Stop Agreeing To Unclear Requests [New Post]

This is particularly true when the one receiving the request blindly says “yes.”

Get the latest podcast interviews

Sign up today for my free weekly update

No spam. I promise.

What is an unclear request? It’s when you ask me to do something but are vague about what you want.

Scenario A: Omission of the “What.”

Imagine that you are the design manager for a team creating a new product for the home refrigerator. When attached to the fridge, it senses when the door isn’t closed all the way and emits a sound. When Henry Homeowner hears this sound, he knows to go back and find out what’s blocking the door.

I’m your lead designer, and we have a preliminary conversation about the product and what it will do. You close by saying to me, “Give me something by Thursday at 5pm.”

I think to myself, Hmm, I don’t really know what “something” means, but that’s what they pay me to do, and I don’t want to look stupid by asking a question. So I say, “You got it, boss.”

I work hard on this for three days, and on Thursday afternoon give you what you asked for. Ten minutes later, the phone rings. “That is not what I asked for” you say with audible frustration. I feel dejected and angry. What a waste of time!

Scenario B: Omission of the “When.”

Same product, people, and situation. But this time, you say, “Give me a 3D prototype with basic specs next week.”

When I hear this, I understand what will satisfy you and know that it’s urgent. So I shift my schedule around to allow me to get you the prototype by next Friday at noon, five hours before your deadline.

On Wednesday morning, you knock on my door. “Where’s the prototype?” you ask.

My throat tightens, and pressure mounts in my forehead. In a low apologetic voice, I reply, “I’m working on it.”

The frown on your face tells me that this isn’t the answer you were looking for. “I told you I needed it this week. We’re already halfway through the week.”

Oops.

Scenario C: Omission of the “What” and the “When.”

Same product, people, and situation. This time, you say, “Give me something ASAP.”

Although I don’t know what will satisfy you or when you want it, I agree to the request.

What happens next: as the saying goes, I get my just dessert.

Who messed up?

When it’s time for the team’s annual Broken Trust Awards, which one of us gets to walk away with a medal?

The answer, of course, is both. You receive the Fuzzy Duddy Award for making the unclear request. I get the Dummy Award for accepting it.

What can I do differently?

The obvious answer is to resent you for being so unclear. You’re the manager. You’re supposed to know what you’re talking about. Stop jerking me around!

Or, I can own up to my part of the situation. The next time you make an unclear request, I choose to do one of the following:

Ask for clarification. “I get what you’re looking for and want to make sure I understand when exactly you want it. You said ‘next week.’ When during the week did you have in mind?”

Propose something more specific. “OK, so you want something by Thursday at 5pm. I want to make sure that we are on the same page in terms of what you want. If I gave you a table of features and benefits, will this work for you, or did you have something else in mind?”

Promise to propose something more specific. “I’ve got the timeframe and understand that it may not be clear exactly what you’re looking for. What I’d like to do is take two hours and come back to you with a proposal for what I’ll have for you by Thursday at 5pm. Will this work for you?”

Connect on Facebook?

"One of my top guys got an outside offer and was ready to leave the team. I've lost several people like this over the years. But he chose to stay. He now sees me as a manager of choice, an outcome enabled by Amiel's coaching."

“When you work with Amiel, you get someone who knows when to challenge you and when to provide support, and who creates a program that is unmistakably for you rather than generic executive X. We worked together during a pivotal time in my organization’s history, when a crisis hit and our people needed a clear sense of direction and a compelling story to grab onto. Amiel helped me create both. Perhaps best of all, his support helped me renew my commitment to bringing my full energy to work each day and ensuring the rest of our people could do the same."

"Amiel, I have deeply appreciated your friendship, coaching, and guidance over the last few years. Our work together has changed me in the way that pervades everything that I do in my life. You have had a way of letting me learn for myself, which is very important when dealing with someone as strong-headed as me. I thank you for understanding the complexity of life and for listening deeply, something that very few people do."

"My favorite moment in sailing occurs when the sails are up, my course is set, and I lift my hand from the helm to find the boat is balanced. In that moment, I have achieved a zen-like balance where the heavens, wind, and water are in perfect harmony while I leverage them to get where I am going. Amiel revealed the secret that enabled me to create a similar harmony at work for myself and the people I work with. Just as I leveraged the environment in sailing, I now leverage my strengths in a bigger way and speak about the innovations we are creating with passion and authenticity. Now I am making large strides in preserving the environment I sail in, not just for me now but the future."

"The year I worked with Amiel was one of the most transformational in my adult life. With Amiel’s support, I learned to do three things that I (and my staff) didn’t at first think possible: slow down enough to truly listen to others’ ideas, empower my staff to succeed, and smile—a lot! The regular live shadowing and Amiel’s forthright feedback made a particularly big difference for me and for my team. I couldn’t recommend Amiel more highly."

CONNECT WITH ME

Featured Testimonials

“When you work with Amiel, you get someone who knows when to challenge you and when to provide support, and who creates a program that is unmistakably for you rather than generic executive X. We worked together during a pivotal time in my organi...

Rick C.Senior Fellow and General Manager, Fortune 100 company

“Amiel, I have deeply appreciated your friendship, coaching, and guidance over the last few years. Our work together has changed me in the way that pervades everything that I do in my life. You have had a way of letting me learn for myself, whic...