Breaking Bread: To connect intimately with people, cook them a meal

We had the typical exchange of details over how they met and where they went on their first date.

Then I asked the question: “Have you cooked for him yet?”

She had not.

To me, cooking for someone is an important and symbolic step in a relationship — it signifies that you care enough about the other person to feed him or her.

Cooking for someone, I believe, is akin to saying “I love you” without words.

As food-fixated as I am, I tend to give a lot of weight to such matters. And I know that I run the risk of being called old-fashioned or sexist for my beliefs.

I am not.

A few days ago, another friend told me about an online search for slow-cooker stew recipes when she happened upon this winner: Get a Husband Brunswick Stew.

Ugh. When was that written: 1952?

Sadly, the stew isn’t alone. We can add both Catch a Husband Cake and Engagement Chicken to that list. (Although, purportedly, Engagement Chicken got shock-jock Howard Stern to the altar, so maybe there’s something to the dish.)

Sexist recipe titles aside, hundreds of dating websites and millions of marriage licenses serve as a testament to the fact that we desire the kind of intimacy and sharing that comes from human relationships.

Is it backward to think that preparing food for another might not lead to such intimacy?

It has been said that sharing food with someone is the most intimate act two people can perform with their clothes on.

I agree. Feeding someone is the ultimate act of caring.

We learn the behavior from our mothers, who care for us more intimately than perhaps anyone else until our spouse comes along.

It might sound corny enough to be embroidered on a pillow, but there’s a reason that the kitchen is considered the heart of the home. A lot of love is exchanged during the passing of the peas.If and when my friend cooks for the new man, what would she make, I questioned. Did she want the Brunswick Stew recipe, I teased.

She declared both the stew and the chicken recipes to be “creepy.”

Creepy? Maybe.

But what if it works?

— Lisa Abraham writes about food for The Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch. Email her at labraham@dispatch.com or follow her on Twitter at @DispatchKitchen.