Sunday, 20 September 2015

A beautiful ray of bliss was captured while having breakfast with sista and browder.

Was wandering in Daiso Mid Valley Megamall when Nicky told me that Dudu was able to speak, last night. Until today(while I was having a break from this blog post, Nicky sent me a photo showing Dudu was able to joke and speak to the visitors: Nasrol, Kak Fai, Mama Bear and another friend of his.) Such a great news to everyone and a very delightful relief, don't ya think so?

A very blissful picture sent by Kak Fai to Nicky.

Dudu's accident was a very heart-aching news to us. It happened on the day I was hit with another heartbreaking (perhaps?). Falling down from the stairs with unstable grip on the rope caused Dudu to be taken to Hospital Ampang immediately and was in a very critical situation. By the time I was told on this, the first thing I went to his Facebook. That morning at 3 am we were still receiving his Whatsapp message regarding on ICE. 5 hours later he posted a picture showing he himself and a few comrades locating at the top of abandoned Highland Tower. Thought of "What the hell is he doing in that abandoned and dangerous place?" came up to my mind. Various scary and fearful pictures flash over my eyes and suddenly I felt so painful. We all know how he could always be distracted with his handphone and camera. That's why.

Okay, put aside on the friendship chapter. All we know is Dudu is a very passionate photographer and fine art artist. The period he went to Schlumberger for his Internship, he told us in Whatsapp group that he has lots of stories to tell us. Well you have better back on track, you promised us to be our cameraman on convocation okay. Hahas. We can imagine how he could fell down in a circumstance that all his roommies and cousins who were walking ahead him were safe and sound. Only him was hit with mishap. Brain injury isn't a trivial matter.

It is a very heart aching news when you know your friend is lying agonizing in the wad. I was fear and worried. It reminds me on a traumatized experience on my lost of friend years ago in High School. A very kind hearted Indian friend of mine, Tanusha. I remember how I crossed my fingers tightly, stood beside her cold body, speechless and fear with feelingless face all along the way back to HS.
(Blog post on late Tanusha on http://dodoeyeris.blogspot.my/2011/07/tanusha.html)

We pray that Dudu is safe. Nicky and I then keep each other in the loop. But somehow we did not want to annoy the others like Kak Mei Mei and Abg Kery who went to visit Dudu. All we could do is wait and pray and plan if there is a chance, Nicky would come down from Kota Bahru and I will go up to Ampang. Many of our friends were asking in shocked after seeing my picture in Facebook and Instagram, how could it happened?They were shocked. Many friends of Dudu came along to visit him and keep the others updated. Kak Mei Mei was one of the messengers for Nicky and I. Sincerely thank to her for being a helpful sis.

Now he is able to speak. Rest assured this is positive, isn't it?

What came into my mind was when we were sitting in the canteen of SMK Tatau, Bintulu in the past April. He came and called me to get back my seat, "Makan dulu, jangan gila kerja boleh tak?" Followed by the laughter of Nicky, Fredo, Boy and Nisa. That was the time when we all got to know more about he himself whereby he is always seen as a happy-go-lucky person.

I laughed in bliss. The bond between me, Nicky, Dudu, Fredo, Nisa and Boy(Flona) were established tightly during a voluntary programme UNIMAS Gives Back: Youth of Borneo 2.0. No offense, believe it or not, we name each other "Nok" and Dudu could be the head of the group since he is always the most annoying one, hahas!

Back to the time when I know Dudu was in 2013 when we were both involved in Minggu Aluan Pelajar 2013/14 under Bunga Raya College. He was always neatly dressed-up in the morning and came down with his Crocs green signature sling bag everyday during MAP. Together with other team members he contributed so much especially in helping BRC to defend the victory of BRC in statue building. The LOs were awesome and indeed, Nang Antap. It was my first time being LO under Abg Salihin and Abg Norsyam as well as Kak Mei Mei.Very precious moments. That was the time I got to know Dudu. But the real bond was rebuilt even better since Y.O.B 2.0 and we all created so much memories after MAP 2014/15.

