Which brings us to today’s press conference, an hour-long suckfest in which Bjorn Rebney dutifully tried to convince us that he was both a tried and true MMA fan and honestly excited about the prospect of watching the two half-asleep gentlemen sitting on either side of him fight in the near future. He tried, dammit.

Being that your time is way too valuable to spend an hour of it watching Rebney stroke two former champions egos to full completion while they both push their newfound love of the sport on us like a Ronco Rotisserie, we’ve recapped some most notable moments from yesterday’s press conference after the jump.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson got into a car in New York City one afternoon this week, headed to Connecticut. Shortly after he sat down I asked where, specifically, he was headed to in Connecticut and why.

“I’m going to a little place called, ‘None of your damned business.’”

A standard tongue-in-cheek answer from Jackson, really. He was headed to Connecticut to visit a doctor of his.

The former UFC champion is currently on the mend from a number of injuries. He’s also at the start of what he is optimistic will be a flourishing new career with Bellator and Viacom.

After walking out on the UFC earlier this year, Jackson announced in early June that he had signed with the Viacom-owned Bellator Fighting Championships. He will fight there, wrestle on the TNA pro wrestling circuit, appear in a reality show airing on Spike and, he hopes, star in Paramount Pictures films, also owned by Viacom.

Despite this windfall of opportunity, I was a bit concerned for Jackson as an outside observer. Increasingly, he’s sounded less like the terrorizing, hungry fighter that became a world champion and more like an aging veteran content to show up, take lumps and collect a pay check.

“I know that realistically I probably won’t win all my fights in Bellator. But I’ll be damned if I won’t entertain people. I’m going to come over and put on the most exciting fights.”

That sentiment sounded generous, surely, but also a bit unsafe. In response, I wrote that “When a fighter who used to once be driven to be the best now simply hopes to titillate spectators by hitting and being hit, however, it can be a bad sign of damage to come.”

My concern was unfounded, though, Jackson says. Either I wasn’t listening or I didn’t get what he was saying.

(If this is a bad time, Mike, we can come back later | Photo via CombatLifestyle)

We just read a Q&A between the Las Vegas Sun and strength, conditioning, and diet specialist Mike Dolce — he prefers the term “performance coach” — and you should too. Dolce has worked with some of the biggest names in MMA in recent years, helping them get healthy and, notably, drop tons of weight before fights.

In the interview, Dolce discusses up-and-coming clients of his, who he thinks will become world champions next, his toughest projects ever, what his plan for Daniel Cormier is, and more. Check out some highlights below and then head over to the Sun to read the rest.

Chael was 233 pounds six weeks before the Michael Bisping fight. To go from 233 to 185 in six weeks is insane. The hardest issue — I would have to say Rampage is the hardest I’ve ever had to deal with. Not because he was the biggest or heaviest because he wasn’t. I helped Duane Ludwig lose 42 pounds in 13 days to fight Jim Miller on short notice here in Las Vegas. He went from 198 to 156 in 13 days with my coaching. It took eight weeks to do the same with Quinton.

Now it was so much easier with Duane because Duane is a professional; he’s a good guy with a big heart. He just got down to the business of working with no complaints, no objections, no obstacles. Some of these other guys, Rampage being one of them, everything was a challenge. He’s shown that not just with myself but with every business deal he’s ever been in.

On what made Jackson such a “challenging” client before his 2010 fight against Rashad Evans:

The past week or so has been an exciting one for fans of Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. It’s also been a little bit of a worrisome one as well.

Jackson has gushed about his new deal with Bellator and the TNA Impact professional wrestling organization. He says he’ll only be asked to fight when he wants to, that he’s excited to finally get to try out a long-time love of his — pro wrasslin’ — and that the Viacom family that owns Bellator might create opportunities for him on television and in movies, through their Paramount pictures movie house.

Jackson left the UFC earlier this year, not just on a three-fight losing streak, but also embittered by what he felt was poor treatment from the organization. Likening promoter/fighter relationships to that of personal, romantic ones, Jackson told CagePotato last week, “…me and Bellator, we tongue kissing right now, baby.”

The fan in me has a soft spot for Jackson. Like many of you, I’ve watched him fight for over a decade. He’s always done so with courage and in exciting fashion. Back in the day, “Rampage” may have also been the most accessible top fighter in the world. There was a time where he set up a phone line specifically for fans. He made the number public and waited for calls. When they came in, he’d pick up whenever he was available, and chat with whoever wanted to talk to him.

Not a whole lot to dislike about a guy like that, right? So, if Jackson has found a new, better situation for himself, where he feels happy, no one can begrudge him that.

