If you use commas when you should use periods or don’t use commas when you should, you make it sound like the speaker is moving very fast and in too much of a rush to speak correctly, they can’t breathe, they’re overwhelmed, they’re scared and if you don’t use any punctuation at all you force the reader to read faster and faster based on how long it’s been since the last pause it can build up to a crescendo of panic and tension you can build it up more withwordsthatblendtogether — or a sudden stop. Short. Phrases. Punctuated by periods. Give the reader a chance to breathe for a second, before you slowly build up again — or you can use em dashes — to illustrate — panting breath — or sudden movements.

You can and should break grammar rules. But you should do it for a reason, and you have to know the rules before you can break them.

So study grammar. It’s good for your writing.

Stories: You see those little things at the bottom of the page, with the blue letters and stuff? Yep, that's the writing I'm putting out there for the world. Lucky you, world. So . . . here's a brief description for each of them (in chronological order, approximately). I might be harsher on them than I should be, but everyone is their own worst critic.

1. Genesis (February 2006 - November 2006):

The story of an evil relic as it corrupts the innocent who carry it . . . wow, this sounds like Lord of the Rings. Awkward. Anyway, it’s a look at the pre-OOT generation of Zelda characters, mainly Impa, Zelda’s parents (Daphnes and OC), Nabooru, and Ganondorf. It’s my very first story, so it’s not fabulous, but I’m working on fixing it up so it’s not embarrassing. Chapters 1-11 have been updated/edited, and each broken up into two sections. Which means that technically the first 22 chapters you read are edited. The cover was made by myself, using the following images: the font from cooltext, the Triforce found on Google, the skeleton also found on Google, Ganondorf by warningyou, Nabooru by Wictorian-Art, young Impa created on RPG Heroine Maker, and young Zelda and Daphnes created using Fairytale Scene Maker.

2. The Worst Ever Spy Movie (June 2006):

A random fic about what Super Smash Brothers characters get up to in their downtime. . . . Though this one was written around the same time as Genesis, I actually enjoy it quite a bit. The writing quality is about the same, and the fourth wall has been broken so many times that it's practically nonexistent, but it's a comedy, which is a bit more lenient and thus some of the more cringeworthy phrases are excusable. Overall, this is an fun read, and happens to be one of my favorites (though in no way the best).

3. Insanity (February 2007):

Yuki overhears something he’s not supposed to. . . . It’s odd. It's nonsenical. Another one of those Genesis-era fics, with no real plot or rationale to speak of, it's a silly little piece of crack for those of you who like that sort of thing. I'll admit that I enjoyed writing Yuki as a psycho, because sometimes it’s fun to take your favorite characters and mess with them.

4. A Song of Paris (November 2007):

A poem I wrote whilst being utterly obsessed with The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's about gypsies and gadje (non-Romani) and the different values they hold.

5. Yuki and Kakeru's Cooking Adventure! (December 2007):

Yuki’s relationship depends entirely on his ability to cook. . . . Another humorous little story, though of better quality than anything else written at this point (by which I mean December 2007). Though there’s some awkward wording and adjective bloat, it's cute, it's funny, and I love it. Yuki and Kakeru are extraordinarily fun to write, and overall I'm happy with everyone in this story's characterization (with the possible exception of Machi, who may be a bit too friendly).

6. The Dark Triforce (December 2006 - Present):

The Dark Triforce takes place after Ocarina of Time, and is a Link-and-Zelda-go-on-an-adventure story, this time to destroy the Dark Triforce from Genesis, which is trying to corrupt the world on the orders of an evil(ish) god. . . . This was started before I'd even wrote Genesis and published immediately after its end, so . . . the beginning leaves a lot to be desired. A whole lot. However, as I began to grow into the writer I am now (and I consider myself pretty good, or at least decent), the story's improved greatly. The time between updates for this one is obscenely long, because I have to fill twelve pages before posting because I'm an idiot and decided that was how long to make the chapter length, but it's still being worked on, and will be finished once it and Genesis are edited to a reasonable quality. So far the Prologue has been rewritten.

7. Horton Hears a Who!: Moments of You (April 2008 - Present):

This story follows Mayor Ned McDodd and his childhood friend (and future wife) Sally O'Malley, and their budding relationship. . . . I actually have a 100-percent-or-pretty-darn-close-to-that good fanfic! Hallelujah! This is by far my favorite story (excluding The Dark Triforce for nostalgia's sake (and that the later chapters are, as I said, not bad)). Filled with cuteness, fluff, and humor to the brim in a slightly unusual and childish style. And I'm pretty sure . . . NO MARY SUES! WHOO! That calls for a dance of joy and celebration. The cover image is made by JabberwockyChamber17, who makes literally the cutest Ned/Sally fanart in the world.

