Message Board Madness

Steve Ryan

10/28/2005

Ahhh those wonderful message boards. They are the extension of the most fanatical fan and the conduit for the various presuppositions that qualify as thoughts, ponderings or even rants, poured out in the form of text amidst an internet community, whereby people of like mind and those of varying opinions can gather and share equally. Then again, sometimes it's just a forum for complaining. There's a lot of that going on nowadays.

Fans are funny

I mean in that in the most respectful way, but the built in hypocrisy that comes with being a sports fan manifests itself in a variety of ways:

If one of your team's players shoplifts; he's a kid, he makes mistakes and we are loathsome human beings if we don't give these kids a second chance, because if we don't, who in the heck well.

If it's someone else's player, though, they are criminals, it's a wonder the program that recruited him isn't on probation for the rest of their life and if he ever plays a down of football ever again, the pope himself should come out and condemn (enter name of school here) for all eternity, for this blasphemous injustice to the very tethers that bind "decent" humanity together.

If a player from your team has a 3.5 GPA, he's an example of an educational institution that has only the highest standards when it comes to academics, but also, in creating superb individuals that will bring this heathen-infested society to the forefront of the utopia that all dream of, but only because of their school, we can now see fully realized.

If it's a player of another team, this is obviously a fixed grade, basket weaving shouldn't be a class, it's the NCAA itself that is letting this stuff happen and you are sure that the obvious grade-fixing is simply the tip of the iceberg of an institution that is not only harboring illiterates with athleticism, but is probably the reason there is famine, poverty, cancer and even death, in the United States of America.

That's how it goes, but what is probably the most humorous isn't when the vast message boards are alive and well with venting about how everyone else is the lowest form of life. Instead, it's about when their own school, coaches, players or whatever, are the cause of their own personal hell. It's when there is a multi-leveled-fervent explosion from within.

Yes, it's Mutiny on the Message board, brought to you by all those teams, whose failings have left disgruntled and jaded fans in their wake.

And they have something to say

Oklahoma last year sat on top of the college football world, one of the elite, preparing to face another one of the elite in the national title game.

It was good to be a Sooner and in the recruiting world, it was considered so good to be a Sooner, every single prep offered by Oklahoma was referred to by the message board-going patrons as a future Sooner.

The wish-list of prospects was long, pervasive with five star after five star and fans would type energetically and frequently following their name: "He'll be a Sooner".

I hear God himself was close to getting an offer, the fans already assuming that he might play the slot once he commits, but could be worked in as a solid tight end as it was believed that the All-Mighty could both block and stretch the field.

Following the national title contest with USC, though, the tone has changed to a degree.

Ok, not a degree. Let's call it "Cybil on a bad day" syndrome.

The gush-fest over their illustrious coaches: Gone
The confidence that every recruit that's any good will have to be a Sooner: History
The feeling that all Oklahoma has to do is show up to win: Seeya

Now you see posts like this:

Please. No more TV games this year.
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We should be ashamed of this product.

OR

Re: Norman High has a better OL than OU..
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Michigan fans probably can't scoff at the sudden turn of events and opinions over at Oklahoma, because they are going through a little Jekyl and Hyde stretch of their own.

Last year Michigan was rolling, sporting a fab freshman at quarterback, another fab freshman at running back and one of if not the best receiver in the land.

They lost only two games in the regular season, narrowly lost a game in the post-season and with their fabulous freshman coming back as super sophomores, there was a lot of reason to believe.

And it wasn't uncommon to see them posting such, the fan base enthralled at the potential of a team that historically was amongst the best ever, so this could be yet another year to be great, but potentially a year for the pinnacle achievement of a season.

A loss to Notre Dame squelched the early optimism. A loss to Wisconsin put a serious damper on hope and a homecoming loss to the Golden Gophers, at least for the fans, pretty much signified the end.

Anticipation turned into angst:

Lloyd and his staff must go immediately
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How much longer are we going to put up w/ this crap!?! I've had it w/ this staff and I know many of you have too. So help out by getting this site out there and being innovative around campus if you're still on there.

OR

We have a joke of a football program right now
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Sad but true

2 streaks down, 1 to go

OR

season over
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they arent even worth watching anymore.

Conversely, there are teams that saw messages like the ones you see above in great numbers last year, when the aforementioned teams were at times, living it up. Teams that were considered either on the brink of destruction or already in shambles, but the hopes behind a quick rebirth were dwindling.

Last year Notre Dame was not amongst the elite, a state of being that the Notre Dame fans were infuriatingly accustomed. A humiliating season opening loss to BYU wasn't bad enough, they had to lose to Pitt, Purdue and to their hated rival, USC. To top it all off, they were pasted by 17 by Oregon State in the bowl game.

Some of those threads above you could have just substituted some Notre Dame names and you'd have what they were thinking back then.

