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> CHESTER'S GUIDE TO: <
> Picking Up Little Girls <
> -by Chester the Molester <
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Have you ever hung out around playgrounds wishing you could just sweep some
little girl off of her feet,drag her to some isolated area,and force her to have
sex with you? If you have,you are not alone! There are many people out there
just like you(no joke)! There are even organizations formed for this purpose!
Organizations like the M-B.L.A (Man-Boy Love Association),and my favorite,the
Female Society (aka: United Lesbian Organization,which boasts 762 minor
members!)...boy oh boy,wouldn't I like to get my mits on all that muff?
Anyway,on with the show!
[1] Where to find 'em
Girls 9 and under frequent playgrounds. These types are tight and almost
always bleed (unless her daddy beat you to the pie). I reccomend the use of a
lubricant (ask her her favorite flavor;then tell her to lick it off). I have
found that they have a tendency to yell;just belt 'em across the mouth a couple
of times. Many can be enticed with gifts of candy or the promise of a Cabbage
Patch Doll(which you,of course will not give to them). Still more can be found
in school;when they go out for recess, just grab a couple(bring friends). Many
will not swallow,so unless you wanna see a perfectly good load of jiz spit on
the ground,fuck them 1st mouth later...Just imagine little Sissy's parents'
surprise about 3 months later! hahaha! But actually,you are doing her a
favor!(yes,yes you are!) Just think,in about 5-10 years when shes all grown
up,and her friends are bragging about getting fucked at 15,she can say "Well I
lost it when I was 8!!!"
11-14 year olds:
You can be a loser,and ugly as shit,but most girls between these ages will do
*anything* you want if you seem interesting enough. Take them to a weight
room,and let 'em watch He-Man work out. Let them try to do what you do,and,if
you are not a pussy,they will not be able to lift the "amazing tonage" you have
so easily lofted into the air,thus arousing their interes. in you. Tell them
how you phreak,and run up other peoples fone bills,show them a couple of philes
on how to make bombs, & brag about how you steal software from companies,just
like on WAR GAMES (call up an AE line,and download something + tell them about
the risk you are taking,and about how you spent countless hours hacking at the
system to get the password!) After all this,get them alone for a while(in the
car is good).When you ar2 sure no-one is around,start kissing her and the rest
is history!
15-20 year olds:
Never try to force it on anyone in this age group,you'll probably get a swift
slug in the left testical. There are 3 main types in this age group:
(1) sluts --> wear a ton of make-up,have huge sagging tits,and can be readily
identified by rather large pocket books. To get in the sack with one of these
honeys, just get her alone, pull out your dick and say in a commanding voice:
"SUCK, BITCH" If she looks shocked,break the ice by saying:
"HEY,BUT BE CAREFUL OR HE MIGHT SPIT AT YA'!" or "HIS NAME'S THADIUS,WHAT'S
YOUR'S?" or,if all else fails "PLEASE?"
(2) normal --> wear conservative clothing,always a bra and slip,are very
conservative in wearing perfume or makeup; being the vile pervert you are,these
are the hardest to "sack" and have commonly taken up to 2.5 YEARS to get into
bed. The best and quickest way to get these babes is at gunpoint.
(3) new-wave --> wear that hideous bright clothing that they somehow manage to
look extremely fuckable in.Not always liberal on the makeup line,but you can
smell 'em a mile away. These babes are my personal favorite,as you can leave
'em when ever you want;many will get into 3-somes(bring a frien) .They often
frequent shopping malls,look in stores like: THE GAP,CHESS KING,etc... try to
get a cheer-leader... My favorite pick-up line for this type is: "I've got a
penis,wanna touch it?"
BAIT: candy,money,walkmans,sex-toys,big penises,costume jewelry(tell 'em it's
real),muscles.
GOOD LUCK AND GOOD HUNTIN'!
CHESTER.
^
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