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You know how there’s these ghosts? These Christmas ghosts? And they’re not so much all dead people as they are spirits in the pagan, pantheistic sense? Well, they say every Christmas gets the ghost it deserves (what? they do TOO say that. Now).

And this Christmas, that spirit is legendary chanteuse Jan Terri.

Now, my 2014 was memorable, even if parts of it have been blacked out for my own protection and ability to sleep at night. But it wasn’t all bad. For some of my friends, this year was indeed all bad, and they cannot wait to see its ass out the door. So it is to them that this little ditty is dedicated. You expected an angel singing the praises of the Mother of God and this, THIS, is what you got instead.

Like this:

From the Department of Holy Shit, comes this apology from the Ottawa Citizen to David Bowie. Lest you think this a minor fracas in the media wars, realize that every major media outlet in the planet grabbed this as a headline, thus getting it wrong all the way across the globe. And yes, click the add more.

It’s time for a seriously cheesy, seriously un-serious movie starring one of the Great Old Ones of Hollywood: Lon Chaney Jr. He had a Freudianer, or at least Oedipalier time of it than most, as his father will be forever famous for his portrayals of various costumed monsters. Lon Jr started that way, too, as name recognition is quite useful when it comes to starting a career sometimes; he even changed his name from Creighton Tull Chaney to Lon Jr. He had to wait till his father was safely dead before stepping into his shoes, though. Soon enough he proved himself as a character actor and even, when cleaned up, a leading man, in one of my favorite oldie melodramas, The Shadow of Silk Lennox. But it was just so easy to get jobs in horror films.

His particular niche was slightly dumb, generably amiable, inadvertently sinister character roles. There were quite a lot of them to go around, too. Basically if it was insufficiently classy for Boris Karloff, Chaney got it. He’s most famous for playing the Wolf Man, although to my taste the Spaniard Paul Naschy was better at that role.

Here he is as the faithful servant of a decayed and sinister family in the weirdly mod (check out those opening credits!) 1967 horror flick Spider Baby, or The Maddest Story Ever Told! Someone needs to make an Austin Powers version of this, seriously. Or at least a Scooby Doo one.

In a dilapidated rural mansion, the last generation of the degenerate, inbred Merrye family lives with the inherited curse of a disease that causes them to mentally regress from the age of 10 or so on as they physically develop. The family chauffeur looks out for them and covers up their indiscretions. Trouble comes when greedy distant relatives and their lawyer arrive to dispossess the family of its home.

Bonus: CAROL OHMART! You remember her! From the Vincent Price 1959 classic The House on Haunted Hill (the one that was actually filmed IN the house reputed to be haunted)? She played the conniving trophy wife. Of COURSE she did; just look at her! Anyway, she’s another leading lady who could act rings around most, and who never enjoyed the success she deserved.

Carol Ohmart should have stayed a pantherian brunette rather than a leonine blonde

The suggested cocktail pairing with tonight’s gruesome entertainment is the White Spider Cocktail. Oh yes, there’s another version, but it’s made with vodka and therefore clearly inferior. We’ll wait while you mix yourself one…

Like this:

Daniel Ghoukassian: would YOU pick this for your Facebook photo? He did. I thought it was a mug shot.

Do you know this man? Lucky you, the answer is probably “no.” Because, as it turns out, not a lot of people seem to know this man. The ones who do are presumably not too thrilled about it.

Daniel Ghoukassian has thoughts about People and God

This man, Daniel (Dan) Simmon Ghoukassian, was just arrested and charged in relation to a series of broad-daylight sexual assaults that took place recently in the Oakridge area of Vancouver. Bail was set at $20,000, and as of Thursday, May 22 the suspect will be free to go about his business until his trial date of June 20, subject to as-yet undecided restrictions and of course the payment of bail.

The attacks took place on Cambie Street, a normally quiet, parkway-like corridor featuring small upscale shops, cafes and restaurants galore, and stunning downtown and mountain views. It’s a comfortably middle-class neighbourhood, conspicuous for an unusual number of small, pedigreed dogs being walked by women pushing expensive strollers, and for intense competition in organic grocery offerings. At the intersection of 41st avenue the posh Oakridge Shopping Centre offers preppies upscale casuals and anticipates the new Target. Cambie butts up against the grittier Main Street, home to hipsters, actual working class workers, and mile after mile of soul-deadening “Vancouver Special” houses.

One of them belongs to an “H. Ghoukassian.”

It is walking distance to the area where all three of the sexual assaults took place. The first attack happened March 12, to a 22-year-old woman. The second, May 14 to a 19-year-old. The third happened the next day to a 38-year-old victim. All three took place within a seven block strip of Cambie Street directly west of the Ghoukassian house.

A police officer apprehended Ghoukassian literally lurking in some bushes in the same area on Friday, the 16th.

So who is Daniel Ghoukassian? For one thing, he’s not a man who leaves a big footprint in the world. Although he reportedly used to have a LinkedIn page, searches no longer turn up any record of him there. His Twitter account, last name chopped short to fit the character allowance, features the placeholder “egg” avatar, a scattering of lyrics (some Eminem, some less identifiable), occasional motivational slogans, a lot of fan tweeting to professional wrestlers, and an awful lot of tweeting to famous women who never reply to him. And 40 followers.

There’s a lot of that. Scroll down his Favorites and it’s like strolling through the Miss America pageant, with occasional diversions for pro wrestling and ghost shark photos. And it’s not confined to Twitter, either; it also characterizes his Facebook posts.

There are tens, no, hundreds of millions of men who like beautiful women from television and who use social media to try to get their attention. Nothing ventured, eh? Most, however, can take a hint.

” In 2012, Larry Rosen, professor of psychology atCalifornia State University and author of “iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession with Technology and Overcoming Its Hold on Us,” analyzed 800 Facebook members and tested them for a range of psychological disorders, and found those who most often “like” other people’s activities on Facebook are more likely to show symptoms of “mania” and “compulsivity.””

Ghoukassian uses social media not only to follow but to flatter and court attractive women in news and entertainment, and according to one source has made himself a nuisance over time. It’s the classic “If I hit Like and comment enough, she’s sure to notice me” syndrome with which celebrities are all too familiar. He’s a regular follower of QVC personality Lori Greiner (with whom I did not speak), for example, commentingon her Facebook page and retweetingher. Nothing dirty. Nothing freaky. But just always there, commenting on some woman’s posts, retweeting, favouriting, hoping to get noticed.

His Friends/Following list reads like his Twitter Following list. Yeah, there’s Mike Tyson, and there’s Miranda Cosgrove, Erin Andrews, and Kelly Ripa, along with a host of “hot women in lingerie” types. And the Iron Sheik. So, not so much friends as a collection of celebrities.

Daniel Ghoukassian Me at Mike P’s watching UFC 159 I won the prize for guessing who would win. Free shot tequila. yay5 July 2013 at 19:39

His public profile pictures on Facebook feature only two photos of himself: one at the top of the page, the other here. There are, by way of contrast, sixteen celebrity UFC posters in his profile pictures. Is it too much of a stretch to call that an identity issue? There are over 800 profile photos that are Private, plus all his mobile and timeline photos. His header photos, which bracket this article, are motivational memes.

According to his Facebook info, he’s a former student at BCIT, having graduated from John Oliver High School, just a few blocks farther east. According to his former LinkedIn page, he’s a dishwasher at Boston Pizza. According to his Twitter feed, he’s working two or three jobs.

And according to the Crown Prosecutor, he’s absolutely no danger to the public for the next 28 days.