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Category Archives: Excellence

Why do so many people avoid making a “mid-career” course change, avoid switching companies, jumping to new industries, starting their own company, or even avoid moving to a new department within the same company?

Fear.

They probably won’t admit it, but the fear shows in their “I can’t” phrases (excuses):

“I can’t afford to start at the bottom at this stage of my career.”

“The only thing I recognized at that company was the restroom sign. Everything else was foreign. I’ll never survive over there.”

“The learning curve is way too steep! I’m not a technical person anyway, so I’ll just stick it out in this department.”

“I may not like what I’m doing, but at least I know everything there is to know about this job. I’d have to start at ground zero over there.”

“I was surrounded by a bunch of kids just out of college. I can’t relate to them. I definitely don’t understand what they’re saying.”

What if the “I can’t” phrases were replaced with “I can’t wait!” phrases:

“I can’t wait to dig into a new industry!”

“I can’t wait to learn how these new machines work!”

“I can’t wait to exercise my curiosity again!”

“I can’t wait to forgive myself for not knowing everything!”

“I can’t wait to understand the perspectives of a new generation!”

“I can’t wait to grow and stretch!”

“I can’t wait to give myself permission to fail…every day!”

“I can’t wait to bring my experience and talents into this new arena!”

“I can’t wait to make a profound difference in a new field!”

“I can’t wait to surprise myself!”

I don’t remember who said it first: “Hire the attitude, train for skill.”

Who would you rather hire? The candidate who seems scared, confused, and overwhelmed…or the candidate who CAN’T WAIT to learn, who CAN’T WAIT to start, who CAN’T WAIT to become a valued contributor in your company?

I’ll take the “I can’t wait” candidate every time.

Fear is a normal part of life. But, courage… Courage is what happens when you decide to act in the face of that fear.

When you can’t wait to explore, can’t wait to challenge, and can’t wait to learn, you’ll be one step closer to harnessing your fear and embracing your courage.

By the way, adopting the “I can’t wait” mantra is a good idea at any stage of your life.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to request that for those of you where Phoenix is your final destination, you remain seated to allow those passengers with connections to other flights to make their exit as quickly as possible. We apologize for our flight delay and hope you can help us with this situation.”

What happened next was truly amazing, and a little inspiring.

But first, a little backstory.

We were on a full flight from Orange County to Phoenix. For me, the same flight I take home every-other-week. After we’d all boarded by group, and dealt with the overhead bin space getting filled to capacity, everyone was seated and buckled-in. The Captain came on, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Captain. We’re waiting for a maintenance check and some paperwork to be completed. I should have another update in 15 minutes.” And so, it began…

The Captain came on every 15 minutes to let us know that there was some progress, but that we weren’t ready to leave the gate. Luckily, this process only lasted an hour (I’ve seen this type of delay last a lot longer), and then we were ready to depart.

As I Iooked up from my movie (hey, I suddenly had more than the usual 54 minutes for this flight, so I was pretty settled-in to a nice movie even before we took off), I could see people around me checking their phones, assessing the delay time, and trying to figure out if they could still make their connection in Phoenix.

Other than ordering my standard Cran-Apple beverage, I didn’t pay much attention to anything but my movie until we were on final approach. Noise-cancelling earbuds sure are nice.

That’s when the request came: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to request that for those of you where Phoenix is your final destination, you remain seated to allow those passengers with connections to other flights to make their exit as quickly as possible. We apologize for our flight delay and hope you can help us out. Please ask your neighbor if they’re connecting and if they are, let’s try to do everything we can to help them get off the plane and make it to their connection.”

As we taxied, I asked my neighbor if he was connecting. “Yep, I’m heading to Des Moines.” I overheard a few others were headed to Minneapolis. One couple was heading for Albuquerque.

A plane full of passengers who’d basically ignored each other for the entire flight were talking and strategizing about how to help the “connectors” get off the plane. The conversations were happening all around me.

The true test came when we came to a complete stop at the gate. Would this new-found camaraderie lead to a change in the normal “airplane exit” behavior? Indeed, it did.

