A very old email or Proof that I have always been a little weird

Cool. So I guess it’s my turn to have a bad day. This is what has happened to me so far today.

1) Dana wakes up because she really needs to go to the bathroom. She looks at the clock. The clock says 7:35. Dana panics because her alarm is set for 6:21 but didn’t go off this morning. Oh, no. Dana takes the world’s quickest shower, does her hair & makeup & sets off for the day.

2) Dana forgets her jacket in the apartment. My, it’s chilly. But that’s okay, she’ll persevere. She’s tough. What’s a little cold air to a Minnesota resident of 33 years.

3) Dana walks up the hill to catch her bus & sees it turn the corner & go on it’s merry way. Dana now has to walk two blocks (from the frontage road) to 3rd street so she can catch another bus.

4) Dana arrives at work with 10 minutes to spare. She grabs her breakfast & decides to visit the bathroom because she has a visitor that is really beginning to wear out it’s welcome (subtle, huh?). She grabs the item she needs & tucks it inside her skirt so she doesn’t need to walk through the phonebank broadcasting to everyone that it’s that time of the month. She walks about twenty feet when she feels the pad slithering it’s way down her skirt where it lands at her feet. Discreetly wrapped in it’s lovely pink plastic film but still, highly obvious as to what it is.

5) Dana takes 4 calls this morning so far. They have all sucked & involved having to call the help desk, except for one. In fact, Dana is on hold with ATM cards right now because of a sucky call.

6) Dana decides that she can’t take the stress anymore, and grabbing an ak-47 (which is her right as an American, according to Charlton Heston & the NRA), she brutally guns down all of her co-workers until the police come & drag her away.

Hmmmm, an ak 47 eh? Well, if that is what does it for you. I personally prefer to use my hands…like oh..I don’t know, reaching down someone’s throat and ripping out their intestines and hanging him/her by them.

1 comment

Hmmmm, an ak 47 eh? Well, if that is what does it for you. I personally prefer to use my hands…like oh..I don’t know, reaching down someone’s throat and ripping out their intestines and hanging him/her by them.