CarnEvil

Monday, September 29, 2008

My love for her has left me with a sense that time has become deranged.sometimes i am carried along by currents of love between fantasies and actuality,between "then" and "now" with amazing ease.caught between him and her,i don't know what it is to be happy :(

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

poetic eruptions inside
have crossed the breaking point
love songs are solace for abandoned heart
shattered spirits
they sleep around to forget
forced through this rain,a lonely soul
drenched down again
frozen heart
burning in the pain
fed up, exhausted, and devoid
need understated strength of coffee
and unuttered agreement
to watch the falling raindrops
her face her eyes and her stare
aimless and dreamlike
forced through this rain,a lonely soul

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

college for me has been boring after my graduationbut my stay there has taught me to appreciate the fundamentals of timethere is art for dealing with the boredom of 6 hours of collegethe art of putting your mind somewhere elsewhile the seconds slowly tick away.All the people who are bored here have perfected their own individual art.take meI know rule number 1"the watch is the enemy"the basic rule is this...the more you look at the watch the slower the time goes.you have to uncover the hiding place of your mind and stay there every secondthis is the basic art in dealing with your boredom in college

then there's "Rajiv Ghai"rajiv thinks of himself as a sincere studenti think of him a sheep as i think of all the other classmatesyou see in first sem Rajiv complained to our HODand the poor guys internal marks were slashed for thatRajiv is on the back foot ever sincenever complains just does what they tell him to

Manish is also a sheepNow,Manish and Rajiv are good friendsbetween them they have come up with a very diff.way of dealing with their time at collegethere's is an art of doing anything thatain't going to hamper their markslike sitting in class or lab

college management's theory is that even though they can't control methey can control all others coz they know that they won't say a thing,they fear for their marksso i am the only opposition they faceand i am very painful pain in ass ;D

the decision is always an easier oneif i agree or if i don't object then they are so happybut when i object they win ultimately but they know they didn't win over me

the art of doing something else other than what your are supposed to do is so addictive...i am supposed to go to collegei don'ti am supposed to respect these teachersi don't i am supposed to follow rulesi don'ti am supposed to be behave like everyone elsei don'tit's just the excitement of doing something u shouldn't be doing along with the consequences you may face once you do it are so strong that it often pulls me away from everything else

i usually get reported for what they call"coming to college after 2 months" :DIt is the stupid teachers and their low intelligencethat sends me on these quests.But i know what i am capable of and what i can do.and i know that they know that too ;D .

****P.S.****Mom's away for 10 days in Punjabit's gonna be party time each night at home ;Dgoing to have some drinks after a gap of two yearsthis is gonna be fun.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Guys don't pull my leg for this post.This is what was going through my mind in March this year.

I was always thinking about her,with someone else,it felt like someone was trying to strangle me.someone told me to delete all her pics,i tried,selected the folder, pressed the appropriate button,a message window appeared but I clicked "No".

I just couldn't fall asleep anymore.The more i tried to sleep,the less tired i feltI was wide awake.I tried everything.I've had become immune to sleep.I suddenly found i had 8 extra hours.My life had been extended by a third.i wanted to pass the time quickly but instead i was forced to watch the passing by of every minute & every hour.I stopped going out and taking calls,i house-arrested myself.I was so low-down and out.i wanted the hurt that i felt to go away but in some cruel trick of eventsi had even more time in my hands--more time to think about her.

sometimes i sat on the roof i watched the landscapes slowly change as it clung to last hour of sunlight.before leaving me to yet another sleepless night

Then i started to read all the books i wish i had time to read with the extra hours i even had time to re-read my fav ones but she was never far from my mind.

i could feel a faint shift in a faraway placea current of unknown consequences was on its waymoving towards me like an unstoppable wave in stormy sea

it was getting obvious that i needed to do something with this time.So on 3rd april i decided to start blogging as a gift to myself on my B'day ;D During the time most normal ppl are sleeping.i was busy killing my time,i gave net my extra eight hours and it gave me rain ville.

* Present Day *it's raining for last 34 hours heavilythis is the haunting period.the time when demon of regrets comfort you.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

1.messenger of the misery wandering in darknessNights without morningslike a parasitefeeding on my soulrains of fire,icy cold waves hitting my heartburning and freezingat the same timehow do you describe this feeling??

2.something in me not respondingnot breathingnot throbbingnot feelingnot healingit's somethingfor lovefor gracefor rainfor paini plead for it to choose& set me free to flylive or die i crylive or die i cry

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I just saw the news about delhi blasts.20 dead till now in 45 minutes.And SIMI takes responsibility.It was their operation..bastards...they call it "BAD".I am so enraged at these fuckfaced ppl right now.Ceedy also talked about 9/11 in his latest post.it's a shame just because ppl wear clothing different and follow a diff. religion they want to kill them in the name of their GOD..assholes.Who slaughters an innocent life and then calls themselves a warrior of God? An psychologically unstable piece of shit. You can scream "Praise Allah" all you fucking want, but in the end, allah(if he exists) is going to send you straight to the fucking pits of hell, where you will fucking burn for eternity, you sorry excuse for a human being. I hope all you fucking terrorists rot.

The Terrorists are a bunch of cowards, they hide behind Women and Children, hide under Hospital Beds, hide in old folks homes, hide under a Woman's Berka. These are brave fighters??? Give me a break. The USA and Israel are Brave fighters. Fighters that have a decent moral conscience.They think they are going to be Martyrs and be surrounded by 72 Virgins, what kind of senseless people are we dealing with here?? I don't hate anyone more deeply in my life. I wanted to stab their eyes, hit them in the forehead with an aluminum baseball bat using all my strength, and sledgehammer red hot iron spikes into their evil brains via the ear.I have never seen worse pieces of shit passing themselves off as human beings in my life. You psychos and those who call you martyrs deserve zero mercy. You terrorists make me support the idea of a nuclear first strike, just to open your sunken, dopey eyes and knock some sense into your dehydrated desert brains.

and who pays fop their actions...innocent ordinary "sharif" people.Just heard from my mom's cousin(she resides in delhi).2-3 kashmir guys who lived on second floor in her building have been taken by the police.My mom was also leaving for delhi tomorrow ....now she won't be for another week.All these hassles because of these shitty people.This is nothing but negligence on the part of intelligence agency. They are not taken to task by Home Ministry. The Minister will just pay the condolences to the suffered families and make the public fool by sweet words. Home Minister should immediately resign and the concerned officer should be taken to task.We are being fooled by the politicans like Mulayam singh, Lalu and paswan. I have always firmly believed in Gandhi's India but now I understand why Nathuram Godse didn't like Gandhi's Policies.What Nathu Ram Godse could foresee in 1947 ,Gandhi just turned a blind eye to that. So our countrymen will have to be careful against this war against India. These incompetent politicians will do nothing except selling their motherland, so our countrymen will have to be vigilant and hunt and weed out the terrorists from within our society.It is high time for the public to getup kick the selfish politican out work for the welfare of Mother India. Make special court for terrorist and simply death penality be awarded who plays with the life of innocent people. Wake up india wake up before it is too late.My condolences to the families of the victims. Its just another day in India. Indian government should not 'react' it should 'act'.I hope people behind "BAD" are caught quickly and sent to hell.amen

Friday, September 12, 2008

saw an picture todayburied under forgotten thoughtsthat day at friend's housewhen we last metit's been 2 years nowI didn't knowthat we will meet for last timesomething about that daysomething about her smilesomething about those eyessomething about her hairsomething about that voicesomething about her facerain,i can almost feel it in my facestrolling down.

-=======================================- There's -=======================================-there’s a snot in the roomthere's the endorphinthere's the body painsthere's a rain drawing nearer there’s a unconventional dream here somewherethere's this speculation about herthere's this sound of raindrops inside and outside.

