Okay I decided to post in this section, though it could just as easily go in the "assumption" one, the "won't be possible" one and the Special Snowflake thread! My brother received a message from a coworker. He has promised to show me the actual email, mostly because I just have to see this for myself. I will try to explain but my brain is pretty broken trying to fathom the cluelessness and entitlement going on here. Let me break it down:

My brother has a coworker - he's not a boss, not a supervisor, not a friend - a coworker. They do not even work in the same section; they work on different parts of the same project. My brother describes his socialization with this guy as "we're (barely) acquaintances but he loves to tell me all his problems." Clueless Co-Irker also has a habit of mooching rides to lunch since he takes a van pool to work. Bro avoids him whenever possible and the number of non-work-related conversations he has had with this guy over the years has been somewhere between nil and negligible. /BG

So my brother gets an email from this guy "voluntelling" Bro that he is going to come to Clueless's house next weekend and cook bbq for Clueless and his other friends while they go play golf.

...... Ba? Whu? Huh? Zoy?

When Bro told me about this, I peppered him with questions, trying in vain to find some silver of logic to explain this. No such luck:A possible previous forgotten discussion? Nope, this was the first Bro was even hearing of it.So no hint until now? Correct.No "hey what are you doing next weekend?" or "would you like to-?" Nada.Had they had a previous conversation about grilling/food/golf/cookouts anything to suggest Bro would have any interest from any angle whatsoever? NONE.Was the weekend in question a holiday or special occasion?? Nope just the day Clueless wanted to golf and be catered to apparently! Bro also told me that this guy lives a really long distance away. Like long enough that he probably wouldn't accept an actual invitation to something at his house (as opposed to the brain-melting 'summons' he actually received!).Towards the end of the conversation I was saying to my brother "Are you sure he meant to send it to you? Maybe it was meant for an actual friend in another department or he's confusing you with somebody else??" Bro said he name was in the body of the email.

Apparently Clueless said that he would "show [Bro] where the alcohol was," from which Bro inferred that his time and assumed pit mastery would be compensated for in liquor. Just to reiterate the scenario that Clueless described in the email: my brother would be slaving over a hot grill while this coworker and his buddies enjoyed a game of golf!

So of course I asked my Bro how he replied. He said he wrote back at the end of today informing Clueless that he "had to bow out of the event C had planned" or something to that effect.

So basically, my brother politely declined to work as hired help free slave labor for a peer/near stranger who assumed he literally would do it without being asked!

I...I just....can't...even.

~*~*~*~*~*~Okay so I talked to Bro some more and turns out the email is an extension of an earlier delusion. Clueless came in and told Bro in person (so we have to shatter the last hope we were all holding out that the email wasn't meant for Bro) that he was organizing this golf party and Bro was going to do the cooking. Same as email - he didn't ask just assumed his saying it made it a reality and didn't give any other info so Bro just assumed Clueless was talking out of his nether regions (re: both the party and Bro's role in it) until the email showed up. Apparently a very large number of people (coworkers) are expected to attend this little party, and as far as Bro knows he was the only one asked told to fix food.So. Different mediums, same message and same assumptions.Still rude. Still entitled. Still SO not gonna happen.

« Last Edit: August 24, 2013, 05:24:32 PM by Softly Spoken »

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"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't." ~Frank A. Clark

I'm not sure why you're needing to lie down over an entitled email your brother received, but it seems like he handled it very well. If the nature of the event changes, there's nothing wrong with bowing out.

I'm not sure why you're needing to lie down over an entitled email your brother received, but it seems like he handled it very well. If the nature of the event changes, there's nothing wrong with bowing out.

I'm exhausted from trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing.

The thing is - he (my brother) didn't bow into it in the first place! He didn't know there WAS an event! And it was not a bait and switch, the "nature" of the event was described to my brother as "you will grill for us while we golf and oh yeah have some booze."He wasn't invited - this guy talked about it like it was a done deal in an email mentioning it for the first time.You have to appreciate the irony of someone declining an invitation that he never actually received...

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"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't." ~Frank A. Clark

If someone told this story about how their MIL told them to come over and BBQ while the rest of the family went out golfing (or anywhere else, for that matter) we would be loudly decrying the toxic nature of the MIL.

Having it be a male coworker instead of someone's MIL doesn't make it any less toxic, unbelievable, or outrageous. If anything, it makes it even harder to understand - because there is no tie of blood, marriage, or friendship in there to explain why Clueless thought that the OP's brother would follow up with this demand "faux invitation" and show up to cook.

If someone told this story about how their MIL told them to come over and BBQ while the rest of the family went out golfing (or anywhere else, for that matter) we would be loudly decrying the toxic nature of the MIL.

Having it be a male coworker instead of someone's MIL doesn't make it any less toxic, unbelievable, or outrageous. If anything, it makes it even harder to understand - because there is no tie of blood, marriage, or friendship in there to explain why Clueless thought that the OP's brother would follow up with this demand "faux invitation" and show up to cook.

POD. It's still definitely SS territory and gast-flabbering!

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

That's pretty funny! And yet another crazy thing i've heard on EHell and just want to try.

Hey, Softly Spoken, You should be there by 7 on Friday so i can show you where the dog food is and everything. There are homemeade pickles in the fridge. I'll be home sometime around 8 Sunday evening if i don't call you for a ride! TA!

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It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can. ~Gaslight Anthem

That's pretty funny! And yet another crazy thing i've heard on EHell and just want to try.

Hey, Softly Spoken, You should be there by 7 on Friday so i can show you where the dog food is and everything. There are homemeade pickles in the fridge. I'll be home sometime around 8 Sunday evening if i don't call you for a ride! TA!

Well, I'd like to think I'd have a shiny spine but...I love dogs...and pickles. But I can't drive so "I'm afraid that won't be possible!"

And Merry Mrs Martin - the funny thing is Bro is actually very good at grilling and loves to do it - for himself and the family that appreciates him and his skill (and buys him things like bbq cookbooks, new tongs and metal grill skewers for xmas and b-days - because we are generous and thoughtful like that ). But his grill skill has never come up at work.

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"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't." ~Frank A. Clark