The tale of Commander’s irrational millipede phobia

Commander’s daughter is kind of inspired by this friend of my brother’s who had a fashionista mom and a bushman dad, so her mom would suit her up with all the glamorous lady-like stuff and her dad would bring her pet bugs and snails and newts and that kind of thing, and they effectively raised a bombshell pageant-queen lookin’ young woman with an odd affection for creepy crawlies.

Now that I think about it, there’s something Kafka-esque about raising a responsible kid and ending up with a giant bug.

I’m actually in the middle of the same(to me) situation. I have a severe aversion to any berry-flavored foods, but my son will be one next week, and I hold my breath and give him strawberry cereal and berry yogurt as much as anything else so that he won’t have the same problems that I did. Even the smell of fruit punch makes me feel sick to my stomache, so I can completely identify with the Commander about this. I’d literally rather eat the millipede.

I’ve never met someone with an aversion to berries before. Is it just the artifical stuff, or do real berries trigger this too? And is this like a physchological thing – “my parents were murdered by Strawberry Shortcake!” – or a purely physical reaction to the flavor?

My folks were always pretty upfront about it. When I was in first or second grade I was told I the only way I could get a game boy color was if I could afford it. Cue almost two years of saving my pocket change (and then my little brother decided to get one too. That’s what happens when you get a bank shaped like a train as a three year old and love it too much to ever question the fact you don’t have the physical strength to open it). On the other hand my sister has always been flatly denied a puppy.

I concur, he decided that he should be a man of his word even though he didn’t actually want one (millipede I mean) and also that even if he did use the “veto card” he would not have taught responsibility. He valued the lesson he taught over the other less fortunate results. WANNA-BE PARENTS TAKE NOTE.

I once did something similar, but instead of a millipede it was a boa. After dozen years, I ended up having to give it to the zoo because I couldn’t afford the baby goats required to feed it every month.

You can actually buy very large snakes at various reptile shops throughout the US, depending on the legality of owning a large snake in that area. I’m pretty sure Randalph is exaggerating a little but I have seen anacondas for sale. However I’m strongly against that because you know most of the people who would buy an anaconda would be the kind that’d keep him in a vastly undersized tank, just getting it for the sole purpose of bragging HELL YEAH I GOT AN ANACONDA ect. e.e

Boa constrictors don’t get large enough to eat goats. Rabbits, maybe, if it is exceptionally large, but never baby goats. You took such good care of it that you didn’t even know what it was for 12 years! Way to go!

That depends on the millipede I think? The local ones smell almond-y, and at least some of the giant ones–I mean, it smells like almonds because of cyanide, but it’s still fairly pleasant when compared with snake musk, for example.

Yeah… that Irritant happens to be a form of cyanide. And can be deadly if ingested… how ever most anything tasting it will just drop it and run, cause it tastes horrible. But it can be dangerous in open wounds as well.

…I think they look positively adorable! For some reason, I always liked the creepy crawlies whose legs were tucked under their bodies. Millipedes, rolly poleys, ladybugs, caterpillars, etc. But centipedes, ants, and spiders? *shudder* Always called on my dad to save me when even the tiniest spider showed up. And he always pretended to eat it just to see my reaction. And then I’d be super disgusted, but called on him every time anyway.

I stopped sleeping at night one summer because millipedes and centipedes would come in under the back door. Bug spray just made it so they could only come in about a foot before curling up and dying.

I was terrified that if I wasn’t there to keep an eye on them, they’d be everywhere (like the time I almost stepped on a centipede barefoot, or the time there was one in the sink when I was doing dishes. I really didn’t want to find out if I was allergic to their poison.

He cheats, he has probably been forward and back so many times he knows when to give in and not too.

For example, he might of been set on no even if she did all that stuff in order to get it, but after seeing that his disrespect caused her to lose her sense of responsibility after being wronged like that. With that in mind he gets her the giant bug and her path is set better. Cheater.

