28 September 2016

I wrote, recently, about the awful experience we had with
our older dog Bess. She is still in vet
care in Ipoh but is getting better and stronger all the time. Our vet hopes to move her back to her own
home soon.

While I was in Malaysia I was able to spend some time with
our other pets, with Perdie at the vet’s
home and with Kismet just a few hours in an office in KL before her flight to
Jeddah. She flew a few days before I
returned home and because Mr EE was at work she spent her first few hours in
Jeddah in the corner of his office. We
were worried this would stress her but she seemed quite happy to be among
people.

Kismet is settling in

We put all her things in a small room, our plan being to
allow her her own space to settle in and get used to the family again without
being overwhelmed by all the people in the house. We had instructed the children not to fuss
her and to leave her to settle. We needn’t
have worried one bit. Kismet sniffed at
a few bits and pieces that had been in the house in Malaysia and went straight
to the sofa to sit next to Mr EE and lick him to pieces. She clearly remembered him and was keen to
re-establish family bonds. She was happy
to see the children but wary of Mini EE who has grown an awful lot since they
last saw each other.

She has settled into family life as though she has never been away

When I arrived a few days later I found a house with a cat
who behaved as though it had always been her home, which, of course, it
has. Our family has been her home since
she was a little kitten and she clearly does not mind about the gap. Within minutes of my arrival she was sitting
on my knee and purring her distinctive, loud, motorcycle impression. We know dogs remember people they love for
their whole lifetimes, we were worried that cats would not. Clearly and happily, we were wrong.

As the days have gone on Kismet has become more independent and
less clingy. She has always been a house
cat and although she enjoys looking outside we are wary of letting her out incase
she gets into a fight. For her part she
talks, through the window, to cats that
visit the garden but has not asked to go outside. She slept on our bed the first few nights,
chasing our toes as we slept and curling up in the smalls of our backs. As time has marched on she prefers to sleep
downstairs and do the rounds of all the bedrooms for a few minutes every
night.

She talks to the local cats

Keeps us company in the evenings

As a house full of dog people that just happened to find
themselves with a cat Kismet has exceeded all our expectations as a pet. Clearly, unlike the dogs, she is self
sufficient and has not suffered from our absence in quite the same way. She loves us but does not need us. She is, however, genuinely good company. She talks to us, sits with us, plays games
and makes us laugh with her antics. 8
months older than when we had to say goodbye in Malaysia the worst excesses of
kittenhood are past and she is a calmer (though still mischievous) cat. Mr EE was away on a trip for most of last
week and her presence in the house made the evenings far less lonely.

Makes sure that we don't forget to pet her

and keeps us warm at night

People here, both expats and locals told us we were crazy to spend money importing a cat to Jeddah when there are so many here that we could adopt and then leave when we leave. We don't agree, we made a promise to a little lost kitten that we took into our home, we promised that we would be her home for the rest of her life and nothing short of a disaster would make us renege on that promise. Kismet has come home and her presence has, in turn, made our
house feel more like a home. We had not
quite realised how empty it was until she came to fill the ‘pet void’. We now need to try to get the papers in order
for Perdie and, if Bessie is strong enough, get the certificate reissued for
her so that we can finally be together again.

For more posts on expat pets please click the link below.

Posted on the Animal Tales link up hosted by Green and Rosie Life. Click the picture below for more pet posts.

17 September 2016

One of the biggest worries many expats have before arriving for their first time in Saudi Arabia is the issue of clothing. A lot of people assume that women have to cover up completely and that men can wear what the want. This is not quite true. The clothing rules are not quite as restrictive for women as many people think.

All women have to wear an abaya, this is close to a non negotiable. I have seen some women out and about in a long salwaar kameez but the only time I remove my abaya in public is when I get through passport control at the airport where the dress restrictions are more relaxed, even then I ensure that I am very covered.

I bought some cheap abayas before leaving
Malaysia and they have been honourably retired having done their job of getting
me from the plane to the house and out to the abaya shop. Made of cheap polyester they are hot beyond
belief. They were sold to me by a very
fashionable young Malay lady who spent most of the time trying to persuade me
to buy the neon pink and bright purple offerings instead of a black one and a
navy blue one. I resisted but I need not
have been so conservative. While hot
pink might be pushing it a little the women here in KSA do not always wear
black (at least in the costal cities, in Riyadh and other more conservative
places black is, I understand, still the norm).

