Maryland Dialect

The Merlin (Maryland) Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which
inhabits a triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake
Bay, bounded roughly by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then
westward to Frederick Mall, thence following the western border of the
cable TV franchise and the string of McDonalds' along Route 50 to the
Bay. All of these lands and the natives thereof are known as the Land of
Merlin.

The Land of Merlin is divided further into semi-tribal areas called Cannies
"COUNTIES" (e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeJee Canny, Hard Canny, etc.). The
dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, where the
people come on weekends to trade their goods. Because of the numerous
words and phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English,
linguists have long postulated that there is some kinship between the
two.

Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard
English from babyhood, chiefly because of their voracious appetite for
television. However, they invariably refuse to speak standard English,
even with outsiders who obviously do not understand a word they say.

Lesson 1. Pronunciation Drill - Listen and Repeat:

Ball Tee More =

The City of Baltimore, more commonly known as Balmer, or Baw Duh More

Merlin =

Our State

Balmorese =

What we're speaking here in our State of Merlin

Allanic =

an ocean

Am B'Lance =

Takes sick/hurt people to the hospital

Arn =

What you do to wrinkled clothes

Arnjuice =

from the sunshine tree

Arouwn in all directions =

norf, souf, ees, and wess

Aspern =

what you take for headaches

Bald =

some people like their eggs this way

Bawler =

what the plumber calls your furnace

Beeno =

a famous railroad

Beero =

Bureau (as in FBI or dresser)

Brawl =

Broil

Bulled Egg =

An egg cooked in water

Calf Lick =

bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ...

Canny =

a state gubmit division, such as Anne Arundel or Prince George's

Chest Peak =

A large nearby body of water

Chimley =

Structure that Santa comes down

Colleyflare =

A white vegetable

Crick =

Where the warter runs

Downey Owe Shin =

Summertime vacation destination of Ocean City, also known as Ayshun City ("Down to the ocean")