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Love and pain go together, period!

Goodbye 2013

This past year has sucked for me. Started out with a friend/student of mine being murdered at 2:30 in the morning of January 1st, and has ending with a “punch” from someone I once loved with all my heart. btw… that punch hit me in the middle of a black ice field and I landed hard on my right hip and can walk only with my walker at this point… remind me to never fall in love with a witch again, they hit too fuckin hard.
So getting ready to start 2014 with a fresh slate, a hole in my heart, and a divorce right around the corner. I hope that all goes well and I have made a final decision… I will never marry again, too much for me to handle, maybe a relationship somewhere down the line but that is all, no rings, no fingers, no pressure.

I am wishing all of you, whoever you are, a much better year in 2014 and good luck to you all…

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5 responses to “Goodbye 2013”

Reblogged this on The words you never hear… and commented:
Love takes courage, faith, dedication and trust – it is the most difficult thing in the world to keep safe from what the fear of the unknown can do. If it is real it can feel as though it rips a whole through you and leaves you raw, exposed – vulnerable. Love is fierce, alive and terrifying in it’s power. It is the greatest gift a human being can ever give to another and it is worth everything and anything to preserve, protect and nurture. Love is the power of God moving through the universe, changing and shaping everything it touches – it transforms all, can heal all and can be all.
I love you – that will never change. You have changed me – I never want to be the way I was before we met – I am who I am at this moment because you changed me. Thank you. Love, L.

My writings all started due to a love that I had and lost and by one that was being created that I will never have, and of course there is the one that has always been there that I need to say goodbye to, a n d the one that I so want to be with, it hurts me not to be.
It contains language that is not suitable for everyone so beware of that fact when you read this. Yes, I tend to curse a lot, and yes I get abusive in my words and yes I tend to write in poetic form, sort of.
Understand that I was hurting badly when I started this and when that happens whatever gets said is out of pain and frustration… mine, not yours.
I also write about myself, my feelings, emotions, hardships, health, and happiness, if any ever shows up again. My hope is that I don’t offend anyone, even though I know I will.
Remember that all of this is about my life, in my words, and my feelings, and how good and bad it gets during love and breaking up, and living life.

What do you want from freedom?

I want to be able to speak the truth always

I want from it the freedom to never have to hide from anything or anyone

I want to be able to speak freely without having to pre think what I am about to say

I want to be able to respond with truth to whatever is said to me even if it is hard on the other person to understand…

It should give me the ability to explain myself if am misunderstood, cry if I feel the need, love when the time is right, and never, ever fear the person I love