Whilst in Canterlot, a chance meeting gives Twilight Sparkle the chance to help her friend, Rarity, achieve some fashion fame in the Equestrian capital. However, a return visit may turn out to give both ponies a lot to think about.

Of all the dates with all the stallions in all the world, Rarity is on a date with widower, single father and successful businesspony Filthy Rich. And guess what? He's quite the gentle-colt. But how does she feel about him...?

Several years into the future, Twilight and Spike have gone their separate ways. But now, it is up to the princess to find her former assistant and convey a message that might bring them together again: their mutual friend, Rarity... is dying.

History tends to repeat and nightmares return in more than one way. When Rarity gets invited to give a fashion show in Canterlot, things aren't what they seem to be. An old enemy returns once more. One who wears a new coat too familiar for the mare.

With the arrival of a new evil in the lands, a new adventure awaits for the elements of harmony. Though there are turns and twists to every single thing they come across. While friendships are at stakes, fears and horrors become more than true.

Rarity has always been Ponyville's most elegant and fashionable resident. Her generosity knows no bounds, but what caused her to have such aspirations of fame and glamour? Sometimes to find the answers, you need to go beyond surface deep.

I hope I set the proper kind of mood. This story is not meant to be depressing, but rather to provide a bit of a glimpse of what's going on beneath the make-up and glitter. I feel that fans of The Cutie Mark Master may enjoy this one, as I'm trying to follow the same format in that the storyline could realistically be used in the show's canon.

As always, please forgive any minor grammatical errors that may have slipped through, and thank you for reading.

Now this is interesting. It's a shame it seems to have fallen by the wayside, because Rarity is a fascinating character and this looks like a promising set-up for a character study. What happened at the school? Why is Rarity so obsessed with perfection? What's the story behind the dress? It would be great to see what take you'd, um...well, take... on this protagonist's psychology.

There's my two cents, as it is. I still give two thumbs up to The Cutie Mark Master, and I notice you've got a bigger fanfic project on the go, so understandable if you've got time constraints and/or want to do other stories.

Hey, no problem. I'm glad I did; this chapter was fascinating. Rarity was getting picked on at school for her farm origins, so she becomes a perfectionist as a reaction to it. This is nicely realistic, I could see the idea fitting into canon, and it's easy to empathize with her in this situation. I really like how you weave the flashback in between the present day scenes. I could learn one or two things about setting the mood from this passage.

This story is like a mirror image of Applejack - AJ prefers country living to sophisticated socialite living, Rarity the opposite. I don't know if you were aiming for that, but the irony of Rarity coming from a farm is a good one to explore, and it's nice to see she enjoyed it once. And it can work if Rarity's father is an earth pony, as many have speculated (notice you never see his horn in that scene?).

Great work! I'll be back to read the next chapter for sure. I can't give feedback on par with that of the Equestria Daily pre-readers, but I wish you luck if you do submit.

A bit shaky in one or two places - for instance, Rainbow seems to switch from "I'll run you a bath" to "I'll sort out who made you cry" a little too quickly, or at least a little too plainly. For instance:

> "I made it nice a warm, and... oh my gosh, are you crying? Who did this to you? I'll show them not to mess with my friends!"

could be rewritten more like

> "I made it nice and warm, and - are you crying? Is she crying? What happened? Is she hurt? Did somepony do something to her? Did they do that?" She pointed at the mud on Rarity's mane. "Those jerks! Who did it, Rarity? I'll show them! Mess with my friends, will they? I'll give 'em the old one-two and a -"

I admit this might be personal interpretation, but I was thinking of Sonic Rainboom when Rainbow goes into a rant about how she's going to fail. Also, "They were too busy being her best friends for that" seems a little telly, not to mention over-sweet. I'd replace it with "They were too busy helping her for that" or "They were too busy cleaning her up for that", or however you prefer.

While I'm at it, I think there were a few spelling errors and tense problems in the last chapter, as well. For instance, They were a culmination of years of studying the fashion industry, thousands of hours of practice and experience, and an early desire to become the very best at what she does should end with a past tense "did" rather than a present tense "does" because you're using the past tense when describing the list ("They were"). A second example is this:

"It's just a little dirt, it never hurt anyone."

Replace that comma with either a semi-colon or a full stop. Commas shouldn't be used to separate two sentences that can stand alone.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I really like this fic, and I think it's just a few polishes shy of becoming EQD.com material. I'd recommend going onto ponychan and looking for a reviewer in the fanfic section (the pre-readers tend to be more sympathetic if you've been to a reviewer first). I'd particularly recommend the Training Grounds thread, which is the MAIN thread (if you can't find it by browsing, there's a search option in the top right). I've used it myself, and they were very helpful, but be prepared to wait days for a reply if you do consider this option.

But enough gloominess. On the good side, I really liked the canon nods - Sweetie's name origin, Rarity's thoughts when encountering Twilight, the auction (I think - it is a reference to Sweet and Elite, isn't it?), even the subtle way you addressed the Blueblood angle. They were nice touches all the way through.

Nicely done, and good to see both a happy ending and a thoughtful moral. Well done!

334821 Constructive feedback is good feedback. I've corrected the grammatical errors, and stole a slightly-altered version of your Rainbow Dash dialogue. I admit I need to be in the right kind of mood to properly write Rainbow Dash, and I was not in that mood when I wrote it.

