I told Noah about the bus. A silly conversation to have with a kid who doesn't have the slightest grasp on the concept of time, but I told him anyway. "Next year, you'll ride the bus to school, and it will come right to our house!" I told him. He immediately ran to the window to wait.

"Where the school bus, Mommy?" he asked, over and over.

***

Ever since I attempted to explain why a featurette about Cruella De Vil from our 101 Dalmations DVD was not the actual movie, Noah thinks her name is actually "Bonus Material."

***

When I ask him to go get something from another room, he walks to the door, spins around and points his finger out to me. "I'll be right back!" he assures me. He talks another step and spins around again, just in case I didn't believe him. "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!"

***

A baby was crying at Target. "Oh no, Baby Ezra's crying," Noah said. Before I could tell him that it was a different baby, he saw that Ezra was just fine. "It's okay, Mommy, it's not OUR Baby Ezra," he informed me.

***

We had an interview yesterday for a Sensory Integration/Occupational Therapy summer camp. It was. Another thing. Just like all the other things from the past few months. Or years. I forget now. The receptionist was pretty impressed with my binder. Noah played and laughed and attempted to play with another awkward little boy, though it soon disintegrated into his typical blend of dinosaur roars and frustrated, panicked grasping for the right words and finally tears when the other little boy ran away because he was afraid of dinosaur roars.

The therapists looked over his IEP goals and boggled over the idea that someone thought he was ready for pre-writing skills because look at him! Look how he moves! His body in space! His proprioceptive system! His syntax and misuse of pronouns! That poor child has no sense of who and where he is in the world! He needs full-body OT before bilateral integration and at that point the conversation veered distinctly out of the realm of Stuff I Have Googled. I told them he did pretty well with our shoe box obstacle course at home and asked if they had any morning programs in the fall. They did! Here's a brochure.

"PER WEEK?" I squawked. "That's the price PER WEEK?"

They mentioned the possibility of our insurance paying for part of it.

"Uh-huh. Sure," I said glumly.

"I know," one of them sighed, making a face.

Noah didn't want to ever leave. He threw himself into the ball pit and attempted to hold onto the balls like you'd grip carpet. The camp director coaxed him out and back to the waiting room and told me that Noah got the gold star for the least dramatic exit meltdown of the day. "He's FANTASTIC," she laughed. "What an adorable little guy."

They had one spot left in the camp. They also accepted MasterCard, so we took it.

***

On the way home, I absent-mindedly pointed to a fire engine on the side of the road. Its lights were flashing and a cop was pulling up and...oh crap, there was an ambulance and more firefighters and I'd just directed my three-year-old's attention to a major car accident. The car was facing us, easily visible, smashed to all hell. EMTs were attending to a shaken-looking young woman on the ground. Fuck, I thought.

From the backseat, Noah cheerfully labeled everything he saw. "Look at that FIRE ENGINE! And another fire engine! And a police car and an ambulance! Look, I see them!"

I tensed up, waiting for the rest of the scene to register, when Noah suddenly turned his head and spotted something on the other side of the highway. He shrieked.

Noah is really cute! I hope the camp is wonderful. My son who is five told me this morning that his bones are tired of being this little. I don't have a blog so I grabbed the video camera and made him repeat it.

Noah is really cute! I hope the camp is wonderful. My son who is five told me this morning that his bones are tired of being this little. I don't have a blog so I grabbed the video camera and made him repeat it.

I always believe that the money for the things my child needs will come to me. Sure, we have debt but somehow the things that are needed get paid for.
No, there will be no family vacation to Disney World...but my kid is getting whats needed.

So cute! My almost 3 y/o has no concept of time, and I always forget that and preview some super exciting event in the future and then have to spend days/weeks. months (depending how stupid I was) telling him not yet/leave me alone/ stop asking or we can't go! Currently, I am answering questions about the movie Up and fireworks on the 4th of July.

Just wanted to say, I ran into a friend this weekend who I hadn't seen in ages. She told us about the IEP that her 4yo was recently put in. Thanks to the info you've shared with us all I felt better equipt to respond and ask her questions about her/their situation with sensitivity.

When I was going through all of the same "stuff", I felt so alone. None of my friends had kids with this "stuff". I would have loved to not feel like the only mom in the world who was dealing with my son's issues.

Make sure you let Noah know that only HE is special enough to ride The School Bus - Mom, Dad and Ezra don't get to ride it. And he gets to take a backpack with him! With a water bottle and a comfort item, who or which needs to live in the backpack at school! YAY!
And double YAY for summer camp. The SI/OT therapies really helped our son click with more language. We still do summer camps as they help him retain what he's learned over the past school year.
Be proud of yourself for that new, thicker skin you've developed. While one never gets 'meh' about living in the Special World, one does get pretty matter of fact about it.

