talon's adoption story

Friday, May 7, 2010

I am SO amazed at the fact that people are still coming to our blog after all this time! It warms my heart to think that our situation has impacted people as much as it has. I thought I'd give you a brief update on our family.

Kade is finishing up the third grade. He is doing well in school, and playing sports as well. He still talks about Talon a lot, and tells me how he misses him. I tell him that all we can do is pray that he is safe, and will someday find us.

Clint and I are keeping busy with work, sports, and maintaining a family. We both miss Talon still, and I don't think that will ever change. He was such a big part of our family. We would still like to adopt, but have not had the opportunity yet. Hopefully that will happen some day.

I have been thinking of starting another blog, where I can tell about our family life since Talon. I don't want to taint this one with new things, I want it to remain Talons.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Hey everyone! Just thought I'd let you know that Natasha texted me. She says he is doing fine, and sent a picture. I have been pretty out of it lately, just going through the paces. The summer and fall have been fun, but hard at the same time. Every time we do something that we did last year, I think about having Talon with me the last time I did this...

I feel like we are doing better and better all the time, but I don't think the pain will EVER completely go away.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A lot of people have asked me if we will ever adopt again and I think it only fair to tell all of you.

We have been working with the agency for a while now. We will NEVER forget Talon, nor will any baby ever replace him, but we have a gaping hole in our hearts...all of us. We hope that another baby might at least make that hole a bit smaller.

The last two weeks the agency has told us about two situations. Neither worked out, but it is such an emotional roller coaster. We are not sure how to feel about things. It is really frustrating that we don't have a baby yet, but I think the most frustrating thing is having our hands bound so tightly. We are at the mercy of other people. These people say they are looking out for us, and have our best interest in mind, but it is so hard to know if they are being truthful.

I guess I'm just frustrated having no control over my life. Most people can plan out their families, when they are going to have more, if they are going to have more. It is SO frustrating not knowing if we will EVER have more.

Sorry to blab on...but it feels good to get some things off my chest.

We DO realize how blessed we are to have our sweet Kade. I thank God every day for the happiness he brings to us. He is the sweetest boy, and is always trying to make me happy. If I do anything right in this world it will be raising him to be a respectful, intelligent, man.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Today has been an interesting day full of emotion. My little brother got married today, so in that aspect it was a wonderful happy day. However, my thoughts had a hard time staying with the happy couple. As different things happened, it reminded me of my sweet Talon. Today is his first birthday.

I have cried several times today, and have missed him so much. Clint has been wonderful, being so supportive. I know he misses him too, but he buries his feelings. He feels he has to be the strong one.

There are so many times, when I think of Talon, I wonder what Natasha feels. I wonder what she thinks when she looks at the cross stitch I made her. I have no doubt it hangs on her wall. I wonder if we even cross her mind when she wears the pj's or robe, or slippers we bought her, or the shirt she borrowed and so conveniently "forgot" to give back. I wonder if she has any conscience at all. Did she ever intend on placing him? Was she using us the whole time? Will she do it again to another unsuspecting family and crush their lives as she has ours?

I wish there were something I could do to make sure no one ever had to go through this again.

Sorry that this post is depressing, but I'm not feeling very happy today.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Okay. I know I haven't posted in a really long time. I am sorry, but not much has been going on. So here is the latest. I don't want anything overwhelming so I will post a little each day for the next several days.

First and foremost...tribal court is over. I know I've mentioned that before, but I thought I would mention it again.

Secondly, we have had to withdraw our appeal in State Court due to the fact that the person that was going to fund us, had a change of heart. We had to drain our savings just to pay off the attorneys for simply sending in the notice of appeal. We WANT to keep fighting, but it seems there are no judges out there with any cojones. I don't understand it, but no one will stand up to these damn tribes. I am sorry to sound prejudiced, but since we lost our precious Talon, we have heard story after story about tribes around the country doing the same thing over and over. When is the best interest of the child going to be put FIRST!!!

