I wish they would invent something that would upload the blog post that develops in my brain when I don't have access to a PC. I have several formulated in my head but not a minute to type it up.

Anyway.

It's been a rough few weeks over here. Work has royally sucked and made me miserable at home because I can't sleep or stop thinking about all the crap I have to deal with. But I'm hoping the worst of it has passed. My right hand man guy who quit? I got him to stay. I'm not even sure what happened - whether I convinced him or if he decided he was nuts and was waiting for a chance to change his mind. In any case, he's staying and that takes enormous pressure off of me. We went back and forth all day, and literally minutes before the happy hour we scheduled for his send off, he came in my office and put out his arms for a hug, sealing his decision to stay. After that, I dragged him to the bar and forced him to buy me a very large Goose & 7, and watched in delight as those who came to the going away party harrassed him unrelentingly for giving me more gray hairs than my 3 year old.

With that behind me, work is slightly more tolerable. My boss is a jerk and I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to work for him. I'm going to update my resume and start looking for another job. Boy that feels so good to "say" that out loud. Last week in the midst of everything I had a little mini breakdown and was so happy that my parents and husband were supportive. I expected everyone to tell me to just suck it up and be happy I have a job in this sucky economy. But they didn't. So I'm going to take it slow and see what I can find. Maybe nothing, maybe something, we'll see. But I've been at this company 10 years and I think it's time.

A funny little thing happened which also convinces me it's time to go. CrazyAuntPurl had a little post about signs the other day, so that concept was in my head. After a particularly crappy work incident (which involved my boss saying "sorry', me saying "no you're not" and him saying "you're right I'm not" hello are you twelve) I was in the car, stuck in traffic and thinking about my job situation and if I should really leave. All of a sudden I look up and see a billboard that says: "Recession 101: Self worth beats Net Worth". It was so weird because there were no other words on the billboard and you couldn't even figure out what the ad was for (turns out it was from here). So I'm taking it as a sign, literally!

Now when I say my boss is a jerk, I am not kidding. He's not usually a jerk to me, just a jerk in general. But he's quite arrogant and competitive (which he freely admits) and most times I just deal with it, and sometimes even use his rough personality to my advantage - I talk to him like he talks to me and he seems to appreciate that he doesn't have to be all prim and proper with me. But lately it's been too much. He's been dismissive and inconsiderate and I'm tired of it. He allows a colleague to say negative things about me, tells me about it and then does nothing. He consults other people and makes decisions on my department without involving me. I complained about it the other day and he wasn't supportive at all. I said "so what you're saying is stop being a baby and just suck it up". His answer? "Yeah pretty much". Nice right?

But the last straw came the other day. We both witnessed a woman berating her husband in a public place. She was yelling at him about taking too long with what he was doing. When we were out of their earshot, he turned to me and said "Thats why women get beat".

Seriously.

Are you horrified? I was. Stunned into silence in fact - and believe me it takes alot to render me speechless. I didn't do anything about it. If I say something it will cause a whole big thing and it will just be worse. What would you have done? It's not me, right? That's pretty damn awful to say to a woman, let alone your subordinate, right?

It's okay to leave, but you better take your right hand man with you or he will be very mad at you for leaving HIM, when he stayed for YOU. Start your own business and be your own boss! Anyway, I was at work the other day and was a little annoyed with my husband for staying up too late the night before when he knew he had kids to watch all day, then he called me at work to tell me he was at Wal-mart picking something up and the kids had been at his mom's all day. I said, "pick up some shampoo and some milk and go get those kids, don't leave them with your mom all day just cause you don't want to watch them, that's rude." When I got off the phone, the doctor who I was working with said, "damn Kate Gosslin" to me. I was SOO MAD. But really I think men just say stupid stuff and think it's funny.

That was a crazy thing for him to say but so often the execs are part of the ole boys club and they don't even know any better. If it makes you feel any better my team leader (who acts like my boss) is a psycho and you never know which person she will be. My actual boss doesn't have time to deal with anything of any consequence. Most times it is a perfectly fine job but boy there are those days...

Any man that thinks that is funny scares me. Is he married?? Anyway, good luck with the search. Looking while employed is a lot less pressure so that is a good thing. And I'm with Lori, take that right hand man with you!!