Row by row, the “connectors” were identified and shuffled to the aisle. We didn’t know anything about these passengers, other than their status as a “connector.” It turns out that some of them had stowed their bags in overhead bins that were many rows behind their seat (remember the full flight, full bin issue). This meant that their luggage had to be retrieved and shuttled forward through a very crowded plane. No problem. The requests were carried back, the bags identified, and then quickly shuttled forward by passing the bag from one passenger to another. An amazing feat of cooperation.

The “connectors” were exiting, bags in hand. Cries of “Save travels,” or “Good luck,” were heard all over the plane. As quickly as the exit process had started, the last of the “connectors,” who happened to be seated in the last row, made his way off the plane.

The exit aisle was empty, and we all sat, looking around to make sure we hadn’t missed anyone. The plane was still about two-thirds full.

The flight attendant came on, “That was amazing! Thank you all for helping your fellow passengers make their connections.” Satisfied smiles and little nods between passengers acknowledged what we’d just accomplished.

I don’t know if everyone made their connections, but I do know that they had a fighting chance because a group of people they didn’t know banded together and got them off that plane.

Scan the news and you’ll find examples of this happening every day. Complete strangers coming to the aid of other strangers, sometimes risking their lives in the process.

There are countless groups of strangers who come together to serve another, less fortunate, group of strangers. They may not make the news, but they make a difference.

For those brief moments, strangers become neighbors. They become honorary members of our family. Our focus is on solving the problem, rendering aid, lending a hand, or merely providing comfort.

We love them as we love ourselves.

It doesn’t matter that we don’t know the people we’re helping. They need our help and that’s all we need to know.

Chaos is easy to create. Eliminate judgment, eliminate priorities, and you’ve set the stage for a good dose of chaos.

Chaos is seductive. It gives the appearance of action while preventing forward progress.

All the planning, all the preparation, all the foresight…none of it will prevent chaos when we give it control.

Chaos provides excellent camouflage for mediocre results.

After all, how can I be held accountable when all around me is chaos? If I’m able to deliver any results amidst all the chaos, I’m a hero. It doesn’t matter if my results are of the highest quality or even the desired quantity.

Look around you. Is your work environment chaotic? What about your personal time? Chaotic?

Is all this chaos creating a positive environment for the changes you want, or is it sapping energy and stopping progress?

The secret to chaos is that you own the choice. You decide how chaotic your life is. You have the power over chaos, even when it appears that chaos is in control.

When you choose your priorities, choose what gets your attention, choose what to ignore, and choose what to eliminate, you take back control from chaos.

Be careful…

As you consciously take steps to eliminate chaos, you will be held accountable for the results you should be producing, instead of the results you sneak past all the chaos.

In the end, living in chaos is easier than being truly effective…probably why so many people choose it.

We’re taught at an early age to seek permission. At the most basic level, permission is a great defense against chaos. Imagine if every kid did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. For that matter, imagine if every adult did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Chaos would result.

We seek direct, indirect, and implied permission. We operate within the bounds of what our cultural traditions permit. We stay within what the law permits, at least most of the time.

The permission of others surrounds us. It shelters us from responsibility.

The big challenge comes when we start asking ourselves for permission. We look for a direction that fits within our comfort zone. We seek our own okay to try something new. We can imagine doing the impossible, but the easiest path is to deny ourselves permission to try.

When we can’t get permission from ourselves, we look for it elsewhere. We ask our friends and family. We read articles, blog posts, and books. We listen to podcasts and speeches (TED talks come to mind). All is an effort to find someone who approves.

We wonder if anyone else is thinking the same things. What would they do? How would they handle this?

Permission’s power is immense. Without permission, our next indicated step is a mystery. The un-permitted transforms into the impossible before our eyes. “Hey, nobody else is doing this thing, so it must be a bad idea. Let’s bail.”

I’ve read many times that each of us is the product of the five or ten people we interact with the most. If this is true, we’re really the product of what those five or ten closest people permit from us. We grant each of them the power of their permission, often without realizing it.

