Student Debt Protesters Trouble Gaining Support Attributed to Not Being Able to Afford a Quality Megaphone

The morning of Tuesday, April 19th was a sad day for student debt protesters. A dismal crowd had arrived for a support Bernie/Anti-Trump/Pro-Diversity/Stop Student Debt/Anti-affirmative Action Protest/Rally. The organizers were hoping to gather a larger crowd by belting chants and semi-coherent speeches through a megaphone. The first speaker stood in front of the crowd to begin her sob story. She raised the megaphone to her mouth and in sync with her double chin wobbling and cried out “WAAAWWAAA WAAWAAWAA WAAAWAAA WAAAA WAAAAA.”

WAAAWWAAA WAAWAAWAA WAAAWAAA WAAAA WAAAAA.

Initially, we thought the protester had set the megaphone to make her voice sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher, cool. However, as more word-vomit erupted from her mouth we started to realize it was just a really, really shitty megaphone. Not only could nobody understand her, attempts at unified chants quickly devolved into off-beat babbling. As confused passersby dragged their friends away it became apparent that the protestors had failed because of their lack of skrilla and their hoot-ass megaphone.

This all made us here at The Koala wonder, will there ever be enough opposition to rising tuition if voices of minorities cannot be heard? How can we as students help these minorities be heard? We’ve decided the best way to help them is to find out what they have to say first, which is why it is important to get a better megaphone in their hands ASAP. Unfortunately, for the protesters, this is an impossible goal. Nobody at UCSD likes to shell out for anything worthwhile, so the only other solution is to support a candidate that will speak for them. Go to www.ucsdminoritiesneedtobeheard.orgto find out more.