Dating still segregated, but people cross racial lines once contacted

People more likely to respond to pitches from other ethnic groups.

Although issues related to racial identity have progressed to the point where the US is willing to elect a black president twice, its citizens still tend to keep their personal relationships segregated. When it comes to the people we spend time with, "Americans’ preference for same-race alters exceeds their preference for similarity based on any other characteristic," according to a new study of interracial dating.

Using massive amounts of data from the dating site OkCupid, UC San Diego's Kevin Lewis looked at how this self segregation plays out in the online world. Among all of the ethnic groups he examined, there's a strong tendency for people to send messages to other users who belong to the same ethnic group. But people who are willing to go against that trend are typically rewarded—recipients of those messages are more likely to respond to them. And for a short time afterward, they're more likely to initiate contacts across racial boundaries.

According to Lewis, OkCupid is structured in a way to make this sort of analysis valuable. Unlike many other dating sites, which claim to be able to discern users' compatibility via personality profiles, OkCupid lets anyone find anyone else's profile. Results can be filtered based on a set of characteristics, but they're characteristics the users set themselves, not something determined by an algorithm. As a result, the site makes it much easier for people to find and contact just about anyone else in the service.

Lewis did apply some filtering himself, limiting the study to people who were straight and looking to date. Even with those limits, the study was able to track over 125,000 users over a two-and-a-half-month period. Based on the information the users provided, Lewis was able to track Asians, blacks, Indians, Hispanics, and whites and follow their interactions within the service (most other identifying information was removed to maintain anonymity).

At first glance, the OkCupid data seemed to confirm what we already knew. Lewis focused on the initial contact between users—the first message between them, which can either be ignored or set off a larger correspondence that can eventually lead to a date. As in the real world, men end up sending the vast majority of the initial messages, and they generally send them to people of their own ethnicity. "Men and women from all racial backgrounds disproportionately initiate contact with other site users from the same racial background," Lewis concludes.

But the situation changes when he followed up on these initial messages and looked at the replies. The relative favoritism for someone of the same race shrinks dramatically and, in some cases, goes away entirely. For some groups, initial messages were more likely to get a response if they came from someone belonging to a different group entirely (this was true for the Asian, Indian, and Hispanic users).

Over the course of the study, 48,000 users were the recipients of messages from someone outside their racial group. Lewis then tracked the users' behavior over the weeks following that message and found that it briefly changed their behavior. For a few weeks afterward, these users were 37 percent more likely to initiate contact with someone outside their own group. Thus, simply getting a message from outside your ethnicity seems to open your thought process to other possibilities, at least for a little while.

Why does this effect go away? Lewis speculates that the rate of interracial contacts remains so low that the first message will probably end up being swamped by a sea of messages from people of the same ethnicity. Over time, that message of conformity may subconsciously influence people's thinking about who they want to contact.

There are some limitations to this study. For example, to keep the prospects of contact between users geographically realistic, Lewis limited some of the work to users who have ZIP codes that share the first two digits. That assumes that it would be inconvenient for someone in Manhattan to date someone in Brooklyn, which many people don't consider much of a problem. The OkCupid user population might also not be very reflective of the US as a whole.

Still, the sheer number of users gives this study a statistical power that would be hard to match any other way. And given the statistics that show that an increasing number of relationships begin online, the behavior in this digital environment probably has a large and growing influence on real-world social dynamics.

On OkCupid you basically filter people based on matching opinions.If these opinions show a bias in certain racial groups, this will introduce a bias in what is presented in the search results.

Of course this could be considered part of the process of selecting a partner.

It would be interesting to examine how much of this same-race bias is due to people not wanting to date differing skin tones and how much is due to cultural differences between ethnic groups, thus leading to a lower match rating.

IMHO, it's the cultural differences: interests, customs, family relationships, etc., not the skin color that makes interracial dating less desirable at least for one of the parties. Even if the person is several generations American born they can be still strongly influenced by their culture.

There needs to be a better control. Before contact, you rely more on physical appearance, and that tends more along racial lines; people generally find more people of their own race attractive. After contact, the attraction would be more based on personality, intelligence, humor, etc. Unlike physical attractiveness, those qualities aren't affected by race.

