As promised, I am back to searching ebay for the most bizarre and strange listings.

A man plays with a toy soldier and a lighter creates a "suicidal" army figure and decides to sell it on ebay. What's worse, is that someone actually bought it. Click Here

Now, this ebay auction kinda amused the hell outta me a bit because for a few reasons. One - Why would someone monitor the time and price of everything at every simple step? Two - Shipping cost for priority mail is 3.85 up to 1 pound for the item. Not 4.00 for an onion ring that weighs a couple ounces. Three- The winning bidder "MIGHT" have a free ketchup packet thrown in (as if the winning bidder would eat it) [check the Q+A section]. People tend to fabricate a story enough to make it plausible that an event so "coincidental" could be true. Click Here

I am quite amazed at some of the imaginations people have. This next auction is a coke can with no ring and basically the top of the coke can is gone. The story beind it is pretty interested and very far fetched. But then again what isn't far fetched in the bizarre section of ebay? Click Here for the coke can. My theory is that someone had a coke can sitting in his basement for 15 years and decided to open the can and cut the top off of it and sell it on ebay. What's worse is that the can reached $88 USD dollars. Thoughts?

The price of this next auction should scare everyone off, but you never know. As Barnum and Bailey (the Circus guys for those who dont know) used to say "there is a sucker born every minute" I want to keep a close eye on the sucker that buys this one. This auction is for a pumpkin with the likeness of the Virgin Mary. Click Here

Streetrodracer wrote:I am quite amazed at some of the imaginations people have. This next auction is a coke can with no ring and basically the top of the coke can is gone. The story beind it is pretty interested and very far fetched. But then again what isn't far fetched in the bizarre section of ebay? Click Here for the coke can. My theory is that someone had a coke can sitting in his basement for 15 years and decided to open the can and cut the top off of it and sell it on ebay. What's worse is that the can reached $88 USD dollars. Thoughts?

Yeah, you can see how the prick cut off the ring, ground it flat, filled the seams (to the opening) and painted it silver...

Well, first of all, kudos SRR, for getting this thread back on topic. You're the man of the hour (even though it was many hours ago that you did this, I only noticed this hour, so this is the hour that you're the man of, okay?).. =P

Now, onto business.

Suicidal Army Man - I hope it took him hours to make. 'Cause it sold for a buck. Hopefully the shame and disappointment will keep him off eBay now.

Figure 8 Onion Ring - What can I say, I wouldn't spend 8 cents or 8 seconds of my time to bid on this fucking idiot's auction. I hope this lying idiot gets 8 kinds of plague and is mugged and assraped by 8 crazy homeless people.

Besides, NO order from Burger King comes to exactly $8.00 - I don't think that's even possible - and moreso, I don't know the layout of her local BK drive-thru, but I think it's highly unlikely if not impossible that she could count eight cars waiting ahead of her. Moreso, unless she's obsessive compulsive, why was she making note of the exact time of the drive-thru experience and the exact time she walked in the door afterwards, before she saw the (all too common, absolutely not interesting in any possible way) twisted onion ring?

Unopenable Coke Can - Okay, MP says he can see the marks where this can was cut, ground, filled and painted, but I can't see shit, and I've got 20/10 vision. What'd you do, open it in Photoshop and zoom to some insane angle to compare pixel shades? Also, SRR, you said this sold for USD$88.00, but I dunno what you're smoking - the auction you linked us to still has six days left, and has one bid for 5 GBP - less than USD$9.00. I think we're trying too hard on this one - I mean, obviously the story's a flagrant lie, but this is far from the lamest item on eBay.

Virgin Mary Pumpkin - What more can I say? If there's a hell, this dumb fucker is going to burn in it, just like he burned that cheap likeness into the side of that pumpkin. It's in the commandments people, THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP GRAVEN PUMPKINS!!

Strange Thoughts - At least this ass cracker admits that he's an insane idiot, which explains both the existence of the listing, and the sneakily hidden but offensively inflated shipping price. If it weren't for that latter fact, I'd be tempted to snipe this auction at $1.10, give him an email address I never read, but still keep an eye on the frequency of his mail and sue the shit out of him if he breaks contract. I'll never read a word of his idiotic crap, but it'd be funny to force him to email me every week for a buck. What a dickhole.

Fruits of Doom - Actually, I love this scam. There are so many out there, and all you get for your money is an email with a digital clipart in it, but I've never seen one that didn't have a few bids/buys! This one is a classic moneymaker - it's the buyers that are the idiots, in this case.

