look at it....obviously, a hospital food tray. specimen cup at the side, plastic fork and spoon, no knife.

no porcelain of any kind. all throw-away.

what do you not see?

no electrical outlets in the room. "safety" door knob, no spigots for the faucet. nothing that can be broken off or torn away - even the curtains were soddered into their fixture.

the other missing object is my son, who has been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now and has been put on meds to help with the voices in his head. night before last, his friend told him she didn't want to get serious, that they were in different places, that she had a great week and felt bad because he didn't and she couldn't bear that burden.

i am not going to get into an analysis/projection of my thoughts on any of that, because sometimes it takes a cataclysmic event (or two) to bring to the forefront something that is simmering below the surface.

he wanted to take his life. he woke me at 2am and told me what happened with his friend and then for the next several hours, neither of us slept much. i went to my morning meeting and received a text from him, asking to call when i get a chance. he told me of his plan to gather up any and all medication we had in the house and ingest it, because he simply didn't want to feel any more.

we spent the next several hours in the psychiatric ER at AtlantiCare in Atlantic City. very professional, we met with doctors and screeners and they decided the boy with the broken heart could be discharged and cautioned that i "should keep an eye on him."

both eyes.

what a day.

day 1 over, day 2 in existence and he's up and playing a video game. already, that's an improvement.

(that's the short of it...more later. i just had to get that out. if you are interested, he is actually writing about it himself...)

17 comments:

i have more to write, but wanted to get it out there so maybe some folks would start praying for my boy. i don't know if you remember, i went through this before with another one of my children, who is doing very well now.

Why not to talk with a priest to give him a blessing? Why not an exorcist? I hope you will not be mad with me but the enemy does that kind of things. Maybe a priest is the better way.Pray to St. Michael and the Queen of Angels. Also the Angels Chapelet.

I've gone through something similar with my sister and know how gut-wrenching it is to watch someone you love experience this. I know what it's like to be unable to rest, not knowing if they really will carry out the threat. I will pray for him and for the rest of you.

Wow. I'm soo thankful that God gave you strength enough to guide your son's faltering steps. This is so very close to my heart because of spending time the very same kind of hospital, and because of losing my brother.

You have given him a powerful gift and I'm praying so hard for you as you all walk this winding road. Your words reminded me of when I was there and getting checked in. They took everything away from me to ensure my safety. My husband had brought me my little orange bible; a cute one with a trendy little buckle like you'd find on a belt. They made me take the buckle off of my bible... I don't know why, exactly, but removing it felt very poignant in those chaotic moments.

Wow. I'm soo thankful that God gave you strength enough to guide your son's faltering steps. This is so very close to my heart because of spending time the very same kind of hospital, and because of losing my brother.

You have given him a powerful gift and I'm praying so hard for you as you all walk this winding road. Your words reminded me of when I was there and getting checked in. They took everything away from me to ensure my safety. My husband had brought me my little orange bible; a cute one with a trendy little buckle like you'd find on a belt. They made me take the buckle off of my bible... I don't know why, exactly, but removing it felt very poignant in those chaotic moments.

i tweet, therefore i am a tweeter.

St. Paul, to the Thessalonians

But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness, for that day to overtake you like a thief.For all of you are children of the light and children of the day.We are not of the night or of darkness.Therefore, let us not sleep as the rest do,but let us stay alert and sober.

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Knitting is very conducive to thought. It is nice to knit a while, put down the needles, write a while, then take up the sock again.

Dorothy Day

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It was not in me.It moved in and out.When I dared to stop it, the wine won out.(What it was, I no longer remember.)The wine then offeredthis and offered that,till I became dependent on him.

I, fool!

~~Rainer Maria Rilke

thought for today

"We are all in the gutter. Some of us are looking at the stars."

Oscar Wilde

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dorothy day

"Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily."

eight (!) years o bloggy goodness

batman philosophy

Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!"Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."Robin: "Not at all?"Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."