Kiss to Open Kiss Coffeehouse in Las Vegas

The rock band Kiss is planning on opening a coffeehouse in Las Vegas next year.

And as if that wasn’t weird enough, apparently a Kiss Coffeehouse already exists in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and has existed for FIVE YEARS.

The Las Vegas Sun is calling the Kiss Coffeehouse “nothing like a Starbucks or typical coffee joint”–comfy chairs and tables that are a little bit too small will be replaced by “twenty-foot-tall smoking Kiss boots” to “greet guests” and 100-ounce “guitar sippers” that flash colors and play hard rock.

This new Kiss Coffeehouse hopes to capitalize on the Las Vegas Kiss-mania that will undoubtedly be sweeping the Strip after a new Kiss-themed mini golf course opens nearby this fall.

It’s almost impossible to imagine why anyone would want Kiss-themed coffee, but having a dozen flavors of $6 frozen “rockuccinos” is certainly in line with the band’s musical ethos of “sure, the songs are bland enough that, even in 1973, they could have been written by a computer, but we do have weird makeup and say “rock” a lot.”

Oh, and in case you were looking to vomit some blood of your own today (stage optional!), Kiss frontman Gene Simmons conveniently outlined the worldview behind the band’s brand expansion at a music conference in Montreal last year:

“It doesn’t matter what it is: Whether it has music, whether it’s a religious symbol, a political symbol, or a politician — everything should be a brand.”