10 Witty Responses to Use the Next Time a Nosy Someone Asks When You're Having Kids

I get the question, "When are you going to have a baby?" more than I care for. Even when I wasn't single, people with children (yes, those are the usual suspects) wanted to know when I was getting knocked up. Fittingly, a Smitten regular also wrote in asking for ideas on how to respond to busybodies to shut them up. So this one's for you, girl.

Ironically, I couldn't resist the cuteness.

OK, I admit two or three of these may be too rude to say aloud, but as long as you're not talking to Sookie from True Blood, you can at least think 'em.

1. As soon as we learn how. Do you have any tips?

2. It's hard to hold a baby when you have one hand on the pole.

3. We're really not very good at sharing our food (sadly shaking head).

4. I'm not a fan of people (glare and hold for a beat)—especially the short ones.

5. We're still working out how to raise them to not ask stupid questions.

6. We want to see how yours turn out first.

7. I need a three-year nap first.

8. Our piggy bank is only half-full, and I heard they're expensive.

9. Why? Are you finally sick of talking about yours?

10. We're holding out for cloning.

Which ones do you like best? Can you think of a good one to add to the list?