japan

“No, I know. It sounds weird to me too,” I assured the mother of my son’s friends. “I did just ask if your kids could come over and I could show them Japanese cartoons and take pictures of them. I get it.”

Let’s rewind back to mid-December: my son and I were Christmas shopping, and Nintendo had a game kiosk set up in the mall. Among the games was one called Yo-Kai Watch. My son and I wouldn’t have paid too much attention to it, except that one of the game’s characters was a butt. Like, literally, a butt. A Nintendo rep asked my son if he wanted a Yo-Kai Watch mask. “THE BUTT I WANT THE BUTT,” my son yelped because he’s seven years old and he’s my son and I love him as much as anything could love anything.

This ROFLWTF moment is brought to you by Atsushi Shiraishi at the Tama Art University. When you’re a father, you want to be your child’s everything, and what better way to do that than by being your child’s EVERY-F***ING-THING?

That’s why the AthleTitti makes so much sense, even if you can’t say the name without giggling to yourself like a schoolboy. This rope, leather and steel vest provides your child with hand-and-footholds to rival even the finest play equipment at the park. Just know: you will get kicked in the johnson.

We didn’t have the stones to ruin your Monday with this story, so here it is today: a father died protecting his nine year old daughter from a blizzard in Japan.

Hokkaido Island had a nasty blizzard in the last few days that saw temperatures dropping to 21° amidst 68mph winds. People were stranded in cars, and at least nine people died, including a father, Mikio Okada.