Are you in an exclusive relationship? Do you want to be? Does your partner feel the same way? Having an exclusive relationship can lead a couple to a deeper commitment and, eventually, perhaps to an agreement to make it permanent. While dating several people simultaneously can be exciting and fun, some people consider it risky and a waste of time, and they are more interested in getting to know one person with whom they can spend meaningful time. If you're not sure whether you have an exclusive relationship, the following information may be helpful:

Are committed relationships more valuable than “dating around”? The answer to this question depends on who you ask. Traditionally, although both sexes enjoy meeting many kinds of people and dating others before settling down with just one exclusive partner, men tend to be more interested in playing the field and avoiding commitment later into life. Obviously this is not true for all men, and many women follow the same philosophy. And many people, of either gender, change their answer to this question over time.

Those who do find committed relationships more valuable, however, pin the value on several benefits: Having just one partner provides the opportunity to build trust and relational intimacy. Dating one person rather than several lets you focus on getting to know him very well instead of getting acquainted with several men only a little bit. And you can avoid the possibility of confusing certain traits of a person with those of another, or of your dates feeling jealous of each other.

What are other benefits of an exclusive relationship?Becoming exclusive with someone you really care about in a committed, loving relationship can make your life healthier in several ways. For one thing, you will have someone who cares about you and to whom you can come home and share your daily work life and personal issues. In turn, you will feel needed and appreciated when your partner confides in you.

Romance can blossom more richly when you have one major person to focus on and on whom to lavish attention. Sharing leisure time activities with a special person can make those activities more fun and enjoyable. You can avoid feelings of loneliness and isolation when you have a partner to be with.

Having an exclusive sexual relationship has many benefits, too. Sharing sexual intimacy with several partners means you can spread STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) among all those people and, in turn, they will share them with you and the other women with whom they get involved. Of course, every woman likes to think her man has not had many sexual encounters or that he has been careful to not contract a disease. But health statistics suggest that gonorrhea rates are climbing, while HIV remains a serious concern among couples who practice risky sex and drug-use. An exclusive sexual relationship minimizes some of these risks.

Exclusivity also helps couples address birth control directly and with trust. With multiple partners, an unplanned pregnancy risk can climb, as some may be less willing to use birth control than others. If you are seeing multiple partners, and you do not use adequate protection and become pregnant, it can be legally difficult and emotionally hurtful to pinpoint the father and work out decisions concerning the pregnancy. An exclusive sexual relationship creates an environment where you can discuss this ahead of time and have a plan.

Lastly, an exclusive sexual relationship can minimize jealousy issues. In relationships with multiple partners, jealousy can create tension and can destroy trust.

Is your relationship exclusive? If you are in a dating situation with someone you care about, now is the time to find out if both of you consider it exclusive, if you don’t already know. First, you will have to agree upon a mutually acceptable definition of “exclusive.”

An exclusive dating situation in general means that both of you agree to date only each other and not go out with others. But this leaves potential gaps for the meaning of “date.” Here are some examples to consider and discuss with your partner:

If your partner is unavailable when you need to attend an office party or function, are you free to ask a male friend to accompany you, or will your partner construe this as a date?

If your partner goes out with his friends to a bar and a girl approaches and sits beside him, engaging him in conversation, is he free to continue or should he put a stop to it?

What happens when an old high-school or college friend that one of you dated comes into town and wants to go out for dinner?

Are both of you comfortable with the other having friends of the opposite sex? If so, are you welcome to go out with these friends and/or have long phone or e-mail conversations?

The main idea is to know where both of you are comfortable drawing the line. It is likely you may not be able to agree on all possibilities, but discussion of these points will get the two of you moving in the right direction to try and reach agreement.

How can you strengthen an exclusive relationship?Even couples who have been married for decades can drift apart and end up divorcing. Dating couples who want to remain in an exclusive relationship need to find ways to work together to keep their relationship strong and healthy. They will need to set time apart each week on a regular basis to have a “date night” or fun times with each other, apart from the stressful activities of daily living. Going bowling, having a picnic, or even cooking together are fun things that can bring a couple closer and help them learn to appreciate new qualities in each other.

Clear communication is essential for the couple to work on problems and conflicts before they get out of control. They need to identify areas where one or both may be changing, then look for ways to accommodate each other or grow together, such as taking the same class or volunteering at the same charity. Giving each other a special place of honor in their lives will help to keep the flame of love burning brightly.

Pairing off into an exclusive couple is a natural part of the human lifespan. While some prefer to be single or go from one person to the next, most people want to be exclusive and choose to live with, or marry, one person for at least part of their life. If you are wondering whether you have an exclusive relationship or whether it is in your best interests to have one, discuss the possibility with your partner in search of common ground on which you can build. If both of you are committed to each other and want to take your romance to the next level, agreeing to an exclusive relationship may be right for both of you.

Are You a Dating Do or Don’t?Some guys don’t pay on the first date while others forget to open doors. When it comes to dating, times sure have changed, and with that, a new crop of dating dilemmas has emerged. But no matter what year it is, some dating rules should stand the test of time. Which ones are you forgetting? See how you measure up on the dateable scale with this dating quiz.