lol, Okay so I know the short answer to my question is practice, but seriously my fingers are killing me. I am mostly just trying to learn F right now.... but even the times it sounds good I can't switch chords fast enough... please tell me it gets easier!

It gets a lot easier. Trust me, it just takes time. Maybe try moving the barre chord around a bit...that helped me improve a lot. For example try just shifting positions 1st fret to 5th fret (F to A)...it may help a lot with getting your fingers stronger and "teaching them" how to fret the chords, all while learning how to change positions!

Hands don't automatically have all the strength needed so you have to build up to it.
Think of it as weightlifting for little tiny muscles in your hands. It takes repetitions and recovery time. Just like doing pullups or pumping iron.

Practice regularly but expect it to take some time. (weeks rather than hours)

I learned Barre chords first, as a sax player doubling on guitar in rock and roll bands (some songs just don't have the good sense to have a sax part).

It's the "cowboy chords" that drive me up a wall. Oh, I'll use them on those songs where they are necessary, but if there is a choice, I'll go for move-able chords first. (move-able - is that a word? - My spell-check says so).

My thumb used to kill me when playing barre chords, until I learned that it isn't about strength as much as it is about finger placement. You don't need the grip of death to play them, you just need to have your hands in the right position. Granted, F is harder because it is closer to the nut, so you might want to practice on G and A first until your hand gets more comfortable.

I learned the lighter grip without realizing it. It just comes with time.

Now I have no problem with them at all, and for most of the music I play, I prefer to use barre and other move-able chords. (there we go, spell check correcting moveable to move-able again).

So just keep at it, with practice your fingers will feel the proper position and you will be able to relax your grip.

I suppose I was lucky when it came to learning barre chords.....back when I got my first guitar, I also got two Beatles albums the same Xmas...62-66 and 67-70. Decided I was going to learn all of them, so I bought a Beatles songbook - complete with chord shapes. One of the first chords I came across was an Eb played xx1343 - basically, a D chord played a fret higher. Then I came across a Gm played at the 3rd fret which changed to a C played in the open position - and thought to myself, it might be easier if I played the C chord at the third fret as well. Some songs I'd transpose to an easier key - but for a lot of them, I couldn't actually find an easier key, so I tried to learn them as written, but started experimenting with barre chord shapes instead of the open chord positions.

I virtually worked out the barre chords from scratch - "hey, if this is an E - 022100 - and this is an F - 133211 - then if I move it up another couple of frets, it'll be a G chord .... 355433...won't it?" and I've used them ever since. I'm just glad no-one told me they were difficult!!!

I have to admit it seemed like i was never going to progress but I finally was able to play the one barre chord in Maggie May the other day........I can't play it fast enough to keep pace with the song but I'm just stoked to be able to let it ring out. But it's taken a long time of just moving up and down the frets trying to pin down all the strings, seems like forever. So there's hope!

The F barre chord is probably the hardest one. You are closer to the nut so the strings are hard to push down and the frets are as far apart as they get. Try another position on the neck to get practiced up. Thats the beauty of a barre chord, each fret you move up on the neck is another chord. F F# G G# A A# B C C# D D# E

And as Vic knows only to well, I had real trouble with barre chords. I still do!! It's a love hate relationship with me and the dreaded barre chords. At home in the seclusion of the practice room I can form them quite well and switch between open chords to barres without too much trouble now.

At open mics on wednesday night it's a different kettle of fish. If there's a barre chord in a song, I'll rooster it up at some stage in the song, I'll kill the strings all together or produce a sound that's nothing like what's expected. I look down and my fingers are all over the place! In fact one song I love, Neil Young's "Out On The Weekend" is now dubbed with a new title by me as:

"B minor Please Be Mine Tonight".

I say this under my breath before starting the song and many times I've failed and ruined my attempts at Bm. I can actually feel myself tensing up as I play when the moment for the dreaded barre chord fretting position approaches.

I still keep putting myself through this torture each week and you never know maybe! just maybe! "B minor will be mine tonight"!!

Chris

The guitar is all right John but you'll never make a living out of it! (John Lennon's Aunt Mimi)