I wrote a post 2 weeks ago about having been recently diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I told you what happened and how it has affected me. Today I would like to expand on those effects, and also relate what I have done to make my life better.

Because of the traumatic events I mentioned in the previous post, I was left with a perpetual feeling of unsafety and lack of trust. I wanted to clear the memories of needing to live my life trying to be as invisible as possible. The phrases that were associated with those feelings were:

If I’m different, people won’t like me.

If someone notices me, I’m in danger.

Hiding is the only safety.

If others don’t like me, they will hurt me.

If I trust or show that I like someone, he or she will turn on me.

An important memory came to me during the process, as a kind of a counter to all these fearful thoughts. I remembered that my parents took me with them to a museum in San Francisco (where I grew up) known as the Palace of the Legion of Honor. I was about three years old. As we entered the building, I told the security guard, “thank you for taking care of my palace!”

It’s one of my happiest memories, although it scandalized my parents. I remember that the security guard accepted the praise with a small bow. I yearned to reconnect with that childish naiveté and own the world around me. I remembered other acts of confidence from my younger days: walking home in the late 1960s through the Fillmore district, a local hotbed of racial violence, as a blue eyed, blonde haired, eight-year-old who was clueless of what was seething around me. I was completely unaware of any possible danger, and completely confident as I wandered casually, looked in shop windows, and smiled at everyone I met.

Anchoring the Good Stuff

I knew I could recapture that feeling of safety and power. To do so, I used an NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programing) technique called “Anchoring.” Anchoring pairs a gesture with a powerful feeling to re-invoke the feeling later. You could hug a stuffed animal, remembering the feeling of comfort you had when you hugged the animal as a child. Or you could pump your first the way you did when you won an important contest, to invoke the feeling of joy and success.

In my process, I vividly recalled all those feelings of ownership and safety. I remembered the world as a friendly place, and felt my own sense of integration with in the world. I heard the chorus of an old disco song: “I’ve Got the Power!” in my mind. Breathing in deeply, I allowed the positive, empowering feelings to fill my body and mind. I prepared a small gesture of lifting my chin up with my head erect and balanced, my posture straight yet relaxed. I used that anchoring gesture to make it permanent.

The next step toward clearing and retraining my underlying limiting beliefs was EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping). Out of all of the techniques I’ve heard of or practiced, EFT is the most effective and powerful. It truly lives up to its name – the emotions that do not serve the person go free, and they feel the freedom to choose new, helpful thought patterns and emotions.

The first step in EFT is to choose what thought pattern or belief to work on. Sometimes we work on something big and sometimes the initial issue seems small or trivial. It doesn’t matter – the point with EFT is to clear out stuff, big or small. Sometimes the small stuff turns out to be the bead on the string that releases dozens of others.

For me, I chose to tap on (a synonym for “work on”) shame. The setup statements went something like this: Even though I feel shamed by <fill in the blank>, I deeply and completely accept myself.

While tapping through the meridian points, I acknowledged the feelings of fear, shame, and confusion that had immobilized me in the past. I then shifted away from those feelings. The result? I came out of those experiences stronger than I was before. I shifted from a feeling of captivity to one of mild amusement at the bizarre behavior of others. Those actions had nothing to do with me.

NLP and EFT are just two of the processes I have been using to live a happier, emotionally-healthier life. I have been calling it “Vocational Training for Gremlins.” (“Gremlins” are those thoughts and belief systems that seem negative, but are really trying to protect you.)

Another powerful technique that I’ve used is the “Heartlight Meditation.” It helps clear any wounds that your heart still holds, and allows a feeling of peace, love, and safety to emerge.

I love sharing what I’ve learned, and helping people get unstuck. If you’d like some help re-training your Gremlins, check out my 6 week Call-to-Action coaching program. I help you get out of your own way, get your Gremlins on YOUR side, and get you on your path with a light heart and boundless energy.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I’d love to hear about your stories of healing in the comments below!

This past April, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I consider the diagnosis to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I actually feel like going around telling everyone about it! And, because so many people have a limited view of what PTSD is, I want to tell you how this diagnosis has helped me, and how it can possibly help you too.

