Tally's 2006 Saints season thread, unruined

this is a discussion within the Saints Community Forum; Since I fed the troll in the other thread and pretty much messed up Tally's thread, as an apology to Tally I want to re-post it here so he can continue, cause it was genuinely kinda cool. Sorry Tally. Totally ...

Since I fed the troll in the other thread and pretty much messed up Tally's thread, as an apology to Tally I want to re-post it here so he can continue, cause it was genuinely kinda cool. Sorry Tally. Totally 100% my fault in the other thread. So here it goes, again:

Cleveland Browns

The Saints offense doesn't quite gel as expected in the 2006 season opener. Despite FB Karney's noble effort with lead blocks, the OL finds it tough moving an improved Browns middle. Brees is a little rusty and guarded. Tight Ends contribute with big numbers and a score. Saints win the turnover battle 3-2. In a close one....Saints 20 Browns 17

Extra! LeCharles Bentley high-fives Browns fans after the win and boards the Saints team bus.

Extra! Joe Horn climbs the goalpost, peels the football like a banana and eats the bladder.

Atlanta Falcons

With games against Carolina and Tampa Bay under their belt, the Falcons are eager to prove they're an upper echelon NFL contender. They do just that with an improved defense and stout running game. Falcons 31 Saints 17

Extra! When the game slows in the third, ESPN cameras focus on little Ronny Mexico and his mom in the stands...lip sores and all...ad nauseum.

In a game where Saints concerns - containing the long ball, cerebral decisions at QB and heads-up linebacker play - make significant progress, Carolina proves a little much for the up-and-coming Saints. Panthers work for this one.... Panthers 17 Saints 14

Extra! In his Monday morning commentary, Peter King rips the Panther front office for the untimely half-time honoring of Carolina's NHL champs - the Hurricanes.

Tampa Bay Bucs

After salivating much of the week, the "other side" of the Saints defense smacks Bucs lefty QB Simms around like Ike on Tina. The Saints offense starts to click despite injury concerns. In a cakewalk..... Saints 31 Bucs 14

Extra! TV commentators suggest canning live Gruden audio feeds for "language that would make Ozzy blush"

Philadelphia Eagles

The Saints take advantage of an Eagles team in disarray. Philly's game plan is right on, but they don't have the dogs to pull it off. Eagles keep it close, though. In overtime... Saints 19 Eagles 13

Extra! In his post-game press conference, Eagles head coach Andy Reid spontainiously combusts. His ashes are swept up and mailed to an address in Dallas.