First, his old coach, Bill Parcells and how he must feel about scenes like the one just before kickoff against the Steelers, when Fergie -- lovely though she may be -- was standing right there on the sideline with Tony Sparano, patting him on the shoulder, distracting the heck out of him and even introducing him to an older gentleman I took to be Fergie's father, Pat, a former high school football coach in California:

"They’ve added some celebrity, whatever, cache,"Johnson said of the Dolphins. "I’m not really into the people around the team that don’t know football, even owners."

And the Fergie-Sparano summit JUST BEFORE THE FREAKING KICKOFF???.............

UPDATE 3:24 P.M.: Cross Mike Zimmer off your list of potential defensive coordinators for the Dolphins. The tight-fisted Bengals, shockingly enough, have signed him to a three-year contract. Meanwhile, a person close to Romeo Crennel tells me the former Browns head coach is "giving Kansas City first shot" at hiring him as its next defensive coordinator, where he would be paired up with old friends Todd Haley, Charlie Weis and Scott Pioli. If those talks fall through, then perhaps the Dolphins can swoop in (if they haven't hired Al Groh by then). Crennel plans to coach the East squad in the Jan. 23 East-West Shrine Game in Orlando "regardless of his job status," the person close to him said, but that shouldn't be an issue this early in the offseason.