Dead Tree Becomes More Than An Eyesore

You may recall from a previous post that I have a ridiculously enormous dead tree in my front yard. Up to now, it’s been mainly an eyesore and a bit of a nuisance when little limbs fall into the yard and have to be hauled to the street. In my open letter to the Huge Dead Tree, I made some requests and did a little pleading. Maybe a tiny threat. It turns out my requests weren’t specific enough. I should have said, “Huge Dead Tree, you are welcome to drop limbs. Small limbs, no longer than I am tall, and weighing significantly less. Also, if you must drop a giant limb that weighs as much as and is probably as tall as most normal trees, I have a very specific arm in mind. One that will land in the middle of my front yard and cause a big mess, but nothing more than an irritation and further eyesoreness. Also, I probably should have specifically requested that the Dead Tree not damage any of our property, including (but not limited to) anything that would require an electrician to fix.

We all know my threats to cut down the tree were basically idle, until such point as my disposable income was enough to cover the cost and leave us enough to buy a new transmission (because that will inevitably happen, even though the transmissions in both cars are no more than a year old each), which would probably have been close to never. So I genuinely hope the Dead Tree wasn’t retaliating to my threats by doing what it did.

Naughty, naughty Dead Tree lost about six hundred pounds yesterday by dropping its most gigantic arm right onto the power line connecting my house to the pole. This caused the cables to yank out of their normal positions and some regularly straight piping to bend into an L.

Obviously, this killed the power to my house. Unfortunately, it also killed power to the rest of the neighborhood. I felt bad enough having a dead tree for everyone to look at, now my dead tree has caused hours of powerlessness for them as well.

The power company took down the line and restored everyone else’s power and told me, as kindly as he could, that I was going to have to hire an electrician to fix the pipe and cables attached to the house before my power could be reconnected. Also, it would have to be inspected to make sure it was up to code. It was immediately clear this was going to be an extensive and expensive project. Potentially more expensive than if we’d just cut down Dead Tree a long time ago. The only problem is, we didn’t have the money before, and we barely have it now, so basically, this tree limb fell at the earliest possible time we could have spent any money to cut the whole thing down. Thanks for that kick in the shins, Dead Tree.

I must shout out to newly named and high-spirited Friend-With-The-Worst-Wireless-Password-In-The-World (or FWTWWPITW). Just Kidding! We’ll call her Sassy Friend. Sassy Friend saved me last night by agreeing to let me sleep over, for which I will be eternally grateful. Almost as important to me as having air conditioning was having a wireless connection, which she also generously provided.

Now I just have to learn to deal with the fabulous subset of blue-collar workers known as electricians. So far only one I’ve talked with has had a basic understanding of the English Language and a pretty decent estimate but neglected to call me to let me know something else came up and he couldn’t come to the house before next week when he’d told me this morning he’d be out at the house first thing. Good thing I called him when I did to find out that he wasn’t coming so I could secure someone else to do the job…putting it four more hours behind schedule. I was trying to be funny in this post but I think it’s probably coming through that I’ve about had it up to my frontal lobe with this entire situation and would like to get my hands around the neck of any electrician I can find. Or else just cry.

Yes, homeowner’s insurance would cover it if it costed more than our deductable. It didn’t. And since the EXACT SAME THING happened today that happened on Thursday, when we pay for THAT to be fixed, it’ll be a different procedure and therefore still under the deductable.

Trust me, we’ve thought of these things.

And as far as cutting down the tree goes, it’s really too huge to do it without paying a professional, and since we keep having to pay electricians, we can’t afford to get the tree cut down at this point. It’s the worst catch 22 in the whole world.

I don’t like this solution, but it might be worth taking a loan or second mortgage out on the house to pay for the tree to be taken down then. I really don’t like owing anyone money for anything, but this seems like it would be a better situation than just sitting there while limbs repeatedly fall on your house and devalue your property.

I mean, you don’t want to pay for a bunch of electrical work to be done, only to have another limb fall on the house so that you have to repeat the process….

Also, maybe you could work out some sort of bartering deal with a tree cutter (surely there’s an actual title I don’t know for that profession). Math tutoring? Free books? Medical advice? Illegal prescriptions?

Naomi, I totally agree with your conclusion that we don’t want to pay for all this to be done and then have it happen again because we couldn’t afford to get the tree taken down.

Since we also can’t afford to pay extra for the electrician to come out on the weekend, Hubby is coming home to cut up the fallen limbs and see what limbs he can take down himself while the power line is still down. That way we aren’t risking a THIRD falling limb pulling down the line.

I think I could barter with the exceptionally drunk people that keep coming by my house asking to do yardwork for beer money (they would LOVE illegal prescriptions, if only Hubby had access…) to cut down my tree, but with our luck, this already drunk laborer would accidentally cause a tree to smush his head and we’d get charged with murder. I don’t think licensed tree cutters (lol) actually do the barter system, since they have to pay their workers, and what not. It’s generally more than a one person job.

OK..not that I doubt your husband at all..but please make sure that he does some reading about climbing and chainsaw usage before getting up in a tree with a chainsaw. And he should have manly help. Brother? Neighbor? Uncle? Dad? Father in law? Friend? Just for safety’s sake…

Actually, you’d be surprised on the bartering thing . . . people have all sorts of skills that you don’t know about! It appears you are just out of the loop on that one. My upstairs neighbor Alec bartered a thorough kitchen cleaning for a impromptu throat exam and prescription. And my yoga mama has a deal with the liquor store to order her beer (Guinness Stout) by the case on the cheap. And my parents just got a deal on a new screened in porch for their rental house by finding someone who would let my dad help build it and take off for the time saved. Heck, I bartered a math class for two 8th graders (1 hour 4 days a week) for Katrina’s tuition at RMCS last Spring. There are all sorts of mutually beneficial arrangements to be made in this world. . And my daughter’s school does still pay their employees–thank you very much.

Also, seeing as how desperate people are for work nowadays, someone might just be willing to offer you a payment plan just to get the work. (If they say no at first, just tell them that you’re going to call around to all the other tree cutters and see if anyone can help you out with this one, since you don’t have the money and are desperate. Not fun to say, but it is the truth.)

I know that it’s hard to believe at times, but most people are actually decent and good and kind. Even people who run businesses. They’ll help you out of a jam if they can, but you have to ask for help.

And remember to be kind to your drunks and neighbors. (Not that you aren’t; it may just be the way I read your last couple of posts and not the way they were intended.) After all, if you’re going to break into someone’s house, wouldn’t you rather break into the bi*** on the corner’s house than the lady who sits on the porch reading and asks how your day has been going when you walk by (even though you’re walking a fierce looking pit and have your pants sagging way too low and doing your absolute best to look like a very intimidating thug)? It’s worth thinking about. . .

Hubby’s Father joined us in Auburn before Tom took a chainsaw 30 feet up into the tree. He tried it with a hand saw but almost passed out from heat/exhaustion/dehydration, so we waited until manly help arrived and proceeded from there. Hubby is truly a rock star. He cut down three large arms of the tree and didn’t hit the house and barely had one bit in the street.

I’m sure I’ll post about all of the doings of today at some point, but all I can say now is, there’s still work to be done, but unless the whole tree trunk falls on that power line, it’s as safe as it’s gonna get going forward.

I am totally surprised by the bartering thing. I’m not a keen negotiator, myself…so I’ve never really tried to offer a service in place of a fee before, but you’re right – with the economy the way it is, people can really get creative.

I think we’ll be safe holding off on getting further work done on the tree for another few weeks until we can replenish our funds. The electrician we ended up hiring is so nice. He stopped by our house this morning just as we arrived to check out the damage after he’d finished with church, and wasn’t asking us to pay him. We told him we’d have to do without power this weekend because we couldn’t afford his extra fee. So yeah, we’ve had to admit our financial crisis to many people and it gets easier over time. Thank God Tom and I are both working now and can afford for a few minor disasters to occur. Just not many.

I think I’m friendly to everyone I see, but I know I can come across as a little stand-off-ish. It’s not that I am being snobby or unfriendly – I just genuinely don’t know how to relate well to strangers. I feel very uncomfortable when I try. I’m a shy person, especially at first. I can’t help it if they think I’m unfriendly or a jerk and use that as their justification for breaking into my house or hurting me in some way…I don’t claim any responsibility for someone else’s bad behavior. But I do try to be friendly, because I think it’s the right thing to do, and I care about people in general.

And, I don’t like to be hit up for odd jobs, mostly because it happens so regularly at home, and when we’ve tried to help these guys out, they don’t do the job we’ve paid them to do. I’ve let my negative experiences affect the way I refer to these sorts of folks, which probably isn’t right. I’m always as nice as I can be when they do catch me outside or if I answer the door while Tom is in. We’re just not in a position to hire someone to do work we can do ourselves, even if we really don’t want to do it. And most of the time, the end result is a lot better when we’ve done it ourselves, because we actually take pride in it.

Thanks Liz! Naomi, Liz is very kind to all the drunks in the neighborhood….let me rephrase that, Liz is always quick to hide from the drunks in the neighborhood…but when forced to talk, she is always very kind. So no worries!

Oh, I know she would never be blatantly RUDE. (Unlike me . . .) But, I thought she might give the “I’m scared of you and I wish you would go away,” vibe, in a completely on-accident way, which can be even more offensive at times. But I guess it would be pretty hard to cover that up too. . . . Hm.

It’s funny how people will want to be scary, so that they can be offended that your scared of them, so that they can see you as somehow less than human, so that they can justify taking advantage of you. (Or maybe that’s just my twisted perception of other people’s twisted perceptions.)

Awww, Hubs, I appreciate your confidence in my kindness. It’s tough but I do try 🙂

And Naomi, I understand exactly what you’re saying. I don’t think people consciously do that, but I do think it’s a defense mechanism that works for some people. And by ‘works’ I mean gives them an excuse to hate people. Very sad.