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I started this title a year ago February because I thought I found Santosha. But I sat with a blank page for over a year. The word still comes up though and brings new and amazing meaning every time. In fact, when I was in Bali this past December I almost got the word or the Sanskrit symbol for Santosha tattooed on my body. Why? Because I realized I finally understood why this word keeps placing a presence in my life. (And I like tattoos that mean something)

The Sanskrit word santosha is divided into two parts: sam, meaning completely or entirely, and tosha, meaning acceptance, satisfaction, and contentment. Together they create a word that means complete acceptance or contentment.

The reason I kept having a blank page is because every time I sat down with it I realized I was far from content. But what I’m realizing is Santosha for me doesn’t mean being content with where I’m at, but content with where I’m going. I have accepted who I am. Humans spend so much time trying to be someone else that they downgrade who they are. We are all individually awesome in our own right and we all need to learn to own it a bit more. Now it doesn’t mean getting overly confident and arrogant by any means, but it does mean you should be proud of your story.

I spent this past weekend in Florida where I heard some incredible speakers. They all sparked a little fire beneath me. Dan Thurmon said, “Limiting yourself to what’s comfortable is denying yourself to what’s possible.” Go back, re-read that. If it sparks something inside of you, do something with it. I’ve stayed comfortable, I’m sure you have too. But is staying comfortable, or content where you want to stay?

I come across a lot of people who are naturally negative. Their contentment is within a realm of constant discontent. Their story is, life is unfair, bad things happen to me, this is hard. What if that all could change with accepting your story, and making your story into the story you want. Where will you find your Santosha?

I always go back to the words of Will Smith, “Practice is controlled failure. You have to fail and breakdown in order to become stronger; to succeed.” Write down your failures (accept that they are what is making you stronger), write down your dreams (give them light and make them happen). Write it down and see how your story can change. I’m doing this everyday. I don’t want my story to be what it used to be, but I want to grow and be better and more content because of my story. Only you can change your life.

I walked into Lululemon on Grand Ave today with a hat on because I heard my pictures were up and as loud as I am and as well as I function in front of a crowd it was really weird seeing myself up on a wall of my favorite store where people I know and people I don’t know shop everyday – so I tried to be disguised.

The awesome crew over there of course knows me and all complimented the pictures that were up. Truly the placement and the pictures chosen couldn’t be any more perfect. It’s all so surreal.

6 months ago I leaped to pursue my passion of helping people be their strongest and happiest selves through fitness, but also through social media. I post the things I do to show people this world isn’t all crappy, we just have to change our perception. We can be the change, even if it’s a small part.

In 20 days I will be flying off to work on myself more through a 300 hour teacher training. My life has had its shares of ups and downs. I’ve had heart break early, I’ve lost people close to me, and I’ve had to make big decisions on who is important to have in my life. I’ve had successes and I’ve had failures. 2017 has thrown its fair share of curve balls but as I’m reflecting and doing a lot of goal planning lately I’m realizing 2017 has been kick ass.

What I realized today when I looked at those pictures is that my decision to make change has given me a pretty awesome platform to be my authentic self. I get to change peoples lives every single day. And this is only the beginning!

Thank you to the crew at Lululemon Grand Ave and the kick ass people in my life that have supported me through all this change. Great things are coming and I’m excited to pursue some awesome opportunities in front of me!

A few days ago I got into a bit of a heated conversation with a person I have known for years. I kept myself pretty poised through it but I’m not gonna lie it stung a bit. Not because I cared about the words he said, but because it made me realize there are a ton of people in this world that are so insecure with their own issues they choose to belittle others.

2 months ago I quit my full time, stable, 40+ hour a week job that I was pretty good at to pursue my passion of helping people get out of their own way and find the inner spark within to be better, stronger and more confident. I myself have struggled for years with loving the body I’m in. I found most of my struggles started when I went through a marriage and divorce at 21. I was constantly putting myself down and blaming myself for things I couldn’t control. At 26 I opened my eyes and came out of that dark place. My friend got my into running and then yoga. Little did I know it was that moment that changed everything.

