Extra Stuff

Friday, 31 December 2010

Yes, that's your lot for this year. Tomorrow dawns at some point but I would suggest we may be kicking off a little later than usual, if at all. It's been a glorious year and looking back we've had some huge highs and just the odd low to blight the altitude peaks, but whatever has happened is now in the past and we look forward to what 2011 will bring.

Have a super time tonight, party until the wee hours and let your hair down but always remember to drink sensibly and safely. Or some other nonsense like that.

See you all in the New Year and we'll be carrying on as before, have no fear. :o)

It seems Gordon Ramsay has not only fallen out with his in-laws but his hair is going the same way. It has bee reported that Ramsay has had a £30 000 hair transplant to go with his teeth whitening and Botox injections to flatten out his crinkly chin.

Which should make it easy for the next victim of his bullying, foul-mouthed tirade to have a simple come back; fuck off, baldy. What a big tart. :o)

Estonia is gearing up today for historic New Year's festivities to celebrate the tiny country becoming the first former Soviet republic to adopt the Euro. The currency changeover will officially start at midnight on 1st January, marking the beginning of the end of the Estonian Kroon and a final step in the Baltic state's efforts to become the 17th member of the Eurozone after achieving independence in 1991.

We wish them well but wonder if now is the best time to join the ailing currency? Only the passage of time will tell if it's a good decision and see if the Euro can recover. I hope so, as a unified currency is far easier for the casual traveller and so we'll keep our fingers crossed. That, and the fact we had such a marvellous time there when we last visited,

The big night approaches and this year everything will be different ... or will it?

The rigmarole of dressing up to go out in weather that laughs at anything not the colour of sludge. Why bother? The cold, cheerless journey that deep down you already know is not worth the hassle. Whose idea of a good time is this? Ticket prices so inflated they would make a Weimar German balk. Door queues long enough to feature as a traffic incident. The enforced jollity of a battery farm of party-goers, few of whom know each other well, let alone like each other. The Olympic sprint to get as drunk as possible (despite the extortion at the bar) before The Big Moment. And of course, the bit when everyone cheers the bongs of midnight, as if they carried any more real-life significance than any other midnight. Why do we do this? The alcohol-marinaded man who flails around for a hug before confidently laying down this nuanced judgment: "Next year cannot be any worse". (His forefathers predicted the same in 1065, or 1938.) The two hours wait for an Astra masquerading as a minicab. Giving up and accepting volatile (but inevitably seatless) transit on the prison-on-wheels they laughingly call the New Year's Eve nightbus. The silent totting up of how much this expedition has cost. And to what end? Running the gauntlet of still-stewed revellers on the road outside your house. The grey daylight peeping in through the curtains. The certain knowledge that a quiet night in with the radio would have been better spent. The solemn resolution that next year you will do just that.

From tomorrow (1 January, 2011) Italy's hundreds of thousands of retailers will be banned from giving their customers plastic bags.

The Italian government is thought to be the first in the EU to outlaw the use of polythene bags (although Ireland imposed a 0.15€ levy on them in 2002 that drastically cut their use) and as Italians are plastic bag addicts, who use a fifth of all the bags distributed in the EU, the ban will make a very real difference.

The hotel has been fully booked for the past few days and has even needed to turn potential guests and walk-ins away. Good for business and hopefully a sign of good things to come in 2011. I know the boss man is rather chuffed.

Khun Saeri has just popped up to see us and he was clutching two boxes which were very prettily wrapped in gift paper*. "A present for the New Year" he beamed as he handed the two boxes over to me.

My package contained a very smart smart/casual short sleeved shirt in a light green, which will do very nicely for the next formal-ish evening out and wifey has a lovely red top, both quite probably chosen by the insightful Mrs S.

Many thanks once again and we're rapidly running out of space to store things. :o)

*Even the paper matched- I had green and wifey had red to suit the presents inside.

I thought perhaps, maybe Air Asia have sorted out their website for on-line bookings after recently having successfully picked up a few flights. Erm, no.

The site is just as piss poor as before and once again we have been kicked out and now blocked. No doubt it will take several days before we can pursue our access and by then prices will probably have risen. (We figured if we book before the new year it may be cheaper.)

Anyway, we are currently stuck in KL after flying in from Colombo, Sri Lanka and need to get to Bangkok and then we need a return trip to Siem Reap (via Phnom Penh) to meet up with Duncan before our final two month stint in Thailand.

Bloody bollocks is what I say to their rubbish site- although luckily it is a completely different situation with their flights and services in person.

