My life with the triple negative type – A Winning Battle (and Search for Ways to Cope With Darn Chemo Brain)

Main menu

Category Archives: Chemotherapy

A friend commented on my Halloween look. “You’re not scary enough. Wear more make up, devil mama.” I left myself as is though. I don’t need to be very scary.

My life has not been so scary lately. My cousin’s mastectomy went well. Her lympn nodes are clear. Stage 1 breast cancer is what she has, estrogen receptor positive, progesterone receptor negative, and HER 2 positive. She had her first chemo, and recently went wig shopping with her young family with a four~year old daughter. Her genetic testing came back positive for BRCA 1 mutation. No surprise. Her mother, the sister of my mother, must be a carrier. Most likely, I have the same mutation…I can’t wait for my result in two weeks. It will be good to know.

Paul and I just spent an overnight in the cool ambience of the mountains to celebrate the earliest work holiday party of my life. Good food and drinks surrounded us from evening through lunch with my lovely co-workers. After the party, we stayed walking around the hotel and by the hot pools while ejoying the view of the snow-topped moutains.

This is life. We try to enjoy what we can. It does not have to be so scary all the time.

A friend commented on my Halloween look. “You’re not scary enough. Wear more make up, devil mama.” I left myself as is though. I don’t need to be very scary.

My life has not been so scary lately. My cousin’s mastectomy went well. Her lympn nodes are clear. Stage 1 breast cancer is what she has, estrogen receptor positive, progesterone receptor negative, and HER 2 positive. She had her first chemo, and recently went wig shopping with her young family with a four~year old daughter. Her genetic testing came back positive for BRCA 1 mutation. No surprise. Her mother, the sister of my mother, must be a carrier. Most likely, I have the same mutation…I can’t wait for my result in two weeks. It will be good to know.

Paul and I just spent an overnight in the cool ambience of the mountains to celebrate the earliest work holiday party of my life. Good food and drinks surrounded us from evening through lunch with my lovely co-workers. We walked around the hotel and by the hot pools while ejoying the view of the snow-topped moutains.

This is life. We try to enjoy what we can. It does not have to be so scary all the time.

If I only have an extra one thousand dollars, I would have paid for hair extensions, a long, full head of hair would be nice. But since I don’t, I would settle for my good old small choice of wigs. Pretty soon, I will be going out without a wig every time without any cover over my short hair.

Going to the clinic brings me memories just five months ago and back–my multiple visits for shots post chemo, my sick visits due to low resistance to infections, and lab work. Each visit, I felt weak and unconditioned. I did not want to be here.

I still don’t want to be here. Today, my son woke up with swollen left eye and cold symptoms–sore throat, runny nose, and general malaise. All that and he still wanted to work.

“It’s Saturday, mom. Saturdays are required.” He shows me a text from his boss, the driver who takes them to the neighborhood to do his route selling cookies. Boss says he has to work or else…

I still did not let him and called in sick for him. Because I called and said that he is sick, he is excused and he is not losing his little job, my thirteen-year-old.

But still, I am the “bad mom.” “You want to work? Here’s work.” I handed him the basket full of clean laundry. Why, suddenly, his body aches became unbearable. *sigh*

Maybe, he needs to be seen by the doctor. So here we are, on a Saturday-bigger-copay-day, we sit in the clinic waiting for him to be seen. 😦

I got this Noom application from Google Play, an Android app to help me lose weight. It has been a month, and I lost six pounds. I have tried other applications and methods before, but I like this one the most so far. It helps me roughly track my calorie intake from good food to not so good food that I should limit. Take a peek, here. If you have an Android phone, it does not cost you extra to use the free app. It gives me daily motivation and reminds me to walk daily. I use it with an exercise app. I will write about that later.

For those of you in treatment, chemo or radiation, it may not be good time to lose weight even if you want to. You need all the nutrients to replenish damaged cells. That means eating more nutritious foods that you can tolerate and keep down.

Remember to hydrate yourself. Chemo, especially dries you out. I still struggle with this. My dentist said my mouth is too dry. I stopped using Biotene toothpaste thinking I no longer need it. But here I am. I just had one tooth prepared for a crown. I don’t mind a real crown for a queen. For it’s cost ($1,200), it might be very well wearable on top of my head sparkling gold with diamonds so I can show it off. But no, it has to be for my tooth. Grr…

My dentist thinks the cavity (along the gumline) started because of mouth dryness and poor brushing in the area. Well, I believe him. For months during chemo, my mouth and gums felt raw. The electric toothbrush I have been using for years suddenly became unbearable. It felt like my teeth would all fall off from the vibration. I was using this extra soft toothbrush ever so carefully for months but apparently, the gentle strokes did not get the bugs and plaque off my teeth, oh well.

Saint Peregrine Prayer for people with cancer

O great St. Peregrine, you have been called "The Mighty," "The Wonder-Worker," because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fibre of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favoured with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.

(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

Cancer Of The Breast…

(a borrowed poem)
[...] Cancer of the breast
from east and west;
it seems Pandora's box is
making a big mess.

Meta

A Prayer When In Pain

I am bowed down and brought very low;
all day long I go about mourning.
My back is filled with searing pain;
there is no health in my body.
I am feeble and utterly crushed;
I groan in anguish of heart.

All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
---------Psalm 38:6-9 (TNIV)