Friday, September 15, 2017

There are often repetitive messages in my Meanderings, and it is rewarding when someone of superior intelligence grasps the meaning behind the messages.Mike and I began our Social Media journey at about the same time (2010) ::... I was nudged a little harder over the cliff into the abyss slightly before him, and became what I thought as an unlikely mentor to someone who was highly successful and brilliant in his own right -- a successful book launch being a key metric that I recognized early on as a method to delve into credibility online among the endless noise and self-promotion of many self-described "experts".Steadfast still, I am firmly entrenched in the belief that nobody can define themselves as an expert, no matter how many followers one has. It is derived from how others describe you: what do others consider you knowledgeable about is one thing, being credited as an expert quite largely another.Mike reached out to me a couple of weeks ago via email, one of the few entrusted connections online that have never been derived from a face-to-face meeting at an event, social or association. Not even a telephone conversation.Having a virtual or personal conversation with a man who is not a relative, business associate is frowned upon as it can lead "to other things". However, you can still be disciplined in having rich conversations and exchange of knowledge and learning from others regardless of gender. There is an invisible line that should never be crossed.

During a isolated time in my life when I was a regular church attendee, I still recall a message that resonates today from a wise Pastor: do not be afraid to create friendships or be asked for advice from the opposite gender. However, there are some areas to stay far from to keep it from falling into a downward, unethical spiral:

Include others in the conversation so that it is not isolated, clustered by only two (the Pastor suggested that he invites his wife to any meeting or event that he wants to avoid falling into the trap of questionable conversations, particularly marriage counselling).

It is okay to sprinkle in nuggets about your life partner, spouse, wife or husband, children, as a distinct flag that you are if not always happy, happiest with the person you are with and have no intention to stray. Cheating is not at your core values.

Keep it professional so that at any given time, the conversation may be shared with a sibling, friend, child, parent, spouse, partner without any guilt.

Keep the topic off of relationship radars: particularly complaints about your partner's shortcomings, dissatisfaction with your relationship in any shape or form. That should be with your church minister or mosque elder.

You can have a respectful, fruitful relationship with a person of the opposite sex, when your radar clearly signals "in a committed relationship with not a sliver of disregard or disrespect of your life partner".

Any of these apply to anyone with leanings towards same sex or transgender relationships.

You CAN have helpful, rewarding relationships with anyone so long as you know your boundaries and it is clearly communicated by not so much by what you say but how you act.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

When it seems like all other areas in your life are falling apart, there is only one thing you can possibly control:HOW YOU REACT!

If you try to be the best person inside, true to your truest character, spectacular vibe and kindness to everyone ~ you HAVE the ability the change not only how you view the world, but also how the world views you.After facing bullying myself for the first time in my life after turning 56 years old just this past April, I find strength building within me, not without the assistance of my therapist Marjory.At this prime time age [ NIX the MIDDLE AGE already!] you have earned the right to be who you ARE!

I'm not saying if you're a guy, you are aspiring to be a character cast permanently henceforth as the "grumpy old guy" or "old perv". Nor am I suggesting that we women have to resort to comfy shoes only, bloaty tops with massive floral collage intended as a decoy to hide that post-menopausal early trimester pregnancy look [ that MOST women experience regardless of race, color, demographic [= age + education + where you live], location, living conditions].You MAY think if you wear those life-weary looks of drooling at really young girls or scowling at their belly buttons showing or deep enough cleavages that makes toe jam look like a speck of dirt.What about testing my theory?Be the truest you that you can possibly be! There is no linkage or printed guides or rule books or user manuals or YouTube videos required. Totally unique to you, wired closely between the head and the heart. More close to your identity than your DNA. You.Who you were meant to be.Forget about looking at the past. Examining and spending so much agonizing energy on what ifs? You CAN start to be you. There is NEVER never enough time. You do not need pocketfuls of money or unlimited VISA limits for shopping or pulling together your look.Yes, it starts inside.Nothing more difficult than asking yourself: "What do you want?" At my first therapy, recovering anxiety from the bullying experience, Marjory started with that simple question.Journal til there's no ink left.That was the instruction. Start writing and writing and writing. Regardless of what you are writing. No judgement, complete privacy, just empty your heart and your head essentially is what I thought it meant. Yeah, it took me outta my blogging, which has been mostly a release of the brain: sharing what I know.Helping people.That's what I like doing most. I tend to focus on avoiding the pitfalls that I've had to go through in order to clear the air and focus on moving forward. By saying forward, I am meaning mostly that you are just ....

LETTING GO ... ..... letting go of the past. With a big picture in mind, putting all the junk in a bubble: lack of confidence, humble beginnings, shortfall in knowledge (aka lack of formal education), poor body image, horrible childhood, victimization, gender or race discrimination, divorce, violence, bullying, failure, disappointment, hurt ......... put it into the bubble [ aka journal if you need to about that stuff so that you can talk it over with a therapist ~ breaking the rules of letting it go ]. THE BUBBLE FLOATS AWAYBouncing with the tide and blowing with the wind, the bubble has left you behind. Now what are you going to do?BE HONEST WITH YOURSELFNow that you let all that toxic waste float away in the bubble, what do you have left? Only YOU. What does that look like, how do you look? That's where the "What do you want?" steps in.What do you want?You can write and think all you like about lists upon lists of the little things to the gigantic dream.

"The bigger the dream,

the more the hard work."

~ Jeannette Marshall

@optioneerJM

No item too big or too small.If it is what you want, it is what you want. Remember, in your private journal, it is YOU, it is private, it is between "Me, myself & I" if you need a debate or thrive on controversy go for it.BIG DREAMS = HARD WORKThere are no short cuts for you skippies out there who like to dart around things and stomp on people to get to where they want to be. What seems like an overnight miracle are years of perspiration: that's what I extracted from watching THE NINETIES by CNN where its focus was really about the first kings of technology: STEVE JOBS and BILL GATES. Even if you want to lean towards sympathizing with the founders of NETSCAPE, stop it. They earned millions of dollars on an idea they were able to execute.EXECUTE ideas.Don't just talk about it, give your ideas away, or work for a company who will gladly swipe that idea under the umbrella of corporate regulations and employment contracts: what you create there becomes their property.Life is unfair.Get used to it. Heck, if you're in your 40s or beyond you should know this by now and stop talking about it or how luck evaded you.GET THINGS DONE Getting things done requires elbow grease or perspiration or agonizing or choices. Checking things off mental lists that surface in the middle of the night when you are longing for slumber. EXECUTE. Complete. Finito. Bon Voyage. NEXT? Get'er'done already!I got ahead of myself again, per usual. Jump forward, bending sideways, and sometimes losing the very important point. I guess that is the part of blogging that I really enjoy: helping others and exhausting those thoughts that don't fit into a journal and may be better to share.When I wrote what I wanted, it wasn't about material things, I am very fortunately married to Hunkster Hubster which I appreciate most days [ trials and tribulations of married life is normal ]. Sure, I'd love a much bigger house in a tropical locale with the web my biggest tool [ or hammer, depending upon my mood ]. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVEWas what I thought I really wanted. Until you try it, you don't really realize or appreciate how difficult that is. I think it was Oprah Winfrey probably in the 90s who got everyone thinking about having a GRATITUDE journal, whereby you wrote about what was positive that happened that day. Even as you wake up, you can write down what you look forward to that day.COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR I am at the very early, formative stage of doing cognitive behavior development. With my baby toe on my right foot touching the tip hesitantly. I hardly think it is possible without emptying the brain and the heart of anything toxic, and placing it in the bubble to float away.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

one is silver and the other GOLDas I grow each older, the more appreciative I've become of so many wonderful experiences to be blessed with, never for a moment taking any of it for granted.working one's self to the core doesn't do anyone favors (p.s. in Canadianese the American favors is favored by spell check, but we Canadians taught articulation in the late 60s and the early 70s were blessed with the very big gift of expression. ..... :: anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyys [an 80s term for those yuppies still out there, and the Millennial wannabes ::.... how things have evolved eh?In the folds of being born of the 60slike wallflowers to the Baby Boomers, we observed, we absorbed the best parts, we have held our composure, and now we are parents of the gift to our generation: the gift of the Millennial Bloom. We're pretty luckyeven though if you paid attention to statistics and stereotypical behavior, those born in the 60s were pre-packaged to lean towards failure. If you think stereo-typing is dangerous, especially to mental health, think of the resilience and tenacity of anyone you know, been lucky enough to have met, or heaven help you if you're an offspring.A beacon of lightto the Millennials is their embrace of the 80s culture. Is it because there is a soul connection of what those of us in our 20s in the 80s aligned with what our own Millennials are facing.Where optimism can be restoredwhen you think of what great things, events, game-changers occurred in the 80s, introduced back then, every day now. Boxers who come out of the cornerjumping into the obstacle ahead, head of, crouched in readiness to take the offensive with hardly a sniffle and long before a drop of sweat. That would define those who lived their 20s in the 80s. I graduated from college in the 80sand it was a great platform to launch a career. Not limited by the restrictive curriculum, more persevering to land beyond the world of conformity, censorship, polite manners, poise and abloom with everything is impossible, we may as well make the impossible possible.

