We have an annual porn virgins parade through our town. Young men and their guide dogs march proudly through the town and hedges and civic gardens and chase after rabbits, to proclaim the benefits of purity of thought and deed. At the end of the also mêlée, they raise their bandaged hands in a salute to Family values.

Kids today just know way too much about the junk. They can examine the junk in repose, in active stimulation, is expelling fluids and, if you're observing something less than 'A' grade porn, chunks. They know what goes where, and if it doesn't actually go there, what it takes to insert it anyway. They know what all the parts of all the pieces of all the bits are, what they do and what should be done with them.

I went sixteen thousand miles and let the fuckers SHOOT at me in the forlorn hope of discovering just exactly what chicks have for junk.