Once Upon A Time In Harlem New York in February is never great, but back in 1929 it was unbearable.

The weather sucked, of course, and prohibition meant it was hard to get a stiff drink in a hurry. But the Dragonmirs, a vampire clan from Romania really made life tough. Once they’d finished wiping out New York’s gangs they turned their attention to the Police. Their plan – to take over the city, keep humans like livestock and wake up the oldest vampire in existence to seal the deal. Mankind’s feeble hopes lie with a young female newspaper reporter, a weak and dying member of the Dragonmir family and a one-eared, one eyed former gang boss named Eddie Falco hoping to persuade Samuel Kane and his gang of Harlem racketeteers to join them.

Oh, and a giant alien with unbelievable weapons called Squeed. Sounds about even, then.