That Joseph Gordon Levitt had this underneath his clothes? Penis duel with Michael Cera, he wins this battle non? Don’t think Michael Cera hits the gym. Obviously Joseph Gordon Levitt has been working out. Full Story

Once upon a time, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe presented together at the Oscars. He told her to open the envelope because she made more money. Many raised eyebrows. I took it as a joke. But as her star began to climb, as she became one of the highest paid, most popular actresses in Hollywood, so his sulky carby face began to make more and more appearances. Full Story

A fried rice day indeed. The press screening was at 8:30am. Here’s how it works: thousands of journalists are accredited every year for the Cannes Film Festival. We’re able to view films at scheduled press screening times but only on a first come first serve basis colour coded by badge. For the more popular films, queuing early is critical, even if your badge is one of the higher levels. Full Story

After a visit to The Hague, the Jolie arrived in Cannes yesterday to join Brad for dinner with the Inglourious Basterds team debunking yet again tabloid reports of a split or a meltdown. My sources say it’ll be a quick trip for Angelina. She’s taken 2 days off shooting, will join Brad on the carpet tonight, then goes back to New York to resume work while he stays here for press Thursday and Friday before returning home for1 the weekend. Full Story

For Pam W., Don't worry you'll be 29 forever and you are younger than me! Have fun and sorry I can't be there. From your gossip and archaeology buddy Kelly. Happy Birthday Pamela W from Jennifer, Luiza, and Juliette who requested this gift – Cavalli in a speedo. Enjoy! Is the same person Pamela? Your friends LOVE you! And for Emily who is pining for summertime, the cottage, and cuddles from Mrs Madeleine. Full Story

Am writing from “the office” at Cannes – the Vitamin Water Lounge across from the Carlton, site so far of the most well attended party on the Croisette two nights ago and they will host yet another one this evening. Just came from Penelope Cruz presser for Los Abrazos Rotos. The gala is tonight. We’re trying to get to a screening this afternoon. Heard it’s amazing.

Penelope has been suffering from food poisoning but has recovered her gorgessity in time. Pene is tiny, and makes small elegant gestures, and smiles mysteriously when Pedro Almodovar says something only she understands. Beguiling. Much more so than in the media room at the Oscars when she went on forever and I was hungry.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are expected soon for their poker tournament, just in time for a reunion with Brad Pitt. Will be another busy night. Pitt’s gala is tomorrow so the Croisette is on high alert. Ann Curry had breakfast where we did this morning – she’s here for Inglourious Basterds and there’s buzz she’ll sit down with the Jolie too. Just buzz, nothing slamdumk. Oh the Brange. It’s like the festival hasn’t really started until now.

Is it Tuesday? Am straddling time zones, so confused. Blogging all day. More Twilight exclusive photos.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. How about a vampire drama that doesn’t give you blue balls and won’t make you cringe? Have you tasted True Blood? You MUST. HBO’s True Blood Season 1 is out on DVD today and I have FIVE copies to be given away to those who want to be bitten. Heh. If you’re interested, please send an email to [email protected] with TRUE BLOOD as the title before midnight pacific Friday May 22nd. Standard terms apply.

Very rare! Squee! Last night at the Chopard event, Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet walked together, and held hands. Love them so much. So f-cking beautiful. This afternoon we were on our way to a meeting, he and 2 associates walked right by us, no security, no fanfare, totally unusual for Cannes, so I tripped. Full Story

I commented on Twitter yesterday that it feels like Willem Dafoe has to be naked in every one of his movies. Obviously an exaggeration. But he’s naked a lot. He’s also a sexy beast. And, yes, he’s very very naked in his new movie Antichrist which screened at Cannes yesterday and is by far the most controversial film of the festival so far. Full Story

First - Kirsten Stewart in Vancouver on Monday, day after the New Moon wrap party, where my sources say she was smoking some BC bud, on her way in and out of a hair appointment looking like it was a rough night. Or a great night. Pretty much what Laura and I look like now. Except for us it’s been 4 nights in a row. Full Story

What's Cannes like? How deep is the Eurocheese? What does it look like? What does it smell like? Sometimes words are inadequate. And if you've never come here, this just about sums it up. Roberto Cavalli. Enjoy the amazingness. Photos from Flynetonline.comFull Story