Hey guys, I know most of you are interested in the heavier stuff such as philosophy and politics. However, since New Year is just a few days away I think we could talk about this issue in a less than serious manner.

Most human beings love parties. Most normal people love New Year. Most conventional persons love to dance. Hanging out with friends in large crowds with loud music is synonymous with having the time of your life. I don't feel contempt for this mindset, in a strange way I even envy them.

With me it is a completely different story. I have a very strange habit, a vice if you will, it is called "thinking". I have a brain that just wont shut up. I can't smile and "have fun" when I am not genuinely having a good time. Comparing clothes, talking about irrelevant nonsense and moving like a retard animal at parties makes me die inside. Whenever I am going to meet new people I start to think about hundreds of possible scenarios and get all nervous and retarded. Naturally, I don't cause a very nice impression and I am a sad social outcast. Not that I care much about it to be honest.

Recently I have been trying to get over this problem. I have even taken profesional help. I rarely go out at all and I spend most of my free time in my computer, playing video games or educating myself about the world I live in. As a result, most people who really know me think that I am insane, problematic, stupid or a combination of any of those.

The "solution" I have found to solve this problem has been a toxic substance called "alcohol". It doesn't make me sociable or any more charismatic. I am still an antisocial bitch, but I simply dont give a shit about it. I can hang around other human beings without thinking about the most painful way to blow myself up. I know this is far from perfect. I am building a nasty reputation of a "drunk". My parents are extremely worried about me, it literally keeps them awake at night. Furthermore, my brain and liver are suffering from intoxication, with potential long term effects.

In case you have read this far and you still give a shit about this crazy guy, what are your thoughts about this? Am I really doing such a bad thing? Is there another way to get over this problems without having to kill my individuality? Has any of you faced a similar situation?

In the grand scheme of things, I know all of this is bullshit. The interactions among primates on a flying rock don't impact anything. However, if anyone feels empathy towards my situation I would be glad to read your advice. Now I said too much, I would never talk like this to anyone I knew from my country, but I guess that's the magic of the internet.

Peace.

EDIT: I wrote that stuff by being completely "fucked up" so I guess I will erase it when I'm sober . I hope I am not making a fool of myself.

When I read your post I see two things: Someone who is introverted and gets stressed for social functions (anxiety about NYE coming up), and someone who has started to use alcohol as a coping crutch.

If it seems the alcoholism is getting out of hand, then deal with that. You need skills and tools that are healthy to deal with how you feel about these things in your life. I am one of these people, too.

Don't delete this. Guaranteed your are not the only one in the same predicament.

I think that there's many, many people who experience the same feelings as yourself, but by definition they're not very visible in society because they tend to stay at home. The fact that you are able to identify and describe your situation is, in my view, a positive thing because it gives you some level of control over it.

Alcohol is only a problem if it controls you, which I hope is not the case. Thinking and acting differently from "normal people" isn't something to get anxious about, rather it should be a source of pride. I can certainly relate to the way you're thinking and I'd like to encourage you to work through it. I don't mean try to conform to how others act, but to accept that you are equally as important a person as anyone else on this planet. As long as you are not hurting others, then just being yourself is OK.

Personally, I've never put much value on extroverts and don't understand why it's considered to be a positive character trait. When everything there is to discover is right there on the surface you can get bored with someone really quick.

If this helps, then I'm pleased. If not, just ignore it as ramblings from some guy on the other side of the planet.

(30-12-2012 12:37 AM)GodlessnFree Wrote: Hey guys, I know most of you are interested in the heavier stuff such as philosophy and politics. However, since New Year is just a few days away I think we could talk about this issue in a less than serious manner.

Most human beings love parties. Most normal people love New Year. Most conventional persons love to dance. Hanging out with friends in large crowds with loud music is synonymous with having the time of your life. I don't feel contempt for this mindset, in a strange way I even envy them.

With me it is a completely different story. I have a very strange habit, a vice if you will, it is called "thinking". I have a brain that just wont shut up. I can't smile and "have fun" when I am not genuinely having a good time. Comparing clothes, talking about irrelevant nonsense and moving like a retard animal at parties makes me die inside. Whenever I am going to meet new people I start to think about hundreds of possible scenarios and get all nervous and retarded. Naturally, I don't cause a very nice impression and I am a sad social outcast. Not that I care much about it to be honest.

Recently I have been trying to get over this problem. I have even taken profesional help. I rarely go out at all and I spend most of my free time in my computer, playing video games or educating myself about the world I live in. As a result, most people who really know me think that I am insane, problematic, stupid or a combination of any of those.

