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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Heart Moms

15 months ago last week I found out she would die without a transplant.

6 months ago last week she was listed on the UNOS database for a new heart.

3 months ago today Gabriella was given a new lease on life....

THE DAY I BECAME A HEART MOM

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same. They told me that my child was sick. I thought, "am I to blame"? I don't think I can handle this. I am really not that strong. It seemed my heart was breaking. I have loved her for so long. I will not give up on this child. I will listen to your advice. I will give my child any chance. No matter what the price. I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive. I'll even use that feeding tube. My child must survive!

Will she need a lot of therapy? Will she gain the needed weight? Please God, help me do this. I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder. How many parents would love that sound. Tomorrow I will be kinder. As another Angel earns his wings, I run to my child's bed. I watch her sleep for quite a while. I bend down and kiss her head. I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken. I look to You wondering why? Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold her life, and guide us through each day. My mind says savor each moment she's here, but my heart begs, "PLEASE let her stay"!

From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by her bed. From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med. From wondering, "will she be alright?", to watching her reach out her hands. With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line. I look to them and smile. You see MY child is loved so much. I would face ANY trial. That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to her beautiful NEW heart). God must have known how much I'd love her (Just as He loved her from the start).

A heart mom is always a heart mom. Now wise beyond her years. For those who have angels in heaven, our hearts share in all of your tears.

Every day I will try and remember, I was chosen for her (and no other). I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mom".

About Me

Gabriella was diagnosed in April 2009 with a severe and irreparable congenital heart defect, Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. On September 25 2009, just before being listed for her new heart, she suffered a left MCA stroke, impairing her right arm abilities and taking away her speech. She was finally listed and received her heart after 97 days of waiting on May 17, 2010. Gabriellasheart.com has transitioned from a diary of our simple life to a log of Gabriella's status, and proves what a warrior she is.