Everything you need to buy before new US tariffs hit Chinese products

You’d better stock up on your clothespins—bamboo, wooden, or plastic; with springs or otherwise—before December.

Make sure you have enough hair nets, confetti, Christmas art, floating docks, umbrellas of all sizes, and pet toys.

And don’t forget hair—human, hog, pig, boar—plus live primates, and asses. Because China sells a lot of stuff to the US, and much of it is about to become more expensive after the latest rounds of tariffs kick in on Sept. 1 and Dec. 15.

Place your live emu order now

In Donald Trump’s latest act of trade war, the list of goods that will be subject to a 10% tariff is long, and includes a lot of unlikely finds. For instance, China sells Americans a lot of American cheese, US flags, and of course, MAGA hats.

The list of tariffs going into effect in September is 122 pages long, covering everything from the strange and dangerous—like “saps and extracts of opium” to “muffin ovens” and “tanks and other armored fighting vehicles”—to “men’s and boy’s suits, knitted or crocheted.” There is also the mundane, such as used and new rags, pipes, pins, and pacifiers made from a range of materials.

Given how much is covered in September (get your canoe paddles and compression socks ASAP!), December’s list is much shorter. Only 21 pages, it includes pet toys, pencil sharpeners, umbrellas, and natural pearls (cultured pearls, along with rubies, diamonds and sapphires, will be tariffed in September).

For those in need of a live emu, Chinese processed cheddar, or gouda cheese, the days to place a tariff-free order are short. There is, however, good news for those worried they may have to shell out more for their Bibles, radioactive elements, and frozen salmon: They have all been dropped from the tariff lists.

Here are the products that will be newly taxed come September:

Get your holiday shopping list together

Showing at least some regard for America’s holiday shopping—while still encouraging people to finally get their presents before the last minute—some goods will be available tariff-free until mid-December. Holiday Items such as imitation gemstones, toys, sweaters—along with year-rounders like ceiling fans and aromatic pesticides.