If Santa existed in real life, would he be arrested?

I ask: What crime or crimes has he committed? Numerous base allegations have been made: 1. Trespass/Breaking & entering. Sa...

I ask: What crime or crimes has he committed? Numerous base allegations have been made:

1.
Trespass/Breaking & entering. Santa only goes to houses where he is
invited in. The invitations used to be posted up the chimney but these
days many are sent by email and I believe that leaving out a glass of
sherry, a mince pie and a carrot (for Rudolph, as is common practice in
the UK) would be regarded by a jury as "implied consent to visit".

2.
Slave labor. Information regarding the working conditions in Santa's
workshops is scanty but we have no reason to believe his elves work in
conditions which are unsafe or that their working conditions are
unsanitary or otherwise inappropriate.

3.
Theft. No supplier of raw materials has ever, to the best of my
knowledge, filed a suit against Santa. The consumables left out for him
would not be considered to have been stolen in common law.

4.
Import/export law. This is more of an issue. It would seem that Santa
moves large amounts of goods across national borders without paying duty
but this has never been proven. Although it is said that
Santa's workshop is at the North Pole, it has never been demonstrated
that it is the only one. By analogy, Amazon is an American company - but
not everything I buy from them comes from an American warehouse or
factory.

5. Regulations relating to
airspace. The mechanism by which Santa travels from place to place is rumored to be by a flying sleigh pulled by reindeer (which further
invokes questions related to animal cruelty) but this has never been proven.
Unless the prospecting counsel has evidence showing the existence of
this so-called "flying sleigh", I insist that this charge be stricken
from the record.

6.
Blackmail/Protectionism. Children are informed that Santa keeps "Nice
list" and a "Naughty list" and it is alleged that this constitutes
blackmail - inclusion on the "Naughty list" would have a deleterious
effect on the childrens future quality of life. I state for the record
that the converse is true; children are - as are we all! - inherently on
the Naughty List, and rightly so. The scheme nobly created and run by
my client enables children - by the simple expedient of being good - to
remove themselves from the Naughty List and to gain the benefits that
being on the Nice List brings. This is no more blackmail that when a
dentist advices us to brush daily to avoid tooth decay.

My
lord and members of the jury, it is patently clear to all that the
charges against my client are a trumped up pack of lies and I call for
them to be dropped and for Mr Claus to be released forthwith without a
stain upon his reputation.