Who then will have my heart

I seemed to have become accustomed to the distorted belief
one should fall in love alone,
-unrequitedly.
As if my heart is only awakened by spiritual distance.
I am a defensive lover.
I must leave before I am left.
I’m indifferent to the prospect of needing another person.
But I am human.
All this flesh.
This beating heart.

I fall in love from a distance.
As an answer to the possibility of loving you up close.
This way I won’t hurt you and you can’t reject me.
I’m in control of my own heartbreak.
I played chess alone in a corner. I loved you from afar.
And when you don’t see my warmth because I hide it so well.

I break my own heart.
I belong to myself.
My heart has no name on it.
Not even my own.