It's official: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have blown through their $10 Million fortune and now they're buh-ROKE. HA! If this were anyone else, I'd feel some pity, but keep in mind that they "earned" that $10 Million during a time of recession by embodying the absolute worst aspects of humanity. Everyone point and laugh at the assholes! (popbytes)

The teaser poster for Mel Gibson's The Beaver has been released and... actually, you know what? It feels right. Crazy Mel? Check. Ball bustin' beaver? Check. They couldn't have planned this better if they tried. (Screen Junkies)

The track list for the next Glee compilation has been released, and for those of you wondering what Gwyneth Paltrow's going to be singing on the show? It's Cee-Lo's "Fuck You". Aaaaaaaand I just shit a brick. (Vulture)

Now that October has pretty much been given the boot, here's a neat little quiz about the month of November, the most depressing month of the year. At least in Canada anyway. Seriously, it's cold, snowless, AND you already blew your Thanksgiving-wad. What gives, November? (Litely Salted)

Here's an interview with Amy Sedaris, who in my opinion is actually funnier than her brother. I'm sorry, but it's true: The woman is a national fucking treasure. (A.V. Club)

Alert! Alert! Tom Brady has a sense of humor about his hair. (UglyFours)

A ten-year-old Romanian girl who immigrated to Spain gave birth to a healthy six pound baby and her mother is perfectly happy with the fact that her ten-year-old daughter just gave birth. To which I say: Oh fuck this shit, I'm just going to go make a suicide now. (Zelda Lily)

Hilary Duff is going to be guesting on Community this week, and as is usually the case with good girls that do guest spots, she's going to be playing a bitch. Still, this is fucking Community we're talking about, and if these two promo clips are any indication, it'll still be fantastic. (The Flickcast)

Charlie Sheen has apparently hired himself a sober coach, which I think we can all agree is probably total bullshit. Seriously, the guy shot a woman, held a knife to his wife's throat, and was found drunk, high and naked in a bathroom screaming the n-word because a pornstar wouldn't fuck him. The man could hunt puppies for sport and no one would bat an eye. (Yeeeah!)

If there are two things that will always make Pajiba Love, they are Paul Rudd and embarrassing old commercials. Oh, and a little bit of old school Nintendo never hurts either. Therefore, I give you this old commercial Paul Rudd did for the Super Nintendo. (Unreality)

Oh look, Amy Winehouse released a cover of "It's My Party", and she basically sounds like a gigantic drunk wailing into an empty bottle of peach schnapps. (Evil Beet)

This is too adorable for words: A five-year-old boy decided he wanted to dress up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween, and his mother pretty much proceeded to verbally bitch slap anyone who had a problem with it. See kids? Sometimes it even gets better right fucking now. (NerdyAppleBottom)

Awwww, Kendra Wilkinson is all sad now because she's a single mother, except not really because she's still married to her husband who just happens to work away from home, and has fuckloads of money and nannies. Quick! Someone start up the world's smallest string quartet! (Dlisted)

Holy shit, George Takei is fucking badass. Seriously, between this video and that episode of Star Trek where you run around shirtless with a rapier? Marry me.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.