“But You’re Still So Young” (The Compliment Version)

Just picked a random recent photo in which I thought I looked young and vibrant enough

I’ve heard “you’re so young” a few times in the recent past as more of a non-compliment (which is hilarious, ’cause in L.A. years I’m about a hundred and three).

But today, I heard it in compliment form! And that made me happy.

I understand that I am so against our society’s obsession with youth, but it is so deeply ingrained in me to take being young as a compliment that I can’t help it. I’m sorry.

(I try not to give that as a compliment anymore, but I certainly still receive it with smiles.)

I’ve been feeling slightly overwhelmed lately (especially starting up some college classes again) (and getting rejected from a great program (again!)), looking at my life, looking at how long things take, and having a hard time quieting that voice that says “You are so old! What do you have to show for your life? Do you even have a enough time anymore to do something to show for it?”

Now, of course that’s silly. Obviously, objectively, I still have plenty of life to live (probably, assuming average life expectancy – even though you never know what’s gonna happen). But that voice still exists in my brain.

No matter how much I say Disney’s mantra, “keep moving forward,” it’s hard not to at least have a tiny faint little voice saying, “You fail a LOT. That’s only gonna be interesting if you get to the part of your story where you invent the lightbulb.”

I wrote a couple of the college professors with whom I was closest (and actually did well in their classes lol), and I asked for advice on applying to the Eli Whitney program at Yale. I mentioned it was the program for adult students, and one professor wrote back saying “Adult students? But you’re still so young!”

And it made me smile that someone still viewed me as young, and ostensibly thought I could fit in around colleges as said young person.

For the Eli Whitney program, the only requirement is that you’ve been out of high school for five years. Sigh. As much as I’d like to pretend like I haven’t been out of high school that long… I have. (But don’t tell anyone in L.A. They don’t like that.)

Well, it looks like there wasn’t a point to this post, really – except I guess to say that in some people’s eyes I’m still young and vibrant. So yay me!