Friday, April 15, 2011

I don't like it when I bring MY kids sand toys to the park and random kids just take them to play with as community property. I mean if I am there with you and your kid plays with it, I am fine with it. But if you don't know me, your kid shouldn't be coming up to me and helping themselves to my things.

I Confess....

I don't like kids. Let me rephrase that. I don't like the random stranger kids. Your kids I like.

I Confess...

I am a clock watcher. No matter what I am doing. I watch the clock. It bugs me that I do this. And the harder I try not watch the clock, the more I do it. It's 9:22 right now.

I Confess...

I am enjoying Spring break. So far we've only managed two fun activities for the kids. But it's about me right? And it is 9:23.

I Confess...

If my shows are in repeats, I will find older shows that have been canceled and are now being run on Hallmark. Last night it was Frasier. That show was hilarious. I loved Niles the best I think.

It's 9:25

I Confess...

Last night when I played Sorry with Ryan, I really hoped he would win. I just didn't want to deal with the pouting. He won.

I Confess...

I haven't touched my other blogs in months now. Will the cyber gods delete them?

I Confess...

We haven't paid our taxes. But don't worry. That is going out TODAY. It's April 15th people!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

In real life I have a few good friends. In cyber space I have millions alot more friends. I feel connected to each and every one of you. You sit with me each day, sometimes at breakfast, or lunch. Maybe you have a Diet Coke with you. Maybe your kids are fighting over something totally petty and you yell at them to be quiet because you are reading blogs. No? Just me? Well anyway....do you ever wish you could meet your cyber BF's? Some of you have. And I am sooo jealous. I always thought that would be soo cool.

Well yesterday me, and my real life BF EmmyMom got to meet Glamazon! The one and only. Her family is vacationing here in (sometimes) sunny CA at the Magic Kingdom. It was her that suggested we all get together. And I am so glad she did. I am also...well...touched that she would take time away from her family vacation to come and sit with me and Emmy. I was excited to meet her and wasn't the least bit worried about awkwardness. There wasn't any. We just sat down to lunch like old friends. And it was a blast. Now I just wish we lived closer. Maybe next time I am in Utah, I will have to look you up Glam!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Tonight everything is classical in the ballroom. Right down to having a live 46 person orchestra. Will it prove to be distracting or simply adding ambiance? I think it was a huge distraction. And not just for me, but for the pros and the celebs as well. They were having to upstage that orchestra. I want to see the dancers not the orchestra.

Romeo, Romeo wherefore is thine garment? Seriously, why is this a must for you? Well whatever. Chelsie took him to play some basket ball to help him associate focus and aggression for their dance. The Paso Doble. If he wasn't so hooked on himself I might like him. The dance was good. But, I saw not one but two lifts! Watch out for the lift Nazi! At the end of the dance, Romeo had taken off his vest revealing his once again bare chest.

Romeo and Chelsie Hightower 1-800-868-3405

Len scolded him for it. "Have a little decorum! You don't see me flaunting myself about!" He added that the dance was full of passion. Attack. Intensity. "You're like a young cult. Chelsie, you got to get the whip out!"

Bruno told him the dance was focused and action packed. He commended him for working with such difficult music and the fact that he managed to get it right.

The first thing out of The Lift Nazi's Carrie Ann's mouth was the fact that she saw two lifts. After that she gushed to Romeo about the fact that this was the first Paso she saw with a swagger. Okay Carrie calm down woman! You are engaged! She said it was fantastic powerful fully confident and amazing.

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 7 (lower due to lifts)
Len: 8
Bruno: 8
Total: 23

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel 1-800-868-3407

Kendra and Louis are dancing The Vieneese Waltz tonight. Kendra, in the back story interviews says how she is completely screwed because she is supposed to be graceful. I think she needs an attitude adjustment. She did very well in rehearsal, but on the dance floor she was too much in her own head and ended up being very stiff.

Bruno began very softly, "Kendra you messed up. You know that." He told her that the technique is very difficult and she needed to become one with the character. Live it. Kendra argued that she only had 4 days to learn the dance. Yes, Kendra you and the 8 remaining couples.

Carrie Ann told her that she could see that she was trying really hard. And added that this was not easy choreoagraphy. And she told her that she stopped the elegance from coming up.

Len said it had flow and movement. And then he chastised Bruno for being cruel. Okay Len stop drooling on the bunny chick!

