2009

Well......*Maiya: should we just do a quick review on the first part of today and get on with now?* you are ever so wise :) yup we shall....Okay we left at 11 am....ate ice cream...came back to Iowa...and returned home..*Maiya: Now back to now...* At 8 pm today I started to cry uncontrolably again. Thinking about how I should just go die and get rid of the burden my life puts on others. I thought about how happiness and love will be forever out of my reach*Maiya and Artemis: But we love you* I know. That is the only reason I wont off myself. I don't want the two of you to die, but it makes me feel sad and like a monster when I think about how only two people out of everyone I know love me and wish for me to be happy. I mean I'm pretty ******* sure that my own mother doesn't even love me and wants me to go die. While I'm know I'm right when I think that my friends are my friends because they feel so bad for being mean to mean. Which I don't understand why they would feel bad*Maiya: I have no idea either* *thinks*......nothing comes to this part of the idiotic mind. Hmmmm that reminds me...what are we going to do about the manga situation Maiya? *Maiya: Well seeing as you'll be able to work soon and get a job and all that, you then can pay for it yourself*....so I will only be able to buy manga in the summer? Because I think no one will hire someone as ugly as me*Maiya: You could always put only manga on your christmas list* yeah but G.G. and mother will probably just ignore it this time and just buy me gothic clothes. That reminds me again...why does my mother think I like to wear girl gothic clothes? *Maiya: She probably doesn't like to think of her own daughter as a crossdressing freak, so she starts to think gothic is the same thing as baggy and that by you not wanting to wear pink means you want to wear red, black, and blue type stuff*...*sighs*...I still will never understand why she wont let me dress as a boy. I never asked to wear gothic clothes. I was on the right track a year ago where I kept demanding baggy clothes, but the second I see a baggy shirt in Hot Topic, mother thinks that I must want to dress gothic....ugh....one of the few things that make me happy was taken from me again. There is only three more things on the list right? *Maiya: yeah the other three are still DJ, Manga, Artemis and Me. So far manga is getting pretty close from being tooken away. I would have thought DJ would be but for some reason he keeps being your friends. Yet another thing I will never under stand*....I would give Manga until October until it will be taken from me. That would mean DJ and you guys would be the only things left. And I don't know how long DJ will last....I hope forever...but that would be of course impossible....I just realized that everyone I love and makes me happy will never hug me*Maiya: Me and Artemis can give you hugs from your head* I know but I actually want a hug that I don't start. The last ten hugs I had, I had to ask for T_T. I can only think of one hug I didn't ask for...*Maiya: That hug was a little creepy and I think he just wanted to see your reaction to being hugged* probably....ughh....I miss DJ, Jonathan, Willie, Cody, and Kody...ughhh...I want to give them all hugs T_T. *Maiya: Me too T_T* should we sign off for now? *Maiya: Yeah, I think were done at the moment talking about "this"* okay bye everyone. May all of you futures be blessed with love, luck, and happiness. Live Long and Prosper.

2009

Well we headed out to Minnesote at about 10 am. We drove forever*Maiya:Can we make this short? Right now your going through emotional termoil again and I don't want you to think more* okay. Went to outlet until 9 am and drove around for one hour looking for somewhere to eat. Came to hotel and fell asleep. THAT''S IT!!!!!
I feel unstable at the moment

13

2009

girl

Helloooooo~ :D *says happily* *Maiya: How are you happy when were suffering up here?* It's not my fault T_T I'm suffering to *insert swear word, preferably something that starts with a F* this head ache *graps head in pain* *Maiya: Ughh.....should we continue *runs around in Miranda's head screaming** Sure...okay...We had another bout of insomnia again. Making us stay up until 7 am. We got around 2 in a half hours of sleep until we got a phone call *Maiya: It was a tellamarkertar. So after swearing prefusely into the phone, we hanged up :) * Rightttt.....Then about ten seconds later mother called. *Maiya: She was surprised that the dork was awake and told her that she was comming home and that they and Josh were going in town* We wanted to sleep but....well we ended up going. Mother drove us to get a new attena then soon after we had lunch at Olive Garden. *Maiya: One of Miranda's class mares was present XP we felt like we were being stared at so she didn't eat much* *Artemis: *mutters* freak* *Maiya: *gives glare* moving on...* We had the soup and salad and left. Now the next two hours were a bler...*Maiya: Okay Miranda was tired so me and Artemis were the only ones that know what happened...will try and make it short* *Artemis: Miranda's mother was being impulsiven that day, and decided to buy Miranda a closet* *Maiya: Is she sending signals to her? Because she was obsessing with those closets for a while...* *Artemis: Idiot....* *Maiya: *ignores comment* We went back and fourth from Target and Menards. When the group of five(mother, Josh, Miranda, Artemis, and me) was in there Miranda was being choked by her brother. *frowns* good thing we made her punch him :D * *Artemis: She made her punch him. I had nothing to do with it* *Maiya: Sure....well Miranda was able to think again when the arrived home* uhhhh can I tell it now? or am I still not present *Maiya: sure ^_^* Okay I went to my room and put on my sweats. Me, Maiya, and Artemis just crashed on the bed. Then about ten minutes later Josh yells down saying he wants to play chess. We didn't want to play but, I didn't want to get him mad. *Maiya: *smiles evily* We won against a twenty-one year old, college student. Were seven in a half years apart yet we still one XD * I feel proud :)....well after we won we went back to sleep. Two hours later Missy(DJs girlfriend called) called and aksed if I wanted to hang out with her, DJ, Cody(small cody not tall cody), his little sister, and eventually Grant. I said yes and we headed over to where they were. Well.........We had the most awkward conversation with DJ.......at least I now known that they still think of me as a girl....very awkward....*Maiya: I wanted to laugh :) * yeah XD. Well we left ways after two hours. We went back home and had dinner, which was mcdonalds. We returned to my room and watched Eureka. Now were reading Guilty Until Proven Innocent and watching the Daily Show....*Maiya: Bye! ^_^* yup :D bye! Live Long and Prosper.

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