Real Talk

Ravelry

Since my last episode, Ravelry has updated their TOS to be more strict with prohibiting hate speech and white supremacy, which I fully support. There has been a lot of emotional labour involved in the BIPOC community to push Ravelry to make their site safer for BIPOC members and I’m really glad to see that Ravelry listened.

Nathan Taylor and Benjamin Till.

Nathan made a post tone policing BIPOC contributors under the #diversknitty hashtag

When called out and educated on his post, Nathan closed comments and edited most of the text on that post.

I posted about this on Instagram, but I saw a troubling amount of silence from white folks regarding his post. There was also an unsurprisingly large base of fans supporting his tone policing.

His post was damaging and irresponsible, but I was not surprised by it.

Nathan is an openly gay man with HIV, which is not at the top of the priviledge ladder, but he is a white, cisgendered man in an affluent country who, from what he presents to us online, does not live on or below the poverty line.

Those are a lot of things that boost him closer to the top of that privilege ladder.

I have seen him more than once equate his struggles as a gay man with the struggles of BIPOC and non-cis folks, so it didn’t surprise me that when people pointed out how his words were harmful to BIPOC in particular and provided resources for him to educate himself, he shut down the thread.

There are screenshots of the original text of the post and of Nathan’s and his husband’s responses in the comments available on Instagram.

Benjamin Till (Nathan’s husband) posted to Nathan’s account saying that he had to be hospitalized and places the blame on people calling out the racism in the prior post. He continued to engage and encourage racist behaviour and language in the comments of that post.

Benjamin shut down his own Instagram account and has posted multiple times to an external blog, which has included detailed, graphic descriptions of his husband’s mental breakdown and calls to action against BIPOC commenters on Nathan’s account, singling out specific BIPOC Instagram users

Sunday, July 14th 2019, Nathan made an appearance at Yarningham to sell books and teach workshops (which had been in contract prior to his inflammatory posts on Instagram), despite his recent hospitalization. When he was approached at the book table by a woman of color and asked questions about his post, he attacked her, had to be physically restrained, and had to be removed from the event.

This is appalling and violent. This is why BIPOC do not feel safe in majority white spaces.

White supremacy is an infection. It’s everywhere, just slowly seeping in. We need to crack ourselves open and carve it out. There are many ways to do that and the amazing BIPOC in this community have been handing us the means to do it with books, workshops, videos, and posts on how to use our power, patronage, donations, words, and voices to make change and hold ourselves accountable.

There has been, and still is, a lot of disappointing silence from white makers, podcasters, and businesses in response to Nathan and Benjamin’s behaviour. It took physical violence against a woman of color before a lot of people even started to see a problem. This is not okay.

Online Responsibility

I also want to make a point about taking responsibility for your audience on social media and other spaces online.

For comparison, these are my numbers– YouTube (1389), Instagram (732), Tumblr (369), Twitter (187). If we pretend that there’s no overlap in those numbers, that’s 2677 people. That’s enough people to nearly fill the Danbury Ice Arena in Danbury, CT.

Nathan has over 20K followers on Instagram and over 17K subscribers on YouTube. His Instagram followers alone could fill Madison Square Garden.

His behaviour regarding not taking responsibility for how his audience will use his words is a serious problem.

This is a problem that I’ve seen time and again on YouTube and Instagram as people become online celebrities, since the first YouTube mega-celebrities back in 2008.

When you have those numbers, posting to YouTube and Instagram is not hanging out with a few friends in someone’s living room.

When you have MY numbers, it’s not just hanging out with a few friends in someone’s living room. I know it feels like that, but it isn’t.

When you have those numbers, ANYTHING you post is an announcement to a stadium full of people.

It is SO EASY for that amount of people- even if each one saw the post or video alone- to mob, to jump to conclusions, to react in a way that they never would if someone said an ignorant or hurtful statement one-on-one.

It’s okay to make mistakes. Offhand Twitter comments or troublesome language in a post is going to happen.

When it’s pointed out to you, feel your feelings in private and then stop to think about it. Reach out to people who are volunteering the emotional labour to educate you and, if they are willing, discuss the situation with them. Admit your mistakes. Own that you messed up and clarify your mistake and what you’ve learned. It’s okay to change your mind on something! This is how we learn and grow.

But when BIPOC point out how your words to 20K people are going to hurt them and your response is “I don’t care about that,” that is irresponsible, entitled, and damaging to the community that you INSIST you are trying to “improve.”

Alright. I’m going to ask you to pause this video and feel your feelings about what I just said. Come back tomorrow if you need to. The crafting? The crafting will be here.

