Tag: Parenting

Carol Dweck is our new hero because she really gets it! My older human sister is reading lots of things about her because she wants to be a great teacher someday. My sister told me some of the things that Carol Dweck has said and guess what? We think about a lot of things the same way. How cool is that?

Carol Dweck explains to parents and teachers that some kids who have challenges in their lives manage to succeed while others don’t. She uses cool words that mean a lot. She says that kids who try hard and persevere have something called a growth mindset. Hmmm… I guess I have a growth mindset too!

As you know, I am very smart but Carol Dweck is way smarter than I am. That’s because I am just a dog and she is a doctor. She said, “…when students had more of a growth mindset, they held the view that talents and abilities could be developed and that challenges were the way to do it.

Carol Dweck

Learning something new, something hard, sticking to things—that’s how you get smarter.” The cool thing is that I have said the same kinds of things about how I got so smart here on my blog and in my books. Well, except that I have said them in a way that kids understand. How cool is that? For an example, in The “Tail” of Rugby Jones: A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability, I said, “There are so many things that make people and animals different and that is a good thing. Just remember that you might need something like Zoomie to help you work hard and remind you to believe in yourself.”

My human mom taught me that, it’s so important to let children understand that failure is okay. Failure and mistakes are crucial for success to become a reality. Children need their parents to believe in their abilities, to be proud of their efforts and teach them how to learn from the negative events in their lives.

GUESS WHAT? I’m back and my blog has a brand new look but I am still the old me! I am so excited about the renovations here because I want to make it easier for you to figure out all of the things that I already know.

I want you to be able to see what needs to be done to help everyone feel better about themselves no matter what their differences are! And I want to make the process faster because I am impatient sometimes!

It’s kind of like being in the dark until the curtains are opened. You know what it feels like when the warm sunshine lights up your world and the darkness goes away. Sunshine helps everyone feel better and when we feel better, we can improve the way we see ourselves and the world around us.

That’s what my new website can and will do. And guess what? Along with the new look of the site, I am going to be putting my two cents more because I know all about overcoming adversity and how important self esteem is.

That’s all there is to it! Don’t forget that I’m Rugby Jones to the rescue!

Hi! My name is Claudia and I have a dog named Rugby Jones. I guess that makes me his human mom. Rugby has become my inspiration and my teacher because of the way that he has dealt with adversity in his life.

Rugby suffered a spinal cord injury and lost the use of his back legs. I watched the sadness in his eyes with an understanding that he could no longer run, play or even walk. Like any parent, I tried everything to help him. I finally found him a dog wheelchair.

That was the moment when Rugby’s life changed for the better. Rugby took to his new wheelchair like a duck on water. His enthusiasm and zest for life grew with each passing day. Little did I know that Rugby’s injury and recovery would change my life for the better too.

As we dealt with Rugby’s handicap, I became acutely aware of the interactions between Rugby and those who came in contact with him. Sometimes, there were disapproving and unkind comments that came our way. When this happened I became mesmerized by the effect that Rugby’s antics and friendly personality had on people. He possessed an innate ability to turn negative into positive and criticism into approval.

Those who had scorned the dog in the wheelchair and the woman at the end of the leash did about faces after he approached them with his heartwarming antics. It was as though he spoke their language. “Why are you staring at me? I’m fine. So what if I need a wheelchair to get around? Is your body perfect? Mine isn’t. Please be nice to me. I will be nice to you. I am a very happy dog. I love my wheelchair and I love my life. Don’t you want to be my friend? I sure want to be your friend.”

I have been sharing Rugby’s uplifting story because it is one of encouragement for people who must deal with any adversity. Rugby exemplifies the fact that life is what you make it.

As I speak and write about Rugby’s antics, actions and reactions to people and events, children are delighted. Maybe it is because my words are straight from the horse’s mouth or more accurately straight from Rugby’s mouth.

Don’t Go Near Him

One day when I went to the pet supply store to get dog food, I took Rugby with me. It was a rainy day and there were very few people in the store. As always, Rugby was scoping out everything at his eye level. I was focused on my errand and we were walking in that direction when I heard people talking.

