The Crisis in a Nutshell: Quotes of the Week

“You could almost feel the Iranians seething. This stuff makes them crazy.” —an Azerbaijani official, on the geopolitical impact of a recent Jennifer Lopez concert in Baku.

“We have a joke around here. Pretty soon we’re going to have such long commercial breaks that people are going to tune in and all they’ll hear is: ‘Hello, welcome to News 3. And goodbye.’ ” —the general manager of KSNV, the NBC affiliate in Las Vegas, on the high volume of political advertising in Nevada.

“It does seem like we might get close to the biggest ever assemblage of puppets in one place and probably the most ever puppets marching on Washington.” —Michael Bellavia, co-creator of the Million Puppet March.

“Hunting season is coming up, I thought, ‘This is cool, so let’s do something for the boy who doesn’t like to hunt for diamonds, but likes to hunt for deer.’ ” —Iowa jeweler Harold van Beek, on his new promotion, in which customers who buy an engagement ring will also get a hunting rifle.

“If we don’t help our scientists and athletes, where will we be? Greece has educated people, cultured people and good athletes. It’s better to help them than take our money to Switzerland.” —Soula Alevridou, whose brothel recently became the sponsor for a Greek amateur soccer team.

“I had said to the commission beforehand, if a follow-up is required or I think there’s something we can expand on the answer, I’m going to ask that question. I just can’t be Alex Trebek or Bob Barker.” —Tom Brokaw, on moderating a debate between Barack Obama and John McCain in 2008.

“He is so good it scares me.” —Joe Biden, on Jason Sudeikis’s impersonation of him on “Saturday Night Live.”

“Dennis Miller is a funny guy, but he understands that the challenges facing our nation are no laughing matter.” —Mitt Romney, in a statement announcing Miller’s decision to endorse him.

“I think he just prefers to stay home and have people come to him. He’s actually quite lazy, and getting more like that lately.” —the Russian editor Andrei Kolesnikov, on the announcement that Vladimir Putin will begin working from home to avoid causing traffic.

“That brother has slugged me a couple times. I assure you President Obama has nothing to worry about.” —Josh Romney, after his brother Tagg said he wanted to “take a swing at” Obama during the last Presidential debate.

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