Trophies and Stuff

Let’s have a blorgy, shall we?

In case you’re not familiar with what a blorgy is — its a blogger orgy — a love fest, where awards are handed out and egos are stroked. Let’s spread the butter and make known a bunch of people that I think deserve to be mentioned, and mentioned back. Before you take your seat at the ceremony, grab a box of tissues (and/or a box of condoms) and lets get this k-y jelly party hot and steamy already. I’d like to now present to you a collection of the finest, loveliest, most fan-fucking-tastic people to ever walk to face of the earth.

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AMooreOn, author of the blog Richly Bizarre, was kind enough to pass the Liebster to this dweebster. What a doll. She’s a mother of five. Wow. Bless her for it. I think that’s why she follows me. She bitches vicariously through my blog. By the way, I think that’s how many kids were in the Brady Bunch household? Her obsessive-compulsive nature leads me to believe that she’d make a great neighbor. While the rest of the hood goes to shit, there she is– watering the annuals, and fine-tuning the lawn with a pair of kitchen shears. Take notes scumbag neighbors. As if that isn’t over-the-top enough, she’s also a fan of steamed broccoli, which means that she likes to eat foods that smell like farts. I tip my cap to you sweetie. Then again, who doesn’t love a bowl full of greenery that smells like human bi-product? A fair warning though, she’s not all sugar, spice, and everything nice. Don’t piss off this speed queen, because she’ll probably run you off the road and spit in your eyeball while you’re pinned underneath a car fire. She’s tough as nails and has a bit of raging maniac inside waiting to be fully unleashed…

Thank you for your kind words, for thinking of me, and for putting up with my bitching. You’re not a moron. You rock. \M/

And the Liebster Award goes to:

1.) Rambles by Desert Rose — She’s one of my daily stops and my favorite Aussie-chick by far. She even takes requests! How could I let that go unmentioned? She’s an old soul. I can tell through her writings. Most of all, she’s such a beautiful, well-rounded person. I always read her writings, but love listening to her voice even more. Check out her music. She even wrote a song about boobs (which is still stuck in my head, thank you). That sealed the deal for me. Fan for life. Thank you so much for being an inspiration and please continue to create.

2.) Adlibb3d — I call him the King of Queens because he reminds me of the stereo-typical sitcom dad. It’ll make sense when you come to understand the relationship between him and his girls. What a fantastic, dynamic writer. I have a hard time getting through his stuff without stopping because I’m usually beside myself. One-liner after one-liner. A guaranteed laugh every time. He’s quick, so you gotta be on your toes when you read. Thank you sir for keeping me sharp.

3.) Bring Me the Head of David Dixon — This is the only comic strip blog I follow. I just found out about him recently, but I just can’t let him slip through the cracks. It’s so simple, yet so brilliantly effective and funny. I can’t explain it. You’ll just have to see for yourself. It’s something about the pause that speaks volumes. Thank you for the laughs. I can’t wait for more.

If you’d like to pass on the Liebster, give it to 3-5 of your favorite bloggers that have under 200 fans. Then write ten questions, answer them, blah blah blah. Reminds me of a chain email. Ok, I forgot the rules. Fuck it. Enjoy the fifteen seconds of fame.

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Thanks to Nick, the author of the blog: Talkin’ Shit for bestowing upon me The {Booker} Award. Talkin’ Shit is one of the blogs that I keep an eye out for in my reader. Actually, when I first started doing this, he was one of the guys that helped inspire my blog – that’s no lie. Give credit where credit is due. He has an assertive, yet compassionate voice when he delivers on his topics. That’s why I follow him. I would encourage the sensitive reader to look past the abrasive title, and find within it a series of deep and genuine writings. Life is packed full of so much more than what’s visible on the surface – his posts are reflective of that. He’s is the type of person that says what needs to be said, and I find that admirable. Being politically correct sucks. Nick’s blog doesn’t. A good majority of people seem to hold back when they write — that’s what separates him from most. There are times when his words are just downright heart-wrenching and real. One post in particular stands out that I still haven’t forgotten. Out of respect for the personal nature of the story, I’ll leave it to be discovered. Keep an eye out for the “Douche of the Week” – great stuff! Thanks again Nick — you rock.

