Release the "mommy guilt," cut yourself some slack and take a little "me" time. I'm hoping to combine a cup of fact, and sprinkle in just enough of my own experience along with a dash of my failures to help you see that no matter the recipe you are a better mother than you give yourself credit for! If you have come looking for perfect punctuation and spelling, well then you are in the wrong place. In fact I am totally one of those people who use punctuation as an accessory. Ya know? Like hair bows.

If you need REAL advice from REAL working and stay at home mom's on pregnancy, childbirth and everything from the newborn to teenage year's. You have come to the right place! Sit back, relax, contribute your comments and......don't forget to take time to smell the baby lotion.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone is having a safe and blessed Thanksgiving. It's a great time to come together with those you love and care for and to remember all that we have been given. Express your thankfulness to those around you as you never know when life might change in an instant. Here are just a few of the MANY blessings I have been given.....

The opportunity to own my own growing successful business.
Chances to meet amazing women and care for them, their children and their families.
The most amazingly wonderful caring forgiving selfless handsome fantastic man. I love you babe!
Two of the most precious things in my entire life. Kayla and Kade, I do everything I do because I love you, I'm inspired by you, I'm proud of you and I'm so blessed to have you.
Freedom.
My Savior Jesus Christ.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
My "full time" job at the hospital where I get to care for women and their precious bundles ever week.
Cleaning supplies. :)
My loving and supportive parents.
Health.
Health of my family and loved ones.
Turkey.
Dogs, specifically Speedy, Tank and Cabela.
My in-laws. Parent in-laws and all of my husbands siblings and spouses.
Sunshine.
Prozac.
Lemon oil.
Jobs for me and my husband.
The ability to provide for my kids.
Clothing.....

The list could go on and on and on and on. What all are you guys thankful for?

Monday, November 21, 2011

P--Peak of crying. The worst crying tends of occur around 2 months of age and decline from 3-5 months

U--Unexpected. The crying often come on and stops for no apparent reason.

R--Resists soothing. The baby is often difficult to soothe.

P--Pain-like face. The baby may appear to be in pain even if they are not.

L--Long-lasting. The crying may go on for several hours a day.

E--Evening. The baby often cries more in the late afternoon or evening.

November is national Period of Purple Crying awareness month. Purple is not refering to the color but it is an acronym for the above. Check out all the info at purplecrying.info there's tons of fantastic info on there. What's normal, what's not. Suggestions for soothing your fussy baby. My favorite part of the website is the link that says, "How to save your babies life." I was intrigued, I clicked and I found a plethera of coping stratagies. One of the questions that we ask our patients before they go home is, "will you have the help you need when you go home?" Everyone needs someone. Sometimes the daddy's aren't as helpful as they think they are. If that happens, find someone else, hire someone. I don't know, just get help.

I was lucky in that my husband was extremely helpful. His mother came to help and she really was helpful. My mother came a couple of weeks after my baby was born and she was really helpful. Thank goodness cause I had one of those totally refluxy, fussy, spit up tons, cry more than any one kid should, not sleep at night babies. The kind that make you feel like a total failure as a mother. The baby that you JUST. WANT. TO. QUIT. CRYING. Ugh, thank goodness for the helpful arms and patience of my inlaws and my mother. Thank goodness they had the good sense to send me out, away, and down for a nap. I had no idea what the Period of Purple Crying was back then but I'm positive now that we were in it. It was purple all around. I was purple, she was purple we were just one big egg plant. Don't be an egg plant. It's not a pretty color. Not on me or on my baby girl anyhow.

The good news is, I'm not a failure as a mother. Not because of that anyhow. I love my daughter more than life itself. The Purple time of our life was short and painful and it's over. It's another one of those times that I told myself "this too shall pass" and it did. You are a woman. You are a mother. You are strong and capable and you can do anything. Take it one day at a time. One hour or one minute. Remind yourself of your worth and the worth of your child. Hold onto the love you have for that baby.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Am I getting really old? Please tell me you all know the saying, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away." Frankly, I don't know if it works or not but this year I may just give it a try. I am SO sick of illness. I hate it for me and I hate it for my kids. If only we all had the immune system of my husband. Man never gets sick. He's probably had surgery (bad knees) more than he's had a cold. So aside from apples what can we do? Mom's, we never have time to be sick. Frankly, no one does our job for us so by the time we are better the kids look homeless and the house condemned. Lol. I'm trying a little of everything this year. My kids are the ones I worry about the most. They have to wallow in that petri dish we call public school every day. I try to stress hand washing and mouth covering but if you've ever been in an elementary or jr. high school, you know it's a waste of effort. Don't get me wrong, my kids are totally the ones with pocket hand sanitizer and a box of tissues all their own. It's the daily Vitamin C and lots of hand washing and water drinking once they get home. We've been somewhat successful in the past but it'd be great if I could save the small fortune in copays and prescription cost that I pay out a few times per winter per person. :) This year I have assembled a new list. It's in addition to my previous list. It's for all of us, young, old, big, small.
1. Flu shot. Yep....I stand by my medical background. Get it. It doesn't make you sick. That's a lie and a silly coincidence that fate plays on you.
2. Hand sanitizer. Keep it EVERYWHERE. I have some right in side my front door and YES, people use it and are strongly encouraged to use it. I have it by every sink (I don't trust my kids to sing the ABC song) and I have it in their backpacks, my purse, and our cars.
3. Drink. No, not vodka. Although I'm sure it's crossed each mother's mind. Lol. Water, water and more water.
4. Here it goes....essential oil. Educate yourselves. There are so many that can do so many things. My favorite and cheapest are probably Lavender and Lemon. I think as far as respiratory illnesses are concerned they are good or so is Eucalyptus and peppermint. (and yes, you can buy them from me) If you want you can email me time4momcare@gmail.com and I will tell you how I made my own SUPER CHEAP way to diffuse the oils into the air.
5. Take a multivitamin. Get on for yourself and give your kids a Flinstone.
6. Seek real medical advice when needed. While I truly believe that the oils can help you stay healthy and fight of certain illnesses there may come a point where modern medicine needs to step in. The oils work and that's why they used to use them but....we live in a day and age where there are all kinds of mutant viruses and we would be naive to believe that they perhaps don't need modern treatments.
7. Last but not least. Eat an apple a day. LOL. Idk, I'm gonna try it. Maybe you should too. :)

Good luck and stay healthy! Protect your little ones, don't be afraid of offending people by asking them to stay away when they are sick or to use hand sanitizer or to wear a mask. You are your greatest advocate and you are your child's #1 advocate. Here's to a happy, healthy winter for all of us.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Don't shut down! Not yet anyhow. I sat and thought the same thing, really I did. Then......I got some free lavender. That from a fundraiser I was involved in and then a script from my Dr. for steroid tape. Apparently I can use either one to treat my son's GNARLY scar that he got from turfing it on the driveway and refusing to be taken to the Dr. (I know, I should have taken him. I know.) Turns out the Lavender was free to me and the steroid tape was $80! Holy crap! No way could I pay that! So we tried the voodoo. My husband so affectionately calls it...snake oil. Whatever, either way all I know is the boy would put it on and do it himself 2x a day AND that it was significantly cheaper. A move I took out of desperation turned out to be the start of something I NEVER thought I would explore. The world of essential oils. Who knew? Well, I'm sure many people did, but not me. I was so surprised to find out what you could treat with different oils and what they were good for. The next time I used my oil was about 4 months later. My daughter gets migraines occasionally and this night was one of those nights. I had her take 2 Excedrin migraines and an hour later still NO relief. Really? Again, desperate, I went to the the Internet and what would before my wandering eyes but appear? (What? Not in the mood for Christmas yet? Ok. Fine.) LOL The suggestion to use Lavender Oil. Hu. Ok, worth a try, my baby girl is suffering and while I'm sure the meds have got to be kicking in they don't seem to be providing relief yet. So I took a couple of drops of Lavender Oil and rubbed it into her temples and then placed a cool wash cloth on her forehead. It was only like 5 minutes and you could feel her body relax and in no time at all she was falling asleep. It was crazy cool.
So, this is my invitation to ya'all. Join me as I explore this world. These remedies used to be common place where now modern medicine has taken over. I am soooo grateful for modern medicine but am even more excited to explore this new world. Will it ever replace most of the pill bottles in my house? Probably not. Will it become my first option of treatment now? Probably so. Just as you wouldn't ever think about NOT taking medicine when needed why would we completely quit using something that worked so well in the past? If you wanna message me with questions feel free. If you wanna try a couple of things check out my website at www.doterra.myvoffice.com/melissabeckstrom

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Oh friends....I have been incredibly busy between the family, my job as a CNA and Time 4 Me. Time 4 Me has added cleaning to our list of ways to give you mom's a break and it seems that many of you are taking this opportunity. I love it! The down side is it seems this blog has been slightly neglected. Until now. This is a story worth waiting for.

