The Modern Teenager: An Infographic

navigate the perils of being a parent of a teenager

I've only been the parent to a teenager for a few years, but I was a teenager from ages 13 through 25, so I think I've got a pretty good handle on teens and teenage behaviour. Sure, teenagers today face a unique and different set of challenges than we the previous generation did, but that's how it goes. We didn't have to worry about Facebook pictures and cell phone privacy issues, but our kids don't have to worry about their parents picking up the extension line on the rumpus room rotary phone and over-hearing our plans to totally ditch third period science to stand in a line-up for Def Leppard concert tickets. Kids nowadays can do that shit online.

I just said "nowadays," so maybe I should just move on to my larger point. Or maybe I should just avoid using words entirely, so here's a handy infographic for you. If your kids aren't yet teenagers, maybe print it out for future references, but print it out now because when your daughter is 11 years old she is going to use all of your printer ink on One Direction iron-on transfers.

Jeni Marinucci is a freelance writer with a school-age son and a teenage daughter. She has a guilty conscience, a love for humour, and a questionable home-haircut. After her children were old enough to make their own sandwiches, she returned to University to complete her B.A. in English Literature—a designation which has provided her with an extensive library and crushing student loans. When no teaching college wanted her, she had to choose between taking orders through a drive-thru window or from an editor. She chose the latter.

Jeni's son wants her attention and her teenager wants anything but. Her neighbours wish she would cut her lawn. Jeni also blogs at highlyirritable and can be found on Twitter at @highlyirritable.