Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

How

How can you get out of a bad relationship when you have young kids and all of your money is tied up together...all of your security? How can you get out safely when in reality there is really no one there to protect you?

You start by making a plan. Contact shelters. You can work around the $$ tied up together. When I left my first husband, he had kept a tight reign on the $$. I would always write the check over the amount by $10 or $20. I saved enough to leave him. Now aday it is even easier. When you go to a store, swipe your card and take out extra cash.

Contact a shelter, look into apartments and housing for rent. Find out how much everything cost, how much you will need etc....

Just start planning. Every journey begins with a &quot;first step&quot;.

When you contact shelters, see if they have a counselor. You need someone on your side who knows what the resources are in your area, who has done this before or helped someone do it before.

Right now, you're at the beginning of a journey that looks very scary. Since you've been in abusive relationship, your perspective may be skewed. (That's how abuser's control us...by screwing with the way we see the world.)

If you've got someone on your side who has been through it, they can guide you through and also help you regain a more balanced perspective.

Yes, make a plan. Tame has good advice on the money. I saved $1100 stashing away between $5 to $50 at a time...I hit it, in the pocket of an old coat, in an envelope taped to the back of a dresser drawer.

I also got a PO box in my name only. I applied for and got a credit card in my name only.

Start copying all the records you can and put them somewhere safe. Maybe a friends house, I sent them to my sister to keep for me. This includes bank statements, any mortgages, pension, IRA's. Anything you can imagine may help you.

Lastly, you need to document the abuse. I hope you have kept a journal. If not, start one immediately. Record everything in detail that you can remember. Dates, times, reactions....everything. and keep it up while you execute your plan. Journals can be immensely important in court.

If your husband has been your sole support, and esp. if you can prove abuse, the court may be more inclined to award you temporary alimony. But you will need to be able to get by until you can get to court...and you will need a lawyer. Talk to a lawyer before you leave (that's what I used the credit card for), to make sure you line your ducks up before you go.

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