Kall Me Khannah (The K Isn’t Silent)

It’s funny how first impressions can be erroneous. Or, if not erroneous, at the very least amendable.

Take today, for instance. Now, keep in mind that I’m six hours into my second flight of the day, that I’ve already been awake 13 hours and need to stay up at least another 8 in an attempt to get on New York time, and that I’m listening to Swiss Airlines’ Music From the Films of Tim Burton. Which means that if this starts to sound a bit loony-bin… you have an explanation.

Where was I? Oh yes, first impressions. But before we get to that, want to see what I got for eats on the plane? Course you do! (Some of you do, anyway.)

There was also a piece of apricot cake but, um... I ate it first.

Lorraine, you’ll be proud to know I only went to the airport one and a half hours early*. Waiting by Gate 5, I overheard an American woman talking to her two daughters…

American Woman (making sweeping movements near her own ears with curved hands): We’ll need to get your hair cut like this, because it looks like shrimp head if we don’t.

Um… okay. I, of course, immediately pulled on and zipped up my crankypants at the idea of any mother telling her daughter she has shrimp head (whatever that means). I mean, at least my mother never said anything more to me than that my cheekbones reminded her of an anemone**.

After settling into my window seat on the plane, I turned to discover that this woman and her husband were my seatmates. I considered making shrimp noises, but instead commented on the fact that we were all on the same ensuing flight from Zurich to New York. And you know what happened after that? I discovered that these people were lovely.

This was pretty awful, if I'm entirely honest.

We had much to talk about, from the father’s travels in Australia (plus he works for NBC at the actual 30 Rock, on shows such as Top Chef and Project Runway. He says they’re considering a Top Chef Australia – I’d watch it, but I wonder how it would fare against Masterchef?), his gluten intolerance, my travels, the kids’ reading of Twilight and our mutual confusion as to the hysteria surrounding the books, all of our travels in Florence and Paris, the fact that my two days in New York will be spent doing nothing but going from grocery store to upmarket grocery store…

Ultimately, I had to let the shrimp head comment slide, because this family let me tag along with them through Zurich airport’s international transfer system, through waiting an hour to be let into the gate area, through my anxiety over being standby for this flight (I still don’t know why I was put on standby for one of four flights all booked at once), and the father even gave me some Australian music recommendations. Anyone heard of the Pigram Brothers?

The upshot of the day was that I now consider myself an honourary member of this New Yorker family, and as you’ll no doubt understand when you read the following, such membership involves an amendment to my name.

See, the four folks’ names were Kevin, Keeley, Keaton, and Khloe.

Therefore, from now on, my name is Khannah. K?

Peace out!

Turkey and cream cheese on a roll. There was also Movenpick caramel ice cream, but it came halfway through my watching of Fantastic Mr. Fox, and sometimes a girl's just gotta eat her ice cream straight away. After Berthillon and Florence gelato, though...

* The hotel reception man may or may not have said I only needed to be there an hour in advance. But there’s only so far a leopard can change its spots, right?

** I jest. She said kelp#.

# I jest again. And I can’t even blame Tim Burton, as I’ve change to the Beatle’s 1 album. Lady Madonna love.

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9 Responses

bon voyage – hope there is a special bar of chocolate waiting for you at the end of the journey after all the crap airplane and airport food.

I was waiting to hear that you had shrimp in the plane meal but it is probably fortunate that you didn’t – in our family we had various insults like helmet head, jason the basin and coconut heat tossed around.

And as for the pigram brothers – I saw them at port fairy folk festival years ago – they were great – Aboriginal band from up north – and saw them on tv just recently on a current affairs story about a priest who worked in Broome Aboriginal community

Johanna: There will be if we count opening my suitcase as “the end of the journey”. I do hope it arrives home in one piece! Now, I get helmet head, but coconut heat? That’s beyond the scope of my imagination!

Thank you for the info about the Pigram Brothers. Now that I’ve had two people recommend them, I’ll definitely look them up once I’m home (and in a fit state to do so). I have a feeling they’ll be right up my mother’s alley, too.

Fiona: Swiss European (I think that was the name), codesharing with US Airways (I think…). I’m kinda fascinated by airplane food too – though get quite upset when people post about business class meals! Is it not enough that people in business class can actually, you know, move more than 7.2 milimetres in any direction?!

Amber: I know, right? I did ask him if he needed an intern who’d happily work for free, but I think he thought I was joking… And I love hearing from you whenever you pop up – plus, my internet access may be dodgy for the next month, so I might not be as quick to read yours either :S