I’m stressed and overstrained.
My life exhausts me and I feel like collapsing very soon.
Had a mental breakdown after only two weeks of university.
How am I going to survive four years?!
I feel so incapable of the things I demand from myself.
How could I think I could be a student,
when even checking timetables
and taking trains
and printing stuff
and searching rooms
and buying books is too much for me?!
I feel like I run on empty.
Nothing works.
Cutting pressure is so high,
but no one seems to notice it.

I always tell you that I love you,
’cause I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Sad but true.
He hates talking. Can’t talk on command.
Talking is a annoying obligation to him.
Why should we say anything, if we could kiss aswell?
Oh, fuck it!

“What about the things that remain unsaid?”
“Dunno what you’re talkig about.”
“So, there’s really nothing on your mind all the time? Nothing you want to say, but you can’t?”
“No. Everything’s fine.”

Somehow, I’m living with a mute.
A man made of stone.
I can’t look into his mind, can’t penetrate his thoughts.
He’s a secret ever since we’re together.
I know so little and I want to know him by heart.

There’s silence again.
I come closer.
There’s so much bothering me.
Want to shake him and ask him what he thinks, feels, wants.
But once again all I can say is: I love you.
Just breaking the silence and breaking my heart.