Advice – April 2011

Dear Sparkle,
I am a kitten, and I just came home to live with my new human a couple of weeks ago. I have been having a great time! Except for one thing: my human gets upset every time I chew on those things she puts on her feet! I don’t see why — the strappy part tastes really good and I can pretend it is a very dangerous snake (I want to grow up to be a fierce hunter)! So can you tell me what the deal is with these foot things, and why she doesn’t want me touching them?
Signed,
Fierce Hunter In Training

Dear FHIT,
Oh, those shoes (that’s what those feet things are called). Both humans and cats are fascinated by them, but for completely different reasons. Honestly, I don’t really get the human fixation on them, since all they ever seem to do is put them on their feet and walk around in them. We cats use them for many more interesting things. We love whiffing the outside of them to see where our humans have been (and to see if they have been hanging around other cats, or maybe, ick, a dog). We love whiffing inside them to see how much our humans exerted themselves while they were out. And we love using them as cat toys because if they are made of real leather, they smell like prey! In fact, it’s kind of sad that the only thing humans can think of doing with them is wearing them. Which is why your human got so upset that you were chewing on the strappy part — if you gnaw it in half or break it off altogether, she will not be able to fasten them to her feet anymore. Even worse, maybe she is one of those shoe-worshipping humans — the type who owns dozens of pairs of shoes and spends fortunes on them (fortunes that would be better spent on elaborate cat towers and gourmet quality cat food). Those humans are fiercely protective of their shoes and don’t want anyone else touching them, not even you. In fact, the way they act, you wonder why they don’t frame the silly shoes instead of wearing them. If your human is into shoe-worship, then she might even get mad if you so much as whiff her shoes.

So that is why your human does not like you chewing on her shoes. What can you do about it? Not much, I’m afraid. If your human does have a whole bunch of shoes, you might try taking one and hiding it somewhere. If she doesn’t go into a panic searching for it, then maybe you can play with it in private and she won’t notice. But do be warned, some humans really do not like their shoes messed with. It’s like trying to take prey from another cat (maybe it has to do with that leather smell). If your human is this shoe-crazy, you may even be better off finding a dangerous snake to play with!

If your human doesn’t want you to touch her shoes, she should sit with the legs up in the air or put flip flops on, there is not a lot to chew !
A friend of us always puts old shoes on when he comes for a visit, because Arthur once had dared to sniff at his very very expensive brand mark shoes ! Crazy people you are absolutely right !

Great advice unless you have a D-O-G! Mommy keeps her shoes in the closet. When she relaxes and takes her Sketcher Shape ups off, it’s not to long before ICE grabs one and runs with it! Mom’s in chase with the squirt bottle in hand so ICE gives up. It’s funny to watch anyway=^Y^=