Thursday, January 31, 2013

It's ironic really, seeing that Chris Bosh pulled of the one of the greatest flops in NBA History against the guy that is the most notorious in the league for drawing imaginary fouls. What comes around goes around, am I right? Seriously though, this is terrible. I can't believe the referees didn't catch that.

Somethings just never change. Even after removing Andray Blatche, the President of the Knuckleheads and Javale McGee, the secretary of doing stupid things on the court, the effect they left on the Wizards remain in effect. I hope you enjoyed those tropical flavored Skittles, Jordan Crawford, because they didn't help your game very much. He scored only 3 points and went 1 of 5 from the field. John Wall must have wanted to get in on the candy too, as he went for 9 points on 3 of 12 shooting. The rainbow is the devil.

FROLO: Sorry Bynum, for the first time, your hair was not the best of the night. (Via: SB Nation)

Tiny Assassin: Tony Parker is holding it down for his Spurs in the absence of Tim Duncan. The French point guard had 22 points (9 of 10), 7 assists and 3 steals to take down the Charlotte Bobcats. This win in San Antonio is their 17th straight, which ties for the third longest streak in their franchise.

Energy Ball: In his first 9 minutes into the game, Nate Robinson came off the bench to score 14 points on 6 of 6 shooting for his total 24 points (9 of 11). He also handed out 4 assists, stole 3 basketballs and completed his first dunk since the 2010-2011 season in the victory over the Milwaukee Bucks.

Stacey King must be off the medication that helps keep his composure during Bulls games.

Rookie Watch: Anthony Davis went for 14 points (7 of 9), 7 rebounds, and 2 blocks in only 22 minutes of play against the Utah Jazz. The Utah would come out on top thanks to the Giant 2. Paul Millsap had 25 points and 10 rebounds. While Al Jefferson added 22 and 5.

No Defense Necessary: When two teams with highest pace in league, Houston Rockets (1) and Denver Nuggets (3) play against each other, defense will be non existent. Jeremy Lin led the Rockets with 22 points (8 of 15), and 5 assists. His majestic facial bearing partner, James Harden got 21 points on 6 of 13 shooting, 5 rebounds and 4 assists. However, the efforts of the two were not enough to trump Danilo Gallinari's 27 points (10 of 17) and the late 17-0 run they allowed Denver.

Boards: Blake Griffin got his 19th double double of the season last night with his 26 points (11 of 17) and 13 rebounds in the win over the injury riddled Minnesota Timberwolves.

Setting Records: Carmelo Anthony set a new Knicks franchise record with 20+ points in 30 straight games. Tyon Chandler dropped a team-high 21 points on 10 of 11 shooting, to go with his 7 blocks and 5 assists. For the Magic, J.J. Reddick has been hot off the bench lately, he had 29 points (9 of 14) in another loss for the Orlando Magic. More bad news, Glen Davis will be out for the season with a broken foot.

What is better than Iman Shumpert's hi-top fade? Children with Shumpert wigs, of course. (Via: @netw3rk)

Flocks: The Atlanta Hawks defeated the Toronto Raptors with help of their starting front court of Josh Smith, who went for 20 points (7 of 16), and 11 rebounds, as Al Horford chipped in for 22 points (10 of 15), 10 rebounds and 6 assists. There was a questionable no-call in this game that potentially lost the game for the Raptors. Down with 1 with 5 seconds left, after grabbing an offensive rebound off Alan Anderson's miss, DeMar DeRozan went back up for the win, but would miss the shot due to a foul that was unfortunately not called. The Raptors have now lost 10 games this season when tied or leading with 2 minutes left in the fourth. Maybe Rudy Gay can solve the problem.Or maybe the league can stop apologizing to the Raptors and do something about the refs.

Highlights

Swats: Avery Bradley will not allow Isiah Thomas to deliver his Pizzas.

Fancy: Ricky Rubio still can not throw a normal pass to his teammates.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

With the Lakers struggling to find consistent success in their season, Kobe Bryant has opted to be a facilitator in the past week to get his teammates going for the first time in his career. Not only has he dished out 10+ dimes in the last 3 games, he actually has less field goal attempts than assists in all three victories. While I do believe this sudden change in Kobe's demeanor benefits his team, there is something that just feels wrong with this "New" Kobe.

Frankly, I think we can all agree that scoring Kobe is a cooler Kobe. If he shared the ball as much as he had in the past 3 games of this season, his career would have never been linked to Shaq drama (including a rap about tasting butts), Smush Parker stories and every single appealing thing about the Black Mamba would cease to exist.

Can you imagine a world with a Kobe like that? I don't even want to live in that world.We have come to know Kobe as a man that strives for nothing but perfection. A man, wired completely different than others. Basketball was his obsession and all he wanted was to be the best. Some would say he was a maniac, as he works hours on hours in the gym, alone. Shutting the whole world out with the sound of the basketball swishing through the hoop. His accolades speak for themselves. He has won multiple titles by being the offensive mastermind that forgets his teammates' existence and will shoot over double teams. We groan as the ball is released, but cheers explode as we watch him make those all too familiar shots that were once deemed impossible. If he wasn't the scorer he is today, we would never have a Kobe that makes Matrix references and that is not okay.

This dude is the coolest. No one will ever have his supreme confidence and ability to answer questions with nonchalance. He didn't even bat an eyelash when he said that he would be the best point guard if he ever played that position.

Reggie Evans is on his trolling game right now. When asked about playing the reigning champions, the Miami Heat tonight at the Barclays Center, Reggie completely dismisses their title, claiming that it means nothing in a shortened season.

"It doesn't prove nothing. That was a lockout season," Evans told the
New York Daily News on Wednesday when asked if beating the defending
champs would prove something to the rest of the NBA.

Okay, while I cannot argue that a shortened season could have been a factor, a championship is still a championship. The road to get the title is just as difficult. What if the Clippers won last year when you were on the team, I doubt you would have taken your victory as lightly. Besides, this not what a man in your position should say. For a man that can only rebound the basketball and has bricks for hands (He literally can not put anything into the basket to save his life), you sure can talk. Too bad, no one will ever take you seriously, especially when you look like an Orc.

