Becoming Ann Again

Friday, September 18, 2015

I know I am not the only one, but it was getting to the point that I was wasting hours a day looking at mindless stuff, usually stuff that made me feel badly about myself and less than everyone else. So I did it, I pulled the plug. It is day 3 and honestly, I don't miss it, much... I do catch myself sometimes looking for something to look at, but it usually passes and believe it or not, I've actually gotten back to my list of things I want/need to do and have started doing them. I have a sign by my desk that says:

You know all those things you always wanted to do?

You should go do them!

I am working on my first retreat, the goal is to complete it before the end of the year. I will be a day and half event and will host 10-12 women. The goal is to test content and figure out how to move forward at hosting longer events. Stay tuned, I will share progress as I go. For now, good bye to Face Book, hello a couple extra hours coming back into my days.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I've been on my journey to build my spiritual relationship with God for sometime now. It makes me and those around me nervous sometimes. I believe that there is good in everyone and that there is probably truth in most religions.

I also believe that no matter who you are or what you believe, there is only one God and one Jesus Christ and I don't believe that any single religion has a corner on that market. I have been on the receiving end of someone who believed that by taking the sacrament in a church that I had not been baptized into, disrespected her faith. But let me ask this question, if I have been baptized and have committed my life to following Christ, does it really matter? Think about that next time you catch yourself thinking that because someone isn't the same religion as you, that somehow they are not worthy to follow Christ....

I was actually told that I could not participate, it was embarassing and very hurtful. Jesus said, Come Follow Me, he spent his time with imperfect and probably unworthy people, those are the ones that needed him most. Why then do we think that only those that "belong" and are active and are believing this religion or that are the only ones worthy to follow. This has been a big question for me and something I spend a lot of my time pondering. I know that rules are rules, but I also know that a lot of rules in religion come from the human manmade perspective, anything that is not inclusive does not come from God.

I'll get off my soapbox now, but hoped this would spark a conversation, an understanding, some mercy and a little bit of grace.

Monday, August 10, 2015

I won't even try to go back and catch things up, time to look and move forward! It's been quite a few months of struggle, but now I am feeling healed and ready and worthy. I am becoming who I need to be. The journey so far has been amazing and my goal is to record the next part of the journey. Time to pull my camera out and share my amazing journey.

I will bring you up to date as far as the last few months, life has been to interesting to leave this Summer out of the equation.

On Memorial Day, I was flying in the backseat of the Hawker Sea Fury with Joe, we were doing what he always does on this day, honoring our veterans. It was a beautiful day, but things were not exactly "on the mark". We had successfully flown over 2 of the cemeteries and was headed for the 3rd of 5 targets. There was a slight issue with some equipment so the decision was made to head back to the airport and land. Everything was normal, the flight, the approach, the landing...and then in a split second, the landing was anything but normal. We had touched down and was slowing to exit the runway. Instead of going off to the right, the plane started an arch to the left at which point I knew things were not right. Sitting in the back my head is just above the canopy, I don't wear a helmet, my instinct told me to get my head down as far as I could, given the restraint of the parachute and the harness that holds me tightly in the backseat, it was not easy. It was hearing the "OH SHIT!" that made me start praying hard and just watching the floor of the plane, hoping for the best. Long story, short, we had experienced a landing gear failure causing the plane to arch left and depart the runway into the grass. It seemed like a long time that happened very quickly. The grass was tall and the soil damp from all the rain and that might have been the thing that saved us. The thoughts going through my mind was "please don't tip over, please don't nose over, please Dear God, please be in here with us!" and he was. As soon as the plane came to a stop, we were scrambling to get out knowing that we were carrying a lot of fuel in the wings and that the next challenge could be an explosion and fire. It is not easy under good circumstances to get in and out of the plane, but we were both able to get unstrapped and out relatively quickly. Joe helped me get out and we both hightailed it away from the plane. Standing on the edge of the runway was very surreal.

Everything that came next is both burned in my memory and a big blur. We were so blessed to be alive, let alone walking away with not even a bump or scratch. There is no other way to say it than God was undeniably with us. So many things could have gone differently, could have gone wrong and been life altering, if not life ending, but they went right. Joe is a very skilled pilot but at some point, he no longer had control of the airplane, we were just along for the ride. I will write about Faith and Providential intervention and putting your destiny in the hands of the Lord in another post, but just suffice it to say, "I Believe!"

