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Saturday, July 28, 2012

I love the Olympics. I stayed up until midnight to see the end of the opening ceremonies. I saw every single country march by in the Parade of Nations. I listened to every single fact Mr. Bob Costas was banging out about little Pacific islands I have never even heard of. The Olympics are the ultimate celebration of one of my absolute favorite things: sports. Seventeen days of non-stop sports coverage. It is a beautiful thing.

I look forward to these things like crazy, and so you can imagine my anticipation when the opening ceremonies of these London games began. I made my family rush through my father’s barbecue dinner so we could watch them on time, and that never happens. The ultimate celebration of human achievement was underway, and I was going to be all over it like American Ariel Hsing is all over table tennis (She kicks ass, by the way. More to follow!).

We sat down, the festivities began, and then . . . phhhhhbbttttt. The opening ceremony started out promising, the whole smoke-stack thing was neat, and when they forged the ring and it met the other four and caught fire—awesome. There were some audible wows from the living room over here. Danny Boyle, the director of the ceremonies, was off to a good start. The James Bond thing with Her Majesty the Queen was memorable, and the dream sequence highlighting British literature was nice, but then it was like Mr. Boyle suddenly realized he wasgoing to be paid as much as he thought, and decided Eh, screw it! and sand-bagged the rest of the show. I did not need any rap in my opening ceremony, and while the tribute to the Beatles and Queen and David Bowie and the rest of the famous British rockers was fine, where in the wide wide world of sports was Elton John?! The guy was freaking knighted, for the love of God!

Finally, as if to throw a giant middle finger to the sporting world, Boyle failed to bring up a legendary athlete to light the torch. Instead, we had a few dumb kids who probably paid their way in set fire to one of the most sacred symbols in the sports universe. What the hell. The most recognizable athlete in the entire process was David Beckham, and he was never an Olympian. Forgive this burst of emotion, but why why why why why?! I stayed up until midnight for this. Over five hours of devotion. Explain. Someone explain. I could not. I still cannot. Who thought this was a good idea. These are not even questions anymore; these are bland statements. Whatever. Poop. I am over it.

Now, I am cycling four Olympic channels watching everything from fencing to soccer to women’s table tennis (As an aside, this proves that NBC has the best sportscasters on television. The broadcaster for Hsing’s table tennis match is currently discussing how footwork and racquet placement was a huge emphasis heading into the London Games. Wow. This is someone who has delved into their announcing duties. Did you know that Hsing aspires to go to Stanford, and that her parents do not let her play table tennis unless she keeps up a perfect 4.0 GPA? The NBC guy knows. He told me himself.), and I am loving every second of it. Right now I am wondering if the yelling that occurs in fencing is louder and more obnoxious than the yelling that occurs in tennis. It really could go either way.

The Olympics, no matter how you slice it, offers non-stop drama, non-stop excitement, and non-stop entertainment. Already, the men’s archery gold medal match has come down to the final arrow, and the women’s fencing semi-finals have seen a six-point comeback by an Italian over the gal from South Korea. This is why I watch (in addition to seeing Hsing sweep her opponent, four games to none, g-status). No matter what disappointments the opening ceremonies bring, the Games themselves never fail to amaze and astound.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Right away, I want to tell you something
about The Dark Knight Rises: Do not
worry. It does not disappoint. It does not drop the ball. It is spectacular.

There, now you can breathe easy, because one
of the most anticipated movies of the past five years is actually a treat to
watch. While it may not be absolutely perfect, it succeeds where it absolutely
needs to succeed, and the result is a satisfying, thrilling, and intense
conclusion to one of the greatest superhero franchises ever put onscreen.

If you forgot where we are now in the
trilogy, it is important to remember going in that Batman is still believed to
have murdered Harvey Dent by the people and police of Gotham City. Unable to
show himself, Batman/Bruce Wayne has shut himself inside his manor for eight
years. Now, with the terrorist mastermind Bane threatening to establish a
terrible new reign over the city, the Caped Crusader has to determine once and
for all what it means to wear the cowl. Is it a symbol of justice, a symbol of
redemption, or a symbol of vengeance?

(Good Lord, that sounded like the back of a
movie box! That was awesome!)

All the hype aside, I had three big worries
going into Rises (Aside from the very
real possibility of having to see it alone; most of the key players were out of
town, and my own father initially rejected me before eventually coming around.
For a good 24 hours I was in panic mode.). One, I was worried that with the
eight-year timeline gap between this movie and its predecessor, the movie would
take too long in catching up the viewer and start out sluggishly. Two, I was
worried that Anne Hathaway would flop as Catwoman. Finally, I was worried that
the conclusion would leave me wanting more (or even worse, wanting a re-do). I
did not want to be wishing for more Batman, especially when this was supposed
to be the pinnacle of the Dark Knight story.