8. Dear Marni, I Am So Sorry . . . (April 2009):

Little high school Forestwater watched Repo! The Genetic Opera and fell in love with Nathan. Since then I’ve grown a bit away from that fandom, but this story was an attempt to unpack his and Marni’s relationship, and the night Shilo was born.

9. A Little Glimpse of Leg (July 2011 - Present):

A little experiment in characterization and writing a story that currently has no plot but needs one, this bad boy looks at the lives of Animaniacs! characters ten years after the show ends. (Hint: it’s not very happy.) . . . . It follows in the grand tradition of A! stories that are horribly depressing, and hopefully it lives up to some of the more incredible ones of its genre. All in all, I think it's pretty good so far, and I'm excited to see where it goes. The cover image was created by myself, using the following images with permission: The picture of the Warners by AyakoOtani, the font from cooltext, the image of Minerva Mink by MawsCM, Hello Nurse by crazedg, and Emily (OC) created using a princess maker.

10. Hairdresser (January 2012):

Yakko goes to the hairdresser, and things take a turn for the heartbreaking. . . . Just a little one-shot that's meant to take place before A Little Glimpse of Leg. Yakko's such a cute little lech, isn't he? I wanted to play around with him and the other Warners as kids, though they've never really talked like little kids, have they? It was a character study, I guess you could call it, and a fluff piece that was just fun to write.

11. Makeup (March 2014):

Jack meets a young woman in a bar, and you know there’s only one way this story can go. . . . I actually wrote this a long time ago — probably around the time of Dear Marni . . . It was a bit mean-spirited, perhaps, as I’d written it in response to all those stories in which Jack Sparrow falls in love with a saucy maid, marries her, and lives happily ever after with a bunch of pirate babies; it’s a fun story, and some of those are quite good, but it never seemed very realistic to his character. So I decided to create my own version. Despite being fanfic, it centers around an OC named Catherine, and this is the only thing about the fic that bothers me. There was really no other way to do it, since I was trying to mimic the style of those Jack-marries-end-of-story fanfics, which are almost always from the point of view of the OC, but I never like to do that. I hope it isn’t too boring for readers, in any case. It’s fairly well-written, at least. (Man, I’m really bad at talking up my stories, aren’t I?) The cover was created by myself, using the font from cooltext, the logo from Google (owned by Disney, I’m sure), and the images of Catherine from a game called Portrait Maker.

12. The Countdown (July 2014):

Marco has to tell Jake something, and he knows it’s not going to be pretty. . . . Is it arrogant to say that I’m really, really proud of this story? Because I’m really, really proud of this one. It’s a little melodramatic, but as my beta said, “'Needlessly melodramatic' is Marco's voice.” Chapter “Zero” is possibly one of the finest things I’ve ever written, and while I know the slash is a bit of a stretch, I think I managed to make it pretty convincing. This series is ridiculously close to my heart; I’m a graduate student and still read it every few years or so, I’m saving every book for my children to enjoy, and Marco is on the short list of my favorite characters ever written. Needless to say, this bad boy means a lot to me, and I hope you guys like it. The cover was made using (with permission) this gorgeous image by Schreiend, whose other work can be found here.

13. Disposable (March-April 2015):

Lavender is known as being the Disposable Love Interest in Ron and Hermione's romance, but she always struck me as an interesting, sweet, and emotional young woman. I wanted to make her more than the "anti-Hermione," and see what went on in her head during (and after) her brief appearance in the books. This is what came of it.

By the way, if you feel like seeing more cartoon characters doing all sorts of wacky things, check out my brother Hotel Toon! I'm very proud of him — he's got a hell of an imagination and I wish I could write as fast as he does! — and it'd mean a lot if you could go read and review his stuff.

"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.

A retelling of Fruits Basket through Shigure's eyes: He wants Akito, it is a fact, a way of life, and he is willing to do anything to get his way. Manga-verse. Spoilers. Canon, but showing dark!Shigure. Canon relationships.

As Litwak's Arcade celebrates a retro party, new arcade games from the past are brought back. Unfortunately for some, this includes an unused version of TurboTime. When the new Turbo is forced to live with the consequences of his evil counterpart's actions, he ends up in some very sticky situations, some of which he can't escape from...

In this episode, Gaston plans to marry Rio but she has refused. Gaston then kidnaps her friend Mint to use her for ransom to blackmail her into marrying him. It's up to her along with Bugs, Daffy, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and others to rescue Mint Clark. cartoons used, Rio Rainbow Gate, Looney Tunes, Mario, Flintstones, Beauty and the Beast, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Mickey Mouse.

This is the first episode of Hotel Toon. It's where Toons of all kinds(90s cartoons and before the 90s excluding Anime. Anime from the 2000s are in this too) join together in one big fan fiction series. Episode 1 includes characters from Rio Rainbow Gate, Looney Tunes, Flintstones, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Mario.

Another fanfic prompt challenge; snippets from the series we didn't necessarily get to see in canon. Full description inside - as always, enjoy! And also as always, all thoughts in the form of reviews are welcomed, encouraged, and appreciated!

*Now with 55% more cross-dressing.* Bugs still wasn't sure how exactly it happened, but in the span of about two seconds he had gone from "Lola's not my girlfriend. And she's crazy." to "Lola's crazy. And also she's my girlfriend." In-between scenes from The Looney Tunes Show about Bugs/Lola's wacky, dysfunctional courtship.

In which Gandalf invites half-human, half-Hobbit thief Relly Crillynook to join Thorin Oakenshield and Co. on the quest to reclaim Erebor, an adventure involving stolen forks, burping with dwarves and eventually falling for a certain unassuming and reluctant Hobbit. Bilbo/OC.

Slight AU. No one's at the Warner Bros Studio in the summer. The Warners have begun to grow from kids to teenagers, and Alex's family has to take them in the summer. Now they're going on a road trip. Can Alex survive them? Possible Yakko/OC later.

My first original story. It may similar to others in this universe and been influenced by them but the idea was in my head before I joined Fanfiction. Please read and review! Oh yes, and unfortunately I own nothing. Enjoy!

In a world of pain, fear, and anguish, the Warners find that their only way to survive is by holding on to each other. So to what extent will each one go to protect his or her siblings? Set in Wakko's Wish universe.

1957 A tree in Albania, she said. Straightforward enough, right? Not if someone else got there first. Tom's journey in acquiring the vessel for his fifth Horcrux just got that much trickier. An exploration of White Magic. Canon-compliant. Longshot. OC

It's Marco's b-day, but it's kind of hard to celebrate when you're on a suicide mission to save your alien buddy. So Jake, Tobias, Menderash and Santorelli try to help him let loose with a classic drinking game. Written for The Six Animorphs theme on LJ.

It's the final instalment of DRTL, and Sarah is struggling with her guilt to tell Genie the truth about her past and Lisa is fighting her own inner turmoils. Add in the King of Thieves and an all-knowing Oracle and what do you get? The Final Movie!

...And One Time He Didn't. This is my attempt to do justice to the awesomeness that is Marshall and Lily. Rated M, because L M are frisky! First HIMYM fic, so constructive criticism or feedback of any sort is highly appreciated.

He always closes his eyes as they kiss, as if afraid to see her face so close to his own, as if the reality will be lost if he does... A series of AlWin drabbles and short oneshots. Rated T just in case. All released chapters are K rated so far.

Every generation, a supernatural force chooses kids all over the world to inherit special powers. They are called the Super Children. And the call is about to be answered by three friends. As if their life wasn't weird enough already. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS, PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR UPDATES, THANK YOU.

Oneshot KimiNao, at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been married. Honestly, he thought he was beyond this. He'd learned manners. He'd figured out how to control his temper. "I'M NOT STRESSED!" ...selfish people...

The girls are back! Al and Lisa are taking down baddies and Genie is coming home. Things couldn't be better. Right? Wrong! Genie is ignoring Sarah and Iago is drving Lisa nuts! And now, Jafar is back! Can the Lisa and Sarah get outta this one? Follows RoJ

OneShot AayaMine, at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been wed. Congruent triangles coincide identically when superimposed. She couldn't imagine Ayame learning how to dance, it was just something he'd always known how to do. Contagious Concepts pt 9

OneShot HanaKazu, at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been wed. Normal people often assumed she didn't have emotions. She couldn't hold it against them. Kazuma on the other hand... Contagious Concepts pt8

OneShot AkiGure At the inn where Kyo and Tohru have been married. He's sick of being used, sick of never getting what he wants. He wants her to finally learn. Shigure loves her and he hates her. Theres something in the air. Contagious Concepts pt7

OneShot TorixMayu, at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been wed. She'd never felt this inadequate before. "Are we keeping secrets from each other now, Mayu?" Why had it never occured to her before? Contagious Concepts pt6

A modern retelling of the Disney, set in modern-day Quebec. Welcome to NDCHS, home of a tyrannical VP, a handful of rebellious Romani drama kids, a charming but befuddled football captain, and a new student unlike anything the school's ever seen. Edited!

