May 2015 Issue of the Clinton Township Newsletter

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CLINTON TOWNSHIP Newsletter
®
–Julie Fl�nn
"Sponge Bath"
b y R u t h K e e s i n g
EDITOR'S COLUMN
b y J u l i e F ly n n
I used to be pretty much an expert on
raising children. That is, until I gave
birth to my own – at which point I felt like
a complete novice, and I've been trying
to figure it out ever since. In this month
of Mother's Day, I can't help but reflect
on these past two decades of being a mom.
Though we still have our baby at home (and I'll
always call him that) — the baby is, at 15, almost
a man and I really feel like we're in a new chapter.
I now melt when I hear a small child's voice in a store
saying, "Mommy! Look at this! Isn't this beautiful?!!" I look
over and it's some sparkly item that the child is showing the mom
(or dad), then I look at the parent and they're usually dead-tired. You can
just tell they're busily going through their mental to-do list. I want to say:
"Appreciate this time! It goes by so quickly!," but usually I just keep quiet. As a
young mom, I was often told the same thing, but I was usually too exhausted
to fully appreciate those toddler years. Sigh… So, for you new parents out
there, here are a couple of things I've figured out since becoming a mom:
• Parenting truly is a monkey - see, monkey - do proposition. As much as we
say to them "Do as I say, not as I do." they will do as we do. So, be careful about
everything you say and do in front of your kids. Easy, right? Ha. No pressure.
• Remember, we're not only "raising kids", we're raising adults. I try to
remember the bigger picture – for example, when my two-year old(s) said "no"
they were practicing for the teen years and beyond. "No" is a very good word.
• I tell my kids to try to treat everyone with respect and expect respect in
return. Importantly, if we treat our kids with the respect they deserve as the
pre-adults that they are, (hopefully) they will treat others with respect as well.
• There's no need for perfect-y homework. My kids' teachers were happy to
see my childrens' actual work, mistakes and all. We help our kids if they need
it, but we let them know that their homework is their responsibility, not ours.
• When I worked outside of the home, I always made sure my employer
knew I needed flexibility. Trust me, I needed it.
• When I stayed at home with the kids, make no mistake, I was working,
even though I wasn't compensated for it monetarily.
• I've kept in mind a plan for the next chapter because, if all goes well,
eventually my kids will not need me (as much). Volunteer work, part-time
or full-time work, hobbies – you might want to consider some or all of these.
• As cool as I might have ever thought I was (truth be told, I wasn't), my
teenagers find me very un-cool. Trust me on this. Absolutely every parent
of teens I know tells me this exact thing, and these parents were all very cool
back-in-the-day. You will never convince their teenagers of this fact, however.
• When my children were small, I tried to catch them in the act of doing
the "right" thing(s), and then I told them I was proud of them for it.
Positive feedback is powerful. It might feel goofy, but it works... and it's more
effective than reprimanding them for doing the "wrong" things.
• Unconditional love goes a long way. In my opinion, when kids know
that they're really loved – no matter what – by their parents, grandparents
and/or mentors, they develop a thicker skin, which helps them navigate the
sometimes psychologically rough terrain of the playground, school hallways
and the world at large. If you received lots of love as a child, I bet you're
grateful you did. Pass it on.
I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day – enjoy!
Don't you usually envision a
sponge bath to be a quick wipe
and swipe of one's body because
there's no time for a shower or the
power is out and there's no hot water
for a proper tub bath? Not necessarily
so. I recently received a "sponge bath"
as a gift and it is a bath for sponges. I kid
you not! Regrettably I had actually asked for
this stupid thing after having seen it advertised in
a women's magazine. The "quick setup" directions were
so complicated I was unable to assemble it without help from
my granddaughter's boyfriend. Here is a list of the contents of the packing
box: tub, paddles, cap, LED light, counter stand, sink bracket, wire support
frame, suction cups, 2 screws (but no screwdriver), 4 wooden screws and a
sponge. All this to clean a d---sponge!
Before Andrew began the agonizing process of preparing this gadget for use I
noted the cautionary notices. Avoid eye contact. Keep out of reach of children
and pets. If swallowed, contact a poison control center (800-222-1222) or a
doctor immediately. Do not re-use cleaning solution. (Buy plenty of refills.)
Dispose in receptacle out of reach of children and pets. Not for Personal Use.
Luckily there are no children or pets at 29 Charlotte Drive but if a person isn't
supposed to use this annoying product, who is? No idiot is going to mistake
the slot as a receptacle for any part of a human body. A slice of whole wheat
would fit nicely, but it isn't a toaster, unfortunately. Oh yes, the instructions
were in French and Spanish as if English wasn't bad enough.
There are 10 separate steps in the "getting started" menu. However, before
step one you are supposed to rinse your sponge of all soap, cleansers or
solids before placing in Sponge Bath. In other words, by the time you
prepare the sponge for its dip in a "poisonous solution" you've already
done a pretty fair cleaning job. Once you engage the paddles and squeeze
your sponge it will be ready for several more steps. You press a LED
button which will turn off for 30 days and blink
when its time is up. By day 29 I'd be frothing
in anticipation. The Kennedy Space Center
doesn't spend as much time getting a rocket
ready for takeoff.
My daughter suggested just buying a year's worth
of new sponges and tossing the Sponge Bath in a
nearby garbage can. It may come to that. Even
my life expectancy is more favorable than
that of this ridiculous contraption. I know
companies that manufacture products for
"personal use" are scared to death they
will be sued by some dumb consumer who
spills a cup of hot Starbucks coffee in his
or her lap.
Therefore they go overboard
on warnings. But Sponge Bath takes the
cake. Actually it "takes" a gullible buyer.
Of which I am one.
You can't win them all!
H
appy
M
oths'
D
ay!
Since 1982
May 2015
Jie Fly,
Edit
"God could not be everywhere,
and therefore he made mothers."
~ Rudyard Kipling