by Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY

by Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY

WASHINGTON - "One... two... ME!" said Stephen Colbert as he unveiled his wax double Friday at Madame Tussauds just blocks from the U.S. Capitol. "I am so beautiful!"

The Comedy Central comedian addressed reporters, noting the "momentous occasion" by saying, "There comes a time in every great man's life when he must be cast in wax - if only to remove unwanted body hair."

Colbert, 48, went on to crack one-liners, saying, "Madame Tussauds has given me the greatest gift of all --myself. This little fella's gonna come in handy the next time I'm called for jury duty."

The figure, seated at a desk, is wearing a Brooks Brothers suit and features one eyebrow cocked in signature Colbert fashion. "It is 100% accurate, I'm happy to say," noted Colbert, "down to every freckle and hair. I event sent them a DVD of my latest colonoscopy."

The color of his skin, according to the museum, he said, is "semi-gloss Romney-colored."

Colbert seemed particularly happy to become "the latest Waxican American. Being cast is wax is true immortality - as long as the earth is not in any way getting warmer."

He said waxy Stephen is "a legend of the screen, the greatest American figurine since the Ken doll. And unlike the Ken doll, this one is anatomically accurate."

As he petted and licked the statue, he said, "Immortality. There's no chance humanity will ever forget me now - or for at least six months."

As for what it means to him? "Content for my show," he said.

Any other living political figures who should be in wax? House Speaker John Boehner, he said. "He always had a waxy quality to him." And Nancy Pelosi. "She doesn't blink."

When Colbert learned that his Comedy Central pal Jon Stewart does not have a wax figure, he shared a secret. "He doesn't have a public one. He has one at home. Some night's what you're actually seeing on the air is the wax Jon Stewart."

When it was USA TODAY's turn for some questions, he asked the first one: "How is the blue ball doing? It's so versatile, that ball. It can be round. It can be blue."

Interestingly, Colbert's visit to Washington coincided with Gen. David Petraeus testifying on the Hill. "Very similar status," joked Colbert, adding, "I've been on the Hill before. I'd much rather be doing this."

And, he said, "What he's testifying about today isn't funny."

Getting back to being funny, it was noted that Colbert will be in a media area of the museum with Oprah Winfrey and Dan Rather, an area that had been cleared for the press conference and unveiling. Is that a good spot? "Dan Rather's actually in the gift shop right now, which is kind of a fall from CBS News." As for Oprah? "So lovely to be with Oprah. She's kind of my best friend. I'm kind of the new Gayle."