Weather Report: Low 72, High 98. Cloudy and overcast, with sprinkles in the morning and hot drizzly rain in the afternoon.

Wildlife seen: None

Mood of the day: Exhausted and sick

OK, I'm done for now.

I've had the runs now for a good day and a half, and they've slowly gotten better. Last night I woke up six times to visit the loo, drinking a coffee mug of water after each visit to stay hydrated.

Ugh. I figure I probably just have heat exhaustion, but maybe also giardia? Who knows, they both have similar symptoms. Today has been just napping in the AC, which is fine, and wondering what I'm doing here. 80+ to Castella and I-5. 100+ miles to Etna. 100+ miles to Ashland. I couldn't even find the energy to walk 300 feet to Rite Aid until late this afternoon (for that concrete-maker drug), much less walk 20 miles, and it's already evening. I've got a headache, I'm dizzy, I've got chills now and then, I'm exhausted.

I've made the decision to bail and take a break, maybe stop short. It's not just about the amount of work ahead of me; it's also this feeling that I should rest at home and reevaluate things, that the trail isn't the place for me right now. Many of the last days have felt like trudges, slogs, particularly since leaving Belden, there's always the anxiety about making miles miles miles, hurrying through the heat. Looking at my schedule, I've set myself to be in Ashland on the 19th of July. Ashland is still 300 trail miles away, and even if I start back on the trail tomorrow that means 20 mile days every day for two weeks. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to two more months of 20 mile days in 90 degree heat. It's been real enjoyable hiking with Junior and Sage, but many of the days have been really tough.

I'm just not excited anymore about being here, and have been craving routine for several days now. So... hmmmm... while I'd love to go through the Trinity Alps and the Marble Mountains and the North Cascades, they'll still be there next year, and I'd love to do them with Chris too. A more relaxed pace would help a lot too.

Awhile back my brother offered to help me if I'm running into problems, so I called him up and he's offered to meet me up here in Burney and get me back. I'd usually take the bus and make my own way home, but the bus doesn't run on the weekends, and there are no more available motel rooms here in Burney for the 4th of July. I could camp, but I really do feel that I need a toilet nearby.

So my thoughts are that I'll go home and find some flight back to San Diego tomorrow (Redding? Sacramento??) and rest and sort things out. Maybe I'll do the Washington section later in August, maybe not, schedule myself for 18 mile days (plus half-days for more frequent town breaks; town stops always come at awkward points during a hike, like after a short four or ten mile day, I didn't plan for that).