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The Sunday Series (150), with Mark Brodinsky

Any given moment is a chance to change, the opportunity to turn in all around…especially in your mind. Thoughts are things and thinking stuff has the ability to permeate, penetrate and fill the spaces of the universe. In other words, you are what you think and the universe moves in step with those thoughts.

If you don’t like your path, you are the only one with ability to change it. There’s power in your mind and unbelievable lessons and inspiration for all of us when you share your story.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (150): Child’s Pose

Always smile back at little children. To ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.
– Pam Brown

You would never know it from her smile. It’s bright and full of life, but for a long time it didn’t seem that Marie Triplett’s world was very good, there was little to smile about. Those days are gone – part of her past – but in the present, her story could save a life.

Marie was only eight days shy of her 4-th birthday when the first man she ever loved, her father, passed away from brain cancer. Her dad was only 22. It was tough enough, but unbelievably the truly tough part, the darkness, was yet to come.

It’s simply incredible in this life what the human spirit can endure. If you don’t believe this for yourself, then you should believe in Marie.

When her father passed he left behind Marie and her two brothers, one 3-years-of-age, the other only 9-months old. Barely crossing over into the second decade of her life Marie’s mom, now the single mother of three children, turned to drugs. Nine months later she remarried, bringing into the family a man who, as Marie describes, “was the kind of guy ready to take advantage of a 21-year-old woman with three young children.”

A child predator.

“For eight years I was in that environment,” says Marie. “Weekly my brothers and I were sexually, physically, verbally and mentally abused. My mother was numb to the world. I remember a lot of pills and pipes around. From the time she was in her early 20’s she had no teeth, I remember that. I also remember I somehow knew this wasn’t right.”

What Marie didn’t know was how to break away. “It was wrong, I knew I had to stand up, it wasn’t OK. But I wasn’t strong enough emotionally because I was being manipulated to where I was confused. My mom would trick me and do things like have a game night and then tell me, ‘look how happy we are.’ I had always been pretty vocal and told my story, but then I would recant, because I would be convinced I was betraying my family. It’s tough when you are nine-years-old and your mother is telling you that you don’t really love us.”

The family, living in Cincinnati, was always on the move. “They were masters of the system,” says Marie. “They worked out a section-eight scam, food stamps, social security disability. When I was seven I got my first library card, but I can never get another one in the state of Ohio, because my mother used mine to order nursing books, so she could learn and then fabricate medical issues for my brother and for her, to keep the disability checks coming. I was in 12 different schools by the time I was a freshman. We went back and forth so the child protective services couldn’t find us. I served two stints in foster care.”

There seemed to be no end. Until one day the law finally intervened and police forcibly removed her mother’s husband from the home. Now it was up to Marie, age 12, to testify against the man who had stolen her childhood and that of her brothers, as her mother sat on the other side of the courtroom, by his side. A watershed moment in Marie’s life, but one that would eventually bring her into the light.

The testimony worked. Her mother’s husband was found guilty and went to jail for 12 years. Marie says she’s sure he’s still out there somewhere, on a sexual predator registry. She knows her mom is still alive. But Marie says her mother has never met her husband of 15-years, or her two boys. Her brothers broke away as well Marie says, “one is doing OK, the other not so much.”

Marie was taken in by her aunt, already a single mom with three children of her own. “She took me in because she knew what I had been through,” says Marie. Her new family was still poor and suffering in that tough economic environment, but life is all about your experiences and your perception. The silver lining of it all was easy for Marie to comprehend, “At least I wasn’t being molested,” she says.

Each and every step away from the darkness, no matter how small, brings you closer to the light. Marie says from as far back as she can remember she knew she had more to offer and could do better than where she was. “I can be more,” says Marie. “I exude life now because the sh**tty part of my life is over.”

Though she dropped out of high school, Marie eventually earned her GED and at age 20, enlisted in the Army working as a human resources specialist. There she met Michael, the man who would become her husband.

Army training took the two to Fort Hood, Texas and they married in the spring of 2002. In 2003, they welcomed their first son into the world, but Mike was soon deployed to Iraq for nearly two years, leaving Marie to raise her son alone.

