I work in publishing and I like to read things. Herewith: free association on books, nice things I ate, publishing, editing, and other nice things I ate.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

has anyone seen my shotgun?

[Phone rings. It is one of my authors, whose book is publishing shortly--long ago catalogued etc.]

Author: I've been thinking, the title of my book shouldn't be [TITLE HERE]. It would be much more powerful if it were [HERE TITLE]. More poetic and timeless, definitely.

YT: ...Yes. I saw the email you wrote to Robert the Publisher about that.

Author: Well, you said the title was out of your hands, so I thought I should explain my reasons to him.

YT: ...Yes, and now you have. [Much good may it do you.]

Author: Well, when do you think we'll hear back from him?

YT: So here's the issue. Your book was catalogued under the title [TITLE HERE] six months ago. I told you Robert would 90% not be willing to retitle after that point. The book has already been sold into the accounts under the title [TITLE HERE]. That means if we change the title now, all the accounts will be confused. You came in and met with Robert two weeks ago and he told you to your face it's too late to retitle. You can wait for his email, but I'm pretty sure you're going to be disappointed.

Author: But this is really important. Think about the long run! Ten years from now, no one will be interested in a book called [TITLE HERE]. [HERE TITLE], now, will still be pulling readers in! It's worth whatever cost is incurred, for the sake of posterity.

YT: Well, either way, this needs to be resolved right now. I need to have galleys ordered this week with the final title, and it absolutely cannot change after that. All the reviewers will be covering it with the title on the galley. So I'm just saying; we're really at the end of the road of this conversation.

Author: Well, can't you just use my title on the galleys and not tell Robert?

YT: ...

Author: Can't you?

YT: No. No, I absolutely cannot.

Author: Why not?

YT: Because he's my boss and publisher, and because it would hurt your book. Among other reasons.

Author: But he wouldn't even have to know until afterward, and then he would have to go along with it.

YT: I'm sorry to cut you off here, but I'm afraid I'm unwilling to continue this conversation with you.

That is just stunning. They were capable/reasonable enough to write a decent book, secure an agent, secure a publisher, and now they want to manipulate the publishers into deceiving each other over the title?

Wow. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I can understand the author's angst over the title even as I recognize that It Doesn't Matter. But asking someone to deceive their employer? That's just wrong. And a sign of a deeper problem.

Fair is fair. If I'm putting it on my blog, I should at least put it here. The bad language is in place at:

http://literaryexperience.blogspot.com

----------So, I’m over at Editorial Ass and the assistant to whatever is now telling everyone how frustrating it is to work with an author. She wants a shotgun to deal with it. And she definitely won’t return the authors phone calls or call said author back, which to an any author is far worse than a little double-aught in the back—or in this case a knife.

F... her.

You know, what bothers me most is that one of two things are occurring here: either she’s lying, which means she has no respect for her audience, or she’s telling the truth and the author-- who you know follows her blog--is now disrespected and humiliated by the lowest person on the totem pole of the company that holds the g..d... rights to her book.

Now, if the story is accurate, I’m not saying the author isn’t nuts, but that’s how authors are. With their little quirks and insanities, they produce the work that these ass.... sell and that pays their salaries and the dirt wages of that editorial assistant who is too good to call an author back.

Who gave them so much power? I'll tell you who: it's the same ol' crowd over there kissing anonymous publishing butt that kiss all the other publishing butts in the blogosphere. And of course they all agree it's only right and proper to blast this author. Wait'll it's them sitting by the phone.

To be fair, I’m posting a version of this over at Editorial Ass, but you know it will be deleted, so you might not see it there.

I'd just like to say my hubby is a federally licensed fire arms dealer. He could sell you anything from a 50 cal sniper rifle to a teeny Derringer that'll fit nicely in your desk. Not that I'm promoting violence, or anything ;o)

Man, I wish this type of stuff was only limited to one industry. At work tonight, I had a similar phone call. No matter how many ways you rephrase the request, the merchandise will not magickally appear on my storeroom shelf.

It's curious that Ed Gordon, or the banned Geist at the Absolute Write Water Cooler and you have so much in common. Xystum Publishing, for instance. He started his own publishing company to publish his book. IOW, he self-published. Now your book is being published by Xystum after it shut down. Interesting.

He managed to be snarky enough to get banned with his lengthy rants against everyone there, especially Mr. McDonald. You seem to enjoy taking potshots at people who are well-liked and popular.

Hint, your bs attitude has probably already burned a lot of bridges. I noticed you stirred the stink with Nathan also and a few others.

Are you like Spam Query 109 and just enjoy harassing people?

I'm guessing it's an attention getter, but pretty sad you crave it that much.

Perhaps you should buy a puppy. You can name it Xystum and then you will get to hear it all the time!

Julie (and others who've asked how the author made it this far)--to be honest, while encounters like this are frustrating for both parties, they're not super uncommon. This guy pushed a little harder than most do, which is why the whole conversation was surrealistically funny, but it IS a creative industry and you'd be surprised at how high emotions can run, especially toward the end. It's like being late in your third trimester of pregnancy--you're not always totally in control of your hormones.

Also, authors often don't or can't grip some of the business angles--I'm only used to them because I do deal with them everyday. But, for example, the time frame is always a problem. If a book isn't pubbing for nine months, for example, why does the manuscript need to be totally finished now? Surely we have some leeway, right? (No, we don't, but I DO see why it's hard to believe, regardless of how many ways you explain.)

And lastly I should say, again, I love agents. This is the point at which an agent would step in, ascertain if the author is ACTUALLY dying of distress or is just seeing how far he can push me, and then act as a businesslike mediator.

Julie, GJ is the same person you've seen, with the same "publishing company", which no longer exists, but supposedly will again. (read self-publish) He has lurked and trolled and posted under a handful of psuedonyms, and is only rearing his ugly head again recently for self-promotion.

With a little (very little) research, you'll find that "Gordon Jerome" (not his real name, by the way, although who the hell knows what it really is) has very different plans from those he claims.

His whole goal for xystum "publishing", is to get it up and running and then (get this) sell it to a major publishing house.

I know. I know. I'll wait until you stop laughing....

What he'll do now, is say that I'm so interested in what he has to say, that I've taken time to research him, and he'll probably thank me, in his own disingenuous way.

The truth is that I have done a little research, and as I said, it didn't take much effort. My intrest wasn't in he himself, but in the disinformation he spreads to aspiring authors. Not to mention the slanderous and libelous statement he makes on a daily basis about agents, editor, and publishers. (as well as other writers)

I usually avoid commenting on blogs, but I thought this information might be of interest, considering his ulterior motives.

What I liked best about the transcript as you blogged it was this: you told the author the truth. You reminded them that the title was set six months ago. You told them up-front you most likely wouldn't be calling them the next day.

Maybe it doesn't say much about my day job, but that was completely refreshing. I really believe that the world could be spared a lot of angst if we stopped worrying about babying each other so much. Not to say we should be mean to each other, but just straightforward.

Comparing it to pregnancy hormones is pretty apt--it's easy to laugh when it's not you and your book and your title and your schedule. But I know I've flipped out over covers that were already a done deal and the like--and I felt the world surely would spin off its axis if it wasn't fixed. Looking back, I laugh at myself, but at the time, it was a BIG deal.

It's nice to have those in the industry aware of how emotional writers get so they can talk us off the ledge when we're in that third trimester.