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Fairfax has something it calls—I'm not kidding—its "doctorate program. She opened the cabinet. I considered asking her about the k and dental benefits. Don't all wives know? Fairfax Cryobank is to sperm banking what Citigroup is to real banking. Amanda led me to her office, a cozy room lined with wedding pictures and prints of sailing ships. Advertisement Inside, I hunted through the first-floor corridors, past the mysterious "microsort" room and "egg donor" facility, searching for the sperm-bank office. Only if I passed those would I qualify as a donor.

Then Ibored through the medical questionnaire: Please call us at The people who recruit donors are invariably women, and they are invariably good-looking. Exploring the "Nobel Prize sperm bank. I had apparently come in the wrong door. It was a painting of a woman from behind; she was wearing some diaphanous lingerie. At this point I am obliged to point out that Amanda was cute. Participation in the program is months, with donations made times per week. That semen had produced two healthy children! I answered, "Of course. It felt like the scene in the science fiction movie when the hero accidentally discovers the warehouse where the "friendly" aliens are freezing the millions of humans they have secretly kidnapped for their terrible experiments. We are not in stand-alone buildings labeled as a sperm bank. In the abstract, donating sperm had seemed fundamentally silly. Who knew what they were doing with my sperm? When I explained I was there to see Amanda about donating, she was chagrined. I wasn't supposed to be there. Amanda led me to her office, a cozy room lined with wedding pictures and prints of sailing ships. In tone,it felt like a job interview with human resources. An erotic print hung above the sofa. Its motility—how well it swims—would be tested and retested. A couple—not a young couple—was sitting there. It eliminated the embarrassment that men feel about masturbation by replacing it with tedium. In some cases, it might become apparent that the time investment is too great or that the process could be emotionally difficult. She led me next door to the lab, where three women in lab coats were chatting about their weekends while studying sperm samples under microscopes. If that were satisfactory, I would return for more semen analyses and a physical.

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How to Choose a Sperm Donor

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