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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Author's note: It's not often I make myself cry, but reading this when it appeared in the paper this morning left my coffee tasting a little salty. I dedicate it to every Super Mom out there!

There’s been a lot of hype lately in the mom world about this so-called “Super Mom” nomenclature. From what I gather, a Super Mom is a mother who goes above and beyond the call of duty which means that she probably bathes her kids on a regular basis, dresses them in matching coordinating outfits, always has a full cookie jar (homemade, of course), and still looks like a million bucks when she wakes up in the morning.Yep, I kind of want to punch her, too.But I’ve decided that since that woman is non-existent, I’d come up with my own definition of a Super Mom. Something that is more realistic and attainable for those of us who have dreams of one day owning our own cape.So show me a mom who has gone through even the easiest of pregnancies and labor, and I’ll show you a Super Mom. Anyone that can endure that amount of swelling and stretching is something special.Show me a mom who has walked a hallway with a crying infant, or sat up late watching infomercials while the rest of the house slept peacefully, and I’ll show you a Super Mom. (She probably has purchased at least one of those items as well, if not out of curiosity, then out of weary delusion.)Show me a mom who has potty trained a child, who has sat on the bathroom floor and read a stack of books four feet high and dished out single candies with every success and taken a few for herself, and I’ll show you a Super Mom.Show me a mom who has walked away from her child’s first day of school with tears welling up in her eyes until the moment she closed the car door and the flood gates opened, and I’ll show you a Super Mom.Show me a mom who has made an entire meal out of the leftover bites in the bottom of her kids’ lunch bowls of macaroni and cheese, and I’ll show you a Super Mom. (Also not to be outdone by the mom who eats the meal consisting of bologna sandwich crusts, hot dog buns, or apple skins.)Show me a mom who hasn’t seen her refrigerator door since the day her first kid was old enough to hold a crayon, and I’ll show you a Super Mom. This is probably the same mom who has colored more pictures in her adult life than she ever did as a child.Show me a mom who saves more than she should—art projects, doodles, tests, crafts, special drawings that say “I lov U mAmA” where the people have no bodies, just heads with arms and legs coming out of them, and I’ll show you a Super Mom with a priceless fire hazard.Show me a mom who remembers to turn in permission slips most of the time, and I’ll show you a Super Mom. (Show me one that never forgets, and I’ll show you a robot.)Show me a mom who feeds her kids cereal for dinner because, hey, it’s fortified! And quick to serve! And if you hurry up we can still make it to the meeting/practice/rehearsal/game on time! And I’ll show you a Super Mom.Show me a mom who can only peacefully rest until all of her children are all safe and sound and tucked into bed, and I’ll show you a mom. Show me a mom who can’t help but watch them sleep for a few seconds when she walks past their rooms, who listens for their soft breaths and re-covers them when they turn sideways and fling covers ten feet away, who kisses them on their foreheads even though she knows the risk of waking them up, and I’ll show you a mom. A real mom. A Super Mom.She probably just took off her cape before going to bed.

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Karrie McAllister writes and mothers from Small Town, Ohio, where she is also in the running for having the most unrelated part time jobs. Her column, Dirt Don't Hurt, has appeared on numerous Web sites and newspapers since 2005, and this blog is how she keeps track of them all until she can publish another book. Contact her at KarrieMcAllister [at] aol.com