The quest for personal happiness is a quest for freedom. The changes that bring freedom need not be large. There is a magic wand that will solve your problems, you just have to find it.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Initial Hurdles: Get Someone To Carry You Over

As a toddler, you were still new to the whole walking business. The standing up on your own business was still pretty fresh in your still forming infant mind. But you stumbled along, occasionally falling down and getting up again (or lying on the floor bawling - you had simple choices back then). Until, that is, you came to some stairs. Now, you might have wanted to attempt the climb the stairs... you had seen the other, bigger, people overcome the fitted carpet Everest. But all you could do was stand there, hands atop the first step, wondering what exactly it was you were meant to do next.

And then you felt the clutch of hands on your tiny midriff, and felt the ground fall away from under you. Your feet touched the first step. Then the second. Then the third. "well, done!" you heard the voice say. It was mummy. She had given you the lift up you need.

Sometimes we still need helping hands when we face hurdles. We're not going to jump them on our own, but with the aid of another, we'll get across easily. Some people I know - extroverts - find almost anything easier if someone is working with them to keep them company. By fulfilling their need for company they are masking the pain of the job they're undertaking. But other people can serve other purposes: I have failed at dieting in the past because I was living with people who weren't dieting - but I have succeeded at exercising when I went swimming with a friend: not only had we scheduled a time,m knowing that the other person was going to be at the pool at that time meant we had to make an extra effort to be there.

But the best use of other people is to give you ideas. As you talk to them - or read their blogs - you can find out what has worked for them in similar situations. Everyone is good at overcoming hurdles - indeed modelling how other people overcome hurdles without even thinking about them is the best way for you to do the same.