“They told us that positive thinking was not very helpful,” Feldman said.

Ferman’s research looked at what he called “supersurvivors,” people who not only survived and grew in the wake of trauma, but also completely changed their lives. One example was British Navy sailor Alan Lock, who became legally blind as a result of macular degeneration, and went on to run marathons, row across the Atlantic Ocean and trek to the South Pole. Feldman said Lock had reported friends and family telling him to look on the bright side when he first lost his sight.

“(Lock) found this incredibly alienating,” Feldman said. “A lot of people in that moment of trauma don’t feel very positive. To try to force them to think positive I think in some sense is to re-victimize them.”

“When you have just suffered a terrible trauma and you try to tell yourself, ‘Everything will be okay, look on the bright side,’ it just feels like you’re lying to yourself,” he said.

Instead, Feldman said the supersurvivors that he and co-author Lee Kravetz interviewed had a different approach, which Feldman called, "grounded hope."

“It’s a combination of a very realistic and brutally honest understanding of what’s happening to you in the moment … combined with a very brave and forward-pointing question, 'How can I build a better life on top of this?'" he said.

Feldman said this realistic approach allowed supersurvivors to find ways to move on much more than they might otherwise have done.

“These supersurvivors said that only by realizing what they could not change and accepting it, as painful as it is, could they really discern what could change,” he said.

Commenting Policy

Wisconsin Public Radio and WPR.org welcome civil, on-topic comments and opinions that advance the discussion from all perspectives of an issue. Comments containing outside links (URLs) will only be posted after they’ve been approved by a moderator. WPR.org will delete comments that violate our guidelines. Visit our social media guidelines for more information about these policies.