It’s just one of those days today for me… you know, when you have to get away from yourself. Although, if you think about it, this is quite impossible to accomplish. Either way, it’s one of those days today for me when you either have to flee yourself, or find yourself, I don’t quite know, you don’t quite know, but we both know the feeling I am describing.

You feel restless all day and you walk around or drive around in a neurotic state until you find that one spot in the world where you make sense for yourself. You feel like a little bird, flying and looking around until you find that one branch that you can perch on, in a distant forest. But you don’t even know what place you are looking for, until you find it. You’re just looking for the place where the world makes sense and with the place you know you will find peace of mind. You just gotta search for it, you know. You simply must, on those particular days. Otherwise you’d be betraying the world by being somewhere, where you don’t even feel like you belong.

But as you’re thinking all this, you are walking at an uneasy pace. In fact you have been, for almost an hour. But now you’ve found your place. You’ve arrived. It’s a coffee shop. The waitness says hi, and adds your name. She smiles. You order coffee. You get a table by the window, stretch your arms out on the table, and lean your head down. You slowly start turning the coffee cup, looking at it from an angle. You feel better now. Everything will be okay. Everything is okay. You are okay. Things start to become easier to understand, looking from this spot by the window of a coffee shop, with your head turned in an angle to try to comprehend the world.

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Sometimes I’m a hypocrite. And it’s usually after I say something critical about a certain thing. It’s like, subconsciously, I feel the need to experience it for myself. I don’t know.

“Beyond the beauty of external forms, there is more here: something that cannot be named, something ineffable, some deep, inner, holy essence. Whenever and wherever there is beauty, this inner essence shines through somehow. It only reveals itself to you when you are present.”