Big news this week as Victor Sullivan will be taking over full time as Newsletter Executive. For all those people who love to read my summaries of the newsletter, sorry, but this is the last time you'll see me writing at the very top.

Anyways, highlights of this issue include a new CC story in the Freestyle Section, some tips on how to run tournaments in the in the Tournament section, possible new map ideas in the Foundry Section, and the fickle mistress that is luck in the Clan section. Something for everyone, and I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Go stuff your face and watch some football or hockey.

Hello again everyone, we have another interrogation for you. From the Sexiest Clan on CC, squishyg has kindly agreed to answer your questions. Of course, we have another Scum Insider, and shieldgenerator7 begins a new story about a possible future with CC in it. He's looking for some more people who want to be in his story, so please PM him if you would like to be a character.

“3… 2… 1…” The atomic nuke blasted off into its deadly orbit around Earth. Its destination: Greater Asia. It is the first of many North American retaliation strikes against the Asian government, who fired first. No one can say why are what caused the first bomb to land in New York City, some say it was the assassination of the Chinese leader, and some say it was because of civil unrest in overpopulated Eastern countries. But whatever the reason, war had settled in and would change the world forever. Countries everywhere were thrown into a panic. Everyone raided the stores and headed for their basements, fearing a world-wide nuke fight. Although many cities would be hit, numerous civilizations would be utterly destroyed, many towns and locales would remain unscathed. Namely, a town in Area 51: code name: shieldgenerator. “Are you positive this will work?” Commander Phatscotty asked sternly. “Yes, quite certainly,” reassured the professional Dr. Woodruff. “This great architectural and scientifical feat will protect all of its inhabitants from a dastardly nuclear fallout.” “Good,” grunted Commander Phatscotty. “No citizen is dying tonight under my watch.” A helicopter hovered overhead the city in which the project was to be tested. From the cockpit’s view, one could see the giant metal ring circumscribing the city limits, and the ginormous electro-static building in the centroid of the metropolis. “All clear for test 1,” crackled the warning over the radio. “Roger that,” responded the copter pilot, Tdans. A bright blue flash of energy erupted from the electro-static building and conjoined with the metal rings to produce an electro-magnetic field around the city. A loud crackling noise boomed from the field as the oxygen molecules reacted with the interfering fields. The blue field twitched a little, and gave signs of giving way. But to everyone’s amazement and sheer delight, it restabilized, and there was much rejoicing. “Now,” came the static command over the radio. “Aye-aye,” Tdans then put down the radio and fired his missiles at the force field. Like a rocket ship, the missiles soared through the air, audibly cutting the air as they reached for the city. Then, like a fireworks show, they collided with the force field and exploded, sending millions of tiny bits of uranium flying in every direction, but never penetrating the blue magnetic field. “Impressive,” commented Phatscotty. “Do you have a name for it?” “Yes, it’s called a shieldgenerator,” replied Dr. Woodruff. “No, the city. Do you have a name for the city?” “We do not.” “I task you the responsibility of naming it.” “Well, then,” responded Dr. Woodruff. “We have conquered this next step in the advancement of the human race, therefore let it be called CONQUER CITY!” “Very well, then,” said Commander Phatscotty gruffly. “It shall be called Conquer City. Start the immigration process.” “It has already begun.” The unpopulated test city was to be the first shielded city. The next step was to populate it while the remaining cities were being shielded. Everyone knew it would be the first, but no one expected it to also be the last…

Want to get into the Mafia scene, but don't know how to play or even what it is? Consult these threads: Mafia Information, Mafia and You, and Rules and Terms of Mafia.Too much work? Too lazy to read through everything? No worries, you can always jump right into a game and ask for other players or the game runner to help guide you.

What is "Mafia"?Mafia, for those of you that don't know, is a game that generally takes place in a town, where the townspeople have to determine who the mafia (or "scum") is and lynch them via a majority vote during the day and the mafia try to kill everyone at night and bluff their way out of getting killed by the town.

The loss of town players is inevitable in any game. Whether through mislynches or nightkills, eventually someone innocent is going to die. However, just because town lost some people, it doesn't mean that those people cannot be useful in death. They can be used to possibly uncover fakeclaims, establish a theme, and give hints about balance and other possible roles in the game.

Example

Jason was lynched on Day 1 and turned out to be a Vanilla Townie. Amy was killed during Night 1. By analyzing their posts prior to their deaths and their revealed roles, information can be gained.

How to Use this Strategy

When analyzing a dead person's previous posts, it's important not to put too much faith in who they were suspicious of. Mafia could easily have chosen to kill the main opponent of the dead player in an attempt to frame the still living player. It sets up a WIFOM situation and is unhelpful. However, it is acceptable to pursue old cases the dead player had brought. If the player had been revealing night actions, it probably is safe to assume he was being truthful about them and draw appropriate conclusions. For instance, if the player had claimed to investigate someone and gotten an innocent result, the other person is most likely townie (or the Mafia Godfather).

More importantly, it's possible to gather information about the possible mafia and town roles still alive. Especially mid to late game, it's important for the town players to have an idea how many investigative/protective roles are left. It also helps establish whether a game is non-vanilla or not. Finally, if the game is themed, the relative importance of the dead person's character and their ability can be used to assess the validity of future roleclaims in an effort to find mafia fakeclaims.

Q. Just how squishy are you? A Play-doh level of squishy, or just a volleyball level of squishy? Q. How squishy can a G really be? Q. What part of you is squishy? Q. How sexy are you? are you green-eyed? are you redhead? Short answer (pic) is acceptable? Q. Did you look better after giving birth to child 1, or child 2?

Erika Falk writes in the second edition of her book, Women for President: Media Bias in Nine Campaigns (which was based on her Penn doctoral dissertation, also a good read), “it appears that while society may be trending toward judging women less on their appearance, it is still fundamentally convinced that differences between men and women exist and are important (90). Her research shows startling differences in the amount of times female candidates’ looks are mentioned versus their male competitors.

Q. Is it true that all new BPB members have to upload naked photos of their 2 year old daughter? I've not seen anyone else do this in the forum and was wondering if paedophilia was commonplace in other clans.

