I Don’t Want To Be The Richest Man In The Graveyard

[Hey guys! Got a great guest post for you to marinate on, courtesy of a new favorite blogger of mine, Tim from TubofCash.com. Fascinating guy, and a helluva reminder of why we’re REALLY chasing after all this money in our lives…. Hope it gets you to stop and think for a bit!]

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Backstory on Tim: An entrepreneur and self-made Korean American immigrant, Tim came here from Budapest, Hungary at the age of 18 with literally only $500 in his pocket. By the age of 31 he had became a self-made millionaire. He’s currently a VP at a privately-owned mid-sized company, and has given away over $20,000 in cash and products on his personal blog with more slated to come. One of his many goals is to give away millions of dollars a year to aspiring entrepreneurs and to those in need.

At My Core, I’m Super Frugal

You wouldn’t have thought this going off of the amount of giveaways I do, but the fact is, I’m frugal.

I guess some of it’s psychological baggage from growing up in a missionary/pastor household, because we were relatively poor. I remember growing up always being cognizant that the clothes on our back and the food on our plates were made possible through other peoples’ donations.

I remember when I found out, sometime in high school, that my parents brought in about $1,500 a month feeling so relieved!

Granted, the standard of living in Hungary is a lot lower than here in California where my wife, my kid, and I reside today, but that’s why I’m careful to point out that we were “relatively” poor. Not poverty. But not anywhere close to even lower middle class by any stretch of the imagination. Especially when compared to the median household income in a developed country like the USA.

Case in point – I remember my first retail experience was in college, when I bought some new clothes at a local Ross. I thought it was such a big deal back then!

Money Is Not The End Goal

As I’ve mentioned, at the crux of my being, I am hardcore frugal.

But I’ve been actively trying to bust out of that mentality.

Why?

To put it simply, it’s because I don’t want to be the richest man in the graveyard.

When we, as a household, hit millionaire status earlier this year, I thought there would be trumpet fanfare, multi-colored skittles shooting out of both ends of a rainbow, and leprechauns holding hands dancing in a circle.

Come to find out, it’s pretty meh. That’s how I felt. Meh.

Nothing changed.

No fanfare, no rainbows, no leprechauns. In that moment, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. You’d think I’d be happy, because becoming a millionaire was a long-held goal and dream of mine. I thought I would feel fantastic. But instead, I felt like a “barely-millionaire.” A short dip in the markets would’ve brought us hurtling back down to non-millionaire status.

Now that I think about it, it was actually more anxiety-inducing than when we were at $900K.

Odd right?

Anyways, I started reflecting more on what it meant to have wealth. Like, what’s the end goal? To have $2 million? What then? To have $3 million? And would I feel the same way every time I hit those milestones?

Was money truly the end goal?

How Much Time Do I Have Left?

Here’s something that won’t happen:

Being 90, lying in bed, happy as a plum that I have one more zero at the end of my net worth than the previous year.

Does that sound realistic? Chances are statistically higher that I’ll probably have dementia, be bed-bound, and will be eating pre-digested liquefied food out of a straw while the nurse washes my nether regions because I can’t do it myself.

Okay, that was a bit morbid, but let me ask you something: is it in any way false?

Isn’t that just the reality of life?

We as human beings live through a total of about 60 to 80 Christmases. That’s it! And at my current age, I only have about 30 to 50 more Christmases left to go, barring a huge medical and/or technological breakthrough that greatly extends our lives.

So Again, If Not Money, Then What?

And keep in mind, it’s not that money is inherently evil or bad. I see it strictly as a resource. Like salt (back in the day soldiers used to get paid in salt: hence the saying “worth one’s salt”).

At the end of the day, when I’m in my coffin being lowered down into my grave: all the money in my bank account, my IRA’s, my 401K’s, my taxable accounts – they’ll all mean nothing. I’d be as dead as every other person in that graveyard. No different.

So here’s what’s important: Legacy.

It’s what lasts!

