5/18/11

On a domestic note.

My husband has a serious problem.
Well, not that serious, but completely untreatable.
And serious enough that, had I known about it before we were married, we might have had more to talk about in pre-marital counseling.

The problem is this:

Unless husband is still asleep when I leave the apartment, I make the bed in the morning. It gives me a sense of peace about the overall presentability of our apartment (not that we're presenting our bedroom to anyone on a daily basis, but still). And every night as we're getting in bed, husband pulls back the covers and exclaims (as if it comes as a surprise to him) - "you are the worst bed-maker ever!"

And, aside from being a blow to my homey-homemaker ego, it's also completely untrue. I know how to make a bed. I've been doing it for roughly 17 years. It's a pretty simple procedure, really. If it looks like it's made, you probably did a decent job making it.

But not in husband's world. In husband's world, the sheets have to be perfectly even. The pillows have to be properly fluffed and turned the right direction. The quilt must be pulled up to the appropriate height, or, if it's too warm, it must be folded at the bottom of the bed. The accent pillows must be off the bed, usually propped up by the window to hide any sunlight that might rudely awaken the sleeping.

It's exhausting. And when he expressed this to me the first time, my response was something like, "Uh, yeah... I'd rather not."

You anti-Coventry Patmore women out there are probably thinking: he should be happy that you took the time to make the bed. YES. True, again. And if I was able to pay any of the bills from my meager salary, I would probably have more to say about that side of the issue. If this is one of the biggest challenges in our marriage, I'll take it.

And so I will accept my plight as the World's Worst Bed-Maker, married to the King of Symmetrical Sheets.

Oh, and the other serious problem?
He forces me to play games with him. All the time.
Where does it stop, people? WHERE DOES IT STOP?

Husband: In all seriousness, I love you and your "problems". Thanks for putting up with all of mine.