How to Survive in the Modern Day Workplace

Houston, TX – Realizing the gravity of her error almost immediately after picking up a pink dry erase marker, Debbie Mitchell, regional sales director, realized she had no idea why she felt compelled to interrupt the sales meeting in order to write on the office whiteboard.

“It was like an out-of-body experience,” recalled Mitchell. “One second I’m sitting there shopping for a new dog collar on my phone, the next thing I know I’m in front of everybody with half of a Venn diagram drawn on the board.

“And for some reason the area where the circles overlapped was labeled ‘intensity’.”

Before coworkers could ask any questions, Mitchell instead began drawing a line graph charting out the best seasons of Parks and Recreation, a scatter plot breaking down the best NFL quarterbacks of the 2012 season, and a bullet list of chores she needs to do this weekend.

“On the plus side, now everyone’s takeaway from the meeting is to help me paint my house on Saturday.”