It was great catching up with old friends. We were all bigger, balder, and bumpier in various parts of our body.

But what gave the heebeejeevies was walking through my old school building. I was overwhelmed with a flood of not-so-happy memories. I realized how much I didn’t like school.

You see, I was a very insecure kid.

I was very shy. I was introverted. I had pimples. I was so thin, they called me tipaklong (grasshopper). For Filipinos, my nose was large, so they called it a grand piano hanging on my face.

And some classmates bullied me. They called me names. They pushed me around. They forced me to do errands. And they made me their lifetime supply of pad paper.

In youth lingo, I was a Loser with a capital L.

But I felt all my classmates were so confident, so large, so outgoing, and so happy. They loved school.

And so I asked myself this disturbing question: What is wrong with me? Hundreds of times a day, I would ask myself this question. And for years, this question was my constant refrain.

What Is Wrong With Me?

25 years later, I know God has healed me because I don’t ask that cynical question as often anymore.

I now love myself.

I’ve grown in confidence.

And I’ve become successful!

I have a wonderful family and fantastic friends.

I’ve written bestselling books.

And my pimples are gone.

I’ve grown to my ideal weight.

My face is larger, so my nose isn’t a grand piano anymore. (Now it looks more like a church organ.)

And thanks to my friend, co-preacher, and couturier, Adrian Panganiban, I dress well. Suits, ties, the works. He makes clothes for showbiz stars and has made it his personal mission to make me look guwapo. I think he has succeeded (Ahem).

But may I be honest with you?

At rare times, I still find myself asking that judgmental question: What is wrong with me?

It’s amazing how after 25 years, a tiny part of me is still that insecure schoolboy that wanted people to like me.

My problem through all those years?

I didn’t love myself.

For decades, my heart was empty of self-love.

But was my heart really empty?

Your Heart Filled With Either

Self-Love Or Neediness

Imagine your heart to be an empty bottle.

But it’s not really empty. It’s actually filled with air.

In the same way, when a human heart doesn’t have self-love, it isn’t empty. It’s filled with neediness.

The air in the bottle is a symbol of neediness.

But if you pour water in it, it pushes air out of the bottle. The more water it has, the less air it has.

That water is self-love.

I believe the only solution to neediness is self-love.

If you learn to love yourself, you’ll push out neediness from your heart. The more you love yourself, the less neediness you have. The less you love yourself, the more neediness you have.

Would you know neediness if you saw it?

Do You Have Neediness?

Neediness, or a lack of self-love, is expressed in so many ways. Here are a few of them…

· Some, like me, become people-pleasers. They’ll be kind, gentle, and smile at everybody so they’ll be liked. Because their substitute for self-love is to be liked.

· Some achieve a lot, get good grades, and do great things. Because their substitute for self-love is to be admired.

· Some rebel, get angry, disobey, and reject everyone. Because they’re substitute to be loved is to receive attention.

· Some become victims of abuse. (Read my example later.)

As I said, I expressed my neediness in the first way—by becoming a good guy. All these years, people thought I was such a loving person. (I fooled you, didn’t I?)

But in reality, I wasn’t giving love; I was buying love.

I wasn’t giving love; I was giving neediness. Because you can only give what is in your heart.

Boy, was I miserable!

Because I lacked self-love, it was impossible to have a healthy, happy, relationship with others.

Let me tell you an extreme example…

The Need To Be Needed

Angela is married to her college sweetheart Marty.

But Marty is an alcoholic.

A few times a month, he comes home very drunk and beats Angela. He gives her a black eye. Slaps on the face. Bruises on the arm.

When he wakes up, he doesn’t even remember what he did.

Marty kneels down before a battered Angela and asks for forgiveness. He’s totally repentant and sobs like a baby.

But one or two weeks after, he gets drunk again and beats her up again. This insanity has been going on for seven years.

Many friends have told Angela to leave Marty. And she has. But Marty would find her and beg her to return. And out of love, she would return home—only to be beaten again.

But is it really out of love?

No. It’s neediness.

Specifically, the need to be needed.

Like me, Angela’s heart is filled with neediness, begging for love. Because she can’t find love, she mistakes being needed as love. And she finds it in her sick husband.

