EXT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. DAY.
CU of doorbell button. Joy’s finger pushes the button
once, holding it down for a few seconds, then releasing,
pulling out of the frame. A few seconds pass, then Joy’s
finger pushes the button three times quickly.
INT. PAYNE’S BEDROOM. THAT MOMENT.
The room is a stimulation overload. Toys cover the floor
and posters line the walls. The bed is full of bumpy
hills. Getting closer to the bed, some movement is seen
underneath. The cover lifts from the floor and two eyes
are seen.
INT. STAIRCASE. MOMENT LATER.
Heavy foot steps pound down the stairs in cartoon
slippers, the character’s head bouncing with the steps.
INT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. THAT MOMENT.
The door creaks open slowly. PAYNE, a short, stout seven-
year-old brown-haired boy in traditional PJs, peeks his
head out.
PAYNE
(sleepily)
Hey Joy.
JOY, a tall, slender eight-year-old blonde in a pair of
fashionable jeans and a colorful t-shirt, bursts through
the door, leaving Payne hanging onto the doorknob for
dear life.
JOY
Good morning, Payne. Damien around?
Payne picks himself up off the floor. Joy looks around
the room, peeking around corners.
PAYNE
No... He went out with his friends.
Some sort of teenage angst group
meeting.
JOY
OK.
Joy turns around and heads for the door.
JOY
See ya.
Payne steps in front of the door.
PAYNE
Since you’re here, though...
Joy crosses her arms.
JOY
Yes?
PAYNE
I’ve been putting something new
together. Come take a look.
Payne goes through the door. Joy sighs and follows him
out, slamming the door behind him.
EXT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. DAY.
Payne and Joy walk to the front of the garage. Payne pats
down his PJs, and bites his lip.
PAYNE
Be right back.
Joy huffs as Payne runs into the house. A second later he
comes out in jeans and a t-shirt similar in style to
Joy’s, with a red backpack slung over his back.
PAYNE
Got it.
Payne shows her a small box-shaped device and points it
at the garage door.
INT. PAYNE’S GARAGE. THAT MOMENT.
The garage door opens slowly, revealing Payne and Joy.
EXT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. THAT MOMENT.
Joy’s eyes widen. Payne smiles as he watches Joy’s
reaction.
PAYNE
What do you think?
INT. PAYNE’S GARAGE. THAT MOMENT.
An intricate red and pink dune buggy sits inside. It’s
covered in hearts and bows, very girly.
EXT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. THAT MOMENT.
Joy, standing behind Payne, gags herself with a finger.
Payne turns and she stops.
PAYNE
I made it with you in mind.
JOY
You’re kidding.
Payne runs excitedly and gets in the driver’s side.
PAYNE
Seriously. Listen.
Payne pushes the horn button and a romantic violin song
plays.
PAYNE
You like it?
Joy looks at it disbelievingly.
JOY
It’s great... How far can it go?
Payne gets out and closes the door.
PAYNE
Oh, it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just
a model. I haven’t figured out how to
make it go yet.
Joy pulls her hand over her face.
JOY
Great.
An old man comes walking along the sidewalk at the end of
Payne’s driveway. He’s bearded, in the clothes of a
lumberjack, carrying two brown paper-wrapped packages
shaped like the 10 Commandments tablets. It’s MR. HESTON.
CU Joy eyes him suspiciously. Payne waves to him.
PAYNE
Hi, Mr. Heston.
CU Mr. Heston looks up and mumbles a sentence to them
then looks back down, still walking. Payne puts his hand
down and tucks them in his pants pockets.
PAYNE
What a grump.
JOY
There’s something about him that I
just don’t like.
Payne shrugs.
JOY
When does your brother come home?
Payne looks down at his watchless wrist.
PAYNE
I dunno. Mom said he’d have to stop to
pick up some stuff down at the store.
Some bananas, a bag of cooking oil,
some Peking duck, a ice cream scoop--
JOY
OK, I’ll be back later, then.
Payne looks to be thinking as Joy walks away.
PAYNE
No, wait!
Joy turns back around.
JOY
What?
PAYNE
I heard that they found a downed UFO
down at the creek, wanna go check it
out?
Joy taps her foot and rolls her eyes upwards. Payne looks
at her pleadingly.
JOY
OK... let’s go.
Payne’s face explodes in happiness, Joy starts off down
the driveway. Payne looks back at the buggy.
PAYNE
Should we take the...
He scratches his butt and turns, then runs to catch up
with Joy.
EXT. TRIPPLES’ HOUSE. LATER.
The mailbox attached to the white picket fence says “630
NOTARO DR. - THE TRIPPLES” in script. Joy and Payne walk
past the box and Joy stops Payne short with her arm. He
eyes narrow to slits.
JOY
Hello, ladies.
Three identical Japanese girls in traditional schoolgirl
“sailor” outfits are standing at the end of the fence. CU
girl on the left.
JOY
Kyoto.
CU girl on the right.
JOY
Yohko.
CU girl in the middle.
JOY
Tiffany.
Yohko leans forward.
YOHKO
Why so far away from home dear Joy?
Payne and Joy look across the street at their houses and
then quizzically back at the girls. Kyoto leans forward
towards Payne.
KYOTO
Allowed to cross the street there boy?
Payne steps forward.
