Session 12 – Robert Delamontagne

Recap and Highlights

Robert got interested in retirement psychology based on the challenges he faced upon retirement coupled with the lack of resources to help. So he decided to conduct his own research to help him adjust.

This research resulted in two books: The Retiring Mind and Honey I’m Home – How to Prevent or Resolve Marriage Conflicts Caused by Retirement.

He compares retirement to losing a loved one.

The fact that retirement can cause marital stress can surprise many because often they have been in a long term relationship.

He uses the term “marital compression” to describe how having to spend more time together amplifies underlying differences brought about by different personality types.

The Enneagram Model is a tool for indentify one of 9 personality types.

Robert provides ideas for how different personality types can manage their differences.

Three different personality types face the greatest difficulty in adjusting to retirement: #1 – The Master; #3 – The Star; and #8 – The Conquistador.

While use of the Enneagram helps manage marital conflict, it is possible to take the relationship to a higher level. Robert suggests following the Tao as described in Lao Tzu’s timeless classic the Tao te Ching.

By following the way of the Tao, couples can move towards a more harmonious and stress free relationship.

Excerpts from both books can be found on his website to help you decide if you think that either book would help you.