"Our team is defending the Miami Heat. If our team has to defend one
person, LeBron isn't going to score nothing. LeBron is no different from
Joe Johnson or Andray Blatche.
No different," Evans told the Daily News. "People need help (on
defense). Some people don't need help. Everybody has to be
double-teamed, it doesn't matter who you are. You just have to stop
LeBron in transition.

So according to you, the best NBA player in the world is no different than a ball hogging All Star that never got out of the second round of the playoffs and a former member of the Washington Knuckleheads. Silly Reggie, don't you remember LeBron James and the Heat beating the Nets by 30 points in November and followed it with a 13 point win in December? Or did you hit your head on something?

This is nothing against Reggie, I just want to set the record straight. I hope LeBron didn't find out about what you said, because it would not be good for your team to play against a motivated LeBron.

About a month ago, LeBron James said he will never compete in the dunk contest because of age and health concerns. He had publicly promised to do it back in 2009, but has never fulfilled his obligatory duty and left fans disappointed. Chris Thomas was one of those fans, and he has come up with an idea to get LeBron James into the Dunk Contest. Through Gofundme.com, Chris started an online campaign to raise a million dollars in an attempt to get the NBA Superstar to slam a couple of basketballs through the hoop in the most glorious event of the All Star weekend. The campaign is currently at a total of $3,218 dollars, please visit this link if you would like to donate. All proceeds are going into charity and in the case that LeBron backs out from the contest again, you will receive a full refund.

LeBron, I hope you would consider this proposal regardless of the money raised ($3,000 is an impressive amount) and do this for the fans. You can't run away from it forever, it's destiny.

It's great that Kris Humphries can still laugh at himself. Even though he made a terrible life changing decision that has made him one of the most hated men in the NBA. His 72-day marriage with a certain reality star did get him on this commercial. And since everyone will always remember him for the incident anyway (I mean you can never forget it, because Kanye just won't shut up), embracing your inner and outer douche bag is the probably right way to go about it.

On the biggest night of his young career, where Klay Thompson goes off for a career high 32 points on 6 of 8 from the three and 7 rebounds. Jarrett Jack pulls a Chris Bosh in the sophomore gunner's post game interview to steal the spotlight in a familiar fashion. Just like Bosh, Jack puts up great numbers when he is needed to and leaves a huge impact on the game. The back up guard stepped up for 26 points (11 of 18) and 12 assists in place of the injured Stephen Curry in the victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers. He is one of more under appreciated, core guys on their team and he just want some attention, even if it means pretend-fan girling over his teammate's performance.

Lights Out: In the absence of Stephen Curry, Andrew Bogut and Harrison Barnes, the Golden State Warriors defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers on 69 percent three point shooting, they were 11 of 16 from beyond the arc. Klay Thompson led the way with a career high 32 points (6 of 8 from three) and 7 rebounds. Jarrett Jack added 26 points and 12 assists. Unfortunately for Cleveland, their savior, Kyrie Irving played with a cold and was unable to drag his team to victory.

Buck Wild: Brandon Jennings must have caught the All Star snub disease, because he could not miss tonight. After scoring only 4 points in the first quarter, Jennings went on a 16-0 run by himself in the second, knocking down a three in four straight possessions. He finished with a game-high 30 points (11 of 19), 2 rebounds and 6 assists. In spite of the 27 point loss, the Pistons were able to find a bright light in Andre Drummond. The rookie from UCONN had 18 points and 18 rebounds off the bench, making him the youngest to ever achieve this feat. Maybe Lawrence Frank will finally give him some quality minutes, I mean how can you not, after watching him grab a double double in 11 minutes.

New Formula: So apparently if Kobe passes the basketball, the Lakers will win whether they play defense or not. According to a small sample size of 3 games, which the Lakers have won, when Kobe has 10+ assists, the team is undefeated. Okay, enough of the sarcasm. This is Kobe's first time since 2009 to have 3 straight 10+ assists games. He has combined for 39 assists over this period, which is the most he has had in a 3 game stretch. Just so you know, we now live in a world where Steve Nash grabs more rebounds than Dwight Howard, Dwight Howard scores more points than Kobe and Kobe hands out more dimes than Nash. It's confusing, I know. Eric Gordon had a great game, he got 25 points on 7 of 12 shooting, and 6 of 8 from the three in the Hornets' (Pelicans) 30th loss of the season.

Don't Call it a Comeback: Down 21 points in the third quarter, the Portland Trail Blazers managed to put together a late run to comeback for the victory against the Dallas Mavericks. Dirk Nowitzski had his best game of the season last night with 26 points (11 of 21), 4 rebounds and 4 assists. However, he would get shown up by the double headed dragon of Portland. LaMarcus Aldridge had 29 points (12 of 20), 13 rebounds and two of the most important shots in the game, while J.J Hickson went for 26 points and 15 rebounds. The last 30 seconds of this game is absolutely bonkers. Words can not describe how crazy it was, so it is better if you just watch it below.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Some players swear by never eating before games and if they do, it will usually be a light snack. But for a few specific individuals, they will have pizza right before the game and maybe go off for 81 points against the Toronto Raptors. Not everyone is the same, in Michael Beasley' case, we might have found why he has not played up to his expectations and it just so happens to be related to food.

As Michael Beasley slammed a chicken tenders basket
at his locker about 90 minutes before his Phoenix Suns were to face the
Dallas Mavericks on Sunday, he seemed more pleased with the savory
french fries than digging up the past yet again.
“These fries are good, man,” Beasley said between shoveling handfuls of the greasy goodness into his mouth.

Have you ever played basketball after eating greasy food? How can you play at your best with your stomach feeling bloated, mouth filled with grease residue and possible constipation? You can't and neither can the former number 2 overall pick.

After rifling through the chicken finger basket and dressing for the
game while rapping out loud the inaudible lyrics streaming through his
headphones, Beasley managed 12 points on 4-for-10 shooting and four
rebounds. He recorded a team-worst minus-17 in 20 minutes and the Suns
lost for the 30th time in 45 games.

Stick with the simple carbs, man. I am sure the Suns nutritionist have super foods that can help you perform better, after all this organization did extend Steve Nash's health and revived Grant Hill's career.

This is why every single NBA game should be mic'd up. All games should give you an option to choose between the regular broadcast with color commentary and an all-access feature that allows you to hear what goes on in the game. It would be great to hear what some of these guys say to each other in games. We can get in on the trash talking, funny stories and maybe even rookies asking veterans how to do their laundry. Who knows? So please David Stern, let us pay more money to watch our favorite sport.

Are we really going to have to do this again? Take my advice, Kobe and do some research on the Pelicans. Besides, who are you to say that Pelicans are not scary, your team name is Lakers for God's sake. What the hell is that? LA doesn't even have lakes. And if there were any, Pelicans would live there and do things like this.

Yea, keep laughing. Pelicans are totally not frightening and incapable of eating snakes. Oh, wait they have actually been known to eat snakes, and also happen to be a protective symbol against snakes in Ancient Egypt. What do you say now, Black Mamba.

The NBA needs more of this. Enough of the hard fouls on players in mid-air, they are dangerous and could potentially end careers. Knocking someone down in transition to force them to shoot free throws, gives the victim of the foul, virtually no time to brace their fall. Players should care for each other regardless of the city sewed on their jerseys. Everyone should be more like Glen Davis and catch your opponents to safety. Of course, no one is really as strong as Glen, who managed to catch Gerald Wallace running at full speed without much effort, but the least you can do is to slow the fall.

When a Big Baby saves a Human crash dummy in an intimate moment, Marvin Gaye is always necessary.

Australian Warrior: In his first game back from his ankle injury, Andrew Bogut dropped 12 points (6 of 8), and grabbed 8 rebounds in 24 minutes of play. David Lee led the Warriors with 21 points, 12 rebounds and 7 assists. Bad news for the Warriors, Stephen Curry tweaked his ankle again, it doesn't seem to be serious, but a recurring injury does raise concerns. A unlikely hero appeared for the Raptors, Aaron Gray, the Raptors' own Andrew Bogut scored a career high 22 points on 9 of 12 shooting, and took down 10 boards. However his efforts would be wasted, as the Warriors would win. They outscored Toronto 62 to 34 in the paint, which basically never happens.

Close One: With the Indiana Pacers down 2 in the last 40 seconds against the Denver Nuggets, David West scored a huge basket off of his offensive rebound to tie the game up at 101 a piece. Down the floor, Danilo Gallinari, who scored a game high 27 points (9 of 16) would get blocked by Paul George on his ill-advised jump shot, to give the ball back to the Pacers. Unfortunately, Indiana came out of their time out without a play, giving Paul George the hard task of scoring against Andre Iguodala, one of the best perimeter defenders in the league. As you would have guessed, things would start to go downhill for the man with two first names, as he gets ball stolen by AI and later fouls him on a lob attempt, that rewarded his opponent with the game winning free throw.

Black Panther: Looks like Deron Williams has finally found his shooting touch. In the 20 point blowout win over the Orlando Magic, the point guard went for 20 points on 8 of 12 shooting, and 9 assists in 34 minutes of playing time. The Nets might have won, but Orlando would get the last laugh.

Andray Blatche will always be funny.

Pizza Guy: Isiah Thomas stays representing for the little guys. He had 22 points (9 of 16), 4 rebounds, 7 assists and the biggest basket of them all.

Blast-Off: The Houston Rockets defeated the Utah Jazz 125 to 80 at Salt Lake City. James Harden had 25 points (8 of 15), 3 rebounds and 3 assists to hand the Jazz the biggest loss at home in franchise history. Before this happened, they have never lost by more than 33 in their turf. Omer Asik singlehandedly out-rebounded the entire Utah starting squad with 19 boards in the win.

Joakim Woah: The Bulls' All Star center has gone for 15+ rebounds in 4 straight games, something no Bull has done since Rodman in 1998. He grabbed 18 last night to go with his 13 points, 7 assists and 5 blocks in the win against the Charlotte Bobcats.

Highlights

Launch Failed: Derrick Favors will not allow the Greg Smith shuttle to reach its desired destination.

Boom: Carlos Boozer, the NBA's most athletic looking, unathletic guy still has a little hop in his step. Watch for his younger, skinnier twin on the bench cheering, it's crazy.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Last Thursday, in the New York Knicks vs. Boston Celtics rematch at the TD Garden, any Cheerios-related items brought in by the fans were confiscated by security. For those of you, who are out of the loop on the whole Cheerios fiasco between Kevin Garnett and Melo, I will summarize it for you in a sentence. Basically, a few weeks ago, during the first Celtics vs, Knicks game of the season, Kevin Garnett reportedly said Melo's wife, Lala tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios and Melo didn't take it too well. Since then, the internet has kept relevant, making a non issue into a thing that will forever haunt Carmelo for the rest of his NBA career. Taking advantage of this known fact, Philadelphia 76ers fans decided to chant the popular General Mills cereal on Saturday in an attempt to get the Knick to miss his free throws. It didn't work, but Melo did get a little chuckle from it.

Keep it classy Philly fans, you are not making any friends in this league by chanting a possible misquote reported on Twitter or cheering for injuries to other players.

When a NBA team wins a Championship, they get invited to the White House to meet the President. While I don't know why it holds any significance, as the event is really just a press conference about something that happened 6 months ago, it is a big honor to be congratulated by the man who runs the country. I don't live in the U.S., so I don't fully understand the perception of Obama, but he seems pretty cool. Shout to South Dakota, you were only funny because Mike Miller yelled you out. Only Mike Miller can do that.

Just when you thought that Charles Barkley might be retiring from doing the Inside the NBA for TNT, he goes and shows up on your local news without notice. Aside from being terrible at doing color commentary, his back up plan to work as a weather man will likely not work out.

