Life is what it is. The only official website of erotica writer Daria Black. An exploration of life, writing, and the space where the two interact.

Some People Suck and Some People Rock

Behold the light of Elendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out. [Galadriel – The Lord of the Rings]

I haven’t been feeling well for the past week. The weather changed so quickly here in Maryland that I caught a mild cold. Long before that happened, however, I had a member of my family tell me that my dream of having a home based business was stupid and that I needed to get a real job.
This came from someone who opinion I respected so of course it hurt my feelings. After feeling like pond scum for about two days, I shook it off determined to persist but a strange thing started to happen. Every time I would sit down to work, their words would come back to haunt me leaving me uninspired to do anything and I would end up aimlessly surfing the internet.

So I’m not getting any work done which is frustrating me and the frustration turns to a feeling of helplessness and the inevitable happens. I fall into a depression.

To help combat this, I decide to email my good friend, Katie, for an ego boost and as always she comes through for me (well, actually she and her husband). Therefore just for listening to my drama queen meltdown and assuring me that I have what it takes to be successful I give both Katie and Jim the best friend award.

For everyone else I offer you this advice. It doesn’t matter what your dreams are or what goals you are pursuing in life. You will always run into people who, for whatever reason, will attempt to be a roadblock on the path towards success. You job as the dreamer is two fold.

1. Treat your dreams as though they are the light of Elendil

In the movie, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Frodo is lead to a cave by Gollum, where a spider queen is laying in wait to gobble him up. At the entrance to the cave, Frodo senses trouble but goes in anyway and quickly comes to regret that lapse in good judgment. After stumbling around for awhile, he remembers the vial Lady Galadriel gave him and upon using it discovers the true danger he’s in. Lucky for him, the vial not only repels the beast but helps him find his way to a safe place away from it.

Not to get all mushy and metaphysical but your dreams are the light that guides you. Sometimes we get off track. Whether we are led there by people with suspicious motives or get lost all on our own, holding our goals up before us will often illuminate the dangers surrounding us.

For instance, the person that told me I needed to get a real job didn’t seem to understand that being an employee is not for everyone myself included. Among the other horrors of working for others, I get lulled into a false sense of security by that regular paycheck and don’t pursue my goals as hard as if I were completely dependant on myself and my own efforts. So to combat this because I do need to pay my car payment, I make sure to pick jobs that remind me every time I go to them why it is I’m pursuing the goal of having a home based business.

2. Surround yourself with people who believe in you

As I stated before, there will always be people who suck and who, for whatever reason will try to lead you astray. Therefore you need to surround yourself with people who rock and who will throw out the life preserver when they see you drowning.

To continue with the LOTR example, when Frodo makes it to the safe place he almost gives up on his journey. Lady Galadriel, however, reminds him of his destiny which serves to motivate him to continue on. He manages to make it to the exit of the cave but is surprised when the queen spider pounces and paralyzes him. For sure, it seems like Frodo is a goner but then his BFF Sam comes to rescue and saves him from certain doom by fighting and mortally wounding the spider.

Would your friends do that?

If so then you need to find as many like them as you possibly can and surround yourself with them like a shield because the world does not lack for Gollums or queen spiders or orcs.

Namaste

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15 thoughts on “Some People Suck and Some People Rock”

Daria, thank you so much for that wonderful award. It really touched my heart. I have complete faith in you and I know many also do. For example ms. karen. Sometimes it is hard to believe in yourself, especially when others try and set traps of “get a real job” and it then plays mind games on yourself. My family and some friends were making bets on how long Jim and would be married. Most thought it would only be 3 years. Well, now it is 23 years. I am so glad that you blogged about this as I think others go through it also. This blog is so wonderful and I love you using LOTR as examples here. WE LOVE all the LOTR movies, and I think tonight I will watch that particular one again.

Daria, you will be successful as you have the drive and that drive will just get better. It is kind of like practice. But the best think you have is talent, and with that talent you have your smarts. Remember that, and keep your dreams in front of you, no matter how long it takes.

Hello, a mutual friend of ours led me to come read your blog from RFN. It is truly fantastic, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I wanted to share this thought with you:

“Treat others as you want them to treat you”
-Luke 6:31

No matter what your business or career is, you can’t do it alone. The more success you have, the more likely it is that you will have other people on your “success team”. How you treat those people can make the difference in whether your business takes off or falls flat. You must treat them with honesty and integrity before you can expect them to treat you in the same way.

