Sunday, December 16, 2012

Horizontal

Seriously. I am sitting in a recliner. I haven't been upright for more than meals and showers for almost 3 days. And here come the blankity-blankin' contractions. In a RECLINER!

And I'm in the recliner so I can try to figure out some of the financial and insurance stuff. I am so thankful I have the time to do that, truly. And it will all work out, with God's help; it always has. I'm just not sure I'm up for the hardships between now and our happily ever after.

Maybe it's the news, the shootings, the deaths. Probably more it's the response to it, the hatred voiced between anti-gun and pro-gun, blaming each other, blaming media, blaming so many.

Maybe it's just the frustration of being helpless, laying here while Jay runs circles to get done all he wants to do plus all that needs done.

And, really, NOW is when you decide that three of our four kiddos need to be sick? Right before Christmas? When I can't take them to the doctor? The doctor's office is NOT Jay's favorite place. That's pretty much been my territory since Katie was born.

I know there are good points, things to be thankful for. And I'll list them another time when I'm not ready to break. But right now, I need a little breakdown. A pout-fest. And maybe some quiet prayer time.

Goodness knows I'll have plenty of that in the days to come.

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So, I hit submit, then went to my church's Web site to see what today's readings were. You know, since I haven't gotten to go to mass for three weeks -- refer back to the horizontal thing. And the following was the second reading. Huh. Guess that is a pretty clear message with some seriously great timing. Thanks for little miracles.

Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice in the Lord always.
I shall say it again: rejoice!
Your kindness should be known to all.
The Lord is near.
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God.
Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.