Pure Slander: The Funniest Quotes From Big Ghostfase’s ‘NWTS’ Review

Best Of Big Ghostfase's Drake Review

By this time, we're all familiar with the writings of one Big Ghostfase. He's not the rapper Ghostface Killah, just some hilarious impersonator. One thing he likes to do is review Drake albums with tons of slander. We definitely recommend you going over to his page to peep the whole review, but if you're feeling lazy, we grabbed some of the best quotes for you to laugh at.
Enjoy!

"We talmbout a dude who done made songs so moist they could tenderize a steak if you left it in front of the speaker… Songs that could hydrate ya skin n cleanse ya pores n shit… Songs that could make swans appear at ya doorstep… Ish that could pasteurize milk. But yall guessed it…its the AJ Soprano of rap hisself…the 2013 Chandler Bing…the Human Rollerblade…Drizzy Drake."

On "Tuscan Leather" - Aight so this ish starts out soundin like the music from a movie trailer for a quirky romantic comedy that got quirky white folk like Zooey Deschanel or muthaf****n somebody somebody Wilson or some ish in it exchangin witty dialog between theyselves while tryin to save whales n drink warm soy beverages or whatever cuz I never really actually seen none of them f****n movies ever but thats jus what this isn reminds me of.

On "Furthest Thing" - This the n*** that fans his eyes when he cries spittin on this track…n what you expect him to do other than talk bout his imperfections while he simultaneously brags n takes shots at the imaginary chick he pourin his heart out to on this ish over some somber emo type music

On "Started From The Bottom" - No wonder sons most loyal hardcore diehard fans hated this ish b…the ish barely got any melodies or nothin. Drizzy stans wanted the ni**a who could make em cry til they get the hiccups…n this started from the bottom isht wasn't cuttin it b. His female fans hated it cuz like wtf is this ish a rap song or sumn?

On "Wu-Tang Forever" - That ish is like Michael Buble makin a song called Appetite For Destruction that samples Welcome To The Jungle or some ish…n the ish is a ballad.

On "Own It" - Only a dude who would walk into a McDonalds n ask for a salad wit lightly steamed carrots n a venti Sprite could make a song this light in the a**.

On "Worst Behaviour" - This ish sound like when your computer crash n you restart the muthaf***a n restore the previous session n you got like 3 tabs wit youtube videos open n they all start playin at the same time n ish

On "From Time" - Basically if you ever messed wit dude its only a matter of time before son puts ya whole ish out there n have distraught 12 year old girls from every corner of twitter all in ya mentions talmbout U SO UGLY NE WAY I KNO Y DRAKE AINT F*** WIT U EVA AGIN B****. You foul Drake.

On "Hold On We're Going Home" - I always use to say Drake really needs to stick wit rappin cuz it ain't like the n**** a gifted singer or nothin like that. But he might coulda found his zone right here cuz the song works even for a dude wit limited range as a singer namsayin.

On "Connect" - The 3rd verse is jus the worlds most pointless story bout how he usin his uncles car for like the third time on the album to go see a girl n had to stop for gas. The n**** even gave us directions in his bars like we tryin to go see her too. This ish ain't really got no purpose in existing yo.

On "The Language" - I'mma never understand why this dude talks bout other n**** bein jealous of him so much tho… but Im almost startin to not notice when he doin it. Its like son…why you clingin to all this bitterness for? Let go of all the angst n ish b… Jus enjoy ya life or whatever.

On "Too Much" - Anyways this definitely one of the best songs on the album regardless of the feelings bein caught on it.