And this brings me to today…

Since money is transient, I hunger much more for legacy.

I want to create an impact on the world, an impact on society, in our communities, all over the globe! I want to create businesses that employs tens of thousands of people!

There will come a day when my motherland, North and South Korea, will be unified once more (hopefully sooner than later; once we trounce the tyrannical regime over there in North Korea) and I want to be there opening factories and businesses so that people can earn livable wages.

I also want to bring in missionaries and plant local churches and create schools for the children, so that they can have a standard education like every other kid in the rest of the world.

These are my plans. These are my goals. And even as I’m writing this, I’m getting jittery with excitement just thinking about it!

I’ll Leave You With This…

It’s never too early to start thinking about your legacy. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. How do you want to touch the lives of others? What enduring legacies do you want to leave behind to your children, your community, your loved ones?

Be intentional! Support causes that you believe in and that are important to you and your values! Be an example of leadership within your circle of influence so that you can positively affect others.

Lastly, be intentional about sharing your blessings with others. Whether it’s financially, with your time and energy, or mentoring others through your own personal journey and experience.

There really is no use in being the richest man in the graveyard. Get your legacy going now and start impacting the world! What will it be for you??

*******Tim is the founder of the personal finance and career blog, TubofCash.com. He’s on a mission to help generation Y and Z become financially literate, and strives to be a good mentor for people. You can find him on Twitter as well as on Facebook too.

I Don’t Want To Be The Richest Man In The Graveyard was last modified: November 10th, 2017 by Team

This is beautiful, Tim! Leaving a legacy and impacting others in a positive way is one of the best uses of money I can think of. One of the reasons my husband and I save is that we hope to be able to have the time and energy to dedicate to our local community. We want to help develop and support programs that encourage healthy, active, outdoor-oriented lifestyles, especially with the youth.

I agree – Tim, beautiful and inspiring article. And Mrs. Adventure Rich, so cool to hear about your plans! I totally resonate with those. I have spent a lot of time over the last two years working to get a greenway trail system established in my small southern college town. And we had our first segment (a pedestrian bridge) dedicated today.

Making money is fun. But figuring out how to use the money and your free time to make a big impact is even more exciting.

That’s so cool Chad! We need more of those. I imagine that’s how the future will look because cities are becoming more and more urbanized, so we’ll need those greenway trail systems all throughout the city to encourage exercise. And there’s nothing as relaxing as seeing a lot of greenery instead of big city skyscrapers! Thanks for reading!

One of my blog buddies and most favorite bloggers just published a beautifully written piece on Budgets Are Sexy. What’s not to like about him?

I’m with you on creating a legacy and leaving an impact. Mr. FAF also shared that goal with me. The reality is that money talks. It’s possible to make an impact Wii th much money. But when you are wealthy, the impact with be multiplied.

You see, I’m FIREd and 57 and I don’t really have any legacy in mind. I want to leave a financial inheritance to my sons which I suppose is some form of modest legacy. But I don’t really have any bigger legacy plans. I have to think about this more…

I certainly agree that being the richest man in the grave will do nothing for you. I am also on the path to create financial literacy awareness in my community. I hope to achieve financial independence in about seven to ten years so I can start volunteer to teach personal finance in high school.

Living and doing what I am passionate about on a modest lifestyle is much more important to me than being in the rat race and live a lavish lifestyle. Hence. I will most likely not work for money once I reached the $2M net worth mark.

Thank you for sharing this post today! It never stops to amaze me that wonderful feeling you will give everyone that reads this post today! Tim you are an inspiration and will make a difference in this world. We live in such trying times and to see one person want to make a difference for so many just puts a smile on my face and makes my Friday a good one!

