Ashley feels like a right knobhead coz all his mates fink Cheryl is well fit

Ashley Cole's very, very close friend (who’s child must have made a birthday wish that they’ll always reveal the truth like in that Jim Carrey film) says the footballer is begging Cheryl to meet with him on Tuesday.

Ashley Cole’s very, very close friend (who’s child must have made a birthday wish that they’ll always reveal the truth like in that Jim Carrey film) says the footballer is begging Cheryl to meet with him on Tuesday.

He’s currently in France – refusing to take his wedding ring off and growing one heck of a beard. We don’t really know why the beard thing is important – maybe he wasn’t allowed to grow one before, in case Cheryl got snogging burns and lost out on some sort of skin deal. That shouldn’t be a problem anymore. Not that it ever was – we just made it up then, remember?

Anyway, his friend (did we mention they’re very, very close?) said he’s feeling like a right tit: “For the first time, Ashley is aware of the seriousness of what he’s done. He knows he messed up royally.

“All the boys have been telling him he’s an idiot and that he’s blown the best thing that has ever happened to him - Cheryl. His football mates say she is the fittest woman in Britain - and he’s been a mug. Ashley is filled with remorse.

“He’s pleaded to meet Cheryl in the next three or four days for talks. He wants to state his case, and explain why he deserves another chance.

“Cheryl is in two minds. Her heart says ‘yes’ but her head says ‘no’. She is so confused.”

Meanwhile Cheryl’s back home in Surrey with her mam Joan, packing up his bags and taking down pictures like something out of a Westlife video.

And according to Cheryl’s very, very close friend, the singer has been speaking to Ashley over the phone: “They have had the odd conversation on the telephone. But she doesn’t know if she can bear to see him just yet.

“She wants to know that she will be able to hold it together when she comes face to face with him and not want to hurt him for everything he has done.

“But she’s not quite at that place just yet. She knows she will have to see him at some point, away from everyone else. But she still wants to be in control.”

So, the question is – will Cheryl be ready to c u next Tuesday, Ashley?