Self-improvementhttps://www.insider.com/category/self-improvement
en-usSat, 25 May 2019 09:42:11 -0400Sat, 25 May 2019 09:42:11 -0400The latest news on Self-improvement from INSIDERhttps://static3.insider.com/assets/images/bilogo-250x36-wide-rev.pngBusiness Insiderhttps://www.insider.com
https://www.insider.com/best-self-help-books-relationships-time-management-career-2018-1213 unforgettable insights from a year reading about relationships, time management, and getting ahead at workhttps://www.insider.com/best-self-help-books-relationships-time-management-career-2018-12
Wed, 19 Dec 2018 09:03:00 -0500Shana Lebowitz
<p><img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5ae9e01b42e1cc05357a2bd6-889/shutterstock1009322281.jpg" border="0" alt="woman reading subway train book read" data-mce-source="DimaBerlin/Shutterstock" /></p><p></p>
<ul class="summary-list">
<li><strong>This year I read lots of <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/category/self-help">self-help</a> books.</strong></li>
<li><strong>I learned how to be more productive, how to be a better romantic partner, and how to advance at work.</strong></li>
<li><strong>Below, I've listed the top takeaways from the books I read. For example: Approach dating like dieting, and remember that your coworkers aren't your family.</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>My friends often make fun of me for forgetting everything I read. I like to think that's because I read a lot, and not because my mind is a sieve.</p>
<p>This year I read tons of books in the category commonly known as "self-help" (here at Business Insider, we prefer the term "self-improvement"). And while it's true I don't remember everything I learned, there are tips and insights that will stick with me for a long time.</p>
<p>Below, I've described the takeaways that really resonated with me and the delightful books they came from.</p><h3>Minimize the amount of choice in your diet to lose weight</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b97-400-300/minimize-the-amount-of-choice-in-your-diet-to-lose-weight.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Economists don't often share weight-loss advice, but Rob Barnett and Christopher Payne do.</p>
<p>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074ZGR8FR/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">The Economists' Diet</a>" is based on the authors' experiences losing significant amounts of weight (Payne lost 45 pounds in 18 months, while Barnett lost 75 pounds in the same amount of time) by applying fundamental economic principles.</p>
<p>One of the most compelling principles is the use of <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-lose-weight-economists-meta-rules-2018-2">meta rules,</a> which eliminate the amount of choice you have in your daily diet. Examples of meta rules include: "Unless it's a special occasion, never have seconds" and "During the week, always have salad for lunch."</p>
<p>The idea is that by eliminating choice entirely you effectively eliminate the opportunity to do something counterproductive, like eating more than you'd planned. Meta rules also make life less exhausting because you're not constantly having to choose whether to, say, have dessert or grab a vanilla latte.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Your boss isn't responsible for (all) your work misery</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b98-400-300/your-boss-isnt-responsible-for-all-your-work-misery.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Stop blaming your boss. That's a key takeaway from Morten T. Hansen's "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074ZKB2QT/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">Great at Work</a>."</p>
<p>Hansen is a management professor at University of California at Berkeley. In the book, he describes the results of a five-year study he conducted on <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-improve-performance-at-work-2018-2">employee performance</a>. One result is that employees who zero in on a few top priorities and focus all their efforts on those tasks perform best.</p>
<p>Needless to say, most people in the study didn't do that. Why? Roughly one-quarter of all employees "blamed their inability to focus on their boss's lack of direction or a broader organizational complexity in their company."</p>
<p>To some extent, they're probably right. But Hansen recommends saying "no" to at least some of the responsibilities your boss assigns you. For example, a junior management consultant in the study told a partner at his firm that he simply couldn't handle another project if the partner wanted excellent work. The partner agreed, and backed off.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Set one priority every day</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b99-400-300/set-one-priority-every-day.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>The authors of "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078QSCM3V/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1">Make Time</a>" &mdash; former Google employees, one of whom created the company's design sprint process &mdash; are proponents of prioritizing too.</p>
<p>Their strategy starts with establishing a "highlight" every day, as in the most important thing you want to tackle in the next 24 hours. It could be a product update; it could be cooking dinner for your family. You're not only being realistic about how much you can get done, but also minimizing distractions from the really important stuff.</p>
<p>Knapp and Zeratsky share some tips: "Consider what's most meaningful to you, not what is most urgent" and "Think about what needs the most effort or work." To be sure, this is easier said than done. But the main idea is not to start out with 10 highlights and wind up accomplishing nothing of substance.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>The key to building better habits is eliminating temptation</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9a-400-300/the-key-to-building-better-habits-is-eliminating-temptation.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>It's not you; it's your environment. In "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D23CFGR/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">Atomic Habits</a>," James Clear debunks the idea that the <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/discipline-avoiding-temptation-science-2018-11">most disciplined people</a> have the strongest willpower.</p>
<p>Instead, he writes: "'Disciplined' people are better at structuring their lives in a way that <em>does not require</em> heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations."</p>
<p>For example, if you want to stop mindlessly snacking during the workday, you might take a different route to the office bathroom. That is to say, you can stop feeling bad about yourself and envious of people who eat right and exercise all the time and never waste time on social media. They're just good at tricking themselves.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Approach dating like dieting to have a better shot at finding love</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9b-400-300/approach-dating-like-dieting-to-have-a-better-shot-at-finding-love.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072HLSC7G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">Love Rules</a>" is premised on the idea that the best way to find love is to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-and-dieting-may-be-similar-2018-4">approach dating like dieting</a>, which is to say intentionally, methodically, and with the willingness to tweak if something isn't working.</p>
<p>Just as many health experts recommend keeping a food diary, Coles advises keeping a love journal, where you record your current habits and reflect on what it is you really want.</p>
<p>Coles is the former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire magazines, as well as the former chief content officer of Hearst Magazines.</p>
<p>In "Love Rules," she recommends setting a goal (whether that's finding long-term love or something else) and identifying the obstacles preventing you from getting there. Maybe those obstacles are crunchy and salty; maybe they're texting you to "hang out" at 2 a.m. You can't cut out the waste until you see it clearly.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Trick yourself into finishing a tedious task</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9c-400-300/trick-yourself-into-finishing-a-tedious-task.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Often the hardest part of working out is simply getting to the gym. That logic applies to tons of other good habits, and explains why we drag our feet about adopting them.</p>
<p>A strategy for overcoming this tendency appears in Chris Bailey's "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077LWZC6Q/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1">Hyperfocus</a>": Work on the task, whether it's cleaning out your closet or writing a paper, for at least one minute "with purposeful attention and limited distractions."</p>
<p>Bailey writes that it can take just 40 seconds before we get distracted from the task at hand. But if you pass that threshold, chances are, you'll be inclined to continue, since you've gotten over the starting hump.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>What many men say they want in a partner isn't what they actually want</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9d-400-300/what-many-men-say-they-want-in-a-partner-isnt-what-they-actually-want.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>What people say they want in a partner and what they actually want in a partner don't always line up. In "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Gap-Radical-Plan-Life/dp/1478920041?tag=bisafetynet2-20">The Love Gap</a>," Jenna Birch outlines one of the more insidious (and frustrating) examples of this phenomenon: Many men say they want women who are smart, driven, ambitious, and accomplished &mdash; but when they actually date these women, <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-successful-women-makes-many-men-uneasy-2018-3">they hesitate to start a relationship with them</a>.</p>
<p>Through research and interviews, Birch deduces that some men may be made uneasy by such a woman's success, especially if they haven't yet achieved that level of success in their own careers.</p>
<p>One 24-year-old man told Birch explicitly: "Who I want to end up with is different from who I want to be with right now." The man spelled it out: "The girl I want today likes to hang out, drink, is into music, binges on 'Game of Thrones.' The girl I want to end up with has real interests and real hobbies &mdash; like running or something constructive. She has a real career. And the other girl, the one I want today, is still working towards a career."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Yes, people are looking at you — but they're not paying attention to what you think</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9e-400-300/yes-people-are-looking-at-you--but-theyre-not-paying-attention-to-what-you-think.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071VXZB4D/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">Cringeworthy</a>" is an exploration of awkwardness &mdash; why it happens and how it can (sometimes) work to our benefit. In one chapter, journalist Melissa Dahl introduces us to what psychologists call the "<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/psychology-how-much-people-watch-each-other-2018-7">invisibility cloak illusion</a>."</p>
<p>The gist is we incorrectly assume other people aren't paying nearly as much attention to us as we are to them. That is to say, while you're bobbing along to music during your morning commute, casually taking note of the fidgety fellow on your right, there's a good chance said fidgety fellow is casually taking note of you and your lack of rhythm.</p>
<p>The point isn't to feel self-conscious whenever you're in public. Instead, as one psychologist wrote in a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/29/opinion/sunday/youre-too-focused-on-what-youre-focused-on.html">New York Times op-ed</a>, it's to understand how miscommunication can happen. For example, she writes, "Employees pull their hair out in frustration while bosses obliviously believe their instructions are simple and straightforward."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Most of us secretly like to feel busy</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5b0818ad7708e939a45e10bd-400-300/most-of-us-secretly-like-to-feel-busy.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>I loved every second of "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076NSZ27X/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">Off the Clock</a>." But my favorite of Vanderkam's insights is that, as much as we complain about <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/laura-vanderkam-off-the-clock-feel-happier-less-busy-2018-6">never having enough time</a>, most of us enjoy having a packed schedule.</p>
<p>Vanderkam quotes Jeff Heath, the general manager of Matrix Applied Technologies, saying that people like having meetings because it makes them feel busy and therefore useful.</p>
<p>For her part, Vanderkam surmises that racing from one meeting to the next makes it seem like our energy and attention is in demand. In a single sentence, she breaks that spell: "We are all less important than we think we are. Earth will keep spinning on its axis regardless of how the majority of us spend our time."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Flirting with other people can improve your relationship</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5c1431e2bde70f718c3a1b9f-400-300/flirting-with-other-people-can-improve-your-relationship.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Right after getting married, Jo Piazza traveled the world in search of the best relationship advice she can find, chronicling her adventures in "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IZTCFDW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1&amp;tag=bisafetynet2-20">How to Be Married</a>."</p>
<p>Piazza's visit to France has stuck with me. On that trip, she learned that flirting &mdash; with other people, that is &mdash; can <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/marriage-advice-keep-flirting-2018-2">improve your marriage</a>. "It releases some of the tension," one Frenchwoman said of flirting outside your relationship, "and men think it is sexy to see that another man wants your wife."</p>
<p>After her book was published, Piazza was interviewed by <a href="https://go.skimresources.com/?id=35871X943606&amp;xs=1&amp;isjs=1&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.signature-reads.com%2F2017%2F04%2Fon-having-it-all-an-interview-with-jo-piazza-author-of-how-to-be-married%2F&amp;xguid=feea17e4c16aeb0b629873dc01bf8b60&amp;xuuid=c582ba5b2081e11c737f758d847d212a&amp;xsessid=&amp;xcreo=0&amp;xed=0&amp;sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fmarriage-advice-keep-flirting-2018-2&amp;xtz=300&amp;jv=13.12.1-stackpath&amp;bv=2.5.1">Signature Reads</a> and explained what she took away from the French approach to extramarital flirting: "We love jealousy in America, and I think it's nice for your spouse to recognize that other people still find you attractive and interesting. One of the hardest things about marriage is that you're together so often, you sometimes forget that your spouse is attractive and interesting, and it's nice to see that people recognize that."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Saving money is about spending money well</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c1431e3bde70f718c3a1ba0-400-300/saving-money-is-about-spending-money-well.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kakeibo-Japanese-Art-Saving-Money/dp/0525538038">Kakeibo</a>" is a yearlong <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/budget-system-kakeibo-journal-2018-4">budgeting journal</a> with a few pages of explanation around how and why to use it. There are no accompanying apps or fancy spreadsheets &mdash; all you need is a pen, the journal, and the willingness to introspect.</p>
<p>When you use the <em>kakeibo</em>, Chiba says, you'll learn that "saving money is about spending money well." Instead of emphasizing all the things you can't spend money on, shift the focus to all the things you really value that you can spend money on.</p>
<p>At the end of each month, <em>kakeibo</em> users are prompted to reflect on things like areas where they spent too much money, ways in which they saved money, and changes they're planning to make going forward.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Take time to appreciate what your partner brings to the table</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5c1431e3bde70f718c3a1ba1-400-300/take-time-to-appreciate-what-your-partner-brings-to-the-table.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Authors Pileggi Pawelski and Pawelski are a married couple, and they've both studied positive psychology. In "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Together-Science-Positive-Psychology-ebook/dp/B072DSYX86/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1544814146&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=happy+together">Happy Together</a>," they draw on their academic background as well as their own relationship experience to offer some practical lessons in love.</p>
<p>One exercise they recommend involves telling "strengths stories," or stories about a time when your partner successfully used one of their <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/via-survey-character-strengths-improve-relationship-2018-1">unique capabilities</a>. You don't have to get too elaborate: Maybe your partner uncovered a hidden-gem caf&eacute; in a new neighborhood you visited together, or maybe they whipped up a delicious batch of cookies to bring to your office holiday party.</p>
<p>The goal is not to forget what makes you, your partner, and your relationship special. The authors write: "It can be incredibly powerful to hear your partner tell you a story of you at your best. It can help you feel clearly seen, deeply understood, and profoundly loved."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Your work team isn't a family</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c1431e3bde70f718c3a1ba2-400-300/your-work-team-isnt-a-family.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Patty McCord was Netflix's chief talent officer from 1998 to 2012. She and Netflix CEO Reed Hastings created the company's culture deck, which has been viewed millions of times.</p>
<p>In "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077Y4WVPT/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1">Powerful</a>," McCord distills the lessons she learned at Netflix and as a consultant into insights any manager can use. What stood out to me as most harsh but most useful is the idea that your coworkers are <em>not</em> your family. If someone's not going to help move the team or the organization forward, the manager has to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/former-netflix-exec-shares-how-to-know-its-time-to-fire-someone-2018-1">let that person go</a>.</p>
<p>"You should be wary of expecting a company to take care of your career for you, because that's not their job," McCord told me when I asked about this practice." Their job is to take care of their customers and their clients."</p></p>
<br/><br/> https://www.insider.com/habits-to-break-before-you-turn-30-2018-350 damaging habits you should break before you turn 30https://www.insider.com/habits-to-break-before-you-turn-30-2018-3
Tue, 11 Dec 2018 07:31:00 -0500Lindsay Dodgson
<p><img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a993-2000/joel-bengs-498744-unsplash.jpg" border="0" alt="joel bengs 498744 unsplash" data-mce-source="Photo by Joel Bengs on Unsplash" /></p><p></p>
<ul class="summary-list">
<li>Thirty is an important milestone.</li>
<li>It's an age many people decide by which they should have their life together &mdash; or, at the very least, should stop some of the damaging habits they had in their 20s.</li>
<li>Here's a list of 50 habits you should break before your fourth decade.</li>
</ul>
<p>Everyone has goals they want to accomplish. But with busy schedules and demands from work, it can sometimes feel like we let them slip away.</p>
<p>The approach of 30 is the perfect time to be introspective and look at all the areas of your life that you might want to tweak. We asked the INSIDER London office, as well as some friends and family, to send over the most damaging habits they managed to break &mdash; or are on their way to breaking &mdash; before they hit the big 3-0.</p>
<p>Scroll on for a comprehensive sort-your-life-out checklist of 50 damaging habits you should break by the time your 30th birthday rolls around.</p>
<p><em>Rosie Fitzmaurice contributed to an earlier version of this article.</em></p><p><strong>SEE ALSO:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.insider.com/what-you-learn-when-you-move-in-with-your-partner-2018-9" >17 things we wish we'd known before moving in with our partners</a></strong></p>
<h3>Living for the weekends.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5aba73537708e9268639a98c-400-300/living-for-the-weekends.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>The best way to stop doing this is to plan constructive things into your weekday evenings, according to Harry, associate distribution editor at INSIDER.</p>
<p>Megan, office manager and human-resources coordinator at INSIDER, added: "Get a proper hobby. It's good to do something outside of work and socializing with friends &hellip; especially not involving a computer."</p>
<p>Whether it's signing up for your local book club or taking a dip in the lido, factoring in some me time after work can be extremely satisfying.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Supporting fast fashion.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5c0aa05ae17b930613705d66-400-300/supporting-fast-fashion.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Before turning 30 I made a decision to stop buying items that support fast fashion," Laura, an operations officer from London, told INSIDER. "That means no Zara! I have already given up on H&amp;M and Primark. They say that most items are worn just seven times, so my goal is to buy things you will wear many times even if it costs more."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Thinking social smoking is OK.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5aba73537708e9268639a98e-400-300/thinking-social-smoking-is-ok.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Paul, who works in recruitment in London, said social smoking was his biggest vice to quit before he turned 30.</p>
<p>Most people who consider themselves social smokers cut themselves some slack because they don't smoke every day or they "only smoke when they drink."</p>
<p>But <a href="https://smokefree.gov/challenges-when-quitting/cravings-triggers/social-smoking" target="_blank" rel="noopener">government guidelines</a> suggest that if you smoke at all, you're at higher risk of heart disease and cancer than those who don't, not to mention unwanted short-term effects like bad breath, aging skin, and the money you're wasting.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Clinging to friendships that have run their course.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aba73537708e9268639a98f-400-300/clinging-to-friendships-that-have-run-their-course.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>The further into your 20s you go, you may find the fewer friends you have. As you leave university and begin your career, some relationships just don't last the distance &mdash; and Laura says you should accept this.</p>
<p>"Having lived abroad for a number of years since uni, I learned a while ago not to loose sleep over friendships that fall by the wayside. Now I put a lot more effort and time into worthwhile friendships."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not having a bedtime.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5aba73537708e9268639a990-400-300/not-having-a-bedtime.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Ali, a lifestyle editor at INSIDER, said: "I have been guilty of going to bed really late and at really random times, so I'm trying to develop an actual bedtime I can stick to. I've found it makes a difference in my quality of sleep."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not taking care of your plants.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5c0aa0dae17b9306ad2a80c5-400-300/not-taking-care-of-your-plants.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Getting plants makes you feel like a responsible adult too, according to Ali. But if you're going to buy them, you should actually make sure you water them and take care of them properly, she said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Thinking that you can rely on your metabolism to keep weight off.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73537708e9268639a991-400-300/thinking-that-you-can-rely-on-your-metabolism-to-keep-weight-off.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Having interviewed many personal trainers for work, they pretty much all agree that you need to be exercising at least three times per week if you want to see results," Rosie, a former lifestyle writer at INSIDER, said.</p>
<p>"I've spent a while researching different classes to find the right one for me &mdash; most importantly, one that's convenient. I'm trying to get into a pattern of working out at least three times a week. Sometimes it means prioritizing it over social things or work events I don't want to miss, but I've started to look forward to the gym, which is a first for me."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not changing your bed sheets.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5c0aa14ae17b9300f226d7e4-400-300/not-changing-your-bed-sheets.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Getting into a bed with fresh sheets is one of life's greatest simple pleasures," Harry said. "Changing them regularly helps you sleep better, creates the illusion that you have your life together, and above all is just way less gross than leaving it for too long. You'll thank yourself for investing the effort."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Drinking cheap wine.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5abab8ca7708e92cbb74ea9c-400-300/drinking-cheap-wine.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>James, a former technology editor at INSIDER, said, "Drinking cheap wine is a damaging habit that I thankfully broke in recent years."</p>
<p>Many people try to cut down on their alcohol consumption as they get older, and thinking about what you're drinking could be part of the answer.</p>
