Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.

Site Wide Plots

Kaos :: The Beginning of the End☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.

Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.

☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.

Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.

Doppleganger Plot☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.

ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.

Cotm

Character of the Month for
June, 2017

WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!

Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.

With fire to keep us warm & tools we made from rocks and bones</style>

My-dus had told Gaucho to patrol. Well, actually he had told Gaucho to take the afternoon off to relax, and begin patrolling tomorrow, but Gaucho assumed it was safe to disobey this particular order. While he was a very reliable and loyal warrior, he wasn’t much for relaxing. He didn’t join the Throat to be an ornament, or to enjoy its comforts - he joined so that he could once again belong to something greater than himself, as he had once done in his previous band. Gaucho considered his herd family, almost automatically. While he appeared emotionless and primitive on the outside, truthfully he did form quite strong bonds and almost instantaneously. However, given his limited abilities when it came to speech, sparring was really the only outlet Gaucho had to express his love and loyalty to his new family. All he could give them were his skills as a warrior, and as such, he would make sure those skills were always ready for them.

And so, the large bay had begun a patrol of the Dragon’s Throat.

Regardless of the heat, Gaucho took his time surveying their borders - looking for places of strategy, and of weakness. He tossed his newly antlered head as he moved, snorting the dust from his nostrils. While he thought he may eventually acclimatise to the heat, he wasn’t so sure he would ever get used to the vast amount of dust constantly filling his muzzle. After about 10 minutes, a sheen began to cover his hide as his body began to sweat profusely. His barring and dorsal stripe became less pronounced as his body seemed to darken all over. As he moved, he extended his wings somewhat, to allow the cool breeze to stream under his feathers, cooling his flanks off. Up ahead, his blue-grey gaze could make out the naturally occurring lake, but in between himself and it, lay vast flat ground.

Wait.

Snorting, Gaucho scented another on the breeze. Casting his eyes about, he spotted a lighter coloured stallion just off to the left of his peripheral vision. Frowning, he noted the creature did not have wings. My-dus had told him that strangers were to be treated with respect, and so Gaucho resisted the urge to charge at the fellow. Still, he danced forward - a movement which was rather graceful for the larger creature - and spread his massive black wings, making himself appear even larger. Unicorn He thought as he moved closer, spotting the red horn jutting from Val’s forehead. However that wasn’t the only thing he noticed - as he drifted closer, Val’s scent wafted to him; he smelled of the dusty red-sands. Frowning, Gaucho realized that he must in fact be a member of the Throat as well. Soldjur? Gaucho wondered with a frown, trying to surmise whether this stallion was a warrior like he, and if so, would he spar?

Pawing the ground, standing about 10 feet away from Val, but directly in front of him, Gaucho grunted once again, tossing his antlered head impatiently. His sweaty frame began to prance lightly on the spot, his forelegs striking the ground with his massive hooves. Squealing an unmistakable cry of Come at me, bro, the bay waited to see if his challenge would be accepted.

Black hooves moved with renowned grace that hadn’t been around for months. After seeing the healer, the eleven-year light grey stallion Valentine felt to be in the best shape of his life. He had never felt so great, and he had spent most of the afternoon travelling the Throat, running in glee that was suited better for a horse in it’s youth. Though Valentine was far from being an old timer, for example, like the wise unicorn of the Aurora Basin Myrddin, he had felt that he was older than he was. He wouldn’t know what it was like to be older until he actually was, and he would try to make the best of his youth. The sand and dust of the desert clung to him, filling his nostrils and lungs like many of the other horses of the herd. He continued to walk through the blazing heat of the desert, and was surprised to find a lake in the middle of it. Running and playing like a colt was thirsty business, and he stopped to get a large and long needed drink. A breeze blew, one that cooled him down a little, but not enough to do much else. The desert was so strange to him, and he pondered, as he always did these days, what had brought him to the opposite of what he was born into. No, today was no the day for thinking. Today was a day for doing, for action, not cunning and empty words. It was a day filled with potential, a day that couldn’t be ignored. Onni had saved his life today, and he would surely never forget that. Suddenly, another breeze blew, and there was something different that caught the wind. A scent was carried downwind to him, and it was one that the heart stallion had never seemed on a horse before. It was a wild smell, one that was more pronounced. He turned his head half way in the direction of the smell, and saw a large male horse approaching him. This stallion was just a little taller than him, and had wings. He thought he would be a threat, but within the scent was that of which clung to his own coat. The strange beast strode towards him, and he was quite an interesting one at that. His wings were long and big, and he had some strange markings along his body, but he wasn’t one to talk. The strangest part about him was the bone that protrudes from his nostrils, and the antlers on his head. He saw they were strapped to his head, and there was some sort of object in between them as well. The stallion made strange movements, but being another stallion, he took it as a challenge to fight. The grey considered, and thinking it would only be beneficial, accepted his challenge. Having no more magic, he couldn’t produce flames, but that was all right. He charged at the brute, aiming his horn at the side of him, right under his right wing. He would past his large body by afterwards, and would turn quickly to face him for his attack.