Mike didn't exactly plan to spend his Friday night with Jacob Black, but when you're in that long movie line, sometimes there's nothing better to do than talk. Jake and Mike friendship fic, in-between New Moon and Eclipse. Oneshot. Gift for Forestwater.

OneShot KisaxHiro, at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been married.He cursed himself. He cursed traditional Japan for making such ridiculous embarrassment-prone pants. He cursed gravity. He cursed her. He took it back. Contagious Concepts pt 5.

OneShot RinxHaru, taking place at the inn where Tohru and Kyo's wedding has elapsed. Rin's been running, but its always his name on her lips. Now is the time to confront him once and for all... Something's in the Air. Part 4 of Contagious Concepts. R&R!

OneShot YukixMachi, taking place at the Inn where Tohru and Kyo have been married. Yuki reflects on what he has gained from his relationship with Machi and finds himself pleased. Something's in the Air. Contagious Concepts part 3! R&R

OneShot AriKure, taking place at the inn where Tohru and Kyo's wedding has elapsed. He loves how practical and impractical she can be... Something's in the Air. Part 2 of Contagious Concepts. R&R! M to be safe, post-curse.

He's always glancing her way, but I'm the one fighting for his attention. Why can't he see past her, and just give up on a lost cause? I'm here, Mike. I've always been here. Jessica's POV. Mike x Jessica oneshot, with some Mike x Bella and Edward x Bella.

OneShot KakeruxKomaki, taking place at the inn where Tohru and Kyo's wedding has elapsed. Kakeru and Komaki have an important conference with some communication issues and romance... Something's in the Air. Part 1 of Contagious Concepts. R&R!

He turned around, wiping off his razor. The tray slipped from my fingers and gave out a spectacular crash. Todd’s head snapped up and his eyes locked with mine. Both of our eyes were incredibly wide, his from shock, mine from sheer horror. No S&OC romance

The mayor, thanks to Jojo and Dr.LaRue, is transported to the jungle of Nool, seeing an old friend for the first time. But all is not well in the jungle, and it's up to the mayor and all of Who-ville to return a favor and help save Horton's home.

Motoko Minagawa decides to get rid of her competition for Yuki once and for all. How? By pitting the two girls against each other. Chaos ensues. Yuki x Motoko, Yuki x Machi, Yuki x Tohru. A silly oneshot.

Follow the journey of orphans Sarah and Lisa as they are magically whisked away into the wonderful world of Agrabah. There, they meet up with Aladdin. With his help can they find hope, happiness and maybe even love? Follows the first Aladdin movie.

It's the worst take of the theme song ever! Who knew that because one person, who wasn't even in the title sequence, could make such a big impact on the show! WARNING crazy misfortune and near death expirence. first A! story so bare with me Newly edited!

HP/MST3K X-Over. What happens when Mike Nelson and his wise-cracking robot buddies get hold of the DVD of "Order of the Phoenix?" It gets the typical Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment, of course. A few suggestive mature themes.

Ave. Q Quickie oneshot before my next story comes out. Rod goes to college expecting nothing but work. He is surprised when he gets a roommate who believes in everything but. Not exactly R/N, but Rod is kind of figuring himself out.

Avenue Q- Nicky receives a reality check from Princeton. He's never imagined moving away from Rod, and when Princeton warns him that he will one day have to move into his own place, Nicky tries to imagine life without Rod, and confusion ensues. R/N

Life in the Court of Miracles is boring! Herlikin is sick to tears of the same old routine. So why not stir up a little excitement? It has unexpected consequences. Another archived 1999 fic, complete with flaws, warts and all. :

One afternoon, on the streets of Paris, Clopin's shoes are muddied, much to his chagrin. But a poor gypsy can hardly afford new shoes - how shall he acquire a new pair? Another fic from 1999, flawed but with sentimental value.

