Commemorate the outgoing year of 2008 with these nostalgic progressive haikus. Feel the paradigm shift as the clock strikes 12 and we move from the Year of Bush to the Year of Obama!

(Just as progressive poets have liberated the verse from the oppression of rhyme, we have liberated our haikus from the archaic 5-7-5 syllable restriction, which was a purely bourgeois formality. Who needs to count? Report them to the nearest ACLU officer!)

~

Unwashed masses! The only thing not smelly is the money you give us.

For love and for hate We take away from the rich and give to the hookers.

We must change the country with a focus on nature - oh, look, a squirrel!

Every Rorschach inkblot looks like George Bush with horns. Psychiatric evaluations are torture!

I'm opening at random a copy of the New York Times. The income gap is deepening.

This morning I brushed granola flakes from my beard. 25 days left until Bush leaves office!

Together we can build a new habitat for humanity with our hammers and sickles.

A giant SUV: one gallon, two gallon, three gallons. Why is Bush still in power?

Without marijuana leaf How can we struggle for social justice?

I was drinking my latte While reading the New York Times. Will I survive this winter?

The Soviet Union is dead and yet - isn't there still something remaining in us?

The bumper sticker before me says that our planet is doomed. The guilt is unbearable.

You raise awareness, and I raise awareness. Utopia is around the corner.

Imams praying on the plane - ask them, which public building will be blown up next.

Flies drop dead as I write. How many civil liberties will also be dead today?

Having refused fossil fuels how lonely I feel in the cold of night!

A lovely thing to see: on my computer screen, real women.

A lonely comment posted on my very progressive blog - with a link to Viagra.

Bush lied today. Tomorrow poor children Will be all dead.

After flying on a private jet I bought carbon credits And feel smug again

You made a profit and now you must share. The community is watching.

Work makes me desperate. I will vote many times for Barack the Avenger.

"Nostalig Progressive"? Wait, does it mean The Past is Progress? I'm confused. Must be Bush's fault.Wasn't the entire progressive movement, historically speaking, a nostalgic reaction to industrialization and capitalism? Behind the progressive idea of a powerful benevolent state taking care of the little people is the old myth of a benevolent overlord caring for his subjects without such silly distractions like the individual rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

What motivated and united the spiritually-minded progressives was their confused, irrational revulsion of the perceived materialism of the markets, which they attacked much like Don Quixote attacked the windmills thinking they were the dragons. The elitist progressives resented the markets, competition, and growing productivity of labor that took the power away from the deserving aristocratic elites and gave it to the undeserving lowly business people - only because they produced our food, clothes, houses, tools, medicine, increased life expectancy, reduced the share of stupefying hard manual labor through innovation, and increased the share of clean, professional, high-paying jobs, which even further reduced the dependency of the individual commoner on the caring elites. The ingrates! That led to the rise of Don Quixote - the archetypal early progressive fighter against the materialistic bourgeoisie.

Any progressive would be proud of a comparison with the idealistic Don Quixote. But it's not the idealism that makes it wrong - it's the direction in which this idealism is going.

The road to renewed spirituality and communal living is clear: punish the achievers, tax the productive, expropriate the capitalist property, reduce labor productivity, shorten life expectancy lest the Social Security program bankrupts the nation, decrease the share of clean, professional, high-paying jobs, and increase the share of stupefying hard manual labor - which is what Obama's shovel-ready infrastructure projects are about. Give up your computer and grab a shovel - the future looks bright!

Only a thoroughly delusional moonbat or a crooked demagogue would call such regress a "progress." But that's what this absurdity is called - "progress." Obama talks about taking the country to the 21st century. That is an insult to everyone who worked hard to take it there. Where Obama is objectively taking the country, though, is back to the beginning of the 20th century at best. It might as well be 1605 when Don Quixote was written.

Did you know I named my horse, Rocinante after Don Quixote's horse? There is a blog called Quixote's Horse that stands up for all we believe in (that is, really believe in) here at the Cube:

"Every man has something of Don Quixote in his Humour, some darling Dulcinea of his Thoughts, that sets him very often upon mad Adventures. What Quixotes does not every Age produce in Politics and Religion, who fancying themselves to be in the right of something, which all the world tells 'em is wrong...?" - MotteauxRocinante... that was the name of Don Quixote's skinny old horse.QUIXOTE'S HORSE is dedicated to tirelessly exposing the lies and hypocrisy of governments, corporations and individuals wherever we may find them.

If I really had a horse, (and I did at one time) I would name him Rocinante!

"Nostalig Progressive"? Wait, does it mean The Past is Progress? I'm confused. Must be Bush's fault.Wasn't the entire progressive movement, historically speaking, a nostalgic reaction to industrialization and capitalism? Behind the progressive idea of a powerful benevolent state taking care of the little people is the old myth of a benevolent overlord caring for his subjects without such silly distractions like the individual rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

...

