Friday, February 22, 2013

I Choose

If I told you that my experience with an educational online writing community was spiritually impactful and life-changing, would you believe me? Would you ever have guessed that I would walk away from such an experience strengthened in my walk with the Lord?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Yet when Ichose to participate in this writing community last month,** I often found myself faced with daily writing prompts that must have been dropped right out of heaven, straight from the throne of God.

Take prompt #4, for example.

Share one of your favorite quotes. Tell the reader why it is significant, important, or meaningful.

And here is what I wrote. No, not a dutiful writing assignment. Not an educational experience. But a cry, straight from my heart.

I'll admit it. I've gotten tired lately.I've
gotten tired of being different. Tired of trying to answer impossible
questions. Tired of standing out, of being stared at, questioned and
misunderstood.This is hard, this being different. I hated it as a
child and as a teenager, and that is what led to my rebellion. Deep,
dark, mostly hidden - yet still very real. I'm a pleaser. I'll do
anything - anything - to make someone else approve of me. But very few
did, because we were (are) weird and radical and counter-cultural. So I
lived in defiance against my lifestyle for four long years. If things
had continued, I would have left home. I am sure of it.But
things did not continue, because there is a God, and He answers prayer,
and He has mercy on those who do not deserve it. I surrendered my life
to the Lord Jesus Christ, and chose Him as my Master. I turned my back
on the world, and opened my arms wide to Him.I gave Him my all.But
this is a daily decision, not a one time act. And I forgot. I have
wavered. I am ashamed to say that my heart has gone back to wanting to
please the world. Ditch this being different! Who says I can't fit in??And then comes today's prompt - - my favorite quote??"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim ElliotAnd my heart is touched as I see so clearly what my eyes, as of late, have been blinded to.I
have tried to keep - to save - my life. He who saves his life shall
lose it. I knew that! How could I have forgotten?? I can choose to give
what I cannot keep: my life. Or I can attempt to save it, only to find
that one day, I will have lost it.The choice is obvious. There
really isn't a choice at all. It has been clearly laid before me - I
have chosen once, and I will choose again.I lay down my life. I die. I pick up my cross. And I follow Him.

Yes, I chose that day. And I choose this day. Each day. I will serve the Lord.

"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." ~Luke 9:23-24