16 Answers

I suppose that depends on how old they are now and how mature they were then. In general, if the vast majority people I knew at 14 still acted the same way, I’d consider them rather immature. Though there were a couple exceptions.

One of my friends from high school was like that. We met because we were both really into a lot of the same things, like art, culture, music, and movies. We became very close and then I started noticing that she played her friends off against each other to keep herself on top of the heap. I think she was scared that if she wasn’t in charge, nobody would want to be around her. If she noticed two of her friends striking up a friendship, she would tell each of them that the other was badmouthing them, didn’t really like them, etc. We grew further and further apart, and now we’re 22 and her two closest friends are 16, and all three of them seem very distrustful of each other at times and very close at other times. It just makes me sad.

When we’re teenagers we can be pretty self-absorbed and selfish. Looking back at myself at that age, I can’t believe some of the stuff I got away with doing and saying. Most of us grow out of it.

Also…you can’t pick one random thing a person does and say ‘I did this when I was fourteen, and I still do it at 30 so does that make me immature?’. There is a whole personality type and whole set of things that people do at different ages that determine maturity. We would have to know a certain individual very well to answer this type of question.

Usually I’d say they were acting immature. None of my friends were mature at 14 so if they were still acting that way I’d be rather embarrassed for them! But like other’s have said before, if they were overly mature for their age at 14 they may be at the maturity level they should be. I suppose you’d have to look at how their behavior makes you feel. Do you feel like they’re being immature? or do you feel they’re acting the way you do as well (that is if you are at a mature level for your age)?

DominicX This is about my uncle, but I didn’t want it to be subjective. He’s 45, & is extremely intelligent. When he lost his job, he laughed it off & said “at least I get a long vacation!”. My mom (his older sister) thinks he’s immature for this. I admire him for being able to keep his cool. She said he did the same thing when he was my niece’s age.

@Draconess25 I think it seems like you’re uncle’s personality is more laid back. I think that attitude would only be immature if he wasn’t trying to find a new job or something. But if he’s just keeping his cool about everything I don’t necessarily see that as being immature. But, that’s just my opinion/

It depends on the individual. Like you said some kids are quite mature and capable at 14.
As per your Uncle and Mom that just seems like some sibling rivalry that goes back way before you were born. I wouldn’t try to make sense of it or take sides. Best just to remain objective. Their dynamic will be what it is.