(JWR) ---- (http://www.jewishworldreview.com)
AMERICA IS AT WAR. Of course, it doesn't feel much like it. That is, of
course, unless you are tuned in to the all-news cable networks that are
happy to bring you a breathless version of "All Kosovo - All the Time."

Future historians will be poring over the main military and political
events in Europe. But after they're done with that, they're going to want
to know what else was going on on the "Home Front" while our boys were
bombing Belgrade.

So before the television footage of the the Kosovo Albanian refugees and
Bill Clinton's commander-in-chief impersonation are relegated to "The
History Channel," I thought it might be useful to examine a few of the
sidelights of life during wartime while our memories are still fresh.
WHO'S THE DUMBEST?ARIK OR MADELEINE
The keenest competition of the war isn't between the warring armies and air
forces or even the network news departments. It's the battle over who would
earn the title of the worst foreign-affairs leader in the free world.

Who's winning? I'd say it's our bumbling and blustering Secretary of State
Madeleine K. Albright, who has bluffed her boss into a war by
underestimating Slobodan Milosevic.

But close behind is Israeli Minister of Foreign Affairs Arik Sharon, who
decided that romancing a country opposing America's war effort - Russia -
would be a smart idea. Sharon's goal may have been winning Russian
immigrant votes in the Israeli election, but it was still a monumentally
foolish idea. Does anyone in Israel really believe they can trust Moscow?

WATCH OUT FOR CHRISTIANNE
If there is anybody connected to this war that scares me, I have to confess
that it isn't Milosevic or even Madeleine Albright. It's CNN Superstar
Christianne Ammanpour.

Ammanpour, who is married to State Department spokesman James Rubin (am I
the only one who finds that connection slightly fishy?), is always present
whenever there's violence anywhere in the world. From Africa to Asia to the
Balkans, if people are getting killed, that woman always seems to be nearby
with a hand-held camera and a disapproving look.

In spite of the fact that she editorializes more than most editorial
writers (her sad expression and tone when Bibi beat Peres in the 1996
Israeli election sticks in my memory), she's a good reporter and ahead of
most of her competition.

But if you ever see her on the street, my advice would be to drop what
you're doing and head for an air-raid shelter. That woman is the television
version of the Angel of Death! If she's around, something bad is about to
happen.

THE WORST WAR-DECLARATION SPEECH
Until now, most students of history have always classified Prime Minister
Neville Chamberlain's speech to the people of Britain telling them they
were at war as the most uninspiring war-declaration speech in history.

Chamberlain, who had done everything in his power to appease the Nazis, was
feeling very embarrassed on Sept. 1, 1939, as the Germans invaded Poland
and thus forcing a British declaration of war. The sorry Chamberlain, who
would become a metaphor for weakness and appeasement, asked his people if
they could imagine how badly he felt! Thanks to him, others would soon feel
worse.

But as pathetic as that speech was, I believe historians will soon move
President Clinton's speech to the American people explaining why we were
going to war in Kosovo as even more pathetic than Chamberlain's.

Clinton pulled out every senseless rationale he could think of - NATO
credibility? European stability? American business? - and managed to mangle
the one he mentioned that made sense - human rights.

And didn't he learn any history at Georgetown or Oxford? World War II did
not start in the Balkans. But an awful lot of Germans got tangled up in the
mountains there before it was all over.

UNUSUAL WAR CRITICS
The Kosovo war has been an uncomfortable time for both liberals and
conservatives. Since this conflict has nothing to do with the usual reasons
America has fought wars, like combating communism and security interests,
many idealogues have been perplexed as to what to think about Mr. Clinton's
war.

My favorite comments come from the opposite sides of the spectrum.

>From the far left comes Philadelphia's favorite cop-killer and former
National Public Radio commentator Mumia Abu-Jamal. Abu-Jamal, who remains
on death row for the 1981 murder of a Philadelphia policeman, sent out an
e-mail message of protest against the war that was forwarded to me.

In case you were interested, Mumia believes the war to be an imperialist
plot to establish American hegemony and oppress minorities. Unlike some
left-wingers, who seem to especially like this war, specifically because it
does not serve American interests, Mumia can't resist the urge to bash
America. Some folks just can't help themselves.

The strange thing is, he is echoing the same arguments about a war for NATO
credibility that Henry Kissinger has been making, albeit from the opposite
side. Who'd have believed they had so much in common?

But one prominent conservative think-tank head told me in confidence that
he viewed the war as a great opportunity because he opposes American
involvement as a senseless and misguided adventure.

"I missed out on the '60s' experience because I was not anti-war then," he
confided. "But I always envied the left-wingers their candlelight vigils
and being able to sing 'Give Peace a Chance.' Now I can sing for peace," he
said with a laugh.

The straight kids always envied the rebels. Peace and love, man.

JEWISH HERITAGE WEEK?
Believe it or not, while the rockets red glare were bursting in air over
Kosovo, Mr. Clinton also took time out from his wartime duties to proclaim
the week of April 18 to 25 as "Jewish Heritage Week."

Never heard of it, you say? I hadn't either, until the fax with this
information direct from the Office of the Press Secretary of the White
House arrived in our newsroom.

The proclamation, issued by William J. Clinton, calls upon all Americans to
"give thanks for all that the Jewish community in America has done to keep
our Nation [sic] free, strong and prosperous."

To that thought, I add my own "amen." I will leave it to commentators more
cynical than I to wonder whether Mr. Clinton is thinking more of those
prominent Jewish donors to his campaigns who have bunked in the Lincoln
Bedroom than of the illustrious history of American Jewry.

That the document is dated the "fourteenth day of April, in the year of our
Lord nineteen hundred and ninety nine," takes a little of the shine off for
Jewish readers, but I guess sometimes you just shouldn't read the fine
print.

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