Cliff Lee aka The Adverb got through the Gnats like a subject and a predicate. Pitches so sharp, Lee will cut your head off. Selig is the commissioner. You no wanna start Leezy, he is the Finisher. Stop playin’, he do it like a King do. Pitch! Lee flow like scuba, pitch, Lee’s bold like Cuba and The Adverb blow right through ya! Sorry, I kinda love that song and I’m not even a huge Lil’ Wayne fan. (Note: Rudy just read that and needs Chad Billingsley’s grandmother Barbara to help translate that jive like in Airplane) Any the hootie hoo! For fantasy purposes, there’s not much to say. The Adverb lit up the scoreboard… Brilliant Lee. He’s a number one. You knew that. Moving on, snitches. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Aroldis Chapman – After first being reported here after inferring shizz from other news sources, Aroldis is being shutdown for a few days. Doctors are saying he got Dustied.

Joe Mauer – Twins said that Mauer sat out because he’s sore. See, Cuddyer was saying about some girl in the stands, “I’d like to see Mauer of that girl…..in my bed!” and it turned out to be Mauer’s sister, so Mauer got all sore. Or maybe it’s worse because he went on the DL. So what’s the over/under on the amount of games that Joe Mauer plays at catcher before he’s moved to 1B, 3B, or DH? 500 games?

Phil Hughes – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. I’m seeing people start to drop Hughes. From someone who doesn’t like to overreact to early season woes/whoas, I can understand losing Hughes.

Jose Reyes – Had the always satisfying slam & legs on the first side of the doubleheader. Nom nom nom.

Scott Hairston – 3-for-7, 3 RBIs and a HR playing both games. I told Rudy he’s the best current Mets outfielder and he said that was the top five stupidest things I’ve ever said. I think it was top six.

Brad Emaus – 1-for-5 along with two bobbles on potentially inning-ending double plays that cost the Mets about 6 runs. Amazing how much he looks like Dan Uggla, only he’s not. He’s a poor man’s Dan Uggla. That poor man is Jeff Wilpon.

Jordan Zimmermann – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Looking like a genius telling everyone to draft him. Not looking like a genius by telling most of you to bench him vs. the Phillies. Back to square one on my quest to look smarter than I actually am.

Carl Pavano – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Terrific! Spectacular! Hyperbole! The team he was facing has one hitter batting over .300 and his name is Sam Fuld. Fuld the love of God!

Brandon Beachy – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 8 Ks. I get the urge to want to drop him, but in most leagues I would hold him for another start or two. He’s got good stuff, it’s a long season, yadda3.

Greg Reynolds – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K. Now back-to-back solid starts. I’m gonna be honest with you, if he were Latin, I’d be all over this guy. Change his name to Jorge Renaldo and you’d pick him up too. Don’t lie, you mentirosa.

Jon Herrera – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs with a homer. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. He’s be on the right side, which is to say the left side.

Bruce Chen– Now 2-0 after 8 innings of no earned run pitching on one strikeout. It was against the Mariners. Translating that against a real offense, that’s a 5.00 ERA, 2 HRs allowed, and -5 strikeouts. If you stream pitchers, I’d just pick up anyone against the Mariners. Pitching against them is like playing tetherball against a guy in a strait jacket.

Bud Norris – 6 shutout innings with 7 Ks against the Padres. Pitching against the Padres offense is like playing tetherball against a girl in a strait jacket.

Jorge Posada – Tied the game in the 9th with a solo HR off Kevin Gregg. All the man does is hit HRs. 7 hits on the year, 5 HRs. If he’s going to do that and stay catcher eligible, he’s going to have to start paying royalties to Rod Barajas and Miguel Olivo. Maybe he thinks DH stands for Designated Homerer.

Kyle Farnsworth – Happy days in Tampa as the Farns gets the sphinctory as Potsy (Johnny Damon) hit a 2-run walkoff to get the win. Don’t worry. The ‘jump the shark’ episode where Farnsy gives up backbreaking HRs will come soon enough. But until then, SAGNOF!

Joe Nathan/Matt Capps – How do you play Loser’s Poker? It’s something like this…..Nathan “I raise you 2 ER and a blown save.”. Matt Capps, “I see your 2 ER + blown save and raise you a loss on a walkoff HR!”.

Jamey Carroll – Don Mattingly knows greatness from the leadoff position from his days with Rickey Henderson. So it must be that much worse to have to pencil in Jamey Carroll as the leadoff hitter. Carroll barely qualifies for a MLB utility role but he did managed to go 2-4 with 2 runs and a SB last night – not to mention recite a punchy obituary list of ex-Dodgers (Steve was sniffing coke since he was just a rookie….)

Matt Kemp – Slam and legs! Now has 8 SBs and hitting well over .400. Memo to SAGNOFs – skip Rihanna and go collect knowledge from Davey Lopes.

