Soooooooo… I went Speed Dating.

3082012

Photo: Cartoonstock.com

You know how folks say you shouldn’t knock things until you try it? Well, I’ve officially tried speed dating and can now efficiently knock it. By the time I’m done with this post, Speed Dating may just not be able to recover from all the knocking I plan to do to it lol.

First, I’ll say that this is not a bitter rant. My girl and I went with absolutely no expectations and actually had a blast… but we had fun mostly because we were laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, not because we were meeting such great people. Incidentally, I did meet some pretty cool people – they just happened to be women. So if any of the ladies from that night are reading today – it was great meeting you! (And I’m glad you ignored the fact that I started networking at a speed dating event and actually came to the blog lol)

Now – you may be wondering why my girl and I even tried this speed dating thing out. Well, it was for a few reasons:

A. I’m all about dating these days and maximizing as many opportunities as possible in this area. And I’ve been on a dating roll this year… so you know; why not try this way as well?

B. I’m a Living Social sucker. Send me a deal that says I’m saving 50% off of some random opportunity and I’m immediately interested in trying it out. And this time around, one of my girls was there to validate this interest.

C. I’m all about trying new and possibly fun or funny things… and so are my friends! One friend recently submitted her profile to the Very Smart Brothas for their Very Smart Singles feature. And I’m working on getting another friend to enter into Jozen’s NY Post Meet Market. So, it was my turn to think outside of my normal box and just kind of go for it and see what happens.

D. I was thinking it might be interesting to see about trying “something new.”

E. I figured, if nothing else – it would make for a great blog post!

With that information in my mind, I got dolled up for the night, met up with my girl (and funny enough, we sort of accidentally coordinated our outfits that night with both of us wearing variations of khaki/nude, red, and white/cream) and walked into….. an empty arse section of the lounge.

We’d arrived at 7:50 for an event that was to start at 8pm and the only other person there at the time was the event coordinator. Hmmm. Strange. Well, we figured upon seeing this that the only remedy for that situation was to hit up the bar.

By the time we came back to the section of the lounge set up for speed dating at 8, it was a little more packed…………. with women! In fact, while there were 20 women at the event, there were only 12 men. We should have known how the night was going to go from there, but instead we sat our excited selves down in our seats and waited for the mens (yea, I said it) to make their ways to the various numbered tables.

Side note: the way this speed dating event worked was that the women stayed at their respective numbered tables and the men rotated by number every 5 minutes.

One by one, a socially awkward man came to my table and attempted to have a socially awkward conversation in the course of 5 minutes. Some of these convos were not that bad. Others were…uh… well, here’s a few examples of some of the more eye gouging conversations:

Guy: “Oh you’re from New Orleans? I love New Orleans. Why did you leave? Oh, was it because of Katrina?”

Me: “No, I came up here for school.”

Guy: “Oh… ok… well …. Um… how do you feel about what happened down there?”

Me: “Ummmmmmm, I don’t really think that’s a conversation I want to have, you know, here.”

Guy: “Oh… right…. ………………Well ……. did you think the levees were properly built?”

Me: “Sir???”

Guy2: “So why did you decide to do this?”

Me: “Oh, I saw a Living Social coupon that I couldn’t turn down. Figured why not? Right? You?”

Guy2: “Oh, I do these all the time.”

Me: “Oh…. OK. Have you been on a lot of dates from them?”

Guy2: “No.”

Me: “Oh……………………. Ok.”

Guy3: “So the girl on the left of us hit me with a lot of questions reporter style.” (He didn’t know the girl to the left of us was my friend lol)

Me: “Oh yea, well she’s a journalist and my friend. I take it you’ve never dated a journalist before, huh?”

Guy3: “No. I haven’t. Are you going to do the same thing?” [Scared look in his eyes]

Me: “It’s not my goal, no.”

Guy3: “Oh. OK” Silence.

Me: *in my head – I see why she was hitting him with multiple questions. You’ve got to talk sir!*

Guy4: “So you’re a writer?”

Me: “Yep.”

Guy4: “What do you write?”

Me: “Well I write everything, but in my daytime job, I work in the communications/correspondence office of a DC agency.”

Guy4: “Oh, so you don’t write for a publication?”

Me: “No, not right now. But I used to… for now though, I’m on the other side of the communications spectrum.”

Guy4: “Oh. Ok.” [confused look]

On and on these conversations went. And by the end of the night, after having maaaybe two good conversations with men there, all I could do was laugh. Speed Dating sure wasn’t the thing for me, but hey – at least I can say I tried it, right? I’ll write on this later, but my motto lately has been “until I get it right with that one special guy, I might as well enjoy getting it wrong.” And I can certainly say that I enjoyed myself that night, even if it was just because I felt like I was at a comedy show.

But what about you all – have you ever tried speed dating? If so, was your experience anything like mine?

Thanks Kesha Lynn lol. And yeah, it was pretty amazing just how bad some of the conversations were. I will say, though – one guy was much better than the rest. We were talking about traveling and our different interests and the fact that we were both foodies, so they weren’t all completely horrible haha

10. distraction: person that you call for entertainment purposes
see also: cut buddy

11. crush: typical definition, but we make it a category of purity. you are not allowed to put this person into any other category, ie. a distraction or PB.
see also: object of affection, nook partner, man hug

12. mafia/mean crew/cashmere mafia: various affinity groups, ie. people that I like to spend my time with
mafia: group of girls
cashmere mafia: group of guys
mean crew: mafia + cashmere mafia - a few people

13. slip-up/accident: a sexual encounter that was not planned ahead of time. Should never occur with PB, as it will result in loss of said PB.

14. watermelon/cookies/cake: please refer to The Nickname Game (relationships) post for further explanation; see also: feasting

15. RSS feed: (Random Safe Sex)... see also a good time. Can include the feasting of watermelon. Should only be had with distractions or Brody's. Should also include as many positions as possible... remember "a one trick pony dont win no race."Cannot be achieved with PBs or Objects of Affection as the random part would not be applicable.

__________________________________
Disclaimer:
All images on https://gotsole.wordpress.com are readily available in various places on the Internet and believed to be in public domain. Images posted are believed to be posted within our rights according to the U.S. Copyright Fair Use Act (title 17, U.S. Code.)