I really loved that day. I don't know why. I needed to go to school because the lessons werevery important but I felt SO sick -.- I had a bad headache, high temperature and well I was very sick, that's why I stayed at home today again. But my boyfriend visited me yesterday and we had a great time. I felt so happy and I don't know why but I almost forgot that I'm sick. I start to miss him more and more, I think I'm falling in love. He makes me happy and I know that I make him happy, too, which is just wonderful. I love that feeling. I hope that this will last for quite some time. (I don't want to say forever, I just don't think that this will happen anymore, thank you Ex-boyfriend.) But I still don't know what I could gift him for christmas... Oh how I hate presents...

Nevermind, I'm happy now, and I need to say this! I have a nice relationship, awesome friends and a wonderful family. please, someone make this last...

I was at home today because I feel soooo sick -.- I really really hope it gets better until tomorrow because I have to go to school again! There's no way I could stay at home again so I just pray it will get better. I have to learn now, too. Oh how I hate school.

My boyfriend asked if I want to see him tomorrow and I (of course) said yes. Now we're thinking about things we could do because we don't want to sit at home all the time and watching tv or do things we always do like going for a walk with the dog or something like that. I still don't know what I should get him for christmas. I'll buy a DVD which I know he wants, but that's just not enough, the DVD is only like 6-7 euros and I think thats very impersonal.. I want to gift him a present that comes from the heart but well I don't know ._.

I have an other huge problem. My ex-boyfriend still doesn't know about my new relationship which is pretty good, because he would do some very bad things if he'd know that, but the bad thing about that is, that he still wants me back. 2 days ago he just asked if there's still a chance that I'd come back, but I said no. I said this soooo many times before, but he just never realized it. I feel very bad for pushing him away again and again and it's also very unfair to hide that I have a new boyfriend. I think it's right to keep that from him because he would just do some bad things but I would be sad if I knew that my boyfriend would do that.

Nevermind I'll just eat some soup and then go to bed to learn for school. Oh and clean my room D: Ahhh I forgot that my boyfriend comes tomorrow... My room is SO messy -.-

From now on I will start to post in english because I hope that my english will get better this way.

I'm listening to Casper now and I'm pretty sad. Today I saw my boyfriend at the train station. I was pretty shocked because I didn't knew he was there and I think I looked as if I didn't want to see him... But that's not true, I just needed to catch my train and he sat in an other train so that we had no chance to talk to each other. I don't like - no I HATE the way he writes messages. I always think he's annoyed or angry or just hates me ._. I already told him that he should write with more smileys or just stop writing to me but he just goes on.

The last week was pretty okay. I spend the whole weekend with him and it was good. Not wonderful or awesome, just good. We had fun, but there were also some things that bother me and well I have to think about those things again. Today was aweful, just like yesterday and the last part of sunday. I prepared some things for school which took me the whole evenings and today I missed my bus and afterwards (because of that) my train so that I had to wait half an hour to catch the next train. So I was home at 5 pm -.- The next days will be like the last few days and I hate it. I HATE IT. But at least I will meet my best friends tomorrow if I'm lucky. I need that, because I have no chance to see any of them on the weekend because I will have to learn maths. Oh and I'm sick, I have a cold (I hope that's right).. I'll take some medicine now...