Fat Admirers do exist, and you may have even actually heard of us. Or elected one of us?

Pierce Brosnan

James Bond himself remains happily married to television personality Keely Shaye Smith, who these days sports more than your average Hollywood belly. Sure, maybe he’s just a swell guy who loves his wife of 10 years. But something at home‘s inspiring her to keep wearing all those bikinis on the beach.

Jamie Foxx

Lots of celebrities make stray more-cushion-for-the-pushin’ remarks that probably don’t betray a major sexual proclivity in the long run—John Cena once bragged about his tryst with a 280-pound woman on Howard Stern. But Foxx has something of a record, first talking about how he and one chubby ex “looked like the number 10” together, and later making a special call to Oprah Winfrey just to tell manic yo-yo-diet guest Kirstie Alley she’s beautiful at any size. Winkface?

30 Rock‘s Tracy Jordan

In the very first episode 30 Rock, breakout nutso tells Liz Lemon, “I hate skinny women.” It wasn’t one of his typical nonsequiturs. The diva-sized Sherri Shepherd (The View) and briefly, the unskinny Sharon Wilkins (Bad Boys II, Maid in Manhattan) have filled his wife Angie’s shoes ever since. In general, 30 Rock is surprisingly generous with fat partners, with randy SNL writer Paula Pell playing Pete Hornberger’s wife. (“What did you do with the Pop Tart?”)

Glee‘s Noah “Puck” Puckerman

Word to the unwise: serenading the fat girl with Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” is a terrible plan. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen. Bonus points for attempting to produce a sex tape with her though.

Vinnie Jr. in City Island

In a more voluptuous twist on the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold schema from Milk Money (remember that movie?), Ezra Miller’s fatty-loving smartass teen enlists the help of the supersized food-porn star next door (Carrie Baker Reynolds) to win over a chubby classmate.

Eek! The Cat

Very ’90s, this show. Like a more dada Courage, the Cowardly Dog. A scaredy-cat constantly on the run from a half-shark half-dog amalgam is unwaveringly in love with his globular damsel-in-distress Annabelle, even though whenever her weight is referenced, he expresses matter-of-fact surprise: “Really?” But his appreciation does slip out, like when he admits, “The more of you there is, the more there is to love.”

Summer Catch‘s Miles Dalrymple

No one remembers this 2001 Freddie Prinze Jr./Jessica Biel summer-love piece of shit except for Fat Admirers who pricked up at actor Marc Blucas’s coming-out-speech finale. “I need it to be known that I like a big girl,” the announced to a barful of baseball douchebags. “In fact, a large, zaftig, voluptuous, full-figured, big-boned, massive-assive honey, that is what gets me going. I like fat women and they like me. Anybody got a problem with that? Big girls need love too, baby.” Asking them out works too! It’s really not a massive-assive deal!

Johnny Sack on The Sopranos

One of only two Tony Soprano’s goons to stay faithful to his oft-mocked, rotund wife, Ginny (Denise Borino, who sadly died of cancer last October), Sack refers to her as “Rubenesque” at one point, insists she doesn’t have to hide her secret candy-snacking from him, and even offers to kill Ralphie (who wouldn’t?) once over insulting her weight. Aww.

Jack Sprat

The English proverb protagonist dates back to 1639, making him one of popular culture’s earliest Fat Admirer depictions. “Jack Sprat could eat no fat/His wife could eat no lean,” but the platter definitely wasn’t the only thing the quintessential opposites-attract couple licked clean.

Bill Clinton

The king, the pimp. Also the archetypal “closet” Fat Admirer: Slick player in a high-profile power position with an equally powerful, and lithe wife for a beard; bangs his orally-animated chubby secretary on the downlow.