You know you’re a terrible blogger when…

October 18, 2014

Ok, so when I say ‘you know you’re a terrible blogger when….” I mean “I know I’m a terrible blogger because…”. Because I have this constant nagging feeling in my soul that I’m a terrible blogger and I’ve just got to get that out in the open. It’s only fair that you know all the facts before you devote any more of your precious time to reading the ramblings of a sub-par blogger.

So, here goes. You know you’re a terrible blogger when:

1) You start to read Mansfield Park by Jane Austen just to pass the time on the tube and end up getting so involved that it messes with your blogging schedule. Yeah, I have multitudes of half finished ramblings in ‘drafts’ that haven’t seen the light of day because I’ve spent my time fantasising about tasing Mrs Norris. I don’t want her to die and disrupt the story but I would like and electrical current to disrupt her muscle control on occasion.

2) You know when you’re heading out for dinner / lunch / any other food based good time, and you’re really excited because a) you’re getting fed, and b) you’ve got something fun to blog about? Ever go with friends, family or other non bloggers, and get half way through the meal before you realise you haven’t photographed anything? This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I even manage to finish the meal before I realise. Why? Because I’m a sucky, sucky blogger and I love all the food. All of it.

3) Some people have good points to make regarding not swearing on a blog. Keeping PRs and other professional types happy. Well, I’m not a slave to the freebie and I don’t want to live in a blog where nothing rhymes with duck. I’ll just be over here in this little corner of the internet by myself, paying for a sizeable chunk of my blog fodder, thanks.

4) I put things off and put things off and then rearrange them to a later date in the future. So I end up blogging about sandals in October. I’m just a mess.

5) I don’t really have a fifth point because I’m not creative enough to imagine one, yet I won’t just give you 4 points because I’m stubborn and I know 5 sounds better. Recently a friend shared some blog on Facebook called “19 reasons why something or other”. 19! 19! If you had time to think of 19 reasons you could have made something weird up and stuck it in there at number 12 where no one would have minded. Always go for the 20. 19 is just lazy.