Does it mean we should go back to living in a cave? Hey, Osama lives in a cave, no? I heard he's progressive.

Happy holidays from Change for many peopleThis holiday season comes at a time of great hardshipThat we can serve one another - Happy Holidays

Quote:

Barack Obama and Joe Biden have a planImmediate Action to Create Good Jobs in AmericaImmediate Relief for Struggling FamiliesA Rapid, Aggressive Response to Our Financial CrisisUsing All the Tools We Have - Economy Agenda

Quote:

We share a common destinyThat I am my brother’s keeperI am my sister’s keeperWe must all do our part to serve one another - President-Elect Obama Delivers

Sup Holmes!? Keepin' yo pimp hand strong? Did you get the 40 of O-E I sent you for Changemas?

I started a new thread in the Gulag for Trolls about Change.gov and my efforts to rattle some tinfoil contribute to their glorious page. What's funny is that most of the supporters of The One are not fully devoted. I see many future shovel-wielders for my Gulags! They dare to mention things like God and they question The One. They doubt the Change. Their Thumb-up/Thumb-down system gives Power to the People in reporting their peers! They contradict each other and seem to have trouble identifying the proper party line. Our Obamissar of Current Truth must ensure these rouge elements are brought in line...

Sup Holmes!? Keepin' yo pimp hand strong? Did you get the 40 of O-E I sent you for Changemas?

I started a new thread in the Gulag for Trolls about Change.gov and my efforts to rattle some tinfoil contribute to their glorious page. What's funny is that most of the supporters of The One are not fully devoted. I see many future shovel-wielders for my Gulags! They dare to mention things like God and they question The One. They doubt the Change. Their Thumb-up/Thumb-down system gives Power to the People in reporting their peers! They contradict each other and seem to have trouble identifying the proper party line. Our Obamissar of Current Truth must ensure these rouge elements are brought in line...

Perhaps a few well timed drivebys might help to affect Change.

Good work Comrade. I understand that the Dot-Gov site is altering/deleting controversial/unwanted posts. They had a "disclaimer" that their feed-back blog-response section was run by a non-governmental entity--sorta "I wasn't Me" defense of why is da gubment deletin records.

(I love your avatar. It reminds me of a Mosin I once held tight. She had the Ту́ла arms factory logo engraved on her receiver. She wasn't Finned, but was reworked as a '59 . She sure was sweet. But I had to let her go; I was broke. Please feel free to keep that as your avatar.)

Yo Comrade Cradle! Glad you like and understand my avatar. I do have one of those reworked Finn M39's. But I'm selling it tomorrow as I can't stand the sights. (Yes I know, I've committed blasphemy in the eyes of the collective) Nice rifle, but if I can't make out the sights well enough to hit the target.... I still have a Model 91/30 Mosin Nagant, a very sweet Tula SKS, and am building an AK from a Romanian parts kit.

I have a friend with two model 59 Mosins, both from the Izmash arsenal, like my 91/30. I may buy one from him. If you've got $129 or so, classicarms.us still has M91/59's available. I think I like the Mosin Nagant over any other bolt action rifle. I used to be a mauser snob until I discovered the world of Mosins. I should have registered as Comrade762 but I wasn't thinking, and was cleaning my revolver at the time... Oh well.

Comrade Leader Red Cube, is it possible to change my Revolutionary name to Comrade762, in order to better reflect the glorious rifles I hold so dear?

You and the Innostranyi Otdel write haikus that could compete with the bard himself. Please do not misunderstand me, I do not refer to The Bard which is the omniscient Obamamessiah himself (may he reign forever) but sadly the bard which of course is just Shakespeare.

Please bear with and forgive this woefully ignorant Prole but what is the above quoted Haiku in reference to? If you feel that I need to know……

I am lamenting the fact that my selfish needs are outweighing the greater good of the people and I must work on the most glorious and long awaited anointing of our new Leader. Here are my thoughts. This has been helpful in my suffering.

WHY? must we work onthe most important day ofour sad life? Blame Bush.

While the fortunateones free of the burdenof work enjoy a parade?

Oh! To be there toexperience the joy! Joy!Hail the Messiah!!

Fair and Balanced willbe my only eye that day.Sean will be there. Woot.

Woe to the oppressedand selfish ones not willingto call in sick...or gay.

Thank you for your acknowledgement of my selfless production. Placing me atop the ashcan of poetic history beneath which the bard lies is an honour this prole's shoulders can barely bear (ah, I could not help myself to the pun aided by the above graphic of our Sasha).

Which brings me to Comrade Innostanyi Otdel, to whom I express thanks for clarifying the details on the esteemed former Congressperson from Louisiana.

Comrade Leader Red Cube, is it possible to change my Revolutionary name to Comrade762, in order to better reflect the glorious rifles I hold so dear?Go to your profile (in Grouptink) and change your name, password, avatar, or anything else you deem necessary to advance the class struggle. You can even use spaces and any other superfluous bourgeois niceties.

After the revolution, of course, all non-standard characters shall be eliminated and spaces replaced by underscores. Everything will be lower case only - except for the PARTY LEADERS whose ENTIRE NAMES will be ALWAYS spelled with UPPER CASE.

FYI, whenever you change your name or your avatar, all your posts on the Cube get automatically updated with those changes. And, just so you don't forget, the Cube collective is right behind you. The community is watching. Closely. Very closely.

After the revolution, of course, all non-standard characters shall be eliminated and spaces replaced by underscores. Everything will be lower case only - except for the PARTY LEADERS whose ENTIRE NAMES will be ALWAYS spelled with UPPER CASE.

Red Square looks kindly on your haiku endeavors. Make sure you collect a sample of that warm tickle to be placed in the future Museum of the Revolution aka the Obama Memorial Library.

Skinnee Jay -

Capitalization only exists in written languages developed and used by White Europeans and their descendants in colonies around the world (aka The Western Civilization). Since the Western Civilization is as evil and unsustainable as the White Man himself, all their trademark inventions are also evil and unsustainable. Hence the elimination of capitalization in all progressive writing of late, especially on the Internet.

Whenever you think someone is too lazy or uneducated to use capital letters, think again! That is, in fact, a protest against the oppressive language rules imposed by the Western capitalist hegemonists on the masses in order to diminish the self-esteem of the unwashed, which makes it easier to subjugate them.

Part of our revolutionary strategy has been to raise the confidence and self-esteem of the unwashed - and we are succeeding! Today the average unwashed feels 60% more confident than the unwashed of the Eisenhower administration, and 100% more confident than those of the Jefferson administration. In fact, today's unwashed feel as if they had just come out of the shower every minute of the day - without even having to use soap or other personal hygiene products for months! Just ask Michael Rudolph, who is a borderline genius, about his borderline use of soap and a comb.

Permit me if you will if I share a bit of wisdom I just posted in another thread that I believe relates to the subject of capitalism and progressive thinking:

....Actually, I am shocked that people would be upset about Blogovich. When you think about it, even a progressive government such as we are establishing is in a sense the epitome of capitalism. "How can you say that Marshal?" one may ask. Simple comrades. The State offers services and tangibles to the people. In return, we take OPM for these goods and services. Now what sort of business would not charge a percentage of profit for those goods and services? None of course. What system of government would claim they do not make a profit on these goods and services? Why, Communist™ of course! And WE, the Party here in the USSA are not Communist™ are we comrades? (Everyone nod "no way!") No! Of course not! We are progressive socialists! So we are allowed to take a little off the top so to speak, for our delivery of goods and services. So what if Blogovich chose to do this without advertising his dealings? Why nothing of course! If he weren't so clumsy abot it, we could say "He's our guy!"

As you can see, in the end, we take these "nominal profits" so that we can do more For the Common Good™! In the end, it's all For the Children™! You feel it in the end don't you comrade?

Yes, yes, I know. Sasha the Gulag Dancing Bear will flaggelate me for every cursed syllable of filth I just posted...

Not necessarily Comrade, provided you know the name this god goes by, "The State" or "The Party." It is the State that has promised us all better things, who will command the ocean levels to drop, and from whom all hope for change will come.

Ah, it is very good to hear! For when they come for you, there is evidence that your reactionary backsliding could not be helped due to pre-existing conditions, including being human. As you know, socialism is no laughing matter!

:-)

Comrade Marshal Pupovich,

There is in Japan a line of men's clothing called Pearly Gates. It is targeted at men middle-aged and older, especially golfers. There are plenty of Japanese Christians, but I think the English meaning is lost on them. I would love to know how and why the clothing line's name was chosen.

There is in Japan a line of men's clothing called Pearly Gates. It is targeted at men middle-aged and older, especially golfers. There are plenty of Japanese Christians, but I think the English meaning is lost on them. I would love to know how and why the clothing line's name was chosen.

There is in Japan a line of men's clothing called Pearly Gates. It is targeted at men middle-aged and older, especially golfers. There are plenty of Japanese Christians, but I think the English meaning is lost on them. I would love to know how and why the clothing line's name was chosen.

And glorious film "Heaven's Gate" told of utopian American communism! Where religion would be opiate of masses.

I confess I contributed to its awful failure as a capitalistic venture by never seeing it, however.

I did see a film once called "The Kingdom of Heaven's Gate Can Wait Until Dark", in which the evil Christians tried to defeat the freedom fighters of the Crusades but were distracted by the ghost of Mohammed who returned to establish jihad in the US west by planting a doll with explosives on Audrey Hepburn, but she outwitted them and became the leader of a commune where everyone had nice jewelry. But it wasn't that interesting.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand