Tag: Life

You know I love watching America’s Got Talent. It’s a show that showcases amazing acts, ranging in ages as young as 5 and as old as 80. It’s truly a show for “EVERYONE” and “EVERY” talent. These incredible acts perform their talents in front of an audience of thousands and a television of millions, they do acts that either no one else in the world have done or can do, some of them at least.

While some get moved on, others get buzzed or voted out – but the amazing thing about it is that no matter what talent these individuals have which ranges from the grossest to the most awe-inspiring; they perform in front of an audience that loves and appreciates what they do and if not in that audience, someone in the world embraces it and just like those contestants on AGT, You also possess a gift – Don’t let anyone tell you that no one would be interested in it or that no one would love to see something like that because guess what! There’s an audience for it somewhere.

In 2015 when the Lord blessed me to start JustsumInspiration; I had some takers and some misses; some people liked it and some people didn’t and over the course of over almost 3 years of writing/blogging and inspiring; I’ve had some people to “unlike the blog and Facebook page altogether.” It makes you sad, somewhat downhearted because you begin to think, was it something I said, was it something or was it something I posted? And then the nerves set in, I literally flipped out and began to look at my stats and my friend list to see whom bailed out – in which literally drove me crazy and kept me up a many nights.

When I stopped trying to create my own success, I had to come to grips and tell myself “This audience (Mine) isn’t for everyone” and everyone will not respond to the material given, not because they hate it but because it’s simply not for them.

So, I say to you – no matter what gift and/or talent you have; don’t get discouraged when people don’t respond the way you think they should, it could be that, they entered the wrong auditorium; but don’t allow that to make you give up on your craft or drive you bonkers because they left your audience. Give God those keys and let him begin to draw people to you. I’ve learned that when I take my focus off of things, God has a way of blossoming my gift in ways that I could have never imagined or done on my own. I had to leave it to God and let Serendipity happen.

My tip to you is: Keep being amazing, keep doing you and keep pressing forward….Because there really is an audience for your talent somewhere and they are waiting in anticipation to see your act! – DON’T GIVE UP! because YOUR GIFT/TALENT, REALLY IS NEEDED!

Smelled Any Flowers Lately?

I was talking with a friend today and they began to nag about how they wish they were at home. They’ve been out of town for about 4 weeks and began to complain about where they were, the violence and everything negative under the sun. So, I asked “Why would they rather be at home? After-all, No one else is there and they always complain about they’re always complaining about their nagging neighbor or how bored they consistently are. At least out of town, they’re surrounded by people whom love them and cared enough of them to take them on a trip.

Sometimes , we have to take time to smell the flowers and that includes being around loving people. Okay, so what does, “Take Time to Smell the Flowers” truly mean? It means to take some time out of your busy, hectic, crazy, complicated life and breathe in the fresh air, take time to notice the small things around you; such as a kiss from your child when they whisper, “I love you.” or the butterfly that just so happened to fly on your window sill, before you got in the car. Take time to look at the trees and look at nature in all it’s splendor. Have you ever just taken the time to look up at the sky?, It’s filled with so many shapes and it’s so blue and beautiful and when the sun sets, it’s like looking at a piece of artwork that God designed and framed himself. These are just the “flowers” that I observed in my own world.

As a people, sometimes we really never know what we truly want – We want jobs to make money, but yet making that money causes us to miss out on the most important things in life, we never smell the flowers until we’re laid flat on our back from working too much. But it shouldn’t have to take an accident or sickness for us to realize how beautiful those flowers really are.

So, I’m telling you – Stop and Smell the flowers baby, enjoy them; because when those lonely times come and they will, you’ll be able to look back and reminisce on the beautiful smells of the flowers that you stopped along the way to look, listen and smell.

TIPS FOR HOW YOU CAN STOP & SMELL THE FLOWERS AROUND YOU:

Take Time To Read

Stop by Lowe’s or a Greenhouse (even Wal-Mart) and visit the Plant area, just to smell the flowers.

Take Time to Have Coffee or Lunch with a Friend.

Learn a new Craft.

Write a Letter to Yourself or someone Else.

Take Time to Bake a Cake or Something Sweet and invite someone over to try it.

Take Time to Spend with Family and Have a Movie Night.

Spend time with a Child, Yours included.

Take Time and Spend with that Special Someone, Let them know how much you either care, appreciate or Love Them.

What have you put off recently or maybe last year that you promised yourself that you would re-visit. Was it a great Idea, A book, The Promise to finish school and further your career, Did you tell yourself that you were going to do that demo, but life picked you up and carried you away? How about that savings account, last year you said that you would have such and such amount saved by this time this year, but your account is still showing the same amount it did last year and that amount is only to keep it active and open.

Has your GREAT ideas been collecting dust?

