No, no, wait! I was kid­ding too!

A man sit­ting in a hot tub at a ho­tel in Mis­sion Val­ley, Calif., got into a ca­sual con­ver­sa­tion with a woman and two men who hap­pened to be in there with them. They said they were stay­ing at the ho­tel be­cause their crack lab blew up. So he said he was a drug dealer too. They were jok­ing. He was not. To make matters worse, his new ac­quain­tances were sher­iff's deputies who were in town for a nar­cotics train­ing course. He was arrested.

THIS IS THE HAP­PI­EST DAY OF MY LIFE! ... A man came home from work in An­der­son, Calif., to find a naked woman he did not know sleep­ing in his bed. She had ap­par­ently bro­ken in.

WELL, IT DIDN’T SEEM DAN­GER­OUS TO ME ... A man stood on top of his car as it moved slowly through the streets of Bengbu, China, and then put his legs through the open sun­roof to steer the ve­hi­cle with his feet as it ap­proached an in­ter­sec­tion. When he saw po­lice, he climbed in­side and at­tempted to drive away. He ex­plained to them that he had just made a suc­cess­ful business deal that was go­ing to make him a lot of money, and that he had got­ten drunk to cel­e­brate.

OH, AB­SO­LUTELY, YOUR HONOR, NO PROB­LEM AT ALL! ... A judge in Bridge­wa­ter, Nova Sco­tia, found six teenage boys guilty of shar­ing in­ap­pro­pri­ate images of girls with­out their con­sent, and or­dered them not to look at pornog­ra­phy on the in­ter­net for nine months.

HERE, YOU TAKE HIM! ... A pas­sen­ger in a stolen truck jumped out of the ve­hi­cle when she no­ticed po­lice were fol­low­ing it through the streets of Port­land, Ore. The woman, who was car­ry­ing a 2-yearold child, tried to get into pass­ing ve­hi­cles as she fled, fi­nally opening the door of a car and toss­ing the tod­dler in­side.

TRUTH IN AD­VER­TIS­ING ... An auto shop in Pue­blo, Colo., was shut down and the owner arrested be­cause he was sell­ing meth, heroin and co­caine to cus­tomers who came in to have their ve­hi­cles re­paired. Po­lice be­came sus­pi­cious of the name of the es­tab­lish­ment: “Get Your Fix Au­to­mo­tive.”

I FELT IT WAS A PER­FECTLY REA­SON­ABLE RE­QUEST ... A man trashed a 7-Eleven in Santa Ana, Calif., caus­ing $2,000 worth of dam­age, and as­saulted the clerk af­ter he re­fused to sell him beer af­ter hours or al­low him to bor­row his cell­phone.

WE JUST RE­ALLY HIT IT OFF ... A 53-year-old mar­ried woman was caught hav­ing sex­ual in­ter­course with a 23-year-old in­mate in the back seat of a car in the park­ing lot of a min­i­mum se­cu­rity prison in Fauquier, County, Va.

TOO LATE, BUB! ... A man was arrested for re­peat­edly walk­ing up to the door of a gas sta­tion in Mo­bile, Ala., with his pants down at 3:40 in the morn­ing. He pulled his pants up just as po­lice were ar­riv­ing.