London 14th July 2011 – Beloved Malaysian Prime Minister collapsed and had to be rushed to a nearby hospital for immediate treatment shortly after his meeting with Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace.

The Malaysian Prime Minister arrived at Buckingham Palace at about noon on Thursday.

A palace official said that he noticed the Malaysian Prime Minister looking very anxious when Queen Elizabeth II arrived in a yellow dress, to greet him and his wife.

As the Malaysian Prime Minister was shaking the Queen’s hand, he became dizzy and collapsed soon afterwards.

An emergency team was rushed to his aid and he was soon sent off to the nearest public hospital.

Dr. Ambika Sreenivasam, the physician who attended to the beloved Malaysian Prime Minister, said that he suffers from Xanthophobia.

“From the test we have done, it is confirmed that he suffers from Xanthophobia. Otherwise, he has a clean bill of health or ‘bersih’ as you would say in Malay,” she said smiling.

The beloved Malaysian Prime Minister was asked to leave the hospital soon after.

New York, 4th July – The news of a possible revocation of the sexual assault charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn, that emerged a couple of days earlier, came as a shocker to the world community.

Following the news, mass suicides were reported in Guinea followed by the mass exodus of wild animals.

The weather pattern also saw a mysterious and dramatic shift with the Level 5 Hurricane Rosmih, which has been making headlines around the world for the past week, and expected to make landfall in Papua New Guinea, suddenly disappearing.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who was the former IMF chief, was arrested in New York in May this year, after a chamber-maid at his suite in Hotel Sofitel lodged a police report accusing him of sexually assaulting her while she was cleaning his room.

Strauss-Kahn Looking More Suspect Than Harrison Ford in the movie Fugitive

The 32-year-old woman alleged that Mr. Strauss-Kahn had emerged from the bathroom naked and sexually assaulted her. After he came, she broke free and escaped the room and told hotel staff what had happened, who then called the police.

Subsequent to his arrest, Mr. Strauss-Kahn resigned his position as the Chief of IMF and his hopes of securing the highest office in France and consolidating his political career, was dealt a major blow.

But all that changed, when a couple of days earlier, serious flaws were noted in the allegations and statements made by the maid. In addition to this, the credibility of the victim was also in question.

With these serious draw-backs in the prosecution’s case, it is highly likely that all charges against Mr. Strauss-Kahn could be dropped. Mr. Strauss-Kahn has since been released from house arrest.

Several weeks prior to this sudden reversal in the case, a Malaysian team, believed to be lead by Datuk Rice Latim, the highly intelligent and cultured Malaysian Minister and Datuk Jalala Jajis, the Malaysian Ambassador to the US, was seen frequenting the TriBeCa residence of Mr. Strauss-Kahn in New York.

An official from the Malaysian Prime Minister’s office, who wants to remain anonymous, confirmed that a highly qualified team of experts was sent to New York to assist with a high profile case at the behest of the beloved Prime Minister.

The official also said that a very important French person from New York had enlisted the help of the Malaysian Prime Minister to assist with his case, since Malaysian politicians are known world-wide to posses’ high expertise and use uncanny tactics in coming out unscathed from sexual scandals and still hold high public office.

The official also confirmed that Datuk Jalala Jajis and Datuk Rice Latim were tasked with heading this mission. Both these individuals have wide exposure, expertise and first-hand experience in dealing with such matters. In addition to this, they specialize in hospitality industry workers.

Datuk Chui Soiled Egg was also considered but dropped at the last minute because his method of admit-first-and-then-make-a-come-back was highly risky and could back-fire.

According to the official, the Prime Minister also considered heading this mission himself but withdrew because his ‘shock and awe’ method was highly destructive and may not go down well with the Americans and Guineans. He said he will propose his method as a last resort if all others fail.

The official said that in return, this very important French person promised to channel funds for the coming general election campaign and also assist with a certain submarine purchase. He did not elaborate further.

Kuala Lumpur, 28th June 2011 – Last Wednesday, the beloved Prime Minister of Malaysia, Datuk Seri Nabij Razik launched the first of many 1Malaysia Kedai Rakyat or The People’s Store in the country.

He mentioned that the launch of the store showed that the 1Malaysia concept is not just a slogan but it took care of the essential needs of Malaysians. He said he was always concerned for the people since they find it hard to survive in Malaysia.

By having such stores around the country, the government can ensure that the people have access to the essential items which are vital for their survival in Malaysia.

Malaysians Gathered Early To Shop At The 1Malaysia Store

Malaysians all over the country were overjoyed upon hearing news of the 1Malaysia store. The night before the launch, a large crowd had gathered and camped outside the first 1Malaysia store at Kelana Jaya. They had gathered early to grab the essential survival items being sold.

Shoppers at the store were all given a free door gift which was a pin-poster of the beloved Malaysian Prime Minister. Most shoppers, in their frenzy to shop, simply skipped the door gift or just threw it away.

Apart from rice, sugar, eggs and other basic groceries, the store’s also offers essential survival items that will guarantee the well being of Malaysians in present day Malaysia.

The much anticipated item among Malaysians is the Bersih 2.0 detergent. Although doubtful the item will be sold at the 1Malaysia store, Malaysians harbored a glimmer of hope. Bersih 2.0 detergent is considered the most essential item by Malaysians from a poll that was conducted recently.

But their doubts were confirmed subsequent to the launch when shoppers found that the Bersih 2.0 detergent is not sold at

The Pin-Up Poster of the Beloved Malaysian Prime Minister

the 1Malaysia store. When en-quired, a store personnel just shrugged his shoulder and said ta tau (dunno).

