iv'e been to countless farbrengens, with countless mashpi'im; but i have yet to see how it would positively influence me.

what iv'e come to ask is: can everyone benefit from a farbrengen? or is it only for certain people?

I for one haven't change a bit from any farbrengen, except those which explicitly demand something - and even then - the effects were extremely short-lived, and i feel that an alcoholic substance (or any food for that matter) had no effect on the matter.

i don't seem to understand the importance of a farbrengen - or at least the way i see them today. the rabbeim spoke many things about a farbrengen - including all these favorite one-liners that people love to quote; but isn't already time to understand what a farbrengen is, and what it's supposed to do, and... why the mashke?

a farbrengen is supposed to give someone some kind of chayus and hisorrerus in avodas hashem, and the ideal way to do that is through a gathering of friend. that means that the people who farbreng have to be existing friends and pretty close already, before the beginning of the farbrengen.

but let's not forget about the avodas hashem part, the discussion must be of topics that will improve avodas hashem; as opposed to a regular mundane discussion that usually won't lead to anything - and although every case is unique, i'm sure that we all know what kinds of discussions and topics will affect us, and which ones wont.

the mashke? well, that's simple - it's meant to open up our minds and hearts; when one is stressed or tense - or just simply stuck-up, he won't be able to accept anything being said to him, and for that he is given mashke - and like the know vort "Mashkin es habeheima" (=give water to the animal) to weaken one's nefesh habahamis, so in truth, mashke is just something secondary to the farbrengen (don't get me wrong, i don't hate the bottle).

so how many farbrengens can fit into this category? i don't think many.

the reason a friend is required is because a friend has the power to appeal to the individual, whereas a stranger wouldn't appeal. in order for something to be accepted b'pnimius and in truth, it must be appealing and attractive in all it's senses and attributes;

another reason for having a friend at a farbrengen is because the friend knows and realizes the person's current state, he knows (by his judgement) what his friend needs and what he doesn't, he knows his friend's weaknesses and his strengths. obviously wer'e talking about a fairly close friend.

of course there's always a mashpia!
what makes someone a mashpia? just because someone has a sirtuk and gives a shiur won't do, a mashpia is someone who can relate to his pupils, understand them - just like a friend. therefore making the mashpia an ideal person to farbreng, because a friend may be close with his peers, but his closeness with his father in heaven is unknown, how does he know if his ideas are right? but a mashpia has less of an error margin due to his good knowledge of chassidus.

so in effect, everyone can benefit from a farbrengen, provided it meets two requirements.

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the farbrengen must be situated in a way and time, as well as a place and the company - which will influence the person, the person must be laxed and ready to improve himself and be open to improvment.

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the message being conveyed in the farbrengen must be done through someone who frankly knows his stuff, and knows how to give it over.

any farbrengen not meeting any of these requirements isn't a farbrengen the way it's meant to be.

what distinguishes a farbrengen from a regular shiur? at first glance, they both have the same message and the same audience and the same intent: to bring a Hisorerus (awakening) in torah and mitzvos.

of course i'm talking about a shiur which is more like a mussar schmooze, not like a shiur that one recieves in yeshiva.

the truth is, a farbrengen isn't much different than a shiur - but a farbrengen has the power to "drill" a certain point inside the person - due to the three points iv'e stressed previously. 1)the speaker's relation to torah, 2)the speaker's relation to the audience, 3)the topic of conversation.

a farbrengen (is supposed to) create an environment which is more suitable for a "heart to heart" exchange of feelings and emotions, which usually cannot be exchanged in a lecture or shiur.

But all of this is just unfortunately - theory. many of today's farbrengens have no point whatsoever, and don't bring to any use or benefit in avodah or anything else, rather make people feel good about themselves that "they farbrenged" and make them feel more "chassidish", which may also be something good.

Being an excessive farbrenger places a person into a "chassidish" mindset, and the more you look around, the more you'll realize.

