>> Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This weekend (between midnight on Saturday and Sunday night) I broke free. I went out with friends on Saturday, consumed TWO different kinds of poutine (one regular, one Lakeview), and ate out for all meals without a care in the world. Pancakes, maple syrup, coffee, fruit, sugar, dairy, fried chicken and cornbread (at Harlem) - all these bits of deliciousness went down the hatch. And all, or some key ingredients, made me feel so bloated and headache-y that I couldn't fall asleep on Sunday night.

I spent Monday morning tired and wary of all foods, nursing a green tea and contemplating my life.

The thing is, everything I ate / drank / did this weekend wasn't totally abnormal for me on any given weekend. One night out, one brunch, one dinner out. It kind of highlights how unhealthy my 'normal' is.

Last night I went out for dinner and I really wanted a salad. Really! Not like, "oh, I should have a salad." I really wanted some vegetables. Maybe I have improved my eating habits.

The other thing I've noticed is that I spent much less money while on the detox. I did more groceries, but made fewer small purchases. I always had food on hand (at work, in my purse) because I knew I couldn't easily buy detox-friendly snacks. I liked being prepared and not settling for processed sugary snacks that are tempting but always a bad decision 30 minutes later. Saving money is nice, too.

>> Friday, March 26, 2010

One of a few new tracks released this week: Broken Social Scene - All to All. I think Lisa Lobsinger is finally growing on me. It's no small feat to make yourself known and loved when following in the footsteps of Amy Millan, Emily Haines, and Feist (whom I have heard called, quite seriously, 'the holy trinity').

I simultaneously wish there were more days in the week and wish for this particular one to be over.

>> Thursday, March 25, 2010

I love this album and I'm concerned that not enough people have listened to it. Since I'm currently fiending for the new National album, and since I'm being made to wait, I've turned to their older ones for comfort.

Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers is the National's second full-length album. I got into it after their second and third came out (I wasn't cool enough to be listening to them in 2003) and it's become a staple, whole-album listener for Saturday mornings and afternoons that feel like mornings. It's especially great when you're hungover. If anyone can understand your pain, it's the National.

The title is absolutely perfect for it. Compared to the next two, I think of Sad Songs as being prettier and more personal. There's also less Boxer-style drums from Bryan Devendorf that seem now to have become a band staple. And of course, it's full of the genius phrasing (both musical and lyrical), bleak humour, and drunken confessions that we have come to know and love.

My first favourite track was It Never Happened. The party kid in all of us gets what it means to look younger than you feel and older than you are. Available is a little mean and has made me feel intense shame a couple of times, but they never takes themselves out of the screw-up equation. Matt Berninger often sounds like he's just barely holding on, and I love how he sort of loses it towards the end of this track (he fully loses it on Slipping Husband). Both express his frustration at someone's failure to live up to their potential or fulfill duty. A couple more tracks showcase their ability to be sweet in their self-deprecating way, as on Lucky You and Fashion Coat (with a little political commentary thrown in). I think this album sounds like trying to figure out the right way to behave ('morality' sounds so heavy but I guess that's what I mean), navigating the transition to adulthood/manhood, and figuring out what we're responsible for (both ourselves or others). The opener, Cardinal Song, is a great example of this confused but sincere attempt to figure it out.

Related: I totally wrote this post before a new track from High Violet, Bloodbuzz Ohio, was released.

I continue to love the album art.

My anxieties are simultaneously assuaged and renewed. So far this album sounds like it'll be a great balance of the more abstract anthemic rock songs (that's what other people call it, I don't think of the National as 'anthemic') of Alligator, the introspective urban isolation of Boxer, and even some of the good stuff that came before those two.

Also related: thank God the weather is improving, as I clearly need to get outside more.
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>> Wednesday, March 24, 2010

In case anyone is wondering, the detox is still chugging along. I don't know why people are so surprised that I've stuck with it, given that I'm known to be as stubborn as a mule. I have cheated accidentally or out of necessity (usually when eating out), but I've been perfect so far this week. It's easier when the end is in sight. Saturday at midnight it all comes down.

I'm craving sugar and baked goods but it's all mental. One minute it's a pumpkin scone, the next a doughnut, the next a cupcake (it is painful to even name these things). Knowing that I can't have them makes me think about them all the time. I've always been highly suggestible - if I see someone eating something on TV then I want it, too. Actually making use of my willpower over the last three weeks has been an interesting exercise.

