Good News

As I was heading out of church, I knew.

I am healed.

It didn’t come like a bolt out of the blue or a disembodied voice, or like some televangelist with his palm on my forehead saying the words. I just knew. After Mass and some friendly conversations, somewhere between my mental genuflection before the Tabernacle and crossing the threshold out into the world, my worries and prayers concerning whether or not I have cancer had an answer – I am healed.

And I was filled with a light, clear brightness like a many colored stained-glass window radiant with sunlight. I don’t want to say that this was merely a pleasant feeling, for it was more of a deep-down knowledge. Later, as I prayed the Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary at home, I again experienced the awareness and was brought to tears of joy.

Even when I thought about how healing has different meanings, that this knowledge of mine might not mean that my uterine fibroids are benign, I still had a sense of peace. I knew that I was healed and that meant something. Maybe it meant that I was healed of my fears and my wariness of hope. Maybe it meant that I would have a peaceful, joyful, and impactful transition into the next life. I didn’t know for certain. I just knew that I was healed.

For all of you who are friends, who have been regular readers and have followed my posts about the rapidly growing fibroids, for all of you who have expressed kind concern and sent up loving prayers, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer…

My uterine fibroids aren’t cancerous.

Hallelujah!

God be praised! Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Although I wasn’t scheduled to have my ultrasound until next week, I got an earlier appointment. Last week, I had started a cough with some chest congestion – though not very much at all, thank God. I knew that I could have started a cold or that it was an annoying evolution of my allergies – but I worried. (It’s sadly plain to me that I am a worrier.) The anxiety was pretty bad, it was making me feel sick. I thought that, maybe, I did have cancer and it had already metastasized (the rapid growth started at least six months ago) and was moving into my lungs. Yes, I admit it, even though I feel a little embarrassed to share that now. I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, though, because people have terrible suffering like that happen to them every day. There’s no reason for me to be any different. (This does raise the question, Why not me? which I’ll reflect upon in a later post, God willing.)

Long story short, my parents encouraged me to call the gynecologist and get an earlier ultrasound, as one more week wouldn’t make a difference in showing whether the tumors were benign (not growing or even shrinking) or malignant (still growing at a fast pace). After Sunday’s experience, however, I didn’t feel the same anxiety at all. I wasn’t anxious. I was healed. Knowing myself, however, I knew that it wouldn’t take much for me to lose the sense of peace and worry again. (How God puts up with me I don’t know.) Also, the thought that my parents might be worried, too, did come to mind. So, I went for an earlier ultrasound and received the good news.

The Good News

That Sunday after Mass, when I knew that I was healed, began to open up my heart and mind to the intent of the Liturgy, the meaning of Salvation, and the reason for the Gospel. I started thinking that everyone should leave the church knowing that they are healed. I should have been experiencing this awareness all along because, all along, I have been healed. I am being healed. I am healed. We all are. For that is the Good News of the Gospel – Christ Jesus came to bring us forgiveness of our sinful faults and failings and reconciliation with our Creator and all Creation: the merciful fruit of God’s saving love.

The Apostles essentially went around Jerusalem and throughout the whole world proclaiming, “You are healed! You are healed!” And those who believed them, those who came to Jesus their Healer, their Savior, and accepted his yoke of healing with faithful knowledge that they were healed, lived their earthly lives with heavenly peace, proclaiming the good news to others, and passing confidently and joyfully into God’s eternal embrace. This is the Good News.

This is the Good News proclaimed to us every Sunday.

Through the Paschal Mystery, sanctifying grace is available to all, enabling us mere humans to participate in the divine life. Being both human and divine, Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, re-presented in the Eucharistic liturgy, pours out abundant grace to us in the ultimate healing power of Divine Mercy and Love. Baptized into the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, we are born anew from above – we are new creations living supernaturally. All of the Sacraments offer us actual grace and, with it, the healing power of God directly into our lives here and now.

And we are healed.

We are healed!

Too often, especially when we are troubled by a sorrow or suffering… we don’t even know it.

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I don't call myself a poet — but the beating of my heart is poetry. I don't call myself a theologian — but the light of my mind seeks the Divine. Who I am is a Child of God, a Divine Creation, a person devoted to being fully human, fully alive.

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Thank you for sharing good news, Christina. I had a moment of peace – a moment that has lasted – just before a 2 hour op that took 4 hrs. My skull must be extra thick; the saw broke! I trust you will be able to find this well of peace again whenever you need it.

Wonderful news, but even more wonderful is the understanding you received about the Gospel message of us being healed, and yet even more wonderful is your sharing all the news (your good news and The Good News) with us.

This is what I wrote you after your July 20th post:
“My gut feeling is you will get good news in August, but, no matter what, I will continue to offer prayers in your name.” I am so grateful my gut feeling turned out to be correct!! It doesn’t let me down too often!! What glorious news to read on this beautiful day – you don’t have cancer!
Your post about the experience of feeling healed reminded me of how I experienced the knowledge of my cancer. In the middle of a night, I awoke with the sensation that my father (who passed away in 1959) was standing next to my bed. I felt a warmth envelop my body from head to toe, and then I imagined a voice saying “You have cancer, but you will be OK.” I registered all of this in whatever state of consciousness I was in, and in the morning it came back to me although, at the time, I wasn’t sure if it was just a dream. I didn’t think of it again until I received my cancer diagnosis out of the blue a couple months later! I am imagining the experience you had of a divine presence telling you you were healed being a bit like mine: “the deep down knowledge”. I know it’s weird, but I really believe somehow my father was reaching out to me with the help of God.
The worst fears are those of the unknown, and now you know so I hope you are renewed with hope as you face each day. You don’t have cancer! Hooray!!!!

Amazing story!!
My first sense of my rapidly growing fibroids was malignancy (even though it’s rare) which is one of the reasons that I believe there was some divine intervention– Thank God!
What you write is so true “The worst fears are those of the unknown…” and I guess that’s why trust is so important. Thank you for reflecting (and celebrating) here with me!
Pax Christi
OC 🙂

PS Thank you, also, for remembering my mother. She would be pleased to know that although I am guessing she is aware of your thoughts. It was two years ago this month that she passed, and it’s still hard to think of her not being on earth. She so hoped to live to be 100 and almost made it!