I Don’t Need A Hero—I Saved Myself A Long Time Ago

Thanks to Disney movies and terrible rom-coms, I grew up believing that being a damsel in distress meant that a knight in shining armor would come to my rescue eventually. Not only does that not really happen in real life, but I sure as hell don’t need a guy to save me. I’m fully capable of saving myself—in fact, I already did.

I stopped believing that I needed to be saved. Instead, I focused on the fact that a 21st-century woman can fully and happily function without a man or a relationship and started living my life accordingly. If I want or need something, I can damn well get or do it myself.

I stopped waiting looking for my own Prince Charming. I put a stop to jumping in headfirst with every guy that came my way. Being self-sufficient and self-fulfilled meant that I started to view relationships as a perk rather than a necessity. I started to actually focus on and put myself first for once. I was no longer waiting for my life to start—I was actually living it.

I embraced opportunities I’d long ignored in favor of looking for a guy. Instead of hanging around in the same old places doing the same old thing hoping to meet someone, I stopped looking for love altogether. I remembered my lifelong dream of traveling the world and actually went out and did it on my own, and it was so much more satisfying.

I became the best possible version of myself, for myself. I was getting bored of my old routine so I changed up my routine and learned new skills. I stepped outside my comfort zone and became a more well-rounded person as a result. I worked hard to become someone I could be proud of rather than just some woman that some guy would want to be with and it felt amazing.

I cut the toxicity out of my life. Instead of spending time with negative people who drained me, I allowed only positive vibes in all aspects of my life. I also stopped hanging out with people who just wanted to stay in the same place and do the same things all the time because I knew I wanted more for myself.

I started exercising. I became a bit of a slob in my younger years thinking that because I wasn’t overweight, I didn’t need to exercise. It wasn’t long before my metabolism caught up with me and I started losing tone. I soon realized that being physically fit also gave me some much-needed endorphins to boost my mood on a daily basis. Since then, I haven’t looked back.

I made plenty of time for self-care. I exercise to work on both my mental and physical health, but I introduced self-care time into my weekly routine as well. This is where I just have some time for me, and only me, doing fun stuff that I like to do. As well as helping me to relax, it allows me to hit pause on my crazy schedule and reflect on how I’m feeling about everything.

I re-evaluated my priorities. I figured out what exactly I wanted from life and then made some goals to go out and get it. If something wasn’t right, I changed it. After all, I wasn’t about to waste precious time in a less than ideal situation. Getting a clear picture of how I wanted my life to pan out gave me the impetus to start making big moves towards creating it.

I spent time with the people who matter to me. As I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I had plenty of spare time to spend with the people I truly cared about. Friends and family became more important to me than ever and I managed to build fulfilling, meaningful relationships with some people who will now stand beside me for the rest of my life.

I refused to date jerks. My life wasn’t totally man-free when I started getting my act together. Guys weren’t my focus but they didn’t have to be entirely absent from my life. However, I only picked guys who were good for me to go on dates with. I stopped dating jerks and guys who were clearly toxic and trying to string me along for the sake of it. It improved my self-esteem as well as my general opinion of the opposite sex.

I lived in the moment. Instead of trying to plan my future or dwelling on the past, I was more attentive to the present—and I still live that way to this day. I don’t want to look back with regret 20, 30, or even 40 years down the line knowing that I missed so much of my life because I was preoccupied with what already happened or what was to come.

I focused on making myself happy. I realized that I don’t necessarily need a man by my side at all if I just focus on making myself happy. As long as I have good friends and family, a stimulating job, fun hobbies, and a roof over my head, then I’ll be just fine.

Katie Davies
Katie Davies is a freelance writer and blogger from England. In between cups of coffee, she has written for a number of businesses and publications on her three favorite subjects of fashion, travel and dating. She loves to use her personal knowledge and previous experiences to help others through her writing and blogs weekly at www.katiekat.co.uk.