Singer-performer Varla Jean Merman, the rumored love child of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman, opens the "World Tour" of her autobiographical one woman show, Enough About Me, Sept. 30 at San Francisco's New Conservatory Theatre. Merman plans to stay in the City by the Bay through Oct. 28.

Singer-performer Varla Jean Merman, the rumored love child of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman, opens the "World Tour" of her autobiographical one woman show, Enough About Me, Sept. 30 at San Francisco's New Conservatory Theatre. Merman plans to stay in the City by the Bay through Oct. 28.

Having traveled the world in search of fame and fortune, Merman discovered the most painful truth of all -- the truth about herself. This show promises to reveal the Varla Jean rarely glimpsed at in her previous outings I, Who Have Nothing, Peel Me A Grape, Varla Jean Merman: A Christmas Concert, Varla Jean Merman Is The Bad Seedling and The Very Worst of Varla Jean Merman.

Varla has even crafted several standards to fit her egotistical needs including "The Windmills of My (Your) Mind," "Sunday Morning Coming Down," "Dream a Little Dream of Cheese" and "Burn, Baby, Burn," morphing the disco classic with another well-known piece, "Carmina Burana." She also proports to tell her entire life story in one song, "Those Were Happy Days," a tale of birth, weight gain and step aerobics that shadows another performer with a famous mama.

Merman is the creation of Jeffrey T. Roberson, who has appeared on Broadway in Chicago and in cabaret opposite Betty Buckley singing excerpts from Carrie. He won a 1997 Bistro Award and a 1998 Mac Award.

Tickets are $30-$15. Varla Jean Merman will officially open Sept. 30. The New Conservatory Theatre Center is located at 25 Van Ness Avenue near Market Street. For reservations, call (415) 861 8972. The New Conservatory Theatre is on the web at http://www.nctcsf.org. -- By Christine Ehren