There are times in every homeschooling mom's life that we
wonder if we're doing the best we can. We wonder if we are teaching our
children everything they need to know. We question the possibility of
"gaps" in their scholastic achievements. Unfortunately, these kinds of
question often manifest themselves in our own anxiety, worry and fear.
And too often these things are transferred to our children as we push
harder and expect more. Instead of seeing improvement we often see
negligence, laziness and lack of motivation.

As
I graded our son's Bible essay, I made a list in the margin of the
things that needed correction. There were a few spelling errors,
grammar, and punctuation mistakes. I sighed as I read over the list.
These were things he should know! Things I know we have covered and
that he has mastered. I was frustrated. What was the missing piece to
this puzzle? Why wasn't he doing his best? As I read the list over once
again my eyes stopped on the last line.

"Otherwise a good essay. Love, Mom."

As
I studied that last line a Scripture came to mind that I had read the
week before: Therefore
encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are
doing. -1 Thessalonians 5:11. Was this last line the most
I could offer my son in the form of encouragement?

As
a Christian I am cautious of the "self-esteem" theory that builds
children up in their abilities without ever correcting their mistakes.
I have perhaps been overly careful not to create a prideful spirit
within my children from too much boasting. But here was the Scripture
telling me to do just that: to encourage and build up my children! As I
meditated on this the Lord ministered these things to my heart:

·
Encouraging and building up one another is a command from the Lord. As
this Scripture states, we should build one another up, encourage one
another, in every area of good works - even math and spelling. It's
enough for me to know that the Lord said to do it. I don't need pages
upon pages of psychological data to affirm the benefits of this sort of
instruction though they certainly are available. I find that as I apply
this to our home school I am seeing our children strive to better
themselves and their work.

·
It isn't dangerous to build-up my children in areas of good works. In
fact, it frequently spurs them on to MORE good works. Just what I am
looking for! I think my fear of creating a prideful spirit in them
comes from my own struggle in this area. I have always desired verbal
affirmation from those closest to me and thought it to be a prideful
desire. It's not! Jesus knew we would need encouragement and so
commanded us to encourage one another. Building up our children does
not mean we are bragging or boasting about their abilities. And I'm
certainly not suggesting that we parade our children's efforts in front
of all who care to look for the purpose of "encouraging" them. I am
speaking of the quiet times in our home when we as parents are teaching
and instructing.

·
Too often my list of "corrections" is far longer than my list of
encouraging words. If I look I can always find something to be
encouraging about: penmanship, creativity, his abilities that could be
added here or there. For instance, if his spelling is awful I can
mark the misspelled word(s) and also mention that he did a wonderful
job of choosing the word to use in the first place. If a nine-year old
uses the word "providence" in the correct context but spells it
"provadense", it still deserves praise!

·
When I do need to correct I should strive to do it in a loving and
graceful way. Never critical, never angry, never resentful or
frustrated. Always for the building up and betterment of my child. I
can go back to 1 Corinthians and read the 13th chapter. When I apply
these principles to my teaching and correcting I always get wonderful
results.

I also think it's important to
remind ourselves that what we should desire to see in our children is
progress not perfection. Let's face it: we, as their instructors and
guides, are not perfect. How can we expect them to be?

I
press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call
of God in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:14

charlotte mason
& the large family

It has always been my opinion
that Charlotte Mason's way of educating lends itself especially towards
families of larger than average size. As the oldest of 6 children, all
of whom my mother homschooled, we incorporated many of her methods in
our home without even knowing it. I did copywork from old Reader's
Digest magazines while I dreamed of being a "real" writer. That was the
extent of my grammar and composition classes. My younger sisters did
dictation as Mom relived part of her school years by having them write
down their spelling words along with the complete sentences in which
she used them.

And where was
little brother? Usually outside on the front porch with a hammer and
nails. Or sometimes in a tree hoping to climb to the very top in order
to see a deer in our cornfield. Occasionally he would sit down for a
story or an art lesson (which my sister Amy was specially adept at
giving). And at five years old, what better endeavors should he be
engaged in? While all the other children his age were stuck "doing
science" inside glass jars, he was learning to fish and catch tadpoles.
I'm sure Miss Mason would have been pleased.

