Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?

Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice. “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like. Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married. (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends

We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

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977 comments

Hope everybody had a nice day My name is Susan I am 67 in NC I adopted 2 cats 4 years ago. My boy died less than a month ago, if not for my girl I do not know what i would do. I have one best friend who is now in Florida. I am from New York City originally. I just want a friend I was thinking of a room i turned into a computer room back to a bedroom and look for somebody to share it with. Golden Girls 2 where are you lol. I spend a lot of time on facebook. Just found this blog tonight

I am a 70yr old man looking for a pen pal or someone to tex or talk to on the phone. I don’t drive sence a couple of mounted ago I todaled my car do to curcomstances I can’t get into know. I live with my daughter and. son-inlaw I can get around pretty good. My hobbies is working with wood tree ornaments, funeture and small things out of wood. . I like to travel but l don’t drive. I am religesous but not a fanatic. I love my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope I hear something it gets lonely around this house during the day by my self.

Hi I am 67 years of age and although married it is non communicative and deeply lonely, I crave for the friendship of a lady in a similar state, purely for friendship, and social .
I enjoy cycling and walking and am very active,,

Gordon,
I am 65 years old and maybe in a similar situation. I am not deeply lonely or craving female friendship, but do have a non communicative and lonely marriage of over 20 years. Yesterday I biked 35 miles and today I am getting ready to run five miles.

I wonder how you are doing with your search? I am interested in talking to men about working to improve our enjoyment of life. So, maybe we can help each other. I might have some decent feedback about your efforts. And you might suggest where I look to find all the old men who are still making the effort to do new things.

My wife and I live like college room mates that are sick of each other and can’t get out of their one year lease.

Looking for a pen pal for my 65 year old grandma. She’s disabled, doesn’t drive, and is lonely. Ideally, she would love to speak to someone who is also Christian as religion is very important to her and maybe knows how to use FaceTime so you can chat face to face.

Hi my name is Di. I am severe arthritis and do not leave the house much. I carve in wood and make my own things also. Last thing I made was a sculptured dragon……wingspan 3 feet ….everyone says it looks like it came from the HBO show. I am good but super slow due to arthritis in my hands. I sell my work whenever I can. I live in Hawaii and do not travel due to back issues. I live alone, so always fixing broken things. I get lonely also….it is hard not having someone to discuss things with….as most people have no idea what it is like to be alone. My friends are all dead, died young….so I miss the support. Family and friend in the mainland are too busy to even talk. Get to see children and grandchildren but they are also so busy with sports and life….it is rare to see to them. My hobbies are all kinds of art, exotic garden design, pet cats…reading books….plus a few other things. I am 63.

I am75 and really lonely I substitute in schools I tutor in the afternoon I have my grandson and a great great granddaughter close by my children but I’m still lonely and miss the communication of a man in my life I would like to find someone who just wants to talk and share things someone who is this lonely as I am for adult conversation and also to share daily things with I love to share things about my grandchildren and my great grandchildren and my children I’m as active as you can be but I still miss you so much this one on one communication with another adult I’m a normal human being a normal woman who just likes the simple things in life

I’m Barry, This 21st. of June I turn 75. As yourself, I am handicapped to the degree I can walk only short distances, and typing goes slowly for myself as well. I paint. Watercolor,pastel, ink etc. May we speak further?

It does for some. For many. I used to work with the elderly, and now I’m one. Never thought I’d be one who is so discounted for intelligence and wisdom merely because of my age. Now I’m like a ghost, a nice old lady that ceases to exist once out of sight….in businesses, by politicians, or in church. We are not all the same, and I find nothing stimulating or satisfying about being at a senior citizen gathering of people I have nothing in common with except that we are all old. I do not want to sit and talk about aches and pains and the past, cards and board games bore me. My only intellectual stimulation is online research about a lot of topics, and social media where I get into deep discussions on my Christian faith, politics, important world events. Of course, I don’t list my age, because then I’m more likely to be less sought after for discourse. If the president of the United States can be so productive, intelligent, energetic, at 72, why do people assume the rest of us aren’t?

5;28 am. Yhats says a lot right there. I stay up late and i have to force myself to start winding down from whatever im into at abot 3 am. Usually cant though. I compose or arrange music and send it to an agency looking for background or film music. It keeps me busy, bur some days im just not into it.
Ive got things to say too and im not amused at age descrimination ven though I have done it myself
Getting sick of the lies and false politics and illogical thinking in politics. Seems like pople want to talk about the same irrelevant crap every day. Theres things going on in the world too that we just plain dont hear about anymore.
Seems like only adversity makes people think outside themselves.
Do i sound negative? I am and I mean it!
.

I am shocked at how many people on this site are lonely and sound like reasonable people. Maybe everyone should find some way to contribute to society and stop worrying about being “alone” and lonely. Volunteer at some task you are actually interested in and everything will work out. I was in the library recently and met a man who was shelving the books that had been returned that day. I started the conversation and he told me that he was a widower who had no intention of sitting around at home feeling sorry for himself. I asked what else he did with his spare time. He volunteered at the local school to help those whose language was not English. He helped kids learn and he told me he thought they were hopeful for their American futures. I started the conversation. If I had not I would never have found out what this man was doing. Maybe that’s the answer. Get out of yourself and see who is out there, what he/she is doing with this precious gift of life and try to connect with those who share your interests. If you have no interests, it’s time to discover some.
I am a 79 year old woman who has been a widow for almost five years. The only time I have ever felt lonely was when I was in second grade and my father died in front of my sister and me of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I. have more interests than I can actively manage. If that is the key to not being lonely, it is also an answer for many. of you who feel so alone. It is so important to get out of yourself. Surely, someone can benefit from what you have experienced and learned in your long life.

Oi am 75 and not needed. Spent life raising four on my own then dads ca then bro emphysema then mom passed. I have never not needed to do or be somewhere. I am lost. My adult kids ass ume a lot due to the n u m b e r of my age. I live alone, bus everywhere. Am an introvert which no one believes….I am today lost. Need to lose weight, exercise, walk….but my butt is glue and days fly by. Oh it’s Friday again. I live in a 62 plus community have been around it since 1998 when I moved muy mother in….everyday with 200 apts 62 plus someone else fails one way or another…I fear new close friends and the loss. I am very blessed to be capable and basically healthy and ashamed I just sit. Which is more weight. Need a life!

I am retired, in my 70’s, healthy and active but feeling very much alone in my senior years. Love to be around people but find lots of phoniness these days like older people, especially, seem unwilling or unable to just be who they are, warts and all. It took some work but I now like myself well enough (don’t think I’m flawless but like who I am). Got myself stranded out west (Ca.) having moved around some (my home town is Philly, Pa.), married and divorced in Ca., but am resigned to staying here now. My daughter is here so love to be nearby.

I would love to hear from someone who also feels lonely and who has little or no family to enjoy holidays, etc. with. Holidays are the most painful for me as I love family stuff but have had very little of family closeness. My daughter is fine (we like each other) but she and I don’t have many interests in common. I don’t get to see my best friend anymore as she lives in Florida. The phone is my main source of communication with a few relatives and friends (east coast mostly) and though I do mix with people at church, Bible studies, and art “clubs” (H.B. Art Foundation), I have no local significant friend (to just go for coffee, lunch, shop, talk, encourage each other, for instance) so feel pretty unspecial to anyone in Ca.

I love animals (especially horses – I am an equine artist), the out-of-doors (especially camping), just plain “hanging out”, games, Vegas, and people in general. If there is anyone who would like to do e-mail, write letters, or phone calls (maybe later), please answer this blog.

Hi Claire, I am in my 70’s as well & have a horse ( had 2 for many years , had to put her down @ 35 yrs of age ). I have a small farm here in NC . I am very active as well, always a social person but since I have retired feeling lonely & you are so right in saying how hard it is to meet quality people. Accidentally stumbled across this website ( not lookin for such ) & saw your blog. My home state is NJ ( on the shore )… not having any success in sending you this message !

Hi Molly – I hope I am doing this right and you are getting my reply to your message to me. I don’t get on the computer every day, sometimes 1 – 2 weeks, hence, this pokey answer. How fortunate that you have a horse – I am a lifetime horse-lover but being a city girl, never had one of my own. I did, happily, get to help train two thoroughbreds in Va. with my horsewoman friend (she taught ME along with the horses). Loved it.

How do you spend your days? With a ranch, I assume you might have other animals besides your horse. I love all animals, have always had more than one pet (mostly cats) but put my last cat down last year (cried a lot for awhile and still miss her). Now it’s really quiet at home but likely won’t get any more. Do you have family nearby? Kids? I just hope this gets to you – I am not very proficient on the computer.

Hi Molly – thought I sent you an answer but will try again. (my capital letter button does not always work correctly) and I am not always sure my messages go through either. I’m retired, too, and have volunteered (helped out at three horse rescue stables and loved every minute). was glad to see you have a horse. sorry about your one horse being put down – I hate it when I lose an animal friend. they can be your best friends sometimes. (I just put down my last cat after years of cats (always more than one – up to four) I am from Philly and spent many weekends on the Jersey shore (barnegat Light for one). Love the Jersey shore.

I am kind of stuck out here (Ca.) – long, boring story – been here since about ’68. was married here, divorced, with one child, a daughter who lives about 6 miles from me. she is lonely herself, sometimes, as she is also divorced with no kids. I do live alone and don’t mind so much but love to be around people, too. I make myself at least have some acquaintances but most don’t seem to have any interest in making new friends. a lot of people here (espec. older people) seem to have their support systems of family and friends set up and really don’t need or want to make an effort to include anyone else tho’ on the surface they are nice enough.

I hope you don’t think I abandoned you and that you will write back. It’s a shame people don’t write letters anymore as it was always a good feeling to hear from people thru the mail. tell me about yourself – N.J., your farm, family, if any, what you like to do, etc., especially your horses. I am an equine artist and love to produce a beautiful horse on canvas. claire

Hi Claire ! I wrote you an informative blog but as I sent it my power went off & lost it . Crazy thing to happen …. this was today ( maybe did go thru, just don’t see it ) I’ll wait to see if indeed it went thru, if not I’ll sent you another one ! SORRY for the delay ( explained in my blog ) hope this finds you ! regards, Molly

Hello Claire ! I just saw my message on your blog ( they have gotten faster on getting messages thru ) ☺️ That’s a good thing ! Before it took several days. Oh well, I want to thank you for being so persistent in your efforts to get a message to me .. I had checked for a response several times then just got busy here on my property ( growing season started a little early this spring ) today checked & saw your messages to me. It’s a small world, I was married in philly ( many moons ago ) the good thing was my son from that marriage however the marriage didn’t go the distance. I love where I’m from just can’t afford property there ( prices & taxes ) crazy. My sister lives in cape May & loves it . Really enjoy the seaside towns ( great memories ). I have lived on this property close to 18 yrs. brought with me 2 horses a dog & a cat ( which 1 horse is still with me ) 32 year old Arabian ( still beautiful as ever & spunky ). While on this property I have adopted 3 dogs & 3 cats. Still with me my dog of 6yrs old & my cat of 17 yrs old. Precious are both ! I’m at peace with the passing of each one ( they had great lives here on the farm. You have a talent I always wish I had, your an artist ( has to be wonderful & fulfilling ). You had mentioned writing letters, yes it’s a lost art ( always nice to get the mail with a HANDWRITTEN letter waiting to be read ). I can’t complain I have a good life but does sometimes get lonely ( even tho I keep pretty busy ). My knowledge on the computer is not the best, my go to guy is my grandson almost 9 yrs old . My son & his family live minutes away ( but have such busy lives ) . Today life is more complicated for young families then when I was raising my son. I’m jumping around with my message, trying to answer your questions & tell you a little about myself. This morning I had written a message that was in order but it didn’t go thru. I apoligze if this message is hard to follow. I’m going to say goodnight now & hope to hear from you !

I can relate to Holidays. I have no family. The friends I do have are all male, I worked in a male dominated industry. They are married, so I cannot call them up and ask them to a movie or to go somewhere for a long weekend.

I have done all I can think of to move forward, although this is not positive,it is truth….” each day is simply a duplication fro the one before.” I remember joy, happiness, friends. For me it is not worth existing, all people need to live, have life. We all need a sense of community, purpose and feel we our loved, cared about. I have none of this. I go out everyday, I volunteer, but it is not fulfilling. I do wonder if I will be here tomorrow. I do not mind being alone, I mind the lonliness.

Hi Karen – It was good to hear from you. You and I seem to have a lot in common. I think of myself as very normal with normal human yearnings as in love and respect from others – family and friends, especially. without it (my capital letter button does not always work) life can be pretty dull even though you love some things about it (horses, for one for me). I was raised in a pretty normal family, a middle child – only girl of three kids and I understand my dad really wanted a girl when I was born (they had a family party for me at birth) but, for some reason, both parents (espec. my mom) never really “talked” to me (no interest in my grades at school, no compliments, encouragement, didn’t teach me how to do anything, for instance – they just didn’t talk to me other than rudimentary small talk). I won’t bore you with much else here, but emotionally, I was starving. Other relatives the same; it’s like I really didn’t have a family at all. some lady above said why do parents want and have children if they don’t want to nourish them and care for them. I asked that very question many times.

I got kind of stuck out here; california (long boring story) – I do have one child – a daughter who lives six miles away. she is also somewhat alone (she has some friends having been raised here but is currently divorced with no kids. I love her but we have little to no interests in common.

I’d love to hear more about your own life. I hope you will write back again. If you just wanna write for a while, that’s fine. I’m a little on the shy side, at least at first. I do understand your loneliness quite well, Karen, and I hope you will write back when you get a chance. i hope you will tell me more about yourself, your past, home town, interests. claire

I am 65 year old man interested in strengthening my mental health and helping others to find more interest in their lives. I am looking for groups on social media to participate in.

I am married twenty plus years. We live together kind of like college room mates that are sick of each other and still have six months on our lease. I rode my bike 30 miles yesterday, and am getting ready after writing this to run five miles. In the Spring and Fall I have been section hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail. My hips and knees may not carry me to many more years at such activities.

Where are older people on social media conversing about staying active, motivated, and helping each other with encouragement and understanding?

i am 60m and was born and live in Costa Rica. I have lots of friends, but, the more the merrier!!! I have twin grand-daughters and people often think they are my daughters!! Love working out and reading!

Feminism has really destroyed many of us good single young men looking for a good woman to settle down with. And now unfortunately since so many of these women are very high maintenance, independent, very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, narcissists, feminists, and very money hungry, which certainly has a lot to do with it why so many of us men are still single today as i speak. The women today are really to blame for this mess since the great majority of the women back in the old days were certainly Real Ladies with very good manners and a good personality which they Don’t have today at all. And since i know friends that are having the very same problem today as well, which they really do feel as bad as me since we never ever expected to be single this long either. And now you have the women that have their Careers which they really think their God’s gift to men with their six figure salary which makes it even worse for many of us very serious men looking for love today. And i wish that i could have been born in the good old days which i definitely would have met a real very nice woman since even i myself would have been all settled down by now with my own good wife and family today as i speak, instead of still being single and all alone now which my friends that i know really agree with me as well. And being single and alone all the time can really be very unhealthy and depressing as well. Very obvious why married men live longer.

Hi, I’m a 64 year old woman and I completely agree with what you wrote here. Feminism has turned this country upside down! AND, it’s the MEN being blamed:/ There are those who want a genderless society, but both God and Science show male and female differences and it was supposed to be ‘good’! The sexes were supposed to compliment each other’s differences. Only women can bear children. Only women lactate and can nurse their babies. As a former teacher, I have seen what having no one at home to raise children has done to society. Other people are raising these children. No one will ever love another’s child like a parent . You didn’t ask for suggestions, but if you practice a religion, maybe a singles group? Although, religion doesn’t always guarantee a successful marriage there might be a chance for you to find a denomination where gender roles are encouraged and appreciated for what they were intended., to support and uphold one another and make strong family units. For those people who want to raise their children ‘gender free’ they obviously did NOT study Biology 101. Both women and men can bring their special and unique qualities to the marriage. My daughter is a stay at home mom and she frequently is met with hostility because of not having a ‘job’. The most important job on this planet is the raising of one’s children! I feel for you and hear your frustration. My prayers are with you. Persist and don’t give up hope!

Hi dear, you are so young (just 33 years old), for such a pessimist vision. Look out there still many good girls, who’s isn’t money hungry, narcissist, spoiled, greedy, and many other adjectives you have pointed. Maybe you are looking on the wrong places. For sure if you open your heart and stop generalizing woman, will going to find a real nice girl, and you are going to see her as God send gift to you. Good luck!! Be happy no matter!!

Being alone doesn’t mean a person is lonely, but I desperately am. I’m a senior over 65 no husband or friends. My children are grown and gone. I go days without speaking to people. When I wake up in the mornings sometimes this gloom hits me and I don’t think I can do another day like this. I do get out and go to the YMCA two or three times a week but it’s not enough. I so desperately need someone.

Hi Mailia – I just typed a blog comment on this site and see that you are struggling with lonliness, too, in your senior years. This is Mar. 16 (2019) so if you want to contact me, there is a web site (e-mail address) for you to use. (foxrest7771@yahoo.com).

Lonliness is a very painful place to be, especially as we age. Never thought it would be like this. Claire

Patrica, Quite a change today in the women compared to the old days unfortunately. Most women were real ladies back then, and the very complete opposite of today since most of their parents did raise them very well back then. Thank you very much for your support.

I’m 48 with 5 and 7 year old children. I’m lonely, have no friends, or husband. I’m simply waiting for my kids to get out of high school, then I’m checking out. I have no intention of living single, unwanted, and unloved.

You know your name means honey in Greek. I think you’re minutes away from falling in love Mellisa. I really don’t think knocking off is a good idea. I mean, god granted life, and we shouldn’t give it away so easily. I think you’re blessed with children. I always wanted them, but was told I couldn’t make them when I was much younger. What ever poison the doctors and specialists put in my brain, I believed them until I didn’t. No one has allowed me the opportunity to prove them wrong. I’m 55 and if I met the right person, I would be happy to prove I am capable of children. But I don’t think the world is ready for the next christ (born of a man unable to produce). Wasn’t the first one from an immaculate mother. It would make sense to have one from the immaculate father.
Anyways, don’t give up hope. Love is at your doorstep. Remember to hold onto it when it arrives.

Hi, I am a 64 year old male. All my kids live in different states. I am working a state different than where I grew up. I do have friends back home. But really none here where I currently live. Which is a small community. So all I do is go to work and go home to an empty place. Day in and day out. It’s getting really old. All my family and friends want me to move back home. I can not afford to live there. As the housing is so expensive. I do have a plan to pay off my vehicles. Then after that I plan on taking the deep sleep. I am that lonely and depressed. Never talked to anyone before about this. Just keeping it to myself. Just wanted to get it off my chest. Not looking for sympathy, help or anything. Just wanted to get what’s bothering me out. Thanks for listening. I’m not posting my real name.

Hi Steve
I am from India. Are u shocked. I guess I know how u feel . Though I live surrounded by kids and grandkid’s I feel pretty lonely too. I was so busy taking care of my family , I forgot to make friends . Now I feel lonely and I too feel exactly like u . When it’s time to go , it’s time . Until then Steve live yr life to the best .

Hello, just want you to know that I read your post and also that I think I understand why you wrote it. While you make money to pay off your vehicles and before you plunge into the big sleep, is there someone you can help? Sometimes a smile or a kind word is enough and there are so many in desperate need of a friendly gesture. May your journey be eased and may you find what you need (even if it’s not what you want). M

Hi Eric:
I am 74+ and have been in U K for three months and now am off to USA…. to FL!!! I’d love to chat with you!!! Long distance friendships are always great…. just remember we will be 6hours apart time wise!!!! Your 6pm will be my 12 pm….I hate being lonely…. so glad got this site by accident!!!
Regards
Mea

Don’t know if you will see this since you posted a few months ago. Anyway, how fortunate are you that you have family who care enough about you to suggest you move back home. I only have a son and his wife. They found out that I gambled away most of my inheritance. I have never asked anyone for anything. They say I have been a burden. They want me to move out of state. My heart is broken. My son will help me, but things will never be the same. Please keep in touch with your family. You are blessed!

I know how you feel. I’m 55 and haven’t found a wife. I’m now resigned to the idea that I’ll never marry and may as well just swallow a bullet than to go any further alone. You, however, are still young yet. While you are young, there’s always hope. Hang in there. You may be pleasantly surprised at what your future holds for you.

Hi Jack I’m 53 and am very lonely and depressed! I feel like my life is over! I don’t even know how I got on this sight and I’m sure I won’t find it again. I just want to wish you the best and hope GOD Blesses you with a long healthy and happy life! I hope you find what you desire Lynn Nazami

Hi everyone, I stumbled onto this blog tonight. I’m 58 and alone. Married 29 years divorced no kids and all my family has now passed. I have a lot of friends but as someone else mentioned it seems there are a lot of fake friends too today. It’s a different world today. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect was a code many of us lived by. Not so much today. I’ve come up with a saying…. friends not friends. Meaning not real friends we used to have years ago. I do have 3 dogs and always had horses but my last one passed at 26 in November. No more horses for me but I’ve always had dogs and they keep me going. Maybe it’s the unconditional love which seems so rare to find in this world today. I am a peer specialist which is a form of a therapist but we have real life experience, often very hard experience ourselves. In other words we just don’t learn from a book. I see a few who have had hard losses. I have too and yes I do understand. Sometimes you have to walk in shoes to really understand many things in life. Hearing the phases you’ll get over it or time heals all pain are just nice things for people to say when they don’t know what else to say. Sympathy and empathy are two very different things. Few look for sympathy what they want is empathy which is understanding. As we all age I think many of us do feel lonely and it’s very difficult to cope sometimes. We have a lot of the same fears but no one to tell or we don’t want to appear weak. But it is straight up honesty, it’s hard to go thru life alone. Our generations here weren’t really built for a life alone and we struggle. The older we get the more losses we have and we carry the pain of those losses. Holidays are the worse aren’t they? So many happy memories but no one to share them with anymore. I’ve thought many times of the old show the golden girls and how much sense it seems to make today. Sharing a home of friendship of men and women, supporting one another, independent yet a sense of a family. Like minded individuals who share same values just wanting a sense of a family who cares. For those who see nothing but loneliness ahead, you are not alone in your thoughts. They are shared by many but what do we do about it? I’m on the jersey border and many here are from all around the country. What do you think about a shared living concept for those who are alone? Do you think we’d be healthier and happier if we lived with others instead of alone? I believe I would feel much better sharing life with others knowing I had support and help if needed.

Hi suzzane (my capital button doesn’t work correctly sometimes). You are quite a bit younger than me (I am retired and could probably be your mother) but identified with much you said. I wrote above about how so many people lately are really so fake (or scared to death you may get to really know what they’re like) and just spout off a lot of meaningless small talk (which gets mighty old).

I am quite alone, live alone tho’ that’s basically ok. what I mean is I was married out here (Ca.) , divorced with one child, a daughter. she’s about six miles from me and is herself divorced with no kids. we love each other dearly but have little to no interests in common, hence, I get lonely and so does she at times tho’ she has some friends having been raised here. I don’t mind aloneness sometimes but really most enjoy time with people (espec. “real” people).

we have no other family here except each other. Holidays are depressing for both of us so we usually grit out teeth and tough it out. I watch “golden Girls” sometimes and think it is a good idea to find pals to live with to help support each other. Wonder if it’s really feasible, tho’. Maybe some people will write and tell us if it is. I even looked into it once out here. Not sure how you go about it. some people already have their family and friends support system set up and don’t seem to be interested in including (or making the effort to include) anyone else into their circle. a lot of people here spend holidays alone for that reason.

feel free to reply to this message if you want. I am in ca. (not really by choice), from Philly, Pa. love animals (espec. horses, dogs and cats), love to laugh and let stupid little stuff go by the wayside. Hope you are doing well these days. claire Owens

Hello, I’m just your age but have no friends nor close relatives left. There are many studies that show how loneliness and hopelessness decrease our physical health. Being so, we should all find ways to live together. The sense of community is really important for our social well being: we all want to be part of something good and joyful. That said, in my country one has to relay upon the biological family net and since I have none, I’m doomed to be alone and on the outskirts of life.

Sorry this is my first time and long.
Hi Suzanne. I am 63 and live on the east coast. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for the loss of your horse. Right now i am dealing with my rescued Maltese of 13 years who has just been diagnosed with cancer and tumors. There is nothing that can be done. The other heartbreaking part of this is, I rescued a Yorkie within 3 months of each other. They have never been seperated. How do you explain where her sister went? It’s ripping my heart out.

I too wake up so lonely every day. I cry for hours. I think of ways to take my life. It consumes me. The pain of lonIiness has become to much for me. It’s only going to get worse. I’VE done therapy, medication, activities. It’s not the same. It’s that connection that people care and you can call on them for help and vice versa. I cant believe my family who we have stuck together our whole life now see me as an out cast. How can your family do that??I have great friends but life has taken us in different ways. I have a daughter, brother and sister that live leass than 30 minutes away. My daughter got made at me for being honest with her and punished me by taking my grandkids away. We were so close our whole life and all of a sudden I am used for a scape goat for something my daughter did. My family talks behind everyones back, lies and my sister has been telling personal stuff to my family that was to be private for years. I never knew. I WAS SO DEVASTATED!! My flesh and blood. I raised my sister from the time I was 12 and then she had to move out at 28 as she was pregnant. There is so much more. I kept us out of foster homes. My sister is 4 years younger brother 19 months older. Of course there is more.

Because I won’t let them tell me how to act, what to think, say, be like them, make fun of me and talk about me behind my back and then not be upset . I am now a trouble maker and there’s something wrong with me.

All my extended family is gone and i would give anything to be with them. When i question my family about why they did or said that they ignore or threaten to block me. THEY ARE THE BIGGEST COWARDS I KNOW!! At least i know i still have integrity, honesty, morals, values, empathy, compassion and kindness in my heart. Having your only family turn against you is not normal part of life. No family holidays to share, hugs, words of love, phone calls to see if your ok, invitation to family events. THE BIGGEST HOLE IN MY HEART AND LOSS WAS MY DAUGHTER RIPPING MY GRANDCHILDREN FROM ME AFTER A LOVING 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I wake up ill every day thinking about the.

Suzanne, sorry so long. I think the Golden Girls and Boys are worth looking into. Family isn’t always blood related….

Suzanne,.
I have been searching for the “family” you describe in your post. I am 63, living outside of Seattle, divorced for 8 years. I have only Social Security Disability as income as I recently had to leave my last job due to spinal issues. Because I can not find a home of lonely seniors, I live in a “sober” home with others having addictions but I am by far the oldest, have no affiliation with addiction and the tenants change monthly. I have no children and siblings are involved with their own families. I cannot live the rest of my God-given life just existing. I lost everything through an abusive marriage and more abusive divorce.
I want to wake up with a purpose. I would like to be in contact with those that are looking to live with others like ourselves. Is it possible that this could be a reality? Although I am grateful to have a roof over my head, I have to believe there is more joy waiting for me.

i just wanted to check on lynn ,knowing how she feels i thought i would try and talk to to help if i could brighten her day a little ,,living alone ,being alone highly depressed at times it seems you dont or you aint gonna go on ,15 years ago i was diagnosed with CIDP,same as MS, same as GUILLEUM BURAY SYNDRUM, all three life long diseases only treatmeants no cures …..before this i was depressed ,i was still dealing with being an abandon child i’ve never been able to completely dismiss it because my biological mother passed before i was able to forgive her so that throws another stick in the fire so i’ve dealing with a bunch issues with my father that just keep escalating ,,,sometimes i dont wanna be here for all the pain i feel from it all many years i ran from it i could be around it ,thought it was closing in on me had to keep moving ,,now with the diseases i cant run no more but i still cant face it all ,started me a small busneiuss and i’m putting 14 ,15 hours a day into it get about 3 to 4 hours sleep a day ,,i dont want to live like this ,,and i’m close to running again ..when i read what lynn had writen i just wanted to tell her i’ll be your freind ..everybody needs a freind ,,if she decideds to acept a freindship i’m gonna list how she may get in touch first of all my name is shawn hughes i am 58 years old i live in va ..

