Friday, August 19, 2011

7QTF: Points of View

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Is a world with which I find myself increasingly at odds... yet one with which I feel an almost desperation to connect. A funny paradox, that.

I wonder how Christ handled this... in as much as he could see into the heart of our humanity, His divinity must have left Him feeling very much at odds... and yet because of that same divinity and humanity, he was obviously driven by who he was to connect with us.

I live on a very busy street corner, in a largely economically depressed area of my city. My window affords me a view I don't always want to see, yet I'm grateful for it, because I am never allowed to forget who I am created to be, and in whose name I am called.

My window shows me a world that needs my faith and compassion... I respond to the invitation... and I pray.

2.

In My Mind's Eye:

When I was first learning to drive I found it impossible to keep the car literally in my own lane, and on the road, until my Dad offered a simple observation: "Don't look at the front of the car, look to where you are going."

Though he doesn't realize it, my Dad gave me more than a driving lesson that day... I came to understand my life will reflect that toward which I consistently turn my gaze. Items which caught my gaze this week, and which I continue to ponder in the context of my own life, include:

An aspect of the blogosphere that I am having trouble negotiating are those issues and topics that upset and, sometimes, literally TRASH my equilibrium... but to which I am inexorably drawn... like a moth to a flame. These are issues I carry deeply in my soul... issues over which I weep, lose sleep... and, rightly or wrongly, the altar upon which I sacrifice peace. And that's why I can't talk about them just yet... I haven't found my love language in which to speak the words I need to say, such they are heard by those who most need to hear them. For now I'll just point with trembling hand:

School looms on the imminent horizon - there are only ten days left until I have six hours a day all to myself and... honestly... I'm dreading it. I know that sounds bizarre to those of you who have several children, but I love the happy bubble the Divine Miss O and I create together. I struggle when she's at school: I hate that I don't really know what or who is writing on her mind and heart. Even though she is only beginning second grade, we know that there is a lot that won't be good for her tender soul, and which will bruise her budding sensibilities.... it's taken a good part of the summer to erase the harm from last year. Sigh.

The Divine Miss O had a very difficult year and we, her parents, had a horrible year doing all we could to make it less so. Yet she LOVES school (you wouldn't believe the explaining I had to do when she realized she could have started at age 4)... even though it raises her anxiety level to the point of making her physically ill. Yet... we have new strategies in place, the school is aware and prepared to be more supportive and attentive to our concerns, prayers have been said to cover every aspect of concern, and off to school she will go.

I stopped checking for monsters under my bed when I realized they were inside me... I also realized... so are the knights who slay them.

This isn't a viewpoint I normally spend a lot of time thinking about (and one which most people usually perceive as negative), but it's been an interesting summer. My perceptions of myself, my daughter, Catholicism, the church, my faith, people I thought I knew have been challenged and, surprisingly, found to be somewhat different than I considered... in primarily good and delightful ways. Much has been going on behind my back of which I've failed to take notice.

So, I'm inclined to ask myself: "What is it I am eally seeing here (doing my best to suspend the judgements which rise so readily)?" "What is really going on when I'm not looking?" "To what am I paying attention?" "Does that to which I attend reflect my priorities?"

I don't have clear answers to these questions as such, but I'm going to be exploring them here. I'll keep you posted (pun intended).

I read to challenge, myself, entertain myself, escape, inform, grow. Books have always been my very best friends, my consolation, my joy. Books are touchstones in my life. Every August I place an Amazon order for books I want to read over the course of the next year starting in September. My order arrived this week!

If there's an argument/discussion to be had, let it be about ideas and facts, not personalities... I will not support any commentary in which all speakers are not equally respected.

In the spirit of fostering an atmosphere of generosity, and of reflecting the best of humanity - and to invite the greatest diversity of opinion - I ask that you read the 'About Comments' page before commenting.

'Anonymous' commenters will not find a platform through this blog. If you want to comment here - agree or disagree - you are going to have to own your position.

Liturgical Calendar

I'm hiding, I'm hiding, and no one knows where!

"I am prejudiced in favor of him who, without impudence, can speak boldly. He has faith in humanity, and faith in himself. No one who is not accustomed to giving grandly can ask nobly and with boldness." JOHANN KASPAR LAVATER

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A Blogger's Disclaimer...

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"When the unstoppable bullet hits the impenetrable wall, we find the religious experience. It is precisely here that one will grow.... Heroism could be redefined for our time as the ability to stand paradox." ROBERT A. JOHNSON, 'Owning Your Own SHADOW'

In a world where heroes have become passe, it is here that I hope to become a hero in my own, and in that of my daughter's, life. This is my place to hopefully step into, and own, my shadow.

Like your average hero, I've struggled most of my life to reconcile my internal experience with the realities of life around me. I've struggled also, with varying degrees of success, to respond to both my internal and external experience with the mind of the Church, and from a place of faith. Through all of it, I have felt deeply the central Christian mystery and have, indeed, found it worth dying for.

My life continues to be an on-going series of what often feel like unstoppable bullets, hitting the nearly impenetrable wall of my intellect, selfishness, fear, stubborness, righteous anger, independence and pride... exactly where the religious experience happens, and paradox becomes holy. I have discovered that my greatest successes in reconciling my external and internal experiences come to me through writing... and it is then that we (my God and I) dance.