Yesterday, I was going through my flash drive and came across something that I started but did not finish, I started a book in 2013 and never revisited it until just yesterday, and THIS IS THE YEAR 2017!! Something that I told myself that I would work on consistently for a year fell flat about a month in and I had not picked it back up until 4yrs later.

What have you put off on the back burner and either forgot all about it or told yourself that you were going to achieve it or complete it and got half way in only to GIVE UP! on the goal you so eagerly wanted to complete. “Why continue putting off tomorrow what you can do NOW!!” Listen, life is short; too short for us not to complete the task that was put before us. I challenge you today to dust off that computer and get to writing that book, Dust off that treadmill and run again, Buy the tickets for that long awaited trip, Pick up the phone and call that person that you keep putting off calling, Lose that unwanted weight, follow your dreams on becoming whatever you want to be. Push yourself to the limit and make it happen..

No more should ‘a, could ‘a, would ‘a’s, I wonders, I wish I had of or where would I be right now, If I had only STARTED!. No worries because we all have places that we need to revisit, especially if they will push us forward to success.

Revisit that place of stagnation, the place of “leftovers” and commit yourself to not only achieving but eating up and digesting the golden nuggets you left behind, It’s something good there, it’s just waiting on you to finish it up. I promise you’ll be glad you did. So while I dust off this book and continue to write until I finish it. What do you plan to do?

SIMPLE TIPS FOR GETTING BACK ON TRACK WITH YOUR PROJECTS

Set a Timer for yourself. We have these smart phones that can do almost everything under the sun for us, why not schedule a time (with a buzz) sort of like an alarm for yourself to work on your goal or project daily or monthly.

Sticky Notes. Okay, so they’re not small and yellow for nothing and their name fits them correctly “sticky” – meaning you can write down your goal or project and stick them all over the house, especially in the places where you visit the most or frequently. (ex. The Bathroom)

Accountability. Hey, if you have friends; put them to work! You’ve heard the saying “Teamwork makes the Dream-work” and if they’re really good friends they’ll help you remember your goals and push you toward completing your project.

Reminisce. Think about where you would be, the goals you would crush, the lives that would be changed only if you START & COMPLETE! Do you really want to go another month, year or years still stuck with the same mindset of “I wonder?”

We’re the Only Ones that Keep “US” back, You can follow the first 3 tips all you want but if you don’t pursue and take charge of what you want out of life, then it’s not those things fault; but yours.

Like this:

*Warning, this blog is longer than my usual one’s but hopefully you read it and are able to get something from it.*

Ever since I was 8yrs old, I dreamed like most little girls do of being happily married, having a beautiful home and a couple of kids. As I got older I began to watch romance movies and read romance novels. I always dreamed of having a prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet and we ride into the sunset to our little house on the hill with the white picket fence around it. I never envisioned us getting into an argument or having a disagreement about anything – I just knew and believed in my heart of hearts that we would be happily married for the rest of our lives. He happy with me and I happy with him, sounds so lovely right?

It wasn’t until I got a little older and started dating that I realized I had no idea what the so called “perfect” guy was. I mean, I didn’t have a constant male role model in my life that I could look up too to show me what a real man was and how that man was supposed to take care of a house, wife and kids. My mom was married but he was abusive and the guys she dated after that were no model citizens as they inflicted more hurt than love. So it wasn’t a surprise for me to get married to someone that had been married two times before and had two kids already (might I say one was already practically grown). When he asked me to marry him, one part of me said Yes while the other part said H**L NO!

But because we had dated for almost 2yrs, I felt that it was the right thing to do. Did I love him?, sometimes I did but most times I didn’t. I knew that he wasn’t the one for me, all the new things that I wanted to experience for the first time in a marriage…such as having children, purchasing a home, new car and just experiencing the first years of marital bliss together was outweighed by his world of “I’ve already done that.” I married him because I thought I loved him and although I knew things weren’t on point in dating, I felt that since this was my first time being married that he would change. But that didn’t happen…..that didn’t happen at all. I will give anyone one main point that they should always remember before the walk down the aisle:

“Whoever a person is in Dating, Is exactly who they will remain in Marriage.”

If you decide to close this blog down and not read anything else beyond what was said above, I would totally understand. The thing about my marriage is that I expected him to change when the ring was placed on my finger. What I was naive to was the fact that he was and had already showed me who he was and what type of husband he was going to be but I ignored the signs and flashing lights and walked onto the tracks and got hit hard by the train. Although I knew there were going to be no changes in him; I still strived to be the best wife I could be at 23. I read many books on marriage and even read a couple of erotica ones, I tried to lose weight and exercise whatever it took to keep him at home at night and away from the gambling halls. But those efforts were ignored and after he decided not to change even after going to counseling. The dreaded “D” word came into play.

