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21. June 2016

Trump Seen Panhandling On Fifth Avenue

FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK — New Yorkers, and tourists from around the world, including a solitary reporter, were treated to an unusual sight today. They saw presumptuous GOP presidential nominee
Donald Trump panhandling on the sidewalk outside Trump's Tower here on Fifth Avenue.

During the GOP primary season, Trump boasted continuously that he would finance his own presidential campaign, but now it seems that the Trump presidential campaign is being vastly outspent by
the Hillary Clinton for president campaign.

Among the thousands of passersby on the sidewalk with the solitary reporter was none other than Bernie Sanders, still in campaign mode, with his campaign manager, Jeff Weaver, assisted by
newsboys and newsgirls selling thousands of copies of today’s New York Times. Sanders explained to the solitary reporter that indeed, he still has not conceded the race to Hillary
Clinton, “But I really do want in the worst way to defeat Donald Trump, so Jeff and I decided that we would simply stand on the sidewalk right here outside Trump Tower and let the whole
world read all about it, 'All The News That’s Fit To Print'."

Confessore and Shorey say in the article that Trump began this month with a mere $1.3 million in cash on hand, a figure more typical for a campaign for the House of Representatives than the White
House. He trailed Hillary Clinton, who raised more than $28 million in May, by more than $41 million, according to reports filed late yesterday night with the Federal Election Commission.

“Look how pitifully poor I am,” Trump yelled, as he begged the tourists to contribute to his seriously lagging presidential campaign.

But the passersby, aware that yesterday the GOP-dominated Senate, spurred on by the NRA, failed to pass any gun control legislation eight days after the Orlando massacre which killed 49 patrons
at a gay nightclub, simply stared at Trump The Panhandler and took pictures of him with their smartphones. Many of them told him to go to the nearest homeless shelter so they wouldn’t have to see
him panhandling on the street.