Life is a love that is unrequited. I have gone through some hard times. Life has judged me and so now I live the way it has willed. I feel trapped like I have to please everybody around me, or face consequences. There is shame and inapproprate guilt residing in my heart, like a hole eating it's way from the inside out. I need to come out of my shell and show some attitude. I deserve the attention that everyone else gets. They see me yet they don't see the tears that are always there.

Lets see my name is Casey Jones, and yes I know there is a song. So dont ask me if I know about it.And just to let you know there was not only a song about an engineer but Casey Jones was also a baseball player, A guy off the Ninja Turtles, and is also a slang word for Cocaine, and last beleive it or not Casey Jones was a real person whose real name was John Luther.Just a little piece of info for you. Back to what I was saying, Hi my name is Casey. I am now twenty but waiting anxiously for the twenty-first birthday. Even though I am not a real big drinker now a days ... For the people that know me and have been to my apartment you have seen my collection and I am still proud of my past, for the most part... back to telling about me. My birhday is November 24, 1987, my hair is red and I am 5'8'' and blah ... who really wants to hear this stuff. Not me I dont go to sites and expect to read about them like a dating site "... I like walks on the beach at dust and candle lit bubble baths ..." Stuff like that. So if there is actually anything you want to know about me just fricken ask me ... i wont yell at you, the most I can do if I dont like the question is block you. Ehe but I am not that kind of person.

Okay, lets see people I would like to meet ... I can't really think of any. Well except one and if any would find this offensive then I apologize now.

I would love to meet God. I have so many qustions to ask him ... That would not be fair to get into right now. Then again if I did run into ... you know walking down the street one day I would love to tell thanks. Thanks for making my childhood suck. If it wasnt for you then I would not be where I am right now. My own place, My own car, My great job ... and the ok second one ... and just for the way I am. So thanks in advance for getting me kicked out at sixteen and forcing me to get up and live my own life ... Thanks once again...

[Watching you from across the room
sends searing pain through my heart.
I think back to a year ago,
when I thought we'd never part.
My love for you just won't die down -
it just grows with each new day.
I wish you'd dare to look at me
and hear what I have to say;
"I love you and I want you back - "
but these words you just won't hear.
You don't seem to remember them -
all the memories I hold dear.
You were my first kiss, my first love
and now you don't even care.
How could you just blow it away?
We were the perfect pair.
you seem content to let me go -
You're doing fine as you are,
while I'm still missing how we were.
We had the best love by far.]

[~*~*~*~*~*~*~]You know ur in love when all you can think about is that one special person and u can't stand to be away for more than one second. You miss them even when they r standing right next to u. You fall asleep thinking about them, and dream about them every night.[~*~*~*~*~*~*~]

[FOR SOME REASON I COULDNT PUT THIS WITH THE OTHERS CUZ IT ROCKS TO HARD!!]

What Lies Behind Your Eyes? - Results:
[In your eyes, people see shards of ice everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing away people that love you and truely care for you! You want to be able to reach out and love them but... You can't for some reason... You're just too.... You :P Underneath that cold exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would probably be anywhere up high where you can look down on life below you, like the roof of an apartment building... Your eyes resemble a saddened, crestfallen person seeking out attention, but doesn't know how to handle it. However, you do find comfort from your friends, they're always there for you, and they know the REAL you :) Even though you do seem rather cold, you can be very protective over something you truely believe in or love. Let go of that "tough" rep and just be you! It's impossible to live life without some fun and love ^-^]

I have many interests...

They start off at fishing, camping, making campfires ... and so on and so forth. I love anything that has anything to do with the outdoors. Hiking, walks (definatly walks its one of the best ways to releive my stress), taking pictures of waterfalls and creeks and just any kind of wilderness beauty. And speaking of waterfalls they are also really fun to jump of rocks into the steady body of water right before the actual fall. And one of the last swimming in any river, creek, ocean or any other body of water. I would rather smell like dead fish then smell like chlorine ... I hate pools ... All these things I dont mind doing alone, but if friends and family want to join the are more than welcome ... there is always room for one more in the river.

Okay, those were the outside things now when it come to inside the house the list is a whole lot shorter, because I would rather be outside on a nice then sitting inside. The list starts of with taking hot bubble baths with only the light from candles and soft county music playing in the back ground, and cooking. Thats just about it for the inside of the house...

