Why Masturbate When You Can Have A Fling?

Well girls don’t reach for the vibrator. Don’t extend that index finger towards your clitoris, reach for a low calorie chocolate treat. Should you slip and have an unladylike urge you can conquer that and enrich a company at the same time by unwrapping a fling bar. Gotta love it when capitalism and patriarchy join hands to control and demean women.

Just look at those long chocolaty fingers…to indulge in them you won’t even have to risk your girly figure. We’ll just forget that masturbation burns calories along with giving you the satisfaction of getting it just the way you want it, instead of having to tap someone on the shoulder and instruct them to move to the left. Yep, ladies when you feel primal, reach for a fling because your body is reserved for the pleasure of men.

Don’t you love the bright pink wrapper as well? This ensures that we all recognize that this is a “woman’s indulgence”. Men have no need to worry about their weight and can eat Mars, or Oh Henrys at will. Mars is a filling afternoon snack but our chocolate bar is “naughty.” We do after all have a lot of estrogen coursing through our bodies making us more susceptible to chocolate than men. It’s biological girls, we simply cannot control ourselves.

How long are companies going to continue with this sexist line of marketing? We have seen an onslaught of pink in everything from computers to classic board games. With the fact that men are experiencinga higher rate of unemployment than women, companies have realized that the best way to remain profitable is to market their products at women, however they have predictably fallen back on a patriarchal standard because they still cannot accept the concept that we are autonomous people that are not subject to our biology.

For as long as this current economic crises lasts we are in a unique position to demand that women be taken seriously and therefore as consumers we have a responsibility to let companies know that this kind of gendered marketing is not only demeaning but harmful. Their bottom line is profit and if we make them aware that our dollars will only go to women friendly firms, their approach will have to change. As individuals we may not have a lot of power, however as a group we are powerful. Enough with the project pink, I grew out of that nonsense when I was five.