Nowadays, it's a little different:

Brady Quinn = Best player in America
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Its time to talk Heisman for Quinn , everyone knows at ND we get noticed more than anyone else and if Quinn continues with this record setting pace he is putting on he could win it this year . The USC game is obviously the key , if he has another great game which he will of course have then I expect him to be #1 and #2 with Vince Young of Texas . Bush doesnt get the ball enough to win the Heisman , just like when Rocket was screwed it was because he went up against a record setting QB in Detmer . Quinn has an excellent shot and its very exciting to say the least .....

OR

Notre Dame the best team in the country ??? I am not that impressed with anyone except for us this year , this is kind of a down year overall for teams I think . Luckily ND gets to prove this to everyone next weekend , Quinn for Heisman .....................

OR

I'd bet in two years ND are the champs
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With weis coming in from the Pats and beating Michigan the recruiting phase of this just got a little easier. I would also say if they beat USC next week they could come close this year, but I think that there defense is still a little to soft.

JUST TWO MORE YEARS AND WE IRISH WILL BE BACK ON TOP!

At Nebraska, last year, fans had to endure the first losing season since 1961. They didn't go to a bowl for the first time in almost 30 years and not only did teams not fear the Huskers anymore, even lowly division 1-AA teams thought they could actually go into Memorial Stadium and win.

The posts were many about the reasons this program was in the dumps and fans collected in large groups, posting that a coaching staff that hadn't even been together a year, didn't need to get another one. The defensive coordinator took more heat than anyone, everyone asking for him to resign, get fired or move.

Again, the notes being sung are decidedly different this time around:

I will admit it, I was wrong about the coaches
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During last season, I feared that the new coaches could not relate to the team, the team wouldn't play for them and that the coaches could recruit but couldn't necessarily teach the kids. Based on what I have seen this year in terms of improvement game to game and interviews I have heard from the players, the kids are motivated, having fun and learning.

OR

Re: I Would Just Like To Say...
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It feels good to have some concrete proof for the hope I've expressed for this team to my workmates and friends here in Ga. Maybe this will open some eyes here in Ga as far as recruits go! Go Big Red!

OR

I have to say it
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It's great to be a Husker!!!!

"Joe Pa", the man on the outs, one foot in the grave, way past his prime; You know the deal.

Last year he spent more time answering questions about stepping down than he did about how he was going to get his lackluster team back up. Even the posters on the various message boards weren't quiet about their displeasure with the coaching legend, asking for him to leave or for someone to have the marbles to go to him and tell him he was going, whether he liked it or not.

Nowadays, you see posts like this:

Re: Paterno PC Comment on Last Play
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You reap what you sew. When you treat the media like day old dog crap, guess why they think he's too old.

One good year doesn't wipe away the last frustrating few. We're only going to truly improve for good once we get quality people in here we know will be around.

Ok, bad example

And you thought Nebraska fans were bad

That's the message board mayhem, however, as constantly fluctuating in its devotion and emotion as a manic depressive on ephedrine.

The only things that change with each board are the color and the name on the logo at the top.

The only constant through it all is that almost nobody likes to be happy. Actually, there should be a board on every single sports site on the internet called "Yeah, but". This will be easily the most frequented board on each respective site, because whether you win or you lose, there's lots of "Yeah, buts" to go around.

Yeah, but our running game stinks
Yeah, but our passing game stinks
Yeah, but just because we scored 65 points, it doesn't mean we have what it takes to score

For a fan of an up-coming opponent, these work equally well when visiting a board to talk a little trash:

Yeah, but your running game stinks
Yeah, but your passing game stinks
Yeah, but just because you scored 65 points, it doesn't mean you have what it takes to score…………………..on US.

The best, though, the hands-down-bar-none-unequaled posts of them all that say in the subjecting heading exactly what they aren't:

You know what I mean? Sure you do.

You ever read this:

"Not a flame, but"

It's a flame

Or this:

"Be honest"

This was written by someone that's been lying to themselves since the day they knew what lying was. Only on message boards, those who can't be truthful with themselves aren't called liars, They're called "Buff Fans".

Here's the ultimate example of these, the one that every single poster on every single board that has anything to do with sports at all hates to see, specifically after a loss at home:

"Man, you fans are great!"

"I remember being in the stands right after we scored our second touchdown to go up 14-0 and I had this great conversation with this old lady. She was not saying much, but what a great lady.

And, wow, that band of yours sure is good, that half time was awesome, but we didn't hear much out of them after the third quarter when we were up 42-0 and your guys basically laid down.

Loved those hot dogs, too. It was great having all that time to go eat and drink and chit chat with the score so out of hand.

Wow, you fans are the best."

You know the old saying about faces changing, but people always staying the same? With message boards you get far more consistency than that. It doesn't matter the sport, the team, the location or even the record; fans are the same, the boards will never change and if there is duplicity to be had, it's in the cyber world of sports fanatics everywhere.

And just like weather in Nebraska, if you don't like the attitudes, wait about ten minutes and it will dramatically change.