The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.19.13

Welcome to Monday’sThe Crap We Missed and it’s another large collection thanks to a weekend full of content I didn’t get around to sifting through because going back to Home Depot four times was way more fun. On that note, if anyone ever tells you that renovating a bathroom is easily a DIY job, you have my permission to punch their face right in the dick. Anyway, today’s gallery includes Josh Duhamel thinking, “Alright, which one of you assholes just asked if this would stain her penis blue?”, Nabilla Benattia and the highway I never knew existed between her clearly all-natural breasts, Heidi Klum still dominating social media (yes, nudity), Tony Parker who apparently paid for the Simon Cowell package on this trip, and our most pimpinest president, Bill Clinton just now hearing The Hamptons is getting its first Hooters.

When you take down a wall you thought wasn’t load bearing and the ceiling sags, that’s no biggie, right? It’s fine, we’re going to be fine here,

This is, hands down, the most fucking retarded thing I’ve ever seen. There’s some poor vegetable kid with 24 chromosomes drooling down the front of his/her shirt in a Special Ed class right, and he/she doesn’t hold a candle to this shit.

“Oh that? Funny how that got in the background of this shot. Yeah, that’s my 1998 Ford Explorer XLT. It’s a sweet ride. Just a notch down from the Eddie Bauer, but I’ve got all you need in that baby. I had a full size fridge and freezer put in, so it’s just a one seater now.”

And he’ll scare you
He’ll ensnare you
All the better just to tear you
He’s atrocious
And he knows just what it
Takes to make a ho blush
He got
One hand between his thighs
He’s got …
Christopher Walken eyes