Hi all
we new just wanted to ask how do you discipline a 11yr old with adhd and oppositional difiance disorder. Nothing seems to be working. We have our hands full with him and it's not getting better.

mildadhd

11-18-15, 10:52 AM

Hi all
we new just wanted to ask how do you discipline a 11yr old with adhd and oppositional difiance disorder. Nothing seems to be working. We have our hands full with him and it's not getting better.

How would you recommend disciplining a 11 yr old with impaired vision?

P

Stevuke79

11-18-15, 11:06 AM

Positive reinforcement.

The first step is acknowledging that this is not easy. It's actually VERY VERY HARD. Good behavior is invisible. We take it for granted. Reinforce it, and it will crowd out the rest.

When punishment is neccessary, make sure the rule and consequences were CLEAR BEFORE the infraction. If they weren't, it's on you and you have to suck it up and just make it clear going forward. A consequence that wasn't spelled out does more harm than good, no matter the infraction.

This isn't just good disciplin... you're setting an example that your child can imitate. Youre teaching him to clearly tell people what he wants, his terms, and to hold people accountable.

Never yell or punishment in anger. Otherwise anger and violence become the example. If you're fuming. . Better to let an infraction go unpunished than demonstrate anger and hostility.

Anger, hostility, as coping mechanisms, are a learned behavior. I'd rather my child not learn those.

Shorter answer: same as any child.

Stevuke79

11-18-15, 11:07 AM

Double post sorry

Lunacie

11-18-15, 12:16 PM

There is some really good advice in the sticky threads at the top of the parenting section.

I found the "Love And Logic" books to be really helpful.

Don't tell the child what you don't want them to do, they will focus on that and do it.

Do tell the child what you do want him to do. Simple, not confusing, often one step at a time.

With practice he will be able to follow two steps and then three.

May never be able to remember more than three steps without checking back. That's adhd.

A lot of this is going to be on you learning what adhd is like, what you can expect and what you can't.

Expecting a child in a wheelchair to kick a football is going make both of you unhappy. Same kind of thing.