Really? That’s the second question of this interview? This is why I don’t think the newsletter interviews should just be a random string of questions submitted by users. Can you imagine opening The Wall Street Journal or Entertainment Weekly and reading a procession of non-sequitur queries from people who have little interest in the answer, but simply want to participate in some pathetic way? This reminds me of the time I was invited to speak on a panel at a respected state university. My fellow panelists and I presented well-thought out statements and then participated in a lively and enjoyable Q&A. The student organization we were addressing hosted a dinner that evening and we were invited to sit with the young scholars so they could glean from our knowledge over lemon chicken. I was excited to share insights with them about my work, stories from my travels, advice about educational paths-maybe one of them would follow in my stead! I sat down at my table and the first question, enthusiastically asked, was, “Is it hard to walk in heels when you’re pregnant?” I weep for America’s youth. Of course, Pedro is older than me, and British, but you get what I mean.

Q. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

No, I just have more life experience.

Q. If you had to choose one. Are you more of tomboy or a girly girl?

You wouldn’t be asking me this question if I were a man. I don’t recall ever reading a CC interview of a male player where they were asked “Are you more of a bear or a twink?”. But since I have to choose one, I will pick girly girl, taking into consideration that I am currently wearing glitter nail polish. Fun Fact for Ball Busterz! - this was a home mani, not the previously analyzed Shellac application.

Q. Is your name short for squishy (beep)?

Beep doesn’t start with the letter g, but okay, I’ll play along. Fun Fact! squishy is an actual nickname that some old friends call me IRL. Like many of you, they have also shortened it to squish. I wanted to be plain old squishy on CC, but someone was already using the username.

Q. Would you flush a goldfish down the toilet if it meant you could be the mayor of New York City for a day?

I would say I would flush the goldfish and then get elected on that promise. Then like all politicians, I would fail to flush the goldfish, citing bureaucratic obstacles. I would then use my authority to circumvent term limits and ruin my popularity with the pro-goldfish crowd.

Q. How much money would you have to make to appear in a porno?

There is no amount of money that anyone could pay me to be in a porno. But I would play a non-sex-having character in a porno. That would be a delightful anecdote to share at dinner parties. Per union rules, I would accept no less than a standard day rate.

No one can argue the lasting impact of Cheers, but I personally prefer The Big Bang Theory. Any episode where Sheldon and Penny interact is hilarious. Although I do use the Cheers “three men who have never been in my kitchen” line regularly. But then again, “paper disproves Spock” is also a great bit. So in conclusion, I love tv.

Q. Would you rather have died on the Challenger or The Titanic?

The Challenger! At least it was quick, and being wet and cold sucks.

Q. What's the better musical genre, disco or reggae?

Yes, let’s compare the Bee Gees to Bob Marley. On the one hand you have ear worm dance pop and on the other hand you have a poetic genius who led a revolution. I think I’m going to have to go with reggae.

Q. How often do you go to Starbucks?

I haven’t gone in ages! How I miss you Caramel Macchiato… And Pumpkin Spice Latte is back for the season! Mmm…. I actually live in a town with no Starbucks. But at my last office there was a Starbucks on the first floor, so my answer then would have been “as many times as I walk by it”.

Q. Who's the alpha. You or your husband?

We are equal partners. Being partners doesn’t mean we split everything equally and sometimes one of us takes the lead in certain areas, but both of us are in charge of our household.

Q. Is it better to watch Nightmare Before Christmas in October or December?

I say watch it for both holidays. If any movie can stand repeat viewings within two month’s time, that one can. But since there are less quality kid-friendly Halloween movies, I’ll say Halloween. Also watch The Worst Witch.

Q. What is your favorite sport?

To watch live: baseball, in which to compete: fencing, to watch as an event with friends: wrestling (the silly kind, not the Olympic kind).

Q. Do you use coupons at fast food joints?

I would use a coupon at a dollar store. Saving money is sexy. I don’t generally eat fast food regularly enough that I have coupons handy, but I did once use a coupon to get a free gross strawberry lime frozen drink at Taco Bell.

Q. Old Hollywood or New Hollywood?

The glamour, innuendo, and subtlety of old Hollywood movies is intoxicating. I would much rather watch Bette Davis accept a cigarette from Paul Henreid than watch Chloe Sevigny blow Vincent Gallo. But in New Hollywood we have women and people of color writing, directing, and producing movies, which transforms the industry from one that narrowly portrays one culture’s stories to a much more vibrant community where more people are heard (although we have miles to go on this front). Ultimately though, a good film is a good film. I love movies way too much to pick John Ford over Quentin Tarantino or Annette Bening over Marlene Dietrich.

Q. When was the last time you wore a thong?

The last time I chose to.

Q. Was the mob right to kill Gaddafi?

I’m not really a fan of mob violence. Is it ever morally right for a pack of people to seek out and kill a man? There’s right and wrong, but then there’s the dirty business of doing what you think is best.

Q. Are you a Democrat?

No. I used to be, but to paraphrase Craig Lucas’ Prelude to a Kiss, Democrats are such Republicans. I am an independent voter and strongly believe the candidates should have ballot access to run as independents. Check out IndependentVoting.org if this subject interests you.

Q. What is the most likely reason you'd ever do hard time?Getting caught shoplifting in California (the third time, obviously).

Q. Are you the queen of CC or does that title belong to dazerazer?

Daze is the the trophy wife of CC, clapper is the queen, Robinette is the duchess, happy is the empress, and I’m the vice-president of balloon doggies.

Q. What is the best novel of all-time? If you were trapped on a desert island, what book would you most like to have?

I’ve read the classics, the modern classics, the great dramas and comedies and the one book I would take with me to a desert island is The Princess Bride by William Goldman.

Q. Would you rather be a hot genie or an ugly prime minister? Explain your answer.

I could do way more good as a genie. I could never work for a bureaucracy.

Q. Who is the biggest pervert on CC?

I bet it’s the one you’d least suspect…I’ll say Andy.

Q. What movie is better, Back To The Future or Sweet Home Alabama?

Back to the Future! Although I do enjoy Reese Witherspoon movies. Back to the Future is a perfect movie. Its fun, well-written, and joyously performed.

Q. Do you support capital punishment?

No. But I do think Osama Bin Laden was dealt with as best as anyone could deal with that situation.

Q. Do you watch Oprah?

No, she ended her show silly.

Q. Would you rather live in Afghanistan or Siberia?

Siberia, I enjoy cute boots and long coats and being allowed to drive a car.

Q. Is spanking acceptable? Under what circumstances?

Its only acceptable between two consenting adults who have a pre-determined safe word.

Q. Who's hotter, Jessica Biel or Mila Kunis?

Oh Vipey, this is the high heels question all over again. Well, Mila’s career is certainly on a roll, so in terms of star power, I guess she’s hotter. But you probably want to know who I deem more attractive, because it feeds some sort of lesbian fantasy. So pick whoever you want. I’ll be reading Madam Secretary by Madeleine Albright.

