Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.

Betty: You did it. You killed Melanie. You put your jacket on her body. I saw it, Matthew. The police showed me the pictures.Matthew: Now you weren't there. You don't know what happened.Betty: Oh, god.Matthew: Caleb hurt her, and Melanie threatened to bring us all down because of that.Betty: So your solution was to make your brother think he murdered a girl and to make me think it?Matthew: What other choice did I have? I knew that you wouldn't hand Caleb over to the police. I knew that you would protect him.

Bree: Excuse me. Do you have the time?Alfred: Yeah, it's just after 8.Bree: Oh, I was afraid of that.Alfred: Afraid of what?Bree: Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until 7. You see, I have a problem with sleepwalking. They just tie me up so that I don't wander off and hurt myself.Alfred: Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.

Nora: Hi.Lynette: Hi. Did you get the check?Nora: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. Do you have a minute?Lynette: Tom?!Nora: I'm not the type of person that can keep things bottled up inside.Lynette: Really?Nora: So I'm just gonna have to get this off my chest. You made me feel really bad about myself yesterday at the restaurant.Lynette: My sincerest apologies.Nora: You treated me like some sort of mercenary, like the only reason I came here was to extort money from you.Lynette: Well, to be honest, first, we bought you pie, then you tried to extort money from us.

Bree: Have they rung up your prescription yet?Rex: No, they're getting it right now.Bree: Good, add that on.Rex: You're dying your hair honey wheat blond?Bree: Oh, it's not for me, it's for Danielle. That hair is going back to the color god intended.Rex: You actually think she's gonna sit still as you towel this through her hair?Bree: Oh, I will tie her down if necessary. I'm also thinking of checking her body for piercings while I'm at it.

Betty: I would have protected you.Matthew: Well, I really couldn't count on that.Betty: Matthew...Matthew: You don't love me as much as you love Caleb. You never have.Betty: Perhaps. But it's because he's needed me more. You are always going to find love in the world. Don't you understand? He was only ever going to get it from me.Matthew: You know, I know you believe that. That's why I've tried so hard to forgive you. And who knows? Maybe one day I will.(Betty goes to the phone and dials 911)Operator: 911. What's your emergency?Betty: I need the police.

Nora: Hey, you! You must be Lynette.Lynette: And you must be Nora.Nora: I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.Lynette: Probably.Tom: Wh...where's Kayla?Nora: Oh, she didn't come. We got into this huge fight, and I was, like...I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the neighbors. But, hey, come on, you got me.

Danielle: See, I told you she wasn't home. Her car's not even here.Mathew: And you said the safe was upstairs?Danielle: Damn it, my mother must have changed the combination.Matthew: Okay. Wait here. I'll be right back.

Carlos: Okay, Gaby, can we please talk about this?! You're the one that gave me permission, remember? You said, "go have sex with somebody"!Gabrielle: To have meaningless sex, Carlos. Not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child!Carlos: What is the matter?! Look, we're even! You had an affair, and I had an affair!Gabrielle: I had a reason to. You were never here! I've been here, Carlos. I have tried so hard to not be selfish and to put your needs above mine. I mean, for god sakes, look at me! I have agreed to be a mother for you!Carlos: Look, Gaby, you have every right to be mad at me. So I'm gonna go and check into a hotel room and let you cool down, but we are going to work this out.Gabrielle: Forget the hotel, Carlos. Get a lease.

Gabrielle: Carlos, you promised you'd come home today. Well, I don't care what Tanaka wants! Rattling around this stupid house all by myself is not what I signed up for! No, no, no, don't hang up on me. I'm not done yelling at you!John: Mrs. Solis, how are you?Gabrielle: The best you've ever had.

Psychiatrist: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be flip, but you came here because you were troubled, and then you refuse any help we give you.Bree: Things were falling apart at home, and I just...I just needed a place to rest, that's all.Psychiatrist: I think there's more to it than that.Bree: Do you?Psychiatrist: I think it has to do with your kids. You don't want to talk about them. Why is that?Bree: Probably because I'm ashamed.

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Edie: You don't have the guts.Susan: In five seconds, I'm gonna punch it.Edie: (holds up a set of keys) Yeah? I'll key your car!Susan: Not if you're sucking my exhaust, you won't.Edie: Take back what you said!Susan: No, I won't!Edie: Admit it, you'd do anything to destroy my happiness!Susan: Edie, for God's sake. Why would I care if you end up with a man I despise?Edie: 'Cause you and Mike are finished. Yeah, word's out. And now that you can't be happy, you don't want anyone else to be, period.