In the aftermath of Tommy’s death in the line of duty, Ramona is conflicted - fretting over her parents splitting but also feeling for the grieving family. Especially after Kimmy learns something. RKORadio’s Samantha from Book Universe Sam Series – adopted elsewhere in TVU and NetU – used with permission

A/N: As before, I don't own anything but my original ideas, but the "Fuller House" creators are free to introduce any of these elements they want. I do it for fun. Besides, Star Trek fans gave Hikaru Sulu his first name.

This idea shows the aftermath of Tommy's death and how conflicted Ramona might have been. Also, I've mentioned Samantha's future in snippets – adopted by Danny's girlfriend, Karen, from "Lust in the Dust" and Karen's soon-to-be husband – and, since I helped Paul Austin with the Sam Series and he has advised in this, I decided it was a good way to have her here in a cameo. This way, fans might enjoy reading and understand more the Sam Series – where Stephanie practically raises her – and stories where I've included her. Whether (spoiler alert) Stephanie can only not have children biologically in NetU is up to you.

The key is that in TVU(and, from there, NetU) Samantha – who still goes by Sam here - is in a different elementary school district, quite possible in the stretch between 1984 (office put in fourth bedroom thanks to bonus from working the Olympics) and her going to Kindergarten. In 1992. So, with TVU and NetU only diverging in 1995 at D.J.'s prom, her history is basically the same here as in TVU

Finally, the episode with the bake sale mentioned near the end was the Season 1 "Full House" episode with cousin Steve in it.
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When In Doubt, Hug

"…So, that's how it happened," the melancholy fire department captain finished with a deep sigh. He knew the woman in front of him, D.J. Fuller, was like most fireman's wives, dreading the possibility yet always living with it in the back of her mind. He'd never found a good way to tells families their husband, their father wasn't coming home.

D.J. didn't know what to say. She muttered a weak "thanks" as her boys, Jackson and Max, wept with her. D.J. was pregnant with a third child, a boy – one who would now be named after his father. And, she was totally unsure of what to do.

"We have a fund to help widows. I'm sure some of the other wives will be coming over. Probably one or two already on their way. And, of course, other things; I'm sure you probably don't want to think about commendations from the city for dying in the line of duty and things like that right now, though,” he concluded.

"No; thanks, we'll think about that later," D.J. agreed.

"Daddy's a hero," Max, six, uttered. D.J. concurred.

"Heroes are supposed to come home," Jackson, twelve, lamented. He knew intellectually that – especially in war – they didn't always, but he'd never imagined what it was like to have one actually not returning..

D.J. comforted him that, "They are supposed to; just like mommies are supposed…" She stopped herself, realizing she might scare them a little too much if she referred to her own mother's death when she was ten. "Well, you remember about Grandma Tanner, what happened to her. We're going to make it through this, though. Just like we did back then."

"Anyway, I don't know if you need me for anything else…?"

D.J. shook her head. "We'll be fine. Thanks a lot, Captain. My husband always spoke so fondly of you," D.J. told him. She forced herself to rise and open the door for him.

Danny tanner, her father, had been relaxing in the home the girls had grown up in on Girard Street. He could tell something bad had happened the moment he heard D.J.'s voice. Indeed, the call reminded him of when his wife, Pam had died, killed by a drunk driver. "I'll be right over. I'll call Steph and Michelle," he said while darting toward the front door and pulling his car keys out of his pocket with his free hand, referring to D.J.'s younger sisters. "I'm sure they'll be able to come pretty quickly."

D.J. hoped so. In fact, she hoped Danny could do a lot of the planning. Right now, her mind was so filled with things she couldn't believe it.

Kimmy Gibbler had had to get her daughter, Ramone, from dance class, so while she talked to her best friend since childhood, D.J., she couldn't get over there right away. She informed Ramona of the news once she got her. "I don't know where your father is," she told her, leaving out concerns about who he was with, "but don't worry, you'll find plenty to do there."

"But, Mom," the eleven-year-old complained, "how will I know what to say?” She couldn't believe her mom was just going to take her over to where someone had just died like it was a normal Sunday dinner.

Kimmy glanced behind her while driving. "Look, Ramona, you've been around D.J.'s family plenty of times. You know the number one rule. When in doubt – hug."