You can be great in all areas of building your business, have great desire, have a big dream, have a great attitude-and still fail if you don’t understand human nature.

You must believe in the goodness of people to be successful. Unfortunately most people don’t. Sadly most people have been hurt and cheated by so many people that they don’t believe that human beings have the potential to be good. Instead we think everyone is out to cheat me or take advantage of me. Stop thinking that way!!

You know, other people are pretty much just like you and me, that is very important to remember. Treating people good works. Just remember that inside every person is a winner who deserves to be treated as the most special individual on earth.

I had many people knock me down when I was building my business, I took it very personally at first, but I taught myself to allow all their negativity to motivate me and I never stopped believing in the goodness of people.
Believe me, I’m the one laughing now and they all want me help them.

As you may be aware, I am a self-proclaimed expert on stupidity. Never, ever place any weight on a criticism coming from anyone but those you absolutely love and who feel the same about you. And even then, question the validity. Stupid people are adept at criticizing because it keeps them from focusing on a self that is not in proper working order. But on the positive side, they appear in our lives for two reasons: first, to show you how not to behave, and secondly, to enable you to truly appreciate the authentic, wonderful people that you know, like your friend, Katie. I agree, kindness rules.
PS I could write a whole book on relative stupidity! In fact, I think I will!

You guys are great examples of people who rock! Thank you all so much for your support and votes of confidence.

@ Katie,

You are absolutely right. It does play with your head. It’s amazing how words have that power. However, that power can be used for good as evidenced by you and all of the wonderful people here.

That’s horrible that people were betting on your marriage. You should have added to the pool and that way you’d have won the pot and could spend the money on a nice cruise or something.

I love LOTR. It was a beautiful movie and well done. I have the extended versions which are only that much better.

@ Mauro

Thank you for your kind words. It is true that how you treat others always comes back to you which is why I always try to treat people kindly. I’m successful about 90% of the time. The other 10% can be found in the Nevada desert somewhere.

The experience has shown me that I just need to get a thicker skin as well as the fact that there are some great people in my life who do support me.

@ Jayne

Thanks Jayne. I appreciate that. Hope things are going well for you. I see you change the site again. You’re as bad as me (lol).

@ Keli

Stupid people are adept at criticizing because it keeps them from focusing on a self that is not in proper working order.

You are right about that. I respected this person’s opinion but I am suspicious about their ulterior motive. On one hand, they could have had only my best interests at heart but on the other hand it could be that they don’t want me to succeed because then they really wouldn’t have any excuse for their own failures.

“Treat your dreams as though they are the light of Elendil” Ohhh, I LOVE that!

You have so much talent, Daria, and I hate to see you get shot down like that. But I understand. We artistic types can be on top of the world one minute, firm in the belief of our talents and skills, then the one person we want to share all this joy with cocks and arrow and lets fly right into our balloon. We plummet to earth and it takes forever to reassemble the ego.

I can have readers tell me they love my writing, my mother can fawn all over it, my children fall down laughing, but all it takes is a lukewarm response from that man, and suddenly I’m just wasting my time and money on the computer. Might as well spend the day playing solitaire.

What’s with that??? He reads textbooks for FUN, of COURSE he’s not going to enjoy my offbeat style, and yet I keep trying and hoping that one day he’ll have a good laugh.

I’ve been in a downspin for the past week and it’s so hard to even want to do much of anything. At least I can get a few comments out to the important people in my life.

but all it takes is a lukewarm response from that man, and suddenly I’m just wasting my time and money on the computer

It really is amazing the power some people have over us. Sometimes they don’t even have to say anything. Sometimes all it takes is a look that leaves you feeling like you should just chuck your computer out the window for all the good it’s doing you.

You have so much talent Ms. Karen. Never forget that. And I certainly expect to see you on the New York Times best seller list the moment your book hits the bookstores. Unfortunately you are stuck with someone whom you have to prove that to before they will take you seriously. We really need to build up our own support group that will counteract all of the negative doubting people.

Oh I know. Whenever he gives you a look or a tone, imagine pulling his underwear over his head. At least you’ll get a laugh out of it.

well you know what is best for you and not others so stick to your guns and go for the gold girl 🙂
BTW I wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed your blog so much that I wrote a little post about it 🙂 I hope you don;t mind . Your layout still impresses me when I stop by 🙂 great work…
Terry

About Daria Black

I am currently retired from the Internet so, this blog is no longer being updated. If you need to contact me, please send me a message using this form. I'll receive a notification and get back to you as soon as I can.