Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Respect for Malaysian Drivers - blogspot version

Much has been said about us Malaysian drivers. Many perceive us as rude, bullies and totally inconsiderate. Hey, I have to disagree! Do you know it takes a lot to be a Malaysian driver? C’mon, you have to see beyond the negative surface in order to see how good we are. Let me tell you why…

First, you definitely gotta respect us due to our excellent financial planning. We are a bunch of stupid modern slaves working our ass off everyday and getting paid peanuts for it, and yet, we can afford a car. No car no can do, particularly in KL. Those fellas who get their balls squeezed and get paid RM1,300 a month also can drive a car. Everyday rotikosong + aiskosong, no problemo, as long as I have car. See, we are damn good in financial planning.

Secondly, you gotta respect us for our level of patriotism. High fuel cost? Increase in toll? Not freaking problemo. Also must thank the goament for reducing road tax by about RM10 a year. Damn a lot weh! Can you imagine how many rotikosong + aiskosong some fellas can get from that RM10? We understand we have to pay more for petrol and pay higher toll for some semi-value highway cos our king has to live in a new palace, one joker has to play batuseremban in space and our AFF semi finalist footballers (wooo, semi-finals, don’t pray pray) have to train in London. Expensive petrol and high toll… still drive. See, how fu*king patriotic we are?

Who said we Malaysian drivers are stubborn? We are damn flexible I tell you! Just look at the way we refuse to be bound by the rigidity of law. Green, yellow or red, just tekan the accelerator. Whether it is double line or dotted line, just signal and pusing. Emergency lanes? Cheaper road tax doesn’t mean we can’t use it right? Yellow line? Just park only… No line means can double park. See, our flexibility and ability to think outside the box in order to be the first at a junction or cross-road deserves much admiration.

So what if our flexibility fails us, and what if those fellas pull you over? Fear not, we are a resourceful bunch. With our impeccable negotiation skills, rest assured, everything will be settled instantly and immediately. Besides, those fellas are damn helpful I tell you… that’s why when you you “bolehtolongkah?”, they sure tolong you wan, cos they’re a helpful bunch. See, we are damn resourceful, always know how to get out of trouble. Besides, “settle sini” usually means got discount… ahh, see, good financial planning can be seen here.

Who said we Malaysian drivers are selfish? We are damn kind and warm towards each other. Remember those times where we are stuck inside the yellow box? Just look at the way we all squeeze inside so that more cars can freaking join the stop-in-yellow-box-crowd. Damn thoughtful right? All goes to show that we want to be closely knitted to each other. We will try to be as close to the car in front of us so that the car behind can also make it into the yellow box, a true demonstration of selflessness. I mean, we also do not want to be seen as aloof and distant from each other, right? This is why no matter what speed we are travelling, we always tail each other closely.

Courage is also a very significant characteristic of a Malaysian driver. People always say the roads are not safe, damn freaking true! Just look at the amount of 'land-mines' present on our roads which appear in the form of pot-holes. Try running through it at high speed, like the one in the pic, your car may overturn I tell you!. Besides such 'land-mines', there is also the presence of 'dark-beings' on the road, in the form of Urukhaisala Mat Rempits . If one has a weak heart, one may not be able to take it when 20-30 of such dark-beings riding next to you. Worst, sometimes, they may even be heading towards you from the opposite direction. Indeed, we Malaysian drivers are a courageous bunch.

Last but not least, we Malaysian drivers are probably the most patient people in the world. Just look at the way we brace through the jam. We love to listen to listen Morning Crew and despite gotcha calls are getting boring, we still like to listen to them, that’s why we are love to get stuck in the jam early in the morning. Do we take the public transport as an alternative? Of course not! Late for work? No problemo. Besides, "Biarlambat, asalkanselamat", did we not learn this during our primary school days?

So there you have it. The true nature of us Malaysian drivers. Next time some fellas tell you Malaysian drivers are terrible, ask them to read this post. They really need to look beyond our surface in order to see how much effort we put in to bring the best out of us. If only people will understand us, then we will never be stereotyped as rude, bullies and inconsiderate.... Sigh.

huei - those who brakes every 5 seconds and swerve into your lanes without warning are actually doing you a favour... they are training your reflexes. in fact, it's a mutual thing, they train your reflexes, and i am sure you also train some other ppl's reflexes sometimes... hahaha!

economist - aiyah, i modified it mah. when i post it to the star then, it was a 'controlled blog'... now, it's slightly more crude. of cos, cant be too crude cos pastor is reading hahaha!

Hello Zewt, good blog.Have u ever been to Myanmar? They have cars like ours, right hand drive, but they drive on the right hand side of the roads! Like in America, but without the left hand drive cars! Totally confucious...Also, no motorbikes are allowed in the capital, Yangoon.. how bizzare?Anyway, as for Malaysian drivers, Penang drivers are totally the worst. If any of u are on the Penang island, pls take the becak.

angel - weekends are pretty tied. but thanks for keeping an infant blogger like me in the loop.

the (one and only) angry medic - ahh... meetings and "wanna cum"... certain dodgy huh, but it's not what your medic mind is thinking. And thanks for comparing me with patrick teoh... haha... niamah is his copyright, wouldnt wanna take it from him.

dienasty - do tell me when you summersaults or do a cartwheel when you cross the road, i will take a pic and feature that in my blog haha !

huei - you over take them, they will be very warm to you and keep close behind you... just to keep you safe haha!

russ - yo bro, how you doing? wow, right hand drive on right side of the road. taking a left corner would be a challenge. haha... penang drivers... cirnelle, heard that?

Joel - Yo! couldnt access your blog. hope to do so though... somehow. welcome to my blog... hope to see you here again.

Narrowband - hahaha,... check out the comments... you will know the answer... but i might as well tell u here... they are the one who are kind enough to train your reflexes... so that your brain will not in an idle stage for too long... keep your concentration level high...

Last week Thursday (22 May) I was travelling towards Mid Valley from PJ Cycle & Carriage building. For that short distance, I was stuck for 2 hours. The problem was further compounded by inconsiderate users who use emergency lanes and then joining in the traffic when they reach the end lane. In normal social interaction, Malaysians are known for their politeness but when we’re on the road, we are different animal all together. This is where the ugly traits of human rear its head - selfishness. Me first, i don’t care about you.It’s not like you will get to your destination faster by weaving in and out of the emergency lane. You’ll probably shave off few minutes but what if there is emergency vehicle wanting to use that lane? It did happen on that night. The emergency lane was jammed as well! I pray for whoever is in the ambulance will reach the hospital in time.