While a family of
8 isn't as large as some, it is larger than most. At any rate, it
serves the purpose of this study: using Charlotte Mason with a large
family. The biggest obstacle my Mother faced, as I'm sure some of you
can relate to, is the question of what to do with a toddler, baby or
preschooler during school time. Though there are many answers, my
mother employed the following:

- My sisters and I
rotated baby-duty. We called it that not because we saw it as a chore.
Quite the contrary in fact. When our little brother was born his 4
older sisters thought he was just about the cutest thing that ever
lived! To have baby-duty meant to have the supreme, most sought-after
task in the house. Though he was breastfed, we still had the privilege
of changing his diaper, bib, and outer clothes as the need arose. We
made sure it arose often. He was our own little play-doll. While the
one sister had baby-duty, two of us worked independently while Mom
worked with the other. We just switched between baby-duty and
independent study until we had all had Mom for our toughest lesson of
the day.

The teacher
who allows his scholars the freedom
of the city of books is at liberty to be their guide, philosopher
and friend; and is no longer the mere instrument of
forcible intellectual feeding.
- C. Mason; Vol. 6, pp. 32.

- We all did many
independent studies and incorporated schoolwork into our daily lives.
For one of us that meant lots of reading and report writing, for one
sister in particular it meant doing the dishes and learning to cook
(and add fractions at the same time). For our youngest sister it
meant pouring over any and all printed matter having to do with horses.

It
is well we should recognize that the business of
education is with us all our lives, that we must always
go on increasing our knowledge.
-C. Mason; Vol. 6, pp. 54.

-
We were encouraged to take up outside projects, start our own
businesses, help neighbors and church family in any way we could. So
much for the socialization query. In addition to teaching us basic
skills needed for employment and interaction with the adult world, it
taught us to never waste our time. We were always researching,
thinking, doing something. Even in our play we could be found
reenacting our history lesson of the day. Another form of narration.

It
will be noticed that the child is educating herself;
her friends merely take her to see the things she
already knows about and she tells what she has read,
a quite different matter from the act of pouring information
down the throats of the unhappy children who are taken
to visit our national treasure houses.
-C. Mason; Vol.6, pp. 77.

-
Mom did as little actual teaching as possible. She very rarely stood
between the book and the child instead letting us wring out everything
we could from it ourselves. We did unit studies frequently - after we
had learned the material we would play school and teach it to our dolls.

All
schoolwork should be conducted in such a manner
that children are aware of the responsibility of learning;
it is their business to know that which has been taught .
To this end the subject matter should not be repeated.
- C. Mason; Vol.6, pp.74

While it can be
said that most of Miss Mason's correspondence families employed one or
more house servants to help out with domestic chores, homeschool
mothers of today have more servants than most of them dreamed of!
Consider our automatic clothes washers and dryers. Our dishwashers and
hot water heaters. Microwave ovens, bread machines, deep freezes and
take-out food delivery are all on our payroll. Not to mention
climate-controlled homes autumn through summer. Milk is as close as our
refrigerator, and eggs by the dozen require no more effort than placing
them in our shopping carts.

Additionally, her
insistence on leaving a child alone in his quest for knowledge until
the age of 6 further eases our burden. Narration, copywork, great
books, great artists and composers - all of the ingredients for a
liberal education are there without the "work and preparation" of a
classical or classroom model.

When all is said
and done, it can be seen that Miss Mason's methodical lack of tedious
teacher-involvement, lesson planning and regurgitating of information
for the students benefit lends itself perfectly to large families. In
homes where there is a 6,8, even 10 to 1 teacher-student ratio this way
of educating our children fits the bill perfectly. Few are the hours of
planning, gathering materials, creating and scoring multiple choice
tests.

And on the subject
of what to do with our pre-school aged children during school hours, I
hope you find the following links helpful.

First off, I must make a confession. I am NOT one of those natural
Martha Stuart types who has a crispy clean house and never misses an
appointment. I'm not an expert. On the contrary. I found out after the
birth of our second child that being perfectly organized is a myth. I
accepted the fact (finally) that being a great housekeeper means
working towards
perfection but never really arriving. And finally...I'm fine with that.
I didn't become truly organized until I gave up the notion of being
"finished" at the end of a day. Until I did I constantly felt burdened,
over-worked, unappreciated, and down-right miserable.

Being a wife-mom-teacher is a tough job and while being
wonderfullly organized is, well...wonderful - it can become a millstone
around our necks if we allow it to. I was caught in that trap of
feeling as though I didn't accomplish anything at the end of the day.
Ladies, Satan is a great deciever and if he can make you believe this
lie you are in trouble! The world has the view that we must "see
resluts" in order to judge something worthwhile or valuable. Being a
stay-at-home mom and homeschooling doesn't often include this concrete
proof that we are doing well. In fact, I go to bed with dirty laundry
in the hamper every night and dirty dishes in the sink. It doesn't
matter that I was up until 10pm trying to "finish" everything. Someone
needed a last-minute drink of water. Someone had an accident and needed
to change their night clothes. And bedsheets. And blankets. Again.

