Ohhhh, man. Someone has definitely been keeping tabs on me. Anyone who knows me well knows that my favorite flavor of anything is red velvet, and today when I got some cake truffles from Candice, I knew that these would be winners when I saw the flavor listing "2 red velvet truffles."

So I'd never had a cake truffle before. Well, now that I've popped that cherry, I can tell you that they're amazing, moist, and addictive to the point of using them for weaning cocaine addicts. I figured the whole idea of a cake truffle would be a little ball of cake, scooped out from a big cake, and wrapped in chocolate, like a petit four, in ball form.

I couldn't have been more blatantly incorrect. Sweet fucking Jesus, was I wrong.

Biting into one of these, the first thing that hits my senses is the noise they make when you bite them. They go, "sssmmmmmkkk," when they pull apart because they're so moist and gooey on the inside that separating bites is a Sisyphian task. I can never go back to regular cake again.

So onto the flavors. I tried the red velvet first, and was rather impressed. The flavor is a bit sharp, potentially from the dye, and has an undertone less of chocolate than of coconut, interestingly, and the white chocolate on the outside provides a very milky flavor and creaminess to offset the gooey density of the cake. It's a beautiful truffle. It's nice and big and the cake is wet and moist and the inside is a striking red.8/10- MMMM...

The next truffle had a different texture that I rather enjoyed. It was a caramel truffle, but to be honest, I tasted more notes of butterscotch with the brown sugary flavor than the caramel, but it was still damned good. The wet crumbs in these were bigger than the crumbs in the red velvet and thus changed the texture to something nice, like a moist shortbread. Again, I cannot fully emphasize how wet these are except to record an mp3 of me biting into these, which I will spare you the indignity of. Just...incredible.9/10- EXQUISITE

And the last one was like taking the world's best brownies, all of them, cramming them into a centrifuge, and swirling them around until they made a magnificent conglomerate of brownie batter. And that was the triple chocolate. I'm not entirely sure what made it triple, as there was chocolate on the outside and chocolate on the inside, but no third to complete the trifecta, but it was delicious, wet, and very, very, very chocolatey.

9/10- NOM NOM

You can order any cake truffles from Candice at her website, cacaobakery.etsy.com, and she makes customized flavors, too. I'd like to see a peanut butter, personally!