I am writing this to say a warmHappy Eid-Ul-Adhato all Muslims brothers and sisters in all over the world. I hope we will follow the rules and laws of Islam and then will follow the path of perfection!

I'd like to say a specialHappy Eid-Ul-Adhato the friends who have performed Haj. They are called Haji Agha and Hajiye Khanom in Iran. I hope the big 'NO' which they have said to Satan-by throwing stones at its symbol- will guide them towards perfection all the time.

I may not find an opportunity to add something to Sharbanu's post. What she means is a Turkish ruler known as Suleiman the Magnificent, who greatly improved the Ottoman Empire in its government and culture. However, I am afraid I disagree with her. I think it mentions to prophet Suleiman, the son of David; one of the kings of Israel. His name has come in the Holy Koran. He could talk to animals, and had miraculous powers. In Azerbaijani language there are many poems which have similar meanings. For instance:

This world is transitory,
Who is staying in this world?
This world has brought Suleiman, the son of David down from his throne. [It means that when someone like him has left the world(has died) we will obviously die too!]

Heydar baba(this is a mountain's name in Azerbaijan, mainly in Hashtrud, where Shahreyar was born) the world is a big lie,(=is nothing),
This world is inheritance of Suleiman and Noah, (it means that such important men have left this world, but it still is remained! This phrase metaphorically means that when such great men have died we will obviously die too),
This world gives birth to son, and puts him into trouble and pain(metaphorically means that human beings are in pain and grief all the time),
It has taken back whatever has given to anybody,
Only a name is remained from Plato(an ancient Greek philosopher, who had a very great influence on European philosophy).

First of all, thank you for your posts, I really love your words and love learning from them.

Emm, Do you really think that my English is getting better?! Oh! Inshallah!
Sadly, these days, I don't use it as usual and I rarely chat in English. In fact, I don't know how the time flies but it does! By the way, so sorry about leaving so fast in our last chat, but I couldn't stay more and couldn't wait, I really wished we could talk..

You know, your guess was right, I have bought a new phone and downloaded some books so whenever I have some free time, I read. I don't know how that will effects on my English but I am trying my best...

In the end, I wish you and other friends a happy Eid, may all your days are full of joy and happiness.

* In Syria now we have a long holiday started from Friday and will end on Saturday.

Thank you is not strong enough to say in gratitude for what you have done for me during the long friendship I have had with you. You deserve the most special and warmest 'thank you' from the bottom of my heart.

Your English is excellent, and your way of writing is impressive, effective, and profound. You are so creative. The most important aspect of your writing skills is that you play with words. You are riding the words; they are not riding you!

It is extremely important for English learners to be confident enough to look at the English from somewhere above, in a way that not to be imprisoned by vocabulary and grammar. In other words, learners should not let the complexities of a language dominates them!

Your posts say that the English language is flexible for you. Congratulations!

Thank for your congratulation message to your friends for Eid Ghraban (Eid-Ul-Adha).
We had a party, and one of our family member who is Sayed ( a person who is descendant of prophet Mohammad PBUH) had invited us to his house. I enjoyed the Eid very much beside many relatives who was gathered in Sayed's house.

Also the day before Eid-ul-Adha is very important , it is called the day of Arafeh in Iran , and many people gather in mosques and read the Arafeh prayer. The Arafeh prayer was said by Imam Hussein ( the grand child of prophet Mohammad). This prayer is a miracle which said by Imam when he was in Haj pilgrimage 1400 years ago. It is the most beautiful prayer ( Dua) I have ever read . If you want to read it please go to the following website, it is written in Arabic and English translation.

Thank you for your advice , your writing is always practical , I try to make my wife busy , Tonight I incited her to read a book which I had borrowed from library. She read some pages and went to sleep , It is about 10 PM and I am sure she will be awake very soon.So I should finish my post soon.

Thank you very much for your reply. Thank you once again for sharing the address of that wonderful place. I really enjoyed reading some parts of it(Doae Arafeh). It was great.

Idleness can create some illness. That's why-maybe-Imam Ali(PBUH) has said, "Working is the best entertainment."

If a man would like to get completely rid of his wife's disturbance, he should make her busy with some routine tasks. The task must be routine, otherwise she will keep asking some questions when carrying it. This will lead to some other disturbance. Therefore, it's essentially important to give them some routine tasks.

If a lady gives birth to a baby, the man will become released from some prisons. However, a big amount of money is needed to spend on both the baby and the mother. Therefore, for a rich man, the easiest solution is making his wife become a mother! If a lady gives birth to two babies-like my case-she will forget her husband for a long period of time.

Joking aside, everything has got its advantages and disadvantages. Good sides and bad sides are always together. We cannot choose only the positive sides of something. They are always mixed. Nothing is perfect in the world. To say it in different words, there isn't any perfect situation in the world. This is a fact, however, our visualization of it is different. Everybody says this phrase 'Nothing is perfect', but only a few percent of people understand it.

Please spare time to read the below lines till the end. I loved it and hope you will like it too.

Pencil: I'm Sorry.
Eraser: For What? You Didn't Do Anything Wrong.
Pencil: I'm Sorry Cause You Get Hurt Because Of Me.
Whenever I Made A Mistake, You're Always There To Erase It.
But As You Make My Mistakes Vanish,
You Lose A Part Of Yourself.
You Get Smaller And Smaller Each Time.
Eraser: That's True. But I Don't Really Mind.
You See, I Was Made To Do This. I Was Made To Help You
Whenever You Do Something Wrong.
Even Though One Day, I Know I'll Be Gone
And You'll Replace Me With A New One,
I'm Actually Happy With My Job.
So Please, Stop Worrying.
I Hate Seeing You Sad.

