How We Screw Ourselves Unknowingly and 3 Ways to Undo It

Aren’t you tired of trying so hard? Of pretending all is fine while deep down you feel lost, scared and frustrated? Do you want to stop questioning yourself and doubting yourself?

Then I want to ask you a few more questions.

Have you ever thought about how you were born? I mean, not the physical act of “how to make a baby”, but the metaphysical act of you emerging in this world?

How do your cells know what to do and when? Where are your character traits when you are either kicking and moving a lot or when you are more of a relaxed type in the womb? How do you, when you’re in the womb, decide to move or kick? How do you decide to relax?

Where does your intention come from? It’s already there, but where? Are you already aware of that intention?

If you stop and think about it, I find it mind-boggling to understand. On the one hand, you were created in the womb physically, which is a miracle in itself. But also, through your body came intention. As small, tiny and young as we all were, we were already a vessel through which intention came.

We were. Nothing more and nothing less. We were open to whatever wanted to move through us. Either movement (kicking and moving around) or relaxation (sleeping, resting, listening).

This has never ever changed.

Just as we didn’t have to do anything to become created as a tiny human being, we never had to do anything to give expression to who we are.

Just think about this for a second. What this really means.

You didn’t have to do anything but observe what happens and to give expression to what wants to flow through you. You were already here and when your tiny body was made you could express yourself.

In the womb, you did so very naturally and as a baby that progressed naturally as well. But unfortunately, because of our collective consciousness of separation, limitation, and self-preservation, we have created a false sense of self and a deep disconnection with who we truly are.

But just because we have lost our way, doesn’t mean the way is lost to us. Consciousness is still working her magic through nature, so-called miracles, synchronicities and the law of attraction just to name a few.

There is an underlying order to the chaos we may experience within our bodies and within our lives. We don’t need to work to makes things happen. We just need to get out of our own way to “make it welcome” (Michael Bernard Beckwith).

We need to change.

We don’t need to change ourselves. We don’t need to change our circumstances, but we need to change our focus. Instead of focusing on our outside world, we need to start focusing on our inside world. We need to become aware of what we’re doing.

If we’re not aware, mindful, or conscious, our ego and our limiting beliefs will run our lives. And our ego has some great tricks up her sleeve convincing us we’re changing, we’re being spiritual, or we’re doing the right things, while instead, we’re still focusing on our outside world.

Doing the same things will give us the same results. And often times, it’s more about less doing. Less conditioning. Less ego. Less focus on our outside world.

What are the benefits of focusing more on our inner world than on our outer world?

1. It reduces stress, anxiety, and fears

Most of what we desire in our outer world we do so because it gives us a certain feeling. A feeling of freedom, love, validation, safety, or acceptance. Those feelings don’t arise in us because of that we acquire, but those feelings are always already within us. Because of our conditioning, we think those feelings arise because of those things or circumstances (which we desire).

If we think that, we feel stress and anxiety because those things and circumstances may disappear. Turning within and tuning into that which we naturally are (consciousness), we will learn that we already have all those feelings within us. It’s up to our perception and focus to create those feelings.

By turning within we create experiences in which we feel great, loved, accepted JUST BECAUSE. This will reduce our stress, anxiety, and fears.

The difference will be that you won’t be as caught up in those emotions as before. By turning within it’s like stepping inside the house during a storm. When you’re outside you’re in the middle of the storm. You’re getting wet and the wind is blowing your hair and clothes in all directions and it’s hard to stand still and to keep your way.

But when you step into the house (turn within), you experience the stillness while outside the storm is still going strong. You can sit in your chair next to the window with a hot cup of cocoa and look outside where the wind is still roaring and the rain is still pouring.

3. It will enhance your creativity

By consistently turning your focus within, you will lessen the sound of your ego. You will lessen the volume of your mind. They will never go away, but just as with the emotions, you can lessen their impact and your involvement in their stories.

By doing so, you will open yourself up to the stream of conscious creativity and you will be a channel for consciousness to express herself. It’s like removing the blocks in a stream and the water will flow with such ease and force, you won’t know what will happen to you.

So, how do we lessen our focus on our outer world and focus more on our inner world?

There is never a certain HOW as it’s always more about the underlying energy of the how. You can start to meditate, for example, but if your heart´s not in it, it will not work. You can walk in nature barefoot, but if you don’t believe it or feel comfortable with it, it won’t work.

It’s never the WHAT or the HOW but the intent with which you do what you do, and here are a few examples of how to turn your focus within more:

– Be amazed by beauty

Beauty, in whatever form, has a remarkable capacity to just hurl ourselves back into what we truly are. Our mind, our ego just shuts up for a while and we get still within. Beauty can be a sunset, a painting, a piece of music, a dance, a picture, a sound of a voice, whatever it may be, big or small, fleeting or long-lasting, beauty has a way of letting us lose ourselves in all there is.

When you’re in that mode, be aware of that and practice getting in that mode as often as feels appropriate for you. And remember, practice makes progression.

– Go outside in nature

Nature has a way of letting us reconnect to ourselves. Nature (trees, water, wind) brings us back to the basics of our survival and brings us back to the core of being human. All the thoughts and to-do-lists vanish and we are what we are; a human being.

When you are in nature and you feel yourself reconnect to that, start witnessing what is happening. Take a back seat and start witnessing your withdrawal of the fast-paced world and see yourself relaxing.

But remember, this will not happen if you don’t have your intention set. You can walk in nature with a mind full of things and you won’t experience the healing effects of nature. Make an effort to become mindful and receptive of where you are and what you’re doing.

– Hold Meditation-Minutes

If you’re an experienced meditator, then please keep up. But if you’re not, holding meditations-minutes is a great way to step away from the business of the mind and into the realm of consciousness.

You can do so when you go to the restroom, if you’re waiting for a traffic light, if you’re waiting in line, before you get out of bed, before you go to bed or when there’s a commercial on. Use these Mini-meditation-Minutes to tune within and feel how you’re doing in there, take some good deep breaths, and relax.

It’s not so much about how long you do these minutes but about the consistency with which you do them.

So, remember, this will not work if you’re too stressed to begin with. It takes time to let a busy mind unwind itself. Give yourself time to unwind if you’re stressed and THEN start with these practices. It’s alright if you don’t feel the effects immediately, remember, practice makes progression. The more you practice with this intently, the more you will feel the effects.

Carmen Smallegange is a coach specialized in uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs. Using her own life lessons she shines a new and fresh light on negative experiences to empower others to do the same and to acknowledge and step into their own amazing potential. You can get her free workbook on how to transform your fears or follow her on Facebook.