The short version of my story began with a two-year period during my childhood that began with sexual abuse (including a poor handling of the revelation by relatives). It continued with my enduring bullying both physical and psychological at a new school, and ended with my father’s death from a heart attack. (For the record, it was not my father who sexually abused me. However, as is typical, my abuser was an adult male known to my family.) Today, my underlying belief, shared by many with PTSD, is that the world is an unsafe environment. Because of this deeply-rooted feeling, I have developed a number of coping mechanisms and behaviors that make sense to me, but not necessarily to anyone else.. For example, I have a certain protocol that I follow whenever I arrive at a new place. I try to position myself in particular ways in any room. I found out recently that nearly everyone who has PTSD does similar things.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) refers to a set of adaptive behaviors that stem from a traumatic event or set of events. A trauma could be a small event like falling off a bicycle, or large event like being in or near the World Trade Center in New York City on September 11, 2001. Traumatic events can be random, like a chunk of masonry falling off a building you’re passing under, or they can be premeditated and wicked like physical or sexual abuse. Popular media often describes PTSD as it relates to troops in combat. Our honored veterans have often been encouraged to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and carry on as if their conditions are “not that bad,” while they remain frozen and unable to gain the help they (and their families) need.

The behaviors range from nightmares or flinching at ordinary things like soda cans or joggers, to full-blown aggressive actions including shouting, hitting, and in extreme cases, attacking with a gun or knife. The symptoms can last for years, and many feel trapped in an overwhelming vortex of fear with no way out.

The brain has a really good reason for behaving like this: when we experience trauma, our brain and nervous system refuse to forget its impact and will actively push us to avoid similar circumstances. The important thing to remember is that this reaction is a normal and expected part of keeping our bodies alive and safe. For those individuals suffering from post-traumatic stress, leading a normal life can be difficult given the brain’s reaction to trauma. And, because reactions to traumatic events are actually typical and expected, some therapists are pushing to change the last word in PTSD from “Disorder” to “Syndrome.” This designation is considered to be more appropriate because a syndrome is a collection of symptoms,where a disorder refers to something that is assumed to be broken.

What It’s Like For Me

I have found that my subconscious has made a lot of rules and assumptions. According to my subconscious:

It is unsafe for me to be visible.

It is unsafe for me to be successful.

It is unsafe for me to attract any kind of attention.

No one can be fully trusted.

I can lose everything at any time, especially if I like it or it gives me pleasure

And various other, equally limiting beliefs.

From these beliefs came equally limiting behaviors, many of which I’ve successfully changed little by little over the last 15 years. Now, with the help of this diagnosis, I have a new perspective, light shines into my unconscious habits, and I can be freer faster.

Next up: Part 2 – Protocols that help

]]>http://positivelysuccess.com/2015/06/24/ptsd-and-me-part-1/feed/0Tarot Spreads for 2015http://positivelysuccess.com/2014/12/12/tarot-spreads-for-2015/
http://positivelysuccess.com/2014/12/12/tarot-spreads-for-2015/#commentsFri, 12 Dec 2014 21:08:15 +0000http://positivelysuccess.com/?p=548Here’s the “screen shots” of the 2 spreads we did in my Tarot for the New Year mini-workshop on December 9. I’ll update in a few days with the meaning of it all. This is just a teaser for right now…

Like everyone else, I’m trying to do more with less these days. So, when I got a free sample pack of shampoo and conditioner in the mail, I decided to try them.

Yes, that’s all mine!

Now, as you may know, I have long hair. REALLY long hair. People stop me in the street, in grocery stores, and everywhere I go because they’re amazed at how long my hair is. The second most frequent comment* about my hair is “It must take you a lot of time to take care of it! ” My answer has always been, “No, not really. I shampoo the top and condition the bottom 3 times a week; I braid it at night to keep it from strangling me, and that’s about it.”

So, I tried the new shampoo and conditioner, switching from the ones I’ve been using for nearly a decade – the shampoo and conditioner that costs over $30 each for a 34-oz bottle (yep, about a buck an ounce). I was nearly out of conditioner, so it was good timing.

The first couple of times I used the new stuff, although I gagged at the excessive floral smell, it seemed to do well, so I went to the store and bought full 13-oz bottles for $6 each – nearly 50% savings! Woo-hoo! And, I can get these at any time from any drug store or grocery store; I don’t have to call ahead to my stylist to order it and try to make time to get there and pick it up. Double woo-hoo!

