In today's society there is a strong trend towards separation. More and more relationships break down. More and more people are permanently alone. In surveys, about 10 percent of singles perceive themselves to be happy, 40 percent feel unhappy, and 50 percent see themselves in the middle. For people who are in a partnership, up to 40 percent feel happy, 10 percent unhappy and 50 percent place themselves in between feeling happy and unhappy.[1]

These results show that people respond differently to loneliness. Some people feel happy as singles, some unfortunate; most live in the area between. However, there are four times more unhappy single people than people in a partnership. And most singles suffer from loneliness. The following steps work for both singles and people in relationships. Also, it's important to recognize that even people in relationships can feel lonely sometimes. Working toward Inner happiness can benefit each of us, especially singles who perceive being alone as a source of unhappiness.

Steps

1

Process the loss of your partner. The first major step towards leading a positive single life is to overcome the loss of a former partner. Most people have had one or more relationships. The longer these relationships have lasted, and the more intense they were, the longer is the time needed to process through the sadness and negative emotions associated with the loss.

Live your grief completely. If you repress your grief, it will dig further into your subconscious. Subconsciously, most of us long for a happy, enduring relationship. It helps to look at the thoughts present inside. Cry over your loss and reflect on the essence of life, so that you may come back to positive thoughts again.

Listen to sad music, read books, or take walks in nostalgic places where the two of you used to frequent. Face the unhappiness directly.

Talk with other people about your suffering.

Forgive your partner and send him or her positive wishes for their well-being. We want all beings in the world to be happy, even those who are now lost to us.

2

Meditate. The way of meditation allows all of our thoughts and feelings to come out. Let your thoughts and feelings come and go at will. Just observe. Leave them be until they settle of their own accord.

3

Think Positively. The way of positive thinking is to think about the meaning of life, to focus on positive goals and to overcome grief with positive thoughts and phrases.

4

Connect meditation and positive thinking. If we only meditate, we can easily sink into sadness. Positive thinking can lead to the suppression of sorrowful thoughts and to inner tensions. If we make room to connect both meditation and positive thinking at the same time, our tensions will resolve. Inner happiness appears.

5

View single life as an opportunity rather than as a curse. Consider your single life as an opportunity for intensive growth to inner happiness. Make the path of inner happiness the center of your life while this chance exists. There are many people in couples who would jump at such freedom!

A relationship can distract a person from the spiritual path. Human beings are lost in worldly communication, wasting time talking too much. We put much of our energies into outer relationship activities. In a relationship, the main focus is mostly on the partner and not on the spiritual goal. The partner calls for proximity, contact and communication.

As a single person, you get the opportunity for a lot of rest. This is at once both a great burden and a great opportunity. Plenty of rest is the main path to enlightenment; with plenty of rest, inner tension dissolves almost by itself. Connecting a lot of rest with regular spiritual practice is the optimal way to enlightenment. Those singles who do not try to abolish rest by maintaining too many contacts with many people or constantly turning on the TV, but who instead seek to make the most of the opportunity to rest and combine this restfulness with spiritual practices, tend to grow into inner happiness.

The person who sees things clearly, focuses things right in life. And then the single life suddenly becomes a godsend. According to Swami Sivananda, the fastest way to inner happiness is to live alone and to constantly practice spiritually.[2] Amma (Mata Amritanandamay) said that you will get ahead on the path of inner happiness five times faster when you live alone.[3] Even Buddha pronounced that the deep inner happiness (enlightenment) is difficult to achieve when you live in a relationship.[4]

6

Develop a spiritual plan for each day. A spiritual plan is the means for being victorious over boredom and the loss of meaning of life. With a spiritual plan in place, your days are now filled. Having such a schedule gives your single life a positive structure. It gives you inner strength and positivity, and you live based on positive goals. Thus, you will become internally positive.

7

Spend a part of your day in various phases of spiritual practice. Feelings such as loneliness, boredom and meaninglessness are caused by internal tensions. These tensions block the energy of your happiness (enlightenment energy). Everyone has enlightenment energy within. Find the spiritual exercises that awaken your happiness every day.

The most important spiritual exercises are yoga, walking, meditation, reading, and positive thinking (cognitive work). The effort will be rewarded by reducing your feelings of unhappiness.

8

Distribute your spiritual exercises over the day. Doing so will ensure that your tensions dissolve, keeping awake your happiness energy, and bringing you into the light. The spiritual way offers cleansing.

Cleanse your tensions with persistence and creativity each day, until one day, you're living in permanent light. Once at this point, you'll easily find friends, because they're happy in your company.

9

Follow the path of the Karma Yoga. This path is a great gift for singles; it allows you to overcome your loneliness on a deep level to get into the energy of the all-comprehensive love. How do you become a Karma Yogi? The center of the path of love is the goal of a happy world. Wish happiness to all beings. In your mind you are already seeing the goal of a happy world realized. Live with a positive vision; this gives you the power for a positive life. Your positive vision opens the gates of happiness within you.

The main practice of Karma Yoga is to send light to all beings every day. Connect yourself with your friends every day. Connect yourself with all beings who touch you emotionally. Think their names. Move a hand and send them love and light. Send light all over the globe. Wish for all people in the word to be happy.

Wish for a happy world. Wish a happy cosmos. Break through your isolation as a single. Live in constant emotional contact with all other beings in the world. At some point, your feeling of loneliness will disappear. You are full of love.

It is important that you view this exercise as a real energy transfer. Help people heal with your light, and the light meditation will open your heart every day.

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Tips

There are many ways to help our fellow humans. There are many small positive actions you can practice regularly: Donate money to the people in the Third World; give a person a smile or a positive word; or perhaps work in a non-profit organization. Find a way of helping that suits you and is practicable for your situation. For example, a woman who was sick found her inner happiness by taking out two two hours each day to write letters of encouragement to other people. Every person is able to help fellow human beings in some way; even if we do only a small thing each day, doing so will bring us into the power of embracing love in the long term.

We should manifest our desire for a happy world externally too. Otherwise, our subconscious mind does not believe us, and we do not really get deep into the energy of embracing love.

Warnings

Be aware of the presuppositions and agenda of the people from whom you take advice. Consider talking to a professional counselor in lieu following advice from New-Age spiritualists on the internet.

Enlightenment is a great grace for all singles.[5] You are not lost. You can get to enlightenment in a relationship or as a single. But living alone usually offers significantly a greater chance of reaching the goal. You can live permanently as a single person in a happiness that is unimaginable for ordinary people.

Living alone is the hardest way of life. It is difficult for the most people to live alone. But a life as a single person gives us the big chance to attain enlightenment. Use this chance; realize yourself and become an enlightened single.

It is very important for a single to see things clearly. The main happiness of a human is his or her inner happiness; 90 percent of happiness is derived from inner happiness, and this determines how happy a person is in life.[6]