Marrying A Divorced Man With Kids

"I'm staying in this miserable marriage to protect my kids."

By Susie and Otto Collins

Jackie has decided to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of her 3 children. She had to go through her parents’ divorce as a child. The last thing she wants for her kids is for them to feel torn between parents and maybe even pitted against one or the other.

Because Jackie had such a painful experience as a child with her parents’ divorce, she would rather stay in her own miserable marriage and spare her kids the agony.

You may have made a similar decision. Even if you didn’t grow up having to deal with divorced parents, perhaps you have seen what divorce seems to do to kids and you have chosen to protect them and preserve their happiness.

But will staying with your spouse really guarantee your children’s well-being and contentment?

About the author: Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors of many books for couples and singles. These include: No More Jealousy, Stop Talking on Eggshells, Magic Relationship Words and Should You Stay or Should You Go?

For more help deciding whether to stay or go, click here for Susie and Otto Collins’ FREE mini-course.

Frequently Asked Questions

QUESTION:
Is it advisable for a divorced man with 2 kids marrying a divorced woman with 3 kids?,?
I’m 36 years old divorcee with2 kids , currently seeing a 31 yrs old divorcee with 3 kids , i’m really in love with her but i keep thinking of what will people say. but she’s everything i ever want in a woman,

ANSWER:
Nope. Too much baggage. 85 to 90 precent of second marriages end in divorce.

QUESTION:
WHAT R YOUR THOUGHT ON MARRYING A DIVORCED MAN WITH KIDS?
The kids r 6 and 4. They both love me and I love them too, although I could love them more. My partner and I have been together for a month. We have them every 2nd weekend and I am thinking about having them for a month to see how our relationship will change incase we ever have them full time. He dosn’t really discipline them much, but he still does at the same time. I don’t like I how I already feel that, well, you know, that they won’t 100% listen to me. Can I get past that easily or do you have any advice? So many people are against it, though my dad seems to be cool with it. Am i cook with it?..well that is what I am trying to figure out..
Thanks:)
A YEAR and a half! We ve been together for more than a year now..sorry
A YEAR YEAR A YEAR A YWAR A YEAR IS HOW LONT WEVE BEEN TOGETHER>>>>>>>>>>>> SRorry? but IT Makes big diiference in the feedback and I really need feedback right now! THANK YOU
What if I have a kid too and the other dont listen..will my own follow their steps and not listen alos..if i dont dicipline them, will my own not like me? If I tell them its cuz I love them very much, can I even say that cuz than the other will think I dont love them???

ANSWER:
There are a lot of things to consider here.

I am not sure how old you are, or if you want children of your own.

If you do, you need to understand that his “first” family in many states comes first legally. That means he is required to support them before yours, so if times become difficult financially, the courts will make him pay for his first family before any “subsequent” children.

You are in the first flush of love. I am glad that you are able to get along with his kids…but that might not always be the case. My sister fell for a man who was a widower with an adult daughter. She thought he did not have her in his life on a regular basis. Then it turned out that his daughter had HUGE issues, and was constantly needing to be rescued. Now she is in her 30’s—and still calls “Daddy” several times daily.

I guess the point is that men will always have a strong connection with their children…and there will be times when you have to accept not being “number one” with him. If you can wrap your mind around that, great. But don’t go into this thinking that you need to have your OWN babies with him…just to even things out.

Good luck…

QUESTION:
What can you say about single women marrying a divorced man with a kid?

ANSWER:
is that yourself? Think it twice if you are asking means you have doubt. It also depends on the kid, see how you 2 get along

QUESTION:
Would u date/marry a twice divorced man who has 3 kids? y, y not?
Would u date a twice divorced man who has 3 kids? y, y not?
im 30, never been married, no kids.
he’s 40, twice married, 3 kids.
both of his ex’s have their own money.

i think im in love with him,

ANSWER:
I personally wouldn’t. Too much baggage there. And having to deal with some other person’s kids would annoy me.

QUESTION:
Would a divorced man with 4 kids want to marry and have another kid with his 30 yr. old wife?

if he’s 50 i mean.
i mean if the 4 kids were by his first wife.

ANSWER:
Yes, he might want to have another child with his new wife so they would have one of their own, and perhaps because he feels like that would draw them closer. I can’t speak for the whole world but when my wife and I had our kids it always drew us closer. After we’d had five kids, we decided we were close enough. lol