Friday, March 9, 2012

The Militant's 'Levitated Mass' Playlist!

Here in Los Angeles, we commemorate the anniversaries of earthquakes and point out our faults (pun most obviously intended, be warned, this post is full of 'em...), but never before has geology otherwise been the talk of the town for an entire week.

Tonight is the final trek of Levitated Mass' hundred-mile journey (at five miles an hour, so everybody sees you) from its birthplace in a Riverside quarry to its new home at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in Miracle Mile. There are celebrations anticipated tonight for the big-ass rock's arrival. There's even a 3K footrace and a group bike ride (Critical Levitated Mass, anyone?) You can say an entire city has been...stoned. You can say that we've been bouldered-over. You can say that this event has Levitated Mass appeal. You can say...uh-oh, the Pun Police are coming.

Now, some people have scoffed at the $10 million cost of bringing a big-ass rock through city streets. But think about it for a second: With roughly 10 million people in Los Angeles County talking about this thing all week, it's a genius marketing campaign to get people to visit (and possibly become donors) to LACMA -- at a cost of $1 a person!

To honor the arrival of LM tonight, DJ Militant Angeleno has cooked up a music playlist of appropriate tunes to celebrate the journey. Feel free to play these tunes at full blast from your car stereos, boom boxes or those mobile bike trailer sound systems!

"Like A Rock" - Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
You're probably more familiar with this song hawking Chevy Trucks back in the '90s, but imagine the kinetic energy building up as Levitated Mass begins rolling on along north from Figueroa and Gage tonight. It's making its declaration after spending all day in the 81-degree sunshine:

Stood there boldlySweatin' in the sun Felt like a million Felt like number one The height of summer (-like weather)I'd never felt that strong Like a rock..

"I'm Stone In Love With You" - The Stylistics
Art Laboe would approve of this slow jam classic. An entire city has fallen in love with a 340-ton boulder. Need The Militant say more?

"Rock On" - Michael Damian
Yes, so it's the cheesy '80s cover version of the 1973 David Essex hit, but come on.

Where do we go from here?Which is the way that's clear?

North on Figueroa then west on Adams, that's where. And thank your lucky stars the Metro Expo Line was built underground through here so as not to interfere with the height of the rock and its ginormous transport machine...otherwise we'd have to wait until like 2014 for the thing to open.

"Rock With You" - Michael Jackson

"Rock Me Tonite" - Billy Squier

"Rock Around The Clock" - Bill Haley and the Comets

Moving a big-ass boulder around town takes a long time, and is an operation performed in the wee hours of the night. And besides, if MJ were still with us, he'd probably buy a Levitated Mass of his own.

"Planet Rock" - Afrika Bambaataa and Soul Sonic Force

"Rockit" - Herbie Hancock

Break off a piece of the surface of the planet and fault it a hundred miles to be displayed at a museum? Well, whip out the cardboard, 'cause here's some breakdance classics to celebrate L.M. Rock, yo!

"Solid" - Ashford and Simpson

Levitated Mass is the hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hottest thing in town!

Can you feel the excitement in the air? Levitated Mass its just about to arrive at LACMA, with a large crowd gathering there for its much-heraleded arrival. And can you imagine those throngs of Angelenos (or at the very least, LACMA staffers), in unison, doing a "Stomp-Stom-CLAP" and chanting, "We Will, We Will ROCK YOU!"?

"Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO

The big moment has arrived! It's a party atmosphere here at LACMA! This Party Rock is definitely in the house tonight! What better song to celebrate than this dance track fro, Los Angeles' own LMFAO? The Militant expects you all to be shuffling. SHAKE THAT!

3 comments:

That Billy Squier video kills me every time (yeah, I've actually watched it more than once, cuz I just can't believe Billy's freaky dancing...it's said that video killed his career. I still love it!). Don't forget Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane".

How funny would it have been if that rock, upon arriving at LACMA, had just fallen to pieces? Sorry to be a buzzkill.

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A 100% Los Angeles native, the Militant Angeleno lives in a compound in an unspecified neighborhood of central Los Angeles. His life consists largely of his various adventures around the city, which are documented in this blog. The Militant is also multi-modal and is not dependent on any one mode of transportation, although he is most known for traversing the City's streets via bicycle. The Militant can be described as part-activist, part-superhero, giving the voice to the voiceless and silencing those who just plain whine too much. Partly because of his selfless motives, he prefers to refer to himself in the third person, as the first-person is too self-centered. The Militant is anonymous and goes to great lengths to protect his identity and is aided and protected by an unspecified number of operatives, who are sworn to secrecy as to his identity. Most important, the Militant's ultimate objective is not to be the Militant Angeleno, but to empower and enlighten other Angelenos, so that they may be militants in their own right. Oh yeah, Go Dodgers!

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