"I suppose," Ramona said, a little unsure of herself but at least feeling a bit more confident.
She had more on her mind, however. She'd been overjoyed by the distraction of dance class because there had been another flare-up recently between her parents. Kimmy had wanted a divorce from Fernando for a while, and Ramona was sick and tired of all the bickering. She'd really begun to feel sorry for herself and feeling glad to have any sort of distraction from that.

So, to top it all off, now she felt a bit guilty about that. After all, what were her problems compared to someone having just tragically died? Her mind was a whirl of thoughts. So, her mom's advice seemed pretty good, all things considered.

Ramona saw that the door was open at the Fuller home. Seeing someone unfamiliar just inside with a box of some sort, she instinctively embraced him. He had to be a member of the family, right? "I'm so sorry," she said instinctively.

"Thanks; actually, I was just frowning because I didn't know if I had enough change," the pizza delivery man responded.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" Ramona said, now thoroughly embarrassed, too.

"Don't worry, it happens; this isn't the first time I've delivered pizza to someone at a time like this. People are just so glad to see someone sometimes; in the last year alone I've been given five hugs, four hearty condolences, and two ticket to a Giants game," the older man said. He finally found the correct change and gave it to Danny.

"Hi, Ramona," Danny said. Kimmy had already rushed in and embraced D.J.. "One of the other firemen's wives came. She might need a hug, too; it's hard on all of them when one dies in the line of duty like that." Danny's girlfriend, Teri, said "hello" as well, then turned back to talking with the boys while helping to get pop out of the refrigerator.

"I can imagine," Ramona muttered, though it was more along the lines of being sad someone else had just died, rather than grasping the camaraderie.

Danny indicated that Jackson and Max were in the kitchen helping to get the table ready. "Hey," Jackson mumbled. He introduced the woman who had come to see D.J..

"Hey." Ramona quietly grabbed a plate and a bottle of water. "Got any raisins?"

"For what, your salad? Seems a little weird," Jackson said absently.

"Maybe I'll try some on my pizza," Ramona retorted, trying to make a joke. Like Jackson, she was totally unsure of what to say.

Danny sensed some tension as he helped to dish the pizza. "What's wrong?"

"He's probably still made because last time my mom dropped me off here, I ate all the raisins out of the rest of the Raisin Bran," Ramona said.

Max told Jackson, "We got a couple boxes of raisins in the cupboard."

Danny put an arm around Jackson. "Look, I know how you feel. I remember your dad used to kid you that you and Ramona acted like you did because you secretly liked each other." Jackson chuckled and grinned a little at the memory. "Hey, did you see that smile, Deej?" Danny asked as D.J. walked into the kitchen. "Let's share some happy memories."

"Sure; he was a wonderful man," Teri agreed.

Danny tried to sit on the other side of Jackson from D.J., but Max squeezed in. "Hey, I need to sit there," the boy griped.

"Max, you can sit by Mommy," D.J. invited him, pulling out the chair on the other side of her from Jackson.

"But, I want Jackson," Max whined, missing his father and sensing that perhaps his older brother could be somewhat like him.

Danny picked Max up and sat, putting him on his lap. "Will this do? You know, Deej, I remember Steph looking up to you quite a bit after Mom died."

"Don't remind me. I'm thinking about how I could have been more proactive and not so worried about myself, and it just gnaws at me. I just want to make everything perfect right now, so we don't have the problems I did."

"Deej," Kimmy spouted, "you don't even have to be good at stuff. Look at me Wait, that didn't come out right."

Max plucked the cell phone out of Danny's pants as it rang, since he was blocking Danny from reaching it. He looked at the name. "It's Aunt Stephanie."

"Wow, you're such a good reader, Max. Hey, Steph…. Yeah, sorry to have to wake you. I know it's late in London… Oh, yeah, that's right, you're probably just getting off work huh?...Well, tell them thanks. Michelle will be waiting. Bye, sweetheart." He hung up. "Steph said someone's letting her borrow their private jet so it's not as rough getting flights with this short notice; she'll be able to pick up Michelle in New York then."

"Great; thanks, Dad. I did call…" She blinked, not wanting to mention the funeral plans. "Well, other places. You're right, we need to talk about our good memories."

A couple hours later, after much pizza and sweets had been consumed, Kimmy and Ramona were about to leave. "Sorry it couldn't be a happier party, Deej."

