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Topic: Bad Movies (Read 10977 times)

Over the years here I have seen a number of threads regarding things like Favorite music, movies, books, etc. So it got me thinking, and I realized that something was missing here. How about a thread for Bad Movies? Personally, I like bad movies. They make me wonder about the people involved making them: were they serious about this? Were they hoping for an Oscar? Or did they set out to intentionally make a crappy flick? Ed Wood comes to mind as well as Russ Meyer, Roger Corman, and of course, John Waters. So please share your stories about crappy movies here, whether they are movies that are so bad that they are actually good, or complete piles of shit that make you want to sue the movie producer to get that 90 minutes of your life back.

I'll get this rolling with 2 movies I recently saw that were horrifically bad. Tho a few bong hits makes them more tolerable

#1 One Eyed Monster Starring the legendary Ron Jeremy. The basic plot is that aliens take over Ron Jeremy's body, and while filming a scene for a porno, his dick detaches itself from his body (Ron dies), and goes on a kill crazy rampage. The beast is eventually killed by a porno actress who has been practicing her Keegles. Overall a funny movie that has some surprisingly decent acting for a bad movie...

#2 Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Starring none other than eighties heartthrob, Lorenzo Lamas, who looks like a low-rent Steven Segal in this movie. He must owe his coke dealer a ton of money, which is the only logical reason anyone would have to making a movie like this one. There is also an Asian actor who plays a Japanese scientist, but what makes it funny is that he is obviously American, and speaking with a bad Japanese accent The title pretty much says it all. The story is pathetic, and the special effects slightly worse. Mega shark bites a lot of things in addition to the earlier mentioned octopus. He chows down on a navy destoryer, a battleship, and a submarine or two. But the real show stopper is when Mega Shark leaps out of the water to attack a 747 flying overhead. Oh yeah, he bites the Golden Gate Bridge in half as well. Th Giant Octopus racks up a pretty good score too. An oil drilling rig goes down, as well as a few Japanese warship, and and F-15 fighter jet too. The really scary part? The Ending, which was done in such a way as to leave room for a sequel or three. Worth a laugh the first time around, but couldn't sit through a second time to be sure.

The absolute worst film I have ever seen in a theater was Maximum Overdrive. It was Stephen King's first and only attempt to direct a movie and it was just abysmal. The film opens with text describing that the Earth has passed through the tail of a comet and machines have come to life and start killing people. So you have 2 hours of electric steak knives hopping across counter tops, Coke machines that fire soda cans... It isn't even campy enough to be funny, just stupid. All this was set the music of AC/DC at ear splitting volumes. It was set in North Carolina and the characterizations took the film from just awful to offensive. King later said he was coked out of his mind through the production and had no idea what he was doing... It showed.

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Vanilla Sky was good dammit Will. I liked it so much I went back and watched the Spanish language original Abro Los Ojos, also starring miss Penelope Cruz.

Abre Los Ojos is just wonderful (but so is any Spanish movie with my girl Penťlope --her English language films, with a few exceptions, tend to be crapulous)

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

The absolute worst film I have ever seen in a theater was Maximum Overdrive.

how can you be hatin' a movie/show with Yeardly Smith (aka Lisa Simpson) in it? even if she was much better in "Herman's Head" than as the screaming bride in this movie At least this movie played closer to King's writings than other adaptations (ie the Shining or Cujo - which would have been much better if the kid had died)

Gee there are so many subsets of bad movies. That Ron Jeremy movie sounds like a clever trashy cheese fest - so that's good.

I agree if the movie is really bad bad, you forget them. And sometimes you get pissed off if you paid for them.

I have a folder on my hard drive of bad marginal gay flicks. They are so bad I can't watch 'em.

Lying dishonest manipulative documentaries are horrible.

Oh, we tried to watch Barbarella the other day, what a bad movie. Its the kind of movie that everyone knows the fabulous idea and images, but trying to sit through it, without drugs, is torture. Lots of cult movies are just torture having dated badly. Liquid Sky anyone? Desperately Seeking Susan?

Speaking of - Madonna's Swept Away is dreadful. I love the original, and I thought it was hot to see Giannini's son repeat his father's role. But Madonna is almost always heavy and a film killer. I walked out of Evita and walked into the next theatre in the cineplex and it was Bridget Fonda in "Touch", which was interesting. Evita is SO BAD you can't watch it. Its bad bad.

Famous dreary European art classics - I can never sit through Last Year at Marienbad for example, though you want to love it, like Barbarella, for its fabulous look.

When I was an artsy fartsy in my teens, before anything was on video, you had to go out of your way to see cult and trash and arty movies. Now we can see everything, have seen a lot, and its easy to judge that a lot of stuff we thought was so cool is just crap.

