Parenting Fail

Other times you realise the immense amount of things you have failed to teach your children.

Usually fairly important, basic things. Because these are the things we take for granted. The things we forget need explaining.

And then you realise you do actually need to do explaining. A hell of a lot of explaining.

On Saturday, as we were driving to our friend’s house for dinner we had to slow in the middle of a nearby village because there had been an accident.

It was very sad.

Three police cars were blocking one lane and a mini roundabout, and in the middle of the roundabout there was a body under a blanket. There was no shattered glass or debris, so I assume it must have been a cyclist or a pedestrian.

As we were circumnavigating the scene Tilly said: ‘Oh dear. It looks like that person is dead.’

Oscar piped up: ‘No. It’s alright. He’s probably only mostly dead.’

(I had visions of the Princess Bride here)

Tilly said: ‘There is no such thing as mostly dead Oscar. When you’re dead you are all dead.’

Oscar was very indignant: ‘No, Tilly! What about the five second rule? You’ve got five seconds to get up, and then it’s alright.’

We spent the rest of the journey explaining why the five second rule doesn’t apply in real life.

It’s probably very wrong of me – but oscar gave me the best laugh I’ve had all week. As for the 5 second rule… I’d be very lively and jump up in 5 seconds or less if only my knees weren’t dead zombies.