Troy here. I'm sorry if this goes on and on but I just read all your posts again and I feel like I have something to say I guess. I wanted to post here because even though it was through a website you still knew my dad and respected him.
It's after midnight and officially 7/5/2012. Exactly one month since my father passed. Is it easier? No. The fact of the matter is I still miss my dad and I would do anything to have him back. Growing up I heard stories about my great-grandfather Roscoe and my great-uncle Art and every story about them ended with "I wish they were alive when you were born" or "I wish they had lived long enough to meet you". And now when I have kids I will have to say the same thing to them about their grandfather.
No one can tell you what will happen when something like this happens. No one will tell you to save voicemails because you will end up treasuring a recording of someone's voice more than anything you own. No one will tell you that the "5 stages of grief" is utter nonsense and you can go through every stage and more numerous times in a day. Let alone how many times you'll go through all of them in a week or a month. No one will tell you that instead of the good, you will focus on the negative/stupid things you said or did to someone you love. Even though that stuff is so insignificant, they wouldn't remember it happening anyway. No one will tell you what you need to do to keep your loved ones from hurting. And all I want to do is help my mom and sister and I'm not sure how.
My dad Tim would have been 54 on July 15. Only 54. I'm 25 and I feel awful thinking this but I have to wonder if I only have 29 years left. 29 years to get married and have children and somehow tell my family everything I want to and need to before I'm gone. 29 years to make an impact like my dad did. He was a sergeant at Shutter Creek Correctional Institute in North Bend, Oregon and despite the stereotypes you see on tv and in movies, even the inmates mourned the loss of my dad. That's how respected he was.
On the day of the service the state sent officers from all around the state to man the prison so that every staff member my dad worked with could make it. The security manager of shutter creek is a member of the Department of Corrections Honor Guard and he is the one who played taps. We had a photo tribute that played and he later said that he was glad he saw it after the service because if he had seen it during the service, he wouldn't have been able to play it and make it through the whole song. And soon I will post the photo tribute video here so all of you can see it too. His coworkers said it was great to see photos of him throughput his life and I'm sure you would all appreciate it too. I'll also post my eulogy. My mom's cousin even asked me for a copy of it. I guess what I said was pretty good.
I'm gonna end it here but before I do I wanna tell a story from the day of my dad's memorial service. I said my eulogy then other people said wonderful things and after taps and the 21 gun salute the service was over. And on the way to the reception I got separated from my mom and sister (the reception hall shared a parking lot with the chapel) because I got bombarded by all my dad's coworkers and former coworkers who came from all over who just wanted to talk to me. Why me instead of my mom or sister? I don't know. My dad and I had a similar personality so maybe that was why. We even laugh the same. But to be honest, I couldn't tell you exactly who I talked to because it was all a blur. But one guy stood out. He was an officer at shutter creek, not much older than me and I guess my eulogy hit him hard becuase he told me with tears in his eyes "I wish I had a relationship with my dad like you did with yours". I just looked at him and said "Is he still alive?" He said "yes" so I just said "Then I think when you get home, you need to call your dad and tell him that" and he was bawling and said "You know, I think I will".
So if you're reading this (and I said this exact same thing in my eulogy) pick up the phone right now and call your parents, siblings, spouse, kids, grandparents, whoever you love. Just call them and tell them that you love them. Because my family found out the hard way that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Hello again. I just wanted to thanks again that all of you reached out. We had the service today and I was able to get through my eulogy. We had it recorded because while my grandma was able to make it up from sacramento my grandfather wasn't since he can't be in a car for more than half an hour, let alone a 10 hour car drive. We are contemplating putting it on youtube so you guys can see it but we'll be making it private so it's not visible to just everybody in the world. While all of you have been wonderful, I don't want to risk it with strangers. But regardless, I'll make sure to post it here for those of you that would like to see it.
My sister wanted to give all of you her email address as well. It's bethchandler@gmail.com She'll be sending out thank you cards soon.
Part of my eulogy was reading some of your comments. I didn't think to include the usernames unfortunately. I hope I don't offend anybody by not picking your post, I honestly just picked ones that i thought my grandma and mom would enjoy the most. But my mom had me print out the entire thread and she has it saved in a book along with his obituary. I'll print off more pages as they come.
My sister got on here and looked at the "favorite posters" thread and saw that you guys were gonna name it the "coastie award". I got a kick out of that and I'm sure my dad would love that.

