Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Titanfall: the Initializing - a non review

So I preordered Titanfall, forgetting that there are always three things you need to remember in life:

1. Never leave the tree
2. Never preorder any games, especially from EA
3. There's always money in the banana stand

If I were to review Titanfall it would be like this: amazing game, AMAZING gameplay, based on what I experienced in the tutorial round after thirty minutes of trying to get something other than the "initializing" message to come up. Then the tutorial ended and it was "initializing" from here to eternity so I loaded up Crysis 3 and enjoyed a game that worked.

I've done a bit of googling and apparently this initializing business is regarded as one of several "bugs" that are proof positive that no one, anywhere, who is affiliated with EA understands how to launch a game that requires an online component to run. Period. Even the guys who invented Call of Duty. Is it really that hard? I mean, Blizzard can pull off a WoW expansion without hosing its multitudinous fans on opening day....and I am pretty sure Titanfall had the budget for this, right? The damn thing occupies literally 5% of my hard drive space, it better have the budget!

I'll be curious to see if I can get in tonight. That tutorial was a lot of fun, and in the few minutes I got to play I could see gaming potential to dethrone CoD, Hawken, and Mechwarrior as the leading games in run-and-gun and giant mech multiplayer all in one fell swoop. Can't wait to find out if that's really true or not...

The important thing is that in a million years, when the brain-worms of Arcturus IX have annihilated us throughout the galaxy, there will be no surviving recordings of blogs to be found by the cephalopods that evolve to replace us. In this way will their civilization advance and prosper.