The problem’s not dance costumes

Dance costumes. Everyone has an opinion. Especially this gal.

Disclaimer: I hate to give this blog an ounce of traffic but I have no choice. I read it. Was pissed off. Started to write a response and then it got long. That’s when it became a blog about dance costumes. Or is it?

Debra Jenkins is a self-proclaimed Dance Mom who wrote a blog called “Dance Teachers: Put Some Clothes on Your Dancers” earlier this week. It seems that she feels that “it’s inappropriate to send kids to stage to dance in their knickers.” She has some pretty strong opinions about costuming and apparently thinks that the dance costumes she sees on stage lately are much less modest than past years. She’s wrong. Dancers have been shaking their booties on stage in bare-midriff costumes ever since we entered the dance world twelve years ago.

We’ve been on both sides of the dancing world. We started at a competitive studio. Moved towards a pre-professional ballet program and then when my daughter was a teenager, returned to the competitive arena. Dress in both studios is dramatically different. At the ballet studio, it was tights and leotards. Our competitive studio, is bra tops and booty shorts. I have no problem with either dress code because as a parent I can choose the type of studio that my child attends if modest dress is a consideration. For me, a solid dance education and my child’s happiness were more important. Especially since I pay thousands of dollars a year. I’m not going to get caught up on my kid’s tummy showing.

Debra has an issue with what seems to be costumes made from Victoria’s Secret bras. Guess what? They really are bras, but they’re from Target because we’re cheap and would rather put the money into rhinestones. And, because our dance teachers are not wanting our kids to be provocative, they’re usually purchased much larger than the child’s bra size to make sure there’s enough coverage. They’re also glued or taped to our kids bodies so there’s nothing left to chance. Know what else? We sometimes use lingerie for costumes too. See the gorgeous number below.

It’s the same thing if our dancers are wearing briefs (I think this is what she’s calling bloomers). Those babies are sized to completely cover a bum and they’re also glued on. Just like with a gymnast (she’s okay with leotards), briefs allow a dancer to move freely and they’re aerodynamic (which she supports) because dancers do jump, leap and turn. We don’t wear tights (which she likes) because they suck. They look awful on stage because no one’s legs are ever that color. Period.

Are the costumes modest? Nope and that’s the standard in the competitive arena. It’s not the exception, it’s the rule. Custom-made costumes lend a lot to the dance (even though she’ll disagree) and they win awards. Studios are known for gorgeous costumes and so are costume designers. That’s a fact (and for the record, my kid is a teenager and she’s not wearing a thong and pasties).

Before I go any further, I’m going to say this. If you as a parent, don’t want your child to dance with a bare midriff, you have a choice. Choose a studio with more modest dance costumes. It’s personal preference. The end.

My real problem with this gal’s post? It’s hypocritical. To illustrate her point about inappropriate dress, she shows Misty Copeland in the Under Armour campaign and Beyonce on stage (interesting enough it’s okay that Beyonce is dressed like that because she’s Beyonce and it’s okay that Misty is in what she calls “underwear” because she’s not on stage). So, let me get this straight. You can wear booty shorts and a top if you’re an adult and you’re not in public? That doesn’t exactly send the right message.

If we tell our kids that they have to cover their bodies, we are telling them that there’s something wrong or shameful about showing their belly button. We’re suggesting that it’s sexual even though it’s not. We’re teaching our kids that it’s okay for adults to be comfortable in their skin, but they can’t be. We’re telling them that they have to cover up because God forbid someone might look at them inappropriately even though they’re not trying to attract that kind of attention.

As parents, we need to teach our kids that body shaming is wrong. And, when appropriate, we need to discuss with them the issues surrounding objectifying women because that’s wrong as well. It’s not a problem with dance costumes. It’s a problem with society and it needs to stop.

Debra thinks “our kids deserve better” and she’s right. Our kids deserve to be able to have their moment on stage, free from judgment. They work hard at their sport, practice long hours and quite honestly work their butts off. They deserve to feel like a million bucks in their costumes and if you don’t like the way they look, don’t come to a dance competition. Simple as that.

