2. You know you are tired when...

you're walking in the aisle of a grocery store and see a mother and child turn into the aisle at the other end; the mother takes one look at you and grabs her kid by the arm and quickly walks out of the aisle. So you wonder what it was she saw and you realize that the angry conversation you were having in your head was playing out on your lips and facial expressions.

4. Once in the Army, my housemate was out in the field and expected back REALLY late...

.
.
.
... so he was going to call me to come pick him up.
.
When he got back around 2 AM, he called me and let me know that he needed a ride home.
.
I told him, "I'm sorry, but I'm in the middle of REM sleep and I can't do that." Then silence.
.
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He got another ride home and went straight to my room to read me the riot act, but instead
broke down laughing as I was sound asleep with the phone still pressed up against my ear.
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Another time, the Army had our scout squad take part in a really stupid and uber-redundant
stamina experiment where they kept us on the move for 5 straight days. They would allow
us to stand down, but wouldn't tell us for how long (it was always somewhere between 15
minutes and 2 hours) and wouldn't allow us to unpack any of our warm overnight gear like
sleeping bags or tents. It was February in Tennessee and the temps hovered above and
below around 32 degrees -- thawing/raining and freezing/snowing the whole time.
.
.
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On the 5th night, they finally let us have the whole night (though we didn't know this). I
was soaked through and COLD. If I lay down, the cold would seep up from the ground and
my teeth would start chattering loudly. If I stood up to walk around and warm up, I would
literally fall asleep on my feet and fall down.
.
I ended up hooking my armpits over two branches of a tree and suspending myself there...
and slept for blissful hours.
.
It's when I realized that, comparatively... I could sleep anywhere at any time.
.
.
The way I got to be singer in my band? My roommate had invited a drummer and lead
guitarist over (he played rhythm) to jam and talk about forming a band. I was an
exhausted student and was sound asleep on the couch. The drummer set up near my
head and I slept through the first hour or so. I woke to a long space jam that brought
lyrics to my head and I asked if I could sing them (I hadn't sung publicly since the
church choir 15 years before).
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They liked what they heard and, without really meaning to... I got the job.
.
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6. I don't know why they don't include compressed hammock in a soldier's backpack?

And I love the waking up with inspiration story. There was a time when it was the only time where I saw any clarity, when I was just waking up. But now that my life is less stressful, it comes easier to me.

11. LOL!!

5. We have our moments like that. They go about the same way. I know it's over when I hear "um.hmm."

There's going to be a snore following that. My wife and three of her college buddies are coming up this evening. Her boyfriend is already here, along with one of her daughters. That's six college-age mouths to feed (we'll be lucky to get scraps). Fortunately, they're coming up for our "pumpkin festival" in the nearby park, so they should be out of the house for long periods of time, meaning we'll get to prepare for the next midieval feast and then run off to hide in the master bedroom while they stay up until the time kids that age usually do - sunrise.

10. I'll spell it out.

I have three daughters, 1, 2, and 3 for the sake of argument.

3 is at my grandfather's for her senior school year (not in the picture this weekend).
2 is doing the cooking (as we speak)
1 is the one with the boyfriend (lives here) and she's the one bringing three of her college female buddies with her. They'll be here in about an hour.

What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously, they're all good kids. It's just a SHITLOAD of food to prepare, but #2 is working on blueberry pancakes as I type. Sleeping quarters require some work. Yes, only one male, but he's dedicated to #1 (over 2 years now) so I'm not concerned. They'll stay up all night watching videos. The usual. I'll have to get out some pots and pans to wake their asses up in the morning.

13. I'll have a short stack of those blueberry pancakes, please.

14. They were good, so I hear. There weren't any left after the kids got done with them.

And I didn't need the pots and pans. The girls were all working on laptops with textbooks and notebooks open for most of the time they were here. My daughter's are all over-achievers and (for the most part) have friends who fit the same definition. All honor roll sorts. Like I said, they're good kids.

12. You know you are tired when...

you realize that for the past several days you've been brushing your teeth with an old toothbrush that you had been using for cleaning in the bathroom and for some reason had put back in the medicine cabinet after the last cleaning around the sink.

I just thank the Big Guy in the Sky that I hadn't ever used it to clean the toilet. I'm not positive about that though but it makes me feel better to think that.