Category Archives: Joe Gorga

I hate reporting on things that did not happen but y’all read some crazy stuff and then expect me to explain to you why it was bullshit. Let me just remind you about something called “Just because you read something on the Internet doesn’t make it true.” I try to avoid blog wars as much as possible. So when you send me a link asking about the veracity of a site, I generally respond with “I’m sorry, I do not read/am not familiar with that site.” That should be a big enough hint.

But apparently, it is not. But there were plenty of issues with the story you should have been able to side eye on your own. The FEDS do not send “two probation officers, two interns and two local cops” to conduct a federal raid. In fact a “RAID” is something that occurs before the charges are even filed. What the Giudicies could be facing is a seizure of assets. Which will likely occur. It will not occur when a couple of interns drop buy to climb through trap doors in a closet ceiling. It will occur when some US Marshalls arrive. Not a half a band of merry men all named Marco from the probation office of Podunk county New Jersey. Continue reading →

Kyle Richards and Melissa Gorga and their spouses attended the NYC tree lighting this week and ended up spending some time together. Noticeably absent were the RHONJ convicted felons. It was clear at the reunion that Teresa wanted nothing to do with her brother and sister-in-law. Teresa refused to even look at Melissa and was snappy with Joe Gorga. I don’t expect those siblings to be in the same family drawing for secret Santa this year. Kyle was in NYC to be on WWHL and to do a bit of Christmas shopping. Do we recognize any of the faces behind them?

Fine. I will pay attention to you ONE MORE TIME. But this is out last breakup conversation. Do you hear me? No more. I’m changing my number. At least there is a psychic. I always like a psychic. Unlike you ungrateful bitches. Oh they are astrologers! We have a surplus of those here at Tamaratattles.com I can envision the stupid comments already. We will be hearing about rising signs and retrogrades for sure. They are ASTROTwins. Amber just says she has been a “devote Catholic” for the last five years. That’s like five lentil seasons! At least Rosie is there. When she is the exciting addition, we’re in for trouble. The astrotwins read the twins charts first. They are Virgos and people should be careful not to cross them. Amber decides to compromise her “devote” beliefs in about ten seconds. Did you have difficulty with an Aries? She doesn’t know what anyone’s sign is. Melissa is an Aries and Amber was an Aries in a past life…so …okay I can’t with this.

Tre is up next. Taurus with Gemini rising. She is here to learn how to be a provider in this life. The astrotwins tell Tre that she is going to feel the most stress in the beginning of 2015. That is when she is going to the big house! They even say Saturn will be in her legal house. They also say something about changing Joe’s legal team. Interesting. Teresa doesn’t know what a backbone is. The astrotwins say that they will have to spend some time apart but it will make them stronger. Tre is crying. So is Melissa. They say she will have to downsize a bit in 2015.

The twins take Dina lingerie shopping. So they go to Victoria’s Secret. No, wait. No they go to a dildo shop full of crotchless panties. Because, New Jersey. Continue reading →

I am so ready for this to be done and hope like hell that the husbands aren’t on unless Jim is excluded. Andy Cohen did an AMA on Redditt today where he basically said Jim is an ass in person just like on Twitter. He also said no decisions have been made about the future of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That is true, they don’t make decisions until after the final episode of the reunion airs. Then the team meets and decides who stays and who goes. About a week later is “pick-up day” when the housewives are either offered a pick up on their contract for another year, or they are send a nice letter thanking them for participating in the season and wishing the well on their future endeavors. Most of the time. There was a season of RHONY or two that the ladies were left hanging for quite some time wondering if they had jobs. So who knows when decisions will be made for next season. If there is a next season.