I want everyone reading this to know that our love for Talon never fades. We pray for him every night, and think about him constantly. In fact, I dream of him often, and wonder how he is doing. As summer nears, and we go camping and boating, I think about all the things he would be enjoying. I wonder if he is walking, and Kade often comes to me crying. He is doing better these days, but still misses him immensely. He comes to me about once a week with tears in his eyes telling me he wants Talon back, and asking why they won't let us fight anymore.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I think it is quite amusing that people argue against us. If they want to talk smack why don't they do it to our face? Anyways...this is a link to a forum that is still talking about the battle. Whoever is defending us...THANK YOU!!! If any of you want to see here it is:

Hey everyone. I got this from an unknown source and thought you might be interested. Also, I have a friend that is planning a trip to Washington D.C. If there is anyone out there who would be interested in joining her to try to get ICWA laws revamped PLEASE let me know!!!

Have a great week, and let me know what you think about this story.

To whom it may concern,

We are foster parents to a little girl, age 3yrs 2 mos. She came to us at 2yrs 4 mos., in April of ‘08, so it has almost been a year now. When we picked her up at an emergency rendezvous at Wal-Mart at midnight, we knew nothing about her, except that she had siblings. We quickly learned that she had been horribly beaten, and worse, neglected/starved to the point of a bloated belly, hair loss and complete apathy, no language and a developmental delay. She had a fractured skull, and numerous other injuries. As we later learned, she had been substance exposed and removed at birth, then reunited after a year in foster care only to have suffered greatly at the hands of her birth mother/boyfriend (we are not sure which or both). The mother has various substance abuse issues (meth and alcohol at least). This child, among the birthmother’s other children, was singled out for abuse. She alone was not fed and took the brunt of the beatings. In July ’08 we learned that she is part Native American, though how much we do not know. ICWA did not take the case until October. Since then the mother was incarcerated on aggravated DUI charges. She is out now. The case plan is still for family reunification, even though all parties (except birth mom) have noted that birth mom favors the other children. There are 3 different dads for birth mom’s 5 children. Her current boyfriend is the father for the other two remaining siblings that are still in foster homes (her other two sons have been placed with their fathers). He is not her father. As far as we know; the birth mom is the Native American, though all the case workers have been very hush-hush. Her birth father has never participated in any of the custody proceedings.We fear that this child will be sent back to live with her birth family, at great danger. The mom is not bonded with this child, and L was so traumatized when we got her-both physically and emotionally. She has just blossomed with us, and we would be happy to adopt her. We live in Phx, AZ. Does anyone know someone that can help us? We have a GAL, but would like to get as much help as possible. Since learning the case was moved to ICWA I have spent a lot of time researching ICWA case law. We feel really helpless to help this little girl. She has already been in 4 homes and has had bonding and attachment issues. To us, although I understand the basic premise of the ICWA law, it seems almost like it is reverse discrimination. Her GAL told us if it were a regular CPS case they would already have moved to terminate parental rights. But because she is part Native American, she has to be subjected to torture and neglect. I am certain this was not what the laws were designed for.If anyone knows someone who could legally assist us, please give us the contact information.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hello everyone. I thought you would like to see pictures of Talon. Natasha sent them to me via picture message on my phone so they are a bit pixelated. She says that he is crawling and is pulling himself up on the couch. She also said that he has 7 teeth.

In regards to the call from a couple weeks ago, she was wanting to know if he had any ear infections while he was with us. Apparently he has had two since being back in Minnesota. She also needed to know the name of his doctor here, as well as what hospital he was born in. It was a very interesting conversation.

Kade has been having a hard time again the last week or so. He has come to us crying that he wants Talon back a few times. He has another counseling session this week. I hope it helps. Heaven knows I don't know what to do. I wish I could take away his pain. It breaks my heart as his mother to see the pain that I sometimes feel I forced on him.

We continue to pray for a miracle that will bring this sweet spirit back to us, and thank you all for your prayers as well. We miss him dearly.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Just wanted to let you know that I talked to People Magazine on Monday. She said that the article was on hold and that she would call me on Wednesday when she got back to the office. I have not heard from her yet. I am going to give her a call today and hopefully get some answers.

P.S. I got a new job last week. That is part of why I haven't had time to update this as regularly as I would like. It is a good distraction, but definitely an adjustment of my time. Also, Natasha called last week, I will post about that conversation next.

