Friday, July 20, 2012

I Wonder Why

The doorbell rang! The doorbell never rings. It was Ace Atkins, dropping off a late birthday present for me - the biography CLAUDIA: THE STORY OF COLONEL HARLAND SANDERS' WIFE PLUS SOME OF HER PERSONAL RECIPES by Edward G. Klemm, Jr., or as he is called on the title page, "Edward G. Klemm, Jr., Author, I WONDER WHY" (caps his). He is wearing a cowboy hat in his author photo and appears to be studying a pamphlet! There is a mysterious object in his buttonhole. Dr. Theresa got out her magnifying glass and thought it might be a piece of jewelry shaped like a chicken leg. I thought it was a skull. Could it be a flower bud? For a second I imagined he was reading CLAUDIA: THE STORY OF COLONEL HARLAND SANDERS' WIFE PLUS SOME OF HER PERSONAL RECIPES in his author photo, and that would have blown my mind like the cake with a picture of a cake on it I told you about that time. The title of Mr. Klemm's other book, I WONDER WHY, makes me think of the character in MASTERS OF ATLANTIS who wrote the books HERE COMES GRAMPS! and SO THIS IS OMAHA! (Exclamation points Charles Portis's.) Also in the gift bag: a most hideous figurine of a toad dressed as late-period Elvis. "It looks like it's made of melted candy," observed Dr. Theresa. To which I replied, "I don't know where to put it." "In a grave," suggested Dr. Theresa.