Angela’s neediness attracted Marty’s neediness. Two needy people needing each other. It was the perfect recipe for an unhappy marriage. (I’ll talk more about this later.)

I talked to Angela.

I told her the harsh truth, “You don’t really love her husband.”

“How could you say that?” she said, “That’s why I’ve stuck with him…”

“If you really loved him, and not needed him, you would have run away from him a long time ago and never went near him until he stopped drinking for at least 6 to 12 months. He doesn’t need gentle love. He needs tough love. Are you willing to give that?”

She closed her eyes and wept.

The Problem Of The Needy Heart

I’m going to expose my age again.

Remember this song by Basil Valdez? “It’s your smile, your face, your lips that I miss; your sweet little eyes that stare at me and make me say, I’ll be with you through all the way, ‘Cause it’s you, Who fills the emptiness in me…”

Lovely song. But here’s what I learned about relationships: An empty heart can only give emptiness. And emptiness is another word for neediness.

Have you heard this song by Barry Manilow? “You know I can’t smile without you, I can’t smile without You, I can’t laugh and I can’t sing, I’m findin’ it hard to do anything…”

I’ll be scared if I have a friend who can’t smile without me.

I’ll be scared if I have kids who can’t smile without me.

I’ll be scared if I have a wife who can’t smile without me.

Or have you heard this one by Mariah Carrey? “I can’t live if living is without you, I can’t live, I can’t live anymore…”

Beautiful song. But if you’re looking for a spouse, I strongly urge you to look for someone who can actually live without you—but who will choose to live with you—not because he needs you, but because he loves you.

But this isn’t that easy. Again, I must warn you: Neediness attracts neediness. A needy heart is naturally attracted to another needy heart. The reason is obvious. If you can’t get love, might as well get its counterfeit: neediness.

That’s why some women are jerk magnets. They’re attracted to bad guys because they need to be needed.

The only solution? Replace neediness with self-love.

Because you can only have healthy relationships if you have healthy self-love.

Five Ways Of Filling Your Heart

With Self-Love

Let me share with you the five powerful ways of how to fill your heart with self-love. I’ve tried them. They work marvellously.

Many relationships are suffering right now because of neediness. When you learn to love yourself, your relationships will be freed from neediness. And your relationships with become so much happier.

But I must warn you: Five is a big number. You won’t remember them all. What I want you to do is choose one thing that you believe God wants you to do today. Just one!

Then say these statements twice a day, once in the morning and once before you sleep at night!

Personally, I had to change my constant question in my mind. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I had to start asking, “What’s right about me?”

Get a piece of paper and answer that question. Write whatever comes to mind. The longer the list, the better!

Second, go to a loved one—and ask her, “What’s right about me? What’s great about me? What’s wonderful about me?”

Write down her answers.

And echo the Psalms when it says, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

When you appreciate your worth, it’ll be much easier to appreciate the worth of others. And you’ll find your relationships growing in love.

Step 2:

Fulfil Your Dreams

This actually saved me.

I wasn’t very good with Step 1, “Believe In Your Worthiness”.

But by God’s grace, I learned my mission early. I gave my first talk as a 13-year old boy and it changed my life. I suddenly knew my sacred mission.

I learned to dream about my ministry a long time ago.

But I had a hard time dreaming about my dreams—like what house I wanted to live in and how much money I wanted to earn or what car I wanted to drive. Because I felt this would be selfish. Shouldn’t my whole life be for God alone?

But years later, I learned that to honor those dreams in my heart was to honor God who gave me those dreams.

Why will this bless your relationships? Because once you honor your dreams, you’ll be able to honor the dreams of others too. You’ll encourage people in your life to grow.

Step 3:

Care For Your Needs

My wife calls me a low-maintenance husband.

I don’t need much to be happy.

A part of that is good. But a part of that comes from my past: For years, I felt guilty if I wanted something. Like it was a bad thing. I had to wrestle with that too.

Later on, I learned to be aware of my needs and meet them generously.

One of my strongest needs is to be quiet, to be alone, to read a book, to reflect. So I give that to myself as often as I can.

My other need is to exercise regularly.

