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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

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Experts? Hmmm....

Wow, just finished watching the show here in New Zealand, I wonder about the experts??!! I know every parent and child is different, every relationship within the family is different, some of the advice that pertains to "every" child is not great in my humble opinion.

You should "never" let a child cry? Wow. You should obviously right off a good nights sleep then! Soooo many people I know subscribe to that school of thought and havent slept for the last 6 or 7 years! But that is what they are told to do and that crying will scar their babies forever. I have a 7yo, 5yo and 2 yo. Each of them had a small period of time when we needed to let them cry to get back into a good sleep pattern and then low and behold, they slept! and judging by the fact that all of them are great kids (i'm not saying they're perfect but they are awesome) and they don't remember crying a little bit in the night when they were 9 months old, it worked for us.

I think part of our problem these days is our "here and now" attitude. Lets eat this yummy food now, worry about the excess weight problem later. Lets spoil the child, get up to them everytime they cry, buy them a toy everytime they ask for one in the shops to avoid a tantrum, that just deals with the current issue but builds up a huge range of issues to deal with in the future. Spoilt children expect the world to revolve around them, doesn't work so well when they get to high school or into the work force. Getting up when they cry doesn't work so well when they're 5 and starting school or 8 and still getting into your bed along with your other children aged 5 and 3, giving them a toy to avoid a tantrum teacheds them that they make a big enough fuss and they get what they want. Rather than deal with these issues in a "here and now" way, try the slightly harder but better in the long run approach to parenting where you can raise a well rounded child by long term planning of what will work best in the long term scheme of things.

And yes, I totally agree with many people on this board, do what feels right for you and your family, question what you've been told, think forward to the possible outcomes if you do or don't do something and you ultimately need to accept the decisions you made and commit to them 100%. Half doing something won't work, inconsistency doesn't work. Babies need to know a predictible outcome so if you're happy to get up every time a baby cries, do that, baby will be happy even if you are sleep deprived. But if you do decide to let the baby cry it out, don't just try it for one night and say it doesn't work or go in sometimes and not others because that confuses the baby. Just make sure you stick with what you've decided and give it a good go!

And tantrums (yes we had those) do end eventually, sleepless nights can be a thing of the past and well mannered, well rounded, fun to be with kids can be here to stay!

18 month old adopted son having temper tantrums

I HAVE AND 18 MONTH OLD ADOPTED BABY THAT WE GOT WHEN HE WAS 2 DAYS OLD. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SWEETEST BABY. SO LOVING AND FULL OF LOVE AND CHARM. HE HAS SUDDENLY STARTED HAVING VIOLENT TEMPER TANTRUMS. IS THIS SOMETHING THAT COULD BE IN HIS GENES? OR IS THIS NORMAL. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE.