Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Last night I ushered a bee from the world of the living. It was buzzing about my ceiling light, and I desired that it should come away from the light in order that I might trap it between a hard surface and a large book, thereby ending its reign of terror. The question was, how would I lure it away from its

Oh fuck it, enough with the fancy-talk. Here's what happened: I turned on my desk lamp, tilted it up, then turned off the ceiling light. The bee went straight for the lamp and got hurt real bad when it hit the bulb (hot hot hot!). I held a book over the lamp, trapping the bee inside the bell, letting it cook. But I think I felt sorry for it so I took the book away. The bee flew around some more in a punch-drunk way, flopped around on my bed, then finally came to rest on the side of my heat pipe, where I smacked it with the book.

Reader, it did not cream. The bee remained intact and fell to the floor. I was grateful to the little fellow for not messing up my book, so I took great care (okay, a moderate amount of care) when I picked him up with a paper towel and wrapped him in his death shroud.

Must have gotten in through the air conditioning, perhaps looking for shelter from the storm. Sad, really. Bees are in enough trouble as it is.