Posted
by
samzenpus
on Wednesday September 06, 2006 @08:32PM
from the update-your-resume dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Wanted: Bright graduate student to assist world-famous scientist. International travel, developing computer systems and dealing with the press required.
Renowned astrophysicist and best-selling author Stephen Hawking has announced he is looking for a graduate student to work for him for one to two years. Dust off those CVs, kids!"

Should be noted that there are allegations that Dr. Hawking is into either spousal abuse roleplay. Last years there were pictures of injuries to Dr. Hawking consistent with the above practice, a police inquiry was initiated; to this, Dr. Hawking responded: "mind your own business".

Would the assistant be expected to participate in a practice such as this?

A side note: men with ALS are capable of eye control, sphincter control (they do not pee or shit themselves uncontrollably), as well as able to have erections and orgasms. Only motor neurons are affected while the full sensory input is retained.

Another side note: it is not definite that Dr. Hawking actually has ALS (as opposed to some other neurodegenerative disorder). He is the only known ALS patient known to survive for this long, and he has consistently refused any advanced ALS testing.

It's probably not going to be easy to diagnose at this stage - not only because it likely advanced far beyond the point 99.9% of sufferers would be tested, making any kind of direct comparison impossible, but also because he has survived so long, and we therefore have no data whatsoever on what ALS would look like at this point, and also because the disease has not progressed significantly for some time - it stopped and even reversed a very little at one point. Sure, you can study the existing damage, but without an active element, there would be nothing to test for.

Actually, it shouldn't be too hard to identify the illness, even from an armchair, for exactly the reasons I outlined. The number of neurologically degenerative diseases that actually spontaneously go into remission is not exactly high. That alone should eliminate the vast majority of ALS-like diseases to something much more manageable. We also have video footage from different stages. Horison did a documentary on Professor Hawking prior to him losing his speech to the trachea operation. We certainly have video footage of him since. Again, that should allow you to exclude certain possibilities. Finally, although a lot of his body has no motor control worth speaking of, his hands most evidently do as that is how he controls the chair and the voice synthesizer, although he's not exactly a speed demon on typing with it. His face also does - he doesn't lack the ability to show emotions.

Oh, that made me think of something else. Those are the same muscles he pushed the hardest from shortly before being diagnosed until he became a total invalid. He would swing on trees extensively, according to his mother in one documentary. It's suspected his heavy physical exercise regimen may have contributed to the disease slowing down and stopping later on in his life, but I believe it to be highly significant that the muscles he pushed the most suffered the least. Again, that can't possibly be characteristic of too many conditions.

From these well-documented and well-established facts, it should be easy to go through those conditions which Professor Hawking might have and discard those that simply don't behave in the way observed. (Or, to pull a Sherlock Holmes, reject the impossible and whatever is left - however improbable - must be correct. This doesn't work in practice for most things, but in this one case, there will be few enough possibilities that eliminating the impossible should be very doable indeed.)

Or, to pull a Sherlock Holmes, reject the impossible and whatever is left - however improbable - must be correct.

Actually, that's technically pulling an Occam, as it's a variation on Occam's Razor [wikipedia.org]. Yeah, yeah, Holmes said it like that, but Occam's razor is generally thought to be the foundation for Holmes' theory. Er...Doyle's theory, as it were.

Actually, that's technically pulling an Occam, as it's a variation on Occam's Razor [wikipedia.org]. Yeah, yeah, Holmes said it like that, but Occam's razor is generally thought to be the foundation for Holmes' theory. Er...Doyle's theory, as it were.

"Actually, that's technically pulling an Occam, as it's a variation on Occam's Razor. Yeah, yeah, Holmes said it like that, but Occam's razor is generally thought to be the foundation for Holmes' theory. Er...Doyle's theory, as it were."

Actually I think you are dead wrong here. Occam's razor states that you should always choose the least complicated explanation. With Holmes practice deductional observation the more complicated theory is just as or more likely to be the one that actually occurred. Just because it seems simple when Holmes is done explaining it doesnt mean that it was the less complicated scenario. The least complicated scenario, if you have actually read any of the stories, is invariably selected by Inspector lastrade.

