Hi. I'm a painter, a writer and a mother of three teenage sons, one with a severe disability. This is a journal: riotously disorganized, full of art, food, children and everyday domestic events. Unless you are a friend or family member you may not be interested, but you are welcome to look. Artists who are parents may find some
common ground here, as well as parents of children with special needs. For art only, see my site: nancybeamiller.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 30

Poor Henry and Poor UsWe have been having lots of trouble with Henry lately. Aggression, rage, anxiety, general misery. It's hard to describe the suddenness and intensity of Henry's rages and mood swings. Paul has been absolutely heroic about coming home from work to help me; particularly stressful for him as he is working like a dog to keep his business afloat. But at age 15, Henry is six foot three and 195 pounds and there is no way I can cope with him for long periods on my own (and I have the bruises to prove it!) Keeping him gainfully occupied (like they do at his wonderful school) is somewhat helpful to his mood stability, but it's difficult for me to devote every second of my day to this as I have two other kids and the usual housewifely duties, not to mention the fact that there is no way I can manage this young man physically by myself in most situations. And it has become impossible to find Henry sitters or helpers...anyone know any former NFL linebackers turned autism aides? We are working to find some drug combo that might help too, but so far no good although there are a few more to try. (That is a torturously slow path, however, as you have to carefully withdraw from one drug before slowly building up with another. And repeat...)

It's amazing to me how there is almost a conspiracy of silence about what seems to be a pretty common phase many autistic teenagers go through (just google: autism teenagers aggression). Good news: it is natural. Bad news: it can last several years. I suppose people don't want to scare other people whose kids are younger, especially as some kids won't go through it. But I have always preferred to know what might be coming at me. So here I am talking about it. :-0 I guess my other motive is to explain to people why I have seemed to have perhaps gone underground, disappeared from the "social scene" and have become worse at than ever at returning phone calls, emails, registration forms etc. We are kind of in lockdown mode over here. I am sore, tired, in a state of constant high alert and busy in way that is simply hard to describe. Here are a few pictures:

This is when I usually get hurt...when I stop him from smashing himself in the head. Usually it is two-handed, here is the more elegant one hand version. Some kids with autism have to wear special protective headgear as many have deafened and blinded themselves, so I ALWAYS intervene when the self-injurious behaviors begin, and that's often when I become the target of aggression. If you can't smash the one you want, smash the one you're with! ;-)

My poor guy! He doesn't know what's hit him. It's heart-breaking, and we are just hoping we can keep it from becoming bone-breaking, too.

Friday, August 28

Art for a Good CauseI have been busy organizing a plein air day to benefit my son Henry's wonderful special needs school, Camphill Special School. Specifically I am aiming to raise funds and awareness of their program for the 18 to 21 year olds who require special skills and training as they make the transition from school to adult programs. This what is called the Transition Program, and the school recently bought a neighboring property to house it, Beaver Farm, which is wonderful and beautiful but needs some renovation and construction to enlarge and expand.

On August 8th, 34 artists converged on Beaver Farm in Phoenixville PA for a wonderful day of painting, delicious food and camaraderie. The weather gods cooperated and so did everyone else. Joyful reunions were happening all over the place as old friends saw one another again, and many new friends met for the first time, too.

Of course the main attraction was art-making. This working biodynamic farm is a place of such quiet but intense beauty many of the artists felt almost overwhelmed by choices. However this is a nice problem to have, and everyone got right to work (usually after a brief period of helpless gaping in all directions!) I invited all kinds of artists, from realists to abstractionists, photographers and printmakers, oil painters, digital artists, encaustic artists: all people whose work I admire and whom I respect as artists and human beings:

Friday, August 21

It's been quite a year for the garden! After much debate Paul and I decided in March that we would not sign up for our CSA (farm-share)this year...for the first time in many years. Instead, I enlarged and expanded the home garden. I'd feel guilty for not supporting local agriculture except that the farm we usually sign up with is so popular that they have a long waiting list.

We were sure lucky with this year's home garden being so exceptionally productive and bounteous: except for a few specialty items like pea tendrils and cider and eggs, I haven't missed being in our CSA this summer.

So, I'm informally researching tomatoes for next year...looking for best flavor! Here is what I have so far gathered:

From this list I only have personal experience this year with Black Krim (outstanding!) and Sweet 100 (deliciously sweet and intense.) I'm still waiting for an heirloom called Mortgage Lifter to ripen. I also grew another heirloom called Crimson Cushion, which I'd rate above average and a hybrid, Early Girl, which gets an A+ for speed but only a C+ for flavor. My Romas are wonderful and dependable but not absolutely bursting with flavor. I've also tasted my neighbor's Abe Lincoln tomatoes, which to my tongue are above average but again, not outstanding. I know taste is personal, but what are your favorites?

BTW, Brandywine: it keeps popping up on all the top ten lists, so I included it, but the one time I grew it I was underwhelmed. It had a great texture, juicy and tender, but was a little bland in flavor. I hear there are different varietals amongst this strain, so maybe I got a "dumbed down" one by chance. Your thoughts? (You can comment on Facebook, or just email me...I still haven't managed to find a way to enable comments on this old template! If you respond, please let me know what region you live in, as I believe geographic location, and other factors like soil type, rainfall etc. influence flavor, too.)

Thursday, August 20

Henry at one more interminable meeting to obtain services for something or other...they always start off by asking about the pregnancy and birth. I always say "Isn't it it still in the records from the last 25 times I was in here?" They are always apologetic but implacable...the entire nightmare must be recounted, yet again, and signed off in triplicate. Just one small detail of life for the special needs parent...

November

by Elsa Beskow

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The photographs on this site were taken with either a Canon EOS T3i, a Nikon D-70, an iPhone, or a Canon Powershot SD1000. For photo reproduction/purchase inquiries please contact me at nb (at) genrecookshop (dot) com