A friend recently recounted how a male co-worker suggested she try going out for a run after work. The Manhattan Bridge late at night, he said, was practically empty. It's a great view. And besides, it's cooler after the sun goes down — the perfect time to get in a run before bed. She should give it a try.

No way, she replied. It's not even an option. I can't go running by myself at night. Especially over the bridge. I could get attacked. I could be raped. So many things could happen. So many things that men never even have to consider.

Because as much as feminism has helped women gain parity with men in the workplace and at home, there are still a lot of subtle but very real ways that women are required to police and monitor themselves. The public sphere is still a very fraught and frightening place for women to navigate — especially alone, and especially at night.

It's worth thinking about how much you alter your life — whether it's by taking a different route home, going home early, changing the way you dress or walk or wear your hair — in order to feel safe. These are things that men often don't have to think about, that men take for granted, that men simply don't have to consider as they go about their lives. And they're things that take up a shocking amount of time, strength, and emotional bandwidth to negotiate.