Mummies Getting (Very) Chummy,Alarming Cetacean Mutation, And More

Our newest shirts for gents are each lovingly illustrated by our talented friend Jon Adams, who, for the purposes of this newsletter, shall also be considered an Egyptologist, a naturalist, and a bit of a weirdo.

WITNESS his King-Smut Pornoglyphic Shirt, which features faithful reproductions of hot n’ heavy hieroglyphs originally commissioned by Smutankhamun, the infamous phornicating pharaoh. Safe for work? Yes, from a distance.

A blushing Jon Adams was able to personally inspect King Smut’s tomb; he reported finding a velvet-lined sarcophagus, mirrored ceilings, and the haunting echo of soft jazz.

AND, IN ADVANCE OF EARTH DAY, we dispatched Jon to the Bawaiian Islands to document the wondrous sea life that has evolved there after decades of intense atomic testing and radioactive-waste dumping.

Anchored off a coral reef created, in part, by a scuttled nuclear submarine, he spent weeks sketching the many unique creatures that call the area home. (Due to vocal-cord mutation, some were literally able to call the area home.)

Working day and night — nocturnal observation aided by the bright green glow of friendly porpoises — Jon produced stunning illustrations of octowalruses, electric manatees, squidolphins, and more!

Speaking Of Earth Day …

Now you can celebrate the world while you wear it, thanks to our new collaboration with the folks at Planet Labs, whose satellites are hard at work snapping amazing photos of our little ol’ Earth. We’ve taken some of our favorite images and turned them into clothing:

Ice-Print Jacket: The print on this lightweight hooded jacket shows off the snow-covered fields and creeks of Portage la Prairie in Manitoba, Canada.

Lake-Print Scarf: Now you can wrap your neck in the geologically unique coastline of Kazakhstan’s Lake Balqash. (Not as difficult as it sounds, we promise.)

Lake-Print Perfect Dress: Under extreme magnification, you may just see a couple of Kazakhstani fishermen looking up in utter disbelief.

Also, Shorts: With ocean levels on the rise, trouser legs will soon be sopping wet. Time to prepare for the veritable Waterworld that awaits us all! Nearly 20 shorts to choose from, including our particularly fluid-friendly mutant trunks (pictured).

Silicon Valley Fashion Week: Tix Now Available!

In the future, leggy supermodels shall be replaced by runway-roving robots and drones. And that future is now. Get tickets and complete info here.