ASK PLACEBO (4)

The final part of your questions putting Placebo through their paces...

The final day of Placebo‘s rap session with questions from NME readers.

Where did you get the dress that you were wearing at London Brixton Academy? (David Sutton, London)

Brian: “It’s a John Richmond. And please don’t go out and by it.”

What’s the most money you’ve paid for an item of clothing? (Tracie Sherlock/Emma Hayes, Yarm)

Stefan: “About 250 quid. At Alexander McQueen.”

Brian: “Mine was a Moschino dress.”

Steve: “About 400 pounds. I had a pinstripe suit made to measure.”

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Why do you think Velvet Goldmine was such a lot of self-indulgent bollocks? (Andrew Dalton, Dublin)

Brian: “Because you obviously didn’t understand it. It’s a great , it’s a feast of colour and music.”

Stefan: “And it has the most beautiful scene of two men kissing, ever.”

What’s the strangest thing you’ve been given by a fan? (Trevor Waker, Ontario, Canada)

Brian: “We’ve just been given a tape by some fans. These two s were waiting outside, and they’re playing ‘I Know’ off the first album really badly and they’ve changed the words to how much they want to have intimate knowledge of our… er, privates. It’s not very musical, but it is hilarious.

“Another time, I got given a photograph of this girl with a black eye with ‘Kill/ /Die’ written on it, which I carry with me everywhere, because it’s the most intense thing I’ve been given.”

Will you ever grow facial hair? (Nano Proenca, Portugal)

Brian: “Stef, you used to have interesting facial hair: that Prince beard kind of thing. You looked very suave. Facial hair I don’t think is my thing, really. I’m a pretty clean-shaven kind of guy. It doesn’t suit me.”

Which do you prefer? EMBRACE or a custard pie in the face? (Ollie, Guildford)

Brian: “Sorry. It’s going to have to be the custard pie.”

Are you happy? (Iced Gem, Bristol)

Steve: “Yes. I’m fit, and well, and playing like a demon.”

Brian: “I’m relatively content. It’s a few hundred miles away from happy. I would like to have a meaningful relationship with somebody that I cared about. Loneliness is quite debilitating.”

Do you think your reputation as the filthiest band in Britain will do you any harm in the future? (Simon Mullins, Sheffield)

Brian: “Only if we start getting probe-searched at customs. It’s all complete , but it’s all part of the myth.”

Brian: “Freedom. I actually tried to beat up our crew the other day. The bus ran out of gas, and I lost it for a while. I didn’t get on very well, they’re huge.”

When you wear a dress onstage do you wear knickers, or plain old boxer shorts? (Karen, Telford)

Brian: “Oh, knickers. Lacy ones.”

Why do I have to live? (Joey Lau, Police Married Quarters, Hong Kong)

Brian: “Because there’s nothing else to do.”

Stefan: “The grass is always greener somewhere else. But you have to be here to know that. Make sense?”

How do you amuse yourselves on the tourbus? (David Sutton, London)

Brian: “Watch South Park. Also, we have a new court jester, our merchandising guy who amuses us for hours by talking complete bollocks over the intercom. It’s bollocks, but it’s the funniest bollocks you’ll ever hear.”

If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? (Bec, Chelmsford)

Brian: “Whatever you do, don’t sleep with her.”

Good advice, indeed. As a group of giggling girls gather around Brian for some perfectly accented words of wisdom, they cannot know that their questions have already been answered, and that the trail of blood and spunk does not lead to oblivion. It leads, in fact, to the palace of wisdom. Sated and content, NME adjusts its hose and leaves, resolving to lead a shallower and more life.