The Alabama Parent Network tammy.coates@dca.alabama.gov
334-223-0711
DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN’S AFFAIRS
PARENTALK
PARENTALK A Publication for Alabama’s Parents
VOLUME 2 FALL 2009 BACK TO SCHOOL
Ways to Bring Out Your Child’s Best
Adapted from Thomas Armstrong, Awakening Your Child’s Natural Genius available by calling 1-800-247-6552
Richard loved to tinker with mechanical Free-time activities can say a Share inspirational stories of people who
devices. As a 6-year-old, he took lot about where your child’s succeeded in life, keeping in mind that success
apart an alarm clock. At 9, he helped gifts lie. Pay attention to the does not have to involve money, fame or high
his dad fix the lawn mower. In high activities she chooses. Does your intelligence. This is a good time to determine what
school, he spent hours tearing apart young child want to build with your child’s thoughts of success are and make
and rebuilding stereo Lego's™ or cook something with realistic goals.
equipment. Now, as a young adult, you? Does your teen sit and doodle
Continued on page 4
he's a sound technician for a or rhythmically bang on the furniture
professional theater company. while humming a tune? These are
Richard's parents encouraged his clues to his interests and talents.
interests at an early age, which helped Mountain-Sized Dreams
Help your child look beyond the
him become a successful
commercialized movies, sports,
adult. However, Richard was never
TV shows, music and video Although no one said it out loud, it was clear the first day that
labeled as "gifted." In fact, he had
games by exposing your child to a 7-year-old Keats Boyd would probably not make it to the top
trouble with math in school. The
broad spectrum of experiences. of Mount Kilimanjaro. At just four feet tall, the kid could
definition of "the gifted child" has
Encourage your child to think about barely conquer a fallen log. There was just no way he was
traditionally been based on school-
her future. Support her pursuit. going to make it all the way up Africa's tallest mountain.
related skills and limited to the upper 5
to 10 percent of children who achieve Use community events and
institutions to activate interests. That was obvious to everyone … except for Keats.
high test scores, write well and excel
Visit the library, attend concerts "It's not impossible to do something," Keats said. "You just
academically. These are certainly
important, but there may be hundreds together. Allow your child to have to believe in yourself to do it."
of other ways for children to show their participate in community activities that Keats doesn't come from a mountain-climbing family. In fact,
gifts. An anonymous observer said, interest him. Suggest that he join a his parents, Brian and Dana, say they don't even like stairs.
“All children are gifted, some just peer group that focuses on his gifts. They say their son got the bug a couple years ago after he
open their packages later than saw a Kilimanjaro special on TV. Unfortunately, watching it
Give your child permission to
others.” Studies at Harvard University and climbing it are two very different things.
make mistakes. If she has to do
bear this out, suggesting that kids can Despite everyone’s lowly expectations, Keats was all the way
things perfectly, she won’t take
display intelligence in many different to within 3,000 feet of the top, when all of a sudden, the
the risks necessary to discover and
ways-through words, numbers, music, weather turned decidedly nasty, even by Kilimanjaro
develop a gift. Encourage your child
pictures, athletic or "hands-on"
to tackle areas that are difficult to her. standards. They passed climbers who were giving up.
abilities, and social or emotional
Follow Eleanor Roosevelt’s Five hours later, 7-year-old Keats Boyd became the youngest
development. As a parent, "You can
suggestion, “Do something that person to ever summit Mount Kilimanjaro. His dad by his
play a crucial role in awakening latent
scares you every day.” Help her learn
talents or developing current strengths side.
to confront her limitations and find
through experiences you give your His parents still wonder; “what on earth is he going to want to
solutions. Praise her efforts and
child at home. Here are 10 ways for do when he’s eight? “
encourage persistency.
you to bring out your child's best, no
matter his age and regardless of how
his gifts are packaged. Story by CBS News Correspondent, Steve Hartman
7 Easy Steps to a
Well-Organized
It’s 7:15, your son is looking for his backpack,
your daughter is crying because she doesn’t
know what to wear, you’ve still got to make their
lunches and you need to be out the door in ten
minutes. Don’t you wish mornings were more or-
ganized?
