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Meet Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Baby Mama

When I heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger knocked up one of his housekeepers, I assumed she would be an absolute cherry bomb like Eva Mendes. Mildred Baena is unfortunately not. This is actually the worst part of the scandal. If this chick was somewhat decent looking, people would be like, “What did you expect from Arnold Schwarzengger?” Instead it’s like, “Holy shit, Arnold ruined his marriage with a chick that looks like she’s from Fraggle Rock.”

Let this be a lesson to you out there, ladies. Maria Shriver is a pretty hot MILF. She’s smart, American royalty, and again she’s very attractive for a 55-year-old lady, but if you don’t put out, your men will fuck everything in sight. Even the overweight Mexican housekeeper. Maybe Arnold needed to get a workout in on the fly so he decided to bench the housekeeper. With his penis. Here’s a fun fact: Tom Brokaw introduced Arnold to Maria Shriver. This is all your fault, Brokaw!