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Tap, tap, tap….sqeeeeeak! Drip, drip, drip. All are sounds familiar in a ladies public restroom. Mavis is alway wondering why restrooms are so uninviting anyway. Panties at her ankles…she hates sitting on public toilet seats, but she put some tissue down first to prevent catching whatever Butt-Ebola virus you can get from a gas-station toilet. Anyway, she was humming while she did her business and happened to glance down at the tag in her undies. “Hmmm…”she thought. “I should read the tag while I’m in here, since I don’t have a magazine or a newspaper”. She started with the front: Lovely Girl was the brand. Never heard of it. Wash with like colors. Made from 60% Lycra and 40% Spandex.

Made in Malaysia. “What the hell?”she thought. “My fuckin’ panties are made in a country that exploits children for slave labor!??” At this realization, she stopped in mid-excramentation, hopped up…cleaned up, and leaped out of her panties. She picked them up off the floor, pulled up her skirt, and yelled, “I will no longer wear or sell slave-labor panties again!” The next day, she mailed the panties to the company asking for a full refund. -The End