Hi all,
I am making a short animation film for my final year in college.

I will be happy to hear your advice, comments, ideas, opinions on my animatics and storyboard of my film.
You like the story? hate it? is the ending good?
is the establish ok?....

thing to improve in the story or to cut out or to add....
feel free to tell me what would you have done instead.

I also got a little animation test and also morph targets photos there.

Looking forward to hear from you :)

my site:

http://www.angelfire.com/film/o26ren/

http://www.community3d.com/galleries/images/gallery-645.jpg

BASSit

02-26-2002, 07:17 PM

Wow, i am impressed... but i donīt think itīs a good idea to spill all the beans out ! You told us the whole story ! I wouldnīt release the whole storyboard ! Just some short scenes !!!

I think you have a lot of work to do to make it pefect - iīve found a lot of intersecting objects in this test-clip. But i really wanna see the final movie... also if i know the end already ;)

Keep it goinī

Oren Ben-Tov

02-26-2002, 11:01 PM

Thanks BASSit...
your right maybe I should take the end off...
this way people can think of the end they would do...
and will be more anticipated to see it. ( so dont tell anyone :), but I am sure that till the end of the year the script will change alot)

I wanted to share my work progress with as many people as I could... to realy make this film perfect as much as I can.

So I took the end for now.

would love to hear your ideas for the end.

Gilgamesh

02-26-2002, 11:31 PM

Thats a lot of morph targets. Your stuff looks prett cool.

ACFred

02-26-2002, 11:40 PM

It's kinda tough to critique a story if we don't know the ending. I'd recommend putting the end of your storyboard back up on your site if you want critiques. It's not as if this is going to be a theatrical release. If the story is compelling and the execution is quality, we'll watch it whether we know the ending or not.

Alec

Oren Ben-Tov

02-27-2002, 12:32 AM

I dont know Alec... your right that people will watch the movie even if they know the end, if its good.

I thought what would I have felt if some one told me the end of Geris game or For the birds( not that I am compering , YET :) ) before Ive seen it. Its not that it wouldent make it worth watching them a 100 times, but it just would have ruin the suprise for the first time.

In my movie I want to keep the audience tention untill the end - if he will get the girl in the end or not.

Do i make any sense?

The end is the most finish part of my script, the middle is the part that i need help with ( how the cleaner trying to get her attention, and the realationship between them).
Im thinking taking the daydream scene out.

The end is now showing in the animatics movie - for those who want to see how it fit the story line.

(plz critique only the story, not the props, color, modeling, intersecting objects cuz they are primary for the animatics only)

Oren Ben-Tov

02-27-2002, 05:49 AM

200 people and just 3 replies?

Kinetix

03-02-2002, 10:07 PM

DAMN......... I like it ;)

Flynn

03-02-2002, 10:54 PM

that is a fun character..and I also would need to see the end of the story for crit...but from what I saw it looks pretty good.

Oren Ben-Tov

03-03-2002, 03:08 PM

I made some face morph movie test

http://www.angelfire.com/film/o26ren/movies/animtests.html

tell me what you think :)

Daxx

03-07-2002, 09:15 PM

:p

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