Tag Archives: Kids

1) “That’s weird! Alex never hits!” Really? Because I know you gave him little boxing gloves for Christmas. 2) “Her teacher says Alabama is gifted!” Then it’s even more weird that you named her Alabama, isn’t it? 3) “Listen! Ashley … Continue reading →

Today is Saturday and I’m Aunt F#*king tired. It’s like how moms get Mother F#*king tired but without so much diaper changing and building dioramas. Anyway, I worked all week…at a job in a building that’s tall and only pretty on … Continue reading →

You may have noticed that occasionally in my musings on anything from politics to pie I will create an opportunity to, with some wit, hurl an insult at babies. Just for the record, no joke, I don’t like babies. My … Continue reading →

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About Me

Penelope has written jokes for Joan Rivers for Fashion Police on E! and was a writer for two and a half years on the "Soup" spin off, "The Dish." As a stand up comic, Penelope Lombard has been seen on Comedy Central, NBC and in clubs and colleges throughout the country. She starred in the FX pilot "Filthy Liars" and has voiced characters for "King of the Hill."