Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Saturday, March 26, 2016

And The Pagans Rejoiced

So, this was going to be Scorched Haven, but I'll try to give you that tomorrow. It seems I'll be filling plastic eggs with chocolate tonight and hiding them for the kids...

Speaking of, I have a little story I'd like to share.

So, Big T is going to be 24 in December, which means that, for the last 24 years, we've been collecting kid shit for Easter. Everything from plastic eggs to table centerpieces have been accrued in a giant Lexan that we keep out in the garage.

An old Lexan.

A missing Lexan.

Only, we didn't know it was missing. We spent much of our day at a community egg hunt passing out soccer fliers to potential club members, so the day was pretty busy. No time to send Mate to look for it until late afternoon.

So, right about the time dinner was almost ready, I texted Mate (since kids were in the room) Are you going to get the Easter stuff? T can't find it.
Mate texted back, I'll get it.
Then he came back in and texted, Not there!
And it wasn't. Whether it sustained water damage (because it could have been cracked) and T threw it away without telling us, or it's buried in a different pile of boxes, one that we can't find, the Lexan was gone.

Now, we have Easter. We have chocolate eggs and new suits of clothes and chocolate bunnies and jelly beans and a toy a kid (and yes, St. Patrick's Day followed by Easter followed by Squish's birthday has been driving us into credit debt for 10 years, why do you ask?) already bought. Hell, I sent Chicken's stuff to her on Thursday--it arrived today.

But for things like baskets and decorations and plastic eggs, we depended on that Lexan!

Do you want me to go buy some eggs and baskets? Great! Another $100 on plastic eggs. Fucking wonderful.

Well, he does have a point. We're sort of getting near the finish line here, folks. Squish is turning 10. I give it maybe two years before we don't need to hide plastic eggs and just the Easter basket and a gift certificate to Target will do us. (Mate is looking forward to these days with all his heart. He loves kids, loves playing with them, but these yearly sacrifices of cash for ritual obesity have him baffled. I gotta admit, I was eyeing the bedroom sets at Target with a wistful eye, given that Geoffie tends to chew on the blankets when she's bored.)

Anyway--I sent back, I can do it for under $50.
Then I took dinner off the stove, mixed it one last time and took off.

I saved that Easter in $18.96.

I got home and Squish asked me where I'd gone (I left the bags in the car, natch.) Anyway, I replied, "I went out for mushroom soup and real butter to rescue dinner," which is what I should have gotten because dinner sucked.

About Me

I am creative, distracted, and terribly weird. I love my children to distraction, and I love my hobbies even when they piss me off. I come from a double line of extremely creative, intelligent people who hated authority so much they dodged higher education, and I married a wonderful man who is quiet, conservative, devestatingly funny, and perfect. Our children are constant reminders that God and Goddess have a profound sense of humor, and that all of the things you dislike most about yourself but pretend don't exist really do come back on the karmic wheel to kick your ass when you least expect it. My family keeps me young and humble and I try every day to make them proud. I've written a LOT of books--I can't even count anymore, most of them for Dreamspinner Press and Riptide Press, but some of them published on my own. I write to placate the voices in my head, profanity is the element I swim in, and knitting socks at stoplights has become my twitch.

Quickening

The Fifth Book of the Little Goddess series will be out in two parts, May 2nd and June 16th.

*Kermit Flail*

If you would like to submit a new release for *Kermit Flail* Monday, simply e-mail me at amylane@greenshill.com with your title, .jpg cover attachment, blurb, and buy link. It helps if I know you-- I'll say sweet things about you-- but even if I don't, I'm happy to put you up on the *Flail*.