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Author
Topic: Thought I'd update! (Read 3192 times)

During the summer I didn't get the full picture of what it feels like to be totally EXHAUSTED. Whenever I felt weak or bleh during the day I could just throw myself back into bed and forget about it, but now at school from 7:20 to 2:20 every day I'm trying to learn to cope with it and get through the day. It's so remarkably different from last year. I didn't feel ANYWHERE near this... blah (I can't think of another word for it?). So, it's going to take adjusting but I think I can do it.

I'm considering telling my teachers that I'm taking medication that makes me tired and stuff but not go into it any further than that - just so I can maybe get some understanding/patience with them and stuff. All of my teachers so far seem REALLY nice so I don't think there will be a problem. I also have some old teachers that I'm friends with that would be more than happy to spend time with me afterschool or something if I feel like I'm falling behind. I'm way beyond determined to make this year work.

Anyway, Monday was the first day, and it was odd. The new batch of freshmen seemed so tiny and confused. I can't remember ever being like that (I'm a junior this year). I did my part in initiation by directing a few newbs to the opposite side of the school when they asked directions.

Hey, it happened to me. It's life!

They'll do it when they're juniors/seniors, too. Tradition, people!

By the way, this year there are exactly nine hundred and twenty six freshmen. There are about 690 sophomores, 730 juniors and 700 or so seniors. You do the math. There are easily over 3000 kids in my highschool.

The graduating senior class last year was 500 or something like that. Think about how many extras we got. The hallways are SO claustrophobic. Near the lunchroom/security office it is SO crowded that when walking through I feel like I'm going to pass out. You can feel people pressing in on you from all sides, and it's still quite humid out so that factor added in makes it almost unbearable.

First period is algebra 2 with a teacher I had last year. It's fantastic. I enjoy the material, I love the teacher, the students in the class are quiet and not distracting. Perfect for the morning. I'm very pleased.

Second period is creative writing I. I have a very angry butch lesbian for a teacher. but the class seems interesting and to be honest, she doesn't seem all that mean. plus the class is SMALL and theyre all into writing so I know I'm going to enjoy it.

third period is environmental science. This week it'll be changed to an AP (advanced placement) class where I could maybe get some scholarships from at the end of the year from the dreaded AP test.

fourth period i either have a science lab a study hall or gym. depending on the day. gym seems to be atrocious. note to self: find a way out of swimming

fifth is art 3. horrific teacher, horrific class, boring material. i may drop it. ill decide by next week. =/ i could use some advice on this one. everyone has told me they would shoot me if i drop art altogether because they think im a good artist, but it's such torture for me, and it's an elective, and i'm not interested in the material, and dont wish to go into art as a career.

should I drop it?

bah

anyway, sixth is british literature. whicih will soon be an honors class once they stop fucking my schedule up

seven is world history. ADORE THE TEACHER. also an honors class. VERY interested. the students in the class are irritating though. but generally nice to me! which is surprising

eight is spanish 3. tediously boring, but i already promised myself i'd take four years of spanish in highschool.

and then college prep geometry last period. the teacher has been sick, it's a class with a bunch of sophomores and one other junior (a friend of mine, luckily) but I think I'm going to hate it with a passion.

now for some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!:

me - exhausted and with wet hair on the first day of school before the bus came and got me

Hang in there, Mouse! You've got your whole life ahead of you. Wait 'til college where you can plan your allotment of absences strategically. It's like putting together a puzzle for the semester. I'm glad you have such great teachers.

From the work I have seen from you, I think you are a great artist. If you stop drawing, it will be difficult to pick it back up when you are older. I speak from experience. I was once an artist at your age, and stopped doing it from some stupid reason. Now I regret it, because the pencil feels foreign in my hand.

What would you take to replace Art if you drop it? Anything else catch your fancy?

As for you being exhausted, just take it a day at a time and get your rest as you see fit. Your body probably got used to you being able to lie down and catch a few z's during the summer. Hopefully, your stamina will come back up.

Take care, Mouse.

Logged

The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

If the art class doesn't improve before next week, it might be a good idea to drop and take lunch instead. It would be good for you to have that break in the day, not to mention the refueling!

Art is something you can keep doing on your own, as so much of it is mainly practice and experimentation anyway. You might even think about taking an adult evening class on drawing/painting - a community of your size probably offers this and if you can show that you're serious and just didn't have time for art in your school schedule, then you'd probably get in.

The bottom line you might want to weigh up is - which is more important, a class you don't particularly like or get anything out of, or your health (rest and food)? You can draw up a pro and con list. Put all the reasons to stay in art on one side of the paper, and all of the reasons to drop art on the other. See which side has more reasons.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

On the Art class, if it's drawing and such, you could pick up a few new techniques that you maybe didn't know about before. It would be a cool way to better your artistic ability even if you don't want to pursue artistry as a career. Just a thought.

Even before HIV, the school day was exhausting for me. I was taking almost all AP or Pre AP courses plus some Dual Credit courses, so my day was jam-packed with information. Oh, and the homework... was horrendous. I would literally stay up til 2-3am in the morning doing homework (having started it when I got home) some days, and then try to manage the next day on 3-4 hrs of sleep. I lived for Friday night when I knew I could sleep as long as I wanted to on Saturday.

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is the exhaustion is part of the package. It's really awesome that you have a support system already in place should you need the extra boost.

(and the planner really is gay, I'm just sayin...) LOL!

Logged

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

The "Recruiter" button is definitely a keeper 8D As much as you may hate some classes, remember that excellence demands a balanced curriculum. I know. I know. I never used to eat my brocolli when I was your age, but now, YUM. Even the darkest most dreaded experiences have something to teach us.

My high school was semestered so I only had to focus on 4 subjects at a time. I can't imagine taking 8 at once. That's a little overloaded for my noodle.

Any plans to study aborad when you graduate? You sound intelligent enough to pursue something like that and it's an amazing experience.