An in-depth look at one of the worst video game reviewers on the Internet.

Monday, December 16, 2013

The Peak of Obsessive Fandom: Skylanders Stop-Motion

You know how I've given Bores crap for "misplaced effort"? Rather than focusing on writing or acting, he'd rather focus more on effects and other such similar nonsense? That's what we have here.

After a MONTH of nothing, Bores finally posted a new video. A four and a half minute Skylanders stop-motion short. Stop-motion, one of the most tedious forms of animation (to create) possible. Are you kidding me?
First of all, Skylanders have no articulation. They're solid statues and do not make for entertaining stop-motion shorts. Had he done real action figures, claymation, Lego, I would actually praise him because stop-motion isn't easy. But statues?

Okay, I'll give Bores the benefit of the doubt if he produces something interesting with this. ItsJustSomeRandomGuy isn't really stop-motion but he makes up for it with entertaining jokes, engaging writing, and great voice acting.
... This short has none of that.

I'm not going to do the usual recap because, truth be told, there's little substance to this short. Instead, here's a summary.
We open on Bores playing Skylanders, when a little girl runs in screaming "Daddy Daddy, there's new Skylanders under the Christmas tree!" I'll discuss this little girl later.
Then we pan over to the Skylanders as they come to life and discuss their plan of... welcoming the new ones. ... Laaaaaame.
So a few of them sneak off, move down the stairs, run into some MLP toys, then arrive at the Christmas tree where some Swap Force Skylanders await. Then they take a giant boat, pick up the MLP toys, and the video ends. Oh wait, there were bloopers too.

... Yeah, wasn't much to that now. Of course, there's the usual terrible jokes and awful voice acting mixed in there.

Observations:
The little girl. According to the last blooper, her name is Emmy. She's likely one of Chris' girlfriend's kids, and she was only calling him "daddy" as "part of the show". Unless she really is his daughter... I don't want to think about it.

The story is basically a really lame version of Toy Story. Only without any of the conflict or heartwarming moments that made that series special. At least one of the Skylanders could have been like "What if we get replaced? Or no longer played with?" Like Woody was when Andy got Buzz Lightyear.

Bores framed two of DatBoiDrew's drawings and hung them on his wall (Aladdin and Kool-Aid Man). How strange.

Was the MLP bit really necessary? Maybe that was Emmy's contribution to the script. "I'll appear in the video if you put my Pony toys in".

Steve Masters was in the video as one of the Skylanders. Odd cameo choice...

According to the description, Bores invested 60 hours into this short. This is what I mean by misplaced effort. He could have spent that time doing actual reviews, providing content. Instead he wastes it on this dumb short that only solidifies how much of an obsessed loon he is for these damn toys.

Look, I know stop-motion isn't easy. I've tried it, it's not fun. But this was really stupid.
"Year of Irate Gamer" What a load of crap. You barely did a damn thing, and I'm sick of your Skylanders obsession. I'm pretty sure most of your fans are too. But do you care? No, you hide behind your multiple sockpuppet accounts, sticking your fingers in your ears and claiming that everything is okay and that we're the ones in the wrong.

We shall see how 2014 goes. Probably even worse.
By the way, it has taken over three years to complete his "epic storyline". Keep in mind, it started October 2010, and we're approaching 2014. What a joke.

EDIT: My Facebook informant was looking over the posts, and noticed fan pointing out how similar the video was to "Skylanders Shorts" from "Skylander Boy and Girl". Looking up the videos, I can see what he means. However, where Bores used the toys for the game (which are like statues), they used the Mega Bloks Skylanders, which are like Lego, and actually move around like stop-motion figures should. Once again, Bores jumps on a bandwagon and puts out a poor copy. *sighs* Will he ever learn?

