Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

WSMBBa-Pg"1'..-..- - .! W P WONE MAN'S OPINIONSBY N. D. COCHRAN.Big-Bellied Success. In all of thepaintings, pictures, statues or photographs of Indians OU ever saw didyou ever see a fat-bellied Indian?Did you ever see one with flabbycheek-jowls, double or triple chins orother physical indications of the human hog?I know there are fat-bellied Indians, but they are the civilized Indians the Indians as they are aftervain man has done his best to improve on nature. Yes, the denaturedIndians after the glorious white manhas introduced him to firewater andryphilis and all of the refinementsof civilized vice that money will buy.Art, however, has preserved for usthe Indian as God made him the superb human animal without an ounceof superfluous fat, the human animal that hustled for his own grub andfought with all the forces of natureTor life. .In the days of real life the successful human was the mighty hunter,who used to the full all the power ofbrain and body.Today many successful men areat-bellied. Some of them have tospread their legs' when they sit downand rest their ponderous beer-and-winepaunches on the chair. You cansee them riding out Michigan boulevard at the close of day, sitting backin the comfortably upholstered auto,great bundles of soft, flabby, unhealthy fat.They do not wear scalps at their. belt; but if you go to the theater, inthe evening you will see their scalpson the fat, overfed bodies of theirsquaws. The scalp jnay be a stringof pearls, a. diamond necklacetrophies of the hunt for dollars. Nothairy, blood scalps from a humanhead, but scalps just the samescalps lifted from the souls and bodiesof the men, women and children ofindustry who have been ground upinto diamonds, pearls and other "precious" stones. jmIt may be diamonds are more popular than rubies as industrial scalps,because they are white or yellow, anddon t show the red of the blood.Many successful men grind moneyout of men, women and children, andthen proceed to eat and drink likehogs. They learn to be hogs whilehogging the lion's share of the product of labor, and quite naturally become hogs when they go to thetrough to feed.Nature is a wise old owl. Her lawsare at work every minute. Whenhumans become hogs degenerationgets busy getting rid of them. Theirprogeny falls off, and the hogs themselves die off from apoplexy, acute indigestion, fatty degeneration, appendicitis, dyspepsia and a host of otherdiseases of the body.The big-bellied men drink Plutowater, Red Raven splits and otherlaxative and purgative waters. Theytake salts, pills, powders and evencascarets. They go to Turkish bathsfor artificial exercise and eliminationof poisons from the clogged system,out of jail and doctors to keep themout of jaid and doctors to keep them 'out of the grave.Summing up, modern success ismade up of money, clothes, indiges-tion, constipation, dyspepsia, gout,apoplexy, hob-nailed liver, diabetes,brigut's disease, hardening of the arteries pills, powders, laxatives, purgatives, stimulants, cocktails, brandies, cordials, high-balls, headaches,lawyers, doctors, crime, vice and disease. And the climax of big-bellied success is death. For which let us beduly thankful.o o -PHILOSOPHICAL"If you want to live," said theoctor, "you must absolutely go to' awarmer climate.""Live or die, then, it's all the same,eh, doc?" said the patient N. Y.World.