And when I’m exhausted, I get a massage. My wife knows that if I want to feel loved, she’ll give me a foot massage. It beats a delicious casserole anytime.

And about money. There was a time when I didn’t like spending for myself, just for others. Again, I felt selfish if I did.

I could spend money as long as it’s for God or for others. But I’ve always had a hard time spending for my own needs.

Hey, perhaps this isn’t your problem. I know others who come from the opposite direction: All they do is spend for themselves and don’t give to God or others. Well, I believe God will pull you towards my direction. And we’ll meet somewhere in the middle!

But slowly, I’m learning. Last month, I bought a nice pair of headphones for myself. It was the noise-cancelling headphones, great when you want to sleep in airplanes. I still couldn’t buy the expensive brand that costs P5000. So I just bought the cheap brand worth P800. But still, I felt wonderful.

Being a simple person, I still have very few needs. But those needs, I try to honor whenever I can.

Go ahead. Write your own needs on a piece of paper. And see how you can honor them too.

Again, this simple act will bless your relationships because you can now serve people’s needs with a heart full of love, not neediness.

Step 4:

Relate To The Right Image of God

I’ve met people whose God is always angry and condemning. Then I’m sorry, prayer won’t help. Because you’re praying to the wrong god.

Fix your picture of God.

Read books on God’s Love. Talk to spiritual people who have the right image of God. Capture this vision.

And allow that God to love you.

Let Him whisper to your heart that you’re more wonderful than you can ever imagine.

This is one of the goals of the GodWhispersClub. If you’re not yet subscribed, log on at www.GodWhispersClub.com. You’ll get a GodWhispers Email twice a week. It’s free.

When you change your image of God, your relationships with others will change by leaps and bounds because you become like the God that you worship. If you worship a judgmental god, you’ll be judgmental too. But if you start worshipping a God of great compassion and love, you’ll (slowly) be like Him too.

Step 5:

Relate To The Right People

Remember: Needy people attract needy people.

So be careful with the people who enter into your life.

If you’re not careful, you may end up with an inappropriate number of what many authors call “Emotional Vampires”. These are people who suck out your love and joy. There are many kinds of Emotional Vampires: The Demanding. The arrogant and the self-righteous. The bitter. The unfaithful. The manipulative. Addicts. Parasites. Complainers. Critics.

Imagine your life as a three-seater couch.

Because you only have 24 hours a day, there’s a limit to the people who you can hang out with—in the same way that there are a limited number of people who can sit on that couch.

If the spaces are filled, they’re filled. Your life isn’t like Facebook where you can accommodate 5000 friends.

Here’s my point: If you’re always hanging out with Emotional Vampires who suck out your love, you won’t have time to hang out with great, nourishing, and inspiring people who can give you love.

Look. I’m not saying you should get rid of your toxic spouse or toxic mother. I’m not saying you don’t spend time with needy people. Love them! Remember that Jesus spent time with tax-collectors, prostitutes, and drunkards, reaching out to them in love. That was His main ministry. But He balanced this by spending time with his disciples and with His Father too.

So increase your time with people whose hearts aren’t filled with neediness but love. When you surround yourself with the right people, you fill your heart with love too. So look for mentors, teachers, and coaches who can bless you.

It could even be a virtual mentor.

For example, by reading my Soulfood Letter each week, you’re “spending time” with me. You’ve made me a virtual mentor. (I’m happy to be of service to you.)

Proverbs 13:20 says, Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.

Choose One Assignment From God

Now that you’ve read all five actions, pick one.

Not two, or three, or four, or five.

Just one assignment from God for today.

1. Believe in your own worthiness

2. Fulfil your dreams

3. Care for your needs

4. Relate with the right God

5. Relate with the right people

Done?

Great.

But hey, whatever you chose is still pretty broad.

Write down what onespecific action you can do today.

Love yourself, my friend.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. Get Your Miracles at the KCon! Our biggest, grandest, most powerful event of the year, the Kerygma Conference 2009, will be on November 28-29. For the first time, it’ll be held simultaneously in Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City and in the Cebu International Convention Center—via “Live Feed”. It’ll be a miracle-filled affair you don’t want to miss. For Manila tickets, go to TicketNet at any SM branch or call (02) 7259999. For Cebu tickets, call (032) 4128142.

