Question

What will people think of my toddler's bumps and bruises?

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My 15-month-old is always falling over and getting bruises -- recently he's gotten two big bumps on his head and even a black eye. I try to keep him safe but I don't want to discourage him from exploring and playing. I'm also worried that doctors at the hospital and people who see us out in public think I'm mistreating him. What can I do?

Mom Answers

I share your concern. I have a 14 month old and she seems to bump into everything. She actually just bumped her nose last night. The way I look at it is this... if you are the parent of a toddler or were the parent then nobody is going to look at you funny, we have all been there and anyone that does look at you "funny", needs to find something better to do with their time. Babies bump, it is the way they learn and doctors also know this and they will not think that you are abusive. There are differences between abuse marks and bump marks. you are doing the right thing letting him explore, how else do they learn. I say keep doing what you can and keep him safe when you can and he will mastermoving around just fine. Also not to mention, the bumps get bigger as they grow.

I started feeling the same way about what people may think, but I was talking to a friend who is a social worker and she said dont worry...even if someone were to call child welfare on you, they are well aware of the fact that toddlers get into things and cause bumps and bruises to themselves. If you are doing what you can to keep your child safe, its perfectly ok to let them get a few bumps and bruises!

Anyone with common sense realizes that toddlers fall and bump themselves A LOT!!! I'm in the same boat and I simply do not care what people think. I'm not one of those mothers who jumps every time he falls. I wait to hear the type of cry then handle it from there. I'm sure some people think I'm horrible but my little guy is very tough. How else will they learn about the world around them?

Anyone who has had a child or met a child or seen children on TV will have enough information to understand that a 15 month old is bruised. My daughter is able to scratch her own face even hours after I have just clipped her nails. Somehow with all the guards on the sharp edges and the house baby proof she still manages to find the hardest spot in the house and land her little pink head right on it. I've decided it is her job to make me a nervous wreck and beat herself up in the process.

my 17month old son is exactly like your son. he's always climbing on (and falling off) of EVERYTHING. plus i have a nephew that actually climbed to the top bunk on our bunk beds and dived off face first(blackeye)! i was mortified!!! i thought the activeness was hereditary, but i guess its just boys being boys. as for bruises, the important people know you are not abusing/mistreating him and you do too. that should be all that matters

I have a VERY active 20 month old. He runs, climbs, falls, everything a child should do. Yes he gets bumps and bruises, and sometimes a scratch from the cat if he's bothering it, and it's ALL normal. If people out in public, look at you funny, then they don't have kids, and therefore, their opinion just doesn't matter. So don't worry about it. Kids are kids, and if they live their lives without ever getting hurt, then they will grow up with no character, and never having experienced anything fun.

Same thing happened with my son--he's climbing on furniture and falling down all the time, runs into things--it makes me crazy! I really don't think there's much you *can* do, I hate to say, beyond being as loving and careful with your child as you can be (not that you're not, but maybe crank it up a notch in public, so as to derail other folks' bad thoughts). So long as your doctor can see your concern, they probably won't be too concerned--maybe talk to him and ask if he can recommend anything--yeah, he'll chalk it up to new-parent worries, but it looks good in your file! ;-)

As an RN in the ER dept I say don't worry about it. We don't think everyone is a child abuser. As long as the child seems happy and not fearful of you and the bruises don't appear in abnormal places you're fine. My 15 month old looks the same way!

My 12 1/2 month old daughter is always falling and mis stepping and getting goose eggs and bruises on her head. Doctors understand that toddlers fall and get ouchies. People on the street can't say anything because they don't know the situation but in fact when most people see a toddler they just know that it's a new skill they are trying to master. If someone says something just tell them he's just learning his walking skills, but really they have no right to acuse you. If they do just tell them honestly, most will understand. My DD got 4 goose eggs and bruises within 2 hours total. Don't fret about it. It's a normal thing. People are just nosy if they don't have something better to do.

My duaghter get bumps and bruises all the time too-it's part of growing up. Don't worry about the doctors, they know the difference between accidental bruises and abuse. And try not to worry about what everyone else thinks-anyone with kids knows it's normal.

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