The neighborhood sure is getting fancy. Of course there still is plenty of “wiggle room” for the properly motivated person to “act out”. Head down to Freeman Street by the Shit Tits and knock yourselves out fellow reprobates. Tell ’em Heather sent you.

P.S.: Since we are on the subject of the intersection of India Street and Manhattan Avenue, I would like to present the following which I wrote fairly recently on this site (in regards to an email from the Department of Transportation regarding the “Manhattan Avenue Parking Spot of Death”, specifically some “Vision Zero” nonsense tacked onto said email):

Let’s consider pedestrian safety on the block in question. If “traffic enforcement” took the time/effort to, say, hang out at the intersection of India Street and Manhattan Avenue and ticket each and every motorist and bicyclist who blew through through the traffic signals located there they would make a tidy sum. They would also actually be doing something which does facilitate safer streets for pedestrians. But it is much easier to go after the long-hanging fruit of people parking in an ambiguously marketed parking space.

I wrote this on April 17, 2017. This accident came to pass May 10, 2017. Are the Department of Transportation and NYPD Traffic paying attention?

This is what I was greeted with bright and early this morning. Per a witness, the Department of Transportation showed up at midnight so as to do this. They made a lot of noise too. In any case, here’s to not having to watch some unfortunate soul’s car getting towed, folks yelling at traffic enforcement agents upon discovering they have been ticketed, etc.

A little value-added from my sojourn to the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch this morning. It should settle the question once and for all as to the whereabouts of Scooby Doo. He is under a car on Manhattan Avenue between Clay and Dupont Streets and appears to be hammered as fuck. Possibly via the contents of the now empty bottle of tequila in the adjacent tree pit.

Spring is here and with it— not unlike the swallows returning to Capistrano— the New York Times lavishes attention on my humble community. This being Greenpoint, of course. My colleague at Queens Crap found this interesting and saw fit to bring this tome to my attention as follows:

The Times discovers Polish people in Greenpoint.

To wit, I replied:

That pharmacy they have a photo of has a fierce selection of sex toys.

It’s true. This pharmacy does sport such items. To prove my point I strolled over there bright and early on this Smigus-Dyngus Day so as to get photo documentation. I feel it is my responsibility as a citizen journalist with “street level” knowledge of such things. Without further ado, here is what awaits you at the Murawski Pharmacy which, it should be noted, is the only establishment which sells such wares. “Just For Fun”, also a Polish-owned and operated, used to sell sex toys but it has closed. The owner, a lovely lady named Barbara, has retired and moved to Florida. The storefront has since become a CitiHabitats office. But I digress. Bring on the photos!

Here we are.

Welcome to the Wall of Sex. It is proving to be Wet Monday indeed. Hallelujah!

I rather like how stickers, including a price tag, have been employed so as to conceal the “naughty bits”. While I am on the subject of stickers…

Even the penis pumps hereabouts are purporting to be gluten free nowadays. If that ain’t a sign of gentrification I honestly do not know what is. And, yes, the New York Times made sure to conjure up the golem which is the “G word”. Among other things:

As in other parts of our city, conversations in Little Poland often turn to gentrification. Faced with higher rents, many residents are leaving the neighborhood for other Polish enclaves in Ridgewood or Maspeth, both in Queens.

I already knew this. A lot of people know this. But I suppose if one’s targeted “readership” are people who actually enjoy the Time’s “The Hunt” column— and not just for the gallows humor it provides— this would be “news”. The previous having been written, let’s get back to the topic. This being things Polish in Greenpoint. You see, Mr. Lee was not the only one walking around Greenpoint yesterday, I was too! And at McCarren Park I saw something quite compelling. So much so I took photos of it!

This is what greeted me upon arrival at Father Jerzy Popieluszko Square. It would appear a mishap of some kind has come to pass. I would hazard to guess this mishap involved a motor vehicle. Folks are always driving into things here. Pedestrians, fences, buildings, trees, more pedestrians, if you can think of it, chances are an automobile has hit it. Not even Newtown Creek is safe, as we learned on July 9th, 2013 via Gothamist.

Which brings me back to what I beheld at Jerzy Popieluszko Square yesterday. I found the manner, “style” if you will, eerily reminiscent of the “treatment” the Manhattan Kayak Launch has received “post injury”.

Save of course the “caution” tape. I am guessing the powers-that-be (the Parks Department? Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn?) saw fit to appoint Jerzy Popieluszko Square with the tape (which costs $9.95 plus tax for a 1,000 roll of the stuff) because it is part of McCarren Park and as such is part of the “flagship park” of Community Board 1. Prestige is at stake, my friends.

