September 15th is naptastic in the Big Brother house. Nicole and Paul have sore muscles from the endurance portion of the final HOH competition. Of course, James feels nothing because he made no effort in the challenge. Shocker. He talks to the cameras (us) to say he feels like he’s in a good place. Well, we have some news for James: Feelings aren’t facts, bro. It’s just as likely a possibility that neither Nicole nor Paul will take him to the final two with them. Though he’s utterly convinced they will both do exactly that.

Plotting against James

As usually happens in the final three BB house, the trio all tell each other what they want to hear and slam whichever houseguest happens to be out of the room at the moment. Still, Paul and Nicole seem a tighter and more genuine twosome. It makes sense because both of them have watched James lose challenge after challenge and listened to him make idiotic comments all summer. Who wants to take the dumb dead horse with them to the final two? A real competitor wants to win an actual competition, not beat a wet mop. But it’s early still, so we’ll see how it all actually shakes out next week.

Tiny Table Trio at dinnertime

Luckily there are more shows to help ease us through this last Big Brother week starting with a Friday night “special edition” with season highlights (yawn). The first part of the Final HOH competition, blocked from live feeds, will be fun to watch, though. In the meantime, the feeds remain nappy and schemetacular. Nicole and Paul are plotting up a storm, Meanwhile James makes brilliant comments like, “We should stay up all night so we can sleep all day because there’ll be nothing to do anyway”. Paul almost starts to say, “But if there’s nothing to do anyway…” what difference does it make if it’s night or day? But Paul restrains himself and we understand why. The “logic” in the answer James has would likely make all of our heads collectively explode.

James does his 873rd shout out

Interior design and prop news always excites in the final week of Big Brother and this season is no exception. A tiny table now holds the place of honor in the dining area. So, the threesome play cards and eat when they aren’t scheming twosomes. Orwell the late night BB owl from Pop TV joins them for dinner though the trio don’t seem to understand his significance of what “Pop After Dark” means. James gives it a shoutout anyway… like he does. The guys gives ham sandwiches a shoutout, so this one’s no surprise. After that Paul poured Snapple in his champagne… but we forgive because he’s fun tipsy..

Snapple in champagne? Please no…

Paul spends a nice long time staring at the houseguest wall, “lookin’ back at all these shitheads,” and boozin it up by himself while he talks to us feedsters. It’s why we feel so close to Paul. He’s more like a real person, less a BB character and, more importantly, Paul learned how to play Big Brother hardcore this summer. More than any other houseguest Paul flew by the seat of his pants and soared into the clouds when it came to gameplay. Look at him! He’s touching the stars now and may even become one himself soon, if we get our wish.

Stay tuned to Fetchland.com for a daily recap of the latest BB activity. It’s all over next Wednesday, September 21st. So, there’s less than a week to go!