Kim Jong-un developing capacity to throw toys and dummies to US mainland

It is inevitable that toys and dummies will be thrown all the way to mainland US from Kim Yong-un’s pram, the North Korean leader has said.

Following a week in which he and Donald Trump both threw all their toys in each other’s general direction, Mr Kim plans to test a device capable of striking US mainland targets with Junior Lego bricks plus a half-full pot of yoghurt and the spoon he was eating it with.

It comes after Mr Trump threw some Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Shapes and a Big Boy’s Training Nappy further in North Korea’s direction than any US president in the 21st century.

Announcing his intention in a rare public address on North Korea’s state-run TV network, Mr Kim stared into the camera, put a wet, chubby hand over lens, pushed it over and started to cry.

A North Korean official said: “I’m afraid he gets like this when he’s tired.”

Mr Trump said: “Rocket man is on a suicide mission. Superman is flying around the moon and Spiderman is fighting The Hulk. Look. I did a drawing.