Ted Cruz -- you can't just renounce Canada and become U.S. President; where're the Birthers?

So Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz is running for President of the United States.

As a Democrat, this prospect is cause to celebrate. I’m planning to treat myself to a jumbo yellow cupcake. Monday was Christmas. Ted Cruz is a gift to the Democrats for 2016. His quest to be the leader of the free world is his own personal Mission: Impossible.

What does Ted Cruz have in common with Tom Cruise? I’m so glad you asked. One: both men absolutely love the spotlight. Two: both men are actors. Three: Both star in Mission: Impossible. Four: Neither one of them will be the American President any time soon – if ever.

Where are the Senate subcommittee hearings? Why is Tom Cotton as quiet as a field mouse? Someone page Darrell Issa, stat. I find the silence on Cruz’s citizenship deafening.

It’s a well-documented fact that he was born in Calgary, Canada on December 22nd, 1970. I’ve seen a copy of his birth certificate with my own eyes. The last time I checked, Canada – though our neighbor to the north – is still a foreign country.

Is there not still a federal constitutional prohibition on naturalized persons running for President and Vice President of the United States on the books? Was that law secretly changed?

Did Cruz somehow obtain a special dispensation exempting him from that constitutional prohibition while I slept? If so, who granted him that exemption?

The Republicans are so quick to use their catch-all phrases of “left-wing media,” “lamestream media,” or “liberal press bias.” Curiously, the media hasn’t mentioned a peep about Cruz’s citizenship lately.

The fact that he renounced his life-long Canadian citizenship status last year can’t retroactively change the fact he was born there. I find this especially ironic since Cruz was a mouthpiece for the Tea Party birther crowd – that fringe faction of the GOP which still believes that President Obama was born in Kenya, and therefore not legitimately our American President.

The exact same law Cruz and his Tea Partiers used to question the President’s status as an American citizen hasn’t been applied to him. Mr. Spock of Star Trek would say, “Fascinating.”

Wednesday’s TT-E front page rant of the day stated: “Sen. Cruz probably can't win, but at least he will drive the debate toward some areas that desperately need to be discussed.”

Cruz probably can’t win? That’s akin to saying Mariah Carey can sing a little bit, fellow Thomasvillian. As far as Cruz driving the debate, that’s precisely what he’s going to do. Do you like Pink Floyd, friend? I hope so – because Ted Cruz is going to singlehandedly drag the 2016 Republican presidential candidates kicking and screaming to the right of the dark side of the moon. Thinking conservatives know Cruz is the wrong man at the wrong time.

Ted Cruz is in Texas-sized trouble. He just doesn’t know it yet.

One enormous problem for Cruz is his unwillingness or inability to silence his own father. Cruz’s father’s rhetoric is far too inflammatory and damaging for anyone truly interested in being POTUS to have to defend. Cruz will now be held to account for every word his father says about President Obama, Cuba, and America’s place in the world.

Did you forget that Cruz threw every House Republican under the bus in the fall of 2013 before and during the 16-day government shutdown? They didn’t.

Cruz set the whole thing in motion, then blamed Speaker Boehner and House conservatives once it happened – becoming one of the most despised members of Congress in the process. The best time for political enemies within your party to exact their revenge is while you’re running for president via fundraising or running/plotting against you. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

I’d love to see Cruz win the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. I’d pay money to see him debate Hillary Clinton. She would eat his breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in-between snacks. Cruz has sound bites and talking points. Clinton has substance and experience. I’ll take substance and experience for $1000, Alex.

Cruz will have to answer for siding with Russian President Vladimir Putin and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu over President Obama. Cruz’s personal crusades to repeal the Affordable Care Act, prohibit immigration reform, and condemn America’s negotiations with both Cuba and Iran will hurt him – especially since he has no real solutions of his own regarding those burning issues. Cuban Americans will be particularly interested since Cruz himself is of Cuban heritage.

Cruz is applying for Obamacare? Oy vey! The Tea Party will not understand.

Simply put, the math isn’t there for Cruz. If he can’t get at least some Democrats and Independents to vote for him – it’s over. He can’t, by the way.