Monday, March 3, 2008

I never could have imagined more. I never could have written a purer story. I thought I’d looked everywhere but she was right there in front of me the whole time. Maybe the whole time I was pursuing after the wrong things, pursuing after the wrong lady, maybe if I’d have opened my eyes I would have seen her sooner! The love of my life, the one who fulfills me, the one who completes me; the one who cried out to me first!

She’s pretty amazing I’ll admit. She is a strong preacher, very learned in the ways of the Lord. Her name, “Hokmah”, is stunningly beautiful: It captures her unique charm, her sweet presence. She also carries the honorary title of Lady. How I was so lucky to find her is beyond me; for she is way out of my class! The first thing that drew me to her is that she doesn’t make you obsessed with her. She doesn’t try to grasp for your attention. She actually begs you to give your attention to someone else. She actually says the pivot point; the central focus for our relationship is the fear of the Lord. Many I’ve pursued before have written this off as hopeless religiosity but she has a way of showing me that you can’t have a better life then when the fear of the Lord is the pivot for everything else! Especially our love.

She’s exactly the kind of girl that my father always taught me to pursue. She’s a spitting image of what dad always said in fact. Her teachings (Torah) always seem to echo those my mother used to read to me every night. I have no fear of bring her home to meet the parents; I actually look forward to it. She’s like a badge of honor that I can wear; she’s proof of the grace of God. She must be.

I saw her reaching out to me one day and even though she so willingly opened up to me, I still pursued her like I would any riches of the world. Like if silver was dropped in front of me. Like a man with a treasure map, willing to do anything to get it, so did I pursue her. Like a crazy pirate willing to go through anything to grasp her; willing to do anything to get her to notice me. Yet, even in the crazed pursuit, never doing anything that would reflect negatively on her “ladyship”. You could call it a rather disciplined madness; compared to the insane madness of previous pursuits.

When my hunt was over, I stood in her presence a satisfied man. I realized that she is much more satisfying then any hunt for treasure, then any hunt for power, then any hunt for merchandise or things. She is more precious then rubies, then gold, then silver and nothing that I can desire can compare with knowing her. She speaks to me of profound things and walking with her has been the most pleasant experience of my life. Being with her must be like what Adam felt; a continuing partaking of the Tree of Life. I may be tired from the hunt but resting against her is the most refreshing of times. She is a strong support for my weakness.

As I get to know her, I remember my father saying to not forsake her; to not forget her because she will preserve me. “Love her”, Dad used to say, “and she will keep you.” In the past relationships seemed to be all about me but yet I can see now that by exalting her, she actually exalts me. When I embrace her, she brings me honor. I can’t let her go; I have to keep her; for she is my very life.

I may not have to state it; in fact I hope you can see that I am not talking about a specific lady. I just actually popped open my Bible to the Proverbs and was struck a few weeks ago with the pursuit of wisdom as if she were an actual lady. Not a damsel in distress because she can handle her own but a lady who desires to be with us, a lady who’s above us but still dwells with us. Solomon personified wisdom in a way that he obviously knew best. Women.

Something that I have not understood in my study of Proverbs over the past 3 weeks is why all of these books on relationships do not actually dive into the use of relationship in the book of Proverbs? It made me wonder if some of these books are actually teaching us better ways to pursue the whore that Solomon also mentions in later chapters then a woman who emulates the principles of Proverbs. (Something I will visit later) It seems to me that my attention, my pursuit, my relationships should all focus on the pursuit of lady wisdom; the pursuit of personal integrity. All centered and launched from the fear of the Lord. If I try to pursue a woman outside of my pursuit for wisdom then I am doing exactly what Solomon warned against. I am doing the very thing that has destroyed many a men and in fact destroyed the man who wrote the warning.

My closing thought is this. I used to get so annoyed with that quote I now see all over the place which states: “A woman must be so lost in God that a man should be pursuing Him to find her.” I don’t know why it urked me, maybe cause I thought it was a cop out, but the more I read Proverbs the more I see that my pursuit of wisdom is exactly what this quote is saying. This is not a cop out for guys to be lazy about the pursuit of a woman, in fact it begs us to do the opposite, but until we have that craze to purse wisdom first then we can never know how to pursue a woman properly. Wisdom teaches us the art of pursuit and that naturally bleeds over into other pursuits, other treasures, which wisdom gives to us. A noble wife, who can find? Maybe the reason for such confusion is that we need to learn the art of pursuit from the right lady?

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:13-14