[OCC:
Attack: Tends to scrape his horn on Gaucho’s right side right under his wing
Defense: Turns around and prepares for Gaucho’s attack
OCC Note: Sorry this was late, also Valentine doesn't have any magic, but you can use magic if you wish]
Strolling AlongTying my TongueGears are Shifting

I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.

With fire to keep us warm & tools we made from rocks and bones</style>

Gaucho was pleased to see the graying stallion accept his silent invitation to spar. In truth, Gaucho had never sparred with a Unicorn before, and was more than happy to test himself against whatever defenses such a creature might have. Surely he would need to be wary of the stallion’s horn - he would not be able to throw his weight around in the manner he normally did in spars. Were he to land wrong, or leave any part of his body exposed, that horn, already coloured bright red, might brighten with the addition of his own blood. Grunting, Gaucho felt his muscles quiver with apprehension; adrenaline coursing through the thick muscles of his chest. This would surely be an interesting fight - for while Gaucho appeared larger, possibly due to his colouring and the addition of his wings, he estimated that he and Valentine were actually quite close in height. In fact, even their breeding appeared to be similar given their lines and distributions. Despite the fact that Gaucho would not have any sort of clear advantage against the red-horned Stallion, he rose to the challenge none the less.

While playing the defense-card right off the bat was not normally Gaucho’s style, he was not particularly interested in being skewered either. Gaucho stood quite still while Val ran towards him - almost as if he didn’t intend to move. Given the distance between the two of them when Val began to rush at the bay, Gaucho could have easily moved out of the way, and yet he stood completely stock still. Muscles tense, Gaucho waited until the tip of Val’s horn just passed where Gaucho’s muzzle was, making it unlikely that his momentum would change. Lunging forward, Gaucho lowered his head slightly, aiming to deflect Val’s blow by stifling him with his antlers. He tried to aim his momentum as he lunged, so that is antlers would wrap around the front of Val’s face, and behind his ears - making it such that Gaucho’s forehead would hit squarely on Val’s right cheek, hoping to shove him back.

In order to fully push the stallion away without severely hurting his own neck, Gaucho was forced to move with Valentine, as he carried on. Pivoting on his hind legs, turning into the right, he thrashed with his front hooves, thrusting himself into a forward leap towards the Grey. Given that Val’s horn had already passed, Gaucho was more confident about throwing himself around, without any repercussions. Pushing off with his hind end as he turned with Val, he struck out with his front left leg, aiming for Val’s right shoulder. As his hoof slammed down, Gaucho reached out, teeth flashing, to try and bite at Val’s neck. Given that Val was moving forward, and Gaucho was leaping and kicking and biting, the bay’s momentum was decreasing. Not wanting to turn this into a race, especially in the hot sun, Gaucho tucked his muzzle to his right shoulder, and turned his considerable hind quarters towards the unicorn, bucking defensively towards Val’s right hip.

