Create Like An Activist

As I write more things and Google shuttles my links around at the speed of light, I’ve noticed that people have come across my blog using some strange (sometimes disturbing) search terms. Sometimes, they’re actually looking for me, or my Evil Twin, “Teresa Jutsnio.” One person actually found my blog by looking up “Crotchetiness With Teresa” which is HILARIOUS, AND SHALL NOW BE THE TITLE OF THE TV SHOW I WILL HOST WHEN I’M OLD. So, I thought I’d start regularly sharing some of them with you. Because seriously…how do these people find me?!

Looking for Celebs in All The Wrong Places:

When people find me, chances are they’re actually looking for Matt Smith, Sasha Roiz, Alessandra Torresani, Lady Gaga, or Daniel Tosh. Which makes sense, as I’ve written about all those people at some point, sometimes more than once! However, there are some odd celeb-related searches…

Why yes, I AM a big woman with a sexy pussy. I am also a brunette with big tits. That said, I’m not showing any of it to you on the internet. I expect at least dinner and a movie before you get to see my goodies. I mean, that’s all about classiness and standards. And while I may or may not be interested in orgies or bondage, I’m definitely not a lesbian (sorry, ladies!).

Oddly Specific:

These folks clearly had very specific things in mind. Not that I always know what those things are, but still…

First of all, if you have cramps after every time you have sex, you should probably see a doctor. Secondly, I agree that my choices ARE none of your business. Third, I wouldn’t recommend corn flakes with orange juice. It’s gross. I speak from experience. Fourth, pregnant + monster + curves = the best Doctor Who episode never written. Fifth, I would never leave a homeless baby alone. Sixth, I hope they find justice for that girl’s monkey. And lastly, what the hell are dide face expressions?

Well, that’s all for now! What’s funny is that I know exactly why people ended up at my blog by searching these terms, and usually it’s for reasons that are the complete opposite of why they searched them. In any case, tune in next month when I give you the next 30 days in crazy search terms. And remember, when you type something into Google, the world is watching, and we reserve the right to make fun of you. Or, call the cops.

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5 Comments

Angela

I think this is your best blog post evahr! I laughed so hard at one point that, while trying to suppress the sound (since I’m at work), my gum nearly came out of my nose. You should’ve seen my dide face expression!

Priscellie

The searcher is not alone! I kept reading “China Mieville” as “Chiana Melville,” which is totally a female name according to Farscape. I was actually a little disappointed when I realized the female writer so many readers and reviewers were flailing with joy over was a dude.