Order is the Shire of Tolkien’s hobbits: peaceful, productive and safely inhabitable, even by the naive. Chaos is the underground kingdom of the dwarves, usurped by Smaug, the treasure-hoarding serpent. Chaos is the deep ocean bottom to which Pinocchio voyaged to rescue his father from Monstro, whale and fire-breathing dragon. That journey into darkness and rescue is the most difficult thing a puppet must do, if he wants to be r

Order is the Shire of Tolkien’s hobbits: peaceful, productive and safely inhabitable, even by the naive. Chaos is the underground kingdom of the dwarves, usurped by Smaug, the treasure-hoarding serpent. Chaos is the deep ocean bottom to which Pinocchio voyaged to rescue his father from Monstro, whale and fire-breathing dragon. That journey into darkness and rescue is the most difficult thing a puppet must do, if he wants to be r

who reads this shit

holy shit it all makes sense now, Jordan Peterson is the guy who wrote

I think the real issue here is that a lot of people don't really understand what Something Awful really is. I have devised a theory that I think will answer a lot of questions. You see, SA is remarkably similar to Middle-Earth. Yes, that's right; Middle-Earth, the setting for the Lord of the Rings. Middle-Earth is just like SA, and when I explain it to you, you'll slap your forehead and go "Of course!"

First of all, Lowtax is almost exactly like Illuvitar. In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Lowtax/Illuvitar came forth from the dark voids of the Internet/chaos and forged their creation from the aether. They each have their own dominion, and they hover it like the creator-gods that they are. Both are legendary, and although they have an omnipresent persona, few people have directly interacted with them.
Now, in the world of Middle-Earth, Illuvitar is aided by an order of powerful holy spirits called the Valar. They are his first creations, and they help him maintain Middle-Earth. Here at SA, we have the admins to fill that role. They are second in the heirarchy, and together with Lowtax they keep SA working. Updates, changes, all are in their jurisdiction. Right below the Valar are the Maiar, which are less powerful, and act as intermediaries between the heavenly beings and the denizens of Middle-Earth. The mods of SA fill this role. They interact with the posters all the time, to a greater extent than the admins and Lowtax. The mods have lesser power, just as the Maiar have lesser power, but they have their own sort of authority that can be truly wrathful to behold!
Both Middle-Earth and Something Awful are populated with an array of beings. It is astounding to see just how closely they coincide with one another. At SA, posters can be ranked accordingly: Elves, Men, Dwarves, Hobbits, and Orcs. Elves are the oldest and wisest of all posters. These are the posters who have reg dates that go back to 2000 or early 2001, and perhaps 2002 as well. These posters are incredibly popular, and generally well-liked. Although they have no official authority, the Elves carry a lot of weight, and people listen to them, even the higher-ups. People marvel at them, because they are so beautiful and wonderful. Even if they somehow get banned (an incredibly rare occurance), the Elves seem to come back, good as new. Even their avatars are unaffected.
Below the Elves are the Men and Dwarves, who are of equal rank, but differ in their habits and mannerisms. Men are posters who have been around a good while, and know the ropes of SA pretty well. They fit in, they don't call attention to themselves too often. As far as anyone is concerned, they are normal people. Dwarves are crankier, grouchier, and may or may not be older than Men. They sometimes get in scuffles with Elves, and are a bit more inclined to flame others.
Newbies also come into two distinct types. But unlike the above example, the two types discussed here are drastically different. The first type are the Hobbits. Hobbits are newbies who are innocent and kind. They don't want any trouble from anyone, and are curious little things. They genuinely want to be a part of SA, but for the most part they are horrendously naive and clueless. Bless 'em. Now, the second type of newbie are the Orcs. Orcs are horrible creatures. These n00bs shit up every thread they appear in, and they vastly outnumber just about every other demographic. Lowtax and the others try to curb their numbers by banning, and the other posters flame and bash them at every opportunity, but the Orcs are relentless. More are created everyday, and they multiply like rabbits. Orcs usually wage large-scale assault on threads by using trolls and trolling tactics. Unlike Hobbits, not all Orcs are necessarily "new". In fact, some of them may have old reg dates. The vast majority of Orcs reside in Mordor, which is FYAD.

