Stay Tuned: ‘Pink Collar Crimes’ is irresistibly bizarre

Melissa Crawley More Content Now

Tuesday

Aug 28, 2018 at 9:18 AMAug 28, 2018 at 9:18 AM

After watching the “incredible” stories on “Pink Collar Crimes,” warns host Marcia Clark, “you may never look at your innocent seeming next door neighbor the same way again.” But only if she’s a “PTA mom” or a “society woman” because these ladies are apparently part of one of the fastest growing crime waves in the country. First up is Roxanne in the case of “The Minivan Mom Bank Robber.” In 2009, Roxanne robbed four banks and she decided to rob the first one after she dropped her five kids off at school. It’s completely ridiculous and that’s what makes it so watchable. True crime is riveting. Wacky true crime is practically must-see TV.

Roxanne knows her crimes are absurd. She says so in the first few minutes of her interview. The show agrees and reenacts her story in what I can only describe as “Dateline”-lite. There’s fake Roxanne at her accounts receivable job falsifying the books to increase her commissions. When her prescription drug addiction takes over her senses and her family’s financial problems seem inescapable, she buys a mask and a fake gun and walks home from the robbery with $985 (after apologizing to the bank clerk). If you are thinking that Roxanne paid off some bills, went to the grocery store and got gas after returning home and changing clothes, you’re right. Because what else are you going to do with $985 from a bank you robbed within walking distance of your house?

At this point, Marcia pops up to comment. It will be one of several appearances she makes in front of a green screen depicting bucolic suburban scenes. She pleasantly assures us that Roxanne was in fact, smart (in case you’re thinking she was definitely not). Robbing a bank close to home means no complicated getaway and less chance of being caught with evidence.

The bank employee who handed Roxanne the money says he felt like he was on “Candid Camera,” and I resist the urge to look for the hidden camera that must be in my living room as I listen to Roxanne, her mother, her brother and her neighbor comment on the strange series of events. Her neighbor talks about a dark energy that she felt came from Roxanne’s house. Cut to fake Roxanne unsteadily handing fake neighbor a drink at a pool party reenactment.

When Roxanne tells the story of bank number two, I shout, “Come on!” to no one in particular because this time her choice of disguise was simply a pair of sunglasses. She handed the teller a note and nabbed $1,351. Marcia checks back in. “Multiple crimes,” she says, “establish a pattern of behavior.”

The third bank is in the next county. The fourth is across the street from the third. When a cop pulls her over, she confesses to everything, which is fair enough considering all her demand notes were crumpled in her car’s cup holder. She is sentenced to three years and eight months.

Roxanne is now remarried and off drugs. “I had a little moment of insanity 10 years ago,” she says and asks the interviewer for a glass of wine.

“Pink Collar Crimes” is on Saturdays at 8 p.m. EDT on CBS.— Melissa Crawley is the author of “Mr. Sorkin Goes to Washington: Shaping the President on Television’s ‘The West Wing.’” She has a Ph.D. in media studies and is a member of the Television Critics Association. To comment on Stay Tuned, email her at staytuned@outlook.com or follow her on Twitter at @MelissaCrawley.