WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyonce lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

"By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyonce has cast a dark cloud over the President's second term," said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky). "The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once."

While many in the media have blamed Beyonce for the lip-synching controversy, Mr. Paul said, "We must remember that this happened on President Obama's watch".

calling for his resignation because of a lipsyning...
Republican'ts just can't get over the fact the majority do not want them near the whitehouse

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyonce lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

"By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyonce has cast a dark cloud over the President's second term," said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky). "The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once."

While many in the media have blamed Beyonce for the lip-synching controversy, Mr. Paul said, "We must remember that this happened on President Obama's watch".

calling for his resignation because of a lipsyning...
Republican'ts just can't get over the fact the majority do not want them near the whitehouse

It's a joke, eeyrjmr. It's like The Onion.

That's how you know you're truly brainwashed and out in left field, fully detached from reality -- when you read something like this, and you not only cannot tell that it's a joke, but you believe it.

Holy, shit, people. Take a deep breath and step away from the propaganda hose. Seriously. _________________Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyonce lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

"By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyonce has cast a dark cloud over the President's second term," said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky). "The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once."

While many in the media have blamed Beyonce for the lip-synching controversy, Mr. Paul said, "We must remember that this happened on President Obama's watch".

calling for his resignation because of a lipsyning...
Republican'ts just can't get over the fact the majority do not want them near the whitehouse

It is called satire. _________________Irony is asking government to fix the problems it caused

Mr. Paul also blasted Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for her testimony on Benghazi before the Senate today: “Her tactic of answering each and every question we asked her didn’t fool anyone.”

She did the best job that could be expected of her, in terms of defending herself, but she was in a defenseless position to begin with. Democrats are trying to act like she didn't get her ass handed to her, but they're in denial; she did. Even Jon Stewart last night, when he was playing along with the party line and trying to make it look like she successfully defended herself, wasn't into it. You could see it on his face that he didn't buy into the story.

Trying to claim the State Department didn't have the money to defend the embassy because Congress won't approve their requests for budget increases, when they have well-defended embassies in non-dangerous areas, just doesn't fly. That's like trying to make an excuse for being out of ice cubes for your party by saying "it was supposed to snow but didn't". Executives are responsible for allocating resources where they are needed. If there are Marine guards around the embassies in safe places like France and Poland, but none at perhaps the most in-jeopardy consulate in the world, then it's not an overall budget problem, it's an internal resource allocation problem.

It's a bullshit answer, and it's given under the mcgruff-like philosophy of, "As long as I emphatically blather something -- anything -- there will be at least some idiots out there who think I won the argument."

She did a good job in there, but she was screwed to begin with. The Obama/Clinton foreign policy in the Middle East and with respect to Arab Spring was naive, and the reliance on Libyans to defend our embassy was naive. It points out the stupidty and naivety of their fundamental foreign policy concept of, "If we're only nice to them, or apparently nice to them, then they'll stop hating us." The real world's not that simple, and foreign countries aren't like ignorant lemming voters -- they know when you're screwing them. You can't just put on a show of friendliness and expect, for example, Arabs to stop wanting to kill you or Iranians from stop wanting a nuclear weapon. Sometimes theater doesn't get it, and you have to actually do things.

Also, she really fucked up when she gave them that strident, desperate-sounding, "What difference does it make?" sound bite. That alone ensures she's out of the running for 2016. Career over. Bookmark this; when she gets elected, you can point to this post and humiliate me._________________Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before

Given the low position from which the Republicans started, you wouldn't think someone could have beaten them so easily as has Obama._________________lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

Oh, and also, in those Congressional hearings Hillary was summoned to, she was wearing Teleprompter Glasses. Some reporter got a close-up. They're claiming its to help with "double vision" after the supposed concussion that she was using as an excuse not to testify before, but those are generally used on both eyes, not one.

Hillary and her teleprompter glasses. I imagine we'll see Obama wearing them soon, especially when he's answering questions from the press, which has apparently become afraid of doing._________________Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before

Oh, and also, in those Congressional hearings Hillary was summoned to, she was wearing Teleprompter Glasses. Some reporter got a close-up. They're claiming its to help with "double vision" after the supposed concussion that she was using as an excuse not to testify before, but those are generally used on both eyes, not one.

“A rival experimental eye doctor had been working with the Soviets and the Red Chinese during the cold war on the teleprompter glasses,” said the independent ophthalmologist. “Now the doctor is working with al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood but I can’t imagine how Hillary got a pair…. they are very, very rare.”

Oh, and also, in those Congressional hearings Hillary was summoned to, she was wearing Teleprompter Glasses. Some reporter got a close-up. They're claiming its to help with "double vision" after the supposed concussion that she was using as an excuse not to testify before, but those are generally used on both eyes, not one.

“A rival experimental eye doctor had been working with the Soviets and the Red Chinese during the cold war on the teleprompter glasses,” said the independent ophthalmologist. “Now the doctor is working with al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood but I can’t imagine how Hillary got a pair…. they are very, very rare.”

Yeah.

It is well known that the Borowitz Report is satire. Clumsy and obvious satire, ergo not so effective... but satire none the less._________________I, for one, am glad to be living on a planet with 776x the mass of the super-massive black hole at the center of the milky way just to keep Neptune in its daily orbit around the Earth.
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