Despite near universal agreement that ‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’ is awful in every way that a movie can be, and is in fact the worst reviewed movie Michael Bay has ever made, even worse than ‘Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen’ which even he admits is terrible, the fourth ‘Transformers’ movie made $41.3 million domestically and a total of $121.6 million worldwide. Yesterday. It made that yesterday, Friday. One day.

This pace is actually 42 percent higher than the last ‘Transformers’ movie, which had an opening weekend of $161 million worldwide, and should easily be enough for the biggest domestic opening of the year so far, topping the $95 million ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ made.

All for a movie that no one seems to like. In fact everyone seems to hate it. About the nicest thing I’ve seen anyone say is that no one raped them while it was playing.

Bay gets treated like he’s some kind of douchenozzle hack, but after seeing this movie, I have a sneaky suspicion that he’s just very in tune with the filmgoing marketplace. His movie scripts seem like they’re written in crayon, but then honestly you have to realize that anyone still paying 14 bucks to see a movie in a theater is probably a little retarded to begin with.

Plus you can’t help but notice how INSANELY geared toward an Asian audience this movie was. Half the product promotions were in Chinese characters (bottled water, juice box drinks), half the movie was set in Hong Kong, one of the transformers was a f*cking Samurai, and the main character struggle (besides alien robots threatening to destroy Earth) was an overly protective father who doesn’t approve of the boy his daughter is secretly dating. Doesn’t get more Asian than that.

In a nutshell, as terrible as this movie was, it was crafted to be commercially successful.

After hearing that dollar theaters still exist in this country, and living in NYC my entire life where 14 dollars for a ticket was about the average price 5 years ago, AND having the theater closest to my house only charge 5 bucks on Wednesdays, I am never paying more than that to go to the movies ever again. Or until it closes down (judging by the look of it, I expect it to close down any day now).

So what you’re all saying is, no matter how low or how high the price of the ticket is, no matter how long, how dumb, how awful this piece of shit is, or how much you hate Michael Bay and his brand of film-making, and how much you like to bitch about it, that and the fact that 120 millions worth of people have seen it, you still went and see it.

“you have to realize that anyone still paying 14 bucks to see a movie in a theater is probably a little retarded to begin with.”

You are. You all are. Even the reviewer who mocks it, inciting moviegoers to see it by themselves, ironically or not. You are part of this problem, so hate yourself.

@Dick Fromage I’m not saying that I’m not retarded, but I didn’t pay money to see this. My wife is a GM at a theater, and we have to preview the digital copies a day before they release. I was dragged to this one kicking and screaming and still hadn’t expected it to be 5% as bad as it was.

Yet the next day 3-d, DBOX (the vibrating seats), Transformers tickets sold out at a whopping premium $18 a pop. So watching lower income families of 6 show up and pay $100 BEFORE concessions to see what basically amounts to a 3 hour cgi voiceover cartoon with a couple of actual people occasionally stitched in is mind blowing.

I went to the Cinemacon this year where they were talking it up like it was the biggest movie of the summer and I refused to believe it. But I don’t have my finger on the pulse, and I realize that. I’m not their target audience in any way. If I wasn’t getting to see movies on the big screen for free, I would literally never show up to a theater for any reason, ever.

@BTTS: Yup, the Kent. That place is the reason I saw Expendables 2 seven times. Every Wednesday after work for the first 2 months it was in theaters I’d just get off the Q train a block away from the place, then just take the bus home afterwards.

In all fairness, 90 percent of the negative reviews can’t be taken seriously. It’s sad when you can’t rely on accurate movie coverage, and instead have to put up with rabid anti-Bay fanboys trying to one-up each other’s useless, “clever” reviews.

Gary Oldman was right about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, though. Those aren’t critics. They’re 90 nobodies that happened to have developed a profitable racket by starting the Golden Globes and putting them on TV early in the 20th century and as the first major broadcasts of the calendar year.

I remember last year how Pacific Rim lost to Adam Sandler at the box office and thought that this is a sign of how America views giant robot movies now thanks to Michael Bay. So apparently we as a society view Guillermo Del Toro as a worse filmmaker than Michael Bay. Fuck this; I’m going to Austria.

Made the mistake of trying to watch PR. Basically some guys form various FX shows, Sringer Bell and Asians doing…I still don’ know what the fuck they were doing. Which may be how it was sold to the studio.

@indieguy I can’t imagine Trans4mers being any better or worse that Pacific Rim. Just another movie made for the lowest common denominator. Actually not sure how they can afford to go to the movies, you’d think that all their extra money goes towards lottery tickets.

Not going to lie, I’ll probably go and pay to see something good, then sneak into this afterwards just to check it out. Like with the shitty Amazing Spider-Man 2, I’m just too morbidly curious and can’t help but abuse myself in this way.

But this weekend I’m going to have some beer and celebrate the 30th anniversary of Bachelor Party. Unlike Transformers, that’s a dumb-as-hell movie I can’t help but love.

All the ways you wish you could be, that’s Bay.
He looks like you wanna look, he fucks like you wanna fuck, he is smart, capable, and most importantly…he is free to make shitty cgi circle jerks every summer.

Wow, there are a lot of jaded moviegoers. I enjoyed the film for what it was. Michael Bay has never failed to make an entertaining actionpacked film. I guess what I don’t get is why so many adults spew their schadenfreude over a film aimed at children. Its almost like you’re feeling sour because you’re outside the demographic, and most of you probably slammed this film so hard in production that you’d be embarrassed to eat your words anyway.