And we’re off and sadly the men are out there again. And the focus is on Jim just like he likes it. I am so over this little shitweasel. Our little Napoleon fan wants to point out he is the tallest between him and the two Joes. Is his fucktard 12 years old? I just don’t get a grown man acting this way on television embarrassing the shit out of his wife. Jim still says that he was working on cases with Paul Fishman the AUSA. #Delusional Jim did something weird off camera and Andy had to tell him to stop because he was freaking him out. Jim tries to explain why he hangs out on Twitter saying awful things to everyone. He says people were faxing hims “at his work” lol say they hope he dies, they hope he gets cancer, they hope his wife gets cancer etc. Jim tries to say he did it to take the trolls off of Amber. Please. Andy points out that Tre and Melissa get trolled on Twitter all the time and their husbands aren’t on Twitter all day long (because they are working, at a job). Jim asks Joe Gorga if he gets death threats at his work. Joe says no, because I’m not a douchebag. Jim is stunned because he just got finished sucking up to the Joes and that didn’t work. Too funny. Continue reading →

Before we get going on tonight’s recap, I need to take a quick minute to acknowledge the utter hideousness of this set. It looks like something off Dynasty circa 1984. This is a NYC set? Also I hate all of the dresses. Every last one of them. Why are they allowing white? White on TV used to be a big no no. Maybe now that we have flat screens and high definition it isn’t an issue? I like TereSSa’s dress in theory but the boobs are a problem. Nicole’s is probably the best of the bunch but that sort of like winning the Special Olympics in this case. No offense to TeeCee’s kid’s accomplishments. It’s just a simile. I had more to say but it is already starting, so I better quit while I am behind.

We go straight in to Teresa and how she has changed as a person over the six season she has been on. Teresa looks so much younger in 2008. Teresa says she has definitely changed for the better. She doesn’t worry about petty things anymore and focuses on what is important. Cut to tight shot of Melissa trying to keep a respectable, face and not roll her eyes. You can see the effort. Andy asks if her values have changed. She says, “Everything, yes.” Cut to TereSSa turning her head and letting out a deep sigh.

Tre says she came on the show just to have fun and look where she is now. Andy asks if she blames the show. She says not the show but a lot of people who came on the show came on just to hurt them. Some were housewives and others just came to parties, but the all started a lot of trouble. I guess those trouble makers cause her to commit 41 counts of fraud. They sound like real assholes. They show a clip of Danielle season two talking about the house she lived in before they moved into the mansion. Danielle accused them then of being in foreclosure. Next it’s season 3 with Kim G. Then season 4 where Teresa tell Jac that if she was going to jail, she is sure she would know about it. Teresa laughing in a talking head about going to jail. Tre says to the others to be careful because people come on the show to try to hurt them. Continue reading →

Andy goes straight to Teresa Giudice and asks if she is doing any better and getting any sleep. She says no, she says that yesterday was Gabriella’s birthday so they had a party at a sports place and it was so sad because Milania said she wants to have her next party there and her birthday is in February and she doesn’t know if she is going to be there. Okay, dumbass, her you are on TV again talking about big birthday parties now that sentencing is over. I don’t care if the whole thing cost $100. YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE PARTIES. The Feds really need to go in and find the stacks of cash those two are hiding. Dayum.

Andy surveys the other ladies on their feelings. Dina chokes up and says it is surreal to her. There are murderers on the streets and she’s such a good girl. My god these people are in denial. She is a good girl who was charged with FORTY ONE FEDERAL OFFENSES FOR FRAUD. She’s a good girl who continues to this day to lie to the court! Why is it that people think that “well I didn’t kill anybody” means they are not doing anything wrong.

Andy asks if Melissa has seen her since her sentencing. FYI this show was filmed four days after the sentencing. Nope. That means that she didn’t go to Gabriella’s birthday. Tre and Melissa are sitting right next to each other but seem very distant. Teresa doesn’t turn her head to look at her when she talks.

Dina says what she loves about Tre is that yesterday was Gabriella’s birthday and Teresa was right there with here. Teresa says the little ones don’t know anything. Teresa is clueless. Of course they do. They just didn’t get the courtesy of hearing it from their parents.

