How much to tip wedding vendors?

I was talking with a reader recently who is getting married soon. Somehow we got on the conversation of tips and which vendors are supposed to get a little extra for doing their jobs and which just get paid for, well, doing their jobs.

Over the years I’ve heard everything from “no one gets a tip” (hello, that turkey roll wedding) to everyone right down to the guy who mowed the grass as your reception venue the morning of should get a little something extra (my sister is nothing short of generous).

I believe it’s somewhere in between. Take, for example, my florist. We’re not getting married for 10 months, yet she’s already gone above what most friends would do to help (more on that in the future), not to mention what someone with whom you only have a business relationship would do. Unless she replaces my peonies with carnations, she would get a tip.

The man who vacuums the ballroom the morning before the reception, on the other hand, probably will not.

My colleague, whose good friend is a wedding DJ, says half the time his friend gets nothing, the other half of the time he gets an average of $50 and the reader who is getting married has budgeted one thousand dollars to split (albeit not evenly) among all her vendors.

If you look online, you’ll get tons of mixed messages on wedding tip etiquette. So, I ask all of you former brides, grooms and industry insiders: which of your wedding vendors gets tipped? And, if you are going to slip them something extra, how much should that “extra” be?

Here is a list of the possible recipients. How much would you tip each one?:

Band/DJ

Caterer

Florist

Hairstylist/makeup artist

Officiant

Person who is provided by the venue to assist you on the bridal party the day of.

42 Responses

Not on the list but someone else who you might think of is the bar tender at the cocktail hour/reception. I know of a couple situations where guests were tipping the bartender and the host (father of the bride) was offended. Another situation where a note was up at the bar telling guests not to tip the bartender as the hosts for the evening had already done so. In another case at a wedding, a guest asked if they could tip the bartender and he said he could not physically take the tip from her but he pointed to a cup behind the bar and said she could put something in it.
In general, great question that I would like to hear some feedback on too!

I’m so glad you asked this question! I am getting married in a month and I have no idea what the etiquette is for tipping. To be perfectly honest, I am already paying these vendors so much money I can’t imagine giving them a tip on top of it. The only person who has gone above and beyond what I expected is our DJ but he is being compensated for everything he has done for us. I would consider tipping him since he has been so great but I’m not sure about tipping the other vendors. Since we are in the home stretch our budget has tightened considerably. We certainly don’t have an extra $1,000 for tips. The vendors already have all of our money!

In my experience, I tipped the officiant, the DJ, and the limo driver. The caterer already included gratuity in the final total.
I think it also depends if the vendor has their own business or works for a company. If they own the company, you generally would not tip?

#1, tipping the bartender should always be done. You never know if that person is being paid a party fee by the venue or if they are getting minimum wage and tips. A local Lark Street restaurant owner offers his upstairs as place to have receptions and charges whomever is throwing the reception a large gratuity. Most would assume this was going to the staff working the party but instead he pockets 80% of it gives the party staff little of that money. Usually the bartender doesn’t get tipped because most just assume their $250+ gratuity was going to be given to those who worked the party.

Kristi, I didn’t realize those are some of the suggested people to be tipped! This is a good post to put out there. I feel like if you are going to tip some of those people on the list, then you would have to tip everyone. I would have a hard deciding who deserves and who doesn’t.

I just got married two weeks ago and we tipped some and not others. We tipped the DJ $100. He played all night long because we had a cocktail reception and wanted to get the party going right away. None of this 3 hr dinner stuff. We tipped the florist because she a friend of my wife’s. We had a cigar roller that did the wedding for free because he was a friend of my brother-in-law. I think everyone at the wedding tipped him. That was about it for tips. Besides the bartenders. That goes without saying.
Another thing…if you go to an all-inclusive resort for your honeymoon…tip. Thy say they can’t take tips but they will. You just have to be discreet about it. And these people work their tails off.

Band/DJ/Organist, etc., bartender, Officiant, Limo ~ when does tipping stop? You’re already paying for services and then a tip on top? I think I would only tip those you naturally tip as I mentioned above. I guess you would have to see at the wedding who you feel went above and beyond ~ there have been times I haven’t expected to tip someone, but then end up doing it.

