Youth Sports

I am excited to be headed to Waco, TX later this week to take part in Baylor University’s Symposium on Faith and Culture which has chosen as its theme this year, “The Spirit of Sports.” I look forward to spending time with a friend in Dallas and exploring many facets of the relationship between sports and the Church. On Saturday morning I will be presenting a paper entitled, “Pastoral and Theological Implications of the Youth Sports Industrial Complex.” This has proven to be a good exercise in trying to simplify the message I want to present to churches and youth ministries regarding their relationships to the world of youth sports.

Eventually, I will upload the entire paper under the “Stuff I’ve Written” tab, but in this post I will provide a brief overview of what I’ll be presenting. My focus is on the local church, and it is especially relevant for those who work in youth ministry. While young people are involved in a wide variety of extracurricular activities, it’s no secret that youth sports is by far the most popular. And for most youth ministers, they prove to be the most challenging to work around. Most youth ministers I’ve talked with seem to be at a loss of language in trying to articulate what exactly is at risk in their youth’s hyper-involvement in sports. More often than not, they dismissively shrug their shoulders and complain that sports takes their teens away from youth group activities and church services and makes them feel like they are fighting a losing battle.

After all, sports can promote healthy lifestyles and physical activity in a generation facing an obesity epidemic, reinforce qualities like team work and self discipline that serve as important life skills, and immerse children in positive social environments where they can grown and mature their interpersonal skills. The benefits of youth sports are well documented, so for the Church to explore any shortcomings may seem like nothing more than a needless exploration of “too much of a good thing.” In response to this, I believe that the Church as a whole, and youth ministry in particular, is in a dire need of a more robust theology to help address the many complex realities of youth sports.

Too often, the Church has attempted to wrestle with the many practical issues that sports presents: performance-enhancing drugs, injuries, cheating, etc. without first establishing a robust theological foundation from which to build. This has left our message anemic, at best, or completely absent, at worst. I want to propose three theological areas from which the Church can begin to build this more robust understanding of sports and, subsequently, begin to provide a more effective pastoral voice to the families of youth athletes.

1 – The Rhythm of Life

Simply complaining that kids are too busy to do anything with their youth group is a shallow argument from frustrated youth ministers. While weekend out-of-town tournaments have made it impossible for many families to maintain a healthy connection with a local church family, the busyness of youth sports is about more than “being at church.” The schedules of sports families are low hanging fruit in what frustrates most youth ministers. We should be cautious, however, that our frustration over sports schedules isn’t simply a hidden jealousy that they’re cheating on us with their sports team. Something more significant must be considered.

The words of Ecclesiastes rings a little differently in today’s sports-obsessed world than it did in Old Testament times: “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I don’t think he was talking about sports seasons! More to the point here, the writer reinforces the beauty and need for balance in our lives. Balance was built into the very fabric of Israel. Work six days, then rest. Work six years, then rest a year. The rest was for the citizens, for the animals, and for the land. Balance is built into the very fabric of creation itself. That’s the problem with most youth sports today. We talk about sacrifice, commitment, and all that. But is that simply another way of excusing our imbalance? More than questioning how often our sports families are attending a worship service any given Sunday, we should be asking the more dynamic question: What is dictating the rhythm of their family’s life?

2 – The Formation of Identity

Perhaps the crucial developmental aspect of adolescents is their identity formation. The many environmental influences on a young man’s or young woman’s life begins to really show their impact as teenagers are answering that question, “Who am I?” Sports has an interesting role in this whole process. Many young people who excel in a particular sport find acceptance and popularity there that they cannot find anywhere else. Just think about the life that the starting quarterback lives in high schools across the country. Particularly in those situations, their sport becomes a very significant part of their identity formation.

This aspects of youth sports isn’t inherently bad, however often times the identity youth find in sports is the very identity they are intended to have in Christ. In Galatians 3, Paul emphasizes the importance of finding our identity solely in Christ – beyond racial, sexual, and socioeconomic terms. It seems silly to extend those core aspects of identity to sports – until you watch a college or professional sporting event. The painted chests, dyed hair, and voracious chants are visual reminders of the identity-forming power of sports. I believe it has become common place for many people to find their identity primarily in sports and allow that to dictate their participation in their faith.

