I started the blog Bureaucracy for Breakfast in 2010, and it was a comedic look at unemployment, the economic divide, and the lifestyles of the 1%. It was featured on Marketplace on NPR, AOL News, Huffington Post, and Chelsea Handler’s Borderline Amazing Comedy. I have been interviewed by ABC 20/20 for a segment about the Rich Kids of Instagram, and in addition to writing about Hollywood, celebrity, and excess for Forbes I write about pop culture and entertainment for The Hairpin, Bustle, Salon, the Los Angeles Review of Books, and The Billfold. My first book, BROKENOMICS, is coming from Seal Press April 2015. You can find me on Twitter @TheElf26.

Female Expendables: Does Hollywood Know Us At All?

We all know that women have different taste, ideas, and personalities. Some of us only watch romantic comedies, others like a good political thriller, and even Van Damme has his loyal female fans. Even so, the recent announcement of two separate “female Expendables” movies really begs the question: Does Hollywood know us at all?

Gina Carano (Photo credit: xploitme)

The fact that both of these films are being dubbed “female Expendables” flicks is a little insulting, but brands sell and the over-the-top testosterone cash cows The Expendables and The Expendables 2 starring Stallone, Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and a slew of other pumped-up muscle men (plus the token hot chicks here and there to break up the steroid fest) are certified brands in Hollywood now. The first announcement came from the Adi Shankar company 1984 Private Defense Contractors. They’re developing a film that was quickly dubbed a “female Expendables” movie because evidently we can’t just call it a female-driven action movie or, better still, an action movie.

The cast they’re pulling together is promising. Supposedly, according to IMDB, they have real-life MMA fighter Gina Carano, a woman who can hold her own in a ring and do her own stunts. She starred in Steven Soderbergh’s recent film Haywire as a tough as nails “black ops super soldier” out for revenge. There’s also Battlestar Galactica’s Katee Sackoff, Terminator badass Linda Hamilton, and Foxy Brown herself, Pam Grier. Sounds like a real knuckle crunching, roundhouse kicking action movie starring women. Then, on the heels of the Shankar production, comes yet another “female Expendables” and it’s called ExpendaBelles. It’s not a Disney movie and it’s not a joke.

ExpendaBelles is the brainchild (or bad idea, depending on your taste) of Millennium Films, which brought us the first two Expendables. This one is supposedly the official spinoff. They asked the chick flick writing team of Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith (Legally Blonde, The House Bunny) to pen the script and we can only hope they change the title and come out with a fun, comedic action movie that’s more Charlie’s Angels than Cinderella. Time will tell. Like Kevin Jagernauth at IndieWire recently said, “There is no bad idea in Hollywood they won’t try at least twice.” The point is Hollywood might be trying to do us a favor by making some “female Expendables” movies, but seriously – ExpendaBelles? It’s insulting.

It all feels a little too similar to that cutesy “Bic for Her” line of pens that sparked some hilarious Internet commentary, or the recently announced FujitsuFloral Kiss laptop just for ladies that comes in colors like “Feminine Pink.” What’s “Masculine Pink” I wonder? Shows like New Girl and The Mindy Project embrace “feminine pink” and cupcakes and frilly adorableness in their female characters which might rub some people the wrong way but they’re not trying to be an action movie, and their brand of female characters has struck a chord. Good for them.

As “girlie” as Mindy Kaling is, you have to wonder why in the world she put a bright pink rug in her character’s office on her show. The character is a smart, capable doctor and Kaling is a smart, capable powerhouse. A pink rug? That little detail is about on par with calling a female-driven action movie ExpendaBelles, but you have to choose your battles I guess. Kaling can keep her pink rug. I’m just hoping that one day Hollywood can stop putting the word “female” in front of their action movies. And please, change the title ExpendaBelles if you want us to see your movie.

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