Battling with BPD, A toddler and life. Feel free to follow my not so private online journal !

Our Big move 2019

So we finally have a date to move into our new home and it is in less than a month and we can’t wait!!

This house has taken a toll on both mine and Lee’s mental health as there are so many problems with it including mould that we have reported and that our landlord has just ignored or refused to fix.

I usually can’t cope with change at all and if I’m being honest my mental health is in an extremely bad place at the moment but the move to this new house is keeping me going although it is super stressful.

The change I think I am struggling with most at the moment is my Grandma moving out of the only home I have ever known her and my grandad live in together and now it feels like I’m losing the only thing left of my grandad and that’s his home. I know that is really selfish as my Grandma needs to move to a smaller place where she feels safe but for me it feels like another massive loss !

We haven’t even started packing yet and I don’t even know where to start but we really need to get our arses into gear because we have less than a month to pack up our entire house!! Wish us luck!!!

So I wrote the above last night and since then we have currently packed up one box 🤣🙈 and cleared quite a few bits out of the cellar to go to the tip as a lot of it is ruined so we have just had to get rid of it.

I can’t wait to move tho. I’m just worried about how Milly will take it as she hates change but I have done everything I can to prepare her for the move like I have bought books on moving house for her and I even made her a photo book of the new house that she can look at anytime she wants.

I think a part of her is excited but the other part is scared because it’s new and I guess that’s how I feel too as we have amazing neighbor’s at the moment and I’m just worried that we won’t get the same support from our new neighbor’s but I guess that’s the same for everyone.

I just decide that they are murderers or going to hurt me before I even know them but I can’t help it my mind just goes there without any notice then I become paranoid it probably didn’t help that in our 1st house we moved into together our neighbor was a weirdo stalker who used to steal Lee’s post.

I hope this is 3rd time lucky tho as this house is everything we want so I hope we can have a happy life in it and not be constantly stressed about what’s going to go wrong next.

Keep everything crossed for us 🤞🤞

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I will do my best to post over this month but we obviously will be very busy trying to pack up the house with less than 3 weeks to go.