Copyrighted
Karen Blayne 2002. All copies must be of the complete document.

Be warned these short
stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if
you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not
suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or
two.

They were sort of
scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money
for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no
one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by
the author. Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if
you’re not.

Luv Karen

Well I'd arrived. I'd
finally made it. I'd wanted to do music but there were too many other students
who were after the courses so I had to settle for second best, maths. Even
then if my Aunt Phyllis hadn't rung up to say she'd found a University with a
spare place in statistics because some foreign student had dropped out when
their government was overthrown I wouldn't be here now. I'd found this like
really cheap flight on the internet, it sort of like started at 2:30 p.m. and
had like only three changes before like dropping me off at the airport at 6:20
am.

I even had time to catch a
bus into town. I'd gone to the lodging office first to see what I could find.
I was first in the queue when they opened there must have been a hundred other
students behind me when they opened the doors at 9 am. I was hoping for a
place in Hall but can you believe it nothing was available. I mean to say it
wasn't as if they didn't know lots of students would want rooms. All there
were two apartments at rents I couldn't even begin to afford. Then the phone
rang in the office. The lady helping me answered it turned to her computer
screen and then covered the mouthpiece “Do you like cats?” I nodded. “She'll
be there within thirty minutes.” I would? “I'm not supposed to give you this
without having someone inspect it first but it sounds alright and the gentleman
concerned has given the University one or two donations in the past. Here you
are here's a map showing you the house. It's a nice district, it's a sort of
bed and board in exchange for looking after a cat but can you get there in the
next twenty minutes? I suggest taking a cab.”

I took a cab. “Hello are you
the young lady from the University?” I nodded, young lady well I was young and
the right sex at least. He was old, and dressed in a white shirt, tie and
suit, weird, God he must have been 28 at least. He stepped out of the front
door and signaled for the cab to wait. “Got any identity?” I showed my letter
of offer. “Right just look at the camera. Good, now to get into the house you
just look at the camera outside and press the doorbell. I'll see you at the
weekend.” And that was it. He took my cab and off he went, weird. Oh well if
it worked I wouldn't have to worry about losing my key. I carried my bags into
the hall and looked round. The house looked a bit grand compared with what I
was used to but what the heck I could get used to it. I walked into the
kitchen and there sitting in a patch of sunlight, clicking quietly staring out
the window at the birds feeding in the garden was the cat. It stared up at me.
I stared right back at it. I checked out the rest of the house, it seemed to
be just one person living there judging by the clothes and the unmade bed. Spooky,
I wasn't sure about living in an empty house all by myself. I made myself a
cup of coffee then returned to the University. I joined the queue to pay my
fees.

God why hadn't all these guys
paid the day before term? They just had no idea. The queue went round every
building in the place. I stood in line. God I was like really tired. We
shuffled up. I closed my eyes and started having one of those dreams. The
person behind me moved closed and I heard movement in front. I shuffled up
again. I dreamt someone was fondling my butt, just running their hand lightly
over it. It felt kinda cool. The hand pushed me forward; time to shuffle
forward again was it? I was getting in the mood for something when the person
behind moved their hand to my tummy and started nibbling my ear. God I just
melt when someone does that. It's unreal, like I just have no control over my
body. I kept my eyes closed and the dream continued. I leant back and rested
against the body behind me. We shuffled forward again then stopped. Then we
shuffled forward again, almost like a long slow dance but it's your butt that's
doing the rubbing. “Come on slut, wake up it's time to pay.” A female voice,
OhMyGod, I turned to say something and was met with a kiss. My body was just
so aroused, the kiss deepened. “If you've quite finished, some of us are
trying to collect fees here.” I went beet red. I put my hand in my bag and
pulled out my certified cheque and the letter of offer. Afterwards my new
friend? took my hand and led me across to the cafeteria. “Look I'm not a
lesbian.” “Have you tried it?” “No.” “Don't knock it till you've tried it. Besides
you know I know how to turn your body on.” What could I say? I just went beet
red again. “Good that's settled. I'm Sheila by the way.” “I'm Tracy.” “Right
let's go see what Fresher's week has to offer.”

