“Watchmen” (based on the graphic novel I previously reviewed) is set in alternate 1985. The U.S. won the Vietnam War (with the help of Dr. Manhattan). Richard Nixon is on his fifth term of office. At any moment we could be swapping nukes with the Russians. And in New York City, a Comedian dies…

So goes “Watchmen,” the latest superhero/graphic novel adaptation from acclaimed graphic novel adapting filmmaker, Zack Snyder. For those who don’t know (or read the title cards in the trailers) Snyder is responsible for the film adaptation of “300,” a graphic novel by Frank Miller. Ever the technical director, Snyder ups the ante with his take on the acclaimed Moore/Gibbons series.

Before I go too much further, I finally figured out what a “fanboy” or “fangirl” is. These are the people who turn out to see these movies on the sheer fact that what they’re watching is based on the comic book/graphic novel. This is ultimately their movie.

And for them Snyder delivers. Snyder takes literal adaptation to the next level by making sure that the film looks EXACTLY like the graphic novel in every frame possible. If you just wanted to see this achieved, then here you go.

If you liked “300,” or Zack Snyder as a director, or love comic book movies no matter what (and I cannot stress that enough), then this is your movie. Have at it. Enjoy.

Still reading? Good.

“Watchmen” fails on the account that Snyder doesn’t understand nuance. Or breathing room. Or the fact that just because you wanna make a carbon copy of something the acclaim of the source material will shine down upon you, because it won’t (see: Gus Van Sant version of “Psycho”) Through this movie I have learned the reason why the “boring parts” in books and movies exist: because we, the audience, need a moment to process what just happened.

For those who have read the graphic novel, do this: take out all scenes centering around the man and his newsstand. Take out all of the “Tales of the Black Freighter.” Take out all the newsclippings, sections from “Hooded Justice,” and anything remotely literary. What you have left is the “Watchmen” movie.

And on that note Snyder is a success, although I think that removing allegory, nuance, paranoia and subtlety in favor of slick brutality and violence isn’t much of a success, but then again I don’t have his bank account. The one thing I will give him credit for is the opening; a montage of events surrounding superheroes caught in 3-D slow-mo. I also thought his ending worked better than the “giant psychic squid” of the graphic novel.

As for the rest, it was difficult for me to care. I loved Rorschach in the graphic novel; a post-40’s detective that nobody likes solving a murder no one cares about and finding the answers reveal something more sinister. While the same is achieved in the movie, Snyder does not allow for the same breathing room as the comics and forgoes the noir tone for action/adventure. Imagine a movie like, “Chinatown,” with most of the investigating removed.

“Watchmen” writer Alan Moore had his name taken off of this and refuses to acknowledge the movie, citing it as “unfilmable.” Maybe it’s because previous works, “From Hell,” and “V for Vendetta,” weren’t faithful to his vision. Having read the graphic novel, I entirely understand. But I hope he gets some of the royalties…

–Good news for Zack Snyder/ “Watchmen” fans. Warner Bros. and Fox have reached a settlement over the movie. For those who don’t know the backstory Warner Bros. gave the go-ahead to do a “Watchmen” movie. Late in the game a contract was found dating back to the Nineties which showed that Fox had distribution rights on the graphic novel. Fox threatened to halt distribution while the WB was too far into production to stop the movie (i.e. it was almost in post). The settlement is reportedly $5-$10 mil from WB upfront to Fox, then an additional 5-8% of the theatrical gross.

–A new prequel for “The Thing” will involve what happened to the Norwegian scientists (who were dead at the beginning of John Carpenter’s “The Thing.”)

–Keanu Reeves has been confirmed for the “Cowboy Bebop” movie.

–Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke will be in “Iron Man 2.”

–Joaquin Phoenix has officially left acting to be a rap star. Chronicling his adventures on video is his best friend Casey Affleck.

–J.K. Simmons will reprise his role as J.J. Jameson in “Spidey 4.”

–Reshooting on the upcoming “Wolverine” movie DOES NOT mean previous shooting went bad. Several actors’ schedules couldn’t clear until now.

“How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” – Based on the magazine article, Simon Pegg is a British journalist who is hired by a New York magazine. Also stars Jeff Bridges, Megan Fox, and Kirtsen Dunst. Opens October 3, 2008 View the trailer at:

“W” – Oliver Stone presents a story of a man who knows how to party, how to gamble, how to have a good time. This man has some lows; notably, bad management over a sports team and oil company. However, he triumphs and becomes President of the United States. This piece of Americana opens October 17, 2008. View the trailer at:

“Watchmen” – Based on the graphic novel/comic book series, this follows an alternate 1985 where a superhero is killed and the investigation into his murder reveals a plot to discredit all superheroes. Opens March 6, 2009. View the trailer at:

“Ghost Town” – “Office” and “Extras” creator Ricky Gervais is a jerk dentist who, after being dead for 7 minutes, is able to see ghosts. He’s imposed upon by Greg Kinnear to stop his former wife (Tea Leoni) from getting married to the wrong guy. Opens September 19, 2009. View the trailer at:

“Surfer, Dude” – Matthew McConaughey is a surfer with a problem: there’s a drought in the wave department. His manager (Woody Harrelson) gets him to try to endorse a “3-D” surfing game. Dude. Also stars Willie Nelson. Coming Soon! View the trailer at:

“Up” – Quoting the Official Plot Summary: Carl Fredricksen spent his entire life dreaming of exploring the globe and experiencing life to its fullest. But at age 78, life seems to have passed him by, until a twist of fate (and a persistent 8-year old Wilderness Explorer named Russell) gives him a new lease on life. “Up” takes audiences on a thrilling journey where the unlikely pair encounter wild terrain, unexpected villains and jungle creatures. Coming Soon! View the trailer at:

“Untitled Friday the 13th Sequel” – Let’s get this straight: you already know that a hockey-mask wearing psychopath named Jason Vorhees is out to kill teen/twenty-something campers as they’re about to have sex. You may proceed… View the trailer at:

Seeing as yesterday I released the list of Marvel’s production slate, it was only fair to devote today to D.C. Sad to say, D.C. is not fairing so well. With the fact that the Justice League movie has been tabled due to George Miller’s financing problems, well… at least we have “The Dark Knight” being released on July 18th, right?

So, here’s where it all stands:

–Justice League. As said above, director George Miller (“Mad Max” trilogy, “Happy Feet”) is having finance options. Adam Brody and Common were attached to the project. This is officially tabled.

–Watchmen. Directed by Zack Snyder (“300”) this is a murder mystery set in an alternate 1985 where superheroes are a part of everyday society, and someone wants them all discredited. Carla Gugino, Patrick Wilson, and Billy Crudup star. Opens March 6, 2009.

–Superman: Man of Steel. Set for June 2009 release. No further details.

–Wonder Woman. A woman brought up in an Amazonian kingdom to be like the Greek gods and goddesses comes to the cityscape. No further details available.