs and relentlessly forcing your desires. Don't feel bad for not wanting to do it cause you are clearly stating a boundary. If she doesn't respect that, that's her problem.

iReadyt 2

However she persists and claims that me not allowing her to do this is not an act of love, but an act of possession.

Are you saying "No, I don't want to." Or are you explaining why? Ftr I don't think you should need to explain...but the fact she said that "act of possession bit"... I don't think she sees it from your point of view. Has she ever asked for anything similar? Or this is the first? The request goes against the main point of a relationship - exclusivity - however there are people who flex with this... so this isn't exactly an "abnormal" request by today's standards. If it's not your cup of tea, it's either she respects you or you leave. Imho

Are you saying "No, I don't want to." Or are you explaining why? Ftr I don't think you should need to explain...but the fact she said that "act of possession bit"... i don't think she sees it from your point of view. Has she ever asked for anything similar? Or this is the first? The request goes against the main point of a relationship - exclusivity - however there are people who flex with this... so this isn't exactly an "abnormal" request by today's standards. If it's not your cup of tea, it's either she respects you or you leave. Imho

middle-kid 2

Isn’t that like cheating???

TonytheNetworker 1

It sounds like the girl wants "permission" to cheat and to see if her BF will let her get away with it.

no14now 2

The red flag has been lifted my friend, run.

drlovechild69 2

Dude, even I’m open minded when it comes to relationships and this is fucked up. She’s gotta get railed by multiple men in front of you to prove that you love her? Straight up whore. Downvote me all you want. That’s a whore.

Kwartzhearts 2

Provided this isn't a troll, you should dump her ASAP. She doesn't respect you or care about your feelings, and this is going to happen with or without you, so you should get the fuck away from her.

CatDaddy09 2

NOPE!

ilikesteel 2

Let her know that she's right and you don't possess her anymore.

​

Then she's free to be in as many gang bangs as she wants.

tarandos 2

this is not an act of love, but an act of possession. What should I do

Leave her and possess (love) someone else

Draigdwi 2

You are not compatible.

OpticalJesu5 2

I took damage reading this.

Ash1221m1328 2

This is a no-brainer. Break up. She’ll be free to be passed around as much as she wants.

martyrcorpus 2

I'm pretty sure that this is fake considering Op hasn't responded to a single comment and his post history reflects that he's probably a teenager

TOV_VOT 2

It’s already over dude, move on, you don’t wanna share her and she wants to be passed around like a joint. It’s not going to work and only bring you pain.

That said, I don’t believe this is real 🤷‍♂️

Labeled90 2

She is the one to chose to be committed to you in some sort of publicly recognized relationship which unless otherwise talked about usually assumes monogamy. Her saying that it's you trying to be possessive not being ok with that is either attempted manipulation or she is trying to make you leave her.

Try to talk to her one more time and find out why she wants this. Talk about it. Honestly if it's something you really don't want hearing her side and letting her speak her mind will help you reach a point where you feel more comfortable ending the relationship.

Good luck.

zosma 2

Ex-girlfriend mate, ex.

WhatImTalkimbout 2

Lol if this isnt a troll post your girlfriend is a total whore, leave her. It's not normal for a girl in a relationship to crave being gangbanged.

emeliamiller 2

Leave boy just leave

TonytheNetworker 1

RUN!

algo88 2

Break the fuck up with her

sidso 2

She wants a Gang bang? Wow people really need Jesus lol. Run! You’re not in the wrong. That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard.

jonathansj 2

I thought gangbang is just in porn. Kinda like stuff you see in movie that no way can happen in real life. Didn’t know girls are actually into this kinda thing. I wonder what prompts her to want gangbang all the sudden?

gravvs 2

Would you want to fuck 5 girls at once?

Ivabighairy1 2

It's over, move on. She's going to do it anyways. If you stick around she will not love or respect you. But she will possess you to do with as she pleases.

maybe_one_more_glass 2

Say of course, as long as you get one first.

MrTeddyFTW 2

Lmao

NYCdale 2

If your first reaction was no and not happy with the idea that's not for you, if she forces you to do it it's not right you will lose all your respect for her. From that point on your relationship with be over.

