The Candidate

You’ve been lied to before. But never with the audacity of this candidate for top office Richard Supreme who is again campaigning for your vote. His promises are bold. He invokes the highest authority. He emotionally tugs at your insecurities to ensure your allegiance.

Just last week he unequivocally stated “If you ask me to do something, I will do it.”1 He added no qualifiers. There were no stipulations. It was the ultimate campaign promise. And that is not the first time he’s made it.

He has also previously stated…

Again, I’m not joking! If any two of you agree about anything they ask for, it will be done.2

He gave no conditions. Again there were no stipulations. Unquestionably a great way to win votes.

But Richard does not stop there. He actually suggests that even the most minuscule amount of confidence in him would be enough for him to mount a major public works project if you merely asked him to. Here is his clear statement.

If you had even an ounce of confidence in me, I would have an entire mountain removed for you if you’d only ask.3

Again there are no qualifiers or stipulations attached to his promise.

This is where Richard’s press agent James Spinner stepped in a couple days ago to make a “clarification”.

You ask Richard for something and don’t get it only because you’re selfish and merely want to satisfy your own desires.4

Hold on there, James! Did Richard make a promise or did he not? This is not a clarification; it is at best a distortion, and at worse insulting our intelligence. If James is claiming to be a spokesperson for Richard, then Richard is reneging on his unconditional promise. The promises were made in an official speech with plenty of opportunity for Richard to insert his own conditions. He did not.

What is James afraid of? Is James afraid that Richard cannot come through on his promises? So it seems.

There have been countless numbers of cases in which genuinely needy constituents within Richard’s district have petitioned him for help, and there has been absolutely nothing done. In these cases, James is always there suggesting the broken promises of Richard are merely apparent, and that the petition was invalidated due to the petitioner’s selfishness, even in cases where a mother is simply asking for the medical attention that will save her dying child’s life. Who here is the most despicable? Richard for making promises he cannot keep, or James for the audacity in claiming the petition was selfish?

The facts are clear. Richard Supreme is a liar and either can not or chooses not to deliver as promised, and James Spinner is his unscrupulous apologist attempting to place the blame for failed promises on the motives of the earnest constituents.

And James Spinner is not the only defender of the lies of Richard. Substantial pockets of supporters swear Richard keeps his promises. When pressed to supply evidence that constituents loyal to Richard receive any superior intervention in their lives, they offer merely anecdotal accounts that cannot be validated with either statistics or other tools of scientific validation. They simply repeat over and over “Richard would never lie” and “Richard has just a mysterious way of keeping his promises.” No “evidence” they offer can be traced to the signature of Richard, but rather maps precisely to what probabilities would have us expect. These supporters actually then accuse those who take Richard’s statements at face-value of distorting truth or suggest they are incapable of “properly” understanding uncomplicated statements such as “If you ask me to do something, I will do it.”

It must be noted that Richard Supreme also promises to eternally torture anyone who might claim he is a mendacious breaker of campaign promises. I’d like to suggest that this may be a contributing factor to the loyal base of supporters he currently enjoys.

Have the courage and integrity to vote “NO” wherever you see this promise-breaking and fear-mongering Richard Supreme on the ballot.

2. Matthew 18:19Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

3. Matthew 17:20And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Words of James

4. James 4:3Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

Related

Wow, that is really hard-hitting, and oh, so true. Of course, you aren’t allowed to say anything bad about Candidate Richard.

But, is Candidate Richard truly lying in the sense that he knows that what he is saying is false (and doesn’t care) or is Candidate Richard so deluded that he himself believes the BS he is dishing out? If the latter, then he knows very little about human nature!

You know it has always struck me as odd that for someone who was supposed to be as closely connected with God as Jesus claimed himself to be, there are numerous instances in the Gospels where it is obvious that he hasn’t a clue about what makes us tick. He admits that there are false prophets and con artists but he utterly fails to realize that their mantra is “Trust me.” Instead he wants blind trust, blind faith. No need for signs, no need for proof. He’s different from all the others. We can take his word for it. Well, sorry, that is not good enough, and I am surprised that someone who claims the the things he did would not know this. After all, if he is God then he created us. It is a sorry creator that does not know his or her creation.

I am not the only one who has been struck by this. A few years back there was quite a lively debate over on the Wrong Planet forums as to whether Jesus had Aspergers Syndrome. Of course the answer can’t be proved one way or another, but it is intriguing. If the Gospel writers are portraying an actual person, it is very clear that people didn’t know what to make of him as his reality was so very different from theirs.

At any rate, someone better tell our candidate not to be too terribly surprised when people stop listening to him.

2.Daniel Ernston | June 27, 2011 at 11:09 am

I almost believed that Richard Supreme was an actual candidate before I saw the “eternal torture” thing.

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