Three hours into the nightshift, the sickbay should have been empty, butit wasnt. When Spock entered, he was greeted by Dr. McCoy, whosecurrent companion was a bottle of whisky.

Spock... I was just reading an article. What brings you here?

Both knew this to be a lie as his console was not even turned on, butSpock did not care to comment on it.

I needed some supplies from sickbay for an experiment of mine. Illcome back later.

No, what did you need?

Spock hesitated for a few seconds until he saw the doctor stand up.

A hypospray and a medical tricorder should suffice.

McCoy immediately brought him what he asked for.

Tell me Spock, what kind of experiment are you on this time? I hope itdoesnt involve any strong acids, because the last time you almostburned away half my sickbay.

No, doctor, nothing of the sort. It is personal project, a hobby if youprefer.

You, Spock, a hobby? That stuff Scotty gave me must have been potent,because Im already hallucinating. Pray tell me what that hobby of yoursis?

Vulcan molecular genetics, doctor. A field you would find, no doubt,too challenging for your primitive human intellect.

The doctor suddenly had a very bad feeling about all this. Playing withones genetic material never was a hobby for anyone, not even for Spock:he too knew what uncontrolled manipulations could bring. Nevertheless,the doctor decided to go on with a casual tone.

Fishing, thats a hobby, or three-dimensional chess, if you prefer, butmolecular genetics, thats no hobby! What is it exactly youreplanning?

Spock visibly tensed.

As you know, each cell can repair its genome up to a certain degree oflesions. I devised a method to repair more extensive damage.

As he was talking, he had slowly walked closer to the doctor. He was nowat an arm length of the others neck.

Intuition, premonition, or whatever one wishes to call it, helped thedoctor to elude the raising arm. He hurried to the other end of sickbay,grabbing on his a way a hypospray he rapidly filled with a strongsedative. When Spock finally caught up with him and cornered him againsta wall, McCoy put the hypospray between them.

If you move as much as an eyebrow, I will sedate you.

The menacing tone and eyes seemed to achieve the desired effect, forSpock did not move.

Spock, whats going on?

It is highly illogical to forbid me any movement then to ask mequestions.

Dammit, Spock, answer!

As I explained, I was about to attempt an experiment, of which Isuspected you might not approve. I therefore deemed it necessary toincapacitate you for an instant.

Both knew that even now, Spock could easily dispose of the doctor, butthat he would not risk being sedated unless he was unable to talkhimself out of this situation.

What kind of experiment?

I already explained its aim. I could perhaps show you the protocol, ifyou would allow me access to the console?

So you can pinch me into oblivion, no. Lets pretend that Vulcangenetics are also a hobby of mine: just describe it to me.

Spock considered his options for an instant.

Very well. You asked for it, doctor. I devised a hybrid enzymaticcomplex capable of translating human chromosomes into their Vulcancounterparts. As the in vitro tests went remarkably well, I was about toproceed to the next step: in vivo testing.

McCoy was not fully sure he understood what was happening to him. Was itreally a hallucination? Or was Spock actually saying what he thought hehad said? He thought of the two glasses he drank and hoped for Spockthat they were the cause of this nightmare. He had been standing stillwith his mouth slightly open for a few seconds, when he fellunconscious, victim of a Vulcan neck grip.

After Spock carefully propped the doctor against the wall, he watchedhis face for a few seconds. He kneeled beside him and then slowlytouched his cheek, as if he were not sure himself of what he was doing.Then even slower, he planted a gentle kiss on the doctors lips. Hethought that he could allow himself one last emotional outburst, thatsoon the madness would be over forever, that he would finally be as hehad longed for his whole life long, a very logical, emotionless,full-blooded Vulcan.

He filled the hypospray with the solution he had brought with him. As hewas setting the dosage, the doctor came back to himself and stood up. Hewas now sure this was no dream and that Spock needed to be stoppedbefore he made the error of a lifetime.

Spock, please dont! I beg you. Do lay down the hypospray. You are whoyou are. This will only harm you. Youll regret it

Do not concern yourself over me, doctor, regret is a human emotion: theenzymes will take care of it.

And what of your mother? By destroying all she transmitted, you willhurt her beyond any measures.

My mothers feelings are none of your concern. Besides, there is noneed for her to ever know, and even if she were to find out, I am sureshe would understand: she is a very logical woman.

As soon as he had heard the word, McCoy knew how to approach theproblem.

And is what youre doing logical?

I agree it might not appear so, but it is, once you consider the wholesituation

Then, could you please explain to me what *the whole situation* is?Its all I ask for.

Spock glanced at his hypospray. He could inject himself with thesolution and let McCoy deal with it, but he simply could not bringhimself to do so. He did not want to cause so much anger, so much pain,not now when he would never be able to apologize or make up for it.

Very well.

Spock sat on one of the biobeds and gestured the doctor to do the same.

I will soon enter Pon Farr again; I must therefore find another mate.

And you think you wouldnt find one because youre only half-Vulcan.Nonsense! That TPring woman was a crazy green-blooded fool. Any halfintelligent woman would want to marry you, if she had a chance.

No doctor, that is not the problem. I am well aware that some women dofind me, for some inexplicable reasons, quite desirable. My problem isdifficult enough to explain without your interruptions. As I said, Ineed to find a mate. The logical solution would be to go back to Vulcanand accept the woman my family chose for me. However, I find it isprecisely that which I cannot do, because...

Spock stopped speaking and stared intently in front of him. They bothremain silent for a moment.

Because, Spock?

Because I noticed I was interested in another... person

The doctor stood up and smiled at Spock, who still wasnt looking athim. He had noticed the hesitation and hoped he had jumped to the wrongconclusion.

Its wonderful that you feel this way, but from your behaviour, I canonly suppose you havent broached this delicate subject with this...man

Spock turned sharply his head towards the doctor and looked in his eyes.

I know for a fact that he is not interested; I did not even have toask. Even with this knowledge, my... interest in him does not decline,making it impossible for me to bond with someone else: this person wouldbe aware of my... feelings, it would be unfair to both of us.

And yet, you dont want to die. Therefore, you thought that removingyou human part would take this feeling away, leaving you free to bondwith anyone. Logical, I must admit.

Even more so when one takes in account the fact that there never was afull-blooded homosexual Vulcan. Only human-Vulcan hybrids seem to beaffected. A genetic change could therefore not miss its purpose

Surely Spock, you cannot think that there is a biological part to thisnonsense. Couldnt it simply be that Vulcan society is highly prejudicedand that human influence allowed you to be yourself?

Impossible. Vulcan society has no such prejudices, as it would beillogical to deny a persons true nature. When the tendencies aredetected soon enough, parents engage their children in same-sex bonding:it is a rare occurrence, but it exists. Furthermore your theory cannotexplain why all half-Vulcans are homosexual.

All?

Yes. They are to this day eighteen of us. Among them, fourteen havereached adulthood. I contacted them. It is a matter rarely discussed,but all confessed strong same-sex attraction. I could not speak to thechildren, but I learned that when their time comes, they will become twocouples.

Fascinating, as youd put it.

Yes indeed, doctor, fascinating.

They both remained silent for a minute or two.

Are you sure this man would not bond with you, if he knew it meantsaving your life?

Vulcan bonding makes each partner aware of the others mind: I couldnot live with his pity. Were I to ask, he would do it withouthesitation, for he is a good man, but I wont.

A few seconds of silence.

Its Jim, isnt it?

Spock was surprised for a second but rapidly regained his composure.

Your conclusion is logical, doctor.

Listen Spock, Ill tell him if you cant. Im sure he likes you verymuch, he wont--

Spock stood up and felt the need to raise his voice as he spoke.

Under no circumstances are you to mention any part of this conversationto the captain, is that clear doctor?

He raised the hypospray to his chest. He hoped that soon it would all beover, that the doctor would not interfere, now that he knew as much ofthe truth as Spock was prepared to tell. But he was wrong. As he pressedthe piston, the solution did not penetrate his flesh, but the doctors.He had put his hand in between, in a desperate attempt to prevent whathe saw as the death of who Spock really was.

The effects were immediately noticeable: the doctor was screaming,holding his hands between his thighs, vainly trying to minimize thepain. Spock reached for the hypospray the doctor had let fall earlier,and gave him a large dosage.

He had expected it to be painful as not only the genome but also theproteins and cellular structure were rearranged. He saw it spreadthrough the doctors body. Adjusting the speed had been the mostdifficult part: if the blood salts equilibriums were altered toorapidly, human cells would die without having been transformed, tooslowly, the newly modified Vulcan cells would not survive. Tricorderreadings indicated he had hit it right. The doctor would survive. Withhalf his DNA altered, the rest of the changes would occur at a morereasonable rate. Within a week, as his cells would renew themselves, hisears, his blood, even his brain would be rearranged to meet Vulcan orrather half-Vulcan standards. The doctor was fast asleep and couldremain so as long as Spock wanted: he thought it best for him to sleepthrough most of the process, thus avoiding most of the pain.

Spock was faced with a more urgent problem: he could not explain whathad happened to the doctor without advertising his own problem and theway he had sought to solve it. This was simply not acceptable: hetherefore decided to slightly disguise the truth. He assembled somesupplies from sickbay and from one of the research labs. He then pickedup sufficient rations and emergency supplies. It was no easy task topick up McCoy and carry him while dragging the two heavy boxes he hadprepared. Fortunately, the corridors where still empty and theshuttlecraft hangar not too far. He had considered for an instant usingthe transporter, but that would have involved more computerfalsification than he judged ethically acceptable. Once the doctorsettled on a makeshift cot he had erected at the aft of the shuttle, hewent back to his quarters to download on a microtape all data concerninghis research. He also logged a request for shore leave for McCoy andhim.

The most difficult part of his task was yet still ahead: he needed todeceive his captain. It wasnt so much the fact that Kirk was aperceptive man that made Spock most uncomfortable, but the lie itself:lying to a stranger was something he was just barely able to justify tohis Vulcan ethics, but lying to a friend was something his human sidecould hardly accept.

He nevertheless entered the captains quarters to perform what he nowthought of as his duties towards McCoy.

Through his light sleep, Kirk perceived the other mans presence andopened an eye.

Spock, is something wrong with the ship?

No, captain, the ship is in no danger. I apologize for disturbing you,but I must inform you that I have to leave now and return to Vulcan.

In an instant, the captain was fully awake. He went to his desk, whereboth Spock and he took a seat.

Pon Farr?"

Yes. It is still two weeks away but I must leave now if I want to reachVulcan in time to take care of some details.

Very well. The ship should be able to manage without your presence forsome time. When do you expect to return?

In 27 solar days. The ship should be back to this sector by then.

Yes, the cartography mission will be over.

They both were silent for a moment, until Spock felt that the captainwas about to dismiss him.

One other thing, Jim: the doctor wont let me leave the ship unless heis allowed to come with me. He is under the false impression that Icould willingly harm myself.

Well, it would be safer for you if you were not alone. But if itbothers you, I can order him to stay.

No, it will be fine. I only regret that you will not be able to attendthis ceremony.

That Spock would accept McCoy presence just like that triggered an alertof some sort in Kirks brain. He quickly examined the situation andfound only one explanation that could suit all the facts. It was amadmans idea but he had to be sure.

Me too: I would have loved to meet your wife. Whats her name?

Spock was somewhat at a loss to answer, as he had not expected Jim tobroach this subject. Before he could answer, the captain went on.

Or is there something you and Bones forgot to tell me?

Forgot to tell you? Captain, I fail to understand.

You would tell me if you and he were... engaged, wouldnt you?

Engaged in what, captain?

You know, *engaged*, as in engaged to be married

Something between surprise and horror crossed Spocks features when heunderstood what the other meant, informing the captain how wrong he hadbeen in his supposition.

Captain, if such an unlikely situation was to present itself, I assureyou, you would be the first informed.

Im sorry Spock; I just found it curious that you would accept to becramped for some time with Bones in a shuttlecraft, especially beforeyour... wedding. And as you didnt know your fiancées name, I justassumed that there was more to it.

I do not have a fiancée yet. This is why I must leave for Vulcan now.Also, captain, two persons in one shuttlecraft can hardly qualify asoverpopulation. Even though I do not admit to it lightly, I consider thedoctor to be a friend. His presence will be appreciated. "

This open confession further disturbed Kirk, but then he remembered thatSpock had not been quite himself since his last Pon Farr, and hoped thatthis trip would do him some good.

Well, Spock, Ill see you in a month.

Spock shaped his hand in a V and bid the captain farewell in thetraditional fashion.

Live long and proper, Jim.

As Spock had almost left the room, he heard the captain calling him.

Spock, why didnt McCoy come with you?

He had some packing to do. I also suspect he wanted to allow me someprivacy, so that we might discuss this matter more easily.

Well, then, good luck Spock.

As he walked out of the cabin and hurried to the shuttlecraft hangar,Spock thought to himself that, for once, he could do with some luck.

Even though Kirk still felt that something he could not quite pinpointwas amiss, he informed the officers on duty on the bridge that nightthat he had authorised Spocks use of a shuttlecraft.

Once the shuttle far enough from the ship, Spock considered his nextsteps. With McCoy asleep during the whole process, he would have a fewdays to undertake his research. He could therefore allow himself torest: even Vulcan stamina had its limits. He had hardly slept for overten weeks, by day, on the bridge, by night completing his project, andwas now extremely tired. He injected the doctor with another dose ofsedative, checked the heading of the shuttle, and then simply fellasleep in one of the seats.

About 15 hours later, a loud moan woke Spock. As he stood up, he wassurprised to see that the doctors ears were pointed and his complexionclose to his own. A sweep of the tricorder revealed that his wholeanatomy and physiology were now that of a half-Vulcan, with the notableexception of his brain. Another surprise was that the doctor had wethimself during his sleep. The strong smell of both urea and rubidine,its Vulcan equivalent, confirmed Spocks impression that McCoystransformation was almost over. He computed one more time in his headthe figures, but could not find his mistake: this stage should not havebeen reached until at least two more days.

After he removed the doctors pants and tunic, he towelled his thighsdry. Only then did he notice the double ridge on the doctors penis. Afew glances in the shower room excepted, he had never seen the othermans penis. He stared at it for what seemed like an eternity, thencarefully lifted it and cleaned its underside and the testicles. Eventhough the touch was light, it was enough to arouse the doctor. As hefelt the penis slightly hardening in his hand, Spock dropped it as if itburned and started frantically looking for some clothes. Until herealized he hadnt packed any. All he could do at the moment was tocover the doctor with a blanket. After giving the matter some thoughts,he cleaned the dirty clothes with a phaser he had recalibrated to emitsonic waves. When McCoy was clothed again, Spock decided that the bestcourse would be to wake him: the changes were almost over now, but mostimportantly he did not want to have to touch his penis again, whichwould be quite impossible, were he to keep the doctor sedated.

It took McCoy a while to emerge from his slumber and sit himself on thecot. Spock decided it was best to speak with him before he was fullyconscious of his environment.

Doctor, do you remember what happened?

I took a hypo full of something. It hurt like hell, worse than thecordrazine.

It was to be expected. I didnt have time to work one theside-effects.

Suddenly McCoy seemed remember: he stared at his hand but obviouslycouldnt find the answer he was looking for there.

Im sure you going to laugh, Spock. I mean you would if you had theemotions. Am I a Vulcan?

No.

I told Jim that one of these days I was going to loose it and now Istart seeing things. I could have sworn it was real.

It very probably was. Doctor, you are half Vulcan.

They remained silent for a minute or two. McCoy was lost in his thoughtsuntil he took notice of his surroundings.

Why are we in a shuttlecraft?

I thought it better for no one to see you in your present condition.All I need is some time to find a reverse drug. I told the captain wewere going to Vulcan for my Pon Farr. When well get back, the otherswill be none the wiser.

McCoy remained uncharacteristically silent: he kept watching his hands.One of them ventured up to one of his ears. Touching a hard evidence ofwhat had happened combined with the residual effects of the drug madehim feel so nauseated that he had to run for the toilet.

After he had vomited several times, Spock came to him with a towel and aglass of water.

Doctor, I must apologize for putting you through this most unpleasantordeal. This is all my fault and I--.

The doctor rapidly stood up and faced Spock. He was obviously once againhis normal self.

Youre damn right, its your fault. How could you imagine I would letyou inject yourself with that thing? You must have been out of yourVulcan mind when you brewed this potion!

I already explained what brought me to this. I thought you hadunderstood.

I understand all right, but that doesnt mean I approve of it.

It is not yours to approve. I do with my life as it pleases me, and ifI wish to modify my genetic structure, you have no right to interfere.

With these words, Spock left the small bathroom and regained his seat atthe bow of the shuttle.

The doctor cleaned himself and went back to the cot. He took the medicaltricorder that lay nearby and scanned himself. It indicated that thoughhe still was undergoing some changes, he was in better health that hewas before. He took his present situation with a strange serenity: hewasnt the least worried about it. In fact, his worries were all causedby Spock. His unusual behaviour, last night and this afternoon, almostled McCoy to believe he had lost his mind. The fact that he had actuallyconceived a way of becoming a full-blooded Vulcan showed the depth of apain the existence of which the doctor had only surmised. It wouldntsurprise him if Spock had finally cracked under such a heavy burden: thewhole Pon Farr situation and his unreturned love for the captain simplywere the last straws. A few tricorder readings on Spock were enough toconfirm another of his suppositions.

Its happening again soon, isnt it?

Spock turned and glanced apprehensively in the doctors eyes.

Yes. I have approximately two weeks left.

Well, Vulcan is only about 4 days away. That leaves you enough time toarrange something, doesnt it?

Yes, doctor, but first we must revert you to your previous state. Ipulled out all the data I produced during my research: you should betterget acquainted with it, as it might be of use for our purpose.

As he began to read on the console, McCoy noticed his reading speed hadincreased. His memory also seemed to be better that before: his brainwas changing. He only hoped it wouldnt affect his emotions, because hefelt that they were what made him who he was.

After he had finished, a question sprang to his mind.

Will I become a telepath?

Ultimately, yes. But this involves major brain rearrangements thatshould take some time. If we work swiftly, you should not reach thisstage.

Well, wed better get started then.

After a few hours of work, McCoy was subject to violent headaches, onwhich painkillers, even at a large dosage, had no effect.

Doctor, I might be able to help: a mind meld could alleviate you pain.

McCoy was reluctant to let Spock meld with him, but he also knew that itwas stupid to go on suffering when there was a solution at hand.

I dont see any other option, Spock. Just do it.

Spock readied himself, and then pressed his fingers on the doctorstemple. After a few seconds, he frowned and removed them.

I cannot initiate the meld. Your mental barriers prevent me from it.

But Spock, you know as well as I do, that I dont have--

Doctor, you do have mental barriers. There can only be one explanation:you are now a telepath. You were not trained to control you shields, soperhaps it would be easier for you to lower them if you were to engagethe meld. Put your fingers here and here.

He had grabbed the doctors right hand and placed each finger on hisface.

You should now feel something.

The doctor slightly adjusted the position of his fingers.

A tingling?

Yes. Now try to reach this tingling with your mind. I will have myshields down.

I dont seem to... Wait, I...

Suddenly he felt he had entered Spocks mind.

// No doctor, this is not my mind, but a mix of both our minds. I willshow you how to ease your pain, and also how to control your mentalbarriers.//

He did so, then he felt the doctor was about to retreat.

// I can sense my counterpart from the mirror universe inflicted somedamage. You never mentioned it. Repairs are essential for your mentalhealth. I could effect them immediately, if you allow me. //

Spock felt a strong feeling of fear coming from the doctor, but was notaware of its precise cause.

// No, Spock I can manage on my own. //

// I doubt it, but I can understand you reservations about accepting myhelp. When we reach Vulcan, I shall contact my familys healer, he willbe able to assist you. //

Then the meld was broken.

The transformation is progressing at an alarming rate, much morerapidly than I had estimated. I must have done an error in mycalculations.

Spock fed some data into the computer, but suddenly stopped.

I seem to have made the most stupid error conceivable: I used the humancell replacement rate instead of the Vulcan one. With this correction, Iestimate that you will be as Vulcan as I am, 34.72 hours after theinjection.

But thats in 5 hours."

While McCoy was somewhat stunned by this news, Spock was more agitated:he stood up and began pacing. After a few minutes, he stopped and simplyremained standing in front of the still seated doctor.

"It is now unavoidable. You will become a Vulcan. There are, therefore,some facts about the Vulcan mind that you must know. Contrary to what Ialways told you, Vulcans do have feelings. Feelings so strong that werethey left uncontrolled, we would all be savage, brutal, uncivilizedcreatures, not unlike what we were in Ancient Times. You must learn tocontrol these feelings; it is a matter of life or death."

The doctor jumped of his chair and went to face Spock.

"And what of *my* feelings, I don't want to control them. You're sayingthat I become like you, a green blooded, computerized-- "

"What you do with your human feelings is your concern, doctor, but knowthat if you do not master your Vulcan emotions, your human part will becrushed without mercy."

"That's just nice. At least, it'll make an interesting entry in my deathcertificate. 'Crushed by Vulcan emotions': it would certainly be a firstin human history."

"But not in Vulcan history. You must not take this lightly. What I toldyou, no outworlder may know, because the true nature of the Vulcan heartmust remain a secret. There is more to being a Vulcan than pointed earsand logic."

"I know Spock, but I appreciate your warning. I always found Vulcanculture fascinating."

"I wasn't aware of that."

"Well, my interest started because of you: I wanted to know what madeyou tick. But Vulcan refuses to communicate any data to outworlders andthere wasn't much in the Starfleet databases. We have more cultural dataon Gamma Trianguli VI than on Vulcan, all because of that specialderogation. Did you know Vulcan is the only member of the Federationthat does not have the obligation to communicate cultural data?"

"Yes. I was with my father when he negotiated that particularderogation."

"I had no idea you had any ambassadorial experience."

"I stayed with him on Earth for two years before I entered Starfleet."

"Now I see why he was pissed off."

"Although 'pissed off' is hardly an appropriate term to describe aVulcan, the basic idea is correct. He found my choice most illogical:the Vulcan Science Academy would have provided better teaching and aless belligerent life philosophy that Starfleet Academy."

"And yet you chose Starfleet."

"A youthful mistake."

A frown appeared on the doctor's face as he pondered what he washearing.

"I see. So the next logical step after your transformation would havebeen to resign and remain on Vulcan."

"Quite correct. During Pon Farr a child would most certainly have beenconceived. I would have stayed to raise it. Also full-time research hasalways been what I was meant for, just as you were meant to be a doctor,and Jim, a starship captain. I could no longer run from this. Therewould have been no reason for me to stay in Starfleet. You seemsurprised, but you should not be: I would have returned to my people,because, I am, as you so forcefully remind me every day, a Vulcan."

"No, Spock, you're wrong. I try to remind you that you're every bit ashuman as you are Vulcan."

Spock thought the matter over for a few seconds.

"Doctor, would you consider yourself to be a Vulcan?"

"Well, no, but--"

"And yet you are every bit as Vulcan as you are human. My point, doctor,is that genetics are insignificant compared with education. And mine wasVulcan. Now, doctor, I think we ought to get back to our research. Ourtime is limited."

The doctor shot a dubitative glance at Spock, but complied.

