Archive for the ‘The Met’ Category

Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!

–Steps, The Met

Overheard by: gossipgirlish

Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?

–Central Park East

Overheard by: walter

Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.

–D Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.

Girl #1, touching bamboo sculpture: Rose, how do you think they're gonna get this down?Girl #2: I dunno, untie it?Girl #1: But I mean… Are they gonna, like, move it to a warehouse or, like, incinerate it? That's super not ecologically sound.Girl #2: Um…Girl #1: Fuck! They should just put pandas up here. Like a shit-ton of pandas. One, pandas eat bamboo. B, it would get the job done fast and all that would be left is the rope. Three, the more pandas eat, the stronger they get; the stronger they get, the more they bone, and then they're less endangered. Four, it would be really cute on the news, and… Five? Dude, pandas!Girl #2: Are you high?Girl #1: I've just had a Riesen.

Docent: I'm sorry, sir. Only staff are allowed in the elevator at this time. The roof is closed due to bad weather.Man: But the museum closes in thirty minutes. This is my last chance. I really don't mind a few raindrops.Docent: Sorry sir, staff only.Man: Could you please get a staff member to take me up then? I came all the way from Jersey for this.