Mike returned home safely from Iraq and in 2005 the young family was eventually transitioned to Fort Meade, Maryland. It was simply another step on the road to recovery for Marie. “I got my first real office job, I felt so legit,” remembers Marie. “I was making $25,000-a-year, and had a 401-k, in my mind I was on my way to being a millionaire. A few more government positions led Marie to becoming a program manager for a weapons defense contractor. In 2011, just two days before Thanksgiving, Marie was laid off by the government. But that one moment, turned her life on. “I cried the day I was laid off, but then I realized I had asked for this all along.”

At the same time, Marie was immersing herself in the practice of yoga. She was just a few months into her yoga teacher training when she was told she no longer had a job. But Marie remembers what she had said just a week before, when her yoga instructor asked the class to do a deep breathing exercise. “She asked us to breathe in and let it go, and while doing so, get rid of something that isn’t serving you. I said I want to get rid of my job, I want to let go of it. Seven days later I was laid off. I believe in the universe and in destiny. It may not always come in the package you want, but if you listen you will get it from the universe.”

Marie picked up a part-time government job contract job, with the ability to work from home. Three months later she passed her certification and was now teaching yoga.

Game-changer.

In boxing when you hit the mat, it could be just about over. The fight you’ve been waging may be nearing its end, you are about to get beat, your journey is ending. The countdown begins.

In most of life the meaning of being down on the mat means you are just that – down. Maybe down on your luck, maybe down in your mind, maybe down for the count. But what about when your mat means a new beginning, a source of energy, a place of peace, a way to find yourself again?

“Yoga was life changing,” says Marie. “Because it’s all about accepting your path and being OK with things the way they are. There’s a spiritual side to yoga, it’s like going to church when I step on my mat. For me as a person I’m connected to the universe on my mat, more so than anywhere else. I worked out a lot of crap on my mat. Yoga offers a safe space, my mat always listens. I laugh it out, cry it out, it never fails me.”

While helping others change their bodies and their minds through yoga, a few years ago Marie joined Younique, a cosmetic company with a mission is to uplift, empower and validate women around the world through products that encourage both inner and outer beauty. Younique is one of the first direct sales companies to market and sell almost exclusively through the use of social media.

For Marie, between yoga and Younique, it’s a perfect fit. Just over a year ago she got the opportunity to speak at a Younique retreat, where in front of 300 women, she shared her story for the very first time. “I was floored by how many women came up to me after,” says Marie. “They said to me, ‘I couldn’t speak out before, but because you did, now I can.'”

Ultimately this is Marie’s purpose by sharing her story here, if even one person’s life is changed, it’s worth it.

Married now and the mother of two boys, she feels she’s in a good place. “I feel that it’s important for people to know you are not stuck in the life you’ve been handed, or limited by the life you have already lived. Every time you wake up it’s a fresh day. But take some accountability and ownership of your day. From the time you wake up, the day is yours, own it. Looking at the past is not serving you.”

“I’m not my past. My life is exactly the way it is because this is the way I willed it to be. It wasn’t luck that every job I got paid a little bit more. It was not luck that I did yoga training, not just good fortune I found Younique. It was choices, I took control of my life. Our story is exactly the way it is supposed to be and we also have the power to change it. My past is my parallel life and my current life is exactly the way I want it to be. Once you have the power to come away from it, it is a choice to go back and I’m not choosing that.”

With all transparency I found yoga myself. At the beginning of this year I started taking Marie’s Saturday Vinyasa Class at YogaWorks. Without even knowing the story behind her story, I was moved by the way she handled her yoga practice for our group, inspired by her giving, soulful spirit as she taught, as well as the stories she would share at the outset of every class. I had a feeling there was more to Marie.

I have learned many of the yoga moves on the mat. But one pose in particular, as Marie teaches us, is the one you can go to at any time during your practice, a place to rest. It’s way down low on your knees, resting on the top of your feet, head down, eyes closed, arms stretched out in front of you, a place of serenity and acceptance. It’s a posture I now know Marie has visited many, many times, because she refers to it as that “safe” place. A place she can be at peace.

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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Sunday: Courage, hope, inspiration, someone born to do what they do, someone doing their best to excel in service to others, someone trying to become more. The Sunday Series (14): It’s Time You Know I am Mark Brodinsky. This is my blog. This is the Sunday Series, the signature feature of the blog these days […]