How to succeed elegantly – lessons from the stylish Carine Roitfeld and others

Last weekend I was lucky to attend a very interesting and inspiring event, a conference for women called One of Many. During this amazing three day event about 200 women listened to engaging presentations on how to bring more feminine energy, ease and flow into all aspects of our daily life (and yes that includes work), and in between, we meditated, danced, visualised, laughed, cried and bonded. It is not the first time I hear about femininity, ease, flow and what being a woman really means in the modern world. Still, there was so much I learned and received from the event.

Post conference glow (after a dance workshop – that’s what women do when we get together 😉 )

I need to tell you right away that Carine Roitfeld was not present at the event, but stay with me. She comes in a little later.

One thing that became very clear from being in the room with so many women and talking to many others before and after the event is how few of us remember how to tap into what is known as feminine or yin energy. Masculine energy is what we are taught at schools, at work. It is useful and powerful but if women constantly operate from this energy, it exhausts us, and there are biological reasons for it. That’s why so many of us are tired, exhausted, burnt out. These are just some of the insights I received from the event.

All this got me thinking about business success and femininity with its ease and flow. Is it possible to have both? Or better yet is it possible to create business (or career) success while being connected to your feminine energy, pleasure and flow, and of course while remaining in balance with your masculine (we need it too, but not in excess)?

I believe it is!

Fast forward a couple of days… I was enjoying a night in by myself. Something reminded me of a film I rented on iTunes last month but never had an opportunity to watch – “Mademoiselle C”, a film about Carine Roitfeld, the former editor of French Vogue, well know fashion editor and stylist. It is a documentary about Carine launching her own magazine after leaving Vogue, an extremely stressful job that requires not only an ability to juggle many things at the same time, travel, meetings but also a great vision and passion, all of which Mademoiselle C has.

I now know that I needed to wait until after the One of Many conference to receive what I needed to receive from this film.

The fashion industry, although primarily focused on women, is far from having an image of women friendly business, although luckily this is beginning to change. Regardless of what you think about the fashion industry – I know it has its bad sides – I think many of us women could learn a lot from Carine Roitfeld about success the feminine way.

How to be successful as a woman – lessons from Carine Roitfeld

1. Balance in life is the key element of your success as a woman

There is a beautiful moment in the film, where Carine’s husband talks about her work and her success. Talking about his wife he says that she was able to succeed in her professional life the way she did (meaning remaining true to herself and her passion) because she has had a balance in life and stability in her family.

Coming back to what we learned at the conference. As women, we are very holistic beings. This means that we cannot truly enjoy one are of our life if the other areas suffer. We need balance, fulfilment and pleasure in all areas of our lives, only then can we truly thrive and do big things. Having it all is not a myth, it’s a necessity. But we can only have it all if we let others support us. We are not meant to do everything alone.

2. Remember about pleasure

The secret to having ease and flow while also being successful is doing what you enjoy, what you love. As women, we are very connected to our emotions and senses. If what we do every day does not feed us, we get disconnected from ourselves and we shut down.

Carine says in the film that her passion for her work is what drives her. She knows it is time for a change when she no longer feels this passion and excitement for her work.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we gave ourselves permission to do what we love only as long as we enjoy it? For me, this is what true success means.

3. Be kind and respectful to people

Fashion industry often has the image that is the opposite of kindness and respect to people, especially women. Throughout the film, which documents months of Carine and her team launching a magazine, while doing photo shoots, organising events, talking to people in the industry, Carine is friendly and respectful to everyone she comes in contact with. When people from the fashion world were asked what they admire about Carine, many said it was her passion and creative vision, but quite a few also said it was the way she treated people, it was her respect towards everyone she works with from a model to the person carrying equipment.

Kindness and respect begins with yourself. If you are able to love yourself, be kind to yourself and truly respect who you are, you will be able to do this easily with other people without letting anyone cross your boundaries.

4. Know your style

Being stylish and elegant is about having the courage to be who you are. Carine Roitfeld models this beautifully in the film and in her life. She knows her style and that is what makes her so alluring and powerful. She is daring but she never loses herself in trying to fit in or impress other people.

Having style begins with knowing who you are and then being that person.

Many women still think that being elegant and stylish has nothing to do with success; it’s what in your head that matters, they say. But your style is simply a visual representation of who you are and what you think about yourself. Hardly something to ignore, don’t you think? And plus, when you discover your style, it can bring you so much pleasure. And pleasure is part of feminine success.

I will end with a quote:

“Fashion is very important. It is life enhancing and, life everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well”.

– Vivienne Westwood

I would love to hear from you.

Do you believe having it all is possible? Who are the women who are modelling feminine way of being successful to you?