Welcome to the National Runaway Safeline Forum, where you can post your questions, thoughts, and concerns about what it's like to be a teenager or a parent. If there's something you've been wondering about, please ask. Chances are good that a lot of other people have been wondering the same thing.

Can I run away and still go to school?

01-30-2013, 09:54 PM

My parents are separated. My dad is a worthless human being, and I got lucky enough for him to be my primary guardian. I can run away to my moms house, which he knows where she lives. Or I can run to a friends house and stay there until I'm 18.
My biggest worry is could I be forced to go to his house if I keep going to school?
(I live in NW Arkansas.)

Hello and thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are unhappy living with your dad and feel like you want to runaway. Have you tried talking with your dad about what’s going on? Things must be really difficult at home if you are feeling like you need to runaway. It sounds like you are trying to plan ahead and figure out a way to continue in school even if you aren’t living with your guardians. We are not legal experts, but one option that you do have is to look into the McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act at http://www2.ed.gov/programs/homeless/legislation.html for more information on your rights to education. Another option available to you is to talk with someone at your school about what might happen in that situation. We are glad that you found us and hope that we can be here to support you as you make this decision. If there is anything else we can do, please don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day. Best wishes.

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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Can I run away and still go to school? See I have been physically and mentally abused for a while. I have went to the cops and others they will not help I am afraid that I will not make it to my 18th birthday do u have any suggestions please help

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We are sorry to hear that you are going through physical and mental abuse. No one should every have to experience that.

To better answer your questions regarding school, we would need to know some additional information about your situation. Feel free to give us a call or chat in. You can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:http://www.nrschat.org:88/chat/UserP...&d=&u=&bypass=

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My mom and I have been going threw a lot right now. she is very physical with me and she says thing that i don't think a child or a teens should ever have to hear and yes i have made mistakes but all kids do, but i don't need to be punished forever for it. i don't know what I'm gonna do.I'm still figuring out what I'm going to do. I feel very unwelcome in my house. My own mom even said that i was F*** up and i ruined her partying days in High School. Its not my fault that she had me at 17. I am just done and don't know what to do. If i do run away were do i go when do i leave. If or when i run away i still want to go to school i love school.

IP

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Thank you for taking the time to contact us today.
It sounds like you’re feeling unwanted by your mom and are thinking about running away but are hesitant because you are concerned about missing school. It’s good that you’re taking the time to figure things out before you make a decision.

It’s great that you enjoy school and that your education is important to you. Unfortunately we are not legal experts and we can’t say what will happen if you decided to return to school.

Being able to admit when you make mistakes shows a lot of maturity and having your mom say negative things to you can defiantly wear on you. It’s understandable why you would want to leave a household like that.
You mentioned that your mom gets physical with you, we are not here to tell you what to do but if you want we can hold a conference call if that is a concern of yours. Your physical and mental safety is what is most important.
Please feel free to give us a call anytime 1-800-RUNAWAY
Good Luck!

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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My parents are separated. My dad is a worthless human being, and I got lucky enough for him to be my primary guardian. I can run away to my moms house, which he knows where she lives. Or I can run to a friends house and stay there until I'm 18.
My biggest worry is could I be forced to go to his house if I keep going to school?
(I live in NW Arkansas.)

Your school may notify your dad if he has sent a memo to them. your best bet is family court. You are old enough to pick which parent you stay with. trust I have been through it and from central arkansas

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Thanks for your insight into this situation. We’re happy to have you contribute! It can be really helpful for someone in a crisis to hear from others who have been in a similar situation.

While it may be true that in your specific circumstance that Family Court was the best option, it is not the only route that exists in the realm of legal possibilities. That is why we maintain that we are not legal experts and often refer questions like this to someone who is. If you wanted to reach out to us to share your experience, we’d love to hear from you.