What if those five or ten people, out of concern for our safety, or possibly their own comfort, don’t grant us the permission we seek? What if their collective box of permission is too small for our life’s goals to fit? Should we find another five or ten people? Maybe. But, that’s not the real answer.

The answer lies in realizing that the permission we seek comes from within.

Our ability to visualize the future, and see ourselves within that new reality is the change that’s needed. Once we find the courage to consider and see that future, permission for growth and new challenges comes naturally.

Will this be easy? No way! This requires a commitment to personal responsibility. You won’t have anyone else to blame, or forgive, when things go wrong.

You’ll be living a life without the foundation of outside permission. Your internal permission will become that foundation.

The permission we seek from others must build upon our own internal permission, not the other way around.

“It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.” —Grace Hopper

What advice would you give to your 25-year-old self (or whatever age is about half your current age)?

For me, that was late-1992. I’d been married for four years. We had a two-year-old daughter, and our newest daughter had just arrived. We’d purchased our first home in 1990 (at the high-point in the market before a 5-year down cycle). I was about two years into my first management job, working in the healthcare industry.

Don’t change a thing! You’re about to be blessed with 25 years of awesomeness. You may not realize it while it’s happening, but trust me, it’s going to be amazing! You will face triumph and tragedy, hardship and happiness. Take lots of photos and videos so you can remember just how small your kids were and the things they used to say. You’ll get a kick out of the photos of yourself when you actually had hair and it wasn’t all gray.

Take time to write about the things you’re experiencing, what you’re thinking about, and what’s motivating you. These things will probably change as you get older and you might appreciate seeing where your thinking started compared to where it is in 25 years.

Be sure that you include the words, “Have Fun” in as many of your mission statements and plans as possible. These words are easy to forget while focusing on the day-to-day dramas that you will inevitably let drive your life.

Seek out mentors, and be a mentor to others. Find ways to serve others while never thinking of how you’ll be “paid back.” You’ll do a pretty good job at this, but it’ll take you many years to get started, and those are years you’ll never get back.

It’s okay to ask for help or admit that you don’t know everything. “Knowing everything” and getting the highest score in all your classes may have brought you straight A’s, but trust me when I tell you that you don’t know nearly as much as you think you do. You never will. Here’s a corollary: when you think you’ve thought about every angle of a problem, or come up with every contingency in considering a new strategy or idea, you haven’t. The only way you’ll ever approach a full understanding of a new strategy or idea is to get lots of other people involved. Have the patience and humility to do this on a regular basis.

You are surrounded by the love of God. You need to take the time I didn’t take at your age to realize it. The signs of His love are all around you. Stop and listen. Stop and look. Just stop. What are you running from? It’s going to take you another 20-plus years to realize this unless you follow my advice today.

When you look at starting that new home automation business (it’s a long story), remember that the most important question in any business, especially small businesses, is who is your customer and how will they find you? The next most important question is why should this elusive customer come to you for your service or product? Until you can answer these questions, you’re wasting time (and money) on everything else.

Realize that just about everything takes longer than planned. As you make progress in your career, initiatives that you think should take 3-6 months to complete will actually take years to fully bear fruit. Practice looking at things on a longer horizon.

Read more fiction, especially science fiction. It’s a great way to declutter your mind. Of course, books come on paper in your time and we have these new devices that make reading so convenient. Don’t let that deter you.

I recently heard this, and it’s something you should consider…you can always go back to the museum. What do I mean? Most people go to places like museums, theme parks, other states, or other countries only once. At least, that’s their plan. With that in mind, they try to cram everything into their “one and only” visit. Their visit becomes a long checklist of things to do and things to see. Instead, approach your visits with a plan to return again someday. Focus on the few and leave the rest for your next visit. Be present and let go of the checklist.

Bonus advice: You’ll have trouble with that patience and humility thing, but embracing these will be your key to happiness. There is no checklist. Life isn’t a race. Life isn’t a destination. It’s a journey and an infinite opportunity for experience.

Realize that you aren’t the one holding the compass and you’ll find more joy than you ever thought possible.

“On your marks!”

“Get set!”

Most starters wait about 1.4 seconds after the “Get set” command to fire the start gun.

