Partying mamas?

Berryessa - posted on 01/21/2011
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As young mothers how often do you think we should be able to get a sitter and go out? My daughters almost 5 months and im 20 years old so obviously I didnt have much time to go clubbing before i had her and im fine with that. I dont really feel the urge to go out with friends like i see other young mothers doing. So what do you girls think?

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Sherry - posted on 01/25/2011

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From what I've seen on here it seems us SAHM need to all get out more... Being with the kids all day everyday can really drive you crazy when it seems your 3 year old becomes your best friend... Some night when my husband gets home we will just go out to Wal-Mart just to see other people... (its been really cold here so we can't do much without the car) but as for partying, as long as you have someone that can be fully trusted with your kids and you don't do it TOO often then it's a good thing to get out, have some drinks... Just make sure not to drink too much cuz the kids don't care if you were out til 3am

My sons 3 and I can count on one hand the times Ive gone out drinking. I'm not a big drinker myself but to each their own. We moms need time to go be women and not just moms.The only time I see a problem with moms ghoing out partying is when theyre out all the time. When you spend more time in the bar or nursing your hangover than you do with your kids then maybe its time to reevaluate your priorities.

Every couple months my girlfriends and I go out for a couple drinks (the last time turned into a couple too many by accident, lol!!!). But I don't have a problem going out, I am a SAHM so I find I really NEED it sometimes just to talk to other ADULTS, it can be hard being in a 3 year old and 10 month olds head all day every day. It is funny though all my gf's have kids and when we go out all we do is talk about our kids!!!!! Go figure! Have fun!!

I don't go out partying or club hopping anymore ether I think when you have a child or baby its your responsibility to take care of them and change your life around for the better of them and you. If you didn't want to change your life well you should of thought of that before climbing into bed with someone or had birth control just a option. TB

The fact that you're even concerned about if and how often you should be able to "go out" shows that you are a caring and responsible mom and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself if you feel like you need a break. It's too bad you didn't get the partying out of your system before baby, but I'd say enjoy this time with her as much as possible and you'll get to indulge in some time out with other adults when she's older and you're older, and it will be more fun anyway! If you are able to have a sitter, my advice is to skip the binge drinking and go get a pedicure and an ice cream instead :) - you won't have to deal with a hangover (trust me, I still breastfeed on demand and drinking sucks - you have to dump your milk, pump in advance, and nursing hungover the next day is not fun, plus you have mother's guilt for even going out!) and let's face it, any pampering time for mama is worth so much more now that we have babies who usually get all the attention, haha!

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Unshell - posted on 01/27/2011

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I totally agree with you Lindsey I hate to see a parent who never have the child, I know quit a few people like that when you have children things are supposed to be sacrificed and if u have to give up your free time and partying time to be at home with your child then so be it, I hardly go anywhere with out my kids, life is short and I dont wont to be one of those parents that has regrets because I chose to do more partying and hanging than to be with my children, dont get me wrong have a little me time isnt a crime but everytime u get a chance u break for the door now that aint cool..

im almost 30, i have two young boys ages 7 n 4, they are with me 24/7 bc their father lost visitation, so i need me time i usually get a sitter at least 2 a month. its ok and healthy and u need time to be something other then just mom

It is good to have your "me" time. That can be anything from working out, having a girls night, or a date night with the hubby. I suggest that if you are married you should at least have 1 night every two weeks. It is very important for a marriage!

It's good for Mom and baby to have time apart. It helps to make you a better mother and gives your child a chance to bond or at least be comfortable around others. However, I really don't feel it is necessary to get a sitter and go out and party every weekend, although it is nice to get out every once in a while. I often see people complaining about "being stuck home" with their children or spouses. This is the choice I made, to have children and a family and I would rather be with them than anywhere else.....I do get to go out dancing with my husband and our best friends usually every 6 months!

Im a SAHM,me & my partner(my sons dad)take it in turns going out on fridays or saturdays,and occasionally my 2yr old stays with my mum & dad if we both have plans or if we do something together. My son also goes to my mum n dads caravan from fri evenin to sunday tea time. So me and my partner get to have a quiet night together or do something together. My son adores his nannie & 'gandowa' (thats what he calls his grandad)so i am always at ease when they look after him. He never stays with anybody else(eg a babysitter or just friends) i dont feel guilty because they are his grandparents & he loves them & they love him to bits. It gives me some time with friends or with my partner who is out of the house from 5.30am to 7pm workin/travelling to work. And when i go out alone it gives my partner & our son time alone together. I am very thankful & lucky that I can still have my own time aswell as been a good mum,my son is very sociable n not clingy so its helped him aswell not been glued to me since he was born. Im 22 enjoy nights out aswell as doin things with my son. We're all happy so theres no problem :-)

