AstraAngel Please Help

nice to meet you and you too DaniBo! I hate to interupt or anything but I was wodering if you could help me AstraAngel

I was wondering if you could do a general love reading for me (it can include past present and future but hey Im only 19 love isn't my main focus lol)-Ita just my last breakup was realy painful yet eyeopening to me-I dated him for about a year and after the brutal breakup haven't spoken to him since December but Im finally over it completely without wanting to go back in any way yayyyy!!!!!

Will I be able to go to Miami for film school this coming fall (October or November) or this coming Winter?

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Sunday, August 14, 2011 23:12 PDT

Asia118X

Any advice or anything you feel is fine with me-I won't be offence I might lean something new whether it's from the past present or future lol!

Not trying to sound cliche I have a great feeling Im going to be famous or be extremely sucessful in film. I've seen or heard it all in my readings before but now I feel it. I'm starting to have dreams of me interviewing or visions of it and it's becoming overwhelming lol. I also see mused on magazine covers and winning diffrent awards. The feeling is becoming very strong but I do wonder if you see it?

And also it just hit me, (I do think of my ex at times but not in a nostalgic way but Im happy Ive known him but don't forget how he did me in the end and how it messed my plans up. I forgave him completely and honestly and let my ego go I order to completely move on without even considerig beige together with him again-I feel Ibe grown since him) I actually prayed for him the oter day because I feel something has happened to him or will happen to him. Without the cards, was it ok to do that or does it still show I have feelings for him-I feel Ive moved on but I don't hate him at all but I don't really care if I ever hear from him again or not-I have bigger things to worry about)

I remember replying to this, not sure what happened, may have lost the connection. I do remember seeing you doing the film school thing!

Let's start over and see what comes up now... we have seven cards...

General love reading for you...

Past - The Wheel of Fortune (reversed) - Your love life was good and then the music stopped. Maybe that was a good thing.

Present - the Four of Pentacles - You seem more concerned about a security issue, your home seems to be the focus.

Future - The Moon. Nice. This feels really special coming in at this point in your life. Whatever was left after the wheel stopped turning, and then the security concerns are dealt with, seems to prepare you for a really special relationship. Very emotional and a little ...spooky... in a fun way Whatever this relationship is, it like a breathe of heaven in your life, I see you soaring in love....

Will I be able to go to film school this Fall? Eight of Cups (reversed) - A card of emotional organization and refinement, this feels like you are very excited that you are going, and you are putting the wheel in motion again, this time it is for You, and not someone else. Your eyes light up, you know you are talented, and you can't wait to show that to the world.

Or winter - King of Pentacles - Maybe this is more comfortable to make this deadline. I wouldn't wait.

Do I see your feeling that you will be in film school? The Magician. I can't think of a better card to get than the magician for film school. He is all about creating illusions that amaze us, and help us feel ourslves so yes yes yes you are going

Your feelings for your ex - The Chariot - A wild ride, in several directions at once. Wore you out. You are glad it is in the past. There is a feeling that your life was mostly out of your control in that, and you are so relieved to be now more focused on yourself. Keep going, you are on your way.

Is that okay praying for him? Yes, can't hurt to pray for anyone or anything.

Thank you soooo much AstraAngel! I really appreciate this alot. Things seem to be going ok for me even on bad days (I work hard to remember the things I have to smile about)) Film school-thank god! Ive been having a feeling that something good was in the air! Even if/when I get famous (I have a great feeling I will) I still want to finish school-there's always more to learn! And yes my ex-it was a wild ride at the time! Mainly me dealing with oor manifesting my childhood hurts through him (unknowingly) I had a terrible abusive father and I didnt mean to but I sort of latch on to him even though I tried my best in not being emotionally needy but so was he in a different-then come to find out he was a selfish drug dealer and he broke up with me so vaguely and brutally all at once-really hurt but I took the time for myself to grow and prosper and didnt contact him once. Now I can finally say Im glad to leave the past in the past even though I miss him at times.

