Sunday, October 31, 2010

Grayson Wyrembek: Father and Son Reunion - Home at Last!!

3-year-old returned to biological father

TOLEDO, OH (WAVE) - It was a heart wrenching day for a Southern Indiana family entangled in an adoption battle.

The Vaughn family has been fighting to keep a three-year-old boy they tried to adopt. On Saturday, they had to hand him over to his biological father, Benjamin Wyrembek.

Ed Vaughn, who considers Grayson his grandson, told WAVE 3, Christy and Jason Vaughn were in Ohio and turned Grayson over to Wyrembek.

Ed says it was traumatic for the Vaughn's to let go of Grayson who they've been raising since birth. Wyrembek, had an affair with Grayson's mother, who was married to someone else at the time. Wyrembek asked for a paternity test soon after the baby's birth, but the Vaughns' adoption was already in the works.

Wyrembek filed a lawsuit Friday against the Ohio adoption firm that handled the case...claiming negligence.

An Ohio Supreme Court ruled against the Vaughn's forcing them to hand Grayson over.

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As I read this story, I cannot help my mind from flashing back to the case of David Goldman of New Jersey.

The case involved a five-year international custody battle between the U.S. Congress and Brazil, where Goldman's wife, mother of the child in question, Bruna Bianchi, took the child to her native Brazil in 2004. There, she divorced Goldman and eventually married a Rio de Janeiro lawyer. After she died giving birth to a daughter in 2008, the abduction case started getting attention around the world.

Goldman traveled repeatedly to Brazil to visit his son. But he did not get to see the boy until U.S. Rep. Chris Smith, a Republican from New Jersey, began accompanying him last year.

POINT is that the whole country was on the side of the natural father of this boy. Everyone rooted for HIM! They cheered when he finally got his son back! No one in this country had one ounce of sympathy for the Brazilian grandparents (though in Brazil it was quite the opposite). Here, there was unanimous agreement that the boy belonged with his father.

Why is any less clear cut when the word adoption enters the equation? If anything, it should be more clear. In a case like the Vaughns versus a natural father, you have non-related STRANGERS fighting a father for his child! There is no relationship or natural right as grandparents have.

So what is it about the word adoption that carries with it such strong judgmental overtones and negative stereotypes? Even in a case such as this where the father never agreed to any adoption - yet he was vilified - and the potential adopters adored by all!

As we enter into the month of November - the month of extreme adoration of adoption - we need to pres shard on all of our blogs and via letters to the editors of our local newspapers to demystify adoption. Speak truth to power!

Ed Vaughn may think of himself as Grayson's grandfather but he is no mor that child's relative than is any babysitter or neighbor. he has no biological or legal right and neither do any of the Vaughns. They were vultures from the start - in the delivery room - grabbing a child away while expecting their second natural child themselves. They knew from the tart that Benjamin was fighting to prove paternity and once porvcen sough the return of his son, yet they fought him tooth and nail. The held Grayson captive like kidnappers!

And the press played into their pleas for sympathy. See this video packed with LIES! Reporters incorrectly claim the Vaughns were trying to get a transition plan into effect! LIE! They refused the mediators suggestions for transition.

The media pushes all the buttons, tears...and saying "it's... every adoptive parets nightmare" when they are NOT adoptive parents! And did they say it 2 times or 3 that he is being taken from "the only family he has ever known"?

Does that matter when a child is kidnapped?

Yet, even Jason Vaughn admits that Ben was involved from day one!! I am just glad the Vaughns didn't make a medic spectacle of the hand overas others in there position have.

4 comments:

Anonymous
said...

just because you share the same dna doesn't make you a "parent", let alone a "fit parent."

i certainly don't know the biological father nor enought about the case to root for or demonize him. however, one wonders why the petition for paternity was filed after the birth, and if he was so interested in being a father, did he not have 9 months to become involved? i know that it was a sticky situation due to the extramarital affair, so one wonders how much communication (if any) there was between him and the birthmother that kept him in the loop that a) she was pregnant, b) when the due date was, or c) that the baby might be his.

while it's seemingly easy to demonize him and look only at his criminal record and questionble morals (for the affair), as a parent myself, i cannot imagine what either side feeling the anguish and loss that they must feel. i hope that he truly does love his son and want to be a father - and always strive to be the best father he can be.

I celebrate any child being returned to the legal and biological family - just as the whole nation celebrated the return of David Goldman's son or Jaycee any other kidnap victim being held ILLEGALLY by captors!

The fact that these people wanted to adopt the child does not make them any less criminal and immoral in their actions to violate court order after court order and keep a child from a father who loved him enough to fight for him for THREE YEARS!

You are right! Grayson is having a very hard time right now because the Vaughns kept him so long.

And let me ask you: Why is it no one is concerned about children being removed from the only family they've ever known when a family has children removed by social services because they are in poverty?

