In this Discussion

I'm a 53 year old male in very good physical condition. I received my massager about 5 days ago and have not yet reached either the "anal" or "whole body" orgasm. I've had about 4 sessions. I think I came close to the edge but was not able to "get there". I've read the instructions carefully and have followed them to the letter. I suspect I may have tried too hard on my first two sessions. The time when I came close occurred after taking the recommended relaxed approach I've read in previous posts. So, I have a few questions. Is it normal to have a "learning curve" period or should I have had some success by now? Also, I've read the massager should be suspended in lubricant. Should I be inserting lube inside my rectum or just insure lube is applied well to the massager and anus. I'm a little confused about the contractions mentioned in the first part of stage 2 in the instructions. How strong should these be? Lastly, what is the advisability of doing contraction exercises at other times when I'm not using the massager? Sincere thanks for any replies.

Please read my post "a key to the backdoor.." it will give you an overview as I see it. To answer your questions specifically, no it is not unusual that you haven't had this Super Orgasm yet. Frankly, from the posts that I've read (over the last 10 months) it is rare indeed when it comes to you right away. Know this, it is a unique experience to you and therefore the time frame involved will be your own. For this reason, I have suggested to people that they view this all as a sensual journey for themselves and to try and remove (completely if possible) any time constraints and just enjoy all of the ride. Again, if you read my previous postings and those of others you will find out that there is some "un-learning" that you must do as well as some discoveries that you must make in order to go to this higher place. Is it worth it! Well... the journey is terrific is in its own right, and the Super O, well lets just say it will redefine things for you! But again, don't be obsessed with"it". Yes, there is most definately a "learning curve", although sometimes this expression implies something that is a chore....this most definately is not.

In so far as the manufacturers directions are concerned, they are, in my opinion, a good outline for getting started. But they are just that....an outline. A lot of what they are trying to do is to initiate those who are squeemish about anal stimulation into the world of this type of sensation. So you don't need to feel like you must follow anything that they have written to the letter. Again, it will get you started, but at some point you will make a departure from them and start to find your own way. This forum can be an excellent resource for you as well, here you have the accumulated experiences of many individuals who have made the same journey you're undertaking and have gone all they way, and also those of users who are still trying to find their way. Even in this however, one shouldn't get hung up on any one recipe for success, again, your way will be unique to you. So try it all and pick and choose what works for you! PATIENCE is a key here, take it from me, there is no faster road to failure than trying to MAKE THIS THING HAPPEN. It just won't work. I like to think more in terms of facilitating it or encouraging it to occur.

With regard to the amount of lubrication and where it should go. When starting out I think its best to have the maximum amount of lubrication possible, for two reasons; 1) it allows greater comfort if you are unaccustomed to anal play and 2) it allow the Aneros maximum mobility inside your body. This can be achieved easily by picking up one of those infant nasal syringes at the drug store. You want the type that has a removable tip (for purposes of filling it and cleaning ). I myself have always used KY as it is readily available everywhere. After you have introduced a syringeful directly into your rectum, also completely coat the body of the Aneros (just down to the ribs) with lubrication, Be careful to avoid getting the abutment tab or handle wet. VERY IMPORTANT. MAKE CERTAIN THAT YOUR PERINEUM IS DRY. Again, when you get to a certain point,(particularly once you start having the "involuntary contractions) it becomes essential that the abutment tab stay in position.

Regarding practicing without the Aneros? Sure! Try holding VERY small anal contractions, (contraction just slightly above the level of relaxation). In my approach, I use this type of contraction constantly. As a matter of fact, as I've stated previously, I call this a BASE LEVEL contraction. In many of my sessions I start with this contraction and release it very rarely. When I have a small to medium contraction I always return to this base level contract, not to relaxation. For me, this seems to facilitate those "involuntary contractions" or anal twitching that we all seek. These "involuntaries" are the building blocks of the Super Orgasm.So yes, you can experiement without the Aneros, and when you do, be sure to be open and aware of the sensations that come to you! That is,.... I'm contracting my anus but I feel a ticking sensation in my belly! Focus on it...make it happen again.

Here are my two cents, though I defer to B. Mayfield, who has been doing an incredible job describing what he has learned.

For lube insertion, also consider an infant medicine dropper. They have a 2 tsp capacity. 1 teaspoon is more than enough. An advantage of it is that you can insert it to prostate depth and apply the lube there.

For exercises, I found also that daily kegels really improve strength and sensitivity.

The most important thing i found is B. Mayfield's breathing suggestions. Do deep breathing and concentrate on the pleasure wave at the full depth of the inhale.

Are you talking about those droppers about 4 inches long that have the removable bulb on the end? If so, do they work with KY jelly or must it be something thinner like ID Glide or Wet or the KY liquid?

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I have read all of your posts and you are very generous in sharing your experience and advice. I’ve found your advice very helpful and I appreciate your Zen approach.

Is it safe? I don't want to have to go to a hospital to have the thing removed. What are the dimensions, and what is it made out of? Can it accidently break or become lodged in such a way that you can't pull it out?

Yes, the Aneros is absolutely safe and no it is not physically possible for it to become lost inside your rectum. There are two protrusions (a perineal tab and a looped handle) that extend outward from the base of the device that are set apart 180 degrees from one another that limit the extent of insertion. The Aneros is made of a surgical grade molded plastic that is hard to the touch but still maintains elasticity in the thinner areas. It is highly unlikely that it could break under any circumstances. It is approximately 4 inches in length and is a little over an inch in diameter at the widest part (the diameter of the device varies over its length).