I do not regret my actions, though I do have some remorse for the poor critter whose life I shortened though probably not considerably since insects tend to have very short life-spans comparatively speaking. It did pass my mind that I was doing a service of some kind.

I have a healthy sense that I was an instrument in passing. I don’t have guilt. I don’t feel used, but I don’t feel unaffected either.

I thought about killing it. I considered the consequences. It never crossed my mind to capture the thing in a glass jar with a plate underneath like I usually do for scorpions and tarantulas. It was not dangerous or large or too fast for me to catch. It was just there.

It was just there at that precise moment when I was able to reach my shoe (which is usually behind me, out of reach) with one hand while maintaining my balance, kill the thing and continue with my practice.

Afterward, I did think one thought: I killed a bug while doing yoga today.

When you have bars on the windows of your house you tend to get used to them, but it scares other people away.

And that’s the idea right? To protect yourself and what’s inside from what is outside.

If you’ve been living with them for any length of time, you probably don’t even see them anymore. Most of the time you just look right through them, especially when you are looking out on a beautiful landscape. And if you want to take a picture you only have to maneuver slightly so that the rest of the world doesn’t know you’re looking out from behind them.

But people who have never been to your house before will notice. In fact, it may be the first thing they see. They might wonder why and sometimes even ask but usually it just causes a general feeling of fear that they will not address and you won’t realize you should.

I have bars on the windows of the house where I live, but I didn’t put them there. I tell people it’s okay. It’s just so the monkeys can’t get in during the night because we sleep with the windows open. I tell them they won’t even notice after a few days. But I know it’s not for the monkeys, and so do they.

I tell myself it’s okay because they’re the kind that are slender and ornate and match the trim around the windows. And in reality, if someone really wanted to get in they could. They would just have to try a bit harder. And bring some tools.

They’re not the kind that block huge swaths of reality from view. And if they were to be removed, I don’t think it would leave much permanent damage. Just a little fading like when a picture has been hanging in the same spot on the wall for a while.

There are people who need these bars; who like them and think that every house should have them. That you’re asking for big trouble if you don’t have them.

There are people who have been hurt so many times they can’t imagine living in a house without bars on the windows.

But I’m not one of those people. This is not my house. I just live in it. Still, I’m strangely comforted by the bars. I wouldn’t have them removed. I understand about the monkeys and the other things that can come in the night while we sleep. I’ve seen some things would scare some people into living willingly behind bars. But I’m not one of them. Like I said, I just live here. If it was my house I wouldn’t have put them up to begin with, but since they’re here you know, might as well make the best of it.

When life seems to be a lot like the weather in a tropical rainforest – an abundance of sunlight, followed by a torrential rain – we can be grateful that just happens to be the ideal environment for growth.