from the mundane to the mundane and back again

There’s a sculpture of Bruce Springsteen in Jacks Music front window, a few weeks ago the artist who sculptured it asked if he could display it. Since there was a live Springsteen DVD being released one of the managers said it would be ok. Now I’m hardly qualified to comment on the actual sculpture but it’s the presentation that gets me. The head is on a piece of rebar jammed into a block of wood, with the words “The Boss” scrawled in red paint. It looks a little creepy like something from Lord of the Flies.

Older guy who at first appeared ok and then switched gears to eccentric pretty quickly:“Hey…you got that Springsteen album…you know the first one…uh…Bruce Greets You In Asbury or uh..something like that, cause I donated it to the Asbury Park library…FOR DISPLAY ONLY!…I was never gonna take it back but they were not to loan it to anyone ever…They took my name and my address and my instructions about not loaning it out and it took them three years to put it on display…and when they did it was signed, I don’t know if it was Springsteen who signed it cause I have bad eyes and it looked like a chinaman signed it…so how much is it worth?”ME-I don’t know man“5,000…5,000 dollars?!”ME-Maybe a couple of hundred at best, if it’s authenticated.“3,000 dollars…3,000 dollars at least, right?”ME-Sure, 3,000 dollars, why not.“Sorry, sorry…he makes me crazy, not you, Bruce does…Were you here two weeks ago when I was looking for Sergio Franchi? You know why I was looking for him?… My sister married his brother…he was good with electrics, had a short temper and looked like Phil Silvers because of the glasses, the dark glasses…His name was Sonny and he was illiterate and he stuttered…one time he took my sister to see Sergio Franchi and he said “Ain’t I your brother?” and Sergio said, “Yeah, that and a quarter will get you on the subway.” yeah…you see these (put a pack of Parliaments on the counter)…when I was a kid my parents called me in and gave me a cigarette and said smoke it…and I said I don’t smoke and they said we think you been smokin’ so we’ll see how you smoke this cigarette and we’ll know if you’re lyin’…and guess what, I been smokin’ ever since…”

A half hour before we open up, I’m in early doing paperwork. The phone rings:
-Hello, Jacks -Yeh, is this Tim?
-Yes. -It’s Irene. You know me, right?
-I’m not sure -Sure you do, you stinker. Anyhow, do you have Springsteen’s phone number? Because he stole my car.
-Stole your car. -Well, they said he had it towed, but I know he stole it. So do you have his number?
-No, he doesn’t go around giving people his phone number. -MMmmmm, I was just in Massachusetts, absolutely out of my mind. I’ve been having problems with the Three Stooges. You know who they are don’t you?
-LarryMoeCurley?
-No. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. I don’t know which one’s which. You know the Three Stooges could also be Springsteen, McLean, and Dylan.
-McLean?
-Yeah. Don McLean, jeez don’t you work in a record store. Anyhow, I won’t keep you. Are you sure you don’t have Bruce’s phone number?
-I’m sure.