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Heart 2 Heart: Body Image

7:20 PM

Ahh, May 14th, I remember you so fondly for all of the laughter and tears from last year's post and video. The post I am talking about was my first Heart 2 Heart where I recorded myself with my bare face, telling you guys about how I struggled with acne for half my life.

In lieu of the anniversary of this very open, very beautifully vulnerable holiday I wanted to record another Heart 2 Heart speaking about a topic that has been pressing upon my heart lately: Body Image.

Last year's video here:

I didn't intend for all of my Heart 2 Heart episodes to be without makeup, but somehow I think it keeps me and the audience more honest. In a way, it does take some bravery to put yourself up there in front of thousands of people just waiting to get hit by a bunch of twisted comments reiterating all the things you are self-conscious about, but I think it's also cathartic too.

I'm not the type of person who seeks out tons of admiration and it really turns my insides when I see comments from girls who seem to put bloggers and youtubers up on some kind of pedestal, as if they are idols, and stating how sad they are about their own lives, bodies, faces, or situations. Obviously it is very difficult to show people in 5 or 10 minutes who you truly are as a person. We do put up our best faces for our videos and pictures so it's easy to be fooled by the smoke and mirrors. At the end of the day, we are all human with our imperfections.

In terms of body image, I've mentioned this a bit here and there but my body size has made it very difficult for me to find clothes and shoes that fit... on top of all of the mean comments I've been called for it throughout my entire life. If I had a dime for every lewd comment a guy made about my height, or a snarky person saying I need to eat a burger, or cruel girls who tell me I look anorexic, I would be a very rich lady.

Somehow in our society it is completely unacceptable to tell an overweight person that they should "lose weight, fatty" but to say "you look so bony, eat a sandwich" it's totally okay. Why is that? It's a popular message to say that women are beautiful at any size except when they are skinny. I'm sure you've heard women themselves complaining saying, "Who wants a woman with no curves?" and "Women with no curves look like 12 year old boys." I'm not saying one or the other is right, I'm just saying for goodness sakes, can we just accept who we are, whatever our size?

It's so easy to put others down because of our own insecurities but the answer is not in pointing fingers and degrading others, especially for things they can't change. Instead we need to stop and take a good look in the mirror and accept who we are today, just as we are. Only then can we use the fun stuff like makeup, hairstyling, and fashion to honestly express who we are and not just what we want others to think we are.

Yes, I know I am skinny. I used to feel insecure about my spine looking like a stegosaurus. I hated wearing tank tops because my shoulders were bony. I hated how my wrists and knees looked because of how pronounced they are. But the thing is, is I don't actually weigh any differently than when I felt that way in middle school. The only thing that changed is my perception about my body and that if I am healthy IT'S OKAY!

Obviously, I still struggle with a lot of acne and skin issues and my skin is actually worse at the moment than when I did last year's post! It's funny because I actually feel more confident posting this time around because I realized that sharing real insecurities and truth helps others in a powerful way. I hope me putting myself out there encourages you to feel better about what struggles you may have going on in your lives as well.

Here's to accepting the things we cannot change, improving the things we can, and always, always having hope for the future no matter where things may be now.

Thank you so incredibly much to those out there who have encouraged me to love myself and to have the courage to share my struggles with everyone. I can't say that I'd have been able to do this 10 years ago but I am a much stronger, more confident woman now for having been through what I have endured in the past. If you feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, trust me, there's a reason you are going through what you are and you wouldn't be able to relate to others if you didn't go through it, so see every difficulty as a blessing.

Please do let me know if you decide to also take part in "bloggers with no makeup" week. If you'd like me to link your blog entry or video, I will add them the to end of this post. :)

Check out these beautiful, strong girls and their Bloggers With No Makeup/Body Image posts:

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This post really tugged at my heart. Often times women blame men for having high standards and how men make them feel like they're never good enough but I feel that most of the time, women look at other women and set up this "standard" of what a beautiful woman looks like. It's not right, but it happens. But it just so turns out that everyone is indeed imperfect and it's absolutely okay to be imperfect. I guess that realization sometimes just comes a little late for some people. I really liked this post, I rarely comment but I thought I'd like to share this :)

Great message Jen! It is true that people feel they have a right to criticize someone for being skinny, I'm not sure why that is. There are so many people of different sizes and it's just who we are and I think as women we should be supporting each other and not tearing each other down. We all have our own insecurities but it's important to accept ourselves as we are and be happy and confident. There are so many more important issues to be worrying about and it's upsetting that image is the one we tend to focus on. I completely admire your courage and bravery for putting yourself out there. Lord knows I couldn't do it :P but I'm ok with that and I focus on the positives things in my life and the aspects of myself that I love and accept :)

Hi Jane, I think this is my 1st time respond to your post after following you for so long. ^.^ I'm not too good in talking but I impress how brave you show to the public what you think and how you are.

Because you hold an Asian type of body so is normal for you hard to find suitable cloths at US or any other country. If you travel to Asia, you will find tons of cloths that suit your body. People critic you because they do not face such a problems or issues that you face. Very often I believe, when non-Asian travel to Asia country they will need to buy a size L instead of size S as they usual do. So don't feel sad of the body size. Often people critic I'm so short and skinny too, but I told them "I like to be short and skinny is just best suit my height!, if I'm chubby and short I'll look s like a 'ball'.." and "I can squeeze in the crowd because I'm a small!!". haha..

About ache, I do not have this problem but I do have a bad black head and dark circle. Often people will think I'm not understand their ache problems but I do just like my own problem.

Don't think to change your self because of people bad comments and you wanted to impress them. Be truly your self and believe in your self will made you shine in front of people.

What I'd like to know is when it finally became unacceptable for people to make comments to those who are overweight, because I think I missed that memo.

I got tons of inappropriate comments as a teenager, when I was skinny, and then I developed a thyroid problem and, not surprisingly, the comments didn't stop, they just changed. I am probably more healthy than most people, but who is anyone else to judge when they don't know that I actually GAINED 10 pounds when I quit soda 2 years ago!

I've been on both sides of the fence, and in all honesty, I can't see it being biased. People need to stop perpetuating stereotypes and myths, period.

What irks me is when people remark about how skinny I am and that I should be eating more. I don't see myself as being skinny but that's its a healthy weight. Perhaps its due to the growing population of overweight and obese people in America that people like me stand out. There a person in my class who made an insensitive comment about how I should eat more. That's a load of bs. I even get that from my mom. Plus she makes disparaging remarks about how when I buy fitted clothes that they are too tight, and ought be sized up.

You look great without makeup. I suffer from acne my whole life and I have the deep scarring even until today. If you see my post on Derm10 skincare you will know that your skin is much much better than mine. thanks for sharing.

Jen, you are just too lovable! I have the same issues — oily skin, acne, short, flat as a board. Ahh, the joys of being Asian, and having Asian relatives. Please make more videos like this that I can cry to cathartically whenever I feel bad about myself.

Hii!I just want to say thank you. Such an awesome post, and I have been struggling with a lot of what you said in your video. I'm pretty skinny too, but it's just my genetics and I was made fun of constantly in hs, being called anorexic and people remarking how I might blow away in the wind or get lots of broken bones because I look so frail, so I definitely can relate to you.You are such an inspiring person, and I love your motto of accepting things we can't change and having hope for the future :) thank you for posting this!! If only I could have seen this in high school :)

Great post. I love your honesty and how positive you are. I think you're a great role model for younger women/girls--and for contemporaries and older women as well!

I'm not super skinny, but I am in the oft-derided "size 2 and under" zone and also sort of on the tall side for my locale, so I get the sandwich comment a lot. It's ironic because I actually love to eat, and burgers are my most favorite food! It took me a very long time to find it in me to understand why women would tell me I looked like I needed a sandwich, and even longer to love my body for what it was. Hell, my body isn't perfect, but I love it the way it is and I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's. I hope the people who tell me to eat a sandwich learn to see their bodies that way, too!

Haha, I always thought it was funny how people always expect people to be perfectly sized, perfectly weighted. I've heard tons of people talk smack about people who are too skinny or overweight. It's annoying because those people always find something demeaning to say when sometimes the people they criticize can't help being who they are. I always think people who talk bad about others aren't worth listening to. It's your body and I don't know why you would be ashamed of it and allow others to make you feel bad. You can try to change, but sometimes you can't so you can only accept and love who you are. :) I'm glad you accept who you are!

