Thursday, November 12

Jeez. I wish the Hoveround people would stop being so persistent...Time to post the semi/notso famous story: WHAT?

Yeah, you heard me...

Just read it all the way through. I know it's kinda long, but it's pretty funny, and it won't take as long as you think since it's in chatroom form. Enjoy! I'll explain where we got the idea at the end.

WHAT?

Mom: son, I think you have a problem.

Jason: what?

Mom: a problem. Like, there’s something wrong.

Jason: what?

Mom: …so, we’re signing you up for therapy.

Jason: what?

M: therapy.

J: what?

M: THERAPY!

J: what?

M: get in the car.

J: what?

M: maybe we should get your hearing checked…

~

-at therapy-

Therapist: hello.

Jason: what?

T: I haven’t asked you a question yet, Jason.

J: what?

T: …let’s get started.

J: what?

T: can you say anything other than what, Jason?

J: who?

T & M: -GASP-

T: you, Jason, you.

J: what?

T: back to square one.

~

-at school, with girlfriend Kayla-

Kayla: good morning, Jason.

Jason: what?

K: I said good morning.

J: what?

K: GOOD MORNING!

J: what?

K: forget it.

J: what?

K: let’s get to class.

J: …what?

-five hours later-

Kayla: you ruined my life, Jason!

Jason: what?

K: you and that stupid word! Shut up!

J: what?

K: -storms off-

J: what?

~

-at police station-

Officer: did you, or did you not, destroy your girlfriend’s phone?

Jason: what?

O: the phone. Did you destroy it?

J: what?

O: let’s try another question.

J: what?

O: Did you blow up Kayla’s phone with multiple tons of illegal explosives.

J: what?

O: -slap-

J- ow.

O: finally! So, did you do it?

J: what?

O: the crime we’ve been talking about for twenty minutes?

J: what?

O: -slap-

J: what?

O: forget it.

~

-in therapy-

Therapist: well, Jason, we’ve been making some progress these past few weeks.

Jason. –nods- what?

T: we’ve learned that you can answer questions nonverbally.

J :–nods- what?

T: but we can’t get you to stop saying ‘what’ afterwards.

J: what?

T: -condescendingly- You’re regressing, Jason.

J: -shakes head- what?

T: I’ll see you next week.

~

-at school, in English-

Teacher: -muttering to self- who to choose, who to choose… Ah! –outloud- Jason, can you answer the question?

Jason: -nods- what?

T: um, you did the homework, right? Just explain what you did to the class.

J: what?

T: -sigh- give me the paper.

J: what?

T: GIVE ME YOUR HOMEWORK.

J: what?

T: -snatches paper off desk-

J:…

T: -GASP-

~

-at therapy-

Therapist: it seems we’ve run into a problem, Jason.

Jason: what?

T: according to your teacher, you wrote nothing but the word ‘what’ on your English homework.

J: -nods- what?

T: I didn’t realize writing was a problem for you.

J: what?

T: I don’t get paid enough for this.

~

-still at therapy-

Therapist: I wonder why you even have this problem…

Jason: what?

T: I mean, it’s obviously not your parents’ fault.

J: this is just how I am.

T: OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH!

J: what?

T: -bursts into tears-

~

-somewhere-

Announcer: Jason, we’re bringing you back.

Jason: what?

Announcer: sorry, my wife told me to say that. What I meant was-

Jason: what?

A: -sigh- someone felt your story was incomplete, so we’re talking to you again.

J: what?

A: I know it doesn’t make sense, but just go along with it.

-J & A joined by Therapist and Officer-

J: wow, I have never seen you all together.

T & O: what?

J: that’s my line.

T & O: -faint-

J: what?

A: I don’t know what’s going on.

T: -unfaints- Normally all he says is what! And now he’s speaking in full sentences!

A: Oh, I thought I was just being confusing.

J: you were.

T: we should have brought you into the story earlier! It would have save us all this stress.

J: what?

A: I’m confused. Why is there a police officer here?

O: -unfaints- I’m here to continue questioning on the crime.

A: crime?

J: what?

T: it feels like we’re going in circles!

O: that’s because we are!

-after hours of arguing, and more “what’s” than it was worth, the therapist and announcer leave-

Officer: finally, I have you alone.

Jason: what?

O: we must get to the bottom of this!

J: what?

O: this will only take a second.

J: what?

O: where were you…three months ago on Monday, at 7:59 pm?

J: what?

O: you are innocent until proven guilty.

J: OMG! SHUT UP WITH THE CHEESY LINES!

-therapist pops up-

Therapist: I knew it! He speaks when he’s annoyed! Provoke him further!

O: okay, let me think… we have a situation. I repeat, we have a situation.

T: that’s great!

J: -punches both-

SO, how'd you like it? Well, even if you didn't like it, you should at least know where the idea came from. So here's the background:

Rianna and I were stretching in the gym before practice, and some guys were playing basketball.

There was this one really tall guy who kept shooting three pointers and missing, and everytime he did, he would yell, "WHAT?!" like he had just done something awesome and...totally pwned everyone. Which he didn't.

So, Rian and I were like, "what if there were someone who couldn't say anything but the word what? people would get so annoyed with him." She randomly called him jason, forgetting that it was my brother's name, but it stuck. And on the spot, we came up with the part abotu Kayla and his mom...and some of the therapy, I think. It was a very sudden story. It just appeared into existence.