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Monday, April 18, 2011

I will not he here for the wedding!

I realized with a sense of relief a week or so ago that I would not be here for the Royal Wedding so would not have to watch it.

I will be on a dive boat in the middle of the Indian ocean and I am sure that that will not have satellite TV there – although stranger things have happened. Most dive boats just have a collection of DVDs – usually all the Jaws movies.

Oh sure I am under no official obligation but as a loyal subject of Her Majesty I do feel as though that if I was here I should actually watch to make sure everything goes well and with the appropriate amount of pomp and ceremony. And no one does it better that the British. And not that I would mind watching it so much - but they do tend to go on and on and it would ruin my day completely.

I watched the last one and that went off a treat – it was only afterwards that it turned into a Goat Fuck - although if you can believe what you read it never really had chance because Charles never did love Diana and only married her to produce sprogs. What a Toad!

And I must say that William looks like he might be alright. He can speak without mumbling, he is reasonably coherent, appears to be intelligent and he can fly a helicopter – which shows that he has a reasonable level of dexterity. If nothing else he should be good around the house.

The problem is of course that everyone wants the lovely young couple to be their King and Queen – now! Unfortunately there are some procedural obstacles in that we have a Queen already – who is not leaving – and a King waiting in the wings.

As I see it the Queen will not retire or abdicate and may well live as long as her mother – and then it will be the turn of Charles. This does not appear to be a prospect that is relished by many – particularly as he will be accompanied by Camilla.

I can view all this with an air of detachment as – while many Australians work themselves into a complete tizzy over the monarchy – I am completely relaxed. It bothers me not whether we have a King or a Queen or a President. Life will go on.

A few years a go in Australia we had a referendum and 75% of Australians voted for a Republic but could not decided how to elect a President.

Some Australians wanted to elect a President by popular vote – meaning we would end up with either a cricketer, a footballer or the latest winner of Australian Idol.

Others wanted Parliamentarians to appoint the President – which means we would end up with someone who you would not leave alone in your house with your children.

So we still have the monarchy. People write withering Letters to the Editor explaining why each system is the only possible system and how Australian will collapse if we don’t change.