Still Wonderful

Out of the blue, Efryim Shore became paralyzed from the neck down.

It was the second day of Rosh Hashana in 2004. Efryim Barry Shore came home from a full morning of prayers feeling a little tired. After a light lunch he decided to take a nap. Efryim climbed into bed, never knowing that it would be the last time he climbed into bed on his own for a long time.

He woke up feeling groggy, tried his best to get dressed and then collapsed into a chair, unable to move. His teenage son Ezra ran to shul to get a local doctor. “You don’t look too good,” the doctor said. Together, they managed to carry Efryim to a taxi and sent him off to the hospital. “Don’t worry – I’ll be home tomorrow,” he told his wife Naomi.

“In the morning I was standing. That night I was a total quadriplegic.”

As the day progressed, it became harder and harder for Efryim to move his body, until he was completely paralyzed from the neck down.

“In the morning I was standing in shul just like you,” he recalled. “That night I was in the hospital – a total quadriplegic.”

Guillain–Barré Syndrome

In a standing frame that helps
train the body to be vertical.

The next thing he knew he woke up in a hospital bed with a woman doctor looking down at him. “Good morning Mr. Shore,” she said, introducing herself as a neurologist. “We believe that you have a very serious – possibly fatal – condition known as Guillain–Barré Syndrome (GBS). We’re going to administer some tests to confirm that.” He had never heard of Guillain–Barré Syndrome and wasn’t even sure how to pronounce it.

Guillain–Barré Syndrome, named after the two French doctors who identified it in 1916, is an autoimmune disease that causes the destruction, removal, or loss of the myelin sheath surrounding a nerve. This results in the rapidly progressive inflammation of nerves that causes loss of sensation, muscle weakness, and paralysis. The myelin sheath acts as an electrical insulator to nerve fibers. An average of 2 out of every 100,000 people is affected by Guillain–Barré each year.

GBS was confirmed after a spinal tap, delivered without anesthesia, showed a high level of protein in his spinal fluid. They administered Intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) to arrest the development of the condition, but they were uncertain if they could reverse the paralysis process.

Efryim spent the next 11 days in the Intensive Care Unit. All he could move was his head from left to right. “To be in the ICU for so long was very intense – no pun intended,” Efryim recounts. “Every 20 minutes doctors and nurses came in to do tests. I was so well taken care of it is almost beyond comprehension.”

Efryim spent four and a half months in various hospitals, including ten days in a telemetry unit, followed by four months in rehabilitation hospitals.

“I was surrounded by so much love.”

“I was surrounded by so much love,” Efryim recounts. “My wonderful wife prepared healthy homemade kosher food for me every day. The hospital staff was bowled over by everything this woman did for me.”

After his release Efryim spent the next two years in a hospital bed in his home, three years in a wheelchair, one and a half years with full length braces and walker, finally graduating to the ankle braces and walking stick that he uses today. For seven months after the incident he couldn’t pick up a plastic fork. The first time he tried to feed himself, the food ended up on his forehead but today he is literally back on his feet.

The Power of Water

Taking my first steps.

His road to recovery was long and hard. Efryim attributes his success to what he calls P.T.L.: Prayer, Therapy, and Love – in that order. “The prayers of everyone in addition to my own brought down the spiritual power to make everything work out. Until today I meet people who tell me that they’ve been praying for me all these years. I am so thankful for their help. The physical therapy was necessary to get my body working again and the love gave me the strength to persevere. But the love has to go both ways – giving and receiving.”

Today he continues to undergo daily physical therapy but his greatest improvement came about unexpectedly. When he was getting wheeled home after his lengthy hospital stay, Efryim’s neighbor, Vince Newman, asked him with real concern what had happened. “I can help you walk again,” he said with confidence. Although they had waved good morning to each other for years, Efryim never knew that Vince was a leading expert on Aqua Therapy – physical therapy in the water. Using a special disability lane in a nearby pool, he was able to help people who were unable to walk to swim and through swimming eventually walk again.

He swims three miles at a time – six days a week.

At first Efryim could just float in the water using a plethora of floating devices that surrounded his body. But within six months he was able to move all his limbs in water. Before long he was able to swim a backstroke and within a year he was able to walk in the water. He continued swimming daily, all the while regaining his strength and in 2006, he amazed himself when he swam the equivalent of a full mile. It took him 96 minutes. The next year he challenged himself to swim two miles every day. Now it takes him 52 minutes to swim a mile and he swims three miles at a time without stopping – six days a week. This summer, he will be completing his 3000th mile. His lesson to others: “Never give up, persevere. There’s no end to what you can do—just keep doing it!”

Serial Entrepreneur

Hiking with my walker.

In the midst of his remarkable recovery Efryim, who considers himself a “serial entrepreneur,” continued using his business skills. “I can’t move around very well but my mouth and mind seem to be working okay—I might as well use them.” He’s now on his fourth internet startup, this one titled, YouNeverLose.com, an innovative and fun auction site that offers a no risk opportunity to win prepaid/gift cards from top national brand names at huge discounts. Launched four months ago, it has already garnered CBS TV coverage, an AOL Finance article, a write up in Investor’s Business Daily and scores of other news and blog outlets. Directing a crew of 17 in several diverse locations including Israel, Efryim has the title of Founder and CVO: Chief Vision Officer. The website has already become profitable on an operational basis and he is out speaking with investors to raise more funding for what he believes can be a lucrative venture. Prior to this, Efryim’s notable ventures included a wholesale diamond business, an international calling service, and Fax4Free – bought out by eFax for over $10 million.

Keep Smiling

Throughout the long and arduous ordeal, Efryim somehow managed to stay positive. “This is where I am, this is what God wants from me. What can I do about it?” he asked rhetorically. “Why should I be angry? I’m alive. I’m talking.” His mother used to say that when people suffer they say “why me?” – accenting the “me” meaning, why do I have it so bad. She would encourage him to say it differently, with an accent on the “why”: “Why me?”- meaning why was I chosen to experience this and what can I learn from it?

”So I can’t do everything, but you do what you can, with what you have – and keep smiling!”

“But let’s be realistic,” Efryim says. “I’m still living it. I can’t run or jump, I need assistance 12 hours a day, I can’t get up the curb by myself, and I can’t walk up stairs without a banister. But I can be thankful for a banister when I find one or for the person who shows up at the right time to help me up the curb. So I can’t do everything, but you do what you can, with what you have, from where you are – and keep smiling!”

In fact, “Keep Smiling” has been Efryim’s motto for nearly two decades. Over 18 years ago, Efryim received a card in the mail from Rabbi Moshe Goldberger of the Yeshiva of Staten Island. The card said “Keep Smiling.” On the back was written the following:

A smile costs nothing, but gives much. It reaches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory can sometimes last a lifetime.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it and none is so poor but that he cannot be made richer by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged. A smile is sunshine to the sad and is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has none to give.

Efryim immediately contacted Rabbi Goldberger and requested permission to reproduce it. He printed 1000 cards and gave them away to everyone he met. Since then he and his distribution network have given out over 250,000 cards. The goal is to reach a million. (Anyone interested in helping him meet this goal can order cards for free at www.thedailysmile.com.) Efryim has had the card translated into 17 languages, including Hebrew, Yiddish, and Farsi. Most recently, the card has been translated into Braille. “They can’t see smiles, but people can see their smiles,” Efryim explains. “If a blind person has what to smile for, it can inspire others to smile too. It’s the essence of Judaism! The great Rabbi Avigdor Miller zt”l once said that it’s better to have an insincere smile than a sincere frown. This is the Jewish way: become a giver and spread the message of hope to make sure the world is living with peace, happiness, love, and joy. It changes the whole world—literally.”

Life is Wondrous

Efrayim with his son Ezra

Efryim is still an avid hiker. He regularly walks along the trails of the Santa Monica Mountains with the help of his attendant, walking stick, and leg braces. Whenever he meets someone on the trail he asks them if they’re having a good day or a great day. “We’re gonna upgrade you,” he says before handing them a “Keep Smiling” card. He next asks them if they have someone they love, and then gives them another card to give to their loved one. Then he says “now that you’ve given, you can receive,” and gives them another card.