The "solution" I have found to solve this problem has been a toxic substance called "alcohol". It doesn't make me sociable or any more charismatic. I am still an antisocial bitch, but I simply dont give a shit about it. I can hang around other human beings without thinking about the most painful way to blow myself up. I know this is far from perfect. I am building a nasty reputation of a "drunk". My parents are extremely worried about me, it literally keeps them awake at night. Furthermore, my brain and liver are suffering from intoxication, with potential long term effects.

In case you have read this far and you still give a shit about this crazy guy, what are your thoughts about this? Am I really doing such a bad thing? Is there another way to get over this problems without having to kill my individuality? Has any of you faced a similar situation?

In the grand scheme of things, I know all of this is bullshit. The interactions among primates on a flying rock don't impact anything. However, if anyone feels empathy towards my situation I would be glad to read your advice. Now I said too much, I would never talk like this to anyone I knew from my country, but I guess that's the magic of the internet.

Peace.

EDIT: I wrote that stuff by being completely "fucked up" so I guess I will erase it when I'm sober . I hope I am not making a fool of myself.

Ha, no erase for you now.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

Your brain over reacts when you talk to people and you start to panic. I get it. It is nothing you can mentally control. If you could, you would. You would say,"Hey brain, your being very irrational right now, please don't make thing up so I look like an idiot." But it doesn't work. Our mind freaks, and when it does, we show physical symtoms. It sucks. Bt there are some amazing medications to help with that. The past 20 years have had great studies done on anti-anxiety/depression.
Seriously, I know what you mean. I had post partum depression when I had kids. Everytime, I looked at my baby and thought about smashing it's head in. Horrible scary thoughts, for no reason whatsoever. Brain imablence, followed by moody hormones that made me a scary person. Think about medicine, not alcholism. It will make a world of difference.

“You just go where your high-top sneakers sneak, and don't forget to use your head.”

(24-03-2013 02:27 PM)CaffinatedPuppy Wrote: Your brain over reacts when you talk to people and you start to panic. I get it. It is nothing you can mentally control. If you could, you would. You would say,"Hey brain, your being very irrational right now, please don't make thing up so I look like an idiot." But it doesn't work. Our mind freaks, and when it does, we show physical symtoms. It sucks. Bt there are some amazing medications to help with that. The past 20 years have had great studies done on anti-anxiety/depression.
Seriously, I know what you mean. I had post partum depression when I had kids. Everytime, I looked at my baby and thought about smashing it's head in. Horrible scary thoughts, for no reason whatsoever. Brain imablence, followed by moody hormones that made me a scary person. Think about medicine, not alcholism. It will make a world of difference.

Anti depressants can help,contrary to some views, if you get the right one for you.
In particular really bad depression can shift fairly quickly, imo, with the old tri- cyclics.

As for tranquillizers,O.K. for a while, but withdrawal can be a very serious problem, after heavy or long term use.
It is best to only use very intermittently and to taper off slowly with diazepam.

AS a socially acceptable drug alcohol is grossly overused, causing many social problems. In this area, for health of body and mind balance and moderation are key factors.

(24-03-2013 02:27 PM)CaffinatedPuppy Wrote: Your brain over reacts when you talk to people and you start to panic. I get it. It is nothing you can mentally control. If you could, you would. You would say,"Hey brain, your being very irrational right now, please don't make thing up so I look like an idiot." But it doesn't work. Our mind freaks, and when it does, we show physical symtoms. It sucks. Bt there are some amazing medications to help with that. The past 20 years have had great studies done on anti-anxiety/depression.
Seriously, I know what you mean. I had post partum depression when I had kids. Everytime, I looked at my baby and thought about smashing it's head in. Horrible scary thoughts, for no reason whatsoever. Brain imablence, followed by moody hormones that made me a scary person. Think about medicine, not alcholism. It will make a world of difference.

Anti depressants can help,contrary to some views, if you get the right one for you.
In particular really bad depression can shift fairly quickly, imo, with the old tri- cyclics.

As for tranquillizers,O.K. for a while, but withdrawal can be a very serious problem, after heavy or long term use.
It is best to only use very intermittently and to taper off slowly with diazepam.

AS a socially acceptable drug alcohol is grossly overused, causing many social problems. In this area, for health of body and mind balance and moderation are key factors.

“You just go where your high-top sneakers sneak, and don't forget to use your head.”