Tag: happiness

Well don’t get me wrong, I am not always angry. I just feel like such a negative person. I complain a lot, and I do very negative things that I would tell others not to, and to be the bigger person.

For example, I can be extremely hypocritical, I will yell at my boyfriend for saying something completely rude and do something similar in the next 30 minutes. To be even more honest with you, there are 100 other examples. I tell myself that it’s not fair, and I wish I wasn’t that way, I don’t like being that way. But I guess it’s important that I know it’s wrong.

Other times, for some awful reason, I really like to start arguments. Believe me it is not my proudest ability. I don’t know whether it’s the attention or the feeling of “winning” but I like to argue. It usually starts out as me wanting to talk about a problem or my opinion, but ends up with me screaming or something else that is completely idiotic.

I feel like this makes me sound like a completely awful person, I think it is important that I acknowledge things about myself. That I know how have an area to work on in my communication skills and that as I grow and learn things will become easier.

Does anyone else feel disappointed in themselves for not necessarily being the person they tell others to be?

I’ve got some down time for once, so here are my thoughts. Thanks for reading!

I’ve already been out of school for over a month, but summer literally just started (I mean the summer solstice). It’s so crazy to me that time has flown by, and. I feel like I’ve wasted it.

Which I mean that’s probably not true, I’ve done a few fun things. For the most part though I’ve been working my butt off. I work at a children’s clothing store, and I just got offered a manager position (which is crazy ’cause I only started in March). I’ve been training, learning and busting my butt.

Unfortunately because it’s summer time and my job is in retail, I end up working weird hours. Some days I open, others I close, sometimes I work smack dab middle of the day. Because of that I feel like I see no one. My parents work 9 to 5 jobs, so it’s really tricky to see them. Then there’s my boyfriend and best friend who also have jobs, and also work weird hours. My boyfriend works WAY more then I do, so anytime he’s available I jump at the chance to see him. My best friend has basically completely opposite hours of each other (or at least it seems that way. We are push on not seeing each other for a week and it feels much longer).

It’s just so crazy that the world is passing by and well everything that is happening to me. I feel like I need to be making fun mermories instead of just “work” memories.

Anyone have any ideas on what to do to add a little life into the rest of my summer?

I know it has been a while since I last posted but I couldn’t come up with anything good. Instead I am just gonna give a little update or look into my life.

Yesterday I got to go to my college and plan my schedule for next year, but before I got to do that I got to sit through about 4 hours of presentations that were just the same thing over and over again (it made the whole day drag on and I was so ready for it to be over).

My selected major is Nursing, which is something I am very passionate about. There is a downside though, my choice school has the 3rd best nursing school in the state which makes the process of getting into the Nursing school much harder. A lot of it is grades and taking certain courses (as it is for most degrees) but this is really a make it or break it thing because each semester the school only selects about 90 students (and trust me when I say there is a LOT of pre-nursing students in the Class of 2021 at my University).

Thankfully for me though I am very confident, and 100% believe that I can study hard enough and get fantastic grades to become a part of the Nursing school. What made it even better is that I am already ahead of schedule for pre-nursing students. This is because I already have 1 of my 6 science classes finished (which is super exciting!!!). And kinda unexpected, my advisor seemed really impressed and was very excited to see me ahead of the game.

Anyway getting to pick my schedule just made me think about how excited and passionate I am about getting this education and creating a new life for myself.

I have been with the same boy for the last 3 years. Which might be crazy to hear considering I am only 18. (That isn’t the point though).

When we first started dating, which was our freshman year of high school. I was completely clueless, which I mean most people are when it comes to their first serious relationship. The internet filled my head with images and ideas of what my relationships should be like. The cute text messages, the cuddly pictures, you’re significant other constantly talking about you, and so many other things that truthfully are just not necessary.

At first, I thought that I needed that to be happy. I wanted my boyfriend to constantly text me, surprise me with gifts, and only spend time with me. Basically, I thought the relationship was ONLY supposed to be about me and my feelings. Those things I found on the internet filled my head with bullshit. I didn’t know what I was doing so I guess I figured the internet could show me how. Now I’m not saying that those things should or shouldn’t happen in your relationship, I am saying that these “goals” are mediocre. They are not actual goals, just things that happen (or don’t happen) naturally, and they come with time.

