When searching online I found far too many fan-made or non-commercially produced fandom products that creeped me out from Edward Cullen’s giant face staring at me from a shower curtain to inappropriately printed thongs. So I decided that all the items on this list had to be officially licensed items.

Top Ten Things I Will Not Enjoy Receiving as Christmas Gifts:

Planet of the Apes Sky Diving Parachutist- Did I miss the part of the movies where the apes sky dive?

I Heart Ron Weasley Pillowcase- I love Ron… but not in these dress robes, of all things. Also, I already own one of these

Thor Alarm Clock Weight- Why does a god need a weight? And why would you make an alarm clock shaped like one? Hammer, guys. Thor’s got a hammer, not a weight *facepalm* And Thor doesn’t even need to sleep. Double-fail.

Downton Abbey Lip Gloss- Because when I watch Downton Abbey, the one thing I notice is the glossiness of their lips

Destroyed Cassandra Doctor Who Action Figure- First off, Cassandra in her “skin” form is barely in the episode this action figure is from. Second, this isn’t an “About to be Destroyed Cassandra,” it’s a frame where the character used to be and isn’t any more. The character isn’t even alive at this point and isn’t even included.

Hunger Games Lightbulb- Put a bird on it! I saw this at Toys R Us a few weeks ago. It was super cheap but even that wasn’t enough to make me buy it. I don’t have the faintest idea what I’d do with such a thing

JarJar Binks Lollipop- First off, it’s JarJar, and who needs that? Second, did anyone in charge of creating this even imagine what it would look like to suck on his tongue? I do NOT want anyone to be that intimate with JarJar.

Star Trek Metal Detector- Oh dear. It looks vaguely Enterprise-like. But I’m not sure what this has anything to do with Star Trek. But there’s not a lot that’s less pathetic than a metal detector

Twilight Perfume-“The Forbidden Fruit Tastes the Sweetest”. First off all, ick. Second of all, am I supposed to be eating this perfume? Double ick.

Ugly Duncan Mug- I’ve got a Highlander bathrobe, a Highlander golf cap, a Highlander wallet (actually, two, because my first one accidentally went through the wash). But even I can’t handle the Ugly Duncan Mug with the katana & ponytail handle
Above photo is from Gail Kallen’s great AA Con Photos gallery