Friday, April 01, 2016

On the urging of my husband, Jim, I decided to write this
“essay” on disability, AWP, and the disability caucus. There have been rumors
and misinformation flying left and right about disability, the caucus, and accessibility
at AWP. There have been many posts and articles criticizing the caucus. There
have been just as many articles and posts about the treatment of disabled
writers at AWP from people who are very mad, yet refused to help with the
caucus. There have also been things published that are factually incorrect.

I want to be clear. This article isn’t about shaming people;
hence, no names will be referred to other than in positives ways and no links
will be put up. It isn’t about putting down the choices of others, or the way
others have chosen to deal with the issues of AWP and the world. This essay is absolutely not about trying to trump the
many, many people who have come before me nor to belittle their work. Nor is
this essay about my ego.

This essay is about the story of what happened, and the work
that me and six or seven others did. If only to congratulate and remind myself.
No need to join or even congratulate us, but I would like people to read before
they continue to criticize, spread rumors, and protest.

If you want to skip the blather- scroll down to the
“timeline.”

Before I continue. A bit about me. I am passionate activist
and poet. I live in NYC with my husband, one son, and four animals. I have been
an “outsider” poet all my life. My father is a ‘famous’ critic, so I grew up
with literature, but my entry into the poetry world has been slow. I was
writing for 10 years before my first book, and twenty before any recognition.

I am the author of three books of poetry, co-editor of
Beauty is a Verb, and independent scholar/biographer of the poet Larry Eigner.
I have no institutional backing. I do not have an academic job. I am able to
support my work through SSDI and my husband’s teaching salary – neither of
which are large. I was a NYC high school teacher for 4 years, but unable to
deal with the prejudice, so I left. I adjunct and enjoy it. But, due to the
fact that I have cerebral palsy and a speech impediment, I’ve found navigating
the New York job market nearly impossible. In short, I equate myself to Sylvia
Plath. I am a writer/housewife. All the work I have done with AWP has been
solely funded my own household and initiative.

Here is my story:

Last year, I was invited to do a disability panel for Poetry
magazine by my friend Don Share. I do not like AWP and have to fund my own
trips, so I didn’t really want to do it. However, I have a good friend from
Winona and desperately wanted to experience Minneapolis, so I packed up my 10
year old son and off we went.

The morning of the panel, my cell phone rang. I got the call
that one of my best friends had died of a brain tumor. She moved to Russian
previously and we had lost touch. Needless to say, this was all not fun… a lot
happened next… but I will skip ahead.

Jeffrey and I were in the book fair, and we met two wonderful
disabled writers:Leslye Orr and Katie.
They said to me, why doesn’t AWP have a disability caucus? I said, “What is a
caucus?” Also, after the panel, a wonderful writer named Kelly Davio approached
me. She told me that she knew someone on the AWP staff. I believe this was
Christian Tersi. She had asked the person to come I and watch the end of the
panel. This person was interested.

I went home and emailed my “true partner in crime,” Sheila
Black, and said “What is a caucus?” She didn’t really know either, but we
decided that if other minorities had one… hell, even elementary school teachers
had one, we needed one too. We turned to our friend ‘Facebook” for help.

Meanwhile, our third, Michael Northen, was way ahead of the
game. Early on, he began working on the Disability Consortium Table and a
reading for AWP. He had a successful fundraiser to make this happen.

Here is the next chain of events:

I cannot find the original post, but just days after AWP
2015, I got to work, with Sheila’s urging. I put a post on Facebook to build a
caucus.

On April 14, 2015 I posted a Facebook message asking for 30
regular attendees to sign a petition for a disability caucus.

On April 15, I had collected about 20 signatures; the first
on my list was Lynn Melnick of Vida. There were a number of trans writers on
the list and the list was primarily able-bodied people.

Later that day, Meg Day approached me via email and
expressed interest in helping form the caucus.

By April 27, 2015 Meg, Sheila, and I had exchanged 30
emails. Meg had drafted the caucus proposal to AWP. This added up (already) to
numerous unpaid hours.

On April 15, 2015 I started a Facebook group for writers
with disabilities.

By May, we three, with Meg doing most of the paperwork, had
submitted the caucus to AWP. So, the recent article that the caucus was put
together AFTER the outcry simply isn’t true.

Then came the scandals. I am not going to dwell on those
because, frankly, most people were following those versus the work we did for
the caucus.

A primary complaint was that there were no disability
specific panels accepted to AWP 2016, with the exception of the caucus.

Later, turned out this wasn’t completely true. The truth was more complex. There were actually a
few panels based on trauma and illness and other panels with disabled writers
on them.

Also, I was hesitant about signing the petition because it
insisted retroactively that a disability panel be accepted, and personally, I
did not agree with that. But, I am thrilled the petition got out there and
helped.

OnAugust 1st,
I reached out to Christian Teresi via facebook.(Also, messaged David Fenza who did not reply). This started a 12 page
correspondence about accessibility at AWP. I pressed hard on issues of getting
a disabled activist on the Board, in the subcommittees, and accessibility
issues. Meanwhile, Sandra Beasley, who lives in DC, and Sarah Katz, who works
for AWP, were also working on these issues.

On August 3, 2015, Christian approached Sheila, Meg, and I
regarding all the negative media attention that AWP had received. This (again)
began a 20 plus email exchange. I posed question based on what I had read of
other’s experiences, my own experience at Bronycon. and Meg and Sheila’s
suggestions. Some of these were:

1. Is there a possibility of getting a person at registration to help people
with disabilities so that we don't have to wait in line?

2.
Is there a possibility that the person people connect with via email can ask as
a liaison for folks if hotels give them trouble?

3.
Is there a possibility that the language on the website can reflect the MLA
language?

4.
Is there a possibility that AWP can apologize for past inaccessibility issues?

5, is
there a possibility that it be a REQUIREMENT that panelist bring print outs to
panels? I don't even think that this should be in accessibility, but in general
rules...

6.
Could AWP consider using CART?

Because it is email, I cannot post the answers without CT
permission. If he gives it, I will.

This led to a 2-hour telephone conference with Christian and
others at AWP. Hopefully, I’m getting my point across. This was a lot of work
and time. All along the way, we asked people to post complains, suggestions,
and be involved. Many complained. Few helped.

But now we had a caucus and we needed to get organized. We
quickly learned that Meg won a grant and was leaving for Australia. Over the
next few months, Meg put countless hours into making bylaws, building a website,
forming twitter, and Facebook pages and so on. Meanwhile, Sandra Beasley, Sarah
Katz, Jillian Weisse, Michael Northen, Kelly Davio, and Ellen McGrath Smith all
were working steadily on preparing for the caucus. Jim Ferris agreed to be
nominated for president. I kept reaching out to people to address specific
issues.

Through countless emails and hours, as a group, we were able
to

1.Build a caucus with a website, bylaws, a Board
and social media.

2.Get AWP to put more benches in the convention.

3.Put a
disability activist on the 2017 selection sub-committee.

4.Meet
numerous writers through social media.

5.Make AWP very much aware of the issues of
disabled writers.

6.And agree to only list accessible sites on the
off-site schedule (although this didn’t pan out as we intended).

Now, that I write this. I feel we
haven’t accomplished as much and as vast as we set out to do. Although, just
having the attention of the Directors, forming a caucus where there was none,
and getting an activist on the subcommittee was a lot. Next year, it will be an
even bigger splash.

What I mainly would like to point
out is that I do not deserve to be put down or attacked. I, and many others,
did hours and hours of work. We asked many to help. Many declined. We still
went ahead. The work surely isn’t done. These are just baby steps.