Make no bones about it

Last Thursday workers at Edinburgh’s Waverley Station blocked off an area of the parking compound ready for resurfacing work. When they turned up for work the following morning however, a Mercedes had parked in the middle of the cordoned-off area. Undeterred, the crew dug up the surface all around the dark blue car. Workers did build a tiny ramp in front of the car to allow its owner to drive away on his or her return, but at the time of writing there is no news that the obviously embarrassed driver had reclaimed their vehicle.

And today it has been confirmed that a skeleton found beneath a Leicester car park is that of English King Richard III. The skeleton has revealed that he suffered from severe scoliosis and although around 5ft 8in tall (1.7m), the condition meant he would have stood significantly shorter and his right shoulder may have been higher than the left. Experts from the University of Leicester said DNA from the bones matched that of descendants of the monarch’s family. Lead archaeologist Richard Buckley told a press conference to applause: “Beyond reasonable doubt it’s Richard.”

Which brings me to one of my favourite car parking jokes:

Q: What do men and parking spaces have in common?

A: The good ones are always taken and the free ones are either very small or handicapped. BOOM!!!!!