12 Days of Anime #6: Bang, Zoom, Straight to the Moon

Symphogear is a series that is often a mess, to put it kindly. I think the show’s animation got a bad rep. The fight scenes were usually solid, and the final battle is legit one of my favorite scenes of the year. However, I suppose I can’t blame people too much when there’s embarrassing shit like this as the counterargument. The story is also the kind of nonsense you can get only from anime. Despite all that, Symphogear charmed me due to its relentless optimism (that stuff gets through to me every once in a while) combined with its batshit insanity.

That is no more apparent than when the Obvious Villain finally does away with her Obvious Disguise and reveals her True Plans.

You see, the main villain is an ancient entity known as Fine who tried to give God a, “What’s up? How’s it hangin’, Big Guy?” To reach God, she (and many others, I presume) built the Tower of Babel. God, however, wasn’t having any of that shit, and he blew the tower up good. And, of course, as the story goes, God also fucked with humanity’s communicative abilities and introduced multiple languages so that people could not understand each other. Kind of a mean thing to do, but hey, that’s God for you.

That’s only where the story begins, however. Fine has been biding her time, hopping from one famous historical figure to another, getting resurrected and furthering her plans in each age until she ends up in the era where Symphogear takes place. From there, she finalizes her plot: She’s somehow secretly used a massive underground base to build a giant phallic laser cannon, Kadingir, to blow up the moon, which is what keeps the curse alive. Then Fine can take over the world or some such.

It’s truly ridiculous, but fuck it, that’s Symphogear. To think it all started with idols . . .