Courage is when the crowds at the mall terrify Mom, but she wants to stay, anyway.

Courage is accepting life in a dementia unit, even with other residents shouting, kicking, crying or barking (yes, two of the women bark).

Courage is going back to work at the SNF every day, despite the emotional and physical abuse the residents rain down on you, the aide or the nurse.

Courage is leaving your LO at the SNF, knowing that as much as you want to, you can no longer give your LO the 24/7 care she needs.

Courage is Craig and Tonya writing openly and honestly about their experience, helping us see LBD from the inside out.

Courage is Coy and Derek (and so many others), living their lives as fully as possible for as long as is possible.

What is courage?

Kate

_________________Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]

Oh Kate, that is so beautiful, and every single word is so, so true. What an amazing outlook and way of looking at the challenges we all face every day. THANK YOU Ger xxx

_________________cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.

Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:06 pm

mockturtle

Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pmPosts: 3213Location: WA

Re: What is courage?

Thank you, Kate. Made my day.

_________________Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.

Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:41 pm

katelu

Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pmPosts: 464Location: Minnesota

Re: What is courage?

Thanks. Please add to the list. I think we need to take stock.

Kate

_________________Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]

Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:49 pm

mockturtle

Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pmPosts: 3213Location: WA

Re: What is courage?

Courage is having the strength of your convictions when you are exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally, even in the face of experts.

_________________Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.

Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:55 pm

Ger

Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pmPosts: 355

Re: What is courage?

Courage is making a decision for your loved one that you know is what is BEST for them, not necessarily what they or we WANT to do, even when it breaks our hearts just a little more every day.

_________________cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.

Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:01 pm

LTCVT

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pmPosts: 3441Location: Vermont

Re: What is courage?

Courage is telling your LO, when the time has come, that it's ok, they can let go and move on.

_________________Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.

Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:36 pm

pjaj

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 10:15 pmPosts: 15Location: Kansas

Re: What is courage?

Courage is cleaning up a LO's accidents day after day and still kissing his forehead each time, saying "It'll be okay", even when you're not sure if you can do it tomorrow.

The level of love in this thread is humbling. When I kiss my husband goodnight tomorrow, flooded with relief that another day of dealing with his failing cognition is over, I will remember what you've all written. Is courage forgiving yourself for resenting the demands caregiving places on you? Can love drive out despair and pity?

Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:10 am

katelu

Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pmPosts: 464Location: Minnesota

Re: What is courage?

Sometimes it can. When it can't, it sure helps to have someone to tell you that you are a good person and where would your LO be without you.

And Courage is kissing your loved one goodnight after a day of dealing with his failing cognition. Remember that you kissed him instead of yelling at him.

Kate

_________________Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]

Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:22 pm

FiatLux

Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:40 pmPosts: 95Location: California

Re: What is courage?

Courage is fear that has said many prayers. ~ author unknown

_________________My husband's first diagnosis in 2006 at age 64: Early Cortical Lewy Body Disease. He passed in Oct. 2013 at age 71. Autopsy indicated evidence for late-stage Alzheimer's only. NO Lewy Bodies were found in the hemisphere of his brain that was studied..?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:40 pm

katelu

Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pmPosts: 464Location: Minnesota

Re: What is courage?

Courage is Mom losing the motor function in her right hand (we think TIA) but insisting on trying to hold her fork or her drink and feed herself. I'm so proud of her.

Kate

_________________Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]

Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:51 am

rae582

Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:53 pmPosts: 41

Re: What is courage?

I know I'm late to respond here but I just saw this and it made me tear up and smile.

Courage is my mom laughing and smiling at us even when I'm not sure what the joke is (or even when she's not sure!).

Courage is going to see mom in the special care unit as often as I can even if every time I'm anxious about how she'll be and how much she'll interact and if she'll know me anymore. I'm still always relieved to see her even if it makes me cry after I leave.

Courage is moving forward every day because I know she'd be upset if I didn't keep going with my life. I hope to make her proud with everything I do even if she can't understand anymore.

_________________Jamie - my 56 year old mom was diagnosed with LBD in January2010, moved to a special care unit in December2011.

Sat Mar 24, 2012 10:27 am

katelu

Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pmPosts: 464Location: Minnesota

Re: What is courage?

Jamie,

It's likely she understands a lot more than she can express. Your mom is about my age. Which makes my niece about your age. I am inordinately proud of the way she has handled her grandmother's dementia, and her grandma was in her late 80s, when something like this could be expected.

I am certain your mom is at least as proud of you as I am of my niece. And the fact that you are handling this at least 20 years earlier than the majority of us (though there are many your age, too), speaks even better of you. Be assured, on some level your mom knows. And she is very proud of you.

Kate

_________________Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]

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