‘Warped’

Sunday

May 19, 2013 at 10:01 AM

Lou Parris Mountains to Molehills

The Mountains to Molehills reader asking why anyone would want an assault weapon gets some answers from Alex Nelon of Hendersonville. “For one reason,” says Mr. Nelon, “some people think they look cool. The reasons are quite a lot like the reason someone buys a Mercedes when a Kia will do the job perfectly well. It has very little to do with making one feel safer in most cases and much more to do with interest in a particular technology. Gun owners, for the most part, do not understand why they are under attack. The vast majority of gun owners are law-abiding citizens who view their interest in firearms much the same as golfers, car collectors and bicyclists view their interests. Nothing more, nothing less. The dialogue has been warped to such a degree that even gun owners, in their sincere desire to communicate, feel a need to use the vocabulary — talking points — of those who are opposed to civilian gun ownership when responding to questions. They fall into a trap when they do this because it changes the central point and distorts the argument. Perhaps the answer is to school gun owners in debate techniques so they, like opponents to this particular civil liberty, can baffle with equal facility.”

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WHAT GIVES?: Emilee Cantieri of Hendersonville says she signed up with the Do Not Call Registry years ago, but those nuisance calls to her phone lately tell her it’s not working. “Has it expired?” she wonders. “Lately I have repeatedly gotten three kinds of calls, besides politicians, charities and service calls from credit card companies. One began, ‘Your home has been chosen ... .’ It was from some energy company. The next message began, ‘There’s a break-in every ... .’ That was from a security company. And another began, ‘If you are a senior ... .’ I am, but I hang up without finding out what they are selling. Am I the only one being pestered? How do I stop them? Some are robo calls, some hang up when my answering machine comes on, but some keep talking over my outgoing message. Any suggestions?”

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‘DEMOCRATIC WAYS’: Preston Haynes of Mill Spring, responding to the fellow who blames Bill Clinton for this nation’s problems with terrorists, says, “Short and sweet, once again you have had your say, but I still like Slick Willie and the Democratic ways.”

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DID YOU KNOW?: John Albree of Columbus shares a mayonnaise story that qualifies as a groaner, for sure. “Most people,” he says, “don’t know that back in 1912 Duke’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Veracruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. As we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico were crazy about mayonnaise. Their anguish was so great that they declared a national day of mourning, which they still observe to this day. It comes each year on May 5 and is, of course, known as Sinko de Mayo.”

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LAST BUT NOT LEAST: The Blue Ridge Agility Club of Western North Carolina will host an American Kennel Club agility trial this coming Friday-Sunday, from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. each day. The event will take place in the Western North Carolina Agricultural Center in Fletcher, and admission is free, but please leave your dogs at home. More than 300 purebred dogs from throughout the Southeast will compete at various levels of difficulty, including against each other and the clock. For more information about the trial or Blue Ridge Agility Club, either go online to www.blueridgeagility. com or call 713-3278.

Reach Lou Parris at 828-694-7836 or molehills@blueridgenow.com.

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