If you spend a little effort up front, the benefits of
Family
organization can provide more time for you and
your family and less time looking for things and
rushing to get somewhere. We’ve compiled a list
of 7 organizational tips to help get you started.
1 De-clutter We naturally are less stressed when our
surroundings are de-cluttered and organized. Ask each
family member to spend 45 minutes (some may require a
5 Make time for you in the morning Get up 15 or
30 minutes before the family and check mail, make a to-do list,
read or exercise. Go ahead and get ready so you can focus on
whole day!) cleaning out his closet and dresser, placing out-of- your children. The extra time will help improve your attitude-
date and outgrown items in a bag for donation or consignment. setting the tone for the morning.
Remember, it’s not de-cluttering if the items stay in your
house. Take the bags to a local charity and check around for
consignment sales.
Clean out the pantry and fridge in preparation for storage
6 Create Homework Stations Decide on the best
spot in your home to set up homework areas for each child,
keeping in mind the personality of each. Does Johnny focus
better with others around or by himself? Is Sally better suited to sit at
containers. Prepare some grab-and-go snacks such as a table or curled up on the couch? Corral homework tools and
individual fruit containers, nuts and granola bars. Keep supplies for each person into individual containers and store in a
these around for lunches and after-school snacks. nearby bin or hang in an organizer on the back of a door.
2 Take an hour on the Weekend to plan the week.
Make menus, grocery lists and calendars. Ask
your kids what they have planned for the week,
What about all those papers that come
home from school needing your attention;
the piles of junk mail, bills and invitations?
Hunting papers wastes time and when bills
sign school papers and add all of this to the
aren’t paid or permission slips aren’t turned
bulletin board. (see # 4-Command Central)
in, the price for disorganization is paid in
Plan complete outfits from socks to accessories late fees and lost field trips. Create a
and place in gallon-size plastic bags or a hanging place for your homework, as well. You
canvas organizer. Label them with days of the can share a space with your kids or designate a separate
week. quiet area. Adopt one of the suggested storage solutions for
3 Thir ty Minute Round-Up Not many of us are at our
best in the mornings, so why overload ourselves with decisions
and tasks that can be done the night before? Making some
your tools and supplies and keep near by. Set up a filing sys-
tem for important papers and receipts. One option is to use a
binder with tabs or a plastic accordion file. For the binder, use
clear page protectors (found at office supply stores) and in-
preparations in advance creates a less demanding morning, and, if sert your papers. Label tabs for utilities, credit, banking, medi-
everyone pitches in, should not take long. Prepare lunches the night cal, etc. You might even want to have a separate binder for
before. While you’re at it, set out breakfast items. Pack backpacks each child and file special papers and important documents
with homework, money, extra-curricular supplies and set by the back such as copies of their birth certificates, immunization cards
door, or better yet, put in the car. More items you put in the car the and school information.
7
night before equals less chaos the morning of. Don’t forget that
preschoolers and teenagers alike can do most or all of these tasks. Turn back the clock Sleep is when the brain gets
Teaching kids early how to do these things eventually reorganized. Getting enough sleep improves mood, con-
takes the responsibility off you, leaving more time for other centration and decreases irritability. Generally, teens
things. Plus it gives them a sense of accomplishment. need an average of 9 hours of sleep per night. Younger chil-
dren need at least 10. As adults, we need 8 or more. If your
4 Command Central One of the most basic and useful
items of any organized family is a command center. This
is the area where all communications are posted,
family member has a short attention span, is irritable, has
unusually low energy or is more impatient than usual, he
probably needs more sleep. Set a firm bed time and wake-up
time for all members, which includes you! Limit late nights.
calendars are updated, and keys, phones, sunglasses and Keep bedrooms dark and consider turning off or removing
jackets are kept. This can be a simple bulletin board with electronic devices from all bedrooms. Experts say that the
hooks or individual folders hung on the wall. Keep the center artificial light from computers and TV screens tells the
in a public place near the back door. Family schedules, brain that it’s not time to wind down yet. And every ring
announcements, memos and messages should be kept and and ping from cell phones are debits from our sleep hours.
updated here. You may want to have a calendar for each
member in addition to the family calendar. Assign each While we can’t eliminate all the school-year stress, mak-
member a different color for quick reference. ing these small adjustments should make it a little easier.
