Letting Go; Making Space; Moving Forward; The Recovery of a Workaholic

It’s been awhile since my last post. Since then, I finished my last I.T. contract, had 2 months off during the summer, closed my jewelry business and started a new I.T. contract…over that time, something deep inside of me shifted.

During the summer I started listening to Bob Marley (this was new to me…I had no idea how awesome he was), wore a lot of sundresses (I’ve never been a “dress” kinda girl), ran around barefoot in the dirt and sand, walked my dog, shed my stress, let my hair loose, lost the makeup…and most importantly, I got real about the things that are truly important to me.

This break gave me an opportunity to consider how I was living my life. Had I been listening to my body, I would have seen the stress and anxiety building in my chest, the feelings of my head being just above water, the digestive issues worsening…my body was telling me I needed a break. It was apparent that something was out of balance: I worked too much.

If I wasn’t working at the office in my IT job, I was working when I got home on 1 of my 2 side-businesses. I’m a very driven individual and if this was a short-term sprint, that’d be OK, however there was always the next thing lined up to work on.

So my summer found me free from my full-time work; I also gave myself permission to be free from my side gigs. Here’s what I realized: I was tired, exhausted in fact; overwhelmed; over-taxed.

Who did that to me? It was me. I set expectations for myself that were fit for a super-hero on speed who has stunt doubles who tag in and out throughout the week. I have no problem with working my ass off, but I know that I need to balance that with regular play-time, down-time, exercise (especially since I sit at a desk most of the day) and the relationships that are important to me need a bit of nurturing.

There I was free for the summer from all of my obligations, realizing that I work too much…1st step – awareness, 2nd step – address problem.

It was time to “make space” and something had to go. I weighed out my options, the pros/cons of each and compared that with the “balance” I’d found over the summer, the balance that felt so good in my soul. This feeling was not something I was willing to give up in the fall when I started my new I.T. contract (unless I had no choice, but in this case I sure did).

It was a surprise re-realization: I’m the only one who can set boundaries for myself and say “no” or “whoa” to others or myself.

My decision was to let go of my “Cheeky Gopher” jewelry business, a business that I started from scratch. This was a fun creative adventure that I started in 2014 and by the summer of 2017, my momentum was steadily building – people were recognizing my products & my brand, my sales were becoming more consistent and I had a beautiful following of amazing, fun, creative people.

This decision was bitter-sweet. A huge benefit of this is I can still “create” simply because I want, rather than creating for profit or to meet customer requests/requirements. There is a freedom and beauty to this type of creativity that feels good in my soul. Freedom feels so luxurious; freedom brings joy to my heart and lifts a HUGE weight off of me.

With that change, I now put in my time at my full-time job every week, come home and take care of me and my family, spending time with the people who mean the most to me, being spontaneous and playful. In my spare time, I can help others by offering Reiki sessions out of my home, which is a win-win because it’s such a different pace than my day-job (Note: My registration as a Reiki Practitioner with the Canadian Reiki Association was processed over the summer and have been loving being able to help others in such a deep, meaningful, holistic way). So that’s what I’m doing.

My biggest lesson is that no matter how much I achieve or accomplish, I am enough just the way that I am. I’m worthy of balance and peace. I’m successful enough, good enough, busy enough.

Previously, I was beating myself into an oblivion, when in fact, I’m human. Although I can do amazing things when I set my mind to it, I don’t have to conquer the entire world in one day (or at all, for that matter). To find this peace, we must look deep within ourselves. No one else can tell us when we are “there”.

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Now & moving forward:

I want to experience life’s moments with all senses (taste, feel, hear, see, smell) rather than running like a hot mess through every day and dropping into bed at the end to repeat the next day.

The more I take care of me, the more I have to offer the world.

The more space I make, the more fulfilling my life becomes.

The better I manage my balance, the more satisfying life feels.

My intention for the remainder of this year & years to come is to:

let go of what’s no longer serving me

follow my heart

trust that my curiosities will take me exactly where I need to go.

let go of worry (I only have this moment, worrying about possible future outcomes helps no one)

let go of reacting out of fear.

I will trust and love and heal…and simply be me.

My question to you is: Is there something in your life that you can let go of because it’s no longer serving you?

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1 Comment

Love this Sheri. Good for you a lot of this resonates with me and how my life is. I cannot see how or what at this stage of my life I can get rid of. But I do see moments of opportunity. I’m going to start there. Thabj you for writing and sharing this. Very happy for you.