Parents Are Like The Eraser
Whereas Their Children Are The Pencil.
They're Always There For Their Children,
Cleaning Up Their Mistakes.
Sometimes Along The Way...
They Get Hurt,
And Become Smaller
(Older, And Eventually Pass On).
Though Their Children Will Eventually Find Someone New
(Spouse)
But Parents Are Still Happy With What They Do For Their Children,
And Will Always Hate Seeing Their Precious Ones Worrying, Or Sad.

I Found This Conversation Between The Pencil And The Eraser Very Inspirational.

I am still searching for some routine tasks to make my wife busy with. As you know according to Islamic rules the woman is a treasure at home and the man should admired her too much , a man is not allowed to force her wife to cook at home or force her washing dishes and clothe , a man is not allowed to ask her wife to take care of child.
Because I have not enough money to employ a maid for my wife to help her for household chores , I have to do them myself most of the time.

Never think that I have not power to force her for doing the house holding affairs , I am not use to ask anybody to do something for me ,even my wife.

My wife has being fascinated by my characters , and day by day she love me more and more. If I want to give a grade to her love when we got married , I give 100 , but know her love grade to me is 1000.

Since her burning love to me , she omitted all of her friends and relatives from her life. She always says " you are the first and end of life for me." If I be late a little when coming back from office ,she calls me several times.see me off at morning and welcome to me at evening .Sometimes she has to go somewhere without me , she goes ,but with a wet eyes.

Her life is totally depends on me , if I die one day ,she will die the next day. How can I find for her an amusement which I have no rule in it , something that make her busy , God knows..!!
Once you recommended me for having a baby , My wife can't bear the baby voice for a minute , I also recommended her to continue her education , going to gym , take part in one of women associations, but nothing satisfied her.

Now she is asking me for eating dinner and watching the Pejman serial movie on TV.

First of all, let me say 'Happy Eid-Al-Ghadir' to you and to all Shiite friends. I hope we will be the real followers of Imam Ali(PBUH). Following someone is acting and reacting like him/her.

I read your last post three times. I think this post is different from others. In other words, this Mohsen sounds different from the Mohsen who has written the previous posts!

Mohsen wrote:I am still searching for some routine tasks to make my wife busy with. As you know according to Islamic rules the woman is a treasure at home and the man should admired her too much , a man is not allowed to force her wife to cook at home or force her washing dishes and clothe , a man is not allowed to ask her wife to take care of child.
Because I have not enough money to employ a maid for my wife to help her for household chores , I have to do them myself most of the time.

I know what you mean. In Islam, mothers can demand money from fathers for the breast milk! As you have mentioned, women do not have to do household chores. They are also exempted from fighting battles. There is a big question: What is the use of women in an Islamic society? The answer of this question can be a big insult to women!

I totally disagree with inactivity of women in the society. I believe, women and men have to shoulder the responsibilities that life gives them! Certainly they have rational differences, abilities and capabilities, but those things cannot cause women to be passive in the society.

Mohsen wrote:My wife has being fascinated by my characters , and day by day she love me more and more. If I want to give a grade to her love when we got married , I give 100 , but know her love grade to me is 1000.

Oh, wonderful! So happy to read this paragraph. Her mark shows a dramatic increase in love and love-based things. How lucky you are! I wish you everlasting happiness and good lucks.

Mohsen wrote:Since her burning love to me , she omitted all of her friends and relatives from her life. She always says " you are the first and end of life for me." If I be late a little when coming back from office ,she calls me several times.see me off at morning and welcome to me at evening .Sometimes she has to go somewhere without me , she goes ,but with a wet eyes.

How romantic! I wish you happy moments. This sounds very nice.

Mohsen wrote:Once you recommended me for having a baby , My wife can't bear the baby voice for a minute ,...

Oh my God! This statement is against other paragraphs! Why Mohsen? In answering to my big question someone might say, "The main responsibility of women is giving birth, then keeping the generation going". However, frankly speaking, your wife apparently abdicates her responsibility in giving birth!

The love among couples is an excuse to attract them to each other and to persuade them into having children! Well, people are different and they have different attitudes towards life. However, I believe, the main philosophy of the attraction between two genders is keeping the generation going! What is the philosophy of gay-marriage(same-sex marriage)?

In the holy Koran, God HAVE said that putting kindness and friendliness among couples' hearts is one of his great signs, and it creates calmness! The question is this: Why have you created panic? If there were no panic, there were no need for calmness!

If we deeply think about these things we will realize that all the feelings, needs, emotions and desires are necessary for building such a complex system!

Why have you created such a system? God SAY in the holy Koran that HE HAVE created humankind to worship him! What is the need for this worship? Is God competing with other Gods?

It is said that the worship is an opportunity for people to get complete! The use of worship is just for the worshipers. I don't understand the need of such a complex game!

It seems that using 'I', without considering God and HIS role in the universe, is not possible! On the one hand, this thought satisfies my curiosity, on the other hand it opens the door of a room full of unanswered questions!

