Novelist and Reviewer:
Author: The Other Book, The Liberators. The Darkening Path Trilogy: The Broken King, vol. 1;
The King's Shadow, vol. 2, and The King's Revenge, vol. 3.
Also The Double Axe, a retelling of the Minotaur story.

The Darkening Path

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Awards: David Guterson wins

I went to my first Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award in 2004, when Tom Wolfe won the gong for a bracing scene in I Am Charlotte Simmons; his famous white-suited back was seen leaving as the announcement was made (or so the compere, Alexander Waugh, claimed; he of course wasn't actually there.)

Barbara Windsor, after hearing a passage from Christos Tsiolkias

The awards, which take place at the In and Out Club, in St James', are usually a joyous occasion, full of mirth and merriment; initially intended, when instituted by the late Auberon Waugh, to gently discourage the extraneous insertions of sexual writing into otherwise good books. Whilst there is no general theme, I have noticed a tendency towards sea creatures in writing about sex; this was very much present last night, in Dori Ostermiller's passage: "For a moment, two moments, three, we’re part of the same organism: some outrageous sea creature washed up and tangled on the shore, terrifying beautiful, beyond hope," which is as interesting an exposition of the beast with two backs as any I've heard.

Since my association with the magazine (I started as a lowly, wet-behind-the-ears General Assistant, and am now a slightly loftier Contributing Editor, which means I get to sit in the armchair) I've seen Giles Coren win the gong for describing a penis as leaping around like a showerhead in a bath; and, if my memory serves me correctly, ejaculating in a Z - "like Zorro." Rachel Johnson and Iain Hollingshead both accepted with pleasure - particularly Johnson, who threw off her coat on stage; Hollingshead was wrapped in a Valkyrie-like embrace by Courtney Love, who presented the award. (What I remember most about Love is how sweet she was - she wore spectacles, and reading out her speech she came across more like a librarian addressing a room full of children than a ripped-dress-wearing rock goddess. I still didn't quite manage to pluck up the courage to speak to her though.)

Last night was the 19th ceremony, and to my mind it was one of the best yet. Literary figures were out in force: novelist Edward St Aubyn looking very smart; satirist Ian Hislop looking exceedingly hunky and chipmunky; philosopher A C Grayling's noble leonine magnetic mane was a feature. There were others: I did see Nancy Dell'Ollio quaffing champagne. The passages were read out by actress and writer Lucy Beresford, paired with writer Arthur House (looking brilliantly spindly as he enunciated some meaty scenes). Both were excellent - drawing out innuendo from pauses and emphases without being overly camp or blatant. Alexander Waugh was on the toppest of top form: a passage from Chris Adrian's The Great Night ("He came and came and came and fell backward, as if through a mile of air or a lifetime, to land on the soft grass with a noise like his name, feeling like he was saying his name properly for the first time") caused him to recite a limerick:

There once was a man from KildareWho was screwing his wife on the stair.When the Bannister brokeHe quickened his strokeAnd finished her off in mid air.

Waugh's explanation of the Murakami - "about a cult that worships small
people that come out of other people's mouths" - caused one of the biggest
laughs of the night.

One indicator of a passage's success or failure - at least, in terms of gruesomeness rather than the elusive quality of "badness" - was the expression on actress Barbara Windsor's face. You could call it the Barbarometer. She sat by the edge of the stage; most provoked mild horror, and Barbarometer readings of between 19.5 (Haruki Murakami) to 80 (David Guterson). The one from Christos Tsiolkas' made her look as if something worse than usual had just happened in Eastenders. Barbarometer reading: 1000. Tsiolkas was nominated this year as well as last - the only time this has happened. He did, after all, suggest last year that the only pleasure Literary Review staff managed to get was "jerking each other off at Eton." So that was his reward.

Windsor was a fantastic prize-giver, with a charming mixture of pretended (I thought) prudishness and winning charm - unlike Michael Winner, last year, who was rude and boorish (he changed his tune when boos came from the crowd.) And David Guterson's acceptance letter (read out by his publisher, Michael Fishwick) was apt. His book, Ed King, is a retelling of Oedipus Rex. And as Guterson said, it was Oedipus who invented bad sex.

