->''"WE ARE HEAVY METAL PIRATES!\\WE SAIL ACROSS THE SKY!\\WITH OUR BATTLESHIPS OF COSMIC STEEL!\\WE'RE A TERROR UP ON HIGH!"''-->-- "Heavy Metal Pirates", the band's first song and self-description.

Alestorm is a power/folk metal band from Scotland and their main gimmick is the pirate theme of their music. Arr!

Formed in 2004 under the name Battleheart, they released a bunch of [=EPs=] (The first of which, ''Battleheart'', gave rise to the term 'True Scottish Pirate Metal, parodying the term 'True Norwegian BlackMetal') before signing themselves to Napalm Records and rechristening themselves Alestorm.

From there, their popularity increased rapidly and has stayed relatively consistent and they tour very regularly, despite them being a RevolvingDoorBand who now live in different countries to each other.[[hardline]]

As Battleheart, they've released two [=EPs=], ''[[SelfTitledAlbum Battleheart]]'' and ''Terror on the High Seas''.

As Alestorm, they've released one [=EP=] and five studio albums:* ''Captain Morgan's Revenge'' in 2008* ''Leviathan'' ([=EP=], also in 2008)* ''Black Sails at Midnight'' in 2009* ''Back Through Time'' in 2011* ''Sunset on the Golden Age'' in 2014* ''No Grave but the Sea'' in 2017.----!! The band and their music contain examples of:

* AlienInvasion: "Surf Squid Warfare" is about a invasion of space squids, which the pirates have to travel to the future to battle.* AnArmAndALeg: "Midget Saw" (which is about a group of pirates who saw a man's legs off after he kills a monkey) and "Wooden Leg" (about a man who loses his legs to a pair of Spanish broadsides, and then loses his arms to a {{Samurai}} in a BarBrawl).* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: From "Keelhauled":-->''Take his money ''and his hat'',\\He won't need them where he's gonna go...''** And done again in "Rage of the Pentahook":-->''He fights to die,\\He lives to kill,\\To cut your throat,\\His greatest skill,\\He'll eat your kids,\\And punch your house.''** and-->''He'll break your neck,\\And eat your face,\\The foe of all the human race,\\He'll stab your mum,\\And drink your rum.''* AssShove: What the singer in ''Fucked With An Anchor'' is planning to do to the witch doctor who cursed him. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin With an anchor]].* AudienceParticipationSong: Plenty of their songs have this at the chorus, even on the records!* BadassBeard: [[http://www.spirit-of-metal.com/membre_groupe/photo/Dani_Evans-14620.jpg Dani Evans]], Christopher Bowes, the zombie pirate that appears on all of their CD covers all have one. * BadassBoast: Many of them feature this, but perhaps the most memorable is ''Back Through Time'', specially the chorus:-->''"You put your faith in Odin and Thor, we put ours in cannons and whores! Your Viking gods won't save you now, when the pirates strike from the starboard bow!''"* BadGuyBar: The Sunk'n Norwegian.* BraggingThemeTune: "Heavy Metal Pirates."* BraveScot: Christopher Bowes' heavy Scottish accent does give this feeling to most songs. * CallBack: "Huntmaster" is about a famous man on a quest to "bring back beer to the lands of the free". In "That Famous Ol' Spiced", the titular drink is touted as "a beverage to rival the Huntmaster's draft".** The entire second verse of "Drink" references several songs from previous albums.* ClusterFBomb: "Fucked With an Anchor" is an entire song that consists of a pirate with HollywoodTourettes threatening to [[AssShove shove an anchor up the arse]] of the Witch Doctor that cursed him. The chorus of the song provides a good example, shown under LyricalDissonance.-->''Now when I speak, it's rather absurd\\An endless tirade of four-letter words\\I lash out in anger at all in my way\\Shocking unspeakable things that I say!''* CombatPragmatist: "Back Through Time" features 17th century pirates deploying ''cannons'' against Vikings. CurbStompBattle ensues. * CoolVersusAwesome: No one is safe from pirates, including vikings, ninjas, alien squids and sea monsters.* CoverVersion: Many. "[[Series/SesameStreet P is for Pirate]]" is one with slightly modified lyrics (it is now pirate-themed instead of cookie-themed). "[[Series/LazyTown You Are a Pirate]]," "[[Music/StanRogers Barrett's Privateers]]," and "Wolves of the Sea" are the most famous of their covers. They also did a version of "[[Music/TheVillagePeople In the Navy]]." Suffice to say, if there's a nautical-themed song, a nautical-themed children's song, or a children's song that can be [[BuffySPeak piratified]], Alestorm stands a good chance of covering it, often hilariously. There is also their version of "I Am A Cider Drinker", originally by [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wurzels the Wurzels]] (which was itself a parody of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Baker_%28musician%29 George Baker's]] "Paloma Blanca").