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So much this. And those costumes were skimpy like that when I danced many more than 12 years ago. Cheerleaders? Bootyshorts. The list goes on. Plenty of studios to choose from if you want different attire standards, but the double standard she argues with is BS. Simple as that.Jana recently posted…Krysten Ritter to Attend Wizard World Portland February 20-21

Yep. That was my problem with her post. Want to point a finger? Make sure your argument is solid before you start. Cheerleaders have been wearing uniforms to school since I was in school with spankies on underneath. Is that bad too?debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

To debcb–I completely disagree with your approach. There is a discipline in dance and it is not booty shorts and bra tops and inappropriate dance moves. The best dance studios will have a strict policy of proper dance wear (standard leotards and tights). Dance moves should focus on proper technique and should be appropriate for age as should the costumes. Bra tops, booty shorts and lingerie are not appropriate costumes. The top ballet schools in this country would never allow booty shorts in a ballet class.

You are right; however, in that it is not the costumes. It is more about “Dance Moms” who for the most part have likely never stepped foot into a classical ballet school and yet they seem to know all about dance.

I acknowledged in my blog that ballet schools have different dress. We’re talking about two different worlds. The pre-professional route is wonderful for dancers that aspire to be ballerinas. Unfortunately, that route isn’t for everyone and it’s not because they are making the “dance moms” choice. Once we discovered that my daughter physically would never be a ballerina, we chose to take her to a dance school that had an incredible ballet program (where they do wear leotards and tights) to keep up proper technique that was competitive because she wanted to perform on stage. Believe it or not, there are schools our there that teach proper technique that are not 100% ballet focused. Many of these kids go on to dance professionally, design costumes, choreograph and own their own dance studios. There is a world outside of the traditional ballet school.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

Question… what if you do voice your opinion and you’re told that they are the choreographer even though you’re not comfortable with your daughter wearing what is revealing and/or inappropriate for your child that is 13 or 14 years old

Dance is an art, there is, or should be, artistry involved. There’s a difference between dancer and artist and becoming an artist is what those that aspire to a professional career want to be. It can be athletic in nature at times but it is not a sport.

In the real world of dance, competition kids are told not to put their scholarships or titles on their resume’s, that they don’t matter out of the competition world. It’s considered something to do for fun and the experience of performing. Doing tricks doesn’t make you a dancer and you seldom see tricks, the a la seconde turns or the turning for days turns in the professional world unless you go see Cirque (their acro skills are amazing).

Competition teaches kids to do their best, how to recover from a mistake, how to win and how to lose gracefully, gives them confidence and performing in front of an audience. Don’t lose sight that competitions are a business, too, business being the key word.

It’s not about the costume. I don’t need to see a $450 costume on a dancer who is struggling, some numbers are okay without tights, others aren’t. One time when I was judging, a dancer came on stage in only a black leotard. No tights. She was magnificent. That was several years ago and I remember her to this day.

I don’t personally care what the costume is as long as it fits the dance, the music, the “story” and the dancer’s body. I have noticed the bra and booty shorts have been getting smaller, especially the bra, over the past 10 years.

For a while now, costume companies have been making their shorts a bit longer in the back, particularly Jo & Jax and Tina Caspary’s so there are those options if you want shorts.

You don’t like how a studio costumes their students, find another studio.
With all the studios out there, there is a studio for everyone who offers what you’re looking for.

I love Jo+Jax for that very reason. Dancers are not known for having small booties. I love the fact that they can be more covered. And, yes, I agree with you. I’ve seen some wonderful numbers by Seniors in very simple costumes that had lots of coverage. You see it all at dance competitions, everyone just gets upset about the skimpier costumes.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

As a retired professional dancer, competitive dancing is frowned upon in the professional dance world as it does not teach artistry, but rewards tricks. The fact that competitive dancers are rewarded for tricks and not their artistry is the sadness of the dance world today. The fact that young dancers are rewarded with trophies (that, by the way, are paid for with their entrance fees) is also sad. The fact that these dancers “do better” in their scoring the less they wear should speak for itself. You are basically signing your child up for art lessons and only giving the medium of glitter and expecting them to learn how to paint a masterpiece.

