One of my ex-girlfriends told me that she wants an open relation. At that time I was kind of losing interest in her, so I said that it is fine with me. Week later she accused me of having sex with my female friend (I like my friend very much, but I was not sexually attracted to her). We had a loud argument, all our neighbors could hear it. Shortly after that she left me for a college professor; he had PhD in English literature, and he was not making tons of money. Some would say that she did it for love, but she left him after couple of months for a member of Communist Party, who was working as a part time driver delivering books by Marx and Mao to local Communists.
All these events happened before I became a Scientologist.

She called me on the phone 8 years after our beak- up, I was no longer a Scientologist at that time. She had a job as a garment designer and was rich. She was still with the Communist guy. We met at a bar. I told her my Scientology story. She said I was nuts, and I agreed with her.

“This OT shit is driving me insane. On a positive side, I laugh a lot these days because I’m at a funny farm.”
L. Ron Hubbard

Readyforaction wrote:OK, it is my intention for this post to take you up to the point where I truly believe Scientology is excised from my life. I may or may not make it there, I hope so. Then I will come up to this year and why I am now posting on this board in another (or several more) posts.

I spent the next several months settling into single life. I can honestly say that single life for me was easier than being married. I am ashamed to say that I had spent many a night while married hoping that my ex would get in a wreck while driving home drunk so it would just be over and I could get on with life. I truly believed that I was permanently trapped in the hell that was my marriage and his death was the only way out.

It is very hard for anyone who has suffered abuse to talk about it. That is why it was so easy to understand that Paul McCartney's wife, Heather, was lying about being abused by him. She started screaming abuse from the treetops. Someone who was abused does not yell it from the treetops, especially while they are still connected to the abuser. Ask Marc or Claire Headley, ask Guilliame Leserve, ask Heber Jentzsch ask scores of people abused by Miscavige.

Before he/she begins to abuse you, the first thing an abuser makes you do is make you believe you deserve the abuse. I had college degrees. My ex dropped out of High School. Yet he had me convinced that there was no way I could make it in the world without him. The mental abuse eats away at the edges of the mind much more covertly than the physical abuse eats away at the body. The mental abuse is also something that is harder to admit and even harder to identify or excise from your life. You can see a physical scar and take understand where it came from. The mental scars jump out at you in the middle of a conversation, usually at the most inconvenient or awkward times and follow you around for life.

All of us are flawed human beings. Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature to accept other peoples' judgments that we have done something wrong. Only people with severe personality disorders will prey on this nature. These are also the people who believe only the good you say about them and punish you for the bad you say about them. My ex-husband is one of these people. We also know who another one of these people is.

I did not talk about my marriage. Most people knew I was divorced but had no clue even what his name was. I had physical custody. He had visitation rights, which he rarely exercised. I did not tell my children much about their father, I chose to let them know him on their own terms. I discussed this with a friend shortly after my divorce and got the best advice I'd ever gotten in my whole life, advice I've lived by. "Don't ever badmouth your ex to your children. He's their father. Would you like it if someone talked bad about one of your parents?"

We fell into a good routine. After my father died, about a week after I got my inheritance I got a strange call from a man named John Barber. He was the local Registrar for the Scientology Org in Salt Lake City. He wanted me to come in and get some auditing. I asked him why? I wasn't a Scientologist. He hemmed and hawed and said JoAva Good had said to call me. I asked how he knew her. He said she was the ED of the Org. I responded "well as long as she is running the place, I won't set foot in there." and hung up on him.

He didn't call back, but it got me wondering how and why all of a sudden I would be hearing from them. I called the only person I knew who had been in any way connected to Scientology and still talked to me, I'll call him *Paul* here so the narrative goes smoothly.

I told him I was buying a house and asked him to come over and see the new baby grand piano I had bought with some of my inheritance. He asked if he could bring his camera. I said sure. I had a bottle of wine ready when he came over. I showed him my piano and played some tunes for him on it. We discussed what neighborhoods I should look for a house, how my career was going (I told him I was tired of law and was thinking of going elsewhere - whoops I lied, I worked for one of the Senior Partners at that firm, we still communicate, I stayed at the law firm until I left SLC).

He came over and was taking lots of pictures of me, my possessions, etc. etc. and we were talking, he was drinking wine. I nursed a cup. He didn't notice.

We were sitting at the table snacking on some cheese, his camera sitting next to him and I finally said to him "Paul, I really though **** would get you in the divorce, you were much better friends with him than me."

He said "Oh, I cant talk to (your ex) any more, he got kicked out of Sea Org and declared an SP after you divorced him."

I looked at him for a minute. He then realized what he had said.

"Sea Org? I said, he was never in Sea Org."

"Oh, did I say Sea Org, I meant Scientology, he did something stupid and they declared him."

"Paul?"

"Sh*t"

I reached for his camera. He put his head down on the table and started mumbling "please don't tell them please don't tell them, they'll declare me too."

I opened the back of his camera, took out the film and held it up to the light, carefully exposing the entire undeveloped roll frame by frame. I then took a pair of scissors and began to cut up the film.

"Please stop."

"Paul, just leave."

"May I have my camera."

"Here's your camera, here's your film."

He tried calling me for the next 4 or 5 weeks several times a day. My answering machine was working overtime. Each time he left some new lie on it. It's amazing the different lies they came up with for him to tell.

I did not save a copy of the letter I wrote to the high Church Official who helped me escape. I wish I had. I wish that man no harm, though he has been harmed enough by Miscavige. My only hope for him is that he can still escape alive.

I basically told this man that he had promised me in 1979 that I would be free from Scientology, that I would never hear or have anything to do with it again. Now it was 1985, 6 years after the fact and I told him I knew my husband was a Sea Org plant and that he had been following me. I told him I knew about the people who had employed me, I told him I knew "Paul" was my new caretaker. I told him I knew enough to still get the church in a lot of trouble and that the choice was now up to them.

