Thursday, November 24, 2016

I am thankful.

There is a lot that I can say I am thankful for. I have a wonderful husband and an amazing son who are the world to me. I have a great job that helps put a roof over our heads and food on the table. I have my health. I want for little and my cup overflows. But this Thanksgiving I get a chance to really understand what I am thankful for: Family.

I've never really had the best relationship with my family. I never really knew my mom [though recently we have tried reconnecting] and my dad worked a lot, leaving my grandparents to raise my brother and me. I was angry, confused, and a pain in the butt.

But I am thankful.

I am thankful that my grandparents raised me. I honestly do not know where I would be without them.

I am thankful that they are the head of our family. That we gather at their house for holidays. That I can turn to them if I need help or just someone to talk to.

My grandmother was recently diagnosed with cancer and my world stopped. I can think of a million things that I want to say about it but mostly it just straight up sucks. I can't image my world without her. I hate that I took her for granted so many years, thinking that she will always be here for me.

I have to stand strong on my faith and my God knowing that everything will work itself out. That this will not be the last holiday that I get to spend with her, listen to her stories, and just enjoy her presence. I am soaking up her knowledge, watching home movies, copying down her recipes, and just enjoying life.