Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and most likely will never
own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil
corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to
borrow them for a bit, k?

Kaoru was bored out of her mind. She had clambered out of bed that
morning to discover that her one and only student had gone off to the
Akabeko to "work" (which these days was synonymous with
"flirting with Tsubame"), Sano was off losing all his money
under the pretence of gambling, and Kenshin had gone off to the
market to buy vegetables.

Slipping into her training clothes, she had made an effort to work
off her boredom by practising, but without Yahiko's ever-present
taunts, she simply wasn't in the mood. She dragged herself around the
house and dojo for a while, idly inspecting the woodwork, or studying
the faint patterns in the shoji doors before finally coming upon some
drying laundry.

Her otherwise unoccupied mind processed the fact that Kenshin must
have done the washing fairly early for most of it to be dry by now,
but since this was of only academic interest she promptly discarded
this and started fingering his gi.

Under her fingers, she could feel the various patches that had
been sewn onto the abused garment over the years. She was impressed
that Kenshin had done such a good job of not only making the
innumerable repairs hard to see, but actually managing to find
matching fabric.

Kaoru giggled as she recalled Kenshin's adamant defence of his
choice in clothing. "It is magenta," he would
claim. "Sessha does not wear pink de gozaru yo." For a man
who seemed to think nothing of sleeping outside, doing household
chores, and rolling around in the mud playing with children, he was
surprisingly sensitive about the colour of his gi.

She pulled the gi from the line and began running her hands
through the soft fabric. It wasn't the nicest fabric she had ever
seen, but after its many years of use it had developed that distinct
"favourite old clothes" feel that only comes with age and
constant, repeated abuse.

As she ran her hands through the brightly coloured garment, she
idly began thinking how much nicer it would've been if Kenshin had
been wearing it. Blushing, she held the gi to her chest and wondered
where that had come from.

It'd be even better if he was in it right now…

She held Kenshin's gi out in front of her and glared at it. Apart
from the hair, the cross-shaped scar and his sword, the gi was
something of a trademark of Kenshin's. Maybe that's why she was
thinking of him so much. Little did she realise that at that very
moment, Kenshin was watching her in rapt fascination…

He had returned from the market laden with tofu and miso,
carefully setting them down in the kitchen, and had gone out in
search of Kaoru when he found her hugging his gi. He felt a bit silly
peeking out from around the corner like a recently scolded child, but
he couldn't help but wonder why she was clutching his favourite gi to
her chest.

Despite Kenshin's almost fanatical devotion to the laundry, the
thing only got washed about once a week. Today he was wearing his
other gi, which was older, even tattier, but a rather attractive
shade of dark blue. Kaoru had once commented that it made him look a
little more… masculine, but it was so close to simply falling apart
he didn't particularly care.

He suddenly noticed Kaoru holding his gi out in front of her, and
she seemed almost angry at it for a moment before she blushed,
giggled, and ran off towards the house. Craning his neck around the
corner he watched as she looked suspiciously from side to side before
ducking into her room and shut the shoji.

'OK, this is weird. What is she going to do with my gi?' he
wondered, raising an eyebrow. He then remembered the various
occasions where Kaoru had suggested he get a new gi. "This one's
falling apart!" she would exclaim. "You should just throw
it away and get a nice new one… maybe even one that isn't
pink."

He had of course vehemently denied wearing anything pink,
asserting that his gi was quite clearly magenta. However, at
the moment he was more worried about what Kaoru would be doing with
his gi within the confines of her room.

"Masaka…" he muttered under his breath. Kaoru had
sometimes told him that she'd always wanted a nice pink ribbon…

Uncontrollable fear for his beloved gi took over as he stealthily
made his way to Kaoru's room. With the stealth of a cat, and the
gnawing terror of a two year old in a thunderstorm, he listened for
the sounds of a defenceless gi being hacked to bits.

He heard the sound of fabric rustling inside, but no scissors
cutting material. Then he heard her giggle. Was he already too late!
Gripping the side of the shoji door, he pulled it open in a desperate
attempt to save his clothing…

Of course, Kaoru had never even considered cutting up his gi.
While old, tatty, and quite possibly the worst colour an ex-assassin
could have chosen, she knew it was (for reasons beyond her
understanding) dear to Kenshin. Instead, she'd suddenly remembered
all the times that Kenshin had been mistaken for a girl, and
off-handedly wondered if a girl could be mistaken for Kenshin.

