Dr. Martin Ellingham: Hello, Fenn, how are you?Louisa Glasson: Don't you think it's a little late for the concerned routine?Dr. Martin Ellingham: What in God's name are you...?Louisa Glasson: When you have precisely one patient I'd think you'd want to visit him in hospital. No, Roger, don't try and speak.Roger Fenn: [very hoarse] He *did* come and see me. Depressed the hell out of me.Dr. Martin Ellingham: It was mutual.Louisa Glasson: Well...[to Martin]Louisa Glasson: You could've told me.Dr. Martin Ellingham: I tried to, but that woman shushed me.

Dr. Martin Ellingham: [on telephone] Richard Morris, ENT. Dr Ellingham, I have a patient who needs an urgent laryngoscopy. Yes, that is my opinion.[to the dog who is rooting around in the bin]Dr. Martin Ellingham: Stop it. Stop it! Well, because I'm a doctor and he's a smoker with a lump in his neck. Would you like the tumour to write to you?[the dog now has his head in the bin]Dr. Martin Ellingham: [shouts] Will you get out of that bin!

Joan Norton: Look, Marty, you do realise that the villagers are dusting off their pitchforks, don't you?Dr. Martin Ellingham: Yes. Exactly how many generations ago did the inbreeding start with these people?

Dr. Martin Ellingham: What do you want Adrian?Adrian Pitts: I want you to put in a word for me with Chris Parsons. You see, Faulkner is about to move on.Dr. Martin Ellingham: And you're ready to step up?Adrian Pitts: Yes, but I'm getting some resistance from Chris Parsons. Since you two are mates I wondered if you might give him a call.Dr. Martin Ellingham: I've spoken to Chris. He rang me. He thinks you're an arse. I think you're an arse too. Enjoy your weekend.[Adrian storms out]Dr. Martin Ellingham: Arse.

Dr. Martin Ellingham: Bert, it's been a long day. Take two aspirin and insult me in the morning.

Dr. Martin Ellingham: Ah, Elaine. Any chance of making me a cup of tea?Elaine Denham: Make it yourself. I'm not the tea girl.Dr. Martin Ellingham: As you can see, I have patients waiting.Elaine Denham: Well, best go faster then.Dr. Martin Ellingham: White, no sugar.

Dr. Martin Ellingham: Is there anyone here who has a genuine medical problem?

Louisa Glasson: I got involved in a surfing club of all things. I think what clinched it was the kids saying I'm too old.Dr. Martin Ellingham: Nonsense. People of all ages go surfing.Louisa Glasson: You should come along. It'd be nice to see you out of that suit and in a wet... suit...

Elaine Denham: I'm sorry. I cannot tolerate imbeciles.Dr. Martin Ellingham: Elaine, when we agreed you'd start at 8.30 you did realise I meant a.m.Elaine Denham: Buying biscuits at the supermarket, right, and this bimbo won't let me through on six items or less. All baps up to here and stick-on nails she was. Get this -[imitates the check-out girl]Elaine Denham: "Sorry. Six items or less".Dr. Martin Ellingham: And you had?Elaine Denham: 20, but that's not the point.

Dr. Martin Ellingham: Can you give me his phone number then, please?Pauline Lamb: No. Don't have it.Dr. Martin Ellingham: Remind me what your job is again?Pauline Lamb: He didn't leave a number. He left in a rush, looking like a frightened rabbit. Like all your patients, actually.