To Stillfrommy

Hi,
I need you to know that I have been opiate free for 2 months. My last dose was 3/31/04. No one and I mean no one knew what I was doing. I too used the online pharmacy thing too. At one point I had been taking up to 20 Norco a day and I just wanted more and more. About the last month of my use I had a hard time getting more Norco's so I settle for Vic 5/500. As those to were getting harder to get I did have some Tylenol 3 and then that is what I took to keep the withdrawals away.
On 3/31/04 I took my last dose not because I was ready to quit, but because an opportunity presented itself to me in a way that I would be able to quit with my family not knowing about it. So this is what I did. I took Clonidine which helped me to not puke. I also took Valium (only at night) to help me sleep. The minute the runs occured I took Immodium in pill form. The first two days were hell. I never puked (that is the worst for me) but I did suffer terribly with the restless legs and feeling as though I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I rocked back and forth in bed so hard (flopped) and chafed my skin real bad!!!! I also had a few Soma muscle relaxers which helped with restless leg thing. I drank a tea called Nighty Nighty as it contain Passion Flower which is supposed to help opiate w/d symptoms.
When it got bad I would think about people who had been tortured and lived through it. I keep telling myself that if people could survive that than I could survive this - in reality I was my own torturer!!
Most importantly I disconnected from all the online pharmacy and I flushed what I had left. About week later I got a package from Fed Ex and I flushed those too - I did the same thing again 2 weeks later when another package arrived. Sorry this is so long, even though I have made for a short time - I did what I knew I needed to do but never really believed that I would get through the W/D and be able to stay sober. I have been sober and I must say that I still haven't shared this with anyone and I never will, but my life just gets better and better as each day passes.
There is hope and this too shall pass.
Take Care

Your post really touched me, I mean that! I thought I was alone but I know now that is not true. I ordered last week from a Online company and I WILL NOT pick it up, I am so done. I went to Borders over the weekend and I brought a book by elizabeth wurtzel called Now, more about a addiction its a true story so you really feel like you can relate to her. I almost read the whole thing in my car, reading also helps to distract my brain from Norco.

I did not think I would be able to wean myself, I did it. I went from 8-10 pills a day to only 4 Sat and Sun, Today will be only 3 and Tomorrow 3, then 2, 2, 1,1, NONE! I know I am prolonging the w/d but I feel it will not be as bad if I am down to a smaller dose. I was tempted to page a dentist over the weekend to get a few, I did not do it. I am sick of lying, spending money on these stupid pills.

Its true that our bodies get used to the chemical so much that our body does not produce it anymore, once the drug is gone our brains are like, why did you do that to me? Punish us for it. I am lethargic, stomach issues, rls last night. I am actually not as moody, I am surprised at that one, I always thought they put me in a better mood, I think it was the other way around, I feel more emotion now, I always felt numb before, like I did not care about anything. I am happy about that. Once the w/d is over, I will work on my brain to get better.

Do you think I should go to NA? I really would not want anyone to see me that I know. I feel I need counsling of some sort. I even would just go sit with a social worker or anyone really. How do you get these drugs you are talking about? Would I have to see my reg Dr for them? I am so ashamed to tell him as he gave me pills 120vic with one refill, I am not going to get the refill, its due Today, I am not going to pick it up! Could I just find a addiction Dr and see him and not my reg Dr?

We will get banned if we talk about how we bought our pills. But as I said in my first post it was through those online pharmacy. Now I have NO communication with those sites anymore and never will.
You can do this - and no I never did go to NA but I used to go to AA and I think that helped me during my detox.
Continue to read everything you can get your hands on.
After quitting these pills one of the first things I noticed is how I really wasn't getting anything done at home or work and yet I thought the pill gave me a boost of energy - totally false - I am playing catch up big time!!!
Let us know how you are doing!!!