Two Wheels. One Dark Lord.

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F-you and the horse you rode in on…

I was chanting that yesterday after this driver got hell bent with me for being in the road on my bike. This lady slurping on her big drink in hand with a big ass bright straw was not liking my manual down the road going just under speed limit which is 25 mph- she decided to take her fat fucking self and her beat ass shit box on four wheels to haul balls around me to come to a stop light about 100 yards in front of us. Yes, I caught up to her to express my deep devine love for her- she didn’t like getting the “you are no. 1” hand gesture until she could drive off to forget the Caveman.

I’ll admit I am a hate machine when it comes to ass fuck drivers. I’ve heard people tell me to leave it alone or you gonna meet the wrong people someday. Well, I won’t leave it alone and have run into the wrong people. The last time I had a manual session down the road and it went bad was in Milwaukie Or.- a passenger opened their door on me as I was enjoying a long manual down main street in Oak Grove. What happened after that? Well my buddy and I chased them down to the next block to a market where they parked, as one of them was stepping foot into the market my friend yelled “what the hell was that about?”- instantly two other people jump out of the car and everything slowed way the fuck down (fight or flight kicked in, holding our ground was our choice). My friend all of a sudden had 9mm shoved to his head and I have a bug eyed fool high as a kite on what ever getting ready to stab me with a knife- I was gonna use my bmx bike to beat him with it but my friend knew the guy with the gun was a total pussy so he took the guys hand with the gun and smashed on the roof of the car then yelled some lovely words at homie with the knife, that distracted his next move on me- next thing I know the Knifasaurus was running full speed at my friend but since my bro is has some nice dance moves, he just got on his bike and lets the chase happen- my friend was looking back yelling “thats right bitch, you fucking run!” We ended up having to do some sprints around the neighborhood for a few mins to get away from them due to them trying run us down in their crapper car. We got away, drank a few beers and the next day happened. What’s the point of this story, fuck just slow the fuck down so you don’t run into me or my friend- there are actually one or 20 of us in each city.

Speaking of “fuck you and the horse you rode in on” this video I found a year ago or so is about my town of Spokane. This will show you that the city life here really likes to sing at bars, drink jager bombs and drive around town drunk.

I don’t like it when the city makes it so you can’t get down, here’s a track to break the downs.

jonny, you probably went to the baby bar which is a pretty cool joint- I was there just last night. Spokane is a wacky town and can be fun. We have a full moon bike ride in town called the FBC (fucking bicycle club) they have pretty big fallowing now and hit up a couple bars on a full moon that usually packs the joint. I’ll post more on that topic eventually.

I’ve lied here in Spokane for 10 years, commuted by bike to the shop I work at for 5. It only takes three words to sum up the drivers here…….Concealed Weapons Permit….. best part about it is I never have to say a word, I just lift the side of my shirt so they get a quick peek. You should see their eye’s when the sun hits that shiny chrome of the .375, most just turn off immediately, some don’t know what to do and will slow to about half my pace, so far back other car’s start honking at them cause they are holding up traffic. Fuck you and your horse, call the cop’s, shits legal, now what.

That video is just about the most uncreative, generic, cookie cutter ‘blues’ song I think I’ve ever seen. Driving around in a dinosaur guzzler is not cool, and driving drunk is much much less cool. Is that chamber of commerce material or something? Jesus, people – you can do better than that.

David you make it too easy, your quote for the day-“Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger ’til it goes “click.”

but I love the story of standing ground…. and then running. But we don’t need gun battles between drivers and cyclist. I like to think of guns as deterrent rather than something to brandish when you’re angry. People watch too much TV and think they can pull out a gun with no intention of using it. Stupid.

@ wanderer. Threatening someone with a +2500 lb moving object is more than cyclist rights, it personal rights, and fuckstick .357’s are also pistols, some so small they fit in the palm of a hand.
@ littlejar. no we don’t need any gun battles of any sort, and cyclist should not feel threatened or be run down by angry drivers, a holstered pistol is not the same as brandishing a weapon in anger. but your right about one thing, when a motorist see’s a pistol tucked in this cyclist belt, it is a deterrent, and a reminder that everyone deserves the same respect.

I think this article is a good example of why people in cars and on bicycles don’t see eye to eye. For every negative connotation there is about big drivers and their Slurpees busy drinking and texting on their phones, there is one about careless bike riders from the too-cool-for-you bike club and their stunts on those roads they want ‘shared’. I’m about as interested in bike rides revolving around going to bars to get drunk as I am in blues singers who apparently do the same.

MarvinK, you are just too smart for this post- your brain needs bigger challenges. See I am a low life, I first came to DC for pictures of tits and shaved pussy’s. When I read what you put down, I feel it’s my daddy talking to me. Do you wanna be my daddy?

Normally i carry an M-60 in my tow behind trailer if I’m riding on the road and don’t want to have any run ins with nasty drivers. If I am riding my BMX bike at a specific spot I’ll usually put a trunk mount rack on the back of my Sherman Tank and drive that over. It sends the message that I’m down to shred but not to mess around.

Fucking M-60 is too damn heavy. You’d only be bringing that for your Rambo moment of frustration with all the world. Jesus, can we quit talking about guns? Do the wrong thing with one, and they’re all taken away from you. Think you’re free? Think again. Entanglement. That is the word.

Wanderer – you’re ridiculous. The shit you are writing is ridiculous. The video of some assfuck millionaire’s jerk-off fantasy of what a presidential limo should be is just beyond ridiculous. DCs gun laws are so tight that even secret service couldn’t roll with that kind of shit.
Yes, there are people that think that spraying bullets is cool. I’m not one of them. I own two guns and I’m really considering smashing one of them. Guns and peace don’t co-exist, and largely, they don’t fit into libation, breastesis, or farrahd-gern.

I lived and rode in Tucson, I was armed at times in Tucson. I know the shit down there. I saw some shit go down in my ‘hood. I lived on the South side. I discovered the peace of sleeping with a shotgun in the flimsy, easy to break into houses there. Tucson is MY city. I appreciate your sentiment about not smashing my .22A – I would never smash the 12 ga. – that is my ‘piece of mind’
OK, you got me talking about guns. Hey, they work off the grid! No ridding ourselves of them: there they are. Have one, or don’t. But being stupid…
I don’t know what idiot in Washington thinks a squad weapon on steroids is necessary to protect the president, but I do know that the real shit isn’t published on youtube. They call it the Secret Service, not the hard-on look at this shit service, for a reason.