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For those of you who remember Cassie (Memmer), she passed away on Saturday. There is a post in the prayer request forums about it.

My mom talked to her brother last night and he says he is getting more and more unhappy with the hospital my Grandmother is in. He says he went in yesterday and Mommom's coloring was off. When we were there Sunday Mom said she thought that she looked yellow-ish. The nurses are supposed to be helping her up and to walk a couple times a day which they aren't doing. they are also supposed to make sure she breathes in this breathing thing I guess to help make her lungs strong, she's maybe only doing it a couple times a day and is supposed to be 10 times a day. The nurses aren't making her do it or making sure she is doing it. She hasn't had any food or water, not even ice chips. Apparently she's not allowed to have anything because of her colon/bowel and has to make sure its working or something? and she still not sleeping either.

Anyway, it just sounds horrible and I'm scared. She in the hands of nurses who aren't doing their jobs.

Becky, I know it can be really hard and scary to see someone you love in the hospital. Nurses often in many hospitals have been cut down to bare necessities. The hospitals don't staff enough of them to get things done that are needed.

I would encourage your family to stay with her as much as they can and get them to have her do her incentive spriometer. That's really important and it keeps her breathing deep so fluid doesn't form from laying in bed. Even if someone goes in just for a visit they could hand her the thing to blow in as soon as they get there and have her raise the ball or whatever doohickey is in there say 5 times then in the middle of the visit and then again just before they leave.

She wouldn't be allowed to drink anything because it can hurt the bowels. Have someone ask for lemon glycerin sticks. The nurses should be able to give you a few and that will help the gunky stuff in her mouth and lips.

I'd also say if a couple of you feel confident get her up and moving. You'll have to unplug the IV but I'll have the patient hold on to the pole and push it while she walks. The family really needs to advocate for her. Don't worry about the food and water as I'm sure she is on an IV and they are monitoring the input and output.

She needs to give someone permission to talk with the doctors and nurses and then I'd suggest that that person try to be there when the doc comes in (a doctor has to see her once a day. Some make rounds really early but with the holiday coming they might be a bit later on Thursday.) Also that person should call the nursing station and ask how she is doing.

Does she have a PCA for pain control after the surgery? Usually they give a button for the patient to push when she is hurting. It's important that well-meaning family members don't push it for her but it's okay if she's awake and hurting to give it a push or before she gets up to move around to push it.

Also make sure the day nurses know she is not sleeping. Communication from one shift to the next may not be clear and usually the day shift nurses have better contact with the doctors so they could ask doc for a sleeping pill. I hope this helps a bit.

It does anger me that hospitals under-staff their nurses. I know when I've been in before I've literally gone 8 hours without seeing a nurse. There are a lot of tricks some nurses will use and it can be at the patient's detriment though most nurses really want to help they just don't have the time or they may be nursing aids and not able to do everything.

She does have a button for pain because she was hurting when we were visiting and my uncle reminded her that she has it and that she can hit it as much as she wants and she won't get too much pain meds.

when we were there the monitor was going off and beeping and it took 20 minutes before a nurse came in to find out what was going on with it. We thought one of the things was empty but we think it must of just had some air in the tube cause the nurse just hit some buttons and left, she didn't change it.

The do know that she's not sleeping and their reply was "She's getting benadryl to help her sleep"

Mommom is doing better. They are getting her up now and she is getting ice chips too. She's also sitting up in a chair a lot more now instead of being in the bed.

She did accidentally pull a central line and it sounds like it goes up her arm and into her chest or something? Anyway she pulled it out and they put it back and my Aunt said it sounds like she'll be there at least through the weekend because if it was only a couple more days they may not have bothered putting it back. Also, it sounds like her colostomy isn't working or something.

The beeping IV is a notorious thing that many nurses ignore. I always fix mine myself because I can't stand the beeping -- unless the bag is empty then I don't fix that. Once a new nurse was taking care of me and got irritated that I was taking care of my own IV so she pushed the red button in the back that shuts off the buttons in the front in case you have a patient like me. Well at shift change a nurse who had been there since I started working came in and tried to set the IV and none of the buttons worked. She thought the machine was broken and I had to tell her about the red button in the back. We both then laughed hysterically at the other nurse and remembered what we were like when we first got out of nursing school--naive and also a tad arrogant. It doesn't take long to realize the real world is nothing like school.

I also get really protective of my roommates if I have them. Often I don't because I'm in isolation because of the sores but when I do, I often take more care of the roommate than the nurses do. When a lol (lil ole lady) has to pee she has to pee and can't wait two hours for the nurses to come and help. I'll also push call buttons for them, tell family members what the doctor said, fix their IVs, answer the phone and work the TV, I wish I was there with Mommom for ya.

So do ya all have plans for tomorrow? We are going to Andy's parents' house. We did it last year and it was nice but there will be lots more people this year so I'm a bit anxious plus for the first time Q won't be home. I've spent holidays in the hospital before but they still would all come in and see me. Speaking of that (knock on wood) this is the first time in like 23 years that I've made it to the end of November without going into the hospital!

You do have to be proactive as a patient on the regular floors. Nurses are so overloaded these days; it's not that they're purposefully ignoring patients, but they're so crazy busy that they can't be in 20 places at once. If the hospital does hourly rounding then you can see your nurse once an hour at least, but having done it, it's sometimes almost impossible to get everything done as well as see your patients every hour. Sad, I know, but acuities are much higher than in the days when patients would stay for 10 days at a time; now what used to be a 10-day stay is overnight or outpatient, and what used to be ICU is on the floor with 5 other patients. And with the new regulations in place, it's likely to just get worse...

