**First off, I’m still here… I know this is basically how amateur blogging goes; you start out strong, then slowly dwindle down into nothingness, then bounce back, then dwindle… repeat. I’m cool with this… I believe the more I accept it, the more I’ll be inclined to write stuff. Also, my recent “break” in blogging included a giant life change which may or may not have included moving to the Arctic, so I’m just going to chalk it up to that.**

The Apple Watch was released yesterday, or the (i)Watch, which I’m preeettyy sure everyone is going to call it regardless of what Apple says…

… But on the other hand, people tend to do exactly what Apple says. Personally, I think Apple should open a new store in one of the most remote regions of the world, release a one time product that will only be released at this store, and see how many people convince themselves that they’re in shape enough to travel to this store, and subsequently take selfies of themselves dying in an attempt to get this product. I know, that was a run-on sentence, but sometimes the best thoughts are.

The Apple Watch… Complete with the ability to TEXT your HEARTBEAT to someone, creating a new, awkward way to convey your feelings with even less words.

Now, I’m sure there are several benefits to this product, right? Definitely not anything I’d be able to think of in time for this post, but the next post, for sure… Maybe the one after that. Going through the features of the watch once it was released, it basically had all the fun stuff usually associated with Apple products, but there are some features that just give that inkling feeling that Apple products just aren’t going to work out in the future. For example, texting on this thing is obviously not going to be the most practical, being that it has a tiny screen and most of us have relatively fat fingers… with remnant grease on them, most of the time. So instead, they develop a “new and innovative” way of communicating, where you make little swirleys and swiggly lines toooo…. communicate? To quote off of Apple’s site:

“You don’t even have to use words. The Digital Touch features on Apple Watch give you fun, spontaneous ways to connect with other Apple Watch wearers, wrist to wrist.”

The first sentence bothers me… “You don’t even have to use words”. Unfortunately, unless you’re part of a Grade 8 gigglefest of girls, words are probably a little more handy than squiggly lines, ultimately continuing the tradition of Grade 8 boys not knowing what f*#% the girls are talking about. No one is planning a lunch date or meeting with squiggles. **Sidenote: I guarantee you it took probably 2.43 minutes from the time of purchase of the very first Apple Watch, for someone to squiggle a penis**.

Alright, it’s time I got the point of this post. These new features are unforunately not a sign of innovation, they’re a sign of desperation. While smartphones are capable of doing many many many things, and in some people’s eyes, they should be able of doing everything, everywhere, at all times, I believe people are going to come to the realization that there are only so many things that are practical on a smartphone. And they’ve pretty well all been created. Apple has reached the point (probably awhile ago) where features are simply created so their market shares stay high, which can keep a company afloat for a little while even. At some point, however, they’re going to release a product with a feature that’s going to be the clincher… It’s going to “click” in people, as they say “I don’t get it”. Will it be with the Apple Watch after we give it a couple days of people using it? We’ll see… If not, we can only hope it’s with the next product launch, I’m assuming will be exactly one year from now…

As Curiosity is slowly making its way around Mars, it seems to have spied something not too far away. This has happened once before, but that one turned out to be a piece of plastic from the cute little rover itself. This time, it looks like quite the shiny object…. A metallic rod/arm/flower/water bottle is seen sticking out of the ground.

They (being scientists of the rocket variety) attribute this find to simply a more competent base metal that has not erroded or rusted like most would due to the lack of oxygen on the planet.

I, on the other hand, am quite positive that those are the remains of Arnie’s metallic hand. I know it’s a little fuzzy, but I see a thumbs-up. Actually it looks more like a foot, and he just went into the ground head first. OR…….. Transformers. Regardless, I would hope that NASA would deviate Curiosity off its course and check it out, personally. However, even though it’s literally supposed to be only a few metres away, that would probably mean a 1-2 week deviation, or something like that, costing millions….. I still think it’s worth it.

Invisibility cloaks I guess have been in the works for awhile, it just took a clincher like J.K. Rowling to bring it to the limelight.

I’ve been reading random articles about it for awhile, combinations of materials and design that will bend light in such a way as to camouflage an object perfectly into whatever it’s surroundings. What intrigued me about my latest readings is a way to do the same thing, but with water.

Well there's one way to achieve frictionless water travel

While the invisibility cloak that everybody knows and loves (and is built into a blanket), bends and manipulates light, an “invisibility cloak” for boats would “bend” water. Just by the shear number of quotations marks I use indicate how experimental this still is, but the science behind “bending” water is pretty wicked, and no it’s not by constantly brushing hair with a million combs (anybody?)

The theory is that a ship’s hull would have 10’s or 100’s or small propellers placed (I assume) below the water line. These propellers would push the water beginning at the bow of the ship all the way to the stern, with propellers the entire length of ship. The idea is if you can push the water the same speed as the ship (or relative to a certain speed of the ship), it would essentially eliminate friction along the hull. The ship would inherently seem…… Weightless? It would “glide over” water, but still actually going through it (I swear all quotation marks are necessary), it would simply “bend” it out of the way.

The fact that it would theoretically eliminate friction between boat and water, is interesting in the sense that it’s something I never would have thought of. Fuel consumption would drop considerably, products become cheaper and shipping becomes greener (and cheaper). “But wouldn’t fuel consumption be the same because you still need to drive the props?”. That’s what I thought, but you need quite a bit of power to overcome friction. Without friction though? I wouldn’t think nearly as much power would be required, but this is just my guess…

I never really had any use for street view, too be honest. And now that it’s finally covered in my town, I still have no use for it. Not like I’ve never used it before, but when you’re looking ‘through’ it in your own town, it becomes a little creepy. You never think of it when you’re looking in other places, because you’ve never been there. It’s like TV. But when it becomes familiar, that’s when you kind of get a half-assed reality check about what you’re really looking at, and what you’re using.

I’m sure there are plenty of uses for street view; instead of just knowing where a restaurant is, you can look it up and actually see what it looks like, which can pretty handy. But Google has been under fire more than once for privacy issues, or simply people just thinking “ummm, should they be doing this?”. Google Earth being the biggest, but it’s just like any program or system that handles any personal information. For example, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Facebook in the headlines for privacy control in Canada, which I honestly can’t scrutinize because they’re just looking for the interest of the users.

But what I do want you to do(whoever’s reading this) is think, “Would I really freak out if my blurred picture was taken in front of my house? What is honestly the worst that can happen?” You’d freak out, then what…? I don’t know what possible information they could get off of a picture of your house… even if you were hoola-hooping naked on your front lawn, the best you’d get is on one of those ‘hilarious things found on Google Earth’ sites, which I believe I would be proud of…. I think hoola-hoops are on sale for a buck this week…. I’ll be right back.

Here’s my house, looks pretty decent I guess (I just bought it). You can’t even see my house num… oh shit, I forgot to wash my bank account info off the sidewalk!

UPDATE: While this is an old story, and while still hilarious that they were chased out of their town, the villagers do make a valid point. Check it here…