If you plant a tomato seed, would you grow a apple tree?
No. But I want to show you how to plant a Bible and grow a
church, not a bible church, but a church with many
divisions, sects, false religion, and false
teachings. No church started off with the idea of
not wanting to be the saved. They went there over time.
Apathy, disregard for evangelism, doing the same old
things that result in the same old nothing, lack of Bible
knowledge and a general belief that man's way is better
than God's way gave the false teacher the soil to plant
their teachings and grow the unscriptural churches. Their
ways are simple. Let me teach you how to be one too.

They teach "Give at the Office."

Matthew 25:35 for* I was hungry and you* gave me
food to eat; I was thirsty and you* gave me a drink; I was
a stranger and you* brought me in; 36 naked and you*
dressed me; I was sick and you* visited me; I was in
prison and you* came to me.

False teacher want-to-be we have to make sure they do not
give one single penny to anyone or anything outside of
that pot that gets passed around Sunday morning. Remember

False Teacher want-to-be we are going to be The Someone,
we are going to be praised by Christians, we are going to
have control over the money and direct it all to us or our
false projects.

NEVER, for sure, under any circumstances, let anyone give
$10 a year to the Christian
Library Online!! False Teacher want-to-be, we
never want to preach the truth only what makes us Great in
the eyes of the church and of course, rich.

They play on the unlearned, the unskilled and the
weak.

Acts 20:30 "and from among yourselves [the
Overseers or Elders], men will arise, speaking perverse
things, to draw away the disciples after them. "

2 Timothy 3:6 "... out of these [false teachers] are
those who sneak into houses and bring immature women
piled up with sins into captivity, led away by various
lusts, 3:7 always learning and never able to come to the
knowledge of the truth. "

To be a good false teacher you have to be in a place
where people don't have the attitude of "what does the
bible say..." or have little knowledge of even the basic
first principles of Jesus' kingdom.

They teach "the bible doesn't say not
too."

Don't add to or take away from his word or
commandments. Revelation 22:18 "I testify with everyone
who hears with understanding the words of the
prophesy of this book, if anyone adds to them, God will
add to him the wounds which are written in this book:
22:19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book
of this prophesy, God will take away his part from the
tree of life and out of the holy city, which are written
in this book."

The communion would be so much better with jelly don't
you think? Adding the denominational headquarters is
little in comparison, or the fellowship building.

They generalize commands that are specific.

Sing is very specific. Adding in musical
instruments and a choir is not in the word "sing." False
teacher want-to-be always use "it is expedient" "it is
better than..." God's word might allow a song book to
complete "all things in order" and to fulfill the command
to "sing." But you have to remember to teach that all
"gray areas" are safe. Then once they have accepted gray
as okay; peach is not hard at all to swallow, maybe a
purple fellowship hall? Rock band... Yea!

They teach "it's a good work."

Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, Lord,
Lord, will enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he who practices
the will of my Father who is in heaven. 7:22 Many
will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not
prophesy in your name and in your name cast out demons and
in your name do many miracles? 7:23 And then I will
confess to them, I never knew you: withdraw from me, you
who work lawlessness. "

Now, of course, heaven is not your goal, praise from
men, exaltation and profit is!

They teach "that's just your opinion."

John 14:15 "If you love me [Jesus], you will
keep my commandments. "

Love is overrated. The church is supposed to be known
by it, we can see that's not true. Love Jesus,
why? "Everyone who believes in Jesus will go to
heaven." Remember this false teacher want-to-be.

They teach "it's what's in your heart that
counts."

In the New Testament, the word "obey" or
"obedience" is in there over 80 times. To be a good false
teacher concentrate on the word "believe" or "feel".
(Because in English as opposed to the Bible "believe"
believe does not mean in any way mean "obey." "Feel" in
not in the Bible in reference to God or the church
anywhere.) Stay away from "know" or "knowledge" which are
used over 1500 times. "You feel saved." NEVER NEVER "You
know you are saved. Mark 16:16"

They quote men not God.