It took a big crane and a lot of smart people to get the wounded bird back up on her feet, but she exited the resting place west of the runway, assisted but rolling. The long road of recovery for the Sea hawk, aka Big Mama and her passengers was just beginning. Over a month's worth of tender loving care and dismantling, piece by piece the engine came off, the landing gear was packed back up into the wheel wells, the wing tips came off and all was packed up and shipped via flatbed to Texas.

And then the morning came that she was gone, we followed the truck for 30 miles until my car was out of gas and my heart could no longer take the stress, we both cried as she rode out of sight.

And the discussions and the emotions and the feelings both of gratefulness and fear keep rolling, keep coming, are constantly with us, Every.Single.Day. We were blessed, there is no other way to say it.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

It would be a miracle if the weather forecasters ever came close to getting it all right. They said it would get cold today (and it did, down in the 20's) but what's up with all the snow? I stayed in town last night hoping for a leisurely day today including quality time and an aviation seminar on parachutes...I know, not what you expected! Instead it was a quick breakfast and running to get on the road before things got too much worse, turns out that was a wise move on my part.

The neighborhood roads were slick, I was slipping and sliding all the way to the main road which wasn't much better. Onto Colorado Blvd. it looked like things might be ok. That was before I got on I-25, can I just say YIKES! Ice under snow pack, not a great combination for me. My VW is a great looking, fast little car but it is terrible in the snow. Several times I seriously though about turning around, but I had to keep going because life as a farm girl is not easy and I had no one who could go feed my dogs and horses and since I hadn't prepared well enough, the tank heaters were not plugged in so it was pretty likely that no one could get through the ice to the water...

I decided to get off the freeway and take the road through Parker to Hwy 86. That was probably a good move since in some places you could actually see asphalt, but I still did some slipping especially at the intersections, I am just so grateful that I didn't hit anyone and that no one hit me! As I got closer to Elizabeth (big challenge getting up the hills) the snow got deeper, and I didn't see a snow plow until I reach the east side of town.... After all those hurdles were cleared, the last test would be the 5 miles of dirt road to my house and a test it was! The snow was the deepest when I turned off the highway, it had not been plowed but at least one vehicle had been down the road and left tracks. The light was horrible, very flat and with the fog, it was hard to see but I just put the peddle down and hoped for the best. I knew I had to keep it rolling if I had any shot at making it all the way. Each hill I made it over, was one I wouldn't have to walk over if I got stuck. I have never been so happy to see my driveway! I actually made it all the way home!

Now as I sit here in the silence of the falling snow in a nice warm home, with the fire crackling in the background, I am so grateful for this day, for the moisture in the form of beautiful white snow, for my safety and the safety of my farm critters. I'm grateful for the wood my dad chopped for me, for all the life lessons that dad's, brother's friends and family have taught me. I am so proud to have been able to get the tractor out and plow my driveway and to plow it straight without digging big ruts in it....priceless! I am grateful for JoeHenry and all he does for me. I am a lucky girl to have been blessed so abundantly.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

This day started a little rough, I've been fighting a nasty cold for the past week and thought I had turned the corner. I spent the night at his home, I didn't sleep much, and in the middle of the night woke up with a terrible headache. I tried everything, sitting up in bed to let my sinuses drain, tossing and turning into every position imaginable, snuggling up tight next to him to ward off the chills...finally at 7:00 am we rolled out of bed, I looked and felt like a few miles of bad road, really bad road. I took a super hot shower, and then climbed back into bed with an Imitrex making it's way through my system. I knew if I could keep from throwing up long enough for it to work its magic, I would be home free.

Some time later in the morning, I woke to find that the curtains were closed, the comforter was tucked in tight around me, there was a bottle of water on the night stand, the heat had been turned up and the humidifier was running...I saw him quietly exiting the room. He came back a little later to check on me..."do you need anything Daisy? I am worried about you, maybe you should sleep a little longer, can I get you anything? By the way you look beautiful when you are sleeping." I love this man. I know how bad I really look, but the love and gentleness in his eyes is real and genuine.

When I finally do make it out of bed and complete the process of hair and makeup along with appropriate attire, I make my way downstairs to see him smiling at me. "Are you feeling ok Daisy?" "Can I get you anything" "You are looking like you feel better and actually you look very HOT" really? I've never been treated this way before, never felt so loved and cherished. Never been in a spot that feels more right or more sacred or more safe.

