The Crescendo of a Grand Symphony (fiction)

The line-up of persons was impressive – both in terms of numbers as well as in its composition. There was a mix of the very old, with haggard faces, bent bodies, and faces deeply creased with the memory of those days; of the middle-aged, with a mix of anger, remorse, anguish; and of the relatively young couples, some accompanied by their children who were unusually quiet as if a mute button had been pressed and were the only persons who appeared to looking around as if mesmerized by the stolid acceptance yet with a throbbing feel as if in presence of a loss incurred years ago.

Anna was at the head of the line and had been coming here every 12th March year after year – with the hope still alive and an expectant silent prayer. Taking a glance behind her she was suddenly taken back to that day…

Timeline: Past

Scene One

The box car had been suffocating – all of them had been just ordered out of their houses and herded to the railway station with all their worldly possessions left behind.

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Each person was clutching with soggy hands a hastily picked up memento – a framed picture, a wooden toy, a prayer bead, etc which seemed to be their fragile anchor and link to an unreal receding present and insulating them from the obnoxious overpowering smell – mix of urine, faeces, sweat – and the fear of an unknown future.

Scene Two

The warmth of the ray of sunlight through a crackon the ceiling suddenly shook her from her reverie, and yes, the box-car was standing still; and some voices could be heard in the distance.. the noise of locks being opened, commands to step out quickly were drawing closer.. and it was their turn to emerge in the diffused light – hurting yet a welcome respite from the cage- and while stepping out to her horror she discovered that there were a few still unresponsive bodies they had to trample to shuffle out as quickly as possible… coming out they were asked to start moving immediately in single file… being herded like cattle towards an enclosure of sorts of which only the barbed wire fencing was visible…

Timeline: Present

The gates had been opened and the assorted line-up started moving in a somber manner – and as they entered with a deep prayer in their hearts somehow they felt they were in the presence of the spirits of their beloved family members who had lost their lives here. Anna shuffled across to the wall which displayed pictures from those days of internment as well as having a bulletin-board containing messages left behind by visitors. A lone man in a huge overcoat and hat which almost was an effective mask – hiding his face in its shadows – trudged forward, with the haunting images coming alive.

Timeline: Past

Scene Three

Jacob barely had time to get out of the box-car before he was pushed out and asked to keep moving. His limbs were numb, and mind a blank – from a successful general physician he had been overnight reduced to just a lost statistic – and the stethoscope he carried with him felt like a link to a lost world. As they crossed the gate of the barbed-wire fenced enclosure the line was being split – the older, weaker and the infirm ones were being segregated and led towards a small building which had ominous cloud of black smoke belching from its chimneys; while the others were being led to a small building. Jacob sent up a silent prayer for his having survived so far – having intuitively grasped the future of the other line.

Scene Four

There was a group of persons who were tattooing a series of numbers on each inmate. On seeing the stethoscope one of them asked Jacob “Are you a doctor?” and hearing his mumbled assent they inscribed a number on his wristto which was appended a small plus sign.

Scene Five

At another table Anna was asked the same question “Are you a doctor?” and her affirmative reply made them inscribe a number on her wrist to which was appended a small plus sign.

Timeline: Present

Anna scoured the bulletin board avidly – as if expecting a message, and an answer to a promise made long ago.

Jacob had slowly reached the same space – and was bunching up his eyes to read across with the hope that there would be message in reply to a message that he’d posted on his last visit.

Timeline: Past

Scene Six

Jacob was assigned to the shed where the acrid stink of the smoke was making persons cough and sputter. He was given a set of pliers and instructed to go and extract the gold and silver tooth-fillings from the mouths of the growing mound of unclothed bodies which were being removed from the gas chamber by another group – and to his horror he found that both groups consisted of persons who’d been cooped up with him in his box car. He found that there was a woman performing the same task – and he found it ironical that despite the brutality of the entire scenario he was assigned male corpses while she was dealing with female ones. There was another group that was carrying the bodies which had been examined and dealt with by them to another chamber – whose heat was being felt, oh no! The bodies were being burnt here and were the cause of the smoke..

Scene Seven

There was a fleeting moment when the two doctors collided with each other – intent in performing the distasteful task, yet too numbed to allow the bile and nausea that was filling their very beings.. and for a moment their eyes met, no words were exchanged yet it was as if an indelible bond had formed between them through that momentary look. It appeared like an eternity till the flow of bodies and persons seemed to come to a stand-still and they were directed to another sparsely furnished wooden structure wherein some more of the forced volunteers were gathered – and everyone seemed to be shying away from seeing each other in the eye, the distasteful task having finally caught up with them, and some were vomiting away in a corner.. as if trying to get rid of something which was going to be like an eternal satanic shadow accompanying them to their last breath – when and how soon was something they no longer had the energy to ponder over.. as any kind of thought only made them long for something which was so distant and obscure…

Scene Eight

The two were able to come closer to one another – and despite the shadow of imminent death – the presence of the other somehow gave a spontaneous meaning to their existence.. and they whispered their names to each other, while holding their wrists out to each other.. the numbers inscribed were different yet the small cross seemed to unite them in a strange living bond..

Timeline: Present

Anna was shuffling across – with her eyes occasionally unable to read due to their moistening – when she collided with a person who was wearing an overcoat and hat and which led to the hat falling off. As the person stooped to lift the hat she saw through the haze some inscriptions on the wrist…

Timeline: Past

Scene Nine

Anna and Jacob had no choice in performing their sad task – and had been sharing of their lives in muted whispers whenever the opportunity arose. They were clear that succumbing to the situation would be of no use to them. And they also promised each other that if they ever escaped from this prison-cum-camp they would someday meet here on the 12th March. The escape would have to be through hiding themselves in the masses of bodies being transported out (as no longer were these being burnt here) for burial in a mass grave at a place selected away from the camp – which was being turned into a genetic research centre to provide empirical evidence of the superiority of the Aryan Race. Anna’s being assigned work at this Centre made it increasingly difficult for them to meet and hence this promise to meet.

Scene Ten

Jacob took a last look towards the building where Anna was assigned, bidding her a mental farewell he went and lay under the mass of bodies which were lying unsupervised in a large trailer, awaiting for it to be attached to the truck for the final transportation of the deceased in the next trip.

The trip was over successfully – and an undetected Jacob was able to escape and he was able to go to France where he joined the Resistance working against the German occupation.

The war ended and yet the memory of those days used to get ignited whenever he saw the inscription on his arm – and he never let the hope of meeting Anna out of his mind. And he used to visit the camp every year on 12 March – increasingly leaving his psychiatric practice to the care of his younger team of doctors.

Anna had survived the camp and had devoted her life to medical research on genetics after migrating to USA – as a sort of penance for the unwanted sins forced upon her.

Timeline: Present

As Jacob was lifting the hat he saw another arm stretched out touching his arm– and the inscriptions suddenly came alive with the cross signs undulating in the sunlight.. and he looked up into the sparkling blue-grey eyes he’s never forgotten.. and Anna threw her arms around him. As they hugged tears were flowing undeterred.. and they were just calling out each others’ names. There was a lot to catch up on, but that would follow in due course.. they held each other clasped tightly.. obliterating what they’d missed out upon.. it was a fresh beginning for them. Slowly they were surrounded by other people whose claps reverberated around them like the playing out a grand symphony which had suddenly reached a crescendo.

Author’s Note: Dedicated to Dr Viktor Frankl whose book “Man’s Search for Meaning” (based on his experiences in a German Concentration Camp; and his holistic approach called Logotherapy he expounded subsequently) holds a special place in my life.