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About Stefan Oskar Neff Law Of Attraction

Stefan Neff "MISSION STATEMENT"
There is a ton of struggling and suffering in relationships today from alcoholism that is impacting people's financial situations and families. Debt loading is outrageous and lives are continually being destroyed because of financial failures alcohol abuse. It does not have to be this way and through our mission, we want to change the statistic of divorce rate failing in our society today, time to change this state of thinking time to create a successful vibration on this planet and a positive influence on society and our communities.
I truly believe that we all have gifts that always live in our souls, that is what makes us all unique in this world that we live in.
My goal in life is to create abundance within all that I touch.
To find true happiness comes from within our trust to ourselves that brings joy to our hearts with every breath we take towards greatness.
True greatness is to give to others with kindness in our soul.
My mission is to have families create massive success on many levels. Creating success in life, love, family and especially ourselves.
Now for a little about my life !!
WHO IS STEFAN OSKAR NEFF
I was married then divorced then remarried to the same woman again.
I was born in 1969 in Richmond BC Canada.
As far back as I remember when I was five years old I was a bed wetter until the age of twelve. I was always trying to hide this fact because my father would get angry with me, so I decided to hide my pee-stained sheets in the washing machine so he wouldn't get mad at me. When I started elementary school I was told that I had learning disabilities, I was a shudder and was dyslexic. When I tried to read and write, the school became difficult in my life having other children tease me throughout my childhood smelling pee on my clothes saying words like pee boy pee boy and being called stupid. This was a painful feeling in my life when I was growing up. One of my favorite things to do to escape my feelings in life was playing soccer as a child to release my anxiety in life, starting at the age of six years old. But I was always wondered why my father never came to my soccer games to watch me play. At times even my mother just dropped me off at the coaches house because she said she was to busy to drive me to my games. I often wondered when watching other mothers and father attending there children's games and asking myself why only me then tears would run down my cheeks with pain in my heart, wanting my parents to see me play the game I loved so much. I remembered when I was seven years old sitting on my parents' bed by myself playing with a box of wooden matches wondering what would happen if I started a fire on their bed. When the fire started to grow I began to panic in fear and went and sat down in the living room beside my parents like there was nothing wrong. As time went on my father could smell smoke and found there bed was on fire, he managed to drag the mattress outside of the house. My father was so angry his face turned into a different person, asking who did this looking at me did you do this, and I answered with a nervous look on my face trembling with fear, and said I did it I was playing with matches. I remember my father taking his belt off of his waist and hitting me many times and told me why did you make me belt you with anger in his eyes. In my teenage years, I continued to play soccer as well as basketball never once my father saying great job son always wondering if had got in trouble this was a painful time of my life growing up never being good enough for my father. In high school I began to rebel against my parents started smoking cigarettes drinking alcohol and doing drugs to escape from my pains in my life.
When I was twenty-three I had my first son without seeing him born and meeting him for the first time when he was three years old calling someone else daddy, I was blaming others for my problem in life continuing to abuse drugs and alcohol wondering why this was happening to me why me I asked as I looked to the sky with tears in my eyes. When I was twenty-eight my son started to visit me more often now five years old. I soon found out that his mother was abusing drugs to the point of being homeless with our son. I took it upon myself to enroll our son in kindergarten at the same elementary school I attended when I was a child. Soon after his mother became homeless and was living at her drug dealers house turning to a life of crime for the drugs that she needed. I took on the responsibility of carrying for my son on my own but still abusing marijuana myself. I had a strong hatred towards his mother for leaving me to raise our son without love in his life. I didn't know how to care for my son even though I loved him so much. When I was twenty-nine I meet a Japanese woman at my family's home, where I fell in in love with this beautiful woman and started on a journey of pain, fear, abuse, and love. I traveled to Japan for the next few years before marrying in Japan in the year 2000. When we got married she stayed in Japan and I came back without my wife. This was a painful feeling within me all over again thinking from my past. When I arrived in Canada people asked me where is your wife, I lied to my family and friends about my true thoughts and feelings holding them within me. I continue to abuse marijuana and alcoholic to hide my pains from myself and failing as a father with my son. When my wife decided to come to live in Canada she wanted to have a child and immigrate to Canada. But I didn't want to help her with the paperwork that needed to be done, I told her that you can do it on your own because I didn't know how to fill out the paperwork and she could pay someone to do it for her. I said to her you have more money than me to pay for it to do it yourself with anger in my voice. As time went on she became pregnant with our child, she asked me if we could go to the doctor with a reply do you have medical insurance, of course, I knew she didn't. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was afraid I might need to pay. All I wanted to do is save my money for drugs and alcohol and run away from my responsibility in life. Six months before our son was born my wives father was ill and dying of cancer in Japan, she decided to return and see her father for the time he had left in his life. I was so angry at her decision to leave me again because I thought that she wasn't going to return to Canada ever again. Her father past away a few months later before he could see his only grandson born. My fears became my reality when my wife decided to stay in Japan. So I decided to go to Japan and try to convince her to return with me to Canada with anger in my heart because I didn't want to be a failure in my life. I found there was no love in her heart for me anymore, I made an excuse that I needed to return to Canada to look after my son in Canada because he was sick and make arrangements to move to Japan, but this was a lie so I could escape from my responsibility as a father and as a husband. There was a time in our sons' life where he won't see his father when he was two years old wondering who his father was. During this time my older son was losing his father to drugs and alcohol wondering if his father was going to leave