Mordesh Fairy Tales

So in another thread in another forum Blue Tunic Man wrote the Mordesh story of Little Red Riding Hood:

"And so little green radioactive girl ran down the forest, as happy as her empathy module would allow her to until the big, bad wolf stopped her and demanded half of her goodies to pass this bridge. Little green radioactive girl had no time for his foolishness and instantly disintergrated him in a pile of hazardous green goo!'

Mad scientist Mord turns the page of his book, showing a picture of what he just described to his young ward who was sitting there, visibly scarred from the scene.

"Silly talking Lycanthrope," Little Green Radioactive Girl said through her voice modulator, bubbles furiously forming in her head tank. "I have no time for your insolence, my grandmother needs me! May this be a lesson to all of your feeble-brained kind!" Before she started skipping happily through the sludge fields with her small barrel of goodies."

Click to expand...

I wants to hear more fairy tales!

Like Mordesh version of The Three Little Pigs!

"Once upon a point of a chronological locus there were three little rowsdowers."

"The three little rowsdowers were without a place of permanent residence for their laboratory. Being industrious rowsdowers, they endeavored to construct their places of solace and research from available materials. Less the Dominion atomize their flesh and draken use their wooly coats for apparel."

"The first rowsdower constructed his home from ploy-carbonite stress fibers with an internal matrix consisting of forty-three carbon atoms per injected silicon contaminate. The other rowsdowers pointed and laughed for they did not find it structurally significant nor sound. The Dominion came to the first rowsdower's lab, saying they would blast and blaze and burn his lab to the ground! To which the first rowsdower replied 'Not by the hair of my lower facial anatomy!'. So the Dominion vaporized him into subatomic particulates that were quite vicarious when stepped on."

"The second rowsdower constructed his laboratory of thermal-treated neutronium and found it quite sound. The Dominion came to his lab, saying they would blast and blaze and burn his lab to the ground! To which the second rowsdower replied, 'Not by the fractal force way of my disintegrator matrix!'. Unfortuantely, the second rowsdower discovered that thermal-treated neutronium was not strong enough to contain the quantum feed back from the disintegrator matrix."

"The third rowsdower constructed his laboratory out of pure mordbonium, the strongest substance he could devise. The Dominion came, saying they would blast and blaze and burn his lab to the ground! To which the third rowsdower did not reply. The Dominion blasted and burned and blazed away for hours upon hours until their powercells were drained, making quite the noise and fuss. Yet the third rowsdower did not notice for morbonium, aside from its strength, is known for its acoustic dampening properties. He worked away happily in his lab."

"Meanwhile the Dominion were unable to get in. Eventually the chua weapon engineers became bored of being unable to break into the lab or reduce anything to colorful slush. So they turned their quantum phase deorganifiers upon their draken and cassian allies out of boredom."

- Victor Lazarin - The serious scientist does not allow sentiment to seep into his study. If a subject is infected, he simply and carefully slices the tumor free from the patient, freeing the rest of the organism from having to suffer its delusions of grandeur in the name of prophetic destiny.

"There once was a graduate researcher who grew bored as he recorded the efficacy measurements of the Phase I test of an experimental strain of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis in efforts to earn his third PhD. As the captives disgorged their last spout of effluvium, the GRA chose to amuse himself. With a great fine tuning of the decibel volumetrics on his vocabulator, the technology passing for his voice cried out "Draken! Draken! The Draken are here for the data!"

The senior scientists came running down the halls to help defend (or destroy) the data, detain (or destroy) the Draken, and bury the corpse of the GRA. But upon arrival, they found no Draken. The GRA's voice replication module replayed a mirthful mp3 file."

"GRA," the scientists droned. "Do not cry Draken without positive evidence of such. Delay your warning until certain, such as when the savages have begun savoring your entrails." They silently stalked back to their projects.

Later, the GRA rung the alarm again. "Draken, Draken! The Draken are here for the data!" To his naughty delight, the scientists again ran to the student's aid. And again, they said "Save the alarm for when something is truly at issue." The scientists muttered to themselves behind the team lead, and the GRA's voice moduled tittered irritatingly with a recording of a flighty Aurin child at play.

At night, as the GRA prepared to return to his rest receptacle, he saw a team of Draken prowling the darkened hallways. Frightened, he cried "Draken! Draken!" He ran to the alarm, and threw the switch.

An explosion brightened the cloudless night sky. A few miles away, the team lead watched in satisfaction as a mushroom cloud blossomed above the horizon. Idly, he patted a portable drive to which he uploaded the most promising projects the team had begun working on.

"We'll sweep the environs for survivors shortly. Nobody likes a liar...Especially one that survives reprisal."

Jack be Nimble
Jack be nimble
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The quantumflux micro-regulator.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and was sucked into the regulator.

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a warp containment wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Exile's Aurin and all the Exile's men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again... because he shattered his cranial case... just like you will if you don't stop jumping on your bed!!

Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on an tiny stool
Eating her coolant and formaldehyde;
When along came a giant arachnid,
Who sat down beside her setted figure
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Hush, Little Baby- as retold by a Mordesh and an Aurin
Hush, little Mordesh, don't vocalize... *twitches*
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you an a repeating avian... Seriously?? Who wants one of those with a screaming baby around??
And if that repeating avian won't vocalize harmonious sounds
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you compressed coal mounted on a band of gold... are you stupid!? Who gives an infant such an item?
And if that compressed coal on gold turns into brass,
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you a looking glass... first of all gold does not turn into brass, and what use would a baby have for a looking glass?
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you a rowsdowser... Because who doesn't want their baby stomped to death...
And if that rowsdowser won't pull,
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you a salvage barge and tow... *facepalm*
And if that salvage barge explodes,
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you a large canine named Kodes... wouldn't you need a new baby first..?
And if that large canine won't make aggressive vocal sounds,
Female Parental Unit is going to buy you a hover board... because obviously we didn't learn from the last fiery explosion!
And if that hover board goes down,
You'll still be the sweetest little Mordesh progeny in Nexus town... and this is why Mordesh shouldn't have children!! *throws up hands and stomps off*