He started to mess around with us on the first day of Y.O.B 2.0 road trip.

This was taken at Serian.

Dudu is always the camera mastermind. You don't have to worried that you would be left out of nice remembrance.

During our trip Oya Homestay at Mukah, he sat in the living room with his lappy, editing the photos. A joy maker indeed.

To a certain extent, we could say he is a very crazy friend Hahas! He grabbed us for this series of photo shooting, occupying the middle passage of entire coconut plantation and told us to change our Facebook profile picture. The winner was determined by the one with highest click of Like.

We ended all works at SMK Tatau, Bintulu after a week of voluntary work.

At SMK Julau. It was the first school we visited on the first night. Excitement and perfection arouse in my mind, wanting to accomplish my obligation. Being the main organizer, I was very proud of them that they were always with me, despite they have akin or even more similar experience than I do. All of us were/are LOs and very experienced event organizers/participants. This is how we learn from each other. They would stand by me, waited for me whenever I was away to make arrangement for the team. That is why, group photos are always six of us. Except.... Boy who always busy around with his anak hayam. HAHAHAS!

And how he became the scandal with our driver, Spencer. Hahas!

Writing about Dudu is a way to pray for him while all his Muslim friend are having their way of prayer for him. And everyone's prayer was heard. Dudu is getting positive today, he is such a strong person. So you say the concept of One Malaysia does not need to be too hardcore, we never bother who you are when it comes to problem and mishap. What we mind is humanity.

Fredo and Boy are Iban, Nicky is a Siam-Kelantanese Malay and Dudu is a Malay. Nisa is a Sarawakian Malay. But wait, what ethnics you are is never an issue, honestly I am still unsure on some friend's ethnicity. Shall we make friend without knowing what ethnic they are? This is what supposed to be! We are different in age and field but when we are gathered to accomplish a task or to share, we walk in a line. From Civil Engineering to Plant Science to International Economics to Art Management and Anthropology & Sociology until Fine Art, when we are under one roof, we talk in our language.

Well, what life teaches us is to learn from everything. Dudu's incident tells us many many debris of lesson. One of the most important messages is, please treasure your life. Everyone in our life gives a significance to us, regardless of whether you are close to him/her. One once told me, to define whether you are [closed] to a person, isn't measured by time but by the quality. Some friends could be good friends though knowing each other for a year, but some ten-year friends aren't good friends either. A pity? Nope, all it needs is just some league and kick when confronting with the person in your pupil.

Whatever it is, what concerns me the most is how you perceive on the term [friend], no matter who is it, you would definitely feel a ripple of unwell and heart ache when any form of misfortune hit on any acquaintance around you. Perhaps no for you, but at least a yes for me. Empathy and sympathy are different things.

Friday, 21 August 2015

Another phase of my life journey was taken an oath today. A decision was made and the talk was walked. A step of next milestone was started.

Yesterday was a dream, today is a result. How many times the debris of words playing in my mind, telling me : Don't give up your dream just to please a person.

The night I cried by the roadside, a lady came out from her massage shop, looked at me and passed me a box of facial tissue. How blessed I was, looking at her and I smiled. I stood up after a cry war and self struggle, walked to her and said, "Mdm, Thank you,". The moment I walked in the dark and busy route, my heart was struggling, very very painful.

I have been losing myself, to please the authorities. When everyone is telling to be "a little bit mean" and "bad", I asked myself, why should I tell myself to do so?

" Because you are way too kind."

They whispered to me. My mommy, and the person I talked to when I cried and walked without knowing where should I head to. "You are just a kind girl," said the two ladies.

To a certain extent, I do not know if I am good enough, after all people saying " Good job, Iris!" to me. Those times I was devalued, I felt helpless, hopeless and selfless. I have never living the life I want. This is not a romanticized saying but a cruel bloody truth.

The
moment I shivered and ran out from the roar of blaming and screaming
upon me, I couldn't feel myself. The feeling was interesting and
strange. Stop scolding me, stop scolding me, I repeated.

