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Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

I need some help!

I've scoured all the posts on this website (and others) and have tried many suggestions that were given for overproduction/underproduction/diet changes, etc., to no avail.

I can't figure out what is going on but I will try to describe the situation . . . i do NOT want to stop breastfeeding as I really enjoy it and am not having any problems with nipple infections/breast infections, leakage, tired, etc. It's all on the baby's end (obviously it's what I am doing wrong, but I mean, it seems like SHE wants me to stop and that SHE prefers formula).

I have been breastfeeding and supplementing with one bottle per day of formula for the past six weeks of my six-week old baby's life.

I had no problems up until last week or so . . . . . . when baby is hungry she screams at the breast . . . . . wriggles and cries and SCREAMS. . . . . I manually express into her mouth to get her going and she'll suckle for a minute or so and then SCREAMS again . . . . .I wait a little while, try again, and the cycle continues until I give up and give her a bottle of formula which she finishes in olympic speed and settles down nicely for a nap. She is NOT being satisfied by my milk and seems to know that the bottle is better or somehting.

I KNOW there is milk coming out of me when she wants OFF the breast, so it's not like there is nothing left in me . . . . and I did a little comparison of the speed of flow of the bottle compared to my breast and the speed seems to be about the same . . . .

I do NOT want to stop, but I can't let this little one cry in hunger anymore. I am feeling desperate for help. Is there anyone I can CALL who will kind of work with me, one on one and help me try a few things while I respond back with results? ie: I think I need a little more help than the typical suggestions that are offered here (no offense, it's just that I tried them all and they are not working).

Is it possible that a 6-week old baby is doomed to be on formula from now on cause I had been giving her one a day since birth? Did I screw this up, royally by doing that? Is there any way to completely elminiate the bottles and get back on breast ?

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

I forgot to mention in my post above that baby is ALSO not latching on to my breast as strongly . . . . in the beginning weeks, it was painful to pull her off my breast while nursing cause she had a really good latch. Now it seems like she is just lazily suckling and not really latching and sucking as hard on my breast. . . . what does that mean?

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

Leecee,
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. It sounds like your baby may have nipple confusion and/or a preference for the bottle. Nipple confusion can happen because a baby sucks on a bottle differently than they suck on the breast. When they're first learning how to nurse, it can confuse some babies when they're put both to the breast and given a bottle. And they can often develop a preference for the bottle just the same way that a lot of breastfed babies develop a preference for the breast and will refuse anything else. Babies have to work really hard to get milk out of the breast but it's relatively easy for them to get milk out of the bottle.

That said, you can probably coax your baby gently back to the breast. Can you tell us what linds of suggestions have already been given to you? That way we don't frustrate you more be repeating things you've already heard. I apologize for not knowing already -- I haven't been following your posts. While we're working on this, why not give baby expressed breast milk instead of formula? It's got more calories and fat in it and obviously is much better for her than formula.

Also, in the meantime, have you seen this page? It's not a LLL approved resource but she's got some good ideas -- Help -- My Baby Won't Nurse!

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

I'm really sorry you're having so much difficulty! I congratulate you for wanting to keep breastfeeding and for working to find an answer to your situation before just quitting. The breastmilk you are giving your baby now is giving her the best possible start, no matter what happens from here, and I think you should first take comfort in that. Second, have you looked to see if there is a League leader near you? She would be the best person to call, if so. I'm sure a leader will respond here as well, and I'll let her handle the more technical aspects of your situation. I just wanted to encourage and let you know that I certainly don't think you've doomed your baby or your breastfeeding relationship. I do think that maybe your baby prefers the bottle because it's easier for her to use - breastfeeding requires a little work on the baby's end, and it sounds like she has grown accustomed to the speed and ease of the bottle nipple instead. That's probably what's happened to her latch on the breast. I don't know much about it, but it may be that she's experiencing nipple confusion, and that's what causing her difficulties at the breast. The more I type and think about it, in fact, the more I'm inclined to to think that's what's going on, at least in part. My baby is napping right now in the room that has all my breastfeeding books, or I would look it up for you! I think it is entirely possible for you to get to a place where you are breastfeeding your baby exclusively, and I would encourage you not to give up. The first six weeks can be hard, no matter what you've done, and you're always inclined to second-guess yourself. Perservere, know that your milk is best for your baby, and when you get some more detailed help from a leader, things should improve for you very soon.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you!

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

The more I think about it myself, the more I also think it is nipple confusion . . .

I have two calls into two different leaders that were listed on the website here as a resource and am just waiting to hear back. I am just praying that there is hope for us.

