· #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.· #8 Life is sexually transmitted.· #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.· #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.· #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.· #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.· #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism· #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.· #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow