Three days before our Christmas break. Professors were shoving us reading assignments and portfolios to do during the break but the students were already in their vacation mode. Kaunti na lang din ang pumapasok dahil ang iba ay umuwi na sa kani-kanilang probinsya o kaya nag-out-of-the-country.

What the heck? What did I even do to save them? Those two are seriously tiresome.

I was about to search for the book that my professor wanted us to read but I stopped midway when I saw Katrina between the shelves, achingly looking at Iñigo chasing Queenie. Her gaze shifted at my direction and for a moment, I saw the Katrina I once knew. She tried hard to hold back her tears but in the end, she couldn’t. Mabilis siyang naglakad palayo at sinundan ko naman siya.

“I hate them,” she muttered and I could feel the pain an d hatred in her words.

“Because they left you alone. I know. I absolutely know that feeling.”

“How would you know?” she sneered. “You’re living an easy life, Chloe. You’ve got all you need in life in your hands. Beauty, money, family . . . everything. You already have everything.”

“I don’t.”

“Huh. What a joke—”

“I, too, was abandoned by my parents for years.” I had to breathe deeply to calm myself but I already felt a lump in my throat. “I have money? Yes, a lot, but even that, couldn’t buy their time. The only time both of them paid me a visit was when they wanted to let my siblings, whom I never met nor knew they existed, live with me. That’s why I know where you are coming from. Because I hated my parents, too.”

Narinig ko ulit siyang umiyak pero this time, mas naramdaman ko ang sakit. I wanted to comfort her but I couldn’t move from here. My tears had already betrayed me and I don’t want her to see me crying.

I think children from a broken family, abusive parents and those who got abandoned have the deepest and nastiest scars. Parents should be their children’s home, their safe haven, however, for these children, going home is the most frightening and lonely journey they have to take everyday. And in the end, their hearts would only know hatred and desolation toward their parents because those were what they felt from their eyes and their words.

“You want someone who won’t leave you like your parents but Iñigo isn’t that person. His love isn’t for you, Katrina.”

“Then whose love is for me?” she wept. “I didn’t feel my parents’ love. My friends just love me because I’m at the top now. The only one who always worries about me is Jazer.”

Bumigat naman ang pakiramdam ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan niya. He’s always by my side and he became my shield when I don’t want the world to see my weakness. I’m really thankful because he was my support for the past few months but I don’t want to drag him down to my own problems any further. I don’t have the luxury to like someone when my own family is slowly crumbling.

Yes, I like him and he’s special to me but I know that he already has someone he loves. Before he knew me, there was Katrina.

“Then maybe he’s what you need. He’s your treasure, right?”

Before she could reply to my statement, I already stood up and marched away from her because I knew I wouldn’t like her answer.

***

Christmas break came and both Nanay Meling and Kuya Larry wanted to delay their vacation because of us but I didn’t let them.

“I can cook,” I stated and they both looked at me as if I just said a joke. “Instant food,” I added.

“Diyos ko po, hindi ko talaga kayo pwedeng iwan—”

“Seriously, Nanay Meling, think about your own family this vacation. They need you more,” sabi ko at natahimik siya. “You, too, Kuya Larry. Your parents are waiting for you at home, right?”

Along with Nanay Fe, they took care of me since I was young and even sacrificed some of their personal time to be with me. I was alone the past fifteen Christmas Day but I was also glad that their own children weren’t, although I had to admit, I was envious.

“Pwede namang magpa-deliver ng food or kumain sa labas. I can take care of myself now and I will take care of them,” I assured them and I was surprised when Nanay Meling suddenly cried. Even Kuya Larry’s eyes were moist with tears.

Pumunta naman ako kina Czanelle at Clark. Nakadungaw silang pareho sa may bintana habang sinusundan ng tingin sina Nanay Meling at Kuya Larry. It was hard to convince them that they would not be around for a couple of weeks.

Bigla namang napakunot ang noo ko sa narinig ko. Hearing that familiar voice made me more confused. I looked at Jazer for an explanation but with the grin pasted on his face, it seemed like he already expected my reaction.