Skipping four of the five above questions and if you'd just like to give money, please send a check to:

Cris Formage

Epsilon Cult of America

PO Box 10012

Cayman Islands

OR FAX US AT 1-555-FUN-CULT.

PAY PAL OPTIONS ALSO COMING SOON.

How about some testimonials about the power of Kifflom!

"Kifflom changed my life. I used to have a well paid job, a family and good prospects. Now, I've given that up to find real meaning in wearing light blue and proclaiming my real religion. Kifflom!'

–Jonas Ackerman, Blueberry, San Andreas

"At first, I was nervous about giving up my identity and sleeping with all of those men, but I really enjoy it now."

–Mary Fortune, Liberty City

"Cris Formage is a genius. It's a religion without homework!"

–Morgan August, Los Santos, San Andreas.

Before surrendering to The Epsilon Program, I would've considered the above information and Kifflom itself to be part of a viral promotional campaign supporting Grand Theft Auto V. But now, I'm just happy! And much poorer! But definitely kind of happy!