** ''Sunset on the Golden Age'' features a cover of Taio Cruz's "Hangover".* {{Curse}}: Shows up a few times in their songs.** ''Captain Morgan's Revenge'', Captain Morgan, forced to walk the plank, curses his mutinous crew to "death or worse".** The curse on the treasure in ''Of Treasure'' as well. We're not told explicitly what it is, but apparently it's quite terrible.** The pirate singing in ''Fucked With an Anchor'' has been cursed with HollywoodTourettes by a witch doctor.* CurbStompBattle: The pirates of "Back Through Time" are gleefully aware of the overkill involved in using 17th century firepower against 10th century Vikings.** The first and only raid of the titular crew of "[[Music/StanRogers Barrett's Privateers]]" goes this route.* DarkerAndEdgier: Their second album is noticeably heavier and more aggresive than their first, and the third follows suit.* {{Deconstruction}}: While they do sing about the joys and adventures of piracy, Pirate's Song is a rather deconstruction of the whole romantic pirate, showing the singing protagonist as a ruthless monster who lost all his glory in his old age. * DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: The first verse of ''Mexico''.--> The wenches they are plenty, the alcohol is free--> The party lasts all through the night, and the alcohol is free* {{Determinator}}: Some characters in songs, like the Huntmaster and the narrator in ''Chronicles of Vengeance''.* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: ''Leviathan'' sets up for this in its sequel, ''Death Throes of the Terrorsquid''. * DisproportionateRetribution: "Midget Saw"', wherein a pirate gets his legs sawed off for the crime of killing a monkey. It must have been one awesome little primate. * DownerEnding: A sizeable number of their songs talk about people who go on quests but end up dying brutally along the way. Such as: ''Death Before the Mast'', ''Magnetic North'', ''To The End Of Our Days'', ''Leviathan'' and so forth.* EndOfAnAge: The song ''Sunset On The Golden Age'' which is about facing the end of a golden age. It's a tad vague what age they're refering to, but it can be interpreted as the end of the Golden Age of Piracy. The lyrics do leave the implication that another golden age may come in the future. -->''The sun has set, now night is falling-->Never again to hear the calling-->[[TitleDrop The sun has set upon the golden age]]!'' * EscapedFromHell: The Huntmaster. "Out of the bowels of hell he sailed/ Wielding a tankard of freshly brewed ale!"* FaceDeathWithDignity: The pirate crew in "Captain Morgan's Revenge".-->At sunrise we will dance the hempen jig / So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig! / The curse of Captain Morgan has led us to this fate / So have no fear and don't look back, the afterlife awaits!* FolkMetal: Their primary musical style, combined with a heavy amount of PowerMetal.** From ''Sunset On The Golden Age'' they started incorporating elements of Metalcore into their sound, as well as occasional bits of Chiptune.* {{Gorn}}: The lyrics to "Midget Saw":-->''Midget Saw, a deadly fate\\Chopped up limbs become shark bait\\Midget Saw, the pirate's code\\It says that both your legs must go\\Hacked to pieces\\Ripped to shreds\\You're gonna wish that you were dead!''* GutturalGrowler: The singing style of Christopher Bowes.* GrandmaWhatMassiveHotnessYouHave: Mentioned in ''Nancy The Tavern Wench'', "She may be old/but her beauty ain't failin'."* GrimUpNorth: ''Magnetic North'' is about a Pirate crew questing to "Magnetic North" and subsequently facing a frozen sea, and probably dying along the way. * HeavyMithril: Lyrically, Alestorm are typically more grounded than the average PowerMetal band...but when they go for the mithril, they go ''hard'' for the mithril.* HeelFaceTurn: Implied at the end of the music video for "Drink" where one of the pirates (Chirstopher Bowes) is shown wearing a suit and having dinner with the very family they'd terrorized earlier.* HollywoodTourettes: The pirate in "Fucked with an Anchor" has been cursed to be incredibly foul-mouthed by a witch doctor.* HookHand: The main zombie pirate on the cover of "Black Sails At Midnight" has a trident replacing one hand, He also has a sword but you can't see if he's holding it or if it's a BladeBelowTheShoulder.