Dear Strong Bad,
My girlfriend is really annoying because she calls
me when I'm trying to study. What should I do?

Crapfully yours,
Roy

STRONG BAD:{typing} Oh, well! I think I might have a little piece of advice for you, Roy. {yelling} Close the book and quit being such a dork-on!!!!!!! {clears screen}{no longer yelling} I mean, this girl obviously has the hots for you man. Why do you think she's calling you? I mean, you've got the potential here, {does not type the word "here"} to get 1st, 2nd, and quite possibly even 3rd base. So unless you're studying a book called {font changes to orange} "This Book is Better than 1st, 2nd, and Quite Possibly Even 3rd Base" {font changes back to green}, I suggest you hightail it over to your girlfriend's house ASAP, man! {clears screen} And also, send me a copy of that book. Because this sounds pretty good {types "It sounds..."}. You know what...scratch that. You keep studying Roy, I'm going over to your girlfriend's house.

{He runs away from the computer and a few seconds later he returns.}

STRONG BAD: Um, I forgot. I don't know her name or where she lives, but your girlfriend still loves me, Roy.

STRONG BAD:{offscreen}This Book is Better Than 1st, 2nd, and Quite Possibly Even 3rd Base, by Lem Sportsinterviews. Oh, and there's some reviews! "Better than 4th base even?!?" by Tempe Sam. Uhh, let's see what Tempe Sam says. {Strong Bad reads the review exactly as written.} "I'm read this book! Twize! It had more chapters than any book I've ever read! Which was my favorite? I dunno. I only read wan. But it got me where I needed to be. The restroom. When I'm done read this book I plan to ride my own. I call it 'Leftover Sam and the Leftover Sam Book.' Will you by it?!"