The Real Secret to Manifesting Reunions with Old Lovers (or anyone else)

What an amazing discovery! It’s not focusing on what we don’t want or focusing on the wrong things that hinders the manifesting process—though both are important in the Law of Attraction, prayer, magick, or however you apply Universal Law to your life. What keeps you from manifesting what you really want is…resistance.

Yes, of course, I’ll explain. And I’ll explain it in the context of the #1 reason people search my blogs and websites for information on manifesting. No, not how to get rich quickly and attract an abundance of cash and material treasures. No, the main interest my readers have in the Universal Law of Attraction is “How do I attract a particular person?” Not “How do I attract a mate?” because finding a mate—just any old mate—is not very difficult. Not even “How do I attract a new person in my life?” because that’s not hard either. The one that seems to elude most people is how “attract back” an old lover. This one is the hardest of all types of manifesting because, in my opinion, the heart is involved and that makes the resistance stronger than any other kind of desire to attract something.

There are many types of resistance when it comes to manifesting. The more external the resistance, the easier to overcome. The resistance may be societal, but two people in love will find their way around it, usually. Maybe it’s family or friends. That’s harder. Their influence is more personal. Sometimes friends or family will intentionally put up blocks to keep two people apart, or if not overtly, they spout constant negativity or doubt that causes you to question the relationship, so that resistance is created where there was none before. But the hardest type of resistance and the most difficult to get beyond comes from within….This article is included in its entirety in Attract Him Back.

Giselle, I can’t personally apply the direct opposite in the same way you’re suggesting but there IS a connection. Not sure if I can explain it but will try. Sometimes you still see a personyou don’t want to, like an ex you share custody with–and they’ll be in and out of your life to some degree for the rest of your life because you have kids together–but the lack of forgiveness will most definitely keep you apart as far as a reunion (vs seeing them on the street). The problem with those cases is that you’re still focusing on THEM and the bad in your relationship and getting more of the turmoil, and as much as you think you’re pushing them out of your life, your anger keeps them where they are in your life. It’s still resistance in a way–if you’re focusing on that turmoil and how much you despise them, then your resistant to letting them go and being rid of them. It’s as much a block to your reunion as it is a block to letting the get the hell away from your life. You’re still hanging on and they still rule your mind and energy. The best way (from personal experience) of letting them LEAVE your life (which is what I wanted) was to just not care about it and stop focusing on it so that they could “go.” I took down the barriers, which took a lot of energy on my part, and I didn’t realize it. Think of a tractor-beam holding them in place, LOL, and you expending that energy. The best way for people to come back into my life has been to take down the barriers that kept them from coming back. Then seeing them online or on the street (proximity) could facilitate a reunion (getting back together) easily.

But yes, I have also put up a shield to keep others out, people who were very bad for me, but I put up the shield and then let myself forget about it so I could get on with my life. I occasionally get a ping at the shields–an opportunity if I wish to reconnect. I don’t. I haven’t.

Giselle

June 2, 2008 at 9:27 AM ·

well ,that did kindda help. .cz’there r some ppl who i dont like and who i dont want interfering in my life and whom i want to keep away forever!!! so dt ws d actually basic need behind the question. .cz’ as i had read ur post, i tot u cud help me… so well i think i shall put up the resistance and then js forget abt it…
my god! that must have been real Hard work!!!

So, if I do go through with the forgiveness, how do I go about specifically attracting the person?

Mary

August 3, 2008 at 6:46 PM ·

Lorna,

After reading tons of books,articles and messages, and discussing with many many people, this paragraph (below) really hit home about ‘resistance’ and not having the other person matter concept. I think I finally understood that yes it’s like if you know for certain no matter what your mom or dad loves you, you won’t be fretting about it, will you? You will always be ‘home’ with the feeling. The same way in the romantic relationship where it is not happening or you’re trying to bring someone back, if for a moment you can stop and feel deep within that why am I fretting? He/she is with me in spirit and he/she loves me for who I am, and he/she is just sorting themselves out, yes there would be zero resistance and I’ve read that at ‘zero limits’ all things manifest. Getting there is the hardest especially if one has years of issues built up. I wonder if it’s going to take years to make the switch? I personally thank you for this:

“But the secret to manifesting a reunion is being able to take a really, really hard look within at anything that I still find hurtful, anything I still hold onto, any doubts that still create walls, and tear them all down. At that point, a point where many people feel that “it no longer matters” or “it isn’t important anymore,” that’s where it manifests. Not because the reunion or the person isn’t important to you anymore but because they’re important enough to you that you can release the blockages that keep you apart, whether it’s anger, hurt, feelings of insecurity, etc, that you still hold onto. And so this is the connection to forgiveness. When you can let go of the mistakes made that caused the separation, then the reunion can manifest, not just through forgiving the other person–for leaving, for having different dreams, for moving on without you, for having different values, for being imperfect–but also in forgiving yourself.”

Love,
Mary

Jason

October 27, 2008 at 8:48 AM ·

Hi Lorna,

I am not sure if this thread is still valid, but I thought I would write and see if you can respond. To give you a quick background I have been aware of The Process (IM) for a couple of years now but I do have a habit of “forgetting” to apply it. I am lucky and I have a good life, now I am choosing to have a committed relationship, life partner and children. This is why I am posting here.

About 10 months ago I met a woman and we have come to love each other immensely. I would use the phrase “soul mate” for my side. My internal vibrations tell me that my “soul” has met the soul that I can share my ultimate desires of “family” with. Over the past couple of months my girlfriend started to become depressed, had the feeling that she was “lost” and was stressed. Everything was stressy for her, everything from her job, family, life and me. I noticed that she tried to push me away, intimacy was withdrawn, kissing would be infrequent as were the hugs, but there were “glimpses” of the “relaxed” her and we would share everything from tender kisses to intimacy etc. More background for you was that I emigrated countries (and everything that comes with that, searching for job, house etc), and my stress was put on her, I forgot The Process and became grounded and she took all of that from me. On her side she has had previously bad relationships with her last two big relationships ended with both the men committing multiple affairs. Anyway we split up but stayed in contact and we agreed to try again, but after a while I noticed that she was withdrawing again. In the end I could see that there was a cycle and so I confronted her via sms and so that is where we left it. I said I am always there for her and I love her and I always will love her so if she changes her mind to contact me, otherwise I will contact her in a couple of months or next year.

Ok I know The Process, and I have read this posting and your other one about the different paths that couples split due to personal issues not to do with me. I can totally see where my resistance has been now reading the above, I “resist” her depression and her “losing herself” as it was the most natural relationship I had ever had. So now I am destroying those walls down. I have such a strange feeling inside that I kind of “know” that we will reunite, in fact I have told my closest friends that her and I WILL be together forever and will marry, have kids, the full thing, AFTER we have split. I feel it strongly.

My question is if I use the IM techniques of visualisation and/or the expectation techniques, am I offering the Universe/God a “need”? I am looking to speed up the process as I feel her soul and love inside me (I am not heartbroken etc), but is the “speeding” up of the physical reunion into my experience ALSO offering a “need”? Should I be concentrating on the manifestation of the “family” thing, committed relationship, living with, marrying, kids with the soul mate as the Universe already knows that my soul desires this individual?

Sorry my background information is so long, but I am really interested in looking at how to simplify The Process and what parts of the process I should use to speed up the reunion IF I should actually speed it up?

If you can respond I would be so grateful, but I will understand if you cannot.

Thank you for the help you have already offered as I feel the clues for my personal intention are here, and I completely agree with Mary above.

Thanks.

J.

Lisalisa

April 30, 2009 at 6:15 AM ·

My ex felt the need to contact me when he heard that I was happy for him. He left 6 months ago. He wanted me to know he hadn’t completely moved on and wasn’t very happy.

How do I manifest him back into my life? I am afraid of doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things.

I want him with me, I don’t need him with me anymore. That is a big difference.

6 months on and I am working on myself, improving every day.

I do forgive him, and I forgive myself.

How do I approach him? I know he will contact me soon. Do we talk about our relationship, what we want? Or just talk as friends.

BD

November 15, 2009 at 2:52 PM ·

Dear J,

I cant tell you how exact our backgrouds are. The only difference is I am a woman undergoing this and my man is going through a tough time solving issues within himself. The intensity of our connection is so strong and deep down, it is a voice inside that tells me reunion will take place. I will pray for you because I know what it feels to stand in your shoes. God bless you and your soulmate, my friend.

Love,
BD.

lisalisa

November 22, 2009 at 7:10 PM ·

What if the block is that he has a girlfriend. I can’t shake not wanting to communicate with him now that he does. There is so much I want to say to him, but I’m not sure there is any point.