Casey Seiler: Give that man a medal

CASEY SEILER

Published 3:28 pm, Saturday, February 15, 2014

Forget about anything you've seen from the halfpipe or ice rink in Sochi: This week's most dazzling feat of gymnastics occurred in Albany on Wednesday amid the very unathletic setting of the Capitol's Red Room, where Gov. Andrew Cuomo attempted the notoriously difficult Total Reverse Rhetoric Assault with Friendly Differences Camouflage.

My God, it was a thing to behold. The maneuver came in response to a reporter's question about a just-released Quinnipiac University poll that suggested New Yorkers supported Cuomo's plan to fund statewide universal pre-kindergarten education from existing state funds over New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio's desire to support the city's pre-K effort through a city tax surcharge on the wealthy.

"I want a universal full-day pre-K program for the state," Cuomo said. "New York City, yes. Also Buffalo. Also Rochester, also Syracuse, also Albany, also Long Island — every child in this state. Well, how do you pay for it? Tax in New York City? No. Statewide system should be paid by the state."

Warming to the topic, Cuomo employed the standard technique of misstating his opponent's argument: "Well, maybe we should let the rich districts have their own, and then the poor districts finance their own," he said, sketching a plan that has been proposed by no one.

"That's repugnant to the whole equity argument. It should be statewide — let the state pay, let the state distribute." he said. "Not that a richer jurisdiction should have a better quality of program because they happen to have more wealth."

This was political jiu-jitsu at a very high level: De Blasio had won a crushing victory in November by waging a campaign built on the theme of economic equality, and here was Cuomo trying to make him look like some sort of monocled Park Avenue greedhead who can't spare a sou for the poor children of Utica. I half-expected someone in the Red Room to start one of those slow claps you see in movies.

Cuomo's news conference — on the utterly unmemorable topic of new outdoor-themed license plates and sportsmen's permits — occurred just before de Blasio presented his first city budget. The mayor's inability to quickly fashion a cogent riposte to the governor's equality switcheroo was evident in de Blasio's ham-handed Q&A response, which seemed to suggest that New York City's poor children are more in need of properly funded pre-K than the poor children of Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse and Albany. (Thursday's blizzard was nothing compared to the concurrent dump of statements from upstate elected officials who took exception to de Blasio's comments — releases that were Totally Spontaneous and Uncoordinated In Any Way By The Second Floor.)

Given a few hours, de Blasio's progressive allies were able to craft a better defense, which noted that Cuomo's argument held about as much water as a paper bag. They noted that the state's current system of funding education results in fairly eye-popping inequities between rich and poor districts. They asked what in the world would be wrong with the city tapping its wealthy to fund pre-K in New York City in lieu of Cuomo's newly promised state contribution, which would free up an equal amount of state funding ($340 million) to spread around the rest of New York? Wouldn't that increase the size of the pile of money for the pre-K effort statewide?

Of course it would — but that pile-enlargement depends on getting de Blasio's proposed surcharge past the Republicans who control the Senate with the aid of Independent Democrat Jeff Klein, who spent the week tying himself in knots trying to keep de Blasio's progressives as well as his GOP partners happy. When budget-negotiation push comes to budget-deadline shove, Klein is likely to bid the mayor's surcharge dreams a fond adieu.

Unlike Klein, Cuomo was never a fan of the surcharge, which aggravated his allergy to raising taxes in an election year.

In addition, the governor needs the Senate Republicans placated to guarantee their approval of his plan to do the exact opposite and cut taxes on homeowners, renters and businesses.

Cuomo and his allies are no doubt hoping that de Blasio has more weeks like this one, which included his poor-kids gaffe as well as the news that he had called police to check on a political supporter who had been detained, and a bizarre Twitter war with NBC weatherman Al Roker over the city's decision to keep schools open in the teeth of Thursday's snowstorm.

My colleague Nick Reisman observed that when the mayor of New York City is debating Al Roker, he has already lost.