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Like Beetlejuice my name has been mentioned to drag me out of the woodwork.. to comment on fashion! Something I know not of… but I do think Sister looks gorgeous ..and her dress fever-inducing in a good way.

Now, having said that, Sister’s posture either signals resignation, unnecessary irony.. or that her purse contains a few dozen bricks.. Perhaps Mr. Duff can suggest the same finishing school that shaped his impeccable comportment?

(Brits are the only people in the world who can word a fuck you and make it sound like a compliment..)

My dear Dexter, old thing, I only called upon you for your artistic expertise which, even in the horror of contemporary art, must still play a large part. Er, it does, doesn’t it? Oh, no, tell me it ain’t so!

Anyway, the question is simple, do you think that sickly mauve handbag goes with that brilliant red dress? No shilly-shallying, man-up and tell it the way it is! As for Big Sis’s posture, I gave up years ago complaining about her habit of always leaning her head on one side whilst being photographed – I think she threatened to knock my silly head right off my shoulders if I wasn’t careful.

Also, it is odd that such a gorgeous-looking woman with so many strong opinions strikes such an awkward, uneasy, almost gauche pose. ‘I zink zer are zigns of inzecurity here, Dr. Freud’!

David – Let me explain (and this is just between us): I am so fabulous that I am forced to downplay my fabulousness with a kind of faux self-deprecating stance, so as not to appear too full of myself.

The mauve bag, which I thought was “Dusty Rose” but will now call “mauve” in deference to you, is a fucking Chanel, chosen expressly for its “difficult” color, in order to emphasize how little I care about conventional color arrangements.

Now. I’m going to send you ten million photos of my head cocked to the other side.

Thanks, ‘Sis’, that was a really big help! I just popped down to our nearest department store to give the ‘Memsahib’ a little treat, called over the girl on the perfumery counter and said , ‘Could I have some of that “fucking Chanel”‘ – and I was thrown out!

Sister wolf you are so fabulous. I turn 50 next year, and you make me less afraid. Also, the Chanel purse rules I actually love the way that kind of dusky rose colour goes with bright red. . Also I am completely in love with remix shoes! Do not own a pair, but I want to.

Oh dear! Just as things were going so well between us, Patni, and I was hesitating on the idea of proposing a date, I suddenly remembered that on this site the phrase “I am not a lady” can be either literal or metaphorical.

(Elderly Britsh gent shuffles off fast and confused before he puts his foot in it!)