Michael Cox launched the tactics-porn site last January and says "it was inspired by [Jonathan Wilson's] Inverting The Pyramid and the standard of punditry on British television, in very different ways". Disclaimer: the good man himself writes a chalkboards column for this parish every Monday. twitter.com/Zonal_Marking

(Dr) John Beech "offers commentary on current (and, to a much lesser extent, historic) issues in the management of English clubs and, as appropriate, the governance of the clubs and leagues". It's well worth digging into. twitter.com/johnbeech

One of the best designed blogs on the list, this is "a blog about the wonder and terror of soccer". That tells you where the blog is based, but it covers far more than just MLS. Here are just two examples why you should read it. twitter.com/runofplay

If you can look beyond the big plug from the Guardian on its homepage standfirst, you'll find the thoroughly enjoyable writing of Danny Last and friends as they make their way around the continent, from FC United to FC Copenhagen. twitter.com/dannylast

Another blog with a fine podcast, "the opinions here range from the extremely cynical to the gloriously bright-eyed, from Premier League title race excitement to bitter non-league conversion". twitter.com/twofootedtackle

Andrew Gibney covers a range of European football topics (with a special love for Ligue 1) as well as producing a weekly podcast. As the man himself says: "Gibfootballshow is my mistress and she speaks French." twitter.com/gibfootballshow

Straight outta Denmark, "aiming to strengthen the basic ethical values of sport and encourage democracy, transparency and freedom of expression in world sport." What's not to like? twitter.com/playthegame_org

A quick glance at the tag cloud on this blog front page gives you a fair clue as to what to predominantly expect here: tactics, Serie A, Premier League and South American analysis. twitter.com/rcammisola

You may have already come across Richard Whittall at Pitch Invasion (including his fascinating 'football, blogs and newspapers unite?' series), but here he focuses predominantly on MLS, as well as other subjects. twitter.com/RWhittall

"Two football-loving university graduates, sick of dire journalism and average football blogs online, team up to bring a fresh look at the world of football." It's what they'd want written here. twitter.com/upper90magazine

Primarily focused on breaking down the Glazers' work at Old Trafford, this just makes the list due to interesting pieces on other clubs' debts and finances, among them Spurs and Barcelona. twitter.com/andersred

Savong School is located in Bakong District, part of Siem Reap province which despite the tourism boom based around Angkor Wat remains the second poorest province out of 24 in all Cambodia.
What do they use for lighting and cooking? In the west we take household energy for granted, that‟s for sure. Electricity is there at the flick of a switch. It is relatively cheap. But in rural Cambodia the fuel and energy needed for cooking, lighting or other household appliances is a really expensive component of the household budget.
The figures for household lighting tell some of the story. In Cambodia, outside the cities, just 8% of home lighting is powered from the national grid. By contrast 17% is battery powered—and a typical system is for a village to have one businessperson making a living by charging car batteries and for households to swap charged batteries for their discharged batteries, for a dollar or two.
Meanwhile 70% of households use kerosene lamps for lighting.
Cooking is the big user of fuel however, and in Siem Reap 93% of households use firewood for cooking. A small percentage use charcoal. This is expensive, and increasingly so, and wood is going to be in increasingly short supply in years to come.
Vietnam has faced a similar crisis and one increasingly used option is the development of bio-gas generators, using animal manure. Tens of thousands of these units—cess pits with a domed „collector‟ have been installed successfully. So far there does not appear to be a similar program in Cambodia. Another solution is to install wood stoves with a much more efficient design - and again, initiatives along this line are apparent in Africa, but not so far in Cambodia.

Power to the children. Many thanks to fund raising efforts from a Singapore school, the SOC now has a solar converter installed. These are extremely useful in Cambodia—turning bounteous sunshine into 12v electricity via batteries which are used to power TV sets, radios, or charge up laptops and mo-bile phones. No-tech to Hi-tech in one single jump.

Fish and Chicken. Meanwhile with the second fishpond com-pleted, also courtesy of the Singapore students, the next step is a chicken farm. A Tasmanian community (Newstead College) has raised money for this project which again enhances the capacity for the SOC to be more self-sufficient in terms of food. Work on the fencing begins in early January.

Communication improvements. We‟re getting more systematic with communications and while this newsletter will continue—out every couple of months, sponsors of children at SOC will get quarterly statements giving progress on each child. Elsewhere, to facilitate a smoother volunteer experience and avoid peak-time clashes, we‟ve added a Volunteer Bookings Calendar to the web-site so you can check ahead.

The zone around Siem Reap and Angkor Wat is largely gov-erned by a regional authority: the Apsara Authority and until recently it has taken a fairly hands-off approach to such issues as building permits. Where in the UK, USA or here in my little country - New Zealand - it might take weeks or even months to get permission to build a house or even make additions, in Siem Reap we‟ve experienced no such hassle. The school went up with scarcely any intervention, and so did the library and the SOC buildings.
But this year the Apsara authority has been flexing its muscle. One of its mandates is to ensure that the traditional character of the region is being preserved and this causes real difficulties for locals. If you want to build a new rural house, then in theory it has be traditional in style—made of native hardwoods and con-structed on stilts. Of course there‟s another law which says you are not allow to fell traditional hardwood timbers, and the pen-alty for getting caught is extremely steep. You are fined, your timber is confiscated and if its on a truck, then the truck is con-fiscated as well. So herein lies the riddle: how do the people of Siem Reap region make progress?
This year Savong encountered the problem three times. The first was during the construction of the medical centre when the authority delayed the work unexpectedly. Four weeks ago dur-ing the rainy season, Savong decided to put in a few concrete slabs as raised paving so the kids could avoid getting muddy. Again the authority came in and halted progress: this time de-manding that all concrete and bricks be removed or else these would be confiscated. It took a meeting between Savong, the Authority and the local police to come to a suitable agreement. Most recently, plans to build the fence for the new chicken run have had to be modified. Fences are usually started with a base layer of bricks to stop sand and soil erosion—but not this time: the Authority has deemed that the fence have no brickwork.

While Savong finds these things frustrating, I‟m glad at these times that he‟s there to navi-gate the problems and find solutions. This is where overseas-run NGOs can sometimes run into real grief—tangling with a changing bureaucratic landscape.
There are other difficulties in the neighbourhood from time to time, and these are not bureaucratic. Last week a small group of unemployed boys—they‟re referred to as gangsters—were har-assing students as they spilled out into the night-time after class. One evening a fight broke out, with these boys attacking some of the students.
The teachers were quickly onto the scene, Sopheak phoning the police who have an office just a few hundred metres away. They broke up the fight and at three of the gangsters was later apprehended.
Now here comes the tricky part. What would you do? On Savong‟s say-so the police offered to send the gangsters to jail for a year. (Justice, such as it is, is swift in Cambodia.) It would be Savong‟s decision the police said.
I spoke to Savong about this decision and he wasn‟t sure what to do—to offer some kind of restorative solution or to take a hard line. He told me: “Whatever I do, it must be seen by my students to be the right thing.” So on that basis he went to dis-cuss the options with the students who were affected.
In the end Savong met up with the gangsters and their families at the police station and in light of their ages (around 20, 21) Savong gave the offenders a second chance even while the po-liceman (whom I‟ve met—a genial man) played “bad cop” and urged jail. The meeting had its effect, and we frankly doubt if the gangsters will be trouble again. Again, Savong was adept at navigating the local system.

All the following articles/posts can be found on the main website (Savong) and have been lovingly crafted by Duncan, our amiable Kiwi pal who continues to burn the candle at both ends with full time work and helping enormously with the school/orphanage. See you in Siem Reap in April/May of 2011, mate, first round is on us.

Well, 2010 is all wrapped up and it has been a monumental year for Savong‟s project. During the last 12 months the school has experienced record attendance, four senior stu-dents have been granted uni-versity scholarships, the num-ber of children in care of the Savong orphan Centre (SOC) has increased to 35, the SOC has a more sustainable food supply thanks to the new fish ponds and vegetable gardens, and the centre has introduced two community schemes—one in the form of sewing classes for local women, and the sec-ond in the form of a health clinic which provides free medical diagnosis and care for the local community.

The growth has been matched, mostly, by an expanding support base for the project with an increased number of volunteers and individual sponsors, as well as sig-nificant fund-raising initiatives in Canada, the USA, Australia and New Zealand—each making a timely difference.

All growth comes with a few pangs and two issues include Savong‟s sheer busy-ness (he‟s stretched too thin) and consequently inconsistent communication with arriving vol-unteers.

Another issue—increasing and fairly unhelpful pressure from the local Apsara authority who are placing real restrictions on new building, paving and fencing work.

Cha Senh, one of the boys at the SOC cools down at Kulen Mountains waterfalls. The children have been on a number of whole-day excursions this year and these greatly enrich their experience as a group.

Why do Germans call New Year's Eve Silvester? And what's with all the mustard-filled doughnuts, firecrackers, and melted lead? The Local has the low-down.

No your friend isn't planning to ring in the New Year with someone named Sylvester instead of you. Silvester is the German name for New Year's Eve – owing to the fourth century Pope Sylvester I. Eventually made a saint by the Catholic Church, his feast day is observed on December 31.