I was work as a CNA a couple of weeks ago. I work on the postpartum unit at the hospital and we take care of new moms and their babies until they go home. I was helping a family and their new addition as they left the hospital and headed for home. Mom, Dad, new baby and I took the elevator down and just as we were getting off Grandma was there with the couples 2 year old son. This family didn't want to miss a minute of this memory and as you can imagine it took us no less than 10 minutes to get from the elevator doors the 20 feet to the front doors of the hospital. Once there Mom, newborn and I stood just outside the double doors and enjoyed the fresh air as Grandma was a few steps behind us and 2 year old son was running in and out of the double automatic doors. Those are like magic to a toddler. He was having so much fun. Dad went to pull the car up and when he got back Grandma really wanted him to take a picture of little man 2 year old playing in the doors. Like I said, this family didn't wanna miss a moment. Dad proceeded to take pictures until till he was able to get that PERFECT action shot of little man running through the doors.
Do you feel like this story isn't going anywhere? Ya, just how I felt. Lol. So finally we are ready to round up the troops, load em up and move em out. Little man 2 year old takes one last trip through the doors, into the hospital. Turns and starts to run back out and stops, HUGE smile on his face, right between the set of doors. The family called the young man on but he stood motionless, smiling, then what before my eyes should appear? Out of the shorts of the little 2 year old falls a TERD the size of a tennis ball. NO KIDDING! How on earth something that large came from something that small, how it got out of his unders unless he was flying free under those shorts I will never know. So where is your lesson in potty training? Grandma, was slick as a whistle. From her purse she pulled out a zip lock baggin in which there were 2 wet wipes. She took the wet wipes out, turned the baggie inside out and scooped up that poop just like you would if you were walking your dog, cleaned the carpet with the wet wipes and then zipped it all up and threw it away! It was hilarious and amazing. One of those times where you aren't sure you just witnessed something so hilarious. So, thank you Grandma. Kids or no kids I will be sure to pack my baggie and wipes cause ya just never know when you may need them.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Holy cow! I had no idea that the cleaning aspect would be such a popular service. The good news is I am super excited about meeting more of you fine ladies. I am so excited about helping the women of Utah County and Salt Lake County find a little more "Time 4 Me." So your thinking where's the bad right? The bad isn't all that bad but I am gonna have to hire some help! Yep! It didn't stay just little 'ol me for long. One woman can't keep up with the demand. Lol. So, along with the extra employee comes a little extra $. You will still be paying WAY less than many if not most of the people that have any kind of cleaning service. Generally just for the basic cleaning you will pay at least $15 an hour most companies I found were $18-$20 an hour. I just can't bring myself to do it. We all just need a break sometimes and no one wants to pay out the yang. Right? Right. So, the new hourly rate my friends....$13/hr. We'll bring the supplies, you provide the work. :) Email or txt me if you wanna get on the schedule whether for a one time cleaning or a weekly. It doesn't matter to me as long as you take a little "Time 4 Me". :)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Have you been wondering where I was? I'm here, just super busy. The first several weeks after school starts for the kids are killer. Getting used to routines and everything. Gone are the days of sleeping in and playing all day. Anyhow, Time 4 Me has expanded. We are now providing house cleaning services. You will find that Time 4 Me is significantly less expensive than many of the cleaning services that you will find on KSL and Craig's List. How is this possible? Lol. Cause ya just get me. Little ol' me. No big claim to cleaning fame here. I have a clean house. My mom did a good job at teaching me to scrub a toliet. :)
You provide the cleaning supplies and I'll provide the labor in turn providing you with a little more "me" time.

Friday, September 16, 2011

You waited, you planned. It's so exciting. The new baby is here! Didn't anyone tell you the joke? "Do you know what causes sibling rivalry?" "The birth of a second child!" Lol. If all the sudden your house feels more like tomorrows football game then there may be a good reason. It's not only hard for you to adjust to having another child. Your 1st baby is really going to feel it. Your toddler is used to being the center of attention. While you and I both know that the addition of a new baby doesn't mean that you love your first any less, try to convince your toddler of that. All the sudden your time and attention will be divided. ﻿

I had a client recently that brought home a new baby. A cute baby. Very cute. :) Anyhow, her 3 or 4 year old son became pretty jealous. He didn't dislike his sister, he was just really mad at his mom. He quit talking to her for a couple of days, then eventually he chose to speak to her again. Only when he did it was a yell. Everything was a yell. My cute client looked at me and said, "well, at least he is speaking to me know." Lol.

I've researched, I now what the professionals say, I know what I experienced. It sucks. You love your baby so much. Both of your babies, and all of the sudden you have to divide your time. There are a few things I compiled that I found and think you will find most helpful.

1. Prepare your child for the new baby by reading and sharing books. Introduce them to the idea of a sibling.

2. Get a small gift for your child from the new baby. Make it exciting to them that the baby is finally coming/has arrived.

3. Encourage your family and visitors to fuss over your 1st born. Pay special attention to him.

4. Expect some regression. It's gonna be a life changing event for everyone. Your toddler may regress in potty training and behavior. Take time, even say things to your toddler like, "let's pretend you're still a tiny baby" he will probably happily indulge in your attention for just a few moments and then be off to play if he isn't just gently remind him he is a big boy and ask him to go find his favorite "big boy" toy.

There's no magic trick to cure sibling rivalry. Take it day by day and just be patient. In the long run the winning team will prevail. It will be one big happy FAMILY. Well, for a minute anyhow. Until your new addition is mobile and takes that favorite "big boy" toy.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

It's no secret that vaccines are almost always a topic of hot debate. I'm too tire to debate with you. I work in Health Care, of course I side in favor of vaccines. My husband and I will never see eye to eye on HIS need to get a flu shot but luckily he doesn't care that I want the children to have one. My husband also has some kind of super power immune system and he rarely, I mean RARELY gets sick. I hate him for that! Well, I guess I love him for that. Lol. I wish that I rarely got sick. I however am one of the accident, flu, stomach bug, whatever illness prone. I get my flu shot. Every year. Some years I swear it makes me sick, some years I can't even tell I got it. This year I am just bugged by a sore arm. Nothing else.
So regardless of where you stand on the vaccine debate I am assuming that you like any parent would do ANYTHING for your child/children. Right? I often think of things like flu shots and other vaccines like I do the chicken pox. Have you heard of chicken pox parties? Probably not so much these days as when I was a child but I am always absolutely in AWE of people that participate in these. WHY? Why on earth would you purposely expose your child to an illness. Make your kid sick on purpose? Really. Hu. Whatever, different strokes for different folks but for me I will do absolutely anything to protect my kids from getting sick or hurt. If I can give my child a vaccine to help lessen their chances of getting things like the chicken pox, the flu, Hep B, Measles.....etc. etc. then by golly I'm doing it! The less they get sick or hurt the better. These are my babies! So, of course, when it comes to flu shot time I am first in line baby. Give me that shot. IF I get sick I don't wanna be sick long, no mom has that kind of time, and I surely don't wanna get my kids sick.
I often wonder if we don't think of the flu as a dangerous illness anymore but it just like many of the other diseases that are still alive in this day and age are still at times fatal. Did you know that there are somewhere between 40 and 150 children that die each year due to complications cause by the "common" flu. My heart breaks for those families and I pray that I am NEVER one of them. Never.
I know it's heart breaking to hear your baby cry and to watch them get poked. Just like us they probably get sore and hurt. So sad. Sometimes it even used to make me cry. You just have to remember that those tears are an example of your love. My daughter told me today I was mean and I didn't like her. LOL. I told her, "I love you more than you will ever understand and frankly, if you are mad at me cause I won't let you do something which makes me "so mean" then I am doing things right. The meaner you think I am just know that that's the more I love you!" Teenagers, ugh.
The flu is so much more dangerous for your babies than the common cold would be. I think that while we live in such an advanced medical society we sometimes forget how nasty some of the diseases and illnesses like the flu can be. While some of the side effects from the shot, such as, fever, aches, soreness, redness or swelling where the shot was given can be sad and a little scary as a parent, just think of all that love you are giving. Protect your little one. Save yourself the medical bills and stress and heartache. Get a flu shot, get flu shots for your kids, and as long as your baby is over 6 months of age, get your baby a flu shot!

Cabbage isn't just a great side dish for corned beef. Mother nature's kitchen has prepared for us a natural cure for swelling and nipple engorgement. Yep. Do you think that somehow in the night your boobs were replaced with two rocks. Rock hard balls covered with flesh? Lol. Head to the produce section at your favorite grocery and get yourself a big 'ol head of cabbage. Up until recent years there hadn't been many studies on the effectiveness of cabbage leaves for engorgement but beginning in 1993 researchers began studying groups of women who used cabbage leaves against some that don't. 1995 and 1998 similar studies were done resulting in the same effect. Mother's have found to receive significant relief from they symptoms associated with engorgement by placing cabbage leaves on their breasts.
The technicals behind it is tha cabbage tis known to contain sinigrin rapine, mustard oil, magnesium, oxylate and sulphur heterosides. It sounds like a bunch of fancy words to me but Herbalists believe that cabbage has both antibiotic and anti irritant properties.
Cabbage leaves are NOT recommended for mother's that have an allergy to Sulfa. So as with anything I guess be careful. Report allergic reactions immediately to your doctor. So you're putting your salad in your bra. Now what?

