Police are appealing for witnesses after the incident in the woodland at the back of Torfield School, Hastings, on August 4 at 12.40pm.

The woman was walking her dog when she passed a man on the footpath. Moments later he was lying on the ground by a bush with his t-shirt off and committing an indecent act.

He did not say anything and the woman kept on walking.

He is described as white, in his forties, about 5ft 8 tall, of medium/tubby build with dark coloured curly messy hair and a full beard of the same colour.

He was wearing a white t-shirt which had black writing on it that was tied into the style of a crop top. He was also wearing blue jeans.

PC Lee Williams said: "The lady was understandably alarmed by the actions of this man. We would advise anyone who sees someone committing an indecent act or indecently exposing themselves to call 999 immediately.

"This footpath runs alongside a children's play park so there is a risk he could have been seen by young children. We are keen to identify the man and stop him from committing further indecent acts. If you have information email 101@sussex.pnn.police.uk or call the non emergency number 101 quoting serial 1049 of 4/08."

So this tubby beardy man was pleasuring himself on the grass just minutes after this woman walked past with her dog. We aren't given any information about the woman - but if we were told she was a 21 year old busty blonde it might at least go some ways towards explaining the man's actions - although it wouldn't make it right of course.

So this tubby beardy man was pleasuring himself on the grass just minutes after this woman walked past with her dog. We aren't given any information about the woman - but if we were told she was a 21 year old busty blonde it might at least go some ways towards explaining the man's actions - although it wouldn't make it right of course.sussexram40

A woman out walking her dog was startled to see a man masturbating in public.

The incident happened near a children's play park in the woodland at the back of Torfield School, Hastings, on August 4 at 12.40pm.

The man, in his 40s, was described being around 5'8" in height, of tubby build with dark, messy, curly hair, with a full beard of the same colour.
He was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt with black writing, tied into the style of a crop top.

Police are appealing for witnesses. Anyone with information should contact........

Interesting story! Here's how it COULD have been reported:
W*NK*R STARTLES WALKER!
A woman out walking her dog was startled to see a man masturbating in public.
The incident happened near a children's play park in the woodland at the back of Torfield School, Hastings, on August 4 at 12.40pm.
The man, in his 40s, was described being around 5'8" in height, of tubby build with dark, messy, curly hair, with a full beard of the same colour.
He was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt with black writing, tied into the style of a crop top.
Police are appealing for witnesses. Anyone with information should contact........Juliusinnit

[quote][p][bold]Wide Bertha[/bold] wrote:
[quote][p][bold]stevo!![/bold] wrote:
"Tubby", lol
So the woman passed him twice??[/p][/quote]on the second occasion, she nearly had a stroke ...[/p][/quote]But her arms weren't long enough.sussexram40

Juliusinnit wrote:
A MAN lay on the verge, tugging his todger. The man had a purple body, an aerial on his head and a tv screen in his stomach.

Not so much tinky winky. More like winky w4nky..

[quote][p][bold]Juliusinnit[/bold] wrote:
A MAN lay on the verge, tugging his todger. The man had a purple body, an aerial on his head and a tv screen in his stomach.[/p][/quote]Not so much tinky winky. More like winky w4nky..vogon1

the correct joke to the stroke is..............two old ladies were sat in deckchairs on brighton beach........a male streaker ran past.........one had a stroke.....the other could not reach.

[quote][p][bold]sussexram40[/bold] wrote:
[quote][p][bold]Wide Bertha[/bold] wrote:
[quote][p][bold]stevo!![/bold] wrote:
"Tubby", lol
So the woman passed him twice??[/p][/quote]on the second occasion, she nearly had a stroke ...[/p][/quote]But her arms weren't long enough.[/p][/quote]the correct joke to the stroke is..............two old ladies were sat in deckchairs on brighton beach........a male streaker ran past.........one had a stroke.....the other could not reach.cookie_brighton

The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.

Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.

The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.
Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.Nosfaratu

thatfatbloke wrote:
If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate,she:
A. Has intimacy issues
B. Is frigid
C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus.

No fatboy you need to stop w*nking on the bus!

[quote][p][bold]thatfatbloke[/bold] wrote:
If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate,she:
A. Has intimacy issues
B. Is frigid
C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus.[/p][/quote]No fatboy you need to stop w*nking on the bus!Nikski

Nosfaratu wrote:
The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.

Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.

No description? What do you want the Police to do- organize an IDENTITY PARADE???

[quote][p][bold]Nosfaratu[/bold] wrote:
The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.
Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.[/p][/quote]No description? What do you want the Police to do- organize an IDENTITY PARADE???Goldenwight

Nosfaratu wrote:
The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.

Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.

No description? What do you want the Police to do- organize an IDENTITY PARADE???

they could probably do that with a pack of cocktail sausages and some plastic cups

[quote][p][bold]Goldenwight[/bold] wrote:
[quote][p][bold]Nosfaratu[/bold] wrote:
The bush has complained that the Tubby Man made lewd and suggestive comments towards it while rummaging in his undergrowth. Maybe he has a plant fetish.
Sorry to say but when you get to a certain stage of rub a dub you just cant stop.
I must also mention that the woman took a good deal of time examining the mans, build, clothing, age, haircut yet, we have no description of his Tallywaker.[/p][/quote]No description? What do you want the Police to do- organize an IDENTITY PARADE???[/p][/quote]they could probably do that with a pack of cocktail sausages and some plastic cupsWide Bertha

"PC Lee Williams said: "The lady was understandably alarmed by the actions of this man. We would advise anyone who sees someone committing an indecent act or indecently exposing themselves to call 999 immediately."

She was probably afraid that he was going to hit her with it.

"PC Lee Williams said: "The lady was understandably alarmed by the actions of this man. We would advise anyone who sees someone committing an indecent act or indecently exposing themselves to call 999 immediately."
She was probably afraid that he was going to hit her with it.hoveguyactually

Maybe it's the same tubby man as mentioned in this article by the superb journalist Anna Roberts, who is renowned for her mastery of English.
http://www.theargus.
co.uk/news/9020598.T
ubby_man_suspected_o
f_being_dodgy_Chiche
ster_antiques_dealer
/Juliusinnit

Goldenwight wrote:
I'm glad to see that the 'Argus' have taken their readers into consideration and the article is now (mostly) gramatically correct!!

*grammatically

[quote][p][bold]Goldenwight[/bold] wrote:
I'm glad to see that the 'Argus' have taken their readers into consideration and the article is now (mostly) gramatically correct!![/p][/quote]*grammaticallyRoundbill

[quote][p][bold]Voice of Brighton[/bold] wrote:
[quote][p][bold]Stevo!!,[/bold] wrote:
Like I care what you lot think![/p][/quote]Nice try but the comma after your name gives it away.[/p][/quote]Yup.stevo!!