Bad ideas if you want a role in the royal wedding: insult the bride, write about your anti-Semitic fantasies and slur England’s Pakistani immigrants.

One of the would-be guards during this Friday’s festivities has managed all three, getting himself removed from his duties along the ceremonial parade route.

Cameron Reilly was to have joined several hundred of his fellow Scots Guards in lining the path between Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace, but was dismissed after the discovery of online rants attacking future princess Kate Middleton and minority groups. Reilly, an 18-year-old who sounds like a real charmer, referred to Middleton as a “stuck-up cow,” among other insults, used a slur to denigrate Pakistani immigrants and joked about shooting Jews while on duty near the Tower of London.

Reilly also wrote on his Facebook page about having “attacked a black man.”

England’s Daily Mail reports that he is among the iconic guards who regularly serve outside Buckingham Palace, and that the Scots Guards say they are investigating him.

Now that he’ll be free during the wedding, perhaps Reilly will return to his hometown - fittingly enough, a place called East Kilbride.