Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

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Friday, May 8, 2009

Which uniform is worse?

Triathletes, swimmers and cyclists have the worst uniforms on the planet, or so I thought. Seriously, who would have ever thought I'd happily parade around in a grown up diaper, run through the neighborhood in a Speedo or look like a conehead at the pool? Well, we have taken a poll and there is one uniform that is worse...

Here is a short exchange with a friend the other nite. Background - I was in my car turning into the pool and I saw him cooling down in the parking lot across the street. Speed skater.

I just saw you over over there...HI!!!

In my killer outfit? Yikes.

No worse than a bike kit, I don't think! C'mon, I hang with guys in banana hammocks and goggles! (...and they all don't look like THIS, my friend. )

Hahaha.

While it's OK to draft a guy on a bike, guy on guy, a speed skater is drafting hand on arse ... suffice it to say, you better be very competitive and very secure in your manhood to draft during speed skating training or races. You are up close and personal with the arse in front of you! Oh, and if there is any question, speed skating is NOT on my list of things to do. Seriously, I'd kill my self or break myself into a gagillion pieces for sure.

One day is great and another, you fall apart. Wednesday nite run was great, felt speedy and light, pushed it hard. Thursday nite - I should have opted to ride but the lawn was in dire straights. Mow + another attempt at running back to back nites was a baaad idea. The legs were like lead and I could hear Kate Bush singing in my head - running up that hill....I wanted to slap the biatch.

Can't they make a smokin' hot bod a prerequisite for the banana hammock? Please? I'm sick & tired of seeing dudes with their bellies hanging so far over their briefs that they look nekkid. And not yummy nekkid, but droopy nekkid.

I think shaving your back should also be a prereq for the banana hammock. Or scratch that - for getting in the dayum pool, period.

I was thinking about this during my swim. My nomination for worst uniform is football, American football, not what the rest of the world calls football. Those dorky helmets, bulgy padding, ect. If the guy driving a big vehicle is making up for a small penis, I wonder what the football players are making up for.

Such a poinient post.The more flashy and dorky the uni, the better. Obnoxious is in.I think the look of the uni has alot to do with who's/what body is wearing it. Ref the banana hammock comments.Oh sure, it's a banana hammock at first but just add cold water and it turns into twig and berries.Just saying.

very perceptive on the speed skating thing...keep up the running...you'll get you land legs back. Have a good weekend...Wife went to NY NY with friends for the weekend...got the kids and we are having some fun...Leaving me in charge is like have the inmates guard the asylum.

I'm not sure anyone could pull off looking good in a sumo wrestler's outfit (not even Gabby Reece or Michael Phelps) - so I'd vote for that being the worst. Ever. (Although come to think of it - I wouldn't mind seeing GR or MP at least try..) :D

Messing with my brain there, young Missy! What happened to the "Friday swim, maybe not!" blog? post? Was all excited to read something new, and then disappointed! Very disappointed! Well, maybe not as disappointed as Zorg. :-)

I don't know, I've always liked the speed ice skaters in the olympics. Ooooh, those legs! I don't know how you do the padded shorts on the bike so much either. I guess every uniform is something we get used to, eh?

IronMissy - it's official!

Enough about me, what do you think about me?

I'm not really great at swimming, biking or running...I'm just OK at all three! Hell, I pretty much just ride for fun and run for the company any more. I have dogs instead of kids and think that all my friends WITH kids are saints. I write as though I'm talking so forgive my "proper" use of grammar.