Philosophy teacher. Talks at about the speed of a hummingbird on speed. May or may not be a pathological liar. Did the Cheese Story actually happen? Does Boguski Island really exist? We'll never know.

"Hey, Mr. Boguski, ever been to Verona?"
"Why, yes, I have. And while I was there I ended up getting chased through the piazza by two Italian thugs after accidentally ordering $850 worth of cheese . . ."