Tag: recount

Ready to get on with their lives, American voters sarcastically thanked Florida’s election officials for dragging the country through a recount for the senate and governor races. A weary nation sarcastically acknowledged Florida’s Democratic officials for their incompetence in the midterm election. “Yeah that was fun, Florida. Thanks. Can we stop playing around and get back to reality now?” GOP voters across the nation did not appreciate the ridiculous waste of time the recount was, all in a failed attempt by election officials in a few counties to steal the…

BROWARD COUNTY – With a wink and a nod, Broward County elections supervisor Brenda Snipes says the Florida recount for the DeSantis/Gillum race is under control. But is she telling the truth? A facial tic that Snipes has had for years makes it hard to tell. She explains that constant winking at Democrats and looking the other way as voter fraud is committed under her (watchful?) eye are to blame for her facial tic. “It is what it is. I can’t help it,” Snipes says, as she slips another bundle…

NEW YORK CITY – Green Party presidential candidate and professional recount activist, Dr. Jill Stein, has announced that she will be challenging the results of The Heisman Trophy race. The award, given to the nation’s top college football player, is on December 10 this year, but Stein has already announced plans to demand a recount – regardless of who the winner is. Stein, a self-styled recount justice warrior (RJW), when asked why she’s requesting the Heisman recount, answers, “What else do I have going on?” Already acting indignant about the…

INDIANA – As Democrats spin their wheels with dreams of recounts in three states that Hillary Clinton lost, Donald Trump’s supporters are enjoying the holidays with another type of recount. Millions of Americans are recounting how happy and thankful they were when they realized we had dodged the bullet that was a Hillary presidency. In homes across the country this past Thanksgiving, families were grateful that Mr. Trump pulled out a victory on election night. The results at least give America the chance to right itself, after 8 years of…