No one gets married to get divorced; that is not in the plan when you take vows. As you stand there smiling and looking into your future husband or wife’s eyes, anticipating on being the best partner ever. You wonder if their thoughts are in sync with yours. When I realized that after much trying that me and my husband were headed for divorce, I was devastated. I honestly felt as if I had failed in my marriage and let my daughter (whom was 3 months old at the time) down. She needs a father in her life, what would I tell her when she gets older and asks for her dad or ask questions why we weren’t together anymore. I honestly thought that I had did something wrong, “Was I not good enough?” “Was I not pretty enough?” “Was I Not Small Enough?”

What had I done? Why did I get into this? The marriage definitely wasn’t anything like the movies or the novels that I read. I quickly realized that actors and actresses are paid to act a certain way and the novelist is a person that depicts an imaginary, magical world of expectation that doesn’t quite fit the puzzle of the real world.

I had many questions while going through and after my divorce. I felt lonely, betrayed and my self-esteem that I had worked so hard to build up to his expectations came crashing down like a snowstorm on a mountain. Overtime I realized that I wasn’t the only one that would face the “D” word and definitely wouldn’t be the last. I finally came up with this thought in which snapped me back into reality and it is:

“When you Know that You’ve done EVERYTHING in your power to make things work and I mean EVERYTHING, then feel free to move on.

That includes counseling, trying new things and coming up with ways to improve the marriage). You shouldn’t give up on one try just because something went south or wrong) When you’ve honestly tried 100 things and all 100 failed or for some marriages it may be 20 or 50 things. What I’m saying is, make sure that you’ve given it everything you’ve got before you completely throw in the towel. And when I felt like I had given it my all? I left and the feelings that I felt afterward are my tips to anyone going through it, these are a couple of things that helped me to move forward and not backward.

Prayer Is the Key ~

I have to say, I felt crazy going to God when I went through my divorce because I didn’t consult him prior to getting married. So I have to be honest, I didn’t talk to God because I was embarrassed too. I mean after all he had given me plenty of signs prior to the marriage that, that guy wasn’t the one for me. But I took the bait and got caught up in the net. After stalling in prayer, I came to realize that God is a forgiving God and that no matter what we have done wrong, if you have the heart to reach out to him to ask for forgiveness. He will forgive you, not only that – he’ll be there waiting for you with open arms. Just as the king did to see his prodical son.

Know the Law ~

Every state is different so if you are headed down divorce highway, make sure you read the laws of separation guidelines within your state. In Arkansas, you can file for divorce the moment you decide that’s what you want to do. In NC, you have to be separated for a full year before you can file for divorce. The lawyer will ask what date you all separated and/or when they moved out the house. Whatever date that is, that will be the date (a year from now) that you can file for divorce. You have to remain separated for the full year, if they come back to stay for two months and leave then you will have to record the day that they left in which will prolong you filing.

Give Yourself Time ~

I started to put, “Don’t Date” after the dash but I know that, that varies by person. I would suggest from experience to give yourself some space and time after the split. The last thing you want to do is get mingled up with someone else and drag them into the hurt, pain and ups and downs of what you’re already going through. You really won’t know what you’re ready for until you give yourself some time. This time is for you to take a look at your situation and improve on who you are as a person. This means you’re going to have to do an inside/out job on yourself. Take time to clean out the hurt and replace it with peace, love and serenity. WARNING: This will not happen overnight.

Highs and Lows ~ Face It Head-on

When I was going through my divorce I had many high points and many low points as well. There were days where I was fine with what was going on and then there were days where I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. You’re going to have your high points and low ones too. On most days I woke up resentful, swearing that I would never, ever get married again and denounced relationships altogether. Bitterness and resentment will set in, so you’ll experience it all. Go through it, have your pity party – don’t sweep it under the rug to deal with it later. All those feelings need to come out now, it wouldn’t even hurt to talk with a counselor. I did and it helped me relieve a lot of stress and anger. Face It Now, rather than later.

Journal ~

If you can’t afford to see a counselor then journaling was another outlet for me that really helped alleviate stress, resentment, pain and anxiety. Its good to look back on it and see where you were and where you are currently now. It also gives you an opportunity to tweak areas in which you may still have issues with dealing with.

Healing Music ~

Music has a way of healing even the most messed up and broken situations. When I was going through my divorce I found a liberating song that I listened to everyday that helped me get out of bed and start my day. I would suggest finding a theme song for yourself. I wouldn’t suggest a song that reminds you of the person in which you are separating from. But a song that will give you strength to move forward. My song during that time was a classic by Wilson Phillips entitled “Hold On”. You’ll find your song and when you do, play it everyday until the hurt and pain you feel goes away.

For the Engaged or Newly Married – A few tips for you..

