The world's first premium gay lifestyle blog

THE TWINK IS DEAD

What happened to all the twinks? I’m not referring to the beautiful, jacked-up 20 year-old boys who make their livings dancing half naked on podiums and posing in their underwear. I’m referring to the skinny boys in midriffs, covered in glitter who weren’t afraid to express their femininity. Ever since bigger became better and masculinity in the gay community became the norm for what is considered attractive, the image of the effeminate young gay guy who likes show tunes and tight fitting clothing has disappeared from public view. In his place are perfectly sculptured bodies of bros who dress like dudes who try to pass as jocks. With the onslaught of regularly updated images of ‘masc’ gay guys that fill our feeds and our minds and our fantasies, we have subconsciously been persuaded to value masculinity as desirable in a mate. As such, the colourful assortment of gay men that used to make up the spectrum of homosexuality has dwindled down to just a few archetypes that now form the basis of our aspirations.

The twink of yesteryear has suffered the most in the age of masculinity. Unable to grow a beard or chest hair to keep up with changing tastes, his only option is to join a gym and exercise his femininity away. Turning his back on his nature and often mocking the person he once was, the 2015 twink strives to look like the cover model of a gay magazine or a YouTube star from a homoerotic underwear advertisement. He is forced to turn to athletic enhancers to increase his size because his naturally skinny frame won’t develop as quickly as he would like. Striving for impossible perfection and acceptance, he looks to social media to parade his gains and show the world how far he has come from a girly boy to a man brimming with alluring bravado.

The twink is dead, reborn and remodelled to fit into a gay world where effeminateness makes us writher in discomfort because it highlights our own insecurities. Don’t tell me that you’ve never in your life felt slightly uncomfortable while in the presence of an overly expressive gay guy. It may have been only once, in high school, many years ago but for that one moment that flamboyant person held up a mirror to something inside of you that you didn’t like. Then again maybe you can’t relate to this experience and for that you are a better person than most because within the greater gay subconscious, flamboyance is something that makes us uneasy.

Although, maybe it’s something more than our own insecurities that make us resent feminine qualities? Something else all together? Something greater and at the same time, far worse? Maybe it is the move forward towards gay/straight equality that has altered our perception of male femininity.

Progress in social acceptance has made us strive harder to be like our straight counterparts but the victim of this social change has been the twink. There’s no place for yesterday’s twink in a gay world which wants to model itself on the straight world. Once upon a time the outrageous twink served as a big ‘up yours’ to the world of bigots, homophobes and fear mongers. ‘You don’t like gays’, he would say, ‘well look at how gay I can be’. Nowadays our mantra is ‘we are just like you’ and while our lives are in many ways better for it, diversity of expression within our own community has suffered. We have even turned in on ourselves and ostracised those who are not as quick to change. One only needs to logon to a gay dating app to see discriminatory profiles with bios such as ‘masc 4 masc’ or ‘no fems’ or ‘looking for REAL men’. This pressure from within, caused by changes from without, has forced many young gay men to conform to a narrow representation of homosexuality, one that espouses the idea that straight-acting, masculine ‘men’ are the pinnacle of desirability.

We have buried the twink of years past and in doing so we have lost a part of our own identities. We must learn again to embrace the differences within our own community by first respecting and nurturing ourselves. While it’s hard to be yourself in a straight world where they want you to be just like them, it’s even harder to be yourself in a gay world where the pressure to conform is often greater. The bravest thing you can do is to be yourself, as feminine, gay, flamboyant or naturally masculine as that may be. In doing so you will be commemorating all those twinks who have died looking for love, acceptance and bigger biceps.

This also mirrors the other side of the spectrum, where those who may be overweight feels the pressure as well. I must say that I agree. I am seeing a trend even in myself to be more masculine, to lose weight, and gain muscle. My friends who would have considered themselves twinks are now hitting the gym and striving for that Jock-ish body.
beinghemingway.com

[…] What happened to all the twinks? I’m not referring to the beautiful, jacked-up 20 year-old boys who make their livings dancing half naked on podiums and posing in their underwear. I’m referring to the skinny boys in midriffs, covered in glitter who weren’t afraid to express their femininity. Ever since bigger became better and masculinity in the gay community became the norm for what is considered attractive, the image of the effeminate young gay guy who likes show tunes and tight fitting clothing has disappeared from public view. In his place are perfectly sculptured bodies of bros who dress like dudes who try to pass as jocks. With the onslaught of regularly updated images of ‘masc’ gay guys that fill our feeds and our minds and our fantasies, we have subconsciously been persuaded to value masculinity as desirable in a mate. As such, the colourful assortment of gay men that used to make up the spectrum of homosexuality has dwindled down to just a few archetypes that now form the basis of our aspirations. […]

There have been so many articles about crap like this about these days – talking about their competition with jocks and what not, their demise etc – so bloody annoying considering not much has changed in the physical department. Maybe more muscle queens and jocks are coming out to play due to their being nights that cater to certain looks and styles; but the cliche twink still exists. And is just as prominent as he was decades ago. Lord knows why all of these articles are stating otherwise; you’d only have to go to a gay club once to see them.

Oh and that bit about effeminacy in decline is absolute bullshit. Muscles are no longer a stereotypical masculine attribute to me because of gay men (not saying it’s a bad thing) but I’ve seen plenty of beefed up feminine guys.

My husband and I read this article together, and we both agree with you I your counter point. We still see many twinks out and about, at the clubs or even at dinner. They are still ever present in our community.

Our thinking is that guys are more comfortable coming out these days. There may be more “masculine” guys who are comfortable coming out and therefore you are seeing more of them out there…the % of twinks as compared to the overall population may have gone down, but they are still very much out there.

“Unable to grow a beard or chest hair to keep up with changing tastes, his only option is to join a gym and exercise his femininity away.”

First of all, the above quote made me LOL. Secondly, this is just another article in what is still an under valued conversation we must be having. Both, within the gay community, and society at large. Personally, I have always shied away from the “Twink” label because I never identified with the personality traits that go along with twink-dom. I praise those who embody the essence of the gay sub-category. However, I have always had that qualifying term thrust upon me like it was either some crowning jewel or nasty slur. I have come to determine myself label-less (unless you look at my closet…but that’s another story!), in between, and quite frankly uninterested in the obsession of IDENTITY. I am only here to be. If you find my naturally lithe frame, penchant for style, and occasional limp wrist too much to handle in or out of the bedroom then, well…I probably have no time for you anyway.

It is frustrating and disheartening that so many men in our community seek to transform themselves to superficial ends; that we bury parts of ourselves to appeal to a general population of people who have lauded themselves for their color and diversity. When did we stop celebrating our differences? When did everyone start wanting to become a chiseled headless torso? I’m here to tell you, you are enough, and your beauty, in it’s most natural, unaltered state is exactly what the universe intended to make and it thinks you are perfect no matter what. Seek self-improvement on a personal, not public level. I don’t say this just because I wake up everyday and fight myself vs. society’s expectations, but because if you can’t find the courage to say this to yourself and KNOW it, then at least someone will. Just do you, and the universe will work the rest out.

I fear the writer’s view of the world is somewhat narrow. The term ‘Twink’ refers to any youthful male that is attractive to the masses and full of energy. We may use it as part of a phrase to determine a more specific subculture, such as euro twink, fem twink, masc twink etc but the term itself doesn’t necessarily denote feminine behaviour.

Also, there has certainly been no downturn or change in the amount of twinks anywhere near me. I agree there has been a swing in popularity toward the more muscled, gym going types, but the social magazine view is constantly changing to the latest new fad or trend, it’s hardly the battle torn war that the article suggests.

I find it rather narrow minded that the writer regularly seems to connect the term ‘gay’ to images of camp, feminine, outrageous and flamboyant homosexuals. There is a part of the community that comes under this category, but you seem to have missed out the rest of the community entirely. The majority of gay people are not camp nor are they queens and it seems to be a very ill educated view to assume that we all are.

Why do you feel the need to push people into boxes and categorise them. Does it make it easier to judge them. On numerous occasions I have been mistaken for being straight, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m not camp or flamboyant. I do however love musicals and pop music, amongst other varied styles of music, but from the outside perspective, clearly it does not define me.

To me, the writer seems to have issue with community definitions and a certain, possibly subconscious, prejudice in the stance they take.

For instance, ‘masculinity became the norm’. What exactly about homosexuality stops a man from being masculine. Just because the poor stereotype is an overtly camp one, why continue the disillusion that all gay people are the same way.

If anything this camp, effeminate stereotype of gay people has been banded about far too much to the point that most people, even some in the gay community it seems, appear to not be able to see past this view to the rest of the group and in turn tarnish everyone with the same brush, prejudging before they care to know better.

‘bros who dress like dudes who try to pass as jocks’….Last time I checked ‘dudes’ meant males and forgive me for thinking that gay men are still male, so I’d guess they would dress as males.

