Charita Goshay: How the rich and famous get so rich

Wednesday

Jul 25, 2007 at 12:01 AMJul 25, 2007 at 7:54 AM

Columnist Charita Goshay says celebs have far too many demands for the Pro Football Hall of Fame festivities.

Charita Goshay

I don’t know. If I was a musician who hadn’t had a hit in 20 years, I don’t
think I’d demand that six white, Egyptian-cotton towels be folded according
to my exact specifications, or that a certain size of grape be served to me
on a “Flintstones” TV tray by a Filipino butler who’d better not look me in
the eye.

I’d just be happy if the check cleared.

For years, the people who put together the Pro Football Hall of Fame
festivities have torn out their hair to secure celebrities and musical acts
that fans enjoy -- or at least, still remember. Though the festival is about
the enshrinees, many people still want to see someone other than a guy who’s
famous for knocking other people into next week.

It’s amazing how fame can spoil a celebrity, although performing at a rib
burnoff has to be one of the last stops just before a “Hey, I Thought You
Were Dead!” TV special.

Yet, even the demands of a so-over celebrity can stretch beyond the pale.

The Pointer Sisters became legends here for their diva-like refusal to share
a dressing room or even a two-block ride in the same limo. Imagine having to
jump through such ludicrous hoops for three people who probably grew up
sleeping in the same bed. It remains a mystery as to why any limo was needed
at all, given that their venue, at the intersection of Cleveland Avenue N
and Tuscarawas Street W, was a stone’s throw from the Hilton Hotel, where
they were staying. I walked to the concert from my office. Why couldn’t
they?

According to … Whom?

Appearance fees demanded by celebrities can border on the insane. A couple
of years ago, the festival committee attempted to secure Jim Belushi, the
star of ABC’s “According to Jim,” but it couldn’t afford his five-figure
asking price.

Your Aunt Tillie is funnier than Jim Belushi.

These days, celebrity is so lucrative, the festival soon won’t be able to
afford “American Idol” rejects. Perhaps the problem’s in the marketing.

Perhaps the festival should be presented to tattered celebs as a way for
them to repair their images. Riding on a float beats rehab, doesn’t it? It’s
a good deal, especially if you’re an ex-con like, say, Paris Hilton, or a
wild-child like Lindsay Lohan, who’s heading around the bend faster than a
speed-skater on crack.

The real problem is, if a celebrity isn’t a true football fan, he or she has
very little incentive to make it as easy as possible on the festival
planners. And in all fairness, it is called show “business.”

It’s Not Opera, Doc

Cleveland native Drew Carey, singer Darius Rucker of Hootie and the
Blowfish, and film star Linda Hamilton of “Terminator” fame, are celebrities
who are serious fans of the game, and couldn’t have been nicer during their
respective visits, though they were being paid for it.

When it comes to celebrity appearances, the famous almost always get what
they want, no matter how goofy the request. It’s clear that some do it just
because they can. According to Chris Gumpp, events manager for the Hall of
Fame Ribs Burnoff and a woman who must possess the patience of Job, country
singer Sammy Kershaw’s 2003 contract demanded that his dressing room include
a framed picture of Bugs Bunny. Someone should have posted a sign beneath
it, bearing some of the wisdom of that wascally wabbit: “What a
maroon.”