Deflecting Val’s initial blow had been bittersweet for the warrior. While naturally Gaucho did not want to be impaled by an already blood-red horn, if his blood was not spilled in battle, his magic could not take effect. He could fill it lurking in the back of his mind, urging him to spill his own blood - just a little nip to his knee, is all it would take. Was that crazy? Gaucho wasn’t sure - he had not yet had time to properly investigate his magic, or it’s source. For now, given that he hadn’t a clue who the Throat’s healer was, he decided it best to leave the blood spilling to the God’s, and his opponents. Although his heart was pumping fresh oxygen to his muscles, Gaucho was still not used to the heat of the Throat. Was it simply psychological, that the warmer air did not seem to quench his muscles need for oxygen? Or was there some meteorological fact of the matter, about how increasing heart rate was effected by warmer climates? Now was certainly not the time for such thoughts, but given the sweat already on his chest and between his thighs, Gaucho wondered if it wouldn’t be a good question to ask the sar-gents or My-dus about later.

[WC: 744
Summary: Gaucho stands still until Valentine is close. Once his horn passes Gaucho's muzzle, he tries to push Val away by head-butting him in the cheek, which would wrap his horns around the front of Val's face, and behind his ears. Pivoting with Val, he lunges forward and tries to slam his front left hoof into Val's right shoulder, and bite his neck. Turning to the right, Gaucho bucks at Val's right thigh.

Attack 1/2: Tries to slam his hoof into Val's shoulder; tries to bite; bucks at Val's thigh.
Defense: Tries to knock Val away with his antlers, bucks defensively to cover his exit. ]

As the grey sped past, he realized he was heading into the trap. The brute knew how to fight, and the red heart stallion did not. He was much better as such a thing than he was, and it was clear that he was not prepared for this. Next thing he knew things were happening quickly. His antlers wrapped themselves around his head, like snakes wrapping themselves around prey. The ends bit into his skins, causing deep scratches on his cheeks and the top of his head. Blood started to drip out in drops, but it was still blood nonetheless. He saw, in the corner of his bloody red eyes, he saw a hoof fly towards his shoulder. But he was far too out of range for the hoof to hit him. Teeth were barred next to his neck, but the bay missed, biting at the top of his mane, ripping out some hair follicles. Next thing he knew, however, he was hit squarely in the thigh with two hooves, and it sent pain shooting up his nerves. He had bucked and his aim wasn’t off, and he left a large mark on his light grey skin. The grey felt a feeling he never had before on the battlefield: fury. He was pissed, some blood running down his face on to the desert ground below. He made him bleed, and he wanted to make him do the same. The adrenaline in his blood moved his forward, pushing his body hard so that the pain he was feeling on his head and his thigh was just a tingle now. He would pay for it later, that was for sure, but for now it didn’t matter. He ran after the other stallion. Having forced him to get brutal, he used his breed’s jumping abilities to help his aim. He jumped a couple of feet in the air, his grey body a lithe figure in the air, aiming his horn at the beast’s right side, by his rump. He made a sort of crash landing, and almost fell, but it pushed him more forward than he had expected. He was moving with Gaucho just like he had moved with him, and his horn would have made a diagonal slash if his aim was true like Gaucho’s had been. He kept moving with him, and then getting to the front of his running body, barred his teeth at the stallion and aimed a bite at his lower shoulder and neck. He snapped once, hoping to land some blow and feel flesh in his mouth. He moved back then, running to the right, and slowing down. He hit the brakes and made a circular turn, running back to stop behind the brute. In that he made a defensive position, his horn pointed in Gaucho’s general direction. He felt his legs shake, and his adrenaline was wearing off, and his leg hurt like all hell was breaking loose. He made a quick glance in its direction, and it was redder than it had been, and he could definitely see were the stallion had kicked, leaving indents. Legs still shaking, he stood in his defensive position.

[OCC:
Injuries: Hoof attack-missed; Bite-missed; Buck- hit; Got his head caught in Gaucho’s antlers and is bleeding a little bit, blood is clotted in next post
Attack: Ran after Gaucho and jumped, moving his horn downwards and tried to make a diagonal slash on his right rump side; tried to bite his right shoulder/neck
Defense: Moves in a defensive position, legs shaking from his leg hurting]
Strolling AlongTying my TongueGears are Shifting

I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave can you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain..

