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I think the biggest thing you can do is to keep reassuring them that he (your dh) is not trying to take their father's place, but that he loves them too. Maybe the three of them could start spending time together w/o you being there. To sort of let them bond and talk about things. I'm going throught the same situation right now w/ my own 10 yr. old ds but in the opposite manner. My 10 yr. old ds is very close to his step-father but now that he's getting older, he's starting to get angry and be more agressive about his BF not being in his life. 10 is a rough age for any child, let alone when they have to readjust to change. Some kids (hell, some adults) have a harder time with it than others. But consistency is the key. Hang in there, things will get better. O, and if you find something that works, let me know! Vice versa!