Topics - Malt

I managed to escape this garbage can of filthy whining before it met critical mass. Drifting away from the sickening speculation and lack of spell-check that is now the Gaming Steve Spore boards. But I couldn't resist it. It drew me back in as a lurker. I soon realized my beloved board was a husk of it's former self. So many Discussions that needed to be Over.

Now, let me explain. Let's say you order a hamburger at a really high-class resturant. You can't wait for it. You chat with your buddies about it. How the beef is going to be flame-broiled, the tomatoes juicy, and the bun freshly baked. One of your friends says "Maybe there'll be bacon on it." You get hyped up. You can't stand it. You start to gnaw on your own flesh to satiate your hunger for a delicious SPORE burger coked up by Will Wright experienced chefs. But when the waiter comes by to check on you, he says there is no bacon. You then hate your burger and whine about it to all the other customers, who secretly want to bash your skull in. But some are on your side. Soon the resturant is overrun by people all pissed off for no reason other than 1 thing that isn't in your burger. The waiter says he can bring you some bacon to go on your burger after it comes. But no. BECAUSE ALL YOU IMMATURE PEOPLE HAVE TO BUILD UNREALISTIC VISIONS OF ALREADY GREAT THINGS IN YOUR EYES, AND THEN RUIN IT WHEN IT ISN'T THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY!

You can't be happy for procedural animation, or any other amazing feature. No, you have to peck at every little "flaw"(I Use flaw loosely here) until you hate yourself, the game, and everything else.

I've decided to start my own. Not because nay of you will like it, but because it sounded fun. It stars P(red shirt) and J(Teal shirt) atching House, skiing, and pretty much anything I can strangle a joke out of.

Ya, it sucks, I'm no good at intros.

This joke is better if you watch House.

I like this one I consider it the first good non-fanboy comic.

Eh, not too good. But for some reason I keep laughing at the "Woopso! Technical Diffalicty" prt.

In the year 2006, a humble Spore forum lies in a bed of destruction. Faithful followers lose hope, and RP runs rampant. One man....one hope....one DESTINY!

The Creation CornerIn Theaters this Christmas

Basically, these will just be random critters that live on the planets I created while working on my other races. Here are some of my old creatures....

TurnaqThe Turnaq are an extremely scientific sapient race. They are very advanced for a race of their age, because unlike most races they didn't discover religion until much later in their history. This has been unexplained to this day, but Turnaquian archaeologists have found several unidentified sapient bodies near former tribe homes of the early Turnaq. They live about 57-70 years.http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?topic=5471.0 -The Turnaq's thread.(Old, don't post in it)

SteThe Ste livin on Turrrn. The same planet as the Sulituans, however, due to their advanced cloaking technology and far out location, they have remained undetected. Their entire culture is based on effeciency. The populace is made up of different groups, picked from birth. They are breeders, workers, miners, scientists, and Sitae. They are all self explanotory, except the Sitae. The Sitae are the goverment of the Ste. There are only 16 members currently, with all having equal positions. They handle all things dealing with the empire. Only Sitae and breeders have children, with breeders pregnant constantly and Sitae only once in a lifetime. Scientists Sitae, and workers can all raise children that were born by a breeder, but just until it reaches the age when it can work. Workers can not raise scientists or Sitae, however. The miners, in addition to mining for metals and such for construction, also mine for salt and other suitable minerals that can feed the populace.

Shagapiller and Catacomb MiteI give you fellow residents of Torrrn, the Shagapiller and Catacomb mites. They are the same species. You see, catacomb mite eggs house young Shagapillers, and when a Shagapiller dies, young mitelings crawl out. Mites eat shagapillers, Shagapillers eat mites. Mites have a very potent venom that can take out a shagapiller, but they rely on ambush tactics, and will be quickly eaten if seen by a 'piller. Shagapillers can reach 30ft long, and are covered top to bottom in shaggy fur which allows them to slide across the ice. They have floppy, useless antennae which hang from the sides of their head. Mites are much smaller comapred to their shaggy brothers, a male will reach about 1 ft. at max, and a female 6. Females do the hunting, while males tend to the eggs. Females also have long scythe like claws it uses to hang onto a shagapiller until it can release it's deadly venom. The couple will eat as much as they can, and then bring the rest into their nest to be eaten by the young shagapiller when it hatches.

