Girl Meets Nerd: Robocop

You guys are lucky today’s blog was going to actually be a part three to the fish tank saga, because, SPOILER ALERT: I killed two fish. Whatever. Instead something magical happened at my house on Thursday night; my husband watched the trailer for the new Robocop movie and lost his $#@%ing mind.

Now, I fully admit, I’ve never seen the original Robocop and honestly still have no desire to. This one I’m assuming is pretty much the same story just updated with much snazzier technology and CGI.

Side note, I just made my first batch of guacamole. I know not a big deal to you fools, but trust it’s a big step up from the shit I usually make. Next week I will give you my recipe for ghetto chow. End aside.

Back to Robocop.

From what I gathered from the trailer the movie is about a cop who get’s injured like really, really bad. He’s pretty much dead, maybe missing a leg or arm (what a twist, maybe both!), and the FBI or some millionaire funded company decides he’d be the perfect person to test their new cop suit on. The cop suit pretty much becomes you. It’s like if Iron Man could only live/exist while wearing his suit, you dig? So he becomes this super hero of sorts, stopping criminals and shit. But wait…he’s going rogue! He’s also fighting other RoboCop’s and Michael Keaton (who according to my husband he will always have a soft spot in his heart for due to Beetlejuice, Batman and Mr. Mom)! Plus he might still have feelings for his wife, whomp whomp, what’s a RoboCop to do? Blow a bunch of shit up while killing peeps I guess. And end of trailer. Naturally all of you want to see this now, right? You don’t, well guess who does? MY HUSBAND.

He giggled with delight when the suit was shown. He even recited the line in the trailer when Robocop says, “Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.” He was so pumped up over this he demanded I watch the original RIGHT THEN. Since I don’t give two shits, I declined. He tried again, saying that I didn’t have to watch it right that minute, but this weekend I should try to get to it. Bitch, please. It’s like my husband thinks that on my weekends I’m sitting at home with nothing to do. I’m a social butterfly and my wings need to fly. Plus it was Oktoberfest, so ya know.

After the giggling ceased, my husband told me to go on twitter and tweet #Robocop. He said if you do that you will immediately get a response from a twitter feed saying, “I’d buy that for a dollar,” which apparently is a line from a television show within the movie. Who knew?! Naturally I went on twitter, wrote “This is a test…#Robocop.” You know who tweeted back at me?! NOBODY! Well technically two of my guy friends did but that was not who I was trying to get to respond to me, but still, well played boys, well played.

To test this theory a second time my husband just a few minutes ago has just tweeted ‘Robocop’ no hashtag or anything. So far zero responses. His excuse, “Oh man, I think the bot is done. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it.” You guys, he is seriously bummed about this. He is searching his twitter feed to prove that this once existed. He’s failing, just like Tony Romo aka my arch nemesis.

At the same time of my husbands discovery of the new trailer, apparently everyone else was also viewing it because my Facebook and twitter feeds exploded. Sorry baby and cat pictures, Robocop was the only thing in my social media feeds Thursday night. My husband’s friend, Sweetloaf Bonerhug, called him to discuss the trailer. Have you ever wondered what it was like for two grown men to debate if a half man – half robot could have feelings then this argument is for you! PS – no conclusion was reached. After that there was the whole issue of was the trailer awesome or dumb as shit. Once again it was a tie, one for awesome and one for dumb as shit. They then proceeded to talk about how he gets injured. In the OG version he was shot like 20348384289374837432657263 times and still survived. Miracles of the 80’s y’all. In the new movie he gets injured in a car bomb, I mean bullets are soooo old school. That debate on as to the car bomb survival being more realistic than being shot two trillion times and surviving. Again, they had to agree to disagree. They even tried to bring me in on this conversation to judge if one of them was (and I quote) “being a hater to just be a hater.” The only thing to really take that entire conversation to a new level would’ve been if one of them ended with YOLO.

The Robocop excitement didn’t die down after the call, in fact I feel it was enhanced. My husband then decided he needed to tell me about how Detroit is raising (or raised) money so they could erect a statue of Robocop in their city. THIS IS REAL PEOPLE. Dear Detroit, this is why you are $#@%ed. Immediately after that little fun fact, he went straight into how much he loves the original Robocop portrayer, Peter Weller. Who appeared in the last Star Trek movie. When he showed up on screen my husband squealed with delight, you can revisit that here. Next came this conversation ditty, “With the original Robocop preview on MTV the song they used was Rush’s (my husband loves Rush, gross) ‘The Body Electric’ which was about cyborgs.” Of course it is.

It’s Sunday night and I thought that football and my husband’s fish tank would end any and all Robocop action in our house. I was wrong. “The Body Electric” is now blaring from the iPad next to me with my husband singing along.

The pugs and I are not impressed.

————————————- Kacie Baum is a professional partier, mother of two pugs, and the wife of Matt Baum. She tolerates the constant presence of the Two-Headed Nerd in her home each week. She did not write this bio. Pre-THN entries of Girl Meets Nerd can be found here.