Favourite Sexual Positions

1.
Posted byPardus(Respected Member 2356 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

After watching a documentary on the Medieval English Space Program (initated by King Richard The Lionheart before he left for the Crusade) it really made me think.

There are fewer and fewer Garden Gnomes to be seen? Is this decline due to the increasing number of terriers wearing pink backpacks while running around in circle shouting "Burn the Witch" and wiping their foreheads on Rubber Plants? Or is it because of the increased presence of Right Wing Centralist Staple Extractors that issue smells of boiled cabbage?

Can we prevent the looming apocalypse by painting all the traffic cones blue while spitting out of the window of some cheap hotel in which we stay after we had a joyride on a remote controlled mongoose? Or should we wear more hats with horns on them and jump up and down and hurl bingo scratch-cards at passing widows and their husbands while they crouch down to avoid the flying cotton anvils?

I really need help here now... I am chained to a 2-ton block of chocolate with nothing more than a broken hexameter and without a seismograph.

And if you thought this was about sex and this is the only reason you're still reading, Shame on you!!!!! Naughty, naughty....

2.
Posted byRraven(Travel Guru 5924 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Phil - shame on you !!! you're supposed to share the chocolate !

3.
Posted byCupcake(Travel Guru 8468 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

You do know you can get people to read anything by putting sex, politics or religion in the title ?(Step away from the chocolate, and nobody gets hurt!)

4.
Posted byPardus(Respected Member 2356 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Quoting CupCake

You do know you can get people to read anything by putting sex, politics or religion in the title ?(Step away from the chocolate, and nobody gets hurt!)

5.
Posted byIsadora(Travel Guru 13926 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

MARTINIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See, it works!)

I had just finished the vampire post when I heard a martini being shaken - not stirred. (I even beat Anne!)

I'm actually going with the Right Wing Centralist Staple Extractors that exude the odor of boiled cabbage. But, then again - it may be all those terriers in pink lifting their legs on the poor defenseless gnomes!! (How many showers do you think they can take in one day?! The gnomes, not the terriers.)

Spitting out the window of a cheap hotel to prevent a looming apocalypse... Interesting notion... Though, I would prefer to joyride on a flying zebra, as mongooses are so small. (Or is it mongeese?)

No seismograph???? Well, we just can't have that can we now?! You can borrow mine until you find your own. I know a great little shop in the West Village that has cute little ones painted in psychodelic colors to ward off the evil monsters that are hiding under your block of chocolate. (Aaaahhhhh, I hate to mention this - but someone who looks very much like a person we all know, but who shall remain nameless, is gnawing off very large chunks of that sweet confection to which you are chained... Just thought you'd like to know...)

[ Edit: typo ]

6.
Posted byCupcake(Travel Guru 8468 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Quoting isadora

[b] I hate to mention this - but someone who looks very much like a person we all know, but who shall remain nameless, is gnawing off very large chunks of that sweet confection to which you are chained... Just thought you'd like to know...)

mmmffffWHOmmmffpphh mmrrfffMEmmmm?

7.
Posted byHien(Travel Guru 3906 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Jos, you've got brownish stain on your face!

8.
Posted byCupcake(Travel Guru 8468 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Never. I don't eat my chocolate messily...that would be a waste of the precious nector

9.
Posted byareinstein(Travel Guru 2788 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Quoting CupCake

You do know you can get people to read anything by putting sex, politics or religion in the title ?(Step away from the chocolate, and nobody gets hurt!)

I cant wait to see how many views this thread will have in a matter of a week .

10.
Posted byareinstein(Travel Guru 2788 posts) 12y
Star this if you like it!

Quoting isadora

MARTINIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See, it works!)

I had just finished the vampire post when I heard a martini being shaken - not stirred. (I even beat Anne!)

Hey, I am only 2 hrs late...isnt that just fashionably late? Besides, I've already had my first martini of the weekend. I had to start my Friday off right .