Tech support

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?Customer: Yeah....Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Female customer: A white one... ===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can! 't get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... ===============

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello... I can't print.Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...===============Customer: I have problems printing in red...Tech support: ! Do you have a color printer?Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.===============Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.===============Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.Customer: OKTech support: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: YesTech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?===============

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.Tech support: Can you te! ll me what the password was?Customer: Five stars.===============Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.===============Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?===============

Awoman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."===============

And last but not least:....Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."Customer: I don't have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!