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Captain’s Log… ETA April 2017

I know the LORD has confirmed to me to remain where I am, despite secretly applying for intriguing opportunities here and there. I guess it’s the flesh-based impulse to prove that I can secure a better pay, or be surrounded in a diverse environment where I can develop new friendships and possibly secure networking partners. The reality is… it ain’t gonna happen. I’m not doubting myself, but I know when I cross my line of faith with the LORD.

I may pen a separate reflection about it later.

Loud confirmation #1 – Entertainment

For those who know me, I have a thing for video games – since 1989 when I was 4 years of age. Back in the day when I kept God inside a red emergency box, I once sought to be a video games designer with a view to live and work in California. The selfish ambition was no more when I was born-again on Friday 4th February 2005.

It hasn’t stopped me reading about the games industry, or follow the latest trends in technology. Yes, I still like and play video games, but I’m no longer consumed by levelling up and seeing my ‘Playing Time’ eat away my precious time here on earth. And it’s even more annoying that I want to buy some new titles this holiday season including Civilisation VI and Planet Coaster. I have yet to pre-order any game and I’m not quite sure if and when I will buy the titles in the coming months. I last formally played a video game for 2 hours on 14th August 2016.

As I’ve shared a couple of months ago, my custom-built Intel Skylake desktop PC only has Windows 10 Professional with Adobe Creative Cloud. Essentially, it is my powerhouse workstation for productivity. Even my Lenovo business laptop is merely used for “business” purposes only. Again, no games installed whatsoever. Oh, and not forgetting my humble MacBook Pro laptop. Again, no games installed… just some work-based applications including Microsoft Office 2016, programming tools, and a second license of Adobe Creative Cloud.

The only games that I do play are two mobile games: Clash of Clans and Boom Beach. Each day, I spend literally 2 minutes collecting resources and that’s it. I am bored even though I admire the simple game mechanics and the nature of the freemium (free-to-play) business model.

Lastly, I generally consume 30 minutes per week watching TV, which is basically a comedy quiz show on BBC iPlayer. After the 6-8 episodes are aired… that’s it – I literally don’t watch TV, except when there is a new series of Sherlock on the BBC. I don’t even have a television in my room, and I don’t subscribe to Amazon Prime, Netflix, Apple TV, or cable. I will buy Blu-ray discs for films that I think are worth watching again, or because it’s a fun animation from Pixar or Disney. Other than that… I’m not exactly a movie buff either.

Loud confirmation #2 – Work

As mentioned recently, my 1-year internship contract has been extended by at least 4 months. For me, that’s four extra months of pay that I can use to save and invest for the future. The timing is interesting because I’m considering investing in key courses related to this Kingdom-focus vision. I also want to invest in certain equipment so I can learn the artisan craft and experiment from the house, before I approach folk to employ a working prototype.

Though I have openly expressed to my parents that I desire to find work down south, they have openly encouraged me to use the privacy and space that I already have access to. I know I will never secure the privacy or space if I’m to home share with a bunch of strangers. Fair play, I may earn more money down south (pre-tax), but after the tax and national insurance and monthly rent and food bills, I’m better off with my parents for a wee bit longer. At the same time, I know my parents are transitioning in life and I want to be available to help them around the house. I see it as a privilege more than a burden. It’s challenging, yet a real blessing when you have an incredibly small family unit.

At the same time, I really hope I can be exposed to learning more about server management (or management in general) at work, which is a personal desire right now. It is directly linked to what I want to learn in preparation for this Kingdom-focus vision. I know I can pay for some accredited courses with Microsoft and other vendors to be certified, but really, we all learn better when we put that knowledge into practice. Plus it would look good on paper, when I formally approach investors and apply for external funding. Most likely, I will be approaching an ethical bank.

Also because of my work ethic and can-do attitude at work, the senior management are desperate to secure and extend my service. In a way, I can use that to my advantage, but I know God’s timing is perfect and I know the LORD has blessed me with this current opportunity to learn and grow. I do however find the job physically exhausting, but I trust the LORD knows what He is doing.

Loud confirmation #3 – Brexit

Having voted on the EU Referendum earlier this year, I still cannot help but feel excited that this is the best window of opportunity to start a business in Britain. While a good majority are up in arms about independent nations, and wanting to reclaim the glory days of past corruption – I am looking ahead, much like the British Government, which I confess – I am impressed with Teresa’s leadership and forward-thinking response.

