Tuesday, August 5, 2008

rage untold

She looks at the screen. Staring blankly at it. Thoughts of thoughts arose. ideas and imaginary paints the black screen. That of once was empty. One by one, layer by layer. Now what she thought was nothing, is finally making sense. All in the back of her head. She recognize one by one of what was pasted. The times when she had the greatest happiness, when nothing was ever a hard time. When something was so valuable that she never mind to face the gruesome reality awaits. All is lost. She thought. All is lost. Now there's only responsibility.

"I was not ready for this, I am still not." Her heart says.

She's just a girl, that needs to see and feel so much more fun and ups and downs.

Where was the time when running away is always better? She asks herself.

Nobody answers. they are all hiding it from her. Afraid she might be bruised. Afraid she might fall. Afraid she might lose guide. Little they realize, they use to had that.

So why can't she? Why can't she bruise like the use to? Why can't she feel what they felt? Why cant she taste what they taste?

Because they already know what it taste that they forbid her. because they just realize those are the useless.

but why won't they let her feel it herself?

life is about discovery. yes, it is. It was, until now. She wanted to go back, to the times when she was so selfish. So selfish that she cry everyday, But always had the best of time with no regrets. No regrets. She feels that a lot now. She regrets. Something she never did. Something she never know she could do.

Why won't they let her be? Why do they want her to grow up so fast?

"Im not so feeble, You cannot treat me like this." She scream, but only she could hear

She is happy now. But there is something like a lost missing puzzle waiting to be attached. Something. She wants to find it. They lock it somewhere, she is sure. But they never let her have it. They think its for the best. They think. She just think she might collapse, and wake up again to leave everything she knew, Just to find someone or something that would let her have her missing piece.