Answers

AMAZING NEW "SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTER"
APPARENTLY NOT CHECKED FOR ACRONYM

Honestly, We're Not Making This SHT Up

Manchester, N.H (SatireWire.com) — After a year-long buildup
during which it was known as the mysterious "Ginger" or "IT," the
revolutionary, scooter-like "Segway Human Transporter" was unveiled
Monday without first being checked for its potential acronym.

As a result, the media was full of SHT stories, while investors on
Wall Street were hoping inventor Dean Kamen would take his cool SHT
public so they could get a piece of SHT.

Word about the electric-powered transportation machine was leaked
last year, but it took more than 10 years for Kamen and his team to
get their SHT together. When the device was introduced Monday on
ABC's Good Morning America, riders who took an initial SHT spin were
visibly impressed.

"Boy, I hope no one's looking because I really want to take a SHT
right now!" joshed good-natured co-host Charles Gibson.

Gibson will have to wait, however. The company is currently producing
only a big SHT for commercial use, and won't make a little SHT for
consumers until the 2002 holiday season, said Kamen.

At $3,000 each, however, the consumer model may be out of reach of
all but the most generous of gift givers. "If it's three grand,
there's no way I can give a SHT," said Holly Dumal of Princeton,
N.J. "I wish they'd make a cheap SHT."

Kamen replied that the company would never give its SHT away, but
promised a less expensive version was "definitely on our SHT list."

Also in the works: a specially designed device for use by Pope John
Paul that will speed the aging pontiff around the Vatican and St.
Peters Square. It's name: the Holy SHT.

I started a thread in early Sept wondering why no critter had ever
evolved wheels. The thread never got off the ground because of 9/11.

But here we are----humans are evolving wheels. If the SHT catches on,
our legs will atrophy to small stubs because that is all that will be
needed to drive a SHT wagon. Natural selection will breed out humans
with vestigial legs.

However, a minority of legged humans will be bred in order to provide
a continuous source of athletic entertainment. When the apocalypse
comes, it will be these legged freaks that survive because they will
be able to traverse the unpaved ground that will predominate after
the killer asteroid strikes.