Want to Make Friends and Feel Happier? Try Kindness!

Are you kind? Kindness is closely linked to happiness: the kinder you are to others, the happier you will be. So, how can we learn to be kinder? Maybe you think that kindness is just feeling warm fuzzies? Well, it’s more than that.

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Kindness means action.,

Yesterday I was standing in line in the supermarket checkout. It was a long queue. I looked behind me and noticed an elderly who looked exhausted.

I said to her, “Oh, you’ve been waiting a long time. Why don’t you go in front of me?”

Her eyes lit up.

“How did you guess my feet were hurting?” she said..

It’s sometimes easier to be kind to strangers than to one’s own partner. Do you find that too? Perhaps we take the person closest to us for granted. Or may be we’re preoccupied..

Sometimes we store up resentment from past hurts in a way that prevent us from being kind and towards our loved one. Maybe we fear that we will appear weak. Or we think, “He/she doesn’t deserve it!”…

How kind are you to your loved one?.

Sometimes frustration and irritation spills over into our relationship and we become unkind and even a bit vicious. That may erode love in the course of time..

Simply put, if you don’t notice what those around you need, you won’t find ways to be kind. Here are some simple ways to practise kindness:.

Look at those you love more often;

Take a deep slow breath as you look at them;

Take your eyes away from the newspaper, laptop, or TV when your loved one or friend talks to you.

Actively look for at least one opportunity to be kind to someone each day ..

You might ask, “When is the right time to be kind?”.

Kindness is never out of place..

There is never a time when kindness is inappropriate. At the same time, you need to understand that this doesn’t only mean being kind to someone else; it also means being kind to yourself. There needs to be a wholesome balance between to yourself and others.

Putting up with abuse from others isn’t kindness! Being a doormat isn’t being kind!.

True kindness is to respect yourself as well as others..

Some people try and keep a score in relationships to determine whether your partner is as kind to you, as you are to him or her. I don’t think there’s much point in trying to determine that. Qualities like kindness can’t be quantified..

The true spirit of kindness is to give without counting the cost..

The magic of kindness is that it not only makes others happy; it also makes us feel happy! Just imagine that you’re bumper to bumper in rush-hour traffic. There is a queue of cars wanting to join your lane. If you wave to a driver and let them merge in front of you, you’ll feel good, and the friendly smile between you will light up your day.

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Some acts of kindness are unforgettable. I remember crying at my mother’s bedside with my son Sebastian. She had just died. Suddenly three of my close friends came in and sat down beside us. For some hours we cried and laughed together, telling each other outrageous stories of my mother. Then they started to organise the funeral for us. That’s true kindness!

Kindness is so hard to find in today’s American Society. With road rage, bullying and just living in this dog eat dog world. Kindness is something that many Americans never in counter. It is hard to even find the old southern hopitality when your in the south. I’m a northerner and you could forget it here. Kindness is given to those friends and family memebers who give it to you. Random acts of kindness are long gone from earth. St. Nick not santa cluts would throw money into random people windows, to help them a little during Christ’s birthday. Mother Teresa would help you out with the kindness of her heart. Those greats are long gone from the eart. We should do our very best to contiue what they started and bring a new rebirth to kindess in our homes, on our jobs and all over our communities

I don’t disagree that we ought to be kind, but I would caution against being kind with the purpose of trying to make friends, as the title may suggest.

Kindness naturally flows out of a genuine concern for a fellow human being, asking nothing in return.

When you approach kind acts with the eye toward getting the other person to like you or accept you, know that your act is fundamentally a form of manipulation. An unreliable one at that. Don’t let the thought prevent you from being kind, but also beware that your hidden motive may get disappointed. If you approach someone with the goal of being appreciated, and after you’re kind to the other person, he/she fails to say “thank you.” Won’t you be disappointed?

Kindness and generosity will naturally flow out of you when your own needs are fulfilled and satisfied. The way to get there can and often involve performing acts of kindness, so you build yourself up with your own approval, not from others.

As you become more confident and generous, friendships and good will flow naturally, as a byproduct of your own growth.

Hi Jonathan!
That’s in interesting thought. I wonder whether it’s because the people who are ‘rugged and invincible’ are focussed on their own survival, whereas the compassionate people have the wellbeing of all in mind.

Though how that makes you strong is an interesting question. I can feel a new post coming on…

I think kindness is so important and that’s why I put most of these things into daily practice. The only hurdle I need to overcome is the frustration I experience when other people are not so kind. I try not get angry but when people around me are thoughtless and inconsiderate, even in the smallest ways, I am very bothered by their behavior.

Hi Robert!
Attention is the key. I think that’s why many people are not particularly kind. It’s not that they can’t be bothered; they are just so preoccupied with their own problems that they miss the opportuntites for kindness.

I can be rough, invincible, tough, and rugged. Or I can be gentle as can be. I do not see them as exclusive of one another.

Power and strength do not always mean force.

A firefighter must be incredible strong, rugged, quick on their feet, but many of them have the kindest souls in the world. I have seen battle-hardened green berets be as gentle as a kitten with helping a kid learn.

It is insecurity that screws us all up. Without it, we can have gentle strength.

What a wonderful thing to be discussing! A true act of kindness goes beyond race, religion, sex, or nationality. It cares without judgement. It has a life of its own that can touch the hardest heart and bring an incredible sense of joy and unity. For me, a day without kindness is a day of isolation.

I absolutely agree that ” true kindness is to respect yourself as well as others “. My Gram taught me to always say please and thank you’s to people; no matter how well you know them.

Certainly that is a tiny bit of daily gratitude toward people in an interaction, but it also keeps me centered in how I feel respect for what people do; even in some little things.

That may not feel directly tied to respect for yourself, but it can be when one reflects on the value of the respect and kindness going on between you and the other person(s).

I also feel that kindess, at times, really requires that we take ourselves out of our egos, or not be ego-istic, and not be as caught up in the noise of the daily transactions of life. To really look at some of the simple beauties more often, as well. I find that I can muster sympathy from inside of my house, but I can’t truly be empathetic until I leave the house and take a good look around outside.

My Gram had an uncanny knack for always knowing when to give you a pat on the arm or a hug. She could see things at that time because she was looking. But, she also always knew the right time to send a card, or call to ask me over for dinner, or to ask what was up. Even if we hadn’t seen each other or spoken for a few days. So for her, I can say I feel that kindness and sychronicity do seem to have had a connection!

Very nice! I think another part of kindness is respect for others. I recently had an experience where someone asked me a question, and in the middle of my responding to her, she fully turned her back on me and started talking to someone else. I was so shocked I had to get up and walk away before I responded rudely myself, to her. True kindness come from deep within. If you aren’t a kind person, it doesn’t take long before others notice it.

Thank you for your response. I was lucky enough to have my Gram start that learning process and continue to foster it through our experiences together for a very long time. Her body quit out-lasting her spirit last summer, but I can still rely on the spirit of her and those experiences to get me through some of those times when people do the darnedest things..

I was already there with what John had said and was delighted to see it. So, I offered a part of my exeriences that make me feel that connection. Empathy also plays a role, too.

Showing kindness will not only bring friendship, we will have inner peace and satisfaction. Many times we ourselves will be in receiving end. If this reciprocity spreads to the whole world…A paradise here.

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i hope this helps.
nice blog
: )

I’ve been reading Thich Nhat Hanh on Buddhism and Christianity–he says, essentially, that God, Buddha, enlightenment, etc. are all, basically, metaphors for kindness. At least that’s what I take from it…and it works….