“Being a big guy certainly has its advantages… and its disadvantages.” The disadvantage of having to get an extension tool to wipe your ass, however, outweighs the small advantage of sweating for no reason.

Also of note:

-Who scrunches?

-How is this sanitary when you have to put new paper on this device that’s been inaccurately prodding around your ass?

-Anyone wanna wager that the paper falls off half the time and these people end up with a plastic stick poking their butts?

-And what the hell was this toilet paper related breakthrough that went down in the 1880s?

I’m hear to let you know that (with the help of some friends), I’ve located the current most horrible thing on the internet. And here it is….

Wait! No, that’s not the most horrible thing on the internet. Most horrible thing in a toy store? Sure. Internet? Not a chance. Let’s keep going…

Damn, that is a creepy tree, but really not that horrible considering it hasn’t yet tried to steal your eternal soul. Let’s move on…

Nom! That is horrible for that poor cat, but I’m gonna bet that dog gets its face clawed up moments later. Next…

Babies are far more durable than you’d think. Verdict: Not that horrible. Let’s keep going…

Holy crap! This horrible thing is starting to get serious, folks. If you’re already apprehensive, you may want to consider other websites. If you’re still with me, let’s keep going…

Hmmm…. Next!

For the love of all that is holy! Remember when you used to think owls were cute and wise? Now you will have nightmares about them. Just a few more left until the most horrible thing on the internet…

Horrible and horribly sad. Moving on…

We are beyond the point of no return. I’ve disabled your browser’s back button at this point. Full scroll ahead!

While Yahoo! Answers is always pretty horrible, that one seemed just a little extra horrible. There are only two left…

Wow. And yet still, as horrible as that above image is, it still isn’t the most horrible thing on the internet. Now before scrolling down for the last image, I’m warning you… if you laugh, you’re pretty much the worse person in existence… along with everyone else that laughed. Enjoy…

Funny or Die has been pretty on top of their game lately. Here is their new horror trailer for Gobstopper. Sidenote: I once took a sketch writing class from the writer/director of this. He gave me constructive feedback that I was the low point of his career thus far.