I Was Practically Sleep The Whole Debate

The time to vote for your favorite candidate is getting closer and I can’t pack my bags fast enough. Lord knows other countries are watching these presidential debates laughing, as if they’re sitting in on a Katt Williams comedy special.

As the clocks ticks, as Donald Trump flaunts this so called “locker room talk”; who talks like that in a locker room anyway? Time is running out. A one-way flight to Costa Rica is $489 and that’s without tax. I suggest all of you start saving up, immediately.

Whoever is elected, Clinton, Trump, Stein, Kanye West; I will be able to tell this survival story, if I survive, to my grandkids, if I have any. The topics we love as individuals are becoming gimmicks. Politics seem to be on its last leg. The music industry exposes us to a new artist everyday. And who cares about the World Series? The rich are getting richer and the poor are practically dead.

Hillary has been coughing this entire election. And Trumps’ eyelids look like tablecloths glued onto two golf balls. As a reader of the New York Times, I ask, when is enough enough? There is a new twist, a new fact, a new videotape everyday; I’ve had enough.

The policies of both these candidates have dramatically changed over the course of this election. Clinton is on tape categorizing black people as super-predators. America was never great. Trump is a cowardly old man that dodges more questions than a Love and Hip Hop reality star.

When my ballot is placed there will be at least 20 monkeys that lift off of my shoulders. As Americans we are tired. This election is like taking a handful of shots in a room full of unattractive women. Although you do not want to go home with one of them, you have no chance, they’re the only women in the bar.