The Reasons Daughters Need Their Fathers

I was inspired to put it together after I read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker, M.D. Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician. She has seen what a father’s influence means in the lives of girls from the counseling she’s done in her practice. If you are a daddy of girls, then you need to read this book. It should be mandatory for all fathers with daughters.

I’m going to borrow some of Dr. Meeker’s stuff today to help you see why fathers are so important to the future success and happiness of their daughters.

Here are three reasons daughters need their fathers:

1. Your Daughter Needs Your Protection

Protection comes in many forms. Of course, when girls are young, they need us to protect them physically. However, as they grow up and venture out on their own, we can’t always be right there with them. But, we can still protect them by instilling in them confidence, wisdom and a sense that they are loved deeply by the most important man in their lives. You see, whether you want to admit it or not, our culture can sometimes be a very toxic and dangerous place for young women. Here are just a few of the disturbing statistics that Dr. Meeker cites in her book:

Over 40% of girls 14 to 17 years old engage in unwanted sex because they fear their boyfriends will get angry if they don’t. That’s 4 out of 10!

Almost 12% of females will experience forced intercourse.

Over 35% of high school girls will have sad, hopeless feelings for longer than two weeks.

Over 11% of females attempt suicide.

Don’t let your daughter become a statistic! A strong father can dramatically improve his daughter’s chances of avoiding these pitfalls and many others. Daughters who feel a close connection with their dad have fewer suicide attempts, fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance abuse and unhealthy weight. Your daughter needs you to protect her from these threats.

2. Your Daughter Needs to Know She Is Loved

A father’s love is central to a daughter’s sense of well-being. A strong and loving father helps young girls avoid many of the mistakes that lead to the bigger problems in life. According to Dr. Meeker:

A daughter’s self-esteem is best predicted by her father’s physical affection.

Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention.

Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.

76% of teen girls said that their father influenced their decisions on whether they should become sexually active.

A father who sets boundaries and curfews and makes a point of meeting the boys his daughter dates, makes her feel more loved and valued. As a result, this young woman will place more value on herself. A girl who places more value on herself is less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as casual sex, binge-drinking and taking drugs. So, even though she might not appear to like it on the outside, deep down inside, your daughter wants you to set boundaries and provide guidance. This makes her feel that you care about her.

3. Your Daughter Needs You to Be Involved

It is not enough for a father to just be present. He must be actively involved. This requires spending time alone with your daughter on a regular basis. Time that you initiate and devote to her alone. You have to talk to her. “One of the great myths that our society perpetuates is that teenagers need their space,” says Dr. Meeker.

“Even in affluent families, girls become sexually active and pregnant earlier if they don’t live with fathers, according to the largest and longest-term study on the problem,” cited an article in USA Today.

You need to affirm your daughter verbally and often. Tell her that you love her and that she is pretty, but don’t stop there. Praise her for other desirable qualities like intelligence, courage, loyalty, integrity, a sense of humor and generosity. You want her to know that she’s valued for much more than just her physical appearance.

Get involved in things that she likes. This may be a little uncomfortable for some dads, but you’ve got to put all that aside and do what’s best for your daughter. She needs to know that she’s important to you and that you’re willing to engage with her on her terms. Personally, I’ve Learned a Lot from Playing Barbies with my daughters and you can too.

An involved dad that is affectionate and spends quality one-on-one time with his daughter is investing in her future. This investment will pay off in big ways.

Be the Father Your Daughter Needs

I challenge the fathers out there to rise up be the kind of daddy that your daughter needs. Her future depends on you. There is nothing more important that you can be doing. There is time for all the other stuff later, but your daughter needs you now. Go be the father she needs.

Please share this via Facebook, Twitter, email or your favorite social media site. My hope is that it will inspire a father to step up and get involved in his daughter’s life.

Hi Jeff,
How great to see this kind of post. We need more of the ‘fathering’ pieces.
Love everything you wrote; all so important. The thing that stands out for me is your line of, “get involved in things that She likes.” Right on! Once again the idea of putting aside our own discomfort for the interest of the other. In your case, dolls! Enjoy your Barbie and Ken!
Thanks for this.

Harriet, I’m blessed to be my daughters’ father. They are awesome girls. I do my best to treasure these years while they are young and still listen to dear, old dad (at least a little). I think if we are honest, we all realize how important it is for our children to have a strong father-figure in their life. I’m glad I could highlight it here. Thanks for the encouragement!

Jeff,
As the father of a 15 year old daughter – this is really great material.

