Thursday, 27 August 2015

Children in Care and their memory gaps

It was while she was pregnant
that Ella started to get concerned about a small, highly specific, memory loss.
In the end she went to the doctor with a list of questions.

Is it normal to have gaps in your memory? The time from being taken
away from Mr Nut Job to meeting Eve in the Home is very bitty in my head. Eve
calls it a jigsaw puzzle with pieces missing!

I can remember being called out of a lesson. Being taken to the Head Teacher’s office then a long trip in the back of a car.

I can remember a 100% gross examination and holding on to a lady's hand. Having hysterics! Lots of questions, some that I didn't understand.

I can remember going to a strange house with lots of goldfish in a tank. Not wanting any food just a drink.

I can remember just sitting on a bed in borrowed pyjamas (blue stripped). Not being able to find the toilet so I used the one downstairs.

I can remember the top level of a multi-story car park with a glass lift. There was a lady with twins carrying green plastic bags to the car.

I can remember arriving at the Home and seeing a squirrel in the garden. I didn't know what a Home was - nobody explained it to me.

I can remember meeting Eve. She shared things with me and helped me fit in. She told me what boys to avoid!

All the rest is missing except tiny little bits. Perhaps it is best I don't remember it all? But is doesn't seem to make much sense does it? Too much missing!

The doctor wasn’t much help so Ella just had to come live with the gaps!

Ella's memory gaps are genuine - she cannot recall things that certainly did happen. But I'm not convinced that all my memory gaps are as real as assorted social workers would have me believe. I have seen the minutes of various meetings - about failed placements and the like - where I was listed as being present but where I have zero recall of the contents ever being discussed in my presence. As ever I am more than a little suspicious of things social workers say, especially if blame is being shared out!

The doctor wasn’t much help so
Ella just had to come live with the gaps.