Yes, Minister - The Moral Dimension (season 3, episode 4)

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We can't be accused of wasting money? - Absolutely. - We are taking the smallest delegation? - Absolutely. Pared to the bone. - Who are all those people? - Our delegation. - You said it’d been pared to the bone. - So it has. - Who are they? A small delegation from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. - But this is a DAA mission. - Yes, well, we are gong abroad. Foreign policy is at stake. We're gong to ratify a contract for one of the biggest export orders Britain’s ever obtained. That was negotiated by British Electronic Systems. Who are all these civil servants? There's a delegation from Trade and one from industry. There's a group from Energy. We are gong to an oil sheikdom. There's a Deputy Secretary leading a team from the Cabinet Office. There's a group from the Central Office of Information, and there's our DAA team. Press secretaries, private secretaries, liaison secretaries. The legal department who did the contract, those who supervised it. - Pared to the bone? - To the bone. If we'd met in Middlesbrough, we'd have only taken seven people. Well, Teesside is perhaps not quite so diplomatically significant as kumran. - Teesside returns four MPs. - Kumran controls Shell and BP. - What are you doling here? - Purely my sense of duty-free. Duty-free? Er... duty, free from any personal consideration. - Look through this. - What is it? - it’s the final communiquй. - The final? You can't write it before the meeting! On the contrary, you can't write it after the meeting. We had to get agreement from other departments, the EEC, Washington, the kumrani Embassy. You can't do that in the desert. It may bear no relation to what we say. No communiquй ever bears any relation to what you say. - Then why have one? - It gets you past the press corps. The journalists need to justly their huge expenses for a futile non-event. - Non-event? - A brilliant triumph for you, Minister. Which is why it’s a futile non-event for the press. They'd like me to get drunk at the reception. Yes. Not much hope of that. Kumran is dry. Yeah. Well, of course, It is in the middle of the desert. - You mean... Islamic law - Alas, yes. We can get a drink at the British Embassy? Yes. But the reception and the dinner are at the palace. Five hours of orange juice. Five hours? Without a single drinky Why did you let me come on this trip? What are we gong to do? Hip flasks? No, much too risky. We have to grin and bear it. Why don’t we set up a security communications room next door to the reception? You know, emergency telephones, telex lines to Downing Street. Then we could fill it with booze brought in from the Embassy. - Minister! - Liven up the orange juice! That is a.. . stroke of genius! - Could it be done? - Such a room would need a major crisis. Five hours on orange juice Is a major crisis. - The pound is under pressure. - Could you arrange it? If those are your instructions, I can guarantee enthusiastic support. Most awfully generous of you to present me with this very splendid gift. It is a great pleasure to commemorate this day. It's so beautiful! A magnificent example of 17th-century Islamic art. - What was it originally? - A rosewater jar. - I see. For rosewater, presumably? - Quite so. There's an urgent call for you in the communications room. A Mr Haig. General Haig? No, Mr. Haig. You know, with the dlmples. Yes, yes. Do excuse me. Most important.