Monthly Archives: January 2012

Last night was all about 4 things: Versace, Reem Acra, Lorraine Schwartz diamonds, and mermaid tails. Here are the Top 5, the Bottom 5, and all the “ehh” in between. Plus a surprise “like” at the end!

Ps: Even though I did like Lea Michele’s Marchesa dress, (the dress was gorgeous), I am not posting a photo of her. She and her POSING RITUAL are so desperate for attention.

TOP 5 BEST

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

The BEST of the night! SO good, we had to post her pic twice!! That FACE!, the way the dress was PERFECTLY FIT to her body, her makeup, her leg, her poise- Perfection. She is ROYALTY.

Elle Macpherson in Zac Posen

Stunning. HER face!, that HAIR, her BODY…….! She is 47?!?!? Exquisite….

Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli

Goddess. Perfection. She is one of the most BEAUTIFUL women EVER! Look at this!!!! I can’t WAIT for Underworld Awakening- I’m Obsessed with her!!

Nicole Richie in Julien Macdonald

Her HAIR was AMAZING!!! (love some good extensions!) Smokey eye- she was like a Disco Barbie- (love that too!). This dress was ALL beaded- photo doesn’t do it justice- dress was phenomenal!

Nicole Kidman in Versace

Usually, she is ok- always nice, but never the best… This dress- Definitely- fits, looks, and compliments her AMAZINGLY. Her hair looks wonderful.. Rounds out the Top 5 Best!

Top 5 WORST!!!!

Kelly Osbourne in Zac Posen

Kelly- as a loyal “ranger”, I’m quoting you when u like someone, but not their outfit: “I’m sorry to say, but this has to be my worst this week”. Really?! This is THE WORST of the night!!! WHAT COLOR IS THAT HAIR??!?! Lavender? Grey? She is a “host/expert” on E! Fashion Police, and THIS is what you come up with?!?!?! And this is NOT a mermaid tail- this is URSULA the OCTOPUS WITCH! Horrendous… !!! Your MOM looks younger than you!!!

Sarah Michele Gellar in Monique Lhullier

NO!!!! I LOVE her!!! Since Buffy, Cruel intentions, Scream, I know what you did last summer… WHY??? She hasn’t done anything forever, FINALLY comes back with one of my FAVE new shows, RINGER, and THIS is the “comeback” dress choice??? NO!!! Her face is SO AMAZING!!! She said that her daughter picked it out for her… THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN CHOOSE YOUR DRESS! I was so SAD!

Freida Pinto in Prada

Nothing like wearing your drapes to an awards show. Did they not have time to find a REAL dress? and they just sewed together what was lying around the house? Awful.

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu

I was hoping that she kept her wig from “Marilyn”, so we had a change in THAT hair… but oh well. And this dress…. Purple velvet leopard??? when asked what kind of dress it was, she said, ” i don’t know, some sort of velvet.”…. IT’S CALLED “BURNOUT!” This dress, not so much….

Piper Perabo in... ?

Does anyone know who whose dress this is? More importantly, does anyone CARE? This is HORRIBLE. Like a big trash bag… Boring color, boring design, BORING. There are SOOOO many other options out there!!!!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Charlize Theron in Dior Couture

Almost made top 5, but something was missing- don’t know what it is. No matter what- she’s GORGEOUS. I think the hair choice is a little young, (Young Adult, anyone?) but overall, Beautiful. Just not the “best.”

Jessica Alba in Gucci

A usual non-fave, she looks GREAT! the color is great, love the details,.. but the best part? her SKIN!!! It was GLOWING!!! Whatever she used- I WANT IT!! Good Job Jessica!

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen

California girl!!!! Love her hair, love her smile- always ADORABLE!!!!! The dress was a little bland… especially in the bust area: it looked a little DE-flated. But OTHER than that- SO CUTE!!!!! 🙂 I just love her personality, and big Barbie beachy Malibu hair!

Sophia Vergara in Vera Wang

(as Sophia says, “Sophia WONG”) She always looks good- HI, BANGING BODY- but this was a little lack luster… hair was boring and flat, dress was boring color…. I LOVE looking at that body, but now that she’s “somebody”, her stylist could give her a little more, “oomph!”

DISAPPOINTMENTS

Mila Kunis in Dior

She just got signed as a “face” of Dior- but this face looks like J-Woww… and THIS dress- out of ALL of DIOR’S DRESSES- is the one she chose???? I have 2 words- DROOPY. BOOBIES. As one of Hollywoods most beautiful faces, WHY?? Black Swan was LAST YEAR!!!

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

She is SKYROCKETING through Hollywood- I LOVED her character in The Help, but this high neck -blown out hair makes her look like 80’s Dynasty… and NOT young and fresh in Hollywood! This dress DATED her, and made her look old.

Jessica Beil in Dolce & Gabbana

Speaking of “dating” one’s self- this looks like Prairie Home Companion. Or Old Maid. On top of that, this dress made her look like she had 3 tits. Not flattering.

Madonna in Reem Acra

Top half- boobs were so squished in- it was too tight! (Makeup was nice). Bottom half- that’s including the one fingerless glove (we get it already) was too much, to heavy. I know the gothic punk rock look she was going for, but I was less than impressed. C’mon Madonna!

Glenn Close in ?

All I have to say, is that top band across her chest looks like the bandaging to flatten out her boobs for her role as a man, she forgot to take it off, so they layered a strip of sequins on it… What IS that???

Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci

We get that she plays a goth girl in “Dragon/Tattoo” movies… that doesn’t mean she needs to keep dressing that way!!! Hasn’t her sister told her acting is ACTING- it’s a role- it’s pretend! Time to get out of character please!

And for EXCEPTIONAL CONSIDERATION….

Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackerman

For some reason- I love this. She is always a little coo-koo… dresses more “fashion”, then “appropriateness”, but This color, and concept, with the hair- I like! I think it’s because as soon as I saw this, I thought of Princess Diana. If she was still living- this would be AMAZING on her.

No, this is not her after I complained- (funny thought though)… it’s actually a photo on their own website, and Twitter profile. Gross right? (Makes me sure want to go there….)

Last night, we decided to do something nice, try a new place, check out Sotto. First of all, it’s located on Pico, which (if none of you reading live in LA)- it’s a ghetto area. But hey, if the food’s good, let’s go. Our RSVP was for 6:15- we got there at 6:22- 7 min late. Well, thats not such a bad thing, since tables are never ready, people are always late, etc…. and an rsvp at 6:15? EARLY for a Friday night in the LA dining scene. However- Valet was backed up to drop off. There were 5 cars in front of us, all waiting to get in, and the Valet guys were EXTREMELY disorganized. 10 MIN we waited IN the car for us to drop off our car!!! By the time we get to the hostess stand, it is 6:33.

I tell The Hostess (tall, white, long curly hair) our name and rsvp- she looks at me, and says, “well, glad you made it, we were just about to give your table away”. I responded, “Well, your Valet is backed up about 5 cars, and it took 10 min of us waiting out there.” She said,” ok, well it’ll be a handful of minutes, so why don’t you get a drink at the bar.” J says,”Wait, if you were about to give our table away- then it should be ready, right?” Hostess gives us a seething look. I looked around the dining room: 5 two-tops were ready, 3 four-tops were ready, and about 6 spots of the (12?) at the bar were free. I say to her, “It looks like there are plenty of tables, I’m sure one of them is ready?” She just says, “we’ll get you when one is available”.

Hmm. So we go to the bar, not satisfied with the service or her attitude. We pick up a drink menu, and after a couple min, decide what we want. The 2 bartenders are taking their time making nice drinks, no acknowledgement, or “hi guys”, or “I’ll be right with you”. About 5 min go by before the BARBACK takes our order, seeing as we haven’t even been acknowledged. He asks what we want, and then asks for a credit card. REALLY?? This isn’t some SBE club, is it? Where drunk punk kids order drinks and run off? I thought this was a reputable place. When you take my card, it better be after my order, and after my meal- NOT BEFORE.

So as he takes the card, a different Hostess comes to tell us our table is ready. We tell her we just ordered drinks. She says, “ok, close your tab with them, and come get me. I’ll show you to your table.” We wait…. and wait…(another 10 min) for our 2 drinks. Yes they are “libations” made my “mixologists”, but clearly- they were taking TOO long- because Hostess #2 comes to us AGAIN and says, “are you ready yet?” We tell her, “we’re STILL waiting for our drinks!” She replies, “really? ok, I’ll be up front whenever you’re ready.” We tell her,” well, so far, 0- for- 2: bad valet service, and bad drink service”. She shrugs and walks away.

WE WERE READY WHEN WE WALKED IN THE DOOR! (AND SO WAS OUR TABLE!) WE DIDN’T NEED TO GO TO THE BAR AND WAIT ANOTHER 15 MIN FOR A DRINK- WE WERE THERE TO EAT!

We get our drinks- 15 min later- NO JOKE. So it is now almost 7. We get shown to our table, and finally, try to enjoy the rest of night. We sit at 1 of the 3 tables I saw empty for the last half hour, between a nice young couple, and a pair of nice women- ALL who we saw waiting at the bar along side us, and ALL of us got seated at the same time! Since the tables are so close, we all got to talking about coming to this place, etc… ALL OF THEM SAID SAME THING! The Hostess was the most RUDE person! The couple on our right said, “she was so rude, I had to just walk away, I’ve never been talked to like that, I felt like I was going to explode!” The ladies on our left: “Us too! She’s horrible! She gave us such attitude!” The rest of our dinner was fine- food was good, portions were good, service was good- overall: pleasant. Maybe they redeemed themselves in the food? The young couple left, and the women next to us were so friendly, we were talking about life, food, etc… enjoying a new friendship. We passed on dessert, got our checks, and as the 4 of us are finishing our glasses of wine, we see The Hostess walk over.

She leans down between our tables,” are you going to be ordering anything else tonight?” (I HATE BEING RUSHED). All of us say, “no, we’re fine, thank you.” She says,”Well , then I need to ask for your tables, I have people waiting… “(then, looking at J, says without a pause) “I like your ring…. nice watch too”. We all look at her in disbelief- Is she REALLY kicking us out, and trying to make up for it by making CHEAP comments on our jewelry? We just spent $160, and our new friends next to us, the same! J said,” well, great, because it’s the last time you’re ever going to see it.” Hostess stands up and walks away. We all look at each other (the ladies- they both exclaimed, “oh my God, I’ve never been asked to leave!”). We get up, all leaving in silence, I think out of shock. As we pass Valet stand, J says to Hostess,”We won’t be coming back.” Her reply- “Great!”

As we gave the ticket and money to Valet, he said,” just the ticket- you pay the driver.” We ask, “does the driver have change?” Valet says, “yes”. 1o min later, we get our car, and hand driver money. Driver says, ” hold on, I need to get change”.

R U F***ING KIDDING ME?

Another wait while we get change….. finally out of there. The last time we’ll ever see that place. There are too many GREAT Italian restaurants in LA without attitude and AMAZING service- MOZZA, MADEO, TERRONI’S.

To sum it up, (and to quote a friend I told this story to), “You shouldn’t have an attitude if you are located on PICO!”

I recently sat down with friends for lunch, most of whom are in luxury retail. We got on the subject of this past holiday season, and what it was like- busy, good customers, making money, etc. But what dominated the conversation was actually the topic of the “customers”. Now to clarify, there are “Clients”: (those who are repeat shoppers who work one-on-one with their Sales Associate, and generally spend more money than the average shopper- THEY ARE GOOD!). The “customers” are the “one-time-buyer”, who is NOT (yet, or ever will be) a client, and usually shopping in a place CLEARLY out of their league. Some of these stories I heard made me realize that: A) there are some REALLY stupid people out there, B) the English language & grammar is finished (as we know it); C) LuAnn De Lesseps song sings true: “Money Can’t Buy You Class”.

Story 1- STUPID PEOPLE

A woman came into a Luxury store, looked at some men’s loafers, and asked the Salesperson, “it says (brand) here, but it doesn’t say “made-in-Italy” anywhere”. The Salesperson replied, “yes, you’re right. Actually none of the Men’s shoes say that.” She replied, “But some of the Women’s do?”. The salesperson responded, “correct, some of the Women’s Collection Shoes do say it.” She takes a moment to think about it, then says,” well…. are these… copies?” (REALLY LADY??!?!?!?!!? You’re IN the ACTUAL STORE and you’re asking if they are REAL?!?!?!?!) The Salesperson said, “Excuse me, you are in a (brand) store- we don’t sell copies.” DAMN GOOD ANSWER! Tell her to GET OUT!) Another friend said that if it were him, he would have loved to mock her, and say, “oh yes, these are copies. We have such a high demand, that we can’t make enough; so we get copies made in China and sell them under our own roof.” (GOD, I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN THAT HAPPEN).

Story 1.5 (more stupidity)

A woman comes into a Luxury store’s shoe department. She asks,”are you having sale?” Salesperson says, “yes, all sale shoes are in this section here.” The customer walks over to a completely different shoe section and asks, “are these on sale?” Sales associate, “No, only these shoes here.” (pointing back to the sale section just shown). Customer asks, “So these aren’t on sale then?” ( NO !!!! THOSE AREN’T ON SALE!!! OTHERWISE THEY’D BE IN THE SALE AREA!!!!!)

PART 2- THE END OF PROPER GRAMMAR (… and more Stupidity)

A woman walks in to a luxury store, and says,” you don’t got any red bags?” THE CORRECT QUESTION WOULD BE, “Do you have any red bags?”.

A man picks up a black display shoe and asks,”what color is this?” The salesperson responds, “It’s Black”. The customer says, “Is it? It looks Navy. Are you sure it’s not Navy?” The Sales Associate (WHO KNOWS WHAT COLOR IT IS- HI, THEY WORK THERE) responds, “Yes, I’m sure. It only comes in Black”. The Customer: “Oh yeah, it is. I’m looking for black, just wanted to make sure.” Then a pause, “You don’t have this in Navy?” (NO THEY DON’T HAVE IT IN NAVY!!!!!) Salesperson says, “no, like I said, it only comes in black.” Customer asks, “you don’t have my size?” Sales associate says, ” I don’t know, you haven’t told me your size.” (THESE “CUSTOMERS” ARE SO STUPID!!!!) Then the customer asks, “well, what size is this?” The salesperson takes shoe, looks at size, and replies, “It is an 8”. The Customer says, “that’s not my size”. Associate has to ask, “well, what size do you want?” The customer answers, “I need a 10”. (DUH YOU F***ING IDIOT!!!!!!! JUST TELL THE SALESPERSON WHAT SIZE YOU WANT IN WHAT SHOE!!!!!!!! IT’S ACTUALLY VERY EASY!!!!! ALL THAT STUPID CONVERSATION FOR NOTHING!!!!!)

Woman walks in to luxury store, asks, “Where are your wallets?” Salesperson replies, “They are in all the cases here. Are you looking for a specific color?” Customer answers, “no, just looking…. can I see this black one?” Salesperson shows it to her. Customer asks, “what other colors does it come in?” Salesperson responds, “grey and blue.” The customer asks, “you don’t have it in pink?” (IF SHE HAD IT IN PINK, DON’T YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU??????) Customer then says,” I really want a bright color wallet.” (THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT A BLACK WALLET??? THE SALESPERSON ASKED IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR A PARTICULAR COLOR!!!!)

When people ask, “you don’t have this..?.” , or “you don’t “got” this..?”, (GROSS) or “you don’t carry…?” ALREADY SETS THE TONE in a NEGATIVE manner, and having the salesperson NOT want to help you. (ie: you are “setting self up for confirmation of disappointment and failure”). The correct way to ask for something would be, “DO you have this…?” or, “DO you carry…?” Asking in a positive manner would be more engaging in having the Salesperson WANTING to help you!

PART 3- “Money Can’t Buy You Class”

This last part will probably anger people, but hey- I’m writing what I see and hear.

Recently, during my shopping excursions/outings/researching, I have noticed more and more….how shall I put this…. “conflicting demographics” in luxury stores. On one side of the boutique is an upscale Jewish family, wife carrying a $12,000 Hermes; while on the other side is a bunch of “rapper wannabes” (Not an actual real successful rapper), with their pants hanging below their butts, underwear in complete exposure, Gucci belt, shoes; and smelling of marijuana. Or a young Korean couple shopping, the lady done up in a Chanel jacket, jeans, and Louboutins; while a group of Middle Americans, overweight with dyed hair, piercings, (and clearly a decade behind in fashion), wander through the store, saying,” this store is so expensive, look how much this is, lets try things on”.

SIGH.

While there is a part of me that believes, “everyone is created equal”, … that’s where it stops. Created. Everyone WAS created equally- It’s what people have BECOME, what they have MADE OF THEMSELVES, how they REPRESENT THEMSELVES, that make me think they are not “equal”. Imagine you have gone through college, earned degrees, finally made a name for yourself, and can create a lifestyle you can afford. Like the Jewish/Hermes bag-woman, and the Korean couple: they have clearly made their mark, paid their dues, worked hard to get the things they want, or have inheirited a lifestyle that continues to involve themselves in a surrounding they appreciate and respect.

On the other hand, everyone can aspire to be someone, or be a better person, or want the “finer things in life” right? But how are we to take them seriously when they represent themselves in a place where, what they represent, does not in fact, belong? I can imagine a whole bunch of people telling me I’m too judgmental, racist, stuck up, etc. Try this: the “rapper wannabes” I used for example? When I see this, I think, “What would Barack and Michelle Obama think? Or Oprah? They don’t dress like this. Would they be saddened to see their fellow race representing themselves like this? Or do you think they would embrace the culture and think nothing of it?” I believe they would feel embarrassed, JUST the SAME way I WOULD , when those “Middle Americans” represent themselves the way they do, and people would think to put ME in that same category.

Luxury isn’t Luxury when the co-habitat of different groups of people are all of a sudden “fish-bowled”. It isn’t meant to be, for these groups to be shopping under the same roof together. Think of their living situations- Do they live in the same neighborhoods? NO. Do they eat at the same restaurants? NO.

Luxury is not luxury when anyone can just go in and buy it. You have to EARN IT, and RESPECT IT.

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 29,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.