Ah, the excitement! The drama! The... er... two small, furry creatures butting in front of the camera trying to get involved in every aspect of the event whether I want their help or not...

Such was the Of Cabbages and Kings blog drawing for copies of my new humorous sci-fi novel, There Goes the Galaxy!

Now, this was a highly-technical process. First I wrote the names of everyone who left a comment on the giveaway post on small slips of paper and placed them in a bowl. Then my whiskered companion, Harry, got in the way while I went to take a photo to prove I had done this. So I moved him out of the way. (Repeat ten times and ultimately give up, leaving the following...)

Lovely plumage.

And then we closed our eyes and drew the following two names:

Yes, congratulations to John and Shirley! You have each won a copy of There Goes the Galaxy. Please email me at jennthorson [at] earthlink [dot] net with your addresses and I will send you your book.

If the books remain unclaimed by noon of October 5, I'll redraw a new name, so someone else can receive the copy of the book.

Also note: the separate GoodReads giveaway has closed, too! I have to pop off and see who the winners are there. GoodReads notifies those winners directly and I will be shipping off those book copies today.

It's got humor... fantasy... science fictioniness... and all the other things you want in a good book like, um, pages that turn and a spine that holds it all together! And best of all, if you leave a comment answering the question below, I'll put you in a drawing for one of two free copies of my novel, There Goes the Galaxy.

So, think about it... pages that turn, a spine, and I'll even throw in a totally cosmic cover attached to it, designed by my friend Dave, all for FREE if you're the lucky commentor chosen from the drawing!

And if you don't want to go through all the hassle of a drawing, but think you might want a copy of the book in either softback or ebook form, you can order it on Amazon here. (It's also in ebook form on Amazon.co.uk for my UK friends.)

This was prompted by a Google search that came to my blog the other day. Someone was looking for "Henry the Eighth for Kids." Once I stopped snickering over the image of The Tudors filmed for a pre-school crowd--- ("you see, Timmy, when a King and his courtier love each other very, very much. Or, well, y'know, they dance together for five seconds at the Royal Ball and find they both don't have plans for afterwards...") --anyway, it really got my creative mind a-turning. So today I give you the Please-Don't-Read-This-To-Your-Children version of 'Henry the Eighth for Kids'":

Count Along with Henry Tudor!

Henry Tudor was a king, In England long agoSeven Henrys ruled beforeThis Henry had his go.

Now, Henry Eight, he had six wivesThough not at the same timeFor that, dear kids, is "bigamy"With no place in this rhyme

So count to One and we will meetQueen Catherine AragonShe was the One who bore no sonSo Henry said, "So long."

See, boys back then were very prizedBut girls were not so blessed.Today each child is loved the same.(Still, Dad likes Junior best.)

So Catherine was sent awayAnd now we count to TwoIt's Anne Boleyn, the courtesanWho Henry sought to woo

This Anne, she had a daughter LizBut still no bouncing boyTwo children now King Henry hadYet no heir brought him joy

And in these days was no divorceSo Mommy stayed with DadAnd Dad with Mommy, even ifShe had a new friend Chad.

So Henry said good-bye to AnneIn his medieval wayWithout divorce, he saw no course.She lost her head one day

The word "decapitation" means"To leave without your cap."Mention it to mommy onceWhen she asks you to nap.

No, nevermind-- let's move alongQuick now to Number ThreeJane Seymour stepped upon the stage(Without Kay Jewelry).

Jane had the son of Henry's dreamsThe apple of his eyeBut birth was rough and times were toughAnd Jane, she sadly died.

So let's count Four to Anne of ClevesThat's two queens now named AnneSince this blind date won't turn out greatAnnulment's Henry's plan

"Annulment" means to marry andto say it doesn't countLike "cooties, no takebacksies" does.It gave the King an out.

"Knock, knock," came the sound on my passenger window at the grocery store parking lot. An elderly man with a cane was standing there, motioning. I rolled down the window with 68% certainty this wasn't a clever new snatch-and-grab ploy for car-jacking or, oh, for stealing the thrifted Oasis CD off my passenger seat.

(I can just see it now, as they sit around the retirement home common area with a stack of their lifted CD booty: "Is he saying 'wonderwall'? What in dadgum tarnation is a 'wonderwall', Elsie?"... And no, I don't know, either. It is catchy, but it confounds my days.)

(Then again, I don't know where Tarnation is. I think it might be out west near Perfection and Desperation.)

But I digress. A lot. Because, see, the nice man who was the complete opposite of a carjacker or CD thief in his do-gooderness had simply stopped to inform me that my right front tire was almost flat.

This was not unlike the situation two months ago where kind-hearted guys in a sports car waved at me at a red light to tell me that... my right front tire was almost flat.

Or my awesomely cool coworker, two months before that, who called me in my office to tell me that... yes, you guessed it. My tire was of the non-airfilled variety.

Three things we learn from this:

1.) People in Pittsburgh are caring and wonderful to strangers in a way that is almost mind-blowing. (Thank you, Pittsburgh!)

2.) I am too lazy and distracted to make time for regular car maintenance.

And 3.) This stupid tire had a breathing problem and I needed to have it examined.

Because this tire-- this brand new frigging tire-- had been slowly losing air week by week from the time I bought it. I would pump up, but then it would deflate again and just need more attention.

So it was more like a big name film star, than a tire, really. Or Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada. You could never attend to it enough. Just when you'd think it had everything it needed, it would deflate, demand, and you'd have to blow air into its ego once more.

Thankfully, since we're in Pittsburgh, we have the solution to driving divas like this. Places like Duke's Tire, one of those old timey mom-and-pop (mostly pop) places which almost don't exist anymore, where the service is quick, efficient and, most importantly, they don't take guff from uppity rubber spheres with a need for regular adulation.

I was expecting them to find a nail, a tack, or water buffalo, or like the one time I had tire issues, the better part of a metal file. But it turns out there was a leak around the gasket. And in minutes, the good ol' Duke boys replaced it and sealed it for $15-- and a look of apology as if they feared they charged too much.

It warms the cockles of the heart, I tell you. All of them, those cockles. Not that I know what cockles are.

Step Right In, and Welcome!

Welcome to Of Cabbages and Kings, the blog of author, Jenn Thorson. Here you'll find updates on the There Goes the Galaxy humorous sci-fi bookseries and other writing projects. Also expect to see musings on pop culture, grammar nerdism, literary nose-tweaking, a few feisty aliens, all united for gleeful, eccentric fun.

Come, savor the Cabbage-- for it is funny, fresh and unexpectedly tasty!

About Yours Truly

Greetings, good people! I am a MacGyver-er of words, drinker of caffeines and sitter at desks. I currently have a humorous sci-fi trilogy out called There Goes the Galaxy. (The books are called There Goes the Galaxy (book 1) and The Purloined Number (book 2) and Tryfling Matters. If you're curious about that, I hope you'll pop by my website at: www.jennthorson.com

If You Enjoy This Blog

You might also enjoy my humorous space fantasy novels, There Goes the Galaxy andThe Purloined Number (There Goes the Galaxy #2), both available in paperback and ebook forms. Click here to learn more about them on my book website: www.jennthorson.com