New Team, New Continent, Same Mark Trumbo Defense

“It’s a great day for a ball game in Australia; let’s misplay two!” – Ernie Banks, watching Mark Trumbo’s attempt at defense in the Diamondbacks’ season opening 3-1 loss to the Dodgers.

We are not entirely certain why Arizona traded for Mark Trumbo in the offseason, but if they intended for him to be their answer in left field, they may be better served playing with five infielders and two outfielders instead. Trumbo’s first blunder was simple enough – a blooper toward the left field line that gave the newest D-back delusions of emulating former teammate Mike Trout. This, however, was no Trout-like effort. It was more of a flounder.

Proving that was no fluke, Trumbo doubled down Down Under with one of the more spectacular outfield fails we are likely to see all season.

Australians have not been witnesses to such poor judgment since Paul Hogan chose to make the sequels to “Crocodile” Dundee.

Rumor has it that Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson has pushed the front office to work out a deal to leave Trumbo behind in Syndey by trading him to Team Australia for a case of Foster’s Lager.