Wednesday, December 7, 2011

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: HATEPUMP IS BACK

This lady, Janice Daniels - the mayor of Troy, MI, the one below that looks manlier than Hilary Clinton, she doesn't like the idea of gays getting married.

And then she posted on facebook about it lol. Last June lol. And it's just making news now.

Massive lols @ the first status update, btw. Rest assured that if she was mocking a Republican, there would be no question that it was the wittiest, funniest thing ever.

But the bottom status update is the one in question.

Who even says "queers" anymore? "Faggot" is my go-to slur these days. And maybe one of these days I'll lay out a case why it should be your go-to slur too.

But yo, I just gotta mention this: if you think that gay marriage is somehow impeding you from having an awesome life, that's insane. If the idea of two dudes getting married really bothers you, it's time to lighten up, brah.

That said, what's worse than the people who are so vehemently against gay marriage? THE HORRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT ANNOYING FUCKHEADS THAT CHAMPION IT SO FURIOUSLY.

Yes, I get it, gays should be allowed to marry. They should have every right that a straight couple has. But I can't think of a time when my mind was changed by a schmuck at a protest with a big sign or an ALL CAPS facebook post.

Don't believe me that they're the worst of the worst? Check out the best of the progressive elite immediately below!

Nobody gives a shit about you, Gramma! Not even your grand kids!

What I think she means to say is that it's NOT OK to disagree with Gramma!

Jesus, with a mug like that, she's probably been turnin' dudes gay for years now. Not even knocking 50 years off that face could salvage it.

Two strikes against this nutjob: she's old and she's crazy!

But you know what, be PUMPED because hate and ignorance are still alive and kicking in the world! LET THE HATE PUMP YOU THROUGH THIS SLUSHY, SNOW-FILLED WEEK AND RIGHT INTO THE HOLIDAYS.

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tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.