Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh would like to thank everyone who
read his first Psychedelic Mind Melt Magazine. According to the
person in charge of Mooj.com thousands of issues were downloaded and, needless-to-say,
the email is now coming back in abundance. Sadly, most of the correspondence
is about Sri Swami
Mujaputtia Umbababbaraba and NOT Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh. It seems that
people were very fond of Sri Swami Mujaputtia Umbababbaraba (who is now a vaulted
Saint) and wanted to learn more about his life and death. I should remind
readers that Psychedelic Mind Melt is about Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh; not his uncle. Those wishing to learn more about The Swami should download his
free book.

Below I will only post letters that were about Mr. Singh:

Dear
Psychedelic Mind Melt!

Your magazine
is totally awesome! I'm a huge fan of MHVSEE music and buy all your
albums. I'm not really old enough to go to concerts yet. I am only
seven. I live in Dubai. My father is a billionaire who owns an
island making company. He lets me buy anything I want.
So that's how I get all your CDs. When I grow up I want to be just
like Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh! I have to go now. It's time for
my milk bath.

"Lil' Kanoop"
Dubai, UAE

Thank
you for your letter, little friend! I have asked my
secretary to send you a MHVSEE ball-cap! Wear it with pride!

-ed

Sirs,

I love your magazine. I am a big fan of many of the bands on your label. I read
with alarm that Mogender Singh might dump The KKK. They are a great
band. I've been a fan of theirs for years. I think one of the
problems they might be having is that their mnemonic might
turn people off. The initials "KKK" have a negative
connotation in most places. Plus,
calling an album "Sex Champions"
might also be unwise, as their prime demographic is 10-12
year old girls.

Rock On!

Sid Gupta
Oak Ridge, Tennessee

The
Talent Development Division at MHVSEE feels the same way. Since
many retailers are returning the KKK's latest album unopened
it saves us the trouble of recalling it. Next month we will
re-release the album and call it Puppy-Dog Eyes and
the band name will be changed to TheKiCK (Kitty Cat Klan). That's
what it should have been anyway. Someone obviously didn't
know how to spell cat.

-ed

Dear Mind Melt!

I love the BSOLP!
I'm so glad they are finally coming to America. I keep looking in
the newspapers for their tour schedule but they don't have one yet. Do
you know what cities the band will visit during the 2009 World
Tour? Since I am unemployed I want to travel city to city following
The BSOLP like I used to do when the Grateful Dead toured. Do they need
extra roadies?

Yours in
psychedelic harmonium,

Wavy Chutney
San Francisco, CA (USA)

The
BSOLP schedule is still being finalized. Mr. Singh and the
boys are in America at an undisclosed location. Sadly, Mr.
Singh did not know that he had an outstanding warrant for
his arrest in Marion County, Missouri. Until that matter is
cleared up it appears the tour will be delayed. Mr. Singh's
lawyers are on their way to America as we speak.

-ed

Dear Mind Melt,

I just bought
Uni-Vibe
Garden by the BSOLP. I think it sucks. Can I get my money back?

Yanni
Athens, Greece

No.
Mr. Singh has a no return policy. But I will tell you this:
If you did not like Uni-Vibe Garden I strongly
suggest that you not buy Uni-Vibe Garden 2.

-ed

To
Whom it May Concern:

Can
you explain to me why Mogender Singh thinks he's some sort of big
shot? Big deal! So what if he promotes a few bands, including those
losers The BSOLP. Everyone knows The BSOLP is just a Psychedelic
Mooj Tribute Band! The Psychedelic Mooj is the highest ranked
psychedelic blues band in the world and they'll have nothing to do
with Mogender Singh. When Singh can sign a band as good as the P-Mooj,
then I'll pay homage.

Adam
Mesa, Arizona (USA)

First
of all no one has ever denied that The BSOLP is a
Psychedelic Mooj Tribute band. So what is your point?

-ed

Hey,
Gang!

Your
magazine totally rocks! I love psychedelic rock and acid raga. My
friends and I are going to start a psychedelic skiffle band. How do we get an audition
with Mr. Singh?

Modi
Rathod
Gujarat University, Ahmedabad

If
you are good enough Mr. Singh will find you.

-ed

Namaste!

I
just bought the new Mera Naam Choo Choo album. I enjoyed it
very much. Choo Choo is such a talented boy!

Adya
Jindal (Choo Choo's mom)
Jamba, Rajisthan

Thank
you, Mrs. Jindal. I agree with you! Choo Choo is a very
talented boy!

-ed

Dear
Mr. Singh,

I
own the Tashauz Restaurant in Dosoguz, Turkmenistan. Last May you
booked my establishment for a dinner show. I never got paid! You also need
to get that big trap door wooden thing out of here. It takes up
valuable space in my parking lot. Please return my phone
calls!

Yomud
Niyazov
Dosoguz, Turkmenistan

I
must be frank and tell you I run the MHVSEE Talent
Development Division. Another chap runs the legal claims
office. I will forward your email to him.

-ed

Dear Mind Melt,

A
few years ago I was in Mexico for Spring Break. I ate dinner at a
place that had a Mariachi Band. I kept tipping the band to play Pink
Floyd songs, which they did. I wonder if those Mariachi guys are the
guys that are now calling themselves Infarto Muy Grande
(which means Big Heart Attack not Big Fart as some people think). If
they are I think I should get some sort of royalty for discovering
them.

Tom
Urbanskee
Halethorpe, MD (USA)

Mr.
Singh believes in paying talent scouts if and when they
prove useful. If you can prove your claim I will see that
you are rewarded.

-ed

Hello!

Hey,
is the Press still boycotting Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh? We never
hear anything about him anymore. Is he dead?

Seth KaramchandCuddapah, India

The
Press boycott is officially over; however, since no one
attended the Press Conference where this was discussed many reporters may not know it. And, no;
Mr. Singh is not dead.

-ed

Dear
Psychedelic Mind Melt,

I am
writing to tell you I enjoyed your new magazine. It is really good.
I have a question. In America there is a band called The Psychedelic
Mooj. They are currently the highest ranked psychedelic blues band
in the world. Is there any connection between this band and Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh? I ask this because (I am assuming) the
Psychedelic Mooj is named after Swami Mooj and Swami Mooj was
Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh's uncle. Since Singh promotes
psychedelic bands he surely must have something to do with a band
named after his uncle that is psychedelic, right?

Julie
Tam
Toronto, Canada

As
ironic as this will sound Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh does
not represent nor promote The Psychedelic Mooj. I know he
has made many attempts (through me) to contact them but am
unsure as to why they will not return his (my) phone
calls.

-ed

Dear
PMM

I
hear people often belittle Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh and make
jokes about his genius. These people are just idiots. Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh is a visionary who sees how boring today's music
scene has become. Look at all the old great live music venues that
now pump out that DJ-spun drone hip-hop Albercrombie and Fitch
background music while underage college drunks stand around
pretending to get it. Remember when you could see bands like the
Doors, Iron Butterfly, and Zappa at dive bars like The Troubadour,
Whiskey A Go Go and Barney's Beanery? Now all you see there are the
club kids crawling back into their limos while paparazzi snap photos
of their sideways panties and hats. Listen to radio these days. If
you aren't into the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus or Hispanic accordion
chops then you're pretty much out of luck. Gone are the great
Rainbow Sticker concerts of yore, when the ticket to ride cost $15
and the T-shirt was less. So if Mogender Hanuman Vijay Singh wants
to use real musicians to put on real rock n' roll shows then I will
be there! Just tell me where and when, chief.

As
I mentioned in the previous issue The Mogender
Hanuman Vijay Singh Entertainment Empire(MHVSEE)
produces and promotes dozens of bands! Every performer and/or artist
employed by Mr. Singh is expected to be
productive. Mr. Singh feels that if you are not touring then you had
better damn well be in the studio. And if you're in the studio then
you better damn well be recording. And if you are recording then you better
damn well be recording something Mr. Singh thinks is really good. Unlike most record producers
Mr. Singh doesn't ask, "Will this sell?" No! He asks:
"Will this melt people's minds?" No other record producer cares
as much for his fans as Mr. Singh!

