Jogger’s Spark!!

Allright, it’s an addiction that waxes and wanes, but definitely it has something to do with that chemical in the brain that’s supposed to make you an alcoholic, a drug user and a sex maniac!

And if you take a recent fitness freak like me, then there are stages that we have to pass to get where we are now.

At the very beginning is the WMiRaB stage, short for ‘WILLING MIND in a RELUCTANT BODY.’ After years of getting as much brisk exercise as is required to scratch the back (It could be tough!), the body is rather reluctant to stumble out of its lethargy onto the cobbled walking track of a Chennai Corporation Park.

Now, depending on how much you’ve lived in the lap of luxury, how many times you’ve scratched your back and consequently how badly behaved the muscles and corpuscles are, it begins by screaming out loud.

And if you don’t have the good sense to quit then (if that chemical’s begun working already), the body, thenceforth it speaketh through the legs and the hips. Strangely, they are all saying the same thing: STOP! You turn up the volume on the iPod Nano so loud it cuts out any other sound. Eventually, with sweat dripping over you eyes, several stitches in what seems like several sides, panting and puffing, you stop when it seems like you are going to have a heart attack any moment NOW.

You don’t have a heart attack after all.

The truth of that gives you the courage to live through stage 2,simply known as P.Body., also PROTESTING BODY. When the body’s finally figured the chemical side of things, it realises the only way to beat organics is with physics. Hey presto! the answer is immobility. Total and complete. As in, cease entirely, movement of limbs, torso and head.

Try and avoid dusty places then or allergens, because a sneeze THEN is third degree. And if the odd leg or hand doesn’t creak when you attempt to lift it, the mouth will. Croak, did we say?

But the neo-fitness freak will not let this come in the way of his/her early morning ritual and jump rather enthusiastically albeit painfully into stage 3 : DON’T MIND THE AWFUL PAIN, WALK ON. That means flexing a bit more, stretching, doing it faster and by now, the bod’s got the message the damn chemical’s been trying to communicate all along. OR it appreciates your sheer persistence, endeavour etc and bows down. Ouch! Well, not THAT down.

When one enters the I’M THERE stage, you can see it. Expensive (Nike/Reebok/Addidas) footwear (bought at a 50 per cent discount store), brand new tracks, matching tees.

Most of all you can see it in the stride, its confidence, and the nose, by it’s position in the air. Now if you listen to all the talk your body’s doing, you’ll likely hear it delivering a graduation day speech. Somewhere in the middle of this stage, you begin tucking in your abs as you walk/jog, looking condescendingly at stragglers at the park, overtaking them without effort, catching the kitten playing in the park in the corner of your eye before he trips you, mouthing all the lyrics of ALL the songs on the 4 GB iPod Nano.

And when you’re there, my friends, you know you’ve just cast aside the neo out of fitness freak. Then,you’ve arrived!

P.S. In the last stage, when the urge comes upon you to run on the road at night (since the park is shut) leave the iPod Nano behind unless you want to be give it all up, musically, biologically, chemically and physically!

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9 Responses

hahaha the last sentence i can relate to…in delhi u r never safe,especially when u r havin a jog in wee hours.Had my pod jocked out of my pockets (ahem sweat pants actually)by coupleo jokers on a bike….gave them a earful n luckily managed to cling onto mine……..This is what happens if u ever get too freaky on fitness……

am impressed madam fitness! good for you, managed to overcome all stages. i’m still at the willing mind reluctant body stage. hope all is well. send me an email sometime no, please! really want to know whats happening in chennai and particularly at the office. feel so far away from everybody! my love to all.

Thanks for the excellent piece of advice. I am a compulsive walker. ( I read somewhere that after certain age, jogging would harm the knees). All my blog postings and comments are mentally drafted during my long lonely walks. An average walker needs 12 minutes ( 1250 steps) to cover one km and after the third km the Law of Diminishing Returns starts operating, and one needs more time to cover the same distance.