Monday, December 1, 2014

Yes, as the calendar begins its countdown to Christmakuh, it's once again time for the gift guide. Where Dr. Grumpy will help you pick out the finest in tasteful, fashionable, and useful items.

This year, I'm going to kick things off with a solution to a common problem: What to do with a dead rodent.

You've finally killed that pesky mouse that was terrorizing your kids and less-than-impressive dog or cat... but now what? I mean, it seems like a pretty long walk to take it out to the trash can. And after he was kind enough to jump-start your car you really don't want to toss it into the neighbors yard, either.

So why not make it into a lovely decorative piece?

"Well, it beats the leg lamp you imported from Fragilé."

Yes, for only $47 you can give a loved one the complete Mouse Taxidermy Kit. It includes instructions and materials, you just have to supply imagination, props... and, of course, an ex-mouse.

"Do they sell one in St. Bernard size?"

Start a new pastime with the passed-on. It's sure to be a fine conversation piece for a living room, cubicle, or dashboard.

I had the first thought as 82medici, but then reread it, and realized it was the neighbor who did the jumpstarting.

We have plenty of field mice too (and I think some squirrels in the addition's ceiling), however the only time we see them outside the walls is when the cats have caught one and not bothered to eat the whole thing. Sadly, pieces, parts, is probably not adequate for practicing taxidermy on.

Hey guys, I KNEW what he meant, but I was trying to make a joke.Denise Perry, if we rephrase the sentence the way you suggest, I would have to wonder why you would throw your now-running car into your neighbor's yard.

Can't beat that fudge "intended for both the consonssiuer of aesthetics, as well as the conossiuer of gourmet treats" (wow! I guess there were two possible spellings and they didn't want to get it wrong both times, eh?), but I'll add to the list of great things one can do with the mice: http://dangerousminds.net/comments/taxidermied_mice_chess_set

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.