Would you judge the parents of a very skinny toddler?

When you see a very skinny toddler (I mean ribs showing and little or no padding) do you wonder if they are being fed properly? If this was someones child that you know would you say something to the parents or call DHS? Would you assume it was genetic? If so, what if the parents were overweight? Would you then think there was something wrong or are some toddlers just super skinny? Would you be more worried about the very overweight toddler or the very skinny one?

When you see a very skinny toddler (I mean ribs showing and little or no padding) do you wonder if they are being fed properly? If this was someones child that you know would you say something to the parents or call DHS? Would you assume it was genetic? If so, what if the parents were overweight? Would you then think there was something wrong or are some toddlers just super skinny? Would you be more worried about the very overweight toddler or the very skinny one?

Not really ..i dont really jump to conclusions.. the child might just have a fast metabolism.. my little cousin is skin and bones...but she can eat you outta house n home. so when strangers see her they assume that her mother isn't feeding her. so they are pretty much on the outside tryin to look in.

Not really ..i dont really jump to conclusions.. the child might just have a fast metabolism.. my little cousin is skin and bones...but she can eat you outta house n home. so when strangers see her they assume that her mother isn't feeding her. so they are pretty much on the outside tryin to look in.

Do you think you would feel different if you did not know your little cousin?Â I had a friend with an extremely skinny baby. I used to worry about her and wonder if her mom was feeding her all of her meals. I never said anything about it to my friend, but wondered if I should. She is 3 now and just started filling outÂ a little. Now I have a very skinny toddler that has not put on weight in a year. I wonder if people a wondering if I feed her. I get dirty looks from people sometimes.

Do you think you would feel different if you did not know your little cousin?Â I had a friend with an extremely skinny baby. I used to worry about her and wonder if her mom was feeding her all of her meals. I never said anything about it to my friend, but wondered if I should. She is 3 now and just started filling outÂ a little. Now I have a very skinny toddler that has not put on weight in a year. I wonder if people a wondering if I feed her. I get dirty looks from people sometimes.

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.Thomas Jefferson

From:
JulesLivesHere

To: ZailysMama

Posted: Mar-22 10:32 PM (5 of 39)

I think it's a lot harder to tell when a toddler is underweight than when they are overweight. My best friend has twin girls who were born at 27 weeks and because of that they have always been very skinny. So much so that at every doctors appointment my best friend and her husband were sent home with a list of high fat foods that the girls were supposed to eat to help them get their weight up. Their thighs were actually indented from the lack of fat on them. But when they had their clothes on, it was almost impossible to tell; they looked just like any other toddler. They're coming up on three now and are finally where they should be when it comes to their weight, but unless you really look at them you couldn't tell a difference.

My daughter is very skinny, but again people rarely notice when she's wearing clothes. I just think it's harder to notice when toddlers are underweight.

As for questioning how they're being fed, I don't know, it's tough for me to answer this in an across the board way. I think snap judgments on diet for me would depend on how underweight and how overweight they are and how old they are. I tend to be more capable of withholding judgments when children are young, because I know that being born premature, having allergies, along with any number of factors influence a baby's weight. When I was six months old I was a rolly polly baby lol. I was BF and just naturally a very chubby baby. When I started walking though, all of that baby weight just disappeared.

If a child is older and very obviously underweight or overweight, that's when I'd start to wonder about their eating habits (both would be equally worrying to me, just in different ways...I'd probably worry about the underweight child's immediate health, and the overweight child's long-term health, for example.), and whether they were being fed a healthy diet. I still try to withhold the snap judgments on their possible diets as much as possible, but I'll admit that it can be a struggle.

I think it's a lot harder to tell when a toddler is underweight than when they are overweight. My best friend has twin girls who were born at 27 weeks and because of that they have always been very skinny. So much so that at every doctors appointment my best friend and her husband were sent home with a list of high fat foods that the girls were supposed to eat to help them get their weight up. Their thighs were actually indented from the lack of fat on them. But when they had their clothes on, it was almost impossible to tell; they looked just like any other toddler. They're coming up on three now and are finally where they should be when it comes to their weight, but unless you really look at them you couldn't tell a difference.

My daughter is very skinny, but again people rarely notice when she's wearing clothes. I just think it's harder to notice when toddlers are underweight.

As for questioning how they're being fed, I don't know, it's tough for me to answer this in an across the board way. I think snap judgments on diet for me would depend on how underweight and how overweight they are and how old they are. I tend to be more capable of withholding judgments when children are young, because I know that being born premature, having allergies, along with any number of factors influence a baby's weight. When I was six months old I was a rolly polly baby lol. I was BF and just naturally a very chubby baby. When I started walking though, all of that baby weight just disappeared.

If a child is older and very obviously underweight or overweight, that's when I'd start to wonder about their eating habits (both would be equally worrying to me, just in different ways...I'd probably worry about the underweight child's immediate health, and the overweight child's long-term health, for example.), and whether they were being fed a healthy diet. I still try to withhold the snap judgments on their possible diets as much as possible, but I'll admit that it can be a struggle.

Sort of a touchy subject for sure. I personally know that kids can go through "phases" (also known as growth spurts lol) where their weight may not fluctuate, however the look of their weight does. My son eats all day every day. He's almost forty pounds, three feet tall, but he's only two and is very much a toddler. Sometimes he has the "toddler shape" (the poochy belly, chunky face, a little extra chin) but when he's going through a growth spurt he literally is skin and bones. Regardless of how he looks he has always been 95th percentile or above. I have had people make comments that are either rude or just genuinely concerned when he goes through a growth spurt, but those comments are usually placated when I explain he's going through one and show them all of the food I carry around in my purse (because we're always on the go and tend not to be home for daytime meals or snack time). To the rude ones I just let it slide, because it really is a case of someone on the outside looking in. My biggest frustration is when pants that normally fit start falling off of him lol. Such a pain and kind of embarrassing when his clothes literally fall off in the middle of the store or an office.

No issues with DD yet but she's just about to turn one in a couple of weeks so it'll start with her too. She's packing on the lbs herself because she's starting to walk and definitely going through a growth spurt herself but she still has alllllll of that extra baby chub to redistribute so it doesn't effect how she looks weightwise yet.

Sort of a touchy subject for sure. I personally know that kids can go through "phases" (also known as growth spurts lol) where their weight may not fluctuate, however the look of their weight does. My son eats all day every day. He's almost forty pounds, three feet tall, but he's only two and is very much a toddler. Sometimes he has the "toddler shape" (the poochy belly, chunky face, a little extra chin) but when he's going through a growth spurt he literally is skin and bones. Regardless of how he looks he has always been 95th percentile or above. I have had people make comments that are either rude or just genuinely concerned when he goes through a growth spurt, but those comments are usually placated when I explain he's going through one and show them all of the food I carry around in my purse (because we're always on the go and tend not to be home for daytime meals or snack time). To the rude ones I just let it slide, because it really is a case of someone on the outside looking in. My biggest frustration is when pants that normally fit start falling off of him lol. Such a pain and kind of embarrassing when his clothes literally fall off in the middle of the store or an office.

No issues with DD yet but she's just about to turn one in a couple of weeks so it'll start with her too. She's packing on the lbs herself because she's starting to walk and definitely going through a growth spurt herself but she still has alllllll of that extra baby chub to redistribute so it doesn't effect how she looks weightwise yet.

My daughter who will be 3 in June was taller and weighed more than my nephew over 6 months ago. He was 4 in February. Both my niece and nephew are tiny. On of my best friend's sons was 3 this past November, her son is still right around 24 pounds. He eats amazingly well, he's just tiny.

My daughter who will be 3 in June was taller and weighed more than my nephew over 6 months ago. He was 4 in February. Both my niece and nephew are tiny. On of my best friend's sons was 3 this past November, her son is still right around 24 pounds. He eats amazingly well, he's just tiny.

I won't lie when it comes to diet, DS doesn't have the greatest diet in the world. Unfortunately he is going through this "I'm picky and won't eat that" phase. I can get chicken, some veggies, and other various healthy foods into him, but there are days where he will only eat pizza for lunch, eat cookies for snack (nilla wafers or the 100 calorie pack things) or the days he will only drink milk and eat yogurt. Seriously, this kid ate six cups of yogurt (no not the kid trix type yogurts, I get regular adult fruits yogurts) in one sitting and washed it down with chocolate milk. Fortunately he loves his vitamins and milk. I don't judge unless a kid is seriously overweight for their age (and I agree with PP, this pretty much applies after the baby/toddler phase of life).

I won't lie when it comes to diet, DS doesn't have the greatest diet in the world. Unfortunately he is going through this "I'm picky and won't eat that" phase. I can get chicken, some veggies, and other various healthy foods into him, but there are days where he will only eat pizza for lunch, eat cookies for snack (nilla wafers or the 100 calorie pack things) or the days he will only drink milk and eat yogurt. Seriously, this kid ate six cups of yogurt (no not the kid trix type yogurts, I get regular adult fruits yogurts) in one sitting and washed it down with chocolate milk. Fortunately he loves his vitamins and milk. I don't judge unless a kid is seriously overweight for their age (and I agree with PP, this pretty much applies after the baby/toddler phase of life).

I do know that there are several thongs that can lead to a thin child, such as autism or a developmental delay that makes the child a super picky eater. I wouldn't judge an otherwise healthy looking, active, well-groomed toddler based on thinness alone regardless of how the parents look.

Now, if there were any other signs of abuse or neglect, or if there was any other reason to suspect the family might be in financial straits then I would contact the authorities.

I do know that there are several thongs that can lead to a thin child, such as autism or a developmental delay that makes the child a super picky eater. I wouldn't judge an otherwise healthy looking, active, well-groomed toddler based on thinness alone regardless of how the parents look.

Now, if there were any other signs of abuse or neglect, or if there was any other reason to suspect the family might be in financial straits then I would contact the authorities.

People say things all the time. In grocery stores, parking lots, parks, etc... I've been hearing it since she was born. It starts out with trying to guess her age, then when they find out she is at least six months older than they guessed they ask if she was premature. After I tell them no, they start telling me what I should offer her to eat. I've had strangers try to feed her junk food.

Of course I am worried about her. I don't know if it is normal or not.Â She goes to her Dr, for weight checks often.Â I make sure she eats healthy most of the time, but she will only eat so much.Â

She is currently 2 1/2 years, 21 lb, and 33 inches tall.Â She has not gained any weight in a full year. However sheÂ did gain 5 inches at 23 months...so now she looks even smaller.Â This has been so stressful it is one of the reasons we are not planning on having anymore biological children.Â If I am doing something wrong I would love to know what it is!Â Â Â

I have know idea what is wrong with her and it hurts when people blame me. If she was someone else's dd I might wonder though.

People say things all the time. In grocery stores, parking lots, parks, etc... I've been hearing it since she was born. It starts out with trying to guess her age, then when they find out she is at least six months older than they guessed they ask if she was premature. After I tell them no, they start telling me what I should offer her to eat. I've had strangers try to feed her junk food.

Of course I am worried about her. I don't know if it is normal or not.Â She goes to her Dr, for weight checks often.Â I make sure she eats healthy most of the time, but she will only eat so much.Â

She is currently 2 1/2 years, 21 lb, and 33 inches tall.Â She has not gained any weight in a full year. However sheÂ did gain 5 inches at 23 months...so now she looks even smaller.Â This has been so stressful it is one of the reasons we are not planning on having anymore biological children.Â If I am doing something wrong I would love to know what it is!Â Â Â

I have know idea what is wrong with her and it hurts when people blame me. If she was someone else's dd I might wonder though.

I was just thinking of posting this topic today. Â I'm overweight and my toddler is very thin. Â She's in the 50th percentile for height and under the 3rd percentile for weight. Â She was also a micropreemie who was IUGR (small for her gestational age) when she was born. Â I always thought that had a lot to do with the fact that she didn't eat much, but now we're finding out that she probably has a connective tissue disorder that will cause her to always be tall and thin.

I also wonder what people think of me when they see me say to my underweight child that she can't have another cookie, when it looks like I eat all the cookies I want. Â But I'm also smart enough to know that feeding her sweets and unhealthy food are not the right way to help her gain weight. Â For a child who eats as little as she does, I have to make sure every bite counts nutritionally. Â The day that she finally eats all the protein, dairy, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains that she's supposed to, she can have whatever she wants for dessert that night. Â Until then, I'm going to keep pushing the bananas and sweet potatoes.Â To answer your question, I don't judge on first appearances a whole lot anymore, now that I've been in a position where looks can be deceiving. Â I'll admit though, that I would probably judge a parent feeding an extremely overweight child many unhealthy foods on a regular basis. Â I was that kid once, and I wish I could go back and trade my marshmallow fluff sandwich for turkey on whole wheat.

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I was just thinking of posting this topic today. Â I'm overweight and my toddler is very thin. Â She's in the 50th percentile for height and under the 3rd percentile for weight. Â She was also a micropreemie who was IUGR (small for her gestational age) when she was born. Â I always thought that had a lot to do with the fact that she didn't eat much, but now we're finding out that she probably has a connective tissue disorder that will cause her to always be tall and thin.

I also wonder what people think of me when they see me say to my underweight child that she can't have another cookie, when it looks like I eat all the cookies I want. Â But I'm also smart enough to know that feeding her sweets and unhealthy food are not the right way to help her gain weight. Â For a child who eats as little as she does, I have to make sure every bite counts nutritionally. Â The day that she finally eats all the protein, dairy, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains that she's supposed to, she can have whatever she wants for dessert that night. Â Until then, I'm going to keep pushing the bananas and sweet potatoes.Â To answer your question, I don't judge on first appearances a whole lot anymore, now that I've been in a position where looks can be deceiving. Â I'll admit though, that I would probably judge a parent feeding an extremely overweight child many unhealthy foods on a regular basis. Â I was that kid once, and I wish I could go back and trade my marshmallow fluff sandwich for turkey on whole wheat.

Thanks for your response. I think people usually think that my dd has something wrong with her.Â When I tell them that she does not they act surprised and then offer there opinions. Unfortunately nosey people have never given me any useful advice.

You mentioned that your dd is very skinny.Â Is she on the growth charts? Did she always gain the recommended amount of weight per year?Â My dd isÂ 2 1/2, barley 21 lb, and 33 inches.Â She has not gained in a year and is nowhere near the charts for weight. Â If my dd is normal she cant be the only one like this.

Honestly, If I was someone else I would judge me.

Thanks for your response. I think people usually think that my dd has something wrong with her.Â When I tell them that she does not they act surprised and then offer there opinions. Unfortunately nosey people have never given me any useful advice.

You mentioned that your dd is very skinny.Â Is she on the growth charts? Did she always gain the recommended amount of weight per year?Â My dd isÂ 2 1/2, barley 21 lb, and 33 inches.Â She has not gained in a year and is nowhere near the charts for weight. Â If my dd is normal she cant be the only one like this.

Â I have a very skinny son who is 5. Â He was a very skinny toddler also. Â His doctor told me it was just the way he is and not to stress. Â I have heard all the stupid Â comments about fattening him up. Â I usually answer with my own smart as- comment, such as "Well I give him a Â stick of butter rolled in sugar a day but it just doesn't seem to be helping" Â He has always been thin, never even had baby fat really, except in his cheeks. Â

I might judge, if i saw someone super skinny. Â It is rare to see here as most of the kids with weight issues are not skinny but are chunky or overweight. Â I wouldn't say anything to them, as it isn't my place. Â I would never call DHS. Â Â Â

Â I have a very skinny son who is 5. Â He was a very skinny toddler also. Â His doctor told me it was just the way he is and not to stress. Â I have heard all the stupid Â comments about fattening him up. Â I usually answer with my own smart as- comment, such as "Well I give him a Â stick of butter rolled in sugar a day but it just doesn't seem to be helping" Â He has always been thin, never even had baby fat really, except in his cheeks. Â

I might judge, if i saw someone super skinny. Â It is rare to see here as most of the kids with weight issues are not skinny but are chunky or overweight. Â I wouldn't say anything to them, as it isn't my place. Â I would never call DHS. Â Â Â

Hey Amici, just a tip that was given to my mom by my sister's pedi when she was a toddler (underweight issues) and my best friend who's daughter had the same issues. The doc said not to worry about the amount of whole milk they are getting and if they will drink it to give it to them and make sure they get a multivitamin geared toward their age range. I limit the milk because my kiddos are HUGE (we call them my moose babies) but because DS refuses to eat a balanced diet he has a flintstone vitamin every day per doc's instructions. HTH and good luck!

Hey Amici, just a tip that was given to my mom by my sister's pedi when she was a toddler (underweight issues) and my best friend who's daughter had the same issues. The doc said not to worry about the amount of whole milk they are getting and if they will drink it to give it to them and make sure they get a multivitamin geared toward their age range. I limit the milk because my kiddos are HUGE (we call them my moose babies) but because DS refuses to eat a balanced diet he has a flintstone vitamin every day per doc's instructions. HTH and good luck!

