Today I want to add a new part to my log. Something I am working on very hard. Ever since I was little dealing with my medical condition and with my relentless peers caused a lot of distress to me, to the point where I developed anger issues. Anger issues I am still dealing with today. I can become relentless, angry, cruel, and mean when I lose control. I am guilty of not being a nice man at times.

This is not right. This is a bastardization of how my mother raised me, and what this society needs is not another jerk, but a gentle soul to guide people along and nudge them in the right direction.

With a new blossoming relationships in my life I've begun to gain control of my emotions. I am finding a deeper sense of inner peace and control and I have made it my goal to keep it this way.

Typing this out helps me because I am learning what helps me gain control and what doesn't. Forcing an un natural demeanor seems to work for a while, then it builds up and I snap again. Hiding my true personality behind a bubbly exterior is just as much of a lie as being a mean grouch. Telling people how it is, it is not me being mean, but just a clause of my personality, I am very straight forward and often times while correcting my anger issues I have surpressed this. The more I let my true self shine out, the more days I get under my belt of being patient, clam, and compassionate, the easier it gets.

I attribute this to a woman who has entered my life. I am now finding it much easier to hold true to the path and correct my emotional issues and I want to document it here to help me hash it out in writing.

at least you know when your being angry etc, most people dont and their the jerks not you! im trying to not go off on a rant about society here so ill stop and not clog up your journal good luck with you future plans, training and relationship

"iam the strongest one! iam the viking!" - jon pall sigmarsson“may all of your dreams and ambitions happen, but most important, may all of your enemies die"www.infowars.com