College Grad: Finding Success On My Terms

relif / Getty Images/iStockphoto

relif / Getty Images/iStockphoto

JESSIE LUBKA

I recently saw a picture at work that said, "don't let someone else's definition of success determine your own." Such a simple statement, one that I'm sure I've heard many times before, but for some reason this time it stood out to me. In my eyes success and happiness won't always sit at the same table, but they should at least live under the same roof.

Being successful and unhappy is like having an Uh Oh Oreo. Yes, you have an Oreo (technically), but it's not the delicious, satisfying kind everyone is after. If you have an incredible income, but are utterly unsatisfied at work, what is the point? In my eyes success isn't measured by the number of people working under you or whether you have a corner office; it's based on how the work you do makes you feel.

For as long as I can remember I've compared myself to those around me. I've attributed other people's successes to flaws in the system. Either they had a job handed to them or their parents pay for their rent in the city where they work. To me, that is not an accomplishment. Starting a career should be about earning something you've worked for, making connections yourself,and using your money to pay for rent; not your parents. But the truth is, I've just been reaching for the wrong type of success. I was conditioned by culture to think there was only one type of success, one that stems from financial stability. Being successful is directly related to the amount of money you make. For me, that just is not the case.

Right now, I am working part time at a Big Sky Fitness. I graduated from the University of Connecticut in May with a bachelor's degree in communications. I had an internship at Comcast, I have several writing samples, and I want to be a copywriter. Alas, I am working part time at a gym. The average person would see my current situation as a failure. I have failed to accomplish my goals; so, I am unsuccessful. This would all be according to someone else's definition of the word success.

In my eyes, success is measured by my ability to find fulfillment as well as enjoyment while at work. I may not be successful in your eyes, but I do not seek anyone else's judgment. I had envisioned myself as a junior level copywriter by now, although far from my goal, it does not make me unsuccessful.

Working at the gym has shown me that it is OK to end up on a different path than originally intended. All the gym members I meet provides me with new career advice, whether they are small business owners, insurance company vice presidents or educators, each one gives me their unapologetically honest opinion on how to accomplish my goals.

The advice I receive is both helpful and repetitive. Most peole tell me to keep trying and say, "Something will come your way." Others offer concrete leads about open positions in their line of work. I've applied to a marketing job brought to my attention by one of the members, and started a sports marketing internship with the help of another. Each person I talk to, whether I've known them 10 years or 10 minutes, wants to help me be more successful.

A part-time job is often just that, a job. My part-time job, however, is incomparable to any other job I've held. It's more engaging than slicing bagels, I make more useful connections than I did at a big-name company and I somehow enjoy waking up at 4 a.m. to open the gym. In terms of fulfillment, my levels are off the charts.

Success should never be something that somebody else determines for you. It's like picking out the perfect pair of shoes; no one can tell you what size or style to wear, it has to be up to you in order for it to be the perfect fit. While working at the gym was not what I intended after graduation, this job fits me perfectly!

Jessie Lubka, 22, lives in Simsbury.

The Courant invites writers younger than 30 to write essays of 650 words or less containing strong views. Please email your submission to freshtalk@courant.com, with your full name, hometown, daytime phone number, age and occupation (or your school's name and your level in school).