Eddie Murphy looks a dead cert for the Razzies and possibly the worst movie ever award as critics queue up to give his A Thousand Words a righteous shoeing.
The movie currently rates 0% on Rotten Tomatoes "Tomatometer", based on 42 reviews. The website summarises the plot thus:
Eddie Murphy is Jack McCall, a fast-talking …

Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore. I'm not overly keen on romantic films at the best of times but this was the most god-awful and unfunny piece of crap I have ever seen.

Alternatively, M Night Shyalaman's entire body of work. Sixth Sense was utterly predictable and Haley Joel Osmont got on my tits, Unbreakable....well it was ok I guess. The Village dragged on without going anywhere and don't even get me started on The Happening.

Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

The "Send M Night Shyalaman Back to Film School" fundraising website is still going, but they've only raised a bit over $700 so far - please give generously before he strikes again: http://mnightschool.org/

Or Troll 2

Could this movie cross the so bad it's good again barrier?

I actually have copies of Battlefield Earth, the remake of the Wickerman, Plan 9, The Star Wars Christmas Special, and The Room (although I've only watched those last two once). All are even better with Rifftrax.

Its Murphy

Re: Its Murphy

Bowfinger was great and Shrek 1/2/3/4 of course. But generally speaking his mug should serve as a warning that a movie is going to stink. He should go on his hands and knees to someone like Tarantino and beg for a decent acting part to revitalise his career.

Re: Not the worst.

It's not a sequel

Not an official one at least. IIRC, it was supposed to be called Goblins but the distribution company changed the name to capitalize off the "success" of Troll - despite having no rights to do so and the films being completely unrelated.

Re: Not the worst.

Clearly you are all wrong. The worst movie? The Trial of Billy Jack. A pretentious and lame sequal to a lame original. A friend of mine told others to go see it because he knew they would never otherwise believe how bad it was.

Re: Pearl Harbor sequel

the sequel came with it - for some reason the movie didnt end with the attack on pearl harbour.

It was at that point in the film when i was informed i was stuck in the cinema for a further hour and a bit while the "story" dragged on until finally USA got a bit of revenge by managing to bomb japan.

Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

The worst part was how Hollywood caved to the Japanese being offended that they did indeed attack without provocation. I thought the report of the giant rubber lizard attacking Honolulu was a bit too much.

Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

Poor old Eddie

Eddie Murphy has been in some fine comedies and is a good actor when challenged by a good director and script. But he seems to have trouble telling a good script apart from a bad one or has taken the Michael Caine approach to choosing roles - anything at all so long as it pays the bills.

Whatever the reason, seeing Eddie Murphy on a billboard should serve as a warning that the film is more likely to be awful than not.

The worst film in the history of the universe is Legally Blonde 2. I was forced to endure it once on a transatlantic flight, and it's the only film I've ever watched which made me feel both mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being. Quite apart from the unimaginably banal storyline, horrendous characters, and the complete lack of anything even vaguely interesting on screen (at one point I resorted to playing the 'would you?' game out of sheer desperation and by the end the score was still at zero, extras included). The worst part was that someone somewhere decided to make that film, and some other people agreed with them and between them all they created something that if it was utterly erased from history the world wouldn't even be a better place, it would just dissipate like a fart in a gale, unnoticed and unmissed. Thanks for reminding me of that terrible experience El Reg, I thought I'd filed that one away with all the other bits of my wasted life but you've managed to drag it back out to turn my stomach anew.

"mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being"

If you think that's bad, you should try watching the utter dog shit that is Bride Wars. My girlfriend made me watch that in the CINEMA, no less. At least on a flight you can unplug your earphones and go to sleep, or stare at the floor for a couple of hours. There's no escape when you're faced with surround sound, big screen twoddle of epic proportions.

I thought I'd never be able to watch another film again in my life. Luckily, years of therapy have helped.

Re: Worst movie

I will have to watch it

Everytime a film is classified as the worst ever, I feel compelled to buy the DVD ( maybe not at full price, I can wait a few years )

Let me tell you, if there is one thing that will never gather dust in my flat is "The hottie and the nottie". I am sure there will be a remake of it soon. Hopefully with exactly the same actors and plot.

Re: I will have to watch it

My personal nomination....

...is Batman & Robin.

However, I do remember sitting in the cinema watching Unbreakable.

I broke the cardinal rule of speaking during a screening which I had never done before and now only reserve for telling noisy teenagers to "shut up or f*** off!". About 70% of the way through I just felt compelled to say out loud - "Is anything actually meant to happen in this film?"

