the musings & adventures of two forty something ladies – join us on our journey into the wrinkly unknown

LIFE | 47 things I’ve learnt in my 47 years

It suddenly dawned on me today that I am 48 in a-round-about a month [15th December if you’re contemplating sending a card] … or as the BF keeps reminding me – You are 50 in 2 years!

Firstly how the bloody hell did that happen; it only seems two minutes since my 40th which I celebrated in some style if I say so myself. I can party hard when I set my mind to it. I love nothing better than letting loose and having a good time. My celebrations dragged out over a whole 3 weeks and included amongst lots of other things a weekend in Manchester with the girls, The Kings Of Lyon at Sheffield Arena, lots of family and work meals / nights out. Lots and lots of champagne and cake.

40th Birthday celebrations in full swing

Well you are only 40 once…

I thought it might be fun today to list ‘47 things I’ve learnt in my 47 years’… some serious, some silly … If I can muster that many up that is.

I’m older but definitely [when it comes to somethings] not wiser. I still feel like a child at times and I’m constantly evolving… which for some bizarre reason makes me sound like a chuffing monkey.

So here goes …

1. Never apply false tan before a big event. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have turned up somewhere swish , dressed up to the nines with the skin tone of a umper lumper or with my legs looking like 2 slices of streaky bacon. At the Northern Blog Awards last year my hands were so orange, they looked ultra violet.

2. Not everybody will like you. You could be the kindest, most loveliest person in the world but for whatever reason this person just doesn’t dig you. You’ve never done anything to warrant it but you grate on them. You know it, they know it . You are polite in each others company but you feel their distaste. I’ve figured out over the years that it’s not your problem – its theirs.

3. Love unconditionally because you never know when it could all be taken away AND never leave on an argument.

4. You will typically get a big spot on your chin before a special night out. Remember it’s a spot and not the end of the world. Cover it up the best you can, go out and enjoy yourself. I used to get so obsessed with my ‘temperamental’ skin to the point I have even cancelled nights out in the past. OK so I had adult acne and it was a little bit worse than just a spot …but the people who love you will still love you, beer tastes the same and after a few [beers] nobody can see properly anyway. They’ll find it hard to focus on you … never mind your blemishes !

5. Don’t chase after boys/ men who clearly aren’t bothered about you. Guys who are just after a good time, no strings attached. Its demoralizing. I chased one guy all over the place. I was always available, became far too needy and he basically treated me like shit… because I let him. I thought I didn’t deserve any better. I deserved so much better I just couldn’t see it at the time. AND never date a married man no matter how charming they are …

6. Embrace your geek. Whatever yours maybe.

7. Walking is good for the soul. It gives you clarity, head-space, time to think.

8. People will always surprise you. But not always in a good way

9. Always trust you instinct. It’s usually spot-on

10. Always make sure you can afford your taxi home. Don’t ever ‘snog’ a taxi driver in exchange for payment when you can’t afford the fare![ Speaking for a friend 🙂]

11. You will put your hair up haphazardly to walk your dog and after hardly any effort it will look amazing. You will try to replicate this look on a night out and despite blood, sweat, tears and 100 hair grips it will never look as good as it did on dog walk day in the drizzle!

12. Chocolate makes most situations better…if only temporarily

13. I need coffee to function in a morning. Give me all the coffee

14. Life is amazing, then its shit, then it’s amazing again – ride the storm. No mindset or feeling is ever permanent

15. Say yes to more things that scare you. This is something I am still working on as I tend to run away when things get a little too much. I need to embrace situations rather than let my own anxiety get the better hand.

16. Sunsets are amazing and no two will ever be the same. I want to see as many sunsets from as many different places as I can , I will never tire of them. They make my heart sing.

17. Its o.k to not be o.k and its o.k to say so.

18. Surround yourself with good people. The type that make you laugh, that bring out the best in you. I read somewhere that you are a combination of the five people you spend the most time with. [Wheres Beyonce, Rita, Cheryl, Charlise and Madonna when you need them eh?]

19. Nobody has walked your path. Not everybody will fully understand your situation, or the way you are feeling. You can’t make people appreciate or understand something they have never experienced themselves. Don’t be so hard on them. Remember you were them at one time.