I could take advantage of the EU funding and grants, but I am going to concentrate on the ethical sources of funding, because this Kingdom-focus vision will be ethical from the top-down. Otherwise, it’s just another business venture looking to exploit financial loopholes and profit from the vulnerable.

I am also cautiously optimistic about Trump securing a win in the U.S. Presidential Elections. I appreciate the Bible Belt *cough* Republican voters *cough* will be mostly relieved that Trump won. Of course, it depends on what denomination you align yourself with. I know I can write a deep reflection and share my thoughts regarding the U.S. Elections, but the result doesn’t exactly surprise me. Anyhow, you can moan in discontent with whatever President / Government that is running the country, but it’s our duty as born-again Christians to be praying for all of these leaders around the world, no matter where we’re based.

Subtle confirmation #1 – Focus

It has taken me years… and I mean years to trust in the LORD to cleanse my available time and money away from worldly mediums to re-align my heart with a genuine desire to serve and build for the Kingdom of God.

I know I have itchy feet to travel and explore new places, and of course, I also desire for a Christian wife… but I know it is not the time to move, travel or be entangled with a Christian wife who will consume my available time that I want to give to God. I’m not saying relationships and marriage are a waste of time. I’m not saying or suggesting that.

I do know however that certain types of people of the opposite sex are more needy, and I’m the quiet type who needs my own space – thank you very much! I have known folk who need to hold hands whilst watching a movie or walking casually. Seriously? Why do you want to hold hands to watch the Lord of the Rings? I also know of folk who want to absorb one’s available time and money to do something new and different at every-given-time, something which I am not ready to surrender, purely because of this Kingdom-focus vision.

Do you know how easy my flesh wants to surrender this vision? There is no value for me in selling this USP (unique selling point) to interested parties. I’m not even pursuing this for my own reputation or portfolio. My flesh tells me to *enjoy* life and settle down. I know I want to settle down. I know I want to snuggle with a Godly Christian wife and share my life with her. I know I want to have kids who burp, fart and cry. I know I want to delight my parents in seeing the next generation. I know I want to honour God in desiring to be a responsible and Godly husband and parent. Yes, I’m willing to continue to save the first kiss and all, but I’m not ready to surrender myself for another person, when I’m earnestly surrendering myself to God. Do you not know how exciting it is to pursue the LORD as your first love, above everything else – like truly above everything else?

I sadly know that if I do choose to settle down now, I will very likely abandon this vision because of that time that is needed to invest… unless for some far-fetched miracle, she is called to the very same Kingdom-focus vision. Hence, for obvious reasons, I’m not spilling the beans on this Kingdom-focus vision in the public realm. It is also that focus and constant question that I ask the LORD, how can I build and serve for Your Kingdom Come, especially when the obvious is closed shut and the mission field is being present among the lost.

Subtle confirmation #2 – Team

It is common knowledge that I don’t officially have any business partners or co-founders as yet. Nothing in terms of words of agreement or written contracts. Strangely, I’m not worried about it either. However, I know I’m not to do this alone… much like a church planter (otherwise, the pride will kick-in and kill the project). However, I want to be targeting April 2017 to formalise something…

Curiously, an immediate family member has now retired from work. Due to obvious reasons, I cannot see this member as a co-founder, but I do know God has blessed this person’s health for a reason. I’m fully aware that God *may* want to use me to reach out, possibly to disciple and nurture this family member through this Kingdom-focus vision. Already, I know we are reconciling in our hearts, which is a healthy development.

This family member is very good with numbers and has many years in the construction industry. Though I have vowed to not pursue this Kingdom-focus vision as a family business, I’m striving to keep an open mind to what God may want me to partner with, as I continue to seek mature believers with sufficient life experience.

For me, it is paramount that I seek mature believers, as I want honest people who have a passion for the lost (i.e. The Great Commission outside the doors of the local church). Young believers will often use you to springboard somewhere else, but not so much with mature believers.

It is also why I am cautious to actively search for a Christian wife, as I don’t want to be seen with worldly eyes of taking advantage of… with a view of thinking – oh, he is loaded with earthly riches. I have previously shared that I’ve turned down interested hearts even though I want to guard my heart to focus primarily on the LORD. I mean… who does that in todays day and age? After all, the 21st century status update is purely your marital status and who you physically lean on. For the record, I’m not freaked out about commitment with a significant other, it’s just I really need the LORD more than anything right now, and I want to fully lean on the LORD as my tower and strength.