I was feeling down one day,
Can't remember when,
Someone said I should write a song and tell them how I felt about it then,
I felt like a tool,
Like a really big tool
Cause when I close my eyes and sing I don't look very cool

The guitar I used that day, to vent my growing frustrations
Transformed at lightening speed into a weapon of mass-turbation
I know can sound good when, sung by Bradley
But look where he is now my friends have you seen him lately

I feel trapped like a fat man, in a phone booth
If I never sing what I feel, I'll never have to face the truth
And the truth sucks
and the truth hurts
and if I keep writing songs like thins, it's just gonna get worse

It's becoming clearer now that feelings are for dicks,
If you don't show feelings though you'll never pull the girls
Should I write a funny song and make sure the band gets paid
OR should I sing: love love love love love love love love until I get laid

I wish that I was Buckley, or that guy Kurt Cobain
They expressed feelings, whereas I just complain
I guess I'm glad that you think I'm funny, it's how I get my kicks
Cause after all, everyone knows that feelings are for dicks.