They are trying to kill me. I swear.

After two years people still can’t get out of the damn fire. I have no idea why. I figured it best to go right to the source. Ladies and Gentlemen I introduce the one, the only, Teh Fire!

*applause sign*

Fire: “Thank you very much for inviting me! I’m happy to be here!”

Mrfenris: “Of course. Were happy to have you join us. How are you this evening?”

Fire: “Oh man I’m better than ever. I have a fantastic job and going to work is a treat.”

Mrfenris: “Lets talk a bit about your job. I mean how many raid mechanics have had such a long career as you and your still as successful as ever at killing stupid ass players?”

Fire: “Oh I know MF, it’s amazing. I think the key to my longevity and success is my focus on staying grounded. I try to stay with what skills and talents got my into the raid encounter business. I just have a really good work ethic.”

Mrfenris: “Right right. That and there are still scores of stupid DPS that can’t figure out they shouldn’t stand in you…”

*crowd laughs*

Fire: *chuckles* “Yeah that too.”

Mrfenris: “I mean it’s been what five years of killing players and you still do it the same way. If they stand in you they die and wipe the raid right?”

Fire: *laughs* That’s right. I think that’s truly the rewarding part. I just change colors, sometimes I’m green, sometimes I’m purple, but I’m always still the same underneath. If you stand in me you will die!”

Mrfenris: “So tells us a little about your next project, what do you have lined up?”

Fire: “Oh I’m so excited MF. I’ve got an entire expansion of nothing but ELEMENTAL damage coming up in Cataclysm. I can’t wait. So six years later I’ll still be killing people who stand around in me and I think Blizz always comes up with new way to use me.”

Mrfenris: “That’s fantastic. I’m sure you’ll be extremely popular when Cataclysm hits. Fire I want to wish you best of luck and I hope there’s many more DPS deaths in your future.”

Fire: “Thanks MF. That’s one thing you can be sure of.”

***

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK PEOPLE?

I understand making a mistake once or twice, but for the love of Jaina’s granny panties can we please pretend we have a fucking clue on something that’s been killing dumbass players since day freaking one? I mean players know not to run out into traffic cus cars hurt right? (Can we get that confirmed?)

So why the fuck can’t we figure out that standing in fire kills players and can wipe raids?

I swear after I quit this game and come back 20 years later, people will still be dying in the fire. It boggles my damn mind.