Conrad Hiltonstrut out of the clink just two weeks ago, and now his daddy’s got to clean up another mess he may have produced. And this latest mess involves drunk driving, barf and a broken bong. (Pour out some used bong water for that broken bong.) The current reigning pride of the Hilton family has been sued by a woman who claims that last May, 22-year-old Conrad crashed his daddy’s white Range Rover head-first into her car and was dazed, confused and covered with barf. Hmm… I guess Parasite Hilton’s one-time frenemy Lindsay Lohan taught a young Conrad Hilton how to drive.

Conrad was recently in the chokey for 2 months for violating the probation he was put on for that drunken douche meltdown he busted out on a plane full of peasants in 2015. Conrad pleaded guilty to acting a mess on that plane, and in exchange for that he had to pay a $5,000 fine, undergo a substance abuse program and was put on probation. Conrad violated that probation by getting a giant F minus on several drug tests. Before he went to jail in June, Conrad struck a deal in a different case.

Back in 2014, King Joffrey’s West Coast protege was going 100mph in his BMW on a freeway near Palm Springs, CA and the police tried to pull him over. Conrad tried to outrun them and ended up crashing into a dirt center median. He was charged with evading the cops. On May 18, 2016, Conrad spit out a guilty plea and the judge gave him three years probation and he had to complete 89 days in the sheriff’s work release program. The judge also left it up to his probation officer on whether or not he should go to rehab.

TMZ says that Kelly Auld, the lady who’s suing Conrad, states in her lawsuit that just hours after he got that legal slap on wrist, he celebrated by crashing into her. Kelly says in court documents that on May 19, she saw Conrad driving crazy in a Range Rover. She claims that Conrad was looking dazed and had both of his hands above his head before he clipped one car and hit her head-on after drifting into her lane. Witnesses say Conrad threw a bong out of the SUV window and was covered in stomach gravy when he got out of the Range Rover.

The Range Roger was registered to Hilton & Hyland, Conrad’s daddy’s company. Kelly also says in her lawsuit that after doing research, she learned that a court ordered Conrad not to drive.

Two things are not known: It’s not known how much money Kelly Auld wants and it’s also not known why the cops weren’t called. I mean, that’s the first thing I would do. I’d dial 911 fast and scream, “Send all your cops! I just watched a vicious asshole break a bong. BONG DOWN CODE 10!”

Conrad’s older sister DJ Wonky McValtrex probably reads these stories and gets a little nostalgic over the days when she was the Hilton who got headlines for acting like an entitled, spoiled train wreck of a mess. Maybe like Wonky, Conrad can sort of clean himself up and one day get paid thousands upon thousands of dollars to entertain kids by pressing play on an iTunes playlist put together by a real DJ. I know, I don’t know why I’m wishing another Hilton upon the raver babies of Ibiza. They don’t deserve that.

And here’s some old pictures I missed of DJ Wonky and flawless purveyor of class and tastefulness Bobby Trendy at some event in June.

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