-==========================================- still here-==========================================-[I went to Rudrapur today,it was raining]

In the malli saw lights warping shadows of herin the faces of girlsshe's still hereshe's playing withinthese pains,slowly they toldsomething inside me unfolds

I thought of that dayfirst practical in collegeand the delay,the night,the bus,and the blanket you engrossed yourself inand all that stolen time

now who should i go talk towho's voice should i fall asleep towho should i call "hitler" //*V smiles*//whom should i sit withwho's lunch should i stealwho's here to help me heal?

leavings of what she was to me still endures.

====P.S.====The awards that i have been given i will be posting them soon and i will announce the lucky receivers too.

It is the most ambitious and expensive civilian science experiment in history, based on the biggest machine that humanity has yet built. It has sparked alarmist fears that it might create a black hole that will tear the Earth apart, and it has triggered two last-minute legal attempts to stop it. And this Wednesday, after almost two decades of planning and construction, the project in question will finally be under way."The first attempt to circulate a beam in the LHC will be made this Wednesday, Sept. 10 at the injection energy of 450 GeV (0.45 TeV). The start up time will be between (9:00 to 18:00 Zurich Time) (2:00 to 10:00 CDT) with live webcasts provided at webcast.cern.ch." .

"As far as we know, a very long time ago there was an enormous amount of energy that suddenly created space and time as we know it," Bob Orr, a physics professor at the University of Toronto, told CTV Newsnet on Tuesday.

"This energy degraded itself into a lot of particles, and these are the particles we see around us that make up matter. So, the stuff that you're made of is quarks and electrons that were produced in this Big Bang."

Beneath the foothills of the Jura mountains, in a network of tunnels that bring to mind the lair of a crazed Bond villain, scientists will fire a first beam of particles around a ring as long as the Circle Line on the London Underground. This colossal circuit, 17 miles (27km) in circumference, is the world’s most powerful atom-smasher, the Dollar 10 billion Large Hadron Collider (LHC), created at CERN, the European particle physics laboratory near Geneva. Some 10,000 scientists and engineers from 85 countries have been involved. In the years ahead it will recreate the high-energy conditions that existed one trillionth of a second after the big bang. In doing so, it should solve many of the most enduring mysteries of the Universe.

This extraordinary feat of engineering will accelerate two streams of protons to within 99.9999991 per cent of the speed of light, so that they complete 11,245 17-mile laps in a single second. The two streams will collide, at four points, with the energy of two aircraft carriers sailing into each other at 11 knots, inside detectors so vast that one is housed in a cavern that could enclose the nave of Westminster Abbey. The detectors will trace the sub-atomic debris that is thrown off by the collisions, to reveal new particles and effects that may never have existed on Earth before. The amount of data expected from the experiments will be so huge, CERN will use 60,000 computers around the world to help calculate the results. It's called the LHC Grid.

One of the first scientific discoveries is likely to concern a theory called supersymmetry. Tejinder Virdee, of Imperial College, London, who leads the Compact Muon Solenoid (CMS) detector team, said: “What supersymmetry predicts is that, for every particle you have a partner, so it doubles up the spectrum. You have a whole new zoology of particles, if you like.”

Theory suggests that if supersymmetry is real, evidence to confirm it should emerge quickly from the LHC, possibly as soon as next year. “If it pops up it’ll be quite easy to see,” Professor Cox said.

Such a discovery might also help to explain dark matter, which is thought to account for much of the missing mass of the Universe. Only about 4 per cent of matter – galaxies and the like – is visible to our telescopes. “In this new zoology, the lightest super-symmetric particle is a prime candidate for explaining dark matter,” Professor Virdee said.

Discovery of theoretical particle called the Higgs boson, which has never been detected, but would help explain why matter has mass. The search for the Higgs could take longer, though it depends on the particle’s mass and thus the energy of the collisions in which it might be found. If it is at the heavier end of the possible range, the discovery could take as little as 12 months. A lighter Higgs would take longer to find, as the particles into which it would decay would also be lighter and harder to track.

Other potential discoveries include evidence for the existence of extra dimensions beyond the familiar three of space and one of time, and the creation of miniature (and harmless) black holes, though these are less probable. “Most of us think we’d be very lucky to find these things,” Professor Cox said.

