A Baby boomer is someone born after WWII and before the Beatles, who did or didn't experience the "Swinging Sixties," who did or didn't survive the Vietnam War, and who did or didn't get zonked. Hardly anyone else can comprehend it, and those who claim to also admit to not remembering most of it.

Boomers were battered kids born to war-mongering, Spam-eating, beer drinking, Bob Hope listening, Hitler hating, A-bomb blasting, Kennedy assassinating, pinball playing, Empire State building, square parents who lived or died during WWII, and are forever caught in an emotional triangle of Humphrey Bogart, puritanical values, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that getting laid once cost an entire lifetime.

The Baby boomers appeared just at the right time to grab the new contraceptive pill leaving their parents forever blaming their children for having missed out on all the fun. Unfortunately these days Baby boomers are now basically in-charge. And despite a 1960's of chilling out and telling their parents to be nice to people the WWII generation still managed to carry forward the notion that war equals peace.

Contents

History of Baby boomers

You might have figured that during WW2 there was a lot of shagging going on and that having everyone in Europe hunkered down together in a confined space while Americans watched ball games sounds like a recipe for lots of babies. The truth is that during the war the girls were not up for it at all. With explosions either knocking down their homes, rattling their radios or sensationalizing their newspapers they were not in a procreative mood. That coupled with the fact that most of the guys they actually wanted to shag were either already dead, or were overseas killing people themselves meant that most girls kept their legs thoroughly closed.

After four and a half years of no shagging the bankers finally realised that Hitler was not going to win and stopped lending him money. The war soon ended with a boom over Japan, and those men who were still alive came back home to catch up on all the snatch with a vengeance - thus causing a baby boom which would last until they let everyone have birth control pills. Unfortunately these offspring were not equal - some were worse than others. This shaped up as the divide between hip and unhip Baby boomers, with the Mods and the Rockers in Britain, while in America they were mostly rebels without a cause -- until the barbarous US-fueled Vietnam War.

What are Baby boomers good for?

"I'm what counts out here!"

Absolutely nothing? Well, if not for Baby boomers you wouldn’t even be getting laid… to this day. If it was not for Baby boomers you would think cool refers to the temperature, and there would probably not be any wholesome fun. Without Baby boomers you’d still be using words like, “swell” and “broad!” and saying things like, "ain't she a swell broad?" If it weren’t for Baby boomers you wouldn’t be sitting in front of your Mac, or your PC, and there would be no Internet. You’d still be using a typewriter and counting with your fingers. You would still be worshiping the likes of Frank Sinatra instead of Axl Rose. You might still be hitting the beaches of Incheon and Danang rather than Waikiki. And you'd probably be smoking Lucky Strikes instead of less carcinogenic substances like Maui Wowie and Angel Dust.

Baby boomers developed unmanned warfare

Robot-Ninja-Assassin pilot

Baby boomers were so repulsed by the Vietnam war draft that they developed remote controlled flying robot battle machines or Predator Drones, which will revolutionize robot v/s robot unmanned warfare[1]. Because of Baby boomers, wars in the future could really be a hoot, so much fun that the Army will be turning strong men away and recruiting only geeky, wiz-kids to man-the-bots. Wow! "Bot-Wars" - it sounds so cool.

The war heroes of tomorrow will be pizza-munching twerps who can bull's eye a Womp Rat back on their home console. Only winners can spawn - enemy bots cannot re-spawn. Take out 25 in a kill-streak and get control of a MOAB. Rack 600 points and get hold of a Cruise Missile. Win the war and you get a nuke. And all from the relative safety of Disneyland. Man! Whoever said the "pen is mightier than the sword" for sure never played Bot-Wars!

Conclusion

So when you use your skateboard, your digital watch, your pocket calculator, your smart-phone, your electric garbage can opener, your hip threads, your two-stroke dildo, your hemp shoes, your nylon socks, your plasma TV, your DVD player, your iMac, your Birkenstocks, your roach clip, and your Internet, you can thank Baby boomers for making it all possible. Forget the golden age of aviation or the industrial age or all past discoveries, and don't notice that since the Baby boomers have been in charge China now owns the United States and there are millions of illegals wrecking a debt riddled economy. And never mind that social security is going under along with welfare because the whole thing is run by war pigs like Paul Wolfowitz. None of these things are very important. But what does matter is whether the military industrial complex can reverse engineer and weaponize extraterrestrial technology before the Baby boomers off-spring decide to round-up all the globalists and ban human hostility.

Now go make a fresh carrot-cucumber juice and be grateful for the original and ground-breaking Baby boomers.