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 6
Len: 6
Bruno: 6
Total: 18

Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskya 1-800-868-34006

Sugar Ray and Anna also danced The Viennese Waltz. To teach Sugar Ray about grace, Anna takes him to a ballet class. He had to wear tights! And not just any tights. These were bright blue! What a good sport he was. He participated and took in what they were trying to get across. I have to say, I enjoyed his dance this week. His whole face was lit. He was having a blast. I am not sure it is enough to make the cut. But he sure had fun.

Carrie Ann told him it was like watching a 6th grader perform. "Giddy with excitment."She said that she fell in love with that dance.

Len said that Sugar Ray Leonard has turned into the Sugar Plum Fairy. (The dance was set to Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker. "The Sugar Plum Fairy." He said, "The more I got into it the more I smiled."

Bruno said that Baryshnikov will not lose his sleep tonight. He said the dance had a cartoonish charm. It was better than the last week, and as enetrtaniment it was excellent.

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 7
Len: 7
Bruno: 7
Total: 21

1-800-868-3404

Petra and Dmitry are dancing The Paso Doble. A fiercely aggressive dance. Petra is quiet and meek. To help her learn that aggression, Dmitry went with her to a photo shoot to teach her the character. It worked. She did very well and played that aggression to the hilt.

Len wasn't as impressed as me. He said that was a little more poetry in her feet and legs. And that he was more impressed than depressed. Then added it was a little brittle.

Bruno said it was not Petra. It's Carrrrrrrrmen. (As in the Opera) A woman that knows what she wants. And knows how to get it. And she will! Bruno proceeds to tear his blazer off with cheers and screams from the audience. Tom warns them not to encourage him.

Carrie Ann said that Petra is on a roll. That she was confident and absolutely gorgeous. She reminded her to work on her core strength.

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 8
Len: 7
Bruno: 8
Total: 23

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff 1-800-868-3408

Ralph and Karina danced their Waltz to Romeo and Juliet. During rehearsals, Karina gets on him for his "spatula hands!" The dance is very nicely done and beautifully acted.

Bruno said it was achingly romantic and totoally heartfelt. He went to say it had brilliant story telling throughout dancing.And finally thanked Ralph for continuing the lines.

Carrie Ann said that he is so honest when he dances."You have an honest connection to the emotions and I was swept in."

Len told him, "You were in the wilderness for two weeks, but you are back!!!"

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 8
Len: 8
Bruno: 9
Total: 24

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson 1-800-868-3403

Hines and Kym dance The Paso Doble Hines' big struggle this week is the fact that there will be no words just music. It didn't matter. He scored on this one!! Very intense and danced fabulously.

Carrie Ann said, "You are in the zone! Touchdown!"

Len told Hines that he is the most determined of all the celebriteis! He works hard and said that he is doing great.

Bruno told him he had that killer instinct and the dance was truly explosive.

Chelsea and Mark are dancing their Viennese Waltz to the theme from Harry Potter. Chelsea wants Mark to push her this week. And he does. Now dancing to this particular music is not an easy thing. And I can see why they chose to be so fun and unconventional. However....

Len said to Mark, "It is no doubt you are a marvelous teacher. And Chlesea you are a fantastic dancer. Why is it there's something I don't like each week?" Bruno begins waving an imaginary wand exclaiming, "Expeliomous, Voledmort, Expeliomous!" Len retorts with, "Why don't you jump on your Nimbus 2000 and bugger off!" Len went onto explain that the dance is 300 years old and should be treated as such. He added that overall he liked it.

Bruno said it was magical and fabulous and "Musical and delicious." He added that it was the best dance of the night.

Carrie Ann said that sometimes she agrees with Len. But tonight..."I agree with BRUNO!'

Chris and Cheryl bring his wrestler self to the dance floor for their Paso Doble and now Chris Jericho has officially wowed me. He was intense, strong and danced it well!

Bruno said it was majestic like thunder and that it was excellent.

Carrie Ann complimented him on being so connected to the music. And then added, "People better watch out for this guy!"

Then Len insisted that the music conquered him. Dude, wait what? Which dance did you watch!? He was going to say more, but was cut off. Who knows if he would have said that he liked the performance.