"The Catholic writer, in so far as he has the mind of the Church, will feel life from the standpoint of the central Christian mystery: that it has for all its horror, been found by God to be worth dying for." FLANNERY O'CONNOR

Reader comments, and the discussions that occur through the comment boxes, are what enrich the blogging experience for all involved. To that end, if you please, read the 'About comments...' page beforehand. I've been witness to too many blog 'conversations' that have been more demoralizing than they have been enriching. For that reason, I invite, and reserve the right to maintain, some guidelines.

If you'd like to contact me personally for any reason (I'm especially pleased to welcome any questions you might have), you can find me here.

Lift the City - A Eucharistic Flash Mob

"Jesus was in every book of the Bible."

The picture says it all...

Just PRAYERFULLY PONDER this, if you will... You might be surprised by where it takes you!

How to Assuage Anger Like a Saint:

"For often the memory of vicious men and what they have done comes upon me and makes my blood boil. But this does not last long, for I very soon restrain my temper and persuade it to calm down by saying that it is quite futile and utterly despicable to forget our own faults and meddle with those of our neighbours."St. John Chrysostom

I'm hiding, I'm hiding, and no one knows where!

Our lives reflect that to which we consistently turn our gaze, and those to whom we give our esteem and reverence...Click on the images below for more information!

St. Ann - My Patron Saint

"O glorious St. Ann, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity."

St. Isidore of Seville - Patron Saint of the Internet

"Almighty and eternal God, who created us in Thy image and bade us to seek after all that is good, true and beautiful, especially in the divine person of Thy Only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, grant, we beseech Thee, that, through the intercession of Saint Isidore, Bishop and Doctor, during our journeys through the internet we will direct our hands and eyes only to that which is pleasing to Thee and treat with charity and patience all those souls whom we encounter. Through Christ our Lord. Amen." Fr. John Zuhlsdorf, A prayer before logging onto the internet

St. Fraces de Sales - Patron Saint of Writers & Journalists

"Whoever preaches with love preaches sufficiently against heresy, although he may not utter a single word of controversy."

Edith Stein, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

"God is there in these moments of rest and can give us in a single instant exactly what we need. Then the rest of the day can take its course, under the same effort and strain, perhaps, but in peace. And when night comes, and you look back over the day and see how fragmentary everything has been, and how much you planned that has gone undone, and all the rasons you have to be embarrassed and ashamed: just take everything exactly as it is, put it in God’s hands and leave it with Him. Then you will be able to rest in Him -- really rest -- and start the next day as a new life."

"Holy Spirit, Source of every perfection, give us wisdom, intelligence, and courage so that, following the example of Saint Gianna and through her intercession, we may know how to place ourselves at the service of each person we meet in our personal, family and professional lives, and thus grow in love and holiness."

Holy Family - Protection of the Family & Catholic Church

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, bless me and grant me the grace of loving my family and others in mutual charity as I should, and establish us in perfect harmony of thought, will, and action, under the rule and guidance of the shepherds of the Church."

St. Jean-Baptiste-Marie Vianney - Patron Saint of Priests

"O Almighty Eternal God, Look upon the face of Thy Christ, and for the love of Him, Who is the Eternal High Priest, have pity on Thy priests. Remember, O most compassionate God, that they are but weak and frail human beings. Stir up in them the grace of their vocation which is in them by the imposition of the Bishop’s hands. Keep them close to Thee, lest the enemy prevail against them, so that they may never do anything in the slightest degree unworthy of their sublime vocation. O Jesus, keep them all close to Thy heart, and bless them abundantly in time and in eternity."

St. Faustina Kowalka - Patron Saint of Christ's Divine Mercy

"Please pray dear St. Faustina, that I may never forget that the abyss between my Lord and I has been bridged by His tender mercy. He will continue to be faithful and heal me of anything which stands in the way of His Will. My life is in His Hands."

St. Michael the Archangel: Prayer Campaign for the Conversion of Abortionists

"Glorious Prince of the Celestial Host, St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the conflict which we have to sustain against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places (Eph 6:12). Come to the rescue of men whom God has redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of the devil. It is thou whom Holy Church venerates as her guardian and her protector; thou whom the Lord has charged to conduct redeemed souls into heaven. Pray therefore, the God of peace, to subdue Satan beneath our feet, that he may no longer retain men captive nor do injury to the Church. Present our prayers to the Most High, that without delay they may draw His mercy down upon us. Seize “the dragon, the ancient serpent, which is the devil and Satan,” bind him and cast him into the bottomless pit…”that he may no longer seduce the nations” (Rev 20:2-3)."

Our Lady of Kibeho - Gathering My Prayers for Africa

"The Angel of the Lord declared to Mary: And she conceived of the Holy Spirit. Behold the handmaid of the Lord: Be it done unto me according to Thy word. And the Word was made Flesh: And dwelt among us. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ."

St. Frances Solano - Gathering My Prayers for Bolivia

"Lord, we ask that we, your people, be instruments in your hands and be sowers of peace in the midst of conflict. In this time of aggression, hate and racism in Bolivia, we ask that You make us sensitive to the great need that surrounds us; that we keep your word in our minds and be doers of your word. We thank you God, because you are the God of history, who can transform uncertainty and discouragement into joy, hope and faith in those who lack in our country."