Football transfer rumours: Thibaut Courtois to Manchester United?

Smell that? You smell that? Rumours, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. The Mill loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

It’s particularly whiffy around Old Trafford the noo, where Ole Gunnar Solskjær is planning to address the mess he inherited from The Artist Formerly Known As The Special One. At least five players are set to leave the club, while potential signings include Raphaël Varane – available for just £429m, or three easy instalments of £143m – Jadon Sancho, Callum Hudson-Odoi and a DeLorean that can take them back to 1999 and make all this go away.