Also, as Sarah mentions, I'm much more aware of how the things I consume make me feel physically. It's a totally obvious and very simple concept, but it's easy to forget. I always understood why it's better to eat food that is fresh / organic / local / etc., but I feel like I really get it now. Especially the stuff about avoiding processed food. It is just the worst.

So in conclusion: I feel good, I've been able to stick to the detox, I'm proud of myself for cooking so much, I've saved money, and feel an enlightenment bordering on self-righteousness. Good times.

That said, I will devour the following when Sunday rolls around: coffee, wine, various baked goods. Oatmeal pancakes at Mitzi's, definitely. More coffee.

I got my sister Dirty Dancing two Christmases ago (2008), and we watched it together over the break. It was then that I decided I needed two things in my life: white keds and cut-off jeans. By the time summer 2009 rolled around apparently so had everyone else. For a while I thought this was a weird coincidence. But the more I think about it (yes, this is the kind of thing I spend my time thinking about), I realize there must have been other things going on that made me decide that Baby's style was perfect for me right then. After all, I've watched that movie several times and I watched others over that Christmas break.

Influence is an interesting thing. People or events that are highly visible and draw a lot of attention can be influential, but often it's little things coming together. I realize I'm probably venturing into Tipping Point territory here (haven't read it; tried to but got bored) so I'll stop there. I just wanted to talk a little bit about one part of my life that I have found is slowly influencing others.

Just over a year ago I started taking ballet classes for no particular reason except that I wanted to try a form of dance, and it was available to me. I ended up loving it. I love that it's a discipline, an art form, and great exercise. My first teacher would always tell us bits of history every time she taught us new steps, like about how ballet evolved from fencing and that at first it was only for men. We also had a live accompanist in those classes and I loved all the music we danced to. I don't wish I'd started taking lessons when I was younger so could have advanced further. I just appreciate it now.

I've noticed that my taste has been influenced by ballet classes and the performances I've been to. Ballet is one of those things that has an automatically-associated set of characteristics: pink (there is a colour called "ballet pink"), tulle, satin, fluidity, grace, etc. I want to wear ballet colours all the time - pearls and light pinks and nudes and oyster greys. I find that I'm wearing tights every day. I hate wearing pants. Maybe it's because I feel good when I wear these things in class. Either way, it feels like a good direction.

I kind of wish it was appropriate for an adult to wear a tutu in public (I do not own a tutu - yet). I actually bought a black tulle skirt for this reason. I went with black so as to not appear like a maniac (it's a good rule - if I'm buying anything sort of outrageous, I buy it in black to tone it down).

Everyone in tutus - Spring 2011??

My song for today:Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - So Everyone. I love that this is a love song that is also slightly inappropriate. And I love that it's a waltz (I have a special place in my heart for pop songs written in 3/4 time).

Sidenote: how many cowboy items is it appropriate to wear all at once? Like, cut-offs, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, plaid shirt? Two of four? Maybe three? All four and you're officially in a costume, right?

It's been a few years since I saw Cuff the Duke live, but I remember them putting on an incredible, high-energy live show. I had my very own Courtney Cox moment at the Grad Club in Kingston in...2005? Towards the end of the show when everyone was exploding with energy, Wayne Petti pulled me up on stage to dance. OK, he may have pulled up a couple of others, too. But I'm pretty sure I was first. The next time we went to see them was the last night of a two-night stand at the Grad Club. It was totally sold out and we had no luck talking our way in. We were walking away, dejected, when we saw the band smoking on top of the fire escape at the back of the building (it's a converted three-storey Victorian house). We yelled up to them that we couldn't get in but we just wanted to see them play. Being the totally solid guys they are, they let us in through the fire escape and down through the crazy winding hallways and stairwells of the Grad Club (four years and I never figured them all out) into the main room. The bar staff were not impressed when they saw us later. But it was an excellent show.

I saw Hooded Fang a couple of times last year, opening for various bands, and they're also fun. I don't have any stories about them, though, sorry. I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

Bon weekend! Wish me luck 'enjoying' Lee's Palace without the benefit of a handful of 50s.

