Thank you so much for submitting your etiquette questions to us! We received a bunch of queries, and because the WeddingWire team wants to help clear up any wedding-related drama in your lives, we’ll continue to answer a question a week for the next few weeks. Feel free to continue submitting questions to us via Facebook, Twitter, email, or the comments below. We’ll try to answer as many of your tough etiquette questions as we can! Here’s today’s Q&A:

Courtney asks (via comments):What’s the proper etiquette on rehearsal dinner invitations? Can we include the rehearsal dinner invite in the bundle with our wedding invitation (obviously, only adding that in for the people invited to the rehearsal dinner)? We’ve heard it’s a great way to save some money, but we’ve also heard it’s tacky to not send them a separate invite. Thoughts?

We usually recommend sending out rehearsal dinner invitations under separate cover, especially if there are two different parties hosting the separate events. For example, if your parents are paying for the wedding and your spouse-to-be’s parents are handling the rehearsal dinner, there should be two invitations. Also, if you do include the rehearsal dinner invitation with the wedding invitation, your guests may think everyone is invited to the night-before celebration which can cause confusion. So, bottom line: To be on the safe side, keep the invitations separate.

Danielle asks (via email): I am planning a wedding in a relatively short time and because of budgetary concerns, can only invite about 75 people. How do I leave guests out, especially members of the extended family, without offending them? Would it help to contact them directly and explain to them why they did not receive an invitation?

The most important thing to remember when creating your guest list is consistency. If you invite one first cousin, you have to invite them all. If you create these sorts of guidelines and stick to them, there’s a smaller chance people will be insulted. Be open and honest with your uninvited family members and friends – these are people who love and care about you, so they’ll understand. And, if you’d like, you can even throw a casual barbeque or cocktail party after the official wedding to celebrate your marriage.

Crystal asks (via email):My ceremony and reception are in the same location – and of course there is an open bar for the reception. The hotel is about a 15 minute drive away. Is it expected nowadays to have a shuttle to take guests to and from the hotel, or would it suffice to provide cab information in my welcome bags? Transportation really isn’t in our budget, but I don’t want anyone to be put out (or, worse, driving after drinking!).

Providing transportation for your guests is a thoughtful gesture, but it’s not a must. Talk to the hotel where your guests are staying – many hotels can provide an inexpensive (or even complimentary!) shuttle if a significant number of guests are staying there. You can also ask your venue for suggestions on transportation companies – perhaps they have connections to help you get a good rate. If that’s not an option, you can certainly provide cab information in your welcome bags – or even better, arrange for taxis to be waiting outside your venue at the end of the wedding. That way, guests won’t be stuck waiting for too long.

Daryll asks (via Facebook): Is it insulting or otherwise inappropriate to include a line on your wedding invitations regarding requested dress for your wedding: black tie optional? formal attired preferred or similar?

It’s not insulting to include a dress code on your invitation. Our only recommendation would be to use standard language so it’s not confusing for your guests. “Black Tie Optional” is probably the easiest to understand – men can wear tuxedos, but a dark suit is okay, too. It may sound like fun to have a creative dress code like “Country Club Chic” or “Renaissance Attire Preferred,” but such attire restrictions will be confusing and even stressful for your guests – so avoid them!

Some people who are part of our wedding, (our officiant and DJ, in particular) are close family friends who would have been invited to the wedding had they not offered to be a part of it. Are we supposed to send them invitations?

Rebecca

Is it OK to include a line on the invitation RSVP card for the Sunday brunch the next day? We need to have a general idea of how many people are coming for the restaurant where we are having the brunch.

GBBBride

I have received several invitations that have included other events besides the actual wedding. If the brunch is extended to everyone invited to the wedding then it is perfectly appropriate. Also if the same people hosting the Sunday brunch hosted the wedding (such as if you and your husband are paying for both) then it is acceptable to have the same invitation for both. However, if either of your parents are paying for one and not the other, then you need to have separate invitations. Just like the same answer to the question about the rehearsal dinner.