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HERE’S HOW THINGS ARE GOING TO GO FROM HERE ON OUT
1. YOU WILL ADDRESS ME SIDEWAYS. I EXPECT YOU TO SAY HI TO ME SIDEWAYS. I EXPECT YOU TO BAKE ME A CAKE SIDEWAYS. I EXPECT YOU TO RESPECT ME SIDEWAYS, GOT IT?
2. ONLY CUCUMBER FLAVOURED DEODORANT IS PERMISSIBLE FROM NOW ON. ANY OTHER SMELL IS PUTRID AND PUNISHABLE BY DEATH. ITS EITHER THAT OR MY NOSE BARKS AT YOU, GOT THAT?
3.
4. YELLOW IS DISGUSTING.
5. SERIOUSLY, NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD WEAR YELLOW.
6. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
On a real note though, I just wanted to say thanks for sticking with me for so long. It was around this time of last year that my channel started to gain traction and I am so thankful for this opportunity. As for posting videos goes, I am going to try to get my videos up every Tuesday at 5 PM, but I am not going to make any promises. Also, I am going to be pretty inactive on twitter and instagram from this point forward cause I want to focus on my studies as much as possible (but it’s not like I was that active on there to begin with lol).
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Hep Cats by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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With love,
Jenny Cravitz

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Are the Twitter Stans gone? Yes? Ok good.
Hello my dudes. Here is a list of celebrities that look alike. It confuses the heck out of me every single time I see one or both of them.
- Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicaprio. Probably my biggest goof of all time. No one can convince me that they are not the same person. I still don’t know who plays Jason Bourne. Are they related? Do they have the same parents? I can’t tell and never have been able to tell.
- Actually, adding to the previous point, if you throw Mark Wahlburg into the mix, then it’s really over for me.
- Don’t even get me started on Liam and Chris Hemsworth ( I guess I have a pass though because they are siblings after all). Which one was married to Miley Cyrus? I still can’t tell. Also, the fact that they have the most generic white people names doesn’t help me.
- John Krasinski and Armie Hammer. Not much to say for this one except that Armie Hammer is REALLY hot.
- Bradley Cooper, Matthew Mcchonaughey and Andrew Lincoln could all be triplets from another dimension.
- Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman. How the heck did genetics make that?
- Jennifer Lawrence, Bella Hadid and Gigi Hadid. They are all the same person and you cannot tell me otherwise.
- Ok, just stick with me on this one: Lily Collins and Timothy Chalamet could be siblings. I’m probably the only person who has ever thought of this atrocity but that is not to say it does not plague me. And yes, I thought that was Timothy Chalamet in the Priscilla Presley gown at the Met Gala 2019.
- U2 and INXS have been the same band for me since I can remember.
Ok that’s it! I hope you have a nice day and enjoy the sunflowers! Tootles!
P.S. I'm pretty sure that many of you know who Claire Wineland is. I came across her documentary earlier today and I wanted to recommend it to all of you. She is an incredibly inspirational figure and the video made me ugly cry for a good 10 minutes. Here is a link: bgzone.info/view/amZxdE9Ud1VjS0U.html
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With love,
Jerry Ceinfeld

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Hey dudes, its 11 PM when I am writing this so I'm just going to keep this short and sweet. I wanted to thank Brad, Eric and Joel for making this makeover possible and painting my face (and hair) to the gods. I will try to post next Tuesday and stay more diligent with my uploading schedule from here on out but I am not going to make many promises. Love you guys the most and I will see you in the next one.
Brad's channel: bgzone.info/user/oc_XJPj6YLMQDWtPDQcDtA.html
Brad's instagram:
instagram.com/bradmondonyc/?hl=en
Eric's instagram:
instagram.com/ericmondo_/
Joel's instagram:
instagram.com/makeupbyjoel/
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With love,
Jemi Covato

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To bleach or not to bleach, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The yellows and whites of outrageous blondness,
Or to take a comb against a head of hair
And by opposing end them. To bleach-to dye,
No more; and by a bleach to say we end
The brunette and the thousand follicles
That hair is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be styled. To dye, to bleach ;
To bleach, perchance to tone-ay, there's the rub:
For in that bleach of death what breakage may come,
When we have washed off this conditioner,
Must give us pause-there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long hair.
For who would bear the whips and burns of peroxide,
Th'hairdresser's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The burns of applied bleach, the toner's delay,
The insolence of box dye, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'blondness takes,
When he himself might his mane of hair make
With a 30 volume developer?
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With love,
Janet Cackson

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I don’t understand why I didn’t know it wasn’t going to go to get the one thing you could do to do this for a second time of this day and I was really excited about it I was wondering if I had a good day and I have to do it a few days before I was even in a good time of my life to get the better of it was a bit more fun than I do and I am not a good friend and a woman and she had her hand 🖐 with a little time to start a day of work with that my mother was in the hospital with the three other people who were not going on their way to work now I have a few more minutes of the week and a lot more than I did not get the money to go for the first time of this time I had heard the same story and the story is so good I just finished the first one ☝️ is the last thing you want me now I have a few friends that have been in the past the two months ago.
(If your wondering what the heck that was, I just pressed the autofill word bar randomly and that happened. Was I dying of laughter while I was writing it? Of course. I hope you died too. WAIT-)
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With love,
Jabby lee Ciller

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The one thing I learned from this trip to Anaheim was how much of a monopoly Jojo Siwa has on glitter clothing. If there was a small child anywhere in vidcon, she had her hair in a bow and was wearing the sparkliest jacket you could imagine (all from Jojo Siwa's line of loud clothing, of course). I mean, good for her, but isn't it terrifying that there are currently 44 million of her bows out in the wild at the moment? That's insane. She can literally create an army of 5 year olds in glitter uniform. What can I say; the end is near my dudes.
I mean, I have nothing against the kid; she can keep doing what she's doing. What she has to stop doing though is pretending to be some sick hybrid of Elton John and Freddie Mercury during her live performances:
- No.
- Never.
- Stop it.
- It smells bad.
I'm sorry Jojo, but you are not, have never, and never will be either of those singers. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Beeswax email: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
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With love,
Jamila Cabello

