Thursday, May 20, 2010

Yesterday I took off of work to have a nice relaxing day of shopping with Anthony. Well I didn't just take off to go shopping, that's just what we ended up doing. I was in desperate need of new bras cause as you ladies know, the only bad thing about losing weight is that you lose weight everywhere.

So anyway, with an awesome weigh-in under my belt from earlier that morning, I consciously decided to treat myself today. I started out with a breakfast sandwich made out of sweet bread, ham, bacon, cheese, egg and mayo.... so goooooooddddddddd but so baaaaaaddddddd!! We stopped at Starbucks and I didn't order anything but then lunch time came around. We ate at a local Japanese restaurant where we know the workers.

Knowing the workers = lots of free food

Started out with tempura corned beef hash, fried chicken, and my main course was a nabeyaki udon. It's basically an udon dish with lots of stuff in side like water cress, egg, chicken, shrimp, cabbage, etc. Dessert was an orange dreamsicle shake made from 7-up, orange sherbert and vanilla ice cream. Again so goooooooddddddddd but so baaaaaaddddddd.

Dinner ended up being Chinese food. Fried cake noodle with crispy chicken. One.entire.plate.for.myself.and.one.entire.plate.for.Anthony. Dessert: two servings of ice cream. MAN that's a lot of food! This is the first time since I can remember that I felt like throwing up after.

This morning the scale hates me and says 132... a gain of 4 lbs overnight people! And as I type this, I'm eating these, but that'll be it for today!

Good news

Besides feeling like crap today and having cravings up the ying yang for sugar and salt, this is the first time I'm not regretting it. Yeah, I went a little (just a little) overboard but at the time I knew exactly what I was doing. I already told myself I wasn't going to kick myself in the ass for it so it is what it is.

Will get in a longer session of exercise today and drink LOTS of water to combat the sodium intake. Let's see what happens next week.

And as far as the diet I'm on, just getting back on track and staying there will defenitely bring the weight back down but it probably stalled me a week or so.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

As you can see, my big motivation for not eating that ice cream yesterday was the fact that I broke into the 120's! I haven't been in this decade since my freshmen year in college and even then, I zoomed right through the 120's cause that's when I started gaining weight. It's been totally tough but totally worth it!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wow... remember late last month I said I was taking a break from blogging? Well I've been so amped up with momentum and excitement that I want to blog... like actually make time to do it. Cool...

So yesterday was another tough day food-wise. All my meals were planned out perfectly but then my boyfriend went to Costco by himself. During the middle of the day, I get a text message from him saying:

"Don't get mad please... but I did submit to my urges n bought something I shouldn't have. U will be so disappointed in me. I'm very sorry. :) "

At this point I was freaking out! I thought he had bought a new car or something but that little smilely face at the end of his text tipped me off that it was something evil. So I asked him what he did and come to find out, he bought a 16-pack of Drumstick ice cream cones, another one of my favorites!

I swear he's either trying to keep me fat or he's the best will-power strengthener on the planet!

I laughed so hard cause I thought it was going to be something outrageous. So anyway, yesterday afternoon I made the conscience decision to have one later that night because "I deserved it cause I've been doing so well with the diet"... plus the caramel vanilla cone was literally calling my name through the freezer door. Well let me tell you, once I make up my mind to cheat, it ALWAYS happens. Not always... A.L.W.A.Y.S!!

Or rather it always used to happen!

As of last night, no Drumsticks have been eaten (by me anyway... he had two yesterday)! I was so amazing at how much I was looking forward to having my Drumstick... literally counting down the hours in the afternoon till I could have one after dinner. I almost grabbed one out of the freezer but instead decided to have an early dinner of roasted chicken breast, garlic swiss chard and apple sprinkled with cinnamon. I was so filled and satisfied I completely lost my craving for the ice cream and went from thinking of it minute by minute to not even wanting it!

Yup, I'm strengthening my "no thank you" muscle... working it out!

Well to be honest, another super motivating factor came from my scale. I jumped on it in the afternoon - not my normal weigh-in time - right before I was seriously going to get my cone and what do I see...

... find out tomorrow!

But all I can say is if I was pulling that number during the day... tomorrow morning should be even better, right?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Many, many, MANY emails wondering how I'm dropping the weight recently when I've been stuck since last year. I've responded to everyone with the simple answer of:

Being honest with myself.

As you know, I'm on a pretty strict (and somewhat controversial) diet* till the end of May and this has honestly been the best thing I could have ever done for myself.*Before my inbox gets flooded with emails about what diet I'm doing, know that I'm not going to talk about it until I'm done and the weight stays off for a good month or two so don't expect any word of it until July at the earliest! What I will say about the diet is that it's based on food combining using fruits and veggies and lots of lean proteins, and that so far, it's working wonders!*

Before starting this food combining, my weight was at a stand still since last August and it seemed like every other day I'd be on my blog, bitching about why the weight isn't coming off.

Well to be honest with you, my nutrition was still crazy. As much as I ate healthy, I was still eating out 2 or 3 times a week. Still eating ice cream after dinner 4 - 5 nights a week. Still sneaking in an afternoon snack of cheese and crackers 5 days a week. And I was wondering why I wasn't loosing weight? COME ON! It was so obvious but I kept lying to myself and making up excuses.

Those 5 slices of pizza don't count cause I just came from an hour at the gym.

I can have two servings of ice cream tonight cause I ate perfectly all day long.

My weight's just not moving cause this is what's suppose to happen as you get closer to goal.

Excuse afte excuse after excuse.

It's no wonder I didn't gain weight!

So blame it on the new diet - which can have serious weight-gain repercussions if you go off protocol - or a new source of motivation, but my nutrition is back on track and better than ever! Since the end of April, I've only eaten out twice and one of those times I planned out what I wanted to get and ordered it exactly how I wanted it. I haven't had ice cream in almost a month and banned all sugar in my diet and I don't even crave it anymore. I've cut my portions of everything in half and just eat till I'm full, not stuffed. In fact I'm so motivated, this weekend the boyfriend and I went to Costco and on our way out, Anthony bought one of these:

Normally, I would have gotten one for myself as a 10:30am snack, but not this time. I didn't even take a bite from Anthony's one and that is a huge accomplishment for me! We have a manual car which means when Anthony's driving, I would have to hold the glorious chicken bake all by myself, completely unguarded. Sure I was tempted, in fact I even peeled off part of the crunchy baked-on cheese but threw it out the window instead.

And you know what the best part was? I didn't die after NOT having a bite. I've always pictured myself bursting into flames if I didn't have a little taste (which leads to a few bites) of whatever unhealthy food was sitting in front of me. But let me tell you, that's all a myth people. There is life after saying "no" to your favorite unhealthy food. Try it out cause I really think it can change your mind set. Exercising that "no thank you" brain muscle really makes it stronger over time!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Plates with colored portion sizes! I'm a visual person so this would help me sooo much... almost like a game!! It's something so simple (I could probably creat my own at one of those paint-your-own-pottery places, those are still around right?) but something that could be really effective. The makers of these plates, two Milan designers - that makes it sound even better, right - also want to come out with different size plates depending on the caloric needs of individual people. It would be cool to be able to custom order your own!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Just a super short and quick post cause I finally FINALLY broke the 45lbs.-loss mark... I've been waiting for almost a year for it but I finally did it. The journey's been tough... real tough... and I'm not even close to being done. Last week someone asked me what my goal weight was and although I don't have a certain number I want to reach, I've always had my long-term goal set at 120.

Don't worry, this isn't hitting an anorexic state. Think about it for a bit.
I'm only 5'0".
When I last had my body fat % measured (end of April) I was 138 lbs. and 32% body fat.

32% body fat = 44 lbs. of fat + 94 lbs. of muscle

(correct me if I'm wrong)

So ultimately 32% body fat = still really fat. So aiming for 120 at my height is still kinda far away from being my "ideal" healthy weight, but 120 is the number I would totally be happy to see...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hope everyone had a great Mother's Day! I'm not a mom (unless you count my fur baby, Poki), but my day was spent cleaning, cooking and then going out with my family to Cheesecake Factory. It was fun, delisious, and oh so calorie-laden, BUT this is no pitty post. I went in to dinner with a plan and stuck to it... for the most part.