Raising a Millipede sounds good and all, but it always turns bad when they get too huge. Giant mushrooms sprout everywhere, the Millipede goes into a frenzy, and then you have to blast it apart piece by piece. And if you end up hitting the middle part of the creature, now you have to deal with two rage-filled Millipedes.

But on the plus side, Mr. Fish might finally have an animal friend his size.

Indeed. My Mom and Stepdad did something similar. We were allowed to get a tattoo (I was 16-17 at the time), but under two condtitions. First, we had to do research. Caring for a tattoo once you get it, risks involved etc. and second, we had to come to them with a design and keep it. Now I’ve no doubt their mindset was similar to the Captain, and that we would forget about it in a year, but secondly, it was done so that it could be done in a way that they were aware of, could approve and could be done safely. But I will always give them credit as, much like Captain here, they could well have exercised parental veto, and didn’t.

My daughter and I have gone through this exact same scenario, except it was making the bed, not picking dandelions, and it was a bearded dragon, not a millipede. She loves the crap out of that foot-and-a-half-long doorstop, though.

Actually, Bearded Dragons can indeed eat dandelions, though I doubt it’s a consistent part of their diet. One of my dad’s family friends had a massive Bearded Dragon named Puff, and when we “walked” him (he had a darling little harness), we picked dandelions and he’d eat them.

Dandelions are actually a good addition to their diet (the greens, not the flowers themselves) though I’d recommend sticking to ones you get at places like Trader Joe’s or other food stores, and not in your yard as pesticides, parasites and other dangerous things can be in them.

Baby beardies eat mostly insects, but when they grow up they tend to eat mostly vegetables, with insects providing extra proteins. Some people like to give their beardies chicken (anytime I have chicken my beardie will walk over and glare at me until I give him some, he’s worse than my cat) and there are different insects that you can give them – I personally prefer dubias, as they are meatier and there is no risk of them biting or, if they get loose in the house, reproducing since they require very specific temps and humidities to breed.

Spinach, kale, dandelion greens and various vegetables (butternut squash is mine’s favourite) make up the bulk of the adult’s diet.

As someone who speaks to neither his father NOR his stepfather, I am delighted for you. And work my ass off on a daily basis to have my son echo your sentiments at some point in his life. Towards which, I actually am a lot like the Commander in re: my kid.

My father is the same way, and may I say bravo to you, sir, for breaking the cycle of bad parenting. It always warms my heart to see something like that, and I’m incredibly thankful that my dad took his own father’s shitty example and decided that he would never make a child feel like that. That’s true manliness, right there.

Millipedes are toxic to eat (at least, some of them are)–centipedes are venomous, and can have quite a nasty bite.

Technically speaking, millipedes are distinguished from centipedes by having two legs per body segment instead of one, but the true distinguishing feature is that millipedes are bumbly and adorable, and centipedes are disgusting, horrible deathmonsters.

I was doing it to personally spite you, obviously. I was just thinkin’ “Man I better put up a few months of rushed content, I bet that’ll really bug that Dillon guy and have nothing to do with the fact that I spent two months working something like 80 hours a week”

Real life has to take priority and you have still been releasing updates each week. I have enjoyed all the strips that have been coming as well, though it does sometimes take my mind some time to notice the punchline but that’s me being slow. The fact that you were able to get something posted in those weeks while still working 80 hour weeks is pretty awesome

It is the way of the internet. No total stranger left not irritated. There’s always one of these guys, coming on and being pointlessly critical. You don’t release the strips on time, I don’t like how you portrayed Raiden from Metal Gear Solid as a mime, I wish there was a dating game strip where Mileena had to choose between Baraka, Jaws from James Bond, and a nightmare fuel shark man from an anime.

Actually, that dating game idea, I would love to see. But I’ve been too pleased with the strip to make a serious request. Unlike the whiners I’m content. Still, that would be a hillarious sight. Too bad I can’t draw.

I have a feeling this millipede isn’t from their century…Perhaps Commander just went back in time to the early Carboniferous Era, and just captured a huge-ass Arthopleura. Seems cheaper than just going to the pet store to buy a big millipede :P

Sure, if you don’t mind it promptly suffocating in a modern atmosphere. There’s a reason you don’t get bugs that big these days. And while CB may not like creepy-crawlies, I don’t believe he’d do that to June.

Been a long time fan of the comic, never commented before. I just wanted to say that if more people raised their kid the way the Commander seems to be raising his daughter, the world would be such a better place.

“Giant” millipedes are slow, mild tempered, poisonous only when eaten, and weirdly cute herbivores.
“Giant” centipedes are fast, viciously ill-tempered carnivores that will poison you if you look at them cross eyed. Some giant centipedes are known to anchor themselves to the ground, walls or ceiling and use their two foot length of poison terror to bull-whip prey into submission. Yes, you look like prey to a giant centipede. Everything does.
I put giant in quotes because – Arthropleura. You could ride one of those like a millipede carpet. It’s kind of a shame things like that and the Dunkleosteus went extinct.

I’m fascinated. Where do these “giant” centipedes dwell? Sure, I could look it up on Google, but sometimes experts find delight in teaching others what they know, and I’m interested on hearing it. How do you know so much about the matter?

High enough, I guess. A cave full of bats is something of a target rich environment. I’m not anything like an expert, I just know about them because they used to show up at reptile shows for some reason. One crazy bastard (I mean that in the best way) in the waybackwhen had a pet giant centipede that walked around on him. He looked like someone with dermatographic urticaria had transliterated the Encyclopedia Britannica onto their arms in braille. He said that one was well behaved, ‘only mildly poisonous’ and that he had another type that made every effort to murderlash him when he opened it’s cadge to feed it. Hell, he could have just been putting one over on me, and this is my recollection as an impressionable kid from years ago. If you want to get an actual expert’s opinion on it search online or go to a reptile show.

I spent the first minute of the video trying to figure out what was up with the snakes back/tail/end part and wondering when the centipede was going to show up. The moment of realisation was… disquieting, to say the least

Awh! This is actually adorable. He seems like he’d be an amazing father.
My parents are big fans of logic, so my brother and I could pretty much get anything we wanted (within reason, obviously. I’m talking games or food here) so long as we could come up with a valid argument for it. For example, I finally won my Dad over to the idea of getting us a Gamecube when we were little by producing a study that showed gaming improves hand-eye coordination.

I could have had all of the bugs I wanted, hissing roaches, trantulas, even lizards, but until I got my own house, I was never even allowed to think of getting a snake. Now I have three. But I do usually have a praying mantis as a pet every summer though.

I feel like the real gem here is the whole “Just because I hate millipedes doesn’t mean she should have to.” I love that, how the Commander is cool enough to try to teach his daughter how to accept people and their differences.

I have to admit, when I started reading MGDMT I never would’ve imagined the Commander would turn out to be one of the world’s greatest dads; but he definitely is, lol.

Definitely the right way to do it too. Raise your kids to be responsible, test their dedication & commitment, & even if it’s something that you don’t like, support them regardless & don’t hold something back just because you don’t like it …

Reading through the comments made me remember a story my mom told me. When she was a little kid, my grandparents had tons of animals and she asked for a pet pig. My grandfather said she could have one, but as soon as it got fat enough they’d turn it into bacon. She didn’t want that pig anymore.

Brilliant. I really appreciate how this cawmick about vidja geemz holds it’s own characters and story, to the point where there doesn’t NEED to be a “L0L le MeMe FacE INTRENENT JOKE” about the game of the day. It’s nice. It’s like when every once in a while there’d be a Calvin and Hobbes strip just about the parents. Good. Professional. 13/10. Round of claps.