I’m 70 years old been retired 10 ..Married twice 20 years all together..Just want a friendship..Don’t want to get married but they see you own your House and your Car your doing good they want to get Married..I say can we just be Friends and they say I want something more..I say I can’t do it and its Goodbye.I’m along but I don’t FEEL ALONG..My Sister tells me to get a DOG…

Some women of retirement age, have a lifetime of having their own homes, however modest. Things such as fine rolex watches mean nothing to us. Nice for you to have nice things, but that would never impress me. They are not mine, I did not work for them. Therefore I would never date any man who thought that was all that was important to me.
Simple and basic, is all one really needs after all.

I feel the same way, I don’t want a dog, that is what my daughter tells me . Haha ! I just want a friend to travel with and go to events with, so hard to find someone that wants the same. I am in Georgia, what part of the country are you? I am a 67 year old divorced woman, I have lived here for 2 years , I should have stayed in my home state at least I New a few people., now I am here and just don’t want the expense of trying to sell here and move .

Hi Diane – I think you’re the same Diane who answered my earlier blog. I’m Claire from Philly living just south of L.A. (Love horses and you said you have a small ranch in N.C.) If this is not you, you can answer anyway if you like. =^..^=

Hi , I hear you, J am 64 and go days without speaking to anyone , the silence is just awful especially at night… I took early retirement due to illness and now don’t seem to fit in anywhere. I guess my life was at work.. I raised 3 kids who are grown with their own families.. I am in MA and just wondering your location, I am remission of leukemia and now wish I had never retired..

I am just curious. Why do you not want to get married again?
If you are lucky enough to find someone that you care for and who cares for you, why would you not want to share your life? I don’t understand this. Yeah, I’m set in my ways and like to do things a certain way but I figure anyone I would love would also have these traits and yeah, it might be tough adjusting to one another. Marriage can be work but I’d rather be happy than right. I’ve always thought the best way to spend your golden years was in a duplex, the hubby on one side and wife on the other. Just kidding, sort of.
Are you looking just for a friend, or a friend with benefits? What is about being single that makes you want to stay that way?

Hey Willis,
My sympathies. You have been lying to yourself for some time now, because you like your space and freedom and don’t like being nagged. This is why you tell yourself the lies about why women want to marry you.
If you have women to care enough about you at age 70, you have it better than most. Women at that age are not looking to scam you. What they want is for their old fashioned morals to be respected. 70 years ago, women who were not married, but were living with a man were considered less lady like. If a woman loves you, allowing her to marry you is not for what you own outside of your body, its for what you hold inside of you.
Soon as you stop lieing to yourself, you will see I’m right. Maybe, you needed to lie all these times so the next woman that comes along and wants to become an honest woman for you, maybe you’ll say yes, because you will know its love and not money, that brings joy. Best of luck to you.

Hi Di. I am 64 and have arthritis in my hands. I live in Mississippi. We moved here 2 years ago. My Mom died this past September, she was my best friend. I have not found anyone here I feel I could be friends with. I have 4 fur babies. My cats. All rescues. I now live close to my son and grandchildren. They are always busy. I’m happy for them, but lonely. Take care.

Hi
I am Nash, 58, in Ohio, lost my spouse little over a year ago. This adjustment to a new life at this age is full of surprises to say the least. Dating at this age, is even more of a “challenge”. I am just looking for a like minded female to hang out with, do things with that like me, has their act together. Miss the companionship of someone to hang out with. I am very down to earth, no drama, no games, no BS. Exercise, look younger than my age. Like being outside, more of a summer person.
Why is it so hard to find like minded people?

Hello Nash. How are you i happened . To be reading what every one IS writing. About there different sittituations. My name is Yolanda i am single but right now taking care of my aging parents. At a crossroads with my life missing someone in my life too

Hi Nash – just writing to encourage you to just keep on searching. You sound like a great guy (I am a retired senior and am not suitable for you but still know how you feel – long, boring story). There are women out there who would likely love to meet you so don’t give up. Just know that your dilemma is pretty common (but still painful, sometimes). God bless and help you. Claire

To many of the comments, best thing to do is help save and rescue animals. Become lost pet detective. Work, volunteer at animal shelter. The worse you feel, helping one is worse off can bring you comfort and grace.
Good luck and go with God.

Very True! Helping others is certainly a good way to lift one’s spirits. Course we do have to make time for our own needs.
Alone in this world after a lifetime of carring for others, i plan on being the best I can be. This year I’m going to make it a point to get out and talk to many more people, just one more dance and maybe a trip or two.

I agree, I am a 56 year old widowed male with no children, low income and not too many friends. I always feel better when I can help. Weather it’s an animal or human. Helping somebody working on a project. I would like to have more friends but, as we know it gets harder after 50 and being single and no kids. Can anybody point me in the right direction. I live in Smyrna GA. I have looked at a few website for volunteer work. But all they want is donations. I don’t make much money. But I would be gladly to volunteer my time and maybe meet new friends.
John..

Hi John – Read your blog and you sound like a great guy. My heart goes out to you as some of us somehow end up in some pretty lonely and isolated situations. I am too old for you (in my 70’s) but you sound like you could easily be of interest to some woman somewhere. God bless you. Claire

My name is Dennis, Im 49yrs old. Live in NY by myself and I lost my daughter to cancer. My wife divorced me months after the death of our daughter. I still can’t get over losing my daughter I have a great family but its just not the same I’m so lonely at the moment. I believe God does not cause our loved ones to die. Well, By choice I would love to get to know you become a real good friend whatever happens let happen.

Hi Dennis…. Merry Christmas..
I live in Las Vegas….yep, can even be lonely out here…but I seem to make the most out of what I have around me and I am not talking casinos because I never go to them.
Had a beautiful Christmas program last night–lights are great and so is music.
Write soon if you want.
Bee

God bless you Dennis, I pray for the peace of God to be with you. My name is Rosa and I also live in New York. I also know how is feel to loose a family member who you truly love, it was my brother die in 2017. Take care I hope you feel better. Chao

Dennis,
I am so sorry about your daughter and pray for you. I am sorry your wife left you as well. I lost my oldest son to murder 13 Oct. 1990. He was 20. I know how you feel. It has been 29 years for me and I still grieve each day that passes. Dont let anyone tell you its gets easier cause it doesn’t. Time does have a way of day that go by, I may not think of James, but most days he is with me.
No writing you for anything, am 69, just letting you know prayers in my daily wake helps.
God Speed
Linda
Ps my husband left me this past friday after 18 years.

Linda
My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious child in 2001 and thought I would never adjust . In many ways I have not. It was a tragedy, Life Guard talking to the girls and my son slipped away.
No one understands . My stupid brother in law was surprised when I was still mourning after 3 months!!!!
And others gave me a year to “get over it”.
You do not get over the death of you child.
If we returned back to our lives as if nothing happened, then something is very wrong.
This experience can only change you. For better or worse, I hope for better.
You see the world through different eyes. You walk through the chaff until you find someone that understands. The world is so phony. Even many that attend church or synagogue.
Thankfully I have my husband of 40 years and my oldest son. And now a new grandson. I must say, that baby truly lifted my heart .
Life is not about fancy homes and cars, etc. It is about relationships. Real relationships where you feel comfortable sitting quietly with some one, or weeping.
There is so much sadness in this world. And what angers me are the spouses that walk out the door because it is too hard???? Paleeze!
That is what marriage counseling is for.
My faith saved me , even though I first cursed God. He was faithful and I pray you all feel His presence.
Blessings!

hi Linda,im in the uk. My girl(age 20) got killed +dumped +was left to
rot for 6 weeks before police found her. that was 12 years ago.
now my son wont talk to my terminally ill partner ,
so im stuck in the middle of those 2,visiting my son in secret,
pretending to partner im not in contact with son either to keep
the peace. i left home at 16 cos of stepfather abuse +too many
siblings at home. no privacy.lived with an abusive family friend.
im now menopausal,suicidally depressed. ive met too many
deceitful,manipulative so called friends,inc my ex employer
who was secretly getting my girl involved in wrongful activities+he
couldve prevented her death. I think about daughter every
minute of every day +how iv failed as a parent. i should never
have been born.At least Linda you understand some of my hell

i go through.please do not any1 mention ANYTHING to do with
religion. it dosent help. i have no beliefs.i just need empathy ,
understanding which most people nowadays DO NOT have.

I just lost my husband . Would love to just have a buddy in my life. Been married more than once. But I am not looking for a relationship. I am looking for a friendship. I am 59. I know what loss is all about. My husband died with esphogael cancer. It was a tough journey

I do, so much agree. I want friends, platonic relationships. It seems everyone is desperate for a spouse At 65, I do look younger, but have 50 year old men intent on a relationship, which causes problems with female friendships. Would love just a glass of wine and good conversation. Being in a unique situation, not looking for relationship, can actually get lonely!

Hi, I’m 65, widowed to cancer also. Don’t even know where to begin, I really am seeking a platonic relationship, male or female. Everybody is looking for a date. Wish they had friend sites, for those of us not looking for more.

Hi Lorrie…i am looking for friendship. I live in Denver, Colorado, and I am pretty .uch on my own. I am a “youthful” 67 and ha e led a good life…but now i find myself all alone in my big house. Not sure where to turn or what to do. I would like to share my home with someone too. What a lonely girl to do??
Sa dy

I lost my husband last year to a sudden heart attack. I know how hard it is to lose someone close. I know all about the loneliness. I am 54 years old. I am just looking for friends to write to, I’m not looking for a romantic partner on this site.

Hi Dennis, I am so sorry about your daughter.
I am 56 years old widow without kids and would like to meet you and share a friendship.
It is good to have friends, to talk, to listen to you to go for a walk to relieve yourself of loss and grief

Hi Dennis, there are many fish in the ocean, life is to short to be waisted.Your daughter is your guardian angel now,if your wife leave you, her love is not genuine. Pray and do the good thing to others and a good woman from God will be send to you,cheers! This is Lanie from the Philippines., 45 years old widow with 3 snart teen ager son.take care and God bless you.

Dennis sorry for your loss. Its often hard to find the right words to say when confronted with a complete stranger sharing their loss. I’m not sure what to say, well I can say this never been on this page & god must of led me here for a reason.
Keep your head up & know know another comllete stranger listened to your story & wants you happy! we all deserve that!

I lost my second husband of 20 years this summer. He was a big man with a big heart . The last ten years were painful and lonely as he gave in to an eating disorder and depression. No different than any addiction. It takes a toll on loved ones. My first marriage was 27 years long, resulted in five children, and was filled with a combination of alternating affection and verbal abuse.

I understand depression. It has been with me a long time. I have a bachelors in counseling, and just short of a masters in gerontology. But what has overtaken me in the past few months is nearly debilitating. It is not mental. I stay in my pajamas all day. Some days I get a burst of motivation and throw myself into continuing the job of clearing out all my husband’s clutter. I need help getting it all to the car and transfer station. The overwhelming job of cleaning out a garage full of guy stuff and clutter makes me angry. I like not having to answer to anyone about household matters, but the deafening silence is maddening.

All my kids live downstate and work and are raising children. Before we moved to the north our house was always full of kids, grand kids and friends.

I know about volunteering. For the past three years I have been a medical first responder on our volunteer fire department . I am also a writer but have trouble getting around to it now.

Going to the store and roaming around helps. But my cortisol levels are off the roof from years of stress. During the time my husband was in the hospital and for three months after his death I was in an out of the hospital myself with serious intestinal problems, and then surgery. I lost a lot of weight. Now I have very little interest in food, and take frequent naps. What I miss most is affection and companionship.

Dear Janet, I have struggled with an eating disorders and depression for over 30years. So I can relate to your situation. I lost 2 husbands because of my eating disorder/depression. Now I am alone. Very isolated, and find social situations very hard.

I am 50woman I am looking for companionship Perhaps a long term healthy relationship. I look very young for my age very attractive not to sound conceited. Educated masters. I must say in these days and times I do have trust issues expression Li with strange people meet and strange people but I know I have to come out of my confidence own and awarded to continue living my life I feel like I’m dying every day

I am 71 yrs young. I live in Glendale Az. for the past 6 months. Long Story how I got here, but 6 months ago I lived in a small beach town in N.C. My husband and I of 52 yrs. owned a beautiful home, and our surroundings were to die for. We lived there for 20 yrs. Before that we lived on L.I. New York for 30 yrs. When we retired, we moved to this beach town and built a house, and put 20 yrs. of hard work and love to make it what it was. We came to Arizona sight unseen to move closer to family. Our daughter lived in Arizona for 10 yrs. During most of those 10 yrs. we were not in communication. It was only months after we opened channels of communication that she felt we needed to be close to family. She was living hand to mouth, pay check to paycheck. She moved here for the love of her life, which was a disaster. She became pregnant after just months of living with this guy she moved to Arizona to be with. That relationship lasted 2 years. She now has a ten yr old son, and has shared custody with the father. She cannot leave the state because of her son. The boy has many issues and problems. She knew we had money, ( of which we were giving her thousands of dollars while communicating on the phone) and we were convinced that we should be near family. We bought a house, that was viewed on line. Big Mistake!!!! She and her son live in this house with us. What my life was once, is the complete opposite. I was against this drastic life changing move, but my husband too felt the pressure and was convinced, this was the right thing to do. I am so lonely. I have no reason to get up in the morning. This move did not have to happen. We prepared so well, financially to be able to be independent, and we gave it all up. What is the sense of having money. I am a very good 71 yr. old, and I too do not look my age. I have a very young mind, which I wish I didn’t have. None of our friends would believe how we are living, and neither do I. I wake up every morning in disbelief of what we did. I feel so hopeless. alone and trapped. Our daughter is in complete control of our lives. I try to think of a way to get our lives back, but I have too much going against me. So much more to this sad, sad journey. I need to talk and see if someone out there has experienced what I am living.

Hello Janet
I carefully read your posted info o. This site
I’m 59 and live alone. My very unfortunate
Is I was married to a female professional for two years.
I do other her due to selfish angry behavior she was
Never happy and the master manipulator I couldnt even take a phone cazll from my brother and or best friend at any time. Well I was silly enough to remain with her aunt FOUR months ago she tossed my aside nd no real cloture
I could write for hours I know how you feel it’s no better for me. No motivation or care
You are not alone. Mason

Janet – so sorry for your losses. My life is stressful (or was), too, and I know how painful life can be. I am retired (in my 70’s) and if I can be of comfort to you, just let me know (I am very new to this site – one week – and am not sure how you contact people here) but I will leave my e-mail address – foxrest7771@yahoo.com. Do take care and may God bless you and help you. Claire

Hi everyone. I am a 55 year old woman who is baffled by all these comments. I have no health issues of any kind and still attractive enough to turn heads from younger men. I believe that attitude is essential when it comes to aging. I had a business once in an area where all the women over 40 complained about the inevitability of the pitfalls of aging. I closed shop and got out of there super fast. This is a toxic mentality that sooner than later becomes contagious. I am so tired of hearing how some people are “just lucky” to age better than others. In my youth I overcame serious illnesses I learned to heal myself through research of many modalities such as Qigong and diet. Ladies, there are ways to keep yourself up physically and yes sometimes as the years pass you have to do things a little more extreme with diet, etc. As for the social aspect of aging, I would suggest to always engage outwardly for example taking classes,, etc. Also from a romantic perspective let me say that my aunt married her last husband, a multi millionaire, at the age of 72. So you see, aging is not the end of the world for women anymore than it is for men.

Oh Olivia. I’m so sorry you have had these burdens to bear. This earth gig can be a bitch right? The good news is that you get these days ahead of you. Some good, some not so good BUT they are all days. I’ve been married for 39 years now and these past few years have felt somewhat lonely. At the end of the day I’m hopelessly in love with my wife and she with me. We just seem to soldier through it. I’m not sure what happiness means anymore or if it’s even something that can be pursued. So what to do? Well, for me, I do my best to find Joy in anything and everything I can. It might be quick smile from someone I see on the street, or a passing hello, or my sweet little 4 year old Visla dog Stella who makes even my darkest days full of light. Find these precious moments before they are gone each day.

I turned 55 I have been married 37 years. My husband only needs me for a housekeeper and cook. I feel so alone. I have been force to sleep in a room down the hall because he says I snore and he likes a radio on to sleep. I work night shift part time as Registered Nurse I tried working other shifts during my life but I cannot take the overstimulation I suffer attention deficit disorder and do better in small focused environments such as the night shift work. This can get pretty demanding some nights itself. Lately I feel so sad it’s like I see my life slipping away.
I have never been a person who liked running around on the road I basically stay home doing nothing most days well I wait on my husband cooking and cleaning.

Death stares me in the face every day at work and at home as well but death by means of hopelessness. I cannot stand people like the above poster Olivia who thinks it so easy and judges those who cannot see life the way she does.

Dee, I’m in a lonely relationship also and wife has copd and colitis and sex is not her bag. We had the best sex life any person could want and now haven’t had any closeness or sex since 2011 and I’m 75 years old and just as sex minded as I was when I was 20. Think about it all the time and love my wife but need a FWB now in my life. People may say I’m a jerk or something but I can’t stop my feelings for being intermit with a woman. I would love to find a woman that is as lonely as I and I’m a true gentleman, will treat you with respect and dignaty. Just call me lonely. Live in southern Ohio. Bill

Dee I’m with Olivia on some of the things she is saying. Life is one Journey so begin by finding God, go shopping for a church that fits your needs spiritually, which is also part of your health , the rest falls into place because you let your focus be on number one your master. The Omega that fits all needs, great counselor, spiritual mentor, love, physical healer. Once you allow him to be your first priority then all the things you need begin to take place. You have to have focus off of you. Your husband, well there is nothing God can’t change. The duties at home should be something you enjoy because it makes your life easier keeping things in order. It should be split or hire housekeeper. Tell him the budget will have to be out of his activity extras.lol Find things you like to do at least every other week to give you life back You are a problem solver for goodness sake. Make your list of positives in your life and negatives. Then make a plan to pray for the negatives to change what ever that means. By the way I’m a Registered nurse and I am age 61 and a widow. My husband died after a long illness 18 years to be exact. You are in charge of your life and maybe this is a wake up call. Make a list and change the things you can that you don’t like. Prayers.

Hi Dee – I am on this site for the first time and am amazed at all the sad stories, yours included. In a nutshell, I am a senior, divorced , no family support system, friends hard to come by as in Ca. (where I live) especially, people are quite phoney. I am living alone, love people of every kind but live a lonely life because the love of people in general is really quite cold and shallow in our world today.

I am writing you today because you are so very distraught and hurting inside. I hurt, too, but one thing I find helps me fight on and press on is my deep belief that God dearly loves me and cares immensely about my pain (and it is daily pain). This world is a fallen world full of sin, pain, and suffering. But Dee, God so loves you and wants you for His daughter. He can help you bear this. Much of our suffering is our own fault but much of it is because of the sin and selfishness of other people.

My heart goes out to you because, even though I cling to my faith in God , I too, suffer because of what others have done to me. I hope, and am praying for you, that you, too, will give your heart to your Savior (Jesus) and to your Father, who loves you dearly and wants to strengthen you as you face the selfishness of your husband. Giving your heart to Christ will not solve every difficulty in your life – Jesus, Himself, said it would not be easy down here on Earth – but you will have hope at last in One who will one day give you true life as it was always meant to be . Claire

Hi Dee
I understand very well what you are feeling and I am very sure that you are very love and affection given , and my heart goes to you , I am 68 year old man I am treated the very same after 39 years of marriage with it’s ups and downs with the results of flute growing up three men’s and final medical student daughter but back up to 15 years my wife discovered that she cannot sleep because I snore and I haves used every available device and sprays to stop , been asleep I don’t remember or wolkup or kicked by my wife but still complains she can’t sleep
So I have to sleep in the box room for over 15 years on a single bed
Now it has reached the state we do not compuncat at all and I suggest to seek family conuceling and was refused , I feel alone with my family and deep loneliness, missing the empathy, love , companionship and happiness even the family all taken mother side
I only fee I am only a financial security that’s very heartbreaking and disappointment in human race
I am returning pharmacist and I feel I am way into deep depressing state of mind, I feel I will be happy to get out of the house and live alone with the compliance large dogs

Olivia, No offense intended, but just because you have not experienced the same thing as other seniors doesn’t mean they are not real. Due to forced retirement, loss of my home, a move to a different state and miscellaneous health crises I am experiencing a serious social disconnect and I don’t know how to reconnect. Perhaps with your successful life and your great knowledge you can tell me how to do that since you know so much about the individuals who post on here.

Hi Bonnie, I’ve experienced the same serious, and it is serious, social isolation. I’ve never had this before and really struggling with depression. over the last year and has gotten to be a way of life and now it’s hard for me to even get out to go to the store. I miss my friends, everyone has moved way and I am retired with no way to meet anyone. I just wanted to say I know how you feel and if you need support, we could talk.

I am 57 yrs old with an mind of an 18 yr old. Have been through a lot in the last 10 yrs. Am living with my 22 yr old son in an apt for the past yr and a half. He now wants to move on and get an apt with his gf. I am low income and have nowhere to go. I am so alone. My 2 kids are trying to look for a place to dump their mom. I have nothing left to live for. They are the only family I have and I feel like my life is over now. I do not like being alone,yet I will never live with strangers again. I was just starting to feel safe until my daughter got an apt with her guy.My son thought about it and now wants to live with his gf. Which leaves mom out. After all the yrs I raised my kids and sacrificed everything,I am now at a dead end. Literally. The feeling of dread is with me everyday. This became a thing the day after Thanksgiving when my daughter visited us and it seems both of them got to talking.All of a sudden there is my daughter on her phone looking for places to put me. Seriously? I love the outdoors hunting and fishing,animals, classic cars,camping, and traveling. I have so much to give, yet I feel like I am wasting air. It is sad that a person can feel worthless and who has to worry about where she fits in the world. Oh, I’m sure if I won the lottery or had money coming in continuously, it wouldn’t be so bad. But now, I feel I am done. It is a harsh world for people who are about to be left out.

I get it I’m 68 and have been here taking care of my now 94 yr old mother that was a harsh brutal mother to us 4 children I was the black sheep and the only reason I’m here is to take care of mother and I have no place to go but there is live in work which helped me in the past or at least til you get on your feet there are also a couple of places up north to live in a hippy commune and then there is Coolworks.com where you can get a job in a resort setting some have live in facilities and then you can get a small camper or learn to live in your car until something pans out but the live in job is what’s helped me and advertise ….. you get room and board 1-2 days off start socking the money in a bank good luck

App sleep Hi my name is Delors I suffer from I was wondering if anybody could give me any advice I’m 53 years old I live alone I don’t have any family I don’t have any friends. I have 3 children they are older and the stranged living their life do not see much of them. I took for granted raising my children I gave them all a vein I forgot to do anything for myself and clothing a social life noun I’m 53 and alone can somebody please tell me where to the lonely go?

Susan King , Hello ,,
Wow , do I get it , I am 60 yrs young and have been preparing for the thing you face , I also face , how scary can life get !!!! Although I am not rich , I am planning on traveling , I am all alone even though I have a daughter and son , I love them so , but my addiction to them has been money motivated on their parts ,they are WELLL to do should something happen to me , in the meantime , I am going to try to hit the road and be a road Warrior , yuppers !! Time to site -see and wonder in a bit of style , I am a SWF , not looking for any sexual stuff !!!! I am looking for someone who may want to travel and be Thelma / Louise friend , without the running over the side of a Canyon , Lol !! I have the truck and the new travel trailer and the income , I would love to speak , should you think this is up your ally .. Ms. Sami

Hello. You have a wonderful attitude. I have to go to California for a few reasons and drive back east. Do not want to do it alone. Very good references, no smoking etc. I don’t think of myself as senior but a friend said I should check this out and I do admire your free spirit attitude.

I would love to do this, but don’t have a home base or a place to come back to that is home. lost everything in a recent divorce. have some $$$ put away but dont know where to go or what t do. the friend I was living with told me I have tore out by April when she and her husband return for their winter home… I am in a very isolated very cold climate.. I need someone to reach out to me and pull me out. my son is in Seattle with his family… but living their own lives. I can’t afford Seattle on my own… venting here.. sorry.. but Thelma and Louise… sounds great if only I could… I’m turning 60… look younger and am so lonely and afraid

Hi, I am 65 years old. Divorced when my girls were 1 and 4. They were with me 95% of the time, so I never dated… my choice (I guess). I worked from home; they were my focus…along with earning enough to support us comfortably. My social life was wrapped around them, volunteering at school, hanging out with the moms of their friends. I have great memories. But now they don’t have time for me, I’m still working since I helped them out financially over the years.
My job recently screeched to a halt. Much of my socializing was tied to my business. So that has stopped and I just feel too exhausted to make friends, join clubs, etc. also have had to have a couple of surgeries which has isolated me even more.
I want a ‘new best friend,’ or a guy friend to just fall through the ceiling and appear on my bed next to me, laughing and watching a movie.
I relate to feeling stuck geographically (in SW FL).
I feel like I woke up at 65, alone, without a plan for the rest of my life…
I’ve suffered from depression all of my life…luckily I can laugh at myself.
I feel like there are so many opportunities, and yet there are none.
I really didn’t expect my life to be like this! It’s so hard!!

Hi. Rick
I’m in l;ate 60’s, never-married, with a Chiweenie (dachshund+chihuahua) who is my angel dog that got me thru the loss of my beloved parents (there certainly were no humans around who gave a damn.) I rely on God and my little dog and at the moment it seems to be enough. I’m in Central Oregon. Do you want to email ? Three “weiner dogs” – cracks me up just thinking about that !

Hi Susan,
When reading your story I felt a kind of kinship with you, although I have no children. I’m not sure which is worse, having children who make you feel unwanted and unloved or having no one who is supposed to love you.
I too am 57 yrs old and low income. I have no siblings and my parents are in poor health and live 5 hrs away. I am living with a man whom I do not love as a husband or even a boyfriend. The past 11 years have been very rough for me, my “boyfriend” had a major heart attack and now is on Disability. It has been rough for him as well but I feel that I do not exist anymore. His needs have always come before mine and now more than ever.
I work a full time low paying job and live in a 40 year old mobile home which used to be his mothers, so I too am struggling with depression and feel like I am stuck in my situation. I cannot abandon him because I would not want anyone to do that to me.
So what do we do with ourselves?
I’m not a very religious person but I do believe in God and am trying to leave it all in his hands and praying that my future will not be as bad as my present. I feel that’s all I can do.
I will pray for you as well, hang in there! Hopefully everything will turn around for both of us real soon.

