Jerry gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, 'Where in the
hell have you been?'
Jerry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.

'A tattoo?' she frowned.

'What kind of tattoo did you get?'
'I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking?! She said, shaking her head in disgust.

'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill Tattooed on
his privates?'

Well,
One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at
home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.