7. When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that
her check came back, she replied, 'So did my arthritis.'

8. A man called his mother in Florida, 'Mom, how are you?'
'Not too good,' said the mother. 'I've been very weak.'
The son said, 'Why are you so weak?'
She said, 'Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.' The son
said, 'That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?'
The mother answered, 'Because I didn't want my mouth
to be filled with food if you should call.'

9. A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother
he has a part in the play. She asks, 'What part is it?” The boy
says, 'I play the part of the Jewish husband.' The mother scowls and says,
'Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.'

10. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to
be a nuisance to anybody.

11. Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to
kill us, we won, let's eat.

12. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish
mother on the street and said, 'Lady I haven't eaten in three days.'
'Force yourself,' she replied.

13. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a
Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

I love it!!! Absolutely hilarious! What's scary is that a lot of it rings very, very true for me! (I'm Jewish but always thought I was a "citizen of the world" and had become almost "Hispanic" through marriage, study and profession!!!)