Tuesday, June 29, 2010

J. Michael Straczynski is the new WONDER WOMAN Writer with WW#600. Like just about every other new writer over the years he plans on "shaking things up"by "fucking with the Origin in not-so-new ways".

And similar to other past writers he is giving Diana a new costume. DC has hired JIM LEE to design the new threads. Above is the new costume.

It looks like an amalgam of Wonder Woman Fails of Times Past; The Deodato 90s costumes, and the Elseworlds Pirate Wonder Woman (yes, PIRATE Wonder Woman).

(every comic characer had a jacket in the 90s)

DC solicits with:

The Gods, for reasons of their own but which may have something to with their survival and perhaps the survival of Earth itself, have changed the timeline. In the new timeline, years ago the Gods removed their protection from Paradise Island, and left it vulnerable to attack. And attacked it was. Led by a dark figure, a veritable army descended upon the Island, equipped with weapons that could kill even the Amazons. Outgunned, doomed, Hippolyta gave over her three-year-old daughter to a handful of guardians who spirited her away as Hippolyta led one last desperate battle against the forces that had come to destroy all she had created. In that final battle, she and most of the Amazons were killed, though some managed to escape.

It's now nearly twenty years later. Diana has been raised in an urban setting, but with a foot in both worlds. She has little or no memory of the other timeline. She knows only what she's been told by those who raised her On the run, hunted, she must try to survive, help the other refugee Amazons escape the army that is still after them, discover who destroyed Paradise Island and why...and if the timeline can be corrected or not. She also does not yet have access to her full powers, but will be gaining them as she goes.

But wait, it gets better!DC adds:

"a Wonder Woman look designed for the 21st century" that will allow Diana "to be taken seriously as a warrior, in partial answer to the many female fans over the years who've asked, 'how does she fight in that thing without all her parts falling out?' ...The bracelets are still there, but made more colorful, tied on the inside and over the hand, with a script W on each of them that form WW when she holds them side by side... and if you get hit by one of them, it leaves a W mark. This is a Wonder Woman who signs her work."

"She's been locked into pretty much the exact same outfit since her debut in 1941," said J. Michael Straczynski. "If you're going to make a statement about bringing Wonder Woman into the 21st century, you need to be bold and you need to make it visual. I wanted to toughen her up, and give her a modern sensibility... What woman only wears only one outfit for 60-plus years?"

Lovely.

Why am I surprised at this new crappy direction? It's JMS after all. Maybe he'll roll a 20 and write something good, original and not padded-to-hell. He's done it once or twice before. The only way to find out and have final judgement is to check it out I suppose (*coughbittorrentcough*). But until then, based solely on the preview images and solicit, I'm not interested. The only excitement it caused was me taking the time and energy to bitch about it here.

---MAN-E-FACESWhile already on the list, Man-E-Faces was bumped up towards the front simply for this awesome annecdote JimSmash Reader MORBO shared awhile back (Moss Man Monday):

"When i was little my father thought the word "penis" was inappropriate so he dubbed our wee trouser trouts manee's. "my manee hurts"..and so forth. Imagine our delight when He-man made the acquaintance of the heroic human... robot... monster Man-E-Faces. Good times."---MOSS MANHe smelled like pine!PINE!!!---