We're the same way with Jonathan and Josiah. The way my cycles lined up, even with Jonathan being premature, I wouldn't have had the cycle that Josiah came from if he had lived.

I hate that you guys understand exactly how we're feeling... because it means that you've gone through this pain. But I am so grateful to know that we're not crazy, and not alone. That being thankful for and loving this new baby doesn't mean we loved our lost babies any less.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ingrid5699

(((Elena))) Hope Elli's birthday was not too hard for you. Life going on is the way it is though.

It'll be a year since my m/c in 2 weeks. I share with you guys that this baby wouldn't be here if that baby would have lived. In fact I got my BFP on my lost angel's EDD.

AFM-had another checkup and placenta has already moved a bit-YAY! Baby is still transverse but the Doc thinks it's because the placenta is still so low and is where the head would be if baby were head down.

Thank you. It was a pretty good day, really. I felt myself getting super stressed at one point, when the printer wouldn't work and Levi kept calling me right in the middle of everything I was trying to get done. But then I realized why I was feeling so stressed - because there are so few things I get to do, as Elli's momma, and I wanted to do everything just right - and that actually helped me calm down. Just to realize it and accept it, and be okay with it.

to you for living this dichotomy, too. I am sure that the timing of your BFP with this baby is no coincidence.

That's great news about your placenta! it will keep moving for you! FWIW, I had a great induction with DS1. At least with the induction you should be able to get pain meds, like an epidural, before you even get things started with inducing!

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Originally Posted by stevensmom

There's a growing baby in there!

And a show off at that. Waving and playing with the umbilical cord!

Oh Erica, how wonderful!

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaisleyDeann

AFM: Spent 5 hours in the ER this morning. Been having contractions since Monday. At times they have been 3-5 minutes apart and lasting 1-1.5 minutes and cluster for 2-3 hours. I have been drinking tons of water trying to slow them down and it worked for the most part but I still continued to have them periodically and they would often times be close together. At 4am this morning I woke up with a constant dull achy cramping and lower back ache. I decided it was time to go in. I had been feeling baby like crazy but I needed to make sure my body wasn't trying to go into labor.

Baby looked great on ultrasound HR 147. No bleeding and my cervix was visually closed and not effaced so they sent me home. I'm a little unsettled since I am still crampy but I guess everything looks fine. I'm close to 18 weeks and never had any issues with preterm labor before so my assumption is things are probably fine just a new experience for me I guess. Just going to try and take it easy for awhile....

Oh goodness, how worrisome that would be that things will calm down for you and you'll get feeling back to normal again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by homebirthmom

oh mamas you break my heart reading your stories. I must be in too raw of a place or just a mom...

mama. Be gentle with yourself.

AFM: We had a good "Elli's day". Levi and I made her cupcakes with pink icing, we had them after the boys' hockey game which worked out well because DH's parents came for the game and came to the house afterwards, so they were able to be here with us too. The kids asked to have a candle lit and to sing happy birthday for her, so of course we did. They all let Levi blow out the candle.
It wasn't a big deal, nothing huge, but it was a special time with us remembering Elliana.