DEAR JOAN: We have our first cat in many years and love Caroline dearly. However, she is not always sweet. She is 8 months old and a totally indoor cat.

We have stopped her from climbing on counters with a little squirt to the backside, or climbing on anything else she shouldn't.

Our main behavior problem now is she can be sitting on our lap, nice and docile, but then all of a sudden will bite us.

It happens so fast we can't stop it. Any suggestions as to why she can be so sweet one minute and then bite?

A cat lover told me she is showing love, however that is a dangerous way to show it.

Renee H.

Cyberspace

DEAR RENEE: Those nips aren't love, Caroline is showing. She's telling you to "back off for a bit."

The problem is that cats like being petted, but not as much as we like petting them. When they have had enough, they tell us in the only way they know how -- by biting the heck out of us.

I had a Siamese cat who would sit in my lap, purring away as I stroked his beautiful fur. And then he would suddenly lunge at my hand, mouth open but not making contact. If I persisted in petting him, he would bite me. I was grateful for the advance notice, though, and he soon trained me.

Your Sweet Caroline is probably giving you warnings, as well, that you aren't noticing. But you, too, can be trained.

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Start by limiting the petting. Stroke her fur for one minute, then stop. Let her remain in your lap, but move your hands out of range. If she indicates she wants more, pet her for another minute.

While you're doing this, pay attention to Caroline's body language. Is her tail twitching? Are her ears flattening? Those are all signs she is tiring of the attention. Stop immediately.

If she does bite, don't scold her. Just stop petting and don't touch her again unless she asks you to by rubbing her head under your hand. If you respect the nip, eventually you'll reach a happy accord. You'll get a feel for how long she likes to be stroked and she might become a little less imperialistic about it.

DEAR JOAN: I saw a bird I had never seen before the other day. I was in Oakland near Lake Merritt and as I walked to my car I saw a large bird about the size of a seagull, maybe a little bigger, just hanging out at a fast-food restaurant.

Because of its size and the body shape, I honestly thought it was a hawk when I first saw it. It wasn't startled by people walking past, it stayed there long enough for me to get a photo and ask a passer-by if she knew what kind of bird it was. She said she couldn't remember the name but thought they could only be found at Lake Merritt. Could this be accurate?

Earlene

Cyberspace

DEAR EARLENE: What you saw is a juvenile black-crowned night-heron.

The bird is not unique to Lake Merritt, nor to fast-food restaurants, apparently. It has a wide range in the United States, although it is most prevalent around the coastal areas. If you had heard its call, it would have sounded like a low harsh "woc."

When the young birds grow up, they turn into tall, graceful water birds that feed in shallow water.

Watch the birdies

Keep an eye out for pine siskins and kinglets, which seem to be hanging around.