Friday, April 16, 2010

Now to prove I still exist!

Last week was hard. This week has been so much better! I have learned to read Maddy's signs and for that she has been a much happier baby. I am seeing when it's all getting overwhelming, when it's time to nap, when food is needed. Although a routine still eludes us. I know there have to be a few naps but they don't always come at the same time. But we don't wake at the same time either.

We have stopped the crib training. She's sleeping... be it in her bassinet or the swing. At 3 months or so we can try to start the training. I think that was part of what led to the fussy week for her. Hell, the kid was 10 weeks old. Maybe mom should cut her some slack and let her sleep where she's used to. Change can happen at 3+ months! And we have been careful to get out of the house and interact with adults. As much fun as Maddy is and no matter how much I love my house - getting outside is good. Today we head out for sushi with friends. SUSHI! Yum!

But it's sinking in, how absolute motherhood is. There are no vacations, there are no days off, no slacker breaks. There is a tiny (well, not so tiny... 14 pounds, 1 ounce at 11 weeks!) little girl that needs me for everything. And the only breaks I get are her naps, which are my chances to eat (damn, haven't done that yet today) or wash dishes or laundry or clean the bathroom (the last three I did get done this morning). As much as I love her and love being her mom this is my first role in life that is constant. I can take a break from working Wendy, wife Wendy, cleaning Wendy, friend Wendy... but I am always mom. Even when she's not near me I am still present in that mindset.

Well, I have about 15 minutes before I have to wake a sleeping Maddy and get her ready to go! Which is just enough time to throw some makeup on the bags under my eyes and get clean clothes on. And get her diaper bag packed too. Another reason to wish we were breastfeeding. The food is always there and always ready to go *grin*