I've left the "best friends" line as-is. I personally like it. If the pre-readers disagree, I may consider altering it. I don't feel that changing it would be any kind of improvement for the tone I wanted to set there. Just like the ending to an actual episode of My Little Pony, it's supposed to be a bit "over-sweet".

You're correct with all of the canon nods, including the auction. It's not necessarily the same auction from the show, but it's the same venue and the same auctioneer-pony.

The pre-readers haven't gotten back to me yet, so hopefully the corrections have been done in time to save a little bit of a headache later on. I'm not a fan of relying on Ponychan or anything else, though. I'm of the mindset that I succeed or fail based on my own decisions. If EQD likes the story and gives it a chance, then it's my own fault if I can't get it right within 3 tries.

Thanks for reading, and for the advice. I'm glad this little story was worth reading.

367088 I literally burst out laughing when I saw FiMFiction go down for maintenance the moment this hit EQD. The story of my life!

Anyway, now that we're back up, I'll be eager to hear everypony's thoughts. Again, this is my first really serious attempt at anything outside of comedy other than an HiE fic I'm writing. Hopefully everyone enjoys.

Dawww. In the end, Rarity is okay.Really though, I HATE bullies, even though I was never a real victim. Perhaps it's the fact that the concept of looking good by making someone look bad makes me sick. Glad Rarity dealt with it.

Awesome story! Second story to make me go "aww.." in a few parts. Rarity is such an under appreciated character and this has made me like her a lot more. Great job and keep up the good work. I'll be sure to feature this in my article! That is....if it's okay with you..

368058 Thank you. Unless you write an article titled "Worst Fan-Fics of All-Time," I won't have any problems with that.I like having as many people as possible get the chance to read my stuff, because hopefully I can make those people smile (or laugh, cry, etc)!

I loved this story; in fact, the only disappointing thing is that it wasn't longer! I could happily read a more in-depth accounting of Rarity's time as a filly in this setting - but I appreciate that it was likely the feelings and legacy that you were aiming to impart here, which you did very well.

Magnificent. I'm always amazed at how some of you, writers, can add depth where there wasn't supposed to be one. Congratulations on not only the idea alone, but also on the amazing way you written it. And thanks for sharing. Have a thumb.

I'm sorry to disrupt this magnificent story but it just feels like it's missing a scene or a single sentence. There is no given explanation as to why Rarity chose to go to Twilight's place after the rain started. There are reasonable explanations that quickly come to mind (like she forgot the time and everyone was waiting for her), but still...

2460045 See, this is the kind of feedback/criticism I wish more people would bother to leave.

What I like about this comment is that you didn't just read something, disagree with it, then leave a thumbs-down. Far too many people do this.

You explained what you disagreed with, realized that it doesn't necessarily make it a bad story, and held off on giving any thumbs at all. Kudos for being one of the very few who are capable of giving feedback the right way, and thank you!

Absolutely love this story, top notch writing mate.Rarity is easily my favourite character in the show, and I love your version of her background.Too many authors leave out the depth that this character deserves and I love how much you put into her character.My favourite aspect was how you drew connections between Rarity's current character and the origin of certain traits from her youth. Love this, love the character, love the writing and love the plot. Great Job

This is really sweet, you made me smile! Rainbow Dash's line upon seeing Rarity's tears reminded me of one of my own best friends, and so that was what touched me the most. The letter seems especially well thought out, and is a morale I can agree with

Here I am again =) It was a couple of days ago that I read this, but here goes:I really felt for Rarity, the exploration of her backstory really brought the character to life for me. So many of her idiosyncrasies are made understandable by this backstory, it makes her an even more sympathetic character for me – and she used to annoy the absolute crap out of me. Very effective. And the moment when the dresses were ruined... the build-up was so well handled; I was really invested in those dresses! So crushing. It made the acceptance of Rarity's friends all the more touching. Well done!

Now, some suggestions, just on this last chapter. As usual, offered in all humility =)

“…in which she could sell her designs. The carousel design…” ‘design’ used twice close together. Not a biggie.Sweetie shouldn’t be capitalized, as it’s not yet a name.“…every bit earned from selling fashions…”“…one of the bits of luggage…” bits  pieces or items. The colloquialism doesn’t mesh well with the tone of the rest of the narration.I feel like the line where Rarity notices the clothes got run over deserves its own line, for more impact. It’s a supreme tragedy, after all. The worst. Possible. Thing.“Why, Rarity, you are a talent,” she turned to face…” comma  period“…is the best gift I can think of that you could give us,” feels like an awkward sentence. Maybe try “…would be the best gift for us, right, girls?” or something.“…all throughout the room.” I feel is a bit redundant. “all through” or “throughout” should suffice.“…little more than a bath,” italicize “little”. It totally fits with her mannerisms.

The third story I wrote, over two years ago. How things change! I remember one of my own criticisms of this story being that Rarity cried a bit too often. I think I changed it up and removed or altered some of those scenes since it felt forced.

I really should go over my older stories and give them a good editing sweep, but I'm glad you liked this one. I felt for the longest time that this was my most underrated story.

To be fair, the lesson Rarity learned is a good one. Even so, I can't relate. I love Rarity, for she's an awesome character for her weaknesses just as much as her flaws, but to call her childhood harsh just because of a few teasing bullies is going a bit overboard to me. It feels less to me like 'the past haunts her' than 'she refused to grow up.' At best, she's being blatantly melodramatic... even for her.

Not to say that this was a bad story, mind you. Not at all. It's simply a situation I can't relate to.