help again

05-22-2010, 08:47 AM

well, I just responded to a pre-nap, over tired, getting over a cold meltdown/tantrum not so sensitively. I have been away for a couple of weeks with my parents in Spain and my daughter has been sick with a very, very runny nose and mucus filled eyes at the beginning, lots of tiredness from travelling & changes. She had some really distressing meltdowns in the first few days, which I handled, fairly well and she has been nursing non stop, coughing, clinging on me all the time, I haven't had a break and feel tired, overwhelmed and I just snapped; picked up angrily and said, lets go downstairs then and then swearing, said 'you want to play with this key, go on then' - she loves playing with keys. I feel really crap about it and she has been having such a difficult time.

also, does anyone know research, personal experience etc of anti depressants and breast feeding? I feel with a lot of changes i my life, I have become quite depressed.

it's sounds like you're under some tough conditions. don't beat yourself up about it. forgive yourself for being human and promise to yourself to try better next time. if you are depressed, there are "safer" medications for bfing. there are also homeopathics that are 100% safe. can you find a homepath or naturopath in your area? can you find a support group or friend/family to help you out so that you can rejuvenate?

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Thank You Pax Mamma - I always love your advice and posts and I do seem to have been under some strain; since then, she started to feel better, and was more comfortable being with my parents, esp my Dad and they were able to bathe her and walk with her for 1/2hr-1 hr - I even got a one hour manicure a few weeks later!!! and feel, it really depends on my tiredness level and on my frustration level, how I respond - a no brainer there really. I read and read and read and try and do self talk, just soo overwhelmed sometimes.
We are back in brazil now (living here for a few yrs - I am English/hubby America/Brazilian) and she is very happy to be with her Daddy and I have had more time to myself already. This helps. She is close to 22 mnths now and I am considering giving the night weaning another try - we did it when she was 19 mnths, with some difficult moments, but it worked and she started sleeping 6 -8-9 hrs in arow, which reversed after a cold and then we traveled for 6 weeks. She is responding to me nursing for shorter periods and saying 'time to snuggle in and get some sleep' - and then giving her a back rub. She sometimes sleeps a few 3 hr stints in a row - which is an improvement, but would like the 6-8 hrs back and when we have been here for about 3 weeks and settled, I will try again. I know you have spoken about your boys and sleeping issues.. how did it all pan out? did you intervene? did you get tired and irritable too and do things you wish you hadn't etc??

what are the homeopathic suggestions??

Thank You Again x

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you're welcome
glad things have gotten better for you. IME, things usually do. both my boys were AWFUL sleepers and i thought i'd never get through it. my marriage suffered, my sanity suffered, nothing seemed to help except time. now, at 7 and 4, they both sleep quite well and those days are behind us, thankfully! did i do things i shouldn't have/wish i hadn't? absolutely! but i don't really need sleep dep. as an excuse, i make mistakes as a mom (and wife, and teacher, and friend) all the time. but i do the best i can, say i'm sorry, and do a little better each day.

as for homeopathy, you'd need to find a homeopath in your area that can treat you. homeopathy treats the body, not your symptoms, so two people experiencing the same things will have different treatments. i've experienced great success with it.

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Thanks once again. I am the same, my sanity and marriage have been strained, with the lack of sleep and the move to Brazil - was too much, I was v v happy in the States, in CA. Anyway, that is a whole other story....

I do hope the sleep improves, some nights are better, but seems no particular pattern to when/why etc ...

what do you feel about night weaning?

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i'm not sure what you're asking by how do i "feel" about night weaning. i night-weaned my oldest around 22 months and it helped w/his sleep. my 2nd night-weaned on his own around 11 months and he was still up all night.

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... was curious if you felt night weaning was a compassionate thing or against it, I know some people feel any type of weaning should be child led... I did do it once when my daughter was 19 months, but it reversed after a cold and travelling, as I said before. She is 22 mnths next week and thinking to do it again, but it does have brutal moments, but it also helped in the end to extend the length of sleep. I am just gearing myself up for it.

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i personally *try* not to make my decisions based on whether others will think i'm being compassionate (or any other adjective) or not. i know my children best and do what i think will work for us. if i do something b/c others think it compassionate, but the compassion does not come from my own heart, it is not a compassionate action at all.