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Alex Biffin, one of the dancers for Thunder From Down Under in Las Vegas, echoes this sentiment.“Our show is fully choreographed, and it’s very interactive,” he says. There is that element of being sexy, but it's also a time for [the women] to laugh and be with their friends.” That's an important point to note: Not all women go to these shows for sexual titillation. That's something I absolutely tapped into — one of the photos my new friends took of me mid-lap dance was with my head thrown back in laughter.The original Copa is where my grandparents had their first date in the '50s. And now the name is synonymous with oiled-up male dancers with man buns.The latest iteration of the Copacabana is placed right smack in the middle of Times Square.And while Hunk-O-mania wasn’t as choreographed as the videos I’ve seen of Thunder, they did share one major similarity — the men came out into the audience to interact with the women.

And so clubs where men stripped started cropping up across America. But the authors doubted whether women actually enjoyed being in control.“I still rock the underwear,” he’d told me, pulling up the elastic band of his boxer briefs and snapping them against his abs. (In the event you don’t have cash, the stripper will pull out his Square for a credit card swipe.) Denise*, one of the women I’d befriended since I was there alone, was smiling with pure elation as a huge guy in skimpy blue briefs gyrated in her face.On stage, one of the dancers had pinned a woman in a plastic bachelorette crown against the wall and was grinding up against her as her friends threw singles at him. But as I looked around, I had one overwhelming question: Was this sexy?According to the study, the clubs succeeded in making women equal from a financial standpoint — they were paying male dancers the same way that men pay female dancers.But the women weren’t stepping into the role of aggressor, so the male dancers had to engage with the audience more than a female dancer would with a male audience.

I realized that I’d felt more sexually liberated with my vibrator and some feminist porn.