Friday, August 31, 2012

Anyone that knows me in real life... especially my parents and Hubs can tell you, I have absolutely zero patience. I have never had any, not when I was a newborn, a toddler, a child, a teen, a young adult... and still, I have none now. I am not really sure why, and I am not really sure how, but it is something I am working on. Though most of the time I can translate it into being a positive there are times that it is not good. Sometimes it adds stress where stress is not necessary and when I get stressed, I get even more impatient and, well, you get the picture.

I think one of the biggest issues that people have with working out and "dieting" (for the record I hate that word now when used in that context and almost cringe when I write it), is that they want immediate results. With the workout, they want to walk into the gym, pick up the weights or run on the treadmill and in a two week time period see results. They want to spend a week eating a "low carb" diet and drop 2 pant sizes... they want to walk around wearing shape up sneakers for a month and have "toned legs" that they claim to magically give you, when in reality... its just not that simple. In this case you HAVE to have patience. You have to have dedication and you have to have faith that the results will come with proper training and diet.

I will be the first person to admit that I stood in the mirror more times that I can count over the years just thinking "man, why isnt this working." With all the "fad" diets that I tried... all those endless workouts and new routines at my globo gym, it just seemed like no matter what I tried I was never going to get where I wanted to be... and I would give up. I would never have the patience to let whatever I was trying to actually work. All of that changed after first few weeks of crossfit and paleo. I was in the right place in my mind at the right time (que Wednesdays post) and I was going to be patient with this one. I had a gut feeling I knew what I was doing was going to work. But I knew it wasnt going to happen over night and I knew it was going to take every bit of patience that I had in me. Let me tell you something. It paid off, it is still paying off.

My workouts have come along the same as transitioning to the paleo lifestyle. I have learned to be patient, that its not going to come overnight. There are always going to be ups and downs, but with patience and time I will be right where I want to be. Its important to celebrate where I am now, and what I am doing. I will have time to celebrate those future "things" when they happen. Because they will happen. Double unders... do you think those were "easy..." um no, there were more pissing matches with that damn jump rope (still a little hostility there) than I can count, but I have to keep my faith and have patience that it would come. If I had just given up... well than, I never would have gotten them would I? Its so important to remember that.

Now, where my being impatient comes in handy... that's the trick here. That right there is what really helps my drive. When there is something I want, I am going to work my ass off to get there. How can I give up sugar? How can I all of a sudden drop nuts out of my diet? How can I get up at 4:45 every morning? How can I withstand the foods I used to crave? How can I work what seems like endlessly on an exercise that I suck at or cant do yet? Because I know if I do it, or keep working on it, I will have results. Developing my patience for these things it makes it easier for me to understand when I fail I have to keep going... however, my impatient side says "keep the eff going, you are almost there."

This morning after the WOD I worked on my handstand pushups again. They released the standards for the movements for Garage Games first 3 WODs and I saw that the handstand pushups will be outside, with two 35lb plates and one abmat...

This made me at ease, but last night I had worked on them with 15lb plates not 35lb plates. There is a little more of a deficit here when your head is on the abmat... So, after the WOD I was back to work at the wall for some more HSPU action. To my own surprise, I was good. I was consistent and connecting reps!! In this case my being "impatient" has allowed me to progress from 2 abmats down to none in just two weeks!!

Having said all that, I wouldnt try this without the proper supervision and coaching... pushing yourself and challenging yourself is one thing, but you have to be sure that you are able to do these things strength wise to be sure that you will not injure yourself. K and I were discussing after the fact and I understood that for me, strength was not the issue, form was the issue. I needed to get the technique down. K and M would never have encouraged me to make that quick of a drop if they didnt think that I was strong enough to handle it. So please please please be careful and even if you want to move out of your comfort zone, dont put yourself in danger.

What it comes down to is the fact that I really should have started reducing my ambats a long time ago, I just got comfortable using them as a crutch and pushing through the workouts without really working on my form on them. Once I really started to work on my form and think about the movement as a whole I was able to put it all together.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I was feeling pretty nostalgic yesterday and decided to look
back at some of my old posts. I am so happy that I started writing as soon as I
started crossfit. Not only is it nice to go back and be able to see my weights
and times of previous workouts, but I also can really go back into my own mind
when I wrote those posts and feel those feelings all over again. I can remember
what each one of those feelings were like including every struggle and every accomplishment.
Its almost like I can look back and relive what I went through and use it as
fuel to keep moving forward. For every struggle I had, I had a learning
experience and for every PR I had a humbling moment, its pretty cool to have a
written reminder of that.