Take the case of 'The six Napoleans'. Lastrade comes to holmes with a case where a man is breaking into peoples houses to smash their busts of napolean. One of the simplest explinations is Lastrade's , "he's a nut, simply a nut", if I remember right. As it turns out it is because the man is smashing the busts because there is the bounty from a robery hidden inside of the six napoleans that all came from the same mold where the man use to work.

I know that there are better examples than the one that I used but it is the first that came to mind and is the one that required the least typing. I suspect you misunderstand Holmes when he says stuff like 'simplicity my dear watson' which I beleive to be a sort of arrogant irony. I also suspect that you threw this out there because you wanted us all to think that you are smart, even though the only reason that you know the term Occamm's razor is because it has been popularized in many TV shows and movies(originally in Contact?). For that, I forgive you. But dont misanalyze the legend that is Sherlock Holmes

I dig the description for this animation on Newgrounds:
"This submission is appropriate for all audiences"
"Users who enjoyed this entry also enjoyed: French Erotic Film."
Nevermind the grand unification theory, I'd just like to know anyone can unify a Hawking rendition of Rocket Man with French erotic film.
Oh, wait...No. No I really don't.

I don't know anything about physics but dude, I will get you laid. And you're probably all like, "but I'm paralyzed." Dude, you don't even know. The bitches I know don't give a fuck. I'm tellin' you man they're crazy!

Straight out of Oxford a crazy motherfucker named Hawking.
When I be rocking the mic you be gawking,
at me 'cause I'm a bad mama-jamma,
you wanna lock me up put my ass in the slamma.
But fuck that shit 'cause no jail can hold me,
you can't even catch me much less control me.
So if you see me coming you better duck,
'cause Stephen Hawking is crazy as fuck.

Kind of a long commitment, especially considering that Hawking has ALS and could croak at any time -- the fact that he has been living with a disease that kills 95% of its sufferers within 5 years of diagnosis for 45 years vastly increases the chance of him dying at any moment.

Kind of a long commitment, especially considering that Hawking has ALS and could croak at any time

You've heard him talk. For TV interviews and the like, he usually has a number of preprogrammed responses for likely questions etc. An original response to a question takes a long time for him to cue up. So go figure how long it must take him to write and edit a book (for example). This assistant position is likely to be quite demanding, not the least of which requiring a lot of patience. One to two years sounds like a relatively brief time.

For TV interviews and the like, he usually has a number of preprogrammed responses for likely questions etc.

One of the most cringeworthy pieces of television I've ever seen was when Hawking was on live TV in the UK. The bonehead presenter asked a question that wasn't prearranged. This was followed by the most awkward two minutes of standing around that I've witnessed.

Graduate Student A: I can't. This matrix is too big
Stephen Hawking: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

Stephen Hawking: Why wish you become physicist?
Graduate Student B: Well, mostly because of my father, I guess.
Stephen Hawking: Ahh, physicist. Powerful physicist was he. Powerful physicist.
Graduate Student B: How could you know my father? You don't even know who I am. Oh, I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!
Stephen Hawking: [Looking away from Graduate Student B] I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.
Albert Einstein: He will learn patience.
Stephen Hawking: Much anger in him... like his father.
Albert Einstein: Was I any different when you taught me?

If you read the advertisement, it seeks a "recent graduate", not a "graduate student". This is definitely a job, not a studentship. Do not expect to come out of it with a graduate degree. That aside, there are plenty of other reasons to see it as an appealing opportunity.

Well if you're going for a sort of academic career, then the next "level" I would think would be this sort of apprenticeship. Which would be pretty cool considering there are many people capable of getting a doctorate, but only one such opportunity to work for Stephen Hawking. I imagine that if you could land that job then your resume would only need one sentence. "Stephen Hawking picked ME to work for him".

Alas I am too old and creaky and the wrong discipline, computer science, myself to qualify for job. But what a chance! To actually live, rather than read, those books and concepts that Hawkings ponders. What a way to expand one's imagination. Then the quotidian tasks for a person of this intellectual stature would seem light.

My sincere and most envious congratulations to whomever gets this position,Jim

That's exactly what I was thinking, except for your use of the word "quotidian" which I don't think I've ever seen used in conversation before. Encountering new words is fun, especially when encountered "in the wild" so to speak.;-) As far as "quotidian" tasks are concerned however, I'm sure it's just as unpleasant to change Professor Hawking's diapers as anyone else's.

