My beautiful Autistic daughter.

sinfultatt

Posted 08/25/2015

Goodmorning fellow moms. How many moms here actually have a child with Autism? I know there are a few at least. I myself have a daughter with Autism. She's 11. I see all these posts about autism and vaccines, autism and Tylenol, autism and certain foods etc... it makes me laugh a little on the inside. So many people fear what they don't know. The other moms here with children with autism, believe me when I say I understand all your struggles, your tears and your joys, your celebrations of the milestones no matter how small or petty they may seem. To the few I've seen (and argued with) that work with children or adults on the spectrum, bless you. Because without people like you to help our children I don't know where any of us would be. I can't say thank you enough for all you do. And for the people who still posts about autism and vaccines, I kind of want to give you an invisible punch to the throat..just in general. Your biggest fears, Your worst hushed upon theorys and speculations are some of our lives. And for mine, I am absolutely thankful... My daughter was diagnosed by the age of two, but speculation at 16 months. She was That spinning, flapping, non verbal, no eye contact etc. 'Typical autism symptoms' and I use that term extremely lightly. She was my first child, She just turned 11, and I couldn't be any prouder of her. Feel free to ask me Any questions.

Comments (14)

How's your daughter doing now? Is she talking? When did you start therapies and what therapies did you do? My dd (dear daughter) is 25 months old and not talking yet. She also toe walks and mouths objects. She is being evaluated now but so far clinical psychologist does see autism.... we don't know yet. .. any advice or opinions would be appreciated. Thanks

She's actually doing amazing! She was non verbal until almost 4. She could say milk and no and key (her teddy).. that was it. She literally couldn't look at anyone, She would spend hours, And I mean HOURS by herself, her favorite thing to do was line up crayons, by color after peeling the paper off. Right now, She still occasionally has melt downs, they are pretty intense, but i learned at a young age with her you always have a plan b, always have an escape route. We couldn't do things like go to the mall, her sensory would overboard and she would absolutely panic. she started early intervention at 2.5 in home. I had them stop coming because she had her key (teddy) he was her lifeline and they would take him away and expect her to say "want key" and she would melt down, cry hysterically until she passed out. They also did sensory, and expected her to dip goldfish into pudding etc. At 3 I got her into early intervention out of them home. She also did speech, sensory, ot etc. It was a HUGE deal when She graduated ot last year. OT (off topic) is Occupational therapy, the use of assessment and treatment to develop, recover, or maintain the daily living and work skills of people with a physical, mental, or cognitive disorder. She is now main stream going into sixth grade. With an aide and an IEP. Her vocabulary is amazing, She uses huge words and she's very grounded and serious. She still has issues with new places, lots of people; certain noises etc. She does take medication but medication for adhd, she used to be on a lot more. Her original psychiatrist used her like a guinea pig until I changed drs. As for toe walking, my seven year old daughter us a chronic toe walker, And is in physical therapy for it, I'm not sure that's a warning sign of autism, if so im not informed about that. My almost 3 year old daughter is delayed, She was a late talker, late in many milestones. I wanted to get her into early intervention but her father asked me to wait because of the stigma of it, didn't want her automatically labeled because of her sister. She will be three in two weeks and is literally only just starting to make big sentances. The thing to remember is no two children are the same. In my case I knew my daughter Was 'special' before any dr assessment. Her absolute refusal to look in my eyes, And that I couldn't hug her, no one could was the biggest signs for me.

Hearing the word Autism is the scariest thing you will ever go through. Your feelings are justified, the fear the feelings of failing and depression are all normal. If I can give any one advice is that you know your child more than any dr ever can, And you will learn to become your child's voice, eyes ears etc. You will get through it, maybe not the way you had pictured it, just a road with more curves and bumps. Stay strong moms!

Hearing the word Autism is the scariest thing you will ever go through. Your...

Posted
08/25/2015

Hearing the word Autism is the scariest thing you will ever go through. Your feelings are justified, the fear the feelings of failing and depression are all normal. If I can give any one advice is that you know your child more than any dr ever can, And you will learn to become your child's voice, eyes ears etc. You will get through it, maybe not the way you had pictured it, just a road with more curves and bumps. Stay strong moms!

