Sunday, September 9, 2012

1100. Randy has been trying for absurdism lately, but he's not very good at it. This one has the makings of something good but the execution is, as usual, pretty awful. D+1101. I don't know why Randy thinks "sex dungeon" is not very sketchy. I also don't know why he thought this comic was funny. F1102. Guess which Wiki article Randy has discovered? (Hint: it's this one.) D1103. You know, I think it's actually been quite a while since Randy did the whole "LOOK HOW QUIRKY I AM, YOU GUYS" thing. For that I can forgive him. C1104. Didn't Randy once say that birds literally are dinosaurs? This makes the whole "coming to terms with feathered dinosaurs" thing feel a little hollow. C-

1105. If you were to write a thesis on Randy's inability to use the alt text correctly, this would be the most important evidence in your favor. D+

rob is vitrolic and spiteful because he wishes he could write a funny comic on almost literally every subject. what's the matter? sad that this blog doesn't get enough traffic to get 1% of what XKCD earns?

6:58 is vitriolic and spiteful because he wishes he could write a funny blog post on almost literally every xkcd comic. what's the matter? sad this comment doesn't get enough traffic to get 1% of what xkcd sucks earns?

vid is vitriolic and spiteful because he wishes he could write a funny troll post on literally every xkcdsucks thread. what's the matter? sad your comments don't cause enough rage to generate 1% of the anger 6:58 earns?

i would, but i get really tired of dealing with know-it-all pricks trying to tell me that i don't know anything about the shit i've built my life around. the conversations are invariably tiresome and fruitless.

That's the whole point, turds-for-brains. You can't take a choice into either abandoning xkcd sucks OR putting some real effort into it and make it something worthy of readership and so you stay in the "indecise line" that makes this blog be the piece of shit it currently is. That's what being mediocre is all about: being akratic and/or philistine and not having the determination to understand that if something deserves to be done it deserves to be well done.

Write a guest review, Eumesmopo. You can write what you want because Rob will barely glance at it before putting it up. You can even mock the characterological armour he wears to cover his akratic mediocrity if you want.

I wish people would stop using the label "ADD" as an excuse for what is really just laziness. There's a difference I think, though I don't know what it because I treat people of either flaw with equal disdain so it doesn't matter really.

Re Fritzl, what is it about the Austrians/Germans that makes them able to live among atrocities and then, when these people are "discovered" (usually by someone outside their country like an invading allied force), they act like they had noooooooo idea what was going on?

"There were children/Jews locked up and abused for years? I had no idea omg that sounds awful! Oh well, I guess it happened, but we mustn't let anything like THAT happen again..."

It is gross denial or merely that the culture has developed the most sincere insincerity civilisation has ever seen? Today Germany forgets its EU obligations to other Member States per all the principles in the Treaties even though it was being helped out during its financial crisis 7 years ago. It pretends that it was not aware of what would happen as a result of dumping cheap exports onto Mediterranean states. They come out with exactly the same thing: "You mean there might have been negative consequences to distorting the market like this? I had no idea omg that sounds awful! Oh well, I guess it happened, but we mustn't let anything like THAT happen again..."

I do not understand the inclusion of comics. It is absurd to say that the character wanted for profitable thinking? If so, who is to represent one character? As if it was in the news recently, or if you have, then you will understand this idea, it would be foolish to give this make sense? There are established characters and character, always under construction, and better defined with this comic? Many questions still not answered.

I do not understand the inclusion of comic books. It's funny, I have to consider the interests of the character? If so, what the character is? In the news recently, as you have, or would have been a fool, because if you understand this concept of the meaning of this? I define a good sign that the comic character, however, is still under construction? Many questions remain unanswered.

Perhaps the first to say that, but I think that reading the book is boring. He began to read hundreds of different lengths of prose, threatens to become of his life, does not include a dozen schools.

I don't think we should improve this book, "Here is the participation of the person, the Red Army immediately or to exclude certain methods of own products. Create an illusion?" And so I'm trying to read. Novels have a point, really bad. I spend anywhere, thinking it was a feeling that it will be really something fake or something for the evacuation. Ideal Françaises romanticises novel; start thinking. He falls asleep. It's pretty selfish.

The world has enough, it's beautiful, it's bear the reality is much more difficult to overcome. Novels, it always seems like a simple way.

Maybe I'm the first person here to say it, but I find bad Google translations really boring. I have started reading hundreds of different bad translations from various languages, and maybe finished a few dozen throughout my life, not counting schoolwork.

I find it hard to read a bad Google translation without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a meme that some guy has run through translate several times. What language is he using to enable this?" And that's how my whole bad Google translation experience goes. Bad Google translation makes no point well which can't be better made with reference to legitimately bad use of language. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is what I need to be confused by in order to see something false or escape something true. Bad Google translation idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from the truth.

