Say arrivederci to reality.

Foto scattata da @dvstyyy via IG @biscottibrands

You are taking pinpoint turns on the corniches in your ’69 Alfa Romeo Spider. Your Hermès scarf whips in the wind as you lose yourself in the azure skies of the French Riviera. You’ve arrived in Monte Carlo and soon pull up to the Grand Casino. You slip out of your convertible as bulbs flash all around you. You know how to make an entrance so you reach into your pocket for your Calibri and light up your Biscotti Brand pre–rolled joint as you wave to your admirers.

The concierge greets you with an ashtray and a flute of Prosecco. You casually hand him a Ben Franklin or two and ask to be led to the craps table. The croupier admires your artfully rolled Biscotti joint and you offer him a puff. The entire casino is intoxicated by your air of defiance and class. You let your chips ride on black simply because it matches your Ferragamo wingtips. You win big of course because winning is all you know. A platinum blonde sashays her way into your arms and flashes her diamond encrusted cigarette holder. You scoff at her Capri 100 and place one of your Biscotti joints in her holder instead. She is forever indebted to you and shows her gratitude in spades as you retreat to your penthouse suite. You lose yourselves amongst smoke serpents and the alluring stench of money and Chanel No. 5…

Like a punch to the gut you, wake up on your deck in Burbank and curse the leaf-blower out front for awakening you from your dream again. You desperately reach for another Biscotti and prepare yourself for another trip abroad.

“Thank Jah, I’m a country boy…” Ol’ Hank was a country boy who came from a long line of prideful lumberjack men. Years spent clearin’ brush and swingin’ a pickaxe started to take it’s toll on him though. Ol’ Hank. Or Buzzsaw Hank, as the fellas down at the pool hall liked to call him […]

“I’m Henry VIII, I Am” I’m Henry the canned eighth, I am Henry the canned eighth, I am, I am I got to smokin’ with the widow next door She’s been out tokin’ seven times before And every one was an Henry’s Original She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam no ma’am. I just canned […]

Confectionary for the counter culture… These are the sort of edibles you were warned about. The sort of edible that picks up your daughter in a motorcycle for the school dance and leaves tire tracks on your lawn. The sort of edible that spikes the punch bowl and then drives you to “make-out point”. Rebel […]

Putting the velvet rope around your dope… In an airport that makes sense Executive Vape Lounges are all the rage. A giant atrium where cannabis connoisseurs can puff away before being ferried off to Shanghai on business or mom’s house in Des Moines. There are levels to this thing however. One can smoke a nice […]

With great power there must also come great highs… Imagine your regular, run of the mill, pre-rolled joint and it has somehow taken on human form and now attends high school in Queens, NY. Let’s say this joint attends a science fair because he’s sort of nerdy and digs that stuff but is unfortunately bit by […]

You put your spells in there… Traditionally, the leather stash pouch was used by magical herbal merchants who kept their pouch on their waist and offered such “beans” to weary travelers and curious townsfolk alike, giving cloudy daydreams of giants and singing harps. (Magic “beans” indeed… puff puff) In feudal Japan, the leather stash pouch […]

The Empire Puffs Back. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… It is a time of civil disobedience. Rebel vaporizers have won their first victory against the evil Darth Vapor. During the battle, rebel spies manage to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, Arizer Solo II, a dry herb vaporizer […]

L-O-L-A Lola. “I met her in a canna-club down in North Weho Where you can puff on vapes that taste just like cherry cola C-O-L-A cola. She snuck up to me when I puffed on her lips I asked her name and in a smooth clean voice she said, ‘Lola’ L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo […]

A quick lift and a giant shift By Lenny’s own account he was nothing before Dixie Elixir. He could only recall glimpses of a mundane existence spent on the hamster wheel of humanity. Just another cog in the giant machinery of life. His friend (a true friend indeed) had witnessed the embers of a long […]

Herbology & Reflexology: A life science. Before Aunt Denise received her first cannabis oil massage she thought she had known what relaxation was all about. After all, Aunt Denise had a monthly membership to Massage Envy, she owned many scented candles, wore loose fitting pants and she sleeps with a full body pillow. Sometimes she […]