Friday, February 16, 2007

Where's the Guide to Chocoholic-Proofing Your Marriage?

I ask you, is pilfering and sampling of one's Valentine's gift by one's spouse (the giver) a good reason to get pissy with said spouse?

A Valentine's heart, pillaged and scavenged, left with only the half-bitten carcasses of unwanted fondant. A clear case of marital (and confectionary) delinquency - but one warranting punishment?

(In my defense, the heart was left, untouched, for two days. Two days. And it was the only source of chocolate in the house. I did not receive chocolate. I deserve, I think, a medal for my restraint.)

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Been to the Basement lately? There's been some interesting discussion of late: issues with pregnancy, issues with activism (!), and, currently, issues with certain manifestations of depression. Those visitors would love to hear from you.

Ah, but it is better on the moral/ethical front than pilfering your children's candy, of which I have been guilty more than once. Too bad I am not Catholic, for I could do penance. Instead I just feel incredibly guilty.

I apparently have a double standard when it comes to chocolate. When I started reading I thought he was eating the chocolate he gave you. I was outraged! But you eating his chocolate...of course that's okay. I mean you waited two days. You're a saint.

After two days it was absolutely, 100% yours for the taking. I did the same to the fuzzy peach slices I got my husband for his Christmas stocking. He has this bizarre ability to leave candy around and not eat it. I've never understood it. :P

Clearly this was an emergency situation so there really is no need for punishment. I mean, in this weather one must use all available chocolate resources to avoid going out and freezing their butt off, right?

Chocolate = every man/woman for themselves! I have been known to hide chocolate in the fruit crisper to keep my seriously choc-a-holic hubby away from my stash. I buy it sometimes wanting it for later but, come later it is gone. For now my secret hiding place is safe.

Just caught up on the Valentine's posts - lovely. And, the tub shots heart-wrenchingly beautiful in words an images.

First of all he bought you no chocolate (Now that is MAJOR delinquency)second he had not touched it in two daysIts a clear-cut case if you ask me.At most you are responsible for the offense of leaving half eaten fondants. Don't do that again or I'll report you to the swiss guards.

OK, I've had enough of this. What she fails to mention is that I did give her chocolate fudge for Valentine's Day. Well, it was a fudge mix, actually, but in a romantic red bag with a cute cookie cutter attached. And it required the addition of butter and milk to make but we had those things in the fridge. It was my best option at 8pm on Valentine's Day. And I gave her a card, too. She gave me a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and that was lovely, but then she makes me open the box right away so she can sample them, often taking one bite and then putting the rest of the chocolate back in the box. What is up with that!? Also, in my defense, I was working long days, the 2 days she "patiently" waited before going on to partially devour my chocolates. And here is another thing. Last September was our ten year anniversary and along with giving her money for a nice dress and taking her out for an excellent meal, I gave her 2 gift certificates – one for Tiffany & Co and one for a fancy spa. Now, months later, she still has not used either. So, I figure that I owe her no more gifts until she redeems those gift certs. How about that? So I ask you… is she Her Bad Mother? Or is she really My Bad Wife?

My sweet teenager gave me a box of chocolates and they were all cream filled. I can't stand the cream filled ones, I mean they're better than a root canal but just not worth the calories in my book. I waited until she was at school and gnawed off the chocolate coverings and threw away the centers. I'm pathetic. :)

You need to buy back up chocolate. My husband did not get me any this year but I got my own ahead of time since I am much better at picking it out than him any way. He goes for cheap waxy chocolate and I love the dark expensive stuff.

What you really need is enough chocolate for everyone and emergency chocolate too. Sorry to say, I don't think it was a morally good decision to eat the gift. Next tie I also recommend buying another box for yourself. One can never have enough chocolate around.

As my sweet bad husband says above, this post should NOT be taken to suggest that he is negligent in the gift-giving department. If I had wanted to take him to task for such negligence, I would have written about the bag of fudge mix that I received from him on St-V Day. MIX. (Granted, it came with a red ribbon and silver heart-shaped fudge cutting thingie, but still. DIY.) But I did not write about the fudge mix because, yes, he did very well with the anniversary gifts this past year.

Still, I submit to you: fudge MIX. Me, alone in a house, with fudge MIX and an untouched box of chocolates, ready-to-eat. What would you have done?

I got so screwed by doing the Exact Same Thing a few years ago! My husband left his birthday chocolate just lying around for an entire WEEK. One day something in me just snapped, and before I knew it I was ripping that wrapper right off in a chocolate-flavored feeding frenzy! An entire week might I remind you all, what's a girl to do...

I do think you should make the time to use those gift certificates though. Shame to let all that pampering go unused.

Let me explain why. First off, Fudge mix? Please! Anything that she has to mix with other ingredients to make into something edible is not a gift. IT IS WORK.

Secondly, the big V-day, it's a fixed day on the calendar. So regardless of how busy you were, or how much you had to work, you knew the big day was rapidly approaching. Which why it is inexcusable to have to go to a store at 8pm that day to buy FUDGE MIX.

Thirdly, the fact that you presented your lovely wife (and she is indeed lovely) with wonderful gifts earlier in the year, which she has still yet to use, does not render you free and clear of purchasing more gifts for her, namely chocolate.

You must remember something, no matter how wonderful you are (and I hear you are pretty wonderful) and how romantic or thoughtful you can be, you will always owe HBM or to you Her Bad Wife, a gift.

Because she will always trump you in that department. Until you figure out how to gestate and deliver a human being through your loins.

Hands down, she wins.

And quit whining. I see one uneaten chocolate in the box. She didn't completely make a pig of herself!

I ALWAYS end up eating most of the chocolate I give my husband. Seems he cares about his figure and I only care about filling that empty chocolate abyss in my belly. I really, really try not to eat the kids chocolates though, b/c then I really feel like a heel. You are quite justified---doesn't chocolate have a shelf life? Two days is much too long to let it sit untouched!

well my toddler comes in handy for chocolates that i bite into and detest.giving them to her makes it ok for me to eat them.family of mine be forwarned that if you leave chocolate especially the dark stuff i will eat it.now if you'll excuse me i hear my husbands secret stash of chocolate calling me....LAVENDULA