A Letter To My God-Fearing (Conservative) Parents

“If we hand our sons and daughters a faith exposed as misogynistic, racist, unconcerned about creation and the poor, they aren’t wrong to leave it.” -Jonathan Martin

Dear (Spiritual) Parents,

This letter is for you. Yes, for all you God-fearing pastors, mentors and 1990’s youth leaders. And for all you Bible-believing moms and dads who taught us about the value of hard-work and going to church well-dressed.

I’ll start with gratitude, because your wisdom and integrity are part of the foundation on which we stand.

And yet where we stand looks so different to what you built. The tide is drastically changing. And somehow, we need to understand each other (because we need each other to heal).

So it is with humility that I’ll write for us, in the hope that this will help you understand why we think, vote, tweet, dress, differently than you.

And note that we are fully aware that we could be wrong about all of this.

But maybe we’re not.

You see, we are not afraid of words like socialism, homosexuals or Hollywood. We are cool with tattoos, doing a bit of yoga, drinking a bit of wine and hanging out with muslims and/or communists and/or people who would be “left behind.”

More than that, we believe in the message of the cross more than we believe in having a cross in every corner. We believe in God’s love for all humanity more than we believe in only Israel and America as God’s elect. We believe kindness and compassion are more powerful than fear and judgment. And we won’t vote conservative just because they say they are anti-abortion.

We don’t like abortion either! But we’re not convinced that politicians will ever make it stop… we think that it’s up to us. To be properly pro-life. And that means EVERY life.

The immigrant.

The refugee.

The man on death row.

And the little one in the womb.

So we will preach more pro-adoption than anti-abortion.

We will sing more pro-love than anti-sin.

It’s true, we might vote for a democratic candidate one day. Just as much as we might vote republican or libertarian. Or not vote at all.

This is NOT rebellion against you.

You were just so good at getting us into the Bible, that we started to read it for ourselves and started paying attention to Jesus.

And we’re convinced that Jesus is what God has to say.

This is what we actually want to be conservative about… conserve (and preserve) the words and style of Christ himself.

His gospel of peace. His good news for the poor. His healing of the broken-hearted.

Because of that, we care more about the Kingdom of God than about Western Christianity. We care more about going on missions than getting a mortgage. And we care more about the future of our planet than whatever is good for the stock market.

Yes, there might be a measure of pride and assumptions in what I say. And I know these generalizations sound a bit unfair, they obviously don’t represent every spiritual parent everywhere, but please keep reading. Because we’re intentionally spending time with people from other cultures, religions and races, we’re intentional about standing with them too. The old systems that keep our friends in bondage are not cool with us anymore. So we march and protest and share #hashtags that might rub you the wrong way.

Unfortunately, in order to keep growing what you planted, we must try a different way of farming. To continue building what you started, we need to demolish an idol or two.

We’re aware that there are elements of pain and bitterness that drive this conversation, but we know that all things work together for good, so we’re trusting God that the pain from the past will become healing for the future (and awakening from the ungodly system that initiated that pain and bitterness).

And we really love the church, but we’re dreaming of the actual good old days. The days of Matthew and Mark and Luke and John… and the possibility of the books of Acts all over again.

The whole turn the other cheek and love your enemies bit has really captivated our hearts! And it’s properly affected how we look at war and Islam and North Korea.

In a way… we know that you’re the same.

It’s just that the out-working of it looks different.

Very different.

And that hurts sometimes, because there’s an obvious disconnect in social media and dinner tables between the generations.

So we’ll end with an honest request: Please don’t quit on us!

We need your mothering and fathering. We want your challenge and invitation. Because we know that your experiences are incredibly valid. Yes, we see things differently, but without your empowering we might end up repeating the same mistakes and patterns you want us to prevent.

Forgive us for our presumptions and misunderstanding. May the prayer of Jesus in John 17 guide us today.

I hope we can make it work.

Will we?

Peace.

“He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” – Malachi 4:6

Carlos is a pastor, communicator, provocative preacher and the author of Simply Sonship and Drop The Stones. Together with his wife Catherine, they have two gorgeous boys and are awaiting a baby girl through adoption. Oh yeah, he’s also Puerto Rican and can’t wait to tell you all about it.

Carlos, we are stronger together as Christians, period. Here is my response: The Great “I Am” Incarnate By Bill Foster Jesus was no politician. He refused to be defined by or confined to the arena of popular public opinion, or ballots cast in polling places. He wouldn’t allow labels like “liberal,” “moderate” or “conservative” to be applied to his life and ministry like some kind of bumper sticker proclamation or words on a sign carried at protest rallies. Instead, He was the great “I Am” incarnate. A mixture of pure holiness and human brokenness — Emmanuel … God with us in flesh and blood. He was and is the ultimate renaissance man from an earlier era. The renewal and revival Jesus brought and continues to bring was not one of art and literature, but instead was a lasting eternal awakening and transformation of mind and soul that spilled over into life itself and survives the ages. His message was and is the same for oppressed peasants in the fields as it was for the wealthy rulers in the palaces and the religious leaders in the temples of worship. It was the same message shouted out by the prophet John in the wilderness … “repent and believe.” When it comes to knowing and experiencing the lasting peace of healing, wholeness and emotional, mental, physical and spiritual restoration, Jesus was and is an “equal opportunity provider” who transcends the narrow confines of political allegiance and alliance. His message was the same for rich and poor, “liberal,” “moderate” or “conservative” … “independent,” “Democrat,” or “Republican.” Jesus wasn’t surrounded by a cabinet of advisors, political spin doctors, or fundraising experts. Instead He was the friend and mentor to those who responded to the reality ofhis lasting life-sustaining message. His “inner circle” of believers came from all walks of life … fishermen, tax collectors, shepherds and others. His “base” and audience was anyone who would hear and respond to His message. The fact that Jesus was not political and was the personification of a much more enduring and eternal truth, is what got him killed. His death is the tragic human side of the story mired in the politics of the day. Jesus irritated, annoyed, and angered both the political and the religious leaders to such an extent that they no longer could tolerate what he taught and lived, because it became a threat to their power and authority. However, Jesus didn’t remain dead, that is the joyous divine side of the plan and plot of the story. The reality of Jesus’ restorative and tranformative power survived the assaults upon it by the worldy power brokers of his day and we are still recipients of the truth of that power that continues to enter into the brokenness of our human story today. It’s a power that has the potential and promise to close the gaps of pain, suffering, hatred and division promoted within the realm of political brokenness and our religious brokenness. To follow Jesus now is the same as it has always been … to step into a old/new spiritual renaissance led by the “great I Am” the Master transformation agent Himself … Jesus the Christ.

I just turned 70. I have noticed a “trend” in your writings… a trend which I guess is based upon a dysfunctional childhood and/or Christian upbringing. Your “Letter” above makes many, in my opinion, unjustified judgments against us old Conservative parents. I have never been “afraid” of words likes socialism, homosexuality, Hollywood. I’m sorry that your parents (?) were afraid of those words. I’m sorry that your elders preached more anti-abortion than pro-adoption. My contemporaries preached (and practiced) both positions from a loving and caring heart. I’m sorry that, evidently, in your experience your elders missed the message of the cross and didn’t act like Jesus (or at least like the Jesus you conceive). But just as some old Conservative Christians may have projected a Jesus of harshness towards sin, your generation has projected a one-sided Jesus who does nothing but tolerate sin and gushes with love toward every evil of man. How about we meet in the middle somewhere? How about we love others enough to be concerned for the negative consequences produced by ungodly behaviors. How about we, like all good parents, warn of the dangers of placing your hand on a hot stove rather than just “loving” others and failing to offer loving advice to keep them from future harm. Just as (some of) the older generation of Christians may have been lopsided in their presentation and practice of showing forth God’s gospel…many in the younger generation are just as lopsided in swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction by presenting “good news” that anything and everything is “OK” with God because everything is about “love” and “tolerance.” What’s needed most by the older and younger generations of Christians is BALANCE.

Thank you for knowing who you are and putting a voice to the thoughts of many of my beloved kingdom sons and daughters. I do not have to agree or be the same or think the same as you but you articulating you makes me and invites me to be more fully me and that cannot help but display more of the fullness of the multifaceted wisdom God wishes to display through His body. Thank you for being a voice. I hear the Love and invitation to more as we feast together at the banquet table.

I’m with Bob above. I’m not quite 50 but am old enough to remember last century when socialism swept through the earth butchering multiplied millions with utter savagery – the Nazis were a response to the communists whose savagery was being unleashed to the east of Germany in Russia and Eastern Europe. Now that socialism is ‘cool’ and taking over in the US with the help of left wing media, the young are being taken in by its oh so plausible virtuous sounding ‘goodness’, yet its the most Godless system in history and is opening the door to that other savagery islam. I live in Europe, I know the history of this. The events of the past week in the US have made me hope and pray that the US isn’t about to repeat what Europe went through last century where brown shirted nazis fought black shirted marxists, both of them socialists dreaming of upending the system and bringing in utopia. Nazis are national socialists, communists are global socialists, they only differ in ambition. The Nazis killed 6 million jews and communists? Communists killed probably 100 million last century. As for islam… But it’s great that you’re ‘cool’ with all of that and think you know better than older generations and can judge yourselves better than them. The bible says honour your father and mother so that your lives may be long in the land the lord your god has given you, it’s the first commandment with promise. But hey, you know better than your elders, go for it. Every generation thinks that, it’s why history repeats itself. There’s nothing new under the sun.

I bind unto myself today The strong Name of the Trinity, By invocation of the same, The Three in One and One in Three. I bind this day to me for ever. By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation; His baptism in the Jordan river; His death on Cross for my salvation; His bursting from the spicèd tomb; His riding up the heavenly way; His coming at the day of doom;* I bind unto myself today. I bind unto myself the power Of the great love of the cherubim; The sweet ‘well done’ in judgment hour, The service of the seraphim, Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word, The Patriarchs’ prayers, the Prophets’ scrolls, All good deeds done unto the Lord, And purity of virgin souls. I bind unto myself today The virtues of the starlit heaven, The glorious sun’s life-giving ray, The whiteness of the moon at even, The flashing of the lightning free, The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks, The stable earth, the deep salt sea, Around the old eternal rocks. I bind unto myself today The power of God to hold and lead, His eye to watch, His might to stay, His ear to hearken to my need. The wisdom of my God to teach, His hand to guide, His shield to ward, The word of God to give me speech, His heavenly host to be my guard. Against the demon snares of sin, The vice that gives temptation force, The natural lusts that war within, The hostile men that mar my course; Or few or many, far or nigh, In every place and in all hours, Against their fierce hostility, I bind to me these holy powers. Against all Satan’s spells and wiles, Against false words of heresy, Against the knowledge that defiles, Against the heart’s idolatry, Against the wizard’s evil craft, Against the death wound and the burning, The choking wave and the poisoned shaft, Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning. Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me. Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger. I bind unto myself the Name, The strong Name of the Trinity; By invocation of the same. The Three in One, and One in Three, Of Whom all nature hath creation, Eternal Father, Spirit, Word: Praise to the Lord of my salvation, Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

You can never favorably compare yourself against others and come off well. My generation has had its problems but yours has yours as well. Maybe it’s better to point to what God is doing in his church today rather than trying to say one generation knows better than another. I see God doing wonderful things in the church today and believe that he is positioning us for a great harvest. All of us. Old and young.

If God were looking down and talking to Carlos it would be sort of like Sodom and Gomorrah. If you can find ten million people who believe and LIVE what you just wrote I will spare the nation. Carlos would say ten million is a lot, how abut a million. God would say OK a million. It was Gandhi who said he thought the Christian religious philosophy was the best ever written but he could never find anybody who lived it. The question then is, will Carlos be able to find those million people and save our nation?

Beautifully said. I saw myself in almost every sentence. Many in our parents’ generation confuse conservative politics and religion with what it means to be a Christian, and honestly it makes it harder for the next generations to see and hear God. I’ll ask those who are offended by this letter a question I had to ask myself and then my own parents: “What if this movement of believers isn’t the world infiltrating the church but God breaking through in a whole new way?” Come, Lord Jesus!

It seems every generation thinks they are the first to care about equality or justice. Half my generation was fighting and dying in rice fields in Viet Nam while others were marching in the streets protesting war, corruption in government and other injustices. Please don’t tell me how radical this generation is or how bad things are right now. The spirit of lawlessness (which masquerades as “righteous indignation” and claims to be fighting for justice) still has a long way to go to match what we experienced in the streets in the 60s.

Carlos, you say, “We care more about going on missions than getting a mortgage.” Unfortunately, the stats don’t bear that out. The number of missionaries being sent out from the US and Canada is dropping. There is a lot of interest in “talking” about missions or hunger or human trafficking or the latest trendy cause. And there are many who are willing to take a missions vacation – go for a week or 10 days. But there is little willingness to actually change your life to make a difference. You think there is a lot more caring because when we “talk” about it we “feel” like we’ve done something and we go home feeling all compassionate and missions-y. But talking about it and tossing a few bucks toward the problem does not equate to truly caring about it. Caring leads to action.

