It’s been awhile since Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin has graced the pages here at SoB. The lengthy lockout had a lot to do with that, obviously, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that a man we have affectionately referred to in the past as “Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player” has been a longtime favorite of this here site (this might be my favorite — or maybe this one), and I am relieved he has made a triumphant return.

And now Gilette Fusion ProGlider is in Ovechkin’s hands! With a nimble move he changes the whole flow of the game! You can see the brazen arrogance of a big city denizen! A counterattack! What is he doing?! Ovechkin is playing in the zone of a chivalrous intellectual… Shush!!!…An aficionado of Kafka and long walks… A pass! And now he is on the beach! What’s going to happen next?! A pass into the slot… he shoots!.. Now, my friends, the game is getting serious. The situation is tense… what a chance!… Just a few seconds to victory! Ovechkin goes to the net and radically changes his style! Here is the moment of truth! A-a-a-a-a-n-d!…. He scores! Sasha, this is your win!!!!

Mark my words, I will be incorporating the phrase “playing the zone of a chivalrous intellectual” as a way to describe myself in every possible conversation. I just have to remember to be wearing pants when I do so. Note to self…