This is the place to keep up with all the happenings here at any given moment. This where I can keep everyone updated & informed of all that is new and news with the family. There is the random stuff generated by various sources that have appealed to me, amusing bits, and thing that sometimes tick me off. It depends on the day – it runs the gamut in content. Be prepared for a surprise everyday. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

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Thursday, August 31, 2006

RAIN DAY! Yippee!! We have had over two inch and half of rain since yesterday.

I stayed up way too late finishing an adaption of a free Hallmark desktop to one for the family - I add important family dates, change the calendar, move things around and personalize the way I would like. I usually do this because I have a widescreen monitor and the designs are much too short to cover the whole area. The one on the left is the one I did for Sean to use on his desk top. I also did one with a floral bouquet for my own desktop. Maybe the next one will be for Dean or another member of the family :)

I had a real surprise visit this morning, Walter came by to spend some time with me, since they weren't working in the field today. We went through two pots of coffee and had some quite interesting conversations regarding Matriarchal vs. Patriarchal societies. The development of the Roman empire, the expansion of the population center outwards. Early Native American trading systems and their agricultural abilities. We even went into the family genealogy, which he hardly ever wants to discuss. But this time it was more of a putting it into a historical perspective. Then there were many, many, more topics. A real "intellectual" event.

While Walt was here I enlisted him as a tripod for the binoculars and captured a squirrel sitting in the feeder. He was really enthusiasic about getting at the food. (The squirrel not Walter.) I had several others but they blurred - it isn't easy to take photos through a binocular lens without it actually being firmly attached to the camera. Plus my makeshift tripod, envision Walter here, wasn't as still as I tried to make him be. He did a great job even though it was truly tough stuff.

Sean has been spending the time attacking his opponents in the online game he is playing. I believe that he has achieved a level 57 on Asheron's Call in just two days. So he has been intently working on the characters progress. It has been diligent progress. He's shooting for level 75 today and trying to make it to level 100 before school starts.

VDOT came through the neighborhood inspecting the "slurry job" on our streets and they said that the company that did the job will be back to correct the mess. Amen! They said that they will be back out soon - so that most likely means after this spell of rain. I'm not complaining, we really, really need all of it that we can get for now. It has been so dry here.

Mom passed along to me that Aunt Barbara Jean's neighbor passed away. They hadn't seen her in a few days and since she lives alone. They checked with her lawn guy and after "peeping" into the house they gave the police a call. Turns out that the woman had passed away. When the police questioned them about it, they said they had just noticed that she hadn't left the house in several days and that her newspapers were piling up on the porch. At least they were being good neighbors and watching out for one another. Who knows how long she would have been in there if they hadn't tried to check on her?

We all headed out this evening to pay the dreaded school fees. Yuck! On the bright side he did get a copy of his schedule for the coming year. The school system is starting to use a modified block scheduling system for the middle school. Basically he will attend the "core classes" of Math, English & Science/Social Studies every day, but alternate on an odd even basis his P.E. class and elective. Another new wrinkle in the schedule Science/Social Studies will be completed in one semester. So if they are assigned Science in the first semester then the second semester will be social studies. Sean is taking Speech & Drama as his first semester elective and Work/Family Studies for second semester. It will be a cool year.

Newsletter Gleanings

The early warning signs that you are suffering from burnout:

chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Good morning everyone. We had a nice rain last night and it was great to get some rain on the parched ground. The plants have perked up - no matter how much you water it isn't as helpful as rain. We are keeping an eye on Tropical Storm Ernesto to see how much it is going to mess with weekend plans. I'm sure that we will be getting lots of rain, just how much is the question.

L.G. arrived splitting the minute this morning only to have a few surprises in her usual "Granny Bag". Most of the items were for Sean, but she did have this absolutely hilarious cartoon strip for us, it is true the weather here has been that muggy & hot.

PICKLES * brian craneWe had a great time out this morning running errands with L.G. We were looking for a little bit of everything and had the spectaular luck of find all but two items at K-Mart of all places. We stopped our shopping for a delicious lunch at T.G.I. Fridays; We both thought that Sean was going to pop eating all his food. We were able to time our stop there just before the lunch rush and enjoy a very peaceful meal. Our final two stops were at a birding supply center where we found a very attractive and sturdy rain gauge that will stand up to years of use, and is easy to empty. The final stop was for mini-blinds. Ouch...L.G. is waiting for them to call her with the estimate for the blinds and installation. All missions accomplished. Yippee!

Sean now has the job to put together a nightstand for L.G. That shouldn't take him too long. But I don't believe that he will get right on that this afternoon, since he ate so much for lunch, he may be prone to falling asleep. Maybe a nap would be a great thing for him.

I put out a feeder for the squirrels this afternoon, using a planter saucer screwed into the tree stump near the birdfeeder it gets the squirrel food off the ground and also provides a landing spot for those birds that enjoy corn and sunflower seeds also.

The feeder hasn't been up an hour yet and I've already seen one squirrel sitting in it have a feast. It won't take long before the rest of them find it and it will begin to look like a circus act out there. Next year more flowers for the fence line there and the besides providing color it will provide additional seed for the birds.

Tweat got outside for short time this afternoon, and before I knew it there were several types of small birds hanging out on the deck rails and in the birch tree nearest the deck. It seems that Tweat his her groupies that hang out with her when she is outside. Amazing.

Now for a new message from the email bag..

