Kickass talks to a loon

Kickass, the doorstop dog, while out fishing with his keeper off South Padre, used his special talent to communicate with a Wisconsin loon that was spending the winter taking fishing lessons from the Texas pelicans.

Kickass: When are you heading back to Wisconsin?

Loon: I’m not. I’m going to Minnesota this year.

Kickass: But you’ve been a Wis. summer resident forever.

Loon: And many generations before me.

Kickass: So what happened?

Loon: In a word, Walker. He has no more respect for clean water than a toilet.

Kickass: But Wis still has some clean lakes.

Loon: It’s just a matter to time until Walker and Strepp’s realtors/raiders turn every lake into pee soup.

Kickass: Don’t you mean “pea” soup?

Loon: Read my lips—Wis lakes are turning to pee as in pee-pee, and no self-respecting loon will swim in them. Now. stand aside. I’ve got to practice my take-off for Minnesota.

Kickass is thinking: it’s time to head north from South Padre, and he and the keeper have grandchildren in Minneapolis.