We were in the lifestyle for many years..had alot of fun and met some wonderful people...We enjoyed some MFM threesomes(not enough as far as I was conserned..lol) It was my wifes favorite activity.BUT...all that came crashing down by chosing the wrong single man to join us.Married men are much better for MFM in my book.They already have a partner and wont try to take yours away...that is what happened to us.I let my wife try to get a single guy to join us...and instead he tried to break us up...we have been together for 20 years so needless to say he did not sucseed...all he did was make my wife want to change our lifestyle all together...So ...if ever I can talk her into MFM again it will be with married or attached men only...guys who just want to add to our relationship...not take away

St Andrews Canada

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But wouldnt you have to write back to the guy to find out anything about him?

Derry PA

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I have written to many couple just asking if they meet single guys.What is so wrong with responding back to that?....I dont get it...Skynard

Derry PA

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Cre8tive has a point. It is about what a couple wants in a single male.

But it should be the couple doing the conversation, not just one half of the couple. More often than not, I believe they don't always know one is doing the talking without them.

Not to put down free members, but I'm finding the more serious swingers are willing to pay for this service of meeting people vs the ones who have spent nothing. So right now I'm only willing to meet people who have invested in this lifestyle.

Believe me, I'm not bitter about people changing their minds. It happens in life all the time. But if a couple decides to enter into this lifestyle, they should both be in the loop on meeting potential partners.

Cincinnati OH

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Well let's put another spin on it.

I had a couple contact me (their choice) and we traded emails several times. I offered to travel to them, gave them the opportunity to meet first, see if we click, etc.

The emails I got back from them said that the hubby would love to see me stuff my cock into his wife, etc. Not a bad responce one would think :)

So they posted a new pic, I emailed them back commenting that the latest pic was great and I'd love to tit-fuck her (since their previous emails were pretty explicit in content I didn't think the tit-fuck was out of line). So I get an email back saying I'm too rude. Go figure.

What I think is (and verified on another occasion) is that the hubby is trolling for guys in some cases that the wife isn't up on all the previous emails that were traded. I know that even some guys want to meet with me WITHOUT his wife "to see if we are compatible". Yeah, right.

So if couples want to have a 3some and want guys to join, be honest and both agree to meet with males and make sure both of you are on the same page and not work independent of each other.

Cincinnati OH

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With us we have found two guys that we truely wanted to continue having fun with. One fell in love and got out of it. The other was really just fulfilling a need with out a committment which is cool. But he could not handle it said that to emotionally for him.

Since then we can not find a serious single male. Would love to find the right guy for the wife on a semi regular basis. But either they are not attractive to the wife or they are not for real.

So we do have a couple that will occasional entertain mfm for the wife or fmf also

Gastonia NC

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Baldwin:

Those suggestions are about a mindset, and attitude. Look at the ages of the successful, single, men. I suspect they are all older than you...probably 40s+. It's cool to stick to your guns. But this is a couples game. It's the same reason I prefer guys my age or older. I am attracted to a very specific type of guy. Good luck. Me, myself and I. I mold myself to the couple's needs, wants, desires. Swimming up stream doesn't work.

Mischief..happy to be the guest in several comfy places.

Glen Burnie MD

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Mtn7 is right. I have been lucky enough to find a few nice single guys. Luckily Mtn7 is one of them. He is a very good friend. But oldfart is right. I, and I am sure others, get plenty of of cock pictures, wanna fuck emails, and generally tacky contacts. What surprises me is even the older men are doing these things. Let's put this in the man's perspective. If you see a picture of a good looking engine do you buy the car without seeing the rest of the body? Do you tell your friends "Hey that rust bucket is mine but the engine is big!"

Chattanooga TN

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I think AB has a very good point. Sometimes it is just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. We do play with singles from time to time. And sometimes it is a spur of the moment thing.

When it is a spur of the moment thing I (female) look at who's online and who has contacted us previously (that I liked). Then, try to IM them to see if they are available/interested. Hence, being at the right place at the right time.

We don't look at men as a play toy for me. (Although that's not such a bad thing *wink*) But as an individual that we choose to share part of us with. And hope they reciprocate.

I know we are probably different than most couples because we do not usually contact single males first. The few times we did were not very successful. LOL So we'd rather choose from the ones who have sent us messages........well thought out messages and profiles.......or ones that I have chatted with and were attracted to. It is hard sometimes, too, because we do get a good many messages from single guys and only play with singles occasionally. So the messages/profiles that are well written and creative are the ones that catch my interest. Also the ones, after saying we might be interested but it could be a while, stay in touch. Not bug us, just say hi from time to time and chat ocassionally.

Clifton Heights PA

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Baldwin: Thinking of yourself as a guest may help. I wrote a post about being a "guest" in the bed of a couple. Good guests: -are careful to fit into the household routine. -Accept all boundaries. -Don't make demands, assumptions, or act selfish. -Accept all accommodations, allowances, use of the property with gratitude. -Bring small appropriate gifts. -Defer nonessential wants. -Wait for the hosts to take lead. -Take their cue from the same sex partner. -Bring their own personal supplies. -Leave (back off) before they wear out their welcome. -Never monopolize the facilities. -Ask permission before doing something not discussed.

Personally, I try to leave so the couple can bond over the experience. Some have wanted me to stay. I always try to leave before I have stayed very long. It's much better for the couple to ask you to stay, than to want you to go. This is about them, their relationship, their bond. You are not there as an object, however.. The idea of temporary guest is very valid. Try writing a profile with this idea in mind.

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