All the best,
NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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I was in the exact same situation and what i did was go to my BEST friend that went to school with me and his parents were ok with me staying there for a little bit which ended up to be 3 years (until I could pay for an apartment). I told my primary guardian ( dad ) that i did not feel comfortable there any more and i was going to stay with some friends and go to school. I said not to worry i will call every once in a wile. If you do this don't tell your primary guardian which friend (cause they may cause harm to the nice family or you (again)) once a month I call him from the school and we catch up. He has been getting better but i am 20 now and we planned to meet eachother next week at a starbucks for the first time we will talk in person in for the first time in 5 years. my mom is actually crazy and is abusive but i said i was never coming back there and left. You just have to find a safe place to go and make sure that they in no way can harm them or you but also update them so if they do call the cops then they cant report you as missing only runaway. but really try to sat yin school no matter what. education is the only thing that will let you leave that terrible place. I am pretty sure that if you call they can help they helped me. just hang in there.

IP

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Thank you for your response to another user’s post. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. It sounds like you and the previous user have had a lot in common and you now being older would like to share you experience on the subject. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth.
We here at the National Runaway Safeline do not necessarily share the same view as the user. Our main concern is making sure that whatever you decide to do you are doing it safely. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services. 1-800-786-2929
Thank you

So im a 16 year old female and i am now a run away. I have friends that want to help me cause at home I messed up and my parents hate me and my mother said she wanted to beat me and my dad told me he hopes I get hit by a bus. I cant stand my house so I ran away but high school starts up in a few days and i want to still go to school what do i do

IP

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Thank you for contacting NRS. We are sorry to hear about your situation at home. That's must be tough. Have you contacted your school counselor and told him about your situation? They can be a great help to keep in school. You also said that you have friends that want to help you, you can always stay with your friends if it's safer for you. Additionally, if the threats made by your parents are serious, you can always tell the police and let them decide what the right thing to do. It seems there is more to your situation and we are more than welcome to help you. To better assist you, please call on our number 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us on 1800runaway.com

hi im Justin i am 13 years old right now and im thinking of running away from home because ever since my mom brought all theses men into my life i was never able to understand why she and my biological dad separated. which means why have she blame everything on me. i have been doing bad in school lately since in 5th grade to the beginning of 8th grade. now i already know how my mom feels about me a ''disgrace'' and a ''disappointment'' . so if i run away can i still go to school because i am trying to still go to school without my mom bothering me and me going to new york to my dad?

IP

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Thank you for contacting us, it sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we are sorry to hear that your mom has been saying those hurtful words to you. No one deserves to feel like they are a disgrace or a disappointment.

It’s really understandable why you’d want to go live with your dad. If you were to run away, legally there is nothing that can stop you from going to school. However, your mom could potentially get your dad in trouble for what is called harboring a runaway, or in other words, letting a minor live with them without permission from their parent or legal guardian. If you think your mom would give you permission to live with your dad that would be fine. You also may want to find out if your dad has any custody over you of if he could get custody over you. We offer conference calling, between youth and their parents. If you needed help talking to your mom about living with your dad, we can help you have that conversation.

If you need any help brainstorming more options, you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to talk to one of our trained crisis line workers. Our safeline is open 24/7, so we’re always a call away!

I've been thinking about running away for a while now, I'm 14 and I just started high school, there is just so much trouble in my home and I don't know how much I can handle before I break down. I feel selfish though, there are so many other kids out there with much worse lives than mine and I feel like I am being ungrateful. I don't want to seem like a bad child, I don't want to disappoint my family, I love them but it is just very hard to handle everything lately. My mother and I are beginning to grow apart after being so close, my father and mother constantly fight, my father is scary at times, my sister is rude and is obviously the favorite, she makes sure I feel worthless even after I really try to fix things. We've had good times and we've laughed together and were happy, so I do't know if I'm doing the right thing? I'm not innocent, I do fight as well and get angry but I don't want to. I feel not good enough for these people. I'm also scared about what will happen if I do run away, I don't want to be gone forever but I also just really need to get away. I have several plans as to how to get around, what I'll bring, where i'll go, etc, but I still want to go to school. I live close to my school so I could always camp out near there or something. If I leave a note, will the authorities be notified? I just don't know what to do and I'm panicking. (I'm sorry if I did this wrong)

