Walking the beam: Staying balanced when everything in me wants to go full tilt and head first into the crazy!

Bishop Blanks, my spiritual father once described my personality this way..."daughter, you have an uncanny ability to pursue things with a laser focus and tenacity". He was so nice about it! I love him for being gentle with me. My former boyfriend and dear friend Mike described it (my personality) a little differently. He once said..."Temeika, you can be a little OCD. You get really compulsive about some things...but it somehow works for you". He was so honest with me. I didn't like it at the time, but I loved him for it. What they saw in me at the time, that I didn't see in myself yet, was one of my gifts...the ability to focus while in pursuit of a goal. I used to believe that it was only a survivor skill, but as I have grown up, I realize that it is a gift to be cultivated and trained.

The thing that keeps my "laser focused" gift from becoming " a little OCD" is my ability to use it with BALANCE. Bishop Blanks' recognition of this gift in me came with a warning to remain balanced in my pursuits; to control it instead of being controlled by it. He and my friend Mike both saw the potential for this great gift to become a curse for me. I've not ever forgotten their words, given with love and concern. Over the years, I have had to learn how to run hard...but not run crazy.

So what...right? Well, I kind of had a melt down this week. It usually happens when I let my run hard "laser focus" get out of balance...and run crazy. The good thing about being laser focused is the fact that it can only be sustained for short focused periods of time. So, I usually burn out quickly...or melt down. I've been this way since I was a kid, so I recognize the symptoms and know when to pull back.

While I am very goal oriented, I am also conscious of the impact of my pursuits on my physical, mental, and emotional self. While I have not always been this way, I have learned to be about the business of self preservation. So, I am taking brief "selah" to take care of myself.