I am sorry but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough. No where did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close. Sorry if this offends anyone but this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP ---- please pass this along~I am not against immigration -- just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and GOD BLESS AMERICA!

PART OF THE PROBLEM

Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of Choice??????

Think about it!

All we have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that. This says it all! This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!

IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However...... the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct! " crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereigntyand our national identity.

As Americans.....we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, African, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women.......on Christian principles............. founded this nation..... and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home.........because God is part of our culture.

If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so! But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and griping.......about our flag......our pledge......our national motto.......or our way of life...I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other Great American Freedom.... THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I had a really nice surprise email this morning from cousin Lisa in Michigan. It was great hearing from her and nice to know that she's been keeping up with us via the blog. So here's a big shout out to her. Glad to hear from you and keep watching for the silliness that goes on around here and with the rest of the clan.

We are off to have swim lessons with the little guys this morning at Walter's house. It will be our end of the summer blow out - in addition to Sam & Abby, Andrew & Cassie will be us for the last swim of the summer. It will be nice.

We arrived for swimming lessons only to find out that the pool had been trashed overnight and vandals had thrown multiple chairs into the pool. We checked with the maintenance fellows and found that it was not going to be opened today. They vandals had also bent one of the pipes going into the pool. The vandals even hit the side of Walt's building.

So...once Elda and the kids arrived I was so disappointed to have to tell Abby that she wouldn't be able to swim. She came in talking about riding on the ring. She was definitely prepared. The rest of the clan scattered and went their way, while Sean & I stayed put and fixed ourselves some lunch.

After lunch I took Sean up to the front pool for a final swim of the summer - he had a really good time. There were about five other guys at the pool while we were there so they ended up playing "Sharks & Minnows" and diving into the pool. They stayed at it for almost a whole hour.

After spending the time at the pool we then headed off for eye exams. Good news, no changes in his vision and he can still wear his glasses from last year.

The paving company had "paved" our side of the street this morning just before we left so we were staying away until it dried. On the return trip, I was not impressed with the condition of the roads. They look horrible. A complete mess. On our cul-de-sac there are several gouges in the street and definite tire treads where something heavy has turned around.

From the email "bag":

How to Install a Home Security System

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots size 14 - 16. (Note-use Walters).

Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine and several NRA magazines.

Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey, Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:

I went to the gun shop for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Sean awoke this with a migraine. He's trying to sleep it off this morning. I hope will be able to get it all under control. It will make him feel much better when that happens. The headache went skewed to the more sever side, so we ended up at the doctors office to get some prescription meds to take care of it. While we were there is began showing major departure of the symptoms. He is up and beginning to move around. Since we've been back home he's feeling much better and it appears that the headache is gone for now.

As Sean & I were on the way to his doctor's appointment, we passed Danielle and family on their way out shopping. We just honked and waved. It was good to see that they were out and about.

While waiting around at the doctors office, I found this really interesting recipe for Sicilian Sweet & Sour Chicken that I'm going to give a try sometime soon.

Add onion and garlic to skillet. Cook over low heat 2 minutes or until onion is almost tender. Add remaining 1/2 tsp. each salt and pepper, the raisins,wine and remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes until slightly thickened.

The paving company is out to pave the streets of the neighborhood, the letter that they sent to us said they would be working on the 29th, 30th & 31st. I guess they decided to get a jumpstart on the work. They have already come down the cul-de-sac sweeping the street and puttign down a covering over the manholes to protect them from the surfacing stuff that they are going to put down. Once they get the stuff down on the street we have a three hour window in which we will not be able to drive on the roadway. I hope that they get it done soon so that when everyone comes home from work this evening it won't be a huge mess.

When they first arrived, it looked they were going to take a nap break in the driveway. They did get the cul-de-sac done, but it looks yucky...then they finished the other side of the road leading in. However, the mess that they left on our side of the street was just nasty looking. Perhaps if they had taken that nap they would have done a neater job. They have come back and took away the cones for the night, but the new coating is not smooth at all and it has a "crusty" look to it. Maybe it'll look better after some traffic has driven over it for a few weeks. I know that the neighborhood kids aren't going to be thrilled - it is not a suitable surface for skateboarding or rollerblading.

Thoughts for the Day:

"The real test of friendship is: can you do literally nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple." Eugene Kennedy

Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to results. T Harv Eker

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sunday school was fantastic this morning. I truly enjoyed Dr. See's presentation, and am looking forward to the remainder of the study. It will be a greatly interesting and highly educational. I really enjoyed having Alice join me in class. It will give us something else to talk about during the week.

Quote of the Day: "Worry and guilt are like a rocking chair, they give you something to do but you don't get anywhere."

The boys went out for a hike this afternoon at Pocohontas. They had an enjoyable time. They followed one of the trails off Newbys Bridge.

Update on Miss Faith: Danielle posted on their blog this afternoon, "Faith is now able to say Dada. And she is also saying Mama on rare occasions!!!" Way to go Faith. She is growing up so much.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Up early for a Saturday morning, but what do you do when your body says time to rise & shine. The coffee is making and I am just about ready to take Miss Tweat outside and enjoy the morning for short while before the day gets under way. Before I stepped out the back door, I was treated to a humming bird visiting the petunias which sit on the deck rail, she only stopped at three flowers that I could tell, but she was in and out of the like lightening.

