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Program helps children grieve loss of loved one

Program helps children grieve loss of loved one

Ever since her husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer last October, Mitzi Laramy and her 10-year-old son went from program to program to help them process and adjust to the reality that they may soon be without a spouse and a father.

In May, that reality came to pass when her husband, Richard, succumbed to cancer that had spread from his central nervous system to his brain and spinal cord.

The family had prepared for the possibility but still needed help coping with the death. That’s when Laramy contacted Footprints Children’s Ministry, a new Round Rock nonprofit that helps families deal with the loss of a loved one.

By September, the Laramies and three other families were part of the first group to go through Footprints’ 10-week program, which Laramy says has allowed her family a place to openly discuss how they’re dealing with the death.

The free program, which serves children ages 6 to 18, uses games and activities to create a comfortable atmosphere for kids to learn to cope with their grief. The parents also attend classes where they discuss how their children are responding to the program and what they have gone through that week.

Because they are among others who are also grieving the death of a loved one, Laramy says, they feel a camaraderie and can open up to them in a way that they could not with others.

“Everybody’s experience is totally different, but we’ve all lost loved ones and had young children,” Laramy said. “I found myself more open to share and be vulnerable compared to other support groups that were more stoic or more reserved.”

Jim Ruth, the program’s vice president of promotions, says having the parents involved is a key part of the program.

“When you’re at home or out in the community, in a sense the parents are up against the same thing the children are,” Ruth said. “People ask, ‘How are you doing?’ And what are they going to say? Here, among their peers, just like at the child level, they’re able to let some of that out, knowing it’s a safe sanctuary.”

The idea for Footprints started when Larry Terrell, its president and founder, worked with similar nonprofits that help families deal with loss. But sometimes those services were only provided seasonally, as summer camps, Terrell said. He saw a bigger need that would be available the entire year.

So Terrell went to his church, First United Methodist Church in Round Rock, and received the initial funding for the program through their donations. Since then, the program has received its 501 (c) 3 status as a nonprofit and grown through partnerships with other churches, community centers and even funeral homes.

Although Footprints is faith-based, Terrell says, the program does not advocate for one type of belief or another and all children are welcome regardless of religious belief. Footprints officials are tweaking their curriculum to also serve foster children who are dealing with a separation from a parent.

The program helped Laramy’s son have his first breakthrough after his father’s death.

Near the end of the 10-week program, Laramy asked her son if he had cried yet and he answered no.

“I said ‘This is the time to let go and share. If anyone is going to understand, it would be these people,’” she told him.

At the next meeting, a facilitator told Laramy her son had cried and talked about wanting his father back during the session.

“That’s when I could tell that my son was comfortable enough to cry in a group of eight people,” she said. “He feels more open to discussing his emotions to me on a deeper level since the program. For a 10-year-old, that’s big.”