How out are you?

It's a bit complicated. I'm completely out online. I'm out to most of my friends, though not all, and I've requested that they use my preferred name and pronouns.

I'm only out to three family members. One I was outed to against my wishes, and neither her or my mom seem to respect my gender (which hurts because they're fine with me being pansexual). My sister knows my preferred name and pronouns bur doesn't use them, and I'm afraid to push the issue because no one else in my family knows.

I'm also still mostly living in my old identity, because I'm not out to most of my family.