Thursday, March 6, 2008

BSNYC Product Review: Hitting the Road

Ever since I started reviewing bicycles and components, companies just will not stop sending me products to review. I’m sure some of you think that being constantly sternum-deep in the latest high-end gear is a dream come true, but I’m here to tell you that it’s more of a nuisance than anything. In fact, the degree of clutter has reached the point that I’ve had to find household uses for all of these products. So far I’ve built a coat rack out of carbon fiber handlebars, a toilet seat out of a deep-dish carbon fiber rim, and an extremely comfortable bed that uses Marzocchi suspension forks for legs. (Thank goodness for remote lockout.)

Recently I figured it was about time that I reviewed another product. However, I didn’t want to simply review the same high-end, overpriced gimmickry that the rest of the cycling media is always drooling over. Furthermore, I couldn’t find any components that weren’t now providing some kind of essential domestic service. (If you think I’m giving up my SRAM Red shower controls, you are gravely mistaken.) So I decided to do more of a “real world” review for the budget-oriented cyclist. And there’s one place above all where budgets and cyclists collide with spectacular results—that’s right, Craigslist.

I recognize that not every aspiring cyclist can afford to walk into a bike shop and get fully outfitted, so I wanted to see how the Craigslist experience compared to the retail store experience. It wasn’t easy to find a bicycle that met my dual requirements of being both inexpensive yet made by a reputable manufacturer, though. Until I stumbled upon this:

Yes, that’s right, a vintage Bridgestone for $150. Leaning seductively against the refrigerator like a cat rubbing itself on a shin, this bicycle spoke to me through my monitor like few others ever have. Sometimes, when you look at a bicycle, you can see yourself with it in your mind, and at that moment what I saw was this:

I knew I had to have it.

I had three questions for the owner, which I emailed to him. They were as follows:

--“How many speeds does it have?”--“Is this a Grant Petersen Bridgestone?”--“Do you take Paypal?”

Shortly thereafter I received an email from someone named Jeff, who answered my questions thusly:

--“it goes how fast you peddle it.”--“i got it off this guy frank. if grant sez its his i dont know nothing about it.”--“whats paypal. im not a homo.”

Convinced of the bike’s pedigree and confident in Jeff’s knowledge and integrity, I arranged to purchase the bicycle that very evening.

Even though I arrived at Jeff’s house at exactly the agreed-upon time, I had apparently not only interrupted his dinner of Cocoa Puffs but also hadn’t given him sufficient time to put on pants. Gruffly, he took my money and presented me with the bike. (Actually, he didn’t so much present it as he did roll it in my general direction.) He also indicated a Magna mountain bike in a corner that was being used as a clothes drying rack, and while it was difficult to understand him through his mouthful of cereal and milk I interpreted his grunts to mean that he would throw it in for another $40. I respectfully declined.

As I strapped my new Bridgestone to the trunk rack of my Smart car, I reflected on the exchange. Certainly buying a bike from a shop would have been a more genteel experience, but at the same time I never would have gotten a bicycle for anything close to $150. So despite the fact that I had been treated curtly and had received a face full of Cocoa Puffs, I figured that so far I was ahead of the game.

I soon had an unforeseen problem though. The Bridgestone was so heavy and my Smart car was so light that the bicycle actually lifted the car’s front wheels off the ground. Consequently I was forced to purchase the Magna from Jeff after all. By bungee-cording it to the front of the car as ballast, I was finally able to drive home. So now I had spent $190. Plus, due to the fact that my car now looked like a giant Easter egg being double-teamed by two stray dogs, I received even more anti-Smart car taunts than usual. And it’s hard to put a dollar value on that kind of embarrassment.

The next day, I examined my new bike more closely. The first thing I noticed was that I could not raise or lower the saddle no matter how much I loosened the binder bolt. I figured that the bicycle must have one of those integrated seatposts I had heard about, so I simply angled the nose of the saddle way down in order to compensate. Secondly, when I turned the bars there was a grinding sound, and a red powder fell like dandruff from the headset. Since the powder was the color of clay I assumed that the bicycle must be equipped with ceramic bearings, which according to publications like VeloNews and Bicycling is a significant upgrade. Score! Thirdly, when I spun the wheels I noticed that they were very wobbly. I took this to be what people call “speed wobble,” and I figured that it would help me go faster. The unpleasant transaction now just a memory, I congratulated myself on having found such a bargain.

