This is a tale of a fight I had a few days ago. It was my first brikwars game in many years. But I never forgot this game, even though the time I mentioned years ago was my only time. I never forogt this game of destruction.

Back to the present of a few days ago. I find myself in charge of an army of Romans, and other humans, versus an army of trolls and a siege weapon. Plus an aligator. Oh, and there were spiders involved. And I had a flying ninja (because all good ninjas fly, right?). And I had two siege weapons. The fight started and My army was so terrified of the trolls that they sat still waiting to pounce on the enemy. But they didn't just stare at the trolls. No, the smart decision they made was to get some pizza. But then the enemy tries to get pizza. But my army intercepts their pizza too. But the enemies spiders steal the pizza. Finally, the enemy decides to move again The enemy moves, my army waits until they get just close enough, and then BAM! My secret squadron of spiders breaks down the wall and leaps upon the enemy. My troops sense our advantage and our ashamed of waiting to pull a trap to take some heads off.

Here's an anecdote, for those of you who like rules, skip this paragraph. So... as this was my first game in many years I had, shall we say, forgotten some of the rules. And you know, my mini figs were iching for plastic too much to spend so my time to look at the rules. So I used rule number one. And fudged most of the combat rules. Except for the damage. But it was close enough to the real thing. And It did provide enough choas to appease the Brikwars gods, even though it wasn't their wishes. Back to the story.

My army advances on the enemy and troll heads start flying. The trolls are in a state of panic and feel they must retreat to the safety of their archers. My flying ninja is wreaking havoc on them. Then suddenly out of no where, their commander decides to send his siege vessel charging at my army. The flying ninja narrowly escapes the gaint tower, but many others weren't so lucky. It is then that my army reaches his front gate, and they have no where left to run, when his spiders launch their suprise attack. Luckily, my forces knew they were coming, as my hero Roman used the Heroic Feat, anticipate tactics. So they took minimal causaulties then. To inflict more causualities later.

Now, my army did get hammered away at because of his arches, plus the archer on his alligator. They need reinforcements, the horses had fallen, the ninja had been killed in the blast radius of my explosive rock. The army was in trouble. So my fleet of Romans, plus the heroic feat Roman Movement allowed road to be paved instantly allowing them to get to the battle right away reinforcing the front lines.

Now for another anecdote and the real hero of this story. I had one troll on my side. But he was the troll leader and tried to bring enemies trolls to my side. It worked only once. But this troll was the hero. Not only did he kill another troll, but then suddenly he started bezerking and screaming "penises penises penises!" It was maddness, he couldn't be stopped. He was surrounded by three spiders, but didn't fall. He couldn't be stopped.

The enemies army was falling apart, but he had a backup squadron of Spartans. These spartans were a little tougher than an ordinary spartan, plus there was a Spartan hero. And in the midst of the fight between Romans and Spartans (plus penises) the alligator started to act up. Because it was no ordinary alligator. Because it was a SUICIDE ALLIGATOR (OF DEATH). It used its special ability to fly aroudn the entire field destroying everything. So it was not the spartans, nor the romans (nor the penises) that won the day, it was a suicide alligator. And the gods of destruction.

So I hope you enjoyed my little tale. It was a bit rambly and made little sense to me as I wrote it, but I also refuse to edit it. Maybe.

Edited for some pictures of characters:This is the suicide alligator. It looks normal, aside from its greyness, which is abnormal. But that is how it hides from those who hunt the suicide alligator. By looking like a normal alligator.

Here is the berzerking (screw spelling) Troll Warrior who hides his face in shame. Good thing all their faces are the same or else people might recognize him later.

Last edited by Stormblessed on Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Alex wrote:It does sound like an awesome battle, I just wish there were pictures so everyone else (including me) could see how cool it was.

There have been well done battle reports before that have needed no pictures, Such as the tale of Harpoon JonesYou have an interesting tale yourself Stormblessed, with grand moments of death and destruction. Starting the battle over a scramble for pizza is a nice touch. Even though you don't have any pictures of the battle, would it be possible to take some of the characters that stood out durring the game?