I looked up Cheesecake's menu earlier in the day and already knew what I was having: grilled mahi with a side of asparagus. I promised myself only two pieces of the bread and three bites of cheesecake. Well I ended up eating three pieces of bread and about half a cheesecake on my own but all in all, it was a major success for me because I actually stuck to ordering what I was suppose to... don't think I've ever done that before! I still came home overly and uncomfortably stuffed which is the next thing I need to work on...

Over the weekend I got an email from a fellow blogger who basically called me stupid. Of course she never used those words, but her email was so eye-opening for me, I told her I must be stupid for not realizing "it" on my own. "It" being the fact that over the last two or three weeks, almost all my posts have been bitching and complaining about how I suck at food choices. How my whole world gets turned upside-down if I eat a handful of M&M's. How I beat myself up to no end if I stray of course and have a bad day. How at the same time all this is happening, the number on the scale has been moving down!!

HELLO! Why didn't I see that? Sometimes it takes an outsider to see the whole picture because we are our own worse critics... glad I had someone to point out that obvious fact!

Friday, May 7, 2010

I hope you all know that I don't write self-pitty posts to get attention or to make everyone feel bad for me. I write them because it's something that happens to me and this is MY journey and MY blog so I'll write whatever the hell I want!

I got an anonymous comment on yesterday's post that said:

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WRITE ABOUT THE CRAPPY THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU? GET OVER IT! IT'S NO WONDER YOUR STILL FAT. YOU DON'T LOSE WEIGHT BY STUFFING YOUR FACE AND THEN CRYING ABOUT IT."

Yeah... so now I'm pissed!

I know a lot of bloggers don't like to write the self-pitty post and I never understood that... I write them all the time (obviously!). My comment to someone who writes about a shitty day and then apologizes about writing about it always goes along the lines of:

"This is your journey and your documentation of something that's not only important to you, but is life changing. Don't let what others think have any effect on how you feel. I use my own blog to chronicle not only my physical health, but emotional as well because that's just as important. Plus, going back and seeing how one bad day affected my entire week is motivating and kinda powerful... so write what you wanna write! It's your journey!"

So to you, Mr. Chicken-shit Anonymous Commenter, get a life and stop crapping on mine. I assume you have the "solution" to perfect health and fitness or you wouldn't be able to say the things you did and if it's true that you are perfect in your journey, then please make yourself un-anonymous because I would really like to meet you and find out what that "solution" is. Seriously... you will be my hero! I'll be waiting for your response in my mailbox...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Seriously.... SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!
I'm so disgusted with myself... not even a great new low weight is enough motivation for me to stick to plan! Right before I wrote this, I literally just finished off some of these:

I'm not even a sweets kinda person but knowing I can't have these makes me want them EVEN MORE!!! Total I had:

a snickers

a handful of M&M's

a chocolate almond truffle

a white chocolate chip cookie

... and I want to go back for more!

Seriously... why is it that if we can't have it,

it makes us want it even more?

Well I guess now's a good time to tell you that when I say "can't have it", I mean can't have it or I blow my entire weight-loss plan right now. Currently I'm on a very strict 30-day nutrition plan that can/will totally back-fire if you stray off protocol and guess what... I just went off protocol. Damn it!

The LHA Challenge is both an exercise challenge as well as a weight-loss challenge but I'm only participating in the exercise part because 1.) I don't have much more to lose so didn't think I'd even have a chance at winning, 2.) I'm still trying not to focus too much on the what the scale says and 3.) with my frozen gym membership for the entire summer, this is the PERFECT challenge to keep me moving with new activities.

LHA Challenge Goals

average of at least 360 minutes of exercise per week = 5760 minutes for the challenge

120 minutes of those 360 must take place outside (come on, it's Hawaii!)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

That right there, bloggies, is history in the making. This is a new low for me cause I've never been able to get under 133 on this journey... in fact, I haven't seen this weight in over 8 years! And I don't think it's a fluke cause I was weighing in the 132 range since this weekend. Could it really be a true new low? Only time will tell!

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Today is also the start of the LHA Challenge so if you haven't signed up yet... DO IT by clicking on the badge above!!! It's a great bunch of people who are all on the same journey to get fitter and healthier.

For our first weigh-in, we need to post a picture of us on our scale so here I am... an all new 132.2 of me: