The Love/Hate Relationship with our Nations Teenagers

We have a love/hate relationship with teenagers. We love their accomplishments, we are disgusted when they fail. We are simultaneously infatuated and disgusted by teenage sexuality. Gasp, Justin Bieber has a girlfriend! OMG, I can’t believe she might be pregnant. Oh, I’m going to watch 2 hours of TV talking about it and tweet/Facebook about how disgusted I am… gimme, gimme, gimme more news on teenage sexuality! I’m not exaggerating all that much, am I?

A 16 year old wins a gold medal and she’s on The Today Show. That girl is so mature for her age! (Succeeding at sports makes you mature) Her girlfriend, in the same school and grade gets pregnant? Oh, becoming a mother isn’t an accomplishment… that’s a statistic!She is SO STUPID! We might even make her go to a different school.

We (rightfully) decide things have to change when a teenager attempts suicide. But funding the school counselor or making sure her parents insurance covered her treatment before it was a suicide attempt? Well, common logic states, that’s really a parental issue.

This continues on after 18, of course. Those who go to college– well, we give them a pass on being adults because they are students. And students can’t be expected to act like adults because they are students. So we allow college students a pass on being mature. In fact, walk around a college campus and you’ll see that “what’s cool” is to act like a 13 year old, fully fulfilled! (Think about it… a “cool college guy” is loud, obnoxious, gets drunk, sleeps around, avoids responsibility, and doesn’t take school all that seriously. There’s nothing mature about that– but college culture celebrates this as a fully embraces college lifestyle.) But someone doesn’t go to college? Well, they better get a job and fend for themselves. They are an adult now…

So how do we measure maturity?

The point of this post is to point out that our society gives many mixed messages about adolescent maturity. Science and common sense says that maturity isn’t an arbitrary age. It depends on a wide variety of factors. One person becomes and adult at 16 while another might not become an adult until 25.

But we have an arbitrary line. Legally, and to a lesser extent culturally, a person is an adult at age 18.

The Supreme Court has now affirmed that not all teenage criminals are the same, some can get life sentences for their crimes while others can’t, the courts are now allowed to look at other factors besides physical age to judge their ability to understand their crimes. This is a big step.

I suppose I’m wondering when we, those who work with students in schools, churches, and our neighborhoods, will begin to do the same?

One Response to How do you measure teenage maturity?

Great Read Adam. I’ve been thinking about this, especially this morning when I listened on NPR about a teen in Florida who has developed a way for Artificial Intelligence to detect positive or negatives for cancer with a 99 % reliability. I listened to her and how she got interested in Computer Programming, Biology and then learned how to create AI on her own is fascinating. On the other hand, due to various reasons, I’ve worked with young people in moratorium on all types of growth (college is an odd form of that :x…). Not to mention that many people are obsessed with adolescence (see the CW channel) – and we have an odd soup in culture we have to navigate. Good call – and I wonder if we’ll really ever get over the mixed feelings that culture has with teens. Agism can be pretty nasty, and Youth Ministers as bridge builders and realists hopefully can advocate for those young who are doing brilliant things.

About The Author

Adam McLane is a Partner at The Youth Cartel and Principal at McLane Creative.
Kristen and Adam have been married 17 years and live in the San Diego neighborhood of Rolando with their rowdy children, Megan, Paul, and Jackson.

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