What makes a housewife a Real Housewife? Is it the magnitude of her fortune, the size of her ego, or the sharpness of her tongue? Ideally, all three, along with a glorious lack of self-awareness. In honor of the 100th Housewife making her debut on this season of The Real Housewives of Orange County, we've ranked all the ladies, from newcomer Peggy Sulahian at 100 (because we literally don't know her) to the HBIC in the top spot. This obviously is a very subjective exercise, but we should note that we kept in mind how important each woman has been to the overall Housewives brand and their mainstream success/popularity, among other factors. Now, let's whoop it up.

Honorable Mention: Mama Elsa

First, we need to give a shout-out to Mama Elsa for being the only interesting thing about Miami. We're not sure whether she actually is a witch, but she's put a spell on us.

100. Peggy Sulahian, Orange County

99. Brandi Redmond, Dallas: Sorry to the dozens of Dallas fans out there, but we're just not here for it.

98. LeeAnne Locken, Dallas

97. Stephanie Hollman, Dallas

96. Tiffany Hendra, Dallas

95. Cary Deuber, Dallas

94. Kimberly Bryant, Orange County

93. DeShawn Snow, Atlanta

92. Amber Marchese, New Jersey

91. Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Beverly Hills

90. Lisa Wu, Atlanta

89. Lauri Peterson, Orange County

88. Claudia Jordan, Atlanta

87. Kathryn Edwards, Beverly Hills

86. Lizzie Rovsek, Orange County

85. Karent Sierra, Miami

84. Peggy Tanous, Orange County

83. Nicole Napolitano, New Jersey

82. Teresa Aprea, New Jersey

81. Cindy Barshop, New York City

80. Cristy Rice, Miami

79. Jules Wainstein, New York City: With the incessant talk about her injured pistachio, maybe this Jewish Asian-American princess was a little too real?

78. Stacie Scott Turner, D.C.

77. Lynda Erkiletian, D.C.

76. Quinn Fry, Orange County

75. Lisa Hochstein, Miami

74. Monique Samuels, Potomac

73. Katie Rost, Potomac

72. Charrisse Jackson-Jordan, Potomac

71. Robyn Dixon, Potomac

70. Gizelle Bryant, Potomac

69. Tinsley Mortimer, New York City

68. Kristen Taekman, New York City

67. Ana Quincoces, Miami

66. Dolores Catania, New Jersey

65. Lynne Curtin, Orange County

64. Alexia Echevarria, Miami

63. Mary Amons, D.C.

62. Lea Black, Miami

61. Lydia McLaughlin, Orange County

60. Cat Ommanney, D.C.

59. Shannon Beador, Orange County

58. Carlton Gebbia, Beverly Hills: This Wiccan was not spellbinding.

57. Larsa Pippen, Miami

56. Siggy Flicker, New Jersey

55. Meghan King Edmonds, Orange County

54. Marysol Patton, Miami

53. Alex McCord, New York City

52. Tammy Knickerbocker, Orange County

51. Ashley Darby, Potomac

50. Kelly Dodd, Orange County

49. Dorit Kemsley, Beverly Hills

48. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey

47. Jeana Keough, Orange County

46. Aviva Drescher, New York City: Yes, the leg toss was scripted AF, but it will go down in Bravo history (sure to be taught in schools soon) as one of the show's most iconic moments.

45. Kim Fields, Atlanta

44. Eileen Davidson, Beverly Hills

43. Gretchen Rossi, Orange County

42. Porsha Williams, Atlanta

41. Dina Manzo, New Jersey

40. Karen Huger, Potomac: The Grande Dame of Potomac is by far the most interesting thing about the show.

39. Jo De La Rosa, Orange County

38. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta

37. Taylor Armstrong, Beverly Hills

36. Danielle Staub, New Jersey: A major reason why New Jersey blew up (on many levels),
Danielle undoubtedly had the biggest impact of any two-season Housewife.

35. Joanna Krupa, Miami

34. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta

33. Alexis Bellino, Orange County

32. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey

31. Camille Grammer, Beverly Hills

30. Heather Thomson, New York City

29. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, New York City

28. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills

27. Michaele Salahi, D.C.

26. Jill Zarin, New York City: We loved you, we hated you, we loved hating you. And we're not gonna lie either; we also "kind of miss the gossip."

25. Kenya Moore, Atlanta

"People get exhausted trying to figure me out. And I just let them."

24. Heather Dubrow, Orange County

"I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I'm 98 percent real."

23. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills

"In Beverly Hills, the higher you climb, the farther you fall."

22. Adriana de Moura, Miami

"I speak five languages, but I can get a man with no words."

21. Erika Girardi, Beverly Hills

"I'm an enigma, wrapped in a riddle and cash."

20. Carole Radziwill, New York City

"I may be a princess, but I'm definitely not a drama queen."

19. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey

"I was always told to be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom."

18. Yolanda Hadid, Beverly Hills

"I like to have fun, but I don't play games."

17. Sheree Whitfield, Atlanta

"Who gon' check me, boo?"

16. Dorinda Medley, New York City

"I made it nice!"

15. Lisa Rinna, Beverly Hills

"You've heard a lot about me, but it's only true when it comes from my lips."

14. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta

"Boughetto."

13. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills

"You're a slut pig."

12. Luann D’Agostino, New York City

"Don't be all, like, uncool."

11. Sonja Morgan, New York City

"I'm a drag queen trapped in a woman's body."

10. Tamra Judge, Orange County

"My faith is strong, and my ass isn't bad either."

Tamra found Jesus, so she no longer has room for hate in her heart. JK, the self-proclaimed hottest Orange County housewife still finds a (Christian) way to stir the pot, all while running her gym and training for bodybuilding competitions. Don't come for this SoCal grandma unless you want to get burned.

9. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey

"Let me tell you something about my family: We're as thick as thieves."

She can be as tough as nails or as tender as a piece of veal that's about to be breaded, fried, and covered in gravy for Sunday dinner. Caroline is one of New Jersey's most important figures, with the spinoff to prove it. Her husband, children, siblings, and in-laws are all over the network. With as much behind-the-scenes drama as on-camera action, the Manzos are a true gift to the Bravo-obsessed.

8. Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Atlanta

"I came out of the womb looking for dick."

Way before Vicki Gunvalson's fake cancer storyline, Kim created a bizarre moment at the Season 1 Atlanta reunion connecting her use of wigs to a cancer scare. It was truly confusing, but set her off as one of the show's most intriguing personalities. Since then, she's swapped her trashy married boyfriend for a football-playing husband with whom she's had FOUR more children, all of whom are featured on her wildly successful spinoff, Don't Be Tardy. And, of course, with all due respect to the Countess, no Housewife has lip-synced a catchier song than "Tardy for the Party."

7. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills

"Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and she threw a big boulder."

Once known just as Paris' aunt, Kyle Richards now is arguably the most important member of the Richards/Hilton clan. A scripted TV show inspired by her life is in production now; it stars Alicia Silverstone, Mena Suvari, and Cheyenne Jackson. Besides her many gifts, Kyle also brought husband Mauricio Umansky to the table, and we thank her for it.

6. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta

"Close your legs to married men."

Others have had a more consistent presence in Atlanta, but Linnethia Monique Leakes née Leakes née Johnson is undeniably the franchise's breakout star. A confusing appearance on Glee led to an even stranger (but surprisingly solid) co-starring role on The New Normal. NeNe has appeared on Broadway multiple times, turning reality show meltdowns into, honestly, a more successful acting career than most of the show's longtime actresses have been able to put together. Oh, and she divorced her husband, only to remarry him, which is obviously great television.

5. Vicki Gunvalson, Orange County

"Whoop it up!"

What cancer scandal? Brooks who? Love her or hate her, without Vicki helping to make Orange County a success, there would be no Housewives universe, no Zaddy Andy Cohen, no Bravo as we know it. She's basically the Kelly Clarkson of Bravo, except not talented and kind of a monster. (But, you know, a lovable one.)

4. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills

"People are replaceable and they need to know that."

An English rose with a twinkle in her eye and a knack for puns, Lisa has been serving tea since the start. Not only is she a reliable pot stirrer for Beverly Hills, she also is responsible for introducing the world to the monsters who "work" at SUR via her successful spinoff Vanderpump Rules. And let's not forget Giggy! All hail the queen.

3. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey

"Prostitution whore!"

We still don't know the correct way to pronounce her last name, but we all know Teresa. She's a mother, a wife, a sister, a best-selling author, an ex-con, a table flipper, and the undeniable HBIC of the Jersey Housewives. An original cast member whose family is responsible for most of the show's drama, Teresa is full of contradictions and sometimes lacking in self-awareness. But she is our Italian-American princess.

2. Ramona Singer, New York City

"Turtle time!"

The Ramonacoaster has been running for all nine seasons, gifting viewers with truly crazy, funny, embarrassing, touching, and awkward moments. Ramona is one of the "main" Housewives who has pretty much remained in her lane. There haven't been any spinoffs or major moves for media dominance, but she did publish a book (natch) and she put out that now-impossible-to-find Pinot Grigio. More importantly, she has consistently delivered the on-camera drama thanks to her famous Singer stingers.

1. Bethenny Frankel, New York City

"Get off my jock."

People who don't watch any of the Real Housewives shows (aka monsters) know who Bethenny is. Those of us who do faithfully attend services at the Church of Cohen have very strong opinions about Queen B, the jewel in Bravo's crown. Bethenny hasn't just become a multimillionaire entrepreneur; she did it all while reality show cameras were trailing her. When RHONY debuted, Bethenny was schlepping to events on the subway to hawk her wares. Within three years, she sold her Skinnygirl brand of cocktails for a reported $120 million. Now she's schlepping to events in a chauffeured car and hawking her wares in much more expensive outfits. Bethenny left RHONY to lead her own spinoff and spent a year working on a syndicated talk show before returning to show that made her a star. Whether you love her or hate her, you keep watching, because this reality TV royal knows how to play (and win) the game.

Thanks to fellow Housewives fans Alex, Mony, and Rachel for their wise counsel and emotional support during this exercise.

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I think the most important housewives are the ones that day drink, swill their "friends", cheat on their husbands, get face lifts, tummy tucks, boob jobs (not real jobs), cry, scream, and yell-a lot, for money. Must see TV.