I walked slowly down the stairs, dragging my feet behind me.
All that I could think of was coffee. It sounds awful but I didn’t give a shit where Ty and Kati were or what the fuck my brother, my parents or Gerard were doing, all I wanted was coffee and some more sleep.
I was sure I had slept for a whole day but I was still so fucking tired. I guess that’s what having a baby does to you.
I trudged into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes. After pouring water from the just boiled kettle into a mug, I searched the cupboard frantically, for coffee. When I finally found it, I put a spoonful of it into my cup and stirred with a sigh of relief. Finally, some peace and…
"Gahhhh.” I groaned as I heard Ty screaming.
“What the fuck?” I mumbled, with my eyes nearly shut as I entered the front room to find Frank and Jamia on one sofa, Gerard attempting to feed Ty and Mikey holding Kati on the other sofa.
“Shhhhh, you don’t want his first words to be ‘what the fluff’ now do you?” Gerard said, nodding his head towards Ty who was happily eating his tinned vegetable shit.
I laughed at Gerard’s use of the word ‘fluff.’ It was funny to hear him trying not to swear, when Ty spat out some of his food on Gerard’s shirt.
“Motherfluffing nhit face,” he grumbled.
I laughed and flung myself down in the chair in the corner as my eyes began to close.

I woke to the sound of the television.
“Oh my god,” I squeaked as I opened my eyes to see Ray and Bob had arrived too, and they were all staring at me sat there in Gerard’s old shirt and my pants. Fuck.
“Y’know, not to be awful or anything but you look like death warmed up…” Ray said, walking over to me.
He used his thumb to rub some of the black make-up smudges from around my eyes.
“Where’s Gerard?” I asked, looking around.
“He’s just put the kids to bed, babe.” Frank said.
“What, why? It’s not time for their nap yet, it’s only like… 6 in the afternoon, shit.” I said, looking at the clock then flopping back onto the chair and groaning.
“Ahh, my beautiful girl is awake,” Gerard said walking over to me and kneeling by my side, “how are you feeling?”
“Still tired, even though the baby was born almost a month ago. How come you can cope, why the fuck are you so happy? Huh?” I snapped.
“If I was you Im sure I would be tired too, baby. I’m here for you though, anytime you need me. I’ll always be here,” he said, stroking my cheek.
“Im sorry for snapping at you. You’re so sweet; you know I love you, right?” I said, sitting upright and kissing Gerard.
“Of course I do. I love you too.” he smiled.

Everything had gone downhill for me after Kaitlin was born.
Everybody had been so good to me, helping me out whenever they could.
Gerard and Mikey were at my constant beckoned call, bringing me whatever I wanted and caring for the kids. Frank would be here for me when I felt down and he would get me anything I asked for. Even Ray and Bob would come over with gifts and Starbucks coffee for me whenever they could. Jamia was always here too, clearing stuff up and helping me with the Kati when I was busy with Ty. My god, my friends are so awesome. It’s times like these when you realise just how much they mean to you.
I was starting to realise that my parents were the best parents ever, too. They would do everything for me, running around to make me happy. I just felt so tired and worn out. …I think its time to get myself together now, don’t you agree?

I stood up, heading for the stairs, “Im gonna go get dressed.”
I heard footsteps following my as I entered the bathroom and took off my shirt. I felt two warm hands on my stomach and cold lips on my neck.
“I love you,” Gerard said.
He too undressed and we both got into the shower together. Standing underneath the blasts of warm water with him was just like old times. It made me feel all fuzzy inside as he held me close to his body.
“Never let me go.” I said, a single tear rolling down my cheek blended in with the water beads from the shower, falling on my face.
“I won’t babe, I swear, I love you more than life itself.” he replied wiping away the tear that was impossible to notice, unless you were called Gerard.
I felt that he really did love me, and he knew me better that I knew myself. He knew exactly what made me laugh and what made me cry. He knew what to say when I was feeling down and what to do when I was feeling… y’know.
“I cant believe we are only 17. I’m still in school and I have everything that I ever wanted. Two amazing children, the most incredible boyfriend in the world, and the best friends anybody could ever wish for. I’m gonna take you all out for a meal tonight.” I made up my mind, I was going to get my act together and do something special for them.
“You don’t have to…” Gerard begun.
“I do. I love you all so much. Everybody has been so good to me this past month, and I need to repay you and the guys. This is the best way I can think of, and so this is what I’m doing.” I said, stubbornly, “I am taking you out, end of.”

I felt like I was back to my normal self.
Wearing my black skinnies, and my iron maiden shirt, I left the house and got into the taxi with Frank, ready to pick up the rest of the guys.
First Gerard and Mikey got in, and then Jamia and Alicia. We were already squashed so we ended up calling another taxi to take Ray, Christa, Bob and his new girlfriend Jessica. He and Katlyn had broken up about a week after I found out that I was pregnant again, and ever since he had been looking for the right girl. I honestly think he’s finally found her.

We finally arrived at the restaurant that I had picked out. It was gorgeous, and the food smelled so good. This night is gonna cost me a fucking bomb, isn’t it?