Talkin' it up!
On The Barry Gibb Talk Show
Talkin' about issues
Talkin' about real important issues.

Talkin' it up!
On The Barry Gibb Talk Show
Checkin' out politics
In this crazy, crazy tow-own!"

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! Your host - Barry Gibb!

[ Barry speaks in staccato throughout the sketch ]

Barry Gibb: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We've got a great show for you tonight. Let's get right to it. This is my show, and this is a non-nonsense show. I'm not gonna take any crap from nobody! [ a beat ] This week's election. Robin.. did you vote?

Robin Gibb: No.

Barry Gibb: No, you didn't vote?

Robin Gibb: No, I didn't.

Barry Gibb: Okay. Arianna Huffington.. you saw this thing from the inside. What effect do you think this is going to have on California politics as a whole..?

Barry Gibb: You know, you know, you know - let us interrupt for a second.. You know what has a tremendous effect on me? The sound of your grating voice!!Everytime you speak, it feels like someone's dropping a CAR BATTERY on my SACK!! MY GOD!! Do you ever LISTEN to yourself?!! I'm GLAD you LOST the election!! Agghhh! [ a beat ] Robin? Do you have anything to add?

Robin Gibb: No.. no, I don't..

Barry Gibb: No, nothing at all? [ continues ] Al Franken. You have the best-selling book, all about the right. What is Gov. Schwarzenegger pro-choice program.. for gun contr-o-o-l, for the Republican pa-a-arty?

Barry Gibb: Ha ha! Before you get started ,I just want to warn you - I'm not Bill O'Reilly!! You start and SMART TALK with ME, and I will END IT!! I didn't go to your hasty pudding, "Let's all dress up like girls" school! I grew up on the streets of SYDNEY!! And no matter where I am in the studio-o-o-o.. I'm never more than fi-i-ve seconds away from a gu-u-unn! [ a beat ] Uh, Robin.. do you have anything to a-a-add?

Cruz Bustamonte: First of all.. it's delightful how you say my name, and you sing it like that! I love it! I'm a real big fan! When I was growing up, I thought you guys were the greatest band around!

Barry Gibb: Oh yeah, huh? You-you-you thought we.. you thought we were the greatest? You hear that, Robin? We were! WERE!! Huh? [ snaps ] Don't you EVER talk to me like that AGAIN!! I'M BARRY GIBB!! [ demonstrates a karate kick in the air ] You know what that means?! I put this whole show together! I'm Barry Gibb - I wil PUT you in the GROUND!! Agh agh agh agh agh! [ singing ] "I'll put you in the ground! I'll put you in the ground - yeah!"

Robin Gibb: [ singing ] "..in the grou-ound!"

Barry Gibb: "..put you in the ground, me and my brotheríll help me put you in the ground - yeah!"

[ regains his composure ]

Well.. that's all the time we have. [ singing ] "We.. have.. bee-een.."