Hi everyone I'd just like to explain something to see if any one else on this forum has also experienced this numerous times. Il try to word this as best I can, OK to start off with if you've asked a question about something a person is talking about for example "so does that mean this has happened?" in regards to any conversation anything that's on the news, situation etc... On more than one occasion has the person talking responded in a cross manor? Such as "No! did you not listen to what I've just said! , that happened. Then you try to justify yourself because you were trying to politely ask a question and try to make yourself clear. You know your own points and you understand fully what they are saying but they misinterpreted what you said. Such as the way you worded it or you tone of voice? Leading to you feeling momentarily hot, embarrassed, upset and fighting any erge to cry?

Many times in my life, these behaviours have only been recognised exclusively around mental health problems I've suffered with e.g anxiety amongst other things briefly at different points in my life so far. I would also like to mention if anyone has also experienced the following. You may be talking to someone, not in an aggressive or stroppy tone but you are simply asking a question however your voice suddenly comes out loud or fast. People may perceive you as having a bee in your bonnet or being in their face even though your not trying to come across angry, sad, happy etc like they are perceiving you? This leads you to again justify yourself and even compare yourself to other people. This forms a confrontation because the more you try and explain the more you feel they have the upper hand and your not winning because they argue the point. You start to give up your justification to explain your points or explain what you ment because most of the time the person or group of people have firmly voiced their perception on you regardless of you correcting them. This again leaves you feeling sad, hot, embarrassed briefly a bit like getting told off. These examples relate to me and I am interested to hear if this is often the case with anyone else.

My personal interpretation of this is that since we see and analyse info differently our understanding can be at odds with that of others. I personally find that this divergence means I can really care about getting something right but those around me infuriatingly don't seem to think it is at all important.

Some people are impatient of others who are different and don't see things in the same way and their impatience is likely to fuel our own anxiety further. They may not have intentionally meant to hurt us this way and may equally not have realised their being like they were was upsetting to us.

Dyspraxia and the associated anxiety we can feel as a result of our difference means we can have days where we feel like we can get nothing right and we'll feel pretty miserable and feel we have to try and explain ourselves, but cannot manage this adequately.

Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

SarahTheScout wrote:I've been told in the past that my tone of voice was wrong, too loud, too quiet, etc. I don't think it's just you! And I've ended up arguing with people before just because of a misinterpretation.

Me too. It sounds a lot like you're suffering with Asperger's Syndrome in the case you describe there, although it could very well just be a case of Dyspraxia with no other learning disabilities on the periphery, of course. I just mention this because I am pretty sure I am on the ASD spectrum and am being diagnosed for Asperger's soon. I find that my tone of voice modulation, as well as volume and gestures can either be lacking, inaccurate, too much or all of the above.

3I think my misinterpretation is worse when I've just made a mistake and begin to overthink myself to the nth degree, so would constantly get the correct answers and then somehow manage to quantum tunnel myself to a wrong one instead!