"You met me at a very strange time in my life." – Fight Club

We Went Out Today

We actually left the house today, a monumental event that I captured with my video camera. As usual Buck insisted we pass the house he wants us to buy and live in:

Apparently we’re just not isolated enough in our current home. He wants to get to “High Ground,” whatever that means. Thank God this thing isn’t available to live in. Construction had to be stopped. Something about the fact when you step out the door you immediately fall down a fracking cliff…Can you picture moi living there, shooing the rattlesnakes out of the way so I could have a place to put my lawn chair? And what about my inflatable pool? A cactus would pop it!

But enough of Buck’s DREAM HOUSE. Here’s my video from today. Buck wanted me to be sure and mention that his appearance in this video was preceded by an optical exam at the doctor’s office in which 9,000 wires were attached to his head with gel (yes, I took a photo of them when Buck wondered why I hadn’t done so already):

But here’s my video, and Buck has optic gel in his hair. The “Barbara” in question is my best friend and Joan Harvest’s sister. Oh, and there’s a shot of an empty chair that I was unable to edit out no matter how many times I tried. Damn you Windows Movie Maker 2!

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19 Responses

I love this so much. I was so happy to see the Miskovsky shirt make an appearance. It brings back some happy memories! Haha!

Also, Tristan wants you to know that he finds the sound of Buck’s mumbling soothing for some reason. almost like listening to a babbling brook. But he can never understand what he’s talking about… Tristan also thinks shopping with you, would be like shopping with me and followed with his rendition of shopping with me:

“I want the pinata! Can we get three lawn chairs and a cooler? Can we have Spaghettio’s for dinner every night every day? Oooh look they sell Sandals here! The candles are on sale! Lets get one!”

I plead the fifth.

Also, please inform me what you use these ingredients for, since I can’t cook and haven’t had a good home cooked meal in years. Also, we love Buffalo chicken but haven’t had it since Wallace’s. Do they have Buffalo Cheese in El Paso? We can’t find it anywhere. We saw it once and it was amazing and it was never seen again…

Also, Also, Also. I say also too much.

You never say too much! I love hearing from all of you, it’s the only human interaction I have. LOL 🙂 I’m so glad you liked my video. The Miskovsky shirt — which is probably the greatest logo ever — just happened to be what Buck was wearing. The funny thing is I was well aware of that logo even before we became friends with Mr. Miskovsky, because it’s everywhere on the Cape and so easily recognizable. He and Buck speak often by phone. (As a side note, P.Miskovsky wins awards for his landscaping again and again, in at the New England Flower Show and all over, really.)I do suggest we buy almost everything in the store…which is why I turned all money matters over to Buck a long time ago. The most disturbing thing about the pinatas, and I should have pointed it out, are the ones made to look like children. How strange is that, hanging an effigy of the birthday boy or girl from a tree and beating it with a stick?

I don’t actually cook with any hot peppers if I can help it. The problem, for me, is that here in the Southwest you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some sort of hot pepper. 🙂

i love the necklace you wore in the opening. You did so well with this. Now, you need to add music. 😉

i’m wondering how long it takes you and Buck to shop.
R & i shop together but he likes to shop quickly. i like to stroll, read labels, sniff fruits and so on.

i like canned corn and’ve been known to eat it directly from the can, but if i were to live on anything, it’d be Cocoa Pebbles. Gosh i love those horrible little flakes of fake chocolate…

Thanks, I got that necklace at El Paso Saddle Blanket, a very cool store here in town that is the size of a Wal-Mart and sells jewelry, Mexican blankets, purses and anything Southwestern you can thing of.

I REALLY want to add music, that’s my next project, figuring out how to do that. I can add it now, I just can’t figure out how to control it and keep it from drowning out our voices.

It takes Buck at least an hour to shop at the supermarket, sometimes longer. If we’re in Costco: two hours. Which is why he has to trick me into going…I hate the supermarket, it’s excruciating to me. Buck reads every label and even the fine print on the store price labels to figure out the best deal per weight, etc. And for 25 years he’s never missed the opportunity to tell me why “this size” product is really a better deal than “that size” product. I’ve been known to lay myself down in the aisle and ask people to kill me now and put an end to my suffering. 🙂

Ha! Tripe is a joke with us. It’s so cheap I’m always suggesting we learn to love it. In reality we’ve never even tasted it. I also wonder if it would cheaper to feed our dogs tripe rather than dog food, but Buck won’t even consider it. Tripe is everywhere here, as is menudo (a soup made from leftover animal parts, like goat hooves etc.)

