You do what you can based on your own best judgment but try not to emotionally "live" there.

If you wait for the world to be perfect before you can be happy you may have a long wait.

Just a suggestion.

Enterring adulthood, I have witnessed people depressed by living in the past, or in situations which do not directly affect them. Some simply cannot escape it, no matter how good their lives may at present be; overly empathetic is perhaps not the correct phrasing, but it is the best I can think to describe it.

From my experience, these types of things can be cyclical. Recognizing that is the first step to changing it.

There is a similar pattern in my family's history involving alcoholism and abuse (partnered with enabling and tolerating). Even though neither of my parents have issues with addition, my father is the son of an alcoholic and married someone who was abusive. My mother played the role of the "alcoholic" and my father enabled and tolerated her behavior. He didn't enjoy it, but it was familiar. Patterns repeat themselves unless you make a conscious effort to change them.

Edited by ealaiontoir (02/07/0807:30 PM)

_________________________
** former username Ealaiontor **

"The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them." - Marilyn Monroe

I doubt I would have my own children, given my history, among certain genetic issues that may/may not arise in them;

I don`t feel like that should be a problem, after reading this post - you handled an extremly difficult situation exeptionally well.My self, I would probably have hit the guy, and told him that if he ever did that again, I would be on to him.I know that`s no good, but I would`ve reacted that way, I`ve done it before, allthough not with child abuse, and knowing that gives me alot of respect for the way you handled it - talking to the kid like that, man - I think if I were eight, you would have inspired me.Point is, ofcouse, you did something you should be realy proud of, and knowing that you are that kind of person - you might have issues and parenting might be hard for you, but I honestly belive that who you are is much more dependant on what you experience, and how you take this experiences to you, than your genes. If you have been abused as a child, does not meen you would do it to your son/daughter.

You seem like a realy mature person to me, you have some values - honestly, I think you would be a great father!

Dude! That was an amazing thing you did! If I witnessed that I would have not been able to control myself.. I wouldve SLAMMED that rednecks head through the candy machine.. Nothing gets me more fired up than a fellow man harming something that cant properly defends itselfs back, ESPECIALLY A SMALL CHILD! Now dont get me wrong Im not against spanking.. But I am against child abuse which this clearly was.. You sir deserve an award!

Thank you for your response. The reason I didn't push the situation farther, can be best exemplified by the type of person the man was. If he had a gun in the glove compartment, then pulling him out of his car wouldn't have exactly been wise. Not to mention, attacking him at all wouldn't have been legal, thus interfering with my own self-preservation.

I had hesitated stopping him; I have to admit. Seeing three of my managers out there, watching, and doing nothing, and shaking their heads at me when I looked over to them -- I almost didn't approach him. But I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for not.

Of course, if he had come after me, he would have regret it. Judging by how hurt his "ego" seemed when I called him out, I half-expected him to come back. The first thing I did when back in the store was buy a hunting knife, incase he did come back later with the intent to harm myself. As I'm responsible for cleaning up outside the store after closing, and the doors are locked, calling the police at that point would not have been an option.

I'm not sure about Florida's "castle doctrine" laws, but in some states you do not have the "duty to retreat" if you are at home or your place of business.

I try to avoid fights, regardless if I would win them or no; in the eyes of the law, vigilantes are just as criminal as the slime.

When I can, I try to report such things to the proper authorities, but as I said, they do virtually nothing here.

Reporting seemingly "little" crimes to management or the police is not necessarily a waste, though. For example if they get more and more reports on the same guy, they might get motivated enough to do something about it. Or in rare circumstances, the information might be helpful for something else (as a wild example: maybe a car of the same description was reported earlier in a hit-and-run, etc.).

Quote:

As they pulled out and drove into the main lane, he shouted through the window. "I bet you get it in the ass every night, don'tcha boy."

I would have blown him a kiss.

Quote:

I simply turned to him with a smirk, traffic blocked up. "Words from a coward with an ego so impoverished that they have to pick on their own seed are as empty as their minds."Alas, I think it went totally out of his head, as he responded with "Yeah, you look like a fagg'it!"

You probably could have told him that it was a Bible quote. He very well might have believed you.

Quote:

I honestly am not quite sure how police juristiction functions; I probably have some reading to do.

If the jurisdiction situation seems confusing even among the local police, you might also want to see if the state police can do anything.

Now why didn't I think of that? That would have been far better than the middle finger I gave; unfortunately, it might have provoked him even more.

Originally Posted By: "Bill_M"

You probably could have told him that it was a Bible quote. He very well might have believed you.

Ironically, only when I'm angered to that extent am I elaborate with spoken word. Bible verse or no, it still probably would have gone through one ear and out the other.

Originally Posted By: "Bill_M"

If the jurisdiction situation seems confusing even among the local police, you might also want to see if the state police can do anything.

I'll look into that if needed; next time I plan on trying DCF instead, unless someone happens to be a repeat offender.

My store has a mass of cameras throughout the building; virtually no where is safe, besides the bathrooms -- and besides the parking lot.

It's generally the operators in police stations who seem the most confused (or unwilling to do much). I believe reading about Magister Svengali having the same sort of experience with operators, albeit with another issue. Just the same, I've had several who have been very helpful.