Important information

This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. By continuing to use our site, you consent to Steel Media's
privacy policy.

Steel Media websites use two types of cookie: (1) those that enable the site to function and perform as required; and (2) analytical cookies which anonymously track visitors only while using the site. If you are not happy with this use of these cookies please review our Privacy Policy to learn how they can be disabled. By disabling cookies some features of the site will not work.

CONS

VERDICT

Despite its awkward controls and derivative visuals, Hot Mess's barmy representation of lust will probably trigger a palpatation or two.

Full Review

App Store Info

Hot Mess caused a bit of controversy when it was banned from the App Store not once but twice. You see, Hot Mess is a game about burning passion. More specifically, it's a game about locating burning passion, and then dousing those white hot with flames with a jet of cold water.

You take control of a fire-fighting robot, who has been sent into a hotel to save the residents from a series of blazes. After an unexpected electric shock, the robot's targeting systems go haywire, causing him to zero in on the lovers which populate the hotel rather than the fires themselves.

The robot moves forward automatically, leaving it to you to steer him left and right using buttons at the bottom of the screen. Holding both buttons will unleash the firehose. The little guy slows to a crawl when spraying water, giving you a chance to direct him towards a new target, rolling through a water source if necessary.

The steering takes some getting used to, and you find yourself running into walls and furniture. This is a problem, as collisions drain your health bar, meaning you have to drive as carefully as possible to avoid premature deactivation.

However, extinguishing these flames of passion light a fire within the robot itself, engaging a temporary high-speed boost mode. The levels are designed so that you can effectively speed-run between couples, smashing through walls and soaking every couple in a continuous, frenzied charge.

Activate the boost while facing an exterior wall, however, and your robot will smash straight through and fall to his death. As the hotel floor designs become more elaborate and more chasms start appearing, it becomes incredibly tough to keep the little droid alive. Switching between spraying water and turning is tricky enough when travelling slowly, but when the boost kicks in, steering away from holes in the floor becomes a nightmare.

But, even with the same music track droning on, and the derivative Hotline Miami-esque visuals, Hot Mess's bizarre premise just about manages to hold things together. The control system is awkward, but part of the challenge. Levels are often over in a couple of seconds, which is handy given the number of times you'll have to repeat some of them. Wrestling with the controls can sometimes fall on the wrong side of irritating, but we're sure that some folks will get a kick out of chasing flaming semi-naked couples with a fire extinguisher.

Description

HOT MESS is the story of a firefighting robot and its adventures helping everybody out.

Harkening back to classic 8-bit hose games like COOL-AID MAN, OH NO MY NEIGHBORS and COMPU SLED, players delicately maneuver a two-ton spray tank while minimizing property damage and respecting basic social values like privacy and the pursuit of happiness.

Take your time through a few different hotels, extinguishing fires with the utmost caution and care.

* Scrolling digital color -- the screen moves as you do!
* Auto-movmement lets you concentrate on other things, like what's going on tonight
* Synaesthesic computer audio by legendary shredder Eric Guenther
* Global Leaderboards use the familiar "base-10" number system
* Experience is segmented into discrete stages, in a way real life can never be