Monday, May 26, 2014

I don't even know who we are anymore

After getting back from a whirlwind one-day road trip at 10:30 last night I was fully expecting the kids to sleep until AT LEAST eight o'clock this morning, especially Charlie and Wes who somehow managed to power through the entire two hour ride home without sleeping, even after spending more than four hours swimming Saturday afternoon, but instead, there was James at 6:30 on the nose, asking if he could go downstairs.

WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN SUGAR MUFFIN! Is not what I said.

But since I wasn't really sleepy anymore and couldn't justify making Ryan wake up and go downstairs just so I could continue lazing in bed reading HuffPo, I went down to join James on the couch for some coffee and Sesame Street.

Imagine my delight when I clicked over to the radar and saw the looming MCS (large rainstorm) looming to our west and headed our way. Several things made this especially exciting today: it is a day off of school and work, we had nowhere to go, and PBS Kids was on ALLLLLL DAAAAYYYY LOOONNNG.

The day just got way more fun.

I happily puttered around all morning, making the kids the awesome Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Toast we all love, loading the dishwasher, reading, changing someone's pants here and there, and obsessively checking the radar every five minutes. Then I thought "Hey! Since we have this whole day of doing nothing I'm going to catch up on the laundry!

So I loaded all my trip clothes from my suitcase into the washer and started it up. The rain started falling and soft thunder rolled in the distance. I made a cup of coffee and sipped it slowly, leaning back against the counter, enjoying the cozy lamp-lit living room and happy kid-noise.

(Mostly it was quiet because I told Charlie and Wes no one could play xBox without first taking a forty-five minute nap. Because they got 65% of their normal sleep and it SHOWED. No one slept but Charlie discovered the joy of reading in bed on a rainy day.)

It was in the midst of this tranquil scene that I opened the lid of the washer to switch the clothes to the dryer and found them STILL FOLDED AND CAKED WITH DETERGENT. Feeling somewhat less zen, I grabbed the pair of jeans I had planned to wear today, which was completely covered with gooey detergent paste, and stalked out to Ryan in the living room.

"CAN WE GET A WASHING MACHINE THAT DOESN'T SUCK?!" I inquired.

"Sure!" he said. And pointed his browser to the website of a large appliance retailer.

"Because if I have to now run the WASHER twice in addition to the two times I already have to run the DRYER I am going to LOSE MY EVERLOVING MIND."

This moment has been coming for some time.

"Do you want one with higher capacity than we have now? Or do you like what we have? Front loader or top loader?"

I thought he must be mocking me. I asked him if he was and he said no, he's been thinking about getting a new washer and dryer for six months. THIS was a plan I could get behind!

Charlie was distraught because he is unaccustomed to us spending money. Most things normal people buy at stores come into our house via a family sharing network that rivals that of the Mafia. Need a fridge? Aunt so and so's neighbor was renovating and has this one she can't use anymore, would you like it? What about a car? Well great-aunt someone just gave uncle someone else her car so now he can pass his to your dad so he can give his to you. We really only buy food and toothbrushes new.

I was... confused... because any large outlay of capital typically requires several weeks of tension, myriad discussions, hours of Craigslist browsing, and threats to just buy the fridge/car/couch/house while you are at work if you can't just make a decision already.

After a fifteen minute conversation with Charlie about how we save money MOST of the time so that when we need something big and expensive SOMETIMES we can buy it without worrying about it. We also explained that we got this washer and dryer used for FREE TWELVE YEARS AGO when my parents' neighbors moved out of the country and that Ryan's been nursing it along with a new motor here, a dubiously safe rewiring job there for the last seven years. And let's not forget about the six-month period after James was born when we had to DIAPER THE WASHER WITH A BATH TOWEL LEST IT LEAK GALLONS OF WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR. And that now we have to run every load through each machine twice which is, obviously, quite wasteful in terms of time and money and Mommy's mental health. It is time to REPLACE THE FREAKING WASHER.

Ryan narrowed his preferences down to two models, I picked out the one I liked best, and he added them to his cart.

They will be delivered a week from today also known as ten loads of laundry from now. That's a day after my birthday but Ryan would like you all to know that this is NOT a birthday present.

Other good news: more rain is headed our way overnight. CHRISTMAS MORNING, YOU GUYS.

1 comment:

Yay! And yes, that's exactly why we save money, so that you can occasionally buy a new appliance when the old one stops working right. (My DH has also replaced the motor on our washer and our dishwasher. Engineers rock.)

Me

The Odd Couple

Charlie (on the right) and Wes. On the beginning of Animal House, Charlie would be in the frat with the navy blazers and oxfords while Wes would be on double secret probation. They laugh, they cry, they have mud fights, they encourage each other to dance naked on the patio table. Most of all, they are brothers and they love each other. Violently.

The Kid who Thinks He's Still a Baby

James loves Mary, his brothers, and his parents, in that order. He's fiercely independent, but will tell anyone who will listen that he's still a baby. He's Mary's number one fan and has a doll he likes to dress in her clothes.

Baby Girl

Mary was born in August, the youngest and a girl in a house full of testosterone. She is laid back and happy and totally impervious to noise.

The Husband

Ryan, husband extroidanaire, smartypants engineer, throws small children many feet into the air, appreciates all attempts at cooking, "the fun one", supports the family with a smile, makes great pies.