Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I mean, Every-one is a freak, I always thought I was a freak, as in weirdo :-DWeird because I have these little things I am too particular about.Weird because, when I am expected to get angry, I may not even bother to react; and when I am expected to stay calm, I may get hyper no-end. Yes, I am moody.Weird because I don't necessarily mean whatever I say.Weird because I am different![Bloody hell I am.]

Very recently, I had this desire to know what exactly the word "freak" means. So, short-cut, googled it. Got to Thesaurus. Thats when I realised how multi-fauceted this word is!

They have 3 senses they define this word in and every synonym given in each of these 3 senses is, errmm, absolutely NOT synonymous to each other! So, when one says the particular word under question, they can mean so many things!

*~*In the first sense, Freak is synonymous to Curiosity.Meanings used later in this sense are:- rarity, oddity, mutant, aberration, anomaly, one-off, unusual, irregularAlso, an abnormally formed, especially in a person or an animal, regarded as curiosity or monstrosity [evil grin*]

And if this wasn't enough, In a forth sense, [read slang] I came across a whole new bunch of words directly related!*~*A drug user or addict: a speed freak. *~*An eccentric or nonconformist person, especially a member of a counterculture.*~*An enthusiast: rock music freaks.So, now when I say, I am a freak I might mean, either that I am curious, or rare, or odd, or mutant, or irregular, or enthusiastic, or fanatic, or fanatic, or nut, or lover, or buff; phew!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Going back to Navy-nagar always makes me bliss. I wasn't born there, haven't even spent major chunk of my life there, just two years effectively, 5th and 6th year of my life, but its weird how some places of your childhood play a role in the way you are, for-ever.

My parents have strong circuits there, too many people we know, actually, they know. I don't remember much of them, nor does it matter to me. Twelve years I have been in Vashi, renewed the very foundations of my life, very far from trivial bondages, but faded memories always remain. I go back sometimes, for some hours, but only to some specific places, meet those specific people. Remaining part of Navy nagar is stored only in form of moving pictures in the mind, pictures that sometimes I can't even make a head or tail of.

Yesterday I went to Navy Nagar again, to visit Dadu and chachu. Dropped by INCS, but it was closed for lunch break, a good half an hour of wait. It was drizzling slightly, the weather was too inviting, so I bought Ice-cream [mango candy!] and told my father that I would be around. Picked up my umbrella and walked off. Around the main gate some I saw some cadets at work, ah! my brain said, "the feast has already begun.."

Walked, absorbing the scene. Lush green tidily done lawns, absolute cleans roads, not one man around to interfere between me and the surrounding, the smell of the soil, and top it up, tiny droplets leaking from the sky. I walked through puddles, splashed water on my feet, felt heavenly, carefree. I drifted so much in the new-found freedom that I wasn't too aware where I was heading towards. Still, I was certain I would find the way back, cummon, it was Navy nagar! I suddenly saw the end of the road I was walking on, and surprizingly it looked very familiar. Excitement got the better of me, I almost ran towards the gates of that very known place. But the gates were closed, it was not time to open yet. As I peered through the gates, I felt warm, and happy.

Yes, I knew that place, have had some memories there. It was the shiv-mandir. We celebrated Durga puja in these very premises. I remember running around with my brother in the opening, offer pushp-anjali with entire family, eat sweets on sindur-utsav, bow to the mother. It is the best part of the year Durga puja! And just beyond the stage was the sea. Kids weren't allowed to go there, but the sound of the sea splashing on-to the shore was one thing I remember. It has been fenced now. Sigh....

I saw to my left, and just as I expected, The Commander's swimming club! Used to come here as a very little girl with chachu. This place marks the onset of my love for being in the water, yes, it is special. It has been renovated, good. But to it's right, parallel to shiv mandir, I saw an official looking gate, it read "Sea-view Park" and the gate was open. I walked into the park.

Man! Gorgeous!It was one simple park, but it opened into the sea! the sea roared and so did my heart, with happiness! I walked straight to the very end, as close as I could get to the water. Stood there appreciating the beauty, of life, of nature. And then,

I felt a hand on my shoulder and almost instantly, an unknown voice said "Excuse-me",I was taken aback! I turned around to find two guys standing very close to me, one of them was a sardarji, his hand was out-streched towards me. I was so stunned and enraged, took two steps behind, as far as I could get from them."What?""My name is..""I don't care." I turned my face, preparing to leave."Wait, do you need help with directions? you are not from here, are you?""Yes I am, mind your own buisness!" and then I began to walk off the garden.The other guy came running rehind and held my hand.I turned behind and smack! slapped him right on his face,"Don't you dare touch me""Listen girl, we are just trying to help.""I don't need any help.""Stop acting stupid, you have lost your way.""I have not, leave me alone"and I ran, as fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going, but this road was surely not familiar. I was feeling absolutely stupid! It was raining heavily now. For few moments of timepass, I had landed in this unknown-unsafe-absolutely-empty-neighbourhood with two loafer-likes. It was my fault.

