April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM)

April 15, 2019

[Content Warning]

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) – but what does that have to do with domestic violence? What is intimate partner sexual violence (IPSV)?

IPSV is any contact or activity with an intimate partner
that makes a person feel uncomfortable or unsafe with the purpose of
controlling through fear, threats, coercion, manipulation or violence, including,
but not limited to:

unwanted
sexual touching

forced
nudity

forced
viewing of pornography

unwanted
vaginal, oral, and/or anal penetration

unwanted
interference with birth control
use and safe sex practices

sexual
degradation and humiliation

sexual
regulation and monitoring, such as forced inspection of undergarments and
regulating partner’s clothing.

IPSV can be one of
many forms of abuse that we see in the Power & Control wheel, or it can be
the sole form of violence.

“Intimate partner sexual violence
is part of a bigger picture of violence, abuse, and control where sexual
assault and abuse get used as additional forms of battering” (Real Rape, Real
Pain, 2006)

We see this all the time in our domestic violence cases:
IPSV is the 13-year-old girl whose boyfriend coerces her into unwanted sexual
activity through threats and intimidation. It’s the wife who complies with her
husband’s sexual demands because of his explosive violence when she resists.
It’s the man whose male ex stalks him and sexually assaults him. It’s the
immigrant woman whose partner sexually degrades her and threatens to have her
deported if she doesn’t cooperate. It’s the college student whose partner says
she must have sex with him or he’ll post naked photos of her on the internet.
It’s the woman whose boyfriend forces her to have sex with other men for money.
IPSV shows up in many different ways,
and can occur with or without the presence of physical violence at the time of
the act or within the relationship.

“When it is the person you have
entrusted your life to who abuses you, it isn’t just physical or sexual
assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage or your person,
your trust. If you’re not safe in your own home, next to your husband, where
are you safe?” (Real Rape, Real Pain, 2006).