Confessions of a food whore and reluctant fan of Antonio Banderas. I realize that's sickening. This blog does not seek to educate, only to destroy. I mean only to educate people about Uranus.

May 12, 2006

24: Hours Twenty and Twenty-One

24: Hours Twenty and Twenty-One

The customer service department has informed me that we've received some complaints from people who feel I've been remiss in not putting up 24 recaps. Not hate mail, just unhappy mail. Hate mail is some of the e-mails I've gotten in the past which say things like "You fucking stupid redneck fucking asshole, no woman would ever be with you." Can't say I was too upset by his prediction.

So here my friends, is proof that the squeaky wheel gets the oil:

1. When Jack left his green man bag in the cargo of the plane, we just knew that somehow he'd be wearing it again as he exited. That bag apparently contains a secret portal to a magical world of neverending grenades, Sig Sauers, H&Ks, flashbangs, rocket launchers and surface-to-air missiles. Adam from Scenic Anemia also thinks Jack carries around the heads of the people who have crossed him.

2. Watching Jack take on the air marshal was like watching Mike Tyson take candy from Dakota Fanning. Except Dakota might have had a shot.

3. The plane thing was both exciting and a bit dumb. Yet I cheered when Jack told the guy to cuff himself to the wheel then said "Either you land this plane or I will." How wrong was it though when that one guy tried to "storm" Jack. Hey other passengers, way to back up your fellow hostage. There was only one of Jack. I mean he could have taken them all easily, but they didn't know that.

4. It's funny how when people don't want let CTU through, they just yell and it works. Like when Curtis yelled at the Marine to let him through. The Marines are supposed to be searching and detaining someone, but yelling at them makes them forget that. Then again, I actually employ this tactic every so often and it does work.

5. My train of thought in the last 5 minutes or so went like this: "President Logan is going to off himself. Finally. No, he's going to off his wife. Finally. He's going to off himself and his wife. Yes! No, he's just going to off himself. Okay, I'll take it. Wait, no... no... dammit that fucking weasel at Homeland Security!" I hate the Homeland Security Weasel. You know how action movies always have one bad guy that gets sucked in by the jet's turbine engine? They need to get back on a plane so they can have a scene like that for this guy.

6. The thing with 24 is that there are so many twists and changes that you have to really stay on top of things. It took me a few moments to figure out who the heck the guy in the holding cell was. By the way, it's great that there's more security and attention to detail at Walmart, than there is when CTU is transfering a terrorist.

7. I don't mind my imagination being stretched by this show, especially when it's to believe that Secretary Heller could have survived his car speeding off a cliff and plunging like 80 yards into the water.

8. I felt almost guilty but I had a moment of Jack dislike. Right during the "Here Chloe, please take the most important piece of evidence in our nation's recent history and go do something with it by yourself, in an unlocked and unguarded room, while I go check on my girlfriend and rub her knee a little." The Jack I know and love would wait until the Attorney General has actually heard the tape, before he went off to chill in sickbay.

Alright, what did I miss?

To get back in your good graces, I submitted a fact to the Jack Bauer Facts page just now. "Jack Bauer has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Trust me, you want to hold it." Hee.