HUMOR: SOCIAL, POLITICAL, PHILOSOPHICAL

“You’re probably asking why it took six days to create the earth, and was it absolutely necessary to rest on the seventh. And I’m sure you think Heaven would be a little more effective, if they merged some of the various religions.” ~ Jamie Dimon, chief executive of J.P. Morgan Chase, delivering a eulogy (2015-6-21) for Jimmy Lee, famed J.P. Morgan deal maker. (NY Times Quotation of the Day)

“We don`t want any quid pro quos. But anxious quid are happening here and quos are happening here and as long as they show up at the same dinners and go to work at the same offices, they can kind of merrily clink glasses and that is the world of big-time campaigns.” ~ Chris Hayes, “All In with Chris Hayes”, January 24, 2014 (From show transcript: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/54192344/ns/msnbc-all_in_with_chris_hayes/)

“I recently heard [Newt Gingrich] say that Obama is a ‘Robin Hood socialist’. How far off the path of decency do you have to wander to read the Robin Hood legend and identify with the Sheriff?” ~ Dylan Brody, from “Chronological Disorder” [Played on KPFT (10:30PM, June 7, 2012) PLAY HERE at about the 12:50 mark]

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“You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there is a ‘Luxury Tax’, ‘Community Chest’ and the Banker can still get thrown in jail.”~ Jeb Brovsky ‏(@JebBrovsky), September 3, 2012

“We must acknowledge, once and for all, that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis.” ~ Mr. Spock (Character), comment on diplomacy in the Star Trek episode “The Mark of Gideon” (Originally aired January 17, 1969)

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“”Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggy, nice doggy’ until you can find a stick.” ~ attributed to Former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage

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After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now … I have a $1,500,000.00 home, a $70,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 74-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems. ~ Unknown

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“I reject your reality and substitute my own.” ~ Adam Savage, Co-host of Mythbusters, expressing his disappointment when a result did not turn out as he predicted.

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“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.” ~ Richard S. “Kinky” Friedman (born November 1, 1944[1]) (Musician, one-time independent candidate for governor of Texas),

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“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison, science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 – )

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“Ignorance is a correctable condition. Stupid is forever” – Unknown

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“Groucho Marx is the only actor I ever allowed to ad-lib in a show I wrote. That was because I couldn’t stop him.” ~ George S. Kaufman on the liner notes of An Evening With Groucho (1972) [From Wikiquotes]

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An Interesting Theory On How Newly Discovered Places Get Their Names (From the novel “Roma Eterna”, by Robert Silverberg (2003) in Chapter “The Second Wave, A.U.C. 1861″)

“…So here we are in Yucatan. A strange sort of name for a place, that is! What do you think it means, Titus?”

“‘I don’t understand you.’”

“Pardon me? I thought I was speaking very clearly, Titus. I said, ‘What do you think it means?’ I was referring to Yucatan.”

Drusus chuckled. “I heard you. And I answered you. You asked a question, and Haraldus or one of his friends asked the natives the name of their kingdom, they answered “Yucatan’, which I’m almost certain is not the name of the place at all, but merely means …”