Eat Pray Love

Worst movie I've ever seen? Well, I own copies of Battlefield Earth, Sword for Truth *and* the animated Titanic films, so they would definitely qualify.

Most hated film? Terminator 3, hands down, no contest. Not just because it was an unnecessary cash-in, not just because it was a horrendously shit experience, but because of what it ruined, and how big a part of my childhood that ruined thing was.

Re: T3 was ok No it wasn't, except for:

T2 Brilliant, more polished, original story picked up, turned on its head and then put perfectly to bed. Plus a mini gun.

----------------------

Neither T1 or T2 pushed the basic premise beyond its limits. The Matrix worked well for the same reason. If they were ever to make a sequel to The Matrix then I'm sure it would push its premise too far, and thus fail.

What's wrong with you guys? OK, T4 was horrible too, but T3 was atrocious. The mind-numbing and completely pointless action scenes. The total lack of an explanation for why the narrative has continued. The lack of an explanation for the presence of yet another T-800 model 101. The complete pussification and sidelining of John Connor, a dude who was previously the coolest 10 year old alive. The bullshit explanation of why Sarah isn't around (her actress knew this was going to be shite).

They make gay bar jokes with a Terminator, and turn him into a comic character more than once. No, no no no no no. The Terminator in the original film was big, sinister and fucking deadly. Even in T2, he softens over time, but in the beginning he's death incarnate. He'll make you shit your pants just to steal your sunglasses. He comes across as a threat, and you believe it when Sarah tries to destroy him. In T3, they take that same character and put him in Elton John shades.

HA HA FUCKING HA. Prick.

That's not to forget the other supposed walking killing machine in the movie: the fembot, an early prototype for a Michael Bay transformer. Oh yes, this is going to conquer the fucking world. Inflatable tits and skintight leather are required for that, are they? And the remote-control nanobots? BULLSHIT. The T-800's power-core going nuclear just so we can have another explosion? BULLSHIT.

I'm going to stop here before I hyperventilate (again). God, I hate that fucking film. The ending was the one thing that came near to a saving grace, but by that point I was so full of rage I was ripping the arms off the cinema seat and frothing at the mouth.

How does that give it the sorts of advanced robotics needed to start producing killing machines?

If it's running on people's home pcs, then a power cut will cripple it.

laem laem laem.

But, yes, absolutely, John Connor turning from a badass into a wimp was the desecration of a childhood hero.

And the nanobots, and their totally patchy application. Why did the walking fleshlight bother to pull over when the cop stopped her for running the junction? she could have just taken control of his car and crashed it. If she could make a flamethrower of her arm, why couldn't she make a jet, and fly to John Connor and land on him at high speed.

Re: Greg J Preece

I agree with most of what you say but not that this makes it a "worst film". All of that just adds up to a bad personal experience and most of that is just because you watched the originals as a kid. If you get that upset every time hollywood screws around with things you're gonna spend a lot of time in therapy.

Star Wars - Phantom Menace did the same thing for a lot of us in our 30s/40s but that doesn't make it a "Worst Film". Pretty bad, yes, but by Hollywood standards by no means an absolute stinker (and I recently had the "joy" of being dragged to the new 3D release by my Star Wars obsessed 5-year-old so the pain is still all too fresh).

There are many bad films, but most of the bad films are bad because they either star nobodies or have the budget of a pub session.

The worst film that was a real film that I've ever seen is 2012. Apart from the flying giraffe (or was it a rhino?) 2012 is abysmal.

Maybe though the people involved in this film wanted it to be bad so they could get the press coverage and get people to buy it "to see how bad it is"? Can't say that's all that bad a marketing strategy if you ask me.

Budget and "stars" don't make good movies.

Spending lot of money does not compensate for bad direction, poor editing, rubbish scripts and the biggest problem with Hollywood; that being a total lack of imagination and originality.

T3 was rubbish, “2012” was tedious rubbish (like pretty much every disaster movie ever made), War or the Worlds (with T.C.) was rubbish, tedious and annoying, last 3 star-wars! etc...

The last Bond film was bad, but made far worse by the ridiculous editing; what is the point of staging big fight scenes, then editing it so you cannot see what is happening?

Good films start with a good script, that script needs a good director who can plan out how they will show it to us, and get good performances from the cast and crew...

CGI/Special effects should only be there to help tell the story, they are not a substitute for one. Unfortunately most of the dross coming out of Hollywood these days is all CGI/3D/HD remakes and boring as hell.

