Friday Adventure Recipe – Showing Strength

Recipe for Showing Strength

Today’s adventure recipe is a simple one, requiring little equipment. However, it has the considerable advantage of showing off your physical strength to your partner very directly, by pitting it against their own. Of course, we stack the deck by virtue of the position they are in to help ensure your strength exceeds theirs, even if you’re not necessarily stronger in real life. For the submissive partner, there’s something magical about being Dominated by someone who is physically stronger, and this adventure is designed to leverage that magic.

In addition, it provides maximal skin-to-skin contact. Unlike more complex adventures, with ropes and cuffs and floggers, you and your partner will remain close, skin-to-skin, for the duration. For that reason, in a way, this is a more intimate adventure than many others.

As usual, I write from the point of view of a male Dominant with a female submissive partner, but you could easily adjust this exercise to fit other relationship configurations if required. A female Domme with a male submissive, for instance, is quite feasible–just use your imagination.

You Will Need:

One vibrator

An old necktie

A comfortable chair with a back…a recliner, for instance, will do nicely

Instructions:

Both you and your partner should start this adventure naked. Remember, I said we’d maximize skin-on-skin? If you prefer to have your partner strip off her clothes in front of you, that’s fine, but you want her bare before you begin in earnest. No need to conceal the equipment–there is so little of it, and it seems so innocuous, that keeping it out of sight serves no purpose.

To begin, tie one end of the tie around your partner’s right wrist, and the other end of the tie around their left wrist. Make no attempt to tie the wrists close together–you’re going to want the slack.

Place the vibrator near at hand where you can reach it from a sitting position, and then sit down in the chair with your legs spread apart. Have your partner sit down in front of you between your spread legs, so that her back is against your chest. When this step is complete, you should both be sitting facing the same direction, close up against each other, like you were riding in the same log on the Flume ride at an amusement park.

Pull your partner’s hands up and back over her head, and pull the tie back over both your heads. Lean forward so that the slack of the tie comes down behind your back, then lean back to trap it in place. Lift your hands over the tie, so that it is secure behind your back and under your arms. When you are done, your partner’s hands should be bound behind her head where they can’t get in the way of the fun you’re both about to have.

Lift your legs up over your partner’s and hook your ankles behind hers. Then use the strength of your legs to spread hers apart…and keep them apart.

Now, use your hands and the vibrator to tease, caress and stimulate your partner however you see fit. Both her breasts and her genitals are fully available. With her hands bound out of the way and your legs locking hers apart, she cannot prevent you from doing whatever you want to drive her wild. My recommendation would be to begin slowly and build up the pleasure over time…perhaps starting with breasts and nipples, moving to her genitals when she’s already warmed up, and placing the vibrator where it will do the most good as she becomes fully overheated. Bear in mind that her ears and the sides of her neck are also available for your lips and tongue if those are erogenous zones for her.

Keep going until she can’t stand it and starts to resist. With Joy, this happens before she actually reaches orgasm…I generally have to fight Joy to make her come (I’ve never really understood why…she likes to come…but that’s the ways she seems to work). It may not be the same with your partner, but you’ll know when the resistance starts because she’ll try to close her legs to get away from the vibrator (which by this point is firmly placed against her swollen clitoris). Use the power of your own legs to keep your partner’s legs spread wide. If you’re having trouble, try pushing your legs down as well as apart–the friction of your feet against the chair will help you maintain control. If necessary, brace your legs against the outside edg1es of the chair to keep them separated. Keep going with the vibrator and other stimulation until you have clearly demonstrated that you are stronger that your partner and you decide that it is time to stop. Hopefully this will be well beyond the point of orgasm(s) for your partner!

After you have stopped, wrap your partner in your arms and hold her close. Kiss her neck and caress her…let her know what a good girl she has been.

Commentary:

A fun and easy add-on to this scenario is to perform it in front of the TV or a computer with “interesting” programming running where you and your partner can see it while you play. I sometimes do this with Joy when planting a seed for a future, new activity…one she’s never tried before…and choose the programming to reflect the seed I’m trying to plant. The adventure puts her in the right frame of mind to be open to new things…if you know what I mean.

One word of caution–be aware of your partner’s head! It will be placed quite close to your own, and if she tosses it around in the throes of passion, a painful impact could occur! I try to lean forward and position my head beside and slightly in front of Joy’s when we get close to the end of this adventure.

