Pastoral Ramblings

Main menu

Post navigation

The Monday Morning Quarterback

As a pastor, there’s nothing like having to compete with a big game between two highly skilled teams that happen to be playing just as church starts. I’d like to begin this week’s Monday Morning Quarterback with a word of thanks to the NFL for making sure that two highly skilled teams were not playing Sunday morning at 9:30 EST. Instead, it was just the Falcons and the Lions. We had one of our larger crowds at church yesterday morning.

By the way, the NFL is scheduling games in London each year to try and introduce the sport to an international market and get new fans. So which genius in the NFL front office decided to use the Falcons and the Lions to represent their product? It’s sort of like trying to introduce someone to country music by giving them a Rascal Flatts cassette.

The Pittsburgh Steeler’s throwback uniforms are officially uglier than any other uniform in the history of mankind. Losing to the Steelers while they are wearing those uniforms is more embarrassing than getting pulled over and ticketed by a police officer on one of those Segway Scooters. The Colts lost to the Steelers while the Steelers were wearing those uniforms on Sunday. The Colts should just stop having a football team until they can talk Mr. Manning into coming back.

College Football

Let’s stop kidding ourselves and go ahead and make the college football playoffs as they should be. We could call it the Superior Entertainment Championship or SEC for short. Here’s how it would work. At the end of each season, you take the top three teams from the SEC West and the top team from the SEC East, make them play a couple of games and the last team standing is the winner. Just to keep everyone involved, the winner of the Big Ten would get to play Vanderbilt in the Outback Bowl every year.

One of the big problems in college football is that too many fans think that their team is better than it actually is. Here’s a quick test that I developed to help you to see if your team is bad.

1. Is the television play-by-play for your favorite team done by that same lady who does play-by-play for women’s volleyball?

2. Do the play-by-play announcers for your favorite team routinely start rambling on and on about their kids about midway through the second quarter?

3. Is your team a part of the ACC?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, your team is bad and should be forced to wear the Pittsburgh Steelers’ ugly uniforms.

Quick Hits

Somewhere in America, a man who looks just like Super Creepy Rob Lowe can no longer watch football games in public.