Now that Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise have been away from the Xenu madness and securely ensconced in the filthy bosom of Manhattan for some time, the 7-year-old child can go about having a totally normal childhood. Which now involves ghost-designing a fashion line that's worth more than Reese Witherspoon's new property

Because we all haven't heard enough about Amanda Bynes' exploits behind the wheel, she apparently drove around aimlessly around Los Angeles for most of Tuesday, cutting people off and running lights, while taking hits of weed from a surreptitious pipe designed to look like a car cigarette lighter.

Chris Brown, currently on his National Bow Tie Apology Tour, says he's ready to meet with a counselor: "I want to understand my feelings. I want to find out what really transpired as far as me that night."[People]

Party-loving publicist Jonathan Cheban launched his Kritik clothing line at the celeb-friendly Lisa Kline store in Los Angeles last night, and Spring was in the air! How could you tell? For starters, the red carpet was pink. And the Hollywood ladies rocked their little dresses (or shorts) with huge smiles on their…

Men's Health just put out a list of "50 Things Men Wish You Knew" and never have we snapped down so forcefully on our little mouse button and hungrily attacked a piece of internet text. Ladies! You heard it there first: men like women who are good in bed, know about sports, can convey thoughts without sounding like an…

Today in Amy Winehouse news: The singer left rehab, hopped on a helicopter and flew to London to get a brain scan. Doctors are worried that she has a form of epilepsy. Also, her husband wants things to get back to normal. And since "normal" is apparently doing copious amounts of coke and heroin, we vote "no, no, no." […

Ah, sex face. The histrionic Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god YES of the male species! But where we've all been the widely-mocked overdramatic moaner across the hall at least once, no one ever gets to laugh at the little constipated boy intensity on the face of the partner forcing us to fake it that hard. Which is why…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, our weekly binge on the sort of celebrity content we usually try so fastidiously to avoid every other day of the week. In which we "read" the Wednesday tabs. So you don't "have" to.

Vanessa Minnillo no doubt embarrassed the editors of Lucky magazine when those pictures of her posing suggestively with Lindsay Lohan (and a knife!) turned up around the same time her July cover hit newsstands. But at least the former MTV veejay/Miss Teen USA is — to use an annoying phrase oft-employed by the magazine…

People have a certain feeling about a 'pageant girl,' opines former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minnillo in next month's Lucky, page 35. They do! "But I learned a lot during that experience that you wouldn't expect, like how to dress in a respectful, sophisticated way that's still fun and appropriate for my age." Funny how…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, Jezebel's weekly roundup of the celebridiocracy as seen through the gimlet eyes of Bonnie Fuller, Janice Min and whoever the fuck is responsible for Bauer Publications. In which we "read" the Wednesday tabs. So you don't "have" to.