The Opposite Of Hoverhand: Hineyhand

Ah, hoverhand, that most identifiable of nervous, self-conscious beta male tells. Do you hover, body or hand? If you do, you must stop doing it so that women can begin to perceive you as a more attractive man, i.e. a man with a functional penis. Once you stop hovering, you may move on to step two: slyly placing your hand on or near a girl’s erogenous zones. What’s that? You’re afraid? Do not be afraid. Fear leads to beta. Beta leads to bitterness. Bitterness leads to involuntary celibacy.

Say again? Now you’re afraid a praying man-chin feminist will bite your head off if you put your hand on her in a less than obsequious manner? Silly fledgling. If you aren’t brusque about it, no woman will do that. Not even a feminist. Instead, the feminist will secretly enjoy your privileged sexual predations, and will only realize a day later after you have ignored her calls and text messages that she succumbed to an alpha male, whereupon her indignation will rise like froth in a stew of mashed ego gruel, and she will write a livid blog post about the asshole PUA she supposedly couldn’t care less for who can’t stop thinking about her.

Some of you burgeoning ladyslayers are wondering, “Where do I put my hand, then?”. Glad you asked! Here’s a graphic catered to the visual orientation preference of men.

The guy in the top left pic is headed toward LJBF land, if he isn’t there already. Beta. The guy in the bottom right is scared of his own shadow. Lesser beta with delusions of grandeur. The guy in the bottom left is doing it just right. Not too much grabass, like the boyfriend in the top right, but just enough to escalate her sexual response without triggering her egg protection protocol. As the night wears on and the seduction deepens, you should move your hand into previously inviolable regions. You’re on the right track if you can feel ass crack. As a reader says,

The guy at the waistline [bottom left] has to choose: up and out, or down and in.

Up and out, or down and in? Alpha male problems.

Where is the omega male’s hand? Why, feverishly pumping his pud ‘twixt forefinger and thumb!

Anyway, bridged it over for the lessons. Shield gone. Take them sitting down in easy chair.

The mentor’s book, editor GBFM…available soon? Know a great read before it’s ready. Amiable apprentice will likely keep dust off cover. Although have managed well enough on own terms without formula.

Other commenters appreciated as great too. Learned lots and with more than can be absorbed in one sitting. Given the genre, unique community and while in it, some of you guys rock. (group bromance?…give it up)

Point taken, though. Know audience, take the heat if it applies.
Shield still down.

submit for your approval.
As a young man I’d see a fellow enter a club w/ his arm around a babe and I’d think he was “guarding” his girlfriend from the other males, like me.
After I matured and settled down I’d take my wife out and I’d proudly drape my arm, hand around her.
See I had got it!
Now I understand that wrapping your arm around your girl is not nervously guarding her from others but actually presenting her to the crowd, indeed showing off your catch, staking your claim to your prize.
Funny how a change in perspective can alter the meaning of similar actions.

As a young man I’d see a fellow enter a club w/ his arm around a babe and I’d think he was “guarding” his girlfriend from the other males (…) Now I understand that wrapping your arm around your girl is (…) staking your claim to your prize.

I’m not in the market for an argument, but I’m pretty sure that you just circled back around and tapped yourself on your own shoulder.

Got my ass grabbed twice by random girls in clubs, and I know at least of one time my friend had his ass grabbed by a nasty hippo of a girl in a rock concert.

I take it as a testament that my gym membership is paying off.
And since ass is the most resilient part of human body (huge pile of muscles and bones, no vital organs or major nerve centers) – it’s an indiscretion that I am ok with forgiving once.

Hahaha, that link is great! I guess I don’t browse facebook enough because I never knew that was a thing. Even back in my lesser days photographs were the perfect excuse to get some physical contact with a lady. Has betadom really devolved so far that dudes are afraid to touch girls in photos?

What about the Insecure Bro type whose idea of PDA is leading his gf around in a headlock?
I’ve seen this shit. Is it overcompensation?

[Heartiste: Depends on the level of self-aware humor injected into the headlock. There is confident leading, and then there is insecure mate guarding. The eyes and facial expression of the man usually gives away which of the two conditions he is operating under.]

I read through about half the ‘You go, girl!’ comments – it was interesting to see how the blog owner (Scalzi?) dealt with commenters who posted opinions apparently contrary to his own worldview. Rather than simply hold those comments in moderation, he allowed them to be posted but only after he had deleted the content of the offending comment and replaced it with his feeble explanation of why it had been deleted.

I take it this is considered acceptable debate protocol among leftoids…

[…] Say again? Now you’re afraid a praying man-chin feminist will bite your head off if you put your hand on her in a less than obsequious manner? Silly fledgling. If you aren’t brusque about it, no woman will do that. Not even a feminist. Instead, the feminist will secretly enjoy your privileged sexual predations, and will only realize a day later after you have ignored her calls and text messages that she succumbed to an alpha male, whereupon her indignation will rise like froth in a stew of mashed ego gruel, and she will write a livid blog post about the asshole PUA she supposedly Source: Chateau Heartiste […]

i’m leary about letting her do the face cause i might need her to do some shit and not be all fucked up looking on the other hand it would be interesting
it is tempting she got my name on side of neck allready
anyone had laser romoval on tats does it work?

Laser doesn’t work that well, you have to do it repeatedly until you get results – it fades it out, but no completely. But can you do laser on your face without scarring? Who tattoos their face? I’m incredulous!

my chick wants gregi full name property across her forehead inside her lower lip lol
she might be just playing course thats how the neck thing started when she wanted me to eat her pussy i said i only do that for chicks i marry then i gave her some leway and said if you tattoo my name on you
i even tried to discourage her from putting it on her neck to be the “kind” guy but she wanted everyone to see it.

For the love of God, don’t let her do it. She’ll look hideous and then you won’t want her anymore. She is crazy that one; watch her carefully so that she doesn’t do anything stupid.

Even if she tells you it’s not your decision, don’t let her do it. Threaten you will leave her; that will stop her cold in her tracks. Besides, she shouldn’t be telling you something isn’t your decision if you know what I mean.

I saw that. That is not alpha, that is abusive. Any man who truly loves women and beauty would not destroy such a girl, even if she did so willingly. She’s what? 20? How were your life choices at that age? Were you a bastion of wisdom? The modern world offers no guidance and I cannot fault an idiot girl for acting accordingly.

That is not alpha, that is abusive. (…) She’s what? 20? How were your life choices at that age? (…) I cannot fault an idiot girl for acting accordingly. (…) The guy who did that to her is a monster. He destroyed her.

Ladies (if you still exist) and Gentleman (if you still care), I present to you the much-lauded hamster.

