That Mom You’re Talking About in Line

That mom you’re talking about in line just got an email this morning telling her that she was being laid off unless she agreed to drive 120 miles a day to keep her job. She’s a single mom of three in the middle of a divorce. Her soon to be ex-husband bailed on keeping the kids during a week she has no one else to watch them (even though he agreed to do it and had a month’s advance notice)*****.

She’s in line at the pharmacy because her six year old has an ear infection and the prescription she filled for her on Monday is apparently not working. And, since they have obviously just left the doctor, perhaps it’s important to note that her 13 year old son has high blood pressure and will need to be checked for diabetes within the next two weeks before she has to take them both back for a follow up.

So while you’re talking about how much better a mom you are and how many children and grandchildren you raised*, maybe you should consider the fact that she does discipline her children. But, if she let loose on her youngest right now it might be more about her feeling completely lost than about him misbehaving in CVS.

You don’t know how much she’s cried today or how afraid she is right now and you’re standing behind her wagging your tongue about how bad her children are, and how “that’s what happens when you let the kids run things.” And though she’d really like to choke you, she simply acknowledges the fact that she hears you talking about her by telling her youngest son to stop misbehaving because he’s making people talk about her.

Oh, you hear that, but you don’t stop. You’re too full of your own “perfection” to see she’s drowning and alone and scared and angry and just plain broken. But if she cried in front of you, you’d probably feel all the better about your bad parent judgments. So instead, she’ll wait till the kids are occupied and she’ll cry alone in her room (like she usually does).

Please, please, people, think about what other people could potentially be enduring while their children are acting the fool. Think about other people, period.Don’t elevate yourselves higher than you ought, and if I’m not sinning, don’t talk smack, I’m trying.

*I’m thinking if you had to raise your grandkids (and health wasn’t a factor) then you might not have done such a great job with your own kids anyway. Thank you very much! Just sayin’. I’m human too.*

****A PRAISE GOD update, he called shortly after I published this and decided he will be taking his children for the week! That’s an answer to prayer, ladies, on a VERY troubling day. God is GOOD even in the desert****

I’ve been busy. But I do read. I subscribed and when I read the post after this one that you hadn’t been out of the house all week, I flipped back and realized I missed this one. Truth is, I often am THAT mom that people talk about. Or at least feel that way. Doesn’t make it right, but you’re not alone. I’m sorry I missed your seminar. Eric took his truck to the shop and I was home with the kids when it started.

I’m sorry you missed it too. It would have been nice to see you. Maybe someone will ask me to present it again at their church? With regards to this piece, that was a really bad week for me, actually, so I am sorry to hear that you are familiar with that struggle. I think you’re pretty great. That smile can melt the iciest hearts and move mountains I’m sure.