One time when Efryim gave a fellow hiker a card, his face lit up. “This is just what I needed,” he said. He went on to tell them about how bad his life was going. He had just lost a job and everything looked gloomy. Two days later, Efryim got a call from a rabbi who told him that that man told his story on National Public Radio to millions of listeners.

“Stories like that happen all the time,” Efrayim says. “There’s nothing artificial about it. Just be yourself. It’s a gentle reminder that life is wondrous.” He later helped Aish’s Rabbi Ephraim Shore make cards for the “Don’t Blame, Don’t Complain” campaign to hasten their son Yaakov’s recovery from a serious car accident. Although not related, the two now have more in common than their name alone.

“We live with the axiom that light is greater than darkness.”

“Complaining is not the Jewish way,” he says with a hearty laugh. “Believe me, I’ve had some things to possibly complain about in my own life, but we live with the axiom that light is greater than darkness. Start spreading the light and the darkness will disappear! Get it, love it, internalize it, live it!”

Positive Thinking

Efryim attributes his positive attitude to a conversation he had with his aunt at the age of seven. Efryim, originally from Boston, was looking out the window on a stormy New England day. It was cold and rainy and Efryim could think of many reasons to be upset. “What a horrible day,” he exclaimed. Just then his aunt came up behind him and chided him for seeing the negative. “What are you talking about?” she asked. “The rain and snow are so good for the world. It helps the plants to grow, it fills the river basins, and gives us water to drink. We can’t survive without rain!”

“That was a seminal moment in my life,” he recalls. “My eyes were different from then on. I realized that I had a choice whether to see the good in a situation, or to focus on the opposite. Sometimes in the midst of a very hot or rainy day you can find yourself beginning to grumble and complain. Stop yourself right before the negative words leave your mouth and say, ‘Thank God I’m alive; I’m walking; I can smile!’” Efryim’s signature on his email says www but it isn’t followed by a domain name. Instead he gives new definition to the acronym – “What a Wonderful World!”

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About the Author

A native New Yorker, Gavriel Horan left the city right after high school to travel the world in search of spirituality. His journey took him to over a dozen countries where he backpacked, hitchhiked, and worked on farms while studying Native American Shamanism, Eastern Religions, and Islamic Mysticism. He eventually found his way to Israel in 2000 and discovered that Judaism was what he was searching for all along! In Israel he met his wife Rachel, originally from New Jersey. They lived in the Holy Land for eight years, where Rabbi Horan learned and taught Torah while working as a journalist and marketing writer. The Horans recently moved back to New York with their three children to join the team at Aish Albany.

Visitor Comments: 27

(20)
Jeanette,
March 2, 2015 1:01 AM

Honored to have met you

Mr. Shore your testimony is one to inspire and encourage many. My husband Simon and I met you at LAX on 02/24/15, we were heading to Vegas rode the plane with you. The cards you gave us has been a wonder. We've shared them and I'm in the process of becoming a distributor with you. Thanks to the Rabbi also. You and Simon sat in wheel chairs and chat until the time of our departure. While on the plane I gave you a couple cards back to give to the flight attendants. Blessings to you,

(19)
Doris,
January 28, 2015 3:21 AM

Contageous Smile

Thank you for sharing your story, Mr. Shore. Kvetching and complaining never solves anything. Eighty percent of a person's audience doesn't care and for the 20% who do - there is no need to upset them. It's covered in the Laws of Shmiras Ha Lashon/Guarding One's Tongue. No matter how down a person feels it is always best to wear a smile. The smiler will feel better and the recipient of that smile will be pleasantly surprised. May you be blessed with good health, long life, and the ability to keep smiling. It is contagious.

(18)
Annomos,
July 4, 2012 5:02 PM

Thank god you're all right

I was diognost with cancer 4 times this story gives me the chills it's such a butiefull story

(17)
herb,
June 13, 2012 1:21 AM

i had GBS -i was diagnosed this past dec-i was surrounded by the same love and compassion of all the caretakers and family-my faith and prayers helped me through it all-i have no memory of the first 3 weeks-may you continue to improve and stay healthy

Anonymous,
June 25, 2012 12:47 AM

YAY Beautiful JEW...may you have 100% recovery

PLEASE do not heistate to contact me....if i can be of help in any way will do.....most sincere best wishes, efryim....keep spreading JOY Happiness Peace & LOVE..

(16)
Anonymous,
June 12, 2012 6:41 AM

Thank you Mr Shore for your inspiring courage and positivism. It is truly a privilege to pray with you at the Link.

(15)
Cena,
June 12, 2012 6:18 AM

Just what I needed today

Thank you for the "virtual smile". It was just what I needed today!

(14)
moshe firestone,
June 12, 2012 1:39 AM

he walks in -- the room lights up

I see Ephraim almost everyday at synagogue when he comes to pray the afternoon prayer. His loving smile and greeting of "hello beautiful Jews!" changes the moods of every person in that room. I look forward to seeing him, it's a great lift for me and I'm a better person for knowing him. His joy of life is contagious, I recommend meeting him if you'd like to get a dose of a "natural smile high." Your life will be different after. Get some of his "smile cards" and you'll find extra smiles popping up around you.

(13)
Hoshea Lewenstein,
June 11, 2012 8:29 PM

An awesome, inspiring and heart-warming story.

It was really inspiring to read about how Tefillah and willpower were mobilized to overcome a debilitating situation. It was humbling to read about the super dedication of your wife. May Hashem give you and your family the strength to continue to fight for all that is good.
P.S. If you are the "Barry" I knew in Boston in the late 60's, please be in touch.
Hoshea

efryim,
June 25, 2012 12:45 AM

YES Hoshea....the same.....look forward to hearing from YOU

TY for sending your healing thoughts and love.....YES, the young man from Brookline.....living in southern california.....and glad to tell that was able to visit Eretz Yisroel for Pesach...first time in 8 years since my incident.....best wishes to you and your wondrous family....for JOY Happiness peace & LOVE....efryim

(12)
Victoria,
June 11, 2012 5:53 AM

The Power Plate

Dear Mr Shore, Thank you for demonstrating the love of God in the work you do, and for looking at life with such a positivity. For your information, and perhaps you're already aware of this, I have read and also seen on television various testimonies of healing and major improvement for quadriplegics using the Power Plate in therapy. In some cases the myelin sheath was regenerated. May I encourage you to look into it, plus muscle toning as a bonus, it might be worth looking into. God bless you, kind regards.

Anonymous,
June 25, 2012 12:51 AM

TY for the Power Plate information

YES, have looked in to it...and tried the machine a few times....diffcult to maintain balance and standing on it BUT if you have more information or am eager to try again....in my case the underlying nerves were 'fried' along with the myelin sheath....but one never knows...most sincere best wishes, efryim

(11)
Ilan Braun,
June 11, 2012 12:18 AM

Thanks

Many thanks to the author for telling us about this fantastic man, Efryim Shore! I am just amazed!
Ilan

(10)
Chavie Gottlieb,
June 10, 2012 11:45 PM

Continued hatzlacha and great smile!

Hi and wishing you a complete refuah. Thank you for the great inspiration and insight. I ordered these wonderful "keep smiling" cards for a geriatric program where I work and staff and participants are always delighted to receive them and walk out smiling. In fact, our nurse keeps one pasted to the front of the wall where she sits so she can always remember to "keep smiling" and encourage her patients to do the same. We have Baruch Hashem so much to smile about. Continued hatzlacha!

Re-pinned your story on my Challenged Children and Adults pinterest board. http://pinterest.com/pin/147141112795982179/
Staying strong by sharing knowledge and hope.

(8)
steve fink,
June 10, 2012 10:22 PM

Barry (Ephraim) Shore has been a Source of Light, Happiness & Inspiration

Barry (Ephraim) Shore has been a Source of Light & Happiness & Inspiration for me and so many others.
Ephraim, YOU, are a KIDDUSH HASHEM!
love,
-- your disciple steve fink

(7)
Ezra Shore,
June 10, 2012 7:25 PM

Dad!

Abba! You are one of the most amazing men I have ever met. Love you and see you soon!

