The quotations below are from St Francis de Sales (1567-1622), in the book “Set
your heart free,” freely adapted into modern English by John Kirvan and
published 1997.

1.
Patience is not laziness.

True patience accepts, not
only the great and heavy trials that occasionally come our way, but also the
petty troubles and annoying accidents of everyday.

This means being patient not
only in the face of great sickness, but with minor annoyances, that God sends or
permits. It means being patient with where He wills us to be, patient with
those with whom He has surrounded us, patient with whatever circumstances He
permits.

Do not, however, confuse
patience with indifference, laziness, or lack of common sense.

When you are overtaken by
misfortune, seek whatever remedies God affords you. Not to do so would be
tempting His divine providence.

When, however, you have done
whatever you can do, used whatever God has put within your reach,
await the outcome with patient resignation.

If God sees fit to overcome
the evils, cure the illness, or whatever, thank Him humbly. But if, on the other
hand, He permits the evil to triumph, patiently bless His holy name and
surrender yourself to His will for you. (131-133)

2. Don’t
worry!

Stop worrying.

Whatever it is that you must
do to follow the path that God has shown you,
do to the best of your ability. And when you have done it move on to the
next thing.

Don’t keep rerunning it in
your mind trying to decide whether your efforts were too little or too much,
whether it was a great deed or a small one, whether you might have done better.

If it wasn’t sinful and you
were trying to do the will of God, it is enough.

Don’t worry. Move on.

Simply. Calmly. Peacefully.

Follow the path the Lord
shows you free of anxiety.Otherwise your anxiety will
undermine your efforts to grow.

If you do fail, don’t let
anxiety overcome you, but admit your failure, quietly, humbly, and in God’s
presence. Then get on with following the path that God will continue to show
you. (41-43)

3. God is
never the source of our anxiety.

There are three things
about living in peace that you should never forget.

Peace does not mean
living without pain.
You lose peace not when you are trouble free, but when you cease to be
dependent on God and fail in your duties.You must expect pain
and not be disturbed by it.

Our set ways of doing
things are not let go off easily. They give way to the “new person” in God
with great reluctance. Don’t be disturbed. You
have not lost favor with God.

God is never the source
of our anxiety.
Because anxiety is the enemy of peace, it cannot come from God. It is an
enemy of the spirit. Treat anxiety like the temptation it is. Fight it. Send
it on its way. Whatever
you must do, whether it is defending yourself against temptation or
welcoming joy, do it peacefully, without anxiety. You cannot keep your
peace by losing it. (203-205)

4. Let
God do his part.

Do not let anxiety sabotage
your search for God.
You know well that when you search for something too anxiously you can come upon
it a hundred times without ever seeing it.

It
pretends to stir up our soul, but all it does is dampen our spirit. It pushes us
until we stumble over our own feet.

We need to be on the watch
for this impostor that would have us believing that our spiritual life depends
completely on our efforts, so that the more panicked we are, the more anxiously
we search, the more likely we are to find God.

Let God do his part.

Be patient.

Not even our best efforts
can earn the blessings of God.

Our role is to be ready, to
receive God’s gifts with an open heart--—carefully, humbly, and serenely.
(35-37)

5. God is
content with the little we have.

The biggest mistake that
most of us make about God, the one that most consistently undermines our peace
of soul, is the idea that God demands a lot of us, more than a fragile being
like ourselves could ever give.

Such a God is frightening.But God in reality is
content with the little we can give, because God knows—--and accepts—--the
little that we have.

We need to do just three
things:

1.Do the best we
can to find and honor God in everything we do.

2.Do
whatever—--however little—--we can to live this way.

3.Let God do the
rest.

If we follow these simple
rules, we will possess God.And possessing God we will
not be disturbed, we will not be anxious, for we will have no need to fear a God
who never asks of us more than we can give.(77-79)

6. “Learn
from me!”

“Learn from me,” Jesus said,
“for I am meek and humble of heart.”

“Learn from me,” he was
saying, “to be patient and gentle with your neighbor, and humble before my
Father.”

“Learn from me,” he was
saying, “to be patient and gentle with everyone, but especially with yourself.”

Don’t be anxious to condemn
yourself every time you fall.

Instead, patiently, gently, pick yourself up and start all over again.

There is no better way to
grow toward perfection than to be willing—--and patient enough—--to start
over again and again.

To follow this simple advice
is to discover the secret of a truly devout life.

God will give you an inward
peace and all the patience you need, but you must sincerely ask Him for it. And
you must put it to work day by day.

Use every opportunity to
perform acts of patient gentleness, no matter how small they may seem at the
time, for our Lord has promised: “To the person who is faithful in little
things, greater ones will be given.” (107-109)

7. It is
in patience that we shall possess our souls.

It is through patience, as
the Lord himself reminds us, that we achieve great happiness, that we come to
possess our soul.

The more perfect our
patience is, the more perfect our happiness. We need, therefore, to remind
ourselves frequently that it was by patient suffering that our Lord saved us.

We can expect to work out
our salvation in the same way, enduring our injuries, contradictions, and
annoyances with His great calm and gentleness—--with His patience—--embracing
every sort of trial that He sends us or permits to overtake us.

Some people are willing, of
course, to suffer things that bring honor with them, (to be wounded in war or
taken prisoner, for example, or to be ill treated because of their religion).
But they can be more in love with the honor than patient with the suffering.

The truly patient servant of
God does not pick and choose, but bears in patience whatever comes her way, the
reproach of the good as well as the contempt of the wicked, the honourable and
the merely annoying.
(125-127)

8. Lift
up your heart--but gently!

Why are you surprised when
the weak turn out to be weak, and the frail, frail? When you turn out to be
sinful?

When you fall be gentle with
your frail, weak heart. Lift up your heart gently; accept your failure without
wallowing in your weakness.

Admit your guilt in God’s
sight. Then with good heart, with courage and confidence in His mercy, start
over again.

It is tempting to condemn
yourself with harsh words and even harsher feelings. But it does no good to lash
out at yourself.

Speak to your heart in
understanding words: “Rise up my heart there’s still another time. Put your
trust in God’s mercy, so that you will stand stronger in the future. Do not be
discouraged, God will help and guide you.”

Pray with the Psalmist: “Why
are you sad my soul, and why do you disquiet me? Hope in God: for I will still
give praise to Him; the salvation of my countenance, and my God.” (185-187)

9.
Patience---day in, day out.

Many of us make the mistake
of building our spiritual lives around major crises and great opportunities. We
leave ourselves totally unprepared to deal with and take advantage of the little
ones that are presented to us day in and day out.

It would actually be better
to concentrate less on the great but rare events and to be ready for and open to
the constant little ones that are the stuff of everyday living.

We are all obliged to strive
for perfection, as both Christ and St. Paul tell us. But we need to remember
that perfection consists of doing the will of God, of using that will as the
standard for all our decisions, great and small.

We are to flee what God
wants us to avoid and bring about what He wants us to achieve in His name.
And we are to do this not only in large matters and serious trials, but even in
minor upsets and little opportunities.

It is one thing, and rather
dramatic, to prepare for a happy death, but it is just as important to be
ready, with undramatic patience, to face each new day and its trivial trials.(59-61)

10.
Perfection may have to wait.

Don’t think that you can
overcome in a day the bad habits of a lifetime, or enjoy perfect spiritual
health after years of inattention.

Be patient.

As long as we live we will
bear the burden of ourselves, the limitations of our humanity.Perfection will have
to wait for another life, another world.

Of course, God has cured
some people instantly, leaving no trace of their former failures.

Think of Mary Magdalene.

In an
instant Jesus brought her from a life of sin to a life of holiness. But that
same God left many of his most loyal disciples weakened by their past.

Think of Peter who fell
often.On one occasion he went so
far as to deny the Lord.