I'm in a long-term relationship with a Chinese man, and while the cultural differences didn't matter at first, lately I find it harder to be patient with certain aspects of what he goes through with his family. What I call weakness and being a "pushover", he explains as being "cultural". This is relating to his filial duties, and the boundaries which govern it.

The raised interest in cross-racial contacts may be related to the "activation energy". If they are making that extra effort, then they are probably more interested in that person and probably more compatible.

I'm 46, white, male and married, to a white woman. When I was in HS and college in the 80's, I had a few black girls that were interested in dating me. I was intrigued, especially by one whom seemed she would have been a good personality match for me, but alas I never followed through. I believe I didn't because a combination of cultural racism that infected my family and it rubbed off on me to an extent. I've since become a more independent thinker but when you are young, you carry a lot of familial baggage with you. I wonder if those that initially responded to the cross racial inquiries but later failed to follow through, were also carrying the same baggage as I did?

White male here and the ONLY reason I have always only dated white girls (with a sole exception being an Asian girl) is very simply that I find them way more physically attractive than any other race group.

I hate the implied message of this kind of "research" that seems to always wanting to correlate these things to racism...

And BTW, I am an ex-expat (I am Italian) and I have lived all over the world, especially in non-Western countries, and outside of the West there is WAY, WAY MORE racism and discrimination, of all kinds, and what's worse is that all of it is usually NOT fought in any way... In a lot of cases, it's actually encouraged.

Political correctness is the worse thing ever happened in the West and it's leading to our demise.

what i have heard is that the ideal of a beautiful and/or sexy person is based on the social development and interaction you have with people in your environment from the age of 4 years old to 20 something . what is consider healthy or successful person in that environment will form the basis for what body shape and appearance you will find attractive and beautiful/sexy , and what personalities you look for.because this templet is based on the social group you grown up in its likely that the ethnicity/race of that group of people, like facial features and body shape will have a effect on your dating preference , then when you actually meet and dating a person the culture and their behavior will play a significant part in the success of the dating.

would not this also be a supported behavior based on this study?the template for ideal appearance is influence by the ethnicity/race of the people you grown up with. leading to people on this dating site to prefer people of their own ethnicity/race .however when they are contacted outside their ethnicity/race the template for behavior based on the culture you grown up in will influence you (American dating an American ) so you will still maybe go out with them ,but after a while the effect the templet for appearance will have becomes to big and the interest diminish over time.

I would like to note that the President is only half black. He's also half white. So why do people persist in calling him black?

And if you consider that he was raised by his mom and his grandparents, all white, I think that the "African" part is of even lesser significance. But this topic could trail off into territory I reckon we shouldn't travel into.

i am white, male and Scottish. when i was in a LTR with a black girl not so long ago i put up with a lot of flak from friends which, although it had little impact on our relationship, was a little annoying. the most common criticism was along the lines of: "but she's English!"strange how people differentiate each other

"Alters" is a plural, admittedly very clumsy, of "alter", like in "ego/alter"."Americans' preference for same-race alters" = "Americans' preference for other people of the same race".

Alters is the simple present indicative of the verb alter. Altar is that table in church.

I don't see how altars enter in the discussion. Anyway, "alter" and "ego" are commonly used terms in psychology, sociology and moral philosophy. The plural "alters" is horrible, but it is clearly what the author of the cited article intended. the [sic] introduced by the Ars author makes no sense at all – it is, indeed, misleading, since the "correction" alters the meaning in the original.

i am white, male and Scottish. when i was in a LTR with a black girl not so long ago i put up with a lot of flak from friends which, although it had little impact on our relationship, was a little annoying. the most common criticism was along the lines of: "but she's English!"strange how people differentiate each other

edit because i cant spell

"Us" vs "Them" is as old as humanity. Even Ars supposedly enlightened demonstrates it.

Most of them women I've dated online were immigrants and few of them were the same "race" as me. Of course that's probably influenced by the fact that my parents weren't born in America and most of my friends are immigrants. My cultural perspectives were always different because of my background. When Americans talk about what "black" is, not a single word they say describes me which often made it difficult for me to connect with other Americans. I would first have to cut through all of their false presumptions. Culture has always been a barrier for me, although it's interesting that online it was easier for me to date women from Russia, Romania, India, Korea, Jamaica, and Nigeria than it was to date American women. Regardless, after all of that I ended up getting engaged to an American.

