Wednesday, October 6, 2010

but i'll have to wait till i'm 23 :O not that i mind,it'll be worth the wait ;)

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were olderThen we wouldn't have to wait so longAnd wouldn't it be nice to live togetherIn the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much betterWhen we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake upIn the morning when the day is newAnd after having spent the day togetherHold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spendingI wish that every kiss was neverendingWouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't doWe could be marriedAnd then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be niceYou know it seems the more we talk about itIt only makes it worse to live without itBut lets talk about itWouldn't it be nice"

-Wouldn't It Be Nice by Beach Boys :)))

is it really true that we seem like we're already an item?you can pretty much say so,through the way that we're always possessive of each other,not being able to go through our days without seeing each other,always wanting each other to be happy at all causes,always stalking on each other just to see how we feel on a particular day.doesn't it seem a little strange that we're still not together?this isn't what i think but it's what my friends have been wondering of.

"are you guys an item yet?" "when are you gonna make it official?" or funnier still,"your husband [insert statement]" .haha.seriously,i don't even know what he feels,all i know is how i feel.i do admit that sometimes he's not really my type,with all those advice of his,that nerdiness of his,but somehow all those flaws which i have been dreaded so much all these years had made him a perfect man in my eyes.bizarre?you can say that again.these feelings are suicidal and sometimes i hope that they would just go away.he might just think of me as a bestfriend,it's possible since i recall having tonnes of possessive best friends.yet,i don't think it's fair that we should still remain friends,as much as how fun it has been spending time with him alone.if only i could just say it straight to his face about how i truly feel,it could make a major difference,or won't it?i'm afraid to lose him.sometimes i wish he could just understand without the need of my honesty,and if he doesn't feel the same way,he could just admit it so that the both of us can just go on with our lives.

on a more stressful note,chemistry test sucked,i doubt that i'll ace this time.suicidal..what more can i say?my only hope to excel is the truth that when the graph of the test papers is high,the range of grades will be high too,which means there will be a large tendency to get straight A's.i need that scholarship from PTPTN and some sponsorship from ASTRO to enroll in Lim Kok Wing's University to study software engineering.

well,to be perfectly honest,you can't really get what you want all the time.software engineering is actually my third choice.my largest passion is music followed by audio engineering.unfortunately,Malaysian parents have a really narrow perception about careers relating to art (my relatives to be precise,no offence).if they ever find out that i'm taking science stream at school and then eventually take up music as a course,they'd be furious and they'll start to throw a lot of criticism.the reality of being a Malaysian,not that i'm not proud to be one.it sinks my heart to know that the beauty of music is being underestimated by such mentality.being a youth,i have no choice but to go with the flow.software engineering will be my kickstart of a stable career,and i hope no one will stop me from being a part-time musician since all my musical budget will come from my own salary.wish me luck guys! exhaustion is none of my concern,it's the passion that counts and i don't even care if i don't make it to the level of fame and fortune because that's not what music is all about.it's all for love,L.O.V.E :)

*ohh god,music is actually an optional subject in SPM! and on top of that,it doesn't clash with ANY of my science subjects! should've dropped EST and take music instead.damn..