Thursday, March 27, 2003

So the Oilers are playoff-bound after a year of early golf: the only issue now is the seeding. Fans are reportedly eager for an Oilers-Vancouver first-round series, which would probably require the Oilers to climb out of eighth. This is, I think, madness. I say so for three reasons: (1) the Canucks are, for my money, the favourite to win the conference. (2) Our goalie, Tommy Salo, is Markus Naslund's personal little bitch. (3) Why the hell do we want Canadian teams whaling on each other in the first round? I'm not afraid of Dallas, but I'm afraid of Vancouver: in my nightmares Todd Bertuzzi smashes downtown Edmonton like Godzilla, knocking over buildings and crushing cars like pop cans, and when I wake up screaming I realize that in the dream Bertuzzi was lifesize. Nooooo! Nnnooooo!

As a fan of the Canucks, some comments:

1) These are the Canucks after all, so they might find some way to wrest a loss from the jaws of victory. Trust me, after 25 years of watching them play I know this to be so.

2) I'd like to see a Oilers/Canucks conference final, so there is at least one Canadian team in the Stanley Cup finals. (I sometimes get bored and stop watching the NHL playoffs once all the Candian teams are out, and start again once the Stanley Cup finals are on.)

3) Do the Oilers have a secret IHL farm team on Monster Island? If so, the Canucks are in trouble. (After dispatching of Bertuzzizilla, Mothra gets a two minute unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for eating Mark Crawford.....)