I dreamt that I was graduating High School but I had nobody there with me. No family or friends. And since I had nobody, I was given odd jobs to help clean and take food out to guests.

It wasn’t a regular graduation, but a banquet accompanied by a show. I kept falling down but strangers kept helping me up and I ended up sitting at a table with celebrities because there was no place else for me to sit.

I met new people, but wondered where all my old friends were.

Anyway, I drank a six pack of beer the night before and I didn’t get home until 3AM. I drove home which I shouldn’t have done.

On my way home I stopped by my business to make sure my esthetician had enough towels for her facials the next day and as I was unlocking the front door, a cop pulled up. Like he’d been following me the entire time.

I freaked out and ran inside the building with my heart pumping. I barely ate and it was the second day of my period – I was way past the legal limit.

I was so drunk that I stabbed myself with an insulin needle, not once, but twice. The girl I went to visit was diabetic and I asked her if she wanted me to administer her nightly shot.

Me – “Is it like pulp fiction? Do I have to jam it in really fast? This needle is HUGE! It’s like a pulp fiction needle.”

Her – “It doesn’t hurt at all, just do it.”

Me – “It looks like it would puncture your organs.”

Her – “It’s not that big, here..”

She grabbed my hand and guided the needle into her belly.

Me – “I don’t believe it doesn’t hurt.”

Her – “You want to try? I have a bunch of needles.”

Me – “Of course I want to try.”

She took out a new needle and stuck it in my belly while I held my shirt up and said, “Just do it man, just do it” with my eyes shut tight.

Me – “That’s it? Did you do it?”

Her – “It’s done.”

Me – “But I barely felt it.”

Her – “You want to do it yourself?”

Me – “Of course I want to do it myself.”

So I stuck myself with another needle.

Me – “We should put ink where the insulin is.”

Her – “We’re not making prison tattoo’s.”

I went to sleep as soon as I got home and then woke up early to give two massages and then receive a facial. From there I blew off tennis and blew off my nightly plans. I went to bed at 8PM and here it is at 2AM.

I have to go to a wedding shower tomorrow. I should go back to sleep.

I dream about zombies, haunted houses, vampires and the like but the dreams that scare me the most? High school nightmares.