This post is a message that needs to be spread to everyone, Brother Bo! It’s a bull’s eye.

I could relate with many of your stories, being an insecure person I too was in my school days. It was positive affirmation that allowed me to rise up. It sounded (still is) silly to keep saying all these positive things about you, to yourself, especially when you were the number one unbeliever.

But unbelief was precisely why we needed those affirmations.

And it worked (and still does), at least for me.

Other people I know have made good use of positive affirmation themselves.

To me, the most powerful affirmation is “I AM THE CHILD OF GOD!” Not only is it poweful. It is also very true (see Psalm 2:7), regardless of whatever circumstance one may be in at this time.

love this article, I will be sending it to my friends, and family….your the best bo, I always love to see what you have going on. I want to subscribe to you monthly financial blessings newsletter, but right now finances are so tight, I cant even budget the 20 dollars…but business is picking up again, more clients, means I can start investing money in better things to help my business and my heart…..

yes, i want to be in a happy relationship. and i have chosen to relate to the right God in doing the first step. you’re right bro. bo, i have been raised to believe in a vengeful and angry God. I want to know Him as a loving God. thanks! i started reading your blog since a friend forwarded to me your blog on genuine and fake love.

Bro. Bo..Great article..I’ve considered you as my Virtual Mentor..But hope to see you in the future and meet you personally..Thanks for keeping my week always alive, Yesterday I was down and out, but I felt better today reading your article..You’re articles are my therapy..Thank you so much..You’re such a blessing. God bless!

I would like to order by COD. your book….40 STORIES OF PASSION. How much is the book . If you can mail the book i would appreciate it very much. Tahnks and more power to you and all your spiritual eneavor. my address is Governor Office, Capitol, Kagawasan Avenue., . Dumaguete city

Bro.Bo, Its really a great article…Its a wake up call for me..Parang binuhusan ako ng iced water sa ulo…i realized i never valued myself for a long period of time because all i did was to give way to a one way street relationship…Anyhow i was able to wake up from a deep sleep. Thanks so much…God speed

bo,
well thanx from this article, i saved the copy so i can read whenever i wanted…you know i like your personalized interpretations your such a great instrument for everyone of us.as an inspiration for realignment in doing better and to be more loving in all our ways….i thank God, i know my only one best friend where i shared your website had read the article.God bless and more power to your innate blessings from the Lord.

THANK YOU BRO.BO for OPENING MY EYES and my mind sometimes im thinking you know me very well beacause of your messages which is very timely and very appropriate.I am struggling with this issue right now…you are right we have to love ourselves first before we can give love to others……..many thanks to you……il be starting now continue to enligthen me..

Hi Bro. Bo, thanks for the very inspiring messages and articles. I used to attend the kerygma way back in iloilo every first friday of the month. Now m here in mla m attending every sunday at valle verde and i really felt so good and very blessed. Living alone and away from family is very difficult and challenging. We have the neediness of love and care of the people around us…especially of our family. Yes, self love is very important… In times i felt down, lonely and miserable…thank you for reminding us that life is beautiful..thank you bro. bo and bro. obet..for touching the lives of many people including me… mabuhay kau..=)

Thank you kuya Bo. I learned a lot from this article. I’m in tears because i experienced this- surrounded by emotional vampire people. It was intensely painful. And, I really don’t know what to do that time. But thanks God I’m free right now and I’m slowly picking up the pieces of my life. Again, thank you. This article will help a lot.

IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT GOD AND ABIDE WITH HIS WORDS-NOTHING IS INSURMOUNTABLE! God’s promises are stated in the Bible.
ROMANS 8:31; DEUTERONOMY 28:1-8; 3 JOHN 1:2, and many more.I remember Joshua 1:8.
READERS, if you have the right God, then you must also have a Bible, read these verses. if you are interested, i can show you more verses how the right and just God loves us and blesses us.

