and other facts we made up

What Happened??

The most common question you’re going to get when going through a big breakup is: “What happened?”

For some reason, everyone is shocked when any couple splits up. Like it’s something they’ve only seen in the movies. They need answers! But the truth is, it’s usually hard to say what happened. Relationships are complicated, unless you’re in 6th grade. And even if you are in 6th grade, it can still be hard to pinpoint exactly where it went wrong.

“I don’t know. I mean we both liked Austin Powers. And we had talked on the phone every day after school this week. He sat at my lunch table. But then on Friday, he was acting all weird and then Nicole came up to me at recess and told me that Anthony didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.” (Based on a true story.)

So it’s never really an easy explanation. But here at EGD, we want everything to be easy. So here are some simple answers to that dreaded question.

Q: “What happened??”

A: “He left me for Angelina Jolie.”

Q: “What happened??”

A: “We could not agree on the pronunciation of pajamas.”

Q: “What happened??”

A: “She decided she didn’t want to be a citizen after all.”

Q: “What happened??”

A: “I’m not sure. But some girl at recess just told me he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.”

Q: “What happened??”

A: “Our names both start with the same letter so we couldn’t find a way to combine them to make one of those “celebrity couple names.”