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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Tonight's Goal: Drive Humans Crazy

The humans are cranky tonight. The human man never sleeps well, even after they bought that new fancy, large bed. The human woman usually sleeps like a log, even when I lay on her head, but lately she's been waking up a lot, which disturbs my sleep.

I've been spending more and more time at the head of the bed, mainly because I've now stolen 95% of the head of the bed. I've trained the human woman to pull back the covers and let me onto my spot, then she contorts herself into the bed, curling her feet around Loki so not to disturb him, and then giving me most of the head of the bed. She's very quick at learning these things.

So, tonight the old guy Nova is cranky too, so we told him that the humans would give him some human food if he bugged them a lot. He's doing a really good job at it too. They tried putting us out in the yard so they could have a moment of peace, but the old guy has created a rather convincing and pathetic scream that sends the humans running to check on him. Then we burst into the door and run upstairs to steal their food. Unfortunately, they're not tired enough to have left anything on the counters. We need to wake them more in the night so they're more careless.

They thought they were smart and gated us out of the room they were eating in. We pretended to rip each other to shreds to get them to come out and leave the food unguarded, but once again, foiled by the gate they remembered to put up behind them. We then tried the "bug Nova old guy til he freaks out" trick, but he was having none of that.

The human woman did feel bad for locking us out of the room and gave us each a bit of a french fry each. Harmph, not a whole lot, but I guess it was something.

After dinner, we tried barking, yipping, raking with claws and pressing of cold noses on exposed flesh, just to get them all jumpy. They told us to be quiet, lay down, and threatened us with bodily harm (which they never do anything, but we're recording it in case we need to use it against them to get human food).

I've given up for the night. I'm not even holding my breath that the human woman will take us out and play with us. Something about going to bed early, which is fine with me. If they won't let us claw and bug them, might as well get a fluffy night's sleep.

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