Most Helpful Guy

Just friend zone the shit out of him. Tell him to sit in a chair and then use tape to make a square around him on the floor and say, "See that? That's the fuckin friend zone right there, and where are you sitting". And he'll look down and say, "The friend zone" and you say "Damn right". Then say, "When you gettin out?" Then he says, "Next week?" Then you hit him with a golf club and say, "Nah, NE VER" . "Repeat after me, "NE VER". Then after he repeats it 10 more times write friend zone on his forehead. Then chop off his balls and tell him how pretty his vagina looks.