Fellaini v Pogba and the problem of playing a club-mate for your country | Marcel Desailly

Continuing our efforts to wrench this vehicle back in the direction of The Planet’s Biggest Football Tournament, a word on France v Belgium – the tastiest game of the World Cup thus far, and a mere hour and a half from kick-off.

This World Cup has most certainly delivered scorchingly on the entertainment front so far, and Russia 2018 could yet go down as an all-time classic: it’s been high on quality, goals, shocks and drama. Yet there’s one vital requirement that remains tantalisingly unfulfilled: a classic knockout game between two bona fide heavyweights.

France-Argentina was marvellous fun, but truly it was too low on quality to be bracketed alongside the likes of West Germany v France in 1982, France v Brazil in 1986 or Germany v Italy in 2006.

Tonight could deliver such a game; on paper there is no reason it won’t. It features two teams who should be bristling with the entitlement of the elite. It features one manager with a knack for making any game a thrilling one. And, across the board on both sides, it surely features the highest calibre of talent of any game this summer.

Away from the gravitational attention-field that is C-Ron, the Guardian’s man in Scotland, Ewan Murray, has taken his nation’s pulse in the wake of the euphoria south of the border – and indeed the newfound popularity of co-comms conquerer Ally McCoist among the English – and weaved it all into this fine piece.

Those of you who imagine the pubs of Glasgow to be full of well-wishing honorary Englishfolk, look away now:

Scotland is split on England at the World Cup – incensed or indifferent | Ewan Murray

Ballon d'Or: Ronaldo rewarded for making miraculous mundane

“Real Madrid wants to express its gratitude to a player who has proved to be the best in the world and who has marked one of the brightest times in the history of our club and world football,” the club has said in a statement.

“Beyond the conquered titles, the trophies achieved and the triumphs achieved in the playing fields during these nine years, Cristiano Ronaldo has been an example of dedication, work, responsibility, talent and improvement.”

Ronaldo’s Real Madrid career in numbers:

A handy 451 goals in 438 games

Four Ballon d’Or titles

Four Champions League

Six managers

€6m in profit for Real Madrid

Infinite tedious squabbles about whether he is better than Mess-zzzzz…

Quite the story there, and one than nearly-but-not-quite (?) threatens to steal the thunder from Eden Hazard, Kylian Mbappé and co tonight.

Speaking of which – Ronaldo’s exit will leave a gaping galactico-sized hole in
Florentino Pérez’s
Real Madrid’s attack. And it’s fair to say Real Madrid are not averse to impulsively splashing out on the standout attacker of a World Cup summer.

Cristiano Ronaldo is joining Juventus

Oh lordy. A story of some significance here: Cristiano Ronaldo has handed in his notice at Real Madrid and will be Taking His Talents To Turin. Lucky Juventus – although they won’t be getting him for free, of course, but rather for €100m. Crikey.

Arsenal complete £26.5m signing of Uruguay midfielder Lucas Torreira

Jordan Pickford is unlikely to be riddled with much self-doubt in the wake of his glorious man-of-the-match display to help get England past the quarter-finals on Saturday.

Should he need a confidence boost, though, he’ll be delighted to learn that the 5ft 7in former Mexico keeper has offered a word of support to the England man, who it has been established in recent weeks, is perhaps not the tallest.

“How many goalies are out of the World Cup? A lot. But [Pickford] is still here,” says Campos. “So I don’t care if he’s tall or not. I knew I wasn’t tall or strong so I had to be smart.”

The good news keeps on coming for Pickford, whose not being a little bit taller has proved no barrier to his being a baller. Shame he’ll never get a chance to sport the jerseys of Campos’ era, though.

The Thai football team rescued from an underwater cave have been invited to watch a game as guests Old Trafford next season.

Manchester United said on Twitter: “MUFC is relieved to learn that the 12 footballers and their coach trapped in a cave in Thailand are now safe. Our thoughts and prayers are with those affected. We would love to welcome the team from their rescuers to Old Trafford this coming season.”

A lovely gesture indeed, although the boys may want to consider it carefully: it’s a 12-hour flight and only six Premier League grounds saw fewer goals last season.

The ladies and gentlemen of our parliament have no shortage of pressing matters to discuss at the moment. One such topic is whether or not future World Cups should be on free-to-air telly.

Our roving reporter Martha Kelner reports that: “If the home nations submit a bid to host the 2030 World Cup, the government must amend its laws protecting the tournament’s TV rights from being sold to the highest bidder, parliament will be told on Wednesday.”

Where exactly on the parliamentary agenda that item will sit, we’re not sure. Either way, here’s our full report:

Parliament to discuss keeping future World Cups on free-to-air TV

It’s worth pointing out that by having their photos taken with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Mezut Özil and Ilkay Gündogan infuriated liberals as much as the right-wingers mentioned in your blog.

