So you want to speak lolcat? It isn't very easy and you may end up with some kitty scratches in the end. The purpose of this page is to offer help on proper lolcat syntax and grammar. Don't worry if you don't get it at first. It takes some practice but in the end you'll end up with proper lolcat that is both cute and funny.

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FAIL

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This isn't fully written though. I shall be doing that soon. For now, if you really want a crash course go to [http://www.icanhascheezburger.com icanhascheezburger] and read the comments there. These are the experts. Yes, really.

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Here we go!

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===General Spelling Rule: Homonymous Misspellings===

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While some of the rules about spelling pertain to common typing errors, baby-talk, kindergarten misspellings and community-specific mannerisms found on online message boards, the important skill is to learn when using lolspeak is how to borrow the spelling of certain parts of one word to misspell another word that shares certain phonetic sounds (or that just rhymes).

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You can mix them around like this:

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*ghost -> goast or ghoast (borrowing from "toast" or "coast")

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*feet -> feat (borrowing from "meat" or "heat")

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*moan -> mown (borrowing from "own" or "mow")

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*crowd -> croud (borrowing from "cloud" or "found")

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*nothing -> nuthing (borrowing from the typical sound of the letter "u" as in "umbrella" or "hut")

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This works best when borrowing from real English words and just replacing/adding (clusters of) consonants. However, it's also sometimes important to avoid instances where the misspelling of one word would produce the correct spelling of another word. (i.e. "crowd" and "crowed").

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In effect, the words in question could come out (theoretically) as still sounding the same when read, but looking quite off... under a humorous premise that cats use very simple logic in spelling: 1 phonetic sound, 1 spelling (which is actually true for many languages).

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===mai mispelins, lemme show yu dem===

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In lolcat speak, a lot of words are misspelled. Think baby talk, but with a cat flair. This is probably one of the hardest parts to get down correctly. Below are some common misspelling patterns.

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"eye" sounds are almost always rendered into ai, unless it just doesn't fit into the word. Most words that end in the "eye" sound can benefit from this set up. However, it appears that "ight" configurations don't benefit from using ai. Instead, change "ight" to "iet".

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*Hi -> hai

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*I -> ai

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Words that end in a silent "e" that have a consonant before often exchange the two last letters. However, it works better for some words than for others, so some discretion is advisable.

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*kite -> kiet

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*like -> liek

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*come -> coem

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*came -> caem

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*bake -> baek

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*plate -> plaet

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A good exception to this rule is "dude" which is rendered into "dood" or "d00d".

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Another note of interest are words that end in "er". Either you'll end up dropping the "e", replacing it with "u", or changing the ending to "ah". Both ways are acceptable.

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*over -> ovah, ovur, ovr

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*hover -> hovah, hovr

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*peeker -> peekah, peekr

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Diphthongs (multiple vowel sounds in one syllable) are often exaggerated or misplaced

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*Baby -> baybeh

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*Youtube -> Yewtoob, Yewtewb, Yootoob

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*loud -> lowd

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*couch -> cowch

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Words that end in -y are often instead written to end in -eh.

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*kitty -> kitteh or kittah

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*funny -> funneh

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*baby -> baybeh, behbeh

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"Th" sounds are usually replaced with "f", but can occasionally be replaced with "tt" or "dd". Rarely will the "th" be kept.

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*Nothing -> Nofin, nuttin, etc

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*Three -> tree, free, fwee, twee

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*With -> wif

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An "s" (or an occasional "z") may be affixed to nouns of a certain magnitude of importance (perhaps to express a cat's misunderstanding of an important thing of which only 1 exists). This works excellently with the "th" rule above. (borrowing from popular usage in "internets/interwebs")

Latest revision as of 07:18, 18 December 2011

Contents

Oh hai thare

So you want to speak lolcat? It isn't very easy and you may end up with some kitty scratches in the end. The purpose of this page is to offer help on proper lolcat syntax and grammar. Don't worry if you don't get it at first. It takes some practice but in the end you'll end up with proper lolcat that is both cute and funny.

This isn't fully written though. I shall be doing that soon. For now, if you really want a crash course go to icanhascheezburger and read the comments there. These are the experts. Yes, really.

Here we go!

General Spelling Rule: Homonymous Misspellings

While some of the rules about spelling pertain to common typing errors, baby-talk, kindergarten misspellings and community-specific mannerisms found on online message boards, the important skill is to learn when using lolspeak is how to borrow the spelling of certain parts of one word to misspell another word that shares certain phonetic sounds (or that just rhymes).

You can mix them around like this:

ghost -> goast or ghoast (borrowing from "toast" or "coast")

feet -> feat (borrowing from "meat" or "heat")

moan -> mown (borrowing from "own" or "mow")

crowd -> croud (borrowing from "cloud" or "found")

nothing -> nuthing (borrowing from the typical sound of the letter "u" as in "umbrella" or "hut")

This works best when borrowing from real English words and just replacing/adding (clusters of) consonants. However, it's also sometimes important to avoid instances where the misspelling of one word would produce the correct spelling of another word. (i.e. "crowd" and "crowed").

In effect, the words in question could come out (theoretically) as still sounding the same when read, but looking quite off... under a humorous premise that cats use very simple logic in spelling: 1 phonetic sound, 1 spelling (which is actually true for many languages).

mai mispelins, lemme show yu dem

In lolcat speak, a lot of words are misspelled. Think baby talk, but with a cat flair. This is probably one of the hardest parts to get down correctly. Below are some common misspelling patterns.

"eye" sounds are almost always rendered into ai, unless it just doesn't fit into the word. Most words that end in the "eye" sound can benefit from this set up. However, it appears that "ight" configurations don't benefit from using ai. Instead, change "ight" to "iet".

Hi -> hai

I -> ai

Words that end in a silent "e" that have a consonant before often exchange the two last letters. However, it works better for some words than for others, so some discretion is advisable.

kite -> kiet

like -> liek

come -> coem

came -> caem

bake -> baek

plate -> plaet

A good exception to this rule is "dude" which is rendered into "dood" or "d00d".

Another note of interest are words that end in "er". Either you'll end up dropping the "e", replacing it with "u", or changing the ending to "ah". Both ways are acceptable.

over -> ovah, ovur, ovr

hover -> hovah, hovr

peeker -> peekah, peekr

Diphthongs (multiple vowel sounds in one syllable) are often exaggerated or misplaced

Baby -> baybeh

Youtube -> Yewtoob, Yewtewb, Yootoob

loud -> lowd

couch -> cowch

Words that end in -y are often instead written to end in -eh.

kitty -> kitteh or kittah

funny -> funneh

baby -> baybeh, behbeh

"Th" sounds are usually replaced with "f", but can occasionally be replaced with "tt" or "dd". Rarely will the "th" be kept.

Nothing -> Nofin, nuttin, etc

Three -> tree, free, fwee, twee

With -> wif

An "s" (or an occasional "z") may be affixed to nouns of a certain magnitude of importance (perhaps to express a cat's misunderstanding of an important thing of which only 1 exists). This works excellently with the "th" rule above. (borrowing from popular usage in "internets/interwebs")