Pippa is engaged

US Weekly reports exclusively that Pippa Middleton is engaged to marry Nico Jackson. Apparently Jackson proposed to her on holiday earlier this month in India. Jackson is 36 years old, a banker. They’ve been together just over a year. Oh My God I’m so bored. This is not the royal sibling engagement we were hoping for, you know? It’s like Karl Lagerfeld said, amazingly:

“On the other hand, the sister struggles.”

It might be one of his best quotes.

According to US, Pippa and Nico’s wedding will happen in 2014. Which, I’ll tell you right now, will NOT be one the “most anticipated” events of the year, no matter how much they try to convince you of it, and especially not if Hot Harry proposes to Cressida Bonas.