Loving Waters

By Summer Bacon

[After ending a difficult relationship in March 2008, I moved to San Diego to be with my friend, Steve, whom I'd known since the age of 12. Steve is a Dive Master. Sadly, this relationship ended too, but life goes on. Steve will always be in my heart, and we remain great friends to this day. God is good.]

Steve and I headed down to a little cove in La Jolla. He'd just zipped me up into my wetsuit which was a couple of sizes too big, but snug enough that not too much water would seep in, except at the legs. It was a warm day, and we were just going snorkeling, not deep sea diving anyway.

I'm not sure what those things were that he had me put on my feet. A type of insulated slipper, I suppose, and they were also a couple of sizes too big. I clutched my flippers and our towels, and flip-flopped my way down the slippery stairs to the shore. A woman in a bikini was the first vision to greet us. She looked like she'd just stepped off the cover of Cosmo, and looked radiant and beautiful as she tossed her sexy brown hair in the sunshine. I silently groaned. She gleefully jiggled her perky parts, and bounded into the water with her boyfriend, daintily lifting her long brown legs up and over the small crashing waves.

By now, my hair was a huge ball of frizz. I already had sand and gunk in my eyes as I squinted against the ocean glare, and I squish-squished my way across the sand in my too big snorkeling slippers. I tossed our towels onto a ten inch patch of the only dry sand on the beach. Typical me, I'll pretty much pray about anything, and so I said a silent prayer to God to keep our towels dry. There's no request too small for God to handle. I was pretty sure I was going to need to bundle myself up in those towels later.

Steve spat into our goggles (or are they called masks?)...a kind of natural defogger. "You can rinse it out in a few minutes," he said, as he handed me my goggles, "Here, try these on." I slipped the goggles on, and my hair was everywhere, in the goggles, in my mouth, in my eyes. Steve laughed and said, "Try it again. Hold your hair back. You need a snug fit." Boy, did I feel like a dorkfish. Another try, and we got a snug fit with my bangs fanning out over the top end of the mask. This sport is not for the vain. I felt my top lip bulging from the pressure of the mask under my nose (okay, it's a mask), and when I talked, it sounded like I had a cold. Steve just grinned, looked at me lovingly, then offered me a snorkel which I gingerly shoved into my mouth, and then clenched it between my teeth. I felt like I was attempting to eat the wide end of a ketchup bottle. Oh yeah...that Cosmo girl had nothin' on me now!

"Good!" Steve exclaimed, "Now, take those things off. We'll go into the water past the big breakers, and then put on our flippers. Just hold onto me." I dropped the mask so that it dangled around my neck, and then it knocked me in the chin with every step I took. The idea of somehow dragging myself through the rough water past the breakers was daunting, but I wasn't about to show any fear or concern. I am strong. I am woman! I wanted Steve to be proud of me. I'm not a wimp. I'd show him just how confident I could be.

We no sooner got into the water up to our knees (after considerable sloshing about, with me now clinging to Steve for dear life, as I was barely able to stay vertical...the buoyancy of the wetsuit and the diving slippers throwing me totally off balance) when I saw a familiar shape slicing its way through the water. Fins on its back, a broad snout, wide tail..."Holy shit, Steven!" I jumped, and nearly walked on water, "Is that a shark?"

Steve calmly looked about, "Where? Oh yeah...it's a leopard shark."

"Well, is it dangerous? Oh my God..." I grabbed his arm hard, and practically scaled his body to scramble to safety, as the shark made another pass near us. Then, I noticed they were everywhere. It was leopard shark mania! Dozens of sharks swam around us as Steve coaxed me to walk deeper into the water. "C'mon, we need to get past the breakers. Walk backwards. And, no they're not dangerous. I mean, they could be if you teased them, or stepped on one of them, I suppose. But, no they're not dangerous."

I took deep breaths to calm myself, and tried to see the simple beauty of the sharks, as I reminded myself to not step on them. I trusted Steve completely, and if he thought that there was any danger, he would not be dragging me into the ocean to become shark chum.

I'd been snorkeling in Hawaii when I was twelve years old, but the murky, turbulent water in La Jolla was a whole different adventure. In Hawaii, my brother, Britt, and I would swim a mile out and oogle at the fishes, coral and other creatures that were in the warm, calm, clear tropical waters. I was never afraid, and could even gracefully walk down the shore in my flippers and dive into the water, swimming with ease. But, this? This was nothing like that tropical paradise. Somehow, with a lot of help from Steve, I managed to pull on my flippers, face mask, and pop the snorkel into my mouth, and then he gestured to me to head off into the water. I put my face into the water and was instantly in a whole other world. All I saw was sand and algae stirred up by the turbulent water, and sharks in a feeding frenzy just feet below me. I inhaled, and immediately took in a mouth full of salt water. I gagged and gasped and came up for air.

"Are you holding it between your teeth? Make sure you have a tight fit," Steve coached me. I tried again, and again my mouth filled with water. Now I was scared and confused. I struggled to stay afloat until I realized I could stand on the ocean floor. I couldn't be this helpless, could I?

After a brief assessment, Steve figured out that my mouthpiece was broken. I wasn't such a dorkfish after all. He swapped snorkels, and finally I could put my face into the water and breathe.

Okay, so I wasn't exactly Brooke Shields in The Blue Lagoon, but I have to admit the next part of this adventure was pretty romantic. Steven held my hand, as we swam a little farther out into the ocean, avoiding the kayaking tourists who seemed wholly unaware of our presence as they paddled their boats aimlessly through the water.

I admit, Steve did most of the swimming. I had a hard time remembering to kick and stroke my way through the water. The sights and sounds and sensations were so overwhelming. Steve gently pulled me along, pointing the way, and periodically making the okay sign with his fingers to make sure I was okay. I nodded and made the okay sign to let him know I was fine. He pointed out the sharks, and after a time I found myself entranced by their movements. They were absolutely beautiful. Leopard sharks have beautiful brown leopard spots, and undulate through the water so gracefully. They are also very shy, moving away from us if we so much as attempted to get a little closer. One shark boldly swam past us, almost skimming our legs, and we both got so excited we took off after it. I could see the joy in Steve's eyes. He has such love and respect for the ocean.

Through the murky water, I could finally see the ocean floor. The sand looked like desert dunes. Sea grass grew tall and waved wildly as if in the wind. Kelp and seaweed floated on the surface of the water, and Steve simply plowed through it, not even attempting to pull it away from his face, while I fought every strand. He did an underwater demonstration, and showed me how strong the ropes of seaweed can be, pulling hard at one of the ropes with both of his hands. Then he took his finger and bent the rope and it snapped easily. I knew that if I ever got entangled in the stuff, all I'd have to do is snap my way to freedom. This put me at ease.

As we held hands, I felt more confident and comfortable, slowly becoming mesmerized by this underwater world. Steve pointed out fishes of all kinds. There was one fish that he calls a "grumpy fish," otherwise known as a Garibaldi damselfish, which is a bright orange fishy with lots of personality. I watched as it cast a backwards glance at us, then shook its head in annoyance. It looked just like a puppy dog shaking water off of its fur. I laughed through my snorkel.

A giant crab was partially tucked under the sand, and I marveled as I watched it move sideways, uncertain whether what I was seeing was real. The underwater environment was so surreal, and the creatures camouflaged themselves so well, it was hard to tell if I was really seeing all of those eyeballs peering out at me through the sea grass. There was a definite sense that we were being watched and observed as much as we were watching and observing.

I saw a beautiful multi-colored neon fish, about seven inches long. It checked out its reflection in my mask for a moment, then quickly swam away. A big, clear, bottom dwelling fish stopped and turned to look at us. The fish looked absolutely befuddled. Then, I swear it shrugged its shoulders as if to say, "Oh well...whatever...just a couple of dumb humans," and then waddled its way down the ocean highway.

It wasn't the array of colors and light that I saw in Hawaii. These waters were eerie and mysterious. I could only see about ten to fifteen feet in front of me, and I had moments of wondering what giant man-eating creatures might be lurking there. As it did for many people, the movie Jaws seems to have tainted my love and trust of the ocean forever. We swam into a cold pocket of deep water, and I felt fear suddenly creep in as more leopard sharks swam beneath me. The cold water seeped up through my wet suit, cooling my thighs. My mask felt strangely tight around my head, and as the sea grass waved wildly, I suddenly lost my sense of direction. Down was up, up was down, and I could have been miles offshore for all I knew. I clung tightly to Steve. He turned to face me and took both of my hands. Then he let go, and motioned to me to just float and breathe. The sensation was wonderful once I was able to surrender to the rhythm and motion of the water. I looked around in wonder at the life that was there, and had the thought, "I'm not looking at an aquarium, I'm in the aquarium!"

I felt more relaxed, and Steve took my hand again, and gestured for us to swim in another direction. The water was warmer, but still there was this dark, murky, unknown world just feet away from us. The fear crept in again, and this time I prayed. "God, I don't want to be afraid. Please help me." I attempted to focus only on the wonder of what I was seeing and experiencing, and then I heard a voice...a beautiful, soothing, feminine voice.

"Summer, there's nothing to fear. Remember? You prayed for me."

It was the ocean talking to me! I remembered. Just last June in Laguna Beach, I'd done a channeling, prayer, meditation and toning for Mother Earth. And, the proceeds were donated to two organizations that work to rescue the creatures of the ocean. I was safe! I had no karma here. Suddenly I felt blissfully relaxed, and even a bit full of myself. For a moment I had the thought, "Gee, I wonder, then, if we might even have an amazing and unusual experience here? Maybe a gift from the ocean in return for my kindness to her!" Within seconds, Steve and I turned in another direction just in time to see an octopus, about three feet long, jet its way in front of us. My eyes popped in amazement, uncertain whether I really saw what I saw, or whether it was just a really fast moving piece of seaweed. An octopus! I'd always wanted to see an octopus in the ocean! Wow! What a gift!

Later Steve told me that it was extremely rare to see an octopus at the time of day that we were snorkeling. He was so excited, and we both felt very blessed by having that experience together.