Q. If Charlie Sheen wrote you a check for $30,000 would you do him?

No.

Q. What is the best and worst metropolises in the United States? Why?

I love cities. New York is my first love, but I haven’t met at city I truly disliked. Philly has a lot of one way streets and obnoxious sports fans, so I’ll rank Philadelphia at the bottom. But even Philly I like.

Q. What's the sluttiest thing one of your friends ever did?

She got all tarted up and did whatever sick thing you’re imaging. Wait, no! She had sex with Charlie Sheen for $30,000. There.

Q. What's better, vegetarian or meat lover pizzas?

It’s a close call, but pepperoni or sausage pizza beats olive and mushroom.

Q. How often do you go to the movies?

About once a month now that we’ve got 2 little ones. But I watch tons of stuff at home.

Q. How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck, could chuck wood?

42

Q. What's the best thing about being in charge of social media along with The Voice?

Capturing a moment. Good timing can make a Twitter post a funny thing. I also enjoy getting to talk with CC users on Facebook away from the forum.

Q. Who's your favourite female singer? Male singer? Band?

Lena Horne, Meatloaf, the E Street Band.

Q. What's your favourite map on Conquerclub?

Besides Classic, World 2.1

Q. Why did you join CC?After a raucous party where a Risk board got taken out at 10 pm and didn’t get put away until after 2 am, I got hooked on the game and went looking for a place to play online. I was hoping to find a real time site where I could play against a computer, but I found CC and it was better.

Q. Who're your favourite teammates for a Quads game?

I had a nice run with Master Fenrir, HairyP, and lokisgal on WWII Poland. Fruitcake and Mr Changsha are incredible players, so they’d make my list for sure. And to round it out I would have to have my doubles partner, ViperOverLord.

Q. What do you do for a living?

I’m a theatre artist and community organizer.

Q. Is it possible to write a manual on understanding women, and if so, what would it say?

Pay us equal wages and don’t be jerks.

Q. I've always wondered how many boards could the Mongol's Horde if the Mongol's Horde's got bored?

If you secure the Jin bonus, you could really horde as many as you’d like, as long as you have premium membership.

Q. How often do you go on dates?

Never, I’m married. I don’t subscribe to calling a night out with my husband a “date”. I think we’re a little past that now.

Q. I excel in both content and deliverance so let's put on our classics and have a little dance shall we?

I wholeheartedly agree with your viewpoint, but this ain't your typical garage joint.I make points which hold significance.

Q. Army of GOD or eating a box of nails (no milk allowed)?

As a doubles partner? I’ll take my chances with the box of nails, thank you.

Q. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you go?

Paris. I would become fluent in French, take pastry classes, and drink lots of wine.

Q. If you could meet anyone alive today, who would it be? What would you talk about?

I would elect to speak to Barack Obama and I would discuss the need for a developmental and performatory approach to education.

Q. If you could meet anyone from throughout history, who would it be?

Tennessee Williams. I have so many questions and I would love to discuss the many layers in his plays. I would also want to meet Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus Christ so I could get their perspective on the world today and clear up all those arguments where people invoke their names.

Q. Would you rather be able to fly, or be invisible?

I would want to fly. I enjoy physical activities and getting places quickly.

Q. We want to know who your favorite cartoon character was as a kid, oh, and why did you enjoy them?

I was obsessed with Rainbow Brite when I was a wee squishy. I had the dolls, the album (“Starlite, Rainbow Brite, a little wish in the moonlight. Sunbeam, sparkle and shine, you’ll always be a friend of mine!”) I should note I typed that from memory, no Google needed. The show had everything, best friends, a talking, flying horse, and accessories with magic powers. Yes, color crystals could be compared to blood diamonds, but the Sprites did appear to be well taken care of.

Q. If in an instant you could become an invisible man, where would you go and what would you do?

I would go to all the same places and do all of the same things I would do if I were a woman. I would go to the Louvre, Eremo delle Carceri, the Accademia, the Empire State Building, Wawel Castle, the Kasubi Tombs, the Sistine Chapel, and the Met and the Cloisters and stay as long as I’d like, wondering, remarking, and imagining. Alternate answer: The same thing I would do if I were a woman but I‘d get paid more and I’d be allowed to show emotion without being called emotional.

Q. Since you are the sexiest of all CC mods, please tell me what actor should play you if they made a movie of your life?

Either Sarah Michelle Gellar or Samuel L. Jackson.

Q. If that movie about your life was a comedy, which part of the story would be the funniest? and why?

In retrospect, the time that I was held up at midnight while soaking in a mineral bath in Bulgaria was pretty hilarious.

Q. Which do you like best, Cats or Dogs? and don't give the "i love them all" answer... i wanna know which you REALLY like best... also, substitute animals ARE acceptable.

Q. If you got stranded on a island and you could only have access to pineapples or coconuts, what would you choose?

Pineapples

Q. If you had to either eat a crow or starve for 60 hours, what would you choose?

As long as the crow is cooked, I would give it a try.

Q. Would you rather be a Muppet or a Rescue Ranger?

A Muppet! I love them, even though chipmunks are adorable

Q. If you had to choose between dog sledding across Alaska and Northern Canada in the dead of winter or sailing a small sail boat around the planet, what would you choose?

The sailboat, I’m sure Fruitcake could hook me up with something sexy.

Q. Under what circumstances should we invade Iran?

Let’s not and say we did.

Q. What's the best television show or movie to fall asleep to?

Sesame Street, it means the toddler is distracted and I can take a nap. She always wakes me for “Elmo’s World” anyway.

Q. Chilli cheese frieds or ceasar salad?

Caesar salad, I don’t particularly enjoy chili.

Q. How many states have you visited?

15, which is about how many countries I've visited too. The states are RI, MA, CT, NJ, NY, ME, NH, DE, MD, VI, GA, CA, PA, FL, VT. I’ve also visited the District of Columbia, which really should have representation.

Q. If you have another kid, (assuming it's a guy) why are you going to name him after Army of GOD? And if it's a girl, why are you gonna name her after Army of GOD?

I guess we'd name our kid Army of GOD if we wanted her/him taken away like those people who named their kids Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation. Seriously AoG, have you ever Googled yourself? What were you thinking?

Q. I asked BisonKing this same question and his answer was, to say the least, disappointing. So now I'm asking you.

If you could choose one member of The Club to fill each of the following positions, which would you choose and why?