While sitting back and enjoying the first cup of coffee of the morning I could make out the sound of a train (now not living near a track, I know it wasn't, but it sure sounded like one) which reminded me so much of visiting with Mamaw Stapleton when she lived in Virginia Lee when I was little. It is amazing how much an odd sound can conjure up old memories.

I went out to get the Camry washed and vacuumed out the interior. When I got home I finished up cleaning the interior, armorall, frebreze, and cleaned the windows too.

I took several pictures of a dragonfly at the pool yesterday. I fiddled with these images in PhotoShop and created a couple of collages. It was fun to put it together and create something new from just one photograph. The dragonfly below appears to be doing his aerobic exercises on the plants next to the pool. The closer I got to him, the more he raised up his tail. I would move away and he would settle back down. Thus he got a real workout as I was attempting to get some good close up pictures. My teacher & sister, Alice, gave me the nod of approval - she said I was doing a good job. Which is great coming from the resident family "expert".

Everyone around here is thinking about taking a nap this afternoon so that we can all stay up late this evening to see Mars. The telescope is repaired and available to use. I'm even going to try to take a photo of it through the telescope. I'll post it here on Sunday if I manage to get a shot. If not I'll still post my reactions to the phenomena.

I popped out to visit with Alice this afternoon for a really nice visit. We did some cleaning and putting away somethings that needed to be stowed out of Master Terry's reach. We did get the kitchen floor cleared as well as the counters. Terry was such a sweetie while I was there, and he even went to sleep for me while I was holding his hand. He was precious laying on the sofa all covered up and comfy.

Well, it is getting late, about 9:30 p.m. now, and we are watching for the moon to rise to fix the position of Mars in the sky. I don't believe that Mars is going to be as large as anticipated, but most likely it will be though a telescope. The is going to be keeping still long enough to get the image of Mars focused in, since the camera is not on a tripod. Here is crossing my fingers. Well, while trying to find out what time moonrise was I found out the truth about the whole Mars thing -- It is a Hoax. I found the fact at FloridaStars.org We all should have known better, I usually check this stuff out but this one slipped by me until this evening. Sorry to anyone who was looking.

I am really looking forward to Sunday School class tomorrow. We are beginning a study of Christianity & the Occult, it promises to be quite interesting. Dr. See of Atlantic Bible College is going to be instructing the class. I am guessing that the course will at least run through December or a little longer, depending on how fast we cover the material. It may even wind up that we will be able to receive a (1) college credit for going through the class, which would be neat.

From My E-mail:

To A Keeper

One day someone's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away never to return before we can say goodbye, say "I love you!"

So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . . and care for it and fix it when it's broken . . . and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage and old cars . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with; or a coworker we worked with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, We keep them close!

Friday, August 25, 2006

We are heading out this morning to have swim lessons. I am hoping that Miss Abby will build on the progress that we made last week.

SWIMMING LESSONS

Abby did a fantastic job today. She held onto a lifesaver and kicked herself around the entire pool. She was even blowing water out of her mouth when she had the need. She swam all around the whole pool - even into the 8-foot area. She was so proud of herself. Meanwhile...

Sean and Sam were having a good time working on getting him use to the water. Sean even had him jumping into the pool alone. A major step forward. As you can see by the pictures he was enjoying himself. Sean even gave him a ride on his shoulders to make a 6-foot tall Sam.

These are the new photos that Danielle gave me. Miss Faith is so cute in her dedication dress, and her casual poses are darling.

Danielle & her family are heading out to West Virginia for at least the weekend. Miss Faith will be meeting her great-grandparents there for the first time. She'll just win them the minute that she smiles and "talks" with them. She & her mommy will also be meeting some other relatives - Good luck girls. You'll do fantastic.

Thought for the Day:"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." - Mark Twain

Received this from a cousin.

It seems those of us from the mountains are no longer "Hillbillies". Political Correctness is now prevailing in America. Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinians, Virginians and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as

**APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.**

Thank you! Now if you'll excuse me, I got possums to fry...

Sean is headed out this evening to go skating. This is becoming almost his Friday night ritual. He has such a good time, rolling around, and around for hours. I guess that I'll head out and pick him up after skating this evening. Then it will be time for all of us to hit the hay.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Miss Cassie is coming over again this morning to have another "Girls Day". We are going to have fun. We are going to head over to the pool for some swimming, and it does seem that the weather is going to cooperates. When we get back we'll put a pizza in the oven for lunch. Our afternoon plans are to do the really "girlie things" like painting fingernails and curling hair.

Cassie & Sean hung out in the backyard this morning and "worked" on a swing, they got up a board to hold the swing. However, that is about all they got done. This morning Sean & Cassie have been hitting the watermelon, I do believe that they ate almost an entire one before we left for the pool.

The kids had a good time at the pool, lots of swimming, cannon balls, and various other things. A little girl came down to the pool so that she had someone to play with for awhile. I was able to take a few pictures of some of the flowers around the pool edge. I tried to get one of a yellow butterfly, but didn't get the camera out fast enough. Perhaps next time I will be a little quicker on the draw.

We didn't get out of the pool until almost 1:00 p.m. So we dropped by Little Ceasars to pick up a couple of carryout pizzas for lunch.

We watched a couple of movies this afternoon and worked on Cassie's nails - yellow & green with a puppy paw print and a bit of grass. They took some time to get done. Cassie then worked on painting a couple of paintings, one for her mom and one for me. She did a nice job.

