too much too soon! help!!

My boyfriend and I have only been together for a little over 3 months. I'm 25 he's 27. We fell for each other very very fast then all the sudden we find out I'm pregnant. Totally shocked bc I had been told by 3 docs that getting pregnant would be quite difficult for me. 3 months in I'm 2 months pregnant... He proposed, I accepted, I'm about to move in. First sonogram today and as soon as he saw it he completely lost it. Went psycho. Picked a fight over nothing, had a holy fn meltdown and told me to go home. I'm so freaked out... I understand its a lot to process but wtf, all the sudden we have HUGE communication and boundary issues.

My boyfriend and I have only been together for a little over 3 months. I'm 25 he's 27. We fell for each other very very fast then all the sudden we find out I'm pregnant. Totally shocked bc I had been told by 3 docs that getting pregnant would be quite difficult for me. 3 months in I'm 2 months pregnant... He proposed, I accepted, I'm about to move in. First sonogram today and as soon as he saw it he completely lost it. Went psycho. Picked a fight over nothing, had a holy fn meltdown and told me to go home. I'm so freaked out... I understand its a lot to process but wtf, all the sudden we have HUGE communication and boundary issues.

Hope it's not completely ridiculous of me to think that regardless of the timeframe, we feel and seem right for each other and both are about as capable and ready for a functional adult relationship as two people can be. Maybe I'm totally wrong and his freak out today was his true feelings surfacing... All prior conversations beg to differ but tonight he actually said "who are you!? I don't even know you? Get out of my house!" What do I do? Cut him some slack?

Hope it's not completely ridiculous of me to think that regardless of the timeframe, we feel and seem right for each other and both are about as capable and ready for a functional adult relationship as two people can be. Maybe I'm totally wrong and his freak out today was his true feelings surfacing... All prior conversations beg to differ but tonight he actually said "who are you!? I don't even know you? Get out of my house!" What do I do? Cut him some slack?

Well, honestly, he's right. He doesn't even know you. You would had to have gotten pregnant on one of the first time you had sex. My suggestion would be to go slow in the relationship regardless of the pregnancy. Live separately, keep a job, date him like you would have if there were no baby involved. The last thing you want to do is become wholly, madly in love with and dependent on a virtual stranger. Start preparing to be a single mother and Co-parenting with this guy and over time, if you guys continue to get to know each other, then maybe you can all be a family together. Until then forcing a stranger to be the perfect "husband" and "daddy" is a shock to the system. Give him time. Take it slow. Good luck.

Well, honestly, he's right. He doesn't even know you. You would had to have gotten pregnant on one of the first time you had sex. My suggestion would be to go slow in the relationship regardless of the pregnancy. Live separately, keep a job, date him like you would have if there were no baby involved. The last thing you want to do is become wholly, madly in love with and dependent on a virtual stranger. Start preparing to be a single mother and Co-parenting with this guy and over time, if you guys continue to get to know each other, then maybe you can all be a family together. Until then forcing a stranger to be the perfect "husband" and "daddy" is a shock to the system. Give him time. Take it slow. Good luck.

This warp speed business has been a two way street. I'm not purposefully pressuring him to be dad or husband. I actually only agreed to his proposal under the conditions that we live together for a year first. My point is, life is giving my ideal timeline no consideration at all and I need some tips to keep the pressure of our situation from permanently breaking a potentially great relationship.

This warp speed business has been a two way street. I'm not purposefully pressuring him to be dad or husband. I actually only agreed to his proposal under the conditions that we live together for a year first. My point is, life is giving my ideal timeline no consideration at all and I need some tips to keep the pressure of our situation from permanently breaking a potentially great relationship.

Definitely slow down. If you took care of yourself financial prior to pregnancy , why can't you continue to? Way too much pressure way too quickly for both of you. You still have your "life timeline", as long as you're prepared with the possibility to be a single mom who coparents.

Definitely slow down. If you took care of yourself financial prior to pregnancy , why can't you continue to? Way too much pressure way too quickly for both of you. You still have your "life timeline", as long as you're prepared with the possibility to be a single mom who coparents.

I agree with FamilyTree again living together because of financial reasons it a terrible reason you should keep your independence for a while don't be dependent on him until you actually know him. You really don't even know him yet same as he doesn't know you gl

I agree with FamilyTree again living together because of financial reasons it a terrible reason you should keep your independence for a while don't be dependent on him until you actually know him. You really don't even know him yet same as he doesn't know you gl

my dh is 24 i'm 30 we met in April i'm 29 Weeks pregnant.or roughly 7 months we got married and live together. it can work but its hard because their is allot you don't know about each other. i totally try and be environmentaly friendly and vegetarian want to make my own baby food , don't eat meat, compost, recycle ect.. point is he isn't so it has taken compromise and getting used too. his family thinks i'm weird. out requires allot of talking I moved 3000 miles to be with him and had to quit working so I understand the having to live together. what about your family? where are they? any friends near you? sorry so long just want you to know if he wants it to it can work.

my dh is 24 i'm 30 we met in April i'm 29 Weeks pregnant.or roughly 7 months we got married and live together. it can work but its hard because their is allot you don't know about each other. i totally try and be environmentaly friendly and vegetarian want to make my own baby food , don't eat meat, compost, recycle ect.. point is he isn't so it has taken compromise and getting used too. his family thinks i'm weird. out requires allot of talking I moved 3000 miles to be with him and had to quit working so I understand the having to live together. what about your family? where are they? any friends near you? sorry so long just want you to know if he wants it to it can work.