Then, just like the wrong kind of relationship, it started to go bad, just a little at first. My hair wasn’t combing through as easily after my shower. It wasn’t combing through easily when it was dry, either – in fact, it was getting pretty annoyingly tangled every time I tried to comb it.
I was spending more and more time after shampooing, trying not to look like Mad Margaret from Ruddigore. When my hair was dry, it seemed as though it would tie itself into dozens of knots, up and down from my scalp to the ends. Braiding it each night became a 20-minute frustrating chore instead of a 5-minute relaxing meditation.

I gave up. I called the stylist and ordered new conditioner, and I got to use it for the first time yesterday.

A-h-h-h-h… what a relief! And, I got the lesson: it is SO worth it to pay more to get quality product. If quality saves me time or hassle, or gets me something easier or faster, then the cost isn’t a cost – it’s an investment. My time and energy get freed up to go toward doing what I love to do – helping my clients and investing in new resources so that I can help my clients even more!

Call to Action: What can you upgrade or get rid of that may be saving you money but losing you time and energy? Pick one for each of the next 3 months. Comment below for accountability (and to remember what you thought of!)

If you’d like to cut to the chase, and get even MORE of your mojo back, sign up for my four-week speed coaching program here!

*For the curious, the most frequent comment is “I can never get my hair to grow beyond _______” with gestures indicating where they last gave up on it. Back to the flow…

]]>http://positivelysuccess.com/2014/08/02/saving-vs-losing/feed/0What’s up with Curses, Anyway?http://positivelysuccess.com/2014/05/10/curses_1/
http://positivelysuccess.com/2014/05/10/curses_1/#commentsSat, 10 May 2014 17:20:10 +0000http://positivelysuccess.com/?p=439I’m going to spoil curses for you, hopefully forever. I frequently help clients who have had experiences from uncomfortable to frightening, leading them to believe they were “cursed.”

Energy is a property of objects, transferable among them via fundamental interactions, which can be converted in form but not created or destroyed

First of all, both physics and metaphysics agree that everything in the Universe is energy. Curses are a form of directed, typically negative, energy. Different people have different experiences, but the most common manifestations resemble health issues suddenly appearing, “luck” changing into missed opportunities or into hazardous situations, or other physical problems in the environment (car problems, house problems, etc).
The good news is that, like all energy, they can be transformed or channelled into another direction fairly easily. The bad news is that if the problems go on long enough, they get programmed into the victim’s subconscious mind as expectations, and take more effort to undo. Why? Because your thoughts are energy, too!
There are 3 types of curses that you may encounter:

Random

Vengeance

Mistaken identity

Random cursesYou’ve encountered someone who just wanted to spew negative energy. You may have visited someplace that has some negative energy collected in a kind of puddle, or you may live in a house or apartment where a previous resident (living or not) has left their energetic doo-doo all over the place, and you’ve started tracking it around everywhere with you. Once you’re aware of it, you can probably track it down to its source and remove or reduce it drastically (more on that topic later). It’s probably the easiest of problems to deal with, precisely because there’s no direction or resistance to deal with.

Vengeance
This time, it’s personal… Maybe. Someone has a grudge against you, and wants you to be punished for it. The Evil Director (the one responsible for sending the energy off) consciously and deliberately wishes for you to come to harm, and does whatever he or she knows about to make it happen–short of actually physically confronting you. This kind of person is actually a bit of a coward, and plots from afar.
But it may not be about you. It could be about red headed women, or Asian men, or someone who wears purple slacks, or is a Giants fan. It’s almost random, but not quite. Tracking the negative vibes to their source can involve a long frustrating search, because if it’s not about you personally, but about your taste in perfume or silk shirts, the field of possible perpetrators grows almost exponentially. Defense is your best offense in this case.
If it is about you, you may be completely unaware of what you did to offend the Evil Director, but I’m betting you can probably identify him or her in a very short amount of time.

Mistaken Identity
Oh how peachy! Someone just hauled off and zapped you with negative energy. And guess what? It wasn’t even you they were aiming for! You just got caught in the crossfire. It’s the worst of both the above cases.
How do you tell the difference?
If it’s mistaken identity, chances are good that once you clear it up, it’s done, over, finis. With the other two, you’ll notice that it comes back, and it will follow a pattern, related to a place or a behavior (I lump clothing, perfume and sports teams in the behavior category).

Next Post: Getting rid of curses
Okay, here’s the big reveal. I’m going to make a lot of scam artists very unhappy…

The amazing relationships, the rich experiences, the career, the house, the dream vacation…they’re all just around the corner.