2.) The B(itch) Log – Heather is a must read. She’s a misanthropist to the core, which makes for some great stories. Her stuff falls into the “mommy blog” genre. Whether you have kids or not, doesn’t matter — read it. She doesn’t hold anything back — judge for yourself. Notable post: Food Nazis

3.) Seasons of Insanity – This guy was my first fan. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. I never really got into the whole zombie apocalypse thing until I started reading Radar’s stuff — now I’m hooked. Each week he posts a continuation to the story, and I’m right behind him reading it. I hope it takes off. Cheers to you sir, congrats on the milestone(s). Notable Post: Day 67: A Zombie Apocalypse (backtrack, follow all)

4.) Life and Other Tales – This is one of my all time favorites. She is an amazing poet and storyteller. Her stuff is packed full of great imagery and emotion — I’m always looking for her stuff. You should too. Plus, she’s always the first one to hump my blog whenever I post — what a doll. Notable Post: After the Storm

5.) Single Girl Blogging – This chick is a riot. I hope for my own selfish sake she stays single forever, because it’s resulted in a great blog. I think she belongs in Cosmopolitan or something like that — she’s definitely got a columnist-type style about her writing. Super witty, no discretion, and raunchy as hell. Notable Post: WTF is Victoria Beckham’s Problem?

If you’d like to Share the {Booker} Award: 1.) Thank the person that gave it to you, 2.) List a few books that have inspired your life and writing, 3.) Pass it on to 5 of your favorite bloggers.

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A huge thank you to The Cheeky Diva for recognizing me with the Blogger Idol Award. I’m still kind of surprised that she even knew who the hell I was? On the other hand, I’d be shocked if you’re not familiar with her already. In case you’re not, allow me to introduce. She’s a sharp-tongued, mouthy little mid-westerner known for being a lovable ditz. I love reading all of her quirky compilations, but her weekly Thursday Haiku Madness is one of her best. Its wildly popular. It’s true, all the cool kids are doing it. I do? Drop by for a stab at it. Once you do, you’ll be hooked. She’s my new partner in crime too — possibly even a blood relative somewhere down the line. I’m looking into it at the moment. I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted. Keep an eye out for Cheeky n’ Me in the coming weeks. We’ll be hosting a weekly romp together that you won’t want to miss. Your Sundays will never be the same…Thank you Cheeky, you’re a Diva indeed.

And the Blogger Idol Award goes to:

1.) Thomas Cotterill — My man Thomas is on another level. He’s a philosophizer, and a damn good one at that. I read a lot of his stuff, but frankly, I’m too intimidated to even comment half the time. He’s an absolutely brilliant writer, and his page deserves to be both recognized and read. Thank you Thomas for your mind-expanding thoughts and impeccable writing.

2.) Alien Red Queen — Another excellent writer. She does it all — essays, humor, fiction — and does it well. I always look for her posts in my reader. Do not start a debate with her — she will crush you. I guarantee it. She’s opinionated and headstrong — two admirable traits. Join the hive.

3.) Wholey Jeans — Jean is a thinker. Look deep into her writings. There is a lot going on inside of her work. I always try to put it all together like a puzzle when I read her stuff. I wish she would post more. Thank you Jean.

4.) A Clown on Fire — Le Clown is an incredibly complex character. At first glance, I thought he was just a court jester (though, an incredibly brilliant one at that). What a disservice my perception would have done. Le Clown is deep — multi-layered — both passionate, and compassionate, equally. He’s an admirer of beauty as well as a creator of it. The piece written about his father is one of the most touching pieces I’ve read yet. If you aren’t moved by it, I would question your humanity. You must read and follow to understand. I love you Le Clown, but not in a homosexual way. Throw the Idol Award in the garbage for all I care. But, know that you have touched many people, including me.