Getting Young Be the person you want
your children to become.
Randy Carlson
children Parents want their children to grow up to succeed in life.
They want their children to feel like they can do anything
Ready to they put their minds to. This “can-do” attitude comes
from everyday experiences children have early in life
Learn
when others notice and encourage their efforts.
Outside of the family, one of the first places children
have a chance to do well is in school. For young
children, doing well in school means being ready to
Adapted and used with permission of the Alabama Cooperative Extension System (Alabama learn. Being ready to learn is much more than knowing
A&M University and Auburn University).. www.aces.edu the alphabet and counting to ten. Readiness requires
Publications can be ordered by calling our Distribution office at (334) 844-1592 or that children develop their physical abilities, language
writing to the following: skills, self-control, social skills and desire to learn.
Publications Distribution ~ 6 Duncan Hall Annex ~ Alabama Cooperative Extension System,
Auburn University, AL 36849-5632
Part of being ready for school means Self-control-skills begin early in life when Children develop language skills from
that young children have learned how to adults respond promptly and sensitively to their interactions with others. Parents’
cooperate and get along with others. babies’ needs, helping them feel secure. use of language and their responses to
This helps children beginning school to Toddlerhood is the time when children begin children’s attempts to communicate
make friends. Children who make learning to wait, to resist temptation and to guide language learning. By talking with
friends tend to do better in school. meet adult standards for behavior. Adults infants and toddlers, adults help them
must now set rules that are reasonable. connect sounds with meaning.
Good discipline teaches children what good
behavior is and why misbehavior is not
Social Skills for a Can-Do Kid acceptable. Language Skills for a Can-Do
Feels comfortable with other children. Kid
Shows awareness of other children and Self-Control Skills for a Can-Do
their interests. Kid Listens to, understands and talks with
Understands the rights of others. Expresses strong feelings in acceptable others.
ways. Understands simple instructions.
Stands up for own rights and avoids
being taken advantage of. Waits for something instead of insisting Understands a wide variety of everyday
on it immediately. words. Uses words to identify objects.
Plays cooperatively and is generally
positive with other kids. Understands the connection between Listens and pays attention to short
behaviors and consequences. stories, songs and rhymes.
Shows consideration and empathy for
others. Deals with anger and frustration in non- Responds to simple questions.
violent ways.
Treats others fairly. Describes simple feelings. (Happiness,
Shows self-control with others. fear, anger)
Parents’ Guide to Developing Self-
Control Skills
Parents’ Guide to Developing Parents’ Guide to Developing
State simple rules clearly and calmly.
Social Skills Language Skills
Help young children find ways to follow
Use positive discipline to teach self - simple rules. (Simon-Says) Infants & Toddlers
control.
Anticipate young children’s actions and Repeat rhymes ~ Sing songs ~ Read
Take time to understand children’s remind them of the rules before they break simple books ~ Describe to them what
points of view. them. they are doing or feeling ~ Talk to them
Show empathy for their feelings. about the activities of every day life ~
Tell children what they CAN do rather than Repeat children’s speech sounds and
Help them think about how their just what they cannot do. (“You can play with translate them into sensible, everyday
behavior toward others can create or your toys. You cannot play with the remote words.
solve problems. control.”)
Preschoolers
Join children’s play, do what they do, Notice and encourage children when they
have fun together. are behaving well. Encourage them to talk about what
they do each day ~ Ask them
Help them find non-physical alternatives Redirect unwanted behavior by offering questions ~ Read books and talk
to express their feelings. acceptable alternatives. together about the stories ~ Encourage
Model correct behavior. Explain how children’s misbehavior them to use new words ~ Take time to
affects others. listen attentively.
Adults with a GED or HS Diploma earn $158 more a week than those without.
A college degree will earn you $504 more a week.
You’ve succeeded in getting your kids
back to school. Now, it’s time to think
year and $385,000 over a lifetime. This Better yourself.
can make a huge impact on a family’s
about you. If you are among the 39 budget! If you are the typical parent, you are al-
million adults who never graduated from ways doing for your family, leaving your
high school, then With the unemployment rate for those own interests and goals at bay. By ob-
you’ve probably without a GED or high school diploma at taining your GED, you can have the
wondered about 27%, many are seeking a GED. sense of accomplishment and hope for a
the benefits of a better future.
