Fibromyalgia is for life, not just for Christmas

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I have been a busy little thing what with going on holiday (If you’re really lucky then one day I might tell you about our 12 and a half hour delay getting home, lucky you!) , getting regular person sick in the form of a lovely Tunisian bug (No, he did not pay his air fare) and then doing Avenue Q (Your friends do too!) and the last Off The Cuff (The lift reached maximum capacity and we all died).

Yes. BUSY.

But HAPPY.

You see, I often get a lot of schtick from people who tell me that I shouldn’t be doing shows with my Fibromyagia because it makes me worse. Hmmmmm. Well actually, (excluding the Tunisian bug thing the week before the show, which was Lord VILE) I felt more alive than I have in a long time. I was Tim Robbins crawling out of that sewage pipe and basking in the glory of the rain. Was it tiring? Yes, of course it was, I had my hand up a puppet’s jacksy trying to emote, sing, dance, climb over scaffolding and attempt to be funny yet fluffy. ANYONE would find that tiring and indeed they did. But do you know what? It’s like a sudden rush of adrenaline and energy that keeps me awake beyond my usual 10pm slump, my brain felt switched on and alive, I felt like I could be witty in conversations again and actually *whispers* join in….

It was my awesome friend Draco who put it best, he said “It’s like I’ve got my old Moony back.” And indeed he had. I felt like myself again. Confident and willing to try things that the Fibrozombies try to stop me doing.

I had only one minor Fibro issue on the final Saturday, I’d had a stressful morning and we had a matinee and an evening show to do and I was late to the theatre (I like to be early so I can do my “I’m in my twenties, honestly I am” make-up and faff with my microphone). After I’d finished the first Act of the matinee performance with Fine Fine Line, everything went a bit funny in the backstage corridor (not a euphemism so stop laughing you naughty things) and I sank to my knees (again, stop laughing, you are just rude). Pretty much instantly there was a member of the cast sat next to me, holding my hand and saying very calmly “You’re okay”. I don’t think I’ve thanked him properly for that, he was amazing and so calming. Actually, the whole damn cast have been amazing about the whole issue. Helping me when I need help or just leaving me to get on with it when I need to do that. But I got over it pretty quickly and off we went with the rest of the show.

I just…..I want to be doing this for a living. This show was incredible, it’s a sin that these chaps aren’t being paid to do it because they are incredible.

I miss them terribly, my little furry family.

I would give anything for that to be my life. Performing makes me feel like Joy-Amy and it makes me feel so much less……zombied. *sighs*

Of course it hurts, that’s the nature of the beast, but so does working in an office, that hurts too and if something is going to hurt why not make sure the thing that you are doing is worthwhile?