joel's pub

"I know the Pope is infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't be wrong."
~Stephen Colbert

29 August 2005

i happened to catch a few minutes of cable news tonight in the newsroom. everyone was working themselves up into a doomsday hurricane catastrophe. it was great. geraldo was on fox news spewing his usual geraldo stupidness. then my co-worker terry mentioned that they're predicting actual alligator infestation in new orleans in the aftermath of hurricane katrina. so here's my final geraldo death scene played out.... geraldo is "mediating" a talk show involving a gang of klansmen, the new orleans black panther party and a 10-foot urban alligator that's survived the last 48 hours by living off oil refinery bi-products as soon as the chairs start flying and hit geraldo in the face, the 10-foot toxic chemical-burning alligator actually picks up a gun with its new opposable thumb and shoots geraldo in the ass.