Hello my dudes what’s up how’s everybody doing? I have a couple things to say.
1. This is my 69th video so everybody give themselves 69 pats on the back. I wanted to thank you guys for getting me here. To my camera: you’re a real one. To imovie: this is all your fault. So claps all around guys!
2. I wanted to thank you guys for the generally positive reaction on my last video. It’s great that I can be honest and you guys will still listen. Also, to stan twitter: thanks for getting butthurt over my comments and proving my point.
3. I have to make a note about my PO box. I will be closing it in two weeks because I will be travelling a lot in August (more on that later) and then I’m off to University so I won’t be able to respond to those who send me stuff. So, if you want to send me something, now’s your chance! If you did send me something over the past few months, I just wrote 100 letters to 100 random people who provided a return address so check your mailbox!
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With love,
Jeorge Cichael

Here are some other things I learned this year on youtube but forgot to mention in the video:
1. People will get offended if you so much as breath in their direction
2. Filming on a phone is the bane of my existence
3. The beauty community is the bane of my existence
4. iMovie is the bane of my existence (but I use it anyways)
5. No matter how good you think you are, your first videos are always bad...I'm bAD, I'M REALLY REALLY BAD- sorry, I just couldn't stop myself. Actually, a video of Billie Eilish covering that song popped into my recommended the other day and all I have to say is if you think the cover was better than the original: congratulations, you have one brain cell.
Anyways lads, that's it. That's the whole video. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next week.
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With love,
Jolly Carton

A coping mechanism I have for when the going gets tough is to hope and pray that a zombie apocalypse is coming in the near future so that I don't have to deal with this BS anymore. I blame it on:
1. I have watched one too many seasons of the walking dead.
2. Every young adult fiction novel written nowadays is about the same cliché dystopian city in absolute ruins.
No but seriously dudes, how dope would it be to run around a city and loot everything in sight? I mean, minus the zombies and questionable people, I THINK THAT SOUNDS PRETTY COOL. Actually, what the heck am I saying. I'm still scared of spiders. I hate the dark. I would probably survive for .7 seconds before a zombie bites my head off.
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With love,
Janiel Ceemstar

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Hi, and welcome to episode 2 of John Cena ranting about Dance Moms. Todays topic: season 8. What do I think about it? All I have to say is that I miss the old team. I want Brooke, Paige, Chloe, Nia, Maddie and Mackenzie to hop in a time machine to relive the glory days and broadcast their sufferings to the world so that we can see it too. I mean lets be honest here, the new team is TOO talented; they’re all micro-professionals and it’s not that entertaining anymore. I like Brady though. He’s a cool dude. Him and his mother can stay. Savannah too. Did you see her in that Metamorphosis solo? When she did that attitude pirouette straight into the back undercut, I swear my brain was transported to another dimension. I sat there for a good ten minutes just rewatching it and asking myself: what physics did she invent to be able to pull that off? I also may or may not have attempted to do it only to get a big ugly bruise on my knee, but you’ll never know if that actually happened. Ok, I’m being too positive here. I didn’t like season 8 that much. Why? Gianina:
She needs to leave.
There’s the door. Walk out with your annoying mom and MAKE SURE the door hits you on the butt. She talks too much! WAY TOO MUCH!!! When I was her age, I didn’t know what talking was. I just sat there with my “too-big” glasses and did my homework. I was a silent sufferer. But Gianina - no, she is the loudest sufferer out there. And don’t even get me started on Stacey. What the heck happened to that woman. It’s almost like she quit her job as a psychologist to become a patient: THE WOMAN NEEDS THERAPY. Ok, that was a bit callous and uncalled for, wasn’t it? I hope they accept my insincerest of apologies.
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With love,
Jaclyn Cosmetics

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Can someone explain to me why everyone is suddenly overly hyped about basketball in Canada? What's happening? Who's playing who? I'm so confused. Every time I turn on the TV, there is some rhetoric about "playoffs" and "Warriors", and I am beyond lost! What do you mean, "Warriors"? That sounds extremely violent, and I don't like it. In fact, what is basketball? What is a ball? Is it round? Does it smell like rubber? is it an orange? Can I dice it? My head is a whirlwind of questions and I seem to have lost my bearings. I need a compass for the mess in my head.
Note: I keep on forgetting to do this: The sweater I am wearing in this video was graciously sent to me by the company "Deep End". I just wanted to thank them for the gift because the sweaters are very nice (even my dad liked them). If you want one too, here is a link to the company: dpnd.co
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With love,
Janderson Cooper

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It seems that a massive race of "John Cenators" have tragically died after their curiosity got the best of them. A suspect by the name of "Joana Ceddia" is wanted but she is unable to be found by authorities. A team led by Dog "The Bounty Hunter" Chapman is on the lookout for the suspect. Ceddia was last seen wearing Emma Chamberlain's clothing line, carrying a backpack with a bicycle inside and holding a thicc avocado tortilla. She is notorious for torturing her victims with wax strips. Ceddia is considered armed and dangerous with a wide selection of nerf guns. Please leave a tip if you have any information on the suspect.
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Batty McFaddin - Silent Film Light by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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With love,
Jillary Clinton

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What if it was Christmas all year round? Like, we just constantly had decorations up? That tree in Times Square can stay up forever and no one would complain. The radio stations would play Christmas remixes of all the pop songs. I feel like that would solve all our world issues. We don’t even have to give out presents because, lets be honest, we are very cheap and that would get quite expensive. Oh, what’s that? You want it to be halloween all year round? Why don’t you go jump in a hole and set it on fire. I can’t even look at you. Halloween is hands down the WORST time of the year. Low-key, I’m pretty sure the government uses halloween to distract us (the sheep) from Christmas. Why? Because it’s expensive, and everyone loves it so much that we wouldn’t mind making it a yeAR ROUND THING-OH MY GOD I HAVE JUST UNCOVERED A MASSIVE SCHEME WHAT IS THIS WHY AREN’T MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS I NEED AN AVOCADO TORTILL-
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With love,
Joprah Cinfrey

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First off: my apologies for such a “basic” video. Actually, I’m not sorry. Just you wait: I’m going to run off and morph into a dote girl and you can’t say anything about it.
Secondly: cAN WE TALK ABOUT DANCE MOMS FOR A SECOND. I have never met a more addictive show in my life. It truly is something from another dimension. And mind you, I didn’t grow up watching the show; nay - I became fluent in Abby Lee Miller’s shenanigans all through the clips on youtube. I will never get over how Kelly freaking clawed Abby after she brought in Kalani. What on earth was that. I have too many questions. Oh, what’s that? Did someone say Cathy and the rotten apples? She looks like a whole broomstick. I have never seen a 75 year old toddler, but I imagine Cathy is the embodiment of that figure. The moral of the story is: get your arms up after your aerials and make sure you sew in that headpiece.
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With love,
Jalbert Ceinstein