IP

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Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It must be difficult to live in a house where the dynamics are changing. It sounds like you have been enduring all of these changes to the best of your ability but it’s getting to the point now that you cannot take it anymore. We know that you mentioned that you and your mother use to have a good relationship. Have you tried talking to her about the issues that you see within your family? The other member might not even be aware that you are feeling discomfort.
Additionally if you would like on service that we offer here is our conference calling service. We could set up a call between you and your mother or father. We would just be on the phone as a neutral party, not taking anyone’s side. If this is something that you think might help you can give u a call and one of our liners can set that up for you.
You mentioned that you have been planning for a while and that you have given thought to some aspect of leaving but have you considered?
-How will your parents react to you leaving?
-Will they call the police?
-Do you have a safe place to go?
-What about school? Is continuing an education important to you?
-How are you going to survive? Food? Shelter? Transportation? Money?
-Who can you depend on if you were to leave home?
- What is your plan B if your first plan does not work out?
-Who have you reached out to make things better at home?
-If you were forced to return home, what do you think that would look like?
We are not going to tell you that you should or should not runaway. We are here to try to provide you with support and resources so that if you do decide to leave home, you are doing it intelligently and safely. So if running away is something that you really want to do then you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can talk about all of your options and help you come up with a safety plan. 1-800-786-2929
Best wishes,
NRS

hi i’m 14 and want to run away as well. My “best friend” treats me like crap and i can’t take it anymore. I know it seems like a stupid reason to want to run away but there’s depth too it. Anyway, i still want to go to school and i door know where i would stay after i ran away. I already have some what of a plan but there pieces still missing. Initially, I thought once i ran away i would just be able to stay in an orphanage or foster care but after researching, it’s clear it doesn’t really work like that. So if you could help me with that and how i would be be grateful. Also, my dad and i don’t really get along but i’m good with my mom (they are divorced). I split time with both of them. also, i’m pretty sure i’m old enough to choose who i want to live with. Running away might be hard for me because of my mom but i honestly can’t take it here much longer. I was thinking maybe if she just sent me away to another school in a different state that would be ok but if that’s not an option (and i don’t know if they even have schools like that that aren’t classified as boarding schools). However, the place that i’m planning on going is a place she flies to frequently so even if i ran away there, i would still see her. Also, i have a step dad and his kids in another state where i was also thinking about going but im not sure yet. Anyway, i just really need a new start away from all the bad here and if you could help me any advice and information will help. thank you

IP

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Hi,
Thanks so much for writing in. It sounds like you’re having a difficult time with your friend and that you’ve put a lot of thought into what your next steps are. That takes a lot of maturity and forethought.
We’re unsure what’s going on with your best friend at school, but please know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your friendships and at school. You might consider reaching out to a trusted teacher, coach, or guidance counselor to facilitate a conversation between you two and develop a plan going forward. You might also consider asking mutual friends to advocate for you. You might also consider joining extracurriculars to help you develop a support system outside of your best friend. You mentioned that you might be willing to go to another school outside of the state; attending another school within the state is also an option you might pursue. It sounds like your mom is a solid support system for you, so she might be open to working with you to find a safe school environment for you. Finally, you might also consider reaching out to a therapist or mental health counselor, as it can definitely be helpful to have someone to talk to about this tough situation. To locate a resource in your area, you can call the National Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-877-726-4727.
As far as running away, we aren’t legal experts, but we can speak in generalities. Generally speaking, you need permission to leave home as a minor. If you can get permission from your parents to live with someone else (perhaps the stepfather you mentioned), that might be a great option for you. You might also consider staying with another family member or friend.
If you choose to leave home without permission, there are a few things to consider. Generally speaking, if you run away, your parents are obligated to file a runaway report. If the police are able to locate you, they would simply return you home. It’s generally not something that stays on your personal record. If you do decide to leave, you might want to consider the following: where you will stay, how you will get there, where you’ll get food and income, and whether you have appropriate clothing for cold and warm weather. Since you are 14, you might also want to consider whether your living plans would work in the long term until you turn 18. As for school, homeless youth are entitled to an education through the McKinney-Vento Act; many schools will have a homeless youth liaison, so that might be a helpful resource for you when you figure out what school you want to attend.
If you’d like to speak about your situation more specifically, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Our lines are open 24/7 so someone is always around to listen, provide resources, and help you brainstorm options. Best of luck to you.

