Dear Millie: Month Thirteen and Fourteen

Well, the truth is getting to that one year mark was so much build up that after it, the time has just kind of blended together and I missed your 13 and 14 month letter by a bit, so I’m combining them. So many people talk about the first birthday, and once we hit yours, I was filled with so many emotions. I still can’t believe you are one, it simply doesn’t feel like you’ve been with us for that long, and I look back at old photos and videos of you often and miss those days. But man, these past two months have been crazy, as far as you changing and growing, and I love it!

Each day, I wake up to noises of you playing in your crib—you rarely cry—but often you kick the crib so hard the entire second floor of the house shakes, and that is my wake up call from you. From the moment you get up until the end of the day, you are incredibly active. You don’t like sitting around, you don’t like being held, you don’t like resting. You love to play and explore, you love going outside, you love discovering new things. It’s so fun to watch, but also exhausting for me. Your grandma tells me that I won’t realize how active you are until the next baby comes, because it would be hard to match your level of activity, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing—it’s just tiring to you around!

You like climbing on everything you find and into every small space possible. The big hutch in our dining room is your new favorite hiding place, and you spend quite a bit of time in there throughout the day. Open, shut, hide, repeat. You love “talking” and telling stories, and your sweet little voice is my favorite sound in the entire world. You started singing too, which again is your adorable voice making sweet noises to your favorite songs (you still love Moana and now are on a Frozen kick, too).

You love seeing other kids – it’s the kids that delight you and adults are just meh for you. The kids in the neighborhood are always asking for you to play, and we either play in their yards or go to the park. One of your best friends, who we see often, was set on having you walk, and she’s been hard at work getting you to walk. You have been able to walk for a few months but you don’t show any interest in actually walking. (Granted, this letter is late and you are not just walking but running up a storm now!) For you, walking is slow and a nuisance. You prefer crawling, and you are an expert crawler and it doesn’t bother you if you need to carry something—you actually use your mouth to carry things while you crawl, or you do this side scoot that looks hilarious but allows you to quickly move from point A to point B. Your stubbornness continues to show in your personality in every way, and I love that part about you—you know what you want and you don’t hold back.

You love music and are enthralled by hearing and seeing live music. You get as close as possible and try to study it all. If you continue to love music, I’ll try some lessons when you’re older, but who knows if that will take—your dada and I are not musically inclined. You love seeing anything flying in the sky, and we take trips to the airport to watch the planes take off. Your little finger points up into the sky and you let out an enthusiastic “ohhhhhhh” when there is a plane taking off or a bird in flight. You’re inquisitive and love life, you live for the small things, and I try to always remind myself we don’t need something huge, as you find the beauty in what we as adults consider ordinary.

Sometimes when I look at you now, I realize you aren’t a baby, you are a small toddler, and that is exciting and sad all at once. I can’t believe how fast the time goes and how desperately I want to soak in every moment with you. I want to remember it all, live in it all, and never forget all these little aspects of your life and personality. Sometimes I feel the days just slipping by and I find myself scrolling through photos of you on my phone in the evenings trying to remember it all.

You are and will always be my everything. My heart sometimes feels like it can’t take how much I love you, and I am so thankful that when I remember to write these letters, I’ll have something to come back to and always remember each stage of your life.

Love,

Mama

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