Lots Of Peace, Not Much War In Bucs' Pick

NFL Draft

TAMPA -- At High Noon, Houston prepared to take David Carr and Napoleon prepared to take Vienna. We braced ourselves for the NFL draft version of a Russian winter.

The Bucs didn't have a pick until the third round. We knew it would be a long day. Very long.

Longer than . . . War and Peace?

That's the standard reference when something is so long that even Mel Kiper Jr. runs out of things to say about it. Saturday presented a rare scientific opportunity. Would it actually take the Bucs longer to make a pick than it would to read War and Peace?

The literary classic is thicker than the Manhattan phone book. Only it's not as entertaining unless you like plowing through 1,455 pages (of very small print) about 1805 Russian society, military maneuvers and a bunch of guys named Vladimir, Boris and Dmitri.

As demanding as such reading would be for a sports writer, it couldn't be more tedious than tracking the Bucs draft. That's not to say there wouldn't be any talent left at No. 86. It's just the high price the Bucs paid Oakland for Jon Gruden needed to be put in terms the common man from Prussia could relate to.

Tolstoy was on the clock at 12:03 p.m., about the time Kiper reported that "the chips are on the line." Actually, they were on a table next to some dip at the back of the Bucs' locker room.

It's annually converted into the media center, which allows reporters endless hours of pondering vital Bucs draft-day questions. For instance: When is lunch? Who is Booker Reese? And what is that stuffed boar's head doing on top of Warren Sapp's locker?

Just which is bigger? Warren Sapp or War and Peace? It's all a blur now, so I must refer to my notes.

1:07 -- Mike Alstott comes in for a news conference carrying his 5-week-old daughter. You pray he doesn't mistake her for a football and fumble.