I've been struggling with this question a lot these couple of days...hence, I am on here. Haha, I've lost too much sleep over this. But you know what I realized? After asking this same question for awhile, the question I started asking turned into: What if it's meant to be, but I don't want it to be?

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So the best resolution I've come up with is: I'm going to do both. I'm going to be what I was meant to be, despite my not wanting to be it, and I'm going to keep trying to be what I seemingly am not meant to be.