It’s amazing how some hotels can get to charge £35 for stuff I used to get at school for free. Yep, the annual Christmas Do came and went.

It was all much of a muchness really. PC Knob didn’t take his wife and did spend the whole night flirting with one of the girls from the call centre. I don’t know whether he got his festive shag or not but I suppose there was a fair chance given that she didn’t appear to be in possession of any common sense, or her guide dog.

My entire pay award this year was swallowed up in the first round of drinks. £5 for a bottle of beer which looked like it came from my daughter’s dolls house set. It was so small I had to buy two bottles as I generally like to feel I can continue drinking after one gulp.

Matt was there, I like Matt, he’s a reasonably personable chap, doesn’t do anyone any harm and is so bad at dancing he makes me look good.

It was my first group do with this particular shift, having joined it only this year. I generally get on well with most of them. Most of my Xmas outings have been pretty much male dominated until now. You spend the entire evening drinking as much as possible & taking your trousers off. It was quite different this year. Sadly, I couldn’t afford to get pissed, well not until two of the lads popped down to the local Tesco and loaded a boot up with Budweiser. It was amazing how many people had to keep going into the car park for a smoke and coming back with a couple of Buds.

The serious drinking doesn’t really start until after the Do ends. It’s really tough luck if you happen to live in the same town as where the Do is held, ‘cos the chances are you’ll be picking beer cans from behind the sofa for the next three months.

PC Knob strangely didn’t appear at the afters, perhaps he was getting his festive shag. Still, it’ll give everyone something to talk about when we get back to work.