Men, can you have a casual/sex relationship for months with a woman you don't like at least a little bit?

This is an ongoing argument in my house right now. I feel that I would not be able to have sex with someone for that long at not have SOME kind of feelings for her while others here have no problem with that at all.

How do you feel about this?

I'm NOT talking about one night stands. I'm talking about calling/text this same girl 2-3 times a week, asking her how she's doing, her doing stuff for you, stuff like that.

Most Helpful Guy

yeah i wouldn't be able to put up with that shit. i mean i probably wouldn't be after a 1 night stand to begin with but once i realized that the sex was the good part and even that wasn't worth being friends with someone so obnoxious... well part of what makes the sex good is if you actually like the person so even thats gonna suck or at least be meh. i've been there, i think we've all been there, you're hitting on a girl cause you need a warm place to put your meat and then she opens her mouth and you remember how much you can't stand this girl and you're just like, i can't with you anymore. but of course you never say that to her face cause she'll throw a hissy fit so you just gradually drift apart and become the kind of weird sex aquaintences that you end up running into months down the line, and secretly kind of resent resent but are like, oh, hows the job, you got a new dog, oh thats nice. small talking her like you met her at work trying to pretend you didn't have your cock sandwiched between her at some point

What Girls Said 14

I'm not a guy, but c'mon... there's got to be some attraction to that girl before you have sex with her. I have a hard time imagining a guy having sex with a girl who is butt ugly and maybe looks gay herself or maybe don't even look like a girl (unless if that's your type). Attraction and love though, it's a different thing, but I believe there's got to be some attraction most of the time.

If there's no attraction, then it seems like a desperate act to lose your virginity. By the way, I am religious and am saving myself till marriage, so honestly, virginity is not a bad thing!

I feel like sometimes a girl will just give sex so willingly that a guy can call her whenever he's horny, but not respect her at all. If they never bother to try to get to know her, they might never develop feelings for her.

But from what I'm reading in the guy's section, I might be wrong, and I'm kind of happy to be wrong :)

You know, I hear guys talking about girls giving sex freely, but what about guys? Do they not realize they are usually much easier than we will ever be? Or that the girl might be thinking the same thing about the guy? "Ok, all I have to do is laugh a little and I'm getting some disk tonight!" I mean seriously? I know I'm a female and there are guys I had s fuck buddies that I never would be in a relationship with, and it wasn't that I was giving it up for his benefit, it was for my benefit just as much as his... actually more for mine since had a problem coming and I have no issue in that area.

Yes it's true that we really only talk about girls giving sex freely! But unfortunately it is widely believed (and with reason) that sex means more to women than it does to men. When a woman gives sex, she gives up more than the man does. This is not always true, but it is often the case. Women are more sentimental sometimes and they might need a greater attachment in order to have sex. :)

I think it also has to do with the fact that, in this society, we consider that women's greater asset is her sexuality, so people have a tendency to judge those who give it freely. It makes them feel like they're playing their best card because they don't have anything else to play.

But I'm impressed by your situation :) I really like it when women turn these clichés around. I never thought about it that way.

I wanted to say that I at least would have to like the guy or girl as a friend, even if there weren't a huge emotional attraction that I wanted to be in a relationship with them. I have had friends that I liked hanging around with who eventually became my fuck buddies... but if I couldn't stand their company, I don't think I would be sleeping with them, no.

A man or woman would have a hard time having a friends with benefits for several months and not at least like them. Esp if there is some form of communication several times a week, even if just a text.

Phew I had a friends with benefits for six months. By the end I did develop feelings for her even though she wasn't very attractive. I did try to move into a relationship with her. She agreed and then cheated 2 weeks later. At Least I know I am normal and not a psycho.

What Guys Said 43

It's physically possible, but asinine to pursue. It just gives her leverage to accuse you of stuff. If she doesn't love me, and I don't feel anything for her, I don't owe her jack. And I'm not giving her leverage she hasn't earned.

There are feelings, always. They're hard-coded in the brain that a man and woman bond after sex. To ignore or suppress romantic feelings, just to continue the delusion of no-strings-attached sex, is unnatural and wrong.

And trust is huge. If I don't trust a gal completely, I wouldn't even want her taking her shirt and bra off in front of me, even though I enjoy breasts. If there's nothing true between her and me, then I simply cannot justify it. At that point, sex is completely out of the question.

I have never had or seen friends with benefits work practically. Usually at least one of the partners gets emotionally attached. And often this leads to hidden feelings which builds resentment and puts a sudden end to things on a hair trigger.

Perhaps there are some people out there who can do this with no issues. But I have yet to meet them. To give you frame of reference for where I am coming on it. I have had 3 friends with benefits partners and 7 friends who have had at least 1. I feel like out of 10 instances, with all of them ending abruptly and usually on bad terms. And, none of them developing into something more real. I am not far fetched in my assertions about it.

Maybe there are certain types of people who can keep this up and make it work. But, I tend to think both would be narcissistic, almost completely emotionally shut down or sociopaths of some variety.

I won't even engage in long conversations with girls I'm not attracted to. That sounds wrong, let me rephrase that.

I won't have in-depth conversations with women that I'm not attracted to. I won't ignore them but I won't really try to learn about them much.

I can have non-sexual relations with girls regardless of my affection for them though. If I like them, I'll definitely hit them up as much as possible (albeit not in a stalkerish way) but I can also go in-depth with close girl friends.

nah bro, i wouldn't be able to make love with a woman on several occasions and not feel attached or have no attraction towards them thats just me, i have never had a one nightstand, and i dont think i ever will, i also dont like the idea of casual sex, its a very emotional experience its not supposed to be casual...

In a casual relationship, no I'd have to feel some sort of way for her. I could though (and many other guys fall in the same boat) use a girl just for sex and sleep with her for months without any feelings. But that's slightly different and not something id ever do.

Would i? Nah I can't lie to myself like that just to gain sex really, pretty much if I did not like that person it is genreally for some valid reason of why I would not enjoy their company let alone think of having sex with them.

When I was younger, I think I would have said that I could have sex without increasing my level of attachment, because sex is just a biological function that is not love. It feels good, so what? Yet, I generally am not attracted to people who I do not admire, and I certainly could not endure sex with someone who I disliked.

These days, I feel like I can not separate sex from emotions, and would get attached. I am not certain why this change has occurred.

It would be hard for me to honestly, I don't surround myself with people who have a negative effect on me. But if she was hot, then yes I'd put up for it with a little bit, but once she or I cut it off, It would sting only a little bit cause I'd miss the physical comfort, nothing more.

ya man i had something like this where we would have sex a couple times a week.. i made the mistake of saying i love u during sex and she started to say it to.. we eventually got into a relationship... sex was amazing