There will be moments where you will be confident in your life after loss and then suddenly someone will pull you down. Remember that you have come a long way and worked hard to regain your stance – don’t allow a negative comment to undo all that hard work – stand up for what you have become, which is a much stronger person who is now aware of the value of loss.

There will be times when you will want to just give up – DON’T! Ask for help straight away from your professional medical doctor. Listen and act upon their advice. You are not alone. It is extremely difficult carrying on after loss. Tap into your support networks and reach out to those who will offer sincere help. Seek support from your community networks such as your church, your local club, the government department or social service.

Maintain your journal and note down each milestone that you achieve after the loss event. Recall when you were challenged and read how you found the courage to fight against that challenge. Even when the loss event is many years ago, maintain your journal and write down every challenge and every achievement. Keep your journal near and review it often.

When you feel comfortable, speak about your loss journey and hear yourself talk. Hear yourself project how you were challenged, how you felt and how you found ways to manage. Look at the person/s you are sharing your loss journey with and see if anyone relates to your story (as they may have experienced something similar). It is important to chose who you share your loss journey with. If some people do not relate to your loss journey, accept their responses as their own and don’t continue sharing your story. Not everyone has experienced loss and they just may not be able to understand or appreciate your journey. Everyone is different and everyone is entitled to their views – this includes you. Avoid dismissing your true feelings because someone else’s opinion is stated against your experience. You are important and your loss journey is yours to express. Be gentle on yourself and be gentle on others – if they just don’t get it or make light of your loss, then don’t continue with your story with those people.

You cannot save everyone. This was a statement said by a loss survivor who felt she could not protect her child from a loss event and ever since that loss event, this loss survivor sought out anyone in need to help. Overtime, she realised that she could not save everyone and had to ensure the safety and sustainability of her family as a priority and then help anyone else in distress by referring them to public support services and not taking on the problem herself. She still felt she was helping those in need but at arms length to make sure she was managing her own wellbeing.

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