Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Broken Item of the Week

Yes, Gentle Readers! By popular demand I bring you this week's Broken Item.
I present to you, Moses:

My husband says he can't be Moses unless the printing press was developed sooner than history relates. Anyway I call him Moses. My husband bought him before we were married (in the dark ages) so he's been around here for awhile.

We owned a small house in Halifax when the girls were just babies so Moses was relegated to our bedroom. One night, very late, after everyone was asleep, the phone rang. Now I don't know about you but when the phone rings in the middle of the night, it scares me to death. Husband leapt out of bed in a single bound, ran to get the phone and smashed his toes into poor old Moses. He crashed to the ground with a resounding thud. ( Moses I mean.)

He is so heavy, I had to leave him in the corner to take the pictures.

He's a garden statue for heaven's sake! However, he lives on in our living room. Broken but not defeated.

I'm on Stephen's team; I don't think it's Moses. The bible is a giveaway. Moses would have tablets, not a book. I've been googling "Saint holding bible and baseball bat" but no luck. St. Rita is the patron saint of baseball but something tells me that's not St. Rita. I would swear that it's Jesus but my mother always said that Jesus doesn't like swearing so I won't go there. I think it's just Generic Religious Dude.

Praise be that you weren't leaping out of bed after a pot of tea! It looks to me like a bible but I think the bat is a smoting stick with which one smotes things. I must get one for the bush turkeys. Then I could make a smote tote. It is late here in Australia, Deb and I have too many children!

I think St Patrick preferred to execute his smoting with a staff and always wore a pointy bishop's hat. This is indeed a mystery. Could it be Forrest Gump when he is tired of running and needs a crutch?

St Jude, Deb! He was often depicted with a club and/ or epistle and is the Patron Saint of Lost Causes. Could this be relevant to the broken- item- of- the- week series and his own statue's resultant martyrdom?