I
wanted to be a bad girl, that night. Thinking of staying at McDonald
but wasn't sure whether it is a 24-hours McD. I regretted to be a good,
kind girl in those days when we were supposed to be rebellion.

Blacky the pretty cat cheers me up every morning, giving me a bling of smile from the bottom of my heart. Feeding her biscuits looking at her, is such a beautiful memory to me.

Everytime I talk to people, I feel happy, even they are rude or impolite to me. Really happy. Times like that I train myself to hold back all kinds of temper or anger, but to talk back or write back nicely. Time gives me a precious growth in talking to others learning to look at the beautiful part of others, but I ended up being the most nothing-at-all victim. Well, at least I look at the world with a beautiful heart.

An open-minded person, should have a open heart too. Open minded doesn't mean westernized, Americanized or whatnot. It is how you look at others with a beautiful heart.

This tough decision of mine, will be a tough journey. Go on, Iris. There's no way back.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

A lil reason to be happy when I finally get the chance to treat myself a nasi lemak at such morning stall. Gerai tepi jalai. Suddenly I asked myself: "Why the thrifty life? Eat something full, Iris." (But right after this I bought myself bread for tmr's lunch. Useless.)

Mommy used to buy me in all Malay stalls when I was in hometown and I miss that shoo much. Here,this is the first time I see an Indian pretty kind kakak selling. Look at the Indian utensil jag and many types of dhal curry. So I treat myself with a typical nasi lemak with telur goreng. I said sorry for I dont have a small note.

Then I walked far away to another grocery shop to purchase for two breads. After I got the change I told the uncle with my silly polite smile,may I get one ringgit instead of green RM 5 note cos I wanna take bus. He smiled and said Okayy no problem (with his head shaking hahas). Then I walked back crossing the beautiful flowery road with two young browder sweeping the pinky flowers and they smiled in bliss when I gave them a smile with appreciation, back to pay the kakak for my nasi lemak.

The beautiful pink flowers fall from the trees, accompanied by a pine tree behind them.

A taxi driver who was having his "self-service" by the stall taking white dhal,smiled at me and said "Yes?Anything?"

When I reached office and came out to feed Blacky the black cat with biscuits, the Indian aunty and Chinese uncle passed by and smiled politely,

Everyone looks so kind today. People are beautiful this morning. Even the bus driver nodded his head contentedly when I told him thank you, being the last person who got down the bus and the only one who said "Terima kasih bg."

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Having
the 730pm T530 bus from Sri Muda back to Kota Kemuning has become their
daily routine. Befriend with all RapidKL drivers and talk around.
Sometimes the white shirt smart casual with Jeans and brown shoes
handsome very fatherly-look uncle call me to get up to the bus, with
very cool style.

I remember during my first ride in that bus from a
totally strange place to another totally strange
destination via a extremely strange road like a zombie ride,I was
telling myself this is an opportunity to learn. Ask. So, after some
distance, of course am sure I was in the right bus, I asked him when he
was going to get down at AEON Big section 32. I asked him in Mandarin,

"Excuse me,Uncle, Jalan Anggerik is somewhere nearby here right?"

"Anggerik? Anggerik depan. "

Till today, this was the second time he asked me, "Do you speak Mandarin?" "Yes, I do."

Today he added some more lil questions which he seldom want to (because
I was just arrived in the rain and I greeted him), like

"You know
Hokkien and English?"

"Yes I do."

And then he told his friend with
an artist hat, "You may just speak English to her what." Very friendly
smart uncle, a retired man or what idk. Have been living in KK for 15
years. Looking at them, I feel like they have a painting in them, with
many colours, some have been faded, fading and some are bright, like
they love their every day routine and conversation as well as
interaction with people around them.

Well I have never
comfortable with people thinking am a Banana or sort of thing like that,
proud no definitely. A Chinese should be fluent in Mandarin, no
offense, at least this is what upheld and taught by my family on me. Am
always appreciate my mommy who sent me to a SJKC(which initially wasnt
her decision but eventually mommy made a sharp change in decision).
Root. This is why I love languages and sociology.