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Monthly Archives: April 2019

it’s six o’clock and time to eat
I reminded Mrs. Human I wanted my treat
It’s genuine meat, I don’t need bread
We felines are carnivores, that must really be said
So keep your crusts and crumbs for the birds
Give me my tuna fish and mark my words.

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I am the nimblest feline in my territory
Although I must admit, I am alone in my glory
My paws are agile, I train every day
I have to be prepared to fight intruders away
They know my reputation of being very fast
And if a cat is chasing me I will never be the last
Stand up and fight, no that is not my ruse
I prefer to take the cat flap, the fight I could lose.

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“Yes. I wanted to jump to the top but it was no longer the same as when it was new.”

“Perhaps you are getting older Tabby, and no longer as fit as you were.”

“Rubbish, I am as fit as ever, but I am sure the wall is growing. It is higher now.”

“Walls do not grow Tabby, they stay the same size.”

“My wall told me that it is expanding and warping its way higher.”

“Walls do not talk Tabby.”

“Of course they do, they have ears as well and hear everything. Even humans are aware of that.”

“No Tabby that is just a figure of speech and it means that other people can hear what you are saying sometimes and it is better not to talk too much.”

“You mean that everyone can hear my meows.”

“No Tabby, because most humans do not understand your meows.”

“Another reason to stick to telepathy. That is how I converse with my wall, to keep my conversations private. I do not want any human listening in to what I discuss. There are certain situations that we like to keep to ourselves, speaking as feline to wall. And now I must go, my wall is growing again and pushing the plants up.”

“No Tabby, the plants are growing, that is nature.”

“It is all a matter of interpretation Mrs. Human.”

“Yes, of course Tabby. Am I glad that you explain everything so well.”

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“But it is not an original like mine. I have symmetrical stripes showing my descent from the felines that were worshipped as gods. This is more in the Picasso style of things, although we tabbies all have a unique mark on our fur.”

“You have a unique mark?”

“Of course, otherwise our mum would not recognise her kittens. I have a broad dark stripe on my back, to make sure that I am recognised, although I have my doubts with humans. For humans all tabby cats look the same. I must admit all humans look the same also. It is a good that they all smell different.”

“But I don’t smell Tabby.”

“You think so Mrs. Human? We felines do it all by smell, at least our nose is not short sighted.”

“How do I smell Tabby.”

“A human smell, it depends on what you had for lunch of course. At the moment it is definitely something that reminds me of a pig.”

“I beg your pardon. I do not smell like a pig.”

“What did you have for lunch?”

“A pork chop.”

“There you have it Mrs. Human. You definitely have something piggy about you at the moment, but do not worry, as soon as you eat something else it will disappear. What are you eating for tea?”

“I have some ham.”

“Pig again. Try eating mouse or bird, it would make your smell more identical to mine.”

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Should I go or should I stay
Rash decisions could go the wrong way
There might be a monster waiting outside
I will observe the situation and my time I will abide
I can see a movement underneath the leaves
Although Mrs. Human says it is only a breeze
I have nine lives, but somehow lost four
And if I am not careful, I might lose some more
I think I will stay in case the sky might fall
Although I would be safe if a hide behind a wall
Oh the problems in the feline lives must be overcome
But I am brave and dauntless, I will not succumb
I have made my decision, there is no time to lose
I will wait until tomorrow, in the meanwhile I will snooze

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“Doesn’t come into the question Mrs. Human. Today is catutopia day, when we find our cupboard of plenty and I found mine.”

“You found nothing Tabby, you hopped into the cupboard before I could shut the door.”

“It is all a matter of interpretation Mrs. Human. You opened the door and my dream was fulfilled. An enclosed space lined with the delights of a feline resting place. This is better than a tenth life. Layers and layers of soft fabric welcoming my fur. What could be better, a catutopic pleasure.”

“The word catutopic does not exist Tabby.”

“It might not in human, but it does in meow. One of our main words expressing the delights of being feline.”

“That might be, but the delights of being feline and spreading your fur over my clothing is not the delight of being human, so leave my cupboard. – now. Tabby did you near me? And now she is sleeping in my cupboard.”

“i am not sleeping Mrs. Human, just resting my eyes. And when you go, leave the door open that I can make an exit afterwards, I have been forgotten and locked in the cupboard before.”

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I only read hieroglyphs
The writing of the cats
You think it was the Egyptians?
No, we are the technocrats
Books were scratched on papyrus
Felines were the very first
Literature was our second language
We are completely versed
The humans tried to copy us
They were still writing with chalk
We had progressed to paw prints
It was easier to walk
Today it is not needed
We felines know all kind
We stare the human in the face
And we can read their mind
Whilst they are still reading books
We construct the codes to follow
Humans are so easy to read
Their ideas are so very hollow
It was the felines that wrote the theories
As a basis for the facts
Mathematics were our invention
We are the genuine cracks

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Three Cool Cats, Nera, Tabby and Fluffy

This blog belongs to Tabby the cat that owns me. There two other cats Nera and Fluffy but they left for the eternal corn chambers, never to be forgotten and sometimes they still pay a visit on this page. They see life from a feline perspective. They sleep 23 hours a day and spend an hour looking for somewhere to sleep. Their hobbies are eating, sleeping, hunting and birdwatching.