(1) Personal Stylist- Saxi, I need no help in the sexy dept., but I can think of no one better as a life coach.(2) Masseuse- Army of Nobunaga, also my pick for pool boy.(3) Housekeeper- Army of God, those little fingers could probably get into the hard to reach nooks and crannies.(4) Bodyguard- owenshooter, he's already got my back.

Q. The world has just ended and, in the post-apocalyptic order, a new race of Amazon women have come to rule the surface of the planet. You are the Queen of the Amazonas and can choose any five members of The Club as your sex slaves, with whom you will repopulate the Earth (except ol' Sax as I will be leading the Molmoks, a mutant race of mole people living in caverns that serpentine beneath the La Brea tar pits). Who do you choose?

BoganGod and Army of Nobunaga. And I’d elect to bring on some ladies so that we can repopulate the earth without resorting to incest. On second thought, someone else can have my spot and I’ll go work on infrastructure.

Q. Have you ever had your Third Amendment rights violated?

Not per se, but my bachelorette party coincided with Fleet Week... and I’m muy patriotic.

Q. A horde of zombies has taken over New York City. Which one of the following locations do you choose to fortify yourself in and why do you choose it?

Option 1 -

Option 2 -

Option 3 -

Option 4 -

Option 5 - [/b]

Option 4 has a nice safe look to it, although I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t recognize the building. All the other options are far too open. A nice tall building sounds good. As long as T-Dog doesn’t drop the key.

Q. Do you wish you were a little less squishy and a little more firm?

Would you ask a tiger to shed its stripes? An eagle to remove its wings?

Q. It's only been a couple days, and already you've received more questions than most interrogatees receive in two weeks. Does that make you feel honoured, or just overworked?

More flattered than anything, and appreciative that Robinette bumped the post count to get things rolling.

Q. Did you believe IR's story?

Aren’t we a little past the point of believing or not believing? It’s conclusive that she was lying.

Q. Are you actually Wicked's multi?

Yes.

Q. Do you think this is actually Owen asking questions?

I assume Owen is behind everything at all times.

Q. If you could have a CC celebrity take your turns for a month would you pick josko.ri or chariot of fire? Please explain your choice, going into details ie the vegetarian vs bovine debate, the possibility of loss of street creed if your sitter has a boring avatar, etc. Thanks in advance young lady.

I would pick Chariot of Fire. As the Bullet Proof Bandits’ most loyal member, he would surely never miss a turn.

Q. How do you feel about the state of moderation on Team CC currently?

I think there are individuals and departments who do a good job. As a member of the discussion team, I think clarifying who does what could speed up our response time to reports. I think the discussions team is doing a great job of quality control so that we don’t respond too quickly though. We talk it out before acting, which I think is wonderful. It’s challenging when we don’t have the opportunity to have that kind of discussion before a ban is handed out. When that happens it leads to a polarizing and controversial situation. As a member of the entertainment team, I think Sam does an incredible job of organizing really fun events for the CC community and I’d like to give kudos to him and our entire team. I also look forward to more opportunities where the volunteers can bond so we can continue to get stronger working as a team.

Q. Do you feel there is more that could be done by Team CC to create a wholesome, fun, fair and entertaining atmosphere for all forum goers?

I believe that there’s always room to improve. I would also turn that around and challenge the community to wholeheartedly participate in making the forum what you would like it to be. It’s like the failing U.S. education system, it’s not all one person’s fault. Team CC needs to be mindful of its position and not antagonize users, but the community also needs to recognize that most people join Team CC because they want to positively contribute to the site and that we’re not out to get you. And if someone just isn’t working out on the team, that should absolutely be addressed so that customers don’t just have to wait and hope that volunteer leaves the team or the site.

Q. Have you experienced any conflict of interest, being both a Team CC member and a member of BpB?

Absolutely not. If anything, I think being a member of both those groups makes me more well-rounded and a greater asset to Team CC.

Q. Who is the more productive group (or group of groups for the sake of semantics): The Tea Party or Occupy Wall Street?

I think it’s too soon to evaluate their productivity. Neither one has had a significant impact on politics yet; both could turn out to be fads. I had hoped that the Tea Party would generate some interest in third party and independent politics, but its clearly just an arm of the Republican party, with a few regional exceptions where citizens are legitimately trying to give voters more choices.

Q. House or Grey's Anatomy?

I don’t watch either, but the commercials for House are enticing. Plus Hugh Laurie is cool. I rarely watched ER either, but I watched Scrubs, even after it went downhill. I guess I prefer funny medicine. Or funnyish.

Q. Who would you rather make out with, a grown up Linus or grown up Schroeder?

Schroeder, it’s the musician thing.

Q. Which Charlie And the Chocolate Factory is better, the Gene WIlder version or the Johnny Depp version?

The Gene Wilder version! The Johnny Depp one is terrible.

Q. The sky is clear, the stars are bright, we're laying on the grassy hill pointing up at constellations. Which foreign head of state are you thinking of? Me too.

Angela Merkel.

Q. Did you sit in the front or the back of the classroom in high school?

Back, but I sat up front in college and grad school.

Q. If you could give something to your most memorable teacher as a gift, what would it be?

I recently received an extremely moving message from a young man I’ve worked with for several years. I would share that with my teacher so she knew who she helped me become.

Q. Which social networking platform do you prefer to get your CC updates from, Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook, because its fun to interact with the users who comment on the updates.Q. Which social networking platform do you prefer to give your CC updates from, Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter, because it automatically posts to Facebook and saving time is sexy.

Q. How many people in the BPB sig have you actually spoken with or even seen online? I'll give you a hint, you've never seen Professor Chaos

Q. In the year 2024, as part of a daring Global Warmers Truthers Crusade, you have to go back in time to the year 1995 to prevent the lies about global warming from occurring. You embark on the mission with your teenage son and teenage daughter. After a joint meeting in Rome with Italian mogul and future Italian head of state, Giorgio Napolitano and pop star Michael Jackson you learn that the Global Warming fiends have discovered your mission and they are plotting to kill you when you arrive at Berlin, your next pivotal destination. You have to leave your kids in the care of either Giorgio Napolitano or Michael Jackson b/c it's just too dangerous to take them with you. There's no time to make any other arrangements. Which one do you choose? (You can only choose one too b/c there is no time to retrieve each kid if you split them up. Also there is no time to give any instructions.)

Easy, I leave them with Napolitano. A civic-minded artist opposed to fascism? It’s like they were in their mother’s care. Vive la rivoluzione!

Q. What is the weirdest sexual fetish that you have ever HEARD of?

Plushies

Q.