PAYNE
Hey! I’m almost 8!
Yohko touched Kyoto on the shoulder.
YOHKO
Oh Kyoto, you’ve made him mad.
Yohko flips off Payne’s hat. Kyoto weeps mockingly.
KYOTO
Oh Yohko, now I’m sad.
JOY
Knock it off...
Joy puts Payne’s hat back on his head and steps towards
the triplets.
JOY
One side, girls. We’ve got places to
go.
Tiffany steps forward and pushes Joy in the chest.
TIFFANY
You only think so... We know of your
plan.
JOY
Plan?
TIFFANY
Yes.
Tiffany snaps her fingers. Kyoto and Yohko unfold a map
behind Tiffany.
TIFFANY
If you think we’re going to let you
get your hands on those hidden
Stunning Stacy doll deposits--
JOY
Doll deposits?
Tiffany snaps her fingers, Kyoto and Yohko roll up the
map like a window shade and fold it into a small square
that Kyoto swallows.
TIFFANY
Anyway... We’re watching you... So you
watch yourself... Or you better watch
out.
Kyoto leans forward.
KYOTO
We’re keeping an eye on you there,
girl.
Yohko leans forward from behind Tiffany.
YOHKO
And listening to the music of Burle.
Kyoto and Tiffany look at Yohko. Yohko holds up a small
sign that say “IVES”. Payne walks past them, followed by
Joy, who’s looking at the girls through squinty eyes. A
cat squeal is heard, and Payne pulls Joy quickly out of
frame.
EXT. FOREIGN GUY’S HOUSE. LATER.
SERIES OF SHOTS -- FOREIGN GUY’S INTRO
--Stylish, intricate shoes.
--Fancy, Euro-flavored clothing.
--Extremely styled and shiny hair.
END OF SERIES OF SHOTS
CU of FOREIGN GUY, 7-year-old European boy.
FOREIGN GUY
Hola.
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
Hello.
Payne waves to Foreign Guy.
PAYNE
Hey, Foreign Guy.
Joy pulls Payne back to her and whispers to him.
JOY
Foreign Guy? That’s his name?
FOREIGN GUY
No, mon nom est Guy.
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
No, my name is Guy.
PAYNE
Yeah... there’s two guys named Guy at
school this year. We named them
Canadian Guy and Foreign Guy.
FOREIGN GUY
Como esta?
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
How are you?
Joy moves around to otherside of Payne.
JOY
Yeah, hi. So he doesn’t speak English?
PAYNE
No, but he understands it. So... watch
what you say.
FOREIGN GUY
Siete molto graziosi.
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
You are very pretty.
JOY
Thanks, my mom bought them. (to Payne)
So where is this UFO?
FOREIGN GUY
UFO?
PAYNE
It’s supposed to be just down the
block. Wanna come with us Guy?
FOREIGN GUY
Ich würde folgen ihr überall.
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
I would follow her anywhere.
Guy looks at her with love in his eyes. Joy gets skeeved
by him and she walks away quickly. Payne and Guy follow.
EXT. PETITVILLE. LATER.
MONTAGE -- JOY, PAYNE AND GUY WANDER AROUND TOWN
--The trio pass a strip mall, centered around a store
called “BUGGY BUDDIES”. Payne’s buggy is in the window.
Payne looks but keeps going, then puts on a
thinking/confused face.
--They are walking down a yellow-brick road, and they
come across a tin man. Joy picks up an oil can and oils
him. He stretches and transforms into an anime-style
warrior robot. The kids run away.
--Guy is steering a boat down a Venician canal, singing
an Italian love song. Joy looks bored, Payne is annoyed.
END OF MONTAGE
EXT. PAYNE’S HOUSE. DAY.
Payne, Joy and Guy round the corner of the block and look
around. Payne and Joy’s houses stand in front of them.
JOY
Payne?
PAYNE
Yeah, Joy?
JOY
These are our houses.
PAYNE
Yes. Yes they are.
Joy grabs Payne by the shoulders and shakes him.
JOY
Where is the freaking UFO?
PAYNE
I dunno... Where’s the creek?
Joy lets go and walks away from him, then spins quickly
to face him.
JOY
I thought you knew. That’s why we were
following you.
Joy is steaming.
PAYNE
Oh. Oh well.
Joy is quite upset.
PAYNE
Want to go have some PBJs?
Joy shakes her head no vigorously, then slowly.
JOY
Is your brother home?
PAYNE
Maybe...
Joy points at Guy.
JOY
Is he coming?
They look at Guy.
FOREIGN GUY
Los emparedados... no están para mí.
Tomaré mi licencia. Buen día.
FOREIGN GUY SUBTITLES
Sandwiches... are not for me. I shall
take my leave. Good day.
Guy walks off into the sunset, whistling the “Can-Can”
tune.
PAYNE
I guess not.
Joy looks up at Payne’s house.
JOY
Good. Let’s go get some sandwiches.
Joy and Payne walk up the sidewalk and go into his house.
A LITTLE GREEN MAN pokes his head around the corner of
the house, looking to see if all is clear. He pulls his
head back behind the house and comes flying out in
Payne’s buggy. Mr. Heston is standing on a street corner
as the Little Green Man flies by. Mr. Heston grumbles and
keeps walking.
END.