The elusive Sandra Bullock communicates solely through award show appearances. Her first since ex-husband Jesse James' neo-Nazi cheating scandal was supposed to be tonight's MTV Movie Awards, but she made a surprise appearance at last night's Spike TV Guys' Choice Awards, Hollywood's annual celebration of hetero-aggressive open-mouth panting where everyone drinks testosterotinis and the trophies are elaborate phalluses. Sandy wore a skintight leather dress and her hair in tousled waves. She was there to accept the Troops' Choice award, voted by members of the military. In case you are deaf to celebrity appearance-ese, I will spell it out for you: Sandy is so over Jesse and ready to snag herself a new muscle-bound manly-man of tattoos, spittoons, and swearing. Or, you know, whatever glossy simulacra of that L.A. has to offer. [TMZ, People, image via Getty]

Robert Pattinson showed up at Christina Aguilera's house and "begged to spend the morning with her" because he was "desperate to escape the paparazzi." Do celebrities really do that? Anyway, Xtina supposedly gave him safe haven, which means she will soon need her own safe haven, to escape rabid twihards enraged that she's moving in on their man. [ContactMusic]

To secure daily work releases from his 30-day Aspen prison sentence, Charlie Sheen will work as an acting coach at Theatre Aspen. One man's prison pitfall is another theater director's celebrity windfall. [TMZ]

More evidence that Heidi Montag's split from Spencer Pratt is a sham: The lease she and swingin' single buddy Jen Bunney signed from their girls-only house is only three months long. [TMZ]

Just when you thought Amy Winehouse's new "clean-cut boyfriend" Reg Traviss was going to save her from trainwreck implosion, turns out he's a cheating scoundrel with a stripper girlfriend of two years named Raven Isis Holt. (Allegedly.) Last time a guy had questionably maybe-overlapping relationships with a celebrity and a stripper, it was Jesse James, and we all know how that turned out. [INFDaily]

Gary Coleman's ex-manager is feuding with his ex-wife over his estate. Dion Mial is the executor of Gary's estate, but Shannon Price had considered herself his wife, even though they technically divorced two years ago. Shannon had medical authority and pulled the plug, but Dion says she has "absolutely no rights or authority" when it comes to posthumous decision-making, like arrangements for the funeral. [Radar]

To blitz the planet with promotions for Eat Pray Love, Julia Roberts has 20 international magazine covers planned. This blandly uplifting movie starring a blandly facelifted actress will be unavoidable, so we may as well start convincing ourselves we will enjoy Sex and the Namaste, because it'll be screened into our subconsciousnesses whether we like it or not. [P6]

Victoria isn't the only one with a secret! (I've been waiting so long to use that line.) Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks is "secretly" dating Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard. If female models and male athletes always pair up, then what happens to male models and female athletes? [P6]

Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan is divorcing wife Ilusion after 16 years of marriage. He announced it on his website. [CesarsWay]