Just another happy rag by one of them broads.

Green Stone

It’s 6 am and I have been up for awhile, but I am going back to bed shortly. I thought I would get this post started while I drink my morning coffee from my very large Starbuck’s mug that is filled to the rim with foamy Senseo. All that is missing is some finely grated chocolate on top and it would be perfect.

As I predicted, yesterday was a nearly non eventful day. I slept for a long time in the morning and felt really good when I woke up. It was like I was walking inside a bubble of serenity again. I did end up getting dressed, but Eduard walked Jesker for me and I thought that was very kind of him, because I could have done it just as easily myself. It did feel good to be nice and cozy and warm inside the apartment though, as if all the world was kept safely outside and it didn’t concern me whatsoever. Sometimes I don’t want to care about anything else at all. I just want to be solitary and turned inward and be an Einzelganger.

I survived my usual afternoon dip by taking 25 mg of Oxazepam and going to sleep for nearly three hours. When I woke up, I felt very good and well rested and not at all down and out and morose. It seems to me that sleep is my greatest ally right now and that the more I do of it, the better I feel. It seems to regenerate me and get me over the rough spots. You see how I am learning all these things the hard way. I am such a grown up and I am still learning things as if I am a babe in the woods.

Getting enough sleep this way does make my day much easier and more manageable. This way it is divided into chunks of activity and sleep and that way it also gives my day the structure that it needs and the restful periods that I also need.

Today is Monday and in a way the most dreaded day of the week, although I can’t think of a bad enough reason why that is so. It only is the day after the weekend and Eduard goes to work in the morning and has to work again in the evening very late. Maybe it is out of habit that I think Monday is such a dreaded day.

Well, I am going back to bed now. I will finish this later in the morning…

…It took me a little while to get back to bed, but once I did, I slept for three hours. Wasn’t that wonderful? Now I can sit here in my bathrobe for just a little bit longer and drink some delicious coffee and smoke my wake up cigarettes. I do feel very fortunate that I have the opportunity to sleep this way. Imagine if I had a job to go to.

I visited everybody else’s blog early this morning, when I should have been sleeping still, and enjoyed some interesting writing and awesome artwork. You can tell that some people are very much comfortable with the medium blogging and write so easily about anything and everything. It does give you an opportunity to get involved in their lives a bit and through the comments you reach out and communicate with them. The art blogs with a story are always great. You get the wonderful art and a little bit of a narrative about the art with it.

There are people out there who are just naturally funny. They should have jobs as comedy writers for sitcoms. They write with irony and a bit of sarcasm and lots of humor and always leave you smiling, if not a little baffled at times. The trick is to leave a humorous comment, but when you have a tendency to be a serious person yourself, that can be difficult sometimes.

I know that I have days when I take myself way too seriously and that I should loosen up and not be so grim, but it is hard to get into the proper frame of mind sometimes.

Seeing as though I have been a bit of a hermit these past two days, I have nothing exciting to report. I sleep, I eat, I read, I watch a little TV, I talk with Eduard and I pet the dog. Serenity reigns and that is just the way I want to keep it, because right now that is the best thing for me. I am constantly inventing the best way to survive and right now it is this way.

I must go now and get dressed and do some chores before Eduard comes home. The kitchen is still untidy and I want to make the bed so that when three o’clock comes along, it will be all ready for me to go lie down in it.

I hope you all have wonderful days that are not too hectic with many peaceful moments built in and your own bubbles of serenity. Ciao…

Diane, an Einzelganger is someone who goes at it all by themselves, sort of a loner who keeps to himself. That is what I am sometimes.

You say you are having an extremely rough day. Is it anything you are willing to share? Would you like to talk about it? You can email me through my profile. I would hate to have you feel poorly without knowing what is wrong with you and being able to find the right words to cheer you up.

Sweet Irene, I have had cable internet connection problems again…grrrr. and so that is why I have not posted here for awhile. I will make one post for all that I missed, but will read from the bottom up as you like 🙂

I like that you are a woman with gusto and I would say not afraid to try.

Lisa’s image made a good mandala didn’t it? I think the colors say “Lisa” though.

I like books by women about women. I read daily and always have a couple of books going. I think I like books about women because I can relate to them and not so much to men things, like violence and war. That is not to say I don’t read male authors, because I do, but I seek out women authors.

I’ taking the cynical exam on another screen. I think I will turn out to be very cynical, but I hope not. Here are my surprising results: “Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you’re a bit naive.Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you’ve been burned before.”

This green stone made a very beautiful mandala didn’t it? And the pattern is very nice too.

I understand what you feel about being a serious person. That is me too and I wish for the humor that I had when I was younger. It is something that comes from within and cannot be forced out, you feel it or you don’t. I try to make up for it by laughing at other’s jokes 🙂

Take care of yourself, and hope that you get your sleep schedule back on track.

Irene, I always enjoy your writing. It is so natural, I have found you to be an honest, direct, and often humorous writer. I’m glad you are well and able to sleep.

This image is delightful, and I am more delighted upon seeing the small green stone at the end of it! I like the first and third versions, because I like those little curlicue images in the corners. They look like waves of fire.