Why no tears shed for children like the one in the film Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2010/10/wo-ai-ni-i-love-you-mommy.html who was taken from her family at eight years of age, and from her language and culture.

Funny how when the taken from and to is "to adoption" it's all fine and dandy! The best interest of the child are assumed to be adoption and no thought given to all they lose.

I feel sorry for Grayson, this should never have happened. The vaughns should have let go as soon as ben appeared and proved paternity. I feel sorry for the Vaughns other children. They hurt all of them with their stubborn selfishness to keep a child from a caring parent. Shame on them. I am sorry for their other kids but glad they have to deal with that part of the mess THEY created!

And the Vaughns have Grayson in all their family photos...their kids can never forget as Grayson will.

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World Hunger

"Open adoption and open records are important byways. But they are not the most compelling route. Family preservation is."Dr. Randolph Severson, The Soul of Family Preservation

“Regrettably, in many cases, the emphasis has changed from the desire to provide a needy child with a home, to that of providing a needy parent with a child. As a result, a whole industry has grown, generating millions of dollars of revenues each year . . .”The Special Rapporteur, United Nations, Commission on Human Rights, 2003.

As defined by International law/UNCRC and the Hague Convention, International law says that Family Preservation should come first, domestic adoption second, and international adoption as a last resort. What we have today is the complete opposite where international adoption is used as the go to solution in separating children from their biological families.

"Over the past 30 years, the number of families from wealthy countries wanting to adopt children from other countries has grown substantially. At the same time, lack of regulation and oversight, particularly in the countries of origin, coupled with the potential for financial gain, has spurred the growth of an industry around adoption, where profit, rather than the best interests of children, takes centre stage. Abuses include the sale and abduction of children, coercion of parents, and bribery."

UNICEF's position on Inter-country adoption.

"...overseas adoption is a kind of child abuse by the state. ....Overseas adoption is the forced expulsion of children from the society where they are supposed to live. In this sense, overseas adoption is a social violence against children. As humans, we exist as part of a gigantic ecosystem. The existence of the biological parents of adoptees can never be annihilated nor denied."Overseas adoption is a forced separation of children from their natural ecosystems, as well as a way of forcing them into compulsory unity with settings different from and unnatural to their genetic and original social systems. Through this forced separation and compulsory unity, not only the adoptees, but also their biological parents, adoptive parents and their family members suffer trauma."Pastor Kim Do-hyun, director of KoRoot

According to the United Nations, children separated from their parents during war or natural disasters should not be adopted. “Even if both their parents are dead,” reads UNICEF’s statement on intercountry adoption, “the chances of finding living relatives, a community and home to return to after the conflict subsides exist. Thus, such children should not be considered for intercountry adoption.” Sept. 9, 2013 (The Daily Star :: Lebanon News :: http://www.dailystar.com.lb)

"To focus on these children without focusing on their families or communities thus becomes an ignoble hypocrisy; as if to say, 'give us your huddled masses–but only if they are cute children and can be indoctrinated from an early age'.” Daniel Ibn Zayd

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Mirah Riben

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Family Preservation

See Also"What is Family Preservation""Children have rights. These rights are laid down essentially in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and in the Hague Convention on the Protection of Children.

"Children and their biological parents have a right to respect for their family life."Adoption: at what cost? 2007 Terre des hommes – child relief, Lausanne, Switzerland

"Every child has the right to know and be cared for by his or her own parents, whenever possible. UNICEF believes that families needing support to care for their children should receive it."UNICEF

The Uniform Adoption Act calls for the protection of "minor children against unnecessary separation from their birth parents."

“Regrettably, in many cases, the emphasis has changed from the desire to provide a needy child with a home, to that of providing a needy parent with a child. As a result, a whole industry has grown, generating millions of dollars of revenues each year . . .” United Nations, Commission on Human Rights, 2003.

"If ... the best interests of the child is to be the determining factor in child custody cases ... persons seeking babies to adopt might profitably frequent grocery stores and snatch babies from carts when the parent is looking the other way. Then, if custody proceedings can be delayed long enough, they can assert that they have a nicer home, a superior education, a better job or whatever, and that the best interests of the child are with the baby snatchers. Children of parents living in public housing or other conditions deemed less affluent and children of single parents might be considered particularly fair game." -- Justice James Heiple, Illinois Supreme Court in the "Baby Richard" case.

Article 7, U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child"The child shall be registered immediately after birth and shall have the right from birth to a name, the right to acquire a nationality and. as far as possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents."

Article 8"Where a child is illegally deprived of some or all of the elements of his or her identity, States Parties shall provide appropriate assistance and protection, with a view to re-establishing speedily his or her identity."

Article 9"States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child's best interests."-------------------------------------------------------------------------On December 10, 1948 the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html).They include:• Article 12. - No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, FAMILY, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.• Article 16(3) - The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.• Article 25(1) - Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.