Round 1: EG Mum v Zaltu

She’s 6wks old and has already thrown down her gauntlet. Zaltu is definitely living up to her name and causing mischief.

EG Dad has only ever once come home from work and asked what I did during the day.

He lived to tell the tale, and warn others against such follies.

But particularly the last few weeks, he has shown great restraint – resisting the urges of his Clean Freak Tendencies.

Why? Mainly because the conversation would go like this:

“So… What did you do today?”

I caught shit.

Yes – baby poo.

With my bare hands.

And just when I finished cleaning that mess, I caught puke.

Yes – vomit.

With my bare hands.

Which is an achievement, since Zaltu projectile vomited across me to my chocolate last week. On purpose.

All. Before. Lunch.

Every time That Spawnling looks at me, I instantly think of this ad from Aldi.

Needless to say, I don’t think ANY nappy would have saved this. Zaltu has won this battle – that suit is not salvageable.

Now, pre-spawnlings I was a paralegal. Right up to advocate in Court. I know how to figuratively “catch the shit” flying around the office. I’ve physically chased down witnesses, argued with Registrars, and talked down suicidal defendants.