BY pAULAb

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I Skipped The Light Fantango

And so it was that later I fell asleep, watching god knows what, only waking at midnight. Even then I didn’t bother to turn off the light, or close the door. I just rolled over and had me some more – sleep.

And I wasn’t even drunk. I was content. And tired apparently.

I awoke again at 3am. But I was like, no way Jose, not this time. So I tossed and turned and finally I guess slipped off into neverland, as I didn’t awake again until 6:45am. WHEW. WOW.

And what brought about this? A visit from MsRea. Funny how happy friendship, old friends especially, how they can bring one such a sense of satisfaction. Peace even. A letting down of some of the burden, once it is shared.

Plus, spring is in the air. The scent of regeneration, rejuvenation oozing from everything. Hard not to pick some of that vibe up.

Out of the dreary doldrums of winter, and its line of grey, I am in need of more blue tree-lined skies, more visits with friends. Please.

Couldn’t begin to tell you why that song is in my head though – “A Whiter Shade Of Pale”, by Procol Harum.

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale
She said, ‘There is no reason
And the truth is plain to see.’
But I wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well’ve been closed

Guess it just reminds me of a time, a place. An innocent time. A future ahead, a road of unknown paths to still transverse.

Here we are now, after seen close up some of those pathways were steep and treacherous, and life-altering in their wounds inflicted.

Yet, we lived through.

I gave her some of your sage advice, on choices and instinct. Of how to just go with your gut, and be damned the naysayers. Be damned the well-meaning, and get on with it. If you love them, and if they KNOW that, everything else is fixable.

We are all broken. None of us get out unscathed.

So we talked and walked around the block. And today my work week begins anew.

Thank god so much has changed over the last year. And, thank god for the things that have remained. The constants that I have come to, if not rely on, certainly cherish.

Buried within that song is this layered onion of meaning we often seek. Yet, why we seek it at all is due to the beauty of the words themselves. We crave more. When perhaps it’s best to just love the lyric, and not look for more. Sometimes things just are.

I told her how I have been sad of late. Some of the winter weary sadness, but also of a saying goodbye to preconceived notions, ideals maybe, that no longer make any sense.

We move on, we outgrow even, some of those old notions we had about our life. Where we should be, and who we should be with. Or, if we should be with anyone at all. Or, maybe it’s more of the HOW that has changed.

I know, I’m probably not making alot of sense. But you should see it on the inside.

We also talked about how it is best to just ride the wave that comes, then to try to control the waves themselves; since that’s impossible for mere mortals. But we’re stubborn sometimes.