A brother who actually loves his sister? Where did this take place, Fantasyland?

According to WKRG, 5-year-old Ryan Prendergast recently found himself in a no-win situation when he was forced to wrestle a girl in his elementary school league. I mean, if you win the match, everyone will remind you that you just beat up on a girl, and if you lose the match, well, you might as well pack up your parents’ minivan full of your Legos and shit and move to a different state because you just got your ass handed to you by a girl.

Well, Prendergast chose Option A and seemed to be in control after taking the girl down to the mat, but that didn’t last long because the girl’s little brother was having none of it and rushed the mat to come to his sister’s aid.

“That’s enough,” the little boy yelled while breaking up the match before being pulled away by the ref and another parent.

As for Prendergast’s parents, they thought what went down was “awesome” and the “best thing” they had ever seen, so they thankfully posted the clip of the hero brother online, and it of course has gone viral.

No word if the girl came back to win the match or not, but if she did, let’s hope Ryan’s dad refrained from showing that one to the masses…

]]>http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/hero-little-brother-rushes-mat-to-save-sister-in-wrestling-match/feed/0Turns Out Jerking Off In The Shower And Sending A Video Of It To A Female Coworker Was Not Wise, Ike Taylorhttp://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/turns-out-jerking-off-in-the-shower-and-sending-a-video-of-it-to-a-female-coworker-was-not-wise-ike-taylor/
http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/turns-out-jerking-off-in-the-shower-and-sending-a-video-of-it-to-a-female-coworker-was-not-wise-ike-taylor/#commentsWed, 13 Dec 2017 06:26:04 +0000http://dailyupperdecker.com/?p=13921by Tommy Gimler

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

It was only a matter of time before athletes or once prominent athletes now working at a sports network or Heath Evans joined the likes of Louis C.K. and Kevin Spacey in “You really did that, you sick fuck?”-ville, and it appears as though a former NFL Network employee must have had an ass to die for because she says guys like Marshall Faulk, Ike Taylor, Warren Sapp, Donovan McNabb, Eric Davis and Evans all went out of their way to let her know that they wanted to plow the shit out of her.

And just how did each of them do that? Well, you guessed it:

Marshall Faulk allegedly invited former NFL Network employee Jami Cantor to his hotel room, “stroking and pulling out his genitals in front of her, pointing to his crotch and asking Cantor, ‘when are you gonna get on this already?’ He also pinned Cantor against a wall, demanding oral sex while he pulled his pants down.” Again, allegedly.

As for Heath Evans, well, it turns out this sick fuck allegedly sent Cantor “nude pictures of himself on at least two separate occasions. Mr. Evans constantly propositioned Plaintiff to have sex with him. Mr. Evans also made several sexually inappropriate comments to Cantor, such as, ‘you’re making me horny,’ and needed to get in you deep and hard.’” Yeah, deep and hard, allegedly.

As for the already proven dirtbag Warren Sapp, it shouldn’t be any surprise that Cantor said he walked “into the restroom while she was preparing clothes, and urinated in front of her. Cantor screamed at him to get out, but Mr. Sapp laughed and told her, ‘Sorry mama, but your office shouldn’t be our shitter.’ Cantor complained to the NFL, but nothing was done until she told the NFL she would work in the hallway. Mr. Sapp also gave Cantor sex toys as a Christmas gifts three years in a row, showed her nude pictures of numerous women he claimed to have slept with, and openly talked about his sex life in front of Cantor and other NFL employees, including supervisors.” Phenomenal. Sex toys at Christmas, allegedly.

And it turns out that it wasn’t just the big game where Donovan McNabb couldn’t get the job done, as Cantor allegedly turned down his repeated requests for “CUM” shots after dinner and work. There’s also the whole “asking Cantor if she was a ‘squirter,’” thing, “telling her she ‘looked like the kind of girl that squirted when getting fucked,’ ‘CUM to dinner with me,’ and ‘why don’t you CUM over after work.’” Great stuff, allegedly.

