Shizuo and Izaya begin a strange relationship when Shizuo drags the flea back to his house to get laid. Deals are made that coincidentally progress their relationship further. Ikebukuro's finest trying to work out their feelings isn't always clean business. T for themes, language, and suggestions. Izaya's OOC a lot. Shizaya.

Izaya didn't know why he was doing this, it seemed stupid and could end badly in so many ways. He needed another baby, one who didn't die after a few months, to get over Onigiri. And it was really Shinra's fault for planting the idea in his head...months ago when he couldn't have possibly known that his red-eyed friend was going to have a mental breakdown over a fish.

*Cue Flashback*

Shinra had called him up in the middle of the night, a night when Shizuo wasn't staying over, and had babbled incoherently for a few moments before Izaya hushed him.

"What's this about, Shinra? It's late," he said.

"Izaya! I just made a breakthrough! This is going to revolutionize life as we know it!"

"Shinra, get to the point! I'm tired!" Izaya whined.

His scientist friend giggled with glee, "I created a serum that will allow men to get pregnant."

"You what?"

"I was running some tests a few weeks ago with some male body cell samples, trying to see if I could replicate Shizuo's strength with them...which I couldn't...and an accident happened. So the samples started cell division, but the new cells were a female's egg cell. So I tampered with the solution a bit and I can now create male pregnancy!"

"Well, some of the same symptoms as a normal pregnancy I suppose. I haven't tested it yet on humans. I'm almost positive that a C-section will have to be performed because men won't grow a uterus or a birthing canal with the serum."

"Cool," Izaya yawned. "Tell me more tomorrow, okay?" Then he hung up.

*End Flashback*

The conversation was never brought up again, but that didn't mean that Izaya had forgotten. In fact he was very glad that Shinra had made that discovery, because he was going to use the serum on himself. After all, he knew that Shinra would keep it around, and that he'd label it.

So Izaya had taken the liberty of breaking into Shinra and Celty's apartment when they were both out on business. Business that Izaya had arranged, but business nonetheless. The short man was rifling through Shinra's drawers, filing cabinets, desk, fridge, couch, and more. After about an hour of searching, he eventually found it within one of the hanging lights in a kitchen. It was a small vial of fluid, meant to be injected.

On the label it said: "M-preg: only kept for scientific purposes. Do not let Izaya touch!"

Wow, Izaya thought, Shinra sure knows me. Izaya grabbed a needle from one of the cabinets and injected the serum into his arm. Once the deed was done, he straightened things up and left, because Shizuo was going to be home soon, and he was going to surprise him with sex.

The next morning, Izaya bolted from bed earlier than usual. After Onigiri died, he prefered to stay in bed with Shizuo until his tall lover had to go to work. Shizuo sat up and watched the small man dart to the bathroom, then a few moments later came the retching and vomiting sounds. Shizuo grabbed a phone to call Shinra and went to the bathroom to watch over the sick man. As the phone rang, the blonde rubbed Izaya's back in circles to soothe him, but the broker just clung to the toilet bowl, panting and spitting vomit.

"Hello?" Shinra answered when it picked up.

"Hey, Shinra, Izaya's throwing up. What's wrong?"

There was a bit of fumbling with the phone on the other end, then a scoot of a chair across tile. A moment later, Shinra sighed into the phone, "He might be, uh, pregnant."

"What?!" Shizuo exclaimed, a completely blindsided look on his face. Izaya winced and glanced up at him guiltily. He was feeling a little less confident about his whole escapade now.

"Well, you see, I had accidentally created something that could make a male pregnant a while ago. After Izaya's fish died, I hid it in my apartment because I was afraid something like this might happen and he wouldn't discuss it with you and it would hurt your relationship. I guess he found it, because the vial's empty, and he's throwing up at six in the morning," Shinra explained quickly in a 'please don't kill me' voice.

"Bye."

"Wait! Please don't be mad at-" Shinra began before Shizuo hung up.

His stomach empty, Izaya was now sitting up, eyeing his monster warily. Nervous as he was, he still felt a little dizzy from upchucking all of his food into the toilet so early in the morning, so one hand rested on the edge of the bowl. Shizuo was scowling at him, but it was one that said that he didn't know what to think.

"Are you mad at me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, feeling a little raw and scared. He hadn't felt this afraid since Shizuo's near-death experience, and was once again thinking he had made a huge mistake.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Shizu-chan, I really am." Little tears pinpricked his eyes as he rushed to get his point across. "Idon'tknowwhatIwasthinkingpleasedon'tleavemeShizu -chanIloveyousomuchI'lldoanythingpleasejustdon't-"

Shizuo held his hand up to silence him, "I'm mad because you didn't tell me that you were going to do this, not that you're pregnant. "

"S-so you're okay with us having a baby?" Izaya squeaked.

"Yes, a little nervous, but yes."

"And you'll stay and help me take care of it?"

"Deal. I have to take care of you too." A wide grin spread across Izaya's face as Shizuo said that. It was different from his maniacal, 'I'm a total fucking lunatic' smile, or his 'I know something that you don't know and it's going to kill you' smile. It was purely happy.

((I think it'll be a while until the next chapter's up. I've got some oneshots I wanna work on, and I wanna redo a fic that I just can't get right))

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