BBC deny claims of 'Match-Fixing of the Day'

Following a lengthy investigation by Europol into football match fixing, the BBC's only remaining sports show 'Match of the Day' has been implicated as a major player in the crime.

'Their involvement became clear when Gary Lineker was able to accurately predict the number of goals, red cards and handshake refusals in the Premier League that day before a single match had even been shown' a spokesman for the European police service told us. 'We believe that Alan Hanson spends most of the show speaking in a secret language only those involved understand, but like the production team on MOTD, we are still trying to ascertain what Mark Lawrenson's role is'.

There have long been rumours about Match of the Day's involvement in the illegal betting markets. Some have suggested that the referees in the games were not the only whistleblowers, but the BBC have denied that claim. 'People say former presenters have been silenced over the matter, but the BBC has always been an open organisation, just ask Des Lynham, if you can find him'. We tried to contact Mr Lynham but he has been missing since leaving the show in 1999.

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