Video: Paul Ryan Needs To Disclose His Abs To The American Public

A video currently going around the Internet demands that Republican VP candidate Paul Ryan address the single, burning question that’s currently on everyone’s minds: what do his abs look like?

Paid for by “Pecs for Votes USA Action Patriots Freedom PAC,” the video shows some clips of people on softball political talk shows discussing how much Paul Ryan works out, and then some liberal commentators talking about how he needs to disclose something. That “something” obviously being his abs. Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, and even Joe Biden have shown us what they’re working with, so why is Ryan so damn hesitant?

Of course, this is a satirical video, so the writers get little digs in at Ryan’s actually rather pernicious agenda with lines like “Americans wanna have your baby…and if you’re elected, they’ll probably have to no matter what” and ”will Granny have to die without social security, Medicare, or Paul Ryan in her spank bank?” The ways this guy wants to dismantle our social safety net while simultaneously restricting personal liberties for everyone but corporations is not really too funny, at all. That said, his terrible ideas would go down a tiny bit smoother if he would just show us some of his ripped, creamy, man-flesh. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, HUH?