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Author
Topic: Am I at high risk? (Read 1793 times)

Hello, I am 35 year old female. I had sex with a male partner over a week ago, we used a condom but it broke during intercourse. He didn't ejaculate, but it was a couple of minutes before we noticed the condom was broken. He went for a test the next day, because he has another steady female partner and he tested negative. I also have a steady partner and we've been testing every year, so far negative all the time. I am freaking out now, because i never cheated on my boyfriend, it happened once and i did such a stupid mistake. Am I at high risk for contracting HIV? I know i have to wait at least 6 weeks before i can test myself, thankfully my partner is away for another two months, so hopefully by then i get negative results.

You did have a risk, and need to test. As your partner pulled out before ejaculation, and because you started with a condom, that condom provided good protection until it broke. Therefore your risk is not as high as it could have been.

An HIV test in six weeks will be a great indicator of your status, but only a test in three months will be considered definitive.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Thank you jkinatl2 for your fast reply. I will definately test myself at 6 weeks and then again at 3 months. It's always good though to hear words of advice and encourifment during the waiting period from someone who understands the situation.

Thank you jkinatl2 for your fast reply. I will definately test myself at 6 weeks and then again at 3 months. It's always good though to hear words of advice and encourifment during the waiting period from someone who understands the situation.

My honest gut feeling (which is not science) is that you will be OK.

Whatever happens in the virological world, I have faith that YOU. The person. Will be OK.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

As JK has said, you had a risk. But it was a low-level one. You were protected until the condom broke. And there was no ejaculation. Those are significant factors in your favor against transmission having occured.

I do expect you to come out of this ok. And assuming you test negative at 6 weeks then the strong likelihood is that you will continue to test negative at 3 months.

So I just got my six week result and it's negative. I want to tell you guys that i admire your patience to spend time and answer all the questions people ask. I think all the people who dedicate their time to answer us here are very honorable people, so thank you for that.

You are highly unlikely to go on to test positive when you confirm at the three month point, but you should still get that confirmatory test to be absolutely certain. Hiv is nothing to guess about.

Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks - and as a woman, you can take steps to ensure the condom is on your fella correctly.

There are two main causes of condom breakage.

One is not using enough water-based lube. Not using enough (or any) lube causes friction that may break the condom.

The other is having an air bubble in the tip. When a guy puts a condom on, he needs to pinch the tip between the finger and thumb of one hand, while rolling it down with the other.

Once it's on, he should give it a firm stroke from tip to base while watching the tip. If there is air in the tip, he'll see it. If there IS air in the tip, he needs to roll it back up and try again.

If it's dark and you/he can't see the tip well, when he does (what I call) the "stroke test", when he gets to the bottom of the stroke, he should keep a firm grip of the condom and penis at the base and touch the tip with his other hand.

If there IS air present, he'll feel the bubble making the tip stand up and away from the head of the penis. If there IS NO air, the tip will be sucked up tight against the head of the penis.

Once you are/he is sure there is no air bubble in the tip, apply plenty of water-based lube and go for it.

As a woman, you can put the condom on your guy to make sure it's on correctly and with no air inside. Even if he puts the condom on himself, you can still give him the stroke test before you let him enter you. I would strongly advise you to do it every time.

I would also advise that while having intercourse, you reach down periodically to make sure the condom is still on his penis. Any time you change positions, have a quick look or feel to make sure the condom is still on him and intact (not broken).

You can use the opportunity to also put more lube on him if needed. Keep in mind that you are far more likely than the guy is to know when more lube is needed. If the only lube available is saliva (not advisable but better than nothing and better than something oil-based) USE YOUR OWN to make sure you are well lubed (not for any fear of hiv). Just spit on your fingers and apply it where needed.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts