Too Scary to Make Friends

One of my #1 Travel Annoyances is when people “travel” but they go to places like Starbucks or McDonalds. C’mon people… you are supposed to be TRAVELLING, you know, experiences NEW things, trying NEW food & drink. Not experiencing America but on different coordinates.

But yet today, here I am in a Starbucks, in the seaside city of Malaga, Spain, sipping an espresso. I also have my glasses on even though I’m indoors and my face towards the wall. Why might you ask?

Well, let me tell you.

Before going to bed I attempted to close the window by my hostel bed to drown out the noise from the streets below but the beds are stupidly placed so that is impossible to close the window. Then, at about 4 am in the morning I woke up itching my face and being the sleuth that I am, deduced that a swarm mosquitoes had flown in the window in the night and attacked my face. That, or it could have been the allergic reaction to the shellfish dinner I shared with me, myself, and I last night.

Anyways… I didn’t have a mirror so I had to take this picture in the middle of the night to see what was happening to my face.

And to my horror what do I find…

***WARNING: Content below could scare small children.

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AHHHHHHHHH

Terrifying.

I even startled the pharmacist this morning when I walked up to the counter, slid my glasses down my nose to reveal the squishy puff pastry under my eye, and desperately pleaded, “ayudame” (help me)!

Later this morning I had to check out of my hostel and not knowing what else to do with myself and my puffy eye, I headed to the comfort and familiarity of Starbucks and tucked myself into the corner.

Moral of the story: Sometimes solo travel is AWESOME and sometimes it SUCKS, like when all you need is someone to wrap their arms around you and tell you that you do not, in fact, look like an Orc or even slightly resemble Will Smith from Hitch.