I used to have a schedule for just about everything, but I’m not too good at sticking with any of them. Here’s mine for 2018.

Schedule 2018

I’ve been in a “personal purgatory of self-doubt” these past few months, and I couldn’t figure out why until I stumbled on an article about the insecure person’s personality. And Kapow! there it was. For one thing, I was reacting to the “humble brag” on Facebook. You know the author who “must drag themselves to their next signing.” Sigh. Such a chore. For another, I have a friend whose life is perfect and obviously quite enviable…according to them. How can it be that their life is spot on while mine isn’t?

After I read the article, I committed these quotes to memory:
“The insecure person tries to make you feel insecure yourself.”
“If you don’t feel insecure in general, but only around certain people, it’s likely they’re projecting their insecurities onto you.”
“The insecure person drops the ‘humble brag’ far too often.”

Armed with this information, I have no time for insecurity today, but just in case hugs are needed, here’s one and a quote to help ease anyone through those less than secure moments.

Big Hug Courtesy of Morguefile, rikahi

“People who are constantly bragging about their great lifestyle, their elite education, or their fantastic children may very well be doing so to convince themselves that they really do have worth.” Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., ABPP

As you must know there’s a new anthology arriving in 2018. I love the title. Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime. There were eleven winning entries, and each story while unique had to be based on the Tick Tock theme.

Stop by their blogs and congratulate the winning authors!

I’ll be putting in an appearance, too, [BRAG ALERT!] with my first attempt at something a tad gory. I’m still wondering where that story came from. Maybe some evil lurks in this heart and I’m just getting in touch with it.

Comments

Congratulations on being in this new anthology. I too would find it a challenge to write something gory. I do love murder mysteries and sometimes they can be gory but I do not have a taste for super gory, no slasher or chain saw stuff for me. It does bother me that women are often the victims. Read an interesting article that the Hallmark Channel has been very popular lately. I think people are hungry for good news and happy endings. Not denying that we all have dark sides. And I agree there is a lot of bragging on social media which does not necessarily reflect reality and it’s kind of boring too. Glad I found your blog. <3

Sorry to hear about the crisis of confidence. I used to have a friend who humble bragged all the time to ridiculous levels, and I found myself often feeling resentful and insecure after an evening with her. It took me a while to figure out what the issue was, but now that I rarely see her, I don’t experience those feelings anymore. It’s funny the affect some people can have on us.

If you do read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Manson addresses the problems with our social media culture and the tendency people have to paint their lives as perfect. Interesting read.

I think I could make myself crazy if I were to believe that social media posts truly represented 100% of my friends’ lives. I seem to have a large number of friends who travel to exotic places, and though I love to travel, I rarely have the time or money, and have only gone a couple places in the past few decades. Even so, I remind myself that they live normal lives in the in-between, but they only post the highlights.

I don’t understand why some people feel the need to make others feel . . . less. It certainly doesn’t make me feel any better to know I’ve made someone feel worse.

Congratulations on your foray into the dark side! I’m looking forward to reading that anthology.

Good for you going dark! It’s fun to step away from the usual once in a while.

Those quotes are AWESOME. Being insecure only around certain people is a very telling sign. And whenever someone’s life looks all rainbows and sunshine on the social networks, it completely screams of a need to try to convince themselves more than anyone else.

Congratulations, Lee! I’m honored and thrilled to be sharing the pages of the “time” anthology with you. Sweep the insecurities into the dust bin. You’re doing great. Keep in mind, most people post on FB the things that are going well, the brags, the outings, the accomplishments. We keep the disappointments to ourselves.
Take care and happy reading and writing in 2018!

I was thrilled to see that you are among the writers selected for the IWSG anthology, Lee! Congratulations! I can’t wait to read your story! A hug is always appreciated ~ sending you one in return! All the best in 2018!

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in a self-doubt purgatory, but I’m glad you found something to pull you out of it! Don’t focus on them, focus on yourself. And all the amazing things you’re going to accomplish this year 😉

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. Thanks for the quotes; much needed. Congratulations on your story being featured in the new anthology. I’m so excited. I wish you all the best with your 2018 goals, whatever they may be.