Keep God First – Need I say more?, This should be a no-brainer. You have to have a good foundation and having God aboard your marriage is where it all starts. Pray with each other everyday. 5min or 10min a day will keep the devil at bay in your marriage. Not to say that he won’t try to bring things against it but if you all can build a strong prayer life…he’ll have trouble trying to break the barrier.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate and Communicate some more – you’ll be surprised. Most marriages end due to a lack of communication, talk with your partner about everything of importance. Yes, there will be times where you need to be alone. But if it’s something that’s going to affect the marriage in a bad way, communicating with each other will keep everything on track.

Financial Discussion – This is the number one reason why most marriages fail. If you know your soon to be hubby or wife is not great with money, then you take it over. If you are not great with it either, then I would suggest you all get a financial counselor. Talk about what’s coming in and what’s going out, make decisions together when it comes to purchasing large items. It doesn’t matter who makes the most money and it’s not “my money” or “your money” it’s “OUR MONEY” remember you all became a unit of one, so whatever you money you make is made for the both of you.

Best Friends – You married or are going to marry your husband or wife for richer or poorer, sickness and health until death do you part. You are each others best friend as well as life partners. Create a bond with each other that no one will be able to break. This person will be down with you when everyone else leaves, outside of God, they should be the first person you go to, to discuss matters of importance. If you can’t count on anyone else – then you should be able to count on them.

There were many times in my life where that sentence line of my dad is _____________ was filled with words that I wouldn’t dare mention right now. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to grips with not being mad at the man that helped create me. (I’ll explain)…keep reading..

I never knew my dad, nor his family. I was told that he came to see me when I was three days old however; I remember seeing him for the first time at the age of nine. I finally got a chance to meet the man that I was so desperately asking to see since I was 5yrs old. What do I say? What do I do? Do I look like him? I was nervous, yet frighteningly excited and finally after what seemed like hours upon hours of excess adrenaline and anticipation, I laid eyes on the man I had longed to see. He was very tall, 6’7 I was told. Much taller than my 4ft tall height, he looked like the Jolly Green Giant over me. As he leaned back on the floor model T.V. against a stairwell, with a brown crumpled bag in his hand (in which I now know was a liquor bottle). He muttered “You know I’m your daddy right?” Stunned at his calm demeanor I quickly said “Yes.” – and that was all he said.

We ended up going to my mother’s cousins house, where he stood in the doorway of their dining room, looking at me as if he had never seen a little girl before. I head him tell several people, “She look like her mother.” as the night came to a close; he reached into his pocket, gave me $8.00 and took me home. I saw him again at the age of 14, my mother received a letter from Child Support, there was going to be a hearing and he had to be present. I begged my mother to let me go with her, just so I could see him and when I did, we locked eyes on each other and never let go. I wanted to make sure I got a good stare down of him, ; who knows when I would see him again and I was right, I never saw nor heard from him again after that day.

Because of that experience, my dad had become every nasty name known to man. How could he not keep in touch with me?, Every failed relationship that I experienced with men, I blamed him for every one of them. If he had been the dad I needed him to be, then I would know how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I became resentful, bitter and cursed the day I was born. While we can’t change whom our parents chose to date, marry or co-mingle with and no matter how much we would like to wiggle our nose like the famous “Bewitch.” – Wiggling our noses; will not change the past. As I grew much older; I realized, that while my dad may not have been the model dad I had wanted him to be, the best part of him and my mother getting together was me. I can’t help who my dad was or may still be but I can help who I am and whom I’ve become. Look at it this way, don’t hate the gene in which you were birthed from. Embrace it. I don’t hate my dad and really don’t care at this point in my life why he wasn’t there for me or why he didn’t do more. I forgave him for everything he wasn’t and began to ask God to help me to love the man, I never really knew. I love my dad and if he stood before me today. I would tell him that.

You see, we can’t change the past – no matter how hard we may try. The only thing we can control is the present; which determines our destiny and future self. So, what am I really trying to say? Be the best-est version of your dad or mom. No matter what your DNA may say or dictate whom you are or are supposed to become; you were put here for purpose and to fulfill purpose. You were placed here to make the best out of the negative situation in which you may have been born under. At the end of our lives, we have to all give an account for “our” own actions whether they were good or bad. Forgive your past, including your dad or mom and let it go – they’ll have to give their own account for their mistakes. You just make sure that your heart and mind is clear about it. You may not ever understand them, but you “do” have the ability to become a better person than they might have been. We all have the ability to turn any negativity into a positive one, it’s a matter of choice.

So, the next time someone ask you about your dad or mom?, Just proudly say “My dad or mom is human, a person whom conceived their best product yet (even if they don’t know it) and that person is ME!

Sunday’s Thought: You have one life, that’s all any of us will ever get. Don’t waste it, thinking about the past and why someone didn’t do what they were supposed to do. Do you Boo…Do You and Do it Well…