Do the trappings of success cause more problems than they’re worth?

The other day I was on Facebook, reading all the business updates of the companies I follow.

One of the owners had proudly mentioned her business being featured on TV. She had already been posting a running commentary on Facebook during the filming which made for a fascinating read. Lots of her followers were engaged by her exciting stories and it was plain to see that they were really happy for her.

Then someone asked if she would post some of the photos she had taken as she had met quite a few famous people in the process. She replied that she wasn’t sure, as it felt like showing off!

Most women don’t enjoy showing off online

It is understandable — we often hide our light under a bushel as we are brought up to be modest and not boast about our achievements. But as too much modesty may actually hold women back in business the question is, what do you do when you are proud of your achievements? Is there a right and wrong? Especially when it comes to communicating on social media…

Not long after the original post, the page owner’s follower number went down noticeably — quite a few people had unliked her page. Needless to say she felt distraught; it was proof to her that her success had suddenly made her unpopular. I really felt for her and tried to remind her that she had worked hard for her moment of fame and that she deserved her success and everything that came with it!

Success can make others jealous!

Isn’t it funny? Success is something most people aspire to, but when someone suddenly achieves it, it can cause a lot of mixed emotions! It can be really disheartening when people are jealous and downplay all the hard work that’s gone on behind the scenes. How often have you heard someone saying, “They’ve just been lucky”?

I wonder if some people just can’t cope with the fact that they are not on a par with the person they think the successful person is becoming. After all, even if people don’t change who they are, success may impact how they do things. Financial success, for example, can improve your lifestyle visibly by changing the number of holidays you take, where you buy your clothes or the type of car you drive.

Success can be fake too!

Interestingly you also have the ‘fakers’ — people who show off their flashy cars or expensive designer clothes, whose lifestyle in reality is funded on credit. So the way we think of success and how others think of it, is laden not only with emotion but also, potentially, very different perceptions of the world we live in.

Why you should stay true to your own goals

What we mustn’t forget though is that the trappings of success are just superficial and have nothing to do with the real person underneath!

When you stay true to yourself there is probably no right and wrong, even in social media. If being authentic means sharing your pride in your achievements, then share it.

And if you want to keep your success quiet, because it feels right, that’s ok too. Just try not to let fear hold you back — fear of not being liked by people who will be the wrong followers or friends for you anyway. People who are probably too guided by their own inadequacy or fears, to be able to appreciate others.

Letting go of the wrong people who don’t respect you — successful or not — allows you to surround yourself more with the right people, the kind of people who can see beyond the ‘trappings’, who like you, who will be happy for you and celebrate with you when the time comes!

Ute Wieczorek-King is an experienced trainer, mentor and business coach who specialises in helping busy women to be more more focused, effective and profitable in business.

2 Responses

A really interesting post, Ute. What a shame that success can’t be celebrated and enjoyed by all, especially those who follow growing businesses with a keen interest. Building a business can take a lot of energy and I think it’s worth saving some of that energy for celebrating success. Let’s hope the lady concerned receives lots of ‘Hurrahs and Well dones’ from her ‘faithful followers’ 🙂

Thanks for your comment Mary! I totally agree- everyone should be open to celebrating their own and other people’s success. Shame we can’t just ‘outlaw’ envy and the negative perceptions around success 🙂