This is a cobbled together Section II. Originally part two was written last summer, but the Magic Pygmy Rabbits got that, so I had to do the best I could. Also, it should be noted that all of these apply to me as well. I’m not more enlightened because I live more purely, but rather because I see the world for what it is, and should be. Enjoy.

SECTION II

THE CAFETERIA THEORYOkay; you’re in a large cafeteria, eating your food. Suddenly you look over, and someone is staring at you. You look away for a second, and then look back, and he’s still staring! You start to get paranoid, and think he hates you, and what did you do to deserve this? And then you realize: they are trying to read the menu on the back wall.

Maybe you’re not quite that paranoid, but we all go through this. We get so wrapped up in ourselves, thinking we are so ugly, or so badly dressed, or such an awful person, that everyone else is noticing it and thinking bad about us. The truth is, unless you’re a celebrity, the odds are no one is thinking twice about you. Just like you, they are wrapped up in themselves. They are looking at the menu behind you, not you. We would all be well-served to take a deep breath and remember that no one is thinking about us. That may seem sad, but take it to heart and it’s liberating.

THE LOST LAWNever tell someone they have lost weight, even it it’s obvious. If you have to say something nice (and I recommend it), tell them they look good. Very few people will take that badly, but to tell someone they have lost weight can lead to all sorts of hurt that you’re not intending. Play it smart.

COROLLARYYou can always find something nice to say about someone, and it almost never hurts you to do so. In other words, never miss a chance to make someone else feel good.

THE LAW OF FIRST IMPRESSIONSFirst impressions are important to many. Often we only see people for a few seconds, and have to make a snap judgment. This can be valuable. After all; if someone is coming at you with a knife and a ski mask, the odds aren’t all that high he is looking to go snowboarding.

However, those first impressions are a form of profiling, since you don’t know the person, and while profiling is how humans categorize and determine their world, it’s not how to get to know someone. Not only are first impressions often wrong, THEY ARE ALWAYS WRONG. People—even the worst of them—are not two dimensional. We have different facets to our personality that we don’t show all at once. Whether you’re seeing people on their worst day or their best, they are not always like that. To get to know people, you must spend time with them, and if you make that first impression your overriding factor, you’ll never get to know the real person.

THE UNIVERSAL TRUTHSWe all have secrets; even the best and purest of us.

We all think things that scare us and we’d never let anyone else know.

We all want people to like us, even if we go about it in the worst possible way.

We all want to be needed.

We all need to be wanted.

We all want to be important.

We all want to be cherished.

We all want to be loved.

We all have things we wish others knew about us that they don’t.

We all have things we’re terrified others will find out.

We’re all much worse people than we pretend to be.

We’re all also much better.

THE LAW OF ATTORNEYSThere is a rule among attorneys that goes: “When examining a witness, never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.” That’s good advice for lawyers. However, in life, it should be just the opposite. To ask questions you already know the answer to is dishonest. There is no other reason than to set people up. Do not be someone who does this, and be very suspicious of someone who does it to you.

LAW OF MOTHERSMy mother is the best. And the baddest mother? Shaft.

THE BULLSEYE THEORYWhen people criticize us, we absolutely hate what they get wrong. They make these judgments about us, without knowing the full story, and they butcher our intentions, our motives, our actions, and our heart. It’s awful. However, in most cases, what we hate the most is not the 95% they may get wrong, but the 5% they get right. It’s when people—whether friends or strangers—hit us dead center, that we feel the most vulnerable. We feel our walls crumbling, and we’re about to be exposed. This is usually what we react in anger to the most; not what they got wrong, but what they got right.

THE LAW OF IRONIC VIRTUEWhat people value most is often what they have the most trouble with themselves. Or, to put it another way, what people condemn the most is often what they themselves struggle over.

THE LAW OF CRITICISMNobody likes to hear criticism. And, when hearing something negative, it is human nature to react negatively. You can’t judge someone for that. However, the mark of a Quality person is someone, whom, upon more mature consideration, can see the truth in what’s offered and realize that change is needed. It may take them an hour or a day (or two years), but when they come to you and say, “I see now you’re right; I need to change.” That person is a keeper for life.

THE KENNY ROGERS RULEYou can’t bluff somebody who isn’t bluffing. This is true in gambling, but even more so in life. We all bluff, by saying things we don’t mean, won’t do, or can’t imagine. For the most part we’re successful, because few people like confrontation, and, everyone else is bluffing too. But, you cannot bluff someone who isn’t bluffing, who is prepared to do whatever whenever at the drop of a hat. You’d be wise to remember that.

THE LAW OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESSThis might be the hardest to accept. Think about the last fight or argument you were in. Remember how you were right and the other person was wrong? That’s how everyone feels. About everything. With the exception of a few sociopaths, people think they are right about everything, or they wouldn’t do what they do. As hard as it is to believe (no matter where you are politically), both the Conservatives and the Liberals want the world to be better. Both sides think their plan is the right one. Both sides are positive the opponents are just in it to gain power.

On a more personal level, the same goes for family, friends, and co-workers. Whatever they are doing to hurt, anger, annoy, or frustrate you probably isn’t aimed at you at all, and if it is, it’s for some injustice they think you’ve done to them. It would help us tremendously if we were to remember that most people are not evil, and genuinely do think they are right about everything, just as we do. In important matters, it’s our job to convince the hearts and minds of those opposed to us of what we see as the truth, and it’s just as important to be open-minded to truth we may not yet posses. As for unimportant things? Let those things go, or let the people go. You can’t do both.

And that’s the way it is.

HyperionApril 26, 2004

CreditsThanks to Tootsie

Motto ExplanationThe title The Hyperionic Code is a take off of Hammurabi’s Code, which you can read for yourself at: http://www.wsu.edu/~dee/MESO/CODE.HTM If you think I’m bad you should check out him. Seriously; he’s a riot.