Thursday, January 28, 2016

The second
important thing Ellen with learn from her tragic experience, is a strong sensitivity
to emotional pain in other people.Unfortunately,
you can’t understand and know this, without going through the intense pain
yourself.It is a pain so ravaging that
you would not wish it upon your worst enemy.It hurts so bad and so deep, that it is at times unbearable.

On the other
side, you show more empathy to people in pain.You also are much more hesitant to be the cause of pain in someone
else.Because of the tribulation you
have encountered, you become less selfish, you become more caring, you are
transformed into a much better person than you were before.

You also are
better able to comfort others in distress.You have experienced the worst and survived.You have been to Hell, and returned.Your sensitivity enables you to know what do,
know what to say and know “how to be there” when someone needs you to be there.

Some people
would say that is the reason why you went through the tragedy, but I would
still say there is no reason for something this horrible to be bestowed upon
anyone.There cannot be a purpose behind
this.It is more the result of what
happened. A result we do have control over after the utter helplessness of the awful
event.You see, we must all travel on
The Road even after tragedy strikes without warning, but it is how we walk that
makes the difference.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Ellen has suffered the unexpected loss of her baby.She has experienced enormous pain that has
shaken her to the core.Her soul has
been ripped open.While she can’t do
anything about was has already happened, there are some concepts that she needs
to understand which are important to in the recovery and restoration process.

The most important learning, is that you have a new
perspective on everything.You have lost
something that is invaluable and not replaceable.This enables you to understand what is truly
important on The Road.What things warrant
your attention, your affection, concern, interest, focus and treasure.This is an incredibly valuable trait to attain.

You will now view everything in life through the lens this
event. It becomes natural, you won’t even realize you are doing it. It impacts how you view life and therefore how
you live life.You will be able to keep
calm when others panic because you know what a “life and death” situation is
and what it is not, because you have literally experienced it.

Jesus said “Blessed are those who mourn because shall be
comforted”.We tend to think comfort is
something that happens for a limited time, in the short term.But maybe this new perspective on life means
the mourner is comforted the rest of his life.Could the pain be temporary and the comfort long-lasting?

If you keeping looking back on the event, you grow
bitter.Your pain is extended and your
strength is sapped.If you are able
focus on moving forward and use whatever beneficial things you are able to
extract from your tragedy, The Road becomes smooths out over time.

Fortunately, I can tell that Ellen does indeed have this
new perspective and she has acquired it much sooner than most.She is back on The Road and that is a great
thing.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

My friend Ellen’s first pregnancy recently ended with a
tragic stillbirth. She is one of the
nicest, sweetest, women I know, so we try to find a reason why something like
this happens.

The truth is, there is no reason for this (so please stop telling
people, “everything happens for a reason”).
Ellen now knows there is no reason for this. When going through your private hell after a
horrendous event, you do ask “Why me? But then you realize that there is
nothing so bad you could have done to deserve something so terrible. You then also realize that in this random,
cursed, world, there is nothing so good you could have done that would exclude
you from this happening either.

Yes, sometimes God intercedes to prevent the consequences of
the curse. This happens so infrequently;
we call them miracles. And why and when
those occur, there must be a reason, but it is way beyond our capability to
understand.

The Road at times can be excruciatingly painful and
confusing. Sometimes there is no reason for the pitfalls. We cannot understand everything where we are
right now, we can only walk on.

Friday, January 1, 2016

My friend Caroline (pseudonym)
said that she was so sad on December 31 that she wanted to cry and I knew why. I
sent her this private message:

Okay, I have cried on
the last day of the year a few times myself and I know why you want to. You are
lamenting your lack of progress and achievement in 2015. But you are sad
because you are looking into the past, back into 2015. Turn yourself the hell
around right now girl and start looking into 2016. That is where your future
is. 2015 is gone forever and you can't change that. But 2016 is where your
future is and where your hope must live, so that is where you need to be
focused. This is where the victory can be. Forward woman, it is the only
direction that is worth facing.

Caroline is an
intelligent, beautiful, woman. Bad
choices and unfortunate circumstances have made her lose her
self-confidence. The Road will not
always be this rough her, she will win is she gives herself the
opportunity. But you can’t travel
forward on The Road very well, if you are looking backwards. You can’t go back, so why look back. The Road is ahead of you, not behind.

This is a new year,
look forward my friends, look forward.
Let’s walk together down The Road in 2016. I think I can provide some assistance.

Welcome to The Road. I
am writing this new blog as an outlet for the more serious subjects that I need to express. People have responded well
when I have done serious posts in my humor blog (they didn’t belong there but
that was the only venue available) and when I have posted these type of things
on Facebook, so now there is a place for them.

We have the precious opportunity to begin this journey and
someday, often unexpectedly, the journey ends. In between these events, we
travel on The Road. This blog exists to
provide the help we all need at times in this journey.

You may describe these observations as wisdom, I look at
them as lessons learned. I am able to
describe the right way, because I have done it the wrong way. And because I am still on The Road, I am
still learning how to walk it and I will share those insights here.

This blog will provide spiritual insights and guidance
without being religious. It is written
from a Christian perspective, but will not seek to convert anyone. There is no hidden agenda, the only purpose
is to help my fellow travelers on The Road.

I’ve needed to express these thoughts for a long time. In 2009, I lost my job that I had held for 16
years. The Road had an unexpected turn
and it’s been quite a journey. After I
delivered a eulogy for a family member in 2012, my friend Stephanie hugged me
and whispered in my ear “You need to write this stuff down”. Sometimes God speaks to you in spirit and
sometimes he has a lovely women whisper in your ear. It has taken my four years to accommodate Stephanie,
but The Road is long, isn’t it?