We hit Fresher's week with a
vengeance. It about midnight that Sheila looked at me and said “I think it's
time I found my minivan and went to bed.” “You're not going to sleep in a car
overnight are you?” “No other choice my pet. The lodgings office had nothing
when I went yesterday so it's curl up on a fully reclined seat again for me
tonight.” “You could come back to my place, certainly until Saturday morning.” “Now
that's the best offer I've heard all day.” Sheila drove me home which was kind
of fortunate because when I looked at the bus timetable the last bus was 11:45
p.m. Her minivan was kind of really cute. It was one of the really old first
ones that had been hand painted a bright purple colour with yellow daisies on
it. “Like it?” “Wow.” “Wait to you see inside.” Inside the seats had been
recovered in pink, and the carpets replaced with a deep royal blue. It was
definitely one of a kind.

Sheila pulled up on the drive
and a light came on over the garage and the front door. Up the street some guy
was sat waiting in his car. His wife must have locked him out or something. Anyway
we stumbled in and grabbed like the double bed in the main bedroom. Well why
not only one set of sheets to wash and went to sleep. Can you believe it but
at 4 am the cat jumps up on top of me and starts to meow. Eventually I got up
and made a cup of tea. There was some cat food in the fridge so I fed it a
little and it seemed to stop the meows. Honestly 4 a.m. and it wants food. Why
can't it eat at normal times like everyone else?

Later we were lying in bed
when Sheila turned to me “Hey I've got this really great idea. Do you want to
break up this bikini contest they have as part of Fresher's week?” “Break it up
what you mean?” “Well it's sexist, can't allow that. We'll just show up in two
outrageous bikinis and win the contest. But we'll just do a kiss on stage so
the football guys who go to these things will know we aren't interested. Sort
of power thing, blow their minds.” “It'll cause a riot more like than not.” “So,
it'll be a show of girl power.” I wasn't so sure but Sheila talked me into it.
Then she talked me out of my respectable bikini into something quite different.
“My cousin in Byron Bay Aussie land sent me a few for my birthday last year. They're
called Wicked Weasels and they are wicked and I mean Wicked.” “Doesn't sound
quite my style.” She buried her head between my legs then waited until I was
almost there. She put her head up. “Dare you to do it?” “No.” She breathed
across my clit. “Oh God Sheila finish me off” I begged, “Are we entering the
contest.” “No.” My voice didn't sound so convincing; “Please” she breathed
across my clit again. “Ok we'll enter now for god's sake finish me off.” She
did. I did. When we went downstairs there was a brown lump in the bottom of
the bread-maker. I never was any good at cooking. Oh and the cat was meowing
again. I wondered if all it did was eat.

We tried on the bikinis. There
was skimpy, skimpier, OhMyGod, and are you sure this is supposed not to
disappear between my pussy lips? The last was OK on Sheila but I needed
something wider than one and a half inches if I was to be able to walk. The
skimpier wasn't too bad if I completely shaved myself first. Having said that
it had a centre seam that pushed itself between my lips and held them separated.
It was so tight that the centre seam rubbed against my clit as well. That was
only when I pulled it up. It was sort of V cut in the front with the bottom of
the V a tiny millimeter above my clit. “I can't wear this.” “No one will
notice from the hall they'll be miles away. Trust me it'll be fine.” I looked
in a mirror at the back. Three strings joined together in a tiny circle. I
put the top on. Well it covered the essentials as long as you didn't go
jogging and breathed very gently. A quarter inch narrower and I'd be totally
indecent with my nipples exposed. But I must confess the thin unlined material
did show off my nipples nicely. Not the sort of thing to show mummy. Sheila
thought the pale blue one looked good on me. She wore a white one even tinier
than mine made of a lace material. “God you look good woman.” I heard myself
say. “Shall we shave now?” “No I don't think so, a few wisps of pubic hair
should arouse them nicely.” A few wisps, we were both dark in fact in the wrong
light you could almost see through the material. My pubic hair had been
trimmed back for my respectable bikini but the one I had on now was much
smaller. We picked up a couple of beach robes and put our jeans and tee shirts
on over the top and off we went to try our chances. Sheila brought an
insulated bag with her.

