Simpsons Porno Story: Bartman Chapter 58

This
baby isnt that bad. I say to him as I put him to sleep. I am
super stoned right now and thats why I love my brother. He forces
me to due drugs to escape the reality that he is my brother.

Whats
the matter Bart? He was baby sitting, must be angry that I didnt
say my drugs with him. Whats he got to complain he took whats
left of my heroin. Although I did buy some to add to this high, I had
taken so many fun desserts today.

Nothing,
I just wonder if you still like your brother when your not really,
really high?

I dont
know. I dont want to find out. HAHA I say with a giggle. It was
fun to be high as a kite and it doesnt have to be Mania. No drugs
are an essential part of over development. If the Beatles didnt
take drugs then we wouldnt have good rock music, heroin made
Grunge awesome. Also it enhances your vision. Dude, I think I can see
my self in the mirror. Shes smiling back politely as I smile too.

Jessica,
what did you take anyways?

A lot.

Dude,
when your dad gets back

Shut up
Bart, you got the devils hair. I say with a laugh.

Sit
down Jess, No I prefer to stand. I like it when the world spins
around and your in a different realm of bunnies killing cat urine.

Jessie.

Hey
they should make a pyramid that is black with a piss in your face fun
time hour where you can stick your face in a ladys vagina and it
releases isotopes of Carbon 12 which is in the air you breathe and in
fact radioactive.

Ok,
its time for you too uhh get clean

Why?

Firstly
your brother will be influenced by this, in fact he is probably in
the same room you smoke weed.

Well,
Im just speeding up evolution. Us Americans are doomed to be drug
addicts and underachievers, thats the price you get for freedom.
Go Communism! The political system that oppresses freedom and steals
from the poor to make the rich super rich. Poverty is cool!! Screw
capitalist.

Secondly,
its fucking your brain up. Youre not the same Jessica I used to
know.

Also
you know how they have those little marshmallows that have meat in
the middle, now thats something retro.

Thirdly,
if you ever want to have a child with me, I dont want it to come
out like Homer.

Bart
I thought you didnt want one.

Not
with a heroin addict.

Hey
back off Bart. Heroin is what everyone needs. If Bush was on heroin
then he wouldnt have the need to start up any more unnecessary
wars.

Jess,
you got to admit you have a problem.

Heroin
isnt a problem, its a solution.

It
solves nothing, I cant believe your back on that shit anyways.

Relax
Bart, Wiggum gave it too me.

That
doesnt mean shit, so its a police officers stash, so what?
Its still an addictive death maker.

It
doesnt kill it heals,

It
killed the alice in chains singer, Jim Morrison, a red hot chilli
pepper, that fat ninja from Beverly hills ninja and dont forget
Kurt Cobain would have died from that huge amount of heroin if the
bullet didnt beat it to it.

Kurt
Cobain is hot.

Jessica,
are you paying attention.

You
know that one nirvana song that has that really awesome singing.
Hairspray queen, that song kicks ass. I mean its so unlike anything I
have ever heard, makes my laugh.

Jessica.
Oh what the hell, naked boobs of a pigeon rabbit.

OMG!!
Pigeon rabbits are so cute, they are like winged rats of a naked
boob.

Shitty,
shitty, fag, fag what do ya do?

You so
stole that off South Park. South Park is awesome, especially Cartman
and Butters. Also Stan and Kyle kick ass and Kenny is so cute, he has
to be my favourite. He always dies in such cute ways. The political
and sometimes satirical approach to current events makes it education
as well. In fact it has made me think a lot about life and how it
sucks.

Oh
k, firstly South Park owns. Your just so stoned you dont realise
it is cool for too many purposes

I know,
like that time Cartman got aids. Also dont forget that time
Cartman became a ginger and also that time Cartman got an anal probe.
Weird how cool episodes involve Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, Butters
or any of the south park residents.

A/N: Okay,
I wrote that bit stoned, just to try it out not going to edit it
or anything, so uhh please forgive me for spelling and grammar
errors. Im only human and stoned but now Im not so happy
news years or something.

The next
day I was awake in my room, I didnt know I had fallen asleep in my
room.

Jessica,
we got to have a talk. Oh this so resembles that time he broke up
with me before I framed him for stealing from the church collection
plate.

What is
it Bart?

You got
to lay off the drugs. Cant you see what its doing to you?

Its
doing nothing Bart,

Stop
this shit, its ruining your life.

Its
not ruining my life okay?

Yes it
is. He says firmly, whats he going to do anyways? Take my
heroin? He has already done that and thats the only drug I want.
Screw all of this soft crap, heroin is the best drug.

You
have started to become a heroin addict. Bart says, almost reading
my mind.

Look
Bart, everyone wants to escape reality. Some do it by T.V, reading,
drugs, games and whatever but I prefer heroin. Its not ruining my
life and Im perfectly fine.

Jessica!!
I care about you too much to stand by and watch you do this I
interrupt him because he is starting to become an asshole.

Leave
me alone then. You sound like my dad.

Jessica,
Im just getting worried, maybe I do need to tell your father.

Go
right ahead dad!!

Jessica
cant you see that this is destroying your life?

Its
not!! Stop saying that. Im fine. Im not going down like Sid
Vicious or anything. Im just enjoying life.

So was
Sid Vicious till he woke up dead.

You
cant wake up dead, see Bart youre the one that needs help.
He rolled his eyes.

Dont
roll your fucking eyes. Ill pull those fucking eyes out of your
brain and shoved them up your ass. See what you can see then you
little bitch. I wanted to slap him, punch him and hurt him anyway
I could.

Jessica,
calm down I just want to help you.

Help me
by going away.

Ok
thats enough Jessica. Look, Im not going to talk to you or see
you till youre clean.