Depression & Fighting the Hibernation Habit

Winter can make it difficult for us to wake up, but getting into a routine and staying active can help.

By: Jenny Stamos

During these dark winter months, despair seeps into me along with the cold. I loathe days of bundling up just to get in and out of the car; dry, itchy skin and hair tickling my cheek with static; boots yanked off at each destination, and socks wet from puddled floors.

Since I work from home, I seldom really have to leave. Although I know I’d be better off for going to my chiropractor or psychologist, the grocery store, the gym or a friend’s house, it’s all too easy to talk myself out of the trip, especially when it’s dark by 5 PM. I usually end up deciding it’s easier to stay home.

Because I have “atypical” depression, I sleep more instead of less when I’m depressed. I eat more instead of less. And (quite logically), I gain weight instead of losing it. I crave comfort food—simple carbs that will boost my serotonin—and lean to choices that are easy to prepare: store-bought cookie dough, cereal, chocolate chips, toast with peanut butter and jam.

Eating real food in meals at regular intervals has a logical appeal. Spaghetti, stir fry, stew, meat and rice with vegetables—they all sound delicious, but the idea of making them? To the depressed mind, it sounds like a joke.

Sleep, on the other hand, requires no energy and no thought. It’s a perfect way to avoid … almost anything, really: working in the daytime, going out at night, even talking or making plans.

My exhaustion comes on strongest when darkness sets in. I’m convinced that more light will help keep my eyelids open, so as evening falls I wander the house, switching on every one.

My husband, who functions perfectly well with only the light of the TV or his computer, unthinkingly turns them off when he passes through. Pete buys reading lights for where I sit to read, but doesn’t quite get how much I need brightness around me when I’m inside to fight against the enveloping darkness outside.

It’s not all gloom and doom, though. The house may be darker than I’d like, but the light in my office is the brightest possible. And Pete, who doesn’t mind going out in the winter but hates when the house gets cold, turns the furnace up extra high, giving me the illusion that my shorts-and-tank top combos just might be wearable if I stepped outside.

More than that, my attitude has changed. I’m determined to lose weight, not gain it. I don’t want to look back and find I’ve slept another winter away. So I make plans based on what I’ve learned about myself.

As much as I want to spend time with my husband, I accept the fact that staying up until midnight the way he does will steal two hours of precious morning sunlight from my day. Paradoxically, if I go to bed early, I gain time rather than losing it. I’m less tempted to sleep in the daytime when our bedroom’s the brightest room in the house (and we still haven’t bought curtains).

I need things to look forward to in order to stay working and active (also known as the principle “an object in motion stays in motion”).

Turning to a fresh week on my calendar and finding it bare, I’ve been known to panic, anticipating that the pull to sleep will somehow end up being stronger than the pull to work or eat. But if I’ve planned just one day of appointments, just one afternoon with a friend, I have more days to look forward to—further reasons to stay awake.

I stay as active as possible. I look for reasons to cook. If I can get myself organized to host a simple get-together with friends, I get to spend time with others without having to go outside.

Though winter seems to last from October through April in my northern clime, there will at last come a day when the snow starts to melt, flowers emerge, and I breathe the can’t-be-bottled smell of spring. It doesn’t make the dark, dreary weeks any easier, but some part of me knows that once winter ends, my mood will grow a bit lighter as the light returns.

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