The world already has enough that is beautiful and that is abhorrent - and legitimately bad use of the English language is far more challenging to confront. Bad Google translations have always seemed like the easy way out.

This site is a joke, right? I just found this place randomly, but I'm a fan of xkcd. I try a lot of people here from the skeptical comics on the surface, to comment. It seems that the sending of the request, the queues will represent a comics geek culture, in fact, but no one has taken responsibility. Treason! And biscuits is not difficult, because their doubles match preferences: cookies than problem berserk.

It is arrogance, saying only that creative activities, because it does not fulfil the needs of the serious even claimed that the blame for each list. Not to say you can't do it, but it seems that his indignation, false if it is _hidden_, the reason that I really don't like comics.

Jon Levi, are you married? I hope not, because I've found this great lady who would be perfect for you. I met her in a club down in old Soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola.

The tragedy of the 20th century was the holocaust stripping our social order of its anti-Semetism. September 11 marked a joyous beginning for the 21st century, allowing the oblivious herd to feel the righteous hatred that the Arab scum so richly deserves.

My dream is that the world will soon go on to learn that Jews are just a more insidious form of Arab, no less deserving of our hatred. Society will continue to stagnate until we learn to collectively cull these racial sinkholes.

".....The tragedy of the 20th century was the holocaust stripping our social order of its anti-Semetism....."

And the ability to spell correctly too it would seem.Personally, I consider myself to be a Broad Spectrum Anti Semite. I detest those pesky Gram Positive Jews and Arabs and abhor those lucid Gram Negative Assyrians and Babylonians. And don't get me started on those Carthage-founding Phonecians or biblical Chaldeans.Sheesh!

I've no idea what 'meta' means so I will not comment, but the assertion that the assertion negates itself is incorrect. Arrange for a friend who possesses a higher level of reading comprehension than you to explain why.

A: The holocaust has stripped our social order of its Antisemitism or equivalently, there are no antisemitesB: A is a tragedyC: The person who claims B is an antisemiteD: 11:36 claims A and B E: 11:36 is an antisemite

C and D => E => not ACD

"Arrange for a friend who possesses a higher level of reading comprehension than you to explain"

The Holocaust has stripped our social order of Anti Semitism, or equivalently, anti Semitism is no longer socially acceptable. Some would profess that a social 'cohesion' is engendered by this shared belief, and it is now lost to us - hence his/her second paragraph wherein he/she supplies a replacement.There are still loads of Anti Semites, it's just they can't 'express' it with impunity. They remain quiet.

"There are still loads of Anti Semites, it's just they can't 'express' it with impunity. They remain quiet."

"The tragedy of the 20th century was the holocaust stripping our social order of its anti-Semetism. September 11 marked a joyous beginning for the 21st century, allowing the oblivious herd to feel the righteous hatred that the Arab scum so richly deserves.

My dream is that the world will soon go on to learn that Jews are just a more insidious form of Arab, no less deserving of our hatred. Society will continue to stagnate until we learn to collectively cull these racial sinkholes."

lol no. irl as well, inb4 your predictable idiocy. unless you believe the western world is the world, and that only soapbox public declamation constitutes "expression".

ALTF, aren't you supposed to be not here? I already waved good bye to you in the previous thread. This is like that embarrassing moment where you forget your L-P and have to run through security back to me to collect it...

@7:21: You must be new here - you're only supposed to show unwarranted hostility against ALTF.

And I do miss mummy - dear old thing is holidaying in Spain. I say holidaying - she is dragged around by daddy's family for as long as there's a truce in their interminable civil war. Uncle still dreams of being the UGT firebrand he never was, while aunt's vertically challenged husband's a right little franquista. And he can twitch his nipples in rhythm to music, though it's been a while since he performed.

I digress. Perhaps I shall call her this evening. I appreciate the reminder.

@ALTF: Well, I did just administer some Savlon, though not quite per anum - the lady was picking some greens from the vegetable garden and a rather macho nettle took her from behind.

".....you're only supposed to show unwarranted hostility against ALTF....."

If the hostility directed towards me is considered unwarranted I have failed.

Why the fuck would you have nettles, macho or otherwise, growing in your garden in the first place?You fecking Brits! Not happy unless you've something about which to complain, keep a stiff upper lip and remain calm and carry on.

".....And I do miss mummy - dear old thing is holidaying in Spain. I say holidaying - she is dragged around by daddy's family for as long as there's a truce in their interminable civil war. Uncle still dreams of being the UGT firebrand he never was, while aunt's vertically challenged husband's a right little franquista. And he can twitch his nipples in rhythm to music, though it's been a while since he performed....."

