In response to yet another leading man in Hollywood calling her an [expletive] idiot, Kim Kardashian responded on Twitter with a (considerably more understated) salvo of her own: "Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, 'stupid,' is in my opinion careless."

Wait, timeout — she writes? Kim Kardashian is a writer? Oh, that's right, I almost forgot about Kardashian Konfidential and Dollhouse, the novel she co-wrote with her sisters. For a second I thought she might have been intimating that she wrote for her reality television show or that she had planned a new erotic fiction quartet in which Jon Hamm figures prominently, hence all the obvious sexual tension between the two right now. Kim added that she respects [Don Draper] very much and that, hey, he's entitled to his opinion because this is America. "We're all working hard," she said, "and we all have to respect each other." What a subtle parting blow, insinuating that she and Jon Hamm share the fraternal bond of entertainers! Stay tuned as this "conflict" fizzles out as the week rolls on... [TMZ]

So, um, it's like this — Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes haven't broken up and as for those rumors that the Gosling had trooped off to South Africa with a German model, they can't be true because the actor was photographed in Bangkok on Thursday. Add to that the fact that Mendes and Gosling have been photographed groping each other in Paris as well as Anaheim and you have all the proof you need that Eva Mendes is actually Carmen San Diego and Ryan Gosling the young gumshoe charged with tracking her all over the world. [US]

Stars of blockbusters-adapted-from-books Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart aren't actually feuding. In fact, after Lawrence emailed her purported rival to clear the air, they might even be besties. Lawrence told Access Hollywood,

I wrote her an email because there was this huge, like, article about a 'Twilight' and 'Hunger Games' feud, and we've never met before and never spoken. There were all these, like, fake quotes from me that were actually hilarious. Some of [the quotes] were from my 'pal' and 'sources.' It was hilarious. When I was reading it, I was cracking up.

Is there a Twilight, Hunger Games crossover in the wind? Don't think about it too much — your head might implode. [HuffPo]

According to Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth is a funny lady: "She is very funny but I think she gets it from my grandfather. They are very funny together. My family is the same as any other family when it comes to humour behind closed doors, though I'd like to think I was funnier than my grandmother." There you have it — a politely understated British compliment. I bet they all gather "behind closed doors" to play Monopoly and the Queen totally assigns herself the role of banker so she can cheat. [E!]

Bethenny Frankel has auditioned for the new Michael Bay movie Pain and Gain, except that if she gets the role, Michael Bay is probably going to have to blow her up somehow. So, as you can imagine, it's really a double-edged sword, but such is the price of Hollywood fame. US]

Supposed recovering alcoholic Charlie Sheen went to a Guns N' Roses concert, appeared to get wasted, and told TMZ camera jockeys that his favorite Roses song is "Mr. Brownstone." Choose your choices, Charlie. [TMZ]

Wildlife activists are angry at Donald Trump's sons Donald Jr. and Eric for going on a big-game hunt in Africa, during which a photograph was snapped of Donald Jr. holding up an elephant's severed tail and smiling. [TMZ]

What do you think Josh Duhamel looks like with a mohawk? Just about the same as every other douche who has a mohawk. [ E!]

A starship carrying Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston has landed in Los Angeles. The couple were all smiles as they disembarked, instructing their earthbound entourage how best to ferry them away from the airport. [E!]

Eva Longoria has injured her foot in a catastrophic dancing accident while filming Desperate Housewives. She has to put ice on it and everything. [E!]

Justin Bieber is the latest victim of a pretty lazy Twitter death hoax. How did the Biebs not die? He didn't cliff dive to a grisly, splattery end in New Zealand. [E!]

Cloyingly self-effacing handsome-guy Jon Hamm doesn't consider himself handsome. "Well, I just don't even consider myself handsome," said Hamm. "When I look in the mirror I see my goofy-assed self from when I was a kid." Dude, stop — just enjoy being the current tentpole of everybody's sex dreams. [NDNY]