"OMG, our beloved Emperor is gone! (sorta') But don't worry: the Democrats are fanning the flames of crazy, so it's just a matter of time before they run things again."

Saturday, February 14

5 million new Dem voters at the stroke of a pen!

A couple of years ago Obama issued an executive order that allowed illegal immigrants who had been brought to the U.S. by their illegal parents when they were under 16 years old or so to stay in the U.S. forever.

Of course Obama's order carefully avoided saying "forever," but the regulations issued by his administration said "indefinitely." If you can find a distinction between those two terms, let me know.

Realists immediately predicted that this was just the start--that Obama would quickly follow up by issueing more executive orders expanding the program to allow parents and relatives of the illegal "children" to come to the U.S.--again,"indefinitely."

Sure enough, the emperor's regime is now executing plans for a new order from the emperor, called "Deferred Action for Parents of Americans." This imperial order allows parents of "U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents" to stay in the U.S. for up to three years. (Was originally two years but when the emperor realized he wouldn't be impeached for that, he upped it to three years. Yay, unilateral action!)

Now let me explain how the game works: Illegals who came to the U.S. and dropped an "anchor baby" will now qualify to stay in the U.S.

"Wait," you say, "The order only allows them to stay for three years! So that's not, you know, permanent! So shut up you dumb hater!"

Ah, I see you haven't been in the country very long. Or you're 15 years old. Or a Democrat. Because if you think Obama and the Dems will reverse course and deport ANY of these wonderful Democrat voters at the end of three years, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you. I don't know of a single government program that has EVER been reversed three years later.

You've already heard the wailing and screaming from those pushing for unlimited immigration saying "You just can't separate families!!!" even though the family put themselves in a bind by entering the U.S. illegally in the first place. Plus, who's breaking up a family? There's nothing to stop illegal parents from taking their kids home with 'em. But of course that would eliminate the tear-jerking, tragic aspect of the proposed action. Can't have that!

But we're just getting started. Next step is when Obama issues an order giveing the illegal kids who've been given amnesty under "Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals" "legal permanent resident" status. After all, since they can already stay "indefinitely," that's merely a formality--an "insignificant distinction." At least that's how it'll be phrased by Team Obama.

And that, of course, will vastly expand the number of illegals who qualify for the "Deferred Action for Parents of Americans" program.

Think this is just a scare story? Consider that DHS has already leased a massive office building in Crystal City, Virginia, just
across the Potomac River from Washington, where a thousand federal
workers and a thousand more contractors will process applications. DHS predicts as many as 1.3 million people may apply in the first six months alone.

Sweet, huh? By a stroke of his imperial pen, Obama will have added something like 5 million new Democrat voters to the rolls.

And every one of 'em will be eligible for thousands of dollars in payments--cunningly mis-named as "Earned Income Tax Credits" (but are actually cash payments)--just for bringing their kids to the U.S. illegally. Brilliant!

But don't worry, citizen--those payments won't cost taxpayers a dime. The emperor just directs the treasury to print whatever money is needed. That's the way it's always been.

And you can believe us. Really. After all, has the emperor ever lied to you before? His administration is certainly the "most transparent in history," right? And he was ever so good about investigating that trivial little non-issue about the IRS investigating some subversive right-wing organizations who were trying to apply for tax-exempt status. In fact you've forgotten all about that, because it was much ado about nothing, right? No one even remembers who Lois Lerner was, right?

And he fulfilled his promise to withdraw all American forces from Iraq, right? Right? Ya gotta admit he sure did that. Ended that long Rethuglican war. Of course things are still a bit unsettled over there, and we might be sending troops back in again. But don't worry--he's ordered 'em not to shoot back if they're shot at. Besides, ISIS is just a JV team, so...no worries!

And look how well Obamacare is working now! Critics of the emperor said you'd end up paying more for health insurance, and that companies that offered health insurance would cancel it. And that the law would force churches to violate their beliefs by forcing them to offer "morning-after pills" to employees. But none of that turned out to be...more than a minor inconvenience.

I mean, we just had a federal judge issue an opinion that forcing churches to do that didn't constitute a "significant burden" on their religious freedom. So there ya go, citizen!

Besides, people who complain about the emperor's policies just do that because they hate him, because he's a person of color.

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About Me

Ex-AF pilot. While airliners are very safe, flying a single-pilot jet can be extremely demanding, especially in bad weather. It's a *huge* tribute to engineers that today's commercial jetliners are so amazingly safe!