Reinventer317 2

Listen bro... Any female who is that hell bent on being gangbanged while in a committed relationship is unworthy of such relationship. This is a glimpse into what lies ahead. Leave this girl immediately. If u don't she's either a) going to leave you to fulfill this lustful desire if u don't comply or b)stay with u and cheat on you to do it. I know it's going to suck to leave but she's not wifey material bro. Toying with the idea of say a threesome... More common but still a no no in my book but a full fledged Fleshomania match?! That's borderline criminal there. No self respecting woman would even want to do that if she has a man she truly loves and is committed to. Her love and respect for her man wouldn't even allow her to want to share her body with anyone else. Head for the hills my man, it's safer over there.

dynamik_uno 2

GTFO from that hoe

DEMOOH 2

Are you joking?

MrTeddyFTW 2

Nah unfortunately not

zeporscheguy 2

It’s really simple. You consider her having sexual relations with anyone not you, whether it be physical or emotional, as cheating. It’s a hard boundary for you. If she can’t respect that very simple boundary, then you two shouldn’t be together. Why is this even up for debate? Break up.

Andrewbttm 2

Getting into a monotonous relationship is somewhat like an agreement, certain things are expected. Not cheating is expected. Her wanting to get into a gang bang against your wishes is not you being possessive, it’s her wanting to break the agreement due to her own sexual lust. Because she’s incapable of controlling herself and respecting your feelings.

Durpulous 2

Given how much you talk about "fellow 9 year olds" in your post history I'm thinking you're either far too young to be in a gang bang or far too creepy to be in a relationship.

MrTeddyFTW 1

Do you know who PewDiePie is? If not he’s a big YouTube’s who calls his fans 9 year olds.

POTUSJack 4

So you say you’re a fan of PewDiePie, and you expect us to think you’re older than 13?

MrTeddyFTW 2

I’m 17 lmao, lots of older people watch PewDiePie.

HereWeGoAgainTJ 2

Yeah, you don't need that kinda damage in your life. Move on and don't look back.

mellowmish 2

that's not your girlfriend anymore

SoftCupCake 2

What a slut

UnbrokenWillPower 2

I just don’t get it, see a lot of similar posts lately.
She wants to have sex with multiple people and after you told her you don’t feel comfortable with that she persists.
You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who literally manipulate you to believe that if you don’t let her be with other people you are the bad guy in this relationship.

From my humble opinion, it seems like cheating but with excuses.

PhotonParable 1

I'm going to suggest something controversial: Don't accept or deny, ask to be in a harem with women that aren't her, and if she doesn't get the picture she's honestly too dense to date.

​

On another note, "possession"?!?! what does that even mean? I mean yes, a foundation of relationships is exclusivity.

PM_ME_YR_KITTYBEANS 1

A foundation of relationships is agreement and consent on whether or not you both want to be exclusive.

First get her to set up an arrangement where she has to bring 4-5 friends of her female friends to have sex with you and then make her watch, and then breakup, she can have sex with anyone she likes now! 😂😂😂

_pizza-time_ 1

Leave. That's fucking insane

cums2Comments 1

There were probably 100 much less obvious red flags until you got to this one.

notscott88 1

How does one organize a gangbang?

HiddenRaunchDressing 1

Ask yourself, am I ok being cuckolded? On the regular? Infrequently? Am I okay with my partner having unsafe sex with someone else? If the answer to any of these is no, then move along. Trust me, she won’t have a hard time scratching her itch without you

thatguyuknow53 1

RUN!!! Your girl is wild you need to ABORT MISSION THIS IS A STATE OF EMERGENCY 🚨. She is trying to make you feel like the bad guy for not wanting her to get gang banged, that’s almost evil levels of manipulation and she wants you to participate and watch even though you don’t want to. Any partner that tries to make you feel bad for not wanting them to be getting smashed by other people don’t actually care about your feelings.

1KFCbucket 1

At least she's honest with you.

Nem-Ta 1

Jesus Christ. Dump her.

dapidh 1

:(

Sirat_ 1

Here's the thing: she's probably going to insist on this unless you either break up or do it. If you break up, she will do it anyway. So you might as well watch.

Letmetellyowhat 1

Leave her

careyokey911 1

Why is she a tweaker or something ? Heroin addict, sex addict?

