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Rylad has a little brother. He was born early this morning and is perfect. I think he looks a lot like Sath. I was at the clinic in town since the night before. Lani has a room for overnight patients which is good as the baby was born overnight. Esladra said I could have had him at home, but I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with growing up with my father’s clinic being just in the front of the house. I felt a lot safer knowing that if anything went wrong, everything was right there.

Lani and Esladra both attended the birth. Lani had sent Vaildor to the school to ask Hethurin to get father from Silvermoon. A portal would be fastest, but Vaildor returned and said Hethurin was on errands. Tik didn’t know when he’d be back! Vaildor went again this morning, after the baby was already here, and Hethurin is still gone. Luckily, one of the students helped him get to Silvermoon and back so father is finally here. He’s staying in Lani’s guestroom, and wants to hold the baby all the time.

Sath passed out at one point during the birth. I think he was just that excited. It was really cute. He likes to hold the baby while he’s sleeping.

I’ve done it. I’ve left Murder Row. Of course, I have more reason now than ever before. Not that I didn’t have good reasons before, it’s just more relevant to my continued survival now. There have been some murders there recently that seem to be targeted towards the male workers there. At least, that’s what the others and myself were able to put together. Unfortunately, there’s rarely any investigation into these things in the Row. They just send someone to pick up the body, then it’s over. A lot of times they’re slow about coming to get the body, so more than enough people see the evidence. This time, there was enough to put together that the murders are connected.

I was lucky because an old friend, Aeramin, hired me to dance for a party. He used to work the Row as well, so I knew he would understand, and with him not on the Row now, and a mage on top of that, I figured he might have some ideas about where I could work. I explained everything to him when he came to make the portal to the party location, and he said he would see what he could do.

He found a job for me with the rangers! I couldn’t believe it when he told me I had to meet the ranger captain. I’ve never held a bow before in my life! I’m immensely grateful for the opportunity, but there’s a lot of training to do. I met with the captain, and I was able to start staying there immediately.

There are two other guys staying in the men’s quarters. Well, three, but one doesn’t really count because he’s a death knight and doesn’t sleep. I’m doing my best to make friends here, but I guess they don’t like it when I flirt with them. I find it really difficult to not flirt with guys. It’s just what I’ve always done, and it worked out well for me before. But yet, here, it’s different. I didn’t even mean anything by it, but the one ranger instructor does have a nice butt. I guess he didn’t like me looking because now they have a woman training me.

She’s nice. Her name is Linarelle. All the girls are nice. I think I get along okay with them. It’s the guys who don’t like me. One of the guys who stays here is Aeramin’s father, and I accidentally flirted with him. Then he said something about catching me in bed with his son once. I don’t even want to talk to him again. I’m so embarrassed. I do kind of remember that, but I wish he didn’t! Then the other one who stays here has a girlfriend. He had to tell me a couple times before I decided it was a bad idea to try to talk to him again.

Then the death knight wanted to know why I didn’t flirt with him. Umm, because he’s dead and that’s just a little gross, maybe? That’s what I said to him because it’s the truth. He actually seemed to be mad that I wasn’t flirting with him. Maybe that’s just the way he is. Death knights must be mad a lot of the time.

I’ve accidentally flirted with Aeramin too. He doesn’t get mad at me. He just says it’s nice, but he has a boyfriend. I’ve met his boyfriend, and wow! No, I don’t expect Aeramin would be interested in anything with me right now. That guy has a really nice body. His boyfriend didn’t seem interested in me either. It’s almost like no one does anything out here!

Anyway, his boyfriend is actually trying to investigate the murders. I don’t know if anything will come from it, but I told him all I could remember about what I heard. While I may be safely away from the Row, I have many friends who are still there. They are still in danger. I really hope he can find the guy.

I hope to visit my friends soon, but I have to ask Aeramin for a portal there. I don’t want it to be a portal where I go through and then I’m stuck there either. I need him to go with me so that I can get back! I’m not sure how keen he is on going there and seeing some of the other guys. Hopefully, he won’t mind. I’d like to see them to find out if there’s any new information.