As Gaucho spun around, feeling the pleasurable sensation of having flung Valentine with his antlers - for that was how it felt to him, he briefly wondered if this stallion he was sparring with, was disfigured. As his body pivoted to follow alongside Valentine, and he lashed out with his left hoof, aiming for Val’s shoulder, he felt the frustrated woosh as his hoof connected with nothing but air. By this point, his jaw had already been opened wide to grab a mouthful of neck-skin, and yet he came away with thick black hair instead. As he spun around to buck, he at least felt reassured that some part of the grey stallion was where he thought it should be.

Charging forward, Gaucho flicked an ear back, listening to the sound of Valentine’s hooves on the flat Throat terrain. Given their relatively equal sizes and builds, Gaucho could hear when Val’s hooves left the ground. The image of that blood-red horn piercing his coat was still fresh in Gaucho’s mind. As the sound of only one thundering pair of hooves resounded in his ears, Gaucho slammed on the breaks. Dust flew from his hooves as all four legs fought to come to a screeching halt, digging deep into the dry firm surface of his homeland. He could felt his body swaying, as his front hooves tried to steady himself. Shooting out his wings to try and aid with the stabilization would be, in hindsight, a mistake.

As Valentine crash-landed in the dust next to Gaucho, his horn had been ready to pierce the muscly flesh of his right thigh. However, given that Gaucho had dramatically slowed down his forward movement, Valentine’s jab had missed it’s mark; but it had not missed. With an infuriated scream, Gaucho craned his neck around in time to see Valentine’s horn piercing through the soft flesh of his wing tip, about 3 inches in. Scrambling forward so as not to give the unicorn time to further impale his appendage, Gaucho grunted with a paralyzing pain as he pulled his wing off of Val’s horn, only to hear the stallion’s teeth snapping after him. Although the wound was bleeding a little, in fact it was not so bad - but it felt far worse. Since there were so many nerves close to the surface of the skin which was flayed, the injury hurt far more than it should have, and Gaucho favored it close to his flank as if the wound had been much deeper.

Spinning round, with his right wing tucked to his side, his blue-gray eyes had time to see Valentine stopping and lowering his horn defensively. The pain which seemed to flair all through his wing-joint prevented any rational thoughts of ‘going easy’ on Valentine. They were after all, in the same herd, and this was just a friendly spar. But Gaucho was not the most rational of creatures, and right now, the blood lust which was boiling inside of him was threatening to spill over.

And he wasn’t about to stop it.

Angrily, furiously, Gaucho let his magic spill out of his antlers, causing the beads in his dream catcher to glow. In a large wave of smoke, the face of a grizzly bear began to form, followed by it’s hulking shoulders and body. It glided over Valentine in a shimmer of spirit-mist, before landing and taking a firmer shape behind him. Roaring with a fury that Gaucho felt, the massive bear moved towards Valentine, it’s jaws snapping.

Hoping that Valentine would be distracted by the bear flying overhead, he charged forward, lowering his antlers defensively. He would settle for hitting the stallion in the neck, but would crash into him head-first if he was stupid enough to meet Gaucho’s charging massive frame at a standstill. Roaring again, the bear moved closer, it’s massive paws swiping precariously at Valentine’s haunches, as if daring him forward. (Either hitting or not..) Propelled forward by his momentum, as Gaucho passed Valentine, he aimed a kick to the left side of Val’s body, aiming only haphazardly - he would be satisfied regardless of where the kick landed, so long as he could feel the stallion’s body beneath his hooves.

As his hooves touched the firm Throat ground once again, Gaucho grunted tiresomely. The heat had taken its toll on his large dark body; My-dus had told him to take the afternoon off, to begin patrol tomorrow. As he raced away from Val, the naturally occurring lake glimmered before him. While he wouldn’t take the afternoon off - he surely would take a dip before continuing.

[Attack 2/2: Spirit-bear. Charges at Val with his antlers, kicks at him as he passes.]