There are experimental and underground film festivals in Switzerland, sometimes I am on the jury, so I try to keep my jadedness in check. You got to encourage young talent! But I feel like I've seen it all, in the 70's and 80's, even the gay film explosion in the 90's, so even if its something new now, it's too often tired, derivative, and anything too long, preachy, or without a narrative, it just exhausts me.

But the old stuff is exhausting too. Try sitting through feature length Kenneth Anger, such as Lucifer Rising. So glamorous in a smoky art cinema in the early 80's, just a slog now, though definitely "important". Only the short films are gems.

Last night I watched Drag Me To Hell and it was beyond bad, stupid, and horribly cliche. Totally barfalicious. I don't know how this could have been named the "best horror flick of 2009."

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Can't Stop The Music - w/ The Village PeopleAlthough, when I saw it at the theater in 1980 I thought it was fab - of course, I was a closeted 14 year old, living in rural Pennsylvania and had a serious crush on all of the Village People (except Felipe') -

Last night I watched Drag Me To Hell and it was beyond bad, stupid, and horribly cliche. Totally barfalicious. I don't know how this could have been named the "best horror flick of 2009."

Cliched, stupid, bad... what qualities do you look for in your horror movies because those make them more appealing to me lol. I am a child of the 80's and the glory days of horror. I found this movie to have quite a few scares, but agreed it was a little much. Atleast it didn't take itself too seriously like some movies do

Cliched, stupid, bad... what qualities do you look for in your horror movies because those make them more appealing to me lol. I am a child of the 80's and the glory days of horror. I found this movie to have quite a few scares, but agreed it was a little much. Atleast it didn't take itself too seriously like some movies do

I didn't find it scary at all. That old wench was just annoying. The special effects (such as the shadow of the Lamia) were so pathetic that it felt as though I was watching some junior college production. I don't know, something about this movie just made me gag. Maybe I had high expectations due to the decent reviews and the fact that Raimi usually makes cheese that satisfies you.

Michelle, I'm sorry that we disagree on this one. I still love ya girl (and your scary movies taste).

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Gone in 60 Seconds with Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie has some good car chase scenes but... He is stealing a Mustang at International Towers in Long Beach, which is located on Broadway and Golden Shores Ave. During the chase to the St. Thomas Bridge where the car goes airborne, he races through some side streets to the Henry Ford Bridge and it would have been acceptable to take a right turn to the St. Thomas bridge but all of a sudden, he is racing down the L.A. River, which is accessible from 7th Street and no where near there and gets on the St. Thomas bridge. I would not want Nicolas Cage as a taxi driver because of the problem he has taking a direct route to get to San Pedro.

In Mel Gibson's first Lethal Weapon movie, a woman is either thrown or jumps from the same building (International Towers) in Long Beach. There is no traffic on either Broadway or Golden Shores Ave., even though it is the main access from the 710 freeway. There are also no lights on in the apartments except for the one the girl goes airborne. During that shooting, there was a huge party in the apartment 3 floors below and I don't remember if we turned the lights out during the taping.

In The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman is riding a motorcycle from San Francisco on the Bay Bridge. In this scene he is filmed on the upper levels of the bridge going West to East and in real life, that motorcycle going to Berkeley would have been on the lower levels of the Bay Bridge. Have the best dayMichael

Unfortunately yes. I defy you to watch the movie he did called "The Good German" all the way to the end. That was one of those movies where you want the time spent watching it returned to you. Seriously.

And while I'm here, I might as well mention another completepiece of shit that goes by the title: "Cyber Bandits" Made sometime in the nineties I think. It stars the indefatigable Grace Jones. Now normally I am a huge Grace fan, but even I must disagree with casting an eight and a half foot talll very dark skinned African American woman as an Asian girl named Yakimoto... As if this weren't bad enough, There is a party boy drunken sailor played by Legendary Musical Icon known as Adam Ant. At least we get to see old A.A. shot point blank, the movie's only high point.

I will make a standing offer here. I anyone wants either of these two movies, I will send them to you for free, just PM me with a mailing addy. I enjoy spreading the love around, just don't say you weren't warned.

I know I'll get excoriated here for saying this, but it's how I feel. I really think that Titanic was just about the worst movie ever. Agonizingly predictable, overblown, and just utterly lame. I figured out that Leo was a dead man within the first fifteen minutes of him coming onto the screen. I actually laughed out loud when he bit the dust. Or swallowed the water, as it were. I had taken my the BF to the movie as a part of his Christmas present. He was so pissed at me for laughing that he wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day...

There was an x-rated movie on the shelves at Diamond Head Video which my room mate was one of the "stars." When he took the job, it was because he wanted to know what it was like being paid for sex, my reply: Honey, we live in a Waikiki penthouse while your BF and my BF each pay half of the rent and they don't live here. We are both being paid for sex.

In his scene, there he was in speedos and the voice over was reminiscing about the hot young sufer studs on the beach that day. All of a sudden, he gets up from the chaise lounge to find a very large dildo mounted on the patio, next to the pool. He knows what to use it for and squats down as it slides right in.

