Dear Diary, They're Not Worthy!

This is the kind of post Diarist of the Week was invented for: Ladies and gentlerines, I give you MSU's latest Narduzzi defense, as broken down by colin. If you missed it on the front page yesterday and when Ace linked to it, now is your chance.

The defense he describes is a version of the thing we faced from Ohio State and Virginia Tech last year, a run-sound Cover-4 scheme that is built to beat north-south spread offenses and 4 verts, and weakest against great edge rushers and outside receivers who will always win a 1-on-1 matchup. Short version: Michigan can move the ball by running over an overhyped Gholston, optioning off Marcus Rush, getting a hat on the playside linebacker, and Denard getting by Isaiah Lewis. It's a good defense.

It's also a good institution of higher learning, with a fantastic teaching school, one of the nation's best ag schools, and a packaging program that is not the joke you think that is. In this vein of non-sarcastic appreciation for our worthy in-state rival, turd ferguson offers this panegyric to their football program's unparalleled off-the-field accomplishments since Dantonio arrived:

Other things in the family: Program. Wallpaper. Question: provided we can make it happen, are you guys interested in buying these as posters from the MGoStore?

Weeklies:

Defensive Analysis. If you read just one comprehensive, detailed analysis of Michigan State's defense this week, read colin's. If you read two comprehensive, detailed analyses of Michigan State's defense this week, tune into the more personnel-oriented one by death by trident. Things you may have missed: Darqueze Dennard doesn't show on the stats but is the field and probably the better corner than Adams, and the man Ace called the "best linebacker in the conference" hasn't registered a sack, though he's done everything else. Weird he said that because Ace has Mauti and both Wisconsin guys.

Tea Leaves. Eye of the Tiger checks back in at the midline to see which Star Wars episode this season is turning out to be. So far Michigan has fought its most pivotal battle using Ewoks and a game in South Bend featuring plenty of LANDO! so we're definitely not in Eps IV or V. I submit we use the special editions to specify which games are lost:

Empire Strikes Back, Special Edition: 12-2, win Rose Bowl. Do you remember the part at the beginning when the Wampa ice creature that haunted your childhood nightmares turned out to be a guy in a white bear suit? No you don't. Because Han is frozen in carbonite and could be anywhere in the galaxy and Luke has begun to consider the dark side, and Threepio hasn't said more than "Help, I think I'm melting" in 15 minutes.

Return of the Jedi: Beat MSU and OSU, blow up Death Star, celebrate with teddy bears, then lose to Admiral Chip Kelly in a licensed fan fiction called Star Wars: The Pasadena Affair.

Return of the Jedi, Special Edition: Lose Big Ten Championship to Wisconsin. Would be like defeating the Empire, and then having the ghost of Hayden Christianson show up claiming to be your dad.

A New Hope, Special Edition: Still the epic you remember, but the beginning is now a disaster ruined by Stormtroopers riding dewbacks and a Jawa falling off a Paraceratherium, and ILM family members wandering around in Halloween costumes. Then there's Han shooting first. Along the way there's a point where Borges decides to use the "Han steps on Jabba" scene, and the result is depressingly worse than it should have been.

[After LE JUMP, MGoHalloween costumes, free indoor club seats to two lucky readers, and tinfoil Sparty hats are for realz!]

Best of the Board

WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE WE DELIVERING TO THE KIDS?

This is so snotty arrogant Michigan, why aren't the VARSITY playrs waring the GREEN AND WHITE helmets b/c MICHIGAN STATE OWNS MICHIGAN 4 MOAR YEERS!!! /sparta. It's on both sides of the ball, since that's what the different color (regular practice)jerseys mean. If it means getting the players more amped up for the game we have to win for the sake of the state from lake to shining lake, pro. If it means spitting bird poop at our backups' heads in order to recreate the gameday experience of Ohio State that may be pushing it.

BEST. NAMES. EVAH.

Jackmerius Tachteritrix, Michigan State University

Before he ended his George McFly syndrome by working for a show he's not too smart for, this one writer for Key & Peele had a blog called Alternate 1985. He didn't know an option from a field goal but all three of his fans seemed to constantly digress into the footbawl on his message board. I like to think of this video as our reward, although Southfield-born Key probably came up with it.

Wot it says on the tin. Most deserving bid gets it. My plea: I blog for you like all the time, and I promise to sneak in two Mott children stacked on top of each other inside a large cloak. The one on top will have a mustache so nobody will know it's a kid. Trust me, I've seen this work.

…(it'll be up on the site soon enough) and the blog gets a small share. That goes for like World Series tickets too. We like these guys because they don't tack on lots of fees—you will have to pay shipping usually but otherwise the price it says is the price.

MARRY ME Dorrr..something!

Click: band guy makes big. She said yes, with the stipulation that he puts a roof over her head double-time.

MY WIFE'S FAMILY THINKS I HATE THIS HOLIDAY

Illinois 2009 and Penn State 2010 ruined my two chances to roll the Spartan Jailbird costume at the (MSU-infested) in-laws' annual party. It's MGoTradition: a thread about Michigan-themed Halloween costumes. Party this year is on Saturday night so I need ideas. And a win. Oh Bo in heaven I need a win.

guh

On Woodson's pick, I still get a kick out of the girl on the sideline who comes into view at 59 seconds in with her mouth wide open and her hands on her head. Too funny.

A friend of mine was sitting on the field in that end zone. How she got seats there as a Michigan fan is beyond me, but sitting next to her was State's 1987 Rose Bowl team that was at this game celebrating their ten year anniversary. I'm so happy they had front row seats to Woodson's interception.

"wolverinehistorian, for someone so dedicated and seemingly level headed, his grudges are monumental." ~ triangle_M