Living Life. Being myself. Being true to who I am through the ups and the downs of life.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Inspiration through General Conference

For those readers of mine that don't know what General Conference is, it is a bi-annual conference of talks presented by leaders of the LDS church. The talks range from a variety of topics and it is presented live and broadcast on tv. It has 5 sessions and lasts 2 days.

I have to say I usually don't get too much into it and go through the motions but this year I really enjoyed it and found a lot of inspiring quotes or antedotal experiences that apply to a lot of what I am going through in my own life. Even if you are not religious I think that for the most part it can be applied to anyone. I've compiled my favorite quotes below and linked the whole talks next to the title. Enjoy!

"Another young couple tearfully told me they had just come from a doctor where they were told they would be unable to have children of their own. They were brokenhearted with the news. They were surprised when I told them that they were actually quite fortunate. They wondered why I would say such a thing. I told them their state was infinitely better than that of other couples who were capable of being parents but who rejected and selfishly avoided that responsibility.

I told them, “At least you want children, and that desire will weigh heavily in your favor in your earthly lives and beyond because it will provide spiritual and emotional stability. Ultimately, you will be much better off because you wanted children and could not have them, as compared to those who could but would not have children.”

Still others remain unmarried and therefore childless. Some, due to circumstances beyond their control, are raising children as single mothers or single fathers. These are temporary states. In the eternal scheme of things—not always in mortality—righteous yearning and longing will be fulfilled.

“If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.”

One thing I love about my faith is that it teaches that even if you are not able to have children in this life you will be given the opportunity to have them in the next life. I think women who suffer from infertility and don't have the desired amount of children or any children at all will be blessed infinatly so in the next life. It's not easy all the time and there's times when I just wished I could be "normal" but I guess this a trial in my life that I have been called to pass through and patience is key. I believe in a God that is loving and wants me to be happy and know that in the end he will not keep me from having the family I desire. That gives me comfort.

It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel.

I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop.

There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience. Those reasons come from this one fact: in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to live in families forever. Only those washed perfectly clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be there.

I like this because we may not always recieve the answers we want and perhaps even if we knew the answers its not always what we want to hear. But theres not always an explaination and I firmly believe that one day we'll know why we are called to pass through the things we just don't understand right now. Can I say that my foundation is unshaken? Absolutely not. There's days where I am just so angry and want to just shake my fist in the air and ask why me. But there is time to build that up and I'm working on it.

"To all of you who have challenges, concerns, disappointments, or heartaches with a dear one, know this: with infinite love and everlasting compassion, God our Heavenly Father loves your afflicted one, and He loves you!

Some might ask when faced with such suffering, how could Almighty God let this happen? And then that seemingly inevitable question, why did this happen to me? Why must we experience disease and events that disable or call precious family members home early or extend their years in pain? Why the heartaches?

At these moments we can turn to the great plan of happiness authored by our Heavenly Father. That plan, when presented in the pre-earth life, prompted us all to shout for joy.2 Put simply, this life is training for eternal exaltation, and that process means tests and trials. It has always been so, and no one is spared.

Trusting in God’s will is central to our mortality. With faith in Him, we draw upon the power of Christ’s Atonement at those times when questions abound and answers are few.

Again I don't always enjoy the trials that I'm called to go through but I know that in the end it will make me grow as a person. In a lot of ways it already has. Going through having a sick baby and infertility sucks, but there are many blessings that have come from it as well. I see the world in a whole new light and am so grateful for what I do have. I don't have all the answers right now but I know that one day I'll have my ENTIRE family together and those little spirits waiting will be reunited with us. When they do get here I'll scold them and ask WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP THERE?!?

Paxton’s family has learned they are surrounded by countless heavenly and earthly ministering angels. Some have quietly slipped in when needed and silently slipped out. Others have been at the door with food, doing the laundry, picking up the siblings, calling with encouragement, and especially praying for Paxton. Thus another special lesson learned: If you come upon a person who is drowning, would you ask if they need help—or would it be better to just jump in and save them from the deepening waters? The offer, while well meaning and often given, “Let me know if I can help” is really no help at all.

We continue to learn the important value of being aware of and interested in the lives of those around us, learning not only the importance of giving help but also the overwhelming joy that comes from helping others.

I remember when I was watching this talk on TV I rewound these last two paragraphs and said "YES" with a little fist pump. I can't tell you how many times when we were in the NICU I heard people say, "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you." Of course I'm not going to. So I loved how he applied it to drowning. Don't ask, just do. I can't tell you how grateful I was for the people who did step up and just DID for us. I remember coming home from a long day at the NICU and saw my bathroom was sparkling white. I asked Chase if he had done it to which he replied "no". Turns out my landlord came down and had come in and cleaned it herself. I had so many special people that stepped up and helped us and for that I was so grateful. It was always small. A meal here, a hug there, a bottle of hand sanitizer with lotion, green fuzzy socks that I wore ALL the time. Such little things but huge to a person going through so much heartache can make a whole world of difference.

"But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt."

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.

We are not perfect.

The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

I know I have been guilty of this, especially with my heartaches of bringing children onto this earth. It's so easy to take something so small that someone said to you and turn it so big when it wasn't meant out of malice. I believe people are overall good but many are ignorant to others heartaches. We all are. On message boards I see so many bitter infertile women. It's easy to do. To envy others. To take what they say as "offensive". But what good does that do? It doesn't help you feel better and it doesn't help them. It's just pointless. Love this talk! So many women (and men) including myself need to read and apply this!