We joined the other girls and
put our makeup on, Sheila did mine much heavier than normal in a different
style to my usual one, and she did hers to match. Our bikinis were covered by
beach wraps. We both put on blond wigs. Sheila told the guy running the show
that I was shy and so could we go on last. The other girls trooped out one by
one onto the stage. Our bikinis were by far the tiniest. Then we were called.
Sheila thrust a water pistol on my robe's pocket from the insulated bag. It
felt really cold. “Ice water, great for warming things up.” Then we were on. All
I could see was lights. “Come on then opening time.” came the cry from the
front. Sheila and I both opened and dropped our robes at the same time. The
crowd went wild, hooting and hollering. Then Sheila pointed the water pistol
at my boobs and a stream of water hit them. I felt my nipples harden when the
ice cold water hit. I picked up my pistol and squirted Sheila. Her bikini
just seemed to melt away, within seconds it was totally transparent. “Way to
go.” Came the yell from the front of the hall. I looked down at my costume,
that had gone transparent as well. I wondered if anyone else was wearing an
unlined costume, some were, all screamed when the cold water hit. The crowd
was ecstatic. Beer cans flew high in the air. The compere was calling for
calm. In the middle of it all Sheila reached across and French kissed me in
the middle of the stage. The crowd roared even louder now. I felt her hands
bush my hips. She couldn't have? The bows tying my bottom together at the
sides were undone and she flung my thong it into the crowd. Wolf whistles, cat
calls, bodies throwing themselves on stage. Girls in skimpy bikinis screaming,
this was getting way out of hand.

I stood frozen, Sheila
grabbed my hand and we ran to the stage door at the back. Sheila picked up a
fire extinguisher and started to spray foam across the stage. Bikini clad
girls in high heels fell over. Guys who had stormed the stage fell on top. Sheila
threw the still gushing fire extinguisher across the stage and slammed the door
to. Then she grabbed a chair and jammed it under the handle. We ran to the
dressing room and I threw on my jeans. We stuffed the wigs in our bags. Sheila
kindly slid her hand in the front so the zip didn't catch in my pubic hairs, a
tee shirt over the top and we were away. We walked out of the building so as
not to draw attention to ourselves. We saw the lights flashing and sirens
wailing as reinforcements rushed to the scene.

“Hey you two.” “Who us
officer?” “Yes you two. You wouldn't have just come out of the students’ union
building would you? We're looking for the two blondes who started all this.”
Sheila pointed across the grass. “There's two blond girls over there. I think
they may need assistance.” Across the grass two bikini clad girls were being
carried off screaming on the shoulders of a dozen hefty footballers. “Oh God
two damsels in distress come on Joe hit the siren.” We were left in peace and
quietly caught the bus home.

“Won't they catch us?” “I
don't think so I gave the name of the V.C.'s secretary and that librarian who
fined me for being ten minutes late with a book I'd borrowed from the short
term collection.” “Oh well that's that then.”

Next day we looked in at a
lecture on the evils of drinking and sex. I never knew you could get AIDs from
drinking beer before. I made up my mind then and there to only drink wine and
spirits from henceforth. Lesbian sex wasn't as risky as heterosexual sex
unless you were a member of a church group in which case you would be damned
forever. Afterwards as we were coming out Sheila whispered “See I told you I
was better than a boy.” We collected our trays in the canteen but there were no
empty tables. I spotted one with a single girl so we headed that way. “May we
sit down?” “Yeah sure no one else wants to sit with me.” The girl didn't look
that bad to me for a start she had the sort of long dark hair I've give my eye
teeth for as long as I didn't have to wash and dry it. She was a bit odd no
makeup, had glasses on and was wearing a pleated knee length skirt. I mean who
wears such clothes these days? Quite pretty though, dowdy but pretty if you
know what I mean. “I'm sorry where were my manners? I'm Glynda by the way I
just seem a bit of a misfit here.” “I'm Tracy and this is Sheila we're kinda of
misfits as well. Sheila is into women's lib sort of stuff.” Glynda looked at
us. “I thought I recognized you. The two blondes who wrecked the bikini
contest.” I looked round to see if anyone had heard. “Don't worry I won't give
you away. I saw you walking away from the student's union yesterday when everyone
else was running towards it. Besides from what I heard there was a very real
French kiss involved and you two look like it would be a real French kiss. Where
did you get the bikinis? Someone said they were really wicked.” Sheila spoke “My
Aussy cousin sent them over.” “Could I see them? From the tales I've heard they
were quite something. Oh did you see the paper this morning? Apparently they
think the V.C.'s secretary and a librarian were involved.” Sheila and I both
burst out giggling. “Anyway the bikini contest has been cancelled from
Fresher's week next year which I assume was your object.”

