Marriage Gifts To My Son

By the bohemian, on September 17th, 2010

At the end of the year, my son is getting married. Where have all of the in between years gone? How is it I woke up one day and realized that a quarter of a century had gone by with only memories of the bygone days? How is it that I arrived at this moment in time and breathed in deeply, thinking of all that has been and all that I want for the future and realized that yes, I am wiser now, just like I always heard and yes, youth is wasted on the young and yes, life does go on.

My son is a gem. He has a wonderful, compassionate heart and is one of those special people you meet who touch you deeply and you know without a doubt that there is true goodness is every fiber of his being. He is strong and loyal and courageous but mainly he is a completely honorable man.

As his special day draws closer, I find myself thinking of all of the gifts I’d like to give him and his future bride. These gifts aren’t possessions that will fade away but gifts that will endure. If I could, I’d shower them in all of these gifts because I believe that theirs is a love that will stand the test of time.

The first gift I would give them would be patience. With patience comes an outlook on life that is much slower paced than the average “rush around” that most people experience. It gives us a chance to look at the whole picture without rushing our choices and gives us the opportunity to think through before we leap. The old adage “look before you leap” is a great neutralizer in marriage. It enables one to logically, rather than emotionally, weigh the pros and cons of what our life choices are to be and our reactions to those choices.

“Be as a flower, content to be, to grow
In sweetness day by day; content to know
The hidden blessing in the seeming curse;
A child of Love, unargumentative;
Content to be and know ”as thou dost live”
The simple secret of the Universe.”

~James Allen

The next gift I would give would be gratitude. Gratitude is a state of mind as well as a feeling of thankfullness. When life is lived with gratitude for what we have it brings about a since of contentment and appreciation.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” -Cicero, Ancient Roman Statesman and Philosopher.“Gratitude is more than saying ‘Thank You’; it is living in a state of thankfulness. It is truly appreciating the people, experiences, blessings and circumstances that create an existence unique to you. Gratitude is a state of being, which when cultivated properly projects itself like beams of sunlight radiating from an individual out unto the world. It is not a reflective force, bur rather it generates its own source of energy from within. It is the internal combustion engine that powers our desire to help one another and spread the seeds of virtue upon the common ground of human existence. Without gratitude, the seeds are never sown, and in their place the weeds of selfishness and self-pity are allowed take root. Being grateful for all that is good in your life ensures that you will reap the benefits of a bountiful harvest. To be known as a gracious person is better than being respected as a powerful person because it is better to be loved by many than revered by few. Gratitude, as Cicero says, is the parent of all other virtues.” ~ Jeremy Neal Biser

Next would have to be laughter. With the gift of laughter comes longer life, less stress and general enjoyment of the day to day. What fun…..

My next gift for my son and future daughter-in-law would be serenity. A serene person is a comfort to all he is around.

“Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful gems of wisdom…. The strong, calm person is always loved and revered.

They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm.

That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold.

How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life – a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!”

~ James Allen

The last and most important gift that I would wish for them both would be love. With love all things are possible.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13

Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.