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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Before you give me a hard time for posting more Dad Wrecks, you should note that:

a) It's really *your* fault for not submitting these earlier, and

b) See point 'a'.

Besides, it's not like there's anything here that really screams "Dad", you know?

Ok, well, except for that plastic thing.

And maybe the golf clip art.

But the actual cake? That's just screaming, "For the love of Sweet Duncan Hines, WHAT AM I?!?"

If only I knew, little Wreck. If only. I. knew.

Here's how you tell Pop you're on to all those Christmas shenanigans of his:

Yeah. Watch your back, "Santa."

And then there's the weird stuff.

"I do the weird stuff!"

For the record, there is no combination of the words "king, fish, dad, dad" that makes even the remotest hint of sense. None. King fish dad dad? King dad fish dad? Dad king fish dad? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

[patting down hair] Ahem.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that the yellow fish/dad/king/thing looks just as confused as I am. It's like he understands my pain. Yeah. So thanks, fish/dad/king/thing.

Say, here's an aspect of father/child bonding you don't see often:

A shared love of cycloptic mutant bunnies.

(Yes, I *did* just make Cyclops into an adjective. Trust me, it's going to fill a void in your vocabulary you never even knew was there. You'll see.)

And finally, the most horrifying Father's Day Wreck I've seen all week, hands down:

You know, something about that icing seems off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, maybe the Wreckerator was all thumbs, and so decided to just slap on a digit-al design. In that case, you gotta admit: s/he nailed it.

Okay, I admit to being weird. I actually get #1. Y - as in the Y chromosome that makes a guy a guy. At the school where I work, that's what we blame all of men's problems on - a defective Y chromosome.As for #4, that's absolutely NOT the cyclops that I saw, and what I saw was more inappropriate than ANY wreck so far this week!!! I guess my mind has hit the gutter early today.

As someone who regularly bakes with a four year old, I could tell what those cakes were no problem. (I cheated and asked him.) Y says yuh yuh yo-yo (tie?), a beehive (bbq apron?), a fishie cracker, a tree (tie?), and what every cake looks like at my house when left unattended.

Well that first one is a testicular cancer cake. The second one I don't get. What does a bee hive and a fork and knofe have to do with Santa? The one with the "fish" is obviously a mistake. It's one of those cakes made for mafia dads and it was supposed to say King Pin. The one with the "bunny" is soooo not a bunny! It's a dress for drag queen dad. Duh! And the last one is..... ewww. It's just wrong. Why is it brown around the edges of the hand! Gag!

Taylor et al, I think you are giving the wreckerator faaaarrr too much credit on the Y chromosome thing. I'm going with a tie, too.

As for the second cake, after looking at it for a while I'm reminded of cakes I've seen in the archives here: I think it's supposed to be a grill (there's the propane tank, though otherwise it looks like a charcoal grill [bravo, wrecker] and the plastic utentils to represent grill tongs and such). Yikes.

(hahaheehee) My co-worker has one of those painted hand prints from her kid to remind her what he was like "when I was that small." To find a honking huge print on your Father's day cake, (haha) when it's not even your kid's, just makes me giggle from the sheer randomness of the design.

Not to mention the eye-searing tie colors, the "king fish dad dad" mystery (would make a great t-shirt caption, no?), and the Christmas BBQ grill.

I thought the first one was a Y chromosome immediately. That didn't explain the awful spray pattern, and it gave the wreckerator too much credit, but still, that is what it clearly appeared to be. That is until I read someone's comment about it being a tie. Yep, that garish spray plaid pattern is definitely the sign of a tie. The frosting even forms a tiny tip at the end. I knew I shouldn't have been reading science into a wreck!

The first one might be a golf tee (too go w/ the theme)...though could be a necktie...nah golf tee.The second is what looks to be a grill w/ the white blob being the propane tank. The knife and fork are suposed to be grilling tools my guess...The third is just a weird person/thing w/ a crown.The 4th is a necktieThe 5th I'm hoping is the image of a handprint and not the wreckerators!

When looking at wreck 1, my first thought was also golf tee. The other golf contraband would be totally random unless it were a tee. No self respecting wreck would have random plastic ware on it ... erm. wait.

I'd like to call out Melissa, Renee, and Anonymous 1 and 2, and Anissa for spotting the grill in wreck 2. I think that you just might be right...

That top one is either a Y chromosome, a tie (because don't all dads wear a tie while golfing????), or else Dad cheers for the BYU golf team (assuming they have one).Did anyone besides me see a decapitated angel in #4?

I am probably being overly optimistic, but I do have a custom cookie cutter shaped like the outline of my child's hand. Maybe they have a handprint cutter they used as a stencil for the frosting? Because I *really* don't want to consider the alternative.

ok, I know #1 is supposed to be a tie, but my first thought in a pictionary kind of way was, "Y Chromosome!" I don't understand the saddle shoes....

(note how the Y is further emphasized by the extra Y drawn on it in icing, before the airbrushed "pattern." For the love of cake, WHY?)

#2: headless santa? Santa's butt with his buckle on backwards? a lumpy barbecue grill? a UFO? another cryptic CCC...what's with the white blob? also, if CCCs are supposed to not require cutlery, why are there a plastic knife and fork stuck to it? and why are they dangling from Santa's belt? he eats cookies, for pete's sake! Maybe Santa wants to BBQ...

#3 is not a fish. a yellow lamb head, a smiley face with arms and legs, whatever--but not a fish! He actualy reminds me of a character from the Mr. books, like Mr. Happy, but with blobular appendages instead of scrawny arms and legs. (though he doesn't look so happy, crown or not...)

#4: how does a snow covered palm tree make sense, or relate to dad? oh, I see. another botched tie. big surprise. They must only know how to draw palm trees (note the flat flared bottom of the trunk instead of a point) and figured a white collar would "make it."

Dr. Grandmom said: OMG!!! Initially I thought the first one was a Y chromosome, but that might mean that the wreakerator knew about the X and Y chromosomes, so I am betting on a tie!?! Today's pictures made me really laugh out loud. Thanks.

I know that the 4th one is supposed to be a tie with shirt collars, but I saw a dress with weird, fancy sleeves. Then when you said "father/child bonding", I was thinking, father and son are both cross dressers?

I think I love the "cycloptic mutant bunny" phrase best of all.

When I first found Cake Wrecks, I went back and read all the older posts, lots at a time. By the time, I got to Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys, I was crying from laughing so much. It was my favorite phrase and I wanted to figure out how to work it into general conversation.

My new fav: Cycloptic Mutant Bunnies. Might have to carve a rubber stamp of that one . . .

So tell me, do you guys think the first cake may have something to do with the “Y” chromosome? Because it is unclear from the comments whether or not each and every last one of you had that identical thought and felt compelled to share it.

Laura, I'm with you. I thought of an IUD right away when I saw the first wreck. I didn't figure out the grill until our fellow Wrecktators brought it to my attention - good call! Today's "cakes" (and I use that term very loosely) are all wrecks, but that last one is just gross - the thought of a stranger putting his/her ungloved hand on my cake gives me the heebee-geebees. Bleh.

Cy·clo·pe·an –adjective 1. of or characteristic of the Cyclops. 2. ( sometimes lowercase ) gigantic; vast. 3. ( usually lowercase ) Architecture, Building Trades . formed with or containing large, undressed stones fitted closely together without the use of mortar: a cyclopean wall.

pretty sure the handprint is not done in brown icing, but that the icing on the cake came away when the wreckerator pulled their hand away (after whatever compelled them to smash it into the icing had subsided), exposing the cake's tender, moist underbelly. poor cake, it's defenses have been penetrated!

You know the bunny one struck me first as a headless angel (I don't know what that says about me or the design) and then I thought of the Liberty bell. So maybe instead of the City of Brotherly Love, it was the City of Fatherly Love for a day?

I like the word 'cycloptic'. It has a better ring than 'cyclopean', which is the dictionary-version of an adjective related to 'Cyclops' (which I only know because H.P. Lovecraft uses it to describe the weird masonry in virtually every story he ever wrote).

So, see? There is a long-standing literary tradition of using 'Cyclops' as an adjective to describe horrifying things!

I was sitting here laughing at the dad/fish/king/dad/thing and 4 year old little girl walks up looks at the yellow...thing and asks what is that supposed to be? Though my laughter I said, "I have no idea." She looked at it cocked her head and said me either its funny. I only laughed harder. She also declared the mutant bunny to be a dress.

aren't hand print gifts reserved for mugs and t-shirts and things youc an keep rather than eat? and aren't they usually of little kids' hands to preserve how small they are? why would anyone want a full size handprint on a cake? and a dirty one at that? (considering the flesh color is spot on)

makes me wonder. is this a joke referring a to a boy who smeared poo on walls during the potty training years? (i know someone who did that) that would explain to the poo smears and the dirty hand. but then writing that he loves dad IN the poo....kind of a mixed message....

the first one is totally a tie... the white cardboard represents the shirt, and the other cupcakes are vaguely buttons!and yeah... I'm glad I'm not the only one who something highly inappropriate in #4...

