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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Hear Me Roar

[Sarah nervously walks over to the podium, clears her throat and begins addressing the blogosphere audience.]

When I began this blog over a year ago, I had no idea how much it would spill over into all facets of my life.

I simply began it with the intention of (1) recording the precious moments and milestones of the boyz, since I suck at both scrapbooking and keeping baby books (I've tried both), and (2) efficiently keeping in touch with family and long-distance friends without having to type the same variation of e-mail ad nauseum. ("Today Eldest started kindergarten!" "Middle is potty-trained!" "Baby is walking!") You get my point.

The Girls tease me because I'm much wittier on the page than I am in person. I write exactly how and what I think, but this doesn't always carry over into my actual persona. That is, I think and write MUCH more sarcastically than I actually come across. Trust me, this is a good thing. Otherwise I would offend people. All the time. And besides, it isn't politically correct to berate a perfect stranger for pushing an already lit elevator button. So instead I blog about it.

Blogging, for me, has evolved into so much more. You see, at almost 35 years old, I've found my niche. I have no rhythm (think Elaine on Seinfeld). I'm not musical (think bad American Idol auditions). I'm not artsy. I'm not creative. What I am though, is a writer. A pretty good one.

1. Grammar! Spelling! Punctuation! These tools are your friends, people. Use them. Use them wisely. Use them properly. My eyes start to bleed when I read:

"Its cold outside so I grab the cat by it's collar."

"We saw a toy and now their begging for it."

Quick primer: IT'S=It is; THEY'RE=They are

Great, now I'm all fired up because you know what else?

Paragraph spacing. Use it. One big block of a blog entry isn't appealing to the eyes. Break it up.

(I fully realize that I missed my calling as a high school English teacher.)

2. A powerful blog is one that makes it easy for the reader to identify with. Descriptive phrases. Raw emotion. You read this type of blog and feel as if you're there. So many of the women on my blogroll have this gift, and that's why I always go back, eager for more.

[Cue applause as Sarah attempts to heft the big pink lion award over her head in a sign of victory, realizes she can't because she's sadly out of shape, and skitters offstage.]

[Cue announcer's deep voice: Awards are distributed to “those people who have blogs we love, can’t live without, where the writing is good and powerful.” Award-winners then post their award, select five writers of their own who they think fit the criteria, and also give three ‘pointers’ about what they think makes writing good and powerful.]

8 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Sniff, sniff--thank you for the shout out. Wait--do they do "shout outs" at award ceremonies or is that just radio? Seriously thank you! You deserve the award--I love your blog, your caustic wit and humorous take on life and motherhood. And I LOVE LOVE your missive on grammar. I used to be an English teacher. My pet peeve is people who don't capitalize in emails or on blogs--you're not e.e. cummings people!

I just wrote the funniest comment I've ever written. And Blogger ate it so now I'm sulking and contemplating trying to rewrite it.

But despite my sulky mood, I still must tell you how proud I am of you and how truly honored I feel that you even READ my work.

I'm not going to write the whole thing about "foundering" vs. "floundering" and how all my pet peeves have now become standard usage in the English language. And I'm not going to expound on my mission to bring the adverb back to Texas...where street signs say things like, "Drive Friendly." I'm crabby now.

But still really thrilled to be mentioned and thrilled that you were honored!