The TV dancing judge tells Chrissy Iley about his divorce, his dogs and his
thoughts on Simon Cowell.

Nigel Lythgoe is very theatrical. Almost every sentence that comes out of his mouth seems like it has been rehearsed for a performance. Everything is breathless. Then there’s a pause for applause, admiration, effect.

For the past few months, Lythgoe, 61, has been dividing his time between the US talent contest American Idol (he’s executive producer of the show) and BBC One’s So You Think You Can Dance (which he co-created and executive produces, as well as being one of the judges). He has been flying constantly between London and LA. The British dance show reaches its climax tomorrow; the US contest, minus judge Simon Cowell, who left in 2010 to concentrate on his own US X Factor, finished at the end of May.

Everyone thought American Idol without Cowell would be like the Rolling Stones without Jagger. There was quite a lot of panic in the Idol camp knowing Cowell’s X Factor was coming. Now there’s panic in the X Factor camp that Idol’s ratings have been so good. The season began 13 per cent down on 2010; by the finale, ratings were up more than 20 per cent. Is Lythgoe the producer worried about the US X Factor? “Nah.

I think the The Voice [another new US talent show, based on a Dutch hit] must have upset their plans because all of a sudden Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green are judges in it.”

Does he think Cowell will try to be as different as possible on The X Factor? “No. I think Simon’s going to calm down. He’s wanted to be loved for a number of years now. He’s not the cold Simon he used to be. He’s a warmer one.”

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People have said Cowell was modelled on him, Nasty Nigel. That he was the nastiest first. “Well I wasn’t. I was the copy of Mickie Most and Tony Hatch who were on New Faces back in the day. And that had Nina Myskow. She was the nasty judge. I think Nasty Nigel is more of a tabloid thing to do with alliteration. Now I’m Nurturing Nigel. I’ve become more nurturing as I’ve got older. Especially in my dance field because I was a dancer. And as a dancer you need to be able to cope with the put-down. Our middle name is rejection. No one gives you anything for nothing.”

How did he deal with rejection? “I got fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of whatever you want to give me. Fear, that’s the driving force in my life.”

What does he think of Cheryl Cole? “She’s a gorgeous girl but there are lots of gorgeous girls in America.”

Does he feel more emotionally connected to the dance show? “Yes. I’m passionate about dance and I feel for them more. After the programme they aren’t going to be a singing star, they’re going back to dancing. So your heart goes back to them. The truth is as I’ve got older my heart has got bigger.”

Didn’t he lose a part of his heart? “Yes, I lost the back of it. Since I’ve been here [in LA] I’ve had peritonitis [in October 2003, nine months after suffering a heart attack]. I lost 15 feet of intestine and in my divorce I lost my wife.” Pause. “God I miss my intestine.” It’s his own joke and he’s laughing at it. It’s not a new one. He and his wife divorced last year.

“It came as a shock to me. I didn’t do the divorce. She divorced me.”

Did she feel neglected because you were embracing your super-busy life? “No, I think after 35 years she wanted to do other things and she didn’t want to come to live in America.” Well, couldn’t you have just remained married? You’re not always in America. “I wanted to remain married. To be frank with you she found somebody else.”

Has he found somebody else? “No. I’m married to my work.” I thought you were with Priscilla Presley? “No. That was a few years ago. She’s delightful. I love her very much, but it’s totally unfair to have a relationship with someone at the moment that I can’t be there for. It’s tough enough looking after dogs.” He a dalmation and a pitbull, called Bonnie and Clyde. (“My ex-wife was called Bonnie, so here was just another b---- who wouldn’t do what I asked her.”)

Was the heart attack caused by stress? Perhaps the stress of losing Bonnie the wife? “Who knows? I put the heart attack down to 66 cigarettes a day.”

Does he still smoke? “No. I was scared stiff. Scared of dying.”

Is he still? “No. I nearly died with the peritonitis, but not the heart attack. The heart attack was like bad indigestion and two weeks later I was back in shouting at people. I was shouting at people during the heart attack. I had it for three days without realising what it was.”

‘So You Think You Can Dance: the Final Live’ is on BBC One tomorrow at 7.15pm