Hi Susan,
Saw your letter on Senior Planet. I’m feeling for you, believe me. I’ve just lost my wife Nov. 16th of this year and am still in disbelief but trying to return to my routine. Thankfully I have 2 wonderful daughters who are watching out for me continually. It’s hard for me to understand your children treating you that way.
Feel free to write me if you’d like. I would like to know how you are doing.
By the way I’m not young but I don’t feel 73 and I’m in good health and enjoy my life.
Sincerely, Richard

Pleaser remember this….emotions are like the ocean. They rise and fall but the waves keep coming. Your life keeps coming. What happens if you decide I won’t let life just happen to me here. I’m going to get proactive and find a way to start a new adventure in life. Maybe it’s a business of your own that starts from a little taco stand like Chipotle. Maybe it’s a diary that turns into a book. Purpose in life will find you if you’re only willing to seek it. Be like a dog to a bone on this one. Until the Almighty pulls the trigger to bring you home you’re not done! Pursue life and be relentless about it. The opera isn’t over till the fat lady sings and I don’t think you’re that gal K? GO FOR IT! You’ll find a new happiness will overcome you that you thought was never possible. Trust me, I know.

Hi Tony, thank you so much for your inspiring sensitive words. They resonate so much. At the moment I struggle with lack of confidence and turn to spiritual books for comfort and reflection. Thank you again

Hello Susan my name is Delores . I am in exactly the same place you are I am very lonely I live alone I don’t want to be alone looking for friend if you are interested in converse and I’m going to leave my email feel free to contact me I know what loneliness feels like it’s just another day of despair you have to look forward to it’s a horrible place to be alone.

Shuttles in Lafayette right near category. Except I’m not homeless I lost my wife 5 years ago. I live in California and I just couldn’t afford expensive lifestyle in California. So I moved back east the Missouri was born and raised Perico to my son’s here and I have one son. And we’re close but the only problem is he has his life. And I understand I don’t feel comfortable moving into it. So I live by myself. I love fishing hunting classic cars that’s what I was into four years. I’m 73 I was married 51 years. I never 7 days. And we got married.Yes and it definitely gets very lonely for me I am 73. I said I don’t look at but that’s beside the point. Definitely don’t have a 73 mind. It all turns out to be a scam because they want me to send money..

I agree. Holidays can be difficult to get through. When you’re an empty nester and feeling all alone such as myself. It would be nice to have someone to talk to and possibly go places. I am 59 years old and still working a full-time job. I find it very challenging to meet others.

Hi Jeni
I am 72 also live in Illinois Trying to decide what I want to do with my life to. I have my Dads house which I am working on to sell Not sure what I want to do . Have a hard time meeting others also .
You say you are outside of Chicago . Is that north or south I live
Lake Summerset
A lot of people from Chicago have second homes here or retired here.

Hi Mary: I would love to be in contact with you. I am sorry about your marriage. I had one like that. My daughter is also estranged off and on. I have a son who I am in contact with several times a week. I am 65, single and live alone and get lonely, too.
Susan

Hi, my name is Andrea. I live on Long Island in Nassau county. I too am in estranged relationships with 2 out of my 3 girls. However, I have an empty nest life and in a very estranged marriage. I am very lonely and looking for people to become friends with and just talk. I am so alone. I don’t know where you live but I hope you see this letter and just maybe we can become great friends. By the way I am 63 yrs. old. That might be too old for you but I can still relate. Hope to hear from you soon. From, Andrea Brown. I’m

Ok ladies. I’m 60 years young. My husband in a nursing home since 2009. I’m not interested in dating. I was in live but I’ve been grieving him ever since his diagnosis in 1988. We married in 1981. Had our son in 1984 had our daughter 1988. In 1992 my husband. Old no longer do his own adl’s , I was his sole caregiver and I was the financial provider to my now adult , married, successful children. In 2004 i I was found to have a rare cancerous disease( a genetic issue on the part of one of the biological donors my mother slept with turns out the other kids were fine. I’m estranged from my small family my mothers preference. Turns out 2004 had me in sloan for two surgeries my son then 20 in 2005 had his surgeries he has the same thing and then my daughter then 17 surgeries in 2006 . I
2007 husband had a heart attack while stair skating and we kept taking care of him at home. He learned to do life all over again but now the dementia from chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis was so controlling. I couldn’t ask my daughter for the help he needed n my son well too much. The ostrich left. Both kids incredibly married n both my children are extremely successful. They have their own friends, watch their health n keep all their appointments with the life long mists at sloan Kettering n.y c. Yes; we laugh, we’re grateful! I did several years with chemo it doesn’t help. So I have a central pic li e because I gave up the port after an infection with my port. It was an infection I could do nothing about . It came from my body disliking the Hubert needle. So life has been a tad rough. I worked until 2 years ago. That’s when Mayo in Rochester Minnesota accidentally perforated my only left small intestine. Yes my daughter was told I wasn’t going to survive yet I did. I can’t work I have an 8 hour hydration infusion 7 days a week to stay alive. My ileostomy from my mayo surgery requires the help of htdration. Talk about a drag. My kids successful married and happy with something I lost while a caregiver and mom: FRIENDS and get this mantra are their colleagues close to my age. However I’m told u need to find my own friends! I did parenting correct, they are independent, happy despite it all. All of our lives have been invaded by illness that came as unwanted visitors to over stay their visits to our bodies. We move forward. I’ve done it all. What I’ve been in sear h of is friendship. I’m not interested in inserting myself into any male persons life. I’m interested in friendships to last my lifetime, to laugh, have fun, shop, talk, just be real. I don’t dabble in social media as I found it to be more detrimental than positive for me. Either there is too much coupling, family happy together( I dont have) friends that out did me with success, timeshares, early retirement ( women look at me as a threat) really. I can’t believe it myself. The others I can’t keep up with their lifestyle so they left me. I’m funny as hell given a chance, creative and just want to live life not exist. So if you have room on your friendship list I live on the East End of Long Island. For Christmas I would live a friend or friends to talk . I feel like I’m on an isolated island. How could this happen ? There are so many people in this world and I’m friendly it’s just not enough. Also, I’m told I look younger than my years. My heart feels high spirited n happy when I dont feel so alone. Mt daughter doesn’t have time for me between marriage, her life, her friends her career, her home, her husband( not in that order) I’ve tried various meetups but the ones I’m interested in for friendship state on line their “meet ups ” are full. Their membership three people. Seriously? I’m not in favor of traveling to n.y.c. it’s just not me, I don’t want to hang out at fast food joints. Other than that I’m an open book. No mysteries. My only con tact now is a phone conversation weekly with a woman , 80 yrs. Old who won’t leave her home. She has no interest .she has a gaggle of grandchildren and growing numbers of great grandchildren. My children can’t have their own children. So no grandchildren for me. I wish for grown up friendships without it being my daughter who is too busy. So if you like keep me in mind

I am in a small town in NE Ohio. Would love to meet people my age. I am a 62 yr old woman who keeps myself up, church goer, love the outdoors, love animals especially my dogs, like fishing, camping, yard stuff. I have had a crappy adult life. Never have known what real love is like as I never had a good marriage or a good relationship with a good man. I was adopted too so I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I moved here to be closer to my kids but rarely hear from them. I have no friends here except for my church family. Nothing here for people to socialize. There is a senior center but they are way older than me and all know each other.

I read thousands and ten-thousands of comments from people who are very sad to be alone yet none of them has been trying to contact the others to form a group and move to another town together and live in the same building or neighbourhood. Lets discuss our needs and capabilities, find a place and a life style that will be suitable to everyone in the group and work towards to realize it. Living in another country can be a good option also.

Okay, I go first and give you an email address that I can discard if I get replies from some sick people, its worth to try:hkcomeandgo@gmail.com

I am a female senior, divorced and living alone. Absolutely no romantic connections.

Hi, I’m a 55 yr old woman never married no kids and a medical professional. On paper probably look great. I make friends easily but through rhenyears treachery or something losing contact has. Lost them alll. I have no one to call when I need to talk. Prove a is huge part of,it. Fear is a huge Part or it. HwT to do ina few years a.one and a woman whose no real physically strong living in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention I’m an lonely and depressed and anxious as a person can be. Modern medicine has been a joke.

Is this it ? I’m so scared and my 2orst nightmare actually happened. I’m your 20 and 30’s you know deep down you still,have a chance , I feel my chances are gone. Huge student loans. Renting so no paid off mortgGe as I should have.

I’m so damn lost. To meet me you’d never know it..

My dog of 8 years just died a long sad dec.ine with demetia.

I Can’t seem to get interested or focused enough to really build some hobbies but flowers did help this summer but now it’s grey for the next 8.months in upstate ny.

No baby (my dog). Nothing to hold my interest . Menopause brain.

I’m no good for the online thing. These men see me coming a mile away plus I am in too bad of shape to even think about it.

I feel us women who are mostly normal with major issues and over 50 are screwed.

Patti, I’m certainly almost exactly in your shoes. I am retired medical professional. After leaving work and my babies (2 kitties) I have no family n or friends. Differently, I married nine years ago. Think I was looking not to be alone n have a partner later in life. To my surprise two years in I found out he’d fooled me and is adult Asperger’s autism. It’s horrible of horrible. He had health issues and of course I jumped in. That became my life, an extension of work, getting his health issues resolved. I was so busy even after autistic diagnosis, getting his health fixed I paid no attention to losing my life, friends, hobbies and activities I enjoyed. There’s too much of that except to say I was his primary caregiver and many said that’s why he married me…He never was a partner as I wanted in marriage and financially after retiring early, I need his income to stay in my house until I can sell it and then move n separate. He’s told me he’s going with me because he’s got nobody… well life has gone to nothing. For a while I went to a church I loved but he hated how close they were and we went to another place. There I never had friends n no resource info. I’ve settled into doing nothing almost daily except think how can I find myself again or should I. Depression n anxiety drive me further into isolation. A therapist had me join group at senior center but those folks aren’t me. I have nobody to call n talk for real. I used to love cooking but that became a burden cause he’s out of control n eats all in sight yet doesn’t cook or know how. I got hurt bringing n groceries last May cause too heavy fir him n him so so slow. Surgery to fix my quad tear started even more down spiral. He just went completely far out that I get nothing. He’s ruined my house I had 36 yrs before him immaculately. He complains about money cause no paychecks from work but refuses get part-time job. I did go back for a while but coming home to him ended that. There’s so much I don’t want to bore you. I just want you to know you’re not alone n spirit. To me having spiritual life is great yet I need contact n socialization I had easily before. Finally I tried a senior community n was told too expensive and I’m too young fir most….I’m lost now n dejected. Live on East coast near Washington DC. Don’t know how to connect if you’d want since this is public site. Perhaps if we reply again I’ll share email if you ok w that. Reading your info helps I still know need to do something as well as talk.

Hi Patti. I can very much identify with your note. I am 63, have had some spine issues and very limited in my activities. Before this happened about 7 years ago I was traveling as a RN consultant in the medical field, I had a big circle of friends, children who loved and respected me, grandchildren, and a husband. Since my medical issues began I’ve not been able to do the things I used to, and my friends drifted away until there was no one left. They all loved me when I was entertaining, and when I was down – they lost interest in me as if I were bringing something negative to their lives because I had to spend so much time at home or in bed.

My children used to think i was smart and contemporary, and I was always doing nice things for them like help them with money issues, babysitting, and making family dinners. Once I became unable to offer them anything, they began to treat me in a condescending manner, acting like my texts or calls were a bother and they just were gone as I had nothing to offer. Now they respond to anything I say like I am ridiculous, roll their eyes, tell me they do t have time for me, and say hateful things as if they are annoyed that I bother them. I’m amgry about that. They have take been happy to take all my money, but now that I have no money and can’t stand up long enough to make a meal. For thanksgiving coming up they are al coming to my house. I’ve told them it’s very hard for me to make a meal and that I can’t stand up for long, and not one of them offered to bring a dish, but they are bringing their families. I feel used. They talk about me like I’m a fool, often to my face, and they call only when they need something. They ask me to babysit even though, even though I can’t handle it for any length of time. They are very rude and condescending and disrespecful. If i say anything about their behavior I just get hateful responses.

I have a husband, but he barely speaks to me and when he does, he says the same three sentences every day, has began making all the decisions without my input. He travels every week and takes female coworker out for meals and flirts, but of course lies to me, and for some reason I’m always made to feel like the jerk if I say anything about his lack of interest in me.

Overall, it’s been very hurtful to discover I don’t have anyone who loves me enough to Include me in their lives when I have nothing to offer. Like you, I sometimes just want to end it. Am falling asleep but would love to know if you could use a pen pal. Maybe we could be that and help each other out. I’m going to send this before I fall asleep, but let me know if you’d like to write. Take care. Hope we can communicate and give each other someone to talk to. Take care, hope to talk soon.

I read your letter. I understand how you feel. I have lost so much lately as well. My once in a lifetime dog Buddy died 3 years ago and I miss him every day. Losing him was harder than the death of my parents and brother. I just got a rescue senior dog whose owner had died. She was in a shelter for 9 months. She is so happy now and so happy when I come home. It has helped me immensely. Adopting a kitten if you like cats could help you as well. It was just my first thought for you.

Hi friend,
I, too, am 63 and in a loveless 34 yr old marriage. My husband is married to screens, and spends all his time away from work in front of them. Together, we have three grown sons who have gone on to make lives for themselves. Whilst the boys were young I spent all my energy and time focusing on being the best mom I could. My spouse was not a co-parent but enjoyed his solitude as he appears to do now. He earned the money and I did everything else, cook, clean, child rearing, yard work, etc. Now that my sons are grown and on their own I feel as if there is a huge void in my life. The spouse and I live in the same house but never communicate, ever. Everyday, I feel like I am going crazy from isolation, loneliness, despair and depression. There aren’t many options for me to try and bring joy into my life. Being able to chat with ppl my age in similar situations is a comfort, though.

I am a 67 yr old woman. My husband of 30 yrs took his life16 yrs ago. He had severe bipolar disorder and in as much as he was the love of my life it was exhausting. I have no interest in going down that road again. I got a dog and 2 cats after he died and they saved me. I literally don’t know what I would have down without them. Of course they became my babies but that’s ok. I’ve now lost the dog and one of the cats but my last cat and I are hanging in there. Pets can be a blessing.

I am recently retired and have moved from a city to a small town. I am living in my step-daughters remodeled garage. It has been a challenge with the move and settling in. The problem is there are no senior centers/ activities in this area and I’m talking about within 45 minute drive except those that are religious oriented which I am not intersted in. Its hard to develope friendships without some social outlet.

I do alone fine. My life was so crazy with my husband that the peace and quiet are great. I can easily hermit down into my little apartment and let the world go by. But I don’t think that a great thing for me.

I just found this website and feel for so many that write here. I know about depression and feeling as if everything is always focused on what “they” (husbands, boyfriends, kids etc, take your pick) need and want over yourself. The problem is there are no easy answers. Than God for the cat.

I’m a recent widower myself – Lost her to Alzheimer 2 years ago and I feel strong enough to make one or two contacts out there.
I’m Rodney Sulch, from Chiswick Illinois (born and raised) but moved to Canada for work (with the NATO organization). I’m flexible and won’t mind relocating for the right One.
I’m just a traditional laid-back guy seeking He’s Other Half. A great Companion can sure be priceless.

I k now how you feel I lost my husband in a terrible accident in april of 17 im so thankful my dogs lived I at least have them but it is not the same as having human companionship I feel soo lonely my family thinks I should spend my life alone live for me they say but they never come around or invite me to any activities I do not know what there reason is for that thinking

If you would just like a friend for now, I think men in general, are more fun to be with than women although there are some good women friends out there (My best friend and I have been friends for decades and I love keeping in touch with her tho’ she’ s far away).

I am a female and turning 62 in a few months. I have no family/friends anymore and feeling more alone than I have ever felt before. I wouldn’t mind finding some penpals/phone/text buddies. If interested in becoming friends please let me know!!!

I am a young 70 year old man who stays active and busy. My girlfriend just died a few weeks ago and my greyhound just died on Sept 19, 2018. I have a servant’s heart but I am really lonely, a need some companionship and refuse to go on a dating site

Hello Karen, i have been thinking about penfriends for a while now, i was thinking of the old fashioned pen to paper sort.
I live in England Uk, am 61 too.
I have four adult children who have their own lives and so empty home as i am many years separated, oh and i have a dog that i adore.
Karen, I won’t make a big thing of it, it would be just nice to get a letter like the old days, nan or grandad or penfriend, never get these anymore. Electronic has taken it.

Greetings Pam writing to you from west central Indiana the Terre Haute area. My mother took het life at the age of 37. I was 7 then now 59 trust me when I state you feel like doing the same. Life is too short and it an or s9lve anything. My mother was a concerpianist. Drop me a line if you care to?

I just turned 60 i wasnt blessed with a decent family of origin i divorced two abusive men.i raised classically selfish daughters of the its all about me generation Theyve been to jail addictions and one dropped her adhd fetal alcohol effected child on me with severe behavior problems and diappeared to do more drugs.Ive tried church and been to sereval i dont belong and frankly its the man show all over again .churches largely ignore older women.i have a number of serious health issues.I am introvert by nature but even introverts get lonely.I think aging in this day and age is for the birds .men around my age are jackasses who dont want an older women these old geezers want a 40 yr old.they had a shitty entitled attitude.and dont respect women only young and pretty need appy so i wait …i dont care about living anymore existing is more like it

Karen – I just typed a whole reply to you but it disappeared so I’ll try again (tried to leave name, etc. but clicked myself away from my message.) I know how lonely you can feel when few if any, family and friends are not around. It seems to be harder to make good friends when you get older and I, for one, though I have many interests, don’t like doing things by myself only.

Most people thrive best with a strong support system of caring family and friends, women especially need this. We are wired to be with men and family and to have some girlfriends and men friends in our lives. I know I miss my ex-family and the few family members I have are 3000 mi. away across the country. My only family is my daughter – we love each other dearly but truly do not have many interests in common. Thus, I do without.

Hi
I live in Ontario, Canada and oh my I can so relate..I live in a very neglected marriage..in fact I have been living like this for years.
I have two beautiful little grandchildren..
I would very much like to meet people who also can relate and perhaps live close enough to meet for coffee.
I’m 72..and so much lack attention..some compassion and just pure friendship.
If you wish to contact me
My name is Beth

So sorry for your loss. It surely magnifies the holiday blues. It makes me sad to see so many of us as we get older feel so alone. We all have a story but yet so many are similar. Holidays are very tough for me. As our children grow up they live in a me world. I hope my grand children do not hurt my own daughter as much as she has hurt me by shutting me out of her life. It would help to know what she shut me out for but I believe she is just unhappy her self and takes it out on me. I seem to have a good life on the outside but it is very lonely on the inside. Come on January help me get through this. Living in Florida should be wonderful but yet it’s so lonely.

I no the feeling im 62. Looken too meet a nice lady.im from ohio also i enjoy being.with. my.grandkids and my daughter and i also.enjoy the things u do i been divorce from my ex wife 2 year’s. Now. I know the feeling of being alone if it wasn’t for my grandkids i dont know what i would.do.im on.facebook if.u.would like too talk.

Hi, I read your profile. I’m a lonely married for 23 years female seeking friendship. I just want a friend whom I can vent to from time to time and will not use my kindheart. I’m from Charlotte, NC and just seeking a honest loyal friendship.

HELLO WHERE IN OHIO DO YOU LIVE? I AM IN HEARTVILLE OH> I ALSO LIVE ALONE. I TRY TO STAY BUSY BUT I STILL FEEL ISOLATED IF I DO NOT GO OUT MOST EVERY DAY. I LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING DO TO KEEP ME BUSY. NOT UNHAPPY BUT WISH MY LIFE HAD MORE MEANING.

Hi, Anne I live in NW Arkansas–moved here alone sight unseen–lovely place to live but I find it hard to meet people. I am single, never married and no kids and I live alone. I have long term issues from a serious car accident and I am not as mobile as a lot of people my age. Basically estranged from all my brothers and sisters except for one brother and all my life long friends fell away due to moving, alcoholism ,whatever. Sometimes I feel I am drifting in outer space with no gravity. I have lots of hobbies and I can spend lots of time alone happily but do long for deep connections. I do have two friends here that I feel good about but want a wider network and it seems many come for a while and then don’t work out

Hi Suzanne, also live in southern Ohio and just love to be friends. You may be wanting a younger person to be friends with but I’m 75 and still feel like I’m 25 but you know how that is, that only a mind thing but keeps me young at heart. Still married for 52 years but wife is not interested in me sexually anymore because of copd and colitis but just looking to chat and maybe lift someone up and become friends. If interested I have email and phone or FB. Bill

I am going to be 65 in a few weeks. I have been disabled since I was 52 I am alone. a widow who had no children. I am alone, lonely , broken, sad and broke. I live pay check to pay check. I long to live some where a lot warmer than Michigan. I have been around death a lot in my life and taken care of four of my own family. Now I am afraid that I will die alone. What do I do?
..

Sorry about all your pain and losses I lost my first wife and went back home to take care of my mother for 18 years just lost her thus year 91 years old got married again last year lasted one year she left me .I’m in tenn trying to get back to Florida I’m 72 years old,would love to chat with you do you have a Facebook or e mail

Hi Lorraine Was saddened by your story but after reading many of these notices, it seems our culture here in the U. S. is proned to abandon their own (family and friends). The Bible says it’s not good for a man to be alone (including women of course) but many people, including family especially, seem to grow colder and colder regarding their concern for others. I am quite alone now. My family support system is very weak (two bros’ and best friend are 3000 miles across the country) . People here are nice enough on the surface but stick to their own support systems like glue – older people don’t seem to be willing to “let you in” to their tight knit family and espec. friend “circles”.

You may be interested in the results of an Older Bloggers Survey—I was. The friendships and social life in the world of older bloggers was their second most important reason for blogging, and was mentioned again and again in their comments. They may be virtual friendships but they are powerful and positive. Older people (like myself) seem to find blogging far more comfortable than other social media networks such as those on Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest. Lots of discussion here, if I’m permitted to include a link: https://writeintolife.com/the-older-bloggers-survey-2018/

All the lonely people. I need a new city or town to live out my senior years. Los Angeles and all California are too expensive for me now, even though I was born and raised here. I will have to leave all the past I know and start over. Are you living somewhere you love that is welcoming to new comers who are no longer young? Any suggestions for me? Thank you friends.

Gena….btw, I spent a few months in a mobile home park on the main road in Alamogordo in the 1970’s. As you said, it was low cost and low crime and didn’t see any snakes or scorpions as I was warned about. :)

Buck Eyecreek, , I’ve actually been considering CA as I’m in need of cosmetic procedures and the best doctors for me all seem to be there. However, for now exploring the DE shore areas and want to meet fellow unlimited life extensionists there or considering spending any future time there.

hello lonely lady i am a lonely widower living in a wonderful town in Arkansas in the beautiful Ozark mounts i am a very nice looking 77 yrs. young man i have a beautiful home big. you will love it hear i think i plan to be married in January but you will be welcome in my home until we can find you a place to live that you will like Jackie Smith Bentonville, Arkansas home of wall mart.

Hello, when I sell my house in rural Michigan I will move to Greensboro NC and have an apartment. It is not particularly expensive and there is a lot to do there. i am passing along my plan in case it suggests something to you as well.

Hello Yvonne where do you live? I am 62 years old, living in Miami. I don’t know but lately I am feeling so lonely and alone.
very worry. sometimes I need someone to talk.

I would like to hear from you again.

Martha T

Hi Buck: Check Miami area, you may love this city if you love the sunshine and the ocean.
If you look on Collins avenue or Ocean Drive in Miami is very expensive but you can find Comdominiuns in the same
area one block distance to the beach with very good prices.
I love Miami, I live nearby. I am 62 years old and still working. By the way, I am not a realtor.

Hi
I live alone in Portland , I moved here a year ago to be close to my son who promptly moved away.
I have no one and I do get very lonely. My dog died 4 months ago, I keep busy but there are times when I just long for company. Im 73 and being old happened so fast
Yvonne

Hi Yvonne;
Since I feel the same way you do, there might be some merit in exchanging emails?
I live in So. California (Ventura), very lonely, but full of life. Would like to exchange ideas, maybe visit each other?
I usually spend the month of May and October in the Olympic Peninsula, renting a lake house.
I am in my seventies. Ursula

Yvonne, my name is Bill and I will chat with you anytime. I’m married but need a womans friendship. I’m on most medias, email Phone messinger and Fb. Would love to hear from you sometime , I’m a young 75 yo. I live in southern Ohio.

Hi, I’m 60 years old with a 16 yr old only child! Moved out of NYC after retiring 5 yrs ago. I live in Fayetteville NC now. Worked as a teacher for 31 years and I am a single Mom. Obviously my child is now at an age of impending independence, so I have been on the lonely side of things. I don’t know if I’m looking for a relationship so much as friendship with a guy. Definitely not looking for marriage! Dating sites are awkward as you don’t write in your profile “ love long walks , but oh yeah, can’t really do it anymore.” Physical limitations catch up with us all, some sooner than others. But I still like to vacation, go out, etc. Just “with who? ” is the issue.
If you’re close by and want to meet for coffee, let me know.

I’m 64. I have health issues so that I’m not always able to be out and about. If I go grocery shopping once a week it’s a big deal. Sometimes I can manage to go to the movies but it’s just not the same going alone. I try to keep my mind sharp; I’m an avid reader, a writer and a beta reader. I have online friends, but nothing replaces being able to actually be with someone and hear their voice and look into their eyes, and have a good laugh together.

I feel pathetic at times because loneliness strikes randomly. I’m not sure where to go from here. I can’t do more than what I’m doing now, physically. So how do I meet people?

Hi Debbie
I’m almost 68 years old I’ve lost my husband recently. We had been married for 46 years. I have two children and three grandchildren but they don’t bother very much( I’ve only seen my son once this year.
Everything I need to do is overwhelmingly difficult because I too struggle with a chronic back problem.
Iwould love to be able to talk to y more if that’s what you want. Not sure who can see this so don’t knohow to go about this.
Anyway it’s even nice to share a little bit.
Hope you will maybe talk to me again.
I enjoy reading and talking on phone to friends and going out as much as I am able.
I hope we can speak again
Ann

I’m 62 and live in Port St. Lucie Florida. My grown children moved out of state. My husband works very long hours and I’m so lonely too. Can’t afford to retire yet. We moved to a new neighborhood months ago and everyone keeps to themselves and it’s so quiet. I’m going out of my mind daily trying to figure out how to get out of here.

Hi Ann Garrard and everyone! Hope you all are hanging in there. I too am very disabled from a orthopedic spine problem. but am able to exercise, sit a little, stand a little if I don’t stand still and can sometimes walk over 30 minutes, IF I haven’t strained my back lately. Looking forward to the anti-aging stuff that’s now in the experimental stages. It may be able to help with our back and many other problems with aging. You know what they’re saying?! — that almost all diseases and conditions are caused by aging — some even before we’re born! I’m sure a lot of you guys have heard of telomeres, an aging marker. They say we all lose 1/3 of them when we’re born! So the anti aging may help children and the unborn.

Hi, I am 73 years old and am divorced after 28 years being marriage. I lost a lot due to divorce and getting ripped off by contractors who were supposed to fix a home I purchased. I don’t have much money. He got most of our things. I am now living in the state I was divorced in, which is the same state we were married in. I left him and filed for divorce five years ago. I am now regretting the divorce. We still talk, but he says he doesn’t want us to be a couple again. I have no family for friends here, I have only been back here for one month. I am so lonely I can hardly stand it. I can’t get pass leaving him and filing for divorce. I want him back, but don’t think that will happen. I live in Henderson Nevada and need to find some sort of help. Maybe a good friend also. Anyone have any ideas?

