Cancel My ESPN!: European Chess Tourny Bans Cleavage

Seen here probably not contemplating what fast food joint she's gonna hit for lunch like I am, Belarusian chess master Anna Sharevich shows a little, how should I say it -- décolletés during amatch. "Just say boobage like a normal person." TAY-TAAAAAAYS! Also included in the new European Chess Union dress code: no B.O. (that's not dress-related!), flip-flops, or skirts shorter than 10cm above the knee. Jesus -- they might as well ban playing with rooks and knights too!

Sava Stoisavljevic, the female European Chess Union General Secretary, told Chessbase News that the change in dress code was due to female players' appearance causing a ruckus in the peanut gallery.

"I heard many comments from spectators and coaches," Stoisavljevic said.

The rules, which apply to both men and women, demand that players wear clean clothing that does not show excessive wear or holes.

"This category of appearance demands a pulled-together, harmonious, complete look with colors, fabrics, shoes and accessories, for both men and women," according to the rules.

Listen, I actually went to a chess tournament once to root a friend on, and I've got to admit-- "the virginity in the room was palpable?" WHAT -- NO! I was gonna say there was no concession stand.