Dear Baby: Thirty-Eight Weeks, One Day

Dear Baby: Thirty-Eight Weeks, One Day

Some might think that I’d like nothing better than for you to be born today.

I beg to differ. I BESEECH THEE TO DIFFER.

I. Don’t. Want. You. To. Be. Born. Today.

And to explain why that’s the case, here are the top ten reasons why you cannot be born today.

1. Today is my birthday. That should be enough of a reason.

2. I am very selfish about my birthday. I don’t care if this makes me sound like an immature bitch. (Yes! I just said ‘bitch’ in a letter to a BABY! CALL THE POLICE! SEND OUT THE SIGNAL! SHE’S UNFIT TO BE A MOTHER!) I simply don’t want to share my birthday with anyone in our family. Sure, maybe a niece or nephew or grandchild would be alright. But I’m not sharing this day with anyone else in our house. Not gonna do it.

2a. And that’s because I don’t want to share future birthday celebrations with anyone else. For who will get to pick where to go to dinner? Whose birthday party will my mind be preoccupied with as my own unspecial day nears? Who will get all of the attention? You. YOU! And that’s in large part because you’ll be more adorable than me for at least the next thirteen or so years.

3. Who wants to spend their birthday in labor? Not me.

4. My Blessingway is tonight. I don’t want to miss it.

4a. There are promises of cupcakes with homemade buttercream frosting and then raspberries stuffed with lemon frosting at said Blessingway. I don’t want to miss out on this food.

4b. There’s going to be henna! On my belly! And I don’t want to miss that either. Because this is my last pregnancy. And my belly has never been henna-ed before. So. Hold your horses, kid.

5. If you’re born on my birthday, that means that I’ll also be recovering from childbirth on at least part of my birthday. Now, it’s not that recovery is necessarily a negative (or painful, uncomfortable, etc.) experience. But it’s not always a picnic either. And since I’m feeling better than ever in this pregnancy, I’d rather stick with the comfort I know than risk the potential discomfort I don’t yet know.

6. I also have plans to go out for a birthday brunch at one of my new favorite local restaurants with your dad and your brothers. And you know what? If I don’t get to eat my birthday brunch, then you don’t get to either. And because this meal will most certainly be delicious, you have a vested interest in stalling your birth, oh uterine dweller.

7. Did I mention yet that it is my birthday? Just in case it’s not quite clear, IT’S MY THIRTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY! And though you’ll be one of the best gifts I ever receive in my lifetime, come on: I think you’d be much better suited as a “best all-time present” than as a mere “birthday present.”

Think about it.

Love,

Mom

p.s. If you do happen to arrive today, please know that I won’t be nearly as much of a bad sport about it as I may appear right now. I’ll love you with all my heart (and then some) no matter when you arrive.

Please note, however, that I’ll still give you shit–even if only a little bit of shit–for now and forever if you choose today as the big day. And yes, I just said ‘shit’ to a baby. I’M SELFISH AND IMMATURE AND THE WORLD’S WORST MOTHER! (You can print that up on a t-shirt and give it to me for my next birthday.)

Update: Thank you for indulging me in my immaturity and selfishness yesterday! You’ve allowed me to continue my existence without any birthday competition, and I thank you for that. Now we can just play the waiting/guessing game in anticipation of your arrival!

12 Comments

Kate01-07-2012

Better tell the baby to wait at least a few days My youngest nephew was born just a few hours before his dad’s 29th birthday and starting with their joint 1st/30th b-day party have wound up sharing celebrations ever since.

Good point! At this point, I feel confident enough that we could space out celebrations adequately, and no one would feel robbed of their special day. In fact, he could share either one of his grandpa’s birthdays at this point: 1/10 or 1/20. I don’t think either of them would mind too!

I don’t blame you! My first was born the morning after our wedding anniversary. I’ll bet you can guess what we’ve been doing on our anniversary most years since then.

I’ve been telling little girl to stay put too, but it’s mostly because I’m just not ready yet. I keep telling myself that Jan. 20 is quite far off, and the first two were late, so I have time. Famous last words, right?

Glad I’m not the only one! My daughter was due 2 days after my birthday and everyone kept saying how cool it would be to share birthdays. Everyone except me anyway. lol. Luckily she waited another 6 days.

Agreed. One of the reasons I’m happy to be having this one in April or May is that it’s not even remotely close to my birthday, Eric’s, Noah’s, Christmas, etc. Our anniversaries (dating & marriage) are in late May, so theoretically the new birthday could hit those, but … pretty good odds, as two-month windows go!

If it makes you a selfish bitch to want your own day and for Baby to have his own day, then I’m a big ole bitch too! I think birthday’s are special and not to be shared with immediate family. Emaline was due on 9.9.09, also known as my 3rd wedding anniversary but came 6 days late. This baby really has no shot at coming on any other milestone days in our little family but he/she could come on 2.29.12, leap day. Hmmmmm. Not sure how I feel about that!

I remember keeping the possibility of a leap day baby in mind when we were trying for this one. Thankfully, it’s only one of MANY days that your baby can be born, so I hope that s/he avoids that day for your sake! (Though you never know–perhaps some people enjoy having a leap birthday.)

And I totally get the not-wanting-to-share thing. I spent my whole life sharing my birthday with Mother’s Day. They weren’t *always* on the same day, of course, but they were usually celebrated on the same day in my family.

Of course, now that I’m actually a mom, how long do I have to wait until my birthday and Mother’s Day are on the same day? TWELVE YEARS. Of course.

Disclaimer: please don’t confuse anything you see here with medical advice. I am not a doctor or nurse or midwife. I’m barely even medically competent enough to put a bandaid on a cut. My work here is simply intended as a springboard to help you consider your options and engage in constructive dialogue with your care provider.