Creativity Prompts for Writers, Journalers, Artists and Speakers

Prompt #142 Psychological Manipulation

How do men manipulate women into acting against their own best interests, even against their safety?

Researchers listened to telephone conversations between 17 accused male abusers in a Washington state detention facility and their female victims, all of whom decided to withdraw their accusations of abuse. For each of the couples, the researchers analyzed up to about three hours of phone conversations…

Typically, in the first and second conversations there is a heated argument between the couple, revolving around the event leading to the abuse charge. In these early conversations, the victim is strong, and resists the accused perpetrator’s account of what happens…

In the second stage, the perpetrator minimizes the abuse and tries to convince the victim that what happened wasn’t that serious…

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“The tipping point for most victims occurs when the perpetrator appeals to her sympathy, by describing how much he is suffering in jail, how depressed he is, and how much he misses her and their children,” Bonomi said.

“The perpetrator casts himself as the victim, and quite often the real victim responds by trying to soothe and comfort the abuser.”

…In the third stage, after the accused abuser has gained the sympathy of the victim, the couple bonds over their love for each other and positions themselves against others who “don’t understand them.”

The fourth stage involves the perpetrator asking the victim to recant her accusations against him and the victim complying. Finally, in the fifth stage, the couple constructs the recantation plan and develops their stories.

“They often exchange very specific instructions about what should be done and said in court. They seal their bond as a couple and see themselves as fighting together against the state, which they view as trying to keep them apart,” Bonomi said. –Science Daily

I will definitely make certain not to rush to rash judgments in the future about these things. Honestly, I just didn’t have much sympathy for someone who wouldn’t go toe-to-toe for themselves. Now I’m rethinking that thanks to you. 😉

If you get a chance, pick up the Carnes book from the library. It’s fascinating. They use classic brainwashing techniques. The scary thing is that I think the brainwashing guys learned it from them rather than vice versa.