AN DEM BIER aka How Much Beer Has He Been Drinking (Melody – Ode to Joy/Composed by Splat, East Bay HHH )

How much beer has he/she/they been drinking?

He/she/they is(are) looking really lit.

As we sing here aren't we thinking,

"Do we really give a shit?"

Who's this wanker, so unseemly,

That his/her/their mom would surely frown?

Grab that beer and hold it firmly,

Drink it, drink it, down down down!

Variation if its a down down for stoners: (Written by Ska-Skank Redemption)

How much weed have they been smoking

they are looking mighty high

As they stand there happily toking

becoming more red in the eye

Who's that stoner puffing doobies

He ate all the fucking pie

Grab your bowl and hold it firmly

Smoke it til your mouth is dry

She's All Right

She's All Right

She's All Right

She's a little flat chested, but

She's All Right

Dinah, Won't You Blow Me? (To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad")

Dinah, won't you blow me, Dinah, won't you blow me

Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?

Dinah, won't you blow me, Dinah, won't you blow me

Dinah, won't you blow my horn?

Someone's in my sister's vagina

Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww

Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah

Pumping like a dynamo

Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo

FACE DOWN ASS UP

HEINEKEN, SCHMEINEKEN (Chant)

Heineken, schmeineken,

Fuck that shit!

Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon!

HE'S THE MEANEST

He's the meanest

He sucks the horse's penis

He's the meanest

He's the horse's ass

Ever since he found it (hey!)

All he does is pound it (hey!)

He's the meanest

He's the horse's ass

So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug

Drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug

HE OUGHTA BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON

He oughta be publicly pissed on

He oughta be publicly shot (bang bang)

He oughta be tied to a urinal

And left there to fester and rot

HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER

Here's to Brother Hasher

Brother hasher, brother hasher

Here's to Brother Hasher

May he chug-a-lug

He's happy, he's jolly

He's fucked up, by golly

Here's to Brother Hasher

May he chug-a-lug

So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker

Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker

Here's to Brother Hasher

May he chug-a-lug

HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND, MRS. MURPHY

Hold it in your hand, Mrs. Murphy

It only weighs a quarter of a pound

It's got hair round its neck like a turkey

And it spits when you jerk it up and down, down, down, down....

HOT VAGINA (Melody: The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You)

Hot vagina for your breakfast

Hot vagina for your lunch

Hot vagina for your dinner

Just munch munch munch munch munch

It's so tasty and delicious

Bite size and ready to eat

So grab your chick

Give her a lick

Hot vagina can't be beat!

IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A PENIS HE COULD THINK (Melody ?/Composed by Captain Jack Swallows, San Diego HHH)

If he didn't have a penis he could think.

If he didn't have a penis he could think.

If he didn't have a penis, he would be a fucking genius

If he didn't have a penis he could think

Alternate version for harriets:

If she only had a penis he could think.

If she only had a penis he could think.

If she only had a penis, she would be a fucking genius

If she only had a penis he could think

IT’S A SMALL DICK (Melody - It's a Small World/Contributed by Hazukashii)

Well it isn't long and it isn't thick,

It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,

It gets lost in her twat,

But it's all that he's got,

It's a small, small, dick.

It's a small dick after all,

It's a small dick after all,

Always limp from alcohol,

It's a small, small, dick!

LOVE ME TENDER (Melody - Love Me Tender/By Nipple Me Elmo)

Love me tender, love me sweet

Wrap your lips around my meat

Watch me smile and watch me grin

As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . . .

MY ASSHOLE IS SORE (Melody "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean")

My asshole is sore from your fucking

My asshole is sore from your dick

My asshole is sore from your raming

So give it a rest, you prick, you prick, you prick

MY VAGINA HURTS (Melody: Oh my darlin Clementine)

My vagina, my vagina, my vagina really hurts

I would rather have

A sore vagina

Than a face that

Looks like yours

HIS ONE SKIN HANGS DOWN (To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean")

His one skin hangs down to his two skin

His two skin hangs down to his three

His three skin hangs down to his fore skin

His fore skin hangs down to his knees

Roll back, roll back

Roll back his foreskin for him, for him

Roll back, roll back

Roll back his foreskin for him

MEET THE HASHERS (Melody "The Flintstones")

Hashers, meet the hashers

We're the biggest drunks in history

From San Francisco (or Town of Frisco*)

We are leaders in debauchery

Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years

Watch us, as we down a lot of beers

Down down, down down down down,

Down down down down down down down down

Down down down down down

Down down down down down down

SAN FRANCISCO SUCK MY BALLS (Melody "Its a Small World")

It's cold and it's damp and it's lib-er-alThe schools all suck and the jails are fullThe earthquake is nearYet it's Bush that they fearSan Francisco suck my balls (repeat 3x)

You can suck me off (with emphasis on the last three words)

(Additional verse written by Lost In Foreskin)

For the guys are gay and the girls are hot,

oh wait is that a chick oh shit its not

for all the girls are manly

and all the guys are tranny's

San Francisco suck my balls (repeat 3x)

You can suck me off (with emphasis on the last three words)

SKEETER SONG

There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it offThere's another on my brother, whack it offThere's a dozen on my cousinYou can hear the bastards buzzin',There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off.

