Steven 'Gilly' Gillmeister

About 'Gilly'

Gilly's House was established in memory of Steven Gillmeister, who passed away from a heroin overdose on October 24, 2016 at the age of 25.

Gilly had a big smile and an even bigger heart, and those who were close to him knew of his ability to light up a room and make friends wherever he went.

He was always joking and laughing, and could make you laugh no matter what kind of day you were having. He would make up songs to cheer you up if you were having a bad day, and would drop anything to help someone in need.

Gilly was never the type of person to do something half-way, he was determined and loved people fully and unconditionally. He had hundreds of friends all across the world, from California to Maine to Israel, and touched the lives of countless people.

In his teens, Gilly began using drugs; at first he was a "social user," but later became addicted to opiates and heroin, which led to a long cycle of detox, recovery, sober living and eventual relapse. He desperately wanted to be "normal" and felt he was not as far in life as he should have been because of his addiction.

He was stubborn in his thinking, because of his disease, and wanted to do things his own way without following a strict program. However, he had the most success living in recovery homes where he was able to work and live as a normal 25 year old.

During his struggle with addiction, Gilly was actively helping other addicts get clean in any way he could. He had a passion for helping others, and with Gilly's House we hope to carry out his legacy and continue to help those in need.

Excerpt from Gilly's Journal

"Things to Think About" - November 11, 2014

When using you feel alone, ashamed and embarrassed. You alienate yourself which adds to your depression. You become a loner because of using and you use because you are lonely.

You can't dwell on the things you can't control, like [your girlfriend] leaving. Getting high makes you feel better temporarily but makes you more depressed in the long run. It doesn't let you deal with your emotions, so you just stay stuck, which brings you deeper and deeper into depression.

The main reason why I think I use is because of emotions and inability to cope. I let it become a coping mechanism that clearly doesn't work. It doesn't let you move on with life and better yourself and that's a problem. Plain and simple it makes you stuck, and you use because you're stuck.

Haven't you noticed in the last few days how good it feels to talk about it and to think of the future? Don't you wanna actually have the things you want, instead of just talking about them? Don't you wanna be proud of yourself and make the most important people in your life proud of you?

Don't you wanna find enjoyment in things like normal people? Well drugs have let you find enjoyment in nothing and that's why you keep going back. Don't you wanna find happiness in the little things like normal people do?

Don't you wanna not have to rely on something for happiness? Don't you wanna be where everyone else is? Drugs have ruined your life, and your relationships, the way you think, and everything else, who are you fooling?

You see where everyone else is and that adds to your depression and unhappiness. The only way you can feel different is by not doing drugs. You could be so much farther in life and have so much more if you just stopped. But again, its the sadness and loneliness that keeps you on the wrong road and you're sad and lonely because of the road you're on.

By 23 I thought everything would be different but its not. You lost one of the most important people in your life because you couldn't change. The only person besides your parents who stuck by you, made you happy, made you feel special and loved, because of your decisions.

Your inability to listen and motivate screwed you and left you as lonely and depressed as you are. Your inability to cope with things is because of your using, when you could have been back to normal by now.

You need to cut people out of your life and put the people who actually care first. You need to open up to the people who are close, and talk, not only when things are going badly but when things are going well.

You're not gonna be able to deal with your emotions until you're sober and clear headed, and you know this. Talk to a therapist. In the past you couldn't pin point your issues but now you have somewhere to start.