Great post Jen! I've been following your blogs and you've truely been an inspiration. I've learned to accept me for who I am and work with what I've got as a result of watching your make-up tutorials and tips. My overall look and confidence has improved because of you. Thanks Jen - keep on bloggin! :)

Isn't body image something strange? The way we learn to think certain shapes are ideal... You said you had a hard time during junior high when people said you didn't have girly shapes, I had the opposite problem...I am not overweight, but I have huge hips and was always very self conscious about it. Specially because my mom has it too, and she hates that about her and me...When I was about 7 yo, I was involved in a car crash and hate to take cortisone (I had partial face muscle paralisys) and that made me chubby for a long time. I heard I wasn't pretty enough for so long I believed it.The results? I got anorexic/orthorexic when I was 19 yo... I am 5'10" and weighted 103lbs... I was never thin enough because my hips weren't model sized, so I kept losing weight...And then people started to say I looked like a stick and that I should eat more... I remember thinking "how can they say that? Isn't thin what's supposed to be beautiful?"...

I still struggle with my body image, I got most of my weight back since my anorexic phase...But I try to think that even though I don't like what I see, there are people that do like.

Anyways...Jen you were so brave to talk about this topic :) You are such a cute girl, I really can't picture people saying nasty things about you :/ Many times people will say awful things because they are frustrated with themselves. Don't take it personally ;)

First of all, let me say that I love your blog :) I only stumbled across it recently and I love the stuff that you post. It inspires me with lots of different ideas for make-up and fashion. Kudos to you for making such an honest video about yourself. I can totally relate to your experiences with your body size as I myself am also a petite Korean ^^v and have heard my share of rude comments from others. I thought I had trouble finding shoes (my feet are between 4.5 and 5), but you have it way worse! I totally feel for you. I also have to spend a bit more on shoes occasionally because of the difficulty in finding my size T.T But like you, I just suck it up, accept myself for who I am and look at the bright side of life. I am just thankful to be alive and to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me.

there r many people who dont give a shit on commenting ye know..and those people r selfish and insecure. i bet those who r telling ya ur skinny r fat ass women! coz honestly ur not skinny O_O i love u much! saranghe! hehe thanks for posting this! its like a message to all women and no brain commenters on the net. i hope someday they disappear hehe. XOXO

This is a very inspirational post Jen. Everyone is going to be criticised whether we like it or not, that is just how cruel society is, but I'm glad you rise above it!

However, I disagree with you, when you said:

"Somehow in our society it is completely unacceptable to tell an overweight person that they should "lose weight, fatty" but to say "you look so bony, eat a sandwich" it's totally okay."

We are at the complete opposite of the weight spectrum, you're petite and slim, and I'm average height, and overweight/curvy, but I've also have had criticism, more times than I count. I think society is completely warped, and we live in a society that is constantly telling us we're not good enough (when that is a lie.)

My point is, everyone will always have something negative to say, if we don't look like the women in the media. But it's time that we, the public, stop giving into the media & society, and we should be happy with who we are, naturally! And I'm glad that you're happy with who you are, and you should be, because you're amazing, and you're the type of role model that young girls/women should see in the media.

I absolutely HATE girl on girl body image attacks. It's so dirty and sleazy, and you'd think that as women...with all the weird issues we have coming to terms with our own bodies...that we'd know better than to attack others.

Thanks for such an honest video. I have struggled with the skinny taunts all my life also, and have always wondered the same thing... why people think it is ok to tell a slim person to eat more, when It would never be exceptable to tell someone larger to eat less.

Im glad to hear that other slim people have the same issues. Makes me feel a whole lot more excepting of myself.

You are so beautiful! Thank you for sharing this message. I was really moved by everything that you said. I loved watching both your videos the one from this year and last. I definitely struggle with body image but I'm trying to overcome them!

You're too cute Jen! Yes, I'm skinny like you and my friends always say I'm too skinny and I need to eat too. Seriously I eat a lot but I exercise to keep toned and fit so I don't gain weight. I went to visit Korea 2 weeks ago, and yes, everyone there is skinny. Hihi, I'm normal over there.

I'm an even bigger fan of yours now after watching and reading your second Heart 2 Heart. I love your beautiful and cheerful pics in this post. Thank you for being so honest Jen!! It takes courage, so I hope these positive comments reinforce that so you don't ever stop! Rock on!!!!!!!!!!

Jen, I commend you on your bravery. Honestly, I commend anyone who posts their vids on youtube. There are so many people who make nasty comments just for the sake of being a jerk. I can see how it can be quite wearing. You should only feel sad for them. It's sad that there is something lacking in their lives that they have to put people down just to make them feel good about themselves.

Whenever these people get to you, I hope you realize that there a whole slew of us who support you and think you're awesome!

It is my first comment over here, but I need to say that I follow your blog regularly and it is a huge inspiration for myself. I never had problems with myself and even though I don't have a perfect body I always was quite popular with boys. But nevertheless I learnt so much from your blog (and to quite honest from extrapetite as well). What I wanted to say is that my friend called me a blossom that beautifully grows up when I started picking tips from your blog and adapting them to myself. So if that is of any help you should be aware of the fact that there are so many people from around the world (I live in Poland) that got inspired by your work. I think you should keep doing what you are doing. One person that you helped somehow meets thousands of those armchair ciritics I suppose, so keep your head high and don't give a damn about what other people think, because it's their problem if they feel so insecure about themselves that they have to release their tension on someone else. Cheers and I am looking forward for another post.

Wow! I love this post. It is one that I'm going to keep on record and watch over and over again. Very inspiring and thanks so much for your voice <3

Since I've been following your blog, I've learned so much and above all I learned to accept and love myself the why I am.

I'm also Asian and have not mono but eyelids that I found not big enough, and I would use eyelid tapes + eyelashes and makeup to make my eyes look exaggeratedly big to resemble those dolly-like Japanese girls. But at the end of the day when I removed everything I would find myself facing who I really was and feel frustrated, unhappy about it.

Thanks to you I learned to love myself and features I inherit from my loving parents. I will always remember your words when you said "don't wear makeup as a mask to hide..." for two months I stopped using eyelid tapes, fake lashes, and I imposed myself to wear simple natural makeup that would only make my face look fresh while still like the person I really am. Day by day I was loving the woman I saw in the mirror and feel comfortable with my complexions AND imperfections.

I learned to love my eyes the way they look, and I learned to accept the fact that I have imperfect skin too. I believe if I haven't met you on this blog and heard your words, I would have probably taken more times than I did to accept and love the woman I am.

I learned how important it was to love myself and consequently understood that it is the key to my happiness. That's what freed me from the reject and hardness I used to put on myself to look like anyone else but who I am. Envying others is definitely wasting our times and the beautiful person we are.

You are a true inspiration. I've started my own blog recently and it actually took me time to do it because I wasn't sure. I was in fact afraid and underestimated myself, but again I read your words and what you said about the time you first started this blog and incited me to open my own.

You are a true inspiration to me and you are so pretty from the inside out. You're a model and an example to follow for me.

Jen.I really want to thank you for making this video. I've been struggling lately so much about my own confidence and what other people are telling me about me. I feel like I'm constantly being judged by other people, even my own close friends. And your video really inspired me to just... not take what they say to heart. There are so many people in this world and not everyone is going to like me, you, any one. And we just have to accept it. You are truly amazing (: Thank you so much. You definitely brightened my day.

This is going to sound so soppy but your post really did touch me, especially your video as I could see how much you meant everything you said. Being Asian, the thing I've struggled with the most and still do is the fact that I'm naturally curvy. I don't have a naturally skinny and straight frame that is more typical of Asian girls and I've hated it for most of my life. I still do sometimes because I just feel FAT. I'm normal and seen as healthy by Western standards but when I go to Asia, if I have a good appetite, people comment on it, implying that's why I'm the size I am because so many girls restrict their diet to achieve the desired skinny figure-type. My grandma thinks because I'm curvy and not straight, that I eat a lot and she tells me not to eat so much. I hated it. I still do. I still haven't got the nerve to stand up to her but then again, we're taught not to disrespect our elders...so I just ignore her or try my best to avoid her because her comments still hurt me too much for me to deal with.

I started developing mild cystic acne about 2 years ago and I was shocked and really upset as I've had good skin all my life. I'm lucky, I know. But when it happened, I dealt with it the best I could by switching skin regimes and using more make-up, which I didn't like as I never ever wore BB cream/foundation before and I didn't like covering my skin. But showing it made me feel worse. Again, I'm lucky, in the recent months, my skin has gone back to how it used to look and I'm very thankful. I do give a lot of credit to Estee Lauder's ANR. I thank you for that because I switched to ANR, Olay's Night Recovery Cream and Eucerin's SPF30 moisturiser (perfect as I'd been searching for a non-greasy, light, high SPF moisturiser for yearss) from looking at your Skincare post, and it's been really well adapted to my skin.

