Tuesday, August 17, 2010

ON OVERCOMING SHYNESS....

I posted this photograph on Facebook as a joke about my forthcoming Kilimanjaro preparations, but it does seem to make a difference for me.

And here are some of the other things that help me overcome shyness when it comes to readings and public speaking etc ...

1. Making a note of all the things I've missed in the past because of it. And how much I would have enjoyed them. So I don't want to miss more in the future. Do I?

2. This tip I read which is that a speech should contain a fact, a feeling (created by talking about the senses) and an action. Just thinking about how I am gong to include this gives me some kind of structure apart from just panicking.

3. Remembering that no one else notices how nervous I am. Just bluff it out and smile. Also remember that people actually want me to do well. They are not the enemy. Although strangely easy to forget this sometimes.

4. In my head unless I'm careful, I often have a scenario going on about how I'm going to trip over, that I will start crying, that ... etc etc. The strange thing is that these thoughts are almost a little comforting - as if it's not really going to be as bad as that. How could it be? But that's all a bit negative, so I try to think instead about what people (the audience) want to hear. How can I give them that? Just replacing the first scenario with this calms me. Gives me something other than myself to think about, because it's not about me anymore. It's about everybody else. I remember listening to a talk by Dr Wayne Dyer in which he said that he sat in his dressing room before any presentation asking 'how could he serve'? Well, I don't have dressing rooms, and I'm not so sure about the serving, but I like the sentiment.

5. Have the first few lines ready, and prepared. And how I'm going to finish. And to practice this a few times in front of the mirror. Smiling. And bluffing it out (with a few drops of rescue remedy to hand..).

I used rescue remedy when I had to do my viva at art college because there were four of them and only one of me and I was terrified. It worked. I didn't know if it had a placebo affect or if it was something else but I didn't care. I'd definitely try it again - particularly if I was ever reading my work out loud. (I'm nervous just thinking about it.)

About shyness -- as an artist in order to find oneself, it is necessary for one to loss oneself. And when we actually loss ourselves we can really express ourselves, without tripping over the "big I". If we are thinking about what are people going to think, we can't do anything, but perhaps become aware it is difficult for people, put them at ease. I think also if we are passionate about what we are talking about. It's going to be great. Maybe the "what" we are saying, is more important than we are?

Not cruel, Sophie, I think you're right about other people. It's all part of the realisation that we're all human and most people are struggling with shyness etc too. Speaking in public is the third biggest fear - that's weird!Yes, JJ, it works for me so I don't care if it's placebo or not!Matt, all I can say is lucky you being a performer. Would love to be able just to stand up and enjoy myself - normally I do in the end, but I could do without the angst before!

Exactly, Annell, but I wonder if that's why artists and writers struggle sometimes too. There has to be an element of vulnerability in the making, and therefore it's hard to forget about that during the presenting. A case of a split self?

"Sarah Salway is the Madonna of writing books. The dancing one, not the Mother of Jesus one. Except she's younger and has had less plastic surgery. Sarah Salway that is. Also she writes really well."Neil Gaiman

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