Wednesday, February 3, 2010

JOY!

Ok. So without going into too much detail, the marriage encounter was so powerful and life changing for us. Just processing all that God showed us and what we learned is just mind boggling to me. It was revelation, after revelation, after revelation. The main thing that He showed us was that we were living under fear for most, if not all of our marriage. This was a process that He started walking out with us for about a month before the encounter, so our soil had been plowed and the ground was soft and ready for God to be able to do His thing, and we were in a position to receive what He had for us. He didn't waste any time. Our church leaders felt God saying that as a body we needed to concentrate on our marriages. They were right on the money b/c He was so present all weekend and speaking so loud and clear to EVERYONE there. Maybe some time soon, i will share more in detail some of the things that God spoke to us, but getting rid of the fear thing was just so huge for Aaron and me. We had let fear paralyze us from moving forward in life...ministry, relationships, and so on. We always had an excuse. Mine so very often was that i didn't want to add anything else to my life, b/c I would feel overwhelmed. What it really boiled down to was that I was afraid to engage in anything or anyone. Afraid of change, of getting out of routine, of getting hurt. I didn't want anything new or unfamiliar. I just wanted to stay in my little stay-at-home mom box.So after totally surrendering that fear over to God, the downloads from Him just kept coming. They are still coming.One of the wonderful things I noticed was that I felt so hyper, and happy all week. I have been dancing all the time and getting such overwhelming senses of love for my family and different people that I almost can't stand it. I feel like jumping up and down, and sometimes I do. What I realized today, was that was God's joy! I got my joy back, and man does it feel so good! Joy from God is such a sweet gift. The last time I remember being this full of joy was when I first surrendered my life over to Jesus. For about 3 months, I felt like I was in this wonderful euphoric bubble where I was floating on cloud 9, happy all the time. God truly had given me new eyes and the gift of His joy. Through life I had let fear creep in and steal that from me, as well as Aaron had. After God pinpointing that for us, we surrendered once again. For me, He rewarded me with joy again! What an awesome thing! And for Aaron, he told a friend tonight that he got a new and improved wife! I love it! God changes us from the inside out, and it can happen as quickly as 1 night. I went to this encounter without any expectations with my hands open saying, God do something. I need you, and that's all it took. He's always waiting on us, we never have to wait on Him! His love and goodness is overwhelming!