Homer:[sarcastically] Oh, yeah, that's way better than fun and excitement.

Lisa:[reading the program] As French Canadians, they don't believe in refunds, or exploiting animals for entertainment.

Homer: Oh, I wanted to see 'em fire a gorilla out of a cannon.

Ringmaster: Mesdames et messieurs, it appears the Cloud Goddess is ripe with rain babies. We must run for our trucks.

Homer: Oh no you don't! I paid full price for this freak show. Now nourish the child within me! [shakes fist] Nourish...

Principal Skinner: Children, I'm proud of you. Most of our students didn't bother to show up on this last day before Christmas break. But you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage.

Marge: This is terrible. How will the kids get home?

Homer: I 'unno... Internet?

Martin: I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama, and she'll finish without me.

Skinner: Yes, yes, yes. We all had plans. Except for me, ironically. I'm right where I want to be.

Skinner: This is a gross misuse of school property. Where are the dodge balls? [he is hit by several dodgeballs] Ow! Ow! Oh! All right, that's it! I'm writing all your names on the detention list in my mind.