Then there's always plenty of plankton in the ocean at the beach. And, of course, don't forget pelicans, so we give you the plankton' pelican--a website dedicated to punning, poetry, and all manner of lyin' of the innocent sort.

*The term plankton comes from Greek, planktos,"errant," and leans toward the meaning of "wanderer."

*Pelican is related to to the Greek, pelekys "ax." 'Ax' not what this website can do for you but what you can do for this jabberwobblied jungle.;-)

What did the pelicans say as they flew off from the roof of a beach cottage?

​Been there, dung that.;-)

Heard the story about the 'fun-gal' and the 'fun-guy'?

The couple, Gus and Gal, thought a great way to spend an evening was dining out on mushroom-stuffed cuisine.

"It's a lot of fun,Gus said;-).

--Daniel Wilcox-

The Quaker lady in Northwest Yearly Meeting endured her husband's groaning puns, but she had a bone to pick with him when he commented on her accidentallybanging her elbow (the funny bone) on his filing cabinet in their study.

For he laughed and said, That's very 'humerus.'

--Anon.

__

Sitting Duck

There in the urban lagoonYou are sitting drunkGabbled to the barWaiting for the sotted-shotTo blastThrough your flapped brainOne more mallardFor the boat-tender

--Daniel WilcoxFirst published in Word Riot,also in Dark Energy,2009 by Diminuendo Press__

Clammy Chops

I scooped in one huge mouthful of savory chowderSwimming with succulent salmon reconnoiteringWild from Alaska—my taste buds buzzed into singing,But the stupid phone in the kitchen rang, yanking me.

I dropped my creamy spoon and rushed through the open door--Wrong number! Frustrated, I slammed down the white thing,Tended to nagging errands clanging for attention;But then heard a loud slurp ... slurping 'round the den corner.

--Daniel WilcoxFirst published in vox poetica,also in my book of previously published poems,selah river, 2012__

Heard about the Catholic-Mormon couple who had a large family of a dozen kids?

A negative neighbor criticized, "Haven't they heard of family planning?"

But another more philosophical neighbor with a bit of wit said,"No, but they've heard of family planting! Lots of nights of no dozin'. "

--Anon.___

"I've traveled all over America," Sam stated.

--Anon.___

Ah, Bird Poop Van

Ah, bird poop van,there in the far corner of the fast food lotwhere wind-blown paper congregates,and you squat against the curb,

a rusted Ford Econoline home,spattered with a thousand puked starburstsof smell on your dull finish,a metal fadedness of has been.

Your owner in his tourist-trash hatand long dirty hair hanging to his collar,squats on the splattered grass,grizzled before his future demise,a throwback to Ashburywhere he used to panhandle.

He sits with his wilted wildflowerin her faded jeans splotched with patches,sipping their mocha coffee on the matted grasswary for the squad car to cruise by again,and roust them out of their corner nestunder the gilded arches.

But, oh, you rest and rust so easy–at least there are no fowl in sight.

--Daniel WilcoxFirst published in The Bicycle Review,also in amphibi.us, Dead Snakes, and the poetry collection, selah river__

No, Eve, I won't touch that apple," he said adamantly.

__Anon.__

The So n' So Argument

A modern couple lives on the seismic lineThis of Sam 'n Andrea as in the city, so summeredOf Gardena, you know, Ada-'n Eve-r on, oh so pummedTheir hysterical house divided down geological;

They argue and argue until at the crack of dawnDisplaced tension 'rictors' up through their disjunction,Until, until...they both shout, bellow so loud, "So,It's YOUR fault, not mine."

--Daniel WilcoxFirst published in Media Virus Magazine,also in selah river__

"My pet whale has died," Ahab blubbered.

--Anon.__

Gum Up

Notice how ‘theoillogicalies’Gum up the worded worlds

Stretchnosepuppet the truthTongue-twisting

Jaw-chewing, teeth gnawingIt all out of shapeAndAre the ‘dickens-dammed,’Bubblegummed worst