Hey listen. She has some good qualities. Like her cookbook! Her recipe for chocolate chip cookies comes from the back of a bag of Nestle, except instead of Nestle chips, she uses gold. And instead of salt, she uses the tears of sad billionaires.

This really played a mind game with me! First, I was annoyed at myself for being so out-of-the-loop that I never even knew she had a son named Moses. Then I felt annoyed at myself that I even cared about being out-of-the-loop! Finally, I just ended up hating the entire stupid thing.