I'll let it pass and hold my tongue

So! End-of-winter finales are collapsing left and right, and last-chance replacements are making/about to make their mark. Me being me, as soon as I clear out one stall in my little TV barn, I seem to find a replacement before it's even gone cold. My will to resist new shows seems to be weaker in spring than fall lately, so although Dollhouse was a bust, I've still got my eye on two others.

Southland is the first crime drama to catch my eye in at least a couple of years (L&O: UK not withstanding), and I've determined it's only 60% because of Ben McKenzie - the rest is very alluring, promising me "from the producer of ER" and just, I don't know, captivating-looking.

I also find it a LAUGH RIOT (hah) that it's in a timeslot clash with the other new show I want to see - although at least they're premiering a week apart - but Harper's Island strikes me as the fictionalized version of Murder in Small Town X, and you know how much I loved that show (seeing as 8 years later I am still talking about it at every opportunity). I predict at least one of them will fail to live up to my expectations, but hey.

In other news, I've started seeing previews for "The Osbournes: Reloaded." To which my reaction is basically, "...huh. Good, for a minute there I was getting worried that FOX was starting to class up its act." I mean, when The Simpsons and Family Guy are the most offensive/low-brow shows they air in a given week, they're just not trying hard enough. Thank goodness this came along to restore their reputation!

As for the remainder of what I watched from last week --

Lost, 5x11, "He's Our You"Ohhh, Sayid. Whenever I start to believe that Sawyer or Juliet is officially my favorite character, he comes out of nowhere with an episode like this to remind me why he's always been first-favorite, pwning everybody while showcasing the full spectrum of emotion.

Incidentally, I've heard a lot of people say this episode was good because it went back to using traditional flashbacks. FALSE. Sayid's story has always been one of like three exceptions to the "all flashbacks suck" rule, ergo your conclusion is null and void, and I will continue to thank my lucky stars they finally chucked that concept out the window this season. This in no way precludes me from loving the return, however brief, of Hot Assassin Sayid, or the General Smokin' Hotness that comes from him + Ilana in a hotel room together (I love how just as it was dawning on him that having a spiked heel near his face was perhaps not the wisest choice, she let loose with a kick).

I have also heard a lot of people talk about how shocking it is that Sayid shot a child, regardless of who it was. Really? Because I was not that shocked by the act of shooting a child. I think maybe we underestimate how many times I have envisioned doing just that. Kids can be really annoying. This was nowhere near as devastating or upsetting as the time Shannon got shot (FOR WHICH I CAN STILL SUMMON BLINDING RAGE, O YES I CAN).

Besides, whatever. You know that thing I said last week on Medium (of course not, you don't watch that show) about how you can't predict the future, and even if there's a really really high probability that someone will become a mass-murder, preemptively killing people who haven't done anything yet is not okay? Yeah, I've decided it doesn't apply here. Shooting Young Ben is hardcore, but it is awesome. GO SAYID. I may have been more open to Ben lately, but if it's him versus Sayid, he's going down.

OK, we have to switch to list format because this episode is just too hard to wrap my head around otherwise.

-It's still such an amazing dynamic to watch Sayid and Sawyer switch power roles, the perfect opposite of season 1 - almost as amazing as watching Sawyer wince and cringe and generally hate every second of it, rather than seeing it as any kind of revenge. *pets Sawyer* (even if there was something twisted in the fact that he was the only one doling out physical violence, while the "psycho"'s big bad weapon was...truth serum)

-Sayid has never broken my heart quite so much as during that simple, truthful confessional of "Because I am a bad man." Also, despite his nefarious plans for later, I really liked that he leapt to his feet when Ben's dad started boxing him 'round the ears. It was nice for a few seconds when you thought he objected to rough treatment of a child.

-Last Wednesday, I was shocked speechless when Sayid turned the gun on Ben, and was buzzing with what this might mean for the show as we knew it if Ben had never existed. Then the internet harshed my buzz by reminding me "whatever happened, happened" and how Locke got shot but didn't die, and...major buzzkill. This way isn't nearly as much fun.

