I’m looking at a plastic cage full of cute white mice when I see this:

In case the limitations of Microsoft Paint fail to make it clear, the penis belongs, anatomically, to the mouse. He tries his best to scamper and engage in other sharp-movement activities like his cage-mates but succeeds only in lolling side to side on his gigantic member. I point this creature out to the Boyfriend, expecting a reaction of shock and morbid curiosity. Instead, he snaps, “It’s just a mouse with a big penis. I don’t see what the problem is.”