Irresponsible blogging at its best

June 16, 2012June 19, 2012

Men in Black 3 Review

As we are wont to do, we have high aspirations about putting together well-informed, in-depth, enormously clever movie reviews. But because we are tremendously lazy, the product either never comes to fruition or it’s thrown out as a half-assed effort. Since you are reading this, you know that the latter has happened this time.

So, here goes.

What’s the film about? Since it’s a sequel, let’s just say it’s the same thing as the last two. Secret agency run by people in suits. Good aliens. Bad aliens. Goofy guns with immense power of destruction. A cool retro vibe. Tommy Lee Jones as a curmudgeon with a soft heart buried waaaaaay beneath an exterior of gristle. Will Smith as the funny and capable agent that always seems to find himself in conundrums that imply the world will end imminently.

What’s interesting about it? Wow, has it really been 10 years since the last outing? Will Smith still looks really good, but his fresh, boyish face is finally starting to appear older. Tommy Lee Jones on the other hand has always looked old and wrinkled but now he looks like Brad Pitt at the beginning in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. His face looks like he had plastic surgery to make him look worse. Well, we’re sure he doesn’t give a damn. Josh Brolin as a young Agent K is fantastic. We really like Josh, we’ve discovered. A rather likable and talented dude.

What’s good about it? The jokes and the aliens. It’s a seriously funny film. The bad guy is MIB-nasty (hey, that’s Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords!). Also, kudos again to the costuming and special effects teams for creating really good aliens that pose as humans. And Emma Thompson looks marvelous in her 50s (although in a “what the hell?” moment, you have to wonder why Alice “Perfect Teeth” Eve was cast as a young Emma “British teeth” Thompson; What? Now the Brits are flaunting their dental horrors by reversing good oral configurations?!). If you liked the first one, this is a good sequel (unlike #2 which was a mess).

Goodness! What a miscast. Alice Eve on the left was cast as a younger version of Agent O whereas Emma Thompson as an older O. They look nothing alike.OK, just funnin’. Actually Emma is rather lovely.

What’s bad about it? Well, given that it is what it is — a lighthearted film that doesn’t take itself seriously — then nothing really except our disappointment in the time travel thing. We love time travel movies, especially when the jump lands someone in the early to mid twentieth century. Just close enough to make the out-of-place situation really interesting. But time travel movies can die on the vine if they’re poorly done (think Timecop or Star Trek Generations (let the arguing begin) or Black Knight or Freejack). This one was OK but we would have liked to see more out-of-place scenarios.

Jean-Claude Van Damme in 1994: “It’s all up from here! I finally will be respected as an actor!”Martin Lawrence in 2001: “Yeah, no. If I could travel back in time, I’d tell Van Dammit the real dope. On the other hand, my movie is going to rock the box office!”

So as Agent J says: “Damn!” (That would be a Comics A-Go-Go! endorsement).

One thought on “Men in Black 3 Review”

I hate cats.It doesn’t help that I am allergic to them.One time at a frenid’s house I got some cat germ in my eye and it swelled up and made me look like a diseased druggie rapist. Cats should be banned. I mean seriously, who goes around saying, “oh wow I miss (insert owner or other significant person in your life’s name here) so much. I think I’ll piss on their bed and/or clothes. That will show them how much I truly adore them and they will never leave me again, EVARRRR!!!” Answer: No one but those clawed fiends people WILLINGLY (why would anyone ever intentionally do that?!?!?) bring into their homes around themselves and innocent defenseless children. Cats are more of a danger to humankind than serial killers, shoelaces getting caught in escalators, and AIDS.But that’s just my opinion.