My exclusive Santa interview!

Peter McMartin sits on Santa's knee for his interview...

Photograph by: Bill Keay
, Vancouver Sun

I couldn't believe my luck. There he was, The Big Guy.

Just sitting there, on a throne, beneath a 30-foot-tall Christmas tree. Cheeks like roses, nose like a cherry, little round belly that shook like jelly -- it was him all right. He was shorter in person than I'd thought he'd be. That's so often the case with the famous, though, isn't it?

There was a line of people waiting to see him. One of Santa's helpers -- he had two of them, one of them had an Australian accent -- said that on the weekends the line got so long that when they cut it off at 8 p.m., two security guards were brought in to be on hand because desperate parents way at the back would sometimes beg parents up at the front to let them cut in, or even offer a bribe.

But this was Friday morning and not nearly as busy, but, as always, it was filled with parents pushing babies in strollers and running herd on little kids who were just at that age, some of whom were so excited they hopped up and down in that way when they have to pee.

Some kids had looks of real dread on their faces, too, as if they were going to see Santa to get their yearly booster shots. All kids, one parent said, love the idea of Santa, but some panic at the prospect of meeting the Big Guy, like the kid in line who totally lost it just before he reached Santa, and started bawling so loudly his dad led him away by the arm, and bent close to his ear the way dads do when they tell their sons, I'm guessing, to suck it up, for gawd's sake.

On the other hand, there were kids like Matthew and Ryan MacLean, who were brothers, and who wore matching shirts, and who couldn't wait to see Santa. Matthew was five and Ryan was two, and while they were in line, Ryan decided it would be cool if he lay down on the terrazzo floor while they waited and spin around in circles, which drove his mother, Heidi, nuts. Then, Ryan's brother, Matthew got so excited that he forgot about the line and made a dash for Santa all by himself, and made it, too, until his dad, Peter, ran in and hauled him back, and explained to Matthew that he had to wait his turn. So they did, and when the two brothers got on Santa's lap, they decided to sing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Jingle Bells for him, and Matthew asked for Star Wars toys and a new soccer ball and a fish aquarium, and Ryan asked for Spiderman stuff.

Had the economic climate affected some of the children's wishes, Heidi was asked?

Well, yes, it had, a bit, Heidi said, in that they were hoping Santa would be a little more restrained in his generosity this year, not so much because of money, but because they hoped he would demonstrate to the kids that what was really important about Christmas was family, and spending time with family.

In time, it was my turn. I got on Santa's knee. He peered at me over pince-nez glasses. I asked him if the economic downturn had affected what kids were asking for this year, and Santa said:

"No, not in the least. It's not in their world. They're the fortunate ones.

"But one of the things that this has done for me this year? It's made me hopeful for the future. These are good kids. I had two seven-year-olds ask for world peace. And they asked for that as their only gift. And I had a 10-year-old who said he wanted to be a scientist so he could get rid of pollution. If the children are our future, the world will be in good hands."

Santa said that since he had been there he had been heartened by the sheer diversity of people who came to see him. Chinese, South Asian, lots of couples of mixed races and cultures -- it made him feel hopeful, he said, that the kind of social tension that is caused by our differences would soon be a thing of the past. He had talked to a lady from Kuwait, he said, and a lady from the Punjab, and a 90-year-old Chinese Buddhist nun.

"She was in a wheelchair, so her aide wheeled her in," Santa said. "And she couldn't speak English, but she wanted to have her picture taken with Santa, so she did."

I asked him what kind of gifts had been asked of him, and he said that, surprisingly, there had not been too many requests for computers and such, or dolls, but Lego was big this year, and Spiderman things, and Transformers. One child asked for a piano. Another asked for a Zen garden. Another asked for an elephant, though Santa enquired if his family had the space to properly keep one. A very pretty Chinese girl who sat down with her boyfriend asked that her boyfriend be happy for Christmas, while her boyfriend, poignantly, asked that his parents be happy for Christmas.

Then Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

I thought about this for some time. I didn't want to blow it.

"Well, nothing for myself, really. But I'd like it -- if things get really bad -- that you stick around. You know, keep that Christmas spirit alive even in really tough times."

Santa looked at me, a little sideways, but said he would do that. Then I said: "Wait a minute. Can I amend that? I decided I would like something for myself. I'd like a really nice bottle of scotch."

Santa said: "Well, I think we might be able to work something out. We fly over Scotland and some very nice barrels of single malt."

Then Santa gave me a candy cane and wished me a Merry Christmas and I left with this big stupid grin on my face.

Almost Done!

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