Thursday, April 8, 2010

Another Miracle in 2010

Impossible. This icon of my patron saint, St. Elizabeth, hangs in our house. Little did I know the words on her scroll would apply to me. Sure, the NaPro medications have been helping me, but I saw it more as a means to help my overall health, that a pregnancy would never happen.

The short story? Miracle of Miracles, I am pregnant. Did I really just type those words? Assuming everything goes well, the baby is due November 13th.

My husband and I were absolutely shocked when we saw the 2 lines on the home pregnancy test. I had completely oriented my thinking towards adoption, so the thought of a pregnancy took some time to sink in. Additionally, I immediately became fearful of miscarriage. As Living Advent thankfully resassured me, many women who get pregnant after IF still have to deal with anxiety and fear.

My whole world has been rocked since a couple weeks ago. Because several friends in real life read my blog, I did not want to reveal the pregnancy until we heard the heartbeat at the ultrasound. It has been hard to carry this silently, especially as I long for my IF friends to experience the same thing.

Yes, the "IF guilt" does exist. I felt especially bad as I had embraced adoption whole-heartedly, accepting the fact that pregnancy would probably not happen. Now that I've received this gift, my heart still aches for my dear friends who are waiting. As my mom (who endured Infertility 30 years ago) said, you never forget the IF journey. Never. I never will forget. And looking back, I appreciate the "fruits" that have come from the journey of IF: a stronger marriage, less fear of blood tests (thank you, NaPro hormone profile), getting to appear on Johnette Bankovich's show, meeting so many wonderful bloggers, the SHE group, and even more.

After announcing the joyful news on Facebook, I felt so humbled at the myriad of congrats and good wishes. Sure, every pregnancy is cause for rejoicing, but I was amazed that so many people have been "rooting" for us to become parents.

As a side note, many well-meaning people have been telling me, "It's because you pursued adoption." I answer with, "It's BECAUSE of adoption that I lost weight and became healthier, which probably helped the medication to work better." Besides, we want at least 2 children, so adopting from Korea is still a possibility.

I hope this post hasn't been too scrambled, because my thoughts have definitely resembled a messy omelet! I definitely plan on continuing this blog and will most likely create a separate blog when Baby Buford (in-utero nickname) comes. Grace in My Heart is my hero blogger; she finds time to post regularly amid taking care of gorgeous Baby E.

To copy Fertile Thoughts and Tucked Beneath His Wing, here's what I was doing when this miracle occurred.

Lifestyle:

Began eating a 1500-calorie diet

Weights 3 times a week

Cardio 3 times a week

A wonderful class of 4th grade girls

Excellent support from fellow SHE groupers

Medication:

HCG shots

400mgs Time-released B6

Naltrexone (sorry, I don't recall the dosage)

Amoxic.illan (the evil drug that made me break out in hives)

Fem.ara

Pre-Natal Vitamin (when I remembered)

Prayers that I did not merit:

So many family

So many friends

2 wonderful Prayer Buddies

quite a few priests & brothers

1 convent of Poor Clares (aka "The Big Guns")

1 awesome Carmelite sister

2 awesome Nashville Dominican Sisters

Thanks to all of you for walking with me. I have some funny stories to post, but this one is long enough already. Please stay with me in the months ahead; it's still a scary journey. And please know my prayers continue for all of my IF friends. God bless!

19 comments:

Congratulations! And you already have a heartbeat - DOUBLE contratulations!

I know the after-IF guilt is very real and you probably feel stuck b/w 2 worlds. You have more anxiety than the average PG woman and don't relate with them just yet (PLUS you had packed that pregnancy dream up long ago), yet you worry about us and still feel our fears. I do understand, but your job now is to focus on taking care of yourself (mentally & physically) and baby.

CONGRATULATIONS! This is such great news. I have not been able to keep up with blogs much, but do check people's blog rolls to see if it looks like anyone has pregnancy announcements. I can't wait to get a chance to read your full story, but I am off to the airport. I did skim and see that you already had an utlrasound and saw the heartbeat - that is awesome! Praying for a healthy pregnancy for you.

Congratulations! The Lord has given you a tremendous gift, not only the gift of new life but also the gift of walking in IF shoes. Use this experience to support, encourage and walk with others on the IF journey. You have a unique bond with them. Those on the IF journey are the heroes and heroines we should all look up to. I am amazed at their courage, strength and perseverence - and that goes for you too! :-)

Congratulations!!!! I am so excited for you and I loved your post - your humility and gratefullness to God are so very evident and I am in awe of your joy! I can't wait to continue following your blog on this journey of joy and love. Yes, the fear of miscarriage is real, but I will pray that Mary will hold you close and help you to let go all fear and anxiety. God Bless you and GROW, BABY GROW!

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. Ever since seeing you on Johnette's show I've been routing for you! Isn't God amazing? You will continue to be in my prayers on your journey to motherhood. Try to enjoy it as much as you can. Know that God is in control. It is His mercy that gives us these blessings.

Thrilled for you beyond belief. You held in that secret so well-we are due only about a week apart and here I have been blabbing and blabbing...Did I mention how happy I am for you?! So many prayers going to you and baby!

About Me

I've been so blessed to endure the journey of infertility with my husband and the prayers of family and friends. After 3.5 years of waiting, I gave birth to our baby girl in November 2010. What an amazing journey.