I love avocados, sometimes (read: daily) stand on my head to get my creative juices flowing, and I could listen to The Beatles sing, “I’ve Just Seen A Face” everyday, for the rest of forever.

Wondering what goes on here? Yup, so are the rest of us.

1. I am a lifestyle photographer. I have the most remarkable clients in the world, and I share their images here to inspire us all to live life with greater love, meaning and joy.

2. I am a writer. This blog is full of many of the curious thinks I have thunk.

3. I am a speaker and life/business consultant. I post upcoming speaking engagements and consulting information here as well.

4. I am most fulfilled by my work as a wife and mother to my 4 sons, one of whom now lives in Heaven. I share bits and pieces of our journey here on this blog. Including our ongoing struggle with grief, our experiences with ADHD and SPD, and our solid faith in a God much bigger than the challenges we face.

But ultimately, I hope that this blog is about something much bigger than all of that.My dream is for this blog to be a place where real life comes to be celebrated and enthusiastically embraced. Not just the pretty stuff, with tailored hems, clean lines,and the new colors for spring . . . but everything else, too. The frazzled mornings, broken hearts, crazy dreams, messy kitchens. . . even the fear, failure, hopelessness and devastation. I want this blog to be a place for every bit of what makes us all living, breathing, feeling human beings, experiencing together this remarkable thing called life.

May this be a place of passion, purpose, laughter, tears, friendship, encouragement and inspiration for us all.

In 2010, our perfect *”Baby Gavin” returned to Heaven after losing a courageous battle with **Pertussis (whooping cough). We are eternally and profoundly grateful to the thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of friends and strangers from all over the world, of all faiths and creeds, who united with our family in prayer during Baby Gavin’s horrific illness and who grieved with us and continued to petition God in our behalf during the dark days following his tragic death. You may read Gavin’s story as it unfolded by visiting my old blog here. I am committed to sharing my ongoing struggles with grief and our journey toward joy here on the new blog. I am always humbled and amazed by the continued outpouring of love and support. Thank you for sharing in our journey and inspiring us with your unceasing love! God is good!

*My brother Gavin passed away unexpectedly in 2007. With all these Angel Gavins, it can get a little confusing at times, so just know that when I refer to “Gavin” I’m referring to my wonderful brother. When I refer to “Baby Gavin,” it is in reference to my perfect son, both of whom I cannot wait to see in Heaven!

**You will periodically see me blog about The Sounds of Pertussis campaign. I am an unpaid spokesperson and am only compensated travel expenses where applicable for my involvement with this important cause. Join our fight against this deadly communicable disease at www.soundsofpertussis.com or like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/soundsofpertussis.

The smell, the ninja-esque cleaning power, the all-in-one-ness. I die.

Amazing.

If they were a human, I’d have them over for a congratulatory BBQ to celebrate their utter awesomeness.

Buy them.

The end.

(Seeing as I’m blogging from my phone, there is a high probability that the resolution on the above image is poor. I promise to remedy said problem, should it in fact exist, just as soon as I get home from field trippin’ it with Raleigh-Roo tomorrow at the science museum! Thank Jupiter it’s indoors. It was 107 degrees today! Somebody please remind Arizona that it is, in fact, still MAY. Good gravy!)

Post Edited to Include (at 10:02 pm the next day might I add): WHAT THE HECK PEOPLE! I knew the resolution would be bad, but THAT BAD?? How did none of you send out a search party and TELL ME?! Holy cow patty. Problem (finally) solved, no thanks to YOU. ;)

(And no, I am in no way affiliated with Tide. But thank you, all the same, for questioning the sincerity of my enthusiasm. Mwahahaha.)