I let Carla out for a short while this afternoon and all of sudden Sean & Cassie were just about to pop with giggling. Carla was at the back door wrapped in one of the beach towels I had hung on the rail to dry. How she got it off the rail and around I'll never know, but she sure looked like she had just come back from the pool.

Walter called this evening to let us know about the fun that he was having with his boys. He has let them out of the cage to fly around on purpose. He has found that they only stay about 6-feet away from the cage. They have enjoyed listening to The Eagles, much more than AC/DC. Walter was able to get Butch to climb up onto his finger and hop back into the cage. An amazing improvement. As you can see from Walt's pictures the boys really like the stero - I think they were scoping out the apartment looking for girl birds, which were nowhere to be found. I think that he has been having a great time with them now that they are beginning to adjust to him and their new home. What will be their next big adventure.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

This morning I am heading over to visit with the granddaughter, Miss Faith. I know that we will have a grand time as always.

Our neighbors friend is heading home today from Liberia with her new daughter, Naomi Faith. We have had them in our prayers and are happy that they are all safe and in good health. Have a safe flight back to the United States and Congratulations on your newest addition to their family.

Danielle had a surprise for me two framed photos of Faith, one of her standing in her crocheted dress made by Great-Momaw; the second of her laying on her tummy wearing an orange shirt and little blue jean skirt. Absolutely adorable.

I spent the morning with Miss Faith she was in great spirits and we had a fabulous time together. She was talking up a storm and she was just telling me all kinds of things.

I was able to get some great photos of Miss Faith when I first arrived. She was sitting up alone so well and talking to me. I just could not resist.

She and I had so much fun. I had her standing up and trying to walk around a few steps. She was so cute. I told her that she was a "real sweetie" and she gowled. Some of the noises that she is making sound so much like early words. I could have sworn I heard her trying to say "hey".

I even had the opportunity to once again put her to sleep. She just settled in on my shoulder and gently went off to sleep. As I transferred her into her bed she didn't even bat an eye, she was sleeping so soundly. I hope that after I left she took a good long nap for her mommy.

Walter ran by for a quick visit this evening looking for some old stero equipment that he thought that we might have. No such luck - we got rid of that stuff a long time ago. He did however, find the piece that he wanted at K-Mart. He got the stero home and hooked up and found out that his birds do not like to listen to AC/DC and flew the coup as soon as he opened their cage door. This led to birds flying around the apartment and generally getting into trouble. Walter took the opportunity to clean their cage while they were out, but received some stares from the boys as if to say, "Where did our house go?" He was able to get Sundance into the cage without trouble, as he would hop onto his finger, but Butch was another story. He was hanging out on the lampshade until he decided that he was hungry and flew back to the cage for dinner allowing the door to be shut quickly behind him. What an exciting time!

The son-in-law, heads off back to school this evening. I wish him well in all of his classes and safe travels between home and school.

NEWSLETTER GLEANINGS:

Studies have shown that the music of Mozart has a powerful effect on the intellectual and creative development of children to:

For best results, turn down the bass and position the speakers at least six feet from the listeners. Adjust the balance to accommodate for right-side listening if possible. (in a car or at home)

Listening to more than 25 minutes of music at a time reduces the power of this effect.

Play the music after a class lecture, or when instruction and discussion is completed.

Use the music when students are expected to do any kind of creating such as; research, note taking, creative writing, answering tests, art projects.

Use the music when students are expected to memorize or problem solve.

At the beginning of a class period, using the music for 4 to 5 minutes allows students to relax and focus, helping with the transition into the current subject.

Particular sounds, tones and rhythms, especially the music of Mozart, Gregorian chant, and some jazz, New Age, Latin, pop and even rock music can strengthen the mind, unlock the creative spirit, and miraculously, even heal the body.

The Census Taker

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two; And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six; And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're twenty-four ..."

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"

The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin."

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's a wonderful morning to wake up to here. 66-degrees with dew on the grass, I can feel a nip of Fall in the air. Now this afternoon will probably be back to Summer, but for now time to breathe in the coolness of the morning.

Carla is having her ususal itchy spell, it's either a flea or allergy to the grass, so she's going on benadryl for a while. That ususally helps to releave the itching for her. It's just so odd to give her meds, but she does love the peanut butter chaser.

Sean and I went out for a few errands this afternoon. We had lunch out - Sean got a double cheeseburger meal and I pick up some sushi, which Sean promptly snatched several pieces of. We were able to all our errands done and back home by 1 p.m. Sean spent the afternoon playing Asheron's Call and I worked on putting the deck back together.

Alice & I went out this evening for some sister time. Hot chocolate and coffee mixed with us produced some pretty neat ideas for presentation folders. It was a great time bouncing ideas off one another. Next thing I know she'll have a mock up done and ready...probably before she goes to bed tonight, if she is especially excited. Go Sis!

From the inbox:

Alice sent me an email with this amazing bridge! On a personal note, I agree with the email author there isn't enough money printed to get me to travel on something like this - okay maybe there is as long as I'm sedated and blindfolded. The original size of this image is 1328px x 681px. Some of you may have to scroll the screen to see the image below if you click on it to see it larger (the image is not as large as the original).

The Millau viaduct is part of the new E11 expressway connecting Paris and Barcelona and features the highest bridge piers ever constructed. The tallest is 240 meters high {262.47 yards-over 2 1/2 football fields} and the overall height will be an impressive 336 meters {367.45 yards-over 3 1/2 football fields}, making this the highest bridge in the world. Be sure to maximize your screen for this. They haven't printed enough money to pay me to drive across this bridge!! This bridge is located in Southern France and is the highest bridge in the world.