[Heartiste: I understand where Flavia is coming from. Of course, the guy didn’t *do* anything to her she didn’t do to herself. However, a woman in love is a weak creature, and can be manipulated into all sorts of acts of self-abnegation. It is beyond reason that this man would coax her into self-mutilation; he has participated, however tangentially, in the ruination of her looks, and while that might help keep other men away from poaching her, it also diminishes the pleasure he receives from loving her and being loved by her. Was the guaranteed fidelity worth it? There are some prices too high to pay.]

yea heart i haven’t pushed it ie. paid for it to be done
it might be going to far but she the one that brought the whole fucking body tat up with my name so i am basically the discourager
but i mean absolute power corrupt absolutely may not be true i haven’t allowed her to get the face coverage

yea just asked her if she still wanted to go get that tattoo on her face and she put on her coat and said yea and was pulling me out the door
she said it wasen’t my descision it was hers she can get it with or without me he he he

your thining scarcity on the fidelity
i think it is more a way of keeping the man around
after she got my name on her neck like that i took her more serious
and was harder to kick her to curb
imagine how hard if her whole body is a testament to you

Flavia I agree with you that “Any man who truly loves women and beauty would not destroy such a girl, even if she did so willingly.” He’s a criminal if he coerced her, especially when most of us know they’ll break up in no time flat, and her misery at having her face mutilated for him will probably drive her to killing herself. What man would look at her when she has been clearly marked by another?

BUT, I take issue with this statement of yours; you’re being to lenient:

“She’s what? 20? How were your life choices at that age? Were you a bastion of wisdom? The modern world offers no guidance and I cannot fault an idiot girl for acting accordingly. “

Please, some of us younger people are not so clueless and devoid of wisdom. You don’t need a lot of guidance to have common sense. The fact this girl has none, tells me her background is trash. No values. She wasn’t raised right, and that’s at the crux of the issue – lack of old-fashioned values.

And CH is right. The every act of mutilating her face for the benefit that other men not look at her, is the very reason his love will diminish. I don’t think these two will live happily ever after.

Anyway, if this is the caliber of today’s woman, no wonder she isn’t worth anything more than a quick fuck and dump. Carry on guys!

Oh, I certainly agree that the girl is a dope and most people with common sense would not do this.

My argument comes from the lack of social shaming and positive examples from the aristocracy that would have made such an act, or frankly such a subculture completely null and void. To the contrary, every minute of every day we are told to place no value judgement on any action and just “be ourselves” (whatever the fuck that means).

She will be miserable because she is “free.”

I am curious to see how the story will pan out. She is responsible for it yes, but considering the modern influences of the world, I just can’t put all the blame on her. And further, she will suffer more than enough for her actions. Makes me a bit ill to think about, poor girl.

There is not much a woman wouldn’t do for the man she loves, including flouting examples from the aristocray. While I understand the horror we think we would feel had we done this to ourselves, she won’t feel this until she falls out of love with him. I find it interesting that his face is tattooed as well. They are now a match set. Perhaps getting hers was a variation on a wedding band. One can only hope they stay happily together forever.

“My argument comes from the lack of social shaming and positive examples from the aristocracy that would have made such an act, or frankly such a subculture completely null and void.”

Absolutely. Every subculture should be shamed and crushed. There was a time homosexual was a subculture and look where it is now: on the threshold of full equality.

Likewise, it’s very hard for people with tattoos to get decent respectable jobs, but eventually it will become acceptable to cover your body in tattoos and piercings, especially when TV shows make it popular and acceptable. So you are right about the aristocracy encouraging it. Many children are raised by pop culture (friends, school, TV, movies, music), not parents, and that’s the problem today.

If you are both seated on a chair, then there is now where to touch her but up. This is for cases where both parties are standing. I always guide a girl by her waist. But that’s just instinctual ain’t it?

The seriousness is awesome, like they think he’s actually mad or trying etc, they don’t understand that he just fucks around mostly for the stories. When he’s txting one girl “eat a dick go kill yourself” he’s txting another girl in his rotation to come over. Girl’s can’t wrap their heads around not being the center of the universe though so they all bust out the grrl power “you showed HIM, girlfriend!!” celebrations like he’s in any way affected by the whole thing. “He takes every girl to the same place!!! We caught him!!!! AND he says the same line to each girl!! I bet he sure is embarassed NOW!!” Like, no lol he is just fucking around. The guy flies around the world picking up girls live on bootcamps every week and there are vids of him fucking girls in the rape van. Not a single fuck is given lol

“Tyler Wrote:
I was out with Julien tonight who is green with envy about Jeff getting all the attention and opportunities to create drama with girls.

He’s planning to send Katie video links of himself like “If you thought Jeff was bad, LOOK AT THIS GUY!!””

lol. My fav is the first comment on the Jezzie article is:

“I’m amazed at how often these stories mention “red flag” or “I should have left then”.
I don’t understand how this guy who sounds so repulsive in every aspect is getting all of these dates. I have to assume that his tactics are working on a number of women and that the outliers are the ones who turn him down, otherwise he wouldn’t keep doing the same thing, right? I’ve dated 9 women in my life, married 2 of them, and slept with 5. And I’m like Brad Pitt compared to this guy. I just don’t get it.”

Jeffy is sort of a special-case, he’s basically exploring a life-long experiment in “how much of a complete and total piece of shit can you come across to girls, and still get laid”. Like no other PUA does the stuff he does and he revels in making it worse and worse. No one thought the Rape Van would work for real, he was just fucking around and it was basically an experiment, but as they ran into success despite it, it slowly grew into this fucked up thing where it’s like “uhhh okay, no one expected this result but somehow girls will fuck in a rape van…wtf?? How much worse can we make it, lets draw a pedobear on the outside and stencil silhouettes on it for each chick we bang, THAT’S got to make girls not want to go in it right? …nope?? Wtf??? Okay let’s try to be even shittier!”

This is the kind of stuff PUAs have been doing to shatter limiting beliefs. Now we break down exactly WHY does the rape van work? There’s a video about it where Jeffy or Tyler is talking about how the rape van is just an escape, a fantasy world, so girls can let go in it because it doesn’t count as reality etc etc and we can apply those principles to other parts of game…like building comfort/rapport in a way where the girl feels she’s in a fantasy world (like if Brad Pitt swooped in and whisked her away to Paris).

This is the stuff that progresses pickup an an understanding of social dynamics. These are the guys putting themselves out there and trying the impossible just to gather information and pass it on. This is why I hold RSD above most other groups, because they’re exploring the art (the good and bad) while like, the SoSuave guys are calling thenselves Don Juans or the Roosh Forum are circle-jerking eachother about EE.

