tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post6852673625286778947..comments2015-03-31T16:03:35.488-04:00Comments on Shrink Rap: What to Get Your Psychiatrist for the HolidaysDinahnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-27835209265630264562012-02-01T12:06:11.195-05:002012-02-01T12:06:11.195-05:00So what about when your psychiatrist offers you so...So what about when your psychiatrist offers you something? Today I mentioned I was missing volume 1 of Proust&#39;s works, and my shrink said I could have hers, she wasn&#39;t going to read it anyway. I told her I had already borrowed it and shrugged it off. Damn, that was schizoid of me, I whish I&#39;d at least thanked her as it was a nice gesture.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-19835855733440680532012-01-07T15:08:33.175-05:002012-01-07T15:08:33.175-05:00This is somewhat tangential. My psychiatrist had ...This is somewhat tangential. My psychiatrist had received, or had been given, a sculpture made by one of the other patients. My doc then put it in his office. When I asked &quot;where did that come from?&quot;, I was gently informed that it came from another patient and meant a great deal to that patient (I am assuming it mean a great deal therapeutically to the other patient). When I put two and two together, I went ballistic (but in a good way).<br />The upshot was that the objet d&#39;art was removed, (to my great sense of victory). All I could think was the very absurdly funny thought - almost a cartoon - of walking into a psychiatrist&#39;s office and there, displayed, were objects borne of each patient&#39;s psyche and illness. What do you think, Shrink Rap? Has this ever been an issue for you? ~~I mused, each week another patient could show his or her art work in the office..... I didn&#39;t know whether to laugh or cry, feel vindicated by my demands, or feel selfish - &quot;Hey, what am I, chopped liver?&quot;withallmyhearthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06764353754040759064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-13801706560340426352011-12-20T11:05:18.389-05:002011-12-20T11:05:18.389-05:00Of course, the therapist might not even be Christi...Of course, the therapist might not even be Christian. I figured out that mine was Jewish after I noticed that he was taking off all the Jewish holidays--mostly Passover.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-11359436903485995252011-12-17T11:44:34.794-05:002011-12-17T11:44:34.794-05:00I was in behaviorally-oriented group therapy with ...I was in behaviorally-oriented group therapy with residents, and one left for a child fellowship. We all chipped in and got her some flowers to say goodbye. She accepted them. I think that was okay, because we were terminating the relationship but I also think that the fact that it was group therapy made a difference.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-87887939760790545782011-12-15T12:41:47.339-05:002011-12-15T12:41:47.339-05:00I am a trainee and the standard policy at our clin...I am a trainee and the standard policy at our clinic is to accept the gift and if it is food, it must be shared. Exceptions include lavish gifts and money. I do think that the meaning of the gift must be explored as well. But that does not always mean that the gift should be rejected.Sean Paulhttp://www.boardvitals.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-70584819809184270252011-12-14T00:01:31.137-05:002011-12-14T00:01:31.137-05:00I&#39;ve always given my therapist a small gift of...I&#39;ve always given my therapist a small gift of appreciation at the holidays but nothing expensive (e.g. a book, a christmas ornament, a candle or something like that), but not my psychiatrist. The psychiatrist felt a little more formal and then there was the opposite sex thing with him, so I didn&#39;t want him to read anything into it that wasn&#39;t there. I probably wouldn&#39;t ever give a bottle of wine as a gift to someone unless I knew for a fact that they drink wine. Never know if someone is a recovering alcoholic.