The Key Conundrum: Am I Alone?

Am I alone?

I mean it in the most mundane way. Forget about all the existential arguments or any other discourse on the border of philosophy. Sometimes I wonder if I am literally the only one in the world who cannot accomplish a certain banal task.

Let me give you an example.

I am the only person that I know that cannot use a lock, specifically, the Pin Tumbler Lock. My worst nightmare would be that I have one key and one locked door between me and the toilet.

Theoretically there is nothing difficult about unlocking a door, assuming that I do have a key.

First things first, I cannot reach my key.

My key is always in a place where it is impossible for me to physically reach without twisting and turning and pulling and hurting. After the panicked search, now it’s time to look at the shape of the key and the key hole.

I cannot see.

I don’t wear my glasses when I’m walking because I don’t know how to walk in my glasses (the world is just so different!), and I’m generally too lazy to wear contact lens, even though only my right eye needs correction. I try my luck with blindly poking in all directions, much like how I put in a USB stick, while at the same time, I have a purse, 2 grocery bags, a bunch of flowers, a jacket, my car key (when I don’t need it, I can easily find it), and maybe sunglasses, all latching on my 2 bare arms.

After the poking, comes the turning.

Let’s say after 5 minutes of struggle, I finally put the correct key into the corresponding door. I never know which way to turn.

And why does the door still not open?

Because sometimes, I have to pull it, sometimes I have to push it, or sometimes I have to pull it and then push it, and other times, I have to turn the key (to the right direction) pull it and then push it.

It’s ridiculous. But when my boyfriend Googles how to open a door, all Google shows him is how to open a door WITHOUT a key. Maybe I will be able to accomplish door opening better without a key, seeing that I’m so bad at it with one.

All in all, I have decided to start a running topic to share with the world what things that I find impossible to do or to comprehend.

Mayhaps by sharing the (not so?) unique personal daily life experience, I am actually attempting to connect with other individual human beings to prove my own existence.