Why bother with plot when VM’s got Paul Rudd?

Is “cult icon” too glowing a description for Paul Rudd? Maybe, but how else do you categorize him? He’s never going to win an Oscar (or Emmy, depending on the context), but damned if that guy doesn’t pop up in every (mostly offbeat) movie or TV show I love, and turn in a hilarious performance every time. It’s a good thing Paul got to Veronica Mars by the end of the season; otherwise, he might not have had much chance.

Here, he’s Desmond Fellows, a washed-up rock ‘n’ roller in town to do a benefit show hosted by the campus radio station. His designated babysitter is Piz, who happens to be overjoyed at spending time with the star – at first, anyway. At least it’s giving Piz something to do other than obsess over the Veronica smooch heard ’round the world, which she now seems to think wasn’t such a great idea.

Then again, she’s the only one really obsessing – mostly to Wallace, who suddenly couldn’t care less. “What am I, a 12-year-old girl?” Um, hello, Wallace, after all this time are you just now figuring out what it’s like to be best friends with a chick? Even tough-as-nails, crime-fighting chicks have boy issues. Maybe he’s forgotten, what with only being around for a handful of episodes this season.

And speaking of characters’ mysterious disappearing acts on this show, it’s convenient that Parker’s not around this episode as Logan deals with the torment of having seen the Piz-Veronica liplock. He even wonders if that weekend Veronica spent holed up in Piz and Wallace’s dorm room a few months back was about more than needing a place to crash. Yes, Logan, that’s totally what it was. Jeez, Veronica’s good at hiding things, but I don’t think even she’s good enough to hide an affair right under her boyfriend’s nose.

How sweet would it be for her to spark up a hot relationship with Piz and rub it right in Logan’s smug face? She’s firm in her decision to be “just friends” – as long as she thinks he’s pining for her, anyway. His request for her to help find Desmond’s missing backup tapes? Yeah, sure, that’s why he’s calling – except, sorry, Veronica, it is.

Desmond’s tapes were stashed away in his travel bag when he left for Neptune, and now they’re… not. Now his bag contains a fuzzy, blue cape/robe-like thing. And see, Desmond’s got a bit of Ashlee Simpson-itis and can’t go on without his backup tapes. Let’s just hope there’s no clumsy “hoedown” if something goes awry onstage.

Hmm… maybe he can just appear onstage in the cape/robe, and be cute, and make hilariously inane comments. It’s entertaining enough for me. Love his hotel-room concoction with all the minibar bottles in his Big Gulp cup. Classy. Oh and his tip for the bellboy – “Here you go, it’ll get you $20 on eBay,” he says as he scrawls his name on a napkin. Even better is the bellboy’s complete lack of interest.

Suspect number one in the theft is the amorous redhead positioned in Desmond’s bed when he gets to the Neptune Grand – “blackcat70,” or something, as he knows her from the internet. Except the woman he expected to see was the considerably younger, blonder “blackhat80,” or something else similar-sounding. He barks for the redhead to get out of his bed, which is dumb if he’s just looking for some easy action, because she’s pretty foxy.

So since the redhead was the last person to be in the room with Desmond’s tapes, she’s first on the list to investigate. Chat transcripts between her and Des reveal some sweet talk that ends with some sort of Chinese character – which may be a clue to her identity. Veronica and Piz enlist the help of some nerdy students who speak the language, just as they’re about to sit down for class. “It means something elegant, but like, more spiritual than that,” one explains. “I’ve got it – grace!” The teacher’s head snaps their way faster than you can say “foxy redhead.” Huh, so she’s a teacher, and her name is Grace. Gosh, could that be any easier? It’s like the show’s gotten so lazy, they’re handing Veronica the answers on a silver platter.

That’s a little cheesy, but it proves worthless anyway. The teacher didn’t do it. In fact, she’s all sorts of freaked when Veronica and company tell her about Des’ “medications” that have gone missing in the bag. (“He needs them to live” – heh.) Grace says she’ll do whatever it takes to get Desmond the medications he needs – so basically, she’s not a thief so much as a stalker.

Which reminds me, our cute, study-aide salesman, Max, has been calling Mac an awful lot lately, even though she’s still cozy with Bronson. Lucky for him, she has occasion to call him back while helping Logan with a last-minute assignment that involves designing a money-making Web site. He tackles a concept we’ve all wanted to see since the dawn of the internet – grademyass.com.

Too bad ghostridethevideo.com is already taken – I’d pay money to watch Dick have his foot run over again and again on video. Heck, I’d pay money to see Dick go head to head with the tough, streetwise kids who pioneered “ghost-riding the whip” before pampered suburban blonde boys started doing it. Hmm… I wonder how many brain cells there are between Dick and Desmond?

The mystery of the week turns out to be the lamest non-mystery of the show’s entire run, I think. I don’t mind the one-case-at-a-time thing the show has going on these days, but the case of Desmond’s missing tapes is just too silly to be worthwhile. The tapes are missing because… dun dun dun – Des the dummy picked up the wrong bag at the airport. That’s no mystery; that’s just lazy! His bag is with some cape-wearing guy in L.A., and Veronica and Piz make the journey to reclaim the tapes. All this for some has-been’s campus show? Oh, I forgot – it’s for a good cause.

It’s nice that Veronica and Piz get to have “the talk” – as much of a talk as they’re willing to have, anyway. “This is awkward, but not nearly as awkward as I thought it would be,” Piz reasons. Whew, that was easy. Still not sure I’m buying the whole “just friends” thing Veronica is trying to do, but whatever. Hey, that’s some pretty sweet mood music they’re playing in the car – wait, that’s Desmond’s music? Not half bad… and apparently Piz is thinking the same thing, since he advises Des to forget the backup tapes and go onstage with his new material. Plus, if the crowd doesn’t like it, it’s not like Piz is going to be there to get tomato-ed alongside Desmond.

Oh, so what’s going on with Keith this week? Thought you might be wondering. He’s got a visitor back at the station – it’s cute (former) Deputy Leo! Good to see him back on my TV screen, but it’s just not the same seeing him in plainclothes. He’s doing a security gig these days, he says, and he’s seen some suspicious action back at the job. Since Keith is back on the up and up in the law enforcement world, naturally he’s the right person to ask for help. Keith and Leo make a pretty good team – much better than that mustachioed nitwit Sacks.

Actually, this subplot is a bit of a yawn – except for, you know, the Keith and Leo part. The Fitzpatrick baddie in question gets busted, but not by the dynamic duo. It’s Vinnie Van Lowe who gets the job done, but whatever, the guy’s off the street for now, at least. Oh, and did I mention? It’s Vinnie Van Lowe! Always nice to see a recurring character continue to… recur. Looks like we’ll be seeing more of him, at least until the show meets its likely (but very untimely) demise the end of this season. He’s running against Keith for sheriff, and Keith seems genuinely threatened. Pshaw. Like Des says to his caller on the campus radio station, “Nazi gonna happen.”

Just as Piz predicted, Des’ show goes well when he ditches the old My Pretty Pony covers to play his own new stuff. Maybe coddling Desmond all day wasn’t such a bad thing for Piz, even if he did have to take being called “Fez,” “Pez” and my favorite, “Pus,” all day. Veronica’s impressed – at least I think she is, because last time I checked, “just friends” don’t hold hands. It’s no retina-scorching liplock, but I’ll take it.