Use green cabbage

Crush the cabbage leaves with a rolling pin if the leaves do not take the shape of your breast.

Wrap the cabbage leaves around the breast and leave on for about 20 minutes. Twice daily is enough. It is usual to use the cabbage leaf treatment less than two or three times.

Stop using as soon as engorgement is beginning to go away and you are becoming more comfortable.

You can use acetaminophen with or without codeine, ibuprofen, or other medication for pain relief.

Ice packs also can be helpful.

Some women get a large lump in the armpit about 3 or 4 days after the baby’s birth. Cabbage leaves may be used in that area as well to help the lump go away.

I suppose whatever is left over will have a use just as satisfying as relieving engorgement. See below. :)

1/4 cup vinegar

2 tablespoons olive oil or vegetable oil

2 teaspoons garlic salt

2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 teaspoon dried tarragon

6 cups shredded cabbage

Cabbage Salad

Directions

In a small bowl or jar with tight-fitting lid, combine vinegar, oil, garlic salt if desired, sugar and tarragon. Place cabbage in a large bowl; add dressing and toss to coat. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

You heard me. Lol. I'm just wondering, we've discussed placenta eating and frankly I thought that through my six years working postpartum I had seen most everything. Well, I forgot one special little thing. Ya learn something new everyday. Met an interesting individual today that wanted the section of the babies umbilical cord that was trimmed down. When questioned as to what said individual was going to do with the cord section, "I just want to keep it as a keep sake." My response, "ok, as long as you aren't eating it or anything I guess." "Nope, just wanna put it in a baggie and save it"
OMG! For reals!? I tried to keep the non-judgemental me in check. I thought. Hu, maybe it would have been nice for my mom to keep my cord stub. Nope, nope. No desire to see that crunchy little nugget. But, I found after a good round of Google that I may perhaps be in the minority here. Seems that many women keep the cord stump as a symbol of that precious connection to their baby/child. Something tangible as the child grows and matures that they can use to remember those 9 months of current connection. I even found where some cultures consider it to be good luck. Like a lucky rabbits foot or something. I could always use a little good luck. I even found the following in my searching, "We planted a tree in our backyard and buried our sons stump under it with a silver dollar. According to Native American legend this is supposed to ensure the child grows big and strong like a tree and always has $ in his pocket."
Did you save any of your children's umbilical stumps? I'm just curious. I don't see any health concerns with keeping your child's umbilical stump but what is the personal/significance behind it? Enlighten me. I need it.

Now, another one of those moments that will make you as a mother frown upon me and feel better about yourselves. My 10 yr old calls me this morning as he is getting ready for school,
"mom, I want to have some of those chocolate chips."
"Well, ok buddy, but shouldn't you have some like, real breakfast food?"
"I don't know."
"How about a piece of toast bud?"
"Na."
"Ok, well, what do you want then?"
pause......thinking.....
"Um, BACON?"
"Ok bud. Bacon I guess." (we have the fully cooked microwave bacon so the boy child can fix it for himself in the microwave)

Yep, mother of the freaking year! My kid had a breakfast of chocolate chips and bacon. I had a good laugh over it, as well as with my friends at work. If only I could eat chocolate chips and bacon for breakfast and be at least 30 lbs under weight for my age. LOL!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Ladies, (and gentleman) what do we hate most? Like more than the last 10 lbs that won't fall off, more than the dirty socks on the bedroom floor, even more than the pee on the wall behind the toilet cause your little (or big, lol) man "missed"? Yep! When someone else is right. Ugh. How dare they! I have come to realize that all those dang coupon loving friends of mine.....*swallows pride* are RIGHT! If only I could have figured this all out 10 years ago. Think of all the money I would have saved by now. So what's my #1 parenting tip today.....COUPONS!
Don't be overwhelmed. Really. I suck at it. I hate it in fact. My husband even made the comment last night that perhaps I should get a coupon buddy so that I keep at it. I am probably missing things and therefore giving away money that would make real couponers cry. But, I did manage to save just as much as I spent. :) That's something right? I'm not about to pretend to make this post some kind of tutorial. I'm too new myself. I did go here to get started. They break it down nicely for the coupon impaired like myself. I spent around 2 1/2 hours last night going through my grocery list and then digging out the coupons and such but after today's successful trip. TOTALLY worth it. I don't have to buy diapers anymore but I'd imagine you'd make your Sunday newspaper subscription back just in what you would save on diapers let alone anything else. What tips do you have for someone like myself or the me of 10 years ago? I was just too overwhelmed with my littles to feel like I could take on one more thing. How do you get past that? I will poll my friends and "experts" and see what they say but I'd love to hear from you too!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Our Little's are good at so many things but don't you think sometimes they need a disclaimer like the ones on our rear view mirrors?

I was thinking about my kids going back to school and luckily mine are getting a little older but there is still the possibility that they are going to hear me say something and repeat it. Yep. REPEAT IT! (hangs head in shame) However, we have encountered an all new problem now that they ARE getting older. Guess what? They have their own opinions and certainly their own things to say. Due to the nature of my son's shyness I won't tell you that it was him this story is about. ﻿My children are opinionated to say the least but usually very well behaved and typically sensitive to other peoples feelings. Which is what makes this story about a particular little boy so funny.

One of the neighbor girls came home from being out with her mom to a yard full of the neighbor boys, ages 10-12 playing with her brother, age 12. She jumps out of the car, HUGE smile on her face and in anticipation asks the group, "do you like my hair?" grinning from ear to ear she waits, as she knows they do. What's not to love? She just got the cutest highlights for the first time! The group erupts in laughter and with her brother in the lead they, as any group of boys would, begin to tease her over her new hair do. The 2 things wrong with this:

1. Her mother didn't warn her NOT to under any circumstances EVER ask her brother if he like her hair, especially if his friends are around.

2. The rest of us mother's didn't teach our sons the OH SO VALUABLE lesson, when a girl asks you if you like her hair your answer is ALWAYS, Yes!

She quickly retreated to the safety of her house and the boys continued their game of war, or whatever it was that they were playing. Their games always involve plastic weapons of some type.

You'd think that it would end there. Well, that still would have been a great story but don't worry, it gets even better. The next day was Sunday so we headed our family off to church. Said little girl is in the same class with a couple of the little boys that were playing with her brother the night before. One boy in particular, who shall remain nameless (lol) proudly stands before the class that morning and says, "Let's take a vote!" The class responds affirmatively and the little boy continues, "Who HATES Katie's hair?" (Oh crap, who's kid is this?) One other young man lifts his hand quickly and enthusiastically while the other 2 sit quietly and the 2 other girls in the room precede to say how much they like her hair. Katie's mother went to the home of the little vote taker and just expressed to the vote takers parents that Katie was upset and crying over the vote and the vote takers parents expressed their apologies and then proceeded to teach their young vote taker that all important lesson, if a girl asks you if you like her hair what do you say? YES!

This story is what made me think of the following email I got, which I loved and for a second I thought about taping to the back of my own little vote taker.

"On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'"

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I have had a bit of writers block the last few days. That combined with a crazy busy work week at both my traditional job and Time 4 Me, left for little writing time. I am still deciding what topic I want to cover next so in the mean time I am posting a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

Slow the crap down! Has it ever occurred to anyone that riding the tail of the individual driving in front of you will NOT encourage them to drive faster? Some of us simply can't afford speeding tickets, or we chose to use that money on better, more fun, totally more awesome things. If you wanna drive over the speed limit don't expect the guy in front of you to do so too. Stupid. Now, I for one usually choose to continue to drive my slow, 5 mph over the speed limit. That often has a tendency to catch the attention of drivers that fly up behind me wanting to pass on a double yellow or something. I just can't imagine that I have ever been in such a hurry that I was willing to sacrifice my own safety, the safety and happiness of my family and the the safety of another driver of whom I have never met.You stand warned my friends that if you ever fly up behind the blue car with "Time 4 Me" on the back window I will not be pulling over. I will be praying for your safety and mine and I will probably be saving your butt from the ticket waiting for you around the corner where the Sheriff is parked!
So what if you are one of those people going seriously like 10 under the speed limit? First off, thank you for your safety BUT unless you are in a residential area now you are a freaking traffic hazard. How bout instead of waving your arms frantically and yelling in your rear view mirror at those of us behind you, how bout you PULL OVER! That's right. If you don't like someone behind you, then let them pass! Geez. I'm really not sure what you accomplish by waiting until they are next to you or stopped at a light behind you and holding up a sign saying you're taking down their license plate number. What are you going to do with the number anyway? Call the Sheriff and say, " I was going 10 mph under the speed limit and the car behind me was following closer than I'd have liked"? LOL. Thanks for the laugh!
But seriously people, in residential areas kids are out! Just because you don't see them all the time doesn't mean they aren't there. Slow the crap down. Don't be stupid. It's not worth the outcome should you choose to speed. The most important speed limits to me are the ones that are 30 mph and below. That means there are people around. People who are loved by someone. Little's who are loved. SLOW DOWN.

Thanks for indulging my soap box tonight. I will return another day with a real topic addressing some of the real issues you new mom's are facing.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I haven't given up on this. I am still trying to understand. I don't think I will ever be able to see eye to eye with those that practice placentophagia, or placenta eating. I'm trying, I think in order be able to care for families that perhaps live or accept things differently from myself I need to truly make attempts to understand people with different views than myself. Sometimes it's so easy and then sometimes, like with this one, it is a little harder. It's not that I am trying to convince myself it's good and ok and all that. No way! I am just trying to understand it a little more so that I can see why for someone else it would be ok.
It's been easy to find testimonials from women who have consumed their own placenta's (I'm told even vegetarians can do it as the killing of an animal doesn't occur in it's harvesting) by simply googling. I love google. I've gotten quite good at it actually, which is why when I posted the last post I was so surprised to find so much of what I would categorize as "opinion" and little scientific research. Even the website that claimed to have scientific research had very little. I did get a giggle out of some of the reasoning on some of the websites though. One sites major claim was that other mammals do it and that is why we should, plain and simple. It's mother nature's way. *clears throat* ok, well, other such animals do it as to not attract predators that will eat their young. It's their instinct as to survive. I don't remember the last time someone came into the hospital because they had sniffed out someones after birth. :) I giggled to myself last night while doing research on the computer which in turned made my husband question what I was giggling at. I told him, I was just thinking about our likeness to other mammals. I explained to him the theory of eating our placenta because other mammals do and I told him I giggled cause I wondered what would happen if we as humans also did as other mammals and abandoned or even ate our week or injured young. You know, like my dog (who did eat some of her placentas) who ignored one of her puppies because it was much smaller and weaker than the others. Something was obviously wrong with it. Everyone told me that was mother natures way of weeding out the ones that wouldn't survive. Hum. I guess if dogs do it we should too right? Lol.
The other thing I can't figure out is why we would think that the placenta was for our benefit. It didn't take much looking for me to find all the ways the placenta benefits the baby. The placenta is made by our bodies with a specific purpose. There's no question as to how AMAZING it is. The whole process from conception to delivery is truly a miracle. So many times I just look at the new little humans and I am just in awe. I realize that THIS isn't a scientific study but just by reviewing the information there I learned so much. Even so much more about how the placenta is purely for the baby and the pregnancy. Even the hormones produced and stored in the placenta that many have claimed are for the mom and that help against post partum depression or will help with building a good milk supply, those hormones are for the pregnancy! Progesterone is vital in making sure that the pregnancy is not lost and Estrogen functions in stimulating uterine growth so that it can sustain a growing fetus. I can accept cultural reasons people may have for burying or consuming their placenta but I am still having a hard time understanding that it's just "natural" or "mother natures way". I may be too "medical" to fully understand the meaning behind the decisions that some mother's make. One thing I know is that no matter how your baby got here or what you did with your placenta as long as your baby is healthy and happy it's non of my business. But it sure does make for a good blog topic. :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Do you think I’m crazy? I’m not but someone might be! Warning, this post is kinda gross and probably offensive. I don’t care if you read on but read on at your own risk. If you choose to participate in the discussion please keep offensive language out or your comment will be deleted. With that said, sit back, relax and enjoy the afterbirth. Lol.

·I received the following on the Time 4 Me facebook page several days back, "Did you see the article about women eating their own placenta because it's supposed to help prevent postpartum depression? I think it was on Good Things Utah...not sure. I'll try to find the link. I'd love to hear a discussion on it!"

OMG! I searched and read and googled and read and then contemplated it until my head hurt. I just can’t wrap my head around ingesting one’s own placenta. Ya’all may be offended at my lack of open-mindednesson this subject and I guess that’s ok. We can agree to disagree but please don’t invite me to dinner when you have placenta stew.

There was an article on msnbc.com that I loved. I’m pretty sure the writer and I think alike, a little. The article is discussing the fact that there isn’t much if any research to support the effects that these women are claiming to receive from ingesting their placenta. They are quoting Diana Dell who at the time of the article was the assistant professor of ob-gyn atDuke University. Drum roll please……favorite quote, “There’s certainly no data,” Dell says. “And, truthfully, the only place there may be data is in veterinary journals.”Excuse me? Veterinary journals? I have experienced the miracle of birth. I have experienced it 17 times. I have 2 children and I have watched 2 litters of puppies be born. You didn’t think I had that many kids did you? Bwahaha. So here’s what I know, my dog did ingest some of her placenta, but not if I could help it! My dog also licks her own butt, that of her puppies and for the first several weeks licks up their poop and pee! Are you trying to tell me that one of the arguments in favor of eating our placenta is because of the facts that we are mammals and other mammals do it? If that’s your argument I want you to think about one thing…..butt licking! I’d like to think that I am a slightly more advanced species of mammal.

I try to avoid being completely one sided on topics. So while I obviously don’t think this is much of a yummy topic I wanted to give you the reasons that people DO do this. One problem, there isn’t any actual factual research to support the benefits of placenta eating. Now I can’t say that if I had cancer and traditional treatments weren’t working that I wouldn’t try it, in capsule form, if someone, many someone’s told me that it worked to cure or slow the progression of the cancer. When it comes to post partum depression and milk production I can think of many artificial means to cure those ailments that I would try many times over before resorting to consuming my own placenta. But….if you are interested in it read the NY Magazine articles. If you already do this I would love, love, love to hear your side. What it does for you, how you felt before and after, where you found your research, anything that you have to say that could help me to understand. I feel like I am a pretty open minded person but like I said, I just can’t wrap my head around this one.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Alright, the contest is closing up. If any of our new followers want to get it on it look back through our older posts. Go to the "Contest" post and comment with something you like about the blog, a topic you want covered or whatever. Go to the Time 4 Me facebook page "like" Time 4 Me and find the status that asks, "What makes you crazy as a mother? Any pet peeves you have? and comment on it. Then post on your facebook wall the link to the blog. That's it! Your name will be entered into the drawing for the I-tunes gift card! Contest closes Thursday September 1st! Thanks for participating and good luck!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Welcome to motherhood. It's an elite group really. Not for the weak. There is a serious disease that comes with the title of mom and induction into the motherhood group. Your friends and loved ones should have warned you prior to conception. WHAT? No one told you. Well, crap. Since bad news is better when it comes from a friend let me be the one to break it to you. Motherhood causes a very distinguishable lump on your hip. It's more a growth really. It's rarely not there and the further post-partum you get the large the growth. OH! Haha. That's your baby? Lol. Of course it is. I was finally able to detach mine somewhere around 4 yrs old.
Who am I kidding? I haven't fully detached my own growths. My children and I have been sharing a bedroom for the last week while we are on vacation at my mom's and my 10 year old just informed me that he WILL NOT go to bed without me. When explaining to him that he was old enough to go to bed without me my 13 year old jumped on the wagon and asked, "why can't you just come lay down while we fall asleep?" Geez, what's a mom to do? Those beautiful eyes of your baby boy and girl. Then the little man busts out the lip. Ugh. I'm had. So, here I sit, typing a post on separation anxiety in the dark bedroom while my "babies" fall asleep. So once again. I'm not the expert at much of anything except doing things wrong. Lol. But I can tell you what the experts say and we will sprinkle in a bit of what worked for me. (except tonight when clearly they are relapsing)
To understand that screaming growth clinging to your leg with a grip that not even Superman could mimic you've got to understand what's behind it. Isn't it ironic how mother nature is testing your abilities and frustrating that she's up in your business. I'd love to tell you that there is an easy fix here but there isn't. Unfortunately for us parents, separation anxiety is.....NORMAL. Ugh. Yep, totally normal and nearly every baby has it in some degree or another. Until somewhere around 8 months babies are blissfully unaware. Then it doesn't matter if you simply go around the corner, leave the room or drop them off for the evening with a friend so you can go out, they notice you are gone. They know you are gone and they have no concept of when you will come back. Usually around a year old they will loudly protest you're leaving as they are still without a concept of time. No ability to realize that you will come back for them. Sad hu?
It is different for each child as to how severely they develop separation anxiety and for how long it lasts. The good new is that you are a freaking FANTASTIC mama and you have developed a healthy relationship with your baby. You are well bonded. Ok, so what are some tactics to use to help ease that little growth off your hip and into the room full of toys and children? Ever heard the saying practice makes perfect? Yep, best way to approach this with a baby that is struggling with separation anxiety is to practice it. Like anything else if baby is hungry, tired or sick it's NOT a good time to practice. Best time to leave baby? Well rested and with a full belly. Get a plan in place. Make sure to hug and kiss baby good bye. You can even blow kisses and wave on your way out. Then make your big exit. Do it. You have to follow through. You leave. Now for the don't list. DON"T sneak out while baby isn't watching and once you leave DON'T go back. Not yet anyhow. It will just make things worse.
I know, I make it sound so easy. It's not, you know it and I know it. We question ourselves the second that pouty lip comes out and then Heaven help us when the tears come. If it's not only too much for your little one but also for you then start slow. One of our followers mentioned that her extreme mama's boy would be entering Sunday School and that he "just isn't ready". Well, you're his mom. You decide. Just because there is a time line that says he is old enough to go doesn't mean he has to. It doesn't mean that he NEVER has to, it just means that you get to practice. Practice at home. Find a friend you trust (writer clears throat) and leave him for 30 min, then and hour. Once you can leave him with someone else at home, take him to someone else's home. You have to develop the pattern of leaving him and then coming back for him. Over and over and over. Eventually, he'll get it. I promise. Do the same thing for Sunday school. Keep him with you for awhile and then leave him for the last 20 min. Pretty soon that 20 min will turn into the entire time. Some kids will just "peace out" mom and dad and hit the toy box in a dead sprint and others will find a good place on that hip to cling onto hours in advance of being dropped off. Just remember it's not a matter of if it's when. Practice makes perfect, give baby a good hug and kiss, take in that smell of baby lotion to get you through his tears and yours as you walk away and then enjoy your time knowing your are teaching your baby a very valuable life skill. You are a good mom, and if once in awhile you have to type in the dark then so be it.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I had the opportunity last night to have dinner with some of the most amazing women I've had the pleasure to ever know. Currently I am visiting my parents in Ohio and I met up with some girlfriends from H.S. for dinner. They are all gorgeous, talented women and every single one of them is also a mother. I suppose that anytime you put a bunch of mothers together to catch up on old times there will be much talk of the children. What mother doesn't wanna talk about her kids? Even when we say we aren't going to talk about them we do. Lol. Part of our conversation went to how to build self-esteem in our children. I got to thinking about that and decided it was totally post worthy. So, what's my take on it? I have a few thoughts. I think the most important is teaching your kids when they are with their friends that they don't have to give in to peer pressure. It doesn't matter the seriousness of what it is they are being pressured to do. Our children have their own thoughts, opinions and beliefs and they should stand up for them at all times. The next would be honesty. Remember children no matter how small learn from example. Teach your children to be honest at all times. The last of the things which I hope I am instilling in my children and which I think are important are the ability to love others, love work and to be spiritual. Whatever that means for your family. None of which are taught overnight and none of which are easy. I found the following poem that I thought fits this post well. Whether you are a new mom or an experienced mom, teaching our children to be strong and to stand up for themselves is something we are continually teaching. Do you have any thoughts or comments? I'd love to hear comments from you more experienced mothers and from you new mom's as to what you are doing or have done to aid your child in having a strong self-esteem.

