Do Some Cars Sound Sexier Than Others? We Blind-Tested A Car Expert And A Non-Driver To Find Out

People argue all the time about which car sounds the sexiest. Some engines sound delicious, like chocolate on a strawberry in a ski lodge; other cars like they're going to explode at 50 miles per hour, like every car I've ever owned. To get to the bottom of the age-old question of which car sounds the sexiest, we enlisted the help of our resident auto aficionado Aaron Miller and our resident auto philistine Jeremy Glass to decide once and for all.

We gathered the sounds of 10 well-known cars, good and bad. We revved their engines, and gave the guys a blind test.

Here are the results. This is important.

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10. Honda Civic (1998)

Jeremy's Score: 3Why: "This is the premature ejaculation of cars. I hate you and I hate this car."Aaron's Score: 4Why: "Sounds anemic. I feel like I’m hearing everything but the engine."Average Score: 3.5

9. BMW E30

Jeremy's Score: 5Why: "I was bored. I guess this is the closest to a basic b**** in the car world. I could see this car taking pumpkin spice lattes as fuel."Aaron's Score: 3Why: "Yep. You’re cool dude. Launching on the rev limiter and either frying your clutch or your tires." Average: 4

8. Ferrari F40

Jeremy's Score: 6Why: "I didn’t mind it. It started to sound like a speedboat towards the end and I was worried about the poor souls aboard."Aaron's Score: 5Why: "I sincerely hope that’s not full throttle. What’s that can-sounding thing at the end?"Average Score: 5.5

7. Porsche 959

Jeremy's Score: 2Why: "This sounds like a race car. I feel mediocre about it, because I just imagine NASCAR fans foaming at the mouth when they hear this thing. I'm not a NASCAR fan. NASCAR sucks—come at me, South."Aaron's Score: 10Why: "Pure and simple. If this isn’t a perfect example of what makes America great I’m getting my ears checked."Average Score: 6

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6. Toyota Prius

Jeremy's Score: 8Why: "It’s an intriguing car and I wouldn’t think it was a car if I first heard it. It sounds like an airplane."Aaron's Score: 5Why: "The five is with a caveat. I’d love to hear this engine at full song to see if it would be a 10. I have a sneaking suspicion it would sound like heaven."Average Score: 6.5

3. Lamborghini Miura

Jeremy's Score: 5Why: "This sounds like someone's dad speeding away from home to start a new life with his hot mistress and their bastard child. Damn that conniving son of a bitch."Aaron's Score: 10Why: "Oh, hell yes. The gear whine, the faint sound of overboost. I can basically picture it as if I were trackside." Average: 7.5

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2. Volkswagen Golf GTI MK7

Jeremy's Score: 10Why: "This thing is an environment-killer. I want to drive on the Autobahn with this thing and then eat a double cheeseburger and throw the wrapper out the window."Aaron's Score: 8Why: "Funny. I’m picturing serious amounts of snap oversteer with this car. I’m probably wrong but all I’m picturing is an old 911."Average Score: 9

1. Audi A8

Jeremy's Score: 9Why: "F*** yeah, that’s sexy. That’s the kind of car Harrison Ford probably drove in the late '80s. I can see myself being conceived in this car."Aaron's Score: 9Why: "Get it out of the garage, or wherever it’s sitting."Average Score: 9

Post-script

I accidentally gave Aaron and Jeremy car sounds from video games for two of these. Aaron caught both immediately, which allowed him to save some face after making fun of himself (drivers of E30s, and flubbing it on the Porsche 959). To his credit, Jeremy also shot them down, giving them a 2 and a 1, saying: "It sounded like an electronic song. Is this a trick? Did you just play me Daft Punk’s new summer jam? Summer is over. Get the net. Also it sounds like someone yelling at me for not taking the dog for a walk."