As the Republican Party in the US announces that it will stand on a platform of no gay marriages (get your divorce papers ready, gays – you’re being broken up!) and also on an anti-abortion ticket (get ready backstreet abortionists, your boat just came in!), German Chancellor Angela Merkin, pictured here being forced to eat animal excrement, has said no to the gays as well.

Yes, she may come from go-ahead Germany, where men are men and women sometimes look like this, but that doesn’t mean she’s a pushover for the gays, especially seeing as she comes from the Christian Democratic Union. When asked if gay couples should get the same tax breaks as their straight brothers and sisters, she came up with a resounding ‘nein’, which apparently means ‘no’ in German.

One of her party-mates Katherine Reiche went a step further: she said that same-sex partnerships as an issue was ‘next to the euro crisis, the biggest threat to German prosperity,’ adding that Germany’s future ‘lies in the hands of families, not same-sex partnerships’. We think she was just altering words from some pre-war speech she came across in a second-hand shop, crossing out the word ‘jew’ and putting in ‘gay’.

Nice people. Mitt Romney should feel very comfortable doing business with them.

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It's not only American Republicans that would like to return to a non-gay past, 10.0 out of 10 based on 3 ratings