Wednesday, June 23, 2010

When I was a boy, I used to pretend to be a drug addict.

Most people know that I grew up surrounded by drugs and alcohol and all sorts of unscrupulous acts that no child should have to bear witness to.
This is besides the attempted rape and murders by random hoodlums, maintenance men and creepy basement dwelling fat guys I had to dodge every so often, among other things.
When you're raised like that, certain aspects of even bad scenarios seem like they're what life is all about, it's what you're shown, it's what you see and believe, and it’s what you perceive to be acceptable.
This is why I felt that being a drug addict seemed so cool when I was a lad.

I've seen it firsthand from my parents, my aunts and uncles, family friends, etc; these people were out at all hours of the night, partying until the sun came out, having sex with everyone, meeting new people all the time and not having a care in the world.
What wasn't to like?
You tell me.
This was like THE life, if there ever was a definition needed to define the best kind of life to live in my eyes.
Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't some retard who didn't know right from wrong, I had seen enough movies to know what everyone around me was doing was wrong , but that doesn't mean they didn't seem to be enjoying themselves.
So with all that abound, I would pretend to be an addict because it was pretty damn fun.
I'd smash up candies like smarties into dust, or make lines with pixie sticks powder and snort the shit out of that.
Any small candies were pretend narcotics and any beverage was a pretend beer.

I remember seeing Robocop (several times that night actually, after being left in the theater by my mother, who proceeded to go enjoy herself) and there's a scene where Bob Morton is having a party and he's sniffing Cocaine off of a hooker's tits.
This was the greatest thing I've ever seen at that point.
THIS WAS INCREDIBLE!
This guy was doing lines off of a hooker's tits!
OFF HER TITS!
I mean, what more could a kid aspire to do in his life?
That was a goal of mine, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a detective, to be wealthy and to also sniff blow off of a hooker's rack.
That was my dream.
I probably still aim to do this in life, although, it might be considered breach of the contractual obligations of marriage.
And I also don't do drugs.
Still, it would be a great experience to go on my resume.

Nowadays, I hate drugs and alcohol and addictive bullshit and stay the hell away from it all.
Not because it will tempt me to sniff blow off of a hooker's tits, which would still be awesome, but because I never knew how terrible my life was until I was old enough to look back and go "wow, that was a pretty fucked up life I had”, that's why I steer clear of it, I don't need a do-over.

In retrospect, I wouldn't change much, probably nothing of the past, because then I'd be different, and not only would I be a weaker person, I feel, but I'd probably be into drugs and all that crap, and I would probably have already sniffed blow off of a hooker's tits, though she would have been an ill reputable type of hooker, not the foxes Bob Morton was about to get it on with.

From your eyes, my childhood might have been a terrible mess, which it definitely was, but from my eyes, it was actually pretty fun at times , especially when I watched Robocop and sniffed pretend blow and got busy with the neighborhood girls at 6 -7 years old, but that's a story for another time.