** ''Wolves of the Sea'' contains the lyrics "The hook of our Captain is looking at you"** ''Rage of the Pentahook''. The Pentahook has five hooks. Just on his right hand. * HookersAndBlow: "Wenches and Mead"* HorribleHistoryMetal: They ventured in this genre with "1741 (The Battle of Cartagenea)", about the battle [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cartagena_de_Indias of the same name]]. * InsaneAdmiral: Or Captain, but with the same purpose. In ''1741 (The Battle of Cartagenea)'', the Captain sails against the Spanish despite overwhelming evidence that he's going to lose, and so he dooms himself and his crew to a LastStand. * IntercourseWithYou: "Questing Upon The Poop Deck" is most [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial certainly not about]] a type of sexual activity. * LargeHam: Christopher Bowes definitely qualifies.* LittlePeopleAreSurreal: A midget shows up in "Shipwrecked", [[spoiler: in a hallucination]].* LyricalDissonance: ''Fucked With An Anchor'' opens with an very upbeat tune... and these lyrics:-->''Fuck! You! You're a fucking wanker\\We're gonna punch you right in the balls\\Fuck! You! With a fucking anchor\\You're all cunts so fuck you all''* MetalBandMascot: Two: A zombie-ish pirate and a pirate rat, who appear in all three covers. According to [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Christopher Bowes]], they're called Jimmy [=McFucknugget=] and Barry Shitpeas respectively.** GhostPirate: Jimmy.** HookHand: Jimmy again, except for "Black Sails at Midnight" where he has a trident.* MemeAcknowledgment: The Limited Edition version of Back Through Time includes a cover of [[Series/LazyTown You Are a Pirate]].* MetalScream: Elliot is very good at them.* MissionFromGod: The Huntmaster's is "To bring back beer to the land of the free, this is his quest, his true destiny!" * MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: Generally 7 or 8, with "Death Throes of the Terrorsquid" ratcheting up to an easy 9.* MoodWhiplash: Present in ''Black Sails At Midnight'', where from the blood-pumping and bombastic ''Keelhauled'' we go to the somber and depressive ''To The End Of Our Days''. Also in ''Sunset On The Golden Age'', after the silly and ridiculous cover of ''Hangover'' the album goes to the title track, which is ''eleven minutes long'' and one of the few grim and serious Alestorm songs. * TheMutiny: Kicks off "Captain Morgan's Revenge." When the pirates make the captain walk the plank, he pronounces a dying {{curse}} upon them all.* TheNeedForMead: ''Wenches and Mead''. Also ''Mead From Hell''. * OdeToIntoxication: "Rum", and the cover song "I Am A Cider Drinker", ''Drink''. * OneManArmy: The Huntmaster vanquishes a considerable number of people single-handedly. * OnceUponATime: "In a time men knew the meaning of fear!" the opening lines of "Huntmaster". * OutOfGenreExperience: When the titular monster awakens, ''Death Throes of the Terrorsquid'' abruptly becomes a Dimmu Borgir song. Their cover of ''Hangover'' also features a brief rapping portion by the bassist of Lagerstein, tourmates with Alestorm.* APirate400YearsTooLate* TheQuest: Lots of these, including a track by the same name.* RedemptionEqualsDeath: The protagonists of ''Magnetic North'' mention to be seeking redemption in the titular location, but the song frequently notes they'll most certainly die along the way.* RedemptionQuest: ''Magnetic North'' is a minor example. * RetiredMonster: The narrator of ''Pirate Song''.* RevolvingDoorBand: You don't even know the half of it... the revolving door nature of the band's lineup is possibly a very big reason as to why the band have noticeably changed musically over the years.* RockBeatsLaser: 17th Century pirates halt an alien invasion of space squids in ''Surf Squid Warfare''.* SeaMonster: [[KrakenAndLeviathan Leviathan]], [[GiantSquid the Terrorsquid]].* SequelSong: "Death Throes of the Terrorsquid" is a sequel to "Leviathan", as both songs feature a beast called "Leviathan" and follow some sort of chronology. "Leviathan" has the pirate crew hunt down an ancient beast of yore to battle it, but lose the battle and the beast escapes after slaughtering most of the crew. "Death Throes of the Terrorsquid" concerns the Crew's RoaringRampageOfRevenge against the beast, and the second round of the battle.** "Surf Squid Warfare" is a sequel to "Back Through Time", where the pirates travel into the future to fight [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot undead squids from space]].* ShoutOut: ** Several, including a brief retread of the theme from ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' in "No Quarter", the use of [[Literature/TreasureIsland "with a bottle of rum and a yo-ho-ho"]] in "Keelhauled" and the theme tune to ''Series/{{Chucklevision}}'' in "Buckfast Powersmash". ** They also reference Music/RunningWild in "Scraping the Barrel".-->You may think you've heard all this music before,\\That Running Wild did it back in '84\\But times are a-changing and we don't give a damn!\\So if you don't like it, go start your own band!