I reminded him that no one had signed anything, we were all free to talk, but they had destroyed all documents, and I had not. I still had information which would incriminate them. I said I was willing to risk my freedom to go to the FBI at that point if the Church felt they had the right to keep following me. I reminded him that I probably wouldn't go to jail if I went voluntarily to the FBI and told them all I knew but that others who had escaped prosecution for Operation Snow White could still be punished. I ended it by telling him that if they backed off and left me alone, I would keep my verbal agreement and keep my mouth shut.

A week later, I received an unsigned handwritten note in an envelope postmarked from Los Angeles with no return address.

We have called off the dogs.

To the best of my knowlege, he kept that promise, that is the last I heard from them until 2012.

Pretty amazing.

I'm not surprised he was $ea Org. How creepy is it that he would keep something like that from you?

I'm glad you're sharing all this information.

I doubt they have the fire power to go after you today. They are dealing with 10 other shit storms at the moment.

Here's Jabba the Hub as he writes crappy sci-fi while his wife sits prison...OT Priorities personified!!!

Thank you for telling your story. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I am glad you made a better life for yourself.
Your story is fascinating from many angles, particularly the part about your interaction with Hubbard. The Indies who wax all poetic about "the old man" should only know your story.
Your story implies that there may be many other ex's out there who still don't tell their story because it would sound even more crazy and unbelievable than the stories already out there. What they did to you is on a level more sinister than Miscavige's beatings. Although you were also physically abused, it sounds like the scars they left in your mind were the hardest to heal from.
I'm so glad you are recovering now.

villagedianne wrote:Thank you for telling your story. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I am glad you made a better life for yourself.
Your story is fascinating from many angles, particularly the part about your interaction with Hubbard. The Indies who wax all poetic about "the old man" should only know your story.
Your story implies that there may be many other ex's out there who still don't tell their story because it would sound even more crazy and unbelievable than the stories already out there. What they did to you is on a level more sinister than Miscavige's beatings. Although you were also physically abused, it sounds like the scars they left in your mind were the hardest to heal from.
I'm so glad you are recovering now.

Excellent points.

All the Kool-aid slurping indies would be surprised to know what a world class sleaze bucket he was.

You'd think just knowing that he got his wife sent to prison would be enough to convince people he was a completely depraved piece of shit, but apparently people don't have enough of a moral compass that they still need more information.

Here's Jabba the Hub as he writes crappy sci-fi while his wife sits prison...OT Priorities personified!!!

Readyforaction, I am floored by this story although I've read enough ex-Scientologists' stories by now to no longer be 'surprised' by much. I realize that it is very easy for me, a couch critic, to say this, and I am not really looking for a public answer, but please PLEASE consider going to the FBI with your story. If they have no use for it after so many years, so be it, but what makes me so physically ill are stories like yours where the abuser gets away with the abuse.

I wish that some journalist (paging Tony Ortega) would interview you and get your story out there. Your story is absolutely amazing.

Readyforaction wrote:I have things to say about the two posts above and will get to them when i can, but I have to say this while it is fresh and raw.

The name of the attorney I called in 1983 to get the restraining order was Ken. I worked with him first as a secretary then a Paralegal until I moved to Wyoming in 1993. He became more than a boss. I saw him through some rough times including his divorce and he saw me through some rough times.

We were friends, he was 12 years older than me and he protected me as an older brother. We attended a funeral of a mutual attorney friend, Mike, together. In his eulogy, Ken discussed Mike's favorite movie and his favorite line in the movie. He ended the eulogy with that line: "he will be missed."

Ken and I kept in touch after I moved. He was my voice of reason and I'd like to believe I was his. We didn't talk every day, not even every week, but we did talk frequently. If I needed an attorney, I went to him, even though he lived 200 miles away and if he needed an accountant he came to me.

Yesterday, I faxed over a resume to a potential client. As a courtesy, I called to let Ken know I was using him as a reference.

"Hi, Pam, is Ken there?"

"Oh, you are on my list I was just going to call you."

"Why, what's up!"

11 days ago he was diagnosed with cancer.

He died yesterday shortly after his 70th birthday.

He will be missed.

Sorry for your loss.

Here's Jabba the Hub as he writes crappy sci-fi while his wife sits prison...OT Priorities personified!!!

I really don't know what to say, Readyforaction, except for thank you for your courage here. I was never in the church so I can't even imagine, but you have given a real gift here by telling your story and I believe those of you who tell your stories in this kind of detail, with this kind of bravery, actually save lives. We never know who is lurking, thinking about joining the church.

Anyway, thank you. Your story reminds me of a story I read on Ex-Scientologists Message Board....the woman who writes calls it "Chicken Joe In the Cauldron" about her experience....

Wow ~ EXCELLENT thread ~ this is just an amazing story of your life in Scientology ~ thank you so much for posting it.

I feel compelled to encourage you to write a book ~ and use the names you are afraid to use. Expose the Church of Scientology to the world. Get some support from ANONYMOUS and any of us exes - also attorney, Ray Jeffries (attorney that helped Debbie Cook and attorney - Theodore Babbitt - he is representing Luis Garcia who is currently suing the Church for fraud)

Please think about it - not only is your writing just profound - you may heal more completely by telling the World what Scientology, L Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige DID TO YOU!!

Also, you will possibly help those in get out and prevent anyone else from getting involved in this very dangerous and insane CULT!

You are amazing to have survived this - just amazing! I send you love and peace and totally support you with whatever decision you make. THANK YOU! You filled in more gaps to this evil and covert CULT - the truth is setting us all free. Bless you and your family. I am sitting on pins and needles to find out MORE!!