Review

Review Summary: A modern fusion of classical and melancholy post-rock.......PSYCHE!!!!!!!Raw black metal.

Slutvomit is a band that only a mother could love. Na, im just ***ing with you mates. Anyone who loves beer, Satan, riffs, and putting fear into the God squad will wholeheartedly love this blasphemous trio. There seems to be a great debate about what black metal is and isn't. Is it black metal if the production is clean or raw? Is black metal about Satan and fury or is about it some hipster tree hugging faggots attempting to save the ecosystem? Can you make a fifteen minute post rock infused song about all that is decent and still be black metal? *** no. For me the essence of black metal lies in an absurd amount of dissonance, unintelligible vocals, sloppy musicianship and fast paced riffing with a side helping of Satan. And boy can Slutvomit Satan. M/

Satanic Slut Metal is a terrific demo by the young Washington based trio Slutvomit. Obviously judging by the bands name and album title, Slutvomit is a classy and thoughtful bunch of young men poised on winning the hearts of America's youth. Their sound is energetic, defiant, brutal and at the same time heartwarming Satanic Slut Metal offers six delicious tracks of poorly produced musical insanity that is designed to rip Edward Cullen's ***ing face off and feed it to those pussy Injun man/wolves. Expect nothing but fast tempos, blunt trauma and Steel Reserve consumption. Yeah that's right, good ol 211. ***ing elite beer for the elite chupacabra slaying marauder. The thing that really sets Slutvomit apart from the other destitute hordes parading around as "troo" black metal bands is their vast confidence. Oh and their ability to write sick riffs. You can't forget the riffs man. No sir. Slutvomit riffs hard and fast for fifteen erotic minutes. M//

Once you press start you are greeted with the opening track "Bombing The Chapel". From the get-go you are violated with muscular riffs, harrowing screams and a copious amount of distortion. And then a solo comes in to simply "take your breath away". The next track Poservore features even greater riffs. This time you are greeted with furious tremolo picking and mid tempo chugging. The song is perfect for headbanging or banging heads, it's your preference rally.The guitarist(s) really love to shred. Quite often you are bombarded with skin tingling solos that makes you remember the first time you took a *** in a movie theater. The drumming has a really tight, aggressive sound. It's probably due to the fact that the snare and doublebass sound are ***ing sporadic. The drummer beats his instrument like a red headed step child. There are no peaceful ambient interludes or haunting acoustic numbers. Just pure ***ing aggression all the way through. The bass is heard quite often through this demo which is surprising. Bass in black metal holy ***. But whatever man. The tone is audible and dynamic enough to breathe life into this unholy recording. Having a Redline addled man spouting Satanic propaganda in a deeply unintelligible voice can benefit you in many kind of ways. Whether it's winning the girl of your dreams, making sputnik users leave the site, writing poetry or in this case being a frontman for a ferocious black metal band, being brootal earns you street cred. Whatcha know about street cred you honky mother***ers? The emotional instability and raw hatred permeating throughout this recording is vile enough to inspire Lady Gaga to pick up the guitars and write some sick riffs. M///

The point that i'm trying to make here folks is that Slutvomit are legit. Slutvomit bring the hardjams. They also bring the riffs. I know sputnik is in love with Wolves in the Throne Room and all those other fairy groups who hybridize black metal with shoegaze or progressive rock, but you know what, that *** ain troo. Either get with the mother***ing program and listen to the real deal or continue posing you hipster schmucks. M////