Digital Parenting Tips for your Students’ Parents

Any tutor or tutoring company should compile or have available some information for the parents of their students regarding digital parenting. This is especially true if you are offering online sessions!

With Cyber Bullying on the rise and the new CSI Cyber series illustrating just how far someone with malicious intent can go, this is a subject that all parents should be aware of, at least the basics. Small children and teens cannot understand the longevity of internet interactions and the consequences of same.

If you don’t have literature for your parents, give them the link to this article.

It sounds simple, but the number one indicator of good digital parenting is keeping an open line of communication going with your kids. Talk early and often. It is not like the birds and the bees discussion. It is more like an ongoing dialogue that will move and shift as your child works her way through several key developmental stages. Stay calm. Be open and direct. But keep talking.

2. Educate yourself

This is probably the first technological era in human history where the kids are leading the adults. It is very humbling to have a 7-year-old explain how to upload a video. Or your teen rolling his eyes once again as you try to master Pandora. But there is a wealth of tips, videos, explanations and guides out there. If in doubt, simply type in your question or concern in your favorite search engine and there will be more than enough information to go on.

3. Use parental controls

It goes without saying that there is content on the Internet you don’t want your kids stumbling upon. All of the major operating systems, search engines, cell phone providers and gaming platforms provide either free or inexpensive parental controls to help you manage your kid’s online experience. And, as your kids get older, move from controls to monitoring tools, particularly around time limits to discourage texting in class or vamping late at night.

4. Set ground rules and apply sanctions

Many parents don’t know where to start in creating rules of the road for their kid’s digital use. But there are many online safety contracts to choose from as well as simple house rules, such as no devices at dinner and handing in their phones at night. Once you’ve set the rules, enforce them. Let your kids know that they will lose online privileges if they break the rules and be clear and consistent about what those sanctions will be.

5. Friend and follow, but don’t stalk

When your teen opens her Facebook account at 13, ensure you’re her first friend. Follow your kids on Twitter and YouTube. Don’t overdo it and leave daily comments, but don’t under do it, either. It’s good to stay close as your teen makes his first forays into the world of social media. But don’t be tempted to spy on your kids, either. Talking instead of stalking is what builds trust. Give your teen some space to experiment, to take (healthy) risks and to build resiliency.

6. Explore, share and celebrate

With the rules and tools in place, don’t forget to just go online with your kids. Play games, watch videos, share photos and generally hang out with your children online. Learn from them and have fun. Share your favorite sites and download their apps. See the world through their eyes. And let them know your values and beliefs as you guide them on their way.

Be Aware of What Your Kids are Doing Online
Establish Rules about Technology Use
Understand School Rules

Be Aware of What Your Kids are Doing Online

Talk with your kids about cyberbullying and other online issues regularly.

Know the sites your kids visit and their online activities. Ask where they’re going, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with.
Tell your kids that as a responsible parent you may review their online communications if you think there is reason for concern. Installing parental control filtering software or monitoring programs are one option for monitoring your child’s online behavior, but do not rely solely on these tools.
Have a sense of what they do online and in texts. Learn about the sites they like. Try out the devices they use.
Ask for their passwords, but tell them you’ll only use them in case of emergency.
Ask to “friend” or “follow” your kids on social media sites or ask another trusted adult to do so.
Encourage your kids to tell you immediately if they, or someone they know, is being cyberbullied. Explain that you will not take away their computers or cell phones if they confide in you about a problem they are having.

Establish Rules about Technology Use

Establish rules about appropriate use of computers, cell phones, and other technology. For example, be clear about what sites they can visit and what they are permitted to do when they’re online. Show them how to be safe online.

Help them be smart about what they post or say. Tell them not to share anything that could hurt or embarrass themselves or others. Once something is posted, it is out of their control whether someone else will forward it.

Encourage kids to think about who they want to see the information and pictures they post online. Should complete strangers see it? Real friends only? Friends of friends? Think about how people who aren’t friends could use it.

Tell kids to keep their passwords safe and not share them with friends. Sharing passwords can compromise their control over their online identities and activities.

Understand School Rules

Some schools have developed policies on uses of technology that may affect the child’s online behavior in and out of the classroom. Ask the school if they have developed a policy.

Tech Boundaries

Parent Further has the following advice for reducing tech time for children:

Researchers have now discovered why it’s essential for parents to place boundaries on their kids’ electronic use. Kids who don’t have boundaries with technology:

• Have trouble sleeping and get less sleep.
• Exercise less and are more prone to obesity.
• Do less homework.
• Read less.
• Spend less time with their families.
• Have a harder time making good decisions because of the information overload.

Too many electronics in a child’s bedroom can be a distraction. They can wake up at night because one of their friends is calling their cell phone, or the light-emitting aspect of electronics can keep them from getting a good night sleep.

Research also shows that kids—and adults—who use these items too close to bedtime have a harder time falling asleep.

So, in our home, cell phones get turned off and placed on the digital-charging station in our dining room. Our kids aren’t allowed to have computers or TVs in their bedrooms. We also set limits on computer and TV use by turning these items off one hour before bedtime.

Naturally, my kids have pushed back against these boundaries. They have friends who have the entire electronic setup in their bedrooms. They complain that they have to walk to the basement to use a computer.

Your child may be telling you that you’re the only parent who sets boundaries on technology usage, but research will tell you otherwise! One study found that 88 percent of parents agreed about the importance of boundary setting. The problem, however, is that most parents aren’t sure how to place boundaries without setting off war with their kids. Here are some ideas:

1. Begin by talking with your kids about how you want them to succeed. They need to eat well, get exercise, do their homework, and get enough sleep. You also want them to have fun and stay connected to their friends, but having access to electronic devices around the clock won’t help them succeed. In fact, the older my kids gets, the more I tell them about the dangers of being wired 24/7 to electronic devices.

Tip: It helps to have a place for charging electronic devices, a place outside of bedrooms. In our home, we don’t allow electronic devices in anyone’s bedroom—including the parents. (A lot of adults are suffering from sleep deprivation because of the electronic devices in their bedrooms.)

2. Talk about the benefits of electronics so that your kids will know that you’re not anti-technology. It’s great that the Internet can be helpful with homework. I don’t know how I would have helped my son the other day with dimensional analysis without the Internet. It’s great to stay in touch with a cell phone. It’s wonderful to be able to listen to the music that you want on your mp3 player. We love watching movies, whether they’re on TV, a DVD, or bought from the iTunes store.

Tip: What matters is to be clear what your overall goal is with your kids: You want them to grow up well. Electronic devices can help them get there, if those devices don’t rule their lives at all hours of the day. Successful people know their limits, and they learn their limits with electronic devices.

Manage your afterschool enrichment or care business with Oases Online. From scheduling, billing, payments, testing and progress reporting with or without an online virtual classroom.

Kath Thoresen

Katharine brings over fifteen years of customer service trouble shooting, process analysis and training experience to her position of Operations Manager at Oases Online. She's responsible for training new customers, providing assistance, guidance and tutorials to existing customers.