Jagr is 40 years old, and he's been a not-great hockey player for a few years now. He did manage to put together 19 goals and 35 assists for the Flyers last year, after a brief Siberian sojourn, but he only scored three goals in his last 20 games. Plus, his teammates in Dallas will be a lot less talented than the gang he had in Philly.

But Jagr's evidently decided he'll spend the rest of his career collecting as much money as he can. He'll be a mediocre hired gun, a traveling circus. Early signs indicate he'll do well at that: Dallas's one-year deal will pay him $1.2 million more than the Flyers' contract did, and Texas has no state income tax. So, good for him. But every year spent cashing checks in god-knows-where keeps Jagr away from another Cup or a homecoming in Pittsburgh. And that's no fun.