<p>There's a theory that spending a bit more on a bottle might mean you savor it, enjoy it more, and possibly even drink less of it. Whether or not that's true, it's worth educating yourself on what you like.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Letting other people shop for you.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5c0aa1dce17b93012517c592-400-300/letting-other-people-shop-for-you.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"By now you should have developed your own sense of style and figured out what clothes best represent who you are," Tom, a lifestyle reporter at INSIDER, said. "By all means, seek advice from fashionable friends, but letting your mum or your girlfriend or anyone else shop for you will mask your personality in what you're wearing.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Taking special moments with friends for granted.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a993-400-300/taking-special-moments-with-friends-for-granted.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"It can be tempting to bow out of trips away with friends when you're being asked to pay for flights and accommodation deposits in January for a weekend away in August. As hen dos and stag dos begin rolling in, it can start to feel overwhelming," Rosie said.</p>
<p>"Granted, you can't do everything, so pick wisely &mdash; but it's also important to remember that there's a relatively short window in your life that you'll be inundated with these kinds of invites. As you settle down with a mortgage or a family it might be difficult to afford to do both.</p>
<p>"So make the most of that festival, staycation, or week in the sun."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Compromising on what you deserve in a relationship.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a994-400-300/compromising-on-what-you-deserve-in-a-relationship.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Lindsay, a psychology and relationships reporter at INSIDER, said, "Stop compromising on yourself in your dating life because you don't know what you deserve, i.e., don't chase after someone who clearly isn't interested enough in you."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Doing things because you think you should.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a995-400-300/doing-things-because-you-think-you-should.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>When it comes to attending parties and other social events, Ali said, it's not worth going just because you "feel like you should."</p>
<p>"Life's too short to spend time doing things you don't want to do &mdash; knowledge I've learned thanks to 'The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck,'" she said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Putting your physical health before your mental health.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a996-400-300/putting-your-physical-health-before-your-mental-health.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Don't put your (outwardly) physical health before your mental health," Megan said. "Diet and exercise should make you feel good about yourself, not guilty. Routines are great, but when the way you physically treat yourself affects the way you mentally treat yourself, then the balance is wrong."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Fad diets.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a997-400-300/fad-diets.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Hannah, a charity worker from London, told INSIDER: "It's better to just permanently work healthy eating into your daily routine. You might still put on a few pounds over Christmas, but you'll more easily work it off again. The main thing is making sure you're getting at least five portions of fruit and veg each day."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not collecting membership points and air miles.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73547708e9268639a998-400-300/not-collecting-membership-points-and-air-miles.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"I finally started collecting air miles about six months ago after realizing how, as a frequent traveler, I could have been reaping the benefits for years now," Ali said. "Pick an airline, sign up on their points system, get the credit card &mdash; go the whole way."</p>
<p>Whether it's collecting air miles with credit cards, joining airline-membership clubs, or signing up for supermarket-points cards, the rewards are often well worth the relatively small effort &mdash; and it could get you closer to your next holiday.</p>
<p>Brian Kelly, founder and CEO of <a href="https://thepointsguy.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Points Guy</a>, told INSIDER that the biggest mistake people make with air miles is "giving up before they even begin." Here are <a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-start-collecting-air-miles-2017-9" target="_blank" rel="noopener">four things to know</a> beforeyou start collecting air miles &mdash; and exactly how to start.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not being able to cook for yourself.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5c0aa261e17b93072a7bed63-400-300/not-being-able-to-cook-for-yourself.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Microwave meals and instant noodles are all very well when you're a student, but as you get a bit older, it starts to look a bit sad. According to Kieran, INSIDER's news editor, cooking proper meals is a habit you have to get into.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Spending time with people who make you feel insignificant.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a999-400-300/spending-time-with-people-who-make-you-feel-insignificant.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Megan, of INSIDER, said: "Cut the people who make you feel insignificant. Why pour energy into the people who don't like you when you could be spending time with the friends who love you?</p>
<p>"Not everyone is going to like you, so don't spend time forcing it. Learn to live and love the people who like you just as you are."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Buying non-eco-friendly cleaning products.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a99a-400-300/buying-non-eco-friendly-cleaning-products.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>There are plenty of small changes we can make to our everyday routines to help protect the environment. Laura said deciding not to buy non-eco-friendly cleaning products was one of hers.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not getting an STI test.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa2b2e17b9307457bc432-400-300/not-getting-an-sti-test.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>People are notoriously lazy with getting their health checked. But Rosie P., a social-media editor at INSIDER, said you shouldn't let sexually-transmitted-infection tests slip.</p>
<p>"It's connected to our general health, and perhaps we don't take it as seriously," she said. "It keeps you healthy, and allows you to enjoy a carefree <em>and</em> healthy sex life."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Canceling plans at the last minute.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a99b-400-300/canceling-plans-at-the-last-minute.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>As you can't say yes to everything, it's important to be realistic about what's possible early on so that you don't get into the habit of letting people down at the last minute.</p>
<p>"One of my big resolutions is to be more reliable as a friend overall," Rosie said. "As you get older and closer to 30, people often start getting booked up months in advance, and there is virtually zero tolerance for flakes &mdash; this also applies to texting back promptly to nail down plans."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Trying to please everyone all the time.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa315e17b93017e4b64d3-400-300/trying-to-please-everyone-all-the-time.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>On that note, remember <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/why-we-experience-fear-of-missing-out-2018-4">you can't ever go to everything</a>.</p>
<p>"Overpromising yourself to people just to please them is only going to run you down, meaning while you make others happy, you won't be," Rosie P. said. "Your friends will understand if you need a night off or can't squeeze two things into one night. Don't burn out!"</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Running out of money at the end of the month.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a99c-400-300/running-out-of-money-at-the-end-of-the-month.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"It's time to look at where your money goes and look at ways of saving money without going without," Hannah said.</p>
<p>There are plenty of budgeting apps out there that can help you work out where you're spending most.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not having a pension.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa352e17b9306df0c7ed5-400-300/not-having-a-pension.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Although it's hard to save consciously, you should probably set up a pension or 401(k) before you turn 30, Oscar, a former finance reporter at INSIDER, said.</p>
<p>"Compound interest &mdash; which Einstein may or may not have called '<a href="https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/compound-interest/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the most powerful force in the universe</a>' &mdash; means that every extra year of saving for your retirement brings outsized benefits," he said. "If you haven't opened a pension by the time you're 30, you should definitely start."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not bothering to iron.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa3a3e17b930764259e44-400-300/not-bothering-to-iron.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Shirts that don't need to be ironed might seem like your best bet, but if you want to be a real grown-up, you have to learn to use an iron, said Alex M., a news reporter at INSIDER.</p>
<p>"Learn how to iron," she said. "Wearing crumpled clothes makes you look like you haven't grown up and are still waiting for your parents do your laundry."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Putting off difficult conversations.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a99d-400-300/putting-off-difficult-conversations.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Leon, a senior video producer at INSIDER, said, "I think young people do this a lot, but the older you get the more often you have to have them.</p>
<p>"It's better to just bite the bullet; the feeling of getting the weight off your shoulders afterwards is worth it."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Kidding yourself about things that are important.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5a1e9a53ec1ade229842ec44-400-300/kidding-yourself-about-things-that-are-important.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Alex L., a news editor at INSIDER, said: "Quit trying to keep up appearances and actually go for results. Quit kidding yourself. Potatoes are vegetables, but not really. Going to the gym for 30 minutes and walking on the treadmill and checking your phone is working out, but not really. You're doing things for yourself and not to tell others about it."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Setting yourself impossible goals.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5ada17a0bd96711d008b470d-400-300/setting-yourself-impossible-goals.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Stop putting real effort into goals that aren't specific, measurable, and have a deadline," Alex L. said. "[Your] goal shouldn't be 'save the environment' but 'increase recycling in my town by 60% by 2020."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not spending enough time with your parents.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa4e6e17b9301ce7605b5-400-300/not-spending-enough-time-with-your-parents.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"It can be easy to become 'too busy' to make plans with family a priority," Ali said. "However, as you get older, you realize how this is actually the most important thing. This can be as simple as picking up the phone a couple of times a week, going for lunch, or spending a weekend together as often as you can. Friends come and go, but your family will &mdash; and should &mdash; always be No. 1."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Never calling your older relatives.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5c0aa5b2e17b9301ec4d5cc2-400-300/never-calling-your-older-relatives.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>If you have a lot of relatives, it can be easy to assume they will always be around. But this simply isn't true, and you'll kick yourself when they're gone because you didn't call them more.</p>
<p>"Pick up the phone and call your grandma," Lindsay said. "It won't take a long time out of your day, and it will mean so much to her. You don't want to wish you talked to her more when she's gone."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not sending back unwanted online purchases.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5aba73577708e9268639a9a5-400-300/not-sending-back-unwanted-online-purchases.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Stop being too lazy to send back clothes you order online that don't fit," Lindsay said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Comparing your life to other people's.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c0aa5fee17b93081a765294-400-300/comparing-your-life-to-other-peoples.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>It's hard, but try to stop "looking sideways," Leon said.</p>
<p>"Scrolling through Instagram and Facebook and comparing your life to the lives of your friends is not healthy," he said. "No one's Instagram life is real; people only post what they want other people to see. You need to be very aware of this while using these apps, otherwise you'll constantly be thinking your life sucks and everyone else is having a great time, and that simply isn't true."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not talking about your mental health.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c0aa726e17b930796184562-400-300/not-talking-about-your-mental-health.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Talk about your mental health," Rosie P. said. "Know when it's OK to admit you're not OK. We might often feel social pressure requires us to put a brave face on, but it's just as important to 'fess up when it's not so we can address the issues."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Barely drinking any water.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5aba73557708e9268639a99e-400-300/barely-drinking-any-water.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Up until about six months ago, I might drink one glass of water a day, plus lots of tea at work. Even when I knew I was dehydrated, I couldn't be bothered to get up and grab a glass," Shona, a tech reporter at INSIDER, said.</p>
<p>"It turns out this is horrible for your skin, kidneys, and overall general health, so I've finally got a water bottle to sit on my desk."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Being a couch potato.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5c0aa81be17b9308014dace2-400-300/being-a-couch-potato.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Sometimes it's necessary to have some me time. But you'll feel a lot more accomplished if you actually get out and about some weekends. Claudia, a video producer at INSIDER, said leaving the house is something you should definitely learn to do.</p>
<p>"Be active, have a hobby, take a day trip on Sundays or weekends in general rather than sitting on the couch all day," she said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Holding grudges.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5c0aa852e17b93083b17f2b2-400-300/holding-grudges.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>As we get older, drama can feel more and more irritating. So don't hold grudges, Rosie P. said</p>
<p>"That unhealthy behavior is really damaging to past, present, and future relationships &mdash; you don't want to end up bitter," she said. "It's better to swallow pride and be the bigger person in the long run."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Staying out all night on a regular basis.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a99f-400-300/staying-out-all-night-on-a-regular-basis.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Many people agree that hangovers get worse with age. Alex L., of INSIDER, said: "Stop going out and staying out all night on a regular basis. Once a month or on special occasions is different."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Wasting entire days hungover.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a9a0-400-300/wasting-entire-days-hungover.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"There's nothing worse than knowing you've spent your entire weekend recovering from Friday-night work drinks," Jonathan, a sound engineer from London, said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Avoiding cleaning until things get moldy or smell bad.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5c0aa8d3e17b93086c6525b3-400-300/avoiding-cleaning-until-things-get-moldy-or-smell-bad.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Locke Hughes said in <a href="https://greatist.com/live/bad-habits-to-break-before-you-turn-30" target="_blank" rel="noopener">an article for Greatist</a> that you shouldn't wait until your shower is covered in mold to clean it.</p>
<p>Lindsay agreed: "You don't even have to clean up that often to make a place habitable. Just scrub your shower and skins occasionally and throw out empty pizza boxes. It'll make it significantly less embarrassing when you invite someone over.</p>
<p>"And for God's sake, learn how to empty a vacuum cleaner."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Spending more time watching TV than you do reading.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5b8ff82a3cccd11d008b4598-400-300/spending-more-time-watching-tv-than-you-do-reading.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Stop spending all of your time in front of the TV screen and never actually reading a book," Ali said. "You never feel good about yourself after a Netflix binge, but reading a book is both relaxing and educational. Whether it's a novel or nonfiction, it doesn't matter &mdash; it'll give you a sense of accomplishment that crushing episodes of a new series never will."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Midnight McDonald's stops.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5a57ceaa887f691c008b459b-400-300/midnight-mcdonalds-stops.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Stopping the post-pub McDonald's sessions is another habit I wanted to break by 30," Jonathan said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not looking after your teeth.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a9a1-400-300/not-looking-after-your-teeth.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>That includes brushing twice a day (even after nights out), regular visits to the dentist, and yes, flossing.</p>
<p>"You only have one set of teeth &mdash; so look after them!" Dina, managing editor at INSIDER, said.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Obsessing over online dating.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5b8e516c3cccd156008b456c-400-300/obsessing-over-online-dating.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You might be at the age where everyone else seems to be settling down while you're still single, but you shouldn't obsessively worry about it. Definitely don't go on dates every night of the week out of desperation.</p>
<p>"If someone isn't right for you, they simply aren't right for you," Lindsay said. "Don't fret if someone you're dating hasn't replied to you in a few days or people on dating apps aren't arranging anything with you. If they were the one, it would be easy and they would be treating you properly. So stop trying to force it and let it happen organically."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not wearing sunscreen.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a9a2-400-300/not-wearing-sunscreen.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Overdoing the sun bathing &mdash; as you get older, it's even more important to look after and protect your skin," Hannah said.</p>
<p>And this isn't only while you're on the beach &mdash; most skin specialists recommend you introduce a moderate SPF factor into your daily skincare regime through winter as well as summer.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Constantly worrying about what people think.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a9a3-400-300/constantly-worrying-about-what-people-think.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Worrying about what people think was the single most popular habit to break of all of the colleagues and friends we spoke to, so it's probably worth taking note of.</p>
<p>Emily, a private chef from London, said: "I spent far too much of my 20s worrying about what other people think. Generally, worrying in my 20s was a real waste of energy."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Not having a long-term plan.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aba73567708e9268639a9a4-400-300/not-having-a-long-term-plan.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Not having a long-term plan is something that I have been guilty of," Leon said. "By the time you're 30, you should know what you want from life and have a rough idea of when you'll be moving/getting married/having children/changing jobs, etc."</p>
<p>Charlotte, an account manager in music, told INSIDER that in the lead-up to her 30s she has started each year by sitting down and thinking through the main aspects of her life, from relationships to careers, to figure out what she wants to change or develop in each area.</p>
<p>"I'm not strict in tracking my progress, but taking the time to evaluate these areas really helped me focus my energy on what I want to achieve and making sure I'm on the right path to my version of a happy and successful life."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Being a know-it-all.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5c0aa99de17b9307d36f05a3-400-300/being-a-know-it-all.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>"Almost everyone in their 20s feels like they've seen it all and they know everything," Lindsay said. "But the older you get, the more you realize that is absolutely not true. Open yourself up to new advice and experiences, and don't assume people are trying to patronize you all the time.</p>
<p>"Sometimes they will be, but there's always more to learn."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Saying sorry too much.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5c0aa9cae17b9307d36f05a5-400-300/saying-sorry-too-much.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>We all apologize too much for ourselves and our presence, even if we've done nothing wrong. <a href="https://www.insider.com/sorry-can-be-a-toxic-word-2018-6" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sorry can be a toxic word</a> if we overuse it, so try and train yourself out of it, Lindsay said.</p>
<p>"Save your sorrys for when it really counts," she said. "That way, you know you're being sincere, and it will mean a whole lot more."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Trying to store every important date and appointment in your head.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5aba73577708e9268639a9a6-400-300/trying-to-store-every-important-date-and-appointment-in-your-head.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Alan, a sports reporter at INSIDER, said, "Get a calendar and put all the important dates in it at the start of the year so you remember things."</p>
<p>Whether your system is paper or electronic, finding one that works for you will make you feel more organized, which can help to reduce stress.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Buying a coffee each morning.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5aba73577708e9268639a9a7-400-300/buying-a-coffee-each-morning.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>If you're short on time and have busy mornings, buying a coffee each day can feel like part of your morning ritual.</p>
<p>But researchers have calculated that this could be <a href="http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/12/this-is-how-much-your-coffee-addiction-actually-costs-you-a-year-5435713/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">costing you more than &pound;500 ($700) a year</a> &mdash; that's almost a round flight to Bali.</p>
<p>"I used to buy a coffee a day until I realized how much it was financially crippling me," Rosie said. "Now I use a cafetiere and invest in a packet of really good, strong coffee, which I keep at work. I'll still buy the odd coffee as a Monday- or Friday-morning treat, but I'm definitely saving money overall."</p></p>
<br/><br/> https://www.insider.com/james-clear-productivity-how-to-accomplish-a-goal-2018-10A productivity expert with half a million followers says there's one tool every successful person uses to reach a goal — but it can also hold you backhttps://www.insider.com/james-clear-productivity-how-to-accomplish-a-goal-2018-10
Sun, 21 Oct 2018 10:00:00 -0400Hillary Hoffower
<p><span><img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5bc901f6bde70f60d239db06-1920/james clear headshot.jpg" border="0" alt="James Clear headshot" data-mce-source="Courtesy of James Clear" /></span></p>
<ul class="summary-list">
<li><span>Successful people <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-be-more-productive-setting-micro-habits-2018-8" target="_blank" rel="noopener">build habits</a> by measuring their progress &mdash; and it can be as much of a hindrance as a benefit, according to&nbsp;<a href="https://jamesclear.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">productivity expert James Clear</a>.</span></li>
<li>There are three benefits to measuring your progress toward a goal,&nbsp;says Clear: It makes the behavior more obvious, creates an additive effect, and adds immediate gratification.</li>
<li>But if you obsess about the measurement, it loses its benefits when it becomes the target &mdash; an concept known as Goodhart's Law.</li>
</ul>
<p><span>When it comes to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/everyday-habits-that-will-improve-your-life-2018-6" target="_blank" rel="noopener">building a habit</a>, measurement is a double-edged sword.</span></p>
<p><span>In a&nbsp;<a href="https://www.madfientist.com/james-clear-interview/?ck_subscriber_id=276443929" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recent podcast</a>&nbsp;hosted by&nbsp;<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/author/mad-fientist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Brandon of the Mad Fientist</a>, who retired early at 34, productivity expert James Clear said measurement is one tool every successful person uses while forming a <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/habits-to-break-before-you-turn-30-2018-3" target="_blank" rel="noopener">habit</a>&nbsp;or working toward a goal &mdash; but if they're not careful, it can also be their downfall.</span></p>
<p>There are three benefits to measuring your progress, according to Clear, who recently published the book "<a href="https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Atomic Habits</a>" and has 400,000-plus subscribers reading his advice via his weekly newsletter.</p>
<p>"The first is that measurement makes a habit more obvious. It makes a behavior more obvious. So by measuring something, you become aware of it," he said. "Secondly, when you're making progress, there's an additive effect to measurement. For example, by tracking each time you do a behavior, or each time you perform a habit, like if you put an 'X' in the calendar every day that you practice guitar, then you start to see those build up, and you get motivated to stick with it."</p>
<p>The third, he said, is that measurement makes a habit satisfying. "It adds an immediate bit of gratification to doing the work. So, even though you might not be able to play the piece in full yet, which is what the real thing you're working toward, it doesn't feel like you totally have to delay gratification because you still get the immediate gratification of measuring it and marking an 'X' off and so on."</p>
<p>But, there's a catch.&nbsp;</p>
<p>"Now, the challenge is that &mdash; and this is something that's called Goodhart's Law &mdash; a measure ceases to be a good measure when it becomes the target," he said. "In other words, a measure is only useful when it informs you or when it is a bit of data that kind of nudges you toward the ultimate thing."</p>
<p>He continued: "But when it all becomes about the measurement, when the only thing that matters is hitting the quarterly numbers in the business, or hitting a particular number on the scale, then you start to sacrifice &mdash; like you don't even care about health anymore, you just care about hitting the number on the scale. And so you're over-focused on measurement."</p>
<p><span>"I would say that that can actually be a downside to deliberate practice, is that sometimes if you're so focused on measurement, it can pull you off course," he said.</span></p>
<p>Clear offers an example: If you measure weight loss, but fall into an obsession about the number on the scale, then you lose the productivity and benefits of the measurement. It can derail you, and it might be more beneficial to try a another type of measurement, like "non-scale victories" that aren't quantifiable &mdash; fitting into an old pair of pants, noticing a difference in your skin, or having an increased libido.</p>
<p>"One of the purposes the measurement should provide, is that it provides an emotional signal that you're moving in the right direction," he said." It provides a signal of progress. And that's really all that you're looking for."</p>
<p>"You may not be able to track it, but [ask yourself] 'How can I find a positive emotional signal that I'm making progress and I'm moving in the right direction?" he said. "The core point is that behaviors need to be satisfying for you to have a reason to repeat them."</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/james-clear-productivity-how-to-accomplish-a-goal-2018-10#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-childish-gambinos-guava-island-movie-was-made-and-what-it-means-2019-4">How Childish Gambino's 'Guava Island' movie was made and what it means</a></p> https://www.insider.com/how-to-improve-your-life-2016-1How to be happier, healthier, and more successful in 21 days, according to sciencehttps://www.insider.com/how-to-improve-your-life-2016-1
Sun, 18 Mar 2018 16:48:00 -0400Kevin Loria and Richard Feloni
<p><img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5aabf6de7708e91fc464832c-1200/276297877911f7e91b4e8o.jpg" alt="girl buying lunch coffee looking at camera happy" data-mce-source="Strelka/Flickr" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/strelka/27629787791/in/album-72157667154153173/" /></p><p>So you want to be happier, healthier, and more successful?</p>
<p>You don't necessarily need to resolve to change your life at the New Year &mdash; you can do it any time. But faced with unlimited advice and little time to spare, it's hard to know where to start.</p>
<p>The following 21-day self-improvement program is designed for busy people. It features a few habits that will make a big difference if you can get started with them, along with a bunch of tasks that most of us have probably been putting off for too long.</p>
<p>You can start on any Monday and should complete the actions on their specified day when possible.&nbsp;We recommend embarking on this challenge with at least one other person, so you'll have more fun and keep each other in check.&nbsp;</p>
<p>The following slides go through the days and the science behind them in detail.</p>
<p><em>This is an updated version of a post. Drake Baer contributed to <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/ways-to-improve-your-life-2014-11">a previous version</a>.</em></p><p><strong>SEE ALSO:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.insider.com/how-to-have-a-happy-relationship-2018-2" >8 things that happy couples have in common</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>FOLLOW US:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/thisisinsider" >INSIDER is on Facebook</a></strong></p>
<h3>MONDAY, DAY 1: Floss your teeth. Do it every day for the rest of your life.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b463a-400-300/monday-day-1-floss-your-teeth-do-it-every-day-for-the-rest-of-your-life.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Believe it or not, as many as 60% of Americans <a href="https://www.ada.org/en/publications/ada-news/2014-archive/october/survey-finds-shortcomings-in-oral-health-habits">don't floss every day</a>. Yet this core dental hygiene technique will clean your teeth and gums of plaque, protecting your teeth as you age and saving you on dental bills. Some studies have even found that flossing <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-flossing-can-save-your-life-1975548.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">is associated with a lower risk of heart disease, diabetes, and dementia</a>.</p>
<p>If you are one of the people who don't floss, make today the day you start doing it consistently.</p>
<p>How can you get in the habit?</p>
<p>Stanford psychologist B.J. Fogg is one of the foremost researchers on habit formation. The takeaway from all his work: <a href="http://tinyhabits.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Floss one tooth</a>.</p>
<p>If you're trying to form a habit, it can be helpful to start as small as possible, with a minimum viable habit. The point, <a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3021820/work-smart/how-incredibly-lazy-people-can-form-productive-habits" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fogg emphasizes</a>, is to insert the structure of the activity in your day, rather than doing it perfectly every time. This way of thinking works for all habits, and it works for flossing, too &mdash; though if you floss the whole mouth, you'll be doing even better.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>TUESDAY, DAY 2: Break a sweat. Do it every day for the rest of your life.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b463b-400-300/tuesday-day-2-break-a-sweat-do-it-every-day-for-the-rest-of-your-life.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Exercise is the closest thing we have to a <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/best-exercise-for-brain-body-2017-7">miracle drug.</a>&nbsp;It can improve heart health,<a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-exercise-affects-your-brain-2017-4/">&nbsp;memory, sleep, and</a>&nbsp;sexual performance &mdash; <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/exercise-cardio-brain-body-health-benefits-2017-12">among other things</a>.</p>
<p>Even just a little bit of exercise has huge benefits.&nbsp;Research shows that running just <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/running-just-5-minutes-a-day-could-add-years-to-your-life-2014-7">five to 10 minutes a day</a> can add years to your life, and if you establish that habit now, you can build on it.</p>
<p>A <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/new-york-times-7-minute-workout-app-2014-10">seven-minute workout using interval training</a>&nbsp;could make a huge difference, too, and longer workouts are obviously great as well.</p>
<p>The key is <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/best-ways-to-stay-in-shape-during-winter-2017-12/">finding a workout</a> you can stick to. But there's no shame in starting small.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>WEDNESDAY, DAY 3: Write in a journal. Do it every day for the rest of this program.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b463c-400-300/wednesday-day-3-write-in-a-journal-do-it-every-day-for-the-rest-of-this-program.jpg" alt="" />
<p> <p>Psychologists have been studying "expressive writing," or journaling about difficult moments in your life, for a few decades. They've found that a few minutes journaling <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/the-positive-effects-of-journaling-and-expressive-writing-2014-5">improves everything from your mood to immune system to sporting performance</a>. Psychology researchers have repeatedly found that keeping a "gratitude journal" <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1052562911430062">can improve well-being</a>.</p>
<p>It works for work, too: A Harvard Business School study found that people who wrote about their jobs <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/this-15-minute-activity-will-make-you-more-successful-at-work-2014-5">improved their performance by 23%</a>.</p>
<p>"When people have the opportunity to reflect, they experience a boost in self-efficacy," said HBS professor Francesca Gino. "They feel more confident that they can achieve things. As a result, they put more effort into what they're doing and what they learn."</p>
<p>So as a part of this life-improvement adventure, try reflecting on your day. You can also take the opportunity to look at the tasks that lie ahead and start making plans for the ones that require preparation.</p>
<p>If you find journaling to be useful, keep it up.</p> </p>
<br/><br/><h3>THURSDAY, DAY 4: Pick up a novel.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/566afb10dd0895ce478b46c7-400-300/thursday-day-4-pick-up-a-novel.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Let's start in on something scarce in modern life: reading an actual novel.</p>
<p>Why fiction? Some psychology researchers have argued that fiction can <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/in-the-minds-of-others/">help develop social skills,</a>&nbsp;and a review of studies suggested that reading <a href="http://www.cell.com/trends/cognitive-sciences/fulltext/S1364-6613(16)30070-5">could improve empathy</a>.</p>
<p>Even though other researchers <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/12/should-psychologists-study-fiction/509405/">have pushed back on the idea</a> that reading directly changes you, we'd argue it's still worth picking up a novel.</p>
<p>Leaders ranging from <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/what-us-presidents-think-everyone-should-read-2018-2http://www.businessinsider.com/barack-obama-favorite-books-from-2017-2018-1">Barack Obama</a> to <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/bill-gates-jeff-bezos-elon-musk-favorite-books-2017-11">Bill Gates to Elon Musk</a> all provide book recommendations, always including fiction they think could help readers better understand the world. In general, it's a way of getting perspective on things &mdash; while also taking a break from the absorbing and distracting online world.</p>
<p>Reading the same book as a friend or partner will help keep you on track (as with every life-improvement strategy on this list), and you can get together to discuss it when you're done. Then you'll have the beginnings of a book club &mdash; assuming you keep reading, as you should.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>FRIDAY, DAY 5: Go out to lunch with a colleague you don't know well.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b4718-400-300/friday-day-5-go-out-to-lunch-with-a-colleague-you-dont-know-well.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>When you think of networking, you probably imagine grabbing a coffee or drink with a potential client, employer, or mentor for the benefit of your career. But you might be missing out on valuable relationships in your own office.</p>
<p>Rather than eating lunch at your desk or with a buddy, strike up a conversation with an acquaintance and see if they'd like to grab something to eat.</p>
<p>Corporate coach <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/feb2010/ca20100222_142589.htm">Beth Weissenberger of the Handel Group</a> has worked with executives at companies like GE and the New York Times, teaching them how to navigate office politics for maximum productivity and success. <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-navigate-office-politics-2014-10">Office politics shouldn't mean gossiping and manipulation</a>, Weissenberger said. They should be about building meaningful relationships with the people you're surrounded by all day.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SATURDAY, DAY 6: Go to a museum.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b463d-400-300/saturday-day-6-go-to-a-museum.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Museum visits (besides being fun) come with a list of cognitive benefits that can help you become more creative, literate, and well-rounded.</p>
<p>After <a href="http://educationnext.org/the-educational-value-of-field-trips/">visiting an art museum</a>, students show stronger critical thinking skills and are more socially tolerant.&nbsp;Adults show similar benefits.</p>
<p>Visiting a museum can also relieve mental fatigue and restore the ability to focus similar to the way that being outdoors can, <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2151-6952.2008.tb00293.x/abstract">according to research</a> from the University of Queensland in Australia.</p>
<p>Plus, going to a museum is a <a href="http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2011/03/07/you-can-increase-your-intelligence-5-ways-to-maximize-your-cognitive-potential/">novelty-seeking venture</a>, which triggers your brain to be open to learning. Not only does this provide long lasting cognitive benefits, it's also connected to one of the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/best-online-personality-test-scientifically-accurate-2016-12">Big 5 personality traits</a> &mdash; openness to experience. This is the trait most associated with <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/the-personality-trait-that-drives-creative-achievement-2014-7">creative achievement</a>.</p>
<p>If you are a frequent museum-goer, try to pick one you haven't been to before. If your last museum experience was a class field trip, go on your own or with a companion &mdash; and keep an open mind.&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SUNDAY, DAY 7: Volunteer.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/55ad6a57dd08954d728b4587-400-300/sunday-day-7-volunteer.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>There are countless causes out there that could use your help, but if that isn't enough motivation, there are also many ways volunteering will improve your life.</p>
<p>Engaging in generous behavior makes people feel good &mdash; as good as if their household income doubled,&nbsp;according to a study by<a href="http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/11-038.pdf">&nbsp;Harvard Business School researchers</a>.</p>
<p>The strong feeling you get from connecting with those you're helping actually has a physical effect on your body. The oxytocin hormone our brain releases during moments of empathy lowers levels of the stress-causing cortisol hormone.</p>
<p>The good thing about all of these benefits is that when you start volunteering, you'll probably like it enough to keep doing it regularly &mdash; thereby making the world a better place.</p>
<p>If you need some help finding a place where you can volunteer, check out <a href="https://www.volunteermatch.org/">Volunteer Match</a>.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>MONDAY, DAY 8: Start using a spending tracking app — or at least think about your budget.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b471b-400-300/monday-day-8-start-using-a-spending-tracking-app--or-at-least-think-about-your-budget.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Money is dangerously easy to spend, and if you're not tracking it, you'll spend it even faster.</p>
<p>In recent years, a handful of companies have built easy-to-use apps that take the "ugh" out of budgeting.</p>
<p>Two options to consider are&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youneedabudget.com/">You Need a Budget</a> and&nbsp;<a href="https://www.mint.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Mint</a>.</p>
<p>You Need a Budget can sync with your financial information and tries to incorporate all your spending to help you plan for the future.&nbsp;You can try it for free, though you'll need to start paying for the service after 34 days.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Mint is fully free to use. Owned by Intuit, the makers of Quicken, Mint is a web and mobile app that gives you a complete overview of your finances &mdash; letting you connect your bank accounts, credit cards, and investments so that you can see the full picture in one place. Mint automatically categorizes your spending, though it's not always accurate, so users generally need to review transactions to make sure everything is correct. You can also create manual categories to get a clearer analysis.&nbsp;</p>
<p>In general, the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-to-ask-about-money-for-financial-success-2018-1">most helpful thing you can do for your finances</a> is to stop and think about them for a few moments so you can figure our your priorities and seek out the answers to any questions you have.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>TUESDAY, DAY 9: Get rid of any clothes that you haven't worn in a full year.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b471c-400-300/tuesday-day-9-get-rid-of-any-clothes-that-you-havent-worn-in-a-full-year.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You may love that pair of ripped jeans from college, but there's no way you're wearing them out of the house. Chances are they're one of a dozen or more articles of clothing you don't need anymore.</p>
<p>Let go of your emotional attachment and give these clothes people who might actually wear them. You can donate clothes to places like <a href="http://www.goodwill.org/">Goodwill</a>, <a href="http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/">the Salvation Army</a>, and <a href="http://www.pickupplease.org/">Vietnam Veterans of America</a>. (In the case of those ripped jeans, some organizations reuse fabric from torn clothes.)&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;If you have a particularly trendy item that you'd rather sell for some cash, this doesn't have to be a purely altruistic activity. You can bring those items to a local second-hand store or check out sites like <a href="https://www.tradesy.com/">Tradesy</a>, <a href="https://www.liketwice.com/">Twice</a>, and <a href="http://www.threadflip.com/">Threadflip</a>.</p>
<p>It's also good for your home to get rid of clutter. Plus, you'll make room for new clothes that you'll like better.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>WEDNESDAY, DAY 10: Get your email under control.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b471d-400-300/wednesday-day-10-get-your-email-under-control.jpg" alt="" />
<p> <p>In 1946, Gertrude Stein wrote "Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."</p>
<p>If only she knew what we face today.</p>
<p>But there are some tricks to getting your unread emails down to zero, or at least something more sustainable &mdash; though it's going to take some work.</p>
<p>First, unsubscribe from the email newsletters you've signed up for that you don't read &mdash; in most cases, you can do that with just one or two clicks at the bottom of each email.</p>
<p>Then if you want to get rid of everything, there are a few approaches.</p>
<p>For one, try to delete or archive everything you can &mdash; any old newsletter, deal, or receipt. Then answer any message that can be responded to in under five minutes. If there are things that will take longer to respond to, use a system. File those emails in a "respond later" folder, and schedule a time to do so. You could also use an app like <a href="http://www.boomeranggmail.com/">Boomerang</a> that can make an email pop up in your inbox again after a certain amount of time. You can also use that app to schedule emails to send later.</p>
<p>If that's all too much, then <a href="http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/19/disruptions-looking-for-relief-from-a-flood-of-email/?_r=0">declare email bankruptcy</a>&nbsp;(or embrace the notion of <a href="https://emaildebtforgiveness.me/">Email Debt Forgiveness Day</a>) and start anew.</p>
<p>Going forward, try using filters to group important emails or automatically archive ones you don't want to delete, like receipts, but don't want in your inbox. You can also decide to limit how much you look at email and only <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-check-email-efficiently-according-to-computer-science-2016-7">check on a set timeframe</a>, like once every hour or two. Then you may be better able to devote energy and concentration to the task.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Another valid approach is to simply&nbsp;<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/oliver-burkeman-column/2014/dec/05/relax-ignore-email-inbox-read-it-all">accept that it's impossible to read everything and ignore that notification box</a>. But in that case, try to respond to the important messages as soon as they come in.</p> </p>
<br/><br/><h3>THURSDAY, DAY 11: Reach out to three people who you haven't talked to recently.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b471e-400-300/thursday-day-11-reach-out-to-three-people-who-you-havent-talked-to-recently.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>There are three types of interpersonal ties: weak, strong, and absent.</p>
<p>The 1973 study "<a href="http://smg.media.mit.edu/library/Granovetter.WeakTies.pdf">The Strength of Weak Ties</a>" by Mark Granovetter of Johns Hopkins University found that the strong ties you share with close friends and family generally will not get you ahead. Instead, the most promising ties are the weak ones you share with acquaintances.</p>
<p>Even though the members of your inner circle may care about you deeply, <a href="http://www.leadershipcloseup.com/2012/12/14/strength-of-weak-ties-in-social-networking-seek-to-be-worth-knowing/">they also tend to have access to the same people and information that you do</a>.</p>
<p>So take some time to reconnect with three former friends or associates that you haven't talked to in months or years. Not only will it feel good to get back in touch, but there's a chance you'll be helpful to one another.</p>
<p>It's up to you whether to call or send an email or text message. If you're unsure, email is probably the best choice as it represents a good compromise between efficiency and the potential for a meaningful message. Then you can always arrange a follow-up call or meeting.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>FRIDAY, DAY 12: Go see a live show.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/59a2ea3624884919f84d502c-400-300/friday-day-12-go-see-a-live-show.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Steve Jobs used to say that the people with the most insight were those who had the biggest "<a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3009649/leadership-now/steve-jobs-nate-silver-and-pablo-picasso-why-the-most-creative-people-are-gen" target="_blank" rel="noopener">bag of experiences</a>."</p>
<p>If you want to&nbsp;add to your bag, make an effort to see performing arts like classical music, theater, dance, or rock concerts.</p>
<p>Live shows are a way to tap directly into your local culture, and they've also been shown to have a noticeable effect on viewers. A <a href="http://www.operaamerica.org/content/research/PARC%205%20communities%20I.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">2002 survey</a> found that attending such events increases cultural understanding, facilitates a sense of connection to a community, and inspires personal creativity.</p>
<p>Go with friends or make it a date &mdash; then the performance will be a bonding experience, too.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SATURDAY, DAY 13: Go on a trip to somewhere you've never been before.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b463f-400-300/saturday-day-13-go-on-a-trip-to-somewhere-youve-never-been-before.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>It's time to get out of town.</p>
<p>Heading to previously unknown locales &mdash; even if that means the next town over &mdash; is fantastic for you neurological and psychological well-being. Travel is an opportunity to relax, learn, and try something new. <a href="https://www.globalcoalitiononaging.com/index.php?id=travel-and-healthy-aging-the-journey-and-the-destination">Some research on aging shows</a> that travelers can even experience stress reduction and cognitive benefits.</p>
<p>As philosopher Alain de Botton would say, travel expands us.</p>
<p>"It is not necessarily at home that we best encounter our true selves," he wrote in "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Travel-Alain-Botton/dp/0375725342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1416239706&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=The+Art+of+Travel" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Art of Travel</a>." "The furniture insists that we cannot change because it does not; the domestic setting keeps us tethered to the person we are in ordinary life, who may not be who we essentially are."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SUNDAY, DAY 14: Make art.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4640-400-300/sunday-day-14-make-art.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>If the cave paintings dotted around the world can tell us anything, it's that humans and our Neanderthal predecessors have been <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/neanderthals-created-first-cave-paintings-2018-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">making art for over 60,000 years</a>.</p>
<p>But the visual arts aren't just nice to look at. Decades of <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2804629/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">psychological research</a> shows that making art has all sorts of benefits for people's well-being.</p>
<p>The research <a href="http://jamesclear.com/make-more-art" target="_blank" rel="noopener">suggests</a> that creating visual art has these effects:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">&bull; Improved well-being by decreasing negative emotions and increasing positive ones</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">&bull; Improvements in flow and spontaneity, expression of grief, positive identity, and social networks</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">&bull; Reductions in distress and negative emotions</p>
