Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Scategories

1. Gchatting ensuesA. before a dateB. during a date (on your blackberry)C. after a date

Today the answer was A., when Lawyer from Long Island and I gchatted for the first time.

2. The internet makes peopleA. be extremely polite and shy away from inappropriate commentsB. say things they most likely would not in personC. say things that make their desirability as a blind date plummet to near negative proportion

The correct answer for my situation would be C., when Lawyer from Long Island (LLI) attempted to amaze me with his dazzling wit, and instead instilled in me the idea that he could quite possibly be certifiably crazy.

3. When gchatting with a girl with whom you have a blind date the next day it is smart to say:A. "Gee wiz, I can't wait til our date tomorrow night. I'm going to take you out and really treat you like a lady."B. "You want a total package appeal? In that case, to save you the trouble, I'll let you know I have a very good package. No need to stress about that."C. "I should be seeing your apartment after a conversation like this."

If you answered B and C, you apparently play by the same dating rules as LLI.

He then asks me "so, anything I should know...what are you thinking :)" (I hatesmiley faces). Elaine* says, "this is code speak for, 'do you enjoy random sex?'" I tell him I will let him know what I am thinking tomorrow, once I make my own judgment -- "I judge as a hobby," I say. "Wow, you don't get out much, eh? :) What will the categories be?" he asks. The sticky rotten sweetness of attempted flirting gone bad is seeping through my computer screen, making me nauseous. I don't get out much!!! I want to scream. You put an add on Craig's List!!!

I am honestly scared for your life, I don't care what your co-workers think. I am going to be texting you and calling you to make sure you are alive. I will leave my own birthday dinner to come save your life!!!

First Date Followers

About Me

Hi. Welcome to my lifestyle blog. I write and comment on the hilarity that is dating, and may also include occasional cute pictures of puppies and links to food porn. I started this adventure in 2008, took a little break, and now I'm back.

Encyclopedia of FirstDate Terms/Phrases

"Lets Get Out of Here": Code speak for 'lets go to a different location where I can hopefully progress from first to at least third base.' Note - this does not mean 'Lets get some ice cream.'

Pseudo Crush: a crush that is either unattainable, embarassing or that has simply not progressed past the point of facebook stalking or an accidental drunken text message. It is possible, and acceptable, to have many pseudo crushes at the same time.