Are Your Friends Part of the Reason You’re Single? (Video)

Do you ever look into the future and try to imagine what being in love and getting married will be like? It’s a great thing to imagine because it helps to keep you hopeful and focused on this important goal. But have you ever stopped to consider the path you are walking on today should be one that will move you closer to finding the right spouse for you? Is it possible that your Lenten journey today will play a role in helping you find the love of your life?

During Lent, we pause to reflect upon Jesus’ passion and death. The temptation we face is to step out of daily life when we reflect on Christ and when that’s over, go back to our distractions. But a better way to go about this is to incorporate our reflections into daily life so we can really live Lent and give God more opportunities to work in our lives.

So let’s reflect again on the Stations of the Cross. Because Jesus would become the savior of the world, He naturally had his adversaries, the Pharisees, the Roman soldiers, the disciples who walked away because of his teachings. We all encounter people like this in our lives.

But Jesus had other relationships. He hung out a lot with Lazarus, Martha and Mary, and we know what kind of people they were. His 12 closest friends loved Him, believed in Him, and supported Him in His work. So as we walk with Him to Calvary, let’s look at the people Jesus encountered on the way: His mother, the women of Jerusalem, Veronica, Simon of Cyrene—all people of faith. So here is our first point of reflection is:

1. What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? Are they relationships that will likely lead you to find the love of your life?

I went through this discernment process when I was single myself and took note of any relationships in my life that might have been holding me back and indeed, there were many. I actually ended up quitting my job as a way to end a few of the unhealthy relationships I had, which was the right thing for me at the time. God blessed me for taking this leap of faith and it was within a new group of friends that I eventually met my husband. This leads us to our second point of reflection:

2. Are you willing to give up bad relationships in order to give God a chance to bring good ones into your life?

After taking some time to reflect upon these things, I encourage you to pray the Stations of the Cross as a resolution and ask God to lead you in the direction of good and healthy relationships and ask for the grace to know if you should be taking action in any particular way to make this happen.

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Author and speaker Lisa Duffy has 20 years of both personal and professional experience in helping others deal with their divorces. Born and raised in Southern California, Lisa suffered through the pain of being a divorced Catholic in the early 1990s. After seven years of intense struggle, spiritual growth, personal triumphs, and finally remarriage in the church and the birth of three miracle children, her one desire was to help others who were suffering find hope and healing. Lisa has worked for the church in a variety of roles, most recently bringing her divorce support program, Journey of Hope, to parishes in the US and Canada. Lisa is a frequent guest on Catholic radio shows such as Relevant Radio's "On Call With Wendy Wiese", "Catholic Answers Live," and has appeared several times on EWTN's "Women of Grace" with Johnnette Benkovic. Lisa lives in South Carolina with her family.

6 Comments

Agreed, good point on being courageous and letting go of things that drag us down and away from our true selves. If we desire the fullness of the Gospel we need to be attractive to not only our future mates but to all and be the best we can be by carrying ourselves with quiet confidence in joy and expectation. Being able to at least know where to go to answer questions of the faith and why you are so grateful/happy or content (the source).

Great article and video Lisa! I’ve had to do this this past year and I have that the stress in my life has been cut WAY down! It’s just so much more spiritually satisfying being in relationships with people who share your values and who are friends you can trust to help you grow in Christ.

I myself had to go through this recently and it was very hard letting go of a very close friend that I thought one day would possibly end up and marriage unfortunately It wasn’t going anywhere after several years and I decided to break away from it. It wasn’t easy but I managed to get through it and then make new friends through church that have brought more enjoyment into my life than I ever thought imaginable . I’m not dating any of us single women I have met but it sure is nice talking with them being they share the same values that I do!

I myself had to go through this recently and it was very hard letting go of a very close friend that I thought one day would possibly end up and marriage unfortunately It wasn’t going anywhere after several years and I decided to break away from it. It wasn’t easy but I managed to get through it and then make new friends through church that have brought more enjoyment into my life than I ever thought imaginable . I’m not dating any of the single women I have met but it sure is nice talking with them being they share the same values that I do!