Secret Atheist Plan to Destroy Xmas

Some of you may have heard about Pat Robertson recently revealing the Secret Grinch Atheist Plan to Destroy Christmas and Rob the Rest of You of Happiness Because We Hate Happiness, which they were originally going to call S.G.A.P.D.C.R.R.Y.H.B.W.H.H., but that sounds like someone throwing up, kind of, and so it came to be called OPERATION MISERABLE, but it seems he found that out too, as you'll hear him drop none-to-subtle revelatory hints in that direction.

At first, the atheist "community" was all like, "Oh, shit - Pat knows the plan! He's exposed us on his important television program, despite the fact that those three words are meaningless when grouped in that order!" They ran about with their heads on fire, angry, black-hearted elves deprived of what constitutes holiday joy for people like that - wrecking that shit for everyone else. For years, they've avoided nog, presents, carols and bells for fear that shared simple enjoyment of these normal things would corrupt the plan to rob everyone else of fun. Now, it seemed as though all might be for naught, as Robertson's elite truth squad had tanked the plan.

Then a different school of thought became apparent; maybe Patty was engaging in a clever ploy to elevate the status of that oldest of Christian institutions, martyrdom. Maybe by once again dragging out the old "war on Christmas" (roasting) chestnut, he sought to whip up victimhood and false righteousness, really foment some of that old-tyme hatred of the heathen that so warms sacred hearts during the holiday season that Christians like so much that they stole it from the Romans and just wish most of the rest of world and a quarter of the US would go the fuck away and not bother them during.

But that's not REALLY what's going on here. Not really.

What's really happening is that Pat Robertson is a deep cover atheist operative embedded so well into what passes for our culture that no one even notices some of the obvious giveaways: His decidedly anti-Christian behavior, hate statements, attacks on the undeserving, minorities, weak and victimized people - I mean, seriously - just try to picture Jesus doing what Pat does every day. Does Pat have a kind word for some shunned by society? Shit, no. Pat kicks 'em while they're down, man, and if they're not down, he'll do his part to put them there. Once your eyes are open, you can never again not see the fact that Pat Robertson is a primary functioning agent of the Evil Atheist Agenda with a job to do.

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Secret Atheist Plan to Destroy Xmas

Some of you may have heard about Pat Robertson recently revealing the Secret Grinch Atheist Plan to Destroy Christmas and Rob the Rest of You of Happiness Because We Hate Happiness, which they were originally going to call S.G.A.P.D.C.R.R.Y.H.B.W.H.H., but that sounds like someone throwing up, kind of, and so it came to be called OPERATION MISERABLE, but it seems he found that out too, as you'll hear him drop none-to-subtle revelatory hints in that direction.

At first, the atheist "community" was all like, "Oh, shit - Pat knows the plan! He's exposed us on his important television program, despite the fact that those three words are meaningless when grouped in that order!" They ran about with their heads on fire, angry, black-hearted elves deprived of what constitutes holiday joy for people like that - wrecking that shit for everyone else. For years, they've avoided nog, presents, carols and bells for fear that shared simple enjoyment of these normal things would corrupt the plan to rob everyone else of fun. Now, it seemed as though all might be for naught, as Robertson's elite truth squad had tanked the plan.

Then a different school of thought became apparent; maybe Patty was engaging in a clever ploy to elevate the status of that oldest of Christian institutions, martyrdom. Maybe by once again dragging out the old "war on Christmas" (roasting) chestnut, he sought to whip up victimhood and false righteousness, really foment some of that old-tyme hatred of the heathen that so warms sacred hearts during the holiday season that Christians like so much that they stole it from the Romans and just wish most of the rest of world and a quarter of the US would go the fuck away and not bother them during.

But that's not REALLY what's going on here. Not really.

What's really happening is that Pat Robertson is a deep cover atheist operative embedded so well into what passes for our culture that no one even notices some of the obvious giveaways: His decidedly anti-Christian behavior, hate statements, attacks on the undeserving, minorities, weak and victimized people - I mean, seriously - just try to picture Jesus doing what Pat does every day. Does Pat have a kind word for some shunned by society? Shit, no. Pat kicks 'em while they're down, man, and if they're not down, he'll do his part to put them there. Once your eyes are open, you can never again not see the fact that Pat Robertson is a primary functioning agent of the Evil Atheist Agenda with a job to do.