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yep, there is one here mate ! i am fairly new to this but feel free to Private message me if there is anything i can help you with. At the very least i will be able to give you a straight, married perspective on things

Wishful, I'm very new to our condition so my feedback will be minimal, but I consider myself 'straight'.

I have no idea if it would interest anyone, but to clarify while I have had a few experiences with other males I'm quite convinced I contracted the virus through heterosexual sex. In my case this was unprotected sex with female 'sex workers', perhaps an atypical route to infection among posters on this board, though not such an unusual one worldwide.

I suppose the main issue with being heterosexual and male is the lack of compatriots in the same situation, but I'm so private about it that I don't think it would make any difference. Another is that one's girlfriend or wife might be less prepared to deal with the development than a gay man's partner.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ann: Dont know about the hiding from the world part. But would agree that there is a differnece in how problems are processed and dealt with. Perhaps more toward: "I can handle this myself" then it is "runaway and hide".

Henri

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Work like you dont need the moneyDance like no one is watchingLove like youve never been hurt

There are quite a few of us around, but the shame and stigma associated with being HIV+ (a topic that is often discussed in this forum and elsewhere) keeps us well closeted. Unfortunately it is still assumed by most of America that any man with HIV is either very gay or an addict.

It may also be that men are generally not as communicative as woman are, and as we all know "real men don't cry." The "dating" thread over in the women's section (yes, girls, we're watching you!) is a hoot, but I don't think most of us are particularly eager to discuss the women we've dated, or to quote Erica Jong, "our stars, our scars, our choice of scotch in bars."

I suppose we could be more creative: "Topic: Prostrated by my prostate" or "Levitra levity".

...one's girlfriend or wife might be less prepared to deal with the development than a gay man's partner.

, I have to say that I'm lucky to have an incredibly supportive girlfriend, and we weren't even all THAT serious before we found out.

As for the question of disclosure, I do wish to avoid it, more for employment reasons than anything. My biggest fear is that treatment will lead to all-too-obvious alterations in my physiognomy, making it impossible to keep the secret.

Soooooooooo are any of you straight men in the vicinity of California?

Just sayin

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

there is one lone straight man in my men's support group. it's funny, cause there he is surrounded by 20 or so catty fags and manages to navigate the social waters quite nicely. to make things more interesting, he's kinda hot and all the guys totally hit on him, albeit in a loving and teasing sort of way. so, he's welcome and a great friend. oh, and i have seen some other poz guys at the mixed group as well. hmm, ill tell them about this site next time i go there. ill keep an eye out for straight poz men for my straight poz sisters out there.

Hi,I am straight and married w/ children. I have been married 8 years, and did not find out until a life insurance exam 2 years ago about my status. Luckily, my wife and children had not been infected.I have a very supportive wife, but other than her and a few close friends, it is not something that straight men get to talk about much. I have been reading on this site that last couple of years, and have now decided to start posting.

Thanks.

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It is worth reminding ourselves that what brings us the greatest joy and satisfaction in life are those actions we undertake out of concern for others.

Wow there u guys are..i was wondering!!!!..Thanks everyone for your responses...Here in nj where i live i dont meet anyone my within my age group who is poz, let alone any straight single men..I mean even at the doc i go to its all older people, and my town isnt that small that i wouldnt run into 2 or 3 people like me..i know with my kids dad..he was in denial a long long time..and i think he is just now starting to come around but im not sure. Like i have said before he just "feels" ok and thats enuff for him to ignore it..But im working on him..i joined a dating site but there is never anyone on there.. i have tried poz personals yet bcus my job computer blocks it..but im gonna get me one for xmas...

I was not present in the forums for some time ( domestic problems ,depression, , familly worries , medical issues and some researches on my own) , but just to say that I`m still around..........if you wanna know a litlle bit more about me read my posts ( if that does not bore you to the death ).......and feel free to answer to me by a PM if you want so.............Thanks to all members of this forum..............C`you soon............................................... Al

Uh yeah NO. Bi men are just men who really want to be booty bouncin' but don't want to call themselves gay. Just my opinion though.

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

I have found no luck on the poz dating sites. It seems like it's full of "god fearing" women who want "god fearing" men so they can treat them like the "queen" they see themselves as. Either that or they're scammers. Oh and the other option is that some of these ladies are really overweight. I'm not saying that overweight ladies can't be attractive, just that I like my women slim to athletic but definitely more on the petite size. Kind of like how many women don't like short men, I don't want to date a girl who weighs more than I do.

okay, so maybe a lot of bi men are fags in denial. what about the hot beefy men that aren't, like vin diesel. (grrrr). i've thought about crossing over many times. i decide to do all womankind a favour and keep my fickle, indecisive, noncleaning, noncooking & lazy ass on this side of the border. you all can thank me later : )

Next u are too funny!..and cute too yeah i subscribed to hivnet.com and its soooo lame..never more than 3 peopl on at a time and that includes me! My friend said she meets alot of guys but they all want sex still even after being diagnosed, Sex is still their main focus..dont get me wrong i definitely need a lil love err now n then but ultimately we are lookin for someone like ourselves that can understand where we are coming from but sometimes i think i want a negative person who just falls in love with me...and not worry about my condition..