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(Friendly reminder that this is just a pre-order, so shipping will begin mid-May)
hI,
My name is burt. I like to eat pies. Do you have pies? Pies are really good. You want to know why? Because pies are cIRcuLAR. Yes, the shape does influence the taste, you imbecile- my apologies, I did not mean to get my panties in a knot. Back to pies. Apple pie is my favourite, but it doesn’t taste so good. I like them because they are red on the inside. My favourite pie flavour-wise would have to be apricot pie. The best way I could describe the taste would be wet towel in sugar water. I can really taste the citric acid. Citric acid is good for the mind, body, soul and foot. But don’t take it from me, take it from your daughter. I heard she had an *affair* with your boss. Why was that relevant? Oh because she told me to back off. No, I am not trying to have an affair with your boss- ExcUSE yOU, How do you even muster the audacity to make such bogus claims? You’re a whole butt cheek on a stick, did you know that? Eat a duck, you insolent cow.
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With love,
Jillie Ceilish

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This is the instagram of the girl who drew up the design. Her name is Noor Tariq and I cannot thank her enough for letting me use the design: instagram.com/pablo_picceddia/
Anyways, with that out the way, I have a story to tell all of you. There was a comment on my last video that said, and I quote:
“This girl has a felony and went to prison for involuntary man slaughter after drinking and driving and rear ending a mini van killing a mother look it up if you don’t believe me”
Now let’s dive into this comment. There are just so many layers here to unpack and frankly, I have no idea where to begin.
1. Do I have a felony AND a charge for involuntary manslaughter? Because if so, I want to know what this felony was. Did I illegally download Taylor Swift songs? Or did I jay walk while dressed as a chicken because, after all, I just wanted to get to the other side?
2. Last time I checked, I don’t have the faintest idea about how to drive. I haven’t even started studying for the test. How do you turn on a car? 🚘. I put that emoji there because it was cute. It was cute, wasn’t it? You’re welcome.
3. For some reason, when I read this comment, all I can think about is that scene in Riverdale where Archie is driving like an absolute madlad through the streets of Riverdale because his father has just been shot. That’s the one scene I remember from Riverdale. I stopped watching after the second episode of season 2. I was developing terminal stupidity from watching that trash.
I mean, there is obviously the possibility that I did in fact get behind the wheel of a car, wreak havoc, and have no recollection whatsoever of the event. Maybe I have undiagnosed memory loss of every term. Maybe I am a felon. Maybe I AM A SMOOTH CRIMINAL.
Hee hee.
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With love,
Jim Cardashian

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Hello there. This is your captain speaking. Before we land, I need to tell you all about why this video was obnoxiously late this week. I finished filming Sunday morning, and then I said:
“Great! Everything will be perfect and I will have the entirety of Sunday to edit, study for Calculus and finish my Chemistry homework.”
That’s funny.
Because that’s exactly what didn’t happen.
Well, for starters, I neither studied for Calculus nor finished Chemistry. The reason? Because my laptop was being a turtle and taking forever to import all the footage, which then lead it to be extremely slow during the editing process. All of this came to a climax Monday at 2 AM when my computer:
1. Screamed
2. Shut off
3. Told me its storage was full
Now mind you, I edit on a MacBook Air that has only 250 GB of storage, so I kind of had it coming. However, I was determined to make it work. I purged my computer; I did some spring cleaning and deleted all the useless garbage on it except for the video footage.
It still wasn’t enough space.
So what did I do now?
I C R I E D
And then I went to the apple store the next morning with m parents and bought a computer with a phat amount of storage.
Anyways, that’s all and I hope you enjoyed the video. Actually, you are obligated to have enjoyed it because it was a pain in the butt to edit.
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With love,
Jariana Crande

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Hey guys,
Sorry that this video is not exactly what I normally post. This topic has been weighing on my mind for the longest time now and I just really wanted to make a video about it and express my opinion on school, dropping out, etc. Thanks for bearing with me this week.
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With love,
John Cravolta

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Oh my god I haTE Joana Ceddia. tHAT child is so annoying and probably has the IQ OF A hamsTER. wHO Raised that thing? It smells. Bad. John Ceddia should be cAStrated. No! She should be CHEMICALLY castrated. We can’t be letting Joella pass on those faulty genes into the pool. She will start a genetic disorder. 20 years down the line, doctors will call it the “José disease”. What a disgrace. I mean, come on sheeple!! Are you really that stUPID? Are your brains the size of a peanut? An orangutan could comprehend this. Your just morally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, atmospherically and satanically incompetent and ignorant. Bow down before me, morons.
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With love,
Justin Crudeau

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Oh, I’m sorry. You said you wanted lobster guts- wait, its you! No, you are NOT allowed in my store again. Not after what you did last time. Why? Because I don’t want to. You have been stopped. Leave. Sir…sir, why do you have your flashlight out? Is that a tac light? I heard it’s made from air-craft Grade aluminum and can withstand extremes of temperatures, from freezing to boiling. It’s water-proof and shock resistant.
Hi, I’m Nick Bolton, and you’re watching the Disney channel.
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With love,
Jichael Cackson

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My name is Bella Thorne and this is the story of the time I found out I had dyslexia. I remember when I started first grade. Right away, it was awful because I couldn't read as well as the other kids. My brain mixed up letters like "b" and "d" and "m" and "w". Dyslexia is different for EVERYONE who has it. For me, it just made it harder to read or write, so I started working REALLY hard on how to read better. My family helped me by making me read everything, from menus to cereal boxes to road signs. Today, I read a year above my grade level, and I learned to face my problems, not run away from them. Dyslexia makes things hard for me, not impossible.
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With love,
Jonald Crump

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Imagine you are in your kitchen. You want to get a glass of water, so you grab a cup, and open your freezer. You take out your ice tray, and dump a few pieces of ice intro your cup, but a singular piece of ice falls over the side of your cup and plugs to the floor. Since there was no one else in the kitchen, you kick the piece of ice under the freezer and get on with your life.
But what happened to that piece of ice?
You may think it melted and evaporated, but it indeed did not. That ice cube started a cult sub-freezer. Once it was able to create a portal to another dimension, it found more of its kind and is currently planning an attack. But don’t tell them I told you.
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With love,
Jeorge Clooney

