This is probably the funniest thing I have heard. Two lovely gay guys get on a bus regularly and one runs a beauty/hairdressers salon. He was relating to his partner this tale
" Jim's sister came in today, she is not the prettiest girl more like a Russian shot putter and wants us to do her hair, make up for her wedding, gets a picture out of her bag and says I want to look just like this. It was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman"
"What did you say to her , I mean you're not miracle workers"
"I said you do know I am not a real fairy don't you"?

This one belongs on here, since it's just arrived in my email from BYM's O.H. (Thank you, Ruth!)
There were photos of the geniuses quoted, but they wouldn't copy.

Subject: Fwd: Mensa Members or government employees

WHEN YOU FEEL STUPID, READ THIS!

You'll feel much better after this....
And then read it again; you’ll begin to think you're a Genius

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington DC
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2018 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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