Your answers are touching. You are really a very strong mom because since I am worried about my 1 year old, I am no longer thinking about a second baby, even if it turns out to be normal.

I am not scared because I might have a daughter on the spectrum but I am more scared because of her, what the future is going to hold for us then, just the unknown part of it... Also I dont know if I am strong enough to go through a challanging phase of my life!

I admire you! Also the result of these years sounds really amazing! I am happy to hear all the developments!

Do you have any tips on how can I cope with a bumpy road? My Daughter has low tone muscles and already struggling with gross motor and I am working at hone with her. When I see no inprovements I get really frustrated sometimes and hopeless...

Your answers are touching. You are really a very strong mom because since I a...

Posted
08/25/2015

Your answers are touching. You are really a very strong mom because since I am worried about my 1 year old, I am no longer thinking about a second baby, even if it turns out to be normal.

I am not scared because I might have a daughter on the spectrum but I am more scared because of her, what the future is going to hold for us then, just the unknown part of it... Also I dont know if I am strong enough to go through a challanging phase of my life!

I admire you! Also the result of these years sounds really amazing! I am happy to hear all the developments!

Do you have any tips on how can I cope with a bumpy road? My Daughter has low tone muscles and already struggling with gross motor and I am working at hone with her. When I see no inprovements I get really frustrated sometimes and hopeless...

All I can offer you is that age three four and five, im not even sure how I survived that. I have never in my life gone through those emotions, those struggles, those battles. The emotions are real. You are going to want to fight, then forfeit. Then scream, then cry. For me personally, I didn't think I was strong enough, and then one day I woke up realising there was no other option. No one in this world will ever fight as hard at anything then a parent who understands what having a child on the spectrum is. I still have days I struggle. Have days where the guilt kicks in, I cried last week because I yelled at her for something, I don't even remember what, And she went to bed and the guilt kicks in. I worry daily about her future. I'm more than scared about sending her off to school next week, bullying is real and its hard. Excpecially with a child that doesn't understand. She was on the small bus her entire life, And just transitioned to the big bus, The innocence, the look on her face as that bus drove away, its a feeling of such pride and sadness all rolled into one.

A lot of parents don't have a good support system. You'll quickly learn very few people will offer to watch your child, and if you are lucky enough to get a break you will constantly worry. Often times you'll hear how 'bad' they are, or misbehaving. If your child has melt downs, ignore the stares, the looks, The judgment of other people. I know first Hand what its like to carry my daughter kicking and screaming through a store. Worrying about how other people perceive you as a parent isn't going to help. Do the best you can. You'll learn routine. You'll be able to pick up on cues that lead to tears. Depression is real, if you need help don't feel guilty about seeking a dr for yourself. I was on paxil for years. Most importantly know that nothing happens overnight. If your child gets a diagnoses of autism, don't beat yourself up. Your child is not broken, he/she is different. Everything you ever thought you knew about being a parent is erased and you learn daily as you go. My daughter's father couldn't handle it, and he left, he didn't look back. I struggled with the fog feelings for years. I did it on my own. I'm now married and have 4 children. I promise you you will get through it, you will never know how much inner strength you have. If today is one of those bad days, wake up the next morning with your head held hi, you can only do the best you can. Your best, I promise you, is good enough

Another example, my daughter was terrified of Dunkin Donuts, pure fear, which made leaving the house near impossible. It took years, years to finally get her to be able to just drive by one. I started slowly pulling into the parking lots, then eventually got to holding her hand and standing outside the car, to finally getting her to walk towards the door and into the building. It wasn't until she was almost 8 I was finally able to put two and two together and realise it was never Dunkin Donuts, but the mascot, the big costume cup with eyes. For almost 5 years I could never figure out why she was terrified. ( I Live in Massachusetts, therefore they are on ever corner)

All I can offer you is that age three four and five, im not even sure how I ...

