HBO's Endless List Of Streaming Services Are Confusing AF

What the hell is going on with HBO's streaming services right now? There's already HBO Go and HBO Now, and on May 27 they'll be coming out with HBO Max because apparently two streaming services that did the same thing wasn't enough of a push to make humanity rethink this whole capitalism thing. Sorting out your various HBO accounts is like walking up the steps of an M.C. Escher painting, and at this point, it almost feels like they're trolling us.

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HBO Go is the service you get when you buy HBO through your TV provider (Usually $5 - $20 a month depending on your provider.) HBO Now is a standalone app that you can purchase independently for 14.99 a month. Both of them offer the exact same content. Why wouldn't you just make HBO Go and HBO Now the same platform? Possibly because with HBO Now, you'll get HBO Max for free, and HBO Max offers additional content that the HBO executives feel the lowly HBO Go peasants should pay a premium for. But if that is the case, then why not make HBO Now and HBO Max the same platform? Wouldn't that be easier on your tech developers or on the ad execs or save you money on all the different logos that you're having to dream up? Perhaps, but for HBO's head brass, you can't put a price on making dads around the world lose their shit at a customer service rep after having forgotten their password for the 18th time.

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It's important to note too that while the same company now owns HBO and Cinemax, and that HBO Max will be featuring content from WarnerMedia's brands and libraries, none of that content will be from Cinemax. So you can probably expect a new HBO streaming service full of Cinemax content coming soon, and it'll probably be called something stupid like "HBO Omega." You'll then only be able to access it after logging on to HBO Go through Fortnite, while entering two-factor-authentication on an Ouija board, and simultaneously calling a Disney executive and telling them to suck it. And then, after all that, you still won't bother to finish Deadwood.

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