Why January Birthdays Are The Worst (Happy Birthday To ME!)

Monday, 8 January 2018

Hello! Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah and Happy New Year and what'd I miss? It's been awhile, sorry!
Anyway, today, as some of us just begin to let go of the holiday fugue and force ourselves back to reality, is two weeks after Christmas exactly. I know this because it is also my birthday.

So yes, the truth is birthdays in January are, in my expert opinion, the WORST. "But wait, December birthdays are also tough!" I hear you say? Sure, I give you that. Double presents and your birthday being overshadowed - I admit, that is pretty sucky. But at least in December people are in the mood to celebrate! They are pre-conditioned to be in party mode, all cares of food and drink restrictions temporarily suspended because it's Christmas.

Whereas January, I mean Veganuary/Dry January/everyone is on a dumb health kick - yeah, no one wants to have any fun anymore. They have 31 days to detox and they are so pooooor. They're so tired after the holidays, you understand, they will totally be up for drinks in a month though (which almost never happens).

To be fair this year I am not much myself in the mood to party, having been fending off a cold for two weeks now not very successfully. But still, generally speaking, January birthdays get no love. Here are just a few of the slights we suffer!

( I dream of such raucous parties as Sophie's in Peep Show! ;-))

Things You Only Know if You Have a January Birthday

- Your birthday present (should you get one) is most likely going to be just a bit rubbish, and most likely wrapped in Christmas wrap. Chances are good it was a spur of the moment/no thought type present or maybe a re-gift. No birthday gift wrap for you, January baby! Santas and reindeer are birthday symbols to you! Most birthday presents you receive are prefixed with an "It was just Christmas you know/I didn't have time to shop...you understand though, sorry it's crap!" type disclaimer, raising your hopes absolutely sky high!

- You, however, have to smile and pretend to be delighted with any not so great birthday offerings you are lucky enough to receive, because it's super selfish of you to expect anything nice on your birthday because everyone is poor after Christmas, and your January birthday is just a pesky inconvenience, really!

-No one wants to party. A small dinner party is the best you can hope for, and most likely half the people won't turn up, because no one can be arsed leaving the house in January (as a kid this is slightly better, kids are always up for parties, to be honest my childhood wasn't too bad on this front, which set me up with unrealistic expectations for my adult birthdays being normal!).

- But you will learn to smile politely at the double Christmas birthday presents from numerous relatives as a kid, while all of your other friends and siblings (or in my case cousins) totally get real birthday presents from seemingly everyone they ever met.

- Your birthday seems enveloped with the rest of the festive season, it goes by in a fairly regularly uneventful blip. You might leave your tree up until your birthday as some sort of marker of prolonged festive cheer, but this loses its appeal eventually.

But really, I grump. The people near and dear to me do their best to avoid these January birthday tropes, and in truth as an introvert I mostly don't mind having a quieter birthday the older I get (and man....I am getting old! ;-)). I just thought I would write this for anyone else who has also suffered the indignities and also ran feeling that a January birthday can often incur. I feel your pain, fellow (mostly) Capricorns! Capricorns are known to be the grumpy old man of the zodiac sign anyway, another January perk, oh and yes, our birthstone is the rather hideous garnet, and our birthday flower is the lowly carnation*, I almost forgot.

So yes, I put forth January as the worst possible month to have a birthday, any challengers? :-)

6 comments

Ha, I use to think December babies had it the worst but after this post I don't know! You are so right about January being like the no fun month. Like for me, I personally don't feel like making any social engagements. I used up all my points in December..

Happy Birthday though!!! My one sister thought having a birthday in August was the worst growing up because it was during the summer, no friends to invite, before the internet and being able to connect with everyone 24/7, and she never got to have a classroom birthday (which I don't think they even have anymore...).

I can see why a summer b-day would stink when your sis was in school. It's funny how we would lose touch over the summer, I remember that "Have a Nice Summer!" thing on the last day of school, I bet kids don't even do that anymore? It's so easy now with the texting and the social media :-O

My birthday is around Easter. Working in heritage I always had to be at work on my birthday for Easter, even at the weekend while everyone else enjoyed extra days off. Also I had to dress as the Easter Bunny.

Happy birthday, Steff! The first of my close friend birthdays is in two days' time, and I've already warned her that she'll be getting a present after payday. But it's not going to be a crap one (it helps that I only do Christmas gifts with a couple of my very closest friends, so she deserves something special!).

My birthday is almost exactly at the mid-point of the year, so the only thing that ever bothered me when I was little was that my brother and sister had their birthdays four days apart and I was left out (and my nephew's is now in between theirs!). I still get birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper though... my mum doesn't like it going to waste... ;)

Thanks! I think the Christmas wrap in summer is somehow more fun! Whereas when the birthday is two weeks after Christmas like mine, it does lend to that "also ran" feeling of the January birthday ;-) x

About Me

Hi! I'm Steff. I'm an American who lives in Scotland. Expect me to write about a little bit of everything! My most recent passion is body positivity and learning to embrace health at any size. I am a film/t.v. addict and cancer survivor so I write about that sometimes too...no niche yet found! :-)