I've made others too...but this is getting to be a huge first post. I leave you with a new creation!

Planet: TorrrnThe Annelike lives in the vast Salt Dunes of Torrrn. Very little is known about them, becuause only a small part of them is visible. They are evolved from worm-like creatures that lived in the sea that eventually dryed up and formed the salt dunes. Those sail looking rectangles are their "ears" and those holes are used to smell. They do not have eyes, like many things in the Salt Dunes(For obvious reasons). They are opportunistic predators that strike at the lost, sick, young, or old. Their venom instantly shuts down all senses, and eventually shuts down all transmissions to the brain. They then drag their prey back into the salt with a powerful mandible like jaw(The jaw and tentacles are all that have been seen to this day) They are thought to live in groups, keeping stockpiles of salt-preserved food in a den.

The other thing in the picture is Flipsh. These, obviously, evolved from fish. They have thicker skin and lungs, but maintain fish shape. They leap great bounds using their powerful fins and aerodynamic design to go far. They have eyes that are covered by a thick, transparent eyelid. Usually live in herds but this one got lost in a saltstorm.

The Avopods are a strange race, to say the least. They are an ant like, hive-minded(Or...sort've hive minded. More on that later) They look like pillbugs with narwhal tusks sticking out of their antennae, and bird legs. And...that's what they are. They are warm blooded, bird-like creatures with a spine. Most of their feathers are on their underbelly, used soley for insulation. Only 4 feathers are located on it's exterior. They are super hard, and appear to be segmented liked a pillbug or armadillo, and serve the same purpose. Holes are located in these shell-feathers to make way for the "antennae" and eyes. The back one can be moved out in the heat to allow air in, or closer to the body to keep in warmth.

They have strong eyes, and are adept at seeing in the dark. However, anything too bright can cause great pain and blindness. Their "antennae" are much like prehensile tails. Prehensile tails ending in tusks!!! (Ahem...sorry...I like tusks.) These tusks are used to fight, manipulate the environment, and and can even test the salinity of water using a series of microscopic holes and a colony of bacteria that live in the tusks. This is vital skill that was very important for them in their non-sapient days. Salt is very damaging to them, it litterally melts their outer sheilding and exposes them to the horrible sun and attack.

Their beak is placed downward, like a mandible. It makes a sound similar to that of a quail, but Avopods are capable of actual speech. They have 3 sets of typical, bird like legs. An Avopod can shortly stand on it's back legs nad use it's other 2 pairs as parrot-like claw-hand things.

Avopods are still stuck in the tribal days. Their intellignece has not increased much, mainly because they did not evolve into sapience normally. They were originally a simple hive-minded species that followed the orders of Matrions, like queens, but their are several and they all share equal power. Most likely, a more advanced race did this. This is supported as well by the sheer amount of advanced technology just lying around Schzertuio(their home planet). This has led to a group of semi-advanced cavemen, WITH LASERS!!!! Now, I know this sounds like the next big ABC Family show, but bare with me.

The Avopods simply aren't advanced enough to perfectly duplicate the language of other species. They speak with short, to the point, simple words. They also aren't very good at creating or improving technology, instead, they go around on their moving space-train towns(More on that later ) and sell what is essentially cheesy knick-nacks from beyond the moon. Pendants of GREEEEAAATTTT magical power with carvings of the 3 gods, jewlery, authentic weaponry, and ufo steering wheel covers made of authentic Marshcaller leather. And of course, the more advanced races just can't stop their wives from going, "AWWWW! How adorable! Wouldn't this look great on our UFO?". They use the money they get to pay inventors to repair and duplicate their technology.

