Everyone deals with death in a different way. Some
people show no emotion when a loved one dies. Showing no
emotion, doesn't mean that you have no pain in your
heart. Some people hide and cry every time they have a
memory about their loved one.

I lost my brother about a year ago and it has been very
hard for me. My brother was one year older than me. He
took his life. He committed suicide. There are times
that I am so depressed inside. As I write this article,
my tears are running down my cheeks. I have never felt
so much pain in my heart.

As a child my brother has always been there for me
through good and bad. He taught me how to ride a bike.
We always played together and we also fought a lot as
siblings that we were. He taught me to swim and many
other things. I had just started my new job when I was
informed by my parents that my brother has decided to
depart from us all. I knew exactly what they meant by
that. I have a lot of questions in my mind, in which I
will never have an answer for. I know he was having a
lot of personal issues. I thought my brother was
stronger than that. I guess it was too much for him to
handle. I get very depressed at times when I think of
him.

I have his car parked in front of my house. His car
needs some work, it is not drivable at this time. There
are days that I come from work and when I pass his car
to enter my house, my tears just roll down my face. I
picture him in his car. Some of my friends tell me to
sell it, but I can't. I know the car won't bring back my
brother but I feel as if I have a piece of him. The car
has sentimental value to me. I am going to fix it and
drive it sometimes. This has been a very hard year for
me. I have cried more this year than I have my entire
life. I sometimes have dreams with him and I wake sad
because it was just a dream. At work people speak about
their childhood. Their stories for the most part include
a sibling and I cannot even touch the subject because it
is very hard for me. For everyone out there who has lost
a brother or a loved one, you know what I mean. Dealing
with death can be depressing.