I bumped into the best rider around these parts yesterday, the grouch, who was — I have to stop laughing to avoid typos — sporting a helmet that looked like exactly a ripe watermelon. Photorealisitcally exactly. The company that manufactures it (I'm blanking on the name) gave it to him to try, he said. Since it's obviously targeted mainly toward the urban, skinny-jeans, art-damaged crowd, I asked him which market they hoped his endorsement would help penetrate. His answer: "Good question -- the farmer's market, possibly?"

I then suggested that he had to be pretty brave to wear the thing in broad daylight, in racing kit, far from the inner city. Perhaps echoing Debussy's remark about preferring to dine each night at the top of the Eiffel Tower, he replied that "Its best feature is that while wearing it I don't have to look at it."

Correct. The helmet is made by Nutcase. It fits great, feels great, is better ventilated than you'd imagine by looking at it, might well be more aero than most of my snobby racer helmets, and comes in at about a quarter of their price. Also, it was Guy de Maupassant who allegedly made that snide comment about the Eiffel Tower, not Debussy.