I am so lonely without you... I'm all they way up here in Canada and can't get to where you are.... my dog is sick, my kids are in jail and my great auntie needs a triple bypass. Please... send money soon so that I can come and visit you...

MysticalMariaP.O. Box 69Hanover, Ontario... by way of Nigeria

(damn... maybe he won't remember that us Canadians have universal health coverage...)

Please Gary... please help my dog... oh... and my aunt too... if you have time.

Now for my plea: I'm obviously from bankrupt CA, but my Nigerian dog is pathetic and we need shelter. Could you pay my way to your cyber patio and let us camp there for awhile? Just this once, Gary, please!

My deerest sweety Gary, I have fall upon your profile by mistake but then I saw for you what a sweety and lover person you are and I must need to contact you most immediately. I seen by your most beautiful smile in your photo that you are a man of most lovely heart and your manly strongness is much looking. I am finding myself trapped in a very bad place and I am begging of your strong heart to save me. My village of Houston is been invaded by the Bushman tribe and I will much love to see your beautiful home. Sadly I do not possess the money to travel at this exact time because sadly all of my funds are taken by the family of my ex-husband and he is not a beautiful heart person as you are. But if you can please help me then my family can repay you 10 times more when they know of my safety. I am not to call them from here because my enemy have stolen my telephone and my family not have internet like your smart manly person possess.
please can you help me? My email is sexyhotwomanwaitingforstud@sucker.com please to write back fast. I am waiting for you. i send you my photo so you may know how i am.

Dear Gary, you never told me you had money. So, do you have money and want to share with a lovely lady? Actually, she accepts donations in the form of gifts from Amazon. So, should I send you her account number? You will find a 'wish list' there. You don't have to do too much. Just pay and Amazon will send it out. And she is lovely, believe me. How do I know? I look in the mirror.