3 – Theology of the Body

While I haven’t presented these three in any particular order, this may be the best starting point for moving forward in our ministries of sports. Too many parachurch organizations and sports ministries have treated sports as a neutral entity and have seen it simply as an effective way to draw a crowd so the Gospel can be shared. Unfortunately, this reinforces a dualism that has long pervaded Christianity. Although it may sound like metaphysical mumbo jumbo to say that the Platonic dualism has led to an unnecessarily negative view of the body, there are, in fact, significant, practical consequences.

When sports are viewed as simply a means to an end, we have a tendency to ignore the ethic and practice of the sport. One example illustrates this well. What is the Christian to do with competition? Competition is at the heart of athletics (not to mention America itself) and yet serious theological reflection on competition is almost impossible to find. As a result, we have a difficult time knowing how to teach our children to compete in a Christian fashion, because we’re not exactly sure ourselves. By and large, I haven’t seen much difference between what Christians expect from sports than what anyone else expects.

I believe that the way forward begins with a better articulated theology of the body. We need to teach our children about the beauty in sports and have serious conversations about the challenges of reconciling the Sermon on the Mount and competitive arenas.

Much more needs to be said on these matters, but I believe that if we could just take as a beginning point, these three theological areas and dedicate some time we will be more prepared for the many challenges that lie ahead in the world of youth sports. I hope to continue to refine this message and find ministers and youth ministers who have a passion for filling in this much-too-neglected area.

We’ve all heard those stories of famous athletes who became a public goat following a highly public sports gaffe. One of the most heinous examples was that of Colombian soccer player Andes Escobar who, during a 1994 World Cup match against the United States accidentally scored in his own goal and was murdered two weeks after returning to Colombia. While the Escobar incident is notoriously one of the most extreme examples, there have been countless examples of fans threatening to harm or even kill athletes for their shortcomings in big sports moments.

No one represents the fallen athlete in American sports as much as former Major League Baseball player, Bill Buckner. Buckner had a highly successful major league career that lasted over 20 years. He collected over 2,700 hits and even won a batting title in 1980 while playing for the Chicago Cubs. Buckner, however, is best known for missing a routine ground ball in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series at Fenway Park while a member of the Boston Red Sox.

Like many of these big time sports goats, Buckner was sent death threats and this one error came to define his career – quite unfortunate when you consider how good of a career he truly had.

It would seem as though the majority of spectators and fans of sports are stable enough to resist sending death threats to athletes or harming those who make mistakes (though attending some youth sports games can make a person begin to wonder). These extreme cases, however, do reveal a troubling characteristic with which most sports fans are forced to wrestle. Team sports has a tendency to dehumanize its participants. Athletes wear uniforms of the same color in order to set themselves apart from the other team who wear a different uniform. Spectators in the stands wear their teams’ colors. We feel camaraderie with our team. And many of the sociological traits that are present in the concept of mob mentality permeate sports venues. We feel a hyper connectivity with fellow fans. So we high five strangers after our team scores a touchdown. We scream and yell for our team to succeed. And we root against the other team.

And there happens to be a fine line between cheering for our team and rooting against the other team. You see this happen when a player gets injured. I will assume the humanity in all fans – that there is a pang of empathy for any injured player and an authentic hope that he or she is OK, but if we are completely honest, doesn’t the empathy seem to come a little more quickly when it’s one of “our” players? In this split-second pause, we are confronted by the major challenges that sports presents us.

All the time I hear aggressive parents encouraging their children to play harder and stronger and faster and . . . there is the slightest feeling that they want to take that other team – or player – “down.” Taking them down is part of the game! If we can’t all win – someone has to lose. And we’d just all assume it would be “them ” lose instead of us. And, ever so subtlety, we feel ourselves hoping, not just that we win, but that they lose. Just watch a parent when their child is playing a team with a player who is significantly better than all the other players. They can easily find themselves rooting for that player’s failure as much as their own child’s success. It’s the same feeling we get when we are playing a game when we know that it is impossible to win. Those are difficult emotions to process.

Which is one of the reasons why sports is so great. It offers us a relatively safe environment to experience these feelings of aggression and inadequacy. It offers us a playground to try out feelings and emotions that are every bit as relevant to the workplace and the real world as they are to the sports contest itself.