Walking Out

I've walked out of two movies that I paid for. One was 'Jubilee', long ago. The other, more recently, was 'Temptation of the Christ'. I can't even believe I paid to walk in to that one. I desperately wanted to walk out of 'God Save The Queen', but I stuck it to the bitter end because my girlfriend like the Pistols (it didn't work out). As for the other turkeys cited here, having paid attention to the reviews I didn't pay to see any of them at the theater, so walking out was not an option.

Worst film ever

I presume from the nominations for worst film that no-one has seen Green Lantern?

Tescos were having a special on DVDs, and it was £3. I thought "hey, if it's crap then at least it's no more expensive than renting it for a night". Wrong - it's also cost me a couple of hours of my life. Kept watching, thinking "Somewhere along the line it's got to have something neat happen - even Transformers: Dark of the Moon managed that." But no...

Worst film ever? JET starring Keiffer Sutherland!

KS plays a alcoholic air traffic controller who has guide a plane safely down! Riveting stuff!

The budget must have been about $25 and a lot of borrowed back rooms at the local supermarket! In 90 minutes you see HS's work station, his managers desk and the stairwell, of course bear in mind the entire thing is shot at night and in the dark to add even more drama but makes it look even more cheap! Oh and some very poorly filmed and obviously cheaply licensed shots of planes taxing on nighttime runways!

I actually sat through the entire thing and regretted the time wasted what should have been a clue, the £2.99 I wasted on the DVD!

Re: Hmm...

I don't think you can put a privately funded and produced movie in the same league as stuff that comes out of Hollywood. Given the fan funding context it actually doesn't look that bad from what I've seen.

(or didn't, its amazing how well the graphics have come along sing Babylon 5 (over 15 years ago) with zillions of Amiga's all fitted out with Toasters)

The Soundtrack is really good :)) at the very least that will be the highlight of the movie, along with the deliberately hammy acting (they actually got a few real actors (some are professional actors as well;)

Based on their previous 2 movies this one should be very good.

They were definitely worth downloading (check them out online for free.) (ok i they were utter turkeys, but at least they did try thier best (before Paramount and a few other movie companies blew a fuse about copyright)

[ Yes i admit it i have very low standards when it comes to Movies, but then i used to love watching Plan-9 and similar B-Movies on BBC2 late at night in the 80's and loved them:)

Of all the Movies that have come out in the last 20 years, This one is one i will definitely go to watch, if they get a general cinema release, lets hope they do.

Basically...

Re: Basically...

It just that when we look back we mostly only remember the (averaged) 1.2 decent films that come out each year.

Though is seems worse these days as many of the truely awfull films being made are remakes of what most people regard as classics.

I can understand doing this if the original was a foreign film and they just want to make an English version, but when the originals were made by and started the Hollywood greates, it makes no sense at all.

The Room

"The Room" by Tommy Wiseau is a bit odd. It's a bit like an after-school special as told by drug dealer.I thought the ending was great, if only because it ensured there would be no sequels (we can only hope).

Re: The Room

Worst film ever

... not sure about the worst film ever - this "made for TV" film is probably the most depressing I've ever seen. Normally I'm quite happy for bad stuff to happen to people in films but by the end of it I was like "Oh, FFS - just give them a break - the poor feckers haven't had ANYTHING go even slightly right for them, not even once".

Worst movie?

Not even Plan 9 can even come close to Manos: The Hands of Fate for sheer terribleness. From a 10 minute intro scene of a family driving where literally nothing happens (it was meant to have the credits superimposed over it, but they forgot) to the "haunting" Torgo theme to Torgo himself who was supposed to be some kind of goat person but just looked like he'd crapped himself to an ending implied paedophilia.

Bad movies

Year One - what tripe. A whole year's worth. A movie sooo bad, even my teenage son wanted to walk out, and we did.

10,000 BC - could have been an OK movie, but cavemen versus Egyptians? Really?

But the worst offender - The Piano. Yeah, I know it won awards but that's still 121 minutes of my life wasted in the worst possible way. I'd much rather have had to suffer through the last two Terminator films consecutively. Or had boiling sugar poured into my eye sockets while being castrated.

Murphy's pathetic, artificial-sounding laugh ...

Titanic?

I know there's a version by James Cameron, and a cheap knock-off with a rapping dog you might have heard of, but I'd nominate the Orlando Corradi version. The full title is "The Legend of The Titanic",

Not only because it's english soundtrack sounds (at least on the German DVD release) like it came over a medium wave link, but also because it's amazing way of throwing rhyme and reason over board.