Washington Biological Survey

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."

Monday, August 21, 2006

We've got an overcast morning starting out the day, but on the brighter side it is less humid. It is a good day to crawl back into bed and get a few hours extra sleep. According to the weather report there is a slim possibility that we have a thunderstorm for noon. I'm waiting....

Our plan for the day is to do laundry, oh what fun, and clean up the house from the weekend. Just a normal Monday morning. Wow, Tweat just woke up and is apparently has a whole lot to say first thing this morning. Tweat just fell off her perch and immediately Carla comes in from the living room to make sure that I'm not paying any attention to the bird. Once she sees that I'm not, Carla is happy and she headed back to the living room to sleep some more. It is a hoot.

While talking on the phone with Alice this morning, on her drive into work. Traffic on I-95 North slowed dramatically down to speeds no greater than 40 mph for no apparent cause. As she approached what possibly could have been an accident scene, the cause was found. A Virginia State Trooper had gotten out of his cruiser and was standing on the shoulder of the road waving to individual motorist as they passed him. Traffic then was resuming the normal breakneck speeds to which they accustom. The Virginia State Police now has a new weapon in its arsenal to fight speed traffic. Just stick a Trooper on the side the side of road to wave merrily to passing motorist. This is truly a case of rubbernecking run amuck.

I've gotten a second topcoat on the table top this morning, and have gotten third and final topcoat on. After that dries, I'll need to flip the top over and seal the underside also, to prevent moisture damage from the bottom. I was be able to do that before 1:00p this afternoon, the lack of humidity and the sunshine have dried all those coats in record time. Now to let the bottom dry and then I'll flip it back over to let it all cure for a few more hours before bringing it into the house. I have it propped up on the deck chairs, using them as saw horses, so that the air circulates all around.

Sean saw this vulture flying around the backyard, and I was able to capture him as he landed on the neighbor's dead tree behind our house. It was swooping between the houses and at one point even tried to land on the deck umbrella. After I got the photo it flew off towards the back of the neighborhood and didn't return.

Walter came by on his way to class this evening for dinner and to help put together the deck table. I'm going to have to work on the top a little bit more, due to installation of the table pieces back together. Touch ups...but that is normal. I'll head up to Home Depot for a very small can of urethane to finish off the top and see if I can find some black caulk to seal the edge underneath.

Walter headed out after finishing off the table to begin his Fall classes this evening. His first class is US History tonight, followed by Pre-calculus on Tuesday and Thursday. Good Luck Walt!

We've signed Dean up to take two classes this Fall; Writing for Business and System Anlysis & Development. A couple of meaty classes. He'll be going to classes on Wednesday & Thursdays.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I made it out this morning to church and choir practice. I sang with the choir this morning. It was nice to get back into the normal swing of things. Danielle & family were not at church this morning, it seems that Danielle is feeling under the weather.

I spoke with Walter this afternoon, he had a great time at the concert he attended yesterday. The rest of the family over for a short visit this afternoon with LG. We did a few jobs for her as well as enjoy the great company and conversation.

The boys went out this afternoon and rented several movies for our viewing pleasure:

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector - really odd and truly funny.

Final Fantasy VII - I found this to be really odd and it was a cartoon.

The Da Vinci Treasure - it had nothing to do with the Di Vinci Code, it was about a treasure. It had a National Treasure feel.

The Ringer - better than I thought it would be.

I got back into the swing of choir practice this evening. We are beginning to go over the music for the Christmas program. It will be a great program.

E-mail Strikes Again -

This Will Give You Goose bumps...

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile they said had run the light that caused the six-car pileup on 109 that night. When broken bodies lay about and blood was everywhere, the sirens screamed out eulogies, for death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car, was heard above the noise; her plaintive plea near split the air: "Oh, God, please spare my boys!" She fought to loose her pinned hands; She struggled to get free, but mangled metal held her fast in grim captivity. Her frightened eyes then focused on where the back seat once had been, but all she saw was broken glass and two children's seats crushed in. Her twins were nowhere to be seen; She did not hear them cry, and then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "Oh, God, don't let them die!"

Then firemen came and cut her loose, but when they searched the back, they found therein no little boys, but the seat belts were intact. They thought the woman had gone mad and was traveling alone, but when they turned to question her, they discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild and screaming above the noise in beseeching supplication, "Please help me find my boys! They're four years old and wear blue shirts; Their jeans are blue to match." One cop spoke up, "They're in my car, and they don't have a scratch. They said their daddy put them there and gave them each a cone, then told them both to wait for Mom to come and take them home. I've searched the area high and low, but I can't find their dad. He must have fled the scene, I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said, "While wiping at a tear, he could not flee the scene, you see, for he's been dead a year." The cop just looked confused and asked, "Now, how can that be true?"

The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came and left a kiss for you. He told us not to worry and that you would be all right, and then he put us in this car with the pretty, flashing light. We wanted him to stay with us, because we miss him so, but Mommy, he just hugged us tight and said he had to go. He said someday we'd understand and told us not to fuss, and he said to tell you, Mommy, He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt that what they spoke was true, for she recalled their dad's last words, " I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain the twisted, mangled car, and how the three of them escaped without a single scar. But on the cop's report was scribed, In print so very fine, "An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109."

