A straight-shooting Westchester resident recently received a primo special delivery at his home last night. New Rochelle police detective Joseph Schaller tells LoHud.com the man opened a FedEx package to discover “two large plastic bags of marijuana worth about $500.” So he did what any normal person would do when confronted with a big fat bag of weed in the privacy of his or her own home—he rolled a giant doobie and fired up the DUNE laserdisc called the cops.

Safe to say this guy is probably a huge fan of crushed upside-down blue solo cups. Just awful to see such a charitable gesture go to waste like this.