>> Thursday, March 18, 2010

Things have been tough this week, I'm not gonna lie. I think I accidentally had gluten yesterday (hidden in oat crackers) and was rewarded with a headache all afternoon. Forgoing St Paddy's day merry-making and Kaleb & Cheryl's (hereafter referred to as "Chaleb") delicious spread of sugar cookies, Irish soda bread, and whiskey and Guinness flavoured cheeses was almost too much for me. Luckily Sarah was there, too, so we were able to resist together. I don't miss alcohol but I do miss being able to drink something other than water when out with friends. Unfortunately, most bars don't seem to stock soy milk. I have seriously considered asking for green tea, though. I'll let you know if / when things progress to that point.

I just started watching The Wire. I know it's supposed to be amazing, and I'm really enjoying it so far, but my limited attention span is making it difficult to get through episodes that are actually an hour long. Anyway, for all the totally obsessed Wirefans out there (which describes all Wire fans, as far as I can tell), there's a new trailer up for David Simon's new series, Treme.

But you probably already knew that.

I would also like to send a shout-out to all the quality 22-minute shows out there. Keep it real.

This week has also been busier than usual so it's been tough to stay on top of meal planning and cooking, but I'm halfway through!

Sad news today: Alex Chilton passed away last night. A great musician who inspired many more great ones.

>> Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Yesterday was the birthday of two good friends and the celebrations (such as they could be, for a Monday) were lovely. But of course birthdays and other times of celebration are also a little stressful for me right now. Last night we went out for sushi and I had edamame, seaweed salad, and asparagus wrapped in smoked salmon. I'm not sure that everything I ate was detox-friendly (there was definitely too much salt involved), but it had to be pretty close. Anyway, it's not worth stressing about when I'm supposed to be celebrating with friends.

And speaking of my amazing friends, my friend Tara has a show that opens this Thursday evening at the Paul Petro Special Projects Space (962 Queen St W). I will be there and I think you should join me!

For all the crazies out there who can't get enough of the National, check out Music Taster's Choice's videos of their show at the Bell House in NY this past weekend. New tracks premiered!

My song for today: I listened to the new T.I. track, "I'm Back", this morning.
Every new T.I. track usually makes me think the same thing: I miss the undeniable swagger of "What You Know". But this is not a duet with a catchy club sing-a-long chorus by Rihanna. T.I. is out of prison and he is pissed at someone. I'm guessing it's MTV. Imagine coming out of prison to find a world obsessed with Jersey Shore? I'd be pissed, too.

>> Monday, March 15, 2010

Yesterday I did Joshi's recommended liver cleanse (grapefruit juice, lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, and ginger, blended). It did not taste good at all. I was really excited to have grapefruit juice because it's not otherwise allowed on the detox, but it was totally ruined by the garlic. I didn't feel great afterwards (more detoxing?) but I feel fine now.

I look forward to the weather improving. Not even my new, fully yellow tulips can do much to dispel this gloom. So we may as well roll around in it and get comfortable. To that end -

My song for today:Japandroids - Darkness on the Edge of Gastown from the forthcoming No Singles, a compilation of their two earlier EPs.
This is the kind of noise rock I dig. Any noisier and I get all, "get off my lawn".
No, I didn't pick it solely for the Springsteen reference. Yes, that was a major factor in the decision.
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>> Saturday, March 13, 2010

I was really hoping the weather would be nicer for today's post. I've been saving this song for it. It's perfect for emerging spring weather, Saturdays, and sunshine. We got two out of three today plus a bonus: daylight savings starts tonight! So change those clocks ahead one hour before bed, or, if you're reading this on Sunday morning and you're in my book club, hurry up! You're late for brunch!

>> Thursday, March 11, 2010

Turns out there was no detox-friendly food at the reception last night. Also, I think I hate Perrier now. Last night was also sports league night, where we headed to a bar (as usual) after our dodgeball game. Sarah and I were both pretty hungry - me especially, having eaten dinner at 4pm. Things were looking dicey until we asked the server if we could each just have a plate of veggies and a side of grilled chicken. Turns out that works. Also, it cost us like $5 since we pretty much made a meal out of two sides. Lesson learned: if you don't see what you want on the menu, just ask for it.

Tonight's test: drinks at Bedford Academy with the notorious SPPG class of 2009.

