Super Moderator

Yes Ramya.....this is the right time for planning for the next child when your elder son is 3.5 years old. While the second child is born, he will be 4.5 years old and will be a little grown boy who could take care of himself atleast in few aspects.

Generally it is advised to have 4 years gap between the children.

This is because, if the second child is born within his/her 4 years, you may need to take care of all his needs like feeding him, toilet needs, and the first child will be totally dependent on you and you will find it very difficult to handle the other child also.

On the other hand , if the child is 4 years or above, the first child will know to eat by himself, will know to fulfill his own toilet needs, will get prepared to go to school by himself, atleast by wearing uniforms etc.

Now the main thing you should do is, prepare your first child mentally once you become pregnant (say by 4 months).

You should tell him that he is going to get a new sister or brother, who is going to be his best friend in future.

Tell him that he is going to take care of the child who doesn't know anything as he knows.

Tell him that he is going to help his mother in looking after and taking care of the new child.

Tell him that he himself should learn to take care of himself like, eating by himself, going to toilet by himself (teach him to clean by himself) and getting ready for the school by himself as you will have to look after the child who cannot even move by himself for some months.

This will prepare the child mentally not to be jealous of the second child and not feel alone while the baby is taken more care than him.

So, go ahead with your second pregnancy immediately, and all the best.

Commander's of Penmai

The world health organisation recommends 2 years for gap between two kids.

You can take in two points, both have its positive and negative.

1. Your health, time and energy - If you have all these well you can plan for second baby when the 1st one is two years.

In this, you can parenting both child in the same time, bonding and attachment between them will be more good, since the bigger one does not get that much mingled with outer world, he/she don't know get jealous/fights.

2. If your health, time and energy - If any one lacks give a gap atleast 3-4 years. Larger gaps give you good opportunity to enjoy parenting each child and give them your full attention for the first few years. At the same time, bigger one knew about the outer world, they may get jealous with the little one. The bonding between those kids will be less compare to the 1st one.

this is my personal experience with my kids and with my sisters and brothers.