UGT Firebrand?Franquista?

Well fuck me from behind with a rolled-up full-coloured 3' by 5' poster of Guernica, youse is a funny cunt!For you, I'd be willing to have my lumbar "¡No pasarán!" tattoo removed.

Well, obviously, I've never read Tolkien.Are you thick?Now, I assume, you are wondering why I have never read Tolkien?Tolkien is trash! Steeped as it is in Edwardian sensibilities. I mean, Hobbits have regular mail service for fuck's sake - or so I've been told - why would one bother with the story?The commercial success of The Trilogy was what inspired the following from a true writer:"It just goes to show the folly of teaching people how to read and write."

"The New Orleans Saints are totally bad-ass! They have cool, black uniforms and that wicked fleur-de-lis thingy."

To which I responded:

"The All Blacks are a rugby team from New Zealand and their pre-game war chant, the 'haka', is the zenith of bad-ass. The fleur-de-lis is emblematic of those unfortunates who after vegetating as tailless amphibians for eons are now at least counted among the anthropoids - albeit cheese-eating - and are hardly bad-ass(The Napoleonic era notwithstanding)."

No!If all Inserts were never Strawman, all retorts would be always non-fallacious - assuming no other type of fallacious Insert is used that is. Non-fallacious retorts, aka legitimate retorts, are needed to avoid boredom and death.

You are right about my process though; and it is deliberately so. Except my Zygomatic process which is definitely not opaque.

this fragment is slippery. if only some inserts were strawmen, would all inserts still not never be strawman? or if all inserts were strawman, but let us say, only on tuesdays, could said circumstance be said to not contradict a temporally and demographically unconditional denial of the existence of strawman inserts?

why would Randal care enough to check a daily twitter account so he can discuss sports if he doesn't care to watch them? Who is impressed or satisfied by sports small-talk? is this really an issue? Why is it uncool for nerds to like sports, anyways? High school related jock-angst?

Certainly overrated. It's a million light years worse than Father Ted and Linehan should be ashamed of himself. Chris Morris I hesitate to be annoyed at because I'm fairly sure he was just trolling Channel 4 for alienating him after the impeccable Paedogeddon follow-on to his '90s masterpieces.

It's like The Big Bang Theory - worth a smile from time to time but Randallite in its LOL SCIENCE REFERENCE LOL ASPERGER LOL RELIGION IS RETARDED LOL. And something in my brain must preccoupy itself with BBT because the supposedly lovable Leonard character embodies everything I hate about "nerds". I know Randall is an intellectually mediocre failure but there really are academically successful people who act like the manchildren in BBT.

No love lost for Ben Elton - the toadying, disingenuous, Thatcherite bastard - but he has some technical skill.

@8:34 The conversation was about jokes using sports crib notes as the punchline. You linked us to a joke about somebody ineptly faking a sports conversation by saying all the wrong things, certainly without the benefit of crib notes. What were you thinking? Jesus Christ, man, what the fuck were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? I mean, Jesus fuck. Holy shit.

Randall is seriously butthurt about people who wish others would use "literally" correctly, isn't he? Mind you, I'm no fan of pedantry, but this is the second comic he's made about this specific issue. (Or third? I feel like there was a BHG one early on.)

Your employers ignorate you, Takanawa. Burning a Qur'an is one of several respectful ways of disposing of redundant copies, and all copies of the Qur'an are redundant.

I do prefer the method of setting the book adrift. The image of ten thousand Qur'ans bobbing westward in the Atlantic to the Funeral March of a Marionette appeals to me. An equally redundant number of Atlas Shruggeds could be launched toward Mecca.

A damp crusade erupts somewhere along the 45th meridian, and no-one dies.

Oh and 'Takanawa' is not as funny as it could be. Despite my ancestors collusion with IJA during the 'First Great War Of Anglo-American Aggression Towards The Peoples Of Myanmar' we don't like folks named 'Tricia'.

Speaking of the 45th meridian east, I was just listening to a Netrebko and Garanca performance of The Flower Duet. I don't know what language they think they're singing, but it isn't French. Dôme épais, лэ жазмах.

Do dullards hate themselves for being that way? Is there a non-empty set of people sufficiently bright to self-reflect on being too dim to achieve anything of note? Which sort of person posts on the xkcd forums?

(Would a dullard look at the previous paragraph and think "well you should know lol" would be a worthwhile retort?)

The Tutor once shagged a young Yankee trollop who professed to have an Honours degree in English Literature from Northwestern. He said that not only had she no knowledge of 'Pride and Prejudice', she had never even heard of Jane Austin!She could name all the episodes of 'Sex In The City' though.