Thankfully, Rises put just about all of my worries to rest. We will go in order
here. The first twenty minutes or so, aside from an absolute killer introduction
to Bane, are a little slow. After all, there is no Batman, and the movie needs
to catch everyone up on what has been happening in Gotham for the past eight
years. It is somewhat annoying, especially given the aforementioned Bane scene
and the looming threat that the viewer knows he will pose. You want to hit the
ground running, but Rises does not
quite let you loose right away; it needs to lay the groundwork first.

Second of all, Anne Hathaway is positively brilliant
as Catwoman. She captures every single side of Selina Kyle’s personality, and
somehow manages to find the perfect balance between the comic book character
and Christopher Nolan’s adaptation. Batman fans will love her, movie fans will
love her, and I think everyone will breathe a collective sigh of relief that
they finally did Catwoman proper (some
will say Halle Berry was hotter, but still). Her performance might be the best
of the film if not for Tom Hardy’s Bane, but we will cover what a BAMF he is
later.

You know what? Screw it. Bane was so
freaking awesome in this movie we are going to talk about him right now. I will
say first that comparisons to Heath Ledger’s Joker are both unfair and
inevitable. The reason they are unfair is because the Joker and Bane are completely
different villains. The Joker is more of a behind-the-scenes and
screw-with-your-head villain while Bane is more of a screw-with-your-head-right-in-front-of-you-because-I’m-so-badass
villain. Ledger had more room to act as the Joker, whereas Hardy sits behind a totally
sick muzzle/mask and intimidates the living crap out of you. Both were
immensely successful in portraying their characters, end of story.

Now we can just revel in Bane. In a word, he
was commanding. Every single scene in
which Bane was present, you knew it. The Vader-esque breathing, the ruthless
stare, the cold eyes, he was nothing short of a presence. At least three times
during the course of the movie I was attempted to lean over to my father during
a Bane moment and mutter, “This is the most badass thing I have seen in a long
time.” Goodness, he was a BAMF. He continually felt like a legitimate threat to
both Batman and Gotham, and as you will see, he proved to be just that. He was
complex, he was dominating, he was powerful, he was everything a supervillian
was supposed to be, and you cannot ask for much more than that.

Finally, we can talk about the overall
conclusiveness of the trilogy. In short, Rises
finishes the job and finishes the job well. Batman is forced to define his
legacy, and with it he defines the series. I will not give anything away (and
anyone who does should be severely punished, you guys have no idea, huge pet
peeve, but I digress), but just know that the series ends in a satisfying way.
You walk out of the theater not feeling shorted or slighted in anyway. This is
something that was given a lot of thought by Christopher Nolan, and it shows.
It is a job well done.

To be fair, we have to cover the film’s
shortcomings. I think that overall, Rises
is a victim of its length (almost three hours!). A few things are shorthanded, a
few characters (Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s rookie cop in particular) are
underdeveloped, and quick explanations are offered through sometimes clunky
lines of dialogue. As I said before, the beginning is a touch too slow, but
things pick up quickly enough that you will not lose interest. So while the
movie could have used a small degree of polishing, these flaws are ultimately
akin to the grammar mistakes on an otherwise stellar essay; the content is magnificent,
and that is all that really matters at the end of the day.

The
Dark Knight Rises ends Christopher Nolan’s trilogy in brilliant fashion. If
you thought Batman Begins was better
than The Dark Knight, as I did, then
the final installment is likely to be your favorite. The conclusion boasts an
unforgettable villain, a strong supporting cast, Christian Bale’s best
performance of the franchise, and an articulate story that concludes the tale
of the Batman in an absolutely epic way. I give it an 8.5 out of 10, and the nomination
for one of the top 10 best superhero movies ever. You will not be disappointed,
you will not be let down. Go see Rises
right now.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

This article is a long time coming,
partially because I have been waiting a year to write it and more partially
because it is a whole month late. I thought for a second about telling everyone
that this was a really emotional process, and I slaved over how exactly I was
going to word my goodbye to Notre Dame, but the truth is I was a little caught
up in water polo and work and people and Grand Theft Auto IV, so I was a little
distracted. Intentionally distracted, but whatever. This is my belated goodbye
to high school, my farewell to the Catholic institution at 98th and
Bell.