Dye Stuff

Lichen Dye – I’ve had lichen soaking in an ammonia and water mixture since December and I decided that, since there is an ammonia base to this dye, I would be solar dyeing this mixture for less smell. It sat in a jar in the sun for about a week and a half.

Purple Basil Dye – True solar dye, about 50g purple basil leaves from my garden in water in a jar in the backyard for 4 days, 8% alum solution on the fiber, fiber sat in the dye stock for about a week

WIPs

Comfort Fade Cardi by Andrea Mowry – Once Upon a Corgi Handmade yarns (Queequeg/Briny Beach,Tomorrow I Shall Be Fetterless/Lemony Snicket, Miracles and meatballs/ Ghoul Haunted Woodlands of Weir, Dark as a Crow at Night/ Dying to Burn at the Stake) – US 4/3.5 mm needle

I just wanted to make sure to point out that this video podcast does have Closed Captioning and there are transcripts of that CC file included in the show notes on freakishlemon.com. I think that’s something that I’ve been forgetting to mention in my intro. I’m updating my default notes file to include this information, so that shouldn’t happen in the future. Also, if you use the transcript included in my show notes and have any feedback for me, please share! Shoot me a message somewhere, comment below, comment on the blog post – I’ll find it at some point.

Dye Stuff

Memorial Day Weekend Dye Adventures – Natural dyes, all-in-one dye method using two pots on two portable burners using 8% of the fiber’s dry weight alum as a fixative, all samples sat in the cooling dye bath for at least 8 hours (most of them overnight)

Comfort Fade Cardi by Andrea Mowry – Once Upon a Corgi Handmade yarns (Queequeg/Briny Beach,Tomorrow I Shall Be Fetterless/Lemony Snicket, Miracles and meatballs/ Ghoul Haunted Woodlands of Weir, Dark as a Crow at Night/ Dying to Burn at the Stake) – US 4/3.5 mm needle

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite – HP game in the style of Pokemon Go. It’s alright, but I think it’s leaning too heavily on the aesthetic of the HP world. The animations are so long compared to Pokemon Go and I think that’s entirely to the less detailed design of the Pokemon franchise.

Welcome back from my hiatus! My last episode was mid-January, which was a period of time that culminated in some previously unrealized levels of stress. So if you didn’t see my instagram post about dropping the podcast for a bit, that’s why I haven’t been posting regular episodes here.

Things that have happened since my last episode include —

Medical nonsense

Mental health stuff

Job Stuff – A long-time coworker friend left the job and my supervisor was fired in the same week

Reading copious amounts of fanfiction

Started studying witchcraft

Taking a lot of walks

Making my own granola bars

Sleeping a lot

Gardening

Curating down my social media and YouTube feeds

Reorganizing my entire home library

Podcast Stuff

Schedule? Who dat? I’d like to return to a monthly schedule, but I don’t know if I’m at a place where that is a reasonable expectation.

FOs

Shagbark by Tian Foley – US 8/5.0 mm needles – Classic Elite Yarns MountainTop Blackthorn “Wolf” – gauge is looser than what is described, but I like the fabric so I calc’d what size I would need with the gauge I have – cast on the smallest size.

Comfort Fade Cardi by Andrea Mowry – Once Upon a Corgi Handmade yarns (Queequeg/Briny Beach,Tomorrow I Shall Be Fetterless/Lemony Snicket, Miracles and meatballs/ Ghoul Haunted Woodlands of Weir, Dark as a Crow at Night/ Dying to Burn at the Stake) – US 4/3.5 mm needle

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages – Brilliant and amazing and I loved these stories

Jailbreaking the Goddess: A Radical Revisioning of Feminist Spirituality by Lasara Firefox Allen – Slow going because of the workshopping nature of this book, but I am enjoying the process

Magical Destinations of the Northeast: Sacred Sites, Occult Oddities & Magical Monuments by Natalie Zaman – It’s interesting, but there’s something about it that isn’t as compelling as I was expecting? Some of the entries seem too brief to be useful.

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham – It’s interesting to put modern Wicca in context, but it’s just confirming that Wicca itself is not what I’m looking for and there’s some dated, problematic language in this book that can turn me off to the actually useful information in this book.

Natural Color by Sasha Duerr – Very helpful find from my local library

The Last of the Jedi by Jude Watson – Finally nearing the end of the series!