I thought of a few more for outside, I love the rain I would do anything in it. Play, run, just walk, or even just sit in it. I love being outside when its pouring, but it has to be a nice warm spring or summer rain. You wont see me walking around in the rain in the middle of January. But if for some chance the rain turns into a nice snow and no one else will walk with you in it just give me a call...

[Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate]

[Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing injury to their own body. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. Borderlines think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. Avoidants are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidants yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. Dependents often remain in abusive relationships. Over-sensitivity to disapproval is common. Dependents often feel helpless and depressed.]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I DONT SUFFER FROM

INSANITY

...I ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[just wondering.......]
if i showed up on your door step crying would you care? if i called you and asked you to pick me up b/c something happend, would you come? if i had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day? If i needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours? this is a test to see who's your real friend or just someone that talks to you when their bored. . .
[thanks for your time :)]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[THE MEANING FOR LIFE IS TO
ACHIEVE A HAPPINESS BEYOND
UNDERSTANDING!]

TAKE MY POLL PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[I may not be..
The prettiest girl alive
The richest girl alive
Or the smartest girl alive
..but I do know Im..
The luckiest girl alive
..Because I have you]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

hey...I'm casey and i have red hair...ok its more like strawberry blonde...but it doesnt matter cuz if you can tell the you are way to close.....and back off!!!

AND I WORN YOU AHEAD OF TIME..........

I'M A STRANGE KID AND I LOVE IT

.......SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE TALKING TO SCREWED UP PEOPLE THEN

DON'T TALK TO ME!!

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

heres a poem that one of my good friends [sischic58] and i wrote:
[UNTILED
This girl who she knew
thought her life was so bad
but didn’t she always say
Isn’t life just grand?
No one ever understood the pain inside
so she took a bottle of pills
and a blade of a knife
started slicing across her wrists
and down her throat
as the muic played
she never missed a note.
Oneday her friend felt sad
for the girl she once knew
and for all the guilt she had
She was the one who cut
She was the one who overdosed
just to get all the pain out from inside.
Oneday she showed her friend what she did
then her friend went and did the same
the funeral was to much, so she ran and hid
up to her room and shut the door
all she could think about was her friend
so she took a blade because she couldn’t bare it anymore
All the pain rushed out
and she was free at last ]
this was the other copy that me and her fixed up...

[and your inner dragon is a ....
Sun Dragon
In the war between good and evil, Sun Dragons take the side of the noble and good.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos.
As far as magical tendancies, Your inner dragon has the ability to conquer the world of magic, but it will not be easy.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Dragon Description:
From a distance, the Sun Dragon appears as though it is made of pure flames. In truth, it is not made of flame at all but it does maintain a constant should of flames around it's body. This allows for both very effective armor and a stunning appearance.
During its adolescent stages, a Sun Dragon's body begins to excrete an oily substance through it's skin which burns slowly over time, like napalm. When it reaches this age, the Dragon is ignited by it's elders. Sun Dragons are totally immune to fire.
After it is ignited, the Sun Dragon's flames will continue to blaze for the whole of the dragon's natural life span. Sun Dragons are extremely fierce in combat. The Sun Dragon is among the noblest breed of dragonkind.They are revered both for their ferocity in combat and their great wisdom.
This Dragons favorite elements are: Tiger's Eye and Nobility of Spirit]
TO FIND YOUR INNER DRAGON GO TO http://dragonhame.com/

Girls..

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot
who calls you back when you hang up on him who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
wait for the guy who kisses your forhead...
who wants to show you off to the world...who holds your hand in front of his friends...who thinks you are just as pretty with out make up on....
wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and lucky he is to have you...
wait for the one who turns to his friends and says...."thats her."

Guys....

Find a girl who calls you baby or baby doll instead of hottie or sexy..
. . . who can't stand it when you hang up on her. . who would sit there for long hours looking into your eyes...
wait for the one who dosen't care what you look like, but what is on the inside that counts the most...
. . . who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you forever...
. . . who wants to be with you in public...
. . . who makes you smile just by knowing that she loves you.
wait for the girl who is a reminder of constant happiness and wants to be with foever....
wait for the girl who will say.." you are the one for me, for always"