One of the many odd sidebars to the Trump presidency has been seeing what happens when an unsocialized puff pastry who has lived his entire life in an environment custom-built to nurture his weirdest impulses is suddenly asked to do the sort of ceremonial normal things presidents are supposed to do. These are the sorts of things that ordinarily remind us that an actual human is the president of the United States, and they are all absolutely things that Trump cannot do. In place of all those normal things are various weird handshakes and disgusting eating habits and all-hours whining and meandering toddler posturing and whatever the hell this Super Bowl celebration was supposed to be: