Sears wants better "efficiency and effectiveness" in its media buying and, apparently, incumbent MindShare and MEC Interaction aren't delivering. A review for the $780 million piece of business will be opened. Aiming to complete the review by second quarter, the retail giant has not named the consultant that will handle the review nor the names of any considered agencies. At this point, Sears' creative agency Y&R Chicago seems to be on safe ground.

Multicultural firm Burrell Communications Group conducted a study on current perceptions of Black History Month (February). At least 79 percent of those researched agree future generations should understand African-Americans' historical struggles, though the message of honouring these struggles doesn't resound as strongly for younger generations as in previous ones.

Black youth also have a different picture of black challenges, believing issues of racism and oppression are more covert today. They focus more on financial empowerment, battling crime, and educational advancement, and prefer for Black History Month to highlight current African-American accomplishments and issues.

63 percent of respondents also think companies' participation in Black History month helps enhance their image and are more likely to buy products and spread hype for those that tote black achievements.

Watch out, world - the Onion, our news source of choice, is leaping from the written word and taking on CNN with its own newscast: ONN, "faster, harder, scarier and all-knowing."

The Onion's Sean Mills gets strangely sober in his effort to explain: "[Comedy Central and Saturday Night Live] are parody shows, and this is serious news," he says. "There's no studio audience, and no one's in on the joke. What we are trying to create is a broadcast-quality newscast on the Internet."

Oops. That didn't go so well. Sometimes the hottest shop just isn't the best shop. After just over a year, Miller Brewing and Crispin Porter + Bogusky have parted ways with CP+B resigning the account.

Crispin Chief Creative Officer told Advertising Age the two made every effort to make the relationship work but split because of "fundamental differences over creative and strategy." Miller isn't talking.

Maybe it's time for the beer babes to return. Those two fat dudes were definitely no fun to watch.

We could get all snarky and snide and bring up that Subway video but we're not going to. We're going to wish Agency.com ECD Tom Ajello well as he leaves the agency following the mass exodus of many of the agency's executives. Tom, currently on paternity leave enjoying the birth of his first son, has decided, "It was sort of time. I feel like I've had an amazing run, building as awesome crew there and amassing what I believe is the industry's best creative department." He will leave the agency April 15 but has promised to stay on, if needed, to help transition in a new ECD.

Oh please. Do we really need to know what Julie Roehm and alleged lover Sean Womack said to each other over email? Reading other people's email is never a good thing. Especially when it has to do with interpersonal relationships. It's like watching your parents have sex. Some things should never be shared.

Having to read Roehm gush things like, "I think about us together all the time. Litle moments like watching your face when you kiss me. I loved your voice mail last night and love the idea of memory and kept thinking/wishing that it would have been you and I there last night. So there's a little head action for you," is just not necessary. And it's especially not necessary to read Womack reply, "That was some good head action for me." Ew. Please. This stuff just belongs between two lovers. Not in court documents.

Shawn Waite points us to Gawker which received an internal office memo from Publicis letting staffers know New York Magazine would be in the agency snapping shots for its upcoming "Office Life" photo essay. the memo reads, in part, "Try not to pay attention to the crew...or play to the camera...unless you are asked to. As for dress code, that's up to you ...but remember, you (and that outfit) just might make it into the pages of a future New York Magazine!" Yes. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Continue in your hipsteresque ways but don't, under any circumstances show up wearing a Donny Deutsch Speedo. That would simply not properly reflect properly on the agency.

We mentioned this back in December but as the release date approaches and the real world ad industry continues to dish up hearty helpings of gossip, rumor, innuendo and foul play, we can't help but bring this up again. With all the juicy Sorrell/Roehm/Siefert dirt floating about our far from fine, upstanding industry, we can't really blame Hollywood for churning out movies that portray advertising executives as slimy, immoral scumbags with nothing better to do that take advantage of their power to belittle (and worse) others. No. And that's why we have movies like the upcoming Bruce Willis/Halle Berry flick Perfect Strangers.

In the movie, Bruce Willis is a high-powered ad exec who apparently kills (or not) a girl with whom he was having an online affair. Now Halle Berry, an investigative reporter, poses as an intern at Willis' agency to dig into Willis' wrong doings. Maybe Shannon Siefert should go to work for Martin Sorrell and pick up some client work headed by Julie Roehm. Now that would make a good movie.

Step aside Julie Roehm. The international big shots are taking the stage now with libel, money-laundering and love triangles. Big shot WPP Group's Martin Sorrell, in the midst of a libel suit in London's High Court against former WPP country manager Marco Benatti and Sorrell-founded FullSix CEO Marco Tinelli, has reportedly been having a relationship with WPP CEO Daniela Weber since late 2004. Prior to that, Weber was, apparently, having a relationship with Benatti. Now, Sorrell and Webber are suing Benatti for leaking "vicious" images of them to the Internet. Do we sense a bit of jealously here from Benatti? Or perhaps it's a bit of vengeance in reaction to Sorrell's firing of Benatti (and Tinelli) for the above mentioned apparent libel.

Adding to the drama is Sorrell's spectacular multi-million dollar divorce from his wife two years ago and his relationship with Weber being referred to, apparently by Benatti and Tinelli, as "the mad dwarf and the nympho schizo." Can it get any more delicious than this? Yes. Weber, 44 and referred to as "hot lover" on some blogs, has worked for Benatti since she was a student and by 2005, she had a director position and a 20 percent stake in Tinelli's FullSix. Apparently, over the 20 years Weber and Benatti worked together, Benatti was "frustrated with his position and his lack of power and authority." Again, jealous much?

It is said Benatti and Tinelli were behind the creation of the blog that circulated the "vicious" photo of Sorrell and Weber but involvement has been denied. The case, and its drama, continue today.

We're not sure the mid-90's style baggy, pleated pants the guy is wearing in this video are as intentionally spoofy as the rest of the site but that's besides the point. We're not talking about fashion here. We're talking about an agency that thinks viral marketing is fleeting and unproductive and has pioneered something much better: Disease Marketing. Yes. "Why settle for a harmless virus when you can get a full blown disease," says the trouser-wearing agency dude.

Minneapolis-based Kruskopf Coontz, calling itself "the face of disease," promises its disease marketing can lift brands to the level of emphysema: incurable and impossible to ignore. And that's not all. After introducing its "The New Viral" approach, Kruskopf whisks us away to its brand new website with an intro that brings together the finest, most complete collection of agency bullshit including B.S. Central (scroll all the way to the right), a video section of their site that gleefully tears apart the industry's obsession with awards, pointless philosophies, 25/8 dedication, its people, pontificating press releases, street cred, hipsterificness, base touching and the idiotic, self-important use of cell phones.