What I really meant was that if you really love her, you will stick it out. You will become a goddamned saint. A church going, Bible toting, mother-loving man of the cloth, even. If there's no room for compromise and that's what it takes.

The only catch is, if she doesn't accept you how you are, then how can there be true happiness?

11-03-2013, 10:10 AM

Dogar The Brave

Nah man I didn't delete the thread because of what you or anyone said, the thread crossed a line for me because it was too personal about someone other than me, which of course is what I started. I do appreciate all your thoughts though. As far as her accepting me, let's face it guys, a women will ALWAYS try to find something to "fix" about you. I'm just having a REAL hard time doing the whole organized religion thing without being disingenuous. If anything, THAT'S my real issue.

11-03-2013, 10:19 AM

God

deleting threads hours after you've started them, the #1 internet sign of autism

11-03-2013, 10:47 AM

Dogar The Brave

Complaining about forum etiquette, the #2 internet sign of autism.

11-03-2013, 10:58 AM

God

autistic people aren't allowed to be part of the diagnostic process

11-03-2013, 11:03 AM

Solly

aw man what did i miss

11-03-2013, 11:07 AM

God

dogar revealed that pd has one more transgendered poster

11-03-2013, 11:31 AM

Dogar The Brave

Quote:

Originally Posted by God

autistic people aren't allowed to be part of the diagnostic process

High talk from someone who didn't know who the League of Nations were!

Trixie, PD persona aside, as a man what do you think of me? Occupation, education, smarts, interests, demeanor etc. With that, would you say my offer in a marriage is lacking or acceptable for providing a loving safe life with a woman? As a value of personhood, do I have a high or low standing in general and then in your opinion?

11-03-2013, 02:19 PM

trixie

It's hard for me to set your online persona aside, because that is the only way I know you.

But I do know you're smart, have a good occupation and interests and all the rest. You're a good person, I don't think you're lacking in any way.

11-03-2013, 02:20 PM

God

im not sure how you expect someone you only know on pd to put your pd persona aside

11-03-2013, 02:21 PM

trixie

Quote:

Originally Posted by God

im not sure how you expect someone you only know on pd to put your pd persona aside

^ see? as I said

11-03-2013, 02:29 PM

Dogar The Brave

Quote:

Originally Posted by trixie

It's hard for me to set your online persona aside, because that is the only way I know you.

But I do know you're smart, have a good occupation and interests and all the rest. You're a good person, I don't think you're lacking in any way.

We all know my RL personality is the same as my PD one but toned down and much less divisive. Granted I'm a smart ass but nothing on the level of I am on PD. Even on PD it's not hard to see that I have a heart.

With that you say I am not lacking in any way. My question is is what are you SO adamant about that you would never compromise in a mate ever?

Quote:

Originally Posted by God

im not sure how you expect someone you only know on pd to put your pd persona aside

I think I have been here long enough for most people to see who I really am at least to a degree when looking past my super funny internet hijinks!

Furthermore, if a person knows and FEELS FLCL, one does not need to even question what kind of person they are.

11-03-2013, 02:34 PM

trixie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

Even on PD it's not hard to see that I have a heart.

It really isn't. I think you're extremely caring and sensitive when it comes to people who are your friends/ you like/ love.

I... don't know about the one thing.

Disrespect, maybe? Like even in general, if he is not respectful to other people, or my family, or my feelings etc. It's hard for me to come up with one thing!

11-03-2013, 02:40 PM

Dogar The Brave

Oh Trixie you make me smile.

See, basic human kindness, being loving and trusting; forgiving always, to anyone and especially your lover. Being strong when she needs you to be strong but opening up when you need her. Providing and not fretting over money, having the ability to enjoy the small things in life but not opposed to planned fun big events. Being an ambitious dreamer but are grounded and practical. Allowing the both of you to grow, together and compromising.

Is that not what a loving, good man needs to be? Is that not what a woman deserves?

11-03-2013, 02:45 PM

trixie

Yes exactly!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

My question is is what are you SO adamant about that you would never compromise in a mate ever?

So I don't know. I guess it depends what stage the relationship is in. I'm not really adamant about anything- I feel like if I was enough in love I would accept a lot of things.

11-03-2013, 02:52 PM

Dogar The Brave

Maybe she's just afraid of marriage in general. Like she thinks marriage has to be in this nice fit bow of perfectness before you go through with it. I mean she gave me milestones years ago about what needs to happen before we get married, and I have done all of them. Now she pulls the religion card, which I admit I understand is important to her, but that takes years and years to build and I don't want to do it disingenuously.

What do you think Trixie? If you that was something you wanted your lover to improve would you want them to rush it or have them find their way with you throughout the years. Life is a journey, and that part of one's life is one as well.

11-03-2013, 02:55 PM

trixie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

I understand is important to her, but that takes years and years to build and I don't want to do it disingenuously.

Quote:

have them find their way with you throughout the years. Life is a journey, and that part of one's life is one as well.

Have you told her this?

11-03-2013, 03:01 PM

Dogar The Brave

I did, and she started to cry and we haven't talked since. I want to be the man she wants me to be, I do want to make her happy, but does a man have to be this sage, this religious pillar of strength to make his lover happy? I don't want to be those crazy crazy Christians, I never wanted to be that. But, I am not opposed to doing the church thing and praying before meals and missionary trips now and then.

I'm just nervous and kind of scared that maybe it's not fair for her to be with a, well, more secular person like me. I can offer her so much, security, unconditional love, compassion etc., but the type of religious man she has always dreamed of marrying since she was a little girl I don't think I can be. I love her so much that I don't want to take that opportunity of maybe having a guy like that away from her. It hurts that I can't give her this one last thing when I can give her everything else.

11-03-2013, 03:04 PM

trixie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

I did, and she started to cry and we haven't talked since.

She'll come back and talk to you. Don't worry about that.

And don't put yourself down, you're a good person, and she knows that too. Honestly, she'll come back and listen and you can talk about stuff and work through them.

11-03-2013, 03:07 PM

trixie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

I'm just nervous and kind of scared that maybe it's not fair for her to be with a, well, more secular person like me. I can offer her so much, security, unconditional love, compassion etc., but the type of religious man she has always dreamed of marrying since she was a little girl I don't think I can be.

But the fact that you're going to try means a lot. It really does, and I'm sure she will realize this. <3

11-03-2013, 03:11 PM

Dogar The Brave

Oh Trixie.

I just don't want her to think she made a bad choice and get hurt. I just know I can't fit the religious mold she wants me to fit. I hope she does realize that I am and will always try to make her happy.

11-03-2013, 03:14 PM

trixie

Why would she ever think that?

If you've really told her everything you've said in this thread so far, I really don't see how she could ever think that.

11-03-2013, 03:26 PM

Dogar The Brave

I did tell her, but it's not what she has always dreamed her husband would be. The reality of A. the time is coming sooner than latter that marriage is now on the table for real and B. I am not exactly how she wanted a man to be really makes her scared and distraught.