YouTube. This thought has been plaguing me the last year or so about whether to hop on the bandwagon again. There are so many reasons why this is both a good or bad idea. I’ll go with the bad first, as there are a lot of questions that need answering about why I stopped & why I am hesitant to try it again.

The last time I made a YouTube video was early last year with some friends who I had met on YouTube and it was just a mash-up on random clips but I never uploaded it. The last uploaded video was a make-up tutorial and a video of me and some friends. And then there was this big two week trip thing that happened and a lot of friendships were destroyed and the whole idea of posting online has intimidated me ever since.

YouTube didn’t make me a nice person & I think it’s because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I think learning to be a journalist, to be interested in news, current affairs, issues, other people, has really given me a grounding & outlet for expressing what I want without it being centered on me. I need “me time” away from all this to fulfill the self-center shit that I go through. This isn’t making much sense, it’s all rambly but if you get through all this, ka pai.

I want to get back into making videos because I want to keep my editing skills sharp, I want to vlog about issues and things that happen to me because i’m really enjoying blogging here & videos would be a huge visually-creative outlet for this desire. Even thinking about uploading a video is giving me butterflies & is making me nervous but it’s something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

Plus i’m working now & although it shouldn’t reflect on my job/priorities too much, it’ll be weird to be writing stories & then also doing personal vlogs & projects on my current channel. I get worried that things I say or do on this blog will reflect on myself and if a future employer googles my name, they’ll come straight here but I think that’s a risk i’ll just have to take.

So after the big friendship bust that was July 2009, I backed off from YouTube altogether & so did many of my other friends. There are a couple, such as Rache, Patrick & Corey, who all still make videos but very sporadically. It’s hard, having new lifestyles & priorities, trying to find the time to make a video is almost impossible. But it’s not something I want to fully dedicate myself to, I wouldn’t give myself a weekly deadline or anything ridiculous that I can’t stick to.

So anyway. I guess i’m trying to say/announce that in 2011 I want to try vlogging again. This isn’t a big deal, it’ll just be when I have the time and yes, old habits die hard. So they won’t be long because conciseness is everything to me & the limited time we have on this planet shouldn’t be wasted. I’m not going to kill myself trying to upload a mega-massive video when I can be out enjoying time with friends.

Anywho, i’ll post videos here when I upload them but if you want to see past endeavours of mine, head here: Jessums31.