Alexander Wang's Fall 2010 collection hit the runways at New York Fashion Week tonight, and if he has his way, a high-fashion version of my goth wardrobe from freshman year of high school will be all the rage come September.

Let's just get this out of the way: I am not a fashion person, so take my commentary with an unfashionable grain of salt. That said, is this...metallic velvet? Metallic. Velvet. Oh dear. Oh my. I think we're going to need to resurrect Contempo Casuals so we can all buy the knockoff metallic velour versions and then instantly regret them upon leaving the store.

I seem to remember Neve Campbell wearing a variation of this outfit in The Craft, which I'm pretty sure served as inspiration for this collection, which is filled with gothy black velvet, leather, long black coats, and even schoolgirl backpacks.

A similar pattern, modeled by Agyness Deyn, I believe.

Look, you guys, I know this is high-fashion, and I know this collection will probably get raves, as Alexander Wang typically does, but this ensemble is a bit Hot Topic to me. Midriffs are also big in this collection, solidifying its "'96 or bust" theme.

I actually this dress is quite beautiful, but I'm a bit distracted by the fact that the model is wearing what I believe to be a velvet choker. Velvet chokers, crew! It's like Claire's: The Expensive Version.

This is very Cher Horowitz, no?

I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure this model has a fake horse hoof attached to her scarf or sleeve, which is kind of weird but also kind of awesome, no?

I had a variation on this see-through blouse from Express back in the 90s that I wore everywhere with a black tank-top underneath. I also wore this expression everywhere in the 90s, because I was a teenager and fuck you, that's why.

Velvet, leather, and cut-outs galore.

The red velvet is really rich and beautiful here.

I don't know, you guys. Are we ready for this? I can't see anyone dressed like this without thinking that they're in a pop video from 1998.

So, so gothy. Right? The sunglasses in this collection are a lot of fun.

I actually like this and would like to see someone daring try to wear it to a red carpet event. But who? Any ideas?

The gold was a nice contrast from the rest of the collection, but at the same time, it feels a bit out of place in some ways.

All of these clothes are very interesting, yet I'm not sure how anyone will be able to pull them off beyond the runway. But I guess that's kind of the point?

All of it feels very 90s rockstar, no? Like D'Arcy Wretsky should own them?

This is a bit too Matrix-y, methinks.

Red velvet pants! Or are they leggings? Or are they like jeggings, only velvet? Veggings?

$10 bucks and a Kit Kat says Victoria Beckham already has this on order.

"I bind you Nancy, from doing harm."

I am...not sure what's going on here.

And I'm not sure what's going on here, either.

This is like a goth-punk version of one of those seashell soaps your grandma had in her bathroom in the 80s, no?

That's a lot of coat!

Get ready to hear more about these: the Wang backpacks are already all over Twitter and it looks like they'll be the big takeaway from the collection. As long as we don't go back to grown women wearing teddy bears on their backs, I guess a backpack revival is okay.

I love this, actually. It's like Little Red Riding Hood, during her goth phase. And I should also point out that I'm a big fan of the boots in this collection, as well.

The designer himself looked pretty happy backstage...

And Anna Wintour looked fairly amused in the front row...

but in the end I just kind of want to know what Tavi thinks!

And I also really, really want to watch The Craft. Whatever! You know you want to, too.