Friday, April 15, 2011

As it burns through me.

I get up every morning with this pain in my chest that I love with every bit of life that's left in me. Every sunrise that I witness, is an explosion of light in my pleasant dreams, making it too luminous to feel their vividness anymore. And maybe that's why everyday, I await the sight of the sun at the horizon at dusk, knowing that it won't be too long before I can let reality loosen its grip over me and let myself fall back in love, fall back into those pleasant dreams that I keep safely in my chamber of secrets of a past that I can only hope comes my way again.

He was a change that I didn't need to force myself to accept. His absence, is the scar that I protect from being healed, because it's the pain that keeps me closest to him in every possible way. It's the pain that makes me cry, makes me smile in wonder of the blush that never ceases to burn my cheeks when the smallest of gestures and softest of words remind me of a time when I didn't need to look back to be convinced of their happenings.

There were answers that I never got, questions that made my heart ache as they lingered on for an eternity that I tried to lose to time. There was a fear of being forgotten that haunted my sanity, for what I always wanted to be was, the ghost that wandered its way into his present, a dancing skeleton in his cupboard of omnipresent guilt, his pursuit to happiness without a trace of footprints to guide him, and the seductive hush through soft lips that he longed to kiss.

For there will come a time when you will hang on to the pain, just so you feel remembered for the hurt you were caused...