how could this happen

im so confused
i got a call yesterday from my mom
she said ryan had shot himself in the head
ryan is my brother
i dont know how this happened
im so lost
all these years he protected me and now there is no one
he was the one who stopped me from taking my own life and now he leaves me
please god take this pain away
i dont know what do do

how could this happen

Oh Kels, You must be in so much pain. You only just came to this site a few days ago, so it is meant to be at this time, there will be people here to help you. My mother mentioned to me yesterday the feeling of someone close to you doing this (her husband) she said nobody would understand unless they'd been there. I don't know what you should do either but you'll get some support here. Let yourself grieve. Love 2 U.

how could this happen

Oh hun,

I am so so sorry that this has happened I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now, I mean it has been hard for me to see the suicides I have but to have this happen to your brother. I am so sorry it is just so unfair that you are left like this and are faced with this terrible tradgety.

how could this happen

Ahh, Kels. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It always hurts to lose someone you love, but to lose them this way hurts even more. Just remember, you have friends here...and support. Your brother didn't do this to you, love. He did it because he was ill. Allow yourself to grieve, then try to remember the good times you had with him. It will take some time, but you can get through this. We're here to help.

how could this happen

I had a friend do this about 3 months ago and I felt that it was my fault as I could have done more and then I thought hang on why did she do this to me she told me I wasn't allowed to do this, I remembered this after my other post had been trying to get rid of that thought. I dunno if that helps but you are not alone and as I already said you are in my thoughts.