Yesterday was a struggle day. I was so extremely happy with
myself that I had got my ONE handstand pushup that I totally passed over the
fact that I did all those squats… and the entire second WOD. I took some time
to reflect on that when I got home and re-read what I wrote about. I certainly had a frustrating workout, but I didn’t
let it bog me down. I have to say, in about 90% of my prior writing and
experiences with CrossFit this has been a pretty common thread. I have never
let one workout get me down, I used it as fuel to make the fire burn higher and
brighter. The next time I was going to kick some ass.

Looking back keeps me in check. Reminds me where I started
and how far I have come.From the woman
who would literally be in tears in the fitting room of any given store because
I just cant stand the way anything fit on my body… to the woman who if
something doesn’t fit, just puts it down and moves on. My body is my work, I
have control and I am proud of what I have done. If the clothes don’t fit… too
bad. I will find something! From the woman who finished a block jog when we
were at the garage, huffing and puffing, having no idea if it was ever going to
get better… to the woman who is willingly running 3 miles every Thursday night
for “active recovery.” From the woman who would be in such a pissy mood ever
single Saturday while Hubs dragged her to the gym… to the woman who is up and
ready to leave for the gym on a Saturday at 8:30am, who feels like something is
completely missing if the gym is missed. So very much haschanged in the last year, I will never forget
where I came from… and I will never go back there.

It may not look like it, but I love those days (like
yesterday) when I struggle to get something that I know deep down inside that I
can get. I love that feeling of putting it all out on the table and struggling
to reach the finish line. Even if the results aren’t exactly what I want them
to be sometimes. I was talking to Hubs the other night about this person in my
life… they are pretty miserable, pretty negative about a lot of things. I am
finding myself trying to figure out why, if they are so miserable, why don’t they
do something about it? It really hits home with me because I was that person. I
was in that place. I was miserable and I was taking it out on everyone else.
God, I don’t know how people wanted to be around me! However, I am living proof
that there is way to get out of that funk. If you are not happy, if you are not
where you want to be in life… only YOU can get yourself there. It takes time,
it takes work… but its totally worth it.

When I talk to someone who is just starting out crossfit or
paleo my first sentence (after they say they are nervous, but excited and ready
to commit) is “just remember, everyone starts somewhere.” This I think is one
of the hardest things to overcome when starting out. Even people who have been
crossfitting for a long time look at others and strive for their successes… but
you have to remember that whether someone is doing scaled pullups with a band
or someone is doing butterfly pullups… everyone is working just as hard
(assuming everyone is putting it all on the table). Everyone has goals and most
people started where everyone else does. When starting Paleo you hear the
infamous “I don’t know I will ever give up sugar…” only to hear two weeks later
if the person fully commits “holy shit, this really worked!” The results are
more than enough to keep you moving forward, you just have to start. You just
have to get over that hump… release the fear, release the idea that you have to
be better than everyone else. Compete with yourself.

I have been chatting with one of my new friends at CFW. She
is a rockstar and has totally embraced everything that crossfit has taught me…
pretty much just as fast as I learned it! She gives 100% and has committed 100%
to making a drastic change in her life. She trusts the ideas and fundamentals
behind crossfit and paleo lifestyle and it has already begun to change her
life. Her words are so refreshing and she
has given me permission to share… “Its sort of weird...like, I know I'm still a
"big" girl...but I feel so good about myself that I'm not as ashamed
anymore.” After just a few weeks of hard work, she is proud of herself and
quickly feeling more and more comfortable in her own skin every day! Absolutely
amazing. We talk about commitment, struggles and of course that awesome feeling
of completing a WOD and feeling like you are on top of the world! Today she
said to me “Thank God I realize that what I do is really hard for me...even if
I come in last. And...what the person who came in first did, was also very hard
for them. It's relative.” She totally gets it. She is in it for the right
reasons… and she is doing it! I am so unbelievably proud of her, she inspires
me.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I think we have all been in a situation where we have
thought “timing is everything.” You’re in the right place at the right time, or
in the wrong place at the wrong time… either way, you know what it is like to have
that feeling. I know I have been in situations where something may happen that I
feel like the timing couldn’t be worse for, I might not be ready for something
that has suddenly popped up, or I’ve decide that right now is just not the
right time for “whatever.” On the contrary I have been on the flip side
thinking “perfect timing” when something happens… in these situations we rarely
have any control over the timing. However, living through these situations we
can totally understand how important timing is to our mentality, it can make
something really awesome, or it can totally kill it.