It had taken Spock nearly six month to come up with a functionalenzymatic complex, but his approach proved to be readily transposable:in less than two hours, they managed to produce a new complex. Theytested it on an isolated cell, but the complex was destroyed before ithad a chance to modify anything. The next seven hours were spent tryingto solve this one problem. Vulcan genome defence systems are very strongand when they finally managed to circumvent them, they were confrontedwith another problem: the cell could not handle the change back and diedwithin instants.

"What happened? I thought we had it."

"The tricorder indicates that the chromosomes were translated as weexpected, but that they were dysfunctional."

"A change in the complex might do it, then."

Spock pondered the issue for a few seconds.

"I am afraid we are facing a much more difficult problem. As you know,Vulcan chromosomes constantly rearrange themselves, modifying theirstructure to allow access to one particular gene. Access to each gene iscontrolled in this way. This means there are as many differentchromosomal structures as there are genes. As our complex could onlytranslate one of these conformations, it is very likely that some genescould not be translated because their access was blocked."

"Couldn't we force the chromosome into a plain linear form?"

"We could but it would not be helpful: part of the information is in thetertiary structure of the molecule. We might have to consider anotherapproach."

Because the doctor remained silent, obviously troubled by the news,Spock decided that a break would be welcome.

"Doctor, we have not eaten for almost two days. Would you care for aration?"

Without waiting for an answer, Spock stood up and took two field rationsout of one of the boxes. He handed one to the doctor, who still hadn'tmoved.

They both ate in silence. Once he had finished, Spock went through theschematics of the human-Vulcan hybrid cell again, hoping he would find away to cure the doctor. He was no geneticist, but had thought that withMcCoy's collaboration, they would manage to cure him. McCoy's voicestopped this train of thoughts.

"What if we can't turn me back?"

"We have not explored all options yet, doctor."

"And when we have? Will I have to behave like you do or what?"

"You will have the choice. But if you decide not to control your Vulcanemotions, you will be banned from Vulcan and no Vulcan will be allowedto speak with you."

"Bastard, you did that to me!"

With these words, the doctor jumped out of his chair and punched Spock'sright eye. Spock, who had fallen on the floor, was able to avoid most ofthe next hits. He decided to try to reason McCoy.

"You must control your emotions, doctor. They are now controlling you.In all the years, during all these arguments, did you ever hit me?"

Both were still for an instant.

"You never did. You must control your rage. Remember what I told youearlier."

McCoy was lost in his thoughts for some time, and then helped Spock ontothe chair. He took the medikit that was near the cot.

"Let me help you."

Fortunately, Spock had only suffered a few scratches and bruises thatwere soon taken care of.

"I'm sorry, Spock, for this. I don't know if I can hold much longer, thepressure."

"With time you will get used to it. Meditation might help."

"I never."

"I am no teacher but I could show you."

McCoy nodded and Spock engaged the meld. He was surprised by thedifference in the doctor's mind.

// I must compliment you: you learn fast. Most of your thoughts arehidden from me. //

// I saw how you did it. It was easy to copy. //

McCoy sensed Spock hesitate, but didn't know why.

// Then perhaps, if you want, I could show you how I handle my emotions.It is not perfect, but you could copy my system, until you devise yourown method. //

McCoy was amazed that Spock would let him enter so deeply in his mind,that he would allow him to watch his most private thoughts, hisemotions, that, despite the shame he knew Spock felt about this part ofhimself, he was ready to show it to the man who had so often made fun ofhim. He had to compose himself before he could speak.

// Thank you Spock, I know what it means for you, but it would help me.//

And then he was taken there, where he perceived how the fear, the shame,the pain, and even the love Spock felt were all made to obey. Somehow hehad managed to transform these demanding monsters into civilized being,like a well-trained army that Spock could almost command at will. McCoyhad some difficulties to imitate this. After he failed a few times, hedecided to ask Spock for help.

// Spock, if you could take a look and tell me what I'm doing wrong. //

It was Spock's turn to be surprised as he felt the doctor's emotions forthe first time. McCoy's human emotions were dancing around, like so manycats that one could pet and hold but never entirely control, while hisVulcan emotions were frozen, as if a phaser was pointed at them.

// You must force them to obey you, because you cannot keep an eye onthem all the time. //

McCoy tried and failed several times, but each time Spock helped him tobetter his technique. When he finally was successful, Spock explainedhim how to meditate. They broke the meld and each meditated on his side.

McCoy was the first to end his meditation: he urgently needed to use thebathroom. After he had urinated, he noticed that his penis had becomelarger. He had expected the only difference to be the appearance of asecond ridge, but his penis was about one centimetre longer and somewhatthicker. Flaccid. He was more than a little curious about its erectsize. Knowing that Spock was still meditating, he decided to give it atry. It took not much to get fully hard. He was mesmerized by hiserection. It was much larger than usual, but mostly he kept thinkingthat Spock's must be just like this. He had never seen his penis erect,the few glances he had caught during the physicals had not told himmuch. But now it was as if he finally had him in his hand. With thisidea, he started to stroke himself frantically until he was about tocome, and then. nothing. He let out a cry of frustration, but his peniswas already softening.

When he came out, Spock was sitting at the command panel of theshuttlecraft. Something in his demeanour informed McCoy that he knewwhat had happened in that bathroom. He cursed Vulcan hearing andshuttlecraft designers as he sat himself next to Spock, his face greenwith shame. But his inability to come still bothered him: he needed toask someone if it was normal. The idea of asking Spock made himuncomfortable, but he felt he had no choice: the only other Vulcan heknew was Sarek.

"Spock, I'm sorry you heard what I did, I thought you were meditating."

"Curiosity is a perfectly natural reaction, doctor."

"Would you mind if I asked you a question?"

"Go on."

"I didn't manage to. come. Is that normal?"

McCoy was getting more and more embarrassed.

"You forgot that you were in control of your emotions, some of them atleast. You must learn to modulate this control."

"I see."

But the puzzled look on his face clearly showed he didn't.

"I do not know how to explain it differently."

He paused.

"But you will understand that I cannot demonstrate it to you."

Shocked that Spock could even consider showing him, he felt even moreembarrassed that he thought it possible for any man to be.

"Thank you very much; I will try what you suggested next time I findmyself in that situation."

Despite the awkwardness, McCoy was glad they had had this conversation:he knew now that Spock was masturbating. The Vulcan had always been soprivate about his sexual life: he seemed to have none. At each physical,his answers were always the same. No, he had not had any sexual partnerin the last three month. No, he did not feel the need. The questions,destined to help determine the person's mood, were mandatory; had itbeen otherwise Spock would not even have bothered answering them.Thinking of Spock masturbating renewed McCoy's excitation, but this wasrapidly overshadowed by jealousy: the object of Spock's masturbatoryfantasies was Jim, not himself. He sat himself in the chair next toSpock and stared into space, silently pondering his feelings.

Spock had been aroused by the sounds coming from the bathroom. As theevidence became very visible, he had decided to sit himself near thepanel, where it could best be hidden. Getting rid was going to bedifficult as he would be constantly near the doctor and could obviouslynot count on finding any privacy anywhere in the shuttle. He decided toconcentrate on the task ahead: he wanted to search the literature forany article that might help them. He found none. He then asked thecomputer to list all specialists in compared human/Vulcan genomics whoalso had an experience in genetic engineering. Three members of the listwere currently on Vulcan. He recognized one of the names and decided tosend him a message requesting for an appointment. He had alreadycalculated that by using all the ship's energy reserve he would be ableto reach his home planet in little more than one day, but that woulddrastically reduce their safety margin: the slightest problem and theywould be drifting in space with barely enough life support for one day.Nevertheless, it was a risk he was willing to take: his control wasgetting weaker and McCoy's presence was not making it easier. Now morethan ever, did he need solitude, time to really meditate. Earlier, hehad not been able to focus on his current condition; instead, he hadended up searching once again his recently acquired knowledge of geneticengineering, hoping he had overlooked a fact. Yet even hope and sciencecombined had not brought him further. He had admitted to himself that heneeded help from a specialist. Now he only hoped he had chosen the rightman. As he stood up to recalibrate the energy flow from the shuttle, hedecided he should inform the doctor of his intentions.

"You will no doubt agree that we must get to Vulcan as fast as possible.I will modify the shuttlecraft's energy flow to allow us to be there in27.42 hours."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"It is, but time is of the essence."

"Surely one day more or less will not change much."

"Our research is leading nowhere. I contacted a scientist on Vulcan whomight be able to help us. Although my presence is not essential, I wishto see you cured before my time."

"I don't see the relation between the two things."

"After, I will either be a full blooded Vulcan or dead."

McCoy exploded, his features showing an anger, which surprised Spock.

"You can forget about the former: I'll sooner destroy all your researchdata that let you go through with it. And I won't let you die. Eitheryou find someone you like on Vulcan or I call Jim and tell himeverything."

"Very well, I shall seek an appropriate mate, but it might take sometime. The shuttle modifications are still necessary."

"Well then. do them."

Spock did do them and the shuttle's speed increased dramatically. Spockremained near the shuttle's controls, making sure nothing would gowrong.

After a while, he noticed McCoy's obvious boredom.

"You should perhaps consider increasing your knowledge of the Vulcanlanguage. You will no doubt be addressed in it once on the planet."

The doctor simply nodded and sat himself at the console. He ordered thecomputer to display the lessons that were in its memory banks andstarted reading. Meanwhile, Spock was silently pondering what he had todo on Vulcan. They did not speak for hours. A call from Vulcan broke thesilence.

"Spock, here."

"This is Segor. Would a meeting in 6 hours be convenient?"

"Yes. Could we meet at your laboratory?"

"Yes. Do you have the coordinates?"

"Yes. Spock, out."

The channel was closed.

"Wow that was. tense, even for Vulcans."

"Not at all, doctor. There was no need to discuss anything further on anopen channel, considering we would soon meet face to face."

The doctor cocked an eyebrow: Spock was not telling him everything, buthe would drop it for now, until he had met this Segor.

They spend the rest of the journey practicing what McCoy had learned:even though Ancient Vulcan was an extremely complicated language, fullof rules and exceptions, most of these difficulties were absent fromModern Vulcan. Vulcan higher cognitive abilities combined with humaninstincts made that McCoy could now understand about as much as aten-year-old Vulcan child. His pronunciation, however, still much leftto be desired. It was this that he and Spock had been working on and henow felt confident that he would rapidly be able to get rid of hisaccent. It was impossible for humans, but the fact that he his vocalchords had now adopted the peculiar Vulcan structure made it possiblefor him. The strange sounds that were coming out of his mouth pleasedMcCoy to no end: like a child with a brand new toy, he took greatpleasure in discovering what his new body was able to do. There also wasan almost magical feeling about it, like being granted some powers.Somehow, being able to speak a language that no human could pronouncecorrectly seemed to him more surprising and impossible than his newgained telepathy.

Once in orbit around Vulcan, they docked at an orbital station andbeamed down to Spock's house. As they still had an hour before theirmeeting with Segor, they had decided a shower and a change of clotheswould be welcome. With Sarek and Amanda still on their way back from theBabel conference, they had the house for themselves.

"I supposed it'll have to be a sonic shower."

"No. My mother had a water shower installed. A most illogical waste ofwater."

"Well, it's damn better than being cleaned by waves."

"May I remind you that matter also has an undulatory form? To put itmore simply, even water is a wave."

"Shut up Spock and show me the bathroom."

"First I will give you some suitable Vulcan clothing. As you aresomewhat shorter than I am, I will lend you a robe from my youth. Isthat agreeable with you?"

"Why shouldn't it? There's no sign on it that it's a child's cloth, isit?"

"Of course not, I was fifteen when I last wore it."

Spock went upstairs to his room. McCoy accompanied him but stayedoutside: he was curious but Spock had not invited him in, and for once,he respected the other man's wish.

When he came out, he was carrying two folded robes and two pairs ofsandals. He handed one of each to the doctor and walked with himdownstairs, to a bathroom.

"I will go to the other bathroom upstairs. When you are ready, join mein to the living room."

Spock left and the doctor entered the room. He immediately noticed thatthey were two sinks, each with its own paraphernalia: it was Spock'sparents' private bathroom. He felt like an intruder. He hurriedly tookoff his clothes and walked into the shower. When he had cleaned himself,he considered for an instant masturbating, but he decided against it ashe could almost feel Sarek's presence in the room. McCoy grinned as hethought of Spock: he would have said it was a highly illogical thought,because the man was probably light years from here and for once heagreed. He, nevertheless, exited the shower and dried himself with atowel that was lying nearby. As he unfolded the robe, something fell onthe floor: he recognised traditional Vulcan underwear. It was similar toa jockstrap. The idea that Spock had worn it started an erection, whichmade him regret his decision not to masturbate. Before he had time todecide otherwise, he trapped his erection in the underwear, which wassurprisingly large enough to accommodate it without discomfort: Vulcanshad obviously foreseen this situation. He then put on the robe andsandals, which both were a little too long.

Spock was already in the living room when the doctor got there. Theyboth look at each other for long seconds, each pleased to see the otherin this unfamiliar clothing. Their robes were of the same burgundycolour, but the small embroidered patterns were slightly different.Spock snapped out of his contemplation when he noticed how the clothesdid not fit.

"Once our meeting with Segor over, we will have to provide you with moresuitable garments."

"We'll go shopping?"

"I believe I just said as much."

"I don't know. Vulcan doesn't strike me as the best place in theuniverse to go shopping."

"Your ignorance will never cease to amaze me: Vulcan traders are famedaround the galaxy for the quality of their merchandise. There is nobetter place than Vulcan to go shopping."

"We'll see about that."

"Now it is time for us to leave. I will ask Sapok to drive us there."

"Sapok?"

"Yes. He has been is my family's employment for many years."

"You said we were alone in the house."

"We are. He lives next door."

"I suppose he keeps an eye on the house while your parents are away."

"There is no need. Theft does not exist here. Doors are never evenlocked."

Spock walked out of the house and, as if to demonstrate what he had justsaid, entered the neighbouring one without even bothering to ring. Thedoctor followed him in hesitantly.

Spock was facing an old man, well over 200 years old, estimated McCoy.They both had their right hand forming the Vulcan salute.

"Spock, I thought I had heard you. It is a pleasure to see you. So manyyears have past since your last visit. I thought I would die withoutseeing you again."

Spock was visibly embarrassed by the old man's display of emotion anddid not answer.

"What a strong man you have become. You look much as your father didwhen he was your age."

Decided to stop this, Spock gestured McCoy to come nearer and startedspeaking in Vulcan as the other man had.

"This is McCoy, a friend from the Enterprise. He is ill and must bebrought to the Academy. Would you accept to drive us there?"

"Of course. I am sure you remember where the vehicle is and how to bringit out of the garage. I shall join you in a moment."

The old man went upstairs, while the other two took the stairsdownwards.

McCoy couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the hovercraft. It was anold model but it was very powerful one. Spock sat himself at thedriver's seat and powered up the engine.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? He said you knew how to drive thisthing, but it seems a dangerous machine."

"My father would not allow me to drive it, but Sapok always let me bringit out of the garage. I did this exactly 2562 times: I assure you I canhandle this part of the journey."

McCoy jumped into the front passenger seat. The short ride to the streetwas not as rough as he had expected. Spock was indeed very proficientwith a steering wheel in his hands.

Sapok was already waiting in the street. Spock left him his seat and sathimself in one of the backseats. They travelled in silence, until McCoystarted to speak in a hesitant, but nevertheless correct Vulcan.

"Have you known Spock for long?"

McCoy knew the answer but wanted to know more about Spock's childhood:Amanda had not told him much.

"Yes, I have known him since before he had any teeth."

The doctor glanced at Spock who was acting as if he hadn't heard athing.

"That must have been a sight."

"Yes. He was a pleasant child. I still have some pictures of thisperiod, if you are interested."

Spock was somewhat confused: he found it immensely flattering that McCoywas interested in his childhood, but still was embarrassed to no end. Heremembered the images of him he knew Sapok had kept: on one, he wasrunning naked through the garden, and worse, on several others, he wasactually smiling. If McCoy were to see them, he would tease him for therest of his life.

"He is not interested. McCoy is only a fellow officer. My childhood doesnot concern him."

"Very well. I thought I had heard you call him your friend, but my oldears must be deceiving me."

Neither spoke until they arrived at the Academy.

"Thank you transporting us. We will manage to come back on our own."

"Thank you Mr. Sapok, it was nice meeting you."

The old man's hand waved a Vulcan salute at them, them left. Theystarted to walk towards one of the buildings.

"I must apologize for his behaviour. He is 268 years old, which is anadvanced age even by Vulcan standards. Great age sometimes makes Vulcansemotional."

"I found him nice and. he likes you very much. He was something of agrand-father to you, wasn't he?"

"He is a member of my family, but not one of my ancestors--"

"You know what I mean: he was nice to you, when your father gave you ahard time, and so on."

Spock didn't care to answer.

"Segor's lab is over there. We should hurry; we are already 5.84 minuteslate."

"Oh my god! 5.84 minutes? In that case, we'd better hurry."

Although Spock had eluded his question, McCoy knew he had been rightabout Sapok: again, he was surprised by how much he didn't know aboutSpock, and he found that each new piece of information made him love theman even more.

Science labs all over the galaxy all looked the same, and Segor's was noexception. Both McCoy and Spock felt right at home when they entered.

The man who was currently reading on his computer console was aboutSpock's age. When he finally stood up, McCoy noticed they were about thesame height and corpulence. Vulcan greetings were exchanged, but thedoctor was still not able to get his fingers to behave properly. Segornoticed his difficulties and addressed him in Federation Standard.

"You're not Vulcan?"

"Well, at the moment I happen to be half Vulcan, but I. wasn't born thisway."

"I see. How did this happen?"

"It was my doing. I--"

Spock had started to answer, when, suddenly, McCoy had an idea.

"I was infected by the Rigellian red mountain fever. As there is no curefor humans but one for Vulcans, Spock produced some enzymes that wouldchange my DNA and allow us to cure me."

McCoy thought he was hallucinating when he saw the faint smile onSegor's face.

"If you had told me you had had the Denebian snow disease or even theKlingon scaly rash, I would have believed you, but I just happen to haveread that the Rigellian red mountain fever had been declaredextinguished sometimes last month."

Spock and McCoy were now intently avoiding the other man's gaze.

"But let me guess what happened."

Segor walked towards Spock.

"You wanted to become a full-blooded Vulcan."

He paused in front of him then came nearer to McCoy.

"And you were there to prevent him from achieving his goal."

The doctor stared in Segor's eyes.

"How did you know?"

"For us hybrids, it is very difficult. We belong to neither group. Spockhas always been closer to the Vulcan way, so I thought he might betempted by such foolishness. The rest was just logical deductions."

"You're half-Vulcan too?"

"Yes, I am half-human. and so will you probably for the rest of yourlife."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I am like Spock, you see. I find being a hybrid not an acceptablesituation. But I was raised on Earth and the half I want to get rid ofis Vulcan. So, I have spent the last ten years searching for a way tobecome a full-blooded human, but I found none."

McCoy was silenced by this revelation: it was the idea that he soonwould be human again that had allowed him to remain so serene. Now hefelt like crying. Instead, he firmly held onto his control. He used whatSpock had shown him on this human emotion and it worked: the pain wasstill there, but it was not going to take over. He was satisfied by hisskilled handling of the situation, but at the same time, immensely sad,because he knew he had just lost yet another part of his humanity. Whilehe was pondering these emotions, Spock had started to speak with Segor.

"I was not aware you were researching this. You did not publish anythingon this topic."

"Do you really think the VSA would let me go on with my research if theyknew I was looking for a way to transform Vulcan chromosomes?"

"Indeed, they would not. Why do you stay on Vulcan, then? Wouldn't Earthbe a more suitable environment?"

Again, Segor smiled.

"How can you ask such a stupid question? Where could I be more humanthan among Vulcans, just as where could you be more Vulcan than amonghumans?"

Spock did not answer.

"I am sorry I could not help you out."

He hesitated for an instant.

"Perhaps you would accept to join me for dinner tonight?"

McCoy glanced at Spock, who obviously did not know what to answer.

"Sorry, but we've been up for two days, and I am starting to feeltired."

"Well then, tomorrow perhaps."

Spock answered, before McCoy had time to find an excuse to refuse again

"The doctor and I will gladly accept you invitation."

"Fine. This reminds me that we haven't been introduced. I am Segor andyou are?"

He reached out his right hand, which the doctor shook after he hadassured himself that his mental barriers were holding.

"Doctor Leonard H. McCoy, chief medical officer of the Enterprise."

"I am a doctor too, but Vulcans don't like it to use titles outside ofprofessional settings. Here I am just Segor, son of Edward."

"Your father was human?"

"Yes. He had a tea plantation near the Himalaya. That's how he met mymother: she was a trader."

"That reminds me we must go shopping: this robe is too long, and if I'mgoing to be a Vulcan all my life I'd better buy a few of them."

The sight of Segor's smile made McCoy wish to see Spock's faceenlightened in such an endearing fashion. His interest in pointed earsreally took another dimension now he had seen them above smilingfeatures.

"There aren't many shops around here. Perhaps I could drop you offsomewhere?"

"It is most kind of you. We would appreciate it if you could bring us tothe Surak Plaza. Once the shopping done, the doctor and I would be closeenough to walk home."

"No problem."

Soon after they were in the centre of ShiKahr. Even though the streetswere crowded, there seemed to be an order of some sort, which surprisedMcCoy, used to bustling streets. Here people did not touch one anotherand hardly talked. He decided to copy their attitude and silentlyfollowed Spock. They entered one of the larger shops. Spock walkedtowards a salesclerk and handed him his ID.

"We need robes."

McCoy was puzzled by Spock's attitude: why would he give this man hisID?

Furthermore, he realized he had left his papers and his credit chip inhis uniform. He came nearer to Spock to tell him, when the other manspoke again

"And he?"

Spock glanced at McCoy, hesitating for an instant.

"He is also of my family."

"Follow me."

He brought them into a small room full of fabrics and left them.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I would have assumed that it was quite obvious even for you that we areexpected to choose the fabric in which our robes will be made."

The doctor was now fuming and almost shouting.

"Of course that's obvious! But why did you give him your ID and, for godsake's, since when am I a member of your family?"

"Doctor, on Vulcan, the colour of the clothing indicates the family towhich you belong: this is why I handed him my ID. Outworlders must wearplain black robes, signalling to all that they do not follow the Vulcanway. A Vulcan wearing such a robe would bring up questions that I wishedto avoid. If you prefer, you can wear black."

"No. Let's just pick a fabric and get out of here."

All fabric rolls were brown or red, with small non-figurative patterns.The major difference between them was in texture. Some were silky, somewere closer to cotton, and some were simply unlike anything McCoy knew.

Spock noticed the doctor's puzzlement.

"This is Vulcan linen. The fabric it is made of is one of the few plantsthat can grow in the heat of the Forge. It is very resistant and easy totake care of. A good choice."

"We prefer to keep it to ourselves: the production is barely sufficientto cover Vulcan needs, selling it to outworlders would increase itsprice by a 564 factor, which would render it inaccessible for mostVulcans. The council decided it would be a most illogical course ofaction."

McCoy smiled.

"This reminds me: I forgot my credit chip in my uniform. You will haveto lend me some credits for the robe."

"There is no need. I will charge it on my family's account."

"I'm not sure your father will appreciate that you pay clothes tostrangers with his credits."

"He won't notice. My father leaves the financial aspects of his life toan accountant."

"But if he sees that I wear your family's colour, he's bound to bepissed off."

