Mike D'Antoni Drawing Up Plays To Get Lakers To Like Him

LOS ANGELES—Sources within the Lakers organization confirmed Friday that recently hired head coach Mike D’Antoni has been drawing up plays in a clear attempt to make his new players like him. “World Peace, you’ll run a weave screen for Pau to the inside, and then Pau, you’ll shoot the jumper on the weak-side arc—I mean, unless you don’t want to, because you can take a shot from anywhere and you’ll still make it, because you’re awesome,” D’Antoni said during a team practice, repeatedly stressing that his plays “are only guidelines” and players should “feel free to improvise out there.” “When we’re not in possession, Dwight, I want you in the paint, blocking the lane and getting rebounds, because you’re the best defender in the league, and, wow, just watching you play is an honor. And Kobe, you can hover around the perimeter on offense and, anytime you see an opening, just raise your hand and someone will get you the ball. There’s no need to draw up plays for you—if anything, you should be giving me notes, right?” Following the practice, locker room sources reported that every player on the Lakers already hates D’Antoni.