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Funny satire stories about Salford

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...

Thieves in Salford, near Manchester, have been targeting cars for the past few weeks, with police seeing a spike in automotive thefts. The thieves seem to be very particular about which cars they target.
"They've being taking only Ford RS Turbos,"...

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, somewhat out of the loop recently, today caught up on the news of escalating violence across the UK, when he finished work. An amazed Shuttlecock, having recently resumed the joys of cycling, (Not that that's relevant)...

It has emerged that the ghost of Roy Castle has been haunting BBC Television Centre in London's White City since his death from lung cancer in 1994.
Former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq recalls how she was regularly disturbed by the parping of a...

As the BBC "ooooopppp North" relocate from the centre of Manchester to Peel Holdings Place, otherwise known as Media City in Salford, the higher-paid executives earning more than the Prime Minister, so derided by the licence fee-payers for not appear...

Diminutive former cabinet minister and MP for Salford, Hazel Blears, got slightly more than she bargained for when she went out and about in Salford, Greater Manchester, to woo the voters.
Showing the electorate that she was 'one of the people' pl...

Hazel Blears survived a vote of no-confidence last night, and will remain as MP for Salford.
Initially, the people of Salford were upset at Blears, who has repaid the thirteen thousand pounds she fiddled out of the expenses system in Whitehall. Ho...

Ecstasy turned to agony for Salford man Mickey Finn in the early hours of this morning. Finn,38 had been up all night celebrating Manchester United's 3-1 triumph at the Emirates last night and looking forward to a trip to Rome for the CL Final.
Mr...

Dwayne Piper has become the world's youngest rally champion aged just thirteen.
The youngster from Salford, near Manchester came first in the Welsh leg of the RAC Rally, a full ten seconds ahead of his nearest rival.
"It was immense," said Pipe...

Pirates have boarded and seized a boat in the dock harbour in Salford, Greater Manchester.
The three pirates, Jezza, MC Dipstick and The Buzzcoq, all from the uptown, downmarket Moss Side suburb of Manchester and heavily armed with knives, guns, t...

Ex East-Enders actor Ross 'The Real Deal' Kemp was reported missing today whilst filming Ross Kemp On Gangs in Salford.
A distraught production assistant who declined to be named for fear of reprisals said:
'We tried to warn Ross that this was...

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Trump Defects to Russia

Putin has him immediately thrown into the gulag.

NBC Offers to Renew 'The Apprentice' If Trump Will Resign As President

This was in response to a petition signed by practically everybody in the U.S. and most of Canada.

Trump Will Reply to Kim Jong Un As Soon As He Looks Up All the Words

...especially "dotard."

Trump Threatens to "Totally Destroy" Republican Party

President Donald Trump today expressed his disgust with the Republicans failure to pass any significant legislation. "I will totally destroy the Republican party if this continues."

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