And Now, It’s Monty Python’s 10 Brainiest Songs

Everett

If you understand every reference Monty Python ever made, then get thee to a Jeopardy contestant search. From Flying Circus and Holy Grail to Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life, the British troupe’s comedy has endured not just because it’s peerless absurdity, but also because that its six creators were eggheads. From constitutionalism to religious hypocrisy to class politics to the Spanish Inquisition, their material often featured commentary on smart topics that required their audience to at least have paid attention in history class (if not also gotten a degree in it). And nowhere is the gang’s range of academicism—or at least their ability to mock said academicism—more apparent than in their songs.

Fans have a great chance to remember that fact today (which is also the day before the five living Pythons—John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin—reunite onstage for the first time in 35 years at London’s O2 arena): the group is reissuing every single thing they ever recorded. Yes, it’s a box set containing all nine of the group’s UK-released comedy albums, as well as Monty Python Sings, the 1989 compilation of their musical material that every Monty Python fan you know probably has a story about discovering. (I found my copy at a used-CD sale at my library, before I had any idea what “Sit On My Face” was about.) To celebrate the re-release of one of the unsung musical anthologies of our time, we thought we’d call out the 10 nerdiest Python songs. It should go without saying, but “Knights of the Round Table” and “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” didn’t make the cut. (“Never Be Rude to an Arab” and “I Like Chinese” were also excluded because, well, you don’t need to be a brainiac to understand racism.)

10. “Finland”

Released on Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album in 1980, this Palin-penned ode to Europe’s greenest, outdoorsiest nation—no seriously, it’s the most sparsely populated country in the EU—doesn’t really need you to know anything about Finnish history or politics, but if you knew that Finland’s tourism industry in the ’70s paled in comparison with its Scandinavian neighbors, you might laugh a bit harder.

9. “I’m So Worried”

Worry, as many a Python fan can tell you, knows no age or IQ level, but this Terry Jones song, off Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album (1980), goes a little deeper: it gets dark about pollution, overseas conflicts in the Middle East, and modern technology in a way that ends up clowning the very idea of worry about major global issues: it just goes on and on and on. By definition, then, it’s a song about ignorance and bliss.

8. “Every Sperm is Sacred” (b/w “All Things Dull and Ugly”)

If you didn’t grow up in a Catholic household, and weren’t familiar with the history of Catholicism and Protestantism in Britain, you might not fully appreciate the irreverence with which Python material frequently eviscerated religion. “All Things Dull and Ugly” was a straightforward parody, from 1980’s Contractual Obligation Album, of the Episcopal hymn “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” which would assume its audience goes to church (or was at least forced to at one point). Meanwhile “Every Sperm is Sacred,” from 1983’s The Meaning of Life, was part of a massive musical theatre performance, peopled mostly by hundreds of children (the offspring of Michael Palin and Terry Jones’ poor Catholic characters, thanks to the Catholic church’s strict contraception ban). Knowledge of Charles Dickens, British theatrical tropes, and the relationship between religion and poverty would help, too.

7. “Medical Love Song”

Okay, so you don’t need a Ph.D. to enjoy a tune about very undesirable affection, but a medical degree—or at least WebMD—would certainly give you a working knowledge of the massive list of STDs contained in this 1980 Chapman/Idle song. Just ask this insane BBC article.

6. “Money Song” b/w “Accountancy Shanty”

Plenty of Python sketches over the years played on the absurdity of wealth and the trappings that come with it. “Money Song” and “Accountancy Shanty,” penned by Eric Idle and released in 1972 and 1983 respectively, were the musical aspects of that theme, and boy, were they dorky: to even think to single out accountants as comedic targets has got to require a lot of time thinking about the financial sector. And that’s not even taking into account how many dad-joke-level puns are littered throughout “Shanty.”

5. “The Meaning of Life”

4. “Decomposing Composers”

It’s not clear whether the Pythons’ knowledge of classical composers was because they were fans or just highly educated haters, but they certainly spent a lot of time over the years razzing the previous generation’s obsession with the great composers. Many of their songs were direct parodies of famous stuffy pieces, from “Oliver Cromwell” (see below) to “Sit on My Face” (Gracie Fields’ “Sing as We Go”) to the Flying Circus theme song (John Philip Sousa’s “The Liberty Bell,” actually chosen because it was in the public domain), but “Decomposing Composers” took special aim: not only does it remind that Western civilization’s greatest composers are all dead and rotting, it does so by employing “Pachelbel’s Canon in D,” an annoyingly simple melody that has plagued musicians (probably) for centuries. In other words: huge meta-dork song.

3. “Bruces’ Philosophers’ Song”

“Bruces’ Philosophers’ Song” is perhaps the most quintessentially Pythonesque tune the sextet ever recorded: written by Idle and debuted in a 1970 episode of Flying Circus, the song juxtaposes an academic topic usually taken dead-seriously—the canonical Western philosophers—with a band of drunken Australian dudes (all named Bruce), as they meet deep in the bush to discuss said academics. Sure, it’s a mockery, but again, you have to at least be thinking critically about philosophy in order to write a whole bit about how they were all massive alcoholics.

2. “Oliver Cromwell”

Let’s just put it this way: there have been generations of American children over the past 35 years who, for no reason, learned not only the birth and death dates of some statesman from 17th century British history—they knew his entire list of accomplishments as well. The song, set to the tune of Frederic Chopin’s “Heroic Polonaise” by John Cleese in 1969, is like Schoolhouse Rock: History, Ph.D. Edition.

1. “Henry Kissinger”

By far Python’s most political song, this 1987 ode to the American Secretary of State responsible for much of U.S. foreign policy during the ’70s probably sailed past the heads of anybody not of voting age when the politician’s influence was at its peak. It’s still funny to hear Eric Idle compare a dude to “a German parakeet,” but if a Python fan didn’t know Kissinger was super into realpolitik—a policy style that gave him a reputation for being a self-absorbed, unsympathetic schemer—she wouldn’t get the irony of lovestricken verses about “the doctor of my dreams.”