God will do what is best for
us. Most likely He will lead us little by little, one small step at a time. So
we need to be patient with everyone, with everything, but especially with
ourselves and with God.
(71-73)

11. Anger
is no remedy for anger.

When it comes to being
gentle, start with yourself. Don’t get upset with your imperfections.

Being disappointed by
failure is understandable, but it shouldn’t turn into bitterness or spite
directed at yourself.

It’s
a great mistake—--because it leads nowhere—--to get angry because you are angry,
upset at being upset, disappointed because you are disappointed.

So don’t fool yourself. You
cannot correct a mistake by repeating it. It’s just a seed-bed for renewed
anger. And don’t fool yourself into thinking that self-recrimination is a
sign of virtue. It is a sign of self-love.

We are on a journey to a
more blessed life. Let us not, along the way, be angry with one another. Instead
let us go forward with our fellow travelers, our brothers and sisters, gently,
in peace and in love. And whatever happens along the way, however great the
provocation, do not let anger into your heart.

Take with you the advice of
Joseph when he bid his brothers good-bye: “be not angry along the way.”

Don’t let anger get the
smallest foothold in your heart.

Exclude
absolutely, as Augustine advises, even its slightest presence, however justified
and reasonable it may seem. For once it gets into your heart it is hard to
uproot.

A mote rapidly becomes a
beam. It will stay with you and if you ignore the apostle Paul’s advice, and let
the sun go down on your anger,it will harden into hatred.

Constantly fed by imaginings
and delusions, it will become all but impossible to set yourself free of it.
It is best to avoid all anger rather than try to come to terms with it; for if
we give anger an inch it will surely take a mile.(161-163)

13. Have
mercy on me, 0 Lord.

Whenever your spirit is
troubled, take some advice from St. Augustine: “Make haste, like David, to cry
out: ‘Have mercy on me, 0 Lord,’ that He may stretch forth His hand to moderate
your anger or whatever it is that troubles you.”

Imitate the apostles who
when they found themselves caught in a raging storm, called upon God to help
them. He will still your anger as he stilled the seas and replace it with His
peace.

Remember, however, to pray
calmly and gently.

As soon as you are aware of
having given into anger or whatever, repair your mistake immediately with an act
of kindness to the person you have hurt.

If you tell a lie, the best
thing is to recall it as soon as you can.

The best cure for anger is
an immediate act of gentleness.

New
wounds are the easiest to heal. (167-169)

14. Be
not troubled about many things.

An old proverb bids us “make
haste slowly.” Likewise King Solomon reminds us that “hurried feet stumble.” And
those who worry themselves sick over every detail of their lives do little,
and what little they do they do badly.

The noisiest bees produce no
honey.

We need to nourish our
spirit diligently and carefully, but this is very different from anxiety and
debilitating worry.

Care and solicitude don’t
undermine tranquillity and peace of mind, but anxiety and spiritual nitpicking,
to say nothing of upset and frenzy, most certainly do.

Be conscientious in all you
are called upon to do, but do not let hurry, upset, anxiety, and nervousness get
in the way of common sense and good judgment, and prevent you from doing well
what God calls you to do.

Our Lord rebuked Martha by
calling her back to the one thing necessary. “Martha, Martha, you are careful
and troubled about many things.”

We may need to hear the same
rebuke.(29-31)

15. Trust
God and rest secure.

If you hope to succeed in
whatever you do, place your trust totally in God’s providence. Cooperate with
him, then rest secure that whatever happens, will be best for you.

Think of a little child
walking with her father.One hand clings tightly to
his, but with the other she gathers fruit from trees along the way.

Imitate the child. With one
hand go ahead and gather what you need of the world’s good things, but with the
other hold on to your heavenly Father, checking regularly whether or not He
approves of what you are doing with your life.

Above all, beware of letting
go of your Father to free up both your hands to gather more of the world’s
goods.You will find that by
yourself you will stumble and fall.

And when your gathering does
not require all your attention, turn your mind to God as often as you can. Like
a sailor returning to port, look to the sky and not just to the waves that carry
you. (47-49)

16. Be
who you are.

Don’t waste your time
dreaming of being someone else.

Don’t try to be someone
else.

Work and pray at being
yourself.

Be who you are, where you
are.

Concentrate on the little
everyday problems and pains that beset you.

Reserve your best efforts;
expend your spiritual energy on what is right before you.

This is what God asks of
you.

This is all he asks of you:
that you live and respond to his grace in the here and now. To do anything else
is to waste your time.

Listen closely. This is very
important and very misunderstood,for we all prefer to do what
is to our personal liking. Very few of us choose duty first, or the will of God.

Don’t cultivate someone
else’s garden. Grow where you are planted.(53-55)

17. Just
do what God is asking of you.

The way to honor God whose
handiwork we are, is to be who we are, as perfectly as we can. It is enough
to be what God wants us to be, rather than some perfect creature that God never
had in mind.

Suppose you were the most
perfect being you could possibly imagine.

So what?

If you were not the person
God had in mind at the moment of your creation, what good would it do you?

It is also enough to do
whatever it is that you can do being who you are, and where you are.

Just do wholeheartedly what
you know God is asking of you.

Don’t
bother yourself about whether or not what God asks of you is important and
grand. Whether your actions are insignificant or not does not matter, if they
are God’s will.

How could you be
disappointed at even the smallest opportunity if you know that it is God’s
will—--born of his providential concern for you, and chosen for you in his
eternal wisdom?(65-67)

18. Trust
who you are, not what “they” think you are.

A good name is like a sign
pointing to a virtuous life, and though it is a good sign it is still just a
sign. To be overly sensitive about it is to become like a hypochondriac who
busies himself taking medicine for every passing symptom.He intends to
preserve his health but ends up ruining it.

If you try to stay in
everyone’s good graces you can end up in good stead with no one. After all, who wants to be
around people whose touchiness makes them unbearable?

But what underlies such
spiritual hypochondria is what matters most.

Fear for your good name can
mean that you are not putting your trust in its only true foundation—--the solid
stone of real virtue.If someone, for example
because of your spiritual efforts, calls you a hypocrite or because you are
quick to forgive an injury calls you a coward, ignore him. His judgments matter
not at all. He may damage your name but his foolish chatter, his shallow
judgments, cannot destroy what is true.(155-157)

19. What
do I have that I have not received?

The more we recall and
appreciate the mercies of God—--especially those private, secret mercies that no
one else is aware of—--the more we shall love Him.

But it is a humbling
experience.

Face to face with the
compassion of God we see the abundance of His mercies.But in the same
moment we are faced with His justice and must acknowledge the abundance of our
misdeeds.

Let us reflect, therefore,
upon all He has done for us, and acknowledge his mercies even as we number our
sins.

It will not be an occasion
for pride. Even a mule laden with precious jewels is still a mule.

Paul says, “What do you have
that you have not received?

And
since you have received it why do you actas though you have not
received it?” Should we be tempted to take credit for what virtues we have,
we need only remember our ingratitude, our imperfections, our weakness.

What have you managed to do
without God?

It is all right to rejoice
in our deeds, and rejoice in having done them, just so long as we give all the
ensuing glory to God, who is their author.(83-85)

20. Walk
humbly in the truth.

Humility is as humility
does!

Sometimes we confess that we
are nothing, that we are weakness itself, the very dust of the earth. But we get
very upset if someone takes us at our word.

We conspicuously retreat
into solitude and hide ourselves, but with the hope that the world will
“discover” us.

True humility does not go
about looking and sounding humble. For the humble person prefers to hide her
virtues, and conceal her true self, to live unknown, in a concealed life.

My advice then is that you
should go easy with your expressions of humility, making sure that your deep
inward feelings agree with whatever you say outwardly.

We take the lowest place,
cherishing the hope that we will be asked to go up higher.

Never cast down your eyes
without humbling your heart, and do not pretend that you wish to be among the
least unless you truly desire it in your heart.