Having thoroughly examined the bicycle, it was now time to ride. I wanted very much to look like the guy in the ad I had fantasized about being, but it was too cold for shorts. So instead I donned my cold-weather gear: a pair of New Balance running shoes, grey sweatpants tucked into striped tube socks, a hooded sweatshirt, and one of those hard-shell skateboarding helmets. I completed the ensemble by slipping a short-sleeved “BSNYC Test Pilot” jersey over my hooded sweatshirt. Looking sufficiently pro, I hit the streets.

I’ve read about bicycles handling “telepathically.” Now, I’d be lying if I said that this were the case here. In fact, to be completely honest the handling was more via USPS than telepathy. I’ve also heard about drivetrains shifting “crisply” and “cleanly.” In this case, though, shifting was more like listening to AM on an old radio with a dial, in that it was mostly about moving the lever up and down until I found a sound that was bearable. At this point I began to think that I had made a mistake, and this suspicion was confirmed shortly thereafter when the fork separated itself from the steer tube. Fortunately, I was wearing my hard-shell skateboarding helmet. Unfortunately, it did little to protect my chin, which is the body part I landed on.

In conclusion, as I sit here pensively stroking my scab goatee, I have to say that, while there are undoubtedly bargains to be found on Craigslist, there just might be something to the whole bike shop thing.

One one comment about your whereabouts this morning? You're not even going to attempt to suggest you're not the NYC bike-bomber? Sure, just change the subject with one of the funniest posts you've made this year.

ahh, the bridgestone kabuki. there've been a few donated to our community bike shop, back alley bikes.org. i'm always drawn to the gene simmons logo head badge and handlebar engraving, as well as the cast sockets disguised as long point lugs. i would have built one for me, except they weigh about 50 lbs...as for the magna, my suggestion is to do as i did with my huffy mountain bike.http://www.flickr.com/photos/agentdetroit/2110513663/

You have to love the Japanese ziabatsus. Bridgestone makes F1 racing tires, feminine napkins, bikes and cardiac medication.

Of course, they name the bike Kabuki, because when one sees a Grant Petersen bike, one immediately thinks, ...japanese theatre.

Sorry about the Smart car taunts, but Mercedes had to figure out how to make the car 50% less fuel efficient than the European version before they could sell it in the US. No way Dick Cheney was going to tolerate that 60mpg shit, he threatened to invite the Mercedes USA CEO on a hunting trip.

i'd love to tell you what to do with your univega. however, due to my recent podium appearances and today's first place, my consultation fees have increased significantly. if you're still interested, show me a pic...

craigslist is like a pound for bikes - you get one and hope it doesn't bite you. i rescued a colnago that was allegedly 'running smoothly' only to discover it was missing some very essential bolts. explains the price. your LBS might suck, but if you dealt with hipsters looking for 'a sweet fixie', you'd be bitter too.

two summers ago i bought a rocky mountain slayer frame off ebay - said it was never built up. it had no rear shock so i go to my trusted LBS and order a fox shock and the spacers. I assemble said bike and take it for its first-ever ride. it performs nicely but the bolt holding the shock cam in place is bent, after one ride! i take it back to my LBS (which by the way is a rocky dealer), this time the owner is there and he takes one look at the bike and says, "dude, that's not a rocky mountain frame". long story longer, we end up shipping the frame to rocky so they can try and find out who is making bootleg frames and I get 3/4 off a new rocky frame....

Bikesnob: Have you no respect for the review genre? Excellently done old chap. Your embrace and rediscovery of the traditional and pre-loved is most refreshing.

I look forward to your next review, which I hear will be of some pre-owned 1997 Performance brand shorts and new-to-you Genius 2 shoes. Don't forget to use the fungus powder and vaseline liberally and post again soon.

I have this Bike. It was my sisters when I was a little one. Now I have it and it runs awesome, but one idea...... why didn't you bring it in for a full tune up at a good bike shop??? Before taking it for a spin .... sorry about the chin.

hey now, I have the 74 kabuki special touring version. double butted tubing, top of the (then) line suntour V luxe front and rear deraileurs with bar end shifters and those FABULOUS ??? brakes whose mechanical structure will reappear in the 9000 dura ace brakes. Sunshine hubs not as high end but the high flange makes up for a mirror shine cold forging bling. Other than the initial fear of riding on NO HOOK rims (you'll be fine, just use STEEL beads with max. 60x70psi 27x1 3/8 or 1 1/2). How they ever named it a "touring" with its 42x23 low gear I have no clue, but it is a fabulous bike! I have struggled up but blissfully bombed down my local mtn. ride (Tantalus) many times on this thing.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!