natalie:
Mac, Apparently these work the same for large or small loads, the only time you add extra (supposedly) is for heavily stained loads. In that case you apparently just add an extra pod... Now, I'm a newbie, so don't take me at my word! May 16, 2012 8:12 pm

shannon m:
your ps. Funny. In our defense (I'm speaking for all of us!), you said you were going to fix it. Also, speaking for all of us, it gave us a chuckle to see that yes, the resolution was quite poor, as predicted. :) May 17, 2012 9:26 am

natalie:
Shanon, That was beyond poor resolution. That was a whole new animal. I was dying when I pulled it up on a regular computer! Ha ha ha! May 17, 2012 9:42 am

Sarah Banks:
My mom bought them for me too! Yeah for moms. i love them especially because they are so easy to take to the BYU student housing laundry. No more luggin my big soap! :) May 19, 2012 2:30 pm

Natalie Norton:
Sarah! Oh my goodness! I never even thought of that! If you're a laundromat user, these are A MUST. Absolutely! May 20, 2012 10:41 pm

When I was a teenager, my mom and I used to head up American Fork Canyon every morning to hike the trail to Timpanogos Cave. Some of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life occurred on the face of that mountain. It was there I learned to listen to my Father in Heaven (I’d always been very good at talking AT Him).

These early morning adventures are among my most treasured memories with my mother. However, one experience stands high above the rest.

I may have a stronger build than Mom, but boy does that woman have endurance. She can go and go and go and go and go. But when you’re 16 years old, you’re supposed to be faster, stronger, and more fit than your old lady mom. I was none of the above. And it was INFURIATING.

On this particular day, I was determined not to finish in her shadow. As we approached the final stretch of the trail, 3 steep switchbacks (byfar the steepest of the entire climb), I opened the throttle. I literally sprinted the remaining distance to the top of the mountain.

VICTORY!

But the sense of accomplishment very quickly gave way to absolute terror. I reached for my throat, desperately gasping for air.

None came.

I panicked. I began to feel dizzy. Thankfully, I was coherent enough to lower myself to the ground in order to avoid falling over the edge. The harder I tried to gasp for breath, the more frantic I became. I could not breathe. I was horrified, certain I was going to die. A few other hikers had gathered around, but that detail is foggy. I don’t remember what they said, if anything, or what they did, if anything. I just remember them being there, and I remember sensing their sincere concern for me. The next thing I clearly remember was my mom trotting up over the top of the trail. The moment she saw me, she rushed to my side.

All she did was place her hand on my back.

Immediately, I took a long, deep breath. And another, and another. . .

For the last year and a half I have been heavily involved in The Making Things Happen Intensive. This is work I believe in. It is rich and fulfilling. It has made me a better person in every way.

And . . . it’s time to say goodbye.

As much as I love this work, the girls (Gina, Lara, Em) and the remarkable alum, the reality is this: God has been knocking on my heart for some time now, and just like I learned during those mornings on the trail, all those years ago, I need to remember to listen.

(Yes, I’m licking my son’s face. Believe me, the punk had it coming.)

As it relates to my professional life, this may be a big, bad business decision (and by “may be” I mean “most certainly is”).

Yes, I am afraid. There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty ahead. But I am absolutely certain that I am being called home, and I am thus absolutely certain that I will NEVER live to regret this decision. . . as difficult as it has been to make.

As much as I hate saying “goodbye” to something I love so very, very much, I am also saying “hello.” I’m saying “hello” to something I love even more.

Clearly the last 5 years haven’t exactly been easy on my family. It’s important to remember that not only did my boys lose their brother, they also lost their uncle. . . who had lived with (or very near) them for the entirety of their lives. Their sense of loss has been tremendous, beyond anything I could have ever imagined would be our reality. They still struggle daily from the remnants of this devastation. . . and though I firmly believe that they will eventually heal, I also believe that they will continue to struggle for some time to come.

They need me. Here. To wrap my arms around them and echo my mother before me.

PS- I love you Lara, Gina and Emily. Your response to all of this has been nothing less than as gracious and supportive as everything I have come to expect from each of you. You are remarkable. Exceptional. The best friends I ever could have dreamed up in my very wildest of imaginings. I’ll always, ALWAYS, be your biggest supporter and your number one fan.