Unknownst to the audience but knownst to the entire film crew, the house next door was getting a new roof and the roofers yelled and cheered through the entire filming. OK, what movie was I in?

Growing up in L.A., if you are not involved in music or film, you are nobody. I have a lifetime of being nobody but once, I was hired as an extra on Lauren Hutton and Jim Carrey's film Once Bitten. I made 50 bucks a day being in crowd scenes. When the film was finished, all I could see of myself was half of my face for a split second. Not bad work when you can get it Have the best dayMichael

I didn't find it scary at all. That old wench was just annoying. The special effects (such as the shadow of the Lamia) were so pathetic that it felt as though I was watching some junior college production. I don't know, something about this movie just made me gag. Maybe I had high expectations due to the decent reviews and the fact that Raimi usually makes cheese that satisfies you.

Michelle, I'm sorry that we disagree on this one. I still love ya girl (and your scary movies taste).

I don't find any horror movies scary to me now that I'm grown. The Old Wench was grossing me out with her hacking and pulling out her teeth. And it is cool that we agree to disagree, I luv ya too babe.

Here is another movie that sucked....MAJORLY......Slash--about some kid whose grandfather and father were killers in some backwoods farm. The kid and his so called rock band goes back home to visit and his band gets picked off one by one and they make a new song from Old McDonald...C'mon, I know I was not the only one to see this on Showtime....

Then there was once called Carver, I think this was on SyFY and Showtime...It's Halloween and a killer comes to kill a bunch of college kids throwing a party....Let's see The Hills have Eyes, Wrong Turn 2.....

More when I think of them. I guess most of mine will be about horror movies cuz that's my thing...Oh wait, I just thought of another one......the remake of Miami Vice....Yeah Colin Farell is fine but even his fine ass could not save that movie.

So, I have Netflix - last night movie "The Bounty Hunter" with Jennifer Anniston -HATED IT....She always seems to play the same type of role.The movie wasn't funny at all -- was like they were straining to try to make it a comedy -Predictable -No great storylineNot even a good romantic comedyIt took everything in me to watch it all the way through.Someone should send out a bounty hunter to collect all copies of this horrible movie and destroy them.Gotta be a crime somewhere.

So, I have Netflix - last night movie "The Bounty Hunter" with Jennifer Anniston -HATED IT....She always seems to play the same type of role.The movie wasn't funny at all -- was like they were straining to try to make it a comedy -Predictable -No great storylineNot even a good romantic comedyIt took everything in me to watch it all the way through.Someone should send out a bounty hunter to collect all copies of this horrible movie and destroy them.Gotta be a crime somewhere.

You know, I think she's cute as a button. Even cuter than Angelina .. But there's something about her, I dunno. It may have something to do with Brad tappin it or her looking like my sister. I like her in this movie. It's the same kind of role you say she always plays, but what's different than all those parts is this is how I would treat her as well.

You know, I think she's cute as a button. Even cuter than Angelina .. But there's something about her, I dunno. It may have something to do with Brad tappin it or her looking like my sister. I like her in this movie. It's the same kind of role you say she always plays, but what's different than all those parts is this is how I would treat her as well.

I actually like Jennifer - just didn't care for the movie - was expecting it to be funnier.

Next up, later this week, is The Strangers - with wrestler Steve Austin - action/adventure.

I don't recall Austin being in The Strangers (as in the horror flick with Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman). That was a movie with a great premise and a very shitty ending.

And yes. Anniston is a spawn from hell. All of her movies stink (and that sitcom of hers was vomititious; the only good thing in it was Lisa Kudrow).

« Last Edit: August 29, 2010, 11:28:23 PM by Rev. Moon »

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

There are so many I can't recall right now, but that way over hyped pretentious bloat of a TITANIC is right up near the top of the list. GLADIATOR and MYSTIC RIVER are elbowing their spots up there too on my list.

Give me a really good bad movie anytime like CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC. You can't sit through the whole thing even for kicks, but like really good bad movies it has some priceless bits. Best would be a compilation of great bad bits from all-time flops like XANADU and Liberace in SINCERELY YOURS.

Re: Grace Jones - love her. Several bad flicks! And by they way she is tiny, not the amazon her PR and photos make her out to be.

I never liked nor watched Friends when it was on. All the Swiss kids loved this show and now I watch it with them sometimes and I think its great and well done. 3 stories every episode, very economical, good laughs, nice lessons. On the other hand, Seinfeld, which I did like, dates horribly.

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ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

How could any movie with Lou Ferrigno in a little loincloth possibly be termed "bad"?

And CaptCarl, of course Titanic was predictable - we all knew the ship was going to sink!

My vote for worst movie of all time was The Piano, with Holly Hunter. How I ever managed to sit though that pretentious dreck I'll never know. Closelt followed by the Duchess of Langlois, which had all the pacing of a crippled snail.