your ray of sunshine

Those Christmas lights keep shinin’ on

Christmas in my household has always been that one day of the year when everyone is genuinely happy.

I have a small family of 5, with 3 somewhat new additions through relationships. My household is typically quiet since there are so little of us, but even with the small amount of people I feel an immense amount of love always radiating from each of my family members when the Christmas season is upon us.

When I was a little girl, I was always envious of people who had the typical large Filipino family. I wanted to be surrounded by the titas who gossiped, the titos who got drunk, and the family as a whole as they devoted hours upon hours to MagicSing karaoke. In my eyes, my family was too small in comparison to have as much fun as a larger clan.

Now that I’m older, I have come to deeply appreciate my small family, especially after attending large parties through family friends. I realize now that with a small group, I have more of an understanding of each of the members. Additionally, I don’t feel like I have to be forced to interact or talk with any of them all of the time when the holidays come about because they know that I need space and I’m definitely not always in a sociable mood. Our Christmases feel intimate and just as enjoyable as any celebration with a massive family would be. It has taken 18 years for me to realize this, but I’m happy that I’ve finally learned to stop comparing what I think would be better to what I have in my life as a reality. I love my family dearly and I know I would not be the same person if I didn’t have them in my life.