Daily Archives: June 16, 2017

Whitney and I have been living together for over 4 months now and one thing I learned pretty quick is that this girl loves her some Elton John. So this quick ode goes out to my sweet Whitney who turned a quarter of a century yesterday. It won’t make much sense to anyone but Whitney and it may not even make sense to her, so excuse this bit of nonsense and Happy Birthday, Whitney!

Goodbye Whitney of Old
(to the tune of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”)

So you think that you’re getting old?
You’re still only twenty-five
You still have time to party
Still lots of time to jive

You know there’s still lots to binge
Lots of movies to see
I need you to see me through all of this viewing
You’re just too young to be singing the aging blues

So goodbye Whitney of old
Where Simba was your main man
There’s got to be someone who’s better
A Marvel Chris or a Dan

Back to the yowling Brendans in jungles
Powerline fans who love Roxannes
I think you’ll finally find your future lies
Beyond the Whitney of old

Look at how much you’ve changed now
You watch Brits who bake pavlovas
The girl who hates those Hallmark movies
Has suddenly found the love

You even like dragons and imps now
Jon Snows and Starks and Hounds
Okay so that doesn’t sound all that grown up
But I had to incorporate Thrones somehow

So goodbye Whitney of old
Where Simba was your main man
There’s got to be someone who’s better
A Marvel Chris or a Dan

Back to the yowling Brendans in jungles
Powerline fans who love Roxannes
I think you’ll finally find your future lies
Beyond the Whitney of old.