As for the judging comments, Jen, you are really beautiful and attractive...as a person but also physically, very much so. Because of that, I'm sure many people are jealous at how pretty you are so they find things to criticise you about to make themselves feel better because they see you as being super pretty and feel like they have to put you down a bit to make you 'less' pretty, in their eyes.

I loved your comment at the end about enduring difficulties so we can better serve others because of having gone through it. It reminds me very much of James 1:2-5.

Your post has reminded me, most of all, to be proud and happy with myself. I really admire the approach you take in a very mature way. I'm a very sensitive person and I still take criticism too personally. It's hard not to but I'm trying. I think I'll come back to this post again and again when I feel down because it is inspiring to see you fight and hold your head high and be proud of who you are.

Hey Jen, :DI found your blog through a search of acne regimen way back when.... well, long time ago! I've been suffering from stubborn, scarring, persistent acne on face & back since the age of 18 yrs (I'm 26 now). I can totally relate to the fact how acne scars more than your skin; it scars your personality and heart. I've days when I become so sad thinking about my baby-soft glowing skin, and right when it was time to go off to college and dress up and party, I started breaking out, bad. I sat their like a wallflower feeling conscious about my face. Everybody would give advice, from aunts & friends to even janitors! I still struggle with it. It even left a keloid (ever enlarging red, itchy scar, with no treatment) on my arm. And now people ask me about it as if they have seen a tumour growing on my arm!

You also opened my eyes about the weight issue. I've struggled with being over weight since before my teens. I've had many traumatizing experiences with it. But I never realized that slim girls can have body image issues too and they can be equally traumatized. Though I've never said anything to a skinny girl ever, but I also haven't realized that they might be in emotional pain because of reasons not very different from mine. It just shows how much pressure is there on ALL women to fit into this perfect image of what is beautiful. It's really great that you shared it with everyone.

Lastly, I don't know if you got time to read all these comments but I wanted to say that, the reason which made me stick to your blog and follow it regularly is because you are a good-at-heart person. You don't put a fake show of your diva-ness and keep it real.

And makes you a real diva in my opinion. :)

I've read some of your old posts over the time and I can see a lot of me and my best friend in you (lol... seriously!) We are all about everyone living happily together, all things being pretty and lovable, everyone caring and sharing... and it goes on... :)

I'm so glad I came to know you in whatever way in this life. Always be the same sweet person.

Your post is powerful and you make some really good points: striving for health and self-acceptance is a much better route to take than worrying about how you look to others. Recently I decided that the only way I could develop a healthy, strong body image was to ignore others' comments, ignore all the nonsense in the media, and say "actually, *I* get to decide whether my body is okay". That takes more self-confidence than I have right now, but I'm working on it, and your post is another inspiration. :)

I have to agree with Shattered and LaCara's comments, though - it shouldn't be acceptable to say mean things because someone is overweight, but sadly a lot of people think it is. No matter what your body's like - tall, petite, slim, heavy, small-chested, large-chested, whatever - someone out there will always feel entitled to criticise it. I feel that one way we can fight back against body-shaming is to empathise and find common ground with others who've experienced it for different reasons. Part of that is just acknowledging the experiences others are having. As a tallish woman, I've never had to deal with people mistaking me for younger than I am because of my height. That doesn't mean it isn't happening to others.

Mainstream "positive body image" campaigns can often veer into "curves are good, skinny is bad" territory, but people who are seriously into size/body acceptance are often very welcoming towards thin people. I used to follow a few size acceptance blogs, and the moderators were pretty strict about calling people out for any anti-thin comments. One of my favourite bloggers on the subject is Marianne Kirby (The Rotund), and this is a direct quote from her blog: "If you are a size 00, you too can advocate for fat people – so that people will stop telling fat people that all they need to do is eat less and exercise more. If you are a size 32, you too can advocate for body acceptance – so that people will stop telling people who wear a size 00 that they are so lucky to be anorexic. No one is too fat for fat/size/body acceptance. No one is too thin."

Sorry for the length of this comment! There's a lot to say on this subject, I guess.

I started to follow you blog quite recently. I don't follow a lot of beauty related blogs, actually, your blog might be the only one. But the difference between you and all the other beauty blogger is that you seem so honest. When I watch you videos (not only this with no makeup and personal talk) I really feel like your a very honest and down-to-earth person, you're not shallow at all, and for that I love you. I love every single inch of you.

My world is very shallow. Tho I'm a very kind person. One day I decided "I am beautiful". And I lived my life like that for about two or three years, confident like no other. It was the best years of my life. Then something happened. I don't even know what, but all of a sudden I started to hate myself, I still can't find the door out of my dark hole.

Hi Jen I'm a subscriber of both your youtube channel and blog but I've never commented before. However I feel the need to comment on this and pride you on your bravery and honesty in this post :) Honestly, I love all your posts they're awesome! You seem very real and genuine in both your heart to heart vids. And you are right, videos like this really do help other people. You just don't know it because they might not comment.

Ooh, regarding the too skinny comments, I totally understand you as I've been there myself! Like you and a few others, I too always wondered how it was somehow acceptable to comment on a skinny person but not on an overweight person. It's the same thing and hurts just as much. Fortunately, I've now gained some weight and look better. However, I do also think that because you're not in an Asian country, you can appear more "out of place"/"not normal ie too skinny" because most asians are naturally petite -I am one as well. If you were to go to an asian country, trust me gal, you will fit right in! In fact, there will probably be tons of girls skinnier than you, shorter than you etc etc.

People who make nasty comments tend to be those who actually lack self confidence and perhaps feel inferior and are actually jealous of you, and by putting you down, it makes them feel better about themselves. Some, however, might be truly genuine and they might truly worry for your health and think you might be restricting food etc etc but now that you have explained yourself, they should back off and accept that this is you. You can't change your metabolism. As long as YOU know that you are healthy, thats all that matters!

Body image is something that no one will ever be satisfied with most of the time - you always want what you don't have. An overweight girl will be DYINGG for your body and for the skinny comments you get! A curvy girl will wish that she had that girl's bod with almost no boobs, possibly due to the comments she might have got about her boobs or not being able to find clothes to fit/not make her look like a tramp etc etc, and vice versa. The only way is to accept that everyone is different and that is what makes you unique and YOU! You have clearly done this well.

Keep up all your great youtube videos and great mature, real, attitude! Love you girl! xoxo

great post jen.. It was a good motivation for me.. It makes me realize that every women have something that is not perfect.. Nobody perfect!I am worry about my skin look to others too. I do go to dermatologist too, and it help me to get a nice skin. Thanks for sharing this..

Another sincere, honest and deep thought popst Jen, you are so beautiful with and without makeup because your ineer beauty is so evident to everyone, I love your smile s lot!In our society there is. Lot of. People who doesn't have what we have and they criticize us for it. They fo do specially to people who seem vulnereable. So being strong Is important to keep away those comments.I totally sgrre about how people tend to blame skinny girls to br skinny or to make ovreeright people less confident about themselves, it's unfair to blame us for doing nothing, or doing the right things, like eat healthy and workout to keep fit. I think those comments come from the fact that they cant do it, so they want us to feel bad about doing it too. You know what? Instead of feeling bad about those Comments we should shoe them that we are proud of who we are and what we do and mostly importantly that we are happy with ourselves, just like what you did here.

Your video speaks loads to me. I struggled not with acne but serious eczema from birth till i was 12. Till this day, I still have sensitive skin which causes recurrence. It is all very emotionally trying.

If it's not too personal, may I ask you a somewhat philosophical question? If, and only if, it is very likely that your kid(s) will inherit your acne gene and go through the same extent of trauma that you once did, would you still have children?

I have met a wonderful man but i'm terrified that if i have kids they will suffer the same emotional trauma that i did.