If you’d like to share the Blogger Idol Award: highlight four bloggers that you admire. Pay it forward. No questions.

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The Reader Appreciation Award was given to me by my homeboy Radar Nelson, author of the blog Seasons of Insanity. Radar is a Zombie Apocalypse writer. I’m a big fan. I’ve been pushing him to clean it up and publish it. His journalistic style when writing his pieces is something truly unique — something that I haven’t come across yet. Radar, when you finally follow through with it, drop me a link. I’ll send you your first dollar bill to have mounted on the wall next to your writing desk. Thanks man, and sorry that its taken this long to rightfully acknowledge you. Cheers! \M/

And the Reader Appreciation Award goes to:

1.) Another Wandering Soul — Miriam, you’ve been such a faithful follower of mine regardless of what I write. More importantly though, you have been such a huge inspiration to me — well beyond the writing aspects. Your words have not only inspired my words, but have also inspired me as a person. My vision is different now because of you. You’ve taught me so much in such a short amount of time, and have helped open my eyes to things that I was afraid to see. From the bottom of my heart, Danke schon.

2.) Blather Bubble Blog — How in the hell could I not recognize you, Elinore? I should be paying you. You’re one of my top promoters on Facebook and Twitter. I can’t thank you enough for the high praise. Your viewership is greatly appreciated. I’m glad that you follow along, and I’m happy to make you laugh.

3.) Sage Doyle — Sage, I appreciate the fact that you actually took the time to drop something in the old suggestion box. I appreciate your viewership too. I notice things. I also read your poetry daily. Thank you for your beautiful pieces.

4.) Yessie — I can always count on Yessie from the other side of the globe to drop by after a post. She’s a wonderful poet. Keep your head up. I’ll drop by whenever I see ya.

5.) Richly Bizarre — How could I not pay it back? I always notice when you drop by. I think you’re hilarious. Post more stories. And for god sake, tell those kids to stop licking the damn windows!

6.) Jenn’s Midlife Crisis — Thank you Jenn for always stopping by. You’ve been a faithful follower for a long time, and I appreciate it. I was genuinely happy to see that you stepped up to the stage. I hope I was able to inspire…

7.) Spirit Lights the Way — Nancy, we haven’t known each other long, but I recognize a great spirit when I run into one. Thanks for your enthusiasm and engagement. I’m looking forward to sharing and reading many more pieces together.

8.) David Eric Cummins — I have to give you mad props for making it all the way through the longest, but most important post I’ve put together to date. It means a hell of a lot to me. Thank you for reading The Conductor. I’m not sure you’re gonna dig having a flower on your page though…

9.) Coconut Speak — You’ve been a follower since day one. Thank you for always popping in. Please, continue. You are one of the few poetry blogs that I follow, but I thoroughly enjoy it.

10.) My Multiple Lives — Thank you Lu, for being a long-time inspiration. I miss our chats together. I hope we can get together soon to broaden our minds once again…

If you’d like to pass on the Reader Appreciation Award, highlight ten faithful bloggers. After you’ve done that, answer a bunch of bullshit questions that I didn’t provide for you. You’re welcome.

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I won The Alan Smithee Blog Award at a midway game featured at Le Clown’s circus. It was an easy game. No challenge. Thank you for making me feel like a fucking winner — every day. I keep this award on my writing desk to remind me of that. You should play the game as well. Who knows, maybe you’ll come out a winner too?

If you’d like to have my Alan Smithee Blog Award, tough shit. I won it fair and square. Get your own award.

