‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Finale Recap: And The Next Supreme Is…

The ladies of ‘American Horror Story”s Coven have been warring over this Supreme business all season, and a champion was finally crowned during the Jan. 29 finale.

It’s time to say goodbye to American Horror Story: Coven, and after months of sparring and speculation, the Supreme was finally revealed during the season finale, “The Seven Wonders.” Find out who stole the crown below!

‘American Horror Story: Coven’ — Cordelia Is The Next Supreme

Well, we all sort of guessed that we should expect the unexpected, right? So, I guess Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) “Scabby Eyes” Foxx beating out the young guns for the title of Supreme was… expected?

Regardless, I certainly did not expect her to breeze through the Seven Wonders like they were the first level of Angry Birds. (The rest of the women struggled through the Wonders, like they were the first level of Flappy Bird.) Six of the seven Wonders actually didn’t seem so bad — telekinesis, mind control (concilium), transmutation, pyrokinesis, bringing s–t back to life (vitalum vitalis), and finding lost s–t in pebbles (divination) — but the seventh, Descensum, was awful.

Each witch had to descend into their own personal hell and return unscathed in a very short amount of time, which was pretty easy for Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) since she did it last week. Madison’s (Emma Roberts) off-screen hell sounded the worst — she had to spend eternity in NBC’s live remake of The Sound of Music — but Misty’s was the only one that took a life. Ugh. Misty. Does anyone else feel like her character was built up to be this big giant deal, and then she just… wasn’t? At all? I don’t know. Her sudden, unceremonious death after months of character build-up felt anti-climactic for me, and literally no one seemed to care. It almost feels like Misty’s sole purpose on Coven was to get Stevie Nicks on the show, which is frustrating since Lily Rabe is capable of so, so much more. (As we saw during Asylum.)

Of course, her death also begged the question — does Ryan Murphy have something against “M” names? Yes Myrtle (Frances Conroy) — my precious, beautiful flower — chose to die to protect the integrity of the Coven (and Cordelia’s political reputation) after she killed the council-folk to help Cordelia, and you could definitely argue that Madison had it coming, but still. I’m on to you, Murphy. Though Myrtle screaming “Balenciaga” as her last word before she burned (again) kind of made it all worth it, so I suppose all is forgiven.

Anyway, after Misty turned to ash and no one cared, Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) was next to go when she failed the transmutation portion by accidentally teleporting straight to the top of Robichaux’s spiky fence. Unfortunately, so many characters have died and come back this season that her death packed absolutely no punch, since it was pretty clear that she’d be back in ten minutes. (She was.) Madison’s death also lacked a certain joie de vivre, mostly because Kyle and Spaulding hid her body immediately after Kyle strangled her so the whole thing was basically a giant non-event. (Though I guess it was nice to see Kyle actually do something that mattered? Maybe?) Absolutely no one — except for maybe TMZ — will miss her, so the Seven Wonders went on like she (and Misty) had never even existed. Weird. (Though I guess everyone had already forgotten all about LaLaurie and Laveau too — this has been a huge season for getting rid of major plot lines instantaneously then sweeping them under the rug like they never happened.)

Of course darling Myrtle was the one who realized that Cordelia was the one true Supreme, noting that because her mother had suppressed her so much her entire life, her power had been disseminated into the other girls. And after Cordelia brought back Zoe and made Queenie dance like Taylor Swift at an awards show, it was clear that the boss was back in business — she even regained her sight, since health and vitality go hand in hand with being Supreme. (ASIDE: Were they purposefully ugly-ing up Sarah Paulson all season because she looked absolutely radiant last night, and stole every scene for the first time since Asylum.)

Speaking of health and vitality, Fiona (Jessica Lange) was (ugh) still alive, as many of you probably expected. (They sure did suck the life out of death this season, didn’t they?) Luckily, they didn’t give her much to do — with a new Supreme risen, it was time for Fiona to go, so she showed up looking shockingly bald and brittle to make peace with death (and her daughter). Cordelia held her as she passed and I guess it was sort of touching, but had Fiona known what was coming, she probably would have murdered her own kid to avoid it. Much like LaLaurie and Laveau, Fiona ended up in hell — only hers was an eternity of boredom and catfish with the Axeman which, to me, is not nearly as offensive as an eternity in a cage watching your daughter get anally probed by your enemy for the rest of eternity. Either way, Papa Legba (Lance Reddick) sure thought it was funny!

Finally, even though beloved characters like Myrtle and Misty passed on, Coven carried on AHS‘ tradition of ending things on a silver-lining note. Cordelia pulled a True Blood and outed the existence of witches to the entire world on CNN, enabling her to discover dozens of nubile young witches to populate Robichaux’s. And Zoe and Queenie served as her council, which was a nice touch I suppose.

In the end, Coven ended very similar to Asylum — for Sarah Paulson’s character, everything finally came full circle. In Asylum, Lana triumphantly freed herself from the decades of pain caused by her son, while in Coven, a glowing Cordelia was finally able to move on from the crushing weight that was a life living under her mother’s shadow. I’m really happy that we (and Cordelia) were able to get to this point, I just wish that we hadn’t taken so many unnecessary shortcuts (the witch hunters, Patti Lupone, endless reincarnations, etc.) along the way.

But enough about me. What did you think of the Coven finale, friends? Were you satisfied by the season as a whole? Let me know in the comments!