Friends and family celebrate life of Joe Shanley

NEW CASTLE — Joe Shanley had the last word on Saturday morning at the Wentworth by the Sea hotel during a memorial celebration in his honor.

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By Suzanne Laurent

seacoastonline.com

By Suzanne Laurent

Posted Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Updated Dec 9, 2012 at 10:03 AM

By Suzanne Laurent

Posted Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Updated Dec 9, 2012 at 10:03 AM

» Social News

NEW CASTLE — Joe Shanley had the last word on Saturday morning at the Wentworth by the Sea hotel during a memorial celebration in his honor.

Becky May of InfoLink hosted the celebration and introduced the speakers. A video feed was set up in an adjoining room for the overflow of guests. Many had to park at the Great Island Common or the Wentworth by the Sea Country Club and two shuttle buses transported them to and from the hotel.

After members of his family and the community spoke to an estimated crowd of more than 1,000 guests, a clip was shown of Shanley accepting the 2008 Eileen D. Foley award for World Peace issued by Friends Forever.

"I'm letting Joe have the last word," May said.

Shanley was full of his trademark wit and good humor.

"Now when someone asks me what I do, I can say 'I make the world a better place, and you?,'" Shanley said on receiving the prestigious award.

Laughter echoed from the recorded clip throughout two packed, standing-room-only rooms off the hotel's lobby.

Shanley, a beloved husband, father, broker and auctioneer, and good friend of the community, died suddenly Nov. 28 at age 59. In addition to the Foley award, Shanley was also named a Paul Harris Fellow by the Portsmouth Rotary Club, which has set up a scholarship in his name.

Rotary President Nancy Notis said Shanley was the epitome of the organization's mission, "service above self."

"There will never be another Joe Shanley," she said.

Jim Shanley kidded that he and his brother Joe were "Irish twins," with Joe born on May 30, 1953, and Jim the next year on May 5.

"In a few decades, people still might remember Joe Shanley," he said. "Maybe not in a few hundred years. But his message was 'just be kind.' I think he nailed it."

"It was all about the adventure," said Hoefle, an attorney in Portsmouth.

He told of the time the two went to visit Shanley's daughter Tristan at the University of Rhode Island. The night they arrived, they went out to dinner. As they were walking, they passed a homeless man begging for money.

"Joe stopped and invited the guy to join us for dinner," Hoefle said. "Joe ordered for him and we had so much left over, the doggie bag was a trash bag."

Hoefle said, in true Shanley fashion, when the check came, he told the waiter, "It's Dan's turn to pay."

Michelle McCarthy, who worked with Shanley at Shanley Realtors and Auctioneers LLC, had many tales to tell as well.

"Joe referred to me as Title IX," she said, referring to the law that gave women equal rights in athletic opportunities.

"He had a heart as big as a Volkswagen," McCarthy said. He was also one of the funniest people I have ever known."

McCarthy said there were "tens of thousands of stories about Joe."

"To leave these behind in the hearts of all of you is not to die," she concluded.

Peter Loughlin, another Portsmouth attorney and friend, said, "Joe taught us not to take ourselves too seriously."

"Under that acerbic exterior was a great big teddy bear," Loughlin added.

Referring to the Occupy Wall Street protests in the spring, Loughlin said Shanley was in the top 1 percent.

"He is in the top 1 percent of people who donated his time caring about the community and other people," he said. "He was in the 1 percent of honesty and sincerity. And, he was in the top .001 percent who found humor in every situation."

He challenged those in the crowd, when they felt stressed out and tired, to look up and say, "This one's for you Joe," and make the extra effort.

The celebration broke after about an hour so those in attendance could have refreshments and then they were invited to see the second half of Shanley's video from the Foley award reception.

In the lobby, guests looked at photos throughout the years of Shanley with his wife Cindi, their daughter Tristan and other family members. There were also displays and other memorabilia of his many achievements and awards over the years.

And, most were telling "Joe" stories.

City Councilor Nancy Novelline Clayburgh recalled Shanley as a "pillar of the community."

"He really listened and wanted to help when I expressed concern for disabled adults finding housing after their parents are deceased," she said. "I'm hoping Michelle McCarthy will continue his work."

Longtime friend Patty Henschke said Shanley was "one of a kind" who "had many jokes, but also so much love."

About a dozen of Shanley's classmates from St. Patrick School, class of 1967, were reminiscing in the lobby.

"I remember he loved teasing the girls," said Claudette Laroche of Hooksett.

Classmate Michael Griffin of Portsmouth recalled Shanley "being tough on the nuns." And Carmine Vitagliano of Nashua mostly recalled playing football in the newly fallen snow in front of the grade school on Austin Street all those years ago.

Rotarians are honoring Shanley with a new scholarship program created in his memory. The Rotary Club of Portsmouth Joseph J. Shanley Scholarship Program will be awarded to applicants who have demonstrated an interest in community service. The goal is to raise $250,000 to begin to endow the scholarship program. While details are still being worked out, Shanley's family asked that applicants be able to demonstrate an interest in community service, a need for assistance, and that they come to the scholarship committee with the support of current community leaders who have identified something special in them.

To contribute to the scholarship program, send checks to the Joseph J. Stanley Rotary Club of Portsmouth Scholarship Program at P.O. Box 905, Portsmouth, NH 03801.