Formerly known as "True Confessions of a Mormon Mother" ...
Identity (of the blog) crisis in progress

Thursday, May 02, 2013

The Writer's Voice entry

This blog post is my official entry in a writing competition called "The Writer's Voice."

Title: Fight for the GalaxyGenre: MG fictionWord count: 47,600 words

Query:

Orion Carrera never wanted to save the world, much less the
entire solar system. But when the President of the Milky Way shows up at his
dad’s auto repair shop, Orion learns his dad has been keeping secrets. Big
secrets—like the fact that he is an intergalactic racecar celebrity, has saved
the galaxy dozens of times, and goes a lot farther away than Texas when he says
he’s away for business. And now the President of the Galaxy needs Orion’s dad
one more time in a race around the rings of Saturn to keep the evil Antennites from
annexing Earth’s solar system for their own nefarious purposes. And this time,
Orion and his carefree older brother, James, need to buckle up and join the
team.

Orion has to face more than just his insecurities and fears along the way—he
learns the truth about how his mother died, makes unlikely friends, and is
thrust unwillingly into the limelight while the Antennites try to make sure
Team Milky Way loses before the race has even begun. Things take a turn for the
worst when Orion falls for one of the Antennites' traps, and it looks like the fate of the solar system depends on Orion learning
that sometimes it’s okay to break the rules.

First 250 words:

I should have known my dad had a secret. I should have seen the signs but I didn't. Not until the truth flew out of the sky and hit me on the head. You're probably thinking that's just an exaggeration, but it's not. Seriously, it flew out of the sky and hit me on the head. It hurt, too. It happened on the last day of 6th grade. Everything started out pretty normal: cold breakfast, classes, and a long wait for my brother to pick me up after school. He was late, as usual, so I was reading a book on the grass. Everyone else was gone already except for a couple guys kicking a soccer ball around and some girls giggling together. I tried to ignore them, which was pretty easy since they were acting like I didn't even exist. I glanced up and saw a cloud of dust rising in the distance. Somebody was driving through the dirt roads in my small town way too quickly, and I had a feeling I knew who it was. Sure enough, the crazy dust storm headed straight toward the school. A minute later, a silver convertible materialized and skidded to a stop in the parking lot. The car was beautiful: a vintage 60's Jaguar in mint condition. The soccer players stopped and stared at it. "Nice car," one of them muttered to the other. He was right--the Jaguar was extremely valuable and my dad had spent months restoring it.

"And now the President of the Galaxy needs Orion’s dad one more time in a race around the rings of Saturn to keep the evil Antennites from annexing Earth’s solar system for their own nefarious purposes"

Sorry if that was confusing. It's kind of a long, rambling sentence, huh?

My best friend's son would probably love this idea - intergalactic racers incorporates two of his favorite things: outer space and cars (well, right now it's hot wheels but you know where that's headed :P).

I love the line " Seriously, it flew out of the sky and hit me on the head. It hurt, too." Awesome! And I love the comment on the left "you can't scare me. I have children." :) Your entry sounds fantastically fun. Best of luck to you. :)

I cannot breathe right now. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! I totally want to work on this one. I want you on my team! Gawd, I'm totally fangirling right now. I write MG, so you have to pick me. We'll work on making the pitch clearer and a few tweaks in the opening page.

Juliana, just checking to see if you saw the tweet about friending me on Facebook so I can invite you into Team Brenda's Coffee House where you can meet current and past team members, critique each others pages, make new friends, and most importantly, get instructions on where to send your query and requested chapters. Here's my page: https://www.facebook.com/brenda.l.drake.5