That's when I finally realized that my Catholic faith was the most important cultural influence in my life. I never cared what color the girl was, I just wanted someone that had the same values as me, who had a genuine and generous heart, and who treated everyone well, not just the ones that fit into her culture. The fact that she's also the kind of beauty that people tell me everywhere I take her, is just icing on the cake. :-)

And BTW, I am an ex-expat (I am Italian) and I have lived all over the world, especially in non-Western countries, and outside of the West there is WAY, WAY MORE racism and discrimination, of all kinds, and what's worse is that all of it is usually NOT fought in any way... In a lot of cases, it's actually encouraged.

Political correctness is the worse thing ever happened in the West and it's leading to our demise.

I'm confused. Maybe it's my clumsy Western understanding, but I view racism and political correctness as opposites (at least in a clumsy, reactionary sort of way). So I'm not sure why you state your frustration that racism is rampant in non-Western countries, then state that political correctness is destroying the West. Perhaps you could elaborate?

i am white, male and Scottish. when i was in a LTR with a black girl not so long ago i put up with a lot of flak from friends which, although it had little impact on our relationship, was a little annoying. the most common criticism was along the lines of: "but she's English!"strange how people differentiate each other

edit because i cant spell

Half of my aunts and uncles in England are in interracial relationships. Looking from a distance, it seems the British are more open to that. Although I don't really know, I've only been there once.

Your allowed to have whatever preference you want as long as you make it clear and don't string people along. It doesn't automatically make you racist if you are white and only like white men/women, that's to be seen in your other actions.

I'm 46, white, male and married, to a white woman. When I was in HS and college in the 80's, I had a few black girls that were interested in dating me. I was intrigued, especially by one whom seemed she would have been a good personality match for me, but alas I never followed through. I believe I didn't because a combination of cultural racism that infected my family and it rubbed off on me to an extent. I've since become a more independent thinker but when you are young, you carry a lot of familial baggage with you. I wonder if those that initially responded to the cross racial inquiries but later failed to follow through, were also carrying the same baggage as I did?

As a thirty-something black man that lives in the Midwest I would agree that that is a factor. I use OkCupid and I jokingly mention on my profile that being black, Liberal and Atheist puts me in the niche market of dating material. When I initiate within my own race (or another minority group) I'm not religious enough to be considered, but when I initiate a white woman the reason most of the time - if she's brave enough to tell me - is that her parents won't approve. Most of my successful relationships on the site have been with women not native to Wisconsin.

I would like to note that the President is only half black. He's also half white. So why do people persist in calling him black?

Because he refers to himself as black? Regardless of biological ancestry, personal identity should be respected.

It worked for Navin Johnson.

Simply because he looks black. Race being skin deep and all. See him walking down the street and most will not try to deduce whether he might have some white or other racial group's ancestry. After all, don't we all have some african ancestry?

Catholic son to mother: "I'm gong to marry a prostitute"Mother: "Holy Mary! You're gong to marry a what!?"Son: "I'm sorry mom, she's a prostitute"Mother: "Thank God! I thought you said Protestant!"

@fraoch: If A Scot went out with a black, English, psychotic terrorist with terminal halitosis their friends would complain about the 'English' part...

There's knowt queerer than folk....

A Sassenach

edit:sort of on topic - religious and cultural barriers can be harder to cross than ethnic ones - I might have more in common with a black Eskimo atheist than a white British Christian, or a member of any faith*-based religion. Equally I would have no problem dating an Indian or Asian but I probably couldn't date a Muslim - and the majority of British Asians are Muslims. Did the survey take religion into account?Are there more inter-racial relationships than inter-faith ones? Assuming your religion even allows such a thing (Yes Jews, I'm looking at you. "Of course we can get married - but you and all of our offspring will have to join my church. Oh, and get part of your penis cut off by a non-doctor").

*Faith (noun): "An often unshakable belief in a thing despite or because of the absolute non-provability of that thing. See also Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus etc"

I'll just leave Christian readers with a quote from the (A)Gnostic Bible, Book of Clive the Flatulent, chapter 17 verse 9: "Downvoting is a deed of the Devil. Don't do the Devil's work!"

i am white, male and Scottish. when i was in a LTR with a black girl not so long ago i put up with a lot of flak from friends which, although it had little impact on our relationship, was a little annoying. the most common criticism was along the lines of: "but she's English!"strange how people differentiate each other

edit because i cant spell

Half of my aunts and uncles in England are in interracial relationships. Looking from a distance, it seems the British are more open to that. Although I don't really know, I've only been there once.

There is no real segregation along racial lines any more although Islamophobia is taking hold big-time thanks to the media. Racism has been replaced by sectarianism, mostly.I have friends in the US (Texas, Maine and Nevada) who tell me whites and blacks just don't mix very often. Y'all have too much space:D

I don't think the alter was intended to be in the sentence. I think the author "altered" the casting of the sentence and didn't proofread prior to publishing. From my experience and a quick read of wiktionary I can see no way that ".... same-race alters exceeds their preference..." makes any sense at all.

White male here and the ONLY reason I have always only dated white girls (with a sole exception being an Asian girl) is very simply that I find them way more physically attractive than any other race group.

I hate the implied message of this kind of "research" that seems to always wanting to correlate these things to racism...

And BTW, I am an ex-expat (I am Italian) and I have lived all over the world, especially in non-Western countries, and outside of the West there is WAY, WAY MORE racism and discrimination, of all kinds, and what's worse is that all of it is usually NOT fought in any way... In a lot of cases, it's actually encouraged.

Political correctness is the worse thing ever happened in the West and it's leading to our demise.

"Our demise"? Here is the US, we don't share that mindset. But I've been to Italy, I've witnessed racist behavior but white Italians towards people of darker skin, so perhaps your mindset shouldn't be that surprising/disgusting.

The issue is a bit complicated...the way I see. It isn't just about racial line. It is also about ethnic and cultural lines. Just because two persons may look Caucasian, that does not mean they would hit along well...if one is, let's say Russian, and the other is French. Or one is Jewish and the other...hmmmm.....Irish Catholic. It gets complicated when your consciousness is expanding to the point that you don't see the world in any racial categories.

I'm in a long-term relationship with a Chinese man, and while the cultural differences didn't matter at first, lately I find it harder to be patient with certain aspects of what he goes through with his family. What I call weakness and being a "pushover", he explains as being "cultural". This is relating to his filial duties, and the boundaries which govern it.

Been there, done that, in the other direction -- I was in a long term relationship with a Chinese woman. Out of curiosity, domestic Chinese or American Born Chinese?

I find the differences in those two groups rather interesting, myself.

But culture plays a HUGE role inter-nationality dating, more so than inter-racial among domestics of the same nation, I've found.

White male here and the ONLY reason I have always only dated white girls (with a sole exception being an Asian girl) is very simply that I find them way more physically attractive than any other race group.

I hate the implied message of this kind of "research" that seems to always wanting to correlate these things to racism...

And BTW, I am an ex-expat (I am Italian) and I have lived all over the world, especially in non-Western countries, and outside of the West there is WAY, WAY MORE racism and discrimination, of all kinds, and what's worse is that all of it is usually NOT fought in any way... In a lot of cases, it's actually encouraged.

Political correctness is the worse thing ever happened in the West and it's leading to our demise.

"Our demise"? Here is the US, we don't share that mindset. But I've been to Italy, I've witnessed racist behavior but white Italians towards people of darker skin, so perhaps your mindset shouldn't be that surprising/disgusting.

BTW, You are free to leave the west...

Italy.....you literally have one of the Italian government officials using racial insults against his own integration minister. She is black and came from Africa and she is also a doctor.

Ah Italy..home of Michalangelo, Leoanardo.. cradle of the renaissance.. and jailing geologists for not predicting an earthquake.

And the great Silvio Berlusconi, the great extortionist, who threatened to bring down the whole Italian Govt and the nation because the govt wanted to oust him from any political office...because he was convicted of tax frauds and having sex with a minor while he was in office. He tried to turn the nation for his own cause...for his own purpose.....