MIL lets herself into home to wash undies

By Jo Abi| 9 months ago

'It's so suffocating'

There's no more complicated relationship than that of a woman and her mother-in-law and it's being played out once again on popular parenting forum Mumsnet, with a woman writing about her MIL's strangely intrusive habits.

Which include letting herself into the home to wash the couple's undies.

"I rarely talk badly of anyone, so it has really upset me that I have these feelings about my MIL and has made me feel like such a bad person. But the feelings are there and real so I need to express them," forum user MaisieAva wrote.

"So my MIL really stresses me out. What makes matters worse is we live next door to her.

She said from the moment they first moved into their home, her MIL would walk in unannounced and flippantly say, 'Only me again'.

"Sometimes if I was on my own it would make me jump and put me on edge.

Image: Mumsnet

MaisieAva said her MIL offered to clean and tidy the house for money which she initially agreed to however has since put a stop to.

"She would do our washing even when she was asked not to. She changed our bed. She put my underwear away in my drawers. She’d walk in when we were winding down in the evening with a pile of our washing all ironed.

Image: Mumsnet

"I mean to some it probably sounds a dream, but it just doesn’t feel right or sit well with me.

The MIL would also rearrange ornaments around the home which MaisieAva found to be 'disrespectful'.

"Now she’s not cleaning the house anymore it’s obviously a lot better but I feel like she’s using other avenues to get to me.

"We went on holiday recently and I walked in to our house on our return to see my fairy lights that I’ve decided to keep on a plant all year round on the floor as soon as I walk in.

"Apparently they were suffocating the plant and the plant needs trimming. I’m sorry but I’m perfectly capable of attending to that myself. It probably sounds really small and pathetic but it really bothers me.

"I know she’s just trying to help but it’s so suffocating.

"I’ve spoken to my other half about it so it has got a lot better as I think something must’ve been said. But I feel like I’ve made it into an issue now and I’m fearful of her to be honest and feel like I want to avoid her but at the same time scared to avoid her as I don’t want to cause any upset of offend anyone.

"I just can’t win.

"It’s all just literally too close to home for me and it’s consuming my thoughts way too much to the point where I’m feeling pretty unhappy."

MaisieAva then asks the forum for advice.

Image: Mumsnet

Responses were overwhelmingly in favour of the beleguered wife.

"Mine is similar - Always has to be right and project her opinions on every aspect of our lives. DP says she's being 'helpful' and she's 'just interested in what we do'. I see it as controlling, overbearing and nosey," wrote candyloves.

"Get her key back ASAP," said Aprilmightmemynewname.

Marmalizes suggested the couple move asap.

"Move. If you can. I’m serious this is like living in each other’s pockets. IMO it’s not healthy for any of you. Everyone will be miserable if this goes on. She’s probably very nice and thinks she’s helping but she’s not. She obviously doesn’t understand the boundaries. If you tell her how you feel she may take offence. If you move further away that will give you all the space and independence you need to build your own future the way you want it. Hopefully then you can build a appropriate relationship with her."

Do you think this new wife has a right to complain about her MIL? Send an email to jabi@nine.com.au.