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After posting about my struggles with my health and my concerns about what to do and where to turn when I feel lost or scared, I received such an incredible outpouring of love, understanding, empathy, kindness (and even a little pointed silliness intended to make me laugh... thanks, Lacey). The responses I got made a few things abundantly clear. First and foremost, that I am NOT alone. That despite feeling like my problems are too complex, interwoven and bizarro, people with health issues nothing like my own feel the same. Second, that I am loved and supported by SO MANY amazing people. People I've met during all the different stages of my life and who are still, thanks to the positive parts of social media and social networking, a part of my life today. And third, that maybe I shouldn't have stopped writing. That maybe I still need it. That it helps me. Helps me sort out the craziness bouncing around inside my brain. While having a conversation with one friend this morning ab…

**This post was transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.**

Two days ago, I said something to the nurse at HBOT about being almost done and she mentioned the fact that my insurance had approved 30 more sessions after the initial 30. It sent me into complete freak-out mode - I'm not going to lie. I think I had been getting through all of this stuff knowing that there was this countdown. This end date. I felt completely blindsided by her news. Did I HAVE to keep going? What would they say at work? Can I afford to keep getting these tiny paychecks? SHOULD I keep going? Would more be better, even though I am already feeling so much better?

I had a million questions. And the problem was that NO ONE can answer them. The doctors at the Wound Center seem to know basically NOTHING about my condition. The questions they've asked me in the follow-up sessions I have with them every week or two are useless. And then the Urologist didn't really seem t…

There is really nothing about being an AGING young adult cancer survivor that doesn't 100% suck. And it's not even something I can get across to anyone I know to ask for advice, because it's all such a strange combination of things that are impossible to understand for someone that hasn't been here... I now exist in this world of limbo between being stoked to be 5 years out and just having the opportunity to still be ALIVE, and the exhausting, never-ending series of fears that something else could be wrong. As I get older, this only gets harder. I'm almost 42 and on top of the regular stuff that starts to break down in our bodies at this age, I've also been through a lot more shit that's messed me up beyond just the regular decline of a non-athletic, semi-chubby, moderately-healthy-eater in their early 40s. I feel like almost DAILY, I find myself asking the question: Is that pain just general aging biz, or is it more sinister? Which is then followed by a lit…