Uncle
Scoopy's Fun Houseat scoopy.net is a
daily internet e-zine dedicated to keeping its
readers abreast and abuttock of the latest in
celebrity nudity.

Having
produced a new dated edition every single day since
1995, it may be the oldest continually updated blog
still in existence. It's part of the Scoopy universe
of sites, which includes The Movie House, French
Cinema Nudity, and Other Crap.

Most of the
"Top 20" lists we have produced over the years have
been formed by polls which represent the consensus
view of many people who are acquainted with the
major nude scenes of the previous year.

This list
varies from that tradition in that it covers an
entire decade, and is simply the opinion of one
person, me, Greg, aka Uncle Scoopy.

My opinion is
no less subjective than any of yours, but I actually
have seen and written about every significant nude
scene in the past ten years, and have given some
thought to which ones were truly special and not
just the "flavors of the day."

Overview:

The rankings from top to bottom don't
mean much. I tried to include the most meritorious
performances and I tried to restrict the list to major
actresses (eliminating obscure films and performers
like Margo Stiller in 9 Songs), so I felt pretty good
about the choices on the list. Once I had the items
collected, however, I had no idea how to sequence
them, because it's all so subjective. You could
probably reverse the order in each category and have
just as good a list ...

... but it doesn't really matter,
does it? It's all about finding some more beauty to
admire.

Here are some choices I could have
included for one category or another:

Several performances could easily
have made the list but were edged out by other
performances by the same actress: Emily Mortimer in
Young Adam, Salma Hayek in Ask the Dust, Gretchen
Mol in Forever Mine, Heather Graham in Adrift in
Manhattan, Maggie Gyllenhaal in Strip Search and
pretty much every other Kate Winslet movie,
especially Iris.

Victoria Abril in Pour Elle, or
Bryce Howard in Manderlay might have been the "most
explicit" winner, but Chloe Sevigny was impossible
to beat because she didn't use any doubles for her
oral sex scene.

Charlotte Rampling, or maybe Diane
Keaton in Something's Gotta Give, might have won the
GILF award, but there was just no competing with
Mimi's prolonged frontal and rear nudity in good
light.

If I had made a deeper depth chart
for the cable queens, it would have included
Mary-Louise Parker in Angels in America and Sonya
Walger on Tell Me You Love Me

Other honorable mentions have to go
to: Ludivine Sagnier in La Petite Lili, Chloe Hunter
in Spun (a sure top finisher with a more famous
actress), Alexis Dziena in Broken Flowers, Valeria
Golino in Il Sole Nero, Asia Argento in The Last
Mistress, Daneel Harris in Ten Inch Hero, Charlotte
Gainsbourg in Antichrist, Paz de la Huerta in The
Limits of Control, and Betsy Rue in My Bloody
Valentine.

For comparison or further study, you
may want to consider the following list, which
summarizes all of our polls for the decade.

Flavor of a day
gone by

Katie Holmes in The Gift

(6.7 at IMDb)

Looking back on this scene without
knowing the context, you would never guess that it was
the single most popular scene in the history of our
site. Unlike most of the scenes on this page, it does
not feature sex or full-frontal nudity. It's just a
brief nighttime topless scene from a woman who is no
longer especially popular.

But in the year 2000, Katie Holmes
was America's dream date and she had never taken off
her top on camera. When she finally did so, her chest
was so perfect that we were absolutely dazzled.

Cable Queens

3

Polly Walker in Rome

season 1,
various episodes

(9.2 on IMDb)

She was an established actress of
some reputation. She has a spectacular mature figure,
and she showed it all from every angle in good light.
It was a highly acclaimed series in its first year.
'Nuff said.

2

Alice Henley in Rome

season 2,
episode 9

(9.2 on IMDb)

At the time it was aired it was the
most explicit TV sex scene ever created for a
non-exploitation production. It did not hold the crown
long. Tell Me You Love Me came along a few months
later and changed the rules completely.

1

Michelle Borth in Tell Me You Love
Me

(7.2 at IMDb)

The scene to the right was and still
remains the most explicit TV scene ever shot for a
mainstream production. Michelle got naked many other
times in the run of the series as well, and my guess
is that her sex scenes were not faked. If they were,
it was an impressive impersonation.

Whether the sex was real or just a
convincing simulation, Tell Me You Love Me definitely
raised the bar for adult content in legitimate cable
dramas.

Broadcast TV

Charlotte Ross in NYPD Blue

season 10, episode 16

(7.4 at IMDb)

There's really no competition in this
category. Not only is this the best nude scene in the
history of network TV, and by a wide margin, but it is
likely to remain so for many years, based upon the
prevailing attitudes. In fact, the current climate is
so puritanical that it seems hard to believe this
could have happened on ABC in 2003. Or at all.

GILF

Mimi Rogers in The Door in the
Floor

(6.8 at IMDb)

There were other sexy women of granny
age, like Diane Keaton and Charlotte Rampling, who
gave it all up for art or entertainment, but nobody
showed it like Mimi, and nobody had as much to show.

Most explicit

Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny

(4.9 at IMDb)

Oral sex performed on camera in real
time in mainstream films by non-porn actresses is one
of the rarest sights in the cinema. It has happened
fewer than a dozen times in film history, and I can't
name another instance with an established American
actress.

Big budget blockbusters and wannabes

4

Angelina Jolie in Original Sin

(5.6 at IMDb)

Well, they thought Original Sin might
be a blockbuster. It starred Angelina Jolie and
Antonio Banderas. Tom Jane played the villain.
It was a remake of a Truffaut classic starring
Belmondo and Catherine DeNeuve. It was distributed to
about 2200 theaters ...

... where it was a micro-bomb. ($16m)

Apparently not that many people were
interested in watching beautiful superstars perform in
soft-core porn scenes within a corny erotic thriller
filled with gaping plot holes. Be that as it may, this
remains probably the most explicit action ever filmed
between two A-listers.

Here's a would-be blockbuster that
actually pulled it off. Not only did it rake in $158m
worldwide, but it is rated among the top 100 films of
all time at IMDb.

That rating may be a bit exaggerated,
but there's no question that Robert Rodriguez brought
a comic book to life virtually unchanged, that Mickey
Rourke scored an incredible comeback as Marv, and that
Carla Gugino dazzled us with a bold scene that kept
very little hidden.

Beautiful woman naked, great body,
interesting scene ... my kind of "sword and sandals"
action. Of course the movie itself was a mega-bomb.
Created at a cost of $155 million, it grossed only
$34m stateside and was ridiculed by critics on both
sides of the Atlantic.

Favorite foreign films

Her body was used as the model for
the woman who symbolizes the French Republic. Vive la
France!

To be honest, her nude scene isn't
even the best one in this film. But, dude, she's
Laetitia Casta!

2

Monica Bellucci in Irreversible

(7.3 at IMDb)

Monica Bellucci in Malena

(7.4 at IMDb)

Irreversible's 7.3 at IMDb is
misleading. It's effective enough, but it's a
multi-lingual art film told in reverse, and an
unpleasant one at that, so 99 viewers of 100 will find
to be utterly unwatchable.

Except of course for the fact that
Monica Bellucci is stark naked (top right).

If you want to see her take off her
clothes in a more traditional and accessible type of
movie, watch Malena (bottom right), which is one of
the best from the superb craftsman Giuseppe Tornatore.

Writer/director Julio Medem said: "After the loss of
her long-time boyfriend, she seeks refuge on a quiet,
secluded Mediterranean island. There, bathed in an
atmosphere of fresh air and dazzling sun, Lucía begins
to discover the dark corners of her past relationship,
as if they were forbidden passages of a novel which
the author now, from afar, allows her to read."

If he says so ... I had no idea what was goin' on.

But Paz looked great, even on digital video.

Actresses nominated for major awards

5

Laura Linney in Maze

(6.4 at IMDb)

Linney didn't get an Oscar nomination
for this particular film, but she has been nominated
for three Oscars in other films, so she definitely
belongs in this group.

And the nudity here absolutely rates
among the best of the decade, perhaps the best in the
Ginger League.

Her nudity in this film also earned
her second place in our 2002 poll for the best nude
performance. Salma has finished second twice, and in
each of those years she narrowly lost to one of my top
four of the decade (Heather Graham in Killing Me
Softly and Gretchen Mol in The Notorious Bettie Page).
If Frida and Ask the Dust had been released in
different years, Salma might well be a two-time
champion!

Nudity in the film. Even more left on
the cutting room floor! (But presented on the DVD.)

I don't think that any other actress
in history has combined acting awards and nudity like
Kate. Kate won the Best Actress Oscar for this very
performance, and has also been nominated for five
other acting Oscars. She also received an Oscar
nomination for Iris, which also could have made this
list.

There is something very special, very
vulnerable about Emily's nudity in this film. She
plays an insecure aspiring actress and at one point
she stands naked in the light and asks a more
experienced performer to critique her body. He managed
to find plenty of flaws, but I like her just fine the
way she is.

Ashley is no stranger to nudity, and
had even done full-frontal scenes before this film,
but there was nothing in her mainstream career that
led us to predict that she, age 38 and safely elevated
to stardom, would do scenes like this in a movie like
this. It's the kind of weird, low-budget arthouse film
that David Lynch might find "a little out there."
Surprisingly, it was directed by 70-year-old William
Friedkin, who was nominated for two "Best Director"
Oscars back in the early 70s, winning one for The
French Connection.

I have to love it when a director who
is truly great at visual imagery decides to load up a
film with female nudity. Ang Lee can compete with
anyone when it comes to the visual poetry of his
films, and Wei Tang is one of his greatest sonnets.

... or as I called it at the time,
"Shakespeare in Lust," since it featured Shakespeare
and Rollergirl goin' at it constantly. Our panel voted
this the top nude scene of 2002.

The British critics ripped this film
apart so mercilessly that it was never released in
North American theaters. To this day it remains one of
the few films rated a perfect zero at Rotten Tomatoes.
Zero? For a film with Heather Graham naked constantly?
Does the SAT exam for film critic school require an
800 in gayness?

The other three performances in my
top four were the top nude scenes of their years, but
this was not. Yet it nearly matches the top two in
every important way: degree of explicitness, duration
of nudity, good lighting, beauty of the actress. The
only thing that kept this from being a number one
finisher is that a TV show named Wonderfalls did not
become a hit despite lavish critical praise for its
scripts and its fresh-faced star, Ms Dhavernas. If she
had been a big star as of December 2004, this nudity
would have won going away. Of course if she had been a
big star, she might not have done such scenes, not
even for the eccentric genius Peter Greenaway.

A biopic featuring the magnificent
Gretchen Mol as nude model Bettie Page? Cut me a slice
of that! The Vanity Fair editor who called Gretchen
"the next big thing" back in 1998 should have been
right. She should have been a superstar. And for those
of us who love beautiful film nudity, she already is.

Our panel chose this as the #1 nude
scene of 2006 in a neck-and-neck race with Salma Hayek
in Ask the Dust.

She was young and had never done a
nude scene before. She was part of a famous acting
family. She has an incredible body, and showed every
inch of it in good light. She was naked for a good
portion of the film's running time. The nudity was
both erotic and creative. And the whole thing was
filmed by the masterful Bertolucci.

The result: this was the runaway
winner for the best nude performance of 2004, and it's
my choice as the nude performance of the decade.