BOOK REVIEW (Davidson Institute) - This book review states how Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Help Your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends is a great reference guide for your child in helping them deal with the struggles of making and keeping friends. As of 2010, this book is out of print, but the author has published an updated and revised edition with Jossey-Bass that has been re-titled, Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends, which is available on Kindle.

Reviewed by Davidson Institute for Talent Development.

Good Friends Are Hard to Find is an essential resource for any family with a child struggling with making or keeping friends. A leading expert on children’s social skills and the Director of UCLA Parent Training & Children’s Social Skills Programs, author, Dr. Fred Frankel, spends part of his time as a psychologist at UCLA where he trains pediatricians, psychologists, social workers, and child psychiatrists. This book is based on techniques he uses in the Parent Training & Children’s Social Skills Programs and is written for both parents and professionals.

In today’s fast paced world with working parents and afterschool activities, children have little time to create lasting, meaningful, one-on-one friendships. Frankel shares that many children suffer from friendship problems even aside from busy family schedules – 15% of children do not have any friends at all, and contrary to popular belief, it is not due to parenting. For these particular situations, Frankel states that conventional therapy does not work and, based on research, one-on-one play dates are the best solution.

Frankel wrote Good Friends Are Hard to Find in an easy-to-read format, providing step-by-step directions and checklists on how parents and professionals can help prepare a child with the skills needed to address friendship problems, when and should they arise. Frankel offers practical advice on a wide range of friendship issues:

Part 1: Finding Friends

Making Time for Friends

Curbing Interests That Prevent Friendships

Developing Interests that Attract Friends

Finding Friends in your Neighborhood

Using Organized Activities to Find Friends

Part 2: Making Friends

Joining Others at Play

Becoming a Good Sport

Looking for Closer Friends & Joining A Friendship Circle

Using the Telephone to Make Closer Friends

Having Fun Play Dates

Becoming a Better Host

Part 3: Keeping Friends

Encouraging Good Choices

Discouraging Bad Choices

Listening to Your Child’s Worries

Having Friends Stolen

Losing a Close Friend

Moving Away

Part 4: Dealing with Teasing, Bullying, and Meanness

Taking the Fun Out Of Teasing

Stopping Rumors

Staying Away From Children Who Fight

Dealing With Children Who Bully

Part 5: Helping Your Child Out of Trouble

Not Noticed By Classmates

Overcoming Hyperactive Behavior

Improving Your Child’s Bad Reputation

Working With Adults Who Have Trouble with Your Child

Stopping Your Child’s Fighting

Stopping Your Child’s Bullying

This book is a valuable resource for any parent or professional whose student has no one to play with, is getting picked on at school, is bullying others, or is moving away from friends. Good Friends Are Hard to Find can be read cover to cover or be used as a reference book whenever a child is experiencing a particular problem.

Permission Statement

This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.

The appearance of any information in the Davidson Institute's Database does not imply an endorsement by, or any affiliation with, the Davidson Institute. All information presented is for informational purposes only and is solely the opinion of and the responsibility of the author. Although reasonable effort is made to present accurate information, the Davidson Institute makes no guarantees of any kind, including as to accuracy or completeness. Use of such information is at the sole risk of the reader.