This doesn't mean they are completely stupid, however. Many Avopods can work the technology, and some even build the simpler stuff. This is achieved simply by observation, becasue anything can repeat what another did.

A side effect of going straight from mindless hive workers to sapients with free-will, is that the powerful matrions lost their power. Their pheremones hardly affected the other Avopods. Different groups were forming everywhere. There were 3 large ones;

The Gypsies: The largest group. They are the noes discussed above, who sell things and live on flying space-train towns. They are free to live how they want, and worship any god they want.The Balancers:After they realized that they couldn't possibly have evolved naturally, some Avopods took on a strange belief. They believe that they disrupt the natural equilibrium. Their purpose is to destroy all unnaturally created races, and eventually, themselves. They are the smallest of the 3 groups, but a mighty force indeed.Often they carve exotic designs into their shells, and color them gray.(All groups are known to carve, actually. But the gray color is distinct to the Balancers)The Empire: These Avopods still belive that a hive-mind is the most efficient. Lead by Cleara, an amazingly old(14 years) Matrion. They frequently attack the Gypsies.

Basically, what if you were in charge of a tv station that could play any show ever made.

Mine would be MALTspot. Because that's sounds blingin'.

12:00-6:00am: Random movies that I like7:00-7:30am: The Simpsons7:30-8:00am: Spongebob8:00-8:30am The Simpsons8:30-9:00am: Spongebob9:00-10:00am: SUPER MUSIC JAM SHOW WITH HOSTS NOT AS ANNOYING AS ON MTV(Shows music videos of all GOOD music)

PART 1 A SpectrumBlack and White. What’s the difference? They are not colors, they are spectrums of light. Spectrum. What is a spectrum? Is it a plane, is it some sort of slithering ideal that differs from others only in the minds of a living thing? Is there such a thing as a spectrum? Are black and white any different?

“Finally, done with the generic opening chapter with all that physiological crap.” These words were spoken by a Sulituan on his tiny little planet in his tiny little solar system in a tiny little galaxy. There was nothing special about him. He’s no chosen one, he’s no orphan with untapped mystical ability, he’s not even a legendary prop comic. But with normalness comes possibility(Or was that a badly written character introduction sentence?).

Crested on his back is a fake plant, just like all of his species have. His resembles a small, unbloomed flower. Because he has not yet reached maturity, he has no tribal marking on his slightly darker shell.

The giant red sun cast a slight glow on his eyeless body in the afternoon. There was a dust storm on the outside. And a metaphorical one on the inside, what with all the anarchy. Everyone was used to it by now. Either you joined the revolution, or you kept quiet and stayed in your home when possible. If this sounds like a rip-off of a movie, it’s not, at all, ever.

Our hero was unsure what was right. Surely their government was corrupt; but why use violence? Or…why not? This was all too much. But he enjoyed thinking about it, because don’t we all? And besides, he needed to form a good opinion and back it up before he posts about it on the Gaming Klorgnau message boards.

FWOOSH! BIFF! BAM! SEGWAY! A speedy hoodlum with a spray can ran, well actually crawled slowly, right through Unnamed Main Character. Now sprawled on his back, he saw up through the bubble of bubble-forming substance that a strange blue creature was walking through the sandstorm.

On a planet, somebody said something, “Yeah, I saw that episode. It was pretty good.”. And on another planet, something relevant to the story was said, “Are they herded?”.

Please comment becuase it makes me happy. And I know it sucks, it's just setting up the story and theme.

All was well in the universe. Every race was doin' thay thing. The Necromonicons stopped crying and started being cool, The Sulituans finally bought photoshop and suddenly got 5000 more posts, The Giganmoths were finally balanced, the Kangorians finally figured out if they were fish or birds, and the Yahkaar bought some hats. Nice ones. Soon they would ascend.

