I Said No

Tonight I am pondering once again how busy life is, and how easy it is to get caught up in the moment and accept invitations, obligations, and distractions into our lives. Last week I was invited to a Pampered Chef Party. Well, I LOVE Pampered Chef and I love Pampered Chef parties. The invitation came from a lady from our new church, and it seemed like a great way to get to know her better, as well as some of the other ladies.

It was scheduled on a Monday evening. Well, Monday nights are “chess” night. Our daughter, Sarah plays in chess tournaments on Monday nights and I meet Christina up there and together we clip our coupons and plan any specials shopping we need to do to take advantage of sales and coupons. It is a 3 hour block of time, more than enough to get that finished. Anne Mary usually goes with us and hangs around and helps with coupons. Duncan keeps the boys and attempts to get some work done.

So when I got the invitation I was really excited, but at the same time something kept making me reconsider the invite. I started by sending an email to Duncan to see if it was okay with him if I went. He said yes. Then I explained that it meant he would be stuck at chess with all four of the children. He told me, “No problem, if you want to go, it is fine with me.”

Cool. Hurdle one complete.

But still, something kept nagging at me. The word: “Routines” kept coming to mind. Then, “blowing in the wind.” I was a little annoyed by these thoughts. I wanted to go, Duncan did not mind, and childcare was not an issue. Why not just go?

So, after a few days of considering the invitation, it came time to make a decision. Then, I was suddenly reminded about why I have routines and structure in my life, and that I have choices to make every day that will determine my own energy stores, my ability to effectively manage my household, and the moods of all my family members. See, while I was off having a fun evening with a bunch of ladies, fun food and great products, my husband and children would be stuck in a small space where the boys had to be quiet and reasonably still. This, after my dear husband had worked all day and could use a break himself. Then, as these things often run late, I would get home late in the evening, too tired to do much at home, and go to bed late. Also, without this time to work on my coupons and such, I would have to cut corners somewhere else or fall behind, making my work more difficult later.

Furthermore, looking over the goals for my life: To continue to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, to take care of my family and my physical well being, and to deepen my relationships with others, I realized that this invitation really would not accomplish any of these purposes in my life right now.

So, I said no. I had a momentary pang of disappointment, but I realized that the Lord would not withhold any good thing from his servant and by sticking to my routine, I had best served my family and accomplished my own personal goals.

Why am I sharing all this with you? Because I used to be a person who was blowing in the wind. I love parties and getting together with other ladies. I love running around a bit. With my personality, it is easy to disregard my well considered plans and run around to the point of distraction.

Before you make a decision about any invitation, obligation, or distraction ask yourself: How does this affect my goals? How will it impact the rest of my family? Is this the best use of my time? What does the Lord say about this activity?

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4 Comments

Becci
on September 12, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this Malia! So many times I am tempted to be “blown by the wind” with my decisions about such things. And I don’t take the time to think thru it like you detailed above. It seems like it would be okay but it’s not okay in the long run for me or my family. Thank you for sharing your thought process about that decision.

Susan
on October 13, 2010 at 8:48 pm

When I’m in a “But it should be MY turn!” mood, I have to think it through as you do. Do I really need to buy those shoes when I should be funding my Christmas club? Do I need to have a “girls’ night out” with my friends on a night my husband is actually home early? Do I need to spend an afternoon watching the soaps when I should be cooking freezer meals and paying bills? Who am I blessing with my actions? Myself? Someone else? Anyone at all? I agree with Becci: if it’s not OK in the long run, then it’s not OK at all. Thanks for the reminder!

Brooke
on November 14, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Thank you. I have always been one to be “blown by the wind”. This is good advice.

Christina
on January 21, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Thanks for putting this on the site, Mom. I really appreciate it. I have been having such a hard time recently focusing on what I need to get done. I could be pushing ahead and getting class work done early, so that I could spend time with my husband when he gets home. Instead, I’ve been ‘blowing in the wind’ I have so much to learn. 🙂 You are the best Mom. Love you – Christina