March 6, 2011

I know we all have stock reasons we give when we end it with someone: "It's not you, it's me," "I'm not ready to be with anyone," "You deserve someone better," etc. Sometimes we say those things partly because we hope our vagueness softens the blow and partly because if we said the REAL reason we didn't wanna date him, it'd come off as borderline cruel.

But I want to know the real reasons you gave him the boot. Did he have bad breath? Did his family suck? Were his friends knuckleheads? Was he fussy about where to go out for dinner? Did he make weird faces in bed? Tell me in the comments!

This is your chance to get it off your chest. We have an anonymous setting for comments so feel free to use it. I have a hunch that this is going to be very entertaining.

he kept singing to me on the phone when he would call me for the third time of the day with nothing to say. Now mind you it wasn't a song he was singing, just words like that is true, very true, very very true.

I'm going to man up and post this, but I dumped a guy once because he had a soul patch that he REFUSED to shave off. It was horrible! Every time we kissed, it was like a tiny toothbrush was exfoliating my lip.

He put a confederate flag sticker on his pickup truck= redneck. Then, because he's a cook, he got a tattoo of two chef's knives crossed with "Mental Mise en Place" across the top. Really so many reasons that boil down to I was better than him. bam. I said it.

He thought he was The Best Ever in bed. He was not. Never took me out on dates (not even dinner and a movie). Snored loud enough that even with ear plugs I couldn't sleep. Spent maybe $5 on valentines day and thought that was even too much because it happens vd is his birthday too and therefor it should be all about him. And he didn't know when to stop a joke, even when I told him multiple times to stop.Oh, and this was all in less than 2 months#

One guy I went out with got super sweaty when we went out dancing. It was disgusting. It was like he was half-man and half-sprinkler. I was drenched from the runoff when he'd flip his hair. It was gnarly, as Mr. Sheen would say.

He wanted me to use a strap-on on him. And not just a normal size one, but one that was 3 inches in diameter. The thing was terrifyingly huge. Plus he had a pretty bad coke habit and medicated his anger issues with hourly weed. But the strap-on was the last straw.

He was fond of declaring "Education is for chumps!" although I have a graduate degree and he was a dropout who'd been unemployed for two years. He was very cavalier with my money. Also, he was obsessed with detestable Rilo Kiley. So many reasons.

was homeless at one point...but living in a halfway house when I met him. he slept on an air mattress. he asked me how i felt about making out on an air mattress and I thought he was joking until I saw it.

I dated a guy for a very short time sophomore year in h.s., and neither of us could drive b/c we were only 15, so our "date nights" were pretty much watching movies at each other's house. I dreaded going to his because his dad would say, "I'll give you two some privacy! {wink}", then dim the lights and close the door between their living room and kitchen. Never had a guy want someone in somebody else's pants so bad as that dudes father. I never obliged, and it only took about 3 weeks for me to break it off with him.

I'm a Jewish girl too, so yes I give great head. I might be breaking up with the best guy I have even know because he isn't ok with raising the kids fully jewish. Its not the same sacrifice for him, his people are not becoming extinct...

I dumped a guy because he took me to this crummy dive bar and he knew EVERYONE there, even the gross old dudes that look like their asses are glued to the barstool. Not to be a snob, but there's no way that I'd want to flop around that dive bar with him on our dates. As Mystery would say, it was a "demonstration of lower value."

Dude wore a striped dress shirt, stonewashed bootcut jeans with black dress shoes on our first date. GAG. I tried to hang in there for a few more dates but that outfit was so vivid in my mind. Must repress.

Never agree to a date with a doctor when you've only seen him in scrubs.

Because he was obsessed with the Penguins and acted like his shirts and hoodies were sacred. Couldn't even borrow one to wear out of the place, without him flipping shit..what a freak. You care more about a dumb t-shirt than another human?

I have a couple reasons for a couple different break ups. 1. He giggled in during sex. I was creeped out since it wasn't like I was telling him jokes. 2. Guy never went down on me when he demanded the opposite. 3. Called any guy with better fashion then him gay. Hello, I live in Fishtown!?!?

