In His Own Words

Generally I write about what’s going on in my life as a mother and writer and I’m pretty PG, but in honor of Memorial Day I wanted to share something with you. I was e-mailing with a friend in Kuwait in 2011 and I asked what it was like, REALLY LIKE. His response is so raw and honest that it burns. The daily sacrifice. And, is totally middle school potty humor. I appreciate his sharing and I hope you will too. I considered cleaning up the grammar, but left it in his own words.

No, actually i have never skydived i have always wanted to go but the conditions were never right or a training mission took over. but i am also scared because i have an addictive personality and adrenaline is my worst drug. it gets me in trouble all the time. i think my smart mouth is like the supplement my body puts out cause im waiting on someone else to get pissed off so i talk a lot of trash and i live on that high waiting to see what they will fire back with. ……so skydiving would only awaken that sleeping beast! i would also want to do the hole flying squirrel thing.

Lets see since im not on any kind of military duty and im a civilian i wake up about 7:30 in the morning to a bunch of dudes laughing about farting (it’s funny i laugh also) then i climb down out of the top bunk and onto a concrete floor which is actually cool on my feet covered in socks, i put on pants. pick up my shoes shake them out facing down hopefully no spiders or scorpions climbed in there during the night. once that is cleared i put on my shoes grab a bottle of water 16 oz swallow that down its room temperature about 75 maybe 78 degrees grab another water bottle grab my tooth brush and toothpaste and walk out side to the latrines (bathroom) from my tent that holds 14 dudes. (now walking outside is a little different from when you walk outside every morning. to get the full spectrum wait until 2-4 pm in maryland on a sunny day go and place a mirror on your door step that faces up and wait in total darkness then just run out side once you’ve been in the total darkness for at least 30 min maybe that will give you the full spectrum but i doubt it) but anyways when you walk outside and you’ve been in total darkness and you don’t have sunglasses on you will think god is calling you home it is so bright!!! so now your walking to the latrine and its about 116 give or take, like when you open the oven to remove a pizza and the heat hits you in a wave. its hot! the same thing is happening all day no humidity but just waves and waves of heat it sounds bad but as long as your not out there between 12-4 you’ll be fine ive gotten use to but i grew up in Alabama < notice i capitalized Alabama and not maryland. i also want to point out i tried to use as much grammar as i knew just for you! so now your at the sink in a trailer that just stinks of urine and poop but im immune thank god i grew up on the farm so now you ready to brush your teeth. Oops, wait a second there high speed, you can’t use the water. you dont want to get sick so you pull out that extra water bottle you grabbed in the tent yup you brush your teeth with bottled water cause the water here in kuwait yup a place we liberated! you cant even trust them to clean the water correctly in an area that’s surronded by desert! you can’t expect clean water so you finish with your teeth and head back out into the oven!! now go drop of your toothbrush and stuff back at the tent that smells of feet and ass!! that you slept in, meet your buddies who you meet due to the company being big as it is who also work on helicopters Chevy: retired army active infantry 4 yrs air assault and 4 years chinook and Patrick: 4 yrs kiowa crew chief,
now say a few jokes so they know your spirits are up cause they are. (your spirits) i mean your making really good money to do what you like anyways right so keep on trucking now walk maybe a foot ball field to chow (breakfast) that was cooked in the same water you just didn’t brush your teeth with, you smile and take your tray all the while thinking if i puke this food up ill kill you, you fucking dick because that means you have yup, you guessed it, an amoeba and yup you could die. you are very thank full while eating your food that you live in America where you are protected by regulations and penalties against poisioned food. eat chow yup its still not seating right stop thinking about bad food you’ll just get sick and plus if you are sick you’ll know cause you will be playing musical chairs trying to figure out if your gonna puke or poop or both at the same time.
you dont want to be the guy who got taken away a month ago cause the food and had his STOMACH CUT OPEN AND CLEANED OUT CAUSE HE WAS SO SICK!.
now you finish chow tell more jokes go back to the rack (combination of tent and your bunk bed) get some more sleep that you didnt get before cause of announcements not the bad ones with sirens but the ones saying so and so is needed at the front for his or her flight to bargrahm or kandahar Afghanistan
sleep
sleep

sleep!
and……
sleep some more!
something is poking me in the back!
oh whats up, Chevy!?
want to go to the green bean( star bucks)?
sure now i’m typing to you maybe ill finish this when and if we fly out to kandahar tonight also i want to point out this sounds bad
but im not a deployed soldier im a deployed civilian so those guys have it way way worse!!!
because i repot to no one right now not until i get to kandahar to work on chinooks.

i mean the heat sucks and luckily i can escape it to go into a tent or something my hat is off to the infantry who are in it every day