Lord, use me to be a light for You in this dark world...use me as a tool to show people how deep Your love is for them and how very real You are...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Believing....

Ok.....I find it so funny that when I really need to get ahold of something it is continually handed to me over and over til I can honestly say it has hit home......lol!I have been thinkin, prayin and just plain beggin for some things of God. This morning I realized that I haven't been believing it ... just asking it. I really thought I was believing, but no, it was just hoping. And even more than that...the one thing that is truly my hearts desire I just put out there like it was a sidebar idea ... or if He got bored for a minute and needed to giggle he would have some new material.So, yesterday I went to speak with a lady about some things. This woman is a woman of God....someone who I totally respect and admire. Somehow...lol....our conversation turned and she told me a story about a person who had been provided the very thing my heart has been longing for. By the end of the conversation, I was realizing that I had not really petitioned for what I truly want at all because I thought it was so big that I would be selfish to ask and the couple times I had mentioned it to God, it was like I tossed it in for a giggle. Yeah right, someone like me is gonna get something like this.....there are so many people so much more deserving. I listened, I teared up, I thought to myself that would be great....but still wasn't really ready to grasp that I could indeed go to Him for this.So, this morning I got up to do my meditation and devotional time and my first reading is speaking of this....who would have thought, right..lol!

³So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened² (Luke11:9,10, NIV).So I am not reading that I should hope my wish will be fulfilled.....my question may or may not be answered. This is saying ask and I will be given....call upon Him and He will be there! I am not reading to ask if you have achieved 1,2 and 3 first....or ask only if you feel you are the only deserving person of this. No, it says very clearly to ask and you will be given. That is so powerful, yet so easy to forget when I am in the midst of a situation. It is also so easy for me to believe it to be for a day or two and then tell myself that it really was silly to ask so maybe I should just move on and keep hoping that someday it will happen.But, if my petition is important enough for me to come on my knees....if my petition is desperate enough that I beg my Father.....I need to believe that He already has it taken care of! It may not be delivered today....or even tomorrow.....but He already has a plan of correction in place and my provision is already in the works. So, I need to thank my Father every day for it as though it has already been delivered! Not thank Him for hearing me.....not thank Him for thinking about it....not thank Him for maybe thinking about it.....Thank you Father for taking care of me in my need! Thank you Father for my provision!