What A Difference A Day Made

and the difference is you..

hello blog world. in this past several months i've been kind of really busy. There were many things that i had to do. Since i joined student council, there were some events that i had to handle. Of course i'm not the leader of those events, but im still in charge for that.Today is a really big day for me and the other member of anggota muda. we spent a half day for (let's call it..) celebrating our hard work. The celebrating was about social service plus counseling about saving our oxygen. The event goes very well yet little bit tiring in the same time. We had a lot of things to do, it started with an ice braking game and ended with painting a shirt game. It's a lot of FUN!In the other hand, today is my 29th monthversary-- it is quite a long relationship, isn't it? i spent my 29 months with him, with all happiness and sadness. i hope this relationship is the best for us because i already choose this way, so i have to work it out with all of the distractions.ok, just pray the best for our relationship.

Lately, if feel so !@#$%^&*)*&^%$#@ (i can't describe my feelings with words). It's really awkward feeling. ok, if you guys get confuse about what im saying, im gonna give an example. what its feel if you want a pizza and a hamburger in the same time, but you dont have enough money if you wanna buy both of them? that kind of feeling that i have to face every day (especially,when your money is about to gone). you'll get me if you live in the dorm or apart with your family.. LOL!! but it is really normal, you'll get confuse with all of the food thingy. we can say it "NASIB ANAK KOSAN"

by the way, next week my midterm test gonna start! i still not that ready for that because im so tired and depressed lately. hope it's gonna be ok by tomorrow.

I have this promise, and I take it seriously. I want this relationship to be good. I want this to be a happy ending story. I try everything to work it out. He tries too. I guess we'll get the answer at the perfect time. What's the meaning of our journey and all the distractions. Hope allah always leads us to the best way.

It’s the worst feeling in the world, to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

it's been along time since i haven't blogged. guess what? i miss it so much. like there's something i have to tell about, something i have to write. then i remember i have my old blog that i used to share my story.

here i go..

since i move to indonesia, my life completely different. i have new friends, new major in uni, new dorm, new problem, new habit, and the most important is I HAVE A NEW LIFE.

At one point that's all awesome but the other side is the opposite.

my new life is like a roller coaster. sometimes it goes up slowly than suddenly it goes faster to get right in the bottom.

i miss my old me. i miss my old life. i miss everything in the past. but now? i should probably live my life better than before. NO, its not "should" but HAVE TO.

this all about my regrets and searching for the actual reason why i'm here.

on 3rd december, i just turned to 19. and am so thankful to God to let me enjoy my 19th birthday.i would like also to say thanks to all of my family, bestfriend, friends, and 'you' for the wishes.I got something from my dearest friends. they made me this stuff, and it successfully touched me. Then i realize how much i miss them so much, SO MUCH.

also, i got some picture from my mbah. actually, when i was webcam-ing with him, he showed me his ceiling, but i thought it's nothink, but then when he turned off the light, the writing was came out, how cool. :) and here's the writing when there's no light.

besides, i got something from my friend also, he made me "i dont know what the type of that writing", but its about happy birthday.

night before my birthday, i watched fireworks in corniche and they were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, C-O-O-L, and it's just wonderful, the show it's about 45 minutes. (but my freind say that last year fireworks was better).

also, there's fireworks on 3rd dec, but that was not that long maybe only 20-30 minutes, and i really enjoy to watch them even if they'll show it for the whole night. in the end of the show there was a smiley face fireworks.. cute :) but i cant get the picture of it.

notes: maybe my 19th was not that great and this is my first time to feel something not good on my day. but its ok, not a good start in the beginning of my 19 doesn't effect anything in my entire years. its just something i should learn.