Thanks for your post , thank for your congratulation message to your shiite friends for Eid-Ghadir , As you know ,in that day Prophet Mohammad(PBUH) chose Imam Ali(AS) as his successor, Prophet took the Imam Ali's hand up in front of people and said" Ali is the mawla of whom I am mawla" and in this place ( Ghadir) the verse revealed to Allah’s Messenger “This day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Surah Al Maidah, 5:3] , according to Shiite belief.

If you are interested to read more about Ghadir event there are many website ,but read it via following address.

Dear Behnam , there many defects in people behaviour ,as we are not perfect. Man's not perfect.. Of course it should not be an excuse for people to do wrong things and say " man is fallible" but regretfully we do it ,even sometime keep insist on doing wrong things.

I don't know my wife is lazy or lacking in motivation. But she has got used to put every little jobs on my shoulder. These days she is suffering from pain in her spine, tomorrow I should take her to visit a doctor who I 've already made an appointment . I wish she could visit the doctor alone ,and don't waste my evening, she is able to drive car , but she like me to be her driver and to be with me all times. I have advised her not rely on me on every little things.Women are free to drive in Iran.

Today I was explaining for her that how miserable are the women in Saudi Arabia ,as they are not allowed to drive car. What I get from the policy of Saudi government is that they are trying to downgrade the feature of Islam in the world, Why Saudi government opposes the women driving ? Many news agencies and presses had many reports about the action of Saudi , BBC repeat this news many times , why ? what is behind of this policy? What is the relation of Saudi and Uk?
All the best,
Mohsen

Tonight my wife was speaking by phone , and I had the option to be with own job , I had time to open the website and look at the pages. About half an hour ago my wife decided to call her sister because she felt that she had missed her sister. I was very happy as I always asked her to call her family members and friends and speak as long as possible. But nowadays she is a little cautious; she read the news about USA surveillance of phone commutation throughout the world. NSA is an organization which spy for USA by controlling phones, eavesdropping on people communication . Now my wife is afraid of speaking by phone specially for long period.
I was laughing at her sentences when she said " my phone is controlled "
I told her my dear what is important in your speaking with your relatives and friends , don't be afraid , they control the phone of important people like Angela Merkel .
Now it is revealed that the USA embassies has been armed with espionage systems all over the world . God bless Edward Snowden who is revealing the real face of USA government for people of the world, this is the fact which was claimed by some students in Tehran when they captured the USA embassy 33 year ago ,but at that time nobody believed them , and their claim was condemned by many countries at that time .
"Today's friends maybe become future's enemies" this is the slogans of USA government for interfering and spying in other countries. How this claim is absurd and impudent.

In a mother’s womb were two babies.
One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?”
The other replies, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”
“Nonsense,” says the other. “There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?”
“I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths.”
The other says, “This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short.”
“I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here.”
The other replies, “No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere.”
“Well, I don’t know,” says the other, “but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us.”
“Mother?!” You believe in mother? Where is she now?”
“She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world.”
“I don’t see her, so it’s only logical that she doesn’t exist.”
To which the other replied, “sometimes when you’re silent you can hear her, you can sense her. I believe there is a reality after delivery and we’re here to prepare ourselves for that reality.”

So many thanks for your posts. I loved reading the story. It was interesting.

Dear Mohsen, on Saturday, 9th of November, I will be in Shahin Shahr(Malek ashtar University of Technology). I am there to give PhD interview. 6 people are invited to have interview. I rank first among them. Please wish me luck in the interview.

Hi Behnam,
I hope you had a good interview for your PHD, wish you were successful .
I had no time during last days , because every evening I was in Imam Hussein ceremony for 9 days and tomorrow is the most sad and mournful day in human being history (the 10th of Moharam).
Imam Hussain was the grandson of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, through his daughter, Lady Fatima and son-in-law, Imam Ali, peace be upon them all.
In less than half a day on the 10th of Muharram ( Ashura) in the year 680 A.D. (61 A.H.), on the hot desert sands of Karbala in Iraq, Imam Hussain(as), and 72 of his family members, friends and followers, including his 6 month old infant son, were martyred under most gruesome circumstances. These included His brother Hazrat Abbas (as) the standard bearer, His young 18 yr old son Ali Akber & his 4 year old daughter Sakina who died while in prison in Damascus. The Oppressive ruler; Yazid son of Mu'awiya son of Abu Sufiyan & his very large army of over 30,000 men, committed these heinous crimes against the small group which included the household of the Prophet. Lady Zainub (sister of Imam Hussain) also played a key role especially subsequent to the battle to inform people of the truth.

The group, including the six-month infant Ali Asgar, was without food and water for 3 days before their martyrdom. Ali Asgar was martyred thirsty in his father's arms when his tender throat was pierced by a three-pointed poisoned arrow, while his father implored the tyrants to allow water to the infant, after all his other companions were martyred at their hands.

Imam Hussain resolved to defend his thirsty entourage from the killer army’s onslaught, rather than submit to their forcible extraction of allegiance to a criminal despotic regime which used the name of Islam. He was going to stand to his principle to defend True Islam, even though he might be the last man standing with no support, no help.

The martyrs were beheaded & their heads were put on spears, while their corpses were trampled upon and left unburied. The ordeal did not stop at this as the women and children in the Imam's entourage were held captives and tortured while being led on an arduous journey to Damascus to be paraded and later imprisoned . The only male survivor was Imam Zainul Abideen (as) son of Imam Hussain (as) who was ill at that time, yet chained & repeatedly beaten. He subsequently wrote a 'Treatise on Rights' & a monumental prayer book called Sahifa Kamila.
In the history of Islam, al‑Husayn ibn 'Ali, the martyr of Karbala, wrote one of the most brilliant chapters; a chapter which still and after more than fourteen centuries, echoes in the minds and hearts of Muslims everywhere. It is remarked by a modern Muslim writer that 'With every Karbala Islam is renewed'.