Gracie, I’m not anywhere near Nevada, but if you can get to the point where you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you, it may help but I don’t know why he doesn’t want to be with you so I’m kind of lost when it comes to helping with this issue. As for just being alone, if you’ve seen my other posts on here, you know I hate the idea of being alone, especially living alone.

Gracie don’t regret the divorce. I am sure you had good reasons at the time. Being alone at an older age is hard well after a divorce it is hard at any age. I think sometimes it is easier to look back at the relationship and try to gleam something good in it than to hope for the possibility of a good relationship in the future.

Being an older women is not for the weak. With the ratio of women to men being uneven as we age I think we have the right to be concerned but not necessarily hopeless. There is a site called Meetup. It is not a singles site but an interest site where people can get together and do things like movies, crafting whatever. There is not cost to sign up other than what the event might cost. They have groups all over the world. I go to a couple different groups.

That’s how my children treat me to after my husband passed away in2013! I have no one plus I never learned to drive so I go out once a month to get meds and food! I am looking for friends to talk to and smile with I have not smiled in years

I am 78. And alone. Ex with another woman. 54 yr old daughter living w me now. But with her work I get left far behind. I have serious back pain and frontal lobe brain atrophy. I am purely miserable. Hardly can go out much. Discouraged. Guess all I have is God. /Pat

I’m not sure if we’re replying to me or not! I was in a car accident when I was 16 when I get in the driver’s seat of a car all I see is the red 18 wheeler coming at us, I wasn’t the driver! And I see the jaws of life cutting me out of the car. At 55 I have never forgot those images I don’t like to ride sometimes and with new drivers and people it’s not a safe feeling at all!?

I am also in need of people to have conservations with – I’m widowed and elderly – in good health, active – still drive but just live alone and only have TV for companion – not interested in dating – just a friend

I need someone like you in my life! I’m 55 widow and can’t do much after having 2 back surgeries and 2 neck surgeries! I need a friend! I’m miserable liveing with my sister how verbally abused me all the time.

Hi Jamie Lee. Would love to chat with you. I’m married but you can never have too many friends. I love to listen and sometimes give a little advice. I’ve been married 52 years but very lonely with wife being sickly. I’m a young 75 yo. Don’t know how old you are but if you need a smile or someone to console you then I’m your man. Have email, phone or messinger. Bill

Hi all,
I’m a 58 year old woman who lives alone in N.Y. I have been divorced for many years. I have tried different dating sites, but nothing has worked out for me. I’m wondering if there are men and women who live close by who would like to get together for coffee, lunch, whatever. Thanks

Hi Debi – I’m in my 60’s and recently retired. I have 2 children, but do not see them often – though they live in the state. I live on Long Island. Where in NY are you? If fairly local, I’d like to meet for cup of coffee or lunch. What do you say? I am looking to make new friends – it’s very hard to make friends at this age – btw I have been divorced for over 10 yrs so I am single.

Hi Lisa…….Im on Long Island also, Im 63 and divorced now for 12 years. I hate living alone. I have 2 daughters and thats about it. Im at a point in my life where I feel stuck and dont know what to do . Im feeling depressed about everything in my life. If you want to meet up for lunch etc …. let me know. Im in Suffolk co. :) Carrie

Hi I’m in NYC and NJ but stuck up in the boonies near Cornell U in Ithaca. I’m trying to sell my house to get back to civilization down the shore. I haven’t had good pizza in 10 years. My husband left me and my mother was buried yesterday. I have never been so scared. My rescue dogs, cat & turtle keep me alive.

Hello Maureen, I am 54 in phx az. My 1st time on this site or any site announcing the emptiness inside. I didn’t say how old you were but all the same I’m sorry you lost your mom. Has been over 18 years and I still wake myself up at night shouting for her. But what really caught me about your comments but the fact that the dogs cat Turtle keep you going ever me also is my dog three cats that adopted me and my hundred fifty pound tortoise who has is on the fork to eat with yes I said Fork then he doesn’t pick it up he expect you to hand it to him. As I sit here right now my little dog he’s been having a hard time breathing for 3 days now the vet on Friday take him some antibiotics it’s only come back in a week but I couldn’t wait a week cuz he’s breathing like 90 breath in a minute. It took him back in today we did blood work some of the test will be back tomorrow. The vet thinking valley fever I’m thinking congestive heart failure but I’m hoping not these tests were mainly roll out valley fever and tick fever. But I just had to get back with you but I was reading and saw that the cats and the dogs and turtle keep you going. But hey you’re from New York-New Jersey area you’re tough a bit and you’ll be okay

Sue – Is your dog okay ? I so hope so as I know I panic every time my little angel coughs or throws up or something. I pray your little friend is all right.
So funny about your huge tortoise !! And I thought I was weird having guinea pigs – I love the way they “Wheeek, wheeek,” at me ( but only if I wait too long to feed them.)

I’m sorry for the loss of your Mom – it is like no other loss. I, too, have just my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs for company and find they are more attentive to me than most people have ever been – unfortunate state of the world today !

This I think is for Maureen. Don’t understand my computer. Writing to say I fear losing my husband and mother every day. We are all disabled to some extent, all in different ways. None of us are able to do much physical work. I’m probably the healthiest of the 3 of us. Mom and my husband are not actually ill but husband says he has no energy due to fatty liver and he’s hunched over and won’t go to a doctor to find out why. He does need a shoulder replacement, which he doesn’t want to get and I doubt it’s a matter of life and death. Mom is in good shape for her age, as she looks very young for her age (she had a little cosmetic surgery many years ago), and drives a Ford Expedition, which takes some strength to get in and out of. But any time, there could be bad news and I worry. We are all life-extensionists but we are not all that disciplined with the lifestyle. (Look up “longevity escape velocity” for more about life extension.) AND do far there is NO real anti-aging available! I have no children, no siblings, no local family, no local friends, just a small family in South Carolina, who I see yearly, and just a clan on father’s side who I talk with but haven’t seen since the 1980’s. I do not drive and don’t want to. Maybe I will never need to because self driving vehicles may be available in a few years. Again, scared every day. My goal is to have a community home for life extensionists, which of course would be a very positive environment, or at least have extra positivism because everyone believes anything is possible nowadays with life extension. Right now I’m in Pennsylvania but hoping to move to either Myrtle Beach or Charleston, SC asap. I do not want to live alone because all my loved ones died off!

My name is Nicole I live in Greenville S.C.I am 38 year old woman with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I realize I am not a senior obviously but I too am very lonely. I am an only child with no real family or support system either only a young child who depends on me. I am in a very bad marriage of 6 years. I have been a stay at home mom since she was born and I just recently went back to work part time. I was forced to leave home young and made my living in the restaurant industry so that is what I went back to. I am very scared because I don’t have the means to support my child on my own and leave my husband unless I work 2 jobs to keep afloat which obviously leaves my young daughter in the lurch. I had planned on just sucking it up and staying with my husband despite his sexual dysfunction and emotional abuse. So that I could home school my child and educate with good Christian values and the idea of throwing her in public schools these days terrifies me I am sure being from your generation you can understand why. Unfortunately I now realize that to be impossible as I am married to a man who does not behave in a Christian way at all which I imagine will make it very hard to achieve that.
A few months ago I suffered a violent miscarriage that lasted for about 3 months. During that time my husband began cheating, drinking excessively, all while continuing to verbally and emotionally abuse me. Now he threatens me every day with leaving me and my child homeless and says he doesn’t care what happens to either of us. Last night was the worst he tried to find his gun which I hid threating to kill himself while my child was scared and crying. At a minimum I could use someone to talk to. But my ultimate goal here is to find someone who needs companionship, help around the house, and someone to ultimately take care of them in the twilight of their life so they won’t have to face being alone sick and forgotten with no one to care for them. In exchange I am looking for companionship, hopefully blooming into a surrogate mother daughter type of situation, and a home that is safe, calm, and godly to allow me and my daughter a safe haven while I find a way to support us without working 80 hours a week. I am saving up the money to get my real estate license but even after I get it will take me a year or two to become financially solvent enough for us to live alone. I am not looking for a sitter for her I have that worked out. I just need a safe, secure, home environment for us both. Also I am not interested in dating or anything of the kind just raising my daughter so no worries of strange people coming around etc. I don’t drink, I am clean, responsible, and kind. My mother is still living but doesn’t offer much in the way of emotional support and won’t allow us to stay with her even for a little while so I can get on my feet financially I have begged and the answer is still no.
Maybe we could chat and learn more about each other. Perhaps if we found we would be good companions we could help one another of a bad situation.

Like you and many others, I’ve realized that I should develop new relationships with other mature singles, who live within, at least, driving distance of where I am located (NYC) and have some common interests. I’m single, live in and work in NYC, don’t smoke nor drink alcohol [just my personal preference], and prefer being outdoors. After reading your post and those of others women on this site, who live in/near NYC, I thought to propose a casual meetup. You and anyone other woman, who is looking to meet new potential friends in the NYC area – let’s meet me at Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon. For our first ‘new friend’ meetup, let’s keep it to women only then we can decide way-forward after we meet. Right now, you can’t miss me as I have a boot cast and crutches – these are temporary due to an accident. Normally, I’m very active and enjoy the outdoors (biking, hiking, walking, volleyball, exploring, etc.); however, for the next few months, I’ll have to settle for shorter walks and/or relaxing on a blanket in Central Park – hopefully, with some new friends. So, if meeting in Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon appeals to you or anyone else reading this, let’s meet at the Fifth Avenue & 86th Street entrance to Central Park. We can then find a spot in the Park. If you decide to come, bring something to sit on, a beverage, and snack for yourself. We can relax and just talk. Should it get too hot or rain, we can find a nearby alternate (e.g. go into the Metropolitan Museum of Art or other). The more the merrier. For those of you not near NYC, may I suggest that one of you take the lead in your area and post details for a very casual ‘getting to know you new friends’ meetup in your area. First steps are always hard but they usually lead to great things! All my best, Grace

Hi Grace,
I was wondering if your “meetup” on July 14th, 2018, in Central Park, was a success. If you get this, please let me know. I live in Hackettstown, NJ, about an hour from NYC. If you have a group I would love to join!!
Janet

Hi Grace,
I am so happy to have found this website. I hope your “get together” yesterday went well. I live about an hour from NYC, in Hackettstown, NJ. If you have a group I would love to be a part of it. If you can, please let me know.
Thanks,
Janet

Hello all. Senior centers. Friendly visitors. Social workers. Volunteer. You have to leave the house. Or else find someone to invite in. Do something. You really can make a small effort every day. It requires you do something. Different.

I am also a widow — with no family, not a single cent to spend after paying the monthly bills (gas is rationed here!), a free-and-clear thankfully home in a town of 400 that has not one single business (not even a bar or grocery store), and no work/friend support system. I’ve gotten over my disappointment that a lifetime of monthly savings was spent on cancer treatments for my husband, who was a contractor and who during the 2008 meltdown, had to cancel his privately held company’s life and health insurance. My company was separate and I had those insurances through it. He didn’t want to worry me and we’d both been so healthy, he figured..he’d get it back soon. After all, he had paid for those items also for a lifetime.

We moved to a small town to rehab this home — cosmetic needs and now, rats, a roof — and months later, he was diagnosed. I shut down my business to take care of him at home.

Whenhe died, I was left standing there alone and broke. And then I discovered that neighbor wives don’t appreciate the widow asking their husbands for help. I understand. And I discovered that socializing costs money. I scrounge for groceries. I quit playing tennis. I quit a church bible study group. Why? I could not afford them. I was asked to lunch/dinner but when I cannot afford restaurant food, people start to pay and I do not want them to do so. I lived a life previously where I had plenty of money.. this is a new experience. I have a great resume but now I’m 66. I keep sending it out. Not one bite …and I have to keep in mind the distance to drive as my vehicle is now aged.

But those things I can handle. What I’m having trouble with is planning for health problems. I do not know the prices of ambulances or hospitals but I know I cannot afford them at all. Safety is on my mind. What if someting happens here at home and I need help? What if I need the care my husband needed? What if I’m driving rural and I don’t make it home? Who will notice?

I had a flat tire not long ago. I couldn’t get the lug nuts off the SUV. I ended up walking 6 miles to town. I’m glad I have my health to do that. But…it was a wake-up call. Another time I had a problem with one eye and had to get to town (20 miles) to get something for it. I could not close it. My other eye had bad sight; I used contact lense only on the other eye. No glasses. I drove very slowly to town on gravel road, after calling two people to see if I could get help. They were out of town. Two others…well, I was watering their plants as they were with family out of town. I was proud that I did it but again… a wake up call.

I want very much to refuse ambulance/medical service if something happens as I don’t want to live alone afterward and worry about bankruptcy or creditors. Good grief. I have only hospitalization for Medicare. I really wish I knew of safety solutions….and I’m perfectly content dying .. I truly do not get bummed out at that. I just want it to be painfless and fast. I sometimes wish I was able to know of an off-button so in the case of a health issue, no medical…just push off button I’d actually find comfort in that!

I go weeks and months without using my voice or being with another human. It’s funny how I’ve moved from totally weirded out by the silence of this new world — after a life filled with way too much busy and people — to accepting it. It’s not the best, I know. I do miss the fun things we did…camping, backpacking, ATV’s, hunting in the back country. I dream about it!

But it is what it is. LIfe is now a matter of acceptance. What would really comfort me though is knowing how to deal with safety issues — with no money to pay for the support others usually get to deal with such topics. That’s what I want to know. Anyone able to help with ideas? Safety when away from home and when I don’t return… Safety if something happens to me at home and no one is around to provide help. Safety if I have an illness and want to die rather than have treatment — and no rolling eyes. or pressure to change my mind. Safety. That’s what I fret about.

Hi – I just want to say how much I relate to you. I’m 63, but started realizing how alone I am in my early 50s. At that time I was having a lot of cluster “headache” (clusters are tortuous pain, much worse than what tend to be called headaches or even migraines). I was far from any hospital. I don’t know if there’s anything lonelier than being alone for hours & days in pain, or the fear of it, & feeling like no one really gets that, or cares. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy in Wa. State but caring for me beyond a point was beyond his emotional range.

Now it’s over a decade later. My parents are gone & my brother has pretty much abandoned me. I had moved to the West coast from the East in 1990, so have lost ties with older friends, other than sort of superficial contact on Facebook. The chosen family that replaced my family of origin has all died or left this area in the last ten years. I have a couple of friends left & try not to lean on them too much. But whenever anything happens for which I need help, I sort of sigh & steel myself to walk next door & ask for help, apologizing all the time.

One of things I want to say, & that occurred to me when I read your message was, “What has happened to this world?” Why are people so cold & uncaring toward others? I had a sort of spiritual awakening around mid-life & realized how much richer life is when I am awake to where I can be of use & service. But I feel surrounded by people who are all about their own little family units, who don’t seem to think of the world as a community.

I live in the middle of a big city (San Diego) that is overrun by younger people who come here for school, partying, the social scene. I used to be a sort of big deal on the local poetry scene but my collaborators & supporters have died or left. Young people tend to be disinterested in what an older woman who has lost her looks has to say. I get out there & attempt to meet people. I volunteer at a place that helps sick people get their laundry done & get food a few times a week. When CL still had “platonic” personal ads I met a woman through that but she has faded as my life became so difficult in the last year or so & I had to keep saying I couldn’t do stuff with her. I don’t know what the answer is, other than continuing to try & meet people. I think of all the opportunities I had when I was younger – stuff that just seemed to fall into my lap. Now yers pass & nothing happens. It’s so hard to re-establish a social life when you are older. I wish there were communities for people with similar interests (political, social, creative) to support each other – more than just online. Anyway, a sincere best to all.

I am also very lonely, I am a young 73 and before I had my illness, M.E/CFS I was out and about socializing with people who I believed were friends, I soon found out that they nor my family were in the least bit interested about my illness.
I have bought myself a mobility scooter so that I can get out and about on good days. As I write I am stopping myself from crying because I am lonely.
They say, join a group! there are no groups where I live.
I would do anything to have a genuine friend who I could visit and vice versa.

I too am 65 and am blessed to have some clients (I now only consult). I no longer worry about the ambulance, I simply don’t go because they cost 650 dollars. My situation is that since i’ve moved to the southwest to escape the cold, I have no friends, and believe me, I’ve tried I am planning to move to southern cal in a hud senior home within 2 years and that seems like an eternity living around people that don’t get me I haven’t had any neighbors invite me to their apartments since November, even for a cup of coffee. My lease is up in November and I’m considering moving back East to be near my friends until California has a placement for me

My mom told me as she was waiting to die in rehab to not go that route. She fell and had temporary paralysis and had that alarm around her neck and called for help Her life became a nightmare in rehab ( a very expensive one with a great reputation) and she made me promise that if I fall as a senior, get up if i can and if not wait for god because it’s a short wait (she was a nurse and lived til 93). I think she gave me good advice because I am tired of reaching out to people who are to scared to have me over because they think I want their husbands Never did that in high school or any part of my life. My sig other and I were getting ready to get back together in May – he was very healthy and died suddenly. He was my rock through all of life’s happenings and was there for me emotionally w.hen my parents died. I miss his emails and the loss of reuniting with him is huge.
So I guess my question is due I “cowboy up” and go back to freezing cold where my friends are, or stay here in isolation

Debbie I am in your shoes and 61 with Chronic Immune Disorder and several other medical issues that complicate it. Like you shopping is a big deal or just doing laundry. I try not to mess my house because I know I will have a cluttered one or dirty one to live in because I just can’t clean it. Getting to the shower some days is a big deal. Today I got up at 5pm after taking meds twice in bed, I finally was driven to get up because of pelvic pain from laying down. All this because I went out to do laundry yesterday, thats it. I am now facing being alone and living alone for the rest of my life with a progressing medical issues situation. What do we do Sis? I feel your pain, I really do, but I just don’t know what we can do about it. Sometimes I think there isn’t enough ‘goodness’ left in me to offer anyone. Who would want to have someone that can’t be counted on FOR ANYTHING. I never know what I am going to be able to make a show I have prepaid for or even shower some days until afternoon or later. God help us girl, God help us. (((hugs)))

I live in magnum ok are you near me at all…I’m 62, alone and healthy great shape but no one no kids, parents in Biloxi have a good time… I own a house and would love to either get a roommate or work babysitting to make a few extra bucks to go see some of the cities around me…Amarillo, tulsa, dallas great cities…

Charlene, I feel the exact same way. It hurts, it really does. So much more. Have no way of knowing what to do. If you have found a solution please let me know. 64 yes old and never, ever did I think I would be this lonely. Andrea

Hello Bonnie
I am 71 , married, but we are now on different paths ,I never ever felt I would feel lonely, but I do , my son and daughter ,are very good but have their own lives to lead, and the last thing they need is a”needy” mum.
I love to have fun, laugh .in good company, share meals out, and theatre trips.
I realised that if I don’t get a grip and reach out, I am going to become a shrivelled prune.and perhaps a recluse”!!!!!oh shudder!!!!!
So perhaps as you Bonny and I all feel the same , perhaps we could all become friends. and who knows , we will never feel lonely again .
What do you think girls ??

It’s all consuming. 69 years old, wanted a happy marriage to one person, but he had other plans. That lasted 25 years. Have three beautiful kids and four amazing grandchildren. Remarried someone I respected and trusted, He turned out to be a narcissist. That lasted 17 years. He left me on the day my son in law died from a brain tumor. He was having an affair with an old flame whose husband was in hospice dying from ALS. Ya can’t make this stuff up.
Two years after that divorce I started seeing someone I graduated high school with. Turns out his married female best friend, 18 years younger, is more important than the loving, meaningful relationship I thought we had. I had a difficult time with him taking her to the movies, lunch and just hanging out. So he left me after 2 years. He thought I was unreasonable. This happened today, so I’m hurting once again and venting! Thank you to anyone who reads this and can relate.

How do I join this group? I’m almost 70, in great health, but more or less a recluse. I’m an artist and a Pomeranian small dog breeder. I need a lady around my age to live with me, do arts and crafts with, and someone who loves lots of tiny dogs to play with. I live in FL.

And I thought I was the only one. I am 71, with severe chronic pain, so I don’t get out much. If I could I would certainly do volunteer work but, alas, not to be. I am married, have 2 sons, who make courtesy phone calls. In fact, one lives 2 blocks from me with 4 little grandchildren I would dearly love to see. Not to be – his wife wants no part of me and my son visits with the little ones every 2 weeks for 2 hours max and now he is moving away. I doubt I will ever see either of my sons again in this lifetime. My husband who is in great shape with my encouragement has made friends and visits them often, passing at least 2 full days a week with them and when he is with me he spends entire days, from sun-up to sundown outside tinkering with all his toys. I feel discouraged, abandoned, lonely. I would volunteer or at least try but he demands that when he is here or is outside ignoring me that I be in the house. I had a good career, I was busy, spent a lot of time with my elderly mother. I have no brothers or sisters and have lost all my friends along the way, partly because of the agonizing pain no one seems to even want to talk about – family, doctors…. no one.

And so I know how it feels. I have a lot more the say but no one to share it with. Maybe we could start chatting, learning about each other, and progress to a genuine friendship leading to more positive outlooks knowing their is 1 friend out there willing to talk of whatever and we could start putting some kind of positives in our lives, each leaning our each other to make us see out others or start doing things… who knows… maybe some day even meeting…. I reach out to you as you reach out

Who knows maybe there is some light out there. I wanted to kill myself yesterday but when I read your post I thought – there is someone out there in my very shows. We could try in each our own way to find happiness and rid ourselves of this loliness….. just maybe

Maddy and all, I am glad you did not kill yourself, Maddy. People don’t know that a better existence is coming. Those who don’t about me think I’m speaking of God, but not really, although this could come purely from God and through technology. If enough research is done, you’ll find the experts are saying what I am, and in fact it’s through research on life extension and futurism that I know this. Most experts are saying within 10 years, we will have greatly expanded life extension through medical control, so vast that it will seem as though we have no maximum lifespan! So it will not be just a continuation of what we’ve always had but so much more. And if we avoid accidents and don’t have an “existential” type of event to end humanity, we may be able to live who knows how long.

you know I know what you mean I have the same situation for my kids but however we could get together and we could be happy and the feeling of love that we will have between us flowing in each other’s bodies I would love you care for you and be there and never leaves you I’m 69 but I look 45

Being ignored by ur children sux, I know I am a divorced 61 year old man, Still active as a 30 year old,And I can’t seem to get close to my three kids, My twin girls are 30 and my son is 24. My two girls have found their place in life,And my son,Who knows ? Maybe he’s jealous because his mother and I divorced six years ago.
All she did was go out on weekends and party until the wee hours of the am,W/guys and my niece (she created
all of my hard feelings toward my ex-wife) Anyway I know what it feels like to be alone ! That’s y I am looking for a new home back in Fla. That’s where I belong, I never had any problems there,I was there for approximatly 25 years on and off,W/never any problems w/anyone
years I hope soon to get back to Fla. and start over again Thanx for reading this, I will survive ! JDR from NY Burbs

I am a 63 year old widow. I have family (a son) but only hear from them if they need anything. They, are always on the go and my son is not allowed to contact me, unless they need something.

I have helped them alot financially and have done alot of baby sitting. I have lived in Florida (Coral Springs) for over 25 years, it gets very lonely and the few friends I have don’t ever want to do anything.

Basically, my family would like me to die so they could sell my house and travel.

Me too Clara. My entire adult life has been terribly difficult. I moved closer to my one son and his kids but never hear from them unless I initiate contact. In a bad relationship with a man who does not live with me, but have been together for years. We are not intimate any longer and he blames me. I want a commitment and am trying to follow what the Lord wants. I am tired of being emotionally neglected and starved for affection. I blame him. So tired of being alone. I moved to a small town from the city also so socializing isn’t an option. Love to all the ladies on here. We all deserve so much more than poverty, loneliness and disrespect.

Hello you are still young and it is good to enjoy the good things in life, just like walking next to the beach, massage talk and laugh. I am a 56 year old widow without kids and would like to meet you, I can talk, listen to and share a friendship.

Hi, my name is Andrea and I am in the same situation as many as you are. I’m 64 yrs old in a a loveless and unhappy Matt. I tried meet ups but that did not help me. I would just like to meet a friend that I can talk to, listen to and share a friendship.

Hi Andrea
My name is Paul . I am 60 yrs old . I have 3 children. I was a single parent. My ex wife l eft then when my youngest daugher was 3 yrs old. Now they are full grown and married. Now I live all alone and I’m trying to look for friendship . Or someone to chat with everyday. I’m a retired Chef for 40 yrs. Sometimes it gets frustrating being all alone.

Hi Mariana-
I joined a few meet-ups, but they don’t seem to have enough events. I live in Manteca, CA sbout an hour or so from you.
I am 67 years old. My 65 year old husband left me on May 9th to live with a 75-year old woman he met on a dating site at the end of March. I am going through separation and will be filing for divorce hopefully soon so I can go on with my life. I love dancing of all types. I am looking for women to go out karaoeking & dancing with, movies, musicals, traveling, dining, etc.

Yes, there are meetup groups in the twin cities are full of women. We all may need to look at men and women once again sharing rental homes together. (we did in college)
The meetup groups in the twin cities are boring. I want , specifically, now that I cannot find what I want, a person or person to relocate with me to a retirement community ON A COLLEGE CMAPUS. There are 5 in the usa, where residents mingle intergenerationally and take classes on campus, use facilities…and I do not mean THE LIFELONG LEARNING PROGRAM that is in most cities where you drive in to universities for , once again ,boring presentaitons
When we had ballrooms and many dance halls in the twin cities with thems, it was real nice.
My retirement as a professional ed. is boring but it does not seem to be boring overseas?.

Wow, I go to OLLI in my areas also.
I thought that it would be more interaction with seniors and making friends more easily. Most are interesting enough to share current topics. Can be fearful of themselves or afraid of making new friends.
The topics have been good though. wish there was a better dynamic for us seniors that are still vibrant , young and wishing to share conversations without any walls or barriers.

Hello Anne, my story is very similar to yours, lost my dear hubby 5 years ago, 46 years married when he passed… i’m like you … i’d like to do more but have sore feet and cant walk that much .. cant do a great deal, you can talk to me whenever you like, it would be nice if you lived in Perth, i do have “friends,”but not always interested in me and i have 3 children and 7 beautiful grandies… they are very good to me and i baby sit one or the other during the week.
I’d love to chat with you sometimes , need more adult interaction, not looking for a man, at this stage of my life i nearly need to be looked after never mind having an old man to pick up after or cook for etc…. anyway, keep well and hope to hear from you
Regards

I in some way feel your pain. I absolutely hate this article with a strong passion. The author tried making a standpoint that “15 million people under 65 years old” made the choice of living alone. Either you’re ignorant or it is 5x in me for not reading the rest, because that’s only natural. You are trying to justify a shocking number of 15m people not wanting to be married (again) as a statistic? You have no underlying results, and the quantifiable analysis on the wide margin of an age group is bogus. You are rallying people without relationships, with short term relationships, mid term relationships, long term relationships, people with loved ones who passed away, and everything inbetween. You are a joke and you’r publication is not researched. End results to all who read this, be happy, find what makes you happy, and pursue it (as long as it is violent) and make sure you treat everyone as you want to be treated, in a friendly manner. At the end of the day, you’ll never know what nice comment you gave someone that they’ve thought about until they went to bed.

