Do you/will you/did you spank your children?

Dec 21, 2012 5:31 PM

I was spanked and I feel like it was an integral part of my raising ( I was beyond hard headed ). I know there is a line that parents must be wary not to cross. I just feel like a pop now and then while misbehaving is sometimes the best way to get a point across.

Top Answers

I was spanked growing up. As a child, who didn't understand the complexity of consequences, and the deep requirement for a respect of authority and others, spankings were a simple way (and often the only way) to get through to me.

When done by loving parents, who understand that children can't be reasoned with like adults, spanking provides the structure for a family and appreciation for your parents later in life.

@moondrake: I think you make an excellent point. You need to know the personality of your children (furry or otherwise), make the discipline appropriate to the crime, and make sure you aren't disciplining in anger. When a baby is too young to understand that something is dangerous a gentle swat on the hand makes them understand that particular thing has consequences. Some children when older respond to a stern voice. I was a very sensitive kid and having someone "mad" or disappointed in me hurt me as much or more than a spanking. I have a brother who grew up thinking my parents were "mean" because he didn't understand and was acting out for attention. My sister on the other hand would push the line until someone spanked her and then she realized that person was in charge and then would obey them, she had a rough time in kindergarten till the teacher spanked her (at my mom's insistence, back when it wouldn't have been a legal matter)

I was spanked growing up. As a child, who didn't understand the complexity of consequences, and the deep requirement for a respect of authority and others, spankings were a simple way (and often the only way) to get through to me.

When done by loving parents, who understand that children can't be reasoned with like adults, spanking provides the structure for a family and appreciation for your parents later in life.

My mom did cross that line growing up, sometimes for ridiculous stuff. I think it cost me a lot of my ability to trust people. I also learned pretty early that justice and punishment are not always related. I don't have any kids of my own, but I do keep Great Danes. What I have learned with them is that you have to know your dog very well in order to assess the proper level of correction. Simba is my sixth Great Dane, and he is the only one who has required serious physical correction. For several of the others, corporal punishment would not have been a good tool. For a couple of the others the occasional smack on the butt was enough. Simba is a 140lb alpha male who was turned in to AC for euthanasia because he was so dog aggressive he'd turn on his owner. It took a lot of training, much of it using a vinegar water spray bottle and a riding crop to get him in hand. The aggression is under control but even now he sometimes still needs a spanking to get his attention.

@moondrake: I think you make an excellent point. You need to know the personality of your children (furry or otherwise), make the discipline appropriate to the crime, and make sure you aren't disciplining in anger. When a baby is too young to understand that something is dangerous a gentle swat on the hand makes them understand that particular thing has consequences. Some children when older respond to a stern voice. I was a very sensitive kid and having someone "mad" or disappointed in me hurt me as much or more than a spanking. I have a brother who grew up thinking my parents were "mean" because he didn't understand and was acting out for attention. My sister on the other hand would push the line until someone spanked her and then she realized that person was in charge and then would obey them, she had a rough time in kindergarten till the teacher spanked her (at my mom's insistence, back when it wouldn't have been a legal matter)

I had a three count rule that took care of most of the bad behaviors, but there were a few times when a spanking (again with a three swat limit) was warranted and administered. I saved spankings for things that could cause harm (like running out in the middle of the street). I never went over the three limit with spankings and I always used my hand. I was abused as a child and could not see the need to ever do that to my child. In my daughters entire life (18 years now) I spanked her a total of 5 times. The punishment has to fit the crime.

I will say that I tried every type of punishment you can think of that didn't include spankings for most misbehaving. Most did not work with my child and creativity was needed. I have grounded her from talking, styling her hair, nail polish, and "pretty" clothes. I have made her write papers on what was done wrong and how it could have been done another way and read them out loud. Those things always seemed to work.

yep, 3 kids, all get spanked when needed, all are well-adjusted, and well behaved, doing well in school, and overall very happy children. Occasional standing in the corner for smaller offenses also works. If that option doesn't work, even a threat of a spanking is an effective escalation. I wish it were legal to spank other people's kids in the checkout line.

I also tend to ignore any person who voices an opinion on spankings one way or the other if they don't have kids of their own.... for them, any discipline discussion is strictly theoretical, as we tend to revise our own histories a bit when thinking back 20+ years.

I was spanked as a child. I grew up OK, I'm not scarred for life and I learned many important lessons! My favorite one to this day was when I was crying because I couldn't get something I wanted in a store. My moms reaction (after taking me outside so people didn't have to listen to me crying) was to say, you want a reason to cry, I'll give you a reason to cry and then she smacked me. I'll tell you, it took all of twice to learn NEVER to do that again! Both my brother and I were well behaved in public for the fear of being spanked or disciplined in some other creative way (my mom had a ton of ways to make the punishment fit the crime!). We are both adults, and both of us respect others and treat them kindly because of the way we were brought up.

I fully intent to spank my kids if necessary (if I ever have them). I will do whatever it takes to keep my child safe and have him or her grow into a nice respectful human being, and not a spoiled brat who throws a tantrum all the time.

@Moondrake: yep. I've had a few dogs, but before now I have never needed to use more than a stern voice with them - but both my boys now require a stern voice, a bit of volume, and physical direction once in a while. It's so strange.

I don't equate resorting to physical violence as a form of discipline as good parenting. Unless you were beaten by a parent supposedly disciplining you, you can't or won't understand this. I got off easy. One of my friends has at least 100 scars on his back from lashings he received as a kid.

I was spanked rarely, by hand or belt. Zero emotional or physical damage. It was more the minor humiliation that was the point.
OTOH, I was screamed at for hours and called worthless, starting before age 2, when a certain adult's feelings had been hurt (the adult's own phrasing). The adult was a basically good and well meaning person who didnt know how to deal with stuff. THAT was a prob that took years to solve.

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