Confused Obama can’t remember if he promised to end, or start more foreign engagements

WASHINGTON — Suffering from a memory lapse that could happen to anyone, really, President Obama said he couldn’t recall if he had promised to end U.S. military involvement abroad, or increase it. “I know while I was campaigning in 2008, I said something about wars in the Middle East, but for the life of me I can’t remember what,” Obama said in a speech on Wednesday. “You folks at home would be amazed, but being president is very difficult because you have to say a great number of things, then it’s like everyone literally takes notes, and if you don’t do exactly what you promised to do, they’re all, like, hey.” White House press secretary Josh Earnest said the public shouldn’t be surprised if Obama starts behaving in a manner suggestive of starting a long-term military campaign against, say, some militant organization operating in Iraq and Syria, because even if Obama did promise to end to foreign military engagements, the U.S. public “knew what he meant, right?”