. #diversknitty – I wanted to briefly mention this here as a challenge to myself. I’m not caught up on podcasts, so I don’t know if any other white makers have said anything about this aloud yet, but it’s easier to write this kind of thing and so much harder to say it. Over the past couple of days there’s been an intense discussion regarding racism in the knitting community, which, I think, has been a long time coming. Go search and follow the hashtag #diversknitty to see what’s going on there and there’s a post on my feed that’s easy to spot if you need a place to get started. I’m not going to waffle on about it, but the bottom line is that white designers, dyers, and makers are more welcome because of societal racism and we, as white folks, need to do better to unlearn these biases. We need to support the groups that are harmed by the way our language and our choices are shaped by a history of oppression and genocide. Buy yarn. Buy patterns. Promote and share the amazing work done by makers of color in our community. That’s the bottom line. We have to do the work. And I want to encourage the white folks watching this to take a minute and think about why we feel guilty or angry or scared or whatever whenever this type of discussion comes up – because we all feel something when the conversation turns in this direction and that’s the first step.

Christmas shirt – McCall’s M6044 size L – a little big in the shoulders and upper back, but a decent first go at it. Will make another muslin with the shoulders, upper arms, and back in the size below before making the next shirt. May add some darts or a cinching buttoned tab in the back on this shirt to make it fit a little better.

Shagbark by Tian Foley – US 8/5.0 mm needles – Classic Elite Yarns MountainTop Blackthorn “Wolf” – gauge is looser than what is described, but I like the fabric so I calc’d what size I would need with the gauge I have – cast on the smallest size.

Ritual Dyes Knitting Backpack knock off – (you should absolutely buy an official one if you have the money and want one) – Green duck canvas, brown 1.5” belting for straps, brown leather scrap for loop, approx 6”x6” zipper pocket. Edges finished using an overlocking/cutting foot on my sewing machine.

Liesl & Co Metro T-Shirt – Grey/black stripe and Star Wars long-sleeved T-shirts – grey/black was a little more slim fitted than I like, so I added ½” to each side of the front, back, and sleeves. The ¼” seam allowance was too small for my machine.

Shagbark by Tian Foley – US 8/5.0 mm needles – Classic Elite Yarns MountainTop Blackthorn “Wolf” – gauge is looser than what is described, but I like the fabric so I calc’d what size I would need with the gauge I have – cast on the smallest size.

Celestial Blood – Radionovela about twins Sol and Mundo who discover that their father Arturo had 9 other children that they didn’t know about and their search for their brothers and sisters

Spines – Two months ago, Wren woke up covered in blood, suffering from memory loss, and surrounded by the remnants of some strange cult ritual. SPINES is the story of her search for answers, and the deadly, powerful people she encounters along the way.

Transcript and CC – Podcast episodes are going to be released slower in relation to the filming date because I want to make more of an effort to transcribe and CC these episodes. I discovered that YouTube has made an effort to do the automatic transcription on videos longer than 45 minutes, so I’m going to be using that to clean up and make CC’s and transcriptions for my episodes. I did the CC on the last video and I’ve added to CC as a transcription to the post on freakishlemon.com. I’ve added the transcription to any posts where I had a CC file for back episodes. If anyone would like to help me edit the auto CC files, please check out the link below. It takes a while to go through these and I have a not small amount of back episodes to work on, so any help would be appreciated. Episode CC Project

2018 Blanket MAL! There’s a thread up on Rav for photos and discussion, so please join us there as you work on blankets.

Tablet weaving band from a chart in Card Weaving by Candace Crockett – Nazli Gelin Garden 3 in black, red, yellow, and white – on a tablet weaving loom from chuckjones on Etsy, which doesn’t appear to be a shop on that platform anymore

Half Square Triangle Quilt – part of the HST QAL – finished!

So Sew Easy – Easy Serger Scrap Catcher – I think I found this for free on Craftsy. Used some interfaced quilting cotton. I found most of the tutorial to be easy to follow, but towards the end it started to lack in details. Not a big deal because I’ve sewn enough rectangles to see how they should fit together, but I don’t think that this was the best way to assemble these pieces.

Fall mini-batts drop spindling – with new Turtle Made top whorl drop spindle

Ritual Dyes Knitting Backpack knock off – Gabby/OUAC and Lauren/Colorwheel Yarns both had these knitting backpacks from Ritual Dyes, which are really well made and lovely and you should absolutely buy one if you have the money and want one. It seemed like a cool idea and I have some additions that I want to play with, so I took some measurements and started a pattern draft to work out my own.

Technically a women’s pattern, but the only difference between a “women’s” tank top and a “men’s” tank top is a smidge of waist shaping and the size of the arm hole, which doesn’t bring up any gender-junk for me.

