Red, White, and Polyamorous

he is a gay republican. she is a wacky-quack liberal who hates liberals. and republicans. and men. and women. he loves everyone. but doesnt care about people except when they are in other countries and their rights are being trampled. they both might fail out of a very prestigious institution if they dont start studying and stop blogging to no one.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

backstreet's back

The autonomous yet polyamorous pornography masterpiece is complete!

he-j and bill r are probably in the car over it right now.

meanwhile the big M and the little p are playing cat and mouse. the cat is winning but a has face that the mouse will prevail. he is scrappy that one.

An Apology to M

P is shocked at the Big M's appearance! M, please know that The Collective would have welcomed your guest-blogging and that the hacking was utterly unnecessary. We are honored to have you on the blog. After all, even though She-J and A are on a break, P will never break from the great mission of paternalism. As HLS' second tenured female professor, we are humbled by your intellect, and terrified by your testing. A alleged that He-J said you knew nothing about 1983, but P believes in your knowledge and defended your from the evil clerk of Bill R.

She-J: "Bill R? He is not autonomous. Too much tied to white picket fences, and the ACLU. I am on a break."

He-J: "A break from intellecual legitimacy? Funny, me too!"

Thanks so much to our guestbloggers. J-Squared, it was a pleasure to have you both. Now, just be good to the Collective in the upcoming 20 hours, and we will invite you back. And accord dignity as persons as persons.

Monday, December 18, 2006

of canadians and cotton

the collective is sorry to report that it does not support its neighbor to the north. this end of the collective does not like it because it is cold and they are all very pale. plus they let the gays get married so there's really not much left to do up there anymore in terms of making fun of the crazies. the other end of the collective is distasteful of their french heritage and i suppose probably of their lack of support for george w bush, but by that logic he should probably move to lubbock and start a cessesion movement.

the canadian, however, was quite right about the cotton and polyester! it tore right through. luckily a has couch cushions that can be turned upsidedown. and as for next time, well there's always duct tape. unless the canadian has something bad to tell us about duct tape next....

Live Free, Die, and Never Have a Cell Phone

P is suddenly quite curious after the New Hampshire law enforcement community. Are they opposed to (a) the US postal service (which would be quite in line with their anti-government politics) OR; (b) technological advances such as the phone of the celluar (which would be quite in line with their redneck politics).

P is also intrigued by Q's taste for cotton/polyester blend. What is it that Q did?

Finally, P shall have the fiesta of all holiday fiestas on Wednesday. There shall be wine, cider, Janet, Jim, and (most importantly) MARTHA!

o how we writhe

a is writing about the hegemonic matrix of domination, while p is looking over his reading glasses as he and martha discredit every third opinion of the supreme court.

meanwhile, the new member of the collective master q, developped a taste for cotton/polyester blend this afternoon which made a quite upset.

a meanwhile is once again lost in the technological wilderness, and has recently discovered that the law enforcement officials are holding hostage her cell phone until she returns to the great state of new hampshire. apparently they are getting desperate and lonely up there.

a hopes that p will be throwing a christmas party on wednesday to celebrate good cheer and his fine culinary mastery and the end to the pain for all persons as persons.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Painful Lives Of The Collective

In the past two weeks, pain has taken over the daily lives of the Collective. Pain controls for the following reasons:

1. No Cell Phones For Persons as Persons: A's cell phone has been seized by the law enforcement community of the state of New Hampshire. Live Free or Die (Unless you have Verizon).

2. The Law of The Nations: Destroyed P's will to live for some time. It is now over, but the scars remain.

3. Papers by Janet: Grrrrrrrr. We hate those papers.

4. Our Federalism: Though P thinks Martha is wonderful, he has ulcers due to her test.

5. Our Education: A lover of William Rehnquist and vouchers has imposed a horrible event upon A. It ends Wednesday, but it shall be awful.

HOWEVER! One beautiful thing alleviates a great deal of the pain, and his name starts with Q. We thought that he would be the mentee of C-Dog, but we quickly realized that he would become The Mentor. One more member of the Collective, bringing the total to four.

Monday, October 02, 2006

a has an incompetent trial tomorrow.

a goes to court tomorrow with the REAL queen of the incompetents, and the most competent woman alive. then a's work in the land of the incompetents will be done (stop hyperventaliting p, you knew it was time!) a wants to move to the beach and learn to surf. not move to the beach and wallow in perpetual pain, which is what happens when she attempts to 'write' things without p's guidance.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

A New Career For A

P believes that A has begun to pursue a new career path: namely, one of the outdoors. There appears to be a great deal of the outside in A's life recently. For example, today she picked apples (i.e. paid cold hard cash to do manual labor) and frolicked on a trapeze. Soon, she is going hunting. Seriously. Hunting. A. Hunting. No one is safe in the Arctic, that is for sure (especially oversized ducks).

P, meanwhile and as usual, has nothing to do with the outdoors. He enjoys the Law and the Order on TV, the coffee, the bars, the office of incompetents, and occasionally the Cambridge Common's Caesar Salad.

And As For P

He is currently hating everyone, which is quite unusual for him (please see blog description above). Despite his current contentedness about The Life Of The Employment, he accords no respect to anyone as persons as persons, even A. He would love A (and thus accord her the appropriate dignity an autonomous individual deserves) but she refuses to go out on a special quest with him this evening, involving beer and people wearing Prada. Why does she refuse? Because she has an appointment with Mitt Romney. Why does she have an appointment with Mitt Romney? Well, naturally she has contacted Mitt and solicited his support in her polyamorous quest, now that Mr. Jeffs has been detained by the High Lord Of Utahian Justice. Mitt, a bit skeptical, only agreed to meet with A to show his "tolerance" and "interest in bipartisanship."

Meanwhile, in other news, Bob refuses to appreciate P's poetry with the posting of many laudatory comments about his rhyming.

In other other news, The Collective has a new favorite person in the world of the incompetents. The young lady apparently likes to run (and thus A loves her) and she also seems quite competent (and thus P loves her). They applaud her running competence, and hope that she disdains The Mitt as much as they do.

people who love p:

1. the hands of justice. p's irreverency and nepotism have earned him a spot as the lord high chief justice of next year.

2. bob, despite the fact that he never displayed any gratitude for p's poetic genius. bob is still in the shock and awe phase of his appreciation for p's life-day poetry and may be able to respond in the future.