** One of the band's two mascots, the pirate rat Barry Shitpeas, shares a name with a character from Creator/CharlieBrooker's works.** In the music video for [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th4Czv1j3F8 Fucked with An Anchor]] Gareth can be seen playing a bass with Music/{{Prince}}'s logo on it.* SingingVoiceDissonance: Bowes' natural voice is much softer than his guttural harsh tone in the songs.* SkyPirates: "Heavy Metal Pirates" seems to be about them ("We're the Heavy Metal Pirates, we sail across the sky!")* SlasherSmile: [[MetalBandMascot Jimmy]] cracks one of these at the covers of "Black Sails At Midnight", "Back Through Time" and the "Leviathan" solo cover.* StepUpToTheMicrophone: For the last chorus of ''Rum'', Elliot Vernon sings the lead vocals as well as handling the main keyboards while Bowes crowdsurfs (and usually tells the audience to "take him to the bar").* SuddenNameChange: The bands undead rat mascot seems to be called Barry Shitpeas or Scurvy Steeve, depending on who you ask.* TakeThat: ** ''Swashbuckled'' is a playful repartee at Alestorm's friends, fellow pirate band Swashbuckle, in response to the latter's ''We Are The Storm''.*** ''Scraping the Barrel'', off of Back Through Time, is a response to some of the band's criticism as being a "gimmicky band" that will eventually become dry. Their response? "If you don't like it, go start your own band."** The song "Back Through Time", concerning a ship of pirates that travel through time and wind up fighting and defeating a ship of vikings, is clearly mocking the many bands that sing about vikings and Myth/NorseMythology.-->You put your faith in Odin and Thor-->We put ours in cannons and whores-->Your viking gods won't save you now-->When pirates strike from the starboard bow** The 7-second long "Rumpelkombo" is this. Once, Alestorm was touring with GraveDigger, and they were basically the opposite of Alestorm: old, cranky, and hated drinking and partying, so the entire tour pretty much consisted of GraveDigger hating Alestorm. During an interview, the lead singer, Chris Boltendahl described Alestorm as a "rumpelkombo," which basically means "group of rowdy idiots." Well, Christopher Bowes then decided to write the really quick song where the only word is "rumpelkombo," but then credited the lyrics to Boltendahl, thus giving him a royalty check every month that's a couple of cents from Alestorm, reminding him of them every month.* TalkLikeAPirate* TookALevelInBadass: "Leviathan" and "Death Throes of the Terrorsquid" concern the same crew. In the first the monster slaughters them with impunity, but in the second [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu the crew takes revenge]]. The chorus makes it clear: The chorus in the first song is about the beast's fearsome slaughter, the chorus in the second is the crew's BadassBoast.* UnreliableNarrator: Interestingly enough, we're never told exactly why the perpetrator is being keelhauled in ''Keelhauled.'' We pretty much just have the narrator's word for it that he did something bad.--> I will not say what he has done--> His sins are far too great to tell--> It's not my place to judge a man--> But for them he will burn in Hell** The video seems to imply that he [[{{DisproportionateRetribution}} stole some of the captain's money...]]* VerbedTitle: ''Keelhauled'', ''Shipwrecked''.* VictoriasSecretCompartment: In the video for "Shipwrecked", several of the wenches are shown secreting coins in their cleavage.* ViewersAreGeniuses: "The Huntmaster" ends by quoting the English translation of the poem inscribed on bottles of Jägermeister, which itself is the German word for "Huntmaster".* VillainProtagonist: The songs are aware they are talking about a bunch of selfish, petty and murderous thieves. The clearest example is "Pirate's Song", which describes a RetiredMonster of a pirate elaborating on his numerous crimes and how he doesn't feel an ounce of remorse.* WalkThePlank: In ''Captain Morgan's Revenge'' and ''Keelhauled'', in the latter case as a pretext to something [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keelhauling far worse]]. In ''Sunset On The Golden Age'' they now have a track ''named'' "Walk the Plank". * WouldHurtAChild: One of the verses of ''Pirate's Song'' is "I've killed and I've shot, and reddened the cold tears of children with blood!", driving home just how much of a RetiredMonster our protagonist is. * WretchedHive: A lot of these tend to show up in the songs, such as the cafe in ''Nancy the Tavern Wench'' and the inn where ''That Famous Ol' Spiced'' is apparently served, not to mention the titular tavern known as ''The Sunken Norwegian.''* YouDirtyRat: One of the bands mascots is a undead rat.----