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Jean, Psychotherapist

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 433

Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.

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Jean, you are not going to believe this. What he said today

Customer Question

Jean, you are not going to believe this. What he said today topped what said the other day about knowing what stage of grief I was in through my e-mails. When my husband left I had a few bucks saved, but 6 months ago I spent it all and I loaned him some money. I know. Dumb. But, he was being good about taking care of things outside the house and would watch the house when I left that I didn't mind doing it. I'm also still involved in his business. He lets me take money out when I need it so I thought it would be OK to lend it him.

However, he said he can't pay me back the money right now and he knew I wanted to pay someone to spring clean my house(Ok Fall now, haha) so he had the nerve to ask if he could be the person to deep clean my house so he could work off some of the debt. LOL! Are you laughing right now? What the hell is he doing? How is she going to feel when he tells her that he owes me money, but he wants to work off the debt by cleaning my house? Or maybe he will not tell her, but I don't see how he will be able to keep his mouth shut about it to her. I wonder if she is mad because he owes me money or something. But,I would think she would be more angry if he was over here cleaning while I was at work. I can't even stop laughing write now while I type this to you.

I know right? I am laughing my butt off about it. He said that to me this morning. For some reason he came over and wanted to feed the chickens we have some watermelon. hahaha

Customer:

I think he may have lost his mind.

Jean :

Good to hear you are laughing/smiling!! How did you hold it together when he said this to you?

Customer:

I had a weird look on my face like what the hell?

Customer:

But, I did say ye.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

But, then I started thinking what if he is looking for a place to put a camera. haha

Customer:

Should I say yeah sure, but only if you will wear a french maid uniform?

Jean :

cook coo- or cluck cluck:) I'm sure you were shocked- deer in the head lights. He's going to deep clean your house- right so he can plant some "bugs". Yes, my thoughts exactly- you pick what he wears.

Customer:

I don't know what to make of it. I wasn't even worried about when he was going to pay me. I never asked him for it back.

Customer:

The funny thing is we own a computer business and he installs cameras too. haha

Jean :

Your face must hurt from laughing- this is a GOOD one! He's sounding a bit desperate in getting back into the house- maybe it gives him some warm and fuzzy feelings. The guilt may be really settling in- hurts him that he has hurt you maybe??

Customer:

I don't know, but since he left my house looks like crap. Is this normal? I used to be a good house cleaner, but depression makes me not care.

Jean :

You do wonder what "she" knows about- the contact he continues to have with you- that's hard to work both sides- and keep stories straight- I would think. Of course it's normal- grief does that to a person- somethings gotta give- why not the housework?

Customer:

How involved can he be with this woman if he is talking crap like that, cleaning my house. Weird.

Jean :

It is extremely weird- you've known this man forever- what do you make of it?

Customer:

Yeah, he probably lies to her. He is liar

Customer:

I don't know what to make of it. When he was in the kitchen talking to me he kept looking me up and down like he was checking me out. Maybe he thinks I got fat. lol

Jean :

"bye honey I'm going to go deep clean Marie's house now- see you in a bit" wow-this must really throw you off.

Customer:

LOL! You are so funny!

Jean :

It's comical for sure

Customer:

I don't know how I kept myself my laughing in front of him.

Customer:

It's sounds so silly.

Customer:

I forgot to tell you...When we met with the Lawyer last Thursday, he was dressed in colors that made him look like a friggin clown

Customer:

I have never seen him wear colors like that. Loud bright colors. That's what teenagers are wearing these days.

Jean :

Right- I suppose you were so shocked it took some time to register. It's silly, and funny, maybe ridiculous is the word? Now you have me laughing- this gets even better. Maids, clowns...

Customer:

LOL!!!

Customer:

I can't wait to see what happens next. When he said this to me this morning, my first thought was....I can't wait to tell Jean about this.

Jean :

This sorta sounds like a "dream", something you can not make up. Can you see this on Seinfeld?

Customer:

You are my therapist now.

Customer:

I don't talk to anyone else even when there are gaps when I contact you.

