Gallery: Charlize Theron Is A Sexy Mermaid In Vogue

As I reported on Saturday, Charlize Theron has landed the cover story of December’s issue of Vogue, and now the whole thing is available online. It’s mostly your typical fawning celebrity profile, which I realize might not be fair to say because it seems like Theron is a genuinely cool person (or is that just what they want me to think?), but come on: she and the writer made each other mix tapes. There is, however, one amusing quote in the piece, and it concerns an unfortunate run-in she had with a sexy date and some silicone cutlets:

“I was on this date and started making out, and it was moving a little further, so I realized I had to get the cutlets out,” Theron recalls. “But my bag was small, and I couldn’t fit them in the thing. Jason [Reitman] was like, ‘No way. That doesn’t happen!’ But that stuff happens to girls all the time.”

Whatever happened to the cutlets?

Theron pauses. “I may have hid them in his trash with lots of toilet paper.”

You win, Charlize Theron. That was funny. I’m going to post some really pretty pictures of you now, if that’s okay.