Curiosity by Hugh Cron – Strong Adult Content.

I take it it will be you Pig Bastards who are reading this? It’s been a long time since I’ve had reason to type. Thank fuck for spell check or you would think I am a total retard, I’m not, I’m a fucking enigma!

Confession or explanation…You choose.

Man, those fuckers that shoot people. I can probably understand but shit, you can’t say that. But fuck, I wonder what I would do if I could get a gun? Would I shoot any cunt or every cunt or would I be specific? Fuck knows. I think being specific, well, you could miss your chance. Whereas if you just said fuck it I’m for you all, then that might work.

Life hasn’t been kind to me. I’m ugly in all sorts of ways and alone. Very fucking alone. Do I shoot? That’s bollocks, I can’t get a gun but I could stab. But I’d get caught quick. I’m no match for any fucker that is trained. In fact I’m not a match for most fuckers who aren’t trained. I really am insignificant. And you can all FUCK OFF I’ve said it first!

So I ask myself do I want to kill? Yes I do, fuck everyone. But why?

That’s the question isn’t it? What have those poor bastards done? Nothing…They’ve done nothing bar being there. That’s a bit unfair and I suppose that’s my point, it’s all fucking unfair so why should I give a flying fuck.

I think I will kill, at least I’ll have company where I’m going, but maybe not. Again, they will be the privileged and I’ll be the outcast. Just cause I took their fucking lives, there will be a difference.

But do I care? I’ve never considered an afterlife. Well that’s not true, I reckon we all shit ourselves about that. But what does it matter? Am I just delaying the inevitable?

Of course I fucking am we are all going to die so should I worry about what is beyond? If there is fuck all why should I not do as God does and kill. That’s a fucking contradiction, I know that! It makes me smile as that isn’t me, that’s all the fuckers I have read about…Killers who try to be logical, they are all cunts. They are scared and try to reason.

I’m not scared as I don’t think. I don’t care enough to think. I’m not going for a record, there is no way I could compete with that Norwegian Nazi or those mad as fuck Americans. What’s the word? ‘Notoriety’…It means fuck all to me. I want to do what I want to do and that is what I am having trouble with.

Fuck it, I want to kill. What was the phrase? I remember…For shits and giggles, I’m not sure what that means but it is probably as much thought as I will give this.

No guns, I know no cunt so they are hard to get. Knives are messy. I know, I’ve got away with that before. It was fun but I must have stabbed them in the bowel or something cause it fucking stank. The gurgling was horrible and the copper smell was bad enough but the smell of shit bombed it all out. I couldn’t eat my dinner for about a week. And yes, I sneaked up on the cunt, I couldn’t have done it otherwise.

I suppose I should tell whoever is reading this why I am about to do what I’ve not decided yet. I suppose this is like a super villain in a James Bond Film, with the explanation and all.

Was I fucked by my dad? Did my mother make me lick her? Is this what fucked me up? Well no!

I’ve dabbled in a few things. It started off with drugs and alcohol and to be truthful, none of them affected me. I did a bit of shop-lifting, fucking M&S with leather jackets close to the door. What in fucks name did they expect? I got into some fights, I fucking lost them all. Some cunt even broke my collar bone! I was proud of the small murder that I have already mentioned and then I became more and more curious.

So that’s where I ended up, where I am. I think I’m looking for a conscience so mass murder is my next agenda.

If I don’t survive that will also satisfy my curiosity as I will find out what we’ve all been wondering. Fuck, I think I even stole that idea from some death row prisoner. I can’t say it as well as he did but the gist is, I’m going to die soon so I’ll fucking know what you are all wondering.

Who I should say goodbye to? I think Jimmy the Postman who delivered our mail when I was a kid, he always smiled. I caught him going down on my mother.

No I didn’t! You thought you had a reason then!! Fuck him, he’s probably dead.

I’ve gave this some thought and decided driving into a crowd of people is the easiest way to do it. I know, it’s all been done before but I’m not going for individuality. I want to leave some last words that mean something. And I don’t mean to the relatives, my victims or my family. I don’t give a toss about them. Fuck them all. Fuck you all. Analyse me to the fucking cows come home. Some psychologist cunt will probably get a paper published when they do their insight.

12 thoughts on “Curiosity by Hugh Cron – Strong Adult Content.”

Captures the likely mindset of the alienated human shadows who cannot connect to humankind. Anger evolves, and that’s an emotion that mixes poorly with stupidity. The speaker hits you right in the mouth, like a tough guy. But bit by bit his big man attitude feels like a sham. Even his seemingly pathological honesty comes off like a dodge. Well done. Sadly, this type of person isn’t the rarity the powers that be would have us believe.

Thanks Leila,
You are right, there is some misguided bravado with him but this sometimes slips and the honesty in a perverted way is what probably fuels his actions.
And it is worrying how many have these type of thoughts.
Thanks so much for the perceptive critique!!
Hugh

Very dark. But so is what is going on in this world. And we all scratch our heads, wondering why. We just had another shooting by a young man over here in the States yesterday. It’s epidemic. There is a rage inside these folks, but as Irene said, maybe it’s a sham. Beneath it all is perhaps a deep loneliness or a need that society isn’t providing. Or maybe something as simple as having no purpose, no outlet for the energy, drifting farther and farther from their spiritual side and into a vast, gaping void. When these tragedies happen, not only do I feel sad for the victims, but for the perpetrator, too, as he has not only taken innocent lives, but has ruined his own for all time. Hugh, you did a good job building his rage. I could feel the dark excitement.

Hi Sharon,
Thanks so much for that!
I agree with what you say. Unless we are able to spot these issues within certain folks all we are left with is the mayhem, then it comes down to reasons not mattering. The victims and their families are then the priority.
Thanks again, I always get a kick out of a comment!!!
Hugh

Hi James,
I think the saddest thing is that this isn’t fiction anymore. This doesn’t shock the way it should. When we hear the words ‘Breaking News’ there is nothing that can happen that we don’t expect.
Only twice have I sat down and watched the news with my jaw hitting the floor. Dunblane and The Twin Towers. But they were both a long time ago and nothing has changed for the better. I’ll never be surprised again.
Thanks as always!
Hugh

Excellent job of getting inside the mind of a criminally insane lunatic. That’s hard to do because those people are ultimately not understandable. Love how the admission at the end reveals him for the true SOB he is.

I think the evil bastards in our society are seldom very imaginative. Shooting up schools wasn’t a thing until someone did it a few years ago. It seems so obvious after the first one. Running people over? Very effective, but only got big a few years ago.

I worry more about a big diffuse attack (in fact wrote “Attack”) with lots of terrorists involved in shooting, poisoning water, releasing gas, running people down. That sort of organized, distributed mayhem seems more effective at causing damage and killing than one big boom.

Hi Doug,
You are spot on and I think we all realise that when the fatality figures are released, there is always someone or a group thinking on how to take out more.
What the hell is wrong with live and let live???
Thanks for the comment – Much appreciated!!
Hugh