The failure of TIGG is my worst moment as well. Second would be the Power Rangers review for retro reviews (bashing a good game for petty reasons, and a storyline bit that makes Operation Overdrive seem coherent). Third is Star Trek (the Old News riff summed up the flaws with that. Once again, he points out while Chris is a good editor; his writing and incompetence at gaming remain some of his biggest flaws without bringing up you-know-who). Fourth is GI Joe. The conditions are similar to my other choices for the worst retro reviews (looking back, I enjoyed GI Joe Retaliation and working on a recap of GI Joe Sigma Six for my blog). I'm surprised he didn't go for the more obvious joke of Snow Job being named for a cocaine slang term with that whole bit. Rounding out the top 5 is that mess with Sonic Lost World. I still want to play it, and I'm quite interested to see how the gameplay style fares. When Boring Man did it, it was Idiocy Unleashed all over again. I could just imagine AoSTH Robotnik going "WHY?!" and spouting angrish at that video. Has Bores seriously not seen all those warnings to consult a doctor if you experience motion sickness playing games? Oh, that would imply he took heed to them instead of leeching off other's success despite being out of his depth for it. That's all I have. His so-called "Year of Irate Gamer" has been so inactive that I've put more energy into school, my YouTube channel and my copy of Pokémon Y. 2014 has some interesting games on the docket (Super Smash Bros for 3DS and Wii U, Kingdom Hearts III, and the new Star Wars Battlefront look good with me); and I can only imagine what Boring Man will do now that he's been found out as Norman Bores (the same IP address exposed that). See you around, Dan.

I think the reason why Bores put Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and the other pony characters from previous generations that I have zero clue about (I never saw the other MLP cartoons and never cared for them. Just G4) was more like a shout out to his fans who are bronies and yeah, several bronies and pegasisters are fans of the IrateGamer.

1. Why is Bores's voice acting as Stealth Elf sounds awful?2. Was the CGI effects on Eruptor and Ignitor necessary?3. And if Ignitor really does burn like that, wouldn't he be a dangerous hazard to kids?4. Why is Spyro a dick to Drill Sergeant?5. Was the MLP bit necessary?6. Do people really want to see Gill Grunt puking?

Now for some answers in the form of the obvious1. Its Chris Bores, even his farts aren't silent. And I'm talking about the ones that come out from his mouth.2. What enflames the audiences anger more than poor CGI?3. Not in china4. Why is Chris Bores a dick to anyone?5. Hai bandwagon6. Considering Chris Bores has people who actually watch his content and enjoy it... I'm gonna say yeah. I'm sure Chris Bores like to see other people puking (he does watch family guy after all).

honestly, I at least saw some heart in this video. Despite the terrible stop motion, and his continuing love for skylanders. that however is a personal opinion. I am willing to go as far as saying he actually put effort into this, then again it is only four and a half minutes long

Bores, please don't try to voice Spyro. That purple dragon was, and still is, one of my favorite video game mascots and his games are awesome (most of them anyway). Even if I disapprove of the way Activision butchered his character design, Spyro will still remain a legend to me. If you [Bores] try to do a voice for him, you fail to give him and his franchise any justice whatsoever.

Definitely no Elijah Wood, Tom Kenny, or Carlos Alazraqui. I'm glad Insomniac still has the rights to the classic games on Playstation Network Store (I plan to get them for my PS3); and they moved onto Ratchet and Clank, later Resistance to work some of their same great game design. An actual review of Swap Force would have been bad enough; but this skit is even worse. I've compiled my worst moments from what I could find from this year (not helped by how inactive Boring Man has been); and unless he does something else in the next two weeks (which I doubt he will), I'll be ready to put mine in.

You know what bores? You need far more effort than this. You can't just copy crap from the commercials where they introduce the new characters. If you wanna do stop motion, you need days, not hours. Example:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkbclArGxTA

With the new changes to YouTube, he may be gone within 2 years. (a big may be considering how RWJ took people's clips without permission and certain other partners use(d) fake thumbnails for years and they never got copyright strikes until years later. (as far as I know)) the only good thing to come out of this is no character limits on comments)

I realize that death can be a powerful setup for a cartoon series, which can get stale over time. With Family Guy, the death of Brian would have been an interesting thing to usher in a fresh start, if small. But the fans go: NO, WE WANT IT TO BE THE SAME 4EVER, YOU STUPID WRITERS; and thus we seem to be back in the same place

I think it was more along the lines of, "my god please start making the character likable again before you defile the characters we used to like". I mean family guy season 1-3 are really damn good. The people laughing at the shitty humor in new seasons probably don't want Brian to be dead because they're idiots who are way too easily amused by tasteless humor. The people who remember the old seasons don't want him to die because hey he was classic character and he only died because the writers ruined his character and then subsequently executed him for it. In the end this is still the writers fault, the first for doing it in the first place and the second for caving in and coping out.

