Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Dating As the Dust Settles

Dear Nicole, Me and someone have a longtime crush. They just broke up with their partner. Both of these revelations came at the same time. How do I stay out of the breakup shrapnel zone so I don't get rippedup and can have my own dang relationship?Signed, Trying to Keep it Cool

Dear Cool,

Do you want this to become something other than a fling?
If so, I advise you to cool your jets.

Take some physical space for at least 2 weeks (preferable
two MONTHS) to give your
crush some room to be sad and not fill that feelings-hole with
you.
Then start slow, like actual dating.

A Side Note, Confidential to Lesbians across the U.S.:"Dating" is a prolonged series of short hangouts intended for you to suss out if someone is a good romantic fit before you spend every waking moment together & dive into a super-bonded faux marriage. Sometimes *some* people become overwhelmed with their feelings(or p*ssy) and chain themselves to someone whose faults they don't even know yet. To those I say, chill! Date! Date around!

Anyway, back to Cool,
Be strict! Your crush will be lonely and you will be
excited, and it will be tough to say no,
but chew a stick if you have to and wait it out.
If your crush has lasted this long, it can sustain
another couple of weeks/months while the dust is
settling.

Last but not least, think of the feelings of the
person your crush is breaking up with. You need
to respect their space, the relationship they've had
that is falling apart, and give them some time to
have a proper funeral.