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[Static]
(Announcer)
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
He decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more, homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart,
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this... gotta do this...")
(Dr. Dre)
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
And try to get money out the drawer,
You better think of the consequence. (But, who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience.
(Eminem)
That's nonsense!
Go in, gaffle the money, and run to one of your aunt's cribs,
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs.
Tell her you need a place to stay.
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade.
(Dr. Dre)
Yeah, but if it all goes through like it's supposed to,
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you.
Think about it before you walk in the door first.
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns!
(Eminem)
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
(Dr. Dre)
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit. (Stop!) Drop the biscuit. (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you.
(Eminem)
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude...)
[Static]
("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")
(Announcer)
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
Things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")
(Eminem)
Now listen to me: while you're kissin her cheek
And smearin' her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink.
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.
(Dr. Dre)
Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old!
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair.
(Eminem)
Yo, look at her bush. Does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare,
'Till she passes out and she forgot how she got there.
(Dr. Dre)
Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie "Kids"?
(Eminem)
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Dr. Dre)
Shit, you gonna get hauled off to jail!
(Eminem)
Man, fuck that, hit that shit raw, dawg, and bail.
[Static]
[Pickup idling, radio playing]
(Announcer)
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
He walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
("What the fuck?!?!")
("Grady!!")
(Dr. Dre)
Alright, calm down, relax, start breathin'.
(Eminem)
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin'!
While you at work, she's with some dude tryin' to get off?
Fuck slittin her throat, cut this bitch's head off!
(Dr. Dre)
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(Eminem)
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?
(Dr. Dre)
Alright, Shady, maybe he's right, Grady,
But think about the baby before you get all crazy.
(Eminem)
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did. Be smart, don't be a retard.
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped Dee Barnes??!
(Dr. Dre)
What'd you say?
(Eminem)
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?
(Dr. Dre)
I'ma kill you motherfucker!
(Eminem)
Uh-uh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. "AK, comin' straight outta Compton, y'all better make way"?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
(Dr. Dre)
'Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went.
Been there, done that... aww, fuck it.
What am I sayin? Shoot 'em both Grady. Where's your gun at?
[Gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]