We go out about once a month. We kinda have a system because my husband and I are both under 30 and we both still have our friends, which most of them are still single. We go out once together once a month, I will have dinner with the girls once a month while he watches her, he goes and plays poker once a month with the guys and then we have family weekend which we consist of going to dinner and a movie, kinda like a PG date night. We love bowling. I think it is very healthy for women to get out of the house, well not even out like Jodi said. Just do something nice for your self if you don't you will start losing yourself. A great mommy is a healthy happy mommy. You have to take time out to do those things for you.

There's a few girls I know from school I have n Facebook that pawn their kids off on someone almost every other weekend so they can go get drunk, I think it's especially sad because these are the single mommies that should really be trying to get an education and career to support their lo not going out and hooking up with guys which is how you got your kid in the first place. I went out a couple times after my son was born before I got pregnant again but just to my girlfriends house for my birthday and to a bar dressed up on Halloween lol. I wouldn't say boo to going out DRINKING once a month it's fine to go out without baby for lunch or just to have some you time but girls who wanna party like they did before they got pregnant get no sympathy from me, priorities ladies! Get them straight!

I had my first child at the age of 20 and my mother in law didnt take my daughter overnight until she was 6 months old, and it was once a month. i now have 3 kids total and i am going to be 26 this year. I never went 'clubbing' because I made a choice to spread my legs and take responsibility. Granted, I am married to my 3 girl's father, but we both go out only once a month when my mother in law takes them over night on a saturday, but she brings them home early sunday, so we dont drink or club, but usually go out to dinner and relax.

I think it is ok to go out sometimes as long as it is not a habit!! I know a lot of girls my age that go out every chance they get and I think that is not cute!! I am not a clubber myself and dont plan to be one!! But I do think it is ok to go out as mothers of any age it is ok to take some time out to get some grown up time!!

I know a few moms who party at home and drink when there kids are sleeping which i think is completly wrong.. But i do believe in getting out and having drinks or going to a friends house once in awhile... My In laws takes our son everyother weekend for a sleepover! They been doing this since he was 2 months old, and when they take him me and the hubby go out for dinner and watch a movie at home sometimes its nice to have some time to yourself!

I only got like once a month if that. I go to the gym for like an hour every week. I go out with my boyfriend once a month make the rest of the time I am with my daughter. I've been out with my with my on new years and for a going away party this year. Last year I went out by myself partying 10 times all together last year. Don't go out with my daughter usually go out with friends and my daughter or my boyfriend and daughter and family and daughter.

I think we all need some mommy time but I'm not a party girl either. I never have been. I am perfectly happy going to coffee with my girlfriends or going to a nice bar or a restaurant for a few drinks with my hubby or a close friend. I don't see anything wrong with getting a sitter once or twice a week for a few hours, really whatever you need to keep you feeling sane and able to be the best mommy you can be. I would looove more night's away. We've had two just in the last month my mom has decided she's finally up to trying the over nighters. We were miserable the first night but still managed to enjoy our first date in over two years. The second time she took him we chilled at home. Still missed him but it was more comfortable. In a way it really sucks not having him at home but holy cow we needed those that first night as a couple again desperately and we needed the night lazing around at home just as badly. I took a bath!!! A real bath, by myself, with hot water and candles and no baby banging on the door crying for me to let him in! Apparently he doesn't think daddy is good enough while I'm in the tub or shower. lol

I think a lot depends to an extent on how much you actually get to see your kid. I'm a SAHM right now so I sure wouldn't mind a twice a week break (not that I even get a twice a month break! lol) My husband works 60 hour weeks tho so what little time he gets to see our son he does not want to give up just to go on a date. I can't say I really understand moms who are out so often they rarely see their kids. We haven't been lucky enough to be in a situation where I could have a sitter very often but I wish I could! What I wouldn't give to be able to take care of some chores or crafty projects without interruption or hang out with friends somewhere other than the mcdonalds play area or the park! hehe

When our son was only 5 months old, I was a SAHM. Hubby and I would bring him to my MIL & FIL the we'll watch a movie and grab a dinner.I think it depends on how attached your child is to you. Our son can sleep by himself and doesn't need to be rocked when he was still a baby.

