May 10, 2010

Going Through Life Rolling My Eyes

"The new consumer psychology on the rise around the world is one of networks and prioritization, of explicitly pricing in consequences and externalities, and of giving more than lip service to being resourceful and vigilant about downside risks. This is the global zeitgeist now aborning."

Run for your lives! There's a global zeitgeist aborning!
This lovely gobbledy-gook comes to us from a "critical piece of research" conducted by The Future's Company and the 4A's called "A Darwinian Gale."

I can't imagine this nonsense is "critical" to anyone other than someone who really needs a nap.

It uses about 20 pages of charts and graphs and marketing hoo-hah to tell us what everybody with a semi-functioning cerebral cortex already knows -- people are becoming more thoughtful with their money.

I tried to read it this weekend. Here's what I learned:

"We're entering an "era of consequences."

Apparently in the past our actions didn't have consequences.

"Spending is based on prioritization and trade-offs"

Also, in the past we just spent our money willy-nilly.

"Consumers are rethinking the definition of value to better fit in a world in which economic risk can no longer be indulged or ignored and embracing a more responsible approach to shopping and buying."

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Ad Contrarian Says:

"Shakespeare was a storyteller. You're a copywriter.""Good ads appeal to us as consumers. Great ads appeal to us as humans."

"Social Media: Tens of millions of disagreeable people looking to make trouble."

"As an ad medium, the web is a much better yellow pages and a much worse television."

"Sometimes success in the advertising business requires sitting quietly and letting clients proceed with their hysterical delusions."

"Marketers prefer precise answers that are wrong to imprecise answers that are right."

"Brand studies last for months, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and generally have less impact on business than cleaning the drapes."

"The idea that the same consumer who was frantically clicking her TV remote to escape from advertising was going to merrily click her mouse to interact with it is going to go down as one of the great advertising delusions of all time."

"Nobody really knows what "creativity" is. Every year thousands of people take a pilgrimage to find out. This involves flying to Cannes, snorting cocaine, and having sex with smokers."

"Marketers habitually overestimate the attraction of new things and underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior."

"We don’t get them to try our product by convincing them to love our brand. We get them to love our brand by convincing them to try our product."

"In American business, there is nothing stupider than the previous generation of management."

"If the message is right, who cares what screen people see it on? If the message is wrong, what difference does it make?"

"The only form of product information on the planet less trustworthy than advertising is the shrill ravings of web maniacs."

"There's no bigger sucker than a gullible marketer convinced he's missing a trend."

"All ad campaigns are branding campaigns. Whether you intend it to be a branding campaign is irrelevant. It will create an impression of your brand regardless of your intent."

"Nobody ever got famous predicting that things would stay pretty much the same."