In order to be a mentor, you need to be seen as experienced and successful
at something. A mentor gives advice and guides someone who is less experienced
and successful, i.e., a mentee or protégé.
Mentoring is a gift and a privilege. To be asked by someone for
mentoring means that person sees you as a role model and believes your wisdom
can help he/she grow and be more successful.
Mentoring someone has the potential to be one of the most rewarding and
satisfying things you’ll ever do in your career.
If you have been asked by someone to be their mentor – don’t just be an
okay mentor – be an amazing mentor! Be that person
who made a difference in a person’s life!
What does an amazing mentor do? When people are asked to describe their most
amazing mentors, here are the 14 characteristics most often mentioned:

1. They are “present”.
Amazing mentors are incredibly focused and in the moment. They take a
sincere interest in their mentees, and treat their time spent as important.
They hold their calls, shut their doors, turn off their phones, and give their
mentees 100% undivided attention.

2. They listen.
While you can “feel” when someone is present, listening is the most visible
skill most often used to demonstrate presence. Active listening comes across in
making eye contact, attentive body language, paraphrasing, and giving
encouragement to open up. Great listeners are genuinely curious about learning
more, and they listen for understanding, disciplining themselves to suspend
their own judgment.

Sometimes, that’s all someone needs – just to be heard, and
to think things through for themselves. Listening is the ultimate form of
respect.

3. They ask awesome questions.
Amazing mentors don’t just tell war stories and spew advice. In addition to
listening, they ask awesome questions – lots of them! They use
questions as a way to learn more, and more importantly, as a way to help the
mentee clarify and solve his/her own problems.

4. They are role models.
Amazing mentors are always aware of the impact of their behaviours on
others. The lessons learned are, “Do as I do, not just what I say”.

5. They keep their promises and hold their mentee accountable.
Mentoring sessions often end with a list of action items, and amazing mentors
are very adept at summarizing who is going to do what by when. Then, at the
start of the next session, they will report on what they did and ask the mentee
to do the same. By doing so, they are role modelling personal
accountability, and they don’t appreciate it when a mentee hasn’t completed
their task.

They will let them know that it’s an expectation and
condition of continuing the mentoring relationship.

6. They learn from their mentees.
Amazing mentors learn as much from their mentees and their mentees learn
from them – they at least try.

7. They are humble.
Being asked to be a mentor can be a huge ego trip if you let it be. Amazing
mentors realize mentoring is not all about them – it’s about
the growth and development of the mentee. Being a role model does not mean
having to be seen as perfect. Mentees can learn just as much about your
mistakes and shortcomings as they can your successes and strengths. Sharing
your mistakes and lessons learned, and what you are doing to develop yourself
helps establish trust and gives your mentee permission to be vulnerable.

8. They share amazing stories.
In addition to listening and asking great questions, mentors can teach by
telling compelling stories about their own lessons learned. Storytelling is an
art and should not be overused – a good rule of thumb is one story per
mentoring session, but make it a good one.

9. They give feedback.
When a mentor offers feedback, it’s offered as a gift with the intention of
helping the mentee learn about himself/herself and grow. Amazing mentors –
because they take such a genuine interest, listen, and ask such great questions
– will learn a lot about what makes a mentee tick. They have the ability and
sensitivity to offer specific, sincere, and timely feedback.

10. They are patient.
Amazing mentors remember what it’s like to be new or inexperienced, and will
allow their mentees the time to reflect, form insights, make mistakes, learn,
and grow at their own pace. While they set high standards and will push a
mentee to do more than they thought they could do, they don’t expect
unrealistic, overnight improvement.

11. They respect and honour confidentiality.
Amazing mentors expect what, “is said in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” means they
don’t leak out if anything is said to them.

12. They practice “Situational Leadership”.
The same approach shouldn’t be used for every mentee. Some people are less
experienced and require more direction and support, while others are more
experienced and may just need to be listened to and given a vote of confidence.
Amazing mentors vary their approach to the individual and to the situation.

13. They set boundaries.
The best mentors don’t date their mentees, are not friends with their
mentees, and know where to draw the line between a trusted professional relationship
and an intimate personal relationship.

14. They value diversity.
Amazing mentors don’t just seek or do well with mentees that remind them of
themselves when they were younger. They are willing to push themselves out of
their comfort zone and mentor those are very different than themselves.