It turned out she did have a legitimate Eng Lit degree! Them Yankees better keeps up their military, 'cause they ain't gots nothing else goin' for 'em.

I had a schoolfriend whose family owned a cherry plantation in Kent. They also had some land near Joburg, but the way his mother spoke to the natives was too much for me to spend time with them there.

Anyway, in his student days he drove around a brown Austin Metro. One day the car got stuck in one of his fields and he misapplied a tractor attachment. The car promptly committed suicide, becoming two separate chunks of scrap metal.

He was sweet chap. Came out a year or so after boarding school - as did his brother soon after that. I expect his effeminate father was relieved, but mumsy disappeared for a few weeks in shame, or maybe to explore her own self. He studied English A-level back when the certificates had greater value than bogroll, and I can still recall a collection of Austen in his room next to the housemaster's office.

".....He studied English A-level back when the certificates had greater value than bogroll....."

NOTHING has greater value than a soft paper product used to maintain personal hygiene after defecation or urination.Take the Goa Sampark Kranti Express out of Delhi in 3rd Class to understand.Oh, and be female too.

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

I read somewhere that internet paedophiles can cause the computer keyboards of their Internet child victims to emit noxious fumes to subdue them. Go ahead sniff your keyboard you'll smell the fumes. Careful though, it will make you feel "suggestible".

Smells like a pooled spillage of cask strength Laphroiag to me. I wondered why the bottle was so empty when I woke up after last night's bender. I usually have the sense to stop drinking the better stuff once I'm too drunk to tell the difference.

I also detect a hint of old cheddar crumbs and something that resembles lemon meringue. Shall we drink, ALTF? My inebriated ingenuity may have concocted an exciting new infusion.

Are you the Anonymous, above, of September 13, 2012 9:26 AM wherein the word 'Paedogeddon' is introduced?

Funny show that. I've not seen it, but I have just spent two hours researching it. And plagiarising it.

I'm Asian. We don't hold our liquor well. I do not drink often. You should not either. I'd hate to have to witness you drag the bendered and flaccid penis of your otherwise lucid imagination across the keyboard of our love.

Would it kill you anonymous cunts to open a Google Blogspot account so those of us who revel in exhibitionism can differentiate between the various flavours?

The Tutor once drank Laphroiag from a flask using a discarded IV tube he found behind an abandoned NHS clinic while simultaneously frotting the muslin draped arse of a cutey he picked up on the Clapham High Street while she did her nails and feigned interest.So British!

Thankyou, 3:50. As one who was never able to reap the benefits of white privilege, the solace of a lonely binge is my favoured mode of conjuring a rightful sense of solipsistic importance by night while remaining a menial cog in the economic machine by day. The provision of the opportunity of such is also society's favoured way of ensuring I hold my place as a menial cog in the economic machine, so it really is a beautiful cycle of codependency when it comes down to it.

I'm sorry, ALTF, but my flaccid penis had to be amputated long ago after I had been so swept away by a performance of the classic ditty "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" that I was inspired to try picking a lock with my own big hairy cock. The upside is that I am now capable of partaking of a sexual relationship by post with anybody who doesn't mind the sharp aroma of formaldehyde.

I've looked around a bit here on your blog. I'm no superfan of XKCD. I read it occasionally, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's interesting, sometimes it's boring. You, however, are always boring. I haven't seen an original joke, an original insight, or really anything at all original. You might think it's fun to do whatever it is you think you're doing (Witty cultural commentary? Important complaints about people who have an ounce of sincerity? Real criticism? I can't quite tell.), but real critics contribute to a discussion, they don't ceaselessly hammer on the same dull points. Points that don't seem to have much force or salience, either. Points that basically seem to boil down to "ew, dorks who try to hard to be hipsters." I'd take trying to hard to be interesting over obsessive hatred of same any time. Cause when you try to be interesting, you at least have a chance of success. When you try to be an asshole, you always do.

I've looked around a bit here at your post. I'm no superfan of xkcdsucks. I read it occasionally, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's interesting, sometimes it's boring. Your post, however, is always boring. I haven't seen an original joke, an original insight, or really anything at all original. You might think it's fun to do whatever it is you think you're doing (Witty cultural commentary? Important complaints about people who have an ounce of sincerity? Real criticism? I can't quite tell.), but real critics contribute to a discussion, they don't ceaselessly hammer on the same dull points. Points that don't seem to have much force or salience, either. Points that basically seem to boil down to "ew, dorks who try to hard to be hipsters." I'd take trying to hard to be interesting over obsessive hatred of same any time. Cause when you try to be interesting, you at least have a chance of success. When you try to be an asshole, you always do an asshole.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Divided into two convenient categories, based on whether you think this website

Rob's Rants

When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.