Sanzo + Hair dye for
Alleonh, for the 100th review of Dog's Life. Enjoy, I
know I had fun writing it.

The Great Handsome Prince Genjyo Sanzo

Something
was amiss. Sanzo wasn't completely sure what it was at the moment
but he would figure it out soon enough. But first things first:
figure out what he had been doing before so he could know where he
was now. Wherever he was or had been, it wasn't doing the massive
headache he had acquired any favors.

Last night he remembered drinking with Hakkai and Gojyo. There was
something stupid lingering on the corner of his mind, like trying to
out drink Hakkai came to mind. Which would explain the pounding
headache upon first waking. After that, he's pretty sure that he
made it upstairs and collapsed into the bed. But if he made it to
bed, why was his pillow so damp? And what was that obnoxious giggling
noise? If it was Goku he was going to kill the brat. But why would
Goku be in his room?

Better question, why did he feel so stiff? And something was brushing
against his skin the wrong way, his normal clothes didn't do such a
thing. That meant he had changed clothes at some point before hitting
the bed. Sanzo groaned and realized he was going to have to open his
eyes and sit up if he wanted an answer. Damn it.

He cracked an eye open and faced the pale color of the yellow wall
and sighed. There was a shadow hovering over the surface and that
meant he wasn't alone. The presence wasn't threatening, but he
still wanted his gun for some odd reason. Reaching for it, Sanzo
realized that something was incorrect with his sleeve.

It had green frills around the wrist, was puffy at the shoulder, and
an obnoxious shade of yellow. If this had anything to do with a
drunken bet he would kill someone. Actually, he might just do it
anyway. Killing was surprisingly good stress relief he had found.
Sitting up with a start he turned to growl at a very familiar pair of
eyes.

"Lirin! What the hell are you doing here?" He fell straight into
shouting, despite how it made his head ache. The girl was sitting
with her head in her hands, elbows resting on the bed, and grinning.
Sanzo just knew he should be frightened, but then he wouldn't be
Sanzo. Now would he? "And why the hell are you in a fluffy pink
dress?"

"Because you're the prince, silly!" Lirin giggled and jumped up
from the bed to do a twirl. She never usually dressed up like this;
dresses were icky. But this was an exception. "And that makes me
the princess!"

"Good morning, Sanzo. I hope you slept well, you were a tad drunk
last night." Hakkai opened the door fully and carried in Sanzo's
laundry from yesterday. He was way past being scared of a grumpy
morning monk. What he wasn't expecting was the spinning little
sister of Kougaiji. "Oh, Ms. Lirin. How are you?"

"That's Princess Lirin!" She put her hands to her hips.
Was that really hard to say? You'd think the dress and tiara would
be a big enough hint. Not to mention she really was a princess just
like her big brother was a prince. "And this is my handsome prince!
We're getting married!"

"The hell we are!" Sanzo shouted and stood up but fumbled a bit.
He looked down and realized the britches he was wearing were a tad
small. Constriction of the legs was not conductive to strangling
small children.

"Ah, Sanzo, she just wants…to play." Hakkai smothered his
laughter and cursed himself for not paying attention earlier. He
might have been able to get a better grip on his emotions, but it was
pretty funny. "You are dressed for the part."

"What are you snickering for?" Sanzo didn't even want to know
what he looked like to make Hakkai laugh out loud.

"You might want to look in the mirror, Sanzo." Hakkai pointed
towards the bathroom. If Gojyo or Goku found out about this little
incident someone truly would end up dead. Sanzo stomped off to the
bathroom and Hakkai watched the red cape hanging off his shoulders
flutter. He tried to not let that fact make him even more giddy than
he already was.

"What the hell did you do to me!"

Hakkai smiled at Sanzo's shrieking and turned to Lirin. "Did you
do that all by yourself?"

"Yeah!" Lirin smiled. "Took me all night to get him all ready
for the wedding! It was hard getting all his leather gear off too!
He's heavy, but I did it!"

Sanzo took a good look at himself in the mirror. A hideous yellow top
with aforementioned sleeves and cuffs complete with black britches
that puffed out slightly above the knees. His legs were dressed with
knee-high boots with one inch heels and he had on some sort of frilly
shirt underneath the jacket upon a second look upwards. He twitched
at the sight of the cape being held on by the gold chains and
tasseled shoulder pads, but that wasn't the worst of it. Someone
would die. In the next five minutes, faster if he could get to his
gun. Surprisingly, the next words to come out of his mouth were
rather calm and held an air of awe. "My hair is purple."

"Of course!" Lirin smiled and skipped over to the bathroom door.
She pushed her tiara back onto her head when it slipped down. She had
to borrow it from her mom's closet so it was a little big. "It
had to match your eyes and I didn't want it to clash with the top
of the outfit."

Hakkai chuckled, but was smart enough to notice the signs of a Sanzo
reaching his limits. "Now, it's just a bit of fun, Sanzo. A
child's game, that's all. Please calm down?"

