Genevieve: Because coming out with “well being” I’m like “That’s pretty vague, but it feels like a ‘do’ and then we get to “social media use” and I’m still mostly on “do” but feel like there’s more information needed, and then we get to “opioid abuse” and I’m like …where are we going with this?

Steven: It sounds like a slogan for Derek Zoolander’s Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Tori: I’m still stuck on “Be Best” — should it be “Be THE Best,” “Be YOUR Best” … like, it feels incomplete. It reads like they just misspelled “Bieber.”

Genevieve: It really does seem like they forgot they had this unveiling today and just kind of threw it together in the 20 minutes before the press conference, right?

TK: The whole thing is astonishing.

Genevieve: I’m a habitual procrastinator but for fuck’s sake, guys, this is what phone alarms and calendar notes are for.

TK: What I wrote on FB:

“WE WILL CALL IT ‘BE BEST’”

“Um, Mrs. Trump, I think it’s great but - “

“BE BEST.”

“No, I get that, but maybe if we inserted a “your” or “the”- “

“BE. BEST.”

“Yes, we understand. It’s just a teeny bit clunky and if we just - “

“YOU ARE NOT BEING BEST. BE BESTER THAN THIS.”

“OK, but the things you’re saying don’t really -“

“THAT IS NOT BEST ENOUGH.”

“Right, OK, but that doesn’t make a lot of-“

“CHILDREN MUST BE BESTER. DO YOU NOT WANT BESTEST CHILDREN?”

“Oh, fuck it.”

“BESTER. MUCH BESTER.”

Lainey:

Melania: Be Best
Narrator: They weren’t

Kristy: Is that the actual logo? WHY ARE CONSERVATIVES SO SHIT AT GRAPHIC DESIGN!?

Genevieve: Those Es look like Fs. BF BFST

Kristy: The whole thing screams, “We did this last night and Kinkos was closed.”

Genevieve: The sign says “Be Best” but it is not anyone’s best.

Kristy: It looks like it was hastily written in giant sharpie. I’m so perplexed by all of it

“Be best. There is no try.” “There is no effort.” “There is no thought” “There is maybe opioid abuse and a pee tape.”

BE BEST

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.