We have a new guy from Silvermoon. He’s come to us completely untrained so he can’t take an assignment for patrol yet. The first full day he was here, I stayed behind to train him, and let Arancon and Kavia take our patrol without me.

The new guy’s name is Julan and I can already tell he’s going to be difficult to teach. I do think he’s willing to try, but he has some habits that he learned in the city that he’ll have to lose if he wants to get along well with everyone without making things weird. I have spoken with him a bit, and told him that it’s not really acceptable to be trying to pick up all the guys here. He says he understands, but then he still does it. At least he apologizes now as soon as he realizes he’s done it again. I spoke with Arancon and Perothis before going back to the cabin the other night, and he’s apparently hit on both of them already. Perothis told him he has a girlfriend, and Arancon said he shut him up by asking if he didn’t catch him in bed with his son once. Anyway, I plan to speak to Julan again, and reiterate that it might be a good idea to get to know people before flirting that heavily with them.

I’m a bit worried about him fitting in. Arancon and Perothis also mentioned they changed their bunks to be opposite the side of the room that Julan sleeps on. They said he has dreams and talks in his sleep. I can only imagine. Maybe he’s just restless with being in a new place.

During his first day of training, we talked a bit where he was from, and what kind of skills he has. Oh boy, do I regret asking that! The short version is, he has no training useful to a ranger. He is in good physical shape, and has motivation to stay here and learn. He’s from Murder Row, the son of a prostitute and until now, a prostitute himself.

I’ve not seen him talk to any of the women here like he talks to the men, so I spoke to Lin about him. She’s agreed to try training him. Perhaps he would be able to stay more focused with her. I should have warned her not to ask about his skills.

I guess I’ve known for about a month or so. I mean the biggest clue was missing the monthly visitor, but I wanted to wait until I was sure before going to see my sisters in town to confirm. I’ve no doubt they’ve already written to father about it, probably as soon as I left to go back to the ranger building. Anyway, I’m pregnant. Sath is going to be a father, and Rylad is going to be a big brother.

My first clue was being tired all the time. That’s been going on for a few weeks now. There were a few times I wanted to nap on our short break during patrol! We stop by the school for lunch fairly often as Perothis wants to eat there with Desdeyliri. Normally, I talk to my brother a bit, but he’s been busy with his wedding plans so I just eat then go to sit in the garden for a bit. More than once, I caught myself with my eyes closed. As I remember with Rylad, this part does eventually go away, so I’ll be glad when it does!

I’ve not felt sick much this time, only very occasionally, so that’s different from what I experienced with Rylad. I was sick all the time then!

I wanted to do something special to let Sath know so I’ve bought a toy tiger cub, and put it in a box. I left a note with it, telling him that it was his cub to hold until the real one arrives. I plan to give it to him tonight. I can’t wait! I’ll tell Rylad too, but I’m not sure he’s old enough to really understand.

I did speak with my brother for a very short time at lunch once earlier this week. He’s talking about adopting a little girl at an orphanage in Silvermoon, and keeps talking about buying her dolls and everything. Hopefully, he knows there’s more to raising a child than just buying toys. I think he knows. He does run a school after all.

I didn’t tell him that I’m having another. Only five people know right now; my sisters, Isandri, and two of the other rangers. I’m sure Lani’s told her husband, but I did ask her to keep it quiet until I’ve had the chance to tell Sath. He’s going to be so happy!

Things aren’t going so well. Lin didn’t know if she wants to be with me or not anymore. I asked her because she seemed so unhappy with me, and thought she’d laugh and say no, but she said she didn’t know instead. I’m kind of glad she told me before the ball. It would have been much worse, and very embarrassing, to find out with all those people around.

She hates Blinky. I guess she’s jealous of him or something. I thought she understood that I needed to train him. I do spend a lot of time on that. He’s not like a cat or a dragonhawk. He needs more time to learn a command. If I don’t train him, I’ll just have a useless lizard. I offered to get rid of him and get a pre-trained dragonhawk like most rangers do when they want an animal companion. She said no. I thought it was special because we went together to get the lizard and the moth. I guess it wasn’t so great for her.