Posted
08/25/2015

All I can offer you is that age three four and five, im not even sure how I survived that. I have never in my life gone through those emotions, those struggles, those battles. The emotions are real. You are going to want to fight, then forfeit. Then scream, then cry. For me personally, I didn't think I was strong enough, and then one day I woke up realising there was no other option. No one in this world will ever fight as hard at anything then a parent who understands what having a child on the spectrum is. I still have days I struggle. Have days where the guilt kicks in, I cried last week because I yelled at her for something, I don't even remember what, And she went to bed and the guilt kicks in. I worry daily about her future. I'm more than scared about sending her off to school next week, bullying is real and its hard. Excpecially with a child that doesn't understand. She was on the small bus her entire life, And just transitioned to the big bus, The innocence, the look on her face as that bus drove away, its a feeling of such pride and sadness all rolled into one.
A lot of parents don't have a good support system. You'll quickly learn very few people will offer to watch your child, and if you are lucky enough to get a break you will constantly worry. Often times you'll hear how 'bad' they are, or misbehaving. If your child has melt downs, ignore the stares, the looks, The judgment of other people. I know first Hand what its like to carry my daughter kicking and screaming through a store. Worrying about how other people perceive you as a parent isn't going to help. Do the best you can. You'll learn routine. You'll be able to pick up on cues that lead to tears. Depression is real, if you need help don't feel guilty about seeking a dr for yourself. I was on paxil for years. Most importantly know that nothing happens overnight. If your child gets a diagnoses of autism, don't beat yourself up. Your child is not broken, he/she is different. Everything you ever thought you knew about being a parent is erased and you learn daily as you go. My daughter's father couldn't handle it, and he left, he didn't look back. I struggled with the fog feelings for years. I did it on my own. I'm now married and have 4 children. I promise you you will get through it, you will never know how much inner strength you have. If today is one of those bad days, wake up the next morning with your head held hi, you can only do the best you can. Your best, I promise you, is good enough

I enjoyed reading your posts. Thank you

I'm an occasional lurker on this board, active member on the Children w/ Autism board, as I have two kids on the spectrum, ages 5 & 2.

All I can offer you is that age three four and five, im not even sure how I ...

Posted
08/25/2015

All I can offer you is that age three four and five, im not even sure how I survived that. I have never in my life gone through those emotions, those struggles, those battles. The emotions are real. You are going to want to fight, then forfeit. Then scream, then cry. For me personally, I didn't think I was strong enough, and then one day I woke up realising there was no other option. No one in this world will ever fight as hard at anything then a parent who understands what having a child on the spectrum is. I still have days I struggle. Have days where the guilt kicks in, I cried last week because I yelled at her for something, I don't even remember what, And she went to bed and the guilt kicks in. I worry daily about her future. I'm more than scared about sending her off to school next week, bullying is real and its hard. Excpecially with a child that doesn't understand. She was on the small bus her entire life, And just transitioned to the big bus, The innocence, the look on her face as that bus drove away, its a feeling of such pride and sadness all rolled into one.
A lot of parents don't have a good support system. You'll quickly learn very few people will offer to watch your child, and if you are lucky enough to get a break you will constantly worry. Often times you'll hear how 'bad' they are, or misbehaving. If your child has melt downs, ignore the stares, the looks, The judgment of other people. I know first Hand what its like to carry my daughter kicking and screaming through a store. Worrying about how other people perceive you as a parent isn't going to help. Do the best you can. You'll learn routine. You'll be able to pick up on cues that lead to tears. Depression is real, if you need help don't feel guilty about seeking a dr for yourself. I was on paxil for years. Most importantly know that nothing happens overnight. If your child gets a diagnoses of autism, don't beat yourself up. Your child is not broken, he/she is different. Everything you ever thought you knew about being a parent is erased and you learn daily as you go. My daughter's father couldn't handle it, and he left, he didn't look back. I struggled with the fog feelings for years. I did it on my own. I'm now married and have 4 children. I promise you you will get through it, you will never know how much inner strength you have. If today is one of those bad days, wake up the next morning with your head held hi, you can only do the best you can. Your best, I promise you, is good enough

Wow! Thank you! That's all I can say. As a parent who is seeing a few red flags, this type of honesty and reassuring words are so completely helpful!

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