RIFF’d: Mayer Hawthorne’s ‘Where Does This Door Go’

Mayer Hawthorne has made no qualms about how his new record sounds nothing like his previous two, which is odd because it does. Sure the sonic angle has changed – thanks to the ubiquitous production of guys like Pharell and Jack Splash – but the lyrics have settled comfortably into familiar territory, a series of epic fails that present Hawthorne as the lovable loser type. He’s trying desperately to capitalize off the nice guy routine, but it does little as far as major label appeal goes. He’s relying too heavily on the sympathy card, which is okay for two, maybe three songs, but to extend it over the course of an album (bonus songs included) leaves him hopelessly characterized. It doesn’t even begin to touch upon his true talents. If Mayer Hawthorne wants to evolve it’s going to have to happen through his songwriting, and most importantly through his underrated sense of humor. What once started out as a joke for Andrew Mayer Cohen has now become his main shtick, and it’s a bit of a let down – at least for now – on how little he’s actually done with it.

If Mayer Hawthorne was any softer he’d float away. Or melt into the ground like a stick of butter on a hot pan. After listening to him ride out the victim role yet again, it’s a wonder if he knows anything but. It’s a little gimmicky, which is all too familiar territory for longtime fans:

While it’s got a jovial nature to it, “The Innocent” is merely another example of Mayer tucking his tail in between his legs and running for the woods like a frightened squirrel. He’s being cute, thinking that he’ll win fans with the sympathy vote, but it’s too emasculating to truly win fans over:

Mayer stops sobbing just long enough to offer some sage advice. Whoever Allie Jones is, isn’t nearly as important as to why she’s seeking advice from a guy who got his moniker the same way porn stars do. Maybe that doesn’t bother her, if it means getting through one more day alive: [LISTEN]

When Mayer Hawthorne’s not busy drying his eyes, he’s coming up with cleverly written songs like this one – where his uncertainty becomes a reason to elevate as opposed to a grounding, and ultimately fleeting, source of inspiration. Few and far between as far as long time fans are concerned:

Apparently it’s escaping the attention of millions or at least Mayer Hawthorne, that every Pharell beat basically sounds the same. As a result the accompanying artist tends to blend into obscurity – an all too familiar landscape that has Mayer trying to turn a ho into a housewife:

Whatever her favorite song is let’s just assume it’s not this one. At least Mayer’s being forthright about that. He’s again dropping to his knees praising a girl that he can only seem to outline – a symptom that exposes some anemic writing: [LISTEN]

Making a party jam about not being able to party is like crying at your own funeral – pointless and a bit of a downer. Can’t get to Kendrick fast enough who does his part in saving Mayer from sticking his foot even further into his mouth: [LISTEN]

Another example of how with a little thoughtful reflection Mayer can hammer out a decent song – this one for the old man. The only catch is that the depth of the lyrics force him outside the familiar ballads, which in turn shows how average a singer he really is:

There’s an old saying, that you can never lose someone to another. That if a person leaves, it is of their own volition. So if Mayer is beating his head against a wall for letting his lady find another he should take solace in knowing that she checked out long before she even left:

Just when you thought Mayer was going to break through and man up he takes a huge step back with another sob story. How great it would have been had he actually relayed his recovery as opposed to him hiding under a rock. It would have made the second half of the album much more engaging:

Apparently Mayer Hawthorne is way more sensitive than anyone could have ever imagined, which isn’t an altogether bad thing. But when he talks about wanting more than just sex it’s hard not to imagine him crying at the feet of some lady. It’s a revealing portrait that renders him one-dimensional:

Mayer goes back in time to reminisce over a point in his life when he wasn’t nearly as defeated as he is now – a simple celebration of youth and vitality. He’s already working the nostalgic angle to death, but this works to his advantage as it loosens the restrictions he’s put on himself:

With tired analogies like this it’s hard not to compare Mayer Hawthorne to an old sock – the one without a match but you continue to wash anyways in hopes of finding its other. The repetitious ballads and falsetto seals the deal. He’s washed up before even getting started:

Applause

whaaaat duuu fuuuunk, I personally find this album stunning, and as Mayer’s new fan, admit that he stole my heart with “The Innocent”.

J. Min

More like lack of funk. Man, I just couldn’t get into this. He’s just way too gimmicky. I thought A Strange Arrangement was an okay album, but even then I remember thinking he only had so much time before he was exposed, which is to say that dude can’t sing. I’ve seen him live twice and thought that he’s way out of his league. But alas, it’s just my humble opinion, and I respect your words Applause. Have you heard his earlier stuff? I do still really like “Just Ain’t Gonna Work Out.”

Applause

I see what you mean! I, as well, am commenting right after his live concert in Paris, and, maybe because my expectations about his voice were not that high, he impressed me in a way. ( as well as in his remix of Chromeo’s “Don’t Turn The Lights On”, for someone who never learnt how to sing, he manages to do that pretty well in that one!)
Yes, I’ve heard the earlier records, and I started liking him from the previous albums. I also completely agree with you that he is not using his potential to the fullest… Well, who knows, maybe it’s a tough period in his life and he will shine brighter funk-wise in the future, at least he has some potential to reveal, right ? 😉
Some part of me really supports your arguments, but, on the other hand, maybe I’m not that picky slash have a very developed taste in music or his new songs are just right for me in the moment, I still find them really good, and manage to find the soul and funk he originally intended to put there behind somewhat sugary appearance 🙂 Cheers!