I meant to say he was needy in a different way (I was nuturing and girlfriend/motherly to him) and I wanted him as my boyfriend/father supplement (get the love I never recieved from my father). He wa my first love and honestly it took me a long time to get over the breakup but Im alright now just focusing on myself and staying balanced (my intense emotions go awry at times-I ride df highs and lows). I feel Im doing better with my emotions but it can be better naked it worse Im an empath lol. If you want to read my breakup story it's I a thread called Taurus Girls Calling Out To All Scorpios (you do not have to answer the questions on there-I goodnow lol) just would like to know what you think?

Let's see what else comes up for you. You seem very excited about your film path, and I think that's a great place to focus for you. You will find that all of your life experiences will play into that path, you will pull from your past experience to make you a better screenwriter.

Seven of Cups - You are really dreaming a lot for sure, sevens are all about your imagination, so you are envisioning your options with the film world. Keep that going!

King of Swords - You are worn out somewhat from all of the past influences, (with your ex mainly) your mind has weighed out what happened over and over, and you have exhausted the analysis. All of that will heal over time. You are aware of your past and how that can influence your choices for a mate so that is good wisdom.

The Queen of Swords - you should stand up for your own needs now, and be clear about that with others. Stay centered in your wonderful journey of creativity that you are on, protect that.

In regards to your question about winning this screenwriting contest...

Ace of Cups - Looks good to me! This is not a guarantee of anything, however if anyone can win, you can. You have the drive, the passion, the desire, the longing to do this thing. In any case, an Ace here spells nice things for you, for sure. A new seed of beginnings for you, something wonderful beginning... i am very excited for you!

Queen of Wands - you are really fired up, and ready to take on the world, and whatever life throughs at you. THis Queen is all about a strong self-image, a positive, "take no prisoners" approach to life that has her floating across the stage of life's dramas, in control of herself, and her life. YOU ARE THIS QUEEN, she is your identity. ANd your identity is very strong. You know you can and will win at whatever you set your hand to.

Nine of Wands - you have been through a lot in life so far, you have experienced pain of degrees that others can't even relate to. So you tend to live in a somewhat private world, these experiences have pushed you to travel inside yourself looking for answers. You are also an earth sign (like me) so that keeps you very grounded, practical minded. You simply don't have time any more with the B S of life, you have better things to do - LIKE SUCCEED AT YOUR HEART'S CALLING!!! This Nine is the Wounded Warrior, after the battle is over and the dust clears, you are still standing, and in a very capable and strong position. This affirms what we touched on before, that no matter what you have gone through, it is all a part of WHO YOU ARE, and that will be the material you draw from in your film work - and in life in general. You are wiser for all of this trouble, it has made you the fierce warrior princess that you are today!

Page of Cups - Be on the lookout for someone new coming into your life, this page is shy, and sweet, and kind to you. Not like some of the losers you have had to deal with. Providing some nurturing that you have found yourself giving others. This is message of love for you. Be open to messages about this.

The Empress - The theme of nurturing carries over here, no doubt picking up on your earthy Taurus personality. You want to see life working so beautifully, you like taking care of situations around you, making sure that everything works together. This tells me that your path will lead you forward into a life situation where you are very capable, comfortable and strong. You have arrived and the earth opens to you her good treasure.

The King of Wands - this is interesting. The Queen of Wands, you... a mysterious Page appears... love... then the Empress, your nurturing self... and then a King of Wands, no doubt the Page turns out to be someone you really trust, perhaps standing at your side while you get through school.

And... the Seven of Wands, so we end on the "imagination" number again. The message here is to KEEP DREAMING exactly as you are doing, work your a s s off and get the gratification and rewards you deserve. You are destined for great things.

I was not able to locate that thread you mentioned. Whatever it was, it's in the past. You learned from it.

Make it fodder for the next academy award winning movie that you will write. A movie about how a person refused to give up and made her own movie, about her own life.

Thank you Astra Angel really appreciate it! And youre definetly right about standing up for my own needs always have to do that-everyone seems to think Im destine to fail or too scared to chase what they really want (and thats everyone besides my mother). I sent my pitch and my screenplay off-hopefully it does well. I realize I have alot to learn but its good Im open for this buisness but I really still think my talent speaks for itsself (no cockiness intended lol). Btw Astra Angel that earthiness has always been apart of me as a Taurus but their are other signs that affect me just as deeply and make me quite complex and dynamic lol.

