Blog By Bill: The Poop-Kilt Strategy

June 7, 2014

As some of you may know, Billy’s potty training has not been particularly successful. We started last October, and Billy still never tells us when he needs to poop. He just poops his pants. It’s been eight months.

The limited success that we’ve had has come when we make Billy walk around naked all day, or walk around with just a shirt and no pants, a.k.a. “Pooh-bear-style.” He’s just grown so accustomed to pooping his pants that he has no desire to interrupt his busy day by going to the bathroom. He’d rather just shit his pants and let the chips fall where they may. However, when he knows there is no safety net to catch his poop, he’s more willing to seek out our help and put his poop where it belongs.

The problem with pooh-bear-style is that we haven’t been able to implement this strategy consistently. We are usually out and about on the weekends, and we can’t let Billy rock out with his cock out all day long. That’s where the kilts come in. This coming weekend, Billy and Amelia have a three-day weekend, and Steph and I decided that this is the time to take it up a notch. We will make sure that Billy is free-balling it during all of his waking hours. When at home, he can be naked or pooh-bear, but if we need to leave the house, he’ll be wearing a kilt with no undies.

As a gesture of solidarity, I will also be wearing a kilt. That way, Billy will know that it’s cool to wear a kilt. Don’t worry, I will actually be wearing underpants under my kilt. I can’t decide whether this is a terrible idea or an awesome idea, but it’s definitely a high-risk a high-reward strategy. If we do this for a couple weekends and we end up with a potty-trained three-year-old, it will have been well worth it. On the other hand, we might just end up with a commando-kilt-wearing toddler leaving a trail of poop all over town. If that ends up being the case, then this was all Steph’s idea.