The Jomad’s Journey

This is my obligatory “how I found CrossFit” explanation. I didn’t want to encumber my “about me” page with the long, personal story, but in case you’re interested, this is it:

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve never been an athlete. When it came to physical encounters, I always took the easy way out. I had bad asthma as a kid, so I was excused to sit in the nurse’s office, hooked up to one of those mechanical inhalers for a half an hour while the other kids ran laps during P.E. In high school, I avoided the physical education requirement by taking three years of marching band. And, in college, I fulfilled our “fitness” course requirements with “The Art of Relaxation,” and “The Alexander Technique.”*

In my senior year of college, I discovered P90x. Honestly, I don’t even remember how I came across it, but I bought a set of secondhand DVDs, some dumbbells, and woke up every day an hour before my classes to follow Tony Horton and his happy, smiling cast. At the time, I was also trying to write a short story collection for my honors thesis– my first 100-paged writing project crammed into a semester because I had decided (unwisely) to graduate early. I found that exercising countered the stressful, isolating affect of continual writing, and I learned to rely on these hours of push-ups and jumping jacks and Tony-Pterodactyls to get me through the day.

I was lucky enough at this point to find FitBomb‘s blog just as he finished his first round of P90x. I followed him then through Tony Horton’s one-on-one DVDs and Insanity. When I started grad school, I was probably on round five or six of Insanity– a terrible idea. I was doing something around 6 days a week of plyometric work. My knees were shot, and I couldn’t walk down stairs without them screaming. It was time for a change.

I remembered that FitBomb had moved on from Beachbody DVDs to CrossFit, and– lucky for me– a CrossFit gym was just about to open in the tiny college town where I’d migrated for graduate school.

I was immediately smitten. After two years of working out to DVDs in my own apartment, I was invigorated by the experience of working out with other people. I’d finally moved off the bench and become part of a team– or at least, a motley assortment of central PA students who spent their weekday mornings goofing off with medballs and (at that time) a single rower. The gym has evolved substantially since then. We now have six concept2’s, a fully equipped Rogue rack, two GHDs, many sets of rings, med balls, smash balls, atlas stones, etc… I’d like to think that I’ve grown along with it.

I made (and continue to make) many mistakes when I first started CrossFit. I have never been an athlete, but I’ve always been an excellent student. In life, if ever I wanted to achieve something, I attacked it by applying as much time and effort and research as I could. I translated late-nighters with textbooks and essays into long mornings of instructional youtube videos and mutli-WOD days at the gym. In the classic tale of overtraining, I saw virtually no gains in those first few months. I was exhausted before every workout, and my already pathetic lifts seemed to be getting weaker.

I was lucky enough to have caring, observant coaches who took me aside and forced into my stubborn mind the fact that I was going about things all wrong. That if I didn’t take rest days, if I didn’t train more strategically, I was basically practicing self-defeat. But it took a long while for me to process that message.

A favorite writer of mine told me that proclaiming herself a writer felt like “burning down a forest.” The act of declaring herself a writer, of admitting that she would tackle this seemingly-impossible career, felt at once epic, beautiful, and destructive. (I feel the same way about writing, but that’s a different story.) For me, considering myself an athlete had a similar effect. At least, admitting that I’m trying to become an athlete, felt similarly impossible and grand and… fantastical.

Though my coaches explained the principles of overtraining, I still didn’t fully understand. More was better, right? If I had the will to participate, if I had the heart to throw myself into every metcon until I had to be scraped off the floor, why shouldn’t I? Despite all rationality, I felt compelled to do the workout written on the whiteboard, as if its inscription obliged me in some way.

After months of frustration, I finally discovered the root of my mental block—what divides the average gym-attendee from the actual athlete. For most of the population, going to the gym is a habitual practice for weight loss or body maintenance. It is part of a routine for general fitness, where blind repetition is the norm. The athlete, however, trains differently—because he has specific goals. After that revelation, I began pinpointing my weaknesses and targeting them. I realized that some mornings were better spent doing a handful of power cleans for technique rather than wearing my body down for the sake of doing so. It still stuns me sometimes, how easy it is to lose self-awareness. I didn’t even know why I wanted to wear myself to the ground everyday, just that that seemed like the “right” thing to do.

That’s where the oft-praised communal aspect of CrossFit comes into play– how it has remarkably encouraged conversation and communication in fitness. When I was flailing around in my apartment with day after day of tuck jumps and suicides, I had no frame of reference, no one to turn to, and no source of wisdom to tell me that I was doing it completely wrong. At the box, however, I had coaches to watch and help me decide when to scale up or scale down– when to push, and when to pull back. I had fellow CrossFitters who needed to confront their own fears and limitations, and together we could commiserate. I even had my blogs– I got to sympathize with FitBomb’s restlessness as he nursed his torn back, choosing caution despite his own impatience.

I hope, by throwing my thoughts and words into the ether, I’ll help further that conversation. Predictably, CrossFit has shown me how strong I can be– how I can surprise myself and breach perceived boundaries– but it’s also taught me to seek help when I need it, to admit weaknesses when I find them, and to reach for others for mutual support. Who knows, maybe I’ll convert a few fitness-dvd junkies of my own :).

Thanks for reading, and keeping killing it,

– The Jomad

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*The Alexander Technique is actually kind of interesting in theory. In class, all we did was practice sitting and standing for 40 minutes a day, but I think actual practitioners of it might actually be able to impact our health and wellness…

After years of stalking the periphery of the CrossFit blog community, I’ve decided to add my voice to the fray. The Basics: – I am a graduate student, writer, writing instructor, and Crossfit Coach in Central Pennsylvania – I have been CrossFitting since June 2011, when my box, CrossFit LionHeart, first ... Continue reading →