Sadra7789 wrote:I think the article is well, although it cant not be compared with those Literary works, but it also have it mean. When i first time come in the forum, i just browsing here without any arm. But now i come here, i like here. From here i will learn something i have never learned, and also if i have any question, i can ask here then get it quickly.

squish - Do you feel Sadra7789 could become one of BpB most prolific and articulate posters?

I don’t think Sadra is ready for the BpB, but I don’t think we should discourage new people from posting in the forums, particularly when English isn’t their second language. But lol on the link. I miss that show. And the paycheck.

Q. What post makes you lol whenever you think about it?

2010-01-13 21:15:52 - saxitoxin: BLUE - OUR TREATY IS ENDED. YOUR ATTACK ON COOBER & ADELAIDE - THE TREACHERY - WILL NOT STAND. I declare a war of national survival. I will not rest until the foul stench of Blue is wiped from the Earth. Green, you're free to move without molestation. 2010-01-13 21:16:35 - el simondo: what are they puttong in your water???????????2010-01-13 21:17:45 - saxitoxin: LOYALTY

Vipey posted something on my wall recently that my husband and I now say IRL, but it’s not funny if I explain it. “You're not n2.“ Basically, I was really tired after being up all night with the baby and I asked Vipey this really detailed question about an attack route, not realizing that it wasn’t my territory.

Q. Why does my bestest pal ronc still have me on foe? Does he chat about me in the BpB forum? What's he say?

It’s rather obscene poetry, actually.

Q. I am too old and feeble to be able to read what is on your avatar. What is it and where is it from?

It is Alison Bechdel’s “The Rule” from the comic strip Dykes to Watch out For. This is where the “Bechdel Test” comes from, although people often miss the point when evoking it, especially the website bechdeltest.com (which is not affiliated with Alison Bechdel).

Q. Why are you so cool?

Am I cool? I don’t think so. Being cool is overrated, it only works for people who don't care that they're cool. Like this guy.

Q. Is your aversion to capitalization a good reason to occupy Wall Street?

NY protests these days seem to include everyone, so why not? The last march I went to was for Sean Bell and everyone from “Save the Dolphins” to “Free Mumia” showed up. It was a good day, but I don’t care for disorganization.

Q. Thanks for your time squishy!

That’s also not a question, but you’re welcome.

Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments!

In this issue we get the second installment of DaveH's Tournament Tips. If you're serious about running tournaments efficiently, I would definitely suggest that you follow this series. Dave is a master of Excel and some of the ways he has devised to simplify complex record-keeping tasks are amazing!

Angola and sonicsteve weigh in with their regular features, and sonicsteve has a special article as well, reminding us about the special requirements of large-team tourneys. Enjoy!

Once your tournament is full; you have tournament rights and you have created the blank games, you need to assign players to each game.

In many cases you first need to randomise your player list and there are several ways of doing this. If you are showing the results using Challonge then you can shuffle your list and then assign the list to be paired either sequentially (1 v 2, 3 v 4 etc) or traditionally (1 v 16, 2 v 15 etc as though they were seeded in order).

If you are not using Challonge, you could shuffle your player list by copying them to Random.org (http://www.random.org/lists/) and pasting the results back into an Excel spreadsheet. However you then find that each randomised name is preceded by numbers. An easy way of getting rid of these is by use of the following Excel function:

Column B has the player list (as entered); Column C is the randomised list from Random.org and the function copied into Column D is used to strip out the numbers.The formula in D3 is:-

For those of you wanting to know how the formula works, the RIGHT(C3,N) function copies the rightmost "N" characters from the text in cell C3. The LEN(C3) function gives the number of characters in the text in cell C3. The FIND(" ",C3) function finds the position of the space in cell C3. Therefore the formula copies the rightmost characters from the position of the space. Remember that if you then copy from this formula column you have to Paste Special/Value otherwise you get the function copied!

Greenoaks, master tournament organiser of over 100 tournaments (including his KISS, Watch & Learn and Best at Beta series) reminded me that you can also use random.org for randomising the game settings - and that gave me the idea for the "Random, Random, Random" tournament I started recently (though I am sure that the idea is not at all original!).

Another method of randomising your player list is to have your player list in Excel and paste the Random function RAND()in the next column. This function puts a random number between 0 and 1 into the column. You then select the two rows and sort according to the random number;

You find that each time you sort or refresh, the random number changes.

Note that if you are planning to set up an Excel template for many tournaments (and you are rather lazy!) you can create a macro to do the pasting and sorting. Simply select Tools/Macro/Record New Macro... and then give your macro a name and perhaps assign a key. Then just go though the row select and sort process and end your macro - done! If you want to put a button on your spreadsheet that carries out this new sort macro then select Tools/Customise/Format then drag the button icon to your toolbar. Then by selecting this icon then drawing a rectangle on your spreadsheet a button appears and you go straight to a window that allows you to assign your macro to this button. Job done! However, remember not to run this macro after you have started your tournament!

(These "tips" are ones that I have tried to make it a bit easier in managing my own tournaments. I am sure there are different and better methods than these, so please let me know. Any queries on the above I'll be glad to respond to!)

TPA Year 2 is cranking up with new tournaments coming out every Monday.

This season seems to have drawn out a lot more interesting ideas from tournament organizers as the variation in types of tournaments seems better than the first season.

The setup for Season 2 has changed a bit, as there are standard tournaments, major tournaments and premier tournaments. Scoring changes depending on each tournament, with more points being awarded for winning the premier tournaments.

Leehar won the only tournament that has finished so far and has an insurmountable lead with 500 points to uckuki's 300.

The first quarter of Season 2 is in the books - as far as the ability to join those tournaments - but the second quarter has just begun, so it is not too late to start entering and having a chance at winning the title.

Oh, and entering the TPA Season 2 is free and you don't have to fill out any surveys.

And now for our regular look at a selection of the tournaments in sign-ups:

benga is getting season 2 of his popular Headhunters series underway with Headhunters II - Tormented by Spirits. This is a series of Terminator tournaments which will finish with a Grand Finale tournament open to the best performing players from each individual event. The Headhunters Hideout thread provides details of past winners and information about the series as a whole.

It's a very good week for large 8-player Escalating tournaments. Tournament of 10s by Butters1919 will be running with 10 Standard games per round with scoring based on finishing position in each game. The organiser is giveing players the chance to nominate up to 10 maps they would like to play when signing up.

There are of course a couple of new TPA2 events since the last issue of the newsletter: Assassination by Fours [TPA2] is of course an Assassin event. The rules are very simple - if you are assassinated, you are out. 90 of the 120 spots were filled at time of press. Put Me In Coach [TPA2] is a repeat of a very interesting concept from the first TPA, but is awaiting some clarification of the rules before being approved, watch the thread if you are interested in this one.