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Dad got me up early this morning, he called to chat..oops, it's Saturday. No problem it was time to get up anyway.

We had a full day today. Dean mowed the yard and cut up the rest of the tree that the boys fell. Walt brought Sean home around 10 a.m., and checked in with his concert buddy and decided to hang around till around 1:00 p.m. While he was here I had him take apart the deck table - he put it together a long time ago, so he was the logical choice to take it apart. Dad came over and brought the jigsaw to finish off the table top edges for me. It was great the table top fits into the frame perfectly. He also put cut the hole in the center for the umbrella.

Walt headed out to Country Fest and an evening of music. I hope that he had a great time. I know he was looking forward to seeing Shooter Jennings and Montgomery Gentry.

I finished up the design painting today and am going to paint the final finish coats on the top tomorrow after church. It's going to take two or three coats of varnish to finish it up. I am planning on having the table back together by Wednesday.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Well, one of the little fishies decided to swim away during the night. I hope that he has gone on to a better place. So far only one has gone missing and hopefully the others will remain where they are. I'll just have to get another one to take its place. UPDATE! at 1:00 p - another of the fish has escaped, and the third one looks like he is trying to make the break too. Hmm...I need more fish, plus overnight drying time.

That just means that I need to find a better way to have them "stay put". I may have to breakdown and go into Ben Franklin in search of a better topcoat/sealant.

On a positive note, the three little guys in the upstairs bath are all hanging out just fine and dandy. UPDATE: 9 p.m. - Another fish is looking to escape, this time from upstairs bathroom. I definitely need more fish and resin to seal them. That should fix the problem. Hopefully! Otherwise, I'll just have to give up on having fish in the toliet bowls. {Pout, pout}

While outside on the deck with my morning coffee, I tried and experiment using Dean's binoculars and my camera. By holding the lens of the camera up to viewing end of the binoculars I was able to get this photo of a squirrel out at our bird feeder. Now normally if I try to take something like this it is very small and very grainy. I do believe that it turned out nicely - now it was the best of about 15 shots. So take a lot and you may get one that is good.

In other news, it is the dreaded grocery shopping day. Such extreme fun or should I say sport. Racing through the aisles attempting to get out of the store with everything that we need and still not break the bank.

Well...it turned out to be an exciting time at the grocery store. Sean helped out a disabled gentleman in the store. It turns out that for his help the man gave him two packages of unopened "mint" condition 16-year old baseball cards. It was such an unexpected gesture. Of course, we both were shocked! Sean thanked him profusely.

He could hardly wait until he could open up the packages to see what was inside, but he was able to hold off until we got into the car to see what was inside. One of the packages had a Sammy Sosa card. There are a bunch of other cards, but none that I recognized immediately. Who knows? We were speaking with Beth, an acquaintance of mine, who informed Sean that her brother paid for his college education with baseball cards. This set Sean's mine to racing and us back home almost as quickly as we had arrived. He wanted to put his cards away for the future.

This afternoon's swimming lessons with Elda & the kids, didn't quite go as planned, but Abby did make some progress. We used the kiddie pool and she was much more comfortable getting into the water. She even laid back in the water and kicked water at Sam. Following the lessons, I left Sean to spend the night with Walter. Big Time Fun. I can see Playstation competitions going on all the way to bedtime.

Exciting news! I purchased gas this evening for $2.69 a gallon at Wawa's over near Walter's house. What was more amazing is that when I went into the apartments it was $2.71, so the price dropped $0.02, while we were swimming. Another great thing is I found out my gas mileage in the Camry is now 21.5 mpg. Yippee! It sure beats the 13-14 mpg that the van was getting.

Dean & I went out to dinner at Applebee's for dinner. They had a really nice three-course meal for under $10. I thought it was great - a salad, beef & chicken enchiladas, plus key lime pie for dessert. Yum!

NEWSLETTER GLEANINGS:

Thought for the Day:"Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble." Arabic parable

This one reminded me a whole lot of the game of "gossip" that we played back when I was in school that demonstrated just how a simple thing can change so dramatically.

Good Communication

MEMO From: Headquarters To: General ManagersNext Thursday at 10:30 Halleys Comet will appear over this area. This is an event which occurs only once every 75 years. Notify all directors and have them arrange for all employees to assemble on the Company lawn and inform them of the occurrence of this phenomenon. If it rains, cancel the dayÂs observation and assemble in the auditorium to see a film about the comet.MEMO From: General Manager To: ManagersBy order of the Executive Vice President, next Thursday at 10:30 , Halleys Comet will appear over the Company lawn. If it rains, cancel the days work and report to the auditorium with all employees where we will show films: a phenomenal event which occurs every 75 years.MEMO From: Manager To: All Department ChiefsBy order of the phenomenal Vice President, at 10:30 next Thursday, Halleys Comet will appear in the auditorium. In case of rain over the Company lawn, the Executive Vice President will give another order, something which occurs only every 75 years.MEMO From: Department Chief To: Section ChiefsNext Thursday at 10:30 the Executive Vice President will appear in the auditorium with Halleys Comet, something which occurs every 75 years. If it rains, the Executive Vice President will cancel the comet and order us all out to our phenomenal Company lawn.MEMO From: Section Chief To: AllWhen it rains next Thursday at 10:30 over the Company lawn, the phenomenal 75 year old Executive Vice President will cancel all work and appear before all employees in the auditorium accompanied by Bill Halley and his Comets. - Author Unknown

Thursday, August 17, 2006

This morning I've run Tweat out to the tree in the backyard - she's enjoying the nice change of weather, of course, Carla is at the watch.

