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Topic : General Advice

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9 yo son messes himself

I am a single mother and have 4 children. My 9 year old son messes himself daily. I am not sure if he is being lazy, doesnt want to miss out on the action that is going on where he is at or what the heck his deal is but I am tired of dealing with this. What i mean by messes is that he just goes #2 in his pants, its daily that he has some type of mess in his pants but today topped it all for me and I am at wits end with this child. We were at my boyfriends house and i smelled something. I asked my son to go outside and he says i have to use the bathroom first, this is his way of trying to go clean himself up before i find it, well i drug him outside and sure enough, there is crap in there. so we ended up calling it a night and i drove him yelled for about 10 mins about how tired i am of this. He is an amazing kid just wont stop doing this. I have threatened to take him to the dr and get medication, that didnt work, i am taking his bike away for a week. I dont understand and why do i have to deal with this daily.

does anyone have any advice or knoiw where i can go to get some. I am 2 steps away from dropping him off at his fathers house and saying here have a kid but his father hasnt been in his life ever so that wouldnt be a good thing to do. I am just really tired of this.

16yr old wants to return home where there is Domestic Violence....

My fiance's 16yr old son came to live with us recently. His mother has been in an abusive relationship with the same man for about 13 years. The last 5 years my fiance has been able to kinda get to know his son, Mom has custody and really doesn't abide by the court order visitation. About a year ago his son mentioned that he wanted to come live with Dad but never had the nerve to tell mom. The summer came around and Dad picked up his son for what was supposed to be his 3 week visitation time and mom made a huge stink about it. Mom did not want her son to be with his dad, she wanted to send her son to nyc to spend the summer with her boyfriends family, but he wanted to go with his dad so he left with his dad anyway. While he was with his dad, 16 yr old breaks down and tells his dad all about the abuse going on in mom's house, and that he doesn't want to go home. Dad tells his son if this is what he really wants he will get a lawyer and put everything we have to help him stay. So we do......then mom talks with her son and convinces him to go back home. So after we give a Lawyer $$$ his son decides to go back home. We send him home... about two weeks later while he is visiting the boyfriends family in nyc, he gets some disturbing, threatening phone calls from moms boyfriend. The 16yr old calls his dad and uncle crying that he was scared to go home and did not want to go back. He is then advised by his dad that if we proceed AGAIN with a lawyer that he could not change his mind because he does have two other siblings that we have to care for and are going to be financially affected, once again if we proceed with the lawyer, and that its not fair to them, and there are no refunds. He was asked to really think it over if he really wants to come back we will buy him the plane ticket. The mom's boyfriends sister tells my fiance's son that he should really go live with dad, he should not be in that enviornment. She also calls my finace and advises him about what is going on and that she feels his son should go stay with him. His son calls him back and says he does not want to go home to mom and wants to come back to dad. So again we proceed with the lawyer.... he has been with us for the about 3 wks and he has been getting phone calls from mom convincing him things are better now & moms boyfriend called and apologized for what he said, so now he is saying he is home sick and wants to go home.. Should his dad make him stay or let him go. Dad is really hurt, and he is worried about sending his son back to that house. Although his mom has four other kids with this man, he is worried about how things may turn out for his son .......PLEASE HELP WITH SOME ADVICE.

To young..

i'm wondering when everyone thinks is a good age to start dating. my daughter is nine and she's already got her eyes on a few of the boys around the neighbourhood. is nine too young to start dating, or am i just being a spoilsport?

Yes 100% 9 yrs old is to young to start dating. A reasonable dating age should (in my opinion) & some people may or may not agree but i'd make it "18". Were you seriously thinking about 9? That's to young to even talk to a boy over the phone, if you ask me..

Kids in sports

My 9yr old started football this year. He has practice every M,Tu, and Thur with games on Saturdays. My husband also coaches his select baseball team and has him practicing Wed, Thur and sometime on weekends. They play in tournaments on the days they don't have football games. My son also started school today. I think it will be overwheliming for him to focus on school with both football and baseball going on. I don't even like the fact that he does not have a day off. I brought it up to my husband and told him we will have to let go of baseball until football stops. He disagrees with me and tells me that our son will be fine. He argues that he doesn't want him to stay at home doing nothing, eventhough we both know he will be doing football for 4days out of the week. He dismisses the situation and just tells me "I don't want to go there". I'm frustrated that he cannot see how he can burn our our son and mess with his school focus. Am I exagerating or do I have a valid point in asking him to lay off baseball for a while?