I took the Bar Exam more than once, several times actually, and lived to tell the tale....retakers take heart...the bar is a bitch...but not impossible...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Dear Bar Bitch.....

I get a lot of commentary here on "The Bitch"...all of which I appreciate...I sift through and make the decision to post or not to post mainly for the sake of not making the blog too insanely long....and not too mushy, even though I really do feel the love that gets sent here....cause you guys kick ass and you all know it....

A lot of common themes run through the mountain of unposted comments, so I thought I'd address a few.....and ask what you guys think too.....

What do you tell people when they ask how many times you've flunked the bar exam? Uhhhh....I tell them I've flunked it one time too many....and then I ask them how their sex life is.....frequently an even more uncomfortable silence ensues....hey, are they asking me out of concern for my welfare? or is something else going on? like they're trying make me feel like shit?

Why do you think people take time to bash people who haven't passed the bar? Oh this is a fabulous question...Fear. Plain and simple baby. Anyone who feels anything other than genuine compassion for ye who haven't passed yet, is scared out their mind. If they've already passed, then it' s some other fear, fear of not measuring up somewhere in life, because what is the Bar really except a very public ruler of measuring up to an ideal of something? A secure person understands this test for what it is...and feels no need to belittle you....

How can you be so positive all the time? Are you happy you failed? It's kind of weird. No I am not happy I failed, but I'll take it...I'm not going to curl up and die.....it's a test.... I have met people who are succeeding under conditions that are beyond anything I could even imagine....if they can do it, I can too...and if I can survive my little drama at 28...I can't think of much worse the law can throw at me later...think maybe I'll lose a case? An appeal? Boo...fucking....hoo....

I don't think it's weird to be upbeat....I used to be pretty freaking depressed, I like upbeat better...I'm not going to judge how you get through this time, should you choose a more sedate route....just thought you might like to know that there are plenty of other competent, intelligent, unlucky people out there struggling though this time in their own unique way as well....

It seems fine to blog about failing in cyberspace, but how do you really tell people you failed? Like the people you work with especially? I agree...a lot of what I do here gives me a measure of padding and that is part of why I love it so....probably best to think in advance about what it is that you'd like to tell people about how you did on the bar...if you want to tell them anything at all...maybe all you owe them is, "Nope, didn't get it this time, it was a real bitch,"....."how are you doing though?"....this is so incredibly personal....there is no good answer I can give you....but being prepared will probably make you feel better.....

Are you a hottie bar flunkie? Why don't you post a picture on "The Bitch" so we can see you? These are the ones that amuse me most....even in the middle of failing the bar exam we are still seeking some hot action....love it, really and truly....what a hoot.....

Hi, I just wanted to say that I read your site and I like it. I'm sending a link to one of my friends who failed the MA bar exam in July.

I sat for and passed the NJ and PA bar exams in July. However, some of my friends didn't. The wrird/stupid thing about the bar exam is that, at least in PA, the grading is so damn subjective. Only one grader reads each question (we have seven essays, with 5 subparts each, and a different grader reads every question) and yet he/she still seems to deviate on what passes or fails. I'm not even sure if I deserved to pass!

Lots of people fail the bar, it's nothing to be ashamed of, get back on the horse and I know all of you guys will pass. Good luck!!!

i wholeheartedly agree with all of the above. why be depressed when you can be upbeat? it works for me :) also, maybe one problem IS that we are hot? maybe that creeeeeepy bar proctor flunked us because he wants to see us for the next exam? could be. also, no matter what we look like, failing the bar a few times makes us hotter than a picnic on Mars because we get back up and do it all again - we do not curl up in a whiny little ball of self pity. what's not to love about determination, persistence and the aforementioned upbeat personality. eeeeek! studytime starts tomorrow for me. good luck!

I've taken a total of 5 bar exams... and failed the first three. Everyone who's been there gets nothing but sympathy and empathy from me. You feel like complete shite-- it's a cruel, demeaning process to go through all that and not see your name or number when the results are posted. Compounding the humiliation the last time, my wife was deployed to Iraq when they released the scores, so I had NO ONE other than the kids to comfort me, and they were little if any help in that regard. So, having said that, here's the deal... don't ever quit, and when you've fallen, pick yourself up, clean the gravel and sand out of your teeth, bactine any other abrasions, get at least one good drunk on... and then drive on. The only shame is quitting.