Wisconsin, that land of beer, cheese, and Aaron Rodgers jerseys, has had a tough couple of years, government-wise. First, they elected a bunch of, from what I can tell, taxidermied badgers holding guns to state legislature. To make matters worse, their governor seems to be an evil yet gloppy Koch puppet. And now, one state legislator has decided it's a good idea consider being a single parent a form of child abuse. On, Wisconsin!

Senate Bill 507 is sponsored by Republican Senator Glenn Grothman of West Bend. If passed into law, SB507 would formally consider single parenthood a contributing factor to child abuse. Since most single parents are women, it doesn't take a Vince Lombardi to see that the game plan here is to inch toward criminalizing a woman's state of nonmarriage. The proposed law states,

Section 1. 48.982 (2) (g) 2. of the statutes is amended to read:
48.982 (2) (g) 2. Promote statewide educational and public awareness campaigns and materials for the purpose of developing public awareness of the problems of child abuse and neglect. In promoting those campaigns and materials, the board shall emphasize nonmarital parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect.

Section 2. 48.982 (2) (g) 4. of the statutes is amended to read:
48.982 (2) (g) 4. Disseminate information about the problems of and methods of preventing child abuse and neglect to the public and to organizations concerned with those problems. In disseminating that information, the board shall emphasize nonmarital parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect.

According to Defend Wisconsin, Senator Grothman is no stranger to nutbaggery. In 2011, he co-authored a paper that surmised that the left wing was trying to encourage single motherhood so that their children grow up to be dependent on the state thereby allowing the government to grow bigger and bigger and bigger like a big pretty balloon that we can all live inside. I didn't know they made cheese heads out of tinfoil!

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The actions of socially conservative lawmakers across the country have painted a pretty retro picture of what they expect and demand of women. They don't want us to have abortions, but they also don't want us to have sex education that teaches us that having sex can lead to pregnancy. They don't want us to take birth control, but they also don't want us to use emergency contraception. They don't want us to have children outside of marriage. So they must want us to be virgins until we get married to a husband who we allow to impregnate us constantly. Vaginal sex has become a dangerous undertaking.

Hundreds of laws, rules, and regulations, and thousands of pages of legislation seems like a really roundabout and inefficient way for conservative lawmakers to encourage women to have buttsex. Just ask, guys. Seriously.