People tend to get themselves into a tizzy about the Bad Sex awards - particularly ones who attribute prurience, or inverse prudery, or titillation to the awards, suggesting that they are on a par with furtive adolescent fumblings. But what they really are is a celebration - of writing, and of writers, and an opportunity to laugh in a world that's increasingly characterised by dullness.

BOOK THREE: THE DARKENING PATH

Other Social Media Type Things

Quotes

Praise for The Double Axe

"I began to leaf through, then could not put the book down, so easy to read it was like being in a trance. You can virtually taste the blood, smell the sea breezes, touch the stone walls of the palace as you run your hands along them, inhabit the strong young body of the 13 year old narrator and feel his fear and exhilaration. The pages almost turned themselves as my brain was effortlessly filled with data normally the preserve of scholarly classicists." Mary Killen, The Lady

"Womack’s fifth novel, unsettling, original and absorbing, shows him at the height of his powers." Imogen Russell Williams, Literary Review.

"Learned and exciting." Suzi Feay, Financial Times.

"...a clever rummage through the myth that manages to turn it on its head and recast it in a new light... promises great things to come." Toby Clements, The Telegraph.

" You should try this book. The spare, simple narrative tightens the tension in every page and keeps you reading. There is suspicion, trust, betrayal, and death. Curses, prophecies and magic. Excellent stuff!" Reading Matters.

Praise for The King's Shadow

"The King's Shadow, like The Broken King and Womack's two previous books, remains full of atmosphere, menace and lightly-worn learning. Classical influence is evident in the lunar names of King Selenus and his daughter and in the compass directions of the Roman winds; and there are nice, unsettling touches of warped courtliness and chivalry throughout. A darkly disconcerting high fantasy, in the vein of Alan Garner or Susan Cooper, it should appeal to adventurous young readers." - Imogen Russell Williams, Literary Review

"Womack delivers a whole, satisfying story ... Giants, dwarfs and magic all bubble in the mix - along with a dash of romance." Suzi Feay, The Financial Times.

Praise for The Broken King

"Philip Womack is one of the best contemporary writers of children's fantasy... There's a real sense of deepening menace... will please any young fantasy fan." Philip Reeve, author.

"[Womack] does conjure an eerie poetry of the subconscious, a kind of Alice in Terrorland." Suzi Feay, The Financial Times

"A magical story full of powerful images and unexpected consequences." Julia Eccleshare, Lovereading4Kids

"The Broken King is superbly written and totally gripping, and I want the next bit now." Kate Saunders, Literary Review.

"Like Alan Garner, Philip Womack takes ancient fairy-tales about searching for a child kidnapped by dark magic, and turns it into a haunting adventure exploring love, courage, fear and friendship. Written with sensitivity, intelligence and conviction, it's the kind of classic story readers can't get enough of." Amanda Craig

"A cracking pace, enigmatic characters and terrifying adversaries will have you clamouring for the next in the series. " - Sarah Naughton

Praise for The Other Book

"Philip Womack is a writer of huge talent" - Artemis Cooper in The Daily Telegraph'Womack is not simply writing for children, he is, like many of the best children's writers, remembering how it felt to be a child'. Roz Kaveney in Times Literary Supplement

'A ripsnorting children's adventure ... the helter-skelter pace will keep any right-thinking ten year old hooked.' Archie Bland in The Spectator

Praise for The Liberators

What is so rewarding about Womack’s book is that the quality of the writing is good enough to slow you down. From the “pall of fear” that “hung over London as its citizens mobbed around, uncertain of the dangers that hid in their midst” to the conversations between children and adults, the pace and mystery are underscored by a poet’s imagination. This is a proper, copper-bottomed magical story of the kind once written by Alan Garner and John Masefield, and it uses the sinister side of Greek myth with brio.' Amanda Craig, The Times

About Me

Principally a writer, of four novels: The Other Book, The Liberators, The Broken King and The King's Shadow; and a reviewer; as well as a creative writing workshop leader, lecturer and contributing editor.