4 Comments

Thank you for your response. A bit of background. About two years ago I found out my wife was having a purely emotional affair with her first boyfriend (Who lives in a different country), she had lied to me about all sorts of things, biggish (her debts) and small. The issue of honesty is incredibly important. I looked inwards and realised that although her lying was a potential deal breaker, that I needed to step up. In the few years after we were married (22 years ago) I was a different person, I played provincial sport in two different disciplines, owned my own company and owned my own house outright by the age of 27. Political and economic reasons forced us to leave to live in the UK 8 years ago. A year ago I realised I was not the same person I had been. Self help books like ‘No more Mr nice guy’, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ and books on lying partners put me on to this way of life. I took control of the finances, decision making and the bedroom. ( In a safe, sane and consensual manner) She welcomed this and slowly the trust and honesty (she went for therapy) are coming back. The reason that this life style is so appealing is that it relies implicitly on communication and trust, and wholehearted honesty, not telling me what I want to hear. I read ‘fantasy made flesh’, a book on roleplay and it has a few exercises that help expose a persons reasons / fears why they do experiment and why you should give ‘permission’ to yourself to allow yourself to think out of the box. I do believe she is submissive and likes me to be in charge in nearly all matters. It is a little difficult having spent the last few years doing what I think makes her happy and then finding out she wants me to dominate her. We have always had a good sex life, by that I mean regular, often, with the odd blow job and anal thrown in on special occasions. When I spoke to her about the idea of a ‘taken in hand’ or D/s relationship she jumped at it. We discussed fantasies and have started acting them out. (Purely monogamous, but the fantasies includes more) Our sex life has been unbelievable, when I say that I mean it. from 19 April (the start) to 31 December 2015 we had sex 336 times together, I kept a diary (194 vaginal, 101 blowjobs, 41 anal, all to climax, I did not count if I did not finish) This year has been slightly different, not in the frequency, but me completely deciding the scene for the night (even normal missionary or a quicky counts). We have tried role play, rope play, restraints, forced orgasms and a lot of your recipes (thank you!). So why am I writing this? I feel that I am doing it all for her and not because I am in charge. I feel pressured to perform. I feel pressured to keep on thinking about the next scene. (Its not just a Friday night thing, it’s an every night thing) We talked for more than 24 hours over a 5 day period a month ago (after work and into the early hours) about exes, fantasies, communication and honesty, and we talk every week about how it is going. I feel pressured to keep the dopamine levels up. Should I change it? I don’t really need you to answer this, but any comments will be gratefully recieved. I guess that this is just me venting. I just don’t feel in charge of the monster I have created. I can have any sex in any way (within reason, legal, limits etc) at any time any place, tell her to do almost anything (We do have a negotiation form with limits, such as they are, all legal I must add). I know this will come across as being a confused rant, but seriously, she expects to give me a BJ every morning, because SHE really enjoys it and is really disappointed when I am not ready and waiting. I never thought I would have to fake tiredness to get out of a BJ, I just can’t keep up with her. This is just my comment, I hope I have not taken too much of your time.

Thanks for sharing, David, and I understand the problem. I’ve had a similar situation with Joy (though I confess, even at our height we were not having scenes and sex every single day…though I think Joy would have wanted to).

I have a couple thoughts to share. First, if you’re not already doing so, consider Dominating your wife in ways that are sexually-related, but not necessarily sex itself. This enables you to maintain dopamine levels as you desire without necessarily taking as big a toll on you, yourself. As an example, expect her to practice blowjobs daily on the suction cup dildo you have (of course you have one of these, don’t you?). When Joy and I did this, my requirement for her was, at some point during the day, without me being present, to strip to panties, stick the dildo to a wall at waist height, get on her knees and place her hands behind her back, and suck the dildo off for five minutes (timed), taking it as deeply down her throat as possible. When she did this, she’d often get so fired up that after her five minutes was up, she’d turn around and fuck the dildo until she was satisfied. Or a different example–require your wife to wear an anal plug during the day. Build up the size of the plug and the duration for which she must wear it slowly over time.

Second, find something sex-related that your wife is not eager to do (but ideally because she is embarrassed or a little afraid) and require her to do it. If she does not, discipline her. The form of discipline is up to you, but I note that spanking was not already mentioned in your list of activities. That may be a good way to go. This is where true Domination comes in, and the fact that you are “making” her do something should heighten the excitement level substantially.

And third, buy yourself a strap-on dildo if you don’t already have one. Joy and I have had many instances of outstanding sex using a strap-on dildo when I was too tired or previously satiated from an earlier adventure, and they can definitely be a useful tool!

All in all, though, I’d say you and your wife have things pretty good. Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope that all goes well! Feel free to share results if you try any of my suggestions above!

Thank you for your ideas, they work a treat, and both have enjoyed playing with them. I have a question. We are both new to this and though moving slowly and doing lots of research, combined with lots and lots of talking and communication, we are really enjoying it. I sometimes feel that she is too forward and I feel that my dominance is in question. I feel also sometimes that I am more doing what she wants and that she is controlling the scene. I need her to take this seriously and let her know who is in charge. I know it is in the training, but for me it is mental first and sex later. She is submissive in so many ways, but I feel it is an act sometimes. How do i get her to take it seriously? I got home last night and dragged her upstairs, got on top of her and kissed her hard, holding her down, she started giggling, this ruined what I thought she wanted, which was just too be taken. I know it’s fun, but I did not feel dominant. Any advice?

Thanks for your note, David, and you bring up an interesting issue. You might read my posts on “Deeper Submission” and “Achieving Deeper Submission” for some of my thoughts on this topic, but for a short and direct answer to your question, I’d say the following:

It is not possible to make someone truly submit to something they already want to do

Therefore, you must find something your wife would not easily do on her own and compel her to submit to doing it

Please note a couple things. First, I would not necessarily counsel selecting something she clearly doesn’t want to do. While there is merit and excitement for her in making her submit to an activity she doesn’t like, it’s probably not the place to start. Instead, choose something unfamiliar, something that’s on the edge of her comfort zone. Potential examples might include anything from adding a pair of nipple clamps during sex to wearing a butt plug to bed to requiring her to remove her panties and hand them to you while you are out to dinner at a restaurant. I don’t know what you’ve already done and what might be unfamiliar, but hopefully you get the idea and can pick your own activity.

If you can lead your wife right up to the edge of her comfort zone…and then just one, tiny step beyond the edge…she will be truly submitting, and you will be truly Dominating. I believe both of you will find this tremendously exciting! However, be aware that comfort zones grow and expand over time, so what was new and exciting yesterday will become familiar tomorrow. And also be careful! Note that I said “one, tiny step” beyond the edge of her comfort zone. It is very easy to go too far, take too large a step, and push your wife past excitement into fear. Tread cautiously and carefully and allow time time to pass after each step to ensure you don’t exceed this threshold.

It’s also worth reading my posts regarding “working with limits”–there are a fair number of them, and you can find them by searching at the top of the site. They would also pertain to your situation.

Hope this helps, best of luck, and hope both you and your wife have fun!

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