in case you missed it | We're anti-anti-abortion

There were long lines of people waving anti-abortion signs along a roadway near an abortion clinic in Colorado Springs on Oct. 2.

The next day, while we were walking on the CU-Boulder campus on the north side of Hellems, we noticed a sign warning us that there was graphic material ahead. Sure enough, there were a bunch of pictures of aborted fetuses and people handing out pamphlets about the evils of abortion, getting into arguments with passersby.

And at Boulder’s Sacred Heart of Mary Catholic Church, another bastion of tolerance, they have set up an Arlington-like cemetery of fake headstones representing the thousands of babies who have been aborted. That was original.

Do they really think they’re going to change anyone’s mind with these infantile demonstrations of bible-beating ignorance? If anything, these little freak shows just reinforce the beliefs of the pro-choice crowd.

And while they’re at it, why don’t they display some pictures of women who died from having crude back-alley abortions back when abortion was illegal? They exist and can be found in police files and coroner reports from those dark days when women risked death to end unwanted pregnancies.

Here’s some advice: If you don’t like abortion, don’t have one! And remember: Religion is like a penis. It’s OK to have one, and you can be proud of it if you want to be. But you really shouldn’t wave it around in public.

Go cash only

Bank of America has announced that it will start charging a $5 monthly fee for debit-card users. The new fee arrives as banks search for ways to make up revenue lost as the result of a new rule that limits how much they can collect in debit card fees from merchants. Allow us to explain.

The greedheads who run banks are the crack whores of the money world. They just can’t get enough. Now that they’re limited in their ability to force businesses that accept debit cards to pay ridiculous fees — which, in turn, forces businesses to raise their prices — they’re trying to find a new way to nickel and dime the world. It’s only one of the changes banks have been introducing to their fee structures in their never-ending quest for obscene profits, shareholder dividends and multi-million-dollar bonuses.

How about we introduce some fees of our own? How about a $30 “It Really Was the Bank’s Mistake” fee? Or a $15 “Shitty Customer Service” fee? Or how about a $5 “What’s This Confusing Bullshit on My Statement” fee? Don’t hold your breath. In the banking world, the ability to impose unfair, arbitrary fees goes one way.

But there is an answer: Pay in cash. That’s right. Pay off those credit cards, put your cash in a credit union, and chop up the plastic.

Wall Street ‘spring’

People across the country are camping out in parking lots and taking to the streets to protest corporate greed in the wake of 700 arrests on the Brooklyn Bridge this past weekend. Those protesters were part of an attempt to confront corporate greed and irresponsibility called “Occupy Wall Street.”

While the dudes in $6,000 custom-tailored suits may have thought the cops would make it all go away, protests are popping up across the country from St. Louis to Los Angeles to Portland, Maine, to Denver.

Hundreds of people have been gathering each day in protest of corporate greed, using Civic Center Park as their staging area. Daily rallies are held at 3 and 7 p.m. each day. Congress listens to corporate lobbyists all day; this is an attempt to expose Congress and corporate leaders to the thoughts of the average American.

Though some in the media are likening the protesters to liberal tea partiers, we prefer to think of the ordinary men and women who brought down unjust systems in the Arab world this past spring. These aren’t just young people, but also unemployed workers whose jobs were lost thanks to corporate scheming.