Last night, while delivering the GOP rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union Address, an obviously-parched Senator Marco Rubioreached for a bottle of water. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly as graceful as a ballerina. Actually, it was more akin to a 1,000-pound man lunging for the last shrimp at an all-you-can eat buffet. But was this brief human moment worth all the ridiculous hoopla that the media is giving it? Nah, it’s already water under the bridge.

Yesterday, Kate Upton was announced as the cover girl of Sport Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue! And tonight, President Obama delivers the State of the Union Address! Guess which of these things more Americans care about? C’mon Barry, it’s time to give the people what they want!

It's been reported that Pope Benedict XVI will be resigning from his post due to "advanced age". We can't help but wonder if the Pontiff's been feeling pressure to step down ever since we named him as one of 2010's 20 dumbest people of the year.

When Bush family e-mails were hacked last week, among the leaked information were photos of paintings made by none other than former President George W. Bush. We were shocked to learn that W. has an artistic side, but not so shocked by the paintings’ amateurish mediocrity — the very quality we look for in all MAD illustrators!

Today, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he will be stepping down on February 28th. That means that after only 8 years in office, the job is open once more! (And in this economy, any job opening is something to get excited about) Still, we have to wonder if any of the candidates who were passed over the last time will be reconsidered for the chance to wear the giant pointy hat.