Drugs are bad: Many baseball writers are troubled by suspected performance-enhancing drug users Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Roger Clemens being on their Hall of Fame ballot. So, they’ll drink coffee and smoke cigarettes to help get through it.

Trade winds: Rumors continue to swirl about possible trades involving disgruntled Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton. The unnamed source of the rumors has been hiding his identity by using the alias Stiancarlo Ganton.

If you build it … The Field of Dreams baseball field will be converted into a baseball mega-complex. So, the magic can continue for fans of all ages … and for Ray Liotta who was last seen living in the cornfields.

Misnomer: The Giants’ Sergio Romo got in a dispute with the TSA in Las Vegas on New Year’s Day. He was overheard saying, “For crying out loud, I am not related to Tony Romo!”

Big fan: A Wichita man’s collection of 500 Ken Griffey, Jr. baseball cards were stolen from his house, but fortunately his collection of Griffey’s game-worn jockstraps were spared.

Handicapable: After signing with Texas, Lance Berkman has pledged to put up big offensive numbers to win over the Rangers fanbase … within the 30 games he’ll be healthy enough to play.

Repeat offender:Andruw Jones’ wife has filed for divorce after a physical altercation between the two. Another contract with Andruw Jones that someone desperately wants out of.

Bringing up the rear: Recently signed Detroit Tigers outfielder Torii Hunter said that having a gay teammate would be “uncomfortable” … Just the first time, Torii.

B’more cautious: Orioles’ manager Buck Showalter is working on getting an extension in Baltimore. Careful you don’t get crabs.

Extra Innings

Calling it quits: The Ravens’ Ray Lewis will retire from the NFL after this season, the Baltimore Police Department has announced.

The eagle has landed: Andy Reid has signed to become the next coach of the Kansas City Chiefs. The team is already 0-3 for next season.

Knee jerk: During the NFC playoff game between the Seahawks and Redskins it was confirmed that RGIII is not Gumby.

Jed Rigney covers general baseball randomness for Through The Fence Baseball. His work has been described as "prolific" (which isn't really a compliment). Despite a series of destructive relationships with uncaring women, he has persevered. He is an Aries and therefore quite courageous. He has never been arrested (though he was once "detained" briefly). And he hopes to one day see Gary Busey actually turn a tornado into a rainbow -- if only just once.