John Oliver Came Up With A Perfect Plan To Improve The Awful Image Of New York’s Port Authority

Fishs Eddy, a New York retailer that sells dishes, cups, and bowls featuring cartoonish renditions of NYC’s skyline and landmarks, ran into trouble with the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey last week. The agency’s attorney claims the kitchenware retailer using the city’s visual assets “interferes with the Port Authority’s control of its own reputation.”

The Port Authority’s sudden concern over its reputation (and chickensh*t method for protecting it) is laughable on its own. But leave it to John Oliver and the Last Week Tonight crew (with an assist from Colin Quinn) to hammer home the hilarity with an image control suggestion of their own: a commemorative plate highlighting the “assets” of New York’s famously awful Port Authority Bus Terminal.

It’s been a couple years since I’ve traveled by bus and made my way through New York, but I never had a problem with it. That could be that I’m just an annoying tourist and find everything “neat”, though.

I think if you just pass through quickly, you probably dont notice the horror. It’s when your bus is late, or you cant find your bus, or you’re walking around late at night, or when you find yourself in a weird remote corner of the maze of hallways that you start to put the whole picture together. I recommend using the 9th Ave entrance in the rear to get the full experience.

There’s no having a “nice day” when your morning starts with pretending you dont see the crackhead blowjob in the doorway or the river of shit streaming out of someone’s pants as they ask you for gummy worms (both of which have happened to me in only the past month). If you must use it, just keep your head down and walk exactly where you have to go. Don’t explore. Explore Grand Central.