Sunday, July 29, 2007

How to Know If You Are In Love

What, then, is this elusive thing called love that everyone so desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl because she is beautiful ? Or the girl likes him because he is handsome? But this kind of "Cinderella Syndrome" when the girl is waiting on her Prince Charming, is not real love. It is better known as "infatuation", and there is a vast difference between it and real love. Here, we help you to differentiate and find out if you are really in love and not just infatuation.

Infatuation

Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love. Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction; often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless . Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the "feeling" than it is in the other person. Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person. Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.

Love

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love.

Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfillment of expectations. When you have diffculty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding. Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties. Love is Kind. Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others.. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

You can do the following:

Give one another things such as gifts and encouragment cards.

Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

Love is Not JealousJealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

Love is Not BragLove is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

Love is Not ArrogantLove is not conceited, boastful, cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

Love always coversThis word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't critcise and broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

Love always Perseveres Love always stands its ground and holds out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unreturned love.Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

Love is Not ProvokedThis means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love does not seek its own This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self-centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

Love does not act unbecominglyThis means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl,or offering her your arm when you walk together.

Love is forgivingLastly, this is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn't remain resentful. Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my “life”.

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’vesobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.