It’s easy to tell someone the truth when we know we’re right. It makes us the authority and them our minion. “Here, take it. Listen to what I said and change your behavior based on what I’ve told you.”

I’ve heard a lot of well-intentioned Christians say that the attitude and character of the speaker doesn’t ultimately matter. The only question is, “Is the message true?” because then we’re obligated to obey.

I think now I’d respond with, “Yeah, but…” and that’s a significant “but.” It seems to me that people care a lot about the attitude and character of the messenger. If a person feels like you don’t love them, like they’re just your project, then speaking all the truth in the world isn’t going to make a difference.

We can keep telling ourselves that people have to listen to us because we’re talking about the truth, or we can genuinely care about people so they want to join the conversation.