Dear Oscar,

Where would I be in this world without you? My savior, my confidant, my best friend. I can remember the day we adopted you like it was yesterday. You were sound asleep in that cage. Your belly round, your paws so tremendous that we wondered how big you were actually going to be. You had a face that could melt a glacier. I never knew how you would affect my heart. I’m not sure if it’s your consistent stare like someone peed in your water bowl, how your eyes look like you have put on way too much eyeliner, your dry nose that I kiss when you’re having your hound dreams or how I swear your feet smell like Doritos. I love how you can’t get close enough to me–so close that when I stop short you bang into me. When I wake up we’re usually sharing a pillow and I can smell your snoozy breath and hear your slow licks when you first open your eyes. Oscar, you’re afraid of everything. I think I’m starting to realize you’re stronger then you pretend to be. You just fake it so mommy will hug you tighter and help you do everything.

You’ve been sick lately and every day my fear is that eventually I will wake up and your side of the bed will be empty. My heart sinks every time I find another tumor and I pray Dr. Krassnoff will make them disappear. I will never forget the sign on the wall where we adopted you. It read, “Are you ready for a fifteen year commitment?” I thought, ‘wow, that’s a long time,’ but Oscar, my love, I pray for another lifetime with you. 15 years is just not enough. I love when you go through your toy basket and drop every wet, raggy toy in my lap and wait till I’m about to touch it and snatch it away. I love our snuggie parties and how you don’t give me an opportunity to get a leg in the bed before you’re fighting to lay on me. I love your patience with Max and how you have accepted him into our lives with no reservation. I love how you eat each meal like I have been starving you for weeks. I love how you pretend to lick your feet when I know you’re really trying to lick the couch. I love when you rub your face in the blanket and bring your paw over your eyes because the light is just a little too bright for you to bear.

Oscar, I will spend my last dollar on you if it means keeping you around just one minute longer–because without you, my world would be empty. Thank you for licking every tear, listening to every story or simply being close–because you know I need you. Life hasn’t been very easy for us, but we have successfully kept each other afloat. You’re my celebrity, my stinky bear, my noodle bug and my rock. I will forever be in your debt. When people ask me if I’m obsessed with you, my answer is YES! You, my love, are the one thing I love most in this world and I can’t and will not love anything more.