Oh jeez … does this mean we’ll have to have SPECIEL profiling?

The Arizona Republic is now reporting that a bill is working its way through the state Legislature that seeks to prevent the creation of “human-animal hybrids.”

And although science has yet to produce mythical creatures such as Minotaurs or mermaids, supporters say the bill is a pre-emptive effort to ban human cloning, human-embryo research and the creation of human-animal hybrids. Animal-human hybrids were reported to have been created in the United Kingdom in 2008 by inserting human skin cells into egg cells from cows, chickens and pigs (many of the offspring of those experiments are now respected members of the U.S. Congress).

My god! It’s only a matter of time before they completely overrun our state, taking all our jobs and collecting government handouts that we can’t qualify for! It’s madness! Do car insurance companies even issue policies to drivers with no opposable thumbs? How the hell can one of these things sign a food stamp certificate with a freakin’ hoof?

Won’t you please sign my petition and help stop this appalling attack on nature?! We humans have RIGHTS! Even the Preamble of the U.S. Constitution says “We the people …” and not “We the iguana-people!” I do NOT want to have to step around some stinkin’ half-Hyena/half-Belgian just to get into the Home Depot. I’m a huge comic book fan, but even I know we don’t actually *need* a Bat-Man.

We have to stop this abomination! Call your lawmakers! Don’t let our country be overrun by damned fur-inners! I urge Arizona Governor Jan Brewer to immediately sign into law the ability by police officers to question the heredity of anyone suspected of being a despicable, illegal “gener.”