I know what you mean about cloths falling off. My dd was always very short so she just wore smaller sizes and looked younger. Now she is still short, but on the very low end of average. She wears a size 18 months inÂ pants but can fitÂ three months in the wast. I have been trying to find a belt, but they don't seem to make them in infant sizes.

I know what you mean about cloths falling off. My dd was always very short so she just wore smaller sizes and looked younger. Now she is still short, but on the very low end of average. She wears a size 18 months inÂ pants but can fitÂ three months in the wast. I have been trying to find a belt, but they don't seem to make them in infant sizes.

My dd definitely does not look neglected. Besides being small people tend to notice her because I always dress her up and she is very outgoing.Â I wish I had a medical or behavioral reason to give people when they ask about her. She is not picky. Just small and not growing. I am trying to get an answer though.

My dd definitely does not look neglected. Besides being small people tend to notice her because I always dress her up and she is very outgoing.Â I wish I had a medical or behavioral reason to give people when they ask about her. She is not picky. Just small and not growing. I am trying to get an answer though.

Thanks for the tip, but do you mean not to worry that she's getting too much or not to worry if she doesn't get enough? Â My daughter hates to drink. Â If we're lucky she'll get 8-10 oz of water and milk combined a day. Â She'll even eat a bagel with peanut butter or a plain donut and still refuse to drink anything. Â

Â

Thanks for the tip, but do you mean not to worry that she's getting too much or not to worry if she doesn't get enough? Â My daughter hates to drink. Â If we're lucky she'll get 8-10 oz of water and milk combined a day. Â She'll even eat a bagel with peanut butter or a plain donut and still refuse to drink anything. Â

I am so glad that I am not the only one that has wondered about this.Â I have had a weight problem ever since I gave birth. I am a stress eater. I live in a relatively small town and people tend to recognize me from my previous job. They can tell that I have gained a lot of weight. I have wondered loads of times if they think I am eating all of her food. I do have a terrible habit of finishing what she does not eat. It is hard to diet when I'm stressed and everything revolves around food.Â I also wonder if they are thinking that I am trying to prevent her from becoming over weight. Especially when I tell her no more cookies.

My dd is in the 4th percentile for height and nowhere near the chart for weight. Are all children with you dd'sÂ connective tissue disorder tall.Â Is it something that only micro preemies or babies born withÂ IUGR get? I have been looking everywhere for an answer. We will be doing lots of test soon.

I am so glad that I am not the only one that has wondered about this.Â I have had a weight problem ever since I gave birth. I am a stress eater. I live in a relatively small town and people tend to recognize me from my previous job. They can tell that I have gained a lot of weight. I have wondered loads of times if they think I am eating all of her food. I do have a terrible habit of finishing what she does not eat. It is hard to diet when I'm stressed and everything revolves around food.Â I also wonder if they are thinking that I am trying to prevent her from becoming over weight. Especially when I tell her no more cookies.

My dd is in the 4th percentile for height and nowhere near the chart for weight. Are all children with you dd'sÂ connective tissue disorder tall.Â Is it something that only micro preemies or babies born withÂ IUGR get? I have been looking everywhere for an answer. We will be doing lots of test soon.

Did you ds gain the recommended amount of weight per year?Â My dd does not have any delays, but her pediatrician is concerned about her brain development anyway. She terrifies me every time we go in. She says that she can not be developing normally if she is not gaining weight. It is good to hear about skinny kids that are fine.

Did you ds gain the recommended amount of weight per year?Â My dd does not have any delays, but her pediatrician is concerned about her brain development anyway. She terrifies me every time we go in. She says that she can not be developing normally if she is not gaining weight. It is good to hear about skinny kids that are fine.

I meant don't worry that she's getting too much. The biggest concern with giving toddlers too much milk is the fat content on top of the "higher fat" foods vs. formula/babyfood. It's the obesity epidemic that's the issue with the milk thing. Definitely not your problem :)

I meant don't worry that she's getting too much. The biggest concern with giving toddlers too much milk is the fat content on top of the "higher fat" foods vs. formula/babyfood. It's the obesity epidemic that's the issue with the milk thing. Definitely not your problem :)

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