The 16 unromantic stages of every modern day romance

It used to be 'holding hands', 'kissing on the lips', 'fingering in the cinema', 'giving head at a house party' before finally 'sex in parents' bed while they are on holiday in Devon' (just me?). Well anyway, we thought it was time to revamp these soggy stages for the modern world and the new, improved, sophisticated modern couple 💜