Farrah Abraham Is the Beauty Guru No One Should Follow

Teen Mom Farrah Abraham seems like she may be one of the most annoyingly clueless people on the planet. Or she just thinks the rest of us are fools. Or maybe she does actually fart rainbows, and that’s what makes her a special little flower. How else can you explain her sex tape with a professional porn star that was supposedly “leaked”?

Anyway, I haven’t seen the tape, because I don’t want to burn my retinas or anything, but the Keek video she recently put up was enough to make me wish for temporary blindness. Farrah’s wearing Christmas makeup, y’all, and the result is ... not flattering.

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What exactly is Christmas makeup? Green and gold eye shadow and red lips. Her lips. Can we talk about her lips for a minute? Farrah, sweetheart, I know you think that pumping your lips full of whatever it is you pumped in there makes you look like Angelina Jolie, but it’s just not working for you.

I don’t want to be ugly about it, but maybe some tough love is needed here. Your gigantic lips are more reminiscent of a bigmouth bass than Tomb Raider, Farrah. You’re a pretty girl. Or you were a pretty girl. Stop with the fake already.