Between ESPN’s Ian Darke blind date and “I Believe” commercials and Nike’s awesome “Winner Stays” ad, the 2014 FIFA World Cup is already getting an A for advertising. But Cerveza Cristal’s ads for the Chile national team might have raised the bar even higher, at least for brands that are trying to add a little humor to their soccer worship. It’s going to be incredibly tough for Chile to emerge from one of the two “Groups of Death,” this one featuring 2010 World Cup winner Spain, as well as runner-up the Netherlands, but there’s no reason that Chile’s fans shouldn’t have faith and a great sense of humor about it.

Cerveza Cristal’s ad campaign started a few months ago, but it took us a while to translate the commercials, and the videos are taking off with the World Cup’s real, non-friendly action just days away. From The Ring to The Shining, and Japan to the United States, nobody is safe from Chile’s terrifying team.

Here’s the complete worldwide ad that takes on every country that might fall victim to Chile’s wrath:

And here is Holland’s very sexy version:

Not even the defending champs are safe from the Chilean players calling from inside their homes: