Are College Girls Too Promiscuous?

I can still remember my first weekend at college. It was last August, and I have vivid memories of girls wearing über short skirts and guys wearing Jordans with black socks, basketball shorts, tank tops, and snapbacks (apparently it’s a really killer style, these days). I was slapped in the face with flirtatiousness, and it wasn’t even subtle; it was as blatant as a semi driving on the wrong side of the highway. Perhaps some of them had lived sheltered lives at home and were finally able to be free and express themselves, particularly in the sexual sense, and this was their way of doing that. But my only thought at the end of the night was that romance was dead, as was any inclination that finding “the one” was priority.

Changing Roles For Women and Men

But it wasn’t the lack of romance that was so shocking to me; it was the aggressiveness – the almost desperate desire – for attention, and it came from both sides. The common belief that only men are the instigators of sexual promiscuity had been killed long before I had even arrived at university. Women were playing the game, too, and they were playing it with such finesse that one might think they had been scheming for years and waiting for the right moment to strike. And they did it in the same way that men had been doing it for years.

As women have begun playing more active roles in society, particularly economically, they have been forced to alter components of their lives in order to fit in with the male-dominated society. These changes have also impacted their personal lives. A recent article from The Atlantic discusses the “hookup culture” on college campuses, focusing intently on women and their new functions in postsecondary and professional culture. The article’s primary concentration is on the more dominant position that women are taking in society with a specific focus on the dating culture at college campuses and how women are utilizing it to their advantage.

Universities have always been like a petri dish of constant hookups, breakups, and all of the juicy details in between. Traditionally, when college folk went to parties and mingled, the confident frat guy would make his move on his target of choice and, well, the remaining details could be left to your imagination. But women no longer play those submissive roles. Along with becoming critical to the workforce and our economy of consumption, women have also become quite skilled at playing those same “games” that men have been playing on them for decades.

Because of their growing roles in business, college women are becoming more focused on studies than they are on relationships. Most college women prefer short-term relationships to anything so serious that it might distract them from school and the ultimate professional success that it may bring them. This is why the hook-up attitude at colleges is so appealing to them. Recent reports show that women are outperforming men in college, or at least more women are going to college and graduating. Essentially, women are making the most of the hookup scene at college and propelling forward their professional lives in the process.

In addition, the goals of women are changing. Instead of marriage or children being at the top of their lists, being successful in their careers is of paramount importance to them with some studies indicating that they value career success more than men do. This growing idea among women doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to be independent from men, but it does show that they don’t want to be dependent on them for financial support. As a matter of fact, even women who have already graduated and have careers of their own are finding fulfillment in the hookup culture that is prevalent in colleges; the low maintenance of these relationships is appealing to them.

The Takeaway

As women continue forming more essential components for themselves in society, they will forge even more dominance and clout in relationships. For men, this might mean taking that submissive role in a relationship. In the end, it’s become quite clear that we are living in an ever-changing world when it comes to gender roles, so don’t be so surprised when that successful, smart woman you met at the local college sports bar isn’t returning your calls. Better yet, don’t be surprised if you never hear from her again.

It is plainly obvious from the above comments that no one has any conception of the definition of “LOVE”: nor for even the definition of “commitment”. As you get older and hopefully mature a bit, you will find a good relationship is one of the most precious wonders of your life. I will admit that starting in high school and through my early 20’s, I was a different girl a week-end sort of guy. I was called a “Player” It was only after I settled down that I realized that my sex life had been so unrewarding. Once your emotions come from within, it is much more fulfilling and erotic. I’m much older now and the joy I have with my now still young wife and grandchildren has proven to be worth it.

The majority of women nowadays are “cake eaters”. They want to a man with financial means to support them but are reluctant or unwilling to commit themselves to a husband who can provide, protect, love and take care of them.

For they know at the end of the day, when they grow tired of them, they are ‘entitled’ to half of their husband’s hard work, 401(k), house, etc. simply because they widened their thighs by about 10 inches.

