As you may have noticed (we’re not exactly subtle on this point), we don’t buy the idea that men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and shuttles between the two are infrequent at best. We tend to think that women and men are a lot more alike than rumor (or headline) has it — especially when it comes to sex and love. But this is not to say that men and women are alike in all matters of love and lust. We’ll even go so far as to admit that some of the cliches about the gulf between men and women turn out to be true.

For example, we have long preached that women need to be incredibly blunt when it comes to asking men for what they want — or telling them what they don’t want. When rebuffing a guy’s advances, a vague and round-about rejection might seem kind, but ultimate it probably just ends up giving him hope. In our opinion, dudes are just programmed to find the tiniest bit of hope in anything a woman says or does.

And now here’s a survey to prove our long-time, amateur-psych theory: Psychologists at the University of Texas and Williams College recently studied undergrad speed-daters and discovered a number of interesting things:

Men who considered themselves attractive overestimated a woman‚Äôs desire for them.

The more attracted the man was to the woman, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him.

Women¬†consistently underestimated men’s sexual interest in them.

Looking for a new year’s resolution? Here are four, inspired by this study: