Division-by-division All-Pro teams

Lemme get this straight, Edd Barker of Manchester, England: You’d like me to spend time during this week’s celebration of the USA contemplating who’d win a fictional playoff in which divisional rivals team up like “The Avengers”?

Great!

I gotta think me answering a pro football-related Twitter question sent from the UK is precisely what George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and their white-wigged pals had in mind two-and-a-half centuries ago. (Right?)

Now let’s get down to business. The NFL Network’s twin beacons of research/general pigskin knowledge, JJ Territo and Bill Smith, and I have formed a hastily assembled blue-ribbon panel to cobble together the starting 11 players on offense and defense for each division. No doubt some fans won’t like the omission of certain names. (I can already hear Seahawks wonks raging at the selection of Colin Kaepernick over Russell Wilson.) My suggestion: Get over it.

A few other quick notes: We’ve eschewed the fullback position in favor of adding a third wide receiver to each offensive lineup. (Sorry, old schoolers: If you haven’t heard, it’s a passing league … and besides, it’s more fun this way.) You’ll also see we’ve put the defenses into either 4-3 or 3-4 formations based on what we feel best suits the available talent. Additionally, please note we’ve skipped the special teams. Yeah, yeah, all three phases of the game are important. Then again, there’s a grilled wiener and several beers waiting for me — you can do it if you’re sufficiently upset by the grievous oversight.

Analysis: One man — even one as good as J.J. Watt — does not a defense make. Likewise, one team’s roster does not make for a great divisional squad, and the AFC South is too dependent on the Texans’ best players.

Analysis: The NFC West wins thanks a shutdown defense and a rugged offensive line that’ll brutalize all comers. Congratulations, coach Harbaugh — you’re No. 1! Let’s shake on it. Kudos to the NFC in general. Based on our conclusions, all conferences are not created equal. The debate on which division is most dynamic even drew enthusiasm from my friends at the Around the League blog, who kibitzed on the topic in a juicy email chain.

And thus completes our completely hypothetical project. In a little more than two months, we’ll have real football to occupy our minds and hearts. In the meantime, happy Fourth of July, everyone!