Only people we tipped were the Limo drivers and Bartenders (my Dad was the same way as Jen said above – wanted no part of having guests tip at all so he tipped them in advance and told then in no uncertain terms they were NOT to put tip jars out – of course he was the same way about the dollar dance – over his dead body would he allow us to do that)

Our caterer had built in tips to his contract for the waiters/waitresses – read your contracts to make sure if you want to tip you aren’t doing it twice

We tipped the musicians, officiant, person in charge of our event, and a few servers who were exceptional. It never occurred to me to tip the florist. Perhaps I didn’t think of it because our florist is known for being overpriced, but, honestly, it never crossed my mind. Is it typical to tip a florist? I would have tipped the person who did my dress alterations but she was difficult during my last appointment and did not deserve anything extra. I sent our photographer a gift certificate after the wedding. The officiant was limited in what he could accept as a tip because he was an elected official.

I got married in June of this year. We tipped the photographer $100 (he stayed literally till the bitter end, well beyond his time), the DJ $50, my hair stylist $40 (for my hair and makeup only, the other girls gave her tips for theirs), $75 to the bartender (he had to make a trip out to get more liquor), $200 for the waitstaff (crew of 8-10), and $100 for our officiant. For the girl who helped me out the day of, I got her a necklace, earring, and ring set on sale for about $100 (diamond and pearl…was on a super sale at JC Penney). We didn’t do a limo, and the florist was literally around the corner, so it wasn’t a big drive time for them to deliver the flowers, and the caterers set them up.

I think our tips were about average; certain vendors will certainly expect them more than others: for example, the cake and florist are a product provider, and usually don’t get tips unless they truly do a lot extra. Photographers, DJs, caterers, etc. provide a service and a tip is based on your experience with them. We had wonderful experiences with our vendors, so we gave them extra, but don’t feel like you should tip someone who has done a poor job.

I forgot to mention…the church staff was wonderful, so we had our photographer take several shots of the interior and exterior of the church because they didn’t have any professional shots, and gave those files and wedding favors (candles with personalized matches) to the cleaning crew, pastor, and secretarial staff at the church as a small thank you.

Im getting married in 3 weeks and still havent figured out who to tip and who not to tip. Here’s what I was thinking:
-limo driver–yes tip
-florist-no tip ( Im dealing with the owner of the company)
-caterer-20% is built into the contract -no additional on top of that
-DJ-yes tip either $50 or $100
-photographer–dont know? Im dealing with a company with 2 people and they are the owners?
-officiant–we are getting married at our reception location and officiant is charging a hefty sum to provide the service –so no tip?

I think it depends on how good of a job the vendor does and what’s already included. I was married at Saratoga National and we were told not to tip anybody that worked the wedding. Gratuity was included in the price. I’m sure my ex husband tried tipping the bartenders anyway becuase they definitely worked hard that night. We tipped the limo driver but nothing over the top. We literally had only a couple miles to drive one way. Tipped the DJ who catered to exactly what we wanted and stayed later than originally planned. Tipped the hair and makeup people. I believe we tipped the florist and photographer (Matt Ramos, incredible). We knew the officiant personally so I think my ex husband gave him a gift instead of a tip.

I just don’t understand when it became standard to tip people to do the job they were hired to do? These vendors have standard fees to work for you. When they set the price, they know they are doing a wedding which will take many hours and have set the price accordingly. If a band or dj is hired to play at a bar they don’t get tipped by the bar owner. They aren’t going to charge you any less to play at your wedding with the assumption that your tip will make up the difference. The waitstaff is tipped by the restuarant or caterer because it has apready been added to your bill. See the 18% or more service charge? that includes your tip to the waitstaff. So all you are doing is double tipping some of these people.

Tipping is definitely a major part of the day, and different people do different things. It is important to keep in mind that some services already factor in the “service” so a tip may not be completely necessary (i.e. cake/flower delivery/setup); for things like this, service fees are added such that no tip is really expected.

If you are married in a Church, the officiant should be tipped above the donation you make to the parish. Any performers for the ceremony (singer/pianist) should also be tipped. You should assess these tips based on the level of involvement that you have with these individuals.