Lisa:
Lots of love to you and your family! You're making the right decision for you for right now, and that's amazing and beautiful and so difficult yet so easy when it becomes clear. Love those gorgeous portraits- you are so blessed. I know you won't give up on your art and you'll continue to share your gift with those most precious to you, and when the time is right you'll be back. Make every moment beautiful. May 14, 2012 12:22 am

Stephanie:
Proud of you! You are a great example and mom. May 14, 2012 1:49 am

Amelia Lyon:
What a wonderful & bold decision Natalie. I yearn to embrace that nurturing role of motherhood. While I enjoy my business & it fulfills me creatively, I know my place is more with my family & teaching & guiding my children. Thank you for the reminder. Lately I've been blessed with more "time" to nurture my family (that means less weddings), but my pocket book isn't hurting, in fact we're doing really well. I knows the Lird provides when we do what he asks of us. I love you dear & I loved this post! May 14, 2012 2:51 am

Victoria Derrick:
Your strength as a person, mom, and wife is nothing short of admirable. Xoxo May 14, 2012 4:58 am

jodi renee:
no decision is a 'wrong' decision when it's made from the heart. You're remarkable. Your family is blessed to have you! love you...xo May 14, 2012 5:22 am

Emily Ley:
I'm so so so so so proud of you Natalie. And I missed you dearly on our trip. You're one of the most remarkable mothers I know and I have no doubt God is leading your footsteps in the right direction. XOXOXOXOXO Emily May 14, 2012 8:59 am

Shefali Lindsey:
Natalie, I am SO proud of you for choosing to do what God has called you to do. Those kind of decisions are hard and scary, but in time, you will see it was the BEST decision for your family and YOU! I am about to take a huge leap of faith and quit my job to go back to school full-time as an OT student. I am scared, nervous and out of my mind excited. I know this does not come close to the decision of being an amazing mother, but your words sat well with me. They reminded me that decisions are sometimes scary and sometimes out of our control, but they are the BEST when we trust God! xoxoxox Shefy May 14, 2012 10:10 am

Molly:
Big hugs and hoorahs for this decision. There is no doubt that you can make a difference in the world. The real question is how to make a difference in the lives that count!
Love you! May 14, 2012 7:08 pm

Petronella:
Natalie, though we never physically met, I felt your heart through your posts. I'm excited for you in this next walk & chapter of your life! Love P May 14, 2012 8:29 pm

Liz:
Are you sure you weren't on the MTH2012 Spring Tour? :) May 11, 2012 5:36 am

Shefali Lindsey:
Natalie, I LOVE this photo! You have a beautiful heart, and I am constantly inspired as how you life choices are done ALWAYS with keeping of those you love and hold dear to you. Beautiful. xoxo May 11, 2012 8:41 am

Kate:
As always, authentic words of grace. Thank you for sharing and for your example. May 14, 2012 6:25 am

The first time, I worried over what to wear, how to sit, what to say. What colors would be most flattering? Should I cross my legs? Which statistics would pack the most punch?

I’ll be honest. In the verybeginning it was fun. For a total of about 33 seconds.

Then you remember what you’re doing it all for. You remember what it felt like to kick and scream and pray and bargain and plead. You remember what it felt like to put your child in the ground.

Yes, you remember why you’re here. And you stop caring what you’re wearing or how it will look under the lights. You stop caring if you’re eyebrows look even or if you brought the right color slip.

I remember after Raleigh was born, I’d fantasize of a full night’s sleep. I’d imagine how wonderful it would feel to go to a hotel room, all by myself, climb in to bed. . . and wake up in the morning. UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. Oh. The. Glory. Now? I’d give exactly anything for Gavin to interrupt my sleep. Heck, I’d be perfectly happy with that arrangement all the way until he turned 18. Where do I sign?

