(family stands facing the empire state building)Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.

Girl to boy squeezing her boobs: Oh, you are cruising for a bruising.Boy: Haha, like the one I gave you on the kitchen table this morning?Girl: (laughs)Boy (suddenly serious): Man, I hope nobody ate off of that.

Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.Girlfriend: Why?Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something.

Atlantic Avenue announcement: The 2, 3, 4, 5, b and q trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the n, d, or r trains.Pacific Street announcement: The n, d and r trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the 2, 3, 4, 5, b or q trains.

Little girl: Please?Father: I'm not paying attention to you.Little girl: Pleeeeeeease? Do you want me to cry? I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, daddy? (holds up stuffed owl) Just get this for me and I'll be happy, please?