Boris “solves” backstop problem by asking Merkel if the UK can buy Ireland from the EU

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has given the UK 30 days to come up with a solution to the Brexit deal impasse.

And Boris Johnson defied his critics, who claimed he didn’t have a solution, by announcing that he intends to purchase Ireland from the EU.

Donald Trump recently revealed, in a tweet, that he intends to purchase Greenland from Denmark.

It’s suspected Donald Trump was trying gazump the UK in the biggest land estate deal of the century after receiving some information via American Intelligence. Thistheory would explain why the CIA have just raised a request with the EU help desk requesting they implement a fix to resolve the ridiculously close similarity of the names Greenland and Ireland.

The inhabitants of Greenland have initially reacted with anger over Donald Trump’s offer to purchase their country.

But let’s see how they think about it in the cold light of the day, due in May 2020.

Writer for The News Dump, The Rhyming Detective podcast, Big Finish (Doctor Who Short Trips audio story ‘Seven To One’), BBC Scotland Television & Radio’s ‘Breaking The News’ and Radio 4 Extra’s ‘Newsjack’ and ‘Newsjack Unplugged’.