Scott Ostler: Deep thoughts, cheap shots, bon mots {hellip}

-- Chris Cohan bought the Warriors for $119 million in '95 and reportedly wants to sell, probably for around $335 million. But Cohan has messed up the place so bad that he won't get back his cleaning deposit.

-- How do you like our new Chronicle? I enjoy the smaller format. When I'm reading the paper, I feel bigger.

-- Even the words are better. Sporting Green Giants' writer Henry Schulman recently used the word "noodnik." So all that money Henry spent over the years on Mad magazine didn't go to waste.

-- Giants' fans should have been rooting for Pablo Sandoval to be left off the All-Star team. By tradition, team selections are followed by headlines - "Smith Miffed at Snub" - and the miffed player goes on a revenge tear. The problem with Sandoval is that he's got a high threshold of miff. He's going to hit .330 regardless.

-- Normally my plea would be, "Please, Senator, leave sports alone and get back to fixing our country." But because it's Orrin Hatch, my message is, "Please, Senator keep working on the BCS, then fix the All-Star Game, then help stamp out flopping in basketball and shrieking in tennis ..."

Warriors owner Chris Cohan

Warriors owner Chris Cohan

Photo: Kurt Rogers, The Chronicle

Photo: Kurt Rogers, The Chronicle

Image
1of/8

Caption

Close

Image 1 of 8

Warriors owner Chris Cohan

Warriors owner Chris Cohan

Photo: Kurt Rogers, The Chronicle

Scott Ostler: Deep thoughts, cheap shots, bon mots {hellip}

1 / 8

Back to Gallery

-- If you're scoring along with us at home: Stephen Strasburg, the pitcher from San Diego State, probably will sign for a bonus of around $15 million. Or roughly five times what Tim Lincecumwill have earned in three big-league seasons while winning one or two Cy Young Awards.

-- Fans could have cast All-Star votes for Sandoval on their cell phones, but only if they were on the Sprint/Nextel/Boost network. No voting for AT&T subscribers. Fans at AT&T Park were not reminded of the cell-vote option. Too bad. Might have made a difference.

-- I believe Shaquille O'Neal will help win "a ring for the king." But only if Shaq drops 50 pounds, and I'm not talking about British money.

-- If Nicole Bobek, '95 U.S. figure-skating champion, is found guilty of being part of a New Jersey methamphetamine ring, all I can say is, where's Shawn Eckhardt when you need him?

-- Had Manny Ramirez been traded to Minnesota during his suspension, then gone on a tear upon returning, the headline would have been: "Manny Carrying Twins."