Below
is a look at the latest releases by MHVSEE. If you are a vendor and are not currently stocking
MHVSEE merchandise then feel free to contact us. If not we will soon
contact you.

The
Menthol Man has Finally Released his Long-Awaited Debut Album! I
love to take credit for great performers when I can. This is another
example! Before I
worked for Mr. Singh I worked for Shivraj Records. They were the pioneers
of Tamil Punk Rock in the
early 1980s. I was employed as a talent scout and asked to
travel to Hyderabad
to check out a band that was causing quite a ruckus down
there. They were called The Menthol Men and were known
to perform in the nude (with shaving cream covering their private
parts). I liked them and signed them to a short-term contract;
however, they refused
to record anything. They felt that placing their music on vinyl (or
8-track tape as was the case in those days) would subtract from their
inner-essence. This
proved to be inauspicious and they were unceremoniously dumped from
the Shivraj label. Now fast forward to the year 2006: By then I was Mr. Singh's
Vice President of Talent Development and accompanying him on a business trip
to Hyderabad. While there who
do you think I saw get on the elevator with Mr. Singh and I? It was the bass player from The Menthol Men! I
introduced the chap to Mr. Singh and Mr. Singh could tell just by
looking at this man that he had the "right stuff." Mr.
Singh signed this chap on the spot and he was brought back to Mumbai to record an album. Well, stand back!
The Menthol Man
(as he is now called) is ready for you to finally hear his genius
amplified! It would be
unfair of me to try and describe TheMenthol Man's music because I cannot think beyond
four-dimensions. I can only say this: Make sure you do not drive or
operate heavy machinery while listening to this voyage into aural surrealism. Yes. It is
that powerful! While you're at it make sure you also abstain from eating before
as
well.

Beau
Brummell and the Sopwith Holding Company Releases their New Album! Here
is another great band I can claim as discovering!I
forget the exact date. I recall only that I was in the hill stations
below The Himalayas when I came upon a monk who handed me a flyer
for a local music festival. It was an international folk music
festival and people were coming from around the world to share
exotic music. I had some time to kill so I went
to the festival not expecting to find anything (Himalayan music
festivals, as a rule, are not fertile grounds for finding great rock
bands). I wish I could say that signing Beau
Brummell and the Sopwith Holding Company was a stroke of genius;
but it wasn't. I was low on my quota of band signings that month and
so I signed them after watching them perform that day. I might have
been drunk that day, too. Anyway, I never dreamed that they would be as successful
as they are now. This success is tested once again with a new
album called There! I'm not sure where
"There" is but it surely isn't anywhere I've been before.

Blues
Lovers! Here's Something You've been Waiting For! If you've been
complaining that there really isn't anything good out there anymore then you are in for a
treat. A few years ago Mr. Singh signed
a blues man that uses no name. He even refuses to be called
"the unnamed blues man," which he is sometimes billed as
when he performs and the poster painter is unaware that he wishes to
not be identified at all. The more enlightened poster painters just
leave a blank spot where his name should be and _______'s fans know that the
missing name is him. Anyway _______ released his new album this month. It is called Steamin'. I
love this album and play it when I am tired an unable to
sleep. _______'s music doesn't really help me sleep but it
gives me something great to listen to while I stare up at the
ceiling and watch the visions in my head replay torturous moments of
my life.

More
BSOLP Madness? I am afraid so. The
new BSOLP album Uni-vibe
Garden 2was released last week with little or no fanfare. If you bought Uni-Vibe Garden a
few months ago then you know what to expect in Uni-vibe
Garden 2 because stuff that
wasn't used on A Neem Tree Grows in
Gurgaon AND Uni-Vibe Garden was used here. This compilation
album is actually better than you would think even though these
songs are essentially outtakes from an outtake album. You might even
say they are so bad that they are good. Mr. Singh also added two
live tracks from the September 8, 2007 Mumbai Civic Centre
show. These tracks were actually outtakes from The Live in Mumbai
album. I guess Mr. Singh can never be accused of being un environmental! He
recycles everything! In this case he has also composted.