A good false teacher always promotes some man,
after all, don't you want to be promoted? One of the best
lines is to say "My teacher at the ... School of Preaching
or at ... College use to say..." Excellent! You gave
credit to your false teaching, kept opponents from the
Bible and taught them authority in Man all in one
sentence. Do a good job and they might quote you more in
Lectureship books and at seminars than Jesus Christ, too.
Remember to always strut around like a rooster when you
are with your fellow false teachers.

They take scriptures out of context.

We can all be saved with Romans 10:9 "that if
you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in
your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be
saved:" & Acts 16:30 "...what must I do to be
saved? 16:31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus and
you will be saved, you and your house. "

As a good false teacher NEVER let them read the verses
around the scriptures that you quote. NEVER encourage
them to take notes. NEVER have them read the New
Testament. The last thing you want them to do is read
Romans 10:10 "for with the heart man believes to
righteousness, and with the mouth confesses toward
salvation" or Acts 16:33 "And he, having taken them in
that same hour of the night, bathed their stripes, and
was immersed instantly, he and all his household." (That
is repentance and baptism! Absolute NO NO's false
teacher want-to-be.)

They do not want to discuss the subject at
hand, but lead you elsewhere.

Always learn to avoid confrontation. Remember
the best way to destroy a correct view is to attack the
person. No one is sinless, you understand that well false
teacher want-to-be. "Do you still have that problem with
lying, brother?" "I saw how you looked at ..." "You have a
connection to the Internet!" (After all anyone who has
watched TV knows it is far worst than the Internet!)
Whenever possible take pieces of their lives out of
context like you would scriptures. "You used to spend a
lot of time over at widow .... house." (It takes time to
mow the grass.) Remember this is your number one defense
against opponents, use it well, my false-teacher
want-to-be.

They take scriptures written to individuals
and quote them as binding on the church.

James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before
our God and Father is this: to visit the orphans and
widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained
from the world."

But as a good false teacher you can quote this as
grounds to support that orphanage, remove personal
responsibility. Remember to read in extra words like
"visit" means "help" then "help" would be "money."
You lead them like sheep to the slaughter false teacher
want-to-be.

They take scriptures written to Christians
and apply them to the unsaved.

1 John 1:6-9

They misdirect scriptures.

2 Timothy 2:2 "And the things which you have
heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to
faithful men, who will be able to teach others
also."

Paul telling Timothy to teach others, who then would
teach others in the same way. But you, a false teacher
want-to-be, can twist this to be grounds for Schools of
Preaching or a Missionary Society, put yourself there
and make $40,000 a year for a cake job, build yourself a
nice office, travel around the country asking for more
money, talking about all those great things you all have
done (actually for yourself and friends). Others are to
teach others also, isn't that what Paul said?

They pick and choose commandments from the
Old Testament.

You have to give 10% of everything you make to
the church. After all we need the money to build our new
$5,000,000 building complete with swimming pool and tennis
courts. Let's not forget our new theater, too. After all
false teacher want-to-be, if we entertain them, they come
back more often, give more money and best of all they stay
away from the Bible!

They teach people to use non-literal
translations of the Bible.

With non-literal translations like the NIV, New
Living, New Revised Standard versions you can get people
to not put much faith in the Word of God. In these
translations they have contradictions and just take away
the harshness and exactness of God's commandments and
eternal punishment. As you get them further from the Bible
the closer you get them to you, false teacher want-to-be.

They claim the Bible was written for a time.
The Bible needs to grow as mankind grows.

Jude 3 "I had a necessity to write to you,
encouraging you to contend for the faith which was
delivered once for all to the saints."

Women are good allies, after all the Bible doesn't
allow them to teach, pray or have the oversight of a
man. Since they have no power, give them some, but only
a little or they will run right over you like the men's
business meeting.

They don't apply all the scriptures on a
subject, but use "their favorites."

2 Peter 3:15 "...always be ready to make a
defense to everyone who is asking you a reason concerning
the hope which is in you, yet with meekness and
fear:"

As a good false teacher remember to quote only a few
good scriptures to support your false view. If you quote
too many scriptures they might follow you in ways you
don't want.

They take symbolic or figurative language
or examples and make them literal.

