Monotonous poking

As we get older our quality of sleep deteriorates. I know this because Richard Fidler told me on a podcast today and I believe everything that man tells me. I also know this because my children meet each evening with clipboards and stopwatches to synchronize and plan ‘operation deep wrinkles’, this involves an hourly, rigorous, make her open her eyes program.

There were the usual events last night, a glass of water here, a toilet stop there, but the real fun began closer to dawn. I know this because I could hear the mosque in the background. This wasn’t what woke me up, it was the beagle pushing against the back of my legs and the breath of a seven year old boy tickling my nose. After leg pressing the beagle from the end of the bed, I rolled the seven year old towards his father and went back to sleep.

The second time, someone was poking me in my arm. Over and over, monotonous poking, same spot, every second, poking. “Everything okay?” I asked, praying the request didn’t involve clean sheets and a change of clothes. “Can I have a drink of your water?” she said with the glass to her lips.

The third time I woke up, I heard footsteps running in to the room, the fourth Little Traveller was airborne, heading straight towards me as he squealed “I’m five, I’m five, it’s finally my birthday!” I smiled with one eye open and suggested he retrieve his sisters for present opening. I immediately closed my eyes again, searching for the elusive and highly unlikely ‘5 more minutes’.

Once again, the breath of the third Little Traveller. He’s slept through it all.

Another small body slid on to the bed. And then a muffled sound. What was that sound? The second Little Traveller is gently calling his name. She’s whispering in the sweetest tone, with a smile in her voice, she asks him “Are you awake?”

Why doesn’t anyone wake me up like that, gently, whispering my name. I’m touched for a moment by how sweet she is with her brother. What was she saying to him?

“I just farted on your face”.

And so the day begins.

*if you’re looking for a good podcast, try Richard Fidler, he gives good interview and even better, he’s free! If you have any other podcast suggestions I’d love to hear them.

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