I met my bestfriend from high school, Aby, when we were in elementary. But we didn’t become friends; she thought I was a bitch. Trech recounts that I first came up to her on the first day of college asking, “Is there someone you don’t like in the block?” I don’t know if that’s true or why I entrusted such spicy information to a stranger.

“I want to see you human, with emotions. Coz you’re always just ok.” The same thing that Trech calls unprocessed, raw, pure emotion. “I wish you’d find your match, someone to tell that you’re just this, you know, that you’re not higher than anyone.”

Aby doesn’t exactly believe that I’m suffering from some kind of superiority complex. I guess she was saying something deeply important.

We all have biases, prejudices and preconceptions. These are necessary for human survival (black man, jock, insurance agent, tattoos, salesmen, red high heels, dyed hair, thick glasses, cheerleader). This is my human templating. Profiling people and putting them in their rightful template. This reduces the element of surprise to the minimum and allows for smooth interaction (knowing what each wants to hear and how they react).

Not that I don’t believe in the good in every one. In fact, I do. I’m a believer of that precious moment when people step out of the template and become a true special person(read Jung: quick, complete). I love surprise.

Unstirred Emotions

I want unpredictable. Will is unpredictable. Consciousness is unpredictable. Truth is unpredictable. Soul is unpredictable.

When I was 18, I ran for the chairmanship of SK (a youth government for the smallest unit of society). I didn’t have money, machinery and all the M’s of politics. I just knew that I wanted to run. Classmates from elementary and high school (though I hadn’t seen most of them for years) joined me in going from house to house, giving away flyers, carrying huge tarpaulins with my face on… all embarrassing things! We were kids trying to do all the best we can. I was even happier when Rachael was there not merely because we’re friends, but because she believed that I can do something. Still, it was a sure loss.

But I knew that I would hate my young self in the future had I not done it. I guess this future-orientation has allowed me to live in the present, to understand that whatever was present would eventually pass. I only wanted to reminisce a movie-like life story.

Always make the strengthening decision. This may not be the decision for the leap in your career, relationship, nor your academic progress. But training yourself to act as you believe decreases the power of fear over you.

Once a young professor was making a sea voyage. He was a highly educated man with a long tail of letters after his name, but he had little experience of life. In the crew of the ship on which he was travelling was an illiterate old sailor. Every evening, the sailor would visit the cabin of the young professor to listen to him lecture on many different subjects. He was very impressed with the learning of the young man.

One evening as the sailor was about to leave the cabin after several hours of conversation, the professor asked, “Old man, have you studied geology?” | “What is that, sir?” |“The science of the earth.” |“No, sir, I have never been to any school or college. I have never studied anything.” | “Old man, you have wasted a quarter of your life.” With a long face the old sailor went away. “If such a learned person says so, certainly it must be true,” he thought. “I have wasted a quarter of my life!”

Next evening again as the sailor was about to leave the cabin, the professor asked him, “Old man, have you studied oceanography?” | “What is that, sir?” | “The science of the sea.” | “No, sir, I have never studied anything.” | “Old man, you have wasted half your life.” With a still longer face the sailor went away: “I have wasted half my life; this learned man says so.”

Next evening once again the young professor questioned the old sailor: “Old man, have you studied meteorology?’ | “What is that, sir? I have never even heard of it.” | “Why, the science of the wind, the rain, the weather.” | “No, sir. As I told you, I have never been to any school. I have never studied anything.” | “You have not studied the science of the oath on which you live; you have not studied the science of the sea on which you earn your livelihood; you have not studied the science of the weather which you encounter every day? Old man, you have wasted three quarters of your life.” The old sailor was very unhappy: “This learned man says that I have wasted three quarters of my life! Certainly I must have wasted three quarters of my life.”

The next day it was the turn of the old sailor. He came running to the cabin of the young man and cried, “Professor sir, have you studied swimology” | “Swimology? What do you mean?” | “Can you swim, sir?” | “No, I don’t know how to swim.”

“Professor sir, you have wasted all your life! The ship has struck a rock and is sinking. Those who can swim may reach the nearby shore, but those who cannot swim will drown. I am so sorry, professor sir, you have surely lost your life.”

Reading this blog for entertainment alone may not do you any good. Go swim, or prepare to cut yourself.