She blushed as she realized that she was considering playing dress
up with Kenshin's clothes. Of course, she didn't have red hair or a
distinctive cross-shaped scar, but she was awfully bored,
and she would be sure to get a laugh out of it. Her mind made up, she
rushed off to her room, giggling in a manner not becoming of a
shihondai.

She quickly removed her gi and hakama, and pulled on Kenshin's. It
was, unsurprisingly, a little too big for her. The sleeves hid her
hands completely, and the excess from their difference in height
pooled onto the floor. Undeterred, she pulled her hakama back on, and
tied the sleeves back slightly with some string. She then messed up
her bangs (for a more authentic look), and retied her ponytail down
low at the base of her head. Satisfied, she looked in the mirror and
once more giggled to herself.

Suddenly, the shoji door slid open to reveal a very
distraught-looking Kenshin.

Kaoru wasn't sure if she should be furious that he barged into her
room, or thoroughly embarrassed to be caught wearing his clothes.

A cicada chirped in the yard.

The look of shock on Kenshin's face slowly gave way to an
impassive, impossible to read mask. He slowly walked up to a still
shocked Kaoru, then stood looking her up and down for a moment before
he finally pulled his Sakabatou from his obi.

"Here," he said as he offered the sword to her, "Sessha
thinks the outfit is not complete without this de gozaru."

Still surprised that he wasn't upset with her, she gingerly took
the proffered sword and slid it into her obi. Kenshin's mask gave way
to his customary smile as he turned her shoulders to look at herself
in the mirror.

"Much better, but there's still one more thing missing…"

He walked to her writing desk and came back with a brush and
inkwell. Motioning her to sit on the floor, he dipped the brush in
the ink and bought it to her face.

"Kenshin… what are you doing?" she asked the now
(evilly?) grinning rurouni.

"Oh, just completing the effect de gozaru. Shinpainai,
Kaoru-dono." With that, he drew the brush carefully across her
left cheek in two smooth strokes, before putting the brush and ink
back on the desk.

Kaoru stood up and looked in the mirror. If you ignored the colour
of her eyes and her hair colour, she was now a dead ringer for
Kenshin; complete with Sakabatou, pink gi and cross-shaped scar.

She turned to Kenshin with a wide smile on her face. "Well,
what do you think Kenshin-dono, de gozaru ka?" With that, they
both burst into laughter at the sheer silliness of the whole thing,
Kenshin closing his eyes and holding his stomach. She felt like an
idiot, but seeing Kenshin laugh was well worth it.

When she finally managed to stifle her laughter, she looked at
Kenshin, and broke into a wide, and very evil grin. "Ne,
Kenshin?"

"Hai, Kaoru-dono?"

"Don't you think it's a little unfair that I'm, ano, Sessha
is the only one dressed up, de gozaru ka?"

Sano never could quite get the hang of Thursdays. There was
something inexplicably difficult about Thursdays. They always seemed
to be associated with a sense of helplessness and loss, although that
was probably because he went gambling on Thursdays. And almost always
lost. Badly.

This probably explained the amount of sake he usually had on
Thursdays, not to mention why he never had any money.

On this particular Thursday, he was striding back to the dojo to
see if he could get some lunch, as was his routine. Gamble, lose,
drink, lunch. The "lose" and "drink" steps had
been done with particular gusto that day, and he was looking forward
to an equally memorable lunch.

He came up to the dojo gate and went inside. He found it odd that
he couldn't hear the almost omnipresent sound of Kaoru and Yahiko's
arguing.

He walked around the dojo towards the house to see if he could
find Kenshin and ask what was for lunch. He found him alright, but
had to blink several times to make sure his eyes weren't playing
tricks on him.

There stood Kenshin. With black hair, and what were most
definitely blue eyes. Next to him stood Kaoru, except that she had
scruffy red hair, and seemed taller somehow.

The seconds ticked by as he stared at them, his brain trying
vainly to come to terms with what he was quite clearly seeing, but
refused to believe.

