Accepting My Culture

I admit, when I first moved to Mexico City, I loved living outside my culture. I loved being surrounded by different people, different ways of thinking, a different language … but most of all, I loved being away from my own culture. I definitely went through a rejection period. When I returned to the US for visits I would proudly walk through the airport thinking I was way better that everyone in the US because I had left the US. I had rejected all things big and materialistic and orderly and sterile. I had rejected English & what I considered at the time to be highly annoying cultural characteristics – like sticking to a schedule. I felt good about it. I was naive.

Now, a few years and many miles of travels later, I have matured a bit, evolved my thinking a bit, and come back around to evaluate my own culture with fresh eyes. I dont think I´m better than people who still live in the US. I dont think my culture is annoying. I am not embarrassed to say I´m from the US. (which might have a little to do with the change in DC … ) Instead, I feel proud of many things American. I feel proud to come from an extremely diverse culture. I feel proud to come from a country full of creativity and inspiration. I feel proud to be a curious, open-minded, friendly person representing the good things (hopefully!) of the US. I listen to all kinds of music – from rap & R&B to jazz and country, I watch movies – from indie films & spots on you-tube to hollywood hits, I love my Mac electronics, I read and laugh and taste and feel, and I am happy to come from a country that fosters invention, innovation and supports the arts. And I am grateful that I was raised to treat everyone equally, no matter what their social status, their skin color, their gender or sexual preference. Because in many parts of the world, people aren´t so open & accepting.

Of course, there are still things about the US that I dont like. For instance, I think people tend to get trapped into thinking there is only one way to live life, which often involves debt, long-term planning, and aversion to risk/adventure. I also think too many Americans are obsessed with happiness (and their general mental/emotional health). And while the US is the birthplace to so much creativity, technology & art, there is an overly proud, “better than you” attitude that often gets exported along with the music, movies and brands.

So, while I no longer feel embarrassed or reject my country and culture of origin, I also realize it is up to me to decide which cultural traits I will portray … and which I will reject. (Though I am sure many Anthropologists would argue that we cannot choose our cultural traits. I think as adults we can decide who we want to be.) I feel like I have a more clear sighted view of my own culture – for better or for worse. I now realize that one´s outlook on life is not a result of where they choose to live, but rather of who a person is inside, what their values are, what their dreams are, how they like to spend their day. I no longer feel like I am escaping anything by living abroad. But there are things about living abroad that make me want to stay. Maybe it´s easier for me to be more open to life when I am forced to, everyday. Maybe I´m just lazy, and Mexico kicks my butt just enough to make life a little more challenging and interesting. Lord knows it is NOT because I like to be asked everyday where I am from and how long I have been here! At least now I can say “Estados Unidos” with confidence.

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25 Responses to “Accepting My Culture”

I really really like this a lot.
You should keep writing, I would definitely read it I think.
The second picture has a good message, well they both do. It’s really cool how one trip changed you and your views on things.
🙂

hi, i really like this post. Yet, i think if who you are inside is greatly different from the culture of the place where you live, it could be hard to really be yourself. either, you feel you’re not understood or you are inclined to go with the norm…
anyway, pls keep writing and look forward to your next post.

I like your observations! I find that the “better than you” attitude carries over into so many areas including religion. Talked to a person from a local church who was excited about a mission to central America. I said “wait I thought they were already Christian” to which they repled “but not the right one!”

Hello, I accept your inflection, I had lived outside my country and feel what it’s like stay in another country, that is not yours, the country where you were born, you suffer because miss your family, customs, lifestyle, how people think, their dress, food, how they eat, their how to socialize among themselves, which is not the same as yours. One must mature to accept unacceptable behavior. You try and start adjust to your new lifestyle and wondering that yours is bad so good at this kind of explanations are not valid, if you’re not happy, the idea is that where you are must accept and be happy or find a way to find a happiness that is what takes you further accept another country that is not yours. , Hasta la vista

Hi, I’m sorry I’m the first person not to agree with you. I’m not sure you can say that all you talk about as being completely american really is.Or if it is it’s not typically american. And to me being proud of a country is a bit weird since you’re certainly part of it but that’s it you can’t be proud of something you did’t make ? Or can you ? I know I can’t. Travelling is for me about getting to know and like other culture, not about coming back and thinking “oh great home is way better than i thought”. I sincerly appologies if I got you wrong or if you feel insulted by what I said, I don’t like hater comments so I want you to now that this is not one. It’s just my opinion, sometimes it can help 🙂

