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Pain & Discomfort

I’ve posted along the way that I think that scar tissue has attached my uterus to various internal organs and is possibly restricting baby boy’s movement. I was assured by my OB that even if that was the case, given that the amniotic sac is a closed space, the scar tissue would not effect baby boy’s growth or development. And, indeed, it seems that he is growing appropriately. However, the presence of what I imagine to be bands of scar tissue are causing other problems for me, namely pain.

I had intermittent pain in my lower right abdomen (think where my ovaries would be) since my FET. It presented as a sort of burning sensation (like someone was rubbing my insides with an eraser). We attributed it to cysts. As this pregnancy has progressed and as my innards have moved, it now presents as a stabbing pain. At first it was inconsistent, happening on some days and not others. But now, it is definitely made worse by being active and/or when baby boy is moving (which is a lot of the time). Thanksgiving day and the day after it was so bad (it hurt to walk) that I considered going to L&D. But, since I’ve lived with this pain on/off throughout this entire pregnancy, and I didn’t want to give up a holiday, I just rode it out.

I am convinced it is scar tissue. The reason I know this is that as baby boy moves (and his movements are consistent), his swipes and stretches actually pull and tug at my insides. Like, I literally feel a tug up on my vagina and my rectum. So, he’ll move and I will feel a distinct pulling sensation in my behind that only stops when he relaxes. This is the same for my lower abdomen (both left and right) and it is now quite painful, sometimes causing me to double over or at least to wince.

So now, in addition to my concern over how this scar tissue is affecting his ability to move (and this is why I think he remains breech. I can feel him aggressively trying to turn (which is SO uncomfortable) but try as he might, he just can’t) this pain borderlines on unbearable sometimes.

Heretofore, neither my MFM or OB have been all that concerned. I’ve mentioned the pain and the tugging before but never in a way that I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to take it. But, at this point, if having an amnio to determine lung maturity would allow me to have my c-section a week early (even if that also means the week of Christmas), as unappealing as having an amnio sounds, if there is no other way to move my c-section date up, I would now consider it. And, even that would be 3 weeks away and I’m not sure I can go that long.

My regularly scheduled OB appointment (and final growth scan) is this Friday and I am going to attempt to move the appointment up. Not only do I want the reassurance that he is doing OK (because, silly as this sounds, I can’t even bring myself to take the tags off/wash any of the shower gifts I received, because, you know, what if…) but I want to discuss whether or not there are any other options for moving delivery up.

I delivered my son at 38w0d and without so much as a sideways look from my then OB. Yes, he would have preferred we wait until 39 weeks, but he never balked at my wanting to get off what turned out to be 26 weeks of bed rest. He never said he could be fined for performing a scheduled c-section fat 38 weeks, something my current MFM told me. She cited that the US is making a concerted effort to reduce the number and timing of c-sections overall. Now, I’m having one either way, so what difference does a week make, especially if 37 weeks is considered full-term? She would not schedule it for one day prior to 39 weeks UNLESS I had an amnio to determine lung maturity, which I could only do as early as 38 weeks. Now, really, how silly does that sound? Perform a risky (amnios are riskier at this gestation) invasive procedure in order to green light a c-section that is guaranteed to happen anyway? UGH. I suppose this is one of the bureaucratic hurdles of dealing with an HMO.

I delivered via planners section on Dec 23. Due to the holidays, it was 9 days before my due date but within the Canadian medical guidelines. I knew it was too early. She struggled to breath from the moment her lungs hit the air. They yanked her away from me and I had to tell my husband to follow the baby even though I was having breathing issues as well. She ended up having had wet lung and was in Neonatal ICU for hours. Lung development is critical and a week can make a huge difference. I’m sorry to hear that you are in such pain, it sounds horrible. I think you need to let your doctors know just how bad it is. Perhaps pain meds are medically less risky than delivering early? Hugs.

I’m sorry to hear that you are constantly in pain too. I can totally understand your need to just finish being pregnant and get on with the next bit, I hope that the appointment on Friday goes well. I also understand the tags not being off, those what if blocks in our heads are very powerful (I know somebody who delivered at full term without a single baby item in the house, even a crib, for similar IF related reasons),x

I am sorry I have been a lousy commentator – I never ever get to sit at the puter -it’s all on my phone – which is doable but a bit tediuos. ANyway, I am so sorry about the horrible pain you are in. I can’t imagine what that feels like but you describe it very well and it sounds awful. I hope somehow you can get some relief…
And yes, your letter to your birth mother. I too am wondering how that is going / went. It pains me to read about your two emotionally stunted mothers. You are a testament to resilience and the strength of the human spirit. It shouldn’t be necessary for anyone to be this resilient, and I am wish it wasn’t so.
Big hugs, my friend and praying for some pain relief.
xoxo

the pain sounds terrible, I’m so sorry.
I missed the scare from before but I’m so happy everything is ok. hang in there!

also wondering whatever happened with the letter to your birthmother. I liked your draft, esp the part about how important it is to you, not knowing any of your bio relatives. I really hope she responds positively, and soon!

I am so very sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I am hoping your next scan will be ok and that your OB will work with you coming with a much better plan for both you and the baby. Visiting from ICLW #33

They are regretting ever saying that full-term is 37 weeks…it just isn’t. The baby’s brain is still growing and they are serious, serious, serious about keeping babies inside until 39 weeks. Good luck, but I’d be surprised if they budge. It’s not just an HMO-thing: it’s like that everywhere and with every form of medical care.

I was in so much pain with Lucky being breech, too; even now my lowest right rib will ache where it meets my ribcage. I’m sorry it’s so uncomfortable and it’s definitely worth mentioning at your next appointment.