@YesButNo First issue with the story, is that you don’t give us a description of ‘ace’, nor Etherlred. As such, it makes it quite difficult to discern what these characters look like, let alone what they are capable of.

Another gripe I have, is that the story starts in the middle of a battle, with no prior buildup to it, thus losing elements such as suspense or the ‘Hero’s journey’.

The two characters are also extremely flat characters with no discernible personality beyond ‘We want loot’. so its quite difficult for anyone to relate with the characters, let alone root for them.

Additionally, there were also several parts that sound quite awkward to me, when I read it.