As for Eric Davis, you know, fuck it, let’s just get to the money shot, as Cantor said Ike Taylor sent her a “video of him masturbating in the shower.” Now I’m not a human resources manager, lawyer or Jeopardy! researcher, but common sense should tell you that that is a video that shouldn’t get sent to your wife much less the wardrobe stylist where you work.

But since it probably doesn’t specifically state in the NFL Network handbook that recording yourself roughing up the suspect in the shower and then sending that video to a colleague is a fireable offense, who knows, maybe using the George Costanza defense might not be a bad idea this time around…

If you’re still looking to get either of the Bennett brothers a Christmas gift for some reason, a mesh bag of dicks seems appropriate this year.

Last month, we outlined why Martellus Bennett is nothing short of a “giant pile of dog shit,” but it turns out that compared to his brother Michael, he might be the sports world’s “Person of the Year.”

Believe it or not, Seattle Seahawks DE Michael Bennett is up for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. What does it take to be nominated for this honor? You guessed it: Lying your fucking ass off about racial profiling by the Las Vegas Police Department and trying to end an opposing player’s season by rolling up on him while he and his teammates are in victory formation.

You can read about Bennett’s lies and false accusations made against the LVPD here, but as long as you’re not Stevie Wonder, you’ll be able to watch him be an absolute sack of fuck at the end of yesterday’s 30-24 loss to Jacksonville here:

That was Bennett trying to seriously injure Jaguars center Brandon Linder because he was either hopped up on the best jenkem money can buy in Florida, or he’s just fucked in the head. Our guess is it’s the latter, but whatever his reason was for being a shitdick of biblical proportions, it started a melee that eventually ended with his teammate Quinton Jefferson getting ejected and then trying to climb into the stands after getting not one but two beers thrown at him along with some kind of yellow bag that looks like it might have contained somebody’s seeing-eye dog’s feces.

Again, that all happened because Walter Payton Man of the Year Award nominee Michael Bennett is a lying fraud of a human being on and off the field. Enjoy your Monday, kids…

So a dog just pooped in front of the Big Baller Brand pop-up shop in New York. (Insert your own joke here.) Now the highlight for everyone in line is seeing who will step in it. Welcome to 2017 in a nutshell. pic.twitter.com/lhCovjX3XK — Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) December 10, 2017

Listen, bro. Sorry you lose house and maybe wife last week on shit from pig gambling advice from Rakesh, but this is week we not only get house back but also wife’s sister, bro.

Every year, bro, we are forced to suffer through Army-Navy game because it is only silly American football game on TV. I mean, what else am I supposed to do with my Saturday night in Toledo, bro, watch Uncle Rishabh eat another full goat? So that is why I have study up on this game and will bet last Rupee I have on it.

Here is what I am thinking for that game and the NFL, bro:

NCAA

Army (-3) vs. Navy and OVER 46 Points

Check it out, bro. Usually this Navy team come into this one and pistol whip the fuck out of Army team, but that will not be the case this year. It turns out that sometime in last 364 days, this Army team has learned how to play football while Navy has seen slight digression in play. And as far as point total goes, bro, let’s just say the over in this one is bigger lock than Cousin Gokul getting no poon from American girlies this weekend. Dude has baby left arm that makes girls spit out drinks and leave for another bar. Sad shit for Gokul, bro. Anyway, load and lock up on Army and the over in this one, bro…

NFL

Washington at LA Chargers (-6)

Look, bro. This one is almost as simple as Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. This one comes down to Chargers playing like Super Bowl team and Washington being absolute shit from pig team. Chargers could win this one by thousand point, bro…

Minnesota at Carolina (+2.5)

I’m telling you, bro. Sooner or later, two things are going to happen. It’s like science or some shit, my friend. First, this Case Keenum is going to turn back into goat shit. I mean, it has to be almost midnight Cinderella, am I right, bro? And two, this Cam Newton will eventually pull head out of ass and start playing like professional quarterback. I think this is week where he puts more time into game prep than he does picking out what he’s going to wear for press conference. Load and lock up on Panthers in this one, bro…

