Remember a few years ago when someone invented "invisible" plastic bra straps? Despite the fact that a perfectly serviceable invisible strap bra, aka the strapless bra, had already been in use for decades, the "invisible" plastic bra strap was a revelation. It was a genius innovation, obviously, because making something plastic renders it completely invisible. (This is why Kim from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta appears bald–Plastic Barbie hair = invisible hair–and why stealth bombers are now made entirely out of recycled stretchy plastic invisible bra straps.) For an entire summer, you could spot an idiot from many yards away, their "invisible" shiny plastic bra straps glinting in the sunlight. Neon bra straps with built in sirens would have been more subtle.

But unnecessary innovation marches on! Just think of all the other products that could be re-invented in uglier, less useful forms. Take, for instance, the belt. What if you wanted to prevent your pants from falling, but also look really stupid at the same time? Yes, you could just get one of those LED message belts, but what if you wanted to trick other stupid people into thinking you weren't wearing a belt at all? One (thoroughly idiotic) compound word: IsaBelt.