Going a hundred miles an hour.....

July 02, 2007

i've touched down....

this is gonna be a long one....so settle in :)

i had been in such a funk these past weeks....i just couldn't shake it....and it sucked

my dad had a stroke a few weeks ago & that was definitely a part of it...but i also was having a real hard time figuring out what i was doing w/ myself....and i totally felt like the days were just slipping by and out of control...the kids were into everything...i couldn't get anything done....i felt like everything was just exploding in all directions....i couldn't focus...i couldn't think....i wasn't smiling too often....

and on top of it i ran into a huge creative block....at a time when i needed to be pumping things out....people were expecting me to step up to the plate & i could barely find my way out of the dugout...i really questioned my artistic ability & started to slack into that old habit of self loathing....when i sat down to create i was preoccupied with trying to make something that others would find interesting and cool and fantastic....and because of that....i was so un-inspired and un-motivated to create...and it sucked

but then the other day a few of my fashionista friends & i started to discuss inspiration....what inspires us? why do we create? what are we doing this for? it was spurred on by a post from kelli crowe who was asking those questions herself....and we all started to just talk....and vent....and share....and lay it all out....and by doing so i think we all got back to our own individual centers....we are each so unique and we have to maintain that...we have be vigilant to not loose ourselves in the mix...following trends are one thing....but loosing yourself is something different entirely....

but it is so hard b/c it is such a risk to put yourself out there sometimes...b/c for me, at least, it isn't just some pictures on a page & some ribbon...i am really putting my heart out there....i'm peeling back the layers of the onion (as shrek would say) for others to see....it is such a risk, but i've come to the conclusion once again that it is a risk that i am willing to take....

and i really came to this realization after hearing this song again...

and i adore the video....b/c the symbolism of her standing there naked for everyone to see is just so powerful....& the lyrics are just unbelievable...and so what i needed....
and so inspired by those lyrics and what they mean TO ME....i created this

and it is what I wanted to create...it is what I want to say....and it exactly what I'm feeling right now...

and now i've got my groove back...
'

i've jumped off of trying to go after those transparent dangling carrots

and that ever elusive kudo

and i'm going to enjoy the moment for once

and i'm going to remember my divinity...

and again....i am inspired

and i'm going to enjoy....for i have been so blessed

hope you have a fantastic monday

xoxoxo

gi

p.s.....you want to be inspired???? then definitely check THIS out....kerry inspires me every single day to continue to be true to myself....to dig deeper....to create and to enjoy.....she also makes me think and she challenges me.....she also makes me laugh so hard that it hurts

33 Comments

That's great Gi. I feel for you. I know how hard those creative (& personal) funks can be and I don't have the family, deadlines, other responabilities that you have on top of that. So I feel for ya! I am SOO glad that you got out of it and are back. LOVE you LO (AS ALWAYS, of course). I am with you re:that video.

i SO go through this over and over.....i hate loosing my mojo, it's so frustrating when all i want to do is create and all i do is stare into space and wonder what the hell do i think i'm doing instead....

dear gigi, so sorry to hear about your dad. How is he? I hope okay.
Hope you are doing better now, thanks for sharing. You inspire me every time you put your heart out there :), you certainly do!! And thanks for your sweet comment! Lots of love and hugs from the netherlands to you!

totally know what you mean! sometimes i get totally blocked when i look at all the amazingness out there and i start doubting my own abilities, or when i have the need to get it perfect for other people. i just need ot keep reminding myself that this is for me and the future mini-me's who will love me no matter what!

so glad to hear you are back to your self. hope your dad is feeling better and on the road to recovery. remember that everything we go through in life makes us the person we are, the good, the bad & the ugly.
gigi - you inspire me!!!!! {{{{xxoo}}}}

i love that we push each other constantly to dig deeper. i love that you make me laugh so hard mike asks me who i'm "chatting" with. i love that you have your groove back and are rockin it hard! i love that we get to play together in only 17 days in chi-town!! but mostly i love that you have a HUGE heart and that you are NOT afraid to share it with the world!!!!!
{{smooches}}

i never saw that video or heard that song (i live in a cave i guess). it brought tears to my eyes. there is such a powerful message there.
i am SO glad you're feeling more like yourself. i get those down-on-myself funks too. yucky stuff to feel so bad about yourself.
just remember - you are creating for YOURSELF; if others like it, that's a bonus (and i know for a fact that lots of us love your work - you ARE very talented).
btw, i think you're more like a parfait (shrek humor).
hugs, patty :-)