Volcano Flu Claims First Victim

Doctors in the Icelandic capital, Rejkjavic, say they have recorded the first known fatal case of Volcano Flu, a man who lived only about 3 miles from the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano which has been belching black, acrid smoke and ash into the skies over Europe for the last week.

The dead man, Magnus Magnussoid, 57, a producer of the finest lava lamps, died after falling into the volcano on Tuesday whilst collecting lava for his splendid new collection of decorative bedroom lighting.He was killed instantly.

Magnussoid's business associate, Jussi Jaskatampon, who was with Magnus when he fell, said:

"I was always telling him to be more careful, but did he listen to me? No. He always went at it like a bull in a china shop, or - ironically - a bull in a lava lamp shop!"

Asked about some money he was alleged to have owed the dead man, the strangely-named Mr Jaskatampon said:

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