Great post! I’m looking into setting up a Donor Advised Fund after seeing some blog posts about them recently. I’d love to start companies that employ tons of people, but I don’t know if I’m smart enough to do that :)

You and me both! Haha… I’ve been curious about these funds as well, but afraid to dive in more because I like to give money *directly* to people however I want and something tells me there are many more rules going the DAF route… Though fortunately it doesn’t stop me from just doing The Good now anytime I want anyways :)

I have over $200k in a DAF. It’s incredibly easy to give through it. Every organization that I’ve wanted to give to is listed as a charity in the DAF, including my grade school and high school. I recently set up a perpetually endowed scholarship fund at my high school through the DAF, and coordinated the scholarship directly with the alumni association.

The DAF is great in that it simplifies tax reporting. Give a big lump sum that you get an immediate tax break for, and then take your time doling it out over subsequent years.

The one negative I’ve experienced is trying to donate to friends’ charity campaigns. I can donate to the charity, but I don’t think there’s a way to have the donation recognized on the roll for the friend’s specific campaign.

Very interesting… I don’t think you can give money to non-charities through DAFs right? that’s what I’d want to keep doing… I get much more out of helping people directly in person that I come across who needs help asap that don’t necessarily get support from charities :(

Very nice Tim! If someone can optimize their money perfectly, they would die broke having used each dollar on the best available option each time. I love that you are using your money to help others so early in your journey. Most wait until the end of life to do so and don’t get to see the rewards from their generosity. It’s interesting how your frugalness has allowed you to be so generous. Congrats on doing so much good!

Great post. I can relate to it 100%. We just exceeded the $1M net worth threshold last summer. We reached that net worth by smart living and investing. I too am trying to learn to save less. We currently save 50% of our gross pay. I have to keep telling myself that is enough. The saver in me wants to keep saving more and more. It is hard to change a good habit after you followed a way of life for 20 plus years. I am slowly learning that it is ok to spend some of our money and enjoy today. As you said, I don’t want to be the richest person in the graveyard.

Hi Dave! Yeah, I think the longer you do it, the more ingrained it becomes; I’ve heard a lot of fellow FIRE’d people having a hard time actually spending their money because they’re so used to saving that it’s hard to reverse the psychology. You guys are killing it though, 50% is awesome, and you guys are in the 2 comma club, congrats!

Beautifully written, and so true. We are blessed to be able to be on a level high enough to thing altruistically about leaving a legacy. It is such a shame that our society is set up such that the majority of our most creative and productive years are siphoned away working for someone else’s dream, and by the time we’ve amassed enough money to buy time, we are too old and tired to start building our own. Your dreams sound like the kind to make many others’ lives better, I hope you can achieve them!

Hi Cody, yes and no! I agree on the freedom part. Being financially independent is so freeing. That said, personally, I want my kids to exercise, hone, and utilize their own abilities to create something of value. I would hate to just hand it to them! I resonate with what Warren Buffet said about his own kids “Enough money so that they would feel they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing.” Although I tilt a little more towards them having to create their own financial means because that’s the only way they’re going to really learn: through trial and error!

When I could see the finish line (ie financial independence) I decided that I could ease up. My wife and I have now given away over $800,000 over the past 15 years, primarily to health care and arts organizations in our community. We have enough. I plan to steward the dough I have well, but I am not going to kill myself with work.

We also decided that there really isn’t anything in the way of “stuff” (material possessions) that motivate us. I guess we’ve given away the equivalent of 4 Ferraris over the past years. That doesn’t matter. You aren’t what you drive. I drive a mini van – practical and cheap. We decided to spend our remaining time doing interesting things with people we love, and try to make a difference in our community.

When you are young you need to focus on your own financial situation. That doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do for charity. Volunteer with an organization whose values fit yours. Lend your expertise to a non profit Board. Be a creative fund raiser by auctioning off cool experiences at charity auctions. There are lots of things you can do that don’t require massive cash when you are young.

I once aspired to have a million dollars in “birth year dollars”, that is, after inflation having the equivalent to a millions dollars in the year I was born. As I am older this is a large number (over $8.7 million in current dollars). I’m over 2/3 of the way there, but a funny thing has happened: it is no longer important to me. I may get there someday. I’d probably be there already if I was miserly, but it doesn’t matter to me. I’d rather use my dough to make a difference in my community than strive to get to a number.