"I find it rather curious that you attempt once more to describe myfather's mental state with this highly un-Vulcan expression. To answeryour worries, I can assure you that once he will be made aware of thecircumstances, he will agree that my decision was the only logical one."

"You want to tell him?"

"I don't see we have another choice."

McCoy grinned mischievously.

"Well, I could have contracted the Denebian snow disease and you curedme."

Spock's features showed an almost-smile.

"I forgot to thank you for your attempt to conceal my actions. Your ideawas a brilliant one. But I do not wish to deceive my father."

"I'll lie to him if that's what's bothering you. You'll just have tokeep quiet."

Spock pondered the idea for some moments.

"I would indeed prefer it this way. But if he questions me directly, Iwill tell him the truth."

McCoy nodded.

"We should contact the clerk, so he can take our measurements."

With these words, Spock left the room. McCoy still hadn't chosen whenthe two men came back.

"I will take this one."

Spock pointed to one of the fabrics the doctor was hesitating between.He considered for an instant picking the same as Spock, but decidedagainst it: they already wore the same clothes the rest of the year. Theother man had pulled out something that looked like a tricorder and waswaving it in front of Spock. Once done, he looked at the doctor, whoanswered his silent question by pointing at one of the fabrics. It thenwas his turned to be scanned.

"If you would go to the second room down in the corridor, you will findsandals there. I need to discuss some details with him."

McCoy felt he was being dismissed by Spock but complied: he needed othershoes, because he couldn't stand anymore the flapping sound he made whenhe walked with those. The choice wasn't difficult: the sandals were allalmost identical. He picked one randomly. The other salesclerk scannedhim and brought back the appropriate size. He noticed that he wasn'texpected to try them on: there wasn't even a seat in the room for him todo so. Spock was where he left him, discussing something with thesalesclerk. When he saw McCoy, he ended his discussion and the other manleft.

"They will deliver everything tomorrow. We may go home now."

"Couldn't we wander a little around? I've never been on Vulcan, apartfrom... you know."

Spock did not appreciate being reminded of his failed wedding, but hesaid nothing.

They slowly walked out of the store.

"Why doesn't anyone talk?"

"Vulcans value their privacy. The street is no place for conversationbecause anyone may overhear what is said. "

"But it's not forbidden?"

"Of course not. Doctor, you sometimes have the strangest ideas."

"Is it true what Segor said, that Vulcans don't like the use of titles?"

"Yes, it is considered rude."

"Then you better call me Leonard."

A huge grin appeared on the doctor's features.

"If you wish. Leonard."

"Good boy."

They had reached the Surak Plaza again. In its middle was a small park.People were gathered in it, watching something that the doctor couldn'tsee yet. They walked toward it and when McCoy finally saw what it was,he was horrified: there was a man waving a knife at another man. He saidsomething that the doctor couldn't make out, and then stabbed twice.McCoy ran to him and hit him, making his nose bleed. He then knelt nextto the injured man: the cuts were deep, but without his tricorder, hecould not say more. Spock was rapidly at his side.

"His injuries are minimal: in two hours he should be walking again."

"And how do *you* know that?"

"I will explain, but please stand back and say nothing while I speak tothe other."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. Spock took this for an agreement and went tothe man McCoy had hit.

"You must forgive my cousin's behaviour."

"I should call the authorities: he is dangerous."

"He meant no disrespect. He wasn't aware: he suffers from amnesia."

The other was silent for an instant.

"I grieve with thee for thy cousin. I shall not report his actions."

"My family is in your debt."

Spock turned and grabbed McCoy's elbow, pushing him out of the crowd andinto one of the streets.

"You interrupted a representation of the life of Surak. Vulcan actorsactually stab each other when such a scene is required, but they aretrained to only stab areas that will cause minimal injuries."

"Don't tell me that's logical: couldn't they just fall on the floormoaning, like human actors?"

"No, because Vulcans are telepaths. We feel the pain that the actorexperiences when he is stabbed."

The doctor muttered some insult, shaking his head, then went on talkingmore clearly.

"First I'm a member of your family. Fine. Then I am a cousin. I mean,why not. If you want. But why in the name of god, am I an amnesiac? Andwhy did he react as if you told him I was dead?"

"Amnesia is worse than death, for there is no katra left of the personthat is gone. And in a way, you are an amnesiac: you are a full grownVulcan, who has no knowledge of the Vulcan way."

"But amnesiacs can recover their memory. You helped Kirk do just that."

"No, the Vulcan brain and mind do not allow this: it is a whole newperson that must be retrained. The worse part is that amnesia is morefrequent in Vulcan's than in humans: the VSA must even organise specialclasses for them."

McCoy let the information sink into his mind, before he spoke.

"In these courses, they learn all what makes a Vulcan who he is?"

"Yes."

A few more seconds silence.

"Could I attend one of them?"

"Are you sure it is what you want? Once back to the Enterprise, no onewill expect you to behave as a Vulcan or to know Vulcan culture."

"It looks like I'm going to be half-Vulcan for some time. Some day Iwill be faced with other Vulcans: I can't just ignore them, just as Ican't explain each time how I became a Vulcan and why I don't know adamn thing about the Vulcan way. We're here for some time, so I might aswell use it to do some catching up. Besides, I already told you I likedVulcan culture."

"I will find you a course for tomorrow."

"Thanks."

They walked in silence for about twenty minutes.

"I hope we're at least walking in the right direction."

"Yes, we should be there in a moment."

McCoy grinned.

"It's funny that winding streets should be considered more logicallyappropriate than straight ones: I'm sure if the opposite had been true,we would have been home ten minutes ago."

Spock simply raised an eyebrow and answered with a teasing voice.

"The logical road is not always the shortest one."

McCoy's eyes grew wide in disbelief. He glanced at Spock, and simplylaughed.

Spock had been right: they reached the house only a few minutes later.

"You stated earlier that you were tired. We should perhaps dine lightlyand go to bed."

They entered the kitchen and Spock headed for the stasis closet. Hisparents had never deemed necessary to install a food synthetizer: thecooking was done in the traditional way, something he personally neverdid, which made him apprehensive. Fortunately for him, McCoy had someexperience, and decided to make a salad with the vegetables they found.He laughed when he saw how Spock chopped something that looked likegreen carrots.

"You never did this?"

"No. I never had the opportunity."

McCoy considered for an instant telling him that he had cut thevegetable without peeling them.

"So this nonsense about quitting Starfleet and entering the VSA, it'sover?"

A lie would have been easier, but Spock just couldn't.

"I do not know, yet. It will depend on my mate."

Knowing he was threading in dangerous grounds, the doctor took a momentto formulate his question carefully.

"How do you plan to find a mate?"

"There is a governmental agency specialised in this, but I doubt theywould see it kindly if I were to request a male partner."

"If I believe your theory, he must be a half-Vulcan. Therefore, you justneed to contact each one of them and ask if they're bonded. Thereshouldn't be many."

"No, there are only 6 male adult half-Vulcan hybrids, exception made ofyou and me."

Although they didn't know it, they both were thinking about the samethings at that moment: how much they would love to be bonded with eachother, how this would solve all their problems, and mostly, how painfulit was to know that the other was not inclined that way.

"What about Segor?"

"He is unbonded."

"But you don't like him, do you?"

"I do not know him. I only met him once, ten years ago, when I tried tofind out if we were all homosexuals. I cannot form an opinion when Ilack the data."

"Poppycock. You're not asked for a rational decision: you must *feel*whether you like him enough to. be with him. You'll get to know himafterwards."

"This hardly seems the logical way to proceed: if I were to find outonce bonded that I do not like him, I would not be able to simplydivorce and choose another mate. It is for life."

This pained McCoy more than he thought possible: Spock would not justfuck this guy once and forget about him. He would be with someone elsefor ever, if he did not speak. For an instant, he considered tellinghim, but he couldn't: Spock would hate him or worse think it was somesort of pity on his part and never trust him again.

"Let's eat."

He tossed all the cut vegetables in a bowl and started looking for somedressing.

Meanwhile, Spock put dishes and glasses on the kitchen table. He got afresh bottle of Altair water and sat down. A minute later, the doctorbrought the salad and sat beside him. Spock noticed he was in a darkmood, but did not know how to force him out of it. He decided to start aconversation but had difficulties finding a neutral topic, until heremembered how the doctor had seemed interested in his childhood.

"I never ate here. We always used the dinning room."

"Logical."

Determined not to let the doctor ignore his attempts at conversation,Spock went on.

"Yes, but that was not the main reason. My parents had established rulesand one of them was that I was not to enter the kitchen. They perceivedit was a dangerous place for a child. The first time I came into thisroom I was 10. Were your parents just as strict?"

McCoy went on eating for a few seconds.

"No. My mother left my father and me when I was 4. I never really knewher. From then on, my father couldn't refuse me anything. I wassomething of a spoiled brat."

"I did not know. I am sorry to have brought up this topic."

"It's nothing Spock, I had quite happy childhood. My father had a secondwife that took good care of me. She was not my mother, but she loved memore than my real mother ever did."

"That was most fortunate."

"Indeed, it was."

As if all his black thoughts had suddenly disappeared, McCoy laughed.Spock did not fully comprehend the source of the doctor's amusement, butwas glad that he had managed to lift his spirits. As he had finishedeating, he stood up and put his plate in the sonic sink. At the sight ofthe antic, he thought to himself that he would never understand hisparents' choice regarding kitchen equipment: it was rudimentary at bestand certainly not suited to the life they were leading. McCoy came nextto him and put his plate on Spock's.

"How do you operate this thing?"

"I do not know but I shall endeavour to find out."

The doctor watched, a grin on his face, how Spock looked, probed andtested every corner of the device but was unable to start it. After fiveminutes, he grew bored and decided to help Spock. They finallydiscovered a safety mechanism under it that prevented the sink fromworking: they removed it and were elated to hear a buzzing sound comingfrom it.

Once the kitchen cleaned up, they proceeded to the living room. They satthere for a moment watching the sun set in silence. The room was darkwhen Spock finally spoke.

"I should go prepare your room."

Forcing himself out of his reverie, McCoy stood up.

"And I'll go and pick up my uniform. I left it in the bathroom. Whatshould I do with it?"

"There is a laundry chute in your room."

Each went his way. To Spock this was yet another new experience: henever had a friend sleep over before. The guest room had only everserved visiting members of the family. He remembered that once he usedit too, when he had come back in time to save himself that night in thedesert. Poor I'Chaya. He hoped for an instant that the boy he left wouldnot miss his sole friend too much, but at the same time, knew that hewould. Life had been easier after the Kahs-wan, as he no longer neededto choose between the human and Vulcan way, but he sometimes had stillneeded the comforting presence of his friend. And that would not beavailable to this Spock. He felt he had let himself down by letting thesehlat be killed. He decided not to think of his other self andconcentrated on preparing the room. He had just finished making the bedwhen he sensed McCoy's presence. He was examining the room.

"This room is bigger than my quarters."

"Here space is not such a restricted commodity: Vulcan is only sparselypopulated even by human standards. This is partially because the planetis 2.79 times larger than Earth."

"Spare me the geography, Spock."

He paused unsure of how what he was about to say would be interpreted.

"I like the decoration: it's simple and elegant. But the dark red colourcan be somewhat. oppressive."

"It is the colour of my family."

"I noticed. Like our robes and like your quarters on the Enterprise."

"Yes."

An uncomfortable silence developed as neither knew what to say.

"You stated earlier you were tired. I should perhaps leave you."

He turned to leave.

"You don't have to, if you don't want."

McCoy cringed as he realized what he had just said. He thought thatanyone else would have taken this as a come-on, but not Spock. He waswrong: even Spock considered the words could be interpreted that way,but decided his feelings were affecting his perception.

"I cannot stay: I still have to find a suitable class for tomorrow. Ifyou need anything, my room is the one on your right."

"I know Spock. Thank you."

"Goodnight, Leonard."

"Goodnight, Spock."

He left and went to his room. He logged into his console and found in amatter of minutes what he was looking for. On the registration form, heentered Selek: he saw no other option available than to use the name, heonce wore himself. Then, he decided to write a message to his parents,or more precisely, to his mother informing her of his presence. Hesupposed Sapok had already informed her, but thought it would beimproper not to send her a message himself, especially as he had invitedsomeone to stay in their house. His father might not be very pleased byhis behaviour, but would be forced to accept it. He hoped he wouldbelieve McCoys lie, because if he didnt the ensuing discussion wouldbe even less pleasant than their last one, 18 years ago.

Meanwhile the doctor had removed his robe and realized he had nopyjamas. He usually wore one on the ship because he could not predictwhat would happen in the middle of the night that would force him out ofbed without letting him time to get dressed. He considered for aninstant keeping his underwear, but finally decided that he would be morecomfortable in the nude. The air was cool against his skin, which madehim smile: during hid last visit he had found it so hot, he had hadtrouble breathing. He briefly wondered how Spock could stand to live inwhat must be to him the icy air of the Enterprise and then crawled intobed to get warm. Usually after two days without sleep, he would beexhausted and fall asleep as soon as he would be allowed to rest, butnow he was only slightly tired and not even remotely sleepy: Vulcanstamina had its advantages. He thought about the last few days: so manythings had changed since that last night on the ship when all he wantedwas to get drunk and forget. Now he wasnt even sure he could ever getdrunk again, because of Vulcan physiology. Sometimes he thought he wouldgo berserk if he heard the blasted word again. Not that he didnt likeVulcans, he even loved one of them. It was the way Spock used this wordthat had first made him hate it: whenever he wanted to avoid talkingabout something, or elude his concern, he just said he was a Vulcan asif it meant rules of nature did not apply to him, as if the simple useof the word gave him powers no human or no Vulcan, for that matter, had.He laughed as he realized that now *he* could try it on Spock, so hecould experience by himself just how annoying it was to be confronted toa super-Vulcan. At the same time, he felt he now understood whatSpock meant: in the past McCoy had often wished to be granted the typeof control he had been able to display earlier that day. He could seehow it would make him feel all-powerful, as if he could do as it pleasedhim with himself: in comparison, the way in which human handle theiremotions must have appeared very inefficient and somewhat frightening toSpock. McCoy supposed being a Vulcan meant for him both protection fromoneself and greater strength in adverse situations, and realized his ownattacks against the Vulcan way probably strengthened this belief. Someof the things Spock had told him in the shuttlecraft now made somesense. He had often wished to know more about him and felt that he wasnow closer than ever: perhaps one day he would really know Spock. Thisidea made him feel warm and happy, until he remembered he could never bewith Spock. The unbearable sadness took him over once again and thistime he did nothing to stop it: he let the tears roll and ended upcrying himself into sleep.

From his room, Spock heard the muffled noises and for an instant wishedfor things to be different. How he longed to go and ease McCoys sorrow.But he could not: he was a Vulcan. That McCoy was so pained to be aVulcan made Spock feel guilty. He wanted to punish himself, but couldnot find a punishment fitting his crime. He simply sat there, horrifiedby what he was hearing and forcing himself to think about a lessemotional topic: redesigning the sonic isolation of the house. Once thesobs had stopped, he decided to meditate. He sat himself on his bed aswas his habit on the Enterprise, and attempted to calm himself. He fellasleep before he could reach his inner equilibrium.

The next morning the sound of the door ringing woke him. Spock stood uplooking for his clothes before he realized he had slept in them. Hehurried to the door where the delivery boy handed him their purchases.He put his robe in his room and brought the rest to the guest room. Thedoctor was still fast asleep. Spocks internal clock informed him heshould wake if he wanted him to be on time for the class. He put theboxes on the desk and went to the bed, where he called the doctor. McCoyimmediately woke up and saw Spock. He was about to sit up when heremembered his state of undress.

Your class begins in 1.42 hours. You should stand up now if you wish tobe on time. Your clothes are on the desk.

Thanks Spock, Ill be up in a minute.

But he didnt move. Spock waited, wanting to be sure that the doctorwould not return to sleep.

You do plan on standing up, Leonard?

McCoy was mildly annoyed by his persistence.

Yes, Spock. Its just that Im somewhat naked and waited for you toleave.

Spock could feel himself blush but was sure it went unnoticed.

I fail to see why that should be a problem: before each quarterlyphysical, you tell me, why I do not know, that there is no reason to beashamed by nakedness, that we were all born that way.

And he left the room.

McCoy was too startled to laugh, so he simply stood up and went to thethree boxes that were waiting on the desk. He wondered why there shouldbe three of them, until he discovered one of them was full withunderwear. He blushed and remembered Spock talking to the salesclerkwhile he chose the sandals. McCoy was touched by the thoughtful gesture,even though he was slightly disappointed not to be wearing Spocks ownunderwear again. As he was impatient to try his new clothes, he dressedhimself without taking a shower. He found everything fit perfectly, andbegan to search for a mirror. There was one in the closet were he couldsee himself in full. He noticed his figure hadnt really changed. But itwas the first time that he saw see his face: it was the same, except forthe obvious differences, and yet, he found he seemed more dignified andsevere than before. As dignified and severe as one could be with tousledhair and sleepy eyes. He combed his hair with his hands, as he usuallydid and went to the kitchen.

I made you some tea, as there is no coffee.

Thanks.

He grabbed the cup and took a sip.

Id also like to thank you for the clothes. Everything fits perfectly,as you can see.

As, for once, it was perfectly acceptable to look, Spock examined thedoctor from head to heel. He even stood up to circle around the otherman. He noticed how the robe made McCoys buttocks look much moreappealing than the uniform ever did. He surmised this was the casebecause there was only one layer of fabric and not two: Vulcan underwearhad its advantages, and Spock regretted it wasnt standard Starfleetissue. Then he remembered the countless number of times he and thecaptain had stripped from their uniforms to disguise themselves and wasglad it wasnt.

You should thank the tailor, not me.

McCoy was slightly annoyed by this sentence, but was determined to thankSpock even against his will, if he had to.

The tailor did a good job, but I also wished to thank you for the rest.I had forgotten I needed underwear, it was very nice of you to thinkabout it.

Not at all, it simply was the logical thing to do.

He saw that his answer did not please the doctor.

Youre welcome, Leonard.

McCoy grinned and resumed drinking his tea. He sat himself at the tableand Spock joined him.

I registered you into a course, but I could not use your real name.Your new name is Selek, son of SSaak. You are my cousin from the RSalprovince. An accident while you were travelling to the family shrineleft you suffering from amnesia. You are staying with us until you arefit enough to travel home. If someone were to ask, you lost youridentification. If the need were to arise, however, I could provide youwith a false identity chip.

McCoy smiled when he heard the name: he had heard the report aboutSpocks journey into his own past and was flattered to be shown onceagain how much Spock trusted him.

You are a man of many talents, Spock.

Anyone with an A5 computer expert classification can forge an ID.

And you are an A7, so it would be a piece of cake for you, but I dontthink it will be necessary: if theyre too curious, Ill just quit. Isthere anything else I should know? I dont want to commit any othersacrilege.

Spock raised an eyebrow at the choice of words.

As an amnesiac, you are expected to make some mistakes. You shouldhowever remember to speak only in Vulcan. The use of Standard would besuspicious. Also, if you could avoid excessive emotional displays...

Damn... and I who thought I could just go there and weep all the tearsin my body.

A shadow crossed Spocks face but the doctor did not notice it.

You would no doubt end up in a hospital: nervous breakdowns are notunheard of, when amnesiacs are concerned.

Well, its understandable: I cant even begin to imagine what it wouldbe like to forget everything.

Spock did not answer. He had always been scared more by the prospect ofamnesia or madness than by death, even though he knew it was illogical:were he to suffer from either, it would not be him who would bare thepain, but someone else, who would just happen to occupy his body. Hefinished his cup of tea and stood up.

I cannot provide you with an acceptable breakfast here. If you wish toeat, it will have to be somewhere else.

Wed better get going then.

They both exited the house and started walking. After a few hundredmetres they were out of the residential district where the house was andentered a more animated part of town.

The classes are held in here: it is the district school. We have 23.69minutes to eat something, if you wish to.

I am a little hungry, but I dont think Ill die if I dont eat.

I am sure you wont.

He entered what could best be described as a café. The doctor followedhim in.

Take a seat. I will order.

He went to the counter and came back. A minute later, the waiter wasalready bringing them their orders.

What is it?

The most efficient manner to ascertain this is to taste it.

Spock picked up his fork and started eating what looked to McCoy asblue-coloured mashed potatoes. He could smell the strong cinnamon odour:as he never liked cinnamon, it did not encourage him to taste the food.His hunger finally got the better of him and he was pleasantlysurprised: it was very sweet and accommodated with various spices thatharmoniously complemented the cinnamon, making it acceptable.

Youll have to give me the recipe for this stuff.

I doubt it you would find the ingredients anywhere else than onVulcan.

Then, youll have to program it into the ships food synthesizers, whenwere back on the Enterprise.

You seem to appreciate my selection.

Yes, its good, but... Im somewhat doubtful as to its dieteticqualities.

You are wrong: it is perfectly balanced: one could live a whole lifewith this as only source of nourishment.

Then we should perhaps open up a fabric of this stuff and sell itthroughout the galaxy: wed make a fortune.

Spock simply raised an eyebrow and went on eating. At the same time, hekept on glanced around, thoroughly examining the room.

You came here when you went to school, didnt you?

Yes.

From your face, I can see its not a happy memory.

Spock fidgeted and waited a few seconds before he answered.

Quite the contrary, Leonard: this place often was a refuge, when themore arrogant boys would chase me.

It was that bad?

It certainly was not pleasant.

McCoy found himself at a loss of words: although he felt Spocks painand wanted to console him, finding the appropriate actions was beyondhis reach. It was as if the words and the gestures would not come tohim, no matter how much he wanted it. Trapped in that seeminglyinsensitive posture, he thought he finally understood what it was likefor Spock to feel emotions. Unable to do anything else, he went oneating. When he had finished his plate, he stood up and went to thecounter, where he paid the waiter: he was glad he had remembered to takehis credit chip with him. He walked out of the café, still ponderingwhat had happened. Up to now, he had always *felt* his way through live,and it was this ability to use his hunches and his gut feelings thatmade him a good doctor. What if he had lost this? There was thisvulcan-ness inside of him, which prevented him from doing what hewanted. What if he could not fight it?

He suddenly realized that he hadnt even checked if Spock had followedhim out. He stopped and looked around. The Vulcan was standing at hisside, obviously disturbed by McCoys behaviour.

Is there a problem, Leonard?

Ill be fine. There is no need to talk about it.

Spock was unsure of the correct way to answer: he was concerned by hisfriends behaviour, but did not want to intrude into his privacy. Thatsome thoughts were not meant to be discussed was something Spockunderstood very well. He finally decided he should show his support, butnot in a pressing manner. The words he chose came out with more emotionthan he had intended.

If you ever wish to talk, I will be there.

Ill keep that in mind.

The doctors words were spoken with a coldness that finally allowedSpock to grasp the full horror of what he had done to him. He had notrealized the transformation had profoundly altered the other mans mind.His behaviour had remained coherent up to this display of insensitivity:had it been any other man, it would not have affected Spock, but, whilehe had witnessed McCoy displaying the whole spectra of emotions goingfrom hate to love, he had never seen him insensitive. It was against thenature of the man, or so he had thought. With a nauseating bitterness,Spock admitted to himself that he had perhaps solved his problem afterall: he had destroyed the one he loved.

All he wanted now was to sit down and meditate but he kept on walking,following the frantic pace McCoy had set. When they reached the school,the doctor finally stopped: he didnt know the number of the room. Heasked Spock, who answered him in Vulcan.

