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Is this Karma?

July of 2009, I made a dumbass decision and got into a really bad car accident. It was raining, the roads were wet, the truck was too big, and I fishtailed and hit another car head-on. I was totally sober.

When we stopped spinning, I was stuck in the truck. I kicked my door until it opened, and ran to the other car. It was a gold Chrysler, with a man inside. Blood. Everywhere. I thought he was dead, until he mumbled "Stupid ass bitch" at me. I started bawling. Immediately I thought "I'm so fucked... my son... I'm fucked... my baby... fuck..." I squatted in the middle of the street. The truck was in the middle of the 4 lane highway in the left turn lane. His car was in the ditch, it had missed trees by inches. His car was totaled, glass was everywhere, the tire fell off.... the truck was bent and twisted, it was leaking antifreeze and it was smoking. My friend was fine. She was hysterical.

My son was with my grandparents. He was safe and had no idea what had happened. He doesn't know mommy was arrested and had almost killed someone. I spent the night in jail and since I had no criminal record, I was released on a PR bond. Charged with Reckless Driving.

The man lived. He had a collapsed lung and a few broken ribs, but my friend told me he was able to walk out of the car. I felt horrible that day. That man... my son... the empty baby seat in the back of his car...

Ever since then, my life has been a living hell. Too much to write. So much pain, so much drama, so much... everything and not enough smiles. Not enough happiness.

Do you think it's Karma? Do I REALLY deserve this?

I'll elaborate:

It's MY fault because I was in car I was unfamiliar with, it was borrowed. I accelerated too quickly while turning right causing the fishtail. After the accident, I found out the plates didn't even match the truck. The woman I had borrowed it from had lied.

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

It's on my record. I can never do any job that requires a clean driving record, which is a lot more than you'd imagine.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

What?! Why was your son taken? People have accidents every day and their kids aren't taken away. I could see if you were drunk or if you were caught with drugs on you...but this? Why???

Have you looked into having your record cleared? Sometimes it's an option. I don't know what state you're in or what their rules and criteria are for it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Igot my son taken from me because of it. That was hell, and still is.

I haven't been able to keep a job.

I've been homeless until last october.

I'm in an abusive relationship.

I just feel... miserable.

It's on my record. I can never do any job that requires a clean driving record, which is a lot more than you'd imagine.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

I did some shitty stuff, I then had a lot of shitty stuff happen to me. I matured real quick, I knew I had to give to get. That caused me to do a ton of good stuff, now I really couldn't be happier.

Eta, do you feel like you derseve what has happened to you since 09? It sounds like you have a ton of guilt. Where you infact driving like an asshole? I think it could be karma, but that depends on if you're sharing everything. The thing with the plates isn't your fault, unless you did know, and you're saving face, if not, its sucks that she lied to you, did you have reason to believe she would lie to you?

I was in the middle of an ugly custody battle. It happened at a horrible time. Since I would not have a license and had been in jail, they used it against me and took him.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

What?! Why was your son taken? People have accidents every day and their kids aren't taken away. I could see if you were drunk or if you were caught with drugs on you...but this? Why???

Have you looked into having your record cleared? Sometimes it's an option. I don't know what state you're in or what their rules and criteria are for it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Igot my son taken from me because of it. That was hell, and still is.

I haven't been able to keep a job.

I've been homeless until last october.

I'm in an abusive relationship.

I just feel... miserable.

It's on my record. I can never do any job that requires a clean driving record, which is a lot more than you'd imagine.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

It was an ACCIDENT. You can't beat yourself up over it forever. I'm sorry things haven't been to good for you but I'm positive it's not because of your ACCIDENT. (((((((hugs)))))))). Please try to forgive yourself.

That's really sad. I bet you wish you could go back in time. I know that's the way I feel about some of the bad things that have happened to me. I keep thinking about the before and after, as if my life is in two different sections. The before seems so much nicer than the after but there is no going back.

The homelessness might qualify you for some programs. I think it would be a good idea for you to look into what's available. And dump the abusive partner. He's dead weight and that's the last thing you need right now.

Do you get any visitation with your son?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was in the middle of an ugly custody battle. It happened at a horrible time. Since I would not have a license and had been in jail, they used it against me and took him.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

What?! Why was your son taken? People have accidents every day and their kids aren't taken away. I could see if you were drunk or if you were caught with drugs on you...but this? Why???

Have you looked into having your record cleared? Sometimes it's an option. I don't know what state you're in or what their rules and criteria are for it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Igot my son taken from me because of it. That was hell, and still is.

I haven't been able to keep a job.

I've been homeless until last october.

I'm in an abusive relationship.

I just feel... miserable.

It's on my record. I can never do any job that requires a clean driving record, which is a lot more than you'd imagine.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

Yes. I am as involved as his guardian allows me to be. He's here usually every weekend. I've done parenting classes so I want her to let him be here all the time now, since she's basically just a third parent. She's just really taking advantage of that stupid piece of paper. The man doesn't live wth me and I've maintained housing now for a while. He needs to come home.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

That's really sad. I bet you wish you could go back in time. I know that's the way I feel about some of the bad things that have happened to me. I keep thinking about the before and after, as if my life is in two different sections. The before seems so much nicer than the after but there is no going back.

The homelessness might qualify you for some programs. I think it would be a good idea for you to look into what's available. And dump the abusive partner. He's dead weight and that's the last thing you need right now.

Do you get any visitation with your son?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was in the middle of an ugly custody battle. It happened at a horrible time. Since I would not have a license and had been in jail, they used it against me and took him.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

What?! Why was your son taken? People have accidents every day and their kids aren't taken away. I could see if you were drunk or if you were caught with drugs on you...but this? Why???

Have you looked into having your record cleared? Sometimes it's an option. I don't know what state you're in or what their rules and criteria are for it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Igot my son taken from me because of it. That was hell, and still is.

I haven't been able to keep a job.

I've been homeless until last october.

I'm in an abusive relationship.

I just feel... miserable.

It's on my record. I can never do any job that requires a clean driving record, which is a lot more than you'd imagine.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Then they should have charged you with driving without proper plates, not reckless driving. They charged you with something you didn't even do. That's just silly, IMO.

You mentioned that your life has been hell since it happened. What, other than the probation and fines has been going on? Is it guilt? Are you still embarrassed? Is it on your criminal record, making it hard to get hired for a job?

Quoting Anonymous:

I was charged basically because of the plates. The cops even said they weren't going to arrest me, then they realized the plates didnt match up and they said sorry, we're taking you in. I had arranged for my mom to come pick me up. She drove all the way out there, just to see me get hauled off in a cop car. She was like WTF is going on? to the cops... they told her I was being arrested.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Why were you even charged? Did they think you were horse playing with your driving or something? Like, trying to fishtails on purpose for fun or accelerating too fast on purpose for fun?

Quoting Anonymous:

plead guilty to reckless driving in exchange for no probation and a suspended license for 90 days with only court fees. no jail time.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

It may not have been the wisest choice ever but I don't think you had any way of knowing this was going to happen. Bad things happen all the time and there doesn't always have to be some hidden reason behind them. Karma, shmarma. Fate, shmate.

What's happened with the legal issues since then?

Quoting Anonymous:

I made the decision to drive a car I was unfamiliar with in shitty conditions and accidentally accelerated too fast while making a right turn. Come to find out, the truck I was in wasn't even fucking registered. I had borrowed it and the plates weren't legit.

Quoting Nicoleb9:

Okay, you said you made a dumbass decision. What was the dumbass decision? You said you were totally sober, but ended up being charged with reckless driving. I'm unclear on that part.

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.