An attempt to spread the word of Agriculture through my own experiences. Inspired by Advocates for Agriculture and their story on ABC's Landline on the 14th August 2011. Might take me a while to get this page up to scratch, but it should be fun trying.

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Thank you to everybody who has shared this blog. Sharing is the way these things work, otherwise I'm justing talking to myself. If you like what you read please tweet, Facebook or email it to your mates. The more people outside our agricultural circle we can reach the better. Don't forget to have a look at the other blogs I'm following too. Everyone has a story to tell.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Bless you.

Day 1 - Place is
looking pretty good right now, the winter has been okay, and looks like it’s
not going to cut out too early. Next time I’m in town I’d better stock up on antihistamines,
there’s a faint itch in the air already.

Day 3 - Doing a
paddock tour while inspecting sheep. The wild radish is flowering nicely. Never
did get to town. Funny how the radish
flowers block the radiator but not my nose. That’s running freely.

Day 4 - Going to
town. Last night in bed elbowed Gemma’s head as I scratched my nose while asleep.
Need drugs and need them now. And an
icepack. And flowers.

Through a haze of tears and snot explain to the young
counter girl at the pharmacy that while the packet does say 24 hour relief,
past years have proven that to be a furphy. Mildly annoyed when she refuses to
sell me three different types of antihistamines at once.

After doing three separate runs into three separate chemists
now know what it feels to be a meth maker seeking pseudoephedrine.

Day
5 - As usual, takes a few days for the drugs to kick in. While waiting,
spend most the days walking around saying “Ghnnnng hnggghh ghhnnng” as I try to
make the inside of my skull vibrate to stop the itch that is living there.

Day
7 - Have formulated the routine. One twenty four hour tablet with breakfast
coffee. If brain not required after
lunch, one six hour-do-not-operate-machinery tablet at lunchtime, then one twenty
four hour tablet at dinner, while snorting nasal spray like a certain WA based
footy team snorts white powder. If brain is required, suffer, but whinge, bitch
and moan about it until sent home in disgust.

Day
8 - Gone around the house with roll of duct tape. Only one door now
opens and this place is sealed up like a NASA airlock.

Day
13 - Checking sheep again. Have
had to carry packet of wet towel wipes in ute to clean the inside of windscreen
after each explosive sneeze. Must look like a heavy metal fan head-banging to a
silent tune to anyone watching.

Day
15 - Mowing. It’s not too bad in the tractor cab. Sealed, filtered air-conditioning
and I’ve got the throat lozenges and nasal spray, and so long as I don’t have
to get out its all good. This should be fairly………. why did the mower just make
loud bang and is now rattling? Turn radio up. Can still hear the rattle, which is actually
more of a heavy clunking. Probably should get out and look.

Day
16 - Pulling the mower to bits, which is now covered in freshly cut chaff
and midgies. Mechanic comes out to help, and upon seeing my tears he assures me
it’s not that bad, and I’ll be mowing by the next day. Try to explain its only allergies, but I think us blokes cry wolf too
often with that one. He doesn’t believe me.

Day
17 - Mowers fixed and back operating again. Drugs staring to slow me down
a bit. Decide that the inspiration for slow moving drooling zombies in movies
came from a dosed up hayfever patient.

Day
25 - Baling. Trying to thread the twine through the baler’s bowels while
holding my breath and keeping eyes closed. May have failed miserably, as seemed
to have threaded it through the PTO shaft by mistake.

Day
27 - While baling seriously brainstorming ways of eliminating the
requirements for pollen. Things start to get a bit freaky and decide to leave
it alone. Blame combination of drugs and
freaky Twitter mates.

Midnight, most nights - Gemma wakes me for fear that I am driving my
index finger so far up my nose while sleeping I am in real danger of literally
being in touch with my sub conscious.

Day
28 - Baling again, this time onto small squares. Less said the better, as
the one of the knotters develops dementia and refuses to tie off properly.
These things are called idiot cubes for good reason. Have also fitted a bottlebrush
to cordless drill for the ear itch.

Day
30 - 11.30pm. Last bale rolls out of the machine. Am going into self imposed
lockdown until the winds settle and the pollens dry out. Index finger has
become alarmingly muscled and nostril slightly more flared. While in quarantine
will start drawing up legal proceedings against the large pharmaceutical
companies who claim 24 hour relief. But need to make until the zombie drugs are
out of the system. Bless you.

Hayfever - yuk. I have a child who use to suffer dreadfully but started him on allergent injections. Brilliant - no more suffering. Injections start off a once a week for 3 months then monthly for a few years.

Agchatoz

About Me

I farm in Geraldton, West Australia with my wife Gemma and her parents. We run a export depot for sheep and goats on one property, a bit of crop and damara sheep on another, and Gemma's parents run the damara sheep station near Yalgoo, about 200kms east of Geraldton.