"Thanks, Kimmy. It just feels like it's going to be so lonely tonight. You guys coming and just being there to sit and listen, wasn't the only part that reminded me of when Mom died." D.J. smiled at Ramona. "All your hugs were great, too," she told Kimmy's girl before turning her attention back to Kimmy. "I remember I didn't want to stay in our house without Mom. Now?" D.J. shook her head, stilla bit overwhelmed.

Ramona hugged her for what must have been the tenth time, it seemed. "My mom said when in doubt I should hug, so…" she trailed off.

"I know. Dad seemed like he could survive anything. Dad was so good at what he did."

"I mean…" Ramona felt bad thinking about her own life, but she was about to leave with her mom to go to an empty house with her own uncertainty. "Never mind. What you're going through is so much worse."

Jackson would have let it go, but Max asked, "Worse than what?"

"Oh, I'm just worried about my papa," Ramona stammered. "But, you don't need to hear about that. Not with all those special memories we talked about with yours."

"You're right. We're all going through rough times. You did a great job helping them," Kimmy told her.

Ramona wondered once they left what was going to happen. "It seems so hard to understand right now. Everything is changing so much."

Ramona hugged and comforted the boys as best she could, but still she wondered "one of his what?" for a while till the funeral began. Then, at least she could think about the life of a faithful man who had died giving his life to save others. She really loved her papa and wished he was the same, although from what Kimmy had said, she wondered if it was one of his other ladies who had answered.

The minister shared about Tommy's life before going into a message. "...In talking with D.J. she told me the first thing her kids said was that their Daddy was a hero. Tommy Fuller made a life out of being a hero. We hope our heroes will always make it home. Sadly, sometimes they don't.

"But, thankfully this world isn't all there is. In John 11:25 Jesus promises 'I am the Resurrection and the Life, he that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.' Tommy believed…and anyone who calls on Jesus Christ to forgive them and save them from their sins can know they have eternal life, but also life more abundantly here on Earth, because what Christ did on the cross when He died once for all and then rose again did all that was needed to save one…He shouted 'tetelestai,' meaning 'It is finished,' and with simple faith in His Word, someone like Tommy can know for sure they have a personal relationship with Jesus right now…."

Ramona smiled. It was a great reminder that they could know they would see Tommy again. She understood that God didn't want people to be mindless robots so while He made the world without suffering or sin, He'd given people the opportunity to choose. They'd used that chance to choose good or evil to sin. Indeed, she knew she, herself, sometimes had selfish, bitter thoughts or behaved badly. She'd trusted Jesus to forgive her and save her, though she still battled those desires.

Still, it was such a struggle to understand why an adult – who was supposed to know better - would choose to do things that hurt others. Things like whatever was going on between her parents.
"Hey, Ramona," Jackson said afterward as the funeral attendees gathered at Danny's place. "How's it going?"

"Okay, I guess."

Max stood beside him and said, "Too bad your papa couldn't make it."

"Oh, thank you," she said with a giggle. "Actually, the way you pronounced the word, is the Spanish word for potato." The children laughed. "Right now, a laugh like that makes me feel very good, though."

Jackson was clearly releasing some extra stress himself; he continued to laugh until tears welled up in his eyes. "Yeah, that's great. Boy, Dad would have laughed so hard at that."

"I'm sure he is, looking down on us," Michelle reminded them as she walked past.

Stephanie concurred. "After Mom died, we used to love to share things about her, and how she'd react. It helped us to remember, helped us keep her in our hearts and also to think about her up there. The idea of hearing a man called a potato is pretty funny. He'd probably come up with another funny example or two," she finished.

"I do. I found this cool dance routine from 'New Kids on the Block' - it's from 1988 or so – on Youtube and totally aced it," Ramona said passionately, with gestures to match. "Mom says I'm an expert at it now. She and I started doing it together then."

Stephanie found it a little odd that Ramona would be so enthusiastic about having copied a dance routine that was a quarter of a century old, but didn't say anything. She was a Gibbler, so the unusual seemed natural. Although, she did wonder if it was to keep her from thinking of something else, given what D.J. had mentioned about Kimmy and Fernando.

