Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Odds are the 'Next Blog' sucks

Every now and then I give in to the perverse urge to click on the "Next Blog" button Blogger so graciously provides us at the top of our blogs. This random venture into blogdom used to be good for a few moments of diversion. Although it didn't reap you much quality, at least you were exposed to actual bloggers trying to blog. Now, odds are you will bring up some piece of crap, lowlife spam site that uses Blogger's free Web hosting to clog the bandwith with sales pitches. And although I value diversity, I am kind of wondering if anyone in the English speaking world is blogging anymore.

I would love to click on "next blog" and actually be able to read some content, not look at photos of shoes from Hong Kong. Show me the blogs, not the clogs. I want to read about people's lives, not scan endless links of shopping scams.

Okay Blogger, you aren't doing the blog world any favor by not having any criteria for who can have a blog on your server. Why don't you create a certification process for bloggers that separates the blog wheat from the blog chaff? Some of us legitimately have been writing blogs for years and we are obscured by the blog spammers you allow to have Blogger accounts. I'm telling you, what this blog world needs is an enema.

I tried to read the post but for some reason I couldn't consentrate on it. My eyes kept being drawn to the right side of the page. I didn't want to look. I told myself to concentrate, think happy thoughts, maybe it'll go away. It taunts me, daring me to gaze upon it yet again. It burns but I am powerless against it. It burns but I do not want to stop. It burns....

Or, put another way: Cool picture Tim.

Oh and I did manage to read the actual post. Next blog does indeed suck. I've never once found a blog that was any good that way. Although I did find some very nasty pictures of naked people that had me worried for weeks the IT guys would review my internet files and report me for. I don't hit next blog anymore.

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Not only that, you will be cursed eternally and your wangdoodle will fall off at a crucial moment. If you don't have a wangdoodle, you will grow one and it will fall off after you have learned to enjoy having one.

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