Stolen Pixels #48: 2008 Awards, Part 1

As an almost-award-winning member of the gaming press and a member of the Gamepunx review staff, I sometimes get emails from people I might broadly refer to as "fans", and in some cases, "plaintiffs". They want to know if they should get MGS4.

Who are you mutants that haven't played this game yet? Without MGS4, your PS3 is nothing more than an expensive end table. Was my perfect-score review not compelling enough for you? No? Fine. Here is the only review you need:

Kojima is a GOD, and it sickens me that he squanders his talents trying to entertain the likes of you. Here is what you need to do:

1) Buy the game. 2) Bring it home. 3) Kill yourself.

Use rope. Don't go leaving a mess for someone else to clean up.

- Trav

Travis Taylor is a soon-to-be twice divorced reviewer who likes conversation, long walks on the beach, consensual sex, and whatever else women say they're into these days. You can reach him at travis@gamepunx.com.