Ask not what the Higgs boson can do for you. Ask what it can do for me

Ever since physicists announced their discovery of the Higgs boson particle in Switzerland on July 4, I keep being told that its existence fundamentally alters our knowledge of the universe. I have no idea who this "our" refers to. My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great meals. I do not believe mankind will ever develop a formula to explain this.

Still, I figured if I could talk to one of the greatest physicists in the world and have him explain the Higgs boson to me, I...