Myself

by Edgar Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in this struggle for fame and pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to think as I come and go
That I'm for bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself -- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Monday, August 22, 2011

You know what I'm talking about. "The look" is one of the most guilt inducing, second thought invoking, self criticising things there is for us as parents. It's not the look itself so much as the fact that someone, ANYONE, is judging you as a parent. Not only are they judging you but they think you are making the wrong decision. Yep, I know the look. I know it all to well. But, that's why I'm here and why you keep coming back right? So you can learn from my mistakes? NO! So you can release that parenting guilt. None of us are perfect. It's just that the people that give "the look" think they are.
So you're wondering what caused "the look" right? Well here's the story. It was an overcast Ohio day. The temperature was perfect. The family was all in town. My parents, my brother and his wife and my children and I headed off to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. It's become sort of a family tradition. Our waitress was an older gal. Surely past retirement age. If she wasn't then life has not been kind to her. I don't know the circumstances behind people but every time I see someone that I know could be retired, like the Walmart greeter or my waitress at Cracker Barrel I get a little soft spot. It's a mix of pity and admiration just so I cover all my bases. They could be working just for fun to keep themselves busy and youthful or they could be working because they aren't able to retire. Either way I'm covered in my respect of them. Back to the story. A soft spot had been created for our waitress that day.
The first time "the look" came was when we were ordering our drinks. Coffee for my parents and my brother and his wife, my daughter wanted hot chocolate, Diet Coke for me (what? I don't drink coffee and I wanted some freaking caffeine! Lol) and a kids Coke for the boy. There it was, "the look". I let it go. I knew what caused it. Whatever. No big deal. Maybe she had a bad dream last night about someone and their Coke. Usually once you get "the look" you don't get it again. Once they have shown their disapproval for your parenting skills you are safe from the torture again. Nope! Not today. Our waitress came back to deliver the drinks and what to her wondering eyes should appear, my son quietly entertaining himself.....with his PSP. There it is again "the look". Well now I'm thinking, "listen lady, at least my kid is being quiet and not disturbing the other patrons or making a mess on the floor or whatever!" but I didn't say a thing. Just smile and pretend ya don't care. My story is too long hu? Ok, to the point. She went to take our orders and I ordered my son the kids pancake and a whole order of bacon. "Kids pancake and a 1/2 of bacon," she reads back to me. Then we go back and forth a couple of times where I tell her I need a WHOLE order of bacon for my son. Not a half, a WHOLE. (it's not like a whole order is that much, she'd probably die if she knew I had fed him 8 pieces the day before at home. Haha) The rest of our visit was uneventful. I let my kid have a refill on his Coke (which he didn't drink) and he ate his WHOLE 3 pieces of bacon along with his pancake and my sausage. Now are you wondering yet why I'm telling you this story? It's the guilt people. That stupid parenting guilt. Why do we do it to ourselves. I can't even begin to describe to you the number of times I have beat myself up over a decision I made or a parenting tactic I used. DON'T do it. Children are resilient. I am more concerned about whether my kid says please and thank you than I am over if he wants bacon for every meal. (of course he doesn't get it but we are at Grandma and Grandpa's and they can spoil him however they see fit)
I have been using this blog to give you some real world advice/experience along with the standard answers to what some of your questions have been. If you take nothing else away from here I want you to remember not to worry about "the look." It isn't possible for you to be the "worst mom ever" because that is a title I already proudly wear. I figure if my kids have clean clothing and a clean home, good manners, are active, spiritual and obedient children I will take the "worst mom ever" title. So let go of your mom guilt. Feed your kid bacon. If they ask for bacon again, then give them bacon. For you new mommies, quit feeling bad over letting your husband do the night time feedings or changing the diapers. Quit worrying about leaving the children and going out with your husband for the night. Who cares if you let your kids eat things that other people don't! You've heard the saying before, don't sweat the small stuff. If you hug your babies, kiss your babies, put your baby in time out and make them take a nap and then hug and kiss them some more. If you love your baby more than life itself then you have what it takes to be a good mom. Get rid of the guilt and just enjoy smelling the baby lotion!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Humans, even little humans won't last long on a liquid diet.We have so many food choices for us big humans, or should I say, more experienced humans that it's hard to decide what to feed ourselves. Now our littles are dependant upon us for their food choices too. Ugh. Luckily as parents we usually do better by our children than we do by ourselves. The first 4 months or so are the easiest in the fact that it is a liquid only diet. Breast milk or formula ONLY. Remember, while I am trying to give you the perfect facts I am far from perfect. I am the naughty mom who's baby wasn't gaining enough wait (although she was bottle fed) and who had reflux so bad that the thin formula would undoubtedly come right back up SO, what's a new mom to do? Nope, I didn't seek out medical advice. I wasn't that smart. I googled. Lol. I cut an X in one of the nipples of her bottle and I mixed some rice cereal with her formula. Not only did she quit refluxing so bad but she also started sleeping through the night longer. There, there is my dirty little secret. Do as I say not as I did, right?
So how do you know when your baby is ready to start experimenting outside of the world of breast milk or formula? Here are some things to watch for.....

Does he move his tongue back and forth? If you give him a little something is he able to keep the food in or does he push the food out with his tongue?

Is your little tank still hungry after 8 to 10 feedings of breast milk or 40 oz. of formula in a day?

Alright, baby looks ready for a real meal. Now what do you feed? If you are worried about allergies or anything my suggestion would be to start slow. It's better to avoid more allergic food like soy, dairy, eggs, fish and wheat. By slow I mean introduce something new only every 4 days. Feed baby breast milk or formula and then get some "food" ready. Start first with infant rice cereal. Mix 1tsp of cereal with about 4-5 tsp of formula or breast milk. It will be super runny but we are just introducing baby remember.If something you introduce baby to seems to not be a favorite just try it again in a few days. There is no "right" amount to feed your baby. He will require different amounts at different times. Don't try introducing new foods to baby if he is grumpy or tired. Some other great choices after infant rice cereal are pureed bananas, peaches, sweet potatoes and pears. Just like us babies would rather have sweet things so make sure and give your veggies first.
Keep feeding your baby breast milk or formula. There's no way you can replenish the important vitamins and nutrients that baby gets from breast milk and formula with solid foods. In addition to the nutrients imagine the calories. That little needs more calories than solid foods could ever cover.
So enjoy experimenting with your real life little person. Don't worry when he dribbles sweet potatoes or spits green beans at you. It's not the cooks fault or a problem with the food. It's all part of the fun for a baby of finding all the fun things they can do and the reaction they will get from you. Lol. Have fun getting the green beans out of your babies ears and don't forget to take time to stop and smell the baby lotion.

Friday, August 19, 2011

This post is interactive my friends. Send the link to your friends in an email or post it to your facebook wall. I’m doing a contest for everyone! Yep everyone. Germany, Utah, Ohio, the Netherlands. Where ever you are following my blog from. What are you competing for? I am giving you one of the things that keeps me sane as a mom. MUSIC! $10 I-tunes gift card! So how are you gonna win that card? Here are the rules.
1. “Like” TIME 4 ME on Facebook. Here is the link to my Facebook Page.
2. Post a link to my blog http://www.time4mommy.blogspot.com/ on your Facebook page (yes you must have a Facebook account, this is the year 2011 people!)
3. On the TIME 4 ME Facebook page comment on my status about Pet Peeves. What’s the one thing that people do or say that as a mother makes you CRAZY!!!
4. Comment on this blog post. Not just a lame comment. Something more than a sentence. Something you like about my topics, a topic you want covered an experience you’ve had as a new mom that other moms could benefit from. Give me something good!
NOW HIRING-blog contributors. The pay is awesome; it pays zero dollars and zero cents. :) You get the satisfaction of knowing you have filled your computer time with something worth-while. I am looking for a contributor. You can contribute as little or as much as you’d like. Your posts won’t go straight onto the blog. I’m not that crazy. You will email me your topic and then your finished post. I will review it, edit it if I feel necessary and then post it. (or not post it if it’s inappropriate or suckish) Email me your goods and when it makes it to the blog you get all my praise and thanks. I will be sure to feature you as the writer for that post. This isn’t an anyone and everyone kinda gig. I will take the first 3 truly interested people. You are thinking…..why would I want to be a contributor? The blogs is growing fast and furiously. You will be free to advertise yourself or link to your product at the end of each post you write. SO, email me your first entry along with a little background about yourself and a couple sentences as to why you want to be a contributor. Also if you will be advertising a product or service I will need to know what that is also. The last thing you need to know is if the service you offer is at all like my own then I won’t be accepting you as a contributor. If you aren’t sure exactly what the crazy lady here does then check out my website. No way I can let the competition in. Not yet anyhow. LOL.
O.K! Good luck with the contest and email me at time4momcare@gmail.com if you want to be a contributor.

I know, you are thinking we’ve been there done that with this. When I posed the question on facebook about whether to breastfeed or bottle feed your infantI didn’t realize how often it comes up with new moms. So how do you decide what to do?

1. Research, not too much though. Knowledge is power but sometimes people educate themselves so much with what I like to refer to as “book knowledge” that they loose their common sense.

2. Poll for opinions. You’ve heard the old saying, “opinions are like butt-holes, everyone has one” (LOL, I love that it’s my blog and I could use that phrase. It makes me giggle every time.) Ask people, ask your own mother, your sister, friends. Ask the nursing staff. They see a lot of babies. You will find a broad spectrum of answers.

3. Go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that your baby would do better bottle feeding, then do it. If your gut tells you that YOU would do better bottle feeding your baby. Do it!

There are three things I don’t want you to do.

1.DON’T ask lactation! If you need help with breastfeeding then ask them for help but if you want their opinion on the best way to feed. Don’t ask. If everyone bottle fed their baby then surely these gals would be out of a job. Although some of them would tell you very honestly that if your babies blood sugar is low or your baby is loosing a lot of weight quickly that you would be better off to supplement with some formula after you breastfeed.

2.DON’T feel like if you give a little formula that you won’t ever be able to breastfeed. No baby is gonna want a cold rubber nipple with formula over a warm, soft mommy with sweet breast milk. (unless you are my baby and then you LOVE formula cause you’ll never get breast milk.)

3.DON’T feel guilty!

So, you’ve taken the steps, made the decision and you decide to BOTTLE FEED! J Now what? Are all formula’s created equal? How will your baby take to the bottle. The good news is that now days all formula’s are made to be as similar to breast milk as possible. The FDA regulates how little and how much of the essential nutrients that babies need that the companies must put in the formula. Some companies are adding DHA and ARA to their formulas. These are essential Omega-3 Fatty Acids found in breast milk. The companies state that adding DHA and ARA to the formula help infant eyesight and brain development. Do I have an opinion as to which kind is best? Well OF COURSE I do. I feed probably no less than 6-8 babies a week at my job. Of the formula’s that are used Nestle Goodstart is my current favorite due to the whey protein they use. It is made to break down into smaller pieces and are easier for your baby to digest. Typically with babies we have that are bottle feeding for the night with Goodstart are less spitty than those taking Similac and Enfamil.

Bonding with a baby who is bottle fed is the same as bonding with a baby who is breastfed. You can still do skin to skin. Hold the baby against your skin when you feed her. Open up your shirt and allow baby that close sensation. This helps your newborn learn to regulate her own temperature, feeland smell you and is all around comforting to them. Always hold your baby when you are feeding it a bottle. Never prop the bottle. I am guilty of doing it and it seems so easy to hurry and do the dishes while the baby eats but you are not only depriving yourself and baby from some very important snuggle and bonding time you are also putting your baby at risk for choking, ear infections, and tooth decay. Take it slow and don't always feed baby on the same side. Don't rush the feeding. Sometimes with bottle feeding babies eat much faster than a breastfed baby. If you take it slow you can enjoy the parent/infant bonding. Feeding baby on different sides allows baby to develop muscles on both sides and to see the world from a different perspective.

Enjoy these first few weeks with baby. Before you know it she will be holding her bottle independently and you will be missing all the snuggles and bonding you had before. They get big so fast. No matter how you feed your baby take time to smell the baby lotion.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Alright! It's no secret that I haven't been as supportive of breastfeeding as I could be. In fact, I work on a postpartum unit as an aid and I frequently THANK HEAVENS that aids aren't supposed to do any breastfeeding teaching. I bottle fed my babies because when I tried to do the nursing thing with my first it was a night mare. Strange old ladies touching my boobs. No way I was doing that again with baby #2. SO....I have become the #1 supporter of the formula companies. I once recently joked with the Similac Rep when he came to the hospital that I would like to grow up and have his job one day. Changing the world one bottle at a time!
I have to admit though, lately, I am starting to see the error of my ways. I'm not admitting that breastfeeding is for me, I'm just saying that perhaps breastfeeding isn't as bad as I pretend it is. I have a friend that recently had twin baby girls. She is amazing. She will be the best little mom. She is VERY dedicated to strictly breastfeeding. She would never do so if it for any reason was dangerous for the babies. (for example if they had low blood sugars or lost too much weight) This got me thinking, for the moms that are really dedicated and determined to make breastfeeding work and work for the long term what could I do to be more supportive. So, let my research begin........here's what I learned. The most interesting for me wasn't how to build and sustain a good milk supply, it was the mechanics behind breast milk. I went HERE and learned about what they call endocrine control of milk which basically means that in the beginning your hormones control your milk supply. I love the way they describe it as "a safety net for the milk supply in case things between mom and baby don't get off to an ideal start." Then after the first few weeks as your mature milk comes in it is called the autocrine control of milk. This period basically means supply and demand. Your body is going to produce based on what is emptied. So if you have a baby that doesn't eat well or if you are spending long periods of time away from your baby then your milk supply will decrease. SO, what was the best advice I found on keeping a good milk supply? Pump after each feeding. Keep in mind if you have a crappy pump then it's not going to do you any good. Best advice for if your milk supply decreases? POWER PUMPING! Anyone know what that is? I sure wish I had. Apparently the advice from lactation nurses is to power pump. To power pump you pump for 10 minutes then rest for 10 minutes on and off for 1 hour. It's like tricking your body into a growth spurt. Well, a milk spurt. Lol. The other thing I found that they recommended was to take fenugreek. Stay tuned. Who knows maybe my next post will be about breastfeeding holds and other tips. Well, maybe not either. :)

If I have favorite lactation consultant the author of this book is her. Anything good I know about breastfeeding is from her. I <3 Michelle. Check out her book.

I found the following review of her book and I love it!

"When my daughter was born and wouldn’t latch on to my breast for the first ten days of her life I felt very helpless and alone. I had no idea that breastfeeding would be this difficult, had no one in my immediate circle who was able to help me figure things out and had no time to read a book. I eventually sought out the help of a lactation consultant and La Leche League but I wish I had Mommy’s Little Breastfeeding Book: 101 Tips Your Baby Wants You to Know About Nursing by Michele Leigh Carnesecca, RN, IBCLC in my hands.
Though there are plenty of breastfeeding books out there, what I like about this one is how to-the-point and easy-to-read it is. Written by a registered nurse and lactation consultant who realized that she was repeating the same breastfeeding tips over and over again to nursing mothers, the book is divided into three categories — Before the Hospital, At the Hospital and At Home. Each page offers important information without scaring off the reader. I also like that it offers product suggestions and can, at times, even be funny while still sharing crucial tips. The book’s small size is also appealing as it can easily be carried in a bag."

