TOP CARROT-TOP

Okay, so his hair has tones of blonde and when he was a kid he wanted brown hair like Indiana Jones but FUCK THAT NOISE, we’re claiming Scott McClellan as one of our own and there’s nothing anyone can do about it except sit on it and rotate.

I hereby declare Scott a delicious strawberry sundae and this week’s Top Carrot-Top! Unless you’ve been living in a Bell Island mine, you’ve probably heard about the local film that’s kicking ass all over Atlantic Canada and beyond. It’s called Cast No Shadow (click here for showtimes), and besides the stellar acting (Percy Hynes-White) and storytelling (Joel Thomas Hynes) and directing (Christian Sparkes) and all that juicy jazz, it is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL to look at. Like, even if you stuffed Purity Jam-Jams in your ears and watched it, you’d still be captivated. And the dude responsible for that is the cinematographer — Scott.

In a nutshell, the cinematographer is the one who knows how to use the light to make everything pretty as fuck dans le camera. The light inside a sea cave, for example. Maybe even the light inside the mystical lady cave, who knows. It’s a big job. That’s why there’s an Oscar for cinematography. It’s also sometimes a thankless job, which is why nobody on earth can name a single Oscar-winning cinematographer. Scott is going to take home that naked golden hardware someday and put it up there on the mantle next to his Top Carrot-Top trophy which is less like a trophy and more like these here words you be readin’ on your iPhone on the toilet. But still: Scott McClellan is one firecrotch on fire.

While only 65% redhead, Scott definitely has the streak of mischief that comes with the ginge tinge. When he was in kindergarten, he told every kid in his class to bring their rubber boots to school the next day because they were going on a field trip. Except there was no field trip. The teachers hadn’t planned a thing. But who can disappoint a group of excited children who showed up the next day with their rubber boots and dreams of puddle-jumping and fresh air? Scott and his classmates spent the entire afternoon outside. And THAT, folks, is how you become President of the world.

Scott didn’t have a photo of himself as a kid, unfortunately. Well, he did, but he was so pale in the picture, he’s just not visible. So here he is as a big boy with a widdle tiny tripod.