ELIZA DUSHKU - posted this hot picture on twitter from the NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics. Her boyfriend Rick Fox is mostly famous for his time as a Laker but he was drafted by the Celtics. Going over to the other side is something Rick and Eliza have in common, it would seem. (twitter)

BRADLEY COOPER AND RENEE ZELLWEGER - might be getting married. Or they might not be. Life is funny like that. (wonderwall)

LINDSAY LOHAN - needs a new assistant because the last one just quit. Wait, she had an assistant? For what? I don’t mean to brag but a daily routine of sleeping until 4pm and then getting drunk at Marmount seems like something I could manage all by myself. (popeater)

DAVID LETTERMAN – is denying a report in the Enquirer that his wife has thrown him out of the house as a result of the affairs he admitted to last month. If she does try to kick him out, he should give her a book about Scott Peterson. Remind her what’s up. (wonderwall)

NICOLE RICHIE – is married to Joel Madden, and has been for some time although no one knew it until today. Probably because no one gives a shit. (radar)

GIRLS KISSING – will never ever get old. At least until I die, and even then it will depend on where their hands are and if they’re using tongue or not. (college humor)

JANET JACKSON – holds Dr. Conrad Murray responsible for her brothers death because Murray gave Michael a powerful anesthetic shortly before he died. In an interview that will air Wednesday, she also says she thinks about him everyday. Especially last week when she raped a little boy. (popeater)

ELIZA DUSHKU – is sexy as hell, as you can see in some recent twitter pictures and by the thong she flashed while preparing for a bike ride with bf Rick Fox. He’s 6’7”, btw, and she’s 5’5”, so Eliza must be pretty easily relaxed. I’m 6’5” and I dated a girl who is 5’3”. During sex she looked like a unicorn.

Eliza Dushku and her sexyasfuck raspy voice were on David Letterman last night, and all thongs (misspelling that I’m keeping) considered, her choice of outfit really can’t be considered anything other than sarcastic. It’s like she was trying to trick him into saying something inappropriate. Unless she was there to promote her new book, “Ways To Get David Letterman Fired”.

Needless to say Jenifer Lopez was not the only celebrity to participate in the Malibu Triathlon yesterday. She was just the only one to go to the media beforehand and stomp her fat feet to get attention for it. Eliza Dushku, Matthew McConaughey and Jon Cryer were just a few of the others to quietly participate and raise money for charity. So not only did Eliza do it with more dignity, she made it look way way hotter. This is how you can tell JLo is an egomaniac. Any other person would have taken one look at themselves in that wetsuit, then spent the weekend in the bathroom taking laxatives and crying.