Eventually, the cold and over-stimulation of all the elements and new experiences caught up with me. I heard Steve's voice in my head saying over and over again, "Summer, the ocean is very safe, but very unforgiving." He meant that you never take chances or push the limits when you are in the water. I felt a small piece of sea grass stuck to my face mask. I was disoriented and cold, and this little piece of sea grass was annoying. I was tired, and tried to swipe the little strand away with my hand. I felt this amazing electrical tingling sensation creep up my hand and my arm. It didn't hurt, it felt interesting. It was also very timely, because it snapped me out of my exhaustion and stupor, and I nearly jumped out of the water at the shock. I knew I'd probably touched a jelly fish tentacle. Steve made the okay sign, and I shook my head, "No."

"What's up?" he asked as we bobbed on the waves.

"I'm cold," I finally admitted.

He didn't hesitate, and grabbed my hand, pulling me hard as he swam full force toward the shore with me in tow. When he was able to stand, he quickly pulled off my mask and snorkel, laid me back on the water, and told me to remove my flippers, all the while reassuring me that he was proud of me, and that I did a good job for my first time snorkeling adventure. It seemed like salt water was seeping in everywhere, in my eyes, mouth, wetsuit. I coughed and gagged, and I was really tired. He pulled me closer to shore until I could stand up.

It was high tide, and very little sand was exposed on the shore. We were certain our towels were soaked, if not already washed out into the ocean. Amazingly, God answered my prayer, and that little ten inch patch of sand was still dry, and so were our towels, although the surrounding water was two to three inches deep.

We sloshed our way up the stairs back to the car where I stripped of my wetsuit, down to the thin leotard lining. Steve wrapped me in a big warm coat, and made me eat cling peaches and drink water, though I protested that I was "fine." I laughed when I realized how matted and sand filled my hair had become. I attempted to run my fingers through it, but it was hopeless. Instead I pulled a long, wide piece of kelp out of the tangled mess and offered it to Steve as a souvenir. Steve laughed and smiled and assured me that I was now a bonafide California beach babe. What a guy.

We got back to his house and he told me to go upstairs and get into the shower in my leotard. "Don't even bother taking it off until you get into the shower." He was adamant, and I was confused. I thought, "Sheesh. I'm fine." Then I saw my face in the mirror. My lips were blue! I stood in the shower for a long time before I even realized that the water was warm.

Visions of our ocean adventure together swam in front of my eyes. I was in total bliss, and realized that I was now also a bonafide ocean addict.

I'd faced one of my greatest fears when I swam with the leopard sharks, and I'd also had one of my greatest dreams come true. Many years ago I visited the Baltimore aquarium...possibly one of the most fascinating places I've ever experienced. They had a shark display that was absolutely huge and so beautiful. I remember thinking how much I'd love to be able to swim with the sharks. They are so peaceful and beautiful. They seem so confident and self assured...the very things that I yearn to have more of in my life. The lesson of the leopard shark was such a gift. "Respect me, and I will respect you."

Of course, I'm not so confident that I ever care to encounter Jaws in the wild, but I can certainly envision myself sitting on the ocean floor, breathing oxygen from a tank, and oogling at the wonders that are under the sea. It's a vision that will soon come true. Steve is a Dive Master, and I should be getting my scuba diving certification in a few weeks.

When I started this year, I never would have imagined the adventures God had planned for me. After the initial heartbreak of one relationship ending, and a battle with suicidal thoughts and desire, I was suddenly given the gift of revived friendship and love of Steve, someone I had known since the age of nine. I have prayed hard for the next step in my life, uncertain how to proceed. In May I threw my hands up and said, "God, give me beauty for the ashes of my life!" I then released my expectations of having to know the next step, and surrendered to God's greater plan for my life. And, as always, God hasn't let me down. God has revealed to me a world of wonder that I never would have known if I'd given up on life (and, I assure you, it was very tempting to give up). God has told me in no uncertain terms that if I want to grow, I need to be able to confidently step out into His loving waters, and dive deeper into myself, knowing that I am safe.

The world is a wonderland of opportunities. Don't ever give up on yourself or on God. When the going gets tough, make a pizza, learn a new language, or surrender to the simple wonders of nature. The earth is our home, and there are lots of nooks and crannies to be explored. It doesn't take a lot of money or time. It simply takes the willingness to dive in, and do it.

Please Read This Important Note:The interaction between you and Dr. Peebles today is a spiritual adventure, and I do hope that you enjoy it. The following disclaimer is intended to clarify a few points about the intended purpose of the guidance you may receive from Dr. Peebles. Dr. Peebles will answer questions on a variety of subjects, including health. He was a naturopath, and Civil War surgeon during his life on earth. But he obviously can't be considered a licensed physician from the other side. So please understand that any healing suggestions that he makes are from a spiritual perspective and they're in no way intended to replace the recommendations, advice, guidance, and prescriptions offered by your medical providers. Please use your own discretion and discernment regarding all matters discussed with Spirit, and any of the information received from Dr. Peebles. The way in which the information is received and applied in your life is, of course, your sole responsibility.