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A kindergarten teacher tells all her students that she is American
She asks her students if any of them are American.
The students, wanting to be like their teacher, raised their hands.
Only one didn't.
Her name was Kristen.
"Why aren't you American?" the teacher asked.
"I'm a proud Canadian", Kristen replied.
"Why?", asked the teacher.
"Because my mommy and daddy are Canadian."
"If your parents were idiots, what would you be?", the teacher angrily replied.
"Then", said Kristen with a smile, "i'd be American".

Here is one :
Pessimist looking at glass of water: It's half empty
Optimist looking at glass of water: It's half full
Chemist looking at glass of water: It's full. Half in liquid state and half in gaseous state.

Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

chuck norris doesnt dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

when chuck norris jumps into a lake he doesnt get wet, the lake gets chuck norrised.

#AlphaSapphire

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
If you have a question about my religion, or wish to discuss my religion, the Bible, or anything related to this topic, feel free to PM or VM me, take a look at the information in my profile or visit our official website.

"Prof. Oak: You have worked hard to become the new League Champion.
Red: Hell yeah i did. I had to listen to a *** saying he likes effin' SHORTS. I had to rub the back of a seasick captain. I had to put an effin' Marowak's spirit to rest. And I had to put up with the **** your stupid grandson kept saying to me like "Hey loser!" or "Smell Ya Later". Just to figure out HE was﻿ the Champion. Yeah thanks, Oak. >
Prof. Oak: ....Ooook? o_0", from Luigifan1 on YouTube. Keep the jokes relevant.