Journeys in the heart and mind of the not-so-typical Southern Male

Every Auburn person knows Toomer's Corner. It's the intersection of College Street and Magnolia Avenue, marking the point where the town meets the University. Over it are two enormous old Oak trees that are over 100 years old. And, whenever anything good happens in Auburn, the tradition is you roll the trees. This was an old tradition when my parents were at Auburn in the 70s; I believe it stretches all the way back to the 50s.

Well, this year, some asshole going by the name of "Al from Daleville" poisoned the soil around the oak trees. They used a dose that may be as high as 60 times the lethal amount - not that it would take much to kill century old trees. And while Auburn's (nationally renowned) horticulture department are working hard to save them, even they admit that there isn't a whole lot of hope.

It's so sad. From about November of 2002 until I graduated, I walked or biked under those trees every class day, going from where I worked up on Magnolia down to campus for class. I can't even think about what an Auburn campus would be like without those trees shading the entry way...

I read that story at work today. I've never been anywhere near there and it still pisses me the fuck off.

"Criminal mischief" doesn't quite do justice to what this bastard has done. He didn't just pull a prank. He took away something irreplaceable, something that was part of the identity of the town and college, part of everyone's memories.

If dumb kids throw toilet paper all over a house, you clean up the toilet paper. If they paint graffiti on a building, it can be washed off. If they smash windows, that's shitty, but the windows can be replaced.

You cannot just waltz into a Wal-Mart and buy an extra pair of 100-year old oak trees. Even if it was possible to dig up more 100-year old oak trees somewhere else and plant them where the old oak trees used to be...that's not the same. I don't think I need to explain it. It's simply not the same.

And judging by what I've heard, I don't think "Al from Daleville" understands what he's done, or that he would care if he did.

I've got no creative punishment in mind...creative punishments are wasted on people like him anyway. Throw him in jail for as long as you can, then have the town and/or college slap him with a multimillion-dollar civil suit he has no chance of ever paying off.

Maybe when he's old and crippled and penniless and alone, he'll finally realize how badly he fucked up.