"There's this ballerina coming to talk to our dance class tomorrow, her name's Sam. Her mom and her have gone all over the world; her dad, too, when he's been able to get off work. I hear she's from the area. Her parents adopted her when she was pretty young.

"Is her mom's name Karen?" It was. "I think I know who you mean," Stephanie replied. "She was my dance teacher when I was like seven or eight. Remember, Deej?" she asked D.J. as the older sister walked by. "We tried to set her up with Dad, but she didn't like cleaning, which was the opposite of Dad. But, perfect for Sam, because she needed someone who would pay total attention to her and not worry about little things, given how Sam had been neglected."

"I remember. Those were such good days, living in this house," D.J. said wistfully. "You know, it'd be in the same school district – I'm actually thinking you boys might like it if we moved in here for a while instead." She shrugged. "Just a thought."

"Well, don't do anything nuts right away," Michelle advised. She couldn't recall if D.J. and Tommy had owned or rented their house – if it was a rental it would make more sense to simply move in with Danny, but it'd still be a big change.

"We won't." The boys followed D.J. as she walked toward some other guests.

"Anyway, if Sam had been in our district, in our elementary school, sometimes I wonder, could we have been the ones helping her, maybe found out about her a year or two earlier. It would have been nice. But, you know, somehow it worked out," Stephanie said.

Ramona agreed. "Yeah, I guess this can, too."

She enjoyed the time talking with Sam the next day. She walked up to her and spoke individually, sharing how she'd copied that Youtube video. "It's a lot of fun to be able to focus on your passion,' Ramona said.

"It sure is. Dance has helped me to stay away from lots of sad thoughts," Sam advised. When Ramona mentioned her parents' fighting, Sam asked, "Do you have other family that can help?" The desire to copy videos that old - while logical normally for someone really determined - made even more sense to Sam now.

"Well, neither set of grandparents is really close. I mean, I guess D.J. would be the closest thing – it's funny, my mom was over there all the time from what she says when she was growing up," Ramona explained. She didn't really understand why, though, at her age – Kimmy's parents hadn't had marital problems. If they had, it would have made sense.

"Maybe you need to talk to her about it," Sam suggested.

Ramona didn't think she could do that. "Her husband just died. Would she even want to hear about all I'm feeling?"

Sam placed a hand on Ramona's shoulder. "Trust me, there's always someone who cares." She found it hard to believe yet sometimes, but when she focused on the positive things, and the unconditional love she knew God had that she'd seen in Karen, she knew it could happen. "If D.J. was your mom's friend, she might know how hard it is and just be waiting for you."

Ramona smiled. "Thanks."

A few days later, Ramona arrived home to see Fernando, who had just arrived home himself from another race. "Papa,' she said, running into his arms. "I have missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Ramona." After a warm embrace, Fernando saw Kimmy and said, "Ah, Kimberlina, what a magnificent homecoming to look into your beautiful, fabulous face and gaze into your eyes, which are the pictures of splendor, as deep as the deepest ocean…"

"You're just trying to butter me up, aren't you? Do you realize another woman answered when I tried to call you once?"

"Oh, yes, how was the funeral? I am so sorry, there was a race that day, and…"

"I don't care about that, you didn't have to be home for it, but why was one of your floozies answering the phone when…"

Ramona grumbled. She couldn't take it anymore. After a few minutes, she turned around, got on her bike, and sped off.

A short time later, in the middle of their argument, Kimmy got a text. "I wondered where Ramona was; she's with D.J.." She texted back saying she'd gotten the message. "Okay, where were we?"

At the Fuller home, D.J. put an arm around Ramona as they sat on the couch. "You boys go with Grandpa Tanner to help with the move, I'll be there soon." Turning back to the distraught girl, D.J. said softy, "Now, we're alone; what's really been going on with your mom and dad."

"Oh, D.J., you don't really want to know, do you? Your husband just died, do you really want me to tell you everything?' Ramona whined, hoping D.J. would say "yes" but still a little uncertain.

"Ramona, I can tell something's wrong. I never liked to say it in front of you, but I know your father likes other women, too. I can't stand that kind of attitude, and I don't blame you for not liking it, either," D.J. said soothingly.

