Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Shed Pal Sucks

--Some thing that looks like a torture device that can make awesome spaghetti

--A kitchen that can clean itself. (Well. I haven’t seen this yet. But I’d like one.)

My husband and I were intrigued by something called a Shed Pal.

Confused? (I swear, it’s not a sex toy. I posted this picture on Facebook and people were like, “Um, why are you sharing a photo of your private toys?”)

A Shed Pal is supposed to help clean up the fur your pet sheds. The commercial (I'll share the link here and you'll see how misleading it is) shows the thing suctioning up fur effortlessly while the animal sits there with a baffled what-the-hell is going on expression. (I’d wonder the same. Especially if I was sitting there minding my own business and suddenly there’s a camera in my face and some chick is suctioning up my hair. It’s like, excuse me, shouldn’t we exchange numbers first?)

Anyway.

Tom and I found the Shed Pal at Wal-Mart. We plunked down 19.95 and eagerly took it home to try on our cat Max. Who sheds a lot. And by a lot I mean our brown couch will turn orange after he sits down on it for awhile.

So we find Max and he’s in the middle of giving himself a bath. He sees Tom taking the Shed Pal out of its packaging and pauses mid-lick. He gives us a look like, “WTF?”

“We’re going to vacuum up your fur,” Tom told him. And honestly, that statement would have scared me, too. That’s like someone saying, “Hey. I’m going to vacuum your leg hair.” Or, “It’s time to have a bikini wax.”

Max, because he’s a cat, just blinked at us as Tom started brushing his fur to loosen it. He likes this. His eyes started to close in ecstasy and he got the same expression I get whenever I consume chocolate. Mmm, chocolate. You know what sounds good? A Boston Cream donut from Dunkin Donuts.

But back to the story.

After Max’s fur was brushed Tom brought over the Shed Pal. He switched it on and this small whirling sound filled the room. Actually, it didn’t even fill the room. Maybe a couple of inches of it. And then Tom brought the thing towards Max because it’s supposed to vacuum all the loose fur so it doesn’t wind up on your furniture, floors, you, and other places where cat fur should not be.

Well.

I guess Shed Pal forgot the promises that it had on the commercial because the suction SUCKED. Or, in this case, it didn’t suck. It had the tiniest suction known to man and struggled to inhale an itty bitty piece of Max’s fur. For awhile it spun around and around on the opening before finally entering the chamber. It took about five minutes for it to do so. It didn't groom at all.

At this point Tom was crushed because the commercial LIED to him. (He was seriously excited about the Shed Pal. He was like, “Wow, neat, now we won’t have to deal with Max’s fur everywhere!” And at that moment, he realized, crap, we WILL have to deal with Max’s fur everywhere.”)

So in the end, we made a vow to never purchase those Made for TV things ever again.

Unless it’s very cool, like a gun that shoots piranhas. (That’s from Tom. And yes, that gun was in Despicable Me and Tom thinks it’s one of the coolest things EVER..)

Or if it’s something that can shut the children up for an hour so we can have a conversation without being interrupted. (Yes. I get there is something called a television but that doesn’t always work. Maybe something like a virtual Mary Poppins will be invented and Mary will be like, “Feed the birds, lalala, and a spoon full of sugar..” I’d buy that.)

25 comments:

I feel your pain! I bought my husband the LARGE Sobakawa pillow. It promised to never lose it's shape, to ALWAYS stay cool, support your head/neck, blah, blah, blah.... It NEVER stays cool, forever sinks down and loses it's shape which means your head/neck is NOT supported. it is a pretty good snuggle pillow though. I have to have something to lay my arm over... so it didn't go to waste, but still...

Does it have batteries or something that maybe just need to be replaced? My mom is a big made-for-TV shopper. I've bought that brownie thing for my mom because she wanted it (the brownies really do come out in perfect little squares) and last year for Christmas, she bought The Pasta Boat. It's supposed to make life easier by cooking your pasta in the microwave. But it takes 19 minutes to do so. And it barely fits in my microwave. I'd rather just cook my pasta on the stove.

I stopped buying products labeled AS SEEN ON TV because they were so horrible. I work in advertising and have to clear my commercials through the networks before they air and I still never understood how advertisers pushing these AS SEEN ON TV products get away with it. I think I bought the PediEgg or something to help keep my feet feeling fresh and smooth. What a waste.

The only thing I ever bought was the Snuggie & I like it even though people ALWAYS make fun of me! Hey, I like reading and being under a blanket! But seriously, this might sound weird, but try vacuuming him with the nozzle of your normal vacuum... we did it on my mom's hairy husky once before we brushed her and it really helped! lolXoXo

The Sew Easy was a complete flop. The Magic Bullet, however, is a rock star! The rounded bottom really Is the secret to how well it works. Compared side by side with a generic counterpart, there really is no comparison. The generic leaves chunks of smoothy powder and stuff stuck to the sides. The Magic Bullet perfectly blends my shakes. It has its pitfalls though too. Add ice and you'll always wind up with a few big chunks. Shredding chicken also always seems to leave a few big hunks behind, but still better than what I would wind up with by hand for quesadillas.

Temperpedic mattress and pillows, best purchases I've ever made in my life.

We bought that battery operated thing for grinding down your pet's claws (also not a sex toy, though it sorta looks like it could be one). We have no idea if it works or not because our dogs wouldn't let us within 3 miles of them with the thing turned on.

but really.. what i CANNOT believe is that max let ya'll put this one him.. if i tried this with bella.. oh boy! she would have hid for a week and been really pissed.. she probably would have scratched me in the middle of the night.. lol

Oh, honey. I felt the same way after I bought the Space Bags... Promised to let me suck all the air out of a plastic bag filled with dozens of blankets down to an airless bag I could shove under my bed.

Sorry it sucked so poorly! If you're constantly dealing with hair, there's nothing better on this planet than a Furminator. I swear by mine, and I've loaned it to multiple friends and family members who are skeptical of its abilities. It's the best grooming brush in the world. It gets so much hair off my dogs and cats that after I've brushed them thoroughly, I don't have to vacuum for weeks. This is seriously saying something since I normally sweep every morning and vacuum every evening and STILL have dust bunnies running around.

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LOL! I can imagine Tom's disappointment.. Jerk Face gets the same way! :)We have the furminator.. it's okay. We still have cat fur everywhere! My sister buys everything! She bought these weird automatic scissor things.. Her poor cat! They said it took 20 minutes to cut a chunk of fur about the size of a quarter!!!I just think that if you have a furry pet, you're just going to have fur in your house..