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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm kind of a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" girl. Which is why, despite John's ridicule and the fact that it technically IS broken, I still use the first cell phone I ever got after we were married. Sure, it's older than most first graders, the camera no longer works, no headset on earth fits it, and it's dented in several places from my throwing it across the room while playing Psychonauts (love that game), but darn it all, I just figured out how the menu works.

Anyway, I mention all this because today I got a harsh reminder of just how old my phone is:

Yep, old enough to appear as a plastic toy on a Wreck.

And not just ANY Wreck, but one that's ugly as vomit-streaked sin and suffering from a severe identity crisis to boot. Is it a going-away cake? A birthday cake? Both? "Happy Birthday, Billy. Now Daddy and I gotta go! Bye!"

I could also mention the punctuation, spacing, and CCC issues, but really I just can't get over this phone-clone thing. In fact, I think I need to photograph my phone just to show you I'm not making this up. Check it out:

See? Of course, the fact that I wanted to show off my new Mickey Munny doll had nothing to do with it, Christina B. (But isn't he cute?)

I had a moment of severe phone envy the other day after watching too many commercials for the new iPhone and Blackberry with their cool little games, etc. My phone just, well, makes calls, sends text, and could connect to the internet at a ridiculously slow speed if I really wanted. And yet... that's what it's supposed to do. It's a *phone.*

Oh, and the cake is ugly! I definitely wouldn't have paid more than $12 for it, if even that!

Word verification: defuncr, what many of these cakes are to the intended parties

What an odd inscription. I think this is a cake from some inconsiderate traveling parent that was trying to give a phone order message while talking on another phone.*on phone one* "What's up? Gotta go out of town!" *on phone two* Oh yeah the cake...umm...how about "Happy Birthday"*decorator* Qua?

I'm sure it will come up in other comments here (when they're posted all at once) ... but it appears THIS wreck was something that the original person wouldn't purchase. The inscription is bizarre enough to suggest there was a backstory.

But now it's marked down, and the cake board is scribbled with "Happy Birthday" to try to move it out the door. For that reason, it's one of my favorite wrecks.

That's the best phone ever. I kept mine until AT&T FORCED me to take a free phone because their network wouldn't support that one. After two years, I still haven't had the heart to actually toss the thing.

its okay. i just upgraded, cause someone stole my phone at the mall over x-mas. what any one wanted with the first flip phone with a camera is beyond me. I had it forever, like, 6 years, and in phone world, that's decades. the screen was cracked, you reallly had to push to dial a 2, you know? I think the toy flip phones are fancier. I now have a newer bar phone. I picked it cause it was pretty plain,but it has the Music ID thing, and I didn't expect it to, so thats pretty cool. If it hadn't been stolen, I probably would still be chuggin along with my old one tho. It still worked fine.

I find it hilarious that just the other week, my partner saw the little toy cellphones in our grocery store and commented how much they looked like his phone. I too had an old cellphone until recently (actually I still have it, it just doesn't work anymore) so I upgraded to one that actually is semi-modern - whoo!

Yeah, I still have the first cell phone I ever got - May 2003. No camera. Still works perfectly (even after I dropped it down that flight of concrete steps in college). The battery life is starting to go though...

I think a mid-50's cake decorator was trying to mimic what pre-teens might say on the phone. I took it as a middle school birthday cake for a talkative girl. But the question remains as to why any person with eyes in their head would make a cake in those colors.

I know this is the most unrelated thing, but why are you saving $7.79 and paying $11.69? that means the cake was originally $19.48... and while that may have been a good year for some, it's a really odd price, and an even odder discount... i'm sure there's a mathematical explanation but since the "cake" itself is horrifying, i went for the more hidden befuddlement

My phone was older (from 1998), but two years ago I learned it no longer works in all 50 states . . .

There's a river in the middle of the cake, I'm pretty sure. But whatever the person ordered, which I'm sure was fraught with personal meaning, I think "designers" are charged with making it look okay. Otherwise we'd all make our own cakes, or just murmur something while handing one another Twinkies. (Uh, it needed to be said.)

No amount of retconning can make this worth spending money on. Prying the cupcakes apart and scrambling them like a puzzle, to obliterate any hint of intentional communication, would move them faster.

Guity -- how some wreckerators who can't spell feel at the end of a work day.

Aw, don't feel bad, Jen - I had the exact same phone and only gave it up when my call company offered me a new phone for free (which was about two years ago, but still). Of course, my "new" phone is pretty old by now, too...

Wait - what's wrong with that phone? *I* have that phone. Still works - most of the time. When I get a new one, I'll use it to put on someone's going-away cake. You know, a whole Keep-in-touch - touch.

Ok, I feel old. My first phone was one I inherited from my older sister in the mid nineties. The screen was greenish grey and black. The aerial pulled out. The sim card was the size of a credit card. Camera? Don't be absurd, it barely managed 30x40 monochrome bitmaps! And I have no idea how they got there! And there was no way you could fit it into a pocket unless you were borrowing your clothes from MC Hammer.

It had Snake though. I miss Snake, even if I do have a pretty nifty Sudoku game on my current phone.

I have to laugh too! Just realised that my phone is "older than most 1st graders" too - I was about 3 months pregnant with my current 1st grader when I got it. Still doing fine; on 2nd earphone; might replace the battery some time. I'm using it now to listen to the radio. Phone, text and radio - that was state of the art when I bought it :) And still all I need.

Wonder how long it sat there before it was discounted?? Maybe it started out with different colors & didn't age well - lol. The "vomit-induced sin" remark is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. As always thanks for brightening my day!!

I had my previous cellphone for a few years, and when I went get it upgraded the guy at the store laughed in my face. He said, "You know they don't make these anymore," like it had a rotary dial or something. I got a new phone but it wasn't worth the humiliation.

I was drawn out of my little lurker corner by your mention of Psychonauts. I can't get past the damn meat circus part where the water is rising and my dad is yelling at me... it's very traumatic.

As far as the cake goes, it is horrifying. I can't help but wonder if maybe the wreckarator thinks that "Out of Town" is an expression akin to "Out of sight!" or similar. Otherwise I can't understand why you would write it on a cake.

I've been trying to figure out if it's a river or a road on that cake to take you out of town.To Wrench 0626: I loved Snake. It was about the only game on my phone I could figure out how to play. Alas, the snake..I mean, the phone died and I had to replace it with something that lasted only half as long.

Psychonauts is amazing but the mind-brain-tank-evil battle sequence often causes me to throw random objects around. Usually at my partner who doesn't understand the epic hardness and glory of psychonauts.

Psychonauts made me want to break things.I think if I saw this cake in person and thought about that game, the cake would be smashed onto the floor and would probably look better there than it does here.

Two things.One. I admire your ability to keep your phone in tact for so long. I've gone through at least 6 in the last five years...I'm a little abusive my cell phones. The one I have now though is remarkably sturdy, having withstood paint, water, and multiple cross-room throws. But kudos to you and your cell phone longevity! It's a great thing to have.

Two. Psychonauts is the best game ever. Aside maybe from Portal. Game on! :)

my mum has the same phone!I find it quite hard to use, so I hate having to txt for her on it occasionally.When my dad passed away, my mum say it was lighting up every morning around 6am something (I forget) which is the time my mum wakes my dad up before he passed away. Spooky or coincidence?

Omigosh, it's my phone!! You don't know how happy it makes me to see that someone else is still using that model after all these years - I feel validated! I wonder if that's actually a fake phone on the cake or if someone was inspired when they got a new one after having the Ericsson for so many years?

*walking into grocer's bakery* "Dude! My new phone came today, what should I do with the old one? ...Wait..."

I possessed and CHERISHED that Sony Erickson for years until my sister borrowed and lost it. I still feel a pang of grief when thinking about the loss, so I guess that just adds another dimension of AUGH to this cake.

Don't feel bad, I have the original butterfly keyboard Nokia, AND another just like it purchased unlocked. My carrier keeps wanting me to "upgrade." I always say the same thing: "I LOVE my phone, it does all I tell it to and nothing I don't."

We are not alone and we are not going away.

[Dang, that sounds way tougher than it needs to for a cake blog. Jeepers, uh, let's color it unicorn-ish, ya' know, lighten it up some... I'm shutting up now.]-A.

I also had that phone until a few months ago, when the little controller gave up and I couldn't do anything with the menus anymore. It's a really good phone! It's great that yours is still in working condition.

And about the phone - you mean you have one of those newfangled things with a camera? I bet it has a colour screen too. My unkillable Nokia 3315 is now 6 years old, and has none of that fancy schmancy stuff hehehe.

I had one of those two phones ago. THEY WERE AWESOME. That was like the Nokia 3310 with a camera (which means good, since Nokia 3310's are like indestructible and are probably made of the same stuff they make the black box in planes of)!

*My* cellphone is so old it's got a rotary dial! Okay, not really, but close.Hey, Shahinrani, get a new battery for 10 bucks from Amazon & your phone will be like new! I just did that and now I can make a whole call without the battery dying!

I understand hanging on to your phone completely. My current phone is eight years old, falling to pieces and most of the time the battery dies whenever someone calls it (I can only use it to send texts). I have been given two different new phones, but I just can’t bare to part with it/ do not want to learn how to use a new phone.

I didn't even realize it was a CCC due to the myriad issues it's got going on. I think maybe the inscription was supposed to be a text message convo? But it should have been text speak then, no?

But I totally understand your phone thing. My wireless carrier contacted me to see if I didn't want to get a new phone because one as old as mine (only a preschooler, LOL) can't possibly still work. The sales rep didn't believe me when I said it still works perfectly (and I'd pass on paying more for fewer minutes for the privilege of buying a new phone).

Well, if all you want your phone to do is make calls and you don't really care what it looks like, then what's the point of a new phone. Personally, I'm one of those people who gets a new phone every six months or so.

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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