Just saw ‘It Follows’ last night, and will probably mentioning that particular movie when we get around to our next podcast episode (which we will get to), but in the middle of watching It Follows…for some reason, I was reminded of Witchboard. At first I thought ‘well…can’t feature that movie. I’m pretty sure I already have.’ Browsing through the archives…I realized, to my utter shock and horror…that I haven’t. So here it is, my selected horror flick of the week…WITCHBOARD!

From what I have read, at their premiere release of Witchboard, audience members were given a glow-in-the dark Ouija board to take home with them. I am not sure if that is true, as the source I read this on years ago is unconfirmed, but I’d like to imagine they did something campy and fun like that. To match the campy and fun atmosphere the movie itself has.

Sometimes I get grumpy when a movie has nothing but jump scares. As a horror nerd, of course you’d expect this elitist view from me…expecting plot and character development, atmosphere, and actual thought. But when I just want to have fun, I do enjoy a movie packed with stupid jump scares. Witchboard is just that kind of movie, though sometimes the music does make your neck hairs rise a bit. There’s even a legitimately surprising death scene or two. Witchboard was clearly not a victim of micro-budget, because the cinematography holds up. It was only a victim of the 1980s, and in my mind…that’s one of the reasons it’s so charming.

If you’re looking for a movie to watch with friends, Witchboard is perfect, and the story line is pretty simple: girl meets boy, boy turns out to not really be boy, man hires psychic to talk to boy who isn’t a boy, girl finds ring in sink, girl gets possessed by non-boy boy….etcetera etcetera. Be sure to watch it with the lights off, though, and minimal talking. You’re sure to get a little bit scared of picking up your next Ouija board.

Okay, I guess you were wondering when I’d get around to this one. I mean, what list of scary board games is complete without something marketed to children that clearly encourages them to contact the dead and other questionable entities, provided they exist and aren’t moving it? The concept itself is pretty disturbing.

Of course, Parker Bros didn’t invent the Ouija board. ‘Modern Spiritualism’ kinda did most of the work, and Parker Bros just slapped their brand name on it.

If you need me to explain the concept, here it is: you use a planchette (a small triangular piece of wood or cardboard, generally with a hole in the top) to receive messages from THE OTHER SIDE. You move it around on a cardboard (or wood) board with letters and numbers on it, sometimes even the words ‘hello’ and ‘good-bye’ scrolled at the upper left and right-hand corner. There’s also a ‘yes’ and ‘no’ somewhere on there, just for those of us who are too impatient to let the word spell itself out.

I can’t confirm whether it does or doesn’t exist. There’s questionable evidence on both sides. If you’re in a group of people who really commit, and refuse to move the planchette, but just let it ‘move’, you may have some tedious fun. Usually, though, the case is that there’s some joker in the group who either can’t wait or wants to mess with everyone else by pushing it to their own answers.

The Ouija Board has been around so long, and been so popular throughout the years, that there are a thousand different incarnations, whether Parker Brothers or not. They range from the cheap and tacky to the incredibly ornate and gorgeous, as well as everything in-between. My personal favorite is a miniature one that came with my precious dvd ‘Witchboard’. Heck, you can even use the cover itself.

I don’t advise playing with this game if you aren’t prepared for something to happen, or if you’re so prepared that you’ve got satanic symbols scrawled on your wall with the black mass being perpetually looped on your computer…y’know…just in case something does happen. Winky face, grin. I do not use emoticons, so you’ll just have to accept the verbal description of my facial expressions.

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