DO secure a fenced storage lot in a part of town that doesn't attract live ammunition. DON'T meet impounded vehicle owners in vacant lots scattered throughout town for them to ransom their cars.

DO train your drivers and any personnel who will come into contact with impounded vehicle owners with conflict resolution training. DON'T take them to a Mixed Martial Arts event.

DO inform your clients and potential clients about the benefits of having problem vehicles impounded from their property. DON'T call them late at night, impersonating the Fire Marshall, threatening to issue fines.

DO process vehicle liens according to applicable state laws. DON'T cut a key for the '16 Camaro that's been in your lot for 3 days and start driving it to the supermarket for smokes.

DO conduct background checks on prospective drivers. DON'T put someone in a truck on the basis of their Australian accent and sunny disposition.

DO conduct background checks on office personnel. DON'T keep your bookkeeper on the payroll after you find out she was convicted of second-degree theft. From her previous employer.

DO purchase equipment designed for impound work. DON'T borrow your brother-in-law's Nomar carrier with an old Ecka wheellift welded onto the back.

DO provide impound signs to your clients that have your company's name and phone number on them. DON'T switch out your competitor's signs without permission from the property owner.

DO patrol properties for violations according to specific instructions given to you by the account. DON'T park a block away with binoculars waiting for a senior citizen to leave their Buick in the fire lane to walk medication in to their last surviving sibling.

DO identify property lines with accounts when you start to work for them, and share the info with your drivers. DON'T tow away every car on a city street within a quarter-mile of your private property impound signs.

DO take care of any damage you inadvertently cause to a vehicle or to property in the course of your work. DON'T spray-paint over the lens of the security camera that caught you stabbing your claws into the bumper of the new Mustang.

DO make sure that your signs are up, in good condition, not blocked by shrubberies, and placed reasonably throughout the property BEFORE you tow away vehicles. DON'T stop on your way out while towing away a car and prop up an old sign you've been using to lay on while you remove drivelines against a mailbox.

DO have an Account Agreement document on file for all properties you serve. DON'T include the bank account number where you send all the kickbacks.

DO assign an Account Rep to each account you work for. DON'T "hire" the apartment complex's security guard as your "Account Rep" for that property.

DO talk to the media if they are reporting on a situation with which your company is involved. DON'T punch the reporter.

DO have a random drug-testing policy for all of your drivers. DON'T hand-pick the drivers you know will pass to keep your insurance rates down.

DO represent the industry with a high standard of professionalism and integrity. DON'T use magnetic signs on your trucks so that you can change business names quickly.

I hope you've found these pointers helpful. I hereby dismiss all claims of responsibility on my part for any ideas you might have gotten reading them. Most of the ideas above have been tried before anyway, with spotty results.