When you give Perma.cc a link to a page on the Web, it comes back with a link to a page on the Perma.cc site. That page has an archive copy of the original page exactly as it was when you supplied the link. It also makes a screen capture of that original page. And of course it includes a link to the original. It also promises to maintain the Perma.cc copy and screen capture in perpetuity — a promise backed by the Harvard Law Library and dozens of other libraries. So, when you give a reader a Perma link, they are taken to the Perma.cc page where they’ll always find the archived copy and the screen capture, no matter what happens to the original site. Also, the service is free for everyone, for real. Plus, the site doesn’t require users to supply any information about themselves. Also, there are no ads.

So that’s why my book’s references are to Perma.cc.

But, over the course of the six years I spent writing this book, my references suffered some link rot on my side. Before I got around to creating the Perma links, I managed to make all the obvious errors and some not so obvious. As a result, now that I’m at the copyediting stage, I wanted to check all the Perma links.

I had already compiled a bibliography as a spreadsheet. (The book will point to the Perma.cc page for that spreadsheet.) So, I selected the Title and Perma Link columns, copied the content, and stuck it into a text document. Each line contains the page’s headline and then the Perma link.

Perma.cc has an API that made it simple to write a script that looks up each Perma link and prints out the title it’s recorded next to the title of the page that I intend to be linked. If there’s a problem with Perma link, such as a double “https://https://” (a mistake I managed to introduce about a dozen times), or if the Perma link is private and not accessible to the public, it notes the problem. The human brain is good at scanning this sort of info, looking for inconsistencies.

Here’s the script. I used PHP because I happen to know it better than a less embarrassing choice such as Python and because I have no shame.

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<?php

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// This is a basic program for checking a list of page titles and perma.cc links

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// It’s done badly because I am a terrible hobbyist programmer.

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// I offer it under whatever open source license is most permissive. I’m really not

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// going to care about anything you do with it. Except please note I’m a

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// terrible hobbyist programmer who makes no claims about how well this works.

An earlier draft of Descartes’ Meditations has been discovered, which will inevitably lead to a new round of unfunny jokes under the rubric of “Descartes’ First Draft.” I can’t wait :(

The draft is a big discovery. Camilla Shumaker at Research Frontiers reports that Jeremy Hyman, a philosophy instructor at the University of Arkansas, came across a reference to the manuscript and hied off to a municipal library in Toulouse … a gamble, but he apparently felt he had nothing left Toulouse.

I fed a list of cocktail names in as data to an unaltered copy of karpathy’s code. After several hundred thousand iterations, here’s a highly curated list of results:

French Connerini Mot

Freside

Rumibiipl

Freacher

Agtaitane

Black Silraian

Brack Rickwitr

Hang

boonihat

Tuxon

Bachutta B

My Faira

Blamaker

Salila and Tonic

Tequila Sou

Iriblon

Saradise

Ponch

Deiver

Plaltsica

Bounchat

Loner

Hullow

Keviy Corpse der

KreckFlirch 75

Favoyaloo

Black Ruskey

Avigorrer

Anian

Par’sHance

Salise

Tequila slondy

Corpee Appant

Coo Bogonhee

Coakey Cacarvib

Srizzd

Black Rosih

Cacalirr

Falay Mund

Frize

Rabgel

FomnFee After

Pegur

Missoadi Mangoy Rpey Cockty e

Banilatco

Zortenkare

Riscaporoc

Gin Choler Lady or Delilah

Bobbianch 75

Kir Roy Marnin Puter

Freake

Biaktee

Coske Slommer Roy Dog

Mo Kockey

Sane

Briney

Bubpeinker

Rustin Fington Lang T

Kiand Tea

Malmooo

Batidmi m

Pint Julep

Funktterchem

Gindy

Mod Brandy

Kkertina Blundy Coler Lady

Blue Lago’sil

Mnakesono Make

gizzle

Whimleez

Brand Corp Mook

Nixonkey

Plirrini

Oo Cog

Bloee Pluse

Kremlin Colone Pank

Slirroyane Hook

Lime Rim Swizzle

Ropsinianere

Blandy

Flinge

Daago

Tuefdequila Slandy

Stindy

Fizzy Mpllveloos

Bangelle Conkerish

Bnoo Bule Carge Rockai Ma

Biange Tupilang Volcano

Fluffy Crica

Frorc

Orandy Sour

The candy Dargr

SrackCande

The Kake

Brandy Monkliver

Jack Russian

Prince of Walo Moskeras

El Toro Loco Patyhoon

Rob Womb

Tom and Jurr Bumb

She Whescakawmbo Woake

Gidcapore Sling

Mys-Tal Conkey

Bocooman Irion anlis

Ange Cocktaipopa

Sex Roy

Ruby Dunch

Tergea Cacarino burp Komb

Ringadot

Manhatter

Bloo Wommer

Kremlin Lani Lady

Negronee Lince

Peady-Panky on the Beach

Then I added to the original list of cocktails a list of Western philosophers. After about 1.4 million iterations, here’s a curated list:

Wotticolus

Lobquidibet

Mores of Cunge

Ruck Velvet

Moscow Muáred

Elngexetas of Nissone

Johkey Bull

Zoo Haul

Paredo-fleKrpol

Whithetery Bacady Mallan

Greekeizer

Frellinki

Made orass

Wellis Cocota

Giued Cackey-Glaxion

Mary Slire

Robon Moot

Cock Vullon Dases

Loscorins of Velayzer

Adg Cock Volly

Flamanglavere Manettani

J.N. tust

Groscho Rob

Killiam of Orin

Fenck Viele Jeapl

Gin and Shittenteisg Bura

buzdinkor de Mar

J. Apinemberidera

Nickey Bull

Fishomiunr Slmester

Chimio de Cuckble Golley

Zoo b Revey Wiickes

P.O. Hewllan o

Hlack Rossey

Coolle Wilerbus

Paipirista Vico

Sadebuss of Nissone

Sexoo

Parodabo Blazmeg

Framidozshat

Almiud Iquineme

P.D. Sullarmus

Baamble Nogrsan

G.W.J. . Malley

Aphith Cart

C.G. Oudy Martine ram

Flickani

Postine Bland

Purch

Caul Potkey

J.O. de la Matha

Porel

Flickhaitey Colle

Bumbat

Mimonxo

Zozky Old the Sevila

Marenide Momben Coust Bomb

Barask’s Spacos Sasttin

Th mlug

Bloolllamand Royes

Hackey Sair

Nick Russonack

Fipple buck

G.W.F. Heer Lach Kemlse Male

Yes, we need not worry about human bartenders, cocktail designers, or philosophers being replaced by this particular algorithm. On the other hand, this is algorithm consists of a handful of lines of code and was applied blindly by a person dumber than it. Presumably SkyNet — or the next version of Microsoft Clippy — will be significantly more sophisticated than that.

A powerful global reaccommodation has begun. Corporations are rediscovering themselves in their muscular masculinity. For we are the makers, the takers, and above all else, we are the winners. Customers, employees, the needy, the vulnerable are, by definition, the losers. Each one of them would gladly trade their seat for one of the tufted leather chairs in our CEO’s office. Instead, make sure your pathetic seatbacks are returned to their upright position, your trays are stowed, and you’re buckled in. For this is your pilot speaking, and we’re ready to fly the friendly skies of “PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM, MOTHERFUCKER!”

Markets are reaccommodations.

There’s the crew and there’s the screwed. Deal with it.

When jack-booted thugs rough up paying passengers and drag them from your plane, it’s time for the CEO to step up and declare that there’s two sides to every story.

There’s no customer need that cannot be met by a bag of off-brand peanuts.

Customers of course have rights. But only once they have lawyers.

Think of it like this: Boarding a airplane is like opening a shrink-wrapped product, an act that involuntarily voids all your rights. Except boarding a plane means also giving up the shreds of human dignity we didn’t already strip from you during the nudie scan, the TSA ritual ball or tit squeeze, the routine totally un-profiled examination of the darker-hued among us, the lack of sufficient seats in the boarding area, the unexplained delays, and the segregation into social strata announced over the PA. Also, I think we may have missed a spot in your rectum.

Costs have gone up while fuel prices and basic services have gone down, yet more and more people are flying. Therefore, passengers must love us more than ever. You can’t argue with math!

Virtually no other industry uses overbooking as a routine best practice because they don’t love their customers are much as we do.

“First they came for my free crappy meal, and I said nothing. Then they came for my carry-ons, and I said nothing. Then they just said ‘Fuck it’ and came for the guy sitting next to me and dragged him off the plane by the ankles. And I said something, and I video-ed it and I posted it.” Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I’ve got a corporate reputation to maintain.

Every act of corporate brutality can be fixed by combining the power of euphemism with the audacity of neologism, catalyzed by a really expensive blue suit.

It’s great to know that we’re making our employees so proud! Right, gang? Gang?

My conspiracy theory: The purported dossier on Trump says the Russians have been cultivating him for five years. Suppose they were pressuring him to run. As a true patriot, Trump knew how disastrous it would be to have a Russian puppet as President. So, Trump did everything he could as a candidate to make himself unelectable: in his announcement speech he called Mexicans rapists, he made fun of the disabled, he called McCain a loser for being captured. He just kept upping the ante. And then we elected him.