Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Ah, yes. The cows are trained to follow the tractor to the feeding ground, to follow the trail to water, to calve at 3 a.m., and to walk directly past any open gate that you want them to go through. They drop manure anywhere they please, thank you very much, and they’re not graceful or respectful about it. I have the splattered jeans tonight to prove it.The big pile of manure is the result of my spouse scooping up the piles of stuff in the corral, where it is concentrated because the cows congregate there to escape the sun, the wind, or the precipitation. He uses a loader to dump it into a big pile, where it breaks down and emits a delightful smell that can be detected nearly a mile away. At some point, we hire someone to load it into a truck and disperse it over a field where it serves as fertilizer. If we were smart, we would put it in plastic bags, label it with the terms "natural" and "organic," and sell it to city people to beautify their lawns and flower beds. But we're not that smart.

Why do I recognize 98% of the clothing that cute little EL is wearing? – Colleen

Perhaps it’s because I’m too cheapfrugalfashion-disabled poor smart to buy my kids their own clothes when I know my older more mature sister was nice enough to have kids before I did.

My oldest child, who refers to me as “the meanest mom EVER,” would gladly rent me out. He would be thrilled to be rid of me for awhile and collect the rent money to buy more CDs with which to drive me crazy when I returned. (His favorite songs include “The Final Countdown,” “Macarena,” and “YMCA," Lord help me.)

I’m not sure I could narrow it down to a single lesson. I think we were raised with the understanding that our grandparents were to be honored and respected, and that seems to be a rare attitude among today’s youth. My grandparents taught me the values of hard work, faith in God, conservation, and being content with what I have. Grandpa taught me how to fish and how to say less that means more. Grandma taught me how faith can sustain a person through the most difficult times. My other Grandma taught me how to plant a seed and nurture it, harvest it, can it, and cook it. She is an expert at providing something from nothing because she’s been doing it all her life. Although I didn’t know my Granddad for most of my life, I am sure that his legacy lives on through my respect for and gentleness with animals.

It was a cow. I figured you’ve all seen enough pictures of our cows, so I threw in the picture of the deer in the flower bed because you really never know what you’ll find in our yard. By the odor I smelled wafting through the air when I checked the cows awhile ago, I’m afraid that a skunk is hovering nearby at the moment.

Does Shane read your Blog? - Suz

Yes, he does. As a matter of fact, he had never taken much interest in my photography until I started this blog; now I walk past the computer and find him on my Flickr page browsing through the pictures.

For those who are out of “the loop,” our parents used CB radios to communicate on the ranch when we were growing up. “Super Mom” was the handle my mom went by, and Dad’s handle was “Broken Bottle.” In reference to my son’s opinion of me, mine would have to be “The Meanest Mom EVER,” I suppose. My only other nickname is the shortening of my name, like “Er,” but I’m not sure how that would be spelled. “Air?” Actually, “Err” seems more appropriate, doesn’t it?

I'd like to know your laundry secrets. Your family always looks so nice. You must have some really good laundry skills. - Portia

Well, you can read about my laundry traditions here. I really don’t have many secrets; I love my new front-loading Maytag washer, and I use Gain HE detergent because it performed well in consumer testing and it smells good. I throw in a scoop of Oxi-Clean in most loads because I’m too lazy to pre-treat all 16 pairs of the kids’ jeans in each load. Actually, I don’t even have a pre-treating stain remover in my cupboard. If something looks really stained, I just rub some detergent straight on it before I throw it in the washer.

How much time do you spend on your blog-posts each night? - Anonymous

Well, that depends on the night. Most nights it takes me less than 20 minutes. Sometimes it takes me five minutes because I just use a column from my 10 years of archives. The Q & A posts tend to take the longest, especially when my sister asks questions.

Speaking of my sister, here she goes again:

What would you order if you were to purchase a brand new computer today (ie - if you were me)? Would you send me the link? – Colleen

I'm feeling a little bit broke right now, so if I were going to purchase a computer, it would probably be something like this:

The reason I'm feeling so poor is that I opened a bill from a local implement dealership yesterday and nearly had heart failure when I saw the bottom line. They washed the skidsteer, replaced some O-rings, and tinkered a bit, and I think we are probably going to have to indenture one of our children to pay the bill.

Could you share one of your favorite recipes that you have made with the help of your children? - BoufMom9

Come back tomorrow. . . I’ll show you how we compensate for the lack of a delivery service out here in the country.