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Author
Topic: blonde joke (Read 5138 times)

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decides to hire herself out as a handyman-type and starts canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She goes to the front door of the first house and asks the owner if he has any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," the man says. "How much do you charge?"

The blond says, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agrees and tells her the paint and ladders that she might need are in the garage. A short time later, the blonde comes back to the door to collect her money.

"Your finished already?" the man says. "Yes," the blonde answers, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reaches in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde adds, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Logged

Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator. In came a handsome hunk, gorgeous except for a dandruff problem. When he got off, the brunette turned to the blonde and said "Hot stuff. But someone needs to give him Head & Shoulders."

A blond is in Las Vegas in one of those really big casinos. She gets lost and ends up in the employee lounge. While she's in the lounge, she decides to put some coins in one of the machines there. She pushes a button on the machine and out comes a candy prize! She does it again and there's another candy prize. An employee comes in and finds that she's bought almost everything in the vending machine, but she's still shoving in coins. He asks "Ma'am, can I ask what you're doing?" She replies "Duh, I'm winning!"

a blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember