Wednesday, August 31, 2005

So, I have been trying to come up with a description of what depression feels like for me and I have finally come up with a lengthy metaphor. Here it goes....

I'm going down the road happy as a clam and all of a sudden I find myself in a long dark tunnel. It wasn't on the map. It seemed to appear out of nowhere. I try not to panic because I figure I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel soon but it is nowhere in sight. In the meantime, I discover that this tunnel is filled with a thick viscous pitch from roadwork. I get completely bogged down in it. I keep trying to fight my way forward but I'm held back by the muck I'm trapped in. I really want help. I want someone to come in and help me to pull myself out but at the same time I push them away because I don't want them to get pulled down by the muck as well. So, I keep slogging through the pitch trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, I hear people outside of the tunnel asking me how I got in there in the first place. And I get frustrated because I have no idea and I'm too busy trying to concentrate on getting out to explain the path I took to get in this mess. I just know that as long as I keep moving, I will eventually find my way out.

And that is what depression is like for me. I can almost see a Reign of Ellen cartoon with me in it covered in pitch with a grumpy look on my face.

Welcome to Life by Candlelight. This is the home of the "BOTTOM LINE" book review! I've been blogging since 2003 and have worked in public and privates libraries since 2000. Find tidbits about my life, book reviews and other things currently whirling around in my brain. Unless otherwise stated, all books are either library or personal copies. I specialize in contemporary literary fiction with the occasional children's book review.

For review purposes, Children refers to books appropriate for ages 7 and under, Young Reader refers to books appropriate for ages 8-12 and Young Adult refers to books for ages 13 and up.