St. Sylvester’s day became associated with New Year's Eve with the reform of the Gregorian calendar in 1582, when the last day of the year was fixed at December 31. But despite the holiday's Christian name, many German New Year's traditions can be traced back to the pagan Rauhnächte practices of heathen Germanic tribes, which took place at the end of December and beginning of January.

Instead of recognizing a single day as the winter solstice, the Germanic tribes observed twelve Rauhnächte – hairy nights, so called due to the furry forms of the deep winter demons – or Rauchnächte – smoky nights, due to the practice of smoking the spirits out of one’s house on January 5. Bringing very little sun to the northern regions, the twelve Rauhnächte were considered days outside of time, when the solar and lunar years were allowed to re-synchronise. Silvester took place right in the middle of the twelve Rauhnächte

As in many other countries, the Germans celebrate and was the night of the god Wotan’s wild hunt, a time of particular commotion and celebration. Silvester with fireworks, champagne, and boisterous social gatherings. Making noise is key: the ruckus of fireworks, firecrackers, drums, whip-cracking and banging kitchen utensils has been driving away evil winter spirits since the days of the Germanic Teutons. One of the most famous German firework displays takes place at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. Private celebrations with Böllern

Besides being a fun spectacle, the light of pyrotechnic displays also provides a surrogate sun during the dark (firecrackers) are also common. Silvester night. Suffering the winter bleakness in their northern regions more than anyone, the Teutons feared that the sun, which they thought of as a wheel that rolled around the earth, was slowing to a stop during the darkest days of winter. Perhaps as a sign of protest, they lit wooden wheels on fire and sent them rolling down mountains and clubbed trees with flaming cudgels. These practices are likely forerunners to the Silvester firework tradition.

The belief that the sun was slowing to a stop also led to the German tradition of doing no work on New Year’s Eve: everything should stand just as still on earth. Above all no one should do any laundry, because the god Wotan made his rounds with his army of devils for a wild hunt during Silvester and would be terribly angry if he got caught in any clotheslines.

Because the twelve Rauhnächte – now associated with the twelve days of Christmas made famous by the partridge in a pear tree – were days outside of time, all manner of supernatural events were possible. Spirits of all sorts charged through the night, either embodying the horror of winter or chasing it away. These figures still emerge in the Perchtenläufen of the Alpine areas of Germany, when troll-like forms cavort about with bells to drive away winter. Perchtenläufen take place in different Alpine cities between Advent and January 5, the last of the Rauhnächte.

The Rauhnächte were also a time when the future for the New Year could be divined. Silvester in Germany still calls for oracle traditions, which often take the form of party games. Bleigießen (lead pouring) is the most popular Silvester fortune-telling tradition. Party-goers melt small lead forms with a candle in an old spoon and pour them into cold water. The lead hardens into a shape that supposedly bears a certain meaning for the New Year. An eagle, for example, indicates career success, while a flower foretells that new friendships will develop.

Other oracle traditions on Silvester include swinging a pendulous object, such as a necklace or watch, and asking it a yes-or-no question. If the pendulum swings in a circle, the answer is “yes,” if it swings vertically, the answer is “no,” and if it swings horizontally, the answer is uncertain. Bibelstechen involves opening the Bible to a random page, closing one’s eyes and pointing to a random verse. The verse should provide some information or advice for the coming year.

Those who stay home on Silvester in Germany are likely to be watching the 1963 TV recording of the British comedy sketch “Dinner for one”. The programme is an indispensable German New Year's tradition since 1972 and holds the Guinness record for being the most frequently repeated TV show in history.

Anyone in front of the telly will probably be wolfing down jelly doughnuts too. But watch out! At some point some Teutonic jokester thought it would be funny to put mustard in one or two of the Pfannkuchen as a funny surprise for his New Year's party guests.

For those who go out on Silvester, good luck charms and New Year’s greetings are often exchanged. Acquaintances may give good luck charms to each other in the form of ladybugs, four-leaf clovers, horseshoes and pigs. The phrase Guten Rutsch! is another common Silvester greeting. While many Germans now use it to wish someone a good “slide” into the new year, the word Rutsch more likely comes from the Yiddish word Rosch

So to have a – which means beginning or head. Guten Rutsch! is simply to have a good start to the New Year!

Nearly, as we fly out on the 20th for a night at the Tune hotel at KL and then land in India on the 21st January. Very much looking forward to seeing what this massive country will have in store for us, although leaving BKK will be a wrench. Still, ktelontour means we have to do some travelling and so we'll be hitching up the rucksacks and heading into our next adventure.

