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30 October, 2013

Politically correct nonsense

In many schools, Halloween has been replaced by Black and Orange Day (which stinks like its abbreviation: BO). It might be well intentioned but I believe it's severely misguided. We've gone so far with our political correctness that we don't know when to quit. I've even heard of Valentine's Day being changed to 'Red and Pink Day' in one school.

More than 75 percent of the babies born in Detroit are born to unmarried women, yet it is considered to be “politically incorrect” to suggest that there is anything wrong with that.

One group wanted people to stop saying Brain Storm because it might offend people with epilepsy. They wanted people to say "thought showers" instead.

In 2007, Santa Clauses in Sydney, Australia, were forced to revolt for the right to say “Ho Ho Ho”, the traditional laugh of jolly old St. Nick. It turns out that their employer, the recruitment firm Westaff (that supplies hundreds of Santas across Australia), told all trainees that “ho ho ho” could frighten children and be derogatory to women. Why? Because it was too close to the American (not Australian, mind you) slang for prostitute. Instead, the Santas were instructed to lower their voices and say “Ha ha ha”. Westaff relented only after the story broke nationally, deciding to leave the belly laughs “up to the discretion of Santa himself

In 2003, Dennis Tafoya, director of the LA County affirmative action office, issued a memo describing an “exhaustive search” for any computer equipment labeled “master” and “slave”. He also stated that all offending labels should be replaced with more appropriate terminology. Purchasing officials subsequently requested that all suppliers cease using labels deemed “unacceptable and offensive”—the first step of a creeping labeling ban. The county began their investigation after ONE worker saw a videotape machine bearing the labels and filed a discrimination complaint with the Office of Affirmative Action Compliance. However, “master” and “slave” are common terms for primary and secondary hard drives in the computer industry, and have been used without complaint for decades. Due to overwhelming negative publicity and a near revolt from suppliers, LA County’s Division Manager of Purchasing and Contract Services promised there would be no ban on computer equipment based on current labeling practices.

All over the country, the term “manhole” is being replaced with the terms “utility hole” or “maintenance hole”.

In San Francisco, authorities have installed small plastic “privacy screens” on library computers so that perverts can continue to exercise their “right” to watch pornography at the library without children being exposed to it.

Blackboards that are now chalkboards, yet whiteboards seems to be ok.

PETA approached the mayor of Fishkill, New York, with a demand that the town be renamed "Fishsave". They were unaware that the suffix 'kill' means stream in Dutch.

The European Parliament introduced proposals to outlaw titles stating marital status such as 'Miss' and 'Mrs' so as not to cause offence. It also meant that 'Madame' and 'Mademoiselle', 'Frau' and 'Fraulein' and 'Senora' and 'Senorita' would be banned.

Spotted Dick - a classic English dessert has been renamed to avoid embarrassment. The traditional pud Spotted Dick has been given the title Spotted Richard, after UK council bosses feared the original name might cause offence.

A school in Seattle renamed its Easter eggs 'spring spheres' to avoid causing offence to people who did not celebrate Easter.

A UK recruiter was stunned when her job advert for 'reliable' and 'hard-working' applicants was rejected by the job centre as it could be offensive to unreliable and lazy people.

The evolution of the term "Shell Shock" to what it's now usually called, "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder".

There was one school in Utah that was forced to change its name from the Cougars to avoid offending middle aged women (for whom "cougar" is a term). Unfair and ridiculous, since the zoological definition precedes the offensive sense of the word by centuries.

Army personnel no longer "Kill the Enemy" they "Service the Target"!!??

Those of you that live in areas that have "Homeless People" actually they are "Residentially Flexible Individuals"

In 2006, a regional manager for The Baker's Oven, a chain bakery in England, decided it was time to modernize some of their baked goods. This wasn't the 50's anymore, by golly, and saying "Gingerbread Man" was exclusive and misogynistic. All the store employees were instructed to start calling the cookies "Gingerbread Persons". Not only that, but the manager insisted that they actually correct the customers if they dared asked for a gingerbread man.

Dragons are apparently too dangerous for children to look at. Cooking stoves and ladders are out, too. The publishers for Lindsey Gardner, a popular children's author, asked her to drop illustrations of a dragon toasting marshmallows, a lit stove, and a boy on a ladder. The company cited fears of being sued under health and safety regulations, should one extremely stupid child mimic the actions shown in the book and injure itself.

24 October, 2013

get a room
Expression used to make fun of couples who are overly (and inapropriately) affectionate in public, and hopefully get them to stop.
Sometimes used to poke fun at friends who aren't together but always argue and tease each other in front of their other friends, by implying they act just like a couple.Look at Jim and Mary makeing out in public again. Get a room already!
After listening to David and Sandy banter back and forth for 30 minutes. Oh get a room you two!

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Dr. Johnny Ancich: not a physician; not a scientist. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden humor that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of humor radiation alters his body chemistry. And now when Johnny Ancich grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by cartoons and pursued by sexy women. [Ancich:] "Miss, don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry." The creature is wanted for an unfunny cartoon he didn't commit. Johnny Ancich is believed to be dead, and he
must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the restless spirit that dwells within him. Dah! Dah! Dahhhhhhh Dahhhhhhh....