It’s time to end the marriage

How to tell your spouse that you have decided to end the marriage in a peaceful way by exploring mediation.

There are no criteria for when you should end your marriage. I tell people that unhealthy relationships are like having a relationship on a respirator; either the relationship will be revived and will recover or eventually one of you will make the decision to discontinue life support. If conflict is not dealt with one or both of you will become emotionally disconnected. That disconnection can grow into dissatisfaction and lead to an emotional exit.

It’s common for me to see that one person has emotionally left the marriage and gone through a grieving process before the other person has reached that conclusion. If you decide to end your marriage because of disconnection remember that your spouse will most likely be taken by surprise. Expect that they will begin to experience stages of grief that you may have already worked through. Their stages will include anger, denial and bargaining. They might at that point be willing to make significant changes. It’s important that you be sure of your decision and avoid sending mixed messages. They will eventually get to acceptance.

Let them know that it is not your intent to cause them harm. Tell them you are committed to making decisions together for your family and that your hope is to learn to work together for your children. Let them know that you have done some research on healthy ways to end a marriage and ask them if when they are ready they would review the information at DivorceMediationTexas.com. Tell them that you do not intend to begin a litigation process and that you hope that with some help the two of you will be able to help each other establish two healthy households for your children.