Surprisingly I slept through the whole night, only waking up at 6am. Normally when I am troubled, I would just keep waking up throughout the night. Guess I’m doing good 🙂 Though my heart was feeling slightly heavy. I think it is a mixture of different couple things. Probably it’s the stress from work, the embarkation from the end of one chapter of my life to the next chapter, personal expectations, and more.

Everything happens for a reason.

I really can’t emphasize that enough, it is scary to look back and see how events mapped out and where they lead to. All these experiences really helped in my understanding of people, love, expectations, …

Let’s talk about love a little today.

Why do things go wrong?

Because most of us got a wrong illusion of love.

I can never use the word “love” carelessly when it comes to telling it to males who I was romantically involved with.

Love is not just a fleeting feeling.

Nor is the adrenaline that rush down you when you see the person.

“Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don’t use it you lose it. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return. Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.Most of my life I was under the delusion that love was a feeling, something that was going to happen to me. Love is not something that happens to you but something that you make happen to you and happen to others. Love is something that grows from your actions and decisions and if you don’t have it and or not experiencing it then there is something you don’t know about love!” –Grant CardoneRead more: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/love-is-a-decision-not-a-feeling-777572.html#ixzz18mm1WVfV

Why shouldn’t you use the word “love” carelessly?

Although I never used it in the last relationship I was in, I was being told that he loved me. And indeed, it set some expectations and hopes into me.

Words need to be used responsibly. Love itself is also a responsibility.Using it irresponsibly sets false expectations and hopes in the other. Because to some, “I Love You” may be something really significant.

Love..is when you strip everything off from that person and you still love him/her.

Even if the person lost his/her great job, beauty, got scarred, crippled, poor, and so..you still love him/her.

Not possible?

It is..because I’ve really loved before.

For those who don’t know, I was in a 8 years relationship before. There was of course a lot of turbulence inside of the relationship, especially when both parties are so young and the relationship had been so long.We had strong feelings for each other, perhaps contributed by time or maybe because we were best friends with each other. It was my first relationship, therefore I was uncertain if he was the one and if that was really love. Was I just used to him being the only guy in my life, and the relationship has just became a habit or it was really love??? There were many times when I questioned myself if I loved him?And after a process of questioning myself, I knew I did.

My interview to myself

1. Will you forgive him if he cheats? He mildly cheated/deceived me before but I always took him back. And though painful, if he really did so and ask for forgiveness, I would.

2. If he doesn’t have what he has not, would you still feel the same? Yes, I believe in his abilities to be anything.

3. If he got crippled, scarred or whatsoever, would you still be there? I stuttered a little at this…never a be fan of decapitation. I pondered longer at this and finally, it’s a yes. It matters at the same time and doesn’t matter at the same time. I don’t really know how to explain it.

4. Would you rather bear the pain of he cheating on you or rather he died in an accident? I could feel the stab at the thought of either possibilities as I thought about it. I was really surprised with my own answer actually. I would rather he cheated on me, left me than him dying. I can’t bear the thought of him no longer being alive, even if he wasn’t with me.

And then I knew I really loved him. The last question was kinda redundant because it was pretty obvious.

5. Would you die for him, like shield him from an accident,etc?Yes.

Love is never judgmental, critical or selfish. It is always forgiving.

So where have all of us gone wrong?

We didn’t fall in love, but we are in love with the feelings of being in love.

Why do potentially good relationships, or marriages break apart? Why do people cheat?