"Calm?" Sanzo turned and faced the traitor. "I'm violated in
my sleep and you want me to stay calm? How the hell did she change my
clothes without waking me up anyway?"

"You were dead drunk last night, I'm surprised you even made it
to bed. But I wouldn't worry, I'm sure the dye washes out." He
turned again to Lirin. "What did you use?"

"This stuff." Lirin held up the bottle with the purple lining
around the lid. "And it was hard to get all the water to the bed to
wash it out too!"

"Oh my." Hakkai chuckled at the bottle.

"What?" Sanzo began to think of some very creative ways to
torture small wanna-be princesses. Some of the more fun ideas that
came to mind involved feeding her his gun through a meat bun
silencer. The time needed to clean out his gun would be worth it for
the irony.

"It seems she chose a permanent brand." Hakkai took a protective
step in front of Lirin. "But don't worry, I'm sure your hair
will grow out fast enough. Or we could always try re-dying it?"

Sanzo's immediate explosion would have occurred next if not for the
sudden entrance of a familiar duo busting into the room.

"Hey, Hakkai have you seen my Hi-Lites?" Gojyo paused. Stared.
Then he laughed.

"What are you laughing at now you pervert Cockroach?" Goku
paused. He took a good look at his personal savior and then asked in
a curious tone, "Why is your hair purple, Sanzo?"

"Because he's my prince and wants to look good for the wedding!"
Lirin shared excitedly. "You can be the flower boy if you want."

"No!" Sanzo continued with his rant. "There will be no flower
boy because there is no wedding. I'm not a prince and you are going
to be dead in the next five minutes when I get my hands around your
scrawny little neck!"

Lirin turned to Goku and grinned. "Isn't he cute when he's
angry? I think he just has cold feet."

"Ah, Lirin, why don't you head home now? I feel as though this
game has gone on long enough." Hakkai figured he should get the
child out of the line of fire. She seemed determined to dig her own
grave. "And Sanzo, we should try washing that stuff out of your
hair now before the dye sets in completely."

"No, I'll live with purple hair if I get to maim the child
first." Sanzo strode towards Lirin who was grinning like an idiot.
He stopped when he heard the click.

"Yay!" Lirin jumped up and down. "The photographer showed up!"

"What?" Sanzo stopped and looked at the window to see Dokugakuji
finish climbing through with Yaone close behind them. Dokugakuji was
carrying a camera. "Bastard! You will give me that film. Now."

"No can do, princey." Dokugakuji held in the overwhelming
laughter, but he was dead sure it was showing on his face. "It's
not mine to give."

Yaone coughed and tried to hold the blush at seeing Sanzo in costume.
He did indeed look like a prince, all he needed was the white steed.
She touched her own hair self-consciously when she realized Sanzo's
shade was an almost near match for hers. Really, the last thing she
needed was for people to think that she dyed it. It was natural! "Ah,
Ms. Lirin, I see you've been very busy."

"I'm glad you guys got my message! I want you all to be at my
wedding. Yaone's my maid of honor, after all. And Dokugakuji is
going to take the pictures!" Lirin looked around behind them.
"Where's Kougaiji? He's got to give me away!"

"What, his summoning fiend not good enough?" Gojyo laughed, but
he stopped rather quickly when the bullet flew past his hair. It
seemed that Sanzo had found his gun. It was worth it. "Or maybe he
just wants to be traditional."

"Everyone. Out. Now." Sanzo held the gun aimed at the ceiling and
fired a fresh round.

"But what about the wedding!" Lirin ran over to Sanzo and grabbed
his free hand clasped between the two of hers, held it tight to her
breast. "It's supposed to be so pretty! I even picked out the
garden for it."

"There is no wedding!" Sanzo had to blink when he realized his
voice was in stereo. His eyes shifted to the side to reveal another
familiar redhead with purple eyes. "Kougaiji, is it so hard to
control your little sister?"

"Get your hands off her you pervert of a priest." Kougaiji
waltzed into the room, also through the window and grabbed Lirin by
the arm and dragged her away. "Stay away from him."

"But he's my prince!" Lirin stamped her foot. "We're
playing!"

"He's an ill tempered bastard, that's what he is." Kougaiji
continued. "There is no way you're even pretending to marry him.
We're going home."

Lirin huffed. Big Brother's tone left absolutely no room for
argument. "I'm sorry my prince, but we can't get married just
yet."

Sanzo crossed his arms. "I'm devastated."

"I know!" Lirin perked up and pointed her finger. She had just
the perfect idea to make her wedding bliss a reality! "Since you
can't marry me now and I'm getting taken away by your enemy that
means only one thing. That leaves you with one thing to do, which is
why you have to come to Houtou Castle and rescue me properly! Then we
can get married and live happily ever after."

"Like hell."

"We're leaving, now." Kougaiji dragged his sister back towards
the windows. Let his sister marry that smoking, lush of a monk? Not a
chance in the fictional, daydream, or real world. Ever. "And
Dokugakuji, stop taking pictures. Yaone get the dragons ready."