MrTeddyFTW 2

Recovering sex addict

okie-dokey 1

Good information to include in your original post

jordanjwhitney 1

If she is a recovering sex addict, then she knows that this will not be healthy for her. She'll be leading you down a dark path and she is trying to justify her actions.

immaLiar 1

Aka thot

maljo24 1

An adventurous gal. Let her do it and see where the cards fall. You can always dump her but maybe one time and she have it out of her system. A sexually adventurous woman is generally a good thing.

f1sh_ 1

That's gonna be a no for me dog.

sn00p3r 1

Run and never look back.

yesgirlkenny 1

if it was me, I'd walk away. I mean, if you have already expressed how you feel and she's not understanding, then what else can you really do? sorry, this probably wasn't very helpful 😔

JoeysWorldTourMRE 1

Run.

jmlour72 1

Break up, walk away, and find new love. Chances are she has already experienced it without you knowing or will eventually do it with or without you. I wouldn’t want that stress in my life.

I think that she has a right to live out her fantasy. You also have a right to not be okay with it.

You can’t stop her, but you have a right to end things for any reason.

Maybe if you talk through what she likes about the fantasy, you can come up with a compromise.

powderline 1

Boy, I would run for the hills. Definitely a non-negotiable for me. Set a clear and firm boundary on this. If this is a hard stop for you, I would seriously question why I’m with someone that wants that.

And then you got a courtesy invite after she initially didn’t want you there...?

110_percent_THC 1

You should get the fuck out now!

moosepantsthekey 1

Don’t break up with her for this but because she is a cunt

IRS_SEC_Filing_ 1

she ain't the one Fam

ak47ra1der 1

Sounds like she should also go be in a relationship.... without you. Move the fuck on.

boomboxpinata 1

she doesn’t love you. LEAVE!!!!!!

MasRemlap 1

What the fuck? Dump her slimy ass. You deserve better

Statikk666 1

Dump her now

Jimothythegreen 1

So you’re leaving her right?

KnewbornG 1

I'd let her do it, then dump her! You don't need that.

thatoneguy172 1

I think your title shows how you feel.

"So my girlfriend wants to be in a gang bang.... without me.

I think you feel that your girlfriend no longer wants to be with you. Good luck.

Hugeknight 1

Time for an easy break up. Don't try to fix it no one what more degeneracy delves within her mind this might be the tip of the iceberg.

OtherwiseDoubtful 1

Drop this Zero and get with a Hero.

ncubez 1

"What should I do". You're a lost cause, my friend. Good luck.

G3ntl3man001 1

Get out of there immediately.

simonlegosu 1

Wtf you dont want to watch her get rammed by 6 guys? Pig.

EnpySee 1

Calmly explain that you did not support Bernie in 2016 and won't in 2020. This level of cuckery goes beyond any memes

AonBheag 1

Lol check out OPs post history.

aaronryder773 1

Break up with her. That's messed up.

isaystupidthingssrry 1

Do the gang bang and then break up with her. Its a win win, she gets her gang bang then sees the consequences of it (you breaking up with her). You get to experience a gang bang but with someone your gonna be be breaking up with anyway.

neoda1 1

lol

TonytheNetworker 1

This is NOT what I was expecting on the front page of my Reddit feed on a Wednesday morning. With that being said you clearly are uncomfortable with this and you need to set a boundary. If she's persisting to fuck other guys and not even giving you a middle ground like, you know, hooking you up with 4 girls and letting you fuck all of them, then show her the door.

BlackBoxInquiry 1

It’s a line you’re not wanting crossed. You know this, she knows this.

Would she be okay watching you plow a bunch of other women while she watched? Likely not.

Either way, if she can’t respect that, you, your wishes, and/or herself enough to not keep that a no-go, then the relationship is at a point it needs to end.

If she claims you want ownership just to get her way, your wishes and feelings be damned, then run, don’t walk to your nearest relationship exit.

She’ll end up resenting you, you resenting her and likely would cheat on you and just never say.

She wants that and won’t take your wishes and feelings into consideration - let her go.

Do it now.

THNOLK 1

Run to the hills

Fox_Grape 2

Run for your lives

Elbradamontes 1

Come on dude. WTF?

Togah_ 1

What a shitty, shitty thing to do to someone. You should start seeing if you can be with other people. This woman just wants to literally make it so you can't get a pack of smokes without running into eight dudes she's fucked.

blake1120 1

Yeah what a predicament...do you really need the advice of internet strangers on this one?

PunditGReLoaded 1

Leave her , even if you tell her no she will still do it. If your girlfriend wants you to watch her fuck other guys she is already fucking other guys.

-_-_infomercials_-_- 1

Dang. Sorry. That sucks.

clickable_link 1

If this is that important to her and you are that opposed, then this relationship should probably die. You are both right in wanting what you want, maybe you aren't a good fit. Sexual compatibility is important for longevity. Don't think this will go away, it will not. It may morph into other things though, are you prepared for that. Me personally, if I was you I would enjoy it, but I would be in the bangers, I think that is fair compromise. Not every person can do this obviously.

implosivve 1

Tell her you want to gang bang a bunch of girls and have her watch?

Dragonsblud 1

Ya um that's something she can do when shes single. Dont go back if she needs to do this

Tell her it's non negotiable, when she tries to throw it back on you put your foot down. This is not something you want and if it's something she can't live without the relationship is over. Honestly it sounds to me like she's trying to coerce you into breaking up with her because she's too much of a coward to do it herself.

voltaire_had_a_point 1

1) This is obvs fake...
2) You watch too much vikings

allthatisman11 1

Dump and change my boy.

Severus09 1

This sounds really fake. And after looking at your post/comment history, it looks like you're a really immature 16 year old. So, in the big off chance this post has any truth to it, I would say there's no sunk cost for your life at this point. But again, I'm highly skeptical. Assuming your hypothetical gf is of the same age, she's no where near at a point in her life to be considering gang bangs either.

Comment in which you admit to being 16:

Just turned 16 in October

Nathanmg 1

Her forcing you to participate is not an act of love, but an act of possession. There's a huge difference between forcing someone not to do something and having boundaries, make it clear you can't prevent her doing it but if she does she's crossing your stated boundaries and that's a deal breaker.

2zmoon 1

Are you kidding me. If she wants to be in a gang bang she can go and do that, and you just end this relationship. Any woman that asks that does not respect you. She has no respect for you. Even if she change her mind and drop this issue, you should end the relationship because of the disrespect issue.

HeelsFan15 1

Move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Sw4ft 1

Vincent Chase?

msf2115 1

Ex girlfriend

Phoneuser80 1

You need to leave right this second my man, there is no possible upside to staying in this relationship any longer.

gmabarrett 1

If this is something she wants to do you should let her. While you distance yourself from everything about her. If she persists in demanding to do something that makes you uncomfortable (and I am with you!) then it’s tine to evaluate your relationship.
Have you tried asking how she would feel if you got four or five girls together for you to play with?

mediumevil 1

leave bro

pressthebuttonfrank 1

Simple-she is no longer your girlfriend.

totallyfreeadvice 1

Believe it or not, communication is all that you need to work on.

If interested, I have some exercises that may help. Please have her reach out to me direct and we can start her sessions immediately.

The-Ham-Bummer 1

Why aren't you running?

postfromastranger 1

You need advice on this? Lol really? Maybe you should watch her get gangbanged and maybe that will wake you the fuck up. lol Jesus I hope this is a fake post

buttleech 1

Is this real life?

kansasdoll22 1

No way! You need to dump that crazy like yesterday.

pravinnath08 1

Find another girl.... And let her find true love...

Rhyat450 1

Will she make it up to you with a thresome? F-M-F? Cause if shes fine getting gang bang than she should befine with you getting a 3 way hell make it a 4some a F-F-M-F

boneslab 1

BREAK UP
IT'S OVER
PACK IT UP AND LEAVE NOW

Bobb95 1

Nice larp

Andykbrown 1

So this is either a fake post or I would say that you should bail.

Do you want to be with someone who wants to be gang banged without you? Then compromises and says that you can join?

Your girl has a life time subscription to ‘issues’ magazine. Do yourself a favor and cut that one loose. If this is something she values this much, she is an anchor on your life.

andymcd79 1

Ejector seat dude. If her yum is your yuk and you can't meet in the middle then its time to get out.

long_wang_big_balls 1

Yeah, in all honesty, I'd call it a day here

Junkmans1 1

You are entitled to say no and give an ultimatum that you're done with the relationship if she does this. Then hold firm.

Machismo01 1

“This is non-negotiable. In a relationship with me you can’t do a gangbang/fuck other people/whatever. If you decide to go through with it, you will be single and free do so without betraying my trust. Our relationship will be over though at that point. There will be no future for us. “

And mean it. You don’t need a person like that if they can’t respect their wishes. Seriously, if they betray you on this, never.look.back.

Offended_by_Words 1

Call her a slut and leave. This woman has no respect for you. Do not allow your feelings for her to hinder your decision on this. This is a black and white situation.

