Windows Upgrade Banned by Fifa

Fifa staff have had their requests for a Windows upgrade rejected by senior managers according to an irate administrator.

The member of staff who wished to remain nameless said "We've been working on Windows 3.1 for more than 20 years and we thought a request to upgrade to Windows 95 would be passed by the management without any problems. Rejecting this upgrade is just senseless. Everyone in Fifa agrees that it is time technology was introduced to our offices!"

A leaked memo from Sepp Blatter to senior Fifa IT Managers is reported to have said "Technology is not necessary in the game of football. Ultimately the work has to be done by a human being so let's just leave it to our administrators to do without the use of complex technology. Afterall, if we start introducing technology to our offices, where will we draw the line?"

It is understood that the administrators at Fifa will be consulting their unions for further support on the matter.