Poodle Mourns Loss of Canine Companion

Q. I recently lost my 11-year-old standard poodle who was fine one minute then suddenly breathing like he’d run a marathon. Because the emergency vet could find no pulse in his hind legs and he was in total shock, he was euthanized. My remaining 5-

year-old poodle Sera has become nervous, barking when she thinks someone is in the yard or at the door and not eating well. I’ve taken her to playtime at a local facility and hope she comes to love it. Sera has never been an “only” dog. I am at a loss what to do.Marianne – Lehigh Valley

A. My sincere condolences on this traumatic loss.

As you grieve the passing of your beloved companion, Sera’s dealing with a dramatic change in her life as well. Whether dogs express emotions remains a subject of debate, but they do sense when someone is missing. If she was the leader, she lost her follower. If she was the follower, she lost her leader.

Thing is, she has no way of knowing whether her buddy will return—just that he’s missing. Losing a pack member can greatly affect a dog’s confidence and security. What we read as “grief” could well be confusion as to “what do I do now?” Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan likens it to an addiction of sorts—an ingrained habit and routine suddenly disrupted. Dogs feel safer with routines.

Because Sera is younger, healthier, and female I’ll assume she was the boss. With no one to control she likely feels unneeded as a pack member. You are in a perfect position now to boost her confidence through activities that give her a sense of reward and purpose.

An attitude of leadership on your part will help restore her confidence. It’s tough while you’re mourning the loss yourself. But do not spoil or sympathize with her. Doing so could lead to behavior problems down the road.

Find activities she enjoys, be it vigorous games of catch, a quick ride to the bank or fast food drive through, and opportunities to visit other dogs and people off her turf. The playtime is an excellent idea. Pleasurable outings will deepen her bond to you.

Create new rituals she can anticipate each day such as grooming, a massage, or training her new tricks with lots of food rewards. Even playing games of hide and seek indoors can be a welcome game that will strengthen your relationship

Resist the temptation to acquire a replacement for her lost companion at this time. Grieving owners who do this prematurely often end up resenting the new addition. Comparisons to the deceased pet are inevitable.

Give Sera time to adjust to a new routine. Who knows, as time goes on she may actually enjoy being an only dog. Most canines are perfectly content with humans as their only pack mates. She just needs a little coaching and a strong leader.

Being a two-dog owner most of my life, I’ve been through this—one reason we try to provide separate activities for the duo so they wouldn’t get too “addicted” to each other. In any multi-dog household owners should prepare for the inevitable loss of a pack member before the fact.

This is an issue I’m dealing with right now, knowing Barney will predecease Maggie.

We sometimes walk them together, sometimes separately, and mix separate outings into their routine. They need to learn that being apart can be as much fun as being together. With Barney’s increasing health issues I have to resist over correcting Maggie who is bursting with energy –her only real fault being a young healthy Newfoundland.

I admire you for seeking guidance at this difficult time. You have the right attitude and plenty of company on this subject. Best of luck to you both.