Stab my heart like a stick in the mud
Cut my chest just to see the blood

"Speech."
The grey was in pain, which wasn’t good. The blood on his head had long dried, and was flaking off, but his leg hurt like hell. He could tell he wasn’t the only one getting angry all of a sudden, and the fight had seemed to get to both of the stallion’s heads. He snorted, flaring his nostrils, getting the air out of his lungs and bringing in new air. The heat made his fur stick to him, and dust was clouded around his eyes a little. But he could still see perfectly fine, it was just a tad uncomfortable. The beast before him made his move. He glowed, or rather, his dream catcher in the center of his tied on horns did, and he was able to cast something Valentine never thought was possible. A bear made of mist came right next to him and roared. The light grey backed up, startled by the form, and was distracted. However, that didn’t last for long, and he saw the brute move, aiming his antlers at him. He wouldn’t fall for the again, and he simply ran away. Giving that his own leg was still bothering him, his flight instincts took hold of him and he ran out past to the opposite side of the battlefield. When he looked back Gaucho was looking at the lake, and he decided to come back and join him. “Well that was some spar, yes? You’re much better than I am. Though we tussled each other up maybe a little too much.” The grey laughed, and dove into the water.

.

Stop the presses cause I'm killing time
Won't you be my bloody valentine?

template by revo. <3
manip by twiwolf.deviantart.com

I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.

[Realism]+ 1| Defense: Tucking Gaucho's head to try and catch Valentine's with his antlers. This defense was a bit confusing at first, but after I read it from start to finish I saw where you were going with it, and I actually think it was very clever.0 | Almost powerplay: "..making it such that Gaucho’s forehead would hit squarely on Val’s right cheek.." Because of the careful wording about aiming and hoping before this sentence, I decided that you weren't trying to force this on Valentine, but just reading this but itself, can you see how it seems directive? Instead of "would hit" you should use "would likely hit" or "might hit". Even throwing an if statement at the end would have helped tremendously. "Would hit squarely IF his aim was true", blah blah blah.+ 1| Attack: Trying to strike at Valentine's right shoulder.+ 1| Attack: Biting at Valentine's neck. Since you are attacking his right side just a moment ago, I filled in the blank, but make sure to specify next time.+ 1| Attack: Bucking at Valentine's right hip.

[Prose]+ 1| Emotion+ 1| Easy Read: the first defense was a little sketchy, but overall this was a breeze to read.+ 1| FlowVALENTINE -- post 2

[Realism]0 | Injury: Taking the antlers realistically with scratches. No mention of pain. You have a good simile at the top, but that still doesn't tell me how Valentine feels.- 1| Defense: Gaucho's antlers are attached to Valentine's face, but somehow his legs can't reach his shoulder? You do not mention swerving out of the way here or any explanation for why Valentine is out of range.+ 1| Defense: redirecting the bite toward the topline of his mane.0| Injury: Ripping out of hair follicles. No mention of stinging or pain, but even if it was painless you need to mention it.0 | Defense: It is unwise to not have redirected this to a hip, which is more sturdy in comparison to the thigh. Of all of the attacks to take during this round, the kick was the most severe. You did describe the wound and pain, but in the future, try to avoid injuries to the legs!- 2| Powerplay: Gaucho is not running away, so there is no need for Valentine to "run after" him. Secondly, here: "He was moving with Gaucho just like he had moved with him, and his horn would have made a diagonal slash if his aim was true like Gaucho’s had been. He kept moving with him, and then getting to the front of his running body, barred his teeth at the stallion and aimed a bite at his lower shoulder and neck." Gaucho was slowing toward the end of his last post right before his kick, which makes me believe that he was coming to a stop after his buck. In order to move with Gaucho, Valentine would have to be stopping, but you keep mentioning him going forward, which means you are assuming that Gaucho is moving. Unlike in your post, where you dictated that Valentine would continue moving passed Gaucho, Aud did not do this here.+ 1| Attack: Trying to slash Gaucho's right hip with his horn.- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "...then getting to the front of his running body, barred his teeth at the stallion and aimed a bite at his lower shoulder and neck." Only Gaucho can decide if Valentine makes it to his front end. You can write Valentine as "trying to reach the front of his running body", but you cannot say that he did. Gaucho can choose to turn or speed up or stop or anything here.+ 1| Attack: Biting at Gaucho's shoulder/neck. You do not mention side, but it's inferred from the previous attack.

