Throughout Advent, I have been collecting a soundtrack to get me deeper into the season. Tonight, I was greeted by two songs at our annual “Blue Christmas” service — one I sang and one I heard — that helped move me along towards the manger, sadness and all. Tonight, I thought I would share them with you as we approach the longest night of the year. First, is a song written by Melissa Manchester and Beth Nielsen Chapman had sung by the Indigo Girls: “There’s Still My Joy.”

I brought my tree down to the shore the garland and the silver star to find my peace, and grieve no more to heal this place inside my heart

on every branch I laid some bread and hungry birds filled up the sky they rang like bells around my head they sang my spirit back to life

one tiny child can change the world one shining light can show the way through all my tears for what I’ve lost there’s still my joy there’s still my joy for Christmas day

the snow comes down on empty sand there’s tinsel moonlight on the waves my soul was lost, but here I am so this must be amazing grace

one tiny child can change the world one shining light can show the way through all my tears for what I’ve lost there’s still my joy there’s still my joy for Christmas day

The second is a song I learned from my brother many years ago and was written and recorded by Andrew Peterson: “After the Last Tear Falls.”

after the last tear falls after the last secret’s told after the last bullet tears through flesh and bone after the last child starves and the last girl walks the boulevard after the last year that’s just too hard there is love, love, love there is love, love, love there is love

after the last disgrace after the last lie to save some face after the last brutal jab from a poison tongue after the last dirty politician after the last meal down at the mission after the last lonely night in prison there is love, love, love there is love, love, love there is love

and in the end, the end is oceans and oceans of love and love again we’ll see how the tears that have fallen were caught in the palms of the giver of love and the lover of all and we’ll look back on these tears as old tales

’cause after the last plan fails after the last siren wails after the last young soldier sails off to join the war after the last “this marriage is over” after the last young child’s innocence is stolen after the last years of silence that won’t let a heart open there is love, love, love there is love, love, love there is love

and in the end, the end is oceans and oceans of love and love again we’ll see how the tears that have fallen were caught in the palms of the giver of love and the lover of all and we’ll look back on these tears as old tales

’cause after the last tear falls there is love, love, love there is love, love, love there is love

The first prayer in the service was a responsive reading and closed with these lines:

All: We ask, “Will joy come in the morning?”
One: You answer, “Yes, joy will come in the morning.”

I was struck by the power of a good homonyms. As the service progressed and the two songs were sung, I felt what I had first heard in the prayer: yes, joy will come in the mourning. Amen.

3 Responses to advent journal: joy comes . . .

Oh, Milton. You have just undone me. We did a very small Blue Christmas this year, and I moved gently out of retirement to help lead it. These words, these songs – yes, so perfect. Thank you. Between you and John Blase, I just may not have any tears left this Christmas. You are a gift to me this Advent and I thank you.

A church in my community has hosted a blue Christmas service the last few years. Such an important opportunity, I think, for those who mourn. I went year before last: cried my tears in the dark and lit my little candle. I didn’t go Christmas past, though, b/c I’d grieved like crazy all year long and just wanted to celebrate…