ReaganBook—the hip, social-networkin' conservative's answer to Facebook that popped up not even a week ago—is dead. After being flooded with pornography and profanities of all sorts, the "Facebook for Patriots" was forced to shutter its doors. But don't worry. There are still plenty of places where the internet-minded neocons among us can feel right at home.

Here are some of the internet's foremost conservative alternatives to all your favorite websites. Know any we missed? Let us know down below, comrade.

You should contact me if you are a skinny woman. If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you've seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you've realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren't speaking, and you don't have to listen.

Tagline: The Tea Party Community is a conservative hub for sharing ideas, unifying a movement and organizing strategies to keep the United States of America in her rightful place as the greatest nation on earth. "We The People - Don't Tread on US!"