@Blade. Not really. Green Arrow isn't really one of my favorite DC heroes from the lower-tiers (his presence in Justice League Unlimited and Young Justice didn't stick out at me. Heck, in the latter, he was overshadowed by his sidekick, Speedy/Red Arrow/Arsenal in my eyes!). Been more of an Agents of SHIELD guy for Joss Whedon's work on TV again, and a resurgence of Coulson. I don't know, I've noticed a pattern that Marvel has been better at getting people like me to get invested in heroes I might not know off the top of my head than DC has. @fusioncode9 Yeah, and it didn't even work for me beyond my indifference. I put more energy into thinking about my school term. It hasn't even gotten me to more than consider following it again. At least The Simpsons had more justification for retiring Edna Krabappel out of respect for the late actress Marcia Wallace. I've never really thought too highly of Family Guy after the post-2005 cancellation episodes.

Well to be fair about that stupid plot twist is that it happen in the same episode as oppose to just trying to shut up the fans, also to be fair Simpson already did something similar to that before with Snowball 2

Definitely didn't bring him back because people complained. Simply not enough time has passed between the announcement that he was to die, and the screening of the episode in which he's due to come back. From scripting, writing, voice recording, keyframe animation, tweening, final editing and so on, no, just not enough time to be able to say that they brought him back because people complained.

I agree that the concept of reviewer dibs is utter nonsense. There is nothing that prevents one person from giving a view on a work. I believe it's been pointed out that review databases like Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic are built on collating review from multiple sources and cross-referencing them! I am way behind on James' videos. Not having an internet connection of my own doesn't help, as most of the locations that offer wi-fi in town are dismal at best in connection speed. I may be embracing my '90s nostalgia, but I definitely do not miss waiting for hours to get online.

I agree Steven, as long as they cover it in unique ways, and with unique styles. Jontron has an insanely unique style, which is far sillier,with AVGN being more serious and focussed on actual flaws rather than bizzare things.

I watched some of his videos on his nicotine alien account, they seemed pretty good but for some reason I guess Marcus is going through some life crisis because he closed down that account went through several others before having a 9 month hiatus. I don't even know if he has a controversy associated with him. Thus my verdict is that while there is evidence showing that he is good at what he does there is too little of it to support any thesis on him what so ever.

Also, on his rant on Bores he said he looked pretty on camera. Even typing this here made me vomit into my mouth...Kind of like when people tell me I shouldn't hate the new robocop movie even though it's gonna be PG-13!!!

Exactly. That rant of his was incredible. Many of his reviews have been mirrored, thankfully. I am not looking forward to the new Robocop either. I'm thinking the first movies I might see in 2014 will be Captain America: The Winter Soldier and The Wind Rises.

@Steven His rant was great but the problem is that in a later video he said he regretted talking about the Irate Gamer. My estimate is that he thought he was in for something good being a caustic critic and all but then found the fandom wars and youtube bullshit to be overbearing.

Since everyone's over here now, I just wanted to know what Bores did about that whole "losing his iratethe80s domain" thing. I know he change links on his site, but what about the videos themselves? Like, don't they still have the domain in the videos? He'd have to take the videos down and totally redo that part on every one. That, or use an annotation I guess, but I was wondering what happened with that.

It appears he just made it link to his vlog blog, the front page no less not the episode list. In addition navigating the front page to get to the irate the 80s episode will show that he's still be lazy because he didn't bother to upload anything past yummy mummy.

Gotta love what's on the writer's staff page. "Critics of the early show labeled Bores a copy, but overlooked the aspirations of paying homage to the guys that came before him"

This is why you don't write your own biography

"Chris went on to achieve many accolades"Such as?

"He is currently finishing up a huge story arc in the Irate Gamer series, continuing the History of Video Games saga, and working on a new ghost hunting documentary that will shake up the paranormal community for years to come"LOL, he might want to update that last one to bore the community for years to come.

Hey guys, remember when Irate Gamer's E-begging spoof video was first posted? It had a high 78%. But now over time, that rating has decreased to 56% which is pretty much the same average rating as all of his other videos.

When people complained to James Rolfe that his shit jokes were getting old (e.g. when his Odyssey video came out), he cut back. When people complained to Doug Walker about the filler scenes in his NC videos and how they were not adding anything to the reviews, he compromised.

