A New Generation of Dorm Rules

Miami U is down with the five finger shuffle…. as long as it’s not in the showers.

“Oh, you think you have semen related costs?” -Pregnant woman

Exactly how much masturbation is going on in this school to where the faculty feels like this is necessary? It makes me very happy that my dorm room experience only lasted a month before I found a more suitable living arrangement (hello greek row!).

Miami U says they would rather have their men engaging in self-love in their own rooms, but without the supposed drain-stopping amount of semen they’re dealing with, that just seems even messier.

At least they’re trying to be clean.

The only real question I have was also expressed amongst the comments:

“I’m just wondering what the hell are the cafeteria people putting in the food that’s turning the men’s jizz into Elmer’s Glue.”