Pre-op frustrations

Hi y’all,

I’m not really sure how to start this blog. A lot of positive things have been going on, but I need to get some frustrations off my chest.

A little over a week ago I had my second top surgery consult. The surgeon was a lot nicer now he wasn’t in as much of a hurry. And I got my surgery date! Only two weeks from then. So as I’m writing this it’s only 6 more days. As much as I’m dreading recovery, I’m very excited.

But there’s frustrations too. Mostly about lack of communication. My second consult was mostly picking a date, signing a bunch of papers and being sent off again. Of course I was asked if I had questions, but I’m probably not the only one who never knows what to ask.

A big frustration I’m currently dealing with is a question form. The form is so overwhelming I’m actually struggling to write this. Some questions are unclear to me and I have no idea what to do with them. Then there’s lots of health questions, many of which I simply don’t know the answer too. My autistic ass doesn’t do well with question forms, I mind often simply blanks. Combine that with having to answer questions about my health while dealing with a bunch of undiagnosed symptoms and I’m simply on the verge of panic.

Other than that it’s very frustrating how little I know about how to prepare myself on the day of surgery (all they told me was not to eat and drink and to take out piercings) and about the aftercare. The things I would like to know would probably seem very minor or like it can wait until the moment of, but I really don’t do well with not knowing what to expect. Or at least not knowing how to prepare for something.

So yeah, I guess long story short I’m overwhelmed with not knowing.

I feel like there’s more I want to talk about, but I can’t pinpoint what, let alone phrase it, so I’m gonna leave it at this.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to change my gendermarker and name, so hopefully I can soon write about that.