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Man Forced To Finish Batting Helmet Full Of Nachos After Girlfriend Only Eats Three Chips

Posted by
Ben Remington
,
07 April 2017
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2,248 views

-SHTICKBALL-

Yesterday afternoon at a major league baseball game, Cody Goldstein, 26, had to endure the pain and subsequent later consequences of eating an entire baseball helmet full of tortilla chips, liquid cheese jalapenos, and a meat-like substance. This unfortunate turn of events came about when Cody’s girlfriend, Amber, only ate approximately three chips, thus fulfilling her craving for the salty snack.

“That was rough, polishing that whole thing off, but I was able to power through it.” Goldstein said in a postgame interview “The problem is, I think the worst is yet to come, if you catch my drift.”

It’s unclear at this time how much Cody actually wanted said nachos, but it has been confirmed that the idea of purchasing nachos was Amber’s idea. The decision to upgrade for the typical flimsy tray of nachos to a full batting helmet was likely Cody’s, but that has yet to be confirmed as well.

It’s been speculated that Cody’s decision to top the oversized portion of food with traditional jalapenos may have been a factor in Amber’s reluctance to eat her share, as she’s been quoted as calling them “Too spicy” and also mentioned that she was “not a fan” of them during previous food ordering experiences.

Eyewitnesses have said that Amber seemed at least mildly disgusted at the amount of food that Cody consumed, but also that she seemed very content with the small portion that she had. It’s been said by a few that this situation shouldn’t affect their relationship in any negative way, but that remains to be seen. Cody reportedly told Amber that “You do this all the time” when finding out that she wouldn’t be eating anymore of the helmet nachos, but it appears to be only a minor nuisance, like how Cody takes off his shirt when drinking heavily.

Regardless of the situation, it appears Goldstein is no worse for the wear after such a herculean consumption of the massive third rate appetizer, and it’s likely that this hasn’t ruined his willingness to eat nachos in the future. While he’s likely told himself that he’s not going to be influences by Amber’s whimsy like this again, it’s likely it’ll happen again upon their next trip to that place with the buffalo wings that Amber thinks she likes, but they really aren’t that good. It seems as though Cody is up to the task for just about any kind of gluttony, regardless of the food.