We’ve all been there. We’ve had an experience or a situation that has taken us from our “happy place” into one of despair and misery. Sometimes it can last a day, other times weeks, months and in extreme cases years. None of us are immune to things happening that we can’t control, but how we handle it is up to us.

I have certainly had occurrences where the questions, “Really God?!” and “Why me?!” has crossed the threshold of my mouth and what I have learned is that while those may be the times I feel least like having and expressing my gratitude, those are the times that I most need to go deep and find it. So, I’ve come up with a few tips to get to that place of having gratitude even when you don’t feel so grateful.

Firstly, step outside of yourself. That means stop making everything about you for a bit and focus on someone else. Give some of your time and energy to another person who could use your help or love. One way to do this is by volunteering. It is amazing how not only helping other people puts things in perspective with regard to your own life and circumstances, but it also gives you the reciprocal gift of feeling love and connection to another human being- something definitely to feel grateful for.

Next, just watch the news, even better news that covers things that are happening in other parts of the world. While this may strike a chord, because sadly so much of what is covered by the news is negative, seeing how other people’s lives are being affected in your own backyard and on the other side of the world can certainly help you qualify and classify what you’re dealing with which can in turn give a sense of gratitude.

Lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a human being. We all have ups and down; some downs are significant and life altering while other downs simply throw us off track for a bit. This isn’t about feeling bad for the sake of feeling bad – what good does that do? But when you are in the valley of disappointment and depression, start making your list. Your list of what you can be grateful for. You may feel at first like you’re pulling it out of where the sun don’t shine, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are taking a positive and progressive step toward being in a place of gratitude.

Here’s what I know about living in gratitude. The more we can express our gratitude, the more God/The Universe hears us and gives us more to be grateful for. It’s part of that wild Law of Attraction thing. So, the real key is to just get started and make it a habit; every day come up with 5 things for which you are grateful and just watch how that list magically expands.

If you’re not sure where to begin here’s a list that you can borrow from until you can create your own.