As a former Anthropology minor I feel I should comment on the first entry. I also believe that it's a tie--the plaid is indeed a dead giveaway. But this leads to further consideration.

How many of the posters on this board, under the age of 45, have ever seen their fathers wear a tie? Very few, unless their Dads were going to a funeral. Now I think what is happening her is that the tie is turning into a symbol that has no connection to its original function. It's slowly becoming an icon. Like Kokopelli who started out as a trader with a back pack who mutated into a hunchback pipe playing god. Future archaeologists will write papers on this strange "y" symbol and will probably assume that it's a representation of a Y chromosome. Dissertations will be written on the subject.

Congratulations on being on the forefront of future scholarly research....

Y chromosome was the first thing to pop into my head on CCC (ptooui) #1.

Thumbs up to Dawn for "headless angel in a second-hand bridesmaid's dress".

Like Anony at 10:13am I thought about a kid's plaster of paris placque (I made one or two in my time as a child) but was horrified at the idea of an adult child doing that for Dad. Little twisted in my opinion.

LOL at the comment suggesting a 'king fish dad dad' t-shirt. That is an AWESOME idea...although it would have to be worked out whether it should be 'king dad fish dad' or 'king fish dad dad'. Still giggling over it though. :)

Oh, and the 1st one looks like a tie to me and the 'santa' one looks like a grill, complete with bbq tools and a propane tank.

My brother used to work in a bakery and a y-chromosome Father's Day cake sounds exactly like the kind of snarky suggestion he'd make to the ditzy cake decorators (at his store, they were all a bit air-headed anyway, not saying that's the norm for the trade). I wish I'd taken photos of the baked "goods" that appeared during his tenure there...

Well, the "king fish dad dad" makes no sense in itself, but maybe it was supposed to be a reference to Huey P. Long, once governor of Louisiana, who was known as the Kingfish. Also, Kingfish is another name for the King Mackerel. It doesn't make the cake any less bizarre, but just a thought that it might refer to Long.

I'm assuming the first one was a tie. Wh-y oh Y, y-ou ask? Simply because if the wreckerator was so clueless they couldn't make a tie properly, it's unlikely that they would know about the y-chromosome. Plus, it's tacky sixties-era plaid, which just screams "dad" to me!

Thanks for the explanation that Santa's actually a barbecue. I don't see it, but I'll go along with hit-- the big guy in red being stabbed in the back was just to distressing a thought.

Saw a headless angel (speaking of distressing!), but love the cyclopic mutant bunny reference. Not sure what it actually is, though!

I actually do see a fish wearing a crown. (should I be worried that today's post feels like a Rorschach test?!) I'm assuming that Dad loves fishing, and the bakery messed up the inscription.

Lastly... that the hand appears like on a steamy mirror is , but the idea's cute. The execution-- I hope they were wearing gloves! And that the health inspector's called in to that bakery pronto!

YES.Thank you for the Dr. Horrible reference, the void in my heart from lack of new episodes can only be filled by small references on blogs (there are a surprising amount out there, and never where I expect them..).

also, i feel stupid now for not figuring out the Y chromosome thing,, apparently I'm not as geeky as I thought D:

I am ashamed to say that I recognized what the first one was within two seconds of seeing it, but it is a tie! Isn't it? Maybe one of those old skinny ties from the 80s? Anyone else see it? Don't leave me hanging...

I think I may have to go bribe these father's day wreckerators to stop making me cry and hide under my bed lol. These things are truly scary and if anyone bought one for their father I hope they ate that cake quickly before he noticed what was on it.. lol.

The King Fish Dad Dad cake left me gasping for breath with my belly fit to bust. The neighbors must think there is a maniac living next door.

There was something a little familiar about the combination of words and it took me a minute to figure it out. There was a song that was played on alternative stations ~ 10 years back with the lyrics " ... space lord mother mother " (altered from more explicit lyrics). Maybe the "artist" was tripping and having flash backs ?

Although it's been said many times now, I just have to say I thought the first one was a Y chromosome, but once it was suggested in the comments I am now convinced the wreckorator thought they were making a tie b/c of the plaid/checkered stripes. The execution is better for a Y chromosome, however.

And....I also thought the cycloptic bunny had to do more with the creation of a child than with lapines...-Andrea

Kingfish used to be a Southern term for big shot, big wheel, a real important guy. Huey P. Long, once governor of Louisiana was nicknamed the Kingfish. The term also was the name of one of the characters on the old Amos and Andy radio program, pre-television.

Guess someone thought their Dad was a big shot, ordered the cake and got - a mutant yellow lamb's head wearing a crown. With li'l legs and arms.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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