Why Xerxes is a good name for a cat

Xerxes is a great name for a cat because of his aggressive, destructive conquests, his ruthless crushing of revolts, and his inconstant personality.

First and foremost, Xerxes was called the Šāhanšāh, which means King of Kings. This is like a cat in which they ruthlessly conquer an enemy cat king’s land and force the king into subjugation, often appointing a cat satrap into governing the conquered territories. Xerxes was also born into a famous family, Darius I and Atossa, the latter of which was the daughter of Cyrus the Great. Thus, like cats, he was born into a great and prestigious family, like the fearsome Mittens was born from the legendary, fearsome pair of Fluffy and Kitty.

Almost immediately after he took power, Xerxes crushed all revolts and territorial disputes, securing the fact that it was he, not they, who owned the land. This is like cats in that they quickly correct any mistakes regarding who peed in the bush. He also quickly destroyed any doubt about whether he, the one his father designated to rule and the first one born while Darius was king, should claim the crown, or Artobazan, the eldest brother but born before Darius’ coronation. He rose to power smoothly at age 36, with no one challenging him again due to his cat-like ferocity.

A third point is his bloodthirsty and mercurial nature. When Xerxes attempted to invade Greece, a river called the Hellespont blocked his way. Xerxes built 2 bridges, both of which were destroyed in a vicious storm that flung both into the river. Logically, in response to this, he gave the river 300 lashes, branded it, and threw in some shackles. This demonstrated that Xerxes was crazy, had a sense of humor, or both. This is a perfect analogy for the mercurial nature of a cat. He also enjoys in his enemies’ suffering, alike to how cats play with their pray before eating them, as shown in the Battle of Thermopylae. Instead of ending the famous 300 Spartan’s lives quickly with his thousands of archers, he chose to rather kill them slowly and draw out the battle by sending his soldiers to get massacred.

Thus, Xerxes the mercurial, bloodthirsty, power hungry and conquering king would the perfect name for your cat, rather than calling them “Whiskers” or “Paws” or “Fatty”.