By Jelaila
Starr5/16/02

Losing
weight is a funny thing and a great mystery to so many of us. What makes us
lose weight? What makes us gain weight? It seems that there are as many
answers and there are people. Throughout this article I wish to share with
you a perspective that has allowed me to lose weight and a bit of the journey
that led me to it. It’s multidimensional so be prepared to have a few beliefs
shattered as that seems to be the case when we step outside the “box” and look
at things from a higher perspective or “bigger picture.” But, as always, use
discernment and if anything I write doesn’t resonate for you please feel free
to toss it.

For most
of my life I was one of those fortunate people who didn’t have to be concerned
with my weight. I could eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast and not gain an
ounce. This changed once I embarked on the Spiritual Path in 1994. At first
it was just a 3-5 pound fluctuation but then it increased once I got serious
about spiritual growth and in 1996 began conscious emotional clearing in order
to ascend. A couple of years later I met and married my lifemate Jonathan.
From that point on the weight increased until I had gained nearly 30 pounds.
For me this was tragic as it triggered all my childhood fears of being scorned
and ridiculed as my mother had been. I tried dieting using a high protein/low
carbohydrate diet, the water diet where you drink half your weight in ounces
of water each day and a few others. Each time I lost a few pounds but quickly
regained them once I got off the diet.

I tried
exercising but within a couple of days would pull a muscle. I tried yoga
doing 90 minutes of Bikram’s yoga in a 105 degree room for 90 minutes 4 times
a week. The first time I walked into the studio and felt the intense heat I
thought, “Oh my god, I must be insane! The weight isn’t worth this kind of
abuse.” Yet I persevered and it helped more than anything and really toned my
muscles, but I found I just couldn’t keep it up 4 times a week. I wasn’t
emotionally ready for it. Each thing I tried helped a little but once I
stopped it the weight returned.

I
consulted my guides several times over the years about this issue and each
time they would say that weight has nothing to do with what I ate and
everything to do with my emotions. “Okay,” I asked myself, “What does that
mean?” They have a penchant for giving me a higher dimensional answer and
then watching as I work to figure it out. Sometimes I think they enjoy it too
much. Anyway, using the multidimensional principles they had taught me I
theorized that it meant that I must find value in the additional fat since one
of their primary principles was that “everything has a value.” So, the fat was
there to protect me in some way, and therefore, protection was its value. I
wrote an article titled, “The Value of Being Overweight” based on this
finding. That helped but it didn’t completely solve my current weight problem
so I continued my search to find a way to lose it now.

During
another request for guidance they told me in answer to my question about how
to lose weight that I had to love this fat and once I did the weight would
come off. To this I replied, “Are you insane? Have you lost your minds or do
you even have one to lose? That has to be the most ridiculous thing you could
have ever said! How can you expect anyone to love being fat?” Yes, I was a
bit upset. But once again, using the multidimensional principles they had
taught me I set about learning to love my 30 lbs. of fat. “Oh how exciting!”,
I thought to myself. “They might as well have said, ‘learn to love shoveling
dog s—t.’” This one was so hard for me that I gave up several times before
finally getting it. They had taught me that love, real love--not the
co-dependent version, is a feeling that we express through our behavior. It
is comprised of 4 components, Trust, Kindness, Allowing and Acceptance. So,
if I loved my fat, I would express this feeling by:

trusting that my Soul and Inner Child knew that having it was in my best
interest,

accepting that it has a value and that value is protection,

allowing it to be there and not trying to get rid of it because it was of
great value,

and
showing my body kindness by buying it nice, expensive clothes 3 sizes bigger
than before with the intent that I would be this size for as long as need
be.

Allowing
and kindness were the hardest because they went against everything I had been
taught about being fat. So learning to love my fat was a harder job than I
imagined and it took me a couple of years to achieve, but I finally got there
using the multidimensional principles. Finally I relaxed, ate sensibly,
dressed better and quit obsessing over my weight. A miracle indeed! And the
weight remained.

During
this time we went through a major shift in our lives moving from Los Angeles
back to Kansas City in early 2001. Soon after, I was given another clue in
solving the mystery of weight loss. I had known for some time that the
Ego/Inner Child played a role in my weight gain but I did not know exactly
how. My guides had taught me the multidimensional perspective on the
Ego/Inner Child and explained that the Ego was the same as the Inner Child,
and that once we realized this, we would experience self-love since self-love
is the experience of caring for the Ego/Inner Child. And yes, I wrote an
article about that too. It’s titled, “Are the Inner Child and the Ego the
Same?” Yep, they give ‘em to me and I write ‘em up. That’s my job.

They also
explained that the Ego/Inner Child (or Ego/IC for short) sees him/herself as
our physical body. This was a big one! That meant that every time I looked in
the mirror at my plump little body and felt disgust, my Ego/IC experienced
that feeling as me being disgusted with her. They also taught me that the
Ego/Inner Child’s sole purpose is survival in the moment at all costs.
That meant that each time I felt disgusted about my weight, my little Ego/IC
would take action and do something that would make me feel better in that
moment so that I would love her again. That translated as eating potato
chips or some other form of comfort food. So the more I felt disgusted the
more I was impulsed by my Ego/IC to eat to find comfort. What a vicious
cycle! Because the Ego/Inner Child lives in the moment, the impulse to eat
comes right on the heels of my thoughts of disgust!

The final
piece of the weight loss puzzle fell into place several months ago after my
hysterectomy and subsequent introduction into Natural Hormone Replacement
Therapy. Though getting on natural hormones released me from the debilitating
effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which I had had for several years as a
result of moving through emotional clearing too quickly, it was not the final
answer to losing weight. Once again, the final piece involved the Ego/Inner
Child. This time it was about energy reserves and for the first time this
piece did not come from my guides. I discovered it as part of the natural
process of learning to think multidimensionally.

I had
written an article, “Facing the Fear of Success,” about the fear of success
and using the Energy Account method that my guides had taught me but, I didn’t
realize it could also be applied to losing weight. In that article I
discussed energy expenditure as it applied to the Ego/Inner Child. The
Ego/Inner Child needs a certain amount of energy each day to keep the body
alive and functioning properly. When we expend too much energy on a daily
basis we deplete those levels beyond the critical point. When that happens
the Ego/IC goes into what I call maternity mode. In maternity mode the IC
treats this excessive expenditure of energy as it would a pregnancy. When
women get pregnant they begin to gain weight as a protection against
starvation. The Ego/Inner Child feels it is being starved because too much of
his/her energy is being given away to others. Usually we do this because we
fear that if we don’t give away this energy by “being for them” in some way,
we will not be loved and accepted by those to whom we are giving it. When we
give this level of energy we are usually co-dependent and are in some way
emotionally and/or physically rescuing (caretaking) someone. The Ego/Inner
Child sees each of these individuals as babies that we are feeding. In other
words, the more people you caretake the more babies you have in the eyes of
your Ego/Inner Child. In this caretaking consciousness or mentality the IC
will take about 90% of every morsel you put in your mouth and store it as
fat. When you go beyond your energetic limits, the Ego/IC will pull from
these storage areas to give you the energy you want to use for others so that
you can survive and so that you will still love him/her. By the way, this goes
for men as well as women. The Ego/IC sees no difference between male and
female and feeding babies or expending energy. This also ties into
over-working or failure to delegate.

I had to
take a good hard look at myself to see where I was still caretaking. Now
those of you who have read my books know that I consider myself the queen of
caretakers. No one can rescue others better than me! *chuckle* I quickly came
up with a list of people I was still caretaking in one way or another along
with several areas of my work where I desperately needed to delegate tasks and
responsibilities to others. Before I go any further let me explain what I
mean by caretaking. Caretaking in this context means doing for others
something that they can and should do for themselves. Another word for it is
enabling. Boy, learning how to not take another’s power by rescuing them is a
hard lesson for me. I was a mother from the age of 6 having to take care of
my younger brothers. I learned early that my parents’ acceptance of me hinged
on my ability to keep my younger brothers clean, safe and out of their hair.
The better I did this the more they approved of me. So love and acceptance
were tied to motherhood for me.

Learning
to undo this belief had been a long and difficult journey. I had to sit down
and use another method my guides taught me. I call it “The
Rights/Needs/Limits Method.” In order to stop caretaking/enabling I had to get
clear about what my rights as a human, a mother and a woman were, what my
needs were based on those rights and what my limits were based on those
needs. I got out 3 sheets of paper and drew a line down the middle of each.
On the left side of the first sheet I wrote, “What are my rights?” On the
other side I wrote, “What rights are not being honored?” On the second sheet
I wrote, “What are my needs and what needs are not being met?” On the third
sheet I wrote, “What are my limits and what limits are not being kept?” This
was a real eye-opener but more importantly, it enabled me to identify where I
still gave away my energy to others in order to be loved and accepted. Without
this step I could not begin to really take care of my Ego/Inner Child because
I didn’t know where or how I was leaking energy so to speak.
Doing this exercise helped me pinpoint where and how. What a nifty gift from
the guides! It almost made up for that Love answer. *grin*

Once I got
clear on where I was still caretaking and then took the step to set limits, I
went on to the final step of making agreements. Agreements, as I have learned
are how we tell others what our needs and limits are so that they don’t become
hidden expectations. I’ve made them with my Ego/Inner Child, my husband, my
daughter, my friends, my clients and business associates. Having the
agreements enabled me to honor my energetic limits and gain the support of
others in doing so. As I continued to do this I noticed that my body began to
respond and drop the additional pounds of fat. To date I am down to a size 8
from a size 12. I haven’t exercised in a month due to a broken exercise bike
waiting to be repaired, and have been eating junk food most every night
without gaining an ounce. So I guess the guides were right, it isn’t about
what you eat, it’s about your emotions and how you energetically handle those
emotions.

I’ll
continue to exercise and try to eat right but I realize my weight loss or gain
will not be affected much by either. There’s more to this story, more little
details that make it all make even more sense but this article is already long
enough so I’ll save those for an audio tape.

I hope
this article provides some measure of insight, inspiration and relief to all
those who are currently overweight. Loving your Ego/Inner Child…really loving
him or her will bring you greater rewards than all the diets, diet pills and
hours spent in the gym than you can imagine. For me, discovering this
multidimensional knowledge about the Ego/Inner Child was not just a solution
to my weight problem, it was another avenue to feeling self–love and
therefore, ascension, and isn’t that what we all want?

About
Jelaila StarrJelaila Starr is a messenger from the Galactic Federation’s Nibiruan
Council. She is a channel, teacher and author of
We are the Nibiruans
and
Bridge of Reunion.Through
her lectures, workshops, and widely published articles, Jelaila's message has
touched the hearts of people around the globe providing hope, inspiration, and
understanding.
As a psychic/intuitive counselor, Jelaila works with individuals to assist
them with emotional clearing, healing relationships, and DNA Recoding.
Jelaila's unique approach enables her clients to clearly discover who they
are, what they came to do and how to achieve it. Jelaila can be reached at
(816) 444-4364. Email:
Jelaila@NibiruanCouncil.com
- Website:
www.nibiruancouncil.com

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