Jeffy has been google’able as a self-proclaimed scumbag in the SF Area for YEARS but all it does it make girls intrigued and he gets laid off the notoriety. Is he banging classy 10s and shit? Probably not, I mean he went out with a Jezzie writer eww, but 1) he has a known reputation from way back for banging fatties so he’s not claiming to go for the hotties like other instructors do and 2) like I say, he’s kind of a social experiment lol

Like if this piece of shit can be the biggest scumbag in the world and basically do everything he can think of to sabotage himself and STILL get his dick wet…what the fuck is holding anyone else who’s got most of their shit together back? 🙂

“Is he banging classy 10s and shit? Probably not, I mean he went out with a Jezzie writer eww, but 1) he has a known reputation from way back for banging fatties so he’s not claiming to go for the hotties like other instructors do ”

This is important.

When a guy claims to be an authority on game, and can even prove it with texts and stories and shit, the elephant in the room is always the quality of the girl.

I don’t think people give a shit about “exploring the art” on 5’s and 6’s on Okcupid. Banging HOT girls is the art.

Being a dick just to see what you can get away with is whatever. If you’re left with a story of how a 5 who reads Jezzebel left your house in a huff and told you to “go jerk off”, then cool story bro. What a waste of time.

Its pretty easy to be outcome independent with a low quality girl.

If texting girls “killyourself nigger but we’re actually perfect for each other” is fun for him, I’m not gonna hate.. But unless he gets hot girls, I don’t think there’s anything cool or educational about the shit he does.

Jeffy lives in the SF Bay Area, so the quality of girls around him is pretty shit by default. Dressed down tattooed pierced fatty ugly hipster Jezzie type girls lol There’s literally not going to BE a Hollywood 8+ there. But like I say, it’s not like he has a reputation of getting gorgeous chicks, he’s the one instructor that everyone knows doesn’t care about banging uggos.

Tyler, Julien, etc. game in the Hollywood area where the girls are hotter so they get better chicks. Unless you’re in Vegas, even coming across a 9+ is rare, let alone getting a chance to run game on her, and let alone seeing a bunch of them every night you’re out. Most of the instructors get 6-8s, with the occasional 9 or 10 thrown in, like any normal guy could…the difference is they get them more consistently than normal guys and get them naked faster than normal guys and are able to arrange more ideal sexual arrangements (“come over and fuck on day 1” VS “let me buy you dinner for a month”) than normal guys, that’s all.

I actually have a feeling all this exposure will make Jeffy go for hotter girls just to prove he can do it lol so it’ll all probably be better for him in the long-run, if a bunch of White Knights who read about him don’t kick the shit out of him first.

Either way though, chick psychology is chick psychology. Try telling a 9 who flakes on you to go kill herself and see what happens. Do you think they WOULDN’T respond to something like that? That that wouldn’t stand out from all the other guys who suck up to them 24/7? That they would have no emotional reaction to it at all that you could turn into Attraction? Tyler and Julien tell girls they’re dogs and white-trash whores lol It’s not my style, but I’m not trying to progress the art.

That video was incredible. When I first heard about Tyler Durden in The Game I thought he was a joke and at first sight I think most people would agree. Reading Mm Collabo (his old writings) and watching him speak and his in-field videos COMPLETELY Changed my opinion.

In my eyes, as competition, him and Julien (and the instructors) are fucking dangerous. I would not want to have a girlfriend at the same venue as them. Nothing but respect for what they do.

At a party a couple months ago I met a kid who interned at RSDs office in Brookyn (I think) and he said LoveSystems (Savoy, Tenmagnet, Cajun) as a company is a lot more optimized to be a profitable company as its worth. Check out their online presence and you can kind of see that LS has it together more so than RSD. I’m not trying to shit on RSD whatsoever I think they are great just thought it was interesting when the kid mentioned it.

Smuggling samples out of the country for testing in the UK or elsewhere could be an interesting (and lucrative) sideline for a groups like Generation Identitaire. Of course I am only wondering about this from a socio-political perspective and not advocating criminal activity.

@Scray (posting it here ’cause the other one is a few articles back now)

Okay FR breakdown time:

“She’s the friend from the last field report that I said I was going to make up this rumor, blah blah blah (that’s probably my only real interaction with her).”

lol save yourself some writing/effort and just give them HB nicknames. “HB6Rodrigo from last FR” etc. Makes it easier for other people to follow, too. 🙂 Even in real life I refer to girls with nicknames to my buddies because I know they won’t remember “Jennifer” but they’ll remember “The Screamer” or “The Titty-chick”

“She blinks and is like ‘no she didn’t tell me about the second thing.’”

She might have, or she might not have. If the friend was either 1) into you enough herself, or 2) thought you might legit e desperate and REALLY in love like a sad Charlie Brown character with no chance, she probably wouldn’t have told her.

“I just repeat it ‘oh yeah, I’m in love with you,’ and lean back with a shrug and smile. She nods and laughs. I just sit there looking at her for a moment.”

See this is good, but you’ve left out qualifying still. “You’re amazing.” = “I just want to stick my dick in you, you could be any girl since I haven’t given you any reason that I’m in love with you” vs “You can cook? Or you like Blah band? Or you gave me shit when I approached your group? Or (etc)? You’re amazing.” = “You’ve earned my saying this.”

Even if you’re clearly just fucking around, you gotta’ throw a reason for it in there or she doesn’t know what to do with it. Even better is a combo of qualify, push, qualify then pull, like “You do such and such? That’s awesome, I love you…but wait, you don’t do this and that, do you? Okay, we’re broken up.” See how the dynamic plays there?

You did this proper in your other FR with her friend:

“she mentioned that she liked a band that I liked. (QUALIFICATION) Naturally, I just move away like ‘im falling in love with you now, goddammit.’ (PULL) She laughs. Then she’s like ‘yeah, they’re almost as good as Nickelback.’ (QUALIFICATION) Then I turn to her and am like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? We’re broken up. FOREVER. DON’T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME. DON’T EVEN LOOK MY WAY!’ (PUSH) She covers her mouth, she’s laughing, and I look away. After a few seconds, I’m like ‘remember that time we broke up. listen, I didn’t mean all of that. (PULL) You just make me really mad sometimes.’ (PUSH) And she’s like ‘oh, okay…well so are we back together?'” (QUALIFYING) ‘Yeah. (PULL) For now.’ (PUSH)

Compare that to:

“I just repeat it ‘oh yeah, I’m in love with you,’ (PULL) and lean back with a shrug and smile. She nods and laughs. I just sit there looking at her for a moment.” (……….NOTHING ELSE lol) Me: Look, don’t make it weird. You’re making it weird. (PULL AGAIN) Her: Nooo, I don’t think I’d make it weird. You’re the one who brought it being weird up. (NOT QUALIFYING, she’s challenging you instead of playing along like “okay are we still together?”) “Me: …listen you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that we’re soulmates and we’re probably gonna bone like 6 times a week.” (MORE PULLING, and while it’s good persistence and a good line in general in terms of the words you’re saying, you’re trying to pull her in without pushing her away at all, without qualifying her at all, and basically witohut her earning it)

Does this make sense? Let me know if it doesn’t and I’ll clarify some more. Remember, the idea behind Mystery’s “cat-string theory” is that if you drop the string in front of the cat and let it get it, it gets bored…but if you yank it away, then let it sit so it can almost get it, then yank it away again, etc. it’ll chase it like crazy all over the room.

