Be-You-Tiful

We live in a society where we allow others to set our goals for us. We allow the media to show us who we should be. We listen to others around us and allow them to provide insight on where we should be. We get judged by our looks and not by who we are. Partly because of everyone judging books by their covers and partly because we have stopped being honest to ourselves about who we are.

We teach our children that boys can’t do what girls can do and girls aren’t strong enough to do what boys do. Then we grow up complaining about men struggling to be fathers and why can’t they cook? At the same time questioning women who feel like they can’t compete with men in the workplace and they don’t know how to change a tire.

We have families whose households are completely chaotic and abusive, yet they get all dressed up to go to church on Sunday, all while physically and figuratively covering up the bruises and mental anguish. And these are the families who outsiders are striving to be because they live in a nice neighborhood and drive nice cars. Have you ever seen the hashtag #relationshipgoals?

We have our youth struggling with their identities and being bullied and ridiculed because they don’t fit the mold. We are told girls are either too skinny or don’t have enough curves. Boys are either too “aggressive” or not masculine enough. Our kids are becoming depressed and committing suicide.

Today I want you to look at yourself and say who I am? Then reply that you are a beautiful, unique, strong individual.

Mothers: You do not have to compete with any other mom. If you are a working mom like me and you are happy there don’t beat yourself up for wanting to work. You are not any less of a woman or mother for doing so. If you stay at home, don’t feel bad if you want a break to have a conversation with another human being that is of legal age to consume adult beverages. Breastfeeding is awesome for babies, but there are babies and children not eating. Let’s stop bashing others just because they are formula feeding. Be happy they are loving and caring for their baby. You never know, they may not produce enough milk and have no choice. They may just not be interested and they may just not want their nipples to be extra sore and be fearful of their breasts sagging. Being a mom is hard enough, let’s stop making it worse for our fellow moms.

I am a full time working mother. I love my job but I do sometimes feel guilty when I see other moms at every school event. I have also worked from home and I was able to spend lots of time with my child and I would live for the times I could have a coffee or lunch date with my friends without my daughter. I still enjoy the quiet times when I am kid free and enjoy the moments when she crawls up close to cuddle with me. I breastfeed and bottle fed. Mostly because my child has always had a mind of her own. It really just depended on the day. As a mom, as long as you are doing your best and your child is not abused or neglected, then you are doing awesome.

Women: You are beautiful just the way you are. Losing weight just be for health reasons or just to feel good about yourself, not because we live in a world where no size is good enough. Let’s teach our daughters and those in younger generations to be confident in who we are and love ourselves. And remember, it’s okay if you don’t have kids. Having kids does not determine your womanhood. Rather you choose not to have children or you have not had the opportunity to do so, it’s perfectly okay.

I have finally reached point in my life where I am learning to love myself just the way I am. I am working to be healthier and yes I want to look better naked but I am not stressing myself out about it.

Friends and Family: Stop trying to be more than you can. If your friend or family member keeps her house white glove clean and you don’t, it’s okay. Start being honest with yourself and your friends. If you can’t do it, then say so. If you want to do nothing instead of hanging out, then just do it.

In conclusion: Who are you and who are you trying to be? Let people see the real you. Flaws and all. The more you hide your flaws, the more difficult it is to address them. The first step is admitting it, to yourself and others. Be happy with your testimony, there are things about you that no one else could imagine. So be confident in who you are. Learn to love who the real you is. Share her with the world.

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Published by Daphne' Adams

I am a woman of God who has been given the opportunity and grace to lead others to their destiny but fails daily at making Christlike decisions. I am also a mother who loves her child more than life but there are days I feel like my child has taken all my marbles and threw them in the pool.
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70 thoughts on “Be-You-Tiful”

I agree 100%. My husband and I are trying to focus less on gender as parents. Really, our hopes for our son have nothing to do with him being a boy and everything to do with the kind of person we want him to be.

Nothing can be better than being yourself and loving who you are. Such a positive and beautiful message to everyone struggling with who they are out there! Love yourself, especially your imperfections, it’s what makes you… you.

This is well-written and very inspiring. Sometimes we need to just sit back and relax and inhale the idea that we are a blessing. Your words speak truth to this very fact. Keep empowering my friend! Virtual hugs to you xoxo

Such an encouraging read, Daphne. You make some very true and important remarks regarding our society today. It is SO easy to look out at what everyone else is doing and miss what’s going on within us and before our very eyes.

What a beautiful message. We are all just trying live our lives and doing the best we can. What we don’t need is the judgement. I tend to feel guilty when being a stay at home mom and want to just take a break because people tend to judge my decisions. Love this post. Super encouraging.

I’ve slowly come to realize exactly what your message conveys. I may not be at my lowest weight or have the glowing skin I used to; but I have never felt more like myself. I had zero self-confidence growing up and it’s so refreshing to feel confidence regardless of how much I weigh or how I look!

Reading your post I have the impression you’ve been reading my mind! I could sign my name under every word you said. I’ve reached exactly that point in my life that you mention, and I’m so over judgements and competition!

This is so true. I have been in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship where I just pretended that everything was fine and happy even though it wasn’t. Thank you for the inspiration to be myself.

A beautiful and poignant post. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. We are always aware of all the issues you’ve raised, and try our best, subtly and sometimes not so subtly to educate our kids on them. That wedding photo is shocking.

This is a lovely post, thank you for sharing. As women we should learn to lift one another up because each of us is fighting her own daily battle. If we come together, encourage and support one another it could make positive difference.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom on being the best you and being proud of yourself. We all struggle with confidence in one area or another, but it’s nice to remember that this is part of being human and caring about our impact in the world. If we calm our minds, through prayer or meditation, we can navigate through the noise to support our core beliefs with solid intentions and actions. We can’t do everything right, but we can do what we think is most important right. 😀

Preach!! Everybody lives their lives differently but it doesn’t mean it’s wrong! It boggles my mind how people are quick to judge mothers who are stay at home but never see the full daily lives of what these mothers go through and how much they actually do. I’m not a mother myself, but I still believe mothers work just as hard as people with jobs and not only that they work around the clock they can’t just “clock out” and leave, they are constantly working. Keep doing you, love!

This is beautifully worded. With expectations from the media to be this and that it is hard. The mum part of this blog is so relatable. You kind of do lose your identity whilst looking after a small human😩