Edward Gibbon (1737-1794) considered the greatest British historian of his time. Wrote “In a distant age and climate the tragic scene of the death of Hussein will awaken the sympathy of the coldest reader." [The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, London, 1911, volume 5, pp. 391-2]

To be honest and straight forward with you, only hard work will NOT promote you in your professional life. There are several other aspects of your overall personality which are accounted for your growth. When I say overall personality, I mean your outer and inner personality. And when I say Outer personality, I mean your verbal (when you speak) and non-verbal (when you are not speaking) features of your personality. Together I call it "Corporate Image". In this article I shall cover sure fire techniques to improve your Corporate Image. But please bear in mind that the hardware will always be the prime and foremost aspect of your growth.

Well, let us understand first why you should give importance to your official image?

Why Personal branding is important?

In your routine official life, you are being observed by your team lead, managers and/or senior managers on how you work, behave, speak, act, react, meet, greet, resolve and so on. All these observations are contributing towards your overall image. This image analysis is being done by the management for everyone. So when it comes to new opportunity or project in the department, it will be awarded to the one having good professional or corporate image.

Here are the things which you need to work on to promote your corporate image:

1-THINK BIG:

It all starts from your brain. Good Mind Good Find. It is as simple as that. Focusing on your thoughts will give maturity to your speech and actions which consequently would result in great personality. If you think you should only work on the physical appearance factor of your personality by looking nice through branded coats, pants and other accessories; it is going to result in a disaster since it will be equivalent to a bitter toffee in a nice wrap. Once the wrap is removed, the toffee is going to give a bad taste anyway.

2-WORK BIG:

Try to get engaged in more and more projects. If you really want to do task you will find a way to do it, if you don't, you will find an excuse so grab more tasks; off course not at the cost of your family life. Try to meet expectation as much as possible. Done go to your boss with a problem without solution. Develop skills such as problem solving, analytical Skills and creativity. Be efficient, confident, sharp, dynamic in your day to day life.

3-TALK BIG:

Be socially active, do not skip meetings. Try to give your positive and optimistic opinion as much as you can. Say hello to everyone. Be enthusiastic, humorous and friendly. Do not miss any telephone calls. Avoid reacting. Treating everyone with equal respect, Avoid irritating & negative comments. Build a vocabulary of positive words. Use and practice these again and again. Develop effective communications skills.

4-LOOK BIG:

Physical appearance matters a lot. Whether you are sitting in a meeting or walking in office or just working from your chair, you need to look confident. Your posture should portray your confident personality. When you are meeting with someone, try to work on your First Impression. Ask yourself whether the person is going to call you a Decent chap? Rough? Polite? Nice or what?. Your way of handshaking, standing/sitting, smiling, eye contact, shoes, dressing, voice, physical fitness, remembering names matter a lot. Do you have old suits in your wardrobe? Get rid of them. Do you have old hair style for some time? Change it. Do you use same colors of clothes? Buy new. Do you talk too quietly or too loudly? Change your tone. . Remember, you don't need to be in high end tuxedo for great impression, you can achieve the same by having a simple life style.

5-BEHAVE BIG:

Live an ethical life . Your personality should reminder others as a confident, honest, friendly, organized, creative, trustworthy and decent but mature person. Help others whenever it is required. Seek first to understand then to be understood. Don't impose your decisions on someone. Listen emphatically. Listen more and speak less.

Conclusion:

Hard work is definitely the key to success however you need to work on several aspects of your personality to move on your professional ladder. Always remember that consistency in your actions is critically important. Your inconsistent behavior is an indication of your non-predictive personality due to which people won't trust you.
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Thank you very much for writing about the great revolution of Imam Hussein against Yazid Ebn-E-Mavie! What he has done is a big lesson for not only Muslims, but also for all people in all over the world. What is that big lesson? Actually, What Imam Hussein and his followers or supporters did in Karbala teach everyone about all aspects of life. For example, believers must water the tree of faith with their blood when it is necessary. Karbala clearly clarifies the duty of sister, brother, child, wife, husband, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, etc.

The majority of people do not pay close attention to the colourful painting that Imam Hussein has painted in Karbala. They only look through a narrow angle, may put themselves in his position and then become sad and cry. It is very good to cry for Imam Hussein and his great supporters, but the cry must be done wisely. Some people imagine themselves to be in similar situations. They say, "What would I do if I were in their situation in Karbala? What would I do if I lost my son?" These thoughts make them cry, but it is useless. We should know that the poets we write or the stories we tell about Karbala are our own reactions to a similar situation. In almost all cases, we insult Imam Hussein and his great supporters and family by our silly words. Why? Money is involved!

In my opinion, we must be proud of having such a great Imam who has lived honourably and has given his blood, his family, his brothers, his sons, his followers and relatives, etc. to his faith; Islam! What is Islam? How to live freely and honourably under the umbrella of God! This is Islam.

It should be kept in mind that every era has got its Yazid and Karbala. Therefore, it is our duty to know the Yazid of our own era and the Karbala(the battle) AND most importantly, to play our role! Karbala wasn't an only opportunity for a limited number of people to enter Heaven directly. We should have faith in repeating this process- happening this event- in all eras in our everyday lives. In other words, it is the philosophy of history of humanity-the battle between fact and fake-happening continuously like days and nights. Why? To give people the chance to choose. To choose what? To choose which side they are going to be on!

I am proud of Imam Hussein. I never cry for those great men who lived and died bravely, but I cry for myself; for my smallness and littleness. I cry for being the slave of my stomach! I cry for being the slave of my desires and needs. I cry for being the salve of my passion. I cry for being the slave of my body. How shameful it is to cry for some heroes who lived and died honourably.

Finally, I cry for those stupid brainless people who killed the grandson of their Prophet Muhammad. Who was Muhammad(PBUH)? Muhammad was sent by God; who started Islam in Mecca and made a great empire from some wild groups of Arab people. Yes, that's an undeniable fact that before Muhammad Arab groups were not civilized. They were killing their daughters. They were fighting with each other over silly things.

My question is this: How could they kill Hussein when they knew who he was? It is written in the history that when Shemr( لعنة الله علیه ) was cutting Imam Husein's neck said, "People witness that I am not cutting his throat because Muhammad has kissed this place. I am cutting his neck from back side instead!" How devilish! How shameful!
السلام علی الحسین و علی اولاد الحسین و علی الصحاب الحسین و لعن الله امّة قتلتکم

It just took 50 years from when the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) raised the Imam Ali’s hand and nominated him as his succession in Ghdir to when the Shemr raised the Iman Hussien’ head on spear , From when they burned the door of Hazrat Zahra (SW) to when they drag ged her daughter (Hazarat Zainab) in plain of Karbala to show her the death bodies of her kin, it just took 50 years.

Did you see the movies of rebel in Syria , how he cut the chest of a death and took out his liver ,when I saw this scene I remembered the Muawiya’s mother when she cut the chest of Hazarat Hamzeh ( SW) and took his liver out, chewed it and spat it out.

You had a question (My question is this: How could they kill Hussein when they knew who he was?)
The basic of the cruelties come back to Madina , when the Islam was deviated from right path after the death of prophet , and it is continued to present time , you see how Suadi Arabi ,Ghatar, Bahrain , Emerate …so on support the rebels in Syria , and when the rebels fired their weapons they say Allah Akaber, The same as the Yazid troop when they were killing the Imam Hussein and his forces , the cried Allah Akaber , and after they killed all of them ,they did their prayer to thank God.

If the Force of Hezbullah from Lebanon didn’t come to help Syrian army , it doesn’t clear what has happened in Syria .
About 35 years ago the force of Hezbullah organized by Dr Chamran ( God bless him) in South of Lebanan and the y are real followers of Imam Hussien ,also we are happy that we can help them by all efforts.

Dear Behnam ,I don’t agree with you about crying for Imam Hussien is useless. In fact I don’t want to open the discussion about it ,but sometimes the order which placed by God , we can not analyse them correctly by our small brain.
As Imam Sadegh (God bless him) said “all creatures of skies and earth, birds, animals, jinn, mankind and angels have participate and participating in this crying.”

Finally the mourning finished and we mourners killed Imam Hussein and became quiet! On 'Ashura' I took my wife to her parents' quarter. At noon, they finished the mourning and people ran towards the mosque to be served by 'Gheyme'(a cooked food containing rice, small pieces of meat, shelled peas and fried potato). I was talking to someone. Suddenly, he broke the conversation and ran towards the mosque, saying, "we will talk later, now it is time to eat 'Gheyme-e-Imam Hussein'! "Hurry up! Hurry up!", he was advising me! You know what I am saying. I won't explain further!

To tell you the truth, when I was writing that paragraph, I knew that would make you show your sensitivity! However, I want you to pay close attention to what I've written; to read it as carefully as possible. Let's once again look at what I've written:

behnam wrote:It is very good to cry for Imam Hussein and his great supporters, but the cry must be done wisely. Some people imagine themselves to be in similar situations. They say, "What would I do if I were in their situation in Karbala? What would I do if I lost my son?" These thoughts make them cry, but it is useless.

I'm not saying that crying for Imam Hussein is useless. What I mean is crying for our own problems; for example, crying for our lost goats or sheep, instead of wisely thinking about the philosophy of Imam Hussein's great revolution and taking lessons from it. In a nutshell, as I have put it, crying must be done wisely, not blindly!

Some people say, "من بکی او ابکی او تباکی وجب له الجنة ", but it can't be true. Crying must be done for some special purposes such as making people aware of the great revolution, showing how cruel the enemies have been, teaching people how to live, how to keep the faith, etc. Remembering our own misery and difficulties such as losing our goats, having bed-related problems with our wives and husbands, having car accident, being bald, getting old, etc.and crying for them when mourning is USELESS!

Thanks, I got it. You are right, the ritual ceremony should be done wisely , I believe that words and thoughts should be appeared in acts, it should be placed in the nature of people .Their deeds ,interactions,moods and totally their life should be according what they say in words
You see that people say their prayer 5 times in a day and ten times say "We just worship you and we ask for your help" but I can say that nobody is able to act this sentence 100%, maybe 90% of people say this sentence ,but never think about it wisely and never perform their life according to it.

How are you? I hope you are fine. I am happy I could make my point clear to you. I do agree with you. The vast majority of Muslims (me included) pray five times a day. As you have pointed it out correctly and wisely, they say "ایّاک نعبد و ایّاک نستعین " ten times in 24 hours. However, they (me included) are lying. This is one of the biggest lies that a human can tell! A very long time ago, I was discussing with a friend of mine about praying. I said "ان الصلاة تنهی عن الفحشا و المنکر ". My friend laughed at me and said, "Come on! Many thieves and criminals pray five times a day like other Muslims". I laughed and replied, "They are not praying. Actually, they are acting habitually". Yes, that is true. We can do something from habit, but it is USELESS!

When evaluating and judging on people (well, sometimes it is necessary to evaluate someone's actions. For instance, when a girl or her family is making decision on either accepting a boy's proposal or not, they have to evaluate his personality), they should pay close attention to see if he is an honest person or not. Is he a loyal person? Is he a compassionate person? Some qualities cannot become habits. Nobody can say, "I always tell the truth from habit"! However, praying can become a habit, although it is not a bad one.

As you know, I had two interviews two weeks ago. One of them was in Isfahan (Shahin Shahr). The other one was in Bonab(near Tabriz). From the questions they asked me, I could easily evaluate the quality of the universities. I don't want to write the details here. However, I'd like to say that great people ask great questions!

Before marriage, I visited some girls at their houses, in order to get familiar with each other. As you know, since you are an experienced man (LOL), in such cases, the families sit in the living room and let the boy and the girl talk in an open-door room (LOL). The door must be open, you know the reason! Anyway, in one of the meetings, I talked with a physician(doctor). She asked me some silly questions such as what my favourite colour or food or hobby, etc. was! What was my birth month (to check my horoscope!). For the first meeting, these questions sounded ridiculous! I won't tell you what I said to the girl in answering to her stupid questions!

Before writing this paragraph, my wife called me for lunch. There was pickle on the table. Apparently, a friend of my wife had given it as a gift. The vegetables weren't balanced and they weren't chopped rightly. I said to myself, "Behnam, write it that even from chopping an onion, it is possible to judge on her skills"!

I have digressed! Why am I writing these things? I don't know.

Whatever I write cannot be stronger than that famous saying 'actions speak louder than words'!

Hi Behnam,
I hope you enjoy and taking pleasure in your favourite autumn.

My goal for pointing out the problem of what we say in our prayer as the words and sentences ,and our actions which don't comply with that words and sentence is that we are not allowed to say that we don't say the prayer anymore because we don't think wisely and don't act what we say. The same view for ritual ceremony for Imam Hussein, although what mattered is our deed which has a big distance with the words we say.

Some people apparently living in joy by making themselves amusement. One of the critics of the ritual ceremony in my family is a close relative of my wife. She seriously critics people and what they do in the first ten days of Moharam in the mosques and streets .She states that the ceremony spoils her joy. Include herself as a rational people which never take part in such a ceremonies and base on her Islamic belief she bring me her reasons.

I try not to laugh at her when we have discussion because I know to whom I am discussing . Of course I never start discussing with her ,she always like to say her idea about everything.

Her job is to decorate the wedding ceremony table( سفره عقد) . She use a lot of time to decorate some objects in the table for some crazy people who give her a lot of money. Also she is a special cook . she spends a lot of time to prepare a kind of delicious food for some lazy people for special ceremony and get a lot of money. Her favourite TV channel is Manoto . ( a satellite channel which work on the mind of such a people) .In summery what she does is related to the some parts of body just under the neck. Of course she says her prayer and also read Quran. I say nothing to her about the words and sentences she says and her actions «یَعْلَمُونَ ظاهِرا مِنَ الحَیاةِ الدُّنْیا وَ هُمْ عَنِ الآخِرَةِ هُمْ غافِلُونَ», because these people are blind and deaf. She is very kind to me and sometime she forget that I am a man, belong to another woman.

I write about her because she is in my house now and she is speaking with my wife loudly in the living room. Sometime I go to the other room and interfere in her discussion, because I afraid that she deceive my wife.

She is an skilful lady ,she know about preparing all kind of pickles , food, and confectioneries. She is also a tailor for women. She knows how to make handicrafts ,even a carpet weaver. A good driver, swimmer and knows about all kind of music style and plays drum (تنبک).
Once she told me that she had gathered an orchestra at her home ( 40 people) and they play and singing until the morning.

Thank you for your wonderful posts. Apparently, great ladies come to your home to visit your wife! However, I have asked my wife to finish having any sort of friendship with single girls. I believe a married lady should form friendships with married ones. Keeping contact with single girls(by a married lady) can be poisonous to a couples' happy marriage. Haven't you ever heard that birds of a feather flock together?

For making these shocking words clear, some explanation is necessary. Suppose a single girl is visiting a married one. The married one asks the single one some things like these, "What about marriage? Are you dating with someone? Have you got someone under your pillow? Have you set traps for catching your Mr. Right? Etc." How would she answer to these questions? It depends on many factors such as her mood at that time, her personality, her emotions, ...! What she says as a reply may affect the mood of the married lady positively or negatively. For example, suppose she says, "I prefer to have my freedom. I hate to cook and wash up everyday. I am not stupid to tolerate someone's nags all the time. I am my own boss...." These insincere replies may affect the married lady's life negatively. In some cases, such things are destructive.

She may say, "Oh my friend. You were lucky. You met a wonderful man. Girls envy your wonderful life. They wish they could met their Mr. Right as you did. Oh, you should pray to God for such a great success. .."! However, girls are naturally jealous. Their jealousy does not let them be wise and reply wisely. Therefore, such replies are rare!

