Saturday, December 06, 2014

Overheard at Big XII Conference HQ

"So there are 4 teams allowed in the playoff."
"Right."
"And we're gonna have two teams that will have 1 loss each?"
"Right."
"And the playoff says they value conference championships?"
"Right."

"Do we have a conference champion?"
"Well, if everything goes as planned, that'll be Baylor."
"But Baylor's the one that's not currently in the playoff."
"I know."
"That's not fair."
"I know. So they should have Baylor in there instead of TCU."
"Why would they do that?"
"Because Baylor's going to be conference champion."
"But they'll both have one loss."
"Yeah, but Baylor beat TCU. So they're the champs."
"Show me where it says that."
"Right here in our conference rules."
"Who came up with that stupid rule?"
"You did, sir."
"Well, it's stupid! We should have both teams in the playoff! Because they both have one loss!"
"Didn't you say that it would be unfair for the SEC to have two teams in the playoff?"
"Shut up! Here's what we're going to do. We're going to declare...co-champions! That's it! They'll have to let both of our champions in!"
"And then are you going to tie up Batman and Robin and trap them in a giant sno-cone maker, sir?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Never mind. It's a stupid plan, sir."
"No it's not! It's brilliant! They want champions, we'll give them champions! Everyone's a champion! I feel like Oprah! YOU get a conference championship! And YOU get a conference championship!"
"Doesn't that kind of cheapen the championship, sir?"
"Screw that. Do you have any idea how much a berth in the playoff is worth?"
"...point."