I got my degree, I got a job…now what?

Sharing Assets, Sharing Debts April 28, 2008

My boyfriend and I were joking about getting married the other day, and he joked that he’d want a prenup, as I’m bringing more debt to the playing field than he is. That got me to thinking…would I want to share my debts and assets? I don’t know if it’s just me, but I kind of want to be responsible for my debts, and keep my money to myself. I don’t want whoever my future husband is to have to shoulder my student loan debts. But I guess, I also sort of selfishly want to keep my money to myself, too. I read in plenty of personal finance blogs about how couples share everything, moneywise. I think I wouldn’t mind having a joint bank account with my guy, where shared costs like housing, utilities, food, dining out, etc. would get paid from, and we’d put a certain amount in that account every month to cover those expenses. I know my parents share their money, and I admire that in them. Maybe this just proves that I’m not ready to get married any time soon. Don’t worry, I’m not expecting it (in case he’s reading this…we’ve only been together a year)!

So, you single folk, dating folk, married folk…when it comes to money, what situation do you prefer, or assume you’ll do when you get into a long term relationship?

haha. I ‘m sure he does read it ;-). Tell him I said hello. And yeah, I feel the same way right now–I can’t imagine having joint bank accounts (course, I’m not dating anyone…). I just really want to be completely independant and self sufficient for a while (which, I’m not–my parents still pay car insurance and the cell phone bill, but I bet I could be. They really just can’t stand to think there’s nothing I need from them 😉 ) . . . but I figure, when I’m ready to get married, I’ll be ready for that stuff, too.

Here’s a question for you–since you’re so into finance and stuff ;-). At what point is it no longer worth it to be a ‘dependant.’ It would save me money to become independent, but would it save me more than it saves my parents right now? It probably depends on the state I’m living in, eh? If it wasn’t for the awesome insurance plan my dad has for his dependents (as long as they’re in school until they’re 25), I might be independent.

Hey Kendall,
From what I’ve experienced, it seems that it has a bigger impact on me than it does on them, percentage-wise. My parents don’t really benefit from having me as a dependent compared to what I get for filing my taxes on my own. That’s at least what it seems like to me. Then again, the first time I did my own taxes was the first time I was “independent”, and actually had made more than $1000 or so (from work study and summer internships). So I learned about all sorts of rebates and refunds I was eligible for, and perhaps they earned them when they included my information, but maybe they were in too high a bracket (what with being married grownups and all). Anyway, I’d say talk to your parents, see what sort of benefits they get for having you as a dependent…see if you could benefit more. I mean, they probably get $300 extra in that tax rebate plan happening right now!

I think money = freedom and it is important to have freedom in a relationship, so I wouldn’t combine all my bank accounts. My parents don’t and they still have a very strong marriage. My mom puts it this way, live like you are planning on getting divorced and hopefully you won’t have too. They have a joint account for house expenses and that’s it. I think it is important in any relationship (even in the beginning) to make sure you are financially compatable. My boyfriend and I both have budgets and talk about them when we need too. That way we are both focused on saving money and we don’t mind staying in if it means we can do something more fun the following weekend. Anyway, just my opinion.=)