Mr. Hand: Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?[Desmond raises hand]Mr. Hand: Yes, Desmond?Desmond: I saw him outside, near the food machines.Mr. Hand: How long ago?Desmond: Right before class.Mr. Hand: All right. Bring him in.[Desmond exits]Mr. Hand: What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!

Spicoli: Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here! Hola, Mr. Hand.Mr. Hand: What's the reason for your truancy?Spicoli: Just couldn't make it on time.Mr. Hand: You mean you couldn't or wouldn't?Spicoli: See, there was a full crowd at the food lines.Mr. Hand: Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why must you shamelessly waste my time like this?Spicoli: [thinks it over] I don't know.Mr. Hand: [writes I DON'T KNOW on the chalkboard] I like that. Hmm Hmm. "I don't know," that's nice. 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' 'Gee Mr. Spicoli, I don't know.' That's nice, I really like that. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to leave your words on my board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.Spicoli: All right!

[to Mark] I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ****in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.