I measured a t-shirt for finished garment measurements and ended up making the size 16 top.

I made this pattern according to the pattern exactly.

It fits comfortably except that the neckline is lower than I had anticipated.

First time sewing a garment with knit fabric – not my favourite, but I’ll be more proficient with it with practice.

Used an old jersey bed sheet that is super worn out and soft

Grey tank top #2 – Lago Tank by Itch to Stitch – same as before except for the following

Front and back pieces are 2 halves seamed in the middle because I didn’t make the best use of space cutting out the first one

Raised the neckline by about 2”

Used the armhole and neck bands as facings and trimmed the excess after zig-zagging the facings down flat

Sewing with knit fabric was easier the second time around

Slytherin Scarf – LK 150 dial tension 3, tension rod 5 – adapted from the scarf measurements and stripe repeats from Harry Potter Hogwarts House Scarf by Dovile Petra – Knit Picks Wool of the Andes Sport in Aurora Heather and Dove Heather – stockinette stitch double width to fold and seam instead of ribbing – I had to stop because I ran out of green, so I scrapped it off rather than leaving it on the floor while I wait for more yarn to come in.

Dye Projects

Found a white bed sheet that no one in the house remembers buying – dyed it grey with “Raven” Procion dye to use as a possible quilt back

Dyed various fibers blue for rolags and batts

Handmade rolags from stash fibers and extras – I had originally started collecting these fibers and extras to open up an Etsy shop, but I’ve come to the realization that starting a proper business is not in the cards any time soon, so I’ve decided

Tablet weaving band from a chart in Card Weaving by Candace Crockett – Nazli Gelin Garden 3 in black, red, yellow, and white – on a tablet weaving loom from chuckjones on Etsy, which doesn’t appear to be a shop on that platform anymore

Half Square Triangle Quilt – part of the HST QAL – Basted and started quilting

Less than a year after the death of the Potters, Rose Evans and her husband Lyle take care of their orphaned grandson, Harry, and try to take steps toward a future where he’ll be loved and accepted. Spring is coming, and with it, the memory of stirring warmth, and the first real hope for life and growth.

Nixing the “New Stuff” segment from the normal episodes of this podcast. At this point in my making, I’m trying to work through older stash and exploring new forms of making. Any new yarn coming is, in general, there to supplement what I already have. I’ll be talking about any new equipment pretty quickly after I get it, since I want to play with all the things. I don’t think the “New Stuff” segment is currently adding anything to the podcast.

I’ll resurrect “New Stuff” for event hauls, like Rhinebeck and Yarn Crawls, since there’s value is showing what is available at events like this for folks who might be thinking of attending in the future.

Also nixing “Life Stuff” as a routine segment. If I have things to talk about from my life, I’ll just talk about them throughout the podcast as it becomes relevant.

Lanyard out of wool tablet weaving – tried sewing it together, which worked, but the ends were uneven and it was really bothering me. I cut that bit off and needle felted the join, which feels and looks much better.

Practice free motion quilting squares – done with all my practice squares. While my machine quilting is not the best, I definitely have a better handle on the free motion quilting foot and what designs I can get started with to build up those skills on actual quilts.

Tablet weaving band from a chart in Card Weaving by Candace Crockett – Nazli Gelin Garden 3 in black, red, yellow, and white – on a tablet weaving loom from chuckjones on Etsy, which doesn’t appear to be a shop on that platform anymore

Half Square Triangle Quilt – part of the HST QAL – I added the two borders to the quilt, cut out the batting, and sewed the backing piece. Nothing’s been basted together yet, but I’m hoping to get that sorted today.

Slytherin Scarf – LK 150 dial tension 3, tension rod 5 – adapted from the scarf measurements and stripe repeats from Harry Potter Hogwarts House Scarf by Dovile Petra – Knit Picks Wool of the Andes Sport in Aurora Heather and Dove Heather – stockinette stitch double width to fold and seam instead of ribbing – I had to stop because I ran out of green, so I scrapped it off rather than leaving it on the floor while I wait for more yarn to come in.

Swatches

Fingering weight sweater blank sweater – KH836e – I’ve done all the calculations for this sweater, so I should be starting it soon and then I’m going to move on from this pattern for a while.

Hand Update – Saw a hand surgeon/specialist after not getting answers from the general ortho doctor. I have double jointed wrists which means that my carpals stretch more than the average. The carpals are loose and in certain positions (like hands flat out for typing), the carpals won’t stay precisely in place and will touch the nerve, causing irritation and inflammation. The doc said that if I didn’t work an office job and I had a job with more hand movement, I probably wouldn’t have exhibited symptoms.

FOs

Tuck Stitch Hat – LK 150 – Once Upon a Corgi “Snow Scout” held double – used mock rib at the same tension as the main body (dial 6) – Fits well, but still a smidge snug

Tuck Stitch Hat – LK 150 – Once Upon a Corgi “You Are In Fact In the Dark” held double – hung hem at the same tension as the main body (st st is narrower than tuck stitch) – best fitting out of the 3 hats I’ve made with this tuck stitch pattern

Last Son of Krypton scarf – 12 dent heddle, warped with fingering weight yarns with vertical stripes, weft is handspun that I called The Last Son of Krypton. Plain weave.

Scarfie Sweater Blank by Renee Callahan – Lion Brand Scarfie – LK150 tension 7 dial 8 – the size Large with the Medium sized neck size. – I really like the fit. I added 2” to the back for a high-low hem. Hung hem for the waist and cuffs, rolled hem for the neck. I tried this on and I really like how this fits. I’m definitely going to do one more of these in fingering weight.

Our Fair City – Our Fair City is an online Audio Play/Podcast set in a future dystopian version of Hartford, CT. Following a climate-change-related disaster, humanity is now confined to subterranean cities. HartLife, an insurance company, now runs the lives of all “policies” in the city. Lightning rigs high above the city gather energy from thunderstorms, mad scientists walk the earth, and adorably monstrous Molepeople dig tunnels deep underground to expand the city’s habitable space. Framed as “true dramatizations of our city’s glorious history,” Our Fair City is equal parts camp, sci-fi horror, and folk tale. So listen, and remember. (TVtropes.org summary)

Freed – Freed is a radio-drama podcast detailing the ramifications a worldwide pandemic has on people and the world as a whole, told through bi-weekly updates from the cozy yet abandoned mountain town of Freed. Learn more about the town’s history, the fall of humanity, and how to help rebuild society. In the meantime, be safe. Be strong. Be alive.

Subject: Found – Subject: Found is a bi-weekly audio drama. Each new season will feature a new subject, a new story, a new monster. In Season 2, Janis Herring pursues the monster terrorizing Memphis, Tennessee, and the story will make her a legend.

The Walk – A thriller in which you, the listener, are the hero. The Walk begins in Inverness station, Scotland. Through a case of mistaken identity, you, “the walker,” are given a vital package that must be couriered to Edinburgh. But as you’re about to board the train, terrorists blow it up and set off an electromagnetic pulse! None of the cars or trains are working – you’ll have to walk – but now the terrorists are on your trail because they want the device you’re carrying, and the police are after you as a suspect in the bombing. To survive, you’ll have to join up with other escapees from the city – but how many of them can you trust, and are they really who they say they are?

Tunnels – The Tunnels is a serialized audiodrama about the mysterious tunnels that can be found underneath a small town in Georgia. What are they? What is their history? What are those mysterious sounds heard within them? Find out what’s just below the surface of the town, because if you look underneath, there is so much more.

Station to Station – A handful of fading memories, the remains of a research project, and a garbled tape recorder are all Dr Miranda Quan has to her name when her research partner goes missing on the eve of a 10-week ocean expedition. Now, she must try to find closure in the midst of a rapidly-unraveling conspiracy, surrounded by a handful of unlikely allies, several likely threats, and the icy waters of the North Pacific. Something sinister lurks in the heart of the research ship Astrid, and Miranda must rely on her wits to piece together an answer. Station to Station is an scifi-horror audio drama about loss, memory, morality, and what gets left behind.

Stuff I’m Reading:

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages by Saundra Mitchell

Take a journey through time and genres to discover stories where queer teens live, love and shape the world around them.Seventeen young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens.

From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten.

Harry is an elf. No, he’s not a bloody house elf. He lived in a place where they had got him confused with a house elf for nearly six years. They had him doing all the chores and he slept in a cupboard. Not a particularly cheerful cupboard, either. But he’s not a house elf. He’s a regular elf, thank you. Come on, people. It’s like you’re not wizards or something. PreHogwarts, NOT a creature fic. Character study.

There are 3 parts to this fic, pre Hogwarts, Hogwarts, and another fic during Hogwarts and it has the best kind of in-universe kid-logic I’ve ever seen in a fic featuring young Harry

‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.

An excellent alternate Year 7 where Harry never attended Hogwarts and learns about the magical world while dodging Death Eaters with some of the DA crew and Draco Malfoy while teaching these witches and wizards street smarts in the Muggle world