Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews Disclosure

This is a review blog, not a personal blog. Marketers send me products for free, and I agree to review them. Sometimes they offer me a small fee for my time. This fee covers my time, but it doesn't buy a positive review. My time is valuable, and there are many other income-producing ways I could spend it. I choose to do reviews because I believe they have value in our culture.
I don't review food anymore. I rarely review music. I don't review games unless they are educational. I mostly focus on books (picture and adult), clothing (baby through adult), services, tools, and home improvement items.
I don't print the press release. Please do not send me a press release. If I review your product, it might not be favorable. I don't return review products because I don't have an assistant to drive them to the post office and stand in that crazy line. I'm not a big corporation; I'm just a normal person with a limited amount of time.
Please, readers, do not be confused: I did not buy anything you are reading about here. I didn't just stumble into Wal-Mart and say, "OMG, I MUST HAVE IT." Somebody sent it to me and asked me to write about it. So I did.
I can be reached at ritajarens@gmail.com.

Some Kind of Samson (Short Story) for NOOKIn the short story "Some Kind of Samson," Jennifer's childhood friend Gail develops cancer, forever changing their relationship and forcing Jennifer to experience the ambiguity of endings.

May 05, 2010

Great Wolf Lodge Kansas City

I helped break a Guinness World Record. I know, I know. Really, stop. And what, you might ask, is my claim to fame? I waterslided. Waterslid? I rode a waterslide with a whole bunch of people over and over and over.

On March 26, I joined apparently 45, 148 people in 11 Great Wolf Lodge locations to break the continuous watersliding world record. And then I got to stay in a room at the Kansas City Great Wolf Lodge *for free* in order to bring you this unbiased report of that establishment's accommodations, and also to waterslide. (Yes, I just made that a verb.)

I had never been to the Great Wolf Lodge before, although every time we drove to The Legends in Kansas City, I'd stare longingly at the colorful waterslides poking out of the building. Especially when it was like twelve degrees outside. The waterslides did not disappoint. You rode them on giant inflatable floaties, so there was none of that scraping-the-butt-on-metal business, and you were totally less likely to lose your bikini top. Also -- and this is key -- young children aren't as scared of them. Beloved, the little angel and I all rode down them together because the floaties were so big. Also, those slides were FAST. I have never been on a waterslide that fast before, and I consider myself something of a connoisseur, being from the middle of the country -- where we waterslide instead of surfing.

This very fuzzy camera phone pic doesn't show the actual waterslides, so I'll just steal a photo from their site.

Now you get the picture, right?

The accommodations were fine. If you wanted to pay extra, you could get a Wolf Den or something like that. It had a special little kid area with bunkbeds and their own TV. I'm sure some kids would love it, and the little angel loved it until it was dark, and then she became convinced that there were creatures inside her wolf den with her because of the shadows. I'm thinking you know your kids' personality and whether or not it would be worth it to do what I consider a significant financial upgrade.

Interesting and different. And possibly terrifying. Depends on the kid.

Other attractions:

Arcade -- AWESOME! We play a lot of ridiculous arcade games in the Arens family, as it is the poor man's theme park. We regularly spend time in places with claw machines and pinball machines and anything involving whack-a-mole. On date nights, Beloved and I usually head out to play pool and darts. So I speak from experience when I say this was a good arcade. Stuff for all ages. We spent about two hours there. And you could bring your drinks in, a huge plus for the tired parent.

Strange wizard-themed MagiQuest game involving the necessary purchase of a $15 plastic wand and about three hours of tromping around the hotel. Didn't like. Not a fan. But the tweens seemed to like it -- I don't know. I don't know why you'd tromp around with a wand when you could be watersliding, but maybe it's a matter of personal taste.

So there you have it! My unbiased review! *Note: My daughter asks about every three days when we are going back.