I am so sorry you are ill, I pray to God you come out of this alright!! I also now If I make it to heaven?? the first qeustion I would ask God! Why do you suffer a person that tryes so hard ? the only answer I know is in JOOB!! This guy was the best person in so many ways!! But the devil and God , Gambled on his sole!!Torment and torter was at stake,They infected him with all types of horrers, And he never gave up!! In the Bible it also states there was a woman that was Disabled! She was never heled by jusus ! She was left to testify to jueues mericals! My prays are with you My Freind!! Tom (Ps my spelling sucks!!!