Bedpans and diapers. There is something to be learned even by emptying bedpans and wiping from diapers. Life is not all sweetness and light. Drudgery too offers dimensions to grow. Depends on what you think about when your mind is.0001% occupied. Even then, you are doing a good thing for that person and thus mankind.Then for the other 99.9999%. For math things and my mind. I create a mental ball within my mind, a virtual brain if you will, and let that intuitively come back with my answer. One of my proje

I dunno...I heard Hawking give a real physics seminar (at Berkeley, circa 1988). I don't mean the popular gee-whiz First Five Minutes Of The Universe kind of thing. Now, I'm not a doofus when it comes to physics -- I took courses in quantum field theory and sat in on a GR class -- but I wasn't a cosmology graduate student. From that perspective, Hawking's talk stopped making much sense about 90 seconds after it started, except for brief lucid moments in the middle.I mean, fair enough. He was talking to

And so far, in the 26 messages posted, I have detected damned little respect for the perservereance and intelligence of the man, who does after all, hold the Issac Newton Chair in Mathematics at Cambridge, no small feat by itself. To me that apparent lack of respect is most sad.

Here we have a man, who perhaps because of his disability, is giving his brain exersize that the rest of his body will never get, a man who has contributed much to our knowledge of the universe, and who may yet deduce the causitive reason for the accelleration we are seeing of distant objects before he passes.

As for his passing, I'd imagine that his health is monitored at least 10 times more diligently than any of us do for ourselves. That will see to it that the age related degenerative things are kept in check as best we know how to do. However, the real monitoring is more likely concentrated on the treatment of bedsores and that sort of thing, as well as maintaining his immune system as best we (the medical professions 'we') can. However, he has a resident rn to handle the bedpanish and bedsores sorts of things, so those duties would not normally fall to the assistant.

If I were 50 years younger, I'd kill for a chance at that job. Unforch, my experience level at 50 years ago wouldn't have allowed me to do what he needs done today. Without formal schooling, it does take a while to arrive at that point of having the knowledge needed.

Have you ever watched the two Simpsons episodes starring Stephen Hawking (They Saved Lisa's Brain [imdb.com] and Don't Fear the Roofer [imdb.com])? If you didn't, then watch and you'll see that even him has no problem in joking about his own condition.

That's correct; Slashdot has deftly changed from being a discussion of those metaphorical front-benchers, to bar-room banter from the backbenchers. Nerds have become bullies at roughly about the same time when geekdom became mainstream.

As for me, I came into this discussion trusting that the Slashdot hive mind will use its Google-fu and find the only link [slashdot.org] I'm really interested in. The rest is all hubris.

Once you put someone - anyone - beyond all ability to be ridiculed, you put their life and opinions above the realm where people may discuss it as one of their own.

We human beings make fun of our own. We human beings kid around, tease, and poke at each other. Did you see the American show, "Last Comic Standing"? Josh Blue, a comic on there, had a solid case of cerebal palsy, as evidenced by his constant, jerky motion.

You know why he won?

The guy could laugh at himself. He could laugh at us laughing at him. He could laugh at stereotypes. He could laugh.

Maybe you could learn something about yourself from Josh.

Nothing in this thread so far - my earlier jest included - is so spiteful and cruel that even Steven himself couldn't get a chuckle from it.

Maybe the problem is that some people in this world take themselves and their conditions too damn seriously.

Which explains my confusion when a previous commentor here used the name George Lucas as the benefactor who originally endowed that chair. Henry Lucas, a 'Reverend', who actually did it in 1640 or so, is an entirely different fish from George, or even the Lucas Electric people who were best known for the quality of their parts in english vehicles of 50 years ago, earning them the honorary title of "Prince of Darkness" because they never worked.Thanks for the link that clarifies that, I hadn't thought to lo

All right, I'll say it:The guy has done something that even einstein couldn't do: He made serious physics breakthroughs accessible to and understandable for the little guys, those of us who DON'T get it and need someone to not talk down to us while we try.

he's almost unreal for most of us, a kind of science god. His illness is our only reminder that he's one of us at all. I applaud him for being able to laugh at it, while i am overwhelmed by his science-fu.