Now hold up!!!!! As long as I have been whining about being single and flirting my ass off with the gay guys, all I needed was to start a damn thread.....Who woulda thunk it!!!!! But now I am dating a neg guy all you poz guys wanna come out......Grrrrrrr. I should kick y'all in the ass.....j/k but damn. And for the record, I have nothing against bi guys, I would do one. I just couldn't be in a relationship with one because I don't like sharing... But if it was about being friends with benefits well I could work around it. Alway wanted to do a bi guy with a strap on..

As for the women's dating thread, I hope that is helping you straight guys out and supplying you with a few pointers...

I have found no luck on the poz dating sites. It seems like it's full of "god fearing" women who want "god fearing" men so they can treat them like the "queen" they see themselves as. Either that or they're scammers. Oh and the other option is that some of these ladies are really overweight. I'm not saying that overweight ladies can't be attractive, just that I like my women slim to athletic but definitely more on the petite size. Kind of like how many women don't like short men, I don't want to date a girl who weighs more than I do.

LOL I likely weigh more than my boyfriend. But I am 3 - 4 inches taller than him. LOLI'm not as stick thin as I was in my 20's but I sure as heck aint thick. I'm a fairly tall average sized girl.I'm not a short man chaser. I just happened to really like a man who was shorter than me and unlike the girl I was 20 years ago the height thing doesnt faze me.

I have found no luck on the poz dating sites. It seems like it's full of "god fearing" women who want "god fearing" men so they can treat them like the "queen" they see themselves as.

Wow. That's totally different from the ''god fearing'' experience I had growing up. In most of those relationships, the women were treated as anything but queens.

And gasp! Is Vin Diesel supposed to be bi or something?

And I have to differ a bit about the bi thing. I call myself a big old mo, stictly dickly and all that mess...but the bare truth is that I have been in love with females a few times in my life. Truly, madly, deeply. And I'm not in denial bout nuthin' from nobody, so believe it or don'ts, people. I honestly wish I was more truly bisexual than I am (as I am admittedly leaning far, far further on the scale toward penis than va jay jay), and in my perfect vision of the world we'd all be bisexual and all this gender/orientation hoo ha would be moot from the get go.

But enough about all that. Somebody just tell about Vin Diesel and then you heterosexuals can continue doing whatever it is you do.

I was diagnosed a few months ago, and have not told my girlfriend my status. I have also not had sex with her because I do not want to infect her. Is getting pretty tense. I am concerned that if I tell her she will label me. If it goes further, though we could end up together and I was thinking, even if she accepted me, how to I have kids...I feel like I went from having a great life to a freak show now. What are the alternatives. Break off and do one night stands (safe) and not disclose but what kind of llife would this be.

Well, if that is the case, let's keep it going like the ladies dating thread....See what you started, wishful.....

Cityboy---- I wish I could give you advice about when to disclose to your gf but I am in a similiar situation as yourself. I will say this much...You know her better than any of us here...This is your life and you're living it but I feel you do need to tell her but only you will know when the time is right.

Philly----What?!? I missed that interview. When was this?

Wishful---- Oh, why I got to be nasty? I am just trying to be in touch with my inner freak... Well, if he doesn't want a strap on that's fine too..There is always other things...

Most straight poz people on this site are just in the wrong part of the world. Sadly in the Western World HIV is something that disproportionately affects the gay community. If we were all to relocate to South Africa or Russia we'd likely find more straight people for the possiblities of dating or at the very least a dependable booty call...

Most straight poz people on this site are just in the wrong part of the world. Sadly in the Western World HIV is something that disproportionately affects the gay community. If we were all to relocate to South Africa or Russia we'd likely find more straight people for the possiblities of dating or at the very least a dependable booty call...

That's undoubtedly right - not that I would want to move to either place.

It's also hard to find independent straight (or bi) poz women who have maintained a sense of humor about life, but who can blame them?

i'm starting to think the bi/vin diesel tangent is hijacking this thread. sorry ladies, you know how we fags are. we're your best friends and always need a lil attention. and we don't want you to forget about our marginalized brethren, they still like the va jay jay!

in defense of bi's - you can totally satisfy them. i was talking to a bi-guy tonight at my men's group. he's had a girl for sometime now. and my ex roommate's ex boy of 3 years has had a girl for the last 2 (and i think they're gonna get married). and don't forget about those msm's. all i'm saying is don't discriminate against a man that loves the poontang, even if he likes the schtick too ~

okay, my hijacking is over. anymore of this bi talk will have to be in another thread. and ya ladies betta come. hmm, oh, if it's any consolation, yeah, there are a lot of gay pozzies out there, but it's still hard to find a good man.

i like the comment above where girlfriend was talking about hitting up the negg's again. i think it has merit. hmm, world aids day is coming up. we are having multiple events. i will advertise this site to any single men i see. hey, gotta look out for my ladies, y'all always helped me out in high school (margaret cho said some funny shit about how the fag hags always helped us gay guys throughout high school by ushering us through the gay underground railroad- comedy).