****Next Generation Blorgy****

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The Cheeky Diva nominated me for The Family of Bloggers Award. It’s a stupid looking award. But, I love her nonetheless. It was a thoughtful gesture. Here’s what she said: “This one was easy…Who doesn’t need more family…And who doesn’t need at least a couple more brothers? Snarky, funny, or just plain crazy.” I’m not sure which category I fit into. Probably “Crazy”. Thanks Cheeky! \M/

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Shanny Girl from Champagne All Around nominated me for the Blog of the Year Award. She’s obviously delusional. But I’ll take it! Here’s what she had to say: “My Right to Bitch: this guy kills me! Every time I read his blog I know I’m gonna laugh.” You’re right about one thing Shanny, I do kill people in my spare time. Champagne all around? Yes. Please. Thanks Shanny, you rock. \M/

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Sage Doyle nominated me for the Blog of the Year Award, too. Yesssssss sir. I’m now two votes closer to dominating the entire fucking world. Sage is a classy poet, and quite frankly, I’m not sure exactly why he reads me? Let’s put it like this: He’s the guy reading classic novels and smoking a tobbaco pipe next to the hearth in his Mahogany library; I’m the the bastard kid outside lighting frogs on fire, doing lawn jobs, and smoking a gigantic bowl of weed. Either way, Sage, you rock. Thank you. \M/

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Combat Babe nominated me for the Sunshine Award. I’m diggin’ on the irony here on so many levels. Every time we talk it always escalates into a fist fight. Jerry Springer-ish. Hence the name: Combat Babe. She’s a trooper alright. I admire her tenacity and fucking downright abrasiveness. Here’s what she had to say: “My Right To Bitch: Adam S., curator of the blog I met through the link below…We are best friends. Stay tuned for our Happily Ever After.” I’m patiently waiting for that day to come. In the meantime, I’m gonna work on my left hook, right uppercut combo. Thank you feisty one. \M/

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Miss Hold On To Your Pants nominated me for this Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I like the idea of someone telling me to hold on to my pants, by the way. When someone tells you to hold on to your pants, usually something good is about to happen. Here’s what she had to say: “………………………………..” I’m holding on to my pants, Miss Hold On To Your Pants. Thanks for the nod, chick. \M/

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DIY2EMC also nominated me for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Every time I see “DIY”, I always think of that awkward bookstore scene in The Forty Year Old Virgin: “So, do you like to do it yourself? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.” Thanks for the nod, chick. You’re a super talent, and extremely creative. And I cannot figure out for the life of me how I inspired you. A classic example of Beauty and the Beast. Thanks for the nod, chick. Here’s one back. \M/

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Jean, the author of Wholey Jeans, nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I’m noticing a trend here. The people have spoken. She is a pretty cool chick, and a gifted writer as well. You can have this one back, Jean. I’m giving it to you right now. Take it! She said this: “Adam S., easily one of the funniest ranters in the world. Yes, the world…Adam inspired me with his comments to write more. He makes me feel “heard” and encourages conversation at any site he visits.” That was cool. Thank you Jean, you rock my world. \M/

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Marsha Marsha Marsha Lee nominated me for this Wonderful Team Member Award because of my awesome grocery bagging skills. She’s my manager at CostGo, and I’m glad that she finally recognized my outstanding work ethic. Still waiting on my employee of the month parking pass though…Here’s what Marsha said: “As I meet new bloggers, I am always impressed by, not only creative blogs, but those blogs that can create readership, and participate as engaged readers in others’ blogs. That is the reason I have nominated you for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award. Enjoy it as a compliment.” Compliment taken. Thanks Marsha, see you at work later on.

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Walk Ten Paces nominated me for this highly fashionable, semi Oscar-like Liebster Award. It’s a lot cooler looking than that stupid looking POS that The Cheeky Diva gave me. God, I can’t get over it. I’m sorry Cheeky, it’s not your fault. Anyways, I thought this was pretty cool: “My Right to Bitch: Read it, I’ve got no words – there’s a sweetheart beneath the cursing.”

