Sunday, May 10, 2009

seeing is believing in seeing better

Maybe its because someone I know outed herself as an employee of one of the various massive multilateral optometry combines but I seem to be seeing ads for eye wear all the time. Literally all the time, as in: I stay awake around the clock using amphetamines with my eye-lids stapled open and saline solution dripped across my peepers while someone shows me a non-stop loop of optometry service provider commercials. It literally is that frequent.

It culminated in three different optometry ads in one ad break including having a commercial for Service Provider A sledging Service Provider B for not being particularly Australian and all that followed immediately by an ad for Service Provider B (who did not deign to mention their competitors).

What is this? Is the Global Economic Crisis making everyone go blind (or at least blindish)? Are people rushing out to spend their unearned rudd-dollars on fashionable eye-wear? Is it a sinister plot by a malevolent alien force to make everyone more bookish and intellectual seeming and therefore too effete to go to the bother of defending Earth?

I'm banking on the third option because its what I'd do if I were a malevolent alien force.

Lucky I don't need glasses so I'll be around as the last free man, standing on the Statue of Liberty with nothing but a .303 and a ham sandwich, knee-deep in alien slim, screaming 'maniacs!' Or something.

Like all good worn out sci-fi endings you throw 'em the sandwich which they consume with glee, causing a swine like alien flu virus to develop which infects them all and kills the lot in three days flat.