Taking a Gamble on Finding Happiness…

Cat Herding is My Calling

As it turns out, my lifelong struggle of living in poverty and never being satisfied in a job have paid off. I started this new job almost a month ago. It will be a month on Friday and although it does stress me out at times, there is literally never a dull moment and, thus far, I’ve taken what I learned from at least ten other jobs and put it to use here. I have also used my poor woman’s way of thinking to get stuff done cheaply, because who wants to pay more when they don’t have to? I think maybe I have found my calling. Well, my second calling. I still think writing is my first. Unfortunately, my first calling will end up keeping me in the poor house unless I can manage my time well enough to start writing again. When I say writing, I don’t mean this silly little blog, I mean working on books. As it stands, though, I may never have time again for anything. The drive to work seems like it takes up half of my day, even though it doesn’t but I leave for work at 7 am and I leave to come home around 5pm. It’s only a 45 minute drive or less depending on traffic, but some days it seems like it is four hours long. Then there are some days, like today, where I get to go do some task after work and it cuts in to my whole evening, but the crazy thing is, I don’t mind. I mean, yes, I am super tired. I mean really, really tired. So tired that I didn’t even go through self check out at the grocery store. I just let the unsmiling, non “have a nice day” saying lady check me out so I didn’t have to exert any effort besides sliding a card to pay. I even made Mel come out and carry the groceries in. It was literally two paper bags and they weren’t even full, but I couldn’t muster any energy. It’s cool though, because it’s a good kind of tired. I’m physically tired from being in the heat most of the day today. Not that I did any physical work really, but the heat in itself is exhausting. And I’m mentally drained from having to figure out issue after issue and hope that my solutions aren’t complete and utter dogshit stuck to my shoe. So far, I don’t think they are. I don’t really mind being exhausted. It’s kind of a positive thing. Not only have I not really had time to think about dating, or men in general, or sex, I just don’t have the energy to even entertain those thoughts. I was supposed to have 3 dates this week. One I’ve already cancelled and the other two probably aren’t far behind. All that complaining I did about wanting to go out and now I’m legitimately too tired to want to do anything besides curl up in my comfy pajamas in my comfy bed and relax. I am finally understanding why workaholics just can’t get their shit together. But for now, I’m cool not having my shit together personally because I’m really enjoying what I am doing professionally even if it seems at times like I am trying to herd cats.