Friday, December 25, 2009

There will be excerpts. There must be more of them. Eventually, they are just obvious proofs of what will turn out to be the most interesting book ever written and read that could be produced out of me. I could feel each click as I breathed in and out, laid coiled heaped at the gray stone steps of the cold temple within fifteen meters of the snoring saddening heavy sand by the insignificant moonlight, lingering, adding to the meat freezing numbing sickening cold. As my body lay huddled like a heap of twine I dipped in a burgeoning stream of indulgent thoughts, remembrances and half accomplished meetings. As fatigue mixed with old age drained from my eyes, shaping my shoulders percolating into the dusty orange of my flowing flimsy skirt, I thought of you dear Lord like deserter. In this same mellow cotton of the beach, I would run forward, toward you, yet looking behind. The nape and the back, the strings tying the exploding excited limbs that themselves could not contain beads of furtive encounters. A quarter of me losing direction of the wind and a half is measuring the receding dithering you. [cut to]Warm smoke is clouding the folds of my neck. Now, I can sing along very well. I'll tell you everything about living free! I like purple filters and orange lights in my bath tubs as lather flows down my Siam skin. I was feeling kind of sea sick but now I am smelling salts. Switching like merry radio channels and closing my eyes only to see the coast. I work now and make clean bread breakfasts and walk through swept chrysanthemum streets. I love my clean kettle and I will tell you what made me disgusted. The pleasures of youth, the overdose of comforting margarine foods, the strained night hopping to slap the morning sun in his face, unwashed drowsy tired scents on clothes. All the pleasures of youth are always unhealthy.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I went to watch AVATAR premier show, bought tickets so enthusiastically, landed in the line seated in theatre, newly upgraded to 3d. The show starts and with or without the spectacles, the screen is blurry and split. The show goes on for almost ten minutes. Gradually, slowly people realize that something's wrong and its actually not 3d! Lol, low grunting ensues from different corners and then finally, the courageous 'somus' (the most popular name shouted around) got up from their seats to 'ghero' the projection room. We watched in mixed anticipation, thrill and a little panic, wondering what would happen next. The screening stops and then a trial of reprojection starts. Sometimes the sound went off, the other times the screen showed three different colored images etc. Lots of people start shouting 'cheating' and people around me vacate to eat some popcorn and get drinks. Suddenly, the film starts again, this time working well. All start shouting, 'rewind kar, rewind!' All don their glasses again, whistles and hooting. Funny how faces would change to mass childish euphoria at some 3d effect. The film sucked. I went expecting some super realism through three dimensions and amazing music and a relatively simple story newly told. But, as the mediocre simplistic colonial story unfolded I felt my enthusiasm and joy recede by every minute. All of us staring blankly at the screen and chorus 'ooh's' and 'aah's'. What amazed me was that when the 3d wasn't working, the way we as a crowd were reacting was something like you see in films. Hooting, clapping, protests, interacting with this new setup where they've come to experience something that they aren't yet aware of yet know roughly what to expect. Also, subjectivity of visual experiences and how it takes us sometime to realize and shout out that "it's not only me who can't see this 3d! The 3d is actually not working!" Lol. Very Magritte like, do you see the picture that I see?
Ps. Do not watch Avatar in any other theatre but IMAX. Trust me, I feel I missed out something, it can't be that bad.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

There are happy posts, merely descriptive ones with attached emotions that make for thoughts. This is one of them. There are sane moments. This is a proof of those all beautiful satisfied things. Since a month almost I have not been eating anything but fruit and all sick-people's food because I was sick and am recovering now from Hepatitis A. This unfortunate incident brought in many good things that in the moment of experience as well as retrospection make me feel like a new person. Parents are as intolerable yet necessary elements as medicines, excessive love etc. Be thankful to them for not trusting you with your own health and life. Even if you sleep through their nagging, your brain's affective cells strain to register every advice which give you comfort when back again to the lonely independent world. Next, eat healthy and mean it. Don't torture your body with unknown alien, shady food items at cheap or tasty seeming places. Have some humanity-sensitivity towards yourself. This, I realized as the accumulative knowledge of five semesters. After that, stay in touch with positive people. People who are optimistically restless about doing exciting things with their life. Also, if you know some people make you happy and feel good when you see them, cherish those moments, use them to climb a step out of your muddle of daily confusions. When you mull over things continuously, you stop looking at things beyond and away. Finally, leave and let go completely. Once you decide that you want to give up on things, tasks, people, memories etc. There are good things that yellow illnesses teach. But, now it is totally lost to me why I cannot keep feeling this way all the time.

Photo story

Me is

I am red and seeded. My father dreamt so much and my mother was too careful. My brother just gaped as he grew. My grandpa writes letters, my teachers rely on students, they are very apologetic as well.