I think that you should always take time out for yourself even if its one night a week.... After I had my son i didnt feel like going out partying at all but that is just me every one is different.... It also depend on weather your breast feeding to.. Mothers that are breast feeding shouldnt drink in my opinion... Inless you pump and dump for that night then it is fine... But i dont think you should feel guilty going out once in a while.....

I think it would be awsum to go ot at least once every 2 weeks or something like that my daughter is 1 and ahalf and i still dont get to go out much ive maybe gone out lyk 7 times since shes been born but its so hard. would love to go out at least yeah once every 2 weeks.

I know where you are coming from and although i dont go out to the club hardly ever i still think it is very important that you have out time away from your child as a young mother. I feel there is nothing wrong with it because My bestfriend havent dont really much of anything since we had are kid and they are both 3 and not even a month apart, and she is always stressed out and emotional all the time and idk who put it in her head that she is a bad mother if she goes out with her girl firends she wont even go to dinner, we dont even ask her to go to the club. But i think that if you dont have the time you need alone thats how bad things happen with young mothers and their childern. So i think it is a good idea to go out at least 3 times a month, now if you are going every weekend and every thusday like some of my friends i think that is too much, but i make it my business as a working mother, a full time college student, and a full time mother of one 3 year old and one on the way to have lunch and dinner dates with my girlfriends and my kids father...

I think a happy mommy is a happy baby i dont think Partying should be a priorty but i think its fine to also have some time to yourself so if thats what you want to do in that time its up to the person. I think as long as your baby is still taken care off and the partying isnt out of control i think its okay. I am 24 andi have 3 kids first one when i was 18 so havent reallt been a party animal but i have gone out with my first nothing out of control but had a good time. I think when you choose to have children also its time to calm down and be a good example for them too.

I think everyone has their own way of doing things. Personally, I haven't been out since I was pregnant back in January 2009. However, I am 28 years old, and I feel like I had my fun already. My kid didn't ask to be born, I know he feels best when I'm with him and I feel like my kid deserves all of me right now, me, unconditionally. It's hard, even at this age. I miss my friends and life before but the way I see it, in a few more years he'll be older and I can go get my social life back. You're still young, by the time your baby is like 4, you can still go out and have a great time and not feel bad at all. Because at that point, your kid can tell you how he or she feels about your whereabouts and you can make your decisions from there.

A couple times a month is fine if you are with your baby all the time you need a break on occasion or you will go crazy!! I was afraid to leave my little one at first but i know that if i go out every once in a while she is in good hands!! Have a little bit of free time. make sure you pump lots of milk though because if you are drinking there is a certain limit and time until you can breast feed again.

Before my children I woyuld go out and have a great time, but ever sense I had my two, I am not much into the drinking and partying thing. I do like to get out once in a while, but sometimes it is hard. If you have your own place and bills, sometimes money is tight. I like to find fun inexpensive things to do. I rather spend the time with my children and find something me, my husband and children will enjoy. Like I love to ski, Now my son is almost four and my daughter just turned 5, so it's time we teach them so we can all have an activity we enjoy together :). Once in a while I miss the being able to just jumop and go out, but very rarely

Hi. I can only imagine the struggle you must have of trying to remain your age but on the other hand being forced into a certain level of maturity now that you are a mother. Im very happy to hear that something clicked with you when you had your daughter, you realized that its not about you anymore its about the baby. but as this change happens in our brains we tend to compeletly forget about ourselves and put sooo much pressure and guilt on ourselves that we tend to do nothing for us and everything for everyone else. The botom line is if 24 hours a day 7 days a week you are living for your daughter than you deserve to have at least sometime alone. Obviously not going out getting shit-faced and bringing home different men, but you have the right to go out and dance and let loose! Just because you are a mommy doesn't mean you aren't a person! Everything is fine with moderation. Do the parents who ship the kids to daycare so they can work 40 hours a week and then on weekends hire sitters so they can have time with their friends and hubby's think twice about it? prob not, and they are the ones that should be feeling guilt. I guess, all i can say is you need to do what you have to stay happy and healthy for your baby girl, and if that means going out once a month or one night a week and having girl time or you time, than you have to do it! because stressed out and unhappy mommys make for cranky babies....but happy mommies make happy babies! do what your body is telling you, you need to do! don't let guilt and other peoples opinions get the best of you! you carried that girl in your belly for 9 months, you worked hard making her and even harder delivering her! you get out and do soemthing for you, just don't over do it! have fun!