<br /><br />wv = Supro. Short for Suprofloxacin, an antibiotic used to kill the type of bacteria found on physician&#39;s ties and lab coats. A Cyp1A2 inhibitor. <br /><br />LeslieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-70810034173044826222011-12-11T12:45:20.832-05:002011-12-11T12:45:20.832-05:00I&#39;d just give them a candy cane.I&#39;d just give them a candy cane.C.J. Brennerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564328005764077809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-44820555854259033302011-12-10T22:44:05.049-05:002011-12-10T22:44:05.049-05:00I have seen the same therapist for 8 years (yikes!...I have seen the same therapist for 8 years (yikes!). And I always spend considerable time writing her a thank you note in my Christmas card. I also buy her a gift and she graciously accepts it. I do consider the &quot;card&quot; the more important part of the gift. I spend a lot of time choosing my words and expressing my gratitude. <br /><br />The first few years, she mentioned that I was much more expressive in my writing than in therapy. That was interesting news to me. I assumed I expressed all these feelings in her office - maybe not so directly. So I learned that I needed to be more direct in my thoughts.<br /><br />My gifts have run the gambit from a bottle of beautiful wine (after a trip to Napa Valley), to a book (I think it was called &quot;God&#39;s Shrink&quot;), a necklace ... and of course there was one horrible year when I was angry and gave her nothing. Do you think she noticed?<br /><br />This year - I&#39;m writing the card and I&#39;m still deciding what to give her - and I will give her something. I can&#39;t imagine not having her in my life. She&#39;s my rock.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-63025612509955135112011-12-10T12:56:31.344-05:002011-12-10T12:56:31.344-05:00When I read this post the first time, I gave a Chr...When I read this post the first time, I gave a Christmas card to my psychiatrist and told him he is the best psychiatrist in the world, along with other &quot;thank you&quot;s, and he proceeded to tell me that he is sure he is NOT the best psychiatrist in the world. I found THAT to be hurtful. <br /><br />When I see my hair stylist near Christmas, I give her an extra large cash gift (about another 20% in addition to the 20% tip) because as a service person I already tip her with money and it is the gift she would most like to receive. However, when I worked as a nurse&#39;s aide in a skilled nursing facility in college, family of patients would frequently gift large baskets of candy or other food for the staff to share, and that never felt like a boundary violation, it felt like a thank you. I give gifts to my veterinarian and send him a Christmas card. That is a thank you to let him know I am grateful for what he has done for my pets during the year. It may be his job to save the lives of pets and I may pay him to do that, but he cares and is terrific at his job and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I give my dentist or general practitioner a gift if I visit during the holiday season. I have chosen them because they are really good at what they do. I do not take that for granted. There are lots of awful hair stylists out there and doctors and vets who can&#39;t diagnose illness properly and dentist who put in fillings that fail. Really. There are. I am very grateful, for &quot;the team&quot; of professionals I use that are so very, very good at their jobs that I consider them worth going to. I don&#39;t think being grateful to people who provide a service for a fee is pathological, especially people who are really good at their job and put their heart and soul into helping people. I think it is normal. That is why I generally give a nice bottle of wine to my psychiatrist at Christmas. He is not a typical psychiatrist. He&#39;s extraordinary.Sunny CAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11451116932556227816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-25665134906547017402011-12-09T01:20:59.162-05:002011-12-09T01:20:59.162-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540287164644184366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-20091190879883933742011-12-09T01:16:31.422-05:002011-12-09T01:16:31.422-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10540287164644184366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-72855664577629210412011-12-08T12:20:22.781-05:002011-12-08T12:20:22.781-05:00I&#39;m not sure I understand this. I&#39;m actual...I&#39;m not sure I understand this. I&#39;m actually really surprised that anyone would give a gift to their psychiatrist, especially if the psych is their therapist. Is this really a thing that people do? It seems well beyond the realm of acceptable or desirable doctor-patient interactions. I don&#39;t mean to imply that I condemn people who give or accept gifts within these relationships; what I&#39;m saying is that, based on my understanding of the issues that would be involved, I never thought anyone would do this at all.Lunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-38908596354844077752011-12-08T10:00:06.903-05:002011-12-08T10:00:06.903-05:00I was a lot more naive about this issue back then,...I was a lot more naive about this issue back then, before I learned more from this blog and from experience in therapy (not that I ever wanted to give him anything.)