Most photographers/videographers these days offer packages that buys their service for X hours. I would advise against tipping photographers if you go with a package like this. Same thing goes for the DJ/band.

I saw someone comment on bartenders. You need to be careful with this because many catering/banquet halls charge you a hefty gratuity on top of your food bill. Your banquet manager should be able to account to the dollar how much of the gratuity you are paying will be going to the staff. On top of that, remember that most of your guests will tip bartenders per trip to the bar.

A small gratuity should go to the banquet manager, as he/she will be coordinating with your vendors on your day to make sure that everything appears seamless to you. (This is never included in the gratuity charged by the banquet hall)

Limo service should be tipped the standard 15% above the bill.

Bottom line is that you really want to look at what you’re already contractually obligated to pay and determine what of that is for service (i.e. what you would tip for). If you feel that it is not enough for the job that was done for you, nobody will decline any extra gratuities for exceptional service.

My ex-wife and I paid for everything up front. On our wedding day, everybody owed us. We tipped the priest and both the altar boys. We had opted for the fifth hour with the DJ because we didn’t want to see people ‘passing the hat’ to keep him after the standard four hours. Funny thing is that almost at the end of that fifth hour, the DJ came up to me and asked who would be paying the extra $125 for that fifth hour. I kindly informed him that we had paid him for that three months prior. I can’t help but wonder how many people he had tricked with that one. Needless to say, no gratuity there!

I tip everyone! Well everyone involved in the evening not the supporting services i.e. maintenance crew who sets up and breaks down the event unless they jump through a rig of fire for my entertainment.

Gotta agree with kvp. (Funny we were just talking about tipping AC?). They’re doing their jobs….and I think tip jars on counters are tacky. Going back 27 years, I have no idea who my father would have tipped – if anyone. He took care of every penny! Thanks, Daddy!

Offer a donation to the clergy or the person who performs your service.
The photographer is usually on the job from your house to close to the end of the reception.
Tip him or her. The limo driver can make or break your wedding and reception.Tip them.

I know gratuity is included with the caterer for ours, but I’m guessing we’ll be tipping for exceptional service… which is usually how I think of tipping in general, besides the standard 20% at a restaurant. Our photographer is my mother’s cousin who is insisting on not charging us, but she’ll be comped some way whether she likes it or not. And the staff at our reception hall already gave us a great deal as a result of our original date being double-booked and have provided phenomenal service thus far… so I’m sure we’ll be tipping the day-of coordinator there and anyone else who dazzles us :-)

Here is a list of the possible recipients. How much would you tip each one?:

* Band/DJ – $50
* Caterer – none
* Florist – Tip whatever you are comfortable with, but realize they have a huge profit margin!
* Hairstylist/makeup artist – $25
* Officiant – Most churches ask for a donation to perform the ceremony, again comfort level applies here.
* Person who is provided by the venue to assist you on the bridal party the day of.- none
* Photographer/videographer – none, another vendor with a high profit margin
* String trio/quartet/organist – tip similar to band/dj
* Limo driver/car service – $40

Hopeful – I guess I started thinking if anything maybe I should tip Josh.. I don’t know if they split the fee since AC has the overhead but Josh is the expert who is helping us… still not sure the answer :) obviously i’m not a very good at tipping etiquette. only people I have ever tipped in my life are waitstaff, bartenders, hotel maid, and my hairdresser.

– Limo drivers.
– Valets are the reception site.
– Officiant (it was our church priest, so we actually just gave him a gift)
– Organist (because he did extra rehearsals for our cantor)
– Bartenders (we had an open bar, so we didn’t want us guests going into their pockets at all. We went to the bartenders before the cocktail hour and told them we’d take good care of them afterward if we didn’t see a single dollar go their way.)
– Maitre D (they did EVERYTHING for us and the bridal party. They earned every penny and things definitely wouldn’t have gone so smoothly without their help)
– DJ
– Hair stylist/make-up artist

Kristi, I don’t receive a tip at every wedding I perform. I also don’t recall getting less than $100. I’ve had past brides and/or grooms come up to me afterwards and ask me how much is appropriate. I leave the decision up to them.

They understand I don’t just show up and “push play”, there is alot of prep that we do. Granted, it’s not the same as a photographer or videographer, resepctively.

No on tips me for my work. Seriously, I can’t imagine tipping your vendors. You hired them for a fee and are paying them a considerable amount of money. The bartenders, etc. are employees of a vendor and usually are tipped by your guests (yes, even with open bar, I always leave a buck for a drink as a tip). It has always been customary to tip your officiant since they usually charge no fee or a nominal fee for their services. I notice that most of the DJ’s that have responded to not expect a tip, but appreciate it when one is given, which is appropriate. I can’t imagine tipping a florist or a cake baker.

I generally use the owner rule. If the person providing the service is the *owner*, then I don’t tip. If the person is an employee of the person/company I hired, then I usually tip about 20%. (And I do this with everything, though weddings are on the brain for me right now!)

I occasionally make exceptions to this – for example, years ago my stylist in high school owned her salon (well, co-owned), and I would tip her, because she had been doing my hair for years, since before she owned her salon.

1. Peonies are what I want too :)
2. Why don’t you just ask if it’s included? For example, someone mentioned the gratuity is included already for the caterer, then you don’t need to tip again. As for hair stylists; the tip isn’t included. Is the bar gratuities included, if not add it. I suppose that’s a good way to start. I don’t think they need extra if it’s already included. It’s like dinner parties of 10 or more when they already add it in…

As someone who has been a professional wedding planner in the past; tipping is a very sticky issue, but something that always comes up (just as you saw, it’s hard to find reliable guidelines online anywhere).

Depending on what your wedding day is like, there may be a lot of people involved you aren’t thinking about.

If your cocktail hour/reception is taking place at a country club/banquet hall/hotel, you will most likely have an onsite coordinator/banquet captain/maitre d’ taking care of you. That person should be tipped if they have provided a great day for you. You can choose to give them an amount and ask them to split it amongst the staff or ask for their suggestions on who to take care of. The amount truly is up to you, and anything is appreciated.

For the remainder of your day, most couples do tip the officiant and other vendors such as limo drivers, DJ or entertainment, florist, photographers and videographers. Anyone else that takes part in your day that made YOU feel special should be thought about – stylists/make up artists, valets, head servers, etc.

Yes, you have hired these people to do a job. But if you feel that they have truly made your wedding day a smooth and enjoyable event, let them know.

In all cases, a tip or gratuity or service charge (especially for your reception) is likely already included in your cost. It is important to read through your contracts, as in most cases, very little of that ‘gratuity’ actually makes it into the hands of the people helping make your wedding a success.

The hardest question, of course, is HOW much? Most of the weddings I have handled in the past (all have been in the Capital Region) have used the following ranges:

Sha-del, while it is true that a small percentage may go to the wait staff – at $125/ head for 100 people, even 2% of that would be a $250 tip. For a wedding that small you are only going to have 4 servers so that’s $75 each for about 4 hours work.. I think that is sufficient.

While most churches ask for a donation or have a set fee, the officiant does not receive it. I have a friend that is a priest and was really suprised when he told me that the majority of the time he receives nothing. To me the person you are asking to make it all happen deserves a tip – and they (priest, minister, JP, whatever) should be invited to the reception along with a spouse if they have one. Don’t forget the organ/piano player or soloist also if provided by the church.

Ridiculous! Most of these people are sole proprietors and shouldn’t be tipped – meaning the $ goes right into their pockets. It’s not like a waitress that earns a lesser wage on speculation that they will receive tips. IMO Tipping is getting WAY out of hand.

I am a bartender at a very elegant rest.recently i was asked to work the service bar for a wedding. party of 65-70 people. open bar from 3-11. I gave excellent service and was tipped generously.the waitresses passed apps. i cleared them up including glasses etc. they served dinner i too was asked to clean it up and bring to kitchen, cake and coffee was then served and cleaned that up as well all the while these waitresses dissapeared after each course, and in the end i had to split all my tips with THEM! shouldent thier tips have come out of the gratuity?keep in mind we all make 8 dollars an hr.