So we are firmly ensconced in the month of August now, and that level of of Augustness makes me think of August as a topic…. Well, that makes sense. So to enjoy this Augustitude, let’s take some questions on August.Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, theMikeStand, Chris Ring, Nadolny, Dr JHP, and Allrileyedup. Here we go:1. If you were a superhero and your name was AUGUST, what would your superpower(s) be?Heat Ray and the noise of crickets.2. March has a Lion and a Lamb associated with its weather. What animals would you assign to August, and why? Why? For the love of god, why?the vole… it is the potato chip of the prairie.

3. Would you rather be remembered as an august councilman, august CEO, or August Playmate?august procrastinator4. August around here, as with many other places, is marked by high, high humidity. How does your family deal with humidity? If you tell me you have air conditioning, I will kill you and move into your house.Sharpen your knives and get ready for the act of killing. We have an air conditioning, although we haven’t had to use it much due to mild weather this year.5. The Counting Crows album “August and Everything After” became the soundtrack to my high school summers. Even just the first few notes of “Round Here” still sends me on nostalgic trips. Do you have such an album in your history?Hmmmm… Well, Mr Jones, there isn’t one that comes to mind. Round here, I guess the best that I can really come up with is the album that I listened to my last summer in ‘Bama with my more metal-esque friends, which was The Persistence of Time by Anthrax… Time and time again, I will listen to any songs on that album and think back to multiple living rooms in perfect blue buildings on Sullivan Street, late nights, pizza, and rented VHS movies6. August has no US holidays, what’s up with that? I need a holiday.Create some “Me” time… make a holiday in the month and call it “Meday.” Celebrate it with food… mmmmm food holiday based on me.7. August 26th is annual go topless day, are you participating?Best I can do is open the sunroof.8. Anything left on your Summer bucket list before school starts?Nope. Got back into school and moved to a kickass house. I think that is pretty much it for the summer.9. August was named after Augustus Gloop which is why we eat a lot and why we are lazy during August right?

Nope… You got so much of that wrong… it looks like it took effort to get it that wrong. 10. Who was the most august King Of England? Queen of England?Queen Elizabeth I is the most august.

11. Was there a more august monarch than the above?Not that I can think of… she was pretty badass. Her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard12. Do you know anyone (personally) named Augustus? Would you name your kid Augustus. You know what I mean, I know you didn’t, but do you find it an acceptable name, or does it weigh the kid down.I once met a kid (he was 12-ish when I was 17/18-ish) whose name was August. He was a cousin of a friend of a friend, and very well could have made that name up for the day… I think it is a hard act to follow. It would be akin to naming your kid Wondrous Emperor.13. Do you prefer August in the Julian or Gregorian calendar?Since it is the one in use, I will say the Gregorian.14. There are no (US) national holidays in August. But there are these holidays: Friendship Day, Assumption Day, National Aviation Day, Women’s Equality Day and Islamic Ramadan (Ok, yeah, I wiki’d that). Which is your favorite?Assumption Day is my favorite, but that is an assumption on my part.15. How’s the new digs? Ok, that’s not an August question. How about, How’s the new digs now that it’s August?The new digs are great, and it is August, one might say that I now have august digs.16. So from what I remember August is named for Augustus. If you were to rename the months after more contemporary leaders/personalities what would this month be? (Bieberus will land you in front of a firing squad).Let’s just look at the presidents of my lifetime and come up with month names associated with them. Nixon: DickuaryFord: FordCarter: TeethuaryReagan: the Gipper — Month Name: GipplyG.H.W. Bush: BlahvemberClinton: ClitonberG.W. Bush: Rocktober or maybe Toyotathon (a la Daniel Tosh’s Completely Serious)Obama: Barack17. 31 days in August, it’s the end of summer and summer is good so why not 32, 33 days?It is a net sum gain. There are only 365 days (plus change) so the days would need to be taken from somewhere to add to August. Therefore if you add a day or 2 to August it has to come from somewhere. Summer ends at the same time regardless of what number is on a calendar. 18. Most of the back to school ads begin in this month, how long before that moves into July?2 years19. Why is August the 8th month instead of October?That is an interesting question, because it actually started out as the 8th month. Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar added their months in between June and September and messed up the numbering system. Arrogant bastards… at least their venerators were arrogant on their behalf. 20. Is August an appropriate time for kids to go back to school or do you think they should wait until after Labor Day?I think the last week in August makes the most sense. That was kids get to ease back into the school year with a short week. Ease them in.To recap:We celebrated Little Man’s birthday this weekendTherefore the house was put together except for the grown up people’s spacesMy studio, Wifey’s Office and our bedroom are still relatively untouchedAnd full of crapSo much crapI am hungryChinese for lunch?I think soWe have to get a mini-cell for the houseJust too many dead zones in the house cell-wiseGotta fix that stuff since we got rid of the land-lineThe next big project will be the bedroomIf you know what I meanWink wink nudge nudgeBy that I mean we need to find places to put all of our clothesI start classes on the 27thCannot believe that I am going back to the schoolsLittle Man starts 3rd grade next WednesdayHave a great weekend everyone