Friday, August 28, 2015

Review: Baby Foot

A friend of mine posted pictures of herself going through the Baby Foot process and I immediately knew I just HAD to have it, do it, love it, roll around naked in it (ok, maybe not that last part, although.......). She was thoughtful enough to post "warnings" to those in her feed, in case they'd be too grossed out to look at her photos. I will do no such thing. If you read my blog or are my friend (hopefully, there's some overlap there, although, again.......), you already know I'm going to be nothing but honest and direct with my review and my experiences.

As such, let's get started. My Baby Foot arrived on Saturday via Amazon and I wasted no time in getting it on. The instructions are straightforward, the application is easy, and the bonus is that you get one hour of down time. Three-fer! The instructions mentioned that you might want to wear socks over the booties and I chose to do so, because the booties are fairly loose themselves and I wanted all the goodness making as much contact with my skin as possible, so socks went on, too, and the fit was much more snug. I waited my hour, I washed my feet with warm water and soap, then I waited. Given my level of patience, the waiting part was the hardest by far. I pestered my friends (I later found that a second friend is currently in the process just about 6 days ahead of me) shamelessly about how much longer I needed to wait to start seeing results and then whined like a newborn puppy when it wasn't happening NOW.

Well, the day I've been waiting for has finally arrived! It's day 5 of the process and day 1 of the peeling. Here's what I'm looking at:

After this: nada. All progress halted. A week and a half later, I did another treatment, because I simply refuse to be the ONE rare case that showed no effects. I need my peels, damn it!

Second treatment: still nothing. What. the. hell? Now, I was both pissed and resolved.

I ordered two more boxes. I WILL PEEL. Seriously, at this point, I was bordering on obsessed. It wasn't healthy. I know.

Treatment number three: rousing success! Huzzah! This time, I not only soaked my feet for the hour a day they suggest, rather I put a pot of water down in front of the couch and every time I sat, I soaked. Every. single. day. For, like, five days in a row. And POOF! Peel they did! Finally! And it was glorious. Glorious, I say! It was every disgustingly satisfying pimple popping, cyst-bursting, skin peeling video I've ever watched all on my own two tootsies. Oh, Mama!

Then, I couldn't stop. The first (well, third) try was so good, I had to have more. MORE! So, I did my fourth treatment another two weeks after that. MORE PEELING! MORE SATISFACTION! MORE GROSS-FACTOR!!!

I've stopped...for now. I'm not going to show you the picture of my smooth feet. A) They're just feet and it's hard to see how smooth they feel, so it'll have to suffice to say that they are smoother than my son's feet. I cannot stop feeling them. It's like that feeling the day after you get a wax or when you first get your braces off. You know the feeling. So good. B) Nobody really wants to see the smooth result anyway, right? You really just wanted to see the peely-grody-ick shots. I'm onto you. You're so gross.

Final word: GET BABY FOOT! Get it, use it, try to have a healthier relationship with it than I have. (I'm off to order my next box. Oh, shush.)

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