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Dates...

Hi,

I am a little confused about how the whole pregnancy is dated and I just wanted some clarification.

I am 19 weeks pregnant now and at my 12 week scan the nurse told me I was 12 weeks and 6 days. That number of days takes me back to the 6th of April 2012. Am I right in saying that at the time I wasnt actually pregnant? That I infact conceived after that date? And am I right in assuming that I couldnt possibily have conceived at any time before that date?

So at your 12 week scan, your nurse told you you were 12 weeks and 6 days. I've heard of women having a number of ultrasounds throughout their pregnancies, and sometimes their baby measured big for their dates, and the doctor would change their due date.

My guess is that your baby just measured a little big for your dates, which could have been due to either difficulty with measuring such a tiny, moving, object, or you could have possibly conceived a couple of days earlier than what the standard "due date calendars" base their dates off of.

The way the pregnancy calculators work is they base their dates off of the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP).

For example, if your period started on May 1st, you might actually conceive on May 12th, but the pregnancy calculators base their date off of a May 14th conception date (14 days after your LMP). To complicate things even further, they ADD 2 weeks to your conception date. So, on May 28th (4 weeks after your LMP), your baby would only be 2 weeks old, but they will tell you are 4 weeks along.

Ill tell you why Im so worried... On the 30th of March my partner walked out on me. On the 1st April in anger/revenge/stupidity I went and met a friend and we ended up sort of having sex. When I say sort of, I mean it was for a minute, he didnt ejaculate and I asked him to leave due to having second thoughts. None the less it happened unprotected. I had what I think is a period a couple of weeks later. (Although Ive read about implantation bleeding). But I am fairly convinced it was a period as it was just like all the others.
My partner then returned on the 3rd of April and we resolved our differences and are now stable. We resumed having unprotected sex and in May I missed my period and did a pregnancy test showing a positive result. I went to the doctors on May 16th and they dated me as 5 weeks pregnant. So am I right in saying that with all this considered; the guy I slept with on the Ist April did not get me pregnant and my partner is indeed the father of my baby? Im so worried.... Thank you x

It is very likely that your baby belongs to your partner and not the other man you slept with. Without him ejaculating in you, and with him only being inside you for a minute, the chances that sperm would enter your body from the pre-ejaculate fluid, and be able to swim and fertilize an egg are just incredibly swim. Is it possible? Sure, it's possible, but is it probable? No, it's not probable considering that so many sperm never reach the egg due to the woman's body being incredibly hostile to sperm.

If you went to the doctor on May 16th and they dated you at 5 weeks pregnant, you can assume that you conceived 3 weeks earlier.

Now, there is some information that you could share with me that would help you in determining whether you were even fertile (or how fertile you were) on April 1st but I don't know if you would even be able to remember those dates or not.

Here's the information that would help me determine how likely your partner is of being the father of your baby (aside from the fact that from the information you've shared already, I would guess that your partner is the father of your baby).

1. What dates did you have sex with your partner during the month of March, and during the month of April. Specifically, did you have sex with him the week prior to April 1st, or when he returned on April 3rd or anytime within 7 days after this?

2. What days did your period start in January, February, March and April? If you give me these dates I can get a sense of how long your cycles are and when you were ovulating/fertile during those months.

Once I know more about these dates, I can ask more detailed questions but I'd like to take it one step at a time so I can narrow the possibilities by date first.

Thanks for your swift reply.
In answer to your first question: My partner and I will have had sex every day or every other day in March and April. I did have sex with him until the 30th of March when he left unexpectedly. When he returned I imagine we did sleep together, yes.

My period in January started on the 25th, In February it started on the 20th, In March it started on the 16th and in April it started on the 12th.

I hope this information helps you. This situation is plaguing me every day... not that I am relinquishing responsibility in any way. It is my fault. But it is driving me mad!

Pregnancy wise, I am doing very well. Exercising a lot, eating well. Haven't been too sick and am feeling pretty good. Im considering waterbirth and am going next week to view the birthing pools at the hospital. I found out that I am having a boy, so that is very exciting.

