Her greatest sorrow: Knowing that she can't share her delight with her late husband, Hammon Taylor, who died in April, 2001.

He will miss Taylor Ann's screams when she sits in Santa's lap, her giggles when she learns to rip open the colorful Christmas paper and her exhaustion when she falls asleep in someone else's arms on Christmas eve.

Taylor, 49, said she can't wait to celebrate the season with her daughter and son-in-law, Deanna and Brad Buice, in the Dallas area, especially as a new grandmother.

(Taylor Ann) is just the light of my life right now," Taylor said. "It's just so much fun. People ought to skip the kids and stick to the grandkids."

But at the same time, she knows that sorrow will flood her soul this holiday season as she watches her 13-month-old granddaughter discover the joys of Christmas.

"She brought a lot of healing to us," Taylor said. "It's bittersweet. On one hand, we're just so delighted to have her. And on the other hand, we're trying to work through the process of why he didn't get to see her."

The only holiday decorating that Taylor did this year was placing artificial poinsettias at her husband's grave site.

"I haven't put up a tree since he passed away," Taylor said. "When my daughter was here for Thanksgiving, we went to the cemetery, and we decorated there."

And Taylor hasn't spent Christmas at home since her husband of 30 years died.

Experts say that changing holiday traditions is fine after losing a loved one.

"Your life and your holidays are never the same again, whatever you do," Taylor said. "Your life and your holidays are yours, and if you need to change something, it's perfectly all right to do that."

Many people struggle with their emotions during the holidays, even those who aren't mourning the death of a loved one, said Janet Bailey, licensed professional counselor and bereavement coordinator for Crown of Texas hospice.

"The holidays are very stressful, and we have a lot of unrealistic expectations," Bailey said.

Taylor, who used BSA Hospice services when her husband died of emphysema, said people grieving the death of a loved one should expect to feel a little depressed and a little weepy this time of year.

"It is a time for family," Taylor said. "You can't help feel the loss of your loved one more in this time of year. Of course, you can never replace that void in your holiday."

Grieving individuals need to acknowledge the change in their lives. Plan ahead and decide what they want to keep and what they want to change. That may mean a trip during the holidays instead of a family gathering at home.

But people should carefully examine the reasons for their decisions, said Jana Thurman, support services manager for BSA Hospice. It's Christmastime around the world. No one can escape that.

"What we really want to do is find a balance between the way things used to be and the way they are now," Thurman said. "We know that keeping all of our traditions the same is not going to happen because one person is not there. At the same time, there's a lot of comfort and peace in tradition, in knowing what's going to happen."

People shouldn't expect too much of themselves or of a grieving loved one, Bailey said. There is no rulebook about how grief should be done and how holidays should be handled.

"What you should do is what you feel like doing," Taylor said. "If you feel like celebrating, you should do that. And if you feel like declining invitations, you should do that too."

It's important to set limits, get exercise and watch diets, Bailey said. Grief is work. There are physical symptoms of grief.

"Whether they've been a 24-hour caregiver or not, they're surprised at how tired they are," Bailey said.

While grieving, people should lean on their friends and their faith. As friends, be available to listen and to help, but don't push.

Close friends will pick up on warning signals of serious depression, Taylor said. For her, declining invitations to couples' Christmas parties is fine. But saying no to her girlfriends for their dinner-and-a-movie outing could mean trouble.

"Some people find it very comforting to go to religious services, and others find it very painful," Bailey said. "Going to church may be painful, but if it is, people can still find ways to lean on their faith in more private ways."

Individuals also must give themselves permission to fail. And don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Meanwhile, strive to move forward.

"You have to learn to make all of the decisions," Taylor said. "You have to believe in yourself. And that's a very hard thing to do. I feel like this thing is easier, just because it's been more time. You don't want to hear that time heals all things. It doesn't heal it. it makes it more bearable."