(6)
Marjan Jacobson,
June 10, 2012 7:09 PM

It is great to hear that you are doing well Mr Shore.we still have a "keep smiling " card from many years ago,now I have it on my vision boad. You have always been an inspiration to my family and I. May you be blessed with health to inspire and touch more people's lives.

(5)
susan green,
June 10, 2012 6:01 PM

prayers did not save my love

Great story I lived it with my great love and Bashert , exactly the same story 3 months on life support, total paralysis, but then he turned septic, many, many infections, breathing machines, feeding tubes, tubes in every body outlet, morphene increased . In the end we had to remove life supports, with help of many doctors and Rabbis. It will be 10 year second day of Roshashona, and I am still trying to understand, and except it all. A wonderful man full of knowledge, love, giving, and torah, doing tafillin every single day we were tog 15 -20 years my second husband and live.

Anonymous,
June 15, 2012 11:52 PM

Courage

I was touched by your story. These things are difficult to understand.Tragedy and loss can be overwhelming. I wish I had words to console you and take away your pain.
Courage. I will prayer for you.

Anonymous,
June 25, 2012 12:55 AM

TY susan.....may you be comforted....reaching out across

time and space and enveloping you in HUGS.....may YOU be a source of JOY Happiness Peace & LOVE in memory and honor of great beloved bashert.......most sincere best wishes, efryim

(4)
Hannah W. Hellman,
June 10, 2012 5:37 PM

What an accomplishment!!!! May Hashem Bless You!!!

Dear Ephraim and Naomi,
I'm so proud to be able to say that I am your friend. I'm trying my best to follow in your footsteps. You set an example that is above and beyond!! May Hashem grant you a full Refuah Shelema so that you can continue in your wonderful work of Chessed. Always with a smile...
Have a Great Day!!!
Much Love,
Hannah

(3)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2012 5:19 PM

HOW WONDERFUL TO HEAR SUCH A STORY WITH AHAPPY ENDING. HASHEM IS SO WONDERFUL

(2)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2012 11:32 AM

Wow!

What an incredibly inspirational man. Wild.

(1)
Avraham Walkin,
June 10, 2012 10:20 AM

Ephraim! so good to read about you

we really missing you here - can't wait for your next visit. BTS all my cards are finished!!!!

Anonymous,
June 25, 2012 12:58 AM

TY Avraham.....YAY....saw that you and the family are in

NY......ok.....ready for MORE cards.....just send an email and say how many and which languages....here to serve.....most sincere best wishes for continued JOY Happiness Peace & LOVE....efryim

I'm told that it's a mitzvah to become intoxicated on Purim. This puzzles me, because to my understanding, it is not considered a good thing to become intoxicated, period.

One of the characteristics of the at-risk youth is their use of drugs, including alcohol. In my experience, getting drunk doesn't reveal secrets. It makes people act stupid and irresponsible, doing things they would never do if they were sober. Also, I know a lot about the horrible health effects of abusing alcohol, because I work at a research center that focuses on addiction and substance abuse.

Also, I am an alcoholic, which means that if I drink, very bad things happen. I have not had a drink in 22 years, and I have no intention of starting now. Surely there must be instances where a person is excused from the obligation to drink. I don't see how Judaism could ever promote the idea of getting drunk. It just doesn't seem right.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Putting aside for a moment all the spiritual and philosophical reasons for getting drunk on Purim, this remains an issue of common sense. Of course, teenagers should be warned of the dangers of acute alcohol ingestion. Of course, nobody should drink and drive. Of course, nobody should become so drunk to the point of negligence in performing mitzvot. And of course, a recovering alcoholic should not partake of alcohol on Purim.

Indeed, the Code of Jewish Law explicitly says that if one suspects the drinking may affect him negatively, then he should NOT drink.

Getting drunk on Purim is actually one of the most difficult mitzvot to do correctly. A person should only drink if it will lead to positive spiritual results - e.g. under the loosening affect of the alcohol, greater awareness will surface of the love for God and Torah found deep in the heart. (Perhaps if we were on a higher spiritual level, we wouldn't need to get drunk!)

