How to Stop Saying yes when you want to say NO

I wanted to do a quick blog as I was being interviewed last night for a blog talk radio show in America and the lady was talking to me about the book that I’ve written which is called From Fear to Fabulous and in that book, one of the sections I talk about is the shadow.

The shadow is the aspects of our self that we tend to not want to acknowledge, that we want to hide away.

And we all have them, and it’s perfectly normal to have those, it’s not a personality disorder or anything like that.

But, one of the aspects that I talk about in the book is the pleaser. And many of us have this shadow part. I know I had it for so many years. Many, many years and I’ve been working on not having it anymore and bringing it into the light.

But I noticed as I was having this conversation with this lady last night, that so many of my clients have had this trait of being a people pleaser and I think it’s very common in women, especially women of a certain age from what I have seen in my own research and from my own experience with the women that I work with.

If that’s something that you have, if that’s one of your traits, then I urge you to look at it and to start changing it because it really doesn’t serve you in any way, shape or form.

All it does is really diminish your own personality. And I know that some of the women I’ve worked with, they don’t even know what sort of things they like.

They lose their identity. And it all really stems from fear; I know I’ve talked about this previously; they fear being judged or fear not being liked or not being accepted, and worst of all – fear rejection.

In tribal days, we had to be accepted. If we weren’t, if we were cast out of the tribe, then we’d die! But that’s not gonna happen today. This is something that I’m really, really passionate about. I am fed up with wonderful women feeling downtrodden and not standing in their own power because as I say, I suffered with this fear for so many years and I know many, many women do too.

So if that is something that you do then please do take a look at it and go about starting to change that pattern. And the way you do that is by really acknowledging first of all that you have that trait and then you start to notice when you are saying yes to things when you really want to say no, or you’re agreeing to things and then feeling resentful afterwards.

I address this in much more detail my book From Fear to Fabulous, http://amzn.to/2nFmOVY
but I have just written a shortened version of the book. It’s a brand new abridged EBook version of that that I’ve recently written that you’re most welcome to.

It’s free, you can have it. It’s available to download now. Just click on the link below. Make yourself a cup of tea and have a read. You will find the information well worth the investment of your time.

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