I believe in "lust at first sight" but not love. There is no way you can love someone so soon. You cannot possibly know everything about that person in 1-3 months. Sometimes it works out, sure. I say all this from experience so I'm not just blowing smoke. My SO and I met online and talked for 2 months before meeting. We met and started dating for a few months. I found out I was pregnant really late in the game and was told I conceived within the first month I was with him. So basically when this baby is born, we will have been together for 9 months. He told me he loved me since day one but I was always hesitant. I did not push him into this or try to make it work. I told him to take his time and make a wise judgment. We grew closer and closer together. He has been a truly amazing man. He invited me to move in with him but I said no. He also wanted to get married and I said no. It's not that I don't love him right now, because I did fall in love with him. Its just that my baby's future is important and I don't want to put us in a position that might get ugly. I agreed to stay with him at his house every other week. Now I'm finally moving in. I'm STILL learning more and more about him. He brings up marriage a lot and i agreed to think about it in a years time. He is okay with that and has stopped pressuring me. He has focused on my well being and his unborn son. He did our nursery with his mom, his family is very accepting, he is fun and generous, and kind. that doesn't mean things could change. I trust him more each day but again, it's only been 6+ months. I consider myself lucky so far because I know that it could go the opposite way. He could of or still can develop or show traits that I don't care for. I was on birth control and have pcos AND cervical cancer. So I thought I would never get pregnant. Otherwise I would of thought twice about having a baby with someone I hardly knew.

I believe in "lust at first sight" but not love. There is no way you can love someone so soon. You cannot possibly know everything about that person in 1-3 months. Sometimes it works out, sure. I say all this from experience so I'm not just blowing smoke. My SO and I met online and talked for 2 months before meeting. We met and started dating for a few months. I found out I was pregnant really late in the game and was told I conceived within the first month I was with him. So basically when this baby is born, we will have been together for 9 months. He told me he loved me since day one but I was always hesitant. I did not push him into this or try to make it work. I told him to take his time and make a wise judgment. We grew closer and closer together. He has been a truly amazing man. He invited me to move in with him but I said no. He also wanted to get married and I said no. It's not that I don't love him right now, because I did fall in love with him. Its just that my baby's future is important and I don't want to put us in a position that might get ugly. I agreed to stay with him at his house every other week. Now I'm finally moving in. I'm STILL learning more and more about him. He brings up marriage a lot and i agreed to think about it in a years time. He is okay with that and has stopped pressuring me. He has focused on my well being and his unborn son. He did our nursery with his mom, his family is very accepting, he is fun and generous, and kind. that doesn't mean things could change. I trust him more each day but again, it's only been 6+ months. I consider myself lucky so far because I know that it could go the opposite way. He could of or still can develop or show traits that I don't care for. I was on birth control and have pcos AND cervical cancer. So I thought I would never get pregnant. Otherwise I would of thought twice about having a baby with someone I hardly knew.

It sounds like when he saw the sonogram, things became 'real' and he got a bit freaked out. I don't know what to tell you other than try to slow things down a little and find somewhere else to stay. My relationship is very similar to yours in that we pretty much got pregnant the first time we had sex. I had my own place, a good job and was self sufficient at the time though. He moved in with me a few months later, not because he HAD to but because that's what we wanted. Our daughter is now 8 months old and things are great. Obviously going from 0 to 100 in our relationship has put stress and pressure on us, but it has also brought us together and has made us strong. My advice is to just let things happen, don't put too much pressure to become a 'family.' If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, then it doesn't and you move on. The most important thing for you to do is to focus on your child. Good luck!

It sounds like when he saw the sonogram, things became 'real' and he got a bit freaked out. I don't know what to tell you other than try to slow things down a little and find somewhere else to stay. My relationship is very similar to yours in that we pretty much got pregnant the first time we had sex. I had my own place, a good job and was self sufficient at the time though. He moved in with me a few months later, not because he HAD to but because that's what we wanted. Our daughter is now 8 months old and things are great. Obviously going from 0 to 100 in our relationship has put stress and pressure on us, but it has also brought us together and has made us strong. My advice is to just let things happen, don't put too much pressure to become a 'family.' If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, then it doesn't and you move on. The most important thing for you to do is to focus on your child. Good luck!

I was living with my parents, just finished college and they were helping with my bills. I just started a new job and am not stable financially yet. My parents basically cut the cord, excuse the expression, when I told them the news. That's where the added pressure to live together is coming from... Plus- he's a great guy. He wants to take care of me and since I posted that last week has been trying his lil heart out to be the best SO ever. We still struggle and there's a lot of new uncharted territory... I choose to believe we're gonna make it work

I was living with my parents, just finished college and they were helping with my bills. I just started a new job and am not stable financially yet. My parents basically cut the cord, excuse the expression, when I told them the news. That's where the added pressure to live together is coming from... Plus- he's a great guy. He wants to take care of me and since I posted that last week has been trying his lil heart out to be the best SO ever. We still struggle and there's a lot of new uncharted territory... I choose to believe we're gonna make it work

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