What the hell is up with the cost of spices?! When I see the price of things like cloves I feel like climbing a tower with a gun like the one you bought your friend for her birthday …”Yeah, she shot out the windows of the gingerbread house, said she was fed up with the price of ginger.”

Ha! Ha! I love it. Barbara will be thrilled. She really wanted to go shopping with you. I’m surprised she doesn’t have her food delivered to her. I know she wants you to take her shopping to some of those roadside stands where they sell handmade stuff. I noticed the Miskovsky T-shirt also. I drive by their place every day On Brick Kiln Road by the high school lights. I loved all your western regalia. I love to see more people doing videos.

Tristan has a great idea. Buck shopping in a robe.

I DID used to have my groceries delivered, that’s how much I hate the supermarket. Stop N Shop owns Peapod.com, and they deliver to Falmouth! You can get everything they sell in the store, even stuff like lawn chairs. And you keep a list of your staples on their website, like coffee or whatever, and they’ll suggest items on sale. They’ll even carry your groceries inside and put them on the counter! I miss Peapod a lot. I think it’s $5 to have your stuff delivered, but for me it was worth it. Cheaper than the gas and effort it takes to fight the crowds and actually go to Stop N Shop. I miss it! sigh.

I don’t know why a simple shopping trip to the grocery store was so hilarious to me, but it was. I kept cracking up. Like, how many types of frikkin chili are there?? Really? That was so funny. I could see you taking home that Sponge Bob pinata and putting it near your inflatable pool for decoration. You know that the pinatas these days have ribbons coming out of them so they are “gentler and nicer” but the thought of ribbons coming out of Sponge Bob’s butt is just too much.

Buck shopping is hilarious, but Buck shopping in a robe picking out those candles is even funnier.

There are a million different kinds of chili peppers. I stood in a chili field last year to take a photo and was terrified I’d be shot at, I imagine the chili farmers are like cranberry bog owners or lobstermen and will shoot you for going near their crops. And in Texas it’s probably justifiable homicide. Unfortunately I’m not a big fan of Mexican food, I don’t even use chilis. I do use burrito bread, however. I have a baloney and cheese burrito every day for lunch, or a buffalo chicken and cheese burrito. 🙂

Pinatas are filled with freaking RIBBONS? That’s too disappointing. There should be a T-shirt for the birthday child that says “My Parents Spent $30 On My Pinata And All I Got Were These Stupid Ribbons.” But seriously, I doubt if the pinatas here in El Paso are filled with ribbons. I think they probably use traditional candy. Or chili peppers?
On the Reno 911 season finale they wanted to make a pinata of Osama Bin Laden and fill it with condoms. They were going to hang it from their parade float.

You can fill the pinatas with whatever you want – candy, toys, gum, whatever – but they have ribbons you pull and one of them is what opens the pinata. So, imagine ribbons coming out of Sponge Bob’s butt and each kid pulls a ribbon. Just wrong, I say.

I shop like Buck, but hate going, like you. I find the supermarket songs they play depressing and it didn’t occur to me until recently that that was why. That, and I was taking food home to eat ALONE. That is depressing too. But I’m past that. Whatever. Someone somewhere is missing eating with me, so there.

I’ve considered having my food delivered. But I’m picky about produce, so I go to the store for that, at least, but milk, canned goods and stuff is easy. They shouldn’t be able to screw up that, I guess. LOL.

Oh okay, now I get it, you pull the ribbon…but Sponge Bob’s butt ribbons would be offensive to me. Very-very wrong. 🙂 The supermarket songs here are probably depressing too, but I often can’t understand them. I just hate being in the place. When the kids were young and I did the shopping, I would make a list of what we needed, tear it into quarters and hand everyone a section and tell them, “If we can get out of here in 10 minutes we’ll go to a matinee.” And they’d literally RUN through the supermarket like maniacs, grabbing the stuff on their particular list and we’d meet up at the checkout. Seriously, I used to do that, I’m sure the manager hated my guts, but it always worked. My kids were so good at it, sometimes I didn’t even go inside the store with them. I just waited in the car, parked right out front where you’re not supposed to park.
When the kids got older and moved out, I started using the Peapod delivery service.

I enjoyed this so much on so many levels, I watched it twice. Food shopping in El Paso and I didn’t even have to leave the house!

First of all I was impressed by how knowledgeable Buck is about food. He actually knows what marinated chicken is and probably knows how to cook it–but wait, before I forget, why don’t I know who Mikovsky is? Why does Joan know? I never heard of Mikovsky. (Until I watched a second time and saw Buck’s shirt, I thought Mikovsky was probably some rock group.)

