MICHAEL Gannon mans the hotline - and gets a mouthful from supporters as phone lines go into meltdown over Uruguay gnasher.

URUGUAY gnasher Luis Suarez gave Hotline callers plenty to get their teeth into with his antics against Italy.

The nifty nibbler sent the phone lines into meltdown and the gags were being served up on a plate.

Jock Gray, Falkirk, got the ball rolling and said: “I have a simple solution. Defenders should take a single fish and a Mars Bar out on to the pitch when playing Suarez in case he gets hungry and fancies a bite.”

James Jarvie, Broxden, said: “In the old days in the Middle East they used to take your hand off if you got caught stealing.

“They should take Suarez’s teeth out and see how he gets on then.”

Jimmy Findlay, Lennoxtown, agrees. He said: “They should take his teeth out and he won’t be able to bite anyone again.”

George McNeil, Kilmarnock, said: “It wasn’t the end of the world. Yes Suarez was wrong and should be punished but let’s not overlook the disgraceful Italian tactics.

“They targeted Suarez, just like they did with Zinedine Zidane against France in the 2006 World Cup Final.

“Anyway, I’ve heard a German club are in for Suarez – he’s going to Borussia Munchen Centre Back.”

Stuart Bone, Airdrie, said: “FIFA should throw the book at Suarez and the punishment should fit the crime.

“Mind you, the incident has got me thinking about our favourite World Cup players. I can’t see past a front line of Suarez, Dentist Bergkamp and Gerd Molar.”

Davie Toniszkis, Blantyre, said: “Suarez should be banned for a long time but they should also look at the actions of the Uruguay manager.

“Apparently he told Suarez if you can’t beat the Italians you should eat them.”

James Robertson, Glasgow, said: “I’ve got the appropriate punishment for Suarez. He should be locked in a room with Gary Lineker and Adrian Chiles.

“In fact, that wouldn’t be punishment, it would be torture.”

Matt Crossey, Glasgow, said: “It should be three bites and you’re out for Suarez.

“In all seriousness, it was a disgraceful thing to do and Liverpool should seriously think about getting shot of him because he’s a total liability.”

Frank Carr, Elderslie, said: “Ask Ian Durrant or John Kennedy if they would rather have a wee nibble on their shoulder or the kind of violent tackle that ended their careers. I think we all know the answer.

“Obviously Suarez was out of order but a lot of the reaction has been over the top. He should just be fitted with a muzzle.”

Michael Prater, Lesmahagow, said: “Suarez should be given a six-month ban and made to pay a huge fine that can be handed to children’s charities.

“He might learn something and at least some good could come from this incident.”

The World Cup has certainly got the juices flowing on the home front.

Eric White, Hamilton, said: “The World Cup has been great but I can’t wait for the new season.

“I’m a Rangers fan and I’m bored of the politics and stuff going on behind the scenes.

“I just want to be watching the football again and I’m genuinely excited about the Championship.

“It’s going to be really competitive.”

Celtic fans have also been watching the events in Brazil and more than a few took note as their former hero Georgios Samaras sent Greece into the last 16 with his injury-time penalty.

Alastair Fagan, Aberdeen, said: “I thought Samaras was a waste of space for Celtic. He was always hiding in games but fair play to him, he didn’t hide against the Ivory Coast.

“I can’t imagine the pressure of stepping up to take a 93rd-minute penalty with the hopes of your country on your shoulders and the world holding its breath.

“I only wish he had been as brave when he was at Celtic.”

Phillip Taylor, East Kilbride, said: “Ronny Deila should be chapping on Peter Lawwell’s door and telling him he has seen a top player who has just got his nation to the last 16 of the World Cup and is currently available on a free transfer.

“I was astounded Celtic let Samaras go as he was a great servant at Parkhead.

“He took a huge drop in wages to come to Celtic and I think he would have loved to stay on.

“Ronny should go out and bring him home.”

Hotline caller John Crawford dangled the bait the other day – and one punter took the bait.

Dunky Roberston, London, said: “John Crawford from Castle Douglas said Celtic would be up against teams from Tesco and Aldi if they get past the side from Iceland.

“Well, I’m just glad they are not in a competition which sounds like a famous fish ’n’ chips shop – the Harry Ramsden’s Cup.”