"Stop, its no-entry ahead! Its not safe, its high-tide! We are not here to hurt you, damn-it"I stopped, had no choice but to, it was dead end.I turned around to face them. Both of them, drenched."Please don't panic, we can explain ourselves.""Don't come near me.""Ok, we will not. We will stand just here, fine? Now will you talk to us?""Shoot""Hi. My name is Vishal." The first time the other guy spoke."So?""I was your friend in school.""You were not, I remember all my friends, atleast their names.""In Naval Public School. In your Second standard. I was a couplea years senior than you. We went to school, in bus together. You knew me.""Oh, Maybe. Why scare me like this?""I saw you at INCS, recognised you, but couldn't gather the courage to talk to you in front of your dad. So, when you left the premises, we followed you.""So now you done talking with me? I have to go.""No, wait!""Now what?""You haven't changed much. The same little school girl you are, I realised this while following you. The same innocence. When you played with the dog and fed him you ice-cream at the end, you made me smile, just the way you did when we were kids.""Huh?""Yea, I did not know then, but realised this after you left. You took a part of me with you. All these years I kept thinking of you. I always had a crush on you.""See, I hardly know you. Do you really think I would entertain you?""I am not asking for anything. When I saw you looking at the sea, the look on your face, the brightness in your eyes, I just could'nt stop myself. And, the way you were walking, we knew that you had reached the park by chance, you had lost your way. Its not safe here you know.""Yes, now I do. I am so sorry for slapping you, I misunderstood. Its too late, I have to get back, Papa must be waiting.""Its OK, take a left and then walk straight. Third left will be INCS.""Thank-you. Good-Bye""Wait. One last thing.""Yea, what happened?""Can I touch you? ""What!""To assure myself that I am not dreaming. Atleast let me shake you hand, please""Errmm, OK"I streched my hand, he did'nt grab it. I felt like he was making a joke of me. But then he smiled, "Can I walk towards you now?""Huh? yea yea." and then we shook hands."This is it then?""I guess" I smiled back."Good to meet you, again.""Bye."

I got back to INCS, and no, they didn't follow me this time. Did my shopping with dad. But the boys did'nt come back to INCS. I half-hoped to see them there again. Still....When I was waiting outside for dad to get the car to load all our stuff, a small girl came to me and gave me a peice of paper. It was a note. It said,

You made my day, Thanks.Keep Smiling always,-Vishal.

I don't know why, but I kept the note in my pocket. Its always good to know that you have an admirer in some part of the world. :-)

Monday, July 21, 2008

A lot of us complain of being in the middle. Having to multitask and having too many options to choose from, too much work and the desire to do none of it. The act of maintaining the equilibrium is a part of the human nature, and that how it should be. Observation leads to realization, which in turn evokes understanding. Thus, to understand your-own-self, one needs to observe their traits and how knowingly or un-knowingly they perform that balancing act.

Too much of everything is not good. Yes, it is a generalization, but if we extrapolate it to everything we do, it sure is relevant. Reminding myself of this line constantly helps me restrict my preferences.Similarly, Too little of anything is never enough. Both these statements sound like they are poles apart, but in the deeper sense, they mean the very same; we just need to know when to stop, how to strike that balance. The key to frictionless survival is, yes, that balancing act.

Activities that usually tend to lose that balance.

FriendsHaving too many friends might work for certain people, but somewhere don’t we tend to side-line the people who are really important to us? We are expected to trust so many more people, confide to all of them, update them with regular happenings of our life; just coz they do!!! It sure is complicated, and a little assistance never hurts, why you think the social networking sites are such a boom! Then having too little friends leaves us with practically no options and not too many people to share our opinions with. The only way out of this is,Strike that balance.

FriendlinessEspecially, when we meet some-one new; when we have no idea how to behave to neither be unfriendly, nor over-friendly. We meet endless “doods” who are way too annoying, call you “sweetheart” in the very first talk or crack such pathetic PJs that a tight slap would be the ideal reply. Then there is the other extreme, guys who are more interested in their toe-nails than in the conversation you are trying to make. Why blame only boys? Even girls face this usually. Either they over-do the whole thing by hugging all possible people around, or end up sipping the epicenter of all their attention, their coffee! We either have to deal with it orStrike that balance.

FoodToo much, :- ; too little :-Then the balance between the constituents of the diet is another concept altogether. “Balanced diet”, is a cliché, and very correctly too! Yes, here a lot of us need to know before we try andStrike that balance.

Faith (on god)I am not saying that atheism or hard-core bhakti is wrong. Suit your own faith, but questioning the existence of god to the believer or expecting the almighty to be on our guard 24x7 is not done. Everyone has their own beliefs, sometimes depending on the way they are brought up. I belong to the class of people who believe in god and secretly want him to solve all problems. God helps me be carefree, gives me hope. It helps me because I think somewhere I manage toStrike that balance.

FreedomBe free, but not on anybody else’s cost. Express to be heard, not hurt. I strongly believe that freedom of thoughts is more crucial than freedom of speech, but then what is the use of having free thoughts if they are not expressed? A lot of thought has to be given to this before execution, thought that would probably help us toStrike that balance

Blind TrustTrust the trustworthy, but to what extent? We do need to analyze every situation and act accordingly, we need toStrike that balance.

TalkingToo little gets us bottled, to much makes us talk non-sense. To voice opinions and also let others around you remain sane,Strike that balance.

SmokingI have nothing against them, smokers. But this one goes out to all human chimneys, please try and keep things in moderation, for your own good. PleaseStrike that balance.

CompetitionIf it is healthy, all is good. But playing dirty games, trying to push the competitors down are matters that we dealt with in standard 4! And when it is not deserved, what good is that victory for? The call of the day is toStrike that balance.

LuxuriesNeed I say anything? Oh yea,Strike that balance.

BloggingYes, for me. Third year just started, and I am already lagging behind the class in percent efficiency! Its high time I began taking things seriously, I absolutely have to,Strike that balance.

P.S. Nature has its own ways of balancing things, of getting even with man. But this is not what this post is about. General bachche, ka general gyan showing off hai people! :-P

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tag courtesy Akshay. Again, thank-you, :-)Now, a rule is that rules have to be mentioned :-D so, I ll better stick to the rules :-P

Rules1. Link the person who tagged you. 2. Mention the rules on your blog. [Yayy! I did]3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. 4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them. 5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged.

Here I go,

1. I love colours! In everything. All my notes have to be colour-coded [I re-write everything till I achieve the best notes], the clips that hold sheets together are according to specific colours for subjects, everything I own is of the perfect colour [according to me].

2. I need music while traveling every-day. While crossing the over-bridge at kurla station, if music doesn't flow into my ears, abuses flow outta my mouth. That can be kinda dangerous :-P

3. I am obsessed with my hair! I HAVE to change the way it is every 10 minutes. And now that I have cut them short, I have all the rights to keep touching them all the time!

4. I have to use smileys for each and everything when I chat. And when I have no comments, all I do is ":-|"

5. When I sit to study, My table has to be set in a particular way, considering my position to be center south; The book I am reading at the center, reference books to the north-west, scribbling pad to the south-east, water bottle/chewing gum reserves at the north-east, phone, just beside, south-west :-PNeedless to add, my entire room HAS to be set my me.

6. My laundry has to be done by me, just me! And, I have to use all the cool chemicals there are for laundry. Detergents [2 types], Vanish shakti O2 max, Ujala fabric whitener, Ujala stiff and shine, some stain remover; in that order!!!!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I am not the sensitive kind of people. Usually when random people blabber, I don't even bother to pay attention. If I barely know you, and you are talking crap and acting the PJ cracker, your jokes will not even penetrate my external ears, simply because I don't like pakau/popat/pathetic jokes. But when friends blabber, I join-in the blabbering. Their PJs, the most saddest jokes, make me roll on the floor laughing [not literally :-P] Maybe it is simply because of the fact that I appreciate their attempt to make things at ease and I like them, Of course I do, they are FRIENDS!

We all like laughing, don't we?
Its loads better than sitting in one corner and whining. If there is nothing genuinely funny around, its great to sit down with friends, exaggerate absolutely non-noticeable incidents, pull each others legs, and if we are still unable to extract a PJ, just simply sit back, look at each others futile attempts and laugh. Now I can't justify that, but there are certain friends whose mere sight is enough to get me giggling, a slight mention or even memory, brings a wide smile to my face. They are funny people and that is not what I wanna talk about right now.

Everyone seems to think that being funny is "in" and to be accepted in a group of friends, all one needs to do is crack jokes. I don't blame anyone, even I like to laugh. Plus, secretly I accept that I like people who make me laugh. But does that mean that everyone has to be humorous?

People don't know when to stop the whole act that was originally started for enjoyment, this is where they lack. They are all nice people with decent sense of humor, but they constantly cross that line and other people think its funny and you can't be a spoilt sport to take offense and at the end of the day they are your friends and it was just a joke and what will others think and aarrgghhhh......every possible aspect of the situation comes in front of you. Then its all up to you. Whether to object and ask them to shut the trash or laugh along and give them the benefit.

I personally believe, that if you can't tell them that you are uncomfortable, what good is your friendship for? Alright, they couldn't recognize the discomfort in your body-language, but never take home any incident that might have hurt you in any-way. Additionally, never pretend that life is all rosy, because by doing that, you will just be inviting another similar episode.It all boils down to the ability of laughing at one-self and comfort in tackling jokes to turn them into episodes of no offense and pure fun.More-over, when PJs are directed back to the person who initiated it all, that person in turn should not take offense, appreciate the joke and then the cycle can continue :-P

So PJ crackers, choose your victim well. If some-one objects, know when to stop. Your jokes might sound funny to you, for us they are traumatic. If all people laugh on things you say, they might even be laughing at you, think about it, think about it before opening your mouth, it is good friendship and trust at stake.

P.S. The post is directed towards a person from real-life and a particular set of people who are very dear to me. This strictly does not mean that I don't like jokes that are directed towards me or general PJs being cracked to derive fun.

Welcome to Shatabdi a.k.a. Express' page

Me is what me wants to be,Me is not just what you see..Me undergoes transitions,Me is under illusions.Me experiments under-takes,Me incurs many mistakes.Me chooses.Me refuses.Me is never just me alone,It is always a part of many others.