Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Luckily, He'll Have Plenty of Lubrication in Prison

Aw, gee, looks like Turd Stevens won’t get to serve in the Senate until he’s 90. All together, now…

Aw.

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Valdez), who never met an oil executive he didn’t beg to fellate, was indicted today by a grand jury for illegally hiding $250,000 in home renovation expenses that were believed to be paid for by VECO, an Alaskan oil company.

Those of you with somewhat better memories than Republicans may recall the hearing over two and a half years ago in which Ted Stevens, then the Chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, had a fit when Democrats insisted that the five oil executives called in to testify be sworn in.

VECO, VECO, where have I heard that name before? Oh yeah, here. Almost a year ago, we learned to little fanfare that the FBI was actively investigating why VECO got $170,000,000 in “arctic exploration” contracts despite having no experience to do it.

Amazingly, Stevens says that he's innocent and that he intends to prove it. Which may be slightly plausible to a few brain-damaged Eskimos whose brains have suffered hypothermia until one realizes who VECO was run by.

Like father, like son, Stevens’ son, Ben, was also named in former VECO CEO Bill Allen’s guilty plea to bribery charges last year, in which Stevens fils was said to have also pocketed about a quarter of a million dollars in "consulting fees" from VECO in gratitude for steering said lucrative contract VECO’s way.