There are two more detectors. The LHCb will investigate why there is any matter in the Universe at all, while Alice aims to study a mixture known as quark-gluon plasma, which last existed in the first millionth of a second after the big bang.

It is true that the LHC might generate black holes, but these would be minuscule and would decay immediately. As the physicist Michio Kaku has said, the LHC has as much chance of ending the world as it does of producing fire-breathing dragons. Scientists have been using particle collision devices for 30 years without incident but concerns have arisen over the LHC because of its size and power.

A report was written by five CERN physicists, who were told to review a safety assessment written by colleagues in 2003 that also gave the project the green light. “Nature has already conducted the equivalent of about a hundred thousand LHC experimental programmes on Earth – and the planet still exists,” the report says.

The beam will be circulated at injection energy (450GeV) and not accelerated to the design collision energy. Even if they did circulate beam in both directions *and collide them* (a separate activity) the total energy of collision would still be less that half of what the tevatron at Fermilab, USA, has been doing for many years. If *that* were a problem we'd already be

The LHC is one of the most exciting experiments of this or any age, yet the thing most people now know and remember about it is a frivolous half-truth. That is a pretty depressing indication of the value we place on science.

The saner voice of science is shining through, however, as Valerie Jamieson, deputy features editor of New Scientist, explains on her blog.

“Scale the cosmic ray sums up to cover the 100 billion stars in the Milky Way and the 100 billion galaxies in the visible Universe and you find that nature has already made the equivalent of 1,031 LHCs. Or if you like, 10 trillion LHCs are running every second. And we’re still here.”

Hadron This is more than an excuse for a geeky physics joke – “Is that your hadron, or are you just pleased to see me?” Hadrons are particles with mass, made up of quarks that have been bound together

Dark matterOnly about 4 per cent of the Universe is made up of visible matter. Another 25 per cent is “dark matter” – which can be inferred from its gravity, but cannot be seen. The remaining 71 per cent is still more mysterious “dark energy”. The LHC could shed light on what dark matter is, possibly through discoveries about supersymmetry

Extra dimensionsWe are all familiar with four dimensions – three of space and one of time. But some theoretical physicists suggest that there could be as many as 26. Most physicists find these every bit as hard to visualise as normal people, but they make mathematical sense

my predictions... they are going to find out that they were wrong about something.Personally to the utter chagrin of the scientist running the show they are going to prove that String Theory is right after all.

Particle physicists believe they will throw open a new frontier of knowledge on Wednesday when, 100 metres below ground, they switch on a mega-machine crafted to unveil the deepest mysteries of matter.

