not into women because your dick gets hard seeing a male. Not sexist. Sexist means when you feel you are superior than women because you are a male. When you applaud and proudly claim not into Asians.It is racist because you feel that Asians as inferior, or lower in many aspects through your prejudiced eyes. In this case, you filter people based on race because you already have pre conceived notions on what the person is like based on stereotypes and generalization without giving an equal chance to seek and see them as an individual. But again, a retarded privileged white male doesn’t see this wrong because the privileged pedestal. You don;t grow out from your white mom cunt hole and decides not to be attracted to Asian. It is a long social conditioning process of social structure. The same way goes to Asians who are only seeking white males and diss other Asians. Now, that’s even more pathetic.

Haha, this is hilarious. I actually have a very good asian friend. I’m just not sexually attracted to them, and for that, I’m a big bad racist you say. I see lots of you commenting on how “fugly” overweight people are on here. That’s discrimination as well. But of course I don’t expect a bunch of shallow fags to be able to understand the difference in being racist and not sexually attracted to a certain race.

All arguments aside I think it’s important to remember that this douchebag has absolutely nothing to offer anyone else in world. He hasn’t told us a single thing about himself except that he’s not attracted to Asians. Now that’s a keeper NOT!

He actually offers a socio-psychological explanation about racial preference and yet you offer nothing factual yourself – your stupid and unfounded opinion and your variation of I’m not a racist because I have a *insert minority* friend.

If you really have “close” minority friends – why don’t you tell them the exactly the reasons why you find their race oh so unworthy of your precious white hole and cock.

I doubt they’ll be happy if you said stuff like, “Asians have small eyes/cocks/effeminate/bottoms/ugly/generally aesthetically inferior to Caucasians.”

And have you heard of racial microaggressions?

Some info here:

From Psychology Today.com:
Microaggressions in Everyday Life: A new view on racism, sexism, and heterosexism.?by Derald Wing Sue, Ph.D., and David Rivera, M.S.

If anyone is too lazy to click on the link, lemme post the most salient part of the article:

Classifying Microaggressions

In my book, Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation (John Wiley & Sons, 2010), I summarize research conducted at Teachers College, Columbia University which led us to propose a classification of racial microaggressions. Three types of current racial transgressions were described:

• Microinsults: Verbal, nonverbal, and environmental communications that subtly convey rudeness and insensitivity that demean a person’s racial heritage or identity. An example is an employee who asks a co-worker of color how he/she got his/her job, implying he/she may have landed it through an affirmative action or quota system.

• Microinvalidations: Communications that subtly exclude negate or nullify the thoughts, feelings or experiential reality of a person of color. For instance, White people often ask Latinos where they were born, conveying the message that they are perpetual foreigners in their own land.

Our research suggests that microinsults and microinvalidiations are potentially more harmful because of their invisibility, which puts people of color in a psychological bind: While people of color may feel insulted, they are often uncertain why, and perpetrators are unaware that anything has happened and are not aware they have been offensive. For people of color, they are caught in a Catch-22. If they question the perpetrator, as in the case of the flight attendant, denials are likely to follow. Indeed, they may be labeled “oversensitive” or even “paranoid.” If they choose not to confront perpetrators, the turmoil stews and percolates in the psyche of the person taking a huge emotional toll. In other words, they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

Note that the denials by perpetrators are usually not conscious attempts to deceive; they honestly believe they have done no wrong. Microaggressions hold their power because they are invisible, and therefore they don’t allow Whites to see that their actions and attitudes may be discriminatory. Therein lays the dilemma. The person of color is left to question what actually happened. The result is confusion, anger and an overall draining of energy.

>> I bet you do this all the time and when people say you’re racist, you’ll say – “Hey man, I have a very good Asian friend.”

I’m writing my thesis on racism, btw – so bring it on. I’ll just give you more info on how you’re actually a racist.

And even if you’re not – you’re still an asshole. And unfortunately I can’t educate you on that. So all I can do is pity your poor parents…

Why is everyone on this site so aggressive? Some people just aren’t turned on by certain types of people. why do you immediately label that as being racist? on top of that, why so derogatory comments about a “lack of intelligence”
should there be a companion site to this wesbite being douchebags of the comment section?
This is a website which is humourous in nature, don’t be that guy that screws it up for everyone else enjoying it.

Not just a preference
Alex Rowlson goes head-to-head with the troubling terminology of our desires

We’ve all been there.

You visit a hookup or dating website, cruise somebody’s profile and are confronted with the list: no fats; no femmes; no Asians; no blacks; masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting, you be too; non-scene; and on and on. What we find is a lot of hate when all we want is head.

“Gay men have forgotten how to have sex,” says Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, editor of the forthcoming anthology Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? “For so long that was supposed to be something gay men were good at, but I’m not so sure anymore. They might be good at the technique but not the openness. Sex should be about opening possibilities, not closing them off.”

The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.

