So when I first started a blog I told myslf there were certain rules I would abide to. I would post at least once a week. I wouldn’t mention my son at all and I wouldn’t do meme’s. Like most rules I make up for myself there was absolutely no logic behind this what so ever, so when Thefabulousmomsguide tagged me into this meme I thought it would probably make more sense to do it that to refuse for a rule I made up for no reason.

So here we go, these are the ten things I tell myself everyday;

1) Do not make stupid rules to live by for no reason. They will ostracise you from polite society and make you look like a twit.

2) WordPress is designed in a way specifically to annoy you. It is not just you. In some countries they probably us wordpress as a form of torture.

3) Chocolate sprinkles on skinny lattes are calorie free. Even if they are an inch thick.

4) (At 8am) Today is the day I am finally going to get on top of the housework. Definitely.

5) (At mid-day) Today is the day I am going to get on top of most of the housework. Definitely. Except for the ironing. And obviously the hoovering. Probably not going to get round to fixing the door locks either but the rest will get done.

Today may be the day the hoover escapes from under the bed. Or it may not be...

6) (At 8pm) Today is the day I am going to get absolutely no housework done. I will however panic clean for ten minutes then blame my husband / child / cat for the ensuing chaos.

7) My hair is not messy. It is interesting, verging on artistic.

8) Nobody ever lied on their deathbed and wished they’d spent more time in the office.

9) To the best of my knowledge, nobody ever lied on their deathbed wishing they’d spent more time messing about on the internet. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to risk being that person.

10) Rice cakes are for toddlers, large scale flapjack consumption marks me out as a grown up.

Done, phew! Off to avoid some more housework and think about my next project, but in the meantime I’m going to tag:

Regular readers (hello mum) will know that my son Jacob is not the world’s greatest eater. Most of the time it doesn’t worry me as I know that most toddlers can be a bit fussy, but some days his decision to only eat a yogurt and a crust of bread drives me to what I’ll politely refer to ‘mild angst’.

Like a lot of mums, I’m always tempted to just go down the chicken nugets route as I hate spending ages cooking something for it to be refused (that’ll be another ‘mild angst’ moment there) but with the exception of Official Saviours of the Crafts on Sea Household (that’s fish fingers to you) I try to avoid anything too junky. This recipe is from my lovely friend Louise Harris who teaches crafts, cooking and gardening at The Storehouse in Southend. Its not too fussy to make and as I’ve made it three times in the last week I figured this makes it successful enough that I should share it!

Guilt Free Pizza – Enough for one adult and one child

Ready to cook

250-300g plain flour

A pinch of salt

A pinch of sugar

1/4 teaspoon dried yeast

80ml hand hot water

1 teaspoon oil

2 blobs tomato puree

Cheese (mozerella, or cheddar, whatever is in your fridge)

Whatever veg, meat or anything else you think you can sneak into your child

1) Mix together the flour, salt, sugar and yeast, then mix in the water until it is like a dough

2) Add the oil and need for ten minutes (I do this one handed and use my clean hand for looking online on my phone)

3) Leave to rest for five to ten minutes

4) Oil a bit of foil or baking tray , roll out the pizza onto this

5) Mix your tomato puree with a bit of water to make a paste and spread this over your pizza. Add your cheese and whatever bits and bobs you’ve found in your fridge that need eating. I added mushrooms, which went down ok and red onion which was instantly picked off and thrown over the side of the highchair.

6) Pop in the over for about 20 mins 180c. I’m afraid Louise’s instructions didn’t go as far as cooking details so I make it up each time and just keep an on the over. Sorry, I’m sure Delia write similar things in her books though, right?!

Jacob is 15 months old and I still haven’t finished decorating his room. Still, my reasoning is if Kerry Katona can win Mum of the Year I’m not doing that badly, but anyway I digress…

Bunting is a really quick and easy way to brighten up a child’s room and this is the easiest and quickest way of all. In total, it took me less than an hour to make and that included drinking a cup of tea. Perfect, if you want to do something handmade for your kids but still to want to have time to chill out in the evening. View Post

And you know what? Ruddy thing still looks like it could do with some more. Both the fabric and pattern are by Lotta Jansdotta who normally I love, and who I suppose I still do love, but as I made this so the Small Thing would stop trying to knock himself out cold with my current one (a big rope thing, which while still heavy is a bit better than my pre-child big rock) its umm… possibly not quite the one.

So for now it stays in place, and damn it it does look pretty nice y’know? But I think I need to go away and plan a doorstop that’s child friendly and that I can post the instructions for. Will get back to you when it’s ready to go!

The small thing is not the greatest eater. I’ve tried Baby Led Weaning, I’ve tried Annabel Karmel, I’ve tried softly weeping while he won’t even look at something beautiful from the River Cottage book that took me hours to make. His favourite meal would probably be rice cakes and water. In essence it’s like living with a fourteen year old girl.

But what a shock, he likes cakes! Pfft… This contains two types of fruit and therefore must be pretty close to being nutritionally perfect, right?

4oz butter or margarine
6oz any sugar you can find
8oz self raising flour
2 eggs
2 or 3 very ripe bananas
A couple of handfuls of raisins

Heat the oven to gas mark 4; 180C
Grease a loaf tin.
Mash the bananas
Cream the butter and sugar together and mix in the eggs
Mix together the two yellow sludges and the raisins
Mix in the flour.
Scrape into the loaf tin and bake for 40 minutes. Check it’s cooked by popping a knife through the centre and if it doesn’t come out clean then then lower the temperature to gas mark 2; 150C and cook for a further 30 minutes.

Wait for it to cool slightly then pop out onto a wire tray and then eat. You could wait until it’s properly cool first but I’ve yet to manage this…