Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of
speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is
surprising or unexpected ... frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
my list.3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
public.6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.(Note: Talking about fruits, there's also the George Carlin
original: "Show me a Gay Malaysian, and I'll show you a tropical
fruit")

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are sexy.12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.