Gay sexual oppression is catalogued painfully on the Douchebags of Grindr blog, which sorts prejudiced profiles based on everything from racism and sexism to self-hating homophobia. But even though we see it everywhere, most people are as willing to admit to the exclusionary aspects of their desires as Lindsay Lohan is to submit to drug testing — statements are qualified by “Sorry, that’s just what I’m into” or “No hard feelings, it’s just my preference.”

Sycamore says that while people have the right to say what they’re attracted to, they have a responsibility to watch how they say it. “On the one hand, people are stating their preference, but on the other, these are not neutral terms. If we were living in a culture where everything was the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when sexual preference reinforces dominant systems of power in an unquestioning way, that’s when it becomes problematic.”

Michael J Faris, co-author of the essay “Fucking with Fucking Online: Advocating for Indiscriminate Promiscuity,” believes that sexual oppression too often is unexamined. “Desiring one thing more than another I don’t see as a bad thing,” he says. “When you say, ‘I won’t date a black person or won’t sleep with a black person,’ that’s what I see as being racist. If you can’t interrogate your desire, that’s a problem.”

Sociologist Adam Isaiah Green, a faculty member at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, believes “the concept of sexual racism is too strong and too intentional. Our liberation movement worked to remove shame from sexual desire, and I think we should take a lesson from it in terms of how we deal with the topic of racialized desires. Sensitizing ourselves to the connections between our most inner sexual desires and the sociopolitical landscape we are immersed in also seems like a good way to go.”

Self-described “Queer brown drag queen faggot” ML Sugie, who co-authored the essay with Faris, questions whether strict qualifiers should play any role in desire at all: “I can’t make the case that race, ethnicity, body type, ability — any of it — has any business being involved in hooking up, beyond what people have told me are for aesthetic reasons, which I take to be code for ‘unjustifiable hierarchies that I don’t want to explain.’ It just isn’t intelligible to look at someone and say, ‘I want to reach orgasm y being fucked, but only fucked by a person of this ethnicity or race.’ The connection just doesn’t make sense. What is it about certain ethnicities or races that make it so you just can’t get off or find them sexually attractive? And how fucked up is that?”

As Faris notes, “If attraction didn’t change, you would never see two 80-year-old people together. More than likely, when they were 18 they didn’t find an 80-year-old attractive.” Unless one of them was named Harold and the other was named Maude.

Ali Abbas, author of the essay “Death by Masculinity,” notes, “Sexual desire will not, like many other things, come naturally. Desire is universal, but how we shape that desire is based on our willingness to pursue it. Who is to say that desire just naturally happens? Why can’t desire be a mode of living that requires contemplation, action and self-reflection rather than strict requirements?”

It seems the terms we use to describe desires are as fluid and hard to define as the desires themselves. Faris doesn’t think universal definitions for terms like “straight-acting” or “masculine” are possible. “When I’m online and someone says, ‘Are you masc?’ my usual response is, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Those things are all culturally relative. I grew up on a farm, and you have these big women who are doing farm work, which is very masculine, but it’s not viewed as being masculine; she’s just being a wife. By femme, what do you mean? Do I gesticulate a lot? Yes. Do I do drag? Yes. Straight acting is the most hilarious term. To be straight is to be attracted to or have sex with women.”

Faris suggests that, instead of using negative terminology that describes what they don’t want, people should explain what they do want and deal with others as individuals. If you aren’t attracted to Asian men because stereotypes suggest they are smooth and you prefer hairy men, you could write, “I like hairy men” on your profile, not “no Asians.” “I think being explicit with what you’re into is more inclusive. It might mask things and make them invisible and harder to discuss. But it still makes things more inclusive,” says Faris. “If someone is eading through a bunch of profiles, at least they don’t feel rejected by 40 profiles that say, ‘no Asian dudes.’”

“Changing negative descriptions into positive descriptions doesn’t change the fact that they are still requirements based on things like race, looks or gender expression,” counters Sugie. “It merely flips the statement from ‘What I don’t want’ to ‘What I require.’ It doesn’t change the content of the message, only the wording. Why is it so important that someone find a slim, masculine, hairy, buff man? Do you have some sort of vintage sling with a really low weight limit? A grand piano you’d like him to help you move after you fuck? What exactly are you going to do that requires such a specific, acrobatic person — and can I watch?”

What else can be done to change our bad behaviours? Sycamore believes that confronting others’ desires as well as one’s own is effective. He recalls challenging someone for having ‘no Asians’ written in his profile: “He said my distaste was ‘just because you’re Asian.’ It’s fascinating that people think the only ones who could be offended by this racist thing is someone who’s Asian.”

Raymond Miller, author of Little Kiwi’s Word Museum of Wonder and Terror blog, revels in challenging people and frequently shares his Grindr exchanges. “I’ve received so much mail in support of it. There’s the occasional letter that says, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are.’ The irony is that they say, ‘How dare you judge me’ when they’re judging everyone else. And it’s always white boys that can’t believe someone doesn’t want them because they’re supposedly the gold standard.”

Miller has an interesting proposal for driving home the point that putdowns in the form of come-ons are not welcome in our culture. “I want to organize a sexual boycott. Maybe if people stop getting laid they’ll realize what they’re doing is prejudiced. I don’t know why some guys only want to fuck Hitler’s Youth. I think it’s ugly, and I don’t want to reward that. Tell them that because of what they say, they’re not getting laid tonight.”