I actually just took the time to look at your dates on a calendar, and it looks like you had a period on April 12th, plus the sonogram dated you at a 6 days earlier than that, putting you at April 6th. This would mean that conception happened sometime between April 19th and April 25th.

If they go by your LMP date, your due date would be January 26th. If your due date is around January 26th, there is no way you would have been pregnant at the end of March or even the beginning of April.

Okay - so your official due date is 8 days earlier than what a typical "due date calculator" would give, according to your LMP in April 12 which would have been January 19 (I think I did my calculations wrong in the last post).

There's still no way you would have been pregnant before the middle of April according to dates.

If that doesn't put your mind at ease, then you can always do a paternity test once baby arrives which you can do at home and costs about $200 (including lab fees). You just swab some cells from the inside of your baby's cheek and send it to the lab. Easy and quick... but can be pricey.

So glad to hear that you are feeling well. I hope this will put your mind at ease... if nothing else, the fact that your friend didn't ejaculate inside you and that you had sex so often with your partner should put your mind at ease.

Im due in 9 days! Cant believe its come so quickly. I have a quick question. I have smoked a few cigarettes since I was 37 weeks.. like maybe 5 or 6. Is this going to seriously damage the babies health?
xxx

Baby's almost here - I'm sure you're getting anxious to meet your little one and see his or her face. I love the smell of a newborn.

I would encourage you not to smoke any more cigarettes until at least after the baby is born, and if you plan to breastfeed, I would not smoke during breastfeeding.

A cigarette has more than 4,000 ingredients in it other than “tobacco” and 60 of those ingredients are carcinogens which means that they are cancer causing. Just a few of these would be “arsenic” which is rat poison, “cyanide” which is a deadly poison, “acetone”, a nail polish remover and there’s an insecticide called “DDT” which has been banned in many countries and has a half life of 2-15 years (this means it stays in the soil for 2-15 years after application). That’s just a few of the 60 poisonous ingredient that you’re putting into your body and you're baby's body when you smoke.

I would encourage you to make some green smoothies to drink every day. Bananas are a great base. Then add whatever other fruit you want. I like to add frozen strawberries (or fresh) and pineapple or pineapple juice. Then add some deep green leafy vegetables. This is the part that will benefit you and your baby now, after you've smoked the cigarettes. The leafy greens will help your liver move the toxins out of your body. A lot of people like fresh spinach leaves in their smoothies and it's full of iron too, which definitely helps during your last few days of pregnancy because you want to be sure your iron levels are up going into labour.

Some people like swiss chard or Romaine Lettuce (the deep green leaves). My personal favorite is Kale. Kale may have a stronger flavor than other greens, but it is absolutely packed with calcium, chlorophyll and other micronutrients which your body needs. Be sure to wash the greens first before blending them. I always have frozen bananas on hand for my smoothies. Whenever my bananas start to get too ripe, I just peel them, put them on a tray, and pop them in the freezer (sometimes I cut them up into chunks first). Freezer for a day and then pop them into a freezer zip back. This is great for having on hand after baby arrives, too. Sometimes you just want something quick and refreshing and nutritious and it's easy and fast to make if everything is on hand.

Add water to blending consistency. You could add milk instead, or almond milk or rice milk. Whatever you like. I don't add any sweetener to mine but you can always add some honey or agave nectar if you like that. Here's a great video that shows you a mother making a green smoothie with two little girls. Fun and delicious. Kids (and babies) LOVE green smoothies and it's a great way to get vegetables into their diet.

In short, don't worry about what's already been done. But do be concerned about the health journey you're embarking upon with your new baby.

Thanks for your detailed response. I have taken your advice... although I have to say that I do NOT like Kale! hahaha... Spinach was a much better option for me.

Going back to my original issue. I still havent had the baby, making me 40 weeks and 3 days now. I am guessing that this baby is definitely my fiances as had it have been the other guys and I had conceived on April 1st, I would now be over 3 weeks over due which is very unlikely hey?