The Obamas hosted their last state dinner in the White House last night and their guest of honor was Italy’s Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and his wife Agnese Landini, so they went full Italian and delivered the best of Italy! Guests were served authentic Italian dishes from the Olive Garden, entertainment was provided by world-renowned Hungarian-Italian superstar Ciccolina and both President Obama and Michelle Obama wore ensembles from celebrated Italian designer Z. Cavaricci. I made all that up. Like the White House party planners have taste!

Michelle Obama wore a $12,000 Atelier Versace gown. Or as dancer/skilled linguist Nomi Malone pronounces it, “Ate-lee-urr Ver-sayce.” Unless Michelle Obama has worn a Dollywood t-shirt with Spandex biker shorts before, this opulent Versace gown may be the best thing she’s ever worn. It gets an all-out YES from me, because it’s sparkly and it looks like something Alexis Carrington would wear to steal your man and take over your company at the same time.

Guests at the Obamas’ final state dinner includedRachael Ray (???), John Turturro, Frank Ocean, Chance the Rapper, Jerry Seinfeld, Mario Andretti, Giorgio Armani, Roberto Benigni, Gayle King, Tamron Hall, Savannah Guthrie, the First Lady of New York Sandra Lee and a bunch of boring politician types. Mario Batali and his CROCs of doom were partly responsible for the food and that’s just weird to me. Why get Mario Batali to do the food when they could’ve easily gotten Sandra Lee instead? PM Renzi would’ve been taken back to his Italian childhood after getting a taste of Sandra Lee’s Minute Rice risotto and baked Easy Mac covered with Chef Boyardee meat sauce.

“The tiramisu was absolutely delicious going in, and I hope it’s just as delicious going out, because this sappiness is making me want to yack.” – pretty much everyone while watching Gwen & Blake’s duet.

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