It seems like yesterday that Toho ignited the collective fan flames across the globe with the announcement that they were making a Godzilla vs. Evangelion movie—and then heartily doused said flames again with the follow-up “April Fools!” sneer cheer. However, not all was lost for the hope-dashed toku otaku faithful, for, even though we did not get scenes of giant armored mutant men piloted by hormone-addled teens fighting our favorite nuclear menace, we did get loads of cross-promotional goodies and art to guzzle nerd-cash everywhere. I even plonked a couple bucks down for one of these shameless promo pastiches—the Baby Star Godzilla vs. Evangelion Box (ゴジラ対エヴァンゲリオン BOX) from our friends at the Oyatsu Company. And it’s ramen snacks again. For those of you keeping count, this is the third ramen-themed Godzilla snack I have reviewed here—this time two flavors—garlic and spicy chicken. If only they had a real Godzilla ramen restaurant, but I guess you have to go to Vancouver for that one. But, well, the actual snack is perhaps the least interesting aspect of this box…

First thing’s first, the snacks themselves. We got garlic ramen-flavoured munchies for Evangelion (probably in reference to vegetarian Rei Ayanami’s favored ramen flavor—garlic ramen sans pork), and spicy chicken for Godzilla (maybe because the third version of Godzilla in Godzilla Resurgence looks a little like a roasted chicken?). Predictably, my taste buds followed my fandom, and I preferred the spicy chicken, just as I prefer Godzilla to Evangelion, but neither flavour was offensive. The actual snacks are basically dry ramen noodles of the variety one might find in college dorms across the country, broken up as to be snacked upon by tots and otaku, and flavored with a bit more finesse than merely shaking the spices together. These seem to have their flavor cooked in.

But who cares about the actual snacks? Check out that fantastic art by Gundam and Ultraman artist Yuji Kaida!

Golly, Godzilla looks bold and brilliant and beastly, while the Eva Unit One is dashing about with a knife (seems unsafe) and recklessly unplugging himself in the process, which has just got to be bad for the connectors. I learned that the hard way with my vacuum sweeper—it sucks, or rather stops your vacuum from sucking. Anyway, I love the art, I love the logo, and—what’s this on the back?

That’s right, we have a sumo wrestling ring populated by popular kaiju and Evangelion characters on the back of the Godzilla vs. Evangelion Box! Sharp-eyed kaiju snack fans will doubtlessly recognise the art of the Toho menagerie as being the same used in the Lotteria vs. Shin Godzilla campaign. Naturally enough, the Toho kaiju collective is stationed to the east, and the Evangelion crew to the west (maybe Asuka Langley’s foreign blood clinched that one). At any rate, the reason we have such a colorful sumo ring is because the snack box doubles as the staging area for cardboard combat! Inside the box you can cut out little cardboard combatants—only Godzilla and Eva Unit One unfortunately. Then you can place said wood-pulp warriors on the sumo ring and tap-tap-tap-tap the box to make Godzilla and Unit One engage in ferocious hand-to-hand battle.

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Or maybe just watch the two monstrous fighters kind of bounce around for a few seconds before one of them spontaneously falls over before either fighter even touches the other. Given that in this case each wrestler actually has the brain of a block of wood you can’t expect much from the resulting clashes. As I tried banging away at the box with my thumbs, I found Godzilla to be the tipsier of the two and was quite dismayed to see him nosedive several times over with little provocation. Godzilla may be the king of the monsters, but he sucks at sumo.

Still, this cross-promotional artery-stuffer charms with its funny concept and fantastic art, and the snack itself, while far from glamorous, nevertheless pleased my palate. We may never see Godzilla actually engage in glorious combat against the Eva Units, but at least we have snacks like these to go head-to-head with our diet plans and come out victorious.​