This is also why it’s a lot easier to accidentally run solid game on ugly girls you’re not into, because you really don’t care about fucking it up or anything so it’s easier to Push them lol If you can treat a 10 the same way you treat a 4, you’d get laid by 10s like crazy. But it’s hard to do because once the girl is past our Level of Entitlement where we feel she’s in our “league”, we start not wanting to risk fucking up and we forget stuff like Qualifying and Pushing because we worry she won’t pass our Qualifications or we might accidentally Push too hard and push her away (both of these worries come from a mindset of a lack of abundance…someone who has total abundance doesn’t care if he accidentally Pushes her away or if she doesn’t pass his Qualifying, which makes her want him more).

“Her: (laughs) Okay, well I don’t think you’re in love with me.”

This is her trying to control the frame and suck you into her frame. You can still recover here, but it’s tricky…but you aren’t like, totally done yet or anything at this point. She’s basically still on the wall and sort of leaning toward “nahhh” because you haven’t really Attracted her at all (push/pull, get her qualifying, etc.), you’ve just said fun/entertaining stuff to her because she’s hot (like every other dude).

“Me: ARE YOU SAYING I’M A LIAR AND THAT YOU HATE AMERICA? That’s disgusting. If I didn’t love you so god. damned. much………”

The savvy ones can play you a bit. I’ve spent time around strippers and they are pro at faking all this stuff and leading guys on…not even maliciously, but just because they’re used to flirting and being social.

But for you, always tell yourself “of course she’s into me”. It might not be true, but that mindset will help you more than “she’s probably just being polite”. The irony is that believing it’s true will often MAKE it true because “what you feel, she feels” and what we call the law of “State Transferrence” which is basically where your state is so strong that it influences other people to change their own state to match yours. Often we call this “charisma”. Like when someone meets a politician they hated on TV but in real life they found themselves swooning over them and come out almost confused at how that could happen.

“But whatever, fuck it, I’m kind of having a good time anyway.”

Good, good. Flirting is fun. 🙂 The guys whining about having to approach and all the “work” put into getting pussy etc. are coming from the wrong mindset.

“Me: It’s kind of a big deal. So……we should probably hang out.”

Solid Statement of Intent. But because you still haven’t Qualified her at all, or Pushed her at all (this is another Pull), so she’s not OPPOSED to you, but she’s not Attracted, she’s kind of neutral erring on “I hope he’s cool”…because of all this, she’s going to shit-test you on it.

“Her: We’re not hanging out, all of us now?”

This is her shit-test, where she’s on the fence. Note that girls shit-test a guy in HOPES that he’ll pass the shit-test and turn out to be cool so they can be Attracted. And if the guy turns out to be lame, then the shit-test exposes that and they can shut down their Attraction and they just dodged a bullet by stopping themselves from being Attracted to a loser.

So this is really a key point in this interaction.

“In the past, I would have just given up — even, especially, in the context of a social circle.”

Right, exactly, that’s the point of the shit-test, to see if you’re a Beta type who’s going to give up, or if you’re legit Alpha and going to plow through and Assume Attraction and go for what you want etc.

“Me: Nah, I meant like just us hanging out.

I said it strongly, I remember that. She nods.

Her: Okay, sure.”

solid. You passed the shit-test with flying colors, because you said it strongly. I had a buddy who went for the number of this chick he was into for a while and he was doing good but chickened out at the last second and asked for the number kind of half-assed and looking away from her etc. and he knew as he was doing it that he was fucking that up and of course he didn’t get the number. He passed his Level of Entitlement and his brain pulled the plug. You plowed through strongly, and the result? “Okay, sure.”

“And then…I just kinda, lose courage.”

This is where you fuck it up lol And you KNEW it as you did it.

“Me: Yeah, I mean while I’m IN love with you…I just want to be friends though.”

wtf?? lol.

“Mentally I roll my eyes at myself like wtf you piece of shit.”

And now you’re done with her. EVERYTHING from here on is you in the LJBF zone. I’ll explain as we go, but basically you’ve gone from an Alpha she could be Attracted to, to an “Orbiter-chode” paper tiger who will basically fall into her frame sooner or later because you’ve demonstrated by backing off and being incongruent, that you’re just faking it and haven’t actually made it yet.

So what you’ll notice from here on is that she is CONSTANTLY trying to control the frame and get you to fall into her frame. It’s pretty interesting actually, because she’s doing it in a socially savvy way and using game principles. 🙂 Allow me to explain (but remember, at this point the sarge is toast, you are now classified as an Orbiter to her):

She’s realized you are a paper tiger, and she knows those guys fall into her frame all the time, so she tries to get you to fall into her frame to confirm her suspicious about you not being as Alpha as you tried to portray when you got her number.

So this is her attempt to set the frame.

“Me: WHAT?”

This is you falling into her frame, by responding to it. Before you were like “Why do you hate America I love you”, avoiding her frame. It’s like if I say “Hey, do you like apples?”. If you go “How come you hate oranges dude, wtf?” that’s you ignoring my frame and trying to set yours. If I go “I don’t, just answer me do you like apples?” that’s me trying to control the frame and this is us having a “Frame Battle”. But if I go “What?? I don’t hate oranges, I never said that! I love oranges!”, that’s me falling into your frame, and if you go “You totally hate oranges, I know it” and I go “Nooo I love them, see I’m eating oranges right now!!” that’s me qualifying myself to you because I’m completely in your frame and the Apples frame I was trying to set no longer exists. You won that Frame Battle by sucking me into your Frame.

So by saying “WHAT?”, and acknowledging her question at all in any kind of logical way, you’re starting to fall into her frame and allowing her to set the frame, which means you’re reacting to her, which means she has higher value than you, which means she can’t be Attracted to you, etc. etc. See how that works? It’s a crazy spiral downhill if you slip up once lol

The good news is it gets easier NOT to slip up down the road when you get used to holding your frame. I VERY rarely meet anyone, guy or girl, high or low value, who can suck me into their frame when I’m on my game.