Hello my dudes,
I would just like to apologize for how god awful this video is. I didn’t really have much time this weekend because the chemistry and calculus gods came together and decided to bestow upon me two tests this week, so I didn’t have much time to put this together. Regardless, I hope this video buttered your nuggets (to some degree) and I hope you forgive me for this terrible schedule.
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With love,
Jelly Clarkson

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I once almost choked to death while eating food. I did my own research and discovered that I am not alone. Thousands of people choke every year while eating, and hundreds of those people die. That's why I don't feed my kids. It's dangerous. Now, plenty of people will point out that food supposedly "prevents starvation," and that might be true, but it is not fair to completely ignore all the dangers food poses, like choking, allergies, gingivitis and garlic breath. I'm just saying, do your research and decide what you think is best for your kids. If you choose to give your kids potentially deadly food, that's your problem, but as a parent, I feel as if the government has no right to force me to feed my kids.
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With love,
Jarly Rae Cepsen

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I'm sorry I didn't want your stinky eggs. You could have left a letter telling me it was a gift. Because of your whimsical ways, the devil called and wants your eggs back. But I will confess, my yelp review is not going to be very pleasant should I not get my pacifier. I WANT MY PACIFIER, AND I WANT IT NOW!!! I swear, if I don't get my pacifier, my hummus and I will never order from your silly business ever again!
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With love,
Jel Chapo

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You buffoon. You absolutely incompetent human being. The eggs were a complementary gift, but you have dishonored them. You don’t deserve the eggs. You cant even comprehend the power they hold within. As for your silly pacifier, its on its way from the deepest pits of the underworld as we speak. I will only have the best for my customers and your IMPATIENCE has shattered my standards. When the shipment arrives, i will DESTROY your silly pacifier. Do you understand the extent of this situation? That pacifier was hand crafted by the devil himself, and your insolence has forced me to destroy it. Get out of my store this very instant. I hope you choke and die on your spoonful of hummus.
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With love,
J.C Penney

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Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super strong waterproof tape that can instantly patch, bond, seal and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thicc adhesive virtually wields itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape's powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can fix leaks in pools and spas without having to drain them! Flex Tape is super strong, and once its on,
It'S On tiGHt!
And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF AND REPAIRED IT WITH ONLY FLEX TAPE!!! Not only does Flex Tape's powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completely dry! *yee doggy!* Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape.
To vote for the Shorty awards: Go to this link and then, under "influencers", select youtube comedian. I should be there! shortyawards.com/#vote
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Jalvin Carris

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Hey you! Ma'am! Ma'am I have to ask you: Where can I meet with the manager of this enclosure? Where is that son of a gun? I ordered a pacifier from him the other day and for some reason, I got a carton of eggs in the mail. What service is this? What business do you thing you guys are running? I paid my good, hard earned money for that stupid thing and this is how you repay me? I don't even have a child. I bought that pacifier to clog a hole in the wall of my washroom. It's located right in front of the toilet and for some reason, water just randomly jets out of it. I swear, I will be having explosive diarrhea when a vat of polar cold water will just shoot me in the face. I got whip lash the last time that happened, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU CAN COME AND PLAY IN MY TOWN, HUH? YOU THINK A CARTON OF EGGS WILL SUFFICE MY NEEDS? WELL YOU WERE WRONG. YOU COULDN'T BE MORE INCOMPETENT. Go, explain yourself. I have a plate of warm hummus just waiting for me when I get home. I don't even dip that shizzle. I eat spoonfuls of it. I vacuum it up. The process is so quick that one second, I will be looking at that big, shmexy plate and then the next, IT WILL BE IN MY GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT, YOU NUT. I WANT MY PACIFIEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!1!!!!!111!!!!!!
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Jindy Crawford

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HI
Lightning McQueen, star of the 2006 blockbuster film “Cars”, is a statutory r*pist. In the film, Lightning meets and falls in love with a car named Sally Carrera, a Porsche 911. This makes Sally only 4 years old during the film (which takes place in 2006). Lightning, on the other hand, is a stock car and while his age isn’t expressly given, we know that an average stock car can race for 20 to 30 years. Because Lightning is the best, we can assume that he is 30 years old at the end of “Cars 3”, which takes place in 2017, 11 years after “Cars”. This would make Lightning 19 years old when he met Sally. As the majority of the films take place in the United States, which has the age of consent set at 17 years old, every time Lightning sticks his engine shaft in Sally’s exhaust pipe, he is committing statutory r*pe.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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Jarly Rae Cepsen

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Bruno Mars had a grenade, and Tiao Cruz had dynamite, so they both threw it at Katy Perry who exploded like a firework. The bang was so loud that the Black Eyed Peas forgot the time, while Rihanna got memory loss, prompting her to fervently ask: “What’s my name?”. On the other hand, Willow Smith began to whip her hair, which started a Far East movement. They then crashed their G6 into a club and stopped party rocking. Luckily for Nelly, it was all just a dream.
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With love,
Jessica Chastain

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More than 100 stealth egg attacks baffle one Euclid homeowner and police (photos and video) EUCLID, Ohio -- An 85-year-old Euclid man’s home has become the target of mysterious egging attacks that began in March 2014 and haven’t stopped. The continuous onslaught of eggs have baffled police, neighbours and local government officials who have tried and failed to identify the source of the attacks that have ruined the man’s home and kept his family on edge. “The accuracy is phenomenal” Albert Clemens Sr. said. “Almost every time it’s nice weather, they launch five or six eggs, and they almost invariably hit the front door.” Clemens’ green two-storey house sits on the corner of Wilmore Avenue and East 210th street. He and his wife bought the home as newlyweds about 60 years ago. Though his wife has since passed away, Clemens still lives there with his 49 year old daughter and 51 year old son. The house has been pelted with eggs several times a week -- sometimes more than once a day -- for the past 5 years. The attacks always happen after dark and last around 10 minutes each. The family has been awoken as early as 2 AM by what sounds like the crack of a gunshot against the aluminum siding of the front door. Clemens and the police believe the eggs are being launched from a block or two away. The siding on the front of Clemens’ home is destroyed and splattered with dried egg residue that stripped off the paint. Other than a few rogue eggs that hit nearby homes, no other neighbours have been targeted. “Somebody is deeply, deeply angry at somebody in that household for some reason” Euclid lt. Mitch Houser said. Winter offered a short respite for the family, as the egging became less frequent during the cold weather. But both Clemens and police anticipate the attacks to pick back up as the snow and ice thaw. This is an unsolved mystery Euclid police have not taken the investigation lightly. They have spent a year doing undercover stakeouts, canvassing the neighbourhood and even sending eggshells for testing. The department’s entire community policing unit was dedicated to tracking down the Eggers at one point.
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With love,
Jenedict Cumberbatch

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Happy 2019 guys!
Can I just say the number “2019” sounds strange. For some reason, all I can think about when I hear the number 2019 is the bitter taste of cardboard. Or the smells of a spiky porcupine. You choose.
In other news, my 2019 is off to a S T U P E N D O U S start. The gun has started and I am off sprinting; space is contracting and time is dilating as I travel closer and closer to the speed of light. Guess what I was doing in the wee hours of 2019? I was editing this video. And guess what happened? My laptop crashed and refused to turn on for a solid 50 minutes - this was all at 1:30 in the morning, mind you. So, I did what any sensible human being would have done: I bawled my eyes out to Gotye’s “Somebody that I used to know” (that song is still a bop - NAY! A KNEE SLAPPER, and you can fight me on that one). Wow, it’s only been 8 hours since 2019 began and I have already cried out my tear ducts.
Flipping the page once more, I would like to give you my New Years resolutions. You know those things people swear they will accomplish at the beginning of every year but end up forgetting about by February? WELL YEET! I WANTED TO MAKE MY OWN THIS YEAR! SO HERE THEY ARE:
1. Fix my pooping schedule. I have had digestive problems since I was 10 years old, and I still suffer from those issues. And the thing is, I get the urge to go at completely inconvenient times. For instance, in the middle of a cross country race, I will be happily running when my intestines suddenly shriek at the top of their lungs “WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TIME TO POOP” and I am forced to deal with this intestinal immaturity. Do you think I chose this life? No, the poopy life chose me.
2. Hate lentils less. At the moment, they taste like ass. We have a long way to go, chief.
3. Learn archery. The apocalypse is looming and I must be prepared.
4. Actually understand politics. What the heck is a “subpoena”? That is way too many vowels in one word.
Anyways! That’s all I have to say and I hope you enjoyed this video. This is probably the video I put the most effort into so far so I’m actually kind of proud of it. Hope you enjoyed it too!
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With love,
Jiley Cyrus

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Karen, please let me see my beautiful children again. The children we raised with such love and care. What happened to that? I don't understand...What is it you wanted in the first place? Was it really love? Please, I don't know what's happening them. Have they eaten their Brussel sprouts? Are they scared of me? Have you spread lies about me? No...no...I still believe you cherish our good times. We both learnt our lessons several times. It's okay to make mistakes...And yes... I know I almost got our children...killed, BUT KAREN! I've learnt from that! No longer am I the man that steals our children's lollipops and breaks them in half - stick and everything- and hides them in my slimy back pocket for later. I'm sorry I disappointed you all those years back. My only wish is to see my child's faces... Karen, can you please do that for me? Karen? I'm so sorry about the car crash all those years ago... Karen....please...
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With love,
Jessica Cimpson

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T
Th
The
The Fitness Gram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal: *bodeboop*. A single lap should be completed every time you hear this sound: *ding*. Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready...START!
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With love,
Johnny Cash

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What the heck did you just freaking say about me, you little nut? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing but another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my freaking words. You think you can get away with saying that shizzle to me over the InTErNet? Think again, mother trucker. As we speak, I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're dead kiddo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 different ways, and that's just with my bare hands alone. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable buttocks off the face of this godforsaken continent, you little stinker. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fudging tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you are paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poop fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're freaking dead, kiddo.
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Shoutout of the week: Today, I would like to say thanks to the first person who sent me a P.O. box gift. Her name is @jmvople123 on instagram and she sent me some lovely iPhone lenses. I particularly love the fisheye one because it fulfills my squid fantasies. Anyways, I just thought it was very sweet and I felt very flattered. Once again, thank you Jackie!
Love you all,
John Crasinski

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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and had accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with the “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be droped from vords kontaining “ou”. After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensible riten styl.
Zer vil be no more trubl or difikultis and evrirun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a United Urop vil finaly kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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PO Box: Now closed
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Love you all,
Joan Crawford

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I goofed.
I'm sorry this video is so bad. I really thought I could be the next female pewdiepie but I guess not, eh? Anyways, sorry this is what you are getting from me this weekend. I really wanted to give you guys some form of content and this was the only thing I had to offer: me screaming and running around for 10 minutes on Minecraft. I promise to give you guys a better video next week.
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Love you more that eleven loves her eggos,
Joan Cusak

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Does pitbull bark? Is it the snappy sound of a pre-pubescent chihuahua or is it the low, earth rumbling sound of a dobermann? AND THEN, it begs the question: does he sniff his own butt? or is he more likened to the idea of smelling other dogs' anuses? yeesh, how deep does the pitbull hole go?! It takes many a men to figure that one out.
Great, now I can't stop thinking about that vine where that strange kid goes "On all levels except physical, I am a wolf" and then proceeds to give a scarily accurate bark that could only have come from the vocal cords of a canine.
The biggity boys and the diggity dogs have lots of questions to answer.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed the video. I will see you on the flip side. Stay cool my dudes.
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lots of love,
Julius Caeser

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what's up, my yeet yoinkers!
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest,
to take his Kanye rest. He wakes up, feeling his Kanye Best.
Then, he'll get Kanye dressed in his Kanye vest to go on a Kanye quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye blessed then to a hotel room to be a Kanye guest, then to school to take his Kanye test! He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye crest? His neighbour stole it, what a Kanye pest!
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With love,
Jim Carrey

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Oof.
Almost forgot to write a description for this video.
My mom decided to get me new curtains, and by that I mean a used bed sheet. I literally have a stinky, ripped up bed sheet as my curtains at the moment. I am sorry I have upset the gods of aestheticness. Actually, now that I think about it, it might actually be very aesthetic? Like the rips and everything could easily be something Urban Outfitters might use in their over priced sweaters?
I got three hours of sleep last night and I feel delirious.
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I love you all too much to handle,
James Corden

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
I once lived a healthy life.
I was able to speak in complete sentences and provide introspective and thoughtful replies.
But then I watched a vine. One, doomed vine.
AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SAYING YEET.
I can't stop saying it. I can't. It comes after every expression, action, phrase. I've answered math questions with this word: y=mx+yeet. After opening any door, I whisper under my breath the cursed word: yeet.
It's become an obsession. I can't stop fudging saying yeet.
Instagoof: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
Twitter: twitter.com/tweet_joana
Email: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
Cameo: www.cameo.com/ewww_its_joana
Current sub count: 1, 245, 044
Please help my addiction,
Johanna cena