I feel like once a month is understandable. My husband and I try and get a sitter so we can go out at least that much (it doesn't always happen that way.. one month we may not go out then the next we may go out twice). We never go clubbing, but we'll hit up a local concert/bar. I also have a bimonthly dinner/drinks with a close friend (without him) and occasionally he'll do the same (with out me). We do not "PARTY" but we will have a glass of wine/beer or two. Partying to me is just a bit ridiculous.. I know that I personally have no desire to be hungover and have all the responsibilities of parenthood the next morning.

I'll be honest, I don't even feel the urge to go out much. I'm too tired and find the clubbing scene annoying and the music usually too loud. I think I'd be a grouch on the whole, its just not my thing anymore. I prefer dinner, drinks or a movie out with my hubby which we try to do once a month. My son's a lot older but is an only child so very attached to mommy & daddy. We first went out after he was like 1 & a half!!! We do it more often now. We have baby No 2 on the way any day now, so I suppose we'll see how the routine will change. I think if you have a reliable sitter and aren't going to be a party pooper or feel guilty when you're out then go ahead and swing it. You will need some alone time or time away from the baby, absence really does make the heart grow fonder! All the best. MT.

I feel the same way you do, i just turned 21 and am pregnant with my second, my first is 18m, i used to think that i was going to regret not going out and partying but to tell you the truth,..i dont really want too...i see pics of my friends at partys or at the club and i get jealous a little but once i see my little man, i could't care less about what i'm "missing" cuz i have everything i could ever want, a wonderful son, a daughter on the way and an amazing husband!

I go out about once a month if I can be bothered. Often my partner and I get the kids babysat for the whole day, we're all excited about going out and then we end up going back to bed for the day......come the evening we cant be bothered to go to a bar or club so its a takeaway and a movie. We've become really boring lol!

My daughter is 15 months and I rarely get any breaks, though I do need them to be honest. Every mom needs a break, so if you can get 2 or 3 hours to yourself every once in awhile, do it as long as your daughter is in good hands. I don't agree with Moms going out and clubbing and drinking though. It's just how I feel. When you have a child, I feel like you need to be a lot more responsible because you have this little life depending on you. I'm kind of boring though lol....just having dinner with a friend is a fun time for me.

I take my daughter to her grandmas on the weekends because I do not do random sitters. These days thats not such a good idea anymore. But anyway I'm not really a party girl but i do like to just chill or have some me time. She's 18 months now and a handful!!! Sometimes I need a break

Vicki I totally agree with you..I would much rather spend my money on my daughter or getting something for my house instead of spendin money on alcohol or just gettin into a bar or somethin...goin out with friends just to catch up every once in a while ok fine but goin out every single weekend and is proud naw not my cup of tea

Well my son is 8 months old and I still brest feed. I dont go out and party or really go out. I have gone out once and it was on my 21st birthday and like two drinks. (of couse i had some milk pumped.) His grandma watched him for a few hours and his father picked him up. I am so not the partying type. So i really dont understand how people go out all the time to party and leave their little ones at home. Every once and a while is cool but not all the time. i hate even going to the store and not having my little man with me.

If I go out anywhere, it's on dates with my husband. My friends come over during the day on their days off and hang out all day. We don't drink or party. We watch movies and eat food! lol. Happens as often as their work allows. I'm also not into alcohol beyond marinating meats. On a rare occasion when I go out on a weekend or week night, it's with my sister to a movie and....to eat. I love food and friends more than parties. Not my thing.

I only get a sitter once a month or so, I have a 2 year old daughter and a 9 month old son....I suggest taking a break once in a while, it makes me a better mom when I get away from my babies once in a while, and when I have a sitter, I dont party really, I just go out with their dad and have a nice quiet dinner lol....

I am all for having a good time, in moderation. It doesn't have to be going to a bar or getting drunk. I enjoy going to a movie or even just for dinner. Parents need to have their time too or else we go crazy!

I am 30. However, I had my first child when I was 20. I believe every great mom, has made mistakes in her life. I don't agree with young mother's going out to the club or drinking. I feel that young moms who allow these activities to be apart of their lives, are placing theirselves into unnecessary situations. If you are a single mom out at the bar/club, it's highly unlikely you are going to find the guy of your dreams to be a suitable father for your child. If you are in a relationship out at the bar/club, you are placing yourself in a situation where other men might hit on you, or where you might be forced into a drunken confrontation, or even in a violent situation. Although, these situations don't happen everytime, they are still unnecessary, and none the less are not worth the time spent away from your child. I think it's important for young mothers to remember what it was like growing up as a child theirselves, family vacations, the fondest memories they have of their mother and father, the times that made your childhood so great. These are the memories we are setting up for our children as they are growing older. There is nothing wrong having your child spend the night at a friends / grandparents so you can have some alone time with the hubby, or go out for a dinner and a movie. However, getting a sitter just to go out and drink and shake your parts... really isn't in my high priorities of things to do without my children. My husband and I work full time, we spend time as a family, we spend time participating in activities that interest us as individuals, we spend time with friends and family. Our time away from eachother is spent at work & school. I may not agree with young mom's going out to drink and club with friends, but those are the choices I've personally chosen to make in my life and for my kids and for my family, and it works for us.