We had lunch and Glynda came
back with us to the house to check out the bikinis. “My God you actually wore
these to the contest?” She pooled her skirt at her feet as she started to
undress to try one on. She was so old fashioned she actually was wearing
stockings. “Stockings?” “Well yes, I have to keep my pussy cool otherwise it
gets red and irritated. Besides I like to wear something glamorous underneath
my knee length skirts.” “OK.” I put one of the light coloured bikini thongs
under the tap so she could see just how transparent they went when wet. “I
could never have gone on stage in public in these.” Tawny the cat wandered over
and rubbed up against her leg. She bent down to pick her up and cradled her in
her arms. “Hey I like your place here, it's really neat. Have you listened to
all those Trumpet Concertos?” “Trumpet Concertos? Is that what they are. They're
the landlords. Tracy here is the official lodger but I'm keeping her company
until the weekend when the wicked landlord returns. We've got some really
solid Heavy Metal somewhere if you'd like to listen to some good music.” “Not
really I actually like classical. Like I said I'm a misfit at this University.
Love the kitchen though.” “Hey it's almost time for tea. What do you fancy
Pizza or Chinese takeout?” “ I could throw something together if you like.” We
liked. Somehow home cooked food has always been my favourite I've just never been
any good at cooking. Tawny liked it as well and licked the plates clean
afterwards.

We saw Glynda around campus
quite a bit after that. None of us were into the cheerleading thing or
watching the footballers. I even got talked into going to a concert with her.
It was only when we got there I realized it was a concert with an orchestra not
a pop group. Still as Sheila says you have to experience things to find out
about them. Talking about which Sheila pointed out since I wasn't paying any
rent we could spend some money on this really wicked outfit she'd found for me.
It was the kind of shop that was really sleazy in a really sleazy alley. Some
of the garments in there I wouldn't even know how to put them on. Anyway we
found this sort of Merry Widow black corset thing that was so obscene I mean it
had little strap things that Sheila said were for stockings it sort of half
covered my breasts but left my nipples surrounded by a ruffle of lace. I
wouldn't have brought it but Sheila said I really had to experience it. So we
brought it and of course seeing that we were new customers the guy behind the
counter gave us a free gift each. Can you believe it mine was a ball gag and
Sheila’s was some leather straps. Just as we were coming out I saw some really
cool panties; well I like the colour. It was only when I picked them up I saw
they were crotchless. Sheila paid for them and got given an eyeshade for her
free gift. I thought great next time I fly the red eye not realizing Sheila
had other plans.

So Friday we get back and
Sheila talks me into trying the Merry Widow thing on. She produced like some
black seamed stockings from somewhere and dressed me up. I felt so different;
I did a little dance in front of the stereo downstairs. Sheila thought it
needed a couple of finishing touches so she had me step into the crotchless
panties. God it felt totally indecent. Worse than not wearing any panties at
all. “Close your eyes and lie down, rest your head on this pillow.” I did. I
should have known better. First she used the leather straps to tie me up. Then
she used the eyeshades to cover my eyes. “I'm going to use you as a guinea pig
for my new project to control electronic devices based on feedback loops.” “Oh
yeah, what does that mean?” “You'll see or rather feel real soon.” she giggled.
The first thing I felt was helpless. The second was the ball gag. The third
was something taped next to my left breast. Then something was taped just
under my right nipple. She slipped a pad under the front of my panties and
positioned it over my clit. Then two more probes one up my bum and you'll just
have to guess where the other one went. “Now then let's just try a few keys.”
I felt a pulse as first one breast then the other was vibrated. Then the pad
started then the other two in turn. “Good those are all working, now for the
masterpiece.” She taped some other pads on me that felt as if they had wires
attached. “Good now let's just turn on.”

I felt the pad in my panties
twitch then start to hum soon I was really turned on. Then suddenly the pad
slowed down. “OhMyGod that looks as if it really works. Now then I'll just
start the program running you'll really enjoy this it's sort of designed to
bring you to just before the big O. If you think really wicked thoughts though
you might just get there. Bye I'm just going to go to the store. See you
soon.” “Wait you can't go you'll never get back in!” I tried to scream but
couldn't. “What was that poppet? You don't want me to leave you? That's
touching. Bye.”