Cool transition from the weather to talking about your plants. It is always good to engage a conversation that no one cares about with a weatherman. Stick with half time show, you only have to work on Thursdays. I know Shaq get be a little annoying, but it is only 6 hours. You can take 6 hours of mumbling and yelling right?

Russell Westbrook has been known to dress a little bit weird, but on Sunday, he took it to a whole new level. I am not sure what that shirt is made out of, it could possibly be some advanced synthetic material that can conform into some type of armor that will protect him from unexpected attackers. Or it could be a tear away aluminum foil sheet that he can bake cookies with, I don't know. The shirt is retailed originally at €400 from Neil Barrett, it is on sale now for €200, which is approximately $270 US dollars. Now all you need is a man clutch that carries 10 different lenseless glasses and a pair of turquoise pants at old navy to finish your Halloween Westbrook costume.

Missing Point: The Boston Celtics defeated the Miami Heat in double overtime without Rondo, who is out for the season with a torn ACL. Apparently, none of the Celtic players knew about it until the end of the game. Paul Pierce led the charge with his 7th career triple double of 17 points, 13 rebounds and 10 assists. Kevin Garnett added 24 points on 10 of 19 shooting, 11 rebounds, 4 assists and 3 blocks at the TD Garden. LeBron James had 34 points (14 of 31), 16 rebounds, 7 assists and a clutch three pointer in regulation to force the first overtime. His sidekick, Dwyane Wade was rendered useless for the final 16 minutes of this game, as he failed to register a single point in the game's most important minutes.

Three Ball: J.J Redick was among a few players that were on fire from behind the arc last night. The Duke product dropped a career high tying 31 points on 8 of 11 threes. However, Brandon Knight's 31 points on 12 of 16 shooting would prevail in the battle, bringing the Detroit Pistons the victory against the Orlando Magic, who are now on a 5 game losing streak.

Ryan Anderson didn't do too bad himself, hitting 7 of his 13 threes for a game-high 22 points. He attempted nothing but threes in this game. Meanwhile for the Memphis Grizzlies, Zach Randolph recorded his 28th double-double of the season (20 points and 13 rebounds), the most in this NBA season in the loss to the New Orleans Hornets.

Hawk Hunter:While we are still on the subject of threes, Carmelo Anthony lit up the entire Atlanta squad by himself. Going off for 42 points on 15 of 28 shooting, a career high 9 of 12 from the three, and 5 rebounds in the win against the Hawks. Melo has tied the Knicks record for the most consecutive 20 point games with his 29th straight. Despite Atlanta outscoring the Knicks 50 to 22 in the paint, the Hawks just could not stop the Knicks from the outside. Allowing their opponent to shoot 60 percent from downtown is not a good sign. If there was a good sign for ATL, it would be Jeff Teague, who has developed into a solid scoring point guard in this seaon. He got 27 points (9 of 15), 5 rebounds, and 6 assists to give you a glimpse of his future.

Here is Melo's 42 point game summed up in less than 2 minutes.

Change Up: Kobe Bryant is ridiculous, he went off for 21 points (8 of 12), 9 rebounds and 14 assists to show off his versatility. This certainly doesn't solve all of LA's problems, but it is a start. As usual Kevin Durant had another 35 point game for Oklahoma City Thunder, however the lack of help from Russell Westbrook, who shot 6 of 22 from the field at the Staples Center, gave the Thunder, their 11th loss of the season.

Highlights

Trickery: Tony Wroten doesn't need to look when he passes.

Quick Step: Blake Griffin has it.

Boshasaurus: Jeff Green is the asteroid that caused the extinction of Dinosaurs.

Stupid Taj Gibson, the last thing that Washington needs is more help. Oh, wait. They are still the Wizards. Does Taj get an offensive rebound for tipping in his opponent's shot into his own basket though? This is a serious question.

Poor Wesley Matthews falls victim to Jamal Crawford's deceptive dribbling that he never practices. You knew he got him bad when you see Matthews's face on the replay. You are not doing yourself any favors by complaining after getting embarrassed like that. Just take it like a man. At least you came out with the victory against the Clippers.

Bomber: Just when you thought the Toronto Raptors learned something about close games after beating the Orlando Magic on a buzzer beater, they dropped another again. The man responsible? Kyrie Irving, had a game-high 32 points on 13 of 26 shooting, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, a 100 body twisting lay-ups and the game winning shot from long distance. This sophomore has now scored more than 30 points in 4 of his last 5 games. Also this was his 5th game winner, in his 85th career game. Way to make your fellow 20 year olds feel bad. I am super jealous.

Shutdown: The Philadelphia 76ers held the New York Knicks to only 35 percent from the field and 4 of 27 from the three in the win. Both J.R. Smith and Jason Kidd failed to register a single point in this game. For the Sixers, Jrue Holiday dropped a career high 35 points (16 of 25), 5 boards, and 6 dimes to show the world why he deserves to be an All Star.

Honorable Mention: To Tony Parker's 31 points on 13 of 17 shooting, 4 rebounds, 7 assists, and 2 steals in the victory over the Phoenix Suns. If he didn't play for the Spurs, he would be more than just an All Star.Flipping the Script: The Cleveland Cavaliers, Washington Wizards and Charlotte Bobcats all won last night. It is a miracle.

The Washington Wizards defeated the Chicago Bulls to go 7-3 in their last 10 games. Surprisingly 5 of the wins actually came from projected playoff teams.

Despite shooting a rare 50 percent from the three, the Minnesota Timberwolves would fall to the Charlotte Bobcats. Led by Kemba Walker, who had 25 points (8 of 17), 8 rebounds and 8 assists, the Bobcats managed to keep to game close for Gerald Henderson to hit the game winner to snap their 16 game home losing streak (2nd longest in NBA history).

What a crazy possession.

