Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What is it about me that makes my male authors want to use emoticons in their emails? Are all academics needy, socially dysfunctional, freak shows, or just the ones that work with me?

Case in point:

Dear [Author]:Thank you for your recent re-submission to the Journal of Fun and Wonderment. Our faculty editor (an expert in this field) has reviewed the changes you've made to your manuscript, and finds them satisfactory. As such, we are pleased to extend to you an offer of publication for the next Volume. [blah blah] Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I look forward to working with you.

-NB

----------------------------------------------------------------NB:Are you happy with my changes??-Author

----------------------------------------------------------------Dear [Author]:Perhaps I need to clarify. I am satisfied with your changes, and am pleased to extend a formal offer of publication to you.

If you figure out how to manufacture some sort of special snowflake repellent we are bottling it, selling it, and retiring to be fabulous martini sipping millionaires. Obviously, I will help. Probably by being a tester.

Also--my security word is "hevent." I think a he-vent sounds delightful. Where do they hold these? I should throw a he-vent and see if I can get any non-special snowflakes to come.