<p>Literary arts offer similar benefits. As we've mentioned before, the act of writing improves well-being, reduces anxiety, and even boosts your immune system.</p>
<p>With that in mind, take a stab at creating some kind of artwork. It's going to take some time &mdash; we're asking for at least 90 minutes. If you have some sketching skills, you could draw a still life on your kitchen table. If you're less practiced, use pastels to create some abstract art. If you're prefer to stay linguistic, write a poem describing a scene you witnessed recently.</p>
<p>These don't have to be "good" &mdash; what matters is that you create.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>MONDAY, DAY 15: Think about the lifestyle you want in the future.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4641-400-300/monday-day-15-think-about-the-lifestyle-you-want-in-the-future.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>The problem with planning your life is that there are an impossibly high number of variables &mdash; as <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/career-advice-from-linkedin-founder-reid-hoffman-2014-6">LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEToxwSycW1uqGG-iYZOERU0WBTKIAMt" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Apple CEO Tim Cook</a> have noted.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-4-Hour-Workweek-Anywhere-Expanded/dp/0307465357" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"4-Hour Workweek"</a> author Tim Ferriss and other productivity nerds say the most effective way to make life plans is something called lifestyle design. Instead of focusing on the status you want to attain, it's better to focus on the life you want to experience. Thinking about lifestyle design means <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=dxumVrUrpYcC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=4-hour+work+week&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=pWhFVL3cOo32yQSQtILICA&amp;ved=0CCgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=lifestyle%20design&amp;f=false" target="_blank" rel="noopener">considering</a> the elements needed for us to flourish &mdash; like money, mobility, time, and relationships &mdash; and how we want those things to come together.</p>
<p>So take some time to envision the lifestyle you want in one year, five years, ten years. One simple way to do that brainstorming is to try something called the perfect day exercise. Here's "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0067TGSOK">The $100 Startup</a>" author Chris Guillebeau's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-100-Startup-Reinvent-Living/dp/0307951529" target="_blank" rel="noopener">take</a>:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">In this classic exercise, you write out your idealized, perfect day in great detail, beginning from what time you get up and what you have for breakfast all the way through what you do for each hour of the day and who you talk to. The more detail you can add to the plan, the better.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Then you begin to make plans to adjust your life to get closer to the perfect day you've designed for yourself. If you take this exercise seriously, you may begin making more conscious decisions about how you spend your time and what you focus on. Even if you don't make a lot of changes, you'll learn a lot about yourself based on the information you acquire.</p>
<p>Grab a journal and plot out what your perfect days will look like at these points in your life.</p>
<p>By doing this, you'll be better able to recognize opportunity when it knocks at your door.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>TUESDAY, DAY 16: Take control of your online passwords.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b4723-400-300/tuesday-day-16-take-control-of-your-online-passwords.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>This assignment may not be fun, but it's important.</p>
<p>Passwords get stolen, databases get hacked. Being at risk of having your personal information stolen is not only a financial liability &mdash; it can <a href="http://www.theverge.com/2012/8/6/3224597/mat-honan-hacked-apple-icloud-google-twitter">result in the loss</a> of irreplaceable information and photos.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, almost everyone fails to follow good advice on passwords: they put off updating passwords after data breaches, use the same passwords for multiple sites, or rely on overly simple passwords.</p>
<p>At the very least, you should take this occasion to change all your passwords and make sure you have two-step verification enabled for everything, with backup codes printed and stored in a secure location.</p>
<p>Even better, you could set up a password manager that can create and store<a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/idea-for-easy-to-remember-passwords-2013-12"> secure passwords</a> for everything you do online. <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/100-best-apps-for-iphone-and-android-2014-10?op=1">We recommend</a>&nbsp;<a href="https://agilebits.com/onepassword">1Password</a> or <a href="https://lastpass.com/">LastPass</a>.</p>
<p>You just have to remember one "master password" and let the manager do the rest. Again, it won't be fun to set up, but your life will be vastly easier and safer if you do.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>WEDNESDAY, DAY 17: Make a financial plan for the future.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4642-400-300/wednesday-day-17-make-a-financial-plan-for-the-future.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>We all have things we want to accomplish in life, and, chances are, they won't be cheap.</p>
<p>The <a href="http://blogs.usda.gov/2013/08/14/what-does-it-cost-to-raise-a-child/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">USDA estimated</a>&nbsp;in 2012 that it costs about $250,000 to raise a child born that year through age 16. That doesn't include college tuition, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/50-colleges-charge-60000-dollars-2014-7" target="_blank" rel="noopener">which can top $200,000</a> at some schools.</p>
<p>Even if you don't have kids, it's recommended that everyone have around <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-emergency-savings-do-you-need-2014-8" target="_blank" rel="noopener">six month's worth of savings</a>&nbsp;in case of an emergency. That's on top of <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/retirement-savings-guide-2014-3" target="_blank" rel="noopener">retirement savings</a>, which at this point in time generally need to cover about 30 years of living expenses.</p>
<p>It's time to think big. Get an idea of when your goals will become reality by listing:</p>
<p><strong>- </strong>Your financial goals: These are major purchases or achievements like <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-one-woman-paid-off-23000-of-debt-in-15-months-2014-4">getting out of debt</a>, buying a home, paying for a wedding, and taking that dream vacation.</p>
<p><strong>- </strong>Your income: If you already have a budget, you should know your take-home pay. If not, look at your paychecks and add in any other income streams you may have.</p>
<p><strong>- </strong>Your debts: Do you have credit card debt, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-pay-student-loans-faster-2014-5" target="_blank" rel="noopener">student loans</a>, a car loan, or a mortgage? These payments are obligations you must meet, so take them into account when planning how much money goes toward your goals.</p>
<p>Then get specific by adding deadlines to achieve these goals, taking into account your debt and income. How much will you need to put toward that goal per month in order to hit it?</p>
<p>If you need help thinking about these complicated matters, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-to-ask-about-money-for-financial-success-2018-1">these are the five questions</a> Business Insider senior editor and certified financial planner Lauren Lyons Cole says you should ask yourself.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>THURSDAY, DAY 18: Rigorously update your LinkedIn page, resume, or professional website.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4643-400-300/thursday-day-18-rigorously-update-your-linkedin-page-resume-or-professional-website.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Updating and improving your LinkedIn profile or professional website not only prepares you for your next job but also forces you to examine your career objectively.</p>
<p>Take a look at your page right now and view it the way a recruiter would. First, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-video-linkedin-profile-photo-2014-11">make sure your photo is a quality portrait</a> that presents you the way you want to look in your industry. If you're going for a job on Wall Street, for example, you should be in formal wear; if you're a Bay Area techie, it's probably okay to appear in a nice t-shirt.</p>
<p>Your Summary section should give a clear and concise description of who you are and what you have to offer. Get rid of any large blocks of texts, making sure that everything is easy to scan.</p>
<p>If you aren't a LinkedIn user and use a professional portfolio site instead, make sure it's up to date, that links to any of your work are still valid, and you're satisfied the information you're presenting accurately represents you.</p>
<p>And while you're at it, now is also a good time to update your r&eacute;sum&eacute; so that <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/excellent-resume-for-mid-level-employee-2014-8">it's current and organized in a clean and concise way</a>.</p>
<p>And make sure your page isn't boring. Use your personality in your writing and make sure you link to your relevant social media pages and websites, as well as any work you would like to share.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>FRIDAY, DAY 19: Reach out to two people you admire but have never met.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/568c3a19dd0895fa338b4726-400-300/friday-day-19-reach-out-to-two-people-you-admire-but-have-never-met.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You'd be surprised at the connections you can make with highly influential people just by sending the right email.</p>
<p>To be clear, don't expect to set up a coffee date with Barack Obama anytime soon, but consider some of your favorite writers, entrepreneurs, artists, athletes &mdash; anyone influential that you would enjoy hearing from. You might have the best luck with someone who is currently out of the limelight, since they'll have an inbox that isn't flooded with media requests.</p>
<p>Personal finance author <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-get-busy-people-to-reply-to-your-email-2014-10">Ramit Sethi recommends sending an email that follows this format</a>: Introduce yourself, reach a commonality (i.e. explain how has this person influenced you), and then ask a question.</p>
<p>Keep things concise, and be humble. And of course, make sure that whatever you ask can't be answered with a simple Google search.</p>
<p>After you get in touch with this person &mdash; whether you get a single-line emailed response or a meeting over coffee &mdash; follow up with them.</p>
<p>Sethi says that refined networking skills separate the mediocre from the truly successful. The best $100 you can spend in a year may be the coffees or lunches you by for those who can help you.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SATURDAY, DAY 20: Spend at least three hours in nature.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4644-400-300/saturday-day-20-spend-at-least-three-hours-in-nature.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You're almost there.</p>
<p>Your penultimate assignment is another that should be fun and also offers important benefits.</p>
<p>Go outside &mdash; a park will do, but if you can go on a hike, even better.</p>
<p>Spending time in nature lowers stress levels, restores mental energy, improves vision, and provides a creativity boost &mdash; <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/why-spending-more-time-outside-is-healthy-2017-7">along with much more</a>.</p>
<p>For those reasons, psychiatrists in Japan are prescribing their patients <em><a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/0804/696fae7e67588311962157e9b70e597c243a.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shinrin yoku</a></em>, or wilderness bathing.</p>
<p>Not only is going outside good for you, it should also be enjoyable. You can combine breaking a sweat and spending time with friends and do something that should leave you feeling happier afterward.</p>
<p>While outside, you can even take some time to reflect on the past few weeks of challenges and changes.&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SUNDAY, DAY 21: Cook an ambitious dinner.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/568d6849dd089507338b4645-400-300/sunday-day-21-cook-an-ambitious-dinner.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Take this final day to celebrate with friends and also practice a crucial skill.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Solves-Everything-Kitchen-Health-ebook/dp/B005OKGVT0">Cooking at home</a> "solves everything," according to bestselling author and James Beard Foundation Leadership Award winner Mark Bittman. He wrote that people who eat at real food cooked at home eat significantly healthier meals and save money. Plus, research shows that <a href="http://releases.jhu.edu/2010/11/04/hard-work-improves-the-taste-of-food-johns-hopkins-study-finds/">food tastes better</a> if you've worked to prepare it.</p>
<p>Make sure you cook "<a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/diet-nutrition-advice-2016-8">real food</a>" &mdash; nothing processed or that comes prepared and just has to be heated up. That's the best way to eat well, according to nutritionists and diet researchers. Healthy eating, of course, is one of the best ways to stay healthy.</p>
<p>As for what "ambitious" means, decide for yourself. If you never cook, cook; if you cook often, then cook an elaborate meal.</p>
<p>"It's as varied and challenging and rewarding a task as exists," Bittman wrote of cooking.</p>
<p>Eating dinner with friends is about as good a bonding experience as there is, too. Regale them with stories from the past three weeks of your self-improvement kick.</p>
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<br/><br/> https://www.insider.com/how-to-improve-memory-2018-110 little things you can do every day to improve your memoryhttps://www.insider.com/how-to-improve-memory-2018-1
Tue, 09 Jan 2018 17:43:07 -0500Sarah Schmalbruch
<p><img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5a54d9ea4931461f008b473c-1500/woman working on computer.jpg" alt="Woman Working on Computer" data-mce-source="Andrew Neel/Unsplash" data-link="https://unsplash.com/photos/QLqNalPe0RA" /></p><p></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>INSIDER spoke to two experts about things you can do on a daily basis to improve memory.</strong></li>
<li><strong>Specific techniques include repeating things out loud, and thinking in pictures.</strong></li>
<li><strong>Other tips&nbsp; include exercising, getting enough sleep, being social, and avoiding multitasking.</strong></li>
</ul>
<hr />
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Memory is one of the most precious functions our brain has.</p>
<p>So it's no wonder that we're constantly on the lookout for ways to improve it. Studies on the subject have recommended everything from <a href="http://www.insider.com/chocolate-may-improve-your-memory-2017-6" target="_blank" rel="noopener">eating chocolate</a> to <a href="http://www.insider.com/the-easy-trick-that-could-improve-memory-2018-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reading out loud to yourself</a>.</p>
<p>INSIDER spoke to two experts to figure out a few simple things you can do on a daily basis that will help to improve your memory. One expert is <a href="https://joelsalinasmd.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Joel Salinas</a>, a neurologist and author of "Mirror Touch." The other is <a href="http://ronwhitetraining.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Ron White</a>, a two-time national memory champion who teaches memory training around the world.</p>
<p>Keep scrolling to see what you can do to keep your memory in good working order.</p><p><strong>SEE ALSO:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.insider.com/improve-memory-tips-jeopardy-contestant-2016-10" >5 genius hacks to improve your memory, according to a 'Jeopardy!' champion</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>FOLLOW US:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/thisisinsiderfitness/" >INSIDER Fitness is on Facebook</a></strong></p>
<h3>Repeat things out loud</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5a54cbbd49314647078b4690-400-300/repeat-things-out-loud.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>According to Salinas, memory works in three basic steps: encoding, recording, and retrieval. Repeating information gives your brain another opportunity to encode the information you're hearing, which subsequently makes it easier to condense, store, and retrieve this information later, Salinas said.</p>
<p>He compares the process to blazing a trail in the woods. The more times you walk the same trail, the clearer the pathway will become and the easier it will be to find the next time. Similarly, when you repeat information, you're strengthening neural pathways that will help you retrieve that information in the future.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Be social</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5a53fbee4931467d018b4693-400-300/be-social.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Salinas told INSIDER that interacting with others is a a form of mental stimulation and more importantly, one that can be consistently challenging to the brain. He says that those who stay socially active have a healthier brain biology despite their age and often perform better on tasks that require memory.&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Think in pictures</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5a55421f07429b3a008b45b9-400-300/think-in-pictures.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Both White and Salinas emphasize the importance of making associations when trying to remember pieces of information. Salinas says that attaching a mental image or another sense to a piece of information provides the memory with a "hook" that will help it to recall that information.</p>
<p>For example, if you're trying to remember names, White suggests thinking of a picture to represent that name. If the name is Lisa, think of the Mona Lisa. If it's Brian, think of a brain. It's it's Steve, think of a stove. Then, when you see those people the next time, you'll remember the picture you associated with their name, which will help you remember the name.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Create a "palace" in your mind to store memories</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5a54cd4c493146a50d8b4701-400-300/create-a-palace-in-your-mind-to-store-memories.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>White says this technique &mdash; commonly known as the "memory palace" &mdash; is what he used to set the record for memorizing a full deck of cards in the shortest amount of time.</p>
<p>White says to start off by imagining the pieces of furniture in a room in your apartment or house. Then assign those pieces of furniture a piece of information that you're hoping to remember. You're effectively turning pieces of furniture into a storage places for your data.</p>
<p>For example, let's say you're trying to memorize a to-do list for the day, and one of the tasks on your list is buying a gift for a friend's baby shower. Imagine your living room couch, then imagine a baby bottle sitting on the couch. According to White, "storing" that bottle on your couch will cause you to remember the word bottle, which will then trigger you to remember that you have to buy a baby shower gift.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Avoid multitasking</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5a53f9e64931460c098b4619-400-300/avoid-multitasking.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>According to Salinas, your memory works best when your attention is focused completely on the information you're trying to remember.</p>
<p>He says that you'll have a much easier time memorizing the items on a grocery list if you're only thinking about that grocery list. If, however, you're looking for your car keys and texting at the same time, it's going to be tough to remember the items on your list.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Take the time to relax and de-stress</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5a53fb0249314630018b4682-400-300/take-the-time-to-relax-and-de-stress.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>In addition to completing only one task at a time, Salinas also says that being in a relaxed mental state helps our brains to focus, and therefore improves memory. This is because when we're relaxed, our mind is less likely to wander, allowing us to slow down and focus on one piece of information, giving our brains a better chance at encoding, recording, and retrieving that information, Salinas told INSIDER.</p>
<p>He says research has shown that exercises such as deep breathing, meditation, and taking walks are all useful techniques for relaxation.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Exercise</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5a54c788493146a1188b4573-400-300/exercise.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Physical activity isn't just beneficial for your body; it's beneficial for your brain too. Salinas told INSIDER that when we exercise, our brain produces molecules that help with synapse formation and brain cell repair, both of which benefit memory function.</p>
<p>Exercise also combats buildup in the brain's blood vessels that can lead to the death of brain cells, Salinas says.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Break information down</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5a54ca8049314666768b45fe-400-300/break-information-down.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Let's say you're trying to memorize a long speech. Salinas recommends breaking the speech down into single sentences or ideas and memorizing those one by one instead of trying to get the whole speech down in one fell swoop. Or if you're trying to remember a credit card number, group the numbers into threes and memorize those groups individually.</p>
<p>Salinas says your brain has an easier time digesting information in smaller rather than larger chunks.&nbsp;</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Get enough sleep</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5a54c709493146fb158b4665-400-300/get-enough-sleep.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Salinas says that sleep plays a vital role in memory. While we sleep, our brains re-run simulations of events that happened during the day, securing those moments and pieces of information for the long term, according to Salinas. Memories that aren't reviewed are dropped off.</p>
<p>Salinas also says that recent discoveries have shown that over time, our brains accumulate a protein known as amyloid, which has been linked to Alzheimer's disease. However, when we <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/what-happens-when-you-dont-get-enough-sleep-2017-12">sleep</a>, our brain is able to clear this toxic protein, meaning that a full night's sleep can not only decrease the likelihood of dementia, but also increase memory function, according to Salinas.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Write things down</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5a53f8bd493146d1058b46af-400-300/write-things-down.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>According to Salinas, our brains are much better at recognizing information than recalling it. While recall simply involves retrieving stored information with no prompt or hint, recognition refers to when your brain is given a reminder to help retrieve a piece of information.</p>
<p>For example, Salinas says if you're trying to remember someone's name, you're likely going to have an easier time if you're reminded what letter the name begins with, as opposed to just trying to think of the name randomly.</p></p>
<br/><br/> https://www.insider.com/netflix-star-kindness-diaries-become-better-person-2017-9The star of a Netflix show on kindness shares his foolproof way to become a better personhttps://www.insider.com/netflix-star-kindness-diaries-become-better-person-2017-9
Tue, 19 Sep 2017 16:10:11 -0400Áine Cain
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static6.insider.com/image/59c183162488491fc93d6237-838/unnamed-8.jpg" alt="Leon Logothetis Kindness Diaries" data-mce-source="Leon Logothetis" /></p><p></p>
<p>Kindness isn't a zero sum game.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.leonlogothetis.com/">Leon Logothetis</a> would know. The former stockbroker ultimately left the corporate world to travel the world on his yellow motorbike.</p>
<p>During his journeys, he relied on the generosity of strangers, who provided him with lodgings, meals, and gas. Logothetis would respond by completing an act of kindness for the Good Samaritans, in turn. The television producer and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&amp;page=1&amp;rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ALeon%20Logothetis">author</a> documented his experience for the Netflix series "<a href="http://www.leonlogothetis.com/netflix/">The Kindness Diaries.</a>"</p>
<p>Over the course of his voyage, Logothetis said he realized how people often think about kindness the wrong way.</p>
<p>"I would say kindness is a moment-to-moment practice," he told Business Insider. "You do not have to be perfect. I am not perfect. All my ex-girlfriends will tell you that."</p>
<p>He said it's best to treat kindness as a daily practice rather than a state of being.</p>
<p>"If you fall off the wagon and you scream at someone or you're mean to someone, that's okay," he said. "You're human. Just follow kindness moment to moment. It's a practice. Keep practicing it day in, day out, and things will change. Moment to moment, follow the path of kindness."</p>
<p>In Logothetis' travels around the globe, he found that people tend to want the same things, regardless of background &mdash; to be loved, to be seen, and to be heard. So practicing kindness can be as simple as striving to meet those needs in the moment.</p>
<p>Logothetis added that the biggest mistake you can make is giving up on yourself.</p>
<p>"Don't think, 'Oh I screamed at someone in the car, I'm an evil person and I can't be kind,'" he said. "No. Just do it moment to moment."</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/netflix-star-kindness-diaries-become-better-person-2017-9#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/andrew-zimmern-reveals-find-best-foods-travels-bizarre-foods-2017-8">Andrew Zimmern reveals what he does to find the best foods when he travels</a></p> https://www.insider.com/a-brutal-truth-about-what-makes-people-successful-2017-7Most people think about success all wrong — because they won't accept a brutal truthhttps://www.insider.com/a-brutal-truth-about-what-makes-people-successful-2017-7
