Humor in Music

Happy Friday! A few months ago, I asked my friends on Facebook for some of their favorite musical jokes. I received a fair amount but know there are still plenty more out there. My quest for good, musical humor will always continue, but since it’s Friday, I thought I’d share a few with you.

Following are some of the jokes from the collection my friends and I came up with on Facebook. Some of these have been around since my marching band days in high school and college and some were new to me. They’re all good though.

After reading these, feel free to add your own in the comments below. Enjoy!

Apologies to trombone players and percussionists and…

1. What’s the dynamic range of a bass trombone?

– – On and off.

2. What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombone player’s arm?

– – A tattoo.

3. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?

– – Stick your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.

4. What’s the difference between a trombone and a law mower?

– – Vibrato.

5. What’s the latest crime wave to hit the United States?

– – Drive-by trombone solos.

6. What’s the definition of a trombone?

– – Manually operated wind driven pitch approximator.

7. What’s the range of a trombone?

– – About 20 or 25 yards, depending on how hard you throw it.

8. How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?

– – The knock rushes.

9. A bass player and a drummer walked past a bar.

10. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

– – A drummer.

11. Why should you always lock your car door when leaving a set of bagpipes in the back seat?

– – Because there might be a second set back there when you return!

12. If someone is knocking at your door, how do you know it’s a female vocalist?

– – You open the door and she doesn’t know where to come in. (And she can’t find the key)

And who can resist a good lightbulb joke?

13. How many sax players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

– – Only one, but a roomful of others to argue over how Coltrane would have done it.

14. How does a soprano change a light bulb?

– – She just holds it and the world revolves around her.

15. How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

– – Five. One to change it and four to argue over who could have done it better.

Yes – that last one is definitely from my marching band days! Heh heh heh! Don’t worry – I have plenty more to share. All things in moderation, right? Feel free to add your own jokes below. I’d love to hear them!