Single People Expected to Celebrate Their Singledom by Spending a Crap-Ton of Money This Year

You've bought presents for 15 unborn babies this year, and your best friend just texted to tell you all about the new Nespresso machine her bae bestowed upon her to celebrate their 14-month anniversary. You get it—latte foam can be very romantic.

But you—master of your own fate who sometimes chooses to eat truffle-popped popcorn for dinner—have earned your own day. And China-based web giant Alibaba wants to give it to you. To revel in your independence, the site hosts an annual shopping extravaganza on November 11 to trumpet the fact that you can buy yourself that special treat you've had your eye for six months. The date, which became a kind of festival for the unattached in 1993 and was turned into a capitalist scheme in 2009, is meant to tell you that you're A-okay on your own. Thanks, Mom!

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For the past six years, WWD reports, online retailers in China and around the world have celebrated Singles' Day, discounting merchandise by at least 50% and sometimes by up to 90%. And while you may be skeptical of an occasion that reminds you just how Miss Independent you are (because WHAT?!), people buy it—big time. Last year, Alibiba sold $9.3 billion of stock in 24 hours. This year, researchers predict that sales will break that record.

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"I expect this Singles' [Day] to smash all previous records with anywhere from $11 billion to $13 billion sales," Michael Zakkour, vice president at Tompkins International and an expert on Chinese e-commerce, told WWD, adding that the rise of mobile shopping contributes to those gains.

And sure, the whole concept is rather offensive! And weird! And pretty dumb (why is this a thing?)—single or not do we really need a "holiday" to remind us that it's okay to treat yo'self?—but maybe it is a good reminder not to splurge just because it's sale season...because the only thing sexier than having an abtastic, Ryan Gosling-lookalike on your arm (or a new pair of over-the-knee boots in your closet)? Having a savings account.