I used to consider myself as a believer. I believed in many different things, different kinds of things. I believed in truth, I believed in friendship, I believed in love, I believed in happy endings, I believed in magic fountains... So as I have said, I believed in all sorts of things. But most importantly, I believed in myself.
I never understood people, who were not believers, so called non-believers. I have always been asking myself, what they even live for. I mean, if they do not believe in anything, then what is the point of everything? I marked those people as ’’no-lifers’’. I thought nothing could happen to them. Nothing good, nothing bad. But now I see it clearly. We should not judge the non-believers. It may not be as simple as we think it is. It is not like they were born this way. God made us all believers, but people change.
Some come to the point, where they lose all their beliefs. And what is even left, after losing everything you have ever believed in? I am afraid of answering this question. I am certain all the non-believers used to be believers. And why is emptiness the only thing people see in non-believers? I am ashamed of myself, since emptiness is all I ever saw in them. Why do not we rather ask ourselves, what happened to them? What made them feel that way? Of course not, why should we try to be reasonable? It is because, if you are a believer, which is a good thing, do not get me wrong, you are not able to understand them. Them, who are not believers, or should I say who are not believers anymore.
I am not saying I am right about everything, but I can not be that wrong, since I used
to consider myself as a believer. And who can understand the entire thing better, than a person who is familiar with both sides. The worst thing about losing your beliefs is remembering how it was, when you had things to believe in. And you get to miss that every single day. A non-believer, I can at least speak for myself, does not choose to live that way, as a lot of people think. We are trying so hard, we fight to get back what we have lost. But in exchange, we get a feeling of being far away from where we want to be. I wish someday, all
the non-believers would find their way back, and become believers again.
If I had not told you what my beliefs used to be at the beginning, you would probably ask me now, what I believe in. My shortened answer would be, that it does not matter. When you stop believing in yourself, you lose everything. And what do you think? Do non-believers get a second chance? I better hope so, since I do not see myself spending the rest of my life as a non-believer.
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