Garage Games are coming up on the 8th and 9th
of September. I can remember attending them last year, just a noob in the CF
world. It was pretty much the event that made me fall in love with CrossFit.
The time was right, my mind was in the right place. The day Hubs came home and
said “want to try this CrossFit thing” couldn’t have come at a more perfect
time. Not only did it work wonders for ourselves as individuals, but it is
something we do together. We can share in each others “crossfit world,” whether
it is happiness and successes or frustration and irritations. The timing was right. We were in desperate
need for a change in so many ways. Just so happened that CFW was right down the
street and we had a free Saturday. When I saw the Garage Games… something
clicked. I had already committed myself to this whole new world, but once I
locked in on the possibilities, there was no looking back.

There is a lot of time in life (unless of course life if cut
short). “We” as humans have probably made the statement “there is never enough
time” about a million times in our lives. Its natural to respond that way. I am
famous for cramming 100 things into one weekend and never having enough time to
get everything accomplished that I wanted to do. My bosses sometimes set
unreasonable deadlines at my job which make me mumble under my breath as I work
too many hours in one week to get everything done. I have said to my friends “yes,
lets get together we have let to much time pass from the last time we did” and
than the next thing you know it has been a month, time gets away from both/all
of us. Its natural. But again… timing, it plays such a huge roll in our daily
life that we don’t even realize it.

Commitment to my own health and well being has taken time.
Yeah, I jumped into CF with nothing holding me back, but I certainly did my
fair share of bailing on the gym because I didn’t feel like going or because it
was going to take too much time out of my day, back when I was at a typical
gym. I decided the day the “time was right,” the day I started CrossFit that my
life, my personal view of myself, my own well being was TOTALLY worth my time.
In fact, it was worth my time more than anything else in the world, after all, I
only get one shot at this whole “life” thing. So, I make time for ME every day.
I make time for my workout every day during that time. I don’t live to workout
I workout to live.

That did not come overnight and it did not come without
sacrifice. But the accomplishments and strides towards my goals that I have
made in the last year+…. The “time” spent has been worth it 100 times over. I
have changed my lifestyle. I don’t feel like food has to be the center of a
gathering, and if it is there is no reason it cant be healthy. Time has changed
me. Time has made me mush more aware of how I want to live the time I have left
on this planet.

Of course through my time at CF I have learned so much more
about myself than I would have ever imagined something as simple as a “gym”
could teach me. Which is why I will continue to say that you cant not really
fully understand CrossFit unless you are a CrossFitter. There have been times
that I have stuck my head out there not knowing what the outcome was going to
be… I make mistakes sometimes however, I realize I will continue to make
mistakes for the rest of my life, how else would I learn… and of course there
are plenty of failures that lead to very very successful and wonderful things.
Time allows for all these things to happen… and time allows for these things to
make me a better more well rounded person.

The Garage Games WODs have been released. I am competing as
a Rx athlete. I have been waiting for this day since last year! I both crapped
myself and got really excited when I saw the WODs. This is going to be a tough
one! One that I know I can do and one that will take a lot of focus and
determination. This morning we ran the WOD that is most concerning to me. It
has a 5 minute time cap for 25 Back Squats with 155 lbs, followed by 25
handstand pushups. Now, I have done handstand pushups plenty. All the way back
to the funniest day when I was afraid to kick up to the wall with K at the garage… to last Tuesday when I completed “Nighthawk” with a single abmat and a
15lb plate. Yesterday after the WODs were released I knocked myself down to one
abmat and did three consecutive handstand pushups. I just needed to get down to
the ground. Today was the day!

Timing. Talk about timing. First off, I set up my station
and did a “practice” one. Well, to my very own surprise (and probably to
everyone around me) I actually did it! My timing was on… I kipped and pushed in
unison and voila, I was up there.A big “HOOTIE
WHOOO” came out and I was very very excited!! But… I knew there was a lot of
work to come for the WOD. Well, I was able to complete all 25 back squats in
about 2:00 or so… than it was onto the wall. JM was there to push me along and
count my reps. Love that girl, she was so motivating and did a great job
encouraging me as well as watching the clock for the 3 minutes the I struggled…
damn. I wasn’t able to get any more out of me today. I pushed and I struggled
but I couldn’t get the timing right.

Tomorrow is another day and guess what… I did one more
handstand pushup from the ground today than I did yesterday!! I am very happy
and proud of myself and I will not let this moment pass without recognizing it!
I will continue to work hard, I will continue to push till the very last day
before I have to stop for Garage Games prep. If I get 1 or I get 25 at Garage
Games I know I will give it my all!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

If you couldn’t tell by the oodles of pictures of children
being forced to stand against the wall or at the bus stop to take pictures, or
the massive amounts of traffic and yellow buses carting children all over the
town… today is the first day of school for many kids is MA and NH. I can
remember the back to school ritual my mom had with us kids growing up. Every
year she would take us to Bradlees for back to school shopping. We were able to
pick out a few outfits and some new shoes… all of which was put on lay-a-way
until the week that school started. First day of school usually meant first
week of dance too so after school shopping we would hit up Pattersons in
Burlington for some new tap shoes, new jazz shoes (character shoes too if I
needed them) and a few new pairs of tights. My brother would get some new
sneakers for basketball… and we were all set for our school year to begin.

Something about the first day of school is so exciting. The
crisp new white sneakers and the smell of brand new clothes that you just
clipped the tags off of. Not that I realized it than, but thinking of it now,
its like a whole new beginning. You could really think about the start of the
new school year as “New Years Day” in many instances. You can put the last year
of school behind you, you can saddle up and study hard (not that I knew what
that was all about) and you could go out for a sports team that you have always
wanted to try and never did. Sure, most of the kids are the same each year, but
hey… if you celebrate NYE with that same mentality you usually have the same
people in your lives on January 1. Its easy to think now how much I should have
embraced each year as a fresh start, but there is no going back only moving forward.

Really, the first of “anything” is pretty exciting. Its all
in the way you want to go at it that determines the outcome. The first day of
school as a kindergartener (which of course is much scarier for the parent than
it is for the child), the first day at a new school, or at college… Your first ride
on a bike with no training wheels, your first rollercoaster or ride in an
airplane to go on vacation… Even your first day at a new job, your first night
in your new home, the first day you spend as a wife or husband... all times in
your life that you get that flip upside-down stomach feeling that you are
excited, scared, happy, nervous… all at the same time. In most cases it almost
feels like the slate is wiped clean and you can look at things from a new
angle.

There have been lots of “noobs” (this is what we call new
people at my work) at CFW lately. It is so exciting to watch them come into the
gym and start their CrossFit chapter. The excitement when someone tries
something for the first time and accomplishes it, or just the pure joy of
finishing a workout that they thought they would “never get through.” I have
totally been there. I WAS totally there. Before I reached the “I know I can do
it” phase I spent many of moments thinking… “oh god, how will I make it thought
this workout!” I remember that day, and have talked about it recently, where
Hubs and I stood next to K as she demoed the first WOD for us, like it was
yesterday. We had our trusty sneakers (not new but “old sneakers” don’t make
for a very good story), new water bottles, a positive open attitude and we were
ready to go. We made the decision that day to enter into CrossFit with a
mindset that we weren’t going to give up. This wasn’t just another weight
training routine or phase we were going through… this was it.

It was the first day… it was the first day of our new life.

Take it for what its worth. Embrace the challenge. Make the
sacrifices that you need to make. If you want to accomplish something… if you
start something new… the next time you have a “first day…” stick to it. Make the commitment and you will
be a much happier person. You owe it to yourself to have a new beginning any
time you want. Make some choices, make some changes. You never know, the choice
you make may change your life forever.

Todays WOD was so much fun! Loved having a team WOD during the week and loved all the new faces at the 5:30am class! Keep working hard everyone!!

WARMUP:

2 Minutes of Double Unders

3 Rounds

- 10 Lunges

- 5 Burpees

- 10 Inchworms

- 5 Med Ball Cleans

- 10 Shoulder Dislocates

Group: Push Jerk & KB Swing Review

WOD: Moving Day

Relay with a team of 3 (Me, JM and KP)

(2nd team member couldnt start until the one in front of them started the row)

Monday, August 27, 2012

God I wish there was a way that I could bottle this message up and feed it directly to some people. Even give myself (a little over a year ago) a healthy dose of it... But than again... that would in turn mean that there is a "secret" to success. When in fact what is stated above is perfectly true. Hard work, dedication, motivation and even some sacrifice is necessary to succeed

This message is so important... from graduating from high school/college all the way to losing weight and eating right. There is NO easy way. There is no magic pill. There is no one who can do your work for you. To succeed you have to use your mind, your body, your talents and your abilities. I think that until you are ready to accept that, you will always be holding yourself back a bit.

Its amazing how much inspiration is lofted into the air at a CF Gym. Its just waiting for someone to come along and soak it all in. If there is ONE thing I could say was a "tool" to help your mind and body it would be just that. Seeing someone who really wants what they are striving for... seeing someone who wont quit till they get it... seeing someone who you know works hard, who knows that there is "no secret," who has laid everything out on the line reach a goal. There is nothing like it. You can feed off that feeling and strive for it within yourself.

It dosent have to be a "big" goal and it dosent have to be a veteran CF Athlete, it may be seeing someone doing a box jump to a 20" box for an entire workout never having done it before, it may be someone kicking up to a handstand for the first time, connecting 10 kipping pullups or setting a new 1RM clean and Jerk... even someone just walking in the door and fully committing themselves to making a healthy change in their lives. That is what inspires me. Thats what keeps me going and thats what keeps me writing.

My friends, my family.... people I dont even know... you are my inspiration. I know I can do it. I know I can be anything I want to be.

Seriously... this was one of the funnest days I have had in a long time! What a great family we have at Crossfit Wachusett! K and M did a fantastic job putting together three great WOD's for us to have an in-house throw down as preparation for the Garage Games in two weeks! What a blast!

Great job to all the athletes!! Lots of PR's and lots of new accomplishments and firsts as well!! It was so nice to see some new faces that I havent met yet, so wonderful of you all to come out and play!! Also fantastic to have our friend J come out and throw down with CrossFit Wachusett from his home at Crossfit Center Mass and A from EXP! Love to have so many great people who share the same interests in the same place at the same time!

The cookout afterward was also fantastic! Kicking back for some beverages, food and conversation... on the new sidewalk (thank you Fitchburg DPW, haha). Lots of laughs and fun times to go down in the CrossFit Wachusett books!

Have I ever mentioned how much I love CrossFit? Just wondering...

This was taken as Heat #1 took off for WOD#2, a 200m weighted run.
3...2...1.. GO!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Yep. I am in charge. Today is a good day! I woke up with a smile and I was ready to let the day unfold as it would. Not to say things cant go wrong, there aren't going to be hiccups... but I am choosing happiness today! I have said before how lucky I feel I am that every morning when my alarm goes of I cant wait to go to the gym that I love... and I dont dread going to work on a daily basis. Makes choosing happiness a hell of a lot easier at 4:45am!

I couldnt wait to hit this mornings workout hard! It was going to be a challenge, my legs are sore and tired... but I didnt care. These are the kinds of workouts that I love (ok so I love them all). But with sprints, I can be powerful and work as fast as I can and have built in rest, whats better than that! I really think its fantastic that K and M are creative enough to change things up for us all the time and still keep us on a really great program to assure we gain strength and endurance. Sure, there are days that I scratch my head and think "running agian?" but as soon as the thought starts to pop in there I throw it out and remember to trust my coaches, they know what they are doing and they havent failed me yet. We are all lucky at CFW to have them.

