If Romney's not careful, he's going to lose that precious 0% of the black vote.

Advisor: Oh my God, you actually have a negative percentage of the black vote thanks to the peanuts guy. Say something that will help you.Romney: I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.Advisor: That won't work.Romney: Black people are people, my friend.Advisor: ... Try something else.Romney: Peanuts. Salty. Animal food.Advisor: *shoots himself in the head*Romney's Dog: *begins to chew on advisor's corpse*Romney: Who let the dogs out? Who, who who who?

BREAKING: Entire Republican National Convention Stunned As Ann Romney Asks For DivorceTAMPA, FL-Ann Romney shocked the crowd at the Tampa Bay Times Forum into silence Tuesday, announcing during her remarks to the Republican National Convention that she plans to divorce her husband of 43 years, whom the party had just nominated for pr... more »

antidisestablishmentarianism:gameshowhost: Has anyone else noticed how conservatives seem to have grown increasingly displeased with The Onion as conservatism has gone farther and farther over the edge?

It's almost like butthurt, but with more crying.

Probably because their constituents keep getting duped by the articles.