him behind like his mother did, My wife decided to come back to Canada for one reason only this was to get a divorce from me. I tried to make it work with love towards my son to make her love me again. This was a hopeless feeling in my life she was ready to move on with her life she hated me so much that she couldn't even look at me anymore. I knew at that moment there was no more love in her heart, I had driven her away forever. It felt like I was dying inside. I signed the divorce papers and they left soon thereafter seeming that I would never see my son again. I spent my time wallowing in my pains thinking that my life was a failure lying to people about what had happened between my wife and I. I said that she just didn't like Canada and missed Japan and was forcing me to move to Japan. I didn't send money, always promising but never doing what I said I was going to do for them. There came a time again my son wanted to see his father, so we set up Skype calls so he could see me once in a while and I started to send money to Japan. When our son was four years old he wanted to come and visit his family in Canada once again, but this time when they arrived in Canada they were put in jail at the Vancouver airport and were sent back to Japan in shame. We never spoke for the month after that painful moment in her life, she hated Canada more than ever now. There came a time in our sons' life that he really wanted to experience Canada for himself when he was six years old again wondering who is my father. Now my ex-wife decided to come back to Canada once again when they arrived at the airport the immigration officers phoned me and asked me many questions about why they were coming to Canada if I was really who they said I was. Finally, I saw them walking throw the gate with tears in my eyes thinking yes this is really happening finally after so many years of pain they are here, all the emotions came out from within me.
The plain was they were going to stay for three months, but I wanted them to stay forever. As time went on our son was enjoying his time in Canada and wanted to stay longer and start going to school in Canada so I signed him up at the local elementary where I went when I was a child. This was a dream come for me but there was no love between his mother and I. For his mother to stay in Canada she needed to be a landed immigrant, the only way this was a possibility was for us to get married again but there was no love between us. Her love towards her son was so strong she decided to get married without love in her hearts to make our sons' dreams come true. After we got married our anger towards each other grew more and more every day. She wanted to move away from me, but they didn't know where to go. She asked me to pay for them to stay somewhere else. The disappointment of this feeling turned into anger and I began verbally abusing her I told her if you move on your own you can pay for it yourself. She phoned the police on me about my verbal abuse towards her and they told her if I wasn't hitting her that there was nothing that they could do to help her, they said verbal abuse isn't a crime in this country. She decided to leave and go to a transitional house for the abused and homeless woman. This again was a moment of what I thought was betrayal, I said why me with anger in my heart. My family became angry with my wife for leaving me once again, protecting my feelings saying you did nothing wrong you are a good man. But deep down in my subconscious mind, there was a feeling that my family was wrong to think this way. My wife and son stayed at the transitional house for there aloud time one month. I wasn't allowed to see them nor allowed to know where they were staying. There was a friend that my wife had that help us reconnect our lives to allow me to see what I had to do as a father. I decided to pay for there small coach house where they were going to stay. Time went on in our lives our son started a new school. But I was an outsider now looking into a window of there life, wanting to be a part of there life but still thinking of myself. Living at my family's farm with my older son that didn't want his father to go away and leave him on his own to be raised by his grandmother. I would often stay overnight and try to be a guest father. But this was a painful feeling always looking into there lives through a window but feeling left out of there new life without me. Our son wanted to start playing soccer In 2010 this was something that creates joy in my life like when I was a young boy. I was asked to become his soccer coach for this was an exciting feeling for me to give back and participate in my sons' lives in a positive way. This was a dream come true, I always wanted to become a coach. Then that same year our son wanted to go visit his family in Japan but his mother wasn't allowed to leave Canada until she had gotten her landed immigration papers done. So we sent him to Japan with the friend that help us through our difficult times. During the time our son was in Japan, just before the new year had started at 11:55 PM December 31st, 2010 our life was turned upside down my wife had stopped breathing and was near death with an unknown illness! I panicked with fear and didn't know what to do, I got her breathing again but she could talk nor walk. I picked her up in my arms and carried her to my car and took her to the hospital as fast as could. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her, but she still couldn't walk on her own or talk after they did so many tests. They said that she could go home in the morning. When I brought her home she needed twenty-four-hour care this was the start of my healing process that was to care for someone else besides myself. What I didn't realize in 2009 that my wife was writing a blog about her life with her son without a father. People started to contact her asking her about the life that she was living in Canada. After her, near death experience, she started to change her life. In 2012 she was told that she had to stop writing her blog because some of my family members were getting upset about what was spoken to be the truth. This allowed her started her online counseling with Japanese women all over the world. My wife told me she didn't need me anymore and that you needed to understand that I am going to happy no matter what you do in your life. If I wanted to be with her I needed to understand her feelings that she is going to be happy without me in her life. This is when we I realized that she had changed her life. This was really when we started work on our relationship with passion in our life and love in our hearts. I didn't want to continue looking through a window of there life from outside. I made the decision to stop looking through the window and begin a life without fear of being alone in this world, to feel joy in my life allow truth to live within me. In 2016 after coming back from Japan, I made a life-changing decision to start working with my wife to change the world in how the universe creates our lives from what we believe to be our reality. We work on our relationship and business every day to have growth and learning about who we are as human beings to allow the feeling of happiness that is our lives together now.
THANK YOU LIFE 101
#LawOfAttraction #love #life #success #purpose #passion #lifestyle #BeHappy #StefanNeff