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
I am just going to cut right to the chase.
What was William Steig thinking when he wrote Shrek? How did he come up with that green angel? Were there drugs involved? I have a buttload of questions.
Now that that is out of the way, here is some more cancer. If you are wondering where I get these ear splitting flute covers that often make an appearance in my videos, here is the channel: bgzone.info/user/HMmLi8z1HbyhTEvfBgXpyg.html
Definitely go subscribe to this guy because honestly, he is doing gods work.
Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this weeks episode of How I Met Your Mother: The divorce special. I will see you in the next one.
Instant ramen: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
Tweedle dee and tweedle dum: twitter.com/tweet_joana
emaciated emus: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
current sub count: 1, 196, 831
Love you more than any cucumber I have ever eaten,
Jesus Christ

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
I think I should come out with a confession.
Most of you saw this coming.
This has been a rumour for weeks. Like the wind whispering past the oak trees in the green, misty forest.
Yes, I bought all my subscribers.
If there are comments on this video, it is because there is a bug in the system that made you self aware AND I AM NOT OKAY WITH THAT. I WILL BE CALLING THE WEED SHORTLY.
Just kidding. Honestly, if you think I am buying subscribers, you can suck my RIGHT toe sideways at a 13 degree angle.
Instagram: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
twitter: twitter.com/tweet_joana
email: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
cameo: apparently some of you will pay me to give you videos of me screaming for 3 hours non stop, so I will be figuring out how this new website works asap.
Sub count: 1, 050, 101
And once again, you guys are the best and I love you so much. This has truly been a blessing and I hope I can still do this for years to come. Love you all,
jojo cediwa

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
Just a quick little update on the case of the missing cotton balls. Turns out it was MICE (or rats, whichever one you prefer). I guess Ratatouille was fed up with his life behind walls so he decided to venture out in the middle of the night and feast on my little blue creations. Want to know how we found out? Well, my Dad was typing away on his little laptop when he hears what sounds like a running ball of fur and, lo and behold, there it is: The reincarnation of Ratatouille himself. He fished for his chancla but unfortunately, one little boi is faster than one 56 year old boi, and the mouse yeeted himself out of there! All that was left was the pile of blue cotton balls that this critter once called home. Now the house is full of mouse traps and I have to hold on to my toes through the fear of sudden amputation.
That was my little anecdote.
Love you all and see you in the next one
Current sub count: 946,695 (I IS CRYING IN THE CLUB RIGHT NOW)
IGERS: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
TWIGGERS: twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=joana%20ceddia&src=typd
EMAGERS: ceddiajoana@gmail.com

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
My house has a house centipede infestation. I can't even sit on the toilet without the fear of a centipede falling straight from the ceiling and right onto my bare ass. My mom read somewhere that to get rid of these rascals, you have to spray the whole house with tea tree oil. So she did that, and now my room has the nauseating scent of eucalyptus. Like seriously, MOM, when I was birthed, I did not expect to be living in this off-brand Koala environment! Hesus khrist! I can't deal with this! Someone call the weed!
Anyways, hope you enjoyed the vid.
Current Sub Count: 798,391 (heuh?)
Igstanagram- instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
twigger- twitter.com
emale- ceddiajoana@gmail.com

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
Hello everybody,
My name is Shrek and I live in the swamp! My favorite pass times include being green, eating flies, and getting slightly wild with my wife fiona. Subscribe for more swampy tutorials and smelly videos.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now, wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire, how about yours?
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
All that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show, on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go (go!)
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Anyways, Love you guys so much and stay shreky
Don't click this: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
Why are you here: twitter.com/tweet_joana
Never email me: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
Current sub count: 622,207 (god is looking down on me at this very moment thinking "what have I created")

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hello there friends,
Does anyone else remember toopy and binoo? Cause I do and honey, I am NEVER letting that TV show go. Who thought of it? How did they come up with the idea? And WHY DOES BINOO NEVER TALK? I'M SORRY BUT THESE ARE QUESTIONS WORTH ANSWERING. SHANE DAWSON IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE MAKE A CONSPIRACY VIDEO ABOUT HOW BINOO LOST HIS VOICE AND WHERE IT WENT. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY SHOW AND TELL PRESENTATION.
Don't click this: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
This might be a virus: twitter.com/tweet_joana?lang=en
Email me if you are wearing a business suit: ceddiajoana@gmail.com
current sub count: 355,976 (wHAt tO HecK)

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Whats up beech
YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING CRAZY AND AMAZING AND SUPER SKINNY BUT ALSO DUMB THIC AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE YOU TO PLUTO AND BACK YALL ARE INSANE I CANT EVEN WHET IS HAPPENING ANYMORE I LUV YOU
whew
now that that's out of the way
here is what happens when you cave under peer pressure: instagram.com/ewww_its_joana/
Sub count: I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 heyoooo
Welcome to my show and tell presentation. You will not believe the potato I found yesterday. It was round, yellow and all sorts of different colours. It also had a STENCH that you won't believe! Jesus Christ! I literally thought that it was my fart but then I remembered that I had my insides removed after I saw that episode of my six hundred pound life. You see, here was my rationale: I love to eat, and I might have a problem. So, in order to never grow fat from my future eating addiction, I applied for a gastric bypass surgery AND THEY ACCEPTED!
I don't even know where I am going with this so I am just going to stop it right now.
Anyways, thanks for watching and hope you enjoyed,
Joana
Joana Ceddia
The Ceddia
Professor Ceddia
Jona
Jonah hill
jesus
Current sub count: 398 (how in the hell is this possible)

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 WHAT IS UP MY CHILDREN
Have you ever wondered what its like to have each individual leg hair plucked mercilessly from your bottom appendages? Well, in this video I show you what it is like to loose your mind while simultaneously engaging in the activity most humans like to call "waxing". Welcome to my TED talk.
Current sub count: 302 (wHeT)
Hope you are all having a wonderful morning/afternoon/breakfast/nap time/brunch/poopy time,
Her majesty Joana Ceddia AKA the queen of all first world problems

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 welcome back to another mess of a video. Today I show you what's I take to school, what I take to the bathroom at school, what I use to hoard my useless garbage in, etc.
anyways, thanks for watching and hope to see you next time
current sub count: 217