I
think I can speak for a lot of people when I say that I was not 100% onboard
with Notre Dame my freshman year. It was one-half my parents, one-fourth me not
wanting to argue with my parents, and one-fourth me thinking it would not be so
bad. So there you go, I was not super stoked to be a saint. The scene is set.

Flash forward three years. It is the summer
before senior year, and I am sitting in the back of Mrs. Martinez’s Honors Econ
summer school slugfest wondering how you start a blog. I wondered what I would
call it. I wondered which website to ground it in. Most importantly, I wondered
who on God’s green earth would read the darn thing. My mom, probably. Maybe. I
went home and decided, what the heck, and googled “how to start a blog”.
Blogger. Sign in. Create blog. According to Dazz. No glowing lights or gospel
music or triumphant exclamations. That was it. Ta-da . . .

I wrote a post. This thing was supposed to
be modeled after my newspaper column, so I wrote an article. It was called Summer of Nerd 2011: The Lamest Movie
Preview Ever, and if I say so myself, it was pretty gosh darn good. It
received 18 views . . . to date. We
were off to a great start (and my archives section was really seeing some traffic down the road, thanks guys). So when I
say A2D came from humble beginnings,
I mean it. Seeing my mother as my only follower was pretty humbling.

I threw the post onto Facebook and dropped
the name around summer school the next day. Aside from my aforementioned
mother, I know for sure that two people read Summer of Nerd, Caroline Atsaves and Damon Motamedi. Oh, and my
buddy Nolan Bidese too (he did not read it until the school year started, but
ever since he was “snubbed” from the Awards, he has had a few choice things to
say about my material—so he takes the nod simply because I do not want to deal
with him). If you stuck with the According
to Dazz Awards, you know that Caroline and Damon were decided as the blog’s
two biggest fans. After all, they really were here since genesis (is a Bible reference
too much? Nah).

You might think it strange to call them out
in a farewell post to Notre Dame, but Caroline and Damon epitomize this blog’s
success. This is all about you guys.

After Summer
of Nerd, I kept chugging away and cranking out posts. Most of you know the
rest: Coach Scot Bemis began his battle with cancer, the football team scored
their upset over Desert Mountain, I sent a reaction-post to the Dog Pound, and
soon A2D was reaching more people
than I could have ever thought possible. Everything came back to you guys. The
readers. You guys are the reason Dazz is where it is today, you guys are the
reason Dazz is who he is today, and
you guys are the ones who deserve the praise at the end of the day.

Because of you, Dazz (yep, pulling a Ricky
Henderson) did a ton of things his senior year that he would not have done
otherwise. Dazz commentated Powderpuff (seniors won, still believe it), Dazz
hosted Mr. NDP (complete with stellar audio), Dazz cheered with the Goon Squad
and snuck into the locker room for interviews after boys’ basketball took the
win (saw the Knee Brace up close, still cannot believe it), and yes, Dazz
watched Human Centipede and hated every godforsaken minute of it (Jake
Anderson, eat your heart out). None of it is possible without all of you. The
readers. Wow.

I remember first arriving at Notre Dame Prep
four years ago and not having that 100% onboard mindset that I mentioned
before. It took three years, but I finally arrived there. This blog is the
reason for that arrival. You are the reason for that arrival. I owe all of my
amazing experiences and outstanding moments to you guys. If it were not for
everybody’s support, I would not have had the confidence or courage to do anything.
You took a guy who missed homecoming freshman year and turned him into someone
who went out of his way not to miss
anything. It was pretty special.

Notre
Dame really was a community this year, and I can say whole-heartedly that it
affected me for the better. Three years of ho-hum turned into one incredible
year that made up for all of it. I hope everyone looks back on this year,
whether it leads to many more like it or not, and remembers this student body
as one that had a total blast together. Never thought you would hear that about
good ol’ NDP, did you? Had a blast . . . sounds nice.

According to Dazz is going to keep on
keeping on, as they say. There will be college posts (just think: college party
dev diaries). Dazz will keep on writing; that is quite certain. The first
chapter is coming to a close, and right now, it is time to not only look at
what the next phase of Dazz has in store, but also look back and remember what
was so special about the first phase. You guys have been incredible. Thank you,
thank you, thank you. Each and every one of you, who ever clicked any of my
links, cannot receive enough gratitude. You guys made senior year for me. You
made high school for me. Notre Dame, good luck. You have come a long way in not
just my eyes, but most everyone else’s too.

The next chapter begins right now. Dazz 2.0—it
just sounds cool, no? Or even better, A2D2.
Oh man. Yes. This is going to be great. Ok, sorry. That is for another
time.

Hey, it looks like not much has changed
after all. But either way, do not forget: Dazz 2.0 came from all of you.