Adam Weinstein

Today starts the three-day annual circus known as the Conservative Political Action Conference, in which Washington journalists scurry like wounded, hungry cooing doves in search of crazy bite from right-wing presidential hopefuls, and also Rick Perry. Gawker is there, too.

Just in case America's welfare dependency is solved there in the next three days, our intrepid legal analyst Gabrielle Bluestone will be bringing us war dispatches from the grounds of this GOP Gallipoli. And wow, what an agenda. Here's what's on CPAC's ambitious schedule just for today:

Panels! Today's include:

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"Does the U.S. Congress Matter Anymore? Executive Orders AND the Hopelessness of EVER Curtailing Federal Spending"

"IRS Targeting Scandal: Protecting the Voice of the People, Sponsored by Tea Party Patriots"

"Healthcare After ObamaCare: A Practical Guide for Living When No One Has Insurance and America Runs Out of Doctors (Part 1)"

[AP photo: Gloria Wist of Lady Lake, Fla., with the Association of Mature Americans, poses for a portrait while attending last year's Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Md., Friday, March 15, 2013.]