Topic:
Any Gay People Here?

Any Gay People Here?

Any Gay People Here?

I have a theory that everyone's bi underneath. That people like to put artificial boundaries on themselves, but in an environment where there's no stigma whatsoever, people will just have sex with whomever. That said, stigma is powerful. I've had several opportunities to hook up with other guys, and every time fear and awkwardness has stood in my way. But hey; maybe next time.

Any Gay People Here?

I wouldn't say everyone is bi... Then it only takes the odd exception to disprove your theory :-)

While I have no desire to be with a woman, I wouldn't rule it out alltogether though. Never say never. The absolutely perfect match could come along and just happen to be a girl... Who knows?! That still doesn't make me (identify myself as) bi. If and when it happens I'll just have to revise that.

Ideally we wouldn't have to use labels...but there 'd still be people who would prefer the one sex over the other without any pressing desire to have sex with 'whomever'.

For me sex is not just about the hooking up bit, but even moreso about longing, feeling, trust and compatibility.

Any Gay People Here?

That's exactly the point. Feelings of longing, trust, compatibility, and intimacy are feelings each of us feels for other people regardless of gender. In many ways, I feel the same sensations of romance with my best (male) friends as I do for my romantic partners. What separates my sexual interests from the non-sexual (fun fact: platonic actually means sexual. The more you know) is the sense of physical desire. In other words, sex seems to be the only real barrier for people, intimacy-wise.

I like labels when labels are useful. ENTP is a label, and it works well because type is well defined and static. But sexual preference is a nebulous and arbitrary concept, and the use of labels only protracts a process that is plenty pleonastic already. For comparison, consider that I'm date people of certain types rather than others. I have a strong preference for Ni doms, and I tend not to have romantic chemistry with ESFPs. But I wouldn't label myself "Ni-oriented" and declare that romantic feelings for an ESFP are fundamentally contrary to my identity. And this is what I see all the time with labels of gay and straight.