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 8
Len: 7
Bruno: 8
Total: 23

Kirstie Alley and Maks Chmerskovsky 1-800-868-3411

Kirstie and Maks are dancing the Waltz and during rehearsal and Kirstie sustains a hip injury. She is mad about it. "It pisses me off when pain inhibbits me from doing what I want." I hear ya! Despite pain, the show must go on and she performs exceptionally....despite the fact that her foot literally pops out of the top half of her shoe!! She was able to quickly tuck her toes back in place and finish the dance without hardly missing a beat! And a true professional, you didn't see one ounce of frustration on her face during that performance.

Carrie Ann said that she is the Queen of unexpected mishapps. "Whose shoe comes off?" But she praised for dancing so beautifully.

Len said that the novement needs flow more. That her footwork needs to be cleaner. And her posture needs to be stronger.

Bruno said, "I thought you did amazingly well. You were light on your feet. Despite what happened you did fantastic!

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 7
Len: 7
Bruno: 8
Total: 22

Tonights elimination: Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskya. Sadly there was too much chaos going on around me so I missed what he had to say. He will be missed, but I bet we will see him in the audience rooting for the rest. And we will see him and all those who get eliminated on the season finale.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

It is time for the Status Quote. You know where you collect funny, strange, and unusual status updates from your friends! You don't even have to use names. Just the update. We must protect the guilty innocent. So link up with me and EmmyMom!

I come inside the house today and brother says "Oh and sister Don't play on the Wii because I'm playing my lego batman game on it" Hello to you to brother My day was fine thanks for asking...Kids! Especially the older ones. ;)

I have just discovered for the 2nd time this week that my underwear is inside out. What is going on??????????? Recycling?

I sure am glad that the super massive black hole in the middle of the Milky Way galaxy is 25,000 light years away from us. Whew!

When you eat a spicy pickle before drinking coffee, it makes the coffee taste like burnt popcorn. I will take your word for it, k.

When the trunk is full it's time to leave the mall :( Nah, just start putting stuff inside the car. It's never time to leave!SAD NEWS - Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough,plus they had one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. I have seen this before, but it is so punny I had to add it.

From an old journal I found today...
"Today was the most embarrassing day EVER. I walked up to my boss, and pointed to a picture on her desk. I said: "How cute! Is that you and your husband?" She glared at me and said, "No M. That is me and my MOTHER." "
What was mortifying to my 18 year old self gave me a good laugh today!! I bet 18 y/o self wanted to crawl under the floor boards. Grown up self probably nearly peed from laughing so hard.

Just saw a note on my desk. "Pay student loon." Oh dear. Where did the loon go? Hey I saw that loon....he's crazy!

What white lies do you tell your children? (i.e. McDonald's is closed.) I plead the 5th.Wish I was going to a tropical deserted island this summer where I can just lay on the beach and do nothing with no worries. If I plan it, who wants to join me? Me! Me! Me!

Don't get the kids meals at Burger King right now- you run the risk of getting the obnoxious drumming bunny. Your welcome. I owe you one. Let's boycott them.

Dear Teachers,Please excuse my kids from doing their homework. I just don't feel like it right now. Sometimes you just don't want to.

Friend/Teacher Response: If your kid was in my class, I'd give them an A just for the honesty. You are now my favorite teacher!

Friend/Teacher #2: What?!?! I didn't ask you if you felt like it! :p I would say you are a meanie, but I say that to my own kids. So I like you too! :D

Monday, April 11, 2011

What is that a picture of? ....That's right! Those are Easter Eggs. What part of Easter do the eggs represent? The celebration of Spring and new birth! Wow...you guys are on fire for a Monday morning. So what in the world is a Spring Sphere you ask. Well I am so glad you did!

A high school student, did a week of volunteer work at a local public elementary school. It was the last week before Spring break and she thought she might close her volunteering by bringing the third graders plastic eggs with candies. Being a responsible young lady, she asked permission from the teacher first. The teacher agreed so long as she replaced the term "Easter Eggs" with "Spring Spheres."

Excuse me!? WTH!? Spring what??? The cool part is, she brought them in, the teacher said, "Ooooh! Look Spring Spheres." To which the kids replied, "Easter Eggs cool!" Even the parks in the city are not calling it an Easter Egg Hunt. You guessed it...a Spring Sphere Hunt! To read the article, go here. Let's forget for a moment that eggs are not ROUND! But how ridiculous is this? Is the White House going to call it the Spring Sphere Roll??? I am going to keep on calling it Easter. Easter Eggs! Easter Candy. Easter Bunny! What? That insults the rabbit community? Perhaps we should now refer to him as the Spring Rabbit. Or is that too obvious?