Last week, I got flak for maligning Cleveland in my Weekly Wrap intro. As is the case when unfortunate faux pas are made, the incident caused me to do some serious introspection. I stopped thinking about myself and my own prejudices so much, and instead started thinking of others.

For instance, I became deeply curious as to why any sane person would ever defend Cleveland. And in my quieter moments, there arose a more troubling, more global question as well:

By the time you read this, if I’m lucky, I’ve been to Blogworld Expo in New York, having presented a blockbuster session which wowed crowds who, overwhelmingly grateful, lavished much affection and chocolate on me, and have returned, safe and sound, to great fanfare and welcome.

If I’m not lucky, I’m still sitting in the Cleveland airport. You know … waiting for my flight to New York, delayed due to nasty storms.

Don’t let ANYONE tell you that there’s anything worse than being stuck in Cleveland.

I don’t mean to complain because I’m happy to have this gig, but honestly it’s kind of a rip-off that I do all this work on this wrapup and then realize that it’s going to run on the same day as the apocalypse. Although I have to admit that I’ve been suspecting as much ever since I learned about the often-unmentioned Fifth Horseman, “Satire with Limited Appeal.”

There’s really no way to win here. If I’m left behind, all of the evil is probably going to mess up my Wi-Fi signal… but if I get to ascend, chances are I’ll never get the comment notifications.

This week, I went to Target, bought a $30 desk, built a stand that would raise it 18 inches in the air, stuck my in-laws’ unused treadmill under it, and made myself a walking desk. (I know the monitor needs to move up. You’re looking at the 1.0 iteration.)

Yes, I know it’s a weird thing to do. Yes, I can actually work at it – blogging and all. And yes, there’s something wrong with me.

The other day, I was scheduling a teleseminar that I have on Monday, and I got totally paranoid again about time. Again.

See, I keep missing calls because I’ll plan something for Eastern and the other person will plan it for the same time Central or Pacific. Deals have been lost. Hearts have been broken.

So, I’m starting a movement to do away with time zones. From now on, we’ll all just be on the same giant time zone. Because it’s convenient for everyone currently in my office, we’ll use Eastern time as the standard. So when I say noon, we’ll all know what I mean.