I notice some really talented folks out there. Some that mere names crossed paths with me. What a crazy, crazy CRAZY time, when I think back to it. With gurgling reflection caught and captured from my conversation with my mother this afternoon.Being the parent of a Millennialis a worrisome, full board, attentive preoccupation. You revel is the brilliance shining from your child born, first in 1989, with the others to follow in the 90s. We're lucky so they are luckyas well. Like skipping stones across a glass-like lake or quietly lapping ocean shore. We may have been born in inopportune times, faced some pretty insur-mountable odds. What we share is that grasp of not expecting anything for free, without commitment, not always sacrifice [ often by choice ] understanding the basic rightful work ethic:

* work hard* work honestly* work with integrity* be known for your word without all the numerous* be committed to quality

* whatever you do, do it with pride

* love who you do it with, who you're surrounded by

* do your best always, it always pays off in spades

A dog eat dog worldbegan with the Baby Boomers with entitlement mastered by GenX. Where those born of the 60s, grew in the 80s, parents of the Millennials >> skipped >> over the hay days and landed in the middle of the first recession since the 1929 stock market crash [ if you do not know anything about this historical event, pause this article and go find out about it .... as my commitment to you as a blogger, you read ] we had to survive. Really not much opportunity to learn as funds dried up and kids had to go leave post-secondary because their was some sort of crisis in their lives, with their family, that took more important measure instead.Learn from your eldersas much as you can. No time will be wasted. I can guarantee that! Talking to my mother, with so many wise words shared. I even said to her: "I hope I remember all of this for when I write later". The gift of her wisdom was shone brightly upon me, like a face of a flower blooming forward towards the sun. I was a sponge in the 80sthat was my greatest gift. I only had a college diploma, not even a university degree. It was enough to teach me discipline and that anything worthwhile doesn't come free, without commitment and stick-to-it-ness that is just emerging within the Millennial generation. Millennials have faced fearreflected in their parents eyes. A strong, tough upper lip, and a straight spine. We weren't even considering weakness, with goals clearly defined in our line of vision. Dedication, optimism ~contagiously positive attitudes were bestowed upon our offspring. Whether they grasped those sprinkles of enlightenment and hung on to the best qualities we shared.Nobody is perfectand neither is anyone who defines themselves as a Yuppie. [ Or admits in select company and trusted members ] Who wear it as an emblem of pride, saying "who cares?" if they still have enough hair left to grow a mullet, why not?As the Millennials groanand tsk tsk with embarrassment to their very influential peers. What their peers think of them is more important than their parents, their boyfriend, or their employer slash / boss could ever dream. A peer sets the benchmark and the height of the peddle stool they are awarded, acclaimed, worshiped or refrained.Be still thine parental heartit is just a mutation of your chromosomes, evolved and collided with nature and environment to form an independent being, an individual. I know it is very hard. Like a moth does to a butterfly without the loss of the moth, is the butterfly allowed to form.Be glad, be proud and be boastfultoward anyone who'll listen. Those are the ones you want to be around. They can relate, or your words resonate with them.Unlike my mom's wordsthis afternoon. They were so wise, so enlightening ... almost as though I was leaving a cocoon. While I'd been living these 55 years, I was enclosed in a small outlook, not looking far beyond to where flowers bloom and the sun's flower is warm with a gentle wind, with an iced tea at my elbow. I'm careful I don't give it a nudge to topple it over as I tap, tap, tap with the rhythm of my 1979 typing class on an electric typewriter. Graduating exceeding 120 clicks minutes ::.... now WHAT was it called back in those days when we took our speed tests on a manual typewriter? Hmmmm I think it was ... nope not characters per second, or any variation of the Times New Roman font that was the only letters to be had, to write a letter, draw up an agreement or a contract. Some of us grew up with carbon copyyet how many know what that material is? What it is like to try to avoid staining your fingers on the sticky substance on its back with a wrapping-paper thin or thinner-than-onion paper thin [ I'm sure Google can show you what either of those things are .... if not, Wikipedia for sure ].This is a story for those who remember the glory of being a yuppie. Bringing in the 80s as we all turned 20. That is a pretty unique identifiable experience, a uniqueness we can own. A significant contribution to our society came from our decade. [ you may have to dig back to my other INBETWEENERs blog (before we evolved to be called "YUPPYDOM" ) mere weeks ago I wrote about those who graduated from the 1960s and became icons of our time. Across borders, beliefs, colors, race or country, the class of the 1960s born are unique with much to boast about.Keep steady on the present.Slam the door or gently close the past. Forget about the future because it isn't anything you can touch right now. So you may as well be aware of the present and make every moment count!

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Goal is to have Tiffany & Co. pay for an advertising spot on this blog as I show the way.

Hahahahaha my fabulous fashion fashionistas fighting their 50s, 60s or finding their way in their 20s, 30s :: or friends or family of them :: you thought that I was going to go on about gems like I did in my nod to Tiffany's a week ago. Should I say sorry? Do you think I tricked you?

Mundane AverseI guess I'm avoiding the risk that you will get too bored if I'm mundane. This is called "MeanderingsAbout" after all, and I only promise thatit is likely what I'm thinking about or on my current radar. My personal vibeI just have this hidden gift of picking up looks and able to find what looks right on me, regardless of the past 5 decades of my life, minus the first two because it was the period when my parents, my friends, my desires led my way. To a lesser degree, as an avid reader, I was fortunate to avoid some of the boredom facing youth of any generation, reckless with abandon with the strength of my will, not without having repercussions or accountability drilled in to me. Less likely to rebel, but having a rebellious heart. That can be used constructively, not violently nor corruptly.

Well if you read my blog from last night, I had hatched the idea of becoming a reading aficionado @readaficionadoI can tweet 140 characters to cast the net wide on the web and luckily catch some of the best of the best of simply #everything :: but the friends who are friends on Facebook become more than a fleeting #RT or #FF that is in the net with you, together. Usually, they catch the same #positivevibes as you do and/or you gravitate to the same group of messages, narrowing the finest as in a sci-FI being slower to filter up to blend into the hook. Does the hook get larger or the net? It certainly appears that they're the top 1% ers :: taking the lame factors of Following to Follow ratio, WHO are your Followers (determining the influence you wield.Mental EnergistI can tweet 140 characters to cast the net wide on the web and luckily catch some of the best of the best of simply #everything :: but the friends who are friends on Facebook become more than a fleeting #RT or #FF that is in the net with you, together. Usually, they catch the same #positivevibes as you do and/or you gravitate to the same group of messages, narrowing the finest as in a sci-FI being slower to filter up to blend into the hook. Does the hook get larger or the net? It certainly appears that they're the top 1% ers :: taking the lame factors of Following to Follow ratio, WHO are your Followers (determining the influence you wield.

My Diamond Dash review 2/5*I don't just talk about it, I post my reviews, then sometimes talk about it here or on my other two blogs by +Jeannette MarshallI apologize friends :: I just stumbled upon Diamond Dash and its looking like I'm obsessed with it .... well I am ... for now .... it may last long because they're too inhibiting in time you play, causing you to stop until you have more hearts. What do they know that the bazillion other games have on Facebook? Would Farmville have the bazillion of gameplayers and followers if they limited time play? NOOOooooppee they bring out the competitiveness in its players wanting to be at the highest level or the prettiest set up or the most prolific farms.

In other words, I give Diamond Dash two thumbs down and only ** out of ***** stars. The only reason it did not get a 1/5* rating was because it did a good enough job to suck me in and get me to play a few games, on the very tip of the verge of addiction.FeedbackI really value feedback so I can get direction from my fans if there is anything specific they want my opinion on? I can check it out, get the energy or vibe, insight into brand messaging and then give my honest to goodness review or commentary.

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Jeannette Marshall, imagineer, mental energist

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This blog is a spin off by Jeannette Marshall, social media enthusiast @optioneerJM :and a fabulous fashionista fighting her fifties. Here I is my outlook on whatever rocks my world, and the side of being creative, whimsical at times, serious other times, attracted to fashion & beauty that bespeak my age, blended with imagery and fun. Meanderings allows me to poke fun at myself and share my less serious side. I share my favorite movies, fashion tips, time with family, comment on what is going on in the world. I know the stats are showing a climbing readership and I thank you for taking the time to stop in. Don't be shy to comment, share it or even message me privately. I joke sometimes leaving a blank box on my blog so that the dream sponsor will fall outta the sky with a healthy cheque to fill the empty box with their logo as endorsement. I won't endorse or comment on anything that I haven't personally tried, appreciate, or read. I owe that to you and hope it means you will subscribe or pop in again. Feel free to follow me on Twitter or if your curious to learn more "About Me"

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