I don't know why, but that post made me tear up a bit. Possibly it was because of that spectacular picture of Noah at the end. And of just how sweet of a kid he seems to be. Or just how I can tell you love him more than life and just want him to be happy and to know he is loved. You sound like you are right on track. Good job Amy.

I always start reading your posts with a smile which turns into laughter and inevitably - the school bus - crying like a baby at my desk.
We have such precious little angels and I hope your guy suddenly outgrows his sensory issues just like my ds did a month ago. I hope, like me, when someone asks what you did you wonder if it was the OT, the diet, the love or just nothing at all?!? Know in your mind and heart that this camp is GOING TO ROCK! He's going to have so much fun, because OT is fun and jumping, swinging and climbing is super fun! No matter what we've done, I always looked at OT as the one thing that can't screw him up!
AND, go and steal their ideas and hold your own camp in the mornings at your own house/yard. Tunnels and scooters, exercise balls, and even ball pits are all available online and are a heck of a lot cheaper! Maybe you can even just cut back on the amount he goes if you do some at home. Great post.

What an awesome camp. How cool will it be for Noah to be surrounded by people who understand his challenges and know what to expect from him and how best to help him? Nothing feels as good as being around people who 'get' you, right? I think that alone will be worth the price of admission. Best of luck to your little guy.

We're getting my son tested for sensory processing disorder in July (it's a long wait for an appointment). I want to thank you for all you've written here about your journey with Noah: having read about all you've been through, it doesn't seem as mystifying or strange, and makes it all seem so much more manageable. (Not that I'm not choked up as I write this.) Anyway -- thank you. Just, thank you.

The sensory/OT place sounds a bit like the private clinic we took our son when we lived in Canada. We used a chunk of savings intended to buy our next house, but it was worth it. After a very short time, he had a development spurt in language; the physical work was helping connect more neurons, making it easier for him to find words. I hope Noah has a great time and never even realizes that he's working!

I love that he's waiting for the bus already. And that he totally missed the yuck factor of the accident. We were detoured on our way to the zoo last month and while sitting in the back up from it my boys noticed "hey look all the police cars". As I"m looking over with them I notice "hey there's a body on the ground that no one is attending to" and promptly said "hey look over here at the deer". No deer but it got there attention else where before I had to answer any questions.

The camp sounds great. I hope he loves it, for him and for Mommy and Daddy.

Reading this put a big smile on my face because the Camp Director SAW NOAH, you know? Saw the adorable boy who is trying SO HARD.

Kaitlyn's favorite new phrase is "Let me", as in, "no, you can't have another popsicle" to which she screeches "LETTTT MEEEEE". But she also has to pack a purse full of My Little Ponies before we go anywhere, which is pretty cute.

Those pictures-swoon. Noah does know that Kaitlyn is available, right?

That second photo is just so gorgeous... and one of those pics you are going to look back on years from now, when your little boy is a big brawny beefy almost-man, and remember when he was a gorgeous little bare-bottomed boy, nose pressed to the window, watching the world go by.
Precious. Love. :-)

De lurking to say thanks for sharing your story! I actually drive the short bus and pre schoolers are my favorite. I love watching them progress through the year. Its amazing how just a few hours a day with the right teachers can help these little guys along. Its been great reading your story from a parents perspective. As a driver we don't get to see what happens behind the scenes. Makes me appreciate the opportunity to be part of their education so much more!

B does that too - the thing where, when she walks out of the room, she points to us and says "I'll be right back." But usually she adds something like "Don't talk until I get back" or, if she's leaving the dinner table, "And Mommy? While I'm gone, don't eat anything and be sure the dogs stay out of the kitchen." :)

The school bus! Yay for Noah! I sometimes find myself tensing up, convinced that I've just scarred my kids for life with some offhand comment or painful life reality I've pointed out, when they remind me that they're amazingly resilient and can find the best (or the least bad) in almost everything. My favorite was when my 5-year-old, who had been (not entirely accurately) complaining of being bullied in school, was actually choked by another child in a fight over a crayon. Molehills he happily made into mountains; but when he was actually attacked, he didn't even remember it. It was over and he moved on. I wish I were that good at finding the school buses in life!

This was such a sweet post and yet sad at the same time. But it sounds like you are on the right track with everything. I hope it continues to work out. As for the accident, I'm pretty sure I would have done the same thing and then realized what I did, a little too late.