The Tide Pod Challenge has reached the next stage of the safety hysteria cycle, with lawmakers proposing legislation to fight an alleged menace.

Not a single child died from consuming a liquid detergent package last year, and the number of child exposure incidents has been falling steadily since 2015. Yet a pair of New York legislators introduced a bill yesterday to keep the colorful laundry aids from being sold in the state.

The billsponsored by Sen. Brad Hoylman (D/WFManhattan) and Assemblymember Aravella Simotas (D/WFQueens)would require all detergent packages sold in New York to be of a uniform color that is "unattractive to children." The product would also have to come wrapped in child biteresistant packaging. Also, there would need to be a warning label informing would-be Tide Pod champions that the product is dangerous to eat.

"As the parent of two young kids, I'm very concerned about the safety of liquid detergent packets," Hoylman said in a press release. "It's way past time to fix these products or remove them altogether from store shelves."

Consumer safety activists also released statements of support for the bill. "By clearly marking individual packages with a warning message, I hope teenagers will rethink their self-harming behavior," said Shino Tanikawa, a member of Community Education Council District and clearly a master of how teens think.

The fear expressed by proponents of a Tide Pod ban is that the product looks and smells dangerously like candy, thus leading children to consume them.

Yet the actual number of fatal poisonings resulting from children consuming these items is quite small. From 2012 to 2017, only two children died from consuming liquid detergent packs. That's compared to the 16 kids under the age of 6 who died from exposure to batteries between 2012 and 2016, according to the National Poison Control Center. Batteries, you may have noted, do not resemble candy.

“The incidents are skyrocketing,” the senator said, joined by medical professionals, according to the New York Daily News. “These pods were supposed to make household chores easier, not tempt our children to swallow harmful chemicals. I saw one on my staffer’s desk and I wanted to eat it.”

The New York Post dubbed it gender confusion — the new Department of Education guidelines regarding gendered school events, like daddy-daughter dances, are so muddled that schools are canceling the events altogether, lest they lose funding:

[INDENT]A Staten Island elementary school scrapped its traditional father-daughter dance this coming Friday because of the Department of Education’s new gender guidelines.

The DOE ordered schools to “eliminate” any “gender-based” practices like the dance in a March 2017 policy update unless they serve a “clear” educational purpose.

The PS 65 shindig, set for Feb. 9, was abruptly postponed until next month after the school’s PTA realized the dance would run afoul of the rules.

“Until we understand what we are legally permitted to do, we need to table this event,” PTA president Toni Bennett wrote to a private school-parents group on Facebook.[/INDENT]

Parents' reactions ranged from outrage to disappointment. Most voiced disgust with what one parent dubbed "PC culture" in which "people are becoming just too scared to talk." Another parent more pointedly referred to the issue as "gender crap."

Students were equally as upset, not understanding why an event they saw as an opportunity to dress up and hang out with friends had to be canceled.

The Staten Island school has never received a gender-related complaint. They were simply forced to cancel all gender-oriented events, including an annual mother-son bowling event, due to the new Department of Education guidelines. The PTA has plans to schedule a new non-gendered parent/child event for spring.

The report quotes Jared Fox, the Department of Education's "LGBT community liaison," as stating that gendered events, like daddy-daughter dances, are inherently "triggering." He later admitted that if the daughter identified as "trans" the event would be "very affirming." In other words, the Department of Education is cool with gender-themed events as long as participants do not conform to gender norms. It's kind of like Common Core math. At least in the 2+2 can equal 5 sense.