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Leno: Only Our Asses Are Expanding

The best of Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and David Letterman from last night's late-night monologues.

A Mother of a Veto: It was reported today that Michelle Obama wants her mother to move into the White House with them. This is expected to be the first time Barack uses his veto power.

"B" Is for Bankrupt: Congratulations to Sesame Street—they are 39 years old this week. Who would have ever thought 39 years ago Sesame Street would still be going strong and Wall Street would wind up getting canceled?

Lemon Aid: Here's good news: the Bush presidency is covered under the Lemon Law. Did you know that? That means we could be getting our money back.

Store Credit: Sarah Palin is finally speaking to reporters, and not a moment too soon. Last night she was on Fox News, with Greta Van Susteren. Today she was on The Today Show, with Matt Lauer. In fact, this week she's going to speak to a bunch of other governors in Miami. Then she's going to go on a long tour to return clothes to different department stores all across America.

Supersized: McDonald's profits are up more than 8 percent because of the poor economy. You know what that means? … The only part of America growing now: our asses.