Our World Tour has finally arrived in Greece, familiar territory for both Dude and Dudette (The Dudette lived in Greece, while The Dude is a huge fan of meat cooked on a skewer). And as luck would have it, Bluffton happens to have a place well known for its funny name, risqué logo and killer breakfasts, but less famous for its Greek offerings. Which is a shame, because the Riganas family who own the Squat ‘n’ Gobble are Greek through and through and brother, can they ever prove it in the kitchen.

The Dude is a big fan of the Squat ‘n’ Gobble, but as a creature of habit, The Dude has never ventured farther into the menu than the Dino Omelet (a nirvana-inducing blend of hash browns, bacon and happiness). For this trip, The Dude stuck to the right side of the “American/Greek Cuisine” slash and left his beloved Dino Omelet behind.

The Greek specialties are offset from the rest of the menu (with helpful guides for pronunciation) and range from spanakopita to pastitsio. That’s all well and good, but The Dude has already professed his love for meat cooked on a skewer. Hence, it was time to gyro up.

During a trip to Athens, The Dude was once served a grilled meat platter that contained no less than three pounds of assorted meats, so The Dude knew that when it comes to food, the Greeks aren’t shy on portion sizes. That tradition continued with the Olympic-sized gyro, which required both hands to stabilize.

Served on a perfectly toasty pita, the gyro at Squat ‘n’ Gobble is a masterpiece. The homemade tzatziki sauce is creamy, rich with cucumbers, and spreads easily over the gyro, which is stuffed with delicately cut meat that pops with flavor. The Dude took it down like Hercules slaying the lion. That is to say quickly, and with a fair amount of mess.

But Greek food is more than gyros, so The Dude also opted to split a baklava with The Dudette. The baklava was sweet, with sticky currents of cinnamon running between flaky phyllo dough. And at $3, it’s not a bad little way to round out your meal.

The Dude and Dudette walked out of there with a Hellas good lunch for $34 after tip, and the joy of having spent a lunch hour inside a Bluffton institution. And The Dude finally tried something at Squat ‘n’ Gobble besides breakfast.

Although now The Dude wonders what a Dino Omelet with gyro fixings might taste like …

THE DUDETTE’S TAKE:

The Dudette spent much time in Greece on a little island once inhabited by a raging bull-headed man. Dudette suspects that the reason he raged was because there were no good cooks on his end of the island, so he ate everything and everyone in sight. Had he not gotten lost in his own labyrinth, he could have flown to Savannah, rented a car and driven to Bluffton to eat spanakopita and gyros at the Squat ‘n’ Gobble.

Dudette is very particular about certain cuisines and is ever on the hunt for delicious Greek food. The flavor she found in the dishes at Squat ‘n’ Gobble took her back in a flash to Crete. It made her homesick for a hilltop restaurant overlooking Souda Bay called Monte Verde, a roadside taverna that served broasted chicken and patathes (fries, frites, chips, etc.) and a backstreet gyro stand where the attendant sliced the dripping meat off a turning vertical spit, slapped it into a soft pita, slathered it with tzatziki sauce, onions, lettuce and tomatoes and handed it wrapped in grease paper to Dudette, who promptly wore as much as she ate.

Dude very clearly was poised for the gyro and while Dudette would happily have beaten him down for the choice, she took the higher road and chose instead the gyro platter that included gyro meat and a spanakopita.

First, one must explain what makes gyro meat so special. It is minced lamb molded around a spit. Don’t sneer — hamburgers are ground meat, too. It is then slowly cooked a few inches from a flame and served thinly sliced.

A genuine pita is not that dry thing you buy in plastic bags in the grocery but a round, soft pliable bread that wraps around a generous serving of meat and stuff.

The tzatziki sauce is cucumber and yogurt based and is used in Greece like Americans use ketchup and mustard. It goes on and with just about everything but baklava.

So, back to Dudette’s platter, the meat was both soft and crispy depending upon where the cook had sliced the meat from the skewer. The condiments on the plate included sliced cucumbers, black olives and chunks of feta cheese.

The other part of the platter was the Dudette’s dream come true. If thousands of parents had served spanakopita instead of forcing their children to eat plain soggy spinach to become strong like Popeye, there would be spinach farms everywhere. Where do you think Pappy got the idea to give his boy spinach? Why, from sailing the Seven Seas and going on liberty in Greece, of course. (Dudette is making this up but it could have happened.) This savory pie, which comes in triangles, squares or rectangles, is a concoction of thin phyllo dough filled with a mixture of chopped sauteed spinach, feta cheese, eggs and spices. Ah, heaven.

As this was Dudette’s first encounter with the famed Bluffton eatery, there is obviously much more to explore, as The Dude has stated.

There is much more in the world to explore, cuisine-wise, but there is certain to be more than one return trip to the Squat ‘n’ Gobble for more Greek and famed non-Greek dishes.

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.