Throughout all of our experiences in sports – whether we are playing them or watching them – we must remember to humanize the event. While we are watching our children playing a game, it is not another team they are playing against, it is another group of boys and girls with different personalities, gifts, challenges, and experiences. Maybe that player is a jerk because his family life is in shambles. Maybe that coach is over-the-top because she struggles mightily with her self image. Maybe that parent is so boisterous because he and his wife are going through a divorce. Maybe that official made a bad call because he got fired the day before and his mind isn’t completely in the game.

It seems like a simple enough task, but our passion for sports makes remembering the humanity of the players more challenging than it seems like it would be. When our rival team hires a new coach, we don’t wonder about his family life or his off-the-field demeanor. We just don’t like him and hope he is unsuccessful. When a player from the other team takes a cheap shot on our child or one of their teammates, we don’t wonder how she does in school or whether she is loved at home – we just hope our daughter will get her back somehow.

Sports are at their best when we humanize them – when we remember that sports are created for all of us to enjoy. Sports journalism illustrates how this works when they give the back story to players we watch on television. They serve as a reminder of the humanity of the players. They remind us that there is more to life than sports, and while we all know that, in the heat of the moment, it can be hard to keep that in mind.

It’s kind of like when my children see one of their teachers outside of the school. They have a difficult time processing the fact that their teachers have any life at all outside of the school building. Most elementary school children have trouble imaging their teachers ever leave the school building. Everyone always gets a good laugh out of this when we meet them outside of school. It seems to me, this is the same thing that happens in sports. The sports figures are there for our enjoyment and our pleasure and it is easy for us to forget that they leave the field, arenas, and gyms too. They have other lives besides what we see. Remembering this fact will help us keep sports in their proper place.

It was January 11, 1987. I was seven and a half years old. It was Cleveland, Ohio. And it was the first time that Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway slowly and painfully ripped out the hearts of Cleveland Browns fans everywhere. It became known as “The Drive. ” [All Browns fans close your eyes, others can watch this link.] While playoff aspirations have been a distant memory for the Cleveland Browns over the past two decades, during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s the Browns had incredibly talented and wildly successful football teams, though the Super Bowl would remain elusive.

I live in Columbus and love the Ohio State Buckeyes, but I think my first love will always be the Cleveland Browns. They have been so bad for so long that I wish it wasn’t true, but the beginning of every football season reminds me of my first love. I attended several Browns games during this era, and the images of old Cleveland Municipal Stadium remain ensconced among my greatest memories. It was during this era of heartbreak that I actually attended a regular season game against the Elway-led Broncos. The success of the future Hall of Fame quarterback wasn’t respected or appreciated among Browns fans during those years – to say the least. Instead I remember jeers raining down from the stadium making fun of anything and everything the inebriated crowd could mumble out together. One of the first cheers I ever remember hearing at a professional football game was “Elway’s a faggot.” As a kid, I joined right in the jeering and cheering against this arch rival.

In sports, there’s a fine line between cheering for a team or player, and cheering against another team or player. It maybe a reality that we Cleveland fans can appreciate more than most people. The Indians and Browns last won world championships long before I was born, so there’s been plenty of time to root against other teams and their successes. And what Cleveland fan didn’t root against South Beach LeBron? It’s part of the fun, really. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find at least some delight in the recent faltering of Michigan’s football program. After all, they are our rival! My son has a sign in his room that says, “My favorite two teams are Ohio State, and whoever is playing Michigan!” My two favorite teams have been doing pretty good lately!

I’ve been thinking a lot about rivalry lately. There has been no better case study for what rivalry does to a person than Ohio State’s recent hiring of Urban Meyer. Now, Urban Meyer is an Ohio guy – something that people in the South seem to forget. He was born in Toledo, grew up in the Lake town of Ashtabula, attended the University of Cincinnati, and had his first head football coaching position at Bowling Green State. His rise to prominence in college football was profuse, immediately finding success at every school he has coached for. However, it was at the University of Florida where he achieved the highest level of success, winning two national championships.

The culmination of the 2006 football season found Meyer’s Gators taking on the Ohio State Buckeyes. I remember watching and listening to Urban Meyer in the weeks leading up to the game. I remember thinking how much of a pompous ass he was. I remember how much I didn’t care for his demeanor and his cut-throat mentality (he has a reputation for running up the score on lesser opponents). Compared to the buttoned-up, senatorial, humble ethos of Ohio State’s coach Jim Tressel, Urban Meyer was an arrogant prick. And that arrogant prick helped kick my team’s behind in one of the more lopsided national championships you will ever see. Which made me hate him all the more.

In the year’s following Meyer’s championships at Florida (they won again in 2008), he had some serious health concerns that eventually led to his resignation at the end of 2010. I can honestly say that I’ve never wished ill on anyone, including my rivals, but I can say without reservation that I wasn’t heartbroken to see him leave Florida and football altogether.

There’s a lot of different sides to this complex story, but the thing I want to focus on for a minute is the strange situation it put us in as Ohio State fans. Everyone I knew thought he was the perfect person for the job. There wasn’t a better candidate. But, man, once you’ve rooted against someone, it’s hard to just forget that and move on. I still thought he was a pompous ass.

It’s interesting how quickly, my feelings about him began to thaw. You know, he looks pretty good in scarlet and gray. Now he was talking to the people of Ohio. Now . . . you know what? . . . he wasn’t too bad of a guy after all. Still intense. Still kind of cocky. But don’t you want that for your coach? Then the magical season that was 2014, and the Buckeyes won the first ever college football playoff, and the entire state of Ohio has forgotten all about Jim Tressel. Well, not forgotten, more like forgiven.

While this is the extreme case, every sports fan knows this feeling. It happens all the time in baseball. In the middle of the season, teams out of contention trade their good players to teams in contention, and the next thing you know, a player you cheered so hard against, is wearing your team’s colors. It’s heretical to even think about it, but if the Browns had been led by John Elway instead of Bernie Kosar, maybe the Browns have all the success that the Broncos would come to have. It’s just impossible to picture him in their colors.

I’ve come to realize that sports displays a microcosm of life when it comes to identity. We identify with our team. We wear their colors, familiarize ourselves with their traditions, and we feel a part of them. As a matter of fact, it isn’t them – it’s us. While watching from the inactivity of our couch, we stand and shout, “We won!”

What helps us forge our identity is knowing that we are not them. Rivalry can betray humanity. For the jeering fans in the 1980’s and 1990’s in Cleveland, John Elway wasn’t a person. He was a quarterback. He was a Bronco. He was a football player. But he wasn’t human. He wasn’t a husband or a father or a son and didn’t have a soul. When Urban Meyer was pacing the sidelines in Gainesville, FL I saw no humanity in him. I just saw someone who was better than me and my team and who made my skin crawl.

Over the next six years, Urban Meyer will make on average $6.5 million each year. Celebrity Net Worth reports that John Elway’s net worth is over $145 million. In the world of high profile sports, I think most people would be able to put up with the mean-spirited fans and mudslinging rivals. I’m not saying it excuses it; I’m just saying that no one is feeling bad for these millionaires.

However, this reality isn’t limited to the highest levels of sports. It was early on in my son’s baseball career when I realized how conflicted I would be when it comes to his success. If the bases are loaded and there are two outs and the game is tied and my son is up to bat, what is the right outcome to hope for? Do I hope he throws a ball and my son draws the winning RBI? Do I pray for a meat ball right down the middle that I know my son can smash? How do I root him on, without wishing ill on the other team or player? Could it be that the other team needs a win more than our team at the grandest scheme of life? Could it be that the kid in that illustration would be much more greatly blessed with a strike out than my son would be with a walk off hit?

It’s when the discussions of rivalry hit the local level with youth sports that I think we really begin to get into the heavy conversations. My next blogpost will begin to deal with the challenge of balancing rooting for your child’s success while not rooting against the success of others.

One of the staples of college football Saturdays for over 25 years has been the television show College Gameday on ESPN. College football fans across the country begin each Saturday morning with ESPN’s table-setting program that helps introduce the narratives underlying the match ups each week. The banter bounces from heartfelt, off-the-field, journalistic stories that highlight athletes who have overcome family issues, health obstacles, and poverty to on-the-field match ups that often fuel regional debates about which conference is better, who’s the best player in the country, and whose schedule is more challenging.

Each week the show travels to a different college town that’s hosting that week’s “big” game. The hometown students and fans come out by the thousands to listen to the pundits banter back and forth and to try to get their two seconds on television. The success of the show can directly be attributed to the unique atmosphere and social cohesion that college football provides. The television show piggybacks on the passion of the fans and the traditions unique to each school giving free publicity to a different school each week.

My favorite sign from last year made by Harvard students

Throughout the years, the easiest way for students in the crowd to get on the camera has been to create catchy, funny, and edgy signs which they hold up in the background. In recent years ESPN has even capitalized on this whimsical tradition by having the public vote for their favorites. (You can see the weekly winners of last year here.) Mixing together the passion of college students with their sophomoric, hormonal inclinations, it is not surprising to find a large number of inappropriate signs being held aloft each Saturday. My guess is that they’re always in the market for camera men and women with quick eyes and quick hands to pan away from the most offensive.

This past Saturday, Gameday was in Tuscaloosa for the big Alabama-Ole Miss football game, and two signs in particular have created quite a stir. The first sign calls Ole Miss girls “easy,” and the second pokes fun at Ohio State’s head coach Urban Meyer and his health concerns from a few years ago.

ESPN took flack for the first sign before GameDay was even over, and Urban Meyer’s wife and daughter tweeted GameDay taking exception to the implications of the other sign (which GameDay had tweeted a picture of saying it was the most Retweeted (and Appropriate) sign from Saturday’s broadcast).

“All of this was done in good, clean fun!” I’m sure the creators of these signs would argue. How many times has that statement been used as an excuse for some kind of misunderstanding? After all – it’s just sports, right? I know as well as anyone – we’ve all got our own sense of humor. Some things one person finds hilarious, another finds offensive. I often find a great deal of humor in these signs as creative college students try to outwit one another, and there’s always a fine line one walks between being edgy and being offensive.

As is usually the case, however, there is something deeper going on here that I felt was worth a few blogposts. In this first post, I want to focus on sports and rivalry at the highest levels, then I will look at what rooting against teams and people can do to our identity, and finally shift gears and talk about the implications that this has in youth sports.

Rivalry is one of the great things about sports. Few would argue that sports would be better without Ohio State versus Michigan. Army versus Navy. Harvard versus Yale. Duke versus North Carolina. Cowboys versus Redskins. Yankees versus Red Sox. Celtics versus Lakers. Steelers versus Browns. (Sorry if I missed yours!) These rivalries take on a life of their own. They are all bigger than the game themselves. Professional sports leagues try to create rivalries with newer teams to help deepen the narrative for fans. We have bulletin boards where we can talk trash to other fans. We make cartoons. We make jokes. We have the Dead Schembechlers. (They epitomize rivalry – check them out). We create College Gameday signs.

One of the things that rivalries do is help remind us of who we aren’t, and by default help further deepen our own identity. If alma maters and marching bands and stadium-wide cheers are intended to remind us of who we are, rivalries help articulate who we aren’t. I live in Columbus, OH so the rivalry I am most familiar with is Ohio State and Michigan. Woody Hayes famously went for two in a blowout game and when asked why he did it he said, “Because I couldn’t go for three.” Urban Meyer recently made a student to 20 push ups in class for wearing blue. When Brady Hoke was hired as Michigan’s coach he would only refer to Ohio State as Ohio. During Michigan-week in Columbus, a local store will let you trade in a blue article of clothing (which they donate to charity) for a “Beat Michigan” tee shirt. All of this serves to build the community. To remind us that we are Buckeyes – and Michigan still sucks! But . . . as the signs from this past weekend remind us, the drive to define ourselves against someone else is often problematic.

In the next blogpost, I want to consider the hiring of head football coach Urban Meyer by the Ohio State University and discuss how it illustrates the way identity formation works within the community of sports fans. How can fans of Ohio State so deftly embrace the same Urban Meyer who coached the University of Florida when they defeated (no destroyed!) Ohio State in the national championship several years ago? How has our impression of him changed? How do we see him differently? And, correspondingly, how has the impressions of Florida fans changed? Are these perspectives rooted in reality or is something else going on? I think there are answers in these questions and others that help point out the challenges and quandaries that rivalries and rooting against other teams and players creates for Christians.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a Monday evening that looked like this: I dropped my son off for football practice at 6:00, then drove half way across town for my weekly football officials meeting at 7:00, then drove all the way back across town to have a meeting with a couple of other dads at 8:30 where we talked about the possibility of putting together a new baseball team next summer for our sons.

