Welcome to Toronto Sun Cover Reviews, a blog on which I post daily reviews of Toronto Sun covers.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

1 November 2011

Front and centre: Please allow me to introduce Dr. Charles Smith, a former child forensic pathologist who worked at the Hospital for Sick Children. This guy used to perform autopsies on children, until people found out that--yikes!--he didn't really know how to do autopsies very well. In fact, he was the worst man in the autopsy biz! Thanks to his incompetence, a bunch of innocent people went to jail and his medical license was revoked. Anyway, Dr. Charles Smith is on the cover of the news today because, for some reason, he was invited to give a talk at a high school in Picton last Friday. (WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR SCHOOLS???) His talk was on the subject of "DNA," but it seems like a more fitting topic would have been "Screwing Up Autopsies For Your Whole Career." Know what I mean? Jeez. When I was in high school, all we had was a motivational speaker who played guitar with his feet and told us to follow our hearts. Times have changed, my friends!

Top: It's the Toronto Sun's 40th birthday today. To celebrate this milestone, the Sun has invited its original squad of Sunshine Girls (now in their 60s and early 70s) to pose again in a series of super sexy "Where Are They Now?" pictures. Also: lottery.

Bottom: The Arizona B-Bar & Grill is now offering Beers of the World. I don't know about this. Isn't Molson Ex good enough anymore? I liked the Arizona B-Bar & Grill back in the old rough and tumble days when it didn't cater to sophisticates and dandies from abroad.

Summary: "Who wants to hear a story about the silliest autopsy I ever did?"

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The Toronto Sun is the city of Toronto's most reactionary/hilarious newspaper, with a broad readership that includes everyone from old men who wear track pants and fish in the Don River to young women with Support Our Troops tramp stamps.