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Saturday, November 12, 2011

That's what Edward said

In this age of globalization, Japanese tourists apparently will fly to
Taiwan in order to have Thai-style massages. Or is just the misspelling of
"Tai" that is confusing them?

Life isn’t easy on the mean streets of T'aipei (Tái​běi) 台北. Fortunately, having both talked to a lot of expatriates in Taiwan and read a number of Taiwan-centered blogs over the years, I have been able to glean several easy steps that can be taken to help you cope with your difficult living environment:

First of all, forget the fact that in T’aipei all you have to do is ride
the subway for a few minutes (a convenience unavailable elsewhere in
Taiwan, with the possible exception of Kaohsiung [Gāo​xióng] 高雄)
before finding yourself in a world teeming with upscale department
stores, ritzy boutiques, fusion restaurants, cafés serving imported
beers, hopping nightclubs and specialist stores stocking many of the
familiar comforts of home. Focus instead on your immediate environment
and on the need to integrate into your new surroundings…or at least as
much as any foreign barbarian can in these circumstances. This can be
done by making an attempt to learn the local lingo and trying some of
the more “exotic” dishes (don’t eat anything familiar, even if your
neighbors seem to enjoy do so.) Later, when talking to fellow expats,
you will be able to toss in local words and phrases into your
conversation, and identify things like food items only by their local
name, without any accompanying definitions. This will force your foreign
friends and acquaintances to ask for clarifications and explanations,
thus giving you “street cred”.

Second, try not to think of the people around you as flesh-and-blood
human beings who share many of the same likes and dislikes, hopes and
dreams, and fears and worries as you. Instead, always remember that they
are stock characters, Exotic Others in your Asian (Taiwanese)
Experience. This will help to enhance the excitement of your life
abroad, and impress the folks and friends back home who will marvel at
your descriptions of life in T’aipei/Taiwan, and marvel at photographs
such as this one:

Once you have located your local comfort zone, be
sure to stress how much better life in T’aipei/Taiwan is compared to
your country of birth and/or nationality. This can be done by
deliberately overlooking the more unpleasant or seamier sides of life in
Taiwan, and ignoring the fact that on such a compact island everything
will be much closer than in vast, continent-wide states such as
Australia, Canada or the United States. All that personal space and
freedom in the latter countries are vastly overrated anyway.

Now
you are ready to assume your role as an interpreter of all things
Taiwanese to the outside world. This can be done in conversation, blog
entries and postings on Internet forums. Remember while explaining
Taiwan to those on the outside to always stress the differences, not the
similarities, and of how much you understand and have adapted to these
cultural shocks. Be careful of boasting, but do try to pepper your
conversation with local words, and try to bring up as often as you can
the exotic dishes you enjoy eating (and, if necessary, force yourself to
drink Taiwan Beer on a regular basis), as well as the “incredibly
beautiful” places you have visited. Make a habit of watching local soap operas and listening to the latest pop hits by artists that no one outside of Greater China has ever heard of. Be sure to get your news fix from TVBS, not CNN or BBC. Always keep your focus on the
“unique” aspects of Taiwan, and don’t concern yourself with context.
Most importantly, never forget that every experience with a local,
especially when conducted in the local language, is an experience worth
not only treasuring, but sharing with others.

Finally, always
keep in mind that you are the sole interpreter of Taiwan. It’s a heavy
responsibility – there are plenty of people in the West who rely on you
to define Taiwan for them. Do not try to accommodate differing opinions
and/or observations, even though they may be the result of another
individual’s experience that could be very different from your own.
Explaining the Exotic Other of Taiwan is a zero/sum game, and you need
to be adamant when standing your ground. Giving even an inch could mean
ceding your turf to another barbarian observer.

Oh, and should you ever come across a book called Orientalism, don’t pick it up and start reading. It’s heavy-going and humorless, and, besides, you might not like what is written inside.

Now you're ready - go forth and pontificate!

A colorful native tries to work out the meaning of しょくえいぼう (shokueibō)...or not.