Hi Jen -- Thank you for your post and being vulnerable and putting yourself out there. It was a powerful message and you're blessed to be in a position where you can deliver that message effectively. I'll think about doing a response video on my makeup blog, I really enjoyed listening to your struggles and successes, so thanks :)

Dear Jen, although you are petite, your message is very powerful. Self-image or body-image is definitely something that everyone is dealing with. Especially girls in their teens or 20's. I am a chubby girl and after 25 years of living, I finally accepted that I cannot be as skinny as those girls on poster/ad/commercials. I start to love myself more. Even though I've not been through what you've been through when you were young, I think some people are very insensitive in saying those things. Most of the time, the reason why they wld say sth like that it's because they wanted to be like you but could never be. So the only way to make them feel better is to bring you down. But girl!! stay strong. And I trust you can do that. and Last but not least, Thanks for video. Love, Christy

Hi Jen! This post is really something. It moved me a lot. I had the same problem when I was younger and people would make the same kind of comments. So I can totally understand your disappointement. I think you're gorgeous despite your imperfections ;) The recipe is to love ourselves, the rest will follow.

hye jen..im farah from malaysia...this is my first time watching ur videos...i can see the sadness from ur eyes when u talked about acne and body size...dont worry, nobody perfect...not me, not u nor other people...

i love ur video about body type,size and so on..it gave other people opinion especially fatty people to realize that skinny or being thin girl doesnt mean that they will look gorgeous or pretty...the important thing is to be healthy...we have to learn to accept who we are and what we are...

jen, even though u felt sad about ur body size, acne or whatsoever u should think that u might have something that other people cannot have it..u have pretty teeth and i dont have it..(example) hehhehehe...btw nice to know u...hope we can meet one day.. =)

clare: I would absolutely still have children. Actually, your children will be blessed to have parents that understand what they are going through. You will be able to take the steps early to treat the problem as best you can and to encourage confidence in them for their inner strength. Going through hardships gives them character as long as they have a good foundation of moral support. :)

I really admire your confidence in putting yourself out there, barefaced. You're beautiful the way you are. As someone who also has to deal with skin problems , this post struck a chord with me. Thanks jen!

I admire you for your inner beauty even more than your outer beauty. I have a similar body size to yours, (5'1", 95 lbs) and I was (and still am) often teased about how short and skinny I am. I always had an inferiority complex compared to the taller girls who seemed to tower above me and could easily find flattering pants and dresses. It takes a lot of strength to come and own what others see as flaws. True and lasting beauty comes from the inside and anyone who really takes the time to get to know you will see your inner beauty above all else.

People can be nasty any way you slice it. There is a free-for-all on thinner/smaller girls. Women are jealous of each other. Take it as a compliment, they are expressing their own insecurities. They are in pain. Not you. I've been underweight and I've been chubby. I've heard everything. Right now, I am my own perfect weight and I eat whatever the heck I want. I'm older than you and eventually it will all even out and you get to feel more comfortable in your skin. I wish this for everyone.

Dear Jen,I like your blog better than others not beacuse you have a much better skill than other beauty gurus but beacuse you are a nice and geniue person. Trying hard to be beautiful is a life-long project for girls. Trying hard to find yourself is also a life-long project. Like you!

Very inspiring indeed! I have small stature myself and I always get picked on, sizing me up or whatever! I actually responded with smile and like arch one of my eyebrow, it's like telling them, yeah and you think you look good! That's it! And then I tend to just go away and continue with the rest of my agenda! I don't give fuss with others who think highly of themselves, they're no better than I am!

Hi Jane. I'm really glad I watched your video because I'm skinny too and I've struggle with it since I was 6. Right now I'm 22 and I weigh 100lb. It is something I'm still trying to accept. Back then I was so ashamed of myself that I would wear oversize men shirts and jeans so none would notice how skinny I was. When I started college that's where I started wearing skinny jeans. It took a year for me to get use to that. People never guess why I dress like that so every one would think that I can't dress myself or have any style even though I do. But I understand why they would think that. So yeah I just feel like sharing my experience after watching your story. I don't get to tell people how I feel. I'm a type of person that will hold everything in. But Thank You for sharing. It really helps me know that someone out there knows how it feels.

Hey Jen, checking your page for updates is a regular thing that I do quite often but I've never left comment... just wanna tell you that You Are Amazing!! I love your posts, your sharing, your courage and positive attitude. There is absolutely no reason to let these mean comments affect your life or your mood because people make that kind of comments are mostly the ones feeling insecure, so they 'attack' others... hope all is well and have a good day =)

unni, you're so beautiful and don't let anyone else tell you differently!! It doesn't matter how other people perceive you, as long as you are confident in yourself, that's all you need!! Love you! You're truly inspirational :)

Never commented but have been following you for few months. Thank you for doing this post, you're courageous and beautiful, inside and out. As a fellow believer, I hope this message will spread to all girls struggling with their self-image and lack of self love and assurance (which is pretty much all girls, right?), and realize their true worth in Christ. With or without makeup. (although I have to say I love all your tutorial as I'm asian myself:)

Oh Jen! You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for taking the time everyday and sharing with us, the true you. It makes girls (boys too) feel wonderful and thankful for ourselves and how we born and what we grew into being. I, too when I was younger has SO many insecurities about my skin color and my freckles and even the shape of my eyes. But as I have grown older, I'm so thankful and love my features that I was given by God.But thank you jen for coming out with the courage to show your insecurities and not let fear hide you. I'm an even bigger fan of you now and always will follow you.Lots of love!!!

This is my first time commenting on your blog or youtube channel after watching your videos for over a year. I just wanna say you're one of my favorite beauty gurus on youtube. Haha, I wish I had a big sister like you =). I found this video/post to be very inspiring and thought-provoking, so I decided to write a blog post on it. It's my first post, so the site is still very barebones >.<

This is a really good post about body image and I'm sorry that you've had to endure so many mean comments about your body throughout your life. But it seems as if these comments have made you stronger and more aware of the unrealistic standards put upon women to look a certain way in society. However, I was irked by your comment about it being "unacceptable" to tell an overweight person to lose weight because it still happens quite frequently. I hear fat jokes ALL the time and judgment/derision toward overweight people. When discussing issues of body image, it's important to not pit one type of body against another type of body since we are all fighting the same battle.

I think people also struggle with how they look facially - I wrote a post about it here http://procrastinatingpretty.blogspot.com/2010/12/latest-monday-post-ever-not-quite-in.htmland I think some things apply to your body as well. Great post! You're an inspiration =)

Well, I certainly applaud and agree with your general message of body acceptance and being kind to oneself. It is a message that can never be said too many times given all of the impossible and misogynistic standards that women face today. However, I find comparisons between the hardships you face as a thin person to those of an overweight person a little bit trite. Complaining about how hard it is to be too thin is a little bit like complaining about being too wealthy or too beautiful. The fact is that in this society, all of those things are socially acceptable and even desirable. I am not trying to diminish the fact that it is painful for *anyone* to hear criticism or insults, but I do think there is a bit of a lack of perspective going on here.

I do agree with you that it seems more acceptable to tell a skinny woman to eat a sandwich than to tell an overweight person to lose weight.

YES there are still people that discriminate and make 'fat jokes', of course there are and it's wrong. But it is much more likely and 'acceptable' for someone to say straight out to your face "Oh, you're too skinny" than "Oh, you're too fat". If I walked up to a friend and said "You're way too fat, go on a diet" in a joking manner, people would be outraged... however if I walked up to a skinny friend and said "You're way too skinny, go and eat something!" people would most probably just laugh. Because it's deemed 'offensive' to call someone fat, but not offensive to call someone skinny. I'm not saying one is worse than the other, I'm saying that a lot more people will be straight out with it and say it to your face (friends and family included) whereas when you are overweight it's not considered nice or polite.

I found this blog of yours on body image to be poignant, inspiring, and thoughtful. I continue to battle with acne that arise not only on my face, but my body as well. I've had acne ever since I was 17 and I am now 27. I've met with a dermatologist two years ago, and she has helped me with my cystic acne by using topical benzoyl peroxide, salicylic acid, clindamycin, and Retin-A. I also use Rujeva Minerals (makeup), Coastal Classic Creations (body wash and shampoo), and Badger (sunscreen) products for my skin because they have natural/organic ingredients (I have atopic dermatitis and very sensitive/thin skin). My acne eruptions are not as pervasive as they were 10 years ago, but it's something that I'm not completely free from. All I can do is work on maintaining my skin by doing what I can to nurture it. I work in a job where I'm meeting and helping people all the time. So, they always see my face. And even though my mother taught me that true beauty comes from within, I still feel self-conscious about my skin. I want to put my best foot forward, you know? I want to look healthy and feel healthy. Even though, I exercise, get 8 hours of sleep on most days, get some fresh air and sunlight, and try to eat a balanced diet, I still have problem skin. I know that there is no cure for acne; it can only be controlled. I've been doing a lot of research on the subject, and I found that certain carbohydrates (fruits, grains, starchy vegetables) could aggravate the skin of those who are predisposed to getting acne. These carbohydrates increase the level of glucose (sugar) into your blood stream quickly. Your pancreas produces insulin (hormone) which helps balance out the amount of glucose in your blood (prevents you from going into a coma and dying). This can still cause inflammation and stress on your body, however, which in turn makes your hormone trigger the secretion of sebum (oil) that can potentially mix with dead skin cells that clog your pores, where bacteria then accumulates, and your immune system works to kill the bacteria; thus, creating acne. Milk is also stated to aggravate acne because of the hormones found in cow's milk. There is so much information out there; this is just a part of it. I do believe that foods affect your skin even though my own dermatologist doesn't agree =P. She does not believe that certain foods could cause acne, but I pay to differ. I fully enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the great work. Too bad you're not on Xanga =). I have an account there in which I blog from time to time.

