After making a total pig of myself at Christmas dinner, I took my dog for a walk on a splendid piece of government pork.

Seeing as how the whole Flight 253 business had yet to go down, the big national news was the sweet deal Senator Ben Nelson made in exchange for the crucial sixtieth vote to pass the health-care reform bill. Fuming about bribes and corruption and the Democrats' heinous plot to force socialism on free Americans, the Republicans immediately denounced it as the "Cornhusker Kickback."

And there I was, strolling down a long sidewalk that sucked up $500,000 in federal funds along with matching funds from the local government. And I thought, If we're supposed "think locally, act globally," maybe I should actually do a little local thinking.

So I called the editor of my local newspaper. His name is R.J. Marx, and he's one of those small-town newsmen with a deep and passionate knowledge of things like zoning laws and sewage systems, the meat and potatoes of retail politics. He told me that the street with the sidewalk — it's called Cherry Street — used to be a quiet country road. But the passing years brought more houses, which meant more kids and more dogs walking along the shoulder in the weeds and mud and also more drivers, who seem to think that Cherry Street is not a quiet residential road rich in kids and dogs but a mere shortcut to Route 35. The town has put up a couple of stop signs, but it didn't do the trick. So our elected representatives went to work.

"A lot of money for that sidewalk came from Sue Kelly," Marx told me. "As a matter of fact, when I was covering the 2006 election, I said the only thing Sue Kelly brought to Katonah was the sidewalk. That's her legacy."

He paused, tempered by the honest newsman's impulse to fairness. "She also was important in raising the profile of irritable bowel syndrome," he added.

I laughed.

"I'm not joking. She sponsored some bill about it. So you can say that when people remember Sue Kelly, it's going to be for the Katonah sidewalks and irritable bowel syndrome."

Point is, Kelly is a Republican. And she represented a heavily Republican district — until the last election, a Democrat had not served on our town board for twenty-five years. But the partisan rhetoric of national politics doesn't quite apply to the quantum world of local politics.

This is how R.J. broke our little corner of the heartland down for me:

"People here tend to think the Democrats want to bring more affordable housing, and they think Republicans are more likely to preserve land or enact stricter zoning laws. They think Democrats want to weaken zoning laws in order to build more affordable housing. Those are the big things."

So our Republicans are the conservationists fighting for more public land and our Democrats are the champions of the police officers and fire fighters who can't afford the stiff local rents.

"Those don't necessarily mirror national trends," R.J. adds.

No kidding.

Of course, land-use issues are different in rich communities like this, where open land is not only aesthetically pleasing but can increase the value of our homes. There's also reason to suspect that the real reason our local Republicans love nature is because it helps keep out minorities. And reason to suspect our Democrats are so sympathetic to the housing problems of police officers because "workforce" housing also means more diversity, a traditional Democratic cause.

But once again, things are not so simple.

"You know this whole playing-fields thing? We passed a referendum to build playing fields for our kids. Those would have been paid for by the county if Lewisborough had agreed to build affordable housing — I think it was one hundred units. But they said no, and as a result the voters had to pass a $3 million referendum to get the playing fields."

Damn Republicans, raising our taxes!

Except for one thing: the vote was unanimous.

Damn Democrats, voting against diversity!

So what's the partisan message?

"I couldn't even begin to tell you," Marx says.

Then there are sewage issues, a particular strength of our local Republicans — and no snickering from the cheap seats, please. "Republicans have done a really good job of understanding the water issues, which are extremely complicated — they involve the state, the county, the Department of Environmental Protection, there's a lot of history, and they understand it. The Democrats thought that if we had been more of a squeaky wheel we would have our sewers and our filtration plant, but there were laws preventing saying no town could build a waste-water filtration system — you can make all the phone calls you want, but unless you get those laws repealed, you aren't going to get the plant."

Meanwhile, in the town elections, the Democrats' big issue was getting the money to build a dog park.

As a consequence, Marx did what a lot of local Democrats do. "In my endorsement editorial, I endorsed three Republicans, even though — you know me — I wouldn't vote for McCain or Palin or any of those creeps with a gun to my head."

It pains him. "Our local guys will be sending people to constitutional conventions, they'll be nominating our next congressman or the next president. They're the ones who will be going to fundraisers. What we want is local people who are representative of us."

If only the Democrats would pay more attention to sewage...

Meanwhile, so many of my neighbors are enjoying the new Cherry Street porkwalk, there's a whole new group of people complaining about the speeding cars. So the new plan is to put up warning signs and repaint the road to make it look narrower, which has led a certain influential local Democrat — yes, I am speaking of Mark Hess, landscaping guru and bass-player extraordinaire — to argue for enforcing the existing speeding laws instead of wasting even money on social engineering. He sounds just like an NRA member!

And so our Little Big Government marches on — but at least it's on a sidewalk.

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