Pim: Does anyone want to go to the Apple store later?
Chorus: Me! Me! Me!
Pim: Perhaps we should have lunch there.
Mick: Maybe they serve apples?
Mim: You’ve been around this family too long.
Pim: Apple crumble…
Kim: Apple strudle…
T: Do you think they serve oranges at the PC store?

Al Ain (“the spring”) is an oasis city in the United Arab Emirates. I never visited, so I can’t say much more about it. I did drink plenty of Al Ain mineral water though. It was, well, watery.

Alain de Botton on the other hand, is a wanky pop philosopher, about whom I would have much to say, except I don’t feel like wasting my breath. “Life changing” if you’re a pretentious undergrad. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother.

Tour guide: We have to take a different road to Nairobi, because the President might be entering or leaving the city, and it could delay us by several minutes… or hours.
T: Okay. Is he giving a speech for Kenyan Independence Day?
Tour guide: No, he’s just wasting our time.