It is not known if the Pope ever drove the car when he
was Cardinal. He has lived at the Vatican for 20 years
before his elevation and wasn't known to drive.

Not
the Pope's Golf.

Reports said Mr. Halbe followed the bidding on a
portable from a hospital where he was being treated for an
upset stomach. He told reporters that the first thing he
was going to do was buy another car and then go on
holidays. As of Saturday, eBay's 'kultauto' page had
received 9.4 million visitors. Not bad for a car that might
not have ever been driven on Sundays.

Fake
Contest

A TV–news report about the Pope's Golf showed a
gent washing a dark blue car, so I went out and snapped
one. Only later did I discover that it should have been
silver or metallic grey. So, the photo is not of the Pope's
Golf, and I cleaned the bird droppings off it. To add a
German touch I placed the false Golf in front of a real
Turkish grocery shop, shot in Berlin Kreuzberg, about 1974.
There is something fundamentally wrong with the above fake
photo montage. What is it? The first right answer will get
a real but modest prize.

Uncle Den–Den
Rents

The Daguerrèotypistas' favorite Uncle
Den–Den is going to an important graduation party,
leaving his apartment behind. In Montparnasse at the top of
five flights of walk–up stairs, it's a
one–bedroom affair with kitchen and bath, without TV.
Free for three weeks from 2. June until 21. June. Write to
'Ed' who will
forward. Uncle Den–Den will reply with a snazzy
info–photo.

Headline of the Week

There were few striking headlines of the week in Le
Parisien and none more confused than today's 'Qui va
faire quoi.' This is about next Monday's disappeared
holiday of Pentecôte, the day of solidarity with
France's old folks.

Everybody is supposed to work on this national 'day off'
and the tax revenue from it is supposed to go into a big
fund to buy air conditioners before the next killer
heatwave. Instead, some of the French feel that the
government has no business decreeing when they have to give
up a statutory holiday and work for nothing. The Germans
have been doing it for ten years but this just doesn't
impress the French.

The Latest Café Metropole
Club 'Report'

Last Thursday's club meeting came out as 'A Smell of Frites' in the
report. The smell was faint and out on the street while
inside the café a gang of us lounged around whiling
away an afternoon, spinning out a meeting with the windows
open, until it was time to go on to other things, elsewhere
in the evening of Paris.

The next Thursday meeting of the Café Metropole
Club will be on a Thursday, around the same time as every
week. The Saint's 'Day of the Week' will be
Saint–Achille. This 'Saint of the Week' – Greek
for 'nice lips' – was a Homeric character, but also
the bishop of Thessaloniki who helped out with the Council
of Nicaea in 325, and ended up in Bulgaria.

More, somewhat different but vague facts about the club
are on view on the 'About the
Club' page. The ragged design of the club membership
card on this page looks as much like a membership card as
any other expired Orange card, but it isn't. Entirely free,
the club membership itself is virtually real, except when
you join in person on any Thursday.

This Was
Metropole One Year Ago

Issue 9.19 – 3. May
2004 – this issue's Café Metropole column
was headlined, 'The Kazoo Race – Too Big To
Understand.' The week's 'Feature of the Week' concerned,
'May Day 2004 – Four Parades Instead of One.' The
other 'Feature of the Week,' about the terrific slogan
contest, was titled 'And Now for the Winners! – of
the Bumper–Sticker Slogan Contest.' There was a
repeat Scène column with the title, 'Par Amour de
l'Art, and Thread Trips.' The update for the 6. May meeting
of the Café Metropole
Club heralded the "That's Only a Truck–stop!" report.
There were four full–zen 'Posters of the Week' and
Ric's weekly cartoon was a breath of air about 'Air, Spring
Air!'

This Was Metropole Three Years Ago

Issue 7.19 – 6. May
2002 – in this issue the Café Metropole
column was about 'No 'Good Old Days' for Paris.' The week's
Au Bistro column screamed 'Election – France Wins!'
The single feature's headline was, 'Parisians Vote for May
Day 2002, Massively.' The report for the Café
Metropole Club meeting on 9. May was handled as the 'Best
Friends' Plus One, Minus One' report. There were four
average zen–cool 'Posters of the Week' and Ric's
Cartoon of the Week lit up the page with, "Emigrate to
Canada?"

A Little Cryptohistory

For the tenth time almost in a row, this is not about
some dusty old saint, but instead is a true myth.
This date in 1905 is not
the anniversary of the first Mother's Day, but of the
original mother, Anna Maria Reeves Jarvis. She
promoted pacifism and social activism, but it was her
daughter Anna Marie Jarvis who got Mother's Day put
on the calendar in 1914. However the fun wore off and she
campaigned against the commercialization of the day, blew
her inheritance on it, and died broke and bitter, because
lazy folks sent their moms printed cards instead of
handwritten notes.

The World Goes To Pot

Today marks the founding of the city of Reno,
Nevada, 137 very long years ago. Not to be outdone,
Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show opened in London a
mere 19 years later. Jeanne d'Arc also led a gang
that defeated the British who were besieging
Orléans, but that was in a different century, in
1429. In the 20th century Johnny Logan won the
fabled Eurovision Song Contest held in Brussels in 1987
with the smash hit, 'Hold Me Now.' Not to be trumped,
Linda Martin singing in Malmö in 1992, won the
same contest with the totally unforgettable, 'Why Me.' If
Friedrich Schiller had been a songwriter, he would
have turned over in his grave in 1805.

Remembering 9.
May

In 1950 when Europe was still completely wrecked and
still smoking, Robert Schuman made his modest
proposal, which has more or less led over time to what we
have now, the European Union and the cash, called the
'€uro' for short. Schuman's declaration is generally
known
as the 'Schuman declaration' today, but nobody is required
to memorize or salute it.

Some Other 'Notable Dates
of the Week'

There are only 236 days left of this year. This is
exactly the same number of 'days left,' as at this time in
the year 1502 when Cristoforo Colombo sailed away
from Cadiz on his fourth and last trip to America or
anywhere. This is completely unconnected to the fact that
this year has used up 129 days, the same number that 1754
had when the first political cartoon appeared in
Benjamin Franklin's 'Pennsylvania Gazette.' It
showed a sorry snake hacked in pieces, with the caption,
"Join or Die."