Sunday, 3 September 2006

T minus 61 hours!

My hair is wonderfully pink again... all of it this time, no more streaks for THIS cripple! It faded damn quickly last time and probably will this time too but I don't care, I have lovely pink hair for my trip and that's all that matters.

I think my crazy colours hairdye freak thing has to do with confidence [increasing/giving me confidence] but I can't seem to put my thought processes into the right words to explain it.

I think... I stand out from the crowd in many ways because I am disabled and in a wheelchair and that the reason I love to have red/blue/purple/pink hair is because it makes me stick out even more - but that it's something I can control. And sometimes I think that CP means there are plenty of things and others who have control over my life and not much life left for me to control.

The above paragraph shows just how many breakthroughs I have made since I began counselling again in April (?) and how far I have come. I am proud of myself for writing that paragraph.

In 61 ish hours I will be getting picked up for my trip and then by this time next week I will be home and it will be all over. I'm beginning to feel calmer. Still nervous but the end of the preparations is in sight which helps... Mum is coming to help me pack tomorrow night and after that I'm letting all but the last minute things (toothbrush, etc) go. Tuesday other than the docs and sailability will be a Spoon* conserving day.

This still feels so surreal and the whole thing is just one of the most wonderful examples of Serendipity I have ever experienced. I can't wait... and yet I can because I know once it starts those five days will fly by and the events I am dreaming of and longing for now will be nothing but memories to be cherished and kept for the rest of my life.

*That link is well worth a read. Especially for Chana, I really think you will like that site hon.