"it's not that… it's just that…" Ramona sniffled. "I'm so scared, D.J. My mom's saying she wants a divorce again, and now another woman answered Papa's phone, and…" She sobbed softly in D.J.'s arms as she revealed all of her angst at what had been happening in her own family over the last few weeks, especially since Tommy had died when she didn't feel like her problems were as important, the idea of them splitting apart - or even fighting when she loved each so much - was painful.

"Oh, Ramona, don't ever think your problems are too little for us," D.J. reassured her. "I'll always be here to listen and help whenever I can. You mom and I have been friends since just about forever, and I'll always care about you, too."

"Really?" Ramona asked, still a bit teary

"Really. Ramona, sweetheart, I know it seems hard because I'm going through so much myself, but trust me, love isn't something you should divide. Truly unconditional love is something you multiply. I might not be able to love you as much as my own children – although you probably know if anything happens your parents have agreed I'd take care of you. But, I will always love you," D.J. promised.

"Thanks, D.J. I love you, too." Ramona shared for a while longer about her struggles, while letting D.J. cuddle her. It felt so good to release all of that frustration.

After a while, Kimmy walked into the living room. "Hey, Deej. The boys let me in." She turned to Ramona, who was still leaning on D.J.. "Well, I may as well tell you both; i figure you've already been sharing a lot of your worries with D.J; and, I'm glad. Anyway, I decided it's best if we leave your father, Ramona, and get our own place."

Ramona grunted. At least it wouldn't be up in the air anymore, though she wished they would get back together.

"He's on the road most of the time anyway," Kimmy reminded her. She told D.J., "I hope you don't think I'm doing the wrong thing. I know it's rough with Tommy having just died."

"Kimmy, you know how I feel about Fernando, and how he has treated you. I just told Ramona about that, too," D.J. said sympathetically.

They talked for a few minutes, and then embraced. Ramona said "I love you, Mom" and felt glad that at least they would be together.

"I love you too, Ramona," Kimmy said sincerely.

"Can I have a couple minutes more with D.J.?" Kimmy promised to help them move, and left with the boys. Ramona turned back to D.J.. "Thanks for everything."

"I'll be here for you anytime," DJ promised. "Don't worry about what time of day or night or anything," she emphasized. She knew such a situation could be very stressful for Ramona and that as she got older Ramona might need to vent a lot.

"Oh, I will, I've heard stories of how much my mom was over at your place. I just wish my parents would act like adults and settle things instead of fighting and splitting up," Ramona mourned.

D.J. understood. "Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't act like an adult. Sometimes in your spot kids have to, even though you don't want to because you want to rely on the adults. When our mom died Dad had trouble being willing to enforce limits with Michelle. I had to step in quite a bit for a while because he couldn't stand to see his little princess sad. I wish I had done more, and been proactive, it would have solved a lot of problems."

"So, tell me how I'm supposed to be proactive here?" Ramona insisted.

D.J. sighed. "I guess there really isn't a way," she confessed. "It's not like you even have younger siblings too watch out for. But, that can be a good thing. You can just focus on telling them to talk politely."

"Right, like I haven't tried that before," Ramona protested.

"Well, sometimes people are too caught up in their own bitterness. But, just remember that I will always be here for you. And your parents will, too, to help you through this. Sometimes, they might seem like little kids the way they fight, but they still love you more than anything. At least they aren't using you to get back at each other like some do. But, no matter what happens, you always have a friend here, one who will listen and help with whatever I can or just be there to hug for a while if you need it."

"Thanks D.J.," Ramona said as they embraced warmly. "I might need that a lot for a while."

Weeks later, D.J. and her two oldest boys had come over to visit Kimmy and Ramona in their new apartment. "How is Tommy Jr. doing? Ramona asked.

"Wonderful; my dad is so excited to have another grandson.," D.J. said.

"Wait till you see how Ramona decorated her room," Kimmy said as they led the Fullers there.

"Ramona was telling me about it," D.J. said. She decided to remain neutral about the fact Ramona had been settling in fairly nicely and hadn't seemed to need to talk to her much in the last month or so. She didn't want to give the impression she was happy, in case Ramona really had needed to; sometimes it was confusing, and she had enough to deal with in her own family.

Ramona waved her arms around. "I have decided that I would use the colors of the Argentine flag," she explained.

"I thought blue was usually for boys," Jackson said, scratching his head.

