A STUDY has shown (therefore it must be true) that beautiful people are happier and more successfull than average looking people. A notable case study that provides supporting evidence is the story of my beloved Inter. Examining the data from the last 10 years, it becomes apparent that we do better under attractive and generally “classy”-looking managers. Under ugly Marco Tardelli we were crap. The more dignified looking Hector Cuper did better, but further analysis shows he’s kind of ugly too. Ignoring our one game caretaker manager Corrado Verdelli, we reach Alberto Zaccheroni. This marked further ugliness and further failure.

And now finally we enter the glory years. For your viewing pleasure, messrs Mancini and Mourinho:

Needless to say, we dominated under these guys, especially the gorgeous Mr. Jose. For some reason, the powers that be decided to change this highly successful managerial appointment strategy and hired this guy:

Disaster followed, until the leadership realized that we need to bring sexy back and hired Leonardo:

Leonardo has now left, and Mr. Gasperini will soon take over. So will we succeed? YOU DECIDE!

Why are we so obsessed with animal imagery to explain economic phenomenon? Bulls and bears are the most prominent example, but there are also Asian Tigers, the Chinese Dragon, and more recent (and irritating) Indian elephant and African Cheetah Generation. My guess is that these symbols are much easier to process than the complex realities that actually characterize economies. Like hero narratives dominate popular understandings of history (“Gandhi led India to freedom”, “Lincoln freed the slaves”), current situations are also more digestible when presented in simple terms.

Interestingly, animal metaphors seem to be preferred over industrial or mechanical ones (Chinese Rocket Economy?). Does this represent an acknowledgement that, these change processes are organic and unpredictable, not mechanized and standardizable? Probably not, but I still like the thought.