Britta: Women of Greendale! This cafeteria is hereby declared a bitch-free zone!

Shirley: Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?

Abed: Which one’s Meghan? The one with the hole in her sweater’s armpit or the one whose tight sleeves are pushing her fat toward her elbows?Britta: No, those are her cronies.Abed: So Meghan’s the one with the crooked ears and no ankles?Shirley: Ha! Damn.

Joshua: I’m Joshua, and this is a place of peach and balance. A place of nourishment, a place free from darkness.

Joshua: I wasn’t sure that you would take to the trampoline’s ways, some can’t.Joshua: And some are just natural jumpers.

Annie: You’re like a machine.Abed: Like Robocop.Britta: Exactly like rowboat cop, Cherise is a bad rowboat. Sink her.

Pierce: I’m gonna slit your butt’s throats.

Abed: Hey Jeff, what’s with the boots? 2008 called to tell you that even in 2008, those were tacky.

Jeff: Why don’t we all just take a deep breath and…Find some center.Pierce: Okay, that is it! What are you hiding from me?Pierce: They’re keep relaxation secrets, tell me how to get this laid back, or I’ll kill your families!

Pierce: I’m watching you two, 24, 2010. These balls on your butts.

Joshua: Guess it goes to prove what I already knew: non-whites ruin everything.Troy: Oh my God, Joshua was racist. That came out of nowhere.Jeff: Did it?Joshua: A place free from darkness. And Some are just natural jumpers. It’s going to be a maze.