Nevertheless, the 1Malaysia store offers many other essential survival items specially selected by the Malaysian government for Malaysians. These items are deemed essential for the well-being of Malaysians.

Among the many items is the miniature or spy cameras and its detectors.

“The government not only takes care of well-being of Malaysian, but we also keep tabs with the latest fad or trend that is sweeping the country. And we realized that Malaysians are currently fascinated with spy-shooting films. This is the current craze in Malaysia and we know it,” Nabij said.

From a fad, both the miniature or spy camera and the detectors have become essential items for survival in Malaysia and this has been recognized by the Ministry of Domestic Trade, Cooperatives and Consumerism. The ministry said that it is currently studying a proposal to classify these items as essential for survival and will look into regulating its prices.

Malaysia's Valiant and Ferocious Warrior with the Keris

Another essential survival item is the keris (traditional dagger) famously brandished by the great Malaysian warrior, Hisapputing. The keris, which is made in China, retails for RM10.99. The keris can be bought together with a life-sized Chinese-made mannequin for training purposes.

Essential books are also sold at these stores to educate Malaysians on the 1Malaysia concept and basics of survival in Malaysia. Some of the popular books sold at these stores include the famous Interlok book which retails for RM0.99 for Indians and RM4.99 for non-Indians.

“This book has been deemed important by the Malaysian government for Malaysians of all races so they understand their origins. They must understand their background and how lucky they are to be in Malaysia. This is essential and in-line with the 1Malaysian concept,” Nabij said.

Other popular books include Dummies Guide on Surviving in Malaysia – Tips for the Pendatangs, which is an essential read for the Indians and Chinese while the Malays are encouraged to read Understanding and Embracing UMINO – The Only Way to Salvation.

Another book that has helped transform many ordinary Malaysians into prominent politicians and successful

The Cover of Metamorphosis into A Malay - From Roti Canai Seller to Prominent Bumiputra

businessmen is the The Metamorphosis into a Malay – From Roti Canai Seller to Prominent Bumiputra.

In the leisure and travel section, there are fully-subsidized government one-way travel tickets to China and India which is expected to soar in popularity soon.

Another hot item from this section includes The Box Set DVD Collection of Hit Sex Videos of Famous Malaysians.

“The government understands that Malaysians are sex-crazed and we would like to encourage this. This is important if we are to achieve our 70 million population target,” Nabij said.

Nabij said that next the government plans to open up Restoran Rakyat (The People’s Restaurant), which will serve the famous 1Malaysia Meal.

Kuala Lumpur, 22nd June 2011 – The recent attack on Malaysian government websites by internet hackers, Anonymous, will not be taken lightly by the Malaysian government. Malaysia’s most intelligent, highly cultured and Malaysia’s answer to the always-showing-off-their-academic-credentials Singaporean ministers, Minister of Information, Communication and Culture, Datuk Seri Rice Latim, said that the attack on the websites are uncalled for and not fair.

The Minister demonstrating a back-up silat move he plans to use to fend off the cyber attack

He mentioned that the hackers did not stick to their agreed attack time and had instead launched the attack earlier. “This is an act of cowardice and not gentlemanly. They did not keep their word and attacked while we were working on our contract with the Cyber Troopers,” he said. He went on to say that he could have prevented the attack if the hackers had stuck to their scheduled attack time. He also said that the Malaysian government will go after the perpetrators.

We were later made to understand that the Malaysian government, in preparation to fend off the attack from the hackers, had solicited the help of Malaysia’s foremost defense expert and highly acclaimed government advisor, Mr. Razik Badigna. Mr. Badigna had flown in all the way from United Kingdom, his current place of residence.

Mr. Badigna was instrumental in providing expert advice to the Malaysian government in the highly publicized submarine purchase deal. It is a well known fact that Mr. Badigna commands a very high fee for his services and it was rumored that he was paid a commission of RM500 million for assisting the Malaysian government with the submarine purchase. But his expert advice is worth every penny according to the Malaysian Defense Ministry.

Mr. Badigna flew in at very short notice and was asked to act as middleman in contracting the services of the Cyber Troopers to fend off the cyber attack and also provide total cyber security solutions. Mr. Badigna was tasked with establishing a Bumiputra private limited company, Perlimekap Sdn Bhd and managing a budget of RM500 million from the Malaysian government, for the project. The company was to seal a partnership deal with the Cyber Troopers and represent the Malaysian government in all dealings with the Cyber Troopers.

But despite Mr. Badigna’s involvement, the deal with the Cyber Troopers fell through at the very last minute.

Temjin during the interview with NHK

Later, Temjin, the chief spokesperson for the Cyber Troopers, in an interview with NHK mentioned that Mr. Badigna, had asked them to lower their fee to RM5 million for their services but they declined. This is lower than the RM50 million quoted by the Cyber Troopers through a closed tender exercise conducted by the Ministry of Information, Communication and Culture.

Due to the collapse of the deal with the Cyber Troopers, the Malaysian government websites were

A webphoto of a minister that was defaced by the hackers

left vulnerable and were attacked by hackers, both foreign and local. Many of the websites were hacked and photos of Malaysian ministers were defaced.

Datuk Seri Rice Latim, who had given assurance that the attack will be prevented, could not be reached for comment subsequent to the attack. It was claimed that he was upset with the involvement of Mr. Badigna and other government departments in the tender exercise. He has since flown to Indonesia for some unfinished personal business.

Meanwhile it was also purported that the government had paid Mr. Badigna for his services although the actual payout could not be determined.