I mean it gets tiny things wrong, like 1 minute into the film, you see "The Times" with the date "Moday 14 April 1912", OK, in the US the date is written differently, and "Moday" is actually spelled "Monday" and that day in April was actually a Sunday,..... but why does it say "INTERNET EDITION" directly under the title?

I can understand them using mice to explore that topic, but then again, mice mustaches aren't conductive, and even if they were they wouldn't electrocute someone, and even if they would his nose wouldn't blink, and even if he wouldn't come back to life after he died.

I can also understand that one might explore the idea of everyone being saved, perhaps even by some strange circumstances, and dolphins are perhaps an interesting idea, and I can understand that in a world where mice can talk it might not be to strange that dolphins can talk too, but why does it have to be caused by tears and moonbeams hitting the ocean, and why does it have to cause the dolphins to be able to levitate???

And I'm not even talking about the love story, or the subplot explaining _why_ there was an iceberg. (hint: it involves Sharks in prison suits, and a naive dog-faces buff octopus)

Re: Never Ending Story 2

IMDB user reviews - a new game!

Though I usually look at Rotten Tomatoes for movie reviews, I often check out User Reviews on IMDB.

I looked at 2081 (2009) a short based on a Vonnegut story, and all reviews bar one were very positive. The one negative reviewer was seemingly incensed, so I clicked on his handle to what other films he had reviewed. He would only give films 0 stars or a full 10, and it has occurred to me use his 0-star movies as a shortlist of what to watch next!

From his reviews, I also find that he drinks Stella Artois, and that if he drinks it he is more likely he is to give a positive review. Now, his pet dog's mother's maiden name, his bank manager's inside leg measurement and his Casio Databank password I'm still working on!

Murphy has been in more bad films than good ones and he's played more bad roles than good ones. Had he not been in so many bad films before this would be surprising. He has appeared in more than his share of turkeys, so it's not surprising in the slightest.

Re: I am surprised.

Bah!

Plan 9 etc isn't a benchmark of bad. That title was unarguably taken by Van Helsing, the only movie I was glad people were texting in because it gave me something marginally more interesting than the movie to watch.

Best comment: "Well, the tickets were expensive but at least the movie sucked".

One word...

Re: One word...

A film whose title is a fancy word for depression directed by a director with a reputation for directing depressing films who I think has been diagnosed with depression (well he's Scandinavian and they tend to run to the depressed viewpoint. The glass is *always* half empty).

Points 1 2 and 3 rescue GI Joe, all the Underworld series, Van Helsing and Doomsday and are essentially the plot of Suck Punch (Who didn't see Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction and think "I wonder what Fox Force Five would have been like?) while 4 stuffs Wanted. 5&6 kept me watching Eden Lake, Hard Candy (while parts of me tried to retract back inside myself) and Lucky Number Sleven. I'd say 7 is what made Stormbreaker such a miss able experiences. JK Rowling keep well away from the script for any Harry Potter movie and I think they all benefited from that.

Authors. Know your place. Learning to write screenplays by writing the first of what you *hope* will be a franchise with 10s (100s?) of $m at stake is *not* a good idea. Really.

The last 2 are very individual. Some performer *always* manage to choose good pieces to do. Others it's more of a mixed bag. Others just seem to guarantee fail. For every Anger Management you get a Don't Mess with the Zohan and a Big Daddy, with a bonus portion of Jack & Jill, for example. Not pretty.

I'm partial to Janeane Garofalo and chortled through Romy & Michelles High School Reunion, The Truth About Cats & Dogs and Copland. And Ben Stiller but *boy* did Mystery Men hurt. Almost *nothing* will make me abandon a film I've put down cash to view but I came close that day.

Re: A few suggested rating rules...

Aw, come on. Mystery men was *fun* schlock! How can you hate a movie about a city full of superheroes that focuses on the low-rent ones? William Macy was absolutely hilarious as The Shoveler (superpower? "I shovel very well."). And Invisible Boy, who can only turn invisible when nobody -- including him -- is watching? Brilliant!

Re: A few suggested rating rules...

To be fair

Maybe the graphic novel on which Mystery Men is based is better.

I'll admit their are some neat *bits* but the don't happen nearly often enough. Eddie Izzard's dedication to the idea that "Disco is not dead" has a certain charm and I'd like to have seen more of some of Casanova Frankenstein's partners in crime.

