White Castle Fires Up Burger-Scented Candle

Scented candles are a big stinkin’ deal. Go to a specialty megastore like Bed Bath & Beyond or the housewares department at Target, and your olfactory senses will kick into overdrive before you even get both feet in the candle aisle.

With the right candle, you can make your living room smell like just about anything you want. Including stuff that I don’t know I’d want my living room to smell like. Sandalwood, for example. Or Leaves. (Really?!? If I want to smell leaves, I’ll go outside in October. I don’t need my living room to smell like yardwork.) There are even candles scented with things that I never really thought of as having scent. Clean Cotton. Fresh Linen. Ocean Breeze. (<Sniff, sniff.> “That smells like rotting jellyfish. Do you have an Ocean Breeze candle burning?”)

Of course, there a few strokes of genius in the candle aisle, too. Pecan Pie. Cinnamon Bun. Now you’re talking. I’ve always said the candlemakers should take that a few steps further and put out a line that’s aimed squarely at guys. You could call them “Mandles.” What self-respecting dude wouldn’t want their pad to smell like Fresh Sawdust? New Leather? Axle Grease? Bacon? Well, someone was listening.

White Castle, the iconic 88-year-old hamburger chain, has introduced a candle that smells exactly like the little square burger famously known as the White Castle Slyder.

The Columbus, Ohio-based chain approached Laura Slatkin, the “queen of home fragrances” (you have got to be kidding me) to design the candle for National Hamburger Month (a celebration that White Castle themselves started in ’93). “When I think of truly superior aromas, I think of the aroma of a freshly grilled White Castle hamburger – life just doesn’t get better than that,” she announced. (I take it back. Laura sounds like an awesome gal.) And while eau de steam-grilled-on-a-pile-of-onions burger is enticing enough for cheeseburger chowhounds, the hook of this kitschy candle is the holder.

The ceramic candleholder is an exact replica of the trademark castle-shaped cardboard sleeve that slyders are served in across 11 Midwestern (and Eastern) states. But lest you think that this is merely a fast-food behemoth cranking out more crap that nobody needs just to make a quick buck (I’m talking to you, Burger King, with your ill-fated meat-scented body spray called Flame, which was a disaster on par with the Edsel and New Coke), you can actually feel good about firing up this stoner-food scent in your humble abode. That’s because all net proceeds from the $10 candle benefit Autism Speaks.

Worthy causes aside, expect these collectible candles to go like wildfire with White Castle fanatics, referred to as “Cravers” by the company. “Starting today, no true Craver’s castle will be complete without The Original Slyder-scented candle,” proclaimed Jamie Richardson, VP of corporate relations. “We expect the first run of 10,000 candles to be snapped up quickly.”

Uh, yeah. The candles went on sale on May 3. When I checked the website around dinnertime that evening, I got a message that read, “The item you are looking does not currently exist.“ The proofreader in me was disgusted that someone forgot to type the word “for” in there after “looking.” The burger lover in me was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to get my hands on this smokin’ hot little item. Let’s hope that White Castle fires up the assembly line with a second run of candles.