I tried to fence off a bit of infinity for myself. It felt safe, manageable. Then I realised that fences in infinity serve only to fence you in.

If you have not seen it already, I would first like you to take a look at The Happy Cow Horoscope. Even if you are a non-believer in Astrology, take a look and you may be pleasantly surprised by our approach.

When English speakers greet one another, it is very common to politely ask the question 'How are you?' or something similar. I would like to suggest that a simple change to this commonly asked question could help to radically transform people's outlook during the day that lies before them.

My proposal is that we replace the word 'how' with the word 'who'.

It is often assumed that 'who we are' is kind of fixed because of genetics and upbringing, perhaps with the possibility of slow and gradual change as we grow older or with some extensive therapy. I will concede that certain genetic factors such as adult height and eye colour may be beyond our ability to change. But our psychological 'personality' is not fixed at all. It is completely fluid and should we care to exercise it, we have a free choice of personality every minute of every day. The only reason it seems to be fairly fixed is because we have forgotten that we have completely free choice. What seem to be fixed personalities are habitual rather than fixed.

We have adopted a 'this is who I am' habit. But that habit can be shaken off.

"Personality remains a totally free choice every moment of every day. Any fixed ideas you have about yourself are your own unnecessary imposition."
Happy Cow

Next time someone asks you how you are, try replacing the word 'how' with the word 'who'. Who are you today? Will you choose the same you that you chose yesterday, last week, last month, last year. Or will you choose a different one? Perhaps you are happy with your habitual choice. There is nothing wrong with that. But once you realise you have a choice, then you can take responsibility and admit fully that who you are today is who you choose to be because you like it and are sticking with it. This brings peace of mind and complete self-acceptance. Then there will be no reason to complain about fate or circumstance, about unfortunate past incidents, about your parents not being 'perfect', about life not giving you the breaks. Who you are is who you have chosen to be.

Great minds kept telling me 'who you are is the sum of your thoughts'. I had no wish to be a bunch of thoughts, so I just stopped adding them up.

But do we have to choose at all? Is it necessary to have a fixed personality? Perhaps we can remain completely free of choice and approach each present moment without any fixed notions about who we are. Then we will have an infinite number of choices instead of the finite set of choices which are defined when we choose to define our selves.

The word define derives from the Latin word 'definire' which means 'to set boundaries to'.

Perhaps there is no need at all to set finite boundaries for ourselves. Perhaps we can remain infinite, undefined, unique and keep on approaching Life's wonderful, undefinable mystery with infinite choice in every present moment.

"Reject all attempts to define you as a person, even if they are 'positive', even if they come from your own mind."
Happy Cow

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