Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #20

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The Right Time to Have Children

is when you decide is right

Everyone always says there is never a right time to have children.

Everyone is wrong, of course.

The right time is when you can easily care for them and that can only be decided by you.

It is so simple, but yet no one ever says it.

They will always say something stupid like god will provide or other nonsense like that.

The key to having children is caring for them without it being such a strain on you that you take out your pain and frustration on them.

Can you easily take care of children if you are still in high school? Still in college? Still living with your parents? Working a part-time minimum wage job? Even working a full-time job that pays fairly well but you have not been there more than a few years?

No, of course not. In all these cases you can barely take care of yourself. You are still relying on someone else to pay most of your way. You are not at the point where you can even take care of yourself. How can you take care of another? You rely on the government and your parents. You rely on roommates to defray your living expenses. If you are married, you even rely on your wife to work and pay her share.

You are not self reliant.

You are just a child yourself.

If you can realize that and wait to have children your life and your children's lives will be so much better.

How can you care for a child if you cannot care for yourself?

You will find after you have children, that no one hardly cares for your kids. It is sad, but true. Kids are a tremendous burden on their parents.

The modern world has things all backwards from where things should be.

High school aged kids can easily make the children. You can easily have sex and girls can get pregnant really quick and easy. The girls even continue to look cute, even with their massive pregnant gut. They can continue to do most everything while pregnant. They carry the child easily. Then they give birth easily. Then they recover easily and usually look good again fairly quickly.

Nature provided this to humans. But the modern world is not set up this way at all. High school kids are really just in glorified day care centers. They are just in high school so they have some place to be most of the day. Teenager's are trapped in a childish world making it extremely difficult to get about the business of growing up and getting things taken care of.

You have to understand it. Not to fight against it, but to go with it. You have to wait many years, sometimes decades to have children until you are totally ready for the financial, emotional and time commitment.

How will you know you are ready?

1) Can you go out and easily buy a new car? A car that is very large and safe with multiple doors. One that will hold 5 or 6 people comfortably? One that has 4 wheel drive if you live where it snows. One that is nice and comfortable and safe and that you will be proud to be seen in? Will you be able to hop in this car at any time, even in the middle of the night in an emergency. Will you be able to drive across the country in this car with the whole family sleeping? Will you be able to drive for 6 or 8 hours without stopping for gas? Will you be able to handle this long distance driving?

No, then you are not ready for children.

2) Can you easily rent a large, modern, 3 bedroom apartment in a safe neighborhood with schools that you kids can go to without fear and actually learn something? Can you easily afford this and afford to do other things? Can you do other things so you do not resent your new family because of all the money they cost to maintain?

No, then you are not ready for children.

3) Are you at least 35 years old and have you done all the things you wanted to do in your life. Have you traveled the world enough to know what is going on? Have you had enough girlfriends to know that your wife will be the one you want to be with? Have you had enough adventures that you can stay home for decades without doing much of anything except working and caring for your children?

No, then you are not ready for children.

4) Do you have at least $100,000 in the bank that you can just let sit there for whatever may come up? Do you pay your bills on time or in advance? Do you have savings accounts, investments, businesses, ways of earning money besides a job? Do you have a job that is extremely high paying?

No, then you are not ready for children.

5) Have you had sex with enough women that you are satisfied with being with your wife only?

No, then you are not ready for children.

All these questions are never asked to young men, but they need to be. Your life is too important. Your future children's lives are too important for you to make a mistake and have children before you are ready.

Having kids is not easy. Having more kids does not make it any easier. The more you have the more it costs and the more time they take. Having children puts a tremendous strain on your marriage. If your marriage is a little shaky, children will push it over the edge.

My children did not cause me to
leave my wife.
But they did cause a strain on me financially. Since my my marriage was not good, this strain did not help me.

Hans Recommends

Womens Fashion Made Easy
You can help your daughter look good by getting this book. It is an easy way for any woman to look better fast.

How to Leave Your Wife
The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life. Now that I have left my life has never been better. My kids have never been happier and more at peace.

The Secret of Deliberate Creation is an excellent audio program by Dr. Robert Anthony. I have been listening to it over and over again and my life is getting better in the process. I am starting to manifest good things into my life as a result of using this program.