Another example is when a 10 at the bar asks “What do you drive?” Giving a logical answer is playing into her frame. Saying “That’s boring, why do girls always ask boring questions?” is shitting on her frame and setting your own, and builds Attraction instead of killing it.

“Her: Wait, do you think that love is objective?”

You didn’t instantly try to explain yourself to her statement, so she’s trying to set the frame again with a question because that’s easier for you to respond to…so she’s lobbing a pitch across the plate that she knows is easier to hit because once you take a swing at it and hit, you’re in her frame and she “wins” and can rule you out as an Orbiter.

This is all subconscious btw (for the most part). She’s not a bitch or a bad person, this is just how her Hypergamy weeds out the top guys from the rest.

“Inner debate, do I answer honestly, is she giving me some sort of ninja shit test, wtfidk.”

lol this will happen to you a lot. 🙂 The best way to think about this is to remind yourself in the moment: “if she were an ugly fat 4 with bad breath, or if she were one of my dude-bros, how would I respond to this?” Because she’s hot and you wouldn’t be opposed to sticking your dick in her, you start thinking “how should I react to get her approval…should I be honest? Will that make her like me? Or should I react in some other way? Will that make her like me?” Neither action involves “I’m going to do what I want, and don’t give a fuck if she likes me.”

You might be thinking “But YaReally, isn’t all this Game shit ABOUT choosing the proper response to make her like you? You just told me I have to consciously Push/Pull her, but if I consciously do that then isn’t doing that the same as reacting in some way to get her approval and get her to like me???? THIS IS SO FUCKING CONFUSING!!!!!”

And it IS confusing lol Basically you kind of have to learn to hold conflicting ideas in your head and embrace the cognitive dissonance. This’ll come with time, don’t worry. With the push/pull stuff, think of it like you’re just executing the optimal strategy, but you don’t care if it works or not…VS not caring if it works or not but executing a sub-optimal strategy.

So it’s like training proper for the Olympics, but not caring whether you get 1st place or 2nd place because you just love running…but just because you don’t care about getting 1st or 2nd, that doesn’t mean you don’t train properly and run your hardest.

This is probably just confusing, I should’ve left these paragraphs out lol but whatever, you’re a smart guy, you’ll figure out what I’m trying to say. 😀

“For now, I just answer honestly…”

Good. This is the optimal route. If she were ugly or a dude, you would answer honestly.

…BUT, also keep in mind that you’re now in her frame, because you’re answering AT ALL. 🙂 This isn’t immediate death and you’re not FULLY in her frame yet, watch these upcoming shit-tests, you’ll laugh at this because I know you didn’t see it going on at the time it was happening:

“This sparks a big conversation”

This is what she wants. Because you were hitting on her, then were incongruent, so she needs to pull the chute on the whole interaction and change it’s nature entirely to avoid that discomfort of being hit on by an incongruent guy who she thinks will end up being an Orbiter.

It’s important to note that she doesn’t give a SHIT about your answers or anything, this is all just a really elaborate distraction to bail on an awkward situation and create a situation where she controls the frame and the direction of the interaction, so she can feel in control and “safe”.

“Because previously, the two chodes sitting across from us didn’t exist. But now, she asks them the question”

See now what she’s doing here is actually a PUA style strategy. This is how we deal with AMOGs or girls who are being bitchy…turn to someone else in the group and say “Is she always like this? You can dress her up but you can’t take her anywhere hey lol :)” and get the group on your side putting the social pressure on her to conform to your frame…the social pressure forces the AMOG/mother-hen to cave.

You executed this exact maneuver with the 6 and 6.5 in the 4-set from the other FR where they were rude to you and then you told the 7.5 you wouldn’t flick her nipples and their reaction forced the 6 and 6.5 to lighten up and fall into your frame, because the 7.5 and 7 had fallen into your frame.

See the similarities?

Now why does this chick pick these dudes? Because you’re not agreeing with her, so she knows you’re still not 100% in her frame but she also knows that because you’ve demonstrated paper tiger behavior, that she can cave you with enough social pressure, and she knows that these guys are lame as fuck and WILL cave to her frame because 99% of dudes WILL…

“they jump in, agreeing with what she says = that it isn’t.”

So of course, they agree. Now you’re facing the social pressure of *3* people (one of them a cute chick), disagreeing with you.

THIS IS ALL A HUGE TEST.

She’s trying to “break” you and get you to fall into her frame, so she’s just throwing more and more social pressure at you trying to get you to break because your incongruency before makes her think “I KNOW this fucker’s going to crack eventually, I saw hints of it before, there’s no way he’s going to stand up to this pressure, I’ll add more and more until he caves and then I can rest assured that I’m not passing up an Alpha and that I’m correct that he’s a Beta Orbiter type”. So what does she do when you still won’t cave?

“She asks the waitress, who by the damned way is a freaking 8”

You didn’t cave to her. You didn’t cave to two other men. So maybe you’ll cave to a super hottie. She knows the waitress will back her up because women conform to popular opinions and it’s already 3 VS 1.

“I’ll probably go back there just to try and game her soon.”

Go for it! 😀 She’ll probably remember you after this whole gongshow anyway…except she’ll just remember you as the guy who hangs out with a cute girl (pre-selection) and who held his frame against all this social pressure (alpha), that ain’t a bad thing. She didn’t see any of your earlier incongruencies or anything.

“The waitress agrees.”

Of course she does. And the resulting situation?

“It’s everyone vs. me.”

This is what I mean when I say that learning to consciously wield social pressure is really powerful. When I run into an AMOG or Mother Hen who gives me shit, I can very quickly rally everyone in our vicinity against them in a way that seems organic but snowballs quickly until they find themselves feeling that super awkward icky feeling of social pressure and judgement and being an outcast. The vast majority of people don’t deal with this very often (whereas PUAs throw themselves into it on purpose regularly to learn to handle the pressure and keep their frame), so they cave to it.

Now remember, THIS WAS ALL A TEST, to see if you’d fall into her frame if she rallied up enough social pressure. So this is basically a shit-test to feel you out and see who you really are, since your incongruency before where you backed off after getting her number, made her suspicious and need to test you.

Remember it’s a test because when you do THIS:

“I just kind of shrug and say ‘ah well, I think believing in something higher than yourself, just for its own sake — regardless of whether it’s true — is a powerful motivating force in life.’”

This is you keeping your frame despite all the social pressure she could throw at you.

The result?

“She sits back and says ‘oh don’t get me wrong, I’m a hopeless romantic.’”
🙂 The result is SHE DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING lol She didn’t care about your logical answer to her question at ALL. The words 100% didn’t matter. In fact she AGREES with you, and she KNOWS it.

