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NPD – Fun With Archaic and Obscure Words: A through I

I was given a clever little gift by someone a couple of years ago. It’s called: Reading the OED: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages.

The book is by Ammon Shea, who actually sat down and READ the entire Oxford English Dictionary and wrote his own book about the more interesting archaic and obscure words he encountered. The book is fun, entertaining and, actually, educational.

An N would love this book, since it would provide him/her some truly “empowering” vocabulary. By “empowering” I mean that it would provide yet another fun way for the N to obfuscate (great word, huh?) and confuse his or her victim.

So I’m going to have fun pulling words from it that actually describe an NPD. Notice I don’t say someone who has NPD. An N is their disorder, hence, “an NPD.”

This post contains the letters A through I. I will continue at a later date with J.

Enjoy! Have fun! Add these words to your vocabulary. Odds are good your N hasn’t heard of them.

A

Abluvion: Substance or things that are washed away. Gosh, this could be synonymous with discarding. Imagine that.

Addubitation: A suggestion of doubt. Oh my. Does anyone know an N who engages in addubitation? I do!

Aerumnous:Full of trouble. Need I explain?

Assy:Asinine. Um – yeah, I think it fits.

Astorgy:A lack of natural affection. GASP! Really??? My N is full of astorgy. How about yours?

B

Backfriend:A fake friend; a secret enemy. Well, Ns are always fake and never friends, but they’re only secret enemies until we figure them out. bwahahahahaha!

Bayard:A person armed with the self-confidence of ignorance. Well golly gosh gee whiz! Slap your N’s face and call him a Bayard!

Beadledom:The sense of self-importance and officiousness. How absolutely delicious!

Expalpate: To get something through flattery. My goodness! Did your N engage in sincere-sounding expalpation?

F

Fedity: Vile or repuslive practices. What a handy word to describe an Ns behavior!

Frauendienst: An exaggerated sense of chivalry toward women. Most male Ns will exhibit frauendienst when they first meet a woman they think can be a good mirror.

G

Hmm. I didn’t find any under G.

H

Hansardize: To show that a person has previously expressed opinions differing from the ones he or she now holds. My N attempted to hansardize me all the time. He wasn’t successful, which is why I’m such a broken little mirror. Snort.

Heterodogmatize: To have an opinion different from the one generally held. My N was so full of heterodogmatization that his eyes were brown (and he had blue eyes!) In general, it means one is WRONG.

I

Idiorepulsive: Self-repelling. Well, if we think about what an N truly is, and what we know about how an N truly feels about him or herself, I think this is apt.

Immutual: Not mutual. Any interaction you have with an N will be immutual with regard to equality.

Infelicitate: to cause to be unhappy. The irony of this word is that it makes me very happy. I love it. My N, however, engaged in this practice daily.

Inspirado:a person who thinks himself inspired. Note from the author: “If someone is describing you with a noun that ends in -o, chances are, they are not paying you a compliment.” My N is an inspirado.