The "results" show was the mixed bag it always is—some of those 70's legends still had it, and some of them didn't. I really enjoyed Siobhan Magnus and Aaron Kelly's "How Deep Is Your Love," and was pleasantly surprised at how good Tim Urban sounded on the dicey Hall and Oates montage. Paige Miles sounded so good you had to wonder how things might've changed had she not gotten sick when she did. Carrie Underwood was amazing and Cristina Aguilera was captivating. It seems like they could've done more with Ricky Gervais, though his appearing live via satellite from a few blocks away was classic.

I wish Dane Cook had just sung his delightful song filled with classic Simon insults, instead of trying to work some stand-up in. The idea of having classic weirdoes join in wasn't bad, but it didn't come off. It happened too quickly to even register who was up there, and naturally one of the narcissists grabbed the mic and ruined things for everyone.

I'm also comically dense about the American Idol finale format - I'm always surprised when people come out - ;even though that's the shtick. The kids sing someone else's song, then they announce that person, that person sings some of the song and then the Idols join in with them. In my defense I really thought Joe Cocker was dead. The biggest surprise came from Bret Michaels, who looked pretty damned good for someone whose brain popped a few weeks ago. Seriously, shouldn't he still be in bed?

In the end, Lee triumphed over Crystal, which wasn't how I wanted it to go, but Idol usually goes my way, so I guess I was due to be unhappy with the results. Not mad, not outraged, just bummed. I'm confident Crystal will have a solid career so it's not devastating. Am I trying to talk myself into that? A little, but I suspected Lee was going to win for a while now - he had more likely voters in his fan base.

Still, the real story of the finale is this was Simon's last episode ever. The show will dearly miss his leadership and his honesty. Randy has actually greatly improved in that department, even though most critics still dismiss him as Mr. Yo Dawg. But Simon, before he started phoning-it-in this season, was always so witty and elaborate in his critiques. He was brutal but also genuinely supportive of genuine talent. It's hard to imagine who FOX will find to match both his verbal dexterity and his authority.

Paula Abdul came to the party, giving Simon a suitably half-sincere, half-awkward send-off, with just a sprinkle of "How do you like me now?!" for everyone at 19 Entertainment. I do kinda miss all her weird-ass non-sequiturs (not to mention the random jewelry) but not enough to want her back, even though Ellen's been merely so-so and Kara is one of the most annoying people to ever walk the earth. Still, they do stay on topic.

I'll admit I did cry when all the former Idols (except David Cook, who was at a charity event) took the stage to thank Cowell with a song, and then the group of memorable non-winners took the stage. Simon graciously thanked the audience for our support and told us not to worry about his replacement because, in reality, we are the judge. Remember when they did The X-Files without Mulder? Yeah, next year's gonna suck.