Thursday, March 1, 2018

Self Development

I have a lot of time to myself in this new country of England. Based on how cold it is right now, I can isolate myself in my room quite a bit. Some of this time alone in my room can be very helpful, I've done a lot of research on physical and mental health, what helps with getting sick or preventing it, good vitamins to take, and good food and drinks to drink and eat. Also a lot of YouTubing and article reading on self development, involving building charisma, socializing, and subconscious body language.

Being here in England for four more months I really have nothing to lose in a lot of areas I want to be more vulnerable and go for what I really want. I get that but not to where I am fully living it. It is a struggle, I make steps everyday, and I don't want to look back on this time with regrets. I am taking advantages of certain areas, but want to improve.

There are certain self help things I've discovered with dating, socializing, and masculinity. Some of these YouTube pages are (FarFromAverage, Charisma on Command and DREW and Alan Roger Currie). These top three pages are a lot on socializing, being bold, and going for what you want, and Alan Roger Currie is a dating coach and an expert on communication. One thing I've noticed about dating, especially in asking girls out is that I anticipate them thinking I am only interested in them physically, because they "know" what I am really "thinking". I think people know what I am thinking in detail, which will prevent me from asking certain questions. Which is me being severely, deep inside my head. Initially, I am attracted to people by how they look, but I am also interested in people's minds, and having conversations with people is one of my favorite things. To quote my good friend Shawn Shaw, who introduced me to Alan Roger Currie, said to me "Everyone has their own universe inside of them, and I want to get to know that universe" This has stayed with me since then, and probably will for the rest of my life. If people are willing, I want to share my universe with them and vice versa, having a great conversation with someone will open up a lot in both people's worlds. And being in a new country, I am around new people in a different culture, and I am looking to have conversations with people regardless of intimacy or dating.

One thing that I've noticed and have struggled with in regards to socializing and dating has been porn and masturbation, and how that distorts my views on people. Doing things to myself while watching naked strangers have sex on a computer screen kind of detaches me from the real world. Something I discovered about this is NoFap. This is an online forum about porn addiction and masturbation, and how to stop it. I stumbled upon this when I was alone in my room looking at porn one day for no reason. This alarmed and upset me and I found a video about NoFap and its benefits. It talks about the many benefits of rebooting your brain from looking at dirty pixelated images on a screen to have a solo sex mission, and the psychology behind that. How easy this is making "sex" which has just become orgasming or feeling good instantly. How it connects to our caveman brains of hunting and gathering, which is no longer important, you used to have to go out and win a woman's heart, now you can just go online. Because you can look at more naked women in five minutes than your great grandfather got to see in his whole life. WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK HARD FOR THINGS (like cumming) ANYMORE. If you have any interest or concern about your dating life or porn habits you should look into NoFap. There are physical, emotional, and mental benefits from not looking at porn, and not cumming at all. Two important terms from this phenomenon are "Sexual transmutation" which is channeling your sexual energy into something productive. Athletes do it before they perform as it creates more focus, and energy, etc. And "Semen Retention" is an interesting idea that explores the benefits on not cumming, and harnessing its nutrients and all of that...

I am quitting porn now for the rest of the time I am in England. I could tell you how long I am stopping masturbating for, but you don't need to know that (at least two weeks). Because porn is instant gratification, and millennials like myself are addicted to instant gratification and it is really killing our ability to be with real people, and to work hard for something with out getting the reward for awhile. I talked to my acting instructors yesterday, and a quote they gave me was something like "I learned all the stuff from my acting training five years after I graduated". I don't remember the quote, but things don't start to click for awhile sometimes.

Work on yourself. You won't see the results right away but the best place to start is yourself. Because when you work on yourself, you are able to generate from that and give to other people. And life is about other people, your relationship to them and how you can benefit from each other. If you don't work on yourself you are cheating the people in your life from seeing the best version of you.

I talked about a lot of things, most of it is being better, and being in alignment with what you are committed to in life. And don't be on your phone so much, it is a cop out to reality and it kills your charisma! ;)

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