My Uncle Billy
had a ten-foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.

She thought it was a snake
and she hit it with a rake
and now it's only six-foot-four.

CatSlave

02-26-2007, 05:22 AM

I'm bored.
You're gonna get a gazillion hits on this thread.

The Lady

02-26-2007, 05:23 AM

She only started this thread so she could post that poem.

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 05:24 AM

Grow up guys, please?

writerterri

02-26-2007, 05:25 AM

Grow up guys, please?

Go long!

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:26 AM

Having a giggle does not make one immature. It means we are letting off steam.

Susie

02-26-2007, 05:41 AM

OOOOOOOOOoh, you said the "P" word! :D

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 05:44 AM

Having a giggle does not make one immature. It means we are letting off steam.

A single word post, like Penis, and then snickers is sorta stupid and immature and not the kind of thing I'd expect from writers.

It's pissed me off enough, that I'm going to post things phallic.

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 05:45 AM

Snake

A snake came to my water-trough
On a hot, hot day, and I in pyjamas for the heat,
To drink there.

In the deep, strange-scented shade of the great dark carob-tree
I came down the steps with my pitcher
And must wait, must stand and wait, for there he was at the trough before
me.

He reached down from a fissure in the earth-wall in the gloom
And trailed his yellow-brown slackness soft-bellied down, over the edge of
the stone trough
And rested his throat upon the stone bottom,
And where the water had dripped from the tap, in a small clearness,
He sipped with his straight mouth,
Softly drank through his straight gums, into his slack long body,
Silently.

Someone was before me at my water-trough,
And I, like a second comer, waiting.

He lifted his head from his drinking, as cattle do,
And looked at me vaguely, as drinking cattle do,
And flickered his two-forked tongue from his lips, and mused a moment,
And stooped and drank a little more,
Being earth-brown, earth-golden from the burning bowels of the earth
On the day of Sicilian July, with Etna smoking.
The voice of my education said to me
He must be killed,
For in Sicily the black, black snakes are innocent, the gold are venomous.

And voices in me said, If you were a man
You would take a stick and break him now, and finish him off.

But must I confess how I liked him,
How glad I was he had come like a guest in quiet, to drink at my water-trough
And depart peaceful, pacified, and thankless,
Into the burning bowels of this earth?

Was it cowardice, that I dared not kill him? Was it perversity, that I longed to talk to him? Was it humility, to feel so honoured?
I felt so honoured.

And yet those voices:
If you were not afraid, you would kill him!

And truly I was afraid, I was most afraid, But even so, honoured still more
That he should seek my hospitality
From out the dark door of the secret earth.

He drank enough
And lifted his head, dreamily, as one who has drunken,
And flickered his tongue like a forked night on the air, so black,
Seeming to lick his lips,
And looked around like a god, unseeing, into the air,
And slowly turned his head,
And slowly, very slowly, as if thrice adream,
Proceeded to draw his slow length curving round
And climb again the broken bank of my wall-face.

And as he put his head into that dreadful hole,
And as he slowly drew up, snake-easing his shoulders, and entered farther,
A sort of horror, a sort of protest against his withdrawing into that horrid black hole,
Deliberately going into the blackness, and slowly drawing himself after,
Overcame me now his back was turned.

I looked round, I put down my pitcher,
I picked up a clumsy log
And threw it at the water-trough with a clatter.

I think it did not hit him,
But suddenly that part of him that was left behind convulsed in undignified haste.
Writhed like lightning, and was gone
Into the black hole, the earth-lipped fissure in the wall-front,
At which, in the intense still noon, I stared with fascination.

And immediately I regretted it.
I thought how paltry, how vulgar, what a mean act!
I despised myself and the voices of my accursed human education.

And I thought of the albatross
And I wished he would come back, my snake.

For he seemed to me again like a king,
Like a king in exile, uncrowned in the underworld,
Now due to be crowned again.

And so, I missed my chance with one of the lords
Of life.
And I have something to expiate:
A pettiness.

Taormina, 1923

BenPanced

02-26-2007, 05:46 AM

Already have one, thanks.

Haggis

02-26-2007, 05:49 AM

I feel bad for the snake.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:50 AM

A single word post, like Penis, and then snickers is sorta stupid and immature and not the kind of thing I'd expect from writers.

It's pissed me off enough, that I'm going to post things phallic.

Stupid? Not the sort of thing you'd expect from a writer?

