Stand-up comedian, Bethel Njoku, popularly known as Senator, and his wife, Kemen, an entrepreneur, tell ARUKAINO UMUKORO about their five-year marriage

How did you meet?

Senator: My wife is a younger sister of my classmate in primary school. I have always known the family, but we (my wife and I) were not close until I relocated to Lagos. She studied at the Lagos State University. She is a French graduate. We dated for five years before we got married. We have known each other for 10 years now.

Kemen: He studied Theatre Arts in Jos and he was my brother’s course mate and friend. We knew each other way back then. We met again when I was at the French village in Badagry, Lagos. He and his friends came for a programme. We exchanged telephone numbers from there and kept in touch.

How did you propose to your wife?

Senator: I proposed to her on the day she was passing out from the National Youth Service Corps scheme. She said yes immediately, of course; we have known each other for five years prior to that. There was nothing elaborate in my proposal. I just spoke to a friend of mine to accompany me on that day. We bought a cake and put the ring hidden in what looked like a rose flower stuck to the cake. At first she didn’t know what it was until she came closer and saw it wasn’t a rose flower but an ‘attachment.’ When she opened it, she started crying.

How did you feel when he made the proposal?

Kemen: I was happy even though I knew he had something up his sleeves during my passing out after the NYSC programme ended. I couldn’t, however, figure out what it was exactly. It didn’t click. But I was happy. We had known each other for a long time and we were more like best friends already. He knew so much about me even more than my sisters at a point. I knew I was getting married to my best friend.

What attracted you to her in the first place?

Senator: She is beautiful, pleasant, respectful, very industrious and purpose-driven. She connects with me more than any other person.

Kemen: He is easy to communicate with. He is loving, understanding and hard-working among other good qualities. I married my best friend.

How would you describe your marital journey after five years?

Senator: Funny enough, I sometimes lose track of the number of years. She is the one that reminds me. For me, it’s like living with one’s close sibling or family member. It’s been a wonderful journey. Compatibility is very important in marriage. It is important to marry someone one is compatible with, one that complements one. At certain times, it’s not all about love. Even when that love is not really there, one can always fall back on the friendship which will still be there. If one can’t find it (friendship), then one is not compatible with that person.

Kemen: It’s been a beautiful journey but I think just like any other marriage, it has its challenges. Sometimes, there are a few arguments but we always resolve them. We have learnt to understand each other better and spend more time together. Friendship, love, mutual respect and understanding each other are key ingredients of a successful marriage. Also, it is important to be prayerful as partners.

How often do you have arguments?

Senator: It is not that often.

Kemen: Not too often, but when it happens, we resolve it quickly because we understand each other.

Who apologises first when you have disagreements?

Senator: My wife apologises first. The truth is that there is no marriage that does not have disagreements sometimes.

Kemen: I am the one who apologises first all the time even if I was not the one at fault. I do that for the sake of peace (laughs).

How do you cope with female fans?

Senator: They will always be there. Female fans help to increase our fan base more than the male fans. But at the same time, one should be able to separate one’s public life from one’s personal life. Fans should also understand that there are certain levels they should not go. I have also learnt how to handle them with wisdom.

Kemen: I just cope with them. Sometimes, I go on Instagram to see the comments from his female fans. But basically, I don’t do anything about them. When I got married, it was something we had already discussed and agreed upon. I close my eyes to such things. I only advise him to be careful.

Why do you think many celebrity marriages crash?

Senator: One question people need to ask themselves is ‘am I getting married to the person because I want to have a fairy tale wedding?’ Besides, some people invest so much in weddings but not on marriages. Wedding is a one-day event, a one-day of show-off. The real deal is the marriage which is meant to be forever. Beyond the wedding, there is a life to live after. Social media, in itself, isn’t bad but family and marriages are more important. Marriage is an institution. While it is nice to want to celebrate one’s spouse or something in one’s marriage on social media, one should not make it the centre of one’s marriage, so much that almost everything about one’s marriage, good or bad, goes to social media. People misinterpret things a lot on social media. The moment one starts to involve so many people into one’s marital activities, like putting it on social media, one is courting trouble because everybody wants to know what happens afterwards. Any little thing one does, one wants to put it on social media and the day one doesn’t put anything, people start asking questions whether the couples are quarrelling or having issues.

