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I have been observing myself, to find the things that cause me suffering in my life. I wanted to list these things in hopes others may begin to observe their own inner states that cause suffering. I wanted to share a short experience with you, to show how unhealthy states of mind can affect our lives on a daily basis.

To start off with, i notice my thoughts may be clear and peaceful, and then i may get involved in something maybe on the computer, taking a shower, cooking. I begin to notice my thoughts can change in the blink of an eye without me even realizing it. For instance maybe someone i did not quite get along with, or someone i fell madly in love with did not love me back the way i expected, or maybe i just needed some recognition for the things i do. I begin to notice my head gets very heavy, but on a conscious level i can't understand why. As the day passes i still have no idea why i am feeling so drained and have that heavy feeling inside my head. I am now beginning to understand these states where i feel this suffering are caused by my own mind. Which i am now beginning to be much more aware when my thoughts change. I seek peace within myself and to share outside of me with others. If i am peaceful inside i will naturally spread this to others. Observing ones thoughts at any given moment is a challenge, the question is are you up for the challenge of a lifetime. This is life changing!

Some of the things i have observed are:

Control: This is a big one, that i have not found to benefit me in my life in any way.

Judgement: Another tough one to overcome, too often do i find myself judging others & myself or comparing others to myself, only to make myself feel better about myself. When i already know i am a wonderful person inside, if i only looked inside myself rather than outside of me.

Jealousy: Too often do i find myself becoming jealous of others, for what they have achieved in their lives physically & spiritually. When deep down i know, how beautiful we all are inside and out. What does it matter how much success or progress one has made, and it goes right back to the comparing.We are all making progress in one way or another.

Fear: Too often i find myself scared to do something or meet people on the street, as much of my fears stem from past situations and thinking within my mind.

Worry: I worry because my mind has adapted to the way of thinking many of us have been accustomed too, but ultimately it is my time to break away from this concept, how long it takes depends on my own shoulders.

Anger: This also has seems to come from alot of my past situations, when i start disassociating these situations and begin to understand how to let them go, so i do not react the same way when i encounter a similar situation only then will i be able to heal and release this association.

Envy: Too often do i see myself evying what others have, whether it be a nice house, a working relationship, or their spirituality. I need to remember that i am moving forward my happiness does not depend on achieving what others have already achieved. I am me my path is before me, and walking it is wonderful, there's so much to explore and learn. You are your own master be blessed in all that you do.

Pride: I have been hurt many times by allowing this state to bloom, especially the whole dogma about man and woman being separate. The whole male and woman ego thing competing with one another. Too often i found myself, feeling lower than women as they become successful and independent, pride has affected me and usually anger will arise if pride blooms long enough. This one i feel is tricky, cause i have read that pride is good & bad. So be weary if you want to become aware of your states of being.

Opinions: Oh boy this one im sure will cause controversies, but i have noticed how many arguements i have gotten into, with others over opinions. I am learning that i know everything, i know nothing. These are the feelings that come, before the argument as i share my opinions (I know) and the feeling after the argument (I dont know) Ultimately if i knew how to speak or write without controlling thoughts, maybe i wouldn't even have an opinion, and eloquently state things in healthier ways. Instead of trying to prove my opinion. Maybe i could ask questions about someone elses. This is still a work in progress, but the more awareness the less controlling one becomes.

Blame: Too often i find myself blaming others for my anger, or suffering. When i have come to realize that inside me is where my unhappiness lies. Not from someone else externally. People can push our buttons, but remove the buttons so no one can push them.

Ultimately it is our own mind and thinking that causes us suffering, the self discovery program, is the way we change our internal states and become aware of the causes of our own sufferings. When you find yourself suffering from something throughout the day, your head feels heavy, you feel agitated or impatient, or maybe even depressed. It is our internal thinking and past situations that cause our own suffering. Please be free from these things, find the peace you desire within, and you will see the world in a whole new light. Just maybe you will be able to be great Inspirations for others as well.[b]

Know all your enemies and you will know all your friends. (Our negative states are our enemies, without the knowing of them all, how can you know all your positive states which are all your friends) To do this write down all the negative states that surface, that keep you from experiencing a more peaceful state, it could be as simple as expectations, can you recall how many times you expected a certain outcome and have felt horrible that it didn't go the way you hoped? I know i have many times, theres many and im sure if you took 5 minutes to write down some of the things that have created suffering in your life, you will come to realize that you are beginning to win the battle, as you now recognize what causes some of your suffering.

