Shawn Carter > John Carter

If there’s one thing I love, it’s rap music. If there are two things I love, they’re rap music and action-y action movies. And if there are three things I love, they’re rap music, action-y action movies, and crappy things that are haphazardly thrown together. (This is why my favorite movie is “any movie starring DMX.”) So it should come as no surprise that this trailer for Shawn Carter has me all giggles and bubble gum over here.

Basically, some hero took the trailer for John Carter, put a picture of Jay-Z (real name, Shawn Carter) over Taylor Kitsch’s face during the whole thing, and replaced his dialogue with lines from Jay-Z’s songs. It not particularly “good” or “seamless” by any means. It looks kind of like one of those little kid art projects where you make a doll by gluing someone’s picture onto the top of a popsicle stick, but that’s part of its charm. If it was any slicker, I probably wouldn’t like it. The only downside is that it’s so simple and perfect that now I’m furious I didn’t come up with it first.

This almost seems a bit too in your wheelhouse not to be done by you, DG. Perhaps you’re living a sweet double-life while you sleep – making all kinds of hastily-assembled-yet-straight-from-the-heart YouTube videos? What next, a collection of Saved By the Bell cast members delivering lines edited to look as though they’re singing “Shimmy Shimmy Ya”?

Even more than that John Carter is the name of this movie I know that THE IMMORTALS IS COMING OUT OMG MY EYES ARE BLEEDING AND I KIND OF WANTED TO SEE THAT MOVIE BUT NOW I’M AFRAID MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE AIIIIIIEEE