Meet Your Wingnut Congresscritter: Tom Marino

With the imminent departure of Michele Bachmann from the World's Greatest Legislative Body, we have inaugurated a new semi-regular quasi-weekly feature in which we study the possible successor to la Bachmann as Royal Regent of the Crazy People. (Louie Gohmert is, of course, emperor for life.). You may have noticed that the president announced that he would delay implementation of the employer mandate provisions of the Affordable Care Act. This was considered by several to be yet another sop thrown to the vandals across the aisle who have voted futilely to repeal the whole thing 37 times. This was considered by the vandals in question to be an outrage. This is not surprising. The vandals in question could find a reason to be outraged by Glinda, Good Witch Of The North.

More From Esquire

Which brings us to Rep. Tom Marino of the 10th Congressional District Of Pennsylvania. He is outraged. He is vexed and ratty, SIR! And he is thinking about calling in...wait for it...the law.

...but during a local radio interview on "94.3 The Talker," Rep. Tom Marino (R-PA) went a step further, telling the David Madeira Show that "If the chief law enforcer of the country ... will not enforce the law, and the president decides to break the law because he doesn't like it, there has to be another mechanism by which we in Congress can kick into gear, pursue this, see if there are criminal charges we can file." He added that he plans to "approach leadership and say we need to appoint a special committee like there was in Watergate that has authority to subpoena people, that has authority to investigate; and, I'm looking for a part of a statute that says we have the authority to indict."

Actually, the "statute" under which your present institution operates is called the Constitution Of The United States and in it, there is a provision that gives you "the authority to indict." It is called impeachment. Put another way, the House Of Representatives is not a jerkwater DA's office in Luzerne County, and you are not a local gallus-snapping prosecutor in a town where your brother-in-law is the sheriff and your Uncle Fud is the judge. Jesus, these people.

Tom, who is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, first came to our attention a while back when he seemed not to realize that Libya was in Africa. No matter, because, in 2012, he won re-election with 65.6 percent of the vote. So, yes, Tom Marino, you and your odd notions of both geography and the constitutional order, are in the ballgame. Other nominations are always welcome. Our lines are open. Our operators are standing by. This is a free call.