Tape Wars

In December 2012, Tape Man was abducted by an organization known as GENTS (Generally Empathetic Nonsensical Terror Squad). The organization released a ransom note demanding the following:

On Wednesday, every bc-chat thread must end with a picture of a cute animal.

On Thursday, a couchboat must be manned in Smith from noon until midnight by at least three Brownies.

On Friday, at least five songs must be caroled on the Gildergreen.

Following his abduction, an organization was formed to combat GENTS that called itself BOOB (Brownies Opposing Offensive Blackmail). BOOB was a coalition of Anti-Quad (led by Holmes) and Quad (led by Mallet) forces. An organization called INTERNET (Individuals Not That Enthusiatic Regarding Negotiating onlinE Terrorism) announced that they would not cave to the demands of GENTS. After the INTERNET subdepartment COCK ( Covert Operations of Concerned Knowledge) attempted to interrogate a prime suspect, a falsified tape corpse was discovered leading to flying accusations of subterfuge and placing false evidence.

After a period of chaos, in which many Brownies were incorrectly accused of Tape Man's abduction, BOOB and INTERNET united to create the super-investigatory group PORN (People Opposing Radical Neo-terrorists). With the vast resources of PORN coordinated, Tape Man's location was traced to 224 Gildersleeve.

A raid of 224 Gildersleeve resulted in a vicious firefight, the narrow escape of Tape Man, a narrow escape from quiet hours violations, and hurt feelings all around. Morgan Dodson and Patrick Steiner, residents of 224, were identified as suspected GENTS affiliates. After this raid, BOOB/PORN declared a cease-fire to attend to the wounded (and finals). The Gildergreen, objecting to the invasion of their sovereign territory, seceded from Brown to create a confederacy. During this time, Davis also seceded, becoming the Jefferson Davis Presidential Portal and Smith declared itself Switzerland. A peace summit was held at Sigma Pi (SERP) in an attempt to restore peace.

After several weeks without any new developments, a series of emails were sent to the listserv, bc-chat, from the Grand Poobah of him with Tapeman back at his house, playing monopoly and sipping Tapeman's favorite beverage (scotch). Although he later claimed to bring Tapeman back to return him to his compatriots, Tapeman was rapidly stolen again. His whereabouts to this day are unknown.