Emotional ties with actress Frances Barber

Left: This is Le Labo Santal 33, my latest fragrance obsession. It’s not too heavy. Every time I get in a taxi, I’m complimented by the driver. Right: This Armani necklace was a birthday present from Derek Jacobi and his boyfriend, but I’ve had to steal it back from Ian McKellen. When I was doing King Lear with Ian in Stratford-upon-Avon in 2007, I had a bicycle accident and needed cartilage surgery, so I ended up moving in with him. I later saw a photo of him in Italian Vogue wearing it. I had it on recently and he said: ‘Oh, that’s where it went.’

This was made by Mackenzie Crook when I played Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in the West End with him in 2004. He’s an amazing artist – he spent the entire run making these extraordinary figures of every person in the cast.

My mum Gladys died aged 68. I’m one of six and we all loved her – she didn’t have a bad bone in her body. Just nine months later my brother Graham was killed in a car accident. I keep this photo of them by my bed. I’ve come to terms with it now because what else can you do? But it was a shattering time.

Left: I fell in love with this when I went to Kenya on a safari. It was carved from one piece of wood. I’ve been collecting pearls for years, so it seemed a good place to put them. Right: I was taking the 1995 film 3 Steps to Heaven to Cannes and had to buy a dress for the occasion, so I saved up and went to Versace. I wanted to copy Elizabeth Hurley, who’s a friend of mine, but the safety pin dress was too daring. I chose this one instead.

This poster was from the musical Closer to Heaven, which I starred in at the Arts Theatre, London, in 2001. It was written by Jonathan Harvey and the Pet Shop Boys and was a brilliant job. Louie Spence was the dance captain. It was before he was famous, but we all knew he was going to be a huge star.

Left: The Pet Shop Boys gave me this lovely bag on the last night of their musical production Closer to Heaven. It was the first Louis Vuitton I’d ever owned, so I was over the moon. It always reminds me of that happy time. Right: When the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon went under renovation in 2007, I was given a piece of the demolished building. I put it on this candle holder after my cleaner almost threw it in the bin by accident.