Which brings me to the above photo. I wanted to make sure everyone is aware the photos of the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch in this post were taken today, April 17th, 2017. Yes, gentle readers, we are closing in on four years of this fence being in this state of disrepair. This begs the question as to how long the fence at Father Jerzy Popieluszko Square will remain in its present state. If the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch is any indication, I’d say the prognosis is not good.

The state of repair (or disrepair) of facilities in any given community speaks volumes about how the city and its various agencies views/”values” said community. Let’s apply this to Father Jerzy Popieluszko Square. Here you have a park dedicated to a fellow who is highly revered by the Polish community. As the New York Times has ascertained, Greenpoint has a rather substantial Polish community.

Let’s do the math. The premises have been damaged and a “make do” solution in the manner of two barricades and approximately 7-8 yards of caution tape. I am not sure what the barriers cost, but at 1 cent a foot the tape used cost 24 cents. As for when this will be repaired, maybe someone in the “mainstream media” will ask the proper “authorities”? Perhaps even someone at the New York Times! You know, “watchdogs acting as guardian of the public interest” kind of stuff. I will leave you now with a few shots of the McCarren Park women’s comfort station. These too were taken yesterday, Easter Sunday.

(Insert “Wet Monday” joke here.)

UPDATE, 4:12 pm: Apparently the fence at Jerzy Popieluszko Square has been in this state for few months. Amazing how McCarren can get a tennis bubble, but basic shit like a fence languishes. Of course fences do generate $55.00 per hour in revenue.

Since the CBS 2 segment aired there hasn’t been much to relay other than the traffic enforcement agents seem to have stopped— or have seriously cut back— “policing” this ticket trap. Then this morning I received an email. It is so fascinating I am going to share it right here and now. Enjoy!

New York Shitty analysis:

How is “pedestrian safety” relevant to the legality (or otherwise) of this, or any, parking space?

Let’s consider pedestrian safety on the block in question. If “traffic enforcement” took the time/effort to, say, hang out at the intersection of India Street and Manhattan Avenue and ticket each and every motorist and bicyclist who blew through through the traffic signals located there they would make a tidy sum. They would also actually be doing something which does facilitate safer streets for pedestrians. But it is much easier to go after the long-hanging fruit of people parking in an ambiguously marketed parking space.

I spied this while strolling down Centre Street yesterday. It was too good to pass up and I have made a six inch by six inch print of it which is for sale for $4.95 a print here. Also, I did a pass by the Manhattan Detention Complex which is located across the street. I had a friend with me at the time and I wanted her to see the “Customer Service” entrance as I find it grimly entertaining.

Fun Fact: Google has reviews for the “MDC”. These can be perused by clicking here. Here’s a teaser:

Food was decent for a jail. Although the rooms were dirty and smelled Funny, not much to do, no one was severely injured at during the stay. The staff was decently helpful and the guest were surprisingly friendly.

I have to say this is eerily reminiscent of an AirBnb review. Manhattan Detention BnB. So there you. Closing on a totally unrelated note, prior to taking the day’s walk I met with a reporter from CBS Channel 2. They produced a news item about the Manhattan Avenue Parking Spot of Death which not only aired last night but interviewed our City Councilman, Steve Levin, about the matter. You see, he himself has been tricked by this money mill. In any case, I want to applaud him for taking the time to speak up about this and state plainly the sentiment held by a number of folks hereabouts regarding this matter. That sentiment being this space, which has no reason to be made illegal parking in the first place, should simply be made legal. Well done!

P.S.: The Brooklyn House of Detention also has reviews on Google. One is accompanied with some mighty interesting photos. The image at left is one of them. I will let your read the accompanying copy on your own but I will state right here an now it is the sort of stuff folks like our Vice President would not find the least bit amusing. Instead, I will leave you with this review which is considerably more concise and less detailed:

Looks like “traffic enforcement” is at it again. On a Saturday, no less. What dedication! In any case this is an excellent opportunity to share a couple of things:

Given this new parking by app thing it could be argued that the city would, could stand to make money by simply legalizing the space and generating revenue from it. However, I suspect they are rolling with the short-term strategy of hitting folks with parking tickets costing $115.00 a pop. And, as we have learned, the truly lucky folks accrue the additional costs of getting towed.

A follow-up complaint to the originalcomplaint (getting more Kafka-esque by the minute!) has been filed: DOT-331717-Z3B9

Oh, did I mention I am looking into installing a webcam so everyone can watch this banquet of bullshit unfold in real time 24/7/365? Well, I just did! Happy Saturday!!!