Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year. Damian: She asked me how to spell orange. [Cady snickers] Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners. Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels. Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone. Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets. Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

Cady: Oh, god. Janis: You dirty little liar! Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain. Janis: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. Cady: You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic. Janis: Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic. Damian: Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10. Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness? Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge! Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!" Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something! Janis: What? Damian: Oh, no, she did not! Janis: See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize. [Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window] Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!

Damian: [reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book] "Too gay to function?" Janis: That's only okay when *I* say it!

Janis: [to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. [to Regina] Janis: God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you? Cady: They wanted me to get socialized. Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you. Cady: What are you talking about? Janis: You're a regulation hottie. Cady: What? Damian: Own it.

Damian: She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. Janis: Who cares? Damian: I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care. Janis: Wow, Damian, you've truely out-gayed yourself. [Cady laughs]

Cady: She took him back. Regina took Aaron back. Janis: Oh, no, Cady... Cady: Why would she do that? Janis: 'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.

Cady: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade. Janis: What does it say about me? Cady: [lying, because the book describes Janis as a dyke] You're not in it. Janis: Those bitches!

Cady: And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade. Janis: Well what does it say about me? Cady: You're not in it. Janis: Those bitches.

Cady: [describing Regina] She's not even that good looking if you really look at her. Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.