I have a feeling that Pitt and Jolie’s fights at home probably involve dialogue just like this, however, that’s purely speculation. Anyway, I plan on cursing only in celebration this weekend since it’s my birthday today and I plan to acknowledge that fact through downtown drinks, steak dinners and presents from now until Sunday.

So, before I leave the office by noon today, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Representatives for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie refuted claims this week that couple was splitting up.

It was reported in several places that the couple, in anticipation of a split, has drawn up papers that would settle custody of their kids and divide their fortune. Reps for the couple, however, stated that Jolie and Pitt are “just fine” they were “just busy lately.”

Their reps did say, however, that if the couple does split up that they planned to divide custody of the children by region of origin with Jolie taking the Eastern hemisphere and Pitt the West.

Gary Coleman was arrested in Utah this week on a domestic-violence warrant, sources said.

Cops in Santaquin, outside Salt Lake City, would not comment on the arrest, but Utah County jail records indicate that Coleman, 41, was being held in lieu of $1,725 bail for the 2009 warrant.

The domestic violence charges against Coleman stuck when police allegedly saw the bruises on the shins of his wife, a bruise pattern that correlated to his reach.

Comedian Andy Dick was arrested for two counts of felony sexual abuse this week for unwanted groping at a comedy club in West Virginia.

"Based upon statements of two victims and independent witness accounts alleging that he had engaged in unwanted and uninvited groping of the two victims' genital areas, Andrew R. Dick (AKA Andy Dick) of South Pasadena, Calif., was arrested and charged with two counts of Sex Abuse in the First Degree," read a statement from the Huntington Police Department.

The attack allegedly happened after Dick appeared at the Funny Bone Comedy Club and Restaurant in Huntington, West Virginia.

The cops said Dick was heard groping and slurring “I’ll find your funny bone you sexy beast” before he was arrested.

Kiefer Sutherland revealed this week that he lost $869,000 in an alleged cattle-investment operation scheme that went awry, according to the San Joaquin County District Attorney's office.

Through a financial advisor, Sutherland became involved with suspect Michael Wayne Carr. Carr allegedly promised to buy cattle in Mexico and resell them in the U.S. for a profit. The buy money was transferred, however, there is no evidence that any cattle buying or selling took place, prosecutors say. Carr is expected to be arraigned Feb. 8th on 12 felony charges.

Meanwhile, Sutherland is wondering around in a daze and asking anyone he passes “Where’s the Beef?” (Nice modern reference, eh?)

Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller checked into a North Carolina "wellness program" after her release from intensive care following wisdom tooth surgery, according to People magazine.

Her lawyer, Yale Galanter, confirmed that she's in a "facility where she can rest, rest, rest" and get "competent medical care for her mind and body." He said that despite her history of drug abuse that she is not being treated for addiction. "Brooke did not enter a drug rehab program," Galanter tells PEOPLE. "She has been drug free for six months. Since Christmas day, she has been assaulted by her husband, almost lost her life, and developed pneumonia.”

He continued with: “And that’s a crazy bunch of drama that could drive anyone to take drugs, but she’s not there for drugs. I promise.”

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

What these images have in common was big, beautiful birthday smiles . . . anything else is purely coincidental. So, show off your pearly whites today, flash your grin or other parts f your body as you see fit and . . . Happy Friday!

WIGSF - Apprecitate the detail todays, so I think (think) I agree w/ you about Pitt/Anniston even though I think Anniston has some definite issues herself, I restrained myself on the Coleman comment, ha, Dick is going to jail soon enough as I think that is the second or third time he has been arrested for something like that, it would be kind of funny for a 24 prequel dream sequence set in the Old West, Sheen seems possessed in several pics and I always love a good Ferris reference, especially on a Friday. Happy Friday WIGSF.

Linda - Yeah, I agree as this Pitt-Jolie story pops up every few weeks, but this week, it seemed even more intense than usual. Dick could almost always fill in for Lohan. Ha. Thanks on the birthday wishes and have a great weekend yourself. Happy Friday.

Heff - To be entirely honest, I am working from home today . . . Ha. Just a lucky coincidence. Glad you approve of those final images as I do too. Happy Friday Heff.

Native Minnow - Really appreciate the birthday wishes and the detail, so I think Jolie will always be hot and a little scary, which works for me, you're luck you were out of UT before Coleman came a knockin' and bringing his fists to town, almost went for a Dick pun, I loved that Sutherland story as I found it hilarious, Hollywood and Utah are like brother and sister and glad you liked the images. Happy Friay Minnow.

Miss Ash - Coleman's pic actually makes me feel kind of sad for the guy. Don't really know what he did . . . never found the details. And I am working from home dammit. I've already been on 2 conference calls and managed to respond to comments - multi-tasking. Happy Friday Miss Ash.

I call bullshit on Brangelina. haSpeaking of work, I'm under the gun working on a Gov Debate show tonight (which will air on KVUE tonight by the way) but you'll probably be drinking then. lolHappy Friday Birthday!!!

Haiku Master - Nice work on both, but I think that #1 is my favorite. Splitting hairs I guess. Happy Friday.

Boxer - I know about Coleman. Scary and kind of sad as he looks rough. I like Pitt and Jolie fine, but I do think there's probably loads of tension there. But that doesn't mean they are breaking up . . . I'll believe it when I see it. Happy Friday Boxer.

Jlee - Thanks on the birthday side & yeah, I don't think they are divorcing. Yet. Again, I'll believe it when I see it, but the rumor mill did go wild this past week for some reason. Happy Friday.

Nobich - Thanks a lot & Happy Friday to you.

Getoffmylawn - Apprciate it & it can't help being famous as my feeling is that it just magnifies your flaws. Ha. Happy Friday.

Kymical Reactions - That reallys ucks when work gets in the way of blogging, eh? Ha. Still laughing about the petting zoo line, the 24 phone ring is kind of funny too, Coleman's shot is terrifying to me as he kind of looks like Golem, and I will work on the bottoms up theme. It's harder than it looks. Happy Friday.