For your latest installment of the Troubled Hollywood Families Variety Programme, Rumer, Scout and Tallulah (23, 20 and 18 respectively) have cut off all ties from their mom Demi Moore, whose emotional breakdowns in the wake of her split with Ashton Kutcher became too overwhelming for the kids to handle. Since Moore was sent to rehab for huffing, her daughters have had problems of their own: Scout was busted drinking in the Union Square subway station with a fake ID, Tallulah might have topless-pot-smoking pictures floating around. Supposedly the kids' continued relationship with Kutcher has been problematic, and the last straw was when Moore attended Tallulah's high school graduation, alone and sullen, while the girls enjoyed photo opportunities with their cheerier dad Bruce Willis. Oh, and Rumer lost her dog. I hope you find your dog, Rumer. [NYDN, People]

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler uncontrollably pooped in Italy. [People]

I read this headline as "DAVID BECKHAM AND HIS FAMILY FLY OFF FOR SECRET HOL(E)S," and, ummm, maybe they do. [Express]

Benedict Cumberbatch says of "Cumberbitches," his 30,000-strong female Twitter fanbase: "I wish my 15-year-old self had known about my allure to the opposite sex! It's flattering, though I do worry about what it says for feminism, it's quite a perjorative term. 'Cumberbabes' might be better." [The Mirror]