Blag of The Dwarves on Sex, Drugs and the New Taylor Swift Single

Friday night's lineup at Deep Ellum's newest audible invader, Three Links, is a bit of a dream for those of us who love our punk raw and possibly infected. Now, seeing The Dwarves live, standalone, is a crucial experience at least once in the life of all from the rebellion set....but this time around, they're paired up with The Queers for a hell of a club tour. We're lucky, and excited, to have the tour stop in Deep Ellum (especially sandwiched in between neighborhood dates from Angry Samoans and Black Flag), so we caught up with lead instigator Blag to catch up on all things insane and bizarre in the onward-foraging lives of the notorious Dwarves. May they outlive us all....somehow.

How long has it been since we've had a Dwarves show in Dallas? Are you aware youre not just in for the typical touristy stare of some of these little pony-stops you're playing right now?

We played Dallas two years ago at the Double Wide. The heavens parted, locusts covered the tour van and blind children could see again.

By the way, did you have anything to do with the rebirth of Mondo Generator as well? They just played in the neighborhood as well.

Rex Everything is a rock legend. A longtime Dwarf. His alter ego Nick 'SWAT TEAM' Oliveri is the founder of Mondo Generator, with his cohorts Hoss and Ian. We do our part by standing in awe of his genius!

Is San Francisco still Dwarves HQ? Why SF? Seems so expensive, among other things. Why leave Chicago? It seems like a match made in heaven for such a band. The punk culture there seems more....filthy and cut-throat!

I grew up near Chicago. It is filthy and cut throat, but it's also tedious and retarded. Come to think of it, we probably should have stayed there. SF makes a great arugula and persimmon pizza though!

What do the inside of Dwarves masks smell like? Do you still have your very first ones?

To find a metaphor for the mask smell I'll have to stoop to a joke about your mom, and I really don't want to do that, except to say she's very accommodating and leave it at that.

Speaking of, are you able to do any laundry on the road? Or, does the van basically smell like the inside of your masks?

We only use the van to get from the hotel to the backstage loading ramp. We use Dexter Holland's plane to get from city to city.

It's been years since you've taken a drink. Do you not "imbibe" in anything at all anymore? Whats the strongest substance that goes into the body of Blag nowadays?

It's more about what I get up in, Alan. It has been years since I drank, because drinking even makes punk records sound good, and I just can't abide that. We will always accept free cocaine if delivered on the succulent breasts of a young nubile and some hash oil would work well for tolerating the rest of this interview.

I personally don't believe that the above will make a bit of difference in the Dwarves show....but assuming you play sober now, where do you draw your inspiration for insanity and filth nowadays? Neurological warping? Carried-over insanity from youth?

We're entertainers, it's what we do. We're incapable of playing badly or without the passion of youth. The Dwarves are still the best band ever!

Is there ANYthing about modern day culture that you want to rave about? It can be food, music, gadgets, buttplugs, power tools, horror movies.....anything.

I like that Taylor Swift jam "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'. In a certain sense it's the 'Humpty Dance' of our era.

How about sex? Has "little Blag" gotten to "pack any small halls" in recent time? Is it more solo performances nowadays?

Blag has fucked so much and so well for so long that retirement is inconceivable. He likes tiny little spaces and big self esteem issues. He loves it when you call him Big Poppa.

Dallas would love some new Dwarves music. Or at least some cool covers or something that's a new surprise! What have you got for us?

A new Dwarves classic called 'Trailer Trash' is in the works, as is our answer to Psy's new single 'Gentleman Blag'. I think it was the Sugarhill Gang that suggested that 'ya don't stop'. And we don't!

Now check us out at www.thedwarves.com It's more fun than a barrel of monkeys! And see us at Scott Begg's new venue in Dallas or he'll slap you down the stairs and call you names!