One month ago I had to pack up my life of last 15 years and say good bye to my dog who was the only loyal guy I will ever knew , and leave him behind , so my ex could buy me out of my home and watch me walk away from it all. … Continue reading

I sit in this court room and I stare at you straight in the eyes as your sitting in front of that judge saying flat-out lies about me in order to get you to gain full custody off our son. As I'm hearing him say the words bad mother and I leave him alone all … Continue reading I look back and try to remember

I thought about starting a new blog as I start my new life, but this blog is where I started writing when I was going thru my husbands first affair and the pain that came with it. My way of dealing with life back then was to numb myself with any drug I … Continue reading Where am I now……

I When I got married 15 years ago, I was the happiest person in the world to have met the most loving kind , great listener, affectionate man I had ever met. I knew he was the one.. I remember the feeling I remember the day I felt it, I remember feeling so safe with … Continue reading I Trusted my journey

Divorce is a very angry ugly process. It almost feels like a time where two people think that during this time, it is an opportunity where you can try to hurt them and get back at them for whatever past anger and resentment you have built up. It's a fight on going about who's the … Continue reading Why do you gotta be so ugly

When I was 13 my parents got Divorce and it affected my life forever.. and as I got older and had different family events come up I would always invite both of my parents and the first couple times they both went to my mom and dad after all these years still couldn't seem to … Continue reading CoParenting Impossible

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Recent Posts: Living Clean...one minute at a time

Today I am almost 18 months clean Today I feel alone Today I feel content Today I feel happy to be in my own skin Today I feel unhappy in my intimate life Today I feel happy being with my kids Today I feel happy being with me Today I can be ok with being […]

I miss my mom. I miss her love. I miss her personality. I even miss her Drama a little bit. When I finally got real with myself and knew I had to do what it took to get clean, the main thing I had to start with was not to be around anyone who was […]

I cant believe it has been 12 months since i have been on my blog. It is crazy how different I see things today compared to this time last December. I have taken these last 12 months to stay clean, focus on my family, and nurture and love myself for the first time in many […]

Originally posted on Living Clean: I remember the day I met you. It was love at first sight. The way you looked at me through your sparkly eyes, it was a look that I had never seen before. When we touched lips, I began to feel your love for me run down my throat and…

Today is good day. I am grateful to be OUT of my head and in this very moment. I am learning to stop over thinking every fucking thing around me. I cant worry anymore about whatever the hell I keep worrying about. Yes My Husband had an affair. Yes It hurt. Yes I punished the […]