They will buy their son a new Macbook Pro because he promised not to be gay

I am selling my son’s macbook pro 15 inch. He found out that there is going to be a new macbook so I will be buying that for him. I bought it last summer so it isn’t even a year old yet. It is on pretty decent shape. I am pretty firm on the price.
Just a footnote, I don’t want to get a ton of messages from you guys saying that I am spoiling my son and turning him into an entitled monster. There is a backstory that you aren’t even aware of. My son was committing homosexual acts and got caught in the act. We made a deal that if he chose to be straight, that we would buy him more nice things. So don’t message me saying that I am a bad parent for spoiling him. It’s quite the opposite, I am a good parent and I’m working with him to correct his problem.

Mom, Dad, if you are reading this, I promise to remain straight if you buy me the new Macbook Pro. If you don’t buy me the new Macbook Pro, I will do homosexual things, mostly with lesbians. Your son, Degenerate.