i am a cactus!

mexico. you are a memory now, now you sit in my life as a place i’ve conquered. i use that word heavily. i didn’t die, mexico. thank you. i wasn’t one of the unlucky ones caught in the crossfire of the drug war. not one of the 30,000 dead, for nothing…or anything. i didn’t get mugged, nothing was stolen, no bellies aching. i think i like you, mexico. i think i do.

of course nothing was going to happen, how silly of me. but when you’re sitting at a restaurant and there are soldiers, in their pale greens, in their khaki, with machine guns slung across their bodies, you have to wonder. what could be so bad that a machine gun is necessary? a machine gun. you have to wonder.

it’s 2011. my ‘year that was’, now just is. and i am left thinking. about the one to come, the one i’m in. i’ve learned so much, so far. i don’t want that to stop. ever. a life without self discovery is a life i don’t want.

new years eve, watching the fireworks ten metres away on the beach in cabo was exhilarating. my body ached from excitement of cheers’ and happy new year’s and champagne bubbling through my body. warming me as the bon fire tried too hard to do and my feet remained numb, frozen in the sand.

a hesitant walk led to a bar with party hats and tequila shots and kids from corona who race dirt bikes and spoke about our accents. the mexican president, partying with us. body shots too late declined. the pressure built, no climax prevailed. thank goodness, perhaps.

and then the come down. the realisation. another year has passed.

i saw in the new year later than ever, with friends and family from home promising resolutions 18 hours before. but we did it mexican style. and we did it well.

cabo gave me something nowhere has given me yet. sorry, i’m still trying to figure out exactly what it is. maybe it wasn’t even cabo…