Really
humble people prefer to let others say they are contemptible and worth nothing,
than to say it about themselves. (89-91)

21. What
really matters?

Do you remember how, when
you were a small child, you would take an abandoned carton or a fistful of sand
and turn it into a castle? Inevitably, it seemed, someone would knock it over.
Your heart would be broken.But now we understand that
those things that were so earthshaking when we were children were in the end not
all that important. Our world did not end when our castle fell.

Yet here we are, still
frantic and anxious about the frail castles of our adult years. They too will
fall and it will not matter that much in the light of eternity. But it takes a
while to gain this perspective.

We can spend our days
running in circles,obsessed by a thousand
things, convinced that each one of them is all important to our happiness. Or we
can stop for a moment and think of eternity. Then we see how very unimportant
the thousand concerns that clutter our minds and preoccupy our souls truly are.

How little they matter!
(101-103)

22. Speak
when you are spoken to.

When you are in love, lovers
say, the whole world speaks of the one you love. It is hard to think of anything
else. Your heart overflows. When you speak, it is hard not to speak of him. And
when you are silent you daydream of her. Her absence is intolerable.

So too, those who love
God are never weary of thinking of Him, living for Him, yearning for Him, and
talking of Him. To them, the whole world speaks in a silent language of
love, exciting them to thoughts of the one they love—--exciting us, if we listento thoughts of the
one we love—--firing an insatiable yearning to be in His presence.

Speak, then, when you are
spoken to. Do not be embarrassed to acknowledge that everywhere and always you
hear the voice of the one you love.
Go where your heart takes you. (113-115)

23.
Perfection is in acting on our Father’s inspirations.

With persistent caring our
heavenly Father is forever planting in our hearts gentle inspirations that He
hopes will awaken and kindle in us a desire for His heavenly love.

Receive them gratefully,
reverently, and without hesitation.

Listen to them meekly.

Cultivate the love you feel.

Finding joy in these
inspirations may not seem like much, but it is a great step. For even though
such delight falls far short of complete commitment to His love, it still
demonstrates that we are moving, however slowly, however cautiously, in the
right direction.

Do not forget, however, that
perfection lies in acting on these inspirations, for if, after welcoming them
gladly, we fail to act on them, we greatly offend God and trivialize His
goodness.

Do not stop, therefore, with
His inspirations, but follow through on them fully, lovingly, and ceaselessly.
For then our Father who is under no obligation to us, may hold Himself obliged
by our love.

A consent that remains
nestled in the heart and produces no outward results is like a vine that bears
no fruit.(119-121)

24. Seek
the pearl, not the shell.

The person who dives for
pearls is never satisfied to come up with shells. Neither should those who aim
at virtue be satisfied with honors and reputation.

The more virtue parades
itself, the more it desires to be seen and acclaimed, the less likely it is to
be real and true.True virtue and personal
attractiveness are not rooted and supported in pride, self-sufficiency, and
vanity. These produce a life lived strictly for show. It blooms brilliantly and
quickly withers away.

Having the appearance of
virtue may be fine for those who do not seek it, who accept it indifferently,
and who do not mistake the shell for the pearl. But it can become very dangerous
and hurtful to those who cling to it, and take delight in it.

A
really great soul will not waste itself on such empty goods as rank, honor, and
form. It has higher aspirations. (137-139)

25. Do
what you can, God will do the rest.

For if someone is truly
wise, truly learned, truly generous and noble, their gifts will flower in true
humility and modesty.

We
do what we can to find the peace of Christ, and He does the rest. But this does
not mean that there is no price to be paid.

Almost
certainly we will need to leave behind much that we have clung to---the familiarity
and comfort of being self-sufficient, our reassuring self-confidence, our
abounding self-love. It will be painful.

As the scriptures say, to
separate us from our self-love He will bring “not peace but the sword.” His
sword will leave our hearts raw. We will resist with our whole being the
wrenching that precedes peace.

It’s true however, that in
the end, if we remain committed to finding the will of God, and do our own small
bit, faithfully and courageously, He will do the rest.

His promised peace will
come. “Let not my will, but yours be done.”