I tried talking to the others about it. I even told the Captain and Ty about the ring. I had gone into the city yesterday morning to cancel the order, but they had it done already. Since I had paid in advance to have it ready on the day of the ball, and it was already done, I just wound up taking it back to the Ghostlands. I carried it around while cleaning out the spider cave. It only made me feel worse.

I spoke with Arancon about it first. Even though he’s about 100 years older than me, we’ve become good friends. He told me that women say crazy things sometimes, and I should just forget about it. He thought I should have went camping with her when she asked. From what he’s said about his Maena, I think she might have actually been crazy. Well, I guess she was for sure towards the end, but I think she might have been earlier too. Anyway, I’ve already tried to forget it, but her words keep echoing in my head. I don’t know.

Over and over.

I couldn’t keep the ring. Every time I thought about it being in my pocket, I just heard her say she didn’t know again. I showed it to the Captain and Ty, then I threw it in the river near the ranger building. I didn’t want it around me anymore to remind me that everything was definitely not as great as I had thought it was.

It seems no one understands how I feel. I kept trying to talk about it with Ty and the Captain, but they only seemed concerned that I try to make Linarelle happy. As if I haven’t been trying the past half year. I thought things were going great, and that was shattered when she said she didn’t know. Anything I said about me being upset seemed to be ignored.

She didn’t try to talk to me all day yesterday, not even to help train Blinky. She’ll be happy without me.

I left early this morning. There’s really no point in waiting for her to decide she doesn’t want me. She was there before me, and I figured I should go before things get awkward. I asked the Captain to put in a transfer request for me to Eversong, but I’m pretty sure that request wouldn’t have ever been sent, so I threw my stuff in my bag while it was still dark out, and went to the school. I waited outside for a bit while it got lighter. It was nice watching the sunrise at the sea. I knocked when I was sure someone was awake to answer the door. The butler answered and took me to the mage who was eating breakfast in the kitchen. I asked for a portal to Shattrath, and told him I didn’t need a portal back. He asked if I was sure, so I told him I had things to do, and didn’t know when I’d be ready to come back. He told me I’d probably be able to find a mage for a portal home at the library. I nodded. He made the portal and now I’m here.

I had Blinky with me so my first concern was finding him a new home. He probably wouldn’t be able to survive on his own now. I wasn’t sure where to start looking for an animal caretaker so I just wandered around the Lower City for a bit. I didn’t see anything there so I started heading back to the Scryer’s Tier to inquire about getting a room at the inn for the night. I hadn’t reached the elevator when a draenei with a large moth walked by me. The moth fluttered beside him, evenly matching his moving speed. I approached him and asked him about the moth in my poorly spoken common. I was lucky he understood. He said he trained it on his own, and that he has a stable of animals at his home. I asked him if he had ever trained a warpstalker, and showed him Blinky. He was impressed how I had taught him to follow without a leash at his age. Then I told him I needed to find a new home for him, and he agreed to take him.

I don’t know what’s next. I’m staying here for the night, then I’ll probably go off and explore or something. Hopefully I’ll find something that can occupy my mind so that I can let her go. Something to make me forget what she said, and what I thought I had.

Things have been going fairly well. The winters here in the Ghostlands are much colder than they are in Silvermoon. Luckily, the ranger building was built with that in mind. I only freeze while on patrol. The scar hurts more in the cold, so that slowed me down a bit, but then there were some days where everything was covered in ice, which slowed Sunashe down more with his prosthetic leg, so it evened out. I think both of us are happy that it’s starting to warm up a bit.

I’m keeping busy most days. It’s kind of funny. Sunashe and I are good friends, and when he started pursuing a relationship with Linarelle, I was worried I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, no one to distract me when I needed it most. I was worried that I’d be alone and I know there’s wine here. I feared that I’d start drinking again. Then a miracle happened. I became a grandfather. My granddaughter has stolen my heart and that’s helped my resolve not to drink. Of course things are complicated. They usually are when they involve my son. He blames me for everything that’s ever gone wrong for him, and maybe there’s a little truth in it. I wasn’t a very good father, but then again, so far, neither is he. I wish I could go back and do things differently, but then I wonder if it really would have helped. Maybe things would be worse. I can’t let myself dwell on it though. There’s nothing to do to change it now. I can only move forward.