My point is that as I grew in this relationship I learn more and more about my boyfriend. And those “stereotypical” goals came and went and we moved on to bigger more important things. We learned how to communicate and be happy with just each other, and I didn’t need the internet’s help anymore.

What I hope you take from this is that seeing someone else’s relationship shouldn’t make you feel any different about your own. Seeing “goals” from other couples doesn’t mean those should be your only goals. Figure out what works for you and your significant other.

Within the last month, I have found myself completely unfriending and unfollowing “friends” social media accounts.

By “friends” I mean people who go to my school, live in my town or even people I’ve seen walking down the street. They really aren’t friends but I find myself becoming interested in their life choices, or really what they choose to post on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Like I said I’ve started to unfollow people I don’t really care for. By doing this I feel like I am getting away from the negativity, uncontrollable nosiness, and leaving behind people I generally don’t have any interest in. I think it will make me happier, but if it really upsets you here is your answer:

To those who I have unfollowed,

Maybe it was because I don’t like you, but that is okay. If it really bothers you, I am sorry. I hope one day you can get over it.

Maybe it was because I don’t like what you post. It could be about your opinions, it could be that what you post is always negative. If it makes me upset to see what you constantly post then why should I follow you?

Maybe it is because we aren’t friends. We may just be acquaintances, but that is okay by me. If I really want to get to know you I would take the time out of my day, and not just scroll through your feed of pictures.

There are probably better reasons out there, but I just want to go forward with people I love and with lots of happiness. So please excuse me if I no longer want to be your “Facebook friend”. You keep doing you and I will keep doing me.

I just graduated high school, and before I head off on my own I want to learn somethings about myself and the world. Here’s a list of what I hope to learn:

How to love myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I do love myself. I just want to be more appreciative myself and everything I offer.

2. Live in the moment.

I only have a few months before I leave my family, friends and my “normal” life of the last 18 years. I want to cherish everything I do with my best friend, my boyfriend, my brother and sisters because there’s the chance I am going to be missing a lot.

3. Become more open to different opinions.

College is where you meet new people and that means a lot of new opinions. In the world we live in today, everyone has an opinion on everything. I have to remember that just because my opinion isn’t the same as some else’s does not mean that my opinion is wrong, or their’s is any less important. I must have an open mind and be willing to listen rather than answer or defend.

4. Be my own best friend.

I am going to be leaving everyone I love. My best friend and I are going to different colleges. My boyfriend is doing his own thing. My parents are letting me go. While I know that they will still be with me in spirit, and only a text message or a phone call away it is going to be different. (Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t me saying I’m not gonna make new friends, it will just be another new experience.) I want to be able to comfort myself and be my own best friend when it’s needed.

5. Learn to let go and be more forgiving.

I am the worst at letting things go. I hold onto grudges for an incredibly long amount of time. I still don’t like people who have wronged me or my friends. I can forgive people, but even that takes a while, but letting go is a whole different thing to me. It’s gonna be a lot more difficult. I want to be a better person, a more forgiving person. I already know this isn’t gonna be easy for me, but I am up for anything.

6. What makes me happy.

More or less I want to discover more things about myself. It’s as simple as that.

7. It’s okay to be alone.

Alone time is great, but I prefer to “be alone, together” type of person. I think it is important for me to learn and appreciate being alone. Being by myself for whatever reason.

Overall I want to know who I am, and better my personal values. Become a better person, and be more welcoming.

Who am I?

As you guessed by the title of my blog My Life As Faith my name is Faith. I live in the Midwest in the land of cheeseheads and I am getting ready to start my journey into the real world. By the “real world” I mean college. This is the summer of trying new things I am trying to be healthier by eating better and exercising daily (which is a lot easier said than done). So figured I would try blogging as well, so I mean why not?

I enjoy being outside and doing new things, but more than likely you can find me sitting in bed watching Netflix. I love my family and don’t know what I would do without them. They truly are everything to me. This also includes my boyfriend and best friend but I can tell you more about them later. I enjoy watching conspiracy theory videos and family vloggers on Youtube. Lifestyle bloggers are probably some of my favorites because I think, “hey maybe I can take some tips from them and get my life together” but that really doesn’t work. I think they truly make blogging an art because their lives and opinions just seem so interesting.

I hope someone out here finds me as interesting as I find other lifestyle bloggers.