A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

- A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

- A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

- An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

- The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

- An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.

0:00-0:20: The fat guy on the left. I can’t look away.1:05: Bro in the hat and shades gets kicked in the ass. Hard.1:15: Victim #2 explains that it’s his dream to get punched in the face. Anthony punches him in the face. Real hard. When the victim regains his senses, he says, “Jose Aldo, you are so fucked up.” Oh boy. That’s grounds for a treason charge in Brazil.1:52: We see that the fat guy has a lazy eye and braces. He gets kicked in the belly…twice. Jesus, man. This wasn’t part of the deal.3:25: Pettis jams a turning side-kick into a guy rolled up in bubble-wrap.3:52: Pettis starts to beat the ever-loving shit out of the guy rolled up in bubble-wrap.4:06: For a moment, I begin to feel bad for the guy rolled up in bubble-wrap.4:27: This beating is still going on? Unbelievable.5:08: The moment you’ve all been waiting for — the Showtime Kick.5:59: “Holy sheetzch.”

Follow Jade on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and keep an eye out for her new website, coming soon. And if you want to see a sequel to “MMA Impressions With Jade Bryce,” please throw some impression-suggestions into the comments section…

Years ago, my dad saw a young Georges St. Pierre fight before I did. When I finally got a chance to see GSP in action, I agreed with my dad that he was like some Jean Claude Van Damme movie character come to life, what with his crazy kicks and foreign accent.

How awesome and funny would it be if Van Damme and his real fighter counterpart ever met, we laughed. Turns out, it’s just creepy.

Van Damme spent some time in Montreal with St. Pierre before UFC 154 working out, which is captured in this new video that he produced. We give Van Damme credit for being an actual athlete and for staying in amazing shape — and for, more than likely, being able to kick our asses — but he is creeping into Steven Seagal territory with this video.

While no one can approach the arrogance and outright fabrications of Seagal, Van Damme’s video does include a highlight reel mixing him acting in movies and St. Pierre fighting in real life. Ok, for writers of a certain age (mine) who grew up loving Van Damme movies, short-short splits on counter tops and all, the highlight reel is kind of dope.

Then you realize, “wait, is he actually drawing parallels between his movie roles and St. Pierre?” All that we can forgive the fifty-something actor. It is understandable that a Hollywood actor would try to get attention by jumping on to the MMA bandwagon. Van Damme also seems to be a legit fan of the sport and its athletes. It’s just that he may be too much of a fan of its athletes. Remember his creepy attempted make-out session with Fedor a few years ago?

Okay. What in the actual fuck is going on on top of Tank Abbott‘s head in this video? And why does Aaron Tru spend a full six-minutes with the man without even mentioning it? We’re supposed to let this Peter Brady-looking monstrosity slide, just because Tank is an old badass who used to mock his opponents’ seizures during the Clinton administration?

Instead of hearing Tank’s opinions about Tito Ortiz, or what he thinks of modern MMA compared to old-school NHB — talk about pitching one down the middle, by the way — here’s what I’d like to know: Is the hair for a movie role or something? And how many nutria had to die in order to sew it together?