Thanks, thats more along the lines of the sort of a post I was hoping to see. And like you, I'm not qualified, and too damned old to boot, but that sure doesn't stop me from envying the lucky person who does get that job. He will have a little insight when he comes away, of how a great mind works.

And so far, in the 26 messages posted, I have detected damned little respect for the perservereance and intelligence of the man, who does after all, hold the Issac Newton Chair in Mathematics at Cambridge, no small feat by itself. To me that apparent lack of respect is most sad.

Why should one respect a CHAIR? The higher the chair, the higher the likelihood that the position was not obtained due to skills, but politics. You can respect Stephen Hawking for his works -- or not, depending on whether you fin

Chuckle, ten years in graduate school? One wag friend of mine once made the comment that he was a professional student sincve he was laying around for 2 years taking time filler classes until his future wife could graduate. It seemed to fit in that case, does it here?Don't take me too serious, I could be jealous, of the people who do have that luxury, usually with daddy paying the bills. Me? I had a health problem that ran me out of school back in '48 or so, and I've been chaseing electrons and making t

With all due respect for relatively a juvenile comment like that, I can truthfully say that in 72 years I haven't felt I had to kiss any ass, and the only ones I've wiped were mine or on my loved ones when they weren't able. My ability to get the job done has gotten me far more profesional respect than any amount of so-called ass kissing ever could. Its also responsible for raises in salary I never asked for many times. To levels comparable to those in the top 10% of the industry in markets in the bottom

Nope, the BBC props department want it back, Davros is still complaining that they gave his chair away and if its not returned he will unleash his daleks (He's only got the MK I's left so we can all hide upstairs).

I've recently watched a BBC Horizon episode "The Hawking Paradox" (available on BT I believe) where you see him working with his current assistant, a young French mathematician, and you must admire the patience of Hawking and the people around him to actually get communication flowing.
Hawking's ability to use his clicker to pick-up words on his computer has deteriorated and making a sentence is a really tough job for him: you have to guess what he wants to say and watch his eyes for confirmation... it must be a maddening thing to know all that knowledge and all those ideas bottled up inside that brain that can barely communicate a few words a minute...

With all our technology, you'd think that we could do a better job of helping people with such crippling diseases to allow them communicate more fluently.

It's sad that this great mind may never be able to give us all it can, even if some of his ideas end up being wrong, there is still enough material there to make great advances in science.

The communication thing would eventually frustrate the most calm of us. I think most slashdotters could (if forced, I doubt many would choose) deal with quadraplegia. To loose even the ability to (easily) communicate must be incredibly frustrating.

But, as for reading eye movements and guessing words etc, he's obviously after a male who's been married for years. That should get me modded down by half the population.:-).

But seriously, eye and facial (of which, SH must be slowly loosing both) movement is a significant slice of communication and more so with people who know each other well/long. What's gotta be troublesome is communicating complex ideas like physics. Baffled as to how he can continue to work.

I was Hawking's assistant a few years ago. It's a great job, but one that I would not want to revisit. For a smart young dude it provides a great opportunity to travel and grow personally whilst dealing with some of the greatest and ost disparate minds and egos on the planet.

As for what I had to do for him, remember that there is a team of equally dedicated nurses to attend to personal needs.

The Head of the Group is Professor Stephen Hawking who is disabled and communicates using a computer system and speech synthesiser. If you were accepted for the post you would be responsible for maintaining and improving this computer system as well as other pieces of support equipment.

Not sure why this was modded 4:informative. What resume is called in Europe is immaterial. In the US, "regular" workers have resumes; artists of various kinds have portfolios; and academics and scientists have CVs. A CV is a resume, plus a long list of your publications, received grants, awards and honors, teaching experience, graduate students and graduates, etc., that demonstrate your prowess as a researcher or professor.

An academic resume shouldn't be much longer than a normal resume. If you've written 150 peer-reviewed journal articles, say so, and list only the top 10 in full. If you've only written ten papers, consider only listing the top 5 in full.

Now there's a guaranteed way for someone to not get a job as an assistant professor. CVs are trimmed by senior people who are famous enough to not need to list their little poster publications. But your advice should apply to no one else. A typical CV is eight pages lo