My time is nearly over

Being on the Canyon I felt like I was away from the world. At peace with myself. But soon after I left vacation I was back to the same hellhole.

I got no other reason to be here in this life. I sense my time is up soon. In some ways I wish it wasn't. But in some ways I wish it was. Im not getting whats due in life. And if I did get it at this point I am damaged goods.

Hey Rolo,
The grand canyon hugh? That has always been one of my dreams. I have seen alot in my lifetime, but still haven't made it to the canyon. Did you ride the horses down to the floor? Thats what I want to do and camp out for the night.
Right now the coolest thing I have done was go to all the castles in germany when my dad was stationed there. But those are distant memories. The crystal caves in Texas are also cool, I forget what town they are in.
I don't think you are damaged goods you just need help to give you direction in life. Why don't you get in therapy. It really does help. I have been going for three years and what she says to me is finally starting to sink in. Suicide is not the way. I live with it dailey but have been able to cope with it because of her. Give it ago and see if it helps. You need to understand it's not an instant cure it takes time to build that bond between you and therapist.
I prefer a female therapist because they seem to be more genuine than males. I just couldn't open up to a fellow male. It must be a guy thing!! lol.
Take care of your self and try having one positive thought each day and you can build from there. Stay Safe!!~Joseph~

The Grand Canyon...I always feel at peace when I am around nature that is so grand... gives me a sense of being connected and an appreciation of how small each of us is ... is there anything in your world that you can go to for this type of respite that does not entail a trip like the one you took...I have a park near me that gives me the reminder of those feelings...just a thought, big hugs, J

Being on the Canyon I felt like I was away from the world. At peace with myself. But soon after I left vacation I was back to the same hellhole.

I got no other reason to be here in this life. I sense my time is up soon. In some ways I wish it wasn't. But in some ways I wish it was. Im not getting whats due in life. And if I did get it at this point I am damaged goods.

Hey Rolo,
The grand canyon hugh? That has always been one of my dreams. I have seen alot in my lifetime, but still haven't made it to the canyon. Did you ride the horses down to the floor? Thats what I want to do and camp out for the night.
Right now the coolest thing I have done was go to all the castles in germany when my dad was stationed there. But those are distant memories. The crystal caves in Texas are also cool, I forget what town they are in.
I don't think you are damaged goods you just need help to give you direction in life. Why don't you get in therapy. It really does help. I have been going for three years and what she says to me is finally starting to sink in. Suicide is not the way. I live with it dailey but have been able to cope with it because of her. Give it ago and see if it helps. You need to understand it's not an instant cure it takes time to build that bond between you and therapist.
I prefer a female therapist because they seem to be more genuine than males. I just couldn't open up to a fellow male. It must be a guy thing!! lol.
Take care of your self and try having one positive thought each day and you can build from there. Stay Safe!!~Joseph~

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No I didnt do horseback riding (wish I did) but just walked around. I WOULD go to a therapist and I have before when I was younger. But Im not sure if medical coverage will pay for it.