When Life Knocks You Down, Stay There and Take a Nap

Yesterday I remembered what it’s like to love, to really love. A warm blanket wrapped around me when I’m cold. A cup of coffee before the dawn rises. The sound of an acoustic guitar. A baby’s toothless smile. Melting into sunlight. A hot bath. A salty breeze. The feeling that everything else can wait.

Yesterday I also woke up feeling a bit run down. And if I’m being honest, I was feeling pretty PMS-y (is that even a word)?? I had this plan to get lots of work done. I set out to bake gluten-free chocolate chip cookies from scratch. The kids were at school so I didn’t have an excuse. There was work to be done.

But my body and mind were begging for a break.

I’m not above pushing myself past my limits. I can run ragged for weeks, even if I’m dog tired. You should’ve heard the battle going on between my body and mind.

Rest. No. Work. Rest. No. Work.

I’m the perfectionist Virgo who is wildly productive. The downside of going hard all the time is that I don’t know when to stop. Yet, somehow, I found a way to surrender.

I stepped away from the mixing bowl, curled up on the couch and closed my eyes. In that moment, between being awake and asleep, is when I let go. My whole body filled with warmth and I whispered, “Thank you.” Then drifted off to sleep.

When I woke from the nap, I didn’t start working right away. Instead, I sat up slow and stared out my window. I got tears in my eyes (happy ones), because I remembered . . . I remembered the way love makes you feel. Love changes the way you see things. Love helps you walk with ease. Love abounds in grace.

Yesterday, I remembered to love myself.

Letting myself off the hook, being that one person who says, “It’s okay to relax,” felt good. So yeah, I basically turned into a great big pile of mush. And I have more mushball stories. I may even open the Mushball Vault and write Part 2.

Like the time I cried my eyes out watching a gum commercial.

If you feel like a mushball now, feel free to share your sappy story in the comment section.

After a year of moving house and feeling great my anxiety is back with a vengeance and I’m back on anti-anxiety medication. But I’m still a great mum to my 2 children and I’m not going to stress about taking a year off to look after myself, whilst I look after them after a turbulent 5 years re-establishing myself. Thank you for this timely post.

Nothing sappy to share, but I do believe in taking time for ourselves and listening to our bodies when they’re demanding a break. Glad that you were able to do that for yourself yesterday. Smart lady! 🙂

Mushiness is good, Anka! We all need mushy moments. Sometimes, I feel like I’m crying out for one and it doesn’t happen because I haven’t let go. By the time I do let go…oh no, then you have this big emotional release, tears or laughter. But you just know, wow, I needed that one! I used to cry a lot, but now not so much as I’m too busy for it. You know what I mean? I’m so glad that you took time out for yourself. xo

Amy, I get too busy for tears also. Like you, things build up over weeks and months. Then, when I can’t hold it together anymore, the dam breaks and I feel a tremendous release.

For me, a good cry is cleansing. I especially love cries that involve laughter. Happy tears are AWESOME. There’s definitely more to be happy about than sad.

Hope your 1st week of February is off to a good start. I’m on a itty bitty blogging hiatus. Trying to be more present with the kiddos. Also, trying to figure out what to get my kids’ teachers for Valentine’s Day. Can’t believe it’s almost here!!

So… The reason I keep going and going until the tank runs out is because I am a Virgo! I always just thought it was because I was stubborn and I might have some kind of attention disorder that keeps me hyper-focused on certain tasks.

My co-management types seem to just pack it in at shift closing. They do not care what was done or what wasn’t. Not me! Going and going and going and going.

I really don’t have many mushy stories, although I do occasionally cry at gum commercials as well– Once you’ve been pregnant, all bets are off as far as what makes you cry. I’m afraid I can’t really relate to giving myself a break, however, because I have a disease called “excessive laziness”. It’s very serious for me, because I also have “pout and whine when I’m forced to get my lazy butt off the couch disorder”. The only cure is bed rest.

Is this disease contagious? I think I may be showing early signs of “excessive laziness” disorder. My baby just dumped a box of goldfish crackers on the floor and I have no desire to get off the couch. At least, my fingers are getting exercise from pounding the keyboard.

Tiny, you’re right! We all need to unplug from time to time. Sitting in silence, enjoying a warm cup of coffee, melting into sunlight . . . These are life’s little treasures. I’m trying to soak up every free gift. Hope your week is going well. Wishing you a happy (early) Heart Day!!