Monday, October 4, 2010

Love according to Mr Shakespeare and I

Let me not to the marriage of true mindsAdmit impediments. Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds,Or bends with the remover to remove:O no! it is an ever-fixed markThat looks on tempests and is never shaken;It is the star to every wandering bark,Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeksWithin his bending sickle's compass come:Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,But bears it out even to the edge of doom.If this be error and upon me proved,I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Me and my boyfriend split up. One would think that after one month and in a totally different country that it would be easier to say. It is not. I do not harbour anger or hate or noting. Just sadness. That is all... Breakups are hard enough on their own, without it being a mutual decision due to circumstances beyond the both of you. It is not easier and i do not see the bright side. But sometimes i understand. Those sometimes make it easier...sometimes. But other times they make it harder. Then i stop understanding altogether.

I always played about with the notion of "the one". And perhaps i once not too long ago thot that i had found the one. Until I really found him. The one man for me. And for me that was it. No excuses, no explanations. Nothing apart from the feeling that this was the person i had looked for all my life. even when i didnt know I was looking. I know some of you will say i shouldnt speak like that and that there'll be someone better, more loving and without the complications. I do not doubt that. But right now, respect me enough not to doubt this.

Some days i feel like i have swallowed more than i can chew with this one. And the thought of moving on makes me sick to my stomach...so here i stand, still loving him, because nothing else makes sense. And because, like my man Shakespeare said, "love is not love which alters when it alteration finds"

To my baby, for all the times you brushed my hair away from my face and whispered in my ear ..."where have you been all my life? why didnt i find you sooner?"

I miss you everyday, and I see you in everything. And i pray for one more day, just one more hour ...to tell you that if re-incarnation is possible, ill find you next time. because two lifetimes without you will surely be too painful for one soul to bear.

10 comments:

Oh love. This is the worst sort of heartbreak, when you know you love each other, but the World simply doesn't align for your love. Its impossible, unbearable, but bear it we must. My heart is with you always, and my good thoughts are with you. I wish for you, peace. Simple peace, so you can bear this burden with grace. Sigh. but I must say, Life is NOT fair sha and it pisses me of.