Hi there! No worries. I have received much harsher comments! That´s the beauty of Blogs – an open forum for discussion. I understand your point.
First clarification – this blog entry is just my personal Point of View on what it means to be “American” – obviously everyone can (and probably does) have a different perspective on this very complex subject!
And about pride: It´s not that I am proud of the US as a country, it´s that I finally feel proud of where I am from, of my background, which happens to be the US. (where before I felt a bit embarrassed about it) Maybe pride isnt the best word, maybe confidence or satisfaction or respect.
I completely agree that traveling is about getting to know new and different cultures, but I also think that we learn a lot about our own culture, especially when living abroad. And I believe this is a valid learning as well. If we understand more about ourselves, our own culture, we can better understand new & different cultures when we travel abroad. Even though I live in Mexico, and consider Mexico City my “home,” I will always be from the US and cannot ignore the cultural influence from the country where I grew up.
Thanks for your comment!
And thanks to all the other commenters! It´s so nice to get feedback. – Amanda

Hi Amanda, thanks for your clarifications. I understand what you mean and to be honest I quite agree with you now! I hope you enjoy your time spent away from “home” and tell us more about it! I’m obsiously not the only one interested in hearing your storie 🙂

I know this stuff like the back of my hand, I’ve lived in and out of the States for the last 15 years, i.e. most of my adult life. International politics definitely helps, rather it helps if people aren’t already at your throat for being from the U.S.

But then, when I do go back Stateside to live, I’m not “American” (as my friends joke, “yeah, she’s an American, but not a ‘good’ one”). So I go through life, always having one foot in and one foot out, but never ever quite entirely from somewhere. It’s la fronterra, but on a global scale…

Interesting post. I grew up in the US but haven’t lived there for ten years now and the best lesson I’ve learned is (forgive me if I sound trite) where ever you go, there you are. Part of the joy of travel is experiences the differences (and suprising similarities) in cultures but one thing is for sure, the only way to get along is to stop thinking of my culture and their culture and to start relating to individuals.

I loved this post! Funny how you mention the “rejection period.” I think I went through the same thing — and maybe continue to go through the same thing? — when I go home to the U.S. Kind of ashamed to admit it, but I have looked around the airport and thought, “Wow, I lead so much more of an enriching life because I’m an expat, and pity these poor people who aren’t.” I think I really wish that living outside the U.S., or knowing another language, was more valued in our culture, like it is in Europe.

Really Good read. I hope to experience other cultures and travel soon. I think traveling and opening up to other experiences such as this are great ways to open ones mind. The world is such a rich and intriguing place, although I feel America is losing its flare.

Very well done! We all are responsible for our development. As a French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said: ‘humanity is condemned to be free’. It means, unfortunately, it’s not pre-decided anywhere how to live and what to do for us, humans. And it’s our own responsibility and a free choice what to be and how to be …

The only point I don’t fully agree with you is that there’s no discrimination in the US based on gender or race. It’s still there, which is very sad … However, good news are that segregation has been abolished only 50 years ago which is quite recently and a nation should just get used to the idea. And yes, the main discrimination is income-based one, which is promoted on the world-large scale.
🙂

A wonderful post. You capture a feeling many of us feel, and it IS applicable across different countries and culture. Like you, I agree that as adults we can choose who we want to be,and what cultural traits we want to portray.

I really enjoyed reading this post, and have actually felt the same on the country pride part. I am actually loving abroad right now (Taiwan!) and though I know I should not feel embarrased that I’m from the states, it is just not as ‘cool’ as other places. I love that you put something like this into words and keep writing so I can keep reading! 😀

I really connected with your words because I have been on essentially the same journey, first rejecting my Anglo-American identity, and now trying to accept some of it.

My husband is Latino and we have been married for more than 10 years. His mother also lives with us and because of the cultural differences, this experience has forced me to look at myself and who I am, and maybe even feel a little proud of my very American love for peanut butter sandwiches and walking barefoot in the house, (sin chanclas!)

I will always love my adopted culture, but it will be nice to also accept my native one.

what did you mean by obsessed with happiness? i recently read an article about how our obsession with positivity is undermining us… is that what you mean? the way you said that made me extremely curious!