You wake up from a daze at a very opportune time. You are watching a soccer game and the home team, who you are apparently cheering for, just scored to take the lead. You join in on the celebration with the other fans by doing the Mario.

Examine SurroundingsExamine SelfConduct Basic Spatiotemporal Check (i.e. where am I and what is the date today?)

RESULT

You wake up from a daze and examine your surroundings. You are currently sunbathing on a patio chair next to a pool. There is currently a lifeguard present and a few people playing in the pool. The area you are in is fenced in and you notice a few palm trees overhead giving it a tropical climate. The sun has a strong presence overhead making it quite toasty.

You are wearing military boots, camouflage pants, and a military green shirt. You appear like a basic soldier, but you lack any armor or weapons. Needless to say, your attire is rather peculiar to be wearing to a pool.

From your limited observation it looks like you are at a tropical resort, but you are not certain. You believe it is approximately noon, but you have no remembrance of the date.

"Dammit Felissan, making someone lose the game is NOT NICE" - DeathRowKitty 2016"Also, the me in your signature just made the me in this thread lose the game and I'm not sure how to feel about this." - DeathRowKitty 2018

In post 5, Iprobablysuck wrote: go fucking crazy and slide around the area while belching soccer music at the top of my lungs

RESULT

You definitely don't fit in anymore. You jump off the bleachers and begin sliding around in front of them screaming. Some of the home fans cheer your erratic behavior on, the visiting team.... they don't see what's so impressive about a one goal lead and look at you with disgust. There's still 13 minutes left in the game after all.......

You wake up from your daze in an office building- fantastic! at least one person on this forum has a respectable day job. You have a strange desire to get in a car. You look around the room and luckily you spot one outside the window. You hurry down two flights of stairs and exit the building. You run past a small cafe and get in the green station wagon you spotted from upstairs. Not that fanciest car by any stretch, but I suppose it will do.

In post 8, Iprobablysuck wrote: loudly declare that my team will win whatever the championship in this league is

RESULT

You declare that your team, which appears to be the Pandas based on your mascot, will win the championship! The home crowd cheers in response to your statement. Meanwhile on the field, play has resumed as your team tries to put the game away.

"Dammit Felissan, making someone lose the game is NOT NICE" - DeathRowKitty 2016"Also, the me in your signature just made the me in this thread lose the game and I'm not sure how to feel about this." - DeathRowKitty 2018

In post 10, Felissan wrote:Play some eurobeat on the radio and start drifting around the city

RESULT

You play some eurobeat music, or the closest alternative you can find since this is not Europe, and start drifting around the city. In the process you notice that this is not much of a 'city,' it is quite small. There's less than a dozen buildings here.

ENTER ACTION: __________

In post 11, 2 718281828459 wrote:So I go up to the lifeguard (walking carefully so as not to fall in to the pool) and ask the following:

Hi. I have been somehow placed here against my will and do not know what is going on. What is my current location, including country (and state if in the USA), and the current date and time?

RESULT

"Against your will?" the lifeguard responds bewildered. "The gate's right there." she gestures to your left. "You can leave whenever you want. You're at the Paradise Resort Hotel. And what do you mean country? You're on The Island......" She pauses as you continue with your stream of unusual questions. "Ummm, are you okay? It might be good for you to sit down. I'll get you some water, the heat's probably getting to you. I can call for some help and get someone to take you back up to your room in a minute."

In post 13, Iprobablysuck wrote: do a complete 180 and watch the game politely and quietly

RESULT

Suddenly the wild celebration is over and you sit back down and you watch the game like a quiet and respectable individual. Let's just pretend your crazy celebration never happened? Only your antics are now ingrained in the mind of every single person at this field. Honestly, if you want to live that down, you should probably just move to a different town.

Keep doing some absurdly good drifts, while thinking back about my job

"Dammit Felissan, making someone lose the game is NOT NICE" - DeathRowKitty 2016"Also, the me in your signature just made the me in this thread lose the game and I'm not sure how to feel about this." - DeathRowKitty 2018

In post 15, Invisibility wrote:find someone an ask them if they can hit a fat yeet

You walk up to the nearest individual, who happens to be out on the golf course with you, and ask them if they can hit a fat yeet. "Can you hit the golf ball?" He replies, slightly irritated. "It's your shot."

You yell incredibly loudly and it echoes throughout the junkyard you're standing in the middle of. Nobody responds though, by the looks of it, you're alone here.

ENTER ACTION: ________

In post 18, Felissan wrote:Keep doing some absurdly good drifts, while thinking back about my job

You think back about your job as you were driving. You believe that you were working for some sort of governmental organization. You were developing advanced technology, war technology to be precise. Though you weren't working on anything incredibly dangerous, instead you were designing resistant materials to presumably shield people. Obviously it would be used for combat and fighting of some sort, but beyond that you have no real idea what cause it was specifically being utilized for.

ENTER ACTION: ________

In post 19, 2 718281828459 wrote:OK, examine my memory files for any information that might tell me how I got here, why, and what the date is.

The date is not particularly important to this story. You're on an alternate timeline in your own fancy little world. It's a massive collision of all sorts of technology and time periods. You're here on vacation from what you can surmise. Why else would you come to a resort hotel? You clearly don't work here since you have a guest room. In the grand scheme of things, you're probably from somewhere else, but you're not exactly sure where. There may be more clues in your room. In the meantime, you're free to relax and enjoy your vacation, since that's why you came here. While you're pondering these answers, a hotel staff member brings you a water bottle. It's quite nice considering the sweltering heat you're in.