Your Mighty Beardness: James Harden is doing pretty well as a Rocket. He had 29 points on 7 of 15 shooting, and 7 assists to weather Deron Williams's hot first quarter, where he dropped 20 points (7 of 7). But it didn't matter, because DWill would only score 7 points in the next 3 quarters and Houston would come out on top.

Don't Call it a Comeback: The Portland Trail Blzers went on a 10-0 run late in the game to comeback to beat the Los Angeles Clippers. Nicholas Batum got his second career triple double with 20 points (7 of 15), 10 rebounds, and 12 assists. Blake Griffin on the other hand, got 24 points, 8 rebounds, 10 assists, 4 steals and one of the most spectacular in game dunks in NBA history.

Highlights

Aerial Assault: The Denver Nuggets can run really fast, and score 28 more points than the Sacramento Kings.

Hot Potato: The Blazers shares the basketball very well.

Barnes and Poster: Harrison Barnes did this, shot 2 of 3 from the field and Mark Jackson still only gave him 13 minutes of playing time. Stop clipping the wings of the Black Falcon.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Unlike his teammate, Russell Westbrook is not much a giver. You probably know that already from watching him constantly pull up for contested jump-shots instead of trying to get the ball to wide open teammates. Just kidding, his assists numbers have definitely gone up this year, but these jokes will always be funny.

I kind of feel bad for that Sacramento Kings fan (I am assuming this is the case, as the game was played in Sac-Town). His favorite team might be leaving his home and Russell Westbrook denied him of his sweaty towel. Can't the Kings fans get anything?

In the NBA, the formula for success is simple and the Lakers, as a franchise is a living prove of it. The Gold and Purple was always successful because they have mastered this formula. It's easy, they put great players together and let them go to work. On the surface, it would seem like things would fall into place on their own, but Championships are not won by just purchasing multiple All Star players. It obviously takes more than that, and what better example of this, than the 2012-2013 Lakers. This team, built over the summer, put four future hall of famers together, all playing for a common goal. Expectations were high, and the Championship was supposed to be a sure-win. But after three months, those odds are looking bleak. The Lakers have only 39 more games left in their schedule, sitting at a record of 18-25, playoffs might even be out of the question. Evidently, this team has more than just problems on the court, and according to Dwight Howard, the negativity among teammates, fans and media is one of the issues. Coincidentally, he knows how to fix them as well.

"I'm just talking about negativity in general," Howard said. "That's
like a dark cloud, and the more you feed into the negativity, the bigger
it gets. So, we have to change that and we have to believe. For all the
fans and everybody who support the Lakers, believe. Yes, we're
struggling. Yes, it's not the best time to be a Laker fan or a Laker
player, but we will get out of it. There's a rainbow on the other end.
We just got to make sure we get to it. I don't know if we got to eat
some more Skittles or whatever it may be, but we got to find a way."

Yep, the problem with the Lakers was just that they weren't eating Skittles before basketball games and not totally because of their terrible defense. Okay.

I can't blame Coach Kevin McHale, for his reaction. Anyone would react this way upon learning about the name change. Sure, you can make your jokes now, but when a Pelican walks up to you, there is only a 1% chance where you won't immediately soil yourself. If not, you will after learning a few things about these diabolical aquatic birds. Pelicans are hyper-carnivores, which means they don't eat anything that doesn't bleed. Imagine if you were stuck inside the pouch of that gigantic beak. Fighting aimlessly to get out of the bird's mouth, knowing that your time on Planet Earth is up. And then somehow, slowly swallowed into their body. This would have been your fate (video).

I won't be be surprised at all if you haven't already added a little brown to your pants. It is only natural.

Last night, at the Detroit Pistons vs. Miami Heat game, Michael Drysch became the luckiest man alive. Not only was he given a chance to shoot from half court to win $75,000, he actually made the basket. On top of all of that, he won a hug from the best basketball player in the world from his favorite team. There is no greater moment for a NBA fan than winning a large sum of money and sharing that glorious moment with your beloved athlete. While I am not sure why he went with the unconventional hook shot, instead of the regular heave or underrated granny shot (so underrated), it worked and everyone is happy. Well, except for that guy in Atlanta, who landed a more difficult task of getting the ball stuck on the rim from half court and only got to fill his pockets with $5,000 dollars.

Not a great slate of basketball last night, of the 11 games played, 8 were blow outs and they weren't even the fun kind, that is unless you are a fan of the winning team.

Rocket Fuel: James Harden blasted off for 30 points (8 of 15 shooting), 4 rebounds and 8 assists in the Rockets' 3rd win in their last 10 games. If they are not careful, they might let the Lakers slip into the playoffs. This the Beard's 13th game this season with 30+ points, tying his Hairness to LeBron James for 4th most in the NBA.

Burning Motor City: When all three of the Big 3 each have double digit points, there is nothing you can really do about it, especially if you are the Pistons. In the second quarter, LeBron and Wade combined for 26 of the Heat's 30 points in the period to outscore Pistons' 20. LeBron finished with 23 points (9 of 14), 7 rebounds and 7 assists, while Dwyane traveled back in time to 2006. Putting up 29 points on 12 of 20 shooting, 4 rebounds, 7 assists and 3 steals in the win. Shout out to Greg Monroe for scoring 31 points (12-17) and grabbing 12 boards to keep the Pistons within 25 points against the reigning champions.

Boards: Dwight Howard actually tried today and got himself 17 points (8 of 12) and 13 rebounds. Maybe it is a good idea to stop faking your injury. In other Laker news, Kobe Bryant, for the 4th time in his career, played 30+ minutes and had more assists (14) than field goal attempts (10). Steve Nash had only 2 assists. I don't even know this world anymore.

Rookie Watch: Bradley Beal has not failed to impress as of late, he had 16 points on 6 of 11 shooting and 4 blocks (I don't know how) in the victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves, one of the victims of the 8 blowouts.

Don't Call it a Comeback: Call it a new-low for the Boston Celtics. Just when it looked like Boston was going to leave the Highlight Factory with an easy win, the Atlanta Hawks fought back from a 27 point deficit to comeback for the double overtime victory on Kyle Korver's franchise setting 8 three pointers in the second half.

After scoring only 10 points in the first quarter, the Hawks would outscore Boston 85-54 after the first half. The Celtics are now on a six game losing streak.

Skewered Buck: Despite the Milwaukee Bucks shooting 14 of 28 (50%) from the three and Ersan Illyasova going off for 30 points on 11 of 21 shooting and 7 rebounds. They would get outmatched by another solo effort by the masked Kyrie Irving, who dropped a game-high 35 points on 17 shots to win it for his Cleveland Cavaliers. This is the 6th time this month, where Kyrie has scored 30 points or more.

Triple Double-Doubles: Three of the Chicago Bulls' starting front court, Joakim Noah (14/16), Carlos Boozer (15/13) and Jimmy Butler (16/12, his first) all got double-doubles last night in the win against the Golden State Warriors. We don't say this enough, but Kirk Hinrich has been great for the Bulls, he had 25 points on 6 of 7 threes and 4 assists to improve Chicago to a 3 game winning streak. Yay for Mr. tiny goggles.

Highlights

Long Jump: If you watch closely, Kevin Durant can extend his limbs to any desirable length.

Fake Out: Paul Millsap fooled at least three players on the Lakers with one move.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Do you feel
obligated to make a shot after someone gives you a really special pass,
like behind-the-back? From a spectator’s standpoint, it always feels
like a supreme let down when players don’t make a shot on great passes.
Do you feel the same way?

Absolutely. For me, there are basically 2 ways I can make the SC Top
10. The first is getting dunked on (i.e. Blake Griffin). And the
second, is if Manu hits me with some ridiculous
cross-court-bullet-no-look-behind-the-back-pass and I somehow catch it
and make the ensuing wide-open shot.

You see what happens when you don't get Glen Davis, his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I told you to feed Big Baby when he asks for it. Now poor Aaron Gray has to pay for your mistake, dude is probably mentally scarred for life. No amount of therapy can fix this.

Eighteen days ago, the Boston Celtics defeated the New York Knicks at the Madison Square Garden 102-96 and created the one of the greatest, possibly fictional controversy in NBA history. The focus was not on the actual game itself, but rather on what was said during it. According to unknown sources, it was reported that notorious trash talker, Kevin Garnett said to the face of Carmelo Anthony that Lala (Melo's wife) tasted like honey nut cheerios. Whether this actually happened or not, nobody knows except for the two, however something was said by KG that did cause Melo to not only go into the Boston locker room post game to confront Garnett and also made him wait outside of the Celtics team bus to "talk." Nothing really happened, Carmelo did get suspended for a game and as part of the process, the internet exploded with terrible cereal jokes.

When something gets on the internet, it stays forever. So of course when the Knicks visited the TD Garden yesterday to play the Celtics, the fans of the green decided to get creative and make Cheerios signs in an attempt to throw off Melo. Unfortunately their hard work would go to waste, as the security confiscated any Cheerios-related displays to ruin the fun.

They didn't stop this bro though, he apparently was able to sneak it in.

If you haven't been following Thursday NBA basketball on TNT lately, let me fill you in on what you missed out. Charles Barkley has recently embraced eyebrow waxing in his beauty routine and obviously the guys back in the TNT studio are giving him a rough for time for it. You know the guys will never let him hear the end of it. So when Charles Barkley went down to Phoenix to do color commentary instead of the usual halftime gig, the fellas ripped him apart. They dedicated the entire show to roasting Charles and it was hilarious.

It is okay Charles, they hate you because you are beautiful and totally not for doing something emasculating. They are not those kind of people, right?

Bonus Video: Shaq got jumped by one of the TNT staff members earlier in the show.

About a month ago, the New Orleans Hornets under new management have decided to change their nickname from the Hornets to the Pelicans. As you all know, or if you have just started to follow the blog, I am on Team Pelican and is fully supportive of the change. I was persuaded of the mascot opportunities and countless of YouTube videos that featured these vicious aquatic birds, which I strongly recommend you to check out before criticizing the name. You will be surprised.

The logo itself turned out pretty well, while I prefer their current unique color scheme of Creole Blue, Dark Purple. Mardi Gras Gold and White. The Blue, Red and Gold is alright, but it has already been done by the Cleveland Cavaliers, so that's a little disappointing. Here are the alternate logos and their descriptions.

This is some information on the colors chosen:

Okay, I get the why they chose blue and gold, but what is up with description of red. "It also represents the legend of the mother pelican pricking her own breast to feed her young in times of need, doing whatever it takes to endure." What is this? Did they run out of ideas and decided to watch a pelican feature on Animal Planet? We don't need to know that. Gross.

Toronto Raptors vs. Orlando Magic: The Raptors did it! They won a close game! Up by double digits late in the game, the Raptors did Raptor-y things that allowed the Magic to crawl back from the deficit to tie the game with 20 seconds left on the game clock. Normally, this would go into overtime, where Toronto will crumble with a familiarity that we are accustomed to seeing and lose another hard fought battle, but DeMar DeRozan would not let it happen. The shooting guard scored 14 of his 22 points (10 of 17) in the 4th quarter, including this buzzer beating basket to win the game.

Demar DeRozan also did this to the Magic.

Shout Out: To Nikola Vucevic, who led Orlando with a team high 19 points on 8 of 14 shooting and 14 rebounds.

