Toilet Humor:The Onion, America’s finest (fake) news source, is in hot water this morning for its vulgar tweet about Beasts of the Southern Wild‘s adorable star, Best Actress Nominee Quvenzhané Wallis. The offensive tweet has been deleted, but you can see a NSFW screenshot of it here. (The nine-year-old could very well have seen it too; she’s on Twitter at @IAMQUVENZHANE.) The satirical website issued an apology Monday morning: “We are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible. Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better.” (Hollywood Reporter)

Toilet Trouble: Tears weren’t the only thing flowing at the 85th Academy Awards last night: a pipe burst in the Dolby Theatre women’s restroom when the mother of Kief Davidson (director of Open Heart, nominated for best documentary short) flushed a toilet, flooding the lobby about thirty minutes before the ceremony began. Davidson’s mom was completely drenched. “‘The poor woman came out looking like a scene from Carrie,'” Lucy Walker, 2012 Oscar nominee in the same category, toldThe Wrap. (The Wrap)

Taking Flight: Kristina Reed, producer of Paperman, was escorted out of the ceremony because she was caught throwing paper airplanes from the balcony. She was eventually allowed to return to her seat after receiving a “stern warning.” She had reason to be giddy; the black-and-white flick won the Oscar for best animated short film. (Huffington Post)

Wolverine to the Rescue:Silver Linings Playbook and Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence showed she was human last night when she accidentally tripped on her way to accept the award for best actress. But did you catch Hugh Jackman leaping forward to give her a hand, becoming the Ryan Gosling of the Oscars (à la that time Gosling saved a British journalist from being hit by a taxi)? Here’s the moment in .gif form. (Vulture)

Break a Leg: As Kristen Stewart limped on stage to present the award for Best Production Design with Daniel Radcliffe, she looked a little, shall we say, preoccupied. Turns out the Twilight star hurt her foot stepping on broken glass and arrived at the ceremony on crutches. (Anne Hathaway, who won the Best Supporting Actress award, apparently told her to “break a leg.”) Radcliffe said he’d considered helping out Stewart, E! reports: “I just wanted to pick her up, put her in my arms and carry her onto the stage,” the Harry Potter star said, but “I probably would have dropped her and opened her wound again.” (Associated Press, E!)

Occupy the Oscars: More than 400 visual effects artists protested blocks away from the red carpet last night, as the studio that did the visual effects for Life of Pi, Rhythm & Hues,faces bankruptcy and a class-action lawsuit that accuses the company of wrongfully terminating about 250 employees without pay. Hashtags supporting the protest were trending on Twitter at the beginning of the Awards. Life of Pi did win an Oscar for Best Visual Effects, but the acceptance speech was cut short by the Jaws theme — perhaps to avoid any more discussion about the protest. (Deadline, The Verge)

It’s a Cover Up! While critics debated why Michelle Obama got to present the Academy Award for Best Picture, Iranians were more concerned about her dress. It looks like the state news agency, FARS, altered their version of the image to make her dress look more modest. See for yourself. (BuzzFeed)