The silence freezes us in time. We listen for the first hint of sound from the gun. Breath relaxed but held. The faint sound of a heartbeat in our ears.

We visualize our next move even as that second moves slowly in the distance.

Everything has led to this moment. Everything is this moment. All the training. All the drills. The intervals. The stretching. My coach’s advice. All my doubts. All my hopes.

What will the next second bring? Will I exit the blocks cleanly? Will I stay within myself to the finish line? Will I run my own race? Am I good enough? Can I dominate?

I love starting lines. A quiet eternity of 1.4 seconds plays out for all to see.

You can learn a lot about yourself in 1.4 seconds. What you say to yourself is critical. Are you asking questions or making declarations?

Imagine asking what the next second will bring and giving yourself nothing but answers. I will exit the blocks cleanly. I will stay within myself to the finish line. This is MY race to win. I’m definitely good enough, in fact, I’m amazing! I will dominate!

When it’s time to deliver, time to start your race, time to show what you’ve got…that’s when the questions must exit your mind.

Questions at the starting line raise doubt and inspire needless fear.

The gun fires!

Go run your race.

Photo Credit–Unsplash.com, Braden Collum—why this photo?

I looked for photos of a bunch of sprinters in the “set” stance. I found a few, but none grabbed me. This one gets to the heart of the matter. It’s just you in the blocks, alone with your thoughts. I also focused on the baton. Although we run alone, most great things are created by a team. We must be prepared to make a smooth hand-off when the time comes.

Uncle Lou, our March Madness Bracket Master and Chief Referee, sent an email to our group with “Mistakes Were Made” in his subject line.

What a great subject line, especially from our referee!

It let us all know right up front that things aren’t perfect, and it revealed the one thing many of us avoid admitting at all costs: mistakes.

Mistakes can be the first step toward that other really bad thing in life: FAILURE!

Mistakes and failures. Even more powerful in our lives is the fear of making mistakes, and experiencing failures.

Fear is a good thing. It keeps us alive. But, it can also stop us from taking action, changing course, making corrections, or dumping one idea in exchange for another (possibly better, but maybe worse) idea.

Imagine if you wrote an email every day, or maybe just once a week with the subject: Mistakes Were Made. In this magical email, you’d describe the areas where you made mistakes, describe the failures that had happened that day or that week, and spell out what you learned.

As challenging as writing this email might be, once it’s written, send it to your boss. And then send it to the people who report to you.

Does this little challenge strike fear in your heart? That’s natural. You should do it anyway. By admitting your mistakes, you’re letting your boss and those who report to you know that you are human. You are vulnerable. You don’t have all the answers.

None of us likes to admit to our mistakes or our failures. But, the act of admission frees us from the fear and other emotional baggage that we often carry when we make mistakes.

Acknowledging our mistakes and failures is the first step toward forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness lies on the opposite side of our fear. Its power against fear cannot be underestimated. A forgiving mindset, especially toward ourselves, opens us up to real learning and improvement.

I remember learning to water ski. After a while, my brother and I were pretty good skiers. We could go for miles and miles slaloming, jumping across the wake, and throwing up huge rooster tails without falling. That was nice, but our dad had a different view. He used to say that if we weren’t falling, at least occasionally, we weren’t trying to get better.

The trying was always as important (maybe more important) than the result. Dad wanted us to always be improving, so in his way, he was asking us to welcome the mistakes that led to better performance.

It’s clear that mistakes will happen. They come with the territory if we’re pushing our limits and getting better.

I sat in front of a pole vault coach on a recent plane ride. Overhearing his discussions brought back memories of my vaulting in high school.

I had no idea I’d become a pole vaulter when I went to the first track practice in my sophomore year. The coach told us to go run a green (running around all the grass in the school, maybe a mile) as a warm-up. I didn’t know anyone on the team as I started my warm-up run. Suddenly, a group of guys ran up behind me and asked what my event was. I said that I didn’t know, but I was a pretty fast runner so I figured I’d do one of the running events. Looking back now, I really had no idea.

Immediately their response was, “You should be a pole vaulter. It’s the best event out here!”