I’ve got no problem with stupid action movies. I LOVE stupid action movies. But TF 2 & 3 were sooooooo long and boring. I mean in the last one I fell asleep by the time the giant snake robot tried to constrict the Sears tower or whatever

Your “but it’s aimed at children so you can’t criticize” logic is fucking dumb. I think it’s a problem, and I’ll criticize movies like this to my heart’s content, when a “children’s movie” is defined as one that contains blatant objectification of women, pointless violence and intellectually devoid stories. Why can’t a “children’s movie” be something substantial instead of being a reductive piece of shit. This is simply a dumb movie for dull people. That’s cool if you’re part of that audience, it’s your right, but don’t get your panties in a twist when people with actual functioning brains think what you like sucks.

I haven’t seen it, but my father in law took my son to see it. My son who’s 8 years old critiqued it as “yeah, it was okay I guess, I kind of fell asleep during the last 30 minutes, so what did you do today?”. So basically, the movie is forgettable and boring to an 8 year old to the point where my few hours without him were more important than baysplosions.

I dislike both directors (Thin Red Line sucked, IMO). I hated Michael Bay for Pearl Harbor, because that was supposed to be good. But if people are going to pay to see something that is supposed to be terrible, I have a hard time blaming Bay for it. He’s like the Taco Bell of directors.

I think it made money because it was the worst reviewed Micheal Bay movie. Its like if someone posts a video of the worst train wreck ever, sure its terrible but you’re kind of curious to see what that level of terrible looks like. Its the same reason people watch those “Faces of Death” videos or Adam Sandler movies.

I find it utterly fascinating at the upset people feel over a giant robot movie, that is based on an old kids cartoon… A cartoon that had only ONE purpose, and that was to sell toys to kids. THAT’S it… that’s the only reason this fandom exists at all.

I agree but in a way I feel like a Soccer fan trying to get Americans to care about soccer. Who cares what people think is entertaining. But as you said it was created for kids at heart like myself : )

If anyone saw the trailer where Optimus rides a giant dinosaur and DIDN’T think that every 9-15 year old (plus everyone who still thinks like a 9-15 year old) with money would go see this, they haven’t been paying attention.

The problem with Bay’s Transformers movies comes down to the edict from Steven Spielberg that they be about the humans. If you watch the first one, it tracks the general arc of his alien movies, complete with what Vince has named the “Spielberg Face” by the idiot protagonists.

If they were about the Transformers, I have no doubt these would be far more entertaining and half as long because they’d be nothing but action. That’s Bay’s problem: any time things aren’t exploding, his movies stop, turn around, bitch slap the audience, and do so for way too long.

How about we give Michael Bay some credit for moving the fucking medium forward? Yeah, the storytelling is shit, but chalk that up to what someone said earlier about the Asian influence and him wanting to appeal to a broad audience. American audiences are no longer the main demo for big spectacle filmmaking anymore. It’s all Asia.

The IMAX imagery was absolutely spectacular. The rendering of the transformers this time around…especially the 12K IMAX images…especially on Lockdown’s spaceship…was incredible.

And didn’t all you virgins complain that there was not enough about the Transformers themselves during the first 3 films?

I thought the whole “transformium” angle where Tucci was building his own transformers was actually new and interesting. And if you think “transformium” is stupid…just remember Avatar was nominated for Best Picture, so shut your face.

And how about we also give Bay some credit for not giving a fuck about political correctness. In this world of baby boy apologies and sickening grovelling from the greats like Gary Oldman…Bay’s refusal to listen to critics or anyone really…but still push himself forward from a technical stand point…is refreshing.

Oh and by the way…when the credits rolled there was a huge applause break in my IMAX theatre. HUGE!

*fan boy crying* “WHY DOESN’T EVERYONE HATE MICHAEL BAY LIKE I DO?!”

*fan boy crying* “THE NEW NINJA TURTLES DON’T HAVE BEAKS!”

*fan boy crying* “HE’S GOING TO RUIN THAT FRANCHISE TOO EVEN THOUGH THE 2ND TMNT MOVIE HAD THEM DANCING TO A RAP FOR NO REASON AND THE FIGHTING WAS ALL COMEDIC SCHTICK AND THE 3RD ONE IS STILL TO THIS DAY TERRIBLE!!!”

@Hot topato Yes for no reaosn lol Was there a scene where they all stood around, heard Ice’s improvised “ninja rap” beforehand and choreographed those moves to bust out at his dockside concert? Methinks nay.

I think the problem is expectations. For me, an entertaining, turn-your-brain-off action movie needs three things. Likable cast, humor, and quality-shot action. The reason I hated the last 3 films was not because they had no plot or character arcs. I knew they weren’t going to have that. My problem was the characters were completely unlikable and the humor was downright insulting. This movie, however, filled my requirements. I liked the characters, I chuckled at the humor, and even if the plot was almost non-existent, I must give some credit in that visually, this film is breathtaking. I saw it in IMAX 3D and it is the best experience I have had with the format. I won’t spoil the scene, but at one point, the sound was so absorbing that the whole theater vibrated. Since the film used IMAX’s new camera, the detail was incredible. For me, the film lived up to exactly what I wanted, a fun action film. I enjoyed myself, so stop bashing it because its not art. Stop expecting things like a plot from Michael Bay and check your out-of-proportion expectations at the door. Just go in expecting explosions and you will enjoy yourself.

My brother in law dragged me to this as he LOVES these things. I have no problem with TF1 and 3 as big, dumb, splodey action motions. I liked the first one and the 3rd one. But 2 was an incoherent mess and Age of Extinction was worse. It felt like I was having a 2 and a half hour stroke with a seizure thrown in.

Just shit flying everywhere, plot points thrown around, abandoned, ignored and then made up. Felt like 3 movies had been spliced together by an 11 year old who had 3 cans of Jolt cola. Which might explain why my brother in law likes them, he has ADHD, so these things probably make perfect sense to him.