Deep impact TV

A large U.S. spy satellite has lost power and propulsion and could hit the Earth in late February or March, government officials have announced.

“Appropriate government agencies are monitoring the situation,” said Gordon Johndroe, a spokesman for the National Security Council. “The good news is that Sky Satellite customers directly beneath the falling spacecraft will receive the best pictures they’ve ever had. Well, for a little while anyway.”

“The improved service means that we are forced to increase our prices,” said a Sky spokesman. “Paid in advance obviously.”