Sunday, July 19, 2009

Feeling Better, Optimistic

It was a strange first week. Cranky, euphoric, tired, weak, discouraged, purposeful. These were just some of the emotions I experienced on my protein/liquid diet.

I found that by eating a "meat salad" (greens and some kind of meat, chicken) in the evening I can manage to get through the day. I don't know how this will affect the liver shrinkage, but I imagine that compared to what I was eating before my liver is a lot better off.

Tomorrow marks one week before the surgery. I meet the the surgeon for the first time on Thursday and then talk to the anesthesiologist.

I feel so ready to fly! I want to soar and be great. I've been hiding my light (and now I really do feel I have light) for too long.

Confession: part of what is motivating me lately is a pronounced "that'll show 'em" attitude. There are people (friends, relatives) who probably think I've thrown in the towel as far as my weight goes, that I've decided not to care about myself enough to be healthy. There are men who may have liked my personality, even become attracted to me, but decided they couldn't date a fat woman. Hah! Just you wait! "That'll show 'em." It's almost like revenge. Not the purest of attitudes, but there it is.