Friday, 27 July 2012

Stress has always caused my hands and nails to go to crap. So they're in really great shape right now (heavy hint of sarcasm).

I've noticed in recent lunch time shopping expeditions that Revlon now has a 'nail bar' in Myer, and the prices seemed pretty reasonable to me. I figure a bit of pampering and me time is fair at the moment, so I treated myself to the Deluxe manicure yesterday, done by the lovely Laura.

I'm really not used to having polish on my nails and it's taking some getting used to. I used to wear it a lot and even went through a goth stage with black nails in my late teens, but it's been years since I last wore any!

I initially chose a blue shade called Midnight which I really liked - I thought it would work well with jeans for the weekend. Sadly it just looked odd on my very short nails - I'm hoping it's just an 'I'm not used to it' thing. So I went with a beige shade called Bare Bones. Even that's taken getting used to, but it's growing on me.

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Mr Trifectagirl with his cardiac issues was on a plethora of drugs. Since he passed, one thing I've been wanting to do is get them out of the house - they're pretty dangerous. Particularly with a curious monkey of a 17 month old running (ummm climbing) all over the place.

They were stored in a kid-proof medicine box, but I knew I'd be far more comfortable with them completely out of the house.

I finally felt up to that task last week. I also cleared out my out of date meds such as uncompleted courses of antibiotics and even some drugs left over from the pregnancy.

I took the safest method of disposal - took them to the pharmacy for them to dispose of. Much safer than dumping them down the loo.

My niece (step-mum's granddaughter) has started a bridging course to get into university this week, so I've also handed over some of the stationary stockpile Mr Trifectagirl had accumulated. It's unsentimental stuff, and he'd be thrilled to be helping her in her studies in a small way.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Mother-In-Law is wheelchair bound and relies on access cabs for transportation. This means that Christmas has to be organised way,way in advance so we actually get a cab booking for reasonable times. So I've already been turning my thoughts to our first Christmas without Mr Trifectagirl.

Christmas time will be around the 6 month mark since Mr Trifectagirl passed, so I'm expecting it to be doubly rough - first Christmas and six months in one hit.

Fortunately we did a few things last year as a family that I have photographs of. The Zoo's member family BBQ, Elf on the Shelf (which Mr Trifectagirl hated), going to the Brewery Garden light display, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning services. I can keep these as family traditions for J, along with my baking traditions. I can also talk to Mother in Law and see if there were any traditions from Mr Trifectagirl's childhood I could add back in.

I'm thinking of going to the lights on the 14th, being the date of the month we lost Mr Trifectagirl.

The day itself, I have no idea on what will happen apart from going to Christmas morning service. Hopefully Sister and her baby (who will be 2-3 months old, depending on when it decides to arrive) will decide to come too.

Gift wise, I'm glad I found the 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read' guideline - I could be spending so much money on J if I don't keep to this. I will add something from Santa and something to make/do which can be used to while away the post-Christmas lunch slump in the afternoon. While we play that age-old sport - watching to see if Grandpa falls off his chair when he falls asleep.

And I can't forget the really bad Christmas Tree costume Mr Trifectagirl bought for J in the sales last year. It should be delightful!

Friday, 13 July 2012

Last week I collected Mr Trifectagirl's ashes. On picking up the box, my first thought was 'he's not lost much weight'. I'd forgotten how heavy they are.

I've been through the process of collecting ashes before - my Mum and Step-Dad both passed in 2008.

Sister and I were quite amused when we collected them because they came in their own Cemeteries Authority heavy paper shopping bag - like you get from high-end clothing stores. They would have cracked up also. At least we held our giggles until we got in the car.

We had instructions on what to do with Mum and Step-Dad - half into the wall at cemetery where they lived, half to be mixed together and buried with the dog on their property. Instructions were duly followed. We even used Mum's stock-pot to mix the remaining ashes together - Dad was horrified.

Back to Mr Trifectagirl. I had no instructions. I could only assume cremation was his preferred option and have part of him, at least, with his dad. I could inter, scatter or do whatever comes up with the remainder.

So I have a few options.

I will probably hold an amount to scatter in Ireland along with his dad (who's ashes are still under my bed). The plan was for Mr Trifectagirl to scatter them there, so I'm happy to follow that wish in years to come.

Some of the personal memorial options, like compressing the ashes to a diamond, have never appealed, but I have found this which I'm considering: http://www.memoryglass.com/. I like the idea of the swirl design with our wedding colours. Mr Trifectagirl had an appreciation for sculpture, so it's fitting and doesn't seem wrong for him.

The remainder I'll probably inter at our church - hopefully in the renovated gardens that are planned. As Mother In Law is also a member of the congregation, I can also inter his dad there, and mother when she passes.

And I need remember to save space for part of me with Mr Trifectagirl when the time comes, too.

About Me

These are my adventures while working on the trifecta - a great home, great relationships and a great job. I'm a 39 year old mum to a toddler after my partner and I faced male-factor infertility and subsequent IVF cycles. Following a major medical crisis, my husband passed 375 days after our June 2011 wedding and I'm now a widow juggling the everyday demands of a toddler and life.