This is Ian Smith. You see, Mr. Smith is president of the Oakland Zoo, which is apparently a good thing at Pitt. He was also revealed as a 22 year old virgin masquerading as a shit-talking badass last November. Well, a lot has happened between that first profile and today, so we figured we’d sit down and get to know Ian Smith just a little better. Today, we’ll hear the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

Thanks for sitting down with us today, Ian.

Not a problem, Charley. Wow, you look a lot like Brad Pitt.

Yeah, I get that a lot. Moving on. So, Ian, how often do you masturbate?