And then headed over to trick or treating at EWU again this year. It went well; I was glad we brought the stroller or Claire and Alice wouldn't have made it. They were happy to sit in the stroller and be adored from there.

Spent the evening with some good friends. So relaxing and fun! We love the Muellers!

I got everything organized and ready for the meeting thismorning. Ready to listen and ask some questions. It has been a good week thinking about Claire's behavior spike at school. Really, I feel like I have come a long way. Everything gets so mixed up with emotions as the parent. I can miss what is really going on because of my fears, determination, even hopes... Appropriate behavior has always been our #1 goal and that is why Claire is in Integrated Kindergarten but if she has so much anxiety in her placement at school that she has inappropriate and unsafe behavior (pushing, spitting, she even pulled hair Monday and I can't remember the last time she did that) to escape from school isn't that counterproductive? She has also always loved school and now, ever day, she doesn't want to go. That should be telling us something.

-What is Claire trying to tell us with this behavior? Those are a few of the things I've been thinking about. Oh, it's so emotional it hurts. Yikes, this can't be healthy. Off to the meeting I go.

-What are the rewards to help her get through the day and are they frequent enough?-Can she actually take in a circle time (that's when she has the most inappropriate behaviors) this long and intensive? -If not, is it worth sacrificing the learning she is missing for the peer interaction?-What skills are we working on to replace there behaviors and communicate her needs?-How can we help her like school again?It feels like there just isn't a great option for Claire. I'm not sold that this is the best option but I am scared to leave it and discover something less okay....

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Some days I feel like I’m apologizing to every person I see; "I'm so sorry my kid pushed your kid." I thought Claire should have a shirt, "if I push, you I like you." or "what I meant to say was hi." Claire used to push people to get their attention or ask to play because it's faster and easier than trying to talk. She still does that a little but unfortunately started a new pushing thing. When she is frustrated or overwhelmed, sometimes, she pushes, whoever happens to be in her way. It really stinks! I think part of it is trying to escape from situations that stress her out. She is not angry at the person she pushed. Sure would be nice to be a behaviorist about now, there is one coming to her IEP tomorrow. At school the pushing is a big problem. Claire is a very empathetic person and after she pushes someone she really does feel bad and will cry if she is scolded. One of the sad things is that she is always pushing her favorite people at school. I don't know why. Sometimes while we are waiting in line for Claire's teacher to come get her class in the morning the students will tell me "I don't like Claire because Claire pushed me." At first I wasn't sure what to say... it's not nice but they have a right to be upset that they are getting pushed. Now I talk to them about forgiving Claire when she says she is sorry because she is learning how to be a friend. They always come around and talk about the good things about Claire. She has such a big heart. If a person is upset she will try to comfort them. At young athletes this week one of her friends was upset and she patted his back "What happened Benjamin? It's okay Benjamin..."

It's okay alligator

It can be hard out in public. How do you explain to the other moms on the play ground that she really isn't trying to hurt anyone, she is reacting and your kid was standing there, so sorry? I don't explain, just apologies. I don't want people to think Claire is mean but I don't want her to be hearing us constantly excusing her inappropriate behavior. I don't want her disability an excuse.

We went to the children’s museum a few times while Claire was out of school with her knee injury. All four of us girls were seriously stir crazy being stuck at home with grumpy Claire and no Daddy to brake up our day (Nate has been gone a lot sense Claire got hurt, Air Force). Claire wasn't walking well and in a little bit of a mood at the museum but I brought the double stroller and I thought it was for the best. She was in a big, fat, ugly mood at home and she was a lot happier to be out distracting herself.

At the children's museum she kept pushing the same little kid and his mom was so nice but how many times is it okay when your two year old is being pushed by a six year old (fortunately the size of a three year old)? Claire spent the end of our trip in the stroller. Sorry...

Monday, October 29, 2012

This was posted on face book by Equine Therapeutic Learning Center where Claire horse back rides and I love it!!

In a few days, a lot of creatures will visit your door. Be open minded. The child that is grabbing more than one piece of candy may struggle with fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy might have sensory issues. The child who does not say "trick or treat" or "thank you" may be painfully shy, non-verbal or selectively mute. If you cannot understand their words

, they may struggle with developmental speech. The child who looks disappointed when they see your bowl may have a life threatening food allergy. The child who isn't wearing a costume at all may be autistic.

Be patient. Be kind. Smile. Pretend you understand their struggle. It's everyone's Halloween. Put your judgments aside and make every child that comes to your door feel special this year.
Happy Halloween, everyone!

And Pumpkin Carving

"yucky!"

Not bad for a girl with sensory issues!

She did so much better this year sticking her hand in and pulling the guts out, she is growing up.

This year Claire wanted a "happy face" with a "little nose", "happy eyes" and "two teeth."