Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
by34TH STREET

5 Types of Naps You Take During the Summer

Because summer naps are very different than mid-semester procrastination naps.

1. The “I only survived finals week because I drank three cups of coffee a day” nap. This is one of the first naps that you take over the summer. It is the longest and the hardest to wake up from. You don’t need a nap. You need a week of sleep, but you’ll have to settle.

2. The “I didn’t mean to take a nap but I fell asleep watching Netflix” nap. It’s not the most restful sleep you’ll have and you’ll probably wake up in a groggy daze, but at least you get to sleep.

3. The “I’m sorry I didn’t see your text I was asleep” nap. This nap usually consists of you sitting on your couch enjoying ice cream and air conditioning and lying to someone about something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

4. The “what the hell else am I supposed to do” nap. Temperatures have soared far above 90, your makeup is dripping off of your face, your deodorant has failed you, your hair is a frizzy, tangled mess causing sweat to run in rivers down your neck and back and you can’t be seen in public.

5. The “are we there yet?” nap. This is the nap that you take when you’re travelling and have no data left. It usually ends with you feeling cramped and uncomfortable. You’re always extremely relieved when you wake up having reached your destination.

Comments

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.