Even though I am a card-carrying “foodie” who was eating food and carrying cards before it became cool, there are a number of foods and dishes that I never heard of before about March 23, 2008. Fortunately, I have done my research, which I am more than willing to share.

Some years ago, just in time for them to become useless, I bought a number of audio cassette music tapes. It was part of my long-standing tradition of hopping on board a new technological trend at the precise moment the trend was ending.

Someone recently asked me what do I do now that I am, technically, retired. I don’t play golf. I don’t trade stocks. I don’t complain (at least very much) about how my back hurts. So how do I spend my time? How do I fill my days? Why does retired sound like you are just getting tired again? Here’s my answer.

To make sure you are not a robot, an Uzbekistani hacker or an 11-year-old computer geek living down the block with too much time on his hands, please answer the following security questions before we can allow you to access your account.