Haim & Lorde Cover Sheryl Crow’s ‘Strong Enough’

By Alex Panisch Nov. 22, 2013, 10:10 p.m.

1. Not quite sure what to do with your weekend but positive that you don’t want to have sex. Well then, might I direct you to the trailer for Lars von Trier’s latest boner-killer, Nymphomaniac? The film, whose world premier is next month, will be cut into two feature films and distributed globally. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the film is ineligible to compete at next year’s Cannes Film Festival, but the festival may screen von Trier’s original director’s cut, which clocks in at 5 ½ hours. This’ll put you off doing the nasty faster than walking in on your grandparents doing it.

3. In order to prevent same-sex couples from getting spousal benefits from the National Guard, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallon has ordered state owned National Guard facilities to stop processing all military spousal benefits. Stephen Colbert, of course, finds the silver lining.

4. Will Ferrell has been on his Anchorman 2 media blitz and the resaults have been nothing but magical. Case in point, Will Ferrell, as ace reporter Ron Burgundy, went on Conan last night and sang Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's reelection song, Loverboy's "Working For The Weekend."