What Do They Want

One of the hardest steps to learning successful negotiation is the paradox of knowing and honoring your goals while focusing on the other party?s needs at the same time.

Why focus on their needs? Because that?s where successful negotiation begins and ends. If you can discover what they TRULY want and find a way to satisfy that need in the context of your own goals ? you?ve got it made. At that point it isn?t really a negotiation as much as a deal finalization. Often, though, their real needs are not apparent to you ? or sometimes even them!

So ? somewhat counter intuitively, you need to learn to spend more time asking questions and listening to them in the midst of a negotiation. What is the subtext of what they are saying? Is there an unspoken 3rd party that holds great power over their ultimate decision? Is their a more basic need that there demands are masking? Is a resolution even possible, or are their needs out of bounds with what you can really give them? All of these questions and so much more must be explored as you are attempting to discover possible solutions.

And this is the case with negotiations both large and small. Want a ?comped? room upgrade after a disastrous first night in the hotel? What does the manager need? How about a little respect first, and a promise of an acknowledgement of fantastic customer service to their boss later? It might not work all the time ? but it will some of the time and that?s all it takes for a much better life.

Yes, your goals are paramount ? but find out what they need and figure out ways to get everybody what they need. Not only will you have what you want ? you?ll be a rock star to those around you!

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The ideas in this post were generated from a reading of the excellent book?Getting More? by Stuart Diamond. I have created ?tools? and helps for this book for you for free ? just click below to learn how to download them.