My response, “I’ve never vaulted before,” was met with an even quicker response of, “No problem, we can teach you…it’s easier than it looks.”

So, by the time we got back from running the green, I was a vaulter. When the coach called my name and asked what event I was trying out for, I said, “Pole vault,” like it was my plan all along.

Fast forward a year or so. I was stuck at 11 feet for the longest time. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t clear 11’ 6”. We were blessed to have a pole vault coach, and he recommended I move to a pole that was a foot longer and rated for a bit heavier vaulter than my actual weight.

Moving up to the next pole is quite an adjustment. It feels completely different. Everything is off from what you’re used to. The run-up needs to be adjusted to accommodate the additional height of the pole. Plus, you have no idea how the pole will respond on your first jump. In a worst-case scenario, your step may be off, the plant goes poorly, the launch is compromised, and the pole might spit you back, instead of taking you into the air. For a high school kid, that’s a lot to consider.

In practice, I never actually took any jumps with the new pole. I merely worked on adjusting my run-up to get the plant right. As our next meet, against Warren High School, approached we decided to bring both my old pole and the new, longer and stiffer pole. I remember the bus ride to Warren, wondering if I’d have the nerve to jump with the new pole in competition.

Warren had the “new” rubberized track and runways (standard nowadays). The rubber runways added bounce and speed to my approach. This was the perfect time for me to get on the new pole.

My coach’s advice was to block out any negative thoughts (always good advice, by the way), focus on a smooth approach, and nail the plant. He said that if I relied on my technique, the rest would take care of itself, and I’d have no problem making my first jump.

My warmups were over and I still hadn’t actually vaulted with the new pole. The plan was for me to take my first attempt on the new pole, and if it didn’t go well, then use the old standby pole to clear a height.

My opening height was usually 10 feet, just to establish an opening. We decided to pass to 11 feet since our competition was good and we might need to win with fewer attempts. Pole vault competitions are won by the vaulter who goes the highest with the fewest number of total attempts on the day.

I passed at 10, and then 10′ 6″. Other vaulters cleared their opening heights. My tension mounted as 11 feet came up. He gave me the sign to pass that height as well! So, I did.

Finally, at 11’6″ I took my attempt. My heart pounded in my ears. I didn’t hear anything else, except for my deep breath as I readied for takeoff. My run up felt great. I focused on hitting my plant perfectly and blocked everything else out.

The plant was perfect and I felt a sensation I’d never felt when vaulting. There was a noticeable pause in the takeoff and then a sudden lunge straight skyward.

As I twisted at the top of my vault I saw the crossbar whiz by and still I was climbing. I had skied over the crossbar by at least two feet! Everything slowed down and I reveled in amazement that I was higher than I’d ever been before. I caught myself celebrating in my mind before realizing that I needed to let go of the pole and prepare for my landing.

I fell backward toward the pads in slow motion. All I saw was that crossbar sitting there, motionless, as I cleared my opening height with a pole I’d never used before that day.

The cheers from my fellow vaulters (my team and the Warren vaulters) and my coach were deafening. The height I cleared wasn’t high (even by 1983 standards). But, everyone knew that I’d just catapulted (literally) to the next level in my vaulting career.

“You flew that vault! You could have easily cleared 12’6″ or even 13′!” my coach yelled as he patted me on both shoulders.

We decided to pass at the next two heights and come back in again at 12’6″. Another height I’d never cleared in my life.

On only my second vault of the day and my second vault on the new pole, I easily cleared 12’6″. My new personal record.

I don’t remember what place I finished that day. I think we swept the top three spots in the vault and collected all the points from that event for our team.

It didn’t matter to me at the time. Overcoming my fears, leaping to a new level, delivering for my team, and creating a new launch pad for future improvement was more important to me than my place in that day’s standings.

We are being formed throughout our lives, whether we realize it or not. We face opportunities for failure every day. Opportunities to let fear win, for status quo to take the day.

Overcoming the mental terrorism that only we can inflict on ourselves is the key to finding that new level. The new levels are there, waiting for us to arrive.