The Big Ten was invading New Jersey to capture our television sets. Wasn’t that the story from this fall?

The league needed Rutgers for access to the eight million people who live here, hoping to get its profitable Big Ten Network on our cable systems and inundate us with wrestling matches from Evanston, Ill. and cheery features from Columbus, Ohio.

So imagine my surprise, while scrolling through the channel guide the other day, to discover that I've had BTN all along. There is was, nestled between FoxSoc and the MLB Network, on Channel 85.

The future already has arrived in my house. But in case it hasn't in yours, I tried to spend a full day watching the network last week, and in the process found more university propaganda, commercials for wheat control systems and previously aired games than you could possibly imagine.

Away we go:

9 a.m. – Forget the appetizers. We start with some football – namely, the BTN FOOTBALL REPORT, which is exactly how those two words appear on the screen. Big. Bold. Nothing lower-case here.

9:02 – Right to the news. A Michigan lineman passing on the NFL draft. An Ohio State running back granted a medical redshirt. A Penn State defensive coordinator goes to Georgia Tech. Someday, they’ll be talking about the Rutgers offensive coordinator, breathlessly wondering who will replace Dave Brock after he took the Delaware job.

9:03 – Now a look back on the week-old BCS title game, which of course featured Big Ten power … uh oh.

9:05 – The hosts cut to a clip of Urban Meyer, assessing if his undefeated team has national championship ability. “To say we can roll in there and say we can beat a team like (Alabama), if I was going to give you an honest answer, I think we’ve got too many holes to fill.” Well, at least he’s not sugarcoating it.

9:07 – The analysis from the three experts is even more blunt: Ohio State isn’t good enough. No shilling for the almighty B1G.

9:08 – Our first commercial. The scene: A man and his son are walking through a cornfield to a soft guitar music. Announcer: “You worked to protect your farm’s legacy – and to keep it going.” The man shucks an ear of corn and shows his son. It is perfect. The son smiles.

“Introducing the Enlist Wheat Control System: An advanced herbicide and trait system that will build on glyphosate for exceptional control of tough weeds.” Now the man is older and the son is grown up with his own son, and all three are getting into – wait for it – a pickup truck

I wonder if there’s any glyphosate to build on in Piscataway? Schiano must have left some behind.

9:21 – BTN is live at the East-West Shrine cam report. Howard Griffith, a Big Ten product, travels to Denver to interview Broncos receiver Eric Decker. Must be room in the travel budget.

9:30 – Now it’s time for the Big Ten Pulse, which is supposed to discuss “the latest issues in the Big Ten.” The hosts are going with the wild-and-crazy open collar look.

9:40 – Uh oh. My toddler son has entered the room.

“I want to watch Diego.”

“Sorry pal, but the star of this network is Delany, and he hasn’t expanded to the jungle – at least not yet.”

“MOMMY!”

9:55 – An entire segment on a shoe falling off during an Iowa game? On the “best hair in the Big Ten?” Yeah. Next!

10:00 – Wait a minute. It’s the BTN FOOTBALL REPORT again. A quick look at the schedule shows this is the eighth airing already on Tuesday, which is less than the 18 times “Big Ten Finale” airs on Wednesday. Change the letters BTN to the GHD – Groundhog Day.

10:14 – Which raises an interesting question: Just how much of the BTN is live Big Ten football? The network’s website says it will air about 40 games a year, which is about 140 hours of football. There are 8,760 hours in a year, which means live football accounts for 1.6 percent of the programming.

Then again, since BTN aired Eastern Kentucky at Purdue, Charleston Southern at Illinois, Ball State at Indiana and New Hampshire at Minnesota in the first three weeks of last season alone, maybe this is not a bad thing.

11 – Whew. Something different – “BTN: Live B1G,” a show that spends a half hour profiling one of the member schools. This one is on Ohio State. “I think ‘Buckeye for Life’ is something that gets inside you,” basketball coach Thad Matta tells us. And you were worried about the flu.

11:06 – You know those 30-second commercials from each school during halftime of a college football game? Now imagine them lasting 30 minutes, and you have BTN: Live B1G.”

11:19 – Cutting-edge automotive safety. Global-warming research. Fundraising to defeat cancer. Ohio State is saving the world and the NCAA put it on probation for, what, free tattoos?!

11:27 – Touching feature on Stefanie Spielman, the wife of former NFL and Buckeyes star Chris Spielman, who raised millions for cancer research before the disease killed her in 2009. An easy prediction: Eric LeGrand will be a star someday on BTN.

11:30 – Purdue gets its turn on BTN: Live B1G. “Purdue University: Known to many as the cradle of astronauts.” Right to Neil Armstrong. One giant step for mankind. Boom!

11:38 – I’ve already got the theme for Rutgers: “Birthplace of Football … and the Fat Darrell.”

