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Friday, May 11, 2012

She's Crafty...like Ice is Cold

I'm pretty crafy. Call it my inner engineer, but I just like to know how things are made. So, pinterest is a dangerous site where I can waste more time than facebook and google combined. When I read this article...I totally got-it. I wanted to share it because it rings so true...I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...

and unless their garden parties are thematically accessorized with butterfly lanterns,

Photo source: Pinterest, http://tinyurl.com/6lsuurc

and they’re wearing the latest fashions (in a size two, of course), there’s no point in even showing up for the day.

Last Saturday, this happened to me.

I came home from a lovely day out with my
extended family and had serious intentions to spend the evening dyeing
Easter eggs and making bunny buns.

By the time I got everyone settled and fed,
however, I was so tired that I just laid on the couch and dozed while
my children played and got themselves to bed.

Around 8:30, when I finally had the energy
to sit up, I decided to try out Pinterest for a few minutes until my
husband got home. There it was–1,000 reasons why I’m failing at all
things domestic.

I don’t make grilled cheese sandwiches look like ice cream.

Photo source: Pinterest, http://kitchenfunwithmy3sons.blogspot.com

I don’t even have seasonal throw pillows on my couches or live plants anywhere in the house.

Is it really so hard? Can’t I pull myself
together and wrap some candles in green foliage and bring happiness to
our decor with bright fabrics and hand-crafted photo frames?

As I was trying to calm my frenzied state
of mind, my husband came home and held me tight. We talked about our
day, and he told me how much he loves me and that he wants our boys to
marry someone like me. I fell asleep snuggled under his arm.

The following morning, our children
enthusiastically bounded into our bedroom and tucked themselves into our
covers. My four-year-old gave me an arm massage, and we all sat there
together–joking, laughing, planning the day ahead, and enjoying that
special feeling of family. Reflecting on the discouragement I’d felt the
night before, I realized that my family doesn’t care about what I see
on Pinterest. They care about me.

My daughter Grace loves me to sing “Baby Mine” to her each night before bed. When I go to our Power of Moms Retreats,
she misses that special ritual. We have recordings of Michael Crawford
and Allison Krauss singing their versions, but Grace doesn’t want those.
She wants me. So I recorded myself singing “Baby Mine” and emailed the
audio file to her and to my husband so Grace can hear “her song” before
she sleeps. As far as she’s concerned, my untrained voice belongs at the
top of the charts.

My daughter Grace is my “snuggliest” child. Back tickles and “Baby Mine” each night are how I show that I love her.

A few months ago, I was practicing sideways
dutch braids on my two daughters. They had found these great “how-to”
videos online, and we set up our comb, brush, and hair bands in front of
the computer so I could become an expert.

Photo source: www.cutegirlshairstyles.com

Half-way through the braid, my fingers got
all tangled up, the hair was too loose, and one of my daughters had been
sitting with her head to the side for several minutes.

Feeling extremely frustrated, I said, “That little girl in the video is so lucky to have a mom who knows how to do hair.”

My daughter stopped me in my tracks when she responded, “But I have a mom who is trying.”

These are my two girls with the braids that
took me FOREVER to do. (But I’m getting faster now, and they appreciate
the fact that I’m trying.)

My mom is in her 70s, and her memory is
starting to go. Her sweetness and love are as strong as ever, but when
we talk on the phone, she can’t remember the last time we spoke or the
last time we saw each other.

At the end of one phone call a few weeks ago, I whispered, “I miss you, Mom.”

She said, “Oh, I miss you, too! But we’ll
get together soon. You can come down to the park, and we’ll get an ice
cream cone at McDonald’s.”

I replied, “Yes, that will be fun.” But
then the tears started, and I had to use every ounce of control to keep
my voice even so she wouldn’t know I was crying.

What I really meant was, “I miss
being able to talk to you, Mom. I miss laying on the grass while my
children make a hopscotch and savoring our long phone conversations. I
miss you remembering all those secrets I used to tell you. I miss you
asking me if I’m okay. I miss seeing you read books and hearing you sing
while you do the dishes and having you drive out to my house without
getting lost. I miss you remembering how much I need you.”

My mother didn’t specialize in home decor
or gourmet cooking, and she didn’t lift weights or run marathons. But
she makes me feel like I am the most important, wonderful person ever
born. If I could pick any mother in the whole world, it would be my mom.

There’s something deeper going on in family
life than can ever be expressed on a social network. Whatever it is we
feel we are lacking, can we collectively decide–as deliberate
mothers–that we are not going to sit around feeling discouraged about
all the things we’re not?

Can we remind each other that it is our
uniqueness and love that our children long for? It is our voices. Our
smiles. Our jiggly tummies. Of course we want to learn, improve,
exercise, cook better, make our homes lovelier, and provide beautiful
experiences for our children, but at the end of the day, our children
don’t want a discouraged, stressed-out mom who is wishing she were
someone else.

If you ever find yourself looking in the mirror at a woman who feels badly that she hasn’t yet made flower-shaped soap,

Photo source: Pinterest, http://tinyurl.com/82k5vow

please offer her this helpful reminder: “Your children want you!”

QUESTION: How do you keep
the right perspective on your importance to your family–in the midst of
so many ideas and temptations to compare yourself with others?

CHALLENGE: Recognize any
tendencies you might have to get wrapped up in discouragement, and set
up a regular way to remind yourself that your children want you.