Abu Qatada to present "Thought for the Day" [unexpurgated version]

In response to protests provoked by a listing in the new edition of Radio Times, the BBC has defended its decision to invite the radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada to present 'Thought for the Day' next week.

In a statement from the Director General's Office, the BBC said: "We're blessed with a free press and we have an obligation to licence-fee payers to air a voice for all political and religious persuasions. Anything less could rightly be construed as editorial bias."

The statement is unlikely to pacify leaders of the English Defence League, however, who are planning to switch to Radio 1 in protest.

In his five-minute slot, Abu Qatada is expected to extol the obligations of the faithful in smiting infidels on the neck in the course of battle, as described in the Holy Quran, and to call for battle to commence. He is also expected to compare London council housing with Belmarsh prison and identify the perpetrators of the recent pork DNA in halal burgers scandal.

Rising to Abu Qatada's teachings, a Facebook group calling itself 'The Moderate Sons of Abraham' has called for all infidels be unfriended, pointing out that infidels are atheists. It has attracted more than 3,000 likes, mostly from Scientologists.