Parents, if you do not have a dance back ground prior to signing your children up for classes, please don’t act as though you have the knowledge to write a blog celebrating the mediocrity of my art and profession. And please understand, that if you chose to enroll your child in an art (or in the case of competitive dancing, lack there of), please don’t expect them to be hired later on as a professional dancer as they will not have the skills and artistry to compete with those that have been trained properly. The end.

We seem to be talking about two different worlds here. Yes, if you’d like to be a professional ballerina (which I think is your definition of professional) then you have to go a different route. If you’d like to dance professionally, you can dance as a competitive dancer as a child and then go out and get a job later (which is the technical definition of a profession). The definition of professional dancer has changed to include not only ballet, but contemporary, modern, tap and street dancing as well. There are lots of jobs out there for talented dancers. That’s why So You Think You Can Dance is such a big hit. While many of these dancers may not meet your definition, many of them have gone on to have successful careers.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

You hit the nail on the head, Deb! I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with the pictures I see of dancers! It really aggravates me that she was okay with beyonce, but not a dancer. So, we are supposed to be okay with our bodies enough to show our skin as an adult, but not as a child. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I’m pretty sure the way to get to being an adult who is comfortable in her skin is to start out making a child comfortable in her skin. I don’t understand people who see dancers outfits as sexual, if they do, they should probably go ahead and become a registered sex offender and get that out of the way for seeing girls in clothes as sexual because, there ain’t shit wrong with what those girls wear. If those girls + the moms are comfortable showing their stomach and legs than no one else should have a problem with it! Period. I personally think the outfits are cute and those girls do amazing things up on stage, it takes me back to when I was in ballet and guess what, a leotard and tights doesn’t cover much more than what they have on above. A leotard is skin tight so it’s not hiding anything and there is nothing wrong with either outfit. She needs to get down off her disgusting high horse. End rant.

As the teacher from Finland said, we tend to focus more on artistry and expression in Europe than on tricks. Please forgive me those dancers / teachers / choreographers in USA who this doesn’t apply to.

My thoughts exactly. Yes, DANCERS ARE ATHLETES, but we are not producing a sport. We are executing an Art Form.
You can’t put grades on my art. It is my expression. It should never be about how many flips you can do, or how high you can kick, but how well am I going to remember the feelings you caused in my heart when I watched you dance.
THAT is art. ☺

The definition of an athlete is someone “who is proficient in sports and other exercise.” Yes, dance is art and it’s not about how many turns you can do. However, it is a sport. Dancers are highly trained athletes whether they’re ballerinas or hip hop dancers.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

Well put! There are safe guards in place to make sure nothing goes awry. I danced competitively and twirled baton on a National and College level and there was always lots of tape in place and the outfits were custom to actually FIT. Not too small so that they ride up and not too big so that they’d bag out and show all the things.

When I watch dancing, baton, cheer.. whatever… the LAST thing on my mind is “damn that outfit looks sexual”. I’m looking at the clean lines of the dancers, the grace, the power and the skill. As a former performer and also a current parent of a daughter in competitive cheer I could give an eff about what the outfit is. If it fits well, isn’t dangerous and they can move in it – cool.Brooke recently posted…Chanel Troublante Le Vernis Dupe? + China Glaze The Great Outdoors Swatches + GIVEAWAY!

The main difference here is, for the dancing, you have to be able to move without restriction. Yes, that means you probably wear things more fitted, and less clothes all together. But it’s not in anyway suggesting that it’s done for sensual reasons. Yes it’s meant to be attractive (that’s why there are designers for these kinds of things, to make them look good!) but not in an “I’m attractive, look at me” kind of way (but a “look how I can move” kind of way).
At the same time, I think the original post (which I won’t read, but gleaming from what you have said she thinks is wrong) is more along the lines of “we’re teaching our kids it’s okay to be naked!” – no, we’re teaching them that bodies are awesome, and you can teach them to do awesome things! The problem with dressing like that is other people, not yourself. You’re not parading around in half dress because it’s “cool” or whatever, you’re wearing a costume for a performance in an environment that calls for such attire. If you’re watching such a performance, you ought to be looking at what they are doing and how they are moving and able to do such awesome things – if you’re fixated on their bodies and what they are or aren’t showing, you’re missing the point.Jessica [Havok] recently posted…The Happy Planner from MAMBI

I don’t think her post is wrong. It’s her opinion. I do think it’s 100% wrong to pull pictures of people’s kids off the internet and use them as an example of what’s wrong with dancing. I also think it’s terrible to body shame. We need to teach our kids that it’s okay to show their tummies in an environment where everyone else is. And, yes, I do agree that there is a time and a place for everything.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

I have two girls in competitive dance. Out rule of thumb is that their costumes must cover what their swimsuit would. Our studio owner is focused on technique over tricks and is even more focused on producing good people who happen to dance. She talks to them about making good choices, being good sports, and being reflective.

