"Thus I was comfortable to them - but a stranger to myself. That 'self' was pushed so far down behind my facade she had nearly perished, suffocated under the weight of my duplicity." - Patricia Raybon in "My First White Friend"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

endings are also beginnings

many transitions are happening all around me. Shauna moved out of her apartment and began her journey back to Colorado with her family yesterday. tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. last week, i finished my first year of graduate school. and this is the first time in life where i have lived far away from family, friends, and community. its time for a new beginning.

this blog that started over 2 years ago as a type of correspondence between Shauna and i was a quest for us to find our voices. and i'm happy to report that both of us are no longer mute. Shauna has finished her graduate program and in the process begun her own blog. i found the voice necessary to declare my desires and be a part of the transforming power found in Mars Hill Graduate School. and now that i've been out here a year, i've had a taste of change, but realize it is only the beginning.

i've tried to manage this blog on my own after i moved to Seattle and it became apparent that Shauna and i didn't need to "correspond" in this format any longer. we have had plenty of face to face communication carpooling to and from school and at shared dinners with both of our families. but looking back, i've only published 17 posts in the time that this has been a solo endeavor. clearly, my heart wasn't ready to go at this alone. however, as this week of transitions has reminded me, endings also mean beginnings.

so, this is the ending of No Longer Mute, the blog, and the beginning of my own journey, alone. now that Karl and i are in Seattle by ourselves with our two children, its time to find more than my voice. its time for me to find myself all over again. the upcoming few years is the beginning of a season where i am not bound by familial norms, religious obligations, or social expectations. who and what i become and what i do is no longer dependent on fitting the mold created by my history. i have a chance to discover what it means to be a 32 year old woman who is married and has two children, who attends graduate school...but what else i'm excited to discover.

as the past school year comes to a close, friends are gone, and so are the safety nets. i'm looking forward to learning how to fly on my own. i anticipate much discovery of my own self, my own soul, and what it means to be a family unit, dedicated to creating a life that we choose for ourselves.

good bye No Longer Mute. what began as a joint endeavour could not be sustained solely. thank you, readers for your commitment to seeing, hearing and joining in our journey to find our own voices. i hope you will continue following Shauna on her path at http://www.thejourneyunknown.blogspot.com/

Followers

What Krista's Reading

NOTHING!!! I'm on break!!!

Lyrics Krista Loves

"The breeze can only be when she overcomes the heat. Our hearts can only shake when there's risk that they could break. Yeah it's a chance that I will take..." NeedtoBreath, Looks Like Love"I'll build an altar with the rubble that You've found me in and every stone will sing of what You can redeem..." Point of Grace, Heal the Wound