Kelly invites everyone to a Diwali celebration so they can have a night out and learn about Indian culture and the Hindu Festival of Lights. At the event, the gang samples Indian cuisine, Ryan has to meet Kelly's parents, and Michael asks Carol an important question. Over at the Stamford branch, Andy, Karen and Jim work a late night and indulge in a little drinking at the office.

Michael: Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. 'What is Diwali?' you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, 'It's, blah blah blah blah. It's so super, fun, and it's gonna be great!' Lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Michael: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who has seen that before?Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.Meredith: Oh, that's what they call it!Kevin: This is the best meeting that we have ever had.Michael: Thank you, Kevin.Angela: You know, I find this incredibly offensive.Michael: Well, I find it beautiful.Angela: Well, whatever Kelly wants to do in her own house is fine, but we shouldn't all be subjected to it.Toby: Actually, she's right. This is inappropriate. Why don't I take these.Michael: No, you're not going to collect them-Toby: Yeah...Michael: No! This is delightful, charming culture.

Pam: It's hot in there. How's the naan?Angela: Dry. You look like you were having fun.Pam: I am. You should come dance with us.Angela: I have to watch our shoes, so they don't get stolen.

Karen: Hey dummy! Get in the car!Jim: I'm a drunk driver.Karen: Yes you are.

Michael: Carol? Carol Stills? I would like you to do me the honor of making me your husband. Carol: Oh... Michael. Michael: What do you say? Carol: Can we talk about this in private? Michael: I didn't hear you. Carol:(louder) Can we talk about this in private? Michael:(whispering) Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Okay. (drops microphone and walks away)

Cultural References

Michael: Apu, from The Simpsons. Hilarious Indian.

During his slideshow, Michael makes a reference to the only Hindu character on The Simpsons, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Andy: Rollercoastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension-filled type of deal. It’s very Sam and Diane.

Andy is referring to the 1980s sitcom Cheers, and two of its main characters, Sam Malone and Diane Chambers.