The story of a young Romani girl betrothed to the King of Thunes, Clopin, and their life together. This story is positively ancient written in 1999 and has A LOT of flaws, but at readers' request I am archiving it here. Enjoy!

[Oneshot] 'She sees him at a party one day, in a haze of smoke and something else that good girls shouldn’t know. But Petunia’s stopped being a good girl years ago, so it doesn’t really matter that she does.'

The Warners are taken aboard a pirate ship! Destined to North Africa to complete a deal, the Warners must help the pirates. Or die. Deep sibling love and heartstopping twists and turns danger and adventure are all present.

What fate awaits our favorite pirate beyond the mortal plane? To what afterlife will he be sent? And might he have something to say about the final decision? Of course he does... he's Captain Jack Sparrow. Humorous little oneshot. Enjoy.

In which evil, or at least the trail of retribution, is traced from Edward desperately seeking refuge to Alphonse seeking revenge and, eventually, the devil incarnate and his best friend's camera are identified.

In a future where the Yeerks have won, the Animorphs have been split up, and Jake lives every day wishing he were dead, one chance encounter pushes him to fight back and to live on. [JakexMarco, oneshot, Jake POV, angst, AU]

The Festival of Fools proves to be a trap, laid by Clopin in order to kidnap Justice Claude Frollo. But why would the gypsies want Frollo alive? This was written for my good friend as part of an artwork exchange. She requested what has to be one of the on

The Animorphs were being assaulted phsyically and mentally by this war with the yeerks, but it wasn't until this class that they finally tipped over the edge. SEX ED. Completed One-shot with a strong PG-13. For real, dudes.

(Rooster Teeth's "Camp Camp") He wasn't a Time Lord, or a vampire, or even the ghost of a duke. But he had big eyes and big hands and a smile that was earnest and quietly devastating, if you were into that kinda thing. Besides, he was the only person in half a mile older than 15 and younger than 50. So what if he was a little insane? She wasn't all that normal either. (GwenxDavid)

Yakko is a cop in NY, doesn't drink, and never touches anyone except to shake hands. He's a good boy, and though toons call him a traitor, at least he has food on his table. And to think, all it had cost him were his sibs...You really do get used to anything, I guess. Just ask Minerva Mink. T for sexual references and for being dark/angsty. (Hello Nurse also a major character)

"Maybe she was disposable. Even her life was expendable, she was quickly — and painfully — learning. No sunset rides for her, no The One, no grand victory party with champagne and confetti. It was a pretty shitty destiny, all things considered. If a book had ended this way, she would've been very unsatisfied."

"Sally turned to see large gray eyes and a friendly, gap-toothed smile inches away from her face. With a yelp, she leapt backward, dropping her lunchbox. The boy scrambled to pick it up and tripped, sprawling across the road." So it begins. NedxSally.

Some people think that makeup is just another way to lie, a false face created to trick men and disguise one's true visage. That might be so, darling, but there are plenty of other ways to deceive. And Captain Jack Sparrow knows them all.

The three goddesses of Hyrule, contrary to popular belief, aren't the only deities. They have two siblings; shunted to the side to rule over ugly and barren domains, they sit in the darkness and plot their revenge, beginning with a relic meant to counter their sisters' most powerful token. And if innocent people have to suffer for the cause, what is that to a god? Prequel to OOT.

I don't want to love her. It's a horrible thought, but I wish I hated her. I wish that I could look at her dead body and laugh, feel relief that she's gone, or even feel indifferent. Oh, Marni's dead? How sad. What a shame. Tough break. But I can't.

In a land where evil lies just below the surface, when good is little more than a lie, there is an unwilling hero, thrown into a fate he never wanted, trying to save the people who matter the most. Post-OOT.

Two sides of a coin: Gadje and Rom, ice and fire, power and love. One exists to get ahead in life. The other exists to live. The princess and the gypsy stroll the streets of Paris, never touching, but affecting each other all the same. Disney-based.

Yuki was walking down the hall when he heard voices. He stopped at the door they were coming from. Inside was a group of girls. On the board were the words, Yuki Fan Club. Listening, his eyes grew wide with horror. What will happen now? Insanity, duh! (WARNING: The crackiest of all crackfics)

Link is dared to create a movie worse than James Bond. And boy, does he ever. This might be the most pointless and silly story to ever have a plot, but what else are video game characters supposed to do in their off hours? They can only Smash so many hours in the day, and they get bored.