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Monday, December 12, 2016

Hey there! You guys know me. You know I have some medical issues... chronic pain (fibro and rheumatoid arthritis), I've got some foot issues too (tendinitis and plantar fasciitis), there's tendinitis in my shoulder, and I've had both knees replaced (one almost eight years ago, the other about seven months ago). I even had carpal tunnel surgery in both hands!

And I have weather-induced asthma. I call this look "Stagecoach Robber Chic"

And if you know me like you do, you know that I have a huuuuge pet peeve. I really, really hate it when people don't clear the snow off their vehicles before driving them. Look, I understand if you're disabled. Heck, I'm very familiar with disabled people.

Well, this one anyway.

Unless you're disabled and without someone to help or recently injured or surgeried up, I get it. Clearing the snow is just hard work. But if you're at all mobile- like me, I still walk with a slight limp. If you can walk and stand, odds are that you can clear the damn snow off your car. Here... look at my vehicle. That's a 2012 Chevrolet Colorado.

His name is Blueberry.

And, in just about ten or fifteen minutes, I made him look like this!

His name is still Blueberry.

But wait! I can hear you say right now: "C'mon, Pahz, I don't have a fancy brush that can reach the top of my vehicle!" Sure, I get you- you live in an area that gets snow on a nearly annual basis. Multiple times a year. I get you, man. Those brushes are long and don't fit in your car very well. But I bet you own something else. Something magical. Something amazing!!

How amazing? This thing is so amazing that you can use it for different things! It sweeps! It pushes dirt around! It doesn't quite get all of that spilled sugar up onto the dustpan! But I guarantee you that it'll get the snow off your vehicle!

What is that item called?

BEHOLD!! THE MIGHTY BROOM!!

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do have one of those," you say, dejectedly.

I took this simple, humble tool. This common kitchen broom and I used it to take THIS:

His name is STILL Blueberry.

And turn it into THIS:

Lightly dusted Blueberry.

And just HOW did a gimpy, pain-filled, asthmatic, slightly bitchy short woman do this?

Well, it was easy, really. I went "outside" and I approached my truck with the broom in my hand and I started at the top of my truck and worked my way down. I know it might be a little scary at first, but trust me, you can do it. I did it. And there was over eight inches of snow on my truck. Even more than that on the parts where it was drifted. I used my hands and my arms to lift the broom and I walked around my vehicle.

I had feet when I started this.

When I was done, I was a little dusted with snow, but I survived it because it isn't a hard thing to do!! You have no excuse. You don't need fancy tools or implements! You can take a simple household broom to achieve the dream. I have faith in you! YOU CAN DO IT!! Go! Go and get your broom! Take it outside! Use it to brush that snow off your car or truck or minivan or full-size van.

If I could fly with this, I wouldn't need it to clear the snow off my truck.

I don't want you to be alarmed, but you might get some of the snow ON you when you do this. So, dress appropriately for snow-work. Today, I was wearing jeans, shirt, scarf, jacket, my red Docs, and my awesome mittens.

Those mittens are available at theSheepskin Shop at the Bristol Renaissance Faire.You thought I wouldn't mention it in a post about snow, did you?

"I don't think this is a problem," I hear you say. That means that you're part of the problem! You drive around with thick layers of snow all over your vehicle and you don't care that you can cause problems with that snow. It can affect another driver's visibility. It can literally fly off in chunks, hitting other cars. Maybe you'll get lucky and that huge bit of snow on your roof that has melted slightly will come off in one big sheet and hit the ground. That's great! Till the sun goes down and that humble slab of snow-ice freezes and now you have a road hazard. All because you didn't have the same strength and agility as a mildly gimpy, chronic pain-addled, asthmatic, short and fat chick. Or her stroke-disabled husband. Yeah, he can clear his full-sized truck off using a broom and he does it one-handed. I hope you feel bad about that... because all these people should. And, it turns out, in some places, this is against the law. THE LAW. AGAINST IT.

All photos were taken today, on the drive to/from the grocery store. At stop signs and in the parking lot(s) where I stopped my vehicle to get the photos. I get road rage, I don't cause it... I mean, at least I don't try to cause it.

If you click the picture, it'll get bigger.That's what she said!This time, she did say that.