The first time I watched this clip, I thought exactly what all of you thought: Women sure are crazy bitches!

But every video in which a group of women savagely beat a trapped woman in an elevator requires context, and this one is no different. So after a couple views, I glanced down at the YouTube description of this particular assault, and I suddenly understood everything: "The camera in the elevator of a building in Sao Paulo city (Brazil)," it reads, "recorded the moment when four women fight over parking spaces."

PARKING SPACES. Before I moved to New York, I was a civil, pleasant driver from Vermont. I was generally considerate on the road, even if I drove too fast, and I'd never experienced anything close to road rage. Intersections in my town are the real-life version of that Portlandia sketch. That all changed when I arrived in New York in my '97 Subaru Impreza. Because I am cheap, and because the car I own is not the type of car that anyone is interested in (it's been broken into a few times; once the culprit simply left the contents of my glove box on the passenger's seat, just so I'd know they'd been there), I park on the street in Brooklyn. Theoretically, this is smart and economical; practically, it means that I have to move my car for street cleaning 2-3 times a week. Sometimes this is easy to do. Other times, I circle the neighborhood for up to an hour, craning my neck on every block and creeping up behind idling cars in the hope that they're leaving. They are never leaving. They are just hanging out, in my parking space. When this process finally ends, and I've found a spot somewhere out in Coney Island and walk the 18 miles home, I sometimes get angry. So angry that I honestly, truly understand the rage these women are in in this Sao Paulo elevator.

If I were to invent a narrative for this particular beat down, it would be simple: lady with the purple bag cut off the threesome for a parking spot, and then calmly made her way to the garage elevator, thinking she'd gotten away with it—until she reached the next floor. That's when the gang, clearly experienced in the very real horrors of losing a parking spot, caught up with her on the stairs.

"You stole our parking spot," says Gray Shirt, but in Portuguese, since we know from the video description that this occurred in "Sao Paulo city (Brazil)."

(The rest of the conversation is not transcribable, because I only speak so much Portuguese.)

Commence the beatdown. Purple Bag did not stand a chance—in part because the universe in all its glory has ways to punish parking space thieves, and in part because the women who attack her are absolutely vicious and determined and have already successfully cornered her in a tiny elevator with no way out. All it takes, really, is the first slap from Gray Shirt, and then they're going for her earrings and her hair (maybe they've done this before?), and then Purple Bag is on the ground and they're stomping her out while yelling, probably, "ISSO E O QUE ACONTECE COM LADROES DE ESPACO DE ESTACIONAMENTO COM FEIAS MALAS ROXAS" which is, as we all know, Portuguese for, "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO PARKING SPACE THIEVES WITH UGLY PURPLE BAGS."

Purple Bag manages to crawl out on the next floor, rather pathetically, but by then it's clear who won: She's the one who got the parking spot.

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