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How do you work through your feelings of experiencing a loss?
I’m raising this question with you because very recently I experienced a loss - a deep loss. This past week I departed with something very dear to me, my double bass.
I bought my bass from the late Peter Chandler in 1996 while working on my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at York University in Toronto. Every week for three years my bass and I would drive to school together for private lessons, rehearsals, and performances. Every day I would practice 3-4 hours with my bass; together we helped each other discover our voice.

Sometimes words elude us. And then sometimes we read a poem, hear a song, or watch a movie that sheds light on how we’re feeling. This past week, I had one of those moments.
It was the Family Day weekend here in Ontario. As a family we shared moments of laughter, playing games, making meals, enjoying food, watching hockey, and relaxing. It was a good weekend! And then, out of nowhere, I felt a quietness and sadness creep into my soul. I was speechless; I had no words for what I was feeling or thinking in this moment.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to catch all the breaks? Or why that one couple seems to have such a great marriage while yours feels lukewarm at best? Have you ever questioned if God really exists, and, if so, why the world is so screwed up? Have you every wondered why some people land great jobs, or create amazing companies, and others live pay cheque to pay cheque hoping they can pay this month’s rent?
Is the life we experience simply a grand total of all the choices we’ve made to this point? Do some people thrive because they set compelling goals for themselves and then followed them up with passion, determination and perseverance?

“Did you have fun?” my son, Aidan, was asked by his head coach after his first Atom AAA hockey tournament came to an end in Detroit, Michigan.
I have to admit, when I heard this question I was somewhat taken back. During Aidan’s very young years in house league hockey there was a strong emphasis on the kids having fun. But now he was in AAA hockey. Should “having fun” continue to be the benchmark of whether something was good and worthy of our time and energy?
I wonder...

Okay, this is confession time. Have you ever been with someone, played a game, or gone to an event that just seemed to bring out the ‘worst’ in you? I know I have.
And to be very honest, I’m writing these words the morning after one of those nights. Last night I “lost it” on a ref after he called a goal on a shot that never crossed the goal line. And to make matters worse, it happened to be the winning goal in a 2-1 loss, in a game our team needed to win. To say the least, I was feeling very frustrated and upset.

I grew up in a tradition that readily declares “Jesus is the light of the world” while completely forgetting that he also said: “You and I are the light of the world!”
Could it be that we have missed the whole point of his message?
Like the massive crowd gathered to hear Jesus speak some 2000 years ago, we too often miss the weight, breadth, height and liberty found in his words. And to that end, we, like all those before us, go seeking after Messiahs, Saviors, Liberators and Lovers who will deliver us from our present state of anxiety, apathy and angst.

What do we truly want? In other words, what is our purpose for being here? What motivates you and me to get out of bed every morning?
I know that asking “what do you truly want” is indeed a loaded question. But the truth is, when we lose sight of our “why,” life quickly turns into a struggle; despair takes root, and the pangs of emptiness grip us like a noose around our neck.

If you’re honest with yourself, these first two stages of listening are what you experience most often in your life. This is the world you grew up in at school, church and home; and now today, you experience it at work and with your family. These two stages of listening have been well rehearsed, and to that end, you’re left with the gnawing pangs of emptiness and atrophy in your gut.

“Aidan, let the violin ring!”
These were the precise words my son’s teacher spoke to him as his finger searched for the A note on his E string. Laurie’s statement was an invitation for Aidan to listen to, and allow the natural beauty and lush overtones of the violin to ring forth and resonate within his body and soul. Well, that may be a bit of a stretch, but note this: when a violinist plays in tune with her instrument, the violin naturally resonates with brilliance, clarity and beauty. In other words, its voice is awakened.

Is being a human being our problem?
I’m pondering this thought because I often see us trying so hard to improve ourselves; to better ourselves in one way or another. It would appear that we’re uncomfortable in our own skin. We seem to have a hard time sitting still and deeply appreciating who we are.
Just for the fun of it, I did a Google search this morning on self-improvement, and you know what, millions of other people did too. There are over 200 000 000 results when you search Google for what people want to improve about themselves.
That’s crazy!