The Planet Pluto - I'm fighting the urge to report this choad to eBay, I can't explain why. This one's no worse than some of the others, but something about it makes me want to get this guy banned. But I want everybody here to have a chance to see what a fucking tool this guy is first, so I'll stay strong-willed.

Romantic Guy for 99,999 - Would you like VD with that? Would you like to supersize your ego for just 99c extra? Would you like to get a life, you ass punching knob jockey?! I hope karma gets this dickwad, and he spends the rest of his entire pathetic life miserable and alone, jacking off to syndicated reruns of The Golden Girls, and trying to work out which type of microwaved melon feels most like what he thinks a pussy would have felt like inside. To summarize, die loser.

Well, good to see this thread back on track, anyway. eBay is the neverending fount of humor, where idiots abound and there's always somebody way more pathetic than you. =P

Recently I saw an auction for paying for this guy's fiance's breast job. Basically, you paid for her to get new breasts, and he sends before and after photos. Bidding ended at $53, and the really funny part is that the winner of the auction left a negitive feedback and tried getting his money back after he got the photos.

Hellmark wrote:Recently I saw an auction for paying for this guy's fiance's breast job. Basically, you paid for her to get new breasts, and he sends before and after photos. Bidding ended at $53, and the really funny part is that the winner of the auction left a negitive feedback and tried getting his money back after he got the photos.

Venomous wrote: Also, SRR, you said this sold for USD$88.00, but I dunno what you're smoking - the auction you linked us to still has six days left, and has one bid for 5 GBP - less than USD$9.00. I think we're trying too hard on this one - I mean, obviously the story's a flagrant lie, but this is far from the lamest item on eBay.

StreetRodRacer wrote:What's worse is that the can reached $88 USD dollars

I said it reached 88.00 but not sold for that price. The starting bid was 5 GBP (<$9.00 USD). I just did another quick scan of the listing and this is the price.

GBP 50.00 (Reserve met)
(Approximately US $88.10)

Also, I even thought about reporting the sale of planet pluto to ebay. How the hell can you sell something that you dont offically own??

Streetrodracer wrote:Also, I even thought about reporting the sale of planet pluto to ebay. How the hell can you sell something that you dont offically own??

The Miserable idiot selling Pluto wrote:Due to our recent claim we have decided to sell the planet Pluto. It serves us no purpose and maybe somebody else will be able to use it. As far as I know nobody owns this or has ever claimed it before. So officially it is my propety now and I wish to sell it. I will send you a official ownership document and it will be yours. This is the real deal. My sale, your planet. This is a worldwide first. Congratulations on your historic purchase. P.S. like I said As far as I know this has never been done. I cannot be held responsible for any results of this auction.

God...I like how our conversation shifted to how we'd be able to conduct a business from another planet...

Really should post the log...

Venomous wrote:Fruits of Doom - Actually, I love this scam. There are so many out there, and all you get for your money is an email with a digital clipart in it, but I've never seen one that didn't have a few bids/buys! This one is a classic moneymaker - it's the buyers that are the idiots, in this case.

Heh

The Smart Person doing this and getting money wrote:You are purchasing a virtual fruit and that is all you will get!

Please choose from Orange, Kiwi, Strawberry, Peach or Grapes!

Subject to availability - if the fruits you chose has been sold out, it will be replaced with another fruit. Not everyone will get the same fruit. Some are sweet, some are sour, some are hard, some are soft, some are ripe, some are juicy, some are dry, some are rotten~!

Streetrodracer wrote:I said it reached 88.00 but not sold for that price. The starting bid was 5 GBP (<$9.00 USD). I just did another quick scan of the listing and this is the price.

What the HELL? I would swear on my father's grave that when I looked at that listing, I saw it at one bid, for GBP 5.00, Reserve not met, Approximately US $8.81... I triple checked before posting, 'cause I hate looking like an idiot... but how could that be, if it was already at GBP 50.00 when you posted the link here?? That is some WEIRD shit.

Streetrodracer wrote:Also, I even thought about reporting the sale of planet pluto to ebay. How the hell can you sell something that you dont offically own??

Short answer - you can't. It's massively against eBay policy, and also possibly against the law. We've all seen it now, somebody should report it. I love ruining other people's fun if I find it stupid.

MP81 wrote:God...I like how our conversation shifted to how we'd be able to conduct a business from another planet...
Really should post the log...

Jailbait, what the FUCK are you talking about, and why are you spamming my board with posts that are 90% quotes and 10% original nonsense that don't make any sense?! Explain yourself, boy! =P