Welcome to my home in blogland. Here, I strive to make you laugh like never before, cry warmhearted tears, get silly, and be naughty. Together, we'll uncover sweet morsels in the light and dark. You'll leave craving chocolate. That's a given. I'm a bad influence. Oy vey, am I a bad influence! {But I do recommend fair trade and organic varieties.} Please enjoy the samples, and may you fast become addicted. You're most welcome to return.

My Story, Yours Too.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons #7-12

Ladies and gentlemen, taken directly from current internet dating ads, I now present you with reasons number 7 through 12 as to why I choose celibacy. My comments are boldfaced. This should not surprise you. Enjoy! Remember, I do this strictly for your pleasure. [Someone’s gotta have some fun around here.]REASON #7:

50-year-old manJuneau, Alaska, United States
seeking women 40-53in Idaho, United States

Can anyone explain to me why an Alaskan man, who does not mention plans to relocate, must find himself a woman in Idaho? Perhaps those Idaho gals know how to heat a guy’s igloo.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #8:

i am fun loving ,love to laugh and make jokes, honest, loyal, nice , friendly, outgoing, my date should be a nice girl who also has a great sence of humer She really would have to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #9:

These descriptions can be redundent and over-abundant As can you, sir. This wannabe writer Keep wannabe-ing, dude. is somewhat of a dreamer yeah, yeah, I got that much!, once confused by the unrealistic morphed reality of experience. Shocked no more by the power of suggestion, GRACED FREE WILL Why do you guys always bring up this Free Will stuff? You’re really into that movie with a killer whale. Huh? REINS Oh, maybe you’re into deers. FULL CONTROL TO THINK, SAY, DO, AND BE..IS TO FEEL THE TRUE KNOWING OF THE NOW! Breath & Wingspan Wait, it’s birds you’re referring to!You can’t fool me. Always here, arriving never is promise found within, showing up once again. the kept hope to parallel life to the end. LIFE UNCERTAIN garanteed by LIFE INEVITABLE No rhyme or reason needed Oh, hmm, I got it! You are a freak of nature!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #10:

Interests:WRITTINGI must admit, that does sound interesting.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #11:

loking for catslove making money. traveling the world keeping. fit the beaches of the world tanning. Do you tend to see both the world keeping and world tanning on the same trip? i like all sorts of music. want to retire on the a nice beach. enjoy family. am very carrerrminded Does this mean you’re interested in the rear-ends of cars? abd llove pets Sounds suspiciously like animal cruelty.
I urge all readers to keep their felines away from this loker!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #12:

This has got to be the most endearing headline out there:Frankly my dear! I dont give a dam!

It’s a good thing too, sweetie, being as I don’t know where I’d put a dam around here.

I love popping over to your blog for a good laugh. I am definitely looking for "catslove making money" too. My darn cats are all about spending my money. Clearly they haven't been keeping up with the times! :)

haha - what a nutter! Spelling badly on a dating site is like turning up for a date with no pants on. It's all about the presentation.. unless they're hung like Jonny Holmes, in which case, it may be in their best interest to turn up sans pants, then any prospects should run a mile.. or click Block..just incase he discovers that you exist.. (reason enough to send a chill down the spine.. or up the female equivalent of a Johnny Holmes..)