9 Signs Your Mom’s a Nurse

My Mom is a nurse. She became a nurse when I was four, so I really have no clue what it’s like to be the daughter of a non-nurse Mom. I’m 23 now and in college for…yep, you guessed it, nursing!

Call me crazy and you’d probably be right. But as a kid I spent my time bandaging my dolls and checking their temperatures. I always knew I’d be a nurse because I always wanted to help others. There were certain things my Mother would do that I thought all moms did, but now that I’m in nursing school I realize that my mother is is a nurse through and through.

1. You always had to go to school. You didn’t miss a day of school unless you were at death’s door. I tried faking it once. My Mother took my temperature, asked me a few questions and the next thing I knew, I was yanked out of bed and handed my backpack. Hmmm, how the heck did she know I was faking it? Unless you were bleeding profusely or unconscious, you were going to school.

If you really are sick, and you refuse to take medication, “don’t complain about it.” They don’t wanna hear you whining. Let’s face it, many people think nurses are very caring and compassionate people, and they are. But they see horrific things that everyday people can’t even begin to imagine, so your stubbed toe, won’t ever get an eyebrow lift.

2. Then there’s the fact that you can’t bring anyone over to your house without your Mother embarrassing you, by talking about the most disgusting, vile bodily functions at the dinner table, with absolutely no filter. Needless to say, eventually I chose to eat at my friends house when it was a toss up between my house or hers.

3. If your mother’s a nurse, then you’ve dressed up as a nurse for Halloween. Why? Because she figured it was cute and above all, it was cheap. Heck, she had scrubs, the stethoscope and it would save her a trip to Walmart.

4. Your mother spends half of her waking hours on the phone answering friends questions about the pimples and other unmentionables that “just showed up out of nowhere.” As you become a teenager, your friends begin to ask you, if you could ask your mother if the thick, green mucus coming out of their nose is normal.

5. You do not, I repeat; YOU DO NOT wake your Mother when she is sleeping. They work really weird hours, and unless your life is in serious danger, you don’t wake her, especially when she is sleeping off her third-12-hour shift. If you do, she’ll rise like the chick from the Exorcist, spewing pea soup with her head backward. Not a pretty sight.

6. You will learn all the body parts and medical conditions correctly. One does not have a boo-boo like other kids. Nah, instead we have a contusion, a linear tear with serous fluid. When we’re sick to our stomach, we are nauseous, and when we need to poop, we need a bowel movement. When I needed an appendectomy, I told her I had right lower quadrant pain, and I was only 8-years-old…true story!

7. My Mother’s medicine cabinet is a work of art. I’ve yet to see anything remotely close to how amazing it is. She has everything you could ever need, for any emergency. It’s never unusual to get a flu shot or TB booster in the kitchen

8. With all the gross stuff they come in contact with on a regular basis, you’d think they’d get sick all the time, but they never do. They’re always worried that you’ll get something from them, though. They leave their nasty nursing shoes with the glob of God knows what in the garage and jump in the shower for an hour before they will talk to anyone.

9.Kids have some crazy moments. But nurses see the craziest things you could ever imagine, so a little tantrum by a 5-year-old just doesn’t work. Save your acting skills for your teachers, it won’t work on your mom.

The Author

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