Oh well; I can live with your disapproval. I guess there are some who think having a giggle about something daft is...not the end of the world. Being a writer doesn't mean you have to read Dostoevsky and angst to yourself while Mozart plays in the background all the time.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:51 AM

This thread's getting too phallic now.

writerterri

02-26-2007, 05:52 AM

What's phallic?

tjwriter

02-26-2007, 05:53 AM

I think part of it is that Mac has asked us, as a group, to clean it up a bit. It seems to have been a little wild & crazy this past week.

I don't know if it's because we're starting to feel signs of spring or what...

:Shrug:

Elodie-Caroline

02-26-2007, 05:53 AM

I think you were fantasizing over, Joaquin, again eh Nichola? ;)

I'm bored.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:53 AM

It's rude.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:55 AM

I think part of it is that Mac has asked us, as a group, to clean it up a bit. It seems to have been a little wild & crazy this past week.

I don't know if it's because we're starting to feel signs of spring or what...

(This thread was a result of me growling at my open word.doc, wondering why the words won't write themselves. Letting off steam, don't you know).

writerterri

02-26-2007, 05:55 AM

A single word post, like Penis, and then snickers is sorta stupid and immature and not the kind of thing I'd expect from writers.

It's pissed me off enough, that I'm going to post things phallic.

I've seen worse here. A bunch of grown ups bickering over stupid things is more immature than the word penis. IMO. I already asked that she get sentences. Sheesh!

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 05:56 AM

I sentence myself to another 1,000 words before hitting the 'refresh' button so I can't read any more threads. Speed-writing, here I come.

Silver King

02-26-2007, 05:56 AM

Snake
Great poem!

writerterri

02-26-2007, 05:57 AM

What's phallic!?

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 05:58 AM

OK, Silver ... Why is it a great poem? What do you like about it?

Why might I have called it phallic (http://www.bartleby.com/61/31/P0233100.html)?

Elodie-Caroline

02-26-2007, 05:58 AM

Phallic is just things that symbolise a penis.

What's phallic!?

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:01 AM

Phallic is just things that symbolise a penis.

Err, well, kinda, but mostly, not. The use of "symbolise" there is the tricky part . . . shrinks use phallic to mean that. Mostly phallic, particularly the way I'm using it, means "penis like," rather than symbolic. Yeah, I know I'm splitting ah, hairs, but, well, it's my nature.

Phallic really is just an adjective form of the noun phallus; phallus means penis.

Elodie-Caroline

02-26-2007, 06:05 AM

Phallic, penis, a penis is a penis, like a rose is a rose is a rose.

Phallic really is just an adjective form of the noun phallus; phallus means penis.

writerterri

02-26-2007, 06:06 AM

Got it. Thanks.

Elodie-Caroline

02-26-2007, 06:08 AM

from my Oxford Dictionary.

phallic
n adjective
1 relating to or resembling a phallus or erect penis.
2 Psychoanalysis of or denoting the genital phase of psychosexual development, especially in males.

DERIVATIVES
phallically adverb

Resembling is like symbolism to me :)

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:10 AM

Phallic, penis, a penis is a penis, like a rose is a rose is a rose.

Err, no, really a rose is, well, something altogether other, and Gertrude Stein knew very very well. Stein actually wrote "Rose is a rose is a rose," just in case, you know, someone cared.

writerterri

02-26-2007, 06:11 AM

from my Oxford Dictionary.

phallic
n adjective
1 relating to or resembling a phallus or erect penis.
2 Psychoanalysis of or denoting the genital phase of psychosexual development, especially in males.

DERIVATIVES
phallically adverb

Resembling is like symbolism to me :)

psychosexual. That sums up a man. I'm putting that in my user title.

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:16 AM

Resembling is like symbolism to me :)

Oy. You're a writer. You gotta do better than "like." Symbolism (http://www.bartleby.com/61/79/S0957900.html) includes the idea of an object standing for specific ideas.

A rose in poetry, particularly that of Stein, often symbolizes the vulva. It's not like the vulva so much, as it shares some common attributes, and has come to stand for or even be equated with, the vulva, in a lot of poetry.

clockwork

02-26-2007, 06:19 AM

Oy. You're a writer. You gotta do better than "like." Symbolism (http://www.bartleby.com/61/79/S0957900.html) includes the idea of an object standing for specific ideas.

A rose in poetry, particularly that of Stein, often symbolizes the vulva. It's not like the vulva so much, as it is sort of shares some common attributes, and has come to stand for or even be equated with, the vulva, in a lot of poetry.

Am I the only one who thought "Resembling is like symbolism to me" was a funny play on words?

pink lily

02-26-2007, 06:20 AM

Once you understand what "phallic" means, you may laugh when you read that the Washington Monument is a symbol of America's phallusy.

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:21 AM

Am I the only one who thought "Resembling is like symbolism to me" was a funny play on words?

No.

writerterri

02-26-2007, 06:23 AM

Once you understand what "phallic" means, you may laugh when you read that the Washington Monument is a symbol of America's phallusy.

Just like a man to alway point things to his penis. *smacks forehead*

foreskin, forefathers

his-tory

benbradley

02-26-2007, 06:25 AM

Err, well, kinda, but mostly, not. The use of "symbolise" there is the tricky part . . . shrinks use phallic to mean that. Mostly phallic, particularly the way I'm using it, means "penis like," rather than symbolic. Yeah, I know I'm splitting ah, hairs, but, well, it's my nature.

Phallic really is just an adjective form of the noun phallus; phallus means penis.
Sigmund Freud surely must have used the word phallic a lot. He interpreted a cigar in women's dreams as representing a penis, and there was much other interpretation, such as why a woman was dreaming about a penis. But not one to overanalyze, Freud is quoted as once saying "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

And sometimes a tautology is just a tautology.

Links? You want links? We got links.
http://www.schaft.com/endofit.html
http://www.turnofftheinternet.com
http://www.wwwdotcom.com
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060213/chester
Sorry, no sausage links. You can go back to your smirks and giggles now.

P.H.Delarran

02-26-2007, 06:26 AM

I got a girl she lives cross town,
She's the one that really gets down.
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl she lives on the block,
She kinda funky with her pink and black socks.
She likes to boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie woogie baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl, she lives on the hill.
She won't do it but her sister will,
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.
Blow your top blow your top blow your top.

zz top

Silver King

02-26-2007, 06:27 AM

OK, Silver ... Why is it a great poem? What do you like about it?
It wasn't the phallic imagery that struck me, but rather how the writer struggles with his conscience to kill the snake merely because the reptile is deemed unsightly and dangerous. He believes his actions are wrong, yet makes a half-hearted attempt just the same. When he faces his guilt, he understands what he's attempted is socially acceptable yet morally reprehensible.

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:27 AM

Freud . . . feh. Dude was a cocaine mainliner.

CatSlave

02-26-2007, 06:27 AM

Just a reminder to the men:
It's not the size of the wand that puts the rabbit in the hat, but the magic of the performer.

clockwork

02-26-2007, 06:29 AM

No.

OK, then. Good to know.

writerterri

02-26-2007, 06:29 AM

I got a girl she lives cross town,
She's the one that really gets down.
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl she lives on the block,
She kinda funky with her pink and black socks.
She likes to boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie woogie baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl, she lives on the hill.
She won't do it but her sister will,
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.
Blow your top blow your top blow your top.

It wasn't the phallic imagery that struck me, but rather how the writer struggles with his conscience to kill the snake merely because the reptile is deemed unsightly and dangerous. He believes his actions are wrong, yet makes a half-hearted attempt just the same. When he faces his guilt, he understands what he's attempted is socially acceptable yet morally reprehensible.

Yeah . . . the first time I read that poem, in Freshman English, I was horrified by the death of the snake. It's the only thing of Lawrence's I can stand, and it still haunts for a number of reasons.

Del

02-26-2007, 06:31 AM

Just like a man to alway point things to his penis. *smacks forehead*

foreskin, forefathers

his-tory

Yes your Penis...er...your Highness.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 06:37 AM

1,006 words since my last post.

YAY ME! :D

thethinker42

02-26-2007, 06:38 AM

I'm bored.

Joaquin Phoenix's Penis. Now *I'M* not bored...

jvc

02-26-2007, 06:40 AM

1,006 words since my last post.

YAY ME! :D

They weren't all penis related, were they?

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:40 AM

OK; here's another one. It's in Middle English, but just read it phonetically, and you'll be fine. I've glossed some of the odder bits.

I have a gentil cok,
Crowyt me day; [Who crows for me at dawn]
He doth me rysyn erly,
My matyins for to say.

I have a gentil cok,
Comyn he is of gret;
His comb is of reed corel,
His tayil is of jet.

I have a gentyl cook,
Comyn he is of kynde; [He comes from good breeding]
His comb is of red corel,
His tayl is of inde.

His legges ben of asor,
So gentil and so smale;
His spores arn of sylver qwyt, [spurs]
Into the wortewale. [up to the root]

His eynyn arn of cristal,
Lokyn al in aumbry; [set in amber]
And every nyght he perchit hym [and every night he perches]
In myn ladyis chaumbyr. [In my lady's chamber]

British Musuem Sloane MS. 2593

Now then, I have a filthy mind; we know this. It's an occupational requirement, in fact, given that so much early literature is bawdy.

So you tell me -- is this a poem about a rooster or, well, a cock? And why?

Little Red Barn

02-26-2007, 06:40 AM

I got a girl she lives cross town,
She's the one that really gets down.
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl she lives on the block,
She kinda funky with her pink and black socks.
She likes to boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie woogie baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.

I got a girl, she lives on the hill.
She won't do it but her sister will,
When she boogie,
She do the tube snake boogie.
Well now boogie little baby,
Boogie woogie all night long.
Blow your top blow your top blow your top.

zz top

:snoopy: I really don't think Billy was singing about uh..ahem...above all this...though it was a cool play on words...:D

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 06:41 AM

They weren't all penis related, were they?

Absolutely not. It was a scene between two women. Non-sexual. One was following the other but was delayed by unforeseen events on the way, and lost the trail. So there. :D

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 06:41 AM

Tube snake is slang for penis. It's a snake with a fondness for a particular tube, so to speak.

Del

02-26-2007, 06:42 AM

They weren't all penis related, were they?

It's probably a submarine story. They are filled with seamen you know.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 06:43 AM

Joaquin Phoenix's Penis. Now *I'M* not bored...

His Penis is capitalised?!

Well I sure think it's capital! :D

Del

02-26-2007, 06:45 AM

Tube snake is slang for penis. It's a snake with a fondness for a particular tube, so to speak.

There are also tube worms for those of us not so...snakey.

P.H.Delarran

02-26-2007, 06:45 AM

:snoopy: I really don't think Billy was singing about uh..ahem...above all this...though it was a cool play on words...:D
what else could it mean??
(or am i really dirty-minded??)

Christine N.

02-26-2007, 06:49 AM

Ha! Ban that, librarians :D

See how I turned it all around to writing?

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 06:50 AM

Three pages already and I was only gone for a little while.

Jeez. You're all perverts.

P.H.Delarran

02-26-2007, 06:51 AM

like you expected less.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 06:53 AM

You have all been weighed in the balance, and have been found wanting. Especially thethinker42.

jvc

02-26-2007, 06:55 AM

My sister went on one of those talking scales at the supermarket. A rather deep voice said, "One at a time please."

thethinker42

02-26-2007, 06:57 AM

You have all been weighed in the balance, and have been found wanting. Especially thethinker42.

Are you calling me fat?

thethinker42

02-26-2007, 06:58 AM

His Penis is capitalised?!

Well I sure think it's capital! :D

It's always capitalized when I'm around. Heheheh

In reality, it should be in all caps.

PENIS A LA JOAQUIN.

Little Red Barn

02-26-2007, 06:59 AM

what else could it mean??
(or am i really dirty-minded??)
No you are not, its just, that and a pearl necklace will buy you a pair of cheap sunglasses. Which btw he wrote (sunglasses) in 2 min, on a airplane cocktail napkin, out of sheer boredom.
Was a cool play but... maybe its meaning is different now---
aww nevermind :tongue

My sister went sunbathing on the beach one day last summer. Ten minutes later they had greenpeace down there trying to roll her back into the sea.

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 07:04 AM

oh Kimmi, please tell me you know what a pearl necklace is??

I've got a photo of me in a gay bar wearing a pearl necklace.

No, really. A necklace made of pearls.

Little Red Barn

02-26-2007, 07:07 AM

oh Kimmi, please tell me you know what a pearl necklace is??
(maybe i should shut up)
;)
If I only had the nerve to post a pix. yeah, the guys knew what they were doing there... Really, hot blue and righteous...;)

Bartholomew

02-26-2007, 07:10 AM

I claim this thread in the name of King Richard, ruler omnipotent of all penises. Penii?

Medievalist

02-26-2007, 07:12 AM

penises. Penii?

There are two acceptable plurals for penis:

penises

penes

scarletpeaches

02-26-2007, 07:15 AM

If one is thinking of a penis, is one penisive?

Or does that sound like a kitchen utensil used for getting lumps out of a bowlful of penises?