Monday, August 22, 2005

Went to Month of Hungry Ghost Festival auction

Last night, Ah Seng invited me to go for the Hungry Ghost auction. I long time never go for one already. He was there as helper. Better than having no job and nothing to do. He every year also got help do this thing anyway.

Computer Boy Lawrence (CB Lawrence hahaha!!) went to Batam with his friends for a fucking weekend. These few days he quite sian, so need to find some way to forget his problem. He told me his company a lot of his old friend left or kena retrench already, especially the Singaporean. Below him all the junior is now from India and on top of him, all the senior is ang moh. He said, I feel like a Singapore hamburger, kena fuck by overseas ah neh in the backside, and kena suck ang moh cock in front. Soon even me also will have no job, kena replace by cheaper PRC, KNNBCCB, he said.

So he said he at work already kena fuck, so might as well go and find girl to fuck on weekend. I hope he got bring his safety belt. Actually I already told Lawrence Seventh Month don't go oversea. Swimming and going oversea is not good idea during the Hungry Ghost month. Not say I pan tang, but better to don't try your luck. You see the Kallang river, every year swallow people. And I heard also got people die in Australia this year. Hungry Ghost month don't fucking play play.

I didn't know he so sian at work. I thought computer line quite ok one. But Lawrence said nowadays what fucking line also not good, except working as gahmen. Last time another good line was NKF charity line, but even that one also now not good job liao, and NKF not only kena whole world condemn them, but I heard now got CAD (the office worker police) play their backside.

Lawrence said he got two choice. Upgrade himself or do illegal pirate business. Go Malaysia get the computer cd cheap cheap, come here and sell. But he saw the three fella kena caught for pirating song so he a bit scared. Like the police don't have murderer or robber to catch, now very free catch the download song people. What the fuck man.

He want to migrate but he said a few of his friends go oversea, same problem, no job. There worse, here in Singapore the ang moh is king, there in other country the ang moh is king and citizen, and they not like Singapore, they give chance to their citizen first.

What thing also he can sell. The thing all look like cheap thing, but people still bid high high. Got gold got frog got charcoal. All is got good luck type. Cheebye man, if I got money I also buy, who don't need good luck in life, right?

But this year like quieter. People don't bid so high like last time. Not as many getai, auction or wayang. The cheebye president election wayang (dong dong chiang!!!) is not counted, ok, hahahaha!!!

Must be economy is like shit. I dunno how the gahmen can count the growth and say what 4% or 5%. The only thing I see growing is my lan cheow and the price of everything.

Where got 5%? Got!

GST is 5% lor, cheebye! You see the car COE you already know. Low until cannot low. And the Hungry Ghost festival getai and show is all smaller.

Raymond said to me, you know why this year got less auction? Because this year NKF not involve! They too busy let CAD play their kar chng hahaha!!!

Around the auction place is the HDB car park. Many of the car that is park there tonight is the people who come for the auction show one. I can see around 9pm onwards, got some car look like the driver live here one, trying to find their parking lot but all full house. Round and round cannot find. Must be damn toolan for them, pui chow nua. I also no choice, I park until quite far away, the car park is next to some grass land and a big old tree, and the street light not working, a bit dark dark.

A lot of us who park there never put coupon. Because Sunday free, no need to pay. After 10pm then is season parking only. Somemore later if the auntie come we can see and run to our car to drive away.

The place got a lot of smoke. Dunno is it because they burning the joss stick and hell money paper, or is it the Indonesia that side the fire send us the haze.

Nabei, every chow chee bye year the Indonesia side burn the tree, because it is cheap way of make the land good for farming. Every chow chee bye year the Indonesia gahmen act blur, because the Malaysia and Indonesia fucker businessman bribe them to act blur. In the end every chow chee bye year the whole KL and Singapore sky all kena this haze, make people sick, and make me cannot go KL to chiong. Fuck their mothercheebye for this chow chee bye burning. Should lock this dirty businessman inside one house and let them smell their own smoke until they die. Cheebye.

My table also got a few other people. One of them is a hawker, his name is Tua Tow, because his head very big. He say his name is David. I was thinking sound like that singer David Tao, but this one is David the Tua Tow hahahaha!!!

Tua Tow mother was a famous hawker.

We were complaining about how come thing in Singapore getting more and more expensive and harder and harder to survive.

I said to Tua Tow, eh, nowadays the hawker and coffee shop food also getting more expensive liao, cannot even find the $1.50 or $2 price anymore. Why liddat?

He said bo pian. Want to charge less also cannot. Last time my mother is the hawker, the market stall rental is less than $700 one month, Tua Tow said. Now the market kena upgrade to nice nice by Gahmen, the rental go up also. KNNCCB, he said, how to survive? My mother die that time, the Gahmen offer me because I am the son to take over the place, but the rental jump until $2000 plus almost $3000. I don't make the price of my food more expensive, I cannot continue do this line.

Tua Tow said, you just wait lor. Next time no more cheap market food liao. When all the old hawker die, the CCB gahmen will up the rent and your char kuay teow will not be $2 liao.

The auction show run until very late. 11pm still the fella shouting into the microphone $128! $388! $888!!!

Suddenly got one guy shout, Nabei! Auntie lai liao!!!!

This mean the parking auntie come and check, so we all get up and run like siao lang to our car to drive away before they can summon us and give us ang pow. Wa lao eh, the new parking aunties who is private company one now is so fucking on the ball, must be their commission is better.

The two parking auntie that come still is booking the cars in front, so I think good, haven't reach me yet. My baobei car is park inside quite far. But very funny, I walk like walk very long time and never reach my car. Dunno how come. I remember I walk from my car to the auction show that time, feels like only 3 minute. Now the parking auntie come, and I try to go my car, is like more than 15 minute walk.

After a long long time, I can see my car liao. Park next to the broken lamp post, at the grassland there. Cheebye! I saw one auntie standing there going to give me ticket. How I know they send so many auntie come and book people?

I don't understand how come, but this auntie the uniform is not the same as the auntie I saw just now. This auntie is like wearing old parking auntie uniform, not the new private company uniform one. I cannot see her face, maybe because quite dark and I standing a few cars away.

Then I also saw she not using those mini computer to print my ticket, but using the old paper and pen style. I didn't know they still using this kind of parking ticket leh.

I want to go and talk to her and ask to give chance one, but I think nowadays they don't give chance one, somemore she already write her ticket. Aiyah let her book lah. KNNBCCB. So I turn to walk back to join my friends.

When I walking away, I suddenly smell the franjeepenny flower smell and also like heard my name kena call. Rockson... Rockson...

I thought maybe is the wind or Ah Seng is calling me (but cannot be, is a woman voice leh). Anyway I walk back to the auction show. The walk also seem like long time, like 15 minutes like that. Walk walk walk. Like neverending.

When I reach back, Raymond saw me and said wah so fast come back ah?

I look at him and said No what, I go quite long what, dunno why the walk like so far. And somemore KNN kena orh gong by the parking auntie wearing the old uniform one and using old style paper summon.

Raymond look at me funny and said, you kena summon meh?

Ya! Fuck man, I said.

Raymond look at me funny again and said, cannot be what. The two auntie just now came until the first few car, then we all run out that time, they stand there a while, and then go away liao. The two of them never walk to your car that side, you know? So how can you kena summon?

Got kena! I said. Must be a third auntie her minah friend lah!

Raymond said eh, you must be seeing things lah. This car park only got one way in, and we all only saw two auntie come and then go, never go your side. Don't have third auntie lah! And where got auntie now use paper summon one!

I look at him, he look at me.

Want to take taxi? I ask him.

Ya, your car tomorrow morning then come and get lah, Raymond said.

I also say.

So we tell Ah Seng bye bye, and tell Tua Tow good luck his food stall business, and walk very fast to the main road to call taxi.

When I reach home that time, is already about 11.45pm. I walk past my neighbour house and heard their tv got Channel News Asia talking about Small Lee's National Day speech. Must be that time I was at the auction they show the speech one. Never mind, next few days sure got fucking repeat and repeat and repeat.

Ni na bei chee bye oi! At this time of the month, you better not anyhow curse anybody u like. You may not know if they are human beings or 'the others'...Wait u kena 'tua lam pah' then u know. Not only ur lan cheow 'horse' BIG, but ur fucking balls olso grow big-big...hahahaha!

I got one story to tell you all. lehh. Last time, I worked as a delivery driver. My fren told me, one day while he was driving his van along TPE after midnite (beside 1 empty land where they always burnt the paper house lah, paper plane lah.etc), suddenly, he saw 1 'paper mercedes' drove past by him.

Nabeii chee bye, he got shocked & olmost hit his fucking brake that time. He olso saw the fucking 'ahmad driver' with the songkok and the passenger behind. Next day, he mc kena high fever. But he went to see the malay bomoh, who said he kena 'sampok the hantu cina', sial! Pukimak punya samdol! B'cos of him I 'kena' cover his duties for that 1 week. And this one is a true story lehh...

So u all better be careful. Regardless ur race, language or religion, as long you are a Singapore citizen, if the ghost not happy with you, they sure kacau u, one..lu mai siow-siow, ok.

You heng ah, manage to siam that little clown lee talking cock on national tv last night. CB come home yesterday all channels hear him talk cock like dunno wat, knn i fed up go for a jog. Good lah, keep fit also, better then listen to little ah gua lee can get high blood pressure!

Rockson, you must go watch The Maid and Perth: The Geylang Massacre. When we watched the latter, we wanted to shout in the cinema: "Hey Rockson, are you here, man?" It's your kinda of movie. Give your support, man.

HAHAHAHA....i have never read childish blogs before until i was so fucking bored that my firend ask me to read this shit, but anyway, after reading one sentence i thought is quite intersting cos no one can make me laugh until stomach pain for a long time, so i read all the stories u wrote, suddenly i feel that, no one in this world can be funnier than me except u dude !!! well done!!! i am even eager to leave u a comment eventhough i find blog childish but not from today anymore......U are fucking the funniest guy ( at the moment i come across of ), even better than jack neo team and gurtmit sighn...(dun know how to spell lah!). Keep up the good work. As for those who thinks that Rockson is a dumb ass fuck...FUCK YOU ALL !!! u guys are the ones who are dumb and need to get fuck in the ass.hahahaha!!! keep your stories updated dude, they are good stuff and not shitssss........

CHEEBYE !!! i was reading other ppl's blog, fucking boring...all talk abt the same story fucking love and heartbroken....can u gals get some life, think i will only stick to rockson's blog lah, only his stories are worth reading...

eh rockson.. u wrong la.. now that parking auntie not so on the ball liao. Last time i park nv put coupon very fast kena summon muz go pay fine. Now i can park nv put coupon sit long long at the kopitiam la kopi a few hours also no auntie come. This private company type, all buay onz one. Or they not like gahmen so much money, nv employ as many aunties, so not enough to go around giving summon lor.

the old uniform reminds me of another true story (I think your story is made up 1)... last time i airline girl and my close fren a japanese crew told me one time she was in the rest cabin, saw a "girl" sitting on the bunk wearing the old uniform (company just only change to new crew uniform)... some more my fren could describe the face and how the hair was bunned up.... my fren was flying to LA... on the same aircraft and same flight to LA one flight ago, one cabin crew died when she was flung out of the door (as she was holding onto the handle, the outside ground staff opened it and swang it out thus pulling her along and she fell to the ground at least a story high and died)... my fren knew all these because on that plane, that dead stewardess parents were on board to LA to claim the body.... creepy hor

But i very very scared whole year ghost sucking people blood. Asking people money wah..Lau behsai chow. MRT there got, here got like sporean chak beh leow. Big pay big stomach. CB..CB..NBCB.. inside stomach all air no money to makan puiii. No place to work lagi. Become ghost lagi better makan got free be happy ghost.

I was thinking, why gahment post also no auction, if got sure ghost also happy, burning money for MP's. Burning Merc for Durai. I bit a post for Rockson.

I also think got said inside TV one, Sporean must change, but think think i think Gahmen must change one, not people change. I'm not anti gahmen mah, but I'm opposition every country got oppposition mah, then country got challenge one.

But sometimes also scared want to give idea, gahmen no listen always want to summon and summon, must listen to the old only.

My cousin just come back from malacca last weekend visiting relatives. In M'sia, they don't have bins to burn joss paper like those HDB provide. Just burn on the ground, and they really burn plenty one. Anyway, her family drove back to their kampung after dinner and on the way saw people burning joss paper offerings by the roadside.

Suddenly, her sister's 4-mth old baby started to cry very loudly. She stopped crying only when they passed the stretch where people were burning joss paper. The old folks in their car say must be baby saw those things. This is especially so when they are waiting to grab the things being burnt for them.

I think that was BM,not ghost ..she last time work in URA mah, and she like to wear uniform.maybe she was there to beoh ur car, want to spray paint on it ...u see lah ,my mama say "Boyyyy,next time grow up liao , dont offend woman ok ."

What CB Lawrence face is what many Sillyporeans are facing today. Fucking companies here are now addicted to employ foreign workers and many sillyporeans especially those above 40 their jobs are at high risk. Somemore our PM wants us to improve service culture when very soon sillyporeans may not even have a job in the service sector. So change what chee bye attitude. He sure can talk cock hor.

Actually hor, you very clever go see hungry ghost auction instead of listening to Small Lee talk cock. 65 year clean toilet, must be 95 year still must work as summons auntie. Die also cannot rest, si bor si HDB loan also must finish pay.

It's not PRC people taking your jobs.It's you losing a battle in making a life.PRC also want good life, so we try our best. You better shut up your mouth when talking those racist like garbbages.Yes, you should be protected by your government some while facing the global competition. But it's not fair to curse our PRC grabbing your job. Anyway, we are not able to be here without your globalization policies. You want to enjoy the profit in globalization? Then you have to win the competition in this movement. Ok you bark at your "garhmen", but don't bark at other foreigners.

ya PRC do need good life...but I think they should go and pray to their god (shen) so that when they die they continue to have good life by going to heaven. Alternatively they should all die off so that they can have a good life immediately...anonymous PRC, u better shut up, know your fucking limit in a foreign country!!knnbcbb

It's because the garmen so stupid that's why you can come over here to snatch our jobs. You people are losers. Always wanted to go to America or Europe, right? Then when they reject you, you check if Australia wants you, if still no doors opened, then you come to Singapore.

BE GRATEFUL that our stooooopid garmen decided to let you in instead of living in your pathetic filthy Chinese cities or villages. Shut your mouth up! ('x')

Have you ever thinked about why your hawker in Singapore can earn 2000+ sgd per month and those in China/India only make 200+ sgd per month? While so many Singaporean could travel abroad once per year or two, most PRC/Indian can't. Why this is happening, although the people are doing the same job?

If you think it's what you deserve, WRONG! Let me tell you the truth: It's because your government knows how to keep your industry in leading position globally. IT, BioChem, Medicine, Telcom and Logistics these are the profit making industry that make you Singaporean so rich! Those comanies earn money from other contries. You hawkers are just receiving part of the profit from them. So you see the picture now?Your government are trying its best to keep those high profit industry competitive against other developing contries. That's why they need foreign talents to research and develop those high-end techniques. That's why we are here!Isn't it funny that we foreigner understand your "garhmen" better then you, sgrean? Acctually, I know you are not the true sgrean as most I've meet... You are not open and brave as others.

aiya why blame PRCs leh? it's the fcuking gahmen who is killing sgians! They are the ones who make it so easy for any cat and dog to get work permit. CCB Sgians have to serve NS and go for ICT to protect all these PRs and fallen-ners!

wa lao.. u so sway? better go pray pray.. but the ending.. eh.. not to suan u la.. but damn funny sia..hahahaha... u went back take ur keys? see anythinG? wad happened in the end? post in ur next blog leh.. haha.. :>

Rockson: Really enjoyed your post as usual. And great twist at the end =D

Disgruntled Singaporeans:There's really no need to curse at the asian foreigners working in SG. I do agree that SOME of the caucasian expats are fucking over-rated but the asians are just here working hard for their future. Not fucking around with stupid asian chicks that ONLY like white skinned men. Or taking jobs that they'd NEVER have a chance of doing back in their home country cos they're really just not good enough.

You people who blame the asian expats for taking the blue collar/no collar jobs are just pathetic. Look at yourself and think if you'd take the kind of pay they get for the jobs they're doing. They don't get CPF for one. Even the engineers... if you can't beat them in the tech skills then learn some fucking management skills. And stop whining.

Shut your Fckuing CB mouth la! KNN Fcking KPKB you know, CCB! I think Roxson blog too often liao, his blog is like imperial cuisine, must sample only once in a while, eat too often become peasant fare liao. So DON'T BLOG SO OFTEN OK?

rockson baby yeah! thats was motherfucking funny man. bwhahahahhahahaha. maybe one day we go i buy u beer then we drink drink get drunk and some chiobu come suck our schlong man! yeah! cheebye haze...kill all the indo batsards esp that fugly bitch who ran off to some U.S. uni! bwhahahahahhahahahahahhahaha

i read 2 paragraphs into your post and cant help but feel agitated by your constant swearing thinking you're so funny. perhaps in between the cusses there *might* be something slightly intellectual but wow that is a whole lot of weeding through.

rockson ah...ur posts getting lamer and lamer...not very funny liao...what happen to you man...if those people who followed ur blog since u started will realise this also. So people who thinks this is funny didn't actually followed it yet, and for those pple who make plain useless and stupid comments here....FUCK off use your brain before u type...hope ur next posts more creative

Aiyah if some of you don't like to read my favourite blogger's spot then don't log in lor, so simple. He doing this for free and he doesn't owe you a living you know. Hiam sar hiam see... want to talk so much about style and being proper then start your own Blog lor. Really buay tahan those who are so self righteous. So typical 'think yourself so up' type. Hey Rockson, mai kuan ee lang ok. Sia what you want, meh chow oueh as you like, mai chup the atas how lian comments.

A blog is for ppl to write what they feel or did for that day...you all thought Rockson is some entertainer or clown ar? Go mix with bengs or buy Lau Fu Zi if you want to laugh loh...or just wait for his update la..