Then followed I don't know
how long of alternating torture and bliss. Finally I heard the front door open.
Someone walked past me into the kitchen. “Sheila undo me.” I tried to say but
nothing really came out. I heard the doorbell ring. Oh God some religious
Witness and there's me on the floor looking like I don't know what. “Hi I'm
Sheila, Tracy invited me to stay for a day or two since she didn't like being
on her own. You must be Tracy's landlord.” OhMyGod I want to die. Don't look
this way whatever you do. Please God open up the floor anything but OhGod. “I'm
so glad you've arrived back because the front door only opens for Tracy when
she rings the bell and I don't think she could have answered the door.” It was
him, my landlord who had walked straight past me into the kitchen. Oh God I
really did want to die. I was so embarrassed. Please God I want to die right
now, anything to stop this nightmare.

“Tracy said you're interested
in looking at student ids? Here's mine or it will be when I find it in my bag.
I find Tracy a really interesting person don't you? Always open to new things.”
“Shut up!” I mouthed into my gag. Sheila how could you do this to me. “She's
all wired up as you can see at the moment. Not every girl would agree to that
now would they?” I'm going to kill her when I get free. “No I suppose not.” “I
really like her legs, I mean to say covered with black stockings don't they
just turn you on?” “Well I suppose they do.” Hey come on guy my legs are good
even if I do say so myself you should be wetting your pants just seeing me trussed
up like this. “You know my computer program is designed to bring her almost to
the point but not quite.” Oh yes I knew I definitely knew that now. “How
interesting.” “If I just take out this pad and the front vibrator from her
panties. There now it would be an act of kindness to just slip your finger
inside her.” “Do you think so? It wouldn't be an unwanted sexual advance from a
wicked landlord would it.” “For God’s sake stop talking and put something in
me, please. I hate this ball gag.” “I think she's trying to say something.”
The ball gag was removed from my mouth. “Please please please will someone do
something to get me off. I don't care if it’s a finger or what it is just do
something.” I heard myself say. “Your wish is my command.” I heard a masculine
voice say. More importantly I felt myself penetrated. “My you are damp aren't
you.” My big O arrived just as I felt his finger enter. “If you'd like to move
your finger out I'll show you just what she is really capable of.”

I didn't like the sound of
any of this. What was going on? The eyeshade still stopped me from seeing
anything. I felt a ribbon being pulled at my hip. My tie sided panties fell
away. A breath of warm air drifted over my clit. No not in front of my
landlord I thought. Her magic tongue began its wicked work. She stopped for a
moment. “If you look at the screen you can see her last big O look how long it
lasted. Now watch.” Os didn't last very long did they? Mine didn't. I felt
mine building up inside, then it hit. Ok I'm there. Ok. OK. It started
building again and then I was on a roll. “Interesting watching her reaction on
the computer. Is she really having one long orgasm?” I heard the words but
wasn't really taking anything in. Five minutes later I was finished and I mean
finished. “Marvelous performance. I don't think I've ever seen anything like
it. Are you staying with us by the way or have you somewhere else to live.” “Just
my van outside in the drive.” “Well I'm sure we can find you a bed somewhere. If
not Tracy probably won't mind sharing hers.” I woke up. What I still had a
room? I hadn't been thrown out on the street? “Was Tracy's outfit Tracy's idea
or yours?” “We brought it together but I thought Tracy would look really good
in it.” “You must take her shopping again, here's a little pocket money to take
with you. Where have you been sleeping in my double bed? Oh well there's room
in the second bedroom for a double so perhaps we'll pick one up tomorrow. I'll
sleep in the single tonight.”

I heard his footsteps retreat
into the kitchen then a hopeful voice “I don't suppose either of you know how
to cook?” “Sorry.” “Oh well the Lucky Windchime delivery service again I
suppose. Chinese for three?” “Chinese for three. I like sweet and sour by the
way.” Sheila took off my eyeshade and fanned a bunch of $50 notes in her hand.
“We're going shopping tomorrow my sweet. Poppet is going to get an outfit that
will really make his eyes pop out.” Then she kissed me.