The most complex scientific experiment ever undertaken, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will accelerate sub-atomic particles to nearly the speed of light and then smash them together, with the aim of filling gaps in our understanding of the cosmos.It may also determine the outcome of novel theories about space-time: does another dimension - or dimensions - exist in parallel to our own?After nearly two decades and 6 billion Swiss francs (.6 billion), an army of 5,000 scientists, engineers and technicians drawn from nearly three dozen countries have brought the mammoth project close to fruition.At 9.30am (1730 AEST) on Wednesday, the first protons will be injected into a 27-kilometre ring-shaped tunnel, straddling the Swiss-French border at the headquarters of the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN).Whizzed to within a millionth of a per cent of the speed of the light, the particles will be the first step in a long-term experiment to smash sub-atomic components together, briefly generating temperatures 100,000 times hotter than the Sun in a microscopic space.Analysts will then pore over the wreckage in the search for fundamental particles."We will be entering into a new territory of physics," said Peter Jenni, spokesman for ATLAS - one of four gargantuan laboratories installed on the ring where a swathe of delicate detectors will spot the collisions."Wednesday is a very major milestone."The LHC is massively-muscled machine compared to its CERN predecessor, the Large Electron-Positron (LEP) collider, and an ageing accelerator at the legendary Fermilab in Illinois.It has the power to smash protons or ions - particles known as hadrons - together at a whopping 14 teraelectron volts (TeV), seven times the record held by Fermilab's Tevatron.The leviathan scale of the project is neatly juxtaposed by its goal, which is to explore the infinitely small.Physicists have long puzzled over how particles acquire mass.In 1964, a British physicist, Peter Higgs, came up with this idea: there must exist a background field that would act rather like treacle.Particles passing through it would acquire mass by being dragged through a mediator, which theoreticians dubbed the Higgs Boson.The standard quip about the Higgs is that it is the "God Particle" - it is everywhere but remains frustratingly elusive.French physicist Yves Sacquin says that heroic work by the LEP and Fermilab has narrowed down the energy range at which the devious critter is likely to spotted.Given the LHC's capabilities, "there's a very strong probability that it will be detected," he said.Some experts are also hopeful about an early LHC breakthrough on the question of supersymmetry.The supersymmetry theory goes way beyond even the Higgs. It postulates that particles in the Standard Model have related, but more massive, counterparts.Such particles could explain the unsettling discovery of recent years that visible matter only accounts for some four per cent of the Universe. Enigmatic phenomena called dark matter and dark energy account for the rest.CERN Director General Robert Aymar is confident the massive experiment will yield a correspondingly big breakthrough in penetrating these mysteries."It is certain that the LHC will yield the identity and understanding of this dark matter," he said in a video statement.CERN has had to launch a PR campaign aimed at reassuring the public that the LHC will not create black holes that could engulf the planet or an unpleasant hypothetical particle called a strangelet that would turn the Earth into a lump of goo.It has commissioned a panel to verify its calculations that such risks are, by any reasonable thinking, impossible, and France too has carried out its own safety probe.Either way, the end of the world will not happen on Wednesday, for the simple reason that the LHC will not generate any collisions that day.These will probably be initiated "in a few weeks" as part of a phased programme to commission the LHC, testing its equipment and evaluating work procedures before cranking it up to full strength, said Jenni.Looking at the daily mountain of data that will have to be analysed, "it will take weeks or months before one can really hope to start discovering something new," he cautioned."The LHC is more than a machine. It is the intellectual quest of our age," the British weekly New Scientist said in this week's issue."With luck... today's physics textbooks will start to look out of date by the end of 2009."

courtesynews.ninemsn.com

some of you may say that it may create a black hole....eheheThey wouldn't just have to create a black hole. They'd have to create a big enough one which didn't just disappear. I think it's highly unlikely. I'm not a particle physicist (I know a bit about it) but I don't honestly believe they'd do something which where it could be very dangerous.it's an amazing experiment, and I cannot wait for the results. Testing has already started, by the way.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I can't find a starting pointto break intothe rain stained heartcan't quite grip, or hold on,I'm not quite awake enough for this dreamthe thoughts and twinkling of the starspromises of sin and spring,the moon that smiles and wont let me sleeptossing and turning in this big black lonely soul,which swallows you wholethey call it the night...reserved for romantic couples and alikemoon is again out along with the windresting my head on it’s shoulderwhispering out painsmy feet turn lameI breathe in a ghost.

A smell of change,felt it on the breezerainy days have passedshe is slipping farlike a raindrop released by the cloudsuch a small price to payto shine like the sunto fly like an albatrossto taste the glory,i will chase what i wanti am the creator,the destroyer,the angel,the devil of my storyI can be the King or the shepherdmy choices,my mistakesis all that it takes.

-=====================================================-THE TAGphoenix tagged me.Thank you.It's my second tag :)-=====================================================-I am - Mr.V,Mr. I Have My Own Plans,Mr. Bad Attitude(in a nutshell i have thousand personalities, thousand tricks up my sleeve,thousand reasons to believe,thousand reasons to lie,thousand reasons to fly,thousand reasons to sleep,thousand reasons to cry,thousand reasons to laugh,thousand reasons to live,thousand reasons to die,thousand reasons to write and thousand reasons to stop ).(*devilish grins* that was totally random..ehehe)

P.S.Got my IELTS resultI got 6.5.I expected more from myself though.Anyways i got it without any coaching or practicing past papers.One of my friend did 1 month coaching and practiced daily.. for what??5.5.I am so happy but i know it could have been better.Don't forget to follow me and become one of my enthusiasts. Take Care and have a nice day :)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Most of you will not like me after this but i have to say what i have to.Before commenting please read previous post i made on this topic along with comments( else just leave) -> Religions

