He knows he’s at the U.S. Open because it’s a major, it’s on NBC and he’s NBC’s top guy.

And he knows that there’s no one in the audience who tuned in to listen to him. Thus, recognizing that his presence is largely symbolic, Costas kept his appearances short and sweet.

Saturday, NBC threw it to Costas just before the leaders teed off. Costas told us who they were, what was at stake and then it was back to golf. No speeches, poetry or floral designs. He knew that not a single soul had tuned in to the U.S. Open because he was there.

Compare Costas to ESPN’s signature guy, Chris Berman, who as tower host of the first two rounds of the Open, couldn’t help but show up as Vaudeville Chris, performing his TV clown act as if Open viewers would otherwise have been disappointed.

From the start of coverage Thursday, when ESPN showed tape of Ken Duke pitching in for bird at the first hole, three hours earlier, Berman served notice that it’s show time – The Chris Berman Show: “On hole No. 1, Ken Duke was no hazard.” Clever, huh? Berman had three hours to come up with that one.

Steve Martin knew that the laughs would fade if he hollered, “Ex-cuuuuuse me!” one more time, but Berman still seeks to win the day performing an act he should’ve grown from, then out of, then retired years ago.

Berman’s forced silliness – of Oakmont’s church pew bunkers, he said the course has “more pews than the Vatican!” – once provided him early career distinction, but his continued reliance on buffoonery has established him as the uncle you thought was funny when you were 10, but now no longer ask to be seated next to at Thanksgiving dinner.

Costas, on the other hand, always knows his audience. U.S. Open viewers want to watch the U.S. Open, and most want to hear Johnny Miller tell them about it. So Costas would quickly get in and then out. It’s not as if Costas doesn’t have an ego; it’s just that his brain – his sense of place, audience and proportion – is his strongest suit.

More pews than the Vatican. Good one.

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Will Gladys Gooding or Eddie Layton please report to their Hammond organ?

For the past 18 years, Don DiGiulian, a dentist from Connecticut now semi-retired to North Carolina, and his two sons, Anthony and Damian, have rendezvoused at the College World Series in Omaha. It’s a great event to watch some good ballgames while spending time together around Fathers Day.

This year, however, the music from the p.a. system between half-innings was so loud that they couldn’t carry on a conversation without shouting. In fact, when DiGiulian called from the stadium to allow me to share this experience, the background noise disallowed him from knowing whether I’d answered.

And so it goes. Because no bad idea is unworthy of duplication, the at-game noise pollution epidemic grows.

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Bud Selig and MLB can strike their too-late disapproval-of-Barry Bonds pose all they want; they’re still selling Bonds for all he’s worth. MLB provided three games for Fox’s national exclusive window, Saturday, and one of them – Giants-Red Sox, starring Bonds – became the featured attraction.

Ah, stats. In a 7-6 win over the Reds Friday, all six of the pitchers who threw for the Rangers got positive statistical credit for something – a win, a save and four holds. Joaquin Benoit got a hold for retiring one of the three batters he faced. He also allowed a hit and a walk.

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If only NBC golf anchor Dan Hicks – and everyone else, for that matter – spoke regular American English instead of American sportscasterish, he would not have been moved to tell us, yesterday, that Anthony Kim is a “young 21-year-old.”

And, if Hicks is going to spend four days telling us that the greens are crazy-fast, with insane breaks, he should’ve shelved the habit of characterizing four-footers as “tap-ins.”

NBC’s Open pictures were superb throughout, but I suspect that at least a few that were presented as live Thursday and Friday, were on tape, especially when a player we hadn’t seen all day suddenly appeared – just before sinking a long putt or leaving one stiff.