Other Funny and - Well, Not So Funny Horse Quotes

-Three-day eventing exhortation on how
to get to the other side of a cross-country obstacle

The left side is the right side,
and the right side is the wrong side.

-Maxim about where to mount and dismount

All King Edward's Horses Canter
Many Big Fences.

-Mnemonic for the A-K-E-H-C-M-B-F letters
around a dressage arena

Had I but known about breathing
in my youth, how much simpler my competitive riding life would have been.

-Victor Hugo-Vidal

The riding of young horses is an
excellent nerve tonic.

-Geoffrey Brooke

A perfect book on riding could
be written only by a horse.

-Vladimir S. Littauer

A cowboy is man with guts and a
horse.

-Attributed to Will James

Keep one leg on one side, the other
leg on the other side, and your mind in the middle.

-Henry Taylor

Experienced riders are not prone
to brag. And usually newcomers, if they start out being boastful, end up modest.

-C. J. J. Mullen

May your belly never grumble,

May your heart never ache.

May your horse never stumble,

May your cinch never break.

-Cowboy Blessing

Don't fall off.

-Advice given by Hollie Hughes, and elderly
trainer

A racetrack is a place where the
human race is secondary.

-Anonymous

Losers walking around with money
in their pockets are always dangerous, not to be trusted. Some horse always reaches out and grabs
them.

-Bill Barich

If horses knew their strength we
should not ride anymore.

-Mark Twain

Certain comic effects can be acheived
by a brand-new rider, especially a man who dresses like a fashion model and rides like a tailor.

-C. J. J. Mullen

Anyone who is concerned about his
dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

-Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

You can tell a gelding, you can
ask a mare, but you must discuss it with a stallion.

-Anonymous

Speak kindly to your little horse,

And soothe him when he wheezes,

Or he may turn his back on you,

And kick you where he pleases.

-Anonymous

An exhibitor went up to a horse
show judge to complain about being placed below someone who made some sort of mistake, such as
being on the wrong lead. The judge's explanation: "The other guy did it better wrong than you did
it right."

-Anonymous

A horse is dangerous at both ends
and uncomfortable in the middle.

-Ian Fleming

How do you catch a loose horse?
Make a sound like a carrot.

-British Cavalry joke

I prefer a bike to a horse. The
brakes are more easily checked.

-Lambert Jeffries

You can lead a horse to water,
but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

-Joe E. Lewis

When the horse dies, dismount.

-Anonymous

Horses are something to dream about...and
to wish for; fun to watch...and to make friends with; nice to pat... and great to hug: and, oh,
what a joy to ride!

-Dorothy Henderson Pinch

It's difficult to water a horse
that won't lower its head.

-Finnish Proverb

But a horse is a labor of love
as well as a responsibility, an aesthetic as well as a dynamic pleasure, something to contemplate
as well as to ride.

-Sarah Montague

When I hear somebody talk about
a horse or a cow being stupid, I figure it's a sure sign that animal has outfoxed them.

-Tom Dorance

Stable thinking is the ability
to say "neigh".

-Source Unknown

You can lead a horse to water...if
you got a horse.

-English Proverb

The first horse to drink doesn't
get dirty water.

Nigerian Proverb

Folk songs? They're all folk
songs - I never head a horse sing.

-Louis "Satchimo" Armstrong

There is no greater pleasure than
a nice ride on a nice horse on a beautiful day.

-Judy Richter

The horse is, like man, the most
beautiful and the most miserable of creatures.

-Rosa Bonheur

A horse is worth more than riches.

-Spanish Proverb

Steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has
the whirlwind a home in your manes?

-Nikolay Gogol

There is no need of spurs when
a horse is running away.

-Publicus Syrus

A lovely horse is always an experience...
It is an emotional experience of the kind that is spoiled by words.

-Beryl Markham

I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk
and melodious neigh is was. My very heart leaped with the sound. -Nathaniel Hawthorne

I love the horse from hoof to head.
From head to hoof to mane. I love the horse as I have said- From head to hoof and back again.

James Whitcomb Riley

... When I looked at life from
the saddle and was as near to heaven as it was possible to be.

-Frances, Countess of Warwick

There is nothing in which a horse's
power is better revealed than in a neat, clean stop.

-Michel De Montaigne

You can't control a young horse
unless you control yourself.

-Lincoln Steffens

It's what you learn after you know
it all that's important.

-Legendary Californian rider and trainer
Jimmy Williams

Riding is simple...it's just not
easy.

-Anonymous

Every time you ride, you're either
teaching or un-teaching your horse.

-Gordon Wright

Half of the failures in life arise
from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.

-Julius and Augustus Hare

I never play
horseshoes because mother taught us not to throw our clothes around.

-Mr. Ed [the "talking
horse" of the 1960's TV series

In what other
sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet-covered
cap, and leather gloves, and then go out and ride?

-A. London Wolf

Want to end
up with a million bucks in the horse business? Start out with five million.

-Anonymous

That hoss wasn't
built to tread the earth,

He took natural
to the air,

And every time
he went aloft,

He tried to
leave me there.

Horses do think.
Not very deeply, perhaps, but enough to get you into a lot of trouble.

-Patricia Jacobson and
Marcia Hayes

Riding-the art
of keeping a horse between you and the ground.

-Anonymous

I ride horses
because it's the only sport where I can exercise while sitting down.