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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

M is for mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
What do you see when I stand in front of you
I'll tell you what I see when I stand in front of the mirror

I see a very tired mom who is yet to get a full night's sleep
I like to work in the late hours of night when everyone is sleep and it is so quiet.
So I end up going to bed the last. But I still haven't been able to get out of the habit of waking up in the middle of night. So I'll wake up a little after midnight, walking through the house like a zombie and checking each kid to make sure they haven't thrown away their covers or rolled off the bed. And then in the morning, I'll wake up even before my alarm rings just to get a head start on the day.

I see a very guilty mom who is trying to get a handle on the mile-long pending to-do list hanging over my head. Guilty of all the promises I have made to the kids to get so many things done but realizing soon that there are only 24 hours in the day and you can get only so much done in those 24 hours. Helping the older kid create his own email , helping him on his piano lessons, helping the younger kid make her cards for the upcoming teacher's appreciation week and so much more.

I see a very anxious person who is trying best to prioritize several things in life but somehow not everything is falling into its place.

I see a very homesick person who sometimes thinks about leaving everything and going back to where she belongs: her home with the loved ones.

It's just one of those days when we I am not liking what I see in the mirror there.
Either need to change the mirror or my own perception to look at it.
The ultimate choice is mine.