People keep asking me if this detox is hard or if I miss certain foods. The answer is: not really. It's not tons of fun sitting beside someone who's eating fries but it's not unbearable, either. Obviously I am cutting out a lot of foods but it doesn't feel like I'm being deprived. I actually eat a lot. I keep saying that the only challenge is planning and preparing all my meals and making sure I don't get hungry. Yesterday was tough because I was out of the house before 9am and came home after 10pm. This is the reason for the extra bag in my daily luggage - it's all food!

But the best part is that I feel great all around. Headaches are gone now, hooray!

This morning my co-worker Sara lent me her copy of Joshi's Holistic Detox, so now we are no longer flying blind. I'm going to figure out my ayurvedic profile, whatever that means.

Check out the new She & Him video, which currently has the internet being all like, "OMG! cutest thing EVER!!"

I still have mixed feelings about Zooey Deschanel. M. Ward, on the other hand, receives nothing but adoration from me. They're at the Phoenix on June 9 (which is also the date of the National's 2nd Massey show).

In other exciting music news, Stars will have a new record out in June and some guy called Jakob Dylan (looks familiar?) got Neko Case and Kelly Hogan to join his band and the whole lot are coming to the Phoenix on April 25, touring in support of a new album. Very interesting...
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>> Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tonight I face my first real challenge: an open-bar reception with plenty of hors d'oeuvres. Hopefully there will be some broccoli and carrots in the spread and, if I'm very lucky, some hummus.

No headaches today! I feel really good. I made a big batch of carrot ginger soup last night, which turned out really well! I'm so pleased with myself. I once again toted a ludicrous among of food with me to work today (lunch AND dinner, I am not going into that reception hungry!) I actually had so many bags with me that it slowed me down when jaywalking across Yonge this morning. Close call. Near-traffic collisions aside, I feel like I've gotten the hang of food making / planning. The real tests will come with social gatherings. Maybe I can just avoid other people for the next 2.5 weeks?

I'm so excited to drink Perrier with lime and pretend it's a cocktail.

>> Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Yesterday ended a lot better than my last post suggested. I headed to a spin class after work (sweating out more toxins!) and then Sarah and I headed to the Juice Box for our first shot of wheatgrass.
Wheatgrass smells like grass. It tastes like grass. It is also a little sweet. Not bad, not great. We'll call it an acquired taste. But it's supposed to be hella good for you. Also, the couple who run the store were really sweet. Apparently they've been there over 10 years! I only noticed the store last week. Shows how much I know. They also had a few detox-friendly veggie juices so I'll definitely be back to try a couple of those (and more wheatgrass!)

The whole cooking / meal-planning thing is going better. Last night I made meatballs out of ground turkey. It's kind of fun to realize that I actually know how to make things (I don't think I can overstate how infrequently I cook). I don't remember ever making meatballs on my own before. Tonight, if I have time, I'm going to make carrot soup.

Only mild headaches so far today. Fingers crossed.

Things I miss: coffee. I haven't been without it this long since I started working. Its sweet aroma drifts over my cubicle walls all day long...oh, mercy.

We saw Donné Roberts at Wavelength a couple of weeks ago and it was one of those opening act pleasant surprises - he and the band are tons of fun live.

In other news: work is busy, the weather is gorgeous, and my tulips are secretly all red inside so they are turning out orange instead of yellow. I feel like I should be angered by this deception but they are still so pretty.

>> Monday, March 8, 2010

Yesterday started off great. The weather was gorgeous and my new tulips were blooming. However, by mid-afternoon I wanted to throw a fit. Like, an actual temper tantrum. I was starving and had a headache and I didn't even want to look at the massive bag of spinach in the fridge. I'm not sure if I was actually hungry or dehydrated or just detoxing. Still having headaches today but nothing too bad.

The toughest part so far is that I feel like I spend half my day cooking or planning meals, which is a big adjustment from spending approximately none of my time doing those things. Hopefully I will get the hang of it soon. Sarah and I spent some time making hummus and baked chickpeas last night, all of which turned out pretty well and will be excellent for snacking. I brought a ludicrous amount of food (carrots, hummus, baked chickpeas, spinach salad with tofu, banana) to work today. Everything should be fine as long as I don't let myself get hungry!

