Thirty-two years ago, Dad came home with what could only be described as the Holy Grail of my childhood—Boba Fett. Dad was the kind of guy who once called Kenner, under the auspices of a local newspaperman, to ask if they were making a Yoda action figure and when it would arrive. In secret, he also raked together four proofs of purchase and sent off a check to Kenner and gobsmacked me and my brother with Boba's surprise delivery.

That comes to mind now because Skylanders, even in this digital age, will require parents, kids and fans of the toy/video game series to jump through similar snail-mail hoops to get their hands on the Sidekick toys that are exclusive to a new promotion with Frito-Lay. Even in our Internet age of downloadable content, redeemable codes and instant gratification, if you or your son, daughter, nephew, niece or cousin want one of these four exclusive figurines, you're going to have to sit down and put pen to paper to get it.

Thirty-two years ago, Dad came home with what could only be described as the Holy Grail of my…
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Most notably, you'll have to rank the four figurines in your written submission. You may ask for Terrabite, Trigger Snappy, Whisper Elf or Gil Runt in any order of preference, but there's no assurance you'll get your No. 1 (or No. 2.) It also requires the requisite check or money order (for $2) to cover shipping and handling, and the address goes to, yep, Young America, MN. And — and!!!!— they're going to make you WAIT at your goddamn mailbox for eight to ten weeks before you get your toy. Holy fucking shit, it only took 4 to 6 weeks for my best friend Richard to get Cobra Commander back in 1982.

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I'm halfway thinking Frito-Lay and Activision have concocted a deliberate throwback scenario to redeem this free offer, just to make its older fanbase (cough, cough, Fahey) feel like they're 11 years old again.