WHAT BARACK OBAMA RESEMBLES, ASIDE FROM PIZZA HUT: Michael Douglas in the 1993 film Falling Down

UNRELATED--DRINK OF CHOICE FOR LIBERAL INTERNS: Diet Snapple

WHY OBAMA'S CANDIDATE ENDORSEMENTS ARE MORE LIKE KISSING YOUR SISTER THAN KISSING DEATH:

No,
they aren't the kiss of death, but they certainly aren't the kiss of
life either. They're more like a kiss from your sister. They add little
to no excitement while inviting many unwanted questions.

ANALOGY FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS SPECIAL ELECTION:

In
political terms, it was a bit like holding a papal election and having
the pontiff's seat (or cathedra, for you sticklers) go to the head counselor of the Unitarian Church (or whatever they call their Pope-equivalent).

OBAMA IS A STRONG HUGGER: "He hugged Florida governor Charlie Crist so hard he squeezed him right out of the Republican party."

OBAMA IS MARY POPPINS: He's "just so awesome that what would be political
losses for lesser mortals must be more winning proof of his
supercalifragilisticexpialidociousness."

JONAH GOLDBERG
EXPLAINS POLITICS TO THE UNINITIATED: Rep. Jack Murtha in Pennsylvania
"remains a hero for getting the entire district strung-out on
high-grade pork (not the oink-oink kind)"

EDITORIAL QUESTION FROM
WIRE STAFF: How exactly would you get strung-out on "oink-oink" pork?
Smoke? Or sniff? "Snorting pork" sounds good.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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