A couple of weeks later
Sheila came up with this really great idea for midterm we could take the
minivan and go camping. Well we found a campsite not that far from a
McDonald's. No need to go to extremes you understand. What to do about Tawny?
We were sat in the union playing a game of bridge. “Glynda darling.” “Oh dear
I mistrust that tone of voice, I didn't trump your ace by mistake did I?” “No
you never do.” “Oh good that's alright then.” “Glynda what are you doing over
midterm?” “Well I can't afford to go home, no I'm not going camping with you, I
had sort of thought about curling up with my CD player.” “How about curling up
in front of a stereo system with all those trumpet concertos?” “Cat sitting you
mean?” “Well yes.” “And let me guess your landlord doesn't know you are
planning to go off, so he won't teach the door who I am, so I'll have to stay
indoors for the whole time?” “Yes, but he's due back Friday night or Saturday
and all you have to do is show him your student id and he'll be happy.” “Well
given its that or being stuck sharing an apartment playing raspberry to three
girls and their boyfriends, plus feeling guilty in case that Tawny isn't being
fed right I accept your kind invitation.” We took her back and installed her in
the house then set off in the minivan for our camping trip. Like Sheila said
our landlord needed someone there to look after Tawny and we won't have to
worry about Glynda going all glam at our landlord and displacing us. I mean to
say he just seemed to treat me as eye fodder. No fondling of my breasts or
anything. Kinda weird considering the displays Sheila and I were putting on
for him in my new clothes that Sheila had picked out for me and her. Nothing
totally indecent you understand just not the sort of length of skirt you'd wear
to the union bar if the football club was there, or the sort of clothes to wear
if your grandfather had a weak heart and certainly not the clothes you'd wear
on a cold or windy day in public.

Glynda drifted round the
house mentally rearranging furniture, changing curtains, and just enjoying
being away from her shared apartment where her room had been designed as a walk
in closet with no windows. She looked out of the window at the birds
twittering in the trees and on the bird feeder. She felt content with the
world and at home. She looked round the kitchen and decided on something
simple for tea, baked potato. She popped in two just in case then took herself
off to sit on the sofa and listen to the first of the Trumpet Concertos CD with
a cup of tea. She'd taken her glasses off and closed her eyes with Tawny
curled up on her lap when she heard footsteps at the front door. She lifted
Tawny off her lap and stood up turning towards the door. The door opened and in
walked our landlord. She stepped forward to greet him “Hi I'm Glynda Stewart,
Tracy's cat sitter for the week. You must be her landlord.”

As she grew closer he came
more into focus. He looked so weary on an impulse she gave him a hug and a
kiss on the cheek. “Here's my student id, Tracy and Sheila have gone off
camping for midterm so asked me to cat sit whilst they were away if that's OK
with you?” “Miss Stewart for a coffee anything's alright with me.” He set his
bag down in the hall. She turned and fumbled for her glasses before making her
way to the kitchen. Returning moments later with a mug of steaming coffee. She
curtsied “Shaken not stirred sir.” He drank the coffee in three gulps. “That's
better.” “Tracy mentioned she didn't think you'd be back until tomorrow.” “Well
I wasn't but then I struck lucky a flight was delayed by two hours.” “Let me
guess it was the one before you had planned to catch so you managed to catch
it.” “Oh you've flown as well I see.” “Just once or twice, Tawny and I were
planning to have baked potatoes with corn beef and mushy peas. There's enough
for three if you care to join us. Could you open the wine? I found a bottle of
red that had an interesting looking label in the cupboard. Should I call you
landlord by the way or do you prefer something else?” “Oh I answer to Oh
handsome one, my lord, or even Richard if you'd care to call me that. I think
Tracy uses Oh landlord which gets a bit wearing after a time.” “Well if I'm to
call you Richard then you must call me Glynda.” “Glynda and Richard it is then.
May I offer my arm for the three steps into the dining room?” “Alas sir I fear
not. It's the kitchen maid's night off so I must do double duty and go to the
kitchen first before we eat.”

“Here we are baked potato à
la Glynda.” Glynda carried a tray with three plates, two large with a large
baked potato covered with grated cheese, a chunk of corn beef on one and slices
on the other, with mushy peas by the side and one smaller one that had a slice
of corn beef with grated cheese on top especially for Tawny. “Hey this is
good.” “What else did you expect?” “I never really know these days. I suppose
I thought I was getting one student to look after Tawny when I was away but I
seem to have three these days. You don't think she's going to bring any more
back do you?” “No I don't think so and I'm only here for the week they are
away.” “No chance you'd like to stay?” “Well how much rent would it cost me?” “The
occasional home cooked meal?” He asked hopefully. “We'll see.”