GED. Perhaps
those who have
dropped out of
high school know
better than
Is a GED What can you do?
If you are an Alabama resident without a
high school diploma or equivalent, your
GED is worth getting.
anybody how
valuable a high important? There is a lot of support for Alabamians
school diploma is. seeking a GED:
It can be the key
to a higher Path to a higher education. 2-1-1 Alabama Community Re-
education, a source Directory provides informa-
A college degree can put $500 more a
more competitive salary, and greater tion and resources. 211 is a free
week in your pocket than if you didn’t
employment opportunity. local call from anywhere in Alabama
have a degree and it can provide a ca-
and is available 24/7.
Better paying jobs. reer with advancement. Accredited
colleges typically do not accept students Web sites such as
Adults without a high school diploma or without a GED, including community www.diplomaguide.com provide
GED typically earn $19,400 annually, and technical schools. information and further
which is below the federal poverty line, links.
and usually require further assistance to Better your family.
provide for their families. The types of Register at an official
Parents who get their GED are more
jobs available for those without a GED testing center by calling
likely to encourage their children to get
are cashiers, sheet-metal workers, and the Alabama Department
an education. 91% of children whose
some customer service positions. of Postsecondary Educa-
parents do not have a GED or high
tion at 1-334-242-2900 or
Adults with a GED or High school school degree live in low-income fami-
visit their web site,
diploma earn $158 more than those lies. Getting your GED increases your
www.accs.cc.al.us
without, which adds up to over $8,000 a families' financial security.
10 Ways to Bring Out Your Child’s Best (continued) Further Reading:
Share your successes as a Help her open up to the won- your child in your own interests and Your Child’s Strengths,
family. Talk about positive ders of the world by asking talents. They will be influenced by Discover Them, Develop
things you child did that day intriguing questions like, your example. Them, Use Them, by
and praise his accomplishments. “What would it be like if…” and fill Jenifer Fox, M-ED
Honor your child’s interests by in scenarios such as, “we didn’t (Viking, 2008)
participating with him. If your have the sun?”, or, “What makes a Just like our child, talents and gifts
child likes to use his head to clock tick?”. Find the answers come in many different packages.
bounce the ball, enroll him in a together. One parent says they One of the joys of parenthood is Sparks: How Parents
community soccer league and write a “question of the day” on seeing these gifts come alive in our Can Ignite the Hidden
attend with him. If he likes the fridge in the morning then dis- child. The role we play in develop- Strengths of Teenagers,
music, listen to his music with cuss possible answers over din- ing these strengths will determine by Peter L. Benson
him. Set aside an area in the ner. Listen to your child’s answers. her success. Let’s don’t make the (Jossey-Bass, 2008)
house for displaying creations The things she cares about most mistake of classifying a talent as
and awards, no matter how may provide clues to her special insignificant or small. There are
insignificant you think they are. talents. people who many would consider 7 Tools for Cultivating
to have small talents who are far Your Child’s Potential, by
Kirk Martin of Celebrate Involve your child in home Zan Tyler (Apologia
more effective than those who are
Calm, advises to redirect i m p ro ve m en t ac t i vi t ie s. Educational Ministries,
considered, “big-timers.” We might
your child’s mischievousness Housekeeping, including 2009)
think that the weird voices our child
to positive behavior. If your teen cleaning and cooking, as well as
makes is annoying, but his gift can
sprays graffiti on the side of a reorganizing items and redecorat-
lead to a career as a voice talent.
building, redirect his talent by ing rooms will bring out any crea- Need more help in
It’s important as parents that we
asking leaders of the school to tivity. Unless they’re being de- deciding your own
become our child’s cheerleader and
include him in large art projects structive, let them do it their way. talents?
regularly point out EVERY strength
such as banners at school They may have insight into a bet-
he has. We don’t know where the Go to
games, art for their newspaper or ter way of doing things. Praise
strength might take him. www.toiletpaperentrepre
web site. If he talks his friends their sense of responsibility in
neur.com/blog/how-to-
into wacky ventures, then guide completing the task.
find-your-hidden-
him into a leadership or drama
Keep your own passions talent.com
club.
alive. Make time to involve