In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.
In school he never led his classes,
He hid old ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked NO ADMITTANCE.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.
Another trick that tickled Jabez
Was crying 'Boo' at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in town,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Yet people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
'There isn't any Santa Claus!'
Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.
Like whooping cough, from child to child,
He sped to spread the rumor wild:
'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes
There isn't any Santa Claus!'
Slunk like a weasel of a marten
Through nursery and kindergarten,
Whispering low to every tot,
'There isn't any, no there's not!'
The children wept all Christmas eve
And Jabez chortled up his sleeve.
No infant dared hang up his stocking
For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking.
He sprawled on his untidy bed,
Fresh malice dancing in his head,
When presently with scalp-a-tingling,
Jabez heard a distant jingling;
He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof
Crisply alighting on the roof.
What good to rise and bar the door?
A shower of soot was on the floor.
What was beheld by Jabez Dawes?
The fireplace full of Santa Claus!
Then Jabez fell upon his knees
With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.'
He howled, 'I don't know where you read it,
But anyhow, I never said it!'
'Jabez' replied the angry saint,
'It isn't I, it's you that ain't.
Although there is a Santa Claus,
There isn't any Jabez Dawes!'
Said Jabez then with impudent vim,
'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!
Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'
And suddenly he found he wasn't!
From grimy feet to grimy locks,
Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,
And ugly toy with springs unsprung,
Forever sticking out his tongue.
The neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
They searched for him, but not with zeal.
No trace was found of Jabez Dawes,
Which led to thunderous applause,
And people drank a loving cup
And went and hung their stockings up.
All you who sneer at Santa Claus,
Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes,
The saucy boy who mocked the saint.
Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint.

It's a bit too early for Christmas [not any more it isn't! -- ed.], but
I had to send this one in -- it is one of Nash's real gems. I'll not say
much about it -- a light, witty ditty, showing Ogden Nash's typical
flair for nonsense verse. I'll let your readers chuckle over its silly
simplicity, without my analyzing or philosophizing over it.
Firdaus.

--- In , "Thomas, Abraham" <thomas@...> wrote:>> Guest poem submitted by Firdaus Janoos <firdaus.janoos@...>:>> "The Boy Who Laughed at Santa Claus">> Said Jabez then with impudent vim,> 'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!> Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'> And suddenly he found he wasn't!> From grimy feet to grimy locks,> Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,> And ugly toy with springs unsprung,> Forever sticking out his tongue.

Does this stanza remind anybody else of that one episode of theTwilight Zone where Anthony makes everyone think happy thoughts allthe time, and turns one guy into a jack-in-the-box, and then "wisheshim into the cornfield?"

Right up until we reached this point, I was amused by this poem.After, it creeped me out.

Every stanza in this poem reminds my old times for it's simplicity of its language and each in its phrases is very straightforward in their construction, yet I have to admit that this gives a remarkable lessons.

Centro Metro This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want...HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

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This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want...HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

Endless, non-specific ass-kissing that could be posted anywhere -- that's the clue.

I really enjoyed what you had to say. Keep going because you definitely bring a new voice to this subject. Not many people would say what you've said and still make it interesting. Well, at least I am interested. Cant wait to see more of this from you.

All that I love I fold over once And once again And keep in a box Or a slit in a hollow post Or in my shoe. All that I love? Why, yes, but for the moment -- And for all time, both. Something that folds and keeps easy, Son's note or Dad's one gaudy tie, A roto picture of a queen, A blue Indian shawl, even A money bill.

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Jeff, yes it does, except in the Twilight Zone episode, people are appalled about what happened to the guy who turned into Jack-in-the-Box, whereas in this poem, no one cares when Jabes goes missing. I do not know if they are happy he died, or if they just thought he ran away, but nonetheless, I strongly dislike how the poem ended.

Yes, it is a good poem, but until the end, because the moral (to me anyway) is: be a brat, your parents will commit suicide in disgrace of your bad behavior, Santa Claus will punish you, and no one will sympathize when you die, even if you are merely a child. Yeah, great moral, Ogden.

Also, just saw the Twilight Zone episode, and it is interesting to see that it is reversed: Santa Claus turning a kid into a Jack-in-the-Box, a kid turning an adult into a Jack-in-the-Box, but this poem came out not more than just four years before the episode, so it is possible it did influence it.

Penis Advantage HQ, I know what you mean. It is a good poem, I will admit, but quite sad and a little unnerving (parents leaving child forever, Santa Claus punishing child, neighbors celebrating a "death") to follow. It would be better if it was not so messed up, but it is a good poem nonetheless, not a favorite, but one I do mind reading every now and then. I especially do like the Jack in the Box punishment though, though it is sort of creepy, but in a way, all of it is. Good moral, maybe, but best moral, no, more for adults than kids.

I do not know if any of you read this, but there is an alternative version available to view on-line. It is pretty much the same, but some sentences differ. In that version, we find out that Santa Claus gives Jabez (in his toy form) to a child, I don't know about you, but for me, that makes it even creepier. I do like this poem, but I dislike it at the same time, but it does have a good message, be nice to others, and let children believe in Santa Claus if they want to, but that is pretty much it. I am still appalled by the behavior of the neighbors, and saddened by the choice his parents made, but otherwise, I like it.

Nice lines, I can feel them deeply. Here is poem I love very much...Around the corner I have a friend,In this great city that has no end,Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,For life is a swift and terrible race,He knows I like him just as well,As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,And now we are busy, tired men.Tired of playing a foolish game,Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on JimJust to show that I'm thinking of him",But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."And that's what we get and deserve in the end.Around the corner, a vanished friend.

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