It’s an expensive pleasure for men and many are starting to wise up. When over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and statistically it’s a dead-heat between the sex on who cheats, why would ANY sane man choose to roll those dice when half of the time, he loses?

I was married for 14 months. While neither of us cheated, I was falsely accused of battery and spent over $60K on her ring, honeymoon, paying off her debts, etc. And she still felt that I “owed” her for being married to her. I couldn’t run faster from that gold-digging b*tch.

While I realize not ALL women are like this, IMO, the majority of women look at their vaginas as golden p*ssies that men must “pay” to play with. Well, guess what…we’re tired of the PC/feministic crap.

We’re happy to spend time with a quality woman but most, like myself, would never commit to marriage again given how overwhelmingly stacked against the husband the current situation presents.

Feminists, you’ve made this bed and it’s high time you sleep in it. Frankly, sex is easy for most men. It’s the commitment what women crave and you’ve done your best to force me to run from it given your actions.

I’m so sorry. I wish that I didn’t agree with you. It is so hard to watch as women throw away one of the greatest gifts, to be loved and cherished. Sadly, it comes form the overwhelming number of children growing up without dads in the home. Brokenness is not going to create anything but more brokenness. If you do choose to marry again, try and find a woman that comes from a long line of families that have stayed married. That is what I am recommending to my children because it isn’t just about sex. That is empty and meaningless for both sexes when there is no commitment.

Wow. So you chose a horrible woman – undoubtedly for all the wrong reasons – and you suffered because of it. Now, you’re angry at all women.

How sane and rational is that?

I’ve never cheated. Never once. Of all the people I’ve dated, they’ll all say that despite what issues I did have, cheating, gold-digging, etc. was never among them. At worst, I was scatter-brained for having ADHD. But I’m a good person, and it shows in my relationships.

People like me exist out here. The problem is, I’m not thin. I’m not supermodel gorgeous. People like you, so focused on the superficial, overlook people like me. Good women who make good wives. People who know what it’s like to be betrayed and taken for granted, and would never do that to someone else. Because of physical appearance, you ignore us, and this is what you get.

By the way, I’m engaged to a pretty good-looking guy. Someone who saw me for me. We’ve been together for going on 8 years, and in all of that time, I’ve never cheated on him, and I’ve lied to him once – and I told him about it immediately afterward! I’m not perfect, but love and commitment means a lot to me. It means a lot to most women.

It’s been men throughout the ages, valuing us as little more than trophies and pieces of good-looking meat, etc. that has caused some of us – not all, merely some – to start playing the same games that men have been playing for ages.

I’m not excusing cheating women, because I hate cheaters of all kinds with a passion. But I’m too intelligent to ignore the past and how history has altered the dating field. People like you, who think like you, and view women like you do, are responsible for what has happened to you. You did it to yourself, even though you now want to blame womankind.

This article is sad. Women are being sold a bill of goods and when they believe it and follow the “hook-up” culture they teach men to be irresponsible and then when they do find someone they’re interested in he’ll run away at the sign of impending commitment. Why? Because he can get the sex elsewhere without the commitment.

Marriage is work. Period. Love it or hate it, it is still the best game in town. The “interview” process of choosing a mate requires intelligence and discipline. Studies show that traditional marriage reduces, not increases, stress levels in both men and women. Married people live longer, are healthier, and actually are more active sexually than singles, so get over it.

Let’s run a sample scenario. Boy meets girl in college. They hook up. He’s a jerk so she moves on. Girl meets next boy. They hook up. He’s funny but immature so she tosses him out, too. Girl meets next boy. They hook up. Cycle continues to repeat itself. Now girl is getting into her late twenties or early thirties and she decides she wants someone there to take care of her when she’s sick whose not her mother. She thinks maybe she wants to have kids, too. Unfortunately, current next boy has already been trained by the women he’s been with before her, as well as by her, that he can spend the night and leave as he pleases, so he’s on to the next bed when things get uncomfortable. Certainly this is an oversimplification but, put simply, bad behavior that gets rewarded begets more bad behavior.

