Kate Upton and Arnold Palmer grace the cover of the December Golf Digest, because they’re two of the most important people in the history of the sport. Palmer, of course, is arguably the greatest golfer to ever live, and I once heard a story about him in a hotel room full of prostitutes in Las Vegas that, true or not, makes me appreciate and admire the guy more than any other professional athlete in history. Not that I condone paying for sex, but you don’t ever hear awesome rock star stories about golfers. And no, Tiger Woods doesn’t count, because he had a hot wife and cheated on her with a Perkins waitress.

And Upton is important to golf because I sometimes like to hope that when the cart girl is approaching me while I’m playing golf, it might be Kate Upton and she’ll be like, “You’re the best golfer ever” and then a guy will walk up and say, “I can marry you two right now” and then I’ll end up sleeping on the couch tonight.