I’ll admit I came up with this tagline when I was creating my website for Modern Seamstress. I needed something catchy but simple, and this three-part phrase came to me one day in the shower. It’s not just a tagline, though. There’s depth to this phrase, and today I’m sharing what it means to me.

Wear What You Love

Easy, right? Not really. I remember my clothes shopping days before I knew how to sew. Something beautiful would catch my eye — the color or cut, the fabric, or maybe a cute embellishment. But a voice in my head told me the garment wasn’t my style, wouldn’t be flattering for my body type, or just wasn’t me. A few times I went ahead and bought the garment only to pack it away in a closet until many years later when I finally felt confident enough to wear it. When we consume fashion advice and believe lies that certain styles are only for certain body types, we do ourselves a disservice. When I learned to sew, I started by falling in love with the fabric and then imagining the garment. I still do this, and my instinct is never wrong. Whether you make everything in your closet, or shop at the mall, wear what you love.

Love What You Wear

This one has a few layers: first, if you wear what you love, you’re naturally going to love what you wear. But this also applies to the care of your garments. Well made garments can last for decades if cared for properly, and simple garments can be strenghthened for posterity with linings and construction details. We live in a fast-fashion society that encourages consumers to consume more, and dispose more often. This habit doesn’t make us any happier, and in fact studies show we’re less happy with our bodies adhering to this model. So, find pieces you love and love them back. Clean them properly. Store them in a cool closet. Avoid dry cleaning chemicals that break down fibers. Learn how to take care of your clothing so it will last for years to come.

Love Your Body.

If I could scream this to every woman, young and old, I would. This is the fundamental tenent: no matter your age, size, weight, height, or curvature, your body is beautiful. Period. I didn’t believe this for a long time due to circumstances and people in my life, but I do now. Not only do I love my God-given form, but I also love myself enough to get enough sleep, drink plenty of water, exercise, eat healthy food, and avoid toxins I know make me feel less than healthy. The next time you look in the mirror, remember to tell yourself that you’re lovely. You won’t regret it.

*I want to preface this post, that I wrote weeks ago, by saying a big thank you to Donald Trump for bringing to light the bullshit women have been dealing with for decades. I’m so glad that a clown of his esteem has finally made this a national discussion.*

As luck would have it, I got 388 views on my post Let’s Talk About Boobies. HUGE shocker, right? I don’t want to call anyone out, but I’m willing to bet that people (ahem, men) who don’t even sew (ahem, men) read the post simply because I dared to include the word “boobies” in the title. And good on me. Get ready to see posts that include that word more often: “Boobalicious Sewing Tools,” “Top 3 Patterns to Show Off Your Boobs,” the list goes on.

I jest of course, as there were many women who chimed in on the discussion about how society has shaped our choices when it comes to covering up or showing off our bodies. Which leads me to an important point – female bodies are objectified every single second of every single day. And it’s not so subtle. I’ve heard the following over the years, and all from men:

“You have great tits.”

“Your legs look great.”

“You’ve got booty for days!”

While it can be a huge ego boost to know you are physically attractive to the opposite sex, relying on this reaction alone can be dangerous. I spent five years in a marriage to someone who didn’t seem attracted to me at all. If he was I certainly didn’t feel attractive. Due to other factors I won’t relay today, I spent the greater portion of that relationship feeling unattractive, unwanted, and completely neglected. And it’s amazing how much that lack of reinforcement did a number on my self-confidence.

We do a disservice to young women, and women in general, when we focus on her physical attributes alone. We have thoughts, ideas, humor, feelings, etc. These are the qualities people mention over time when our bodies begin to age and our physical beauty fades. It’s those qualities by which I want to be remembered – not my ample D cups.

So, how can you encourage and support positive body image (especially in our young women) rather than be a douche canoe? Simple. Compliment her ambition, smarts, creativity, sense of humor, wit, balls of steel, courage, kindness, empathy, passion, heart, smile, eyes, laugh, and talents. Keep your bullshit about food, diet, and clothing to yourself. Refrain from making overtly sexual comments (some women have experienced intense sexual trauma). And overall THINK before you speak. Newsflash: it’s not your job to value judge anyone.

On Friday I was part of an amazing project that combined theatre, art, sculpture, fashion, and music. I dressed three models in custom dresses, and wore a handmade creation myself. As I was dressing one of my models she said, “This is really inappropriate, but your boobs look amazing.” She was right. They did.

I’ve been blessed (and cursed) with an ample bosom since I was 13. I’ve been cat-called, bullied, and everything in between on account of my breasts. I’ve covered ’em up, shown ’em off, and pondered multiple times how to use them to get things done.

Boobs are funny though. We all like to stare at them. We can’t watch a movie nowadays without a pair making an appearance, and despite my friend thinking her comment was inappropriate, I often admire breasts – they’re what make women so damn adorable. I’m intrigued, though, about the social implications of our mammary tissue.

How many of us have been taught we can’t go outside without a bra? Millennials seems to be breaking this rule though. The Kardashians, among others, are spotted constantly – braless, side boob, scandal. We’re so wound up about covering up boobs that breastfeeding women are often chastised for showing them in public.

I read an article recently about tips for going braless and the discomfort you have to overcome to pull it off. Apparently the worse part of ditching the underwire is the awkwardness you feel about your own breasts, not to mention the warped idea of how they should look based on years of being held up, pushed together, and otherwise imprisoned.

And what about how others will perceive you? Is the picture above more sexual because I’m not wearing a bra? There are plenty of bare breasts on the internet, in catalogs, television and film. Why is a woman in a low cut dress or a woman going braless a societal taboo? Why do big boobs ooze sex but little ones don’t? And who the fuck made all these rules to begin with?

I’m not sure when or where, but one of these days I’m going braless. In addition to the benefits of NOT wearing a bra, I’ve decided it’s an interesting way to be thrust into body positivity. And I’m curious to see other people’s reactions when they realize there’s no brassiere.