"Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening to that record anyway." (Bill Maher)

"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease." (Bill Maher)

"I watched that Donald Trump show and I almost hijacked a plane." (Bill Maher, on the reality TV program, The Apprentice)

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Maher, on Politically Incorrect)