Don’t Stay Together for the Kids. Get the Divorce.

You and your spouse has been fighting nonstop for the past few months and the situation doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Divorce has been brought up. However, you have two small children and the thought of breaking the news to them hurts your heart. You and your spouse decide to stick it out and live with each other until the children were old enough to understand what was going on. Is this the right thing to do?

This is a question that many couples ask when divorce is mentioned. Your first thoughts are not about your happiness but rather about how your children will feel. Will they resent you? Become angry? Feel like they are responsible for the end of your marriage? And it’s true, your children may feel one or all of the above emotions, staying together for the kids may not be such a good idea.

According to a report by the Center for Marriage and Families, federal data has shown that that a household with cohabiting parents is much more unstable than that of a divorced children’s home. In fact, according to research from Robert E. Emery, Ph.D., children are more likely to do better after parents are separated than parents who continue to fight and live in the same house.

If you and your spouse refuse to get a divorce because of your children, take a moment and really ask yourselves who are you really not separating for. Chances are, the reason may be more than just for the kids.