The Cost of Having Kids

05.13.08 | 10 Comments

I am convinced that the cost of raising children in nowhere near what most people say it is. Browsing the internet I stumbled upon a table depicting the cost of raising a child from birth to the time he reaches adulthood in the eyes of the law. The table’s data is a little out dated, it was initially compiled between 1990-1992 and was adjusted to 2001 dollars using the Consumer Price Index, but even using a 2001 purchasing power it still claims that raising kids brings with it a hefty price tag for my family’s income range – $124,800. According to this table, my expenses will grow by an additional $7,000 per year because of the addition to my family that currently grows in the dark, comfy goodness of my wife’s uterus. According to conventional wisdom and modern standards of living I will need to generate an additional income of $580 a month in order to clothe, feed, and provide shelter for the fruit of my loins. People want to tell me that instead of getting a teaming, screaming mass of life and flesh I will be getting a financial sink hole. Pshaw right, and monkey’s might fly out of my butt.

Being pregnant has forced me to come face to face with these numbers that I have always thought were over inflated and a bunch of consumerist nonsense. I have decided it is time to prove the numbers wrong and buck the system of consumption that has our culture viewing parenthood and children as a financial liability. In my effort to make a conquest of parenthood and redeem childhood from the clutches of network advertisers and public television’s gender neutral child programing empire I am going to do what I do best: track every penny that we spend. Take that purple dinosaur man!

From the very beginning of our pregnancy I have counted every single thing that we have made, bought, or has been given to us new in an effort to get a real picture of just what a baby might cost. So far we have spent a total of $29.06. My wife made some pretty cool balls for our baby, the materials were used fabric and pillow stuffing so the cost of these toys is negligible. We bought two packages of baby wipes from Walmart while on sale, the total there was $2.13. The last and final item we bought was a pair of maternity pants that my wife desperately needed as her normal jeans were quickly becoming uncomfortable as the baby expanded its lebensraum. The trip to Target landed us a bill of $26.93.

So over the next six months or so I will be getting the skinny on just how much it will cost to bring a little baby into the world. I will be tracking everything I can possibly think of – from insurance copays to gifted items – to get a true picture of what it costs two kids from middle class families to birth a child in the expensive San Diego. If you are an experienced parent, feel free to mention some of the more interesting things that you have had to spend money on due to raising a child in the comment section below. Even if your not a parent but have a good idea leave a comment too. If you mention it, I will be much more likely to remember to record it when I run across it and that way everyone can benefit from this free and publicly available information.

10 Comments

We will be adding our second in about 5 months…and you have definetly struck a cord with me…Care to share how you will be tracking it? I track all our daily and monthly expenses on a budget spreadsheet, I am thinking creating a separate spreadsheet to do this…although I am already behind since my wife has bought lots of maternity jeans already…

A mere $124,800? As NOTHING! That is a serious underestimate. We spent about that on our son’s college education. We spent around $45,000 on his grade school and high-school education. And a year at a Montessori preschool hereabouts costs as much as a year at our state university’s medical school.

Don’t plan to use private schools? Be sure you live in a decent school district. That means, usually, moving out of the central core of your city and adding many, many miles to your commute. Those miles, at $4-plus per gallon, need to be added to the cost of child-rearing, along with whatever costs are entailed in buying a new house (not just any suburb has good schools; you’ll pay more to get into a first-rate district) and in moving. We chose to stay close to my husband’s job. Because our son was not proficient in the use of knives and clubs, that mean we could not put in him the nearby public school. The trade-off was pricey suburb & endless commute vs. private schools; we chose private schools.

How long do you plan to track the cost of raising the new person? Until age 18? 21? out of college? into a decently paying job? after the divorce from the bum who doesn’t support her or the kids?

Remember, middle-class children never grow up. It’s a new old adage from the baby-boomer generation….

LOL! Seriously: the costs are just phenomenal. You don’t realize how much adds up (mercifully–you’d faint dead away if you did), because, except for college, the costs come in small increments that you can generally afford.

Obviously, if your child is disabled or seriously ill, you’re going to have stratospheric costs. And we all pray no child is born into this sort of challenge.

But…a child who is gifted in one way or another — athletic, for example, or a talented musician, artist, mathematician, whatever — will also rack up special bills in equipment and special training, for travel to competitions and events, for summer camps to cultivate the skill, for extracurricular activities, and for private schools and elite colleges that cater to the bright and the talented.

Yes, you will be amazed at all the $$ you spend on extra curricular activities, music lessons, sports camps and such.

Even if you live in a safe neighborhood (we do) and find the public schools acceptable in your community (we did); your child will most likely make their social and peer links through whatever sport, talent or activity appeals to them.

We did set priorities on that spending, however. We focused our available funds and volunteer time on the after-school activities that she was really, really interested in. If it was something she did “just for fun,” well, then you can guess how much money we cared to put into it.

I too have always thought these numbers were inflated big time. I think the first baby is expensive, but if you have more than one, then the costs are divided among more than one child. For instance, we bought only 1 crib, though we have 4 kids. So bedding for each child up until age 2 was $40 per child. Since that time we have used twin beds that were given to us by family. So we have spent a total of $160 on beds for 4 kids. Raising children does not have to cost a lot of money, but it can.