"They use blue, I will, too; I have decided that just because my papa is not with us I do not have to feel like he has left me; I can celebrate that part of me," she proclaimed.

Ramona stopped her showing of her room and stood in front of a small sign.

"This came from someone at our church – where they still remember my Mama makin strudels in the shape of the Wise Men once for a bake sale when it wasn't even Christmas. They think it was in February."

"What can I say? Gibbler Style Planning had early roots," Kimmy declared.

"Exactly. It means I don't have to define myself by whether my mama and papa are together or not. In Christ, I feel free to be known by how I care about others,” Ramona expressed. It would be hard, of course – for instance, weeks after offering to "live with the hobbits" and sleep in Nicky and Alex's old room if it meant so much to Jackson, she would be so upset she'd want to ditch school when it began in mid-August. She explained that, "I still have so many things conflicting in my mind. But, that verse," she said of Psalm 139:14, "tells me I am special." More lowly and passionately, she said, "I can – and do - matter to other people."

"Of course. Your papa and I will always love you," Kimmy promised.

"And, if you ever get mad at him, just remember to pronounce it pa'-pa instead," Max reminded her. He was proud of having helped in that small way, even if it had been unintentional.

Ramona chuckled and put an arm around him. "Yes, I will do that, if I am ever really upset, I will call him 'potato.'"

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't," D.J. assured her. "And, Max, you're right. Even that little mistake turned into something that helps Ramona – and Kimmy – in a number of ways. Just like when you dance, Ramona, or just how you help others – how any of us does – we're making the world a better place. Because there's so much that can tears us down."

Kimmy confirmed this. "I've had people say some of my party ideas have left them smiling for days. Or, maybe it was laughing. Probably both," Kimmy pondered aloud. "And, that's something we'll always be able to share, Ramona."

Ramona nodded slowly. It was quite hard. She'd heard one of the teachers at that church remark that Heaven probably felt like a great big hug that lasted forever. And, she'd sensed that as people prayed for her – some who were closer in their walks with the Lord felt it even more when they prayed or others prayed for them.

It was hard for Ramona since they were closer to the "fairly consistent bus rider" level D.J. and her sisters had been after Pam had died; they weren't regularly around really caring people who could build them up all the time. However, they had friends there, and she'd seen enough of that unconditional love to know it was real. She knew she could believe what Jesus had said: He was just a single, sincere prayer away from anyone who had a relationship with Him, meaning those who had called on Him for forgiveness of - and salvation from - their sin, making them new creatures inside, he

And, there was one special thing, just like Pam Tanner had talked about smiles, she could do to show that to others. She abruptly threw her arms around D.J. and Kimmy. "I love you guys," she said sincerely. As they all embraced, with Jackson and Max quickly joining in, she could sense the warmth and care they had for her.

"Thanks; we love you, too," D.J. and soon the others said very quickly.

"I wish hugs didn't have to end sometimes," Max said.

"Same here." Jackson wasn't as much like Danny as Max was, but he still had that Tanner love for hugging more than some boys.

Ramona agreed. "It always feels so good."

"That's why we keep people in our hearts. So they know we love them even when we aren't there physically," D.J. said. "But, a hug is a great reminder. It's good to reach out to others for that help, since we're here physically so we can give that help to others, like I've been here for you, Ramona. And, I'm sure you'll be the kind to reach out to others, too."

"Yeah," Jackson added, "someone was telling me now at least I'll be able to comfort someone whose dad gets hurt in the line of duty who doesn't have such a nice home."

D.J. told Jackson he had a good point. ""Same goes for you; you can comfort others and get plenty of love and kindness and all that back, Ramona."

"Maybe not always from the same people, but someone," Kimmy said, recalling how nice D.J. had always been to her.

Ramona agreed. "'When in doubt, hug' doesn't quite have the same ring as 'Give away a smile, it's free.' But, they're both great to do."

"You said it," several people said at once as they all hugged again.

Author's endnote: i probably won't have any other "Fuller House" stories with all the other stuff I do unless something in a later season really grabs my attention, but I thought you'd enjoy this. I may have a Book Universe story or two, albeit small, toward the end of the year, of course. thanks to all for reading and i pray this has been an encouragement to someone as well to reach out to others for help and to those who need help. The Godlife dot com site I mention in my fanfiction.net profile is also good for people to talk to online, too.