Recipe Corner

Take 100g of mushrooms, wash
thoroughly to remove any remnants of manure and chop
finely, together with one large onion grown in synthetic
fertiliser and sprayed with pesticide.

Fry with
approximately two tablespoons of irradiated vegetable oil
until soft.

Next add 500g of minced beef from cattle fed
on a diet of rotten vegetables, minced sheep and each
other (this may also contain quantities of bone, slurry
and faecal material, to taste).

Continue to fry for a
further five minutes then add a tin of genetically
re-engineered tomatoes containing traces of mercury.

Finally, open a 400g tin of kidney beans soaked in
phosphates and various industrial by-products. Add this
to the mixture and boil, being careful to pick out any
insect bodies or eggs as they rise to the top.