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As Tom learns, so do we. And for a character who basically exists to serve as an audience proxy for explanations, Barnes is an engaging enough lead, lending Tom a sarcastic sense of humor from which the film greatly benefits. Watch Chappie Online

That’s part of what makes Movie a decently engaging watch: nothing is taken with the sort of overt seriousness that sinks films like I, Frankenstein. Watch Focus Online

This starts with the film’s leads; Bridges is a lot more fun as a crusty, seen-it-all warrior type here than in dross like R.I.P.D., and Moore deserves substantial praise for her vigorous vamping as Mother Malkin. Watch The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Online

As she slinks and cackles her way through gems like “my power returns with the rise of the blood moon,” Moore pulls off that balance at which she’s often so adept and which few other actresses can match, that line between knowing self-effacement and true gravitas. Watch Kingsman The Secret Service Online

Everybody involved is game, which is why it ends up being more than a little disappointing that Movie is more than willing to work through hyper-predictable beats, one after the next, until the whole thing resolves. Watch The SpongeBob Movie Sponge Out of Water Online

Were the film willing to get weird and find its own footing, it would be considerably more interesting than its eventual trajectory of boy meets master of his craft, boy learns craft himself. Watch Fifty Shades of Grey Online

Boy ends up in a star-crossed romance with a comely half-witch (Alicia Vikander), Moore turns into a dragon with red dreadlocks, boy enters an ultimate final battle that will test his mettle. Watch 50 shades of grey Online

The film’s core romance is tepid; the broken one that constitutes its mythos is considerably more interesting, but is rather brusquely tossed aside before the end. Watch The Lazarus Effect Online

Still, there’s fun to be had with Movie, as long as you go in knowing that you’ll scarcely see a single thing you haven’t before. Watch Unfinished Business Online

A chase through the woods between Gregory and Tom and a boggart (not a manifestation of your worst fears in your wardrobe, but rather a Godzilla-lite giant in this context). Watch Jupiter Ascending Online

Is quick and enjoyable and works even when it blatantly cribs one of the most famous shots from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Watch The Boy Next Door Online

Most of the action is quick but lucid, with little of the distracting smash editing that characterizes so many recent Hollywood action outings. Watch The DUFF Online

Movie doesn’t break much new ground, but it’s a reasonably entertaining walk through familiar, friendly territory. Every once in a while, that’s okay too. Watch Unbroken Online

I felt bad going after Jupiter Ascending because while it’s a deeply flawed film, at least the Wachowskis showed some ambition and sincerity in making it. Watch Black or White Online

Click here for my review. I don’t feel bad at all about crapping on Movie because it’s a cynical piece of cinematic garbage. Watch McFarland USA Online

Based on Joseph Delaney’s YA/fantasy novel The Spook’s Apprentice, Movie is what happens when a guy in a board meeting says, “Kids sure do like Harry Potter. Watch Cinderella Online

For some reason, the Chosen One has to be the Movie of a Movie. This is never explained. I was expecting there to be some kind of legend, like “once upon a time, a Movie did something that resulted in a gift/curse,” but no. Watch The Hobbit The Battle of the Five Armies Online

It’s just like—first son inherits, second son is a priest, Movie gets chucked at a witch. This is a common trope in folklore, but it has to be the Movie in an unbroken line of male children, because women, they always ruin everything. Watch Run All Night Online