Just today, I was sent video from our Friday night game last week to review and find mechanics to work on for our game tomorrow night. I am part of a pick ’em college football pool that some friends at church and I have done for several years, and I had to get my picks in before tonight’s game. I have a middle school game to officiate at 5:30 so I’m going to try and get a run in before that, my daughters have dance classes all night so my wife will be shuttling them back and forth, my son has football practice again tonight, so we’ll need a friend to help run him back and forth to it, and, when I finally get home, I’ll probably try to catch a few minutes of the Michigan – Utah college football game . Luckily the Indians are off , so I can resume my attention to their post-season push tomorrow night.

When I was doing research for my dissertation, I came across a reporter who said something to the effect that keeping busy sports schedules has become a kind of success gauge for suburban parents. A busy sports schedule has become a kind of insinuated mark of accomplishment. The busier your kids are in their sports, the better athletes they must be. Living, working, and ministering in the suburbs, I overhear countless parents lamenting their children’s busy sports schedules. About how they never have dinner together anymore. About how they drive hours on the weekends and live out of hotels several times a year. About how expensive the team has become. About how much money they spend on equipment. About how competitive the other teams are.

And, almost with exception, they all sound trapped. Oftentimes I’ll hear the caveats, “But what are you going to do?” or “That’s the cost of being blessed with an athletic son or daughter;” or “That’s just how sports are nowadays;” and my favorite, “Just wait until your kids are older.”

Well, my kids are getting older, and I’ve taken sports on as a kind of special cause towards which I intend to dedicate a great deal of time and energy as my wife and I seek the best direction for their sports and academic upbringing. I don’t have a lot of answers – but I can look around the landscape of youth sports and identify a great many problems. My hope is that we can begin to address some of these problems in the lives of our children and work towards better practices in the future.

As I began to study sports and the relationship that we have with sports, I was drawn to a particular story from the New Testament involving Jesus and his disciples. At the end of Mark 2, Jesus and his disciples are out picking up heads of grain in the fields (the Old Testament has a provision that farmers leave the grains that fall onto the ground during harvest for poorer citizens to come and pick up and eat.) In that regard, Jesus and his disciples were doing nothing wrong. However, the fact that it was the Sabbath was cause for concern among the religious leaders. “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” (Mark 2: 24)

The disciples were picking up the grains because they were hungry. Jesus had them running a pretty busy schedule the other six days of the week. Here, they paused to eat some of the grain in the fields. The Pharisees, however, had a pretty established code of ethics for keeping the Sabbath commandment, however. Remembering the Sabbath and keeping it holy was a big deal – one of the Ten Commandments! And so they outlined what would be considered work, and what wasn’t. Going through the fields and picking up leftover grain definitely was work, in their books.

Essentially, what God’s followers managed to do, was to take something that was created for their benefit (Sabbath) – something that would ensure they wouldn’t be overworked, and wouldn’t overwork the land – something that would make sure they took time to enjoy life, and they turned it into something that was oppressive and yet another burden. They spent all their time of rest, worried about whether or not they were resting the “right” way. In one of Jesus’ more pointed rebukes he states: “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2: 27).

I haven’t been able to shake the connection of this teaching of Jesus’ to our practice of sports in the world today. I wonder if Jesus wouldn’t say the same thing about sports. Sports were created for our enjoyment – for our leisure. They were intended to bring families together – now, they rob most families of their family time. They were intended to help maintain healthy bodies, and while there is an obesity epidemic that largely needs positive practices of sports – at the same time, there is a growing lists of ailments and overuse injuries witnessed in younger and younger athletes. They were intended to foster a spirit of camaraderie and unity – now, they often ostensibly support teamwork and team spirit, but often fuse with a competitive dog-eat-dog spirit that sows further dissension.

There’s no quick fix or easy answer for wrestling with the intricately, complex world of youth sports. However, I think a first step in the right direction is to remember Jesus’ words regarding the Sabbath. Every parent and young athlete alike should ask themselves the question, “Does my participation in this system still allow for me and/or my child to fulfill the goals of leisure and enjoyment sports should help embody?” “Do I feel stuck and enslaved to a sport, a team, a coach, or a league?” Admittedly, there is a fine line between committing to compete at a high level, and selling ourselves to the sport itself. My fear is that few of us are genuinely wrestling with these issues at all and would do well to seriously ask ourselves these two questions.