Sanctuary for the Abused

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Be Very Specific in Custody Agreements

A
child custody agreement is an extremely important document that will
largely influence your life as a co-parent. Child custody agreements
essentially lay out how you, your co-parent, and your child will be
living your daily lives. For this reason, you and your co-parent must
ensure that the rules of raising your child are clearly defined in the
document. Including provisions in your custody agreement is a good way to thoroughly cover every aspect of your responsibilities as co-parents.

Before adding provisions to your custody agreement

Child custody agreements must be given a lot of time and thought.
They must be thorough and include everything that you will need to know
as a co-parent for your child. Before adding provisions to your custody
agreement there are a few major issues that must be accounted for. A
basic child custody agreement should include:

A definition for the type of legal custody that will be
implemented. Legal custody refers to the decisions making
responsibilities for the child. These responsibilities can be given to
one or both co-parents.

A definition for the type of physical custody that will be
implemented. Physical custody refers to the day-to-day caretaking
responsibilities for the child. These responsibilities can be given to
one or both co-parents.

A method should be defined for making modifications to the custody
agreement if circumstances are to change in the future and the custody
agreement needs to be changed.

A basic visitation schedule must be created following the
determination of physical custody. This visitation schedule will
determine how the child’s time will be divided among both co-parents.

Most states require by law that co-parents include these issues in
their custody agreement. Be sure to consult with you attorney or a
family law professional in your state to determine what needs to be
included in your own custody agreement.

Including your own provisions in your custody agreement

Now that the basic issues of your custody agreement have been
defined, you and your co-parent will be able to add your own provisions
if you feel that its necessary. These provisions will be useful in
saving you and your co-parent a lot of stress and unneeded conflict in
the future. The easiest way to come up with these provisions is to
reflect on what issues you and your co-parent have currently regarding
your co-parenting relationship. You may also come up with provisions by
trying to predict and problems that may arise in the future and creating
preventative provisions.

The most common types of provisions are used to provide more detail
to the issues included in your basic child custody agreement. For
instance, if you and your co-parent agree that details need to be added
to your legal or physical custody agreements you may do so. Other
provisions may also be added regarding separate issues such as how you
will allow your child to interact with new partners or how you and you
co-parent choose to contact one another. Any stipulation can be created
as long as you and your co-parent come to an agreement on it. If you and
your co-parent wish to make a provision but you cannot come to an
agreement on the situation, you may request that a judge make a
determination.

Remember that a judge must approve all provisions. A judge may also
request you to state your argument as to why a provision is needed. Be
sure to have a valid reason for creating each provision otherwise it is
likely that it will not be approved.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

This is so true. Take time to really think about these orders and even search online. I had what I thought was a good order based on the recommendation of a lawyer.

What I wound up with was a loophole for my ex to control me through the children. To put it shortly, he was military and our lawyers agreed it would be best not to schedule visitation and just to let us agree on it. HUGE mistake. He used that to control me, took the kids out of school whenever he wanted and blatantly disregarded anything in their lives other than him wanting everything.

And any time I tried to reason with him over it I was threatened with legal action. He wound up having my kids for every major holiday for almost 2 years in a row before I was financially able to go back and get it adjusted. Don't let anyone fool you by being nice during the proceedings. Plan for them to be the biggest monster you can think of.

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GENDER BIAS
Numerous men have come in here and been offended that the abusers are referred to as "he" in many of these articles. I want to make it perfectly clear that I am well aware of the fact that female abusers exist and cause just as much devastation as their male counterparts. The sad fact is that there are more male abusers than female narcissists, but domestic homicide is the leading cause of death in women surpassing cancer and car accidents. A woman dies at the hands of her significant other every 6 days, and when you look at the stats for the whole world it is even more bleak. Worldwide, a woman dies every day due to domestic homicide. One in 3 women will experience abuse in her life. It is a plague on society worldwide, causing devastation and ruining lives of men and women. Abuse is an equal opportunity scourge, abusers don't care what color, nationality, religion, age, health condition or socio-economic status, or gender the victim is, the only prerequisite a victim must have is a heart and empathy.
Replacing he or him with she or her as you read is simple enough. Please remember these articles are NOT written by me but shared as supportive information. Thank you.

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