You’re Fucking God Damn right there is! Thanks for the nod, chick. \M/

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Fat Bottomed Girl nominated me for this Valentine’s Day Card edition of the Liebster. Very cute photo shopping, I must say. I like her spunk. She’s fearless, and I very much admire her potty mouth. I think that’s why we get along so well. Bless you and your foul mouth. Here’s a great example of why I like her: “Pass them on or don’t pass them on. Cuss me or thank me. Just remember, I didn’t start this shit, I am merely being generous in this wonderful season of giving.” Ok, so then fuck you! Just kidding. Fat Bottomed Girl, you make the rockin’ world go round. Now get on your bike and ride!

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My Aussie friend, Rambles by Desertrose, nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award because when I’m not trying excruciatingly hard to be funny, I’m talking about depressing things and anxiety. That, I think anyways, makes me a worthy candidate of the tag: “Versatile”. Right on. She said it herself: “Adam S is a deep thinker, very funny and I always look forward to his posts, which I believe qualify him as “Versatile”. See? We’re on the same page. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oye! Oye! Oye! Thanks, Tracy. \M/

Why thank you my friend! I don’t think anyone has called me wildly popular since my virtue was under scrutiny in high school. So looking forward to our coffee chats. They will go down in history as the best co-host schtick since Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd! 😉

Adam ~ this is the BEST way I’ve seen yet to handle awards in the blogosphere. What a neat, tidy, and beautiful Trophy Case ~ perfect to display awards, thank the givers, bestoy them on others . . . and spread the joy.

Thanks for the shout out.
I hope that we’ll be reading and appeciating each other’s words for some time. 😀

Why not horse shit? Jules, you and me have a long ways to go together. I love your sense of humor. I have something special I’m putting together for you. You’ll be the first to know. Don’t stop being a smartass — we’re on the same level yo — I totally “get” you..

Doing the happy dance in and around kitty/dog toys strewn on my flat floor. Your words have started my day much better than the original start of my day at 4-30a blowing my nose and feeling like head-cold crap.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou I just so enjoy your view…I think you’ve healed me. No doubt about me being in love with you…

~Sniff, Sniff~ That may just be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me…
You know what I like best about this??? Usually, as you mentioned, these things are no more than chain mail, but you put so much thought into each person you chose and the reasons behind it, this post alone must have took you forever! I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say thanks for taking the time to appreciate other writers, and in more than just a passing way. You’re bitchin’.!

Queenie, don’t cry — you rock! I completely agree. I think the award thing is kind of cornballish to the core, but I really like all you guys a lot for different reasons. You’re very welcome. You’ve been cemented on the blogosphere until the very end of it. Keep it rollin! — especially the fiction stuff!

Literally laughed my ass off at that beautiful description of me. (with complete howling and weird/scared looks from children) You nailed it, btw. I now it want it to be my obituary – or at the very least, you’re writing it. The Brady’s had 6 kids and a nanny. I MIGHT consider having another under the condition I get the nanny. Maybe. For now, I’m off to eat a bowl of predator deterrant greenery. Steamed. And definitely will be checking out some of these blogs you mentioned. 🙂

I was laughing when I was writing it! The more I wrote, the more I could totally picture you doing all that. You and your tupperware tubs — all labeled and shit! I don’t want to think about your obituary notice. Don’t die. And don’t fart. No wait, fart. Then try lighting one. That would be cool…

Thank you Adam. So glad my “breasts” are stuck in your ear. Wait, no, that doesn’t sound right hey. I’m chuffed at the award, and also excited because you’ve just given me cause to check out a whole bunch of other bloggers. (I will blame you for the reason why my husband and kids don’t have any clean underwear and socks! Do laundry? While there are so many fascinating blogs to read?)