I’m only an hour from home, but it may as well be 4,000 for how lonely I feel. I tucked the boys in to bed, and I’ll likely be back home before they even wake up in the morning. Even so.

Hold them close. As hard as it is, the sleepless nights, the changes in your body, the new dynamic as husband and wife, the laundry, the messes, the MADNESS, it’s such a gift. Every bit of it. I hope you NEVER have to learn first hand just what a BEAUTIFUL gift it really is.

Yes, I’d love to be home. In my husband’s arms, with a bed wetting toddler in the room next door. But yet, here I am. All alone. Wishing to be anywhere but here. Anything but this. But on the other side of all that pain, I’m so happy to be doing this. So willing to be making this TINY little sacrifice of time and emotional energy.

. . . Because babies are still dying. And every time one does, I think, “AREN’T YOU PEOPLE LISTENING?!”

I don’t know how to make my voice loud enough. I don’t know how to say this all in the right way, in the way that will STICK. In the way that will inspire ACTION. So I’ll just keep on saying it, over and over and over again. Hoping and praying that the right people hear.

4:45 am call time over at ABC. Time to tuck myself in. Wish you were here Rich. Love you millions.

Good night, all.

xo,

N

PS. The title of this post is mostly for me. . . we sang a song in church today. . . one of my veryfavorites. One of the lines is “the blessings of God on our labors we’ll seek,” and I suppose that’s what I’m doing. . . my very best. Seeking His blessings along the way. Knowing I’m not enough on my own. Knowing I can’t make a dent in this big bad world all by my broken little self. Praying that HE hears my voice and somehow amplifies it in ways that only He can.

POST EDITED TO INCLUDE: 5:35 am. I did the interview for the 5:00 hour. It was by FAR the worst interview I’ve ever done. I felt so blindsided and unprepared. There was a breach in communication as to my expectations and what actually happened at ABC this morning. Then. . . my story was bumped from the 6:00 hour because of breaking news of a house, car, apartment fire in the area. That’s show biz, baby. But here I am, back in this lonely hotel room. Quite certain that I am the reason the story was bumped and that the fire was the cover. Bleh. Anybody have a time machine? I’m ready to go back to my real life. . . where babies are healthy, and mommie’s are frazzled because of being up all night, not because they woke up at the crack of dawn to botch morning show interviews at ABC.

Rachel Esther:
Thank you. For sharing this particular thought. For being a warrior. For being vulnerable. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and wondering how on earth I'm going to cope. But one thing, because of you, that I have been able to confidently do, is ask all our immediate family to get their vaccinations. To protect our baby. Thank you. Thanks you. For your strength and your encouragement. May 7, 2012 12:32 am

Kate:
You and your words are powerful. They are making a difference. Thank you for being strong enough to say them. May 7, 2012 5:08 am

Wendy Robert:
The only failure in life is never trying. You did not have anything to do with the segment getting bumped, you were there, you were advocating and that is NEVER a bad thing.
What you do is important no matter how you do it. Your words come from a place that many of us do not know. You are part of the statistic so every word that you speak is from that place.
I was brought to this blog quite some time ago from an article that you did at DPS. I read Gavin's story and it stuck. Here in Vermont the debate recently raged on about philosophical exemption to vaccines. I have many, many friends who do not vaccinate and yours is the story I tell over and over and over again. So remember that you make a difference in every way whether it be a blurb on ABC or a post on here or an article somewhere else in cyber space that leads us to here. You are being heard. May 7, 2012 7:53 am

Shelly:
Your messages IS being heard. Don't forget all those hundreds of people that have written in saying that they and their families are now vaccinated. And that's only the ones that have written to you! I've often tried to figure out how many thousands of lives that translates into. But if it's only one, I can promise you that that mother thanks you, if not today, but in the eternities. I love you. May 7, 2012 9:56 am