Here's part of my birth chart:

Rising Sagitarrius

Pluto in Scorpio

Moon in Cancer

Mars in Aries

Mercury in Aries

Venus in Taurus

I think at this stage Im just internalizing and learning patience. I believe things will come just wish I could see it now but dont want to mess up a good thing because from every reading I've seen-Im pretty blessed and great things are too come, just everything seems so distant and far yet so close I can taste it lol! Just hate having negative people around me (especially my father). But either way thank you lol!

And hey AstraAngel! I got the link I wanted you to check out only if you wanted to. Here's what happened with my ex a long time ago. Just curious to what your imput is on it (honestly you DO NOT need to answer the questions on there lol-I was in a different state of mind then) even though I think Im fine-just curious: http://www.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=12589&replies=6

I read over that thread you provided about your ex, and the only thing that came up for me was you are better off now. The field you are getting into (and will be a SuperStar in BTW requires that you experience a lot of relationship situations... these are all experiences that you are drawing from for your career work. So, while these breakups might be painful, and you are wondering WHY THE F IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? you are actually learning a great deal... about human nature... about love... about respect.... about the mystery of life itself. And as a very successful screenwriter that you are, you long for these varied experiences to create kind of a library of experience that will play into your life work.

Your photos are compelling. I do see a lady with the stars in her eyes and the moon above her. You have success written all over you. No question about it. Keep doing exactly as you are doing, you really don't need to change anything. Keep pressing into the schooling with all of your heart, that is such an important part of you. I believe that as you keep going down this track, true love will pay you a visit at the right time, and you should wait for this, because it will be with someone very special who will really understand this Taurus, "don't take no for an answer" lady from heaven. I won't say he is "tall, dark and handsome"... he will be a lot better than that for you.

You mentioned your chart...

Rising Sagitarrius - You are a go-getter!

Pluto in Scorpio - You have a knack for turning situations that box you in around.

Moon in Cancer - you love to love, and you know what intimacy means. You are very quiet and composed emotionally... no outbursts... you take time to process and you are very cool when others are falling apart. This is quite a strength in you, quite amazing actually.

Mars in Aries - WOW! This explains why you are on fire with your career. There is no stopping your progress, other need to just get out of the way or they will be feel the heat of your arrows!

Mercury in Aries - ANd mercury too. So Mars has the fire and gets some guidance from the know-it-all Mercury. You are a great communicator and this will be a tremendous asset for you as you journey in your life/career. I see you on the phone talking to your agent, the Director, actors, actresses, you are right in the midst of so much activity and YOU LOVE IT! I had a flash of that right then very strong.

Venus in Taurus - WIth Venus in your Sun sign you see yourself as a very loving person, your love life is important to you, very much so. As long as you understand that while you are LOVING you are also LEARNING (and storing away screenplay material!) you should do fine in your relationships. They turn negative? RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!!!!

Asia... you are a Star right now to me... you have already arrived... you keep going, I am praying for you and wishing you the greatest success.

P.S. Your photo are beautiful and show clearly how strong you are in your personal drive for success. One aspect of the photos that is very cool is ... do you see how in one photo you are looking left, the other right? And one is black and white and one is color... this tells me you have a very strong sense of balance, and poise. You know how to play life to get what you need. You are looking at all the possibilities... in every direction! AMazing you are, keep going. Turn your negative situation into a screenplay.

"My Negative Dad and How I learned to escape" - A new screenplay by Asia 118x. Soon to be a major motion picture directed by David Lynch starring Gwyneth Paltrow (not Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Haahaaa thank you Astra Angel really appreciate it! And yeah I do know Im better off without that jerk lol! Ive learned now even though I kind of laugh now about it-it was really uncalled for and showed what kind of person he was and not me. When I learned and absorbed that I finally let go but I can say it took me some time lol (about 8 months). I have a feeling I will be extremely sucessful honestly especially being a young woman in a male dominated field and especially being that most filmmakers get their first taste of sucess in thier late 20s or early 30s.

Im planning on writing and directing my own movies only because I feel that gives me more prominence and control over my vision but in the case of my own story (love your idea for it anyway lol!) I might get some one else to direct but I will be looking over it lol.

One of my favorite directors is Quentin Tarantino (he a great influence on me personally and professionally) His struggle to break in the industry as a poor video clerk (wasnt able to go to film school but had a immense passion for movies) and determination and persisitance really inspired me. He also showed me how to follow your dreams and do things your way lol!

I wanted to also jump into the modeling world but I really not sure how it'll play out as my love of writing and directing is a bit strong.

Hey AstraAngel had a pretty good day but a funny little thought came across my mind after a series of events that started to bother me a little.

I was wondering why I am so lonely right now. Ive been in TX for about a year now-I feel Ive made alot of emotional changes for the better but nothing really prospers down here honestly. I miss my old friends who basically moved on with thier lives (they all live out of state and go to college) I know and respect that they have their own lives but I do get sad sometimes I havent talked to them in months only because I feel Ive outgrown them and slightly embarrased about where I am in my life-I havent been able to start my college journey yet but really trying to get money to do so. I dont have any friends here, Ive been dumped by a jerk who is getting tons of money and happily moving on like I never even mattered (he is a drug dealer and I work hard and barely gain anything!) and I dont get my chance to hurt him by living well (yes I still hold a grudge or am slightly upset about it but maybe Im just speaking like this because Im sad?)

Ive outgrown everyone but I miss them because I miss having comaderie and friends. I really havent gotten close to anyone here in TX and I feel like Im very misunderstood. I cry sometimes and I like my solitude alot but I get very lonely. And lots of things have happened to me in my life where it takes me a long time to get comfortable or trust anyone or when I do (and even when I get comfortable with someone quickly) I get very hurt.

And plus I hate to say this, its really hard for me to pray for someone that hurt me (esp my ex) but I do because Im a great person and try to believe the best in people even when I see the ugliness but why should I do that when they can care less about me?

I am still pondering your situation... when i have more for you i will reply. You are on the right path though, stay focused on your movie work. Friends will come when it is the right time, my guess is that you need to be alone right now to get your head straight on your art (movie work). Artists can live somewhat lonely lives sometimes, you may nee to get used to that. Come with the turf. You will have a close friend down there in TX soon though, so hang in there. As for the praying for those who hurt you, it is a good habit to get into. Jesus told us to do that. It keeps you clear inside so you have less chance to harbor resentments, unforgiveness which can be an impediment to blessings.

Stay strong, subscribe to every movie scriptwriting/directing journal/magazine you can, surround youself with your dream, live in it and you will be there before you know it.

Your second movie: "How I learned to be a super successful movie director and screen writer even though I had hardly any friends, got dumped on, and lived in Texas" Directed and written by Asia118x. By the way that would be a cool director name for you! If I went to a movie and saw that name come up as the director, i would say to myself that is different - I would notice that! Are you filming now? Do you have a cam? Go find something and start making movies tomorrow. There are films sometimes made with super low budgets and a handycam. there are afordable cams out there today that are shooting in HD. Check it out.

Oh, and a little talisman for you. Take some pieces of paper and write "35mm" real big on them with a magic marker, and tape those all over your home. Every time you walk by and see that, you pause and lift your voice to heaven and give thanks that you are a director and screenwriter (35mm being what they shoot in I believe).

You're right thank you AstraAngel! I was just having a down day my emotions can be rather intense and get the best of me at times sorry about that! I have alot of positive energy and lots going for me-I don't know why I spend time pondering about the negatives. Have a great one Astraand by the way Asia118X is cool but my real name is pretty fresh and original too can really seperateme from the rest lol

Astra Angel I hate to spread some deep hatred but I have alot of dark emotions towards my mother as much as I love and adore her for being there for me very much. I have alot of unchannled and intense resentment towards her that I am growing tired of surpressing. Its mainly about her taking out her frustrations on us at times (I totally understand and accept it but it really hurts) and her getting back (I feel she will) and even dealing with my abusive father that we ran away from. The emotions and reasons why I feel them are too deep to explain and its eating me alive! She gets very defensive and is very sensititve and takes things the wrong way because in my eyes she can be a control freak but she is also has alot going on with her and I feel really bad that I cant help her as much as I try but she seems hurt seeing me hurt so I try my best to please but it is really tearing me apart. Do you have any cards on this issue?

What are my feelings towards my mother?

Why are these resentments getting stronger even while I love and care for her dearly?

Why do I feel I want nothing to do with my father and mother sometimes?