15 January 2015

Posting to a Graveyard

To anyone who might read this, you'd probably assume someone else is writing here. You'd be right. I'm not really the girl who was writing here three years ago. A divorce, several moves and one bachelor's degree (oh boy is that reductive) later, here I am. Sheepishly rearing my head on a mostly dead social media outlet.

Thing is, I have nowhere to collect my thoughts. Or air opinions. I'm uncomfortable with confrontation on Facebook and Twitter is for smarmy wit. Of which i am hardly capable.

I'm not cookie-cutter enough for this platform, but it is one that i am most established on. Oh, and i promise, no humble brags here. I can barely stomach my old posts. Gone are the days of trying (and failing miserably) of making my life look interesting and most unfortunately, pinteresting.

So for anyone still hanging out in the blogger desert, here's where I'm at.

Currently, I hold a Bacherlor's degree in Theatre from ISU.
Meaning that I work at Buffalo Wild Wings as a profession.
I moved back into my parents house in Idaho Falls 2 months ago. A thing i swore i would never do no matter if i was broke, starving, loathing life, depressed, jobless, vicing (to put it nicely. Sort of made that one up.) or any other state of bullshit. I loathe my hometown, but i hope that my 18 year old self understands the concept of self preservation. A change of scenery was in store and my parents welcomed their prodigal daughter with open arms. God bless.

I guess i should mention that I am in this area by choice.
I am taking the opportunity to travel to Chicago as an MFA candidate and to NY to see some casting directors with a few of my old classmates and my acting coach. I needed to stay to save for that, so I haven't thrown in the towel on my career. Just a bit of waiting, I suppose.

And that divorce. That awful black (or maybe red) mark on my record. Its a pretty heartbreaking story and one that may eventually be talked about here, but probably in given time. Its an ache I revisit often and though i am pretty damn candid, writing out everything is too hard. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it and we've been separated for a year; legally divorced for 7 months. I will say that despite all of that, I am doing pretty well. I am working hard to stay motivated on my career goals even though it is SO SOO hard to be motivated when professors and colleagues aren't there to provide pressure.

2 comments:

Good to hear from you again. It's amazing how life turns and twists. You're still an effing rockstar in my book.

PLEASE MOVE TO NYC. I think it's an experience everyone should have. Be prepared to have that city seduce you, chew you up, spit you out and you'll still be in love with it. There's no place like it on earth. I moved away from NYC last August, but I still think a part of me wants to return.

Advice - Condoms. Always. Budget. Always. Homelessness can sometimes just be a single paycheck away. Gratitude. Don't give into the callous of the city. It will ruin what makes you different.