Oh no, they're back! The whole Goob family tree has now surrounded me and I won't lie … I feel threatened. I actually have a bottle of free Vaseline Intensive Rescue lotion within arm's reach, but how do I use it to rescue myself? Squirt it in their eyes? Use it as a blunt object? Maybe … Wait a minute.

They have pie! Check that, pies. Plural! As in more than one pie! I am so outta here.

About Goob

A world renowned slalom skier, fluent speaker of 14 languages, and freebie hunter. Only one of those is true, but it makes my biography look much fuller. In my spare time, I enjoy launching my own space program and disproving the Coriolis effect.

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