Sunday I fly out to Wisconsin, and thus starts the annual cycle of fear. I’ve talked way too many times before about my fear of flight, but it didn’t occur to me, until recently, how my fear of flight was effecting others. Color me selfish, y’all, but it turns out, people hate traveling with me, […]

In case you missed it, we’re on the road. Driving from Ohio to Florida, because we just really enjoy doing that with three kids 5 and under. We’ve decided to escape for a week or so, which sounds way more romantic and mysterious than… Andy was going to lose his vacation days, my house is […]

When Andy came back from Korea, he had 80,000 won in his pocket. Which sounds like a lot, but it really it’s only, like $70. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Disney World money was like Korea money? I don’t know what it is. You go there with every rational thought and plan in the world. […]

Curse you fear of flight. I don’t know why, in my head, I envision road trips going better than they actually do. I mean, I know my kids are technophiles and they wouldn’t how to sing in a round if it punched them in the face, but really with the constant need for stimulation, already? The […]

So tomorrow, we are driving to Florida. Again. I know. Like Lindsay Lohan, I just never learn. But, we need to get away. Like, Andy and I just look at each other with a face that says, “I need to fucking leave this place before everyone dies in a bathtub.” So, we decided to change […]

The day before I left for New York, I made an emergency appointment with my doctor. Mostly because Andy woke up to find me hyperventilating in bed, singing Cats in the Cradle, and pricing slimming parachutes from my cell phone. It turns out, I don’t have a fear of flying, I have a phobia of […]

Feelings. I’m having so many of them, all pointy and squishy and raw. I’m not really good at doing anything constructive with my feelings outside of repressing them or eating them. As a result, they mostly end up on my thighs, dissolved by xanax, or exploding out of me, normally in the car, often times […]

This weekend, I took my fear of flying to a whole new level. I was doing ok for a while, but after a few strong turbulence setbacks, I’m back at the same panic level of that horse they shot in International Velvet for freaking the shit out 900 miles above the ground. I think I […]

By the time the shuttle arrived to take us to the airport, I was sobbing. Not because I was going to miss my kids, or that I was missing Wyatt’s first ever school Christmas program, or that my favorite hair straightener broke the day before and I rationally announced to Andy THE TRIP WAS OFF […]

You know in Sixteen Candles, when the Long Duk Dong opens the door the day of the wedding, all hung over after spending the night before drinking and riding a stationary bike with his new style American girlfriend, to tell Jake that Samantha isn’t home, she’s at the church getting married to the oily bohunk? […]