The reason it's a problem to care too much about whether it's an RPG, is the psychological implication.

If you care, it's because you're emotionally connected to the genre. In this case, people are treasuring the RPG genre - because they've had great experiences with it. But your emotional connection is corrupting your ability to look at it rationally.

You may not really want to admit it, but the source is that you feel including a game you don't personally think is an RPG into the genre - somehow taints the genre. But the genre isn't your experiences - and it isn't your genre.

It's a category in which a lot of games belong that a lot of people wouldn't want there - but they're there.

If you can't argue your case logically - then just give it up. Logic is the only universal language that approaches the objective. The rest is opinion. You don't think this or that qualifies as roleplaying - and across the street someone disagrees. Some people think making development choices are sufficient - some don't. There's no universal answer.