Not only in black

When you go to the abaya shop you will be faced with a
bewildering array of options to choose from.
Here in Jeddah white and cream abayas are popular as are shades of blue
and purples, many are decorated with floral or geometric patterns. There are a huge range of
different styles to choose from, open front, wrap, butterfly, cape, umbrella,
the list is endless. During the summer light cottons, linens
and georgettes are more popular than the heavier fabrics. You can buy an abaya for no more than
about $20-30 but the quality of the cheaper ones is poor and they tend to be
made from very very hot material.
Designer offerings in silk are astronomically expensive but a good
variety of mid-range stuff is available in cool fabrics and pretty
designs. Abayas are sized by length in
inches from your shoulder to your ankle (or the floor). Most shops stock 58 as standard but will
order in a shorter one for you (or have it altered to your specification). Being short I take a 53 so I tend to have to
get them altered, this is generally done at no extra cost.

You can pick one up in a market shop for a reasonable price
but prepare to boil

Most of mine are ‘open front’ that close with popper buttons
and a belt. They look a little like a
cross between the academic gown I wore at university and my dressing gown which
is a strange thing to wander about in in public! Open abayas work well for
malls and air conditioned places and seem to be the most popular with our local
friends, that said I tend to prefer dresses to trousers so I have to make
certain that Mini EE does not indulge in her favourite hobby of popper button
opening when we are out and about. I have invested in a large volume of replacement poppers as the dratted things come off and roll away if you so much as look at them. I have
also bought some long dress like cotton abayas that I can wear on their own or
with just light cotton trousers when walking out and about.

Abayas are a way to showcase your sense of fashion when out and about
(NB the shops are shut for evening prayers hence the shutters)

A quick look at Saudi women shows that the extent to which
they wear what westerners would perceive as a ‘traditional’ abaya varies quite
a lot. The colour issue aside some
women’s abayas are not much more than a long, light coat in an array of colours
and left completely open while others are completely covered in black from head
to foot, even wearing gloves. Many expat
women dislike the abaya. I don’t resent
wearing it as such, (it means I am not going to get sunburn) but I do
resent the fact that I have no say in the matter (though I would probably wear an abaya or other
similarly modest clothing as a matter of courtesy even if not required to). That said everyone who comes to KSA knows the
rules and accepts them when they arrive.
Even Saudi women have a love/hate
relationship with their abayas, embracing what is good about the garment while
struggling with the problems it can create (tripping over, catching in
escalators, trailing sleeves, overheating etc).

As soon as you are through a door and into a private space
it is perfectly acceptable to remove your abaya as long as invited to do so by
your hosts (be guided by them). Most
women here will choose to do so although some will prefer to retain their headcovering
and/or their abaya, it is all a matter of personal preference.

Men also tend to dress conservatively and traditionally.

Head coverings are not obligatory for expats (Muslim or
otherwise) unless approached to cover by the muttawa (religious police), I try
to remember to always carry a scarf in my handbag so that I can cover up in the
event that I am asked but I have never yet been approached to do so. I know one long term expat whose husband was approached and told to get her to cover her head, once in the many years she has been here. As soon as the people who approached her had gone some local women approached her, apologised and invited her to remove it if she so wished. Saudi women wear a
head covering, ranging from the full niqab to a light scarf pushed back on the
head.

Young children are not subject to any clothing restrictions and
wear pretty much what they want. Like
women men are also required to dress ‘modestly’ but the interpretation of
‘modest’ is much more fluid. The
majority of Saudi men wear the traditional long white thobes together with
headdresses (thrown up on the head or behind the neck when indoors and used to
protect the face when out in the sun. On
special occasions the ensemble is topped with a light cloak known as a bisht
with sumptuous gold embroidery along the edges.
Some Saudi men prefer to wear western clothes, particularly at the
weekends and t shirts are not uncommon. Expat men are fine to wear normal suits or
typical leisure clothing. Western style shorts are not considered acceptable, you do see the odd western expat (and, very rarely, a Saudi man) wearing them out of the house or compound but it is very much the exception.

For more posts on life in Saudi Arabia please click on the picture below.

13 September 2016

I have not written a post about our pets for a long
time. Bessie and Perdie the dogs and
Kismet the cat had to stay in Ipoh, Malaysia when we moved to Jeddah and live
with a friend, our vet, while we waited for import permits.

Bessie, our oldest dog is a loved and loving member of the family.
We have missed her terribly.

