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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candle Sells Out, People Really Excited About Their Home Smelling Like They Just Had Sex

When Gwyneth Paltrow announced that her website Goop would be selling a candle that smelled like her vagina, people laughed. They scoffed. The more sensible among us kind of gagged. “Pepper Potts is selling a vagina candle?” people asked themselves. “What would Tony say?” Well, first of all, Tony Stark would be among the first to buy it, easily forking over the $75 this candle is being sold for. Secondly, before you picture Ms. Paltrow doing gross things via mass production, you should know that the candle is actually just a combination of bergamot, cedar, rose, and a few other ingredients. According to the product description, the candle was designed “to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth” and is a “funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected scent.”

No, Gwyneth Paltrow selling a candle that smells like her vagina wasn’t expected at all and people laughed. But guess what? The candles sold out and now Paltrow herself is laughing all the way to the bank. She may not have that Stark money, but she probably made more money from her vagina candle than most of us will make all year at our jobs. Plus, ironically, those who actually bought the candle probably don’t know what an actual vagina looks, smells or feels like, so she could have just made it smell like anything and her customers wouldn’t know the difference. Who’s the real hero, we ask you?