Hi i’m 15 and running away and i was wondering if you could help me figure out the places i could stay and live and be happy and get away from all the pain and drama i live in now. I plan on going to school still i just need to figure out a living situation. Also, i was wondering if you knew a form of id i could use at 15 to get on plane. I don’t have a drivers license but maybe school id something? I have a passport but it’s out of date (expired march) but if it’s just if id would it work? Also, do you know what important documents i might want to take with me if i have access (like birth or medical or something)? also, if i bring my phone, what are my chances of being tracked even if i turn off location services and everything. or if i just turn it all the way off from time to time

IP

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Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are currently in a tough situation with how you have described your feelings of where you live now. We are here to help and listen and see how we can help you through this. You’re asking great questions and it sounds like you’re thinking about how you might survive if you decide to runaway (ID, food, shelter, money, safety). We are not legal experts and am not sure what the travel rules with airlines are with minors. It may be good to look at the online to see what ID they require for youth your age. It is good to have ID to have access to resources. It is important to be aware, that with most shelters, if they are in taking a youth, a parental consent may be required. If you reach out to us through phone call or chat, we can notify you if that is the case for shelters.

We would need to know a little more specific information to be able to find a place you resource close enough to where you could still attend school. Just so you know if you would like to discuss your situation more in depth you can contact us immediately at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a completely confidential hotline that is available 24 hours a day. There is always someone available to provide support, discuss options, and find resources in your area if needed. We also have an online crisis chat set up that is currently available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

You may want to know some legal information about running away and maybe answer some of your tracking questions. We are not legal experts, but we can give you some general information. Running away in most of the U.S. is not a criminal offense, but rather a status offense, like breaking curfew. Therefore, it is very unlikely you will be arrested or detained for running away. Whomever houses you while you are a runaway can be criminally responsible for harboring you. Your parents can file a runaway report on you with the police, and if they do this, the police can order you to return home if they encounter you. This information may be helpful for you since your thinking about leaving home and places to stay.

We wish you the best of luck and please feel free to reach out by chat or phone to retrieve specific questions, as we are open 24/7, 365 days a year.

Hi, my name is Lily and i'm 14 and i'm wanting to runaway. But I have no idea where my birth certificates are and my ID is. Is there some place I can get to to get my ID? (I live in SC) And what all do I need to run away? Where can I go? Can I still go to school? I dont have a phone but I need to get one. Is there any way that is possible?

IP

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Hi Lily, thanks for reaching out today. It was smart of you to reach out before running away. There is a lot to consider, which it seems like you realize based on your questions, good for you!
One major thing to consider is runaway reports. Since you are a minor, if you leave without permission from your parents, they can file what is called a runaway report with the police. It isn’t illegal to runaway and this report does not go on your permanent record, but it is a status offense due to your age. If the police come into contact with you, they will likely return you home unless there is some danger. Thinking about how your parents would react and if they will contact police is something big to consider as you think about leaving!
As far as getting a birth certificate goes, you would need to contact your local Vital Records and request it through that. If you aren’t able to ask your parents for your birth certificate or ask for their help on getting a new one, another family member may be able to request one for you from vital records. Here is a link that may help with that: http://www.scdhec.gov/VitalRecords/BirthCertificates/.
You may also consider where you will go, how you will make money, how will you get to and from school, how will you go to the doctor and dentist when you need to? There is something in place to make sure homeless youth can still go to school called the McKinney Vento Act. Here is the contact information for the liaison in your area: Linda Mirabal-Pace 803-734-6010. We found that at https://ed.sc.gov/finance/grants/scd...ren-and-youth/. You can contact her and ask how you could go about staying in school.
Before leaving, you may consider talking to a teacher or guidance counselor about what is going on that is making you think about running. They may be able to help you think of things you previously had not. You may also consider other options such as staying with another family member or friend’s family. We are here 24/7 at 1-800RUNAWAY. Call us anytime and we will be happy to discuss options and things before you leave. We can also conference call between you and your parents if you think having a conversation with them can lessen the need to leave. We would serve as an advocate for you and be a neutra party which is often helpful in stressful conversations! You can reach us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We are also here for you if and when you do choose to leave. Call us anytime or live chat us on our website in the afternoons or evenings. You are smart for reaching out and we hope all the best for you! You are not alone!