I'd also like to give a shout out for Angola Loves the Originals [TPA2]. This TPA2 event had already filled 88 of the 128 spots available at time of writing and is a great looking 8-player Standard Escalating tourney with 8 games per round

I just wanted to give tournament organisers a reminder about the Large Team Tournaments policy (for events with between 5 and 12 players per team, since I've had a couple of requests for large team events recently. Both requests have failed because the organisers were unaware of the rules:

1. Large-Team Tournaments are tournaments featuring larger teams playing a variety of game settings toward a common goal. Every tournament must have at least 8 teams competing with each team carrying 5-12 active players. Tournaments that have teams of 13 or more players will not be allowed.

2. To be allowed to run a Large-Team Tournament the organizer must:

Have successfully completed a minimum of 3 tournaments, including 1 standard-team tournament. Appoint another TO as co-host or assistant (see below). Provide a clear and comprehensive tournament description and explanation. Provide a summary of the above tournament description (key points). Establish rules for the replacement of players and/or teams. Design the tournament in a manner that another organizer with a similar amount of experience would be able to rescue the tournament without too much interpretation of the rules. Seek approval from the Tournament Director responsible for Large-Team Tournaments (that's currently me, sonicsteve) before posting the tournament in the Create/Join a tournament forum. The approval PM needs to indicate which tasks both organizers will be responsible for.

3.- The co-host or assistant of the organizer must:

Have successfully completed 1 tournament as the organizer. Have access to, or copies of, the relevant tournament information such as spreadsheets and brackets. Be prepared, willing, and active enough in the flow of the tournament to take over the tournament if the organizer leaves for any length of time.

4.- To be eligible for a Tournament Achievement Medal a member of the winning team must:

Have played at least one-third (33%) of the tournament games he/she could have played. i.e. If a player could play in a max of 6 games per round, then they need to average at least 2 games per round over the course of the tournament. Have participated in at least half (50%) of all rounds or phases of the tournament. Have won 1 game in the tournament.

Note: This rule is in addition to the existing rules about Tournament Achievement Medals.

Hey, hey, hey, folks! I have some rather shocking news! This will be my last issue as the Foundry Executive. thehippo8 has been a Foundry Reporter here for a long time now and his diligence and overall article quality has really been a blessing, so he will be stepping up next issue as the new Foundry Executive. I have the utmost confidence in him, so I hope you'll all help me in welcoming him to the Executive team Now, just because I'm stepping down as the Foundry Executive doesn't mean I'm leaving. Quite the contrary, actually. But more on that later

Now for the articles! thehippo8 has one "boomshankar" of an article for you (*shrugs* his word, not mine. I just hope it isn't something profane in another language ) and koontz looks at "what's next for maps", including some of the countries that have been neglected, despite CC's vast collection of 201 maps!

In Issue 53 I wrote about the “essence of a game” as seen from the perspectives of modelling and simulation. As interesting (okay my word, re-reading it now I might say stuffy ... hehe) as that article was, it was still lacking in something. That something is the interplay between Game Design and Gameplay. And frankly until recently I hadn’t the foggiest what this involved!

Some theory

Game Design is, as you rightly surmised, the design of a game. Nothing new here and modelling and simulation are part and parcel of that. But Game Design is so much more. Game Design is a specialist field in which many people have made careers, yes that’s a full-time job. Companies which commercially develop electronic games have teams of people who specialise in the various aspect of design and implementation of game ideas. The number of employees will depend on commercial considerations but there will often be people who have an overall meta view of a game, others which specialise in implementation of those ideas for fun, effect and practicality and still more who translate those ideas into the game itself such as artists and programmers. Whether the game is designer driven (like The Legend of Zelda), technology driven (like Quake) or art driven (like Myst) the implementation all starts from an overall process of Game Design. The lead designer must be artistically and technologically astute to understand what works visually and what fits the game engine. The systems designer designs and implements the gameplay mechanics. The environment designer is responsible for creating the gameplay environment. The writer designs the overall game narrative, dialogue, commentary, cutscene narrative, journal, visual content, hint systems and all other relevant matters. So we have world design (backstory, setting and theme), system design (game rules and underlying patterns), content design (characters, items, puzzles and missions), game writing (dialogue, text and story), level design (implementation of phases of the game) and user design interface (setting the user interactivity and feeback options). In other words, there’s lots to think about in putting a game together. I really cannot do justice to this vast area of theory but here’s some further reading, and here and here and but then you’ll no doubt want more!

But, in my view, the most important aspect of all this is Gameplay. This was the bit I least understood, and is the single most important aspect that makes the game playable! Sid Meier is credited with saying “A game is a series of interesting choices.” That is to say, not only must there be choices in a game but there must be some compelling reason to make one decision or another. What makes the choice interesting is the inability to determine the result of the decision but nevertheless some compelling reason to make a choice all the same. The classic example is the Access Point in Das Scloss – if you stay there you lose all your troops, but if you don’t go there then you can’t get to the rest of the map and that’s like not even having all those troops! Decisions have to be non-trivial – there should be an upside and a downside to each decision made (including not moving at all). But to be a proper game there has to be a series of interesting choices all leading inexorably to some ultimate objective. That objective may be simple to overwhelm your opponent such as in Classic or something more complex as in Lunar War. Complexity in choices is good but the rules shouldn’t be so complex that the game simply won’t get played because people can’t be bothered to learn the rules! It is the interaction of the player with their environment which brings out good game play. Good gameplay choices could be optional in the sense that it is unclear whether taking that choice would give a good or bad result (essentially whether to attack an adjacent square or not is always dependent on dice rolls) or time dependent (in that if you do nothing your opponent will get that region, position, square or card bonus and you will not), critical depending on context (ie its now or never). Bad gameplay choices are those where it matters not whether you take the choice or not, options which are not options at all (boring) or options which are strictly speaking pointless or worse (like trying to take the ships in Treasures of the Galapagos or the guards or gas chamber in Supermax Prison Riot without holding the Warden).