The only things I have tried have been things that were related to other issues such as overactive/underactive letdown, etc. . . . . .I have tried many different positions, burping often, warm showers, pumping, etc. just to rule out all those other possible issues and it seems that it is coming down to a simple bottle preference.

I just hope there is a way to rectify it because I am already heartbroken about the fact that she won't nurse. . . . .

She seems to nurse only if she is NOT starving . . . . in other words, if I catch her BEFORE she gets to that really hungry place, she will breastfeed, but if I wait to long (like when I am sleeping at night and not able to be proactive about getting to her before she lets me know she is starting to get hungry) than we are destined for bottles . . . . but if I try to nurse her during the day before she is too far gone, it seems to work.

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

Leecee,
That is a great way to coax her gently back to the breast! Offer before she's famished Also, I know that this can shake your confidence and make you feel bad. But you'll get through this. It's a great sign that baby will nurse! Are you co-sleeping? If not, you may want to try it so that you can get to baby very quickly. Who wants to be making bottles in the middle of the night?! Not me!! And I'm sure you don't want to either. And remember, getting baby fully back to the breast probably won't happen overnight. It may take a few days, a few weeks or even a few months. But stick with it and you'll see results.

Take a look at the Kellymom link I gave you, talk to your LLL Leader's and you may also want to get in touch w/ a IBCLC in your area. It might cost you a little bit of money to get a consult with her but it'll certainly be less than what you'd be paying out in formula.

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

I don't have anything else to add, but wanted to say- Hang in there! You are such a dedicated mom for wanting the BF relationship back. Please let us know how it goes with the local LLL Leaders! Keep your chin up!

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

if she will still breastfeed when she is not starving try it.
it might take a few days and you

can give up the supliments.
Watch her wet diapars
The breastfeeding answer book says that exclusively breastfeed babies will need to nurse 8-12 times in a 24 hour period. Its going to feal like that's all you get done. But as the baby gets older its going to get better as she learns to nurse better. its wise not to let a baby go untill they are ravenous they get so upset they will not eat.
can you take the baby to bed with you for a fewdays and have a nurse in?
that way she could nurse on demand! thats the best way to build your supply of milk.
Hope one of the leaders you called got back into touch with you..
if not try and call some more.
if you think that is all that is wrong its easy to correct!

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

I don't have a lot to add to the previous posts, but I wanted to chime in with encouragement. This sounds to me like a classic case of nipple confusion (or more accurately, nipple preference, as your daughter is making it crystal clear that she prefers the bottle when she's in a hurry.) It is NOT the formula that she prefers -- it's the delivery method.

This is a really common problem, and the wonderful news is that -- like nearly every breastfeeding problem -- it has a breastfeeding solution. It's wonderful that you are committed enough to your nursing relationship to persist and work at solving this. You may find that, to protect your baby's ability to breastfeed, you need to stop using bottles altogether. Keep in mind that in a few more months, she will be able to use a sippy cup.

I think you are astute to notice that she nurses a lot better if you catch her early hunger cues. To make nighttime nursing go more smoothly, consider bringing her to bed with you -- co-sleeping doesn't work for every family, but it's worth trying if possible. By keeping her close by, you will rouse when she stirs, and will save precious minutes in getting baby to breast. If you're not comfortable with having her right in your bed all night, how about keeping her bassinet within arms reach of your bed, or attaching her crib to your bed in a sidecar arrangement?

Good luck -- it sounds to me like you have figured out what the problem really is, which makes solving it that much easier. You two can do this!

Re: Sad about thinking I have to stop B/F

Thanks for all the speedy replies . . . . .

We have been co-sleeping all along and just love it! That is actually part of the reason I want to continue to breastfeed . . . . I just love those middle of the night feedings when we are all cozy in bed together. I will just die if we have to stop that!

I just spoke to a LC at length on the phone and she said we absolutely can her baby back to liking the breast . . . she told me that first off, my supply must be low because I described how much (or how little, I should say) water and food I have been taking in each day and the consultant told me it is not NEAR enough to produce an ample supply. She told me how much more water and food I need to be consuming and offered a bunch of ways to get baby back to breast (such as not waiting for her to be too hungry to eat, waking her up to eat, etc.)

I just pray it works!

Mind you, this overwhelming desire to breastfeed is coming from someone who SWORE up and down that I would NEVER breastfeed until I saw that baby for the first time after delivery and tried it because I felt obligated to. It just goes to show that you never know what you might like if you don't try it!