The # 1 Thing We’re Missing in America

I guess you noticed I haven’t been sharing as much lately on the blog. Honestly, I’ve been overwhelmed. Not just overwhelmed with my work as a bedside, critical care nurse on the frontline of COVID-19, but also with my emotions. I have had all the feelings over the past couple of months, and many of them are ones I don’t enjoy having. It’s been kinda heavy, and I’ve spent much of my time not saying anything rather than saying something I regret. Too bad more people don’t practice that restraint.

I’ve felt sadness for the many, sick patients I’ve seen battling this pandemic, and my heart has broken for their families. I realize that I have firsthand experience with a disease process that many others do not. It’s unknown and scary, and perhaps that’s why it’s easier for so many people to have the luxury to be flippant or apathetic about the virus. After all, it is more comfortable to claim it all a hoax or government-inflated theatrics, than to admit the frailty of human life.

I’ve oscillated between frustration and red, hot anger, melancholy and disappointment at the selfishness of my fellow man. I have seen some of the most ignorant comments, and I’ve witnessed some pretty heinous statements on social media. Why does the ability to type an opinion trump the decency of treatment of others, or why do we put on blinders to the plight of another, in favor of our own inconvenience? In other words, why are we such a selfish lot?

Do you know what we’re missing in this unprecedented pandemic? Compassion.

We’ve replaced it with selfish ambition. We’ve allowed our perspective to become quite narrow, seeing no further than our own front door.

We see how uncomfortable wearing a mask can be, how difficult it is to breathe. We become angry at someone mandating we wear something to protect ourselves or others. It’s all about “my comfort and my right to refuse.” I suppose we’re refusing the right to protect the elderly and immune compromised from the virus we could be carrying. The fact that it makes you hot should definitely precede expert opinion that it prevents the spread of germs.

Why do healthcare professionals wear them, based on hundreds of years of tested research, if they don’t really work? Perhaps we should tell doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologists it’s not necessary to wear them anymore in the operating room. While we’re at it, let’s get rid of all those pesky seatbelt and car seat laws. My body, my right to fly through the windshield!

Our perspectives have become so skewed, whereas we only see how a situation affects us personally. We forget that things could be worse, and even that they definitely are for other people.

We see that we can’t work for weeks at a time. We never consider the families who have lost their primary breadwinner forever, to death by COVID.

And I know that financial stress and income loss is serious! But fifty days in the Intensive Care Unit, waking up to a hole in your neck, and muscles so wasted you cannot move, well, that’s pretty darn serious too. We don’t think about that, though. It hasn’t happened to anyone we know personally, so the news is probably making it up. I’ll go tell that to my patient’s family. They haven’t even seen their husband/father in over a month, since he was admitted.

We are such a spoiled society in the United States. We get mad at slow internet and red lights, so naturally we’re up in arms over having to stay at home. We have to stay within the four walls of our sturdy, comfortably thermostat-adjusted dwelling. We’re protected from the elements, stuffing our bellies with an abundance of stock-piled food, and all we can say is, “I miss going into a restaurant to eat!”

All over this world mothers are crying because their children are starving. Fathers feel helpless that they cannot put a roof over their families’ heads. Families are running barefoot, with a pack of meager belongings slung over their backs, and they’re running to escape real bullets of persecution. Not the figurative bullets we think we are enduring from being forced to stay safe at home. Our inconvenience is the stuff some people dream of having, but we will never consider that.

We miss going to the mall, never thinking to thank God we have such things normally. We get angry over our children missing school activities, or our seniors not walking on stage at graduation. Do we ever consider the families who have lost children to this virus? They will never see them walk across any stage. The number of deaths by Coronavirus under age 18 seem low, until it’s your child.

Pictured above is Skylar Herbert who passed away in Detroit from COVID-19. Her father was a first responder.

Do you know I’ve even seen comments that COVID-19 only strikes “nasty” people with bad hygiene? Hmmm. I don’t even know where to begin. I could say this virus is no respecter of persons, hitting all races and socioeconomic levels, but instead I’ll ask a question. Since when is it acceptable to say one type of person is more understandable and acceptable to die? Like, it’s their fault where or what they were born into, and therefore they are less. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Gosh, we’re not much different than Hitler if we’re judging whose life matters more.

This pandemic has been really hard for me. I’ve dealt with the stress of caring for patients with the virus who nine times out of ten don’t get better, but I have tried to never let it escape me how well I have it. When my face hurt from the mask and I couldn’t breathe, or when I got tired and frustrated with the hectic environment, I would remind myself that I wasn’t scared, alone, and/or dying in a hospital bed.

Do you know the saying about trying to walk in another’s shoes? Maybe we should all lay in another’s hospital bed. It’s easy to dismiss the statistics if they’re far from your town/city, or if you tell yourself that they’re exaggerated. It’s not so easy for my Chaplain who lost his father, my friend who currently has four family members fighting the virus, or the nurses like myself who have seen more patients die with it than they can ever forget. It’s the same as the flu for someone who sits safely behind their smart phone screen on social media, sharing YouTube videos of conspiracy theories. But for the fifty year old man struggling to breathe in my hospital bed, being told to turn upside down and lay on his stomach to try and breathe better, well, this man knows it’s not like the flu at all.

