Keith Stewart’s remarkable adventures usually occur near his hometown of Hyden in the hills of southeastern Kentucky, although he can be found aimlessly wandering the streets of nearby Lexington at any given moment. Before he shed his corporate casing, he worked as a certified public accountant for a multi-national company. He now enjoys less stressful work with much less pay, and blogs and writes and stuff. Oh, and he is as happy as a clam.

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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Haiku-a-poolsa

(NOT what Jay had in mind, I am sure)

On February first, my friend Jay McCoy posted on his Facebook wall that he was writing a haiku every day in February. I think it was National Haiku Month or something like that, perhaps not. I am also fairly certain that Jay invited others to do the same thing, perhaps not. I could scroll back through his posts and see for sure, but I don't have that kind of time. The point is that I took Jay's either encouraging lead or stole his idea completely and wrote a haiku for each day of the month.

I even got a little carried away and wrote a haiku or two for friend's birthday greetings. I also delved into an entirely new genre, dirty haiku. I didn't post the dirty ones, but my friend David and I have named my forthcoming book HAIKU CONFESSIONALS ON THE DANCE FLOOR. Watch for it at your local adult bookstore soon!

Looking over the month's work, I am quite proud of myself, not necessarily because I think the work is great but because I stuck with it and completed the task. I'd like to share the thirty poems with you. Hopefully, you will find some funny, some nice, some naughty, some touching, and if you find some bad, keep your mouth shut. :-)

1.

Sunglasses block rays
Like lies covering the truth
blocking out the light.

2.

February Two,
The day belongs to groundhogs.
Why? I have no clue.

3.

Of all my vices,

the one I can’t do without

is my love for you

4.

Get your game face on

It’s game day in Kentucky

Big Blue Nation, rise.

5.

Brady and Manning.

Madonna and K. Clarkson.

Football or Gay Pride?

6.

Fog covers the hills,

hiding the winter bleakness,

like make-up hides flaws.

7.

Welcome to our church.

God loves you just as you are.

Unless you are gay.

8.

To put it simply,
I'm sexy and I know it.
Now you know it, too.

9.

I'm a ripened plum:
tempting and aromatic.
Juicy, but worth it.

10.

St. John's Bay track suit.
If good enough for Ellen,
then I will buy two.

11.

Big floppy brown ears,
always happy to see me.
Best spooner ever.

12.

Outside my window
I hear him calling to me
The owl is on watch.

13.

I'm over the top.
I am entirely too much.
I want to be more.

14.

We're doing it wrong.
One day to celebrate love?
Should be every day.

15.

The flames never leave
They just smolder deep inside
Waiting to be stoked.

16.

I used to want fame,
But now I'm fine with my lot.
Unless fame calls me.

17.

I don't hunt or fish,
I'm Blue more than Red, but I'm
still Appalachian.