Room 306. Remember to speak in the adequate language.

The doctor nodded and answered in Vulcan.

I wont forget.

They reached the room and McCoy sat himself at one of the table. Therewere only four other students and the teacher was not yet there.

You will be expected to eat lunch here, but if you prefer I can pickyou up at noon.

No, Ill be fine.

Then, Ill come when the classes are over.

No, I think I can walk home alone. You have a lot of things to do; Idont want to bother you.

For a second, Spock considered insisting upon being present, but foundno logical argument to support his wish.

Very well.

He handed McCoy a small device.

Usual communicator frequencies are monitored. With this, you can safelycontact me at any moment. If you were to encounter any sort of problem,do not hesitate using it. I do not plan to be more than a few minutesaway from here.

A faint smile appeared on McCoys features.

Thank you... mother.

Both Spocks eyebrows went up, but the presence of the others did notallow him to answer as he wished to. More students had arrived, followedby the teacher.

Spock left just before the class started. As he walked through the emptycorridors, he realized that he had good memories about this place: ofcourse, there had been the other boys and the incessant teasing, buthere he had also discovered science and the pleasure of learning.Without these two things, his life would be meaningless. Even though itwas illogical, he was happy to be there where he had performed his firstexperiments, where he had solved his first differential equations, wherehe had built his first computer. But this happiness was overshadowed bythe strangeness of the doctors behaviour: he could neither explain itnor do anything about it. He couldnt even ask someone for an advice:his usual advisor on human behaviour was the doctor himself. At themoment, he even regretted that his mother was not present: although hewould not have admitted to it, he would welcome some of her highlyillogical, intuitive suggestions. As he could find no solution to hisproblem, he forced himself to forget about McCoy for the moment andfocused on what was to come: he was walking towards the Ministry ofFamily, where an acceptable mate would be selected for him. It was theonly way. No matter how much he dreaded the prospect of having any formof intimacy with a woman, the idea of contacting each half-Vulcans andasking them about their marital status was much more frightening.Moreover, he had reasoned that a woman could accept his interest inanother man as a by-product of his genetic background, whereas a man,confronted with Spocks feeling for McCoys, would automatically beaware of the true nature of the attachment. Something he wished to avoidat all cost.

As his parents lived in one of the more upscale parts of ShiKahr, manyministries could be found in that area: the one he was looking for wasone of them. A few minutes of walk brought him at its doorstep. Inside,he asked for the appropriate service and was given a map of thebuilding: there were only two floors, but these spread on an impressivesurface: to reach the matchmakers office he walked longer than he didto cover the distance from the school to the entrance of the ministry.The conception of the building itself seemed flawed to Spock: there wasonly one corridor that snaked through the whole building. After he hadchanged floors twelve times, he reached the office he was looking forand rang. From the map, he deduced that the entrance was only 12.6metres away. He was slightly annoyed with this fact, wondering why suchan irrational strategy had been adopted by the architect. He still waslost in his thoughts when a clerk opened the door and gestured him in.

Are you here to begin a mate selection procedure?

Spock nodded.

For yourself or your child?

For myself.

He was handed a paper form and a pen. Sensitive matters were stillhandled manually on Vulcan: computers were much more fallible andcorruptible than Vulcan clerks would ever be. He sat himself and filledthe form: it started like most forms with name, name of parents, date ofbirth, place of birth... When he came to current address, he brieflywondered if he should not write down USS Enterprise, but decidedagainst it and put in his parents address, because that would be theonly home of his, his wife would ever know. Under profession, aftergiving the matter some consideration, he wrote scientist. After all,it was the truth: he was a scientist, and the question did not ask forthe employers name or other details. Then came the more delicatequestions: whether he ever was bonded, and if not, why. There were onlytwo choices for that last question: death of selected mate or madnessof selected mate. While he distinctly remembered McCoy had said thatthe latter could apply to TPring, he doubted she would be certifiableby Vulcan standards and left both boxes unchecked. The last question onthe form almost brought a smile to his lips: Is there a person withwhom you wish to bond? Spock imagined for an instant writing down thedoctors name McCoy, if only to witness the look on his face, when agovernmental agent would assign him to come to the Ministry of Family toparticipate to a bondmate selection procedure. He left it blank andhanded the paper to the clerk, who started reading through it.

Why did you leave item 10 unanswered?

None of the options were accurate.

I fail to understand. You were assigned a bondmate after your Kahs-wan,right?

Of course.

Then, if she who was to be your bondmate neither died nor suffered frommadness, how come you are not bonded?

She invoked her right to Khalifee.

It was you? I read about it in the newspapers: I almost thought it wasan invention.

It wasnt. Now, what is the next step?

I cannot process you application like that: an answer to item 10 ismandatory. You should perhaps meet with my supervisor.

Decided not to show his discontent, Spock answered him evenly.

Where can I find him?

Room 96-458. Ill mark it on your map.

The office was not far away, but it took Spock 13 minutes to reach it.He rang and waited another 24 minutes before he was let in. He presentedhis form and explained his situation to the man. Speaking of his failedKoon-ut-Khalifee twice in the same day made Spock uncomfortable and thereaction of the clerks did not make it easier. Once again, he felt hewas viewed as a curious creature, different from other Vulcans.

I cannot help you. Form 784H53 must be completed for the procedure tobegin: no derogation is possible.

Do you suggest that I nevertheless check one of the boxes and providefalse information?

The other man was shocked at Spocks suggestion.

No, of course not. You should go to the Paperwork design section, inroom 45-697. They might be able to help you.

Spock left the room without a word. He glanced on his map and discoveredthat he would have to cross half the building to find room 45-697. As hewalked, he almost regretted he hadnt attempted to find a mate inanother way. But he knew that would only have delayed the inevitable:any official bonding ceremony has to be registered by the Ministry ofFamily, and similar forms would have been involved. His abnormalpersonal history was once again causing him trouble, and yet, he haddone nothing illogical that would warrant such a punishment. Theunfairness of the situation stirred angry feelings in him: he had topause for an instant to control them. It was getting more and moredifficult. Each day, his time was drawing nearer, slowly undermining hiscontrol. He knew that, in the past few days, he had shown McCoy more ofhimself than he had ever intended and that the Pon Farr was to blame. Ifhe were to postpone his bonding much longer, he could only imagine whatfoolish things he would tell to McCoy. He decided he would wait for fourdays and if no other option had presented itself by then, he would makeuse of his concoction: it would enrage McCoy, but Spock saw noalternative.

He counted on the fact that being a full-blooded Vulcan he would have abetter control of himself and hold a few more days, allowing him to findsomeone suitable. There also was the possibility that the transformationwould modify his Pon Farr cycle and buy him a few weeks, months, or evenyears. But he didnt want to bring up his hopes: he had promised thedoctor he wouldnt use it, so he had to do his best to succeed in hispresent task, even though his heart urged him to more heedless actions.

He finally reached the door he was looking for: there was a sign thatindicated one should enter without ringing, which he did. Inside, hefound two men playing three-dimensional chess. One of them stood up andwent towards Spock. Seeing puzzlement on Spocks face, the employee feltnecessary to explain his behaviour.

With all the forms adequately designed, there is not much work left todo. How can I help you?

It is about form 784H53. Item 10 is faulty.

He handed him the form he had completed and explained once more hissituation.

I see. I will modify it immediately.

Spock was surprised by the mans reaction: a swift decision was not whathe had expected. A bare 4 minutes later, he was presented with form784H54.

This should do it: I will send a memo to inform all services of thechange, but for now, you will have to get it approved by the servicesupervisor.

Your supervisor or the one in room 96-458?

We dont have a supervisor. I meant the one in charge of thematchmaking service.

Fine.

He went to the door and was about to close it when he added:

Thank you.

He knew it was an illogical thing to say, but it felt right: this manhad performed their duty most efficiently and had not treated him as ifhe was any different. As McCoy was absent, he felt he could freelyindulge himself without any consequences: no arguments about thesuperiority of emotions, no understanding looks, no knowing smiles...

He traced back his steps to the supervisors office, who simply put astamp on the new form, then want back to the first clerk, who wassurprised to see Spock back so soon. He filled in the new form and wasgiven an appointment with the matchmaker for the afternoon, which meanthe now had a little more than 4 hours to occupy. He decided to headhome: he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, clothes he hadalso slept in. On his way, he purchased some groceries and had themdelivered. When he arrived, he rapidly took a shower and put on his newrobe. As he was not hungry, he decided that he would attempt tomeditate, hoping that his present solitude would help him focus.

At precisely 1209 hours, McCoy left the classroom: he did not know wherehe was supposed to eat, so he followed the others. The teaching had beenintense: in the last four hours, he learned more about Vulcan culturethan in his year-long research. And the worst part was that heremembered everything. Medical school would have been much easier, hadhe been a Vulcan. Not that it had been difficult, but rather tedious: hewould have had much more time for parties if he had had Vulcan memory.But then, Vulcans, as a rule, didn't party. He was drawn out of thesenonsensical considerations by an insistent voice.

"Name?"

"Selek."

The woman searched her list.

"You may enter."

Once inside the cafeteria, he was handed a tray. He was glad thateverything was already on it, because it meant he wouldn't have tochoose among dishes that he knew nothing of. All of the students thathad been in his class had seated themselves at the same table. Allexcept one who was all by himself in a remote corner of the room. McCoythought to himself that he never could stand seeing a lonely Vulcan andsat himself next to him.

"Hi, I'm Selek. What's your name?"

"My name is Pyran. Why did you come at this table?"

"Well, I thought you might like some company."

"And why would that be?"

McCoy was moderately annoyed by the lack of comprehension.

"Never mind. Why aren't you sitting with the others?"

"My presence would be most distasteful to them, as it will soon to you."

"Why? You seem a nice enough fellow."

Pyran was looking most intently at his plate.

"Sometimes, I cannot control my emotions."

McCoy was again confronted to the same blockage than he had experiencedearlier: he wanted to comfort that man, to tell him that it wasn't thatbad and soon everything would be fine, but he simply couldn't. Wordsweren't coming. Pyran was staring at him, waiting for his reaction.

"My prediction was accurate. You should perhaps go with the others now."

Suddenly, McCoy didn't know what overtook him and started rambling.

"No, I'm. sorry, I didn't want to offend you. I have a problem just likeyours. only the reverse. You know, I always liked my emotions. I knowshouldn't say that, but I think it's OK, because I'm. half-human. Sincethis thing happened, I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm notmyself anymore: I can't help but control, all the time. I've become somecomputerized, heartless, pointed-eared monster. I don't know what to do,I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Then he stopped. He felt like crying but somehow he knew that hewouldn't: it was something he couldn't allow himself to do. The otherman took a long moment to answer.

"You are not amnesiac?"

The question came as a surprise to the doctor.

"Not entirely, I remembered parts of who I was. You don't remember athing, do you?"

"No. Sometimes I have flashes of what my wife identified as my life, butthat's all."

"You're married?"

"Yes. Aren't you?"

McCoy hesitated: he could hardly tell he was divorced.

"She died."

"I grieve with thee."

After that, they ate silently. The food was better than McCoy hadexpected. Vulcan food had always seemed very bland to him, but now someof the dishes were almost too spicy: probably yet another change in hisbody. They had both finished eating when Pyran started speaking again.

"Have you spoken about this matter with your healer?"

"The problem is I always was my own healer."

"You were a healer?"

"Yes. What was your job?"

"I was an engineer in Starfleet."

The water McCoy was drinking went through his nostrils when he heardthat.

"The Intrepid."

"Yes, it was my ship. I was on Vulcan when it happened."

"And that's why you."

"That is what the healers said."

"How could you feel them over such a distance?"

"I do not know. I don't remember. My wife told me I suddenly grabbed myhead and cried out, before I fell unconscious. I suppose I was affectedby their death because we had often melded and our minds had grownaccustomed. I am only glad that it did not reach my wife."

"I had no idea telepathy could be that dangerous."

Pyran did not speak further. McCoy could see that he was fighting hisemotions, but that he had little success. He buried his face in hishands, trying to hide it from the others. As before, McCoy wasparalyzed: he wanted to find comforting words, but could not. Then,suddenly, he had an idea.

"I'm going to meld with you. Is that OK?"

He did not receive an answer, but decided to proceed. He put his fingerson the other man's hands and located the contact points. Pyran hadobviously agreed to the meld as McCoy found he had lowered his shields.His assumption proved correct: in the meld, he was free again. He wasable to help the man, to cajole him into a less troubled state of mind.He had used his human empathy with success and was about to retreat whenhe was confronted with the other man's pain itself. He hesitated thendecided to resort to Vulcan control to reduce it. He considered makingit disappear, but it seemed a cruel thing to do. Although it was thefirst time he was attempting this, there was an instinct in him thatguided him: it was as if he knew how this had to be done. Suddenlyfeeling very bold, he went on deeper in Pyran's mind. Taking example onwhat he had felt in Spock's mind he started to separate the thoughts andthe emotions that were meddled with them. He was classifying them whenhe found one of them would refuse classification, as if it had a will ofhis own. He asked Pyran what it was and was answered it was his bond tohis wife. He let it undisturbed and finished his task, before he brokethe meld.

Pyran was still a little shaken, but one could see he was feelingbetter.

"You performed most efficiently. You skills as a healer must have beenimmense."

McCoy was pleased by his success and allowed himself to smile.

"Thank you. I'm glad to see that I have not lost everything."

An elderly woman came to them.

"I saw you meld. It is not appropriate to do so in public. I will haveto report your conduct to my superior. Please come with me."

They followed her in silence.

"Wait here."

They stood in front of a closed door.

"What'll happen?"

"I do not know."

The door opened.

"I guess we're about to find out."

They entered the room and found a younger woman sitting behind the desk.

"Why did you engage a meld in a public setting?"

As Pyran did not answer, McCoy decided to improvise.

"He had a headache and I tried to help him. I didn't know it was notallowed."

The woman was looking at him in horror.

"It is even worse than I thought. It is illegal to practice medicinewithout being a healer: what you did is very dangerous, and you deservea punishment. But as this offence was caused by your condition, it wouldbe illogical to deprive you from the teachings that could prevent youfrom committing further offences."

"You're saying we're free to go?"

She frowned, thinking that these students had unusual behaviours, eventaking in account their memory loss.

"Yes, you may return to class."

The elderly woman came in the room and brought them to their classroom:it was still empty, as the class would only begin in a half hour. Theysat down next to each other.

"Why did you lie?"

"You wanted me to tell the truth?"

"Why not?"

"It was the logical thing to do."

McCoy had a smile from ear to ear: to think that he would seriously usethis phrase in an argument...

"There was no need for us to tell her what happened, and besides, itwasn't a lie, just an omission: you had a headache."

Pyran slowly shook his head.

"You behave strangely, for a Vulcan. Your human side must be veryimportant to you."

"Yes it is, and that's why I'm not entirely comfortable with thiscontrol thing."

Pyran stared at McCoy in horror.

"You are not thinking about renouncing to all emotional control, areyou? You heard what the teacher told us: you would be an outcast."

"No, of course not. It's just that sometimes I wish it could be lesspresent, like it was before."

Pyran frowned and was silent for a moment.

"Have you considered that your memories of the time before could beflawed?"

It was McCoy's turn to frown.

"Flawed?"

"Perhaps your control level has not changed, only your perception ofit."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. He was surprised that what the other man wastelling actually made some sense, despite the fact that he knew nothingof his real situation. He decided to ponder that suggestion later, whenhe would be alone.

"Perhaps, I don't know. I'll meditate on it."

Neither spoke again until the other students came back to class, closelyfollowed by their teacher: soon the class started again.

Meanwhile, Spock was back in the long corridor of ministry of Family. Hewas waiting for the matchmaker's door to open and the process toactually start. The fact that he knew nothing of what was about tohappen, only contributed to increase both his anxiety and impatience.Suddenly the door opened and he was ushered in by the clerk he metearlier. An older lady was sitting behind the desk. She was reading whatSpock recognised as the form he had filled in.

"Come."

Spock obeyed and as he sat down heard the door open and close. They werealone.

While the matchmaker still was reading, Spock couldn't help but wonderwhy it was taking her so long: there wasn't that much text on the form.That her sight might be diminishing was the only logical explanation hemanaged to find. Then, she put down the sheet and stared into Spock'eyes. Instinctively, he lowered his gaze: she was his elder and to dootherwise would be improper.

"Give me your thoughts."

Spock leaned closer and she placed her hands on his face. She engaged ameld, a very deep meld. He tried to resist, to shield some of histhoughts, but couldn't: her mind was so much stronger than his. She wentthrough all of him, scanning his memories. Some of his feelings weregiven a closer examination: his affection for his mother, his respectfor his father, his friendship for Jim, his despise for T'Pring andfinally his love for McCoy. When the matchmaker had felt thisattachment, she had visited all of Spock's memories that were related tothe doctor. He felt naked and ashamed of what she could sense in him.When she was done, she broke the meld.

"You should not have resisted: I may have damaged some of your shields."

"I apologize. I was not prepared."

He still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Why did you not ask McCoy?"

"He would have refused."

"It is illogical to conclude without evidence. You should ask him."

"I do not wish to. I would prefer another mate."

"Very well. I give you 28 hours, so you might ask him. If you come backafterwards, I shall find you someone else."

"The matter is well considered. A day will not change anything."

"Perhaps you should consider this to be the punishment you were lookingfor, last night."

Ashamed that she had perceived even that foolish idea of his, Spock didnot answer.

"Leave now."

He stood up and left. Once the door was closed, she allowed herself afaint smile: her little tricks had worked. He had been impressed andthere was a 93.6% probability he would tell the other. From hismemories, it had been obvious to her that the affection wasreciprocated, but she still failed to understand how one who lived solong among humans, could be so blind. She was pleased with herself: withthe certainty that this was the 34,986sth couple that had been formedwith her help, only 15 were left until she would hold the planetaryrecord. Once that milestone reached, she would face the prospect ofretirement more serenely.

As Spock walked through the corridor as if in autopilot, he wasstrangely grateful for the quaint design of the building: at least hehad not to worry about finding his way out of here. His shields had beenslightly damaged by her forcefulness but Spock thought that a deepmeditation would restore them. He could still feel the echoes of thewoman's mind in his own, could feel her thoughts touching the mostprivate parts of his being: these sensations caused him to shiver. Whathad happened was worse than any scenario he had imagined: not only washe no closer to finding a mate, but he was faced with a mostuncomfortable decision. Although the prospect of facing that woman againmade the idea of speaking with McCoy seem much more appealing thanbefore, he still wasn't convinced that he should do so. The odds werehigh that he would be rejected, and then would have to face her again.Imagining the pain, he remembered what the matchmaker had said. Shemight be right: he should see that as a punishment. With that in mind,he simply decided he would talk with McCoy later that evening. He wasamazed at how swiftly he had caught that decision, just as if he hadchosen what he would have for lunch, perhaps even easier than that. Hischoice made, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders:now he only had to perform his duty and follow his self-imposed ordersto their bitter end. This he knew he could do. Even though he stilldreaded the outcome of the confrontation, the matter was somehow out ofhis hands.

At present, all he had to deal with was a headache that was gettingworse by the minute. He hurried home and went directly to his room tomeditate. But the pain was nothing if not persistent. Spock thought thathe soon would have done all that was in his power; that he would have tocall a healer, if it did not improve. All of a sudden, he remembered hispromise to McCoy, about calling a healer to repair what the other haddone. He went to his console and checked his mother's address book. Thenew family healer didn't live very far: he would go and see him withoutfurther delay. The house was quickly reached. He rang to signal hispresence and was greeted by a younger man.

"Live long and prosper."

"Peace and long life to you."

"What is your business here?"

"I wish to consult healer Sutok."

"I am Sutok. And who are you?"

"I am Spock."

"It is good we meet at last. Follow me."

Spock was brought into a room with two large sofas. Sutok sat in one andgestured Spock to take the other. They both remained silent for amoment. The healer waited for Spock to speak, as was the custom: it wasnot a healer's role to request information from his patient, becausethis would inevitably lead to the violation of the patient's privacy.

"An ill-prepared meld left some after-effects. I am prepared to accept ahealing meld."

"It is the most appropriate remedy. Very well, I shall proceed then."

Sutok sat himself next to Spock and engaged the meld. Even with hisdamaged shields, Spock was able to hide most of his thoughts from theother. The repairs were swiftly made, leaving only the memory of thesearing pain.

"Your work was acceptable."

"It was my opinion as well."

"Your skills are needed for another patient."

And then, Spock told Sutok an edited version of what had happened toMcCoy. He accepted to see the doctor, which in itself was on the edge oflegality: he was sworn to serve only member Spock's family andoccasionally outworlders, except in the case of an emergency, of course.McCoy's case fulfilled neither of these conditions, but the strangenessof the situation had had him agree.

Sutok scheduled an appointment for the next day because he had to dosome research before on the most recent mental techniques used to easelarge-scale mental wounds. That the wound was not too old was a goodpoint, but the genetic alterations may have had a deleterious effect onit.

Spock bade his farewells and walked home. He was glad that at least oneof his problems was solved. Even if he could not cure yet what he haddone to Leonard, he had at least found a way to rid him of the pain theother had inflicted. The other... in his mind, he only called him that.He was like a brother to him, perhaps even more. Despite all the morallydisputable things the other most certainly did, Spock could not find itin himself to blame him for them: how could one blame someone for actinglogically? It was the logic of the mirror world that was intrinsicallyflawed, not the other. He was just following the rules, no matter howtwisted those might be. Kirk had expected him to change, but Spockthought it was like hoping that in non-Euclidian mathematics, theEuclidian axioms would be respected. A very human attitude.

The first time Kirk and McCoy had told him about the beard, he hadalmost laughed: years ago, the matter of his facial hair had been whathad started the fight with his father that had resulted in his entrancein Starfleet Academy. At the end of the fight, he had sworn he wouldshave as *true* Vulcans do. The next day, he had sent out hisapplication. His father *had* been pissed off. He had even spoken withseveral members of the committee so they would reject his application.He had failed only because there was some Boolean who always dislikedSarek and used this opportunity to revenge himself. So Spock wasaccepted and Sarek never spoke to him again until his visit to theEnterprise, three months ago.

Spock arrived home and went to his console to check his mail and messageSegor to inquire about his exact plans for tonight's dinner.

McCoy's afternoon was much like his morning: very busy but interesting.At least now, during the breaks he had someone to talk to. When it wastime to go home, Pyran went in one direction and McCoy went to theother, somewhat displeased to have to walk home alone. His behaviourthis morning had been stupid to say the least, and he now would havebeen glad if Spock had taken him home. He wasn't even sure of the way,but calling Spock would mean showing him more of his weakness than hewas willing to. As he walked, he thought about what Pyran had said: hehad always wanted to be in total control of himself but it wasimpossible before he had a Vulcan mind. This meant that it was not hisnew gained Vulcan-ness that was to blame for his difficulties, but hisown needs for order and privacy. And now he had let those needs takecontrol of everything he was, including the goods parts. He had tocontrol them or he would end up being a green-blooded, unfeeling,pointed-eared Vulcan. What an irony!

He started thinking about what he could do to prevent that fromhappening, when he heard an unfamiliar beeping sound coming from hispocket. It took him some time to realize what it was and to take out thecommunicator.

"Is that you Spock?"

"Yes, Leonard it is me. Please stay where you are. I am trying tolocate you. There, I have your position. I will pick you up in exactly28 seconds. Please wait."

