Committed vs. Interested

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Those of you, who have had a chance to work with me, have noticed that I pay attention not just to what is said, but how it is said. You will have seen that I ask for congruency in everything, and that I take words that, I feel and know are light, weak and incongruent, with a pinch of salt! I don’t give them attention and don’t encourage them. Why? Because they are stories, that have very little to do with a real commitment to change!

It has been an interesting week…After a month of sheer delight and learning, exchanging knowledge and learnings; after a month spent in the presence of some of the greatest minds of our time, and having had a chance to learn from them, it was refreshing to see, the total absence of ego, and a pure unadulterated desire to give and share. It was, needless to say, pure bliss.

Given that I believe in balance and perfect cosmic order, upon landing in Serbia, I was greeted with a giant ball of various ego driven people and situations;-). These, observed from a distance, may appear strong, together, in control… However, the moment you scratch the surface, you can see fear, anxiety, no substance, behind the strong veneer! This, sadly, is Serbian reality. Excuses, stories, inflated sense of self, confidence on steroids, need for external verification, need for feeding the almighty ego…And then, a huge bang and crash and emptiness! Painful state of realization that long- term investment in the external part of ourselves, bears very little fruit! For as long, as someone’s sense of true identity and self-confidence depends on the external factors, there’s very little hope for anything else and almost no ingredients left to build a compelling future.

Letting go of the familiar

Unhappy people are a regular feature wherever you go. They seem to be spending their lives focusing on choosing what doesn’t work, and what is the ‘wrong’ formula for their wellbeing, happiness, health, relationships… This is where the fear of change, real change is buried and where it resides. In the very fact, that if they find a solution for their challenges, they will almost certainly loose their identity and the meaning of life. For they find the meaning of life in telling people their story, without any desire whatsoever to find a formula that works. Their intention is non-existent and we know that where intention goes, attention follows. That is why, you will often hear these very people telling you that they’ve ‘tried everything’ and ‘seen everyone’ and ‘nothing works’! And they are right!!! Why? Because they are not interested in getting their lives sorted out, they just like to talk about it. In short, they like to talk about themselves. It is a great paradox, people who like talking about themselves, are the least interested in hearing out other people’s stories, they are so wrapped up in their own world, that other people exist only as a sounding board for them.

They are not truly committed to finding a solution for whatever their challenge at the present moment might be.

True commitment is shown in real time action, when one is prepared to do whatever it takes to find a solution. Most people are only interested. They let the moment influence whether they will do what they promise themselves or not.

Real, true commitment starts when the element of fun disappears!

This coming weekend, I invite you go through the things, the dreams, the desires and plans you really want to commit to, knowing that no matter what happens, you will follow through!

Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book.