Thong Song

To people raised in a railroad shack
It is known as your butt crack
To people of taste who are verbally deft
It is known as the gluteal cleft
Either way, it’s at the bottom of your back
Between the one on the right and the one on the left

On this matter, my mind is shut
Don’t walk around showing off your butt
I trust you will not wear one at least
Until I am safely deceased.

Your gluteal cleft, I must insist,
Should be seen by your dermatologist
When treating a rash, or cyst,
And nobody else. No daughter of mine
Wears thongs. That’s the bottom line.
That’s the bottom line.
No daughter of mine belongs
In thongs.

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).