Reasons: -Porn sex, theatrical and overdone every time. I'll say your name if I want to! Stop calling me a dirty slut!-Way too into his hair, asked me to straighten it any time he came over-Was skinny and hated taking his shirt off, anytime he did he'd make a remark about looking like a little boy... automatic un-sexy pedophile thoughts!-Paranoid as fuck about cops. If someone knocked on the door without calling first, he'd freak & rattle of statistics about police framing people for crimes

I found out one boyfriend cheated on me. He couldn't understand why I was dumping his ass immediately. All he kept saying was, "Why does it have to be all or nothing with you?" CASE CLOSED, MOTHERFUCKER.

Fave bands included Evanescence and The Fray. REFUSED to watch Arrested Development. Despite the fact that I got him something awesome for Christmas, did not get me anything for Christmas or my birthday (three weeks after Christmas). Pretty much let me pay for everything.

1. teeny weenie. and unimaginative.2. dribbled my head like a basketball during bjs--this makes me NEVER WANT TO GO DOWN ON YOU.3. personality was too mild. by far.4. overweight5. suggested we go out for a nice dinner and when the place he suggested only took cash stuck me with a hefty tab. very hefty.

Reasons I've dumped someone:1) He spent longer on his hair than anyone I've ever met, ladies included.2) Used the word bounce un-ironically, as in: "I gotta bounce".3) A Brit I once dated would not stop reciting the "To be, or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet in attempt to impress people.

I once dumped a guy telling him he lived too far away and I couldn't do long distance anymore, but it was really a combination of 1) i wanted to hook up with other guys when i got drunk on the weekends and he wasn't there (i didn't while we dated... but did as soon as I dumped him). and 2) for only seeing someone once a month and calling them your girlfriend, you'd think he'd wanna take you out every now and then... like boyfriends do sometimes. nope. i was so over it.

I dumped a guy after he said he couldn't see me for 3 weeks, cause he was furiously studying for the GMAT. Apparently he would NEVER forgive himself if he didn't spend every iota of his time studying... it was his goal in LIFE to be accepted to University of Chicago's MBA program.

He said I was a "distraction." I took it as a compliment, as most sexy girls would. Then I told him to go f*ck himself. You can't make any time for me in 3 weeks?!? Buhhhh-bye...

1. Bad breath (vomitously bad), obsessed with The Crow.2. Deaf, 11 years older than me, neither of which were deal breakers. Kissed like his tongue was having a seizure in my mouth, which was.3. Was more into me than I was into him. Overcompensated by telling him I was a lesbian, then acting gay around him for the next year and a half.

I have ditched a dude mid-makeout because I saw a Devils jersey on top of his laundry hamper. (Flyers all the way! I will accept a Rangers or Islanders fan at a push, but there's just no reason to like the Devils enough to own a jersey.)

I have also rejected boys for "being too tan" and "refusing to wear a shirt". I mean, I'm from Jersey, but come ON.

1. Only listened to the Dead and Phish2. Thought a whale was a fish3. Voice was too high-pitched (he sounded like me)4. His favorite band was Bush (this was 1996 but still)5. Offered me a line of coke on our first date6. Talked about his glory days of high school football way too much (he was 32)

I was very serious for this guy for years. Two weeks to the day after we started talking about the m-word, he fessed to making out, multiple times, with some Mexican tart with big ass and a chubby face. This confession was only made after she posted pictures of them way too close to be new friends on the fuckbook. He could not figure out for at least two years (no joke-stalker for two years) why I wouldn't take him back. Do boys really think they can get away with anything without any sort of retribution?

1. Every statement he made was pseudo-profound. "Isn't it amazing how many people live in this city? It really makes you think." It made me think this guy was an idiot2. He was so boring that I had to make a list of things to talk about before we met up.

I made out with this guy in his kitchen a couple of times while we were drunk but he had this habit of losing his balance when we'd kiss and I'd have to prop him up?? Does that make sense? Like, his body would get limp and kind of fall on me? After a while, I'd either get sick of holding him up OR I'd lose my balance too then we'd both bang into the fridge door together or something and I'd bruise my hip. It was so strange! It was like some Weekend at Bernie's shit.

I have no idea if I've captured how annoying it was to make out with him, but it was the stupidest thing ever.

It was date #3... First one was out at a wine place in town, getting to know each other, sharing & comparing stories of being the youngest and most adventurous kid of all our siblings.