Yet the Talmud still speaks of an obligation on Purim of "not knowing the difference between Blessed is Mordechai and Cursed is Haman." How then should a person who doesn't drink get the point of “not knowing”? Simple - just go to sleep! (Rama - OC 695:2)

All this applies to individuals. But the question remains - does drinking on Purim adversely affect the collective social health of the Jewish community?

The aversion to alcoholism is engrained into Jewish consciousness from a number of Biblical and Talmudic sources. There are the rebuking words of prophets - Isaiah 28:1, Hosea 3:1 with Rashi, and Amos 6:6, and the Zohar says that "The wicked stray after wine" (Midrash Ne'alam Parshat Vayera).

It is well known that the rate of alcoholism among Jews has historically been very low. Numerous medical, psychological and sociological studies have confirmed this. The connection between Judaism and sobriety is so evident, that the following conversation is reported by Lawrence Kelemen in "Permission to Receive":

When Dr. Mark Keller, editor of the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol, commented that "practically all Jews do drink, and yet all the world knows that Jews hardly ever become alcoholics," his colleague, Dr. Howard Haggard, director of Yale's Laboratory of Applied Physiology, jokingly proposed converting alcoholics to the Jewish religion in order to immerse them in a culture with healthy attitudes toward drinking!

Perhaps we could suggest that it is precisely because of the use of alcohol in traditional ceremonies (Kiddush, Bris, Purim, etc.), that Jews experience such low rates of alcoholism. This ceremonial usage may actually act like an inoculation - i.e. injecting a safe amount that keeps the disease away.

Of course, as we said earlier, all this needs to be monitored with good common sense. Yet in my personal experience - having been in the company of Torah scholars who were totally drunk on Purim - they acted with extreme gentleness and joy. Amid the Jewish songs and beautiful words of Torah, every year the event is, for me, very special.

Adar 12 marks the dedication of Herod's renovations on the second Holy Temple in Jerusalem in 11 BCE. Herod was king of Judea in the first century BCE who constructed grand projects like the fortresses at Masada and Herodium, the city of Caesarea, and fortifications around the old city of Jerusalem. The most ambitious of Herod's projects was the re-building of the Temple, which was in disrepair after standing over 300 years. Herod's renovations included a huge man-made platform that remains today the largest man-made platform in the world. It took 10,000 men 10 years just to build the retaining walls around the Temple Mount; the Western Wall that we know today is part of that retaining wall. The Temple itself was a phenomenal site, covered in gold and marble. As the Talmud says, "He who has not seen Herod's building, has never in his life seen a truly grand building."

Some people gauge the value of themselves by what they own. But in reality, the entire concept of ownership of possessions is based on an illusion. When you obtain a material object, it does not become part of you. Ownership is merely your right to use specific objects whenever you wish.

How unfortunate is the person who has an ambition to cleave to something impossible to cleave to! Such a person will not obtain what he desires and will experience suffering.

Fortunate is the person whose ambition it is to acquire personal growth that is independent of external factors. Such a person will lead a happy and rewarding life.

With exercising patience you could have saved yourself 400 zuzim (Berachos 20a).

This Talmudic proverb arose from a case where someone was fined 400 zuzim because he acted in undue haste and insulted some one.

I was once pulling into a parking lot. Since I was a bit late for an important appointment, I was terribly annoyed that the lead car in the procession was creeping at a snail's pace. The driver immediately in front of me was showing his impatience by sounding his horn. In my aggravation, I wanted to join him, but I saw no real purpose in adding to the cacophony.

When the lead driver finally pulled into a parking space, I saw a wheelchair symbol on his rear license plate. He was handicapped and was obviously in need of the nearest parking space. I felt bad that I had harbored such hostile feelings about him, but was gratified that I had not sounded my horn, because then I would really have felt guilty for my lack of consideration.

This incident has helped me to delay my reactions to other frustrating situations until I have more time to evaluate all the circumstances. My motives do not stem from lofty principles, but from my desire to avoid having to feel guilt and remorse for having been foolish or inconsiderate.

Today I shall...

try to withhold impulsive reaction, bearing in mind that a hasty act performed without full knowledge of all the circumstances may cause me much distress.

With stories and insights,
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