Fuck. The noises. I… I can't take it. Couldn't he have come up with another two-way forward? Pavel Datsyuk? Ryan Kesler?

This would be like my girlfriend telling me that she cheated on me with slightly younger, less successful (conjure up images of someone less successful than a stay-at-home blogger) version of myself. Then why did you do it? If this doesn't end in a three-way with Stamkos, we're finished!

I think I may have mixed analogies there…

Anthony SanFilippo posted audio of Holmgren's post-press conference press conference (listen to it after the jump). The original press conference, the one that everyone was there to see, was quite possibly the worst information gathering session in the history of sports. Something tells me the Flyers told folks not to ask about Richards, Carter, Stamkos, et. al. Of course, we did get to witness all three of the new Flyers wearing the same one-shoulder striped Adidas golf shirt. Much different than Carts' usual press conference attire- white v-neck: #differentdirection

Listen to the audio after the jump. It starts out with Heartless Homer.