I’m going to do my best for Lyorri, and I’m going to try to do my best for Aeramin. I’m not sure there’s much left to salvage to build a relationship on with him, but I know that he cares, even if he’ll never say it. He came to check on me now and then, and he helped me move out here, which is something I’m extremely grateful for. I met the rangers, and found support to quit drinking. Without his help, I’d still be drunk in Silvermoon. He’s also come to see me a few times, though usually it is to yell at me. I let him yell. He’s angry, and I don’t blame him. If he needs to yell, then he can yell. I’m here for him now whether he realizes it or not.

Last night, Orledin had made extra bread. I get along well with him now too. I think he was scared of me at first because he knew me before, and I knew him before as he was seeing my son. I didn’t like him so much back then as he showed up right after Aeramin and a really nice girl broke off an engagement. It was pretty easy to figure out what had happened.

Anyway, there was extra bread and he gave it to me to give to the people raising Lyorri. I took it when I visited. She’s growing so fast. It makes me want to visit more often so I don’t miss anything! She’s smiling now, and rolling over. It won’t be long before she’s able to sit up on her own. The people raising her are good people, and I can tell they love her. Kestrae is very protective of her, and watches me constantly while I’m there. Ordinicus is a little more relaxed. I gave them a couple of the loaves of bread.

I decided to take the last loaf to Aeramin. I usually avoid visiting him. I don’t want to force it. At this point, I think it’s better if he comes to me. However, Orledin makes some really good bread, so I thought he might like it, as long as I didn’t mention where it was from. Perhaps it was fortunate that he wasn’t there when I arrived. Imralion was though. He let me in. I gave him the bread and we talked a bit. I haven’t really spoken much to Linarelle about what’s going on with them, but I have heard through Sunashe. I guess they’ve sent someone to research the records and find out who their parents are. Their father was a noble who had an affair, and they’re the result of that affair. Their mother was paid to keep quiet, and they were placed with the Matron. Their father died, but they don’t know about their mother as she stopped appearing in the records after that, most likely she changed her name. Aeramin needs to get better at talking with Im, as I got the feeling that they hadn’t discussed it very much. Of course, he wasn’t there, so I listened and talked to him.

Kestrae showed up shortly after me, which was odd because we thought he might be visiting Lyorri. He did come home eventually, but I don’t know where he was. He asked me to leave almost as soon as he was in the door. I imagine he told Imralion and Kestrae, but he wanted me to leave, so I left.

I hope Imralion and Linarelle have news about their mother soon. It must be awful not knowing.

We’ve been in the Ghostlands all winter. It’s probably not the best place to spend a winter, especially this winter. It’s been really cold, and there was even some snow for a bit. We did spend the colder nights in rooms at the school, so we didn’t freeze at least. We were able to keep each other warm enough the rest of the time.

It’s warmed up a little now and Berwick has been talking about what we’re doing next. I mean, I wanted to stay here for a bit to be kind of close to family, but now he’s thinking about buying a house out here. I suppose it would be nice to have a place to come back to, and a place to store things. That’s not to mention our own place to sleep when it’s cold. At the same time, I really enjoy the trips, and I can’t help but think we’ll go fewer places if we buy a house. I guess we’ll see.

If we do get a permanent home, the Ghostlands is a good place. Yara has moved out here and joined the rangers. She seems to be getting on well with them. I guess I’m still a little angry that Nessna remarried so quickly, and she married the ranger captain out here. Didn’t Vessen mean anything to her? I’m glad Yara is getting along with her well. I’ve followed their patrol at a distance a few times. I’m hesitant about it, but if we move here, I would go ask if I could help out part-time. Maybe if I got to know the captain, and Nessna, better, then maybe I’d feel less bitter about it. Plus I’m sure they won’t turn down another ranger’s help.

I should make a trip to Silvermoon soon. We could probably use some supplies, and I need to stop by to see my father soon.