Courtney Stodden On Her Honeymoon: ‘I Had a 24-Hour Lady Boner’

For those of you not exhaustively following the chronicles of Child Bride and The 51-Year-Old Actor Who Never Quite Made It, But Fuck Working at Walmart, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison’s Hail Mary actually worked and they’ve since landed a reality show deal with Merv Griffin Entertainment. In the meantime, here they are continuing Courtney’s trend of saying ridiculous shit she read in the back of an old Penthouse during her Dairy Queen shifts. Via RadarOnline:

On her honeymoon:
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.”

On why her marriage is so controversial:
“I think it was because he was 51 and his life is over and I’m just venturing out on mine. I’m here to make the second half of [Doug’s] life a lot better!”

On what she wants to study in college:
“I would go to college and study all of Doug,” she laughed. “All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.”

And the most revelatory comment she’ll ever make:
“He’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, he’s like the wife around the house. He picks up the slack around the house and that’s very inspiring to me.”

And there you have it. The dude’s her goddamn butler. I knew it had to be something. Although honestly I was hoping it was my first guess that 16-year-old girls really did get way sluttier and no longer recoil at the scent of a failed life. So if you’ll excuse me, I have a van to return and possibly remove an airbrushed Ram-Man riding a Pegasus from. You promised me love, you ram-bastard!