Thursday, 12 November 2015

Fake People

“Oh
my God how are you? You look amazing, we really should meet up more often”

Sound familiar? You’ve experienced fake
people. But these fake people are fine, they are in and out of your life no
fuss.

The worst fake people are those semi-permanent
fuckers who don’t know you, will never really try to get to know you, and have
no personality to get to know. The people who are sickly sweet to your face but
talk shit behind your back. The scum of the earth if you will?

The fake people I’m talking about are those
who sometimes try to give you advice in an artificial happy-tone when the
contents of what they are saying is somewhat negative. Now that sounds like a
complex thing but if you’ve ever experienced it you’ll know what I mean. And if
you’ve ever been unemployed I am 90% sure you will have had one of these in the
form of a “I’ve heard that new supermarket
down the road is hiring, and with your degree you could go in at management
level, a jobs a job after all”. Oh my God thank you for such wonderful
advice I spent 3 years at university specializing in a subject to become an
Aldi manager. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but when it’s
the wrong advice for you there is literally no point in even talking,
especially when you’re fake as fuck and know nothing about me.

An easy way to know if you have a fake
person in your life is to see what others say about them. If other close family
members say things like “they are hard to
get to know” or “they’re a funny
person” or even a “There is something
fucking wrong with them” you may have a fake person. See if people are not
sure about them even after spending time with them then there’s a problem for
sure.

Fake people are usually nice, which is the
worst thing about them. You lose your shit with them you look like a cunt and
they walk away smelling of flowers (albeit artificial ones). And when I say
nice I mean fake nice obviously, kiss you on the cheek but stab you in the back
kind of people.

Now there is a time to be fake. There
always will be times when you bump into a friend who you haven’t seen in 5+
years and have nothing in common with anymore but still feel the need to speak
to them. This is the only acceptable fakeness and does not make you a fake
person. The problem is with negatively charged fake people not fake to not hurt
someone’s feelings fake.

This is all quite
confusing and fake people are one of the hardest types of people to have in
your life (believe me). The worst thing being I have no solution to
them. Ignore them until they are out of your lives is about the best advice but
that’s neither here nor there as it’s easier said than done when you don’t have
to put up with these people.