A Child’s Comment About My Son’s Name Freaked Me Out

When naming our children, we try to think about every possible nickname and meaning people could associate with that name. The pressure! It can drive parents-to-be absolutely bonkers. There were names I specifically didn’t choose due to negative things my own mother said about them. But, in the end, I do feel that I chose the best possible names for my little ones.

My son's name is Hunter. He’s a blue-eyed, long-blonde-haired boy who couldn’t be more sensitive and sweet. Now, of course I say this because he is my son, but I know anyone that knows him would say the same.

During an outing at a local family-friendly event, we made friends with kids who were of similar age, and when Hunter introduced himself to the little girl who must have been around 6, she said, slightly confused, “Hunter?” Then she looked at her mother and said, “Mom, isn’t a hunter a killer?”

I had a moment of name remorse.

The girl, who might as well have been named Deer, made my son, who was 5 at the time, feel very strange. “Killer? I’m not a killer,” he said. “I’m Hunter. I’m nice.” The girl’s mom and I locked eyes for a moment: Mine had concern; hers looked like they were writing an “I’m sorry” note. She told her child that “killer” was just one meaning of that word.

I couldn’t help but think the family was vegan and had a negative conversation about hunters just the night before. My peaceful, animal-loving Hunter looked up at me waiting for my response. I told him many words have different meanings, and that his name meant that he was “always on the hunt” for things, a “searcher”, someone who explored, someone who had a curiosity and drive to find things. I also told him it was a shade of the color green. He was satisfied, though he asked me what does “drive” mean and wondered if it had to do with what I do in the car. I explained. He proclaimed that green was his favorite color, and then we hunted for some ice cream and all was forgotten.

I realized how important it is for people not to have questionable or negative comments regarding someone's name or the name they chose for their little one. This time it was a child who innocently blurted out a negative association with my child’s name, but adults do it often, too, sometimes even within earshot of a child. In this case, I know it wasn’t meant to cause anyone to feel sad. But that wasn’t what I was thinking about at all when naming my son. Sure, I know that a hunter is a person who hunts for food or sport. But I wasn’t thinking that “Yeah! My son is someone who goes out and kills deer in the winter.” It was more of a name that sounded explorative, solid, a name that quite simply sounded nice.

Then I started thinking deeper. What if my son decides to be vegan and becomes repulsed by the name I gave him, even though I in no way named him after someone who hunts for food? This is what happens when you experience name remorse—it can get the best of you, make you bananas. He could always go by his middle name if he decides he doesn’t like his first name, right? His middle name is Johan, and that’s a name so many people say differently or get confused by. Have I set my kid up for name hatred of his own name?

I’ve calmed down about it--I was never really in an extreme tizzy, just a tornado of thought. I snapped out of it and realized that Hunter was a great name, a name that makes me think of green, my favorite color and his. Most of all, to me, the name Hunter means that blue-eyed boy that I was blessed to call my son. That is the best meaning of all.

This story is meant to reflect individual contributors' experiences and does not necessarily reflect What to Expect's point of view. This content is not intended to be used as medical advice, for diagnosis, or treatment.