Sexy tunes to survive this semester – one week at a time

Having a finely tuned playlist to jam out to while making out — or partaking in a more explicit affair — enhances the pleasures of sharing the love. It can be tough to find just the right song to capture the mood, so we at the Clog have compiled a list of tunes that will hopefully encapsulate both your sexual endeavors and your academic ones throughout the course of this spring semester.

Week 1: Spazzkid — “Getting to Know You”

Everything’s a little tenuous — you’re hitting up Tinder matches, eyeing the cuties in your chemistry section and looking for some first-week fun. But who knows? Maybe if you get lucky, this twinkly ditty by Spazzkid will be the ideal background tune for your little make-out session.

Week 2: Sleigh Bells — “Crush”

You know that mood in which you may or may not potentially be developing a crush on someone you met and you either want to hide or jump their bones into oblivion? Couple that with your first problem set of the semester, and you’re probably ready to fuck shit up — or, at the very least, fuck someone. Sleigh Bells’ “Crush” captures this dichotomy with just one line: “I got a crush on you / I gotta crush you now!”

Week 3: Alex Turner — “Hiding Tonight”

Your Tinder fuck buddy has “other plans.” You’re a little downtrodden, and you deserve a hug in the form of a song. Or you’ve got someone, and you’re in the mood for some precoital snuggling — you deserve that, too, lucky bastard. The Arctic Monkeys frontman has the perfect song for cuddling with bae — or your body pillow. Either way, we won’t judge.

Week 4: Miguel — “Adorn”

Ah, week four. Valentine’s Day is here — what better way to celebrate the occasion than with one of the best love songs of the past decade? For all the single folks out there, “Adorn” is just an incredible song to listen to solo. Maybe try imagining that Miguel is crooning to you while you cry into your Ben & Jerry’s and Netflix.

Week 5: The Flaming Lips — “Do You Realize??”

Week five is when shit finally starts to hit the fan. You’re starting to get a little punch-drunk with all the work you’re drowning in. Maybe while you’re cramming in Red Bulls and research papers, you’re getting a little sexistential. Listen to this song when you want to get down on someone and get deep at the same time. You’ll thank us later.

Week 6: Childish Gambino – “Pop Thieves (Make it Feel Good)”

You might be stuck in the windowless despair of Valley Life Sciences Building, wishing you were having a beach getaway with that hottie sitting two seats in front of you. Why not make that fantasy into a reality with a little bit of tropical-vibe hip-hop, courtesy of the “3005” rapper? Send some suggestive Snaps during lecture — we’re cool with that, but your professor might not be.

Week 7: alt-J — “Dissolve Me”

You’re having your first midterm this week, or maybe you’ve already had three or four. Either way, you’re probably wiped out and lamenting your less-than-decent Math 1B midterm grade. You might want to dissolve into oblivion with this jam playing in the background — why not have someone blow your mind — among other things — beforehand.

Week 8: M83 — “We Own the Sky”

Hallelujah! You — hopefully — have a slight reprieve from the stress of the semester, and you feel uplifted. You might want to transcend the time-space continuum in someone’s bed, so this gauzy, ethereal tune can help you float away, at least for a few hours.

Week 9: LION BABE — “Treat Me Like Fire”

You’ve hardly reveled in your break for long — walking into your 8 a.m. chemistry lecture might as well feel like walking into a giant pit of fire. Upside: You’ve got this song and someone whose touch gets you all fired up. Make sure not to combust from the hotness that will most definitely ensue.

Week 10: Ta-ku — “Beggining to End”

You’ve already set up the countdown calendar on your phone to finish up the semester two-thirds into the semester. Maybe try to kill some time with some sexy time. The tender piano flourishes of this song can hopefully be the soundtrack of some of your sexual TLC.

Week 11: Hannah Diamond — “Every Night”

“I want to see you every night / And feel your heartbeat next to mine.” For a lot of you cooped up in the fluorescent lighting of Main Stacks night after night, you might feel the same way. When you do get the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with your honey, try to make up for all the nights that you didn’t get to spend with them.

Week 12: Junior Boys — “In the Morning”

At this stage, you might be pulling your 15th all-nighter of the semester or wanting to go on the prowl for a questionable 4 a.m. one-night stand. Either way, this buzzing anthem is the perfect companion to both, and when you head to class with disheveled hair, people will be none the wiser as to what you did the night before.

Week 13: Beyonce — “Blow”

It’s almost the end of the semester — you can almost taste it. Like Queen B’s Skittles in “Blow,” you might want to blow off the rest of the semester — you’ve got two weeks left after all — but why not do some blowing of another kind? Or “turn that cherry out” for a hottie? Either way, you’ve got this, especially if you’ve got Beyonce to cheer you on.

Week 14: Active Child – “Hanging On”

“I just can’t keep hanging on,” you might sing along. Dead week might be just around the corner, but with the help of some sexual reviving, you can power through the last week of instruction.

Week 15/dead week: Disclosure — “Help Me Lose My Mind”

In the heat of dead week, things can become a bit too much. You rightfully deserve a break from hours cooped up in Main Stacks, so instead of losing your mind in your textbooks, why not lose your mind with the help of some lucky individual? Maybe doing the deed can help you do some more cramming. After all, sex is the best stress reliever.

Finals week: Rhye – “The Fall”

You’ve just walked out of your last final. You kicked some ass in there. Congratulations on finishing the semester strong! A downside to the end of the semester is not being able to spend time with your UC Berkeley babe – so tell ’em to “make love to me, one more time,” as the song commands. Make that last week count!