Kilgore Wants out of the US

Texas has an unusually named (and, well, unusual) candidate for the GOP nomination for governor.

I was looking at some news about the upcoming Texas primaries, when I spotted something interesting on the Republican primary ballot:

As an elections nerd who finds ballots far more interesting that the vast majority of people, I am amused and intrigued when candidates try to draw attention to themselves on the ballot itself, which can only be done in the US by changing one’s name (in some other countries it can also be done with logos and party names).

About Steven L. Taylor

Steven L. Taylor is Professor of Political Science and Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences at Troy University. His main areas of expertise include parties, elections, and the institutional design of democracies. His most recent book is the co-authored A Different Democracy: American Government in a 31-Country Perspective. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Texas and his BA from the University of California, Irvine. He has been blogging since 2003 (originally at the now defunct Poliblog).
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I’m going with sad/happy/bemused/proud, but the “proud” bit has to have an implied nationalistic element.

As in, “I’m weirdly proud of the fact that our f*cked-up country produced a person like SECEDE Kilgore who had the balls and the moxie to make it onto the printed ballot for governor. That person is an idiot, but I will proudly stand with aforementioned idiot in his defiant battle against the Evil Doers.”

Dude is an idiot, but he is a Bad Ass idiot.

So

TraurigglücklichverwirrtStolz.

I literally have no idea where the spaces go or how to capitalize so I’m just going to jam it all together for now.

Now let’s just pencil in the “befuddlement” and call it a day.

I am feeling TraurigglücklichverwirrtStolz Verwirrung because “SECEDE Kilgore” is on the official Texas Governor ballot as a candidate.

My name is de stijl (actually that is untrue) and I stand by this comment (also untrue).

Waay back in time my college GF lived in the all-girls dorm. Manor Hall had a German (well, maybe Dutch) head housekeeper. She (the housekeeper, not my GF) would post these really passive-aggressive notes in the common areas and bathrooms like “put Tampons in garbage, Do not Flush!” Random words were just randomly capitalized or not; there was no discernible system.

I did not realize it at the time, but later I came to understand the Germans (and the Dutch too) can be unnervingly direct sometimes. Our first reaction is to perceive it as rude or intrusive, but within their culture they are behaving in a perfectly cromulent manner.

This lady wrote a lot of notes and put them up everywhere.

The old dining hall had been converted into a study area because all meals were now served at Soren Hall. Do Lightswitch Off when leaving if Empty

Just plain and bold on a 8.5×11 sheet taped up next to the exit. Random capitalization (seemingly so to my eye at the time) and random underlined words.

I devoured her notes. I wanted her notes. I imagined story lines for her. I couldn’t actually take the notes down and keep them as my precious because that would be rude, so instead I took pictures of them. Because there had to be a system at work here, some secret Illuminati Pyramids forbidden knowledge sh!t.

Alas, no.

She was a woman in a job she kinda hated picking up after self entitled kids and she was looking to move on to a new job. She should have been matronly and wise and stern, but also cuddly like a Tolkien character. Instead she was ~32 and perpetually pissed off at the whole world.

It was like finding out that Santa is just your grandfather in a red suit and a fake gut prosthesis.

So a guy named Chief Wana Dubie? was running against / on the same ballot as an opponent whose last name is “Blunt”?

Was Blunt’s first name “Dank” and was his middle name “Bud” perchance?

If there was a luchador square-up throw-down between Chief Wana Dubie? and Dank Bud Blunt I would have no idea who to root for. They both have awesome names! I guess I would hope for a draw and then the inevitable rematch.

I have often wished (as I suspect some others have) that Mr Kilgore does in fact get that part of his program enacted. The U.S. without Texas would have several improvements over our present state.

I’ve also thought that the bargain struck by that Alien (in the movie whose name I can’t recall – darn!) with the character who told him that his rifle would have to be ‘pried from his cold dead fingers’ had lots to recommend it. With only the slightest of pauses this Alien says: “Your proposal is accepted.”

What is his real first name? What does he look like? Where can I find more about him? I have tried some searches, but it usually comes up some sort of southern history stuff.
“God Bless Texas” (the incomparable Alan Jackson)