NO ONE CARES. Seriously, no one care what camera angles he used or what movie best displays the use of the wide angle lens, or how foreign film distributors choose what day to release a film vs the US distributors and we especially don’t care for Chris’s take on Rob’s body parts (though they are lovely). You are ALL 2nd hand embarrassing to read and make the rest of us look like losers with hormonal issues who get off on tweeting semi naughty things to a guy who worked with a guy you like. It’s like asking your barista at Starbucks if your crush has ever creamed their coffee… hur hur hur… see what I did there? Yea, it was gross and that’s how some of you make us all look!

Srsly! How cute is this kid??

Don’t get me wrong, it’s BEYOND awesome that Chris tweets regularly and responds to his followers at all! It’s super cool and we love it and whatever but all I’m saying it stop with the facade of really caring about camera lenses, we know you just want to ask about Robsten. So check yo’self before you wreck yo’self. Annndddd if you feel the need to tweet him here’s a list of approved topics I’ve come up with:

Things we care about Chris Weitz tweeting about:

Taylor Lautner bits

Jokes about his mustard pants

Cute stuff about his freaking adorable son

Things tweeted in spanish (caliente!)

Restaurant recommendations

Twitpics of him at the pool

What he’s listening to

Stuff about his movies he’s working on

Twitpics of the mustard pants

Twitpics of his freaking adorable son with the mustard pants near Chris in a pool

Secret meet up locations

Whether Big Daddy was a diva on the New Moon set like he ALLEGEDLY is now

The juxtaposition between his jewish last name and christian first name (srsly, I wonder these things)

Why he’s so awesome

Whether him, Cathi Hardi, David Slade and Bill Condon meet up regularly at Cathi’s favorite Friday’s for drinks and reminisce about the old days, share war stories and who has the best black mail tape of Robsten.

Every day he's tweetin'!

Tonight (last night as it were) I will be at the LA Film Fest seeing Mamitas while Chris is in a nearby theater presenting the World Premiere (oh la la!) of A Better Life… I will be enjoying Mamitas but I will be secretly longing to see your new film FIRST… and hoping that my pal who IS seeing A Better Life will get us all the TLaut and KStew gossip as they will ALLEGEDY, MAYBE be there to represent and support you. HOW great is that?! All these people love Chris! Anyway, I’m hoping Taylor brings Big Daddy and I can see the Diva from afar.

Instead of tweeting why don’t we all go see A Better Life?

Themoonisdown

Is it crazy we’re still burning a candle for this guy? NO!!! Also who wants to see A Better Life? Anyone been hitting up the awesome LA Film Fest over the past week?? No Eclipse this year but there are tons of amazing films, if you’re in LA go go go! Vamos!