Bro. Bo may you continually be used of God to strengthen your brothers and sisters in Christ.

i finally understood the meaning of this line. i am still single and do not have a girlfriend, but i am happy, because i belong to a community that relates to the right God and i am hanging out with the right people that are also committed in the service of God and fellowmen. i also give time to myself by playing in gigs and concerts and spend some time alone doing fun things.

i must admit that i recently got attracted to a girl is needy in every sense of the word. i spent too much time with her attending to her every needs until such time that i got into an argument with her coz’ of a simple misunderstanding. things changed from then on and i thank God that it happened. it was indeed a blessing in disguise. i must admit i miss the times i had with her now and then but i am still thankful for i now have more time for myself. thank God we have become friends again, though not as close as we once were.

thank you bro. bo for this inspiring article. thank God that it is not bad to love ourselves more so we can reach out to others better..

Reading your article is really a blessing especially working here abroad away from family and friends. I am really blessed that I had a chance to find your site. Actually I started reading your books way back in my college days. My first copy I got is “TO DATE OR NOT TO DATE”. Until now, your writings & advices inspires and encourages me very much.
Thank you for this article; this one is a big help for me & to your readers for us to know ourselves more. Thank you very much
God Bless

hi mr bo
you have encouraged me into something i have been wanting for many years…i am married…pls pray that however difficult things would be in this big decision im making..in God’s grace, things will be alright,right mr bo? esp for my children..tyvm..God bless and More Power

I’ve already done Step 5, by reading your article, Bo. Really eye-opening and inspiring. I thank you a lot for all these inspiration you bring straight to our mailbox every week, as well as the regular Whispers from God.

The only way I can give back is to pray for you and your family, as well as your continued success in touching more lives. And, of course, by sharing these wonderful inspiration to my loved ones.

I really want a happy relationships, and i want to thank you for enlightening me.
every time i attended the feast, I felt i am enligthen and i am filled with love.I know how to handle my problem, when i am hurting , i can always recall what i learned from your talk and it ease my pain.

just like some people, eh para rin akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig because I became needy because I thought something is wrong with me.. I equate not having someone in my life with me not being lovable.. But your article made me understand things and gave me clarity on dealing with relationships! Yes, I have to love myself first before I can truly love others.. Please pray for me bro. bo!

wow.. i thought i was actually loving when im with people who needs me.. im actually seeking for people who needs me.. kasi with those kind of people i feel so much appreciated.. but then tama ka bro bo.. it is not loving at all.. im actually needing to be needed.. at times na feeling ko sobrang saya ng kaibigan ko or ng boyfriend ko with their own lives.. nakakagawa ako ng away kahit di ko gusto kasi feeling ko di na ko mahalaga pa sa buhay nila kaya i just wanted to get away from them in any way possible.. im insecure tlga.. and i cant find myself worth.. grabe tong article mo bro bo.. hay.. and bro bo.. you are my spiritual mentor… and at times di rin ako makapaniwala sa mga nasasabi ko, your wisdom is infecting me.. and i wanted to share it to everyone..just the way you are sharing it with me.. or with us na laging nagbabasa ng mga articles mo.. may you be more blessed.. thank you po..

thanmk u bro Bo! u know i really hated myself since the day i was born, i hated myself for not being so perfect. I just noticed all my flaws and not my worth. after reading this article, i realized that how can i love someone when i can’t even learn how to love myself.. How can i be able to express love to others when all i think is to hate myself. all the things that u have written in this article is so so true, i can relate to it. thank u.. i have become a fan of your articles. thank u for enriching knowledge to my mind. more power. Godbless us all!

thank you bro. bo..i have made you as my mentor without you knowing it..you have made me see the wonders of GOD..though sometimes i still fall and falter, but thinking of GOD i stand up and ask forgiveness for the acts and thoughts that are not glorifying HIM…you are such a blessing to everyone.
GOD BLESS YOU.

Yup, i do consider you as my virtual mentor. thank God for you. Your articles just get me every time. Ever since i’ve been listening to you preach and reading your articles, you have made a positive impact on my life. You have helped to change my thoughts, my image of God, and the way that i look at myself.