Ask her to get 5 sexy women together and have you bang them all in front of her. See if she's willing. If she is, do it and then break up with her.

cactusbanger 1

Think of it this way, it's free so it would be an easy Xmas gift.

But seriously, dump her.

DiddyDiddledmeDong 1

Something tells me it wouldn't be her first rodeo. The fuck outeth, was it

HectoSexual 1

Dude cmon, suck it up and be in the gangbang.

And then leave her because she is a piece of shit.

KlacktorBringrOfDeth 1

If by some remote chance any of the original OP claims are real, I don’t give a shite how supremely redundant the advice that follows will be, but I’m fine being the 1000th person to say something along the lines of...

RUN.

Chances are that it won’t get better. She clearly doesn’t give a shit about you. This hyper-manipulative behavior is the supreme double standard. She likely wants all of the pros of a relationship without committing to the compromises of monogamy.

Speaking as someone who has previously been in an open relationship on a long term basis in the past. It’s a delicate issue to say the least, but it’s only ever possible when both parties are onboard. Even asking about these possibilities can end a normal relationship and make one partner feel sexually inadequate because their expressed interest in extramonogomous sexual activity. In my relationship experience we had actually met and began dating due to our openness to this lifestyle before-hand.

In the end I decided that the open/poly/swinger lifestyle was not what I wanted for myself long term. It was great while it lasted, but it’s no longer a part of my life. But I will say this; even the strongest relationship will be tested highly by any open relationship format.

Summary:

You should break up most likely

she doesn’t appear to care that you’re not on board

And I’m open relationships

the swinger lifestyle is HARD and tests even strong relationships.
-in my own collection of anecdotal experiences as a man in an open relationship you will always receive less opportunities for participation in extramarital/extra-relationship sex activity, regardless of how attractive you are . Be prepared for this reality.

Best of luck to you OP

plumbtastic76 1

Leave

tooty21 1

If she is already thinking it then the axe has fallen. I mean even if you don’t do it it’s on her mind and she wants to. So I have a suggestion. Go for it and evaluate after. If you like so be it. If you do not, so be it as well. All in all she has already made the decision in her mind. Not her actions.

RobD0gggg 1

I find this interesting.
I wouldn't allow it or put up with it
I often discuss having a threesome or something of the likes with my girlfriend basically just having an open relationship sort of thing, she's not interested but I'm all over the idea.
That being said if she wanted to have a Gangbang without me I would be furious and no way would I expect her to allow me to have a threesome without her.
The reason I am acceptable to this sort of view is for the exact same reason as your girlfriend said, as in having sex with other people should be allowed because being restricted to the one person does seem in my opinion possessive
However the fact that she's interested in a gang bang and made a point of not wanting you to be a part of it is a big red flag
I mean you could capitalize on it and say she can do it if you can have a 3 way with a girl first and she's gotta take part
Set the standards equal sort of thing if you are about that life
Otherwise I'd just get out of there right now

IFinallyWokeUpHaveU 1

Lol. Leave.

Be thankful she brought this up to you instead of just being a pin cushion for cock on the side.

pfunnk14 1

Do it. But you get to pick the guys. Make sure you post anonymous ads saying your GF has a fetish of fucking guys with herpes. Then leave her after it's over. BOOM... you're a criminal.

realbiggnuggz 1

Excuse yourself from the relationship. She’s got to live her life and you got to live yours. And it sounds like those two roads don’t intersect

Delilah417 1

Are you bothered by the gang bang itself or do you support the gang bang as long as you get to participate? Those are two very different issues & I’d have different advice for each

9gagiscancer 1

Some ships are made to sink. So get aboard the lifeboat while you still can.

goobermooncoon 1

Tell her she can only sleep with all those men if they will fuck you in the ass first because you're a faggot who likes to write fake shit on the internet.

jmanCP 1

Run. Don't look back. There'll be others.

PositiveSquad33 1

Film it and post it here

23rdfuelblock 1

Ya...just be friends or something.

Bedtimeshine 1

Tell her you have no problem with it being an act of possession. That your proud to be possessive of her and she should be too. And if she doesn’t get her mind right she will be free to do everything without you.

2161321613 1

Walk away. This fantasy will eventually be played out behind your back.

Dare_David 1

Make your own gangbang while she's looking and we'll see if she likes it

itskiser 1

Byee

MolRose 1

Oh dear

Ry-Bread01256 1

No, that is not controlling of you to not want that. Leave her if she wants to continue this weird shit.

When people, mostly women, say you are "controlling her" when she tries to force you into something, that is just a guilt trap.

HorseIsLikeMan_ 1

Dump her.

Cactiicat 1

You are better off without her hun

creepin_in_the_dms 1

Well either get out before it happens, or get out after it happens. Sounds like she's pretty determined to make it happen.

rawdogg808 1

Bail dude. That’s messed up

shakesula9 1

Fucking hell man should have left the first second how can you even discuss this type of thing

Pandaman19902 1

Best you call it off...

PurpleSweetz 1

Gross. Get the fuck away from this bitch . You're only going to find yourself in way more undesirable situations with her.

Freevoulous 1

Can you tell us WHY does she want a gang-bang? What does it mean to her, what she thinks she would get from it?

Can you tell us WHY you do not want it to happen? What would it mean to you, and what do you expect it would lead to?

jack_watson97 1

leave fam. its one thing asking but then if your SO says no i would not like you to get fucked but other people then that should be the end of it. she wants to cheat but just wants you to give it the thumbs up first

FoxTwoX 1

When and where is this gangbang? Asking for a friend.

But seriously, she wants to have sex other people and isn’t respecting you.

Get out son

neophylium 1

'side effects of porn'

RadicalD11 1

Yeah... nope. I'm sure somebody said it better, but if you don't want it, and she insists, that isn't working.

ILoveToEatLobster 1

LOL

DabIMON 1

You are being completely reasonable, if you are not comfortable with it, she needs to accept that.

Meaningless_Is_Life 1

Watch the movie Old School and recreate all of the shenanigans.

Sub_Squanch 1

consider starting a relationship with someone else, maybe someone who isnt fucked in the head

jizzneyworld 1

Lmao

Introbyte 1

ejaculate and evacuate

CoolingtonBeans 1

I bet she's already getting railed and trying to get you into it so it's not cheating anymore

Maximum_Pirate 1

Leave her; have your own gangbang; invite her to it. Game, set, match.

hambone716 1

You're not in the wrong. Here's a creative alternative to offer to her: blind-fold her and use dildos of varying sizes on her, include yourself in the mix? Doesn't sound like she's going to be one for the long haul imo.

Negotiate and say you'll agree to letting her be in a gangbang only if she first organises a threesome for you with two other women while she watches. Then after she's done her part and you've successfully had your threesome, dump her.

Davidbcbc 1

Just be honest and tell her: "I don't like what you propose, if you still want to do it go ahead but we will not be together anymore"

steelothegreat 1

BE GONE T H O T

MambyPamby8 1

Wow that is serious emotional blackmailing and could be perceived as almost abusive. You are absolutely not obliged to go along with this. She's manipulating you into letting her do something for her and not for you. It's a no-no for you and you are fully entitled to YOUR boundaries. What's even more concerning is she wanted to do it without your involvement. That's to me just screams pure selfishness. Give her a strict no. If she can't and won't respect your boundaries then you need to have a serious discussion about what way your relationship is going. She either loves you enough to give up on her 'fantasy' and realise you are more important OR she doesn't love you enough and cares more about the fantasy she has. If the latter is the case, then unfortunately you know what you need to do.

LearnedButt 1

She has bodily autonomy, meaning she can do anything she wants with her body, including be in a gang bang.

You also have bodily autonomy, and your body can choose not to be in a relationship with her.

SpicyPeaSoup 1

Tell her to take videos and post them for us please.

ProudNormie1 1

Run. You said what your boundary is, she doesn't give a shit. Any self respecting person walks after their partner demonstrates they dont care about their boundaries.

resurrected_wizard93 1

Wear mask and go.

laubenmafal 1

Wait is this real. I was waiting for the punch line. Um. If so, gtfo man. You want a monogamous relationship, and clearly she does not agree to those terms. Terminate the relationship. You deserve better

legice 1

Im single, but just the throught of my girlfriend saying, I want to fuck or be fucked by a different person, would be enought to start a conversation about ending the relationship, but a gang bang... thats a huge nono in my book

BlizzGrimmly 1

Listen man, harsh reality time... She's getting gang banged one way or another. It sounds like she's decided. So be around for it, or try to detach yourself from her fast enough so that by the time it happens it won't bother you. In other words, if she seems persistent, break up asap. Good luck.