By the way, how often do you wash your makeup brushes and what do you use to wash them with in addition to water?

Jen, I'm happy you feel stronger and more confident and secure about yourself now :) I LOVE YOUR videos and blog. Very pleasant to watch it. Once again congratulations for featuring on Sephora. And Good luck sweetheart.

Hi Jen, I've followed your blog for awhile now w/o commenting and I couldn't agree with you more. I've been skinny my whole life, w/my weight usually hovering around 90 lbs. at 5'2", and I'm used to the snide comments as well. It bothered me so much in college that I tried to gain weight by drinking a can of Ensure every day to get extra calories. But all the weight stuck to my belly. I feel alot more comfortable w/my weight now and embrace being able to eat whatever I want and stay skinny in a society where women focus so much on body image and weight. I think you're beautiful with or without makeup. =) Love Sunny (a fellow petite Korean gal)

I 100% agree with your comments about people still saying negative comments toward overweight people. It's not kind, it's not warranted, and it does happen. I hope that you can also see that the intention of my post is not to diminish the hardships overweight people face, but more to show my personal experience and empathy with having very hurtful implications and accusations about the health of my body based on looks alone. I want people of all shapes and sizes to love themselves for who they are, and to realize that everyone has SOMETHING that they face.

I have to respectfully disagree that "[c]omplaining about how hard it is to be too thin is a little bit like complaining about being too wealthy or too beautiful." The statement itself may be partially true, but I am not personally saying it is hard to be thin (other than in my clothes shopping). I am saying that it is hard being called anorexic which is neither socially acceptable nor desired in our culture.

I hope that with our combined experiences we can continue to spread the message of positivity about ourselves regardless of size because at the end of the day we all face criticism. :)

jen thanks for bringing up the issue.. it really motivates me.. i am an overweight and its sucks.. i used to be 85kg and seriously i have low confidence towards myself.. and no matter how much people say is alright u look cute.. thats to me is a lie.. coz after recently i lose weight to 70kg.. guys started flirting with me and everyone start to say i look better and i feel no matter how, today people still judge people by the looks.. and after watching ur video it really touch me.. coz seldom pretty girls like u will say such nice things and acknowledge people like me.. thank you jen u done a greeeaaatt job! btw u have beautiful teeth did u do anything to it?? :)))

Hi JenLuv u from heart 2 heart S2 ;)Great message, Im really touched.I had never imagined that people would say youre skinny and so on, its ridiculous, and I can imagine how hurtfull it is.But anyway thanks for sharing it.All my life i struggled about muy weight, when i was a kid i was so skinny and than fatty. its not easy, and its dificult to say so openly as u did. So congrats!Just to let u know, here in Japan (Im brazilian, but living here) most of stores do not have L sizes, ans its full os XXS sizes (even amaerican brands), and L size is waaaay smaller than american L size...so if u need something from here, let me know ;)

Jen- It's not obvious you have acne problems! Your skin looks great! And most importantly, you seem like a sweet, beautiful person inside. I totally agree with what you said! When I used to diet, people started noticing I was losing weight and criticized how I should eat more of this and that. But NO ONE EVER said anything about me eating too much or gaining weight. REally, everyone should mind their own business. hahahah

Hey jenn! I was wondering if sometime in the future you could do a tutorial about using loose glitter as makeup..

I recently got this mac glitter in neon 60's hot pink, and I've tried using it on my nails but I'm not quite sure what else I could use it for :) not very creative hahaif you could look into it that would be amazing! ♥

jen this is such a great video.. thumbs up! i guess this issues is wat most women face today.. no matter what sizes are you people will still have comment and opinion.. hahaha for me i'm ur opposite.. i'm overweight and my feet size 9.. and worst i'm living in malaysia which most of the clothes are small sizes.. so its hard for me to get my size.. most of the time i have to spend or buy only those brands like topshop, dorothy perkins and forever21 coz only thr got my sizes.. so its kinda sad.. but after watching ur video it kinda motivates me.. coz seriously i never see someone pretty like you would acknowledge people about being themselves.. coz i see most of the pretty girls only cares how nice they look.. so yah dun worry just ignore those awful comment coz ur awesome!! hhahaha seriously ur so real and i love watching ur video.. and i personally feel u look preeetyy and girl ur personality totally covers all ur so called imperfections! and u have beautiful teeth.. i love ur teeth.. ahahhaa did u do anything to it? XD keep it up jen.. will always support ya! *thumbs up* :))))

you teared me up with encouragement, jen. thank you~ i've been reading your blog since day 1 and have most definetely seen a huge growth in you and your blog. although we don't know each other in person, i feel that you a friend that can encourage and support all your readers with everything u share with us~ thanks :)

Jen, I love that you were brave enough to go out there and talk about this. To let others know that God made them the way they are and they don't need to change and they should accept that. I really appreciate that and I love your blog/channel!Jessa

hi jen =]i just watch ur "body image" videoand in a way i can relate to youmy mum was skinny as well before she give birthand its just the genes inside youbut my mum say that usually after you give birth , you will most likely put on abit more weight =]your still pretty inside and out jen =]love reading your blog/makeup tutorial/videos

Aww..Jen, I feel so much better about myself. :)I was struggling a bit for the past two years. The old sibling rivalry kind of got to me. It seemed like everyone thought my sister was the more beautiful one and all the guys were after her! It took a hit on my self esteem. But, today, I'm going to accept me for me. Besides, I have other desirable qualities worth chasing after, too. ;P

first of all, im really impressed with your courage, of which i perhaps have none.

i struggle with my insecurities all my life. the one physical imperfection i hate most about myself is my face shape.

in asia countries a small oval face shape is largely coveted. unfortunately, i have wide cheek bones and chubby cheeks and i have been laughed at all my life.

there were people who mocked me when i was little, which often ended up with me wondering if im an alien! there were nights i cried to myself wondering what's wrong with myself ):

but thank god i was given nice features, so that made up for it! people still love me for my eyes and smile and i strongly believe that for every thing we lack in, we are given something better in return.

(there are many asian celebrities who'd love to be as skinny as you!)

and i have learnt to build an immune system so strong that before people laugh at my round face, i laugh about it first.

feeling easy in our own skin is a kind of charm, that many do not possess.

so the next heart 2 heart talk you have, talk about your imperfections loudly and happily, absolutely nothing to be upset about :)

Totally, totally agree with you Jen! I made this point in one of my college classes and I was appalled when not a single one of them thought was a serious issue. ANY comments on people's physical appearance is just not cool.

hye jane..im from malaysia.i want to ask you for make-up tutorial inspired by the red-haired member of the group from 2in1 claps your hand music video.the part when they wore red and white outfit.her eyes are very dark but looks stunning! sorry for asking you on your blog,but when i think about k-pop..i was thinking about you..you are so cuteee..!hi hi..thanks ya ^_^

Jen, I really loved everything you said here! If people criticize and ridicule you, then they are just ignorant. I am also Asian like you and I totally understand and feel what you're are going through. Most Asian women have small body frame and us from Asia know that. You have mono lids because you are Korean. If people can only try to respect and be more open minded and people like you dont have to go through something like this. I am also going through what you have been through. I have severe acne breakout and have been dealing with it for about 2 years now. I get down sometimes but I get back up and try not to let it affect me much. I get offended when people who pretend that they care go up to me and say stuff like "try this soap", "try that remedy" but they dont really seem like they are concerned, more like curios and just want to get in to other people's lives.

I wish my acne would just go away. I also want to film youtube videos but my acne is whats stopping me. I know people from YouTube can get rude sometimes and say words that they really shouldnt say but still do..

You are totally perfect just the way you are and I like you not because you seem so cool and beautiful with make-up on but I admire you and have loved you more now because of your courage to film yourself bare face. Not every make-up guru can do that and you've just gotten more beautiful because of your courage. More power to you, Jen! xoxo SMILE!! :)

Hi Jen,The last "Heart 2 Heart" I got through that, even while actually, since I was 11 years too and know how you feel about it, I'm 22 now, and my skin is much better, of course,but is still hard. And those people who speak it are insensitive and childish or they are in the same situation and acting like that think they can feel better with themselves.

I'm sorry for the bad writing english is because I put it on google translator.

Thank you for your inspiring words. You really are a role model. I really love your blog and this current post made my day so much better :)

On another note, have you tried Delia's jeans? I am about the same height as you and Delia's petite jeans are a perfect length for me. And I know what you mean about finding size 4 shoes... it's extremely hard :(

Hi Jen, this is the very first comment I write ever, - and you were the first person I subscribed to on youtube. You are just so amazing! I know how hard it can be to find clothes; I'm very short (1,50 m), I have a small waist, but I'm very curvy, which makes it difficult to find well fitted tops and dresses. I also wear size 33-34 in shoes, so I have to pay a lot if I want high heel shoes. But as you, I have tried to learn to live with it, and I have to say, it doesn't bother me as much as it did 3 years ago. I just get my jackets and dresses altered, and I pay a little more for good quality shoes that lasts several years. All I need to find now is leather gloves that fit my small hands, but if I don't..? So what, there are so many more important stuff in this beautiful world! ^^ <3

Your heart to heart was beautiful. It hurts to even hear that there are people out there that get pleasure from bringing other people down, hurting their feelings just to make them feel good about themselves. Only strong people can handle it. So I'm happy your that strong person, still sharing you kind words with us! :D

Your beautiful, def not anorexic! The whole world knows there's petite women out there! Your one example and there are thousands more out there. heck even I'm only 5ft 2 inches and wheigh only 104. And I'm not close to anorexic. Its just how we are made :) People that say you are obviously haven't seen what anorexia is and need to be educated :)

I love that your here to spread your kind words and continue blogging and vlogging cuz the majority of us out there are following you cuz we love ya! :D Also it looks like I have skin just like you! :) This makes me happy to know someone else has the same issues I do :) Still look gorgeous! <3 I just wrote a novel as a comment, hopefully you read :) So smile girl! Your amazing!

"Only then can we use the fun stuff like makeup, hairstyling, and fashion to honestly express who we are and not just what we want others to think we are."

I love this sentence... I'm a new blogger and I struggled for a long time before deciding to put my face out to the world. I want to share makeup and beauty tips with friends yet I know the inevitable subjection to negative comments - people who just want to bring you down. Thanks for sharing with us your journey. BTW, you're actually considered normal sized in Asia. C'mon you're Asian! haha! I see people and am surrounded by friends your size in Singapore all the time.

Follow your blogs for a long long time, and just like what you've said in your video last year about your acnes skin, I adore you for beautiful skin and make-up skills, and fashion choices, and beautiful pictures.

Now I think I adore you more for your cuteness, sensation, inspiration and braveness. You have all the reasons to chin up and be proud of yourself, Jenny. And so proud that you are Asian, too.

THANK YOU FOR THIS. Seriously for years I've felt that it was completely unfair that people felt that it was okay to call skinny/thin girls "anorexic", "bulimic" or "all bones". I don't think people realize how hurtful such words are and are as equally as painful as calling an overweight person "obese". I used to cry so much in middle school over people remarking that I was way too thin and I even had a phase where I was forcing myself to eat more just so I could gain weight.

People need to understand that being healthy is what counts. Some girls are really just NATURALLY that thin and it has absolutely nothing to do with them not eating enough.

Jen, I just watched this video, and was shocked to know that you were bullied that much throughout your life just because you are skinny and petite. Let me just tell you objectively - you are a very beautiful and sweet girl. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Most people who say hurtful things are those who have a problem of insecurity themselves. They say things to hurt others so that they can feel superior. But as a matter of fact, it just means that they are inferior. Another reason why some people would say those hurtful words is that they are jealous of your beauty. So jealous that they have to hurt you to make them feel better. It's sad, but it's human nature. Don't let it get you. You can't choose to be taller for fatter, but you can choose to ignore those people. We all love you, Jen.

Hi Jen!I have a question regarding exfoliation and skin-care? Have you ever tried the Clarisonic Mia? I want to buy it, but I was hoping to hear from you about it?Also, since you're Korean, I wonder if you ever used Italy towels to exfoliate your skin? If you have, it is still better than other exfoliative methods?

This was an amazing post Jen! Wow-truly! I have struggled with image issues for the last couple of years...I dyed my hair back to natural- hated it- felt insecure and had major insomnia for 24 months and starting getting dark circles under my eyes etc....oh and of course acne which I never had before:(

I finally now am starting to be "okay" with my dark hair and my dark circles are finally going away.

Thx for sharing and u look beautiful with and without makeup- and I'm not just saying that:)

I've been following your blog and Youtube channel for quite some time, and your tutorials and videos have been really helpful to me. Thank you!

Like you, I am a petite, skinny girl with single-eyelids! I can relate to what you've been through; I've had a fair share of being called names and insulted when I was in school. Flat chested, plasma TV, chopping board, airport, all these described how flat I was. Also like you, I once suffered from severe acne and was called names like gun-shot face. Luckily for me, I had a teacher who was really concerned about me. She recommended me to go for facials, which really helped my acne. Because I was really insecure about my breasts (or lack of thereof), I spent a lot of money on things like pumps and creams trying to make it 'grow'. However those stuff didn't work, and I spent the rest of my time in high school and college with flat chests till they finally decided to 'grow' (super late bloomer!). And yeah I always get comments on how thin I am and that I need to eat more, although I already eat more than most girls I know! I hate it when people make it sound like I'm thin on purpose!!! I feel you, girl!!!

Also like you, I have trouble finding clothes that fit me. The smallest size in most stores are usually still loose on me. If I really like something, I would have to get them altered and that costs money, so I've learned to do some basic alteration myself. However recently I've been getting most of my clothes from Supre.com.au. You should give it a try, it's godsend as they have size 3XS (which fits me like a glove!) and their designs are quite okay.

Sorry for the long comment, this is the first time I'm actually commenting but I thought I'd share :)

I wanted to leave a comment here after i saw ur video cus i kinda thought i'd have a higher chance of you reading it here rather than youtube.

I'm 5'2 and 90 pounds (on good days). I lose weight very easily and is hungry all the time and loves to eat but never gains weight. i completely know how it feels to have people call you anorexic when they dno me/u at all. its so inconsiderate but theres nthn we can do.

just wanted to say that i loved your video and kudos for having the guts to do it barefaced =)

It's interesting, I'm not that much taller than you, we're about the same shoe size, and we're roughly the same body size. Yet for you, you genuinely face difficulties finding clothes that fit.

Now, I live in Sub-Saharan Africa, and whilst trousers may be a couple of inches too long, I generally don't have issues with finding clothes. And finding size 3-4 shoe is only difficult because most women here are sizes 4-5!

My point is that context is everything. Where you live, you're considered to be petite and thin, over here, you'd be considered short-average but normal size(in terms of physique).

Its a shame that when people make judgemental comments about the physical, they don't understand that somewhere else in the world, what they consider to be standard to judge by, would be considered bizarre, odd or even grotesque.

I was just watching your previous Heart 2 Heart post regarding your acne problem when you were younger, and I can totally relate to those incidences with the aunts. I know they meant well and everything, but really, I do not want my problem to be the topic of your conversations, especially since I am already very embarrassed and upset by it.

Just wanna say that it's really brave of you to show your face without makeup and for you to share about your imperfections. After all, it's the imperfections that make us humans. :D

I'm supportive and encourage the message you're trying to bring with regards to women body image. However, I think you partially miss the mark. Oftentimes, when a thin person complains about getting called "too skinny", this is basically akin to a slap in the face of anyone (especially other Asian women who don't fit the stereotypical small Asian stature) who feel that she is overweight. I hate to say this because it was apparent that you were very candid and heartfelt in your post, but most women will feel no sympathy towards you, the same way that people feel no sympathy towards the "poor little rich girls." I'm not trivializing the emotional effect that being teased can have on your self-esteem, but at least your "problem" is one that's actually encouraged and smiled upon by most of society. Societal norms have indicated that it's much more preferable to be thin and not. Especially, Asian societal norms dictate that it's a necessity to be skinny - I am Asian and unfortunately do not fit within the small waif stereotypes and as a result have been derided all my life (I'm a size 4-6 but the fat jokes from family members still keep pouring in...)- The fact is that skinny is the accepted standard of beauty and many women would give anything to have the luxury of complaining that they're too skinny.

Hey Jen, what a fantastic blog post. There is such high ressure on women by the media, by men and by themselves to achieve "perfection" and it's so sad that so many feel insecure about themselves because of it. Your post really touched me because I'm small too! It's difficult enough having to deal with our insecurities without other people bringing us down.

I also wrote a post, please check it out if you have time since you inspired me to write this! http://froovyjosie.blogspot.com/2011/05/bloggers-with-no-makeup-day.html

Hey Jen! (haha I'm Jen too :P) You have inspired me to start trying to specialize in designing for the petite community (currently majoring in fashion design)! I'm short and petite as well, standing like a giant at 4' 10.5" :) and I can definitely agree on some things about the fit of clothing. I'm more of the average body type so to be honest, I can't completely relate, but it is a pain when I find something that I really like to be unproportional to my body type. Perhaps one day, I can ask for some kind of collaboration with you?