Revelation 20:4 And I saw thrones and they sat
upon them and judgment was given to them and I saw the
lives of those who had been beheaded because of the
testimony of Jesus and because of the word of God and
those who did not worship the beast, nor his image and did
not receive the mark upon their forehead and upon their
hand, and they lived and reigned with Christ the thousand
years. 20:5 The rest of the dead did not live until the
thousand years might be finished. This is the first
resurrection.

Don't worry, we have a thousand years for a second
chance so indulge, get lazy, don't talk about Jesus to
your friends. Great idea false teacher want-to-be,
right?

They reject authority and authority of the
scriptures.

Teach a brotherhood or denomination of
Christians and a universal church. Give authority to
everyone but the Eldership. Write creed books or set
policies for your little denomination in Christian
magazines, brand everyone who disagrees with your creed.
NEVER tell them to do Bible things in Bible ways. We want
great things for you False teacher want-to-be, destroy the
automony of the church and you can then be a BIG FISH in
the BIG SEA!

They are in the Grandfather Clause because
of something great years ago.

False teacher want-to-be to secure your job in
the church forever, do something great once (speak on TV,
address some major false teaching (even if you agree with
it) at a big respected Lectureship or College). Once you
have this under your belt, no one will ever accuse you of
error, because after all you "made a stand against... in
1981." People change, but church greats can be hypocrites
forever!

They put themselves in places to be seen
by men.

Lectureships, Colleges, Missionary Societies or
Preaching Schools, regional offices, Christian Only
Magazines. Keep up with the Pharisees of the church, help
them out, ask them for permission whenever possible,
remove any autonomy your congregation has by being
involved with the big boys and other congregations and by
allowing them to pick your preachers, who you support, who
you fellowship, how you worship God. One day they will
exalt you to "Godhood Status" too, false teacher
want-to-be.

They talk about the "ills of the church"
while promoting their false ways.

Everything is not worship and brother ... is
wrong. But you all remember we need to raise more money
for our 1.1 million dollar library to help our students
[20-30 at most]; We need that money to build our $510,000
fellowship hall for the 15 students and make them poor
little churches pay for it.

As a good false teacher always find something to get
them mad about, while sneaking in what you really want.
A mob will do about anything. They killed Jesus, didn't
they?

They give Christians a way out of personal
responsibilities:

Build a grade school, a high school and college
(with your name on it of course). These will relieve the
parents from teaching their children the right ways of God
or even to be a good example.

Build a school of preaching to relieve the individual
of the "teaching others also."

Build a church relief organization to take care of
benevolence for them. It might actually hurt them to
give money above the church's weekly allowance to some
scriptural work. But they have no problems with
unscriptural ones.

Build a fellowship hall so they won't feel so bad that
they did not open thier bibles once during the week or
associate with any other Christians the whole week. It's
hard to love someone if you don't know them.

Build a missionary society so they don't have to
"preach the word when convient or not convient."

Build an old folks home and an orphanage so they can
stay home and watch TV, instead of helping the weak.

Build great beautiful buildings and spent all the
Lord's money that should have gone to evangelism. You
have to conquer them first before you make converts
(that is, clones of them).

These are great false teachings for you to pursue. I
have such great hope, you too will help pave the road to
hell with their good intensions, false teacher
want-to-be.

They say, "It's only money."

2 John 8 "Look to yourselves, that you do not
destroy the things which we have worked in you, but that
we may receive a full reward. 9 Everyone who transgresses
and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not
have God: he who abides in the teaching, this one has both
the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to you* and
does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into
your* house and give him no greeting: 11 for* he who gives
him greeting is sharing in his evil works. "

We are not even suppose to say hello to a false
teacher, but money isn't in those passages, is it?
Giving money isn't fellowship. Get the general idea
false teacher want-to-be?

Once you get them to this point, start a fund for "I am
a False Teacher Inc." and let all those good erring
Christians support you. (After all, Christians have no
problem spending the Lord's money on organizations, even
some "Christian" ones, but would never give you a dime
directly to do evangelism work. I've seen this first
hand.)