|11=An teh voice sez, "Oh, hai. I be Alpha, an also, I be Omega, an rite whut you seez, an send it to those sehvuhn churchez over therr in Asia. In case u forgotz, tehy be Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia (wich not be teh wun in Pehnsluvainya) and also Laodicea, wich iz all funneh namez, but I not made dem up."}}

|11=An teh voice sez, "Oh, hai. I be Alpha, an also, I be Omega, an rite whut you seez, an send it to those sehvuhn churchez over therr in Asia. In case u forgotz, tehy be Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia (wich not be teh wun in Pehnsluvainya) and also Laodicea, wich iz all funneh namez, but I not made dem up."}}

Vizjuns 'o Jebus

9 Anywayz, I be John, ur bruder an ur friend in Bebeh Jebus. So dis wun tiem, I wuz on Patmos talkin to sum doodz about Bebeh Jesus an teh Ceiling Cat.10 Wun Caturday, I wuz chillin an I heerz dis hugenormous voice behaind meh, an it wuz rly lowd lyke a trumpet insturmentz.11 An teh voice sez, "Oh, hai. I be Alpha, an also, I be Omega, an rite whut you seez, an send it to those sehvuhn churchez over therr in Asia. In case u forgotz, tehy be Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia (wich not be teh wun in Pehnsluvainya) and also Laodicea, wich iz all funneh namez, but I not made dem up."

12 I lookz for teh voice an, it wuz invisabuhls! Insted, I seez sehvuhn golduhn bukkits!13 Also, therr wuz a dood dressed real nice, even tho he wuz in a dress.14 Teh dood had a hed taht wuz wite, an also hairz taht wuz wite. Also, his eyez wuz chargin his lazors.15 An his feets wuz lyke a heeter, an his voice wuz liek a mighteh toilet flushinz.16 He made sehvuhn cookies in hiz rite hand, an a sword in hiz mouf. Also, hiz face wuz all glowinz, like teh sun. Srsly.