It’s easy to blame the government or even Bill Gates for everything that’s going on when you’re sitting in front of your computer, but do you know who doesn’t have time for such extracurriculars? The weeping wife, pleading to God to save her husband, as she prays into his ear through the hospital room phone, hoping he can hear her, even though he won’t open his eyes. Yeah, that was hard for me to witness, but I simply joined her in prayer.

Perhaps that’s what we should be doing. Instead of complaining, let’s try sympathizing. Let’s join people in prayer, let’s offer them hope. Heck, at least offer them your hoarded toilet paper. But don’t lessen their grief and horrible situation by petty, selfish complaints. Instead of coming up with theories of why the numbers aren’t as bad as predicted, let’s thank God for His mercy, for answered prayers, and that flattening the curve and social distancing were successful. Let’s be grateful for life, not grumbling that it’s not as perfect as we believe it should be. Let’s take a moment and recognize that all the stuff we get frustrated about in this situation (like lack of toilet paper and bored children) are way better than an unexpected funeral that you can’t attend.

Comments

Brie, thank,you for,your honesty. As you know my husband suffered a stroke a month ago,today. While he was transferred, alone, 90 miles from our home I was so thankful that he had healthcare givers that took care of him while I was at home. We had the luxury of talking to each other everyday. While he was hospitalized and at an Inpatient Rehab Facility we could talk several times a day. There are so many that didn’t have that luxury. Many of,our friends worried about me being alone and not being with him. My comments were that, “I was in our home, safe and as healthy as I can be with a lung disease”. I considered myself very fortunate to have the creature comforts of home and knew that my husband would be coming home. My heart breaks for all those that have suffered heartache and loss during this pandemic. We are so beyond blessed by our Creator. He loves us for more then we deserve and comprehend. Thank you for your loving heart for all. Prayers for you and all healthcare workers, families and loved ones that have had to endure this stressful time. God is faithful!

I can feel the frustration and angst in your words which ring so true. We are an ungrateful, selfish lot. I have avoided fb and the majority of news outlets. I watch enough to stay informed, then my nerves start wearing thin.
I’ve been concerned when not seeing your posts but I get it. Sometimes it’s easier to keep our thoughts to ourselves. I do wish some others felt the same. People are just down right obnoxious sometimes.
The saddest thing about this post is that the ones who really need to see it probably won’t.
Hang in there sweetie. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I pray for you every night. We don’t know what the future holds but we know Who holds it. Praying you soon get some much needed physical and mental rest. God’s got your back!

You took the words right out of my mouth and heart. I’ve heard that comment over and over…. people are still dying from this, yes it’s tragic…..but…. and there is always a but….but I miss my mom, I miss a paycheque, I miss golfing , I miss paying 120$ for my monthly cut and colour…. I am also a nurse and I praise and thank you Brie, for the hardest job there is right now, working as a medical caregiver In critical care during this pandemic.

Brie, thank you for your courage in sharing these thoughts today. This was a very important, very brave post. You nailed it. With a strong hit.

My opinions from here on tonight are my own. (no reflection or in any way influenced by what you’ve written here)

I am more convinced now than ever that the forces of Deception are all around us right now & they are looking to latch on to our fears about this pandemic. Deception has found that little space under our doors for easy access. It may be a hole in our confidence, our fear of economic insecurity or a gap in our simple lack of knowledge of how to deal with what we don’t yet understand on any given day when life isn’t the way it used to be. Deception will use that space to crawl through & he’ll try to enter our safe places-our homes, our churches, our hearts. And he will use this opportunity to try to disrupt our rational God-given thought processes & sow seeds of doubt that can easily grow to become the weeds that will eventually choke our humanity.

My time here in this world to be able to fight (or even just pray) for the defeat of Deception may be limited by my current battle with an earthly disease. But I truly hope that more people will draw strength from the real Truth & stand firm on that strong rock of support that is given to us only from Our Father. I can only hope that the brave believers who may soon be subject to scorn & ridicule (& maybe much worse) will bring others to stand & follow His promise instead of following false prophets or so-called Patriots or members of this growing Qult club

I will pray for you all as long as I’m able. That you will persevere to remain kind & forgiving, (to yourselves as well as to those who may someday hurt you) To be good, compassionate, humble & fearless humans, made in the image of Him.
And, not for anything, I am grateful to you in advance for stepping up to all that you will eventually be called to do in order to honor the promise of His incredible gift. Don’t mess this up, people-stay where you will be the most challenged. Don’t hesitate to call out the selfish, the easy people who would prefer to see you divided against your neighbors or against those who may not look like you. Know that you can still prevail against Deception if you just plug up that little space under your door while you can.
God Bless you.

In agreement with other comments shared and thank you Brie for taking the time to realign perspective and by one who is on the front lines. Our grand-daughter is a nurse and she shares the same sentiments as you. We in the USA have so much to be thankful for and sadly don’t realize it. Compassion and seeing that others are precious in God’s sight is sorely missing. Prayerfully your words and others who are coming to similar conclusions and sharing them will wake up more of the masses. Thankfully we live in a community of believers who are reaching out as we can and attempting to demonstrate the compassion and care needed by so many. Blessings Anne Marie

Meet Brie

Brie is a forty-something wife and mother. When she's not loving on her hubby or playing with her three daughters, she enjoys cooking, reading, and writing down her thoughts to share with others. She loves traveling the country with her family in their fifth wheel, and all the Netflix binges in between. Read More…

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