*ALL* she cared about was “will this guy hold his frame or cave?” This was one huge long shit-test to see if you’re Alpha or not, and the test happened because of your prior incongruency (ie – you caused this).

How’s THAT for a mind-fuck? lol

“Me: So then what are we arguing about?”

I know that feel bro. 😀 This is the exasperation of like “wait, what?? you agree with me?? then WTF are we talking about???!?!?!” And she just shrugs it off, because to her none of that was a big deal, it was all just a test…but to you it’s like “wtf I just went through so much emotional stress and it was all for no reason??!?!” Meanwhile the whole thing didn’t mean shit to her, so she’s feeling cool as a cucumber.

Now flip that script and imagine you’re the cucumber and you put a girl through that much of an emotional rollercoaster in just a few minutes, using Push/Pull, Qualifying her, winning over her group against her when she’s being bratty, etc. At that point she’s so emotionally invested in you, even if some of it is bad emotions, that there’s no way you’re just an insignificant blip on her radar like most Nice Guys would be. And from there, you can do your work and head towards actually banging her. 🙂

“I think arguing logically with a girl is pointless.”

It totally is. That’s another thing to keep in mind that will help you control the frame. Understand when you’re at the bar and she says “You can’t treat girls like that, that’s rude!”, she doesn’t give a shit about your logical response, and you won’t logically win a debate with her anyway, and you can’t logic your way into her pants, so fuck it, shit all over her frame. Agree and escalate (“lol ya I can be an asshole sometimes (agree), but hey at least I didn’t just whip my dick out (escalate), how come girls like assholes anyway? (set your own frame for her to fall into)), or change the subject entirely, instead of getting sucked into her frame…there’s just no benefit to it.

“At this point, I just kind of downshift, figuring I royally fucked up and misread everything.”

It’s all good, you’re toast now anyway. She’s impressed that you held your frame, but it’s like when someone you think highly of does something “off” and you’re like “man, I really WANT to trust this person…but I saw that thing they did that one time and they don’t seem to be doing it again and I can’t seem to find any more evidence that they’re that way, but man, I just can’t ignore that nagging little voice in the back of my mind that there’s something supsicious about them now…”

So you handled that whole situation optimally against all the social pressure, which is good. But she’s still not convinced and she’s going to keep shit-testing you because now it’s just a matter of like “I HAVE to confirm that he’s this orbiter beta chode…I have to get him to fall into that role, dammit!!” Like trying to solve the last word on a crossword puzzle.

“By now there’s like four other guys surrounding this girl with me because most of the other people have left.”

lol fuckin’ other guys. Always so annoying. Part of why I don’t care about doing social circle game much is because there’s always 2 or 3 beta chode orbiters chasing each of the girls in the group and they have NO shot with her but the only way I can get around them is to stomp all over them to their face (either shattering their hearts as I bang their crush or pissing them off and having them retaliate down the road), or be super-secret and risk social circle drama…it’s all too much negative karma and drama to me to deal with.

“Her and two other guys go outside to smoke, she invites me to come along…”

hehe…watch this. Ready for it? Here comes another Frame Battle. 🙂

“Her: You can come with us if you want.”

The key is “if you want”. This is her setting the frame of “you chase me”

“I have always hated when people have put any invitation to anything like this. And I always have a similar — maybe dickish — response to it.”

It’s a fucking gay invitation. Go ahead and make fun of it. I like to call them out and just be like “Wow, I can if I want? You SUPPOSE? Gee, I feel so wanted lol.” If the girl laughs embarrassed about it like “lol no I didn’t mean it like THAT…”, you can actually make her jump through a hoop and tell her “Ask me nicely. (playful pouting arms-crossed expression like you’re not convinced)” and if she’s Attracted she’ll go “lol okay PLEASE come with me!” and you can make it more fun with “I don’t know, maybe if you complimented me. I’ve been working out, you know, I’m just saying.” and again if she’s into you she’ll get giggling along and play along and then you can go with her and now you’re going on your terms, not hers.

You can see this play out in this scene from Californication:

At 39 seconds in, she giggles, so approaches, then she fucks with him and sends him away, so he goes away, but then she tries to pull him back and he goes “What if I don’t want to now?” all coy. Like he’s tired of just going along with her shit so then he decides to quit jumping through her hoops and make her jump through his.

This, like all social interaction shit, all goes down in a split-second. 🙂

“Me: Yaaaa, it’s a free country after all comrade.”

You don’t fall into her frame, so she tries again.

“Her: Well…I was just saying, you can come if you like.”

She makes sure to use the “if you like”. So she’s still setting the frame of “chase me”. If you go with her, then you’re chasing her because she didn’t say she WANTS you to come (her chasing you), she said you can come if you like, so you can follow her around if you want to be her orbiter. It’s good that you don’t go, with a shitty invite like this.

To extrapolate this idea to a later part of a sarge, I can brow-beat a girl into a date. It’s not hard to do, I have a strong frame and I can fuck with her emotions and twist her arm into meeting up. But that’s not the same as playing solid game and waiting to invite her out until I know she’s super Attracted and she WANTS to meet up. So I might turn down 2 or 3 possible meet-ups, if I know I don’t have enough Attraction to make it worth it.

This plays into getting phone numbers and flaking and all that too.

“For awhile I just sit and talk to the other dudes, but eventually we all go out there to part ways.”

Cool, this is fine, if you go with a group. It’s when you go by yourself to chase her around that you’re just an Orbiter. Like the guy she txts at 1:30am to pick her up at the bar because she knows he’ll drop whatever he’s doing to come get her and drive her home and she won’t have to put out.

“But you know how that goes…takes like half an hour, mainly because all the guys stand around the girl…it’s like some sort of stupid fucking mexican standoff.”

lol…KNOW THAT FEEL BRO. 🙂 Like I say, this kind of shit is part of why I hate social circle game. Too many guys with no game all trying to out-linger eachother and hope that if they’re the one that spends the most time with her or is in the right place at the right time, they’ll be the one she falls in love with.

Barf! I’ll take Cold Approaching, where I don’t mind stomping on her Orbiters because I don’t know them, thanks.

“However, two of the guys did get into a discussion about something or another that was really boring and technical, which left me and her free to talk about stupid shit like the best weapons to use in a zombie apocalypse.”

lol this is how wings are supposed to help get rid of AMOGs. Engage the obstacle guy in “logical conversation” while the other guy is talking about fun emotional shit with the girl. Or if you’re solo, engage the guy with logical shit and bring his and her states down with it, then switch and start jacking up her Buying Temperature again…he’s left in the dust because you brought him out of state, and she’s dying for excitement so she gets swept up in your escalation and boom, you’re the fun one and the other guy is lame, even if she was into him before.

