A concise guide to the world of cinema, tv, and games through the eyes of a sociopath

Spine (1986)

Plot: A series of brutal murders has left several woman dead, with the killer stabbing them countless times in the back. The attacks are so vicious that the victims’ spines are missing, painting the killer as a sick breed of psychopath. The women all share common traits such as being short in height and working as nurses, but the motivation is unknown despite the clear patterns. The police have scoured the crime scenes and researched potential leads, but have gotten nowhere. This of course frustrates the authorities and public, all of whom just want this madman locked up. The bodies continue to pile up and the police struggle to make sense of the cast, leaving hot nurses in danger. Will anyone stop this lunatic and why does he kill in such horrific fashion?

Entertainment Value: If you’ve ever wanted to watch a low rent horror movie with the production values of a homemade porno, Spine is your picture. That might sound like Spine is terrible and it is, but it is also fun to watch. Shot on video with a low budget and amateur cast & crew, Spine is a curio of the VHS days. The story is basic slasher stuff, but when the movie was too short for feature film distribution, some added scenes were shot and stitched in. This results in an already messy narrative being a total train wreck, one you can’t help but watch in horror. I had a good time watching the stilted performances and especially the work by actor who played the killer. Spine was obviously an attempt to cash in on the VHS boom, but it has remained in genre fans’ minds, while countless other pictures fell into obscurity. So no, Spine isn’t some unearthed classic, but for genre fans and those who love cinematic curios, it is worth a watch.

A couple of very brief topless shots can be seen in Spine, as well as a few other scenes that tease nudity but don’t deliver. This is a slasher movie in spirit, but not much of the slashing happens on screen. The blood is mostly seen in aftermath situations, where we just see a body with blood all over it. When the killer does strike on screen, the carnage is non graphic and again, no real “as it happens” gore is on showcase. If only this movie about a guy tearing out spines would have shown…never mind. Where Spine compensates is with a truck load of horrible dialogue with some real gems in there. The killer is a source of numerous memorable lines, all delivered in lifeless, dead pan fashion. Coochie coo, right? Aside from the production failings, Spine isn’t really crazy at all, but you have admire the creators for seeing their vision through.