When Everything Falls Apart

The view from the airplane window as we descended into Miami didn’t seem all that bad. Trees down, some roof damage. What you might expect after a strong tropical storm.

My sister-in-law picked me up at the Airport. “Wait” she said “Just wait..it gets worse”. Heading South on US1, there were fewer and fewer recognizable landmarks. The work of men and nature laid waste. It was August 28th 1992, four days after Hurricane Andrew had it’s way with South Florida. I came to help my family, and put in some volunteer time for the Red Cross.

The news reports up North didn’t convey the magnitude of what I was seeing. Upscale neighborhoods resembled war zones. Then there was the heat, and the smell – a combination of bay mud, rotting vegetation and mildew. Those early post-storm weeks were a life lived for the basics – getting water and food, securing the house as best we could, and waiting, lots of waiting for power, phones, supplies.

Hurricane Andrew - Google Image

The word “disaster” has a personal meaning for me now. And, I know that my experience cannot even come close to what Haiti struggles with at this moment. The scope of loss defies words. The images are at once impossible to watch, and still I can’t look away. What little I know tells me that I will never fully comprehend this catastrophe.

So how to respond?

Some will go in person. There’s a need for supplies. It all costs money. By all means, help in any way possible.

But there’s more. Something everyone can contribute no matter what their circumstances.

We can all send the prayers and compassion of our hearts. An understanding that no one is given a pass in this life from pain and illness, death and loss can break us open in a way that the moments of ease never can. And I remember that my neighbor can be next door, or half-way around the world.

This is one of those times when I’m drawn to the words of the Buddha and the “Five Remembrances”. Far from finding them depressing, I read them and remember to cherish each day of life and take every opportunity to make things better for those around me.

The Five Remembrances:

The body is certain to become old. There is no way for it to escape growing old.
The body is certain to become ill. There is no way for it to escape ill health.
The body is certain to die. There is no way for it to escape death.
Everything and everyone I love is subject to change and death. There is no way to escape separation from them.
My actions are my only true belongings. I am the heir of my actions. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand and the reality which I experience.

Birth will end in death. Youth will end in old age. Wealth will end in loss. Meetings will end in separation. All things in the material world are impermanent. The Buddhas cannot wash our sins with water. They cannot remove our suffering with their hands. They cannot transfer their insights to us. All they can do is teach the Dharma. I am my own protector.

8 Responses

Oh, my.
No response but to thank you for sharing your experience of the tragedy in Florida. My cousin and family hunkered down in the closet in the middle of their home while the roof blew out. Their house was completely destroyed. I didn’t see the destruction, can only imagine the horror of it all. I agree…compassion, prayers, and yes money to the appropriate channels can help. And, it is not a sprint, but a marathon. It will take a long time. Thank you Judi.

Thank you, Judy, for what you have shared here. Balance is so important, most especially with the news. There is a lot of anxiety running around with respect to this particular tragedy — as there so often is with tragedies both great and small — and anxiety draws more negativity to it. A steady diet of the news reports not only creates but multiplies that anxiety, and some people don’t know what to do with the intensity of what they are feeling. I experienced that through a “random” encounter with a stranger at Panera last Friday. It was extremely unpleasant and starkly showed how important it is to maintain good boundaries. While concern is natural and humane, it is important to respond, which comes from a place of balance and compassion, rather than react, which comes from a place of fear and chaos. We don’t need to take in all that is out there, and it is far healthier if we don’t. These days I prefer to simply become aware and then to respond compassionately from a place of awareness rather than to bathe myself daily in secondhand horror and chaos out of a belief that it is my duty to take on the cares of the world. When I accept I am responsible for myself and myself alone, my life becomes not less compassionate but more peaceful as a result. I am then free to care for others in a balanced way.