Now we've seen a lot of awesome freaking commercials here at Geekologie, but this one may take the cake. It's for the $600 Beamz Laser Music System (Beamz Lazer Muzic Zyztem was already taken). It's basically six lasers, and anytime you break a beam with your fingers/hands a different sound is triggered. You positively HAVE TO WATCH the entire 3:00 video (after the jump). Now I've been known to set up a camera and film myself doing stupid things before, but never have I ever looked this ridiculous. It's almost too much to bear thinking these people are real and can wake up in the morning and face themselves in the mirror. That said, the laser thing they're playing is the awesomest freaking thing I've ever seen.

anyway this guy clearly went and bought it, then replanted the lasers in several regions of his body (most important region being the head) to become the most real person ever to have gone to your next best idiot party island.go him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMffJLWoRTY

You are familiar with the theremin (circa 1919), right? Granted, this new creation is incredibly more 90's, and therefor incredibly more awesome. If you're not familiar though, look no further:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJYho56INKU

Wow, I want like a dozen of those, so me and my super-cool friends can wear sunglasses and high-five each other after a really good smooth jazz jam session (or smazz sesh, as we say). Then we can go for a ride on our Segways and blow each other.

"With the beamz, there should be no performance anxiety at all because — whichever beam you break, in whatever sequence — your music is guaranteed to be harmonious. All discordant chords and sour notes have been programmed out so everyone plays great."

That's from the Sharper Image product description, so I think we can all stop comparing it to a theremin. I'd say it's more similar to, say, a tape player... Except that apparently it can only be played with the appropriate head motion (exaggerated nodding, emotional eyes-closing while meerkat gesturing, etc.).

SmokingGirl, where have you been? You don't expect me to run this whole production do you? Besides, I don't think this relationship via the comments section of Geekologie is creepy enough for my taste.

No Mom, I will not adjust your roll up stockings! I'm busy down here with my new friend! Now close the door and leave me a...a...Did you make pudding!? OK, leave it and be gone!!

Ewww. I spent the entire time debating whether that was a fake or not. Who the hell would want such a piece of crap? I can play better things on my stupid little yamaha keyboard that I got for christmas when I was six. That's how bad this thing really is. It's outdone by an ancient children's toy.

F***, all that's going through my head is how much money must have been spent making this, this...demon from the pits of hell!

Hey, just because none of you have the lack of vision and talent required to create incredible elevator music by breaking laser beams with your chubby fist doesn't mean you have to mock this incredible innovation that allows retards and no-talent ass-clowns to play prerecorded porn music. You detractors! Denegrators of other people's joy! Shame on all of you. Damn your eyes.

So it's basically a pre-recorded song(s), with all of the separate parts on mute until you break each beam. So you can play the whole thing by not moving your hands at all, just blocking the beams. Ridiculous. Hilarious commercial though. The 'beamz concert' linked to above made me want to leave this planet forever.

What a shit product. Seriously. Why lasers? you could do the same thing with 6 buttons. It can only play pre recorded crap too. useless trash.

I will stick to my Marshall and Gibson, digital crap will never get this good.

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