Pat left the States for a new life in the German capital. Enjoy here his retellings of his daily life spent ostensibly in pursuit of foreign culture (or at least food not crammed into intestinal casings), the temporary love of international women (helpfully, the German language uses the same verb for "to know, Biblically" as for "to assist in locating the appropriate city bus line"), and the glamor and intrigue of life as an expatriate.
(Spoiler alert: He's doing it wrong.)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

"In the 17 months since we acknowledged receipt of your application for the open position in Beirut working as an English editor, we have decided instead to fill that position by hiring Nobody. We were very impressed with your credentials and are sure that you will find much success with another organization, but we simply could not overlook the opportunity to instead hire Nobody.

"Although we don't want to point fingers, we do want to note the rushed timing of only having seventeen months to consider the application of multiple highly qualified individuals, including Nobody, so while we understand you may be disappointed, we trust you will reach the same conclusion we did, that as impressive as your qualifications are, you ain't better than Nobody.