Hostess of the Week, 'Breastaurant' Edition

ESQ: What is it about breastaurants? Why are breasts an asset for selling food? You guys really own that title — "breastaurant" — now that it's a thing, apparently.

NICOLE BASS: Yeah, we own the title. The boobs do come into part of it, but a lot of it has to do with the girls and their attitude.

ESQ: There's been a lot of talk about how this is a new "post-Hooters era" we're in. Do you guys have uniforms? Themed uniforms?

NB: Yeah, we have a uniform. And our theme is a cabin theme. The uniform has a lumberjack type of feel; we have red-and-black plaid tops that cut off and tie up top, and we were wear little khaki shorts, and a belt, and some boots.

ESQ: So that's what makes it a good dining experience?

NB: The uniform does come into a part of it, but a lot of our attitude comes from just the way our day starts. You'll have girls that will be the happiest girls ever, and then you'll have girls in there that woke up, lost their mascara, and they're in a horrible mood the rest of the day. The way you feel in your uniform just becomes a part of it.

ESQ: Are you a big plaid-wearer outside of work, or is that work only attire?

ESQ: What's one of the things you like better about Twin Peaks, since you've worked at both?

NB: It's a lot more laid back. We don't have any side work, or opening duties, or closing duties, or anything.

ESQ: So you basically get to just hang out and be in a good mood.

NB: Yeah, pretty much. We just sit there, and talk to all of our tables, and make sure they're all having a good time.

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ESQ: That's a pretty nice job. Has anyone on-staff seenTwin Peaks?Is it all an inside David Lynch joke?

NB: Wait, what do you mean?

ESQ: He had that show Twin Peaks, back in...

NB: Oh, oh yeah!

ESQ: So that doesn't have any affiliation with the restaurant.

NB: Yeah, none at all.

ESQ: It's just a catchy name.

NB: Yeah, most people don't even know that show. No one ever talks about it. That's why I was like, what?

ESQ: But people generally get the humor of a breastaurant named Twin Peaks.

NB: Yeah.

ESQ: So how'd you get involved in the industry?

NB: Here in Texas you have to be 18 to serve, so when I was 17 I went to Hooters, and they could only hire me as a hostess. I've always hosted, for some reason. I guess I'm a good hostess.

ESQ: You're were a go-getter at an early age.

NB: Well, in breastaurants you tend to see younger girls, because we're all just there to make some money for right now. In the future, we all want to have our own careers.

ESQ: What do you hope to get into when your tenure is over?

NB: I'm about to start going to med school. I want to be a sonographer.

ESQ: Why that, in particular?

NB: Well, my dad works in a children's hospital. So I've always been around it. I just love babies, and I love when I watch TV and I see a show, and they figure out what the sex is of the baby. It's just a really exciting, good thing to be a part of.

ESQ: That's a very good thing. Speaking of which, you guys were shooting a calendar last week, right? A normal restaurant wouldn't have a calendar shoot for its staff. It's like a secret asset of breastaurants. You're technically a calendar model now.

NB: It's pretty crazy. There's a lot more going on than most people think. I'm so sore now, just from doing all the poses. You arch your back so much, that my back was numb by today.

ESQ: What's the hardest pose?

NB: I had a scene where I had a chainsaw. A chainsaw is pretty heavy, and I'm a pretty little girl. So they had me holding this giant chainsaw. But then they had me standing on a log that was a little crooked. So you had to balance on the log. I had to balance while holding the chainsaw, and the photographer is telling me to lean forward and lean backward, and by the time I lean forwards or lean backwards, the weight of the chainsaw would make me want to fall over.

ESQ: I don't remember the last time someone asked me to hold a chainsaw for work.

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