I am now full time teaching people how to be free of those feelings of not being good enough and feeling confident about their bodies through fitness. So back to why I’m writing this. The “friend” I mentioned earlier asked about the new business me and my friends have started and during the conversation he mentioned that he would never go to me for fitness advice because he would only talk to people that are in shape. You can imagine how my jaw dropped. I know I am not fitness model material (at this moment 😀), but I am on an incredible journey finding my perfect body. Let me tell you, I have never felt more confident about my body than I do now.

Why I am writing this….if you are like me and you are trying to reach certain fitness goals, do not let people knock you down! Anyone who ever tries to hate on you is just merely showing you how they see themselves in the mirror.

My hope for him is he wakes up and realizes everyone has their battles and more importantly everyone has their successes. Shine through your success and your battles will lessen. Be you and be confident with your self. For every hater there will be hundreds that believe in you.

“Be you. Set your fear on fire.”

If you want to learn more about the business I mentioned earlier check is out on the web: http://www.grit2gold.com or Instagram: grit2gold

“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of each step you take toward reaching that goal.” – unknown

The way I look at it finishing 30 days on the Whole 30 is just the first step. I entered this “diet” as a lifestyle change, NOT a diet. I hate the word diet, because diets fail.

I’ve set out to feel like the strong beautiful woman I preach that others should be. To do that I’m going to be more mindful of how I consume, how I splurge and continue working towards a better, stronger self. It’s not just a physical thing. There is a huge mental piece that I definitely explored during the 30 days. Knowing that mental strength I have can push me to make this change and encourage others to join in on the fun!

People do it for different reasons, health – long distance/sprints, one errand to the next, one meeting to the next, one activity to the next. You get my point. Our life is full of running.

All of these things we do are preparing us for the journey of life. The day after the marathon I met my friend for lunch and as I was walking into the restaurant, very slowly i’ll have you know, I realized I was walking in the same manner as the elderly couple walking out. Their marathon – life. I had a conversation with my mom shortly after and said “when i’m older, I don’t want to walk like I just finished a marathon”. But that’s what life is, a marathon right?

My conclusion is that all of these tests we put ourself through mentally, physically and emotionally, they are all pushing us to run through life. You can choose what is tough for you, you can choose what is exhausting and you most certainly choose what is rewarding.

Do something rewarding for yourself, make your life what you want it to be. AND do something that you never imagined you would.

My next challenge started yesterday….Whole 30. 30 days no sugar, no dairy, no grains. Stay tuned 🙂

I woke up today with an immense feeling of gratitude. Lately I’ve had a lot of questions of purpose and what I’m meant to do. I’m feeling very successful in many aspects of my life, however I’ve also had a huge burden of stress over things I can’t control. I’ve taken a lot of time for just me lately, and it sure has been fulfilling. I am getting a better understanding of who I am, what I need, what I want, what makes me my best self and what makes me happy. Until we find ourselves we can’t find happiness in anything or with anyone else.

I woke up before my alarm today so I actually took time to read. I picked up a daily meditation book my mom gave to me years ago. Today’s reading couldn’t have rang truer to the things I’m facing. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and feel not good enough. That is exactly what I’ve faced. So today I change that, today I do what I preach and I take a step to be my best self. There is so much in this life to do, so much I can offer and so many ways I can make all my dreams come true.

I made it, day 3 of the cleanse. This time around has been much easier than last year, even with the temptations of bagels, Rice Krispie cupcakes and fajita kabobs! I did the pro cleanse this time from Juice so Good and I have noticed my tummy has felt very full this time around with all the greens in the pro cleanse! Also my teeth have felt less gritty than last time, bonus!

I did eat some raw veggies and guacamole last night and it was just enough to help me realize how much I want to focus on clean eating (even though the bowl of chips was quite a temptation, did I mention the grilled chicken too) I actually was so full after the veggie snack that I only consumed 5 juices yesterday. Thanks to my friend Jessie and her encouragement to say no to the chips! Glad I fought the temptation!

I think I’m going to skip through this last day with flying colors and maybe even have a veggie treat again tonight! Glad my students, Travis and Jessie encouraged me to cleanse with them! It has been a great experience!