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45 Thoughts About “All-New, All-Different Marvel”

Never a dull moment, right? Remember last fall when Marvel unloaded 16 teasers for “Secret Wars” — you know, the event currently unfolding that I’m surprisingly enjoying? Remember how we all thought that dropping just over a dozen series teases over the course of two weeks was a lot? My, how naive we were! Over the past few weeks, Marvel revealed 15 series set in their post-“Secret Wars” universe. Today — or actually, yesterday, but I just don’t have the energy needed to get into that whole thing — the publisher pulled a Loki and decided to “send the rest.”

Forty-five new #1s in total. That’s not quite 52, no, but it’s still a lot to process — and that’s what I’m here to do. This week is all “All-New, All-Different Marvel” and the thoughts/feelings these 45 new series have sparked in my brain. To stay in line with the numerical precedent set by Marvel, here are 45 thoughts — not necessarily about every series, mind you — about what my comic-reading world is gonna look like come October.

Let’s get the only overall gripe I — and many others — have outta the way first, because I do enjoy at least trying to be positive. This is a straight, white dude heavy list of creators. Creators I love, no doubt, and definitely creators I’m excited for! But, as Tim Hanley’s crunched numbers reveal, only six of the 45 titles feature a female creator. Only six! And there are only eight total women listed as working on all the books. That numbers even lower when you count creators of color or LGBT creators. This doesn’t take into account alternate interior artists or other cover artists, it doesn’t take into account letterers or colorists or editors — but the number is still shockingly low. This is something that I hope changes, and — call me an optimist — I think will change. Eventually. Soon? Please?

This isn’t a reboot, just like Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso said all along even as many people pegged those assertions as flat out lies. No lies! A lot of the books (“Ms. Marvel,” “The Mighty Thor,” “All-New Hawkeye,” “Howard the Duck,” etc.) still have the same creative teams. The teenage original X-Men are still around and Jane Foster and Sam Wilson are still holding down the Thor and Cap forts. No doubt some things will be slightly different, like Miles Morales and Old Man Logan being in the main — only? — Marvel U, but this looks like a continuation of all that’s come before and not an abandoning of it.

The X-Men have not been jettisoned off-world — unless the All-New X-Men’s Volkswagen van is modified for spaceflight.

The grump in me that likes things orderly and categorized is still slightly annoyed by the death of all teams other than the X-Men and Avengers. We’re still rocking the mix and match adjectives routine with those teams instead of dusting off unused group names or trying out new titles. We’ve got “Uncanny X-Men” (which could maybe be “X-Force”), “All-New X-Men” (“New Mutants”?) and “Extraordinary X-Men” (this fits); then there are Avengers teams labeled “Uncanny,” “New” and “All-New, All-Different.” I could turn this bullet point into a whole article eventually, but I miss diversity in titles too. “Champions,” “Defenders,” “Thunderbolts” — give those team names some love, even if the title has to be “Avengers: Champions” just to increase fan SEO.

That being said, I’m beyond stoked to see the Ultimates brand folded into the main Marvel U, especially as a possible continuation of Al Ewing’s “Mighty Avengers.” I’m glad Spectrum and Blue Marvel aren’t falling back into limbo. Also this is the book that might give us a panel of America Chavez punching Galactus!

I love that “A-Force” is continuing in the main Marvel Universe. As long as there are no sneaky mind-wipes / alternate reality switch-outs on the way, I’m looking forward to seeing this Dazzler finally get some regular attention.

Thanks to that Foreigner shout out in the text, we now know that Star-Lord is forever tied to classic rock.

I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in Karnak as a character, series, word, whatever — but I cannot deny Warren Ellis. I’m in on the ground floor.

I will shake my head at the missed opportunity if the “Venom: Spaceknight” logo doesn’t play up the fact that the last syllable of “Venom” is stupid close to “Rom.”

So, “Spider-Woman,” right…? Dennis Hopeless and Javier Rodriguez’s run so far has been stellar — like, best work of either of their careers as far as I’m concerned. I trust Hopeless and I’m aware of the fact that a lot of covers and solicit text are created to be intentionally misleading in order to drum up conversation.

Okay, Charles Soule has said that that “doesn’t look like Gambit” to him on the cover of “Daredevil” #1 but… come on, right? Slender build, head sock, flowing brown hair, bo staff — seriously, head sock and bo staff! And he’s covered in what look like throwing spikes, which is what Gambit used before he got cards! We’re being trolled, I say, trolled!

But for realsies, Charles Soule is exactly who I’ve wanted to see on “Daredevil” since the moment Mark Waid said he was peacing out. My excitement for this series is not contingent on Gambit’s involvement — but his presence would get me slightly more hyped.

Dum Dum Dugan is back in “Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D.” and Brent Schoonover has a lot to live up to. Dum Dum’s the #3 hottest comic dude according to a well-respected source.

If Miles Morales’ best friend Ganke died along with the rest of the Ultimate Universe and isn’t part of “Spider-Man,” I’m going to be devastated. We’re talking “Friday Night Lights” finale-level feels over here.

“Uncanny Avengers” has gone from being the X-Men/Avengers mash-up team to being a Marvel catchall. Not a bad thing.

Yep, Rogue’s still not back to being an X-Man. Bland headcanon: Rogue follows most of the X-Men on Instagram and likes all of their photos, except for Gambit’s food “adventures.” She follows Beast on Spotify but never listens to any of his playlists.

The X-Men are still, for the most part, not my X-Men. I’m not a fan of Magik or Psylocke, Fantomex, most of the original five and Magneto. As a forever Gambit/Cannonball/Rogue/Warpath/Madrox/Siryn/Banshee fan, the past few years have been rough.

That being said, Cullen Bunn continuing his stellar Magneto work in a team setting? Yes, please.

Also Dennis Hopeless picking up where the brilliant “X-Men: Season One” left off? I’ll take two.

Just hearing Jeff Lemire talk about “Extraordinary X-Men” made me choke up, so of course I’m on board.

And yes, I cannot wait to see what Humberto Ramos — maybe the definitive Spider-Man artist of the past five years — does with Nightcrawler on “Extraordinary.”

Beyond elated that Hopeless and Lemire have included teen and adult Iceman in their casts. Is it possible that we will get two different series telling different types of coming out stories featuring the same character?

If I just glance at Mike Del Mundo’s “Carnage” cover, it looks like a leather recliner surrounded in red strobe lights. My eyes are not good.

I think the Hood is one of the best new villains in a while and I’m glad he’s coming back in “Illuminati.”

Obviously Marvel knows how great Ewing’s “Mighty Avengers” was because they’ve given him two team books. But even if Ewing wasn’t writing it, I’d still give “New Avengers” a shot because of Songbird and Sunspot!

Daniel Acuna was brought into our lives to draw Captain America, and that fate will be fulfilled this October.

Nick Spencer is bringing Beetle from “Superior Foes of Spider-Man” into his “Ant-Man” cast! Oh, I cannot wait to read more about the “Sweet Dee” Reynolds of the Marvel Universe.

I mean, that’s totally Kitty Pryde in the Star-Lord gear on the “Guardians of the Galaxy” cover, right?

Also, everyone else thinks Groot looksterrifying on that “GOTG” cover too, right? Never thought I’d say this about a tree alien, but I think he needs lips.

Kevin Wada’s back to doing Marvel covers. Expect the “Scarlet Witch” covers to be the star of every month’s solicitations.

“Spider-Gwen” FOREVER.

The amazing “Runaways” art team has been reunited on “Ms. Marvel” with Takeshi Miyazawa and Adrian Alphona trading off interior art duties. I loved them in my 20s and I will love them in my 30s.

Deadpool’s back?! But he was dead and people got mad about it. Did… did people flirt with death-threat-levels of anger because of a character death for no reason?!

Putting Chris Bachalo on a “Doctor Strange” book is a surefire way to make sure I buy “Doctor Strange.” Cunning plan, Marvel!

Putting Gabriel Hernandez Walta and Jordie Bellaire on a “Vision” book is a surefire way to make sure I buy “Vision.” Do you hate my wallet, Marvel? Then why do you keep taking things from it?!

I have no idea how an Avengers team comprised of almost 50 percent teenagers can even function — and I’m excited to find out. Because, like, an absentee note from the Avengers totally trumps a note from a doctor, right?

The “Totally Awesome Hulk” has to be Amadeus Cho, right? Greg Pak loves Cho (obviously, he created him!) and the title screams “teenage lead” to me. But I could be wrong, because Cho doesn’t have a faux hawk like the Hulk on the cover.

I think I can safely say that 20 of these books are going to be on my digital pull list this fall.

If I’m honest with myself, It’s probably more like 25.

Brett White is a writer and comedian living in New York City. He made videos for the Upright Citizens Brigade as a member of UCB1 and writes for the podcast Left Handed Radio. His opinions can be consumed in bite-sized morsels on Twitter (@brettwhite).