Alice dropped by this morning on her way to work to leave me some sealant so that I could put my "goldfish" in the toilet bowl. I've been wanting to do this ever since we moved into our house. I've thought that they would add a humorous touch to the "potty", and just to be cute I also put a set of these little fishies into the bowl of the shared upstairs bath. I painted these a number of years ago and only now have had the proper of method of securing them in the bowl. Great fun! I bet the little kids will really be confused. I can only imagine what an unsuspecting guest will think.

If you click on the picture it will give you a close up view of the goldfish swimming in the bowl.

The fireman & his assistant arrived this morning - no we didn't have a fire! Thank goodness, they are off duty running their own business. They are here to powerwash the house. Louise has had them all to herself at her house a few times, now it's our turn. They started working on the house at 9 a.m. and have been at it ever since - they put in a total of four hours on the house and deck. Nothing like watching a couple of men get dirty.

While they were working on the house, Mom dropped by for a visit. She helped out getting the photos of the goldfish. A bit later she and Sean headed off to Costco, Mom to pick up some supplies while Sean wanted to go and snack throughout the store. They brought back lunch with them, seafood subs from Subway. The subs weren't bad at all. Definitely different, but in a good way.

We received the new school calendar in the mail today and I finally got it all transfered over to the family calendar. That puts us one step closer to the start of school. Sean received his homeroom assignment a couple of days ago, so he has been comparing with a few other people to see if they are in the same room.

I sent Alice one of the photos of the fishies that had the general shape of a lifesaver and was beginning to look like a float/candy and just look what she has done with it.

Who would have ever thought that my bowl design would translate into such other fun ideas. Who knows what we'll come up with next.

Sean got out with the neighbors and they played a couple of games of kickballs. He got onto base and then scored a run.

He smirked at me as he was headed back out into the field. He was giving me a hard time about taking pictures. He was hiding his face most of the time.

I did get a shot of him on second and third. He was leaning on third base which was Clint's car.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

We started the morning with laundry and have been working on various projects through out the day. I sort of became really involved in working on the new table top today. I've gotten two coats of acrylic down as the foundation color, and am in the process of transferring the center design onto the table top.

Tweat hung outside for a good portion of the day - I hung her cage up by a hook in the mimosia tree next to the driveway. As we checked out on her we noticed that several of the other smaller birds were sitting in the tree near her cage and around the bottom of the tree where she was hanging out. Carla had a wild time, she kept running back and forth between the house and the tree. Eventually she settled down and laid down under the tree, under her cage. Absolutely amazingly amusing.

I finished the center of the table design - next in the process is to router out the edges of the design to give it the inlaid look.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

This morning Sean & I set out to help out with swimming lessons, but they were cancelled due to illness. We made the best of it anyway and just went swimming. We had a great time at the pool even though we were the only ones there. We went to Wal-Mart for some lunch afterwards, so Sean could get his chicken.

This afternoon I worked on the new table top. I sanded it and have put two coats of Kilz over the sealer so that I can paint on it with the acrylic paints. I'll probably get started on the foundational painting this evening after dinner.

Sean is still have tremendous fun eating watermelon, for breakfast and lunch. He'll most likely have some after supper. Sean got a black light this afternoon and has been entertaining himself by running around the house and seeing what glows - one of the fibers in the berber carpet really shines bright. He even found a couple of my shirts that glow quite oddly.

Hallelujah! We have finally gotten some rain. We have needed it so greatly. Everything is beginning to look like it is perking up just from the small amount we have received so far this evening. It can keep this up for the rest of the night and that would just be fantastic.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Sean & I have been out gathering together supplies to repair the outdoor table. We have everything necessary to do the table and to get started on the chairs. The weather is so nice and inviting, I'm pretty sure that we are going to get a couple of things accomplished outside this afternoon.

I was able to get the first couple of base coats on the new table top; Sean & I began working on cleaning up the torn down tree fort. He had to give it up due to severly blistered hands.

We took a break and went out to Mom & Dad's house to pick up tomatoes and watermelon. Sean had a great time eating watermelon on the porch. He had it everywhere. Mom took a couple of good photos of him.

Here he had a huge slice of watermelon and was savoring every bite. He also had a great time spitting the seeds out into the yard. In the next photo he is finishing off the final chunk and making sure that he has cleaned the rind off competely before having fun throwing the rinds out into the woods.

We've had company this evening - Walter came over for dinner and to play on the PlayStation with Sean. I haven't seen either one of them since dinner. They had a great time playing football and Rachet & Clank. I do believe that they even beat one of the levels in Rachet & Clank.

We sent Walter off this evening with his textbooks, tomatoes (from Papaw), a watermelon, and a game that he borrowed from Sean. Oh, almost forgot his boots that had been soaking in oxyclean while he was here. Yeah for oxyclean, it takes the swamp out of his boots.

Newsletter Gleenings to share:

Thought of the Week: Money is a result, wealth is a result, health is a result, illness is a result, your weight is a result. We live in a world of cause and effect. T Harv Eker

Quote of the Day:"You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself."Harry Firestone

Having worked as a paralegal I always get a big kick out of humor involving lawyers so with further ado....

