We can't believe what Hillary is saying. He is the kindest of men. We are immigrants he's always looked after.

Exactly how are you connected?

Oh, don't you know ... we are permanent residents of his once luxurious hair. He picked us up in Eastern Europe -- you know he has a thing for blondes from our part of the world. Well, we have lived through thick and thin, and he has always nourished us.

You mean the anti-immigrant stuff was just to win the primaries with right wing support.

You got it. See, he says now he would let London mayor Sadiq Khan in ...

But he is just one of 1.6 billion ... over a fifth of the world's population, and as varied in culture, customs, even the practice of their religion as the countries they are from ...

You know his wife's from the former Yugoslavia where they were in a civil war ... the Serbs, Croats and Bosnians who were Muslim ...

Then what about Mexicans ...

Yes, yes! And the blacks and women ...

How does he expect to get elected?"

"Crooked Hillary" that's his ticket.

But please bring all this up with him. He gets all red and hot and bothered, and it rushes blood up to his scalp ...