Kemen: I think social media is one of the major issues affecting marriages. Also, some celebrities like to marry celebrities; I think that is also a major issue because they don’t consider other aspects. I feel putting one’s marriage in public space should be done moderately.

Do you have a joint account?

Senator: Yes, we do.

Kemen: Yes, we operate a joint account now.

Do you have pet names for each other?

Senator: Yes, I call her ‘babe.’

Kemen: I call him ‘babe’ too.

How do you unwind as a couple?

Senator: We go to the movies, club or we just spend time together at home, especially now that we have a son. One needs to sacrifice for the love of the family.

Kemen: We go out, watch movies or attend events together. But with our son in the picture now, we spend more time together indoors.

Can you describe one memorable event during your marriage?

Senator: A memorable event was when my wife gave birth to our son in the United States. It was a joyous occasion. Also, our second year anniversary was memorable.

Kemen: Which should I pick? I would say the wedding; first of all, it was one of the most memorable events for me.

How do you cope being married to a celebrity?

Kemen: To be honest, it is not easy, especially with his schedules. Sometimes, he comes home late because most of the shows/events he comperes are at odd hours like 1am, 2am. There are times when there are important events and we can’t attend together. But at the end of the day, that is what puts food on the table hence one has to cope with it.

Do you allow third parties to settle your disputes?

Senator: No.

Kemen: No, we don’t. Whatever happens in the house (between us) ends in the house.

Do you help with the house chores?

Senator: Yes, I do. We don’t have a housemaid. She does the ones she can do, while I also do the ones I can to help out.

Kemen: He helps out with the domestic chores.

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Won tun lo jeba ati eja abi? Punch dont get it twisted o, d affiliation of those pple goes beyond being PDP members. They av been practicing it even b4 democracy came o. They are some old women who go there to eat eba n get N50, maybe they get more than N50 now im not sure. And i dont know wen they started calling that place PDP Charity house, it is called Ile loke pls. Its only un4tunate those pple dont learn, dis isnt d first time such is happening. Sha, may their souls Rest In Peace

Oluwarotimi Awoyale

ILE LOKE,THAT IS TRUE RIGHT FROM THE ERA OF OLUSOLA SARAKI!NOTHING BUT EXHIBITION OF POVERTY LEVEL IN NIGERIA.IT IS A PITY,OUR LEADERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SHAMEFUL DESPITE THEIR POLITICAL PROPAGANDA OF POVERTY ALLEVIATION PROGRAMME THAT HAS NO REASONABLE IMPACT ON CITIZENRY IN GEJ TRANSFORMATION AGENDA!MAY THEIR SOULS R.I.P.P.!

ppororo

All the way from Ilorin to go chop “sara” for Ilofa.
Lazy motherfuckers.

Sunbare

Ilofa road is different from Iloffa town near Odoowa; Ilofa road is the residence of Oloye in Ilorin.

bimbo

Poverty nothing more

jman

Just because of food hahaha na wa

Bodunde

This has been happening for too long. I have witnessed this on my way from school in the late 70s. By now, the Sarakis or PDP should have found a way round this and preventy unnecessary loss of life. Or is it a sacrificicial platform?

josy

This is what is father was doing when he was alive taking people for ritual on yearly basis, ,this Rebel man should be arrested immediately. This desperate young man have started again.But while is this ilorin people are so lazy and only depends in begging. It is shame on y people that allow your parents to go there.

saajib

1. This is what his father, not is father.
2. But why is this ilorin people so lazy, not But while is this ilorin people are so lazy
3. only depends on, not only depends in begging
4. it is shame on the people that allow their parents, not It is shame on y people that allow your parents.

Pls use the language the way u were taught, else write in your dialect so as not to confuse younger ones reading your post. Tanx

Ilorin very lazy people. That is why one family keep ruling them saraki family how can u say the fact.

John Ola

Human sacrifice under the pretence of sallah gift!! Like father like son!

senator2

When Baba Oloye died Ilorin pple taught it will bring an end 2 their slary from the Saraki’s bt unfortunately it was a continous process, who will now save them from theslave master, the saraki’s.

ezeigbo1960

Vampires! That is what they do always: impoverish the people, form a dynasty, call the impoverished people out in the guise of sharing them food and suck their blood to re-invigorate their voodoo, upon which their powers lie. The wrath of God will surely be upon you people, Amen.