Wednesday, April 26

The old movie cliche...An airplane takes off and/or lands and you know the film has taken you to another geographic destination. So how do we share our experience of making it to a new place in life? It is difficult for us to make the announcement to friends and family when we have made a leap of understanding or somehow taken our lives to the next level. Words are struggled for and gestures do not always capture the meaning we seek. Some experiences make it easy. Announcing a wedding, pregnancy, new job, new house. These are the obvious standards by which we easily measure growth. But what of the more important changes that occur bit by bit within ourselves? It has been interesting in my own life as I struggle with moving forward, stalling a bit, perhaps losing ground, before a new catalyst provides a boost in the desired direction.

What is more difficult to ascertain is how my loved ones are in their experience. It is easy with the little ones. Hearts are worn on sleeves as they seek to master walking, being independent, teaching elders what they know. Spending time with children is quickly rewarding. They are telling you all the time who they are and what they want. Family gatherings have become joyous in their simplicity. We watch the children to better undertand and laugh at ourselves. My own drama is far less entertaining than the phrases composed by my niece. Every sentence is a wonder. What becomes difficult is watching your sisters and brothers, mother and father as they grapple with life.

There is a familiarity about the tools they use to negotiate sorrow and or joy. The perfectionist will continue to strive for perfection. The doubter will doubt. The optimist will make those "glass-half-full" statements the same way they always have. But how do you connect with them after years of doing so in a patented way? How do you acknowledge their pain beyond saying "I'm sorry?" It is a mystery this life. But I believe, the children understand.

2 comments:

Townshend
said...

What a wonderful and thoughtful piece of writing. I am touched by your insight and longing for depth on this subject.

I agree it is difficult to share incremental but important changes in life. I'm not sure I have an answer, and as a male I want to provide you with an answer. I do think over time people who are close to you notice changes, but typically long after the change has been made internally.

Ultimately I believe all life stems from the perception of your reality. The perception of your reality truly does CREATE YOUR REALITY and defines your existence.

Changing your perception of reality is a deeply personal and soulful experience and it takes time to share it outwardly.

In addition, I agree children have a much easier time with this because their perception of reality is still forming and they are not as constrained on a conscious or unconscious level by the physical and sociological aspects of existence. As we age our perception of reality is formed by our experiences positive or negative, and we share these perceptions and internal changes much more carefully because of the potential consequences. A child carries very little of this baggage and can share and demonstrate changes openly.

I don't even know if any of that made sense.

I think you have to accept those around you i.e., family and friends for who they are unless of course they are hurting themselves or others. When you notice changes in them remember these changes have taken place internally at some level of consciouness long before you noticed at an external level. If you should remark to them about your observations of how they have changed they may act surprised, and quite possibly could be surprised. However, upon time to further reflect and get in touch with their inner-self they will know the change is self-evident.

That's my best guess.

Here is a song quote for you:"Thinking it right doing it wrong life's easier from an armchair. Waves of alternatives wash at my sleepiness. Have my eggs poached for breakfast... I guess." Roger Taylor