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.Albert Einstein

Most of what we do is governed by whether there's evidence or not to prove it's existence. We claim there are no unicorns or flying garoods because no one was proof of them. We know the world is not flat because there was no proof to prove otherwise, until someone proof was given by sailing around and circumnavigation, and much later through space exploration.It's all about what makes sense.In the same way, there's no way to prove that God exists, the burden of proof is on those who believe in him. If he is here prove that he exists, otherwise he simply doesn't. There's no empirical evidence, without that God believers are just living in matrix.

Ok think about it for a bit. There is some "holy" being who somehow has the massive reserves of energy to create the entire universe. wow, that is so plausible. In some form or another, every civilization that we have records of, have had all forms of different gods or god. From polytheistic to monotheistic, they all believed in something that came after they died. That's all gods and religion really are, humans not wanting to believe that it will end. I'm not necessarily saying all religions are scammers or liars, except scientologists of course, just that they are natural humans giving in to natural human behavior.

some points i make :1. If God created the universe, than the universe must be an artifact (i.e. something that was created) There is no scientific or naturalistic evidence for claim (besides faith which should really count for nothing).

2. To say that God created the universe would be to say that He is the only known uncaused cause. By that, I mean that religious faithful always claim that God has no cause, so why can an atheist not suggest that the original cosmic soup resulting in the big bang was an uncaused cause as well. Apparently God defies the scientific causal principle, and is the only known thing to have done so.

3. God is all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful and yet he permits the suffering of innocence. God knowingly, willingly, and purposely allows the suffering of innocent children on a daily and global basis. This includes, and is not limited to, Darfur, South African apartheid, the Holocaust, poverty, AIDS, the Invisible Children, and so many more. He loves these children, yet witnesses their destruction even though he is powerful enough to intervene.

4. There is no way for humans to transcend language to ascertain the omnipotence of a theistic God. All terms and explanations for God are derived from the human language and is taken as Gospel. How is it possible to transcend this human artifact (i.e. language) to ascertain that there is really a God? We cannot, it is not possible.

5. Religion is the opiate of the masses. Ignorant and close-minded fools are pacified by the "need for salvation" because men are "inherently evil". I choose to disregard these foolhardy comments and embrace the beauty of being human. Humans are naturally weak and suck at the tit of those powerful tyrants who have always oppressed them, from biblical times to the present scenario. Religion is nothing but a controlling technique that limits true empirical evidence by manipulative and harmful means. This is why religiosity yields war, and those who are stupid enough to follow are slaughtered by the thousands in the name of some higher power (God, Allah or many of the other synonyms)

On a final note, if I am incorrect and this is, after all, God's world which is a deciding factor for His eternal life, I would rather have no part of it. If the best God can create is a dysfunctional melting pot of sin, suffering and violence, than I am more than content to disown myself as a child of God. He could make all believe in Him at the drop of a hat....Why not try me then?

faith definition

here is a definition from one online dictionary1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.5. a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith.6. the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.: Failure to appear would be breaking faith.7. the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one's promise, oath, allegiance, etc.: He was the only one who proved his faith during our recent troubles.8. Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.

In a nutshell...to belief without having any evidence to justify it.

Interesting how there is a very linear correlation between education/intelligence and rejection of mythologies to explain the world. Interesting how the religious will not hesitate to take their sick loved one to a hospital for the best medical technology which is a byproduct of science and rationalism. Interesting how scripture is loaded with violence and intolerance, conveniently ignored (by most) to focus on the nice parts. Interesting that no religious leader is willing to take on the atheist intellectuals (Dawkins, Hitchens etc) in a debate.Belief in a supernatural deity is a cultural artifact of our history; very understandable origins. It's now well past the time for it to go.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?Then he is not omnipotent.Is he able but not willing?Then he is malevolent.Is he both able, and willing?Then whence cometh evil?Is he neither able nor willing?Then why call him God?

the majestic sway of grassvacuity of lapsing dayslike eyelids coming down

a lunaticsinging and listeningthose love songs

even the moon appear lethargicparticularly in deceased nighta nonexistent commitmentlike the thrilling quality of these twinkling points of lightlike the ornament of pain in the rainsomething in what the darkness does to these twinklerssomething in what the rain does to the heart.

-==========-{Number Two}-==========-

the juice of loveand he drank itin those daysthe memorable oneshe used to weepthe way people weepwhen tortured insidegrasping,fightingfinding the waystill hasn't stopped

-=====================-{TaLKs with subconsciousness}-=====================-

I am standing upI am listeningI have been low for too long nowI was lost in his dreamstime to reclaim myself from himit's time for transitionthe ideas are glistening

sub:" You are weakling."Me:"I know i am.so what..ever1 is."sub:"I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be?"Me:"I'm tired of this one sided relationship. It doesn't matter what went wrong, because frankly, nothing did... That is just it; Nothing did...! So, I'm cutting all ties; no more thoughts on her or the non-existing relationship. I'm going to move on and think of all the other possibilities out there; people, places and things to do. It's been nice knowing her and if our paths cross again, then so be it... Life must go on... No worries...its been many a moon!!!"sub:"Simple maybe, but not easy. "Me: "i can try.."sub:"If only I could be sure you're as honest as you sound, but then with a collar around your neck... it's hard to tell whether your throat's blushing from passion or deceit. You should stop and be ashamed of what you are doing. The dignity of your love is at stake."Me:"Do not mistake my love for your pride. Do not be afraid of the truth, if you don't want to be a slave."sub:"The truth will kill you! "Me:"It will set you free. "sub:"You know, fuck you... I guide you so don't give me any crap! "Me:"I'm not scared of you."sub:"You really shouldn't have said that."Me:"you've got to relax."sub:"Don't you tell me to relax, goddammit!You're a coward.You don't talk to me like that. You understand, traitor?"Me:"I understand the kind of pressure you're under. Only unfulfilled love can be romantic."sub:"No, you are in the dark where a sword is just a long knife. you'll beg for me to guide you to light."Me:"I prefer the dark."sub:"what's the matter? You ain't scared?"Me:"Of course I'm not scared."sub:"Picture this,You have no real family, you're on the wrong side of 30, childless and alone. Somebody close to you said " it's over for you now."Me:"Somebody said they were close to me? "sub:"I can't help you now.one day you'll be a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That's physics. It's inevitable. "Me:"Till that day i will live with no regrets..taking on anything that comes my way.You will watch me conquering each and every obstacle on the path.Join me and i'll take you on a roller coaster ride."sub:"I won't push you..."Me:"Yeah, I'd appreciate that. "

Now, the only person who could make a difference before, will make a difference again! yeah you guessed it right that person is ME!

-===========-{My D3SKTOP}-===========-Downed it from Deviant some 5-months backhaven't felt the need to change it.it's so unique...i love it.

-============-{Favorite Quotes}-============-1.The great essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. — Unknown.

2.Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

3.what's the craziest thing you've done lately?

4.If you argue correctly you are never wrong.

5. It's so easy to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love. But it's not always easy to recognize love, even when we already hold it in our hands. Would you go for someone who loves you but for you he's only a friend or would you rather go for someone you love but for him you're only a friend? You have to give him a second chance because you love him. And because whoever said that "plenty of fish in the sea" thing was lying. Sometimes, there is only one.

6.Love? It's kinda complicated but I'll tell you this... the second you're willing to make someone else happy, that's love right there! Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love coz you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall. Just when you think you've got it all figured out, you do the dumbest thing you possibly could... you fall in love.

7."In certain extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue... natural justice.This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it's an emotional response. No. Not vengeance. Punishment."

There are more i like but for now i think seven are enough !!!

BtW this was my first tag and i loved it.Hope you guys enjoyed my talks with my subconsciousness!I am tagging Gagan,Preeti,Phoenix,hope,cinderella. and Mayz.