Scottish Model Gets Naked At Aussie Football Match, Fights Police

Email this to a friend

I’m not usually one to write about the goings on at Australian Rules football games, but sometimes things happen that require you to change your mind. In this case, it’s graphic nudity. This past weekend, Australia had its Grand Final match, which is allegedly the Australian version of the Super Bowl (albeit with a way lamer name). Not sure who won, but I’ll tell you this: anyone in or around Scottish model Heather McCartney’s luxury box got a W that day, because she got quite naked–and by “quite naked,” I mean all the way naked.

Now, there is some disagreement on exactly why she did this. She claims she lost a bet, and thus was obligated to remove all of her clothes. Others claim she was basically a paid stripper, there to entertain the guests of the box with her box. She’s referred to as a “model” in the article, but I can’t find any reference to her being an actual model other than in other articles about the incident. So, there’s a good chance she’s as much a model as I am a journalist. Either way, I’m not sure why everyone’s arguing about this, because ultimately, titties.

She was, of course, removed from the event, but not before she “kicked and punched police who tried to arrest her, attacking one with a high heel and biting another on the finger. ‘F—- off, I don’t have to tell you anything, you f—-ing retard,’ she yelled before hitting one officer in the face.” Nailed it.

Whatever the reason for her lack of clothes, I’m sure everyone was happy to be distracted from having to watch a fake version of football, the final score of which I was much too lazy to look up..

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.