Hope all is well with everyone! I thank my Heavenly Father every day for all the amazing support we have gotten. May God be with you all during the trials in your lives. I know he has been with me through mine.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Hey all. Thought I'd let you know that we had another update hearing today in tribal court. They dismissed us as interested parties, meaning we are no longer part of tribal court. SOOOO now the only thing we can do is to HOPE that maybe state court will bring something about. I don't know. I will be updating several times this week. LOTS of things have happened in the last 7 days, but I don't have time to write about it all at once. Keep looking...and KEEP spreading the word. Thank you again for your continued love and support.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hey all. Just wanted to touch base, and let you know that I spoke with People again, and they said that the article should go to print on Monday, meaning it would be in the next issue. I am not sure when the issues come out, but the writer assured me that she would let me know for sure. Keep checking the blog, and I hope to see it soon!

I got some pictures from my sister in law yesterday. There were a bunch from some summertime family gatherings. We miss Talon so much. We hope he is well. If any of you have any suggestions about other things we could be doing, please share. Thank you again for your prayers and support.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Hey all. I know it's been a while...I went back into shut down mode again the last little while. Sorry I haven't been keeping up with things. I just thought I'd let everyone know that People Magazine has contacted us, as well as the birth mom and are planning on doing an article in their next issue. They came out last week and did a photo shoot, and I believe they were going to do one with Natasha as well. Anyways...it will be interesting to see what direction the article takes. I will let you all know as soon as I get it! Sorry for the lapse in coverage.

Meanwhile we are still battling. Our hearts go out to Natasha on a daily basis. We worry about her, and hope that things are going well for her. We are still not sure what caused the complete turn around. We believed that we were doing what she wanted up until about a week before they took Talon. She told us that she wanted him to stay with us, and that we should do what ever we could to keep him so we did, and we continue to do so. We miss Talon and pray that he is safe and being taken care of and loved. He will always be a part of our family as will Natasha, no matter what happens. We hope that they will both remember us always as friends and know that we truly have the best interest of Talon (Destino) in mind.

Thank you all for all of your support. It has meant so much to us, and we ask that you continue to pray that God's will be done in this situation, and that we will all be able to accept what that is. As of now, we believe that we are supposed to battle, we don't know why, but that has been the answer to our prayers so we will do what we can. Continue to spread the word, we still believe that someone somewhere has the answer. Thank you again and I will try to keep the blog more updated from now on!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Here are some interesting websites that have been sent to me over the course of the last month. We have been getting so much support, and I know that there are several of you wanting more information, so feel free to read these articles. Some of them are quite lengthy and will take a while to read. Please don't feel you have to read them, just in case you want to.

http://icwaishurtingfamilies.blogspot.com/ (okay...honestly I haven't read this one yet. I can only spend so much time before I just can't read another thing, but I'd be interested to hear your comments if you read it.)

Friday, January 16, 2009

This is another article that was brought to my attention. I LOVE it. It is amazing how people get on kicks, and you can't get them off to save their lives. This is an article in the Indian Country Today regarding Campbell Brown and her comments on her No Bias No Bull Show. I want to write to CNN to let them know that I very much APPRECIATE her comments. I think she hit the nail right on the head. Let me know what you think. Here is the link to the article.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

This comment was emailed to me, and I found it very educated. I am currently trying to connect with the lady who wrote it. Hope you all enjoy!!

