What if I don’t want to be a proverbs 31 wife today?!?!

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 A wife of noble character who can find?She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband has full confidence in herand lacks nothing of value.12 She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life.13 She selects wool and flaxand works with eager hands.14 She is like the merchant ships,bringing her food from afar.15 She gets up while it is still night;she provides food for her familyand portions for her female servants.16 She considers a field and buys it;out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.17 She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for her tasks.18 She sees that her trading is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.19 In her hand she holds the distaffand grasps the spindle with her fingers.20 She opens her arms to the poorand extends her hands to the needy.21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;for all of them are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes coverings for her bed;she is clothed in fine linen and purple.23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.24 She makes linen garments and sells them,and supplies the merchants with sashes.25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom,and faithful instruction is on her tongue.27 She watches over the affairs of her householdand does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Ladies, not a single one of us hoped on board the marriage and mommy train without good intentions. If we were raised in the church, we probably knew a thing or two about Proverbs 31. We wanted to be Proverbs 31 wives. Or I mean, at least I did. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”, I mean, who wouldn’t want that right? What I didn’t realize was how exhausting achieving Proverbs 31 wife status truly is! It’s funny, because the chapter is brutally honest about the work it entails but it flows so beautifully that I pretty much only focused on the end part where my kids and my husband were going to think I was the bomb.com and love me and praise me and all that good stuff all the time!

The thing is, 99.99% of the time I’m the first one awake in the morning and the last one in bed at night. I don’t always make super terrific decisions because I have TOO MANY decisions to make daily! Where everyone needs to be and when, immunize my kids, don’t immunize my kids, buy organic, dairy is good, no, it’s really not, what should I put in their lunchbox? I open my arms to the poor, the wealthy, and everyone in between. So much so that I have nothing left for myself most days. I’m literally doing something for someone else daily. I don’t always speak with wisdom. Sometimes I speak downright foolish things. Idle time? What is that?!?!? My kids, they don’t always “arise and call me blessed”, my husband rarely “praises me”. Often my job is a thankless one. I don’t feel like I’m surpassing anyone or that I’m being honored by a single soul. That’s all okay, I don’t need recognition or a pat on the back very often. I do these things proudly and joyfully (most of the time). But somedays, SOME DAYS, I don’t want to be a Proverbs 31 wife, I don’t want to wake up before everyone else or stay up once everyone has gone to sleep because there’s still much to be done. Sometimes, I want some idle time. I think I deserve some idle time dangit!

The problem is, we’ve put so much pressure on ourselves to be the Proverbs 31 wife by taking care of everyone else that we completely neglect ourselves. You’re not going to be perfect, ever. You can’t do it ALL, everyday. It’s okay to sit down and prop your feet up sometimes. It’s totally okay for your husband to toss in a load of laundry or cook a meal occasionally. It’s okay to go through the drive through because you don’t feel like cooking! It’s okay to sleep in sometimes. You may not be the perfect wife and mother that you envisioned you would be, but you rock! You may not get a lot of public recognition for your efforts from your husband or children but, I assure you, they appreciate all you do for them. Take some time for you today if you just don’t feel like being a P31 wife. Go get your nails done ladies, take a load off! ❤