Duh

I have grown to hate this word, and its prevalence in our cyberdiscourse and real discourse. It reminds me of Stephanie H. from my fourth-grade class (not to be confused with Stephanie R., demure, Swiss, lady-like even in her young years. I remember one day in second grade, a few days after Stephie had invited me to be among a group outing to the Hayden Planetarium; Tomás heard about it, and became very jealous - when we met on the playground that day, the first school day after the aforementioned outing, his anger showed, and he even had a sharp object in his hand, perhaps ready to use it. I thought it odd, the threat of violence, since this was a fairly liberal, pacifist school. Tomás would - in some brief epiphany of horse sense - think better of cutting me up; peace was restored, and I was grateful. Though I was bigger and ornerier than he, surely he had the strength of 10,000 men in his angered state. He came to his senses, perhaps realizing that I had no untoward intentions vis-à-vis his beloved Stephie - though I was, on occasion, tickled by her mother's accent. Tomás - and his sister Katy, who was in my class - was otherwise quite cool. But I'm digressing like a motherfucker here, aren't I?Cap'n! I don't think these parentheses can hold much longer!

OK, Scottie. Stay calm. Let's see if we can blast our way out of here)

OK. The "duh" thing. Stephanie H., an otherwise lovely, full-of-life gal, had this penchant for using "duh" and, in other contexts, "well, whoopie tuh!" It was quite annoying, and I'm sure she grew out of it. I imagine her a Fanny Brice figure somewhere.

Most of us are grown human beings; I don't understand the regression-into-obnoxious-childhood implied by the use of the word "duh" in our discourse. If you do nothing else for me in this lifetime, please stop using the word "duh" if you are more than nine years old.