WARNING: This is not a food blog. Though you can probably find a picture of a sandwich or something if you look hard enough.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

More thoughts on kids.

Are you one of those people who wants to have lots of children? I'd urge you to carefully reconsider this decision. Sure, they're cute and fun. I'll give them that. But sooner or later, if you're not careful, they're going to learn to talk. Sometimes they don't stop, and ask pesky questions like "Do you always drink so much?" and "Do you have a boyfriend? I bet you don't." At dinner with some family friends last night, someone's 12-year old had a few things to say to me.

Kid: Can I give you some contrsuctive criticism?Me: No.Kid: When you smile, you kind of scrunch your eyes up funny and look like you have Down syndrome.Me: I don't think you understand the meaning of the word "constructive."Kid: And you probably shouldn't swear so much in front of children.Me: Can't I give you a time-out or something?

The good thing about kids that aren't your own is that you can teach them to throw spitballs at people while hiding behind the landing and get them in trouble for it because you are obviously too adult for such immature behavior.