Healthyfling-dot-com 1

Dump her, she ain't worth it

beathedealer 1

Call me what you will, even this sentiment and persistence is actionable. I would leave. Can’t really turn back from this.

MGTOWtoday 1

You're making this up, aren't you? By any chance you're not, there's an old saying of, "kick her to the curb." In this case, I'd say dropkick her to the curb. If you really like this girl (which you'd be insane to be too hung up on a nutcase like this), then tell her, "Yes, so long as we're in a relationship, I do possess you, and you can't do this, period." If she protests just tell her loudly and firmly, "No." Don't explain your feelings. Don't negotiate with her. Don't do any of that. Just be firm. "No." is all you need to say. Or you could try another option. Tell her, "go ahead, but I'm not dating no skank ho."

coleosis1414 1

This is a troll

vas_1990 1

Leave her ffs

quax747 1

Usain Bolt out of there!

SmexyDoge 1

Let me tell you kid... go over to her, flip her off and moonwalk the fuck outta there.

The_Wicked_Wombat 1

You mean your EX GIRLFRIEND asked you one time if she could be in a gangbang.

FTFY brother.

denali42 1

Unless your relationship was originally an open relationship, your girlfriend is simply looking for an excuse to cheat. Time to go.

dfruit35 1

Fuck say no that's messed up dump her and get outer there.

jiggszy6 1

Does this really happen in real life

Barnesatron 1

Peace the fuck out.

ras_void 1

Ahem RUN

wtf_is_taken 1

Gtfo

Ftw

gomundo00 0

Tell her you are cool with it but only want to watch, and you’ll do it only if you can film it. Then send the vid to her parents. Problem solved.

jowookie

I am going to leave this post up as the comments contain actual advice for this type of situation. However if things get out of hand I will lock this. Thank you.

ThatWideLife 0

What happens when you’re a beta male. Sorry not sorry.

DefinitelyNotSloth 0

Imma say something a little different. Be in gangbang, shoot in her eye or something, then never talk to her again. She gets her GB. you get off and get out, win win.

t3rp5 0

Don't feed the trolls..

Phoenix-Wright_ -2

Are you into gangbangs?

ffonzz -3

I get why everyone is saying run but if you really want to be in this relationship then maybe find some middle ground. There's nothing wrong with what she wants to try its just that you don't want to try it. Maybe suggest watching gangbang porn together or something. There are steps you can take together and might even enjoy them! But you also might not and she needs to respect that too. For her to randomly ask for a gang bang is a bit extreme. (Not as bad as the shit one I read the other day but still extreme)

betondthe50 -10

Do it!

jimmybear09 -20

I am kinda down with her being in the gangbang personally ... I will bring the camera and will do the editing if you like :)

ex_astris_sci

Yes, because her idea is an act of love (for herself).

i_am_copacetic

You should respect your “girlfriends” wishes and support her.

amooni95

That's just as fucked up as a guy saying "anal or gtfo". No way could a person feel respect, empathy, patience, and commitment (the 4 main things that make up love in a romantic relationship imo) towards someone and still expect them to endure being uncomfortable just to make themselves happy. Keep your standards on self respect high. Regardless of any pressure she may put on you in order to get you to cave in and for her to get her way. Also, pretty sure what she is doing is a form of sexual abuse or harassment. Don't tolerate shit. No means no.

thirteenoranges

Don’t shame her kinks. Just because you’re personally not into it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad for her to want that fantasy. It just means you’re not compatible or comfortable/open enough for her.

4entzix

It makes me so sad that every response is leave

She is asking for something that she was talking to experience that you can't provide. (Because your only 1 person)

It's human nature to crave new experiences, we only get to be on their earth one time, why should we leave the earth with a list of things you wish you had done

But craving new experiences doesn't mean you dislike your current life or situation or partner. People are so obsessed with the idea that if someone else wants something I can't provide than I am not enough.

Stop making this about yourself!!! She wants a new experience but loves you enough that she doesn't want to lose you.

Her having sex with multiple partners especially in a situation where you are aware of doesn't hurt anyone. She gets to fulfill her desire for a new experience and you get to go back to having the same relationship you had before it happened

The only thing that would prevent that from happening is your own insecurity and possivenss

Now if she wants this all the time or does it behind your back that isn't craving new experiences that's a full change in lifestyle and if your not comfortable with that you should totally leave

But her desire for a new experience that you as a single partner can't provide is just a fundemental part of human of human nature