JEFF EDELSTEIN: Happy Think About the 1.3 Million Americans Who Have Died Fighting For Your Sorry Butt Day.'

Prediction: There would be a marked decrease in 40 percent off sales if we renamed “Memorial Day” to something slightly more fitting, something like, “Think About the 1.3 Million Americans Who Have Died Fighting For Your Sorry Butt Day.”

I’ve touched on this before, I’ll touch on this again, but everytime I think about it, I get a weird feeling about the way we “honor” our war dead. Why? Because a day set aside to remember those who lost their lives protecting American freedom — and let’s be frank, American interests — has devolved into a shopper’s holiday.

Parades? I understand. Getting together with friends and family, having a barbeque or a picnic? Of course. Running around your local “miracle mile” to buy 40 percent off lawn trimmers and jeans and smartphones? Doesn’t exactly scream, “I solemnly remember those lives lost.”

If possible, it’s even gotten worse this year, thanks to Brio Tuscan Grille, an Italian eatery chain with locations coast to coast. They’ve got one here at Quaker Bridge Mall. We ate there once. They sent us a $15 coupon. It was good, and the service was great, especially with the kids. We’d go back. But not without a coupon, so I signed up to their email rewards program.

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And I got an email the other day.

It’s a coupon offer. The subject header reads, “In Celebration of Freedom, A Gift Of Gratitude From Our Kitchen To Yours.” Open the email, and the offer states: “In honor of those who served and who continue to serve, we thank you. With gratitude, we invite you to enjoy 20% off online ordering. Enter code upon checkout Honor20.”

This is accompanied by a picture of American troops planting an American flag on some foreign soil.

Now to be clear: I’m not a veteran. And the offer doesn’t explicitly state anywhere it’s only for veterans. But it sure seems like the offer is only for veterans. The ad is talking directly to them. “We thank you,” “With gratitude, we invite you …” Pretty clear the ad is speaking directly to the veterans.

But I’ve got the coupon. Certainly seems like Brio Tuscan Grille is asking me to pretty much pretend to be a veteran so I can get 20 percent off my online order.

Honest mistake on its part? Perhaps. Who knows. But disgusting.

Now to be clear, and before I get too high and mighty, I am not immune to the charms of a good deal. I’ve been actively scanning a handful of baseball card online retailers all week, all of whom are offering their Memorial Day sales. And furthermore, I’m not against the idea of businesses using the days surrounding the holiday to run sales. Somehow, it’s the most patriotic thing in the world to offer deep discounts on power tools around a day meant to remember those who fought and died in wars.

But …

But you have to think the families of those of fought and died in wars are probably not running to Brio Tuscan Grille on Monday for 20 percent off, they’re not price matching at Best Buy, they’re not trying to find a great deal on 2013 Topps Chrome baseball.

What they are doing, probably, is remembering their fathers, sons and husbands, their mothers, daughters and wives. Remembering what they did, why they did it, and who they did it for.

Understand: I’m a patriotic guy, but I’m not a jingoistic one. I loathe the concept of war, and have a hard time grasping how the entire species of humanity hasn’t signed on to that thought process yet. But there’s times when war is necessary, times when war is just, times when war is the only way to ensure you stay on the right side of history.

And there’s 1.3 million Americans who have died fighting for those reasons.