Not the best list. To start with, initiating a conversation about sex (kinky sex) would be a big deal. How many non-kinky women are going to jump right in that way? Not many.

Leave some hints, without being too subtle. But, only IF this is a guy you can really trust to try something kinky with. Women starting out as submissive need to educate themselves about kinks, fetishes and BDSM before letting him lead you blindly. A safe word is not enough. By the time things get to needing a safe word it’s already gone too far. Start slow is the best advice in this list. The second best is to have a talk afterwards. Even if you feel silly or shy, especially if you feel upset, talk about it within the hour. Talk about it again later when your feelings have sorted themselves out a bit. Talk again before you try anything else.

Be creative, in the way of taking things slow. Adapt the stuff you have seen in movies, magazines, online into something mild and saner. No matter how into it you think you are (or he says he is) take time to find out how you really feel when you are actually in the situation. It’s all a lot different when it’s real. Plus, you have to live with it, have memories of it.

For submissive women – don’t assume anyone claiming to be a dominant actually knows what they are doing. Don’t trust someone too easily. Submission is giving up control but not being a door mat and having no power or voice at all.

For dominant women – don’t be led into doing what he wants. Discover what you want and do things your own way. Domming can get very boring if you really aren’t interested in what you’re doing.

Keep each other safe along the way. Communicate with each other and find kinky communities locally and/ or online to get real advice from.