As the Commons angrily contested the findings of the Keogh report on NHS mortality rates, Andy Burnham had some stern advice for the Tories. “The simple truth,” he snapped, “is that people watching want solutions, rather than point-scoring!”

Noble words, I’m sure we’d all agree – although perhaps with one small caveat. The Shadow Health Secretary’s words would have sounded even nobler had he said them the moment he rose to the dispatch box, rather than after spending seven minutes calling his opponents “cynical”, “outrageous”, “partisan” and “shocking”. Because spending seven minutes calling his opponents “cynical”, “outrageous”, “partisan” and “shocking” may have looked to some people like point-scoring.

Such people would have been mistaken, of course, because we know how strongly Mr Burnham disapproves of point-scoring. Indeed, he must have been livid, about 20 minutes later, when his colleague Chris Bryant (Lab, Rhondda) mockingly accused Jeremy Hunt of being “run by” Lynton Crosby, the Tory strategist. How Mr Burnham must have fumed when he heard that. “That’s nothing but point-scoring!” he must have thought. Lord knows how he resisted shouting his colleague down.

Then, as other Labour MPs repeatedly tried to drown out Mr Hunt by yelling “Shameful!”, “Terrible!” and “Disgraceful!”, it must have taken all the strength Mr Burnham had not to turn to the benches behind him and bellow, “Would you all stop trying to score points, and offer some solutions! It’s solutions that people want! Why oh why won’t you think of the people watching!”

Labour’s righteous ire had been prompted by the Health Secretary’s statement. The last government, said Mr Hunt, “left the NHS with a system that covered up weak hospital leadership and failed to prioritise compassionate care… It is never acceptable for ministers to put pressure on the NHS to suppress bad news.” Later he said this was Labour’s “darkest moment”.

Probably these words would have sounded quite intimidating had they come from anyone but Mr Hunt, the damp-voiced, boy-faced minister who invariably looks as if he would be more at home on CBBC introducing the latest adventures of Scooby Doo.

A fun game to play is to imagine an alternate universe, in which the Tories were in government until 2010, and Labour in Coalition now. Just think how a Labour-led government would have responded to the Keogh report.

“It isn’t the last Tory government’s fault!” they’d have shouted. “For heaven’s sake, let us not smear and besmirch our Tory friends! This is no time for point-scoring! We must focus on people, not politics! Please! We simply won’t stand to hear any blame for past NHS failings laid at the Tories’ door!”