Second date was out for dinner at a vegetarian place (because of me... thoughtful!) but conversation was a bit repetitive of the prior date... and third was an invite to dinner at his house, cooked by him.

I showed up and he was wearing his scrubs + crocs (dentist). He made pasta with olive oil & pesto (a one-course meal). His after-dinner activity of choice was to have me join him on the couch to watch TV.

One minute he was laughing at the show and starting to make attempts at holding my hand / putting his hand on my knee, and about 5 minutes later he was snoring.

He was a nice guy, and a busy dude, but that night in his home he was a very different person (a little too comfortable / barely making an effort in his familiar surroundings) than when we had been out, and it killed it for me.

all different guys.1. jealous dude2. i didn't like the shape of his mouth3. he was tanner than me. and catholic.4. tiniest penis EVER5. he had earrings. like... circular hoop earrings.6. was convinced my GAY best friend was trying to get in my pants7. was a foot and a half taller than me, skinnier than me, and had a horrid tattoo and a coke problem8. drugs, drugs, and more drugs.9. told me he was four years older than me. after i slept with him he confessed to being two years younger than me, and then called me a cougar!!!10. was 26, shared a studio apt in the ghetto with 2 other dudes, and was so proud to only own 2 spare teeshirts, a sleeping bag, and a marijuana plant. (also, said room mates--WAY cuter than him)

Since we're going anonymous here-- honestly it was because he was bouncing between antidepressants and I couldn't deal with the mood changes and he didn't provide me with enough incentive to stick the course. Sad, but true.He was gorgeous and had an amazing sex drive, so I hope he got those issues squared away

i know i started divorce proceedings because of a pile of reasons, but really it's because of those damn blue shirts. boxy, baggy, icky, and completely unflattering but he wore them everyday (he had a bunch). begged him to stop wearing them. asked nicely. hell, even bought him nicer shirts - but he wouldn't. i remember asking him, "you want me to touch you naked, right?". egad.

2nd date, I came by his place and he led me to his bedroom where he had written poems for me on scraps of paper and had them stuck to his walls with red candle wax. Creepy shit. 2nd date!! I was outta there.

(All different guys)1.) Confessed to dating me because I looked like his ex gf.2.) Slept on a raft. Not an airmattress... an actual inflattable raft that one would use in a pool.3.) Read too much Ayn Rand.4.) Got drunk in front of his kid.

He was behind me rubbing my shoulders and after I while, I felt something weird on the back of my neck. I reached and felt tons of saliva! He had been spitting on me the whole time! I freaked out, washed myself off and left!

1.) Dated one guy who basically was Napoleon Dynamite, also wouldn't drink and was 6'1" and about 120lbs (yeah I didn't think that was possible either!) on account of the fact that he didn't like food with more flavor than a slice of bread. Oh, and when I lent him my copy of Slaughterhouse Five, he told me the book was "a nice story". Real nice guy, but yeah that wasn't going to work, lol.

2.) This guy completely DIDN'T LIKE food, and also didn't like learning anything beyond what he already knew, which is a pretty sad state to be in at 25, lol. We lived together, and I thought the area we lived in was a fair compromise, but he later told me that he didn't like being "so far away from his parents". They were a 30 MINUTE DRIVE. Yeah, dude had a complex. Next! lol

3.) I should've been tipped off when I told him I wanted to go back to school for my PhD, and his response was "Wow! You're, like, the smartest person I know!" This dude was 8 years older than me and had lived on Long Island for at least 23 years, whereas I've only been here for 4.5 years and here I was explaining the Long Island Railroad (commuter rail) to him. Not only is this not a difficult concept AT ALL, but the LIRR has been exactly the same for at least 200 years, lol. Oh, I also had to explain E-Z Pass to him. You put money on the tag, you go over a bridge, you get a discount. NOT TOO HARD, lol. Oh, and one time we were going to go out suit shopping for him, so I gave him like a week and a half to make sure he had $100 set aside for a suit. What does he do? He shows up at my house and says "I don't have any money for a suit." Honestly I don't know how people like this are still alive, lol. Oh he also had a tendency to buy chicks engagement rings after the first date. Oh also, he was ginormous, basically the opposite of the previous two guys, and while telling me he was trying to lose weight, would eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's during break at work. UGH.

