When to Say No

By On January 26, 2017

I have been on quite a few dates over the years. There is a debate about when to say No to a date/guy. Should you say yes to every guy? Give a fair chance to everyone? Will it burn you out to always be saying Yes? When is the time to say No?

I mentioned before being nudged into a coffee date because I was being called out for judging this guy too quickly. I didn’t want to seem like a judgmental bitch to this stranger (why I would care is another post for another time) so I agreed to coffee. See, I knew I was right that this guy wasn’t a good match for me. That doesn’t make him a bad person or me a better one. It bugged me that I couldn’t say No. Actually I had already said No! It was when I originally said No that he called me judgmental and it’s really quite difficult to say No twice.

So we get coffee and he wasn’t the guy for me. We didn’t have much in common, we didn’t have any chemistry, things he considered fun were things that sounded like my personal nightmare. We were just too different and there wasn’t anything pushing us to make it work anyway. And you shouldn’t have to try to make it work with every person you meet. You’re allowed to be picky. You’re allowed to have standards.

I gotta admit, this post isn’t really for any of you. It’s for me. I’m here to tell myself that it’s okay to say No. It’s okay to stick to your guns. It’s okay to say No as many times as you want! Whenever you want!

You don’t want to go out on a date, don’t go. You like this guy but you don’t want to go back to his house yet, don’t. You went back to his house and the clothes are falling to the bedroom floor, You’re allowed to change your mind and say No. No matter where you are in the relationship or in the moment, you have the freedom and the right to say No. You don’t owe him anything. But you do owe it to yourself to stand up for yourself. Be your own Advocate. Be your own strength.