20. Never judge a book by its cover. Years ago I was paired with a guy at an event. We had to go out and shoot some photo’s together. On paper he was the most unlikeliest guy I would have gone up to speak too. However after spending 2 hours with him – I can categorically say he’s probably one of the most interesting and entertaining people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. We are still friends.

Only 27 to go folks …

21. At my 21st birthday party I threw garden peas at my ex’s new girlfriends head from the balcony where we were sat celebrating. She had curly hair and I can remember the peas stuck to it beautifully. A woman scorned eh ! Childish yes but so very satisfying… and not really a life lesson but hey!

22. Saying no is sometimes harder than saying yes.

23. Nobody is perfect… except Bradley Cooper … Bradley is about as perfect as you can get

24. Never take yourself too seriously.

25. It’s ok to sing in your car on Instagram stories. People might think your affected. Maybe you are? Who really cares in the big scheme of things, they’ll be talking about somebody else next week. And Look at James Corden it did him no harm – let’s sing!

26. Beans on toast and a cup of tea never fails to hit the spot.

27. Materialistic people are not my type of people.

28. Nothing beats a long weekend away with the girls. I laugh more, I drink more, I dance more when I’m with my girlfriends. It’s special time with special ladies. I always need a break when I get home – to recover !

29. Nothing will ever replace my Mum and I wouldn’t want it too. I have my memories, my treasured photographs. I wear her wedding ring so she feels close. She lives on in me. I need to work on forgetting the last few weeks while she lay in palliative care dying and remember ALL the fabulous times we had together, and as a family. She really was one in a million, I’ve never met anybody like Peggy Herring.

30. A can of coke and packet of salt and vinegar crisps will cure any hangover. Ask my bestie Rachel

31. Experiencing new places and cultures will never get boring. My feet are constantly itchy and despite not travelling much this year it does makes me extremely happy when I get the chance.

32. Don’t let people walk all over you and if you feel they are – speak up. Just last week I felt like I was being taken for a mug. I acted on it and I feel much better for doing so. It’s no use letting things fester, they only tend to escalate and get worse.

33. Do something crazy every now and again. Learn to pole dance, go belly dancing [I have never laughed so much as the time we went ] Jump out of a plane. It’s all good for the soul. I fully intend to swim with sharks at some point during my life.

34. Never apologise for being you.

35. Never , I repeat never , sit on your dates brand spanking new yellow settee when you are on your heavy period. Don’t try to remove your ‘accident’ with JIF and make it 100 times worse. When all else fails don’t turn the cushion over like it never happened ! Just fess up straight away. YES I am still cringing.

36. You will never be able to watch the film E.T without becoming a full on blubbering mess.

37. You will never marry Jason Orange [ of Take That fame ] Where’s he disappeared too anyway . Is he really gay?

38. Taxi drivers are your friend but also remember not all taxi drivers like their hair moulding into horns. [speaking for a friend again]

39. Don’t send texts when you are drunk. EVER

40. ALWAYS, always , always attend your smear test.

41. Make time for people. Your time is the most precious thing you have to offer.

42. Some of the simplest things in life bring the greatest joy. Walking bare foot on the beach, the sand between your toes. Drinking frothy coffee next to a roaring open fire. A bubble bath with candles . A sea view. Breakfast in bed. A sunset.

43. Appreciate the little things. See 42

44. Be the best version of yourself you can be. Don’t let other people’s insecurities and self-doubt bring you down. Know your worth. Don’t let apps like Instagram zap your confidence and make you feel ‘ you are not good enough’ I’ve been there, I’ve felt all those things … it’s something I’m working on.

45. A smile can make some bodies day … as can a hug, or a compliment. Cream buns work a treat too.

46. You cannot drink red wine, or white wine … or any wine really . Stick to whisky or [your new-found tipple] Gin. You are your mothers daughter after all .

47. You are stronger than you could ever have imagined.

So there you have it just some of the 47 things I’ve learnt as I approach the big good 4-8.

I honestly don’t mind growing old , it’s a privilege. I still feel like I have loads more living to do, things to learn; places to see … that I’ve only really scratched the surface. That I’ve got more to give – whatever that maybe.

Life its a weird one isn’t it?

but you know what despite everything … it is absolutely bloody marvelous