Can I just say that I doubt most people could hit a cow's arse with a banjo. Either the cow is going to run away -- and it'll surely be faster than a human -- or it's going to turn around and say `come on then. let's be having you.' Not many people could have a cow in a fight. I mean, obviously if the cow was in a milking shed and couldn't turn, that's a different story...but then I ask why you'd be there with a banjo anyway. Especially if you were a premier league striker.

Can I just say that I doubt most people could hit a cow's arse with a banjo. Either the cow is going to run away -- and it'll surely be faster than a human -- or it's going to turn around and say `come on then. let's be having you.' Not many people could have a cow in a fight. I mean, obviously if the cow was in a milking shed and couldn't turn, that's a different story...but then I ask why you'd be there with a banjo anyway. Especially if you were a premier league striker.

The Usain Bolt of cows can reach 25mph. Usain bolt can get to almost 28mph.

Ironically Usain Bolt himself, despite a recent brace, cannot hit the barn door next to where the cow is standing.

If we had a player at the club who was scoring goals for fun don't you think we would have played him?

Agree none of the current crop are anywhere nearly good enough however I believe the answer will be to bring in someone new.

We did have one - but now he's scoring for fun at Brighton. I would like to see one or two of our hungry academy strikers being given a chance. It might be better in the end than wasting another 50 mil on an "established" donkey.

His whole demeanour on the touchline, stands hands in pockets looking bored, makes no subs (until Sunday) and just generally looks fed up with life!! OK OK maybe I got it wrong but plenty of people were calling for his head a week or two back!! Like I said, it's opinions, everyones is different!! Hopefully he'll turn things round now, we will see!

Have you seen Mourinho's sulky dugout demeanour? What's Roy supposed to do be doing on the touchline at 71 - a f***ing Irish Jig? I have not heard "plenty of people" calling for his head.

Have you seen Mourinho's sulky dugout demeanour? What's Roy supposed to do be doing on the touchline at 71 - a f***ing Irish Jig? I have not heard "plenty of people" calling for his head.

Ok they were on BBS. No one expects him to dance around no, that s***e belongs to the c*** that is/was Pardew..plenty were bitching that he never made substitutions until it was too late and there is even a thread entitled 'the next Palace manager'. FWIW I hope he stays and turns it around again..if he can do to Chelsea spurs and moan u then I guess everyone will be happy?

The Usain Bolt of cows can reach 25mph. Usain bolt can get to almost 28mph.

Ironically Usain Bolt himself, despite a recent brace, cannot hit the barn door next to where the cow is standing.

But even the fastest PL strikers can only get to ~22mph and I'm unconvinced there is a Usain Bolt of cows. I hold most cows would outrun most humans. Plus, it's s human holding a banjo. That's going to slow the human down.

But even the fastest PL strikers can only get to ~22mph and I'm unconvinced there is a Usain Bolt of cows. I hold most cows would outrun most humans. Plus, it's s human holding a banjo. That's going to slow the human down.

My research has shown that cows can reach a speed approaching 25 MPH. I have to admit that in all my years I have never seen a cow demonstrating such fleetness of foot, all I have seen are cows sitting down or chewing the cud in genteel fashion.Always viewed them as slothful rather than energetic.

My research has shown that cows can reach a speed approaching 25 MPH. I have to admit that in all my years I have never seen a cow demonstrating such fleetness of foot, all I have seen are cows sitting down or chewing the cud in genteel fashion.Always viewed them as slothful rather than energetic.

The question is how actually easy is it to hit a cows arse with a banjo. maybe there could be a HOL field trip if somebody has a banjo.