Oh and when you said we were in your favorite section of the store, I thought for a second it was the make-up aisle, which is my favorite section of Stop&Shop; imagine my surprise when I realized it was the candle department. I’m so jealous that you can get candles in the grocery store.

I’ve thought of having food delivered, but I know I’d end up agonizing over what to buy. I hate having to think about what to cook. It’s so depressing. The only food I actually enjoy eating is cookies–store-bought cookies.

I hate the supermarket so much, I never gave a shit what Peapod brought me. I checked off that thing that said “May we substitute items if your choice is sold out?” YES! I don’t care what I eat. I made a “master list” with them online, stuff they bring every week, and then I’d add whatever cookies or cereal was on sale. I had them on auto-delivery in case I was too lazy to go online and tell them to come; they’d just show up. It was wonderful. Hey, I just remembered…in 2003 I had them deliver a fully-cooked Thanksgiving dinner, with pies and ice cream for dessert. It was wonderful, I didn’t have to do a thing, and I didn’t even carry it into the house. Stop N Shop did it all. Oh, and I told everyone I made it myself.

Paul Miskovsky is a landscaper, I know you’ve seen his white trucks with his logo around town. He’s outstanding — he does exactly the sort of gardens we love — and he wins all kinds of awards. He’s funny, too, and he and Buck are friends.

Our candle aisle is a good one, but every store here has a religious candle aisle. Yesterday’s sale was 2 for $3. I can’t bring myself to part with the used-up candles, the art is too cool, so I have a collection of them. I’ll take a photo sometime.

I actually shopped through Peapod when I lived alone. But Sarah and Obie are very fussy about their food. They don’t trust that their meat and vegetables will be properly picked out by a Peapod person so I do the shopping. At the time I used them I only bought pizza and prepared food that you could microwave. I actually don’t mind because it’s the only social life I have. I always see a lot of people I know and chat with everyone.

I trust Peapod, and because the food is coming from their warehouse in Walpole (?) it sometimes looked much fresher than what I’d see in the stores. The social part of the supermarket is another thing I hated…I always ran into my neighbors. Our market was full of my neighbors. If I had to go there I’d time it for 10 PM in the hopes I wouldn’t see any. But I’d still run into people.

You know Joan, you’re so popular around town, if you started a monthly Weight Watchers Dinner Party/Book Club you’d probably have like 200 people who’d want to be part of it. You could take turns meeting at each other’s homes and bring potluck WW-approved dishes, and then discuss the book of the month. Shoot, I’d join if I was there. I’d be member No. 201.

That was so much fun! Thanks for doing it Wendy! 😀 😀 I lawled so much!

We have a tripe joke in our family too. Sort of. When my wife was a kid her dad cooked tripe once. She, her little brother, big sister, and her mom all ended up in tears. It was a bad meal I guess. Probably would have been OK with some star anise or chili pods. Who knows?

That aisle of candles! Sweet Jeebus!!

I’m glad you liked it, David, but you probably wouldn’t want to shop with us. You’d hate the part where I lay down in the aisles and cry for us to leave.

I’d love to hear more about this tripe dinner your wife was subjected to. Reminds me of the time my grandfather cooked rabbit and my cousins and I were crying. But when they cut into the cooked rabbit it was riddled with worms! I remember that horrific Sunday dinner for so many reasons, the major one being it was the day I learned the word “riddled.” People were shouting, “MY GOD! It’s RIDDLED with WORMS!”

In response, Wendy to your idea to Joan, I’d be member 202 if I lived there. Actually, I’d probably be member 2 because it’s such a great idea. Maybe I’ll start one here with my daughter, her friends, and a couple ladies I met at my meeting.

I just got back from the grocery store. John Denver was playing. OOOOOOH. My ears are bleeding now. I almost tried the delivery service today, but I needed vegetables and I’m very, very picky about those.

A WW potluck/book club would be such fun. I tried a similar idea years ago, I ran an ad in the free section of the newspaper about a potluck dinner/book club and I got a huge response. Then I was switched to covering night meetings and I couldn’t even be part of the club I started!
If you do try the grocery deliver service order vegetables and see what you think — our service had fresher veggies than the supermarket did because they came directly from the distribution center of Stop N Shop. Also, I you can refuse any fresh items if you don’t like the look of them, I think that’s part of the deal.

Oops! It must have been Cody’s birthday I was thinking of. I knew two of you had birthdays this month and I always remember Max’s because it’s my brothers birthday as well. (Happy Birthday Cody if you are reading this!)

My birthday is December 30th. I’m a textbook Capricorn methinks… (unless of course you are calling me a capricious bitch in which case I bark and bite like Stella under the covers all alone!)