Expedition de Vie

Friday, 10 July 2015

Early
morning,across the road outside the college, jam packed with vehicles parked in
every nook and corner possible,I made my way to become a part of the 1km long
line of admission seekers while my dad hunted for a place amidst the chaos to park the car.It
was 8 am and by 8.10 am,I was once again inside the campus while my dad stood
outside the putrefied iron gate alongwith other parents,peeking in at me
through the iron bars and giving me instructions to go ahead and submit my
documents.Because of the ruckus that was created yesterday,the authorities had
decided not to allow parents inside for the admission today but only the
students.

Once
again,we were steered into making a line,segregating ourselves according to our
courses and then we were guided to different rooms.It was almost an hour of
waiting in the classrooms decorated with green and magenta curtains,old wooden
sitting desks and peeling-paint walls that finally two teachers arrived and
thus,started the form distribution process.It took another hour for me to hear
my roll number being called.I stood there in front of the lady,in her mid
thirties,scanning my documents and re-calculating my board percentage to ensure
my percentage met with the cut off requirements.By this time,the swarm of
parents managed to locate the rooms where their kids,not kids anymore but all
of them over 18,were seated.My dad came up to me and a wave of relief washed over him to see the
yellow form in my hand.Finally,after two days of struggle and waiting,we had
got the golden egg.We went to the common open space in the heart of the
college,found ourselves a table and chair where I could sit and complete my
form.Little did I know it was just the beginning of the day long struggle.After
filling up details as carefully as if drafting a cheque,my dad scanned through
my form for one last time and off we set to get it submitted again.

The parents
were once again stopped at the entrance of the building where the forms were
being submitted.I went inside alone.The crowd was still bearable until I stood
in the line for form submission.Once a
few more students joined,there was no end of pushing and shoving to get to the
gate of the office.And the staff had locked the gate from inside after letting
in a few students to get their admissions sorted first.I did not even realise
when I reached the glass adorned metallic door.The momentum from behind was soo
much and the space negligible.We all did not even have enough space to ensure
that our hands and legs moved together with us.Being a girl,the surrounding guys
did give a little way to me so that I could comfortably be stuck to the
gate.Although it did not help much but it was aprreciable.After another long
hour of shouting,fighting,shoving and abuses and electricity cut and unbearable
humidity,finally the door opened to let another few inside.I managed to somehow
not fall and headed straight into the office.

Four hours
passed when finally my form was accepted and verified.I was drained of all
energy.Yet the process was not complete.I came out to inform my dad that we
might have to come the next day too for the fee payment.It sounded pretty
unreasonable to travel 2 hours again to the college just for the fee payment.So
we waited for another two hours before we managed to lay our hands on my fee
slip.I was famished.Finally,with that fee slip we proceeded to the payment
office.

At
last,walking out of those rusted gates,with that tingly feeling of finally
having a tag of being a student of Delhi University made the entire day’s
struggle seem worth it all.A smile was there in my heart.And slowly it creeped
up to my face when my dad patted me on my back to congratulate my on my
victory.It was not just mine but my Papa’s dream that had been fulfilled in a
way today.I was happy.He was happy.I called up my mom to inform her about the
same.She was the happiest.

Monday, 29 June 2015

Not a
single ray of sunlight penetrated through the grey clouds hovering above in the
bluish-grey sky.Below,I arrived at the gate of Motilal Nehru College,south
campus,Delhi university.An old,corroded iron gate stopping the swarm of
students alongwith anxious parents trying to make their way inside greeted
me.The guards of the college stood on one side guiding the admission
seekers,pointing onto the sideboard near the college gate that had the cut-off
list stuck on it.Dripping with the shower that had festooned Delhi a few hours
back,I made my way to the noard to cross check the cut off for my course.Seeing
the 92% as it is,sent a final wave of relief as till now,I wan very unsure if
the cut off really was the one I had seen on internet.My dad came to me after
wandering around for 10 minutes,searching for a parking space amidst the
chaos.I showed my certificates and the guard allowed s to enter the college campus.

I stepped
inside onto the grey cobblestone path that led the way to building I was
supposed to go to.The campus was a lush green one with huge and by huge,I mean
real huge and vast circular garden set in the middle of the entrance.On the
left was the building for science and straight ahead lay my destination.For
commerce.The longstanding grey walls of the college decisively gave the feeling
that yes.Here I am.At Delhi University.Me and my dad made our way to the
admissi on desk.The view inside was horrific.A complete mess.There were parents
fighting,shouting to get their children’s forms submitted.The students stood
back calmly while the parents struggled and fought among themselves as if only
one seat was there and they had to fight for it.My dad looked down at me and
laughed.Welcome to India’s number one university,my dad said.I was a little
taken aback although I had been expecting that since DU is a govt. university
so it would be chaotic.But this much!

I stood
back while my father joined the army of parents and after much pushing and
wriggling,I saw him struggle his way through the narrow iron gate into the
administration office.After half an hour of waiting outside,looking around the
estate that was soon going to be my abode,my papa came out smiling.

“Here you
go.I got you a number.Now we will have to come tomorrow for the completion of
administration process.”,with that dad
made his way to the administrative office,quite amused as well as frustrated at
the same time owing to the mismanagement.

The office
members there tried to pacify Papa by making all kinds of promises that don’t worry
your daughter would get admission and this is all a part of college admission
madness.You would have stories to tell your grandchildren about how you had
struggled for admission etc.After expressing our discontent with the
management,we went back,following the path back that had led us here.

I sat in
the car,buckled my seatbelt with the thought of gearing up.Another day awaited
before it can all settle down.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

After my last post,I realised I am letting down my worth by giving in to something that holds nothing for me.And no.I am a princess.I wont lower my worth.So I just came across this pic and felt bound to share it with all you girls out there who are diminishing their self worth for something not worth it.
Keep your head held high ladies. <3

I broke up two days back.And strangely,it does not even feel bad to let go.Strange!I had been in the relationship for the last 14 months and those 14 months got too much I guess.Anyway,I knew we were not compatible but somehow we were trying to stretch it.Thanks to the fight that got real ugly and gave me a reason to end it.
Umm..today I want to share a piece of my past that I have buried for long inside me.Actually,I was in love 3 years back.There was this guy who lived next to my house and we had been in a serious relationship for one and a half year until I discovered he had been cheating on me.I trusted him blindly.I was loyal like a dog.I loved him like a mother loved her child.He was my world.And just to clarify,it was no puppy love because,well because no it wasnt.I was a different person then.I am a different person now.My break up with him left me hollow.Nothing.No feelings.No pain.Nothing.Just a void.A void full of agony.Yet I learnt to keep strong.I used to cry till the time I was with him but the night I ended it,I cried like I had ever and promised myself never to again.And its strange to say but I dont cry anymore.I dont feel anymore.The other relationship I got into after him thinking I would get over him has only made me realise that I value that relationship I shared more than anything even today.And one apology from him and I might go back.Or maybe not.I do hate him.But then I love myself,the self I was when he was there.But of course,I will not go back.He cheated.He might do it again.No.I will not.I just want to snatch myself back.I wonder how?

Friday, 19 June 2015

I know I have been gone too long but now I am back from the city of dreams that is Mumbai.What an exhausting trip it was.First of all,to remind you the purpose of my trip,I had to get admission in Narsee Monjee.And yes.I screwed up my Delhi University's BMS exam last Sunday.So,all hopes go down the dump.Anyways,so Mumbai has been discovered like never before this time by me.The last time I had gone there,all I had seen was vast,blue,beautiful ocean and skyline outlined by the skyscrapers.But this time,having travelled through the interiors of the city,my entire perception of Mumbai has changed.So much so that I am not even sure now if I want to go there and study.The roads are narrow,densely populated and traffic jams are a common scenario.The attenuated buildings reaching as high as the sky,covering either sides of the road,leave not a space for the sky to be seen from anywhere down on the earth.Also,due to lack of space and the salty,moisture filled air,the condition of houses is particularly unimpressive.
Delhi is in sharp contrast to Mumbai.Wide roads.Greenery everywhere.So much open space.Posh buildings.Its the type of world,my world in particular,where I have been living and grown up since the past 15 years.And I am only 18 now.So that very well explains my claustrophobic reaction to Mumbai.
I am really confused.What to do?Delhi or Mumbai?

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

People say it will pass.I wonder when?
Today's day seems soo tiresome for me.I feel exhausted now.I dont want to go back to those tiresome and endless higher maths or logical reasoning questions anymore.I feel like giving up and quietly admitting my abode in Mumbai.I want to fight but I am exhausted.I am tired.I dont want to get up.I want to sit.Sleep.Relax.It's a matter of 4-5 days more only but still I am not able to bring myself to work.Urghhhh!!This is soo frustrating!Since the past two months,this is the only thing that has been happening!I wonder when for once and all would it be ending!A month more or there is much more to come? 😩

Sunday, 7 June 2015

Ting Ting Ting :D
I am sooo happy.I got an email today that was a confirmation from Mumbai's,the city of dreams,and also India's one of the best institutes for management that I have cleared their entrance exam and I am eligible now to get enrolled into their institution.My dad was so happy.My mom could not control smiling.And my joy knew no bounds as I was least expecting to get selected because it was an extra ordinarily difficult exam.Yet,to know I cleared it made me feel like laugh and cry,altogether.
Dad booked mine and his flight tickets for Mumbai to confirm my admission and I would be flying on 11 June there.
In all this hustled excitement,another thing that has struck me hard is that I would have to stay alone and away from my parents who would be here in Delhi.I have never been alone and always been the most pampered child in my entire lineage.I wake up in the morning,be it 9 AM or 12 PM,my lovely mom is always there to serve me my honey and lemon and my breakfast,first thing after I wake up.I have to care about nothing as mom manages everything.And for everything else,papa is there.They are superparents.And the thought of going away is a mixed one.On one hand,I would get to learn to become independent,self reliant and stuff but on the other hand I would not be able to come home,tired at the end of the day and have my bed already made up or my mom ready with the food I love.It's all a bit depressing and I am torn between choosing what to do.
I have my Delhi University's entrance exam as well on 14 and that pretty much would decide where I stay.I clear it and I stayback here,but if I don't,I will have to go to Narsee Monjee.Currently,I am very unsure about what I exactly want but I feel it's ok.I have the steering of my life in my hand and it's upto me right now to drive it to wherever I want.
So crossing my fingers and hoping that whatever happens would happen for the good,I am getting on to work hard for my entrace.
Buhh byee.Wish me luck.
Love.Live.Dream. <3
Shubhi

Le author

An ambivert to the core,I love to express myself through writing and fashion.The blog is a reflection of my passion for every ounce of creativity that resides in me.Be it lifestyle choices and tips to sail through the teen-to-adult phase or anything and everything about makeup and fashion,it's all here and it's all for you to read and learn and share your's as well because each of us are wanderers,looking for the path that would lead to our destination.
And not to forget: Live.Love.Dream.
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