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My 2013 Christmas in Pictures

This is a very heavy metal clamp. On December 23, I broke my rule of never walking barefoot in the garage. I just needed to readjust the clamps on some Birdseye Maple. Why wear shoes? I thought, as it would only take me a minute. (See next photo for aftermath of my poor decision not to wear shoes.)

This what a toe looks like when it’s fractured in three places, like dropping a rock on ice, crack. Luckily the doctor was working Christmas Eve morning. I was one of several patients who had broken a toe the night before. I can also add that when the clamp scored the direct hit, it hurt – a lot, making me nauseous for a minute. After it happened I walked a few miles on my treadmill and was surprised how much pain a toe can cause. Yes, I’m an idiot. Now I have a walking boot, which I haven’t really used much, choosing instead to limp around as punishment for being so stupid.

When you put me in charge of decorating the Christmas tree this is what happens: Broncos ornaments get prime placement and a lucky troll joins the party.

This is my Christmas haul. Once again, I made out like a bandit and am the luckiest person in the world. My daughter also gave me a hip California shirt, but it didn’t make the picture because it’s in the wash. I did tell my wife that she didn’t need her own stud finder because it’s pretty easy to find me. She rolled her eyes (yes, it’s a miracle she married me). That’s it. Another Christmas spent outside the hospital. Winner, Winner, holiday turkey dinner. Happy New Year.