22 Twin Peaks: The Return T-Shirts to Drink Full and Descend

By the time you read this, the final two episodes of Twin Peaks: The Return (aka Season Three) may have already aired. But as of this writing, I am still waiting for the conclusion of this mind-bending amazing and disappointing show. And if you haven’t seen any of it, beware, there be SPOILERS ahead!

I should make it clear that I am loving almost every minute of Twin Peaks: The Return. It’s David Lynch unchained, and it’s a Lynch fan’s dream. But as a Twin Peaks fan, I was a little disappointed that it’s technically nothing like the original series. Yes, in the big picture, it’s refreshing. If David Lynch and Mark Frost tried to re-create the original series, it probably wouldn’t have worked, or looked tired from day one.

Instead, they gave us a story with a wide scope that though it may not seem, will all lead directly to Twin Peaks. There has been some amazing moments. Episode 8, of course, it the most memorable, with the 2001ish like nuclear explosion, The Woodsman (did he ever get a light?) and the bug crawling into the young girl’s mouth (Sarah Palmer?).

I felt the Dougie story line went on a little too long. Wanted to see more Agent Cooper, but how exciting was it to have him back? And are the “growing” another one to make Janey-E and Jim’s family complete. And while we’re at it, who is growing these doppelgänger or tulpas? For what purpose?

Every episode of TP:TR seems to reveal a new mystery. There is no way everything is going to be wrapped up in two hours. And in one sense, I don’t want it all wrapped up in a nice little package. The fun of this new series is trying to figure out what the f*** was going on? I’ve had some of the best debates with friends over this.

Since Twin Peaks: The Return unravels like a random chain of thoughts, I’m going to conclude this blog with my random questions and thoughts about the series. And I dug through the shit of crappy t-shirts to find you some of the best new ones. Made me realize how many cool quotes and images have come out of Season Three.

So… Is the “mother” who we saw kill the people in the first episode on the loose? What does she want? Is she connected to Sarah Palmer (is she Sarah Palmer)? Who built the box in NYC? Why? And was it just a coincidence that Ben Horne mentions a rich guest from NYC in the same episode?

What’s Laura’s role in all this? Why is she THE ONE? Where is her soul? Will we see it again? I’ve a feeling her soul will help bring balance to a world that was ripped apart during that first nuclear tests.

And where is Bob? He was taken out of Mr. C, Sadly, Frank Silva has passed on, but that has not stopped such characters from being present. David Bowie playing my little tea pot, for instance. And will we get news that the original Sheriff Truman has passed on (the original actor, Michael Ontkean, has said to be retired)?

Who are the Woodsmen? What do they want? Is their endgame also in Twin Peaks? Are they the men in “men are coming”? And what do they have to do with the zone that Major Briggs obviously discovered?

Will we ever see the final missing page of Laura’s diary? Maybe this is a set up for the never say never Season 4. Will we figure out what they mysterious symbol on the Ace of Spades means? Or what that melting receiver in Buenos Aires, Argentina was?

Yes, there are tons more questions and theories and I love it! For those naysayers who complain the show makes no sense or it’s too weird, well, not every show needs to make sense or be normal (just like music). Twin Peaks: The Return may not be everybody’s taste, but it is mine! And I’ve very sad that it’s coming to and end. But I think it’s going to keep us talking for the next 25 years!