Plain yogurt with a banana and honey is a delicious breakfast, and much more filling than I thought it'd be.

>> Sunday, March 7, 2010

Excitement! This morning Sarah and I have officially begun our Joshi detox. Wish us all kinds of luck!

Last week we realized that two things will occur during our 21 days: 1) book club, which I am hosting and is a brunch and also not that big a deal, and 2) St. Patrick's Day. Um, that's cool. I don't really like friends or drinking or being merry. Thank goodness we are doing this together - we can raise a glass of green tea together on the 17th! Right.

This morning I have weighed myself and checked my body fat percentage (I don't know if the detox is supposed to affect that, but it's on my scale) and have figured out that hot water tastes a lot better than warm. I am a genius.

Doesn't that sounds good? Am I missing anything? Maybe a shredder, or a year's supply of birdseed. JUST IN CASE (which is funny, because it actually comes IN a CASE...ok nevermind).

I'm hoping that these items will be the base for what I eat over the next three weeks, topped up a few times with fresh produce and soy milk. A few things might require a trip to the health food store but most are regular groceries. I'm guessing this list will cost about the same as my regular grocery list, which is much shorter. Yay, produce! Boo, cheese and Italian sausage. Who needs it.

I'm also investing in the following implements:

citrus juicer

garlic press

glass food storage containers (since I will be taking my lunch EVERY DAY)

good-quality bakeware (since I will be cooking more!)

sunflowers (to put on my desk so I don't get too depressed - also, to inhale their moisture in case I can't find a humidifier and become desperate)

>> Friday, March 5, 2010

As the book cover says, this is a 21-day program (followed by a 'maintenance' period, where some foods can be added back in). The goal is to help your body become better at eliminating toxins, to return the body to an 'alkaline' state (apparently we eat too many acidic foods), and to get used to healthier eating habits. It's not specifically for weight loss (as there is no calorie counting or portion control), but it can have that effect. I don't actually have the book, so I'm relying on the internet for rules and recipes and things. All I have to do is stop eating and drinking the following 'toxic' items:

Red meat

Alcohol

Coffee or tea (even decaf)

Wheat, gluten, or yeast

Anything processed or with added sugar, including chocolate, sweets, jams or spreads

Dairy

Nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant). Apparently no mushrooms, peppers, and possibly not zucchini or cucumber either, but I'm not clear on these. I'll just avoid them anyway.

Apparently there is a good chance I will be in physical pain for the first couple of days as all the toxins in my body rise to the surface and make me miserable. But THEN - oh, then - I will supposedly begin to sleep like a log, enjoy higher energy levels, and acquire a saintly glow.

My song for today: Phantom Planet - Leader. Yes, the guys who did the OC theme song! Remember how good the first two seasons were?

>> Thursday, March 4, 2010

My last post made me rageful. If it did the same to you, then I am sorry. Here are the cutest things I have seen this week! They should help.

omg what. r u serious.

teacup pigs!!!

HIMYM fans will remember these little guys from this week's episode. Just try looking into those adorable eyes and telling the little guy you'll never be together!....for now.

Back in the day, a little ol' state called Californee had a hockey team called the Golden Seals. This was their jersey:

A seal playing hockey!!! can you just imagine! it's all like 'arf arf, I don't even have hands, how do flippers hold a hockey stick!?' I guess that's why the team didn't last. But at least seals are good at sliding around on the ice. On their chubby little seal bellies!

This is my current pick for cutest pro sports logo (hey Sportsnet! TSN! this would make a great segment - hire me!) If you think there is a cuter one than this, then I would really like to see it (no, really - I'll add it to this post!)

You know who else is awesome? My new friend Ramk Chardri. He just started a blog, and it is my third favourite thing this week! I hope you guys all get a chance to visit it and say hello! And he has a birthday coming up - the little guy is turning seven - so be sure to wish him a happy birthday!

Guys! My friend Mark has a blog now. First entries are promising. Follow him!And because he seems to think I'm too nice (???), I have here compiled a list of things I hate:

People who don't use coasters on wooden furniture. Maybe you hate my furniture, but I'd still appreciate it if you'd stop trying to ruin it.

Slow walkers who take up the whole sidewalk

Groups of people who suddenly stop in the middle of the sidewalk / top of the stairs / entrance to the subway / etc.