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

You probably all have one? Right? Heck, I want one and I don't have a carseat to put it on.

They are just that cute!

I wish that someone would have thought of this when my babies were babies! I love it! So why am I devoting an entire post to it? Well you see, I am thinking that someone, anyone may be like me and be a little sunny side up. You know? Glass half full kinda girl. I see things, I think they are wonderful and I want it. I am lucky though in that I have friends to bring me back down to earth and remind me to look at something fully when deciding to use it. Just like this. Super cute, eliminates the need for a blanket draped over the top, keeps people from coughing and sneezing all over my newborn, keeps strangers from staring at my baby. It's dark, baby sleeps. IDK, all around fantastic.

Well, maybe not. Maybe pretty wonderful but there are a few things to remember when you are using one of these. They are perfect for protecting your baby from the wind or rain or whatever mother nature is throwing at us that day. Like I said earlier, they are also great for keeping stranger from poking their heads in close and for keeping people from coughing or sneezing all over your baby. The risk involved here is when baby is covered there may not be adequate air flow. While that's the idea it's also the problem. If baby is "rebreathing" it's own Carbon Dioxide it could potentially cause SID's. Just make sure that if you are using one of these covers you take it off when the baby is safe in the car or house and that if you are leaving it down while you are in the store, maybe just make sure to vent out the sides or pull up one side only.﻿ While this isn't something that we hear all over the news it's definitely something to be considered. You don't wanna be the one to make the news. Right? At least not for that. Better safe than sorry.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Just like you wouldn't feed your baby expired milk. You shouldn't use an expired car seat. Well, I guess if you'd take a big swig of chunky goodness yourself then you would perhaps feed it to your kid, but NOT me!

Ever noticed the sticker on the back of your car seat? It's there, don't worry. It gives the manufactured date of your car seat. Did you know that car seats expire? Just like if your car seat has ever been involved in a car accident you aren't supposed to use it, the same is true with expired car seats. Generally car seats expire 6 years from the date it was manufactured. Why do they expire? They don't grow mold or explode. But technology changes. Well, technology advances. Along with advances the government is always changing its standards.

On another note let's talk about the switch from the infant carrier to the bigger car seat. The current AAP recommendation is that your baby ride in a rear facing seat until the age of 2 or when it meets the highest weight or length allowed by the manufacturer. That doesn't mean that you have to keep your 1 year old in it's infant seat, you can advance them to the bigger seat, just keep them facing the back. The AAP doesn't just make up a bunch of stuff they think would be funny to watch us as parents try to enforce. There is a science and real life situations to back it up. When it comes down to it you are the parent. It's your child and you are making the decisions regarding your babies safety. I just have to wonder at times if we are in such a hurry to have our kids grow up or to have that super cute car seat or to quit listening to the baby cry because it's sick of facing backwards. There are a million reasons we decide to turn our child's carseat to the front. But how many of them are good, truly good reasons. You know, selfless ones? How many of them are educated ones?
I'll admit right here right now. I was a carseat idiot. I made poor choices and thank Heavens my kids weren't hurt because of it. I didn't understand what I do know about why they should face backwards. I totally switched my kids to the front facing at 1 yr old. Even though my daughter was seriously too small for a front facing carseat. You and I as adults are fine to face forward. In a crash we are usually sent into a forward motion until our seat belt or car seat straps stop us abruptly at which point our head continues forward and then back in what we refer to as whiplash. If you've ever been in an accident you know that whiplash sucks!
It's not like that for infants and babies. They are very "top heavy". Their heads are heavier than their bodies, so, in an accident their heads are going to be thrust forward with 4x the force as ours would be. Now imagine them in a forward facing seat. I know right? Not to mention that their spine and spinal cord are different than ours in that the bones of their spinal cord are stretchy and flexible while their spinal cord itself is not. So....they can whiplash forward with little damage to their spine but the spinal cord itself is gonna snap. Paralyzed baby!
I get it. I really do. I know that your babies legs are getting longer and they are kicking your seat. I get that they freak out cause they can't see out like everyone else. I know that the bigger carseat is so weird strapped in backwards. I get all of that. Sometimes it's enough to make a mama down right crazy. BUT....now that you know WHY your baby should be facing backwards until they are 2 or big enough that they outgrow the length and weight recommendations on your carseat, do you still want to turn them front facing? What if it's that one time, that one moment. The person in front of you slams on their brakes and so you do the same. Too little too late and you run into their bumper at a pretty good pace. You have a sore neck and some bruises, but what about your baby? Kinda gives you that sick feeling in your stomach hu? I've got it right now just thinking about how stupid I was. Do everyone a favor. Keep the baby facing backwards. You're the mommy and you make the decisions. But I also know that you love your baby and would do ANYTHING to keep it safe. Just saying...........

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sorry for the double picture use friends. Apparently I need more sleep in my life. That and I am trying to get ready for Girls Night Out and I will be taking a blog time out for a few days for some family stuff. Anyhow, thanks for checking the blog anyhow and sorry about the picture. I'll find some new material and do my posts during a fully awake period. Lol.

It's that time of year. August signals the start to fall. The kids start back to school and whether you have school aged children or not you will undoubtedly be exposed to the same things growing in those petri dishes we call school. Doesn't matter if it's public school, charter school or private school. Whether it's your first baby or your 6th, the risks are the same. Fall starts the beginning of cold and flu season. Which for your newborn can be devastating. How are you going to protect yourself and your family this year? I did the work for you, researched the sites and filled their fact with plenty of my opinion and the following is the result of my efforts.

1. Proper nutrition. Whether it is you are baby or your toddler, make sure everyone is eating healthy choices and drinking plenty of water. Stay away from refined sugars as I personally think they feed those stupid germs allowing them to multiply and take over. If anything they for sure restrict your bodies ability to ramp up the immune system and fight of virus's. Remember, babies immune system is very immature. Something that may be easy for our bodies to fight of could have serious complications if baby gets it.

2. Get your flu shots. Not just you, everyone in the family. I know all the arguments, I work in health care remember? I've heard it all, even from my colleges. You don't believe they work, or the last time you got a flu shot you got sick, or you get the flu anyhow so why bother? That perfect, beautiful baby is why bother! Your baby is depending on you to keep yourself healthy and in turn keep him healthy. You would give your life to protect your children right? So why not a stiff arm for a day to help protect them? While we are on shots.....everyone caring for baby should be current on their Tdap too. It's not the tetanus part as much as the pertussis. Pertussis or whooping cough has been making a come back in recent years. I can think of very little as sad as watching your baby cough until it turns blue and vomits or passes out or worse.

3. Hand washing is always important. Not only for good health but it is also just plain socially unacceptable to not wash your hands. It's super important for anyone who will be holding your newborn, especially during cold and flu season. It's not rude and it shouldn't be uncomfortable. It's your duty as a parent to insist that any visitors wash their hands. The only problem with hand washing is that often people don't do it effectively. If they are washing with soap and water they should do so thoroughly for at least 30 seconds. My favorite is to have hand sanitizer. I mean everywhere. I have it at each of the sinks in my house and I keep a big bottle just inside my front door. While it isn't the greatest decoration, if it's very visible people are more likely to just take a squirt. If you don't want to have to tell people and you think they will miss the hint of a huge bottle right inside your front door then post a sign. Just a little sign reminding visitors to wash their hands hands before holding the baby.

4. Don't take your newborn in public. Don't go to church and to the family holiday get together! It sucks to have to miss it. It's true, but it also sucks to spend a night or more at the hospital with your baby! Once flu season is in full swing, get yourself some indoor activities, find some help or someone to come in and take care of baby while you go out, or wait till your husband can be home with the baby.

5. So what if you do have to go out? You are just not capable of staying home. Covering the car seat with a blanket or those cute carseat canopy's that people have while in stores or public places or at family gatherings will help discourage well meaning admirers from touching your newborn and unknowingly spreading germs. (Just be sure to pull it back when in the car and keep a side or something pulled back when you are out. You don't want baby rebreathing to much of his own carbon dioxide) You should be sure to wash your own hands after touching door knobs and shopping carts and before you touch your baby. Pocket hand sanitizer is great for that.