“Not really a cold set, but ehhhh……this shit just comes out in everything I do now, so whatever.”

It’s all good. Look at the 10 pages I just typed from that little tiny interaction lol. If you hadn’t flirted with her, you wouldn’t have posted about it, and I wouldn’t have written about it, and you wouldn’t know all this new shit about Frame Battles and congruency and shit-tests and all that…now you’re armed with more knowledge/experience and when you go up against some smokin hottie in a bar somewhere who tries to test you, you’ll be like “I remember THIS shit, time to handle this like a boss”. 🙂

Anyway, so let’s look at the text stuff, but remember: You were done WAAAAAY back when you were first incongruent after getting her number…everything after that was her trying to prove to herself that she’s right about your incongruency and trying to get you to fall into her frame…none of that had to do with sucking your dick lol So it pretty much doesn’t matter what you text, you’d have a MASSIVE uphill battle on your hands to turn it around.

I want to stress not to beat yourself up about it, because this is all logical. You performed actions ABC and got predictable result XYZ, that’s all. It’s not a judgement of your worth as a human being or anything, and you’re not a pussy or unattractive for not getting in this chick’s pants…you simply performed a less than optimal set of moves and the end result is a lack of Attraction. No biggie, it doesn’t mean anything except that you can tighten your game up.

“So, I text her today: hey this is scray, i live in your phone now.”

lol I might steal that. Usually I make my first text have some kind of innuendo. “Just because you have my number doesn’t mean I’m gonna’ send you drunk pics.” etc. But you’ve already been friend zoned by her so it wouldn’t have made a difference.

“Me: Ur a weird abode.”

lol’ed at this. Dumb shit like this is fine. Like Style says “if it was funny in kindergarten, it’s funny again now”. I’ll say stuff like “So’s your FACE.” or “So’s your MOM.” etc. It’s all just self-amusing.

“She’s taking awhile to respond.”

Don’t read into that too much. 1) You can never know what’s going on over on her end, she could be working, she could be fixing her severed arm that just got chopped off, she could be showing your txts to her friends saying “look at this loser I bet he has a small penis!!”, you have no way of knowing so fuck it don’t sweat it, and 2) Every girl txts different, regardless of Attraction. Some girls will be 100% uninterested but respond instantly and txt back and forth all day long because they have free time. Some girls will want to bone you like crazy but not respond to txts for hours or days just because they have other shit going on. And to each of these girls, their style/frequency of texting is “normal”.

If you’re high value, you can txt whenever you want. Brad Pitt can send 50 txts in an hour if he wants, it doesn’t matter. So don’t stress the “be like James Bond and send one-word txts after 4 hours between each txt!”

Because remember: the main thing is demonstrating your personality and being congruent to it…that’s mainly what builds Attraction. So if you shoot 50 txts back and forth, but those txts are full of emotional rollercoaster shit that makes her react like crazy and you’re showing all sorts of awesome personality stuff, that’s better than sending 5 txts that are boring as fuck.

(this is for if you’re trying to build attraction via txt, which I do a LOT of…if you already have a ton of attraction from hanging out in person, you don’t need to do as much via txt)

“I just take it to mean she’s not too into it.”

She’s not into it, but that was your own fault for being incongruent way back when you let your Sense of Entitlement shake apart for a split-second. 🙂 It’s still good to give it a go, just for the experience, so I’m not talking smack here or anything, it’s good that you txted her and tried because you never know when she might feed you something where you’re able to use it to turn things around.

“Me: Nm just planning our ice-breaking first date.”

This is back to the whole “Pushing without Qualifying or Pulling” thing from the start. She hasn’t done anything to deserve your interest, basically.

“‘Rodrigo says I shouldn’t date, but he’s ok with me hanging out with friends.’”

Ya, this is her LJBF’ing you and making you an Orbiter. Like I say, you were doomed from way before these txts, it would’ve been an epic uphill battle to turn this around.

It’s all good, she has a good impression of you in general, and she might have some hot friends. So don’t chase her, but don’t avoid her or feel awkward. Just handle it like it’s no big deal, you have 10 Playboy models waiting for you at home, it’s cool if she doesn’t want to go out with you, you’re just fucking around (shrug). 🙂

Basically don’t be butt-hurt around her lol

“everything I did feels wrong”

It wasn’t awesome, but as long as you can learn from your mistakes, that’s fine. Like I say, compare your push/pull and qualifying in this interaction with the push/pull/qualify in the interaction with her friend. There’s a dramatic difference between the two. Over time, more of your interactions will naturally/instinctively be like with her friend. This is a slow process of gradual improvement, like lifting weights at the gym.

“I feel glad that I was able to communicate -some- sort of direct interest. How fucking gay is that.”

lol The Game is primarily about learning about yourself, more than it is about learning about women.

“Chode: hahahah, now take a real one.
Me: (deadpan) No.
(walks away)”

lol 😀 I’ve done similar stuff, but I always take a real photo afterward, just ’cause I want everyone to have a fun night. Once you fuck around with the first pic, then you’re taking pics on your own terms instead of jumping through a hoop. I’ll often tell girls to kiss eachother on the cheek in pics, or tell them to kiss the guy they’re with on the cheek, etc. So ya, I’m taking their pic so they can put it on Facebook and tag eachother and get all their Like validation and shit, but I’m also making them jump through a hoop for me.

Mystery’s example is “If a girl asks you for a lighter, that’s her making you jump through a hoop. So tell her “Sure, if you bark like a dog!” or something stupid…just make her do SOMETHING. Once she jumps through that hoop for you, it’s okay to give her the lighter.”

“My beliefs about my height are starting to change.”

Hopefully in a good way lol

“I remember a Heartiste post ‘I didn’t need game to land my wife.’ Sure enough, the first and second pics are EXACTLY the types that, without doing anything, will take to me. I just can’t bring myself to do anything with less than like a 5.”

And this is why guys get into The Game. I sometimes think back to what my life would have been like if I hadn’t gone down this path, and I can pretty much guarantee I would probably be settled down with a kid and a bunch of debt and a fat plain average wife that I only like 60% of the time and who rarely puts out and probably ends up cheating on me.

And like, that’s alright for some guys. I probably would’ve been happy, or at least content, like that, because I didn’t realize I could work on myself and become a guy with better options than that, so I wouldn’t have known what I was missing out on.

But now that I’ve been rich, I could never be poor, you know? 🙂

We get into the game to have CHOICE and control over our lives, because we’re not satisfied with settling for whatever shitty bone the universe decides to throw to us out of pity.

