Arsene Wenger - My Fake Diary

The Gareth Bale to Real Madrid saga has taken a twist with Tottenham revealing there is a second bid on the table for the player.Many suspect Manchester United and Chelsea. Tottenham would like cash plus Rooney or Mata in exchange.

Nobody suspects that the unnamed bid is from myself and Arsenal.We can offer them cash... plus Nicklas Bendtner (best striker in the world - self proclaimed - currently on loan at Juventus)

It would be a great move for the player. Champions League football without having to move abroad. Without having to move house.

Everybody in Spain speaks English, but ask yourself Gareth... How many speak Welsh? We have Aaron Ramsey here to help you acclimatize. We have Theo, who Gareth trained with in Southampton youth team.

Be brave, like Sol, and join the most successful team in North London.

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