Hi everyone. I'm Jess and a bisexual,tranvestite with gender dysphoria. Basically I l feel like a woman inside but don't look like one too much on the outside. This is a very personal world I have lived in and it revolves around intense fantasy life and lots of masturbation while I wear things and makeup. I kept this hidden for years but it has slowly developed where I can no longer contain it to my personal life. For some reason I seem to love myself as a woman so much I get sexually aroused looking at myself en femme. The problem I have is it seems like I am out of control and this has become a complete obsession. Recently I took the step of tweezing my eyebrows very thin and maintain them religiously every night before I masturbate. I have removed all my body hair for some time and am totally addicted to self tanning lotion. I just love to look at myself with my thin eyebrows and hairless tan body.. wearing lingerie and makeup. I masturbate and find great satisfaction doing this. My problem is I'm not living in society as a woman and I really have little chance of passing. I do go out sometimes dressed and it has always been an awkward affair for me. Now in male mode my eyebrows scream out .. hi there mr tranny . Even a friend kept saying "transvestites activate" around me today. I guess his sense of humour but I get very sensitive how to respond to his comments.. negative or even positive because it all seems so personal and now I can't hide it anymore. Society can be a real drag if you don't fit in. Anyways , does anyone have any thoughts on my situation. How do I fit in as a male when I do all these obvious feminine things like thin arched eyebrows and hairless tanned body. I sometimes feel like a freak. The hard part is that sex drives this aspect of me and to explain it to anyone is not ideal unless they know me somewhat. I added a pic of my eyebrows here so you can see how thin I wear them, I never see any other guys wearing their brows this thin but I really love them like this soooo much until i go out, then i get really self conscious!!

Your eyebrows look stunning! I prefer a bit of a thicker/larger brow but that's me. However, as I age my eyebrows are becoming more sparse and the endless tweezing over the years has taken its toll, so that now my eyebrows ae patchy in places and really need help with shape. I tell you all this because I think you might benefit from using something I use....I use a pressed powder eyebrow color (NO pencil!!) and the firm brush that comes with it to fill in the sparse areas and make my arches arch! You might want to use this type of product when you are going someplace where you feel you might be ridiculed.

Also, I do notice there are plenty of men, straight men (on TV mostly) who are tweasing/waxing/whatever. And then there is Jay Emanuel! Perhaps if you allow your brows to be a tad more thick/fuller you could leave them natural and go about your life, and others will just think (and who cares, but I know that you are teased so yes, it does matter!) that you simply prefer not to have ape-brows!

Your situation is very intriguing... I'm a little confused though, in your profile you identify yourself as female yet you're physiologically, you are a male, right?

I think regardless of your answer, my thoughts would be the same. I feel you probably have to decide how is that you want to look. These days, there are so many celebrities that pluck their eyebrows that it's becoming a non issue. However, there are certain styles that fit women better. This is up to you of course, but what I feel you worry about is the coherence of your look. After all, things get "freaky" when they don't seem to be in place sort of speak.

What I would suggest is to soften your look a little bit. Maybe not to tan too much, let your brows thicken a little bit, yet keep the "clean" (as in hairless) femenine look. I figure you may get into fairly intense periods while you're masturbating, believe me it's happened to me too; however, try to keep "modifications" for periods of non-arousal. You can always use makeup to cover or enhance whatever features you like.

I sympathize with your situation... I'm a woman of course and I like being one, but for the longest time when I was growing up, I looked very boyish and pretty much was a tomboy. So, it took me quite a while to find a way in which I would feel comfortable with myself. The first thing I did was to let my hair grow very long, and after that eyebrows were the most difficult to get right. It's a trial and error thing, but if you can ask a good friend for a honest opinion... It really helps even if they're not very fashionable.

Thank you Princess and Olive for your thoughts and input. Both helped calm my fears down some.

I can understand to some people this situation and question may be odd. Transgenderism/transvestism/narcissim has slowly developed in my spirit for many many years. I've read alot about being TG and its different forms. I know anyone dealing with it has very similar yet at the same time very different experiences. Some accept it early in life and others late and some never at all. I happen to be experiencing this climax where my appearance is being affected by it as I reach middle age. Either way its a hard journy because two spirited people dont sit neatly on either side of the gender spectrum. (By the way Olive ..the reason I chose Female is because this site doesn't have a transgender category. I am M2F hence the "female") but ya... so the reason I posted was my fantasy life /masturbation "self love" had a lot to do with me going for it and feminizing my brows. I already have had long hair for years and done the body hair removal thing about 4 years now. The brows really completed my secret ideal self. I couldn't be happier with them alone. Ive always had a fetish for girls with really thin eyebrows and I suppose have internalized that to my own form of beauty I'd like to see in myself.

I appreciate both your comments about what I could do with my look do better pass in male mode. I very well may let my brows grow out a bit. Though at the same time part of me really wants them to stay like this. I feel so sexy and have had a constant sexual energy and excitment with me since I thinned them out. After all these years of secret dressing and female feelings I did something openly for once and I carry it with me at all times. The eyebrows are outing me I guess and there lays the confidence thing. There is a sexual fixation/fetish involving this too as I like looking at myself with them so much in the mirror during masturbation but it isn't only that. There is also spiritual side to it as well. I do feel female inside usually. Still I want to be comfortable when I'm in public.. being really self conscious is no fun. I suppose I'm just changing some either way and I have to start dealing with that and so does the world. Even out of the bedroom I feel very androgenous these days. Its complicated though as I hid this side of me so long and it does impact my life and how I am perceived. I like this site so I'll stick around and keep you all updated on whatever. I hope to see you and others here and communicate. Jess

Do you want to look male or female? If youre trying to pass off still looking a male whilst wearing fake tan/hairless body/ eyebrows like that then i guess to some people it is going to look a bit strange

Do people know how you feel? Have you come out as being a transgender?

If a woman is what you want to be, and feel as though you are then maybe you should try accepting yourself for who you are and not who others want you to be? I could be getting things completely wrong here, so my bad if i have

Hi Anon. You didn't get things wrong completely. I am a male who likes to look female and feel feminine often but am not prepared to denounce my maleness completely either....In an ideal world I would just decide to be female.. but that is not an easy task to do full time since I am at mid life and not too passable and a full transition seems like A LOT to bare for me right now. I sort of am playing a shell game with my gender. I don't know where it will lead me.. perhaps to full time semipassable woman or perhaps androgenous guy. I've changed my looks(like the eyebrows) and thats why I posted.. I was feeling confused and wondered if any others had advice or could could relate to me doing image modifications backed up by sexual desires. I'm also out to family as trans/bi and out to friends as bisexual. Thanks for replying.. Jess

I went through similar conditions when I was younger, sadly as you get the older the transition becomes harder to make because of the people around you. I would follow your heart and be who you really are.