Sunday, November 28, 2010

Gar the Texan's Ongoing Mullet Hair Denial Lunacy

The first time I met Gar the Texan in person was quite memorable, due to the fact that I'd never been up close to a Mullet Head before.

In the Pacific Northwest Mullet Heads, for the most part, were called Pocatello Do's. Or was it Poca-Do's? I don't remember. Pocatello is a town in Idaho known for being a bastion of the Mullet, back when it was popular with those who like silly looking hairstyles.

For some reason, Gar the Texan, with clock-like regularity posts a picture of himself in his Mullet Prime, knowing that someone is going to make mention of the Mullet, which he then denies the fact that it is a Mullet.

The latest iteration of this occurred yesterday on Facebook. Gar posted the infamous Mullet Picture, which caused someone named Jennifer to comment, "I must say...That is one b#tchin'* mullet..."

To which Gar the Texan made his predictable Mullet Denial comment.

To which a voice of reason commented, "Gar, I have lost track of the number of times I've told you if it looks like a mullet, it's a mullet. Why do you continue in mullet denial? It's not like you had the mullet in this century. Now, that would be embarrassing."

To which Gar the Texan commented, "I will be in Mullet denial forever."

And then the really weird thing happened.

Someone who lives way out in the West Texas Boonies, in Gar the Texan's old hometown of Kermit, came to a very irrational, albeit, scientific sounding defense of Gar's claim that he was not a Mullet Head.

The commenting Kermitite, Jyl, basically makes the case that Gar was a Feather Head, not a Mullet Head, commenting, "......and no, it's NOT a mullet..feathers? yes. Mullet? no. I can even explain the distinction to those of you who are either from the wrong region or decade to know the difference. A mullet (a.k.a. bi-level, has a perimeter that is disconnected just above, and slightly behind the ears, creating two different styles on one head. Short (business) in the front, and long (party) in the back... What Garland is sporting in this picture is more of a soft metal feathered look...pre-hair band, but still would have made Eddie Van Halen jealous. Quite beautiful, Garland. Perfectly executed feathers...kudos to you!"

I'm thinking it sounds worse to be a Feather Head than a Mullet Head.

At the top is a composite of 4 Mullet Heads. Gar the Texan is the Mullet on the left. The Mullet Head next to Gar is from the Wikipedia article about the serious Mullet Hair issue. The others were Mullets I found by Googling for Mullet Hair images. I picked ones that matched Gar the Texan's Mullet Feather Head.

"The mullet is a hairstyle that is often ridiculed as a lowbrow and unappealing hairstyle. The mullet began to appear in popular media in the 1960s and 1970s but did not become generally well-known until the early 1980s. It continued to be popular until the mid-1990s and has enjoyed a partial return to favor as a retro look in the 2000s."

Gar the Texan continued his Mullet Head well past the mid-1990s. Maybe when I first saw the Gar Mullet it was in retro look mode. It takes awhile for the news that a fad is now a dud makes its way inland to Texas, from the left and right coasts. An example of that is you still see a lot of idiots here in Texas wearing their pants down around their knees, exposing their underwear. I don't recollect ever seeing this particular example of bad taste on the left coast.

Below is a YouTube video celebrating the Mullet Nation. I don't think Gar the Texan is in the Mullet Nation video...