And we'll be meeting up with Shaz & Dave, whom we haven't seen in fully two years. Now that will be fun.

We handed out a few small gifts to the hotel staff on Christmas Eve and I think everyone appreciated our quaint "Christian" custom. However, the guys don't seem to understand that just because we did so they are obliged to reciprocate. Since then we have received all kinds of wonderful presents from luxury soap, to exotic fruit baskets and to traditional good luck desserts, which are given to encourage good health, wealth and happiness.

OK, they are intended as New Year's gifts but the point remains, those that have the least offer the most and we are truly touched at the generosity. The Imm Fusion Hotel, where we live for half of the year and proudly call the staff our friends- which takes care of the "happiness" part.

Wifey's hand is responding to the physio exercises which is slow and painful but heading in the right direction, so we have the "health" issue sorted (almost). So that just leaves the "wealth" bit.

Ah yes, as they say "two out of three ain't bad"- and with the Baht now closing down onto 45 to the pound, it looks like that one will be eluding us. *sigh*

Motorists face sharp increases in petrol prices in the new year as two tax rises coincide with an increase in the cost of oil, motoring groups have warned.

Increases to VAT and fuel duty will come into force next Tuesday (4th January, 2011), which will mean a typical family with two cars (how quaint, this is now the norm) will find its annual petrol costs rise by £104 to more than £1 700, according to the AA.

Oil prices in New York yesterday increased to more than $93 a barrel and with freezing conditions affecting America and mainland Europe, experts predict a barrel of oil could soon pass the $100 mark.

The Conservatives previously pledged to introduce a “fuel duty stabiliser” to cut taxes on petrol when oil prices are high, however, Cameraman has failed to introduce the policy and ministers are now likely to come under pressure to offer help to motorists.

Analysis by the Civil Aviation Authority shows that international business travel to and from the UK fell by 4.6% in 2008 and 22.2% in 2009, with a further slide in the first half of 2010.

Hardest hit in 2009 were routes between the UK and European Union, where volumes declined by 25%, and between the UK and North America (down 20%). Both regions were particularly hurt by the crisis in the financial services industry, which saw a sharp fall in the numbers of bankers flying.

While the latest data shows a recent pick-up in business travel with global economic recovery, the first half of 2010 remained 28% below 2008's level- though a contributory factor was the closure of European airspace due to Icelandic volcano disruption.

I'm sure the enforced closure of UK's airports due to snow won't have helped the figures and increased APD is also another contributing factor to lament. Still, what do I care about business travel- we do budget by the bucketful.

Being nice to your boss won't get you a pay rise according to a new study, which showed that only aggressive negotiators get what they want.

Researchers found the most effective strategies for securing a bigger salary were to be assertive and “not take no for an answer”. Workers who initiated pay negotiations and pursued a raise aggressively had the most success, the study found.

Employees who had “done their homework” in advance of negotiations also earned themselves more holidays and perks such as mobile phones and company cars, but more risk-averse employees, who compromised in the hope of not souring relationships, fared the worst as they eventually caved to management wishes.

Almost 750 000 welfare claimants refused to work or gave up jobs to claim benefits, new figures have revealed.

Ministers said the data from the Department for Work and Pensions, suggest that over the past decade, thousands of people have attempted to “play the system” and avoid work. The figures show that over the last decade, 744 000 people were “sanctioned” and had their benefits reduced for refusing to comply with rules meant to push them towards employment.

About 177 000 people receiving Jobseeker’s Allowance refused jobs they were offered and another 444 000 left jobs voluntarily and made a claim for Jobseeker’s Allowance. A further 123 000 people faced sanctions when claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance after losing their job through misconduct.

Under previous rules, people refusing work or leaving employment without good reason faced “variable length sanctions,” having their benefits cut for between 1 and 26 weeks.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is France's most irritating celebrity, according to a new poll.

The Italian-born singer-model came top of a list of "personalities you want to smack" published by the French magazine VSD, with a slap-rating of 52%. Behind her came the actors Alain Delon and Gerard Depardieu and footballer Eric Cantona.

According to VSD, Bruni-Sarkozy's fall from grace is partly due to her "grande bourgeoise" lifestyle and partly to an antimonarchical "Marie-Antoinette" syndrome among the French public. The president's wife is most unpopular among other women.

Funny, I'd have put her in second place- her husband is well worth lamping.

Bobby Farrell, the frontman of the 1970s disco group Boney M, died on the same day as Rasputin- the subject of one his biggest hits.

