The Star is FREE today!!! And we all know it’s only good use would be to wrap meat (insert sexual joke here) and be used to wrap shit…literally!!

PQ…my mentor 🙂 I’ll always have bile for the Star, cause at the Launch Breakfast for the Star, you told us it was going to be a different paper, with less focus on politics and a heavy focus on human interest stories. Well the star is more like a glossy weekly citizen (sometimes)

In other news, flip to the gossip pages. Yaani Kerongo is shamelessly fronting all her workmates!

Plus Insyder VOTED her the best gossip blogger in Kenya…I feel insulted!

You asked for it (it was already in the works) so I asked the AD GURU to send in the ad reviews. This will be a weekly feature

Colgate HERBAL

I couldnt find the one aired in Kenya – but here’s one that’s along the same lines

What in makmende’s name was Colgate thinking about that ad. Ok so, some campo guys have gone hiking in a non-existent greenery waterfall-at least if they shoot it at Thompson falls it would have been believable. Then there appears a beaver. Kwanza, for the sake of my grandma’s lost memory there are no beavers in this part of the world. They are habitats of North America and some parts of Europe with claims of them been extinct there-google search it Danke!

Secondly that beaver speaks in English that is clearly not Kenyalish. At least if they chose another rodent, mammal or whatever that devours wood; even a goat would do and put a serious kuyu, Luyha or even jang’ accent it would have made it authentically Kenyan. The folly of these multinationals is to copy paste their ads in the west and spoon feed us. Dear misinformed Westerners we aint that stupid as you are made to believe! KAMON! Localise the dang ads… NKT and another NKKKTTT!

Sona Moja – Some type of pain killer

Moving on swiftly… one evening I was idly surfing when I came across a channel I thought was extinct-KBC. And there was an ad-Sona moja-which made me stay put. For one I thought the makers of headache had fired their ad agency and hired some slackers masquerading as ad people. Kwanza, the quality of that ad is very poooor with the picture quality been grainy-even my grandpa’s camera (those one where you had to place a black cloth over them) would have made clearer pictures. Secondly these people made a shoddy work by imitating headache.

Listen, Sona holdings the makers of Sona moja, if you gona shamelessly copy an ad concept can you please outdo the original makers. This ad just makes you such clowns, and if your idea was to be the butt of fat laughing stock, you win. Thirdly, them actors… waaaa! Even a brain dead octogenarian vegetable could have put a better act than these clowns! Mwala and that conductor did a very bad comical act! And for Pete’s sake fire that ad agency and get real ad people to do your ads. Shindwe! Am done ranting today!

Vincent Ateya really owes SK and Afune a whole lot!! They believed in him and made a gamble with him…and now he’s moved to Milele Fm’s Breakfast. He was leading the BIGGEST radio show on the land!!!

The move has made akina SK weaks in the knees and his wife a bit weak on her face (Botox must be flowing hehe) cause Radio Citizen grosses a lot of mbecha fari fari for them, and Vincent was part of that cash cow.

But Vincent could have shown a little respect and give a LONGER notice…3 days ni madharau!