Exclusive Preview of Reese Hall’s Fright Night 7 Spookiest Stations

It’s Halloween week, and that means only one thing: sponsored events on campus in a futile attempt to keep students from getting wild off campus. Tonight and tomorrow night, Reese Hall is hosting a “Fright Night,” a haunted house-type event in the basement of the Res Hall. If that sentence doesn’t get you hype for Halloween weekend, we don’t know what will. We can only assume that this event will be hella-busy, so for all those who aren’t able to go, but are itching to see what the RAs in Reese deemed “scary,” here are 7 things you can expect to find at Reese Hall’s Fright Night.

Student Loans: There’s nothing scarier than seeing that tuition bill, which is why there is one section of the Fright Night is dedicated solely to student loans. Expect to be reminded that you will most likely be paying off students loans the rest of your life and that even if you declare bankruptcy the student loans will still haunt you, picking up interest the whole time. Spooky!

Forgetting Your Blue Book on Exam Day: This section is straight out of your most embarrassing dreams. Forget Freddy Krueger, the real nightmare is showing up unprepared on exam day, your eyes widening and pants dampening as the teacher asks everyone to take out their blue books. And everyone except you does. Uh-oh.

Getting Called on in Class When You Haven’t Done the Reading: Speaking of embarrassing, there’s not much worse than getting called on directly in class when you have most definitely done the assigned reading. That’s why Fright Night has a whole room dedicated to the time that you lost 10 participation points because you neglected to read that one article about bee extinction.

The Tennessee Legislature: This year’s Fright Night will have a room mocked up like the Capitol Building, and will feature a variety of frightening scenes where actors dressed up like out-of-touch politicians who will decide the fate of school funding. They took away Diversity Funding last year, but what can we expect this year? Will they take away our study abroad program? The program that allocates funds to hire washed up actors to give speeches in AMB? Whatever it is, the thought is scarier than any corn maze.

The Fort at 3 a.m.: In a stroke of mad genius, Reese Hall is recreating the Fort at 3a.m. As you pass through to the section on student loans, you will pass several pieces of burning furniture, several people vomiting on the ground, and a whole lot of sketchy-looking frat guys. Just put your head down and speed walk through, and remember — don’t make eye contact.

Something Ken Bone, Probably:We actually don’t have any concrete info on this, but it’s safe to assume that Reese Hall, in an attempt to stay relevant and hip will at least make some passing reference to debate meme Ken Bone. Maybe it’ll be zombie Ken Bone? Or like, maybe there will be some room representing an alternate future where internet popularity determines the president, and he’ll be ruling America as a tyrant. In any case, keep an eye out for his signature red sweater.

Clowns: Everyone’s scared of clowns, so you can expect to see several clowns just hanging about in the haunted attraction. Ironically enough, there are fewer Clowns Per Capita (CPC) in Reese Hall’s Fright Night than there are anywhere else in America.