I don’t think these articles that talk about how much it costs to raise a child take into consideration things like reusing a crib for each child, or hand me down clothing or the fact that we would need a house to live in regardless of how many children we had. We had a house before we ever had kids, having a child did not make us spend more on housing. I have always thought their numbers were skewed too.

On 05.27.08 Caroline said:

You will always find ways to save money on expenses for your child. For example, for a baby shower given by my family I let them know exactly what we needed (Babies r’ Us and Wal-Mart didn’t have gift registries nine years ago!) Your family and friends will want to give you what you really need so make sure to request the necessaries like a bathtub, monitor, ear thermometer, diaper genie, breast pump, etc. Those really close to you, like parents, may give a rocking chair, changing table, crib, car seat or stroller. You’ll always find a way to pay for diapers, wipes, and a few toys and books so don’t put these on your wish list.

I’m a fan of disposable diapers but you can use wet washcloths for wipes. Don’t waste money on a “wipe warmer”. This is a ridiculous item and also a fire hazard. Don’t pre-buy too many wipes, lotions, shampoos, etc. because your child may turn out to be allergic to these. We tried many brands of wipes before we found a mild generic brand that worked. We did use wipes but we often used washcloths.

Breastfeeding! Enough said. Healthy, natural, God’s plan, the best way to have a happy, well-adjusted child. Invest in the book called “The Nursing Mother’s Companion”. If your wife studies it like a textbook before birth she will know exactly what to expect.

Do not buy expensive baby clothes! These are useless, soon outgrown, often uncomfortable and cheaply made. Buy comfortable, cute onesies, socks, and Carter’s pajamas from Wal-Mart.

As far as when your child is school-age, homeschooling is always an option if you are not happy with your local public school.

Yes, there are myriad expenses that come later with school, sports, and activities, but you don’t *have* to spend as much as it may seem. Buy the cheapest portrait package of school pictures. Buy the $40 Little League bat instead of the one that costs $300. Skip Disney World for a more local amusement park or a musuem, instead. Go camping. Use the library. Cut out cable TV (you don’t want that garbage in your child’s head anyway)

Hope some of these are helpful. Congratulations on your new addition!

On 05.28.08 DivaJean said:

The figures quoted are for costs up to 18, not including college.

And as others have said- they are ridiculous. We have 4 kidlets and our family of 6 lives on my one income (a squeek less than $55K). According to National Standards, we are at poverty level. We even qualified for Christmas Bureau gifts last Xmas- not that we sought them out- actually, we DONATED for 20 kids! The truth of it is, we live in a smallish house in a good neighborhood with the best rated city school. My parents and my inlaws are walking distance from our home. We have a large lot (by city standards) where we have a big garden and lots of room for outdoor play. We live by a large city park.

We are not afraid to take 2nd clothes from friends- and over time we have developed a large circle of friends willing to share and recycle clothes. Often times, when seasons change, kids might need a pair of sneakers and underwear to size up their wardrobes- and little else.

We are not afraid to buy secondhand furniture for their rooms- or for any room of our house for that matter. We also have garbage picked (we live in a university type neighborhood- plenty of furniture free by the curb every May/June).

We limit kids to one or two afterschool activities at a time. My eldest daughter is currently in Brownies and playing softball. My son plays t-ball and has a Saturday morning soccer league. Thats all.

We teach our kids to have some level responsibility to their wants. My eldest daughter loves summer church camp and wanted to go for 2 weeks instead of one this year. Our church offers grants- we encouraged her to apply for a grant to pay for the second week- she had to write her application (with some help from us) and present herself to the board for the money to pay for the 2nd week. She was awarded the money- and will be expected to discuss her camping experience with her Sunday School friends. She also wanted to go to Girl Scout camp for a 5 night stay- our combined cookie sales got her trip for free. My eldest son is not yet ready for sleepaway camp- but he expressed interest in a summer program thru the schools for dancing– so this will be his summer fun.

I grew up in a household that did childcare for several years. Parents brought many, many things for their children to use during their 10+ hours a day with us. The only things we ever used were car seats, a very old double stroller, diapers, wipes, extra clothing, bottles and formula. I wouldn’t underestimate the value of a strong adult/older sibling presence in your child’s life. I believe that our children would have been fine (and much happier) without extracurriculars, preschools or private schools. We taught the children to sing and draw at two, to tie their shoes at three and to read at four. By the time they entered kindergarten, they could articulate a story, throw, catch, kick and dribble a ball, use scissors and glue, count to 100 while jumping on a trampoline, name at least a dozen bugs and plants, write out the alphabet in capital and lowercase letters and more.

And all of these things happened naturally. If you’re a good communicator, if you nurture a secure, wholesome environment and if you, yourself, have a healthy love of learning, you’ll save yourself from the cost and worry of moving to a better school district, of procuring the best preschool, summer camps and extracurriculars. Often, these things just made our children either weepy and lethargic or overstimulated and accident prone. Their parents made more friends through these things than they did.