OH, winter. You are a beast. You are a monster. You are my lover. Everything changes so drastically when you come. Certain birds actually fly thousands of miles to avoid you. Other require the seeds at my bird feeder to supplement their meek diets. You’ve forced the horses next door into greener pastures, away from my daily sight. I hate you for that. But your snow gives incredible joy to my puppy. I love you for that.

You have threatened my tractor with your cold temperatures. I have had to feed him antifreeze and cover him with a tarp to protect him. In summer, he can be free. You are forcing the deer to come closer to the house in search of food. But, without you, I wouldn’t have seen that awesome stag! My poor chickens are confined to their coop most of the day, forced out into the freezing air in search of corn and sunflower seeds. And you freeze their water. That’s a pain in my ass.

Your snow forces me to wear socks and boots. It’s amazing how your millions of individual snowflakes can so easily make their way into the holes of my knock-off crocs. Your ice forces me to be careful. And made Donnie fall and have his iphone hit him in the face and give him a bloody lip. (I’ll admit, that was kinda funny.) The over-cast skies and clouds full of snow could give a lesser person a seasonal disorder. But I am stronger than that. I will survive.

I’m getting llamas ole’ man Winter. Yeah, llamas. They like to stand out in the snow and aren’t afraid to get a few flakes on their back. Take that! I’m baking bread and making soups and loving the scent of my rosemary tree. I’m starting my tractor to keep him running smoothly. I’m watching Christmas movies and wondering if Danny Kaye was really gay? Know this, you won’t get me down. Spring is coming! And I didn’t plant all those bulbs for nothing! Greenery will reappear. Warmth will once again embrace the farm. But we will live with you, because we respect your importance and know that without you, a snowman would be a hell of a lot harder to make.