Yeah i can relate Vanilla, Bitterness is one that needs to be added to the list. I have been bitter towards my neighbor for months. Everytime i hear her voice through her window, my thoughts start running wild. Her and i got into a disagreement she said some things as i did as well. I wrote an appology to her even though i felt i wasn't at fault. But the more i thought about the whole interaction, i realized that i was partly at fault, i like to say 50% I began expecting her to appologize to me, as i felt i did my part.

But i started sending her Love, because this bitterness was lingering, and i couldn't seem to shake it. Everytime i feel the bitter feeling rise in me, i send Love to her and change my thoughts and find good things about her. We all have are strengths and weaknesses. Next time you feel that bitterness rise up inside you, start sending Love from your chest to the person, visualize it pink or white or any color you see in your minds eye. Then start thinking about the good qualities about them.

Before long you will notice the strings of bitterness being cut. And then you will be able to forgive that person fully. Also look at it as the lessons you learned about yourself, from the whole situation, this also helps me, when i think about the interaction with my neighbor. I ask myself what was i suppose to learn from the situation. When you do make sure the teaching you gained refers to you internally and not about avoiding the situation, or focused solely on the situation.

I'm just trying to help, as i am going through the exact same thing. I am learning through the interaction with my neighbor, that i got angry because of my association with similar situations from my past have anger attached to them. Bitterness can turn into anger in a heartbeat, this is one thing i notice with me. You will overcome the bitterness so you can be free of this, just as i will. One day you will think of this person, and know they taught you many valuable lessons, and then you will heal fully from the whole attachment.

My bitterness does not always lie with one individual person or persons, but more as to situations. An example, the time I had a broken foot, but it never got x rayed nor mended in the outpatients dept at the hospital years ago, and I was sent home in agony. But a drunk man who had been in a fight ( Saturday night, Sunday morning. ) ( I took myself to the hospital 7am ) was taken for x ray for his head wound. Yet years later I fell when out walking my three dogs, taken by ambulance to outpatients, given stitches, but no x ray on my head. Things that make me feel that I have been badly treated and treated unfair, makes me bitter, and stays with me for many years. And there have been a few others.

Forgive me i did not understand Vanilla, unfairness in our world does not make much sense. But we need to understand that what we put out, through our thoughts and feelings is very powerful. Wouldn't you love for those people that treated you unfair to start treating others more fairly? If so send them Love & break those negative attachments to them. What keeps a person bitter is the attachment. I have my own issues to work on, but i can feel the freedom, when the strings are cut. Send Love out no matter what, and think about the good things they may do in the world. You will overcome this Vanilla i know, because i am. Everything happens for a reason, maybe the teaching is to help you overcome this bitter feeling all together. This situation that happened to you, may be for a reason, look at things in a more positive way. Always bring the focus back to yourself, so you can see what it is you need to learn. What others need to learn is on them, and we can't make them see it or change unless they want to. Change is one thing, people seem to fight against in the world. Some feel why should i change, then i wouldn't be me! This is totally wrong, an eye for an eye, no give a person just what they need, which is love and know that it is working within them, even if you don't see it. Our job is not to see the change in a person, that's the expecting, our job as humans is to give love without expecting it back. The more we practice this the more we heal inside. I hope i didn't say anything to offend, that was not my purpose. I have much to work on, each day is a new Journey of Discovery within myself, i do my best to share what i am learning, as i learn from all of you. I am not where i am today without any of you in my life.

No not at all did you offend. Just felt my previous posting was not made clear. I sometimes post something that makes full sense to me, without rereading that it could be read or interpreted in a completely different way. Ie: bitterness is usully expressed on another, singular human being, that maybe has done something to hurt me. Yet for me my bitterness mainly comes from an unfairness of situations.

Vanilla2 wrote:My bitterness does not always lie with one individual person or persons, but more as to situations. An example, the time I had a broken foot, but it never got x rayed nor mended in the outpatients dept at the hospital years ago, and I was sent home in agony. But a drunk man who had been in a fight ( Saturday night, Sunday morning. ) ( I took myself to the hospital 7am ) was taken for x ray for his head wound. Yet years later I fell when out walking my three dogs, taken by ambulance to outpatients, given stitches, but no x ray on my head. Things that make me feel that I have been badly treated and treated unfair, makes me bitter, and stays with me for many years. And there have been a few others.

Dear Vanilla2,Do you still feel this way.?The answer given to you seems a good one.I do not get bitter,I basically am lazy,it just seems to take up so much energy.Stephen

Skfarblum ( Stephen ) yes afraid I still do as to my previous statement, regarding those two situations, on the plus side, nothing has given me any reason to have caused me any bitterness since. Thank the Lord.

Spirit-Being wrote:Forgive me i did not understand Vanilla, unfairness in our world does not make much sense. But we need to understand that what we put out, through our thoughts and feelings is very powerful. Wouldn't you love for those people that treated you unfair to start treating others more fairly? If so send them Love & break those negative attachments to them. What keeps a person bitter is the attachment. I have my own issues to work on, but i can feel the freedom, when the strings are cut. Send Love out no matter what, and think about the good things they may do in the world. You will overcome this Vanilla i know, because i am. Everything happens for a reason, maybe the teaching is to help you overcome this bitter feeling all together. This situation that happened to you, may be for a reason, look at things in a more positive way. Always bring the focus back to yourself, so you can see what it is you need to learn. What others need to learn is on them, and we can't make them see it or change unless they want to. Change is one thing, people seem to fight against in the world. Some feel why should i change, then i wouldn't be me! This is totally wrong, an eye for an eye, no give a person just what they need, which is love and know that it is working within them, even if you don't see it. Our job is not to see the change in a person, that's the expecting, our job as humans is to give love without expecting it back. The more we practice this the more we heal inside. I hope i didn't say anything to offend, that was not my purpose. I have much to work on, each day is a new Journey of Discovery within myself, i do my best to share what i am learning, as i learn from all of you. I am not where i am today without any of you in my life.

~Love, Light, Blessings~

That's strange. I have come off another forum where the same subject has been discussed. Not your topic,Vanilla.But a very simulia one. Some young member on there is breaking her heart over love.What can we say? Words are useless but we can understand the reason why love can be so heartless.

I agree with Vanilla about bitterness being caused mostly by situations (Jackie, I love your user name "Vanilla". For some reason it causes me to feel good whenever I say it or think it.). I don't really feel bitterness toward people because we are all in more or less some sort of state of ignorance. My feelings of bitterness over a lot of years has been toward God because of "situations". I guess that I feel that things are His fault because He allowed them to happen either through action or inaction. I know that it is wrong for me to feel this way but to be honest with myself, I do feel this way. I have spent my whole life attempting to achieve some sort of a yoked/union state of being with Him, but for some reason life is constantly issuing me situations that cause me to be bitter toward God. Yep Vanilla, I agree with "situations" causing "bitterness", a bitterness that does not go away very easy. These situations seem to be like being exposed to radiation. They seem to be accumulative and the more one experiences these "situations" the more "bitterness" one feels. They begin to stack up and cause a very deep emotional response. It is kind of like a tornado that starts out very small and over time becomes an EMF 5. Being in an EMF 5 emotional state toward God is interesting, but He doesn't seem to get very upset about it. His will is supreme. Argg. I love God dearly, at least part of the time . John

And yes, learning how to exist in a powerless, hopeless, totally vulnerable state of being and still maintain your sanity is probably something that a yogi seeking the yoked to God experience should learn how to do. But I think that there should be a kinder gentler way, but oh well. And I suppose that if I do survive the experience that I will have some depth of character. Argg. John

Footnote: I have to say though that this last go around that I had with God that He got mad, very angry and Lord Jesus had to intercede. Me being in an EMF 5 emotional state and Father God being in an EMF 5 emotional state was an interesting experience. The Christian Bible says that Father God can get angry but that is the first time I have ever experienced Him getting angry. We were very upset at each other. Thank God for Lord Jesus He creates hope and solve, at least in my reality. John

On my assumption of " everything happens for a reason, " of which I am and always will be a firm believer in that statement, yet I do often ask our God why oh why does he let some things happen. I never get angry with our God because as I say, " everything he allows to happen, happens for a reason, but there are many a time I do ask him ( God ) for what reason could he have allowed this particular thing to have happened. By that statement I am referring to such things as, a baby or young child to suffer terribly at the hands of a partner of the child's mother to the extent he/she is left with broken ribs, where this childs torture has gone on and on for many months, years even. I ask him why an elderly lady in her 70s 80s or even 90s is brutally raped and murdered by a sadistic young man when she was coming home from her church/ or a night out from playing bingo/ or just innocently answering her door to a stranger, when you hear that this gentle lady wouldnt have hurt a fly. The list can go on and on, but you get my drift.