New York Knicks vs. Boston Celtics: The Knicks finally snapped their 13 game losing streak at the TD Garden, where they haven't won since November, 2006. Carmelo Anthony had a game-high 28 points on an inefficient 11 of 28 shooting, 9 rebounds and 3 assists. This is Melo's 27th straight 20+ points game, moving him past Amar'e Stoudemire for the third longest streak in Knicks' history. On the other side, Rajon Rondo got his 27th career triple double, it is the 20th on national TV and the 4th one this season. His 23 points, 10 boards and 11 dimes ties him with Bill Russell for the 4th most triple doubles in Celtics History. Paul Pierce had a great first half, scoring 19 of his 22 points, but he would go without hitting a single field goal in the second. To make things even stranger for the Knick slayer, in the final two critical possessions of the game, Pierce turns the ball over twice, basically losing the game for his team. The Boston struggle continues. (Via: @cjzero)

Los Angeles Clippers vs. Phoenix Suns: Chris Paul was injured, the Clippers played awful and the Phoenix Suns took advantage. Goran Dragic led all Suns with 24 points on 5 of 12 shooting, 5 rebounds and 8 assists in the victory. As for the Clippers, Blake Griffin dunked. A lot.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

How do you actually sprain your ankle defending someone dribbling a basketball? I don't know if it is even possible. Whatever, if Jamal Crawford says he has done it before, I would believe him. Look at what he did to Rudy Gay here. It is obvious Crawford possesses one of the best handles in the league, and that he probably worked countless hours, relentlessly perfecting his craft, but guess what? He has never practiced his dribbling ever. Not once.

Crawford's crossover is largely a function of quickness, deception and
crafty ballhandling. Ambidextrous since infancy, he can fake out
defenders going to his left or his right, though he has found that teams
often shade him as if he prefers going to his right.

Growing up, Crawford would dribble to the mall. He would dribble to the
movies. If anyone stepped in his way, Crawford would make a move and
keep going, not saying a word.

You might be surprised to know that Crawford never practices his crossover — or his dribbling, for that matter.

"It sounds crazy, right?" he said. "But I'm being dead honest. I just
read what the defender does. And I think that's why it looks the way it
does; it's different than anybody else's because it's not like I hit a
cone or hit a spot and then did a move. It's along the lines of what the
defender is doing."

You can't blame Chris Bosh for constantly video bombing his teammates. After all, he once used to be the franchise player on a team in Canada. He must miss the media attention he once drawn, but it is okay, he is willing to be the under-appreciated third fiddle as long as the Miami Heat continues to win. Who cares anyways, don't you want to keep seeing Chris Bosh do weird things?

The 2012-2013 NBA season hasn't been too nice to the Lakers since the beginning. After acquiring two All Stars over the summer to join forces with another pair of All Stars, the Lakers were sure favorites to win the Championship. Fast forward 3 months later, they are 17-25, riddled with injuries, players are unhappy and no one knows what to do. It's simple just to say their issues are dependent on defense because they are ranked 20th in the league in defensive rating, allowing an average of 107 points a game to their opponents, but there are definitely problems that goes beyond their struggles on the court. Poor Steve Nash was left alone to fend for himself.

Even Kobe, who has been surprisingly optimistic so far this season, has finally broken. BROKEN.

Soak in it Laker fans, this is the face of a man drowned in sorrow. Once the Lakers fail to make the playoffs, which will happen because they have tough schedule ahead of them and will need to win the next 31 of their upcoming 40 games, just to secure a playoff spot. The majestic Kobe will crumble and the inner pathological monster in him will crawl out. Killing every single one of his teammates, and coaches before taking away his own life. Okay, that won't happen but there will be changes in the organization, hopefully it doesn't involve duffel bags.

Last time on Javale McGee Presents, I showed you guys a Washington Wizards tribute throwback performance by Javale. Showing the mishaps that he is notoriously known for. However, once in a while we get plays like this. Where he does something so spectacular and totally unnecessary that leaves you speechless and question whether it was in fact a good or a bad thing. Obviously he got those two points, but was it worth popping one of the veins on George Karl's forehead in the process?

If you are wondering why he placed his finger on top of his lips, it is because he has a mustache tattoo on his left index finger that he uses to let you know that "Pierre", his alter ego was responsible for that dunk. Yea, he is a weird dude.

Gold Rush: The Golden State Warriors are not kidding around. Stephen Curry validated his All Star candidacy today by straight up outplaying Russell Westbrook. The 13 year old had 31 points on a rare 11 of 27 shooting night, where he was cold from the three, hitting only 3 of his 14 attempts. He also had 7 rebounds, 3 assists, 4 steals and a shimmy on his knees to rub it in the face of Westbrook.

Bad Russ had the worst night of his life, going for only 10 points (3 of 16), 5 rebounds and 4 assists. Kevin Durant however, picked up the slack with 33 points (10 of 17), 5 boards and 9 dimes in the loss.

Note: The Warriors are the only team that has defeated the Heat, Clippers and Thunder, so maybe they could make another miraculous run in the playoffs.

Carl Landry's legs folded at the sight of an incoming Kevin Durant and I don't blame them.

Feathers: Josh Smith has longed for a night where he actually scores the basketball with efficiency. His dreams came true today against the Bobcats, he had 30 points (15 of 24), 13 rebounds, 8 assists and 3 blocks in the win because the Bobcats are the Bobcats. The only reason that this wasn't a blowout, was due to Ramon Sessions dropping 27 points to keep the game closer than it really should be.

Oh Canada: The Toronto Raptors did it again, after building a 15 point lead in between the third quarter, they blew it again and allowed the Miami Heat to comeback for the win in overtime. Jose Calderon led Toronto with 17 points from 5 of 6 three point shooting. While LeBron James grabbed his second triple double of the season with 31 points, 10 rebounds and 11 assists. Dwyane Wade chipped in another 35 points on 13 of 19 shooting and 7 assists to put the Raptors into extinction.

Don't call it a Comeback: Trailing by 17 early in the third quarter, the Chicago Bulls rallied 28 points in the 4th to outscore Detroit's 14 to take the W at home. Joakim Noah was huge late in this game, saving the ball from going out of bounds and into the hands of Marco Bellinelli, who drew a three point play to win the game.

Replacement: Filling in for the injured Tim Duncan, Tiago Splitter went
10 of 11 from the field for 25 points and 7 rebounds in the victory over
the New Orleans Hornets. His teammate, Tony Parker added 24 points (10
of 18), 4 rebounds and 13 assists. No biggie, he does that in about every game.

Ripped in another City: The Indiana Pacers suffered a 20 point defeat to the Portland Trail Blazers at the Rose Garden. LaMarcus Aldridge had a game-high 27 points on 12 of 17 shooting and 6 rebounds. The future Rookie of Year, Damian Lillard got 20 points (9 of 16) and 8 assists.

Highlights

Fancy: Ricky Rubio doesn't care that you are in the way, he will just pass the basketball right through you.

It seems like every NBA player wants to be a rapper these days. There are definitely a few standouts in the music making, namely Stephen Jackson and Iman Shumpert, but aside from those two, no one really had a successful rap career. But that doesn't stop little Jeff Teague from dreaming.

"If I didn't play basketball and love it like I do I would be a battle rapper," Atlanta Hawks point guard Jeff Teague tweeted out just days before the start of the 2012-13 NBA season.

"So, you want to do rap battles," I started, as Teague began to laugh. "Are you the team's best rapper?" I asked.

And before he could even answer, from three lockers away, Ivan Johnson chimed in with a declarative, "Oh, hell no!"

Teague smiled, adding, "Lou Will does videos and stuff. I don't know if I can compete with that.

Johnson made sure to reinforce his point that no, indeed, Teague
isn't the team's best rapper, with yet another "hell no" still from
three lockers away. And when I asked Johnson if he wanted to take claim to the rap battle title, Johnson laughed and said, "No, I'm more of an R&B dude."

"He listens to Sade," Teague said,..

You are looking at a man that self proclaimed to be a R&B dude and loves Sade. Something that I would never imagine, but hey, if he says so, you have to believe him. Other wise to will be the seeing the bad side of Ivan Johnson that no one dares to confront.

As for Lou Williams, I checked out a few of his songs, it is actually not bad. He does in fact have music videos, if you call him rapping in a black drop, half naked, a video. You will find Lou rapping about the common themes, culturalized by modern hip-hop. So if you are into NBA players talking about money and getting women, you can give him a listen.

Glen Davis doesn't kid around when it comes to food. He might be one of the goofiest guys in the NBA, but you don't ever want to tick him off by not preparing the sandwiches he requested for. If you want to live, you will have to sacrifice a few of your groceries. Legend has it that every day, a giant baby will rise from his slumber and request food from the good citizens of Orlandogard. Citizens are asked to prepare a different meal 12 times a day and if they fail to comply to his demands, men will be lost.

FEED HIM. FEED HIM NOW BEFORE HE RAMPAGES THROUGH YOUR VILLAGE AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN.

This is the season of the NBA referees, you guys. I am telling you, in the history of NBA, there has not been so many referee related incidents. Earlier this season we had an official caught secretly working for the Miami Heat, then another one blocking free throw shots, one stalling games on national TV and one that danced Gangnam Style with a mascot. Finally, we have an innocent official getting a surprise from Caron Butler. I hope David Stern calls Derek Richardson (victim) tomorrow and give him a flop warning for that, because flinches resulting from actual hits can't put you on the floor. That is unless Caron Butler possesses an advanced, state of the art, biologically engineered arm that can send a man through the crust of the Earth and deep into the mantle. But that's probably impossible, so the only reasonable explanation is that, there must be something in the water of the LA Clippers facility that makes everyone exaggerate their body movements. In that case, I would like advise against Blake Griffin from drinking that water, he is way too hopped up on that stuff.

Just to clarify, Charles Barkley is a 49 year old, former NBA All Star that apparently has no idea how to put his tie together.

I guess when you are knee-deep in money, you don't need to know how to do the essential things in life, because you can always get someone to do it for you. I, myself, am not a tie tying expert either, but I do believe that was a half windsor, right? I have only done my tie once and avoided doing it again by leaving it in the knot. Please don't tell me that I am the only one that does this. It is not weird.

The first half of the 2012-2013 NBA season is officially over, and if
the second half resembles anything like the first, the postseason will
be insane.

Masked Man: Kyrie Irving has been nothing but incredible for the Cleveland Cavaliers. For a guy stuck with a horrible cast, he has managed to repeatedly drag his team to victory. He went for a career high 19 points in the first quarter, to finish with a game-high 40 points on 16 of 24 shooting, 3 rebounds, 5 assists and 2 steals in the victory over the Boston Celtics. After starting the new year with a 6 game winning streak, Boston has fallen into a 4 game losing streak as of late.

Speaking of the Celtics, this Rajon Rondo assists stat padding is getting out of control. He is even going out of his way to help his opponents for assists. Someone needs to tell him, that basketball doesn't work like that.

Gunning: Ersan Illyasova is still occasionally able to fill up the stat sheet, the Turkish man had 27 points (10 of 17), 16 rebounds (7 Offensive), 2 assists and 3 steals. Brandon Jennings dropped 25 points (8 of 17), 7 dimes and 3 steals in the win against the Philadelphia 76ers. The Sixers allowed the Bucks to shoot 52 percent from the field, no wonder they lost even after three of their players scored 20+ points. Evan Turner led the team with 23 points, 6 rebounds and 7 assists. Spencer Hawes had 21 and 12. Lastly, Nick Young came off the bench for 20 points and a dunk to put the NBA leader in blocks, Larry Sanders to shame.

You can't always get them all, Larry.

Automatic: In his first start of the season, J.J Redick went off for 26 points on 9 of 10 shooting, including 5 of 6 from the three in the victory over the Detroit Pistons. His teammate, Jameer Nelson added 14 points and 9 assists to pass Penny Hardaway for 6th place in the Magic all time scoring list.

Best of the West: Kevin Durant and his Oklahoma City Thundertook down the Chris Paul-less Clippers last night, with a 32 point (12 of 19), 5 of 6 three point shooting, 7 rebound and 7 assist performance from the potential MVP candidate. His spontaneous partner in crime, Russell Westbrook chipped in 26 points on 9 of 19 shooting, 4 rebounds and 6 assists. As for the Clippers, everyone except Blake Griffin, who had 31 points (11 of 19), 11 rebounds and 5 assists, failed to show up in the loss last night.