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test on the MI5 website, it's like a pre-application 15 minute test to see if you have what it takes and then take your application further and it told me i am a possible good candidate with a good head for making the right decisions at the right times and i should consider taking the application further.

At present, we are very keen to speak to people who speak: Arabic (all dialects, and particularly North African), Sorani, Bengali, Urdu with or without Gujarati, Punjabi, Chinese (Mandarin), Somali, Pushto, Persian and Russian.

We both think being a war correspondent/undercover investigative journalist would be pretty cool, and joining our respective nations' intelligence agencies would be the best kind of training - they give you language skills and everything.

Plus you can bring the system down from the inside, which is always nice.

It'll be just like a movie - a group of friends joining up together to serve their country. We'll get assigned to be footsoldiers, but our slightly nerdy friend will get assigned to reasearch & development. On assignment in the Middle East a mission will go badly wrong, and it'll look like I've been lost - you take comfort in the arms of, I dunno, klaire. But then you'll receive a radio transmission, and I've captured the bad guy! Plus there will be some explosions.

I opened it in a room with the light off last night and it seems fine, it's just come unattached from the actual canister thing it's meant to wind back into. If I hand it in to a photo place they should be able to open it in a dark room and sort it out. So maybe you'll get some photos early.

I was invited to the test centre which was at City University's Islington campus (there were also parallel test days in Manchester and Edinburgh the same day).

The test itself was a somewhat bizarre multiple choice examination biased heavily towards critical thinking. There were about 40 of us in the room, all with surnames staring with B.

As we left there were another 40 or so waiting to enter, presumably they were Carter, Cartwright, Connor et al.

Anyway, I didn't get in.

I later found out that at least 4 of my friends attended the test centre at various points. One of them later joined GCHQ and is now working for them in Baghdad.

It seems apparent that they don't actually have a very effective method of personnel selection as they keep hiring people who are engaged in homosexual affairs with Russian embassy staff, money grabbing traitors like David Shayler, married to prostitutes or just plain fuckwits who leave government laptops in strip clubs.