Well That Was Awkward...

Videogames have a long history of moments that are memorable
for many different reasons. GI has even has a "moments" feature that highlights
touching, shocking, or astonishing moments in gaming. While those events do
live on with many of us, there are also moments that leave you with a feeling
of, um, discomfort. Some of them are intentionally put into games; others are
there purely because of oversight or glitches. Whatever the cause, there are a
few games that stuck out to me the most. This list is limited to games I have
actually played, so while there might be moments even more awkward than these,
they aren't awkward to me if I never experienced them. So without further ado,
here are 5 moments from my own gaming experience that left me feeling a little
disturbed.

***Contains spoilers for Super Mario Sunshine, please skip
number 4 if you don't want this riveting ending to be ruined for you (and yes,
I'm rolling my eyes as I type this)***

5. Papa, what's that
man doing?

This is the question my son asked me when we were playing
Ring King, and this cut scene came on between rounds. When I first played this
game, I was about 8 and really never put much thought behind this scene. After
all, my main desire was for the scene to be over with so I could get back to
some more boxing action. Unfortunately for me, my son is in that "why" phase of
his life, and last week he posed this question during one of our Ring King sessions
and I couldn't help but laugh. It was pretty hysterical to me, but the levity
of the moment passed when I noticed my son staring at me. I don't know why I
panicked, but my mind raced to find an answer that would satiate his curiosity
and help me to avoid this topic in the future.

The trouble with giving a boring answer such as "He's just
tightening his trunks" is that it doesn't explain why I found it to be
particularly entertaining. He kept prodding, I kept dancing around this awkward
topic of conversation, and eventually I just suggested we play Excite Bike. I
think this goes without saying, but Ring King isn't going to get much playing
time in the near future.

4. How is that even physically
possible?!

When I got to this moment in Super Mario Sunshine, I was a
little thrown off. You finally are confronted with Bowser Jr., who makes the
stunning revelation that he's protecting his mother...Peach. This is not,
however, what makes this scene awkward. Peach's reaction to this is where
things got weird for me. One would suspect that her reaction would be "What the
%$#& are you talking about?!" or "Have you completely lost your mind?!" No,
instead she says "Oh, so you're
Bowser's son." Really? There was no denial or flat out rejection of such a
notion, rather a simple phrase that would indicate that some pieces of the
story were coming together for her. I was under the impression that now Mario
is the ultimate homewrecker, and worse was that I was actually helping this chubby
Italian version of Peyton
Flanders (+2 if you get the reference without clicking the link) in his
mission to ruin the Bowser family from a creepily ever after storybook ending.

All of this is revealed to be nothing but a fabrication by
Bowser Sr. later on, but by this time I had already been subjected to vomit
inducing mental images that could not be scrubbed from my mind with psychological
steel wool. Thanks Nintendo.

3. Nah Nah, Nah Nah,
dude looks like a lady!

Final Fantasy VII is one of those games that is flooded with
a plethora of stunning revelations and memorable sequences that have made this
entry in the series arguably one of the best. Square was not happy, however,
without adding in one of gaming's most awkward sequences as well. Cloud has to
sneak into Don Corneo's mansion to learn where he can find Tifa. Everything
about this mission is simply squirm inducing, from finding the perfect outfit
to convincing the Don that you're the "best catch," you're forced to go along
with fooling Corneo into believing that you'll give him a night he'll never
forget (cut to George Takei saying "indeed"). This was one part of the game
that could not end quickly enough for me, and it made me glad that my parents
never walked in and read the dialog.

2. President Johnson
shakes hands with Mr. Johnson.

Ah, Metal Gear Solid 2, you are a cornucopia of the awkward
and the strange. From naked cartwheels to semi-incestuous confessions, this
game could inspire a list all on its own. Of all the bizarre and ridiculous moments,
however, the scene where Raiden confronts President Johnson (pun intended?) has
to be the strangest. First of all, even if Johnson thinks Raiden is a woman, in
what universe is it ok to grab another person's crotch? Who does he think he
is, Bill Clinton? It's even more ballsy (yes, that pun was intended) to pull
this move when the crotch you're reaching for belongs to someone in possession of
a firearm. I understand that President Johnson eluded to having somewhat of a
death wish, but getting shot grabbing another man's junk is no way to go about
it. Why isn't this #1? Well...

1. Is that Jim Carey?

Yes, the fact that I have to admit that I played Catherine
is awkward and embarrassing enough. I played this game on the recommendation
from a friend (who is no longer allowed to recommend games to me) and I almost
didn't finish it. Almost. This is not a game I would recommend to anyone, and one
of the main reasons why is pictured above. This game goes where few games have
gone before, and pushes more than a few boundaries, but nothing leaves you
feeling more uneasy (and a bit nauseous) than being chased after by an Ace
Ventura gag gone horribly wrong. The sound effects make matters even worse. In
a game filled with cringe worthy experiences, the butt-monster stands heads and
shoulders above the rest. I think it
goes without saying, but I happily got rid of this game. If only I can get rid
of the images. Unfortunately for me, no amount of time spent on a therapist's
coach would do the trick.

Do you have any awkward moments of your own to share? They can't
be much worse than mine.