Tuesday, February 02, 2010

But They Are So Normal

The post on anti~homeschooling views at Why Homeschool got me thinking about a conversation I had a few years ago with some Soccer Moms. My boys have been involved in recreational soccer for a number of years and my husband is usually the coach or assitant coach. So I know the parents and kids pretty well. These are all nice intelligent women who care passionately about their kids. So we are all sitting around on the bleachers watching our kids practice soccer when one of the mom's announces that "She doesn't know why anyone would homeschool. All homeschooled kids are social misfits that can't hack "real" school". I calmly announce that I homeschool (you could have heard a pin drop - I definitely heard her jaw hit the ground). Then she replied in shock "But they are so normal and added they were the exception to the rule" at which point I just had to point out that three of the other boys on the team were also homeschooled. She couldn't believe it, and the three other boys were so normal that she couldn't manage to pick them out either.

After further discussion I learned that she didn't realize she knew kids that were homeschooled. All she knew about homeschooling she had gleaned from magazine articles. And that she was feeling guilty because her son was doing poorly in school and wanted to be homeschooled. At this point a public school teacher added her two cents which was that homeschoolers were usually more well rounded students. And while some public school teachers may be anti~homeschooling, it's important for us to remember that not all of them are. I have exchanged lesson plans and classroom ideas with many public school teachers I am acquainted with and when I have run into problems they have always been willing to help me. In fact it was one of Jonathan's public school teachers that first put the idea of homeschooling in my head.

So maybe homeschoolers should start talking about homeschooling more when we are in public. I had known these ladies for a number of years, but the only one who knew I homeschooled (we had exchanged lesson plan ideas) was the public school teacher. After all if people don't realize they know nice sane homeschool families can we blame them for believing the misinformation they read in the media? After my friend got over her initial embarrassment at having put her foot in her mouth we had a nice productive conversation about homeschooling. A conversation that wouldn't have happened if I had gotten defensive.

I've coached about a dozen of seasons of youth basketball and baseball. In all that time, I'd guess maybe 10% of the parents ever knew we homeschooled. I don't bring it up unless asked, and I guess my son is so "normal" that it never ocurred to anybody to ask.

"A conversation that wouldn't have happened if I had gotten defensive."

It's so easy to hear an accusation in another's tone--even when it's not there. And the normal reaction is to get your back up. But controlling that normal reaction can lead to interesting places, as you describe here.

Once, I thought I heard that tone of accusation in my step-mom's voice. I tried very hard to control my tone of voice to see where this was coming from--and it turned out that she had always longed to homeschool her own kids and currently wishes she could homeschool her grandkids.

My boss is working with relativly low cost overseas online tutors withdegrees, and was wondering what subject home school mothers have thehardest time teaching and would be most likely to want help with anonline tutor. I decided best way to find out was to ask people homeschooling for the answer to his question. Is that something I can askand could get answer for him here?

First, I'd like to say good for you! It is better to be less offended by the ignorant people say about homeschooling. You are doing a positive thing about spreading the truth about homeschooling.

Some people just need to understand that homeschooled children are not ALWAYS socially awkward. Even if some of them are, it doesn't matter because they are most likely ten times more intelligent than the public schooled kids.

In our local homeschooling group we have at least 3 former or current public school teachers. I think many teachers would easily admit that what they do is more class room management and less inspiring learning.

You're right that we benefit when we can talk openly can casually about homeschooling as something normal and reasonable people can, and do, do.

Welcome Goddesses of Spring

Hail, and welcome! Green life returns to the earth blooming and blossoming once more from the soil. We welcome you,goddesses of spring, Eostre, Persephone, Flora, Cybele, in the trees, in the soil, in the flowers, in the rains, and we are grateful for your presence.

Prayer to the Winter Goddess

O! Mighty goddess, in silvery ice,watching over us as we sleep,a layer of shining white,covering the earth each night,frost on the world and in the soul,we thank you for visiting us.Because of you, we seek warmthin the comfort of our homes and hearths.

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About Alasandra

Former Homeschool MomEldest son has a Masters in Computer ScienceYoungest son has a B.A. Degree in History with a minor in Political Science