Wednesday, April 22, 2015

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - 'BING'!

'Bad' habits,
addictions, knee-jerk emotional responses, self defeating, long held beliefs
about who you are and who you should be… most of us humans do have a list of these
stumbling blocks.

If you think of
these as behavioral blueprints that have become hardwired rather than just thinking
of yourself as 'lazy' or incapable of change, you create a new way of
perceiving these patterns.

They become
something that was inserted into the system without your conscious intention.

Once you recognize
this, you open the door to consciously deleting them. You are not stuck!

DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to
experiment with some fun ideas...

FEEL THE 'BING'!

THE TRICK IS: AIA - AWARENESS, INTENTION, ATTENTION!

AWARENESS:

Make a list of your current behaviors that are not satisfying to
you. These might include: eating, drinking, interacting with friends,
couples behavior, structuring your time, organization at home and work… think
about it and decide what you really want to change.

Choose one of these
behaviors to focus on.

Now take your
awareness up a notch by 'deconstructing' that behavior. This means 'hearing' the 'BING', the trigger
that opens the program where this behavior is stored.

For example, let's
take organization - putting things away or throwing out things you really no
longer need.

Feel the moment when
the hardwired 'program' begins… you might be thinking, "Hmmm that’s a lot of
stuff. I could get rid of some of it…" and suddenly you change your mind
and decide to leave the mess and go for a walk instead.

This is the 'BING'
moment. Feel it!

INTENTION:

Now
ask yourself if you want to continue on default or if you want to change this
pattern.

This step is really
crucial.

Ripping out a
hardwired program is challenging. Without
strong INTENTION it is really tricky.
What does intention mean to you?
Perhaps that strong, overriding "I WANT!" that we hear out of
the mouths of two year olds?

ATTENTION:

This is the 'put it in motion' stage of the plan.

Now you are alert
and tuned into the 'BING' you listen for it, feel it, and fight the pull of the
old hardwiring.

You tell yourself,
"No, I do not have to be controlled by that old pattern!"

You allow yourself to stop in your tracks and
PAY ATTENTION to the tug of the old and give yourself permission to do the new!

"Carol's progress is steady. We feel she should practice control of her giggling." -4th Grade

Carol is a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City. She's been doing this forever - and still loves it! How many other jobs allow you to listen to fascinating stories and help solve problems? Oh, yeah, I guess she could have been a detective (can't shoot, hates sneaking around and besides, they can't tell people what to do - oh, right, she doesn't either...)

Seriously Speakingwhat she enjoys most about her work is being part of a process of transformation and learning.