LAWYER JOKE!

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean .

The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed in an earthquake, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start an earthquake?" he asked.

The family strikes again - with jokes coming in on email:

REST STOP

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked.

Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in 30 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this ... all the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, they also were trying to change airlines!

WHAT HAPPENED

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.

"Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view."

"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I was able to spend a little time with Faith in the nursery this morning. She was sitting in the floor all so sweet and acting like she was just all in charge. We had an excellent time playing in the floor and taking photos. She really enjoyed eating on her teething biscuit. She was showing off her tummy by picking up her dress, which reminds me of some old photos of myself.

I did get a recording of her having fun, the first on is a growl which Danielle says she has picked up from one of their friend's son.

I was also able to get Danielle & Ben to sit still long enough for me to take a picture of them also. Ben will be heading back to Liberty in the next couple of weeks and Mrs. Danielle will be starting her Senior year in September. Walter is starting his classes also very shortly.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Dean got up first this morning and let Miss Carla out and uncovered Tweat's cage, she then promptly began talking to us. I came down shortly afterwards as the smell of coffee was beckoning me - and feed the critters before settling in with my first cup of the morning. Ahh coffee!

The boys are off and about this morning - going to GameStop for some gaming stuff. That stuff is really just beyond me, but Sean and he both do enjoy it from time to time. Sean was able to get a PS2, plus a Rachet & Clank game and a 1 year warranty for all the items that he traded in. He's has been having fun ever since he got back and hooked it up to the television.

News on the trip to Germany - it has been put on hold for the time. Not too sure of the reason, perhaps due to the recent event regarding terroist or the company may just want to put it off. But whatever the cause it is off for now.

I found the photo of my granddaughter on Danielle's blog and just couldn't stand to see her without anything cute on to go with that sweet little hat. So I pulled out PhotoShop and spent the better part of the afternoon making adjustments and phone calls to Alice, to learn how to do somethings I didn't know how to do, all in order to make sure Miss Faith was all dressed up. I even went back later and uncovered her arms from her dress (before dress change), so if you have seen this before it has changed.

E-mail funny:

There was a kid taking a Statistics Class in college (STT 101). He finished his exam in half the time allotted, and the rest of the time he sat and flipped a coin.

The teacher asked what he was doing. And he said "I'm checking my answers."

Friday, August 11, 2006

I got lucky this morning, when I was making the normal pot of coffee. I just slapped a filter full of coffee in and set to brewing, failing to notice that I had forgotten to put the filter basket back in to hold the filter. Dean caught the early morning boo-boo when he saw the filter basket laying on the counter. The good news is the coffee brewed just find, the bad is that some of it over flowed and I ended up mopping up the counter. Enjoy your morning coffee - I will mine.

Alice stopped by for a short while this morning to brainstorm over a few logo designs for a tenative client. We were able to come up with several fairly good ideas. I hope that the client likes one of them. I got them worked up and sent to Alice for evaluation. It was good to work on something that was creative and productive. Instead of just sending her four (4) designs I ended up sending seven (7). I hope like crazy that this particular "job" comes through for "us". If not however, it has been excellent practice for me.

Sean & I have had such a great day together. We even went out and rented a few movies!

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - pretty good sequel.

Failure to Launch - chick flick

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - dark lighting made it hard to see, but that I suspect is due to it being done by Tim Burton. The storyline is similar to the older version, but there are a great number of changes.

Dodgeball - strange but funny

He found a really interesting penny this afternoon, it is an 1890 Indian head. It was exciting to find something like that in some change you've gotten from a store somewhere. He even did a number of chores around the house to help him earn some money. So this evening he has skated off to Skate-Away. I'll be picking him up later on this evening. I just know that he'll be having a great time.

Thought for the Day:"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however." Richard Bach

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What a dark gloomy morning we awoke to, YEAH!! It is raining. The little guy will definitely sleep later this morning. Dean made it out to his car before the rain picked up again. I popped open a couple of windows, since it is at this moment cooler outside than in to enjoy the morning sounds. The birds are really talking amongst themselves, there are several blue jays, wrens, and a couple of others that I'm not sure about. I can hear the rain as it hit the leaves and on a piece of tin roofing in the yard. I put Tweat's cage on the open window sill and she is loving it. Talking to all her "friends" in the yard. Carla came through just long enough to see that I wasn't going out and went back to "bed".

Well there go my "plans" for the day to do some painting on lawn furniture - absolutely too wet for that. I guess we'll just get all the laundry done and be prepared to do the furniture on another day.

Big News!! Dean is heading off to Germany for a few days in the middle of September for a seminar. He is going to be hopping for the next little while getting together all the travel arrangements.

Walter dropped by for a short visit this afternoon he was on a mission to de-swampify his boots. I do believe have he has achieved his goal - way to go Walter. Even though he was right here, we both forgot to have him pick up his textbooks for school. Hey Walter, they are on the dinning room table!

Alice & I got together for a short while the "project" that we are working on is moving along quite well. She also printed me up copies of some goldfish, I had painted, on waterslide paper. Looks like the those little fishies are going to get to end up in the toliet bowl after all. It cheesy but will be well worth the laughs. As bad as it sounds I'll post pictures once they are applied and sealed, I don't want them washing away.

E-Mail Humor, from a undisclosed relative:

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK ...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't s ay a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been browsing. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's p**-p** last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. I then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!