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The lady told me to make myself at home, so I shotgunned a bottle of
wine, masturbated then cried myself to sleep. Best job interview ever!

I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of
the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more
appealling!

A person may be inherently wise or experienced, but that means little or
nothing if he/she is perceived as a fool. I, on the other hand, am not a
great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. ~
Combination of The Princess Bride and "Building Pathology, An
Introduction"

So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.

Cop: ''Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ''It's water'' Cop:
''Sir, this is wine'' Me: ''What? Jesus! He did it again!''

Cop: ''Sir, what's in the bottle?'' Me: ''It's water.'' Cop: ''Sir, this is wine.'' Me: ''What? That Jesus! He did it again!''

Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!