Tuesday, March 17, 2009

On one level, there is the surface explanations that are convenient to keep the status quo and a functional denial in place. For example, in a divorce filing, a wife claimed that her husband deliberately and willfully squeezed the tube of toothpaste and left the top off. Certainly, the reasons for wanting to end a marriage go much deeper than a tube of toothpaste. Another example of a surface explanation are friends who claim they are just too busy to call back, when the truth might be an intentional avoidance.

Finding deeper levels of the truth, that in fact the wife is fearful that the husband will never respect her needs, or that a friend finds your public behavior embarrassing because of its similarity to his or her parent, is important because it takes a tremendous amount of energy to contain and keep the truth from oneself and others. I have observed that when a person says to another or oneself what he or she is most afraid of expressing and acknowledges that reality, the situation changes. Speaking to a core truth, whether or not another person acknowledges it, can create a shift in the world.

Truth telling is the recognition of what is complete in the moment and naming it. In many cultures' mythologies, it is the naming of a spirit, knowing the truth behind a deception, or uncovering a mystery that leads to the next stage of growth.