Every day you make choices, and those choices shape your life. If you’re like most people, you probably choose the “safe” route more often than not. And that’s fine…safety is a valid choice, and something to be sought, for sure.

The only trouble is…the life that you want (which is probably A WHOLE LOT closer than you may think) demands that from time to time you have to take a RISK.
Some big…some small…but all kinda SCARY.

Scary…because every risk carries the possibility of LOSS & FAILURE…right?

BUUUUT…every risk also carries the probability of GREAT SUCCESS & RICH REWARD.

So what if you could tip the scales in the favor of success and reward, away from loss and failure?

What if you could INSTANTLY summon the courage needed to take those pivotal next steps?

What if you could live the kind of EXCITING, FEARLESS LIFE you’ve only dreamed of?

Well…GOOD NEWS.

YOU CAN.

I know…that’s what you expected me to say.
I promise you, though…what I’m telling you is grounded in proven results & solid TRUTH.

You see, because risk is a normal part of life that we’ve had to deal with since the beginning of time, other successful risk takers have developed powerful, proven, life-changing strategies for eliminating our fear of taking chances. And I can teach them to you.

If you’re not interested in living a richer, fuller life, I understand. The status quo can sometimes feel better than the fear of risk.

However, if you’re ready for more life in your life, I’d like to offer you a spot in my BRAND NEW teleseminar:

Last year, around this time, I conducted a “group” reading for the New Year (at that point, 2013). We did two spreads: one month-by month, and one Whole Life Mandala (from James Wanless). I solemnly swear that the cards were picked randomly by the people in the class – they all have their notes to back it up! We picked from the Voyager Tarot deck by James Wanless; the names for his cards in some cases are a little different than the common Smith-Waite deck.Here’s what 2013 was supposed to be like:

Tarot for the New Year – 2013

Spread 1 – Month-by-Month Spread (Note: Only Major Arcana cards were picked for this spread.)

January: Devil’s Play
The Devil card represents those physical and emotional addictions that we cling to, thinking that they’ll bring us happiness. Instead, the attachments form chains that bind us, giving “the Devil” opportunities to make his bargains. So for January, it’s a perfect card to represent all those New Year’s Resolutions that we make – and then never keep because of the emotional connections to the old habits. This year, start with something that you want to change and take small steps every day. Don’t let “the Devil” take you out of the game!

February: Star
The Star card represents self-esteem, recognizing your “star potential” in the world. With Valentine’s Day happening in February, make yourself your own Valentine and show some unconditional Love for yourself. If you seek a relationship, you must have a great relationship with yourself in order to succeed with another. The end of Winter comes in sight, so now is the time for your own in-sight!

March: Emperor
The Emperor card represents action and getting things done, especially in the Spring. Amazingly, the Spring Equinox occurs in March, so it’s the perfect combination. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, and don’t feel as though you can finish a task yourself, feel free to ask for help – one of the aspects of the Emperor is delegation!

April: Strength
The Strength card represents the internal structure of the self, the core of Being. For April, pay attention to who you are, where all your various parts come from, and continue your Spring Cleaning.

May: Moon
The Moon card denotes the Unconscious as well as cycles. May might be a month when you pay attention to your natural rhythms.

June: Sun
The Sun card represents being present, visible, and having panache. This is the month to be noticed – stand up for yourself, make yourself visible, do something spectacular – and then take the bow during the richly deserved applause!

July: Priestess
The High Priestess card represents intuition, knowledge and self-examination. Perhaps instead of taking a wild vacation to someplace that demands you focus only on the outside faces of your environment, take a retreat where you can focus completely on your self. Check out any “course corrections” that may have come up during the year (you know, where you attempted something and the Universe said “nope, not that way!”)

August: Balance/Justice
The Balance (or Justice) card represents weighing options and picking the best choices. For this month, use the information about yourself that you acquired during July’s introspection with the Priestess and work them into your life in careful, balanced way.

September: Lovers
The Lovers card (the worst named card in the deck!) has nothing to do with love or romance. The card involves choice and discernment; you can’t make a choice if you don’t have the ability to discern the choice. For instance, would you pick chocolate or chocolate? That’s not really a choice, is it? But what if I said milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Now that’s a choice! So, pay conscious attention to your choices this month. You actually choose somethingevery moment, so make sure they’re real choices.

