Apparently… wait for it… beard transplants are trending. According to the Daily Mail, the number of men opting for a little fuzz help has upped sixfold in the past five years – a reiteration, I think, of George Clooney’s undeniable cross-gender sex appeal. Or something like that.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Movember aside (if even), no one I know would willingly get behind an aggressive amount of male facial hair. Okay, that might be an overgeneralization. But regardless, a clean shave is like a well-tailored suit: a leading factor in one’s ability to nail everything. And said clean shave depends on a few key items: