Gaming PC Names Are Truly Embarrassing

I am in the market for a brand new gaming PC—thank you Kirk Hamilton—so today I decided to start browsing a bit. And I discovered the glory of video game PC branding. It’s sort of like Taco Bell crossed with Hot Topic.

Here is a list of actual names of actual gaming PCs that you can buy right now:

CyberPower Gamer Master Ultra

Falcon Northwest Tiki

Alienware Area-51 Threadripper Edition

AMD Ryzen Threadripper Extreme

Cyberpower Gamer Infinity 8000

Lenovo IdeaCentre Y710 Cube

Velocity Micro Raptor Z95

SkyTech ArchAngel GTX 1050 Ti

iBUYPOWER Chimera 5 – Flame Edition

iBUYPOWER Chimera 5 – Snow Edition

StormForce Tornado

ABS Battlebox Essential Vortex Leo

Chillblast Fusion Adamantium 3

Wired2Fire Diablo Fury

Cyberpower Ultra 5 Dragon Edition

Pro Gamer FTW Xtreme 2000 (I swear to god I’m not making these up)

But wait—it doesn’t stop there! Here is a list of actual names of actual PC parts that you can buy right now:

be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 3 (CPU cooler)

Deepcool CAPTAIN 240EX WHITE (CPU cooler)

Asus MAXIMUS VIII HERO (motherboard)

ASRock Fatal1ty Z270 Gaming K6 (motherboard)

MSI H270M BAZOOKA (motherboard)

Deepcool TESSERACT SW (case)

Raidmax Vortex (case)

Fractal Design Meshify C (case)

Cooler Master Storm Stryker (case)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be fueling on some Mountain Dew Code Red while getting in some serious play on my Pro Gamer FTW Xtreme 2000.