Oakland at Kansas City UNDER 48.5 Points

Let me tell you something, bro. You remember last time these two teams meet and they score something like 600 point? Yeah, a lot has changed since that day, my friend. This Kansas City team has been about as effective as broken condom on offense because fat fuck coach Andy Reid will only let Alex Smith throw ball two yards again. Plus, this game will be for share of division lead, so you know guys will be hitting hard, like almost as hard as college freshman walking through sorority house. Take the under in this one, and then watch bookie cry like bitch when he forks over 1,000 Rupee…

]]>http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/army-navy-game-is-perfect-game-to-make-bookie-your-bitch/feed/0What A Ride: Baker Mayfield Has Gone From Getting Arrested To Suspended To AP Player Of The Year In Less Than 22 Monthshttp://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/what-a-ride-baker-mayfield-has-gone-from-getting-arrested-to-suspended-to-ap-player-of-the-year-in-less-than-22-months/
http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/what-a-ride-baker-mayfield-has-gone-from-getting-arrested-to-suspended-to-ap-player-of-the-year-in-less-than-22-months/#commentsThu, 07 Dec 2017 19:50:58 +0000http://dailyupperdecker.com/?p=13910by Tommy Gimler

Grabbing his balls and telling the Kansas sideline to go fuck themselves was by far our favorite Baker Mayfield moment.

But it turns out the AP college football voters preferred his play on the field over that, as 51 of the 56 voters gave him a first-place nod, making him the fourth Oklahoma quarterback since 1998 to be named AP Player of the Year.

Mayfield curb stomped the competition, coming in with a grand total of 157 points while Stanford running back Bryce Love and Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson came in with 83 and 39 points respectively. According to the four-letter, Mayfield leads the nation in passer efficiency rating and has thrown for 4,340 yards and 41 touchdowns with just five interceptions.

But he also leads all top players in arrests and suspensions, and that’s why he’s number one in our hearts here at the DUD. I mean, who can forget Mayfield yelling “Are you kidding me? I’m done!” as Arkansas police tackled him hard against a cement wall and then to the ground in February 2016? He must drink a shit ton of milk, as how he didn’t break his jaw or his hip on this hit is beyond us.

And then who can forget this from the Oklahoma-Kansas game a few weeks ago, as Mayfield grabbed his giblets and yelled “Fuck you!” to the Kansas players after throwing yet another touchdown on their sorry asses? To be fair, they were the dicks who wouldn’t shake his hand at the captain’s meeting at midfield prior to the game, so we don’t have a problem with the ol’ lick my sack routine from the other sideline.

Mmmmm. Tasty.

It’s obviously been quite an eventful two years for Baker Mayfield, and it’s only going to get bigger for the senior in the coming weeks when he takes home the Heisman and leads the Sooners into the College Football Playoff. Plus, you have to think there’s going to be another cock grab or two along the way, either on the field or a funny Christmas card that some aunt looking for meth money leaks to TMZ or some shit…

]]>http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/what-a-ride-baker-mayfield-has-gone-from-getting-arrested-to-suspended-to-ap-player-of-the-year-in-less-than-22-months/feed/0Some Really Stupid People Are Once Again Upset That A Montana High School Girls Basketball Team Won A Game 102-0http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/some-really-stupid-people-are-once-again-upset-that-a-montana-high-school-girls-basketball-team-won-a-game-102-0/
http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/some-really-stupid-people-are-once-again-upset-that-a-montana-high-school-girls-basketball-team-won-a-game-102-0/#commentsWed, 06 Dec 2017 20:20:48 +0000http://dailyupperdecker.com/?p=13898by Tommy Gimler

Yup, slow day in the sports world.

According to Yahoo! Sports, the Froid-Medicine Lake Redhawks beat the Brockton High Warriors 102-0 in a battle of two northeast Montana high school girls basketball teams last Friday. I mean, we sure as shit weren’t there, so we’ll take their word for it.

Naturally, a 102-0 curb stomping in a high school girls basketball game draws the same criticism and comments as it would in any sport, with the most common being things like “How does a coach let this happen?” or “That coach on the winning team should be fired.” or “Why in the hell are we talking about girls basketball?”

Well, as our good pal Andy Ostroff likes to say, here’s the thing:

1) What happens on the basketball court at any level in the state of Montana doesn’t fucking matter, and it never will.