The communication was interrupted before McCoy had time to answer, buthe did as he was told and waited. Sapok's hovercraft appeared soonafter, Spock at its wheel.

"Well, I'll be damned."

McCoy jumped in the passenger's seat and Spock resumed his course.

"Segor messaged me that there might be a possibility to return you toyour previous state."

"How come? He sounded pretty affirmative yesterday, when he said itcouldn't be done."

"In fact, it all depends on how well the enzymatic complex performed itstask. I already transmitted him my research data, but he needs toperform some tests on you."

"If I understand you correctly, you're telling me is that if you did asloppy job with your engineering, he'll be able to turn me back, right?"

"Yes."

The doctor was silent for a few seconds, pondering this new information.

"Spock, I never thought I'd say that to you, but you're the mostintelligent and efficient scientist I know. There is no way you couldhave made a large enough mistake for Segor to exploit."

"You forget I am no specialist. Segor already spotted six such mistakes.Your presence is needed to check which of those are usable."

McCoy did not know what to say anymore and Spock was not keen oncarrying further conversation without knowing more about the actualpossibilities of mutation reversal. He hoped for the doctor and forhimself that he would go back as before. This would make any punishmentuseless, and his secret would be safe.

Segor was in his lab, his equipment ready to analyze the precisestructure of McCoy's genome. When the two other men arrived, the testswere conducted swiftly, with only a few words exchanged. The tension wastangible as they waited a few seconds for the results.

"Number 4 and 5 are good, the other I can't use."

There was a large smile on Segor's face as he had said the words.

"What does it mean?"

"You can be turned fully human again, but there are risks. To determineexactly how much, I need to run some computer simulations. Spock, Icould need your help with these."

They were about to leave the room when McCoy interrupted them.

"What kind of risks?"

"First, you won't look like you did before. In addition, there arechances that some organs might become dysfunctional, meaning thatsurgery might be necessary. And there is always the possibility ofdeath."

"Yes. You better start the simulations, then."

When they had left for the computer room, the doctor sat down, staringinto the emptiness. What was the point of being human if he would not behimself anymore? If his body would be changed, his brain would too. Andwhile he felt that still was himself, a few details excepted, he was notsure that would still be the case after Segor's intervention. But on theother hand, was not being human a more crucial part of his identity thananything else? At the moment, he hated himself for his weakness; he knewwhat was the right thing to do, from a logical and medical point ofview: he should stay as he currently was, because he was in perfecthealth and taking the risk to be mutilated was just foolish. But he justcouldn't stop thinking about it. He so much wanted everything to be justlike before. And knowing that this was impossible didn't help at all.Even so, he couldn't find it in himself to blame Spock: it was his ownactions that had leaded him to this situation. Spock was notresponsible, despite the guilt he was sure he now experienced. It wasthe feeling that he needed to be strong for Spock that finally decidedhim: he would stay as he was, proving to Spock that it wasn't such a badthing after all. McCoy stood up and joined the men in the other room.

"I'm starting to get hungry. Let's go and grab something to eat."

Both Vulcan looked up surprised by what they had just heard.

"We thought you would want the research done as fast as possible."

"Yes and we won't be long. I estimate it will take Spock and me anadditional hour to produce the results."

"You know. you don't have to. I decided I'd rather stay just like I am."

They all were silent for a moment. Spock stared in the doctor's eyes.

"Are you sure, Leonard?"

"Yes, Spock, I'm sure." He smiled the best he could to convince them ofhis sincerity.

"In fact, I like being a Vulcan. did you really think I would let youbob off my ears, just like that?"

He emphasized his words by briefly moving his hands over his ears in aprotective gesture.

Spock was still examining McCoy's features for any sign of deception ormadness, when Segor started to talk.

"There is no hurry, you know: you will be able to undergo the procedurewhenever you want. But you must understand that the more you delay, themore risky it will become."

"Thank you for your efforts, Segor. Can we go now?"

"Yes, of course. Spock, I understood you had a hovercraft. I will leavemine here and the three of us could ride in yours. Is that agreeablewith you?"

Lost in his thoughts, Spock took a few seconds to realize he was spokento.

"Yes. Let us go."

They put away the more sensitive data and locked the lab. Once in thevehicle, Segor guided Spock to his home. McCoy sat in the back seat andwatched the town. As they drove through parts of ShiKahr he had notvisited yet, he was amazed by the variety of architecture. It seemedeach district had nothing in common with the previous one and this madethe short trip an exotic one. In the front, Spock and Segor chattedabout the recent development of the city, a discussion that was as closeto small talk as two Vulcans could get.

They rapidly arrived at their destination, and as soon as the car wasparked, the two Starfleet officers followed Segor into the kitchen.There he took some vegetables out of his conservation unit and someequipment out of a closet.

"As you can see, I prefer the traditional way of cooking. It will takesome time until dinner is ready. You should make yourself comfortable.The living room is over there."

"Nonsense, how can I help you?"

"You could help me chop the vegetables."

McCoy grabbed a knife and started busying himself with some sort ofmelon.

"And what should I do?"

"Well, you could grab a knife too."

As discreetly as possible, McCoy shook his head to signify Segor thatthis was a bad idea.

"No, it would be better if you would dress the table. Everything is overthere."

"Fine."

When Spock had left with the plates and glasses, McCoy startedwhispering near Segor's ear.

"You should see him cut vegetable. It's a massacre."

"Well, I'm glad you saved us."

They went on chopping for a while. Meanwhile, Spock came back and leftagain with the forks and knives.

McCoy pondered for an instant, trying to formulate his next question thebest way he could.

"So, what do you plan to do the next time?"

The question embarrassed Segor, for the grin disappeared from his face.

"I don't know yet."

"If Spock's theory is right, there isn't much choice."

Segor frowned, visibly annoyed.

"This is none of your business."

"I'm sorry, I was just chatting. It's a human thing. you wouldn'tunderstand."

Seeing that his weak attempt at humour failed, he decided to tryhonesty.

"I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you. I just tried to find out if youhad plans, because I have a friend who is currently in a similarsituation, if you see what I mean."

Segor slowly shook his head.

"A two year old would understand what you mean. Unfortunately, I don'tthink your *friend* would be interested in what you are suggesting."

To McCoy this meant that Segor himself was not adverse to the idea. Itbroke his heart but he had to know if there was any chance for Spock'splight to end swiftly. He was about to ask for a confirmation of theinnuendo when Spock entered again.

"The table is ready. What is the status of the cooking?"

"We finished the slicing and dicing part, now there the grilling left: Iwould say we should be ready in about ten minutes."

"Fine. I should perhaps get the water."

"No, I'll do it. You keep an eye on the meal."

Segor disappeared into the cellar.

"Your behaviour back in the lab was peculiar to say the least. Are yousure you are fine, Leonard?"

"For the third time, YES, I'm fine. Perhaps *you* should have gone tothe amnesiac classes, if you can't even remember a simple thing likethat."

"I didn't ask you if you were fine before. You seem to have developedsome memory problems yourself. Perhaps it's a consequence of your newlove for all things Vulcan."

"You unfeeling, green-blooded, pointed-eared bastard!"

"If I were you, I wouldn't say such things, considering you now are anunfeeling, green-blooded, pointed-eared bastard yourself."

Segor's words silenced them both for a moment.

"Listen, Segor, I have not been a perfect guest up to now, and I wouldperfectly understand if you wanted me to leave. You just have to say theword and--"

"Why do you say such things? Everything went fine. You and Spock startedfighting like schoolgirls, so what? No big deal."

Segor turned toward the oven, to check on the cooking dish. Spock andMcCoy silently waited for his verdict, both hoping that their meal wouldnot be delayed much longer.

"Doctor, could you open the wine?"

"Now that's the kind of Vulcan I like."

"May I remind you doctor, that I consider myself to be human more thanVulcan."

"I'm sorry: I forgot. It must be because of the pointed-ears."

Segor smiled as he answered:

"What is it with you and pointed-ears? You keep bringing them up everytwo sentences."

McCoy's face turned all green and did not dare to answer. This allowedSpock to jump into the conversation.

"If you are more human than Vulcan, why do you follow the Vulcan way,then?"

"I simply chose the best of both worlds."

To cut short to this discussion, he went on:

"Let's eat."

A few instant later there were seated in the dining room enjoying insilence the vegetable casserole that they had prepared.

McCoy, who had always been a fast eater, finished his plate first. Whilehe watched the others eat, he focused his thoughts on designing astrategy for the evening: as what he wanted for Spock - and himself -was not possible, he would make sure that the man would find some kindof happiness in another man's arms. Segor was a nice, intelligent, andhuman enough person: he would be perfect in that part. All McCoy had todo, was to make Spock realize just that. He had, however, no idea on howto achieve this purpose, so he decided to simply start the conversationon a fairly neutral topic and see where it went from there on.

"So, how did you two meet?"

As Spock was currently chewing on a more resistant - or less cooked -vegetable, Segor answered.

"Spock just came one day to the VSA. After a class, he introducedhimself and asked me out of nothing if I preferred male or femalecompanionship."

"Spock, *you* did that?"

"Vulcans are not in the habit of lying: I did exactly what hedescribed."

"What happened next?"

"Well, I answered and he left. But I wasn't happy with that: I mean, Iwas young, I had never met another half-Vulcan and my homosexualitystill was an issue for me - I thought I was the only one on Vulcan - soI searched for him and finally found him on Earth with his father."

"What did you do?"

"I confronted him and he admitted he was in the same situation as me. Healso explained his theory."

"How did you come up with that idea anyway?"

Spock seemed a little embarrassed. Nevertheless, he cleared his throatand started talking.

"A friend of my father also had a half-human son. Ours fathers wouldoften meet to discuss various diplomatic issues, so, for some time, wesaw each other frequently. One day, we started touching each other.intimately. None of the other young Vulcan I had known were interestedin such things: all they would do was brag about how wonderful the girlthey were to be bonded to was. So I concluded that our both beinghalf-Vulcan had something to do with what happened and started searchingfor other half-Vulcans."

"That's... poppycock! Did you really think others would just tell youthat they had sucked this one's dick or been given a hand job that thatother boy? This kind of things is kept secret: that means you must havebeen there to know about it. It may just have been a coincidence thatthe other boy in your case was a hybrid."

"I agree that my first deduction my have been faulty, but the data Icollected afterwards proved me right. I don't know why or how this ispossible, but the fact remains: being half-Vulcan implies experiencingsame-sex desires."

The three men stayed in silence for a few minutes, each busy with hisown thoughts.

"I was thinking about it last night and if it's OK with you, I wouldlike to do some research on the genetic basis of your theory."

"Aren't you afraid that this might be used for eugenic purposes?"

"No. Such things do not exist on Vulcan."

"You are wrong, Segor. The doctor has a point: same-sex bonding isperfectly accepted nowadays, but because there is nothing that can bedone about it. You know how our people loathe using procreativetechniques when not absolutely necessary: the engineering required forour birth has always been subject to many controversies. And if inaddition, we could only form bonds which require the use of suchtechniques if they are to be fruitful, the government could go as far asbanning human/Vulcan unions to prevent excessive manipulation of theVulcan genome, which we all agree, can be a dangerous thing. Moreover,there have always been many traditional groups for which our existenceitself is an aberration: they would be delighted to learn that we cannotbe normal Vulcans."

"Spock, I do not consider myself to be abnormal."

"But in the strictest sense you are: of the 2 billion inhabitants ofVulcan, 14 are homosexuals. This means that 99.9999993 percent of thepopulation is not: we are therefore not part of the norm."

"Fine, I am abnormal. But this does not mean that the research could nothave beneficial repercussions: it would prove that this desire is aresult of genetics, not a fault in our upbringing or an illness. Adifference such as this could then be assimilated to the differencebetween dark and fair haired Vulcans, for instance: at first sight,different, but ultimately the same."

"Perhaps, but the danger is great."

"Spock, you should also bear in mind that what has been discovered canbe discovered again: it would be better that someone like Segor findswhat there is to find than one of those traditional Vulcans. They woulduse it as a weapon against you, whereas Segor would simply expose thefacts: he has as much to loose in it as he has to win."

"All your arguments are valid, but I cannot agree with you. Suchknowledge would be an invasion of our privacy: assuming my theorybecomes known, anyone would know what is not theirs to know. Matters ofbonding and desire are a very private subject on Vulcan: we do not talkof such things. In fact, our whole discussion has only taken placebecause we all are humans to some degree: Vulcans would not have spokenat all of it."

"Spock, I think you have a false image of Vulcans: since I'm on thisplanet, I've seen more emotions coming from full-blooded Vulcans thanfrom you. You would perhaps consider them also as abnormal persons, butI think you simply set far too high standards of what a true Vulcan is.I can assure you this: not a single one of them is perfect, not a singleone controls his emotions all the time. I'm sure other Vulcans hadsimilar conversations before us, and others will have after. What makesyou think you're so different?"

Seeing Spock preparing himself to answer, McCoy went on.

"No, don't answer. It was a rhetorical question. I know that you aresomewhat different from the majority of Vulcans. But like it or not, youare more the same than you think. That's not even the point here: ifSegor wishes to continue this kind of research, who gives you the rightto prevent him from doing so?"

"I never said I did not want Segor to pursue this research: I merelypointed out the hazardous path he was considering. Not only for himself,but for all of us. Ultimately, it will be his choice. I only hope hewill not take his decision lightly."

"Amen to that."

Segor, who had been silent for some time, surprised by the intensity ofthe conversation, finally dared to speak again.

"You are right. I'll have to give it some more thought. I believehowever that I will do the research anyway: I want to know, for myself.Whether I will publish it or not, is another matter. "

This put an end to the heated discussion they were having. McCoywondered how an innocent question had led them to such a debate, whenall he had wanted was for Spock and Segor to get to know each otherbetter. He decided to adopt another strategy. After a minute or so ofsilence, he spoke:

"What happens next?"

As the two other did not understand his question, he re-formulated it.

"What do we do now? I mean, we're young, in a beautiful city: there hasto be something interesting to do."

"Well, there is this exhibition of pre-Reform paintings from thenorthern Provinces at the Art Museum."

"That was not exactly what I meant. Don't you know someplace more fun?"

"Leonard, pre-Reform paintings can be quite enjoyable."

McCoy sighed as he answered:

"Yes, Spock."

Segor was obviously giving the problem some thought.

"What about a gay bar?"

The doctor was glad that Segor had finally come up with what he hopedfor: his main problem now was not to scare off Spock.

"There are gay bars on Vulcan?"

"Of course, for outworlders. Interesting places, lots of people, lots ofsex going on. The only problem, is, as I don't everyone to notice me, Ihave to wear a hat."

McCoy laughed out loud.

"That must be quite a sight. You, in a bar where everyone is half naked,wearing a hat."

"I can be half naked *and* wear a hat."

More laughs on Segor's and McCoy's part. Only Spock seemed as unmoved asever.

"Do you manage to pass for a human?"

"Yes, that is until they see me naked."

Again, Spock did not seem to want to be included in the jovial banter:this posed a problem to the doctor, because it went against his plans.

"Spock, what do you think? I bet you've never even be in a gay bar."

"You are mistaken; I visited exactly 124 gay bars on 35 differentplanets. I could probably write a book on them."

McCoy's mouth was open and moved as if he was trying to articulatesomething but nothing came out. So, Spock went on:

"I have however, never visited one on Vulcan. Your plans are thereforeperfectly agreeable with me."

"OK. Let's get dressed. Follow me."

They went to Segor's room where each was given a shirt and pants as wellas a hat.

"I doubt it will fit you very well, doctor, but I have nothing else."

"It'll be fine."

Segor simply took off his blue robe and started putting on his pants.McCoy and Spock did the same. The doctor was somewhat embarrassed to bethere, in his underwear. He paused to look at Spock and realized thatall he wanted was to rip off the jockstrap and give him the best blowjobhe ever had, then, turn him over and fuck him until he would pass out.

It was the latest revelations about Spock that had triggered this needto claim the body of the man he wanted. He now knew others had touchedSpock the way he wanted to, but he couldn't, and that enraged him. He,however, rapidly calmed himself thinking that, for the Spock's good, hewould have to let him to yet another man.

But twenty minutes later, in the bar, these feelings were back. He couldhave controlled them, but did not want to: he was human after all. Hewished he could get lost in the sweaty crowd, touching and beingtouched. He wanted to find the tallest Andorian and verify if what theysay about the length of their cocks and their antennae is true. Hethought about kneeling down, sucking cocks until his lips would be soswollen, and his throat so sore that he would not be able to go on. Atthe same time, he knew he would not do anything like that, not tonight:Spock was here and the image he had of McCoy still mattered to him.Therefore, he did what he always did in these cases: as soon as hemanaged to get out of the others' sight, he headed for the bar.

"Barkeep, give me something that would make a Vulcan sick."

"That's easy! Anything with alcohol will do that."

"Well, then I'll have a mint julep."

"Always liked that stuff. It reminds me of Vulcan blood."

McCoy couldn't help a cynical smirk as he muttered to himself:

"Well maybe that explains why I like Vulcans so much: they remind me ofmint juleps."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. How much for the drink?"

"10 creds."

"Here's my chip."

He tasted his drink and grinned.

"You're good at this. You can prepare two more of those."

Meanwhile, Spock and Segor were fighting their way through the crowd: itwas a busy night. It reminded Spock of the conferences he used to attendwith his father, except, of course, for the general state of undress:every planet in the Federation seemed to have sent one or two delegatesthat were discussing with each without apparent order. This was asurprise for Spock who had only been in bars frequented mostly byhumans: the image of a Tellurite sucking on the antennae of an Andorianwould forever remain engraved in his mind.

"I see McCoy left us. I guess muscles and sweat are not his cup of tea."

"No, I suppose they are not."

Spock was somewhat disappointed: he had read in the doctor's almosteagerness to come to this bar as a proof of his acceptance of homosexualbehaviours. He even considered the possibility that he might bebisexual. Such things would have made his task much easier. But heobviously had been mistaken.

Segor was now leading the way, guiding Spock to the back of the bar,where there was a small dance floor: it was packed with people. Itlooked like a throbbing mass of multicolour flesh. Segor took off hisshirt.

"Care to dance?"

"One can hardly call rubbing oneself against sweaty bodies dancing."

He nevertheless took off his shirt and entered the crowd. It was not anunpleasant sensation, but he was glad that his shields were holding. Hewanted to forget himself in that sensation and almost managed, when hesaw a Klingon. He was mildly surprised, but did not really care. Theonly problem was that the skin on his back had some ridges whose contactwas mildly painful. As he tried to stir away from him, he found himselfpressed against Segor. For an instant, he considered pulling away. Butthe feeling of this warm skin against him made him come closer. It was anice sensation. It reminded him of Rutir, of their shy experiences, ofthe pleasure they had brought. As if possessed, he started caressing theother man's chest, his back, his arms, all that was within his grasp.The other was mimicking the gestures. Soon, they were hugging, slowlydancing to an inexistent tune. Then, they kissed. It was rapidly over,not because they did not enjoy it, but because the crowd started tomove. They all went to the front of the bar, where a voice was shoutingin Vulcan.

"No, you blue-blooded moron, you pour me another one of those, or I'llhit you where it hurts and believe me I know where that is."

Spock and Segor were hurrying towards the source of the voice, hopingthat they had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

The music had been turned down and they could hear the people speakingof a Vulcan near the bar that had lost his mind. What they saw was evenworse than that: McCoy was holding the Boolean bartender by his collarand waving a fist near his head. Somehow, in his agitation, he had losthis hat, revealing two pointed ears to the amazed crowd.

Spock acted swiftly: he run to McCoy's side and neck pinched him. As hefell down, Segor and him lifted the doctor and carried him to thehovercraft.

During their ride to Segor's house, not a word was spoken. Segor put hishand on Spock's thigh, and Spock let him. As they arrived to theirdestination, he parked and Segor started caressing him more intently,his hand going higher and higher on his thigh. Spock was enjoying it andhe drew Segor nearer until their bare chests touched. He needed thecontact so much: it was a by-product of his coming Pon Farr. As was hisvery hard cock that begged for a rapid release.

Four hands began working on the pants fastenings and then Segor simplytook the freed cock in his mouth. A few seconds later, Spock had alreadycome. They both sat there, panting for a moment, until Spock decided hewanted to reciprocate. He put his hand on the other man's belt, but wasstopped.

"I came in my pants. It's been ages since I've last done that."

"My time is near: it must have influenced you."

"Possible."

Segor observed Spock: the naked chest, the open pants, the soft cockstill exposed, the purple semen on the beige pants. Then he looked athimself and saw his own semen pouring through the fabric. And he lostit: he laughed. It was one of those loud and contagious laughs, one towhich even Spock was not immune. When Segor saw him smile and evenchuckle, he couldn't resist kissing Spock.

Segor decided to leave before the situation became awkward. He steppedout of the vehicle and Spock did the same once his pants fastened. Theywalked to the door.

"I will bring you back the clothes once they are cleaned."

"OK, I shall see you then. Live long and prosper, Spock."

"Peace and long life."

"One more thing: if anything should go wrong, you know where to findme."

"I do indeed have your address. And the address of your lab."

"Seriously..."

"I won't forget."

Spock went back to the car, where he discovered with horror that McCoyhad awakened and seated himself in the front.

"I wondered where you went."

"I bade my farewells to Segor."

"What did you do with your shirt and why is there raspberry sauce onyour pants?"

"I... spilled a drink."

"You certainly made a big mess. Perhaps you should have sticked toAltair water tonight."

"As should you."

"I had very little to drink."

"My mistake: I had been under the impression that your behaviour hadbeen influenced by a large intake of alcohol. I was not aware you hadbeen hired by the bartender to provide some entertainment to theguests."

"He wouldn't serve me another glass!"

"He probably judged you had had enough."

"Obviously not, because I'm sober again. Bloody Vulcan metabolism."

"Vulcans do eliminate toxic elements far faster than humans. As you wereunconscious, this rate was increased."

McCoy rubbed his neck.

"You really shouldn't make a habit of it."

"I won't... if you behave properly."

Spock turned on the craft and headed home. After what had happened withSegor, he was uncomfortable, sitting next to McCoy half-naked, with hissemen all over him.

"We should perhaps put on our robes: I must park Sapok's hovercraft inhis garage and there is no need for him to see me like this."

"As you wish."

They pulled over and got out of the car to slip into their robes. Oncedone, they resumed their journey. Spock considered for an instantapproaching Leonard now with his feelings. But he deemed the situationinappropriate: the doctor had just awakened from a nerve pinch and hadbeen drinking earlier, and he himself was still enjoying the afterglowof the best blowjob he had received in some time. He was feeling muchmore confident: even if it didn't work out with McCoy, there was Segorwho liked him very much and whom he liked. Of course, he was not in lovewith him, but perhaps after McCoy's refusal, he would learn to love him.That the doctor would not be interested made no doubt to him. But he haddecided to tell him, and would do so. Another reason for his jovialitywas that the probability of having to face that matchmaker again hadbeen reduced from 0.982 to 0.047, a much more acceptable level.

As for the doctor, unaware that his plans had been successful, he wasexperiencing feelings of shame and guilt: shame because he had made suchof fool of himself, and guilt because he had failed to convince Spockthat Segor was an acceptable mate.

"I arranged a meeting with my family's healer. He shall see youtomorrow."

"Spock, I'm not sure I want him to mess with my mind."

