In the cold wintertime, when the days are like this and the nights are like this (I know it looks beautiful, but I really do not feel comfortable while cold)

and it is not in my financial reality to get
to a place where the days are like this

and the nights are like this

one place where I can be warm and naked
and safe is in a hot shower.

I
watch the water hit me and travel down along me. I like the smells of
the shampoo and conditioner and soap,

the hot water hitting my back. I like
it hot, not warm. My skin feels so clean, the surface dirt of the day gone. My
skin gets pinkish from the heat. I like my armpit hair. The society can just
shove it with all their bullshit about what hairs women are permitted.We can each decide for ourselves.

There’s no end to ways humans make life less good for other
humans. If you don’t think we should have what we have, take it up with God. She'll 'splain it to you.

I am grateful to have
running hot water. Not everyone does.

It’s very peaceful
and tension-free to step out of the shower without any narcissist here thinking
it was all for him.

I appreciate both of you. Rhonda, everything feels bad when a circle is failing at being a triangle and feeling miserable. And everything feels less bad when a circle can just be a circle. I wish I had understood that lump in my throat I had since childhood when thinking I had to marry at some point to be a person. Ugh. Traditions can kill an individual -- literally and spiritually.

Richard, yes I have thought about it and will tell you more in person.