But i know that i still have a long long way to go. I want to live the kind of life that you live. I want to have that happy family life that you have. I also grew up feeling like such a loser, with a capital L. but you are living proof that when you walk with God, you can be victorious and feel like a winner. Thank you for inspiring us each and every time! :o)

Thank you for the very inspiring article, its a very Great way to start my week… Yeah from now on your are my virtual friend and adviser.
I am away from home right now i think I feel that emptiness but through your articles I found my refuge thank you so much. I can’t talk to anyone heart to heart to where I am now but after I read your Article I used to close my eyes and talk to God, and it feels so good…
Thank you for the advises in your articles. This is a way for me to meditate also.. I think I am always doing #1, thats why i want to do the#2.
I am still on the situation of realizing what are my “Real Dreams in life” and how would i know if that is God’s dream for me. I hope I can hear the answers you are telling me (but how would I know? pls Father God let me realize it) .

May God Bless you always Bro Bro long live for your righteousness….
More power to you…

thanks Bo..this one is really inspiring..naka-relate talaga ako dito..and everything you say is the same as what Rick Warren said in his book “The Purpose-Driven Life”. i’ve finished the book already..thanks Bo for inspiring my life in many ways..it’s true that your my virtual mentor..thanks..God bless!!..:D

I can’t thank you enough for continously sharing with me your blessings especially the gift of wisdom. Your articles are always inspiring and I also love so much in receiving the God whispers the more I love God and myself which in turn helps me to love others more even those people who are very difficult to love with.

I had a beautiful image of God–that was my saving grace all these years. I am growing tremendously in loving myself and you are so right in saying that it has moved neediness out more and more. Much love and light…

Thank you very much, Brother Bo! I have been blessed with your message. I will seek and try to be in contact more with friends who will bless me and nurture me spiritually, emotionally and morally. The vampires in my college sure sucks the life out of me.

Brother Bo, thank you for ministering to me. Thank you for being my virtual mentor as you so aptly put it. You have no idea how much this article has affected me. It came at a time that I am actually questioning my value as a person and whether or not God loves me or just considers me a mistake. I am still in that state, which is why nowadays, I have temporarily halted my prayer time in the mornings. You are right. Unless I change how I view God, prayer is worthless and pointless. May I ask that you pray for me, that I can find the right God and know and feel that He loves me. Believe me, I fervently wish I can feel His love. But what I see right now is just His love for others far outweighing whatever He feels for me.

Bro. Bo,
salamat for every thing you share..like many others you are also my therapy whenever I needed an answer to all my questions or problems in life lagi ko pong nababasa sa mga article nyo what are the right things to do..Thank you, may you be blessed hundredfolds..I will pray for you as you pray for all of us..:D

I liked this post…made me realize that I have worth..During the past week i was asking myself the same question…”What’s wrong with me?”…This made me feel more worthy to love myself…thanks a lot for the knowledge you share…God bless!

Thank’s Brother Bo! Your article was really very timely… I feel like a heavy thing was release in my heart because of what I have read! Just last night I was feeling so empty and unloved!!!! Thank’s a lot, really! I feel now that I am worthy….!

Thank you very much for this article. I know for a fact that I am a truly needy person due to my past insecurities as an overweight child. Reading this article punctured my heart a thousand times, but at the same time opened my eyes to my lack of self-love. Thanks for always taking the time to enlighten us as our Virtual Mentor, you just don’t know how much you are hurting me… ha ha (just joking!) but rather how much you are helping me to accept myself and God’s love in the process. I cannot thank you enough

wow… I’m 17 and your article is
really great. Bro. Bo, can you be my virtual mentor?
I’ve been reading your books definitely two of it.. The 7 Secret of Success if im not mistaken and the 40 day Stories of Passion..
and i share it with my friends and teachers..

Our living body wants more things, true relationships. But God has spoken through Jesus Christ, His Son. This is His message: suffering is necessary. Abandon our desire for physical satisfaction in this earth. He asks that we all share in offering our lives on earth for the benefit of the other person. And because one grows in maturity to serve others, he loses interest in himself, and all physical and material things. Each one’s spiritual growth comes via service to others. Saints even suffer like Christ.
Soo self-love should not be self-centered. It should be Christ-centered and other-oriented. Amen?

