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5.9.12

A sleeping situation update..

I had this post sat in my drafts unwritten with just these pictures for some weeks. Its a hard post to write in many ways as I like my posts to have some kind of conclusion 'here was the issue, here is how we resolved it' but with the sleep thing..I guess we are still muddling along.The new kind of hilarious set up is that we put up the cot at the end of my 'my bed' Tom has our bed to the right of this cot and bed (I would have photographed the whole room but it was way to messy for that). We joke that we have 'mummy bear's, daddy bear's and baby bear's beds' its lucky our bedroom is kind of huge.So anyway the idea was, put the cot up for Wilf to have naps in and to sleep in the evening and then if he woke up when we came to bed he would come back in with me. So far he has maybe slept in there twice?? And each time for no longer than 40 mins..he hates it. I mean he is ok-ish playing in it when I get dressed/go to the bathroom but other than that he is totally confused about why I would have in there and not our comfy bed. The whole sleeping in there in the day is totally a no go at the moment (not that I have tried very hard in all honestly) the only way Wilf will sleep in the day is if he is rocked or 'boobed' to sleep and those times are so precious to me doing anything that I feel I cant risk missing them trying to battle with him to sleep somewhere he isn't happy at the moment.That all being said, my friend lent me this book, The No-Cry sleep solution which I read from start to finish on our 5 and half journey up to Durham. I loved it and its suggestions really made sense to me. What I especially loved was that it didn't imply that sleeping with your baby was ever a bad thing, it even has different sections of solutions for different sleeping arrangements and one for co-sleeping. It also advises that before you start any of the ideas you should ask yourself if the reason you are doing this is because you want a change or because you are being told your baby should be doing something it isn't. It even says (and I agree) that waking in the night next to your snugly baby rooting and nursing in the small hours can be one of the nicest parts of motherhood. A special moment that only you and your baby can share, it is truly magical. The thing is, although I spent many months thinking the same thing, I have now got to a point where the sleep deprivation is too much and I am ready for a change.This book was such a relief to read as it reaffirmed my belief that we can gently get Wilf to sleep better without any tears. It also states (as many articles I have read recently have done also) that sleeping through is a myth, babies wake up when their sleep cycle of 40 mins or so ends. However some babies are able to put themselves back to sleep easily after waking without waking their parents seemingly sleeping through. Our problem is that Wilf is currently unable to do this and needs me to put him back to sleep.Although I do agree with the ideas in this book I know it will still take a lot of effort and perseverance. A good friend of mine used these techniques and after two months her baby wakes only once in the night. This is a huge comfort to me as I am not looking for a quick solution rather than a gradual and gentle process.So there you go, a slightly rambley post with no real conclusion rather than this is where we are and I'll let you know how we get on..wish us luck! xo

10 comments:

good luck! (<-- in a positive way, not a sarcastic one haha) My two year old still doesn't sleep through the night every night and recently went through a 2+ish month phase of waking every single night. But in the last few weeks, several times a week, she's slept from 8pm-7am in her own big girl bed without waking up. But when she wakes during the night we usually just bring her into our bed and go back to sleep. There is no "right way" for sure. x

I feel your pain! But it does get better, and trying the suggestions in that book help, and making little steps slowly to changing the sleeping situation. You will get there! It never seemed like we would, but at 18 months, lots of hard work and a few changes we are there, all without many tears, and definitely no leaving them in a room to 'cry it out'

Fritha I always feel that we are going through the same things! I'm sure loads of mums are but usually the ones I meet babies sleep through! Anyway, we've been gradually trying to get Delilah to sleep better and I really think she is getting a little better, now Ian goes to her sometimes instead of me and it really has seemed to help, there are no tears and we've almost got it down to 2/3 wake ups rather than the usual every couple of hours! (probably will all go back to normal now I've said it out loud!)I think we'll both get there eventually :) xxxx

@georgia I thought the other day that I couldn't remember if I replied to your other comment on a recent post. I wanted to say I really appreciate that I know we are going through the same things! In fact I wanted to say that I have always been thankful for your comments, in late pregnancy and with D's birth and reassuring me it would all be fine!I think we are quite similar people & feel so revealed (in the nicest possible way) that you are going through the same things!hurrah for 2/3 wake ups! xx