Our Mission – To create dynamic, easy to follow systems of coaching programs, sessions, groups and systems for people with addictive behaviours that create a powerful learning environment both in personal growth and life skills and inner knowledge of self-acceptance. To abstain from addictive behaviours and grow their mindset to outrageous levels of success.

Why -There is a ton of struggling and suffering surrounding addictive behaviours today that is impacting people’s financial situations and families. Addictive behaviours in families lives are continually being destroyed because of addictions. It does not have to be this way and through our mission we want to change the statistic of slipping and failing in the first 45 days of recovery to 99% being successful and having an amazing positive influence on society and our communities.

Our Vision -To be the world leader and chosen authority in understanding and adding soul and heart into individuals lives, and to dramatically impact the success rate of addictive behaviours through influential relationship building. To improve the inner growth of individuals and sustainability of abstinatanc to enhance the life of our clients and their family and the communities that support them.

What you will receive from our life-changing High-Performance Recovery Coaching. You will create a well-balanced lifestyle that most individuals only dream of having, you will create inner self-acceptance from whatever life has thrown at you. You will be able to deal with stressful situations and release anxiousness that is stopping you from living the life that you deserve. Our Coaching will guide you to have the tools necessary to cope with urges that are surrounding your addictive behaviours and unhelpful thoughts and feelings. Life will never be the same as your smile will glow from ear to ear and turn a dark room into the light of hope in your life like nothing else on this planet. The freshness of your life will feel like you’re tasting a freshly picked apple off the tree of unconditional love. Step forth into the life that you desire today…

This audio treasury of wisdom. Think Your Way to Wealth captures Napoleon Hill’s first encounter with Andrew Carnegie, who revealed the money-attracting strategy that Hill later made popular in classic books like Think and Grow Rich and The Law of Success. To buy the book or audio visit the link – http://amzn.to/2nNSATD In 1908, while working as a reporter for an inspirational magazine, Hill landed an interview with industrial giant, Andrew Carnegie. Hill had just one key question for the magnate: What is the secret to your success? Carnegie’s response electrified Hill and launched him on a lifelong mission to distill the steps to success into a clear, definite protocol that could be used by any motivated person. Think Your Way to Wealth captures Carnegie’s initial advice, how-to’s, practical steps, and concrete directions-all of which formed the basis for Hill’s groundbreaking books, and jump-started the field of business motivation. Napoleon Hill was born in 1883 in a one-room cabin on the Pound River in Wise County, Virginia. He began his writing career at age 13 as a “mountain reporter” for small town newspapers and went on to become America’s most beloved motivational author. He passed away in November 1970 after a long and successful career writing, teaching, and lecturing about the principles of success. Hill established the Napoleon Hill Foundation as a non-profit educational institution whose mission is to perpetuate his philosophy of leadership, self-motivation, and individual achievement. Napoleon Hill was born in Wise County, Virginia. He began his writing career at age 13 as a “mountain reporter” for small town newspapers and went on to become America’s most beloved motivational author. His work stands as a monument to individual achievement and is the cornerstone of modern motivation. His most famous work, Think and Grow Rich, is one of the best-selling books of all time. Hill established the Foundation as a nonprofit educational institution whose mission is to perpetuate his philosophy of leadership, self-motivation, and individual achievement. If you have read all of Napoleon Hill’s books, heard his lecture from the audio called “Your Right To Be Rich,” then you know how valuable his information is. This book is no different, what is contained in this book will give you a clear look into the two of the greatest minds in history. Those minds are, Napoleon Hill and Andrew Carnegie. Hill asked questions to Carnegie, which Carnegie gives Hill deep, thought-provoking answers that give you clear cut answers. Carnegie tells you how to develop faith, how to take control of your own mind to attract the things you want in your life. You get step by step instructions on how to use the Law of Attraction clearly without all the mumbo jumbo and confusion that are out there on the topic of Law of Attraction. I think this should have been released before Think and Grow Rich, this book seems to compliment all the later work. It just ties things up to make you completely understand things on a deeper level. There is so much information in this book that it is priceless and timeless. UPDATE: I just wanted to update my review of this product. In my honest opinion, this information should be read before Think and Grow Rich. The reason I say that is because in this PRICELESS interview, Carnegie gives the exact secrets on how to get anything you want in a step by step formula. I have been listening to this in my car on the way to work, the more I listen to this, I feel like I am right there in the interview as if it is happening. It gives me insights on how to improve in areas where I might be off slightly in doing the right step(s) to get to where I need to go. Carnegie understood this information so well that by the time I’m finished listening to this audio, I seem to understand certain sections more clearly. It is hard to explain, but if you’re serious about success in any area of your life, you owe it to yourself to buy this audio if you don’t have time to buy the book or kindle. Plus, just by listening to the audio, you’re reprogramming your subconscious mind for success. If you listen to it long enough, it will just start becoming a part of you to the point where you start doing the right things to get you on track to achieve your goals.

Why Did Drugs Feed My Pain

Chapter 2

With what I thought would be good for my pains wasn’t always good for my soul in the long-term race to the end result that I was looking for. What were the issues that I was craving in my life? Well, the one most important thing I wanted was to be loved, I needed acceptances from my parents so much I could taste it in the drug that consumed me at the age of thirteen years old. The trap had been set in my thoughts and overpowered my brain that was shaping me up to be a needy person, I was always seeking attention from others to fill my cup with love. I was a lonely child when sitting in my room late at night, I remember always turning on the heater when my parents went to sleep. The noise of the Furness soothed my loneliness as if my mother was holding me in her arms. I use to go into the basement and even turn on the clothes dryer to get the warmth and sounds so I never felt alone. I would fall asleep on top of the dryer and even in the middle of the night. I would repeat the same patterns into my teens even when I smoked drugs, the pain wouldn’t go away from my thoughts. I even tried to use warm milk at night but all that did was make me wet my bed. You see I was a bedwetter for most of young life, from the ages of three years old and up to the age of fourteen or so give or take a few years. I was ridiculed as a child for being a bedwetter from my parents most of all the neighbourhood kids in my small elementary school that I attended. I hated the feeling of being teased as a child. I would cry myself to sleep most nights. I noticed when I started to smoke cigarettes at thirteen I was king of my own destiny, I could feel strong as if I couldn’t be hurt. Then when drugs came into my life, the pain was starting to disappear but as soon as the high went away the pain came right back the next morning. I never knew then that I was in the circle of no return but at least I knew the pain would go away for a little while. Yes, that is what I said the drugs worked only for the short term pain just like prescription drugs that doctors prescribe to their patients when they are hiding from there inner pains. I truly believe that pain comes from our past thoughts that we create every day we are here on this planet. When I was a kid I wanted to be heard from my parents, but I was told to mind my own business and just do what you are told. Do your homework do your chores and we can talk about it later. I waited for the talk but the talk never came. What the heck is going on I thought to myself, I did my work so when can I get what I asked for? I never believed that I deserved anything that I asked for in life. I only got what was provided to me. Was this all there was in life a bucket full of promises from the people who had raised me and was supposed to love me unconditionally? Why me I thought, am I that bad am I not worth it be given what I asked for in life. I couldn’t understand the whole scheme of life as I was growing up. I only knew if I could only please them more I could receive more love and appreciation from my parents. Ok enough doom and gloom about my childhood, let’s talk business now!

How to stop the doom and gloom in life? I will tell you that life is very hard when YOU MAKE IT HARD!! Life can be and will be fun when you open up to new possibilities towards what you want not what you don’t want to happen in life. If you want joy and happiness you will receive it when you let go of fears that is holding you back from those most joyful moments in life. There might be roadblocks in your way but those are to make you stronger. If you think they are to stop you from what you want then you will stop moving towards your ultimate goal and that is happiness.

I always thought people were trying to hurt me so they were because I wanted to receive pain in my life. I wanted people to feel sorry for me when I was a small child so people did just that. I got what I asked for in my life for so many years. My plan worked out just as I laid it out. I would wet my bed to receive attention from my parents. I would fail my classes in school to have people feel sorry for me, to look upon me as if there was something wrong with me. I got it right the first time, I did get my pleasure of having my parents see me as a dysfunctional little boy that couldn’t do anything right.

I needed my parents for my pleasure to feel this way for most of my life even up until I was 40 years old. I never understood this until I found a solution to my life.

I Started Drinking At Three Years Old

Chapter 1

As life began for me, so was my drinking that wasn’t far behind, as of the age of three years old I had taken my first drink of the holy wine. I remember it like it was yesterday, my mother enjoyed a glass or two of wine on certain occasions, and I was like the family pet waiting for the crumbs to drop off the table but for this wasn’t food I was enjoying it was the yummy wine from the flower of dandelions, the most wonderful tasting wine I have ever tasted, because it was the only wine my parents made. I couldn’t understand why I enjoyed this flavour from the juices of nature, but something was so delicious about the feeling that the wine had given me. Nobody was the wiser about what I was doing, as if the world never knew, for this was the beginning of a long road to an addiction that carried forth for many years. I couldn’t stop this feeling that the wine gave me. I never understood the true reason why I wanted to drink until later in my life. I will tell you from the days of the 1970s the world through my eyes was covered with a dark haze that clouded my thoughts, that always moved me into never-never land. I felt like a cartoon character from the bugs bunny show when my mind was filled with alcohol. If you can imagine when you may have been watching cartoons back in the day, they were much different then the animation we have now out in the world wide web today. All the cartoons I watched had bugs bunny being chased down by so many characters like the hunter Elmer Fudd that always said it’s rabbit season or Yosemite Sam that said I hate that rabbit and my favourite Tasmanian Devil that never spoke but wanted to eat Bugs Bunny in every episode that they were in together. Yes, we always cheered for Bugs every time. I always wonder why they were hunting or trying to eat him, I was maybe three years old when I first watch this cartoon. I had so many influences throughout my life, but I remember this the most. My mind was shaped by what I had seen and heard from the TV screen. I believe that my mind was altered in such a warped way. I now know why the world seems to be so cold and dark and screwed up. I am not blaming the TV for my life and all that I have done to hurt people but what we see and hear shapes who we are in our adult life. I believe that we as individuals need to take 100% responsibility for our action in life. I do understand that now, but when I was wee little one I wasn’t taught how to take responsibility. I always looked at what I did like someone else’s fault. Who did I see in my life that was showing me the ways of the world and how to treat people, well my parents, but they only knew what they were taught by their parents and so on down the line. By blaming them for my life now, is absolutely crazy. I created my life, I picked my parents they didn’t pick me. If I understood correctly we have thoughts, feeling and create our outcomings in life. By blaming the cartoons I watched, that means I didn’t take responsibility for my life as a child. I didn’t know how to see the world in a different way until I started to see myself first. This isn’t why I started drinking alcohol but this why I now look at my life with an open heart.