When you practice these basic illness prevention strategies you can help prevent some serious complications from the cold, flu, or RSV. By making these simple changes you are making your newborn’s health a priority. Good luck and keep it clean. My favorite winter strategies are hand sanitizer, Clorox cleaning wipes and disinfectant spray.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

This is one of the happiest times of your life right? So why so grumpy and where are the tears coming from? Your poor body has been through the ringer. Preganacy and child birth are no walk in the park. Unfortunately for some of us it's not our favorite color but more the way we feel. Blue. The baby blues are a common during the week or two after you deliver the baby. Your mood changes are caused by the sudden shift of hormones. Things like stress, lack of sleep and the new lifestyle you have with the baby at home can add to or make the baby blues worse. Generally the baby blues will go away on it's one without any treatment. Just take time for yourself each day, get some extra help and rotate with your partner or another helper during the night for babies feeding. You need to get some sleep.
If the baby blues don't go away, you may have postpartum depression. After a month or so if you are still or begin to experience anxiety, a disinterest in your baby, you want to sleep often and are generally lacking motivation, or even if you are having trouble sleeping it may be postpartum depression and not just a case of the baby blues. My advice, see your doctor. Talk openly with the Dr. about what you are feeling. We can't control certain aspects of our bodies and this is one of them. Give yourself a break. It's ok to admit what you are experiencing.
I couldn't figure it out after my second baby. I had no problem with connecting with him and never had any thoughts of self harm or harming him or my daughter, but man did I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm pretty sure I nearly bit my husbands head off more that a dozen times a day and I SO didn't want to clean or cook. Well, I still don't want to do that. Lol. I don't even remember now what I went to the Dr. for origionally. All he had to say was, "how are you today?" and I burst into tears. How embarassing! NO! I am so lucky that it happened at the right time and to the right person. For whatever reason I guess I didn't really think about depression. My baby was 6 months old! The good Dr. gave me and antidepressant and within a week I felt like a new woman! With in 2 weeks my house was clean again, by week 3 I could sleep at night between the babies feeding. IT WAS WONDERFUL!
My advice to you is to not ignore the little signs. If you feel "not quite yourself" then you probably aren't. It's ok to seek out advice especially from a Dr. Medication doesn't always have to be a permanent thing. Just use it to get you over the hump. However, DON'T stop taking it without your Dr.'s instructions to do so.
Be happy or get happy. It's so much more fun to enjoy the baby and your new life when you can really ENJOY it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

You want the real deal here right? It's easy to find the articles written by the "experts" about C-section delivery, but how many of those experts are men? Ya, men are wonderful and can make absolutely wonderful Dr.'s (I've never been to a woman Dr. ever, IDK why, I just haven't) but they can't actually have a baby so they can't actually speak from their experience. Right?

So what? You didn't or aren't delivering vaginally. (Did you like my us of proper terms just now?) If you are like a growing percentage of us out there you just had or are going to have a C-section to deliver your baby. Didn't know that by entering the world of motherhood you were also going to be asked to have major abdominal surgery too. Hu? So, here it is, one of the many selfless decisions you will make on the behalf of that beautiful baby. C-sections are preformed because they are necessary. There is usually to much risk to the baby to deliver vaginally or there is something that makes it unsafe for the mom. You guessed it, unsafe for mom = unsafe for baby. See? Selfless. You are a good woman and a good mama.

Whether it's your first C-section or you've done this many times before it can totally be scary. I'm just gonna give you the "real deal" on having surgery to have a baby. You can look up all the medical stuff yourself but lets be honest, you came here cause you want to know from someone who has been there done that, what you are really getting into. Alright, well, IT HURTS! Not always just after surgery. I was the lucky winner for serious pain and discomfort during surgery. With my first baby I swore they gave me sugar water instead of medicine to make me numb. I didn't feel the actual cutting but holy crap the pressure and tugging sucked. I totally thought I was gonna barf. Good news for you is that it last only minutes vs the hours some women spend pushing and.....modern medicine is our friend. Ask for anti-nausea medicine. When they take you back for surgery, no matter if it's done emergent or scheduled they usually (again, things could be different based on different Dr.'s and different hospitals) give you medicine for pain, which can last for the 1st 24 hours, but for me, it DIDN'T, and they will give you something for nausea and possibly something for itching. The pain medicine they give you that is supposed to work for 24 hours can also make you itch. If you are like me you get all of the above. So what I learned with my second C-section was to tell them right up front, I told the anesthesiologist 1. I barf, give me the good nausea stuff, not the first choice but the GOOD choice for when the first choice doesn't work. 2. I get the chatters. My teeth chatter uncontrollably and it sucks! My favorite anesthesiologist gave me like 2 or 3 bags of WARMED fluid before my surgery with my son and it made a world of difference. 3. The sweet 24 hr pain medicine, doesn't work like that for me. After I start to feel the slightest bit of pain I ask for more pain medicine. There ya go, there are my pre and immediately post surgery suggestions. Just lay down and enjoy the ride. You will quickly be a the proud parent of a new baby girl, or boy. :)

So now what, we all survived surgery and surgery sucks, plus now you want me to take care of this new little human? Start now ladies, ask for help. Plan for help. Let the nursing staff be your help or your husband or both. You want someone that won't be more of a burden to deal with. Most things revolving around the baby will be the same. You are expected to feed the baby, change the baby, snuggle it, love it. You know? The fun part. :)
Along with the fun part you are also being thrown into the motherhood world of multitasking. You need to care for baby and focus on YOURSELF. Most important, believe it or not. Get up and walk. Just take a few steps. Walk from the bed to the bathroom. Anything. If your nausea is under control and you have pain meds on board (which you better cause I just told you what to ask for) then get the nurses help. Only with the nurses help, and stand beside your bed. Remember to use your arms and legs to get up. You don't realize how often you use your tummy muscles until those muscles have been cut in half to deliver a baby. Lol. Resist the natural temptation to bend over. STAND UP STRAIGHT. Focus on a goal in front of you and go! Take baby steps if you must but getting moving is the best way to start to recover. Same goes when you get home. I'm not talking about the 5k you walked each morning before you got pregnant. I talking about getting off the couch and going to get your own drink. Sitting at the table with the family for dinner. The small easy movements.
Mom multi-tasking moment #2 Feeding- feed yourself and feed your baby. After the first day you and baby will both start to get/feel hungry. Day one, take an easy, stick to soups and pudding and juice. The boring stuff. For baby, she will probably be tired and you will have to wake her up to eat. There will be longer breaks between her feedings. Day 2, not so much. That sweet bundle is gonna want to eat every freaking 2-3 hrs if its breastfed and you are lucky and probably every 3-4 if you are feeding it a bottle and not over feeding it at each feeding. Remember, babies like to suck. it's comforting to them, so they will "eat" way more than they need to. Either leaving you with sore nipples or them with a huge tummy full of formula to spit up. I've said it before, for the heavy sucker, binki's are our friends. As for baby, if you are breastfeeding continue to feed on demand or every 3 hours, whichever comes first. Bottle feeding, every 3-4 hours and if baby starts to wake up after an hour to eat again you are probably safe to let it eat a little more than what you were originally feeding it. If it spits it up, you know you gave to much. Remember that whether breastfed or bottle fed babies do cry for reasons other than hunger. Make sure you are not just shoving food in it's mouth every time it cries.
So you done it. You've mastered multi-tasking at the hospital. Now they are gonna send you home and you have to learn to do it all over again! Lol. It's home. It's comfortable and welcoming and that's how you should feel. This is where you need help. If you don't have family or friends that can come help then hire someone. ( Time 4 Me, is very reasonable) The first week should be as relaxing as you can make it. No cleaning and vacuuming for you. No standing for long periods doing dishes and cooking. This next week should be about recovery and rest. Spend time with your baby just snuggling or with your other children watching movies and reading books while baby sleeps. Frankly, all of the above sounds good to me. Take an easy on the food you eat, your bowels take like what seems forever to wake up after surgery and although my suggestion is to STAY ON TOP OF YOUR PAIN MEDS those pain meds have a tendency to slow down your tummy and cause some constipation. You didn't realize it was gonna be this fun hu? Take an over the counter stool softener, like Colace, regularly. It doesn't "make" you go but it will soften that first movement. You want soft. Trust me!
Week 2 and 3 you will start to feel better. You can start to reclaim your "normal" life in small pieces. Continue on something for pain. You may not need the narcotics except at night but you should have something on board. If you don't take meds for pain, you will feel pain. Most of us when we are sick or in pain we don't move around as much. You need to keep moving so keep taking something. Even if all you need to feel comfortable is Tylenol. Continue the stool softener. I like it until the end of week 3. Just in case. I don't want no freakin pepple poop to push. Lol. TMI? Just remember not to do it all. Even if you don't need help everyday you should probably have someone come a few times even if it's only for a few hours at a time. Have them tidy up while you nap or watch baby while you shower. It's the relaxation time that is so important.
The rest of your recovery is what you make of it. I was feeling pretty normal by week 3. I did my own tidying up. We still ordered out dinner a couple of times a week and we had simple meals the other days. I had help with vacuuming and bathroom cleaning. Bending over and picking up all the toys and stuff were the times that I "over did it". It was so nice to have my mom's help. She came and stayed with me for weeks 2 and 3. By the end of week 3 my husband and I were even able to get some alone time to go out to dinner without the children. It was awesome.

There ya have it my friends. Don't be afraid to wear your pajama pants all day, leave your hair pulled back and the toys on the floor. BUT, make time to shower and nap everyday. Get help! If you don't have someone to help it will be well worth your efforts to save up and pay someone to help. Good luck and as always, take time to smell the baby lotion!