I have stuck with you through some bad times, terrible decisions, awful scripts, bad acting (I’m looking at you, Hayden and the sand), Ewoks, Porgs, hiring Max Von Sydow and using him for like 3.5 minutes in your movie, starting a new continuity making my Jedi Order tattoo no longer canon, even KILLING LUKE BLOODY SKYWALKER, yet I have not complained, I have defended, I have cheer-leaded, I have paid my money so many times, re-watched, marathoned, Machete ordered to the point I can even find the good in The Phantom Menace but this takes the bloody cake.

Why? Why? Why?

I’m not saying what you did wasn’t good (it wasn’t, sorry – Ed), but then you show us this and I can’t even.

I mean I know it’s for kids, I love the fact it’s for kids, I have a 5-year-old nephew who’s a massive Star Wars fan just like I am, and I understand that this is not the most kid friendly scene but SERIOUSLY! (Also, it keeps the Star Wars ‘losing an arm’ tradition alive and well – Ed).

That said I’ll see you for the Solo movie in a few weeks and be at the midnight prem of Episode IX.

Ciarán McElherron is 37 years old and living in Belfast with his wife Clare and an assortment of cats and a dog.
He caught the nerd bug the first time he saw a lightsaber ignite and Luke Skywalker has been his hero ever since. He watches too much TV, reads too many Marvel comic books and plays way too much Football Manager. Sylvester McCoy was his Doctor and when he grows up he would like to be He-Man

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