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'Dancing With the Stars' results recap: The booty shake off

May 3, 2011 | 10:53
pm

Had she left “Dancing With the Stars” a couple weeks ago, we would have dismissed her as just another former Girl Next Door. But those extra two weeks and a slammin’ samba really gave Kendra Wilkinson the ability to redeem her less ladylike ways with a new-found elegance that was nonexistent a month and a half ago, no? Kendra had gas and was finally having a gas on “DWTS,” so of course, it was at this point when her dance card was revoked, and she and partner Louis Van Amstel were eliminated from the competition. At least she was able to break through her barriers, muster up some elegance and find some confidence in herself to end on a high note. Partner Louis Van Amicable should be proud. “I’ve lasted 7 weeks longer than I thought I would ever last,” Kendra said. Now she can return to her husband and adorable little boy. “I’m not the best dancer, but I’m the best mom,” she said. Aws all around!

The rest of the results hour fulfilled the time-honored tradition of wasting time and trying to hold the audience’s attention with sparkly things, upbeat tunes, eye-popping dance steps and umpteen commercial breaks before revealing what we really wanted in the show’s final minutes.

The encore performance came courtesy of leather-clad Team Chelsea, who cleaned up their forms and their sync with their second-time’s-the-charm-cha cha to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.”

Nicki Minaj performed “Moment 4 Life” in a blond wig that had green streaks in it, as if it had gone swimming in a chlorinated pool. The rapper was also dressed in a bronze corset with sparkles and wispy strands of wayward fringe that was a fitting, progressive take on the standard “Dancing With the Stars” milieu. Also appreciated how her microphone was outfitted in pink sparkle, as any mic on the “DWTS” stage should be. Nicki was accompanied by Lacey Schwimmer, Chelsie Hightower and “DWTS” Troupe members Kiki Nyemchek and Sonny Pederson, who performed a cooler-than-thou ballroom/hip-hop fusion dance front and center.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was a tribute to James Brown, with Wayne Brady taking the Godfather of Soul’s place in a high-energy routine choreographed by Kevin and Marcel Wilson. Didn’t have quite the soul of the Godfather, but I appreciated both his chutzpah and the dynamism of those impressive hoofers. And how he ended in a cape!

Loved their segment on 17-year-old Patricia Zhou, who not only achieved the tough feat of going from ballet beginner to getting accepted to the Royal Ballet in just four years, but was able to convince her traditional parents to forego their dreams of her being a doctor so that she could do what she loved. And it was a good thing her parents came around: Patricia’s solo performance, to the tune of Priscilla Ahn’s sweetly acoustic “Dreams,” was lovely, elegant and effortlessly bendy, and gave me the urge to watch “Center Stage” all over again.

The pointless segment of the night came courtesy of the stars and the pros, who sat opposite each other on a black table and talked about what they needed to up their game and win the competition. Kirstie wanted some more validation from Maks. “Deal?” “Probably not.” Hines Ward doesn’t really love Kym Johnson very much on Wednesdays. Or Thursdays. Most important takeaway from the pretaped film: “We had to kick out a poker tournament and three psychics to get that space,” Tom said.

James Blunt obviously didn’t get the memo that he was performing on Hollywood’s most sparkly show, because he came dressed on stage in a decidedly un-“DWTS” outfit of a hawk T-shirt, jeans and boots (nary a sequin in sight!). But his performance of “I’ll Be Your Man” was fun and upbeat and allowed for Val Chmerkovskiy and Darla Chesnokova to show off their dancing chops. And while he didn’t sport the tight pants that his brother Maks usually does, Val’s Chmerkovskiy lineage was still evident from his hip-swiveling swagger and the fact that he kept just one button on his dress shirt buttoned.

What’d you think, ballroom fans? Did the right star go home this week? Is Mark Ballas’ intensity (as Chelsea said, his cup is “never half-full”) getting to be a bit too much for the show? Is it time for raw meat for the audience? Are you never too imperiled to plug, like Romeo did? Who’s your pick to take home the Mirrorball trophy?