Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The fans are annoying. The dissers are arguably more annoying. Let me be the 3rd gender of annoyance and rant about these lover and haters.

Chances are you have not been able to escape the recent buzz surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey. And if you have taken notice, I'm sure you will have found that the buzz is quite polarized. Half are head-over-heels for "Mr. Grey", unable to keep it a secret that they wish to be his "sub", and the other half are threatening your morality, love life, and feminism for going to see the movie.

Now before I begin my criticism, I'd like to offer why my opinion - in my opinion - is worth more than most that's out there. My credibility, straight up: I've read the first two books and seen the movie. In addition, as Fifty Shades is a confirmed "Twilight fan fiction", I have read all the Twilight books, (and I think I've seen all the Twilight movies, but this particular information is irrelevant to my evaluation.)

My credibility part 2: I am neither a big fan nor hater of Fifty Shades of Grey. The reason I was compelled to pick up the book was to develop a fair opinion on the series because I did not want to blindly jump on the "THIS IS TRASH" bandwagon. Even with something as insignificant as a "Twilight fan fiction", that's ignorant.

Alright then, let's start with the haters, since I find them more annoying. A lot of the hate towards Fifty Shades of Grey revolves around the claim that the story glorifies a real sexual culture known as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism), but paints this culture in absolute inaccuracy that what it in fact ends up glorifying is rape. Cool, nicely said. And just as a clarification, this comes from people who are not against BDSM. But here's the thing about this argument anyway: I can tell that the owner of this opinion has not taken the time to read the book or books carefully. As a matter of fact, I think even observant and objective only-the-movie watchers wouldn't come to this conclusion. Why? Because [**SPOILER**] the main female character walks out after she asks Grey, and Grey fully compiles, to clearly explain what kind of sexual relationship he is asking for. [**END SPOILER**] This happens in both the movie and the book. Therefore, that "lack of consent" argument doesn't stand. If anything, Anastasia (the main female character), demonstrates incredible strength against an extremely intimidating man who is in a much higher position than she. That's a yay for feminism right there. Just a tip - especially for people who have read the first book and still believe that rape is being promoted - read the second book. Apart from the excessive sex, there's legitimate content to be taken into consideration about Grey's depravity.

Continuing on, what weakens the argument of dissers even more is when they go so far as to change facts and threaten the innocently curious just to stop us from hitting the box office and spending our money. I've seen posts saying that "even the actors and the director regret making the film". I mean this can easily happen in the future when the actors can no longer be known as anyone but Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, a fate that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson unfortunately suffered for their roles in Twilight, but that is NOT NOW. Right now, the movie is breaking records at the box office, bringing the cast and crew immense success, and they are still in the middle of promoting the film. No way is Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan out there right now in interviews saying that they have deep regrets making the film and wish they weren't a part of the production. In fact, the truth is quite the opposite. The actors openly say that they have "no shame" for the movie. So, two things I want anybody who has spread inaccurate information about the actor's stance on their contribution to the movie: 1) show me your sources. 2) read this: "Dakota Johnson has 'no shame' about 'Fifty Shades'" (USA Today) for starters.

Now about the threats. This one's easy for me. Watching Fifty Shades during the romance season kill my relationship? Nope. Nothing has changed. We actually laughed several times at Anastasia's delightful character. Here's something I really want to express: as Anastasia is supposed to be a version of Bella Swan from Twilight, she's actually so much more relatable and lovable. Even when I first read Twilight in middle school and admittedly enjoyed it for a while, I had always hated Bella's character. You can't blame Kristen Stewart for being painfully awkward and dull in the Twilight films, her character was WRITTEN that way. But with Fifty Shades, Anastasia, albeit her lame penchant for the phrase "holy cow", is lovable and absolutely realistic. And like Kristen Stewart, Dakota Johnson played the character written for her very accurately on the screen. #dontshootthemessenger

But in relations to the threats, I can also argue against the lovers of Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie wasn't even that provocative. Considering that the book is classified as erotica, a film transcription of it should be porn. I'm not saying I hated the movie because it fell short of being porn. NO. What I'm saying is that Fifty Shades of Grey still came across as a blockbuster, just the sex in it was a little more frequent and niche than usual, SO why are you getting your panties all twisted over it? Have you never seen Hollywood movies before? Moreover, the biggest bother I had about movie was Jamie Dornan. Sorry darling, but you are not a convincing Grey. I hate to nit-pick accents, but Grey's gotta be American. That's his background, his character, and it does contributes to the aggressive, animalistic side of Grey. I couldn't believe in Dornan's American accent, so I also struggled to believe in his desperation for Anastasia. Johnson, on the other hand, was a stellar Miss Steele.

On a final note, obsessing over Fifty Shades and Mr. Grey all the time is unproductive and unattractive. Remember, fans, Mr. Grey isn't into the girls who keep talking about him. He likes that quieter one who can deny him. Hint hint.

Monday, February 9, 2015

When I was little, "basic" meant something along the lines of fundamental, essential, the bare necessities - a neutral word, void of connotation. But nowadays, "basic" has taken on a new meaning with heavy underlying implications, which a lot of you seem to not get. Because when I say "you are basic", you should be searching hard for a comeback.
So I write this blog, not because I've just discovered the word - it's been around for a good 1-2 years already - but because of two reasons. 1) I'm an educator at heart. And 2) breaking down this term was a worthwhile mental exercise for me. Because as easy as it is to find a perfect human example of "basic" in real life, it is actually difficult to explain such individuals in words to someone who is unfamiliar with the term. They're just, you know, BASIC. You feel me?? The best concise definition I can offer for the term (if you don't have time for the detailed one that follows) relies on a popular phrase you've probably heard from your parents or girlfriend/boyfriend one time or another - "you're one in a million." Well, being basic simply means being a part of the 999,999 in a million.
But if this is still not enough for you and are willing to stay on with me, my full definition is as follows:

Basic,often used in conjunction with "bitch", as in "basic bitch", describes an individual who...

1. Thinks that "coffee" is sugar, spice, and everything nice blended like a DQ blizzard, only more expensive than a DQ Blizzard because it's in a cup labelled "Starbucks". This is also why they think "coffee" is fattening.2. Uses the words "bae" and "bestie" in reference to lovers/boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/crushes/partners/simply attractive people andbest friends, respectively.3. "Feels loved" with their "bae" on Facebook more than once a month.Degree of basic depends on how much more than once a month.E.g. everyday = very basic; twice a month = a little basic. 4. [whose] "besties" are also basic. 5. [whose] favorite movie is The Fault in Our Stars.6. Posts unnecessary selfies with irrelevant and hackneyed motivational quotesBut is not able to quote quotes in real-life situations.7. Says "insta" anything. Yes, even on Instagram, this is considered basic.8. Quotes Taylor Swift lyricsOn their unnecessary selfie, obviously. 9. Owns a selfie stick. 10. Is oblivious to the term basic.