11:49 – Athletes helping in Haiti. Cutting-edge engineering advances. Crop development in Africa. Purdue is saving the world, too. I know who should hire the Big Ten Network for P.R. help: Congress.

12:15 – Update on commercials: Lots of them for clean-your-PC companies, hair-loss solutions and for a program called “Piano for Quitters.” So if you're balding with a virus-contaminated computer and can't focus long enough to play Chopsticks, BTN has something for you.

12:40 – Wait a minute. I’m not just watching a women’s basketball game. I’m watching a previously aired women’s basketball game. Purdue won this in triple OT last night. Piano for Quitters could get better ratings.

1:13 – “This is Verizon Fios, how may I assist you today?”

“Hello. Am I paying extra for the Big Ten Network?”

“The what?”

“The Big Ten Network. Channel 85. Am I paying extra for it?”

“Uhhh …”

1:18 – After five minutes of clicking and waiting … “No, sir. That’s part of your package. You’re not paying extra.” So much for that tax deduction.

Industry experts estimate that BTN charges pennies for television providers to carry the network in non-Big Ten markets, compared to nearly a dollar in places like Indiana and Michigan.

1:22 – Man, Purdue should have won this in regulation. “Free basketball coming in West Lafayette!” the play-by-play guy yells. And more free hair-restoration commercials!

1:39 – Speaking of commercials, I tried to do some actual reporting on the Enlist Wheat Control System. “Thank you for submitting your request to the Enlist Media Room. Unfortunately, we were unable to approve your request.” Yeah, well take your glyphosate and shove it.

2 – Now we head to Bloomington, Ind., where the Hoosiers go for the upset against No. 4 Minnesota. This is a Student U. feature – a broadcast completely produced by students with student announcers.

2:02 – And the students look, well, a little nervous. Hey, wouldn’t you be? One day, you’re filming a segment for your journalism school professor, and the next, you’re in 50 million homes.

2:40 – We’re going to estimate, however, that number of actual homes tuned to Minnesota-Indiana wrestling is closer to 50. The Golden Gophers will win 41-3. Yes, this is also a tape-delayed event.

3:31 – Even the student announcers seemed bored. Think about the flipside, though: The Big Ten is broadcasting an event featuring unpaid student athletes while using student broadcasters making just over minimum wage. Jim Delany, you’re an evil genius!

4:01 – This looks like a pretty good game when it pops on the screen: Michigan State vs. Texas, and sure, I did not expect it to be live. But from Dec. 22? That’s 24 days ago. Santa still hadn’t visited. We were still dangling on the Fiscal Cliff.

4:45 – So I had to ask: What’s with all the old stuff?

“This is the one and only day without a live event in the month of January,” explained Mark Silverman, the president of the network, in a phone interview.

Silverman estimates BTN will air 700-800 live events this year. The network scored the highest ratings in its history on Saturday when two top-10 teams, Indiana and Minnesota, played. The network treated it like the big event it was, moving its pregame show to campus and showing all of the pregame hoopla from the gym.

5:02 – Of course, if they can’t fill all the hours now, what about July? “We try to be a little creative in what we do,” he said of the empty summer months. Lots of Big Ten history.

5:15 – As for Rutgers, well, Silverman doesn’t know how much of a presence it’ll have on the network. The BTN and the conference are separate entities. Don’t expect an all-out Scarlet blitz in hopes of attracting new viewers here.

“We still have to formulize what (adding Rutgers) means for the Big Ten Network,” he said.

One guess: Fans should start calling their cable providers now, because the network might have to use your teams as a pawn in negotiations. And if it took Cablevision two years to add the YES Network, the battle could be a long one.

7 – Usually, BTN would have something live here. Instead, it’s Michigan-Ohio State in a “Big Ten Classic.” It’s so good – gulp – the network will air it three times over the next 8 ½ hours.

8:40 – Well, say this about the “classic” games on BTN. At least, unlike the YES Network, a Big Ten team has to lose. This time, Michigan does, for the first time.

9 – Finally, we get “The Journey,” which is the Network’s signature show. The music, the quick highlights, have a Friday Night Lights feel – only with the occasional yell from Gus Johnson.

9:08 – The show jumps from four storylines, including Nebraska trying to navigate its new conference. The cameras are on the buses, in the airport and even in the hotel for pregame walkthroughs.

9:14 – But the most compelling story is Thad Matta, looking back on growing up in Hoopeston, Ill., and playing for the high school team: The Cornjerkers. This is more than just Big Ten, but the culture of Big Ten country. If you love hoops, you’re hooked.

9:30 – “The Journey” is as good as advertised. But now, its back to a two-day-old “classic” basketball game. I’m stopping at one viewing.

11:30 – Now comes the “Big Ten Finale,” which is essentially the BTN version of Sports Center. It’ll air for the rest of the night and into the morning. If you follow the conference, this is your one stop for highlights.

Someday, there will be Rutgers highlights on it. And that might be the only thing that makes most of us watch.