The Zombie Survival Guide

The Zombie Survival Guide is one of those books everyone should have. Sure, there aren’t to many zombie attacks, but you should be prepared. Just in case.

You’ll learn lots of great life lessons like zombie physiology and behavior, defense moves, weaponry and survival tips.

I know from bitter experience how ill-prepared local, state, and federal authorities are to deal with these outbreaks. It is only a matter of time before containment and cover-up are shown-up for the pathetic band-aid type responses they are; and we have a full-scale infestation that will have to be dealt with by the clueless.via Stoically – Somewhere in the Midwest

As a member of the living impaired community (zombie), I found this book perpetuated many hateful stereotypes of the recently deceased. First of all, we are not brainless. Indeed, I had fully three brains this morning for breakfast. Second, the overall tone of the book: brutal intolerance. The living impaired merely enjoy an alternative lifestyle in which we feed upon the organs of hated tropes within the social behaviors of teen movie culture. Don’t decapitate me. If you’ve got a beef, let’s sit down in the same room and you can really give me a piece of your mind. Your yummy delicious blood-filled mind. BRAINS!!!via Zombie William in NY

While most so-called “zombie-survival experts” explain that killing blows to the head are the best way to dispatch a zombie, the author of The Zombie Survival Guide goes even further, describing every possible zombie attack scenario and giving the reader the best advice. How can you fight zombies under water? What’s the best way to use a compound bow to dispatch the enemy? While chainsaws provide some psychological benefit in battle, are they really your best defense against the undead hordes?via Unknown

This is not an appropriate gift for your schizophrenic uncle who has trouble telling reality from fiction.via Captain Tetanus in Wisconsin

But will you be laughing when there’s your undead neighbor chewing on your brain? I didn’t think so. Get this book. Read it. Memorize it. Prepare.via UberOwen in California

The world is awash in zombies, as anyone can see by watching reality shows or news reports of political rallies. It’s only a matter of time before they march on your innocent community to devour the pre-softened brains of your loved ones. But rest assured that there is better practical advice available than the “put duct tape on your windows” gibberish that you get from government bureaucrats.via Some Doomsday person on Philadelphia

Do you like to live? Well, if so, you should read this book unless you want to be devoured by a bunch of undead flesh addict. If you do read it you will be prepared for the zombie apocalypse.via DFG in Spain