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Thursday, July 7, 2011

My father-in-law passed away yesterday afternoon after a brief battle with cancer (after winning the initial fight many years ago with prostate cancer). I take heart in knowing that he was comfortable and not feeling pain in the end and that he didn't have to go down the long, hard road that was in front of him if he had recovered from the initial surgery to remove his bladder.

It's odd to have to say good-bye to people that you feel like will be around forever. Just days ago we were debating on whether to send the hubby up now or to wait for him to be better. That's how sudden it turned. Yesterday was a tough day, but I have definitely spent some time remembering the good times spent with Bob (Robert Lynn Grimes - 67 years old at time of death). He was far from being a perfect person (I mean, who is?!?) but he was a GOOD person underneath it all. He was a firm believer in God and a true scholar of the Bible. That was his preferred way of spending free time...in study of the Word. And he truly knew SO much about it. I also can't help but think about the impact he had on others outside of the immediate family. He and my mother-in-law spent many years running a family home-based day care center and together they "raised" a lot of kids. Many of them that they thought of as practically their own and continued to keep in touch with long after through their own marriages and having kids and families.

My hubby is doing okay. He landed in Alaska at midnight their time along with our oldest son, Robert - named so after his grandpa. They are enjoying the time with the family there and I'm sure will spend many hours laughing and crying as they drift through memories of him.

I take heart that he finally got to live his dream in Alaska. He moved there under not the greatest of circumstances but bonded with nature and then his wife followed sometime after and together they bought a piece of land and built a small cabin where they could retire together and spend free time fishing, hunting, reading and just loving each other.

He will be missed by all of us and we will not forget the impact he made on each of us. And I hate that losing someone is the time that we are reminded how important those relationships are. Cherish those around you and tell them - but even more so - SHOW them everyday! We don't know how much time we are given, so live everyday, love everyday, laugh everyday.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My hubby leaves for Alaska tonight and at this point we are just hoping he makes it in time...as in makes it before his Dad loses his fight. Things are not improving and the doctor's put him on dialysis yesterday, but that has now caused his liver to fail. He is septic and has pneumonia. They are taking him off of the dialysis because of the liver failure and they say 24 hours.

I don't really know what else to say about it. There's just too many emotions right now. If you are the praying type, please say a few words for my husband and his family. Thank you.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I'm feeling the weight of the world on my back and it's a struggle right now. Yes, I'm striving for quality. Yes, I'm looking for positive. Yes, I'm blogging to work through it all! :-)

1. My father-in-law is really sick. He had prostate cancer many years ago that was removed, but apparently it didn't go all the way away and it came back in his bladder. He had his bladder removed mid-week last week and was doing okay, but this weekend he ran into some complications and had to go in for emergency surgery. They are in Alaska which is a considerable distance from us in California. We are worried about him, and worried about my mother-in-law. They are each other's everything and this has been a tough road; my sister-in-law lives up there with them, but she is completely useless so my MIL really doesn't have anybody close by to support her emotionally. His kidneys are now failing and it's looking more and more like the fight might be gone. We are holding on but may need to fly my hubby up in a hurry depending on what the tests they run today come back with.

2. My hot water heater took a dump this weekend. We *think* it is the temperature control box that is the problem, but until we get the correct part we won't know and we are without hot water. The bright side is thank goodness it is summer and the heat wave is in full force so we are happy to take cold showers right now. If it was dead of winter we would be a group of unhappy people.

3. Dealing with multiple personalities at the home is proving to be quite the challenge. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have the kids around the house, but we are definitely blending a lot of different people and then when you throw in my daughter-in-law from Hawaii and her different cultural background and upbringing, it, like I said, is challenging. We are practicing a whole heck of a lot of patience these days. But when you go to work to get a break, there's something wrong with the picture! LOL I'll be happy when the birds start leaving the nest...again. Maybe this time the migration will stick. :-)

4. Work is really picking up steam right now. There's a large project looming and it is just reaching an overwhelming point. I am flying solo in the office this week so my mission is to crank up the mellow tunes and get some serious work done towards the project.

5. Speaking of work, I have one of my friends/co-workers coming back to the same campus as I am and as much as I love her, she's a difficult person to be around on a constant basis. She tends to be negative and likes to complain A LOT. When she is further away at the other campus, it is a lot easier to contend with. I will give her this - she's been through a lot of challenges and is leaving a position that she was very unhappy in...but there comes a time where a person needs to make the solid decision to find the bright side of things and she just isn't there yet. So when she comes back to campus and I am spending more time with her, I'm really going to have to establish some firm ground rules in order to keep from getting sucked into the negativity. But that takes a lot of energy and my worry is that it will be energy I just don't have. Sigh.

So yeah - it's kind of feeling like the world is conspiring against me at the moment, but I think I have a good plan figured out to work through it. I just need to keep making sure I'm taking care of me; eating good food, exercising, getting sleep, finding time to take care of me in the midst of it all. I'll get there! I will, I will...(see the positive reinforcement at work...if I keep telling myself it will, then eventually it will come true!)

Hope that life is offering a little more of the quality for everyone else out there in the world!

Today's Picture:

Source: This is another original by Melissa and is the pier in Oceanside, CA taken at night. I should note that my daughter is 17 and has been practicing her craft for the past year. She definitely has natural talent and I can't help bragging about her! I'm sure you can see why... :-)