Hi Lee! Thanks for posting the winners for the new anthology. First time I’ve seen it, but I’m not around the blogs much ATM.
Love your quote. I think that nails the bragger. Oh, I’m so glad I don’t get those bragging Christmas letters any more. Sure to make you feel a failure, at least as a mother, if your child didn’t persevere through 3 uni degrees, a master’s and a PHD. Urk!
Happy New Year! I don’t make resolutions, at least out loud, but I have a quiet plan ticking away inside at all times.

Hi Lee – congratulations on the anthology entry … great news: as too its publication … I shall enjoy the read. It’s funny isn’t it – if people constantly talk about how they are etc … shows their lack of sensitivity and insecurity … I’ll be simple and easy going – cheers to you – and here’s to more dark writings in 2018 (well light ones too if you wish!) … Hilary

Congrats to the winners and to you for your honorable mention. And thanks for the quotes. I try not to be insecure but I’m really writing under contract and public marketing events, not that anyone would ask me to do them.

Congratulations to you and all of the winners!
I have fallen both into the trap of saying too much on social media, and feeling left out of the big social loop. It’s a tough balance and it’s tough to know how much to share and when not to. I want to stay positive, so the posts I put out there have a tendency to be on the “yay, we did this” side instead of the “well, today we grumbled at each other, although yesterday we had great family fun.” It’s hard to know how to post the highs and the lows all at once.
Best wishes for happiness, peace, security, joy, and fun writing in 2018!

Oh, I could do a whole gaggle of posts about reading other people’s work and giving up ever writing another word. And now that you’ve called it to my attention, I’m not writing anything more for three days. Thank you.

You know, I don’t know if I humble brag or not. Humility was never a strong point of mine. 🙂 I know I try to talk about the positives on social media, just because if I dwell too long on the negative, I start getting depressed and that’s a nasty spiral I’ve been down too often. I will, however, talk about my woes on my blog. Here’s to a happy and secure new year!

Genuine woes aren’t humble bragging…at least I hope not. I got some woes to share and might just pick the best time. A time when I’m so far behind I can’t possibly catch up and I need to tell everyone why!

Congratulations – and Happy New Year!
I loved this post, it resonates well with what I’ve seen lately on social media and how it makes me feel even when I’m not part of the conversation.
Cheers to confidence and creativity!

I believe there is a lot of truth to that quote. People on Facebook often try to paint their lives as wonderful. It’s an alter-life. Not real. Everyone has problems. When we realize that, we can be grateful for what we have, and do what’s right for us.

It’s definitely a bad strategy to measure ourselves against humble-braggers. I see so many of them during NaNo, the people claiming a bad day was only 35K, or that they only wrote 700K instead of their usual million-plus.

I agree, many people constantly proclaiming how awesome their lives are, or how much such and such a thing matters to them, are really insecure and trying to prove it to themselves.

I like your honesty, Lee. Beware of the writer who has to humbly apologised for being so successful. What they don’t realise is that it shows their insecurities. The one or two books I’ve read that have been penned by you are fantastic. I enjoyed them and I still recommend them to parents who are searching for a good book for their children who are eleven years old and older.
You have a lot to be proud of.
Wishing you all the best for 2018.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat G

I wish I had something to humble brag about right now. I can say for certain that when I do have something to brag about, I err on the side of screaming it to the world, probably because it’s so rare. 🙂 http:/www.raimeygallant.com

This is your first comment, Yolanda. I’m going find out why WordPress is such a @$!! problem for some people to leave a comment. It shouldn’t be that hard. Thanks for the good wishes. I’m hoping both of us have a great 2018.

I needed to drag myself away from running my multi-billion dollar corporation to comment on your post. I’m such a trouper. 🙂

Over the years I have known and worked with dozens of people who engage in humble bragging to make others feel insignificant. That picture of the hugging cats is a keeper, an inspiration to us all as we plow through a new year.

That writing schedule made me laugh! *clinks wine glass as we cheer in the new year*

My pet peeve is narcissism. I agree with that quote about braggarts masking insecurity. If we truly feel confident, we don’t need to bombard the world with all of our successes. As Vince Lombardi said about running into the end zone after scoring a touchdown, “Act like you’ve been there before.”

However, it’s not bragging to celebrate your inclusion in the anthology. Major congrats!