Those teenage years can have a few challenges along the way – still, being involved and caring about our daughters – it DOES make a difference. I’m back from cheering her on at her basketball game last night, and today – it’ll be supporting her (and her friend) as they work on a musical duet. And tomorrow…plans for a cappuccino run…

Lance, you are further down the road than I am right now. My oldest is only 11. I appreciate you speaking up on the importance of being an involved father. It is all those little deposits we make in them that add up to the big difference we ultimately want. Sounds like you are doing all the right things!

I don’t live with my kids. My wife and I separated a couple of years ago. I do make sure that I meet my kids at least 3-4 times a week, even if it is only playing or sitting somewhere quit and talking for 2-3 hours, where I can give then 100% attention. My daughter is still very young, but your article explained me many things about her behavior.

Daniel, I’m glad to hear that my article helped you. Since you don’t live with your daughter, you are going to have to make extra effort to be there for her (but you already know this). It is great to hear that you are spending quality time with both of your children and being the father they need even though you are no longer married to their mother. I wish you the best!

This is an awesome post and if Dr. Meeker’s book should be required reading, this post should be a required introduction to her work.

I have a daughter who is now married. But our relationship was always very close and I see exactly what you’re talking about in her character and behavior because of our relationship.

In high school she was given the assignment of writing about her hero. She chose to write about me. That kind of relationship allowed me to be a huge influence in her life, to help her make decisions in her teens that would serve her throughout her life.

This point jumped out at me – A daughter’s self-esteem is best predicted by her father’s physical affection. Not only will a daughter look for love in all the wrong places, they can mask the pain of having an absent father by using drugs and alcohol. This is such an important topic, Thank you for your sharing it and reminding all the dads out there that they have a very important role in their daughter’s life.Cathy | Treatment Talk´s last [type] ..Little Joys Were Sprinkled Upon Me: Meet Mark Matthews

I’m a dad for 2 baby girls now. I find this article very helpful especially when I’m from a family with no woman except my mum. I was never really ready to be a father for daughters because I had no idea (never visualized) that I will have daughters. But I’m getting along with it quite well so far and this article has boosted my confidence and knowledge to start being a father for my two little angles.

i am so happy with what Mr.meeker had said. i do agree and also wants deeply from my heart that my lovely dad also involved with my life’s precious matters. as I’m a sweet daughter of my dad and i love my dad so much. my dad and my mom is very……very……..very…………close to my heart. if there is only one path to go other side of a mountain and downwards is a river than i’m absolutely ready to let my dad and mom go first. it doesn’t matters for me that i alive. for me my dad and my lovely mother is important. my dad loves me so much and i share everything with him. i want to tell tthe whole world that “I LOVE…LOVE….LOVE……….LOVE……LOVE MY DADDY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH.”

HI JEFF. SIR I’M ONLY A SWEET DAUGHTER OF MY FATHER SRINIVASA RAO. I’M 13 YEARS OLD NOW. MY FATHER LOVES ME SO MUCH. AND I WANT TO SHARE A SHORT STORY WITH YOU THAT” WHEN MY DAD BOUGHT A NEW BICYCLE FOR ME AND WITH THAT I WET TO FRIEND’S HOME WITHOUT TELLING MY DAD. HE WAS SO TENSED FOR ME AND WHEN I RETURNED HOME HE CRIED AND SHOUT ON ME A LITTLE. THAT WAS THE FIRST AND LAST DA WHEN MY FATHER BEAT ME” WHENEVER I CAME FROM SCHOOL WITH SAD FACE…HE GOT TENSED AND STARTS ASKING ME THAT WHAT HAPPENED…….SO THESE ARE THE MANY REASONS THAT SHOWS THAT HOW MUCH MY FATHER LOVES ME AND CARES FOR ME. I WANT TO TELL THIS TO ALL DAUGHTERS AROUND THE WORLD THAT THERE ARE A FEW LUCKY DAUGHTER TO GOT SUCH A LOVELY DAD WHO CAN FIGHT WITH THE LORD ALSO TO PROTECT HER DAUGHTER AT ANY COST. I AM ONE OF THE LUCKIEST DAUGHTER INTHE UNIVERSE TO GET SUCH A LOVELY FATHER.

Hi. Great article. What if you had none of these things, or even the opposite. What if a dad was abusive, physically and verbally, destroying his daughter’s confidence with insults, undermining her body with constant beatings. The insults carried on until he died, including unbelievable, untrue, nasty words that cannot be repeated here. What can a daughter possibly do, even when her dad is long gone, to heal all of the damage done and have a decent sense of self worth and be happy in her own skin, which she never has managed to be all of her life.

Hey jeff, nice article. I’m not a father right now, but i’ll be marrying sooner or later. But one day, I did have this dream about having a baby girl, and wondering how I’d raise her. Also, looking at the environment here, I really felt bad for what girls have to go through. But, do you advice me for a change in environment for them if the going gets real tough? How do I look at it? Help me out.