"Right." Dokugakuji turned to the Sanzo party, tucking the camera
neatly away. He'd have to develop those shots as soon as possible
and stick them in the album. That and he was fairly certain Lirin
would hound him for her copies soon enough. Maybe Yaone would like a
copy or two as well. "Been short, but entertaining. See-ya guys
later!"

"Good-bye." Yaone waved happily before following a now grumpy
Lord Kougaiji and a chattering Lirin. She hoped Dokugakuji would make
plenty of copies of those photos. She giggled to herself. Sanzo
dressed as a prince was too much.

As soon as the invaders disappeared from view, Sanzo dropped himself
on the bed and searched through the pile of his clothes on the floor
for his cigarettes with a hand leaning over the side. He jumped
straight up when Lirin's orange colored hair popped up through the
window again shouting "You'd better come get me you bastard!"

"Ack!" Lirin was forcefully yanked back down from the window by
what Sanzo assumed was her big brother.

"It was weird." Goku noted. "Can you imagine Sanzo gettin'
married to Lirin and being a prince?"

"What a title that would be." Gojyo snickered ignoring the
twitching monk on the bed. "The Holy Prince, Thirty-first of China,
Priest Genjyo Sanzo."

Sanzo let out a full round on Gojyo's ass and lit a second
cigarette without even looking in the water sprite's direction. He
sighed and stuck his hand in his hair and pulled it foreword. Looking
up he could see the purple hair in front of his eyes instead of the
familiar blonde. "Hakkai, you said this stuff might be able to wash
out?"

Ignoring Goku's laughter at Gojyo's now traumatized state, Hakkai
answered from the corner of his mouth. "I'd assume so."

Standing Sanzo disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door as
loud as he could. It was a code-word for 'get the hell out of my
room before I kill you all."

Hakkai chuckled and Gojyo took his opportunity to fall over laughing.
Goku snickered as well but tried to hold it in. They all finally left
the room when the shots flew through the bathroom door and with
wonderful accuracy nicked the three of them on the cheeks. Hakkai
decided to put on an extra cup of tea and make sure the newspaper was
within reach whenever Sanzo decided to make a reappearance. He hoped
Gojyo and Goku had some sense.

Goku ducked out of the room fully amused, as did Gojyo. They'd have
to bug Lirin for the prints of today's events next time they made
an appearance. Blackmail was a beautiful thing indeed.

Inside his bathroom prison, Sanzo stared at the mess of purple on his
head and sighed. It was going to be a very long day so he decided to
just get to it and attempt to get the wretched clothes off of his
body. Plans of killing the others in creative fashions pulled a smile
on his face. It was okay to smile when no one could see.

-----

"Don't. Say. A. Word." Sanzo opened the door and took a seat in
the jeep next to everyone else who had been waiting. He ignored them
all best he could and kept his eyes straight ahead.

"Would never dream of it, Sanzo." Hakkai smiled and watched the
others in the rearview mirror. They looked like they wanted to say
something, in any case it would be a fascinating show.

"Yeah, Sunshine." Gojyo snickered. "Won't say a peep."

Goku sat up and took a closer look at Sanzo's head. "I kinda like
it."

"Just shut up." Sanzo grumbled and sunk into the seat. "I hear
one word until we get to the next city and you're all dead."

Hakkai chuckled and kept his eyes on the road while Gojyo lit a
cigarette and Goku's eyes remained glued to Sanzo's head. It
didn't look as bad as it had yesterday at any rate. Though, Hakkai
had wished Sanzo would have asked for help. But then again, he might
not get this peace and quiet otherwise. Looking at Gojyo and Goku he
figured he had at least an hour, maybe two before they decided Sanzo
was bluffing. He smiled and enjoyed the sunrise, which was
surprisingly reflected by Sanzo's hair.

Sanzo growled in his seat. The purple dye had refused to come out of
his hair even after about four washes. Faced with no other options,
he had put on his headpiece and golden crown to hide the monstrosity
that was his hair and had gone into town. The stupid dye he had
purchased to fix his hair hadn't worked. The coloring was defective
and the roots had turned red after he washed the excess dye out.
Eventually, the dye had spread irregularly and in the end, he ended
up with blonde hair with bright orange streaks running through it
sprouting from a red base.

It could have been worse though, at least his hair was sporting
someone natural colors. Purple, she had to pick purple. The little
brat, Genjyo Sanzo was no one's prince and he sure as hell wasn't
rescuing a princess on his own volition.

Though, Sanzo could appreciate the irony. He was indeed headed
towards Hontou Castle at the moment to, in effect, save Lirin and the
other demons from the minus wave and all that accompanied it. If that
kid had a good memory, he had a feeling he wouldn't live this event
down for a while.

Sanzo leaned back and chucked his still lit cigarette over the side.
No point in lingering on the thought and he gave into the nap that
was calling his name.

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