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Personally, it sounds like 2 busy bodies condeming someone for their choices and also judging them...

She has 4 kids by the same guy and never married...so, none your business...

What gives you the right to say the boyfriend is a loser, and his legal problems are none of your business...

Apparently, if the kids are well behaved and bright, they are being cared for and taught manners which is something you seem to be lacking in by you and your neighbor by judging this woman and her boyfriend...

I wouldn't have a problem with a woman with 4 kids. But, at 45, I'd have a problem with 4 kids under 7 years of age. I'm at the age where I can deal with part-time kids Like grandkids, but not raising kids full-time.

the fact that she has 4 kids would be bad news, the fact that she's likely stupid would be terrible news.. No, and hell no4 kids and not married?? I can understand one kid as we learn from our accidents.. but 4??? somethings wrong with this chick and I would not want to find out the hard way!!

After reading all the posts, what sticks in my mind most, is all those questioning why she never married the dad.

I have a friend (yes, a friend....not me) who has 3 children by the same man. They have never married. The children are a little older then in this story...16, 12 and 7. They have recently split up.

But my point is, she always said she would never marry him because she didn't want to deal with all the legal problems that a divorce brings. Their house is owned in her name only also. The only problem she seems to have had with this, is "her" car was in his name and he sold it out from under her.

I a way I guess this was a wise decision. He's gone and she hasn't had to go through the legal system. He still sees the kids whenever he wants. She doesn't get any child support, but then it never sounded like he contributed much financially anyway.

Most women that I date have children, and it's definitely not in any way a deal breaker. I just broke up with a GF with 4 boys, and trust me, these kids were all boy. Fighting, breaking things, eating anything of nutritional value (or not) in the house. I made a 2 gallon pot of chicken soup and it was literally inhaled in 2 hours.

That she still has an active relationship with the father would definitely be a deal breaker.... Seems that she is wise not to marry the guy, but I can only guess at her motivations for continuing the relationship and having so many kids.

The fact that she has 4 kids isn't her problem! Her problem, whether it be dating, finding a nice guy, etc. is......she has shown that she can't or won't leave her so-called "loser" boyfriend. (I assume he is the father of her children?)Always boggled my mind why some women choose to stay with men like this? Only thing I could imagine is either they are severely lacking in confidence and self esteem or they must be masochists? A strong, confident woman would rather be alone than live with a "loser"....kids or no kids!

Let's see: four kids by the same dysfunctional guy, never got married, yet you say she's very bright. Something doesn't fit, sorry.

But the answer to whether I would date a woman with four kids, yes. But not the woman you're talking about. She clearly isn't the smart person you give her credit for being. Having one kid, hey, surprise pregnancies happen a lot, maybe I'd understand; but FOUR????

Well I don't know about your friend but, lets be honest. Few people go out saying "hey I'm gunna go find me a woman with a bunch of kids", and 4 is a lot. And if she goes advertising that too quickly then she is going to have a lot of trouble meeting someone because if a guy doesn't really know you then you're just 1+4 not someone special + 4 kids, you know? She'll rarely get dates and that's no good for her self esteem. The best bet for someone in that situation is to just meet people and understand that they may bolt once they find out she has 4 kids. That's ok, just enjoy the dates and make friends. I know a girl with two kids and a boyfriend whom has told her that's to much for him but they still date, they still are head over heals for each other. She told him that she understands and I can tell he's getting over it. But a player would look for the same angle so, tough break

She's young, she's bright, yet she thinks she can't get someone better than a loser?

Right. she's justifying.

She has 4 kids, and wants a guy w/ plenty of legal problems around them?

Right. Those kids are well-behaved b/c they learned to be that way. If they learned from her, what does she want a bad boy in her life for? Unless....she really seeks out a bad boy in her life. Would explain the biological father, no?

It took me a long time to learn, women don't chose bad boys b/c they can't find something else, OR b/c they are sluts. They WANT the bad boy. In fact, they may want the bad boy b/c they share a lot of values in common....

Dating her wouldn't be an issue...I know from experience, she wouldn't want a nice guy. Why? b/c she'd already HAVE ONE by now. As you said, OP, she's bright, and wanted to have well-behaved people in her life.

I have dated and married a women with 3 children and i had full custody of my two step family's are tough and after 11 years of marriage, we divorced after finding her in the sack with someone else . nearly 7 yrs later i still feel she only married me to raise her children. would i do the child rearing , pto , baseball , kid thing again ?? hell no , my advise to the guys would be to know what your getting yourself into or you could end up knowing how I feel.