Life Among the Loons

It has become clear that over the past few months I have been sinking deeper and deeper into a state of overwhelming apathy. I know what I should being doing, I know what I could be doing, I know what I want to be doing….and I’m doing nothing. I have made zero progress in any area of my life for months. I think constantly about all the things I want to change and all the ways I can improve my life, but when it comes time to actually *do* any of those things, I just grab a book, flop on the couch, and read for a few hours then go to bed. This is becoming dangerously close to depression and that is a oh-so-slippery slope that I do not want to slide down. So….

Starting today, I am setting ONE weekly goal for myself and focusing on achieving that one task by week’s end. I am (desperately) hoping that accomplishing several small goals will kick start my motivation to get back on track with my “normal” life.

Weekly Goal #1: Grade each day’s assignments before I leave work.
I am drowning in school work and this is undoubtedly contributing to my problems. It’s only week 3 and I’m already way behind in my grading. I leave school mentally wiped out every day, yet I also feel as if I never get anything accomplished. My to do list gets longer and longer and longer with no end in sight. I’ve come to the realization that I can’t do everything overnight, but I need to be able to pat myself on the back for accomplishing at least 1 or 2 things every day. I need to walk out of my classroom every day with the knowledge that I *did* something. If this means I have to stay longer than be regular duty hours, I will do it — I need to take the time to catch up, get refocused, and get back on track.

**Just a note: I stayed after school in order to grade today’s assignment from my economics class. Whoo hoo for baby step #1 🙂

Me: My desire to have fun and meet new people is overruled by a greater desire to stay on the couch (pantless) and read. This is undoubtedly the major problem with my life and the greatest contribution to my seemingly unending state of being single.

My BFF Susan: LMAO! That’s paragraph 1 of your autobiography!

Me: Or the About section of my Facebook page? Perhaps the opening essay in my OKCupid profile?

Susan: Either!! Your pantsless ass brings all the boys to the yard! Lol!

Me: Ok…I’m adding that sentence into the mix somehow…lol

The conversation made me laugh but also left me craving a shamrock shake from MickeyD’s. Too bad that would require getting off the couch and putting on pants!

On January 1st I wrote several goals for myself. Four months later, I suppose it’s time to check my progress.

Financial Goals

Save $1,000 — I am only $120 away from completing this goal 🙂

Create a monthly budget and stick to it

Reduce my credit card debt by at least 40% — I have completely paid off 2 credit cards. I’m not sure how much this has reduced my total credit card debt, but it makes me feel like I’m making progress.

Health Goals

Lose 50 pounds — I have lost a total of 8 pounds. Despite being somewhat discouraged my this tiny progress, I am trying to stay positive and focused. If only cookies, chocolate, ice cream, and beer didn’t make my tummy so happy 😦

Professional/Educational Goals

Pass the TExEs certification test in Social Studies — DONE!!! I am moving to the social studies department and will be teaching U.S. history and econmics next school year. 😀

Apply for graduate school

Miscellaneous Goals

Complete a scrapbook

Actively look for “Mr. Right”

Find a new church home with a strong youth program

Obviously I have a long way to go before I can check all of these goals off my list. Hopefully the summer break will refresh my spirit and give me the motivation to get out there and do something!!

As a new year begins, I find myself reflecting on the things I planned to accomplish in 2011 yet for multiple reasons didn’t. Obviously if I want to find success in 2012 I need to try something different. That’s where my bestie Susan comes in; she and I have agreed to be each other’s accountability partner as we each strive to accomplish our goals for this new year. Here are my major goals for the next 12 months:

Weekday afternoons at the museum are notoriously slow and yesterday was no exception. Having forgotten my book at home, I was desperate for something to do that would help pass the time. Thanks to my iTouch and the museum’s wi-fi, I was able to create my very own bucket list.

While browsing the web, I found a post about missed reading opportunities and started thinking about my rich reading background. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t a voracious reader. My mom has a tremendous love of reading and literature and shared that love with my brother and me. Some of my earliest (and happiest) memories are of Momma reading The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and Are You My Mother? , and the greatest Christmas present I received as a kid was the Little House on the Prairie box set which I read at least a dozen times. Books have always been an integral part of my daily routine and I shudder to imagine a life in which I couldn’t indulge in a quick trip to ancient Rome, King Henry’s Hampton Court, or the dark alleys of crime-ridden Los Angeles. With this in mind, I offer a quick list of the most influential or memorable books from my childhood:

1. Little House of the Prairie(Wilder) — I cannot express how much I loved this series. I still own that box set I got over 25 years ago; each book is tattered and worn from being read so many times. I even had my mom make a “Laura Ingalls dress” that I wore until I couldn’t squeeze into it any longer.

2. Anne of Green Gables (Montgomery) — Contrary to what my students believe, I was not a troublemaker as a child. I relied on this book to vicariously experience tight scraps, wild adventures, and fierce independence.

3. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret? (Blume) — This book was so taboo in my 5th grade world! What I remember most about this book is having to put my name on a waiting list at the school library just to check it out…..and the exercise to grow your boobs. Surprisingly those of us lucky enough to have a chance to read the book never spilled any of its secrets to those poor souls still waiting their turn.

4. Little Women (Alcott) — I had an illustrated version of this classic that was passed down from my mom and aunts. I loved Jo and was devastated when she cut off her beautiful hair. This was one of the first books that I can remember pulling various emotions from me as I read.

5. Where the Sidewalk Ends (Silverstein) — Every student at my elementary school was required to participate in an annual elocution contest. Without fail my brother and I always chose to recite a poem from this collection. This is one of the few books that he and I both loved; we wrote and drew on the pages of our favorite poems 🙂

I’m happy to be able to say that I have passed this love of reading on to my daughter; she would willing spend my entire paycheck at Barnes and Noble. Sadly I realize that my daughter, for all her reading, has not experienced any of these amazing works 😦

Ok, so the Maintain, Don’t Gain idea did NOT work 😦 I came nowhere near losing 40 pounds before my birthday. I think I lost 6….wow!

I did manage to buy a house 😀

Weight Watchers starts as soon as I get back from my Spring Break trip to Washington, D.C. and Philadelphia. After all, I have a cruise in June and I want to wear a swimsuit without causing those around me to vomit.

My school district is sponsoring a program called “Maintain to Don’t Gain.” Basically employees are encouraged to focus on healthy eating and moderation during the holiday season. If you maintain or lose weight between November 16 and January 8, you are entered in a drawing to win $100.

I have decided to use this contest as a motivational jump-start to my desperate need to lose weight. I hope to LOSE serious weight. My goal is to drop 40 pounds by February 27 (my 34th birthday). This morning I visited our nurse and had the starting weigh-in….

Last night over dinner and drinks, the topic of conversation turned to “the list.” Everyone has “the list”. I commonly refer to mine as “My List of Future Husbands”. Some people call it “My List of Freebies” or “My List of Guys I’d Love to be Trapped in a Room With After We’ve Miraculously Lost All Our Clothes and Eaten an Aphrodisiac-Laden Dinner.” Semantics can’t change the fact that said list is basically a collection of hot and sexy (famous) people the list-holder would love to sleep with.