As for the shoes! There's this site called Gmarket (a Korean ebay) that I believe may have sellers selling shoes around your size (well...maybe size 4 in the U.S at least). I am not exactly sure, but I can say for sure that some are very cute! Perhaps check it out if you're interested?

You have to excuse me Jen if this comes out as awkward and a little bit creepy, But Jen, I love you! :D You really made me feel better about myself, I'm amazed and touched, and I really do know how you've felt and feel. I know how painful it can be to get hurt by people for things you can't change, thing that you didn't choose. I really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for that!

this video really touched me deep deep down~! I was so amazed that somebody as gorgeous and pretty and so pure and natural-looking could have anyone against you!! I was shocked!! I would personally back you up if someone had said something concerning about how you look; especially something as simple as weight! I, too, have some "self-conscious" notes to self at times about my weight. But, in the end, YOU DON'T LIVE FOR ANY ONE ELSE! You live for yourself! Be happy and stay strong. That's what I learned as I entered high school:)Love, Christina

OMGU are real. I love real people! Be yourself and ignore others comments! I'm being myself after reading "Why men Love Bitches"Girls should read! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-RbPVUzDlUEvery girl who listen to this, You're PRETTY! Don't give up or think that you're not. Everyone are pretty! I posted on my blog too!

Wow, I loved this post. And I love you! :D I think you are beautiful, even without make up!! I def felt some tears start to come every now and then. I've been picked on for weight since elementary school up to now, but right now it's only my dad that picks on me. I'm kinda big, a little more solid for what I weigh than other girls who look fluffier/bigger. But I've been like this forever. So from a point I totally know where you're coming from. I also think everyone has been through this at some time or another. This is just who we are, and we should keep telling ourselves that. Not that we shouldn't improve a little, like eating healthier, etc, but in the long run we would feel so much more better about ourselves.

Hi Jen,Could I ask for a video on "brains vs. looks"? Personally I've got brains and sometimes I feel that I'm missing out on something. Especially when teens these days are so focused on outward appearances. Thanks in advance.

I've had this open for a while, but I finally got a chance to watch it. I just wanted to say thank you. As a 5'2", 90 lb person, I have dealt my whole adult life with the "you need to eat a cheeseburger" line and many other (and worse) comments. I think one benefit of being even shorter is that the thinness looks more proportional! But of course, I know it brings all of its own struggles with it.

But more importantly, what I wanted to tell you is that YOU have made me feel better about myself, once I discovered the petite blogosphere a few months ago. I was struck, first of all, by what an adorable person you are. And you're the person I've found whose shoulders and wrists and so on look the most like my own. And it suddenly dawned on me: if I can see what you look like and think that you're an attractive person, why can't I see that in myself? I have always hated my bony body, but you've helped me see the beauty in it. So: thank you from the bottom of my heart.

hey Jen,I finally got around to watching and reading this post again. I've experienced the "why're you so skinny and anorexic-looking" comments a lot of my life and it took me a long time to be okay with who I am and not be so conscious of what other people thought of me. naturally being skinny wasn't and isn't something in my control no matter what I do or eat, I've just always been that way. looking back, it seems silly to me now. still, I'm not always self-confident with myself and often feel down when I see other beauty 'gurus' who are "famous" and popular. it's like I can't compete in this over-saturated community. I struggle to be patient and consistent in willing myself to stay strong and work hard. I just wanted to say that you are one of two of my top favorite beauties mainly because you seem like one of the few who try to stay real even after getting really popular. it's nice of you to brave face like this, it's refreshing and very appreciated. but I'm sure you get this a lot and my little message will just get buried in the sea of others, but I guess that's okay. :)

Your post made me curious and as i was going through urban dictionary online, i came across this LUDICROUS definition of "monolids" that tries to make them seem as if they give south-east and central Asians a "less pretty and more violent" look. It's really ironic because i envy my asian friends, they're soo naturally beautiful inside and out. Anyway i should let you know you're not alone in your image struggles. I love my body with a passion but others who don't feel the same way about themselves find that hard to accept. Makes it a little bit harder but not impossible. Hang in there love !!

This is my first response to your post after following you for about 6 months. Thank you so much for sharing. I grew up struggling with the very same things you went through; rude remarks for my height, for being asian. You have expressed the feelings that I couldn't quite express. Love ya girl. Best wishes.

Hi Jen, I've been a lurker for a while and just wanted to let you know that this post really resonated with me. I've appreciated all your posts on how to do makeup, but this post in particular really spoke to me. I had meant to comment before, but completely forgot, so just wanted to say great post, and thank you for sharing.

Lol hey Jen, don't worry about all other's comments. They're saying those to make themselves feel better about their own overly weighted body. Come to Korea or just Asia and you'll see how beautiful we Asians can be :p

Anyways, hope to help, try online shopping for shoes and stuffs from Korea ^_^ They definitely carry your size =) Not being able to see the items before buying may be a little intimidating at first but once you get used to it, with the help of a good online store, its not that bad!

wow i didn't know i would relate to this video as much as i do right now. honestly, i've never actually had any insecurities about my body or how small i looked. sure, all my life i've been called short, a midget, anorexic, bony, someone even told me that i was an ant that they could crush in seconds. but seriously, im not sure why but i always had the strength to block those comments out and just be like watever your comments dont affect me. but when i watched this i realized that it really did hurt me. i jsut didnt want to accept it. mean rude people werent the only ones who called me names referring to my height or small-ness. my bestest friends always told me that i needed to eat more, that im anorexic and tiny. it kind of made me go, what? and i eat so much my mum gets scared. and when i do eat alot in front of people, they all go, oh look ur trying to eat alot huh? stop trying to be a fatty, ur just a skinny stick. it hurt yeah, but now, i really don't care about what they think about me, i dont care about what they say. i've learnt to love being short and accept being the size i am. i know people out there that think short people are cute so im not afraid or worried about what people think about me. and neither should anyone else. ur truly an inspiration, this video brought tears to my eyes :) <3

My parents and relatives have told my sister and me that we're fat all of our lives. And I've never been much bigger than a size 4. If people told me i need to "eat a burger," I would cry of gratitude and happiness. I personally do not consider myself to be fat, but I still have sympathy for overweight people, which is something that most people in this world seem to lack (just look at the other comments on this post - e.g. "i bet those who r telling ya ur skinny r fat ass women!").

In my opinion, people are much crueler to fat people than they are to skinny people. It is far more socially acceptable to be skinny. Every day, fat people are met with disgusted, judgmental stares from strangers, children pointing/laughing at them, bosses assuming they are lazy, etc. If you read comments online, people say HORRIBLE things about fat people.

The reason people are less likely to tell a fat person they are fat (and more likely to tell a skinny person to "eat a burger") is because it is far more emotionally scarring and heartbreaking to hear that you are fat. For me personally, if a ton of people told me that I'm too skinny, I would be at most annoyed. But if even one person tells me that I'm fat, I burst into tears and wish I could become anorexic.

I do sympathize with this post. My best friend growing up was always naturally stick thin, and people would always tell her to eat more. I would defend her all the time b/c I knew the comments bothered her, but I secretly envied how easy it is for her to stay thin. Honestly, I whole-heartedly believe that if she had been fat (or even just slightly chubby) instead of skinny, she would have led a much harder life.

You could easily be a motivator! This video almost make me cry but I'm a tough girl ;)When I watch your blog I always see a wonderful and funny woman who almost make my day. I'm not Asian so my eye shape is different and usually I don't wear a lot of make-up but I'm following you just because your personality!!!I think you are exceptional and beautiful and we love you just the way you are!!! :)

Hi Jen, I'm Jilly from Indonesia. Sorry if my English is not very good.. :) I just started to watch your video on youtube 2 days ago and I really love it. And then I knew that you've been struggled with acne. I have acne since 5 years ago (now it's better), when I entered university. I feel so depressed because that was a time when all the girls started to use make-up, wearing pretty clothes, and got a boyfriend. But I couldn't be like them. But that moments really change my character. I learned to thanked God for what I am and tried not to judge people based on their appearance. A beautiful heart is more important than a beautiful face. And what I see now, every woman is beautiful :)

A few months ago, I started to work in photography and I join a make-up course. I have a passion to learn make-up in South Korea (it's my dream to go there ^^).But now, thank God I found your video :)I think we have many similarity..haha.. I wish I can meet you someday. Thank you, God bless you 언니~

hi jen! i discovered your work a few months ago and first off, i just want to say YOU'RE AWESOME and very BEAUTIFUL physically and personality-wise! which leads me to my next question, how tall are you? because from the tone of this post it seems like you're 3 feet tall or something. i'm 4'11" and so i completely understand where you're coming from in terms of self-image.

