Metta World Peace

Fantasy Championship! Some leagues have just wrapped up their finals and hopefully you’ve got a nice Shiva for your mantleplace. But in other leagues the championship has just begun or it’s the last week-and-a-half for roto.

With a lot of big name players (ahem! Dwyane Wade ahem!) not getting on the court, there’s going to be a ton of new fringe guys getting minutes. It’s been since Saturday since we’ve had a round-up, so let’s look at the weekend’s action (no games yesterday with the NCAA final):

So the season’s wrapping up, fantasy-wise, most of you should be in your last week of playoffs, or near it. I do trust you’ve had fun so far, I know I have. I wanted to leave with a Chris Rock-esque drop of the microphone, but I’m struggling to convey that through print. In addition, it really only works if you have built up to a high point, a crescendo, if you will, and I have been moving in the opposite direction really. Perhaps meekly putting the mike back to where I found it is more appropriate.

In actuality, I only got the opportunity to write for you, dear sports fan, due to a metaphoric injury, much like a prize fighter who gets subbed in for by a scrub at the last minute, because the headliner broke his hand. But the show must go on…

I will endeavor to continue to provide you, good reader, with the best advice your money can buy. And seeing as this is a free service, mitigate your expectations accordingly:

I want answers God Dammit!!! I had the night off from the strip club I’m now performing at, so my chicken and I decided to relax, share a “Steel Reserve” 40 ounce and view our favorite movies of 2012 receive countless accolades and awards. To our astonishment, all the epic films of 2012 were forgotten like Bow Wow’s rap career(and acting career). Silver Linings Playbook???? Mentally disable lovers??? Anyone recall The Other Sister? Talk about a knockoff. Don’t get me started on Les Miserables. Shouldn’ there be a separate award show, or category at least for musicals? For the love of God please!!!! Lincoln was so boring I switched over to porn 20 minutes in, though it did inspire me to go the interracial route. This gave me a new type of respect for the man John Wilkes Booth popped in trying to resurrect the confederate cause. What’s truly ironic about that situation is that Lincoln, no doubt bored out his gourd watching another God-awful musical, was probably wishing he was shot at that very moment, with little doubt for that reason being that he would never have to witness another musical again. Enough talk about these duds. Let’s get to Tehol Beddict’s winners.

In less than 19 minutes off the bench, Wilson Chandler scored 24 points, with 2 boards, 2 steals and a block. This was his best game since January 23, although it is weird that 3 days ago he had 10 rebounds (and 7 points) and yesterday saw a complete 180.

Surprisingly, Nate Robinson is only 20% owned in Yahoo leagues despite averaging 11 points, 2 threes, 4 assists and 2 steals over the past 2 weeks. Nate The Great has been back on the production chain train (now this next part makes (some) sense), choo-chooing his way to 19 points (3-5 from deep), 5 boards, 6 assists, and 5 steals in 42 minutes last night.

With Kyle Lowry and Andrea Bargnani out of the line-up due to injury concerns, Jose Calderon started for the Raptors and finished with a triple double (18 points, 10 rebounds, 14 assists), plus a block and a steal. Eventually, Lowry and Bargnani will come back and there will likely be no place left for Calderon besides the bench, but for me, Jose will always have some value.

Pau Gasol and the Lakers have had a train wreck of a season so far. Pau is seeing nearly all his numbers being below career average (12.6/8.9/3.5/0.5/1.2 with 42% FG and 76% FT) and having “knee tendinitis” to boot. As such, I had to move him down in the tiers because you can’t be a Victoria’s Secret model with those type of numbers.

In Kyrie Irving’s first game back from injury, he helped the Cavs beat the Lakers. Surprised? You shouldn’t be, because the Lakers stink right now. Now a confession… the headline was lying. Now are you surprised? Irving punished the Lakers going 28/6/11/1 with four 3PM and shooting 11-21 from the field.

Mike D’Antoni is basically the only coach I ever talk about, and it’s partly because of the mustache, partly because of his offensive style. Chris Duhon has become revitalized under his old coach’s system. Last night, he shot for 12 points with 11 assists, 5 rebounds and 4 of 5 from downtown.

Alexey Shved scored 17 points last night in Philadelphia making it three straight 15+ point games (17, 16, 17) in a row now. He chipped in 4 assists, 3 rebounds, 1 block, and hit four three pointers. Not too bad for a guy who’s just 15% owned in yahoo leagues.