*@?*$**!!!

Recently, I have had problems with the central-locking system on my car. These problems reached a head this morning. I couldn’t unlock the car from the driver’s side, so tried the lock on the passenger side. Rather than operate in the expected fashion, the locking system started to repeatedly lock and unlock the doors. In the past when this has happened, it has been possible to open the door by timing things just right. Not so this time!!!

I went back to the driver’s side, thinkinig a sharp tug on the door-handle might sort things out. But, no. The f***ing door handle came off in my hand!

By this point, it had started to rain and my car is not parked in a garage.

Back to the passenger side, where a well-timed, sharp tug on the door finally opened the car. A-ha, I thought, now all I have to do is reach across and open the driver’s door from the inside.

Life, of course, is not that simple. The driver’s door remained securely closed.

However, I was finally able to get in, climb across from the passenger side – ever mindful of the gearstick – and start the car.

In future, though, I think I’ll stick with coffee as a means of getting myself going in the morning…