Karen and Liam are to be commended. Too many couples rush into marriage without considering the serious nature of the commitment.Take DJ and Kelly for example. If only they had waited, Kelly might have regained healthy bowel function and DJ May have come to his senses.

"Wendy and Dave" may have learned that "in a heart" and "under a heart" are also fine options for a life together.

And, given a decade or so, Bob and Nicole might have discovered Big Black Donuts. (They are made by Entemanns in the east and they're fabulous.) Big Yellow Donuts just couldn't compare.

On the yellow donut cake, my first impression was "Flintstone's-style steam roller." Probably the precursor to the shotgun wedding... (Gunpowder wasn't invented until Captain Kirk concocted it in the Gorn episode, after all.)

On closer look, I realized it was that rare galactic occurence, the yellow hole. (This one's a binary.) See how it's sucking the lettering into its depths? That white triangular spacecraft is already partially engulfed.

Neither interpretation bodes well for the happy couple -- they're either getting steamrolled into marriage, ot their marriage is being compared to an endless sucking vortex.

Sharyn,Marriage compared to an endless sucking vortex.... I actually snorted out loud when I read that! Too funny! I'm happily married and all, marriage is wonderful, but sometimes, especially after kids... yeah, maybe that baker's on to something... endless sucking vortex.

[Be right with you...casting my vote with the others on the "endless sucking vortex" survey.]

Okay, then! I nominate "Wendy and Dave" for the "Underneat That" Award. (There IS a contest for the next-next book cover, no?)Chris-Tina and Don, unfortunately, had a sad story. They had drawn up specs for matching headstones for their final resting place(always thinking ahead, those two...). But SOMEhow the specs ended up at a bakery instead of with a draftsman(a common mistake).

But it does make a fine marker, don't you think? I'm envisioning Carrara marble with a side of granite...

I thought perhaps that last one was never picked up and re-displayed recently. It looks all old and possibly dusty. But the camera date stamp in the lower right corner shows that I am wrong. Poor Chris-tine and Don.

So are the red and orange spots on the hunting cake supposed to be the blood splatters, to go along with the green diarrhea spots? Too funny, but YUCK! Why even go there? Maybe the baker actually couldn't believe what was requested, and just decided to have fun with it...

Welllll...the Karen and Liam one *could* be one of those good, old-fashioned, pre-arranged marriages...like between "families," if you get my drift (the Ozarks are lovely in the Spingtime, I hear).Of course, they're just babies, now...but in 11 years, why, they'll be prime!

May the force be with Matthew and Stephanie! Though I think Han and Leia would have been a better choice. More important, do you think that cake comes with a light saber to cut it -- or does the groom need to employ his Jedi powers to cut it?

#1 As much as I love doughnuts, I can also see two halves of a buttery, toasted bagel (mmmm!).

#2 Announcing the engagement using aliases does not bode well. That border looks like it was piped by a committee. Three hearts -- wow, I haven't heard Bob Welch in a while.

#3 I thought pre-teen betrothals had gone out of fashion.

#4 Isn't it usually *her* father who has to be convinced? Unless...no. The theme from 'Star Wars' played on a banj...no. Not going there.

#5 I note that the 'red spatter' theme is carried onto the picture frame in the background -- someone is *really* into hunting, here. Speaking of which, I initially read the message as, "The hunt is on." Yikes! At least DJ already has the reception entertainment covered (how many times has he heard that one).

#6 No way to know what might have been done to 'congratulations' in this case, because the Towering Hearts of Frosting are in the way.

Hopefully, Don and Christina purchased their wedding cake from someone who knows that when you hyphenate a name, the second half is not capitalized. Cuts *way* down on the confusion -- and the snarky comments -- at the reception.

It makes me sad that the baker of Christina and Don's cake probably really thought s/he was being clever and innovative. See the marker lines where s/he even drew out where to cut the lid so the top of the "masterpiece" wouldn't be smashed (because having a lid with a giant hole in the top makes a lot more sense than not having a lid at all.)? Yes, the total of someone's creative and artistic talents went into that sucker. Which makes me very sad for him/her.

Also, I have to assume the "2022" cake came from the order writer putting the base and flag (if those are official terms) on their number 1's instead of just drawing a straight vertical line. I make my ones with the additional marks and from time to time am suprised by someone who is unfamiliar with...well, numbers, (I guess) and they think it's a 2. Weird.

Aaaahhh I'm LOVING that Star Wars one!! So awesome...and ain't it the truth? lol I had some awesome girlfriends make a Star Wars baby shower cake for me...little baby figure in the middle surrounded by Star Wars figures. It read "The Force Is Strong With This One."

That is the same conclusion I came to recently. From now on, you'll only see me at Krispie Kreme, whatever the occasion. Everyone likes a donut, and I bet they've never once tried to pull a "Christine and Don."

@M.Dale: I didn't see the hole in the lid at first because of the other problems, but it's surenuf there. All the wreckerator had to do was knock a half-pound of frosting off each heart and the lid would have cleared.

Speaking of which, I certainly hope that gunmetal gray border is lead-free.

@Anonymous @ 5:59: Donut cake. Mmmmm! Just so it isn't done in the grand tradition of CCCs (patooie!) where a collection of innocent doughnuts who never hurt anyone are entombed in frosting. At that point, even I would draw the line. After a sample.

@Joy: Happy Thursday.

I move that the Southern California regional EPCOT shelter be located within walking distance of a Krispy Kreme store. On second thought, it should be located *in* a Krispy Kreme store. That is all.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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