I think that it is totally fine that you dont go out often its when the baby is this young that you do bonding so it can be a motherly instinct that keeps you home later on when baby starts to get attached is when you should start to take a few hours to yourself only a few times a week and you dont always have to go to a club it is more healthy for you to be around other mothers because its harder to relate to people who dont have kids. i know this from experiance i have all friends with no kids and i had mine and its kind of like they do their own thing now. do a girls night and let daddy watch the kids get a pedicure pamper yourself for the hard work you do every day partying is only gonna make you tired when you have to wake up with baby in the morning

Well as a military mom of 2 boys, and being 21 people always think I party party party. But nope I gave birth to those babies so I take responsibility for them. My husband gives me breaks, and every so often we get a babysitter to go out together. But partying, nope don't do it. Never had the urge to. Can't stand the moms that go out ALL the time to do it. I can see every so often going out having a good time, but every weekend...thats not me. I have seen young moms do it friday and saturday and sometimes weekdays. I think its immature but thats me.

My husband and I go out every three months or so and have just a mommy daddy night...No kid..no worries..and she always stays with my mother or his so i know she's well taken care of. We only stay gone for no more than 5 or 6 hours...90 percent of the time not even that long. More like.. 3 hours. lol.. but that little window is just enough to get our sanity back. and it's nice.

i think.....that it's okay..as long as you aren't doing it Every Single Weekend. That's a bit rediculous and irresponsible. Once a month?? Yes.. Twice?? go for it.

I'm a stay at home mom and have been for almost 18 months and i'm only probably close to a year older than you...and I see moms my age..dumping their kids off with friends..boyfriends..relatives every single weekend..Plus they work....so..they absolutely have No time to spend with their kids..this is No way to live. I want to spend as much time with my daughter as possible. Because it's moms like that..that don't spend any time with their kids..that really miss out..and they might not see it now.... but it goes by quick... and you really do miss alot.

My daughter is 18 months old and we have had a baby sitter a grand total of 6 times so we could have a date night. It is important to have time for yourself and with your significant other, but in all honesty if you are responsible for another human being, you shouldn't make a habit out of partying.

I AM 23 AND MY DTR IS ALMOST 5MO. I LEFT HER WITH A SITTER TWICE EACH TIME FOR ONLY A FEW HRS. I CANT SEEM TO LEAVE HER MORE THAN THAT. BUT I AM TRYING TO GET USED TO THE IDEA OF LETTING HER GO SOMEWHERE FOR THE NIGHT SO IT WONT BE DIFFICULT FOR HER TO STAY OVER AT HER FRIENDS' HOUSES LATER AND OF COURSE HER MAMMY. (GMA) HER MAMMY IS WANTING TO TAKE HER OVER NIGHT NOW THAT SHE IS SLEEPING----BUT SHE IS WAITING FOR ME TO GET USED TO THE IDEA. IDK IF I'M AN EXTREME OR NOT (THIS IS MY FIRST CHILD) BUT THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE DONE. HOPE THIS HELPS.

My husband and I both work full time, so our 25mo old girl already spends A LOT of time with her Grandparents, Aunties and cousins! I can't remember the last time I had a babysitter so that I/we could go do something that wasn't work.. As a full time, dedicated Mommy, I shouldn't be leaving my child with someone unless it's necessary.. I would say once a month, maybe, I could ask someone to take her so my husband and I can go somewhere just the 2 of us.. it's just not a high priority for us, to go out and "party" I guess...

I'm a stay-home mommy. I don't party much, occasionally get together with friends and have drinks. But, I would say me and my boyfriend get a babysitter atleast once a month so that we can go out together and have date nights. My daughter is 17 months and we have gone out to a club one time since before I got pregnant. I think going out sometimes is a great thing, but not all the time and not always to go partying.

I tend to do more family or at home get togethers and kick backs so that I can still have my son, or take him with me. After the kids are in bed then we can hang out, drink a little play cards and have fun. I have never been into the clubs that much though.