Sun, 23 Jul 2017 16:03:00 -0400Jeff Haden
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static3.insider.com/image/597504da9d0918399f3eff2b-1153/undefined" alt="mirror image" data-mce-source="Flickr/Allen Skyy" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/acousticskyy/4395455002/in/photolist-7GpRCW-8AnfLV-49xMvp-8SZMeZ-KPUdd-76qUD8-e2aGDu-yqAXk-am599f-76qUxp-3JGeC3-d67tF-8yUkyb-76qUs8-4Fvyri-DmGd3o-PHGPR-fyPq1N-pin4Ca-8sWrRV-7fMQ1Z-auketV-a9ZnU1-fmJhXG-kJFCR7-3cgvj2-Cpva1-3KG36s-3WT3kR-961Pp-Ew5Gi4-asKDVm-9ixqhU-jHvgN-7hYVby-6NbV8e-5wfHV-aSq5aZ-5JTbZx-9hfAsP-PvXHB-2acuS-5wfJj-cTDjzQ-7VegD4-5wfJ8-c1HPgS-7dakJo-8bwPU6-7iJyUy" /></p><p>Imagine the looks on people's faces when someone says, "You don't need to buy a lighter bike. You'd be a lot better off if you lost 10 or 20 pounds."</p>
<p>(We'll get back to that lovely little scene in a<span>&nbsp;</span><a href="https://www.inc.com/james-sudakow/how-to-slow-down-and-better-appreciate-your-lifes-every-day-moments.html?cid=search">moment</a>.)</p>
<p>Many people feel that buying something new &mdash; new technology, new devices, new systems, new "stuff" &mdash; is the<span>&nbsp;</span><a href="https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/this-albert-camus-quote-perfectly-describes-the-challenge-every-successful-perso.html?cid=search">key to success</a>. They're convinced that what they have is not enough. What holds them back are the things they<span>&nbsp;</span><em>don't</em><span>&nbsp;</span>have.</p>
<p>But that is rarely true. Most people can't work to the limits of what they already have, much less approach the limits of whatever is newer, or faster, or better.</p>
<p>But that doesn't stop people from spending more time searching for better stuff than they do searching for ways to<span>&nbsp;</span><a href="https://www.inc.com/levi-king/how-to-use-work-as-a-motivation-to-stay-in-shape.html?cid=search">improve themselves</a>.</p>
<p>Take cycling. Things like carbon fiber, electronic shifting, and advanced aerodynamics has made bicycles incredibly sophisticated &mdash; and expensive. Go to a triathlon, even an entry-level "sprint" triathlon, and you'll see hundreds of $6k, $8k, and $10k bikes. Even casual competitors spend thousands of dollars pursuing incremental performance gains. The same is true at most Gran Fondos. High-tech and high-expense is the norm, not the exception.</p>
<p>Some years ago I did a triathlon with a friend who is 1) a professional cyclist and 2) way too forthright in expressing his opinions. Since he is who he is, a group quickly formed around him in the staging area. A rather portly gentleman talked about his plan to buy a $9,000 bike. "A lighter bike will definitely be worth it," he declared, obviously confident a pro cyclist riding a cutting-edge bike would agree.</p>
<p>"Oh,<span>&nbsp;</span><em>hell</em><span>&nbsp;</span>no," my friend said. "If I were you I wouldn't waste my money on a lighter bike. You'd be a lot better off if you just lost 10 or 20 pounds."</p>
<p>And with that the group dispersed.</p>
<p>Later I said to him, "That was harsh."</p>
<p>"Maybe," my friend replied. "But instead of looking in the mirror, people look for the next best thing, because it's easier. Unless you're at the top of the sport, equipment is the least of your worries. You have plenty of room to improve yourself first. But, of course, improving yourself takes a lot of work. All you have to do to improve your bike is write a check."</p>
<p>Lack of tact aside, he's right. A pound or two less in bike weight is nothing compared to twenty pounds less in rider weight. A pound or two less in bike weight is nothing compared to improving cardiovascular fitness, or power. Only when you've wrung every last drop of performance out of yourself does it make sense &mdash; if then &mdash; to spend thousands of dollars in hopes of gaining an incremental, at best, advantage.</p>
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5768993edd0895f70b8b4739-2400/rtx2fd1a.jpg" alt="factory manufacturing" data-mce-source="Reuters/Enrique Marcarian" data-mce-caption="Labourers work at the Gottert machinery and tools plant factory in Garin, Argentina, May 20, 2016." />Plenty of companies do the same thing. Once, during a tour of a manufacturing plant, I saw comprehensive data-collection systems, sophisticated automation, and intuitive man-machine interfaces. But those investments had not impacted the bottom line.</p>
<p>Throughput was significantly lower than the most conservative benchmarks. Waste was horrible. Workers stood idle for long stretches of the day.</p>
<p>I asked the plant manager the obvious question. "Well," he huffed, "you have to understand that as an organization we are committed to giving our employees every tool they need to do their jobs."</p>
<p>Admirable, but misguided. For example, they planned to spend $135,000 on computers with faster processors &mdash; even though shop-floor employees only use spreadsheets and simple databases. Processor speed was a non-issue.</p>
<p>Other plants in the same industry using limited automation, manual data collection systems, and buttons and knobs instead of touch screens were significantly more productive. They spent money where it paid off and let skill, experience, and hard work take care of the rest.</p>
<p>Buying new simply for the sake of new is always a dumb investment. Buying a new bike doesn't automatically transform you into a better rider. Buying new technology doesn't automatically transform you or your company. Every technology investment &mdash; in fact,<span>&nbsp;</span><em>every&nbsp;</em>investment &mdash; should result in savings or quantifiable improvement.</p>
<p>Technology is only valuable if it results in faster, cheaper, or better. If not, it just sucks up time and money that could be put to better use somewhere else.</p>
<p>Look in the mirror. Determine what you should improve on your own. You can almost always do a lot better than you are with what you already have.</p>
<p>Make wringing every drop of performance out of yourself your first step.</p>
<p>You may find that you never have to spend time or money finding the next best thing &mdash; because<span>&nbsp;</span><em>you</em><span>&nbsp;</span>are the next best thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/a-brutal-truth-about-what-makes-people-successful-2017-7#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/eric-barker-happiness-filling-four-buckets-successful-good-life-work-balance-2017-7">Forget work-life balance — living 'the good life' means being successful in these 4 metrics</a></p> https://www.insider.com/navy-seal-david-goggins-jesse-itzler-zico-entrepreneur-sucks-2017-6A Navy SEAL told us why we should 'do something that sucks' every dayhttps://www.insider.com/navy-seal-david-goggins-jesse-itzler-zico-entrepreneur-sucks-2017-6
Mon, 03 Jul 2017 09:48:12 -0400Joe Avella
<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Itzler">Jesse Itzler</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">&nbsp;felt he was in a rut. So he asked&nbsp;</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Goggins">Navy SEAL David Goggins</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">&nbsp;to live with him for 31 days, during which Jesse would do anything David told him to do.</span></p>
<p>Jesse would later write&nbsp;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1455534676/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1455534676&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=thebusiinsi-20&amp;linkId=DW5QO7YFAPTN5BGW">"Living With A Seal"</a>&nbsp;documenting the grueling experience of getting whipped into shape by one of the toughest men on the planet. They ran through snow storms, jumped into a frozen lake, and did lots and lots of push-ups.&nbsp;</p>
<p>The adopted the philosophy "if it doesn't suck, we don't do it." David and Jesse explain in order to get better you need to constantly take yourself out of your comfort zone, or do something that sucks every day.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/navy-seal-david-goggins-jesse-itzler-zico-entrepreneur-sucks-2017-6#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> https://www.insider.com/parents-control-their-kids-in-2-ways-and-only-one-is-good-for-them-2017-3Parents 'control' their children in one of 2 ways — and only one leads to happier kidshttps://www.insider.com/parents-control-their-kids-in-2-ways-and-only-one-is-good-for-them-2017-3
Sun, 19 Mar 2017 11:00:00 -0400Jeff Haden
<p><img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/58cf0ebbdd0895cc518b4763-850/8590566499ba73e3bd9co.jpg" alt="father dad child fatherhood parent kid" data-mce-source="Claudia Heidelberger/Flickr" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/claudiasimsphotography/8590566499/in/photolist-e67U8v-f68Bpn-AAeuX-hYcJK8-7U5Umr-5QayJ-6cGzSB-qbsF4N-89nZwm-7Asu4t-5rVH9K-ccPHVw-6cLJ5q-9aLAE1-wcvM7R-sC5yW-6TSaPU-sC5yN-68GujT-a55wx-fYb9a-oA6say-4U5mpN-2YVnk-4DKgdY-9ZYWyn-6eUke3-8vhq77-4eBZB5-4vsu8G-7ruzDE-5h1jLD-aF8s8G-8gCRjv-7nvXkn-Au8em-pGVNM-nbpGDX-hYaGrT-qb9fY6-S6RvQ-6QeGEz-7L2LTy-raoZFh-mzk1M8-7TmMk9-vDgtN-s7bTC-s7bTg-oSzNHH"></p><p>Want your kids to be happier kids? More important, want your children to grow up to be happier and more satisfied for the rest of their lives?</p>
<p><a href="http://www.research.ed.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/parentchild-relationships-and-offsprings-positive-mental-wellbeing-from-adolescence-to-early-older-age(5f5cdffa-b169-4350-a471-2128eaad405e).html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">A study from University College London</a> found that people who perceived their parents as less psychologically controlling and more caring as they were growing up were likely to be happier and more satisfied as adults.</p>
<p>On the flip side, the people whose parents applied greater psychological control as they were growing up exhibited significantly lower mental well-being throughout their adult lives; in fact, the effect was judged to be similar to the recent death of a close friend or relative.</p>
<p>According to Mai Stafford, the lead author of the study:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;">"We found that people whose parents showed warmth and responsiveness had higher life satisfaction and better mental wellbeing throughout early, middle and late adulthood. By contrast, psychological control was significantly associated with lower life satisfaction and mental wellbeing. Examples of psychological control include not allowing children to make their own decisions, invading their privacy and fostering dependence."</p>
<p>Psychological control differs from behavioral control. Behavioral control includes things like setting curfews, assigning chores, and expecting homework to be completed.</p>
<p>Behavioral control was determined when respondents disagreed with statements like "Gave me as much freedom as I wanted" and "Let me go out as often as I wanted." While that might sound psychologically controlling, it's not. Those parents set limits on certain types of behaviors — but not on feelings.</p>
<p>Psychological control involves not letting kids make some of their own decisions, not allowing privacy, and encouraging feelings of dependence.</p>
<p>Psychological control was determined when respondents agreed with statements like "Tried to control everything I did" and "Tried to make me feel dependent on her/him."</p>
<p>If the difference still seems fuzzy, here's an <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201210/is-your-parenting-psychologically-controlling" target="_blank">explanation from Nancy Darling</a>:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Behavioral control </strong>refers to the extent to which parents ask kids to constrain their behavior to meet the needs of others. Strictness is one way to think about it, but I think it is better conceptualized as the parents' expectation that the child conform to high standards — especially when it's difficult. It also captures the extent to which parents follow through on rules they set.</li>
<li><strong>Psychological control</strong> is the extent to which parents try to control the child's emotional state or beliefs. For example, they may use guilt induction or make the child feel that they won't be loved if they don't do what parents want. The core of psychological control is that it assaults the child's self.</li>
</ul>
<p>"We know from other studies," says Stafford, "that if a child shares a secure emotional attachment with their parents, they are better able to form secure attachments in adult life. Parents also give us a stable base from which to explore the world, while warmth and responsiveness has been shown to promote social and emotional development. By contrast, psychological control can limit a child's independence and leave them less able to regulate their own behavior."</p>
<p>What can you do to show that you care? What can you do to maintain some degree of behavioral control without straying into the psychological control zone?</p>
<p>In the study, "caring" was measured by agreement with statements like "Appeared to understand my problems and worries" and "Was affectionate to me."</p>
<p>That should be easy.</p>
<p>Then feel free to set limits you feel are appropriate. Feel free to have expectations. But then go one step farther: Talk about why you set those limits and why you have those expectations. Then allow your kids to talk, and make sure you listen. You may be able to control certain behaviors, but you can't control every opinion — so don't try. Show that even though you might disagree, you still respect their right to see things differently. Showing respect is a great way to show you care.</p>
<p>And make sure you let your kids make as many of their own decisions as you can. The best way to learn to make smart choices — and to take responsibility for our actions — is to start early.</p>
<p>After all, your ultimate goal is to raise them to be successful and independent adults — because that's a great recipe for happiness and satisfaction.</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/parents-control-their-kids-in-2-ways-and-only-one-is-good-for-them-2017-3#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-athletes-will-train-in-the-future-2019-5">How athletes will train in the future</a></p> https://www.insider.com/the-problem-with-goals-2017-3A top psychologist says there's a huge misconception about setting goalshttps://www.insider.com/the-problem-with-goals-2017-3
Mon, 13 Mar 2017 11:41:00 -0400Chris Weller
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static3.insider.com/image/58c6bdfbdd08951f3d8b4ce4-2400/undefined" alt="gym weight loss" data-mce-source="Rick Wilking / Reuters"></p><p>Psychologist Adam Alter doesn't mince words when it comes to the idea of setting goals.</p>
<p>"I think goals are inherently a broken concept in a lot of respects," Alter, author of the new book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Irresistible-Addictive-Technology-Business-Keeping/dp/1594206643/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1489085922&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=irresistible&amp;tag=bisafetynet-20">"Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked,"</a> tells Business Insider.</p>
<p>"Irresistible" reveals the myriad ways smartphone apps and games hijack our brains, and how they get us to act against our own interests. In the book, Alter suggests that clinicians have seen a steep rise in cases in which people have pushed themselves too hard for the sake of attaining a number on a smartwatch.</p>
<p><span>Alter blames goals.</span></p>
<p>"The nature of a goal is such that you have, for most of the time, effectively a failure state where you're not achieving whatever that goal is," Alter says. "And that's aversive. That feels pretty bad to most people."</p>
<p>Even if you ultimately reach your goal — be it walking 10,000 steps per day, running a marathon, or learning an instrument — you've still spent almost all of your time <em>not</em> hitting the target.</p>
<p>According to Alter, that failure state can quickly turn people off from pursuing the goal they've set. What's more, once a goal is reached, the feeling of joy is often fleeting. People feel a rush of happiness, but it quickly fades as a new goal creeps into focus.</p>
<p>"It's very common for people when they achieve a lofty goal to say, 'I don't know what happened, but I felt much less happy than I expected to,'" Alter says.</p>
<p>He is not suggesting that people avoid challenging themselves to improve. Alter pushes for a different kind of achievement, which emphasizes creating systems instead of a long-range target. As Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/biggest-goal-setting-mistake-amy-cuddy-2016-8">has said in the past</a>, the idea is to make goals as bite-sized and task-specific as possible.</p>
<p>Say you're writing a book. Your goal might be to write the book and have it published. That's all well and good, Alter says, but the way to ensure you'll actually produce that book is to have a <em>system</em> for writing it.</p>
<p>"The system would be that in the morning every day, the first thing I do is write five-hundred words," Alter says. "It doesn't matter if they're good words or bad words, but a lot of people who write practice that sort of thing."</p>
<p>The benefit of Alter's approach is twofold. You aren't dealing with a fuzzy, long-range projection, and you also get consistent positive feedback, since you're hitting concrete benchmarks on a regular basis.</p>
<p>"It's just a thing that you do. It's a habit," Alter says. "And that habit is very different from that long-range, very amorphous thing that you have when you say 'I'm going to write 100,000 words within six months, or whatever.' It tends to be much healthier."</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/the-problem-with-goals-2017-3#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/psychologist-explains-how-tell-love-romance-dating-ready-committed-relationship-2017-1">A psychologist explains how to tell if you're ready for a committed relationship</a></p> https://www.insider.com/the-disease-of-more-could-be-keeping-you-from-feeling-successful-2017-3A psychological phenomenon discovered by an NBA coach could keep you from being successfulhttps://www.insider.com/the-disease-of-more-could-be-keeping-you-from-feeling-successful-2017-3
Thu, 09 Mar 2017 12:51:00 -0500Mark Manson
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static3.insider.com/image/58c19486dd0895f9388b4bc9-1129/ap060510029220.jpg" alt="Pat Riley and Dwyane Wade" data-mce-source="J. Pat Carter/AP"></p><p></p>
<p><span>Success is often the first step toward disaster. The idea of progress is often the enemy of actual progress.</span></p>
<p>I recently met a guy who, despite having a massively successful business, an awesome lifestyle, a&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/healthy-relationships" target="_blank">happy relationship</a>, and a great network of friends, told me with a straight face, that he was thinking of hiring a coach to help him "reach the next level."&nbsp;</p>
<p>When I asked him what this elusive next level was, he said he wasn't sure, that that's why he needed a coach, to point out his blind spots and show him what he's missing out on.&nbsp;</p>
<p>"Oh," I said. And then stood there awkwardly for a moment, gauging how brutally honest I was willing to be with someone I just met. This guy was very enthusiastic, clearly ready to spend a lot of money on whatever problem someone decided to tell him he had.&nbsp;</p>
<p>"But what if there's nothing to fix?" I said.&nbsp;</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" he asked.&nbsp;</p>
<p>"What if there is no 'next level?' What if it's just an idea you made up in your head? What if you're already there and not only are you not recognizing it, but by constantly pursuing something more, you're preventing yourself from appreciating it and enjoying where you are now?"&nbsp;</p>
<p>He bristled a bit at my questions. Finally, he said, "I just feel like I&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/prove-yourself" target="_blank">need to always be improving myself</a>, no matter what."&nbsp;</p>
<p>"And that, my friend, might actually&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/stop-trying-to-be-happy" target="_blank">be the problem</a>."&nbsp;</p>
<p>There's a famous concept in sports known as the "Disease of More." It was originally coined by Pat Riley, a hall of fame coach who has led six teams to NBA championships (and won one as a player himself).&nbsp;</p>
<p>Riley said that the Disease of More explains why teams who win championships are often ultimately dethroned, not by other, better teams, but by forces from within the organization itself.&nbsp;Riley said the 1980 Lakers didn't get back to the finals the next year because everyone became too focused on themselves.</p>
<p>The players, like most people, want more. At first, that "more" was winning the championship. But once players have that championship, it's no longer enough. The "more" becomes other things — more money, more TV commercials, more endorsements and accolades, more playing time, more plays called for them, more media attention, etc.&nbsp;</p>
<p>As a result, what was once a cohesive group of hardworking men begins to fray. Egos get involved. Gatorade bottles are thrown. And the psychological composition of the team changes — what was once a perfect chemistry of bodies and minds becomes a toxic, atomized mess. Players feel entitled to ignore the small, unsexy tasks that actually win championships, believing that they've earned the right to not do it anymore. And as a result, what was the most talented team, ends up failing.&nbsp;</p>
<h2>More is not always better</h2>
<p>Psychologists didn't always study&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/how-to-be-happy" target="_blank">happiness</a>. In fact, for most of the field's history, psychology focused not on the positive, but on what f-----&nbsp;people up, what caused mental illness and emotional breakdowns and how people should cope with their greatest pains.&nbsp;</p>
<p>It wasn't until the 1980s that a few intrepid academics started asking themselves, "Wait a second, my job is kind of a downer. What about what makes people happy? Let's study that instead!" And there was much celebration because soon dozens of "happiness" books would proliferate bookshelves, selling millions of copies to bored, angsty middle-class people with existential crises.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But I'm getting ahead of myself.&nbsp;</p>
<p>One of the first things psychologists did to study happiness was a simple survey. They took large groups of people and gave them pagers (remember, this was the 80s and 90s), and whenever the pager went off, each person was to stop and write down two things:&nbsp;</p>
<ol>
<li>On a scale from 1-10, how happy are you at this moment?</li>
<li>What has been going on in your life to cause these feelings?&nbsp;</li>
</ol>
<p>They collected thousands of ratings from hundreds of people from all walks of life. And what they discovered was both surprising, and actually, incredibly boring.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Pretty much everybody wrote '7,' like, all the time, no matter what.&nbsp;</p>
<p>At the grocery store buying milk. Seven. Attending my son's baseball game. Seven. Talking to my boss about making a big sale to a client. Seven.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Even when catastrophic stuff did happen — mom got cancer, missed a mortgage payment on the house, junior lost an arm in a freak bowling accident — happiness levels would dip to the 2-5 range for a short period, and then, after a certain amount of time, promptly return to seven.&nbsp;</p>
<p>This was true for extremely positive events as well. Lottery winners, dream vacations, marriages, people's ratings would shoot up for a short period of time, and then, predictably, settle back in around seven.&nbsp;</p>
<p>This fascinated psychologists. Nobody is fully happy all the time. But similarly, nobody is fully unhappy all the time either. It seems that humans, regardless of our external circumstances, live in a constant state of mild-but-not-fully-satisfying happiness. Put another way, things are pretty much always fine. But they could also always be better.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But this constant seven&nbsp;that we're all more or less always coming back to, it plays a little trick on us. And it's a trick that we all fall for over and over again.&nbsp;</p>
<p>The trick is that our brain tells us, "You know, if I could just have a little bit more, I'd finally get to 10 and stay there."&nbsp;</p>
<p>Most of us live most of our lives this way. Constantly chasing our imagined 10.&nbsp;</p>
<p>You think to be happier, you need to get a new job, so you get a new job. And then a few months later, you feel like you'd be happier if you had a new house. So you get a new house.</p>
<p>And then a few months later, it's an awesome beach vacation, so you go on an awesome beach vacation, and while you're on the awesome beach on your awesome beach vacation, you're like, "YOU KNOW WHAT I F------ NEED? A GODDAMN PIÑA COLADA? CAN'T A F----- GET A PIÑA COLADA AROUND HERE?"</p>
<p>And so you stress about your piña colada, believing that just one piña colada will get you to your 10. But then it's a second piña colada. And then a third. And then … well, you know how this turns out. You wake up with a hangover and are at a three.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But that's OK.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Because you know that soon you'll be back at that seven.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Some psychologists call this constant chasing of pleasure the "hedonic treadmill" because people who are&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/you-cant-have-it-all" target="_blank">constantly striving for a "better life"</a>&nbsp;end up expending a ton of effort only to end up in the same place.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But wait … I know what you're saying:</p>
<p><em>W-T-F, Mark. Does this mean that there's no point in doing anything?</em></p>
<p>No, it means that we need to be motivated in life by something more than our own happiness. It means that we have to be driven by something greater than ourselves.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Otherwise, you will simply run and run towards some vision of your own glory and improvement, towards your perfect 10, all the while feeling as though you're in the same place. Or worse, like Riley's championship teams, slowly undermining what got you there to begin with.&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Self-improvement as a glorified hobby</h2>
<p>Back in my early 20s, when I was what I would characterize as a "<a href="https://markmanson.net/self-help" target="_blank">self-help junkie</a>," one of my favorite rituals every year was to sit down around new years and spend hours mapping out my&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/goals" target="_blank">life goals</a>, my vision for myself, and all of the amazing s---&nbsp;I was going to do to get myself there.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I would spend hours analyzing my desires and values and end up with a sexy and impressive-sounding list of largely-arbitrary goals, filled with stuff like taking a bongo class or making a certain amount of money or finally nailing that ever-elusive six-pack.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But I eventually learned that the funny thing about self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement is that it doesn't inherently mean anything. It's just a glorified hobby. It's something to keep you occupied and to enthusiastically discuss with other people who have the same hobby.&nbsp;</p>
