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7 Things Over-thinkers Do

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Sometimes I think I frustrate my friends when we’re out and trying to decide what to do. We’ll be trying to decide what to do or where to go, and when they ask me what I’d like to do, I tend to respond with an indifferent ‘I’m easy’ or ‘Wherever’ answer.

It’s because I’m an extremely indecisive person in most aspects of my life, and it can become frustrating. Not just for my friends, but for myself as well as I tend to over-think decisions in my day-to-day life so much that I’m surprised I haven’t given myself repeated panic attacks.

And when you’re an over-thinker, you tend to get panicky that you’ve made the wrong decision which sometimes causes the decision you did make to not go exactly to plan.. even if it was the right decision in the first place.

Or you become so wrapped up in making the right decision that you make no decision at all, and end up over-analysing whether you should have made the decision in the first place.

Here’s a little list of what over-thinkers go through based on an article I found on Huffington Post (click the link at the bottom to see the original).

1. There’s no 100% perfectly right choice.

Like most over-thinkers, I tend to consider all the other options and what-if scenarios, even once I’ve already weighed all the options and potentially made a well-thought out decision. Instead of being satisfied with my choice and having some peace of mind, I continue to analyse what could have happened if another choice had been made.

2. Relationships are a mind-field.

Being an over-thinker could explain a bit why I’m still single after all these years. Without realising I’m doing it, I’ll over-analyse what people are messaging to determine what they’re actually thinking or saying, reading into what’s being said instead of taking things at face value.

I also sometimes (ok, a lot) over-analyse conversations to determine if I’ve said the right thing, or if they’ve taken what I’ve said the wrong way. It’s frustrating to continually be wondering if that last message meant things are ok or that the other person is mad at you, even if there’s been nothing that could have caused you to think that way.

3. We push people away due to uncertainty.

I think some of us do this without realising we’re doing it as a defense mechanism. It’s all about retaining some sort of control over how things are going to end, be it a friendship, relationship, or even just some online flirtation.This means the other person doesn’t get a chance to hurt you, but you hurt yourself instead by ending things even if things weren’t going that way to begin with.

4. Everything is jumbled together.

I do this all too often when something in my life isn’t going well or I’m having trouble of some sort (like not getting asked out on dates, or being unhappy with where I am professionally). I’ll start off by trying to figure things out about that one part of my life that I’m not happy about, and it’ll end up spilling over in my head. I end up jumbling things together, letting those negative feelings affect all parts of my life. I try to compartmentalize, but it never works out that way.

5. We don’t live in the moment.

Sometimes it would be nice to just live in the moment, and take things as they come. Unfortunately over-thinkers are unable to do this, as when they start thinking about how one moment may pan out, their brain leads them down the path as they think about how it’ll affect things down the road worrying about how it’ll affect things years from now. Spontaneity is not in an over-thinker’s bailiwick.

I do this way too often when I met someone new or cute. Instead of enjoying things as they happen, I’ll start thinking about the future and where things might go down the road… relationship, living together, planning a life together. Even when all we’ve done is had a nice little chat online. Could explain why I’m still single, I’m probably scaring the guys away without meaning to.

6. Buyer’s remorse.

This is the worst. When looking to buy some new gadget, clothes, or any other sort of purchase (even sometimes something as simple as ordering a takeaway), I will spend a ton of time researching different options and change my mind several times. And then once the purchase has been made, I’ll start having buyer’s remorse imagining how much better that other option would have been than the one that’s sitting in front of me. Even if it’s exactly what I need.

7. We hold back from truly enjoying ourselves.

I do this all too often. I’ll be out, having a laugh with a friend, enjoying the music or having a dance, and I’ll think about how much more fun it would be if only a specific person could have joined us, or how amazing it would be to share the experience with someone special like a boyfriend.

Or I’ll be out by myself (since I do spend a lot of time alone..) and see a group of friends enjoying themselves,and all I’ll think about is how I wish I had a group of friends like that to spend my free time with.

As over-thinkers, it isn’t about being unhappy with what we’re doing, where we are, or who we’re with, but is more about wishing we could make it even more enjoyable. To somehow make the day or event even more enjoyable by adding other people or alternatives to the mix, even when you should be having the time of your life.

But no matter what decisions we make or the struggles we go through, us over-thinkers do make it through to the other side and hold our lives together (sometimes lol). Over-thinkers may think things through too much, but a lot of the time it saves us from making truly unfavourable decisions that could lead to something worse.

Now if only if I could get my head to shut the hell up so I could just go out and enjoy myself already. 😉

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8 thoughts on “7 Things Over-thinkers Do”

Hi. What a thinking post to get me thinking. I do overthink lots, however I have learnt to push send on emails and not overthink a reply. Sounds simply, however it’s taking me a good couple of sessions with my therapist to get to that point. William overthinks EVERYTHING. to the point that unless he can see something he does not believe it’s real. Like when we went to New York, a couple of months back. I booked without thinking the whole trip thru. I don’t get buyers remorse. William only comprehended we were going when we got on the plane. However we planned nothing and lived in the moment so this was one holiday we both loved. It was no easy as William needs to have an idea of some sort and I always MUST have a plan. Maybe we both control freaks and overthink the worse. Great post. Ivan

Funny enough when I go on holiday to some new city, I generally only plan the travel and hotel.. and perhaps check out where some things are (gay bars, beach, etc). Generally I just grab a map and start wandering around the city to see where it takes me.

Thanks as always for stopping by and commenting. Always love hearing your point of view on things. xx

Well, I used to be like that. But someone said to me I do that because I am nice and considerate person. However through the years I have learned to decide something and if the others agree I warn them they might not like it in order to protect my self from their mouths…lol. I also learned instead of over thinking to let other decide for me (Ex. where to eat, when I know exactly what I want) just to surprise me, and then I say I am easy wherever.
As for number 3 it was so me. I over think what might happen. But again I taught my self this method by asking my self “What the worse could happen?” Then, the way I think start to ease down and go on and take my chance.
Finally when I was a kid when I worry a lot about something my Mum would say to me you will be fine. And when I don’t worry or seem relaxed about something my Mum would start to worry. She knows if I over think I will at least have tried if I made it wrong. I think over thinking states that the person is considerate. Just me saying…. xxx Yasser

Over-thinking is something I’ve been trying to get past for many many years, and if anything, I think it gets worse when I’m not in a good place in my life, as I over-analyse everything. LOL I do try to keep a positive outlook when I can (or at least fake it in public hahaha), but isn’t always easy when things happen to bring me down. I wish I was one of those who could just let things roll off their back and not give it a second thought.. Maybe one day I’ll get there. Thanks for taking the time to comment, really appreciate it xx