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6.11.11

I'll judge you, so you won't judge me

I don't like being pointed out as different. Last summer, I was once getting dressed in the morning and a girl was brushing her hair. Somehow it got on the topic of skirts. You know, why do you wear them all the time...

She then said, "Yeah, I'm wearing a skirt today because y'all are and I know you always wear them."

Talk about feeling guilty. I don't want to pressure people to dress the same way I do. Good grief. Heavens to Besty.Yodeling bananas. That last thing I want to do is make anyone feel terrible just because I'm wearing a skirt.

I'm not talking about skirts here. I'm talking about convictions. Maybe you're Christian standards are strange. Perhaps yours friends feel bad because of your convictions. Perhaps you're under pressure because you're the last one standing for what you think is right.

It's easy to judge people when they do something wrong. It's easier to judge people if they're not doing something wrong.

Example, I don't wear head coverings - I don't have a conviction there. I have nothing against people who do, but I admit, it makes me want to judge them, because I'm certain they think my convictions are flimsy because I don't bend to theirs. What do they think? Do they think I'm a Christian because I don't exactly believe what they do? What if they're offended?

The problem with this fear and judgemental "peer pressure" is that it focuses on their beliefs. Just because someone believes something doesn't mean it is true. That's an apeal to the people. Take evolution. Or how about abortion? A lot of poeple believe that, and they can think you're pretty looney if you don't.

If we're so busy focusing on their beliefs and what they think - we miss the point. The point is not their beliefs it's your beliefs. What do you base your conviction / belief on? Is it Christ? Or is it others beliefs?

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. 1 Peter 3:15

5 comments

I hate the whole "I'll {insert conviction} because you are" thing. I'm thinking, "I don't care if you look like me or do like me. I really don't. I look for Christ's approval, not yours."

Another thing that gets me is that we need to understand that everyone's situation, personal journey and conscience is slightly different. So convictions, while also being based on the Word, should also fit your situation and help your journey and the people you're trying to reach.

Maybe that's why people like to wear skirts around us? Because we're the "weaker sisters" who might bang them over the head with a Bible if they wear jeans? ;o) Oh, convictions...so tricky.

oh wow. I was planning to do a post just like this when I was done with NaNoWriMo...wow. except it was going to have to do with more things, other than dressing.

ditto to what you said. I think most people like to wear the same thing around each other because they think the other person will like them more just because they wear a skirt, or jeans. or because they'll fit in.

I've personally told myself I'm not going to wear skirts all the time, or take that big step, just because someone else is doing it. I will if God tells me to, but so far He hasn't, so I'll just be the way I am, dressing modestly, but not wearing skirts all the time.

"Example, I don't wear head coverings - I don't have a conviction there. I have nothing against people who do, but I admit, it makes me want to judge them, because I'm certain they think my convictions are flimsy because I don't bend to theirs. What do they think? Do they think I'm a Christian because I don't exactly believe what they do?"

Oh, my goodness, Bethany! You just completely hit the nail on the head for me. I read the paragraph above and it seemed like you were speaking directly to me, especially in the second sentence. That is just EXACTLY how I feel sometimes!

I have struggled with this SO MANY TIMES. I automatically feel defensive towards girls in skirts (specifically) because I imagine they are looking down on me in my jeans. I 'feel' like they are judging me and deeming me less holy, somehow, because I always wear jeans. I struggle against feeling defensive towards them, even though they haven't given me a single word or look to indicate that they are actually are judging me.

It's wrong of me, and I know it, but I become defensive and judge them because I think they're judging me. It's a downward spiral, where I take a girl's simple conviction and blow it far out of proportion, imagining that they view me as immodest, less chaste, or ungodly just because they wear skirts and I don't.

Thank you so much for your post. It really helped me get a reality check. It helped me realize that girls in skirts aren't necessarily looking down on me and don't view themselves as better just because they don't wear jeans. I have struggled with this for so many years, and you know, I think this may finally have resolved the issue! =)

When we find ourself beginning to slide into the "judging seat", we must remember that Christ did NOT judge those who were different or did things against Him. In the Bible it reads, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

Truth is, I like many others don't like to be judged. I don't like to be talked about because I'm different, or look different than they are. If you've ever been in that place we probably remember the hurt caused by the remarks or looks. We're not living to please or fit in with the world but for Christ.