Tuesday, April 24, 2007

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."Mother Teresa

The past week has felt like that. Something desperately sad happened to a very close friend and I just feel so helpless. And it all went down about two hours before I left for FL, so I started up the friend phone tree before hitting the road, then spent half the drive contemplating turning around and staying in ATL. In the end, I'm glad I went, but Florida was also a full weekend of tension and depression. Who knows what will happen, but chances are this was the trip to say goodbye to my grandfather. Really, I said bye years ago, because the man I visited wasn't him. After spending full days hovering over him because he might fall at any minute, listening to him call to his grown children for help because he can't manage to dress himself anymore, and awkwardly trying to remind him who I am (he kept confusing me with my mother and my aunt) I'd return to the hotel with Dad, where I'd try to reassure him that that isn't necessarily his future.