I heard a child say, “Mommy look at that doggie in the wheelchair.” Then I heard a woman’s voice saying, “Don’t go near him. There is something wrong with him. Let’s just go the other way. No. You can’t pet him. Something is wrong with him.” This was not the first time something like this happened.

It was almost like Rugby was telling himself what to do, “If they can’t come to me, I’ll go to them.”

At that moment, I felt Rugby pulling me down the aisle and around the corner to the next aisle where the children and their mother were. I saw the mother put her hands on her children’s shoulders and hold them. Rugby pulled me right over to them and then barked. It wasn’t a loud bark. It was more like a “woof.”

The little girl looked at her mother and asked her, “Mommy, can’t we pet him please?” I don’t know if the mother was embarrassed or just confused but she still held their shoulders and said nothing. “Mommy, can we?”

I decided that I needed to put my two cents in so I said, “It’s okay. They can pet him. They won’t catch anything.” She gave me a questioning look and I told her that I knew that she was concerned and that Rugby wouldn’t hurt her children in any way, quite the contrary.

She released her hold on the children as if to tell them that they could pet him. I explained that Rugby had been in an accident and that he needed the wheelchair because of his paralysis.

As the children and Rugby interacted happily, she and I talked. When we were ready to say good bye, she told her children something that I will never forget.

“Emily and Alex, don’t ever be afraid of anyone who is different from you. Try to understand what they are going through and be kind because that is how you want to be treated.”

What a lesson those children learned on that day. What lessons are you teaching your children?

We were in the store and saw a child having a meltdown. We felt bad for the child but we felt even worse for the mom who was trying to handle the situation. Not even 10 feet away from them stood a couple who started talking to each other in loud voices about how spoiled the child was.

It got even worse when they began to criticize the mother for not being strict enough with the child. Then they talked about how they would never have tolerated that kind of behavior with their own children. Everyone heard them and then the mother began to sob. It was time to step in and help. After all, that’s what we do!

Meltdown or Tantrum?

GUESS WHAT? We found out that the mom was dealing with her daughter who has Sensory Processing Disorder. She was exhausted and couldn’t handle the constant criticisms anymore. We asked the onlookers if they had raised kids with special needs? They said that their children were very normal and that using special needs as an excuse wasn’t the way to raise a child.

Have you ever been critical of a parent who was dealing with a child’s meltdown in a public place?

Think about a few things and maybe… just maybe you will be more understanding. A tantrum and a sensory meltdown are two totally different things. A tantrum happens when a child doesn’t get something he or she wants or needs.

A sensory meltdown happens when the child feels overwhelmed!

Meltdown or Tantrum?

Maybe the noises in the store or too many things to focus on send a child with SPD into a meltdown. For onlookers, a tantrum and a sensory meltdown appear to be the same but they far from being the same. For the child with SPD, too many sensory inputs flood the brain and a meltdown is a way to release the pressure.

Have you ever tried to use a funnel to fill a bottle with some liquid only to see that too much liquid causes the bottle to spill over? Have you ever turned on a hose to fill a bucket only to see that the pressure of the water in the hose causes the bucket to spill over? Both of these situations are only mild examples of what a child with SPD is feeling. Do you feel less critical? We hope so!!

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Beverly N Smith, Med Reading Consultant Specialist

Written from a cute and smart disabled dog’s mouth, Rugby Jones reinforces children’s “Growth Mindset” that they can do anything if they believe they can! I highly recommend this book as a wonderful springboard for parent/child discussions as well as use in a classroom situation followed by discussions and writing opportunities.

Written from a cute and smart disabled dog’s mouth, Rugby Jones reinforces children’s “Growth Mindset” that they can do anything if they believe they can! I highly recommend this book as a wonderful springboard for parent/child discussions as well as use in a classroom situation followed by discussions and writing opportunities. - Beverly N Smith, Med – Reading Consultant/Specialist