I had a nightmare that fucking HAIR started growing out of my EYEBALLS. And I had to tweeze it out because I didn't want anyone to know. So, what I'm saying is, your shirt is not only offensive to brunettes, it's also offensive to the entire concept of nightmares.

Who needs brains?

Well, you do, lady! Or you'd be dead! Like Gwyneth Paltrow in Contagion! Your eyeballs just rolling all over the place. No one thinks that's pretty!

Decisions!

I don't actually find the saying that offensive because some decisions, like, say, how to get the country into a state of true economic recovery are, indeed, nightmares. But it comes with this fun tagline:

For Pete's sake, pick out an outfit already. In the time it takes you to make one good decision, I can make lots and lots of bad ones.

Here's something easy to decide on: buy this shirt. No it doesn't make you look fat.

Your boyfriend thinks you're studying?

But really you're just watching 'Labyrinth' for the 100th time and reaching out at the screen to kind of fake pat David Bowie's hair? That's cool, we get that, we lied to our parents about that all the time as kids, it's just so weird that you'd lie to your boyfriend about that.... wait. You're cheating on your boyfriend? With not David Bowie? You are an asshole.

Trophy wife?

Look, I'm going to be honest with you, trophy wives wear a lot of Herve Leger. This baby needs to up her game.

Umm, this is a t-shirt for a young girl that has tassels on the breasts

I don't think we need to say any more about that, do you?

Dude.

We have seemingly lost all perspective on "things one is ashamed of" vs. "things one brags about by advertising it on a goddamn t-shirt."

Tell me that “Future Trophy Wife” one is fake! That is worst thing I’ve ever seen.

Fatima

Agreed!

Ellen W.

The “I had a nightmare I was a brunette” one amuses me because I have nightmares about being a blonde. I think it’s about loss of control over ones identity. But it’s still pretty damn offensive to say on a t-shirt.

Lisa

If the decisions one wasn’t gender-specific, I’d totally buy it.

Eileen

I’ll admit that I own the “my boyfriend” one. In my defense, it was my aunt’s, and she gave it to me when she got pregnant. It’s way more inappropriate on a married, pregnant woman in her 40s than on a single 16-year-old girl.

K

I work at a math tutoring center and live with two of the women I work with. We have definitely contemplated getting the David and Goliath t-shirt that says “I’m too pretty to do math.” and then all wearing them on the same day. Our boss would shit himself, but, unfortunately, some of our students would try to use it as an excuse not to do math.

sigh

I remember (cue rocking chair) when full-grown women like Kathleen Hanna started wearing shirts like these, it was so biting and awesome because they were exactly the opposite of everything those women were and stood for. Which is why, K, if you and your math-tutoring coworkers wore them it would be funny.

But on children, it might as well say “I have cripplingly low self-esteem” and that simply is not awesome or funny. Except maybe the baby with tasseled pasties. That might still be funny.

Tammy

I can agree with you but I kinda liked the one that says “who needs brains when you got these” lol

Ninargh

I had a job working in IT support a while back and wore t-shirts like this for a while, but being surrounded with men that consistently doubted my abilities with computers (due to my tits, of my youth or whatever bullshit) the amusingly ironic look was quickly cut.

woo

I used to have a “Blondes have more fun, but brunettes can read” t shirt that I wore to family events with my (incredibly aryan and passive aggressive) inlaws. I was the only ‘darkie’ (as they called me) in the lot. Still, I have since cut that t shirt up to use as cleaning rags!

Cassieleigh

there’s offensive and then there’s funny. I think if you’re old enough to determine what these shirts actually mean then they should only be seen as funny not offensive. I’m horribly offended by the little girls shirts though.

kish

I do not think this shirt is that offensive, I seriously think it is kinda cool shirt. If you want to visit a place this coming holiday, you can check out places to visit in kerry ireland.