Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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A question for the ladies

Guys feel free to throw in your 2 cents, not trying to be sexist and when you read the question you will see why. Ok ladies do you want a guy to take charge pay for every thing, pump your gas and wait on you hand on foot or do you want to be treated as an equal assome one who can open her own dam door and not be treated as the weaker sex.

I like being pampered once in a while, but I don't want to be treated like I can't do anything for myself. I think it's chivalrous (sp?) when the man/boy opens my door or pays for a meal, but that's not to say I have a problem with paying.
I think there needs to be an equal balance of both ^-^

Definately to be treated like an equal, although it is nice for someone to do nice things for you such as open a door, etc. I don't think anyone should expect it. I also think at times the woman should do those same things for a their man. Although it should be 50/50, there are always those times when you just want someone to take care of you so then it may be 80/20, but that needs to go both ways. &quot;Sometimes I carry you, sometimes you carry me, and sometimes we walk together&quot; kinda thing.

I want a man to be a gentleman and treat me like a lady. Opening doors, etc doesnt mean I am the weker sex (really dislike that term) it just means the man has manners. I dont expect to be waited on hand and foot. I pump my own gas and if I feel like paying I do but if he has asked me out on an &quot;official&quot; date, then he needs to be prepared to pay, if we are just getting together for whatever, I go dutch.

If a guy is so put out by opening a door for me, then well that tells me alot.

I agree with the comments above. Opening doors and such is good manners. But I'm self sufficient I can fend for myself. I'll definately take the insentive to show my independence. But a good first impression is always appreciated. Standards get tuffer after you weather a divorce. Your looking for thoughtfulness, authenticity, and gentleness. At least when I get out there that's what I'll be looking for.

I have to agree with the ladies. A man being the gentleman is very much appreciated! It has nothing to do with being perceived as the weaker or more dominant sex -- it's all about respect and good manners. But I also think it should go both ways. If you are going to open my door and pump my gas, then I'll give you a back rub after a tough day or cook you your favorite meal (though you'd be doing the dishes after...).

If you find that by opening a woman's door she is offended, you can stop. But I tend to think more women will smile and love it vs. not.

I think manners definitely need to be in play. But, for me, I was in the military, the woman had to prove themselves to be equal to the guys. It was tough but I did it. I tend to feel like I can hang with the boys and when someone actually does something for me, it takes me back...it's nice. I think a mix is nice balance.

I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to the dating game. I feel that I should open doors for the ladies (and hold them open for women and children). I feel that I should open the car door for the lady and assist her in and out. I feel that I should help a lady on and off with her coat and offer her mine if she doesn't have one. I feel I should pull out a ladies chair at a restaurant. These are rather simple gestures and don't take a lot of extra effort, but in my experience, they are appreciated.

I, personally speaking, like to have doors held open for me, offer me a coat on a cold day, I don't ever want to be treated like I am better then anyone else, but I think some of the things you mentioned are a sign of respect and that we as women are not weaker by any means.

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