I just don't understand people who read or take calls whilst they are having a poo. chances are you are getting poo fragments on your hands and therefore phones, books, magazines etc.

get in, lay cable, wipe, clean hands, then get back to whatever you are doing.

re wiping, if its a 'Roughage McCleanie" then I'm strictly a fold 2 sheets, one wipe north to south, and one more folded 2 sheets to polish of kind of guy. any more and it gets a bit gay.if its a Misclench up the sides job, then I do a couple of dabbers to take the worst of the clag off, then do a Up down left right folded pair to clean on each side, with one or two more to get the bum hairs clean.

but if its Guinness & Curry behemoth, I just use as many sheets as it takes, will get into double figures easily - and if I'm at someones house and I've sprayed their pan with my bum-mud, then I also use paper to get the bits of turd off the WC.

After uni I moved into a basement flat with my girlfriend at the time. The flat had on toilet that was attached to some kind of pump arrangement. She spent weeks stupidly flushing wipes down the toilet that she used for her make up.

Naturally the pump gave up and the whole bathroom flooded in shit at 3am on a Sunday that backed up from the sewer. Emergency plumber charged us plenty for that and it remains a pretty disturbing memory.

Wet wipes are useful if you shit all over the place like a baby - otherwise an environmental disaster. Hated by all the poor buggers who clean sewer drains and unable to be used by those with septic tanks.

After uni I moved into a basement flat with my girlfriend at the time. The flat had on toilet that was attached to some kind of pump arrangement. She spent weeks stupidly flushing wipes down the toilet that she used for her make up.

Naturally the pump gave up and the whole bathroom flooded in shit at 3am on a Sunday that backed up from the sewer. Emergency plumber charged us plenty for that and it remains a pretty disturbing memory.

At least I now know who was on his phone in the next cubicle. Dirty bastard.

Anyways, I tend not to have anything to poo with. i'ma front to back wiper and a recent wet wipe convert for less 'regular' poo's. Also at home I have got a squatty potty. Squatting is the natural way of pooing and healthier for your body.

At least I now know who was on his phone in the next cubicle. Dirty bastard.

Anyways, I tend not to have anything to poo with. i'ma front to back wiper and a recent wet wipe convert for less 'regular' poo's. Also at home I have got a squatty potty. Squatting is the natural way of pooing and healthier for your body.

At least I now know who was on his phone in the next cubicle. Dirty bastard.

Anyways, I tend not to have anything to poo with. i'ma front to back wiper and a recent wet wipe convert for less 'regular' poo's. Also at home I have got a squatty potty. Squatting is the natural way of pooing and healthier for your body.

A hole in the ground?

Um, well, what we are talking about in privy terms is the latest in front wall fresh air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below

At least I now know who was on his phone in the next cubicle. Dirty bastard.

Anyways, I tend not to have anything to poo with. i'ma front to back wiper and a recent wet wipe convert for less 'regular' poo's. Also at home I have got a squatty potty. Squatting is the natural way of pooing and healthier for your body.

A hole in the ground?

Um, well, what we are talking about in privy terms is the latest in front wall fresh air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below

At least I now know who was on his phone in the next cubicle. Dirty bastard.

Anyways, I tend not to have anything to poo with. i'ma front to back wiper and a recent wet wipe convert for less 'regular' poo's. Also at home I have got a squatty potty. Squatting is the natural way of pooing and healthier for your body.

A hole in the ground?

Um, well, what we are talking about in privy terms is the latest in front wall fresh air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below