Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

i feel like i’ve gone through a lot of changes in the past couple of years..thought i found myself when i was lost..thought i found a home when i was only renting one of those cheap motel rooms where you pay by the hour, and there are mysterious stains on the mattress, and the whole room smells like hot dogs. thought i found waldo, but it was really that other dude with the same sweater, minus the hat.

it’s starting to feel different. it’s starting to feel like i’m building a team. we’re all doing lunges and warming up our hammies so we don’t pull something. i feel like i’ve cut through the second-string and i’m running with the starting line-up.

it’s nice to feel..nice. furthermore, it’s nice to feel nice as myself – not a version of me, not me on my best-behavior, not me “lite.” just me. it’s nice to be around people who not only allow, but encourage that.

i don’t think most people really know what they’re looking for. sure, there are certain things that everyone aspires to have – friends, family, financial security, a vibrator that will bring you a post-coital sandwich, etc. – but i don’t think most people have any fucking clue what really makes them tick. people are so concerned with image and status that the shit that really makes their heart beat comes in second. fuck that. beat, i say. beat.

a change is a-comin’. and hopefully, if i’m lucky enough, i will be too..immediately followed by the delivery of a pb&j.