4.) A guy I dated in high school was cast as the male lead in the spring musical, and the director didn't like us together as a couple so she chose someone else for the female lead even though I was her first choice. So I dumped him since he was obviously ruining my career in theatre, lol.

I also liked a guy who was disturbingly hardcore in love with one of my best friends, and another guy who, despite being smart as a whip, told me he thought evolution was BS. They actually broke it off with me though, lol (can't imagine why for the first guy lol).

I'm all for a man who is trying to better himself but this guy was obsessed with AA. Everything was some AA saying. All he ever did in his free time was attend meetings, hang out at coffee shops with AA people, couldn't go out of town without knowing where meetings would be. He had been sober for 10 YEARS!

I've dumped a lot of men for a lot of reasons, here are the more amusing highlights:1. Because every time we passed a tractor he would say "John Deer" 2. Pinky-sized package3. Tore his sushi up with his fingers, ate only the rice and asked for plate after plate of ginger to eat as if it were the main course.4. Had a ridiculously huge outtie belly button that made me gag whenever he got naked.

He hated the fact I was still friends with some of my exes, picked a fight about it by sitting on my stairs pouting like a 3-year old, pulling the "nothing's wrong" crap and then started crying (like a heartbroken child) when I snapped & got super pissed about it. He was also under the delusion that calling the house I own "his house" (two words for THAT one: um...no) was cool.

I once dumped a guy because he was obsessed with fire-spinning, drum circles, and pagan gatherings... even though he wasn't pagan. He would constantly call, saying he was on his way, and then show up hours later with no explanation as to why he was late. And the kicker is I found out he cheated on me while we were living together during my first semester of grad school. He still wanted to stay together, and I was like, "Excuse me, what???"

I dumped a guy in high school because he never took me out on a date. His idea of buying me dinner was McDonald's or Wendy's and never had money because every cent he had went into his P.O.S. Cavalier that he was "pimpin' out". Then, I found out he was cheating on me and got an STD from the dirty ho. HA!

1. Long distance guy, I asked him over the phone what he had done the night before. "Oh, I hung out with so and so and we smoked some crack." Wait, what?! how do I KNOW someone who has smoked crack, nevermind dating someone who has.

2. After date three, dude couldn't make it to my bday party because he had to watch his daughter.Totally not the part that was a big deal. while watching her, he had a friend over and they did heroin. "What's the big deal, she was asleep." Again, how did this happen to me and why are all these dudes so cavalier about it like I am totally down with drugs?!

3. First date was going ok, until he totally tried to JUSTIFY MURDERING ABORTION PROVIDERS ON OUR DATE.

You know, it wasn’t the guy with anger issues, who yelled at me when I confronted him about them. It wasn’t even the guy who had a thing for big women, and gave my then-skinny ass a complex by noticeably checking them out in front of me.

Oh, no, no. It was the guy whom I realized, immediately after sleeping with him, had flipped me over during the act not to switch it up, but to pull the condom off, literally behind my back.

The same guy also had a super tiny dick that would always slip out while he was banging me and he'd let out this little whimper and apologize for it saying, "I don't know why it's not working." IT'S NOT WORKING 'CAUSE YOUR DICK SUCKS AT FUCKING. It made me want to die.

typical guy, there are 2 things that make for a shitty blow job: #1, injudicious use of teeth, and/or lack of sufficient lube and #2, lack of enthusiasm. If you get someone who just doesn't like giving head, she's going to be terrible at it. If you get someone who just doesn't like giving you head (manscaping, odor issues, unfamiliarity with the territory, pissed off at your for some reason, etc. etc. etc.), she's going to be terrible at it. If you get someone who is a selfish, selfish human being, they're not going to give a rat's ass about someone else's pleasure, and they're going to be terrible at it. Find yourself someone who LOVES to suck cock, and you'll find yourself an amazing blow job.

1) his house was hoarders-filthy...pets and stink.2) The only time we made out, he started licking my neck, chest like he was some dog and wouldn't stop even after I told him to stop. I smelled like spit afterward and that made me ill. 3) had this whole "nice guy" act going on and then one night he txt'd me randomly and said 'when am I finally going to get a blow job from you?" i had no desire to see his junk! this was AFTER the licking incident.

only dumped one guy. tipping point: my mini ice cream sandwich was in that weird state where you could tell it had melted in shipment, then re-froze.

larger scheme: went to see the killers at the borgata. on the way there, won tickets to see the killers the following evening. i was excited. he scoffed and said "we're not going to that" even though we had no plans for that day, and we were DRIVING BY THE VENUE FOR CONCERT #2 ON THE WAY HOME FROM CONCERT #1.

still gets me fired up. he was an all-around douche and we didn't even like each other. we were 100% settling. his skin was also always almost green, like he was able to get tan, but refused to do it. as a ginge, i always resented that. live and learn, i guess.

I'm only gonna get into the reasons I dumped my latest ex, and I still don't even know where to begin:

> Had "insomnia" and swore the only place he was able to fall asleep was on the couch in the living room. For six months, we slept in separate "beds" (technically, his was a sectional).

> Was hardly ever willing to have sex, and on the rare occasion that he was, he positively refused to remove his shirt/boxers. As the girl, aren't I supposed to be the self-conscious one?

> Was incredibly sensitive and wanted to have a discussion about EVERYTHING. Any time I became even the slightest bit perturbed about something he said/did, it would turn into an hours-long argument.

> Was highly pretentious & judgmental and seemed to only enjoy discussing philosophy and the classes he was taking as a history major. Cool. Have fun not making any money once you graduate.

> Would constantly gripe about hating the fact that he was a hipster, when he was, in fact, not a hipster at all.

> Had Godsmack on his iPod. And didn't hide it.

> Lived with his parents. Granted, he was 22 and still in school, but I don't want to have to walk out past your mom & dad eating breakfast when I leave in the morning. It's just awkward, even if they are cool with me spending the night.

> Had an extremely sensitive stomach, causing him to not be able to eat a plethora of different foods. Also caused him to burp. All. The. Time.

> Made himself a copy of my apartment key. Without asking. Then didn't tell me about it for a couple of weeks. Upon finding out this information and calling it "a little creepy," he became extremely offended and continued to bring it up intermittently throughout the rest of our relationship.

> My mom came into town and took us out to dinner & drinks and paid for the whole tab. He didn't say "thank you." Even after I reminded him to.

> Always had a problem with me hanging out with/talking to male friends/my ex, even though the vast majority of his friends were female.

This is kind of crazy, but I was seeing a guy for a hot minute and I noticed that he was checking Shmitten Kitten from his work CONSTANTLY. Like, upwards of 50 times a day. I could tell because his workplace server name was listed in my stats so it took about one second to figure out it was him. I never told him that was why I blew him off because how do you bring that up? I considered calling him out on it, but there wasn't a point. I just backed away slowly.

He didn't drink coffee or alcohol, and was a vegetarian to boot. I could maybe get on board with one of those, but fuck that sad, unfun trifecta. And he didn't even have a reason for not drinking like religion or a family history of alcoholism. And he was like 25! He just...didn't. So weird.

A. I once broke up with a guy due to dragon breath, even after brushing his teeth, which I found out was a rare ocassion, it still smelled. Grossed me out big time!

B. Broke up with this one guy who told me he found the one (meaning me) on our first date and only knowing him like 2 hours....deal breaker!!

C. I dated this guy who said he had a couple of drinks a week to unwind, which wasn't a problem to me (I don't drink and don't want someone who drinks like a fish)only to find out he polished off a 5th daily and chased it with a 12 pack of beer! I guess he thought I wouldn't notice!

D. This guy I went out with one time (key word one time) told me as a matter of factly that he had a ball problem and couldn't wash them, he was too sensitive, good thing nobody was seated near us at this nice restaurant. Glad he didn't order fetachini alfredo, the thought of cheese (famunda cheese) under his sac was more than I could handle and needless to say, I got an instant visual.

E. A great looking guy, well dresed, good job, own home, etc. etc. thought it was funny as we were leaving the restaurant to fart loudly by people's tables as they were eating to see their reaction, meanwhile I was caught in the cross fire and it smelled like something crawled up his ass and died 3 years ago!

F. Met a guy online who said he was 5'10" and was 45, when I met up with him, it turned out he was like 5'2" and 68, did he think I wouldn't notice?? I ate and left and he had the nerve to try and kiss me, good thing I'm very tall and he was to my shoulder, but when he tried, he had stale crotch rot breath and was missing most of his teeth and the rest were rotted with what looked like last months food still gommed up in his teeth, so gross...YUCK!!!!!

