Alabama State Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin Says Abortions Remove A Woman’s Largest Organ & 5 Other Politicians Who Are Clueless About The Female Body

In shocking news to everyone, as a fetus you were your mother’s largest organ! Or at least that’s what Alabama State Representative Mary Sue McClurkin (R) is now claiming.

The bill she introduced this week requires a series of demanding requirements of abortion clinics who perform this “big surgery.” According to the Huffington Post, these regulations could potentially close the sparse five remaining abortion clinics in Alabama. The Montgomery Advertiser reports that the bill:

“Would require physicians at abortion clinics to have admitting privileges at local hospitals; require clinics to follow ambulatory clinic building codes and make it a felony — punishable by up to 10 years in prison — for a nurse, nurse practitioner or physician’s assistant to dispense abortion-inducing medications”

Rep. McClurkin’s reasoning for such harsh new regulations: the removal of an organ is a serious surgery, and by her estimation a child is an organ. Rep. McClurkin’s assertion is ridiculous for so many reasons.

First let’s define “organ.” According to Merriam-Webster an organ is “a differentiated structure … consisting of cells and tissues and performing a specific function in an organism.” Examples include your heart or liver. Last I checked, oh, basic biology, babies do have their own sets of organs. However, fetuses are not vital to the operation of the human body. If that were true, women were really only fully functioning people for nine month periods of pregnancy, non-functioning bots before they get their first periods and are able to bare children, and I suppose men are never fully operational as they never carry the “baby” organ?

Also, does that mean that in labor women are actually expelling their largest organ? When does a fetus cross over from organ-hood to personhood? Does that mean that midwives and people wanting home births or women who go into labor before they can make it to a hospital could be committing a crime? Might want to think twice people of Alabama, your selected birthing plan might not meet “ambulatory clinic building codes.”

Come on Mary Sue, every biology student learns that the largest organ in the body is your skin! Skipped that class? Well, read this National Geographic article and catch yourself up.

Some abortions are non-surgical! You’ve heard of the abortion pill, no?

What’s more of a “big thing” than a legal abortion performed at one of Alabama’s clinics? An unsafe illegal abortion not at a clinic! Or the mental or physical suffering of a woman denied an abortion! Forgot about that one, didn’t you?

In a hilarious twist, according to the Huffington Post, she is actually undermining other attempts to limit abortions, and some forms of birth control. Republicans in other states are arguing that fetuses are people and have introduced a series of “personhood” amendments to limit abortions. You, my dear Mary Sue, have just flipped it and reversed it. Good luck trying to argue both sides of that one!

Sadly, Rep McClurkin is not the first politician to redefine a woman’s biological functions. Take a look at our slideshow of other politicianss who have decided to straddle the lines of “biological science” above!

Comments

Simply Irresistible

Over the years, we've poked fun at a lot of "based on a true story" movies that turned out to be bullshit. But then we thought that maybe we should stop giving Hollywood shit for embellishing history a bit if it lets them tell a slightly better story. So instead, we decided to give Hollywood…

As you slog your way through the myriad not-yet-April Fools' Day pranks that plague this nation, revel in this: no one has ever pranked someone better than Michael Jackson pranked Russell Crowe, and he did it for years. In an interview with The Guardian, Crowe revealed that despite having never met Jackson,…