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So far this year, bovine Nicky Morgan grabbed the hotspot for dumbest politician of the year with her dictat that all schools must become academies. No explanation needed, just island-based comparisons: the Scots don’t do it because it is is nonsense and does not improve standards for our kids.

So, of course, she eventually had to back down.

Priti Patel was never going to be a star, but she edged Morgan because she is better looking. She also got a couple of points because she is an alumni of my daughter’s school (Priti wouldn’t even get in there these days – standards have improved).

However, the MP for Witham (aka Hamwit), Minister for Employment, today potted the black ball in the corner pocket. She launched the Save Our Curry Houses campaign, as part of her support for Brexit. Her irrational rationale is that if we exit the EU, we will no longer be forced to allow EU citizens to live and work here, so we will be able to let in more Bangladeshi and Indian citizens to work in our restaurants and stop restaurants going under. Smart, huh?

We have millions of people from the Indian subcontinent living here. I married one. How about encouraging some of them to enter the restaurant industry? A couple of universities do offer degrees in that very British cuisine, but most British Asians would not be keen to work 60 hour weeks for low wages.

Dumb and dumber? Patel gets pole position. And Cameron gets yet another grid penalty for appointing ministers with no intelligence, no skills and no place in government.

Perhaps Patel needs to get on to Just Eat and order a vindaloo tonight? Might clear her head. But then would she know that vindalhao is authentically a pork curry brought to India by Portugese colonialists?