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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

How to Untangle a Knot

Perhaps some conflicts that marriages encounter are like knots in a rope. It never helps to get impatient and pull on the rope. This only knots things tighter and makes one's job of untangling much harder. The best way to get out a knot is to stop pulling and gently work at the knot, slowly unwinding one cord at a time. Then the knot is free!

When challenges in marriage appear like a spouse losing a job, or dealing with ADD, or confronting an issue that seems unsolvable; it can seem like a huge knot. You want it to be untangled as fast as possible (because knots are annoying) so you start pulling and getting impatient and getting even more tangled up. I'm finding that when I can step back, take a breath and gather up some patience, I can start seeing the places where I can untangle the knot a little here.....then a little there....then a little more over there.

Time and patience are so very key in marriage. As much as we'd all love to simply pull at the knot have have it *snap* disappear, it usually takes both spouses calming down and slowly working through issues together to reach a resolution and accepting however long that takes.

1 comment:

I can't be more agree. Sometimes when we get impatient and lose our tempers, everything gets even more complicated. The only problem is, not everyone can step back and gather up their patience, which only leads to the problem getting harder to solve.

Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.

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Jake and Melissa Kircher

Taken by Alex Christine Photography

About Us

Jake and Melissa were married on August 27, 2005.

Jake graduated with a B.A. from Gordon College, Wenham, MA in 2004. His studies were in Youth Ministry with a minor in Biblical and Theological Studies. He has been in ministry now for ten years and is a Licensed Minister. Currently, he is the Youth Pastor at Grace Community Church in New Canaan, CT. He also works with REACH Youth New England doing Regional Training, Communications and Web Design and is also the US Representative for We Love Our Youth Worker a ministry started in the UK. You can find out more about Jake's ministry at www.jakekircher.com.

Melissa graduated with a B.A. from Gordon College, Wenham, MA in 2005. She studied fine art. Melissa is currently a self-employed artist in the fields of painting, photo-processing, graphic design and writing. She recently completed her first novel and is currently seeking representation. Novel #2 is in the works. You can learn more about Melissa's writing at www.mkircher.com.

They currently live in Connecticut and have two children: a 2-year old boy who is crazy active and likes to bang on everything he can and a little girl who is just about to start crawling and make our lives really crazy. :)