2. Rub the chicken with love and prefered spices (see below), to the tunes of Bob Marley or Twisted Sister or whatever floats your boat. Sip on that Twisted Oak wine.

3. Pour favorite juices (see below) into a beer can roaster stand (stainless steel, or if industrious, a hand carved roaster of an emptied beer can). A couple more sips of that oh-so tasty Twisted wine.

4. Gently violate the chicken by inserting the roaster into the lower cavity of the chicken. Sip, sip.

5. Flap wings up & down for shock value and general jest. Sip & pass the Twisted wine to the left hand side.