Media royalty, gone to the dogs and a ruined sex life

This week’s feature on me in the local paper’s business section is a great improvement on last time. It doesn’t quite paint me as the next Martha Lane Fox or Michelle Mone but it does give a reasonably clear account of my business.

If you missed it, it talks more about my work training companies to write in plain English than it does about social media marketing. I guess the editor took a view that it’s more niche – after all, there are bucket loads of social media consultancies in London. Mine’s different. Seventeen years’ experience of running a business plus ten years in corporate employment means my clients benefit from a wider marketing perspective.

Last time I was in the newspaper my photo was on the front page, to the right of the main headline in a column titled something like ‘What’s inside’ with small print mentioning me and the page number. That would have been quite nice, had the main headline (right next to my face) not screamed out ‘Doctor ruined my sex life!’

Thanks to the Ilford Recorder for pics

I can’t remember the story now, but some poor person had had a vasectomy that went wrong, or something like that. Definitely nothing to do with me. His photo was below the article and mine was next to it, so I’m sure some people must have thought it was me. It still makes us laugh… (Graphic designers and typesetters take note!)

Not sure about this journalist’s decision to headline me as a ‘Battling mum’ – that’s not quite the businesswoman image I like to portray. Although I guess there’s a bit of the Boudicca about that, which I do like. Former Queen of Essex…? Well, I do have media links with royalty (not social media!). My other newsworthy day was being

Working in my garden…

caught on camera with Prince William, in an embarrassing fiasco with no make up and my hair in a scrunchie. Being shown on BBC news wasn’t my finest moment. The prince was very charming but I totally looked like I’d gone to the dogs. It was amazing that the Telegraph managed to knock ten years off my age; wonder how that happened…

And now I really have gone to the dogs!! We spent Friday night at a greyhound track in the heart of Essex (not too far from Boudicca’s kingdom, actually). First time I’ve been for years and not quite as glamorous as a day at Ascot (which I’ve never done by the way) but such fun. Although, we were a little bitchy about some of the dogs – too tall, too small, spindly legs, too spotty – reminded me a bit of nights out at the Ilford Palais…

Some didn’t look too impressed at having to run around after a mechanical rabbit (no, Sue!) and tried to wander off to lay in the 85 degrees evening sunshine. And one looked really miserable with its tail between its legs – I’d never actually seen that before and it’s kind of weird to see a metaphor come to life. It was really too hot for the dogs, and too hot for me.

Mrs Loud knows what to do. “Will you cater to every fantasy I’ve got? Will you hose me down with holy water if I get too hot? Will you take me places I’ve never known?” I can take you places! Just follow me here: @WeekendWitch.

(Thanks to inyourfaceblogspot for sharing the Boudicca painting. It’s all over the net but I can’t see who painted it!)

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Renée is an amazing writer who is the author of some fantastic blogs… very informal and conversational, she talks TO the reader rather than at them. She uses a lot of humour, she doesn't take herself too seriously and isn't scared to laugh at herself; a bit of naughtiness included too for added spice(!)… I asked Renee to help me understand SEO and how to improve my site. We had a one to one session in which she explained in detail everything I needed to know. Her explanation was clear and fully understandable, which was great for me as I had no previous knowledge of SEO or social marketing. I left our meeting confident of what I needed to do in order to boost my site, which is exactly what I wanted to gain from the session... Renée is the most friendly and professional person I have ever worked with. She is an asset to any company and brings a new insight into training. I would strongly recommend Renée to any company wishing to grow and to improve staff performance… Renee is the ultimate networker and is happy to share her contacts for the benefit of others. She is very knowledgeable and has a great network of contacts... Renée creates fantastic web content and writes our twice-weekly blog. Being results-driven, she has succeeded in increasing traffic referrals to our website and raising us swiftly through Google rankings. She also runs our social media marketing campaigns effectively and handles all related staff training in a relaxed and lively manner. She’s great to work with and bakes nice cakes!... I have received great compliments about Renée from those attending the Mildmay Job Clubs... Renée has made valued contributions to our key School Policies (such as The Equality and Diversity policy and The Learning and Teaching policy). She is extremely professional, she has a great eye for detail and can empathise with the target audience. She ensures what is written is a true reflection of what is going to happen or what needs to be said whilst encompassing all stakeholders in the process... Renée’s writing is clear and concise and we have used this in our accountancy practice to produce professional letters to our clients that they can understand. All our team are unanimous when we say Renee is a pleasure to work with and we are looking forward to continuing our strong relationship... A professional and well organised outfit that exceeded expectations. Excellent feedback from the client group who asked for more of the same... Renée has a very good reputation among learners and staff. Her learners benefitted from her expertise. She has a very good outcome from her learners. We are very happy to have Renée as part of our team at Redbridge Institute of Adult Education... Renée has a very relaxed style and is able to get on with colleagues at all levels. She is able to engage very diverse audiences when training, which she delivers in a very user-friendly way. I am more than happy to talk to any potential clients…Personable, expert, high integrity... Delegates came away from the training sessions with vital new skills and a better understanding of how they could communicate more clearly… Renée was able to run these sessions in such a way as to make them both informative and enjoyable. I was remarkably impressed with Renee’s professionalism and expertise and can honestly say that she helped us achieve 100% of the targets we had set ourselves. I would have no hesitation in recommending her… Renée demonstrates outstanding oral presentation skills and has an enthusiastic approach to the subject which promotes motivation and participation between learners... Highly effective identification of individuals' learning needs, excellent support provided as appropriate: one-to-one or as a group...
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