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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Real Women Kick Ass 2: Kick Assier!

Borderline.

Surprisingly (or not) there were a few
complaints about my last Real Women Kick Ass list. Not because of
the content, mind, but because of the women I left out. (If you haven't read it, SHAME ON YOU! Or, just read it here.)

While I
didn't agree with all of the new suggestions, there were a couple of
gems in there that made me think that I probably should make a new
list.

So, here you go. Real women who kick
ass, the sequel.

Katee Sackhoff,
Battlestar Galactica

I
genuinely don't know how I missed putting Starbuck on my list. I
have no idea. But I'm here to make up for that.

Katee
Sackhoff's role on Battlestar
was originally written for, and in the 1970s (terrible) series
performed by, a man. Starbuck, her character, is essentially an air
force pilot. She's one of the original space marines, engaging in
daily space battles with a deadly robot enemy, and always working to
come out on top. Reasons we love her? Because Katee Sackhoff, for
the run of the show, really looked like a soldier. No soft arms or
pretty curves, this girl was all muscle. She looked like she could
bench press her ship. Her character was a tough, flawed, and
intensely emotionally scarred woman and Sackhoff made sure that her
performance realized all of that. Oh, and a reason we loved the
show? Because Starbuck was never the token girl, or even one of the
guys. She was just a soldier, like everybody else. Gold freaking
star.

Gina
Torres,
Firefly

I
noted Gina Torres last time as an honorable mention, but she really
does deserve her own entry. As the deadly Zoe on Firefly
(and the Serenity
movie, which wasn't as bad as people keep saying it was, shut up),
Torres managed to convey both strength and a beautiful femininity.
She was always a warrior, but also a wife. Her marriage to awesome
husband Wash (played by the amazing Alan Tudyk) was an example of how
two people can come together without gender boundaries getting in the
way. She's a badass. He juggles geese. They're both competent,
wonderful people who love each other very much. She's just a lot
better at fighting. And Torres performance really sold it. In every
frame she exudes strength. When she wields a shotgun, you know she
knows how to use it, and when she punches someone, you feel kind of
bad for the extra.

Now
just take a minute and imagine Gina Torres playing Evelyn Salt in
Salt
or starring in Columbiana.
Aren't you a little more scared now? Good.

Michelle
Rodriguez,
Everything she has
ever done.

This
one's kind of a gimme, I'll grant it. Michelle Rodriguez is
legitimately crazy, arrested multiple times for assault, drunk
driving, and other various anti-social behaviors. So maybe my
ability to believe her when she plays out of control badasses is a
little tinted by the fact that I don't think she's acting very much,
but still. Damn do I believe her. In Girlfight
(pretty decent movie, worth a watch, way better than Million
Dollar Baby), she's a
very believable boxer, all muscles and mean. In Fast
and Furious, you can see
her doing jail time and coming out just fine. In Avatar
she makes a damn good space marine.

Sure,
she plays a type, but at least it's a cool type, and at least we
believe her. And by her own admission, she plays badasses because
they're the most interesting characters. When interviewed about her
acting choices (and why she keeps dying in her movies), Rodriguez
explained that she didn't want to play the girlfriend, or the funny
sidekick or the best friend. And really all that was left was
playing psychos.

Fair
enough.

Katey
Sagal,
Sons of Anarchy

Short
story: I love her.

Long
story: I saw Katey Sagal on the street once and genuinely wondered if
she was packing heat. You just never know.

Sagal
is one of those cases where you can think you know an actress, and
then all of a sudden they do a new role, and you realize that you
never knew them (or their range) at all. From Peg Bundy to Gemma
Morrow, there's a hell of a switch. As Gemma Morrow, I entirely
believe that Sagal is a biker momma who can beat me half to death
with a skateboard outside a grocery store if I looked at her husband
funny. I would not ding her car in a parking lot. And I would
definitely not ever badmouth her motorcycle club. She's brawny and
brainy and all over sex appeal. But most importantly, Sagal managed
to play a badass woman who went through something horrible*, dealt
with her feelings of vulnerability and rage, and came out much
stronger on the other side. How can you not want twenty more of her
on tv?

Carrie
Ann Moss,
The Matrix and
Memento

This
one's a little more simplistic. Remember Carrie Ann Moss? Remember
Trinity? Yeah, she was ripped. Fantasy world or not, that was a
chick who I was pretty sure could beat me up. I knew she could beat
Neo up. Moss looked like she could eat Keanu Reeves for breakfast.
In Memento,
it's even more noticeable. Though playing an unstable bartender
trying to get one over on Guy Pierce, Moss still comes off as cool
and hardcore. Probably because she's so physically strong, it
informs the physicality of her characters. They don't just walk,
they stride. She never floats. She damn well marches. If there
were a real cyber-revolution out there, I'd follow Moss anywhere,
because I'm pretty sure the alternative wouldn't be worth living
with.

Maggie
Q
and Lyndsy Fonseca,
Nikita

As
I mentioned last time, Maggie Q is a tiny person. But, as we (or the
internet, at least) know, she's also a martial arts expert, and
really really good at making people bigger than her beat up. So she
at least gets a mention for that. While I wouldn't ever look at her
and think "Ooh, scary!", now that I know, yeah. She kind
of freaks me out.

Lyndsy
Fonseca, on the other hand, I actually think looks pretty buff. Not
hardcore buff like some of the women on this list, but as far as the
"women on television who I think could probably kick my ass
and/or play Wonder Woman" list goes, she certainly gets a spot.
Her takedowns on Nikita
don't use too much movie magic to make it look real. She struggles,
she sweats, she make unattractive grunting sounds, and when she
manages to get him down, I buy it. Fonseca is one to watch.

Maybe
next time I'll come up with a list of women who I don't buy as action
heroes, but for now I think I've spent this topic. LIke I said, I
don't demand that everything I watch be completely and utterly
feminist at all times. Hell no. It's more that sometimes, every
once in a while, I want to watch a movie and actually believe that
what's happening could happen, without the help of special effects
and wires and cgi. I want it to be real. Because if it's real, then
that means that I can do it too.

And
that's what I really want.

I would also like to be able to field strip a gun blindfolded, but we all have goals.

*SPOILER:
In the beginning of Season 2, Gemma was gang-raped as a scare tactic
to break the club apart. By choosing not to say anything and only
reveal what had happened at the right time, she was able to bond the
club together closer than ever, and destroy the men who hurt her.
So, yeah. Badass.