Hot off the presses comes the following heartwarming story from Illinois: drunk woman tries to drive to Taco Bell, gets stopped by a car and house that she drives into!
Take it, Patch!

A Tinley Park woman is facing multiple citations, including one for drunken driving, after a trip to Taco Bell went off course.

Elizabeth N. Naegele, 19, of 17927 66th Ct. in Tinley Park, is
accused of crashing into a parked car and driving into the front yard of
an Oak Forest home, destroying a wooden wishing well lawn decoration on
May 10.

Police
said they responded to a single-car crash in the 15000 block of Waverly
Avenue. During their investigation, police determined that the green
1995 Pontiac Grand Am slammed into a car parked in a driveway, hopped a
ditch and came to a stop in a nearby yard.

Naegele was bleeding from the mouth and was taken to South Suburban
Hospital for treatment. There, according to police, she said she had
consumed six Bud Light Lime bottles and several shots of vodka. She also
reportedly smelled of alcohol.

Naegele told police she climbed behind the wheel of the car to drive
several of her friends to the Mexican fast-food chain restaurant.