A Christmas Story

The greatest Christmastime/holiday film of all time, IMO, this film has become a tradition on American broadcast television. Using an adult narrator telling the story of his childhood (stolen directly for the successful television show The Wonder Years), the film is almost always running on television between Thanksgiving and Christmas. In fact, one channel, TNT, is showing it on repeat for 24 hours starting Christmas eve.

A small slice of 1940's post-war America, the film gives a glimpse into a midwestern family and the comical goings-on surrounding the weeks leading up to Christmas. Focussing on the main character Ralphie, and his quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun.

Almost every scene is memorable, and is worth and examination on its own. However, there are some of the scenes that are particularly noteworthy. Who will ever forget the progressive series of dares, leading up to the inevitble Triple Dog Dare that lead to Ralphie's friend Flick (Scott Schwartz, now a porn actor) sticking his tounge onto a frozen flagpole? And then. the look of abject horror on the teacher's face when she realizes he is missing.

Of course, the perhaps the greatest scene of all is of course, the flat tire scene. On the family's return to the house after the trip to the Christmas tree store, a tire blows out. When Ralphie get out to help his father, and accidentally spills the lug nuts, he mutters the fatal f-bomb. The resultant soap-in-mouth, telephoning other parents and and subsequent over-the-phone spanking will be forever etched in my memory.

Of course, there are Ralphie's fantasies about saving his family from Bad Bart. And the Christmas dinner at the Chinese restaurant after the neighbor's dog mauls the turkey. And the Pink bunny suit. And the fake teeth.

Narrator: Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle.Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Polaski's candy store!Narrator: They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I could tell I was in imminent danger of overplaying my hand.

Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!Narrator: Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the
"F-dash-dash-dash" word!The Old Man: What did you say?Ralphie: Uh, um...The Old Man: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!Ralphie: It was all over -- I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese
water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.