Another aspect is that a game has to be fair. For instance, if someone were to auto-deploy in a way which means they already have the objective or an unassailable position then the other player(s) will feel cheated. But a game in which you can learn strategy (near dominance) is appealing because the efforts a person has spent in learning that strategy has a pay-off and brings them back time and again – such as the Poker Club map. Another factor of fairness is that the rules should be progressive and rational. It would not be fair, for instance, to require one player to have to traverse the whole board only to find that their opponent can sneak through a side-door and beat you there without any commensurate chance on your part. This involves carefully laying out a board to ensure against such weaknesses. It may be necessary to have a longer easier direction versus a harder quick one (ie less neutrals versus more – or regions with greater bonuses if they have more attack points or are larger). Finally, as to fairness, it would be unreasonable to have one opponent get so many auto-deployments without any effort while their opponent can’t do that. Rules in auto-deployment are important but so is careful design in the region bonuses.

Gameplay should be as fresh and interesting as possible so that the same map can be played multiple times but there is never any one only way in which it can be won, strategy aside (again the Poker Club map is a good example of this in that it may be better to try for the three sevens on the lower left or for a Royal Flush (you find it) depending on the initial deployment against whether two of a kind is the best you can hope for). Good gameplay should also allow for tactical versus strategic choices – ie short term gain versus longer-term considerations. In good Game Design, good gameplay will lead to different pay-offs depending on the different choices you make. One aspect that can also be considered is whether there can be secondary goals and not just a primary goal – ie taking regions rather than just trying to win the whole map. Good gameplay is derived by being able to win by doing something your opponent didn’t expect you to do. Whether that is a brazen assault, a delayed action or a roundabout action, a good map will enable alternate choices to all players. On a completely different note, a game will only be played if it provides interest – whether that is because it provides satisfaction gratification or pleasure), learning (skill acquisition), immersion (taking on a role or delving into a role), emotion (intrigue) or socialisation (some maps lend themselves well to team chatting or other friendly banter). A well designed game coupled with good graphics will bring players back time and again.

Some application

Let’s, for the purposes of this article, take a look at three of maps currently going through Beta to illustrate what I’m on about. I’ve chosen these purely for illustrative purposes and the views expressed in this article are entirely my own. So if I chose your map and you don’t agree with what I say then feel free to let me know! Better still, a duel to the death on your favourite creation is an option! I will first introduce the three maps I am looking at and then set out in chart form my views as to whether they meet 17 good Gameplay principles. You be the Judge!

Ok, so the first map I am looking at is Portland

Click image to enlarge.

As the by-line goes, Portland is a city of Roses, Bridges, Bikes and Brews. Travel by bike or light rail train around the city, drinking microbrews and the flowers smell pretty! Like all cultural pursuits drinking beer and smelling roses gives a payback. Own the railways to get more payback or flit quickly about by bike. This is presumed to be based on the here and now!

The second map I am looking at is Rorkes Drift:

Click image to enlarge.

As the blurb suggests, this map is based on an epic battle between two armies of vastly unequal but very determined desires to win. On the one hand you have trained British soldiers with guns (albeit 1879 versions) and on the other hand the immensely resourceful and brilliant Zulu warriors (and in 1879 they had many advantages including clever use of the thrusting spear and shield but no guns). The odds were strange, 150 British soldiers to 4000 Zulu warriors. The Zulu attacks were sporadic and the British Soldiers were successful in keeping hold of the fort. Eleven Victoria Crosses were awarded after the battle, perhaps because of the apparently overwhelming odds against such a success and because of the loss just the day before for the British Army in the Battle of Isandlwana (where there were even more overwhelming odds of 2200 against 20,000 odd but the British were poorly organised and the Zulus brave and determined). The setting for the Battle for Rorke’s Drift was close to a crossing (drift) by the mouth of the Buffalo (Mzinyathi) River where a small trading post had been created. In the wake of the earlier days losses, the British had some hard choices to make. By all accounts they made the right choice, and with minimal loss of life after fierce fighting for some ten hours before the remaining Zulus fled. So on a meta level you have British, Zulus and the fate of the country effectively in the balance. On another level you have the inequalities of troops, weapons and territory.

The last map I am looking at is Tribal War Florida:

Click image to enlarge.

On a similar theme to Rorke’s Drift, Tribal War Florida is another example of indigenous against the invaders, here nine different American Indian Tribes vie against each other and the Spanish Conquistadors holed up in a fort by themselves. The tribes are scattered but connected by ancient symbols. Conquer regions, travel by canoe or battle in the open plains with the Conquistadors to contend with! This map has one foot in reality and the other in fantasy and is not based on any specific time period – but perhaps loosely based around the 1521 battle.

So, considering the principles of good Gameplay mentioned above:

Click image to enlarge.

Keeping in mind that this is all my subjective views, it will be interesting to see whether any of this is of any use to the mapmakers – and those guinea pigs I referred to here in particular!

With the map number now at 201 (196 without the limited editions) with the release of All Your Base Are Belong To Us into Beta, what is next for maps.

The world and beyondThere are (depending on who you talk to) 192 countries around the world but far fewer than half have been made into maps. All countries would make for a great looking map, but do all countries hold enough interest to be made into maps? With history, battles come into play in a big way. From Rorke's Drift to Battle for Iraq and back again to Pearl Harbour. Many famous battles throughout history have no representation on Conquer club. Would a small unknown battle be a great idea for a map, or do we need to see some more epic battles come to life, like Trafalga. and what of the history that has not even been written yet? Does Lunar war and Space write this page of history or can we write some more fantastic future for mankind?

Good map makingWhat constitutes a good idea for a map and is there an original idea left?Can a map of a childs drawing be a great map, it would seem so as we have doodle Earth. So why not a Doodle Battle? Can an anatomy map make for a good map? The debate rages on in the foundry, some have tried, all have failed.But right now a map of a cows insides is making its rounds in the foundry. It seems the map maker wants to try something a little different. Is this a good thing or bad? If a cow map and Doodle Earth can be made, why not a childs quilt?Are we a little conservative as mapmakers or can a map of anything be made playable? Computercrazy-one-wayKeyboardPianoInternetFertilizationVomitCastle ConquerRacingAnother CrosswordOrchestraAlphabetPizza PartyCC StarThanks to DiM for getting this list together.

The Future

Nola_Lifer wrote:Seeing the majority of the demographic of people that play are white males between 18-30. I'd say any of these things come to mind. Geography, World War, Europe themed maps, or unique maps, unique being unique in gameplay like King's Court, Middle Ages, Stalingrad or unique in them such as cricket or baseball.

More mapsWhat will happen when we get to 300 or even 400 maps in the next few years? Can the site take many more maps before we get the problem of too many maps, not enough players to play them. Will maps be culled from the playing list and if so, which ones? Will maps go into a rotation cycle, only playable at certain times of the year? What ever happens, the worst that could happen is that the foundry gets closed down.

This week we have 2 rant-filled litany's on the woes of disorganization and the vagaries of luck by the resident Bogan from down under and the Norse hound respectively.Elsewhere in the clan scene, The Pack finally wrap up their epic top ten challenge with a close victory, wherein it ratcheted up more views than the Tofu-Empire saga in the CC2 quarterfinals

In Clan Competition news, the most exciting of which is the introduction of a 7 game tiebreak to decide the CC2 Semi-final between THOTA and TSM, the inaugural Random League heads into it's 7th week with Mythology taking the lead and both the All-Comers Cup (ACC) and the Clan Directors' Random Suicide Tournament (RST) are into their third rounds. For the RST, the semi-finalists in the main bracket are Empire, Agents of Chaos, Legion and Brethren of the Fat Mermaid (who were the top 4 seeds coming into the event).

The 2nd edition of the Newcomers Cup has also commenced, with 12 clans participating and the top 4 according to A400 having a bye.

The perennial Chuuuuck also returns to the Clan Scene, so if you want his expert assistance, make your offers known hereLeeharClan Executive

Ah hubris you have an avatar, and sadly tis is I. Since this is the clan section of the CC newspaper(funny no paper involved - Editors note, it does involve letters - but I digress), is sadly appropriate to air my deeply personal shame. We(The most lecherous, kickarse, horny animalistic clan on CC - The Brethren of The Fat Mermaid) have just narrowly lost a clan war to OSA(One step Ahead, fuckers). OSA deserves the win, they played out of their skin, and it was a narrow win, they payed attention to the marginal games, pulled in together, and really played well, kudos to Benga and all in OSA.I take all the blame for our loss. There are three clan leaders in the pirates - Our primary jobs are to look beautiful and sexy, and flick our mullets in the mirror. I drew the short straw and was dragooned into running the war vs OSA. IT WAS A MISTAKE. We had won our previous 9clan wars, and were looking good then.... Wait for it. I made a noob mistake, I had a hair cut.Foolish, reckless, suicidal even. We at BoFM pride ourselves on being the hairgods of CC (you would wouldn't you with a Bogan as clan leader), Draq's avatar shows only half his natural growth to avoid jealous stalkers. FrancisBoyles avatar is a true life pic of him in his younger years, we have hair covered. I stuffed up by having a trim. My bad, I brought bad mojo with the payment to that rather cute hairdresser. This is my mea culpa, DJ Teflon who is infinitely more organised than myself will be running our upcoming clan war vs IA.

So, I’d like to discuss something. From what I’ve read, there’s been a growing discontent among many clan players that see what I’ve been seeing and think what I’ve been thinking. If you disagree with me, then please disregard this entire article with my apologies.

For many of us who have decided to participate in the “competitive” clan community, there seems to be an ever decreasing feel of actual competition. You have to grit your teeth and tolerate the games, a feeling much like taking a rusty cheese grater to your private parts while you look at your teammates and ask, “This isn’t so bad, right?” hoping for some small sense of comfort in the shared pain.

The vast majority of the clan wars are played with anywhere between 40 and 80 games, the hope being that the more games played in the war, the more the luck factor will hopefully be even out. But does it? Does it ever? I took a look at my 20 active games against good teams and broke them down:

Five games will be won due to superior rolls.Four games will be lost due to inferior rolls.One game will be won due to superior drop.One game will be won due to superior strategy.One game will be lost due to inferior strategy.One game will be won due to an abundance of 3-carders.One game will be lost due to a teammate missing turns.Six games are even and competitive.

So of those 20 games, 8 will be determined by strategy. That’s 40% for the mathematically impaired. So, if you multiply both figures by 4 to come up with 80 games for a clan war, you’ll get 32 games determined by strategy and 48 determined by luck. I suppose that the hope is that those 48 games will be even in terms of which clan the luck favors in that game, but even so, when more than half of the games are determined by luck, how competitive is that war as a whole?

I know that basing that math off of a small sample of 20 games isn't that statistically relevant, but 80 games isn't a great sample either. Based on the wars that I've reviewed, checking game logs, the round length of games, first drop troop deployments, those figures aren't actually that far off.

Aside from playing CC, I enjoy playing first-person shooter games on Xbox live. It combines the fun of using real time strategy against another actual person with the fun of shooting somebody in the face. I highly recommend it.

I don’t take it too seriously, but those who do form competitive clans and deem themselves “Major League Gamers.” These MLGs compete against each other, but only after setting firm rules removing everything from the game that could possibly be considered overpowered. For example, you can’t run around with a rocket propelled grenade launcher on your back. You cannot equip perks or abilities that reduce the damage done by hand grenades and semtex. The MLG logic behind that one is that if they get the timing, aim, and cook time perfect on that hand grenade, and they throw it through the window of the building that you’re camping, you should die. At first, this struck me as a rather boring way to play, but I’m starting to understand it more and more in terms of wanting to play a game competitively.

And for the most part, competitive clans on CC seek do eliminate luck in a similar fashion. Most wars have guidelines against nuclear spoils and beta maps. Most clans do not create games with flat rate spoils. Others clans don’t. I recently saw a Pearl Harbor dubs game being used in a clan war. Pearl Harbor can be fun, but most of us know that a Pearl Harbor dubs game has no place in a “competitive” clan war. Going back to the first-person shooter comparison, that’s like playing a match where one team will get twice as much ammo as normal and the other team will get half as much and you don’t know who’s going to get which. Games like that don’t happen that often, and it’s not even really a complaint, just something that I noticed and couldn’t understand.

Playing the games is bad enough, but the fact that it has become taboo to even speak of the luck factor in any ongoing game has made it a bit worse for some players. I will almost never complain about the dice in public in an ongoing game. But when others mention mine, I'm comfortable enough with my skill set not to get defensive and honest enough not to deny my luck. When they play such a huge factor in the game, it seems a bit silly NOT to mention them. If admitting my good dice will assuage my opponent's frustration, I will do it gladly. If you do it in a clan war game, you're an asshole and a complainer, though. It makes no sense, but that's the unspoken rule that has been established. You're expected to sit there and take your beat down in silence.

When you make the decision to join a competitive clan and play in wars, I think most people understand that they’re sacrificing some of the “fun” of CC for the thrill of competition, and maintaining that delicate balance is usually what differentiates the CC-sane from the CC-insane. But when the search for competition more often than not results in frustrating losses and hollow victories, the taste of dissatisfaction becomes impossible to wash from your mouth.

I’d like to end this rant by asking you all a question that I’ve been asking myself with increasing frequency: