“I wake up every day thanking Christ that I don’t have a vagina. It seems such a busy world,” I propose, after the first bottle’s been downed. I’m on a date, and no, this was not my opening line to loosen up the conversation, but it is my description on my Tinder profile. I find it cuts away the time-wasters.

Not that I have any inside insight, but I’ve never fancied living a day in a woman’s shoes: every step scrutinized, every inch of the body perved on by men. But at least in 2014, man has decided that he should probably cut back on the idiocy and start high-fiving sexually proactive women.

The Western world has slowly escorted a lot of the stigma behind our sex lives out the back door. But then, like Sandra Bullock looking deep into the beyond at a meteor storm hurtling towards her, I see it coming. Like Heinz ketchup still being a thing we enjoy, this is something that we can’t seem to shake off:

“So, how many people have you slept with?”

Just as you think that the people around you and the world you live in are motoring forward to a better state, this conversation is still 10 minutes of living that we all love to waste.

I am convinced that we don’t want to ask, and we’re all nervous about the other person asking — to the point where it gets too much and someone does it just to break free of the shackles. Whether I’m sitting with Jenna Jameson or Mary Poppins, the likelihood of me going into sexual history is the same: I see no value in knowing as it just means so little. In the same way that asking someone what they do for a living has little bearing on that person’s personality and character, preparing this horrific table chart where we measure someone’s value against a number is pretty terrifying.

“Personally, I take almost zero notice of how many people someone has had sex with. It really doesn't matter at all,” says erotic writer and entrepreneur Shav, who lives in London but travelled for many years on various journeys of self-exploration.

“It's immature to direct someone down this line of conversation and also shows more about that person’s personality — as it also shows that that person has ego or insecurity problems. Someone’s sex life attributes a little towards who they are, but someone's personality is a jigsaw made up of, let's say, 10,000 pieces. This is only one piece of that personality jigsaw.”