Begging and pleading for Shorty Awards votes is hurting me more than it’s hurting you. Which might be hard to believe since the constant drumbeat of my humblepimping has made you want to block/unfriend/unfollow me since it started. I KNOW AND I APOLOGIZE. But I must place.

I only need 30 votes — 30!! — to get into the Top 6 and safely stay there. (Actually, I only need 5 to get into the top 6 — I’m #7 right now — such complicated math!! — but THAT PIGEON GUY will just jump over me again unless I have a good margin.) So I’m down on all fours asking those who have not yet voted for me in the #humor category — and provided a reason — because the uber-complicated Shorty system requires you give a reason!! — to do so now. Tell your friends. Beg them to vote. And maybe — just maybe — I’ll get into the top 6 and have a chance at a Shorty Award which would be a huge thing for me.

My gratitude to all my friends who have voted and who have endured my endless begging-blitzes knows no bounds. Especially now, when I’ve needed a distraction from real life. Please know that I’m a huge believer in PIMPING IT FORWARD. And so, whether I win or lose, I will ALWAYS PIMP FOR YOU, NO MATTER WHAT.

OK, it’s That Time of Year again! By which I mean, Shorty Awards time! By which I mean, VOTE FOR ME IN THE VIDEOBLOGGER CATEGORY! You must have a Twitter account to vote. By which I mean, JOIN TWITTER IF YOU HAVE TO SO YOU CAN VOTE FOR ME! You only have to vote once! Please! Thank you! Spread the word! And sorry for the vote-whoring and pimping!!