Tuesday, June 12, 2018

KMOV Anchor Saddened to Not Be Young Stud Horse

Last night, KMOV's Doug Vaughn, lost in the fever of journalistic hubris, described the post-race life awaiting Justify, the winner of this weekend's Belmont Stakes (and with it, the Triple Crown).

In a clip uploaded to Reddit, the sports anchor at the St. Louis CBS affiliate noted that Justify's "current value [is] being estimated at $75 million." He continued, "That horse is young, rich, and his entire sex life is ahead of him... I can only imagine what that’s like.”

What could he be imagining? RFT has previously reported that Man-Pony love knows no bounds; was that what he meant?

Was he envious of the horse’s financial security? The horse’s status? Success?

Or was it the fact that that horse will have free access to all of the most eligible mares on the farm? Maybe even other animals too: Pigs and cattle can surely recognize a stud when they see it.

In All the Pretty Horses, Cormac McCarthy writes, “The souls of horses mirror the souls of men more closely than men suppose." This may be what the anchor meant; that horses love the thrill of the race, the horrors of war, and the prime mare real estate, just as much as any man could.

Or maybe he just longs for his youth – but most likely, no. Doug, you may not have your entire sex life ahead of you, but it's hardly a long slog to the grave. You're a young, attractive man by St. Louis standards. Live it up! Get out there and raise some tails.

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