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Christmas 2017

Perhaps you’re a harassed mum, an organised grandmother or a couple in love.

In no particular order and with a cheeky smile, we list 11 different types of Christmas shoppers you might encounter in Croydon – perhaps you can add more to our list!

1. The harassed mum

She’s the one frantically searching Argos, The Entertainer and Toys R Us for that must-have toy her four-year-old has just declared he really, really wants, having been seduced by an advert on Tiny Pop.

But she’s probably too late – Christmas has suddenly sprung up upon her thanks to the new born baby in her pram. And she knows come December 26 her house will be filled with more brightly coloured pieces of plastic than will ever be played with. The baby is crying – you’ll find her later with a furrowed brow in M&S café.

The Whitgift Centre was opened in stages between 1968 and 1970 (Image: Grant Melton)

2. The confused uncle

He’s the worried-looking man standing in the middle of Entertainer on his mobile phone talking to his sister while out on his lunch break. He has no idea what six-year-old nieces want for Christmas these days.

Num Noms? What on earth are they? What are Shopkins? How much? For those funny little things? Trust her, she will love them. Yes, one or two will be lost down the back of the sofa by Boxing Day but she will carry them around with her in her pocket like little pieces of treasure until her little brother swipes them.

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3. The big-kid dad

His first-born son might only be two but surely he will love watching dad play on a Scalextric racing car set? Meanwhile, mum is trying to tell him their little boy will just destroy it in a matter of minutes.

So the pair of them stand in front of the VTech and LeapFrog toys in Toys R Us amusing themselves by pressing all the buttons of the little electrical toys until they realise it’s time to relieve gran of her babysitting duties.

4. The loved-up young couple

You’ll spot the pair of them gazing in the window of H Samuel with their arms around one another. She’s got her eye on a sparkly diamond ring. He’s looking in the direction of the smart watches.

She did mention she might like a Fit Bit but he worries if he bought her one, she would think he was trying to tell her something.

5. The newly-wed

They are queuing up in Pandora. The lucky woman in his life looks like she might be getting something sparkly this Christmas.

She had better make the most of it – there’s a baby on the way and next year’s Christmas budget will probably be spent on filling the house with brightly coloured plastic and toys far too big for the living room.

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6. The organised grandmother

You won’t see her out Christmas shopping in Croydon any more. Oh no, she finished before October was even over.

Yes, she was the woman who was collecting armfuls of toys from Argos (and had remembered to bring her shopping bags from home with her too), had bought plenty of stocking fillers in Tiger, never runs out of wrapping paper at 9pm on Christmas Eve, posted all her cards second class early December and is now at home icing the family Christmas cake and baking a few more mince pies – just in case.

Elves welcomed children to Centrales grotto last year and will return again (Image: Keith Meatheringham/Dobson Agency)

7. The Christmas card fanatic

This is the person in Card Factory who just will not budge from in front of the ‘To Mum’ Christmas cards. You spend most your lunch break trying to dodge round her.

She then eventually moves on to buy dad, granddad, nan, uncle, aunt, cousin, goddaughter, son, and daughter. She’s probably been in here half an hour – as have you.

She might have a friend who she nudges every now and then to read out the amusing wording in a card. She dropped one of her cards but you don’t feel like picking it up because your too busy trying to negotiate your way around all the other customers frantically buying cards at short notice.

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8. The stressed dad

He’s been left in charge of the kids while mum dashes of to make some final purchases. They kids have been to see Santa in his grotto in Centrale, and now they are bored and hungry.

They want to go to Entertainer again.

No, they want to go to Kidspace. Pleeeese.

9. The savvy sixth form lads

Think they’re not bothering with the Christmas shopping as they sit around in McDonalds tapping away on their phones?

Not at all – these boys are clever.

They are making the most of wi-fi and doing some last minute shopping online while they tuck into a burger. Not for them queues and cold.

Ok, if they have left it this late there is a chance mum’s present might not arrive but they seem to know what they are doing.

10. The Secret Santa shopper

You know how the game goes – the designated social secretary in the office has decided it would be really fun if each person pulls a name out the hat for whom they must anonymously buy a present for at a set price.

It’s 24 hours before gift -giving time and the poor intern has the challenge of buying a present for John in accounts.

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Is a bottle of wine a cop-out? Perhaps he would like an 80s compilation album. Didn’t someone once say he was a Star Wars fanatic?

You will see the gift-giver pondering between red or white in Tesco, scanning the books in The Works or the CDs in HMV or wondering if lightsaber from The Entertainer would raise a laugh.

Who invented this game anyway? Bah humbug.

The Whitgift Centre (Image: David Berman)

11. The 11th-hour shopper

There’s always one. That person who has literally left Christmas shopping to the very few last hours.

What’s more, to make it worse, Christmas Eve falls on a Sunday this year, that that’s even less time to finish off the shopping.

They are frantically scanning the shelves of M&S for gran, musing the bestsellers in Waterstones for granddad, and frantically flicking through the toy section of the Argos catalogue and typing in the numbers in the store checker only to find their top choices are sold out.

All the nice wrapping paper has sold out, they decided e-cards were the way to go this year and they are about to jump on the tram home when they remember they have no sticky tape.

Fortunately mum wanted vouchers and dad asked for something online – and it has only just been delivered.