Then I looked, and to the right of the chicken was a monitor, and seven cameras fed in to the monitor. Then the voice inside my head said, "Who is worthy to review the replay?" But there was no one in heaven or on earth who wanted to look at the monitor. So I started to cry, because it looked to me as though the receiver had been pushed out of bounds.

The the voice said, "Do not cry. Behold, a touchdown was signalled, and the evidence to overturn the call is inconclusive." And there was great rejoicing in the desert, and there was great rejoicing by the bay, but the great harlot clothed in raiment of purple of gold, with horns upon its head, was dismayed.

Meanwhile there were wars and rumors of wars. The ruler of the land where the City of Angels lies, the land where Raiders and Chargers play, this ruler had a head of lead, a tongue of iron, and a heart of stone. The people cried out against him, and pulled him down, and put in his place a new leader with a head of iron, biceps of steel, and feet of confetti. Across the seas, the beast of Babylon was knocked off of his throne and then pulled from the pit, but not until the museum was trashed.

But as for the one who soars aloft like an eagle, and lands on aircraft carriers, he will rule for another time, two times, and at half-time he will address the nation.

The referees blew the whistle, and the teams gathered in their huddles. But the team that ran onto the field sooner than all the others, lo, they did not belong in the game. So there was confusion and heart-ache and another divided championship.