by the "real one" you're talking about the one where greasy haired dudes get tripped and rive around in pain until the World War 2 stretcher is wheeled out, correct? Not the one where Hall of Fame safeties lop off fingers so they can stay in the game, or Hall of Fame linebackers reset their own separated shoulders, right?

Don't forget about the magic cold spray! It has saved countless lives this year alone!