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Most of you probably follow me for a while now and know that, before I even had this blog, I used to regularly make beauty videos on YouTube and I also posted a lot of makeup related stuff on Instagram. Well, I don't really ever do that anymore.

I didn't actually start wearing makeup regularly until I was about 18 or 19, and it must have been around that time when I found the beauty community online and started becoming more and more interested in products and tools and stuff. I remember that, when I moved out and started studying Architecture, I spent hours upon hours watching beauty hauls and makeup tutorials. While I was sitting at home, drawing floorplans and building models, I would have videos from all those famous beauty gurus playing in the background. It was slight fare. I didn't really have to think about it. I occasionally switched tabs, watched for a couple of minutes, then went back to working on my projects.

I learned about balms and pomades, about eyeshadows and lipsticks. I learned how you're supposed to draw on eyeliner and apply blush. I learned that everybody likes chiseled cheekbones and that eyebrows should always be on fleek. Even though it all sounds so easy, those things certainly need some practise, let me tell you that! But I liked practising and when I was putting on makeup, not only did it make me feel better (most of the time), it also was a creative outlet for me, on a totally different level than my projects for uni were.

One day I decided to start making those beauty videos myself. I sat down in front of my camera, all inexperienced and shy, and started rambling on about the stuff I'd bought at the local drugstore. For a long time, I didn't tell my family or my friends about my channel. And when they finally found out, I was incredibly embarrassed. I'd never been a girly girl before but suddenly I was the one who got all dolled up and put on too much makeup on one or two occasions.

The more videos I made, the more I got into beauty. The more I got into beauty, the more stuff I wanted to try. Researching, buying, trying and reviewing new products became my hobby. And one day, I got invited to my first event. Oh, I can't even tell you how excited I was! To be honest, I never really liked meeting new people before but going to these events really helped me with that. I met so many lovely girls with the same interest in beauty and makeup and some of them even became close friends. And then suddenly packages from brands were sent to me, and I hoarded so many products that my collection soon was bursting at the seams. I owned over 50 blushes, at least half of them were of the same peachy
color, and in my head I could justify owning them all because one
was slightly more orange and the other had more shimmer and so on and so
forth.

But not only did I get into makeup while making these videos, I got into filming and editing, too. Photography had been a passion of mine for years but when I discovered videography, I rarely had time to take pictures anymore. I spent the little free time I had putting on makeup and producing new content. And I thouroughly enjoyed it for a year or two or however long my first YouTube channel lasted; I don't even remember, to be honest. But being the person that I am, after a while I was longing for change. And I decided it was time I started taking pictures again. And so this blog was born. At first, I did still continue writing reviews and talking about makeup but after a while I somehow slowly lost interest in blogging about beauty.

I realized that I no longer wanted to buy or own so many products. Hundreds of them had piled up over the years and decluttering my blushes and polishes and shadows seemed hard at first but turned out to be incredibly freeing. I had gotten so sucked into this cycle of constantly finding new things to try, whenever I heard of something being released, I wanted to see if it was any better than the stuff I already had. Any beauty addict can probably relate to that. Reflecting on it now, to most people I must have looked like a freak though.

My life changed completely when I moved to my own place nearly a year ago now. Priorities shifted and interests changed. As I've mentioned before, I finally understood that money can't buy happiness. No matter how many beautiful items I bought or had in my possession, none of them truly made me happy. So I started focusing on other things; things that seemed more important to me than makeup. And my collection has been growing smaller and smaller ever since.

Meeting Philipp and having a long distance relationship of sorts definitely also made me realize that there's more important things in life than concealer or mascara. Which doesn't mean I don't take care of myself anymore. (Because I do. More than I ever did before, actually.) I still like feeling comfortable in my own skin; I still like wearing said concealer or mascara. But on most days, I would much rather spend an hour hiking or swimming than applying eyeshadow and liner and lipstick. Putting on a full face of makeup just does not give me as much joy as it used to. I do occasionally take my time to do the whole shebang but I don't ever spend half my Saturday playing with products now, because ... ain't nobody got time for that! Or me at least. I don't have time for that anymore. Even my short daily makeup routine feels like a chore sometimes. But I must admit, on most days I need a bit of something on my under-eye bags and lashes to feel alive.

Even though I don't really care about products anymore, I do still read beauty blogs and watch makeup videos on YouTube. Because it is fun. It is slight fare and it keeps my mind off other things. Going to the drugstore and looking at new things and swatching and buying them doesn't sound fun to me anymore though. Nor does testing and reviewing and advertising them. You really need this, you have to try that! Buy this, buy that! Nope, you definitely don't need half of the stuff that's being shown in all those pretty Instagram pictures. You don't need them to feel beautiful or worthy. You don't need to buy them just to create a perfect flatlay that would go so good with your current feed. You don't need them. Not at all.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, by the way. I'm not trying to make you feel bad if buying and using makeup is what you like to do. If you want to buy that new palette or another lipstick, then go ahead. If you want to splurge on something that you think will make you happy, then that's totally fine. Your life, your money, your choices. I've just decided that I rather spend my money on other things. Like bus tickets. A weekend trip to Prague. New camera gear. My Iceland road trip that's coming up in May/June. I want to spend my money on things that don't have an expiration date on them - well, expect for food, obviously. Although my vacation this year will cost me a small fortune, I know it's something I'll always remember. I've dreamt of visiting Iceland for years and the memories and pictures I'll take home will never go bad. That's what I want to spend my money and energy on: gathering experience, making memories. I want to focus on exploring and travelling and capturing moments. I want to share the beauty of life here, rather then beauty products.

There you go, now I've said it. And while we're on it, I might as well be completely honest and tell you: I never actually understood my underton, so to
this day I don't know whether my skin is cool or warm or neutral. I
don't even know whether the colors I wear suite me or not. I just
simply wear whatever I feel like wearing. The woods don't care, anyway.

All pictures were taken and edited by Philipp Richter back in October 2016. If you want to see the pictures I took that day, click here.

I've been thinking a lot lately. (Which I always do but it's been getting out of hand again.)
I've been thinking about life. About the past, the present and the future. About love and the definition of home. About the work I do and the money I earn. About health and wealth. About the world and about travelling it. But mostly I've been thinking about time. And how I am spending it.

Time seems so inconsistent to me these days, and the concept of it all starts to confuse me when I think about it for too long. On the weekends for example, it appears to go by much faster than on, let's say, a Monday. But then again, an hour spent on the sofa on a cosy Sunday afternoon usually tends to feel much longer than one hour at work on a Thursday morning. Weird.

Looking back at it now, these past four days of the week went by quite quickly without me doing anything particularly exciting. On Tuesday though it seemed as if Friday was still ages away. Lately I actually feel like I am spending half of my weekdays waiting for the weekend to begin. Because weekends mean I get to do what I love most. I get to spend time with Philipp, go out and explore, take and edit pictures, watch Game of Thrones and sit and talk and laugh. And most importantly, I don't get so much time to think and be pensive. Because I am spending my time consciously, enjoying every second, and not wasting half of it.

And I don't think life is supposed to be that way. I don't think it's healthy to be spending half of a short life waiting for something. Like the weekend. Or a vacation. Or whatever else one could be waiting for. I reckon every single day deserves to be lived and enjoyed fully. And if that's not possible, which it probably won't be, than maybe it can at least be enjoyed for a few minutes. I know not every day will be all smiles and sunshine all day long. There will always be bad days. Sad days. Dark days. Many more than anyone would hope for. But there should be something in every day, something you're looking forward to. Something that makes you excited for that day. Something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Something that makes you enjoy that day. Whether it be a Tuesday or a Saturday.

Now let's be completely honest here. For the past few months, many of my days have been missing that. I've not been looking forward to a Tuesday as much as I had been nine months ago. I've not been looking forward to getting out of bed on a cold and dark and lonely Wednesday morning. I've not been enjoying my days as much as they deserve to be enjoyed. And therefore it is about time I change something in my life. And I guess I'll talk about that another Thursday, once the frost is gone and I've figured out what exactly I want to change and how I'm going to do that.