“In All His Ignorant Wisdom…”

By Burton Gretziner

Okay, so… Trump, in all his ignorant wisdom, declared that America recognizes Jerusalem as the official Capitol of Israel and that we would be moving our embassy there from Tel Aviv. He decreed that (despite warnings from both allies and foes), his unilateral move would accelerate Palestinian/Israeli peace negotiations. He, as usual, gave no reasoning for that belief. He just decreed it. Because he’s Donald Fucking Trump. And he’s, like, really smart. He’s a stable genius. And, maybe, Israel isn’t a “shithole” country. Palestine isn’t a country, yet. So they can’t be shitholes. Yet.

And, anyway, His Majesty hadn’t yet proclaimed a large part of the world as “shithole” countries at that point. That was in the future, still, when he decided that pissing off the entire Arab world, our allies and a bunch of people who already hate us was the best course to achieve peace between Palestinians and Israelis. Oh… and he didn’t yet have to prove he was a “stable genius” by merely pronouncing those words. All that was coming later. But President Caligula started a trend at that time– “Fire And Fury” just continued it.

The Donald proved to the entire world his intelligence and stability by merely stating that he is a “stable genius”. And that was that. Nobody can argue with that, right? He fucking said so. By that measure, then, I claim 40% of the Hilton Fortune. I won 30% of Jeff Bezos’ net worth in a card game. I invented the internet. I said so– so it must be so.

But our “stable genius” totally screwed the Palestinian/Israeli peace process with his stupidity. Check out the article, here. That’s not a “jump-start” to progress– it’s a 51-year step backwards. He’s not even as smart as “Wile E. Coyote – Genius” in those cartoons. “Beep-Beep”, idiot…

So: I guess I’ll have to renounce my 40% stake in Hilton (besides, I’d have to fight Paris Hilton for the part she’s pissed away– a fight I’m in no mood to deal with). And a bunch of people smarter than me went and invented the internet behind my back (I DID, however, invent the IDEA of the internet back in 1980– I called it D.A.D– “Dial-A-Dictionary”. You would call a number and request info on whatever and someone would give it. The present internet beats the shit out of my idea).

But, Jeff, buddy: neither one of us can prove we never played cards… so… how about we play for double or nothing? I’ll bring the beer.