G. Broke up with a guy who said he still had the same sheets on his bed for 5 years and they used to be off white, it made me think of what his tobacco stained, racing striped underwear must have looked like...there is such a thing as sharing too much info, but he was honest and good thing.

H. A guy I met had pinky toes that stood straight up looking at the ceiling, that freaked me out and he had the nerve to wear flip flops, I'd be hiding that shit or have it surgically corrected, too freaky for me.

I. Another guy I met would never take his underwear off when we had sex, I even went as far as to bring it to his attention and he pretended not to hear me and I pretended to not see him anymore, dumped him via text and never saw him again, too weird! (Guys have any comments on this one? I'm still baffled).

J. I caught my date picking his nose and eating it...."TAXI!!!!" I was out of there and so sick to my stomach, he was like 34 years old! I guess he was trying to save money on ordering an appetizer.

K. He farted constantly and making sure everyone heard it, I think farts are funny myself, but there is a time and place for everything.

L. Went on a first and only date with someone who didn't think anything of telling me he didn't know how to have sex, at 40, it wasn't my job to teach him!

M. Picking up cigarette butts off the ground and emptying the tobacco out so he could make his own so it would not cost anything, nasty ass!

N. Speaking of nasty ass...this guy I met for the first time bent over to pick something up and there was a down wind, smelled like he hasn't washed his ass in God knows when...nasty!

These are all true stories, all of the above is everything us women are looking for in a man, especially the ones who want you to support them and don't think a thing about it...NOT.

Broke up with a guy because he always wore super-tight skinny jeans with flipflops. His hobbit feet just grossed me out too much. Which is a shame, because he was super attractive from the waist up. Ginger-headed Irish. My one true weakness.

I called it off after 4 weeks but should have taken notice on the first "red" flag.

1)OK Cupid meetup went well (January 28 2011)

2) Made her a 3 course dinner then after making out, hot and heavy she says "I'm not having sex with you till April". RED FLAG (Feb 2)

3) Spending lots of time together as we both make our own schedules for work.

4) Snow day! Snow shovels everyone's sidewalk on my block in addition to her car but not mine??? (WEIRD I know but DAMN!) RED FLAG 2 why would she do that?

5) Take her to some of the coolest spots, share awesome books, music and MOVIES. All of a sudden their HER FAVORITE (Red flag 3)

6) It got VERY weird for me after #6 so I let go as this is too much too soon...

7) THE REAL KICKER! She is now going to all of the spots I introduced her too, got the haircut I told her that would look fabulous on her AND is back on OKCUPID and her favorite authors, places to hang out, movies and her new hair cut ARE ALL UP on her PROFILE!!!!! WTF !!!!

I never thought that a girl could be a "creep"! This totally takes the Liberty Bell cake!!!

Oh, and she totally fronted on the sneakers. As many of you woman know, sneakers can play an important part of a mans life and when you pose as a "sneaker pimp" and are not, things can go very wrong.......

Decided to move out of state to escape a guy who chose to ride his bike through town with an american flag tied around his neck and eat pizza out of the dumpster while sitting under a bridge down by the river. I wish I was lying.

All different guys:1) My childhood crush I reconnected with at 21 wore a leopard thong to bed and admitted to being a former male stripper who made out with men for money. He also told me how wonderful it would be if I got pregnant and he would raise the baby. His "best friend" was especially close. I'm assuming I was an egg bank.2) Boyfriend #1: smacked my kitten across the room and threatened to drown him and his sister while I was at work. Also threatened to kill himself if I dumped him. He drank a 40 and smoked a bag of weed every day. I worked and he would get money from his mom to gamble away at the bar.3) Another one had a Cosmo and condom wrapper on his bedside table and tried to convince me they were his roommate's girlfriend's. He stole $700 from me. Now he is a heroin addict.4) The boyfriend I never argued with was on a male chat site while I was at Basic Training and started dating some dude after we broke it off. I should have known when he assembled complete outfits together and knew more lyrics to High School Musical and Hairspray than I did.5) One guy's jackhammer technique in the bedroom was not impressive. Although he took me to some nice restaurants and a petting zoo. But he told me my ass wasn't big enough and I was too nice. His friends who were girls were apparently bitches who would rip me to shreds.6) I had a blind date on a motorcycle - it was a beautiful ride. But he kept talking about Asians and I got creeped out and never talked to him again.7) Some creeper I met at a dingy dive bar called me his girlfriend after the second date and cried when I told him I didn't want to see him again. He proceeded to call me every night to whine about how jerk guys ruin things for nice guys and they set up hurdles for nice guys to jump over. Wah wah.8) My brother's friend (7 years older) took me to a really great ale place. He asked me what some of my dreams were and proceeded to tell me he wanted to do those things with me. He said he had liked me ever since he was 10. Yeah, I was 3. He called me the next day to say he missed me. I didn't answer so he called 3 times a day every day for a week until I called him back and screamed at him.

