“We are going to need your seatback and tray table in their full upright and locked position, sir”. “Well, I’m going to need you to get off my back and bring me another cold one. It’s not enough that you crammed another row of seats into this tin can while no one was looking, but the fact that you’re now calling the airline the Tijuana Taxi leaves little room for any trust on my part. This is exactly why I opted to carry on my Burton Wheelie Flyer. That, and the fact that you charge twenty bucks just to ask about checked luggage.”