Blog posts

Pfff! The best laid plans, eh? I feel so fatigued lately. Not tired, fatigued, a sort of tiredness that has sunk into my bones that I just can’t shake off. And I’m doing less and less as the weeks go by. Retirement? Fuck that, I’m like 20 years away from that ‘relief’ and I suspect if I were to ‘retire’ I wouldn’t be long for this world. “Did you hear about ‘Clodi’? Yeah, dude retired and two weeks later suffered a massive coronary and died.” That would be my retirement. Work 40 years, die after a two-week vacation.

Times like these are difficult for me to go through. I am super busy lately, aren’t we all? I’m trying to get my house ‘finished’. Anyone who has built their own house probably has an idea of what I am saying, it just never really feels ‘done’, does it? I made a master ‘To Do’ list about a year ago and have been knocking things off of it. Okay, so it’s a tiered ‘to do’ list, with an ‘A’, or 'priority list' and a ‘B’, ‘would be nice’ list. Of all the things on the ‘A’ list I have just two more: Finish the front deck and install the new water heater.

I am working on a bit of an advice site for the post apocalypse, styled more after Dear Abby, than Naked and Afraid, with dry humor thrown in. I call it "Advice for the Apocalypse" Probably I will poke at it from time to time as a way to at least write something on a weekly basis.

I bought a van. Well, traded my hybrid in on it, along with mucho-promises of dinero in the form of 69 months of payments for it. I’ve had it a few days and it…works. Not a mini-van, per se. A mini-cargo van, a Nissan NV200. It is soooo rustic in trim compared to my loaded C-MAX that I have an urge to ugly-cry when I remember I must use a KEY to unlock the door or start the engine. And it’s a 2017, so yeah, one year shy of the mandatory rear view cameras, shoulda bought this year’s model I guess. Still, it only had 400 miles on it, so yay!

06:56. Wake up, get up, shit, shower. Pop the vitamins and meds to force my body to go on. Get to the kitchen before I can debate the merits of disappearing. Prefill the coffee cups and French press with boiling water. Grind the coffee. Empty the press, pour in the coffee, fill it up. Think about my breakfast options, chose, like I always do for the egg on a piece of toast. Get the toast in. Grab butter, cheese, creamer and ketchup.

Well the past couple of weeks has seen the traffic to ctales grow tremendously! All from Russia, the Czech Republic and the Ukraine, mostly. I'm sure it was all bots and though I've done my best they make use up all my available memory again at some point in the future. It is pretty much a denial of service attack if they are continuously trying to create accounts or log into non-existent accounts.

Writing that is. I am sure it has to do with my mood and general outlook on life, the thing that is killing my writing productivity these days. The alternatives are too harsh to ponder, really; I got lazy. I am uninspired. I’m working like a slave at my day job and on the house.

I’ve been finding it hard to find time to write lately. When I have ‘free’ time it seems to turn into ‘me’ time. It feels like I get to the end of a day and have wasted another few hours of potential. It’s not just that either, there are so many good distractions and right now I am in need of distracting. At the end of the day I make choices and some days, weeks and months those choices are not the ones that lead me to happiness.