It's been a very long time since I've had a horrible, horrible idea that had to come out. I even ended up with an additional verse compared to the original. Ordinarily I would apologize to Gilbert and Sullivan here, but given the crack insanity of the song I'm not sure they deserve it. Singing this can get tricky in places, but again, the music itself may be more to blame than the lyrics I crammed in.

I am the very model of a modern game accessory
My market is the fanboys, the otaku, and the lonely NEET
My model number’s Sony SEVS-44936
I am a beta prototype so sorry if I have a glitch
I use games with Emotional Doll System, call it EDS
I come with Princess Maker, and I think that it’s the very best
I go into stand-by mode when I’m running low on battery
You can lay your head in my lap because I’m soft for a Sony

The PS2 is like a little brother that is annoying
I like to clean up, give me a broom and I’ll get busy sweeping
In short, for sales to fanboys, the otaku, and the lonely NEET
I am the very model of a modern game accessory.

I change to match the girls in the dating sims and VNs you play
My hair and eyes will alter color from the default choice of gray
I build personality constructs from many variables
I can adjust my figure and my breasts they are inflatable
My earblades display all the information diagnostical
My operating system has modifiers emotional
My emotional purge utility lets me have a good cry
I get energy from sweets and I like to eat a lot of pie

I monitor your health for I have basic knowledge medical
You can return the favor with my “nurse me” class behavioral
In short, for sales to fanboys, the otaku, and the lonely NEET
I am the very model of a modern game accessory.

Play with me won’t you please, tonight you can take me out on a date
I promise that you’ll have a good time and it will be really great
Maybe when you talk to me you need some multiple-choice answers
I’m programmed to not interfere with real player characters
When my owner finds a girl I know that it’s time to step aside
But then if she rejects him I’ll be back to help restore his pride
I’m not real, I won’t hurt you, and you don’t have to be afraid
Build your courage, and you’ll have a real relationship someday

I can play as your classmate, neighbor, childhood friend and even more
At the arcade on Mosh Mosh Revolution I have the high score
In short, for sales to fanboys, the otaku, and the lonely NEET
I am the very model of a modern game accessory.

My embarrassment subroutine requests that you put on some clothes
Or else in two hundred seventy seconds it will comes to blows
When threat or rejection comes then great strength is my ability
The most convenient weapon is the nearest pole utility
The planned production model has expansions to up my appeal
My nightmares and my feelings might be a little bit too real
My end user is supposed to develop some feelings for me
But sometimes I think maybe I don’t want to be a fantasy

I am a non-H model, and I only play pure games you see
My body is my own, and that decision, it belongs to me
But still, for sales to fanboys, the otaku, and the lonely NEET
I am the very model of a modern game accessory.