A conversation with a colleague about Carl Sagan’s production of Cosmos took a curious turn. The show made pop science mainstream as a turtleneck and tweed jacket clad scientist with a resonant voice, a pension for dramatic speaking, the use of catch phrases such as “Billions and billions of…” and “… made of star stuff,” and heavy uses of animations set to memorable music, entertained us! It was only when we began the serious study of science that the shallowness of his content was actually understood. It was suggest that Sagan could make the smelling of dog poop awe inspiring. I took up the challenge with this micro-parody in my best Sagan-esque prose…

COSMOS SCATALOGICAL

Everything is made of STAR-stuff... Even dog spoor!
(cue music, wait until music starts, begin each line on the start of each musical arch, and image Sagan dramatic voice... and of course the animation)

As the light gut derived bacterial aromatics lift from its shiny surface to waft on the breeze towards your nose.

Like keys in locks they marry perfectly with the evolved receptors causing the sensory neuron to depolarize, cascade down a neuronal chain, and disperse into a highly attuned neural-network of the amygdala in a symphony of memories and emotions.

Almost 300 milliseconds later (nearly an eternity in this molecular dance) consciousness becomes aware of the miracle that has just happened...

Another 500 milliseconds later the face is shaped into one of the five universal masks that humans all share to signal our internal emotions to our fellow travelers of this miraculous COSMOS!