Police Harassment, The Segway Way

If you ever feel like cops take themselves too seriously, then now is a good time to go to Long Beach. The LBPD just purchased two $6,200 [Segway personal transporters] for officers to patrol the boardwalk this summer. If you aren’t familiar with the name Segway, you might be familiar with the sight—Segways are those improbable looking [scooter-mobiles](http://www.amny.com/news/local/newyork/ny-bc-ny--beachpolice-segwa0509may09,0,4550891.story?coll=am-topheadlines) with two large wheels normally seen being ridden by [hapless tourists](http://www.segwayguidedtours.com/) and their guides, or sometimes on the TV show “Arrested Development.” The LBPD says that the Segways, which rely on a set of gyroscopes that sense its rider’s movements for steering, will be a great addition to the force. The elevated platform of the people-movers adds eight inches to each officer’s height, giving them a better view of the crowds on the boardwalk. They will also quicken response times and allow the officers to arrive at the scene of the crime without blowing out a lung. It is likely that the Segways will also aid in the nabbing of suspects by slowing them down as they stop to catch their breath from laughing at the sight of grown men on Segways. How will Long Beach boardwalk perps respond: get-away pogo sticks or stilts?