Ok, before I begin, lets clear the air: If you don’t think $645 constitutes as a ‘small fortune,’ then congrats bro, you’re better than me. Go jump in your fancy car and drive to your fancy, spacious apartment to bang your fancy girlfriend you fancy fuckin’ fuck. But before you chalk the headline up to ‘clickbait,’ if someone handed me $645 right now, I’d quit my job and tell me mom Imma buy her a house. That’s the impact it would have on my life. Sadly. So fucking sadly.

And to have that life-alterting boat load of money ripped from my hands by a thief who I consider a ‘friend,’ would be devastating.

But that’s exactly what happened to Chantelle from Perth, Australia.

Chantelle won 900 Australian dollars (645 ‘Merican) on a Melbourne Cup, and even the Aussies know that if you don’t humblebrag on social media about your accomplishments, they never really happened. Especially when her horse, Prince Of Penzance, had 101-1 odds.

So she uploaded a picture to Facebook with the winning ticket and an ecstatic look on her face, like most of us would who seek reinforcement by internet points. Seems innocent enough. Would could you wrong you ask??

ONE OF HER FUCKTARD FRIENDS SNIPED THE BARCODE OFF HER WINNING TICKET IN THE PICTURE AND CASHED IN.

Facebook

Chantelle took to Facebook to express her dismay.

“To the low life who is obviously my friend on Facebook and used my photo to claim our winnings. You’re a massive dick. You ruined my day.”

My first thoughts: This person can sit on a spiked Lexington Steele-sized dildo and twist.

My second, and lasting thoughts:

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According to LADbible, police have tracked down where the prize money was claimed and were confident they could find the entrepreneur.