Friday, November 4, 2011

Tough Love

Right now seems to be a little hard on Buggy. She is getting older and not wanting to be 'told' what she needs to do. She wants to be her "own boss and choose what ever she wants to do". I have been trying to explain to her that she is her own boss and she does get to choose whatever she wants to do but that with every choice there is a good or bad consequence. She isn't down with this consequence stuff. We talk and talk about senerios were there are good and bad consequences. One example she came up with a little funny, "If you were just running around the house with the red knife (the sharpest one in my kitchen that I have warned them about) and you tripped over Quinny's toys it would just go right in your belly and then you would bleed and bleed and ruin your clothes and make a big mess in the living room and on the carpet. That would be a bad consequence, right Mom?" Yes, a little morbid, but yes. Then she asks why do Moms and Dads get to tell kids what to do and that they have to listen or they get in trouble. I told her that Heavenly Father has given us our free agency which means we get to make our own choices and he won't force us to do anything at all, but he does 'ask' us to do a few things only because he loves us and wants to just help us. One thing he asks us to do is to RESPECT your Mother and Father. Which means listen to them when they are teaching you. And I am teaching you RESPECT when you are sassy and I make you clean the whole playroom and bedroom. I don't know if she totally 'gets it' but even adult don't totally 'get it'. We are always learning. I just hope that one day she will know or see how much I LOOOOOOOVE HER and that I never want to be 'mean' but that being a good mother is hard and love comes in many ways, easy, fun, warm, and then tough. But however it is felt it is still love.