Why the long face? Marlene Dietrich as Catherine the Great, with friend, in The Scarlet Empress

Director: Josef von Sternberg

Entertainment grade: B

History grade: D-

Catherine II, known as "the Great", was a German princess who became Empress of Russia in 1762 after the murder of her mentally infirm husband, Peter III. Over a reign of 34 years, she greatly expanded the Russian Empire and instituted a cultural renaissance. Despite this, she is most often remembered for a persistent myth that she died while indulging her carnal appetites with a horse. Sternberg's film is a racy account of Catherine's rise to power, released just as the Hays Code imposed heavy censorship on American films.

Society: The film opens with a montage depicting life in Russia in 1745, which largely seems to consist of elaborately fetishised torture. Heads are axed off, bodies are broken on a wheel, naked women are burnt at the stake, and someone is peeled out of an iron maiden (not invented for another half century). This sequence tells you a lot more about the mind of Josef von Sternberg than it does about the reign of the Empress Elizabeth, which was actually quite clement.

Casting: The S&M stuff dissolves to a pretty scene with the teenage Catherine in her German bower. Despite piling tiers of flouncy tulle and bows on the 33-year-old Marlene Dietrich, Sternberg has failed utterly to make her believable as a 16-year-old innocent. Enter the Count Alexei, a Russian envoy who is to take her away to be married to the tsar. He seems to be based on Empress Elizabeth's real-life lover, Alexei Razumovsky, and is played by future Republican Congressman John Lodge as a moody sexpot in tight black trousers, eye make-up and wild hair. In reality, Razumovsky looked a lot less like Russell Brand, and a lot more like what you might imagine if you picture a Republican Congressman, perhaps one that had just enjoyed a very long lunch. Also, wrong empress.

Romance: Catherine arrives in Russia to discover that her sole purpose is to incubate a son for Elizabeth's halfwitted heir, Peter. Unfortunately, Peter is busy burbling malignities and playing with his toy soldiers. Meanwhile, his mistress Elizabeth Vorontsova's main occupation is to shoot death stares at Catherine. This bit is reasonably accurate.

Dialogue: Alexei, in seduction mode: "Your husband doesn't mean a thing to you." Catherine: "He does! I'll always be faithful to him." Alexei: "Don't be absurd. Those ideas are old fashioned. This is the eighteenth century."

Politics: After discovering her sexuality in the arms of a random guardsman, Catherine is transformed into a political sophisticate. Not historically supportable, but at least Dietrich is finally allowed to drop her painfully unconvincing ingénue act. Catherine's road to power is simplified down to an intertitle: "And while His Imperial Majesty Peter III terrorized Russia, Catherine coolly added the army to her list of conquests." What, all of them?

The real Catherine plotted with lots of supporters but just one paramour, Grigory Orlov, depicted briefly and inaccurately here as a man with a moustache. Orlov does away with Peter (in reality, the murderer was probably his brother), leaving the way clear for Catherine to ride her white stallion all the way into the imperial throne room. It was probably too much to hope that Sternberg wouldn't mention the horse.

Verdict: The Scarlet Empress isn't really aiming for credibility so much as providing Sternberg with an excuse to film bondage, bosoms, fur coats, schlocky expressionist sets and Marlene Dietrich's face peering through bits of gauze. He narrowly avoids flunking the history test by recreating a lively and vaguely accurate impression of the relationship between Catherine and Peter. As for the rest of it: destined for the glue factory.