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What do I I look for?

What is my default? Good or bad … fear or hope … sin or love … beauty or pain?

My default is my own experiences – the “teaching” I absorb – and the consequences of my own decisions. My worldview is MY worldview – I made it – I maintain it – I carry it with me. My worldview is MY own baggage. Baggage of a “that’s how things are” worldview that is my default. A default that makes my beliefs all the evidence I need and is all the proof I need.

“I have had a few weeks of particularly painful gout, which is a form of arthritis caused by a build up of uric acid crystals in joints. My previous knowledge of this chemical is that, under a microscope, you see it exists as the most beautiful crystals! (just check those beautiful needle like shapes on google). Equally, those pernicious viruses that cause so much suffering are, when looked at through a microscope, so beautiful; symmetric creations. Funny old world! To extend your point: when we keep ourselves out of contact with “the nasty others” we sometimes are losing the opportunity to view hidden beauty.“

On and on we walked. There was so much stuff I could not recall ordering. So many piles I could not remember being delivered. And so many areas I could not even see. The lights were not enough. The space was too huge. The labelled and dusty piles too many. And these stacks of “darkness” … I found myself wondering “Why?” as we passed. What purpose did this “darkness” serve?

“You find what you follow, you find what you look for, Paul. You know this darkness as “sin”. You look for sin in everything, and each time you find it, you add another stack within. And the darkness increases. You find sin and it adds to your inventory.

See this place? See how much there is? See how cavernous and full? See how unused and dysfunctional this place? Some call this hell. Others call this unchurched. Some even claim to cast out this inventory and make you whole. I see this place as the place you call “saved”. A place you lift in praise. A place you bring to me in worship. A place you invite me to “housekeep” for you. To forgive you your “sins”. To pour a gallon or more of my blood around the place to make it sparkly clean.

Look around Paul. Look at the deliveries accepted even as we speak. Look at the stacks of darkness. It is your most common delivery. And each is receipted and counted. Is it any wonder you need a weekly spiritual “wash and dry”? Is it any wonder you call each other “I am but a sinner saved”? Is it any surprise my sacrifice is burden and my cross so heavy? You keep loading yourself with all this crap! You keep chasing “sin”. You say “my cross is LIGHT” and then keep looking for sin. You fill yourself with darkness and blame it on me.