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Friday, February 15, 2013

Rob Ryan keeps up family tradition of oversell, under-deliver

Rob Ryan was fired by the Dallas Cowboys after a second consecutive 8-8 season, and after another year of his defense being incapable of holding onto a lead when handed to them. Of course, he considers himself a scapegoat and is (genuinely, I believe) shocked that Jerry Jones gave him the boot, according to Dan Hanzus of ESPN:

“Oh yeah, look, I was a little shocked,” Ryan told ESPNDallas.com after watching a Dallas Mavericks-Golden State Warriors game on Saturday night. “I knew they had to do something after an 8-8 season. They choose me to be the guy, sure.”

Translation: Jerry Jones was looking for a scapegoat and I was his choice.
“Better coaches than me have been fired,” Ryan said. “Just not many.”

Shortly after being fired, while on vacation with his wife, Ryan boasted he would have a job in “five minutes.” Now, we get this }not many coaches better than me” line.

Last week, Ryan was offered the St. Louis Rams job. Apparently, however, Jeff Fisher sobered up just in time to realize what a colossal mistake adding the flamboyant, over-cusser to his staff would be and withdrew the proposal, leaving Ryan still unemployed.
New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton subsequently asked Ryan to take over the defensive duties for his team. So, the Big Mouth heads for the Big Easy for a couple of years, until they figure out that huffing and puffing doesn’t always get the house blown down.

I predict the Ryan banty rooster will crow and crow and then prove the hen, lay another egg, and start looking for another job in a couple seasons.

Ryans have always been like that. They brag and get in your face, promise the moon…and then run to the stat page to try and convince you they actually delivered on that promise.

Buddy Ryan, the yard troll and self-styled mastermind behind the famed Bears’ 46 defense was so annoying while on the Chicago coaching staff that the mild-mannered, easy-going head coach Mike Ditka nearly came to blows with him on several occasions. \

(Yes, my tongue is in my cheek on the Ditka description.)

Buddy took the Ryan Express to Philadelphia, where he put together a team just good enough to never win a playoff game. Of course, that didn’t stop him from telling Jimmy Johnson, the eventual winner of two Super Bowls, that there are no “East Carolinas” in the NFL.

Big mouths, big egos, but not nearly as much of a big deal as they think. That is the Ryan family.

Of course, in the Big Easy, they have heard the wind blow before. Rob Ryan will be as hard-pressed to stand out there as his defenses have been to stand out in the NFL. He will be just another sideshow, selling fortunes and hustling suckers.

Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Let the good times roll.) This is the theme of Mardi Gras and the general attitude of New Orleans.

Le vent souffle, mais pas d’arbres sont en baisse. (The wind is blowing, but no trees are falling.) This is the Ryan family in a nutshell.

(Meanwhile, in New York, the Jets continue to underachieve under Rob’s twin, Rex. In typical Ryan fashion, failure is blamed on everyone else.)

Blow, wind. Blow.

Hurricane Ryan is no threat to anyone. It is just a squall that ends with a whimper and a final gust of defiant wind.