Elizabethtown

Pretty much a disaster on all counts, the latest
film from Cameron Crowe ("Almost Famous")
bears little resemblance to life as we know it.
From its ridiculous characterizations to its
unbelievable plotlines, it takes contrivance to a
whole new level. Trapped in the center of the
movie is Orlando Bloom as the opaque Drew
Baylor, a hotshot designer whose latest
creation, a running shoe called, improbably,
the Spasmotica, has just stiffed in the stores,
costing his company nearly a billion dollars.
Unemployed and suicidal, Drew then finds out
his father has died and is dispatched by his
family to pick up the body.

"Elizabethtown," which also stars Kirsten
Dunst in a wretched performance as an
oddball flight attendant, doesn't make a whole
lot of sense, stereotypes its Southern
characters, and is gratingly unfunny when it's
not being painfully solemn. Supposedly, the
film is a work in progress and is still being
tinkered with by its director (though it opens
just a month after its Toronto Fest bow, at
which it appeared complete), but he'd be
better off jettisoning the whole thing.
Starring Orlando
Bloom, Kirsten Dunst and Susan Sarandon.
Directed and written by Cameron Crowe.
Produced by Tom Cruise, Paula Wagner and
Cameron Crowe. A Paramount release.
Drama. Rated PG-13 for language and some
sexual references. Running time: 138 min