My nan- my last remaining grandparent- passed away a couple of weeks ago. Today, my mother gave me a few things of hers that had been kept for me, and among them was this set of knitting needles. They’re 4mm needles, marked as UK size 8. My mum has distinct memories of learning to knit as a child using these needles.

Thank you, nan. I shall make a point of knitting something extra nice with these.

One Row Lace Scarf

The pattern makes a beautiful reversible lace scarf that can be knitted in different yarns. An opportunity to use that fingering weight wool, soft alpaca, perhaps some of your sock yarn or sport weight yarn.

What’s your favorite key, and why? The one to my heart, of course, because I’m under the delusion that it’s within my control.

What are three adjectives that describe your tumblr crush, and don’t you dare tell me you don’t have one? Trustworthy, provocative, resourceful.

You get one question for the Oracle. Not the one at Delphi, but the one from The Matrix. What do you ask, and what bullshit riddle answer does she give you, and just how pissed are you about that? I ask: if my thoughts create my reality, how do I learn to have only loving thoughts about myself? She answers: when was the last time you really enjoyed a doughnut? It’s Sunday morning, and no doughnut has appeared in my hungry hand in spite of the amount of thought I have given to my wish for a doughnut, so, I’m going to give it a level 7 out of 10 pissed.

Jesus Fracking Christ In A Unitard, would people just shut up about _____ already? <celebrity fuck up of the day here>

What shall we do with a drunken sailor? Don’t even worry about it, I took care of that oh, 30 years ago in Ceiba, Puerto Rico. Hey, Navy Seal whose name I forget… call me.

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you? Because you don’t have enough canvas or paint. I’m more like a bobillion words.

If offered immortality in your present form, do you accept? Why/why not? Yes. Even with this strange new world of pain I’m learning to navigate, I have a growing list of things I want to learn and experience, places I want to see, people to meet, work to create, and books to write. I’m re-learning self-care in this new context, and I’m drawing on long ignored tools that I feel hopeful will help me bring my body and mind into a healthier balance. I’m going on the assumption that immortality does not exclude the ability to grow as a human being from this present form. If it does exclude my personal growth, then nah.

You’re a sculptor—additive or subtractive, I don’t care. What’s your medium of choice? My body. Sculpting space and time with flowing movement, shaping the air around me by directing the energy. That is so a thing.

Which lanthanide metal speaks loudest to you?Praseodymium. Praise the rare earth metals, is what I’m saying. Thanks for a question that forced me to learn something new (that I will likely never retain, but the idea of rare earth metals will rattle around in my head for some time until it becomes a poem, I think).

Tell us about your most severe professional fuckup. This is not a question, it’s an imperative. I started at Time magazine as a freelance graphic designer, and within a few months was offered a full-time position. It was my first full time job, but I had freelanced at more than a dozen national magazines by then. At the time I accepted the position, Chris was living in Ohio, and we were doing the long-distance thing every few months, and talking on the phone for a bit most nights. My hours were 35-40 over 4 days every week, so I was there late nights often, many times completely alone. I used the office phone to call Chris, never really even thinking about the long distance charges. Just giving myself some audio company while I made sure the pages were tight to the grid and all set up properly in QPS. A few weeks after I went full-time, I got called into the Senior AD’s office, and she told me that I was being put on probation for abusing telephone privileges (of which I had no knowledge, but I suppose that’s on me). Turns out they tracked all outgoing calls on every phone in the office. Of course, I apologized profusely and accepted the terms of probation without argument, and made sure to step up my game in every way possible. I think I exited on very good terms after 5 years of employment. Really, this is my biggest professional fuckup? Huh. I guess I’ve done pretty well.

What was the best 30 seconds of today, and what happened during? It’s early yet, but my brother’s friend (also my friend) came to pick him up this morning to go load the wood kiln out on the farm and he asked me about the pain I’m dealing with and the potential diagnosis. He said to me that it seems pretty obvious to him that anything that’s going on is likely residual from the stress of the last year, and that he really hopes that I prioritize self care. He told me that I’m a wonderful mother and friend and that he believes things are going to open up for me work-wise very soon, but that right now he really wants to see me putting myself and my wellness first so that I can enjoy being successful. Damn, what a lovely thing to say to me. I am blessed.