my Life and its cycles

On… Pressure

I was thinking this morning while getting ready as I always do, but today it was about medication specifically.

I’m asthmatic, and have to take 2 puffs twice a day of an inhaler, which stops me feeling like my chest has some kind of very restrictive corset on.

I also have depression, and have to take 2 20mg tablets every day, which stops me feeling like my brain has some kind of very restrictive corset on.

This year I’d set myself a goal of reducing the anti-depressants to 20mg a day.

Today I asked myself why I’d felt the need to set myself this goal, I wouldn’t do it with the inhaler, after all.

I realised that I’d put this pressure on myself because anti-depressants are, at least initially, viewed like a plaster. You put a plaster on to keep a wound clean, and help the healing process. And for some people this is exactly what anti-depressants do – help them get back on track, start and maintain their healing process until they feel like they don’t need them any more. But what if for me I need them like I need my inhaler?

So today I gave myself permission to not feel any pressure on this subject, to drop my ‘goal’. If I need to be on these tablets long term what’s the problem? Mental health is like any other form of health issue, so why treat the medication for it like a temporary fix?

And along with this I’d set goals of blogging twice a month. Well I’ve obviously succeeded at that… (NOT)* so in the name of reducing pressure I’m going to forgive myself and just blog when I can/feel inspired. Because what’s the point in forcing something?