Sunday, May 23, 2010

Being the world's least professional blogger, I'm going to be a bit late on this post. I was suddenly called away to a mysterious castle to face an ancient nemesis. Anyway, comic 743 deserves a lot of time, so I am just going to wait till tommorow. In the meantime, you guys are all better at this than I am at this point, so start talking about the new comic if you would like.

Oh, those nerds. They deserve to get laid because they are so familiar with the female anatomy and everything! Why do women always go for bad boys who don't even know the difference between the labia majora and the perineum?!

This comic has two problems: it was done by Randall, therefore carries with it the disgusting, vomit-inducing legacy of sexkcd; and the dialogue was Randall-level terrible, which makes the joke even fouler. Judging by the circumstances, I guess the second guy would start off saying "oh, it was terrible, absolutely terrible. I mean, I wanted to be prepared...". There's no need to rush things so much just to make the comic work in three panels! The guy just goes off in that rant as if it was the most natural thing in the world... though, in xkcdland, I guess looking at a "walkthrough for sex" is not very unnatural at all.

There's definitely a joke in #744, but I've got a reflexive squick when it comes to sexckd and the dialogue doesn't do it justice. The title text would probably have been a better way to go with the comic, even if that would have required a) actual artwork and b) a violent ramping in the nsfw quotient.

#743 is just a blatant paid advert for the FSF. Guaranteed that Richard Stallman considers it to be Shakespearean.

Oh fuck no! I never know how to respond to haters properly. Am I supposed to submit details of the life which I do, in fact, possess? Point out the absurdity of a life spent in telling others to get lives? Or simply spurn the comment with a GTFO? Screw getting a life, I need to get a robust decision-making schema.

Anyway the new comic has a pregnant-pause second panel. Weren't we talking about that a few comics ago? Something something pacing something flow. Except it kinda sucks the wind out of the whole thing. I think it'd work better with just the two panels, and maybe leave out the first guy's reaction to make it more deadpan instead of "THAT'S THE JOKE."

"xkcd is aawweeesoommmeee!" Alas, this deception lacked the guile to convince even himself... Maybe... Just maybe... NO. NO.

"Wow. Just checked in here for the first time in months. This site is STILL GOING? Get a life, you assholes!" He wailed as his bloated, cheesit stained fingers flailed futilely in the air. That voice... Rage and sloth personified. His pathetic screams loud enough to wake his dear mother, who had previously been sleeping soundly. Mascara diluted tears forming vertical rivers of despair...

Woah, people actually liked the speedrun joke? I thought it was nerd pandering and lacking in actual cleverness or humour. It's the kind of simple joke you come up with while hanging out with friends and that isn't funny to people who weren't there at the time, except that in this case Randall decided to share it with the world.

Those people who found it funny because they're speedrun junkies, I guess you're the real target audience. If you were xkcd forumites this would be the point where you start saying GOOMH

@Jen I think people liked the joke because, while it has its share of pandering, its a self sustained joke which most people will get...it also has enough pandering that you feel fine about the joke. It may have been cheesy, but it lacks many of the things that makes XKCD bad.

"sex walkthough video." Sex... Walkthough... Video. It is called PORN. Who in their right mind would ever say that. Before I actually thought about the comic, it made me chuckle. Afterwards it just annoys me. No one would ever in the history of the world say this. It compleatly breaks the suspension of belief.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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