Lady Gaga's Leak

Unless this morning's leak is a spoof (so incredibly hard to tell with Gaga) the doyenne of conceptual pop is set to release a track called Burqa, a song so absurd it immediately wins a place in our celebration of utterly ridiculous lyrics.

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Lady Gaga: Burqa

'Put it on, conceal your hair/ Disturb the unaware/ Bitch I've been on the cover of Vanity Fair/ Let's get it on, religious risky fashion.'

Gaga! No.

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Shakira: Whenever, Wherever

'Lucky that my breasts are small and humble/ So you don't confuse them, with mountains.'

Say whaaaat?

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Des'ree: Life

'I don't want to see a ghost/ It's the sight that I fear most/ I'd rather have a piece of toast/ Watch the evening news.'

Yes, it rhymes. But does it make sense?

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Busted: Year 3000

'I've been to the year 3000/ Not much has changed but they live underwater…'

Actually, Busted, that's a pretty big change.

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Snap!: Rhythm Is A Dancer

'I'm serious as cancer/ When I say, rhythm is a dancer.'

Totes inappropes.

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R Kelly: Ignition

'Cristal poppin' in the stretch Navigator/ We got food everywhere/ As if the party was catered.'

Oh, R Kelly. Food is catering.

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One Direction: Kiss You

'I just want to show you off to all of my friends/ Making them drool down their chinny-chin-chins.'