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Monday, January 24, 2011

The Martha Stewart Mix-up

In December, I won a convection oven from Martha Stewart Living. What? I like Martha Stewart. We don't have room for a convection oven in this apartment, and had I known that's what the prize was, I wouldn't have entered (in my defense, I thought I was entering to win a Christmas tree). However, I still filled out the prize claim verification affidavit thingie and mailed it back to Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, since I imagine we'll have more space when we eventually find a house. A few days after I sent the form, I received an e-mail that said, "Your verification form has been approved and you should expect to receive delivery in approximately six to eight weeks."

Over a month later, I received an e-mail from someone else at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. She said the person with whom I had been corresponding initially was "unfortunately ... no longer with the company." Her e-mail went on to say, "After going through [her] emails and mail files we did not find your Verification form?" I can just hear that whiny voice in my head, the voice the cutesy talking heads on CNN Headline News use so they can tell you bad news without you thinking it's bad news. The voice that takes declarative statements and turns them into questions because it makes them seem cute, mild, and inoffensive: "A bunch of people in Russia died today? But it's ok because I said it like a question?" Of course, I could just be taking this the wrong way because I'm irritated by this situation. To top things off, though, she even forwarded the original e-mail that said "your form has been approved"!

So, I had to fire back. I replied, "I'm curious as to why you claim to be unable to find my verification form, since you even forwarded me the e-mail from [her recently-departed predecessor] stating '[y]our verification form has been approved and you should expect to receive delivery in approximately six to eight weeks.' If it was approved, surely it had been received and processed." I concluded the message by saying I would send them a new form if necessary.

When she replied, I her tone had changed from the ebullient "OMG congrats on winning!!" to a more authoritative, "Yes. Send us a new form." Sigh. We'll probably have just closed on a house by the time the oven shows up, given all this hooey. Well, not really.