Wow are you serious? That would be my dream come true! I would love to leave Georgia! I would not be able to get there because I have never driven a car at all and I will not get on a plane! I’ll check back to see if you answer back! My God bless you every day. Faith, belief, love of God my have answered my prayers! What do you enjoy doing! Are you a Christian?

My name is Rachel.Im 63 years young and refused to let a number to determine my feelings. I’m a happy-go-lucky girl and I love to travel and I love to eat different kinds of foods I’m looking forward to a 15 day road trip with a sweet little friend of mine who was my neighbor 35 years ago I’m reaching out and I’m trying to do things I’ve never done before and now that I’m no longer married after many years I’m ready to go and have a good time. Come on girls and boys let’s begin to live let’s don’t sit here and wait to die alone get out have a good time get a job.
I hope I have said something to encourage you to get up and To Live and Let Live have a ball.

Thanks for these open, honest comments. I’m 62 and don’t have any real family or friends to speak off. No children, lots of moving and unexpected traumatic events. I’ve put a small little life together but can’t imagine how to make new friends & connections. I don’t seem to have much in common. Lived a very different kind of life. But the loneliness gets to me after too many days & weeks by myself.

I am in the exact same boat. I have learned that a domestic partner was the way to go for me. No kids. Then, she passed almost 2 years ago. I think that my reason why no legal marriage had to do with my upbringing. Our attachment style is formed early in our lives, between us and influential caregivers. I have no regrets exept the cancer part. Best.

Hi Sherry
I am just the opposite have to many kids and would like to get away from them all .. So count yourself lucky.
I to am lonely and looking for some friends my age to hang out with . I raised 3 of my own children and adopted 6 more so I have been busy raising them now they are grown and expect me to keep raising them the youngest is now 23 my oldest is 51 . Time for me to live my life. My dear friend since high school always said we would
travel when everyone grew up we are now 71 and she is still working. Plus she is in pain and can’t even manage
to go out to dinner after working at the office . I live in northern Illinois and seriously thinking of selling my house
and leaving the country.. I have my heart set on Nova Scotia I have not been there yet. But keep studying everything about it . I plan to go in June and check it out.

My name is Terry hi Sherri I’m with you had 1 child but ended up raising many. I’ve been a caregiver my whole life. Just want to talk go places but I have no money. I would just be glad to have someone to go to movies or out to eat. I’m way back in country .Gets so lonely

I’m looking for a warm climate not a cold one but I hope you like Nova Scotia if you move there. I have never wanted children, yet envied the Duggar family’s large support system and all the positive excitement that goes with it. Wondering how your family compared to that family. When you say she is in pain, I’m not sure who you’re referring to. I too have issues with pain due to a lower spine problem but I’m not bad as long as I’m not on my feet or sitting for long. :) We too are trying to sell our house and move South. I’m looking for people who are interested in indefinite life extension through medical intervention and accident reduction/eradication. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

Andrea, I have lots of posts here because I really feel there is potential to make connections here, although it may be a sounding board for some. Anyway it seems like a successful thread because it’s lasted so long. So far I’ve been emailed a few times asking for more about the community home I’d like to start in the future. I’m a relentless person so I keep trying. Also I think it helps all of us because through this thread we see we have a lot of company when it comes to loneliness. Not easy to find real connections though.

Not certain how this site works but can relate to most of you. Also not sure how safe this is as I googled “retired single women who want to relocate” & this appeared for all the world to see. If anyone can advise I would appreciate it.

I didn’t know there was even one dating site solely for those without children. I was on one forum just for people to connect online, friendship or not. (I think it was mostly ladies — talking about how to cope in a world where it seems you’re alone. and whether or not the holidays are a special type of problem, for example. That one closed down soon after I joined and the other similar sites were also closed.

Terry I don’t know where you are but I’m looking for people who are excited about the anti-aging research going on now and who are interested in how all diseases and accidents can be gradually eliminated. If interested in this and other things, you can email me: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

I’m new at this too! Maybe we can help each other out with this new adventure! I’m Jamie and my husband passed away in 2013 with lung cancer at age 53 I am 55 now and I am disabled and can’t work but I have a check that goes into my account it’s just not enough to keep up with morgage and other bills and I never learned to drive so I am alone 99 percent of the time! That’s what lonely really is! I have know one in my life and my children and grandchildren don’t care enough to check on me! I live in Gainesville ga

Yep. People can say to each their own meaning that no one person would never be correct to direct any other adults actions. I have personally found that if one lives in a metropolitan area that it has more clubs more resources. At the same time, it is all about companies spending their advertising to get the word out there. I have seen people in hospitals never having any visitors. Still, some people that become patients prefer it this way. No for me. And, am working on being pro active to improve my life in a relationship.

Hello Katherine
I’m kinda like lonely too My name is Mike I’ve worked ever since I was fifteen I don’t trust to many people but I’m looking for someone that I can trust and share the things that I’m sososo Lonley about What I really want is a friend to talk to about problems I have and I love hearing a friends problems maybe take short walks in a park or walks around campground or by a peaceful lake or a pond maybe we could get together and be friends

Hi Andrea, I have no family either, but I am lucky to have my son and husband even though I’m not really happy, we don’t have any other family, well I have 4 siblings but they are so toxic I had to write them off, 1 brother I like but he doesn’t call or anything and is going through a divorce and I think he’s on crack and drinks, I don’t even talk to my parents. They treated me like crap my whole life, all us siblings, no one talks to anyone. My mother is selfish bit– who shouldn’t of had kids, she favored 2 and was nasty to the rest, now no one gets along, she is the cause of everything and had the nerve to say on mothers day a few years back “I’d have money if I didn’t have kids” I told her you shouldn’t of had kids – I don’t know what it’s like to have a caring mother. I thinks it’s worse when you do have siblings but their abusive so I had to get rid of them. I got married at 36, I used to get abused at jobs then come home and get abused by my parents and siblings. But I truly believe what goes around comes around. I’m so worried about my son he’s any only child when he gets older he doesn’t have family, I couldn’t have any more children, got married so late. My husband is a loner, he has gotten screwed over by people so much, doesn’t trust anyone, doesn’t want friends or be social so I am lonely too. My son and 5 cats and dog keep me going.

“R” – I stumbled across this site and I share a lot if the feelings described, but I didn’t see anyone near my age until I read your post. I’m 53, no children, nor close family and now dealing with the end of a bad marriage. No idea what I’ll do if something serious happens… I truly have no one to count on.
I related to another person here who said they had no children due to “a lot of moving and unexpected traumatic events… ” I would love to have had children, but it just didn’t work out that way for me. I’ve always tried to maintain a positive attitude, but I’m just so tired of starting over in life. I finally got married at 42 and that was just a waste of 10 years and a self-esteem killer in the end…

Some of us don’t have a choice. I don’t have the money to go traveling; in fact, I don’t even have a car now. Friends? I moved to this little town because I could afford to buy here, at the time. And never fit in. Everyone is related. Church, too. My family is far away and I’m forgotten. I have some health issues but can still be active, usually. Doesn’t matter, I’m stuck. So don’t tell me it’s a matter of attitude and just getting out there. I’m sorry I sound so bleak. I used to be so bouncy and busy and productive. Now I’m just a nice old lady that walks to the grocery store, bank, post office. Everyone treats me like how they see me….a sweet old lady. My friends are online now. I love good, deep conversation, keeping informed in politics, world events, Christian beliefs. Better than nothing, keeps my mind busy…..but pretty lonely. I’d like to sell my small house for what little I can get out of it, get a vehicle, move to a place with more access to shopping and things to see. But it’s all overwhelming.

Hi Linda. I feel like I am stuck also Linda. The town I live in has no activities for seniors. My husband has been gone for 7 years now and I have been lonely that whole time. I don’t have any family here but one daughter and they are too busy for me. They have a huge camper but they never invite me to go camping with them. I would be so excited if I could just go with them one time. I do have a car thankfully because I need a car to get to the grocery store and to run other errands. But that is about all I do in my life is running errands and get groceries. I have been on depression pills and they helped a little but there are days that I am just really sad and wish I had someone in my life. I do not want to get married again have been there a couple of times and do not wish to do that again. I just wish there was some way we could all get together and be friends.

Just read your post and I know exactly how you feel. Moved to a new location approximately 10 years ago. Am single & do not have many friends here. Had to retire a few years ago & suffer from severe loneliness most of the time now. Hope your situation has improved since your post!

A Widow
I lost my husband who was my best friend and now I’m alond because my “children” abandoned me. It’s very sad especially on Holidays when you pretend it’s going to be Ok but it never is
Selfish daughters know I’m a heart patient and cancer survivor but said I’m dead to them does anyone know if there are Familes who need a Grandmom or just a Friend
It’s scary being alone

I am in the same boat. Have one daughter and son-in-law that lives near me but both are so busy that they really do not have time for me. I only have one good friend and we used to do things together but she has been ill and her husband has been ill so that has kept us from getting together. I don’t think I have seen her in the last 2 years almost. So I am very lonely too. I have three cats which give me some companionship but not having any friends to do things with is really hard. I have gone to church before but have neverfelt a part of anything there .It would be so nice if some of these letters that we read here where we could find out who they are and how far away they live from us so that we might be able to make friends with each other so that we would not feel so alone and lonely.

Hi
I’ve been trying to find a site where older women like me feel dating men is not for them!
I just turned 60 , I’ve had medical problems most of my life
I divorced an abusive man 20 years ago.
I tried internet dating several times and it is not for me
A year ago I met a chronic liar who had a substance abuse record. I had a cat for a long time who died and I don’t want another
I wish to find other women who think dating sucks
Zachie

Zachie, even if you’re NOT asexual, you may be accepted on one of the asexual sites. Some are paid, at least one is free and there are a few facebook pages, although they may not be active enough. If you explain yourself, as you did in your post, you have a chance to get some good responses.

I have learned that there is a grieving process after a separation, divorce, leaving a long term friendship, partnership and a persons demise. Some move easily forward and some do not. The people who wish to be alone til their demise with no companionship whatsoever, etc. should be pleased with their decision to do so. They find peace their own way. I do not want that way for myself.

I am not sure who is getting this message but after being only not lonely for 6 years my feelings have changed.
I have lots of female friends I luv their company but I now feel I would like some male Chatter

Kathleen, I was fine also for the first 7 years after my husband’s death and then I decided that I really need to have a man in my life. So I went online and met a very nice man so quickly that I just could not believe it. We spoke for three months online and never met because he lives out of the country and worked out of the country. He was very very pleasant and I had really started to fall in love with him. To make a long story short I found out just this last week that I was being scammed they call it romance scammed. It has broken my heart but I do not talk to him anymore because he really is not who he said he is. Be careful if you go online there are so many scammers out there today and they will take advantage of you and not blink an eye doing it. After this bad experience I decided I don’t want a man in my life. Not for me. So be careful

i am 72 years old have been told i don’t look it.i am in great shape my wife died very sudden 12 years ago while i was at work.my son was home called me and when i got home they had went to the hospital.she died three days later.the only thing that has kept me sane is i still work.my son is getting married soon and i didn’t realize how much i would miss his company.i don’t want to get married again opening your heart again and then losing someone can be very painful.i just want someone to enjoy the rest of my life with someone without marriage.i know to some people that sounds wrong but that what i want.

Hi Frank
My name is Sally and I’m 60. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly. I have 2 grown daughters that try and include me in things , I am grateful for that. I went back to work but it’s not very fulfilling and I live in the suburbs where everyone is married. I know there are many of us out there…it used to be so easy to meet people now I feel like I don’t know how anymore. It’s a hard feeling to describe. Even people I worked with for over a decade just disappeared. Sometimes I really believe people are afraid to talk to widows. I am or was very active loneliness is worse than death.

I have not moved forward easily. I’ve been alone 5 years now after a 23-year marriage and a 3 year relationship. Both ended in quite shocking ways and I feel that despite all my efforts I can’t move on from it somehow. I am also very lonely. I have a busy job, which more than anything I want to get out of, in an unfriendly city where nothing really good has ever happened for me. I have a few friends here, more abroad. My family is all overseas. I don’t want to be alone forever either, and every now and then I forget that I am alone, as if I was so used to having a partner and a good social life that my brain occasionally forgets that it hasn’t been that way for so many years. I did a bit of dating but it gave me panic attacks – ridiculous, I know. The grieving process is easier now (it was hell for the first three years alone), but my life has not become ‘normal’ again. I am afraid that I will be alone forever, stuck. I do a lot of stuff by myself – going out, trying new things, meeting people, travelling – but I never feel really relaxed anymore. I am also afraid to quit my job and strike out alone – being old and poor – and alone! – is really terrifying. But being here is a living purgatory. I’m glad to find this site, with people feeling similarly – but also not glad to see so many people going through this situation. I would also like to meet up, but you all seem to live a long way from where I am.

Hi Helen,
My story is similar to yours. I lost my husband on Christmas Day, 2011 & my loneliness gets worse & worse. I never thought I would be lonely & from the outside you would never know I am. You didn’t say where you live but I’m in NYC & CA in case you are close to either of those.

This is the worst part of my life and an off button would be helpful. I lost my husband to cancer. i lost a lifetime of retirement savings to the medical community that treated his cancer. I had health insurance. He did not… his business fell into trouble when the 2008-9 collapse stopped all lending to contractors..a fact many do not know occurred. My biz was doing great and he did not want me to worry about his biz struggles. Ah well.. that did not work too well. I paid cash for his medical.. wiped me out. My/ our love is outdoor activities…our home is rural. My loves are fishing, hiking, hunting, camping. Try finding a woman to do those things. And men… no go… I do not want to date anyone and male friends for outdoor companions do not exist. I am college-educated and have built 3 businesses. suddenly my great resume gets me zero jobs.. age is a real barrierOur son lives acriss the country. There is no senior center here… there is no grocery store within 25 miles. Soo I struggle to pay bill. I go fishing alone. I camp alone. I go months during winter alone .. spring is better but better means 3 hours a week of human contact. I had a busy, full life with too many people, plenty of money, 40 years of marriage , travel, faculty friends.. and now.. the goal reached is not what i would widh on anyone. I am truly not depressed but i really have little desire to keep on going. This, quite frankly, sucks!

Hello Frank! I’m so glad I found this site. I didn’t know there were so many people in the same boat I am in. Lonely people! I am 73 and still work in my business. Scared to retire. It’s the only thing that help me with my loneliness. I too would love to have a relationship with a man but don’t want to get married. Someone i can share my inter most thoughts with. A companion. Someone to go on trips with. Go out to eat. Just someone who enjoys my company. I live in Alabama.

Where are you, “womanovereasy”??? I’d love to go fishing and camping!!! I’m in Texas, but sounds like you’re probably not. I’m 73, my husband passed in 2014, my mother, baby sister and my dog passed in 2015, in 2016 was my middle sister. I have a sister and a brother left and neither are anywhere near me. But that’s ok, we never got along anyway. I just went to the store today and fell in their bakery area……surprised me, really did. I think I turned too quickly and bumped into a post. I’m ok though, but it’s something to worry about. I think a lot about no one checking on me, I could probably lie on the floor for several days before a neighbor might decide to check…….it’s not a neighborhood where neighbors hang out together. I have dogs and thought maybe I should be teaching them to dig a hole and roll me over into it, but they’re mostly old too so that wouldn’t work out. I went up to the fire station yesterday and got a “file of life” form, filled it out and put it on my fridge…..it states all medical stuff, whatever “handicaps” a person has, etc., but someone has to call 911 so it’s just hanging on the fridge because no one checks on each other here. The only thing I really do outside the house is go to church and bible study class. Anyway, I’m rambling…….it would be great if you were in this area!

That’s great, Rachel that you’re able to be so active. Speaking for myself, I have some health issues that prevent me from traveling or otherwise getting out on a regular basis so that I can meet other people. If you have the health to enjoy these years you are truly blessed.

I’m not sure what the rest of us are supposed to do, however. You can only rely on the internet so much for friendships.

I like your short but sweet outlook. Yes, we come into this life alone and depart alone.

I am 87 years old this month and have never felt alone. Always learning something new. Began learning the saxophone six months ago and having a ball. Played clarinet and oboe as a child. Going from classical to jazz.

I have many blessings and am grateful for each day. Do have to deal with scoliosis and macular degeneration which is annoying but in the context of things, I am a lucky lady. Have had a very full life.

Hi Easter it is wonderful that you continue to learn, I will be 86 in 8 days, and I learn something new every day, I am alone but I am not lonely at all.
There are ways not to feel lonely just have a hobby that you really enjoy and are good at it, something that you can do every day and look forward to all tomorrows.
In 2002 when I retired I was 70 years old, I was very fortunate that I could afford to travel, and travel I did for 13 consecutive years: all of the States of the Union, South America, Central America, most islands of the Caribbean and most islands of Hawaii , Italy, France, Switzerland and even East Africa, I never even bothered to think about my age, I felt that by the time I reached 82 I would be dead like my father, I did not die but money was becoming a problem, I had homes in the Florida Keys, in Lakeland Fl, in Naples Fl, an apartment in Aventura Fl, a home in Spring Valley Ca. and now in Hemet Ca. After selling my home in Naples Fl I decide to return to California and chose Hemet because was 100 miles north of Spring Valley and a cheeper place to live, bought a mobil home there and all that I needed for security and comfort, I have my car and still enjoy exploring places near me. I was born in Italy, in 1956 I moved to the United States,for more than 44 years I lived in Florida, Florida is a wonderful place to be, especially the Florida Keys were I had a home for 36 years, but Florida is flat and for natural beautiful landscapes you needed to travel north or west, In my travel I took over 13.000 photographs.
When I moved to Hemet I found myself to be afflicted by low energy, not much money and faced with the problem of what to do with whatever time I had left, when I was young I wanted to be a painter, my parents won’t have none of that so I became a researcher first in plastic later in pharmaceuticals, I decide to start painting, as it turned out I was very good from the very beginning, at the moment 10 of my latest paintings are on exhibition for the next 6 months at the very modern government building in Riverside Ca, I also was featured on the spotlight of the Press Enterprise news paper by the Riverside Arts Council, all my paintings are from my travel photographs, I am in fairly good health and live alone, I have been alone since my divorce in 1990, of course I was in several nice relationships but because of my preference of traveling alone after few bad experiences and also because of my moving to so many different places, I was not in a place long enough to form lasting friendships and relationships, now that I spend most of my time at home painting it would be nice to correspond and meet a healthy older lady that loves art or is an artist herself, I would love to correspond and ultimately meet at a place agreeable to both of us. If you want to see my paintings go to Michael Micalizzi of Hemet on Facebook and let me know if you like my style.The problems I have been facing is that galleries and art judging exhibitions are not interested on promoting a person of my age because I would not be around for very long to produce more paintings, a classical case of discrimination for an old person, that is the way it is. Have a great Christmas Holiday. Michael

Iam 56 yr old woman single one son 25 lives on his own and Iam very lonely would love to find friends both male and female and Iam not sure if there even is a place to do that ?! Soes anyone know of a place to make friends after 55 ???

Meetup.com does exist unlike what a contributor wrote. In the Miami area, this .com is so necessary since many keep to themselves. It is why it exists. So, you are in the same boat as so many others. Go to your nearest local community center and get their monthly list of activities and then just pass by when an activity you like is on. If you like the crowd, then sign up to be a member. If computer savvy and have the money go to the most popular singles sites that have your info secured (emphasis added). beat of luck.

I am 69 and alone as well. I found a small church that I am happy with. Everyone is very friendly. I also have a Shih Tzu. I believe having a pet and church family helps. Senior Centers are good also. I still miss having a steady person to go to dinner with and just be around the house. My husband died from cancer 11 years ago.

Being alone isn’t bad. It would be nice to share with another the wonders of life at our age. I still work part-time and met a lot of older and younger people. They never look down on us seniors working for reasons. I enjoy senior activities , being with the grand-kids, art work, and more of a country person. I am looking for companionship with someone that I may have something in common with. I enjoy going to murder-mysteries on stage production and so on…..Berta

Steve,
The point pf what ppl are saying here i believe is
We are looking to make connections. When we age some looe family or never had any.. some empty nesters or never had any.if it where as easy to just enjoy and deal with it we wouldnt be searching here

Hello Sharyn
How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

https://www.meetup.com/ Then choose your state then city. I’ve attended a Bible Study group, a Small Dogs Hiking group, a Single Senior Friends group, Wednesday Hump Day hiking group, all at one time or another and though it was difficult at first to enter into something alone where most of the others already knew each other since I don’t have great group skills and am really only comfortable talking one-on-one and am not a smiley person but rather serious – there was never a time when I felt uncomfortable or ignored and I learned to get better at being with strangers who quickly became, not friends, but congenial participants in whatever it was the group was aimed at doing. I can recommend it if your city has a chapter as most mid to large sized cities do.

Hi Jean,
You just touched on several of the reasons I don’t go to meet ups. I’ve tried different things and found most people bring a friend with them which often makes it hard to connect with them. Maybe I’ll get the courage up now to go to a meetup after reading your post. Thanks for sharing.
Patty

Hello Sharyn
How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write back ur email address I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

I live in Bend, Oregon (which isn’t really near anything but Bend, Oregon !). I lived in N. California near San Jose for the first 30 years of my life and here for the last 37 – very nice here in the mountains and still having a town with great medical care, Costco, Walmart, Target, you name it – we’ve got it. We’ve been discovered and home prices and rentals are sky high now. I was in Berkeley just once when someone dragged me to a protest about something. Hope your Easter was nice – my pastor and his wife invited me to join their family for a big feast which was very sweet of them – but then I always wonder if they just feel it’s their duty to invite those they know have no one to spend holidays with
( I probably shouldn’t be so suspicious of peoples’ motives but I just hate when people feel “sorry” for me since I have no one when for the most part it’s been my choice. ) At this point, I’m pretty content with my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs and, to tell the truth, so many times when I am out somewhere with people at the Senior Center for movies, or exercise classes, or after church when you’re expected to socialize in the lobby, I find myself wishing I was home with Joey, Ruthie, and Gracie – my fur buddies who never bend my ear about their incredible grandchildren and want to show me 35 photos to prove it and seldom bother to ask my about myself – it’s rarely a conversation but a monologue on their part. What is your story ?

That’s right about the 35 grandchildren. I’m happy that people have so many family members but they do not put themselves in the place of others who can’t get in a word edgewise about themselves. There should be etiquette regarding talking too much about your relatives, especially oohing and aahing to others about their kids and grandkids.

I am 64 years old and live in Florida. I am a retired nurse. I am currently in a loveless relationship and have been for 10 years. I have two good friends who come to visit me every year from up north. I miss having a connection with a friend. My partner does not have any friends and never wants to leave the house. I would love to have a companion for walking, going to lunch, exploring places laughing,, etc. Even living with someone can be more lonely than living alone.

I am fortunate that I have two married daughters that live in Florida. I am very close with my grandchildren also. I had a very rough time with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. We were estranged and I sometmes thought we would never have a mother/daughter relationship again. At that time, I began to focus on me. I joined a gym, got involved with my other daughter and grandkids, and realized I needed to focus me. Fortunately, My youngest daughter and I have reconciled. She has grown up a lot and I am now enjoying a relationship with her, my son-in-law, and 18 mo grandson.

I have met some people, however, I am a “giver” and not a “taker”. I guess I have just met the wrong type of people…no connection.

Janice. glad you reconciled with your daughter. I have to focus a lot on myself also but it’s because of my compelling reason to continue living, with the goal of to physically live forever mostly via upcoming technology. As long as I can be healthy and comfortable enough, I think I can make it.

Hi Janice,
I’m 64 as well. I wish you lived near me, I am in the same situation and would love to make some new friends, I just never know where to go to meet them.. I find most people are settled with their group of friends and aren’t really interested in making new friends.
Unfortunately you live in Florida, I’m in Virginia. Funny because I thought maybe it would be good to move to Florida to retire since it’s where so many retirees move that it would make it easier to make new friends. I guess it’s the same everywhere.
All the best,
Patty

P.S. I’ve often said “being lonely living with someone is the loneliest kind of lonely.”
Just know you’re not alone with these feelings.

I definitely agree with you. I have found that people are settled in their own cliques and very difficult to break the ice. I really appreciate your response. It is kind of nice to know there is someone out there that feels as I do.

Yes, I wish you lived near me. It would be nice to meet a good friend. Thank you!

Yes, about “being loneliest with someone,” is so true. I’ve always said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Personally, I think God gave us dogs to make up for people. I try to interact some with people via the Meetup groups (as noted earlier) and thru church and am thinking of volunteering with a Veteran’s organization here as I have a soft spot for those who served but at the end of the day there is nothing (for me) that takes the place of my little darling dog going nuts when I get home be it after 1 hr or 10 hrs. He actually attempts to talk to me and sticks to me like glue, in bed he burrows beneath the blanket and conforms his body to mine so I have a natural hot water bottle. It sort of scares me how much I love him and how I can’t even begin to think about ever losing him. So I would recommend getting a dog if a person is allowed to where they live and can afford one. Doggies also love being walked so it gets you out to parks and areas set aside for dogs where people with their dogs seem to more easily strike up conversations that, of course, revolve around their dogs.

Pets can be very important. I have an online friend who has no family to speak of and no local friends. Her rabbit gives her company and happiness. Walking pets out in public is one of the best ways to make friends. I am living proof because when I was 18 and in a new area, I had a family of 4 kids and 4 dogs befiend me — I hardly had to say a word and it got me a babysitting job for the 4 kids,

Judy? I too would love to move to FL but I too have no family or friends there. I’m interested to not be right on the water because of hurricanes. Do you have an area in mind? I have my husband and mother with me and I’ve been looking for a caravan of sorts (not literally but to meet up down there) or it can be where we follow each other or go down together.

Hello Janice my name is Joan I also live in Florida, lake county..I am 70 a ypung 70 my children and grandchildren live in Florida but you know how it is everyone is busy..visits come down to Holidays,birthdays,mother’s…and once a month… my boyfriend passed away 3 years ago…it would be nice to have a good friend to talk with,go to lunch,play bingo,shop…my dearest friends have passed on and yes life gets a little lonely at times….

Hi Janice – We are the same age. I am a still-working professional and live in S. Miami. What part of Florida are you in? My family is not nearby and I am a widow. I am thankful for my pets. I think the long weekends and holidays are the most difficult. I enjoy my home but would like to have more social things to look forward to with a good local friend similarly situated to break the monotony. Plays, concerts, museums, etc. I also recommend checking out Women’s Prosperty Network. You do not have to be a member to have access to inspiring talks on Wednesday’s via web or phone. Take care & s if in my area, feel free to reach out.

I would like to live in FL. Afraid of irreparable hurricane problems and gators so I’d need to avoid those. Wonder if there’s a way. I’d like to live near the Church of Perpetual Life which is mostly a gathering for hope of physical immortal;ity.

I’m 61 and my husband of 27 years passed away 2 years ago all I have is my dog no friends my husband was my friend we did everything together we were perfect together. It still feels like yesterday I can’t believe it’s 2 years I feel more lonely as time goes on. It’s getting harder not easier. I can’t believe I’m totally alone in this world. I have nothing to look forward to except my faith when I die we’ll be together again. I would never want anyone else just him.

