Remembering the Gift of Marriage

I’m not sure exactly what possessed us to take on the project – usually engaged couples have lists to tackle, details to attend to.

We were no different. All the same, bypassing dozens – hundreds? – of possible wedding songs available, we decided a few short weeks before wedding day to write our own song :: music, words, the whole thing. See what I mean by possessed?

To our credit, we’re both musicians with a creative knack for words. Teaching wedding singers our latest invention, everything went beautifully without a hitch.

We titled the song “Gift from God”.

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Marriage is a Gift

It’s fairly safe to say as Christian women, we understand marriage was designed by God to be a good thing, a gift. No one argues that point. Yet sometimes, the ‘all-we-ever-wanted’ grows into a cross we must grudgingly bear.

What’s happening to us? This gift we dreamt about and prayed for cannot become what we grow to despise. To pretend that all is roses is hypocrisy; the combining of two personalities, perspectives (not to mention our past) is tricky business and no, it doesn’t always go well. We can and should receive help in those seasons.

But, we can get into trouble when forgetting this principle of God’s: marriage is a gift. God’s perfect idea in our imperfect hands, but an incredible union still.

Our Husbands are a Gift

In a marriage conference once, the speaker asked each spouse to draw a line down a sheet of paper. On one side, we were to write five of our spouse’s weaknesses. I did as asked, assuming we’d write five of our own on the opposite side. There’s was a twist.

“Now, write five of the weaknesses you’d like them to have.”

What? Everyone was stumped, the speaker dove in and made his point. Our spouse has blind spots, personality quirks, annoyances and tendencies towards mistakes — they have weaknesses, they are human. Expecting they never display those is completely unrealistic!

And while we may wish they didn’t do ‘such-and-such’, it’s helpful to remember they are going to be weak in some area. I remember smiling and thinking it’s easier to stick with what I knew! But we are not without hope, we can design them by prayer :: asking the Holy Spirit to shape and mold their hearts, to encourage and uplift them (instead of trying to play Holy Spirit ourselves…ahem).

Even in his mistakes, my spouse is a gift from God.

We are a Gift Together

Here’s the meat of what I’d like to encourage today:

You + Your Spouse = Shaking the World for God

God didn’t just design marriage to be a lovey-dovey relationship where husband and wife are simply all into each other (though this is really nice, right?). He intended we also impact the world around us.

Why did He bring you two together? Two sets of gifts, of different talents and abilities, of various passions and ideas? To shake heaven and earth as one! To move mountains, to further His plan of redeeming a lost world, to expanded the kingdom of God together!

But, we get distracted – doubting God’s plan for our lives, questioning if He really means what He said. Satan takes advantage, filling our hearts with thoughts leading us to words, actions we know are wrong. It worked in the beginning, and that simple plan still stumps husbands and wives today.

It’s happened to me; it’s happened to you.

Again, we are not without hope. We can lift our eyes towards a greater vision and purpose instead of grumbling about him not picking up clothes or attacking the to-do list. Yes, the everyday matters…

..but the eternal matters so much more.

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My husband and I recently celebrated 16 years since crazily writing out our wedding song. Humming our tune throughout anniversary day, I prayed for grace to remember this always:

Marriage is a gift, my husband is a gift – and together? We’re gonna shake this world for Christ’s name.

About devans

Daniele is a pastor’s wife, a homeschool mother of five and a passionate defender of children who need an advocate. Daniele and her family live out their days in Central Pennsylvania where she enjoys cooking, writing, reading and photography. Daniele takes pleasure in documenting family memories and nurturing the spirit of fellow believers on her blog, Domestic Serenity.

RWow awesome post! Very beautifully written, inspiring and encouraging. I went and visited your blog domestic serenity and I have to say that I was uplifted and encouraged even more. Thank you for you God-centered writings and ministering to women’s hearts like mine. Blessings!

This is my heart for my marriage, but it’s kind of surreal when you see someone else put it so clearly, eloquently, and kind of perfectly into words.

I am not currently a mother, but I enjoy reading this blog with future hope for children and because I enjoy seeing other women striving to walk in God’s design for our lives while leaning on his grace to make it through. With that being said, because I don’t have children or a large household to manage, I don’t get on here and expect to be ministered to so relevantly in my life to where I am right now. Thank you so much! It truly blessed me!!

“We are a gift together” I clearly remember waiting and waiting for Mr. Right, struggling with trusting in God’s timing and keeping in mind the hard fact that maybe His better plan was for me to serve him single my whole life. As He worked in my heart I finally started praying “Lord, if it be your will that I and ‘the-possible-Mr.-Right-who-might-be-out-there’ can better serve you as a husband and wife rather than single, please let that happen and make it your will very clear.” And He did, in his timing. Together my husband and I are serving the Lord and it is clear that this is where He wants us. Lovey-dovey stuff is a super-huge plus but it is so true that we are here to shake the world together for Him.