Journeys of Jackman ..The wanderings, musings, learning and thoughts from one man who woke up

A few more thoughts

So a little time has passed since I wrote and posted anything on this site. But of course life runs on a pace, the journey continues unabated whether we wish it or no.

I for my part have spied one or two more things as I journey onward

Firstly, it has become apparent to me that all of the learning in the world counts for naught if you do not both put it into action, and moreso demonstrate that you are doing so

Secondly, that in relational and personal conduct the areas of yourself that you most need 'wound repair', or for me that means simply change, are inevitably those with the deepest programming, and so therefore the hardest to address

Thirdly, that just because you move toward a different view of how things are, and how they might be, this means absolutely nothing to anyone but you. Every other living thing has their own view of how things are, and how they might be. I think sometimes that alliances are formed, of convenience, of similarity, or most often within the oppression of what Al Turtle calls 'The master slave symbiosis' but never because two people see the world in exactly the same way

These things happen in the work place, between parents and children, siblings and friends, but I see them most apparent in relationship dynamics, an alliance appears to me a temporary arrangement to suit two or more parties, it is not an absolute conviction that one way is the right way, one truth is the right truth.....

I had sincerely thought that by listening and learning (being I consider a reasonably smart fellow) that the next phase would be......well relatively easy

Let me share...........tis not

I recognise now that I have spent entirely too much of the last two or three years trying to learn theory, and entirely too little of the same period actually practicing and demonstrating that learning in fact. Quite simply I believe that I could not move from conflict to friendship dialogue until two things happened. First STOP the language of blaming, second validate that everyone will have a different view than mine, and that is great cos theirs and mone are ALL equally valid, and lastly LISTEN so that you may understand that view. Whether silent, chattering like a brook, or whatever, people are always communicating their sense, and if you keep imposing yours, then how can you hear theirs?

So not demonstrating what I learn proves a slippery slope, one that can send me sliding back to the ignomy of that woeful wounded soul I am working hard to heal.

So what now?

Well I guess I could give up, let go my aspirations, call it all poppy cock and return to the myopic world of my lizard, filled with fight, flight, freeze, submit.....driven for the most part by fear and panic, prelude judgements of a future that has not come, and a past of recrimination and resentment

I could blame, and so seek solace from my own imperfections, by holding others accountable

But I find myself a more stubborn character these days, and I have for a time now believed in 'all or nothing'

I believe it is good to let go of the future, and to acknowledge, but move on from the past, to forgive forgive forgive.....

So I pick myself up, dust myself down, forgive even myself my mistakes, and set forth to be better, to try harder, to arrive at The Vintage Love pavillion, and leave the fear tent once and for all

In the end I believe EVERY choice we make is quite simply one of Love or Fear.

I choose LOVE
This is what I am learning
David Jackman September 2015

Freedom to Think

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Thomas More once wrote - 'It seems wrong to deprive someone else of a pleasure so that you can enjoy one yourself. But to deprive yourself of a pleasure so that you can add to someone else's enjoyment is an act of humanity from which you always gain more than you lose'. Tis my message to all who find themselves 'clinging' precariously to the hope of re-connecting with some one in 'avoidance'. I think that the giving and the work upon yourself may ultimately be reward enough