Sunday, November 30, 2008

3 Biggest Secrets To Win Back Your Ex's Heart

Sometimes we can learn from Hollywood. In Hollywood a romance never works smoothly. Two people who are right for each other never just meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. That would be boring. To make a good movie there need to be complications. Sometimes those complications include a break-up. Life is like that too. Sometimes a relationship doesn’t go right on the first attempt. There may not have been the right time. Careers may take you apart. Someone else may be involved. It doesn’t really matter, the point is that sometimes you want to re-establish a relationship with your ex, and the following are three of the secrets you should know in order to win back your ex.

Keep the lines of communication open.If you cut each other off you need to re-open the communication lines as soon as possible. After a relationship ends there is often a period where interaction between you is chilly or non-existent. You need to get over that as quickly as possible and get back to the point where you can be completely comfortable in each other’s company. The easiest way to do this is normally through mutual friends, and friends are always keen to help out in these situations. Once you get back to the point where you can communicate easily, the whole process becomes much easier.The best thing you can do initially to get the talk flowing again is NOT talk about the past, your breakup, or anything serious which might put pressure on the situation. There will be a time when those things can be discussed, but first get comfortable with each other again.

Broach the Subject.At some point, you will need to test the waters and see if there is a chance of winning back your ex. Light flirting will give help you receive signals from your ex. If he or she seems receptive, then give it a shot.This is really scary, but you need to know if you are wasting your time. The world is full of ex-couples who spend a lot of time in each other’s company, both wanting to get back together but still apart. Why? Because no-one is prepared to take the plunge and ask if there’s a chance things could work again. “Friends” managed to spin the storyline out for 10 years! Are you prepared to wait around for 10 years not knowing whether your ex is still interested in you or not?It’s also important to realize that your partner is not likely to say “oh thank goodness” and fall back into your arms the first time you broach the subject. It could happen, but you are more likely to get either a “not a chance” response, or a non-committal response. Either is fine. If there is no chance, then you have saved yourself a lot of chasing someone who is never going to be interested again. If they respond they are uncertain - then there is hope!

SHOW, Don’t Tell,One of the classic mistakes is to repeatedly tell your ex how you will be better in the future. It’s a mistake because it appears desperate, which is a turn-off. Instead of talking about what you will do, just start doing it. For example, if your ex wanted you to be more open, be open and caring in your actions. Give a gift, extend an olive branch. In other words, show action, not words.Last time you were together, something went wrong. You shouldn’t try to brush that under the carpet. Actually acknowledge it, address it and show how you will make it better. When problems of the past arise again, handle it in a new way. For example, if you had a habit of overreacting in the past, then when something troublesome happens, try to shrug it off. You want your ex to notice your changes. But they must be sincere and genuine. If it is just a show to get your ex back, it will be transparent to your ex and you will do more damage than good.