Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Look, the CLOAK knows the Raiders suck. Okay? If you could see my iPhone right now, you'd see a poem of despair written in text messages between Dan and Me.

But some guy named Tim Parent wrote an article on the Bleacher Report arguing that the Detroit Lions, currently 0-13, are a better team than the Raiders.

He admits that while his argument is stupid, because the Raiders have 3 games to the Lions 0, that nevertheless you can deduce the Lions are the better because the gain more yards, score more points, and, well, let's let Mr. Parent tell it in his own words:

Let's put the numbers aside and level the playing field with the one game element that can not be calculated using statistics—heart. It's the one thing every NFL team must have in order for all of this to mean something. If you're missing that, don't even bother showing up.

This is where Detroit manhandles Oakland.

His evidence? Rudi Johnson's blog on the team website (which Parent neglects to link to, so I had to look it up myself), where it was transcribed, "But now, it’s like crunch time when we run out of options and run out of time now. So we have to make something happen like right now and teams aren’t letting us do that the easy way." Actually, Parent paraphrases this.

Look, as a Raiders fan, I'm embarrassed that the Raiders at the end of their 6th straight season with at least 10 losses. It's unacceptable that the team of Ken Stabler, Jim Otto, John Madden, Jim Plunket, Fred Belitnikoff, Howie Long, etc etc etc is now mentioned in the same breath with a team like the Detroit Lions, who have none of that history despite being almost 30 years older than the Raiders as a franchise.

But Parent's argument is just plain retarded.

Also, ask yourself, if, as the parent of a young child, you saw some asshole dressed like he's dressed, and doing what he's doing, on your child's playground.

I mean, it's not that complicated. I bet even Al Davis could figure that one out.