My life after infertility - A diary of a frantic, insane, weird, yet very happy and content mother.

Friday, July 22, 2011

What is considered the perfect baby?

What is considered to be the perfect baby? Would you like you baby to have blue eyes? curly hair, no hair, a small nose, a quiet baby, a smiley baby? What would make a baby perfect? I think what ever kind of baby we have that it will be perfect for us, which brings up the issue or really for us a non issue of the down syndrome possibility.

We have our 12 week scan in just under 3 weeks and this will tell us the likely hood of our baby having down syndrome. What would we do if we found out we had a high chance that our baby was a down syndrome baby? well in a nut shell, nothing. Not a thing. To me and gardener guy this was never even up for discussion, all it was was one night I said "what would you want to do if we were told at this scan that we were likely to have a down syndrome child", straight away he replied "nothing", and that was it. This baby is ours and we will not terminate it because of this small disadvantage. I have had a couple of people say to me lately, 'why would you make your life harder by keeping a baby with down syndrome', and yes everyone is entitled to their opinion but I just think I wouldn't necessary be making my life harder, sure there would be more challenges but we both think it would be well worth it and we hope that we could provide our child with an easy wonderful life should it have down syndrome. So I guess to some people a down syndrome baby is not the perfect baby they would have imagined and to be honest for me its not the perfect baby I would imagine but who has the right to say what a perfect baby is, I'm sure our baby will be perfect, down syndrome or not. Any views on this?

Recently I have noticed that I have lost a couple of followers, sad face. I really really hope I have not offended anyone. I really understand that sometimes when you are following blogs alot of them start to become pregnancy blogs and you realise one day you are reading more pregnancy blogs than infertility blogs so you decide to clear some out and find more infertility blogs, I know this full well, I have done it myself. I just hope it is that and nothing I have said to rub someone up the wrong way. I guess I will never know, I just don't want to piss people off or upset someone that is already vulnerable, as I know that for me sometimes it only took a small thing some days to set me off. Its hard, and I don't want to make it more harder for anyone.

We look forward to our 12 week scan, I have been told we will get a really good view and that it starts to look like a little bubba so that's pretty cool and I'm sure just like every other parent looking at their baby we will look at ours and it will be just perfect.

I know how you feel exactly. When our Bluebear was diagnosed with hydrocephalus the Drs asked if we wanted to do more tests. Why? - to determine whether we wanted to terminate or not. We declined the testing. Our response wouldn't have been any different if we hadn't gone through IF and IVF to get our twins. But even more so, why would I give up what took 2 and a half years to get because she might not be "perfect". She will be perfect to me. Good luck at the scan. Mostly, just enjoy watching your little one on the screen. Love ultrasounds!

I totally agree with you...we are going to have our 12 weeks scan too just to see baby but no matter what results are we will continue with this baby...after all its our little miracle and everything we have been through to get here its our chosen path/journey

You haven't lost me, I'm still here! :) I just want to say that for me the perfect baby is one that is born healthy and happy, that is all. I don't care about gender, physical attributes or anything else - just one healthy baby.

As for the termination debate, I myself was born with a disability (Cerebral Palsy). I'm glad my parents didn't question whether or not to keep me because I have gone on to live a remarkably "normal" life despite my challenges. Thankfully, my condition is not something that can be passed on to my child, but if, God forbid, we found out our baby was going to have a disability, it is no question that we would keep that child. I believe everyone deserves a chance at life, just as I am grateful every day that my parents gave me a chance at mine. I think that when you are a woman TTC, you begin to realize that life is precious, life is a gift. That said, when I finally do get pregnant, that child will be thought of as nothing less than a miracle and a blessing.

Well, that's my two cents I felt like sharing. Best of luck at your 12 week scan! If you would like to talk more or if you have any questions, I would be happy to give you my email address, just let me know. Take care. :-)

That is why we didn't even do the 12 wks scan! A lot of the times those tests are wrong and we didn't want the stress for no reason. To us it didn't matter, these are the babies we are meant to have downs or not!

Ya, I also lost a couple followers, but I understood. It hard reading aout someones pregnancy when you just got another BFN :-\

About Me

Welcome back to my blog!
After a long hard struggle to conceive, after under going many fertility treatments, after hitting rock bottom, we have now come out the other side.
this new blog will follow my journey as a new mother. I aim to perhaps provide some light entertainment,perhaps a few more tears, perhaps an escape for someone when life is looking like rain instead of sunshine.
I am a new woman, no longer plagued with un-happiness, but I still never forget how I got to this point. I hope you enjoy my future rants about everything related to motherhood, womanhood and being a domestic goddess.
I'm equipped with a 1969 sewing machine, a giant wooden spoon and a new appreciaton of how valuable a chest freezer really is.
Join me as I whip up a bib, whip up a giant pot of soup, whip up a years worth of baby food,and generally whip myself up into a blissfully mad state.
So........
Hold onto your pinnies ladies, hold onto your nappies babies, hold onto your whatever you hold onto men, because we are in for one weird fast paced ride.
Babies in bed and i'm online - OH DEAR!