6/1/13

Penelope May

I am sitting here watching my daughter sleep. I already feel like the past 10 days have gone by too quickly. I have a feeling I am going to watch her grow in love and adoration and constantly wish it would slow down. I have been so incredibly blessed. No, I didn't plan to have Penelope. When I first realized I was pregnant, I thought my life was ruined. I thought there was no way I could provide for her. I thought she and I would be alone. I thought my dreams, and aspirations had come to a screaching halt. Now as I watch her sleep, and listen to her breathe, and my heart swells with the thought that I would literally die without her. She is such a kind and loving soul already. She loves to be held and cuddled. She only cries when we change her diaper, she just wants to be warm and swaddled all the time. Even when she cries the loud, red faced cry that we all know too well... I just have to lean in close to her ear and tell her it will be okay. She then calms down and everything is fine again. She let's me sleep through the night. Only wiggling and cooing when 3 hours have gone by and it's time to eat. Will this even-tempered, 6 pound 2 oz, baby remain this sweet forever? I don't know. I'm just so grateful for this time. I'm so proud to call her my own. She has my nose and long fingers. She smiles in her sleep. She has one dimple on her cheek, just like me. She loves windows, constantly searching for natural light. She is 10 days old, yet manages to be dainty and girly in every way. Just the way she rests her hand so delicately on her cheek when she sleeps. Or purses her lips when she is full. I thought she would ruin my life, but it turns out that she saved my life. She taught me about selfless, unconditional love. She taught me about service. I see the world through different eyes. I have more patience than I ever knew I could possess. I have sympathy and admiration for every woman and mother I see. I have a greater appreciation for my blessings, and the people in my life that serve Penelope and love her like I do. Because of sweet Penelope I know that God loves me. He gave me the greatest gift this life has to offer, motherhood.