MasterCard Will Soon Accept Selfies As Passwords

MasterCard announced Monday that it will begin accepting selfies in lieu of passwords in order to combat identity theft. As the president of my own fan club, I couldn’t be more pleased. Another excuse for me to look at myself? As my fellow millennials would say, “YAAAAS KWEEN SLAY!”

The new biometric technology requires you to blink while you take your selfie to demonstrate “proof of life.” And for all you uggos and curmudgeonly old folks who hate selfie culture, do not fear! MasterCard’s press release says you’ll also be able to use your fingerprint.

Now excuse me, I must go freshen up before I do some online shopping. Gotta look my best for my bae, MasterCard.