Recently EUSA announced that they would be making free tampons available for students across campus, this is a move which is both deserving of praise and is long overdue…..WHY AREN’T THEY FUCKING UP A BIT? JESUS, JUST MAKE A MISTAKE! AROUND 90% OF OUR VIEWING FIGRUES COME FROM EUSA COCK UPS, THIS IS JUST BORING.

This is not how student politics should go, EUSA clearly understand nothing about their role in the student world. They are not here to help students and generally represent their views, they are here to take absurd lines on pointless conflicts which they cannot possibly hope to influence, generally achieve nothing of note and alienate the student population, and the current EUSA sab team have done none of these things. Rather, they have also put up anti rape posters around campus, another move still deserving of praise. There is no controversy in just doing nice things and being competent!

What is next for this rag tag bunch of nice pricks? Free nachos with every deadline submission (Serious can you do that)? Physically being there to provide a condom, just before you are dumb enough to have unprotected sex? Putting an end to universal slavery? Ending in-equality in both gender and race? The lovely bastards seem capable of achieving such things. Allegedly President Johnny Ross-Tatum now plans to personally man a foodbank for the homeless and provide personal childcare for struggling single mothers. What an arse.