VOY Caption This 97; Sense and Sensibility

The weekend starts here with the latest caption contest!!! In preparation for the 100th VOY caption contest I'm planning something a bit different from the usual format; this caption (100th one) is going to be based around a small story (for example it could be about Janeway's coffee run) using pictures and captions based around the theme of this story.

Chakotay: What you are doing is madness captain!
Janeway: And I thought you were a man of faith...

Chakotay: So did you remember when...
Kellin: You were firing blanks?
Chakotay: Yeah...

Doctor: Now B'Elanna, I ask you to keep your big nasty Klingon temper on ice or please kindly leave this dwelling of happiness and love and-
B'Elanna: I think I'm going to puke...

<B'Elanna thinking> Did he put it in or not?

Paris: It's not what you think captain, I only said this alien man's erm... thingie... was this big!
Kim: He then started making erm... advances and...
Paris: And we're not into that sort of thing but...
Kim: We shouldn't have gone to that orgy in the first place...

KELLIN: I'll be honest. I only made love with you because I thought you were an android.
CHAKOTAY: I get that all the time.

DOCTOR: Do you like it B'elana? This scene is based on a 20th century horror film Tom Paris recommended to me. Just look at my lovely children.
B'ELANA: A horror film huh. Have you been past the first scene?
DOCTOR: No.
B'ELANA: Do you know what a horror film is?
DOCTOR: No.
B'ELANA: Hrm. Well, enjoy.

B'elana thought she was marrying a badboy, but he turned out to be just a giant dork.

PARIS: So I replicated a Risan horgon, and showed it to Seven, and she took it completely the wrong way.

B'Elanna: And Belle, what about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Belle: I'm going to become the most famous Starfleet doctor like Daddy. I'll sing to all of my patients and travel to the stars, and save the ship like Daddy has done many times. He is the Wesley Crusher of Starfleet medicine

Janeway: Do I know you?
Chakotay: I'm Chakotay.... you know... your first officer... I've been sitting next to you and standing in your shadow for seven years...
Janeway: No.. sorry. Doesn't ring a bell.

Chakotay: You said I'm the love of my life, but everyone who meets you forgets you and you abandoned everything and everyone you know to return to me?
Kellin: That's right
Paris(off-screen): Some life.. bet you wish -you- could forget it.

EMH: What do you think of my family?
Torres: Your wife sets women's rights back 400 years, your son is going to grow up used to the feeling of daily wedgies and your daughter just makes me want to hurl.

Torres: I just had a dream my boyfriend turned into a lizard and had kinky lizard sex with the captain!

Janeway: Gentlemen, these ratings are unacceptable. What do you intend to do about them?
Kim: Well uh...
Paris: Dammit captain, I can't carry this show by myself. Sure I'm an ace pilot, field medic, commando, I can build ships out of scrap parts and the women love me, but you have to get me a better sidekick. He's killing me.

Chakotay: you ready Kathryn? We're already late.
Janeway: yeah just this last body to cremate then I'm all yours.

Kellin: psst chakotay are you going to eat that pudding?

Torres: ....and then I broke his jaw, haha
Family: *sits in silence for a moment*
Wife: err that's nice.
EMH: awkward more like.

Torres: thank god that was only a dream.
EMH: doctor to lt Torres, the wife feels it's best you never come for dinner again.

Paris: so I put my hands around her like this and she lashed out at us captain.
Janeway: that's not he full story mr Paris she was really a he and he was the king of these people.
Kim: err
Paris: well could've fooled me.

Janeway: Ensign Wildman...Samantha... what is it?Wildman: Warn..the...crew... don't ..eat the..chickenJaneway: What the hell is that smell...OH MY GOD.

Kellin: I thought chicken curry was on the menu today?Chakotay: apparently there was an issue with food poisoning and explosive diarrhoea...poor Samantha. Still we managed to destroy it all...well apart from one pot we can't account forDoctor: So I was going to make something from scratch but when I went down to the mess hall there was no one around so I managed to sneak a pot of chicken curryB'Elanna: Your so bad...but this is delicious!

<B'Elanna thinking> Oh oh!!!

Paris: She was this close to making it to the John then bam...all up the wall and down the back of both legs!