Friday, December 27, 2013

This may sound a little weird, but... Men often propose to me. Marriage, I mean. Some do it just to be funny, some are serious, but they do it. Do I look like a marrying kind? Is that the first impression men get about me, that I want to get married? And now that I think of it, I go back to my past where everything began...

Yes, I know I said I won't be writing about Robert, but... There are no more hopes and dreams about him to share. This is just a story about fake proposals I've been getting ever since I met him, and he was the one who started them.

The image about moments spent with him is so clear now. I'm at this distant place with no hopes and feelings... Ok, well, maybe just a little bit of feelings. A lot! But nevermind... I am looking at that night from this distant place. I have been through it so many times... It's like I'm playing a silent movie over and over again. A movie where only one sentence can be heard "If I was here, if I lived here, I would marry you!" All this time I was laughing at men who threw their proposals to me and I forgot about Robert's proposal. He was one of those who sound very serious while talking about marriage. He even created a cute little picture of love and harmony in life with his future wife, but of course he never said it would be me. And yet, he dared to say he would marry me.Why did it take me so long to realise that he condemned us to a failure before we even started? In his head we broke up before even going to a first date. Why couldn't I see it before? I was so shocked with "I would marry you" part that I didn't notice THE "If I was here".

Some days ago I asked a friend if men propose to me because I look like a girl whose only goal in life is to get married. He said: "No! They just want to get laid and think the easiest way to do that is to promise you a life together." And you know what the sad part is? He is absolutely right! All the proposals I got so far, funny or serious, had one thing in common - they were fake!