<br /><br />On the note of other Dr.&#39;[s, well a week before my pregnancy was due I made a choc angel food cake from SCRATCH, and it never got eaten (I was in and out of the hospital every day in the last two overdue weeks of my pregnancy). I mentioned this to my GP at the first checkup and he enthusiastically said I&#39;d have been welcome to have my hubby drop it off at his office and they&#39;d have enjoyed it. <br /><br />I&#39;m still nervous on the whole issue of docs and gifts tho so I&#39;ve never dropped anything off.<br /><br />What about when your therapist gives YOU something? I know it would depend what, and especially WHY . . . but well I know of a situation that was unusual but appropriate (imho).Sarebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09208596053319110470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-57200016159405929322011-12-07T20:59:18.805-05:002011-12-07T20:59:18.805-05:00Chocolates for the stylist is a great idea. As is ...Chocolates for the stylist is a great idea. As is frequently the case, my attitudes on these things is similar to Dinah&#39;s. The key in accepting a Christmas gift is a combination of the overall context of it with the price of the gift. Baked cookies, yes. A small token, yes. Anything truly substantial though should not be accepted, much as the Shrink might want to (and, again, everything should be thought through in regard to the overall context and treatment.<br /><br />When I was in training one of the residents was treating a man from Argentina. At Christmas he received an invitation to fly to Argentina on the family jet and spend two weeks at their ranch. He turned it down (being a Shrink is not always easy).<br /><br />When I say the Shrink should look at the context, even in small matters a gift might come with a subtext: &quot;I just told you some terrible things about me and I want to be sure you still like me.&quot; It can be a bribe. It can be a seduction. It can simply be a gift given out of gratitude. The important concept is that we think about everything. Unlike a physical examination done by an internist, everything that occurs might be some window into how we can help the patient, and we do not want to lose that opportunity.jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11077223398907532291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-11134802306411993122011-12-07T19:51:47.514-05:002011-12-07T19:51:47.514-05:00Thanks, PDFdoc. Not sure I&#39;ll order one, but ...Thanks, PDFdoc. Not sure I&#39;ll order one, but I did think it was funny (and I do feel that way in the mornings myself.)<br /><br />Carrie, I can&#39;t imagine that shrink didn&#39;t think it was very kind and thoughtful. <br /><br />Just so everyone is clear, the holiday gift for the shrink idea was meant to be a bit humorous. I think one or two patients a year will give me some type of gift, and maybe one or two cards. It&#39;s really not part of the &#39;expected&#39; and it&#39;s hard not to be a bit uncomfortable with it when it&#39;s been drilled so deeply into us. It has nothing to do with either the giver/ the gift/ or the intent. <br /><br />I did buy chocolates for my hair stylist for the first time ever.Dinahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09227988351623862689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-4611955450629315502011-12-07T17:58:34.456-05:002011-12-07T17:58:34.456-05:00Hmm. I&#39;ve never thought about holiday gifts - ...Hmm. I&#39;ve never thought about holiday gifts - possibly because my religion does not celebrate the major holidays - but I have been known to write thoughtful thankful cards at random. I&#39;m sure the shrinks think there&#39;s much more meaning to it then the really simple truth - I am so thankful for all that you do.Jennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-36353942319461713572011-12-07T17:00:38.708-05:002011-12-07T17:00:38.708-05:00Dinah - I&#39;m not sure if I&#39;m allowed to wri...Dinah - I&#39;m not sure if I&#39;m allowed to write the site where I got the bumper sticker...as you can imagine, I got about 30 different ones...good for holding my car together when it gets too rusty. Cafepress.com, I think, and they put thousands of expression onto just about any surface. And, I live rurally, so took my psychiatrist&#39;s suggestion and went back on ebay to buy a headlight and reflective vest (he wasn&#39;t impressed with that interpretation of his advice), but I actually have used them for their intended purpose, running in the middle of the night. I have tried running without light, but have ended up staggering from ditch to ditch trying to get home. I have a treadmill too, but my personal pack of dogs (5) chase me, and it&#39;s not worth the re-schooling every time!