"Half of all marriages end in divorce, so the best way to combat that statistic is to eradicate the stability of marriage between committed partners?"

Hmmm. The stability of marriage resides in monogamy? I'll have to think about that.

Re:

Quote:

"Agree or not, at least gay and polygamous marriages show some sort of committed union between adults -- promises to stay together for life."

W'll gee, if you're gonna cite those marriages, at least cite polyfidelity while you're at it.

Re:

Quote:

"Of course promises get broken, but how can you raise children in such chaos that no promise is ever even made, let alone attempted to be lived?"

I get it, adults are transitioning in and out of the child's life like a revolving door. "Do it for the children" is certainly the loudest pro-monogamy argument I've heard (from multiple sources).

Re:

Quote:

"Kids with gay parents or more than one mom will have some stuff to overcome, even if for no other reason than it's not the societal norm -- but at least they know where they belong."

Wait ... in poly, don't the biological parents tend to keep their kid regardless of whether they keep their poly partners? The kid then still belongs at home then ... That's not hard to see, is it?

Re:

Quote:

"But what happens when Dad's girlfriend, who is acting as a surrogate mother, decides it's time for her to move on?"

Jenny Erikson doesn't seem to be considering that how involved an adult is in a child's life can (should) be proportionate to how committed that adult is to staying in the child's life. Just someone Mom or Dad are dating for the next few months? presumably won't become anything more than an acquaintance to the child.

Re (from ZamEnt25):

Quote:

"People doing what works for them is why our society is in the mess it's in."

LOLOL! ... I'm sorry, that's just ...

Okay, right. So, new battle plan. Henceforth we will do what *doesn't* work for us. And that should solve the problem.

Re (from wamom223):

Quote:

"And maybe just maybe if you don't want to forsake all others you shouldn't take vows you have no plans on keeping."

Certainly. I'm all for marital vows that don't include forsaking all others.

Re:

Quote:

"I think people who think like you are trying to ruin the human race."

Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaa, my plans to ruin the human race are proceeding stupendously! [hunches over and rubs hands quickly while eyes dart back and forth]

"The problem I have witnessed and read about are that with that many relationships to maintain they very rarely have enough left over for their children."

A reasonable concern. Depends on the details, I guess.

I guess I am somewhat zen about the badmouthing (and spread of misinformation) polyamory endures. People tend to fear the unknown and polyamory is a big unknown for a lot of people. They're going to greet it with xenophobia at first. In time, though, their rants will become the soil in which reasonable dialogs arise. So in a way it's a necessary process.

One thing Erikson's article illustrates is that polyamorous rights is the next big debate following (on the very heels of) gay rights. You can learn a lot about when and how polyamory will come to be accepted by listening to its enemies talk.

As a part of that listening process, I do try to give due credit for any valid concerns our opponents raise during the debate. Sometimes I don't know if a particular concern is valid or not, so I just make a note of it and consider it in future discussions. We do know that along with the poly success stories, there are poly horror stories. I find merit in examining both.

Polyamory isn't necessarily bad for kids (often quite the opposite in fact), but I do know of at least a case or two off the top of my head where the kids suffered because of it (or because of the way it was handled). I think it's fair to ask me to be concerned about that.

One thing's for sure though: Polyamory isn't going away. We're going to see more and more of it as time goes on. And overall, I think that's a good thing.

__________________Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"