Farrell, just 61, had performed in St Petersburg midweek but had complained of breathing problems before and after his show, according to his agent. Staff at his hotel discovered him after he failed to answer a wake-up call. Coincidentally, the date of his death, 29th December, was the same as Grigori Rasputin, the infamous Russian mystic who was an adviser of the Russian Tsar Nicholas II and his wife Alexandra, who died in 1916.

Rasputin was the name of a 1978 Boney M hit, reaching number two in the British charts.

Councils across the UK wrote off thousands of parking tickets worth millions of pounds in the last two years as they cannot trace drivers of foreign-registered vehicles to which they have been issued.

A range of 20 councils and Plod Farces across the UK which had passenger and freight ferry terminals, ports and other major transport hubs near or in their area responded to a Freedom of Information request. Among the highest value of tickets written off were areas including London, Portsmouth, Newcastle and Edinburgh.

Bearded Woman Finds Son: Vivian Wheeler was born with hypertrichosis (werewolf syndrome) and as a hermaphrodite (both male and female reproductive organs) and was told she couldn’t have children. But at 29, she gave birth to a boy, who was promptly taken away from her by her boyfriend and put up for adoption. In 2010, after years of searching, Richard Lorenc found his mother and they were re-united.

Ripley the Dog: The living, breathing big pile of fur found in a ditch in Houma, La., turned out to be a one-year-old poodle. As he was being shaved, the vet decided to name the pooch Ripley, because “Believe It or Not!, there is a dog under here.” The before and after photos garnered world-wide attention and less than 6 weeks after being discovered, Ripley was well enough to be adopted. Believe It or Not!

Longest High School Football Game Ever: A high-school football game in Texas turned into an endurance battle as Jacksonville beat Nacogdoches in 12 overtimes, 84-81, breaking the old record of nine extra frames. The game ended at 12:54 a.m., after the young boys battled for more than five hours.

Spray-on Clothes: Forget about all the medical breakthroughs in 2010, for surely it will become known as the year that scientists developed an instant, sprayable, non-woven fabric that can be sprayed onto a nude body to form clothes that not only cover, but can be taken off, washed, and worn again.

Deep Fried Beer: In a competition at the Texas State Fair, Mark Zable unveiled Fried Beer. In a patented process, he puts beer into a doughy pocket and deep fries it. The quick fry hardens the crust, but the beer remains a fully potent brew. Those who sampled it were carded!

Dead Body in a Car for 10 Months: Shortly after a homeless woman in California was befriended by a motorist, she died unexpectedly. The driver, not knowing what to do with the body, drove it around for 10 months, next to a box of baking soda to help negate the smell. The corpse was discovered by police who smelled the stench, looked in the car and saw a leg poking out from under a pile of clothes.

Man Shot in Head Finds out 5 Years Later: A man living in Germany walked around and functioned normally for five years without noticing he had been shot in the head. The .22 caliber bullet was found when the man went to the doctor to have what he thought was a cyst removed. All he could remember was that it probably happened in 2005 at a New Year’s Eve Party and that he was “very drunk.”

Dog Chews off Man’s Toe: A 48-year-old Michigan man credited his dog Kiko with saving his life by chewing off his diseased big toe as he lay passed out in a drunken daze. The terrier gnawed off his right big toe which turned out to be badly infected due to Type 2 Diabetes. The dog ate off the diseased tissue and left the rest untouched.

Woman Tries to be the Fattest: A 42-year old, mother of two wants to become the world's heaviest living woman. Donna Simpson currently weighs more than 600 pounds and her desire is to top 1,000 pounds. She works as a model on a website called supersizedbombshells.com, where the curious pay to watch videos of her eating or walking. She spends nearly $750 per month in groceries for herself and admits that she is as hungry for attention as she is for the junk food she eats every day.

Cat Predicts Death: Oscar the cat lives at a nursing and rehabilitation center in Providence, R.I. He roams the halls, is generally unsociable, and spends little time with anyone who has more than a few hours to live. He rarely errs in his predictions and this year extended his predicting streak to 50. He senses death and cuddles with the elderly patients until they pass.

Only one in ten Brits is currently in the career they dreamed of as a child, it has been found. More than nine out of ten admit they are "totally dissatisfied" with their current job and would "quit tomorrow" if they had the chance.

Nearly two-thirds still harbour ambitions of pursuing their childhood dreams, with the majority having done so for more than ten years, but a lack of contacts, courage and confidence means less than a fifth of the UK workforce has taken active steps towards making a career change.

