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Friday, May 13, 2016

How to Process Your Spurs Blues

Whether we want to believe it or not, the Spurs' exceptional 2015-2016 season has come to a close. Perhaps the most painful part of getting knocked out in the second round of a season that seemed destined to climax with the Silver and Black facing off against the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference Finals is the close calls (and awful calls) that decided games two and five. Now we are left pondering the ultimate quandaries: Does life still contain any meaning? Will Timmy and Manu retire? Does God hate us?

In order to better cope with the devastating state of affairs, we at the San Antonio Current have compiled a list of activities you can involve yourself in to work through the stages of grief. Enjoy, as best you can.

Denial & Isolation

Go on a solo hike – Friedrich Park offers an excellent view of the Dominion so you can wistfully wave at Pop.

Go watch a movie alone – As the summer blockbusters are on their way, there are numerous opportunities to while away the hours until next season in the dark, cold environs of the city's local cinemas, where no one can see you cry.

Anger

Take a Krav Maga class – Learn how to successfully disarm anyone that may make some snide comment about the Spurs' performance.

Yell from SA’s tallest building – The lexicon of disheartened swears, curses and expletives are endless. Get creative. "Russell Westbrook looks like Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I hate him!" comes to mind.

Go for a run at one of our local parks – Shadowbox imaginary Steven Adams until you collapse.

Bargaining

Weigh our free agent options – If this was Timmy and Manu’s last hurrah, we very well may see some new talent at the one, two, three and/or four positions. Some options including Pau Gasol, Mike Conley or even Kevin Durant. Not too shabby.

Strike wild, unfulfillable deals with the goddesses for a shot at the title next year – I promise to never call LeBron a "crybaby" again.

Exercise your "if onlys" – If only the refs had not done their damnedest to make sure that we lost two games with deplorable calls later acknowledged as "wrong" by the NBA. If only we had committed to playing Spurs ball (the very style that gave us the best record in franchise history) instead of relying so heavily on LaMarcus and Kawhi. If only the bench had shown up for the second round. If only ...

Depression

Eat a ton of ice cream at a local shop – Because rocky road doesn't judge.

Drown your sorrows at Juniper Tar or with Branchline Brewing’s Silver & Black IPA – Spurs sightings are common at the downtown cocktail bar and with Branchline's IPA rocking a 6.3 percent ABV, a couple and you should be feeling just fine.

Acceptance

Flip a coin on whether to root for the Thunder or Warriors – Do you want the team that knocked us out to go all the way? Thus vicariously proving that we lost to this year's best? Or do you want the number one seed to make quick work of Westbrook, KD and co.?

Be content that the Spurs are still better than the Rockets and Mavericks – Texas' best!

Expand your mind with some new-age, zen lit from the library or a local bookstore – It's a fool's errand to tie our identity up in the athletic prowess of strangers, anyhow. An impeccable warrior is an empty vessel and all that shit.

If none of these work, fear not! We are still one of the most enjoyable teams to watch with a standard of performance and class unmatched by any other roster in the league. And, forgive the cliché, but there's always next year.