Liberal Germans – and liberal Turkish-Germans – are very upset that Özil and Gündogan appeared to be giving their backing, just before a crucial presidential election, to a divisive leader whose politics they disagree with. Gündogan has since said he did so out of “politeness”. Özil has refused to comment. Not good enough.

Self-acceptance, a loving family, staying the hell away from social media. Happiness, reader, comes in many forms – and for Gareth Southgate’s England it seems to have taken the form of an inflatable purple unicorn.

Those unicorns, and the water-races they enable, have only been one part of a multi-faceted psychological makeover this squad has been given, the project led by the esteemed Dr Pippa Grange. She was appointed by the FA as its head of people and team development in November last year, given the job of building resilience while confronting the pressures and psychodramas faced by previous England squads.

Certainly the evidence so far is that she’s doing sterling work (pun intended) and our feature writer Emine Saner has taken a deep dive (pun intended) into the psychology behind The Great Southgate Revamp:

How the psychology of the England football team could change your life

Where’s that tiger? Here’s that tiger! Bartek, a five-year-old Amur tiger at Royev Ruchey Zoo in Krasnoyarsk, has selected Croatia in one of those prediction things animals do at World Cups these days. So bang goes that dream, then. Ah well. Paul the Octopus has a lot to answer for.

“Yes We Kanté!” There are high hopes for Les Bleus in France. Not least in the court of Emmanuel Macron, president and diehard Marseille fan. Angelique Chrisafis, chief of our Paris bureau, explains the political implications of tonight’s big game with Belgium.

Political football: Macron banking on France's World Cup success

So what’s going to happen tonight? And tomorrow? Will favourites France prevail over Belgium? Will the Red Devils reach their first World Cup final? Will Croatia? Or will England’s fresher legs tell? Martin Laurence of WhoScored has the answers!

Previews and predictions for the World Cup semi-finals

The football section of this site doesn’t benefit from the poetic pen of Andy Bull too often. But here he is today! Because, as our senior sports writer explains: “It’s a strange business, right now, writing about any other sport, like working in a bookshop that refuses to stock the bestseller everyone’s reading, or a butchers that only serves imitation meat.” World Cups haven’t always been this irresistible, mind, a point he pursues in this typically wonderful piece.

England have made us all football consumers – so best just give in to it | Andy Bull

A mural in St Petersburg depicting Stanislav Cherchesov was damaged in the wake of Russia’s quarter-final defeat to Croatia. A pretty harsh response, given his team’s unexpected heroics. But for every dull-witted vandal, there are thousands of good hearts beating true and strong. And a couple of them - street artists Artyom Burzh and Ilya Is - have today retouched the painting in honour of their head coach. Has anyone in Blighty started one of Gareth yet?

Anyone remember
Spangles
Germany?Die Mannschaft are still the reigning world champions, for another five days anyway. But it seems an age since they were bundled out of this tournament. Ever since, the search for a scapegoat has been on. And it would seem Mesut Ozil is copping for most of the flak. He and team-mate Ilkay Gundogan posed for photos with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan back in May, a move which annoyed the DFB. Gundogan later made a statement in order to placate those irritated, but Ozil has not, and now DFB president Reinhard Grindel has told Kicker magazine that fans are owed an “answer”:

It’s true that Mesut has not commented yet. That has disappointed a lot of fans because they have questions and expect an answer. They are right to expect this answer. That’s why it’s totally clear for me that Mesut should speak on the issue. We have to wait for the sporting analysis and see whether Joachim Loew still counts on him.

The sagacity of this flame-fanning statement is moot, given the number of right-wing politicians, columnists and comedians sticking the boot into Ozil right now. His father Mustafa, noting that nobody from the DFB has condemned any of the abuse, said: “Unfortunately there are still people in the German population who have reservations and prejudices against us of Turkish descent. In Mesut’s place I’d resign from the Germany team. But that’s just my personal opinion.”

Anyway, whatever happens, Uefa are celebrating. Their president Aleksander Ceferin says that “even though some of our traditional contenders such as Germany, Spain and Portugal were eliminated, there are other teams which have surpassed expectations and can now win the title ... these results validate all the work that is being done across the continent to develop football, and they also showcase the strength and quality that exists across the whole Uefa region.”

Perhaps it's time for a tip of the hat | World Cup Fiver

... and now some proper news. It would seem Croatia defender Domagoj Vida is doing his level best to ensure that any Russian fans in the Luzhniki Stadium tomorrow night will be supporting England. Here’s Shaun Walker, our Central and Eastern Europe Correspondent, with the story.