[Realism]+ 1| Defense: Redirecting the jab to his wing. While I normally do not recommend pegasus injuring their wings (they are very delicate and sensitive in comparison to the rest of their bodies), since this is a ground fight it did not matter so much.- 1| Dropped attack: You mention the snapping of Valentine's bite, but you do not specify whether it lands or not.+ 1| Attack: Charging at Valentine.0| Attack: Kicking at Valentine's left side. This kind of assumes that Valentine has not just run foward and toward the right, because you do not have him boxed in by anything on his sides, and I find it highly unlikely he won't have moved.- 1| Borderline powerplay: "... as Gaucho passed Valentine..." Here you are making the same mistake as teeroo, where you are basically defining Valentine's movements by describing Gaucho's. You have to word this better: "as Gaucho passed where he believed Valentine to be" or something.

[Realism]0| Side Note: the bear was intended to land behind Valentine, which is clearly stated. You did not mention moving from your original position, so Gaucho's aim should be accurate.+ 1| Defense: running to the opposite side to avoid the charge.- 1| Dropped Attack: failure to mention Gaucho's kick. I'm assuming this was defended with the running away, but you still need to mention it.VALENTINE

[Bonus]+ 1| Surroundings: Having the heat affect Valentine at the end and the arid desert dry his blood quickly.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You did well against an experienced fighter. You had typical rookie mistakes, but one thing I did notice was that you had a good grasp on time frames throughout the fight. I think you need to consider the severity of attacks and which ones you should dodge and which ones you should take. Also, do not forget details, details, details! Tell me which side your injury is on, how severe it is, and whether or not it hurts. Avoid directive language in the future, and you should be well on your way to becoming an excellent fighter. Good job!GAUCHO

[Bonus]+ 2| Breed comparison: You are mindful as ever about Gaucho's size, but it is not necessarily much different than Valentine's, so your usual tactics weren't used here.+ 1| Surroundings: Mentioning the heat and how it affects Gaucho throughout the battle. You did not really use your surroundings to your advantage in battle.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]+ 1| Attack: I thought it was extremely creative that you tried to catch Valentine in Gaucho's antlers.

Comments: You are still struggling with powerplay! This time it was less severe, so you are improving, but make it as non-directive as possible when you are describing the position of your opponent. Do not assume anything about them, and try to reread anything that involves them. If it sounds like you are determining anything about their position that you cannot infer directly from their previous post, change it. Make it less powerful by adding "might be"s or something. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your posts as always. You have a good grasp on Gaucho in general, and I await your further improvement!TOTAL
Valentine - 57
Gaucho - 64

In my first attack, I do specify which side, it's on Gaucho’s right side right under his wing

For Gaucho's antler and kicking attack , Valentine doesn't feel pain because adrenaline is pumping through his veins, but he doesn't feel pain of the scratches on his head, because the pain in his leg is much worse. This is mentioned in both posts, but I did leave out the hair.

The reason why I said Gaucho was "running away" was because that's how Valentine perceived it.

I didn't mention Gaucho kick because I guess Valentine wouldn't have seen it. My last post was rushed and I didn't go everything correctly.

It doesn't need to be changed, but I wanted to claify somethings, because I thought I did mention some things that you said I didn't, but I might be wrong. Anyways, thank you.

I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.

I guess I skipped over the second right in the sentence of the first attack. I will award you the point.

Even when pain is not felt, in the case of adrenaline, this has to mentioned. You do not specifically state that the pain is dulled by adrenaline in response to Gaucho's attack. Unrealistic use of adrenaline to dull pain entirely would also garner you a -1.

Rushing posts is not excuse for skipping details. Every attack must be accounted for in the following post.

I fully understand rushing is not an excuse, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. Thank you for adding the points, and I understand the adrenaline usage now, I'll know that for next time. Still, thank you for the help!

I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.