Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I am heading back home tomorrow and not a moment too soon. Let me just say that this week has had amazing highs and really low lows. High point, reuniting with an old friend and being able to take my mind off of things for a little while. Low point, again feeling like I don't fit in here and that I don't belong and I am not appreciated for all that I do. High point, making a good impression on the new owners of our company. Low point, watching people put too much stock in awards and being sore losers AND winners of them. High point, RELAXING and somehow NOT getting a hang over for 3 nights of way too much drinking. Low point, watching one of our staff become a complete ass and party his way through a conference.

Tomorrow I catch an early flight back home and then go to the dentist to be put in pain. I also have a school paper to put together on a book that I have not read. I feel like my school has just gotten lost this semester and I really could care less. I think I just need to find my mojo again and push through. Next week I am heading to the doctor to get assistance with a bad habit that has crept it's way back into my routine.

Part of wanting to stop that habit is that I am thinking about dating again! I got a little motivation this week and now I want to get back into shape and work on getting comfortable in my own skin again. I have a chance to change my behavior from a past episode and I am going to make sure that I do just that. I have the words of one of my friends in my head to help and I need to make sure that I keep on the right track and in the right frame of mind.

Now, where does a person go to date when they are not looking for anything serious and just trying to get back into things? I have no desire to have a relationship. I really just want to go have fun for a while. Back in the day, I knew but now I really am clueless.