Suppose you were in the cabinet-refacing business trying to sell
your services door-to-door. You walk up to a residence, ring the
bell, and when the surly homeowner comes to see who's
interrupting his ballgame, you utter only two words: "Cabinet
refacing." That's it. Or maybe you make it into a
question: "Cabinet refacing?" Either way, you're
going to get a door slammed in your face and never again believe a
welcome mat.

I exaggerate to make a point. Merely identifying what you're
selling is no way to sell it--yet many entrepreneurs take this
route in their advertising, claiming that creative advertising is
not their forte. I'm here to tell you that shouldn't be a
concern. Early last year in this column, I did an emergency
headline transplant on a brochure that had the cover heading
"Corporate video services." I found out that the company,
among other things, tries to interest medical professionals in
promoting their various procedures via video. So I recommended a
new headline that asked "Doctor, have you ever considered
waiting-room videos to promote your services?" It's not
cute, clever, witty or creative, but it piques the curiosity of the
prospect in a way the original brochure never would.

So the message is this: If you start your ad or brochure by
merely identifying your business category, you risk getting a
salesperson's brushoff in the form of a turned page or crumpled
brochure. But if you give prospects a few provocative words,
you've got a far better chance of getting them interested in
the rest of your message.

That's my recommendation to Michael Caines, who wrote
recently. Caines operates First Class Inc., a "letter
shop" service in Chicago that handles laser printing,
inserting, mail sorting and managing mailing lists for direct-mail
advertisers. This is an invaluable service for direct marketers who
want to hand over the copy for a personalized sales letter, along
with a list of prospects it's going to, to a company who can
handle the rest; First Class sees to it that the letter is
word-processed, stuffed and mailed.

But I'm afraid Caines is not going to attract a lot of new
clients with the title of his current brochure. The cover headline
merely reads "Direct Mail Services," followed by the
subhead "to help you succeed." Inside his brochure, he
makes a decent case for giving First Class a call. But prospects
may not care what's behind the curtain if the opening act--the
cover headline--falls flat.

Jerry Fisher is an advertising copywriter, consultant and
author of Creating Successful Small Business Advertising
($39.95), available by calling (800) 247-6553. If you'd like
Jerry to consider your materials for a makeover in this column,
send them to "Advertising Workshop," Entrepreneur,
2392 Morse Ave., Irvine, CA 92614, or contact Jerry via America
Online at Jerry228@aol.com

First Impression

When I create a brochure for a client, I put at least 50 percent
of my time into making the cover as enticing as I can. And
that's not easy. The American public is deluged with so many
advertising images on any given day that we are desensitized to all
but the most interesting of solicitations. A famous director of TV
commercials recently said he turns down lucrative assignments to
create automobile commercials because the only cars that can truly
turn heads are $100,000 Italian sports cars. He's got a point,
and it applies to Caine's efforts as well: He needs to create a
brochure cover that has the power to arch a few eyebrows and drop a
few jaws.

But remember, you don't have to be a clever wordsmith or
creative genius to make this happen. There are some tricks you can
learn to make the process a lot easier. One way to start off on a
headline-hunting safari is to find a good headline used in a field
totally unrelated to yours and mold it into the new context. If you
start looking at other ads with such appropriation in mind,
you'd be surprised how many ideas pop into your head for your
own promotions.

Just to get you started in the right direction, here are a few
solid headlines I uncovered and how I would re-cast them for use in
other industries.

Original: "Who else wants a supermodel's
figure?"

Revised: "Who else wants a pro golfer's swing?"
(for golf lessons)

Original: "Why some people almost always make money in the
stock market"

Revised: "Why some brokers almost always land the big
listings" (recruitment for real estate agents)

Original: "Five familiar skin problems: Which do you need
to overcome?"

Revised: "Five home clutter problems: Which do you want to
solve?" (custom closet makers)

Thinking this way gets you out of the rut of sticking with the
one approach most practiced in your industry.

That said, what do I recommend Caines do to liven up his
brochure cover? I decided to borrow a headline I used to promote a
national magazine a few years ago. The new headline: "There
are 3 secrets to direct-mail success. (And you already know 2 of
them.)" Let's talk about what this headline offers:

1. It uses the word "secrets," a
provocative, headline-enhancing word I've been promoting
in this column recently because of its curiosity-arrousing appeal.
Everybody wants to know secrets, especially as they relate to
business success. So this alone could increase the chances of
getting the brochure opened.

2. The phrase "and you already know two of them" is an
irresistible teaser to get readers to flip open the brochure to
learn what these two secrets are, as well as the one they
didn't know. What are the three secrets in this instance? The
first two could be a smart marketing approach and a targeted
mailing list. And, obviously, the third secret component is the use
of the mailing services of First Class. I think Caines can address
the first two elements in short order inside his brochure and then,
of course, elaborate substantially on secret number three. This
cover refresher should help Caines get his brochure to work harder.
And, by the way, a good testimonial wouldn't hurt either.

Go Your Own Way

If you've been in the same business for a while, often all
you're conscious of are the successful advertising approaches
in your field. As a result, you and your competitors are going
after the same prospects in virtually the same way. (The
cents-per-minute wars of long-distance phone services come to
mind.) In some cases, this may be a perfectly acceptable way to get
your fair share of the profits, live comfortably and avoid risky
forays into uncharted territory. But if you're just keeping
your head above water, your goal should be to break away from the
pack, and your advertising needs to reflect that. This is another
good reason to scout out advertising in industries far removed from
your own for a possible way to shatter the mold.