Category Archives: Encouragement

My experience with miscarriage

When we started trying for a baby, I suffered 3 miscarriages consecutively. My first miscarriage was a shock as I was not prepared for it at all and I was only a few days close to the critical 12 weeks. Additionally we had been so overjoyed about our pregnancy since we had been trying for years and so we had shared the good news with family and friends.

I will never forget when I started spotting and the tell tale signs of miscarriage became obvious, it seemed like my whole world was completely ripped apart. Thankfully Michael and I pulled through with the help of the HolyGhost and close friends and family.

When I took in the second time, fear gripped me as I could not rid myself of my previous experience even though it was over a year before yet it was still very raw.

Despite my fears and trying everything possible to avoid another miscarriage, yet my body could not hold this second pregnancy and I again miscarried.

I then went on with a third pregnancy, which again I miscarried and at that junction, we had to seek the Lord for guidance as well as sought medical help.

Prevalence of miscarriage

Miscarriage reportedly occurs in 20 percent of all pregnancies. However many women, before realising they are pregnant may miscarry without knowing it-assuming their miscarriage is merely a heavier period. Of the number of women who miscarry, 20 percent will suffer recurring miscarriages.

Types of Miscarriages

Can miscarriages be prevented?

The majority of miscarriages can’t be prevented. If a woman has suffered from more than three miscarriages, some women can be helped to keep their pregnancy with medication under the care of a specialist.

However, there are some things you can do to reduce the risk of a miscarriage. Eating a healthy diet and reducing your risk of infection can help.

Weight

Obesity can increases your risk of miscarriage. A person is obese when they have a body mass index (BMI) of over 30.

The best way to protect your health and your baby’s wellbeing is to lose weight before you become pregnant. By reaching a healthy weight, you cut your risk of all the problems associated with obesity in pregnancy.

Treating the root cause

Sometimes the cause of a miscarriage can be identified. In these cases, it may be possible to have treatment to prevent this causing any more miscarriages for instance:

Antiphospholipid syndrome

Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS), also known as Hughes syndrome, is a condition that causes blood clots. It can be treated with medication. Research has shown that a combination of aspirin and heparin (a medicine used to prevent blood clots) can improve pregnancy outcomes in women with the condition.

A type of investigation known as Abnormal Thromboelastogram is conducted to determine if you have this blood disorder. It is only undertaken in a handful of hospitals. If all other alternatives have been done and still suffer miscarriages, ask your doctor about this blood tests and for a referral to the appropriate Hospital. In UK, only 3 centres undertake this test, one of which is St’ Mary’s NHS Trust Fertility Clinic.

Weakened cervix

A weakened cervix, also known as cervical incompetence, can be treated with an operation to put a small stitch of strong thread around your cervix to keep it closed. This is usually carried out after the first 12 weeks of your pregnancy, and is removed around week 37.

Fibroid tumours

Research has shown that fibroids are associated with increased midtrimester losses in women with recurrent miscarriage, and that removal of cavity-distorting fibroids i.e. those fibroids inside the lining of the womb may increase live birth rates and reduce the losses.

A significant proportion of Afrocarribean black women suffer from Fibroids, however not all of these women will have problems or show any symptoms. The location of the fibroids determines whether or not you suffer any symptoms.

I know a number of people that have carried their pregnancy successfully with fibroids although some women encounter pain and cramping yet they have been able to carry to term.

There are many fears regarding undertaking surgery and the potential complications that may arise. As a child of God you need to know that like David enquired of the Lord before he went to fight to recover his family that we need to ask God to lead and guide us in the path He wants us to take. Do not take this decision without Him!

We have a number of testimonies on the link below that shows that you can still carry a successful pregnancy after fibroid tumour surgery (Myomectomy).

Karyotyping

If you’ve had recurrent miscarriages, you and your partner can be tested for abnormalities in your chromosomes (blocks of DNA) that could be causing the problem, which is the rarest of known causes. This type of testing is known as karyotyping.

If karyotyping detects problems with your or your partner’s chromosomes, you can be referred to a clinical geneticist (gene expert).

They’ll be able to explain your chances of a successful pregnancy in the future and whether there are any fertility treatments, such as in vitro fertilisation IVFthat you could try. This type of advice is known as genetic counselling.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

This is a is a condition that affects how a woman’s ovaries work.

It’s difficult to know exactly how many women have PCOS, but it’s thought to be very common and affect millions of women.

PCOS affects a woman’s fertility due to irregular ovulatution and have been suggested to result in miscarriage of pregnancies.

Our God is able! We have a testimony (Baby after 7 years) on the Homepage to encourage you that you can have children in spite of PCOS diagnosis.

Coping with Miscarriage, healing and recovery

Miscarriage remains an uncomfortable subject in our society. The silence permeating the topic causes more psychological pain for the grieving mother since she is unable to mourn openly and properly. The grieving process provides much healing to the emotional and mental health of the woman and without it, she finds, she suffers alone.

Miscarriage, brings great psychological and emotional pain. The loss of pregnancy does not end with expelled fetal matter-for many, miscarriage brings about the death of a child. Although medical terminology does not deem the developing embryo or fetus as a child, many mothers attach to the pregnancy early on. When the miscarriage occurs, the woman loses not just a pregnancy, but a child and her dreams for that child.

How do I keep my mind stayed on Jesus when it seems to be bombarded by all sorts of issues relating to my infertility?

In my waiting, in my trusting, in my hoping, in my believing, there were many occasions where I struggled in my mind in dealing with the constant challenges when trying to conceive (ttc).

However loving your hubby is, mine Michael was very supportive and loving yet it remains a lonely journey for a woman going through ttc.

I know what it was during those months and years of agonising wait for the month to end so that I could conduct a pregnancy test.

The confusing symptoms I suffered that triggered a whole chain reaction that pulls my emotion into a downward spin into depression almost.

I was constantly getting anxious and frustration will set in every now and then from the constant purchase of pregnancy kits to conduct home testing anticipating a pregnancy. These issues engulfed my life that it was almost eating me out until I got to a CROSS ROAD with my God.

Isaiah 26 v 3:

The Lord will keep in perfect peace those whose mind are stayed on HIM.

Mind stayed on Him – Jesus NOT on the Problem!!

But how do I keep my mind stayed on Him you ask when your physical symptoms are so overwhelming?

Romans 8 v 6b

……..the mind controlled by the SPIRIT is life and peace!

Actions I needed to take:

Keep my mind stayed on God

Learn the power of prayer

Allow my mind to be controlled by the Holyspirit

You ask how do I keep my mind focused on Him when in reality my challenges are so physical and tangible?

My response is delve in to the word of God and find His promises on fertility – check out my older blog – God’ s word on fertility. http://www.leen.org.uk/gods-word-on-fertility/

This will give you reassurance and remember the promises of God are yes and amen. I will also suggest find a Jesus believing church and be a part of the body of Christ where you will find encouragement and gain knowledge, revelation and insight through the preaching of the word

The wait with trying to conceive (ttc) is a lonely journey!

But the Lord Jesus our Savior went through a lonely journey at Gethsemane Matthew 26v36-46 . His soul was overwhelmed with sorrow, he even took his closest with Him and asked them to keep watch with Him. But you will recall that the 3 disciples slept off and could not wait with Him. Jesus prayed 3 times, I believe that by the 3rd time He got the victory in His mind to overcome the overwhelming feeling he had suffered.

Here the power of prayer gave Jesus the power to overcome the fear of the cross!

My long waiting and then followed by miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and a further miscarriage was very weighty. However I decided to decide that no longer will my mind be a playground for the enemy to mess up with. I was taking control through the power of the Holyspirit and I did take the steps, starting one day at a time!

You can do the same:

My daily prayer for a long time was taken from:

Romans 12 v2

Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable will of God.

The only way I could transform my mind was through a constant renewal of my mind with the word of God to de-clutter my mind from:

My negative experiences

Miscarriages

Ectopic pregnancy

The doctors’ report

My failing womb

My collapsed fallopian tube

And I filled it with the truth in the word of God, you can do the same.

I watched a documentary some time back about fishing and it taught me a lot about patience and never giving up. A fisherman or woman wants to catch fish but it requires some patience to get what they really want.

Questions:

How long have you been waiting on the Lord for the fruit of the womb?

Do you still believe?

Is anything too challenging for our God?

We didn’t have our child until the 11th year of our marriage!

Therefore I will look to the lord,

I will wait for God my Salvation,

My God will hear me

Micah 7 v 7

My Waiting

It was for me an emotional roller coaster, I had thought it will be straight forward but after the first year of trying, I was shocked to find out it was not that easy.

And then about 2 – 3 years after trying and nothing happened, the investigations started, first on my husband; sperm count and health check. It started off my husband’s sperm count was low.

Then the investigations turned to me, and that was when I discovered I had fibroids and it appeared they were every where in my womb. My sister had fibroid and she successfully carried her pregnancy so I assumed that in due time I will have a positive outcome. However when I eventually got pregnant, I miscarried. Then the wait after my pregnancy was another prolonged one, which ofcourse took a toll on me.

Monthly Challenges

The numbers of pregnancy kits I got were countless and the constant urine test I undertook affected me as the results were always negative even when I felt like I was pregnant sometimes with nausea and tenderness yet the test was negative.

Afterwards my monthly periods got worse with excruciating pain and I ended up calling my period pain and fearing the worst every month. My fear was not only for the pain I suffered but fear that the expected pregnancy will not happen!