WANKERS AWAY (Melody "Anchors Aweigh")

Wankers away, my friend, wankers away

We love to hash all night and hash all of the very next day

'Cuz hashing is better than a pocket full of gold

We love to hash because it never gets old ...

WHEN IT'S INCENT TIME IN TEXAS (Melody "The Yellow Rose of Texas")

When it's incest time in TexasAnd there's no cunt to be foundYour mother's in the outhouseWith her panties halfway downNo time for masturbationNo time to beat your meatWhen it's incest time in Texas Mother-fucking can't be beat!

WHIP IT OUT AT THE BALL GAME (Melody:To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game")

Whip it out at the ball game

Wave it round at the crowd

Dip it in peanuts and cracker jack

If you like you can give it a whack

'Cause it's beat your meat at the ball game

If you don't come it's a shame

For it's one, two, you've covered in goo

At the old ball game

Songs For Special Occasions

BIRTHDAY SONG (Melody - Happy Birthday to You )

Happy birthday, fuck you,

Happy birthday, fuck you,

Happy birthday, you asshole,

Happy birthday, fuck you.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Usually sung when somone is bragging or making up a story:

BULLSHIT

Bullshit, bullshit,It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me.Bullshit, bullshit,It all sounds like bullshit to me.

(optional addition)

Someone's in my sister's vagina

Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww

Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah

Pumping like a dynamo

Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo

Usually sung when naming a hasher:

HERE'S TO (Insert Hash Name)

Here's to (Insert Hash Name),

He's true blue, He's a Hasher,

Through and through,

He's a pisspot,

So they say,

Tried to go to heaven,

But he went the other way,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

Songs for returners:

WHERE, OH WHERE, WERE YOU LAST WEEK? (To the tune of that song from "Hee-Haw")Where, oh where, were you last week?Why did you make us hash all alone You fat lazy bastard, you weren't even here So we drank all the virgins and fucked all the beerDown, down, drink it all downDrink it all down, drink all of that beer

Songs for the hares:

SHITTY TRAIL

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (It sucked!),Shitty trail (It really sucked!),

THE MOTHERFUCKERS LAID A SHITTY TRAIL!

I would rather stay here and drink my beer than r*n your shitty trail.S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

SHITTY HARE (To the Tune of Living on a Prayer/Written by Krusty the Meat Miser) Notes: Sung to hares for shit-tastic trails. Often only section in BOLD is sung

You should’ve used more flour or chalkWe followed your marksThey said “You’ve been fucked”It suckedIt sucked

We wanted to drink Magic HatBut lost on your trailWe’d have settled for PabstYou suckYou suck

You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve gotIt doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shotThis is for the tit checks you forgot… on trail… (NOTE: Show tits)You’re drinking a lot!

Ohhh, there was no beer out thereOhhh oh, you’re a shitty hareTake some flour, and use it on trailOhhh oh, you’re a shitty hareYou’re a shitty hare! (NOTE: Simulate 80s hair band awesomeness)

HEY HARES (Melody 'Hey Jude' by The Beatles)Hey haresYour trail was shitYou got the pack lostNow go and find themRemember to use flour and chalkAnd your next trailWill be much better better better better better better yeahDown down down down down down, down down down, shitty hares

Long Group Songs

YOGI BEAR SONG (Melody ‘Camptown Races’)There is a bear in the deep dark woods,Yogi, Yogi,There is a bear in the deep dark woods,Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a girlfriend, Cyndi, CyndiCyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, GrizzlyCyndi wears crotchless undies, Teddy, TeddyCyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, PolarCyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, PregnantCyndi likes it up the rear, Dirty, DirtyCyndi's tampon has no string, Cotton, CottonYogi didn't use a condom, Daddy, DaddyBoo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, KoalaBoo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Cindy's a lucky bearBoo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bearBoo-Boo likes it up the butt, Yogi's a lucky bearYogi’s girlfriend has no teeth, Gummi, GummiYogi didn't wipe his butt, Brown, BrownYogi’s in the NRA, Right to, Right toYogi uses Afro-Sheen, Black, BlackYogi got a case of crabs, Itchy, ItchyBoo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, WankerYogi also likes young boys, Poofter, PoofterThis song has gone on way too long, More than, More than (I can bear)

I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO (Melody 'The Bear Went Over The Mountain)CHORUS:I used to work in Chicago,In a department store,I used to work in Chicago,I don’t work there any more.

Optional Verses: A lady came in for some carpet, Some carpet from the store, Carpet she wanted, Laid she got, I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for some nails, Some nails from the store, Nails she wanted, Screwed she got, I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a balloon, A balloon from the store, Balloon he wanted, Blown he got, I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a lollipop, A lollipop from the store, A sucker he wanted, Sucked he got, I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for drain cleaner, Drain cleaner from the store, Drano she wanted, Clean pipes she got, I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a pony, A pony from the store, Horse she wanted, Ridden she got, I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for some wheels, Some wheels from the store, Wheels he wanted, Rimmed he got, I don’t work there any more.

A woman came in for a doughnut, A doughnut from the store, Glazed she wanted, Creme-filled she got, I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a throw rug, A throw rug from the store, Rug she wanted, Rug-burned she got, I don’t work there any more.