Never Too Old for Magic

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We had met on a dating site and chatted by email. Enjoyed repartee and shared some of our diverse and complex backgrounds. I was recently widowed and she had been divorced and single for a long time. We lived in different towns but not too far away and I had driven down to meet her and take her out for lunch a week before. That had gone well and she had texted that she was sad to see me leave.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At the lunch, I had invited her to come up and visit and she had agreed. She drove to my town – first time she had been here – into my carport and I carried her stuff into the kitchen. I put my arm around her, first time I had touched her, and she blushed like a little girl and said all nervously “I don’t know how to kiss”. I just grinned and hugged her into a big long kiss. After that I took her straight down to the bedroom and we stripped off and hopped onto the bed together. I had bought some condoms but she didn’t want to use them.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went straight into the missionary position and as soon as I entered her she started to shake and make sounds as though she was being electrocuted. I stopped and asked, “What was that?” She said, “That was my surprise for you. I have multiple orgasms.” After that, we made love and slept all afternoon and pretty much stayed in bed for three days except for eating and bathing. When she had to leave she said she could hardly walk.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We felt very close and happy having been physically together. That rounded out our getting to know each other first mentally and now emotionally and physically. I decided to follow her back to her town very soon and we began a close relationship that turned into a marriage.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t talk to anyone about it. It was soon after my wife had died after a horrible illness and I was aware people would likely be judgemental but I knew it was right for us so we just lay low for a while. Now most people see it as very romantic.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fantastic to be making love again and enjoying sex and even more so to be finding a partner to share the future with. Life is short, don’t waste it.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The only negative thing was having to keep it quiet for a while.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, though it has given me more pleasurable memories.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? As I said, life is short and uncertain. Make things happen now. Make them exciting and passionate. Age is no barrier at all.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? During my lifetime attitudes have changed enormously for the better. For me personally casual sex has not been important during a long happy marriage until my first wife’s illness but when people can respect one another and give each other immense pleasure and joy that is nothing but good in my opinion.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Fantastic source of life experiences for everyone to draw on and increase their understanding and options. So worthwhile. I suspect that reading these stories is much better for your sex life and emotional health than watching porn and hope very many people will benefit from them.