There's a reason the Goldman Sachs Private Internet Company Conference is held in Vegas, and not, say, Northern Virginia. The "fuckfest" weekend is a fat, ripe chance for bankers to give startup crews—who might go public someday—the drunken time of their lives.

According to a tipster, after a day of presentations and networking, Goldman rented out a large swath of Light nightclub at the Mandalay Bay resort and casino—where bottled water is $8, and tables start at three grand. It's simple: give dreamy-eyed nerds a taste of the fabulous life early, and if they ever come close to going public, they'll think fondly of that time Anthony Noto got them all fucked up on bottle service. Or not—when I asked our tipster exactly how drunk everyone was that night, they replied only "I wish I remembered." Mission accomplished.