"He will not *mess* with your mind: he will simply repair whateverdamage my counterpart has done. Leave it untreated could lead to seriousproblems later on."

"Don't you think I know it? I'm a doctor--"

"Then, what is your professional opinion?"

McCoy didn't care to answer. He decided he would go to see this healer,if only to stop Spock from worrying about his mental health.

His mind returned to the events of the evening. He couldn't stop himselffrom thinking about what Spock had admitted: his experience with thatboy and his knowledge of the gay milieu. To think that a few daysbefore, he was convinced that Spock was something of a blushing virgin,and now, it turned out he was more experienced than he was himself.Perhaps he should speak with Spock after all and tell him what he reallyfelt. At least now, he knew that he would not be as shocked as he hadthought. But to take such a risk still seemed to dangerous at themoment: McCoy would only take it if there was not other choice, that isif Spock did not wish to bond with Segor. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"What happened to the boy?"

It took Spock a moment to understand what McCoy meant.

"His name is Rutir. I haven't seen him since his father stopped visitingmine, but I heard his Koon-ut-Khalifee went well."

"Oh."

This eliminated another potential mate in McCoy's mental list: more andmore he convinced himself that it had to be Segor. For Spock's welfare,but also for his own sake.

Soon they were in front of Spock's house. As they slowed down, theydistinguished a figure coming out of the darkness. It was lurking nearthe front entrance of the house.

"No burglars? And what's that?"

Spock stopped and stepped out of the craft. He walked discreetly towardsthe figure, ready to perform a nerve pinch. When he was near enough, hefinally saw the face of the burglar.

"Father? I assumed you and mother were still on Betazed 2."

"We left the conference earlier. There was nothing of interest beingdiscussed."

McCoy joined them. Sarek examined him from head to toes.

"Mr Ambassador, it is a pleasure to see you again. As you can see, therehave been some changes since the last time we met."

"Yes. What happened?"

"I think that's a subject for which the privacy of your home would bemore suited."

"Very well."

Sarek went inside the house.

"You should better park the car. I'll tell him what happened."

"Fine."

Spock was glad he did not have to witness to McCoy's lie: it would havemade his situation with his father much more difficult. This way, hestill could say the deception was carried out by the doctor alone. Suchan explanation would be plausible because all that his father knew aboutMcCoy was that he had tricked T'Pau during the Khalifee and had trickedSpock into giving the blood for the heart surgery.

He went down to the garage and parked the car. He did not hurry: itwould do no good if he came in during McCoy's explanation.

When he entered the house, he heard McCoy, describing in Vulcan, whatSegor had explained them. He went to the living room and sat next to himon the sofa.

"I was just telling your parents that I will remain like this until amore satisfactory solution is found."

"It is unfortunate that my actions caused such long-lastingconsequences."

Both men were relieved: Amanda had believed what McCoy had told them,meaning that Sarek had probably also been convinced. But there was noway of being sure: Spock's father had remained silent during the entireconversation.

Sarek stood up, immediately followed by Amanda.

"My wife and I have had a long day. We shall retire to our bedroom."

It was McCoy and Spock's turn to stand.

"Good night, ambassador Sarek, Lady Amanda."

"Good night, mother."

The couple left the living room.

"I see you're still fighting with your father."

"We are not fighting. Simply not speaking."

"What brought this on? On the Enterprise, things seemed to be goingbetter."

"Last month, he wanted me to marry a desert princess and I refused."

McCoy couldn't help laughing.

"A desert princess?"

"Yes. Her family holds half the northern hemisphere. I would haveinherited that land."

"And I who thought your family was an important one."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Well, T'Pau's presence at you wedding, for instance. And Sarek is notan unimportant man."

"I see. Our family is important only because it was Surak's family."

"I didn't know."

"You didn't notice that all men have a name starting with S and endingwith K?"

"I did, but I didn't think it was of any import."

"Our name indicates the family to which we belong. It is as simple asthat. With our naming conventions, at least there is no need for afamily name."

"I don't know: I kind of like having a family name. After all this yearsspent among humans, don't you miss having one?"

"I do have one."

"You do?"

"Yes. When I entered Starfleet academy, I had to fill in a family name."

"What is it?"

"Grayson, of course. What else?"

"I don't know: I thought you had some sort of secret Vulcan name thatyou weren't supposed to tell, but did tell to Starfleet and--"

"You read too many novels."

"Probably."

"Shouldn't we be heading for bed?"

"Yes. We shouldn't forget I'm a student again."

They started walking towards their rooms.

"I forgot to ask you if you found the class interesting."

"As a matter of fact, yes. I learned a lot. I even made a friend. Guesswhat his job was?"

"How do you want me to guess? Shouldn't *you* be telling *me*?"

"You're no fun. He was a Starfleet engineer."

"The Intrepid?"

"Exactly. He was on Vulcan when it happened."

"It must have been devastating for him."

"Well, he doesn't remember."

They had arrived in front of the doctor's room.

"If you intend to take a shower, I advise you to wait for the morning:my parents prefer showering in the evening. Unless you want to use mysonic shower."

"No, tomorrow's fine."

"Good night, then."

"Good night, Spock."

Again, there was an awkward instant when they had to part. Their momentstogether may not have been spent in harmony, but leaving the other, evenfor the night, was as painful for Spock as it was for McCoy. Spockhurried in his room. He took off his robe and looked for a towel. Whenhe finally found one, he headed for his private bathroom, across thecorridor. Before he dared go out, he checked that it was empty.Satisfied that it was without risk, he left his room and found himselfface to face with his mother. His face took the deeper shade of greenthat was ever seen on a Vulcan. She saw the purple spots, and evidentlyunderstood what they were because she did not mention them.

"Spock, I just came to inquire about your plans for tomorrow."

"The doctor will attend some classes at the VSA and I have some businessin town."

The last part was a lie: until he had discovered his parents' presence,he had planned to remain at home.

"Fine. So you won't be having lunch here?"

"As far as I can tell, we won't. I will check with McCoy."

"You will, however, be here for dinner."

"Yes, mother. But as I said, it also depends on the doctor's plans."

"OK. Sleep well, my son."

She left and he hurried to the bathroom. He was embarrassed that she hadseen his in such a state and more so because it meant that his fathernow also knew: there is little secret between bondmates. He told himselfthat he was a grown-up man, who had every right to do as he pleased withhis genitals. In the same time, their opinion still mattered to him:otherwise, why wouldn't he have told them yet that he preferred men?

He decided to forget about the incident and took a rapid shower. He alsocleaned his pants in it, removing most of the stains: it was a methodthat he had often used during his youth. He wrapped himself in his toweland went back to his room. As he had meditated earlier today, he decidedto go to bed immediately. Sleep eluded him for some time. He thought ofthe many events of the day: McCoy's uncharacteristic behaviour, theadministrative odyssey, the horrible matchmaker, the exhaustingdiscussion, the sex with Segor and, to top it all, his parents' earlyreturn... Some of his shifts on the Enterprise had been more agitated,but none had been so emotionally demanding. In addition, there was thetension coming from his continuing battle against his Pon Farr. Thesexual release had had a soothing effect, but soon enough the madness ofthe Pon Farr would be on him. His controls were holding, but onlybarely: earlier, with Segor, he had all but laughed. He would have totell McCoy tomorrow. Later on, he would become too emotional to handlehis refusal with some dignity. He fell asleep, trying to find the leastpainful way to tell McCoy.

In the other room, McCoy had also been reflecting on his day. Theknowledge that he most probably would die as a Vulcan did not worry himanymore, not now that he had more or less understood what he had to doto retain as much humanity as possible. Moreover, being a Vulcan wasn'tthat bad: he was in greater shape and had just been given at least sixtyyears of life. Not a bad deal, considering he hadn't lost much. But healso realized, with some bitterness, that his surprising optimism wasreally just his way of coping with something he could do nothing about:becoming human again just was not an option if it meant he could die orbe seriously hurt. As for his feelings for Spock, he once more tried tobury them: there was no real hope. If Spock did not find someone withinthree days, he would have to call Jim. Only in the unlikely case whereJim was to turn down Spock, would he talk to Spock. A little part of himhoped for this to happen. His conscience, however, told him that thiswas an awful thing to wish someone you love.

His night was agitated, full of erotic dreams nightmares. As he woke up,it was still early. He had a painful hard-on. He stood up and decided tojump on the occasion and test Spock's advices on the matter. He grabbeda towel and went down to Spock's parents' bathroom. Spock had beenright: they had taken a shower last night. The floor was still wet andthere was some purple shampoo spilled here and there. He rapidly tookoff his clothes and went into the cubicle. He let for a few seconds thewater refresh his body, and then started what he came for. He closed hiseyes and thought of Spock. His cock was still hard and it didn't takemuch to bring him to the edge of orgasm. Very carefully, he let down hisguard. Suddenly he came. He felt himself ejaculate, but strangely, hiscock did not soften. He went on, stroking himself with more vigour andcame a second time. As he felt the blood leaving his penis, he wassatisfied with himself. Being Vulcan definitely had hidden advantages.When he opened his eyes and saw the colour of his sperm, he chocked. Herapidly soaped himself and careful as to avoid the coloured spots on thefloor, he went out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist. As hewalked by Spock's parents' bedroom, he heard loud voices coming from it.They were obviously fighting, but he couldn't make out what they weresaying. He hurried to his room, where he sat himself on his bed, as ifin some sort of torpor. What had happened in the bathroom he didn't evenwant to think about. What really bothered him was the idea that lastnight Spock had ejaculated all over himself. The logical conclusion wasthat Segor had made him come. McCoy had succeeded with his mission andshould be happy for Spock, but part of him just couldn't. What he reallywanted was to go to his room and ask him why he did that. However,displays of jealousy just weren't an option here. He calmed himself andlooked for some clothes. He still had some new underwear, but had lefthis robe in Sapok's car. He put on the one Spock had lent him. As hedidn't know what else to do and started feeling hungry, he wentdownstairs, heading for the kitchen. But on his way, he was interceptedby Amanda. When she saw his wet hair, she blushed.

"Did you spend a pleasant night?"

"Yes."

What else could he say? Certainly not that he had been plagued all nightby erotic dreams about her son.

"Could you just follow me in here, please?"

She guided him into the living room.

"Is something wrong?"

"Sarek and I thought that, as you're going to be like this for sometime, we should have a little talk with you."

"That's what the two of you were fighting about?"

"Yes. We couldn't agree on who would speak with you: Sarek insisted thata human was more adapted to this task, but I thought that, given thetopic, a man would be better suited. He is one of the best debaters inthe galaxy, I never stood a chance."

McCoy smiled, slightly embarrassed as he understood what topic shemeant.

"I'm a bit old to be told about the birds and the bees, you know."

Amanda smiled.

"Perhaps, but Vulcans are slightly more complicated. I know you helpedSpock during his time, but how much do you actually know about PonFarr?"

"I deduced that it was a hormonal imbalance that could only be resolvedthrough mating."

"Yes. There isn't much more to tell about the physical part. Here comesthe delicate part: during our stay on the Enterprise, you told me youwere currently unattached. That is still the case, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I--"

"This cannot continue: your Pon Farr may begin at any moment and nothaving a bondmate means an assured death. If you want, we could help youto find a wife that would understand the special needs of Vulcan males.There is a specialized matchmaking service here in--"

"Thank you for the offer, but I'm afraid I cannot accept it."

"But why? I know it is no longer a human custom to resort to suchmethods, but--"

McCoy raised his hand in a sign to still her.

"I. Well, I'm gay, so I don't think the matchmaker would find someonesuitable for me."

"I didn't know. You are right: there aren't many homosexual Vulcans.When I first arrived here, I wondered why it was so, but no one knew."

"Well, Spock's theory is that the genetic structure of full-bloodedVulcans somehow forces them to be heterosexual."

McCoy only realized too late what he had said: Amanda was an intelligentwoman and with the information he just gave her, she would be able todeduce Spock's own preferences. She remained silent for a moment, whichconfirmed the doctor's suspicions.

"It is an interesting theory which would warrant more research."

"That's Segor's opinion too: he decided to start working on in."

"Segor? That's the man you saw last night."

"Yes. He is a specialist of human and Vulcan genetics. And he's likeus.half-Vulcan, I mean."

"I see."

She paused.

"Doctor, even if you won't need our help, do not wait too long to searchfor a mate. There is no way telling when your first Pon Farr willoccur."

"I will keep that in mind. Thank you."

McCoy hurried to the kitchen, while Amanda went to her room.

"You were right about Spock."

"I know. What Ronar and I witnessed years ago was no accident: we shouldhave acted in consequence and bonded them together."

"No, there was not way to affirm with certitude that it would be hislife-long preference. Young adults do experiment with their sexuality."

"Human perhaps, but not Vulcans."

"If you say so. According to McCoy, there probably is a geneticexplanation."

"I don't see what difference it makes. Spock is what he is. His onlyfault was not to tell us. Not even a month ago, when I had finallyconvinced Pevik to bond his daughter to him, he refused. I nowunderstand his reasons, but it he had told me the truth, I could havefound him a more suitable mate. "

"I know."

"His deceiving behaviour is unworthy of a Vulcan."

"Don't say that. Spock behaves more like a Vulcan than many full-bloodedone. Sometimes, he makes mistakes, but doesn't everyone?"

"I know, my wife, I know. But it still pains me to see him like this."

Amanda went to her husband and hugged him: it was not something sheoften did, except when they spoke of Spock. His behaviour was one of thefew topics that could bring strong emotions out of Sarek. It lasted afew seconds until Sarek pushed her back.

"My wife, I must go now. I shall be back for lunch."

He left without waiting for her answer.

She walked to her mirror, put on her make-up, and styled her hair. Then,she went to the kitchen, where she found McCoy, sitting with a cup oftea.

"Can I offer you some tea?"

"No thank you. I usually have coffee."

She busied herself by preparing the coffee then sat down next to McCoy.

"I envy your command of Vulcan. One would think you were born here."

"If you want, Spock still has the formula: you could be talking like mein a few days' time."

"I like my ears just the way they are."

"I agree with you: pointed-ears are very overrated."

Small talk was not her forte: probably one of the reasons that had hermarry a Vulcan. Unfortunately, as an ambassador's wife, she spent mostof her time doing small talk with complete strangers.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Amanda went to the front door,where two policemen were waiting for her.

"T'Reu?"

It had been a long time since anyone had used her Vulcan name.

"Yes."

"Is there a Selek, son of S'Saak staying here?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

The nice thing about the Vulcan police is that they believed they neverquestioned the veracity of what Vulcan citizens told them.

"This man used a false name and gave your address to the VSA."

"I hope you find him."

She closed the door and went back to the kitchen.

"You used the name Selek, didn't you?"

"Yes, how do you know?"

"The police are looking after you. What did you do?"

"Nothing criminal, I think. I performed a mind meld in public and wassent to the school's headmaster. That's the closest thing to a crime Ican think of."

"She must have done some research on you and when she found nothing, shecontacted the police."

"Yes, probably."

"You won't be able to class anymore."

"What a pity: one of today's topics would have been the Pon Farr. ButI'm glad I covered that earlier this morning with my private tutor."

Amanda blushed lightly, and started speaking with the same tone she usedto address small children.

"As Sarek spends most of his time elsewhere, it would mean beingseparated from him."

"Yes, of course."

"What was your subject?"

"I taught mathematics."

"Between a Vulcan father and a mother who is a math teacher, I see therenever was any hope for Spock."

"You make it sound as if we had been cruel parents and tortured him."

"Hey, I never said that."

"Besides, you're a scientist too. You know how it is."

"I do indeed."

They both laughed. McCoy decided to reorient the conversation beforeAmanda started asking him personal questions.

"What are your plans for today?"

"I spent most of my time here taking care of the garden or shopping.Today, I had no specific projects."

"We could perhaps do something, the three of us."

"Spock told me he had some business in town."

"We'll have to ask him, then."

Suddenly, McCoy stood up and climbed the stairs. When he entered Spock'sroom, he was surprise to find he was not in his bed.

"Good morning, Leonard."

Spock was standing behind him.

"You scared the hell out of me. I was looking for you. Your mother and Iwere wondering if you would like for the three of us to do something."

"Aren't you supposed to go to the VSA?"

"To make a long story short: no, I can't. So, what were your plans fortoday?"

"We must go and see Sutok, our family healer."

"OK. Let's go to the kitchen, you're mother is waiting for us."

They went downstairs.

"Hello Spock. Do you want me to prepare you some breakfast?"

"Yes, mother."

Both men sat down and waited while Amanda busied herself at her stove. Afew minutes later, she served them the same puree they had eaten themorning before.

"You'll have to give me the recipe."

"It's quite easy, actually."

McCoy shot a dark glance at Spock, who had obviously wanted to keep thesecrets of this dish for himself.

She took a plate of it herself and sat down with them. They ate insilence.

As usually, McCoy was done first.

"Spock and I have an errand to run first, but afterwards, we're allyours."

"Fine. I don't know yet what we could do."

"What did you do with Spock when he was younger?"

She giggled a little, but, as she was about to answer, Spock put downhis fork and stood up, to end the conversation.

"It is time for us to leave."

He left the kitchen and the house, heading for Sapok's

Nonplussed, McCoy followed him. He caught up with him in Sapok'sentrance hall. The old man stood near the stairs: he was handing Spockthe keys to the hovercraft.

"Don't forget to charge the battery: last night you didn't plug it in."

"An unfortunate mistake. I shall endeavour not to repeat it. "

When he saw McCoy, when went to him and saluted him.

"You're also here. It's nice to see you again."

"The feeling is mutual."

Spock was beginning to become slightly irritated by the exchange ofcommonalities: he went downstairs and took out the vehicle.

McCoy bade his farewell and ran out to where he had parked.

During their mostly silent trip, Spock was trying to determine, giventhe change in plan, when would be the best opportunity to speak withMcCoy.

He would obviously have to wait for his appointment with Sutok to beover. Then, depending on what his mother would decide, the rest of theday could very well not feature one remotely appropriate moment. Hisonly option, at the moment, was to wait for the evening. Then, if McCoywas not too tired, he would he do what he had to do.

McCoy kept on observing Spock: he remembered, how last night, they hadsat in the exact same position, not a metre from each other, and yetthey had been worlds apart. Most often, he thought he knew more or less,what went on in Spock's mind. He wondered if he wasn't just beingpretentious: last night, even for one million credits, he wouldn't haveguessed Spock had had sex. The truth was he knew nothing of the man. Yeteven when he had realized that, he still loved him.

As Sutok didn't live far from Spock, their trip was a short one. Spockparked, but before he exited the car, he felt he had to explain thedoctor some basic aspects of the Vulcan medical system.

"Sutok is receiving you as a favour to me: as a matter of fact, he hassworn he would not treat any Vulcan who does not belong to this family."

Not knowing what to say, McCoy nodded.

"It is better I do not enter with you. He knows why you are here, butyou will have to ask him explicitly for a meld. It is the tradition."

"Fine. How long do you think it will last?"

"I do not know, but I saw that the damages where relatively extensive.It should take some time."

"Then, you'd better go home: I'll find the way on my own."

"If you wish, but if you change your mind, just contact me. You do havethe communicator I gave you?"

" Yes, Spock."

They went to the healer's door and were greeted by Sutok.

"Here is McCoy."

"Yes. Come in."

McCoy entered and Spock went back to his car. He was rapidly at home.

When he arrived, his mother was given instructions to the housekeeper.She insisted that her bathroom was to be given special attention.

"I allowed Leonard to use your water shower. I hope it does notinconvenience you."

"I was about to head for the garden. I could need the help of a strongman."

Actually, she didn't, but she had always used this pretext to spend sometime with Spock in the garden. It had been pretty much the only activitythey had shared during his youth. Sarek always said that having anEarth-like garden on Vulcan was a fabulous waste of water. When Spockbegan to grow up, started saying the same. But Amanda knew better: Sarekand her had strolled more than once in that garden and he had enjoyedit. As for Spock, during his adolescence, she had often caught himdaydreaming on the bench behind the cherry tree. Her conclusion had beenthat Vulcan's were the most illogical people on the world, when it cameto feelings. Here they were again, mother and son, working together,making the Vulcan soil a little less hostile to humanity.

"Spock, could you cut the roses over there?"

"Yes, mother."

"You do remember how it's done, don't you?"

"Yes, mother. Please, if you could just focus on whatever you aredoing."

"Can't you see I am planting tulips? Of course not. It would beundignified for a Vulcan to know such things, wouldn't it?"

Spock decided not to gratify her with an answer. His mother was astubborn woman: it often seemed to him, she did everything on purpose,just to annoy him. The only other person who had that unnerving abilitywas McCoy. Even some of the fights that they had on board of theEnterprise were only replays of what had happened with his mother. Atleast he had had the training, which explained perhaps why he won sooften.

Meanwhile, McCoy was having his mind examined by Sutok. The healer wasstill quite young and had never melded with an outworlder before. Andyet, he was amazed at how well trained this man's mind was: he couldcommand his emotions and shield his thought with a mastery he thoughtimpossible for someone not raised on this planet. The damages the otherSpock had inflicted were not serious, but quite extended. He workedswiftly, repairing one by one all of the memories that had been touched.When he was almost done, he encountered a place of such love and desirethat it almost undone him. He asked the doctor what it was and was shownit was Spock's representation in his mind. He could feel that the otherSpock had laughed when he had seen this part of McCoy, and that the manhad been deeply hurt. He repaired what he could, but left the painbecause it was what the doctor wished. As he was about to break themeld, he saw, in a corner, the ancient drives gathering. They were stillweak, but he knew that soon they would be strong enough to drive thisman crazy. He didn't tell it to McCoy, because the traditions were quiteexplicit on this matter: no outworlder had to know about it. When thedoctor had left, he found a solution with which he had ethicallycomfortable. He dialled Sarek's house extension, hoping that Spock hadgone home.

Spock had been cutting rose for more than an hour, wondering why hismother needed such a large garden, when he was interrupted by a ringcoming from the communication unit in the kitchen.

"Spock, could you get it? It is probably your father."

Not overjoyed that his mother would tell him to speak with Sarek, hewalked slowly to the comm unit.

"Spock, here."

"Sutok speaking."

Amanda's voice was coming from the garden.

"Is it your father?"

"I will put you on hold."

He transferred the call to the unit in his bedroom.

"No, it is... Segor. I shall answer the call in my room."

He hurried to his room.

"I am back."

"McCoy just leaved. There is something I must tell you."

"Go on."

"While I melded with him, I felt his time was nearing. He has one monthat the most. If he really is a friend of yours, you must assist him infinding a mate."

"Very well. Your concern is appreciated. Spock over."

At the moment, Spock's only thought was that he was tired of surprises:he had planned over and over, but there always was something that cameand wrecked his carefully made plans. McCoy's Pon Farr. It hadn't evenoccurred to him. There only was one thing left to do: forget about hislove and try to find a wife for McCoy. It would not be an easy task,especially with such little time to go until his own Pon Farr. And itwasn't as if he could simply send McCoy to the matchmaker and let her dothe job: he wasn't a Vulcan.

Suddenly, he had an idea: he made some rapid research on Vulcan adoptionprocedures and found out that all his father had to do was to declarehim a member of their family. Then, McCoy could go and see that horriblematchmaker. While he was using his console, he had heard McCoy comingback. He heard him speak with Amanda, then go to his room. He decidedthat it would be a good opportunity to inform him of what was coming.When he entered the guest room, the doctor was sitting at the desk,holding his head with his two hands.