This is why you can’t convince someone to get into Game if they haven’t hit rock-bottom and don’t have the drive to change. You have to WANT this. You have to want choice enough to go through all the bullshit, and you have to be so dissatisfied with the notion of settling for whatever the Universe “lets” you have (like a girl saying “you can come join us, if you WANT…(shrug)” and chasing her down like a grateful little fucking lap-dog), that you’ll go through all these Field Reports and rough nights out and close-calls and flakey numbers etc. to change it.

This is one of my fav motivational vids, it came out way back in the early “The Game” days:

The stuff he writes about his girl and all the memories and all that shit and how it just all fell apart, I think a lot of guys know those feels. When he says to himself “Change.”, that’s the turning point, rock-bottom, where “it’s only after we’ve lost everything, that we’re free to do anything.”

I hit my rock-bottom around 23, even before I found PUA. And looking at my life and my options now, I’m glad I did. 🙂

“I already can feel the pushback against me rising up in the group.”

lol ya, that’s going to get rough. You might lose some friends that are too selfish and insecure to embrace your self-growth and support you. That’s okay, those people would just hold you back in life anyway, but it still sucks to lose them…sometimes they’re people you really thought were your close friends or family.

Understand that it’s not that they’re bad people…they’re just reacting on instinct based on their place in life and their own personal growth (or lack thereof). It’s like a kid who’s raised in a bunch of orphanages and beaten as a child and turns out all fucked up angry and bitter at the world, where you’re like “wow, I feel bad for them because they can’t help being full of anger all the time, they’re never going to be able to relax and enjoy life the way I do…maybe they would have if they had been fortunate enough to have been brought up in happier circumstances, it’s a shame really”.

“And my state is still pretty weak.”

State is the hardest part of Game to build and keep and learn to get into etc. No one is “in state” 24/7, we all have our moments of glory and our periods of down-time. And getting into state is personal for each person. Some people need peace and meditation to get into a relaxed flowing state, some people need chaos and energy and shit-talking. It’s kind of like how athletes have little rituals they do to get themselves psyched up and in the zone for the big game…you’ll have to try a ton of different things and figure out what works for you. 🙂

Hope this helps! This weekend is Mardi Gras. Try to go out at LEAST Fri/Sat, but throw in Thurs and Sun if you can because it should all be a good party. Remember if a chick asks for your beads, she has to show her tits. I usually just go “You know the deal.” and motion at her shirt like “lift that shit up” lol

“State is the hardest part of Game to build and keep and learn to get into etc.”

This.

Something I only realized few years ago; is that I have control over my state. Which is not the mere product of the external environment. Rather it is the product of the interaction between my internal state and the external world. Surprisingly to me, the former has more impact dectating the output of that interaction. Thanks Yareally.

I hear what you’re saying. My best nights have been when I’ve spent all day being chatty and talking to whoever and being socially on point because by the time I go out I’m ready to go. Naz, having a wingman to support you an who is in the know is really beneficial in field because if you get shut down he is there to pick you back up.

I think for some people, having positive interactions and feedback (external causes) via promotions, sex with attractive women, validation in non-work endeavors, etc can influence your internals. TD mentioned how one student kept going out and killing it to the point that those positive occurrences he had in the field fixed him internally.

Glad to see that someone else is getting a lot of value out of these field reports and subsequent breakdowns. It’s like I’m getting the answer sheet to all the questions I had regarding successes and failures since I started gaming last year.

“having a wingman to support you an who is in the know is really beneficial in field because if you get shut down he is there to pick you back up.”

My wings and I are super positive. I don’t hang with guys who talk smack because I find that all too negative a mindset to want to waste my life being in, in general. My wings and I talk to eachother like we’re both kings of the fucking universe. “See the way that McDonald’s chick handed me my change?” “Oh ya, she wants your cock dude.” “Obviously, why WOULDN’T she?”

It’s silly and over-the-top and we know it, but when when we approach girls our frame that we’re the shit is so strong that they get sucked into it.

It’s harder to keep that vibe up solo, especially when you’re starting out, because often you’re looking at external sources to determine how you should feel about yourself…so you’re looking at reactions from girls, comparing your looks to other guys, comparing your results with girls to other guys, comparing your achievements in life to other guys, etc. and adding all that up to ask yourself “Am I allowed to feel like I’m high-value now?”

You have to fix a lot of your internal dialogue and learn to think postiively about yourself, which is really hard to do in a society that brings us up from childhood telling us that we’re worthless until we have the nicest suit and the newest car and the most expensive condo and the highest paying career etc. and get in the habit of basing your worth on completely arbitrary shit in your head. “Look at my hair, fuck, my hair is perfect, no other guy will have a chance tonight.” “This wrinkled shirt? It’s awesome, girls are going to love how casual I look.”

Essentially you’re frame-controlling yourself. 🙂

I hang out with a lot of different social circles that I don’t “belong” in. One of my circles is a bunch of MMA guys, and I’m not athletic or tough so I’m the weak runt of the group. One of my circles is a bunch of med/law/business types, and I’m poor as fuck and my job is complete bullshit compared to theirs so I’m the guy in plain clothes (instead of Armani suits) with no money or car or impressive education. One of my circles is a bunch of non-white dudes where I’m the only white-boy and we’re in a bar full of non-white people. One of my circles is a bunch of grungy tattoo’ed pierced bottom-of-the-barrel rockers, and I’m pretty normal looking and don’t know much about music so I’m the least “cool/indie” one of the group.

None of that affects my confidence though, because I don’t judge my worth/value on how I compare to the guys around me. I don’t try to play their game and compete with them, I don’t try to pretend to be into indie bands or lie and say I’m a doctor etc., and I don’t subscribe to the same value system that most of North American society does, so girls can tell when I approach them that I’m different because I’m outcome dependent…I’m approaching like “Hey, this is me. If you like it, cool, if not, that’s alright.” VS “Hey? Do you like me? What if I pretend to be this and that? Do you like me now??”

1. stablish some kind of rapport in which you behave like an asshole being playful to your target. . dont answer questions and dont ask the typical questions. if you do… answer with nonsense. e.g : her: -what do you do for a living? you:- i run a cult, wanna join,…?

:

2. once sitting , check where your girl has her cellphone, , if she has it in bewteen her legs near her vagina, or in a chest pocket near a boob. act as if you were going to touch her ,but take her cell phone from whatever it is.

3. make fun of her cellphone.
and point to the other guys competing for her attention , telling her “i guess this is where those guys leave messages like: “i love you so much i wont play halo anymore”

my performance in this is sloppy, but once i have managed to do it correctly, i have got laid. the best i have done its a 7. your input is welcome.