Norm!

The phrase every reporter seems to know.

The New Normal is the new comedy from Glee’s Ryan Murphy,” relays Paste magazine. “The New Normal is two dads,” says the website of the Houston Chronicle. “If gay is the new normal,” asks the Times of London, “where does that leave straight?” “Gay is the new normal,” restates Details, flatly. “Transgender is the new normal,” sniffs Catholic Insight. Baltimore’s City Paper and the Chicago Reader stake their own claims: “Black is the new normal,” says one. “Nerdy is the new normal,” says the other.

The Orange County Register interjects to mention how it once read that Julianne Moore has said that “cosmetic surgery is the new normal.” “HPV,” says Glamour. “It really is the new normal.” (“Self-absorbed is the new normal,” mutters Jezebel.) “For waxing, 12 years old is the ‘new normal,’ ” says Today. “Puberty before age 10,” the New York Times wonders, “a new normal?”

“The old ‘creepy’ is the new normal,” says Buzzfeed.

Newsweek wants to talk about the big picture. “Since the financial panic of 2008, ‘the new normal’ has become conventional wisdom,” it explains. “That phrase has caught on, even if people disagree about what it means,” agrees The Economist.

“‘The new normal’ is the new vexing news-speak for matters that are rotten,” notes Counterpunch, the radical newsletter. “Mark how ‘the new normal’ only refers to degeneration and deterioration—political, economic, social, cultural, environmental, and so on.” A press release by Lake Superior State University joins the dissent. “Often, hosts on TV news channels use the phrase shortly before introducing some self-help guru who gives glib advice to the unemployed and other people having financial difficulties.”

“Uncertainty is the new normal,” says USA Today, repurposing a sentiment from a self-help book called Credibility: How Leaders Gain It and Lose It, Why People Demand It. “The old order has been so shaken that it has become impossible to describe exactly what the present or future holds.” Nevertheless, guesses are ventured: