Contradict, right or wrong?

“Employ the power of positive quitting. Most of us view quitting as something negative, but it’s not. ‘Winners never quit,’ we’re told, when, in reality, winners quit all the time: choosing to stop doing things that aren’t creating the results they desire. When you quit all the things that aren’t working for you, when you quit tolerating all the negative things that hold you back, you’ll create a positive ‘charge’ in your life as well as create the space in your life for more positive experiences.” — Jim Allen

I probably could simply post this quote and leave it at that! However, what this reminds me of is the “CONTRADICTIONS” we face on a daily basis. I remember talking with a newcomer and his sponsor one day, the conversation got a bit stressed when the newcomer said “Yeah But”. Of course the sponsor chimed in, “anything after But is BS”… The newcomer quickly responded, that is BS in itself, how about this, “BUT, for the grace of God”! hmmmmm…

I have said it many times, our brains search for meaning in every new experience and if there is a significant contradiction we are confused. Of course in the world of addiction, treatment and recovery those of us looking to be a helpful hand believe that the individual is resistant, fighting us, in denial or some other negative. However, as I have come to find when someone is fighting a suggestion it is usually because they do not understand the “Why”. When someone is focused on the contradiction it is because they are confused.

If my mission is to help, well then how am I helping if I am confronting the individual aggressively? I am pushing them away from honestly appraising the suggestion. When it comes to “quitting” well the main shift for me has been making the decision to remain abstinent, permanently. I didn’t quit, I surrendered! Life is good!