I was wondering if you write anything other than your blog. I want to tag you for this ‘the next big thing’ something or other in which you answer 10 questions about your work in progress, so I don’t know if you’d be interested in that at all or if you feel it would apply to you? Thanks again!

oh yeah definitely, it’s yours lol I’m supposed to do it this week, so as soon as I post I’ll let you know. My friend was lazy and only tagged me, and I’m going to follow her lead and tag one person so you were the first one that came to mind because I love the way you write and what you have to say. So I’ll let you know sometime this week. 🙂

Can’t remember if I commented yet or not. If I did, OH WELL I’m doing it again, if not, well I apologize for waiting so long. Thanks again for the props I appreciate it. You have an awesome blog even though I had to over look the dig on Angelina LOL sorry she’s hot to me, though my wife will agree with you. She thinks she is an overused slut, I guess I just have a thing for sluts LOL.

I think she’s alright, she’s just starting to look a bit coked-out for my liking these days…It was that stupid leg pose thing that I didn’t get. Anyways, you’re welcome Radar, thanks for the props. Keep up the Zombie stuff!

I’m actually moving on, Charleze Theron is my new crush now, she’s just hot as hell. Already ahead of you on the zombies. Just posted another tale of suspense and horror lol. I’ll be posting some updated news on the journals shortly as well, to let everyone know what I have planned for the future of the series.

Being listed on this page is the pinnacle of awesomeness. Just so you know, I’m SO putting this on my resume. For the benefit of my potential future employers though, is “right to bitch” always in all caps, or is that up to me? I need to get the context right in my cover letters.

Haha oh goodness , you have fair warning that I am a holiday junkie so stock up on your manhood (:
And once again , Thankyous so much ! .. When I inconspicuously figure out what a blogroll is be assured you’ll definitely be there ! \M/ — I think I pulled it off right? At least spent a decent 2 minutes looking for the ‘\”

Thanks for the thanks, Adam! And for gifting it back to me. I meant what I said. I hate to say you are a mentor to me, because then you will sit back see how bad I screw that up! I love your format, your writing, and I just basically wish I were you. Without the male bits. Although I hear those are fun to own. This has taken a wrong turn . . . hasn’t it?

Jean, some days I wish I were me too! That’s pretty fucking cool of you to say all that gushy stuff about me. I kinda would like to frame it and keep it someplace visible for when I’m not feeling all that motivated.

Thanks for making my night. I always enjoy reading you, and keep up the great work. I’m gonna go play with myself now…

Hahahaa thanks! That’s flattering. I’ll say I can be classy, I have aesthetic tastes, and I love classic literature. However, I pretty much wear the same jeans every day and only wash them every couple of months, if that lol. I never wear white, only dark clothes, so that when I spill food or drink on myself, I can just rub it in. I’m a diverse guy…. If you read the two posts of Wall Grimm with the lists, as I say, some of Grimm is really me, some is fiction, those lists are my personal fact. But yeah, I like to consider myself classy, especially in etiquette. I’m a classy slob, lol Thanks for the tribute Adam, you’re awesome!

I was wondering what my next job was going to be after I retired. I’m so glad I ended up being your boss. About all I’ve ever done in a grocery store before is send my husband to it to bring home the bacon. So now I get to learn what it’s like from the inside out. You say you want to have the employee of the month spot? Sure. In fact, just keep it. My compliments. 🙂 Marsha Lee 🙂

The killer write up (especially the 40 yr old virgin bit!) you gave my little ol’ Lifestyle Blog made my whole week! Loving MY RIGHT TO BITCH more and more each day. Your witty banter constantly inspires me to try and be as funny as I am informative with each post. I don’t always hit the mark but with a bit of guidance through your hilarity, maybe someday I’ll up my current ratio. You seem to tackle all of the things I mumble under my breath while smiling my best “Stepford-worthy” grin and in a much funnier way than most. Sending the most humblest of thank yous for preachin’ it like it is – You’re Awesome! – The E of DIY2EMC http://diy2emc.com

Thank so much! I’m glad you like it. I try to hard. Always remember that. I just noticed that you have a facebook page. I’m gonna link my business page up to it. I think your page would be a really cool resource to have available. Thanks again, and we’ll talk soon, chic chick!