Our peace will be found in
the midst of warfare, our serenity will be bought at the price of surrender.(143-145)

26. Who
is poor and I am not poor?

Because we become what we
love, we will ourselves become truly poor only by loving poverty and the
poor.

“Who is weak and I am not
weak?” says St. Paul. He might have continued: “Who is poor and I am not poor?”

Love makes us like those we
love.If then we truly love
the poor, truly enter into their poverty, we will be poor with them.

We
cannot love the poor by keeping at a distance, but only by being with them, by
visiting them, by talking freely, openly with them, by being with them in the
church, on the street, wherever poverty leads, wherever need is present.

Speak with everyone out of
your own poverty,but let your hands be rich,
sharing freely of what you have.

Blessed are they who are
thus poor, for theirs truly is the kingdom of heaven. To them the King of Kings
who is King of the Poor will say on the day of judgment: “I was hungry and you
gave me to eat, I was naked, and you covered me. Come possess the kingdom
prepared for you from the beginning of the world.”(149-151)

27. Where
is my faith?

It doesn’t take much to
remind us of our fragility. At any moment, however lofty our prayers, however
convinced we are of our spiritual strength, we can find ourselves with little or
no notice, plunged into chilling reality, humbly pleading for God to save us.

Think of Peter. There he
was, so sure of his faith, that he stepped from the boat to walk on water. But
when the wind came up unexpectedly and the waves became threatening, he was
quick to cry out: “Lord, save me!”

The response of Jesus was
just as swift. He reached out and took Peter by the hand, but then He chided
him: “Where is your faith? Why do you doubt?”

Is it any different with us?
Doesn’t it often take the winds of temptation, our overconfident steps to bring
us to call upon God? We lose our footing and God takes us by the hand. “Where is
your faith?” he asks. “Why do you doubt?”

Where indeed?

Why indeed?(173-175)

28. We
need only be there.

God welcomes us into his
presence always and everywhere. We need not wait until our heart is overflowing
with words, or our soul burdened with needs, before we present ourselves. It is
enough to be there.
It is all right to be speechless. After all,the primary reason for
entering God’s presence is simply to acknowledge Him and to offer Him the honor
that is His due. We don’t need words for this. We need only to be there, to
let our presence speak what is deepest in our soul.

He is our God, we are His
creatures. Our soul bows down before Him in honor and praise awaiting His will
for us.

Think of how politicians and
others go into the presence of their leaders over and over again, not to speak
to them or to hear them speak but just to be seen!

But we are not mere
time-servers, fawning followers. We are seekers after God, and we come before
Him to demonstrate our love and fidelity, our wordless joy merely at being in
His presence. (191-193)

29. Speak
to Him. Listen to Him.

Sometimes, of course, when
we enter into God’s presence we will not find ourselves speechless.

We will be ready to speak to
Him and to hear what He has to say to us.

Usually He will respond in
quiet inspirations,and in the silent movement
of our heart.

His voice will fill our soul
with consolation and courage.

So if
you are able to speak to the Lord, do it with words of prayer.

Praise Him.

Listen to Him.

But if, no matter how full
your heart is with things you wish to say to God, your voice still fails you,
stay right where you arein His presence. He will
see you there, and bless your silence.

And
perhaps He will reach down and take you by the hand, walking with you, chatting
with you, leading you gently through the garden of His love.

Whatever happens, it is a
great grace.(197-199)

30. Set
my heart free.

A heart that is free is the
close companion of a peaceful soul.

A free heart is one that is
not attached to its own way of doing things, that does not become impatient when
things don’t go its way.

A
free heart will surely enjoy spiritual consolations, but is not dependent on
them and will, to the best of its ability, accept troubles in their stead.

A free heart is not so tied
to a schedule or a way of praying that any change is upsetting and a source of
anxiety.

A free heart is not attached
to what is beyond its control.

A free heart prays to God
that His name be hallowed, that His kingdom come, that His will be done, on
earth as it is in heaven.

For if
the name of God is hallowed, if His kingdom is in us, if His will is being done,
a free spirit need not concern itself with anything else. (95-97)