Scientists working at Amazon have developed a new technology which they claim could mean the end of unwanted presents. The on-line retailer has been granted a patent for a "gift conversion" system which allows users to swap dodgy presents before they even arrive.

It's said the system would allow users to "blacklist" friends and family who frequently give bad gifts and set "rules" for their presents. This could be an automated exchange for another item, a different clothing size or gift vouchers.

During a Greek second-division match against Levadiakos, Veria FC found themselves in front of goal with a clear chance of scoring, but within just 11 they'd missed five sitters, each of which should have ended with the ball in the back of the net. To compound matters, they lost the game 0-1. :o)

After TUC general secretary Brendan Barber’s claimed that 2011 will be ‘horrible’ and will see cuts in jobs and real cuts in living standards, tickets sales for this years TUC New Year’s Eve party have fallen away dramatically.

Barber insisted that celebrating the dawn of 2011 would be another example of ‘the bourgeoisie using the blood of the workers to oil the wheels of capitalism’.

Organisers of the event have tried to play down Mr Barber’s claims by insisting it will be ‘a really fun party with some great entertainment and a disco after,’ but New Year’s Eve revellers seem reluctant to buy tickets in the fear that the party might serve to highlight the patriarchal hegemony inherent in the system.

“Just because 2011 has all the signs of being a truly miserable year for vast numbers of the population, that doesn’t mean that we can’t celebrate,” insisted party organiser Jenny Scott.

“Everyone needs to let their hair down once in a while regardless of whether they are shackled by the ruling classes.”

The Public and Commercial Services Union’s New Year Hootenanny has also experienced poor ticket sales after leader Mark Serwotka insisted that anyone letting off a party popper on New Years Eve should be shot.

“Wearing fancy dress or inhaling helium from a balloon so your voice goes squeaky is playing into the hands of this government.”

“We must stand firm and show them that we mean business, and you can’t project that if you’re eating brie and cranberry parcels and dancing to the Ultimate Disco Party Mix.” he urged.

As the latest government figures showed that one in five people will live to be 100, post offices have begun preparing for exponential growth in their queues at locations around the country.

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) said its figures suggested 10 million people – 17% of the population – would become centenarians, causing chaos at Post Offices, and forcing the Queen to outsource centurion birthday card production to the lowest Philippine bidder.

A Post Office spokesperson told reporters, “We are embarking on a twenty-year building programme which will provide sufficient queuing areas around all Post Offices for the thousands of doddery old dears who need a second class stamp but don’t trust the dispensing machines.”

“If we do nothing, in a few years we could face scenes at every post office reminiscent of the queues at a Twilight premier, except it will reek of the piss from old women being a bit racist instead of over-excited teenage girls.”

An ageing population is the largest concern for many economists, who claim that unless you can find a way for a deeply-unpleasant ninety year-old woman to be productive, the future economy is absolutely screwed.

Economist William Matthews told us, “If we could somehow harness the energy created when a group of old people get together to moan about young people, then perhaps we could solve the global energy crisis overnight.”

“As it is, old people will significantly outnumber teenagers in the coming years, raising the terrifying spectre of gangs of old people roaming the streets, intimidating the rest of us, and scavenging for whatever they can find to top up their meagre pensions.”

“Or we could just take a long hard look at Logan’s Run and realise they had the right idea after all.”

From WikiLeaks and the Afghanistan War to volcanos and earthquakes, 2010 had them all- according to global post:

1) WikiLeaks— The end of secrets. WikiLeaks is a game-changer that highlights the potency of the internet.
Like it or not — like Julian Assange or not — WikiLeaks has changed the nature of confidential information, especially government documents. No government, corporation, army, diplomat, celebrity or anyone else can be absolutely sure that what they write, video or photograph will not be made public on the web.

Assange started off 2010 by releasing a riveting, unsettling video of a U.S. helicopter gunship attacking suspected Iraqi insurgents which turned out to be unarmed Iraqi civilians and two Reuters cameramen.
WikiLeaks ended the year with the mega-release of 250,000 U.S. State Department cables and Pentagon documents that had an impact in every corner of the world. Add to that the ongoing drama of the sexual misconduct charges against Assange, the attempts to shut down WikiLeaks and the hackers’ revenge — and you’ve got the story of the year.

3) EU financial crisis — The euro started off 2010 as a stable and highly valued international currency. Then the Greece debt crisis showed the weakness of the loose economic system allowing each country to run up its own deficits and balance its book — or not. We learned about the PIIGS — Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece and Spain — all countries with economies so highly indebted that they would need to be bailed out. Germany came to the rescue of Greece, but can it carry all the other countries? This story continues.

4) Haiti earthquake — The cataclysmic earthquake shot Haiti to the top of the world news on Jan. 12. More than most natural disasters, the quake exposed the extent of Haiti’s dysfunctional government, poverty and lack of basic infrastructure. The outbreak of cholera and the chaotic elections kept the Caribbean nation in the headlines but no solution to the country's misery appeared.

5) North Korea — The world’s bogeyman, Kim Jong Il, was in fading health and prepared a successor, a previously little-known son, Kim Jong Un. But to take over the reins he had to show the world he is as frightening a wild card as his father. The sinking of a South Korean warship and the shelling of a border island followed. North Korea's nuclear program worried neighbors and distant countries alike. North Korea looked belligerent and unstable. South Korea and the United States scrambled to find a strategy to contain North Korea, without much luck. China appeared not to know what to do with its loose cannon ally.

6) Iraq— The United States forces withdrew some 90,000 combat troops from Iraq by Aug. 30 but that was not the end of the story. Iraq continues to be a turbulent cauldron of violence and instability. More than 4,400 U.S. troops were killed in the Iraq War and at least 100,000 Iraqi civilians. The March 7 election resulted in an unwieldy government not fully in control, as ethnic and Islamic rivalries exploded into violence. The Christian minority was a target of bombings. Ordinary Iraqis cannot see when the country will enjoy stability and prosperity. And the United States still has 49,000 troops in Iraq who are to be pulled out by the end of 2011.
The Iraq story is not over. Not by a long shot.

7) World Cup — Vuvuzelas, great soccer, Nelson Mandela, striking stadiums, Shakira. South Africa’s success in holding a festive World Cup was perhaps more noteworthy than Spain’s 1-0 victory over the Netherlands in the final on July 11. Despite the dire predictions of many doomsayers, the tournament took place without any major incidents of crime or violence. It was an exhilarating success not just for South Africa but for the entire African continent. There were countless gripping matches and scores of glorious goals. And who can forget the prescient predictions of the late, great Paul the octopus? This was the best good news story to lighten up 2010.

8) Pakistan floods — The floods that swept through Pakistan put approximately one-fifth of the country underwater and made a staggering 20 million people homeless. The devastation — estimated to cost $43 billion — and the human suffering highlighted Pakistan’s precarious state. Widespread corruption prevented effective government action. Add to that Pakistan was in an undeclared civil war against insurgents who made the border with Afghanistan uncontrollable. Terrorist violence broke out across the country. Pakistan received just one-fifth of the aid requested by the United Nations and is still recovering from the floods. It shows little progress in resolving the corruption. The floods highlighted that Pakistan is a weak, uncertain ally for the United States.

9) Mexico’s drug war — Pitched battles between Mexican army and drug gangs. Attacks on police stations by drug runners. Bodies disintegrated in vats of acid. Decapitated heads in refrigerators. Underground tunnels between Mexico and the United States. Mexico's drug war threatened to rage out of control along the border with the U.S. The lawlessness jeopardized the Mexican government but it also pointed to a deep, continuing problem of drug abuse in the United States. The Mexican drug cartels are merely supplying the demand.

10) Chile earthquake and Chile miners — Chile hit the world's headlines when an earthquake rattled the remote southern part of the country. The damage and deaths were relatively contained but the temblor shook down some big new buildings, exposing that some construction did not meet Chile’s codes.
As the country recovered from that disaster, 32 miners were trapped in a shaft a half a mile below the earth’s surface. There seemed little hope for the miners, until a drill reached the chamber where they were trapped and a note came back saying they were all alive. More weeks followed and we tuned into their ongoing drama. Chile’s president welcomed them when they finally were brought to the surface. Another story with a happy ending.

China has announced yesterday that it is making the use of Skype illegal after it said that all internet phone calls were to be banned, apart from those made over two state-owned networks, China Unicom and China Telecom.

Websites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube are already blocked in China and Google closed down its Chinese servers last year after heavy government pressure.

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DISCLAIMER:
Nowt on here is original, new, innovative or fresh. Most of the stuff has been copied from other sources where people are cleverer, wittier and far more erudite than I.
There is no intent to plagiarise, rip off or ignore copyrighted material and if I have mistakenly done so, I apologise unreservedly. I do always try to add a link back to the original item, but should I forget to on occasion, this is not deliberate. I just have an appalling memory.
Please enjoy the Blog as it is intended- it is not meant to be malicious or hurtful; merely to amuse. However, if offence is taken over something, drop me a line and we can discuss any grievances. Similarly, if there are any criticisms or ideas on how to improve our offerings, just get in touch.
Love and hugs- karTER