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Monday, September 16, 2013

September 15, 2013 Nurturing A Healthy Heart: Self-Control

Galatians
5:22-23

James 3:2-12

Next week we will complete our series of message on the Fruits of the Spirit.Today’s is the last in the list – self-control – but we’ll do the first
one in the list – love – for the
final message.

Sometimes
we use the expression saving the best for
last.In this case, I think
Paul placed the toughest one in the last at the end.Self-control is tough.

Back in the late 60s and early 70s there was a series of studies
sponsored by Stanford University.Called the Marshmallow Test,
it took groups of children and offered them a choice – a marshmallow, or a
cookie immediately – or a bigger reward if they could wait for fifteen minutes
or more.Out of hundreds of
children in the tests, less than a third were able to exercise self-control to
get the reward.

Interestingly, in the follow-up tests done in later years the
researchers found that the group able to exercise self-control did better in
life.They had better grades,
better test scores, and did better in life in general.

Businesses understand our struggle with self-control.They tempt us with impulse buys, the items as you come in a store or at the checkout
line.If you have a young child,
you know the frustration of standing in the checkout line while your child is
tugging at you to buy all those impulse items.Why don’t they have spinach or broccoli in the checkout
line?I listened to a radio
program recently about the psychology that goes into the layout of a grocery
store.What are the two most
common items people travel to the grocery to purchase?Bread and milk.And why does everyone run to the
grocery to purchase bread and milk when a big snow is coming?I go to get ice cream, Milky Ways, and
Pop-Tarts.If I’m going to be
snowed in, I’m not going to survive on bread and milk!Where do you find the milk in a grocery
store?All the way in the back, so
you have to walk by other items in the hopes that you will get more than just
the milk.Where do you find the
bread?Close to the back, in the
bakery, where you walk by tables of cookies, cakes, and other tempting
items.The layout a grocery store
is designed to take advantage of our lack of self-control.

There are many ways we can go with self-control, but this morning
we’ll look out just a few.The
first one comes from our second Scripture reading, from the book of James.It is one of the most difficult types
of self-control –

1.Self-control in what we
say.

Who hasn’t regretted something you said?Regret over what we say is probably one of the top regrets
in all of our lives.

When I was in college I was very put out with one of my
professors.I wasn’t happy about a
test and I decided it was his fault that I did poorly, even though I had taken
very few notes and had done very little studying.I was really carrying on to my roommate about his
shortcomings as a professor and guess what happened?He was within earshot and heard everything I said.Every single word.As I paused in my rant he walked right
past me, but didn’t say a word.The regret of that moment is still with me all these years; I’ve never
forgotten it, and I imagine my professor always remembered it as well.

That moment reminds me of something I once heard about our taking
back our words.It’s comparable to
taking a feather pillow and shaking the feathers into the wind and then trying
to gather up all the feathers to put them back in the pillowcase.There is no way to take back words once
they are spoken.

James, in his encouragement to exercise self-control over the words
we speak really uses strong language.He compares our lack of control over what we say to the bit that goes
into the mouth of a horse to give it direction, or the rudder on a ship, or the
small spark that can cause a great forest fire; small items all, but very
powerful.Everything, James says,
has been tamed by mankind, except for our words.

Sometimes we say, if it comes
across our mind it comes out our mouth.Self-control would let the words linger in our mind a bit
longer to consider whether they really need to be spoken, and would save a lot
of heartache.

2.Self-control in our actions.

We live in a strange culture, as it
consistently encourages in directions that are not healthy for us.We live in a culture that does not encourage
self-control.Why save money now
when you can go and buy what you want now?That’s why we have credit cards, right?Why wait?Spend that money now.If you’re a student, why study now instead of going out to have a good
time?Why worry about what you
eat?Get the box of donuts now and
forget about taking care of yourself – you can do that later.Why worry about any of those things? In our society the idea of
self-restraint and self-control are often viewed as tragically puritanical, as
something to avoid at all costs.

So
why worry?Why not cast
self-control to the wind and live for the moment?Because we can’t forget about the bigger picture of life.Life is about more than this particular
moment, and if we fail to understand how this moment affects other moments, we
will fail to understand how we allow our future to be shaped and dominated by
impulsive actions. The alternative to self-control is the pain and wreckage of bad decisions brought about by impulsiveness.

The
gospels are a continual encouragement to remember that life is about more than
just the present moment.The
message of the gospel reminds us to take a long view of life and to think about
the consequences of our actions.Many of us are still sorting out the consequences of actions and
decisions from many years ago.

3.Self-control in our
emotions.

I want to talk about self-control in relation to one emotion in
particular – anger.Years ago I
had a really bad temper.It didn’t
take much to really wind me up.I
can still remember the day, many years ago, after losing my cool and yelling at
a friend of mine, and realizing I needed to get a grip on my emotions.I’m not advocating that you become like
Mr. Spock from Star Trek, and be totally devoid of emotions, but we can’t allow
our lives to be dictated by our emotions, especially the emotion of anger.

In Ephesians 4:26 Paul writes in
your anger do not sin.Do not let
the sun go down while you are still angry.Remember that anger is an emotion and is common to all of
us, but of all our emotions anger is the most dangerous.Anger is the emotion that causes us to
say things we will regret and it is the emotion that causes us to engage in
actions we will regret.

It is difficult also because it is the emotion that can really
fracture relationships.

Abraham Lincoln's secretary of
war, Edwin Stanton, was angered by an army officer who accused him of
favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the
officer a very tough letter. Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded letter
to the president. What are you going to
do with it? Lincoln asked. Surprised, Stanton replied, Send it. Lincoln shook his head.You don't want to send
that letter," he said.Put it in the stove. That's what I do when I
have written a letter while I am angry. It's a good letter and you had a good
time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.

(Today in the Word, February, 1991, p. 9.)

It’s better to burn a letter than
a bridge, isn’t it?

Self-control is tough, and
perhaps that’s why Paul placed it last in his list of fruits of the Spirit.It serves as a reminder that these qualities are God-given, and it is
through the power of His Spirit that they take root and grow in our lives.