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Just wanted to say thank you for the 100th time. This past month has been amazing and I love each and every single one of you more than you can believe. Also sorry this video is so late. I thought I would have more time to finish this video but I guess I goofed. Sorry.
Anyways, now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, let me tell you something. I ate all the cookies in two days.
sue me.
thank you guys for watching and I love you all to Pluto and back
current sub count: 156

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 HEYEVERYBODYITSJOJOWELCOMEBACKTOJOJOJUICEWHEREEVERYSINGLEWEDNESDAYIANSWERYOUGUYS'SQUESTIONSONMYTWITTERTHENIPOURJUICEONMYHEADDSLNVSBBCASMACZ V
hey
didn't know Jojo Siwa was 5'9? neither did I. Anyways, thanks so much for watching my transition to the dark side. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope Claire's doesn't sue me.
current sub count: 77 (I know, I'm sorry I couldn't do a 69 subscriber meme)
thanks for watching and see you on the flip side

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 What's up my doods
Welcome to my ted talk. Today, I take you through the trials and tribulations of a day in the life of moi, a teenage grandma who complains about every other issue she encounters. If you liked this video, go tell your dog to shove it up his a-
Anyways, thank you so much for watching. I love all of you with the entirety of my teensy weensy heart.
current sub count: 40
bYE!!!!1!11!!! ;)

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hey
I watched a video on how to grow your channel and it told me to start writing more in the description box. So here we are. This video is all about stupid me doing stupid things while I tell you all about my stupid habits. Hope you get to know me better after this video!
OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA:
I don't have any other social media accounts.
Current sub count: 23 (I know its not a lot but it is a lot for my tiny little black heart)
Love you all and see you in the next one.
P.S. What do you call a ghetto in Italy?....
A SPAGHETTO

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 "Looking to make amazing homemade pizza? This video is for you! Joana will take you through all the steps and procedures in the making of a delicious pizza! Subscribe for more TASTY content!"
Said no one ever

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 If you want any of the clothes I made...
call me ;)

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Mom: so what do you do when you are home alone? Me:

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 jefree is quaking, Manny's wig is past pluto, Nikkie is shook and James has fled the scene of the crime (news flash: they are actually all fine).

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Do I recommend doing this? no
Will your mom get mad at you? yes
Do I regret this? I'm not entirely sure

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hi there:)
If you enjoyed this video, make sure to leave a like and subscribe! I post mediocre content like this as often as I can.

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hi, I make questionable videos. If you agree, like this video and subscribe!

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 All that, and I forget to pack pajamas

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 If I ever meet her, you best believe I will frame this and give it to her

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Who knows, maybe when I have two subscribers, I will bake a cake!

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hey there! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed the video!
LIKE and SUBSCRIBBLE if you want to!

JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461 Hi there. Hope you are having a GREAT day.
Please don’t roast me in the comment section for the camera quality because I found out halfway through filming that the back facing camera has better quality than the front facing camera on the iPhone. Actually, it’s fine, I deserve a good roast.
Background music:
Johann Strauss - On The Beautiful Blue Danube [Donauwalzer] - m.bgzone.info/view/R0Q1a0NITTVWYVE.html
THE A-TEAM THEME - SHITTYFLUTED - m.bgzone.info/view/TENIYXVvR1BRcFU.html
What do you call a ghetto in Italy? A SPAGHETTO

xxBVPxx - преди 3 минути

Its almost 3 million cookies time 🤣🤔😉

Shinji D - преди 5 минути

whats the chance that she loves watching big bang theory when she loves physics that much XDDD Im no science guy but I love watching scientific shows and comedy lol

Vesna Andelic - преди 6 минути

O

Zara Clare - преди 7 минути

Whos here when she is almost at 3M

rebbeca belle - преди 9 минути

13 year olds be like... *blood sweat and tears...BTS?!?!?!*

Welcome 2 Mcboyfriend's Home - преди 14 минути

Now THESE are the kind of videos I like 2 watch

Chicken Tenders - преди 16 минути

Omg i love purple rain by prince

bilishu aliss - преди 21 минута

"I'm officially a victim of capitalism" LOL and i oop-

splderwebs - преди 25 минути

**sexy music** W R O N G ITS **smexy music**

V squad - преди 27 минути

Omg you have so many mics you have two mics on the side and one in your hand

Purpur_Purrs_Purrfectly - преди 28 минути

wait... youre 18.... cant you drive?

Bangtandeu Animu - преди 29 минути

This was posted in 9/11 *suprised pikachu*

Louise Vel - преди 36 минути

You're hilarious 😘😂

Aleksandra Petraš - преди 37 минути

all you should know about tennis is Novak Djokovic

Florance Pimentel - преди 41 минута

Ben jij Nederlands?

Soph1e - преди 42 минути

I truly love you so much you really lighten up my day your so funny and beautiful at the same time LOL anyway I just really lover your personality and your humor best wishes 💕 also I have to watch back. All your vids cause Ive seen all your vids already and when I see a new one I literally jump out of my skin:;((•﹏•๑)));:🌟-Sophie-love your girl. 🐙

Roddy Rod - преди 44 минути

I stopped at...."I'm a victim of capitalism".....what an entitled moron.

Samra Shmres - преди 47 минути

Tou send hi i send bye

Niveska Cakarun - преди 48 минути

Careish mom 🤣

Jezabel Mir - преди 52 минути

where did you get your record player from cause omg i want one -thanksss

II_ Glooby - преди 58 минути

0:17 lmaoo

Anjelika Mamasalieva - преди час

Карамба-_-

chai tea - преди час

the question isnt how she did it the question is how she worked in the shrek outfit

Jordan Ulis - преди час

I think Joana needs to collab with Caroline Konstnar and we will get maximum youtube potential reached

erica_xxox - преди час

i have 15 subscribers... and i’m proud...

Ishita Sharma - преди час

Kpop is so flashy and the bright colours hurt my eyes. Maybe i can watch with a curtain or something

{ M È S Ø D R Å W Š } - преди час

The first time k played minnecraft j was 2nd day and i thought the creeper was frindly and j blew up thats why j play on my laptop and on hypixel

Robert - преди час

Coach: "You were faster in practice, what happened?" And I was like shiiieeet

ging3rdragon - преди час

That’s a fully emergency backpack 🎒👍

Sebastian Playz - преди час

2018: cuts hair with craft scissors 2019:bleaches hair Me:...

chai tea - преди час

Summer time sadness? More likee aLl tImE sAdnESs

Shabul Mashor Junaidi - преди час

who agree her hair is beautiful when after she cut her hair wish I have a hair-like that

Katia G - преди час

made me crave tuna darn it

Salim - преди час

Omg my calculus professor is Italian too!

