Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Great gosh-a-mighty, Enthusiasts: two show recommendations in two days? It’s almost like this bullshit about the Grateful Dead is actually about the Grateful Dead. The Greek Theatre saw a passel of Dead shows, including their 20th Anniversary Spectacularapalooza, in which the band neglected to do anything special whatsoever and, in fact, had to leave the stage halfway through the first set because the equipment didn’t work.

This is this. If this is that, then this ceases to be this and becomes that.

Stop treating grammar like math.

NEVER!

Get on with it, freak.

So: 5/21/82 from the Greek is definitely a better show than last night’s shaky ’76, for certain definitions of the word “better.” It is more proficient, to be sure, and there are no major train wrecks; the show also contains an unremarkable amount of lyrical confusion for an ’82. (There is, of course, some lyrical confusion. It’s still the Grateful Dead.)

But, in comparison with last night’s mockery of a farce, this show is a bit less entertaining. It is a fine show, don’t get me wrong, but it does not excite like the ’76’s looming chaos. It’s fine.

Let’s Goofus and Gallant this shit:

The ’82 is a Honda Accord: it’s reliable, and gets you where you’re going, but won’t get you laid; The ’76 is a Porsche that Mickey has driven over a cliff.

The ’82 does not have herpes, but will not do weird things to you in bed; the ’76 has all the herpes in the world, and does weird things to you everywhere.

The ’82 is a blackjack table in a licensed casino owned by a multinational corporation; the ’76 is a basement with a revolver to your head as a Vietnamese man screams at you.

Can we stop this now?

No. If we stop doing this, then this becomes that.

I hate you.

We’ve been over this.

Die.

And that.

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For those who don’t know, or have forgotten, the Friday night Greek shows started at 7:00pm, although of course the band never came on at that time. In May, that meant that we entered the venue in daylight, the show started at twilight, and it ended in the dark. It’s difficult to simulate that in your room–turn your lights down slowly, I guess, ’til you just have a solitary lamp glowing in the dark for the second set.

The weather’s easy to simulate, though. I checked, and the high for the day was 61 degrees, with a low of 53, and a 10 mph fan. Put another way, the Bay Area is like most people’s houses with the AC and the fan on, except that you’re outdoors. So turn on the fan.

It appears to have been oddly humid that night, but it didn’t really matter since it never got above 60.