Wednesday, November 22, 2006

No Wonder They're Almost Extinct!

I just read this disturbing article about the methods being used to get pandas to reproduce. Yes, apparently they are showing pandas porn to teach them how to mate. This, I fear, does not bode well for the future of mankind, for the fact that pandas need such disgusting titillation in order to reproduce may, in fact, describe our own condition and why vast swathes of the world population is obsessed with pornography, such that it has infiltrated every facet of our lives. While one may never have guessed it given all the children that Hispanics, Africans and Muslims seem to spawn, what the world may be looking at is a failure of its obligation to God to raise as many children as possible in the words of Christ. That means we, like pandas, may be going extinct. Of course, it may be true that porn does increase our fornication and therefore the number of children the world will see born; however, such children will surely not be raised in the words of God, thus sewing the seeds of destruction upon mankind. Whether these children join the armies of Satan to wreak havoc on the world (just look at the Middle East and Africa, where children grow up heathen) or God simply sees fit to strike us down with coming of Armageddon, we are certainly doomed to a fate not unlike that of pandas. On a secondary note -- and this is just speculation on my part -- the fact that we are showing pandas pornographymay lead to a new kind of enemy that we Christian soldiers may have to fight: animals possessed by Satan. I say this simply because the using of evil technology to teach animals the joys of fornication will certainly have some sort of perverted effect upon their brain. Now, whether that effect is something akin to being possessed by the Devil such that we must beware pandas running around China like werewolves remains to be seen. This is especially true given that pandas are very lazy creatures and spend most of their days sitting around eating bamboo.