If you’re reading this, a sizable handful of Jezebel staffers have already piled into one of two vehicles and set off for Washington D.C., to observe the arrival of its newest swamp monster.

But for now we are on the road, and since we are journalists, we are going to tell you everything that happens along the way. Will several staffers overcome their crippling motion sickness and manage to publish a blog? Which car is the Cool Car? Will we meet one hour of extra traffic, or ten? Will I make us pull over so many times to pee that Emma kicks me out of the car and makes me wend my own way? Will friendships be broken, or forged? Who will keep farting, and who will keep snottily shouting, “Who farted?” Also, what about politics? For answers to all of this, and more, keep our live blog open.