<p>It took me a long time to accept the fact that just because something&nbsp;<em>can be improved&nbsp;</em>in my life, does not mean that it&nbsp;<em>should be improved</em>&nbsp;in my life.</p>
<p>The improvement is not the problem, it's the WHY that's motivating the improvement that matters. When one compulsively looks to improve oneself, without any greater cause or reason driving it other than self-aggrandizement, it leads to a life of immense self-preoccupation, a light and beneficent form of narcissism where one's constant attention and focus is on oneself.&nbsp;</p>
<p>And ironically, this will probably make your life worse off.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Years ago, a friend of mine once told me: "The best decision I ever made in my life was to join a support group. Three years later, the best decision I ever made in my life was to stop attending my support group."&nbsp;</p>
<p>I think the same principle is true with all forms of self-improvement. Self-improvement tools should be used like bandages, only to be opened and applied when something is hurt or seriously wrong, and with the goal always being to eventually remove them.&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Life is not a game of improvement,&nbsp;but rather a game of tradeoffs</h2>
<p>I think many people see life in terms of linear growth and improvement. This is probably only true when you're young.&nbsp;</p>
<p>As a kid, your knowledge and understanding of the world grow massively each year. As a young adult, your opportunities and skills grow rapidly as well.&nbsp;</p>
<p>But once you hit adulthood, once you're established and have developed expertise in certain areas, because you've already invested so much time and mental energy into your skills and assets, life is no longer simply a question of improvement, but&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/you-cant-have-it-all" target="_blank">rather of trade-off</a>.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I've spent 10 years developing my ability as a writer. I've managed to conjure a successful writing career for myself. If I turned around and wanted to become a DJ, on the one hand, you could argue, I'm "improving" myself, by expanding my talents and skill set, but to put the hundreds of hours to become competent at an entirely new artistic endeavor would force me to give up some opportunities as a writer.</p>
<p>That 500 hours or whatever is necessary to DJ competently could be spent writing&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/books/subtle-art" target="_blank">another book</a>, starting a column at a prestigious magazine, or simply s-------&nbsp;out a bunch more of these blog posts.</p>
<p>The same was true with the NBA players who won championships. In their eyes, they were just moving up in the world. Yesterday, they won their first championship. Today, they're getting more commercials, a better locker, a big, brand new house.&nbsp;</p>
<p>What they didn't realize is what they were trading off. Their time and energy, now occupied by all sorts of new luxuries, was no longer able to focus on the nitty-gritty of basketball. And as a team, they suffered.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Which brings me back to the guy in search of a coach I met a couple weeks ago.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Ultimately, my advice to him was simply to be careful. Be careful with the drive to improve for the sake of improvement, the desire for more for no other reason than it's more. Be&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/dreams" target="_blank">careful adopting new dreams and goals</a>&nbsp;that could harm the success and happiness you've already built for yourself today.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Or as the cliche goes, be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="https://markmanson.net/four-stages-of-life" target="_blank">Life is not a checklist</a>. It's not a mountain to scale. It's not golf game or a beer commercial or whatever other cheesy analogy you want to insert here.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Life is a game of tradeoffs. And you must eventually&nbsp;<a href="https://markmanson.net/find-what-you-love" target="_blank">choose what you're willing to trade</a>&nbsp;based on what you value. And if you're not careful with your values, if you are willing to trade things away for the sake of another hit of dopamine, another temporary trip to your own personal psychological 10, then chances are you're going to f---&nbsp;things up.&nbsp;</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/the-disease-of-more-could-be-keeping-you-from-feeling-successful-2017-3#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/we-searched-for-the-best-fish-and-chips-in-london-2019-4">We searched for the best fish and chips in London — here's who came out on top</a></p> https://www.insider.com/make-every-aspect-of-your-life-better-by-sending-5-simple-emails-2017-2Make every aspect of your life better by sending 5 simple emailshttps://www.insider.com/make-every-aspect-of-your-life-better-by-sending-5-simple-emails-2017-2
Sun, 26 Feb 2017 13:00:00 -0500Eric Barker
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static6.insider.com/image/58b3183bdd0895183b8b4844-1155/undefined" alt="texting" data-mce-source="Flickr/Garry Knight" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/garryknight/16666635654/" /></p><p>I&rsquo;ve covered a lot of research on how to make your life better but many people struggle with implementing changes because it seems like a major undertaking. It doesn&rsquo;t have to be.</p>
<p>You can make strides in 5 fundamental areas by just sending 5 emails.&nbsp;</p>
<h2>1. Happiness</h2>
<p>Every morning send a friend, family member or co-worker an email to say thanks for something.</p>
<p>Might sound silly but it&rsquo;s actually excellent advice on how to make your life better.</p>
<p>There&rsquo;s <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/04/how-to-quickly-and-easiy-feel-happier-and-mor/" target="_blank">tons</a> and <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/08/can-writing-make-you-happier/" target="_blank">tons</a> and <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/what-are-quick-little-things-you-can-do-to-in/" target="_blank">tons</a> of research showing that over time, this alone &ndash; one silly email a day &ndash; can make you happier.</p>
<p>Via Harvard professor Shawn Achor&rsquo;s&nbsp;<a href="http://buy.geni.us/Proxy.ashx?TSID=21272&amp;GR_URL=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F2bom1ak&amp;dtb=1" target="_blank">The Happiness Advantage:</a></p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;">This is why I often ask managers to write an e-mail of praise or thanks to a friend, family member, or colleague each morning before they start their day&rsquo;s work&mdash;not just because it contributes to their own happiness, but because it very literally cements a relationship.</p>
<p>(More on <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y/" target="_blank">increasing happiness here</a>.)</p>
<h2>2. Job</h2>
<p>At the end of the week, send your boss an email and sum up what you&rsquo;ve accomplished.</p>
<p>They probably have no idea what you&rsquo;re doing with your time. They&rsquo;re busy. They have their own problems.</p>
<p>For your boss, this let&rsquo;s them know what you&rsquo;ve been up to without having to ask and saves them from wondering and worrying. They&rsquo;ll appreciate it and probably come to rely on it.</p>
<p>For you, it&rsquo;s proactive and shows off your efforts, which <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-stanford-mba-school-professor-teaches-secret-promotions-raises-power/" target="_blank">Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer says is the key to success</a> in any organization:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;">&hellip;you should make sure that your performance is visible to your boss and your accomplishments are visible.&nbsp;Your superiors in the organization have their own jobs, are managing their own careers, are busy human beings. &nbsp;And you should not assume that they&rsquo;re spending all their time thinking about you and worrying about you and your career.</p>
<p>More on <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/checklist-effective-work/" target="_blank">improving your work life here</a>.</p>
<h2>3. Growth</h2>
<p>Once a week email a potential mentor.</p>
<p>Doesn&rsquo;t have to be related to your job. Who do you admire that you could learn from?</p>
<p>As I&rsquo;ve blogged about before, <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/02/find-best-mentor/">mentors are key to success</a>.</p>
<p>Via&nbsp;<a href="http://buy.geni.us/Proxy.ashx?TSID=21272&amp;GR_URL=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F2bVjUHR&amp;dtb=1" target="_blank">The Genius in All of Us: New Insights into Genetics, Talent, and IQ</a>:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;">Any person lucky enough to have had one great teacher who inspired, advised, critiqued, and had endless faith in her student&rsquo;s ability will tell you what a difference that person has made in her life. &ldquo;Most students who become interested in an&nbsp;academic subject do so because they have met a teacher who was able to pique their interest,&rdquo; write Csikszentmih&aacute;lyi, Rathunde, and Whalen.&nbsp;It is yet another great irony of the giftedness myth: in the final analysis, the true road to success lies not in a person&rsquo;s molecular structure, but in his developing the most productive attitudes and identifying magnificent external resources.</p>
<p>This is one of those things everyone seems to know but nobody does anything about.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s the age of the internet, folks. If you have Google and half an ounce of resourcefulness it&rsquo;s not that hard to find almost anyone&rsquo;s email address. If they have a website, their email is probably listed on it.</p>
<p>What do you write? Try <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130624114114-69244073-6-ways-to-get-me-to-email-you-back" target="_blank">Adam&rsquo;s method</a>&nbsp;or <a href="http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2008/05/19/5-tips-for-e-mailing-busy-people/" target="_blank">Tim&rsquo;s method</a>&nbsp;or <a href="http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/video-how-to-use-natural-networking-to-connect-with-anyone/" target="_blank">Ramit&rsquo;s method</a>.</p>
<p>(More on the <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/02/find-best-mentor/" target="_blank">power of mentors here</a>.)</p>
<h2>4. Friendship</h2>
<p>Email a good friend and make plans.</p>
<p>What does research say keeps friendships alive? <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/12/what-keeps-friendships-alive/" target="_blank">Staying in touch every 2 weeks</a>.</p>
<p>Got 14 friends? Then you need to be emailing somebody every day.</p>
<p>And what should you email them about? Make plans to get together.</p>
<p>Research shows <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/how-you-can-use-technology-to-make-you-happie/" target="_blank">the best use of electronic communication is to facilitate face-to-face interaction</a>:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;">The results were unequivocal. &ldquo;The greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely you are,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;The greater the proportion of online interactions, the lonelier you are.&rdquo;&nbsp;Surely, I suggest to&nbsp;Cacioppo, this means that Facebook and the like inevitably make people lonelier. He disagrees.Facebook is merely a tool, he says, and like any tool, its effectiveness will depend on its user. &ldquo;If you use Facebook to increase face-to-face contact,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;it increases social capital.&rdquo; So if social media let you organize a game of football among your friends, that&rsquo;s healthy. If you turn to social media instead of playing football, however, that&rsquo;s unhealthy.</p>
<p>(More on <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-friendships/" target="_blank">improving friendships here</a>.)</p>
<h2>5. Career</h2>
<p>Send an email to someone you know (but don&rsquo;t know very well) and check in.</p>
<p>These &ldquo;weak ties&rdquo; are the primary source of future career opportunities.</p>
<p>From Charles Duhigg&rsquo;s excellent book&nbsp;<a href="http://buy.geni.us/Proxy.ashx?TSID=21272&amp;GR_URL=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F2bUyvo7&amp;dtb=1" target="_blank">The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>In fact,&nbsp;in landing a job, Granovetter discovered, weak-tie acquaintances were often more important than strong-tie friends because weak ties give us access to social networks where we don&rsquo;t otherwise belong.&nbsp;Many of the people Granovetter studied had learned about new job opportunities through weak ties, rather than from close friends, which makes sense because&nbsp;we talk to our closest friends all the time, or work alongside them or read the same blogs. By the time they have heard about a new opportunity, we probably know about it, as well. On the other hand, our weak-tie acquaintances&mdash; the people we bump into every six months&mdash; are the ones who tell us about jobs we&nbsp;would otherwise never hear about.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><em>&ldquo;But I don&rsquo;t know what to say.&rdquo;</em>&nbsp; Do any little thing that benefits them, not you. Try <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-wharton-business-school-professor-teaches-approach-give/" target="_blank">Adam Rifkin&rsquo;s 5 minute favor</a>.</p>
<p>Or just send them a link they might find useful.</p>
<p>Still stuck? Okay, send them the link to the post you&rsquo;re reading right now.</p>
<p>If this has helped you with how to make your life better it can probably help them too.&nbsp;&nbsp;;)</p>
<p>(More on <a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/how-to-network/" target="_blank">how to network effectively here</a>.)</p>
<p><strong>Join over 262,000 readers.&nbsp;Get a free weekly update via email&nbsp;<a href="http://eepurl.com/o6uAD" target="_blank">here</a>.</strong></p>
<p><span>Related posts:</span></p>
<p><a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/" target="_blank">How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/09/make-you-happy-2/" target="_blank">New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/" target="_blank">New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/make-every-aspect-of-your-life-better-by-sending-5-simple-emails-2017-2#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/25-artists-taking-tattoos-to-the-next-level-art-design-2019-5">25 artists taking tattoos to the next level</a></p> https://www.insider.com/learn-piano-as-an-adult-how-to-twenties-new-years-resolution-2016-12What learning piano in my twenties taught me — and why you should try ithttps://www.insider.com/learn-piano-as-an-adult-how-to-twenties-new-years-resolution-2016-12
Thu, 29 Dec 2016 04:19:54 -0500Rob Price
<p><img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5864d55fdd08953f208b4b81-2400/3083685591cfb8b82e4o.jpg" alt="sheet music piano keyboard" data-mce-source="Joe Shlabotnik/Flickr (CC)" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotnik/308368559/"></p><p></p>
<p>When I was about seven or eight, I went for a taster violin lesson at school. The idea was to get an idea for the instrument, and see if I wanted to learn properly. I enjoyed it — but the expected lessons never materialised.</p>
<p>A few years later, I asked my mother why: Apparently the tutor had refused to teach me.</p>
<p>It's fair to say that I am not a natural musician.</p>
<p>But at the start of 2016, I resolved to change that. I decided to learn the piano.</p>
<p>It was a year of immense frustrations, and deep satisfaction — and endless Philip Glass. It expanded my horizons, and forced me to confront my failings head on. And for that reason alone, I'd recommend it to anyone. </p>
<h2>Why? I wanted to do something totally new</h2>
<p>I'm 24 years old, I live in London, and I've gone through life without knowing the first thing about music. I love to listen to it — I've got a pretty big collection and I go to gigs regularly. But how it's made has always been one great big opaque mystery to me.</p>
<p>Both of my brothers play — saxophone and guitar, respectively — but the extent of my musical education was tapping out basic beats on a glockenspiel and learning the first few bars of "Neighbours" on the piano at school. So why did I take the plunge now? Well, there were a few reasons:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<strong>I wanted to challenge myself. </strong>2016 was the start of my third year living in London. I'd settled into a routine, and wanted to add some variety to my life — and something that would push me in a new direction.</li>
<li>
<strong>I wanted to do something <em>totally</em> new</strong>. Learning music for the first time isn't like taking up a new team ball-sport, or an unusual arts-and-crafts activity. Music is an entirely new category of human endeavour I have never meaningfully engaged in before. That makes it pretty exciting — and intimidating.</li>
<li>
<strong>I love music.</strong> Pretty self-explanatory. I hoped that learning an instrument for the first time would enrich my appreciation of the artform.</li>
</ul>
<p>I also set myself a few goals — some strict, and some more nebulous.</p>
<ul>
<li>
<strong>Pass my Grade 1 piano exam by the end of 2016.</strong> If you're not familiar with the system, you can take exams as you learn instruments, from Grade 1 through to Grade 8. A clear target of reaching Grade 1 by the end of the year would give me something to work towards, a way to measure my success or failure.</li>
<li>
<strong>Improve my knowledge of classical music.</strong> I had no strict timeframe for this, or a set point when it would be "completed." But I've never known my Bach from my Beethoven, and I wanted to change that.</li>
<li>
<strong>Learn "Metamorphosis II," by Philip Glass.</strong> This was a longer-term goal, beyond 2016 — it's a beautiful, flowing, and technically tricky bit of music that I wanted to work towards as I got better.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/FH55ordbsR8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
</div>
<p>How did it all go? The short version is that it was fantastic — I'm extremely glad I did it, and I'd strongly urge to anyone thinking about taking up an instrument to do it, whatever your age.</p>
<p>It wasn't all plain sailing, however.</p>
<h2>Learning something new is a lesson in humility and patience</h2>
<p><em>Note: The following sections go into some detail on what and how I learned. If you just want to know whether I passed the exam or not, skip down to the "arcane mystery" section below.</em></p>
<p>Piano is hard. Really hard. It requires you to think in a way you've never done before, juggling a thousand balls simultaneously. Interpret the music. Keep the tempo. Vary the volume. Move both hands independently of one-another. Make sure it all actually sounds good.</p>
<p>You know that brain-straining feeling when you try and multiply three three-digit numbers together? That's what it felt like to be interpreting and playing music on the fly.</p>
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5864d55fdd08953f208b4b82-2400/388c268faf7544598bd05921313da25712075.jpg" alt="yamaha p45 electric piano keyboard stand" data-mce-source="Yamaha" data-mce-caption="The Yamaha P45.">To learn, I bought myself a new Yamaha P45 electric piano to learn on. (It goes for £350 in the UK, and $400 in the US.) I needed something with a full 88-key keyboard (like a traditional acoustic piano), touch-sensitive weighted keys (so it actually sounds and feels like a piano), and I didn't care about fancy voices and modes.</p>
<p>I also decided when I began that I was prepared to invest real time and money into this, and pay for a tutor to give me lessons on a (near-)weekly basis. This obviously isn't an option for everyone. But having a tutor means you get expert guidance and avoid learning bad habits — and I'm very glad I did it. For me at least, learning independently would have been far more difficult and infuriating. If you care about something, invest in it.</p>
<p>Though I had committed to learning piano by the end of 2015, an accident involving a very sharp knife and my thumb meant I was only in a position to buy the piano and start learning at the end of January 2016. For the first week or two, I tried learning using Yousician, a freemium app that can teach you piano and other instruments. It was better than nothing — but it was also limited, and I quickly began looking for a human tutor.</p>
<p>My first songs were simple, five-note affairs: "When The Saints Go Marching In" was a particular favourite. But an early frustration was the basic-ness of the stuff I was playing, often simplified versions of popular songs. I wanted to be better than I was. I wanted to play stuff I wasn't capable of.</p>
<p>In that sense, it was a lesson in patience and humility. It's increasingly rare that I go into something completely blind, starting from first principles. You gravitate towards fields and pursuits you're good at, and away from those you're not. Learning piano forced me to face my ineptitude head on, and try to change it.</p>
<p>Slowly and surely, I improved — and it made a world of difference when I could begin playing stuff that didn't feel dumbed-down. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSmXAG2mYY4">John Cage's "In A Landscape"</a> is haunting, and relatively technically simple. And Philip Glass's Metamorphosis II is actually very manageable, <a href="https://youtu.be/FH55ordbsR8?t=2m19s">before the rapid-fire arpeggios begin</a>. Without a doubt I've played it more than anything else in my repertoire — to my flatmates' resigned amusement.</p>
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<p><em>Can you hear the mistake? <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa3CIMEYdXo">Here's a live version of the full song</a>. The finger-melting arpeggios start around the two-minute-thirty mark.</em></p>
<p>I expect I could have progressed faster had I applied myself more. Lessons, nominally once a week, sometimes happened much less frequently, and I had a gap of a month or two during the summer when I didn't play at all.</p>
<p>But in the early Autumn, I agreed to try for Grade 1 before the end of the year — and that's when it got frantic.</p>
<h2>I forgot how much I hate exams</h2>
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5864d55fdd08953f208b4b7f-1200/screen%20shot%202016-12-28%20at%20154748.png" alt="piano music rob price keyboard" data-mce-source="Rob Price/BI">Exams! Studying! Tests! Revising! I thought I'd left this all behind when I left university.</p>
<p>Music exams are set and administered by external exam board organisations (I went with ABRSM). It involved learning and performing three pieces from a selection available, memorising scales and broken chords, doing sight-reading, and an aural test (listening to music, identifying traits, and singing it back as an "echo.")</p>
<p>In short, it aims to test the full range of skills required for you to be considered "good" at playing a given instrument.</p>
<p>It's all scored out of 150. You need 100 or more to pass, with 120 to 130 considered a "merit," and 130 above classified as a "distinction," the highest grade. The lion's share of the marks come from the three prepared pieces, worth up to 30 each, with the other three around 20 each.</p>
<p>After agreeing to take the test, I quickly realised I was nowhere near ready. My tutor must've rescheduled it at least half a dozen times to give me more time to prepare, and I was practicing morning-and-evening by the end to try and get up to speed.</p>
<p>I ended up taking it in the first week of December — the last week available to do it before Christmas. I turned up with only minutes before it began, butchered the sight-reading, and actually felt my hands shaking at one point while performing. Not a great experience.</p>
<p>So, how did I do?</p>
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<p>The Lincolnshire Poacher, above, was one of my exam pieces. Playing from memory without the sheet music in front of me, I'm wobbly on one or two bits.</p>
<h2>Music is an arcane mystery I wanted to unravel</h2>
<p>Part of the allure of learning music for me was the arcane mystery of it all. From the outside, the rules of music bear to no discernible relation to the "real" world. It has no clear grounding in scientific thought. Why are there only seven notes? Why is it written the way it is? Why do some notes have sharps or flats, and others don't? Why are some combinations of notes good, and others bad? Why is everything in Italian?</p>
<p>And yet somehow, it all comes together, like nothing else on earth. Like <em>magic</em>.</p>
<p>However I did in the exam, I knew that I'd made a little progress down this new road. I had learned the basics of a beautiful alchemy, of organic aural creation.</p>
<p>At least, that's what I told myself as I anxiously waited for my tutor to get back to me with the results.</p>
<p>After two long weeks of waiting, I finally got a text on Wednesday December 21, 2016. I passed!</p>
<p>In the end I did rather better than I thought would be, scoring 126, a merit. Even my sight-reading — which I had thought was diabolical, out-of-time, and incorrect — scored 16/21.</p>
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<p>Na Krmitku, by Czech composer Petr Eben. This was my best exam piece — I scored 28/30.</p>
<h2>I've got a long way to go — but I'm proud of what I achieved</h2>
<p>All my life, I've loved drawing and painting. As such, I'm pretty good at it, and it rarely feels difficult. While I'm sure I struggled with it in the past, because I have two decades of experience to fall back on — much of it as a child — I can now produce relatively sophisticated pictures fairly easily. I don't really remember being "bad" at art.</p>
<p>Piano is not like that. I have to work at it constantly. I remember clearly when I sat in front of the keyboard, barely able to create a simple melody. Every plodding step and slow improvement I make, I have earned. And that makes it all the more satisfying.</p>
<p>Sure, I've got a long way to go until I'm as good as I want to be. Grade 1 is an exam more commonly associated with eight-year-olds than grown men. My rendition of "Metamorphosis II" is incomplete, and my education in classical music is still largely restricted to composers I have direct experience playing.</p>
<p>But I'm proud of what I accomplished, and I'd recommend it to anyone, regardless of age or ability. Take the plunge, you won't regret it.</p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/learn-piano-as-an-adult-how-to-twenties-new-years-resolution-2016-12#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/spider-man-far-from-home-trailer-details-you-missed-easter-eggs-2019-5">Everything you missed in the 'Spider-Man: Far from Home' trailer</a></p> https://www.insider.com/navy-seal-explains-how-get-better-every-day-david-goggins-2016-10A Navy SEAL told us why we should 'do something that sucks' every dayhttps://www.insider.com/navy-seal-explains-how-get-better-every-day-david-goggins-2016-10
