Kung Fu Chaos Review

Sony and Nintendo have realized something that newcomer Microsoft still doesn't quite get -- Don't release crappy games unless you know they will sell. Nintendo first-party games are easily the best on the system and though Sony releases fewer first-party titles than Nintendo and Microsoft, their first-party fare is generally quite good. Microsoft, on the other hand, has green-lighted and published such mediocre fare as Kakuto Chojin and Sneakers. Whoever keeps giving the thumbs up to these projects needs to be slapped and fired. Microsoft's latest entry into the "games only a third-party company would put out" is Kung Fu Chaos. While KFC isn't a terrible game, it's not one that showcases the power of Xbox and certainly isn't something worthy of a first-party release.

Features

Live your dream and become a '70s Kung Fu action star

Pick from one of nine action heroes

Long single-player mode will eat away the hours

Four-player mayhem

Custom soundtrack support

5.1 Dolby Digital

Oh, Most Ancient Play of GameKung Fu Chaos is a four-player fighter in the same vein as Capcom's Powerstone 2 and Infogrames' Loons: The Fight for Fame. Hong Kong action director Shao Ting is looking to shoot his latest blockbuster film. You take the role of one of several action stars vying for top billing. Using sets from other movies (what better way to make a budget title?), players fight one another for the spotlight while the famous Mr. Ting films it all.

You can choose from one of nine characters, each a spoof of an action cliche. From Pam Grier wannabe Lucy Cannon to "from every martial arts movie ever made" Master Sho-Yu. And, of course, there's a monkey too. Each has unique taunts and moves and all are distinctive from one another. KFC may fall apart in many gameplay aspects, but it does quite well with character and presentation.

Ready, make fighting! The controls in Kung Fu Chaos are about as simple as they come, with the X and Y buttons serving as heavy and light attack, B for grab, A to jump, right trigger to block, and left trigger for a taunt. Each character has only a handful of combos at their disposal, which you'll have experienced after only one or two matches. There's no depth to be found here, but that's not a big shocker.

The only slightly tricky aspect to fighting is learning when to taunt. Hit the left trigger just as you knock your opponent down to perform a successful barb. Your target will have a tougher time getting up (giving you time to grab them and throw them to their death) and you'll earn one star. Get three stars and you can squeeze both triggers to perform your character's one specific super move. The super moves are quite cool and range from throwing dozens of shurikens to blasting fools with your double-barrel shotgun. A super move is almost a sure kill in the game, so learning to taunt is the key to your ultimate success.

Problem is, once you figure the taunt out (give it three fights) the game becomes almost too easy. Especially when you take on people who don't know how to taunt properly. There's no learning curve for KFC at all. The only skills needed are the taunt and playing through each level once or twice to see when programmed events will occur.

While no one expects great depth in a party game, there's even less to KFC than is acceptable. There are so few moves that combos become an unconscious act. I know, for example, when I take control of Ninja Fu Hiya the three combos I need to hit. And I do them again and again and again. Do a combo, get someone on the ground, taunt them, pick them up, toss them off the stage. It's as easy as 1-2-3. Assuming you have three fingers to count on, that's pretty damn easy. Too easy, even for a four-player party fighter.

Death is a regular event in any KFC fight. Unlike most fighters, your goal isn't to beat your foe down just one time. Instead, each character has a number of lives that they can lose. The winner at the end of a match is whoever's left standing or whoever had the best kill ratio. If death doesn't appeal to you, you can switch up the goals to include things like having the most mojo or earning the most style points in a bout. It's always nice to be able to change things up.