Bone fucking chilling cold! Oh God, please don’t let me have to live in this yourforsaken place again! It’s too goddamn cold! I just saw my motherfugging breath! This is proof that we should embrace global warming, not fear it. Warm me up Scotty!

Called my love, teeth chattering, across the continent and over the ocean to our subtropical paradise. It warmed my evening. I’ll call again tomorrow from some Pennsylvania motel attempting to warm myself up. JESUS it’s cold!

Breakfast at a Cracker Barrel In My-God-It’s-Freezing Fort Wayne. Who the hell ever thought grits was an acceptable breakfast food? But the coffee refills were free and the two eggs over easy and biscuits and gravy and turkey sausages assuaged my cold- numbed soul.