The problem that this post completely ignores is that these are children, not grown adults. Grown adults can make their own choices, fully informed. As parents. it is up to us to make those choices. To say that it’s “the competitive nature” is ridiculous – that competitive nature is what we’ve allowed to happen. Little girls don’t need to be in booty shorts and sports bras to dance. They don’t NEED to be attired that way to compete but this post says it’s the competitive atmosphere. So what you’re really saying is that that’s how adults who are doing the judging want to see children attired. Frankly, that’s disturbing.

This has reminded me of my old fashioned great grandma, she was amazing and hardworking, but each time she’d see a figure skater or a dancer on TV she’d curse them for showing what’s under the skirt )))))) times change and everything else doesSiniciliya recently posted…Chocolate Hills

Well said! I don’t think there is anything wrong with showing your stomach and what kind of message are we sending out to our children if we tell them to oppress their own bodies?Ana De- Jesus recently posted…Dreaming Of Another Tomorrow

You’re exactly right. We do have a choice. I find it disheartening and disgusting that parents dress their daughters like prostitutes and parade them in front of the world. And I choose not to watch these competitions or allow my children to watch them either. The last one we went to I pointed to the girls on the stage and told my daughter, “This is EXACTLY who you do not want to be.” Why not just take your eight year old to the street corner and hand her over to the first dirty old man who walks by? I do have a choice – and I’m teaching my daughter to respect herself.

I am also teaching my daughter to respect herself … and to respect others who have different opinions. I hope you’re not raising your children to be as harsh and judgmental as what you just posted. Please put this in context. These girls are COMPETING in dance, and are being judged on technique. If the audience (you) sees this as equivalent to marching them on a street corner, I believe the problem is with you, not these hard-working and talented dancers. Remove your mind from the gutter and try watching again.

I agree – it is a personal choice. I don’t judge others. But that being said, I would never allow my girls to wear these. I have asked the company to select different costumes that do not follow our family morals.

I think it’s wonderful that there are all kinds of dance studios out there. Ours does modest costumes for recital so if you dance recreationally, you don’t have to worry about costumes. It’s all a choice.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

at the end of the day if she doesn’t like the look, then go somewhere else. why do people need to complain about everything and try to change it? just move on! lollaura londergan recently posted…RECIPES :: The BEST of 2015

I think middle school was the last time I was in dance class and my jazz number was animal print and off the shoulder. My ballet costume was short and also off the shoulder. Mind you, this was 20+ years ago. If you dance, it’s easier to move around in less material. I’m guessing this woman also has a problem with cheerleaders (I was one of those, too) since they show off their briefs when doing kicks. Some people like to make a bigger deal out of things than they really are. I guess it all comes down to what the parent in comfortable with.Jessica recently posted…Customizing Twenty Sixteen: Four Takes on Our Annual Theme

It’s interesting, she doesn’t have a problem with gymnasts. Such a double standard. I just watched a rehearsal with three teenagers in long skirts. Lots of hard work to not trip on the skirts and these girls are really talented. Yes, it comes down to the parent. Don’t like the costumes, find a new studio.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

You know what? I have to experience with being a dance mom or anything like that but I do agree. If modesty is an issue for you, there are other schools. I know my town has 4 different dance schools with varying dress codes.Erin recently posted…February Wall Calendar {free printable!}

Honestly, both of you are imposing your moral judgments here rather than focusing on the kids. I used to dance but never went as far with it as I would have liked because too often the costumes robbed me of all sense of agency. I’m all for people wearing whatever they want, but honestly, the costumes made me feel like shit — and I was a skinny kid. This is something those of you who have power in the dance world never want to talk about, is how you’re feeding eating disorders and low self-esteem among girls with the crap you make them wear. How I learned my body wasn’t my own because I had to wear all sorts of shit I was extremely uncomfortable with. (And surprise surprise, eventually I wound up dating a guy who raped me and I stayed with him.) Both you and the other woman have a hell of a lot to answer for, but I doubt you’ll ever want to take a hard look at yourselves and see how you’re erasing kids’ emotional well-being from the picture in your drive for approval from your peers.

