Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

As a friend’s mom once said about love, there’s a lid for every pot. There’s also a holiday for everything, but this week really takes the cake, er, nutbowl. Tomorrow kicks off a week that celebrates everything from pasta to mules to cranky co-workers. I love the absurd so I will walk you through how to spend your time this week.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 22nd
You’re in luck because you don’t have to choose between International Stuttering Awareness Day and National Nut Day. Luckily you can enjoy both these holidays at the same time. Grab your favorite nut — I’m a big fan of almonds (and keep in mind peanuts are NOT nuts, they are legumes) — and listen to some tunes by Carly Simon or Mel Tillis or watch a Marilyn Monroe movie or an episode of Project Runway starting Tim Gunn. Yep, Simon, Tillis, Monroe and Gunn are (were in Monroe’s case) famous stutterers.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23rd
It’s a showdown between National Mole Day and TV Talk Show Host Day. Now, before you start scanning your body for moles or watching videos of the animals, this day celebrates a unit of chemistry — the mole. Kinda a yawn, if you ask me. October 23rd happens to be Johnny Carson‘s birthday, and thus, TV Talk Show Host Day. I lean toward focusing on it for a couple of reasons. (A) TV is way more fun than chemistry. (B) I won my Emmy writing for a TV Talk Show — thank you David Letterman. (C) I’m a huge Barbara Walters and The View fan.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24th
You’ve got another two options for the 24th: — United Nations Day or Take Back Your Time Day. This is a draw. Both of these are great holidays. I’ll be diplomatic (pun intended) and espouse the need for the UN except in cases where its assembly blocks traffic. And, don’t we all need to take back some time and relax and chill and smell the roses. Or brunch with friends or enjoy date nights in October in New York? Both are very worthy.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25th
It’s Sourest Day. And, World Pasta Day. Sourest Day shines a spotlight on curmudgeons and people with terrible attitudes. Personally, I think we need a few of these days a year. There are a lot of grumpy people in the world. And, World Pasta Day encourages people to eat one of the yummy 600 variations of the food. One of my favorite pasta restaurants in New York is Lupa in Greenwich Village. Stop by and enjoy!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26th
There’s nothing that says holiday like a mule. Yes, the offspring of a male donkey and female horse has its own holiday. Who knew? If you don’t feel like raising a glass to mules, then feel free to Howl at the Moon because it’s also set for this date. They seem like they go hand in hand, no? Mules and howling at the moon.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27th
Is it ironic that my show returns Saturday, October 27th at 10 pm (after one week off!) on Cranky Co-Workers Day? I hope not.