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Tuesday, August 06, 2013

In praise of Bugles

I have long maintained that I don't believe in "guilty pleasures": things that I like and yet I know they're bad. But there are things that come really close to "guilty pleasure" status for me, and Bugles are one of them. They're...well, they're not "good". For corn-flavored snacks, tortilla chips are so much better. More versatile. More authentic. And even Fritos are better.

But there's something nifty about Bugles that defies description. Obviously it ain't flavor, because they really don't have much. They counteract the lack of flavor by amping up the salt. And they're not uniquely crunchy, either. What I think they do, though, is have a specific way of crunching that's all their own. That shape makes them crunch very easily, almost softly, at the wide end, the "bell", as it were. But the inner end, the closed end? Ahhhh, there's a totally different crunch there. Harder. More percussive as your teeth break through it and crush it.

So there it is: Bugles combine different textures into a single snack just by being shaped the way they are. And that's why, once or twice a year, I'll consume an entire bag. By myself. And not feel the slightest bit of guilt in doing so.

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