Sunday, November 1, 2015

November is national adoption month, and this years collage reflects the different orphanages we came from. Although we all came from Korea, there are so many different beginnings.

Thank you to everyone who participated, and that have helped out on this project. For more information on KAD (Korean ADoptee) collage, please visit.

***Special thanks to KAD Layne Fostervold for creating this collage and YouTube video, which celebrates and immortalizes the lives of adopted Korean children everywhere. We may have been abandoned, but we will not be forgotten.***

Starting in the 1950s, Korean adoptees have faced adversity, abandonment and loss. Unaccepted by South Korean society we were children who were shipped all over the world to second families with whom we shared no common features, language or customs. Some of us were adopted into amazing, loving families that helped us to heal. Others of us were instead absorbed into homes where abuse and neglect made our wounds much deeper. Today, most of us are now adults so we can process our earliest experiences and serve as examples for generations yet to come. Though we struggle and question we have a voice now and we want our stories, both good and bad, to be heard. Slowly we are finding ourselves and each other. We are making history. We are history.

Over 200,000 children were sent away from South Korea since the 1950s. This year's collage features 216 Korean Adoptees, representing only 0.1% of us. An even smaller percentage of us have successfully been able to reconnect with our biological families while many, many more of us still long to know our real names, real birthdates, our heritage, and anything else about our origins.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Even if you don't agree, please, please expand your perspective and read the facts so you have a well-balanced understanding of the issues. The Baby Box in and of itself was created with good intention, but in regard to the overall situation it really is nothing more than a band-aid and does not address nor remedy the greater, underlying problem of prejudice whereby it is assumed single Korean mothers are incapable of providing loving homes to their own child(ren).

"In
light of The Drop Box’s release in theaters throughout the United
States this week, Adoptee Solidarity Korea-Los Angeles (ASK-LA) is
reaching out to ask for your help to revive
KoRoot’s #BuildFamiliesNotBoxes social
media campaign this week starting on Monday, March 2nd. Despite the
good intentions of the Baby Box, it ultimately encourages illegal
abandonments, separates unwed mothers from their children, and
creates a population of “orphans” who will never have access to
their personal and medical histories. Moreover, the rationale behind
the Baby Box inaccurately conveys the idea that unwed mothers have
only two options: killing their babies or anonymously abandoning them
in the Baby Box. The majority of Korean women who have given up their
children for adoption have cited economic hardships and social stigma
as the reasons for relinquishment.

We wish to revive the
#BuildFamiliesNotBoxes campaign because we believe every person has
the right to family. We fully support the meaningful activism and
advocacy work that unwed mothers, single mothers, adult adoptees, and
their allies are doing in Korea to promote family preservation.
Furthermore, we believe that unwed mothers have the right to raise
their children with dignity and should be provided with greater
financial and emotional support to do so. The Baby Box is not the
only option. In the case that unwed mothers cannot raise their
children, we advocate legal relinquishments and ethical and
transparent adoptions.

How can you help?
-Forward this to
your friends, families, communities
-Post this image and
copy/paste the above statement on your Facebook page
-Change your
profile to the attached “BuildFamiliesNotBoxes image
-Share your
story and thoughts on Twitter #BuildFamiliesNotBoxes
-Like ASK
LosAngeles’ Facebook page.

**Relevant Facts and
Statistics**

1. Since the 1990s, over 90% of children who have
been adopted within and overseas from Korea have been born to unwed
mothers.
2. According to a New York Times article (2009), nearly
96% of unwed pregnant women in Korea choose abortion. Of the
approximate 4% unmarried women who give birth, about 70% are believed
to give up their babies for adoption.

3. According to Korean
Women’s Development Institute (2012), a mere 15.6% of 213 unwed and
single mother respondents received support from their children’s
fathers.

4. Fathers are legally responsible for financially
supporting their children. However, in order to hold fathers
accountable, mothers must locate the fathers, establish paternity,
and enter into a long litigation process, which, in most cases, does
not result in a ruling favorable to the mother.

5. According
to a survey conducted in 2013 among unwed mothers, 34% of mothers
listed economic hardship as a reason for relinquishing their parental
rights.

6. Between December 2009 and February 2014, 383 babies
or children were left in the Baby Box. Of these 383 babies and
children, 120 of their parents returned to the Baby Box to reclaim
them.

**If Not the Baby Box, Then What?**

1. Give unwed
and single mother families more than 70,000 won ($63USD) a month.

2.
Enforce child support obligations for fathers through Single Parent
Law revisions.

3. Revise Family Registration Law for privacy
so that only unwed and single mothers can access their
registries.

4. Establish laws that make it illegal to
discriminate against unwed mothers in the workforce, etc.

5.
Create an agency that provides counseling for unwed and single
mothers so that women are correctly informed about the Special
Adoption Law, their options, rights, and obligations to their
children.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I think we can all agree that people are pretty complex even on an individual level. Situations, events, and incidents are complicated. Each of us is affected by biology, by environment, by personal experiences, by cause and effect, by internal pressures, by external pressures, by imperfect memory, by feelings, by chemicals, by varying ethics, by religion, by tradition, and myriad other influences.

Adoption is also complex. Everyone experiences it differently and, if given the opportunity, processes and copes with it differently as well. We are not carbon copies of one another nor are we automatons. It only stands to reason that if an adopted person became part of a loving family that they likely felt safe and were able to grow and learn in a healthy setting. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had the good fortune (especially after losing our first families at an age when most of us could barely speak let alone understand why or how we were abandoned) of being embraced into a stable, nurturing, encouraging second family?

Some adoptees instead found themselves in abusive and/or neglectful homes. They never had the opportunity to safely discuss or sort their earliest separation trauma and losses because they were preoccupied with defending themselves and keeping ever vigilant in unstable, dysfunctional circumstances where the parents hurt rather than protected their adopted child(ren). These adoptees would never want others to go through what they went through.

Like many aspects of life, there is rarely a single solution that is going to work for every situation and, because children in particular are involved, adoption is so complex. Let's try to give the people involved in adoption and their various situations some kindness and space by realizing we cannot ever fully understand or appreciate their personal adoption experience. Understandably, by nature, humans are uncomfortable with the unfamiliar such as things we can't/don't understand and that can create fearfulness, but let's try anyway to be kind even to those who are different from what we ourselves know.

Let's also honor and respect that every one of us will experience a life journey that is uniquely our own. No one else can define our journey or lead it for us. It will be extremely personal and it will also be complex. Don't invalidate or discredit someone else's journey or experiences or feelings just because your own journey isn't the same or you somehow cannot relate to some or all of another person's journey. The tempo and nature of each journey will be determined by that person in their own time and in their own way.

If you are earnestly interested in another person's opinion or experience, just ask and be prepared to politely listen without judgment or unkindness. Keep in mind that another person's journey no matter at what step they are isn't intended as an affront or threat to your own. It also will not diminish your value or your accomplishments.

Please remember that we are each at a different point in our journey. Some of us had amazing families and/or friends who helped us along the way. Some of us have had therapy and some us have had no support. Some are just more naturally skilled at coping, but not all of us. Some never had the opportunity to heal from the loss/separation of the first family and carried those vulnerabilities into a second family where these security and identity issues were further compounded.

It is understandable why adoptees with positive adoption stories would feel good about and support adoption. It is also just as understandable why those adoptees with horrible adoption stories would feel bad about adoption and not want such situations to be repeated. We all seek to be loved, known, understood, and accepted and every one of us is deserving of these things. Don’t be so short-sighted as to pat yourself on the back for more successfully overcoming your own obstacles. We all struggle at times and we all strive to heal. Be gentle in giving others room to grow. Perhaps in time they will even come around to seeing life how you see it.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

"I was not an orphan. I had a family who loved me so much they searched for 34 years to find me."(from: http://soojungjo.com/2014/11/02/i-was-not-an-orphan/

original story from: http://m.media.daum.net/m/media/society/newsview/20140718203708539)

I Was Not An Orphan(Article published July 18, 2014 at Korean news site Daum.net. Translation by 문지수, edits by Soojung Jo. Original link and text HERE)

She didn’t have a single photo of herself smiling after her daughter was sent overseas for adoption

The care center recommended overseas adoption to Kim. They told her, if a single mother raises her child without any money her child will be unhappy. But she just wanted them to care for child for a while.

In 40 years, nothing has changed. “If the child care’s environment is good, it greatly reduces the need for single mothers to give up their child,” said Kim on July 16th. In her home at Gyeonggi-do, she showed me Soojung’s adoption photo and the receipt from the care center. Soojung and Kim met because Soojung uploaded this photo and information to Holt International’s website and Kim’s niece found it.

At Incheon Airport Arrival Hall, on May 29 last year, Kim Jong Suk (59 and pseudonym) was waiting at the arrivals gate. While she anxiously watched, her daughter Soojung (38) appeared to her for the first time in 34 years. Kim had lived a life feeling like a sinner since her daughter was adopted to the United States at the age of 3. She got down on her knees, and just repeated “I’m sorry.” Her body was overcome by exhaustion because of so much crying. Soojung hugged her without a word. On Soojung’s birthday, February 15, every year Kim has boiled seaweed according to Korean birthday tradition. Finally she could eat the seaweed soup together with Soojung for the first time.

If a single mother raises her child without any money her child will be unhappy.

Kim was a single mother. She had been kidnapped by a stranger, then imprisoned and repeatedly sexual abused. After a while, she was pregnant. Everyone around said to Kim that she should have an abortion, but she decided to produce her child because she thought “child of my body and my part.” In February 1977, Kim delivered a child at maternity clinic in Myeonmokdong Seoul. She was 21 years old. After Soojung was born, her father earned a little money for rent, but he did not help for long. He was always drunk and soon died of alcoholism in the street.

Kim raised Sujung by herself, overcoming all obstacles for almost two years. When Kim couldn’t pay her rent she left her baby with her sister or brother and went out searching for work. However, there weren’t many options in the job field in the 1970’s for a twenty one year old single mother. She remembers thinking how she would even consider begging for a room; however, it was out of her control at the time.

Somebody told Kim of a child care center in Noryangjin Seoul and told her to leave her child there. So Kim left her child at the care center until she could find a place to stay. Kim bought clothes and food for her child and visited the care center whenever she could, but she was not welcome there. They told Kim that if she kept visiting her child there, she would not adapt to being in the care center.

The care center recommended overseas adoption to Kim. They said if a single mother raises her child without any money her child will be unhappy. However, if she were to send her child overseas she would eat well, wear nice clothes, study what she wants and they would treat her like a princess. At first Kim had no intention of sending her child overseas, but after repeated coercion, she thought their words were true.

In 1979 Kim signed a contract giving up her right as a mother. She left her name and address with the care center for when the child wanted to see her birth mother. However, later there was no documentation of Soojung’s mothers name or address at the care center. The only thing written in Soojung’s documents was that she was abandoned at the Noryangjin police station and in 1980 she was sent off to the United States for adoption.

After her child had been sent overseas for adoption, Kim realized that she had made a terrible decision and was filled with guilt and regret. Although she now lives a happy life with her husband, son and daughter, she is always reminded of her oldest daughter Soojung from the pain in her heart.

Every night Kim would wake up crying from dreams of finding her oldest daughter and would often fight with her husband who kept telling her to forget it. After Kim had communicated with her daughter, Soojung had asked for a picture of her birth mother. Kim realized that she did not have a single picture of her smiling and thought back to how she should have raised her child even if it meant starving together in the streets.

Raising a child alone in the world is difficult.

Kim is currently a member of the single moms group. The single moms group is to help single mothers who sent their children off to adoption. There are mothers like Kim who have a painful stories deep in their hearts. There are 12 to 13 members who regularly participate in the club; however, the family members who sent their children to adoption have a hard time telling their stories. Kim says that Korean society still characterizes single mothers as sinners and just recommends overseas adoption. And Kim says that she constantly raises the issue, that for 40 years, nothing has changed. Kim knows a young single mother who works and raises her daughter by herself with helping her parents. Kim says, If the child care’s environment is good, greatly reduces single mothers will abandon their child. And she says, she had lived cold and harsh times when nobody would even give her a sip of water. Now the economy is better, but the support to single mother is still not enough. She points out the society should support families staying together instead of being separated.

According to statistics from the Department of Health and Human Services, domestic and international adoption was 922 children in 2013. And more than 90% of those children are from single mothers.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

In post-war South Korea, thousands of children were sent from the nation to be raised in other countries by adoptive families. Many of those children were of mixed ethnicity, referred to today as hapas. The Mosaic Hapa/First Generation Tour is a unique opportunity to travel to Korea with others from this era that share a distinct background and similar experiences being raised as adoptees in a foreign land. This tour will gather adoptees for a ten day journey to experience the history, the culture, and the people of Korea. The tour includes a day with a Korean host family, the opportunity to visit a "meaningful place", which could be a birthplace, orphanage, or place where the adoptee was found, and the opportunity to travel to different regions of the country, experiencing the beauty of Korea in autumn.

Who Should Apply?
Korean hapa adoptees born in the 1950's, 60's and 70's as well as first generation adotpees born in the 1950's and 60's. Priority will be given to hapa adoptees that have not had the opportunity to travel to Korea in the past.

Tour Dates
October 30 - November 8, 2014
Arrange travel to arrive in Seoul on Thursday, October 30 and depart on Saturday, November 8.

What Does It Cost?
Scheduled lodging, transportation, and meals in Korea are covered by the generous sponsors of Me & Korea. Round trip airfare is the responsibility of the participant. Limited airfare assistance is available. Personal expenses and accommodations outside of the tour itinerary, are the responsibility of the participant.

Application
Due to limited space on the tour, participants will be selected through an application process. The application deadline for this tour is August 20, 2014. All applicants will be notified of their status by August 30, 2014.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Mosaic Family Tour
This 10-day family trip to Korea is designed for adult adoptees and their families. We acknowledge the importance of family and wish to use this tour as an important avenue to introduce an adoptee’s entire family to Korea. We want this trip to not only reunite adoptees with their home country, but also to immerse the rest of their family members in Korean culture, language, and heritage. The tour will consist of visiting notable sites, conversing with native Koran people, and volunteering in local communities.

Who Should Apply?
The Family Tour is for adult adoptees that have been to Korea before and would like to introduce their immediate family members (spouse, children, parents) to Korea. We strongly recommend that adult adoptees experience Korea by themselves for their first visit.

What Does It Cost?
Adult Adoptee - $500.00
Family Members - $1,000/per person
The fee includes all scheduled lodging, ground transportation, and meals in Korea. Roundtrip airfare to Seoul (Incheon International Airport), as well as personal expenses outside of the tour itinerary, are the responsibility of the participants.
***financial aid is available***

2014 Dates
June 19 – June 28, 2014
Arrange travel to arrive in Seoul on Thursday, June 19, 2014 and depart on Saturday, June 28, 2014
Concert and exhibition on Friday, June 27, 2014

Application
Due to limited space on the tour, participants will be selected through an application process. The application deadline for this year's Mosaic Family Tour has been extended, but get your application in soon! All applicants will be notified of their status by March 1, 2014.

Tentative Schedule

Tour of Seoul

Activity with a Korean host family

Elementary school visit (including opportunity to teach in a Korean elementary school, assist Korean teachers, and learn about the education system in Korea)

Visiting a “meaningful place” for each adoptee: this may be a birthplace, orphanage, or place where an adoptee was abandoned. The family will spend a day in that city

Family volunteer activity in Korea (serving a meal to seniors, food bank, or after school care)

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Yes, the baby box is preferable to leaving a helpless child on the street like garbage, but it's really not a solution that ensures the best possible outcome for a child's future. Part of growing into a healthy and balanced person involves keeping a child's identity in tact. When a child is just abandoned anywhere without a name, without a birth date, and without a past, that child has been stripped of his/her origins.

Children are the legacy of our world. It is therefore our responsibility to give all children the tools necessary to reach their potential as they will become the leaders and citizens of tomorrow. Would we shoot our children in the legs before sending them on their way? Or perhaps damage or otherwise maim them? Denying a child his or her authenticity does just that. It is in our best interest to promote wholeness and well-being not only in ourselves, but in our children.

For more information about supporting families in Korea, click on this link.