When people complain to Chris Bores about anything in his videos, he blocks the complainers.

Merry Christmas everyone! I just watched a Skylander's commercial where kids were opening presents of them with much excitement. Something tells me that Bores probably send Activision a similar reaction video.

Hey guys, I'm still working on my games but I'm far away from having anything ready to share. My site is mainly a placeholder for now, but I decided to write a quick review on The Walking Dead, Season 2, Episode 1.

No or at least he didn't have a chance too. It seems like youtube caught onto what he was doing and fragged all his backup accounts. I only say that since shortly after yet another backup account went down he switched to another one that didn't last quite as long. Of course I already found out what I needed to before that happened.

Yes he is stubborn but entirely too stupid to not hide what he does. What I found out about him before he got his accounts fragged is that he possibly spends most of his time reposting comments he made on one account to the backups. I would not have noticed such a thing had he just disappeared since I checked that "new" account and all of the comments before the one some time before he lost that account said that it was from one week ago.

Actually, I've found some more accounts of his, one of which he doesn't use anymore, and really just has a link to another one of his channels. It's what's posted on his other channel that really says quite a lot.

http://www.youtube.com/user/BrutalDoomSucks/discussion

http://www.youtube.com/user/UltraDisk17/feed?activity_view=1

All I'm going to say is, just reading what all is said there on BrutalDoomSucks discussion says quite a lot more about what kind of person he is.

Also, something to point out, he also has commented here before with the name UltraDisk17. His one comment was "Hey guys, let's ignore batdanmn by continuing to bitch and whine about his comments and rebuttals about this blog, y'know like how the professionals do!"

There's probably more out there, but I'm in no mood to look for anymore. But what I've found just in the last day seems to give even more of an idea about the type of guy this is.

I agree, especially when AVGN was just glossing through Home Improvment: Power Tool Pursuit. He even said that the weapons sucks.

Actually, not ALL the weapons on Power Tool Pursuit suck, because the best ones to use (once you decide to continue on past the very first level) are the flamethrower and the lightning gun, since they both have good hitboxes and can attack through walls and ceilings, which is very useful in a game where many enemies take eight million hits to kill, have long invincibility times after being hit, and have access to ranged attacks. The nailgun is an OK weapon in helping to clear out the smaller pests, but try to avoid the chainsaw since its hitbox on that weapon is kind of weird, and stay as far away from the dynamite as you can because its attack range is pathetically small and the weapon itself is awkward to use.﻿

Well that criteria would make every freaking weapon suck now wouldn't it? That said I understand what you're trying to say, that marginally, the lightning gun and the flamethrower are better than other guns (in my opinion however the flamethrower sucks due to its range and lack of angle).

I like reviews like the "Spielberg Games" and "Schwarzenegger Games". If those games each had their own video, it'd just drag out to long and probably be padded with shitty skits.Some games deserve more attention and longer reviews, but if you can say everything you're going to say in a couple minutes, why drag it out?

After seeing his "Pit Fighter" review, I wish he got to the "ending" of the game, just to see how he will react to a flashing "Game Over" screen. I guess he didn't figure out you could just spam only punches with Ty to beat it and to just move up or down immediately, if you get knocked down.

Actually, I think he just made it private. I did notice though it wasn't up anymore, which is kind of funny, seeing how he seemed like he was trying to shift focus to that, and he made that video private, yet still has his video showcasing his failed game up.

I'd have thought he'd put that one on private, and left the PotP video up.

I think his worst moment was claiming he would go back to his earlier style of reviews after he was done with the story, only to do reviews of Die Hard, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek in that style before actually advancing the storyline with Power Rangers. And it still isn't finished.

James Rolfe has posted a 16-minute update on the AVGN movie with lots of general chatter about the massive amount of stuff he accomplished this year. It really contrasts Bores' lack of any meaningful achievement during the same year:

Is that girl in school? Because if she is, then I bet that she tells everybody at school, "Hey! My dad's The Irate Gamer! You should check him out!". Well, I bet those kids are too young to go on the internet anyways...Also first time commenting...

I bet if Emmy really was Chris's daughter, he would have credited her as "Emmy Bores" since, you know, his ego is fucking huge. Besides, she was a way better actor and voice actor than Chris could ever hope to be.