Shira Adler: Resolve, Reflect, or Both?

As you know from my earlier blog post, each January, I put myself through a semi-formal three-step process. I call it the “3Rs,” in which I reflect on what I’ve accomplished, learned, and completely dropped the ball on; I resolve on which areas to focus in the new year; and, probably the most difficult, I “release”—that is, shake off—the small hurts, frustrations, and negativity accumulated over the year so that I can truly make a fresh start.

Ever curious about how others approach being their “best,” I asked women in my networks how they approached a new year.

Who She Is: Shira AdlerWhat She Does: Founder, Diva Mama, LLCHome Base: New York City

Shira Adler is an award-winning writer and speaker and the Mind-Body-Soul Expert for Manilla.com. Shira also is a voice-over artist. Shira’s company, Diva Mama, LLC, offers programs, products, and practices to empower your Inner Diva.

The best way I used my time this past year was by learning to relax more, dream bigger and pace myself better.

How do you approach a new year—do you resolve, reflect, or do both?

I am a firm believer that reflection best supports manifestation so I look forward to every New Year as an opportunity to review and continue my soul’s growth. Taking a look back over the year allows me to crystallize areas that I wish to improve, advance, or initiate. But rather than making declamatory resolutions, I write and adjust an affirmation list on a more regular basis throughout the year. I take stock of my wishes and dreams on either a monthly or quarterly basis. This way I can hold myself accountable for whatever incremental and actionable steps I can take on the road to realizing all that I’ve written over the course of a year. I relish the time leading into the New Year as for me, reflection invites inspiration.

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

The best way I used my time this past year was by learning to relax more, dream bigger, and pace myself better. As an entrepreneur, I felt I was in a state of constant flux between wanting to do more and needing to push myself less. The biggest challenge for “fempreneurs,” I believe, falls in finding that delicate and elusive balance between life and work (listed according to priority). So I spent a good amount of time last year working on ways to develop a better consciousness that involve listening to my inner cheerleader more than my inner critic, and saying “no” once in a while. I even scheduled time and activities that served my desire more than my to-do list.

Thanks to the shift I made, I am now developing a book and a one-woman cabaret show that I was supposed to perform several years ago when life changes as a single mother necessitated an interstate move with my then, two small children. My dream of performing a cabaret show was packed up with old photo albums and CDs, but this past year I took the time to dig them up. Sometimes the most creative parts of ourselves cannot surface if we don’t give them time and space to be noticed. No matter what your age or situation, when you allow yourself to hit the pause button once in a while, you are creating space and possibility to realize those dreams.

What is something you are better at today than you were a year ago?

I am better today at maintaining and exuding patience. The pulse of society may be beating at a steadily increasing pace and certainly the non-stop speed of social and digital media and the internet can make you feel like you’re losing a race. But I have learned to let some of that near “freneticism” wash over me like a gentle wave without dragging me down in the rip tides. Learning the art of patience definitely comes more easily when you have a tremendous amount of life experience to reflect upon.