Brian McCann– A 3 run HR off Nolasco. Hitting .340 with 9 RBIs, he’s one of the only expensive catchers (*cough* Mauer *cough*) who’s actually delivering. Hopefully the Braves sign a pitcher named Watson so fans can hear Chip Caray say “Watson-McCann“.

Randy Wolf– 6 2/3 shutout innings with 10 Ks and only 5 base runners. After a year and two starts of mediocre performance, I still think he’s a sheep underneath the uniform.

Phil Coke– 7-up, 7 shutout innings down against the A’s for his first win of the year and 2-for-2 in quality starts. I’m starting to get an Orange Crush on him.

Matt Holliday – 3 for 5 with 2 runs and 3 RBIs. LaRussa must’ve waxed on and off his appendix scar.

Huston Street – Blew a save. Rockies are saying he was tired from the previous day. I can agree to that. Healthy and well-rested, Street’s solid. Injured or unwell-rested and he’s not so good. BTW, I wait until the last game finishes to write these roundups. I really should move to Hawaii so I can do these roundups at a reasonable hour. Maybe I’ll live with the Victorinos. “Mmm, I love how you incorporated pineapple into this dish, Mrs. Victorino.”

Michael Cuddyer has been playing 2B. maybe the twins should see if Mauer can play 2B. 3B would be ideal? but 2B would be easier?

Wandy Rodriguez should NOT be dropped by anyone. used properly, Wandy is one of the best SP options there is. ONLY USE HIM AT HOME! he has not had an ERA under 3 at home since 2006. he was bad last year in May/June, but he still went on to have 2.11 ERA, 1.04 WHIP in the 2nd half, as well as overall 2.82 ERA, 1.14 WHIP at home.

In defense of Dickey, he woulda had a much better outing if the Mets outfield defense didn’t play like Bozo the Clown.

Yeah, Narvy is going for me tonight.

IMy RCL has both Liriano and Wandy; mainly becuase of them I have the RCL trifecta of being last in WHIP, ERA, and Wins. K’s as well. But last year, when I decided to jump off the Wand-Wagon, he caught on fire in the second half. My only consolation is that I followed advice and did not draft Phil Hughes.

Hey Grey! Dude just dropped Eric Hosmer in my deep 14-man keeper. I want to pick him up and stash him before anyone else gets to him. I mean, I’m looking at the future of the Royals offense here. What do I do? Drop one of these guys:

@Grey I’m currently rocking a staff of Halladay, Hanson, Zimmermann, Billingsley (I hate him), Kennedy, Garza. As you can tell, ‘cept for Halladay, shizz hasn’t gone well. Especially when you add on that Thornton and Sale make me feel like I dropped the soap in the community prison shower.
Anyway, what do you think about dealing Ethier for Greinke? I kinda feel like I can platoon some combo of SSmith, Kubel, LScott into similar stats that Ethier would give me.

I had Jordan Zimmerman on the bench in two leagues last night. It was of my own volition, though, so don’t feel too bad (you can still feel a little bad, if you want). Dude needs a nickname; his name’s just too long to say all the way. Don’t have time for that. Jor-Zim makes him sound like an extra from Superman (not that anyone was gonna call him that). Ideas? Anyone?

Also, holy crap! Anyone seen Panda playing 3rd this year? He’s everywhere. Sometimes he gets to balls he really shouldn’t. And I don’t mean in the, “Wow, can you believe his range?” kind of way. More the, “What the hell was that fat idiot thinking? It was the shortstop’s play to make, and Panda just threw it away!” kind of way. Still pretty impressive.

Lastly, I got offered Kemp for CarGo (essentially). Any reason to explore a CarGo for a Kemp+1 swap? I figured I’d sit tight unless a really useful piece became part of the package.

Sounding like 30 days is a good bet for Mauer’s absence. Now that all the hot catchers of the first 2 weeks are off the wire I turn to this pool of loyal dregs to fill my 10 team mixed starting C slot:

Ramos, Avila, Hanigan, Buck, Ruiz.

Who’s my pickup? I’m kind of in love with Ramos but he doesn’t have the gig yet.

@Grey/Rudy – I’ve got Daniel Hudson and Matt Cain on my team. Do I pitch both or just one of the two (I think I’d lean to Hudson in that instance, but would gladly welcome your take)? Do you generally shy away from starting both starters from one game?
Commenter League – so far, just 11 games started for pitchers (second lowest in the league; it’s fun watching guys being done with there starting pitching at the beginning of July). Thanks. Third year of loving this site!

What’s your take on Mitchell Boggs (besides the fact that he is the lead attorney on a large class action suit)? Any chance of him closing out games? He looked pretty nasty last night and has 12 ks through 8 innings.

Appreciate the laughs boys!
Two questions:
(1) Is Tulo #1 overall now in a redraft?
(2) I’ve been collecting in me some Liriano. Did I pay too much?
Deal 1—Liriano for N. Walker and Fowler
Deal 2—Liriano for Wieters and S. Burnett
Thoughts?

As ugly as Beachy’s line looked…he wasn’t really that bad…I’m holding for now…

I really wanted McCann this year but I refuse to take a catcher in the first 7 rounds and he was always gone by then…in fact, I still haven’t drafted a catcher in my H2H..I’m rolling out the extra SP so far…without knowing anything else about my vacuum…sound strategy?

Jordan Zimmermann last night, hmmm. I couldn’t decide whether or not to start him, given that he wasn’t likely to get much run support vs Cliff Lee.

His numbers against the Phillies in two previous starts weren’t pretty (cuffed around at home in 2009 and in Citizen’s Flank in 2010), but I risked it – and was reveling in my own wisdom through four, with Zimmermann perfect and four K’s banked.

But he struck out no-one from that point till he was pulled, and even allowing for the Espinosa error it seemed like the Phils phigured him out as the game went on.

Over-long story short – despite his relative success yesterday, I’ll be in a quandary all over again next time he’s due to start against them.

@Grey Cliff Lee was quoted when talking about Jordan Zimmermanns fastball after the game, “That might have been the best fast ball I’ve ever seen”. Now that is so pretty high praise coming via the Adverb. I would try to trade for Zimmermann.

@Paulie Allnuts: You’re right about Dickey. I saw on ESPN the Mets clown car outfield play two sure flyouts into two doubles and multiple runs scored. Dickey did put a lot of guys on base, but those two outs would’ve likely limited the damage a lot.

I guess I’m gonna hang onto him for one more week. He gets the ‘Stros next week, so that should be alright. Colorado is probably one of the better-hitting lineups in the game right now, especially with Tulo all hot and bothered, so probably not the best lineup to evaluate your pitcher against.

I’m looking at Zimmermann and I love his stuff but don’t like the innings restrictions the Nats are gonna give him. However, I already own Ogando and he is under similar, if not worse, restrictions I imagine.

So wondering who you think should be the stronger play going forward. Zimm gets the NL but he’s on the Nattys, and Ogando deals with the AL but at least for Tex. Thanks.

I am strongly considering picking up CoCo Crisp after his Oscar Gamble look alike performance yesterday. If he keeps the look I think I might need a soft hitting outfielder to up my style points. Is this a good strategy.

@Rudy or @Grey
I’m currently rocking a staff of Halladay, Hanson, Zimmermann, Billingsley (I hate him), Kennedy, Garza. As you can tell, ‘cept for Halladay, shizz hasn’t gone well. Especially when you add on that Thornton and Sale make me feel like I dropped the soap in the community prison shower.
Anyway, what do you think about dealing Ethier for Greinke? I kinda feel like I can platoon some combo of SSmith, Kubel, LScott into similar stats that Ethier would give me.

@Grey: thanks for the advice, I figured as much but like I said, it’s really tough to figure out who is droppable and who isn’t on those borderline guys in an 8 team league. I swear that league is harder than people give it credit for.

@phorts: RE: “Fuld’s Gold”
I like it! Had to pick him up in my RCL league though to at least ride his hot streak. Didn’t do it in my other league because I’m skeptical he can keep it going and it’s a bit shallower of a league, so you can’t drop players and expect to necessarily pick them up later.

Does Fuld qualify as a Sparky Anklebiter? I think he does, due to his hustle and his stature. Did you see that catch he made against Detroit (I think it was)? That was the best catch I’ve seen in a very long time. Then he made one against Boston that was also superior. Just spectacular defense overall.

Fuld will play until he stops hitting. One would assume that would happen eventually given his less-than-stellar track record. Until then, ride that horse!

Would you add Gomes or Francisco? I’m in a 12 team league with large benches are limited FA picks, we start with 2 then get an additional one every 2 weeks. I’ve been killed by the injury bug (Zimmerman, Hamilton, Furcal, Jiminez) and need some help.

I have Mauer, gotta fill in, I picked up Kurt Suzuki from FA. I don’t like him, but I think he’s probably the best option. You think I should’ve grabbed Iannetta, arencibia, ramos, ruiz, or avila instead?

I need to pick up a catcher with Mauer heading to the DL, but will require me to drop either Ian Stewart, Freese, Belt, or Naverson.

My head is telling me i should drop Stewart since he’s been slumping and sharing time with Wiggy. But my gut tells me if I do, he will go on a huge hitting streak. Not sure if I should listen to my head or gut…

@Grey: I’m in a keeper league and Dustin Ackley is still available. I’m thinking about picking him up, but I don’t really understand the hype. All of the pundits claim he is a legitimate 20/20 threat, but in a full season last year in the minors he only hit 7 homers and stole 7 bags.