...where entropy happens constantly, in an unrelenting manner, as in every second of every day

Friday, November 09, 2007

If you would have told me this 6 years ago, I would have said you were mad...

Today is one of those days that it is just breaking my heart that I don't have a baby in the house anymore. A 3 1/2 year old is not a baby, no matter how many times she is called "baby".

Back when I had a constant and steady supply of babies, I longed for the day when more of my day and my body would be "mine". Now, I would love to be holding a little chub, with a unique but recognizable face, that adds a sweetness and joy like no other.

This is one of the difficult parts about leaving your family planning to God. He must want something else from me just now.

I'm sure it doesn't help any (or might be downright unhelpful, I'm not sure), but I thought I'd just say that it's so nice for me, at my stage of the game, to have your perspective and wisdom on this. It oftentimes feels as though the rest of my life is going to be filled with endless babies and diapers and nursings. And while I know *deep down* that that's not true, it really is nice to be reminded that it doesn't last forever--that there will come a time when babies aren't falling from the sky anymore, and that someday, I will have my very last baby. It really does make me savor each day a little more.

Prayer to the Holy Spirit

O Heavenly King, Consoler, Spirit of Truth, Who art in all places, and fillest all things. Treasury of Goodness and Giver of Life, come and take up Thine abode amongst us. And cleanse us of every stain, and save our souls, O Good One.