PROMINENT FABLES OF THE WEES. __ (From Our Chief Liar). Bannocburn, Sept. 2. Sandy McTavish found the wee McGregor distilling -whisky in his mother's backyard, and a , grave scandal has been i started in the neighbourhood. \The family are most respectable kirkpeople. {Dr. John McGregor was the cele brated scientist who - found the - Stone of Destiny and led the ex pedition in search of the Holy Grail. The Wee McGregor is ths great great grandson of he's mother]. Lucerne, Sept. 4. M. Millerand, who has been rest ing at the Peak of Demons Hostel, 'dined with Mr. Lloyd-George, who has also been resting elsewhere, and both had a heart to heart talk on 'how to feed when you don't want to.' Davy and Monsieur fratern ised over their grilled frog, and both left the hotel wonderfully elated. The short rest has greatly improved the English Prime Minister, and his hair is lying closer to his headv Later. A visitor from Ireland arrived to day, carrying important documents and a worried look for...

'JLbe little UustraUan ' (Better known as Mitchell's Monitor). SATURDAY, SEPT. 11, 1920. Pillage hands et Tintacks. OUR IDOL. PRESS CUTTINGS BY HARRY O. (No matter how important or unimportant, our contemporaries will re ceive my personal attention). We desire, in a few words, to con gratulate the citizens of Western Australia on the eminent personage at present occupying the position and drawing the pay of Premier of WesWn Australia, Mr. James Mit rhtwr* As will be recollected, we have consistently barracked for him in these columns, and even spent considerable time' in writing special articles procjgiming his virtues, ana we feel sure our work -has not been in vain. Indeed, when one comes to think of it we have done a great ' service not only to ourselves, but also to everybody and the Empn-; in particular in boosting Mr. Mit-' chell. We know his .qualities as a Ffciandiee, Optimist, and Sleeper. Further, it is exceedingly gratifying to Us to commend his simple virtue in the latte...

At the Criterion Hotel, Hay street.— Swan Beer at its best. Reg Harrison, proprietor. FOR GOOD BREAD. CM. REGAN, BASER, EAST FREMANTLE. AUCTION SALES AT SHORTEST NOTICE. Conducted in any part of the State, I or #will Buy Furniture Outright to Avoid Auction. Money to Lend on all classes of Security from £5 to £1,000. -War Bonds Bought. C. E. MOSELEY, AUCTIONEER, HOUSE, LAND and COMMISSION AGENT. NEXT P.O., FREMANTLE. Tel, 937. msmmsL WELLINGTON-STREET, PERTH. A LEAQING CITY HOUSE. Close to Station. EVERYTHING RIGHT UP TO DATE. J. MOYLAN. ALBJMMBABS ROYAL ARCADE. M. DE PEDRO .... Proprietor. Free Lunch. Finest Wines. Union and Swan Beer on Draught

THE AWFUL AMRITSAR ATROCITY PREMEDITATED BUTCHERY. Suppressed Findings 'Of Commission. On April 13th, 1920, a body of sepoys, commanded by .Brigadier General R. E. H. Dyer, C.B., opened fire on a crowded meeting of In dians in the City of Amritsar. Fir ing lasted for ten minutes, and at the end of that time two thousand casualties were counted. When the cabled news of this dreadful masacre reached Australia, most Australians assumed that the gathering must have been of a riot ous and threatening character, and that, while General Dyer's action seemed unnecessarily severe, it was probably explained by his 'losing his head' in the face of a very dan gerous situation — that he was guilty of an' error of judgment, deplorable, indeed, but not criminal. Eventually one of thpse ponder ous' farces called a Royal Commis sion sat on the affair, and as a re sult of its report* Dyer has been re lieved of most of his responsibilities. The' report is to be had from His Majesty's Stationery Offie,...

