Conan Dares NBC To Sue Him Over Masturbating Bear

It’s always tricky when a popular talk show host changes networks and tries to bring some of his associated gags and characters along with them. That’s the situation facing Conan O’Brien as he preps to launch his new TBS show and expects the suits at his former network NBC to have some complaints.

“I won’t be denied my Masturbating Bear!” he tells Rolling Stone about the self-gratifying furry character, which pleased itself on the Late Night stage for many years. “If there’s something we did for a long time that we’ve established as ours, we’ll figure out a way to do it…. What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the Masturbating Bear. ‘Your Honor, this bear can’t help himself!'”

During Conan’s Legally Prohibited concert tour, wherein the red-headed giant pushed his severance agreement with NBC to the limit, the Masturbating Bear was replaced by a not-dissimilar character called Self-Pleasuring Panda.