Denise Van Outen admits this could be “crunch time” for her and hubby Lee Mead.

Their marriage has been dogged by rumours of splits and bust-ups since they tied the knot in the Seychelles three years ago, but it’s still a shock to hear her say it.

Then she smiles and points out the “crunch” is nothing to do with their relationship – but the decision on whether to have another baby.

“Betsy’s two now, she’s in nursery and will be in pre-school soon, so this is really when we should be deciding if we have another,” Denise explains.

“We have both always imagined having two children and would ideally like them to be no more than three years apart so they could grow up together.

“I’m not getting any younger, which is an important factor to consider for health reasons and I don’t fancy being the oldest mum at the school gate.

“But at the moment we’re going in waves. Some days we’re saying ‘Right, we’ll start trying for another one’, but the next day, when Betsy is racing around screaming at the top of her lungs, we’ll wonder what the hell we were thinking!”

The actress, singer and TV presenter has just written a new book, Adventures in Parenthood, which charts the two years since she and actor Lee, 31, had Betsy.

And in typical, up-front style, Essex-born Denise admits it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride.

“There are loads of books about pregnancy and manuals on caring for a baby,” she says.

Solid: Denise and husband Lee Mead (Image: WireImage)

“But my ‘mum friends’ and I all said there ought to be a book that really tells it how it is to suddenly find yourself with a new baby…. ie, a MASSIVE shock.

"You think that you’re the only person feeling like you do. You feel a bit of a failure and you assume other parents just do it all naturally. They don’t. Everyone learns as they go along.

“When you’re in the public eye, like Lee and me, people think you have a perfect life. We certainly have a lot of privileges others don’t, but we’re just a normal couple and found it as hard as anyone else.

“And our relationship was still quite new, too.”

Denise and Lee met and fell in love in 2007 while working on the TV talent show Any Dream Will Do.

They married in the Seychelles in April 2009 and Betsy was born in May the following year.

They both went back to work soon afterwards and the cruel marriage rumours began. There were reports of furious rows over Betsy’s child care and even claims that the pair were close to splitting.

With her usual candour, Denise admits they DID go through tough times – like any new parents – but never thought their marriage was in trouble.

“Look,” she says, “I’d question any couple who say their love life wasn’t affected in some way by pregnancy and having a baby.

“I still read stuff now, two years on, that I’ve been seen having a screaming fit at Lee and things aren’t good. But we are very, very happy and our relationship is stronger than ever. We respect each other so much more.

“Yes, we bicker – like any, normal couple.”

Denise is just as open about their sex-life and relationship in the book.

Life change: Denise woth Betsy aged two months (Image: Collect)

She explains: “Towards the end of pregnancy sex starts to feel more like an orienteering exercise than spontaneous affection!

“Some of my friends were at it like rabbits right up until the baby arrived and then straight afterwards.

“But I’ve also got mates who, three years on, are still concerned that their sex lives may never be the same. Lee and I were in the middle.

“Sex can be painful for a woman at first, then there’s the hormones as well as a lack of sleep for both of you – so it’s tough.”

There is also the embarrassing issue of underwear, which takes on a whole new look post-pregnancy.

“You go from wearing sexy lingerie to bras that could be used as slingshots and knickers that come up to your bust – not to mention the attractive breast pads to soak up any leaking milk.

“How could any man resist? And if either or both parents work as well, getting jiggy in the sack can seem nigh-on impossible.

“That’s certainly the situation we found ourselves in. It’s not that when Betsy came along we lost all feeling from the hips down – but we had to schedule it.

“For quite a long while we were never in the mood for romance at the same time so we simply ended up going without for ages.

“I wondered if our love life would ever return to normal – but thankfully it did.

“You have to work at it – and not just sex. You need to remember your relationship as a couple and ask yourself if you’re finding enough time for your partner.

Splashing good fun: Betsy by the seaside (Image: Collect)

“Lee and I definitely weren’t finding enough, if any, time for one another – let alone time to be intimate – and it was very hard to make the effort.

“Once, when Betsy was four months old, Lee asked my mum to babysit so he could surprise me with a romantic night out.

“I got wind of it but was so exhausted it was the last thing I wanted to do. I told Lee I’d rather catch up on sleep instead and that caused another argument.

“But once we’d calmed down and talked we promised each other we’d work to get things back on track.

“We began putting dates in our diaries – a trip to the cinema or a dinner. We looked forward to them, got dressed up and talked like we did in the early days. It almost felt as if we were getting to know each other again.”

Denise took a break from acting and presenting to write the book and has also been working on a one-woman theatre show – “a kind of Sex and the City on stage” – as well as an all-female TV sketch. She says she cherishes the extra time it has given her with Betsy.

She was hit hard by the baby blues when Betsy was three weeks old, but luckily, did not develop severe post natal depression. It still took her a year to “feel normal again” though. She says: “I was on a fabulous high for a few days after Betsy arrived. But then the responsibility hits you.

“For three months I felt really weird. I still had loads of happy days with her but something was dragging me down – I felt dazed, a bit punch-drunk.

“I was full of self-loathing and if I looked in the mirror I saw Cruella De Vil. Lee complimented me all the time but I felt a mess.

"It was like PMT times 100 – crying for no reason, feeling stressed out and then beating yourself up for feeling so s*** when you’ve got this beautiful baby.

“I felt my life had changed overnight and I was a bit out of control. I had a mummy meltdown on my 37th birthday when some girlfriends were going to take me out.

“That afternoon I sat on my bed with Betsy in my arms, feeling totally exhausted. Then the floodgates opened and I sobbed and sobbed.

Hoppy days: Betsy aged 11 months (Image: Collect)

“When my friend arrived I was a mess, but she sat and listened, then persuaded me to go and get dressed for dinner.

“I’m fortunate that my negative feelings started to go on their own when my hormones began to settle down.”

Sleep deprivation was playing a huge part in the way she felt.

“I was so tired it was almost painful to be awake and I felt I was losing my marbles. Quite frankly, Lee and I still feel like we haven’t had a normal night’s sleep.

“I was away with my girlfriends last week and managed to have the most wonderful, deep sleep. The next day Lee texted to say Betsy had a cough and he hadn’t slept at all. I felt really guilty.

“But I don’t want people to think the book is one big moan. The past two years have been tough but amazing and joyous, too.

"Betsy is a lovely little girl. Taking some time out from work to write meant I could be with her more – and I’m conscious how quickly she’s growing up.

“All I can wish for is that one day she’ll find a man to love her and treat her like Lee treats me. I look back at all the times I wasted on bad boys and commitment-phobes and put it down to experience.

"But I count my blessings every day that I have found someone as fabulous as Lee to spend the rest of my life with.”

? INTERVIEW AND EXTRACTS FROM ADVENTURES IN PARENTHOOD BY DENISE VAN OUTEN, PUBLISHED BY HEADLINE, £12.99