October: Magician
The Magician card represents creativity and mastery of the elements. “Magic” comes from an old word meaning to create by word or by hand. So, use the information you’ve gotten from July, August, and September to create and manifest those things in your life that really work for you. This is the month to take action and make it all happen!

November: Empress
The Empress card denotes abundance and growth. All those seeds you planted in October by getting things done allow you to be the gracious host/ess and be giving to others during Thanksgiving. The Empress also involves boundaries, so pay attention to those issues that come up whenever old friends and family get together – buttons get pushed!

December: Universe/World
The Universe card involves having it all: all the resources, all the potential becomes real, what is manifested comes about. What a great card for the holiday season and the end of the year! December will be about getting what you asked for…so be sure to know what you really, really want in the months prior!

Spread 2 – Whole Life Mandala Spread

We picked from the Voyager Tarot deck by James Wanless; the names for his cards in some cases are a little different than the common Smith-Waite deck. The entire deck was available this time.

Self: Moon
The Moon card denotes the Unconscious as well as cycles. Pay attention to your own personal cycles this year; make sure you schedule time for YOU when you need it, so your subconscious doesn’t have to bother you about it.

Head: 9 of Crystals (9 of Swords) – Narrowness
Although in other decks, the 9 of Swords looks like the aftermath of a nightmare, it usually reminds me of waking up in the middle of the night remembering something I’ve forgotten to say or do. So, keep your focus and you’ll sleep more soundly!

Heart: 6 of Cups – Sorrow
Since 2013 represents the year after the great Transformation of 2012, you want to make sure you pay proper attention to those actions, ways of being, people and others that you have released or been detached from. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve for what was lost in the past, so you can more easily pay attention to your path going forward.

Health: 7 of Worlds (7 of Coins/Pentacles/Discs) – Breakthrough
Another card representing the the Transformation of 2012, this time of the body. I’ve heard so many people falling sick these past few months, some of them over and over again. It’s time to let go of what doesn’t serve your body! If there’s something you know you should be doing, start taking those small steps toward making your body the temple it can truly be, so you can be the radiant God/Goddess you are!

Holy: 3 of Wands – Compassion
Close to 7 billion human beings live on our wonderful planet. Each of them has a unique outlook and spiritual path, including you. Celebrate your uniqueness and honor everyone else’s: you’d be surprised by the things you may have in common. If someone disagrees with you, that’s okay – it’s their path, it doesn’t make them wrong, just different. Let’s heal the divisiveness that seems to be gaining momentum.

Feminine: Child of Wands (Page of Wands) – Seeker
Engage your natural curiosity about your path this year. Avoid jumping to conclusions or sticking in a rut, and let your mind be softer and more intuitive.

Masculine: Man of Cups (King or Knight of Cups) – Surfer
The theme of “allowing” continues, “allowing” yourself to ride on the surface of emotions, not stuffing them, but noticing them as they go through you. A friend who used to work with inner city boys said that these kids only had two allowable emotions: angry and not. Try exploring some others, and remember that even if you fall off the surfboard, it’s attached – just climb back on board and carry on.

Money: Man of Wands (King or Knight of Wands) – Actor
Fake it till you make it! The only way to heal your relationship with Money is to allow yourself the energy it represents. The way to do that is to pretend to feel it until you really do feel it.

Work: Child of Crystals (Page of Swords) – Learner
Let yourself learn new things at whatever you ‘work’ on. Pretend you’re coming to the job on the first day – what would you learn and how would you find out? Maybe you need to update or even create “desk instructions” for your successor!

Home: 8 of Worlds (8 of Coins/Pentacles/Discs) – Change
See what you can change around your house. Maybe it needs to be as big as moving; maybe as simple as organizing one aspect of your house. Try creating a corner of sacred space; if you already have one, see if there’s something new you can do with it to make it fresh and renew your sense of Spirit.

Love: Fool
What better way to be in Love! Be risk taking, adventurous, do something fun & outrageous. Maybe you need to seek out new horizons by yourself or with someone else.

Listen to this replay, as Dax & I talk about everything from Lenormand (particularly the wonderful LeNewbie Lenormand by Jera Rootweaver) to Tarot, to business practices to session prep. 90 minutes of packed info!

As of today, I now have the ability to do Skype readings -and- I’m an official reader with RainbowPsychics.com, an world-wide online psychic community. So far, I’m very impressed with their process and their insistence on quality.