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Dishmaster and servant

On Sunday, however, I — once again — rebuilt it. (Insert Steve Austin metaphor).

I had to pull the entire thing just to get the plastic washer thingy out on the hot-water side. Last time I did this, I also couldn’t get it out, but Ilene figured that if I hit it from behind (insert non-Steve Austin metaphor), it would pop right out. Worked both times.

I got a look at the valve seats, and they were more than shot. I had already gotten new ones (as with all Dishmaster parts, they must be Dishmaster brand — nothing else fits). But there was nowhere for the valve-seat wrench to grab onto (I have a special tapered wrench — gets troublesome valve seats out easier than the square-ended wrenches). Turns out you have to remove the valve seats from behind (insert appropriate joke). It’s notched back there, but the valve-seat wrench still wouldn’t grab.

So Ilene looks and says, “Try a screwdriver.” I’ll admit, I was thirsty, but she mean the tool, not the cocktail. So I did, and wouldn’t you know it, a standard slotted screwdriver fit right in there, and I pulled the two valve seats. The new ones go in with a supplied allen wrench — thank God and the Dishmaster company.

I got the whole thing back together, and the leaking from the spout and the hot and cold valves themselves stopped.

But it still leaked from the joint where the spout turns. I’ve rebuilt it once before, and I had the kit ready to do it again. I took the spout off, but in the interest of eating dinner, put it back on. I tightened it a bit (you need to leave a little play so the thing turns — kitchen faucets are a bit more complex than their bathroom bretheren).

Still leaked.

But later I gave it a tweak the other way, loosening a bit, and the leak stopped.

The ultimate test: Hooking up the portable dishwasher. Under dishwasher pressure, lesser faucets will leak like rusty buckets, but the Dishmaster held.

Today … not leaking. But we have ants. Are they coming through the holes from which the pipes emanate?

And every day I’ve been fishing from between one and three crickets out of the sink, their overnight holding pen after they, too, presumably escape from those same holes. Come to think of it, we haven’t had overly loud crickets chirping all night from their space in the wall right below the faucet (knock on the backsplash the lead cricket will stop … for 2 seconds).

Maybe the crickets were eating the ants. Hmmm. Damn circle of life — DAMN YOU!!!!