"I trust everything went well with Sutok."

McCoy turned around.

"Yes, he's been well trained. And he's nice. for a Vulcan."

"He called me, a few minutes ago."

"Did he?"

"Yes. Leonard, did you not notice a small imbalance in your system?"

"Yes, but I thought it was normal.

"No. You have one month until your Pon Farr."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. We must find you a wife."

"You're the second person today who wants me to get a wife. What is itwith you people? Can't a man do as he pleases with his life?"

"I understand that marrying a Vulcan woman might not be appealing toyou, but returning to Earth and explaining a human wife what is expectedof her would take too long."

"I don't want a wife. It is as simple as that."

"You will die, then."

"Spock, for God's sake, don't you know that I'm gay?"

There, he had said it.

"As a matter of fact, I didn't."

"There, now you know."

That came as a shock to him. Ideas began to become blurred in Spock'smind.

"The task will be slightly more delicate, but it is not impossible. Forinstance, you seemed to like Segor."

McCoy laughed sadly: Spock was a most generous man, indeed. He was readyto abandon the man he would most likely bond to, to save his life.

"No Spock. I can't."

Spock evaluated the problem for a few seconds.

"Did you always present these proclivities or did they appear when youwere transformed?"

"Don't start again with that bloody theory of yours. I was born likethat and I intend to die like that. "

"Very well. The problem remains, then. You must find a mate."

All of a sudden, McCoy couldn't bare it anymore: he had to shut up Spockonce and for all.

"I don't want to find a mate, because I already found one."

This took Spock by surprise, but he rapidly regained his composure.

"Then I can only offer you my congratulations."

"No, you don't understand. I haven't told him yet. You see, I'm in thesame situation as you are."

Spock didn't see what McCoy meant. He thought about their conversation,on the Enterprise and finally understood.

"You are also in love with Jim."

McCoy would have strangled the man if he hadn't been in love with him.Instead, he realized that this provided him with an elegant solution tohis more immediate problem: Spock would shut up and stop trying to findhim a mate. As he couldn't bring himself to say the words, he simplynodded.

This information devastated Spock, but he did his best not to let itshow.

"I assume you do not wish to tell him."

"No."

The room was silent for a long moment. Spock knew he had to saysomething or he would break down. He decided that an attempt at humourwould lighten the situation and help him relax.

"If I had emotions, I would be amused."

"Spock, this won't work anymore: I was there, I saw them. You haveemotions."

The doctor had reacted as he hoped: it was good that some things stillhad not changed.

He raised an eyebrow and answered.

"Then, I am amused"

McCoy smiled, but one could see his heart was not at it.

"You have every right to be: what a pair we make!"

"Indeed, Leonard."

Again, they didn't speak for a while, each contemplating what he hadjust lost.

Spock suddenly started pacing the room: he realized that in fact, he hasnothing left to lose: there was a high probability that at least one ofthem would die from being unbonded. He couldn't let that happen.

"I may have a solution to our problem."

"Well, go on, Spock, I am all ears."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and then went on, serious again.

"Logic dictates that if two parties have a problem that can be solvedthrough collaboration, whenever it is possible for them to reach amutually satisfactory agreement, they should go with it. Would you beprepared to consider such a possibility?"

The doctor wasn't sure whether he had to thank his new Vulcan ears, hisnew Vulcan brain, or a long forgotten deity, but he understood whatSpock meant. His reaction would have been to scream something along theline 'Yes, Spock, marry me', if he hadn't been sure that this wasanother act of pity on Spock's part: Spock obviously liked Segor andwould again be ready to sacrifice himself for his welfare. As he more orless understood the nature of the bond between spouses, he wouldn'tstand a life sharing his mind with someone who had only married him outof self-sacrifice.

"May I remind you that it is your fault, if you have to accommodate:before your intervention, my ears were perfectly rounded and I had themost delicate pinkish skin tone. You --- Ahahaha --- what are youdoing?"

What Spock *was* doing, was slowly licking the top of the doctor's ear.He was standing behind his chair, letting their bodies touch only inthat single spot.

Suddenly, McCoy turned around and caught Spock's mouth with his own.When he next caught air, Spock went on with his teasing.

"Vulcans are not supposed to engage in what human call 'making out'."

"Well, let's just indulge our human halves a little. It would be unfairto deprive them. Besides, if our Vulcan parts were to complain, we couldtell them, it's cultural observation."

"Cultural observation?"

"Yes, Spock."

"Doctor, are you suffering from some sort of multiple personalitydisorder?"

"McCoy chuckled.

"Shut up Spock and kiss me."

"I shall endeavour to follow any prescription given by my physician."

"Now you get the attitude."

McCoy stood up and their bodies were now pressed together. When McCoyfelt his penis harden, he remembered the pleasant surprise he had had inthe shuttlecraft and wished to share it with Spock.

"Did you know that my penis became longer and larger because of thetransformation?"

"It was to be expected. Vulcans are generally more generously endowedthan humans are. You should see my father's."

"Spock, I don't this is the best moment to discuss your father's penis."

"And I agree."

They looked around to see who had spoken these last words. Sarek wasstanding in the doorstep.

They let go of each other and aligned themselves in front of Sarek as ifstanding at attention during an inspection. As they wouldn't speak,Sarek went on.

"Not that I can imagine many situations that would warrant a discussionabout my genitalia."

He briefly paused.

"Amanda and I will be expecting you in the living room."

He left.

"Reminds me of my teenage years."

"Why?"

McCoy smiled and kissed Spock on the cheek

"Only you can ask such questions. Well, it was the last time I wascaught red handed by my date's father."

"I am glad that you refer to me as your date, but I hope that soon wewill be much more."

The doctor was slightly embarrassed by the straightforward fashion inwhich Spock expressed his feelings towards him: he regretted he couldnot give him the same.

"You would have married me even if I had not loved you, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"But why?"

"Loosing you forever would have been a fate worse than not being loved."

A few tears came to the doctor's eyes as he kissed Spock.

"They are waiting for us."

As they left the room, McCoy took Spock's hand in his own. When theyarrived in the living room, he had expected him to release it. Instead,Spock pressed it harder, as if to give himself some courage for theconfrontation that was to come.

They sat down on one of the sofas. Amanda was sitting in the other, abig smile on her face, while Sarek was standing by the window gazingoutside.

"Spock, do you wish to bond with this man?"

"Yes, father"

"McCoy, do you wish to bond with Spock?"

"Ambassador, there is nothing I would like more."

"Very well, but you must know that in order to participate to thetraditional ceremony, you must be a member of a Vulcan family. I aprepared to invite you in ours, if you accept to behave as one expectsfrom a Vulcan."

McCoy thought about it for a moment.

"I can control my Vulcan emotions and I can keep my human ones in checkwhen necessary, but I will not just forget that I'm human. This is allthat I can promise."

"And it is all that I ask."

Sarek finally turned around and saw his son's hand around the doctor's.He raised an eyebrow and exchanged a look with Amanda.

"I will contact T'Pau to decide on a proper date for the wedding."

He simply left the room.

Amanda went to Spock and McCoy, who also stood up.

"Congratulations to both of you. Spock, I'm so glad I'll be able toattend to your wedding."

While she spoke, she had kissed the men on both cheeks, as if it werethe most natural thing to do on Vulcan.

Then, she followed her husband into his office.

Spock and McCoy stood there, as if they had been hit by a lightning.

"An half hours ago, I was miserable as hell because I thought you werein love with Jim and about to bond with Segor, and now I'm a member ofyou family and we're going to get married."

He chuckled and then started speaking again.

"Reminds me: isn't there a law against that kind of things?"

"No. The human and Vulcan concepts of family greatly differ. My fatherforgot to tell you that you had to choose a new name."

"I kind of liked the one I had."

"I explained that all male members of this family were named in honourto Surak."

"Yes, I remember now. Is there a list from which I could pick?"

"Words of Ancient Vulcan are often used: there should be a dictionary onyour console."

"I'll look at it. Just to be sure: it's not like I'm going to have touse it back on the Enterprise, is it?"

"No. It will, however, appear in your Starfleet record, along with yourhuman name. Starfleet will also be informed of your Vulcan citizenship,but you will also keep your Terran one."

"Just great."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, of course not."

A wicked smile appeared on McCoy's lips.

"Besides, I think I found how I'm going to revenge."

"I wait for your explanation."

"Well, you told me your Starfleet records showed Spock Grayson."

"Exactly."

"Don't you think Spock McCoy would sound better?"

Both eyebrows went up but he didn't answer.

"It's just for the records, no-one would know."

"I am sure that within five minutes the entire ship would be informed."

He paused.

"I nevertheless agree: after all, it is only fair that if you have tochange your name, I should also change mine."

"You're simply amazing, Spock. I did not think you would go for it."

"Spock McCoy *does* sound better than my present name."

They began kissing again, their bodies pressed against each other. Astheir caresses became more intent and their penises more erect, theydecided that it would be better to get back to one of their rooms,before anyone walked in on them.

On their way to Spock's room, they met his parents.

"Given the nature of the situation, T'Pau is ready to bond you thisevening. I arranged for the place to be prepared. Transportation fromShiKahr will leave at four. If you wish to invite someone, tell him orher to be here on time. Spock, I trust you will inform the doctor ofwhat he has to do until then."

"Yes, father."

Spock pause for an instant, unsure, then went on.

"You should also order the traditional wedding robes: Nugort has bothour measurements, as we had him do some robes, two days ago."

"Very well."

"I am sure it will be a wonderful ceremony. Oh, I almost forgot. Wethought that lunch would be a good moment to perform the adoption.Around two o'clock: is that fine with you?"

"I'll do my best to have found a name by then."

They hurried to Spock's room, but bizarrely Spock's wasn't interestedanymore in finishing what they had started.

"Don't tell me you're saving yourself for your wedding night?"

Spock hesitated for an instant.

"It's only a few hours from now and you have much to do."

McCoy chuckled and slowly shook his head.

"Fine."

"I should go now: I wish for Sapok to be present. Do you agree?"

"Of course, but I thought you would help me pick a name."

"No this is a very private task. You must do it by yourself."

Spock headed for the door.

"Spock, you should also invite Segor."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, if it's doesn't bother you, that is."

"No, I shall invite him. Anyone else you wish to be present?"

"You're the one who was brought up here: you should be inviting people,not me."

"I do not care for anyone's presence at my wedding, except for yours, ofcourse."

"Get out before I jump on you and forget about waiting for the weddingnight."

Spock left and McCoy sat himself at the console.

"Computer, make a list with all words in Ancient Vulcan starting with Sand ending with K."

"Done. 4582 entries."

It would be a long day.

"Computer, show me the list."

Spock had gone to the laundry room: he wanted to check whether Segor'sclothes had been cleaned. They weren't,; so he put them in the machineand selected a cleaning and ironing cycle, then decided to see Sapok.Spock experienced some difficulties finding him: he was neither in hiskitchen, in his room or even in his garage. He decided to explore allother rooms. When he finally found him, the old man was bending oversomething he would not identify.

"Come nearer, Spock. I want to show you something."

Spock did as he was told. He recognized what it was.

"You are building a miniature of Gol."

"Yes. I'm almost done: I only have the doors and window to do. What doyou think?"

"I have never been to the building itself, but from the holo-pictures Isaw, I would say it is a fairly accurate model."

"Indeed." He paused.

"What brings you here, Spock?"

"McCoy and I are going to be bonded tonight. I wish you to attend theceremony."

The old man hugged Spock, squeezing him so violently between his arms,that he thought he had broken him a rib.

"I'm so glad for you."

Suddenly he moved back and looked at Spock with a worried face.

"Your father, does he know?"

"Yes, he does. He arranged the ceremony."

Again, Spock's lungs were crushed by the old man's strong arms. Asdelicately as possible, he extracted himself from Sapok's grasp.

"You will come, then?"

"Of course."

"We will leave at four. Meet us in front of my father's house."

"I will be there."

Spock went back to his house and was pleased to see that the clotheswere ready.

He took them and jumped in the hovercraft he had parked in the street.

He rapidly drove to Segor's lab. He wondered if it was such a good ideato invite him: he thought that if McCoy had known what had happenedbetween them, he wouldn't have wanted him to be present. He entered thelab and found him in front of his console.

"Live long and prosper, Segor."

"Hi, Spock. You came to bring me back my clothes."

"Yes."

He handed him the plastic bag.

"I prepared a microtape for McCoy: there's the data from the tests weconducted and from the simulations. If he ever changes his mind."

Spock took the tape.

"I don't think he ever will."

There was a moment of awkward silent.

"Did you speak with him?"

"Yes. We are getting bonded, later today."

A faint smile appeared on Segor's face.

"Congratulations. I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"We want you to come to the ceremony."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do come."

"Fine."

"Meet us at 1600 hours in front of my father's house.

"I'll be there."

He took his leave and went back to the hovercraft.

All had gone well: he hoped McCoy had had the same kind of success as hehad had.

But this wasn't the case: he had started reading in alphabetical orderand was disappointed to see that most of the possible names where eithersimply barbaric, like Sacolik, the sound of the blood coming from awound, or meant mathematical concepts, like Sak, a triangle. Even in thepre-reform days, Vulcans were already inclined towards sciences: theysimply were savage barbaric scientists. The images that came up toMcCoy's mind forced him to laugh. A moment later, he went back to hissearch. He considered for an instant using a word in Standard instead,but the only one that sprang to his mind weren't much better: Stork,Spark, Stock, Slick. Then he saw Sapok among the list. It means the doorto Gol. A strange name: he wondered what his parents had chosen it. Helooked for the other names he knew: Sarek is the abbreviation of 'Sakuwa Murek', the good and the bad. Again, he found Vulcan parents reallyhad a strange logic when it came to naming their children. He looked forSpock, prepared to find the same kind of bizarre meaning, but wassurprised: Spock is the mathematical word meaning the midpoint of asegment. It was a fitting choice that Sarek and Amanda had made probablybecause they really wanted Spock to be part of both cultures They hadn'tbeen entirely successful, but one could still see, when looking atSpock, that he had been the product of a loving collaboration between aVulcan and a human. Many things in Spock's life were a result of thistwo-sided origin, and McCoy was glad that he too would not contribute toit: a human - well, almost - taking part to a Vulcan wedding ceremonywith a half-Vulcan. He wondered what their children would look like.They would be able to choose from the whole spectrum from full-bloodedVulcans to full-blooded humans. He would have to ask Spock about it.

He shook himself out of this reverie and focused again on the taskahead: he still had no name for himself. Suddenly he remembered one ofthe words he had read: it fitted perfectly. He stopped his research anddecided to go down and help Amanda in the kitchen.

It was almost 2 o'clock, and the meal was ready: Sarek, Amanda, andMcCoy had seated themselves at the table and waited for Spock insilence.

He came in just on time and sat himself next to McCoy.

"We can begin now."

Sarek stood up. The others did the same.

"McCoy, what do you wish to be called?"

"Sabuk."

Three frowning faces where looking at him.

"Very well. Sabuk you are now a member of our family. Vulcans will callyou Sabuk, son of Sarek, from now on."

"Thank you."

They sat down and began to eat. The meal consisted of various dishes hehad never seen before. He tasted them all, but found only one of them tohis liking.

Spock was barely eating at all: the prospect of what was going to happenlater on had made disappear the little appetite the Pon Farr had spared.In addition, he was surprised by McCoy's choice. As soon as his parentshad left the table, each to tend to a different part of the weddingpreparations, he decided to ask him about it.

"Why did you choose that name?"

"Do you know what Sabuk means?"

"Yes, it is the perpendicular bisector of a segment. I don't see whatthat has to do with you."

McCoy sighed: Spock could be so dense sometimes.

"Then describe me exactly what the perpendicular bisector of a segmentis."

"It is the line that is perpendicular to that segment and goesthrough... its midpoint."

"Now you see. I thought it was fitting. It's like us: we go in totallydifferent directions, but somehow, we still find each other at the endof the day."

"I never liked the name my parents gave me: it seemed so pretentious andinaccurate. It always reminded me of what I was not. Now that your nameis link to it, I think I shall like it a little more."

As they were both still seated and could not press closer, McCoy grabbedSpock's hand. They sat there simply enjoying the touch of the other formoment.

They were interrupted by Amanda, who was bringing two boxes.

"They delivered the traditional robes. It already three o'clock. Youshould perhaps shower and get dressed."

"Fine."

As soon as Amanda had left, McCoy stood up, took the boxes with his freehand, and dragging Spock behind him, headed for Spock's parents'bathroom.

"I thought we agreed--"

"Come with me. I know there's enough room. I just want to look at you.It'll be fun. Besides, I want to check what I buy before it's too late."

Spock raised an eyebrow and followed him in.

They immediately took of their clothes and stared at each other.

Fascinated by the way McCoy observed him, Spock couldn't help butcomment.

"You look at me as if you had never seen me naked."

"I never have seen the man I love naked. Examining a patient, it's justnot the same thing."

Spock came closer and took him in his arms. Skin against skin, hairagainst hair, penis against penis: it didn't last long until McCoy hadto disentangle himself from Spock's arms.

"This was a bad idea: I can't go on like this. Let's take a shower."

He turned on the water and walked in. Spock followed. They were bothstill very erect and very embarrassed about it. McCoy decided he neededto break the sexually charged atmosphere.

"Let's see who has the longest."

Spock frowned, not sure he understood what the doctor meant.

"Just face me and then we move closer: the first whose penis touches theother's body has the longest."

Spock was a little perplexed but complied.

"You win. But I'm sure I beat you on the circumference. "

"We will have to measure. I told you I have an excellent geneticbackground."

McCoy glanced at the door, to make sure it was closed.

"Yes, I know, your father's penis is huge. Do you think he would show itto me?"

The absurdity of their discussion made him laugh.

"I do not think the moment is anymore suited that it was this morning tospeak of this."

"I know I just wanted to get rid of this."

He pointed to his already softening erection. Spock's had entirelydisappear.

"You see: it worked."

"It was a most effective method indeed. We should perhaps get on withthe shower."

"Well, it would be better if each of us washed himself."

"What other possible arrangements are there?"

"You still have a lot to learn when it comes to erotic games."

"Obviously."

They rapidly washed and stepped out of the cubicle.

Spock handed McCoy him the box with his name on it. After what Vulcanfabrics he had seen, he expected the robe to be elegant and lavishlyembroidered.

It turned out to be a black robe with large vertical white stripes.Spock's was white with black stripes.

"I didn't expect to get married dressed as a referee."

"It is the traditional garb, but if you prefer, you can put on your redrobe."

"No, I was just making a joke."

Spock put on his robe and stepped in his sandals. He waited for McCoy todo the same.

"No underwear?"

"No."

"Let me guess: it's the tradition."

"You *are* beginning to understand."

"Well, it's not very convenient: it really isn't pleasant to run withoutunderwear."

"You are not supposed to run."

"It was a theoretical question."

"I know."

McCoy rapidly dressed himself and they went out.

Amanda was waiting for them in the living room. She had already changedher clothes. When she saw them, she smiled and went out, saying:

"Wait an instant, please."

They waited for her, standing at the same exact spot. She came back witha comb and a holo-camera.

She started to comb Spock.

"Mother, I am a grown man: I have no need for your grooming."

"Yes, you do. You should have seen yourself. There, it's much betternow."

McCoy was laughing, until Amanda started combing his hair.

"Lady Amanda, I can handle this myself."

"No, no, no: you are also my son now, and I can't let you run around asif they hadn't invented combs on your planet."

When she had finished with his hair, she ordered them to go to thegarden and took a picture of the two of them. Then, she called herhusband. He came, dressed in a dark red robe, with golden patterns.After taking pictures of the three men, she shot some with Sarek andeach of his sons. Then, she handed the camera over and pictures wheretaken of each of the remaining combinations left. They were almost done,when Sapok arrived. He had to take a picture of the four of them, andthen, Amanda got a hold of the camera again and took him with Spock andMcCoy. She did the same when Segor finally came. The five men wherebeginning to be annoyed by Amanda's behaviour.

"I hope the most exhausting part of the wedding is to take thepictures."

Two of the Vulcans raised an eyebrow at McCoy's comment, two discreetlysmiled.

"We should head for the transport now, if we want to be on time."

The chauffeur of the planetary shuttle was waiting for them. When theyall were seated, he took off. Most of the trip was spent in silence, asall were admiring the beautiful view they had. Sub-atmospheric flightswere not something that was much used in the Federation. Transportershad replaced them years ago.

When they landed, they were met with T'Pau's party and a cameraman. WhenAmanda saw him, she handed him her camera and he took a picture of theentire group.

When McCoy saw him, he whispered to Spock:

"I hope it's not for the Universal Geographic's special issue onsame-sex weddings across the Federation."

Spock didn't answer but signified him that silence was expected.

They did the one-kilometre-long walk to the ceremonial ground insilence.

Then, the ceremony began. Spock hit the gong with the hammer, thenhanded it to McCoy, who did the same.

This was Sarek's cue to go to T'Pau, saying:

"I am Sarek, son of Sentok and I come here for you to unite my two sons,Spock and Sabuk."

"Spock, come near."

He did as ordered. She put her left hand on his meld points andinitiated a meld with him.

"Sabuk, come near."

He did and she used her right hand to meld with him.

// Spock, do you wish to bond with Sabuk? //

// Yes. //

// Sabuk, do you wish to bond with Spock? //

// Yes. //

Then, she used her mind to weave a connection between the two men'sminds. When she was done, she told the both of them:

// It is time. Go to the gong. //

The melds were broken and Spock and McCoy walked to the gong.

The guards began to play a rhythmic music on their drums. It had ahypnotic effect on the newly bonded.

When T'Pau saw they were ready, she shouted:

"Kroykah."

The drums stopped.

"These men pretend they are bonded: let them show us if it is the truth.Begin."

The drums started again: McCoy was feeling dizzy. The next thing he knewhe was kissing Spock, mentally begging him to be penetrated. They bothwere acting as if in autopilot. As if they had repeated this a dozentimes, Spock and McCoy took of their robes simultaneously. They are bothpainfully erect. Without a word, McCoy bent down, holding himself on acolumn nearby. In a swift movement, Spock penetrated him. He took himviolently, but McCoy displayed no reaction. Shortly after, they bothcame. Spock immediately withdrew. He waited an instant for McCoy to takethe lead. The doctor came to him and putting his hand on Spock'sshoulders, pushed him to the floor. Spock, lying on his back, spread hislegs and with the same swiftness as Spock had displayed before,penetrated him and made them both come. Then, they both collapsed.

The sand was beginning to scratch McCoy's back. He briefly wondered whythere was sand under his back. When he heard leaving footsteps, heremembered.

"Spock, did we just fuck like wild animals in front of your family and adozen other Vulcans?"

"Yes, Leonard, we did just that. It is a mandatory part of the ceremony.If we hadn't done it, we would not have been bonded."

"I'm certainly glad you told me before."

"I feared you would not want to attend, if you knew. There is nothing tobe ashamed of: all went well.

"That's why you didn't want us to have sex before."

"It was one of the reasons, yes."

They remained silent for an instant.

"Spock, if T'Pring hadn't requested the Khalifee, you and her would havedone it in front of us?"

"Yes, Leonard."

"'Boy, am I glad she did. And boy, am I glad Jim wasn't here."

"I concur on both issues."

"But he'll be pissed when he will find out we married without him."

"He most certainly will, but we could ask him to perform a Terranceremony on the ship."

"That's the best idea you had in--"

He was thoroughly kissed before he could end his sentence.

