We had Jackie Chan rumbling in the Bronx, Bond mixing it up with a woman called Onatopp and Ice Cube hitting people in the head with bricks. I’m sure there are more technical fights but these are the scraps that have been burnt in my memory.

Kiss of Death –Little Junior Brown vs. Jimmy Kilmartin

I was going to write about the strip club throw down between Nicolas Cage and David Caruso. The scene was bonkers and did a fine job destroying the decorations within the strip club. However, I just want you to watch this video of Nicolas Cage as Little Junior Brown (Awesome!) throwing a guy out of a truck. There are three things I want you to notice. Look for the asthma inhaler, facial hair and terrible fall the stuntman takes.

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Friday – Craig vs. Deebo

Let him be a man!

The fight feels real because the punches seem like they actually hurt. Weight is added because this isn’t a meaningless fight. It is all about Craig becoming a man and eschewing guns for fists. He had a good chance of losing the brawl but at least he will live to fight another day. I love how nobody jumped in and how the two beat the crap out of each other.

David beat Goliath with a stone and Craig took out Deebo with a brick.

NSFW

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Rob Roy – Rob Roy vs. Cunningham

I am including this fight for one reason. Cunningham (Tim Roth) is winning the fight as he slowly wears down the larger Rob Roy (Liam Neeson). However, one lapse from Cunningham and Roy grabs the swords and vanquishes his cocky foe. Roth plays the scene wordless and his exasperation is evident. It was a gangster moment that has been burnt in my memory for 20 years. This is one of the first instances of Liam Neeson showing off his particular set of skills. Rob Roy has the market cornered on sword grabs.

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Goldeneye – James Bond vs. Xenia Onatopp

No more foreplay! It is the perfect Bond trailer moment and somehow plays sexy, violent and cool. It feels weird watching Bond toss around a woman but she would have inevitably killed him via leg squeeze. Brosnan is pound for pound the best hurt actor on the planet (Thank you James Bonding podcast). When Onatopp latches those gams around his waist Brosnan’s acting almost hurts you.

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Tommy Boy – Four punches and a board to the face.

After a near fatal highway accident Tommy and Richard have had enough of each other. Tommy incites Richard into a fight and eats four punches and a board across the face. It is the classic case of little guy in a little coat beating up a big guy in a big coat.

I love the build up and dialogue during the fight.

Richard Hayden: Look Mommy, the Rhino’s getting too close to the car.

Tommy: Him too afraid to get out, him just a little guy.

Richard Hayden: All right, that’s it, fat boy, I’m gonna wail on you.

Tommy: Hey, boys and girls, it’s Papa Smurf!

Richard Hayden: You don’t want none of me; think it through.

Tommy: Just gimme your best shot.

[Richard Punches him]

Tommy: That was it? Come on you can do better than that, can’t you Captain Limp Wrist? Try again!

[Richard punches him again]

Tommy: Hey everybody, is there a window open; I feel a draft!

[Richard punches him twice]

Tommy: If I wanted a kiss, I’d call your mother!

[Richard hits him over the face with a 2×4]

Tommy: That was a good one.

Richard Hayden: [Richard looks up] Hey, Prehistoric Forest!

Because of this fight we get this great line:

It doesn’t hurt here, or here, but right here.

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Rumble in the Bronx – Market Fight Scene

I love how Jackie Chan wipes out these punks quickly and proficiently. He throws some beautiful spin kicks, uses his surrounding well and his jacket becomes a weapon of mass destruction. Rumble in the Bronx was the first Jackie Chan film I watched and I immediately sought out his other action classics. I love how the Market fight blends awesome choreography and humor. It plays like a ballet of face punches.

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Mortal Kombat – Goro and the unexpected nut shot.

What do you do when a four armed immortal stands in front of you. You punch him in the balls and run! Great game plan. Perfect execution. Hurt balls.