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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Redeeming the Table: A Letter to My Daughters {Dear Daughter Series}

Today's guest writer is Kamille from Redeeming the Table. She's a fellow Pacific Northwesterner and we both share a love and enjoyment of delicious, nourishing meals and the way we use food to minister to the people in our lives. She's also grain free and shares some amazing recipes. With 3 beautiful daughters, she's gone before me and I learn so much from her. Check out her blog, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and IG!

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It’s
hard to remember a time when I wasn’t carefree, only called “Kamille,”
and could stay up till 2:00 am with no regret come the next morning.
But, I can crane my head and call back growing up in the 80s & 90s,
when hypercolor & neon Espirit bags fell in out of fashion as quick
as one meltdown to the next.

As
far as I can remember, I always wanted to live on the stage. As a
young three year old girl, I would wrap myself up in old drapes
announcing to Nana, “I’m a BabaWaba!” I would sing, perform and find
any chance to draw attention to theatrics. It wasn’t just a fleeting
interest, or a cute thing I did. I was naturally gifted in these areas.

When
it came time to audition for church plays, I set my eye on the lead
role...ALWAYS! I had flare, a gift. Nana & Grandpa Soto would
encourage it, and others who saw me would tell them the same.

However,
there came a time when I allowed my own insecurities get the best of
me. I believed that if I couldn’t be the best, then I shouldn’t even
try. In sixth grade, I auditioned for the lead solo in choir.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get picked. It was this other girl, who
actually wasn’t as good as me. But, you know what she had? Sheer
disregard. A disregard what others truly thought.

***

My
freshman year of college I was pursuing the Performing Arts as a major.
One of my courses was Voice. My vocal coach/teacher would have us
pick various pieces to perform in front of the class. Time and time
again his critique of me was my restraint. The funny thing is I
wouldn’t consider myself at the time a restrained sort of person. It
wouldn’t be until we were acting emotions to sing that I finally shined.

Why?
I think it’s because I was given freedom to be someone else, the
hidden self. That self, which is not inhibited or dictated by what
others think. It was after singing with verbose volume my teacher said,
“Kamille! Where has that voice been all semester? You’ve been hiding
it.”

***

Senior
year of high school I was voted Miss Unique. But, I don’t think I
really was all that unique. Sure, I dressed differently and people
thought I “didn’t care what others thought:” but, girls, really,
truly...I did care. I played scenarios of defeat in my head all too
often, which led to a cyclical pattern of false confidence. It led me
towards regrets wishing I had truly lived by my English teacher, Mr.
Qualls resolve, Carpe Diem.

Don’t
let what others think, or even what you think they think dictate your
quest on trying new adventures. You decide to pursue life with all of
your soul & mind. Like that sixth grade girl who got the solo, it
was because she lived without restraint. She put it all out there.
It’s attractive when we put it all out there. It’s also risky, because
we might fail, or realize we aren’t the best. But, we can look back
with no regret my dear daughters.

.

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The Boho Mama is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Questions? Email me at meg.kimmelshue@gmail.com.