Major update and follow up to Tuesday’s IEP meeting

I’m going to make this quick because I’m really tired but I promised I’d post this, so here it goes..

I already shared my take away from Tuesday’s IEP meeting so if you missed that, look here.

Basically, we are not going to abolish Elliott’s homework as I was so determined to initially and here’s why.

Upon everyone sitting down and looking at the whole picture, current grades and the quality of work he’s churning out at school, there’s no question as to whether or not he’s physically capable of doing the work.

There’s a plethora of reasons that he’s been struggling with homework at home, most of them emotional in nature.

That being said, there is an element of manipulation as well and because of that, the focus is not removing the homework but instead helping him develop the tools needed to overcome those emotional roadblocks.

The plan is to call him current on all homework that’s outstanding and wipe the slate clean.

We will have Elliott work on his homework for 9 minutes per night. Whatever he doesn’t finish by the end of the week, will not be held against him.

The goal is to build Elliott up and get him to a point where he’s knocking his homework out with no issues, which he’s physically capable of.
To do this, we need to focus on helping him to overcome some of these emotional hurdles that are causing him distress.

Part of the problem is that he’s very much focused on the time and is having problems concentrating. It’s easier for him to just not do the work because trying to concentrate is exhausting.

I don’t have ADHD but I’ve spoken to enough people who either have it or are experienced in the area and essentially Elliott’s brain is moving too fast and we need to help him slow things down. Part of that will be through medication but we are also going to put a plan together that will help him learn to do that on his own.

The hope is that in conjunction with medication, we will be able to help him focus with less frustration.

Dr. Pattie and I spoke tonight about all of this again.

Elliott’s very, very smart and he knows how to play to his audience, hence the manipulation. At the same time, we’re not thinking there’s a whole lot awareness in regards to these behaviors.

Let me rephrase that.

We think that he’s reacting to the situation in the only way he knows how. He’s not sitting down and thinking, if I just throw a fit and freak out, I can get out of this.

There’s a very distinct lack of ability to cope and manage situations like this appropriately or constructively.

Elliott’s extremely intelligent. Dr. Pattie and I refer to both him and Emmett as scary smart because it’s truly shocking the level of cognition these two possess.

As a result, it’s very easy to forget that both boys are profoundly emotionally delayed. This means that while they are extremely intelligent, they’re very much behind in the emotional developmental department. That’s par for the course when it comes to Autism.

This is very much going to be a work in progress but as we figure things out, I’ll share what we’re doing, as well as what works and what doesn’t work.

I feel much better about this entire situation now because not only is everyone on the same page, Elliott’s not getting a free pass and we have a better handle on the problem and that gives us a direction.

My main concern was making sure we have reasonable expectations set for him and that we established said expectations so everyone’s on the same page. There has to be continuity across the board.

I think this was overwhelmingly positive and we’ll see how things go.

That’s pretty much where we stand.

As I figure this out, I’ll be sure to share.

Thanks again for all the support and for taking the time to visit. ☺☺

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