Either its career first and family second or its the other way around. You cannot serve two masters. You can try, but invariably both suffer and there is no cure for a neglected career or neglected family. Jobs come and go but family is forever. Which do you think is the more important? When people look back on their lives, they don’t take satisfaction because they managed the sales department effectively at Acme Corp. but they do get great satisfaction from their children’s stable marriages and their growing families.

What would have improved your family and your growing-up experience when you were young? Improve upon that and you’ve done a lot to make it better. Materialism is not the answer. Monthly membership dues for recreation for toddlers and early elementary is not the answer. Income helps, but working with the expense side (consumption) reaps better results and sets an example for your children to follow. Whether its a mother or a father, and preferably its both at various times, the children and the family are better off when the parents keep their eyes on the family ball.

I work as a hospice volunteer, and most people, when they’re in the stages of dying, spend a large amount of their time reflecting over their lives. Most commonly, I find these folks are thinking about their relationships, past and current.

Broken relationships can be a source of great emotional distress, and can even contribute to increased physical pain for a dying person, and it’s quite common that I spend much time attempting to comfort these folks over the damaged relationships of their lives.

I’ll never forget one man, who’s daughter had had a falling out with her children, and the patient was in a significant amount emotional distress over this. Unbeknownst to him, I was able to, behind the scenes, spend some time counseling with this family, and they were able to finally make genuine peace with one another.

I met with him on a Sunday afternoon, a day after his daughter and her children had come to visit him, and share that they’d finally reconciled with one another. The patient cried as he told me the good news of how his family had finally resolved their differences. It was truly a time of celebration for him, and there was a very definite sense of peace about him that day—I’ll never forget that.

Within the next 12 hours he was able to finally let go and gently and peacefully pass from this earth. He’d been holding on, in obvious physical and emotional pain, just hoping the day would come that his family might reconcile. This is not an unusual case, a dying person often has an amazing amount of control over when they let go, but that’s another story.

It’s more likely in patients who have no immediate family or close friends, that they spend their last days thinking about their careers, accomplishments or how much money they made. Of course this is not always the case, but at least in my experience with many patients over the years it has proven to be true.

My old man laid it out to me early…”nothing cheaper than a woman”. So true, once they hit the 25 year old threshold its downhill. Better to focus on your career and shag the under 25 population until ur dead. Less stress and more prosperity will allow you to enjoy it till the end.

Enough already with the gender wars. I wish the left or democrate leaning journalists would just leave us all alone and concentrate on paying off the national debt rather then leaving many jobs half done !

This is v interesting. Interesting that though women don’t necessarily want to be independent of men, we don’t want to be dependent. Women want equality in relationships. We want to be able to leave if necessary, even after mortgages and children. This is an enormous change, a true evolution socially. It shows that much of the historic “Relationships are more important to women” thinking was based on financial necessity.

A great outcome of this may be that men may start to put into relationships a little of the effort and adaptation and acceptance that women have always put in. This is a generalization of course, but within that parameter it is true. This is a huge social change and may take some generations to evolve into a truly equal model. With decent contraception and female financial self support now a reality for at least some of us, truly equal relationships are possible for the very first time.

Rosie, it’s called “selfishness.” When children and relationships become disposable, then what you are describing is a self-absorbed, self-obsessed, superficial person . . . men or women, it doesn’t matter. If you are going to have children, then you have made a decision that your life is no longer yours alone . . . that is, if your have any sense of responsibility or morality.

Define ‘equality.’ the only thing that has come out of the last 50 years of political correctness has been the disintegration of the family. This has caused serious emotional damage to people who can no longer talk to family members who trust and love them, but become saps for manipulative social engineers who are looking for fodder to test their theories. Somehow, being a mother and a wife is no longer a noble profession in and of itself, but must take a backseat to a more important corporate life. Oh…that’s because the workplace is more fulfilling than raising the next generation.

