Instead of the emotional trauma of having to go up to one person with hat and hand and say "Oh please kind sir can I please have help with X?" - I would instead say that you set as a goal that you find a solution for X. Then in normal conversation with people you say, "By the way, I am brainstorming ways to handle X. I need some help with it. What do you think?" You never know which random person will have the PERFECT solution for you. Maybe your neighbor knows someone at the propane company! You never know until you talk.

That way you get your needs met, and you are making your needs known - but in a way that feels positive to you, rather than in a way that makes you feel helpless and needy.

It's very true. I would feel like I was putting people on the spot if I just came out and asked for something. And it IS putting people in a bad position if they are really busy or not interested or something. So I like the idea of sharing the info, but not in a pathetic poor-me way. I will have to think on this some more.

And yes, habits do take a while to get automatic, but that's where we put forth the effort to remember.

Update - I've been feeling pretty mellow the last few days, which is a big relief, since this is coming on the heels of some very bad depressed days.

I think what has made the difference has been going on regular hikes in Sedona with a friend, and phoning/texting my mother. It also helps that I now have a real solid plan for where I will be living, and that I will finally be seeing my husband again for a few months, after a really long absence.

Well, I am here in my new home. We've been having issues with some of the utilities, as this place has been abandoned since April, and the pipes and various heating machines need serious servicing (the pilot light will not stay on for example in the heater and there is a bad water leak in the back yard. The place is full of dirt and smears and cobwebs. Some windows are cracked and one has a whole in it. But these are all fixable items. They will get under control soon enough.

I am just so happy to be here. I have so much more ROOM, for one thing, than in the RV. Plus I am not lonely - it is very nice to have Dan here. We are promising to start fresh with each other. I hope we can do so.

I feel like i am on a honeymoon.

It would be nice to actually take one, now that I think about it. Maybe it's something we can save for some day.

That is *awesome* Jilly - and in a way it's good that it is starting in a "raw" shape! As you polish and refine it, you will appreciate every little change, and soon you will have an ultimate cozy home there - all due to your own hands.

Thank you, Lisa, that is how we are trying to see it. Dan and I spent HOURS today scrubbing and soaking and rinsing things.

I bought a long tapered brush from a dollar store to run under the stove and fridge...it was excavating. We found all kinds of things. Like dead bugs, old food, a matchbox car, screws, and what i call "schmutz." We threw the matchbox car in the goodwill bin and the screws in the trash, and then vacuumed up the rest. It was kinda fun, although I think dan didn't share my joy in our archeological dig.

Then I crawled around on the floor with a rag and scrubbed the old 1970s linoleum. It doesn't look good - it really can't - but at least it's clean. Then we both scrubbed the schmutz off the lower walls and the doorways, doorhandles, light switches, window sills...got the cobwebs from the ceilings and corners....I enjoy good clean work like this. Much more to do but we did a solid.

It was satisfying. I was *going* to go hiking today, but it ended up being cold and dreary out. So a good day to just clean and organize things. I found homes for a few items and am starting to assign what goes in which cabinets.

The heater still isn't working but we have to keep on the landlord to get this done...

Anyway things are coming together gradually. At some point we will find the time to go get our furniture. We are sleeping on the floor and using garden chairs for seats. Whatever works, yes?