I get so excited when there is a new story up, not only does it make me look at finances better, it’s always a bit of a soul searching post.

I once knew a man who was so driven by money and goals that it simply consumed his life. A good man, a gentleman, but everything came to a screeching halt one cold December afternoon with one sentence from a doctor.
For the next thirteen months, there were bucket-lists, extreme attempts at what I call a legacy leaving, and then time ran out, and he was called home.

So, Tim, you are not alone with the skittles pouring out of the side of the rainbows, I have been there. Over the past dare I say, decade I have reached goals that I had had for so many years…and there was nothing. There is that saying, or perhaps it was in a song once, that it is not about the destination, but the journey. Although it sounds trite, it is one of the simplest lessons that I have learned…it just took 40 years.(haha)

Maybe this is one of the greatest secrets of life, to embrace today, DO SOMETHING GOOD, today, and to remember that the end goal never “feels” like you thought it would? Life is a beautiful mess, and in that mess when you are broken or shattered…that my friend is when God starts building what He wants for you, so much better than any well laid man made plan could ever be.

Romans 10:17
1 CORINTHIANS 14:33
PSALM 32:8

When he puts something on your heart, He will find a way!! Remember too, that you are already a world changer my friend!

Oh Tim you beautiful creature. I completely agree and it’s like we’re twins. I want a legacy more than anything and we’re currently dangling by in the 900k ($996k to be exact) and it just gives me anxiety that we would be knocked back during a tumble. It shouldn’t matter even because the numbers are arbitrary. It is really odd!!!

Hey Lily!!! Haha, thanks for the nice words =) Sheesh. $996K at your age….that is…awesome!!! Wow, tremendous achievement. Try not to stress, because money is so fluid. You guys are seriously killing it though!

What a great post! I completely agree with you, Tim! I always think about that: we save and save and save and we worry as to whether money will ever be enough, but sometimes we really need to think about living now. What are we going to do with all this money when we are not here anymore?
Time is so precious, and in pursuing FI, we never have to forget to be HAPPY. Every day that goes by without happiness, is a day that we will never be able to buy back, no matter how much money we have.
It is so easy to get lost and forget what’s really important!
Leaving a legacy, helping others, make other people happy: we should really spend more time doing that, instead of keep checking how much our net worth is every day!
Thanks for such an inspiring post!

Thank you Sara! I’m glad it inspired you! I think it’s one of those, “we all know it, but it’s still hard to do it.” We all know our times are finite on this earth. So every single day that goes by is another day we won’t have back. And yet we “slave away” in hopes of the last 10% of our lives to be in comfort; and yet…there are just so many variables and comfort is probably not one of them from a feasibility standpoint at age 95 when one’s body is physically breaking apart =(

This was an amazing post! Thank you so much for sharing such thought provoking content. Really, if you think about it, the end goal for most people is reaching that next level status without thinking about legacy at all. I mean, I didn’t even think about it that way until reading this post! This was a great reminder for me to stop and rethink what my priorities really are.

It’s worth pointing out that a ‘legacy’ can mean different things. For me, my legacy is going to be in my family. This is exactly why I gave up working a 9-5 job… so I could spend more time with my family.

Really good point about leaving a legacy. I’ve been contemplating about my own legacy for quite some time now. My dream is to be able to start an elementary school in the Philippines named after myself or my children, which I’m sure you can with as little as a million dollars (a ton of money, in that country- if you factor the cost of living). Maybe this behavior is a bit narcissistic, but at least you get to contribute greatly to society in a positive way.

Hi Menard!! I think we’re all a bit narcissistic to a certain extent, so don’t beat yourself up for thinking that way! It’s a “human” condition, I think. But hey, what you’ll do will bring a ton of positives with it that’ll help a ton of others so don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!