The Gaming Unicorn - преди час

Make friends!!!!

sherwin soares - преди час

Not all wahmen bad

ging3rdragon - преди час

Mom walks in: 🚶‍♀️ Mom runs out : 💃 👀 👅

Jennie is BAE - преди час

i miss joana old basic clothes

Krazy Kara - преди час

I has subscribed

ging3rdragon - преди час

Michaels is so bad with their artsy items! I went to 2 different ones and none had what i needed 😂

Nicoli Pereira - преди час

Pues a mieme encantó como le quedó el pelo 😂

wadu help - преди 2 часа

muji pens r honestly da best

YourDailyUnnie - преди 2 часа

3:41 MY B DAY!!!!! 10 November!

Mahi Mahi - преди 2 часа

Add a tomato next cheese /steak. Its a tradition for Itali.

mysticat17 - преди 2 часа

THE FIRST 28 SECONDS GOT ME- omg i love how calm her voice is 💖

Mahi Mahi - преди 2 часа

North Face backpack will be fine

Mustafa Genç - преди 2 часа

15 dakikamı geri istiyorum

Click bait - преди 2 часа

I'm I the only person wondering why she's going to university😐

Click bait - преди 2 часа

Joana looks so different now. All grown ❤👴

Mahi Mahi - преди 2 часа

You are funny.

Putri Ango - преди 2 часа

Ada gak Orang indonesia yg nonton ini juga ?

Sarena Louise - преди 2 часа

Joana: "someone stop Jacob saggytitties" 😂

Anh Minh - преди 2 часа

Petition for Joana to have a clothing line called “High Key”

bored_potato1 - преди 2 часа

3:07 is that a charmed reference 👀

potato life - преди 2 часа

I thought she go home and eat her lunch?

Ivy Mckay - преди 3 часа

I was crying with laughter by the end of this video Just thought y’all should know

*insert surprised pikachu face * - преди 3 часа

"I'm offically a victim of capitalism"

Sara Buhary - преди 3 часа

Ma DUUDDEESSSSS

*insert surprised pikachu face * - преди 3 часа

"I have been brithed!!" - John Cena 2019

Jaluna Böhler - преди 3 часа

Is she canadian?

Nightcore Potato:3 - преди 3 часа

“If the apocalypse hits, I’m going bald. I don’t know why Picture this you’re struggling to survive. No food, no water. There’s zombies attacking you. Me? i’m bald and beautiful, that sounded disgusting. And I have all the food. Am I gonna let you in? No, cause you made fun of my bald hair” john cena 2019 MY BALD HAIR

Siríus - преди 3 часа

I nid that gold star.

Corky 354 - преди 3 часа

10:35 me off to go kill my enemies

Minja Muhonen - преди 3 часа

the creeper was supposed to be a pig but there was some coding error that made it look like the creeper and ig they just wanted to put it in the game :D

Doordana's what's up studio - преди 3 часа

I love your hummer

xfordzilla - преди 3 часа

Ily

Alexandra Gacha :3 - преди 3 часа

Iam seeing this at 3:00 A.M And i oop-

Stella'stage - преди 3 часа

Any 2019 peeps

UnicornCookie - преди 3 часа

niga you have 3 computers WTFFFFFF

Lorien Bukilic - преди 3 часа

y ya need to wax your legs when you're wearing pants?

Rebecca Valastro - преди 3 часа

Can you try to do study/homework tips? I need so much help! I just started middle school

katie stot - преди 3 часа

OMG I would never do this to my hair even for a BGzone video 😱😱

Grace Sinclair - преди 3 часа

nobody cares about you, you're just some shitty low quality laughs on the internet stop uploading

Nikki Morada - преди 3 часа

She’s literally perfect

Yahir Castro - преди 3 часа

8:10. Did she really call an empanada a cheese pastel.

Jenny Awad - преди 3 часа

That haul reminded me of everything that is first-year uni! Woah - there's a blast from the past! Hope your studies go well :)

no u lol - преди 4 часа

"my mom is gonna kill me if she sees this" *posts on youtube*

Viola - преди 4 часа

Oh damn that's my uni lol, hope you have a good time here!!

lilith violet harmony - преди 4 часа

I hope my kid turns out like her. a mixture of a ball of energy and organised mess.

Tiller the clout chaser - преди 4 часа

Are we just going to ignore the fact that she’s wearing a vtech watch

Arlena Ayala - преди 4 часа

september 4th was my birthday :(

Love - преди 4 часа

I had to pause this video to breathe

Roger - преди 4 часа

E eu que me achava louco por tirar fotos dos meus machucados.

Emma Rogers - преди 4 часа

My name is Jacob saggy titis

rigoberto rodriguez - преди 4 часа

Is nobody gunna talk about the fact that her hair is the same color of her glasses👌🏻😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Fluffy The Hamster :3 - преди 4 часа

*I want your future husband to see this*

ƒlσσƒαɱαƭเσɳร - преди 4 часа

John Cena: proof that you don't need a whole ass camera crew, OR, a million-dollar set to be a great youtuber

Little Marci - преди 4 часа

What do you use to edit your vids

allison - преди 4 часа

Me watching this when I have a math test lol

Kelsey Kisenga élève - преди 5 часа

1:40 is what ur looking for😎

Jorze - преди 5 часа

almost 3 mill bruh

Lexi Kay - преди 5 часа

I just bought those boots in velvet 😂🖤

Oppressors Beware - преди 5 часа

Awesome painting but do you ever STFU?

Naina S. - преди 5 часа

“there is a lot of questionable stuff in there and i don’t want everybody looking at it” *shows it to the world*

Areej Zubair - преди 5 часа

Joanna: I hope the sun is shining while you are watching this Me *looks outside* nope it’s raining

Bayley Webb - преди 5 часа

Hey Joana like this comment if you like cheese

ƒlσσƒαɱαƭเσɳร - преди 5 часа

"If I can't wear it during the apocalypse, im not wearing it at all." My senior quote 2026

Roberto Barbante - преди 5 часа

"fileira de cocaina" ícone artístico

paola martinez - преди 5 часа

Omg your major is physics my major is biophysics💕💕💕. You’ve got this John Cena.