They finished their meal and
Glynda made coffee. “I was looking through your book shelves and I noticed
some Dr. Who DVDs do you mind if I put one on?” “The English sci-fi panto? But
that's really low budget children's television.” “I know but fun though. Want
to watch it with me in case I get scared? I used to watch it crouched behind
the settee in case the monsters got me when I was young.” “But you're much
older now so know that the monsters can't reach out and grab you.” “Perhaps.”
They settled down to watch the first DVD.

“I'm not sure about that one.
Looks like a giant squid.” She said “Have you seen at the tentacles on it?” She
moved a bit closer to him and he put his arm around her to reassure her. “Nonsense
K9 will save the Doctor.” “Oh his funny little mechanical dog. I like K9. You
know it is panto really when you look at it I hadn't thought of it that way
before.” She buried her head in his shoulder when the scary bits arrived and
they laughed together at the corny jokes. Richard went off and came back with
the rest of the bottle of red wine, which they sat and drank together slowly. Then
it was time for bed. She'd made the bed up in the spare room. As she got
undressed and dressed in her simple cotton nightdress she thought about the evening.
She'd rather enjoyed the experience of being snuggled up to him she realized. Based
on what Tracy had told her she'd always pictured Tracy's landlord as being an
elderly authoritative man not the charming gentleman who had appreciated both
her looks and her simple cooking this evening. She looked at the cold sheets.
A good girl wouldn't go sneaking into her landlord's bed and say she was
frightened after seeing the scary monsters now would she? Was she a good girl?
Well she wouldn't be if she did and Sheila always said you had to experience
things to know if they were any good or not.

She tiptoed onto the landing.
The light in the master bedroom went out. She slid through the open door and
slid into bed besides him. “Hello what are you doing here?” “Hiding in case
the monster comes to get me.” “Come and put your head on my shoulder. Feel
safer now?” She did she nodded, closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

Next morning she felt her
pillow move. Odd pillows don't usually move she thought. She peeped, opened
her eyes and then remembered. “Oh you poor man. I haven't been asleep on your
shoulder all night have I? Let me give it a gentle rub for you to get the
circulation back. Is that better? Did you sleep well?” “Yes thank you I slept
very well. I think you'd better stop rubbing my neck and shoulder, I'm not a
complete saint you know.” “Oh I am glad. You mean if I just run my hand over
your testicles like this you won't be able to ignore me?” “Glynda.” “But all
I'm doing is just rubbing my leg up between yours.” “Glynda!” “Your back or
mine?” “Wretch!” “Best keep your back flat on the bed then you old folk have to
look after your backs.” She lowered herself onto him and then leaned forward
hugging him tight. Afterwards she raised herself on her elbow. “You know my
week here would be much nicer with someone like you to share it with me. When
did you last have a holiday?”

Thank God we were back. Too
much fresh air I'd decided was a bad thing. No phone, no tele, no central
heating, no air conditioning, heating tinned stew up over a small gas stove
sucked as far as I was concerned. Who would have thought that there weren't
any Pizza or Chinese delivery services in the country? Or that McDonald’s would
run out of chicken burgers? Home at last. I opened the front door and Sheila
and I walked in. There was a girl who looked like she owned the place dressed
in a flimsy sheer black nylon baby doll who was carrying two mugs of coffee
towards the stairs. “Hi guys have a good trip?” “Glynda, is that you? I didn't
recognize you at first.” “It's probably seeing me with my hair down and the
contact lenses, let me take Richard his coffee then I'll come down and you can
tell me how you got on camping.” Glynda dressed like that with a guy upstairs,
oh well as long as our landlord didn't find out we were probably OK. I
wondered where she'd met her Richard.