Sun, 23 Oct 2016 12:23:00 -0400Joe Avella
<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Itzler">Jesse Itzler</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> felt he was in a rut. So he asked </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Goggins">Navy SEAL David Goggins</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> to live with him for 31 days, during which Jesse would do anything David told him to do.</span></p>
<p>Jesse would later write <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1455534676/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1455534676&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=thebusiinsi-20&amp;linkId=DW5QO7YFAPTN5BGW">"Living With A Seal"</a> documenting the grueling experience of getting whipped into shape by one of the toughest men on the planet. They ran through snow storms, jumped into a frozen lake, and did lots and lots of push-ups. </p>
<p>The adopted the philosophy "if it doesn't suck, we don't do it." David and Jesse explain in order to get better you need to constantly take yourself out of your comfort zone, or do something that sucks every day.</p>
<p><strong>Follow BI Video: </strong><a href="https://twitter.com/BI_Video" target="_blank">On Twitter</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/navy-seal-explains-how-get-better-every-day-david-goggins-2016-10#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> https://www.insider.com/self-improvement-fads-that-are-bogus-2016-7Most 'science-backed' productivity trends are useless, but here are the ones you should tryhttps://www.insider.com/self-improvement-fads-that-are-bogus-2016-7
Wed, 13 Jul 2016 10:14:00 -0400Erin Brodwin
<p><img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c02-1106/yoga-summer-times-square-nyc.jpg" alt="yoga summer times square nyc" data-mce-source="Mario Tama / Staff / Getty Images" /></p><p>Meditate. Doodle in an adult coloring book. Eat clean.&nbsp;</p>
<p>It&nbsp;can seem like there's a new trend aimed at making you slimmer, happier, or more productive every week. Most of them claim to be backed by psychological or physiological research, but many are not.</p>
<p>We created this list to help you sort out which tricks might be helpful and which ones are better ignored. Take a look.</p><p><strong>SEE ALSO:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.insider.com/mari-andrew-illustrator-truths-about-adulthood-2016-7" >15 hard truths about adulthood, from a 29-year-old illustrator who tells it like it is</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Follow INSIDER health&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/insiderhealth/" >on Facebook</a></strong></p>
<h3>Thinking positive to turn your dreams into reality: Skip it — studies suggest it may do the opposite.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/56c49cfadd0895b67f8b4768-400-300/thinking-positive-to-turn-your-dreams-into-reality-skip-it--studies-suggest-it-may-do-the-opposite.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>In her book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Positive-Thinking-Science-Motivation/dp/1591846870?tag=bisafetynet-20">"Rethinking Positive Thinking,"</a> psychologist Gabriele Oettingen proposes that while thinking optimistically sounds great on paper, it falls short in reality. People who daydream about a better world, she says, may end up merely fantasizing about a reality rather than taking concrete actions to make it happen.</p>
<p><a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF01173206">One study she coauthored</a> of women enrolled in a weight-reduction program found that those who thought more positively about their future outcomes tended to lose fewer pounds than those who thought more negatively about them.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Tidying up to be healthier: Try it — research backs it up.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c04-400-300/tidying-up-to-be-healthier-try-it--research-backs-it-up.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Some studies suggest that physical orderliness &mdash; a clean, neatly organized office, for example &mdash; may be linked with some positive outcomes, like eating healthier.</p>
<p>A <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2013/08/01/0956797613480186">2013 study</a>, for example, found that when they gave a set of volunteers in two types of rooms a choice between a chocolate bar and an apple, the people in a cluttered room were more likely to choose the chocolate. Those in the neat room were more likely to choose the apple. When the same participants were given the option to give money to charity, those in the orderly room tended to give more money than those in the disorderly room.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Taking multivitamins to avoid getting sick: Skip them; most of them don't work.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/55affc65dd08957f3b8b45ca-400-300/taking-multivitamins-to-avoid-getting-sick-skip-them-most-of-them-dont-work.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Decades of research has <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/do-i-need-to-take-vitamins">failed to find any substantial evidence</a> that the vast majority of vitamins and supplements do any significant good. Some of them might even be harming us. Several supplements have been linked with <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/antioxidant-supplements-are-probably-bad-for-you-2015-10">an increase in certain cancers</a>, for example, while others have been associated with a <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/5-steps-for-preventing-kidney-stones-201310046721">rise in the risk of kidney stones</a>. Still others have been tied to <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vitamin-e/NS_patient-vitamine/DSECTION=safety">an overall higher risk of death</a> from any cause.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Using astrology to boost your chances of success: Skip it — it's not scientific in the slightest.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c05-400-300/using-astrology-to-boost-your-chances-of-success-skip-it--its-not-scientific-in-the-slightest.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Horoscopes are carefully worded to be highly general, such as "You will face great difficulties ahead." Any result, from getting fired from your job to getting a raise, could be seen as fitting those expectations.</p>
<p>Yet they remain popular, something psychologists chalk up to something called the <a href="http://wayback.archive.org/web/20160305220420/http://apsychoserver.psych.arizona.edu/JJBAReprints/PSYC621/Forer_The%20fallacy%20of%20personal%20validation_1949.pdf">Forer Effect</a>, which explains why we're biased to see "personalized" results as accurate just because they seem unique tailored to fit us individually. In 1948, psychologist Bertram Forer gave his students a sham personality test but told them each "result" was personalized. When asked what they thought about the test, they estimated it was 85% accurate.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>'Clean' eating to lose weight: Skip it, and eat real food instead.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/56eefe67dd0895c5048b4576-400-300/clean-eating-to-lose-weight-skip-it-and-eat-real-food-instead.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>One of the problems with the #EatClean trend is that it implies that most of the foods ou there are somehow dirty or bad for you. Plus, food marketers have taken advantage of "clean" labels to argue that their trendy products, like agave or coconut oil, are superior to traditional ingredients like plain old sugar or olive oil. And <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/crazy-celebrity-diets-and-some-that-are-ok">that's just not true</a> <em>(Olive oil is higher in healthier unsaturated fats than coconut oil, for example, and agave gets broken down the exact same way as sugar in the body)</em>.</p>
<p>Instead, in <a href="http://michaelpollan.com/articles-archive/unhappy-meals/">the words of food writer Michael Pollan</a>, "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Low-fat diets to lose weight: Skip them — they don't work.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/57505837dd0895d3558b489d-400-300/low-fat-diets-to-lose-weight-skip-them--they-dont-work.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>It sounds like common sense: Eat less fat, be less fat. But in practice, the idea simply <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/you-are-what-you-eat-is-wrong-2015-7">doesn't work</a>. An <a href="http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/low-fat/">8-year trial involving almost 50,000 women</a>, roughly half of whom went on a low-fat diet, found that those on the low-fat plan didn't lower their risk of <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16467232?dopt=Citation">breast cancer</a>, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16467233?dopt=Citation">colorectal cancer</a>, or <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16467234?dopt=Citation">heart disease</a>. Plus, they <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16391215?dopt=Citation">didn't lose much weight, if any</a>.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Giving up alcohol for a month to help undo the damages of drinking: Try it — it might help.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c06-400-300/giving-up-alcohol-for-a-month-to-help-undo-the-damages-of-drinking-try-it--it-might-help.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>While there are very few studies looking at the benefits of abstaining from alcohol in the short-term, at least one showed that a dry month can be&nbsp;at least somewhat beneficial for some.</p>
<p>After successfully abstaining from alcohol for at least 30 days, a majority of people in that study&nbsp;<a href="http://www.nhs.uk/news/2016/01January/Pages/Dry-January-can-lead-to-healthier-drinking-patterns-long-term.aspx">continued to drink less</a> often, even six months later. Plus, when they did drink, these people also reported having fewer drinks. Most also described having an easier time refusing alcohol and they tended to show lower dependence scores on the 10-item Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Meditating to calm the mind: Try it — research suggests it can help.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c07-400-300/meditating-to-calm-the-mind-try-it--research-suggests-it-can-help.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>A <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322316000792">study</a> published in February showed for the first time that when we meditate &mdash; independent of whether we're expert meditators or total newbies &mdash; the practice appears to <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-meditation-changes-your-brain-2016-2">produce measurable brain changes</a> in two key ways.</p>
<p>First, it appeared to facilitate more communication between two brain regions involved in self-control and focus, and second, it seemed to lower levels of a substance called <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19359044">IL-6</a> that's been linked with stress and inflammation.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Using personality tests to pick a career: Skip them — they don't work.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c08-400-300/using-personality-tests-to-pick-a-career-skip-them--they-dont-work.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>One of the most popular personality tests, the Meyers-Briggs, claims to be helpful for choosing a career by analyzing your personality. But the test relies on binary choices. According to the test, for example, you're either "introverted" or "extroverted." In reality, ery few people would qualify as simply one or the other, as Dean Burnett points out in <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2013/mar/19/myers-briggs-test-unscientific">The Guardian.</a></p>
<p>This point is hammered home by the fact that statistical studies of the Myers-Briggs show that its data follows a <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14105180">normal distribution</a> &mdash; where the data falls around a central value with no bias to the left or the right, forming a balanced hill shaped curve &mdash; instead of a <a href="http://www.processexcellencenetwork.com/glossary/bimodal-distribution/">bimodal</a> one, where the data are lumped around two peaks.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>Coloring to reduce stress: Try it — studies suggest it might help people with specific health problems.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/578649dcdd0895a1588b4c09-400-300/coloring-to-reduce-stress-try-it--studies-suggest-it-might-help-people-with-specific-health-problems.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26548386">Several</a> <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15839734">small</a> <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2804629/#bib68">studies</a> on people with specific health problems, from substance abuse to cancer, suggest that drawing and music therapy can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Psychologists <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/adult-coloring-books-are-not-just-a-fad-for-some-they-are-a-lifesaver/2016/05/02/47449320-f8c2-11e5-a3ce-f06b5ba21f33_story.html">suggest this may be a result</a> of the fact that creative activities can help quiet the mind by encouraging us to focus.</p></p>
<br/><br/> https://www.insider.com/how-to-use-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-to-feel-happier-2016-7A viral book about the 'life-changing magic' of cleaning up has sparked a movementhttps://www.insider.com/how-to-use-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-to-feel-happier-2016-7
Fri, 08 Jul 2016 13:59:00 -0400Erin Brodwin
<p><img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/577fde7edd0895a01f8b4c21-2400/rtx2h2r6.jpg" alt="RTX2H2R6 japan minimalism" data-mce-source="REUTERS/Thomas Peter" /></p><p>Think you're pretty clean?</p>
<p>Think again.</p>
<p>In order to be "tidy," according to Marie Kondo, whose recent book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308">"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up"</a> has inspired a cult following, you must have successfully completed a tidying "marathon." This marathon, to be done only once in one's life, includes separating all your stuff into five distinct, ordered stacks, and then keeping only those items which "spark joy" in your body.</p>
<p>The real question, of course, is this: Could an act as simple as 'tidying up' actually make you feel better?</p>
<p>Kondo's <a href="https://marissahuber.com/2015/03/05/5-reasons-marie-kondos-tidying-worked-for-me/">"Konverts"</a> (their preferred name for themselves) say yes.&nbsp;<span>When deciding what to keep or discard, Konverts are instructed to "hold each object firmly in both hands as if communing with it&rdquo; and to &ldquo;pay close attention to how [their] body responds," Kondo outlines in a follow-up book to "Magic"&nbsp;</span><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">called </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Joy-Illustrated-Organizing-Tidying/dp/1607749726?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creativeASIN=1607749726&amp;linkCode=xm2&amp;redirect=true&amp;tag=thewaspos09-20">"Spark Joy.</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">" When something sparks joy, Kondo writes, "you should feel a little thrill, as if the cells in your body are slowly rising. When you hold something that doesn't bring you joy ... you will notice that your body feels heavier."</span></p>
<p>Getting rid of these joy-less objects, then,&nbsp;should help give you a sense of increased lightness and peace, right? Unfortunately, the science&nbsp;is a little more complicated than that. But familiarizing yourself with it&nbsp;can help you set real goals for yourself &mdash; and make room for some real magic to happen.</p>
<h2>Clutter, stress, and depression</h2>
<p>It's not surprising that feeling&nbsp;surrounded by a sea&nbsp;of stuff is linked&nbsp;with feelings of stress and depression. But precisely how these feelings are connected &mdash; including whether one actually causes the other &mdash; is a bit murkier.</p>
<p>In their 2012 book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Home-Twenty-First-Century-Families/dp/1931745617">"Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors,"</a> a team of archaeologists, anthropologists, and other social scientists&nbsp;from <a href="http://www.celf.ucla.edu/" target="_self">UCLA's Center on the Everyday Lives of Families</a> detail some of the findings from their 10-year systematic study of home life in 32 middle-class, dual-income families in Los Angeles. Among other things, they found that for many families, the task of managing their material goods &mdash; their stuff &mdash; was a <a href="http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/trouble-in-paradise-new-ucla-book">large source of stress</a>, especially for mothers.</p>
<p><img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/577fde7edd0895a01f8b4c22-1024/4979802200_f7a1df92a1_b.jpg" alt="cluttered shelves clutter disorder disorganized" data-mce-source="Flickr/Ashton" data-link="https://flic.kr/p/8A3MGC" /></p>
<p>A <a href="https://undecidedthebook.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/saxbe-repetti-pspb-2010.pdf">2009 study</a>,&nbsp;which&nbsp;looked at levels of the&nbsp;stress hormone cortisol in married couples, found a more precise link between clutter and stress in women. Women in the study who rated their homes as &ldquo;cluttered&rdquo; or full of &ldquo;unfinished projects" tended to have cortisol patterns linked with chronic stress and other poor health outcomes. These women also reported having increased depressed moods over the course of the day. On the other hand, women who rated their homes as more "restful" or "restorative" tended to have healthier cortisol patterns and also reported a&nbsp;decrease in depressive feelings throughout the day.</p>
<p>When it's present in excess, clutter and disorder can sometimes point to a bigger health problem. Depression, for example, can <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/symptoms/con-20032977">make a simple task like showering difficult</a> and turn something like cleaning out a desk into an insurmountable chore. Similarly, <a href="https://theacpa.org/living-with-pain">chronic&nbsp;pain</a> and <a href="http://www.addcenters.com/articles/disorganized_adult.htm">ADHD</a> can get in the way of getting organized.</p>
<p>At its most severe, compulsive hoarding &mdash; keeping so many objects that they overtake living spaces and interfere with someone's quality of life &mdash; is a <a href="http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Obsessive%20Compulsive%20Disorders%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf">specific disorder of its own</a>. The psychology manual known as the DSM-IV estimates that some 2-5% of Americans may suffer from hoarding disorder.</p>
<h2>'Tidying up' and feeling good</h2>
<p>Just because there's a link between clutter and negative feelings doesn't mean there's a link between organization and happiness. But some&nbsp;studies suggest that physical orderliness &mdash; a clean, neatly organized office, for example &mdash; may be linked with some positive outcomes, like&nbsp;eating healthier.</p>
<p><img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/577fde7edd0895a01f8b4c23-2400/rtx2h2q0.jpg" alt="RTX2H2Q0 japan minimalism" data-mce-source="REUTERS/Thomas Peter" />A <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2013/08/01/0956797613480186">2013 study</a> comprised of three different experiments, for example, found that when they gave a set of volunteers in two types of rooms a choice between a chocolate bar and an apple for a snack, the people in a cluttered room were&nbsp;more likely to choose the chocolate bar, while those in the neat room were more likely to choose the apple. When the same participants were given the option to donate money to a charitable cause, those in the orderly room also tended to give more money than those in the disorderly room.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Still, the same study also found links between physical <em>dis</em>order &mdash; or a messy office, say &mdash; and creativity.</p>
<p><img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/577fde7edd0895a01f8b4c24-1300/painting.jpg" alt="painting" data-mce-source="IMCBerea College/Flickr" data-link="https://www.flickr.com/photos/imcberea/20559247922/in/photolist-xjKw8L-x3VMcN-bzEPtK-5auY5Y-81CJQw-8JPKeU-8JLFST-8JPJfJ-dT8RDq-mGF941-mGDpFX-8JLH72-8JPJxN-8JLGP2-4E6oDW-bPKrG2-bAQNe7-9dQmDp-9dTqrE-pbCLNo-6t6tTs-8vsLQa-5tkN2F-efFgmf-zR6wwj-piAMvz-opwa14-8vvyvS-efFgfs-6FEdBo-8vwJ21-5UDSes-5E7asi-8vymWw-77dp46-eXACCh-eXAAab-eXAyU3-eXAz7S-eXpbJF-eXAzyC-eXAzUh-8vy1ML-8vxYgq-bAQPHm-bPKssT-bPKtSR-bPKumc-bAQNqC-8vwPty" /></p>
<p>In their second&nbsp;experiment, another group of people&nbsp;in another disorderly room were found to be more creative (as defined by the types of new uses they could come up with for ping pong balls) than those in the orderly room. And in their third experiment, another group of people in a&nbsp;neat room preferred an option labeled "classic," while those in a disorderly room preferred the one labeled "new."</p>
<p>The takeaway from all of this, for the average person, is probably rather simple: Tidy up when you have the time or when&nbsp;your environment starts to stress you out, and stop when you feel like the need to be neat is cramping your style.</p><p><strong>SEE ALSO:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.insider.com/what-berry-is-the-most-nutritious-2016-7" >RANKED: The 17 most nutritious berries for you</a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Follow INSIDER health&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/insiderhealth/" >on Facebook</a></strong></p>
<p><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-use-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-to-feel-happier-2016-7#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> <p>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.insider.com/4-matte-foundations-in-4-different-price-ranges-2019-4">We tried 4 matte foundations in 4 different price ranges</a></p> http://www.businessinsider.com/improve-your-finances-2016-1/Take our 14-day plan to radically improve your financeshttp://www.businessinsider.com/improve-your-finances-2016-1/
Mon, 09 May 2016 15:30:00 -0400Business Insider
<p><img style="float:right;" src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4780-600-/bi-better-money-3x4.png" alt="BI Better Money 3x4" width="600" border="0" /></p><p>According to a 2015 survey by the <a href="https://www.nfcc.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/NFCC_2015_Financial_Literacy_Survey_FINAL.pdf">National Foundation for Credit Counseling</a>, less than half of Americans keep close track of their spending, and nearly 30% aren't saving for retirement.</p>
<p>Clearly, there's room for improvement.</p>
<p>#BIBetterMoney is a 14-day self-improvement plan designed for the busy professional, featuring a simple task a day for two weeks to help you take control of your money.</p>
<p>We recommend participating with at least one other person, so you have more fun and keep each other in check. You can start on any Monday and should complete actions on their specified day when possible.</p>
<p>The following slides go through the days and the thought behind them in detail, and you can also <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/improve-your-finances-calendar-2015-5">reference our&nbsp;infographic calendar</a>.</p><h3>MONDAY, DAY 1: Get your 90-day number.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4783-400-300/monday-day-1-get-your-90-day-number.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Let's dive right in.</p>
<p>In his book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Hard-Truth-Women-Money/dp/1476734445">Cold Hard Truth on Men, Women &amp; Money</a>," "Shark Tank" investor Kevin O'Leary recommends that before you take any steps to improve the way you manage your money, you get what he calls your <strong>90-day number</strong>: A sum of every dollar you've spent and earned in the past three months.</p>
<p>"It's going to be a positive or negative number," he writes, "because money is black or white. There is no gray. You either have it or you don't."</p>
<p>You'll do this in two steps: First, add up your income, and next, add up your expenses.&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Income number -</strong><strong>&nbsp;expenses number = 90-day number</strong></p>
<p>If it's positive, you're starting off on the right foot. If it's negative, we have some work to do. And if it's hovering around zero, you're playing a dangerous game.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>TUESDAY, DAY 2: Choose a system to track your spending.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4784-400-300/tuesday-day-2-choose-a-system-to-track-your-spending.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You made a big effort yesterday, so today, we'll keep it quick: All you have to do is choose and implement a system to keep track of your income and expenses in the future, so the next time you want your 90-day number it will be available in a matter of minutes.</p>
<p>While you're welcome to break out a notebook and pen, you'll probably find it easier to take advantage of technology. Two of the most popular options are:</p>
<p><a href="https://www.mint.com/"><strong>Mint</strong></a>, a website and app that you can connect to your credit cards and bank accounts. It automatically pulls in data from any connected account to log every expense and paycheck, so you can see the full picture of your finances in just a few clicks.</p>
<p><strong>A spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel</strong>, which requires more manual input but allows you to manipulate the data in myriad ways. If you're already a big Excel user, you might be more comfortable with this format, although you will need to take a minute or two every morning &mdash; or a few minutes once a week &mdash; to update it.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>WEDNESDAY, DAY 3: Add up your debt.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4785-400-300/wednesday-day-3-add-up-your-debt.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>All debt isn't equal, but it does have the same bottom line: You owe money to someone else, and they're charging you for the loan. The money you pay them is money you can't use elsewhere. Generally, experts <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/difference-between-good-and-bad-debt-2014-7">divide debt into two categories</a>:</p>
<p>&bull; <strong>Good debt</strong>, which has relatively low interest rates and which pays for something immeasurably valuable or accruing value. For example, mortgage and student loan debt. Paying off good debt is less urgent than paying off bad.</p>
<p>&bull; <strong>Bad debt</strong>, which has relatively high interest rates and pays for a depreciating asset, like credit card debt or a car loan. You'll want to pay this debt as soon as possible, because it gets more expensive by the day.</p>
<p>One of the hardest things for many people to do with debt is simply to face exactly how much they owe &mdash; so we'll get that out of the way today.</p>
<p>Log into your accounts and get the balance for any debt you've been avoiding or has been weighing on you (take note of the minimum monthly payment while you're there). Add it all up, and face the number: This is money to be repaid, and tomorrow, we'll start figuring out how.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>THURSDAY, DAY 4: Create a budget.</h3>
<img src="https://static6.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4786-400-300/thursday-day-4-create-a-budget.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">A budget is simply a plan for how you'll spend your money, to make sure it goes where you want and doesn't vanish in a slow, untraceable drip.</span></p>
<p>You have lots of choices about how to do this: <a href="https://www.mint.com/">Mint</a> and <a href="http://www.youneedabudget.com/">You Need A Budget</a> provide budget templates, or you can create your own in Excel.&nbsp;<span>There are also downloadable budget templates online, such as those from&nbsp;</span><a href="http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/budgets.html">Vertex42</a><span>,&nbsp;</span><a href="https://drive.google.com/templates?category=14&amp;q=budget&amp;sort=users&amp;view=public&amp;ddrp=1#">Google Docs</a><span>,&nbsp;and&nbsp;</span><a href="https://www.daveramsey.com/tools/budget-forms/">Dave Ramsay</a><span>.</span></p>
<p>All you need is a line for each category of your spending and income, as granular as you want to get (more specific categories will make it easier to notice anomalies or issues in the future).&nbsp;</p>
<p><span><strong>In each category, set a proposed amount you'll spend that month.</strong>&nbsp;</span>Since you've already gone through your income and spending data for your 90-day number, you should be able to plug in three month's worth of data right off the bat, and use those numbers to guide reasonable spending limits going forward.</p>
<p>Also take into account yesterday's exercise in debt by creating categories for your debt payments. If you have consumer debt, you may want to set aside more than the minimum payment.</p>
<p><span>Going forward, your system for tracking your spending (Day 2) will show you whether you're sticking to your budget.&nbsp;</span>And remember: This budget isn't set in stone. You can always tweak it to better suit your current needs &mdash; and you should!</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>FRIDAY, DAY 5: Decide what you want to save for — and put numbers on those goals.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4787-400-300/friday-day-5-decide-what-you-want-to-save-for--and-put-numbers-on-those-goals.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">What do you want over the next five years? 10? 30? And how many of those have a price tag?</span></p>
<p>This isn't a scientific exercise. It's an exercise in prioritizing what you want, and starting to plan ahead to achieve it.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Common goals include buying a house, taking a trip, building an <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-emergency-savings-do-you-need-2014-8">emergency fund</a>, buying a car, having a baby, sending your child to college, and retiring comfortably.</p>
<p>The daydreaming is a good start, but now it's time to make it a little more real by assigning a price to your goal. A little research can help you with this, and keep in mind that prices for things like homes vary widely depending on your area.</p>
<p>Now, time to work backwards. Let's say you want to save $50,000 for a 20% down payment on a home, plus broker and other fees, in eight years. If you're saving in a regular savings account with insignificant interest, $50,000 divided by eight years is $6,250 a year &mdash; $521 a month, $130 a week.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Better build a line for these savings into your budget.</p>
<p>Where will this money come from? We'll get to that next.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SATURDAY, DAY 6: Free up some money to save.</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4788-400-300/saturday-day-6-free-up-some-money-to-save.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>People hate the idea of saving money because it feels like money you don't get to use. In fact, money you save is just money you set aside to use later on the things you <em>really</em> want, as opposed to the things you kind of want today.</p>
<p>That's why today, we're going to free up some money to save. One of the best ways to do this is to reduce your fixed monthly costs by making a major change such as moving to a cheaper home. However, that's a little drastic for a single day's task.</p>
<p>Today's task is to go through your monthly bills and see where you can reduce them. This task is two-fold: First, we'll see what we can negotiate down or cancel. Next, we'll see which bills we can reduce over the next month.</p>
<p><strong> Negotiate</strong> bills like phone, cable, utilities, and gym memberships. A few minutes calling your providers can make all the difference. For guidance on how to do it, check out this <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/6-monthly-bills-you-can-lower-in-minutes-2015-4">list of bills you can lower in minutes</a>, and these <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-win-negotiations-2015-3">science-backed tricks for winning a negotiation</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Reduce</strong> bills like groceries, restaurant spending, and clothing. There aren't any benevolent providers to reduce these bills for you &mdash; it's up to you to spend less in the coming month. Luckily, your budget will help you keep track! If you're looking for tricks on how to do this, try these <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/strategies-for-saving-groceries-2014-7">strategies to spend less at the grocery store</a>, and watch out for the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/restaurant-menus-spend-more-money-2014-7">psychological tricks restaurants use</a>&nbsp;and <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-stores-make-you-spend-more-2014-1">stores use</a> to make you spend more money.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SUNDAY, DAY 7: Make saving automatic.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4789-400-300/sunday-day-7-make-saving-automatic.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You're halfway there!</p>
<p>Today's task is pretty simple: You're going to set up a system to make saving money automatic. You're going to pay yourself first.</p>
<p>Instead of waiting to see how much money you have at the end of the month and funneling that into savings &mdash; unless there's none left because you accidentally spent it &mdash; you're going to make a point of having money available to save.</p>
<p>How? By having your chosen amount deposited directly into your savings account before you ever get the chance to spend it.&nbsp;</p>
<p>It's a simple matter of logging online or calling up your bank and arranging for a regular transfer of a portion of every paycheck from your checking account into your savings.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Psychologically, automatic transfers will give you a leg up, because it's much easier to keep from spending money you hardly remember you have.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>MONDAY, DAY 8: Assess your income, and find one place to improve.</h3>
<img src="https://static3.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478a-400-300/monday-day-8-assess-your-income-and-find-one-place-to-improve.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>The other half of "spend less money" is "earn more money," and it's an effective way to better balance your budget. Again, embarking on a new career or securing a large inheritance is a little too ambitious for a single day's step.</p>
<p>Instead, we're going to take the first step to earning more money: Identifying how to do it.</p>
<p>Boosting your income could take several forms, and it's worth thinking outside the box. Here are a few ideas:</p>
<p>&bull; Negotiate for a raise at your current job</p>
<p>&bull; Start looking for a higher-paying job</p>
<p>&bull; Sell your skills on the side through a site like <a href="https://www.elance.com/">Elance</a></p>
<p>&bull; Create a course in your field of expertise for a site like <a href="https://www.udemy.com/">Udemy</a></p>
<p>&bull; Get a one-time cash infusion through selling unwanted items&nbsp;or clothes on a site like <a href="https://www.liketwice.com/">Twice</a>, <a href="https://poshmark.com/">Poshmark</a>,&nbsp;or <a href="http://www.ebay.com/">eBay</a>, or <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/websites-to-sell-unwanted-gift-cards-2014-11">selling unwanted gift cards through one of the many sites available</a></p>
<p>&bull; Meet new people by fulfilling tasks on <a href="https://www.taskrabbit.com/">TaskRabbit</a> or <a href="https://www.fiverr.com/">Fiverr</a></p>
<p>Take into consideration whether it's an avenue you genuinely want to try, and how much you'd have to earn to make it worth your time. Here's <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-figure-out-what-your-time-is-worth-2014-8">a guide to figure out how much your time is worth</a>.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>TUESDAY, DAY 9: Review your investment accounts. </h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478b-400-300/tuesday-day-9-review-your-investment-accounts.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Today, you're going to take a critical eye to your investments.</p>
<p>It's important that you select investments that are both low-fee and diversified, with an appropriate level of risk for your goals. You can <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/the-3-different-categories-of-fees-on-your-investments-2015-2">read more about the fees that lessen your returns</a> and how to find them, and <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/investing-mistake-on-diversification-2014-10">how to diversify properly</a>.</p>
<p><span>The flashy kind of investing that makes people billionaires tends to be putting all your cash in a single corporate basket, but that approach doesn't work for most people &mdash; even Warren Buffett advises a more conservative approach. Specifically, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffett-recommends-sp-500-index-2014-3">he recommends investing in index funds</a>.</span></p>
<p>One way to put your money in index funds is to use an automated investment service like <a href="https://www.wealthfront.com/">Wealthfront</a> or <a href="https://www.betterment.com/">Betterment</a>, which manages your investments for you with minimal or no fees, depending on how much money you put in.</p>
<p>For the most part, a solid investment portfolio is best served by <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/openfolio-tuneup-analysis-2015-4">being left alone to weather the market</a>. The notable exception to this is rebalancing, which adjusts the makeup of your portfolio to a level of risk that best suits your age and goals. Read a <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/perform-a-quarterly-checkup-on-your-portfolio-with-these-4-steps-2015-4">guide to conducting a quarterly portfolio checkup</a>.</p>
<p>If you haven't started investing yet, now is the time.&nbsp;<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">The chart above is a good illustration of why <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/compound-interest-and-young-people-2015-4">time is your greatest asset when it comes to investing</a>.</span></p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>WEDNESDAY, DAY 10: Get your credit score.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478c-400-300/wednesday-day-10-get-your-credit-score.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Today's task is a simple one: You're going to get your credit score.</p>
<p><span>Your credit score is a three-digit number between 301 and 850, and the higher, the better. Generally, you don't want your credit score to dip below 650, and you never want it below 600.</span></p>
<p><span>It exists&nbsp;<span>to help give lenders an idea of your trustworthiness, and can affect whether you get approved for and the interest rates you receive for major loans like a mortgage. The number is based on your past behavior &mdash; things like whether you pay your bills on time, how much of your total credit limit you use (maxing out your cards is bad!), and how many accounts you have (generally, the more the better). You can see the full breakdown above.</span></span></p>
<p>It's available for free from sites like <a href="https://www.creditkarma.com/auth/logon/">CreditKarma</a>, <a href="http://www.credit.com/">Credit.com</a>, and <a href="http://www.creditsesame.com/free-score/">Credit Sesame</a> &mdash; all you have to do is pick one and sign up. You can check it as often as you want from now on.</p>
<p>Technically, there are three credit bureaus that generate credit scores for you and each of the above sites chooses (and clearly discloses) which bureau it pulls from. One score is usually enough to give you a good idea how you're doing, since they tend to be very similar.&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Optional: Get your credit report.</strong></p>
<p>If you're shocked by your score &mdash; in a good or bad way &mdash; you might want to go a step further and get your credit report, which is also free. <a href="https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action">AnnualCreditReport.com</a> is the <em>only</em> free place to get it, and you're permitted one report from each bureau per year. You can get them all at once to compare, or request one every four months to keep tabs throughout the year on any errors or misrepresentations.</p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/every-adult-should-know-this-about-credit-scores-2014-5">Learn more about your credit</a>.</em></p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>THURSDAY, DAY 11: Take a hard look at your bank.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478d-400-300/thursday-day-11-take-a-hard-look-at-your-bank.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Some banks make over <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/banks-earning-the-most-fees-2014-5">$1 million a year in fees</a> from their customers, and y<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">ou probably don't want to contribute.</span></p>
<p><span>If you're paying</span><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">&nbsp;unnecessary bank fees for basics like holding a checking account, or withdrawing cash from an ATM, you're getting a raw deal.</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">One of the smartest things you can do is read the disclosures before opening an account at a bank, where they'll tell you exactly what you're expected to pay and how to avoid the cost, in the case of something like a minimum balance fee for your checking account. Between getting your 90-day number and establishing your budget, it should be clear to you if your bank is charging you fees for services you could otherwise get for free.</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">You have two options to deal with that:</span></p>
<p><strong>1. Get clear on the requirements to avoid fees, and set up a system to make sure you always meet them.</strong> If it's keeping your checking account at a certain balance, set up a text alert if you balance gets dangerously close. If it's using your debit card five times a month, make a practice of always using it at the dry cleaner. If it's withdrawing money from an ATM, swear off out-of-network machines.</p>
<p><strong>2. Change banks.</strong> Your options are no longer limited to the biggest banks in the country. Now, online banks such as <a href="http://www.ally.com/">Ally</a>, <a href="https://www.simple.com/">Simple</a>, and <a href="https://www.bankmobile.com/">BankMobile</a> pride themselves on their lack of fees to the consumer, a privilege they can afford because they don't maintain brick-and-mortar storefronts.</p>
<p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">The next time you're charged a surprise fee, take a few minutes to call &mdash; you never know, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-reverse-a-bank-fee-2015-3">they might just go ahead and refund you</a>.</span></p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>FRIDAY, DAY 12: Put your important financial documents and passwords in one place.</h3>
<img src="https://static4.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478e-400-300/friday-day-12-put-your-important-financial-documents-and-passwords-in-one-place.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">Today, put all of your important banking info in one place. That place is not an email draft called "passwords," and it's also not a sticky note on your fridge that says: "123456." (Seriously, that's a common one that makes the </span><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/the-worst-passwords-to-use-2013-12">list of absolute worst passwords you can use</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">.)&nbsp;</span></p>
<p>If you're still dealing in paper, an accordion folder will probably come in handy.</p>
<p>If your banking is primarily online, however, there are some higher-tech options you can use to keep track of the information that lets you access your "paperwork."</p>
<p>For instance, password management service <a href="https://lastpass.com/">LastPass</a>, which costs $12 a year. <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-use-password-manager-lastpass-2014-8">See the guide to set it up here</a>. Another option is <a href="https://agilebits.com/onepassword">1Password</a>, which <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/1password-app-integrations-2015-5">recently upgraded its mobile experience</a>.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SATURDAY, DAY 13: Make sure you're appropriately insured.</h3>
<img src="https://static5.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b478f-400-300/saturday-day-13-make-sure-youre-appropriately-insured.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>Having insurance is a lot like carrying around an umbrella. When you don't need it, it's a pain, but when the sky opens up, you've never felt smarter.</p>
<p>Some types of insurance are mandatory &mdash; like home and car insurance &mdash; but for others, it's up to you to buy them and decide how much coverage you need.</p>
<p>Take today to read over your insurance policies, and to think about whether they're sufficient for your current life.</p>
<p>It's recommended that you have the following coverage:</p>
<p><strong>Starting in your 20s:</strong> health, auto, renter's, and disability insurance</p>
<p><strong>Starting in your 30s:</strong> life, homeowner's, and pet insurance</p>
<p><strong>Starting in your 40s:</strong> long-term care insurance</p>
<p><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/insurance-for-every-age-2014-6">Read a lengthier description of these policies and why you need them</a>.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>SUNDAY, DAY 14: Plan out your calendar for the foreseeable future.</h3>
<img src="https://static2.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4790-400-300/sunday-day-14-plan-out-your-calendar-for-the-foreseeable-future.jpg" alt="" />
<p><p>You made it! Over the past two weeks, you've taken major strides to improve your financial management.</p>
<p>Now, let's not let that work go to waste.</p>
<p>Today we're going to set calendar reminders to stay on top of our money over the next few years. If you use an online calendar such as Google Calendar, this couldn't be much easier: Just make recurring appointments. If you use a paper calendar, you're limited to a year, but you can still pencil in your dates.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Consider adding:</p>
<p>&bull; Evaluate my budget, once per month</p>
<p>&bull; Check my credit score, once per month</p>
<p>&bull; Get my credit report, once every four months</p>
<p>&bull; Check the balance on my retirement account, once every six months</p>
<p>&bull; Adjust my savings goals, once every six months</p>
<p>&bull; Evaluate my investment accounts, once a year</p>
<p>And, if you'd like, you can go ahead and place a final reminder on the calendar &mdash; to take #BIBetterMoney again next year.</p></p>
<br/><br/><h3>See the steps in one place:</h3>
<img src="https://static1.insider.com/image/5730e544dd0895d55f8b4791-400-300/see-the-steps-in-one-place.jpg" alt="" />
<p><h3><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/improve-your-finances-calendar-2015-5">Click here to see the full calendar &raquo;</a></h3></p>
<br/><br/> http://www.businessinsider.com/handwriting-helps-you-learn-2014-12Here's why writing things out by hand makes you smarterhttp://www.businessinsider.com/handwriting-helps-you-learn-2014-12
Thu, 05 May 2016 17:10:00 -0400Drake Baer
<p><img style="float:right;" style="float: right;" src="https://static1.insider.com/image/56bb8853dd0895696f8b48ed-600-/journal-journaling-diary-moleskine-writing-1.jpg" alt="journal journaling diary moleskine writing" width="600" border="0"></p><p>Typing is fast. </p>
<p>Handwriting is slow.</p>
<p>Weirdly, that's precisely why handwriting is better suited to learning. </p>
<p>Take it from research psychologists Pam A. Mueller of Princeton University and Daniel M. Oppenheimer of the<span> University of California, Los Angeles</span>, who did <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/25/6/1159" target="_blank">a fascinating study</a> investigating just how terrible laptops are for note-taking in classrooms. </p>
<p>Earlier studies have argued that laptops make for poor note-taking because of the litany of distractions available on the internet, but their experiments yielded a counterintuitive conclusion: Handwriting is better because it slows the learner down. </p>
<p>By slowing down the process of taking notes, you accelerate learning. </p>
<p>It works like this. If a skilled typist (also known as an American millennial) is sitting in a classroom, he or she will be able write down almost every word that the lecturer utters. The thing is, that transcription process doesn't require any critical thinking. So while you're putting the words down on the page, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/highlighting-a-terrible-study-strategy-2014-11">your brain doesn't have to engage with the material</a>.</p>
<p>As learning science <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/highlighting-a-terrible-study-strategy-2014-11">has discovered</a>, if<span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> you're not signaling that the material is important to your brain, it will discard the lecture from memory for the sake of efficiency. </span></p>
<p>But if you are taking notes by hand, you won't be able to write down every word the speaker says. Instead, you'll have to look for representative quotes, summarize concepts, and ask questions about what you don't understand.</p>
<p>This requires more effort than just typing every word out — <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/learning-hacks-that-will-maximize-your-memory-2014-6">and the effort is what helps cement the material in your memory</a>. The more effort you put into understanding something, the stronger signal you're giving your brain that it's worth remembering.</p>
<p><span>Mueller and Oppenheimer <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/25/6/1159" target="_blank">conclude that for students</a>, "transcrib[ing] lectures verbatim rather than processing information and reframing it in their own words is detrimental to learning."</span></p>
<p>The benefits of handwriting — <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/03/science/whats-lost-as-handwriting-fades.html?_r=0">though it's a disappearing skill</a> — have been documented by lots of educational psychologists, who have found that handwriting engages parts of the brain that typing neglects, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201407/step-away-the-keyboard-how-our-hands-affect-our-brains" target="_blank">especially areas associated with memory formation</a>. For these reasons, the arguments go, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/03/science/whats-lost-as-handwriting-fades.html?_r=0" target="_blank">kids come up with more ideas when they're writing in cursive versus typing</a>. </p>
<p>So, as French psychologist <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/03/science/whats-lost-as-handwriting-fades.html?_r=0" target="_blank">Stanislas Dehaene told The New York Times</a><span>, you may want to step away from the keyboard. </span></p>
<p>"When we write, a unique neural circuit is automatically activated," he said. <span style="line-height: 1.5em;">"There is a core recognition of the gesture in the written word, a sort of recognition by mental simulation in your brain, </span><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">it seems that this circuit is contributing in unique ways we didn't realize.”</span></p>
<p>The result?</p>
<p>"Learning is made easier," he concluded.</p>
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<h3> </h3><p><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/handwriting-helps-you-learn-2014-12#comments">Join the conversation about this story &#187;</a></p> https://www.insider.com/navy-seal-david-goggins-jesse-itzler-zico-entrepreneur-sucks-2016-2A Navy SEAL told us why we should ‘do something that sucks’ every dayhttps://www.insider.com/navy-seal-david-goggins-jesse-itzler-zico-entrepreneur-sucks-2016-2
Sat, 05 Mar 2016 08:26:00 -0500Joe Avella
<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Itzler"></a></p>
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<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Itzler">Jesse Itzler</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> felt he was in a rut. So he asked </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Goggins">Navy SEAL David Goggins</a><span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> to live with him for 31 days, during which Jesse would do anything David told him to do.</span></p>
<p>Jesse would later write <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1455534676/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1455534676&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=thebusiinsi-20&amp;linkId=DW5QO7YFAPTN5BGW">"Living With A Seal"</a> documenting the grueling experience of getting whipped into shape by one of the toughest men on the planet. They ran through snow storms, jumped into a frozen lake, and did lots and lots of push-ups. </p>
<p>The adopted the philosophy "if it doesn't suck, we don't do it." David and Jesse explain in order to get better you need to constantly take yourself out of your comfort zone, or do something that sucks every day.</p>
<p><em>Produced by <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/author/joe-avella">Joe Avella</a><br></em></p>
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