What once ensured that I sat at a table next to the teacher is now posted, Monday through Friday.

I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Careful Around the Punchbowl There, Karl

Like all right-thinking citizens of the mostly-modern world, I’m on Facebook.

I got tired of people saying things like “didn’t you get the update?” or “oh, we knew about their new dog on Tuesday, when they got him. That’s old news”.

So I bought in.

And out they came, every person I’d ever met. Facebook had all kinds of friend suggestions for me, from my junior-high boyfriends to high-school science partners to people I had suspected were dead and/or imprisoned, all with pictures and links and frighteningly angry opinions on everything ranging from how to parent your children to fast food.

Here I thought ol’ FB would be more like a party. You know, we’d chat, share some photos, buy each other a couple of virtual drinks and talk about that screenplay we were pretty sure we could write if we had more time.

But like every party, I seem to have wandered into the part of the kitchen cordoned off for the politically angry, the porch dedicated to several weeping individuals who want to know WHY, WHY?, the back steps where a group is (virtually) hugging fervently and passing out (virtual) promises.

I am not among the most readily in touch with my (virtual) emotions and tend to look at these things askance.

And for this – and for using the word “askance” – I will pay.

I offer you this unseemly exchange from a couple weeks back as proof.

Brent - a person I knew a good 15 years ago and now seems prone to sending warm and loving regards to all, sparkling angels, and What Kind Of Elf Would You Be quizzes - posts on his wall: Until you have loved an animal, a part of your soul remains undeveloped.

Pearl - a callus individual I sometimes claim not to know and will refer to here in the third person - responded: And once you have loved an animal and been caught, you have a police record.

I worried about my cynical post immediately, only to have a number of comments of the “LOL” variety follow in quick succession.

32 comments:

It CAN be a righteous indignation fiesta. Sure it feels good in the moment, but someone's gonna get hurt. I had to block people who were espousing extreme (to me) left or right wing paranoid conspiracy theories etc. I find it's been a good source of straight lines recently. Nice birthday reminders. (note-you don't HAVE to put in your birthdate)

Ha ha ha! I hear you...things are rarely what they seem, and although this is my third flirt with FB, I have abandoned it lately. I'm just tired of knowing who is eating where with whom. And I don't like people knowing when I'm not home anyway! I must admit, though, you can tell a lot about a person by their sense of humor based on what they post. Vickie

No, you are not! Given my reluctance to using exclamation points, you may see how emphatically I believe this.fb is one weird party, for sure. Wish I could lol, or maybe even snicker a bit; but mostly, it's not funny.

I was accused of bragging the last time I said I wasn't on FB or any of the other social virtual outlets so I will just say, FB ain't for everyone. Take a look around and if you don't like what you see, back out quickly and lock the door.

I'm with those of the non-Facebook persuasion - mostly, I'm afraid, because I fear getting mired in yet another time-sucking sponge of technology. Anything I need to know, I eventually find out the old-fashioned way. By email.

You are SO far from being that ... thing that I can't say because I'm about to have lunch. In blogland you are the ginger ale/vodka/pineapple juice/other good stuff with your zing and kick and even nutrition and sweetness. From what I've heard, FB could use a good dose of that.

More seriously, you can screen and control what people write and read. and always be aware of privacy. I lied about my birthday - they just need to know i'm of legal age to use the site - not the fine details.

It's been a good place for keeping informed of my family and friends. Mixed blessings.

"imprisoned" - You never know they might out on parole awaiting trial.I could rant on about what is wrong with FB but being the excellent blogger you are, I would be singing to the choir as some say. I don't, because I can't sing. I have expressed my opinion about FB on my blog in numerous posts. Some make it a pity party. Others use it for their political party. Most don't know what the hell they are doing. "Like" is a simple thing to click. Share is not much tougher. Now writing your own original thought - I would guess maybe 10% have done that. OH sorry this is starting to be a rant and I should take those things to FB.

Come sit on my porch! We'll chat, share some photos, buy each other a couple of virtual (non-alcoholic, sorry!) drinks and talk about that screenplay we were pretty sure we could write if we had more time!