At This Rate, My Dragon Will Never Get Trained

So I recently acquired this dragon which needs a lot of work. It's not exactly house trained, and is constantly eating my goldfish and cats instead of the nice Dragon Kibbles I bought for it.

In my desperation, I've resorted to unlikely places for solutions to my dilemma. When I reached the BZP blogs, I thought I'd finally hit the jackpot. Entry after entry with tutorials on the very problem I'm having! At last, my goldfish are saved!

Except every single one of those entries have to do with some stupid movie they're all excited about.

Obviously you need to watch the movie in order to figure out how to train it. That's why we all like it so much, because it taught us how to train OUR dragons!

(And seriously, looking through BZP forums for advice? )

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1. Shoot its wing off, tangle it in ropes and let it crash land on the ground.2. Wait a day before checking if it survived.3. If it did, refuse to put it out of its misery, and let it trap itself in a small canyon because it can't fly.4. Leave it there for weeks, torturing it with minimal food supplies.5. Degrade it by grafting on a mechanical wing that requires you to be riding it like a pony for it to be able to fly, with you being in control of which direction it flies.6. ?7. You've trained your dragon!

Temperament:Phlegmatic/Sanguine, INFP, Hufflepuff... the easygoing slacker who just wants to see everyone get alongAge:Super old. Like 21 or something 23 or something?Status:Toa Lhikan Hordika's wifeyPower level:Level 26 Cereal EaterAncestry:25% German, 25% Polish, 25% Italian, 13% English, 12% Irish. I am pretty darn white.Adores:Tangled. All of the Tangled. Punzie is my homegirl <3Current goal:Not dying. So far, a complete success.Themesong:Shut Up and Dance - Walk the MoonRarely changing quote: "I spent years calling myself broken. One day I realized that humans don't get broken. They get wounded. The difference is that wounds can heal."