I was also becoming quite overwhelmed and depression was setting in!

God had to deal with these issues one day as I laid in anticipation to do another pregnancy test and I was having the pre-symptoms of my period!

As I entertained the thoughts of fear, God dropped a word in my spirit – SEED and then He elaborated:

Your period is a seed!!!

Without this seed, your harvest won’t come and from today onwards call your period seed when it arrives!

Not only that Abi, you must rejoice when your seed comes and take off your sad countenance.

Additionally depression was dealt with: Micah 7 v 8

Rejoice not against me my enemies,

When I fall, I shall arise,

When I sit in darkness. The lord shall be a light for me!

That was a TURNING POINT for me. It took an emotional shift to change my countenance. As a man thinketh so is he!

So I made up my mind to do exactly what the Lord commanded me to do and to rise up from the floor of depression!

You maybe waiting on the shore for what seems a very long time but when you get your catch you will be glad you waited!

Just today I heard a testimony on christian channel of a couple that had their baby after 25 years of waiting and trusting the Lord!

Again I heard of a testimony today of a woman who had a baby at 55 years old!

What about the references in the Bible, let me recount – Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth and Samson’s mother.

Our waiting is not in vain, we are waiting on a compassionate God who hears us and responds to our cry.

Has a pronouncement of impossibility been made on you by medical science, well then trust in the super natural God who controls the universe and has your life in his hands.

For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1 v 37

Puzzle pieces

You have this desire of a beautiful picture for your life; seeing yourself as a family, mum, dad with your child/children yet what you see in reality looks like the puzzle pieces which does not make sense with all the issues you are going through.

Remember that God is the master puzzle creator, maker, and designer of your life and in His time He will make all things beautiful like the tree below. The package God has for you requires time to make it beautiful so He is doing just that.

Out of the puzzle pieces we see a beautiful tree and abundant flowers blooming, So let the master carry on His work in you, He is the potter and we are the clay!

All your waiting, loss and pain will all come together and your TESTING will turn into your TESTIMONY.

So what do you do while waiting?:

While waiting on Him, as I indicated in the background page about me, our first son was delivered in the 11th year of our marriage. So as you can imagine I went through a number of stages of waiting on the Lord. It appeared nothing was happening for what seemed like eternity. Then when I got pregnant I suffered miscarriages and ectopic pregnancy and the waiting and hoping that the diagnosis was wrong. To make matters worse, I had fibroid tumours in my womb that seemed to keep multiplying in numbers resulting in having to undergo 7 separate surgeries to have them removed and waiting and trusting that my womb could still carry a viable pregnancy post surgeries.

For me I had to tune in to my Heavenly Father and there were 2 scriptures that encouraged me strongly; Psalms 40 and 62 – Despite all I was going through – I resolved according to His word – I will wait patiently for him and I will rest in the Lord!

Mike Murdock’s take on what’s happening in the spirit during our time of waiting:

Our season of waiting are the busiest in the spirit world.

Angels are positioning to minister to us

Demons are being confronted and overcome

Strategies are being developed

God is moving people to work on our behalf

Waiting on the Lord: Psalms 40 v 1 – 5 and Psalms 62 v 1 – 2, 6 – 8

1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. 4 Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. 5 Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40 v 1 – 5

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62 v 1 – 2, 6 – 8

Rest in the Lord;

Live your life while you are waiting;

Travel or take up a new hobby;

Develop yourself professionally;

Find out your purpose and take steps to fulfill it;

Find a bible believing Church where JESUS is the centre;

Laugh and be joyful, it will get rid of the wrinkles and send some good chemicals to your brain 🙂

Ladies no matter how hopeless our situation appears to be, remember this from the word: …..

v17: He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed–the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

v18: Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

v19: Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead–since he was about a hundred years old–and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.

v20: Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,

v21:being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

It is wonderful to keep journals, when I went through them and realised I’ve come a long way with God to the point where indeed I can say like David:

Psalm 16 v 9

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices, my flesh also will rest in hope.

Where every month then used to be a struggle in the past, after these revelation I was free because I knew my hope is in the lord and that my redeemer liveth.

Only His word can heal us and in due time when we allow it!!

My Prayer for you:

Isaiah 40 v 31

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagle, they will run and not go weary, they will walk and not go faint.

May God give you the strength to reach your destination, keep your eyes and your mind on the word of promise – that is the Destination. You will run and not be weary even if everyone else is. You will soar on high as an eagle and you will testify in Jesus name. Amen

And now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing , that you may abound in hope by the power of the HolySpirit. Amen

Hold on to Hope

Hebrews 10 v 23

23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Rejoice always!!!

Thessalonians 5 v 16 says

Rejoice always

I used to ask myself the question, if I can be happy despite my situation when I was not sure if i could ever get pregnant as well as during the times when I was just unable to carry a pregnancy to term.

There were times when I overwhelmingly felt sad and just couldn’t pull myself out of that sad countenance. However I came across:

Habakkuk 3 v 17 – 18

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Defining moment

That was a defining moment for me and it prompted a discussion between us as a couple. We had a long discussion about what our relationship was based on and we reminded ourselves that our falling in love with each other was not based on the condition of us having children.

It was a significant junction for us and it was great that we could both get it out in the open!

We got to a point where we knew that regardless of whether we were able to have children or not that we will not stop loving each other and it will not stop us from being happy.

It is not Happiness that brings us Gratitude however Gratitude brings us Happiness.

Reading those verses in Habakkuk definitely helped to deal with this major issue that although our big expectations are not met yet we choose to rejoice!!!

It’s a CHOICE!!!

Actually I found ways to laugh despite the pain of infertility as the quote below suggests:

I will mess about and make myself a pretend baby bump and then walk around the house with it like a pregnant woman.

I will check myself out in the mirror and laugh at myself and say to myself ‘wow this is what you will look like when you’re pregnant!!!’

I actually learnt over time not to take myself too serious and just laughed!!!

There is a saying that goes that your attitude determines your altitude.

Your attitude is key and having the a thankful, joyful and grateful attitude goes a very long way.

So today I encourage you to do whatever it takes to:

Rejoice always, and take off the sad countenance, that’s is the devil’s plan for you not God’s.

Fill your home and your car with wonderful praise music, blast and punctuate the atmosphere with your praise, dance to your God until your legs can no longer hold you up.

Be thankful to God – He is working on you and has been doing so before you were formed in your mother’s womb!!

Inspiring Testimony – Time running out – But Faith works!

Is time running out on you? Medical facts says that you are getting old and your chances of carrying a successful pregnancy are reduced!

Time flying by, age drawing nearer to 40, this couple Missy and Ross knew they had to draw closer and push up on God to have their children. Suffering an excruciating painful miscarriage and then year after year, still waiting for the miracle of pregnancy.

They had to build up their faith through God’s word, then having done all to stand stand therefore on the word of God!

Facts told Missy she was getting older but the word of God told her in Psalm 92 v 14 …..they shall still bear fruit fruit in their old age.

Both Missy and Ross had to change their mindset, remember the bible says as a man thinketh so is he and by so doing they renewed their mind in the word of God

Missy realised how important faith is and she raised her faith level and the outcome resulted in a double portion blessing of children.

To read the full testimony, please request it through the comment section below with the details of your email

Fight of faith to overcome the mountain!

Wini and her husband faced a great ordeal in trying to conceive but they were determined that God will give them victory despite all odds.

Suffering 2 premature labour and the loss of the children and followed by miscarriage. Wini was exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally. Facing the losses and the pain that came with it, made this couple determined to reach out to God for help.

Understanding the impact the losses can have they knew the only restorer and healer is Jesus and so they decided to spend time searching the word and taking daily medicines from God’s word, listening to tapes and reading faith filled books to help them through this phase.

Wini made a decision based on the word of God in Romans 8v35, 37-39: Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God showed up for this faithful couple and Wini became pregnant not knowing until she was in her second trimester and delivered a healthy baby boy. God of double portion showed up again and within 9 months of having her baby she conceived again and delivered a second healthy baby.

How high is the mountain you have to climb to hold your covenant children in your hands? know that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you.

To read the full testimony, please request it through the comment section below with the details of your email

Winners never quit!

Recurrent Miscarriages and still believing……

Marty and John had tried conceiving for 6 years without any positive outcome before their beautiful daughter turned up. This was after they became resolute and had dedicated themselves to daily speaking the word of God over their lives regarding their covenant children.

When their daughter turned 2 they decided it was time to try for a second child. However they faced gruelling time resulting in Marty suffering 5 recurrent miscarriages. These miscarriages took a toll on them but they knew they were facing a battle that required them to face it all facets.

Fighting depression and emotional exhaustion after the recurrent losses, they were hard pressed but were not crushed and had to cling to God’s word to keep their mind focused. They were not going to quit.

Fortunately they were blessed with a specialist who took their case serious and had spent time researching Marty’s condition, known as APH – Antiphospholipid Syndrome, a condition that causes blood to clot (See the post on Miscarriage and some of it’s causes)

This condition meant that the next time she conceived she will have to face the ordeal of injecting herself every 12 hours with blood thinning agents to reduce the risk of her blood clotting. Taking their time they waited on the Lord until they had the peace to undertake the treatment after careful consideration of the associated risk.

So 9 months later with injecting herself over 500 blood thinning medication their son was born.

Today they are enjoying every day life with their daughter and their son – winners never quit – with God on your side you conquer!

To read the full testimony, please request it through the comment section below with the details of your email