Question

surrogate?

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What would you do if you wanted children but you partner isn't ready and says that you can talk about it in a year but in the mean time your sister who was unable to have any more children of her own due to an accident asked you to be a surrogate mother for her? And would be willing to pay for all medical care, clothing (which you could keep for when you get pregnant with your own), help with grocery money, etc? Would you be willing to be the surrogate for her?

Mom Answers

I would really think about this one, especially since you do not have any children of your own yet. I don't think anyone realizes exactly how it is to have a baby until they experience it themselves. I would not recommend a fist time pregnancy being someone else's baby, I don't think I could do it. Now, yes possibly since I have had 2 children and I understand how attached you become while pregnant and when you give birth. I love my sister and I would probably do that for her if it was needed, but I would wait until I was done having children. Not to be greedy, but occasionally there can be complications when you have a baby and you could be advised not to have any more. Doing that would be great for your sis, but what if it compromised you possibly having your own in the future. Also if your partner is not ready for kids are you sure he is ready for you to have someone else's baby. The pregnancy is something that would affect him too.

That's a sticky situation. I am concerned for your own well-being. If you want children of your own badly, I would think that carrying one and then handing it off would leave you with an unfulfilled, empty feeling. I can appreciate you wanting to help your sister, but it sounds like you would also be temporarily meeting your own needs in the process by getting pregnant. Please consider this perspective and tread carefully!

talk to the husband but i would say go for it. you would be helpping another woman out. and its not like he will have to get involved all that much. the baby wont stay it could be good practice for when you have your own. youll know what to expect.

I agree with jessica. Also you have to consider that after having a child your body may not be the same either and you may end up with a scar if you get a C section. Not to say these things are as important but it could add to depression if you do have it post pregnancy. There can be up sides also. You and your partner can experience the pregnancy together and get a feel for parenthood and see if your ready and your sisters wish for another baby can come true. I would advise that if you do decide to go through with it, that you keep your sister closely involved so that it reminds you constantly that the baby is hers. It will be hard not to get attached when the baby kicks in your belly and things like that. You should really think this one through and decide if your mentally strong enough to handle this one.

I would do it in a heartbeat. If I knew someone who needed a surrogate and wanted to experience the joy of parenthood, why wouldn't I do it? To give the gift of a child to someone is a priceless act. I, myself, is looking for a surrogate and truly understand the want of a beautiful child. Children are a precious gift. It is a lot to ask of someone. It is true, but that is why I would compensate someone. I have a beautiful 19 month old daughter, a miracle baby in itself. I thank everyday for this little miracle.

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