Basically, anyone who is in my way and needs to get out of it.

People who claim they "can't do math" (yes, I say this. That's how I know how lame it is).

Self-righteous vegetarians / vegans.

Last-minute invites - sometimes ok, but most of the time I am already in my pj's and don't want to go out. Or I already have plans and then I feel badly saying so, because it sounds like an excuse! Stop making me feel bad just because you can't make plans!!!

Servers who tell you you should have asked them to split the bill before the meal. What a useful comment that is (especially when they give you attitude about it). Right, I can see how you'd reasonably expect one person to pay for these 5 people who are obviously unrelated and obviously not clients or employees.

Service people, in general, who have attitude problems. I have an attitude problem, too! But guess what: I don't work in the service industry. Idiot.

People who are always starting sentences with "let me be clear:..." Because it's obvious that they think they are incredibly intelligent (and probably think you are dumb). They are probably not that intelligent. You might be that dumb, though, I don't know.

And last, but probably the one that makes me rage the hardest:

People who ask questions that are easily answered with a simple google search. Especially if they ask the question while using the internet (via email, twitter, etc.) It would have cost you the SAME EFFORT to type the question into a search engine. But instead of doing that you expect someone ELSE to google it for you? Are you kidding me?? If you need directions and you're already en-route, then call me. If it's three days before the event, ask google. Otherwise you are getting a link to this: http://lmgtfy.com/. Remember: the Lord helps those who help themselves. And so do I.

Yes, I am concerned that I might have anger management issues. Why do you ask?

>> Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So those of you who know me and bear the burden of listening to me on a regular basis have heard me mention my intention to start a detox diet. A friend of mine has been doing one and claims he feels great - sleeping better, more energy, all good things. This weekend (in between amazing and unsettling and finally rewarding periods of hockey) someone finally identified this mysterious diet as the Joshi detox. So after some googling I (and my friend Sarah) have decided to start it! No, really, this time it's for real! I have committed to it IN MY BLOG!

And you guys are in for a treat - I am going to blog about the whole experience. Ohhh yeah. The excitement starts this weekend!

Oh holy crap. I just went to the Joshi Clinic's website and the first thing I saw was Gwyneth Paltrow's endorsement. Well, I'm still going to do it because plenty of normal people seem to think it's a good idea. Also - for some laughs delivered straight to your inbox, skip the joke-a-day email subscription and sign up for GOOP. You'll thank me.

>> Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I feel really good this morning. I slept well last night and I feel like I might even have a bit of a glow to me today. It might be due to these new B-vitamins I'm taking, but I'm pretty convinced it's actually the result of an amazing show I saw last night. So props to my friend Mark for dragging me out on a Monday night to see Joe Pug and Justin Townes Earle at the Horseshoe Tavern. I have been meaning to see the younger Earle for a while now but never got around to it, so I'm glad I got to see him while he's still playing venues as small as the 'shoe.

JTE (as all the other bloggers are calling him) sounds simultaneously 28 years old (!) and much, much older. It's all pedal steel and fiddle (played by the same guy) and upright bass; silly songs about hogging the bed alongside tearjerkers about his mama and one or two classic travellin' man blues (and a song or two about a train). He did Hank Williams and Carter family songs without sounding like a hack and then covered a Replacements tune with believable angst. The man is like the past, present, and future of country music all in one.

I also really enjoyed the opener, Joe Pug (I will automatically love almost anyone with a harmonica). He's got a great, gravelly voice that I loved and a nice smile, as well as some pretty solid tunes. More rugged-sounding than JTE (no pedal steel here) but definitely good for delivering a few lyrical gut-punches. Also, he got some lady in the crowd dancing, which was kind of weird but cool, I guess. I'm kind of bummed about being out of cash so I didn't get to pick up his new CD (released just last week), but hopefully will figure out a way to do that soon. In the meantime, links!

>> Monday, March 1, 2010

Just came across this ridiculously perfect springtime photo of Bianca Brandolini in a recent Garance Doré post (the other picture is pretty nice, too!)

Again, I love that blue. And the pink. And if only we could all have miles-long legs! Though fyi Bianca is dating her cousin (Lapo Elkan), which is slightly weird, so I don't know how jealous I am of her.
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