Stuck In The Middle

Baby is here – hurrah! I can see my feet again – hurrah! I have no clothes that fit me – hurr…oh wait.

Yes, the arrival of Arthur did wonders for my waistline – I now look like a person again rather than a weeble – however it has left me with a different dilemma entirely. A lack of trousers.

My maternity trousers all fell down when I was pregnant so they don’t stand a chance now. Not to mention the fact that I have been wearing those same 3 pairs of trousers for what feels like the last 100 years (because pregnancy lasts that long, right?) and, quite frankly, I’m a bit sick of the sight of them.

So I went to investigate my wardrobe, rather hopefully I admit, to see if my ‘normal’ trousers miraculously fit me again already.

Ha. Yeah.

So the first three pairs I tried wouldn’t go up over my new treetrunk thighs (or, in one case, my not-so-small posterior) which depressed me a little. But I shook it off, reminded myself that they were kind of skinny-fit-ish styles and rummaged around for my ‘fat’ jeans.

And they fitted! Which means that they come up to where they are meant to despite my new shaped legs and bottom and they even do up…so long as I breathe in and don’t mind not eating all day…

Sigh.

Clearly I need to either eat more cake or do some exercise in order to save the world from the blinding horror of me wandering around in my underwear.

The sad truth is, I am in that position… And I haven’t had a baby. Not even not eating for five days seems to have made a difference. Sigh. At least the osteopath should deliver the ‘you may return to the gym’ verdict tonight.