The thing is, we’ve seen this situation play out before with the fighter. Being enamored with an organization before ultimately souring on them, and feeling rejected and disrespected when it was all over. While with Pride, Jackson often seemed quite happy. He defended the Japanese promotion in public and compared it favorably to its competitor at the time, the UFC.

By the time the UFC signed Jackson, however, he acted as if it was a life-saving event. I remember speaking with Jackson near the end of his Pride tenure and again shortly after he’d signed with the UFC.

At that time, Jackson didn’t only express satisfaction with his new UFC contract, he spoke of Dana White as if he were a personal friend who had saved him and done him a favor. Six or so years later, Jackson and White routinely trash each other publicly.

During a media conference call last week, Jackson said that Bellator promoter Bjorn Rebney is a guy who “gets it,” and is the type of boss he’s been waiting for his entire career. Jackson says that things are different this time around.

Although we’ve had our fun mocking Page’s downward spiral from the sidelines over the years, we truly (and somewhat secretly) have been holding onto the hope that we would one day see the Rampage of old — the aforementioned jive-talking world-beater — back in action whenever he finally found a promotion that “appreciates him.”

Well good news, Potato Nation, as it appears that Rampage has finally found said promotion…in Bellator.

According to those same sources, Jackson’s new deal will be similar to the one Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal signed with the promotion last year, which gave him the opportunity to appear on TNA Impact Wrestling programming on Spike TV. Jackson has flirted with the idea of pursuing a pro wrestling career in the past, and it seems as though he will soon get a chance to showcase himself as a sports entertainer.

Jackson’s Bellator debut has yet to be finalized, but a fall date appears to be a possibility. Bellator would not confirm the new contract when contacted by MMAFighting.com.

Rampage is giving back to the community and hosting a free self defense seminar for women on March 28th.

Who wants to bet that Page’s first bit of sage-like defense advice will be to purchase a pair of his patented anti-rape shoes? After staring at a pair for over an hour at my local Foot Locker the other day, I’ve determined that the only possibly explanation for the millipede-like protrusions on the underside of those things is that they act like some sort of Inspector Gadget spring device when someone is cornered. Or being raped.

“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*

Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.

All 22 fighters scheduled to compete on tomorrow night’s UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson card will be hitting the scales live from the Chicago Theatre in, you guessed it, Chicago starting at 5 p.m. EST. Luckily for you, we will be hosting a video of the weigh-ins RIGHT HERE. I know, right? The things we do to ensure that you guys are happy.

Anyway, the weigh-ins kick off in just a few minutes, so get in here for all the action!

(Quick poll – Which is funnier: Miller’s hair or Shields’ attempt at a mean mug?)

You can hate on the over-the-top theatrics of professional wrestling all you want, but there’s no denying the sport’s influence on the world of MMA. Do you think we would have ever seen Jonathan Ivey break out “The People’s Elbow” in a fight if The Rock hadn’t done it first? And how about that Chael Sonnen character, who we would all just write off as another boring wrestler if not for his Billy Graham-esque heel routine? The list goes on and on, but greater than the signature moves, greater even than the whimsical trash-talking pro wrasslin’ has inspired in our great sport, is the post-fight cage confrontation.

It has been responsible for some of the most unintentionally hilarious highs and Gus Johnsony lows that MMA has ever seen, yet we can’t seem to look away when such an inherently silly situation is presented in the aftermath of a fight. The UFC clearly understands this, and in an effort to set up everyone’s dream match of Anderson Silva vs. Jon Jones Georges. St. Pierre, both the UFC and Silva’s manager have hinted that not only is the middleweight champ going to be in attendance at UFC 154, but should St. Pierre emerge victorious, the two will face off in the cage and lay the foundation for the next great MMA superfight. So with that in mind, we’ve compiled a brief, albeit memorable, video tribute to the post-fight confrontation. Enjoy.

(Whenever Rampage grabs his nuts in public, there will always be at least one man in the background, staring at his ass with an intense mixture of sadness and longing.)

Not that he ever had real evidence of the UFC trying to sabotage him as he’s implied many times — in between saying that the organization and Dana White saved his life, of course — but it is now official that the UFC does just about all it can to promote and give Quinton “Rampage” Jackson opportunities.

Jackson has publicly maintained that he wants to fight just one more time for the UFC because he hasn’t received enough respect from them or gotten match-ups that he likes. Even as he apparently readies to leave the organization he was light heavyweight champion of, it turns out that the UFC offered Jackson a role as team coach on TUF 17, opposite of Chael Sonnen, before they offered current champ Jon Jones the job, which he accepted. Jackson, of course, turned down the chance to coach TUF for a second time and to fight Sonnen at the end of the season.