Finally, you have the Nazgul. There really isn't much to say about the Nazgul, except that these are the notorious posters who everyone has heard of, and HATES. They are few in number, and everyone knows who they are. They are old beings, and far more horrible than the Orcs. They shit up every thread they appear in, but for reasons unknown they have avoided being banned. Everytime a Nazgul appears, everyone covers their ears and screams because they don't want to here what the Nazgul has to say, because undoubtedly it will bring only madness.

With this scutinous analysis of the SA forums, valuable information can surely be gleaned.

Toronto resident chamnpion Psychoanalyst Mathematicial Philosopher on The Five People you meet in Heaven:

1. Spiderman

A strong man, who does not let his shoulderblades jut out when he stands. A Man who spits spunk out of his palms.

2. pinocchio

a boy who just wants to be real, but must dive into the deep black ocean (metaphor for chaos) full of fish (metaphor for villains, life’s enemies) to become a real boy and not made out of wood

3. Marvel’s Wolverine

logan has problems but he is always calm. his Hero also appeases to the sublimated infantile tastes that are prevalent among the recently arrived adults of this great continent. he has metal swords protruding from his Strong hands. he is thus a kind of Strong Jesus

4. jesus

need i say more?

5. a hobbit

a myopic creature who dwells in luxury and sees the world from such a distance as to only see the blurred ghostly outline of things as they are. but, u see, these outlines are the truth

I'd been hearing about him for like three years now. Before he really picked up steam as the idol for young alt right crybabies, he was the Chosen One of canada's don't tread on me boomer hick community who believe that being politely asked to treat LGBTQ people with respect is a heinous act of excruciating torture and definitely terrorism.

The earth will split open and spew forth evil smoke, birds with broken necks will sing in discordant tritones, the sun will turn black and it will rain tainted blood, all because a 58 year old semi-retired accountant was given a disapproving finger waggle for screaming "kill yourself faggot" at a child with purple hair. An unconscionable desecration of our most sacred personal liberties.

Ironically a lot of his older fans are fundamentalist christians attracted by "brave professor stands up to the evil liberal PC conspiracy" headlines and would be horrified if they could ever read enough sequential words on a page to grasp his embarrassingly late to the party contrarian chaos magyck gimmick

checked that out and as of a couple months ago he told the National Post he's not a Christian and doesn't believe in God. But he still has time to receive grace just like he still has time to learn philosophy. as to the other people you're talking about i guess i'll learn who they are next thread.

Closer examination, however, reveals Peterson’s ageless insights as a typical, if not archetypal, product of our own times: right-wing pieties seductively mythologized for our current lost generations.

Peterson himself credits his intellectual awakening to the Cold War, when he began to ponder deeply such “evils associated with belief” as Hitler, Stalin, and Mao, and became a close reader of Solzhenitsyn’s novel The Gulag Archipelago. This is a common intellectual trajectory among Western right-wingers who swear by Solzhenitsyn and tend to imply that belief in egalitarianism leads straight to the guillotine or the Gulag. A recent example is the English polemicist Douglas Murray who deplores the attraction of the young to Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren and wishes that the idea of equality was “tainted by an ideological ordure equivalent to that heaped on the concept of borders.” Peterson confirms his membership of this far-right sect by never identifying the evils caused by belief in profit, or Mammon: slavery, genocide, and imperialism.

In all respects, Peterson’s ancient wisdom is unmistakably modern. The “tradition” he promotes stretches no further back than the late nineteenth century, when there first emerged a sinister correlation between intellectual exhortations to toughen up and strongmen politics. This was a period during which intellectual quacks flourished by hawking creeds of redemption and purification while political and economic crises deepened and faith in democracy and capitalism faltered. Many artists and thinkers—ranging from the German philosopher Ludwig Klages, member of the hugely influential Munich Cosmic Circle, to the Russian painter Nicholas Roerich and Indian activist Aurobindo Ghosh—assembled Peterson-style collages of part-occultist, part-psychological, and part-biological notions. These neo-romantics were responding, in the same way as Peterson, to an urgent need, springing from a traumatic experience of social and economic modernity, to believe—in whatever reassures and comforts.

heh

Peterson claims that he has been inducted into “the coastal Pacific Kwakwaka’wakw tribe”; he is clearly proud of the Native American longhouse he has built in his Toronto home.

The real thing to take away from JBP is that he has become a hero to millions because he said controversial things like "you should sort out your life and clean your room" and "Jung is S-tier and Freud is A-tier." Every leftist take on him that I have read has either been "he is dumb and wrong, trust me on this" or "he is dumb and evil, trust me on this." It's like there is a rule that you must not ever engage with his work and just throw poop at it like a spider monkey that is feeling threatened.

It reminds me of a post I made here years ago about how Communists should embrace popular mediums of entertainment like Professional Wrestling and make Communism relevant and relatable to average people through that medium, getting laughed at for pushing such a stupid idea, and then watching America elect a President that was in the WWE Hall of Fame. Like do you people ever actually engage with the people that you claim to represent because LOL man, I bet that tpaine and MAYBE goatstein are the only people on this forum that could pull off a respectable stone cold stunner, much less a tombstone piledriver or power bomb.

I don’t think communists should be competing for that demographic imo, considering it’s literally comprised of fascists and settlers. WWE and Peterson followers support Trump cus he appealed to already existing political movements, not cus they’re all getting duped or whatever.

It reminds me of a post I made here years ago about how Communists should embrace popular mediums of entertainment like Professional Wrestling and make Communism relevant and relatable to average people through that medium, getting laughed at for pushing such a stupid idea, and then watching America elect a President that was in the WWE Hall of Fame. Like do you people ever actually engage with the people that you claim to represent because LOL man, I bet that tpaine and MAYBE goatstein are the only people on this forum that could pull off a respectable stone cold stunner, much less a tombstone piledriver or power bomb.

It reminds me of a post I made here years ago about how Communists should embrace popular mediums of entertainment like Professional Wrestling and make Communism relevant and relatable to average people through that medium, getting laughed at for pushing such a stupid idea, and then watching America elect a President that was in the WWE Hall of Fame. Like do you people ever actually engage with the people that you claim to represent because LOL man, I bet that tpaine and MAYBE goatstein are the only people on this forum that could pull off a respectable stone cold stunner, much less a tombstone piledriver or power bomb.

I wasnt on board with this until I realized that you're just saying that everyone here needs to stop wasting time and form an illegal underground wrestling circuit that demonstrates the science of Marxism-Leninism with ultraviolent panto

The real thing to take away from JBP is that he has become a hero to millions because he said controversial things like "you should sort out your life and clean your room" and "Jung is S-tier and Freud is A-tier." Every leftist take on him that I have read has either been "he is dumb and wrong, trust me on this" or "he is dumb and evil, trust me on this." It's like there is a rule that you must not ever engage with his work and just throw poop at it like a spider monkey that is feeling threatened.

Okay, he's a misogynist and bourgeois teenage boys like misogyny. Now I have critically engaged with his work.

The real thing to take away from JBP is that he has become a hero to millions because he said controversial things like "you should sort out your life and clean your room" and "Jung is S-tier and Freud is A-tier." Every leftist take on him that I have read has either been "he is dumb and wrong, trust me on this" or "he is dumb and evil, trust me on this." It's like there is a rule that you must not ever engage with his work and just throw poop at it like a spider monkey that is feeling threatened.

It reminds me of a post I made here years ago about how Communists should embrace popular mediums of entertainment like Professional Wrestling and make Communism relevant and relatable to average people through that medium, getting laughed at for pushing such a stupid idea, and then watching America elect a President that was in the WWE Hall of Fame. Like do you people ever actually engage with the people that you claim to represent because LOL man, I bet that tpaine and MAYBE goatstein are the only people on this forum that could pull off a respectable stone cold stunner, much less a tombstone piledriver or power bomb.

me, Keven and swampman are each separately capable of dropping you so hard through the mat your balls fly off & you replace Asuka on the other side. *taps microphone with thumb* Hello. hello,

im surprised that anyone can engage with his work since he seems to be a glorified youtuber who wrote a self help book. im sure as hell not reading the book and i cant stomach more than 30 seconds of listening to his whiny little bitch voice