Arcata City Council unanimously agrees to add further instructions to stop signs

ARCATA, CALIF. – The City Council has reached an agreement to add further instructions to all stop signs city wide after a motion for votes was brought up by concerned citizens who complained of the confusion at intersections.

“I mean, yeah, I’ve seen those red signs, but I never really knew what they meant,” said one meeting attendee, who also admitted, “I usually go whenever it feels right; sometimes I don’t really stop at all!”

When the council asked the public in attendance what they normally do when arriving at intersections with stop signs, the consensus was just to say to other drivers, “Nah, you go, bro!”

Others maintained the appropriate way to maneuver these confusing intersections is to play “a game of chicken: the dominant driver goes first while the lesser driver has to wait.”

“Why don’t we just make every intersection a roundabout, like the one at 10th and I Streets?” an Arcata resident chimed in.

It seems no one knows quite what to do at a stop sign, but one thing is for certain: traffic accidents have gone up 97 percent since Humboldt State University resumed spring classes.

(I think THAT part MIGHT’VE been a joke)
(Of some sort)
(You can never be sure with these things, I’m not a jokeologist)
(Maybe he really does think blind people drive with their hand out the window, slapping every sign they go by at 40mph feeling for Braille)

Not only “All bicyclists must stop” but also “Don’t wave bicyclists to go first! Take your damn turn!” Seriously. When I stop on my bike, If you were there first, I really, really, really want you to take your proper turn! I don’t need your Traffic Charity and more importantly, it’s safer for everyone if we all adhere to the same rules! I have to do some research, but I’ve always been told that if you wave a person to go and someone else hits them, you could be counted liable… at least in part. … I’ve been ranting for years about maybe writing a “How Not To Be A Douche Bag and/or Idiot In Traffic In Arcata” pamplet with a bicycle section, an auto section, and even a pedestrian section. …and a special Hate section for bicycles with motors….but maybe that one’s just me…. 😉 I’d lobby to make it part of every students’ welcome package! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! …but …we all know this article is a total joke, right? Some of y’all sound so serious…