VIV GROSKOP: A £90 hairdo is fine, Dave - but ONLY if you're a lady

What self-respecting male puts by £90 for a haircut? The Prime Minister, apparently. Last week came the news that David Cameron’s stylist, Lino Carbosiero, was awarded an MBE in the New Year’s Honours for ‘services to hairdressing’. Services to the Treasury, more like.

Because that is quality entrepreneurship. Getting people to pay £150 a pop (Carbosiero’s price for women) to trim their fringe. Give this man a spot on The Apprentice. Actually, don’t – that’s no place for any genuine business acumen.

I love that Carbosiero fought back against accusations of cronyism: ‘I’m a bit upset because hairdressers do a lot of work that people don’t know about.’ Yes, like pouring water on to instant coffee. And putting together excellent collections of magazines. I’m joking. I love hairdressers. They are fiercely loyal. Carbosiero on why he changed Cameron’s parting from right to left: ‘What bald spot?’

David Cameron's stylist, Lino Carbosiero (right), was awarded an MBE in the New Year’s Honours for ‘services to hairdressing’. Services to the Treasury, more like

There are so many things wrong about a man having a £90 haircut at any time. (Note: man. Woman = acceptable money-waste.) But for a Prime Minister to do this while the economy was tanking? There’s nothing wrong with being thin on top. But this feels a bit thin on sense. A £90 haircut is truly the ‘kick-me’ note-on-the-back of grooming decisions.

OK, so it’s not hard to sympathise with vanity. And it’s not a crime to invest in your appearance. I pay Prime Ministerial prices to have a Cruella de Vil streak put in my hair every six weeks and personally I would nominate my long-suffering hairdresser, Premlee of Daniel Hersheson, not for some paltry MBE but for a Nobel Peace Prize.

But here’s the thing. I am allowed to be high-maintenance. I am not a public servant whose spending choices are under scrutiny. Also, last time I looked, I was a lady. The current Prime Minister is not.

RELATED ARTICLES

Share this article

Share

Of course, in theory, women should be rubbing our supposedly expensively manicured hands with glee that men in the public eye are now getting the same treatment women have endured for years. ‘Ooh, look at him with his idiot bald spot!’ ‘What a fool, he over-spends on his hairdressing.’ ‘Wow, £90 and he still looks like a potato.’

Women get this all the time. They’re ridiculed, over-analysed and picked apart until they don’t want to be in politics any more. Not that many bother giving it a try in the first place.

Last month, MP Stella Creasy was taunted for wearing the fashion equivalent of a bald spot, ‘a bright blue PVC skirt’, during a Commons debate about pornography. What a crazy lady! Imagine! Bright blue! An artificial fabric!

Last month, MP Stella Creasy was taunted for wearing the fashion equivalent of a bald spot, 'a bright blue PVC skirt', during a Commons debate about pornography

In our image-obsessed culture, evidence that the PM pays more attention to his coiffure than even Margaret Thatcher – truly Queen Elnett – is not comforting. It’s depressing. We need people in the public eye to fight back against the obsession with image, not for the Prime Minister himself to give in to it. For Cameron to fall prey to the cult of high-definition is pathetic.

It’s not as if he can blame the pressure of TV appearances. Loads of other MPs get away with spending a lot less. Eric Pickles trims his tendrils himself with recession-busting clippers. It doesn’t take long. Nick Clegg pays £20. Andrew Lansley fought back with a claim of £15: ‘I am getting my haircut cheaper than the deputy Prime Minister, which just shows you can come to the Conservatives for value for money.’ Er, not when your boss is spending £90, my friend.

The moral is simple, gentlemen: pay over the odds for your hair and your bald spot (or lack thereof) will become tittle-tattle and you will seem foolish. I’m not saying I have any intimate knowledge about the bald spot, by the way. Although I’m available to perform an inspection at any time.

It has been no surprise to discover in recent months that Charles Saatchi is not a man you would dream of marrying

It has been no surprise to discover in recent months that Charles Saatchi is not a man you would dream of marrying. What is shocking, though, is the lengths he will go to in his attempts to smear his ex-wife. Despite having had his day in court, he is still coming out with ‘revelations’ about Nigella.

This man has devoted his life to collecting beautiful things. And yet he has no taste or grace.

I don’t say this because I am #TeamNigella. I am #TeamEnoughAlready. The curtain has come down on the pantomime, Charles. Let it go. We’re all watching a different show now. It’s called The Taste and it features a woman holding her head up high while you throw mud.

The show is not that good but the woman is very beautiful and articulate. You are the only person left in the scrum, sole member of #TeamSaatchi. Go home.