I hope depressed people are not looking forward to death because everyone they’ve ever loved has died. I think fortunately this isn’t common but I hate to see even one person waiting for death. We’re now in a transhumanist world, which simply means tech is increasing exponentially to the point where it’s improving or at least changing our lives to something sort of “futuristic”. With the anti aging medical control that we’re told will be available within 20 years, we may actually live so much longer that THAt age will actually be small compared to what we may have once accidents are under control. Bottom line is we will either be with our loved ones in an afterlife, either in heaven or here on earth by Godly intervention or we will live long enough to see people actually brought back to live via tech, but of course that will take hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years. Search Aubrey de Grey, ira Pastor, Gennady Stolyarov, transhumanist political parties.

Hello Paula. Yes I know how you feel I lost the love of my life 3 years ago..its still hard to believe he is gone…we reconnected again on facebook after 37 years.we found that we still loved each other….but God had other plans . It seems good friends are hard to make everyone has their own group..yes having a pet is comforting but something is still lacking that human connection..someone to talk too,relate too,have a good laugh and time with,,,,

I thought years ago that when my children grown and I’m retired
I would move to be around them. Now at 65, retired, widowed …
One daughter, family and child out of state. The other lives away.
For 36 years I loved being a wife, mother, and career. Now I live alone in small town.
How do I find a NEW self worth ?

i thought the same way my wife died suddenly while i was at work with my son at home.that was 12 years ago he is getting married now and i feel so lonely.i would never tell this but i have really missed.i always thought we would grow old together.i am going to be 72 but never get taken for that people think i am 50 i stay in good shape but i don’t know why.

Hi, I just turned 61 and I am retired. I suffer with depression and anxiety which confines me to be honest. I have no children and family is not an option for me to have much of a social network. I just moved back to my home state and I feel terribly alone, it is just me and my cat here.
I find myself overridden with anxiety about my will, beneficiarys, and especially an emergency contact. Plus I started worrying about being found here alone when I either get an attack or am dying/dead. Recently I fear driving which I never had problems with.
Just to have someone check on me is a Godsend, and I am blessed to have an acquaintance that worries about me, and contacts me once in a while to touch bases. Church attendance is iffy at the most, and even that makes me anxious. I know if I was more social some of these problems would be fixed but with depression and anxiety issues it is easier said than done.
Thank you for letting me vent a little.

Hi Karen, I have anxiety and depression too. I’m lucky still, to have my mom and husband with me. I hope I don’t lose them, as I have no kids, no local friends or other local family, just an extended family 150 miles away who I speak with occasionally by phone. You’re lucky you have someone to take care of your affairs if you need it and to check on you. I do not know if I would have this if my mom or husband were not here. I guess I’d try to have a doctor or lawyer take care of my affairs, if they even do that. It’s scary right now. I’ll soon be moving out of state so I’ll find out more then. I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life extensionist, so I’m positive about the future and still healthy as far as I know, maybe due to my belief in the possibility of living indefinitely.

I’m 62 and have been single almost all my life. I had a relationship early on that was somewhat abusive and just never got over it. Time has flown by and I got sad when I realized I will most likely always be this way and got really anxious as well. But luckily I had super supportive co-workers who were right there listening, and reassuring me when I was about to retire and we stay in contact and go out to eat and movies, baseball games, casinos, whatever. I just retired and I don’t have them to laugh with everyday now so it’s hard sometimes. They are my second family. I could reach out much more than I do now and I know they’d be there for me thank God! We all need each other. I have a younger friend who is 40 who calls me about 6 times a week and we could talk for hours. Still there are certain days that are so lonely but I just try to get out into nature and/or go people watch and I feel better. I know God loves me and watches over me, so I count my blessings. I have a cat and birds and want a dog but can’t decide which kind! I talk to my animals a lot but I’m a communicator! My son will be thirty and lives 5 hours away but he’s been calling once a week which I appreciate. My feet hurt which is my main concern because I gained 60 pounds! Otherwise I would be way more active. I do need a dog to walk!

I feel the exact same way that you do, I’m 57 and facing divorce, which my husband just recently told me he wanted and doesn’t
love me anymore…and is never home anymore. My world revolved around him and the things we did together. I have children that are loving but very far away. I have been mostly a homemaker with part time jobs. I try and practice breathing every day..I never
thought I’d be alone like this. I’m sorry we’re both going thru this terrible ordeal with our health issues. Take Care

Hello Karen
How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

Hi Karen,
My name is Jon and I am from Massachusetts and would love to have a cup of coffee with you some morning. I’m very lonely but not alone. My wife is on oxygen 24/7 and has been for 4 years and now the doc. tells me that Dementure is settling in so she does not go out at all. i’m not complaining , it’s just that after 4 yrs. I am going crazy . I need to talk to another and relax a little. If your in my local I would to see you. Keep each other company. Jon, ps thanks for listening.

John shay and all, anyone with a problem as severe as being on oxygen or getting dementure should consider a clinical trial. I’m not sure but I think the first phase is always for safety — to try to determine if the treatment will harm the patients and second or third phase is for efficacy, to determine how well it works as a treatment. I know about these things because health is a secular thing and I’m a secular person and in fact an unlimited life extensionist/amateur futurist.

Ahhhh ❤️ I wish I lived close to you , I would help you. we are totally different, I have family but they don’t care. I too suffer from anxiety, depression. PTSD, and bipolar disorder. If you ever need to talk . I will check back on here. This is the first time I’ve been on here. Your comment really touched my

I am an early retired 58 years old single female, and currently find myself estranged by my (only) adult son. I always thought of myself enjoying my retirement with grandchildren. That has not been the case. I’ve had been too busy enabling my son on all levels. I know finally put my foot down and he has decided to “estrange himself” as a form of manipulation. My siblings have never been exemplary and were always quick to criticize and gloat. Now, that I do not have my son around I feel lonely and isolated from the world. I do not like self-pity but unfortunately I do feel this way. Not cool.

I understand bout the kids. Sometimes, they are so busy that they honestly do not understand. My only son, who is married and wonderful, thinks I am his age. I am 7l, work full time, take care of many cats, my own and ferals, and on top of it, my job is stressful and I have a chronic very painful disease. He wants to understand but unless people have gone through things, they really cannot comprehend. If I was not sick and did not have to work, I would never be lonely as I am not looking for a man but would just join walking clubs, reading clubs, and the list goes on. You just have to volunteer or join groups or maybe even work part time. That always helps. I wish you the bes.

l am so sorry to any one feeling along,it is not a good feeling,my husband died five years ago,and we have two grown sons,they don,t live close by,in the last five years l have lost my mom to cancer,my husband died the next year of lung cancer,then two years ago my sister died of massive heart attack,then my brother died this pass June of massive heat attack,l have been feeling lonely,this year my goal is to get out more and make friends,and who knows maybe a new man in my life,l am 58,active ,l made the mistake of taking early retirement , but now l am thinking now is my time to travel,do any thing l want to do,so today l can say ‘Life is Good’and every day will be a new adventure ,I hope each and everyone can reach out and grab life by the shirt tails and swing like a child and keep a going

I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

Hi John,
I lost my husband 3yrs ago. Than my health went down hill. I have spinal stenosis and ended up in a wheel chair only till I can get strong again. I was the most out going person. Love being around people .came from a LG family. But i originally was born and raised in calif. My husband and I. Moved to N.W. AR. HERE 14yrs. Wasn’t expecting him to die! Most my dear. Friends all live in Calif. And stay in touch. My 3 daughters moved here 1 at a time. 2 married
One lives down the street, with my 12 granddaughter. They come around the most. What caught my eye was your name Bruno. That was my favorite uncle Bruno. I’m 68. If you need to talk or text. Its in your court? If not thats fine too.
Sincerely, marie

I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.
I’ve been widowed for a little over 41/2years, tried the dating thing , hasn’t worked out..??
I’m 57 and live in Oregon . have a dog, tried the getting back in shape in 2016, now all I do is watch TV alone every night and don’t seem to have very many interests anymore. I would like a friend that I could do things with..??

Hello Barbara
How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

Your life seems about the same as mine, except I lost my husband to another woman, 6 years ago. I wish I could get a life also. The people I meet I don’t seem to have anything in common. I really would like to find someone to just go places with, I am so tired of going everywhere alone. I just stay home and sit in front of tv! I am in Augusta Ga sure would like to meet friends

Hello Barbara, You sound just like me. I have such anxiety and fear..mainly because my husband of 29 years wants a divorce and doesn’t love me anymore. My life has been turned upside down, Like you I don’t have close friends and my children and sis live far away. I’m from California, most all of my mom’s sister and brother’s who are left are from Oregon. I miss the west so much. But being just a homemaker most of my life, and only part time jobs, I don’t know how I’m going to make it on my own..and the loneliness is killing me…I’m trying to breathe everyday. I hope you can find some comfort as I search too..

HI, Barbra Though I am 10 years older than you, I could have written than same scenario (minus the husband- never had one- thank God for dogs). I live in Bend, Oregon, where do you live ? Would be too fortunate if you lived in Bend ! We could take our dogs walking the many trails around here, something I try to push myself outside to do and am getting a bit better at it. Had to fill out a form recently that asked for an Emergency Contact and realized there is no one so I put “911.” If you do happen to be in my part of the state, my email is: italia9@q.com All the best, Jean

I need to get a life also. I have no friends, my adult children say they are too busy for anything to do with me. So their choice we are estranged to say the least. I have 1 sister that lives in another state that keeps pouring oil on an already toxic relationship. Days I just can’t think of a reason to get up. No where to turn.

I feel the same way you do. I am 62, widowed and all kids gone and married. I feel so alone and isolated. Wish I could find some friends and possible a soul mate, but I don’t get out much as I am depressed and the thought of fixing myself up to go out alone is something I am tired of doing.

hi John facebook is a lot of fun or barbara everyone is lonely in a different way I am stuck home with a 46 year old handi-capped son who is wonderful but I cant get out much because of that . so I have taken up sculpting and am learning an instrument by skype. some days are better then others but I find that getting out of the house whenever I feel lonely really helps a lot

They’ll be back when they age a bit. Did the divorce cause ripple effect of cooling off the mother child relationship? Give it time to heal. Were there problems in the home that caused them to become very independent and they are afloat but distant? That will heal with time, too. Best I can say. Be hopeful.

Joli, it’s really terrible, I know. I still have two household members and an extended family 150 miles away who I was never close with. The side of the family locally has never been very good, and without the older generation to hold us together, they have estranged mom and me. My husband has a similar situation with his family and he has no contact with any of them. It’s good you took a stand with your son. I did the same with my father, but he had abandoned me years before that. I had tried to reconnect with him, which was a mistake. I could easily end up alone as also I have no siblings. What is wrong with the families in the USA?????? I wonder if the same is happening elsewhere. It seems almost perfect in Asia in terms of families helping each other. Sherry in PA, soon moving South

I find every family has a story to tell and families are so broken today. So many kids think parties & drinking with their friends are more important then spending time with their parents. It’s today’s society. So sad, your not alone.

susan, although I have no chldren, I like children but i like adults much less than children. Many change for the worse when they’re no longer children. I have heard of many cases you’re describing. The kids treat the parents like garbage but come around for the inheritance like vultures on a dead animal.

I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

Hi John, I’m now not totally alone but the pattern has been all my life to lose more people in my life than I gain. What so far has helped me is that I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life-extensionist. Actually it’s possible to live for an indefinite period, maybe even forever. To be true to this belief however, you need to mainly live for yourself — not that we don’t need people as we do but this secular value may help during the times we’re lonely. If you’re already into the life extension mindset or haven’t but it sounds appealing, please reply. People put down immortalists but very rarely are any suicidal. abuse substances, attempt to harm an innocent person or pet, become obese, etc.

Hi I’m a sixty-year-old combat wounded veteran and wheelchair-bound. I spend most of my time alone because my I desire to be somewhere convenient and adapted to my disability. It’s not fun I’ve been this way for a long. Of time. You have to reach out to people. I think the best thing that happened to me was I found a power greater than myself many years ago. But not many people want to be with a sixty-year-old butchered in a wheelchair.

Oh sue, I’m so sorry for you. But let this experience be a teacher for you in the future – NOT to rely so strongly and exclusively on someone else for your happiness!!! Even if your husband didn’t divorce you….he could have had an accident and die, or worse, he’d get some long time illness and YOU would have to spend the entire rest of HIS life attending him!!! He wants a divorce? GREAT!!! Put on your beautiful smiling face, your nice sexy clothes and nice makeup and go out and enjoy yourself!!!

Of course, you want to join many good groups according to age range, location, etc. i.e.: meetup.com among them. Then you’ll always have people to go out with and even find a close friend among them! :o)

As to many of the comments here who said to be afraid not to have someone to check up on them in case of accident, illness or death….I have the very same fears as I have no family and from all the friends I always had….some moved out of the country and some have died. AND….I’m probably the veyr oldest of all here!!! So, here’s what I did besides joining as many groups as I can and going out with them to the places I choose:

I sought for a long time and found a reasonable fee estates and trust attorney who, while she won’t be checking up on me to see that I’m ok, she has made all the necessary documents so that I may die in peace knowing things will be done as I wrote them on these documents. In addition to writing my will and my trust (the latter to avoid probation), she also will be my executor, health care proxy, and living will. You can get a lot of info from the good ol’ internet. :)

(I hope I clicked on the proper “Reply” for this to go to Sue but I hope more see this info too. But I forgot to add an important item:

I made myself a purse size of my living will with the direct contact of my estates and trust attorney which I carry in all my purses and bags, suitcases, all over my apartment, etc. so that if I die or become incompetent in a pubic place, my attorney will be notified instantly. The problem is if this happens in my apartment…..for this one needs a close friend. OR, maybe paying a neighbor a token fee to be checked up say, every other day or something? I haven’t yet figured this out but I’d love to do it soon. :-)

I am 71, an introvert and don’t mind being at home. I don’t have friends, i was never close to my coworkers ( too much constant gossip and small talk). I lived here over 50 years, originally from germany, but always had different opinions and ideas than people I knew.
I had to quit my job in may to take care of my husband, but then he passed away in September. Now I am told that I need to socialize but never was good at it to begin with. I am concerned tho that i cognitively decline if I don’t. I would like to meet someone for coffee ever now and then. I live in NW Arkansas.
Immy

I’m having trouble finding the new comments on this thread and at least one other stated the same problem. I just hit the first “reply” at the top of the entire thread, not knowing what would be better. This is a wonderful thread and I hope we can all somehow use it more easily.

sorry to hear you live so far away, I just turned 75. I would love to meet a friend like you. My 2 best friends dies last year, i’m so lost. I find its so hard to meet some one new you can do things with. I live in ca. would love to find a lady to travel with. Good Luck. bttypsctll@aol.com

Betty, I don’t reply to many posts on this thread but when you said both of your friends died last year it reminded me of my own fear of losing both my household members, the only people I have in the area and the only people I’ve been very close with recently. I fear his because although I’m disabled I seem to be the healthiest of the 3 of us here. But it’s good I’m reminded sometimes because it keeps me aware of what can happen and therefore keeps me mentally as prepared as I can be. Hope you make more friends, both online and offline.

Hallo Immy, sorry that your husmand passed away. – I am Hiltrud from Germany and like to read in this page, it inspires me. What you write sounds familia to me. I am 65 and life alone.- To have a coffee with you is not possible, but if you like an e-mail contact you can write to me.- (haritawolf@arcor.de)

Hello Hiltrud, I just read your thread and thought you interesting. I’m 62 year old single man, recently had to take early retirement. I’ve worked all my life in German owned/run tool & die shops. Where do you live? I have Spinal Stenosis, and don’t get out much at all. Wonder if you like to e-mail back and forth. Dave at: sammydudleylancelot@yahoo.com

I hope you find someone to have coffee with, Immy, I wish we were closer! I’m same age and also an introvert. I manage to keep busy, mainly because I have pets to care for, I go to the gym sporadically, to church regularly though I’m a late-blooming Christian, so it’s still all new to me. I have no family here, my neighbors have their own families and lives to live so there’s really no one. I’ve recently found out that I have a spot on my lung and my internist will check me again in two months to see if it’s growing. I have another appointment with him this week to tell him I don’t want to wait 2 months, I’d like some action now. I’ve lost two sisters and a father to cancer. I don’t want to wait. Up to this I thought I was doing pretty good health wise, but apparently not. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet other people, I’d love to have someone to “hang out” with. It’s really difficult. It seems everyone has their quota of friends and don’t want any more. Anyway, hope you find someone nearby for coffee. Best wishes, Helen

I have found that sometimes you just have to be your own best friend. In today’s society loneliness will be part of almost everybody’s life because of technology. I am retired military and a friend of mine married a lady from Germany. She is a beautiful soul and he is a happy man at least the last time I saw him he was. This is all the way from Georgia. Just wait until tomorrow everything will be OK.

I am a 60 year old lady working full time. I would like to meet a Christian man with whom we can have a wonderful friendship. If it is supposed to be maybe love. I live in L.A California. I love moderate hiking in the beautiful outdoors. My first commitment is To Christ, and giving back to others. I have very few relatives which makes the holidays lonely. If nothing else chatting friends.

Cindy, Not sure you’re the one replying about the Golden Girls, but whoever it is, anyone with an empty bedroom or a friend who is also lonely and doesn’t want to live alone can start house-sharing. Everyone says NOT CRAIGSLIST! but if you can find someone to get to know for a long time, someone who does not have a lease ending next month or who needs to escape NOW from a bad situation, you can make a friend, if not a future roommate. I will be putting up local (physical) notices, trying to find people on Craigslist and networking…anything safe and socially acceptable, right? :) It may take time, even many years but if nothing is done, nothing will happen. :) To chat about house-sharing or anything to do with technology, another favorite topic of mine, please email: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

To Effie: I live in Virginia Beach near Town Center. My husband and I moved here from NJ. Have you heard of meet up groups? I am a member of one for female baby boomers. Great group of women from all backgrounds. We get together for lunch, HAPPY hours,walks. I have made some friends through this website.

Hi Sherry, great networking idea. Looking to move and share house, but dont want to go thru craigs list, little bit scary. I am living alone now, and have been for a few years, and I hate it. Kids grown and are very busy with their own lives. Any suggestions on how to find a roommate and a safe place.

/Trish, I will also try to meet a lot of people in person and get to know them. Living with friends is a safe way to get good housemates but you need to know the people are really good enough and compatible. I think this simply takes time. I hope to become a social butterfly after I move. You need to know the people a long time and do background checks early on so you don’t waste too much time and energy. let me know how you do. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

Trish, also curious where you’re living and if you would ever consider relocating to another area and live in someone else’s home or be a co-owner of a home with a person, family, etc. ? I want to have an “immortality” community home for people like myself who are life-extensionists with the goal to live forever, even though it seems unrealistic. (We may never get world peace either but there have been scads of organizations working on it.)

I just moved back to Michigan my husband passed away in Tennessee I live there for 5 years I felt so lonely I thought it would be better if I move back to Michigan near my children and my grandchildren but that isn’t working out too well because they all work most of the time I very seldom see them I’m get snowed in and I have to hire somebody to shovel me out I think I’m going to move back to Tennessee maybe not where I was at but I like Tennessee but no I don’t have any friends here and no one to talk to and yes it gets very long. What’s the living conditions in Michigan are very high if you’re living on a fixed income they are a lot cheaper in Tennessee the weather is a lot nicer in Tennessee if you live near Knoxville Tennessee there’s a lot to do so I’m thinking in March I’ll put the house on the market and move back down to Tennessee.

Choose the poker network depending on your level of
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HI, I am 66 years old, so far in good health raised 2 daughters by myself. My husband passed away when he was 40 years old. I never re-married nor lived with a man. As a Social Worker I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abusive males.
My girls are 33 and 36 years old, they have their own lives and I find myself alone every day. I do volunteer a lot, but I go home to an empty home. It’s so hard to find a companion since all the males I have met are looking for younger woman. I look younger then my age, but as soon as they find out I am 66 years old they disappear. Loneliness is hard sometimes more then others. I believe in God and I pray a lot, but I guess some are not fortunate to find a companion. I will keep the faith that I will find someone until the time comes to meet my maker. I want to thank every one that wrote on this website because I realized I am not alone feeling lonely.

I am a 66year old man and live alone i have a son 36 but have not seen him for 10 years. I know what loneliness is like i am average health and look more like in my 50s but i don’t go out and socialise and feel lonely all the time.

Where do you live? My mother is 76 years old and We lost Dad about 2 years ago. My Mom is the Sweetest person, but lately seems she has been stating how lonely she is. I would love for her to have a friend to go to movies, dinner, etc with but not sure how to find other healthy 70+ individuals that would enjoy the same. She is in Thornton Colorado. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate hearing them. Thank you.

I am a 63 year old divorcee, When I first got divorced and moved from our home to another town, I went online to sites called Meetups, to meet people that liked to do the things I liked to do, listening to cover bands, and dancing, or going to the movies. I ended up meeting a nice group of men and women who lived near me. We have been friend for 6 years now. We do many more than just dinner and dancing. We have traveled together as well. Just a thought. Good luck with your mom.

HI Judy my name is Victoria and I’m 57 years old. I have 3 sons but they’re all grown and gone. My husband works constantly and it gets so lonely for me at times. To make it worse, my little dog passed away a month ago. She was 14 years old. I sometimes feel like life is just passing me by. Anyway, I would enjoy a friend to talk to as well.

Hi Judy, I just found this page this evening as I researched wondering if I am losing whats left of my little mind. :)
My daughter and 3 grandaughters came to stay with me a couple of months ago due to marital issues. I had just moved from my house into a 2 bedroom mobil, and was not quite settled as it took a lot for me, to make this move. then they all went home, which is a great thing, I do hope and pray they can work thru it. But it has been hard for me to adjust yet again to moving, and trying to feel settled, and now totally alone again except for my issabella my dog…. she is good therapy and I try to walk her everyday for her and for me.. it does help.. funny how all our relationships with our kids and grandkids change over time as we get older and they are getting older but they are still our kids. sometimes its hard to reach out as they are all so busy with their own lives, that is why this may be a nice way to chat and connect with others regarding all lifes on going change… Send me a note some time… :) keep smiling and when you get stressed we get busy :)

I m kind of in the same boat. I m a 62 yr old female living alone and haven t spoken to my daughter in years. I like playing cards with some female friends but don t go out much other than church on Sunday. There just aren’t t many men in this age group who aren t married. It is what it is! I didn t choose to be alone but here I am! Granted, it would be much better to share everyday life with somebody, but what are we to do?

My husband has been in a nursing home for a year. My whole life changed. I had friends that use to get together with me and craft. I had to stop doing that but I thought they would still be my friends. But I don’t hear from them anymore. At first I was still cheerful and hopeful that I would make new friends and have things to do. But now it seems like an awful cycle. The more alone I am, the more depressed I get and less confident I am getting. I wish my phone would ring or I had future plans.

The friends I thought I had, the ones that knew my husband never even call to see how he is doing. It breaks my heart.

I was,wondering if anyone has or is going thru this and how they are handling it.

I am in my early 60’s. I am very active and love to do just about anything, but it is a little hard when you dont have a partner. I really dont go anywhere to meet people and am brand new to this site. Just kinda stumbled onto it by accident, or maybe not. I live alone except for my two little dogs, who are great company. I was married way longer then I should of been, and finally realized as much as I prayed the nasty, selfish, dishonest, unloving to everyone except himself was never going to change.( And the list goes on ) So I had to. I loved being married, I love the family life. And envied couples that had a loving caring relationship. Age is just a number to me, kindness is what is important. I am glad I found this site. Smile and be happy. If anyone would like to chat, my e mail is neeewh@gmail. Would love to hear from you.

How do you know you are older than anyone you speak to I am almost 83 and lost my son and my daughter many years ago then my husband died 13yrs ago I live on my own with my dog and two cats they keep me company I couldn’t live without them do you have any pets I live in Norfolk in England but I was born in London where do you live

Hi Judy, I am 69 yrs old and live in ca,I am retired. my husband passed 15 yrs ago.I was the type that never had time to sit and have coffee with friends.all ways busy. I’m paying for it dearly now . kids are all grown the only one i am close to is my granddaughter. I am in good health but so lonely and bored. Some days i think I will go out of my mind. My dog and I go to the river every morning where at least I can say Hi to people but of course they have their on lives. I would love to find someone to do things with.would love for you to email me at barbarahatton1948@gmail.com would love to talk.

Hi Malcom,
I know how you feel. I too have a very adult son, and have spoken once since 2007.
This life is lonely but I do put on my makeup, dress up and go out, even if it’s to the shopping centre.
I have a dog that makes sure he is walked, if not he will follow me around the house making me feel guilty until he gets his walk.
I am searching the Internet for active adult clubs.
I’m not looking for a man, just friends.
You can send me an email if you like.
Regards,
Maria

You sound like me. I am thesame age and live alone, which is something I never thought would happen. My children both live in the next town, but they both have children and full time jobs I love the animals too, they are the best company, do you have pets now? I live in a co op building, no dogs allowed, it would be nice to have one. Id like to hear from you..

Hi My name is Char. & happy to be here. I’m 68, widowed & I do get lonely too. I never thought I would as I was always surrounded by family. Like some of you, my kids are grown & I miss the days when the grandkids were little & I was a big part of their world. I have some friends, all married so it’s not the same since my husband passed away. Be fun to chat with some new friends

Dear Maria, I live in Columbia ConnecticutI would love to be your Moms friend. Too bad we live so far away, but I will be thinking of her. I know the loneliness! My heart goes out to her and I hope a ice lady reaches out to her! Always Judy

Looks like alot of us are all in same boat. I have 2 grown children that quit coming to see or call me when i stopped giving them financial help . Im 66 live alone in orlando but tired of heat . I wanna move to nc or tn and see snow would love to have a roommate female thats active

Do any of the women live near Tyler, Texas? I am 69 yrs old and my husband of 48 yrs passed away 2 yrs ago. We had a great marriage for 48 yrs and now, I am extremely lonely. I do have friends but most are married. My email is ritahanson30@gmail.com If you are interested in getting to know one another, email me.

Husband left for another 8 years ago and at first I worked, worked, worked to keep busy and deal with it. After a year, I was so glad he left. He was dishonest and had taken most of our money to give her.
I have always enjoyed people.
I retired early as he said we were moving to another state and that was a lie and now I cannot work in the public school system.
I have substituted for five years and a couple of weeks ago I will not do it anymore. It is a thankless job but all I can get. There are no jobs in this farm town and the people gear to their families and friends they have known for their lifetime.
I moved here two years ago to be near my daughter and several months ago she has decided not see me.
This has put me in a crisis mode but there is nothing I can do.
I find I am facing such isolation and with moving to an economically deprived area there is not much to do.
I have not gone out to dinner, had a cup of coffee or a conversation with a body in years. I exercise an hour each day for 30 years, am 71 outgoing, interested in so much.

I have come to terms that I must begin putting me first and not to sure what to do with this realization. Also, I have begun to know how much isolation I am involved in and how it is impacting me. I go to the library just to use the computer as I have no internet ( money) and to be with people. I have done tremendous amount of volunteer work for the last ten years. Need a job as I do not have funds but hiring my age is unheard of. Have tried for 3 years here.

We all have such harsh situations but I recently decided I want to enjoy the rest of my life. Perhaps I need to move but I do not know where. I wish the people I am reading about lived closer. I guess I am putting me first now and know I have to love me. I do not want to die and know I stayed in this town that is so limited and the people here do not gravitate to new people.

