If Meadow Ben’s Dave Holden does not turn you over in a legitimate manner, there is the distinct possibility that he might strangle you with his gargantuan hands and forge the scorecard.

His wedding ring alone resembles a section of copper pipe and his tumbling hair – which has the habit of falling into a centre parting – has that look of severe graft about it.

He is a big fella. And whilst the table tennis hall does not exactly shake upon him taking his position in front of the five feet wide Cornilleau table, Richter-like rumbles are heard once he begins to throw himself around.

Decked out in black Joola top and shorts with Puma socks and Stiga trainers, Holden is either a sponsor’s dream or the man sat in reception each day eyeing up a potential deal. The stats are there to warrant maybe a minuscule business association (2012/13 50% Div1, 2013/14 67% Div1, 2014/15 70% Div2), but what is particularly noticeable is Holden’s low attendance on the Bolton circuit.

Not over-extending himself - generally making seven match-night appearances each season – he does what many do by juggling larger Bury commitments across the border. The Carlton Club, former Nomads’ and now Meadow Ben player exudes a rare confidence no matter which region he is performing in. Of redoubtable stock, Holden stalks his opponents as if auditioning for David Attenborough’s The Hunt.

This was a strange evening in that Harper’s no.1, Dave Jones was away in Geneva and no.3, Dave Brookes not picking up and so an experimental three was hastily assembled: Roger Bertrand vacuumed out of retirement; Jim Bolton making his expectant debut; Jeff Weston attempting to correct a torrid season.

The reality, however, in league terms was 10th versus 2nd; Division Two newbies against adroit ‘members of the bar’. Meadow’s tall, Kangol-wearing Peter Cooper was mauled a little – losing to Bertrand 15-13, 9-11, 11-9, 7-11, 8-11 and scraping through against Bolton and Weston (each in four games) - but otherwise the night went with the form book; James Bollard, in particular – tattoos beaming from his forearms – making a statement via his three short wins.

Jim Bolton, Harper’s secret weapon from Wigan, battled with the perspicacity of a foreign spy but the shot variation of Holden and muscle of Bollard proved too much. Even for Bolton’s lucky ‘Sunday roast’ socks.

Please make the most of the features. Use the filtering options on the right to narrow the information down to exactly what you need e.g. you may just want to see the fixtures of your club or just one team. Filter the averages to how you want them. You may want % average instead of wins. Change it to how you want it.

Many of the headings when clicked change the order of presentation. A list may seem to be in a random order. Click the heading to put it into order. Click it again to reverse the order.

Have you tried clicking on your name in the current or archive league to get a full list of everyone you have played together with full scores?