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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Here I Am

Over the last few years I have found myself with the same prayer on my heart:

"Here I am, send me."

In my heart I have longed to see what God has had planned for me. But when I get these tugs in my heart to "go", I suddenly doubt it must be from God and make up every excuse I can think of and try to rationalize my way out of it. Why don't I blindly trust Him?

I look at my daughter and she trusts and depends so completely and fully on me. She knows I will always be there to meet her needs, or even just hold her when she doesn't feel good. Why don't I depend and trust God like that? Why do I think twice and second guess Him? He created me, knows every tiny detail of me, He loves me, provides for me and will never leave me. So why don't I trust Him the way a little baby trusts her parents?

Things don't have to make sense to me. I can't worry about what others will say or think. I need to stop questioning and second guessing and I need to start trusting.

"If You say go, I will go
If You say wait, I will wait
If You say step out on the water
and they say it can't be done
I will fix my eyes on You and I will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You"