Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A friend called me about an ad on Craig's list.. He was interested in the leather couch and since I was less than a block away, I told him I'd check it out.

The Craig's List ad said:

Free estate items. Leather couch and loveseat. Another 3 seat couch and love seat, kitchenware and dishes and misc. Knick knacks and pictures in frames. Today from 10am to 11am... Please no emails back, just be there.

9:50 AM I pulled up to the house... and saw this:

I walked around and talked to some of the people there.

Right at 10 am, the garage door opened..

And EVERYONE RAN...

Before the garage door was all the way open,

two big guys jumped on the couch and said:

"I got it first, I got it first! IT'S MINE!"

The guy that jumped best, is just out of the frame on the left.The one that was yelling is in the red.The lady on the right was yelling at him.

This is the most exciting day I've had in a while.

This gives me ideas.. If people would kill each other for a leather couch, just think what they would do for something better....

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. -esv

I have 2 online college courses. I usually take the test on the very last day, and somehow, I’m actually ready to take the test today, a full 3 days before the last possible day.. But as I got ready to take the test, I realized that my pencil was broken!

OH NO! I cried.

Why do I need a pencil for an online class? I don’t know.. I might, and well, you never know when you need a sharp pencil. On my way to the sharpener, I realized that my room needed some cleaning!

So, I pulled out the vacuum and began to sweep.. As I swept, I glanced out my window.

Imagine my shock to find that there were weeds growing. Me, oh my.. I said to myself. I must get those pulled before they get out of hand!

Shortly after pulling all the weeds, I noticed the lawn needed to be mowed, and knowing that a thing like mowing shouldn't be put off, I quickly sprung to action.

After all that hard work, I sat down to a nice bowl of popcorn to reward myself for a job well done.Joe suddenly burst into my room, yelling at me that it's time to play chess. Although I needed to do my test, I was willing to be selfless and put my sibling first.

We played.... and played.. and

And before we knew it, the clock struck nine.

As I was heading to the pencil sharpener, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the living room needed to be straightened up. After all that work, I heard Beth call..

Beth's wall: the only place you can find "Seth." A random picture she displays, to all who are brave enough to enter her room.

"I didn't call you," she replies. "Get back to work," she says.

Just as I was about to sharpen my pencil, so I could finally take my test.. I noticed that the dishes needed to be washed. Out of the goodness of my heart, I took the task upon myself.

As I scrubbed all the pots, pans, plates, forks, spoons, knives, and anything else I could find in the dishwasher, I suddenly realized that my motorcycle needed to be washed! Although I knew that my school was calling, the pencil needed to be sharpened, but washing the motorcycle was a task that couldn't be put off.

After a fine job-well-done, I selflessly cut up an orange and shared it with the family. Although they were all sleeping, I know that they would have enjoyed eating it as much as me.

Finally, I was able to sharpen that pencil.....

I finished sharpening, and looked up.. lo and behold, I was almost out of day.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Generally, if you jump ship, you leave a job or activity suddenly before it is finished, especially to go and do something for someone else. I think that this term has a lot to do with commitment. A person that is committed to what they are doing, will stay with the task till the bitter end. Someone that is committed will see and understand the difficulty they will face in their commitment and prepare for it.

Back in the days when I worked at Lakeside Shopping Center, there was a tunnel under the mall. The tunnel was used as a loading dock for all the deliveries to the stores. The tunnel was built poorly, so water from the parking lot would drain down into the tunnel. This water would almost never dry, and therefore contributed a nice thin layer of scum that was very slippery. (It also contributed a very strange odor, but that’s a different story)

We would often use this slippery surface for our enjoyment. Lakeside shopping center had a golf cart, for plowing sidewalks, doing trash rounds, and just getting around the massive 40 Acre piece of land. If you could get the golf cart up to top speed on the down ramp into the tunnel, by the time you hit the water / scum, with some careful braking and steering wheel maneuvers, the golf cart would do a perfect 360. While this could be potentially dangerous, I had done it enough times, that I was quite proficient.

One day, one of my friends came over to Lakeside, so I could help him work on his car. I was still on the job doing trash, and offered him a ride down into the tunnel… I saw the water… The temptation was too great. I was at top speed at the end of the ramp, and I told him to hang on! “We’re going to do a spin.” Before I knew what was happening, he jokingly said “no way” and promptly jumped off the speeding golf cart.

The next few seconds happened so quickly that I’m not quite sure what all happened. I am sure of one thing: a person can’t instantly start running 20 MPH. I stomped on the brake and looked back. A cloud of dust enveloped a still rolling human figure. When I arrived on the scene, blood was dripping from his scraped hands, as he said… “Well…. that was kinda stupid, wasn’t it?”

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been going to the store to buy donuts. I buy the pre-packaged donuts. I show up almost every Thursday at the exact same time each week. Each week I see the same chap walking out with donuts, as I walk in to buy my donuts. Occasionally we share a few comments. Often our exchange sounds like this: Me: “Hi, any good donuts today?” Other gentleman: “Yes, but there aren’t any left.”

Last week, I arrived earlier than normal, and I found that the donut selection was much better. Instead of finding the normal boxful of cake donuts, I found an assortment of many different pastries, including cinnamon rolls. I scooped up the box, and purchased them. On my way out of the store, I walked past the gent on his way in. He shot me a strange glance, and the exchange was as follows: Gentleman: “Hi, any good donuts today?” Me: “Yes, but there aren’t any left.”

Today, I didn’t arrive early, and I met the gent on his way out of the store, faithfully holding his box of donuts. He looked at me, I looked at him, and for a few moments we shared an awkward stare. He broke the silence by saying “I fought in Vietnam; once, I killed a guy that tried to steal my breakfast. I really like donuts for breakfast.” I looked at him, and then replied: “I don’t like waking up early anyway." He smiled and walked away. I think I'm going to wear a mask to the store next week.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

"It's deja vu all over again." "It was a sudden and unexpected surprise." "He was a corrupt politician."

What, you may ask, do these have in common? That's right, they are all redundant.I recently watched a commercial for "Ninja Assassin" a new movie that came out late last year. I really wish I could have been there when they decided on the name of this movie.. I bet it went something like this..

Producer 1 "We should name it something cool, like Return of the Ninja"Producer 2 "Ninjas are cool."Producer 1 "Yeah, people like ninjas"Producer 3 "I like people that kill people.. what do you call those?"Producer 1 "Those are called assassins"Producer 3 "We should use that in the title.."Producer 2 "How about Return of the Assassin?"Producer 1 "How about Return of the Ninja Assassin?"

.......all pause.. looking at each other.....

Unison "NINJA ASSASSIN!"

My only question is.. aren't ninjas already assassins? like isn't the point of a ninja to go around killing people and getting away? So, isn't the title of this move sorta redundant? "Ninja Ninja? Killer Assassin??