Are you alive?

(Hopefully)

Are you alive?

(Hopefully)

If you answered yes, then you are eligible for stuff you have to be alive to be eligible for.

If you are dead, don't feel left out. If you lived a respectable life, you still might be eligible for stuff too. You could win the congressional medal of honor, or you could be eligible for a humongous tomb-stone, or a grand funeral.

YOU COULD BE ELIGIBLE FOR

ROBBERY

Great for lightening your load and burden

PINK EYE

Pink is the new white!

VACATION

Don't know what this is useful for, but it's fun!

ROBBERY

Great for lightening your load and burden

PINK EYE

Pink is the new white!

VACATION

Don't know what this is useful for, but it's fun!

STAY ALIVE!

Being alive is great. You get to have fun, get humiliated, and then die.