Sugie suggests a different strategy: “If you’re just trying to hook up, don’t be so picky about it. Indiscriminate promiscuity is about letting go of our notions that we should measure someone’s sexual worth based on scripted notions of race, class, gender expression, body and ability, and instead focus on creative sexual acts.”

Green goes further: “Foucault once proposed that we craft a sexuality not on desire, but pleasure. Desire is heavily psychoanalyzed, but bodily pleasure much less so. He believed that one starting point for a less socially disciplined sexuality was to focus on the pleasures of bodies — the pleasures our own bodies receive in sexual play and the pleasures we feel when giving sex.”

Words can beat people down, but it’s within our power to change how we frame our desires, and even to change our desires to create more inclusive screwing. By challenging ourselves and others we can expand our desires. So go out there and be indiscriminately promiscuous. Or deny that bigoted beefcake a hookup because of his prejudiced profile.

Just make sure you tell him there are no hard feelings — it’s just a preference.

>>Alex Rowlson is a freelance writer who is working on his PhD in history at the University of Toronto.<<

Parker, at least azul raises valid points and open for discussion. Your attitude describes the basic form of white privilege – sense of entitlement. Just because you don’t understand POC POV, does not mean the POV is unworthy. But then, you expect and deliver this pseudo faux white liberal crap that POC does understand but can’t afford to exercise due to the inequality and whiteprivileged structure. But again, their privileges are so up their white asshole.

Ps I read the article. I didn’t agree with a lot of it but at the same time I found it enlightening and interesting and am glad debate is opening up on the subject of self hatred amongst the gay minority.

I don’t fancy Asian guys. Period. There is no predjustice in that statement at all, bunch of drama seeking queens, trying to start something out of nothing. I have no problem
Talking/making friends with asain guys, I just wouldnt sleep with them. I don’t find them attractive. Tripes needs to wind his neck in, in one breath its not sexist to say you don’t get an erection from women, but it IS however to not get one by *for example* asains. Erm… Yea I guess most of y’all are rather homophobic too for “not bein into queens or fems or camps” – take your hypocrisy somewhere else – perhaps grindr?

Will you are missing the point. If you are not attracted to Asian guys that is fine. If you are not attracted to more effeminate guys, that is also fine. What IS NOT fine is how many people are expressing these “preferences”. They are often completely ignoring the negative impact their statements on grindr are having on people of Asian descent or people who are less masculine than others. The point is, inclusion is so important in the gay world, because we cop discrimination everywhere else. Like someone else said here, “It’s not rocket science.”

Just write what you are INTO, not all the things you supposedly “hate” and then no one can be offended, and us gays can all experience less psychological violence in what is supposed to be a gay space.

Henry completely nailed it. I’m Asian and could not care less if you’re not into me, however coming across a profile that reads “NO ASIANS” is a little upsetting.

To be honest, I can understand why Asian people are offended AND why white people see nothing wrong with it. It’s ok not to be attracted to us, that’s not racist, however there’s no need to advertise it to the world. Just be a bit more subtle about it. Like Henry said, just state who you’re into, not who you’re not into. It’ll spare a lot of hurt feelings.

I thought I wasn’t into Asians and then I met this built as, broad shouldered, gorgeous Tibetan guy (who ended up having a massive cock btw) and now no race is off limits. Everyone in or out of a particular race is unique.

Henry did nail it. But I am not missing the point, my point was it’s not fucking racist…no matter which way you play it, it’s a little offensive but it’s not racism. This guy lives in Singapore, for reasons which we don’t know, I think he would be pretty stupid to not say he wasn’t into Asians tbh! Yer he shouldn’t be lookin in an Asian majority country but as I said, no one knows why he is there. But yes Henry, I agree with you completely.

Hi will. Thanks for your response. I am trying to see your point but I just can’t see it. I know you are coming from a place of “it’s just a sexual preference” so I know what you mean on that level. But as soon as people make it racial like this guy did, it crosses the racism lines. I think of you take this to any academic focused on what racism actually is and they would agree. But I am not that expert! Anyway I guess I have to agree to disagree with you because you’re not acting like a douchebag! I find this guys profile offensive and I’m white. I’m glad he has been put up on here.

Hi will. Thanks for your response. I am trying to see your point but I just can’t see it. I know you are coming from a place of “it’s just a sexual preference” so I know what you mean on that level. But as soon as people make it racial like this guy did, it crosses the racism lines. I think of you take this to any academic focused on what racism actually is and they would agree. But I am not that expert! Anyway I guess I have to agree to disagree with you because you’re not acting like a douchebag but I do not see your logic at all! I find this guys profile offensive and I’m white. I’m glad he has been put up on here.

Hey Parker, asians are going to take over the world. They’re going to buy all your real estate and assets and you’ll be left on the street begging for food and money. How about that? You’ll not only be ugly, but POOR and ugly. That’ll just suck. Oh well, you can go kill yourself now.