Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sometimes
people ask you a question when they really don’t care to hear the answer.

Let
me explain. I’m not much of a customer survey kind of guy. But when a Fifth
Third Bank representative recently called me, I couldn’t wait to give her my
opinion about “dormancy fees” charged on my checking account.

She
listened dutifully, typing every answer without a hint of emotion. If I had
told her I’d rather do business with al-Qaeda than Fifth Third, she would have
recorded it without so much as blinking an eye.

I
scored Fifth Third as low as possible on the survey. She seemed neither
surprised nor alarmed. Then came the payoff question like a big softball right
over the plate: “Did Fifth Third solve my problem?” Despite several calls to
customer service, calls to the branch, talking to a supervisor and repeated
e-mails, they had never even come close. When I informed her of this, she typed
in my response and went to the next question on her list. I guess she’s just the
person who records problems. Someone who I haven't met yet must fix them.

It
seems odd to me though that you’d go to the trouble of calling me for my
opinion without having the ability – or intention– of addressing my concerns.