It is my realization that most likely there are lonely people here I do not know with circumstances and there are so many as described by the people on this site. The media and the life steam is all abut the young and the consumerism so even as a Senior much is focused on the young.

The isolation in our society is so prevailing and it is hidden.
As a Dr. of education I am a researcher. And we are not the priority of our society. This is the hidden population.
sbergin 473@gmail.com

Hi Sall bergin, how are you doing? I feel your pain, I am also alone, and hate it. I loved being married, and hung in there way longer then I should of. Hoping and praying everyday things would change. And a very nasty person would suddenly wake up and change. I have alot of regrets that I didnt leave sooner. Was married to an extremly selfish, unsenitive, vulgar nasty man. Who on the outside hid it very well. Where do you live. I am in a nice state where there is alot to do, but looking to move, only for the fact is, I dont have piece of mind with him so close. Dont let your daughter upset you, kids can be very cold hearted and selfish at times, it is really sad, but kids now a days seem like they dont have the same values. I am glad to hear that you are putting yourself first. That is something I had never done, and because of it was in a unhappy place. But am working on that now. I would love to chat with you, if you want, e mail me my e mail is neeewh@gmail.com. Smile and hang in there.

Where do you live Vivian? I live in NYC and hope to hear from anyone from that city. For those of us who seek friends from this thread it would be nice and important to indicate the city where they live don’t you think?

CYNTHIA of the Bronx in NYC, if you can read this, please contact me here: Adela at: pisardela@gmail.com.

ANYONE ELSE WHO LIVES IN NYC PLEASE CONTACT ME so we can exchange likes and dislikes, etc? As a preview:

I’m a female in the 80s and with no health problems. Very active taking aerobics 3 times a week, dance international folk dancing, I’m a lousy bowler but love it, like Karaoke, ADORE ALL animals, love the water, swimming, etc. Not fond of loud, violent and pornographic movies, plays, etc. I adore classical music, the 40s musicals and grand opera and classical ballet….If you respond I’d like to know what things you enjoy so that I may also try them?

I kno how you feel. I am 72, widowed since I was 65, and worked until I was 70. I feel pretty good overall, can do most anything I want to and everyone says I look good (but I wouldn’t expect them to say I look bad) . I am reticent by nature and that has not helped me at all. My 4 kids don’t have any time for me , honestly. They are so “busy” it has hurt my self esteem unbelievably. They never even offer me a plate of food.. I found myself groveling for attention from them but have just about got that under control. I tried a dating site once and it is so true men that are my age don’t want women that are my age. The whole thing kind of humiliated me. I talk to my cats or my chickens. My first husband was in the army and we never stayed anywhere long enough for me to forge a lasting friendship. My 2nd husband was very possessive and I worked full time I just didn’t fight him over it. Now he is gone, the work friends that I was close to are still working and don’t have time for a friend who can’t talk shop with them. And you cannot make an old friend. The more I am at home the less I want to go anywhere. This is not as big a problem in the summertime as it is in the winter when the days are so dreary and the nights are so long and you can’t go outside. So I just go from day today doing the best I can and trying to make the best of it. I am so lonely though

I know how you feel. I have been widowed 2 yrs and I retired to take care of my husband in his final year. Now, I have moved from Houston to Tyler, Tx to be near my Sister. My 2 Sons are grown and are married with lives of their own. They rarely come to see me. They are busy with their careers and their children. I hate being alone. I stay busy with quilting and going out with some of my friends but nothing seems to cure this lonlyness. I just feel a deep sadness. Email me or call. Would love to talk.

Peggy, I truly enjoyed your message. Now I say enjoy but felt so close
To all you had said. First of all I hold a lot of love in my heart. You didn’t
Give your age and you know something it doesn’t matter. We feel as we
Feel, regardless of age. I won’t accept you can’t love someone if you are
A certain age. Elders are here and they have every right to a happy, loving
Life as much as anyone else. Peggy I believe that not one senior should be
Shoved in a corner on Thanksgiving or Christmas like a baby in a high chair.
I have seen this over and over and my heart goes out to the,. They can’t be
Included in the conversation and I believe they would have so much to say
And people would be In awe of how much they know. My daughter has said
Many times Mom now we c.an go out to lunch and do so much together. Yes
She works but does have spare time. The promise of going out to lunch never
Happens. People see to think it won’t matter to them as they are probably
Tired. I feel livid with anger over this. Tired, no totally bored over doing
Nothing. I am a Christian and pray so much to God for someone to love
And bring them happiness in turn. Peggy we can’t let people know our own
Feelings better then we do. I am in Oregon. I truly wish I knew where more
People lived. I hope you will give me your thoughts on my message. Peggy
We are here for a reason. Never let anyone tell you different. Ok

i lost my wife when i just turned sixty.i have a son 33 he just got engaged i work 5 days a week i am going to be 71 but don’t look it i am lonely without my wife my brother tells me never retire i would go crazy but he doesn’t understand he has a wife i would like friends to go to dinner with all my friends are dead now i miss a female to talk to about anything. frank

Hi Frank,
Where do you live? I am in Eugene Oregon .
Maybe by now you have met someone to go and do things with??
As the post was a few months ago.
It’s hard to tell who is getting a response on here, but I am working on it. Lol
Smiles
Erika

This is for Gloria, I can’t tell whose “reply” button I’ve hit! I’m in Live Oak, Texas, right outside SA. Maybe we could chat once in awhile? I never considered myself a lonely person, but since at 71, I now have health issues which make me feel that I’m very alone. No one to talk to about worries, etc. I’d just like someone to “visit” with sometimes. I have pets to take care of, I try to go to the gym but still haven’t made it on a regular basis. I’m interested in a lot of different things but having money to do and go is always an issue. Anyway, if you’d like to chat my email is gertrude712@gmail.com. Best wishes, Helen W……I noticed there’s another Helen so I’m Helen W.

i am 72 lost my wife 6 years ago after being married from 1963 to 2012,i have done well in life i will share my life with a nice woman. I love travel
going out for dinner and you never know what might happen love might happen 1 more time,,,plus i would be able to help a woman that m9ght a hand with bills or grand kids lol to make a happy family i hope i might find a woman that between the both we might finish our lives with being someone she can hold on to and not worry, i know this might sound strange but if everyone was like me and maybe her see how all would be different in life..

Hi Anthony, my name is Shirley. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago.. I still work so that keeps me occupied. I like to have fun and would like to meet someone with a sense of humor and similar interests.. I am a young 64 year old lady. I live in Illinois. Where do you live?

Hi
I’m a 66 year old small women
I love everyone that seemed to be my downfall
I.was married 32 years to a narsist
I just want to be happy no money required
I live make8ng do with what I have
I gave him everything I the divoice I just wanted out of a loveless violent marriage
Money to me is evil but necessary for bills
I don’t need fancy things
I live buying second hand
I’m just tired of being used
I just want someone who loves me to hold me at nite and kiss me for no reason
I’m a person who’s always trying to help others instead of myself I know I need to stop it because I always get taken advantage of but I also know it’s not going to stop because that’s who I am
I would live to talk when you have the time
Love
Martha
Nickname
Marley

why are you folks so darn needy? Why must you be around people to feel good? Nowadays real friends dont exist. Their company is shallow. Focus instead on your self worth, learning, traveling, eating, music etc. If you have good healthcare, you already have a luxury many dont have. If you really need sex, just offer sex directly. Believe me men will hump anyone. He may not want to go out with you (bc men are immature and want to put out a certain image) but in private yes he will sex you. Im glad at 33 i am already self sufficient. being alone older will not bother me in the least.

Hi HHH,
In all due respect, needy does not equal lonely or visa vetsa.
It is great at “”33” you have things so worked out.
I’m not saying it in a rude context, but come you age 63 as myself. Then you can review where you are at in comparison.
At 33, I had everything figured out as well as thought things would not change.
Smiles
Erika

hhh, looks like you’ve left a couple of posts. It’s harder to have kids and lose then, especially by death or being disowned for no good reason. You’re smart if you can be happy by yourself. If you’re happy living alone or sharing expenses with a roommate, those can be god too. I don’t want to live alone, as I’ve been born with a depression gene. My mom’s side is riddled with depression, thus the community home I am planning. Just hope I can find people for it when I soon relocate.

erica im 33 and I grown accustomed to having no relationship or friends. at all. by choice, because Im a misanthrope. I can understand how PHYSICAL limitations may come up in the future, which is why taking care of yourself and having health insurance is important. But most of the older people here arent talking about serious physical limitations that make it impossible to live. nor excruciating physical pain. nor being homeless. See those are REAL problems and I would only worry in older age if I didnt have those basic needs met. What most of you guys are whinging about is being “lonely” because nobodys around. I say who cares? if you eat, have a roof, healthcare and still get around, then why does it matter ic others are around or not? getting to enjoy your own company and entertaining yourself is important. I dont think i will have any problem aging alone as long as my physical needs are met. Ive already lived without partnern kids or friends for 8 years. I even work on my own too.

hhh, you do have a point. Seems most on here have enough money for necessities but many have been disowned or simply cast aside in every way by their families, even their own children and some don’t even know why they’ve seemingly been disowned. I don’t know why they have no friends. I DO have a severe physical disability: an “invisible” but very real spine problem which limits my sitting time to 1/5 hours a day and standing is even worse. I go shopping with a lot of pain, strain….after 30 minutes leaning over a shopping cart, I feel like I’d give anything to get off my feet if I had to! Also the “car culture”, the need to go almost everywhere by car…I hate it! I like public transportation, but with the extreme cold most of the year here in PA and some extreme heat, the only good public transportation is taxi service! So I think here I’ve defended both you and some of the older people on here. And btw, i’m 64, and have had sitting disability with mild standing disability starting at age 51.

Hi Frank,
I feel your pain. It isn’t easy to live alone after a spouse dies. Get involved with your church and check out some of the over 60 groups in your town. By all means, get out of the house. Good luck to you.

Good morning Frank. I’m a widow living in Florida. Working and happy go lucky lady. But, I would like to meet a good man that really needs a good friend. I don’t have a problem being single, but I miss sharing my life, with somebody that has the same needs. Today I turned 63, still good looking, abd healthy. I hope everything is Ok with you. Karin

Hi Malcom
Your comment made me sad. I do understand. I have no obligations with my 4 adult children and I do not see them. They are busy with their own lives. I recently moved in a 55 year old community which has it’s ups and downs. I come from the health care industry, later law enforcement so I can be a loner although the park has lots to offer plus I’m in the hub of a great city. Maybe I’m still getting use to being alone. I thought I was way past that. I feel like time is flying and my money is not. Would that help? Yes I think so. I just do not like feeling depressed.

Hi T,
Erika here. I am really sorry to hear about your back spasms be problem. That must be really hard.
The people who have had children who just go about their own business with not a thought of alone be mom or dad, well
I would hope that they change. I just lost my mom in June. She was 95. I’m the baby of 4, and I think the most devestated.
Fortunately for her she was still about her own mind and mostly independent. She had a major stroke and passed in a few hours.
I totally love people, but just woyld like a guy to be married to this last 3rd of my life.
The -I guess guy HHH, it’s sad that some people don’t need others. I think that we were created to look be people but the world is looking dim.
I have taken notice-finally to the local parks and recreation that have many coffee l trips and events. I am signing up for those!!
Anyone live in Eugene Oregon? I’m always happy to walk or if you are bound to your home- let me visit you!
Smiles
Erika

Hello Malcolm, I am new to this forum and I wrote you a very very lengthy message and somehow or other I clicked something and lost it…. so basically I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings. I too 66 and I live alone and I have no children. I Went through a divorce a few years ago that I did not want and I am recovering from betrayal and trying to start over.
I hope I can figure out how we can possibly communicate again and bless your heart and I wish you the best.
SherryM

To Sherry, Sue or anyone in or near Myrtle Beach, SC, or who would considering living there, I’m in PA near Philly but I hate it here and love the South and beachy areas. No kids, very little family left, feel very vulnerable and I’m disabled, living on pension and SS. Landlord wannabe.

……and I would like to hear from anyone, anywhere who believes aging rejuvenation treatment will probably be a reality in the near future, enabling most of us alive now to have a chance to become younger biologically, (while of course growing older chronologically), giving us an indefinitely increased lifespan. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

This is to Sued, Since I’m physically disabled, I’d need someone to do most of the physical work to run a bnb. It’s not a bad idea once I have people to help. These people will be relied on 100% so they must live in. Also I need general helpers around the home almost full time. It’s actually for my mom and husband also since we’re all physically disabled. I would need to learn how to screen overnight guests. Not sure even how to screen the live-in workers. I would like to have a community home more than any other type because I need people to count on to be around. Bnb I guess is what people used to call a boarding house. Open to this in the future.

I agree, the common thread is everyone is looking for someone to communicate with. Simple friendship. It should be easier than it seems to be.
I’m a 74 year old widow in Charlotte,NC. I have family here & friendships but everyone has lonely times. Things change unexpectantly when you become a widow.
I’m happy to email anyone who wants a pen pal. Or have coffee with anyone in my area.

63 living in So. Ca also. Looking for companion for movies, dinner, theater and maybe some travel adventures. Single mother divorced since 86, never remarried. 2 boys one I lost in 2007, although my youngest is still very attentive I’m looking for someone whose my age and still wants to enjoy life.coolkizzy1@gmail.com

Me Too! I just wish I had someone to talk with – anyone! My family members are gone , hubby passed on a few years ago. I have only one really good friend and she moved years ago with her family. I’m 70, still working (thank God), and healthy but feel very lonely.

Hi,Malcom I m with you on this ,loneliness and grown Children. I’m financially ok but I need a friend not a lover.I’m 65 live by myself with 3 dogs and one cat. I still like to have fun but all my friends are soo much younger.I hope we both find a companion.

Hi Malcolm,
I am age 63, 64 this November. Been alone 3 years now.
Seems like all the men my age want younger women.
I am active, and told that I look younger than my age.
Does not seem to make a difference.
You can certainly send me a note. I live in Oregon.
Where do you reside?
Smiles
Erika

Hi Erika,
I live in the Seattle area but my son is the conductor for the Eugene women’s chorus. I am 66 and many of his singers are close to my age. They have a wonderful time! I’m sure if you google Eugene Women’s chorus that info will come up! Good luck!
Patsi

Hi Parsi,
Thank you for the info on the Woman’s Choir. I did look it up, I’m not sure of you were indicating to contact to join them? That would be nice if I could only sing. LOL. Well not totally off key, I can sing in church, but I think in a choir they would not want me and that is ok though. Or maybe hookup for friendship?
Thank you
Smiles
Erika

I know about sadness ive not seen my daughter in 10 yrs also . Kids are cruel and selfish. I live in orlando but selling my home i wAnna move out of fl . Im a retired female used car dealer for over 30 yrs.

Gail, I live in Weeki Wachee, also in California, Vallejo City, retired Registered Nurse for 50 years., I am 71 and looking for a friend. I am very alone , no family member.
At this time of my life I am just too late for anything.
Take care.

I am 61 nut the rest of your comment applies to me. You woulkd think, in this technological age, there would be things like Skypew Communities, where people could discover others who share their interests and with whom they could at least have vodeo chats, no matter what their geographical location.

Hi I am a irish lady who was married for 45yrs to a violent alcholic who eventually left me for a lady older than me I thought been alone would be wonderful but alas I find the loneliness crippling my 2 grown up children are married and live in another country and been isolated for so long in my marriage have no friends afraid they might know i was battered please know that the world is full of loneliness M

You must have gotten lots of replies. I look for a male friend to chat to have some company, even though it may be remote. It could be a start. I know loneliness very well too. I’m just like you, pretty good health, don’t socialize much and cannot meet people since I work from home. My email is gb7402@hotmail.com. Maybe we can start chatting on whatssap or something. Reply to me if you’d like a friend/company. I am about to turn 55 years old. My name is Graciela.

Im around your age and most people also think im younger! I have been moving from state to state in hope to just to connect with the someone! I thinking about selling my house and move to a smaller town where people might be more open and friendly!! I would like to enjot my life again!! This loneliness is not for me!! Nita

I am 66 to I don’t look it I’m still very active and doing well my husband passed away almost 2 years ago I still work I still work not that I have to I volunteer my time I get up with a purpose every day to do something nice for somebody

Hi Malcom, where are you from? I am also in my early 60’s, it is very hard at times meeting people when you are older. Although I am very active and outgoing it still can be difficult. If you would like to chat e mail me, lcrem51@gmail.com

Hi Malcolm, I dont know if you received my previous comment, I am brand new to this site. I am also in my early 60’s, and know it can be extremely hard at times meeting new people, although I am very active and outgoing it can still be hard. If you would like to chat please e mail me at lcrem51@ gmail.com

Email me if you’re still alone. I just lost my wife in January,2017. I miss having a person to live with and share with. At 87 I may sound old but I have a dear friend aged 55 who finds me attractive but is married and not about to disrupt her family by leaving him. Any interest? I am a sincere devout Christian and that is totally important to me

Vivian: if you look me up on Facebook you will see who I am and what my Christian philosophy is as well as a lot of photos of my precious recently departed Beautiful wife of 68 years. We started keeping company at age 16 and never quit till she died five months ago. But she is gone, and in not coming back, and I miss her like a part of my being is gone with her. If you trace my Facebook page back to January of this year, you’ll see the whole sad story and also the kind of friends that I have. Thanks for sending me your message

Hi Gordon,
Thank you for the response. It would be nice to have someone to share dinners, movies and just talking. I’ll try and find you on Facebook. Do I need a last name?
What are your interests? It would be nice to get to know you.
Enjoy your day.
Vivian:))

Hi guys, just like the person who said that they click on the click here to see reply, well there is something wrong because it just directs you to the top of ALL the comments, annoying actually.
Erika

I’m 65 year old divorcee, still working. My children are grown with their families. We talk, but it is no comparison to someone who’s interests are shared. I love dressing up so I attend church regularly and sing in a few choirs. I too wish I just had one to talk to. Maybe I will email someone.

Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

Gordon – Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

hello Karman being lonely and lonesome is a terriable feeling i know i am a 76 yr. young white male could pass for 60 so i have been told. i lost my lovely and beautiful wife of 51 yrs. to cancer. two yrs. ago and i am a very lonesome man. i have a condition that keeps me from going out much where i might meet a beautiful lady,so i don’t get out much.oh i go fishing quite a bit and ride my motorcycle a lot i love to ride,but i don’t like crowds. i would love to talk to you about your being so lonesome. if you would like to talk my name is Jackie Smith i live in the beautiful Ozark mount. of Arkansas Bentonville,AR. the home of wall mart i love it hear so much to do and see,if you want to email me my address is motorcycleman@gmail.com love to hear from you Jackie.

I can feel your pain as I type. I have lost all hope also. Perhaps we won’t be able to help each other ..I am early 70 ish. Had 3 children 2 boys and a girl. My sons have disowned me. I don’t know why. I am heart-broken. I recently move, a month ago. It is very hard to live for me. I have no incentive to go ine and would like the floor to open up and swallow me. I will wish you hope and courage. Lillian

Hi Lillian,
I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
Take care.

Hi Lillian,
I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
Take care.

I am so sorry . Can you try to reach out to your children? I am a Nurse also. I know how hard the job is while bringing up kids. You should not be treated this way and deserve good people in your life.

I live in So Cal… and find myself alone too much. I have a good sense of humor and like to do things – however I do not have friends anymore – they have moved away etc… I would like to make friends………but nor sure how to at this stage. I have joined groups but still have not made individual friendships… having spent most of my life in relationship it’s now hard to pick up the pieces of being single…

I frank I’m at that age also. I don’t know what state you live in I’m in Illinois. I feel the same way. my girlfriend live on the south side of the city. I would like someone my age to have dinner with also. let me know if you want to talk. Maybe exchange numbers. hope that your family don’t judge a book by its color.

Hi Mary, thanks so much for your concerns. Yes I did try to reach out, by messages and mails, but no returns so I gave up.
They disowned me after they finished college, they are well educated. Now they had moved and I don’t know where they are.
I were the best mother , in millions years I would never thought my sons treat me this way. It hurt so much.
At my age, I consider my life is over, and I accept what will happen at the end of my life.
Thank so much and I am very greafull to all of you.
Take care and God bless.

To Lillian ,
This is Sue, I am very interested to corresponding with you. We have something in common, we both had been disowned by our sons and both in very deep depression. I just hope and pray that you find peace with yourself.
Take care.

I feel the same. I’m 60 years old, divorced for 13 years. Used to drink heavily so had lots of so called friends. I no longer drink, and now have no one. I just want a friend. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and a son. My one daughter has disowned me, and is pregnant with my granddaughter I’ll never see. I do not get along with my oldest daughters 8 year boyfriend, and so I’m no longer invited to family functions. I’m imcredibly alone. Am presently on a leave of absence from my job due to extreme depression. Men my age want younger woman, and I really just want friendship

Hello. My name is Arnold. I am 77 years old. My wife died over a year ago and I am totally alone. My three sons do not talk to me. They want money. I have a home but hate to be alone. I really need a companion. I live near Austin, Texas.

I feel your pain. I am 65 and just lost my one true love Dec. 31 of last year and my children have disowned me too and i dont know why. I am so very lonely. Some days are just unbearable. I would love to be able to travel but i am very limited on my funds and i cant work because of back problems so i feel there is no purpose for me any more. I live in Utah. Diane

Diane, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but I can tell you this. You have a purpose in this life. Everyone does. Of course, living in Utah does not help. Only kidding. I heard twenty people who live there, love it. I am a 73 year old married man with a disabled wife who I look after now as I have become her “caregiver”. Therein lies my purpose in life. We are basically roommates now, but like they said, “in sickness and in health”. Feel free to write to me if you wish. I live in Florida.

Joe, hi there. This is a new blog to me, and as I’ve read down through all the experiences we “older” folks have, I’m most struck and happily by your sense of humor!! Thanks so much for this. I believe loneliness is a temporary cloud that visits, but the isolation is what can be so unraveling! At 67, I’m just so thankful to be here at all, but I’ve always felt that way. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and so i have a new goal to beat this, but I try to focus on living. I am an artist still in some ways searching for my muse, but it makes life interesting and joyful.
I wish you well from my heart. I have an acquaintance whose wife has deteriorated for a decade with Alzheimer’s and he too carries the weight of love tested beyond what most may face. I would be a friend if you would like to communicate. I’m in Houston but hope to return one day to the west coast, maybe back to Puget sound. The beauty is astounding, a walk through a forest can bring everyone a renewed sense of wonder and peace. Best to you and everyone here.

Hi Karmen Franco. I am 55 and we have almost the same thing in common that we’re dealing with. I just came about this site on google when I wasn’t even looking for it. Here I am. My name is Kendrick. I lost my wife 5 years back. Age is just a number as I am not letting age factor hinder me from my happiness. If you feel we can get to know each other and see where it will lead to then you can write me shazzy4455@gmail.com. Good night.

I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance.

I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance. Plus I have no choice, due to a physical disability that greatly limits my sitting and standing time. Meanwhile I must be supported by my husband.

I am also a woman your age who never married but was very involved with my siblings and their children. Nieces & nephews are now grown and living around te country. So I am experiencing incredible loneliness. Do you have any ideas how to cope with this feeling at this stage of life?

Hi Karman.
I am brand new to the site and wondered what area of the country you live in ?
I am in central Arkansas.
I am glad I found this site and hope that by supporting each other in a nonjudgmental way we can find Positive solutions to each of our unique situations.
My frustrations with using a dating site is that most of the men that I have met are extremely conservative and I am somewhat more liberal in my political thinking.
It would be nice to find a companion that I could share my political views and enjoy that kind of company.

No you are not alone…..I am in my upper 70s, extremely active and very healthy…..I feel just exactly as you do. All men are looking for is younger women, so I have given up on them.

I have a daughter in another state, I am in tx, another daughter 35 miles away from me , 2 grand sons – they are all too busy for me and I have a son in south tx who is a workaholic ….. so what does a mom do. I love to travel but do not want to travel alone. My friends have become my family, but I would still love to have my children visit me now and then or ask me to come and see them. I do not expect a formal invitation, but when I mention going to see them it’s always “will let you know”. Loneliness is a terrible feeling.

Hi Karmen, I am Cheryl…65 I just found this page as I again try to adjust to living totally alone, except for my big dog and best friend Isabella. Sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, that is never easy. I was married for close to 25 years when my husband decided to run off and leave me and our teenagers after moving us to another state and then try to try understand what happened to him???? some things in Life take us on some crazy trails… and learning to live again alone is very challenging to say the least… it is trully a learning and growing experience, sometimes very peaceful and nice and then all at once its so quiet and lonesome. I finished a medical treatment in 2016, am better now but sill feel the fatigue, but when I start with stinking thinkin I try to remind myself to get busy attacking a project of which there are always way to many. I was finally able to get a ymca membership to try and do water aerobics and take better care of me, which is not always easy… but very needed in order to keep up.. I know also that reading the statistics on how many married people or those with partners also get lonely. Which I felt in my marriage also… so I guess it is good to know that we are not alone in those days where we feel lonely. Nice chatting….

You are hardly alone. Reading all the replies there are many many others like you. As a matter of fact I found this site wondering who else feels lonely even after an accomplished life. I believe it is a cultural matter the absence of options for mature people to integrate and enjoy life. I’m 60 and look younger, but even from my own children I perceive a distance that grows bigger with time. I hope we persevere in working to find a life full of adventure and new dreams. Our heart still beats and our feelings run deeper than before. Looks are only circumstantial, soul to soul communication is more important now. I wish you all and myself the best.

Hello Karmen
I am in the same situation as you. You are right that it does ease the burden of loneliness to know other people are in similar situations. Not that I want anyone else to be lonely because its tough. So every day I do my best to stay positive. Dating is a whole different world now
Hoping the best for you.

I have been talking online with lots of guys from South Asia and they’re interested even though I’m 64. Many people nowadays are going overseas to find love when they’re older as in the show 90 Day Fiance.

I am 71 years old, I feel alone all the time, I am active and healthy , I have going to the senior center to play bingo, mah Jong and some times eating lunch there. But when getting back home, I still feel lonely and depressed . I don’t sleep much, maybe 2 hours a night. I am worry about the future down the road, oh boy golden year is not golden as I thought of.

Suedo and others, so many people seem to have the empty nest syndrome. I would hate having to live alone. I got to idea for a community home when I realized my household of 3 is just too small for me. I grew up in a 4 generation home and it was great. Now I need to create a similar home but it will be with friends or live in workers or rooming tenants or a combination. Look for a solution, don’t let it take you down, especially now that aging rejuvenation is actually very close. Been following this only since the 1990’s and I can tell, it’s really close to at least start to slow aging with medical control. It’s bad to feel you greatly lack sleep, Suedo. Really you need to think hard about a solution. Leave no stone unturned. Your life depends on it.

Sherry,
What a good idea. I plan to run an Airbnb right in my home. The house is rented right now. Why not run a little business and meet a bunch of people all over ?
I have to do something to keep myself busy before I go nut.

I don’t know how long it’s been since you put that post on here but hey my name is Diane I am 59 years old a Christian woman that lives alone and I am a very lonely isolated person I never dreamt that as I age my life would become so empty I really need some good girlfriends to share life with to share laughs with to share meals with to share a life stories with I just don’t have any friends anymore I just feel more lonely everyday

Hi Joy, I dont know if your friend is still looking for a companion, but would love to get to know him. I presently live in North Carolina but am moving to Florida in the next few weeks. I dont really have much family. Two sons, that are always to busy with their families to really even bother. I just somehow stumbled onto this site tonight, so I am brand new and not to sure how it really works yet. But my e mail address is lcrem51@gmail.com. would love a new friend.

I am 53 and have been married for 28 years. We have a big age difference. I feel emotionally battered for reasons I will not go into here. Suffice it to say my husband decided he wants a divorce. I am uncertain as to whether he will follow through or not. I live in a rural area where there simply is not work that I can support myself. I currently work 3 part time jobs and still don’t make enough to support myself. Most of the jobs in this area require someone to be able to lift 50 pounds repetitively or push and pull heavy weight which I can’t do due to a partial shoulder replacement. I need a secure job first where I can support myself and I guess I will figure the rest out later. From home might actually be preferable because at this point I think I’d like to get a good dog and forget about humans for awhile. I’ve been looking all day on the internet at jobs and most of them sound so technical I don’t have a clue what they mean. I learn computer programs quickly with hands on training but hate webinars. I have to learn live and hands on. Thanks for any suggestions or thoughts. This is all new to me, although I guess it really shouldn’t be.

RS I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, although you do sound like a strong woman. I want to recommend an online support site that I am currently using to help get through a difficult relationship breakup. ‘MDjunction’ support site has many different groups for many varied life problems. There are no fees, no professional counselors, but they do have moderators. It has been very helpful for me. Best wishes to you in the future, keep your head up, you will find a way to a better place in life.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FIND THE REPLIES THAT I CLICK ON IN THE EMAILS SENT TO ME THAT SAY I HAVE A RESPONSE AS I NEVER CAN FIND THEM WHEN I CLICK ON THE LINK SENT TO ME AND I HAVE WRITTEN THE OWNERS OF THIS SITE TWICE AND THEY NEVER RESPOND? THANK YOU.
SUCH IS THE ONE SENT TO ME TODAY:
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The user Joe Siczpak left a comment in a thread you participated in on Senior Planet.

> We raised two successful boys. > Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. > Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they…

Click here to see the comment.
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I CLICK TO SEE THE COMMENT AND IT IS NEVER THERE? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

Hi Cindy, unfortunately our system doesn’t support links directly to the reply—or even to the comment it’s in reply to. However if you scroll down to the comments under the article, you’ll see that each reply is embedded directly under the comment it’s replying to, and the comments themselves are in reverse chronological order. We know it’s a lousy system. We’re considering updating to a new system that would show you the whole reply and let you respond by email. We’d love to know if you think that would make it better.

Cindy Haines, I’ve had the same problem as you! I have to scroll about 25% down to see the comments posted after mine. It takes a long time. When I scroll halfway I get to posts mostly from 2016, with a few from 2017 scattered in. I think the best thing is for people who want replies to include some contact info with their posts and I see some have done this. Not sure of the best or safest. As a last resort maybe set up a new email address just for this or similar email and hope no scammer or crackpot gets ahold of it. If no problems seem to crop up after testing out the new email addy, come back to this site and post something to one of the posts you see first, meaning one that appears recent and near the top of the page and give your facebook page and an alternate, such as a twitter page or blog page with a comment section.

Hi Sherry,,, I totally agree with you. Look, I am now 72 years old, lived in NYCity most of my life…moved to Florida for about 20 years or so,,,and life brought me back to the City,,,which is now nothing more than a 3rd world dump,,,not the City I once knew and loved. Anyway, bad mistake…many mistakes in my life…unfortunately. I am now stuck with a myriad of issues,,health mostly (since I returned) scared to death,,,no family (all deceased) 2 friends who have their own problems and are of no use. Boy many years ago, this was a different society we had…today ihere is absolutely no resemblance to what used to be. Anyway, what I would give to have a wonderful support system of friends,,,,REAL FRIENDS, where we are THERE for one another. I fear dying like a “withered” leaf/flower, all alone in this apartment and, sometimes even considering how to end it all.
I am someone who just loved Rock,,from the 80’s,,esp.,,70’s and of course growing up as a kid in the 50’s and 60’s. I truly wish you all well,,,esp those on in years who find themselves ALONE…this sis a terrible society today,,,in another generation you mostly always had family and some support system in life. God, I just pray every day,,,please, let me go home,,,I cannot take the STRESSES I am having to endure on a daily basis anymore. Don’t believe in organized religion anymore,,,,tired to death of praying and hoping someone or something is listening. Let’s face it,,,we all have our DESTINY, which I believe in and for a reason as well. We will try our best, but I can only absorb just so much pain (mentally and physically)….that is why some people take their own lives. Wishing you all the Blessings of the Universe….and I am also a huge animal lover,,,Staunch animal rights advocate and a “Cat” lover. Have had them all my life but no more. The most innocent little should on the planet,,,,the animal kingdom. Hope my post finds you well, in all respects. Artemis

Artemis, try to hang in there. I am curious about your health problems and if they are treatable. Bad things seem to pile up as people get older. I have a chance to move South, which I’m betting will remove some of the bad that’s accumulated for many years. I hate lving in PA. I am wondering how the Phila. area plays into my problem of not having family or friends, as I find it to be an unfriendly place. Not driving didn’t help me, especially once I moved out of the city. Came back to the city when I was 19 but only for 2 years total — not long enough. Looking back I should have seen all my cousins virtually ignoring me, as they had ALWAYS done very close to that. The only times I saw them was when our parents got together, but I didn’t realize that at the time.

This thread is so active and now it sends me right to the post! Hope it’s happened that way for you too. Before I just ended up at the very top, with no idea how far down the comment was.

Anytime you want to talk, I am here and I’m sure there are many others here to talk with. If you’re having trouble finding locals…yeah, that’s a big problem with me too, as I was saying. I feel very isolated but I still have my husband and mother. I am probably in the best health of the 3 of us here.

Yes it is a very different world from what we grew up in. I can’t pin down the year or even the decade, but look at the school shootings. I think to myself it may be the increased population but can’t be that because if the population has tripled, for example, we should have 3 times the shootings, but until the 1990’s I didn’t know of any school shootings. Wish I knew how all these bad changes came about. It still seems most people are devoted to their nuclear families but since I’m no longer in one and have very little contact with anyone in one currently, I don’t know what’s going on, don’t know the general details. I guess it’s the most consistent thing I can think of. It’s the extended family that seems now to be fragmented, with people left out. That’s exactly what everyone’s saying on this thread.

Artemis, and I’m an animal lover too. Had dogs and cats most of my life. Have not had any since my mom and I moved into separate cities back in1990 but we’ve been back into the same home since 1991. We have no pets because we’ve had to keep the house and yard as pristine as possible to re-sell it but we’re still here since 1997. Suspected a cat allergy after my boyfriend and I got a few of them and I tested positive for cat allergy about 20 years ago. I guess with your health problems a pet would be too much. If I were alone I’d probably get 1 or 2 small dogs, regardless of the condition of the house.

I’m a 49 year old male with no kids, and very few social outlets (family/friends. I lost my job about 6 months ago, and the likelihood of replacing my income seems poor. Things I do have now are my health (knock on wood), and a decent amount of savings.

Oh, and I am married. The thing is though, my marriage is a passionateless facade where I feel I’m just settling. But I am terrified of growing old alone. I feel trapped! What to do???

I am 53 years old. Been widowed for 5 1/2 years. Got 2 grown children. My husband died unexpectedly at 47 year’s old of heart attack. I never expected him to die, he was suppose to out live me. We had a good marriage. In 2013 I met a guy online and we ended up married for a month before we realized we made a mistake and got divorced. Then in 2014 I met another man who I seemed to connect with. We got a place together with my kids (my son has high autism) and my daughter was finishing school. This man treated my kids like slaves, they each paid 650 a month to live in the house. (Daughter finished school and got job) my kids could do no right, and eventually neither could I, I finally got the guts to leave him which I did, now it’s just me and my son living in a rental house that we both hate. I’m suppose to start a job in a grocery store this Tuesday. What I am finding is that I love being married, it’s all I know,I was married to the love of my life at 19. We were married for almost 28 years. There has to be a reason these other 2 marriages failed. I’m scared of ending up old and alone.

Stop being afraid. Life has to get better. how are you going to find out about life if you don’t try. You cant fail. You’re you go out and find life. I”m in my 70 and I have more get up and go then you. RUN TO LIFE IT’S VERY SHORT. CAPITAL RUN.

Right on Bertha! I’m 70 also, I love being retired..I am FREE..FREE at last! I can’t wait until winter comes and I leave for the southwest desert to soak up the sun till spring. I don’t have enought money for a fancy RV, so I have a conversion van that i made into a little motel room and I love it. You meet nice people while traveling, and if you are alone you can go anywhere and do anything you want. Don’t be afraid to do something you haven’t tried before, life is short…enjoy!

Hello people . I read all your message . Is not good be alone .we need eachother . The conversation, is good .we need talk , talk abbout all . I am from Romania , very far , but i would like to chat with all . If you feel alone and need to talk , abbout all writte me . elenaqwert@yahoo.com i like make new friends , not mather the age . Have a great day and never feel alone

Dating sites? Plenty of Fish? More like Plenty of Dogfish, Cowfish, Suckerfish, Whales. Browsing POF is like fishing in a sewer.
Don’t bother with dating sites, because most people are merely window shopping, and not looking to buy. Also, the older people get, the more they are unwilling to compromise or let anyone else into their world. Get used to it.

Hello all, I’m here looking for some advice. My father in law is 74. He is now widowed (almost 2 years ago). My husband is an only child. We have 2 children (14 and 10). My father in law lives in the house that he has lived in for the last 40 years, by himself. We have talked to him about possibly getting a house together so that he is not alone. (he’s commented about his house being too quiet). Is this something that an aging, but not really old, parent would want? He’s diabetic and having some memory issues but definitely fully capable of living his own life and being independent (except that he doesn’t cook at all so he eats out every night). The house we found has an in law suite so if he doesn’t want to hang around us, he can go on his own. We can’t really tell if this is what he wants or not, his comments vary on the subject. My husband thinks he may have offended his dad by talking to him about it. Any words of wisdom? Is this something that a parent would want or do we just let it go? Thank you for any input!

Hi,
I just found your comment…sorry a few months later. It is important to feel independence for as long as possible, it keeps us young and viable! Living in the same home for that long, well…it is home! Everything is set, and my mom lived in her home until 90! She was going blind but knew how to get around her own home, she felt secure and I really think that letting her stay as long as she could kept her mind working. Unfortunately, we had to sell her home and move kind of forced from my brothers and sisters (I am the youngest of 5 and no one listens to me). She could have even stayed longer, she always had visitors, daily and it was a way to keep an eye on her and remind her to take her medicine. (people helped make sure that she took the right ones!)

Once she moved out, she fell apart, was highly disoriented and very depressed. She just went downhill from there. She is a strong woman, we moved her again, due to the place was not very good and things kept going missing…even her rosery’s. sigh. She will be 100 this August but it has been a hard 10 years for her. If he is fine, then let him be! Visit and maybe someone, a student can rent a room?

If you were going to buy a house anyway w/ a in-laws quarters. Just try you and your husband sitting down with him at lunch and explain it only because you both want to visit more and are able so him moving in with you or you both moving in with him? I’m sure you would know how to word it. Pray about it God will give you the right words.. Sue

I think growing old alone is a tough road I’m 54 year old male never married no children.Didn’t plan it this way but that’s how I ended up.Funny how some are lucky and others like me bombed out.
I like to chat so I find sitting at home by myself every day after work very quiet.
So I usually just watch tv and go to sleep pretty much same routine every evening.
I really think you have to be perfect,just average job average company car and home isn’t really enough these days.
I haven’t got the drive to try and find a partner anymore I’ve tried and failed and if it hasn’t happened by my age seriously it ain’t gonna happen,foolish to think otherwise.
I know I’ll never be truely happy on my own life will be work sleep repeat,some things in life for people like me are meant to be that way.
It’s unfair but hey I didn’t make the rules I gave it my best shot.
Marty

Well let me be real honest here since the women of today are certainly nothing at all like the women in the past were which in those days it was so much more easier finding real love since it really came very easy for the men in those days as well as our family members that were very extremely lucky to be born at that time. Most women now are so damn selfish and so very greedy since now they really want a man that makes a lot of money since it is all about them now unfortunately. Most of the women were very old fashioned since they were raised by very good parents back then that taught them the right way which today their parents are raising their children very wrong since they’re so very pathetic altogether now more than ever which has a lot to do with it. Many of us good single men looking for love is very difficult today since so many women are very nasty with us men when we will try to start a conversation with the one that will attract us since they will Curse at us for no reason at all since i know a friend that had the very same thing happened to him as well since many women nowadays unfortunately are psychopaths and sociopaths as well which really does add to the problem. With so many women having a career today which many of them now are making a six figure income which most of them really think they’re all that which their not at all anyway. They’re the worst of all since they have a very bad attitude problem and feel that us men owe them something which really makes them very sad altogether. With these kind of women out there nowadays which makes it very obvious why many of us men will never find real love at all and will remain single as well thanks to them since it does take two to tango.

I think I know why you’re having difficulty. You seem very negative and judgmental. To say “all women” are the way you describe is not only inaccurate but very off putting. Many people (both genders) have had bad relationships. The gross generalization that “all women “or “all men” are bad won’t get anyone anywhere.

Wow talk about negative Nancy! Do you can I think if you’ve been in many relationships and the women are all the way you say they are there’s one common factor in them. You! Look at yourself and see what you were not adding to the relationship to make her feel that way. I wish you luck in finding happiness but I think it’s gonna be a tough road for you

Hello Marty,
My name is Brenda I just turned 47 years old,
I have been single for a long time now. I have 3 grown kids. 2 daughter’s and 1 son,. Ages 30, 29, 25.
I have 5 grandkids 4 boys and a girl. Unfortunately I only see 2 of the older boys. They’re my everything. 14 years old and 11 years good boys. The 14 year old has Autism,
But he has all A’s in school and he is very organized. Well like me. The other one well we have to watch and keep on him. He wants everything to be simple and doesn’t like to clean lol. Older one is Edwin and the youngest is Juelz. I pretty much feel lonely alot. I work and come home and do the same routine everyday. I would like to have someone to go out to dinner, walks on the beach, although I’m very shy and don’t wear bathing suit. Every now and then have a drink. Don’t really have friends. Just one friend his name his Marco and he has CP. Half Paralyze. Why he’s my best friend he has what my older sister Maria has CP. I live in RI.
Would love to chat or exchange numbers and pictures so I know who I’m speaking to. A face is always great to see.
TTY soon.

Paul makes broad generalizations, yet there is a great deal of truth in his statements.
American women are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

To be fair, American men are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

The real issue is whether two people can be willing to take a risk of emotional involvement, which means risk of rejection, risk of not being loved, risk of not being understood, risk of loss. It works both ways.

Happily, all of us losers- women and men- can soothe our broken hearts by further immersing ourselves in our annoying “stupid” phones and wasting time on faKebook.

Well i know that i made my comment a while ago which most of what i have said is the very truth how the women of today have really changed from the good old days since it definitely was so much easier for the single men in those days looking for real love which unfortunately today is a totally different time we live in now. Most women today are nothing at all like they were back then since so many women now have their careers making a very excellent salary which really has changed them for the worst of all unfortunately. And most of these women will never go with a man that makes much less money than they make since they will usually go for the Rich type of a man anyway since it is all about money for them. Many of times many of these women will use men that have a lot of money since they really want to be very spoiled and will take advantage of these men that have money which is a real shame. And the women of today that are like this are nothing but Users And Losers to begin with since a lot of these young women will go after the much older men that they know that have the money. And many of times us younger men which i am not at all that young since i am in my early sixties myself have trouble meeting women that would be able to Accept us for who we really are since i know friends going through the very same thing right now unfortunately as well. Most women that have their careers today are very money hungry women since they will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either since it is very obvious how the women of today have really Changed from the old days. And most of these women that us men will talk too have no respect for us good men at all since i am looking for a good woman more my age anyway which is still very difficult today even at my age too. Now i can certainly see why our family members were very Blessed finding real love with one another back then since it was a very different time as you can see compared to today. I wish that i Could’ve have been born at a much earlier time back then since real love really did happen which even i Would’ve met the Right Good Woman and been all Settled Down myself with my own Good Wife And Family that i still Don’t Have Today. Unfortunately just born at a very extremely bad time for many of us Single men which really makes it very sad for us. But i will Never give up. Peace.

Hi Brenda thanks for your lovely reply sorry I haven’t got back to you I haven’t been on this thread for months.
I live in Australia so we probably are in different countries unfortunately.Nothing much happening this way just got back from my parents place helping with some chores.
They are both elderly but going ok.
Well another weekend is drawing to a close pretty much same same for me golf Saturday,sleep in housework Sunday.
Back to work tomorrow to do it all again lol.The neighbors 2 cats always greet me when I get home, so it’s nice to be wanted.I think though they only really want food though lol.
It’s funny never marrying and no kids I don’t really fit in with society I’m looked at much differently and treated more unfairly at work also.
I do try and stay positive and happy but it can be difficult and frustrating at times wondering what is wrong with me?
It’s definitely a couples world, us bachelors are like a freak of nature.Its no one’s fault it’s just how life turns out for us. Just never found that special person.
Then I think you don’t actually believe it’s going to happen so you do stop putting in the effort and work and say, you know what it’s all too hard at 55 years old,if it was gonna happen it would have.
I hope you are keeping well Brenda and are enjoying yourself.
Regards Marty.

Wow. What strong opinions! I must disagree with you. Not ALL women are this way and at 54, he can find another woman near his age that is wonderful. There are many single older women out there. Or, do older men really want the younger? If it is a generational thing, then I think that finding someone in your generation will be more compatible.
You must have had some real difficult experiences to be so negative. Or, is it your negativity that throws the women off. Who wants to be around someone with such an attitude? Not me!

I am a 56 year old attractive lady who looks younger than my years but can’t find even a friend, let alone anything more. Ild be happy just having a great friend at this point but where I live, everybody is coupled up no room for someone like me. I sometimes cry myself to sleep out of loneliness I sometimes don’t leave my home for days. My grown children have abadoned me for reasons none be known to me so I’m left all alone in a strange place with nobody to even talk to. I tried everything nothing works.

Carrie, I’m living the same life, 56 attractive can’t get a date with a guy who’s my age, they’re dating younger women. Older guys too stuck in some cranky place…no friends were I live cause I relocated to be near my grandkids who are too busy for me…my kids are also to busy to even call or text. ..finding a female friend is impossible in this area, I’ve tried for 20 years now….I want to move but have no clue where I’d go….I’m in Illinois not born here but been hete 25 years….I’m not even sure how I manage to get through the lonely weekends but I do….all the best to you, Cheri

Hi Tom. Your comment sounds like me! I think quite often about how society has changed so much in recent years (and not for the better!) I’m 58 years young….fond memories of growing up in the 70s. Where do you live?

Where are you from? I understand your pain, my situation is very close to yours. I took a PT job to help with the loneliness. It helps. I’m 61, retired, and try to keep busy. I live currently in NE Ohio.

Women in the past were easier to have relationships with, but I know women should make a living whenever possible. In any marriage or relationship I have gender roles have no place except for those nature still forces on us such as pregnancy and the physical strength of men.

Hey how’d it going? I’m 55yrs. old and I do about the same. I go to work come home and spend the nite with my cats. I’m not a cat person but I’ll save that conversation for another time. I watch TV until I go to sleep. Rather boring. I wouldn’t mind chatting with you if you wouldn’t mind chatting with me. So later for now.

Hi funny I woke up this morning and heard pray for your husband….What husband Lord I have been single for a decade….Don’t give up,God knows your heart,He created you,He knows we need love. So my dear, ask God to direct you she probably waiting for you too

Hi Marty…I don’t know if you got my response, but I have been a widow for a long time now and did not have a marriage made in Heaven. I want a new life but don’t know how to get it, so I plan on moving to The Villages, Florida, where I can be alone and there are so many activities down there, it’s your own fault if you have nothing to do. When I left in 2014 there were over 900 clubs and there are more now. I don’t know if I’ll have lots of friends but I know I’ll have a golf cart and lots of things to do. That’s all I need, I guess. I hope you consider. I might see you there…Michelle

Google thevillages.com. Make sure it is not Terra Vista, which you will see if you google the villages. The Villages is annotated as the friendliest community. I know there are more in the US but that is the only one I know of and you can get a great looking home for $200,000.00! Turn key, too, where all you have to do is bring your suitcase and everything you need in the house is there, including a gold cart!

I’m a 62 year old divorced woman. Fifteen years of being a single parent flew by and I supported myself with no respite from my children, so it was pretty exhausting but I did a good job and pat myself on the back.
I understand why many men of our era are negative about women but it’s not always the case. Times and attitudes have indeed changed leaving ladies as ruthless as their male peers which can be hard to comprehend. However, we can’t change or reverse current trends where some ladies have descended testicles and some are just unrealistic about partnerships. We can change ourselves though.
I don’t need a man but I want one. Companionship and sharing is bliss. However, I doubt I will as I have my own set of standards which are based on my idea of what a relationship should be and added to that, I’m used to living alone.
I’m certainly not bitter, I’m very attractive which isn’t self love, I know I am. Fifty percent of my attractiveness comes from within. I smile in the face of adversity. I’m great with people, quite smart, fashion conscious and slim so my question is, where are all the compatible men. Certainly not on social media where they judge purely by years and assume pictures aren’t recent.
I need a plan for my sabbatical from the workplace so would love help to formulate one. Sounds so much nicer that a retirement bucket list and if there are any men in their 60s out there who look, act and love like a much younger version, well there are myriad women to be sought who are waiting.

Well christine im 33 and im more interested in equality and being treated fairly than i am in being slim, fashionable and not loving myself. I love myself very much, as I should. I refuse to accept double standards and piss poor treatment. Apparently, you dont mind being treated as inferior and allowing men to be ruthless while youre the submissive role. Its a cool story, really, but dream on. Unless you get plastic surgery youre nothing but an old hag to men. They want the youngest, prettiest possible plaything. Maybe you can fund your surgeries via online crowd funding.

Just out of curiosity, at 33 why are you on this site? What are you looking for? Your reply was needlessly cruel.
In my life I’ve found this to be true….karma is real, and paybacks are a bitch. Watch out!

Hi Michelle
We live in weeki wachee , Florida also. We just moved here from California . We have no friends or family. We are both 70 year old.
We went on few cruises but the loneliness is killing us slowly.

Hi Nanette,
You might want to volunteer for a dog rescue group. I foster dogs for a great group. It saves dogs lives and you get to hang out with a bunch of great people! The other positive is you can test out if Amy of the dogs might be a good “keeper” for you. Good Luck!
Patsi

Sue and others, I know you and your husband are lonely. Even if 70+, even if 90+, HANG ON, because there is hope through technology. Improvements may not be coming out exponentially but it seems they’re coming out faster as time goes on. If we can hang on another 10-20 years, even if in bad health, there are many things coming along to help us all — anti-aging treatments, driverless cars (they will have to be tested a few years to be considered safe), better preventative treatments…. we need anti aging most of all. It won’t bring back the family members who disowned us, it won’t bring back the dead (although I feel we will all end up together either in afterlife or a “new” physical universe, much better than with the suffering we have now). There really is a lot being tested now in laboratories, etc. and usually what is being tested normally soon becomes a reality to some extent.

Hi, how did it go ion the villages? Ive lived in Florida for decades and not sure I would weant to live in the villages but for some its great, for others, forced fishbowl living among elderly couples and winter folk.

He’ll everyone I am a 61 female been married for 42yrs. My husband works 12 hour days (always have) 6 days a week. We raised two successful boys. We 4 grandchildren and 1 on the way. I know your saying so what’s my problem. I have been so lonely for the last 15yrs!! My husband goes to work comes home eats sirs down to watch tv and goes to sleep. NO CONVERSATIONS!! Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy. I have NO friends and we only have 1 car. The silence is overwhelming!!

Hi Sharon
I have the same problem in my marriage. I feel like I live with a roommate that doesn’t like me very much. We are both retired. I am lonely and bored, I have no friends I was to busy to make them with work and family. But with being unable to work and family moved away, it seem to late to make friends. I feel trapped. I go to place like coffee shops to be around people it helps, and I take a good book.

Dear Marty i understand what you’re going though not at my 50s im 66 next month 67 i have cancer of the liver i feel ive never been loved not now or latter i do have a daught but she has her life to continue with young you always think ypull never grow old i dont understand why my life went that way as well but to let you know you’re not the only one going though this i must walk my road alone enjoy life so much at your age you can enjoy join a lodge church so much you can do remember there’s someone else like you an more so be good look for out lets in life andie Marie

> We raised two successful boys.
> Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side.
> Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy.

Hi Marty: I came on this site to look for some tips to fight loneliness but ended up reading about other people who seem to be looking for the same thing but not really getting any answers or any good ideas. I’m 60, single, no kids and it’s just a little difficult sometimes trying to fill my time. I hate to think that I’m wasting time when there’s such a big, beautiful world out there but I think a lot of people like me just feel stuck in one place. I work from home, transcribing for medical specialists, so that also cuts out any socialization through the day. I do lead an active life, have a big yard and a woodstove so there’s always dealing with getting wood done for the following winter but it’s a lonely existence. Anyway, I guess I’m just venting tonight and you’re the lucky stranger I’m venting to. You’ll probably never get this anyway…who knows with social media where all of this stuff ends up. I wish you luck and at 54 you have lots of time to continue giving it your best shot. Don’t throw your cards in quite yet. One thing that I’ve found to be a good idea in the past is joining a group who are interested in the same thing as you….or trying something new. I took a course to get my open water diving ticket and met lots of fun people but when it was over we all just sort of went our separate ways. Maybe something that is ongoing…..I’m considering maybe starting quilting or some kind of gardening club. Volunteer work is always good too….at your local food bank, etc. Okay….I’ve rambled on enough for tonight….besides Top Chef is just about to come on. Best of luck to you…..I’m cheering for you!!!

Jane, I don’t know if this is a possibility for you but I’m trying to start a community home, probably located in South Carolina for people who are hopeful about having an unlimited lifespan through future anti-aging technology. Anyone else who also may be interested, please reply.

Claire
I am 76, retired, living alone, pretty healthy and active and thinking about your community home idea. It’s probably easier to do than it appears, but I’ve always thought it would be fun and beneficial for some single older women (and/or men) to do a “Golden Girls” (or boys) setup and share a home, expenses, chores, pets, and conversation. With some agreed upon “ground rules” covering everything necessary to run a clean, cheerful environment, the sheer comradery with the option of retiring to one’s own space (room) if some solitude is needed now and then would be a formidable foe to loneliness.

If anyone in Orange County, Ca. thinks they might like to explore such an idea, let me know. It just might be quite doable. =^..^= foxrest7771@yahoo.com

Claire and others, I have been wanting to do the community home thing for over 5 years. I need at least 2 people to do part time work around the house, some shopping and to help me get to appointments. The live in helpers can be of any age and will get a bedroom, at least most utilities and use of the common areas of the property. If I can afford a larger home, I can also have renters or co-owners, more like the Golden Girls home you described. Anyone interested in talking about a community home or who would be interested in living in mine in the future in central or south Florida can also reply. I don’t know about pets. The main reason I’ve had to turn down people for my current home is that everyone has a cat, dog or whatever and I’m severely allergic to cats. Also I am very particular about where I live and the animal hair, accidents, etc would probably be a problem. I would have a very small dog or 2 only if I were alone and I would not get rid of them simply because someo