Chattanooga, here we have an example of the current state of Chattanooga politicians that need to be put out-to-pasture, or as I call it, “political pasteurization.” Fire him up high enough and he’ll no longer be a danger.

Let’s take a close look at Jack’s latest statements. Make sure you’re not drinking while you read. Refrain from doing a spit-take, or laughing so hard milk comes out your nose.

Remember, this is a sitting Chattanooga City Councilman, sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States.

“Councilman Benson said the recall against him is “a one-person vendetta.” He said he was referring to Lana Sutton, who has made a number of appearances at council meetings blasting council actions.”

Because Lana called “shenanigans” on your fiscal irresponsibility? On your lock-step, joined-at-the hip, goose-stepping with Il Douche and Kommandant Manfred von Rico? Your failure to release documents concerning City business? Your lack of concern for investigations into illegal activities in Chattanooga? Your recent comments concerning the investigation of Chattanooga City Attorney where you said, ‘ [Benson] did not support the idea of an independent attorney. Checks and balances are already in place. I never did think it was necessary to spend the money.’”

If it’s a vendetta to speak out, to attempt to have you do your sworn obligations, put me in the vendetta column with Lana. I’ll be in good company.

“Councilman Benson said he has not seen any evidence in his district that recall petitions are being distributed.”

Do you not live in your district? Or doesn’t your hat receive terrestrial messages?

“[Benson} said he believes that the recall movement “is making it look like we have turmoil in city government. It’s destabilizing our government.”

Your right, Jack. There is turmoil in Chattanooga over your behavior. I hope it does destabilize your fiefdom, but I’m not seeing riots in the streets, pillaging in East Ridge (unless you count Mayor Steele and Company), and National Guards troops haven’t thrown up a protective corridor around your house (yet).

But if you’re scared of “destabilization”, remember those involved in the “vendetta” will provide you with safe-transportation to a waiting “airplane” outside of Big Lots on Brainerd Road. We’ll even give you a couple of quarters for the trip. (However, you’ll have to make the “airplane” noises yourself.)

[Benson} said, “I don’t believe we would have been able to have landed the Volkswagen plant if this had been going on when we were competing with Huntsville for it.”

That’s right Jack. Volkswagen is scared shitless and is worried about you and your reign over Chattanooga. I’ll bet that VW storm-troopers are across the state-line in Georgia, waiting for the right moment to invade and place you on your rightful throne on 11th Street.

Wait a minute, I’m getting a message . . . . Jack, the Uranusians want to have a sit-down meeting with you. They’ve been observing Chattanooga City Government for several years. Something about bringing a device that will turn bullshit into gold. You’ll be rich!

I told them you have a “pasteurization” coming up and you’ll be available soon.