Friday, January 25, 2008

In the context of the pending elections and in-your-face politics, I am reposting an article about a mock scientific discovery. I hope it will give you a laugh.

Heaviest Element Recently Discovered---Governmentium

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gu) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy assistant neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons.

This characterization of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalylized with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium--an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

I just finished reading a book by Lewis Perdue and am reminded of the characteristics that make him one of my favorite authors.

His imagination and words create people, places and plots with precision and clarity. At the same time, he constructs a novel that is both thrilling and chilling as you are forced to realize "My God! This could really happen!"

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I took this picture when we were in Paris a few years ago. I was fascinated by the workers in the distinctive green uniforms and learned that these workers were assigned a street area and they spent the day sweeping the walks in in their area. I thought it was a great idea that should be exported to our country where it would help on two fronts: 1) it would provide jobs for the unskilled workers who complained about not being able to find work and 2) it would help clean up our dirty cities.

When I came upon the photo again tonight, I remembered my earlier musings and then I immediately thought "No. Americans would not take such menial jobs." And for some reason, illegal aliens came to mind. Their defenders tell us that they are performing the jobs that Americans will not do.