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My Biggest Rival: Australia (12/3/13)

Today I learned that Arvin will be flying to Australia by tomorrow. The moment I received that text form Andy Gaston confirming that Arvin would be leaving for Australia tomorrow, my heart sank—like someone threw it in a well. I felt that hallow feeling stirring inside me. I have no idea why this is happening to me. It was like I shattered into a million pieces. I wouldn’t have been affected if he’ll leave for Australia after the soiree. I mean that’s the point of our whole soiree right? To finally have time to get together. Apparently, the times that he was free, I was busy and now that I’m free, he’s busy. It hurts to think that something that should’ve been ours will now be gone all because of time. Lack of time and extreme amount of things to do. And now I have nothing to look forward to. Who knew my biggest rival for Arvin’s time would be Australia? It’s just so sad knowing that I’d meet him finally and get to hang with me for what feels like a year… However, the Throne forbids which I have mixed feelings about—sadness and hope, hope that maybe it is for the best. However, what is great about a day without him knowing that he should be with you on that specific day? Its like going to a date and at the very last minute your date had an emergency which changed the course of your whole evening because he can’t, under any circumstances, attend to you.Disappointing and lonely.

Is it really possible? Maybe yes but possibly not. And I do wish not because that can trigger deeper feelings—which I intend to avoid in order to stay unbroken. But why? Out of all the people in the world, why Arvin? Ugh! Damn this prom. I can wish I never should’ve asked him but then again, there’s no one else I’d want to go to prom with. No one. Well, except maybe Justine, assuming that we’re close, but then again we’re not and there’s no other prom date as perfect as Arvin that I could bring to prom. Maybe it’s destiny or maybe it’s simply just another challenge for me but who knows? “Maybe it’s the start of something new.”