Tag: mums

Let’s face it, we all want an easier life, especially when it comes to the dreaded housework!

With two kids running around constantly, I do resent having to clean for hours, for them only to ruin it with god knows what from god knows where. I’d feel a lot happier if it hadn’t taken me as long, and if I had some awesome cleaning hacks to make life easier!

My Mother-In-Law once told me, a friend of hers used to give herself 10 minutes per hour, to get as much as she could done off her list-that way she wasn’t spending hours doing the same room. This does not work for me!

So yesterday, after what actually happened to be a rather mundane day after the events on Wednesday, I received an email from a lovely lady at Tommy’s!

Basically, myself and Tommy’s have worked together for a little while, with them running campaigns to raise awareness for baby loss and other pregnancy issues, and me, well, I blog about them.

The email said I’ve been shortlisted for a Mums Voice Award, at the Tommy’s Awards 2017.

This award is given to a Mum, who has spoken out about her own pregnancy experiences, and in doing so has helped and given hope and support to others.

I have been invited to the awards ceremony next March, which will be hosted by Giovanna Fletcher, and I’ve obviously confirmed I’ll go!

The winners will be announced early next year, and, although its not the main factor of how they choose their winner, there is a way you can get involved.

In order to help decide the winner, Tommy’s have asked me to ask my readers (that’s you beautiful lot) to email mumsvoice@tommys.org, with the subject line “Mayflower Blogs”, and a sentence about why you’d love me to win the award!
I’d just like to add, this is beyond a dream to me.

Most people will know, the reason I blog, and the reason I started blogging, was because, based on my own experiences, I know how hard it was to lose one baby, then two, then three, and feel so terribly alone, with no one who knew what I was going through to talk to. I couldn’t sit by and watch others go through that, and I knew, if just one person in a similar situation read my blog, and felt less alone, then I’d helped.
To be shortlisted for this award based on that reason, is testament to why I write what I write, and I’m eternally grateful for Tommy’s putting me forward for it, and for those that vote for me who believe I deserve it.

Why don’t you like me?
Is this a question I should be asking at 29 years old?

Shouldn’t I have all the friends I need and no issues with people at my age?!
I spent my whole childhood being bullied. Being told what was wrong with me, how ugly I was, how badly I dressed, how bad my hair was. When I left school, I assumed I would be free to start a new me, a me who is accepted, liked and wanted.

It would appear, however, things are not that simple.

Instead of starting a new better me, I’m a new worse me.

I HATE myself. Genuinely, I cannot bear who I am now.

I am more disliked by people than liked. I don’t know why. (I’d have a bloody good guess though!)

I change my hair, my make up, my clothes to attempt to fit in and look better. It doesn’t work.

I have massive insecurities and issues that I can’t change, and instead of people just taking me for my personality and who I am, I have those things held against me.
I drag myself to places where I know there’ll be people who I know have had negative conversations about me, but because I don’t know how to change people’s ideas of me, I just go along, knowing what they think, which ends up serving to bring my mood even lower.

Do you know what makes these situations harder?

The fact that none of you know me.

Just in case you were reading this thinking you do know me, even my closest friends have very little idea of what I think or how I feel most of the time.
Maybe you presume to know me because you’ve seen me twice a day for 20 minutes? Or because I see you once a year for special occasions? Maybe because I’m friends with someone you’re friends with, and you think because they bitch about me to you sometimes, that gives YOU the reason to dislike me by association?

Is it because I update my Facebook a lot, do you think you know me from that?

Or maybe it’s plainly because you’ve heard stuff about me, that you don’t care to be true or false, just that its detrimental to the idea of me, and therefore you MUST dislike me immensely.

I’ve been told so many times;

“Don’t worry about what others think of you.”

“Rise above it.”

“It says a lot more about them than it does you.”

I do worry. Day in day out. It consumes me.

I can’t rise above it. I try. But I can’t.

What does it say about them? To me it screams that they’ve made their minds up. That I failed.
I’d love to end this blog with an inspiring message of “I won’t let you win”, or “I am who i am”.
But I can’t. I just can’t.

On days weeks when the dislike has been so constant and powerful, when the thoughts about others perceptions are so consuming and debilitating, I just can’t.