Croatian defender Domagoj Vida continues to court controversy, after a second video emerged of him chanting pro-Ukrainian slogans. Fifa investigated the first video, recorded after the quarter final win against Russia, in which Vida shouted “Glory to Ukraine” and former international Ognjen Vukojevic said “This victory is for Dynamo (Kiev) and for Ukraine”.

Both players used to play for Dinamo Kiev. Tensions between Russia and Ukraine remain high since the annexation of Crimea and Russia-backed war in eastern Ukraine.

The phrase “Glory to Ukraine” is a nationalist greeting that has become widespread in Ukraine since the Maidan revolution of 2014.

Croatia’s football federation sent Vukojevic home as a result of the incident and apologised for the statements, which they said “were in no way intended to have political connotations, yet which unfortunately left room for such interpretations”. Fifa gave Vida a warning.

Overnight, a new video surfaced in which Vida, appearing to swig from a bottle of beer, again shouts “Glory to Ukraine” and also “Belgrade is burning”! The video sent social media into overdrive, but appears to have been made a long time prior to the World Cup, and possibly to refer to a bar in Kiev called Belgrade, where Vida was a regular during his time at Dinamo.

Thanks to Alex. And I’m back just in time for some big BREAKING NEWS: “Around a dozen” England fans travelling to Moscow have been spotted in dark-blue waistcoats. Yes the rolling blog has come to this. The fans were clocked brazenly boarding planes at Heathrow wearing their clothes, and news organisations were duly informed. A spokesperson for Marks & Spencer confirmed the garments might have been purchased at one of the company’s stores, possibly, sort of: “Gareth Southgate’s sideline style has meant our waistcoats are really scoring with our customers, with sales doubling since the World Cup began.” More on this developing story when we have it.

And before I hand back over to Scott, a thought: perhaps the one story running through all four of these semi-finalists is the rehabilitation of the “meh” manager.

Until this summer, Roberto Martínez was the wide-eyed gung-ho merchant who took Wigan down and couldn’t get Belgium to add up to the sum of their parts, Didier Deschamps was sneered at for making Europe’s most thrilling squad into a team of safety-first chuggers, Zlatko Dalic’s biggest achievement outside Saudi Arabia and the UAE was winning the Albanian Supercup a decade ago, and Gareth Southgate was stranded in age-group limbo at St George’s Park having underwhelmed emphatically at Middlesbrough.

Today, Belgium are in the semis thanks to Martínez’s tactical masterstoke against Japan and his crafty outmanoeuvring of Brazil. Deschamps has finally forged a system that lets Paul Pogba shine without halting his electric attackers. Dalic has Croatia partying like it’s 1998, and Southgate has solved three decades of England’s deep-seated tactical, technical and psychological deficiencies with a mere swish of his wand.

Bravo all round, chaps.

Except, of course, there’s still time for them to make tactical chumps of themselves on the very grandest stage there is. We await in earnest. Ta-ra – and back to Mr Murray

In no one’s getting carried away news, I solemnly report that – deep breath – Gareth Southgate’s waistcoat is being sought by the Museum of London for its permanent collection.

“Waistcoats were born in London in 1666, promoted by King Charles II,” enthuses the museum’s very own Indiana Jones, curator Beatrice Behlen. “The new fashion soon spread and for at least 300 years a three-piece suit soon formed a key part of every man’s wardrobe.

“Now Watford-born Gareth Southgate is reviving that London tradition and bringing waistcoats home to the forefront of fashion.”

Casey Stoney: ‘There’s no bigger club to work for than Manchester United’

Tomorrow’s Big One will reunite Dejan Loren with his old foe from last season, one Harry Kane. You might remember that match-up didn’t go too well for the Croat back in October of last year – he was hauled off after half an hour having given a masterful demonstration of “the art of un-defending”, as our own Barney Ronay put it.

Kane – the Golden Boot glowing alluringly in his sights – will fancy his chances, then. Except Lovren’s quietly splendid return to form since then may mean things aren’t quite as simple as that.

Quiz: how well do you know the 2018 World Cup semi-finalists?

While we’re talking stats, here’s a few regarding the physical prowess of Gareth’s Boys. Our man Sean Ingle has crunched the numbers, and the man who was England’s fitness coach at Italia 90 reckons the signs are promising. And it’s not all cold, hard data – there’s wistfully boozy tales of Lineker and Waddle in there too:

England players’ fitness peaking at the right time, says sports scientist

Faintly astonishing, that, and I’m sure you’ll agree it represents a significant blemish on what is supposedly the World Cup of “shithousery”.

Time for the players to up their game. Although tonight’s tie, mouthwatering as it certainly is, is more so for its attacking talents that any potential nark. That said, as long as Marouane Fellaini’s Elbows remain in this tournament, there is hope – and of course, World Cup semi-finals involving Croatia have a strong history of contentious sendings off for violent play.