So, they put an evil twist on Fight Gone Bad this morning. We were greeted after the warmup with "Fight Gone Way Worse!" Oh yeah, I was ready. Fight Gone Bad style is 1 minute at each station, getting as many reps as possible, than moving right into the next station, at the end of all 5 stations you have a minute rest, than start all over again. Three rounds. The minute of rest goes by like a flash. You know there is only a minute at each station so giving it everything you've got at each station is critical.

The big challenge, that I loved, was the hang cleans. I decided to do them Rx, which was 125lbs. I have been working on my clean form a lot lately so it was time to put that to the test. I excelled on some and failed on others. Only heard K yell "early pull" once. Which doesnt mean it didnt happen more than once... since she was of course paying attention to everyone at the same time. But, I know I did well and I pushed myself to do as many as I could. I like when the Rx weight challenges me in the workouts. Now I know I need to amp up my hang clean weight when I am skilling!

At the end of the first round I was pretty happy with the score of 70. I knew I could keep or beat it for the next round as I dropped from the bar on the first round of toes to bar way to early. I knew I could get more in. I wasnt able to get as many of the cleans, but I also got more KB swings the 2nd round. HR pushups were consistent as were the burpees. Uggg... burpees... I felt like I was moving so slow. I kept trying to push and push and it was like my body couldnt fall to the ground fast enough between each one! I did keep moving though and my total was 71 reps.

The third round I dipped a bit on each of the sets, but I still was able to complete 62 reps. I was a very happy lady! Mission accomplished, challenge complete, whatever way you want to look at it... my HAPPINESS continued as I was laying on the floor sweating and breathing heavy! That feeling will never go away!

I have a great Friday ahead of me... followed by a great weekend! Tomorrow will be a great day and a Sunday spent at home with Hubs is in the books!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

There was a time in my life that I thought I had everything planned out. I was young, I was in a fantastic relationship and I had only known the "normal" hardships of a teenager. My thoughts were about what I was going to do on Saturday night, what my shifts at work were going to be like next week and if my parents were going to find out that I went into Boston last weekend. Problems were the fact that my friend broke plans with me to hang out with her new boyfriend, I didnt have any money to buy a new top for my date on Friday night and how in the world I was going to get to a 8:00am class that I had no choice to sign up for in college.

In the middle of all that, I had a vision of what I wanted my life to look like. However, I have to say... if you asked me then what I thought my life would be like at 30+ years old and compared than to now... I was pretty far off! I am, by virtue of my bloodline, a planner. I think about the future often. Maybe thats a good thing, maybe thats a bad thing. At that time in my life, I think maybe I just wanted to grow up to fast. I knew what I wanted, who I wanted it with and how I was going to get there. I could see age 25. "That" age 25 and "actual" 25 were quite different. Was I disappointed? No. The path I took to get where I was at 25 and where I am now, though different from what I thought when I pictured my life, was exactly what it was meant to be. I am who I am today because of what I have been through, all the peaks and valleys of my life included.

If I had held on to long to the things that weren't meant to be, I may have missed out and not experienced some of the most important things that have molded me into the person I am now. Life's experiences change us. They make us stronger, happier, angrier, wiser... they make us, "us." Sometimes those things that have been let go of come back, and sometimes they stay away forever... but they are all a part of the big picture. They are all important in making life what it is.

I guess thinking too much of the future can be a hindrance sometimes... but I do still do it quite often. I think its important to think of where you are going and what you are doing. How your actions today will affect the future "you" and those around you. What you want the future to look like and what changes you can make to allow that to happen. However, the lesson I have learned is that its not set in stone. The path might take a turn where I least expected it. I may have to climb a wall, or jump a hurdle, hell I might end up in a totally different place than I was heading, but the road keeps on going. The days keep on coming and I have to be willing to take what life is dishing out.

I can not be afraid. The future is coming. Sometimes I have to just let go of what I thought and take what is coming my way... who knows, it might be better than I could have ever imagined it to be! I surprise myself every day... I had no idea I would be where I am right now even last year at this time. Keep it coming. I am ready!

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About Me

I am a 30-something year old woman, "Mama" to a toddling little boy, married and holding a Masters of Architecture. I like to work (yep one of those people who actually love my job and enjoy working extra hours). So really, I am blogging about myself, an "average" woman working full time and on a mission to be healthy both physically and mentally.