Dear Jackie,I am not sure there is a good answer.Some people claim itis due to God not wanting to interfere in our freewill.Others will claim it is all karma.I do not know.Perhaps the problem lies with ourunderstanding of God?Stephen

Vanilla2 wrote:On my assumption of " everything happens for a reason, " of which I am and always will be a firm believer in that statement, yet I do often ask our God why oh why does he let some things happen. I never get angry with our God because as I say, " everything he allows to happen, happens for a reason, but there are many a time I do ask him ( God ) for what reason could he have allowed this particular thing to have happened. By that statement I am referring to such things as, a baby or young child to suffer terribly at the hands of a partner of the child's mother to the extent he/she is left with broken ribs, where this childs torture has gone on and on for many months, years even. I ask him why an elderly lady in her 70s 80s or even 90s is brutally raped and murdered by a sadistic young man when she was coming home from her church/ or a night out from playing bingo/ or just innocently answering her door to a stranger, when you hear that this gentle lady wouldnt have hurt a fly. The list can go on and on, but you get my drift.

! So how about this (and I hope that Spirit Being will forgive us for possibly some topic drift here), "If there is a reason for everything, then there is a reason for us to question God's actions or in action." First of all Spirit Being with his OP, in my opinion, is absolutely correct and the way that one should approach things. His OP approach is also the approach that I have always used as a guide with the untangling of my mind and emotional relationships with other people. And in an ideal world one would also use Spirit Beings OP approach to untangling one mind and emotional relationship with God should their relationship with this higher source have any tangle up.

Vanilla, I too have spent a lot of my life questioning God's action or inaction in both my life and in the lives of others. The result of exploring this question extensively was that God will not go against our "will". And apparently this also includes the "will" of our subconscious mind's programing. So there can be a situation where one's conscious mind is willing but one's subconscious mind is "not willing" and God will not go against this "will" of the subconscious mind. To me this is not fair because changing the personality programming of the subconscious mind, if one even has the ability to understand it, is extremely difficult. My battle with God was that, "I am in a state of ignorance, fix it whether I want you to or not!" He said no. He said that He will not go against the "will" of my subconscious mind's programming even though it is in a state of ignorance. And that whatever God's action or inaction is, this inaction or action is my fault because the part of my personality that is in my subconscious mind's programing restricts His ability to participate in my life. He will not go against it's "will". So all of the things that happen is because God is not given permission to be involved because "He" considers our "will" supreme over His. And this is even though the ignorance that is causing this restriction involves a part of our mind that we don't even understand or know exists.

He said that He can't fix it because I will not let Him, I said a few things, He got mad, very angry, and something happened. Whatever that something was, my life will never be the same again. We will see, I could be in a lot of trouble for upsetting God. This does worry me a bit. John

Hello, Vanilla & John, your perspectives on the ‘injustices’ of existence resonate with me. My apperception is that the uncertainties of life and the vicissitudes of existence do not in any manner contradict the concept of the sovereignty of choice. All evolutionary creature life is beset by certain inevitabilities. I envisage that there is a necessary aspect of our humanness that values principles and ethics, albeit it might be social mores, that vibrates with us at several levels.

Consider the following vicissitudes of existence:-

Is courage (strength of character) desirable?. Then we must be reared in an environment which necessitates grappling with hardships and reacting to disappointments.

Is altruism (service of one's fellows) desirable?. Then must life experience provide for encountering situations of social inequality.

Is hope (the grandeur of trust) desirable. Then human existence must constantly be confronted with insecurities and recurrent uncertainties.

Is faith (the supreme assertion of human thought) desirable?. Then must the human mind find itself in the troublesome predicament where it ever knows less than it can believe.

Is the love of truth and the willingness to go wherever it leads, desirable?. Then we must grow up in a world where error is present and falsehood always possible.

Is idealism (the approaching concept of wisdom) desirable?. Then we must struggle in an environment of relative goodness and beauty, surroundings stimulative of the irrepressible reach for better things.

Is loyalty (devotion to highest duty) desirable?. Then we must carry on amid the possibilities of betrayal and desertion. The valor of devotion to duty consists in the implied danger of default.

Is unselfishness (the spirit of self-forgetfulness) desirable? Then we must live face to face with the incessant clamoring of an inescapable self for recognition and honor. We could not dynamically choose the wisdom in life if there were no self-values to forsake. We could never lay saving hold on righteousness if there were no potential evil to exalt and differentiate the good by contrast.

Is pleasure (the satisfaction of happiness) desirable?. Then we must live in a world where the alternative of pain and the likelihood of suffering are ever-present experiential possibilities.

All those human qualities require its shadows, ‘sine qua non’.The brighter the light, the darker the shadow….

~*~

Be wellElrick

_________________There is no direct experience of reality without interpretation; and all interpretation is distorted by the cultural and personal prejudices or prejudgements of the interpreter.