But all was not well in the universe. The once freindly and kickin' awesome races, the Nauceans, ViS, and Torpal, began to grow strange tumors on their glowy, ascendy, blue/white/furry, butts. The top doctors decided to call it, EGO'S DISEASE. These stopped all other races(who were JUSTTTT about to ascend) from advancing AT ALL until one million years in the future. And besides that, the tumors were going to asplode.

There was only one person who could save them. Far away on the planet Stubborn, George the wizard meditated. The Naucean, ViS, and Torpal leaders asked him todo something drastic.

Cast Ice 9, the most powerful spell. It will freeze the entire universe for a million years.

The gods have decided to build a new solar system. The space where it will be is reserved. Now, all they need is a star. But the gods are bickering yet again over this. They decided that the only fair way to resolve it is a vote.

Allllllrighty then. I'm back from my vacation and gee I really......somethinged.....you guys. And while I was on vacation, I spent alot of time brainstorming....about things that have nothing to do with any of my forum races so I'm pretty screwed.

Basically, I want to know what you REALLY want. I have the time, commitment, and creativity to continue a race, but unfourtunately I'm easily discouraged if it seems nobody likes what I'm doing. I want to know what YOU want to see in a race, because we all need something fun to look at inbetween constant checking of the Naucean thread and all the newbie races with too many arms threads.

In the year 2012, scientists digging in Canada unearthed an ancient fossil, but they also brought a deadly virus back to life. It quickly spread from person to person, mainly by it's passenger animal, the dog. It killls within days, usually less. With humanity dwindling away, a small group of people who are immune band together to survive. But the virus mutates fast, and they won't be immune forever.

It'll play like the Incredible Tribes RPG, so thanks Detoxicated for the inspiration!

The group is currently in Kansas City, Kansas, Where should they head?

A. Stay in Kansas City (Medium chance of disease)B. Head to the bayou of Louisiana (High chance of disease)C. West to the deserts of California(Low chance of disease)D. North to the snowy forests (Medium-low chance of disease)

BiologyThe Sulituan is a sapient vertebrate in the Space Age. They have an average lifespan of 110 years, and reach sexual maturity at 25. They live on the desolate planet Torrrn, where the soil is so bad only a few plants can live. This is why they have evolved a special lure shaped like a plant to ambush their prey. They dig into the ground using retractable digging organs, and then rebury themselves with only the luere sticking out. When prey gets close, a barb sticks out from the flalse plant and injects a neurotxin. Then they drag the prey down into the sands with their two fingered "claws". The claws bring food into the mandible(Not shown, just looks like ant jaws), hidden deep within the shell along with most of it's body. Despite lacking eyes, the Sulituans have a very advanced linquitics system. It consists of tapping, pounding, and making various different vibrations with their shell. The Sulituans can pick up these and any other vibrations(Used long ago to sense prey above) with a special sensor organ that pokes out under the middle claw. Their shell itself is very strong, and very important. If a Sulituan goes without it's shell for more than a few minutes, it will dry out. Their foot is typical gastropod affair. However, it is retractable into the body to make room for the digging organs. They breath through holes in their tentacles and foot.

CultureThe Sulituans are very mysterious about their ways to other races. They are not religous, but deeply spiritual. They believe that their planet is alive, and we are here pets. She is dying because of assualts by her fellow planets. This means that no other psecies are allowed to alnd on her soil, and if a Saulituan lands on another planet, they may not touch the actual ground of it, for once they do, they must devote the rest of their life to harming that planet, thought that has yet to happen. When a Sulituan reaches sexual maturity they tell him all the secrets of the planet, and give him a sacred mark on his shell(The first picture has one). In the modern day they live in arpartment rings around the central city. Each apartment ring is a single connected, flat ring of buildings. There are many seperate rings in a city, the innermost being the most expensive. In tribal days, they lived in the massive shells of Crustwalkers(I'll draw a picture of one later.).