“And we care more about the future of our planet …” Hmm. So now recycling equates with spirituality? We are stewards of this planet but not Messiahs. The Book makes it clear it is not you or me that will save this planet.

Carlos, before you were born I was struggling with the issue of a Christian’s responsibility when it comes to social issues. Here’s the weird thing I noticed. Jesus didn’t seem to give a flip about social issues or politics. The evils of His day were mammoth compared to what we whine about today. Yet, he made no comments about the injustices of Rome’s rule. He didn’t call out their leaders – even when he was face to face with them and could have really let them have it. He didn’t comment on their barbaric treatment of people, their acceptance of homosexuality, abortion (yes, it was around way back then) or other social evils. He didn’t try to save the planet, free the slaves or fight other injustices. Maybe he was going to leave that to his disciples. No, they didn’t go there either. When Paul spoke to Roman leaders he only addressed their spiritual condition.

Perhaps we could learn something about not being distracted by the social evils in this world – which I agree are horrid – and focusing on the priorities of another kingdom – one not of this world.

LOL…hate to be a “mutual admiration society” but you made some excellent points. I think one big error people in general make is presenting “either/or” arguments…as if there are ONLY two choices…in other words, “MY way is the only right way and all other ways are wrong.” I’m sure that Carlos has a good heart…but I find it ironic in a book titled “Drop the Stones” (presumably with the sub message of “Stop Judging!”) he has no problem with picking up stones and throwing them at the previous generation of Christians. We all know the Church has been imperfect since the Day of Pentecost, and that will continue with each succeeding generation.

Every generation thinks they are showing forth “New Testament” Christianity and “conserving the words and style of Christ himself.” Whereas the last generation may have overemphasized Jesus’ “style” of overturning tables in the Temple and Christ’s call to “Repent” (ha! I bet you’ll seldom hear that coming from any younger person!), this current generation of Christians are just as picky in choosing which words and which style of Jesus they want to follow. As I said before…both generations need BALANCE in presenting the FULL message and style of Jesus…not just “love your enemies” and tolerance of sin and error…that’s just not a complete and honest presentation of Jesus in the New Testament. Yes, Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you.” BUT Jesus also said, “Go and sin no more.” Now there’s BALANCE!

To the Bobs and Ricks and other older voices on here: I get it. You think we younger folk are getting tricked by some left wing agenda, or idealism, or even just plain old fashioned pride. And, if you remember, at the beginning of the article, Carlos said we may be wrong. We might be. But at the end of the day, Carlos — and myself and tens of millions of other young Christians around the country and around the world — arrived at our conclusions because of Scripture, not in spite of it. To the person who said Jesus or the NT writers didn’t talk about politics or Rome — I guess you just ignored the passages that clearly did. For one of dozens of examples, Matthew 6:24 says “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Seems like a pretty political statement to make, given that it implicates economics, industry, and taxes. Or, again, maybe your pastors or youth leaders or whoever introduced those passages to you were doing their best and simply misinterpreted what those passages were about. After all, these are nuanced passages about complex topics. Or, as Carlos said, maybe we’re wrong. But to those of you coming here thinking you’re going to “correct” Carlos (or the Carlos in your life who is a young, opinionated Christian) as if he hasn’t read the right things — tell him what books to read, and then be ready for a discussion. We may be wrong. You may be too.

Hi Michael G. … speaking for myself, I don’t think I would characterize what has happened to the “younger generation” of Christians as being “tricked.” As I stated, just as some of the older generation may have been unbalanced in their living out the gospel, it looks to me that many in the younger generation of Christians are also lacking balance in living out their Christian faith. Promoting socialism is a dangerous idea…which has been proven wrong repeatedly in their miserable lives of those who are unfortunate enough to live in socialistic societies. Confusing “tolerance” with “love” toward those who ignore God’s best ideas for how His creation should live most certainly gives people a false hope in a false god. Anyway, I’m really not here to change anyone’s mind. Basically I was startled by a book that wants it’s readers to “Drop the Stones” of judgment…while harshly (in my opinion) judging others. Seemed a bit ironic.

You said you arrived at your conclusions because of Scripture…which everyone says while everyone has a different interpretation of the same Scriptures. All I’m asking is that in taking Scripture as your reasons for seeing things the way you do…don’t pick and choose the Scriptures you like while ignoring those that you don’t like. BALANCE is what both generations need. Like I said in my previous comment, “Neither do I condemn you” AND “Go and sin no more.” Both sides of the equation are necessary to accurately present the gospel of Jesus.