Dina says she didn’t want to do another reality show with family. She says maybe if it was a cooking show. Andy asks if she would do a cooking show with Caroline and she said, “Yes, I love my sister.” They talked about her previous season. Dina says she still has not filed for divorce. They are still friends with benefits. A viewer says it is slutty for her to date while she is married. She says they are separated. They are not separated if they live together at least not under the law. Tre sticks of for her and says slutty is when you have sex. She hasn’t had sex with them (the other guys.) Because Tre has enough time in her life to keep up with that and Dina’s vagina.

The question was asked about Dina’s funerals in her head. Did she have one for Caroline and Jac? Dina pauses. She says she usually doesn’t have funerals for family, but there might have been a wake. Then she laughs sort of maniacally. Dina says basically without naming names that it is healthier to love from a distance because Jacqueline is in both of their lives. She refers to Jac as toxic. I get it. I have a sibling with people who are toxic to me around as well. It’s just healthier to avoid the whole situation sometimes. Tre sticks up for Dina again. Andy says it was the show that was the issue and Dina says yes. Tre says she is glad Dina finally admitted it. Tre is not sedated at all. She seems to be in a good mood. Very chatty. Continue reading →

OMG I was bingewatching Bad Judge and time got away from me. Suddenly, I am 9 minutes late into RHONJ and it is NOT taping! I tuned in just in time to hear Amber telling Dina about “Alana” the hooker side of her? WTF? I feel like I missed so much in nine minutes! Did I miss Amber giving head to a bottle? Allegedly?

On to discussing divorce. And marriage. Dina knew her husband since she was 11 and he was 18. Is it me or is that kind of creepy? But Teresa chimes in and says she has know Joe since she was born. They used to play together as kids and Joe was always in trouble and her mother warned her to stay away from him. Oddly, today? or was it yesterday was Tre and Joe’s 15th wedding anniversary. I’m assuming the ladies are in Atlantic city. When this was being filmed some sent me some information about Teresa winning $1,000 while she was there. I was a bit skeptical because the name was spelled wrong. Maybe we will find out. Continue reading →

And just like that, RHONJ comes to an abrupt stop after only 12 episodes. This of course means that everyone gets about half the check for a normal season. What remains to be seen is whether or not Teresa and Joe will film a few more post sentencing episodes to scrap together a few more bucks. I suppose time will tell.

Then we flash back to six months earlier. Teresa and Melissa are hanging out at her house with all the kids. The kids are bouncing off the walls. Teresa is stressed.

Meanwhile, Dina and the twins are at “Abbey’s House” where the Project Ladybug event will be taking place. It’s ginormous. Is that an actual residence or an event hall? There are giant dogs there that make it seem like maybe Abbey lives there. Oh, it is her home and Dina is worried about the hoodlums coming. Victoria is NOT invited. Teressa is still expecting an apology from Teresa. She makes snide comments about the Giudice family falling apart.

You know what would be great? Another segment about Amber’s cancer. I can’t wait or recap this shit. Continue reading →

We are starting with a fake scene filmed in June. This time Kathy and Jacqueline will not be eating salad, or lunch, no dear readers, this time we get to watch them eat…..wait for it….Kathy’s cannoli! Because watching Jac, who did not film the entire season eat random food items is still more interesting than the new cast members. Let’s watch. Because sadly there is not enough for me to fast forward through. I think that must be why they are starting off with it. Bastards. Richard’s crude sex talk is also considered more interesting than the new cast.

Melissa and Amber are at a bar together. Melissa tries to explain why production has paired these two for this scripted dialogue by pointing out in her talking head that she does not hold Amber responsible for “douche Jim.” I think Jim may have been called a douchebag more than Juan Pablo from The Bachelor at this point. Is there a trophy he should try to retrieve? Melissa wants us all to see the Chanel bag that she is carrying. She props it on the bar and turns the sparkly logo toward the camera. Here’s the thing. Chanel is not seeking promotional fees from a real housewives show. So, this is either a fake (most likely) or it will be used as evidence in an upcoming bankruptcy filing. I am not into the whole handbag thing so I can’t make that assessment. Anyway, I think I would rather go back to Richard Wakile making cannoli jokes. I am starting to agree with production. There is really nothing about this scene to move the scripted plot forward. Melissa and Amber are fake storyline friends again.

