I was dating guys that I met online on and off for several years, without any of the relationships really going anywhere – and like you, I kept wondering when I would meet someone who was boyfriend material.

It wasn’t until I started to really care about and focus on myself that I met my current boyfriend – who I have now been with for a year. He is a much better match than I could have ever asked for, and I absolutely attribute it to the changes that I made for myself (which included setting silly, short-term goals like running 5ks and hiking random places, and not remaining friends with guys that I dated and was “friend-zoned” by).

As cliche as it is to say that “as soon as you stop looking you’ll find ‘the one,'” it really is true. I met my boyfriend as soon as I stopped caring about having a boyfriend, and just cared about being my best self alone.