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you want me to bring you home the bacon fry it up and serve it to you, too when i don’t you act so godforsaken like somehow i’ve been mistreatin’ you i know that’s the way your mama did it she waited on you dang near all your life it took a while but now i finally get it you were never lookin’ for a wife

[chorus] if you want a mother i can be one that ain’t all that difficult for me we can do your way from now on, son and i’ll show you what a mother i can be

remember tuesday night when you’re out bowling you better have your b*tt back home by nine otherwise you’re grounded for the weekend and that brand new sliverado will be mine and in the evenin’ when you’re feeling sleepy well, i’ll tuck you in and pat you on your head and i’ll be right down the hall if you should need me but big boys have to sleep in their own bed

[repeat chorus]

you can go on back to mama’s apr*n strings bet your mom would be a mother just like me