03 June 2013

Five, Farms, and Fun

This week, two people told me they were interested in reading my blog. I panicked. I realized I didn't want their first impression of the Diaries to be my last post where I basically yelled "FUCK YOU, AND DON'T EVER BOTHER ME AGAIN!" before slamming the door in your face.

I recommended they start reading the entries from 2011 and I came here to write something a little lighter.

My mood is much improved this week due to two things: my sister Erin came to visit and Five went to school. I called Erin about a month ago when I had reached my breaking point. It was impossible for me to accomplish anything other than caring for the recently hospitalized Five and Erin is like Mary Poppins--she flies in and gets things done. She freed me up to actually leave the house alone a few times, I was able to get some projects past the half-way done point, and we took time out every few days to watch old episodes of McLEOD'S DAUGHTERS on Netflix. Then she got a sinus infection and had to stay an extra week. Bonus! I didn't tell her I've been sneaking downstairs to spray mold in her room in the hope she'll have to stay the rest of the month.

Five has continued to improve while Erin is here. A lot of this is due to his anti-anxiety medication settling in but I like to think I've helped. I am his primary therapist and we have spent many, many hours talking about his fears and the pressures at school. We've been working on identifying specific triggers for his anxiety so he can re-train his brain. Last week he went back to school and successfully completed four half-days!

The principal called me on his second day back to talk about his concern that Five wasn't staying the whole day and how that might make it difficult to catch him up. I resisted the urge to drive to the school and smite him. The school nurse expressed her opinion that the Captain and I were making it more difficult for Five by lowering our expectations and letting him leave early THE FIRST WEEK HE RETURNED TO SCHOOL IN OVER A MONTH.

I'm going to pause now and let you ponder that statement.

So, without digressing into the type of invective-filled post I'm trying to avoid for fear I may scare away new readers, I will just quietly let you know I reminded everyone that the Captain and I are Five's parents and we know best. Onward.

Now that I've infected Erin, we're going to spend this week planning our new business venture, which is really a variation on an old idea but without the real estate. I dream of buying a small farm and using it for country weddings--fields of sunflowers for posing the betrothed, vows exchanged inside a charming ramshackle barn, a feast served on heirloom linens and china. Basically, it's a way for me to use all my stuff and gain some land.

I think this is a lovely plan but I'm staring at a future filled with years of college tuition bills and I just don't see how the funds will magically appear to scratch my creative farmer itch. Thus...Country Weddings to go! We'll pack up all my beautiful belongings and create rustic tablescapes at the venue of your choice! All my mismatched china and stemware, the galvanized buckets and flower pots, the antique linen cloths and quilts trucked on site! Everything but the food! (Let's be clear about that. We're awesome, but we don't cater.)

We're working our first job right now for the niece of my dear friends June and Janet, otherwise known as The Tech Grrlz. It's not really a job so much as a beta test because I volunteered to help her bring her vision to life. We've been busy crackle-painting herb crates, planting flowers in soup tureens, and perusing fonts for business cards.

I don't know if anything will grow from the business idea but it's been exciting to open the door to creativity again instead of shouting curses through the wood. It's been fun, and right now that's worth about a hundred acres of farmland.

And I'm sorry to hear that the officials at Five's school seem to live in the dark ages with respect to helping students who struggle with anxiety.

I had one this year who came and if he told me his stomach hurt, which was our code, I let him lie down behind my desk and hold a stuffed animal where no one could look at him. After a while he'd ask for a book to look at or his work. Finally he'd come out when he felt ready. He was THERE. That was a major victory.

As a teacher I'm kind of ashamed of those people who judgey-slapped you after you'd basically lifted a car over your head to get him to come to school at all. Bravo to Five for making it four times!!!! If it was me, I'd be giving him stickers and ice cream.

School admins are ridiculous. We had a 20-something guidance counselor suspect something of our daughter that was totally off base, even to the point where she made her cry and had my wife and I scared to death... Needless to say, we got the principal involved to set this overzealous ass straight. She then changed her tune when she found out our daughter was ranked 8th in her class. In turn, we got a new guidence counselor... Like you said, Parents know best!!!

It's just frustrating how vigilant you have to be all the time. I know my children benefit from the school setting and I think most teachers are kind souls who want the best for my boys, but holy moley, when they screw it up it tends to be in spectacular ways.

Love the business idea, you'd do well around here. Maybe eventually you can find a partner to handle the catering. Hugs to you and Five for making it through a difficult time, hope he continues to improve.

Right? I like to keep the Diaries real for you, my friends, but I guess I'm not as comfortable with the newbies!

Don't you already have a lot of country up near you? Are you sure folks need me? Because that would help me solidify my plan of Country Weddings across the land! We'll have stops in New Jersey, Montana, and Arizona!

I feel like I should sponsor an information session with psychiatrists and counselors because I'm pretty sure anxiety is the leading disorder among young people these days.

It's been exciting to think about the business. I like to jump in and do things which makes the Captain a little nervous. He's a much more methodical planner. But Erin lives in the middle--she's creative AND an organized Virgo person! So maybe we'll have some success.

Thanks for the props. It's really hard for him, so we were proud he managed to make it through those first few days.

What a fantastic idea! Many FGBVs that it goes well for you. Also, I'm so happy to hear Five's making some progress and that you're getting even a little bit of time for you. It makes all the difference. *hugs*

I actually think it might work as a business but now I have to really talk to the Captain about it. I'm the creative brain and he's the business brain, plus we have a whole family to juggle, etc. but I'm remaining enthusiastic! In a strange way, it's made me want to write again, so that can't be bad.

Firstly, I don't know how I missed this post for so long. Clearly my internet eyes are failing.

Secondly, I'm sorry that the school is not taking you and the Captain's input as seriously as they should. As someone who has been on every side of education, I find we are most successful when we work as a team; a team where every member (including the parents and the student) are a valued member. Some situations are tougher than others to navigate. People are people and I've learned not to fault "experts" for not knowing the first time as long as they're willing to try something different when the first thing doesn't work. That's a long way of saying: I hope things are better for all involved.

Thirdly, I'd love to see pictures of your new business. I have no such skills and because of that I stalk Pinterest looking for things that I can actually do. Plus, you're close enough to hire when I need to throw a big party! (You travel, right?) :)

Fourthly, Sara Bareilles and I spend A LOT of time together; good choice.

Fifthly, it's Super Summer and you are one Super Mom, Writer, and Beautifier!

Things have definitely improved for Five, although I know we still have work to do. He managed to work with a tutor from May until the end of the school year, and even thanked her on the last day for helping him. A far cry from having to pull him out from behind the couch to sit at the table. Plus, the school now seems committed to working on a solution for September. Fingers crossed.