While I'm ever
completely finished with housework, and certainly never as
organized as I'd like to be, I have found a few things that help. Keep
in mind, that I implemented these things over the course of about 2
years. I know... you want things better Now. So did I and that is part
of what is adding to your frustration. I've listed the things below in
order of greatest effect. Take my advice though (if you want to
call it that) and just implement one thing at a time. Don't try to have
an organization boot-camp and get everything "together" in one day or
week. Slow down. :-)

1. Do the best you can and give the rest to
the Lord. Take time each day to do just that. Carve out 30 minutes to
an hour every day to pray, be still, and rest. Make this a priority!

2. Ask your husband to pray for you
on a daily basis. Don't overwhelm him with a 10 item list. Pick one
thing and ask for him to lift it up to the Lord. I was amazed at the
results of this. God is so good!

3.Before committing to any outside
activities or ministries, ask yourself this one question:

Does
this have anything to do with
my calling as a wife and mother?

Right now that's your ministry - your home
and family. I'm not suggesting that you never commit to outside
ministries but just do it prayerfully.

4. Involve your children in daily home
cleaning tasks. Be positive about it, take time to really train them on
a job well done, and be appreciative of their best efforts. It doesn't
have to be perfect it just has to be their best.

5. Buy or make yourself a daily planner.
If you already have one get it out. USE IT. Do not schedule anything
without looking at it first. Take a few minutes each week to talk with
your husband about his schedule that week.

So if I'm not
perfectly organized and if I have in fact given up on ever being perfectly
organized, why am I writing this article? To share the joy that can
come with freedom. Hopefully you clicked on this article looking for
THE tip to help you finally accomplish that task. It's never going to
happen dear sister. Just do the best you can and lean on the Lord for
the rest.

To
quote the famous author, William Shakespeare, phonics programs these
days can be summed up in four words: "Much ado about nothing." Pick up
any homeschool catalog and you will be bombarded by programs, books,
audio and video tapes all touted as being the "best" at teaching your
child to read. It's really quite overwhelming. Not to mention the
fact that most if not all of these programs are in the $100 range and
some are quite a bit more than that. I am not proposing that these
programs will not teach your child to read. On the contrary, they do so
quite nicely, with colored photographs of an "ant" for "a", "bicycle"
for "b" and so on. What I am proposing is that although visually
stimulating, they are not at all necessary in the instruction of
phonics.

Phonics,
by it's very nature, requires memorization. You must be able to look at
each letter and relate it with the sound it makes. That's it. All the
bells and whistles you buy will not make this happen magically, or in
my opinion, make it happen any easier. All you really need to teach you
child to read is a basic phonics manual and a small chalkboard. More on
that in a minute. I'm sure some of you may be asking the question,
"What makes her the expert?"

Well,
simply put... I'm not an expert and that is precisely the point.
Consider the following: During colonial days, children were taught to
read (usually by their parents) with nothing more than the Bible and a
slate. Often slates were not even available and pieces of bark were
used with bits of charcoal acting as a marker. Primitive? Yes. Did it
really work? Absolutely! Even in situations where there was a teacher
and slates/paper and quill were available, there were no fancy do-dads
to teach the sounds of each letter. They were learned by rote, or
repetition. Add all you like; lovely pictures, glossy photographs, you
still must learn the sounds and be able to recall them on sight of each
letter. WITHOUT a picture to spark your memory.

Ok.
Back to the phonics manual and the chalkboard. The manual can be anyone
you choose so long as it stands alone. Your child won't have flash
cards, photographs, etc. when she reads independently of you and isn't
that the ultimate goal? To teach phonics with pictures alongside each
letter is to post-pone your child learning to really "read". It's fine
for the preschool years, but lay it aside when you sit down to teach
reading. Find one that has spelling rules too and you've bought your
child's first two years worth of language/phonics/reading
"curriculum".

The
chalkboard should be rather small, really only big enough for one
sentence at a time. This way, there isn't room for doodling, and it's
easier for little Johnny to stay focused on the letter you're working
on at the time. As you teach the sound of each letter have your child
copy the letter and you've taught writing alongside reading. Right
where it belongs.

All the fancy programs are great,
and though extravagant and un-needed to my mind, they work fine. But
consider this: the more sophisticated our phonics programs have become,
the lower our national literacy rate has plummeted. The proof, as they
say, is in the pudding (sorry - I couldn't find the author of that one).

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