Re: The Ron Swanson appreciation thread

Searched youtube, but no clips

"All of you coachella 'regulars' have nasty boy pussies and itchy dick4's on your asses.
Why don't you all make like a tree and get chopped down and die. You all have been dreadfully mean to me.
I Hate you. All of you. None of you will ever get to see a womans chest meat or finger blast hott cougies like me.
Fuck you all. Consider this my resignation.
Fair the well, you elitest scumbags."— Faxman75, who has clearly had enough

Re: The Ron Swanson appreciation thread

You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.

Re: The Ron Swanson appreciation thread

THis is one of my favorites from it so far -

[–]CalamityJane1852 92 points 2 hours ago
What's a typical evening at home like with Megan?

[–]NickOfferman[S] 312 points 46 minutes ago
Oh, gosh. Well, we get dressed up as Marx Brothers (she's always Groucho or Harpo, and I'm Chico...whatever, she made the outfits.) and we get sauced on Gin and goofballs and run around the yard, sometimes with a lot of horn-honking, and then I set up the target rings at which Megan fires ****-pong balls and sometimes racquet balls from her vagina, often racking up an impressive tally of points (she got a 420 last night!), while I assemble my black powder muzzle-loader collection and fire lead balls at our neighbor, Charlie Sheen's secret wife's mom's jungle cats (I miss on purpose, I'm not a dick.) Normal Hollywood shit.

Re: The Ron Swanson appreciation thread

Re: The Ron Swanson appreciation thread

"If anyone wants to talk to me about any of my other interests — woodworking, novels about tall ships, meat..."

Quite possibly the best Ron Swanson quote (or episode) in the history of Ron Swanson.

My boyfriend doesn't like TV at all, but he LOVES Ron Swanson. If Ron Swanson worked with metal instead of wood, he and my boyfriend would be THE SAME PERSON. When Ron made Leslie's and Ben's rings for the wedding episode, and then went onto explain it in the closing teaser, boyfriend turned to me with the biggest, most goofy grin of glee because that's seriously him. I have definitely heard him say "People who buy things are suckers" more than once in our relationship.

He now talks about how he wants to go apprentice at Nick Offerman's woodshop — which, of course, I'd totally support because duh.