Please, my comment isn’t racist. I have all the documentation for everything my husband and I have been trying to tell people for the last 14 years.As the birth Mother of five enrolled members of the Leech Lake Tribe, and the legal custodian of four additional members, I stand behind the Larsons 100%. I know life on the Leech Lake Reservation very well. My husband was a member of the tribe. He passed away foour years ago, but just three weeks before he died, so week from his cancer that he needed a wheel chair, he again went to DC and told Senators that ICWA was a bad law. He also spoke at the National Press Club about it. Then he came home, spent ten days in the hospital, and was discharged to our home to die. His last strength was used fighting ICWA.This case in Utah is NOT ISOLATED and many children and families have suffered from ICWA. Someone needs to stand up and say it is wrong! Please see more ICWA family stories at http://www.caicw.org/familystories.htmlThose that think this ICWA law has any validity are insane. The only reason this law exists is because the tribal governments have been doling out millions of dollars to federal and state campaign coffers for the last 30 years. Surprise! The tribes aren’t as broke as they lead you to believe. Only trouble is, it’s YOUR money that they are buying Senators with, and it’s not being used for it’s intended purposes.Yes, there are many constitutional attorneys and professors that say that much of Indian law is unconstitutional. Please contact me and I can refer you to some.Importantly, look at the last US census and ask yourself why so many enrolled members have moved off the reservation.Now, ask yourself two questions:#1) WHY have so many enrollable members moved off the reservation? As for our family and many of our relatives, the answer is that The Reservation Is No Place to Safely Raise Your Children.People without brains will try figure out some way to blame it on the “white man.” Only trouble is, MOST Enrollable members are more white than Indian. It’s easy math. Most tribes require only 1/4 blood quantum to be enrollable. SOME TRIBES have much LESS. And the Cherokee Tribe has NO required blood quantum. We have a case where a tribe has been interfering with an adoption of a child with less than 2% blood quantum. (http://www.caicw.org/familystories.html)#2) If the Tribes have so much money to pay Congressmen with, as well as attorneys to chase children down with, why aren’t they instead spending that same money on infrastructure and job growth on the reservation? What are the true priorities? Why not just develop resources and make an honest effort to move away from the federal dole? If the reservations were cleaned up, wouldn’t more people want to stay there and live? How can a government call itself Sovereign when it is constantly running to the US Congress and demanding more money? Sounds like a bunch of teenagers!So, let me wrap this little lesson up. I will use my family as an example in order to get the point across.The Tribe Does NOT Own My Family - and in Particular, MY Children.My Children are 50% Minnesota Chippewa, but they are also 1/4 German, Jewish, and a spattering pf Irish Catholic. They have OTHER relatives than just those on the reservation. MOST enrollable children have relatives of other heritage.In fact, we have German Jewish relatives that died at Auschwitz.So tell me why my children’s Native American heritage is more important than their Jewish, Irish, or Scottish heritage. Tell me why in the world the state of Minnesota has passed a law last year that says that suggests tribal heritage is more important, and that the Minnesota tribes have jurisdiction over any enrollable child, even if the child and his family don’t want to be involved with the tribe and has never had any contact or relationship with the tribe.That law affects not only my children but my grandchildren, who will all be at least 1/4 Minnesota Chippewa.For everyone screaming about tribal sovereignty…why don’t they move their families to Cass Lake, Minnesota. Enroll their kids in school there and encourage them to go play at the housing tracts.If they are not willing to raise their own children under the conditions of the Leech Lake Reservation, they shouldn’t be demanding that our children be raised there.A commenter had the nerve in a post to suggest the Larson’s had “kidnapped” this baby. Excuse me? Who the heck are the ones doing the kidnapping, but the tribes themselves that push federal and state legislators to give them all the rights to Our Children!If anyone can connect me with the Larson’s, we have lots to talk about and much work to do.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Hello all. This is just a post to let you know I haven't stopped, or forgotten all of you. Things have been kind of stagnant the last couple weeks. We are getting back on the band wagon, and stirring things up again. Hopefully we will get back in the media and stir things up again soon. We are hoping to get more information, and more help to get little Talon back. From what we hear, he is still doing okay, though probably teething. My heart aches every day. I walked past his room Saturday, and saw his binki sitting in his crib. I lost it. It is just little things like that that set me off. Yesterday was my birthday!! Happy birthday to me. I was so blessed to be able to spend it with two of my three favorite boys. We had a couple moments of talking about Talon, Kade mentioned that he missed him, and prays every night that we can get him back. The battle still wages, and hopefully we can win, although the money goes out faster than it comes in with legal fees. Anyways...hope all is well with all of you...and please continue to spread the word.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Here is another site that seems to be on our side. This one is based out of Minnesota. Keep 'em commin'. Thank you all for your support. The battle still wages. We will keep the blog updated as best we can.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Thought you might enjoy some pictures. These were taken by my good friend Jeni Williams about 48 hours before they took Talon. She is an AWESOME photographer and a great friend. She lives just down the street from me and does her photography out of her basement. If you want to see more of her work her website is www.4getmenotphotography.com and she also has a blog at www.4getmenotphotos.blogspot.com . She is so much better than penny's or sears. Enjoy the pictures. I will get more up soon.