Relationships

How Social Media Can Help Your Relationship

As much as we love Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, they’re not great for our romantic relationships. In fact, they’re a minefield of drama! Did your boyfriend like a girl’s bikini selfie on Instagram? Is someone favoriting your girlfriend’s Tweets just a little too often? Sure, it might be petty – but study after study has shown that social media is bad for our relationships.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be! Follow these guidelines to ensure that social media benefits your love life instead of worsening it.

Know that the length matters. One study found that Facebook-related conflict can lead to negative relationship outcomes – but only in couples who’d been dating for 3 years or less. That’s not that surprising, since so much of social-media-related relationship strife stems from insecurity about the relationship. Keeping this in mind can prevent you from freaking out next time your partner’s ex writes on his/her wall.

Update your relationship status. As it turns out, your relationship status does matter! One study found that acting like you’re committed on social media is correlated with high relationship satisfaction. That means interacting regularly and updating your relationship status.

Use it to stay in touch. No surprises here – if you’re in a long-distance relationship, social media is super helpful for your relationship by allowing you to communicate easily with each other. But this works just as well if you want to stay in touch during the day and can’t text, too.

Brag a little. Constant posts about how amazing your partner is bound to embarrass him/her and annoy your social media audience. But a sweet post once in a while (by which we mean a couple times a year, not twice a week) is romantic without being over-the-top.

Establish guidelines. If you’re obsessed with checking in, it can be hard to remember that some people don’t want their whereabouts broadcasted constantly. Establishing guidelines will help prevent social media conflicts with a private partner. Maybe you can check in without tagging your partner, or you only post certain photos on Instagram.

Don’t stalk. Sure, sometimes it’s fun to stalk your partner’s profile. But monitoring his/her social media accounts is just asking for trouble. You’ll likely read into innocent posts and if you bring these concerns up to your partner, he/she is going to feel attacked. So find a new hobby, preferably one that doesn’t involve any technology. Why not try an adult coloring book?

Ultimately, the most important rule you can follow when it comes to social media and relationships is to be aware. Sure, we like social media but it’s mindless – but it’s exactly that mindlessness that leads to problems. If you were paying attention, would you really Tweet that passive-aggressive comment about your earlier fight? Would you really share that photo you took while you were both in bed? Would you really be checking Vine during your date? Think. Be smart. With a little effort, it’s really not that hard.

As much as we love Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, they’re not great for our romantic relationships. In fact, they’re a minefield of drama! Did your boyfriend like a girl’s bikini selfie on Instagram? Is someone favoriting your girlfriend’s Tweets just a little too often? Sure, it might be petty – but study after study has shown that social media is bad for our relationships.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be! Follow these guidelines to ensure that social media benefits your love life instead of worsening it.

Know that the length matters. One study found that Facebook-related conflict can lead to negative relationship outcomes – but only in couples who’d been dating for 3 years or less. That’s not that surprising, since so much of social-media-related relationship strife stems from insecurity about the relationship. Keeping this in mind can prevent you from freaking out next time your partner’s ex writes on his/her wall.

Update your relationship status. As it turns out, your relationship status does matter! One study found that acting like you’re committed on social media is correlated with high relationship satisfaction. That means interacting regularly and updating your relationship status.

Use it to stay in touch. No surprises here – if you’re in a long-distance relationship, social media is super helpful for your relationship by allowing you to communicate easily with each other. But this works just as well if you want to stay in touch during the day and can’t text, too.

Brag a little. Constant posts about how amazing your partner is bound to embarrass him/her and annoy your social media audience. But a sweet post once in a while (by which we mean a couple times a year, not twice a week) is romantic without being over-the-top.

Establish guidelines. If you’re obsessed with checking in, it can be hard to remember that some people don’t want their whereabouts broadcasted constantly. Establishing guidelines will help prevent social media conflicts with a private partner. Maybe you can check in without tagging your partner, or you only post certain photos on Instagram.

Don’t stalk. Sure, sometimes it’s fun to stalk your partner’s profile. But monitoring his/her social media accounts is just asking for trouble. You’ll likely read into innocent posts and if you bring these concerns up to your partner, he/she is going to feel attacked. So find a new hobby, preferably one that doesn’t involve any technology. Why not try an adult coloring book?

Ultimately, the most important rule you can follow when it comes to social media and relationships is to be aware. Sure, we like social media but it’s mindless – but it’s exactly that mindlessness that leads to problems. If you were paying attention, would you really Tweet that passive-aggressive comment about your earlier fight? Would you really share that photo you took while you were both in bed? Would you really be checking Vine during your date? Think. Be smart. With a little effort, it’s really not that hard.