Glynda glanced out of the
window, there seemed to be more cars and vans on the street than she remember
seeing normally and did telephone repairmen start work at this hour of the
morning? Oh well Richard was due back in a few minutes after catching the red
eye. She got dressed in jeans and tee shirt made a pot of coffee and took two
mugs into Sheila and Rebecca. She didn't bother speaking to them they never
seemed very chatty first thing in the morning. Then she went down and sorted
out some breakfast for Tawny and herself. She thought Tawny agreed with her of
the importance of breakfast to start the day off right. She gathered up her
backpack and called to the others upstairs “Seven minutes to the bus guys.” She
heard the front door opening and her Richard came in looking sleepy, so she
gave him a hug and a kiss. “Hi darling pass me your bag and grab some coffee
there still some in the pot in the kitchen.” She thought it was time he gave up
all this travelling he did, she was sure it wasn't good for him, perhaps she'd
talk to him about it in the evening.

I hate mornings; I'm really
not a morning person. Sheila isn't really either. We sort of stay in bed
until the last second then dash downstairs for the bus. Sheila’s worked out
how to lay our clothes and back packs out the night before so we can be up and
out in like 2 minutes. I do my hair and put on a bit of makeup on the bus. Sheila
can't understand why, she likes me just as I am but I just feel more confident
with it on I suppose. Glynda gave us a call upstairs so it was time to move, like
usually we get to the bus stop about three minutes before its due, takes me
three minutes to find the fare usually. We dashed downstairs with our bags and
out the front door, I heard Glynda following us downstairs. As we left the
house a plain-clothes policeman stepped out of an unmarked van showed us a
warrant card and stopped us. “Excuse me Miss but what have you got in the
bags?” “Sorry?” Could you open your bags for me Miss?” I unzipped my backpack
and showed my tidy pile of books. Sheila’s jaw had dropped open when we got
stopped. “Are you for real?” “Just let me see what you’re carrying please.”
Sheila unzipped her bag and showed him the contents. Sheila’s bag is unreal
she just throws things in. The policeman took nearly two minutes sorting
through her bag. “Now yours if you please Miss.” Glynda battered eyelashes at
him. “You don't really want to look through my dirty underwear do you?” She
unzipped the top and there was a pile of dirty silk underwear. “I feel so
embarrassed I'm taking them to the dry cleaners. If I'd known I was going to
be stopped I'd have put in clean ones. Here have a pair to examine looks like
there's a bit of talcum powder on the crotch.” The policeman took the proffered
garment and held it closer to his face to examine it more closely.

I couldn't resist; I sneaked
out my camera and took a photograph of him with his nose nearly touching the
dirty silk panties. Then the bus came. “Sorry guys we got to fly else we'll
be late for out lectures.” “You can keep the panties to remember me by.” We
picked up our bags and dashed for the bus. “Wait I haven't finished looking.”
He called out. Glynda turned back “Come back tomorrow and we'll do it again
this time we'll allow more time before the bus. By the way my phone number's
written on the washing instructions label.” Weird I mean who'd ever heard of
being stopped on the street on the way to school? When we've had a bit to
drink in the evening that's one thing but not first thing in the morning. Even
weirder as the bus passed the house we saw policemen everywhere round the back
and they were carrying some sort of medieval battering ram to the front door.

Glynda hadn't got her notepad
with her so I gave her a couple of sheets out of mine and a book to write on. Odd
because normally she's so organized it’s unbelievable and at lunchtime she
wandered off saying she had an errand to run. When we got back that night our
landlord was waiting. “You wouldn't have any idea how my flight bag came to be
full of dirty washing would you?” I shook my head, Sheila did as well. Glynda
replied “Oh did I put my washing in the wrong place?” “What happened to the
contents?” “Oh the pile of $50 bills, well I thought they'd be safer in a
safety deposit box at the bank, I've got the key here somewhere. They were so
helpful when I said I had a few things to remember my grandmother by but didn't
have anywhere safe to store them. They even gave me a student discount. I
didn't do anything wrong did I? How did you get on with the police this morning
by the way?” “Well I think they arrived looking for a bag full of money. I was
as shocked as they were when they didn't find any.” “I thought they might be, I
never really trusted policemen so I thought it would be safer in the bank.” “How
did you know they were coming?” “Oh I worked in the licensing department last
year. All municipal vehicles and police cars are given one of a consecutive
range of numbers to help simplify the life of their administration. So know
one and you practically know them all. Anyway to come back to more practical
matters let's discuss your retirement.” “My retirement?” “Well yes, if you
agree to retire you get the key if not I suppose I could pop into the police
station with some lost property. Now if you're sensible and marry the most
important witness and retire I'm sure we'll all live happily ever after.”