After months of rumors and tricks (this trick including) thinking that Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer might be a big STUNT QUEEN stunt to promote whatever Pimp Mama Kris wants promoted, Bruce bravely came out as transgender and said the words, “I am a woman.” I live in the past that is the West Coast, so the interview isn’t airing right now, but thank the fuck for whoever invented the Internet, high-speed, computers, etc., because now I don’t have to wait a million years to watch Bruce pull out his pony, shake his mane and give us “I am woman, hear me roar.”

“I would say I’ve always been very confused with my gender identity since I was this big. I tried to explain it, because I’ve had all my kids sitting in that chair … and I’ve tried to explain it this way. God’s looking down, making little Bruce … he says ‘Okay, what are gonna do with this one. Make him a smart kid, very determined … and then when he’s just finishing he says, ‘Let’s wait a second.’ God looks down and chuckles a little bit and says, ‘Hey, let’s give him the soul of a female.’

“Bruce lives a lie. She is not a lie,” Jenner said. “I can’t do it anymore.”

Bruce cackled when Diane told him that some people think the interview was a stunt to promote a reality show. Bruce told her that he wouldn’t go through everything he’s going through to promote a reality show. (Somewhere, PMK watched that and yelled at that screen, “That is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever said, Bruce!” ) Bruce said that the first person he told was his first wife Christy. When Diane asked if he’s gay, Bruce once again laughed and said that he’s strictly clitly. He’s never been with a dude and is still into women.

As for PMK, Bruce says that he was taking hormones 5 years before he got with her and he had 36C chichis at the time. She knew he was taking hormones and knew about his cross-dressing. Bruce didn’t say any bad shit about PMK and said that he “loved” her. ABC asked all three of Bruce’s ex-wives for a comment and the only one who didn’t give one was PMK. She had no comment. In PMK’s defense, it’s kind of impossible to comment as she’s screaming into a pillow because Bruce is getting all the attention.

UPDATE: After Perez Hilton called her out for not saying shit on Twitter, PMK tweeted this.

Does she kiss Lucifer’s ass lips with that mouth?! ABC claims that they e-mailed her PR team several times and was finally told that she had no comment. And you know the Bruce she’s sitting with isn’t Bruce Jenner. It’s some dude named Bruce she picked up at a bar and plans to suck the life out of later.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).