Monday, 9 September 2013

ROSE - WAITING ON TEST RESULTS

Have you ever had to
wait for medical test results?Probably
most of you have.What runs through your
mind?The worst of course!

A quote from our
lovely Rose; "After Thursday when I get my test results I will know if I
have lots to look forward to".Rose
has 4 children, and many grandchildren, scattered across Canada and the United States.A few years ago, miraculously, the family
came together and a photo was taken.Here is Rose with her much cherished image.

Rose is thinking the
worst.She has been diagnosed with 3
separate cancers.

"In 1994 I had
kidney cancer and had a kidney removed.In 2002 I had uterine cancer and everyone said, 'Oh you don't have to
worry about cancer anymore you are Scot-free' and exactly 5 years to the day
later I got lung cancer".

In 2010 she lost her
husband Sam suddenly to a massive heart attack, and in the past year has had
both hips replaced.

She says she tries
not to think about the tests and what the results may be but then says: "I
think about it every... I try not to think about it but for this past week its
been tough.I ordered new glasses.My son was in town so he took me to get my
new glasses and I thought I shouldn't spend that kind of money you
know.....because what if I get bad news, I will have wasted money on glasses I
won't be needing for long....?(Rose
crying, wiping tears away).But I
did.

People tell you, you
should think positive.I've been
thinking positive since 1994 and look where it's gotten me and the last time I
saw my Doctor, he said to me, 'I think this time we'll wait for six months
between tests' and I said 'Oh thank God, I have less to worry about'.He said, 'What do you mean?' and I said to
him 'Well, I worry a little bit the last couple of weeks before test time'.

He gave me such a
lecture.He said 'I ride my bike to work
everyday and I don't think I am going to get killed on my way to work' so I
looked at him and said 'Doctor isn't that a little different than getting
cancer?' and he said 'Same thing'!Is it
the same thing?I don't know...."

Rose puts into words
what so many are afraid to say - "....I will know if I have lots to look
forward to".

Is there a way to
cope while waiting on test results?Some
say it's the hardest part of the cancer experience - not knowing, but is
knowing any better?Certainly if you get
good news then yes, knowing is better but what if you get bad news?Is knowing still better?

From our interviews
with patients we have found that yes, knowing (even bad news) is better than
not knowing.

How could that be?

When you don't know,
much like Rose said, you don't know if you have lots to look forward to but
good or bad news, you have lots to look forward to because good news or bad
news, you can form a plan, take action and harness some control over your
situation, but waiting for test results leaves you in a suspendedstate where living practically ceases and
existing reigns supreme.

Is it better to
live, or is it better to exist?It's
better to live of course!

Some feel it would
be better if you could get your test results quickly.Sometimes they come quickly but sometimes
they don't.The longer the wait, the
longer the patient is placed in 'nowhere land'.The long wait can be a good thing though.If the news isn't good, it gives the doctor a
chance to review your case, meet with colleagues and form a plan of action so
when you do have your appointment, much of the groundwork has already been done
for you - a plan has begun, there is a future to look forward to.

Many jump to the
'worst case scenario'.That is the
scariest possibility and a place where patients waiting for test results tend
to spend a lot of time.At 'Cancer
Crossing', we have interviewed several people who have received 'worst case
scenario' news and each time we reconnect there are big hugs all around.With any cancer diagnosis, there is always
time for hugs, tears, laughs, reflection and making plans.With a massive heart attack, you are gone in
an instant.Is that better?Who is to know?

Cancer works in
mysterious ways.Carpe Diem is the
saying.Cancer or no cancer, everyone
would be wise to Carpe Diem, each and every day.

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Mission

Publish 'Cancer Crossing', a compilation of stories of cancer patients and caregivers accompanied by touching black and white photographs. Net proceeds from book sales go to cancer patient support services. Support will begin in Manitoba where the project has originated and as proceeds increase, will fan out across Canada. We also plan on continued printing of the book, so ultimately, the book may be gifted to newly diagnosed cancer patients as a companion on their journey.

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A collection of stories about life, through the eyes of cancer patients and caregivers. Their unique experiences lead you, the reader, on a journey of self discovery.

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'Cancer Crossing', a patient companion book and fundraiser, for cancer patient services across Canada.