"We should get up: they are waiting for us."

McCoy tried to go up, but when he felt the pain in his lower back, helet himself fall down again.

"You did a good job exploding my ass."

"I can assure you your work was as thorough."

"I hope we didn't hurt ourselves too much: I'd hate to have to wait toolong before repeating what we just did."

"Believe me, you won't."

They both stood up and put on their robes. As their started walking witha pained gait, towards where the guests had gathered, McCoy couldn'thelp but tease Spock.

"Now I bet even you would be grateful for underwear."

Annoyed by the attitude of his bondmate, Spock replied in a tired tone.

"Yes, Leonard, I would."

The first to congratulate them was Sarek.

"You both performed adequately. The family is satisfied and will be gladto welcome any children you may conceive."

Once he was done, he immediately left and McCoy whispered to Spock'sear:

"Perhaps we should tell him that there is no way what we did couldresult in the birth of children."

Trying to be discreet, Spock decided to answer him mentally.

// Leonard, would you please refrain from making such remarks: it wasthe expected greeting from the leader of the family. //

// I like it when you speak in my mind. //

// I hope you do, because you will have to get used to it. //

"I need a drink. Do you want me to bring you something?"

"A glass of water would be nice. I will go and see my mother,meanwhile."

Even though Amanda was smiling, Spock could see she was not entirelyhappy.

"Mother, is everything alright?"

"Of course, Spock, I'm so happy for you and McCoy."

"You should call him Leonard."

"Yes. I guess I just miss human weddings: the flowers, the beautifulclothes, the ceremony."

"Leonard and I were just discussing the possibility to organise a Terranceremony on the Enterprise."

"That would be wonderful. I'm sure your father and I could come."

"Where is father?"

"I think he is over there. He is discussing with Segor about that theoryof yours."

A shiver run along Spock's back.

"What theory?"

"The one about the genetic origin of Vulcan sexual behaviour, ofcourse."

Spock would have strangled McCoy if he hadn't been in love with him.

"I see. I should better go and speak with him, then."

As he was about to leave, she grabbed him at the sleeve.

"Spock, you should have told us. Your father was really hurt by yourlack of honesty."

"My father is a Vulcan and hurt is an emotion. It is un-Vulcan to --"

"Stop this, Spock. To lie is perhaps a more un-Vulcan thing than to haveemotions. What you did was therefore, very un-Vulcan?"

Spock did not answer.

"What did you tell him you preferred to find your own wife instead ofaccepting the one he chose?"

"Mother, the past is best forgotten. I cannot change anything about it.Do you not agree that my own choice of mate was most satisfactory?"

"Yes, I do like Leonard very much. But it changes nothing to the factthat your actions were not right. You should learn from this mistake,not repeat it again. Go and see your father now."

He went to his father. When Segor saw him, he offered a traditionalcongratulation and left them alone.

"Mother tells me you are taking an interest in biochemical science now."

"Yes. This theory is most interesting. It explains many things."

"Yes, but it is also dangerous."

"I know and I told Segor so."

None of them spoke for an awkward minute. Sarek decided to be blunt andto confront Spock: he did not wish to be estranged with his son anylonger.

"Spock, your mother is of the opinion that your silence concerning thismatter had been caused by my behaviour. Is that true?"

A lie would have been easy. He decided to go for the whole truth: he wasa bonded man, now. The equal of his father. There was nothing left forhim to fear.

"In part, yes. You always wanted me to be Vulcan and I wanted to beVulcan. But my homosexuality was always there to remind me that I wasn'tfull-blooded. I did not wish to speak of this with you, because Ithought this would make me less Vulcan in your eyes."

"But I--"

"Let me finish. I know you didn't want this to happen. If Mother and younamed me Spock, it wasn't because you wished me to be like afull-blooded Vulcan, but because you wished me to be the best of both ofyou. I understand that. Nevertheless, you made me feel inferior wheneverI displayed the human half I had. Being gay was just the last item in along list of human defects I wanted to hide from you."

Sarek was speechless for one of the first time in his life. Spock waitedfor him to recover.

"I do not know what to say. Spock, I do not think that humans areinferior. Would I have married your mother if I did? I thought that asyou had chosen the Vulcan way, it was my role to encourage you to be asVulcan as you wished. Many Vulcan, especially children, have treated youas an inferior because you sometimes displayed emotions. I saw how youwanted to get rid of your emotions and I provided you with the onlytools I knew: the Vulcan mind techniques. It was my way to protect youfrom them. You do understand, don't you?"

"I know, Father. I am glad for your help, even if sometimes the curehurt more than the illness. What is important today is that I can beproud of all that I am: I am proud to be you son, I am proud to be aVulcan, I am proud to be a Starfleet officer, I am proud to be gay andfinally, I am proud to be bonded with Leonard. You mustn't blameyourself for any of these things: you haven't failed your task as aparent when I entered Starfleet Academy instead of following in yourfootsteps. My path was different, that is all."

"I know. This has been between us for many years. We should perhapsforget about the past."

"My opinion exactly."

Their faces bore as what looked as much to a smile as was permitted byVulcan decency.

Seeing that their talk was over, Sapok came nearer. He congratulatedSpock and hugged him, then left.

Even after the long explanation he had with his father, Spock was stillembarrassed to be seen like this by him. He was therefore surprised whenSarek took him in his arms. It lasted only for a second, but it meant agreat deal to him.

"Thank you, father."

Sarek answered, "There is no need to thank logic", but his eyes weresaying, "You're welcome".

When they both saw the hug from afar, Amanda and McCoy came to standbeside their respective mates.

"You won't guess what T'Pau just told me. She-"

"Let me try. She told you that your choice of position was aninteresting one, but your rhythmic abilities needed some improvement."

"How do you know?"

"Leonard, I think there are some things that Spock forgot to tell youabout your mental bond. For instance, if you do not shield yourthoughts, he can read them."

"You cheat, you're no fun."

"It would perhaps be time to end the gathering. I will ask T'pau if shewill do us the honour."

Sarek went to T'Pau and whispered something to her ear. Seconds later,she shouted, "Kroykah!"

Everyone stopped speaking and started walking towards the landingground.

// Is that all she does the whole day, shouting 'Kroykah" whenever she'sasked to? //

// Leonard, for the last time, could you please stop making fun at mypeople's - I should say, our people's - traditions? //

// Hey, my people comes from another planet, where they don't think thattwo people having sex on the floor is a wedding ceremony. //

// Sounds like a boring planet. //

The rest of the trip was spent in silence. Once they reached ShiKahr theshuttle dropped off Segor near his house, then headed for Spock'sparent's house.

Sapok went immediately home, but not without hugging everyone one lasttime.

"The poor man must be loosing his mind."

"Exactly my thoughts, father. Hugging someone in public is a definitesign of senility."

He raised an eyebrow to show his father he was joking and was answeredwith another raised eyebrow.

"I guess it's time we try a human tradition for once."

"Which one, Leonard?"

McCoy didn't answer, but when they came near the door, he tried to liftSpock and carry him over the doorstep. He failed.

"I'll show you how it's done."

Even though McCoy struggled, he was no match for Spock.

Amanda laughed as he was carried through the doorstep, shoutingobscenities, in both Vulcan and Standard.

Once inside, Spock put him down.

"Father, Mother, I think we shall retire, now."

"Spock, Sabuk-"

"For heaven's sake, call me Leonard!"

"Very well. Leonard, Spock. May your night be a fruitful one."

// Really, Spock, we should explain him. We can't have him walk aroundlike that. //

// Leonard. //

// I know. Tradition. //

They went upstairs. Spock was about to enter the guest room, when McCoystopped him.

"The guest room has a large bed."

"Yes, but it's not *your* room."

"Fine."

They went in and immediately took off their robes. Sand fell from them.

"We should perhaps take a shower."

"Yes, but I don't want to run into your parents: let's go to yourbathroom."

"There is a first time for everything: Leonard McCoy preferring a sonicshower over a water shower."

McCoy didn't answer. He went to the bathroom, stepped into the shower anactivated it. A second later, he was clean.

Spock did the same and they returned to their room.

"Where were we?"

"I think that this would be good start."

Spock took McCoy's hand and kissed it. He made a trail of kisses up tohis neck, then moved to his throat and went down the other arm.

As McCoy seemed to enjoy it, he went on. This time he started with anear and went through his face to the other ear. He lingered there,licking the lobe most intently.

Meanwhile, McCoy was caressing everything that was within his grasp:Spock's chest, his back, and his arms. He also kissed him in the neck,but the position proved painful.

He stopped Spock's ministrations by grabbing him by the arms and sittinghim on the bed. He kneeled in front of him and began to kiss his body.He started with the neck, and following no particular order, touched hislips, his eyes, his eyes, of course, his nipple, his thighs, his hands,his feet, his knees.. The only area he avoided was his groin: he did notwish for this to end so soon. He also discovered that, for each touch,he could, if he concentrated enough, feel what Spock felt. This allowedhim to find out that Spock had very sensitive neck and ears. For amoment, he focused on these parts. Spock, then came to kneel near McCoy.They hugged, caressing each other's back. Then, Spock's hand came nearerand nearer to McCoy's penis. It stayed for a moment on his thigh, whichhe sensed to be a weak spot. He took the two penises in his hands andmoved along their length. His left hand was soon replaced by McCoy'sright one and they went on. They kissed while their common fist wasmoving faster and faster. When one of them was about to come but not theother, they slowed down for an instant. Finally, when they managed tobecome more or less synchronised, they decided to let their control go.They both ejaculated on each other, making a big mess on the floor aswell.

"Looks like we're going to need another sonic shower."

"I don't think so."

Spock had McCoy lay down and licked his semen from the other man's body.When he was done, McCoy hesitated for an instant to do the same.Finally, he did it, thinking that he was having raspberry sauce. Itactually tasted more like Gazpacho, which he liked. He cleaned Spock andteased with his tong the still erect penis. To show him he wanted more,Spock put his hand on the doctor's head. McCoy sent him the image of a69. Immediately, Spock moved them into this position.

The sensations of sucking and being sucked were pleasant, but as theywere amplified by the bond, they didn't leave much control to them. Inaddition, the knowledge that it was the loved one that was here, not afaceless stranger made that they came in only a few minutes.

When he had caught his breath again, McCoy started to chuckle.

"What's wrong with this planet? Can't anyone just have sex in a bed,like normal people?"

"Obviously not."

They stood up and lied themselves in the narrow bed. Spock was lookingaround at his room. So much had changed since he lived here. Hesometimes wished the boy he was then knew that everything would be allright, that he would grow up and be a happy and well-adjusted man. Foran instant, he thought of Rutir, and of what it felt to hold someoneelse's naked body in his arms, for the first time. He pressed McCoycloser.

"You were right. Using my room is much better. It reminds me of thenights I spent here fantasizing about doing what we just did. Even whatI did with Rutir did not erase this need for more. Only now do I feel itis satisfied."

"I thought you had already been with other men."

"I have, but now I have someone forever."

"I'm not sure can hold on long like this: coming six times a day everyday, forever, that may be a little much."

"Six times? Did you masturbate this morning?

"Yes. I hadn't tried since the shuttlecraft and wanted to know if yourtip worked."

"Obviously it did. But to set your mind to rest, six times is not muchfor a Vulcan: my personal best is 22 times in 24 hours."

"Mine is only 9. I was 15 years old and tried to break my cousin'srecord.. When did do you do that?"

"Before my last Pon Farr."

"That's why you kept going to the toilets. I though you had some kind ofdiarrhoea and I wondered why I couldn't detect anything."

"I didn't think you would notice."

"You know how it is to love someone in secret. You keep watching them,hoping you're not too obvious."

"Indeed."

They both thought about those days on the Enterprise. They exchangedsome painful memories and some joyful ones, which often turned out to bethe same. Once they had done reminiscing, they felt their fatiguecatching up on them.

"Let us sleep now. We can try to better your record tomorrow."

"Wait. I must check something."

McCoy went up and went to his room to take his medikit.

When he came back, he scanned Spock.

"Nothing severe. Turn around. I just need to apply the regenerator."

When he was done, he scanned himself. He diagnosed the same kind ofsuperficial injuries and applied the same cure.

Only then, could he lie down and sleep in peace. Their sleep lastedsurprisingly long for Vulcans. For the first time, they dreamed a commondream and did not wish to leave it. They woke up at the same moment.They were spooned together with Spock on the outside.

"I see you were serious about having me break my personal record today."

Spock moved his hand to McCoy's groin.

"I could say the same of you."

They started by kisses and caresses, but soon McCoy wanted more.

"Well, there's a part of yesterday's lovemaking that I don't remembervery well. It's all blurred in my memory. Perhaps you would like torefresh my mind."

"Unfortunately, I can't remember very well either. We shall have to doit again."

"Bright boy. You do understand very rapidly."

Spock stood up and went to his desk. He emptied the bottom drawer andtook out from a secret compartment under it, a tube of lubricant.

"That's a weird place to keep it. I put my in my nightstand."

"I did not wish my parents to find it, because it would have told themthat I had a sexual life."

"Spock, there's nothing wrong with having sex, even when one is onlyfifteen."

"I had an early start."

"What do you mean?"

"I was nine when I started. So you can understand why I did not wish myparents to find out."

"I'm sure they would have understood. They are not prude people."

"How can you say that? You know them only for a few days."

McCoy showed him what he had seen the morning before, in the bathroom.

"I see. But let us not speak about my childhood, my parents or any otherunimportant thing. We have a record to break."

Spock went to the bed and started putting some lubricant on McCoy'spenis.

"It has a strange smell. Are you sure it's still good?"

"Yes. I designed the formula and synthesized it myself. It is stable forabout 167 years. "

"You designed your own lubricant?"

"Do you really think a nine year old boy can just walk around on Vulcanand buy sexual lubricant?"

"On Earth, he could."

"The smell come from the impurities: I haven't been able to filter outall of them. I left nothing dangerous or irritating."

"Fine."

When Spock was done coating the doctor's penis, he lied down on the bed.

"Give me the tube, I'll prepare you."

By the time he was able to introduce two of his lubricated digits inSpock's anus, the doctor was barely able to prevent himself from coming.

They decided that it was time to proceed. Spock kneeled on the bed andMcCoy stood up. He slowly penetrated Spock checking through the bondthat he wasn't suffering. When he was sure that no pain had appeared, hebegan moving, faster and faster. Spock was contracting rhythmically hisanus, thus enhancing both their pleasures.

McCoy couldn't hold his orgasm much longer, so he grabbed Spock's penisand masturbated it energetically. McCoy came, closely followed by Spock.He was about to withdraw, when he heard:

// Don't. Go on. Faster. Deeper. //

Which was exactly what he did.

He lasted much longer this time. He felt that Spock was about to come,then felt his orgasm, but he still went on. His rhythm was putting himin a sort of trance. With what little of his mind that was stillthinking clearly, he wondered whether it was that what T'Pau had meant.This thought broke his trance-like state and he came. They collapsed onthe bed.

After ten minutes without a word, without a thought, McCoy felt he washungry. In fact, what he felt was that Spock was hungry, but it didn'tmatter.

They stood up and they dressed. Spock gave him another one of his oldrobes and underwear. McCoy took his to his nose and sniffed it.

"It still smells like you. The last time I had an erection, thinking youhad worn it."

"I also had one, thinking about you in my cloth."

They dressed and went down for breakfast. Amanda was waiting for them.Sarek had already left for his office. She had prepared something to eatand some tea.

"Captain Kirk called earlier this morning. You must call him back."

For once, Spock was in no hurry to do so. He went on eating. When he wasfinally finished, they went to his room.

Spock sat himself at his console and saw the message from Jim: theassignment of the Enterprise had been changed and both of them wereneeded. The ship was coming back to pick them up later today.

"It seems improving your daily best will have to wait."

"We can still use you technique and go to the bathroom every now andthen."

"Excellent idea. Now I must call Jim. You should better move so he can'tsee you."

"We still have to talk about that."

Spock called the Enterprise. He had Uhura who giggled and transmittedhis call to the captain.

"Spock? It's nice to hear you. I trust you read my message."

"Yes, I did."

"We'll be there in about two hours. You should get ready."

"We will be waiting for you in the shuttle."

"OK. Kirk out."

The transmission was over.

"What will we tell him?"

"Well, the same truth we told your father: that I came to Vulcan toaccompany your during your Pon Farr and contracted the Denebian Snowdisease shortly after my arrival, and so on."

"This seems the wisest solution indeed."

"If we both say the same thing, he'll have to believe us."

"Yes."

"Damn, why does it always have to be like this? Every single time I takea vacation, there's an emergency somewhere and the Enterprise is comingto pick me up, just when it becomes fun."

"I had not noticed such a pattern."

"That's because you never take shore leave."

"I trust that thanks to your influence, I will change this habit ofmine."

"I hope so, or I'll torture you mentally until you give in."

"You would never do that."

"Are you sure?"

McCoy laughed at Spock's perplexed face. He came nearer and hugged himfrom behind.

"We should inform your mother. She'll be disappointed."

"I suppose."

They went down. Amanda was reading in the living room.

"The Enterprise will be here in two hours."

"So soon?"

"Yes. We will have to leave earlier and ready the shuttlecraft fordeparture."

"I will call your father."

She went to the kitchen.

"I sensed your talk with him yesterday. Everything went well, I suppose,given his reaction."

"One could say that. But it was an isolated act of emotionalism on hispart, caused I think by the ceremony and by what I told him. I am surethat soon he will be his old self again and the next time we disagree onsomething, we will start again to act as we always do."

"Don't be such a pessimist. You never know, perhaps you genuinelytouched him yesterday."

"Perhaps. Only the future will tell."

Amanda came back.

"He'll be here shortly."

"We should change in our uniforms. I will get them."

Spock went to the laundry and picked the clean uniform, underwear, andshoes. He also took McCoy's robe.

They went to their room and changed clothes.

"I began to get used to the robe."

"I find it more comfortable. It would however be unpractical on theEnterprise."

"That much is sure. The underwear, however."

"I had the same thoughts, but concluded that I did not wish the entirestaff to see my ass every time my pants were ripped open for instance."

"Excellent point."

They were both dressed. Spock began searching in his closet. He took outa bag, in which he put McCoy's robe and handed it to him.

"You should also take with you your underwear and sandals."

"Yes. I'll go and get them."

He went to the guest room. Spock took out another bag and packed what hewanted to bring with him on the Enterprise: his new robe, some of hisVulcan underwear, as the doctor seemed to like them. He took the datachips with his and Segor's research. He also took the tube of lubricant:the one he usually bought just wasn't as good as this one.

He shut down his console and left his room. McCoy was also done in his.They went downstairs, where Amanda was gave McCoy a microchip and aTupperware full of something.

"It's the recipe you wanted."

"Thank you."

He put everything in his bag.

"Sarek should be here any minute now. Perhaps you should go and saygoodbye to Sapok."

They went to his house. Again, they found him in front of his miniaturemodel.

"Sapok, Leonard and I must leave. We wished to bid you farewell."

The old man was visibly saddened by the news.

"Take it with you."

"What?"

"The model. I finished it. Take it with you. I'll build another."

"Are you sure?"

"I haven't lost my mind, yet. Of course, I am sure."

Spock took the miniature in one hand and saluted him with the other.

"Live long and prosper, Sapok."

"Peace and long life, Spock."

McCoy did his best to shape his hand properly.

They left the elder man.

"You'll have to teach me how to do this. My fingers just won't separateproperly."

"All is a matter of practice. I will show you a method to make practicemore enjoyable."

He sent McCoy an image of what he meant through the bond. The doctor wassurprised by the casual way in which Spock usually alluded to sex: hehad expected him to be shyer. It was nevertheless a pleasant surprise.

Meanwhile, Sarek had come home.

"I have asked for your transport to orbital station 2, where you leftthe shuttlecraft."

"Thank you, father."

Sarek turned towards McCoy.

"You are a fine addition to our family and a worthy mate to my son. Weshall meet again soon."

He looked at Spock.

"I was honoured to witness your bonding. And I am... proud that you aremy son. You are a good man."

Again, he hugged his son.

"Father, you should not make a habit of this, or people will startstaring at you like they do stare at Sapok."

"I do not care about their opinion."

He paused.

"Live long and prosper, my sons."

"Peace and long life."

He went into the house, obviously troubled by his excessive display ofemotions.

Amanda hugged them both, then hurried inside to see after her husband.

"The three of you look more and more like a human family."

"There is no need for insults, Doctor."

"So, it's back to 'Doctor', now, *Mister* Spock."

The transport arrived and they climbed inside. A few minutes later, theywere in their shuttle.

They started it after performing the necessary pre-flight checks.

"Enterprise, here is Spock. Do you read me?"

Uhura answered.

"Here is Enterprise. Hello Mr Spock. We should be here in fifteenminutes from now. Are you ready to depart?"

"Yes. We will come at your encounter."

"I shall inform the captain."

"Spock over."

Eight minutes later and a countless number of kilometres away fromVulcan, Uhura contacted them.

"Mr Spock, your shuttle is in visual range. As soon as you are closeenough, we will open the shuttle craft hangar."

"I will prepare the manoeuvre."

Another minute went by before they actually could start the landingprocedure.

As soon as they were secure in the hangar, they felt themselvesdematerialise.

They rematerialised in an unknown quarter, which obviously containedboth their effects.

Kirk was standing in front of them.

Without even a greeting, he started:

"Spock. You're a liar."

Four eyebrows went up. Kirk went on.

"I am disappointed by your behaviour. You assured me I would be thefirst one to know."

The two men were watching their shoes.

"Fortunately, Sarek was a little more forthcoming."

Spock and McCoy were now staring at Kirk.

"He was kind enough to provide us with a live broadcast of your weddingceremony."

"And you showed it to the entire crew?"

"Well, yes. How was I supposed to know? I thought a wedding would bringtheir spirits up, not their... well. I have had trouble controlling themsince then."

"You're joking, right? You're making us pay for not letting you marryus, isn't it?"

"You're right, Bones, M'Benga told me what to expect. Only Scotty,Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, and I have seen it. But I kept a tape. So, ifyou're not letting me perform a ceremony of some sort, I'll show it tothe rest of them."

"It's a deal."

"I'll leave you two now. Briefing is tomorrow morning at 0600 hours.Don't be late."

"Hey, is that a way to speak to someone who's on a honeymoon?"

Kirk shook his head slowly and went out, saying:

"Stop it, Bones, it won't work. In my mind, you're not married until *I*married you."

Once Kirk had left them, they started to explore their new quarters.Apart from the obvious - it had a very large bed - there wasn't muchdifference. They also had a bathroom for themselves. Spock went out andchecked to see where they actually were.

"There was a storage facility for medical supplies next to yourquarters. They seem to have taken that out."

"And they redesigned the partitions between the areas."

"That must have been Scotty's work."

McCoy saw the flowers.

"And Uhura's."

"We will have to thank them."

"A few years ago you told me, 'one does not thank logic'."

"Yes, but I was wrong."

"Must be my lucky day: you're admitting that you have made a mistake."

"It would be illogical to deny the evidence."

"Now that's more like the man I love."

McCoy took Spock in his arms. Together, they thought about the long waythey travelled since they had left the ship a week ago. They had finallyfound each other.

As he stood there, holding McCoy in his arms, he couldn't but be gladthat he had had such a stupid idea weeks ago. Because his potion may nothave made a full-blooded Vulcan out of him, but it gave him everythinghe ever wished for.