I became a mom for the first time in my early 40s, in 2005. My children were adopted, and while I usually don't announce that at the get-go, I think I need to say it now because throughout my blog I don't use the kids' full names. There's J who was born in 1997 and K who was born in 2002.

This blog is where I will share the ups and downs of being a work-at-home mom and also, more importantly, the things my kids do because really, this is about them.

Family - it's where your story begins.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

He's forgetful and today I am grateful

Last night at church, the boys went their separate ways (to their designated classes or groups). J is in the youth group (middle school & high school kids) and I'm not totally sure he pays attention to what is being said by the pastor. When he came downstairs after his service was done, he handed me a sheet of paper. All he said was, "Here," and handed it to me. I glanced at it and it was a permission slip. I said, "What's this for?" He said it was for next week's gathering and after I really looked at it, it was for the holiday party. I asked how much it cost as there is usually a fee involved when I'm handed a permission slip. He said it didn't cost anything. I looked down at where it said "Cost:" and saw that it said "Offering for a Wii." I asked who the Wii was for, like if it was for the youth group, and he said it was for old people. I said, "Old people? What old people?" He said the youth group was going to some place that had old people. I was thinking maybe a nursing home or something but not totally sure. I said, "How old are these old people?" He said, "I don't know. They're just old." I then asked how much he was going to give to the offering. He said, "Well, I have two quarters." WHAT???? TWO quarters? That's it????? I got mad and let him know it.

Have I not raised him to be sacrificial? I thought I had. Of course, he came to live with us when he was eight, and before that he had been given everything he wanted without having to work for it. Spoiled little kid to some extent, but living in squalor and filth didn't make up for it. I know that my birthday came and went and he never would have lifted a finger or done anything for me, being that he's 12 and self-centered, but my husband made him go shopping for a present for me. Apparently J, at the cash register, remembered he hadn't brought his money and/or debit card. So, after the fact, I learned that J still owed my husband the money for the present. I told hubby to just transfer the money from J's bank account to his (hubby's) and be done with it. The fact that J doesn't want to part with his money is one thing, but to only offer 50 cents out of his stash of at least $100 is pathetic. Fifty cents for the Wii offering - not my present. I know that ended up being $25. Hubby made J spend a good amount because I am mom and I have done so much for him.

When we got home from church last night, I was still on J's case and hubby said "Are you going to lay off him now?" I said, "No, because for some reason he is being very selfish and unwilling to part with his money. He won't even pay you back for my birthday present!" And at that, hubby agreed with my point of view about the offering. J had gone to put on jammies and went into the bathroom. I was walking down the hall when he came out of the bathroom, and he just walked right past me without saying a word, went into his room, closed the door and turned off the light. I said, "Goodnight to you, too."

This morning I was ready for the worst from him and was ready to discuss the issue rationally and without getting angry. Well, he was in a great mood and either forgot about the whole topic entirely or just didn't care. He gave me a hug and started talking about the weather. Fine. I am actually relieved. However, I know it'll come up again and we'll have to talk about why he only wanted to offer 50 cents towards a Wii. I actually want to e-mail the youth pastor to find out exactly what the holiday party activities will be and who these "old people" are. Maybe he can enlighten me.