Lex’s work schedule has been switched around because they are assholes. He works for one of the big car companies as a lineman;plus he goes to school. On friday they gave the employees a heads up, that starting on monday there’s a new schedule that has to be followed.

Hes pissed. I’m pissed.

But we both can’t do anything and its his job so we have to go along with this…for now.

He use to work Monday,Friday and Saturday from 5am to 330pm. He keeps his friday and saturday but add Monday and Tuesday from 430pm to 330am. The whole day,gone.

I have a habit of doing really bad shit when he’s away for long periods of the time. When I get bored. So hes not exactly thrilled to be leaving. I’m not sure how I feel right now,but I did tell him I would be blogging,netflix and smoking till I’m able to go to sleep. And that I’m going to be good.

How ridiculous does that sound? I’ll be good I swear. Ugh,thats what happens folks when you fuck around and fuck over your lover.

We only have to work with this Schedule for 6 months maybe 7 ..shit thats a lot..wtf. Wow so this is really draggingg me down and I cant let him see me like this so I’m not going to be thinking about the negative side.

Good news: we pick up the new car within the hour. Soo excited, turns out even more than the boyfriend. Pretty sure he got tired of me saying “guess what,guess what”
“this time monday youll have a new carrr!” (Oprah voice)

For years I’ve celebrated christmas because Idk my mother told me to, now its just a time of season where I get to go home.

I’m not religious (shh dont tell mine or lex’s families), and I dont care what people celebrate,as should be,so I’ve decided to embrace my inner darkness.

Celebrating those naughty people and kidnapping a few along the way.

Of course, by the way, I am going to be celebrating christmas,which I don’t know what that says about me-does it still count if I dont go to church,ever? Is it blasphemy? I mean I do live a life of sin. Ah dilemmas of growing up in a Catholic household.

I leave for back home in less than two weeks. I’m not ready. If someone wants a stranger for christmas, let me know I’ll skip out on my house and the thousands of questions I dont want to answer. I’m already practicing my smiling face and getting my lies in order.

You’re supposed to feel good when you go home, not feel shitty with your disappointing answers. My family really is nice,but they have this standard of me that I can’t live up to and I can already here them “oh,jas” ugh worse two words everrr.

In the bright side, Lex got a new car (2016 chrysler 300) and we get to pick it up monday. On the downside, I have to hear “I got a caaarrr, I got a carr. I’m a man again.” Until monday.

Not just from the blog but from my regular life, things just became a little chaotic.

I didn’t mean to neglect everything but something wasn’t feeling right; I had to figure that out, meaning I had to disconnect from this world.

In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best decision to make seeing that it lead me down a very dark scary path that I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out whole.

Let me go back for a second, I had original started this blog as a means for a class, sort of , 1 part class work 1 part my own curiosity and longing to write; however, my own words were barely coming out of my mouth, I couldn’t find my voice.

I have always been an observer, an admirer. So being on this I thought that i’d not only have that but perhaps a safe place to write.

I openly admit I was scared, I had, have nothing to offer.

which brings me back to my absence.

After deciding to, so to speak, quit “blogging” , I have been on a constant spiral through relationship problems, self esteem issues, school complications and a number of other situations that seem to continue to plague me. The bane of my existence.

I won’t bore you them, maybe in another post, but this one is about how I have come to decide that change is in order.

I have decide to speak up.

I have decided to fight for what I want.

I have decided to live fully.

I need change in my life and the only way that is going to happen is if I make it.

So from this day forward, okay well maybe a couple of days ago, I vow to set forth and overcome any obstacles that get in my way.

The last couple of days have been non-stop school work and we’re only going on the 4th week.

I think some professors just love to see their students in a chaotic mess. I’m currently taking three classes this semester and I can honestly say for the first time in the longest time this is going to be the most difficulty,time consuming, energy wasting semester.

If you don’t already know I am a Journalism major, looking at an English minor AND I’m suppose to be applying for graduation by Friday.

This whole school system and financial aid is all fucked up. Technically I can graduate in April, even without the right amount of credits, as long as I attend in the beginning of summer. OH easyy peasyy right? Nope. somehow this student on full financial aid has to come up with money to attend or else I can’t graduate. They like to think that the “little refund” and whatever is left over can go towards that; however, I highly doubt anybody has anything left ,especially 5 grand that it costs.

Now I’m stuck here trying to figure out if I can even take a minor. If I do I’ll have 3 classes left. But its all about money, money, money. I really want to minor in English but there is no way ill be able to come up with all that money for something I don’t actually need. I’m more worried about my actually degree and the 2 classes I have left for that.

Ugh. Decisions, decisions. I can’t ponder too long, since I only have to the end of the week.

Besides my graduation conundrum, I truly believe the online course I am taking will be the death of me. I ended up jumping into it last minute without fully looking at the details- which in a way turned out to be a big no-no. I thought it would be a business writing course, a general knowledge of writing cover letters, resumes, idk fucking customer replies. Well it turns out its business writing for Public Relations and Advertising. I cant even be fucking mad since I’m a journalism major who wants to go into advertising ! I want to be mad, I do, since they didn’t clarify the course but nope it somehow pertains to me career path.

It always happens that way. I randomly choose classes and through them into a schedule and voila they happen to correlate with one another. I really don’t know how it always works out to my advantage but it does. So yes this fucking online class, that lied is a pain in the ass. I’m learning from it, don’t get me wrong but holy hell for the last three weeks it has been constant work, whether writing in the forums or actually papers. The professor is seriously nuts; pretty much we have to submit something every day because you know its the only class anyone is taking and we have no lives.

She actually had the balls to send us an email saying that its been really crazy lately and she figures we need a break so shes giving us a few hours off . Ohh thank you master for permitting us some free time -_- I don’t think I would mind as much if her webpage was organized appropriately and not a fucking mess. I get a headache trying to find what needs to be done on a page filled with nonsense.

I am also taking a linguistic class because..hmm I can =p its quiiiteee interesting let me tell ya. So far so good but I can tell in the near future I’m going to have to start reading the textbook lol.

Enough of my ranting; I’m pretty sure this is my 100 post.

Yup 100- Man, oh man ! I cant believe I actually posted 100 things. I honestly didn’t think that I would keep it up. But I did.

I got a new computer a couple of days ago ( happy dance) So I will be continue to posts quotes( I know I’ve been slacking) and will probably write more since I actually have a friggin keyboard. What a pain it is trying to write off a smartphone.

I recently had a blog on blogger.com, but its entire purpose was for a class. I hated everything about it; was lookin at different places and came across WordPress, which seems to be the place to go.

In the last couple of months I had decided to start blogging.., about what i have yet to decide. I end up talkin about random things, which seem to be my life. So i ask to bear with me while i find my footing and my way.