One of my last close friends, who is a guy, will probably be getting married soon. How do i try to remain a part of his life without getting his wife irked? We like to go hiking, backpacking and paddling together and I would be broken hearted to lose that large part of our friendship.

I've continued to think about this and would like to add that I do not mind my husband being friendly with women, or being out in a group with women, but I would not be at all happy if he went for long country walks alone with another woman, or paddling on the beach with her. These ventures seem to be the stuff of romance and I would, actually, be very upset.

If hiking and paddling are to remain on the menu, then I think that others will have to be involved ~ preferably his wife and your hudband ~ and a few other couples, perhaps.

Edited by PDM (12/14/1002:40 PM)

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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

I'm trying to think of how I would handle something like this if my husband were to go out on hikes with another woman... I think it would bother me because I would be wondering why my husband would want to go and spend all this time with another woman instead of with me - I would wonder why he doesn't ask me to come along, even if that other woman is married, because unfortunately the meaning of marriage to some people doesn't necessarily mean staying loyal.

It's great that you and your male friend are able to go out on hikes and your husband is fine with it, that must mean that he trusts your friend. Reason I say this is because my husband has always told me (and I the same to him), it's the other people we don't trust.

But, no worries about it now, he's not married yet... and who knows what the future will hold. My one suggestion would be to start trying to get her involved with you guys - might make her less apprehensive about it when he suggests going on a hike with you if she's not up for coming along.