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Friday, October 9, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ok, this is going to be toe-tally corny, but I'm doing it solely for the laughs.

Ready?

[pregnant pause]

Ta Da!

I get the impression you'd have to be a real heel to belly up to this baby shower cake. Eh?

Yep, the belly cakes just keep getting better and better, folks. I mean, sure, the headless, limbless preggo torso was undeniably appetizing for a while, but it's nice to see bakers reproducing some with a bit more kick, don't you think?

Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life.

Oh wow... just wow! How czan a cake be so technically right but still so wrong?!? I thank my lucky stars that I haven't been asked to do one of these monstrosities! If I ever do, I'll be sure to turn myself in to the Wreck Police! ;)

By the way, since I happen to be a book reviewer as well as a fan of your blog, I couldn't help posting a review once I was done reading through the book. Still hoping I can make it to the reschedule of the Bethesda signing!

I see feet sticking out of someone's back in that last cake. That is a seriously butt-like bosom! And the baby's feet are on the wrong sides. Ok, something positive...nice handwriting, and a lovely linea nigra (the dark line below the mother's torso's navel). How can there be that much detail on a headless woman!? I don't blame the bakery; I blame the weirdos ordering these monstrosities!

WV: vambila If you cut into these cakes you can see the vambila-cal cord.

Oooh catty! You have to admit the first one is really well executed, no matter what you think of belly cakes. Question: do you call the cake cutting a c-section? The backwards feet is just really too bad.

Actually .... the feet in the second cake look like they are positioned more correctly than the feet in the first. When in the fetal position, the legs are crossed. The feet in the first cake look like the baby is in a terribly awkward position, it would have to be some kind of knee-chin tuck with legs together. Either way, they are both totally disturbing.

Oh, my. So just replicating a pregnant torso with the head, neck, and limbs cut off was not enough; now we have to see the marks of four-toed fetuses that have somehow escaped from the womb and the amniotic sac and are sticking their feet through a herniated abdominal wall. And, as Anonymous points out, they're both in a delivery-defying breech position, and the second one seems to be executing some kind of cross-legged split.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

... Sorry, had to take a few breaths there to calm down. Maybe it's a cultural difference, but among my people, neither cannibalism nor display of dismembered human bodies are considered normal party games.

I believe those cakes were trying to copy this picture, which has been circling the internet for quite a while. Personally, I think it belongs on Photoshop Disasters. http://babybumpdiaries.com/images/baby-foot-pregnancy.jpg

Sorry, there is no way you could see that much detail of a baby's foot sticking up against the mother's tummy. It's just not possible. It does make for some creepy looking cakes though.

i'm i the only one fascinated by the second ones GIGUNDOUS BAZONGAS?! i swear on my piping tips i'm not a 13 year old boy. i swear. but- they're the same size- if not a little bigger- in "height" than the alleged tummy. I mean, I know they jump into action during pregnancy, but... those are like triple G's or something.

If I see feet like that come through my stomach in real life, I'm going to be creeped out. I don't know how mamas can look at these cakes and not feel a little nauseous. I bet they serve these tasty cakes very quickly.

As someone who is currently pregnant, these cakes (and the idea that you could ever see an imprint of feet in someone's stomach) have made me really glad that I always check Cake Wrecks *after* eating. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

Oh the second one has the right orientation for the feet! In the fetal position babies typically cross their legs, sometimes so much that the heel is almost on the opposite hip. Although these feet are turned bottom of the foot directly out which is a bit awkward, seems like the bottom of the foot should be at more of an angle...

I can't believe this... years ago I had a horrible dream that I looked down and my belly looked just like this, down to the unusually low number of toes. I'd almost blocked it out... must be a psychic decorator, unless that particular nightmare is more common than I thought :p

omg. is it wrong that i would have trouble cutting into a cake like that? I dont know. Oh man, for halloween they would definitely creep people out by putting a baby shaped cake INSIDE one of those cakes. aaaaaaarrrghh

When I was pregnant I had this extremely strange dream in which the baby's feet were pushing out the side of my belly. I tried to describe it to my husband at the time and couldn't really get the image across, but this first cake is EXACTLY what my dream looked like. I showed these pictures to my husband so he would understand. And for what it's worth, I found the dream rather disturbing, and the cakes even more so.

See, this is what happens when people don't get given proper sex education and learn about pregnancy from Stephanie Meyer books. Don't use a condom, baby full term in about about six weeks, it'll kick or chew its way out.

Ha, I love how these cakes make it look like the babies are busting right out of mama's belly! (Um, NOT!) Seriously, I had to consider whether these cakes were trying to depict a C-section...or what! Ick, no...this is sooo wrong...

On that first cake, the baby's feet are protruding so far out that my first thought was "Since when are babies born feet first, and from the side of the mother's belly?"

It was not until I saw the second tacky wreck that I realized it was supposed to be footprints. Of course that was after I managed to tear my eyes away from the emormous boobs, which look like those plain black bowling alley lane balls to me.

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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