VALEDICTORY. ? r» ? A Prominent Citizen Farewelled. At 11 aon.. yesterday a crowded attendance of prominent citizens met at the instigation of the .Lord Mayor, Sir William Lathlain, O.B.E., to farewell Mr. E. J. Dunne, well known in journalistic circles in. Perth, and further, to present to the guest a small token of esteem from representatives of the fair sex of the city. Mr. Dunne, it w#l be learned with pleasure, has recently received a call from Mr. Lenin of Russia and elsewhere, and it is un derstood that he goes to a lucrative appointment in that distressful country as the chief propagandist for the ? Soviet Government. Sir William, in the course of his re 'marks, referred to the splendid ser vices Mr. Dunne had rendered the community in Perth. As a loyalist and chaser of peripathetic politi cians, and the befriender of impe cunious stage artists, he nad no equal in this or any other country. Although the Great War Kad been over two years he would never for get the splendid se...

Bringing Guildford's folly to Book! The frequent course of a traitor to any cause or ideal is to abuse and villify the movement he has betrayed. Davies, of Midland, is a particular virulent example of this, and loses no chance to insult the class from which : he sprung, and to which he owes his chance of public life. .Mr. Green, M.L.A. is asking the Premier these questions: .1. Is he aware that during the Address-in-Reply the member for Guildfprd (Mr. Davies), in referring to the workers on the wharf at 'Port Darwin, quoted the following state ment: 'There are men working on the wharf in Port Darwin who are engaged at a 40 or 44-hour week, and for whom a weekly wage is prescribed, because they would not accept any other condition, and who are receiving from. £7 to £7 10s a week; although for 13 weeks on end no steamship has entered Port Darwin, these men were drawing wages all the time.' 2. Is he further aware that the Acting Administrator of the Nor thern Territory (the Hon. Mr. St...

Sub-Rosa Replying to Mr. Pickering, the Minister for Mines said: 'The mtiver of the resolution would have us be lieve that he was the only person who took an interest in oil. In his (the Minister's) opinion, he was not so full of oil as of gas. — 'Daily News,' September 2nd. Last night I tossed and turned in bed— I could not sleep. At length I said, 111 think of fat Jack Scaddan And of his jibes-^the bad 'un. Poor Pickering tried his level best, And worked his case up with a zest. His sandy hair was combed down neat. His Oxford manner was a treat. His glasses shone with polish bright, But then, alas, that luckless wight, Was flayed with vulgar satire quits. When from his seat all fat and gross With srlly smile Jack Scaddan rose, And launching forth with grammar bad. Spoke words that made poor Picker ing mad. My Hon'ble friend, he shouted forth. Has stirred my spleen to anger wrath ; The way he's talked about the oil Has caused my plebian blood to boil. And so I cannot let it pass, B...

UNDER THE FOLDS OF OLD GLORY. ? \j ? A Biting Indictment. Eugene Debs, the Socialist nomi nee for the Presidency of America, is now serving a ten-years' sentence in the Federal prison at Atlanta, for asserting that the world war was a war for trade. Debs onnly assert ed a simple truth, but such is the pull which capitalised, patriotism has in America. Truth from the Ups of Debs- brought him under the operations of the Espionage Act, and got him penal service be hind prison gates in 'The home of the brave arid the'land of the free.' Debs is a native born American. 'It is a very easy and simple mat ter,' says this victim ^to capitalised American patriotism, 'to howl with the popular majority, but it takes the stuff of which manhood is made to stand fearless with the un popular few, or, if need be, alone.' Great hearts are more than coronets And simple faith than high-born blood. The profiteer swells very large under the folds of 'Old Glory,' and the professional poUtician kisses his t...

INSURANCE AGENTS' STRIKE. ? \j ? Satisfactorily Concluded. The long drawn out strike of in surance agents came to an end dur ing the past week, the men accept ing an offer from the companies which guarantees them a minimum wage of £4 per \*eek. The settle-, ment guarantees 'no victimisation,' and this stipulation applies al?o to those policy-holders who nobly sup ported the union by refusing to pay their premiums while the strike was on. We congratulate the' agents on the conclusion of their manfully fought battle, and offer them every good wish for a further improve ment ? when they succeed in getting to the Arbitration Court. Had arbitration been free to all there would have been no strike.

MIDLAND VOTES. Have you heard Jack Jennings sing 'Oh My Dolores'? Jimmy Butler is one of the finest raconteurs of old-time Midland sport in our village: His reminis cences o f early racing, football, trotting, etc., are well worth hear ing. In addition, Jimmy's shop is quite an art gallery, photos and press cuttings of sporting celebri tits, racehorses, cricket and football teams, sprinters, boxers, etc., adorn ing the walls. If at any time you want to refer to any sporting date drop in and have a shave, and dur ing the process you can look at the Sergeant Patrick O'Halloran, the king pea of the local constabulary, is in a quandary concerning the latest addition to his herd of bo vihes. The question is whether the calf is a Jersey or a Shorthorn. If certain rumour mongers are cor rect, there is one of each, as it was reported that 'Shamrock' had twins. ___________„

MORE FREMANTLE FRAGS. r\ i ? —\j ? i Lost, from the corner of High street and Packenham-street, red letter box. Everybody has to go to the Post Office now. More red tape. Shake 'em up, Andy. ? \j ? Newsboys that seU the papers had a great time on Wednesday night singing songs, one an essay on Drink, Drink. Mayor Gibson was in the chair, and Mr. Dh Rieu was in charge of affairs. At a late hour the boys wenjTiapme, also Katie, fuU-blown with 'cakes, ,lol-. Ues, and ginger-beer. Point Walter is on the move, and camp sites are being -taken up. Poor old Hancock, who used to camp under the fig tree, got pushed out, his' site being taken by Manager Jones, of Baker Bros. We surely hope the Roads Board will get a move on early to make it up to date.

KATHLEEN. Four and twenty ladies Riding through a green, Never a sweet one laughing there Had know the thrill of a lover's care; Only you, Kathleen. A rush in the star-shell's deathlight, A sniper's deadly spark; And her dream ebbed out with the staunchless flow Of his brave heart bleeding where none could know Out there in 'no man's' dark. Four and twenty ladies, The fairest ever seen. Never a one her ring had missed, Not a mother among them went un kissed — Only you, Kathleen! — Henry Tate, in Melbourne 'Birth.'

'MY YELLOW BAG.' (As sung by McKiddem Stiff). My Yellow Rag flaunts to the State, Its moving finger on the slate, Slings out black mud and sUmy lies, At those who will not advertise, In the 'Sunday Slimes' sedate. And thus our blackguard columns go, Printed by our notorious Hoe, Our blackmail' way will always pay, My Yellow Rag. The Minister for Railways may Read 'Verse but Worse' also 'They Say,' And sitting in his easy chair, Wondering how he will fare, If Albany says, 'Hoe! get away! Yqu Yellow Scrag!' 'MICKY DRIPPEN-.'

THE HARLOT. '.' She was as patent a harlot as ever % ? painted her face. . j I watched her progress along the j sidewalk of the mean street. j The setting sun crimsoned again J the crimson smears on her cheeks; /- men gaped, women sniffed, raw f youths sniggered. v.? But she went her way, denanuy, I. 1 erect in her shame; brazen as gilt \'-M on an ash-barrel. t . j S Nobody noticed the ragged chid — --,? until The Harlot passed near her. M The Harlot gave her a coin. The -« giving sanctified the gift. For once M at least was the price of a harlot |9 received in the treasury of the Lord. J The child smiled, and the Harlot ytt smiled too; the smile shone holy .-Jj through her thick-plastered paint. * s She passed on, again a Harlot. ,- ]? That afternoon Christ walked by ? the side of a Harlot along the side- ^M walk of a mean street. ' -^M That night a pagan lit a candle ^M before the altar oHIaint Mary Mag- ^H dalen. ~ 1«