I
Know, I know: Swedish Death Polka isn't your bag. All I can say
is listen to hsiuw1ehis2's new album q`sws`iasw before
you make up your mind for sure. I have no idea how or why Mr. Singh
signed this glass-eyed hooligan but I do know he was never allowed to come to Mumbai.
Mr. Singh sent him money and told him to find someone to record him
and then send the tapes back. He did and Mr. Singh had someone
bravely engineer and master the tapes. This is the end result. To be
honest I wanted nothing to do with this venture. I won't even listen
to the CD. I'm too afraid.

What
Will You be doing This St. Patrick's Day? If you are smart then you
will buy the new Gaelic Versifier CD Words and Music and give it a listen.
The Gaelic Versifier, as most of you know, was a featured
poet in the old Swami Mooj Enlightenment Newsletters. Poetry
was just the beginning for this swarthy man of the world. He is now writing and
performing music (as well as doing step dancing). Even if you are
not Irish (as many of us aren't) this is good stuff!

So
many of you enjoyed reading the Blogs of the BSOLP
that I thought I'd add their latest ones:

Monday, January
05, 2009

Finally
in America!
Current mood: breezy

Well
we're here. I don't know where here is because
we haven't had our band meeting yet. We are staying in a motel on
Interstate 88; that's all I know. Everything is pretty cool except
that the ice machine is directly outside of our door. Every time we
almost get to sleep we hear this loud "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ksssssssh-kssssh-kssssh"
sound. Mr. Singh (our boss) is staying in the room next to ours and
he makes the situation worse by going outside and yelling at whoever
is getting ice. Most ice-getters tell him to pipe down and then a
big argument usually begins. Then inevitably someone gets punched in
the nose (usually it's Mr. Singh). We then hear Mr. Singh getting
ice for his wound and we joke that one of us should yell something
out the door at him for making noise. We would if Mr. Singh had a
sense of humor.

Well,
anyway, good night.

Rock
on, Chotas

KP

Sunday, February
05, 2009

A
Slight Delay
Current mood: catalyzed

Our
2009 World Tour is being delayed until Mr. Singh can settle a legal
matter. He forgot that he had a warrant
out for his arrest in Marion County, Missouri because of something
he did when he was younger. Mr. Singh claims he is totally innocent.
We believe him. Until Mr. Singh can get his lawyers to come out and
settle things we are hiding out in a secret location. I am forbidden
to say where that location is. All I know is that it is in a house
that belongs to relatives of Mr. Singh. There are a bunch of
Northwestern University banners hanging on the wall. The band and I
sleep in the basement with Mr. Singh. He gets the couch and we get
the floor.

Rock
the Cazbah, Yaars

KP

Friday,
March 07, 2009

Mr.
Singh's Nightmares
Current mood: bored

Poor
Mr. Singh sure has some strange nightmares. He now refuses to sleep
because his Uncle (The Vaulted Saint Sri Swami Mujaputtia
Umbababbaraba) visits him in his dreams. I along with the other
members of BSOLP are devotees of Sri Swami Mujaputtia
Umbababbaraba so we think that whatever Our Dead Guru is telling Mr.
Singh must be important. From what we can gather from our eavesdroppings
Guru Mooj is very disappointed in Mr. Singh. Guru Mooj wanted Mr.
Singh to be a Swami like him. He even trained him as an apprentice.
So poor Mr. Singh really has a dilemma on his hands: he wants to be
a rock promoter but his Vaulted Saint Uncle wants him to become a
Guru and serve humankind by helping the unenlightened become
enlightened. Mr. Singh thinks he is already doing that with his
music. We have no idea what Mr. Singh will do. He is very stubborn;
but then so is his Vaulted Saint Uncle. The only thing we know Mr.
Singh will do for sure is time if he is caught by the Law. He is a
fugitive until his lawyers fix the mess he's in.