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Thursday, 8 April 2010Thursday, 8 April 2010

Taking Our Relationships to Court

All too often we leave relationships never quite knowing what went wrong even when there are flagrant acts of disrespect such as cheating, forgotten birthdays, and loss of interest; the fact is you never understand why did it get to that point? When did we change?

That’s why I believe we should have relationship court, a place where both sides are sworn under oath to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In this court, both sides will get to explain what happened in the relationship and what exactly triggered the change. The point of this would be to get an honest testimony from both parties that would permit each of them to reconcile or move on without always asking, “What went wrong?”

I think that all too often what keeps us from recovering is that we never get the full story. Break-ups and problematic relationships are always littered with lies to “protect” their partner or rather “protect” themselves from being the bad guy, so we never get the full story and we always have the sneaking suspicion that there is something more, and that’s when relationship court comes in. It would be more of a hearing, no jury, just a judge. Both parties would have the opportunity to present their case and then they would bring up witnesses, which would consist of family and friends. Then there would be a cross examination and then a testimony from the exes. The judge would then put all the pieces together, deliver a judgment on what exactly happened, and each person will leave the courtroom with a better understanding of what went wrong.

I know that relationships occur between two people and no one can ever really understand what goes on in them, but I think that sometimes relationships need a third-party intervention. Someone that will hear both sides and let each person know what they did wrong because I believe that we leave relationships thinking that we did nothing wrong and that’s it’s all the man’s fault (which it usually is, just kidding), but men also need to hear that they messed up. Men don’t talk about their feelings and their boy’s will never let them know that he is stupid for hurting a woman.

What I am proposing is not relationship advice, but a rap sheet with factual evidence and analysis of each person’s part in destroying the relationship. Relationship court is not realistic unless we count divorce, but what I do think we can do is be honest and productive to our friends and loved ones. Being honest isn’t saying, “You’re too good for him, leave him” or “Man just get it and leave it,” it’s telling your friends that the way they are acting within their relationship is stupid. Therefore, I encourage everyone to hold your friends to a standard and let them know how and when they screwed up, and encourage him/her to tell their ex, how he/she messed up because this will prevent a lot of confusion and distress.

Definitely, I will never understand why people lie so much especially when their partner only wants the truth. It hurts more to be lied to and that not only you’ve been lied to but that the truth is pretty awful, but I guess we just have to make sure that we don’t associate with people like that.