Welcome to the musings of this mediocre mom. If you’re looking for nuggets of wisdom about perfect parenting, you’re not going to find them here. But if you need someone to celebrate your parental mistakes with you or if you’re curious about what to do when you find your child eating poop, stick around. Drink some wine with me. You might not be a better parent after reading my blog, but you will feel like one.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The First Test

The forgotten trumpet.

It’s January 3rd, and I
was already given an opportunity to put my only New Year’s Resolution into effect.
As is typical, this morning my son was late getting out the door, with my
husband waiting for him in the driveway, car running. My son always announces
that he’s “ready” for school, even though he’s sitting at the table, barefoot,
sporting bed head, with cereal milk dripping from his mouth as he says it. The time between the words, “I’m ready,” to his butt actually hitting the passenger seat is
about 10 minutes. At least. Such is the life of pre-teens.

About 20 minutes after he left,
the phone rang. I was elbow deep in my daughter's french braid so I
let the machine get it. I heard:

I finished my daughter’s hair and
assessed the situation. I was dressed and ready, but my four year old was on the
couch in her pj’s, and another daughter who needed to get to the bus stop in 15
minutes, and it was colder than a witch’s….well, it was just really, really, cold outside. We’ll leave it at that.

I flew through the house,
grabbing his trumpet from his room, his music folder strewn about his floor,
trying to unhook my parka from the closet, mentally checked the fact that I
had 15 minutes to get there, drop it off, and return home or either my middle
daughter was going to miss the bus, or my four year old would be home alone, and
it was getting hard to breathe, and I realized…

Hey. I have choices here. Am I
making this decision On Purpose?

No. I wasn’t. I was trying to be a
good mom. You know, that good mom who brings the trumpet to school when her
pre-teen son should have been getting his things together but was instead
watching cartoons on TV at 6:30 a.m. I was doing what I’ve been trained and conditioned to do,
which is rescue people/children from situations they get themselves into, and
while certain circumstances do call for a mom to bring things to school
(medication or a project that won’t fit into a bus seat) this was not one of
those times. So I shelved the instinct to be good, and settled for what I do best, and that is mediocre. I was selfish and chose sanity over saving my son's arse. Sealing my decision with a grain of reality, I also rationalized that band was only the first period of the day. Chances were good
that even if I got the damned trumpet to school, the class would soon be ending
and he wouldn’t be able to play it anyway.

So I made a different decision. I
hung my coat back inside the closet, grabbed a new cup of coffee, and had a
very pleasant, non-stressful morning. Making that decision On Purpose was so
liberating! I made another decision On Purpose and moved my son’s trumpet and
music folder to the front door where he would see it when he left for school
the next day. You’re welcome son.

The best part about my decision?
When my son came home he asked me, “So, did you get my message this morning?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“You just didn’t feel like bringing
it?” he asked.

“Nope. I didn’t have time. Did you
get in trouble?” I asked, silently hoping for some logical consequences here.

“No. I just changed the subject and
my teacher didn’t say anything else about it.”

Well, no consequences, but overall
the experience was win-win. My son didn’t get into trouble (this time) and I had a
fabulous, productive, stress-free morning.

Annuli, so far, my days of On Purpose thinking have been really good ones! It's amazing how this type of thinking eliminates a lot of guilt. I hope you have luck with it too, and I'd love to hear about a situation where you thought about something differently and how that went for you!

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