Shelly:
"Message", not messages. May 7, 2012 9:57 am

Kim Orlandini:
You are still my hero and I agree with Richie, you could never mess up anything. You are the best. Love you! May 7, 2012 10:13 am

Heather:
I so much needed to read this today. You gave me the encouragement and lift I needed to hear. My 3rd little boy is just shy of 3 weeks old and because of you before I left the hospital I got my Tdap booster. My whole family and every single person on each side of our extended family did. There have been outbreaks of Pertussis here in UT and I am scared to death. Also, with a 4 yr. old and 2 1/2 yr. old I have been feeling so tired. But I'm trying to soak in this newborn phase because I know how fleeting and precious it is. Your words made me cry as I read them. Despite the tiredness, I can do this! Thank you. May 7, 2012 1:11 pm

Ali:
"Hold them close. As hard as it is, the sleepless nights, the changes in your body, the new dynamic as husband and wife, the laundry, the messes, the MADNESS, it’s such a gift. Every bit of it. I hope you NEVER have to learn first hand just what a BEAUTIFUL gift it really is."
Raising two little boys has felt like a refiners fire a lot of the time lately but I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and how many messes and tantrums I am faced with daily and just be grateful for this precious gift. We dont know each other in real life but your words today are an answer to my prayers. May 7, 2012 8:30 pm

lillie:
If every word you delivered in person, when a camera is in your face and a strange, intimidating professional is asking the questions--- were as perfectly chosen and delivered as they are in writing... you would not be real. And then we would all relate and listen less. You could NOT have botched that interview. Because all you have is a true story and a crucial message. You are doing so much! I hope your'e already feeling 100% better about it. It's not fair after everything else... that you should ever have to feel that stress of being just the right interviewee... all you can do is share and share and share your heart-wrenching story and message so that it will happen less and less to others.... THANK YOU. May 8, 2012 9:59 am

Melinda Kendall:
"Hold them close. As hard as it is, the sleepless nights, the changes in your body, the new dynamic as husband and wife, the laundry, the messes, the MADNESS, it’s such a gift. Every bit of it. I hope you NEVER have to learn first hand just what a BEAUTIFUL gift it really is."
Natalie, I needed to hear that. The changes in my body, the messy house, the sickness, etc... and I'm only half way through my pregnancy. I feel like I've been so negative. Thank you for saying that. May 8, 2012 1:49 pm

Jo:
Oh, beautiful Nat, you don't need a time machine. As much as I'm am sure you want one to go back and change many days, have faith that God has you where He wants you, doing what He needs you doing. This bumpy, rocky, frustrating and heartbreaking road He has chosen for you may not be the one you want but HAVE FAITH that you are wonderfully made for it. God has used you and Baby Gavin for so much good; so many people, especially me, are very thankful and forever changed, xxxooo May 8, 2012 6:21 pm

Amie W:
You did it again. You reached in a touched my heart. Every little piece. Sometimes I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Thank goodness that love has a way of putting our hearts back together again. It comes in moments. Someday our hearts will stay whole forever. Until then, we keep on keeping on. Thank you dear friend. Love you. May 10, 2012 12:33 am

Anna:
Natalie, I just LOVE your blog. A dear friend referred me to your site a month ago after we lost our infant son to SIDS. your journey has been so inspiring to me and you speak so eloquently to the pain of losing a baby and also the struggle to find life again. Thank you for this blog! May 11, 2012 1:59 pm

Diane:
You are such a trooper for continuing to get the message out there. I watched the video clip and you were well spoken and very passionate. I can't figure out why people are not listening to this and not moving forward to stop this horrible disease!
I keep sending this info to my friends and family in Canada hoping they will hear your message too! May 12, 2012 9:22 am

Sally:
My family has all been vaccinated because of your story. You are making a difference, you really are. Love and Aloha. May 12, 2012 11:21 pm

www.hnefatafl.info:
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it
for you? Plz reply as I'm looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. many thanks May 8, 2013 10:11 am