Hey Kerry- So you don’t want the role of a woman to be that of a woman? I’m not sure it’s your choice. You’re born with a vagina and have the capability to carry and bear children. It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want it to be that way and how much you want to be equal to a man but face it… we’re different….very different… and will never be the same. If you want the freedom of a man, go ahead. But don’t expect any man to like that. And don’t be surprised when you end up a sad, lonely, childless prune for choosing to focus on your career. Because face it, while you’re focusing on your career, your not going to convince a man to carry and bear your children. And if you want to carry your own children and focus on your career….that’s too much and you will be miserable and no man will put up that crap. And if your going to return to focusing on your career as soon as you drop your child, then that’s extremely selfish and not fair to your child and it will show as either someone else will raise that child and that will be your child’s parent, or your child will grow up without a mother and hate the world and kill someone and end up in jail.

I think it would be better if women who want to could stay at home and bring up children and the state would support her, not her husband as if a husband does it, he thinks he owns her and the kids. Most men can’t afford to keep wife and kids anymore as everyone compares themselves to singletons with playboy/girl lifestyles and don’t give themselves any credit for maintaining a simple but happy lifestyle. The media is a lot to blame and the lack of support from the government or employers for men trying to support families.

Women don’t seem to want to really be in a relationship with a guy for him. It’s still his status or financial assets they want. They don’t seem to love men or any man. It’s all about using a guy to move up the social structure.

Stop sterotyping women, we aren’t all bitches out for guys with money, some of us are actually just looking for a nice decent guy who isn’t going to cheat on us. Re college all I was looking for at that age was to find a nice boyfriend who made me feel I was the only one for him, I wouldn’t have cared what assets he had, instead all I could find were wankers that cheated on me, that just wanted one night stands and blantedly lie to me.

The reason some women go for men with high paying jobs with lots of money is chances are these men would have to be smart and motivated to have their jobs, (and socially adept), we don’t want a dumb lazy guy who is going to be sitting on the couch all day. Plus if they do marry a rich guy they know when they have kids they won’t have to go back to work 3 months after given birth, (which can be quite devastating to leave your baby at a Day Care because your husband doesn’t earn enough to support you) they can afford to stay at home with their kids and have more choice. But it doesn’t mean women arne’t in love with the guy just because they chose one that is rich.

Ha, said like a man who has nothing to offer at all. Women are..and only want assets is just an excuse to make yourself feel better about not having any desirable qualities. Which is what I’d expect from someone who would make such an ignorant statement.

It’s the male version of the overly needy, demanding girls cry that men are only interested in models.

Actually said by a man who has had a few women tell him they planned to marry guys so they could divorce them to attach their assets. The first one to tell me about this was 12 years ago. A real life of the party type described how she married guys to get pregnant, divorce him, and attach his assets. She claimed to be on number 4 (her magic number). She wouldn’t have to work after divorcing him. Listened to 2 women, at work a couple of years ago, talking about how to use divorce to improve their finances through alimony. My attitude is from watching and listening to the women at work. Might be the women in my career field.

Also seeing how the family court system has treated men I know personally, marriage is a losing proposition for a man these days.The negatives outweigh the positives by far. I’ve listened to far too many stories from men and women to think that it is all the guys fault. We both have unrealistic expectations. Too many come from families that are poor examples for marriage. We need classes on how men and women can live together. The bar for how to choose a mate and stay together is set far too low.

I agree with Scruffy. Have heard, witnessed, and experienced the very same. Overheard when as a child…”she’s sitting on a gold mine”, didn’t know then what I learned later. Woman have told me time and again to never trust a woman…did I listen? Hell no! I always thought there was a real possibility that there was a woman with substance, values, unselfishness, and romantic. HA! The courts are one sided, and in need of a big overhaul, but that’s not going to happen is it? Child support should be used for the child, not make-up, booze, cigarettes, drugs, new clothing and shoes for mommy. Is it unreasonable to put at least 10% into a trust for the children’s future schooling? They also need to make it universal for joint parenting and visitation…and make it stick!! It’s criminal that each state has different rules!!