Thank You Note DON'Ts

Top 10 FAQs

Here are the Top 10 Most Frequently Asked Questions ( FAQs ) about thank you notes. The answers are taken from professional research, etiquette experts, and personal experience.

1. How long do I have to write a thank you note?

Obviously send them out as soon as possible, but within 2 weeks is generally acceptable. For wedding gifts, it's 2 weeks for presents received before the wedding and within one month for ones received after. For gifts received while you were sick, write them as soon as you're well enough.

2. Do I have to write a thank you note for a thank you note?

No. But if you received a thank you gift and the giver wasn't there to thank in person, then yes, you should write a note. (If the gift is from a close friend or relative, you can email or call.)

3. When do I need to send a thank you gift in addition to a note?

This is really a judgment call on your part. A big over-the-top gift
for a comparatively minor favor might embarrass the recipient and
backfire on you. For example: Did you see the Seinfeld episode where
Elaine buys George a cup of coffee, so he buys her a coffeemaker as a
thank you? Elaine was more confused than impressed. In this case, a
simple verbal "thanks" when George received the coffee would have been
sufficient.