Kaoru and Kenshin had not swapped clothes. Besides, the
red-head had no visible scar on his… her… their left cheek, and
the other one did. But then how do you explain the hair…

"Oro? Oh, hello there Sano. Come for lunch de gozaru ka?"
the not-quite-Kenshin asked him with what he assumed was a rurouni
smile.

"Sess… ano, I hope you haven't come to free load again,
Sanosuke!" the red-haired-Kaoru exclaimed as it waved a shinai
at him.

"I'm… er… you see…" He tried very hard to say
something, but his brain simply wanted nothing to do with his mouth
and that moment, and decided that flexing his hands was far more
amusing. He was quite certain that he had not drunk nearly enough to
be seeing this.

Kenshin and Kaoru tried desperately to hold back their laughter as
they watched their friend's miserable attempt at figuring out what
was going on.

Finally, unable to take the mental strain any more, he turned
around, and calmly walked back out to find whoever had spiked his
sake. As he left the grounds, Kenshin and Kaoru heard a distinct sob
coming from the front gate. Apparently, it all been a bit much on the
ex-street fighter.

The two cross-dressers suddenly burst once more into laughter,
collapsing to the ground holding their sides.

"Did you see the look on his face, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked
between fits of laughter.

"Aa—he looked like he was going to pass out, de gozaru!"
Kenshin managed to reply between gasps of breath.

After a while, they managed to settle down, looking at each other.
They did look thoroughly ridiculous, although the
resemblance was closer then Kenshin was really comfortable with. He
was a little upset that it had taken so little effort to make him
look like a girl.

"See," Kaoru said, interrupting his train of thought. "I
told you that make-up would hide your scar." It was true—with
enough of her make-up, Kaoru had been able to all but hide his
legendary scar, enhancing the disguise.

Kaoru had been right—this had been fun. Very silly, but good
fun. And while she would never admit it, she did like wearing his gi.
It made her feel like he was holding her, and despite its thorough
washing, it still held a trace of his ginger scent.

Kenshin meanwhile was content just to see his Kaoru's face
contorted in laughter. He felt even more stupid than usual, but it
was all worth it to see her face light up like that, and he wondered
how long he could keep her smiling like that.

For some inexplicable reason, he felt just the tiniest bit closer
to her.

Kenshin smiled once more at her with a mischievous glint in his
eyes. "Kenshin, what do you say we wait for Yahiko to get home…"
he asked her.

"Sessha would love to, de gozaru," she replied as they
walked off into the dojo together. They still had a few hours to
practice their impersonations before Yahiko got home.

Owari

Author's Note

What was I smoking… nothing life-threatening, I hope.

This isn't terribly funny unless you can get a clear mental
picture of Kaoru and Kenshin dressed up as each other. Hmm… might
have to try drawing that one of these days.

Oh well, it's short, not very funny, and riddled with holes like
heavily shotgunned Swiss cheese, but it's quelled my muse for the
moment, so I guess that's a bonus.

Incidentally, I wrote this a while back when the image popped into
my head. If there are still any spelling mistakes or formatting
problems, please feel free to blame OpenOffice for not converting the
old HTML version properly.

If anyone does end up
drawing that scene in the yard with Kenshin and Kaoru, let me
know—I'd love to see it.

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

Written: 12th May, 2005Updated:
11th September, 2005

Updated on the 11th
to fix a wee error. Move along, nothing to see here.

The Big List of Japanese Words and Wot They (Might) Mean

aa, hai: Used when in agreement with someone.

ano: "Um", "er", etc.

de gozaru —: No direct English translation, these
sentence-enders basically make what Kenshin is saying more polite.
"ne" is used as a slightly more informal version, "yo"
is used to emphasise a point, and "ka" is used when asking
a question. At least, I hope
that's what they mean...

gi: The pink robe thing Kenshin wears.

hakama: Those awesome split-dress pant things.

masaka: "It can't be!", "Impossible!".
A general statement of disbelief.

obi: The strip of fabric you tie around your waist to hold
your gi, or (if you're a girl and wearing one) your kimono in place.

oro: I could try and define this, but I won't bother. Try
watching or reading RK, and you'll pick it up pretty quickly.

owari: The end. Fin. It's over. That's all there is, there
isn't any bang

sakabatou: Kenshin's reverse blade sword.

sessha: Term used by Kenshin to refer to himself. Roughly
translates as "this unworthy one."