no offence but it's kai and not kia,and i hope you will update soon cuz this story was placed here in 2010 so that's pretty much 3 years ago(almost 4).sincerily . the ghost of nature (ps since a short while ago this became a shared account ammong friends)

I must say that I like the concept here and it seems pretty interesting so far. Even with the fact that it's a touch OOC I still like this quite a bit.

On the other hand I noticed a few errors. The first being that I'm pretty positive that you mean 'Kai' instead of 'Kia.' Second off is that I reccomend using proper spacing to make this easier to read.

eg. "Fine, tell me your new address again." He said while grabbing his trusty lighter and cigarettes.

"Yay" Kia yelled happily.

instead of "Fine, tell me your new address again." He said while grabbing his trusty lighter and cigarettes. "Yay" Kia yelled happily.

Other than that their were a few spelling errors but that is relatively minor. Hope you can get those fixed, and I'm really looking forward to an update on this.