Pahiram ng One Year !!!

Don’t laugh. I really mean it. I am looking for one good guy to share his one year with me. Yes, just one year; one Valentine’s day, one Easter, one birthday, one Thanksgiving, one Halloween, one Christmas and one New Year; the whole of a year.

I am running out of the best years of my life; and it’s a now-or-never quest for happiness, even just temporary. Even just for a year.

I don’t want to go over the hurtful details of my personal life; to retell my story is to undergo the hellish life again; which I had buried in the deep recesses of my memory bank, hopefully, never to surface again. Suffice to say that I haven’t had the chance to know what it’s like to be happily settled with a man who will complete the great part that is missing in my heart; probably in my life, too. I want to know how it feels like to sleep in the arms of a good man; to hear whispers of endearment as we pray together and be comforted that for every tomorrow, he will still be the same kind man in whose arms I nestled peacefully last night.

I am not going to ask much. Just one year of being with a caring old guy, about as old as me, who will watch television with me on the couch; who will have meals with me while we have a delightful time sharing thoughts and childhood memories. I want someone who enjoy walks at the park, by the shore or any place where there are birds and trees, lakes or oceans. Someone who doesn’t raise his voice over simple arguments; who has much patience as I have and appreciate peace the same way I do, and who doesn’t engage in habitual criticism. Hopefully someone who also need the same companionship as I do. Someone who is willing to take the stride towards living to the fullest, in our greying years …even for just a year.

I want him to hold my hand; that I may feel the strength that can come only from a man of integrity. I am not going to ask that he become the extreme romantic when he doesn’t feel it. Just to be a very good friend whose concern and caring ways would be enough. Friendship would be a great start.

Romance is for the young and the old alike. Who says the aging do not want to feel the warm feeling that one could get only from being with someone who truly cares for you? Someone who’s willing to give you even just a rose on Valentine’s day; someone to blow your birthday cake with; laugh with for the whole of that one year. Just laughter. No tears, except for tears of joy. Only a hypocrite would say that one doesn’t get happiness from being loved for who you are, and for giving love where it is most deserved.

Even just a year will do… one whole sweet year of loving and caring. To erase all other painful memories. After that, I’ll be ok. I will have great memories to hang on to, smile over and feel special all over again; even just by remembering.

Maybe someday… one day…. There’ll be that one special man for me; and I promise to be that one special woman, too. Who knows? Maybe that one borrowed year could push on to two,… three, …. maybe four…maybe forever. Forever is just a few more years…

I’m praying real hard now… Lord, pahiram ng one happy year!

(This is to illustrate a common sentiment of women who’ve been though hard times, and somewhere in their subconscious mind is a fairytale dream that they find someone nice to grow old with, but are actually too hopeless that such a dream could ever come true…)