Educated and Empowered

This is an e-mail from one of the moms on the Hypnobabies Yahoo Group. She gave me permission to share it. I think it is a great example of how educating yourself and being empowered can help shape your birth.

Her OB had been pressuring her into setting an induction date because of “big baby” She asked all the moms for ideas and support, did her research and went back to her OB and took charge of the situation. I LOVED her story.

“First off I’d like to say thank you to everybody who gave me advice on my ‘big’ (healthy) baby!

I had my doctor’s apt. yesterday where we were to discuss my birth plan I put in at my last apt. My doctor had been pressuring me to induce around 38 weeks (pending a u/s) b/c I have been measuring so large. I was very nervous. I made sure I did a fear release before I left and toughened up my BOP. (Bubble of Peace)

When he came in I held up my hand and told him that I wanted to talk before he even said anything. I told him that I know I am his first experience with Hypnobabies and I need him to have an open mind. I explained the program and the power of thinking positively. I told him about people using hypnosis for surgery.

I showed him my books and gave him a list of websites he may want to check out. I told him all the reasons I did not want an induction. I told him I take a lot of personal responsibility for my own health and what I’m doing to help with the birth (massage, exercise, etc). We discussed birthing positions and baby positioning. I told him there is no reason that I wouldn’t be able to birth a big baby on my own. That we couldn’t know that until I was birthing her. All my tests have been great and I stayed within my weight gain limits. I even gave him print outs of my diet from spark people and shared some of the stories from the big baby file. The last thing I told him was that I needed him to decide if he was on board quickly b/c I was not going to be flexible and to know it wasn’t personal against him it was just really personal FOR ME.

The next thing I knew he was right on board, asking questions, and copying things out of my workbook so he could help (scripts and stuff. I did tell him about Hypnobabies offering professional courses). He started using the Hypnobabies lingo. I didn’t think he’d ever look at the sites I gave him but he called me today to ask me more questions and said he was planning on talking to the hospital staff he was so excited. I did AGREE to the u/s, only b/c we decided to ‘test’ it’s accuracy along with checking out some other stuff (we had some placenta problems early on). He’s agreed to stop talking about induction. The only time it will be brought up again is if I go over 42 weeks and if it comes up we will try all other natural alternatives before we go the pitocin route.

I’m so happy!!! I hear a lot of women are having the same ‘big’ baby issues I have been. Stick to your guns girls! We can do this. It’s all about how you look at it. My child is HEALTHY. She has THRIVED inside me b/c of the excellent care I have given her. She is active and has a very strong heart. Nobody is going to make me feel bad about that. My body is not going to make a baby I can’t birth.

Here is the list of her reasons she doesn’t want an induction.

There’s a lot of both medical and personal reasons I do not want an induction:

*They can’t accurately predict her size from an u/s or my measurements.

*Both my daughter and I have been really healthy the entire pregnancy.

*Studies show being induced makes it more likely to have a c section and I don’t want to have major surgery.

*Even if she is huge there’s no way they can know if my body can birth her until my birthing time. I’d like the chance to at least give it my best for my child.

*It is my gut feeling that an induction is not right for me especially if it’s only for the reasons they have given me. If something were to come up maybe that would change but right now a ‘big baby’ is not a good enough reason.

* The risks associated with induction outweigh the risks of a big baby for me.

* I had a major illness last year where I discovered doctors don’t know everything. I’ve taken an active role in my medical care ever since.

*I don’t feel that anyone else has the right to tell me what to do with my life or the life of my child.

* No one has the right to make a woman feel like she is broken in any way for no apparent reason. That’s how I felt. Why couldn’t I birth my baby? I must be broken. There must be something wrong with my body. Then I realized that is crap.

* I worked HARD for this natural birth. When I got pregnant I talked to my doctors and read up on what I was supposed to do. I did everything I was supposed to do from eating right, exercise, gaining within my weight limit, and preparing. I credit her healthy size to that. Not that all small babies have something wrong with them that’s usually genetics. We just know that there are factors that can cause babies to be underweight. I made sure she’d be a good size ON PURPOSE. I felt like I was being punished for doing exactly what they TOLD me to do.

* This will not be the last time I will have to stand up to someone for the health or well being of my child so I might as well just jump right into it. I trust my judgment as a mother, I’ve prepared for this for a long time. Once she’s here I’ll have to decide all kinds of things based on what I think is best for her. I think this is best for her.

* Thanks to the lovely ladies in group I was given some good information sites to read up, including the big baby bull page you have. It showed me that my gut was right even if I didn’t know it then. I was able to speak in my doctor’s language. I was able to understand HIS concerns and the reasons for them. I was also able to understand that doctors work in percentages. They look at the chance of something happening. They look at being prepared for the worst. While I understand it I knew it wasn’t okay with me.

I knew I wanted a natural birth and I knew that’s supposed to be good for baby but then they throw all these medical terms and issues at me. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what was true or what was likely to happen and what wasn’t. I had a gut instinct and that was it. He has a medical degree and aren’t doctor’s supposed to do what’s best for you? I was so confused. I don’t know what I’d do without Hypnobabies and the group. Even a lot of natural birth enthusiasts want to talk about worse case scenarios. There’s not a lot of places to turn. Thank God for the internet!”

[…] Support is the glue that holds it all together. Today moms can find support in the traditional places, like their family and their care providers, and they can also find it on the internet. I had a mom on the Hypnobabies Yahoo Group I moderate who was getting pressured by her OB to induce because of a suspected “big baby.” She expressed her concerns on the group and we encouraged her with information and said that her body would grow the perfect size baby for her. She chose to going in and talk to her OB about her concerns and had a really good discussion and got his support to trust her body! […]

What I best love about this story is how mom took on the responsibility of rectruiting her care provider. She may not have thought of it that way–but that’s exactly what she did! She was confident and well informed which made her credible. She was clear and firm–which made her nearly impossible to misundertand. She was positive and enthusiasitc–which was contagious! I believe women might be surprised how many OBs could become “so excited” about birth options that they are currently ignorant of. Let’s all take this story as an example and do the same!