What Did Michelle Obama Give Prince Harry?

Every year, the Palace posts a list of the gifts that royals who traveled overseas received, and it’s surprisingly enjoyable reading. Each item has an implied story behind it, the moments which likely surrounded each gifting: the intern tasked with finding the appropriately hued polo; the overly gracious response from Harry or Charles or whoever (“This is just smashing!”); the decision made in a hotel room later that night to toss the trinket in question or, spurred by some sentimental impulse perhaps, jam it into a suitcase.

This year—as Kate and William stayed put in England during 2013—the only royals whose ledgers we are privy to are Harry, Charles, and Camilla. The most notable item on Harry’s list is a “brown leather flying jacket” bestowed upon him from none other than “the First Lady of the United States” during Harry’s tour of the U.S. in May. Lots to consider about this:

Why was Barack not included on the gift? Michelle couldn’t even add a cursory “and family” after her name on the gift card?! Did he object to the choice of present on principle? (“People like to pick their own clothing, Michelle. And you seriously went with an extra large?! That’s sure to go over well.”)

Why hasn’t Harry worn this jacket in public yet?! When Michelle Obama gives you a jacket, you should put that thing on and never take it off.

Even though this seems like a lot of detail (the entire entry could have just read “jacket,” after all), the few adjectives delivered to us somehow just make us need more: is it a Topshop-esque hipster brown leather jacket??! (Perhaps embellished with beige fur?) Or is it a baggy dad-style coat? Are we talking patches on the shoulder pads?! Zippers? Buttons in unexpected places? Fringe?!

Other notable gifts Harry received (both on his U.S. tour, and his visit to Australia and Dubai in October): a towel from the U.S.A. Judo Team, an engraved ballpoint pen from the mayor of Seaside Heights (which we assume was blessed by Snooki before it was given away), a 3D printed doll (about which we desperately want more information), five black silicone wristbands from an unnamed “individual” (doesn’t seem creepy at all), and two “soft toys.”