I have a 17 year old DS about to take his test and he has friends all doing the same. I don't think I am going to sleep for the next two years.There is a government proposal to impose stringent restrictions on young new drivers. In Northern Ireland for example, novice motorists must carry an R-plate and are not allowed to drive faster than 45 mph until they have been driving for a year.The UK proposals go further, they include a 12 month minimum learning period and a ban on carrying passengers other than close family for the first year. Won't be in time for DS1 though.

I have told DS I don't want him giving lifts to friends or going in their cars. I know how distracting it is for me to have a car full of 17 year old boys let alone an inexperienced driver. Not to mention the showing off factor.

A code word is a very good idea. I know it's embarrassing for DD if I dare to phone her and she's in earshot if her mates! And I'd hate for her to be stuck in an awkward/ dangerous situation all because of a bit of embarrassment .

That's good to know Land . Thankyou for the reassurance. I know I seem to be tarring all youngsters with the same brush and I'm sure most new drivers are very protective of their hard won/ expensive licence .

I have an 18 yo who passed his test in December, most of his friends have passed their tests too. IME, with DS1 and his friends, they are very, very unlikely to speed because they (or their parents) have invested a lot of money in getting their license and if they get 6 points in the first 2 years, they have their license revoked and they have to go though the whole process.

I know statistically they are more likely to have an accident, and 1:3 young males crash within 2 years of passing their test, but that also means 2:3 don't.

DS1 rarely goes out at night, he still isn't overly confident in the dark, and if he does go the only passenger he does take is DS2. I have banned them from having the radio on after dark, I keep taking him out to build up his confidence and he is doing Pass Plus with his old instructor soon.

The scariest statistics are for young, new drivers with passengers.....

Talk to your DD's friend. The choco household is coming into this now too - so far just the one driver. When my 16YO DD first asked if it would be okay for him to drive her to the cinema (in the city centre) I said no and she was okay, but I know it's very difficult if your DD doesn't understand your fears.

DD does now go out in his car, but only after he himself asked if it would be okay and said all the right things about driving safely - including that his DF had advised him that if he was ever thinking about doing something stupid to do it when he was on his own in the car. He also confessed to having had a couple of scrapes in his car. I don't know how I'd be if he had only just passed though (he's nine months into driving).

DD and another friend were discussing whose car they would go in when their friends have passed their tests. They agreed they'd be driven by some but not all of their friends.

On the other hand, my SIL trusts her 15YO DD to decide for herself whether her friends are safe....

I agree. I think you should get a definite agreement about the seatbelt-wearing, telling the driver to slow down, and keeping in touch. And check he has insurance. And do that thing with the speed signs.

I don't blame you for worrying. I was in two car smashes as a teenager, both being driven by 17/18 year olds who were simply going too fast round corners. My DD is 17 and they are all starting to learn to drive and ride mopeds and scooters and yet they seem like toddlers with some of their other behaviour.