For low rent super heroes trying to sort themselves out I'd go with "The Return of Captain Invincible."

Alan Arkin is Hancock 3 decades before Will Smith. Christopher Lee has a musical number (I'm *fairly* sure it's his only song in 9 decades). What's not to love?

Yet another opinion …

In my view, the film Windows (1980, in those halcyon pre-PC days) continues to hold its spot against all competition at the nadir of filmed entertainment. It was nominated for five Razzies in 1981 — Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay — and inconceivably took home none of them. It was robbed.

Re: Yet another opinion …

"In my view, the film Windows (1980, in those halcyon pre-PC days) continues to hold its spot against all competition at the nadir of filmed entertainment. It was nominated for five Razzies in 1981 — Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay — and inconceivably took home none of them. It was robbed."

Some very poor films nominated...

and some terrible slanders of others, e.g. Hudson Hawke. However, if you think Murphy can be bad, check out Bill Cosby in Leonard Part 6. The only good thing I can say about it is that there are no parts 1-5.

By far and away the worst film I have ever seen - and yes, I have seen most of the preceding nominations. Not that Shark In Venice number, though. That does sound truly god-awful.

...;but, but, but

Re: ...;but, but, but

Just finished reading 'Star', the biography of Warren Beatty. The stories about how his films were made are fantastic. Ishtar was indeed a turkey but apparently a worse one was his 'Town and Country'...

Pearl Harbour

I think it's difficult to make a film that stays either good *or* bad over time.

Citizen Kane lost to How Green Was My Valley but how many people have ever *seen* the latter?

Likewise Hudson Hawk's reputation has (slightly) risen over the years. Probably not too popular in the UK but plenty of cinematic in jokes some surprising casting and it did not take itself too seriously. "Breaking it down for the 'hoes back home" is not something I'd ever expect Richard E. Grant to say.

But I wonder what movies have been released and people at the time said "This is s**t" and 2,3,4 or more decades later still say "This is s**t" ?

Perhaps it’s a second tier superpower?

John Smith 19, I saw Windows in a cinema, thought poorly of it at the time*, and still think poorly of it three decades on. I don’t know which studio made it or what its budget was, though. I can only hope that generations yet unborn will be spared exposure to it in any media format.

* — Spontaneous heckling improved its entertainment value, which made sitting through it bearable to me. When the final credits started rolling, the remaining audience roundly booed it.

Re: I think it's difficult to make a film that stays either good *or* bad over time.

Personally, I rate "Citizen Cane" as on of the most over-rated piles of steaming manure ever committed to film. Boring, badly acted, and with absolutely no point whatsoever - I really don't understand why it is so highly regarded.

However, the worst film must come from the never-ending spew of "plucky girl makes good in a nasty world" genre. Some are good, but many are so banal they are just an utter waste of time.

OK

ANYTHING with that fuckwit Adam Sandler.... And STILL he turfs them out.... He should be taken outside and pelted with his own shit. He is quite without doubt the unfunniest man in the universe. 'Jack and Jill' ffs...

Hey hey hey! I've just realised - no one's mentioned Steven Seagal yet! Taught at the Plank School of Acting. Actually that's probably a good thing, otherwise these comments will get drowned.... His films seem to be on continuous rotation on UK Channel Five (I think) at the moment, rendering it even more unwatchable.

Worst Film

Two Headed Shark Attack

Well, my nomination would go to Two Headed Shark Attack. You would think, from the title that it would be quite good. I mean, a shark, with two heads, attacking.... what could go wrong? And it has Carmen Electra..... but no. Really, just.... no!

Turkish Star Wars?

recently saw something called...

...Sleeping Beauty recently. it was pure, unadulterated shit. after the credits rolled there was this numbing silence in the room. the GF (who suggested we watch it as it looked 'interesting') had this look of both perplexment and terror on her face. i suppose watching that TRASH was worth it from this point of view, but as i try to recall scenes oor dialogue from the film, i realise my brain has helpfully blacked out any memory bar the title just so i know to avoid it at any cost.

i think the only lucky one in that entire movie is the lead actress, since she gets to sleep through the whole sordid mess.

Ever? when did the world end?

As with all polls whith the words 'best of' of 'worst of' in them, this is ridiculous.

The world as we know it has NOT ended. This poll (and all the money grabbing, originality vacuum compilation albums which come out near public holidays) should be called 'the best/worst [whatever] SO FAR' or 'TO DATE'.

There is always scope for something better or worse to come along, as the innapropriate touching of the original Star Wars by George Lucas proves!.