Donald Trump Is The Best At Lying

It’s probably fair to say that America, and the world as a whole, have spent the last year in a state of collective shock over Trump’s election. Something so weird and horrible was bound to take a while to sink in. Like the Twin Towers vanishing from the New York skyline, it just felt weird and wrong. As a result, it took a long time for people to get used to President Donald.

Immediately after his election, however, people started reminding each other that this is Not Normal. That we shouldn’t become complacent or ever stop railing against the corrupt, senile, fascistic incumbent. We may finally be getting used to the fact that Trump is president, but we should never make peace with it.

Results have been pretty good. There has been a great deal of protest, the public outcry over Obamacare’s rollback was sufficient to smother Trump’s healthcare plans, and recent electoral results are showing a big leftwards swing. Consider Virginia electing an openly transgendered woman to the House of Delegates, for example.

In spite of all the protest and righteous fury, there is still one thing that has become normalized: Donald Trump’s constant bullshit.

It must be driving him crazy.

The problem with Trump is that he’s basically a walking orange sack of daddy issues. Also that he’s a racist sex offender who probably has dementia and wants to bang his own daughter.

…Okay, there are a LOT of problems with Trump, but the daddy thing is significant. Consider his telling response when asked about how his father would have taken his bid for the presidency. “He absolutely would have let me do it,” Trump responded, a touch defensively.

Pretty much everything Trump does is geared towards making himself look big and important. He’s desperate for people to be impressed by him, which is normally the sign of someone who was never treated as though they were special at home. Trump isn’t smart enough to figure out the root cause of his own issues, so he built skyscrapers, covered everything in gold, bullied and abused women and, ultimately, ran for President.

And through it all, he lied. Constantly. Pathologically. It’s not enough that he has actual skyscrapers with his name on them. He has to tell people they’re bigger than they really are. It’s not enough that he’s somehow made it to president – he has to insist that he had the largest inaugural crowd of all time. Even when the press is critical of him, he has to say that he’s the most criticized and vilified politician in history, because he can’t help but insist that he’s the most.

The most wealthy. The most successful. The most maligned. It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s him because he’s special, dammit, even if his daddy never told him so.

The result is that the one thing we have normalized during the first quarter (please, God…) of Trump’s presidency is that he’s full of shit, and so can be safely ignored.

Of course, being ignored is the worst thing in the world to people like Trump, and the beauty of it is that it will make him want to lie even more. Go bigger. More outlandish. Anything to appear impressive. The more he lies, the less seriously he is taken. The less seriously he is taken, the angrier he gets about it and the more he lies. Pretty soon, Trump will be claiming to be eight feet tall and world kickboxing champion.

Again, Trump is too old and stupid to see the error of his ways. He’ll just keep lying, and being frustrated that his lies aren’t taken seriously, and lying more, like a man impotently pushing at a “Pull” door and becoming increasingly annoyed that it remains shut.

The Trump Presidency is a horrible thing in a great many ways. But watching Trump’s inevitable spluttering implosion play out in slow motion might just be the most entertaining thing on TV.