Later in the day as I'm preparing to leave for my home, He holds me tight and tells me he loves me, more than that he makes me feel how much he loves me... as soon as I drive into my garage, there is a text..."I love you, Daisy!" "Thank You"

Friday, September 13, 2013

Today I’m offering a giveaway here on my blog to a seat in the upcoming class Soul Comfort over at Brave Girls Club!

Wondering what is Soul Comfort all about? I’m so glad you asked!

To the tired, the exhausted, the overstretched…here’s an invitation…

Life can be simple.

What if we celebrated the brave act of….taking a break?
What if simplicity, comfort, and quiet were the goal?
What if there really was a way to quiet the chatter in our minds and let us recharge our body & soul?
And what if it was fun, too?

Soul Comfortis a fresh new concept using art and journaling as a means torelax and comfort yourself and to get grounded while dealing with the craziness of every-day living.

This course is full ofbeautiful projects to fuel your creativity in verysimple and easyways that are meditational and relaxing , beautiful comforting things that will have your soul infused into them so that you want to keep them forever.

Melody (course creator and teacher) says, “I want to teach you some new habits of creativity mixed with simplicity that I have learned over the years. Being a recovering hoarder of supplies and techniques, this is really a new way to give yourself permission to do things simply but beautifully.

One of the most wonderful things about this course is that everything fits into one fabric tote bag . . . I wanted to create a whole course where all of the supplies fit into a tiny space so that you could take it everywhere you go…so that you could do it sitting on your bed, on your couch, with your family, do it with your children, in the car, wherever your day takes you. It’s incredible. This has changed my life. This has been something that I have used on my own and I can’t wait to share it with you.

You can count on this class to be . . .

enlightening, enjoyable, fun, & simple

customizable with many choices to fit your exact style

interactive, encouraging, and supportive with a private community on Facebook and weekly live chats

a beautiful experience that will help you relax, simplify, and enjoy your life

a place to learn simple new ways to journal, plus the ”Brave Girl” way to use stitching and such to create both beautiful things you’ll love AND peaceful relaxing moments

a place to learn exactly what nourishes YOUR body and soul, and how to fit comforting rituals into your day

something that you can finish without feeling overwhelmed

produced with the level of caring and excellence and attention to detail that Brave Girls Club is known for

We’ve worked to narrow down things to quench the yearning of your soul…to be able to be creative but also to be sensitive to the mess that it makes and the time that it takes as well as the brain space it takes for complicated tools and techniques. We will teach you fun ways to make beautiful things while relaxing yourself . . .and we’ll be participating in the class right along with you.

This will be relaxing, fun, and simple

You’ll be able to take it along with you, everywhere you go

Instead of overwhelming you with one more thing to stress out about, this eCourse will help you relax, enjoy, and feel comfort and peace no matter what else is going on in your life.

Sounds fun, right?

Want to enter? Simply answer this question in the comments below.

What do you think of when you hear the words "Soul Comfort"?

*Registration is open from now until Midnight CST Monday September 16, 2013. Good Luck!!!

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Friday, September 6, 2013

I haven't been on here for awhile, not that I don't have a whole lot to write about, I have tons. Life has taken some pretty dramatic turns over the past year. I am on a journey that has profound sadness with the end of my 20 year marriage and incredible happiness at finding my way and being exactly where I need to be. So over the next few weeks I will be catching up my story here, making posts about how I have come to the place I am now and why I feel so grateful for listening to the whispers of my heart and for all the Divine intervention along the way. I witness miracles every single day and although it has not been an easy road, I am happy and full of peace and joy. So let's get started!

Last Fall, I was definitely at a crossroad, a place that was becoming all too familiar to me. My life was going in an annual cycle or discontentment, committing to try harder, a period of artificial peace and then back to the uncomfortable place that things were not right in my world.

I took a day to hang out in Zion, one of the most sacred and spiritual places on earth. It's good to come here and take in the beauty, to feel small at the feet of the Creator and to worship at the Court of the Patriarchs. It was a beautiful day.

I had been through the Brave Girls Course of Soul Restoration II earlier in the year, I was just beginning Soul Restoration I, It was time to take a good hard look at my soul house, yep, it was in a lot of disrepair. The only thing left to do was close it down for restoration. Time to take a good look inside and see just what I had become through the years of not taking care of myself, of letting people into my house that had worn out their welcomes, of always being the one that gave everything and really got little in return. I shut my soul house down and set about doing the work to restore my soul. Best choice in a long, long time.