Thursday, December 22, 2011

Not all spam is bad spam

Spam to our blogs and emails is overall a bad thing. The gigabytes of spam that traverses the Net clogs email accounts, wastes bandwidth, and is overall a pain in the ass.

But not all spam is bad. The meat product is quite tasty, especially when fried up crisp and served with over-easy eggs.

But even Internet spam isn't all bad. Every day I get spam to one of my WordPress blogs. Most of it is crap. But some of it ... well, it's downright entertaining. The surreal quality of the non-native English speaker's attempts to get me to buy a product, or simply allow the backlink to remain on my server are delightful! Take this most recent example:

"I’ve to state that I respectfully disagree with some of this data as I have lots of encounter inside the make any difference, but I think you might have nevertheless designed a few superior details."

If you turn your head sideways, this one almost makes sense. The language has a simplistic flow, and there are both verbs and nouns to keep the interest. And yet - the message doesn't quite make it.

My other example is even more fun. Check it out:

"The majority of anything you state has become amazingly genuine and also it causes me and my friends want to know for what reason I personally hadnt investigated it within this light-weight just before. This approach element truly made button light upon to me as far as this sort of subject material moves. Is far more efficient an individual situation Get consequently as well secure by using whilst I aim in order to reunite that with the biggest perception of this challenge, allow everyone observe just what all the rest in the readership need to declare. Wonderfully succesfully done."

I love that one. I'm guessing an auto-translator, but I'm not sure even one of the bot translators on the Web would do such a bad job. No ... I'm thinking it was a lunatic.

1 comment:

Good observations. What you got WAS entertaining. All I get is a flood of meaningless referral spam. It distorts the data. Lately it APPEARS to be from right here, but they can fake anything. Once in a while a notorious spammer URL will send legit looking traffic, but I can't tell. Wish they'd at least leave humorous messages like yours. Thanks for the post.

When I was a kid I loved the classic vampire stories. As I grew up the stories changed until these days, they’re all about eternal love and how best to woo the heart of a teenage goth chick. Or, as Diana Trees puts it, they’re sparkly. In short, I have come to hate the vampire novel with a passion that rivals the depths of the emo self-pity felt by the average character in said books.

With that said, I happened across Diana Trees on Twitter and was immediately taken by the blurb on her account: “Vampires do not sparkle. They eat people.” How could I not dig deeper after reading that?! And so I did – for $.99 it was worth taking the risk.

I’ll admit I wasn’t sure right off the bat. The story felt a little odd at first, but not in a bad way. It had a nice flow to it and other than 1 or 2 exceptionally minor typos near the end of it, I was very satisfied with the mechanics of it. Sadly that is a rare thing in most interdependently published books, I’m sure even a few syntactical errors exist in some of my own books and those went through a publishing company.

The only problem I had with the book, if you can call it a problem, is how difficult it was for me to establish a rapport with the main character. After all, the main character is a vampire in a more traditional sense. She thinks and feels but she doesn’t pine away for some long lost love who has just been reborn into his or her great great great grandson’s body. The main character feels alien and vicious – and rightly so. Near the end I saw a bigger glimpse into her personal life that opened her up some. It was a good thing that showed character development. It made her feel a little more human without reducing her to glitter and sparkles.

Loved the introduction of some other supernatural beings without reducing it to the same old vampire vs. werewolf crap too. A fine job, Ms. Trees!

But there will be blood – and lots of it. Divine Wine does not lack in the blood and gore fest. I even contacted the author to mention I enjoyed her extremely gory book and she told me she appreciated the feedback and assured me I wasn’t to worry, the next one she’s working on has even more violence. Tuck the kids to bed and read it with the lights on and the doors locked!

It’s a novella and something I finished in a few minutes while waiting for the babysitter to arrive. Get it on Kindle or Nook – I recommend it for anyone who wants to spit in the face of the current trend in undead romanticism!

The paranormal erotica and romance genres have bloomed in recent years, and as anyone will tell you, much of the fare offered up is... well, pretty bland. The werewolves are emo, the vampires sparkle, everyone has flowing tresses and wears a lot of lace. Then comes along Diana Trees with 'Divine Wine', and - joy of joys! - the genre is as it should be. 'This little book is a racy, edgy, gritty grindhouse story, packed with intriguing characters and sexy monsters.

'Divine Wine' a short, sweet and gruesomely entertaining novella depicting the twisted tale of two predators - one human, and one not. The pair engage in a game of cat and mouse around the grimy docklands of New Jersey, culminating in violent confrontations with gang-bangers, innocent bystanders, and a pair of (strangely adorable) bonded ghouls.

I'm not usually a 'vampire person', but I was caught by the vivid depiction of Atlantic City at its seediest, and was helplessly drawn into the story by its atmosphere alone. Diana Trees has excellent pacing and style that makes for a thrilling read, never giving too much away about the characters or the outcome of the book. While possibly too dark for some, its not dark enough to be inaccessible, and if you're after visceral sensuality - the kind found in 'Silence of the Lambs' and 'American Psycho' - you'll probably get a kick out of 'Divine Wine'.

“Divine Wine” by Diana Trees is a fun story for readers that can handle the anti-hero concept with violence taken so far it becomes comical. The lead character seeks out violent criminals and places them in a nightmarish situation with every bit of inhumanity, brutality, and beyond what they gave to their victims. This “Evil meets Evil-er” story, not for the faint of heart, gets the reader laughing as the outrageous creatures have their own agenda outside of human society and are more than happy to bring in new criminals to satisfy their need for entertainment. Congratulations, four stars!