Sitting On Top of the World..

My mom introduced me to Al Jolson as a young child, and we would sit and watch The Jolson Story and Jolson Sings Again. Talk about someone chasing their dreams!

I cannot begin to tell how I awesome I feel this morning, it’s almost like the heaven opened up on me and rained down. (I have the feeling I am going to cry a lot while I write this, as I did last night). It’s all good so please read on!

I had dinner plans with Tiffany last night, our plan was to go The Keg as I had not been to one since I walked away from my job this past September. It’s always busy, at any restaurant, in the month of December and last night was no exception. I did have the foresight to make a reservation which helped, and when we arrived there was a light smattering of snowflakes in the air. Ahh the magic of Christmas and for the first time in over 20 years I am finally getting to enjoy it.

Dinner was as awesome as expected, the food was great but the company was even better. Tiffany and I picked up right where we left on Sunday morning and sharing just an amazing conversation picking up right where we left off from Sunday. Sharing stories from each of our pasts, and learning more about each other on such a personal level. I sat there throughout dinner listening to, as we called it a Shitstorm of life events that she had to continually deal with her entire life right up to present day. What life has dealt her, well I don’t think that I would have had the personal strength to overcome it and at the same time have this wonderful smile still on her face.

We talked about how and why she was able to maintain such a positive outlook on life because what she has, the way she looks at life, the way she can continually turn lemons in lemonade is truly amazing and inspiring. Sidenote, she ordered lemonade with dinner. She told me that with all that life has thrown her way the only control that we have in our lives is way we react to it, how we let it affect us on a personal level. We both agreed that there is much in life that is beyond our control and the only thing that each of us, everyone can, is themselves.

I’ve only recently been able to adapt this attitude, this mindset, this outlook on life recently..

Test 1 ~ literally just happened, driving Megan to school and noticed that my Jeep was broken into overnight and my sunglasses were stolen. It’s just a thing, right Tiffany?

I want to be able to make sure this attitude towards life sticks with me for the rest of my life. I honestly believe that it will as I have chosen to surround myself with people that this exact outlook on life. That can take the weight of the world as it comes, can process and deal with these stresses in a positive and production manner, to battle the darkness with light as opposed to living in that darkness and feeding its vicious cycle.

Tiffany and I could have talked all night I am sure, and I am also sure that more opportunities will present itself in the days and weeks to come Driving her home at the end of dinner, sharing stories about our most embarrassing moments and ending the night with a nice warm hug (we can all use lots of these) and as I drove I thought that I had a pretty great evening…

It turns out that this was only the beginning of the magic in store for me.

When I got home I checked in on both my teen-aged daughters, first Megan hugging and kissing her goodnight. Then it was knock on Emily’s door, she was happy and in a good mood. She was being the shoulder to cry on for her friend that needed some support last night, I asked if she had a chance to look over the house expectations that I had laid out for her a few days ago, which she initially refused to even acknowledge.

She told me that she had and was going to choose option one, staying at Dad’s house. I asked if she was willingly to accept all of the conditions, again saying yes. I knew instantly that I was going to cry as I could feel the hope and love flooding into me, Emily asked if I was going to cry to which I replied, yes. Her friend turned to me and said that I could cry with her… it was a very touching moment for me.

Emily and I still have a lot of work together moving forward and I need to see through her actions more so than her words that she really wants to change her life. It is a process that we will work together on, and in time it will also help repair our relationship building a new one together. One small step at a time, but I am filled with a new sense of hope.

Saying goodnight to Emily I returned to my room ready for bed, a few tears rolling down my cheeks. I opened my email to read this…

I hope that your week has improved. I can’t imagine what you are going through as a parent and dealing with all you have on your plate. I want you to know that I give you credit for stepping up and being the best single dad that you can. I have seen a huge difference in Austin since September. You are a huge part of the little boys happy life now and he makes sure everyone knows it. As I said on Monday I am here to support you and the kids in anyway that I can. I have been a part of your family for the past 5 years. Stepping back from daycare was really hard for me because I truly care and believe that I am a small part of the child’s community that can make that difference. No matter what has happened with Emily know that everyday is a new day and never give up no matter how hard it maybe because one day she will need the great dad that I have started seeing in the past few months.

Bonnie

Bonnie was our child care provider when we first moved to Barrie and as you can see continues to be an important piece of my support circle moving forward. Upon reading this it just another wave of tears to my eyes. The positive energy, the openness the love that I have trying to put out into the world, in such a short time has come back to me a 100 times over. Just having hope and happiness in my life has really changed my world.