To be honest, I have had both of them, both cases in my life. No matter a lady is highly educated or illiterate, they have the same emotions and feelings. As a matter of fact, all human beings have got both destructive and constructive emotions. Education cannot change our nature. Some men fool themselves and say, "My wife is a professor, or a doctor, she is different! she is not an easy prey." Unfortunately, statistics show that highly educated ladies are not skillful enough to manage such difficulties in life. Education(memorizing some facts without being able to analyze and digest them) is different from wisdom.

Dear Mohsen, don't let that lady come to your home, but I suggest you going to her home and enjoying your life. She can be ....! Pardon my French! Hahahahahahahahaha....

Hi friends,
I am tired of texting. Today, from the beginning of the day until a few seconds ago, I was texting to a friend. My fingers are numb now and I feel I am not OK! I came here to spend some time on writing. It relieves me!

A person was making herself/himself ready for IELTS exam. S/he intends to leave Iran and to study PhD in another country. That person asked me for some help with their English skills. One of the questions which is convenient to share with you was about 'rephrasing'. As you know, in writing module, the candidates have to write an essay. They give them a topic and want them to write an essay about it. The candidates should repeat the topic with a different structure in the introductory paragraph; however, the meaning must be kept. This is called 'rephrasing'!

Suppose the topic is about something like this: Children watch too much television these days. It causes them to lose their creativity. Do you agree or disagree?

How can we rephrase it? As you know, a word can preform a variety functions. It can be a noun phrase, an adjective phrase, etc.We should use different structures that mean the same. Read the following sentences:

1-Children watch too much television; as a result, they lose creativity. 2-Children watch too much television; consequently, they lose creativity. 3-Children watch too much television; therefore, they lose creativity. 4-Children watch too much television; hence, they lose creativity. 5-Children watch too much television; because of this, they lose creativity. 6-Children are so interested in television that they lose creativity.7- Children watch so much television that they lose creativity.8-Children watch so many TV programs that they lose creativity.9-Children lose creative ability since they watch so much TV.10-Children lose creative ability because they watch so much TV.11-Children lose creative ability because of the fact that they watch so much TV.12- Watching too much television is the reason for loss of creative ability.13- Watching too much television is responsible for loss of creative ability.14- Watching too much television leads to loss of creative ability.15- Watching too much television contributes to loss of creative ability.16- Watching too much television results loss of creative ability.17- Watching too much television causes loss of creative ability.18- Loss of creativity results from watching too much television.19- Loss of creativity follows from watching too much television.20- Loss of creativity is due to watching too much television.21- Loss of creativity is a result of watching too much television.22- Loss of creativity is a consequence of watching too much television.23- Watching too much television kills creativity.24- Watching too much television takes away creativity.25- Watching too much television stifles creativity.26- Watching too much television discourages creativity.
..............

You can add many similar structures. I am sure about it.

I just wanted to change my mood by writing this post. I hope that is useful.

ooh! dear brother Behnam thank you so much, you increase our knowledge.. you are a great teacher HEAD TEACHER!.Thank you for teaching us.By the way,I m so curious , could you please kindly let me know who you were texting to today?

How are you? I hope you are fine. Thank you for parsing me. You are a great teacher yourself.

About the friend I was texting to, unfortunately, I cannot share her/his name here. Maybe, s/he doesn't agree to have her/his name shared in this place. I am sure, you are a wise lady. You can take a guess quite easily. S/he has been absent from this thread for a long time. I was missed for him/her. I hope to read his/her wonderful, full of emotions and energetic posts soon. I hope so!

That's ok. dear brother.I'm good at guessing but this time I can't guess his/her name:) it doesn't matter .You are always kind to your friends.Behnam you have a golden heart.I wonder how such a golden heart pumps blood into your vessels. Hearts are supposed to be made of meat, but yours is made of gold!
bye for now....miss you :)

Your comments make me happy. You are very kind and friendly. I am proud of having a sister like you. Thank you very much for posting your friendly posts in this thread.

The price of gold is decreasing radically in Iran. I wish my heart was made of something more valuable than gold. What could it be? I don't know! What's the most valuable thing in the world? I guess this varies from person to person. For me, the most valuable thing in the world is satisfying God! What is your most valuable things?

I was reading a report in a daily newspaper which was focusing on the causes of divorce in some countries(my country was included). Statistics show that the rate of divorce is increasing and the rate of marriage is decreasing in some countries. Experts have their own views on the causes and these issues have being discussed for a long time. As a matter of fact, the rate of registered divorces is high, but in reality it is higher than what is going on in the societies. A new phenomenon- Emotional Divorce-is not considered in statistics! What does it mean? It means that there are many officially married couples; living under the same roof, but haven't got any emotional involvements with each other! These couples are tolerating each other. They are actually not living. In some cases, despite having serious problems, couples tolerate each other because they have got children. They don't want their children to grow up in a single-parent family! However, some couples are emotionally divorced, whereas they haven't got any children! Unfortunately, this type of marriage is common among educated couples!!! Why?

This is a strange thing. There are limited sources to see and gather data about this phenomenon. It is hard to dig this issue more, because you cannot ask people to share their personal things, like in-bed quality, with others! How silly it would be, or what would you receive in response if you asked someone if s/he made love regularly and normally or not? You might receive a punch in the stomach. Don't try it!