What you hear at farbrengens is usually more memorable than what you hear
at amussar shmooze. Also if you go to a farbrengen for the wrong reasons, it won't do you any good. That might be a factor why a some farbrengens have no point, but it seems to me that most have at least some influence on people. Note: what someone gets out of a farbrengen differs from person to person

I've heard it said that a farbrengen without a "bechain" (a practical hachlata) is like a body without a Neshama.

Yes, everyone can benefit from a Farbrengen.

A Farbrengen is a place to get inspired, to solidify hashkafos, to give you chayus. Unless you made some active change as a result, the inspiration can't accomplish much. Inspiration goes after a while; you're supposed to grab it while you have it and help yourself grow. Even if later you stop doing that new hidur, it will always be easier to start again. You need to KNOW while you're at a Farbrengen that the purpose is to CHANGE. Try to think of ways to apply what you're hearing, and don't leave the Farbrengen until you've thought of ONE practical application, even just for the next day. If for one day you davened with more Kavana- it was worthwhile.

i think the later you stay at a farbrengen the more the farbrengen becomes personal to the individual. tongues are looser to really say what's on the mind.
speakers that come to mind are
rabbi groner and rabbi weinberg(senior).there are many others i am sure but these are the ones that still today i remember the impact they had on everyone there.
these farbrengens are very far and inbetween.
i always say to people who weren't inspired by a farbrengen "maybe you didn't stay long enough".
can someone clarify how the farbrengens were in 770 with the Rebbe.
what was the seder of the farbrengens?

Even if you don't "get" anything out of the Farbrengen it still is important to sit around. Simply put, the things that you shmooze about affect your outlook and lifestyle. If you talk about clothes, cars politics, then that's what's your mind is in. If you spend time discussing (CH'V) non-Jewish movies, then that's your life. A farbrengen- even not a "real" one sets aside time to talk about Chassidus, the Rebbe, Elokus. Granted the farbrengen may not live up to the criteria of a farbrengen, but it still is good for keeping you on track. Besides a Chassidishe nigun never hurt anyone (...so it's not a waste of time...). Don't stop going (and staying) at these farbrengens, because then you loose all chances of being at a "real" (heavy duty) one. Keep on looking!

I think that the success of a farbie is the farbeisen and quality of mashke. After about 90 minutes, bring out the chicken, kugels and salads. DOnt forget the Tam Tams and get some whole wheat ones too. Give lots of drink and it is important to have a SAR HAMASHKIM, and make sure you dont serve hunt essen, because the farbie will bomb if you do.

Forkfulls of good satisfying stuff will keep Yidden happy and they will be return customers and will bring friends next time. This advise is especially directed to small towns where there is new shlichus.

I think that the success of a farbie is the farbeisen and quality of mashke. After about 90 minutes, bring out the chicken, kugels and salads. DOnt forget the Tam Tams and get some whole wheat ones too. Give lots of drink and it is important to have a SAR HAMASHKIM, and make sure you dont serve hunt essen, because the farbie will if you do.

Girl's farbraingens are a whole other ball game. i think the mashke changes the whole scene

that doesn't mean anything- girls and boys are obviously different, the question is more what you put onto it- ie you're just there and you're hanging around, not trying to make any kind of kaili, you obviously wont come out inspired. otoh, if you share something, and encourage others to do the same, and learn something davka in order to share it at the farbrengen, and then make a hachlata at the end of it, and while ur there u try to take the most out of it, then ull find that its not just a blah farbrengen, it was worth it and it meant s/t

Sure, everyone can benefit and not only that, everyone benefits. First of all, don't underestimate the value of makif. You sit in the atmosphere of friendship and you try to awaken in yourself the feeling of love to all the participants. Second, if you realize that nothing that is spoken there touches you, this itself stirs something in your soul. Besides, you sit there not because you feel any benefit but purely out of kabolas ol for the chassidic minhag - that itself has tremendous value.

Discouraged from what? What is the negative thing that the person would get? If the person did not have nifal pnimi and it does not bother him, he will remain the same, and if it does bother - it would lead to better soul search.