My Mission

“I am Stefan Oskar Neff and I am on a mission to help people help themselves find solutions to create clear clarity surrounding drug and alcohol addictions that may be stopping people from living the life that they always wanted and dreamed of having towards the future they desire”. This all starts with our children and how they see the world. We as a human race have a right to live a meaningful life without roadblocks stopping our children from living a life of joy and happiness. By seeing ourselves for who we want to be, this is the truth of success in the world we live in today. What the future hold is up to us…

What he will get from our sessions…

1. The real reason why you needs to drink. (It’s not anxious feelings or stress)

As humans, we are programmed to feel fear. That’s actually a good thing, as it has played a crucial role in our survival as a species. However, you cannot allow fear to completely control your life, getting in the way of the success you yearn for. http://bit.ly/2tLHfpz To help you acknowledge and remove the road blocks in your life that are keeping you from the success you desire, I’ve included a FREE signup for my Success Formula training. Click the link above.

Financial success starts in the mind. And if you have a positive money consciousness, you will find it relatively easy to make, save, manage, and grow your money. In this video I’ll take you through a guided meditation that will help you with this. http://bit.ly/2GmhTWx To further help you with mediation of wealth and abundance, I’ve included a FREE download to my 4-Step Meditation Guide. Click the link above. Transform your life and career with this FREE training: The 7 Pillars of True Life Transformation! http://bit.ly/2OQidl3

Blogroll

Stefan Neff "MISSION STATEMENT"
There is a ton of struggling and suffering in relationships today from alcoholism that is impacting people's financial situations and families. Debt loading is outrageous and lives are continually being destroyed because of financial failures alcohol abuse. It does not have to be this way and through our mission, we want to change the statistic of divorce rate failing in our society today, time to change this state of thinking time to create a successful vibration on this planet and a positive influence on society and our communities.
I truly believe that we all have gifts that always live in our souls, that is what makes us all unique in this world that we live in.
My goal in life is to create abundance within all that I touch.
To find true happiness comes from within our trust to ourselves that brings joy to our hearts with every breath we take towards greatness.
True greatness is to give to others with kindness in our soul.
My mission is to have families create massive success on many levels. Creating success in life, love, family and especially ourselves.
Now for a little about my life !!
WHO IS STEFAN OSKAR NEFF
I was married then divorced then remarried to the same woman again.
I was born in 1969 in Richmond BC Canada.
As far back as I remember when I was five years old I was a bed wetter until the age of twelve. I was always trying to hide this fact because my father would get angry with me, so I decided to hide my pee-stained sheets in the washing machine so he wouldn't get mad at me. When I started elementary school I was told that I had learning disabilities, I was a shudder and was dyslexic. When I tried to read and write, the school became difficult in my life having other children tease me throughout my childhood smelling pee on my clothes saying words like pee boy pee boy and being called stupid. This was a painful feeling in my life when I was growing up. One of my favorite things to do to escape my feelings in life was playing soccer as a child to release my anxiety in life, starting at the age of six years old. But I was always wondered why my father never came to my soccer games to watch me play. At times even my mother just dropped me off at the coaches house because she said she was to busy to drive me to my games. I often wondered when watching other mothers and father attending there children's games and asking myself why only me then tears would run down my cheeks with pain in my heart, wanting my parents to see me play the game I loved so much. I remembered when I was seven years old sitting on my parents' bed by myself playing with a box of wooden matches wondering what would happen if I started a fire on their bed. When the fire started to grow I began to panic in fear and went and sat down in the living room beside my parents like there was nothing wrong. As time went on my father could smell smoke and found there bed was on fire, he managed to drag the mattress outside of the house. My father was so angry his face turned into a different person, asking who did this looking at me did you do this, and I answered with a nervous look on my face trembling with fear, and said I did it I was playing with matches. I remember my father taking his belt off of his waist and hitting me many times and told me why did you make me belt you with anger in his eyes. In my teenage years, I continued to play soccer as well as basketball never once my father saying great job son always wondering if had got in trouble this was a painful time of my life growing up never being good enough for my father. In high school I began to rebel against my parents started smoking cigarettes drinking alcohol and doing drugs to escape from my pains in my life.
When I was twenty-three I had my first son without seeing him born and meeting him for the first time when he was three years old calling someone else daddy, I was blaming others for my problem in life continuing to abuse drugs and alcohol wondering why this was happening to me why me I asked as I looked to the sky with tears in my eyes. When I was twenty-eight my son started to visit me more often now five years old. I soon found out that his mother was abusing drugs to the point of being homeless with our son. I took it upon myself to enroll our son in kindergarten at the same elementary school I attended when I was a child. Soon after his mother became homeless and was living at her drug dealers house turning to a life of crime for the drugs that she needed. I took on the responsibility of carrying for my son on my own but still abusing marijuana myself. I had a strong hatred towards his mother for leaving me to raise our son without love in his life. I didn't know how to care for my son even though I loved him so much. When I was twenty-nine I meet a Japanese woman at my family's home, where I fell in in love with this beautiful woman and started on a journey of pain, fear, abuse, and love. I traveled to Japan for the next few years before marrying in Japan in the year 2000. When we got married she stayed in Japan and I came back without my wife. This was a painful feeling within me all over again thinking from my past. When I arrived in Canada people asked me where is your wife, I lied to my family and friends about my true thoughts and feelings holding them within me. I continue to abuse marijuana and alcoholic to hide my pains from myself and failing as a father with my son. When my wife decided to come to live in Canada she wanted to have a child and immigrate to Canada. But I didn't want to help her with the paperwork that needed to be done, I told her that you can do it on your own because I didn't know how to fill out the paperwork and she could pay someone to do it for her. I said to her you have more money than me to pay for it to do it yourself with anger in my voice. As time went on she became pregnant with our child, she asked me if we could go to the doctor with a reply do you have medical insurance, of course, I knew she didn't. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was afraid I might need to pay. All I wanted to do is save my money for drugs and alcohol and run away from my responsibility in life. Six months before our son was born my wives father was ill and dying of cancer in Japan, she decided to return and see her father for the time he had left in his life. I was so angry at her decision to leave me again because I thought that she wasn't going to return to Canada ever again. Her father past away a few months later before he could see his only grandson born. My fears became my reality when my wife decided to stay in Japan. So I decided to go to Japan and try to convince her to return with me to Canada with anger in my heart because I didn't want to be a failure in my life. I found there was no love in her heart for me anymore, I made an excuse that I needed to return to Canada to look after my son in Canada because he was sick and make arrangements to move to Japan, but this was a lie so I could escape from my responsibility as a father and as a husband. There was a time in our sons' life where he won't see his father when he was two years old wondering who his father was. During this time my older son was losing his father to drugs and alcohol wondering if his father was going to leave him behind like his mother