A few weeks ago we got some excellent news, Bessie and
Kismet would be able to join us at the start of September. Perdie is still waiting for an import
permit. While we were a little sad that
our reunion with Perdita would be delayed a while longer we were over the moon
at the prospect of seeing Bessie and Kismet again. Bessie because, at 15 years old we know she
does not have much longer with us and Kismet because she was only 6 months old
when we had to leave her and we were worried that she had forgotten us.

Bessie before travelling to KL,
old but strong and healthy

We had some problems with Bessie’s export clearance. The government vet in KL reported that she
had ticks and needed to be cleaned.
Given that she had left our vet’s care tick free she can only have got
them at the very expensive and apparently recommended pet hotel in KL. We thought nothing of it as the handling
company said they would arrange treatment and it should not impact on her
travel date. The weekend before the pets
were due to arrive was hectic, our daughters celebrate their birthdays on 1 and
2 September so I had two lots of cupcakes to bake for the girls to bring into
class and then two cakes to bake for their joint birthday party.

After just a few days in KL, this is the photograph that gave us nightmares.
Tick fever was slowly killing our beloved dog.

During the party on the Saturday we got some very disturbing
news, Bessie had become very sick with an infection and was being sent for
blood tests. They sent us a photo of an
open and infected wound that had developed on a patch of dry skin on her
elbow. Stuck thousands of kilometres away
from our pet we started to become very worried.
At this stage, however the handling company were still talking about her
recovering and being well enough to fly with a few days delay, we thought they were being optimistic given the photographs but we did not think the condition was too serious. By the following day, however, her condition
had deteriorated very badly and the emergency vet said she would recommend that
Bessie be put to sleep. Our older children were distraught, Bessie has been with
them all their lives, friend and
confidante. Mr EE and I were
heartbroken, Bessie joined our family when we returned from honeymoon, our
first ‘baby’. I know owners are partial
but she has always been a very special dog. People who are scared of dogs still
want to pet her, with her fuzzy face she looks like the eponymous hero of the popular
Hairy MacClary children’s books. She has
comforted us and our family members during the hardest times of our lives and
given so many people so much joy. She
deserved much more than dying alone in a hospital in a strange city.

The so called luxury pet hotel ha allowed Bessie's
elbow to get wet and infected. How long did they wait
before seeking treatment for a wound to get this bad?

Without another thought we booked a last minute flight to
KL, I packed a carry on and went straight to the airport. Given the time difference I would be landing
late afternoon on Monday 5 September, the 15th anniversary of the
day Bessie came to live with us. I
emailed the hospital to ask them to do all they could to keep her alive until I
arrived. Our vet in Ipoh said she would
drive down to KL after work so she could also say goodbye to Bessie. I spent the flight alternately watching rubbish to try to
keep my mind off things and scrolling through photographs of Bessie praying that
I would get there in time. The flight
was almost empty which was a good thing because I must have looked demented
with tears streaming down my face the whole time. Without luggage I was able to speed through
immigration. Not knowing where the
hospital was and almost dropping with exhaustion I decided to get a taxi
instead of a rental car. The hospital gave
him directions and told me that Bessie was still holding on. They also offered to suspend their normal 15
minute visiting restrictions and allow me to spend as much time as I needed
with Bess.

Bessie was very sick and struggling to respond
when I found her.

When I arrived she was hooked up to a drip in a ward kennel. She was very sick but made an effort to lift her head when she saw
me, it crashed straight back down to the floor. I crawled in there with her, stroking her
head and holding her paw. Her breathing
was shallow and laboured and her heart hardly beat. She snuffled at the old socks I had brought
from Mr EE and the children, we wanted her to know that even though I was the
only one there, the others had not forgotten her and when we called Jeddah she stirred at the sound
of the voices at the other end of the phone.

After lots of cuddling (I lay in the cage with her)
She finally managed to take some water from her bowl.

I sat there for about 4 hours and in that time she seemed to
perk up a little. She was able to take
water from my hand and made small movements to try to push closer to me. It broke my heart, left for 8 months and she
still wanted nothing more than to be with me.
By the time my own vet had arrived Bess was able to lift her head enough
to take water from the bowl. We looked
through the medical tests, Bessie’s exposure to ticks had resulted in the
infection which was causing her organs to shut down, alone in a strange place
she had not had the will to fight. Our vet
thought that in more familiar surroundings Bess would perk up. She offered to take her back to her own
surgery and nurse her there, I could
visit until my return flight. While she
was sick the vet thought the move would not distress her any more than being
alone and would give her a chance of recovery, if she did not get better we could put her to sleep in comfortable surroundings.
Mr EE and I discussed it over the phone and decided that if the vet
thought it worth a try we would give it a go.
Suddenly a funeral trip had turned into a rescue mission. We put Bessie on some towels in the back of
the Drs car and she dropped me at a hotel before heading north.

