Have you ever had a work experience that was funny, bizarre, or just plain awful? Share your experience so we can all laugh at those who frustrated you. Email us your stories at daligrind@att.net and we'll post the choicest ones. We don't publish real names of you, your coworkers or your employer.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

STORY: Calvin the Stubborn Manager

The company's development manager, Calvin, was a stubborn beast at the best of
times. He generally refused to cave in over any issue, except maybe after a
painful two-hour dispute full of circular logic and the exhaustion of every
possible avenue of argument. His stated theory behind this strange behaviour was
that if the victim was still prepared to argue their point after two hours of
torture, then he or she must feel strongly about their convictions, therefore is
probably right.

How unproductively the afternoons were whiled away...

Calvin's favourite tactic was to use analogies to augment his
argumentative stance, deliberately throwing his opponent off-track. This was a
guaranteed argument-winner - because after all, who cares about the welfare of
the company or the project - Calvin mostly wanted to save his ego by proving
himself "right", by fair means or foul.

For example:

Programmer:
"We cannot do this in 2 weeks, it needs at least four times
as long." Calvin: "Let's compare it with an Eskimo tribe taking fishing trips
in a
skidoo, darting around ice floes..." Programmer: "What??" Calvin: "The ice floes drift, this way and that, throwing the skidoo
many miles off course. But it always gets there, and they catch their fish.
The
Eskimos are determined. The Eskimos want their fish. Are you saying the
Eskimos
should have simply given up and let their families go hungry?" Programmer: "Well, I mean no, but..." Calvin: "I thought so. 2
weeks it is then. You see? I rule
supreme."

Two weeks later, the angry
Calvin would demand to know why the project wasn't finished, as he had "promised
the sales team".