Also, who decided that a gay man can’t be a jock. Yet again pre-emptive stereotyping and inherent prejudice seems to be at work, perpetuating the myths.

‘the colourful assortment of gay men that used to make up the spectrum of homosexuality has dwindled down to just a few archetypes’….

I can walk out into my bustling city community and see many more gay subcultures than in the hay day of my late teens/early twenties in the ’00s. A more accepting world and an increase in rights and freedoms has brought about a much brighter world than we were in even ten years ago.

‘exercise his femininity away….turning his back on his nature and often mocking the person he once was’ …..I have to say that made me laugh. Mostly for the blatant hilarity that someone could change who they are and also the ignorance that is still perpetuating this idea that all gay people must be effeminate and slender.

On a side note, I’m sure there are many people you see out there who are built like brick sh..ugar houses that aren’t remotely masculine because, funnily enough, it does not define them.

As I continue to read the article I find a constant rhetoric of similar ideals and stigma that perpetuate this narrow view of a vibrant community.

When the writer suggests that exposure to effeminate nature makes us ‘writhe in discomfort’, I fear that they have missed the point of the issues that people raise. Inherently it tends not to be the effeminate behaviour that is the problem, it is usually the bitter diatribe that that particular person exudes, whether that be bitching about people or back stabbing. It is not the effeminate behaviour that is the inflammatory cause, it is the poisonous personality of the individual.

Aside from this sort of situation, you have the staunch homophobes. In this instance, you aren’t going to win no matter what you do. Those particular people will unfortunately be cruel whether you’re camp, masc, quiet, loud….whatever. Bizarrely enough they don’t discriminate in their bigotry.

If we are all pursuing an accepting, inclusive environment where everyone is equal, I feel we need to get past this Orwellian ‘All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others’ approach and really and truly be wholly accepting.

(‘tolerance’ is a word I have issue with. I find ‘acceptance’ should be the goal. Some may say you’ll never reach full acceptance because there will always be those that will attack, but there are many more difficult things that have been achieved that mankind dismissed as impossible).

Did you ever consider that actually, the gay community isn’t merely trying to be straight, more that they were already inherently ‘straight acting’ as they say….possibly because the behaviour has wrongly been labelled or assigned to the straight community, when in fact we are merely being human.

Have you considered that it may be the very social construct that defines people with specific code names and perceived ideas on their behaviour, that actually causes such a polarisation of the topic and forces different elements to justify their reasoning for just being an individual.

The twink is not in decline and I would have thought, never will be. It is that middle stage learning curve that we all go through where the world is opened to our eyes, we go hyper at all the new experiences and express this in our own individual ways….Finally growing into a more mature person, who is more worldly wise and though emotionally beaten….better equipped to deal with life.

It isn’t a case of ‘losing our identities’, more the fact of embracing the many other parts of our immature personality and becoming more in tune with ourselves.

Why respect and nurture ourselves as a gay community if it’s slamming a wedge between us and the rest of the world. Why conform to a gay stereotype and segregate from the rest of humanity.

Instead, focus on the individual you. Become a part of the human community and avoid putting everyone into boxes.

The twink is by no means dead. He has merely grown up and moved on with his life, only to be replaced by the new twink on the scene.

Most twinks (Dramaqueens) die the instant they understand that a self taught copycat behaviour is not making them a genuine person and therefor is hollow. I don’t think twins are feminine boys, by the way. I actually appreciate gays who are very masculine or very much in touch with their female side. I’m ok with it as long as they are themselves and pure. If you are just playing a queenish role because you are superficial, i’m ok with the ‘twinks’ to die. 😛

we are not all dead i am happy to be feminine and traditionally twink i despise muscled guys i would much rather a twink being skinny feminine and pretty guy over someone with muscle i like my guys to have bones 😛

I don’t understand the community. I for one don’t fit into any of the labels and am proud of that fact. Shouldn’t the community as a whole just be a celebration of individualism, instead of conformity? Isn’t that kinda the problem to begin with? Perhaps it’s not the twink who is gone, but the community as a whole.

The hipsters and their “fashion beard” caused this. You go to a gay bar now and wonder if you’ve mistakenly wandered into a casting call for a Wild America remake. (The original PBS series with Marty Stouffer, not the 1997 biographical movie about the orignal series which, ironically, starred Jonathan Taylor Thomas who might have been the archetypal twink.)

This is such a poorly written piece. First of all, to divide humans into social categories is exactly what feeds greater segregation. Then to mourne the loss of a stereotype? As though it’s a shame? It is disrespectful. Especially calling all others into it, blaming their supposed insecurities. Here is a tip: When you wish to write about a topic, I suggest you detach your personal experience and endeavors and take on a more objective role. Being gay has got nothing to do with any amount of glitter or hairspray… It starts and stops with your sexual attraction to the same sex. How you choose to live out your life is an entire different subject, that has got nothing to do with your sexual preference.

It’s just a form of neo-tribalism. I don’t doubt that aspects of the piece are myopic, with only tenuous examples, but I think the light touches of examining misogyny within queer culture are interesting. Tribalism is going to exist regardless of its toxic nature, the toxicity of which exists in its hierarchical nature rather than the tribes themselves being inherently bad. Self-segregation between tribes is also kind of a given, in and out of the queer community. It’s just one of those sociological phenomenon. I don’t think the twink is dead, per se, just existent in another form.

Seriously? There’s no by line on this article, but if you’re going to write about culture, you need to get some. The writer has no sense of the history of the gay community, and is just making (perhaps semi-accurate) observations of “the modern gay” word. Have you ever heard of a “Chelsea boy”? Essentially, they are the more muscled, masculine version of the former twinks that the writer is talking about–and the term has been around for about 25 years thanks to the old gayborhood in NYC. Further, the writer is has obviously not been to any gay Meccas recently (or even a medium sized city). I’m happy to report that the twink is alive and well.

The author wants more “glitter” and eccentric behaviors? What does it have to do with “true nature”? That actually sounds like the opposite of authenticity that people now try to discover. This also sounds more like a nostalgia piece for one type of esthetics and rejection of the new ones, that also has nothing to do with “true nature”

Disagree entirely. Not sure where the author is getting any of this. There is no age of hypermasculinity – instead there are more and more lines blurred when it comes to gender. Because gender norms, in themselves, are harmful to our culture. As for tastes changing, mine certainly haven’t. Nor am I hairy and I’ve had no problems with “business” slowing down.

There will always be twinks – they’re always going to be younger than you, they’re fully immersed in their own worlds (just like you and I and everyone else was once). You’re just not looking hard enough. Regardless, we have no business in their world anyway. Until they start to figure themselves out (~age 25) and become real people too. Welcome to growing up.

What an amazing article, which I partly agree with. Just recently having lived in San Francisco myself, it has become apparent that the gym body, along with the Masc 4 Masc categorization/attitude, is now an overwhelming presence in the once uber diverse gay mecca. (Pun intended) Twinks have all but been banished to the subcategory of Drag Queen, with even the Queens hitting the gym to build and tone their arms. In mainstream American media the twinks of the past decade have all to some extent bulked up, including who I considered the last twink standing Kurt Hummel (played by Chris Kolfer) the popular “Original Gay” character on Fox’s Glee (which is no longer on). I myself am categorized an otter in the gay community due to my hirsute features, which to some extend makes me feel compartmentalized into some stereotype that I must conform to. WTF homos? Really? Golden were the days when gays (& all other spectrums of the LGBTQ rainbow) could “Just Be”, instead of being tied up nice-n-neat into today’s ridiculously homogenized archetypes! WE are ALL BEAUTIFUL!

I’m so done with this anti-fem “masc” facade! Shame on you for perpetuating the ignorant and hateful stereotypes within our own community! You are destroying the gay community, not helping it! This whole article does nothing but perpetuate negative reinforcement of alternative gender identities and expressions! Makes me sick! There is no place for this attitude in the gay community!

….and for the record, being muscular DOES NOT make you butch! Lord have mercy some of these muscle queens are the biggest nellies I know of! “Masc for Masc” translates into “Fuck me quick before I fart glitter” – I love my fem boys, but nothing pisses me off quicker than one who’s trying to play butch. OWN WHO YOU ARE BABY!

Ugh articles like this make me irritated with the gay community. The fact that we even have labels to place each of us in infuriates me. I’ve never been a fan of people telling other people who they are good or bad. Anyways “Twinks” aren’t dead. They’ve evolved as a defense mechanism against many years of being physically abused, jumped, and even killed for being “who they are”. I also don’t think it’s fair to take so many stabs at those who are embracing their masculine side. Ideally, You should embrace both sides. That’s what I do. I have a problem with salty queens who feel like all gay guys are women in boys clothing and should act as such. Like, fuck you. If I want to go to the gym and get pumped and later on go in public wearing makeup and twirl in the middle of the fucking street that’s my prerogative. You don’t get to slap your meaning on what it does and doesn’t mean to be gay or bi or whatever. The author of this article tried to make embracing your masculinity seem like a bad thing. I can understand him referring to those Twinks who have grown up in a part of society where there was never any threat besides name calling here and there and thinking that they should change who they are to attract more sex partners but for some that’s just an added extra and they shouldn’t be condemned for it. If he really wants to see more Twinks represented he should go out and find them they may just not be in his area.

I feel this was written in the 90’s in South Beach, I think now is actually the opposite, with the world been more open minded I see more people being comfortable with themselves,.It is true that gay man are more masculine but also the feminine ones are not are not hiding anymore.

I’m a man in my early 30s who through natural genetics seems to be perpetually stuck with a twink bod… Small framed, smooth skinned, can count the number of hairs above my navel on one hand, and takes over a week just to grow scruff let alone think about ever growing a beard. And I’m happy to just be that instead of trying to keep up with the superficial hypermasculine trends in the gay world. I think they’ve always been there due to our insecurities as gay. The media just focuses on them now to sell a new image to sell new products just like all trends. In real life tho I still have many proud and secure twink and fem friends and I still get complimented on my youthful looks almost everyday to
the lament of them wishing they could have that too.

It all comes down to taste. Some crazy uber hyper-feminine twinkies annoy the hell out of me and others are really cute and attractive and are seductive and sexy. To each his own. Just be yourself! That’s the name of the game! I once had a boyfriend who was so feminine, a fashion designer, but he’s grown a beard, worn fur, and been completely crazy! He was sooo hot! And other times guys who are lispy, bitchy, twinky, and really feminine can be a complete turn off! Confidence is key. Everyone has their taste. To each his own.

Demographics are changing…more guys from all walks of life are coming out and expressing themselves. Just because they don’t fit the labels once used doesn’t mean they aren’t here. Also, former twinks grow up to other things and a new crop of young guys come in to define a new direction. Change is tough, but change is good.

[…] What happened to all the twinks? I’m not referring to the beautiful, jacked-up 20 year-old boys who make their livings dancing half naked on podiums and posing in their underwear. I’m referring to the skinny boys in midriffs, covered in glitter who weren’t afraid to express their femininity. Ever since bigger became better and masculinity in the gay community became the norm for what is considered attractive, the image of the effeminate young gay guy who likes show tunes and tight fitting clothing has disappeared from public view. In his place are perfectly sculptured bodies of bros who dress like dudes who try to pass as jocks. With the onslaught of regularly updated images of ‘masc’ gay guys that fill our feeds and our minds and our fantasies, we have subconsciously been persuaded to value masculinity as desirable in a mate. As such, the colourful assortment of gay men that used to make up the spectrum of homosexuality has dwindled down to just a few archetypes that now form the basis of our aspirations. […]

My brief reply – only in your dreams. I know a lot of gay people – and most still love twinks. I certainly do – I don’t care what “style” and “taste” says. Men with beards and chest hair pretending they are handsome make me want to stick needles in my eyes – and I know for a fact that I’m not alone at any age. I know teens and 20 something that feel the same – a LOT of them. All the anti-twink rage or whatever will do – is get yet more people to stick to finding folk online – which is not (in my opinion) the healthiest option.

Reblogged this on some model perceptions and commented:
Especially pertinent given the modelling world. I do hope we see more slender models who are not afraid to retain that frame into their 30s and 40s.

Hi Richard, I think it is all part of the organic flow of acceptance. 30, 50 years ago, the media image mostly was effeminate men, weak, wearing bright stand out clothes. I know there was a movement that had straight men putting on makeup and wearing the same, but they would not have had the same stigma attached to them. Society then accepted the normal gay to be like that. Now we have people like Tom Daley, Gareth Thomas etc coming out and for that older generation it really confuses them for they are not the typical “gay” as they know it. Also the stronger, Gareth Thomas type gay back then would have difficulty relating to the twink as that was not him, could not find a gay role model, and therefore played at being straight. Today the range of gay men and woman being open is more diverse, and so allows a great role model structure there for all types to relate to. There are still twinks around, I know some here as well as the rugby player, office cleric etc. So to say the twink is dead is probably not 100%, perhaps it is just the whole diversity of characters that are now confident to come forward as gay, is blending the twink from the limelight into their natural place as part of the gay community but not as the badge they once were.