The Colony is a well oiled machine, but Chuck Taylor takes matters into his own hands, picking up the win for his team after leveling deviANT with the Awful Waffle.

Rating:E+

Main Show

The show opens up with Wink Vavasseur and Lenard Chickarason welcoming us to CHIKARA TV. They go over last week’s show, showing the brawl that ended last week’s show, when Striker tried to take the Grand Championship from The Masterpiece but failed. They also talk about the random disappearance and return of Madison Eagles last show. Shifting gears though, they are proud to announce that a tournament is being constructed to crown our first Campeonatos de Parejas. So, tonight will be chock full of Tag Team action, as we announce teams for the tournament.

Rating: D-

We leave the commentary as Prince Nana appears on the ramp, flanked by Blaster McMassive & Max Smashmaster. “It appears that CHIKARA doesn’t respect me, or my clients. After the calamity that befell Max Smashmaster last month, forcing him to forfeit his chance at the Young Lion’s Cup, and at the Grand Championship, CHIKARA has yet to give him his fair shot at the harlot who stole his spot in the finals. So tonight, this ring… “ Nana points down the ramp “is ours, until Madison Eagles comes down, and faces both Max, and Blaster McMassive. Accrued interest and all.” He sets the mic down, and his two behemoths lumber down the ring, and pace the ring. They don’t have to wait long though, as Eagles’ music hits, and she heads down the ring, confident as always. A ref runs down and this match is official.

Eagles is outsized and outnumbered, but she keeps her wits about her. She comes out strong on McMassive, laying into him with forearms, but soon the numbers game takes over, and the Eagle gets grounded. Smashmaster has just tagged in, but takes too long to gloat over the fallen Eagles, which gives her the opportunity to kick the back of the knee out of him. Smashmaster gets to his feet, incensed at Eagles, who has now gotten back to her feet. Max rushes Madison, who bails from the ring. Max chases her to the outside, but she’s waiting for him, and sends him into the barricade. As he lays propped up against it, she gets a head of steam and lands a running big boot, sending him over the barricade and into the first row! The ref’s count is up to 4, as McMassive goes after Eagles. He goes to spear her at ringside, but she sidesteps and McMassive crashes into the ring steps. Eagles is back in the ring, as Prince Nana is clutching his head, stunned at what just happened. Eagles stares down Nana, dons a cocky grin, and strikes a pose as the ref counts 10. (6:16)

Rating: E

A video goes up, depicted an empty ring. Then the words “Wrestling History with Matt Striker: Episode 1 – Weapons” appears. We see a closeup of Striker as he begins. “Hi, I’m Matt Striker, and today, we’re going to learn about traditional wrestling weapons. First, “the camera pans out “we have the tried and true folding chair. A staple of wrestling for decade. A shot with this deals considerable damage. It is also one of the more versatile weapons, as it can be used to modify body slams and other moves, to add to their impact, it can be swung at a body part, or you can drop your opponent onto it. Next, is the Kendo stick. Kendo is a form of Japanese martial arts, so this weapon has a long history of applied use. It’s a very effective striking weapon, and can be used to choke out your opponent. The next two, are kind of new-age-y, but still dangerous. The Ladder, and the Table. Tables aren’t as much of a weapon, as they are a bodymaker. Put an opponent through one of these, and they’ll feel it for weeks. The ladder is more of a prop to give your existing high flying moves more oomph, but you can also slam your opponent onto them. These are widely considered to be the tools of the professional wrestler, but there are some who would mess with decades of proven quality.” Striker holds up a light tube. “Flimsy” He tosses it over his shoulder. He then grabs a title belt. “Disrespectful” He sets it down on a velvet cushion. He then grabs the sqeaky hammer used the first week of CHIKARA’s return. “Childish.” He throws that over his shoulder as well, and it makes an audible “squeak” as it hits the ground. “Now that you’re properly informed, you know the tool for every occasion. This has been Wrestling History, and I’m Matt Striker.”

The Incoherants teaming up for the first time since CHIKARA’s return, take on the Lactose Luchador Lads, and prove that hierarchy wins out in the end, as Junior takes the fall to Hallowicked’s Graveyard Smash. (2:57)

Rating: D-

Match 3
Mark Angelosetti & Sugar Dunkerton vs Kobald & Kodama

Angelosetti and Dunkerton have had beef in the past, but they look to put it behind them, as they’ve been announced as a team for the Tag Team Tournament. Kobald and Kodama try to take advantage of the dissention between their opponents, but it doesn’t last, as the two, two-sport athletes put their competitive sides away long enough for Angelosetti to plant Kobald with a monstrous Spinebuster. (6:24)

Rating: E-
After the match, Dunkerton and Angelosetti look wearily at each other, until Dunkerton breaks the ice by making a belt motion across his waist, and extends his hand. Angelosetti hesitates, before shaking it, saying “now you’re speaking my language”.
Rating: E-

We cut to the back where Matt Striker is standing, holding a thick book. He motions off camera, and we see the Masterpiece rolled into frame. Striker continues “Now now, don’t give me that look. It’s in the CHIKARA bylaws that I have to strip you of the title. Right here, see?” He holds the book up to the statue. Striker closes the book with a snap, smiling smugly. He goes to open his mouth, but The Masterpiece reaches over, grabs the CHIKARA Rulebook, and tosses it over his shoulder. He then reaches down and grabs a covered placard, and strikes a new, taunting pose. Evie skips up behind him, and uncovers the placard, before skipping away. It reads “Take It If You Can by The Masterpiece”. Striker glowers angrily at the statue, before throwing a fit and heading off screen.

Rating: C-

Main Event
2.0 (Shane Matthews & Scott Parker) vs Ace Steel & Ricochet
Steel and Ricochet are game, but their lack of experience working together is evident, as Parker and Matthews are on the same page throughout the entirety of the match. Ricochet loads up a double Rotation Moonsault to hit on Parker, but Matthews hits the ropes as he’s about to jump, causing Ricochet to crash and burn. Parker picks up the win with the Jagged Edge on Ricochet, as Matthews clears out Steel. (14:34)

Rating: D-

2.0 celebrate their win and announce that they too will be entering the Tag Team Tournament, and they’re going to be the first CHIKARA Tag Team Champions.

I'm all about milking cheap talent for what they're good at. I'm sure Evie doesn't cost much and if she can add value to a segment, make it happen. Plus a skipping Kiwi just makes the heart grow three sizes in joy. And you sure didn't mention Kimber Lee being there. She's sneaky, she is

Brandon Morrison - Chief of Staff and Forum Attaché to the Grand Chancellor

She wasn't, at least, I didn't think so. I just saw in the notes for that segment that Kimber Lee and Matt Striker work really well off of each other. So, that's why i assumed it was because I set her to be Striker's Manager.

You've had to spend the time setting the parameters and the only people you know, you've made babyfaces (except for Striker). Once you get comfortable with the roster you have, I have little doubt the dark times are coming. Even though CHIKARA is a land of nice things, we know you don't like them. Something will have to give

Brandon Morrison - Chief of Staff and Forum Attaché to the Grand Chancellor

I actually really want to use Eddie Kingston, so I might be doing an excursion for him like I did Slaughter for MACW. I have Plans for him and my main event scene. I'm REEEAAAALLY heel heavy right now, so I need to fix that balance.

Looks became much, much, much, much less abusable after TEW 2005 (of which this game is), because its exemption from Overness-balancing was removed. In its place, Menace is a usable skill that has the same ability to pop massive ratings that Looks did the first time out.

Anyway, Eagles as a lone wolf is where it's at. They're not flocking birds. KiwEagles existed in the alternate universe, not here.