July 16, 2012

At last year’s Super Conference, I was working with a client who told me he was really good with women, but he wasn’t dating any “9s or 10s” – exceptionally beautiful or high-value women like models, actresses, and so on. Within 20 minutes at the nightclub, it was obvious why. He wasn’t approaching women like these.

99% of the time with high-quality women, you’re going to have to make the first move. If you want a blonde, approach blondes. If you want a woman with a brain, approach intelligent-looking women. And if you want a 10, approach 10s.

Practice Pickup

Of course you have to approach 10's to get a 10, but you also have to practice picking up higher-value women if you want to get good at picking up higher-value women. A playboy model has a more attractive lifestyle as the cute girl next door. The overall Love Systems approach still works, but the pacing and nuances change. Most men need practice and experience before they got good at dating 9s and 10s. I sure did.

Display High Value

Another reason why you should only approach high-value women is that who you approach tells women a lot about you. Who you approach (sober) tells everyone in the room what kind of woman you think you’re “worth”. If you approach women but stay away from the hottest ones, you’re telling every woman in the room what kind of woman you think you’re “worth”. Women don’t have time to get to know every guy who crosses their path, so they make a lot of use of signals that men give off. This is why learning good body language, having social proof and good fashion are so important. As is who you approach.

Stop Supplicating

High-value women tend to have different (and interesting) lives. Faced with a 10, you might be dying to ask her what Hugh Hefner is really like or about the various parties she’s been to. Don’t. You don’t want her thinking that you’ve never had a conversation with a woman on her level before.

Let me explain. Most 10s don’t go out with a checklist for the guys they meet with criteria like “must have dated other 10s”. But at the same time, Love Systems techniques like pre-selection and social proof work because women implicitly use other women’s judgment to narrow the field. If no other woman on her level has found you interesting, then she’s not going to let herself get attraction very easily.

Besides, getting asked a lot of questions is boring and tells her nothing about you. Be sure to alternate questions and statements. Or, if you want to know something about her, guess (or make a cold read). Do you know any beautiful women who say, “I really liked that guy last night, I mean, I don’t know much about him, but he asked me so many questions about myself!” Me neither.

Ask the Top Dating Coaches

We’ve been talking a lot about dating higher-quality women this month because that’s the featured topic right now for the interview series. If you’re looking for the low-down on how to date and attract higher-value women – an hour from masters Jeremy Soul and Nick Hoss as opposed to a few paragraphs here – I can’t recommend this enough. In addition to the kind of stuff we’ve already been talking about, the interview includes:

How to assess “quality” and what signs and signals to look for

Where to find higher-quality women

Handling insecurity and inner game issues when picking up 9s and 10s

How to use your social circle (and how not to) to attract higher-value women