Liberals come in 6 basic types

Growing up in a proud liberal family, I have had a front-row seat to the progressive side of the political aisle for many years. I've concluded that there are basically six prominent “types” of liberals.

By Laura Brindley

This list is not complete, nor will it ever be, and few if any people fall entirely into any one category. Moreover, many of these descriptions are meant to be satirically evocative—if not downright provocative. If you have any additional types of liberals, please add the type and description in the comment section. Enjoy!

THE BILL MAHERS

These liberals are less politically correct (PC) than their counterparts, but they will support the Democratic position on almost any issue. They are often quite blunt and not afraid to offend someone in order to get their points across. Though loyal to liberal causes, they do not identify with every social movement, or even the various elements of those in which they do agree. For example, they may see student protests against Ann Coulter and Milo Yiannopoulos as detrimental to the progressive movement. Additionally, they believe in free speech and are the least likely to be seen as “snowflakes” by conservative adversaries. Some causes they are especially passionate about in general are the environment, animal rights, separation of church and state, reproductive rights and ensuring certain members of the Trump Administration end up in prison. Some notable “Bill Mahers” are the eponymous comedian himself (duh…), Chris Rock, Sarah Silverman, Dan Savage and Michael Moore.

SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS

These liberals put their hearts and souls into causes revolving around equality for all (i.e. “social justice”). They will be at almost every Black Lives Matter (BLM) rally, Women’s March, or any other protests they believe promotes causes they believe in. Prolific social media users, they are easy to find on the Internet, as they frequently post about current events and issues in these channels. Even though their hearts are in the right place, they can seem intimidating to anyone who does not side with them 100% of the time. Social Justice Warriors are often thought of as being young and educated, and are regularly derided as “snowflakes” by members of the alt-right. Famous Social Justice Warriors include Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi (creators of BLM), Bob Ferguson and Shaun King.

TAKE-DOWN-THE-PATRIARCHY

Often seen as “hyper-feminists” by folks on the right and left alike, these liberals are passionate about changing the social structure to end all perceived social advantages of white males. Additionally, Take-Down-The-Patriarchy (TDTP) types tend to be especially sensitive and insistent on everyone adhering to each individual’s preferred pronoun. To TDTPs, gender is a social construct and furthermore, white, straight, cisgender males are at the heart of most problems in society. Though most of them were adamant Hillary Clinton supporters, several felt that she was not “inclusive” or “intersectional” enough, as she is a privileged, white cisgender female. You will often see the TDTPs on social media, especially on Tumblr or Twitter, making sure their opinions and voices are heard. They are rarely shy and will usually engage in a spirited debate with anyone who disagrees or only agrees with them 90% of the time. Some well known TDTP liberals are Kshama Sawant and Lena Dunham.

OLD-MONEY DEMOCRATS

This group of liberals usually comes from prominent, well-educated families. They have supported the Democratic Party and left-of-center causes for decades. Though usually coming from privileged upbringings and elite educations, these liberals use their knowledge and influence to run for political office or donate large sums to progressive causes. Though often associated with the “liberal elite” stereotype, they tend to be open-minded and pleasant to talk to, without a hard bend to their ideology. Some famous Old Money Democrats include anyone from the Kennedy family. Closer to home, former U.S. House Speaker Tom Foley, of Spokane, was an example. While not of old money, he hailed from a very prominent, well-educated family and viewed public service as the highest of honors.

PC EXTRAORDINAIRES

These liberals are the stereotypical “overly politically correct” college students. They do not tolerate hate speech of any kind, and they refuse to be associated with anything potentially homophobic, misogynistic, or racist. They are usually the types that you will see at protests of any kind, as long as that protest is associated with ridding American society of hurtful, counterproductive hate speech, or ideas that put down one or more oppressed groups such as minorities, women, immigrants, non-binary and LGBTQI* folks, etc. They will be the first ones to call somebody out for saying a politically incorrect word or phrase, and this often stigmatizes young liberals as “snowflakes.” Even though they are on the same side of the aisle and usually the same side as Bill Mahers, the two are known to argue and persuade the other that their outlooks are better. Some famous PC Extraordinaires include student activists who gain national attention for a brief moment to call their schools out for “politically incorrect” actions and many contributors to “The Stranger.”

EX- (OR CURRENT) HIPPIES

This group of liberals can identify with pretty much every other group listed, as they were (or still are) the first to set up protests against a law they see as oppressive, an unjust war, or simply carbon emissions or pollution. They usually live by the “golden rule” or “peace and love.” Hippies will generally be anti-institution, pro-gun control, anti-war, pro-marijuana legalization, pro-alternative energy, and extremely anti-Trump. Hippies gained recognition in the 1960s during the “Free Love” movement and actively protested the Vietnam War. The modern equivalent of the original hippies are usually Prius drivers who eat exclusively organic food, as they hope to make the smallest carbon footprint possible. Some famous hippies include Gloria Steinem, Joan Baez, Macklemore and John Lennon.

No matter the type of liberal, they all agree the Trump Administration must be stopped. Liberals have been the voices for much positive change throughout history, and they must continue to vote, protest, and should do everything in their power to ensure America moves in the right direction. As a proud Bill Maher, I can say I will gladly work with anyone to make sure that dignity and progress remain hallmarks of American politics, and that corruption and regressive policies are stopped in their tracks.

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Comments (3)

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SwanCoug

Jun 19, 2018

Yeah - six kinds of dumb.

soxfan2017

Dec 6, 2017

I second the notion that "Bernie bros" should be added. Funnily enough, by today's standards, the Kennedy's would not necessarily be considered "liberals."

vegforlife

Nov 29, 2017

This is hilarious... I was sad to see that "Bernie Bros" were not a type, however. They're everywhere.