I am an evil giraffe. Who no longer blogs about politics.

For those who missed it – or forgot about it, given yesterday’s events – the State Department had decided to replace Mother/Father on passport applications and other documents with Parent One/Parent Two. Leaving aside the question of why I’m supposed to care if somebody’s offended by the old description…

No, seriously: why am I supposed to care? That I even ask that question will get some people huffy, but you know something? I think a level of sufficient triviality has been reached at this point that I’m not feeling obligated to feel bad that somebody else feels bad about this. The universe is notoriously unfair. Be grateful if State Department paperwork language is the most outrageous thing in your life.

…anyway, leaving aside my essential indifference to the ‘suffering’ implied herein, quick question: which parent gets to be Parent One, and which one is stuck with being Parent Two?

Well, the State Department has answered that question – or, rather, SecState Clinton has: the paperwork will be amended to Mother/Parent 1 and Father/Parent 2. Which I suspect that every father reading this will quickly agree on, usually while looking over one shoulder in a not-quite-serious fashion…

Moe Lane

PS: My indifference to the ‘problem’ extends to my indifference to the ‘solution,’ too. Neither removed any skin from my nose, so can we score this as “settled” and move, as they say, on?

As a father, I am outrageously outraged that I am delegated to “Parent 2”. This sort of dog whistle androphobia has historically led to all sorts of outrageous discrimination. I will gladly provide examples as soon as I think of some.