Winning the Race of Love

Is love not happening fast enough for you? Look ahead at the following checklist to see if your soulmate interest is slowing down your progress in the race to love.

Your love interest doesn't even know you are interested; your hints are not good enough to let this person know how you feel.

Your desired mate will not leave his or her spouse.

Your dating partner says, "Lets see other people."

Your potential mate says that he is just not ready for a relationship.

Your soulmate interest is a workaholic.

Your lover does not make time for you.

Your partner does not communicate well.

Your significant other prefers to hang out with friends versus you.

Your potential soulmate promised to move closer to you, but has not followed through.

Your mate disappears and reappears.

If you recognize your potential partner in any of the above descriptions, how do you speed things up and get love on track?

First of all, be very clear about how you feel. Someone has to do the talking. Playing the hinting or guessing game is not communication. It stops the universe from making any good progress for you.

Respect the other person's own pace. Just because you feel ready, does not mean that the other person should be ready. Trying to speed things up could end in disaster; there is a lesson in being patient.

Accept that it may never become what you want it to be. Look closely at the signs and see if things have a realistic hope of getting better.

Do not play the emotional "me and my feelings" game. Do not accuse your love interest of not caring because he or she is not responding in the way that you wish. If you love this person, you will consider that your potential mate has his or her own feelings and may need more time. It always goes both ways; if you cannot see things from the other person's side, then you are also not ready for a relationship.

Understand that love is not wrapped up in a nice little package. It is emotional and messy. It will show up the way that our spirit needs it to so that we can get spiritually cleaned out.

If you are waiting on something, instead of looking at who or what you are waiting for, look to see what needs to change within yourself. No matter how bad we want something, it does not mean that we are ready for it. Have you healed your past sabotaging beliefs about relationships and love? Are you whole? Do you love yourself? Can you be considerate of others? Can you see the big picture?

We are really waiting on ourselves and not the other person. The other person is a reflection of ourselves.

I remember watching Ellen DeGeneres and her wife, Portia de Rossi, on Oprah. Portia talked about how she was in love with Ellen for three years prior to expressing to Ellen how she felt. She was afraid to come out as a lesbian. With Ellen being out of the closet, Portia had to make peace for herself and be ready to come out. She would see Ellen at Hollywood parties and never say anything. Ellen said that she felt something for Portia but did not know how to communicate it. Ellen started to think that they would never date. It is about four years later and they are now legally married.

The lesson is – nothing happens until both parties are ready. You can't force things to speed up! Ellen and Portia both felt love for each other, but healing had to take place for them to be ready. Now they are happily married. Stop forcing things to happen and look at what you need to heal first. Then the universe will handle the rest for you. And like the story in which the slower, but steadier tortoise wins the race in a contest with the much speedier hare, you will be the winner in the race for love.