Sorry, Not Sorry.

All day long, I walk around telling everyone ‘Sorry’, or ‘Excuse me’, or ‘Pardon me’. Constantly. I’m apologizing for bumping into people, for being too cheerful, for not walking fast enough when someone holds the door open for me, for dropping the F-bomb on my own blog; it feels like I’m always apologizing. Why?

Just today, I was on Facebook *shudder* and saw a post by an acquaintance about some car troubles they’d had. I commented regret that they were not having an enjoyable experience, then spun a lovely story, portraying the couple laughing about this and many other trials they will experience during their time together… and at the end, caught myself about to apologize.

For what?

For refusing to lower my own vibration in order to commiserate with them? For taking time from my day to craft a beautiful linguistic picture of joy and happiness especiallyfor her? For daring to speak my truth from a place of love and gratitude, instead of from a place of frustration and lack? For daring to show others that they don’t have to look at life as the enemy?

Fuck that.

I have quoted my comment here, in all its unapologetic glory (well, except that one apology there at the beginning… and the one at the end… I forgot about them… but, case in point):

I’m sorry that your experience was unpleasant in the moment… but one day, when you are old, and you guys have been together so long that you start looking like one another… you will look back on the early days of your time together, back to this day that you just couldn’t seem to catch a break, but you worked together, and you survived, and you guys were SO aggravated… and it was just AWFUL… but you had each other, and no matter how bad it seemed, you knew you’d get through, because you were still together… and you will laugh. And you will smile knowingly at one another, remembering all the storms of life you’ve weathered together since then, some more difficult, more painful than this day, and some less so, but through them all, you each knew you would make it through… together. You will look back and recall it fondly because you will see only the love. Time will fade the sharp edges of the experience, and it will blur the frustration, blinding you to all but the love and admiration you hold for one another.

Or you could skip the wait, and just laugh about it now.

Just sayin’. 🙂

All the love, friend. Truly. Sorry your day was so unpleasant!

I’m not sorry for my point of view. I’m not sorry that I vibrate on an energetic level that annoys the piss out of people. I’m not sorry that I refuse to get drunk with others on wine wrought from sour grapes.
Okay. Whoa, Nellie. Getting a little belligerent, there. It’s true, though. I’m tired of apologizing for being exactly who and how I want to be– for not being who, what, and how anyone else desires me to be. (And for the record, this is not a rant, because this person became offended at my words… quite the opposite, in fact. This person has not replied at all, because I just wrote it. If I am ranting, it is only with exuberance for my new point of view. I am not angry or upset, though my words may s– OH, HEY, LOOK… ANOTHER APOLOGY… RIGHT EFFIN THERE! TRYING TO SNEAK ITS WAY IN… not gonna happen. Not today).

Those that think they know me have NO idea of what’s coming. Hell, I have no idea what’s coming. Every day I wake up excited. Thrilled. Curious. Wondering what little Easter Eggs (in the gamer sense) the Universe has planned for me today.

This is exciting stuff, people. Life changing stuff. It is my dearest hope that my words extend out into the Universe, touching the hearts that are ready for them, and preparing the way for the messenger of the hearts that aren’t.

My every post on this blog is a call to my tribe. Every person I bump into, every face I see, I feel my soul asking, over and over, are you in my tribe? Do you speak my language? And now, I’m beginning to listen for a reply.

My eyes and ears are being opened. The way is clear. The truth is undeniable. The light washes my soul; bathing it in pure love and acceptance.

For me, the guilt came later, lol, once intimidation stopped being quite so… effective.

When you’re ready, if you want it, you have the choice to stop apologizing for who and what you are, and just… be. Unapologetic. But you will know, so don’t feel as though I’m saying you should be anything other than you are at this moment.

Sometimes it sounds as if pissing folks off by being too sorry is the only control it feels as though you may have over your life right now. But that’s outside my purview, and none of my business, really, lol.

But you know what I mean. It may be that way now, but it doesn’t have to be that way always. 🙂

“I’m not sorry that I vibrate on an energetic level that annoys the piss out of people”

I know how it feels like. But here’s the thing. When we change frequency, not many people find themselves on the same vibrationnal wave. Remember yesterday we spoke about the gap, the limbo state between the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one? We often go alone in limbo. We have to keep in mind we all vibrate at a different frequency level. Although it may have come from a very good intentional place to lift your acquaintance up, from their perspective it may have come off as “unemphatic” to their situation.

Why? Because we don’t see situations the same point of view. And also, understand that most people that are not self-actualizing or vibrating at this positive frequency is not necessarily “wired” to see life that way. If we remember, we were not always there neither. Unfortunately we can’t force people to vibrate at the same frequency as we are. It’s an internal work they have to do for themselves. When doing frequency work It’s good to be able to put ourselves in other shoes and understand where they are coming from, where they are now and where they are ready to go. With that in mind, it makes communication and interaction smoother. Does it make sense?

LOL… the apology I cut off mid-sentence was the one that would have clarified (I was doing my own version of ‘I don’t want to explain myself’ [as we also touched on yesterday, lol]).

I allowed myself to drift slightly out of ‘peace & love’ and into ‘defiance’. I felt it when it happened, but it felt better to be defiant, because there are still areas where defiance feels better than compliance.

Things get trickier once you start realizing that you can have several ‘levels’ of vibration going on about different areas at the same time, you realize why it’s so easy to slip into a ‘lower vibration’ without realizing it, or in my case, realizing it, and accepting it. I knew it would pass, plus, what better way to practice alignment, than to deliberately entice yourself slightly out of it, then bring yourself back? Seems like it’s better than practicing on real people!

You know what they say… step 5 is just not getting upset when you find yourself back in a step 1 moment… and that’s precisely what that looks like for me, right now. Defiance. 🙂

Well, I don’t actually follow Abraham’s scale. I’d somehow intuitively figured that part out before I ‘re-discovered’ Abraham with your encouragement (or re-evaluated, as the case may be). I don’t know the exact order of the emotions, but I know when one thought/feeling/emotion feels better than another, which is all the scale is, really.
The thing is, I’ve been doing this kind of work on an intellectual level for nearly two decades, but it wasn’t until recently that it became… I don’t even know the right word to use to describe it… attainable? Executable? It’s like, I’ve had this… programming… sitting, dormant for the most part in my brain, a file I’ve been editing, updating and expanding on mentally for years… but, it’s like I have suddenly been given the drivers to actually allow the programming to RUN in my brain. It’s been there for years, but almost like it was ‘Read-only’ or a program with no .exe file, if that makes any sense?

Makes sense for me loll All of our potential is mostly latent or dormant as you like to mention it. I told my little brother the other day that we essentially become who we already are. I believe we all come with the blueprint of who we are meant to be. We just forget about it. We allow society and many other circumstances to dictate how we should be. We don’t listen to our inner guidance.

I’d go one step further, and say that we are trained out of doing so by well-meaning (but oft frazzled) caretakers, post-arrival. Which is, of course, expected and even planned for before we arrive, IMHO.

Life is all about becoming who we intended to become, I think, though I think it was ourselves who did the ‘intending’, not some outside force exerting its will upon us.