This is a great article. I was a little confused by the description of the rooms, but the picture cleared that up. A small nitpick: When the doctor asks if he wants to terminate testing, shouldn't it have a question mark?

The ice cream is wonderfully 173 flavoured with just a hint of playful creep, the syrupy drizzle is the Tic Tac Toe weirdness, and the fluffy whipped cream is the playfulness that just surrounds the piece. Not many articles make me crave some ice cream but this is definitely one of them, welcome to my favourite articles you sunovabitch.

Probably my favorite one out of the 30 or so I've read today, and I've been reading some pretty good ones. Definite +1

The only way I could like it better is if there was perhaps a little bite-size tidbit of information to give our minds a path or two to jump on when asking "why?" on a lot of things…. for example, it's stated that attempts to remove it have been unsuccessful, but it's not really clear to me why they would be unsuccessful. The end makes it sound like the "thing" can be hurt (although I'm sure it's more complicated than that) and also alludes to the fact that canines set the thing off too. In terms of a more creepypasta style I could see it being left out, which is fine, but on the scientific side it's curious that they'd mention all of these things at the start of the report and just never say anything about it again. The ending also sort of bothers me in that it's very creepypasta but not very report-like.

But hell, I'm not even sure if it's a complaint or not. Maybe it's fine. I'm just musing. I really love it but it just feels like it could be a little more epic than it already is.

edit: I guess I could sum up my opinion in a bit more concise phrase, as imagined coming up from a researcher on the project. "It does all this really weird shit, but we had a hockey game to get to so instead of extensive testing we just threw some D-Class at it and let them run around, said 'huh, ain't that something', then left."