When the ancient Polynesians invented surfing, they often used a paddle to help them navigate. Fast-forward a few millennia, and Stand-Up Paddleboarding, or SUP, finds itself trendy again. Part of its increasing popularity is that standing upright allows surfers to spot waves more easily and thus catch more of them, multiplying the fun factor. Paddling back to the wave becomes less of a strain as well. The ability to cruise along on flat inland water, surveying the sights, is another advantage. Finally, its a good core workout. If youre sold on the idea, schedule an intro SUP lesson, free with board and paddle rental, and you may find yourself riding the waves like a Polynesian king.More

Many of us remember coming home from our elementary schools with freshly glazed pinchpots, cups, or whatever else our young imaginations could conjure up. Saturday mornings at the Randall Museum can bring that memory back, or create a new one for the youngsters. Ceramics make great gifts — especially on Mothers' and Fathers' Day. Hop on board for the Randall's once-weekly class, and for $6 and two weeks to have your work fired and glazed, you'll have all the materials you need.More

Friday, January 28, 2011

Helpful Advice
Helpful Advice for Dealing with Security at S.F.'s Music Venues

It's not easy working security. Your job basically entails keeping drunk people safe, keeping minors sober, patting down strangers you probably don't want to touch, enforcing trivial rules you didn't think up in the first place, and pretty much freezing your ass off all night. All of the above things are terrible, so we sympathize. But, as we all know, dealing with security isn't always a picnic either. Here then is some helpful advice on how to deal with security across the live venues in this fine city of ours.

Remember the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld? The Regency Ball Room has a whole team of Gum Nazis. We get it! It's a pretty building! You don't want hardened-saliva-clad chewing candy stuck in crevices around the place! But man. When they locate that minty fresh Orbit of yours, they look at you the same way airport security does when they find nail scissors in your hand luggage. Do not take gum with you to the Regency Ballroom. The shame you will experience will leave your cheeks rosy and your head bowed all night.

We have become convinced over the years that the people who man Thee Parkside's entrance are, in fact, low-level Jedis. Because we always want to buy them beer. And we don't want to buy anyone beer, ever. Maybe it's not Jedi mind tricks -- just the fact that their laid-back warmth, slouchy demeanors, and plentiful beards makes us want to befriend them. We never actually do offer to buy them beer because that would make us look a bit nuts. But we do want to. And that's the main thing.

If you forget to get your ID checked at the door, do not, under any circumstances, let one of the guys that works behind the bar give you a wristband instead. Just walk back on outside, stand in line and do it the regular way. Because we didn't do that once -- we took the bartender wristband. And, later on in the evening, when we tried to return back inside from smoking, we were physically wrestled back out of the venue by three screaming banshee security guards who, even after an extensive explanation of the mishap, just kept repeating the phrase "I'm just doing my job." It was like that scene in Dangerous Liasons where John Malkovich is all, "It's beyond my control, it's beyond my control." Beyond aggravating, Warfield, beyond aggravating.

Put on some nice shoes for these folks. Not because you have to, just because there's always an air of suave coolness on the door here and we wouldn't want to disappoint them. If James Bond was a security guy, he'd work here.

It always feels a little bit ramshackle here, kinda like being ID-ed by your little brother's friends or something. Still, they do get the job done. The only thing we really don't like is when there's a random no cameras show, because they take away your luscious new Nikon for the night and hand you a raffle ticket in return so you can reclaim it later. Which feels a bit like entering a camera lottery. And, unless you've got a crappy camera, no one wants to be in that.

No one in the box office at the Fillmore can ever hear you, but they are generally pretty sweet, so we don't mind. Also, it's probably not their fault since their co-workers at the main entrance are prone to random bouts of yelling to keep everyone in the correct lines, or to move all the pesky smokers down the sidewalk to the post office. Our favorite thing about the Fillmore security staff though, is the older gentleman who sometimes waits at the top of the stairs and greets you warmly, like a long-lost relative, as you arrive. That guy rules. What's with the huge flyers on the way out though, Fillmore? We love it when you give us free beautiful band posters, but when you give us your upcoming schedule on an enormous ugly blue piece of paper and pretend it's a poster, you're not fooling anyone. [Editor's note, Pt. II: Initial editor's note regarding free poster distribution has been deleted following the revelation that it was all a big misunderstanding -- see Rae's comment below.]

If you buy dinner tickets for a show at Great American, you are greeted by a nice security person and led to your seats on the balcony. That shit is awesome because it makes us feel like Prince William's fiancé. Plus, security here is organized to the point of military precision, but never once steps into the realm of doucheyness. Good work, guys.

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Slideshows

Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'.
Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"