As an American, there is no greater service that you can perform for your country than to drink vast quantities of beer. Not pussy foreign "Heineken" or "Corona" beer, the purchase of which amounts to draining the faltering American economy in order to subsidize enemy (non-US) nations. We're talking about real god damn American beer. Budweiser. Miller. The shit that G.I. Joe would drink.

The fact is the American brewing industry today is dominated by foreign interests. A-B and MillerCoors together control 78.4% of the U.S. market, according to Beer Marketer's Insights. The largest U.S.-owned company that makes and sells beer in the States is Rochester, N.Y.-based North American Breweries, which has 1.2% share with brands such as Genesee and Magic Hat.

Ad Age would just like to remind you that all the money you spend on American flag-emblazoned Bud cans and yellow ribbon-emblazoned Miller High Life ultimately ends up in British or Canadian or Belgian or Brazilian hands—foreign hands clutching our precious American dollars in one hand, and with the other hand making more patriotic All-American flag-waving commercials targeted at you, the drunk American beer sheep.