I could go on, but I won't. All of these stories just make me feel fortunate for my boyfriend now.

I once nipped a potential romance in the bud when the girl whipped out her phone to get my number and had a NJ Devils background picture. Ughh. I didn't give it to her.

I dumped a girl cuz her room was always dirtier than mine. And my room is usually not clean.

I dummped a girl cuz she didn't put any effort into dating me. She was cool and seemed to genuinely like me, but didn't call/text/e-mail/anything unless I made first contact. Until I broke it off, at least. (She said she had been hurt and was just worried about players.. I told her I was worried about baggage..)

I dumped a girl cuz she didn't smell nice. She didn't smell bad, but if I can't pick you out of a lineup blindfolded, it ain't gonna work out for us in the long run. C'mon ladies...

OMG I'm totally the girl that doesn't contact guys! I usually let the guy dictate the pace of communication at first because I don't want to seem too clingy. That's my greatest fear: that my desire to not come off as needy somehow drives the guy away or shows disinterest. YIKES!

I can't stand a guy who tries to shove his music down my throat. I like to listen to new stuff in my own time, not with someone perched and waiting for a reaction. One guy got into a huge argument with me because I didn't want to rip my panties off in a frenzy of excitement because he played My Morning Jacket. I was done.

Anna, there is definitely something to be said for not being clingy - no guy wants that. However, if I'm always the one doing all of the legwork, soon enough I'm going to start asking myself if you are actually interested in me, or if you're just putting up with me for free meals/concerts/whatever or even just the validation of going on dates with a cute guy. Regardless of the answer, if I'm at the point where I'm asking myself the question, your time is probably up. At least shoot the guy an innocent text or email once in a while. Heck, even a facebook poke is better than nothing (barely, but still).

Oh also, I dumped another girl cuz she went on a coke binge and hit me in the face with a wrench. So, don't do that either.

Shopped for clothing at Kohl'sCargo Shorts, SQUARED-toed sneakers with socksOnly like music from the 90's (went to a Mighty Might Bostones Concert in 2010)Thought he was a great cook but always made pastaMasturbated multiple times per day and would tell me about it, obsessed with pornSpelling errors in constant text messages

This guy was a 28 year old virgin. I thought it was because he was quiet, shy and sweet, and I was willing to "break him in". It turned out he was intensely phobic of having sex because he was certain almost everyone had HIV/AIDS. WTF? I told him I don't have HIV/AIDS and that I had been tested, but he didn't believe me. That was short lived.

I dumped a guy because his head was shaped like a peanut. It was fine straight on, but from any sort of angle all I could see was a peanut. Also, he had terrible calf tattoos he considered something edgy that would upset his mother. He had a very good job but slept on a mattress on the floor with his dog on top of him [us]. His once-white shower curtain and tile was entirely black with mold.

2nd date: only walked me half-way home (don't go out of your way or anything, dude!)3rd date: walked me all the way home, but stopped half-way to urinate in public, and then tried to go in for a first kiss.I broke it off using Slydial.

Having sex with him was much like how it must be like to have sex with a dog... minus all the fur.

He liked to lick me. No, not a little lick along the earlobe or on places where it felt good - I mean that he seemed to think I was a giant lollipop and would end up literally soaked in spit.

He was also easily excitable. The licking typically occurred in a rather fast-paced fashion, much like in the way a dog licks your face. Suddenly, in the middle of it, BAM! he's inside me. No warning, nothing. One moment I'm being drowned in saliva, the next moment he's going at it like there's no tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a guy who is orally focused and eager... but I like knowing what's going on and not ending the night smelling like my dude's breath.