안녕 Jen!!! I totally here you out and I understand you. Even though I'm only 12, I had a lot of prejudice because I was korean-american. People would be like, "What ARE you?!?!?!," and I'd say "I'm Korean" "What is Korea? Is it a bird?" they'd say. It made me really sad until now my brother (in freshman year) told me to just seek God and His righteous graciousness. So I am a believer and I hope He would bless your soul and heart and all of us here blogging today. I love all of you soo much!

Hi!I just started reading your blog today and stumbled across your video on self image. I agree with you in that youtube and blogs can expose a lot of insecurities and make you vulnerable to the mean-spirited people out there. At the same time, social media has also been able to unite a lot of people around the world with the same "insecurities" and, in your case, make your petiteness a unique statement as evidenced in the increasing number of blogs for petite women.

Being an asian woman myself, the definition of skinny/fat is very cultural. In north america, your frame is notably different from the majority of people around you. However, everything is relative. Even though I am an XS here in Canada, when I visit Asia, I am considered a M to L size there. So take heart and be aware that size is just a matter of opinion. The most important thing is to accept who you are, like you said, and consider yourself blessed!

Hi!I just started reading your blog today and stumbled across your video on self image. I agree with you in that youtube and blogs can expose a lot of insecurities and make you vulnerable to the mean-spirited people out there. At the same time, social media has also been able to unite a lot of people around the world with the same "insecurities" and, in your case, make your petiteness a unique statement as evidenced in the increasing number of blogs for petite women.

Being an asian woman myself, the definition of skinny/fat is very cultural. In north america, your frame is notably different from the majority of people around you. However, everything is relative. Even though I am an XS here in Canada, when I visit Asia, I am considered a M to L size there. So take heart and be aware that size is just a matter of opinion. The most important thing is to accept who you are, like you said, and consider yourself blessed!

I was looking for video tutorials on asian hair care... and I stumbled upon your body image video.

I agree with you completely about how we should all accept ourselves for who we are, just the way we are TODAY, and not pass judgement about others so easily. I have been guilty of doing that myself, and I have lost a friend as a result of it. So I have learned my lesson.

As for the weight issue (being under or overweight), I agree, either way, it's unkind to comment about someone's weight unsolicited. Obviously you rise above those comments, but when it gets difficult, remember that those who make comments like that to you, are insecure about themselves. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn't make it right, but maybe knowing that it's not about you, helps to ease the hurt a little...

I think you are beautiful! I know about the eyelid complex that Asians have. It's no different from many black women feeling the need to relax (straighten) their curly hair (with harsh chemicals) in order to look beautiful. We should embrace what we have, and focus on what's important... focus on what we have, and not what we don't have. We are the way we are meant to be.

I am an Asian woman myself, and in my opinion, you are absolutely beautiful. There is not a thing wrong with your hair, eyes,body size, height, or shoe size!!

As for your acne, being a naturopath, I feel compelled to say that skin breakouts are often related to possible underlying factors such as possible food sensitivities, hormone balance and immune system status too. To get to the root of it, maybe you should consult a naturopathic doctor in your area. There is always a reason other than just "I don't have perfect skin". I hope it makes sense.

Anyway, keep your pretty head up, and thank you for posting the video. You are very courageous! Good for you!

You're a really sweet person with all that heart-to-heart stories. I came across your blog 3 months ago and I've been watching your videos since then. I struggled with acne myself for years- it got better and then worse like a cycle. I found a pretty cream lately and my acne got better. Hopefully it'll stay working. I did not wear make up but after watching your videos, I enjoyed exploring buying new make up and I felt pretty good trying on new looks. Thanks Jen for all your tips and would love it if you cover more affordable products:)

Your video is really inspiring. Honestly i cried during the mid section of your video. I was criticize because i am fat, my acne skin and my excessive sweat disease. I feel conscious whenever i go. This has been a burden to me my whole life, instead of looking into negativity, i look also look at the great things that happen to my life. no matter how life go on.

I've commented on the video. But i'll comment on here too since I didn't get to write the whole thing that I wanted.

I got picked on & made fun of since 2nd-9th grade b/c I lost my hair from alopecia areata universalis + I have 3 skin autoimmune disorders. I've pretty handle all the criticism, teasing & hate well though. In high school I moved to a different city & I hid behind makeup & a wig, I did an experiment one week w/o the wig & makeup to find out that ppl are really vain. For the longest time I was uncomfortable to go anywhere. I didn't wanna bring unwanted attention to myself. I always felt like I was being stared at. Adults would ask me "what is wrong with you?" and as a kid I didn't even know how to answer but reply "You're rude! Mind your own business!". I'm almost 22 now and I had to deal with this when I was 8. I'm also short and tiny and ppl would call me shrimp puff -___-" Everyone struggles w/ something whether they show it or not. I think everyone has to deal with things their own ways and find a good thing about it. Mines made me stronger. I don't know if my outlook is positive now but it's getting better at least.

Thank you for sharing this! Everyone's imperfect and those who say they are an except are either highly confident or just narcissistic. I think people who degrade others strive to look for the impections in others, and points them out to boost their own image. For example, I'm 5'1" and I have heard countless times (especially from other girls) tell me I'm short... gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious!! Everyone has his/her own insecurities and that's a given. It's just sad that when you try or think you have grown to accept your insecurities, others try to make you feel more insecure about them. Since we cannot control society, we just need to accept what we cannot change, and as you mentioned, improve the things that we can. Btw, sorry for the delayed response as I an new to your blog and channel :)

I wish i was able to watch your body image video when i was young. i struggled throughout my entire life with people constantly telling me that I was way too skinny or that i looked anorexic or whatever. I felt ugly, abnormal, and not feminine. It was painful and no one could understand that I was simply built that way. I'm in my mid 20s now. I've gained weight and filled out but only because I felt pressured to do so. I ate and ate and eventually gained weight but developed unsightly stretch marks all over my legs. Though i look like a "normal" weight now, i'm still unhappy with my body. I look back at my teenage self and wish that I could have known that my body was perfect just the way it was. I wish someone would have told me that. Anyway, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I was so moved by your video. I really hope young girls everywhere who are ANY size see this and realize that they truly are beautiful and just as God created them to be.

Jen your skin is so perfect now! I struggled for a bit last year but thankfully all the youtube videos and skincare products (+dermatologist visits) have helped me through that :) I was wondering if you have any tips for sun spots? You have absolutely GORGEOUS clear skin and I really want lazer treatment for my sun spots and scars :)

It's still not perfect, I promise! lol. I haven't personally had laser treatments for sunspots but I do know for certain that it does work since some of my relatives have had that done. The biggest tip I can give is, of course, to wear a broad spectrum sunscreen for your face everyday! 30-50 will prevent sunspots the most but at least SPF 15 is what I recommend for a daily moisturizer. :)

Dear Jen, I just came across your blog when i was searching on clarisonic reviews! I watched your you tube videos and you are truly inspiring! And on the skinny part, I am still very skinny at the age of 25, and people every single day ask me why are you skinny? Aren you eating? Did you see a doctor? And i ask myself why are these people so mean? I love what you said! God bless xoxo Uma

Okay so this is a very late answer to your Body Image video, but I really wanted to leave a comment. What you said brought tears to my eyes, and for different reasons. First, I was moved by what your story, the mean comments that you've received, people telling you to gain weight and so on. It's something I think I'll never understand: why people feel the need to say such things as "you should eat a sandwich", or criticize the shape of your eyes - I didn't even know that people could hate Asian eyes. Like seriously, wtf? And tell it I mean, you can like or dislike whatever you want but say it? And then I was moved because it echoes to how I feel about myself - not confident, hating my body and stuff. I'll be 24 next week and I've been dealing with bad body image since I was 16. I guess it's better now but it's still there. I was anorexic and it pisses me off to hear that as an insult against skinny people. It's an illness, it's something you can die from. Obviously I'm not saying that to you but you know, I just can't stand this word being used as an insult. So to wrap it up, I'll just say thank you for this video, I sincerely, truly hope that it will help girls or boys suffering from a bad body image, whatever the reason is, and that this will make some people who tend to criticize others think. If it made even 1 person think and realize that you don't critize people's appareance, you'll have achieved something great. Thank you and sorry for this over long message. And btw, I think you're so, SO pretty.

About me

Hi, I'm Jen! I've been blogging and making youtube videos since 2008 and have loved encouraging others to feel beautiful in their own skin ever since. I hope you enjoy my beauty tips and reviews, style inspiration, and a bit of my life as a wife and mother!