I was relieved to see Kismet had not
suffered from her time in the hotel.

The next morning I found a hire car company and headed to
the handling company offices. Kismet was
there ahead of her flight and given the condition Bessie had been in I wanted
to check that she was ok, luckily she was fine and remembered me. The visit also gave me a chance to go through
a timeline of events and work out exactly what had happened as I want,
eventually to put in a complaint about the pet hotel.

Bessie still sick bu looking brighter for being with loved ones

By the time I got up to Ipoh Bess really was a lot brighter,
able to twitch her tail and take some liquid food. After spending some time with her the vet
took me to her home to visit Perdie, she had been a little down since Bessie
(who she sees as a mother) and Kismet left but gave me the most rapturous of
welcomes. She climbed in my lap, licked
my face and feet and pressed and leaned against me as though she never wanted
to let me go. If the hotel had allowed
dogs I would have taken her with me.

Perdie was over the moon to see me again

The following morning at the vets and Bessie looked like a different dog. She had crawled off her bed
in the night to do her business which was the first time we had seen her
interested in self care. She had taken
her cannula out and was licking the paw it had been in. Seeing her looking so much better we decided
to try her on solid food and gave her a meal of steamed chicken and rice. She was clearly hungry and I felt rather mean
limiting her to a few bites so as not to upset her stomach. Perdie was also happy to see me and we spent
a happy few hours playing and throwing balls and I spoiled her with the biggest
bone I could find.

Wednesday morning, moving around and with
some light in her eyes.

Perdie still happy to see me.

When I got back to
Bessie she was well enough to lick my hand and actively snuggle in to me. What a difference a few days and some love
can make. We don’t know yet whether she
will recover enough to be able to fly but if she does not our vet (who loves
her almost as much as we do) will keep her for us for as long as she
lives. Hopefully being in a loving
environment and having Perdie around will work wonders. If she does fly, and when Perdie does, we
will pay to have the pets transported to and from Ipoh to KL for vet checks and
for the final flight, there is no way they will ever go to that pet hotel again
and I will put in a formal complaint to the Malaysian authorities, the vet, who
sits on several animal cruelty advisory boards will help me. My pet may be 15
years old but she is still loved and her life still has value, they
neglected her until she became sick all the time charging me money for their ‘care’.

Brighter by the minute

I almost did not want to leave on Thursday as I could see how much my presence meant to Bessie but I had to leave to get my flight. Just before I left she stood up and was able to take a short walk outside to do her business. An improvement beyond anything we could have hoped for. We are not stupid, we know that at 15 Bessie could go at any time but we want her to be with people who love her and to give her every chance. We are beyond grateful to the vet and so thankful that this happened in a country we could get to without visa problems. Had this happened in Saudi, for example, or Kazakhstan we would never have been able to get to the dog. I am also so proud of Master EE who, without prompting or rancour, gave up is chance to join his school trip to New York, so that I could fly to Malaysia to be with Bessie.

Saying goodbye to Perdie

Just a few days after we thought she
would need to be put to sleep Bessie can stand!

The house in Jeddah is lovely and we are
turning it into a home but it has always felt as though it is missing
something. Being with the dogs again
made me realise that we are missing them, we have always had dogs and I don’t
think any of us feel that a house can really be a home without a pet in
it. They clearly feel the same way about
us. That feeling was somewhat tempered
when I walked through the door to see Kismet playing with the children, she
makes the house a happier place by her presence and we hope one or both of our
dogs can join us soon.

For more information and stories on expat pets please click the picture below.

About Me

I am a no longer 30 something global soul, a perpetual expat. I was born in the Netherlands to a Dutch/Irish Family. Since then I have lived in Norway, Nigeria, Turkey and Venezuela. I went to school and university in the UK. We decided to have an adventure and took our children and the dog(s) to live abroad, first to Kazakhstan and then to various locations in Malaysia. Our current home is in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
This blog is about how we muddle through daily life as expats and how things have changed from the adventures of my childhood.