Rosemary Freitas Williams, Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Military Community and Family Policy

Domestic Violence Prevention: Everyone Deserves a Life Free of Abuse

By Rosemary Freitas Williams, Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Military Community and Family PolicyOct. 15, 2015

It starts with respect – specifically, to hold in esteem or honor, to show regard or consideration for someone’s rights or preferences. Not by accident, each of the military services has a set of core values to live by; they include the words “respect,” “service before self,” or “honor.” Just as each service branch has its set of core values, so should every relationship, personal or professional.

The Department of Defense is committed to preventing domestic abuse, encouraging prompt reporting, supporting victims and providing appropriate treatment or intervention for all family members affected by the sad business of abuse. We join the nation in observing Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This year, we focus on relationship core values that promote healthy relationships and prevent abuse.

Core values are more than just talk. They are lived and reflected in what we do day to day, as well as in all of our interactions. Looking at it more closely, every healthy relationship starts with mutual respect and includes all of these core values:

Respect

Trust

Commitment

Integrity

Selflessness

Not to overstate the obvious, domestic violence goes against all relationship core values. If they are grounded in our deep-seated beliefs, they become an internal compass to guide our actions and behaviors. Consider these tips to keep your own relationship healthy and strong and also be able to take action to support victims and help end abuse by knowing, acting and providing support.

Know the facts:

Domestic violence impacts women, men and children of every age, background and belief; anyone can be a victim.

Nearly one in four women and one in seven men in the United States have suffered severe physical violence by an intimate partner.

Abuse can be verbal, physical, emotional or sexual.

Some of the most hurtful and long-lasting forms of abuse never leave a bruise.

Act: Each of us has a role to play in the prevention of domestic abuse.

Start at home:

Teach your children about relationship core values. It’s never too early to start.

Set the example for your child’s future relationships by modeling respectful communication and constructive conflict resolution.

Make it clear in word and deed that domestic abuse is unacceptable.

Invest in your relationships. Healthy relationships don’t just happen; they take time and effort.

Commit to living the relationship core values and working through problems in a healthy way.

Be an agent of change:

Lead by example – show how living by relationship core values can help build safe relationships.

Encourage others to reach out to the Family Advocacy Program for help with healthy relationship skills and common relationship challenges.

Offer resources and compassion to a person you suspect is in an abusive relationship.

Have courage, do the right thing and call 911 to report abuse when you witness it.

Support is available 24/7

The Family Advocacy Program provides a range of services that support the safety, well-being and readiness of military families. This includes helping families develop healthy relationship and coping skills to prevent violence, as well as providing victim safety and counseling resources.

At the heart of our core values is our care for the most vulnerable – our military children. We recently launched an awareness campaign to prevent child abuse and neglect. It’s called Safe and Sound. Read about the campaign here. Use the information. We can’t do it alone, and we need your support and engagement.

Core values provide the foundation for doing what’s right, including speaking up and taking action to prevent domestic abuse. Working together with our military and civilian communities, we can change our culture to prevent domestic abuse.

We will not stand by and allow domestic abuse to destroy families and relationships. Now more than ever, the health of future generations depends on our united support. Join installation and community efforts to speak out against abuse and reach out to those in need of help and support. Together we can end domestic violence.​Follow the Department of Defense on Facebook and Twitter!