Jean :

I'm glad you shared with me- it's been an unfolding story, albeit painful- this lightens things up a bit for you. I'm glad to help!

Customer:

Yes,I love Seinfeld. That is my favorite sitcom. I know all of them by heart.

Customer:

Thank you Jean. You are life saver. I'm glad we got to laugh together for a change instead being so serious like I'm lying on the couch in your office or something.haha

Customer:

You crack me up!

Jean :

You go right ahead and write a pilot on this one!! Maybe they could bring Seinfeld back for this one!! It's great to "hear" you laugh- thanks for sharing.

I need maid service and need you to come clean my house, but first make sure you are dressed in your clown custume before arriving. Bahahahahahaha

Just checking in to tease you. I hope you have a nice day tomorrow. I will let you know as soon as anything nutty happens again in my husband's bizzaro world. Remember that on Seinfeld? I remember you comparing how my husband was acting to something like a Seinfeld episode. hahaha

Thanks for the cute message- yes it put a smile on my face and gave me a good laugh. Yes, I will be looking for a new sitcom, not something you can make up- life is better than made up!! You have yourself a great day too-

Well Jean, he brought up cleaning my house again late last week. After he brought it up again, I started really thinking about it, and it was like a light bulb went off.

He either has something of his hidden in my house or he has electronic bugs and is listening to me. I think that's why he doesn't want anyone else to be in here. If he has something hidden, or has bugs in the house he might be worried they will find it. So the real reason for the clown to want to come in the house to clean is to keep the maid service out because they may find something. That's just my gut, but I could be wrong.

Think about this...I have been having problems with my phone. When someone calls in, it rings once, then there is static and the call drops. Anyway, once it dawned on me about his reason, I started researching it on the web. It's easy for someone to plant bugs in the house, but an amateur usually leaves clues. Concerning wire tapping...I read that one of the clues of faulty wire tapping is that the phone will ring once and then it hangs up. Of course I flipped out when I read this and became even more paranoid. LOL! I kept reading. I haven't looked at the junction box outside yet. I'm talking to a technician on justanswer and he is going to help me troubleshoot. Is this interesting or what? LOL

Wow, it's for sure that INTERESTING!! It does make you think huh? It's probably a good idea to be cautious- consider the various intentions here. What would he be looking for do you think? Your gut tells you something is up- what that is- is to be determined, in the next episode right! Have you come out and asked him why on earth he would want to be your maid? He's just "clowning around", that man!

You are too funny. I did come out and I asked him again and he said because he wants to pay me back some of the money he owes me. I told him that I wasn't in a hurry for him to pay me back and that I have never pressured him to pay me so I didn't understand what the big deal is. He just played it up by saying he didn't want to owe me money. Maybe he thinks I'm living like a pig. haha My house is not perfect, but I do keep it up.

Anyway, he came over this past Sunday to bring dogfood and to mow the yard. He sent me a text before stopping by. I told him I was already out in the yard cleaning and that was fine to stop by. Well, everything seemed to be going OK, until near the end before he left.

There as a bush that needed to be cut down in front of the house. It is a small one. Anyway, he said it needed to be cut down so I asked him if he would do it. He says....It's your yard, but I will show you what tool you need to use. He kept repeating that it was my yard. This was so hurtful to me because he is the one who left me. It's not like I kicked him out of the house and then asked him to come over and do yard work. That's kind of how he was sounding by saying...It's your yard. It also hurts because it's like he is reminding me about how eventually he will not be taking care of it so maybe he wants me to get used to the idea of it being my yard. It's so hurtful and confusing. I was angry when he left and I still am. What do you make of this freak acting like this? Ugh.

Thank you Jean. Yes, a part of me thought of him trying to convince himself that he can't be with both of us. However, I also couldn't help think that the reason he was telling me "it's my yard" was because he didn't want me to get my hopes up about he and I just because he was over at the house that day. If he was saying it for that reason I want to tell him to please get over himself and stop assuming I want you back. That would be kind of nervy if he was thinking like that, but it is possible.

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Kate McCoy

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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.

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