I am 34 and been married 15 years and i got really bored with my marriage last year because it was repetitive and my wife was just always talking about the kids,work,garden and it was just very dull ...

this is a serious question please no negative answers I just need information. So my husband and I had agreed to divorce but things have taken a different course and we have decided to stay together ...

My partner says I cannot interfere with anything her children choose to do in our house. Should I leave her?

My partners adult children live with us, but my partner told me to 'butt out' when I questioned her daughters habit of leaving her baby with us and going out nearly every, but not all, nights drinking. I asked if we could all sit at a table and work out a compromise, as I don't mind baby sitting, he is a lovely little boy, but I feel there has to be a limit set and I feel my partner and I should have quality time to ourselves as we work full time. As my partner has told me to 'butt out' it means I have to accept her daughters behaviour, which I think is not in the best interest of her baby son, or split up with my partner, who is otherwise a lovely person.

It's your house too, and her daughter is using you two as a built-in babysitter so she can party guilt free. If she has the money to go out drinking nearly every night, she can afford to get her own place and pay a babysitter. You need to sit down with your partner and her daughter and set limits. The daughter is being very selfish, and your partner is allowing her to get away with it. If they refuse to compromise, then it's time to leave. It is your house too, and you have the same right as your partner to determine what goes on under that roof.

Yes. You live there too and should not feel disrespected or used or used by another adult. Even her children.

It sounds like your wife didn't raise them right the first time. If I lived with my parents and had a I child I would be doing everything in my power to get out and make it on my own. To me the daughter is using you and your wife to keep up this party lifestyle when what she really should be doing is being a mom.

MY wife is also very much a pushover for anything her kids from first marriage want or ask for. I think a lot of it has to do with guilt feelings she has about ending her first marriage and the upset that caused in their lives. We've talked about this and I do make my position clear. But, they are her kids so as much as possible I try to defer to her wishes unless I really feel strongly about a particular situation.
As they've gotten older, the problems are getting worse due to the "size" of the wants in $'s. I feel kids should help pay for part of their way in post secondary and she'd rather just give them as much as they want, even if it keeps pushing us further into debt and prevents any savings for retirement (about 5 yrs away for me and we have little savings).
Best option from where I sit is, don't sweat the smaller things that aren't harmful to you or your wife. Save the battles for the most important ones only. I love my wife to death but things like this are putting a huge strain on our relationship.
Good luck!