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Life is a highway. It's full of twists and turns, difficult roads, ups and downs.
Looking back, you can see where you were. Those couple of years you sported that weird hairstyle, the friends and enemies that came, and those that left. All the choices you made, good and bad.
"But- what IF?"
That haunting question that everybody asks themselves at some point. What if you did get that job? What if you had plucked up the courage to ask him/her out? What if you hadn't done that stupid thing? What if?

The question at hand, what are some of your "Ifs"? That is, what are some "what if" questions you've continually asked yourself throughout the years?
Are there any?
What is your opinion about thinking about the past?

Feel free to answer any unspoken questions, so long as they are akin to the topic.

This kinda thing can just drive you crazy, man. I used to dwell on past decisions and wonder if I would be happier or better off if I had made a different choice, or wonder where my life might be if I had gone here or done this or said that, etc. To the point where I would wonder about stupidly small things, like, "if I hadn't called in sick to work this day, maybe I would've met someone who had changed my life," or "if I had gone out with my friends last night, who would I have met?" etc.

Eventually I just let go and decided to try and accept the course my life takes. Lead it as much as possible in the direction I want to go, but from there just let the wind take me where it may.

__________________

into this wild abyss
the womb of nature
and perhaps her grave
of neither sea nor shore nor air nor fire
but all these in their pregnant causes mixed confusedly
and which thus must ever fight
unless the almighty maker them ordain his dark materials to create more worlds
into this wild abyss the wary fiend stood on the brink of hell
and looked a while
pondering his voyage

Oh dear you have no clue how much these things keep me up at night. I always wonder what my life would look like if I did not hesitate on some huge decisions, and how different I would be now because of it. They always branch into several other 'what-ifs' and it really hurts my head thinking about it.

What if my parents never got divorced?
What if I dated that fat chick who used to stalked me in the 9th grade who ended up being freakin' hot as hell by our senior year?
What if I didn't let my grades slip and start hanging out with 'a bad crowd' and barely passing high school with exactly enough credits?
What if I let my fear get in the way of joining the military?
What if I waited on enlisting so that I could've gotten that combat engineer job I wanted?
What if I went to college first and became an officer later?
What if I didn't turn down that offer for H8 training?

Too many of things can drive you crazy. No point in dwelling on the past, it only slows down your future. I love how my life turned out despite all those things.

For sure, man. I think that's the key to it all right there. It helps to remember that you wouldn't be the person you are today if your life hadn't happened exactly as it had, and who's to say it would have been better? That fat chick who turned out being super hot may have also turned into a psycho raging rattata who cut off your... arm, or something, haha.

But yeah. Life is always in a state of flux. Choices in the past are done and gone, just do your best to make the right choices for you for right now and be at peace with it. 8)

__________________

into this wild abyss
the womb of nature
and perhaps her grave
of neither sea nor shore nor air nor fire
but all these in their pregnant causes mixed confusedly
and which thus must ever fight
unless the almighty maker them ordain his dark materials to create more worlds
into this wild abyss the wary fiend stood on the brink of hell
and looked a while
pondering his voyage

For sure, man. I think that's the key to it all right there. It helps to remember that you wouldn't be the person you are today if your life hadn't happened exactly as it had, and who's to say it would have been better? That fat chick who turned out being super hot may have also turned into a psycho raging ***** who cut off your... arm, or something, haha.

But yeah. Life is always in a state of flux. Choices in the past are done and gone, just do your best to make the right choices for you for right now and be at peace with it. 8)

Couldn't have said it better myself. Haha, funny story about that. I've actually heard that that girl is stuck in the Highland House now for apparently going insane and trying to stab her boyfriend. That's just a rumor I've heard though.

I've made some stupid decisions, so of course I've wondered about how things would be if I hadn't. The last handful of years would have been so much different- easier, but less interesting! And some good did come of it, I guess.

There aren't many other things that I wonder about, honestly. Considering I like the way my life is, there isn't much that I'd want to change.

I'm especially curious about what would've happened if I didn't move to the US from Europe. I'd have different friends which in turn would likely mean I'd end up with different interests, would have gone down a totally different career path, would have never met my boyfriend.. and I'd definitely have never joined this place. I usually don't think much about these things but that one choice in particular changed absolutely everything.

The only regret I have in life is having regrets. But the regrets I have can be fixed. And I aim to do so, even though it may not happen immediately. I'm 20. My biological clock isn't ticking and I've got the time and the drive.

What if I managed to keep my girlfriend instead of screwing up one night due to bad planning?
Would that mean that I wouldn't have come back here and EGC?
Would that mean I would have started my band sooner?
What if I had the courage to talk to the record exec I met 2 years ago?
Where would I be now if I got his contact details?

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