Nicole arrives at the cannoli joke fest with Bobby in tow. He will fit in great with Richard and Chris. Nicole’s talking head is about Bobby treated her badly in Boca Raton. And here we go with the autism crap. Jac feels the need to tell a woman that she has known for five minutes about her kid’s milestones and that “autism is a spectrum.” I was proud that Jac pronounced her words correctly. Oh, and she wants Nicole to know she has had five miscarriages. You know, the normal conversations that two women have within two seconds of meeting each other. Nicole counters with the whole, “Oh by the way, people say my twin sister’s husband fucked out mother but that’s totally not true.” Then the group of women decide to call Victoria Gotti, “vagina” as any group of grown women would do. Jac wonders if she is going to get murdered. Sadly, I doubt it. Rich calls Teresa Giudice “Felonini.” Kathy and Jac and Rosie all gang up on Teresa Giudice and tell Nicole not trust her because she is a horrible person. Perhaps she is, but they just made themselves look equally bad. Continue reading →

It’s time to tune in to RHONJ and find out how long Jim Marchese lasts in Florida before (hopefully) being thrown out in his pointy little head.

We’re back in Florida and everyone is drunk. Bobby confronts Jim over the rumor he is putting out that Bobby has another girlfriend. Jim says he say pictures of her in red lingerie. Bobby storms off again ranting that Jim is a lying sack of shit. He needs to stay with his woman or bring her up to their room with him. No man should leave their spouse around Jim Marchese. Amber is drunk and smoking and crying. Amber is having a full on drunken meltdown because Jim ruined everything. Teressssa says that Jim is a classic example of Napoleon complex. The truth hurts so he starts attacking Rino saying the he tried to fuck Victoria Gotti, he slept with some rusty stripper… Teressa says,”Do you really think he fucked a stripper?” Jim says, “No, but I think he fucked your mom!” Awkward silence. Mouths drop. Joe Gorga tells Jim to go to bed. He minds him and giggles his way up the stairs. Amber goes up after him and Jim starts mistranslating a latin quote to explain his behavior that quote is historically tied to….wait for it…..wait for it….Napoleon Bonaparte. You can’t make this shit up.

Joe and Teresa are going to NYC to have an overnight date night. Teresa threatens Milania with boarding school. She should follow through on that it would be great for Milania. Continue reading →

Our favorite misogynist, Andy Cohen will deign to venture to New Jersey tomorrow to film the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion. It is one of the most stressful days in the life of a RHO of Anywhere, so why not film it 72 hours after Teresa gets sentenced to a 15 months in the penitentiary?

I love the above picture. Andy is practicing his “concerned” face. Teresa is practicing he serious face. And Juicy is all laid back and just happy to be there.

But that is not all just over 24 hours after Teresa and Joe were sentenced to 15 and 41 months respectively in the pokey, Andrew had them in the clubhouse to interview them for Watch What Happens Live on Monday night. On his twitter he mentioned he interviewed them for several hours. It is hard to tell whether we will get an hour show or just a half hour based on the current setting on my cable guide. You would think this would get at least a full hour. Continue reading →

I’m irritated as hell by that episode of RHONJ. I feel like I almost have to defend Jim Marchese. Sure he was being a little bitch but he sent Bobby into the bathroom to hide for the whole episode?

I may not say much about this episode. But I wanted to give you guys a place to comment.

Andy points that the new Wakile house has a turret as do most of the RHONJ homes. This seems to be a real housewives thing. Chateau Sheree’s is pretty much all turrets are not many rooms in the whole monstrosity that are not circular. And Kim Zolciak’s house is a turret fest as well. Clearly these people have never tried to decorate a round room. It’s a PITA. One round room is fine. 17 round rooms is a problem. See my walk thru of Chateau Sheree here.