How long do you have to wait to remarry after a spouse passes

I thought of this whilst perusing deadspin yesterday and reading this:

What's the appropriate amount of affection for a remarried widow to show for her first husband? If you were husband #2 would you be okay with there being a picture of her and her first husband on your fireplace? I think you'd have to be cool with it and act like he was the greatest guy ever, as he's not really a threat, but it's pretty shitty to have to believe that she probably liked him better and thinks of him during sex.

quote:I think it depend on the length of the marriage. Let's say you're 80 years and old and you meet some smoking hot widow playing shuffle board at the assisted living facility. Let's say her husband died a while back and they were married for sixty years. I think, if you're that old, you totally let it go. Even if she screams out his name during intercourse, big deal. You're both old. You accept the parameters quickly before you die alone.

quote:But, if you're 30 years old and the girl you married was only married to her hubby for a year before he died in a fiery car wreck, I think that's completely different. There's still time to construct an entire life out of your relationship, with kids and everything. She should be allowed to have a picture of him in the house and all that. But no fricking tats of his name. And no wearing some locket with a picture of him tucked inside. That's unfair. You can't compete with a dead guy. He's DEAD! He can't possibly frick up now that's gone. You can't live up to that standard. You're gonna fart and forget to do the dishes and do all the things that dead people don't have to worry about. She's gotta have some respect for you on that front.

re: How long do you have to wait to remarry after a spouse passes(Posted by WikiTiger on 1/19/11 at 4:41 pm to Duckie)

If my partner dies before me then I'll likely never get into another relationship again. But that's just my personality. If I die before her then I would want her to do whatever makes her happiest, and if that means being in a relationship with someone else, even if its my best friend, then that is just fine with me.

re: How long do you have to wait to remarry after a spouse passes(Posted by OneMoreVol on 1/19/11 at 4:44 pm to lsunurse)

I like the original question but let me take it another step. If you were married for a lengthy period of time, say 30 years, then widowed and remarried, would you want to be buried next to your original spouse or most recent.

My family is going through this now. My great aunt and uncle were married a loooong time and after he passed away she remarried. Now they have been married 10 or 15 years but she's in poor poor health. Her husband has already said he wants her buried in his family cemetery but my family strongly disagrees. What say the masses?

re: How long do you have to wait to remarry after a spouse passes(Posted by Kracka on 1/19/11 at 4:45 pm to Duckie)

quote:away? Or, do you not get married again?

I am never getting married again. I know never is a long time, but for starters, if my wife died I would have a hard time getting over that. Secondly if she died or we divorced, I wouldn't want a step parent raising my kids. Especially with all the crazies that abuse step children and or kill them.

quote:My family is going through this now. My great aunt and uncle were married a loooong time and after he passed away she remarried. Now they have been married 10 or 15 years but she's in poor poor health. Her husband has already said he wants her buried in his family cemetery but my family strongly disagrees. What say the masses?

Another reason for me not to get married again. I would likely just frick around.

re: How long do you have to wait to remarry after a spouse passes(Posted by Duckie on 1/19/11 at 4:45 pm to Cajun Revolution)

I thought of this because of deadspin:

quote: What's the appropriate amount of affection for a remarried widow to show for her first husband? If you were husband #2 would you be okay with there being a picture of her and her first husband on your fireplace? I think you'd have to be cool with it and act like he was the greatest guy ever, as he's not really a threat, but it's pretty shitty to have to believe that she probably liked him better and thinks of him during sex.

quote:I think it depend on the length of the marriage. Let's say you're 80 years and old and you meet some smoking hot widow playing shuffle board at the assisted living facility. Let's say her husband died a while back and they were married for sixty years. I think, if you're that old, you totally let it go. Even if she screams out his name during intercourse, big deal. You're both old. You accept the parameters quickly before you die alone.

But, if you're 30 years old and the girl you married was only married to her hubby for a year before he died in a fiery car wreck, I think that's completely different. There's still time to construct an entire life out of your relationship, with kids and everything. She should be allowed to have a picture of him in the house and all that. But no fricking tats of his name. And no wearing some locket with a picture of him tucked inside. That's unfair. You can't compete with a dead guy. He's DEAD! He can't possibly frick up now that's gone. You can't live up to that standard. You're gonna fart and forget to do the dishes and do all the things that dead people don't have to worry about. She's gotta have some respect for you on that front.