It can definitely be mind boggling to say the least. I too have had many of the same " hair splitting" questions, and rightfully so I think. These are such fine lines we are traversing , and it appears for people like us who like to understand on deep levels and argue not for the sake of arguing, but for the the hope of squeezing new information out of the other, and for the opportunity to solidify an idea or to reexamine old beliefs. I think i'm going to have to revert back to the K.I.S.S. ( keep it simple stupid) formula that I have depended on when things seem to get too discombobulated and I want to see more clearly . I would imagine that everyone is born with a sense of what is right and what is wrong . I can imagine someone being born with a sense of right and wrong that is less than my own , at the same time I can imagine that some one could be born with an innate sense that is much more than my own . These people probably feel they are moved by the hand of God , in a destiny type fashion (and i'm not to say that this isn't God working). The same idea with the man who has a lesser sense, and he is moved by the simplest of things (a Forrest Gump type individual if you will, minus the happy ending and most likely with a long string of incarcerations). However the man who seeks the cave sees a larger destiny to fill or a sense of what is right for him , the influence of society does not move him, women do not distract him , the thought of power seems pointless , and the only thing worthwhile is seeking God. In a sense he has been called by God by the sense of what he thinks/feels/knows (is) what is right. Much like G.I. Gurdijieff in the movie " Meetings With Remarkable Men" (very good movie if you havent seen it , and its free on youtube) he seeks something even though he isn't quite sure what it is . I think here we could safely say that what G.I. sought and what the man who seeks the cave seeks are one in the same. They both knew when they found it , other wise they would have given up after a few years or a few months , and we would have never heard of either one. With that said , I think we all seek what is right for us , and we know this when we find it , but only if we have been honest with ourselves throughout our lives. While we all would like to find what is right for us , it may be that like our man with the least amount of sense (Forrest)we get what we deserve , which is a chance to develop that honesty within ourselves in a place where we can not escape that part of the self. So I think it may be perfectly "right" for someone to seek balance in all they do , and that feel right for that individual , I also feel it might not be enough to just seek balance in another person who might need a cave or like Gurdjieff a serious dance routine with some nice mantras (teasing of course Gurdjieff is awesome) . Being that everything is relative , I can not imagine this not being relative as well . What is right for one is not right for all. With that said , I am still trying to find that perfect blend for myself , and i have to say this site has seemed to put me on the fast track to finding it. Its very cathartic to get some old questions off my chest and have people like yourself to debate ideas with . Thanks.

The more I give to consciousness/awareness , the more consciousness gives to me . .... ....

I saw the movie " Meetings With Remarkable Men" and I like it very much. By the way I admire his work,his movements and music he composed with his friend.

In the movie, and his teaching is also about it, Gurdijief points that one first has to find out inner personal truth about that who one is and after that to keep it (self remembering) , deepening this awareness of that who and what one IS, which will make mind weaker and the essence of self stronger. I have already mentioned somewhere else about Gnostic Intensive, which is one of techniques (at least the one I know and therefore can personally recommend it) that helps having direct experience of truth about that who and what one IS. You say that you are still trying to find that perfect blend for yourself. The is path is what matters, and the movie is also about that. So, keep on trying.

Is Gnostic Intensive similar to Self Remembering ? I haven't quite figured out what Self Remembering is exactly. In the descriptions I have read , it seems like I need to view my self in the third person from above and feel a portion of my body at the same time , only allowing myself to be aware of the part of my body I am focusing on and seeing myself in the minds eye .

The more I give to consciousness/awareness , the more consciousness gives to me . .... ....

I assume(based on Gnostic Intensive) that it is not a third person as you cannot see anything as a third person. It is you, or the part of you that is permanent observer of your thoughts, emotions, your body...When you have a direct experience of that essence, which is you free from thoughts and emotions, in that short moment of emptiness you experience that what you really are and not that what you have learned you are.This is a short moment of enlightenment which is not to be described but experienced. After that, you get a stable state of awareness about that who you are which makes easier your further path of spiritual growth.I have experienced Gnostic Intensive and I work with people teaching them to have the same experience, but I haven´t passed Self Remembering process, at least not the way Gurdjieff school has been teaching it. So, I cannot talk about that.

Yea I am pretty sure I have read books where Buddhists talk about this state. Though I am quite positive I havent made it here yet. With that said I seem to have no problem with being the observer unattached to any personal ideas and separate from my thoughts, I can usually maintain awareness of this division throughout the day when I am alone. Being around people the observer seems to flicker in and out of awareness though. I can only assume that the "observer" becomes stronger than the personality eventually and I will assume that mind set as a kind of replacement. Does that sound right? You go to a Gurdijieff ( 4th way ) school ?

The more I give to consciousness/awareness , the more consciousness gives to me . .... ....

The moment you become aware that you have your permanent side and the changeable one(body, thoughts, emotions), you start another path. This is at least my experience.As about 4th Way, no, I haven´t. I have just studied his work through his books and books from Ouspensky.