Tuesday, October 04, 2005

ME BRAIN SLOW

I have the strangest feeling that my brain cells are somehow throwing themselves down on sharp things. My memory has progressively gotten worse. It never was razor sharp, but now it’s barley a dull edge. The thing that has becomeapparentt is that the part of my brain responsible for names and phone numbers, has been used as a trampoline by the rest of the brain cells. I have always excepted that, kind a embraced it in a way. Making light of the fact that you just introduced yourself to me and in the midst of the words leaving your mouth they have been forgotten. Then the cat and mouse begins. I call you “man”, “bro”, “dude”, or just say "whats up” when I see you.But lately my mind has gone to forgetting things that I really know. Like how to pee. Not really but you get the idea. I can’t tell if it’s that I am getting older or if I just think about too much at once and lose everything by doing it. Whatever the reason it’s worrying me. So if you see a 6’7 guy standing on a corner with half his face shaved and a confused look, please stop your car, check my wrist band and take me home to my wife.OK so I did forget how to pee.

I think that small children are actually a keystone species and that they absorb the things that their growing bodies require from those closest to them. Think of the "Rogue" character in X-Men.

It's so obvious that they don't get this from FOOD. Half of them don't even eat, and what they do eat isn't even real!

At the youngest ages it's brain cells and cognitive abilities. Getting older it moves into balance, dexterity and endurance.

As they become teenagers it switches to things like lust, angst, and the need for adrenaline.

This is why the guys who were free climbing rock faces and boinking everything is site, twenty years ago, are now content to sit in a recliner all weekend, wearing a spotted tank top, drinking cheap beer and watching re-runs. All of there manhood has been absorbed by a houseful of life-sucking offspring.

Basically is like the cute little baby mantis that feed off the corpse of the daddy-mantis (conveniently provided by his wife, but let's not get sidetracked on THAT analogy right now)

...only much slower and more painfully in your case.

Cheers!

-Perk

ps- This would also explain why guys like Richie are still acting and playing like your basic thirteen year old boy no matter how many years they've been around. He had daughters!

I remember going through this phase in life. Sort of. My memory slipped a bit... I remember NOT remembering stuff at least. I remember my cognitive abilities slipped a bit too. It was around my 18th or 19th year if I recall correctly. I asked my mother if she went through that. She just stared at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train... Then she tied me to a wall, stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 and a half years old.

I think.

A lot of those years are fuzzy.

Don't worry, I compensated by just putting other people down and mocking their insecurities. So it all worked out ok.