Thursday, August 2, 2012

Currie's Gratitude 2 August 2012

BE KindÓ2012 Currie Silver

BE Kind

Just BE
Kind

There’s nothing like Kindness

For mending what is broken

And who.

I’m someone who imagines she is kind yet who knows how hard
it is to even muster a good thought for someone, especially someone I associate
reflexively with an old and deep hurt, humiliation, or devastation to ME.

BEing Kind when I have been hurt, humiliated, and/or
devastated takes far more than I BElieve I could EVER have to DO this. I’m far
from that strong. In fact, it is something of a trademark of mine. Somehow I
learned early and deep to hold onto pain and unkindness and let it act as a
buffer to further hurt, humiliation, and/or devastation.

The insanity of such a notion always seems to live on the
sidelines, laughing, jeering, and blowing raspberries in my general direction.
I don’t know that I learned this so well earlier on, but I DO know I have it
down pat Now.

Lately I have been aware of something in me falling away.
Like Gracie shedding, it all feels so normal, ordinary, even natural. But there
is something still holding me back, and I think it is there more for protection
or preservation. I don’t know, YET,
who or what will eventually win me over…