Hi again, everyone. I figured you'd like to see my Dad's obituary.
http://theworldlink.com/news/local/obituaries/timothy-james-chandler/article_2e8d3a8d-c7b0-503a-b76d-80222fba6cfc.html
I'd like to get a recent picture of him on here since the picture we used for the obituary is his boot camp graduation picture but I don't know how.

I just got an email from Troy Calhoun, the head coach of the Air Force Falcons football team sending his condolences. I'm just amazed that the news reached him and that he reached out. I don't know how the news reached him but I'm so thankful he sent the email and I responded back thanking him.
I just wrote out what I'm gonna say at the service and I included some of the great things you've written about my dad and I'm gonna share it with everybody. I'm sending the link to family as well.
Again, you've all been so wonderful. Thank you.

I don't know of any problems with paypal. Again, the email you send it to is chandlertroy@gmail.com and select "personal" then "payment" so there's no fees.
I just showed this to my mom and she is amazed. She wants me to tell all of you thanks for everything you've said. We're talking to the chaplain from the prison he worked andf he's officiating the service and he and the superintendant of the prison are also arranging for the honor guard to come and do the 21 gun salute and have a coworker play taps. I really pushed for that since it seems like the best thing to do for my dad at the service.

Hello, this is Troy again. I want to say how wonderful you've all been to me, my mom Terrie and my sister Beth. I showed them what you've all said and it's helped so much to know that there are such kind people in this world.
It's been suggested that I set up a paypal account for donations because some people would rather send money than flowers. I feel weird asking for money but you can send money on there by finding my email address which is chandlertroy@gmail.com and sending it as a "personal payment". Customer service said if you do it that way then there won't be any charges.
Again, thanks to all of you. I'm glad my dad got to know and talk to all of you.

God this is so amazing. Thank you. All of you. I actually just found his aircrew wings from his coast guard days and gave them to my mom since he always said she was the reason he was able to get them since she helped him study for the tests. lol. He worked for the state of Oregon in the Department of Corrections as a sergeant and I gave his 140th anniversary of DOC badge to my sister Beth and I got his regular uniform badge. I've been holding onto it all day which helped when we made the arrangements and had the viewing. My mom had her sister Bonnie who's been a huge help here and my sister had her fiancee Dustin (he was in the marines) there for her but I just had the badge which is exactly what I needed when I had my alone time to say goodbye to him.
Again, thanks to all of you.

Mike/afacademydad, thank you so much. I'm having issues with posting on scout.com, it just says "NT" when I try to post there and don't know why.
I gotta say, all the love and support coming from you guys mean so much. My mom bookmarked this thread so she can come and see how you guys felt about my dad so please keep it coming. I'm trying to hang in there for the sake of my mom and sister and I'm not always successful right now but being called lil coastie got a good laugh out of me so thank you smarog69.

Hello everyone. I am coastie's son Troy. I am sorry to tell you that my Dad Tim passed away yesterday from a heart attack. I wanted to post here because I knew he was on here for years and knew and talked with alot of you and I knew he'd want me to tell all of you. If you'd like to send any condolences to my Mom Terrie her email is chandler2220@aol.com or you can email me at chandlertroy@gmail.com and I can pass them along. I want to say thanks in advance in case I'm unable to later. I'll also come back and check this thread.
The memorial service will be this sunday the 10th at 11:00 am at The Coos Bay Chapel in Coos Bay, Oregon. The website is http://www.coosbayfh.com/ which has the address if anyone wants to send flowers or anything.
Again, I'm sorry to tell all of you like this but it's the only way I knew how. My Dad really enjoyed this forum. I remember him just recently showing me a thread where someone was picking movie characters for forum members and he picked Buzz Lightyear for my Dad. He got a big kick out of that.
Thank you.

It is now 26-26. It's a classic "nature versus nurture" argument right in front of my eyes. Bluetools has the innate gift from the womb of being difficult, while the Convert has the upbringing of following Reno football to bring nothing to the conversation!
Man, if we had funny commercials, it'd be better than the Superbowl!!