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The Sunday Series (111), with Mark Brodinsky

The ability to know you are more than who you are. It’s inside each and every one of us.

As much as we are different, we have many things in common.

We are all broken… and yet at the same time we are all amazing. Each and every one of us.

The challenge in life is to take what’s broken and manifest it in a way which can serve us and serve others, by sharing the lesson of how we too have overcome.

This is the essence of the human spirit. And those who find it inspire each and every one of us.

After all, everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (111): The Power to Serve

“One thing I learned from my mother and from ET (Eric Thomas) – she would show it -he would say it and do it – the power of serving. The power of serving. That’s how you separate and go to the next level, learn how to serve and you will be blessed more than you will ever be by taking.”
– T.J. Tyus

It’s not easy to do, they don’t teach it to you in school – it’s the lesson and the trait you have to learn and develop out there in the real world. The challenge is the real world tries to give you every reason not do it. The challenge is to develop great character, and then to make good choices.

For T.J. Tyus it should have been easy to build. Growing up in Lansing, Michigan, in a military-style family, in a household filled with boundaries and beliefs, T.J. actually thrived, at least as a little boy. He was disciplined, he had a desire and he had a dream.

“At only six-years-old, I decided I wanted to play football in the NFL”, says T.J. “My father was in the Air Force and he gave me a VHS tape of Herschel Walker. I started doing 1,500 push-ups and 2,000 sit-ups every day and built up my body. I watched a lot of TV, and during every commercial I did push-up and sit-ups throughout the day. I started doing them in my bedroom with the door closed. My parents actually took me to the hospital one day because my stomach was hurting. They thought it was something I ate… it was just because I was doing so many crunches.”

T.J. continued to build his body, becoming one of the strongest kids in his freshman year in high school, playing as a linebacker and a running back for his football team and getting recruited by a lot of teams, eventually deciding to attend Central Michigan University.

But that’s where the trouble began.

For all the discipline and the dreams he had T.J. became attracted by the danger. “Living in a military household there were a lot of boundaries”, says T.J. “I got wild with my college friends and I started hanging out with the bad side of Detroit. One guy was from Florida and he grew up hard, I admired him. I kind of wanted to live that life, popular and glorified. I lost my way, I had an identity crisis trying to be something I wasn’t.”

Life went south in a hurry. In 2004 T.J. was charged with a felony crime after resisting arrest during a college party. But the trouble didn’t end there. During his senior year T.J. was accused of murder, after a man was beaten and stomped to death during a brawl outside a bar in Mount Pleasant.

T.J. says, “Some of my closest friends were charged with manslaughter, some went to jail. I remember to this day the same police officer who talked to me during my junior year after the fight at the party, he told me ‘we didn’t get you for resisting arrest, but we’re going to get you for murder’. They were out to get me. My car was confiscated. But I was nowhere near this incident.I had nothing to do with it. I got nervous and returned to Lansing. My wife was by my side the whole time.”

T.J. was never charged in the case and he eventually graduated from CMU with a Bachelor’s in Health Fitness and a minor in Athletic Coaching. By this time his family was growing, as was his faith.

In life it can be one idea, one circumstance, one person who can turn it all around for you. For T.J. it was a visit to church and a pastor just starting to make a name for himself, Eric Thomas – ET. (http://etinspires.com/)

“ET didn’t hit me over the head with a bible, he taught me how to develop a personal relationship with God. My mom raised me to believe in God, but ET taught me to have this personal relationship with God, to change my mindset and read more then I ever did in my life. The first book I read, As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen. It’s a hard read, but it changed my life. Then I read everything I could on leadership by John Maxwell. And I read the Principles and Power of Vision, by Dr. Myles Munroe. He just passed away last year. He is phenomenal.”

“Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.” ~ James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

The time had come for T.J. to build his new life… and ET was willing to help, taking T.J. under his wing and allowing him to travel with the self-proclaimed Hip-Hop Preacher, as he spoke all across the country. T.J. says he learned so much from the man who has been called one of the world’s most inspirational speakers, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oxz060iedY ), and is proud to serve as associate pastor at Dr. Eric Thomas’s church in Lansing, Michigan. T.J. says traveling with ET, his story is motivating and changing people at every turn. And he has inspired T.J. in so many ways.

Despite growing up with a speech impediment, a stutter, which was never officially diagnosed, T.J. found the courage to speak, not only on a Sunday at church, but to groups all across the country. He has developed his own company, Strength II BE, helping people, especially young athletes, to grow in mind, body and spirit. “People see me as a body builder, because I’m in great shape”, says T.J. “But you can’t have just one of those things, you can’t just build your body, you have to build your mind and your spirit, you have to have all three.”

T.J. now knows you also have to build character. As he learned in his own life your character can be fragile, it can become misguided, you can be led down the wrong path and he wants to stop this from happening to young people who are attracted to so many distractions and illusions of grandeur. T.J. knows the time to get to them is before it’s too late.

“So many athletes like me are not making it because of character issues. Or they do make it, then they start beating-up girlfriends, or get in other trouble and go to jail. Let’s teach them while they’re still in middle school, or high school, because you don’t get character development in high school, you are not taught that – you get science and math – but you don’t get the other stuff.”

Now T.J. is going into elementary schools, middle schools, high schools and sharing this message. He was even invited back to Central Michigan University to speak to the football team before a game, a moment T.J. says he won’t soon forget. “It was the best feeling in the world to go back and speak to the team. I had not been back since the incident, because it was hard for me. But after I spoke one player pulled me aside and as a tear came to his eye, he told me he wanted to thank me for the speech. He told me, ‘I’m hurting. I’m a senior and I don’t know what I am going to do with my life.’ My speech inspired him to know there is life after football. For many of these kids their whole lives have been football. Some even commit suicide, because it’s all they know and the sport can consume you. They have to know there is more to life.”

Even T.J. had to learn there is more to life than football. He never made the NFL, he did sign a pro-contract with the Canadian Football League at one point, but then the team’s owner went bankrupt, T.J. never even played a down. He did play three years in the Arena Football League, but then he got a job to support his family and to fulfill his purpose.

T.J.’s purpose is serving. He and his wife Vylissa have three boys, 13, 11 and 9 and all are excellent athletes. Vylissa is studying to fulfill her dream, to be a lawyer. But she still suffers from the lingering effects of a medical condition for which the treatments are expensive, that’s why T.J. keeps his job as a probation officer in Michigan, and the state insurance helps to cover the costs of those treatments. His ultimate plan is to leave in about three years, once his wife’s practice is up and running and go full-time with his own business – Strength II BE, to publish another book, (with ET’s help and inspiration a few years ago T.J. published, Unleashing the Power, 40 Principles to a Powerful You) and to start a university, which teaches what T.J. knows to be a valuable life lesson.

“I want to start a university, The Athletes of Character University, and take kids from middle school through high school and even into college. This way when they are recruited they can say they went to ACU and the coaches will know they not only learned their subjects, but also learned character development. I don’t care how talented you are, it doesn’t make it right when what you do is wrong. Some parents and coaches are looking the other way, we have failed these kids. I want to turn this around.”

It all comes back to serving. What T.J. has learned watching and engaging with his pastor/mentor Eric Thomas and his own personal relationship with God, as well as reading and constantly improving, has changed his life, not only for himself, but as a husband and father. And T.J. now understands all of this is part of his mission and his personal mark on the world.

T.J.’s personal message is powerful: “Serving, man, serving. Serving has changed my life so much. I really believe the bible teaches you when you find your gift, your gift will make room for you. We are all here for a reason, for a purpose, find your purpose, find your reason and give it away as much as you can and you never work another day in your life. Stop finding money, or things to change the world, serving with your purpose will change you… and eventually change the world.”

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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