Haha yeah, agree here with Tim. If you’re giving away a million dollars you get to put your name on it or whatever the hell you want! That $$$ is going to change a ton of lives later and is more than what 99.999% of people will ever do :)

I love this. It’s so easy to get caught up in the race toward milestones or achievements but what does it really mean to reach a certain net worth or to reduce your debt to zero? Money is just a means to an end. For me the end is freedom to have choices and not be stuck in a trap doing things I don’t want to do.

Hey Budget Kitty! Agreed. Absolutely. Life is just too short to be stuck in a trap doing things you don’t want to. I read somewhere that the top factor contributing to unhappiness in the workplace is from lack of autonomy! So true!

Great write up as usual Tim! I think about leaving a legacy numerous times since my son was born. For me, I think passing on my knowledge to my son and enjoying my time with my family are a couple of ways I want to leave my legacy. Also being a loving and responsible person to those close to me.

Tim, this is fantastic! You said exactly what we’re all thinking “I don’t want to be the richest man in the graveyard.” And growing up poor as an immigrant, after moving to Canada from rural China, I know exactly what it felt like to buy retail clothing in college for the first time. Prior to that, everything was from Goodwill, garage sales, or hand-me-downs.

I also love how you talk about legacy and needing to make positive changes and give back. That’s the true meaning of life.

Tim, this is really a great post so first let me say thanks for sharing. Not sure if it’s coincidence or not but our CEO recently talked to young employees at work and he was asked what he wanted his legacy to be. Initially the guy did not know. He simply said that when his time came he wanted to hand a better company to the one he was given. The same could be said about PF. We could all reach FI while leaving a legacy behind. What legacy means for everyone that’s a whole different story. Dude great post again … I can’t stop thinking about it :)

“Self-made Korean American immigrant” LMAO. One day I aspire to be a self-made immigrant. (You mean “self-made millionaire,” I’m sure).

This is very well-written. It hits home. It’s why, at 22, I’m making international travel one of my biggest priorities. My first job, I was a deli clerk at a grocery store. I got to see people every single day — average, every-day, middle-class people, people who I thought had it all figured out — come into the store depressed and tired after a long day at work. Never smiling, never happy. Every day bleeding into the next, everyone was always looking for something DIFFERENT to happen. Something to break them out of the monotony.

It made me wonder: What the fuck is the point?

You work hard in high school so you can get into a good college.
You work hard in college so you can get a six-figure job.
You work hard at that job, 60-80hrs/week, so you can, if you’re lucky, become a VP.
You buy a big house and a nice car.
Then you find out your wife’s fucking the next door neighbor.
Then your wife finds out you’re fucking the secretary.
And then you realize, before you ship them off to college, you don’t even really know your kids.
Then you retire and you don’t even have the energy to spend all the money you saved.
So you spend a couple idyllic months on the beach before you start losing your mind.

That’s it. The American Dream.

I, for one, don’t want to travel the world at 60. I want to do it now. I have the rest of my life to work.

On another note: “Barring a huge medical and/or technological breakthrough that greatly extends our lives,” I think this is on its way. My great-grandmother lived to be 101 (her advice: “Always Keep Busy”), and she never went beyond the first stage of dementia. I think, if you eat healthy and exercise, you should live a very long life.

Hi Phil, thank you for your honesty! I agree with your assessment =) Most people live lives like that, and it’s a shame. I think we’re fortunate to have realized this so early! Especially you at 22, wow! Thanks for reading!

A friend of mine, his parents saved & scrimped their whole lives, always saving for a rainy day. They only left their home state ONCE to drive to a funeral. “Vacations” were day trips to the beach, casino or to visit someone. They couldn’t wait to travel the world when they retired. You guessed it. 3 months after they retired, he was diagnosed with asbestos cancer & unable to leave his home town where all his doctors were. He was only retired a few years when he passed away. While my friend did quite well saving for retirement, he made it a point to take 2 real vacations every year all over the USA/Canada/Europe. There’s more to life than saving every extra penny you ever made & being the richest guy in the graveyard!

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