2) If you don’t want to be part of a 102-0 ass pounding, don’t sign up for competitive sports. You win some, you lose some. Sometimes that means you lose by 50, 60 or 102 points. What true champions do at that point is print up the story and hang it in their lockers and work harder to make sure that it never happens again. You take that negative and turn it into a positive, work hard and build as a team and three years later, you go beat the shit out of that team on the court during one of their down years.

3) If you have time to leave comments on Yahoo! Sports, CBS Sports, Twitter and Facebook about this story, here’s our advice: Get a fucking job.

]]>http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/some-really-stupid-people-are-once-again-upset-that-a-montana-high-school-girls-basketball-team-won-a-game-102-0/feed/0JuJu Smith-Schuster’s Hit On Vontaze Burfict Is The Best Thing I’ve Seen From The NFL This Yearhttp://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/juju-smith-schusters-hit-on-vontaze-burfict-is-the-best-thing-ive-seen-from-the-nfl-this-year/
http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/juju-smith-schusters-hit-on-vontaze-burfict-is-the-best-thing-ive-seen-from-the-nfl-this-year/#commentsTue, 05 Dec 2017 19:15:54 +0000http://dailyupperdecker.com/?p=13892by Tommy Gimler

Karma can be quite the bitch.

If your average NFL player gets blindsided and then stood over and jawed at like some dude who just found out that his best friend was fucking his wife, it shouldn’t be celebrated. That player should be flagged for being a giant turd – even ejected if it’s warranted – and then suffer whatever consequences that stem from whatever Roger Goodell and his band of moronic thugs hand down from the league office later that week.

But last night, this was no average player who got knocked the fuck out by Steelers wide receiver and instant legend JuJu Smith-Schuster. This was Vontaze Burfict, a massive pile of pig shit who is somehow still allowed to don an NFL jersey.

In case you need a refresher, Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict has missed the first three games in each of the last two seasons for being nothing short of the NFL’s biggest sack of fuck. After numerous dirty plays against the Steelers in 2015, including a ruthless shot to Antonio Brown’s dome that eventually cost the Bengals their first playoff win since 1990, the NFL suspended him for three games to begin the 2016 season. And this minimal suspension came after a boatload of fines for shitdick play in years prior as well as several attempts to take out both Greg Olsen and Cam Newton by twisting their ankles after plays on the field had come to an end.

So a sane person would’ve thought that one more display of blatant disregard of another player’s safety would have netted this clown nothing short of a yearlong absence from the game, right? I mean after all, Roger the Clown was adamant that priority number one in the NFL was player safety, and what better way to show that that was indeed the case by putting the NFL’s dirtiest player on the shelf for an entire season if he fucked up again?

Well, Goodell got that chance earlier this year when Burfict unnecessarily blindsided Chiefs fullback Anthony Sherman during a preseason game. Instead, they only gave him a five-game suspension and later…wait for it…reduced that to three after he appealed. Say what, meow? Where is the justice in that? You have an absolute ass clown running around taking out players in preseason, regular season and postseason games instead of playing the game of football, and you don’t extend but reduce his suspension? Get the fuck out of here.

Surprisingly, people were up in arms last night after Smith-Schuster cleaned this fucker’s clock, and for those fucktards, allow me to use these four clips to remind you who finally got a taste of his own medicine during last night’s 23-20 loss to Pittsburgh.

This is how Vontaze Burfict “plays” football:

So yeah, when a guy like that gets his bell rung unnecessarily hard by an opponent, the only crying you’ll hear from me is for it to happen again and again…

I don’t think this one belongs to Tom Brady though, as this has to be more of the Martellus Bennett variety.

The Buffalo Bills once again delivered their fans a giant dick sandwich Sunday afternoon with the dreamy Tom Brady and his New England Patriots teammates in town, finding themselves on the wrong end of a 23-3 curb stomping and dropping to 6-6 on the season in the process. Quarterback Tyrod Taylor failed to throw the ball for more than 100 yards, but that’s OK because somebody in the Bills Mafia made up for it and then some when he or she threw a big, dark-green double-ended dildo onto the field near the New England sideline.

