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The Every 15 Minutes Event at Rhea County High School March 26, 2012. This was a program organized by the Rhea County Anti-Drug Coalition (RCAD) and the Rhea County Sheriff's Department. It was presented to raise awareness of the dangers of drinking and/or texting while driving.

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Double Standards

Author: Tiffany SoysterDate: November 30, 2016

Let me share something with you that I
happened upon recently.

“I got girls that I shoulda made pay for
it/Got girls that I should made wait for it/Got girls that'll cancel a flight
back home/Stay another day for it.” Or, what about this? “And do you mind if I
touch you there?/Girl, you know you can't do no better, baby/I know that it
don't get no better than me”

Any clue
what you just read? No, I didn’t just transcribe part of the Donald Trump video
for you. I did, however, hop over to the
Billboard Hot 100 list, and introduce you to lyrics from a song that was on the
charts for 19 weeks.

This isn’t a political column. At least,
not specifically. This is about a huge double standard we have in our country,
and how incredibly confusing it must be to our children.

Not too long ago, our nation was up in arms
over comments made by then-Presidential candidate Donald Trump. A video was released which included Trump
engaging in what he described as “locker room talk” with another individual.
I’m not going to go into the specifics, because the only way you would not be
aware of this would be if you are living under a rock (I was going to say if
you didn’t have television, but I don’t, and I still knew about it.).

I’m not necessarily going to comment on
what Trump said, except to say it seemed very degrading to women. I am,
however, going to comment on our response to it.

Political allies turned course, celebrities
spoke out against him, and Trump’s opponent Hillary Clinton used that moment to
capitalize. But throughout this whole ordeal, we missed something very, very
important.

Trump’s comment are no worse, and in many
cases, much more mild, than songs you will find on the Billboard lists. Don’t
believe me? Google the lyrics for “For Free,” “1Night,” or, honestly, check out
just about any song by Rapper Lil’ Wayne. These aren’t obscure artists that no
one has ever heard of. These are in the top 100 songs in the nation right now.

How can we tell our boys it isn’t ok to say
similar things or treat women in a similar fashion, yet allow them to listen
and support artists who sing about exactly the same thing? How can we tell our
girls they should not tolerate a man who would treat them in such a manner, yet
not bat an eye when we hear them singing about being used as a “toy?” Am I the
only one that sees the disconnect here? Am I the only one that sees just how
hypocritical we are being?

What a mixed message we are sending to our
kids. How can they take us seriously when we say one thing but do something
completely different? I’m sorry. “Do as I say, not as I do,” doesn’t cut it.
Our children deserve better than that.

So, what do we do? We can’t possibly take
down the Goliath that is popular music. It is too big, there is too much money,
and too many people don’t care. But we can speak out against it.

Each grade that receives the Edge program
is challenged with a lesson that focuses on the influence of the media. We quiz
our sixth graders on slogans and logos, and it is incredibly eye-opening to see
what they actually know. Especially when it comes to insurance. They can name
those companies just as fast as they can the fast food stops. Our 7th
graders get a lesson on worldview, and how just because we believe certain
things about life doesn’t mean it is actually true. Our 8th graders
receive an historical perspective on the influence of media as we discuss how
Nazi Germany used media to propagate the belief that those of Jewish descent
were subhuman. And, finally, our high schoolers get another look at worldview,
as we discuss how media doesn’t really show the consequences of choices. And,
we let them know that consequences are based on truth, not simply on what we
believe.

Media is a very, very powerful influence on
our children. Most students have either a television in the room, or have
access to a video streaming service on their personal electronic devices. Most
of my students report engaging in media for 5-7 hours on a school day, and more
than 10 hours on the weekends. Our behavior is an overflow of the messages we
receive.

But, don’t lose heart! Studies have shown
that despite the huge amount of media consumed by our students, parents are
still a powerful, and in most cases, the most powerful, influence on their
children. So, I encourage you. Have these conversations with your children. Ask
them to name some of their favorite songs and then pull the lyrics. Sit down
with them and discuss what these songs or television shows are saying about
life, and compare that to the truth. Can you really make those same decisions
and not face any negative consequences? Ask your daughters if they want to be
treated the way Lil’ Wayne sings about treating women. Ask your sons how they
would feel if their sister, or mother, was treated that way. And challenge them
to rise above.

If you need resources, please don’t
hesitate to contact the Edge. While we work closely with students, we desire to
equip parents to have these tough conversations. Our children need to know that
the double standard is not ok. They need to know that we expect more. And,
honestly, many of us need to hear that same thing too.