She had to make the toughest decision ever--what would you have done?

Hey guys, please welcome Liv, today's very special guest blogger. She was recently diagnosed with CML but the news came at the worst possible time: just weeks after she found out she was pregnant. Here, her amazing story in her own words. -ErinIt all started with the most wonderful day of my life. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for several months and finally got a positive pregnancy test. A few weeks later we went to the OB for my 8-week check up. The baby's heartbeat is strong and everything is on track. Yay! The standard blood test was taken and I thought nothing of it. Two days later my OB calls and says, "Um, your blood tests came back with really high white blood cell counts...it must have been a mix up at the lab." She proceeds to tell me to go back and have it re-tested. Fear comes over me, but I think, I feel fine, it must have been a mix up. I had been a little tired but that's to be expected with most pregnancies.

I call a coworker into my office and break down in tears and tell her I need to leave. My husband raced from work to get me and we run back to the lab. We asked them to rush the results as it was a Friday and I couldn't stand waiting all weekend for the news. We were grabbing a bite when we got the call. The blood test came back the same. Then the OB says, "it looks like leukemia or lymphoma...." My husband and I rushed to the car and broke down in tears. All I could think is wow, my life is over...and at 33. I had lost my dad and grandma to cancer (not leukemia) a few years ago and thought what did I do to deserve this? I called my mom first and then my sister. They both try to tell me not to freak out--an OB may not know all the details. I am still sick to my stomach with fear. I rush to an oncologist who asks that I get a bone marrow biopsy to get the bottom of it. I would not be able to have any anesthesia due to the pregnancy. Excruciating!

A few days later the results were in and I was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML). I had never heard of such a thing. All I knew is "I Have Cancer." My husband had been talking to a new client of his and it turned out she had CML too. She recommended I read Erin's book. I go to the bookstore to order it and before it ships my husband found Erin's blog on Glamour.com. I started reading all your individual stories and was so happy to learn of all the survivors. Once the book arrives I read it thoroughly. It helped a lot but I really wanted to talk to Erin on the phone. She happily accepts my invitation and she and I talk for awhile about our experiences. She comforts me and gives me hope.

The doctor tells me there are some treatment options, but as you know from reading about Erin's pregnancy journey, treating CML during pregnancy presents huge risks to the baby and me. In a subtle way, the doctor asks me if I want to keep or terminate the pregnancy. Fair question, I guess, as my chances for remission would be greatest if I terminate. But all I can think is that this baby saved my life--and I should save its. If I weren't pregnant, who knows how long the cancer would have been there before I went to a regular doctor? My husband and I get second and third opinions and research like crazy. After careful consideration, we decide to keep the pregnancy and for that I am blessed. I mean, what would you have done if you were in my shoes?

I am now 20 weeks pregnant and the baby is perfectly healthy and I am feeling fine. I go in every week for a blood test but the doctors are holding off on treatment for the sake of the baby. But they can't hold off forever. Once my white blood cell count hits 100,000 (normal is between 4 and 10,000), the doctors said they will have to start treatment. Right now my count is at 86,000. The plan is to do leukapherisis (blood is withdrawn from a vein and a machine is used to separate and remove the white blood cells) in hopes that it will lower the count until I reach my third trimester, which is six weeks away. Then I would start Gleevec. Unfortunately, there is no definitive research on the effects Gleevec has on babies as it's so new, but it appears to be safe to take in the third trimester. Still, there is no way to know and for that I am scared for my child. But I also know that I have to start treating myself. I worry that the side effects from Gleevec may make it hard for me to take care of a newborn, but I am not helping the baby if there is no mommy to care for him at all, right? I'd like to ask...what would you do if you were me? Thank you so much for listening.