-So, in non-Sayid things...OMG, JULIET. MY HEART IS SHREDDING. "It's over, isn't it. This. Playing house." *wails* Noooo! No it isn't! Look at him, it so isn't! God, it just kills me that even after three years versus four months, she still thinks that she'll be drop-kicked to the side in favor of someone else, or that she automatically accepts defeat. Or if not accepts it, is at least painfully ready to confront the possibility. WHICH IS NOT COOL. JULIET'S WAY TOO AWESOME FOR THAT.

-Also, there is a mean little part of me that loves how Kate's reaction to the news that they're living together, like more than roommates, is all "OMG DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS TRAVESTY?!" and Jack's like "Yup, hey, pass the salt." I am...beginning to get scarily over Skate. Juliet's line appears to have snapped me out of the limbo I was hanging in, and now all I want to hear is Sawyer making the same declarations to her that he used to make to a certain brunette currently on a list of "TV's Ten Biggest Tramps."

Is it Wednesday yet?

-------------CSI: NY, 5x19, "Communication Breakdown""Dear show, could you please be slightly more obnoxious with your SHINY CUTTING-EDGE TECHNOLOGY features? I'm not sure they've been shoved in my face enough." <--- Was what I was going to say prior that scene at the end, before they put the automatic translator to good use and I couldn't argue with it anymore.

Overall, really good episode. The Native American plot was intriguing - I always love stories of nigh-extinct tribes, and you have to give them points for an unusual murder weapon, the "wolfkiller," nasty little piece of coiled sharpness that unfolds in the stomach/intestine and stabs you from within, so that for legal purposes it is the sepsis that kills you. That is unique and rather fascinating, and apparently easy to get away with if not for an unusual set of coincidences painting a giant arrow towards you. (also, CRUEL WAY TO KILL WOLVES. You can't just shoot them like any other prey animal?)

That would have been plenty for me on any other day, but I don't have much to say about it because I was busy being distracted by the giant helping of FLACK/ANGELL being thrown in my direction. I was happy enough just seeing them stroll through the Indian festival together on their way to question the property owner. But then! We get him cutely brushing...random colored powder off her shoulder, followed by her laughing hysterically (no wait, that was me) as he gets a whole faceful of it. Yeah, I'll be watching that a few times.

More Flack goodies: one-upping the surly Irish boys by not only understanding their attempt to insult him in a foreign language, but throwing a line back. "You think you're the only ones whose grandpa taught them a little Irish?" And the spin to slam him against the car. And Angell smirking "Well, now that you've harassed an officer..."

ALSO, THE END. Because I didn't love Angell enough already, she strolls up at the end of the day to purr a line of French, complete with translator in hand. Allowing for the fact that my French grammar is terrible and I refuse to look up how to do accent marks..."Passez a mon appartement plus tard, je vous montrerai le sens veritable des relations internationales." Hot. *SQUEAL/FLAIL* (not being annoyed by vous vs. tu. Am not, am not, am not COME ON EVEN BABELFISH GOT IT)

(oh, oh, and I didn't even know about the "sexiest thing I ever heard" part until I read the review, because Lost has that nasty habit of running two minutes overtime every week for no apparent reason)

In sideplot land, Danny trying to come up with baby names was funny too ("Your parents waited six weeks to name you Sheldon?"), especially with Stella rolling her eyes and muttering in Greek at his refusal to consider the possibility of having a girl. Unfortunately, that was exactly where I realized things were not going my way, and sure enough, Lindsay's having a girl. JUST TO SPITE ME. I knew it. The one character I don't want to have a girl decides to be the only character of the year that does.

I'm also curious as to why there was absolutely no reaction whatsoever to Danny's suggestion of "Louie," just Hawkes making a joke about the kid growing up to be a bookie. Seeing as last I checked, Louie was Danny's brother. The one who got beaten nearly to death and for all we know has died off screen by this point. No? Nothing? All right then. *miffed*

P.S. Heh, I wasn't going to say anything about the insane number of cultures they had going on, because I thought it was kind of cool, but I must admit that seeing an excerpt from the list of guest stars cracked me up:Emmanuelle Vaugier as Det Jessica AngellJackie Quinones as Puerto Rican WomanDaniel Tatar as Israeli GuyAndreas Lyon as Danish ManMeena Serendib as Sri Lankan MotherGrace Matias as Filipino GirlPaul Morente as Filipino GuyFilip Ivanov as Bulgarian ManGregory Cruz as Amos DelawareJean-Michel Richaud as FrenchmanAntonia Raftu as Greek WomanChristina Khoo as Tran Paik...

--------------ER, 15x21, "I Feel Good" I really, really didn't want to fall for this one. I wanted to mock its cheesy schmaltz with the kids' heart-surgery-survivors camp, but after about five seconds, I couldn't. It got to me, man. Just like Sam got to me ("Xena!"). Clearly Sam should quit nursing and just be a full-time camp counselor, because she's really energetic and likable and connects wonderfully with kids, and also suddenly became about ten years younger. For the first time in a long time, I unequivocally loved her. Until she had a scene alone with Tony, which I skipped so as not to kill my buzz.

And then Morris. MORRIS GOT TO ME. "Rojo!" He was all...ridiculously adorable and cute as a counselor, and I even swooned a little over him + Claudia, how is this happening, how. Maybe it's not my fault! Maybe I'm just succumbing to honey-toned nostalgia and everything's suddenly more likable than it should be? That's my only explanation for why I even adored Brenner and his oddly appropriate bonding with the sulky loner boy who turned out to be secretly grieving on the inside, in that way boys have when they're too old to cry like kids but too young to cry in ways that cause girls to flock to them comfortingly.

(Also, show, screw you for threatening to kill off Heart Transplant Mommy and orphan her adorable little daughter in the midst of all this fun and good times. Screw you! I reject this probability! Unless this is the deal you had to make with your own devils to keep Carter alive, in which case I will accept it but still be VERY SOUR!)

Archie, though. Whoa. For the first time in a really long time, I started thinking that he would actually make a really good dad, as opposed to simply being an overgrown child. I felt glimmers of that when he first met his sperm-donor kids, but those were quickly quashed as soon as they drifted out of the picture and that nonsense with Hope drifted in. But now it's back, and this time I think it's going to stick! Also, I was cracking up at his performance of the title song, complete with Uncle Jesse Tony on backup vocals/drumset.

My love of the camp scenes was probably aided by my adoration for the two girls - one maybe 13, 14, and the other half her age tagging along like a little sister, which is pretty much exactly how I was with the girl I used to babysit - and the older one's cute and harmless case of puppy love on the cute, geeky boy. I did not know the show could be this cute!

And all motions appear to be go on Banfield having an open adoption, which...would frankly be pretty awesome, so let's have that go through and not yank it out from under her feet at the last second, okay? I'm so high on good feelings right now that I even want good things for Kate. What is this crazy talk, whaaaaat!

Oh, show. We had some dark days back there in January and February, but you are making me so happy lately, I don't know what to do with myself.

-------------- I no longer want to go to sleep because lately I have seen a few little white...gnat-things fluttering about my room, which don't bother me because they are so tiny that even I'm not scared of them...but I was just peering at the pair of houseplants next to my desk (which my mother insists on keeping here during the winter because apparently these are the only windows in the house?), and I noticed that the undersides of all their leaves are covered in little white dots. Dots I quickly realized were eggs.

I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS. WHAT IF THEY HATCH LIKE AN ARMY BEFORE I WAKE? SO WHAT IF THIS AN IRRATIONAL FEAR? I, personally, am all for halting the problem by chucking the plants outdoors immediately and letting them freeze to death. I have no relationship with the plants, especially not if they're going to bring an infestation with them. This is why I don't believe in houseplants, this is why!!