40/365 It Feels Like The First Time

40. Write about what it is like to experience something for the first time.

My mom is a big fan of People magazine, and at any time you can walk into our bathroom and find a gigantic stack of issues from the last several months. Besides trying to complete the crossword puzzles I always flip to the One Last Thing section where they interview actors, and ask about the last time they did different things. Whenever I read their answers I always find myself wondering about their firsts. There aren’t many places that you can point to in a life where everything changed, but moments where you are experiencing something for the first time are typically a good place to start.

There is a first time for everything. Your first kiss, your first love, first day at school, first drink….first legal drink. Life is a collection of moments and the ones that usually stand out to us, the ones that we share stories about are our firsts. There is a unique rush that comes with experiencing something for the first time. Now of course not all firsts are equal. I for one would love to skip first heartbreak, or you know my first cavity won’t make my memoir either.

But the kind of firsts I’m talking about are the ones that can only be explained as having a magical quality to them. The firsts where you walk away with a new discovery about yourself or the world around you. For example, the first time I saw a musical on broadway I thought someone was going to have to physically remove me from my seat to go home because I was that transfixed by what had happened on stage. The actors had created this special world in two hours that separated me from the outside. A world with music and laughter, and that is when I fell in love with the theater.

It sometimes feels like all of life is just a hunt for our next first. The next opportunity to capture a little bit of magic. I crave that rush. Our firsts are what break up the monotony of our day to day rituals and launch us into the unknown, and while the unknown can be frightening it is where the most living happens and also where we tend to grow. There are a lot of firsts to look forward to. Ones that will constitute me joining the ranks in what they call the, “real world.”Adult firsts such as, my first real job and my first real apartment.

I’m still waiting for those adult firsts to come. As of late it seems I’m in a first moment draught. But after having a summer filled with them it seems as if I’m supposed to take a break, but not exactly by choice. I guess I’m chasing that emotion of what it feels like when you feel truly alive. When you feel as if you have truly accomplished something. The next first I want is the first time I feel like I’m a adult. The first time I feel independent and confident on my own. Hopefully that first still exists.