Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Random thoughts for 2010

Wow! It's 2010! I remember when we started the 2000's with all sorts of futuristic predictions and we know how that turned out. Two words: Windows Vista.

I actually had a depressing haircut the other day. That's right, a depressing haircut. As the stylist was shaving the sides and back of my head, I noticed the hair coming down was all grey! I was quite sad. But then on top of that, the stylist joked: "Don't worry, I just cut out all your grey."

:O Shit, she noticed too! Even more depressing. I then went to visit my mother and as I walked in the door, she said: "Jeff! Wow, your hair is getting so grey!" WTF?

In any case, a few thoughts to start off the year...

Don't you find it cool when you're listening to music in a car or on a bus and it seems that everything around you seems to move to the beat of the music? It's almost like G-d went "Heyyyyy, I like that song! Everyone get down and shake your thang!"

Is it earphones or headphones? Is there a difference? They both end up in your ears.

Crack pipe: An object used to smoke drugs? A broken watermain? Or a really painful sounding sex toy?

I'm waiting for a flamingo to one day put his other foot down: "Holy shit. This is way easier!"

For stalker class, the people who show up IN class are the ones that fail.

Hey, once the 7th season of 24 starts, shouldn't that be a Sunday and Jack Bauer should rest the entire day? "Stay tuned for episode 3: 6pm-7pm where you'll watch Jack make his dinner and clean up after!"

Apparently Kraft has purchased Cadbury. I can picture how those negotiations might have gone...

Cadbury: "...your offer sounds intriguing, but we're not sure..."

Kraft *slides over three boxes of KD*

Cadbury: "I'm sorry. That's not going to help."

Kraft *slides over three boxes of White Cheese KD*

Cadbury *execs look at each other* "If you throw in the Three Cheese Macaroni, it's a deal."

Do you stamp your foot or stomp your foot? Verbs are vital here!

When you're introduced to someone and they say "glad to meet you" prove them wrong

The first time someone ate chicken: "wow! Everything else tastes like this!"

The library, tennis and golf: the only times silence is required in order to think.

People who abruptly stop in the middle of a moving crowd of people should be promptly jailed for 6 months

You know what? Walking on eggshells isn't that bad at all. It's kind of mushy with the occasional jab of pain but overall it's kind of soothing

How to annoy someone: find someone who's reading a book, stand next to them and in a barely audible voice read the book aloud.

Have you ever been on a bus and the person sitting beside you suddenly moves to an empty seat? Don't you become insulted? Its almost like you require they give an exit interview before they leave. "Alright, so it's Mr. Johnson? Fine. So what seemed to be the issue? Was I taking up too much space? Did I smell or something? Was it the socks? My wife picked out those, it's not my fault."