Dear bro. bo,
I love your article…you’ve really addressed the problem of my marriage..somehow i was be able to identify our differences…we’ve learned a lot…the lessons are practical..after 22 years of marriage, this could be a good start for us to have a happy relationship..Thank you bro. bo for the gift of wisdom. it brings hope to many hopeless people…May God Bless you always…

Your story about Marty and Angela was just like my parents’ story.As far as I could remember,everytime my father gets drunk,he would fight with mom and hurt her.We were six children and I’m the eldest.All of us will just cry when it happens.The following day,when he’s not drunk anymore,it’s as if nothing happens,back to normal.It became a cycle.Some relatives said she should leave him but she didn’t because it will be hard for her to raise six children and she doesn’t want a broken family.
Fast forward,5 of us are married now and my parents are still together.We finished school through their efforts(he was a driver,mom was laundrywoman)and because he’s old,he doesn’t drink alcohol anymore.
Is it just neediness that kept our family whole?or my mother’s just a martyr?

” Love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself. ” says our Lord. Loving oneself is allowing God’s love to dwell in our hearts, so in turn we can radiate His Love to others by our good works , and that they may give glory ONLY to God. Without God we are nothing. In Him depends our whole being; in Him we move. He is the air that we breathe. ” Man cannot live by bread alone, but from every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord ” , says Jesus.
True, how can one smile again, ( as Barry Manilow sings ) , if God is not in one’s heart ? Or how can one live again, ( as Mariah Carrey sings ) , if living is without God ? How dark the world of a soul would be, if it does not possess the Light of Jesus, the Light that dispels the obscurity of pride and vainglory ; the Light that makes us humble again and being capable of loving others as God commanded us to do.
TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY !!!
Have a very good day everyone !
Thanks so much Bro. Bo for this sharing and for this precious space.
God bless you and your family.

this is brilliant bo! i havent realized that i am becoming the needy person already..which made me a little sad for a while there while reading the article. however, i made a promise to myself that i should take action immediately, that’s why i’m going to choose #1 first, believe in my own worthiness.
thanks bo!

Brother Bo,
Thanks fortha inspirational article you dont believe that many of us are struggling this issue like me,By reading this article i have learn that by loving yourself first is main ingridients of loving other people too.
Im selfless person,but now i am feel more confident and so much togive!
thank you more power1

Wow! This aricle is very timely or me. Thank you so much. I was feeling a bit down but ater reading this, I really felt refreshed. Thank you bro. Bo…i’m also looking forward for the Kerygma conference in Cebu next week

Good day Bro. Bo!
I’m so blessed every time i read your article. And thank GOD for using you as His instrument in giving His messages to me.
Now I’m learning to love myself and i will try to live by myself, not always depending with the strength of others. And I also prayed to GOD that my husband shall do the same, because he is so dependent to me, that sometimes I can’t breath anymore.
Thank you for teaching us to grow independently.
I believed GOD will answer all my prayers.
Thank you Bro. Bo for the past 6 weeks of teaching regarding relationships. It helps our family.
P.S. I was so blessed emotionally and spiritually after reading your book ” How to turn THOUGHTS into THINGS”
Thank you. GOD bless you and your family esp. your mom.

Hi Kuya Bo. Thanks for this article. I almost cried. I tried so hard to nurture my family, my relationships with my sisters coz family is so very important to me (we dont have a father anymore & mom is 75). But one of us is paddling away from us ( reading ur article about relationship drift). We tried to pull her back but it seemed she dont want to. So, we always argue, she dont want to be commented or reprimanded coz for her she’s right. we cant fix her. & the sad part is she doesn’t respect our mom. she dont give her love, understanding, patience & care To top it all she even exchange her daughter to a man she just met months ago. She’s becoming an emotional Vampire. Im so sad BO. pls. pray for us. Pray for her. Thanks!

1) You were specific about the practical steps to achieve self love. I will work on that. Let’s see what happens

2)Changing my image of God. Have tried working on my dreams but have not been convinced that God wants me to succeed. That has been getting in my way. Subsribing to GodWhispers is slowly revealing a different side of God. Have started to share those with friends

I do have a question, How can you do number 5 when your spouse is forbids you from allowing you to spend time with those that fill you up? when I do spend time with them its viewed as a threat to her and she then proceeds in tearing me down again.