Call me crazy, but the way Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola looked at it, either he or his wife could have something similar in their fake cock collections.

Also, you have to consider the fact that the dude from the chain crew used his down marker to remove the dildo from the field instead of his bare hands to be a major upset. I mean, since it’s Buffalo, we would have expected something more like this to happen.

]]>http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/bills-mafia-back-at-it-as-somebody-throws-another-dildo-onto-the-field/feed/0Win Big Cash For Hooker Or For Wife’s Christmas Present With These College And NFL Pickshttp://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/win-big-cash-for-hooker-or-for-wifes-christmas-present-with-these-college-and-nfl-picks/
http://dailyupperdecker.com/2017/12/win-big-cash-for-hooker-or-for-wifes-christmas-present-with-these-college-and-nfl-picks/#commentsSat, 02 Dec 2017 19:05:18 +0000http://dailyupperdecker.com/?p=13885by Rakesh the Intern

Or best case scenario, wife tells you to buy hooker for you two to share, bro.

Let me tell you something, bro. I look at these college football playoff games and NFL Week 13 games and see many that are easier than my ex-girlfriend Akansh, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Here is what I am thinking for this weekend:

NCAA

UL-Lafayette (+14.5) at Appalachian State

Look, bro. Odds are majority of Louisiana players can’t even find their state on map of America, but that is what I like about this team, my friend. They put so much time in weight room and on practice field that they are dumb fucks in classroom. Ragin Cajuns need one more win to play in some rental car and pizza store combo bowl game, and I expect them to play harder than college freshman’s cock inside sorority house. Load and lock up on on UL-Lafayette in this one, bro…

South Alabama at New Mexico State OVER 53.5 Points

Listen, bro. If there is one thing I know about betting on this silly game of American football, it’s that American public is giant group of dumb shits. There is reason why thugs in Vegas have giant casinos and you live on your mom’s couch, bro. So taking over in this one might make me crazier than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking a goat at family reunion, but when 90 percent of public jumps on under, then Rakesh will take over. Easy bet here, bro…

Ohio State (-3.5) vs. Wisconsin

Check it out, bro. This Wisconsin defense is more suffocating than time Uncle Rishabh tripped on recliner and fell on pet cat. Dude is like 400-pounder now, my friend. That cat no longer has pulse. That’s now suffocating Uncle Rishabh’s disgusting collection of flesh was on that day. So yeah, this Wisconsin defense is Uncle Rishabh. But this Wisconsin quarterback with erotic name is shit from pig. I see him throwing three interception in first half, and this one ends in bigger blowout than time I ate 40 McNugget after night of 75-cent Coors at Toledo Elks Lodge. Sick shit, bro. Take the Buckeyes in this one, bro…

NFL

New England at Buffalo (+9)

I’m telling you, bro. I think this Buffalo team shows up to play game that will be tighter than Cousin Gokul’s anus. I also think over/under of Tom Brady dildos that will be thrown on field is 3 1/2. The over in that one could hit by end of first quarter, bro…

Tampa Bay at Green Bay UNDER 45 Points

Look, bro. The last time Brett Hundley threw pass at Lambeau Field, the Packers score zero points. Good thing though is that he has yet to be accuse of grabbing Uber driver’s pussy, something that can’t be said about this shit from goat quarterback for Tampa Bay. If we were in Howrah, he would have had both hands cut off by court by now. Sad shit, bro…

Cleveland (+14) at LA Chargers

Check it out, bro. Something smell fishy in this one like Akansh’s poon. Why would team clicking on all cylinders like Chargers only be two touchdown favorites against shit from pig team like Browns that can barely put ball in end zone and has drug dealer returning to play for them? I think thugs in Vegas have their hand in this one, so I will throw Rupee on Browns in this one, bro…

Odds are you missed the Jazz-Clippers game at Staples Center last night because you were busy doing something more productive with your Thursday night like jamming a screwdriver up your peehole or some shit. But that means you missed Clippers guard/daddy’s boy Austin Rivers go Christian Bale on a fan who was likely reminding him most of the night that Chris Paul was a much better guard.