I agree that some studios give not regard to kid’s well being. We’ve been blessed to be at a studio where every type of body shape is embraced. Costumes aren’t ordered until they see who is in dances and then they order to make the girls comfortable on stage.debcb recently posted…The problem’s not dance costumes

I definitely do agree that it is hypocritical to say that it’s okay for one person to show their skin and not another. That said, I personally wouldn’t be okay with my daughters wearing these outfits, but I also would never show that much skin myself (and that’s no judgement on you allowing your daughter to– just my personal preference). I agree 100% that if a person disagrees with the costumes or choreography (or anything else) a certain studio requires, they should definitely find a different place to take their kids, since there are a lot of other options.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about all of this. My daughter would love to dance, but the only studio in our area definitely doesn’t trend on the modest side. I think that she is a little young to be wearing some of the costumes that they wear, but that is a personal preference, and one reason she is in basketball right now instead of dance 🙂Heather recently posted…knitting and reading

Absolutely, you have to make the choice that is comfortable for your family. I’ve seen costumes in the past that I’d never want my child to wear too.debcb recently posted…This Year’s Most Popular Recipes

WOOOOW, what a heated comment section! I thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone’s perspective and like how there are so many opinions from actual dancers. I think we can all agree that dancing is a beautiful art form that involves various levels of athleticism and creative expression that may or may not appeal to your particular tastes or views of what dance should be.Yona Williams recently posted…6 Underrated Kitchen Gifts that Really Come in Handy

There is a difference between what is appropriate for a child and what is appropriate for an adult. When you allow your children to perform like prosti-tots, don’t be suprised when they grow up to behave like one. In order to secure a strong sense of self respect, I think it is important, regardless of studio, to teach these kids modesty first. Then let them decide what they are comfortable with. Just my opinion. Everyone has a right to do what they will with their children. I won’t knock that. As an audience member, it truly disgusts me that any adult would encourage or allow a child to dress this way ever. It isn’t a factor of sexuality to me, it’s about preserving their right to being children. As an adult you can dress any way you want, but you need the experience in life to make that choice.

Wow. I have a fifteen year-old that’s grown up in the dance world that has a lot of self-respect and has not turned out in the manner you suggested. You just proved the point of my blog. It’s not the costumes that are the problem, it’s people.debcb recently posted…This Year’s Most Popular Recipes

I haven’t noticed too much of anything as I don’t have children yet. However, I have friends who kids are in dance and right now my thought is that it’s part of the costume, including the makeup. Im sure once I have kids, maybe I’ll think differently?!

I’ll be honest and say I don’t know much about dance. My kids weren’t involved in it and took Karate lessons. I have friends whose children are involved in dance and believe it is their personal preference where they would like to send their children.Pam recently posted…10 Must Visit Vacations In Georgia For Families

To be honest I don’t like the standard in dance clothing, I do think it’s too revealing if this is the standard norm. Now I have boys, not girls, so I’ll never have the problem of choosing a studio who uses modest clothing. Now with my boys, I’ll have to teach them that there is more to a girl than her body and hope I can help them see that when society parades half naked girls in front of them all the time. Sometimes you can’t deny the biological response men feel when they see things like that. So my hard task as a mother is teaching my boys to ignore inappropriately dressed girls.Heather recently posted…Blogger Opp: Roaming Through Time #Giveaway Closes 2-11

I can somehow relate to this post. I was a gymnast and a cheerleader all my life so yeah, the clothes / costumes always caused a debate because I went to a Catholic school but it all got sorted out all the time.

I kind of think that there shouldn’t be a problem because we all know that for any dance period or category or genre, there are certain dance attires that you need to be worn and there are ways to go about with it to make it look okay ( like general okay ). Like what you said, it is a matter of preference.R U S S recently posted…Lucky 25. #VisitSingapore #SingaporeInvites

Deb Jenkins is full of crap plain and simple. I live in Huntsville and my kids competitively dance and i find her hypocritical and vindictive and for that reason I don’t support Merrimack Hall or her. In the early days of Merrimack Hall I let my daughter take some master classes there but NEVER again. But hey, guess what? Thats my opinion and I can express it. Most people that I know around here know exactly why she has her opinions.

My sister has been a competitive dancer for over 15 years and I must admit that I think that way too many of the dance moves, songs, and costumes are inappropriate. There are not options to stick to “more modest” studios when you are training to become a professional dancer which is very unfortunate.

I don’t know what market you live in, but here in Kansas City there are plenty of options to train to become a professional dancer that aren’t competitive studios. There are lots of choices.debcb recently posted…$600 Pay Pal Cash Giveaway

And that, unfortunately, is part of the reason I am SO glad that my daughter was never interested in dance. I’m not comfortable with the amount of makeup and the costumes and the sexualization of kids that I see everywhere – and it isn’t just dance, it’s cheer and plenty of other places, too. I am glad I never had to have that discussion with my daughter.

This is a great post and topic. I don’t think there is nothing wrong with the costumes because it is dance. It is indeed up to the parent to what studio etc they send them too and I do agree if they don’t like the costumes than go elsewhere. The parents are the ones that should do the homework before choosing a studio anyway. Thanks for great discussion.

There’s lots of homework a parent should do before choosing a studio and it’s not limited to costumes. So important to have professionally trained instructors.debcb recently posted…$600 Pay Pal Cash Giveaway

I was a dance mom. For years!
Yes, sometimes the costumes can be a problem especially since these little one are all shapes and sizes but, the costumes are not the problem.
They wear the make up so we can SEE them at the back of the auditorium. NOT so they can look like little adults. The costumes are more fluid to allow for movement. Seriously, try and do the splits in a pair of blue jeans and tell me how well that works. At lot of times dance instructors are open for suggestions but they see the whole picture of what they are trying to express with that dance.
I would be more concerned with the nasty dance moms before I went after the costumes but that’s just me.Heather lawrence recently posted…Healthy smoothies for on-the-go-breakfasts.

I can definitely see that this could be a sensitive topic. I agree with your comment that parents need to decide what they are comfortable with and then pick a dance studio that fits this idea.Amy Kelsch recently posted…Big Boys Sleep In Their Beds Book Review

I’m not familiar with what goes on in the competitive dancing world. Maybe it’s the age thing which defines what’s “appropriate” or not. I don’t agree with the whole “she’s Beyonce” part but the grown woman part I kind of do. Again, it’s not my place to say how a dancer should or should not dress. As a parent I wouldn’t want my 8 years old daughter dancing what I personally would call “provocatively” wearing nothing but “undies”. But that’s my personal opinion.Marielle Altenor recently posted…Piczzle Custom Photo Puzzles And Giveaway

I never even thought this was a huge issue to be honest. I never see kids in their costumes as sexual at all, although I can see why some moms and people can get bent out of shape about it. Ultimately I agree with you. It’s the parents choice either way. Although I think if her kids want a shot at dance as a career, they should probably get used to all those oversexualized rhinestones tbh.Hannah recently posted…Game Day Taco Dip & SNICKERS® Coffee Milkshake

I think it depends on the age. 7 year olds dressed in lingerie to single ladies…not appropriate. And I’m far from a prude. But I have been around sexual predators (who are now in jail, thankfully)…and even a bikini on a child can be innocently targeted. Somtimes it’s the costumes and the choreography together. I get pissed off when my kid gets accused of being inappropriately dressed in a skirt at school because she has long legs. But I check to make sure she’s in compliance with the dress code and tell the school to stop sexualizing her. But some of the costumes and choreography are extremely inappropriate we see these days. I stopped watching Dance Moms because some of the content was extremely inappropriate. Children should not be sexualized. There’s a difference between showing a little mid driff and sporting barely there clothing and lingerie on children. Jmo.

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