AIBU to think that buying gifts YOU like when recipient has wildly different taste...

Not obv all, but in my DM's case, I think she uses gifts to foist her values and ideals onto others.

She is a hippy. Very alternative taste. We are conventional. Yet she insists on buying things on a crystals/ incense/ ethnic handicraft / autobiography of someone tragic, theme.

I'm actually really cross as she took my 12yo dd to 'choose' her own present. She was taken to one shop and offered the choice of 4 Druidish looking pictures for her wall. Dd likes cath kidston so You can see the problem... Trouble is , my mum is so clever at projecting her values onto others that poor dd didn't feel that she could say her true feelings for fear of upsetting her gran.

I think it's about control and it makes me so mad. My siblings feel the same.

AIBU to charity shop the gift or return it to the shop? Anyone else with relatives who do this?

Yes, she's very manipulative generally and acts all wounded and weepy if she doesn't get her way. She is unbelievably sensitive and if anyone raises any issues with her she makes you feel like a bully.

Oh, me too. I'm learning to let go. I bagged a few things the other day for charity. I realised I didn't care enough for them to even take a picture as a memento. And I'd been carrying them through house moves over the years. What a waste of mental energy.

I agree! Thing is, I feel so guilty. Also mil is a main source of stuff, but always wants to get involved if we have a car boot ( lives close and the dds always tell her!) so that's a tricky ken too...

Hammer,My mum is also a potter so we have literally dozens of items kids have made over the years. A few bits are nice, but it's just crazy. With mil it's mainly clothes and bulky toys. The bloody storage issue gets to me!