I am hopefully working the next two nights and making some much needed moolah for our bank account. The Hyundai is acting up (slipping while shifting) and we already spent almost $700 getting the brakes done on the Honda. And our car insurance is due next week - I pay the full year at a time to avoid interest fees - and we have like three medical bills also due. It's been a year since we moved down here and registered the cars/got insurance, so November will be notorious for having high bills, but the additional pressure of car repairs is stretching us thin! Added to that is the credit card debt from buying plane tickets for next month...I'll be very happy when December is over and everything finally gets paid off. I was on standby Friday so hopefully the census has stayed up all week and it will not be my turn again. Some nurses have been cut twice in two weeks lately. I have time off to cover if I need to but I'd rather not use it up if at all possible. I am grateful for my job, though - other nurses don't have one anymore, and I do, so I am thankful God is still providing for our needs.

We had a nice Thanksgiving dinner last night, though, with my new writer friend I met at a NaNo write-in in L.A. The last two weeks I went to the write-in and then we spent all night (both weeks) talking afterward. She isn't a Christian, but we have had conversations about life, philosophy, politics, religion, etc. and although we disagree, we're able to have respectful dialogue with no hard feelings about anything. It's soooo refreshing in this time where Facebook is just deluged with name-calling and exaggerations over disagreements. I don't have any expectations about trying to convert her or anything; she told me I'm the first Christian she's EVER met who hasn't told her she's "going to hell"! So sad that people have really turned her off to Christianity. I'm hoping to just be a friend and show her what following God should be - love for Him and for others - no self-righteous judgement. Anyways, we both got to meet our respective "men" and had a nice dinner and played Settlers of Catan, which for Ryan and I was fun. We haven't had anyone to play with down here since we moved.

As far as my noveling...well...it's going slowly. I'll give it a shot to try to do 20K from now until Sunday, listed as one of the goals from the ML I picked up at the write-in. There's still hope I could finish, but even if I get a good start, I won't be disappointed. This is further than I've ever been doing NaNo, and I still have a decent amount of ideas to get the story moving. We'll see how things pan out.

Hi guys, I've missed you. Sorry I've been AWOL. I read through and caught up on everything. Becky, thanks for letting me know about Cassie. She was in the first PeP book and a friend of mine, though I haven't kept in good touch.

DeeJay, how are things going with you?

So the reason I haven't been online as much is partially because I've still been needing to sleep 10-14 hours a day. The other reason is that lately I've been spending a lot of my online time with a certain special someone... who happens to be a guy named Andy. Jay knows him, actually. I know Jay and I have mentioned the online Bible study we're in with a group of young adults with chronic illnesses. Andy has been coming to it since February and in June my parents and I had dinner with him in Maryland when we were back there to see the specialist.

So we've been friends for quite a while and a couple months ago started getting closer and spending a lot of time talking... and then about a month ago he asked me out. It's a complicated relationship with it being long distance and both of us sick, but he's an awesome guy with a heart for God and a ton of fun. After 30 years of no serious relationships, it still feels really weird to think that I have a boyfriend, but is awfully special and fun. We have video dates... We've done a dinner date and dressed up and pretended we were in a restaurant, and tonight we watched a movie together. Pup, it was Firefly! Yes, I'm dating a nerd and if I wasn't fully one before I think I'm converted.

Would love prayer for our relationship that we can seek God first and that He'll give us wisdom.

What are you all doing for Thanksgiving? The family is coming over to our house. I'm very sad that my oldest sister and her three girls are all sick, so they won't be able to come. But my grandparents will be coming and my BIL will come by to pick up some food for the sick ones and then we might video chat with them so we can at least see them but without sharing germs.

Sparrow wrote:Hi guys, I've missed you. Sorry I've been AWOL. I read through and caught up on everything. Becky, thanks for letting me know about Cassie. She was in the first PeP book and a friend of mine, though I haven't kept in good touch.

DeeJay, how are things going with you?

So the reason I haven't been online as much is partially because I've still been needing to sleep 10-14 hours a day. The other reason is that lately I've been spending a lot of my online time with a certain special someone... who happens to be a guy named Andy. Jay knows him, actually. I know Jay and I have mentioned the online Bible study we're in with a group of young adults with chronic illnesses. Andy has been coming to it since February and in June my parents and I had dinner with him in Maryland when we were back there to see the specialist.

So we've been friends for quite a while and a couple months ago started getting closer and spending a lot of time talking... and then about a month ago he asked me out. It's a complicated relationship with it being long distance and both of us sick, but he's an awesome guy with a heart for God and a ton of fun. After 30 years of no serious relationships, it still feels really weird to think that I have a boyfriend, but is awfully special and fun. We have video dates... We've done a dinner date and dressed up and pretended we were in a restaurant, and tonight we watched a movie together. Pup, it was Firefly! Yes, I'm dating a nerd and if I wasn't fully one before I think I'm converted.

Would love prayer for our relationship that we can seek God first and that He'll give us wisdom.

I knew it, you & Andy!! LOL Ah-ha, I saw you all gussied up! She was looking all pretty and her face glowed. I'm happy for ya. Andy is no nerd.

I already had Thanksgiving my on 11/11.

A Blessed Thanksgiving to you all!

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

"Why sweat the small stuff when it's really not a big stink" - my quote