(Closed) What to do about parents and our invites?

Ok so my mum and dad are divorced, dad is financially FAR better off than mummy dear, but I love her to bits anyway 😉 and FI’s parents are still together.

My dad is paying for the majority of the wedding ($5,000+ for a $9,000 or less wedding)

Mummy dear will pitch in at least $1,000 – though I wish she wouldn’t (no I never asked, but I know she’ll find a way to do it!)

FI’s parents are contributing nothing, except Future Mother-In-Law will be making our cake (she does OMG cakes!) and she is a very management-y person so she will also be setting up the venue wether I like it or not (I do!)

How do I address the invites?

I think my main concern is that Future Sister-In-Law had her wedding recently, paid for in full by the couple, but they still had the invites addressed from her parents and his. This seemed wrong to me, I thought the couple should really have been the only names because dispite how much you love them, they were not in any way shape of form “hosting” the event?

@FutureMrsHallam: I’m wanting to hear feedback aswell.. I’m in litterally the EXACT same situation… My dad is paying $12,000+ and my mom paid for my dress (2500$) and said she would help out more if she can (she was expecting to pay 5000$ for dress lol )..

my FI’s family isn’t helping at all, it’s frustrating to me only because they are the first ones to say what they expect from that day…

i think I want to mention my parents in the invite but don’t know how lol

Brides parents are paying about 40% of ours grooms none except they did pay a big chunk of the down payment of the house that will become ours we are covering the rest. We were only going to put the parents of the bride but MoB freaked and we added both but parents of the bride went first just more traditional.

Still feels weird taking money from the parents since we make probably double what they do, not that we’re wealthy they are just hard working lower paying careers / retired but they assured us they wanted to and if was what they could afford. Really very kind of them and has taken much of the financial stress away.

@FutureMrsHallam: Why don’t ypu ask your mum what she thinks. It probably depends on how acrimonious the divorce was and what feelings she bears towards your father. If she minds then list them separately and if she doesn’t put them together.

Since we’re on the topic of listing parents names on invitations, does anyone have any suggestions for what to do if one of the parents is deceased. Fiance and I are payng for and hosting the wedding ourselves, but I think our parents would appreciate their names being on the invitations. FIs mother passed away last year, but if we’re naming parents then her name should be there too. So together with their parents doesn’t really work. I guess we’ll probably use Aliciaspinnet, daughter or Mr & Mrs Spinnet and MrAliciaspinnet, Son of Mr & Mrs MrAliciaspinnet, invite you to their wedding. Which sounds a bit clunky and a bit more formal than what I had in mind. Does anyone else know of a better way to phrase it?

@aliciaspinnet: I suggest just like that except. “Son of Mr. MrAliciaspinnet and the late Mrs. MrAliciaspinnet”.

My Mother-In-Law was deceased too. We omitted her from the invitations (because the 3 surviving parents were listed as hosts on the invitation, since they contributed), but that’s the wording we used for the engagement announcement and the wedding programs.