<br /><br />Carrie, I think that your psychiatrist was insensitive not to accept your gift, and think that your wedding photo card is a wonderful idea!PDFdocnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-49087548946916641482011-12-07T15:06:58.673-05:002011-12-07T15:06:58.673-05:00I think I may have told this story before, but my ...I think I may have told this story before, but my psychiatrist sees me for no fee due to a too-long-to-explain issue. At any rate, for Christmas in 2008, I gave him a gift card to a restaurant. The total worth of the gift card was that of 3 visits. I didn&#39;t give it to him expecting different treatment or anything like that. The next visit, he returned it to me. I was so upset!!<br /><br />In December of 2009, my now husband and I went out to dinner using that gift card - then walked to the Art Museum, where he proposed. So hey, it came into use anyway! Haha<br /><br />Moral of this story is, I&#39;ve not even given a card for the past few years - this year I might, as the cards we&#39;re giving are made of a wedding photo.Carrienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-53090768371249548482011-12-07T14:57:48.626-05:002011-12-07T14:57:48.626-05:00thanks for this helpful reminder.
http://pocketsh...thanks for this helpful reminder.<br /><br />http://pocketshrink.blogspot.comLizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11830164099906188153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-9329492047075703752011-12-07T12:06:55.217-05:002011-12-07T12:06:55.217-05:00I think it ate my comment. That&#39;s ok, I was g...I think it ate my comment. That&#39;s ok, I was going to delete it anyway.Sarebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09208596053319110470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-66351107098083606532011-12-07T08:31:13.951-05:002011-12-07T08:31:13.951-05:00Frenetic, you&#39;ll make his (?) day!
PDF Doc: ...Frenetic, you&#39;ll make his (?) day!<br /><br />PDF Doc: Okay, WHERE did you get that bumper sticker???? If your doc didn&#39;t secretly love it, there is seriously something wrong with him. And I hope you live somewhere safe to run at night. A treadmill, perhaps?Dinahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09227988351623862689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-14242548639491635262011-12-07T07:14:23.125-05:002011-12-07T07:14:23.125-05:00Psychiatrists are in that group of specialties whe...Psychiatrists are in that group of specialties where the physician seen the patient over a prolonged period of time, and patients often do want to express their gratitude. I think that it is the polite thing to do to accept the gift, but understand that in large hospital/training program situations, blanket rules may be unavoidable.<br /><br />I am not in the long term patient area, but still usually receive some cards and bottles of wine.<br /><br />Earlier this year while manic, I stripped ebay&#39;s shelves, and presented my psychiatrist with a bumper sticker reading &quot;some mornings it&#39;s just not worth chewing through the restraints&quot;, and a tile coaster imprinted with a Rorschach blot. I thought this was uproariously funny at the time, while he maintained his unreadable psychiatrist&#39;s facade, and suggested that I could go out to run in the middle of the night when I couldn&#39;t sleep, rather than shop. I don&#39;t know what kind of car he drives, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I won&#39;t be able to identify it by the bumper sticker.<br /><br />So, maybe I&#39;ll stick to a card and bottle of wine for Christmas - thanks for the suggestions!PDFdocnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-11320293095608010852011-12-07T00:10:53.395-05:002011-12-07T00:10:53.395-05:00A well thought out message written in a card is be...A well thought out message written in a card is best, I think. I remember last year sending thank you notes to the surgeons that performed my surgery, thanking them for improving the quality of my life - which they really did. They both commented on their individual cards the next time I saw them for a follow-up.<br /><br />Now, have a brand new psychiatrist this year that has been amazing and really worked with me to find some solutions. I will spend some time to write out a thank you letter that I think is appropriate.Freneticnoreply@blogger.com