did, My wife decided to come back to Canada for one reason only this was to get a divorce from me. I tried to make it work with love towards my son to make her love me again. This was a hopeless feeling in my life she was ready to move on with her life she hated me so much that she couldn't even look at me anymore. I knew at that moment there was no more love in her heart, I had driven her away forever. It felt like I was dying inside. I signed the divorce papers and they left soon thereafter seeming that I would never see my son again. I spent my time wallowing in my pains thinking that my life was a failure lying to people about what had happened between my wife and I. I said that she just didn't like Canada and missed Japan and was forcing me to move to Japan. I didn't send money, always promising but never doing what I said I was going to do for them. There came a time again my son wanted to see his father, so we set up Skype calls so he could see me once in a while and I started to send money to Japan. When our son was four years old he wanted to come and visit his family in Canada once again, but this time when they arrived in Canada they were put in jail at the Vancouver airport and were sent back to Japan in shame. We never spoke for the month after that painful moment in her life, she hated Canada more than ever now. There came a time in our sons' life that he really wanted to experience Canada for himself when he was six years old again wondering who is my father. Now my ex-wife decided to come back to Canada once again when they arrived at the airport the immigration officers phoned me and asked me many questions about why they were coming to Canada if I was really who they said I was. Finally, I saw them walking throw the gate with tears in my eyes thinking yes this is really happening finally after so many years of pain they are here, all the emotions came out from within me.
The plain was they were going to stay for three months, but I wanted them to stay forever. As time went on our son was enjoying his time in Canada and wanted to stay longer and start going to school in Canada so I signed him up at the local elementary where I went when I was a child. This was a dream come for me but there was no love between his mother and I. For his mother to stay in Canada she needed to be a landed immigrant, the only way this was a possibility was for us to get married again but there was no love between us. Her love towards her son was so strong she decided to get married without love in her hearts to make our sons' dreams come true. After we got married our anger towards each other grew more and more every day. She wanted to move away from me, but they didn't know where to go. She asked me to pay for them to stay somewhere else. The disappointment of this feeling turned into anger and I began verbally abusing her I told her if you move on your own you can pay for it yourself. She phoned the police on me about my verbal abuse towards her and they told her if I wasn't hitting her that there was nothing that they could do to help her, they said verbal abuse isn't a crime in this country. She decided to leave and go to a transitional house for the abused and homeless woman. This again was a moment of what I thought was betrayal, I said why me with anger in my heart. My family became angry with my wife for leaving me once again, protecting my feelings saying you did nothing wrong you are a good man. But deep down in my subconscious mind, there was a feeling that my family was wrong to think this way. My wife and son stayed at the transitional house for there aloud time one month. I wasn't allowed to see them nor allowed to know where they were staying. There was a friend that my wife had that help us reconnect our lives to allow me to see what I had to do as a father. I decided to pay for there small coach house where they were going to stay. Time went on in our lives our son started a new school. But I was an outsider now looking into a window of there life, wanting to be a part of there life but still thinking of myself. Living at my family's farm with my older son that didn't want his father to go away and leave him on his own to be raised by his grandmother. I would often stay overnight and try to be a guest father. But this was a painful feeling always looking into there lives through a window but feeling left out of there new life without me. Our son wanted to start playing soccer In 2010 this was something that creates joy in my life like when I was a young boy. I was asked to become his soccer coach for this was an exciting feeling for me to give back and participate in my sons' lives in a positive way. This was a dream come true, I always wanted to become a coach. Then that same year our son wanted to go visit his family in Japan but his mother wasn't allowed to leave Canada until she had gotten her landed immigration papers done. So we sent him to Japan with the friend that help us through our difficult times. During the time our son was in Japan, just before the new year had started at 11:55 PM December 31st, 2010 our life was turned upside down my wife had stopped breathing and was near death with an unknown illness! I panicked with fear and didn't know what to do, I got her breathing again but she could talk nor walk. I picked her up in my arms and carried her to my car and took her to the hospital as fast as could. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her, but she still couldn't walk on her own or talk after they did so many tests. They said that she could go home in the morning. When I brought her home she needed twenty-four-hour care this was the start of my healing process that was to care for someone else besides myself. What I didn't realize in 2009 that my wife was writing a blog about her life with her son without a father. People started to contact her asking her about the life that she was living in Canada. After her, near death experience, she started to change her life. In 2012 she was told that she had to stop writing her blog because some of my family members were getting upset about what was spoken to be the truth. This allowed her started her online counseling with Japanese women all over the world. My wife told me she didn't need me anymore and that you needed to understand that I am going to happy no matter what you do in your life. If I wanted to be with her I needed to understand her feelings that she is going to be happy without me in her life. This is when we I realized that she had changed her life. This was really when we started work on our relationship with passion in our life and love in our hearts. I didn't want to continue looking through a window of there life from outside. I made the decision to stop looking through the window and begin a life without fear of being alone in this world, to feel joy in my life allow truth to live within me. In 2016 after coming back from Japan, I made a life-changing decision to start working with my wife to change the world in how the universe creates our lives from what we believe to be our reality. We work on our relationship and business every day to have growth and learning about who we are as human beings to allow the feeling of happiness that is our lives together now.
THANK YOU LIFE 101
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