Driving to the office this morning on the M4, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 85 MPH per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!!!
It scared me (I'm a man) so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs,splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and
DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!!!!!!!