Tools not Rules

People won’t know what you need unless you tell them. Pretty simple but it’s amazing how often we expect our co-workers, teammates, friends, and significant other to intuit our needs. And then, to make matters worse, we get frustrated because they don’t understand what we expect of them. If you haven’t told someone what you want and they fail to deliver it’s your own darn fault.

Sure, they are exceptions. You shouldn’t have to tell someone not to kill, steal or lie. But I’m going to assume folks with those tendencies have already been excised from your life. Lets focus on the people you want to spend time with.

If you haven't taken the time to express your values or desires and someone fails to deliver it’s unfair to hold them accountable. That said, recurring disappointment needs to be addressed. It's fair to assume that you shouldn’t have to tell them twice.