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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Random Passing Thoughts, Is. 4

Anniversary edition of Random Passing Thoughts

With my mom and dad's anniversary tomorrow, then mine and Miranda's on Saturday I wanted to write down thoughts on marriage._____________________

Quote from Steve Carell as Michael Scott on the Office:"Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.' Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals… gold metals".

I've mentioned before that certain parts of our wedding and reception weren't "perfect". Now that I think about it, it really was. The length of the ceremony, having no music at the reception, opening the presents there, or any of the other things that "went wrong"...none of it matters. It was perfect because of who I married, not because of how it went.

My parents have been married for 41 years now. That's about 39 years more than the average marriage lasts anymore.

My parents have taught me that marriage isn't always perfect, but it is the most sacred, real thing you can have in your life.

They've also taught me that the secret to a happy home is love.

Some people call their spouse "the ol' ball and chain". For me, she's more like the key that unlocked my potential as a person.

Miranda and I have been married for six years now. It seems like it has been so much longer than that; yet it also seems like we've only had a few short moments together.

Marriage is everything I hoped it would be - and much, much more.

Marriage is hard work, but is the best work you could find.

I've not been married long, but I've learned a few things. Here is some advice for other married men:

1) Try not to ask if your wife is mad. If she is mad, she won't tell you. If she wasn't mad, she is now.

2) When you're asked how your wife looks, if she looks fat, if she's pretty, etc. always be sincere when you answer. Answer quickly, but sincerely.

3) Compliment her even if she doesn't ask. Don't wait for her to ask how she looks. Let her know.

4) Always open the door when you have the opportunity to do so. She may never acknowledge that you do it, but the first time you don't do it, she'll let you know.

5) Always order from a local florist when (not if) you send flowers. I ordered from 1800Flowers once. It was a dozen beautiful roses...that came in a box. Part of the fun in receiving flowers is having everyone else get jealous as they watch them go by.

6) Give a few years before and between children. It will help you grow stronger as a couple. Just don't wait too long because that could hurt you too.

7) Be the first to say "I'm sorry". Again, be sincere and quick about it.

8) Don't do things you know you'll have to apologize later for: not doing what you have said you would do, doing what you said you wouldn't do, coming home late and not calling, or forgetting a birthday/anniversary (I've never done that!).

9) Purposefully go out of your way to show you love your wife. Say it, but make sure your actions back it up. Figure out what your wife believes to be "showing you love her" - i.e. letters and cards, small presents, doing housework without being told to, giving shoulder rubs, etc.

10) Make her the most important person in your world. My baby girl is wonderful and I love her dearly, but there is no greater love in my heart for any one person like there is for Miranda. Don't neglect, take for granted, or ever forget that they are your #1. Make sure they know it too!