Fortunately, for a basic primary study, you don't need to ask couples about their private lives. Although it is quite impossible to go to Mars and experience living there, scientists apply universal rules and guess how life could be on other planets. Similarly, you may not know what is going on among 'Emotionally Divorced' couples, but you can guess what is not going on!

One of the not-going-on things is conversation. They don't know how to talk with each other. They are both educated, but they don't know how to talk with each other! This is unbelievable, but we have to believe it!

Many people don't know how to make a constructive conversation. They lack the art of conversation. They speak; put words together and build sentences, but they don't understand the language of each other! Don't get me wrong! They are both from the same country and their mother tongue is the same! Why? Maybe, they don't listen to each other. Maybe their ears are closed!

In some aspects, conversation is similar to house-building. We have to make a strong foundation first, then put bricks on each other, using cement among them to keep them fixed, ...! Putting bricks with different shapes on each other without using cement result in nothing! You will finally have a pile of ruin! It is neither brick, nor cement! They are inseparable, worse than the initial states they had!

We should respect diplomacy. We should learn how to talk. Talking is different from barking! We need to talk wisely! Who am I writing to? Believe me, I am writing these things without thinking about someone. This is one of our serious everyday problems in this modern world with New Phenomena!

I have to leave right now. I have no time to check the mistakes and to correct them. So sorry!

I read your post about report in the newspaper which focusing on divorce. In fact, I think these days the divorce is increasing because both men and women become independent and both of them have their interests which are different from each other. Therefore, they lose the communication. Above that, nowadays, everything is changing, men are changing and women are changing. The value of morality and loyalty has changed too. So it's normal to see such marriages and divorces!

Dear, How is your marriage? Or maybe, I shouldn't ask! I maybe receive a punch in the stomach!

Your suggestion about going to that lady's home is tempting, especially for me, because my wife from time to time stays at her mother's home and some nights I am alone until the morning like tonight. Also that lady is a special case, she lost her husband in a car accident few years ago and now she is single. it is difficult for a married woman to continue her life singly. I think it is my duty to help her ,for seeking of God I should help her and save her from depression.
At first when I read your suggestion, my judge was unfair; I told myself that Behnam is one the Satan's soldier. But tonight I changed my mind, you are right, I am alone tonight and she is alone at her house. I will call her and make a decision whether she comes to my house or I go to her house. You know that there is a difference between having a visit with a woman and a girl. The girls should have permission from her parents,but woman doesn't need. I am talking about Islamic limits. As I told you she is special case. I can visit her without making sin and consider that I may save her from deviation ,I receive reward from God.

Now I am sinking in my thoughts ,your enticing suggestion. I can't focus on anything else. I read you detail description about divorce. Thank you , you right it excellently. But I didn't get a part of it "A new phenomenon- Emotional Divorce-is not considered in statistics! What does it mean? It means that there are many officially married couples; living under the same roof, but haven't got any emotional involvements with each other!"

What is emotional divorce , and why when it doesn't consider in statistics , it means that registered married couples haven't got emotional involvements?

I was in Tehran international spare parts and car exhibition for two days , I humbly requested my boss to left me alone and visited the exhibition without me . but he didn't responded to my plea and took me to this journey by force ( God may make his life short) . I really don't like travelling , visiting fair ,coming back with a bag full of catalogues ,DVDs and echantillons.

Your post made me extremely happy. Thank you very much. You write beautifully. I love your writings VERY much.

In answer to your question, my marriage is happy. We've got many emotional involvements with each other!

Dear Amal, there is a channel on TV entitled 'Press TV'! It is in English. I seldom watch TV, but if I have a chance to watch it, I watch 'Press TV' which broadcasts global news. The news about your country makes my heart painful. The war has made Syria go back to stone age. Some sections of Damascus is actually a pile of ruins! I hope they will make an agreement in coming conference in Geneva!

Mohsen wrote:I can visit her without making sin and consider that I may save her from deviation ,I receive reward from God.

Hi Mohsen,

I am sure your wife isn't aware of your posts. What you have written is challenging. Visiting someone isn't forbidden and then sinful.You may mean something else by 'visiting'! How can you save a widow from deviation(as you have put it) by visiting her? How skilful you are! By the way, what do you mean by 'deviation'? You have written such challenging vague things, because you have found the thread empty from brave ladies. When the cat is away the mice play!

Mohsen wrote:What is emotional divorce , and why when it doesn't consider in statistics, it means that registered married couples haven't got emotional involvements?

Suppose you decide to carry out a study on the rate of divorce or marriage in a society. What will you do? You may go to some registry offices where the information about registered marriages and divorces is kept. After gathering some data you may conclude that, in big cities, one in three marriages ends in divorce! This is 'called statistical study' of an issue.

However, there are some couples. They are living under the same roof, but they have nothing to do with each other. They are married, but they don't have any marital activities! These people have marital problems, but they haven't went to a registry office to get divorced and register it!

Dear Mohsen, joking aside, the lady you are speaking about is an occasional case, but I guess you don't dare to take this golden opportunity. You either feel afraid of your wife, or you are not strong enough to handle the issues! Islam is in danger man! Why don't you hammer the nail of Islam in kofr-threatening land?

There are legal behaviours which are allowed by law, Deviation is when someone infringe the law. What is the law? The law in our society is the rules that God develops in order to have whole people following it.

Surly my wife doesn't know about my post, good deed should be done in hidden ,charity should be paid in secret.

When people who were men of true piety and devoted their life to God, have fallen in love ,lost their faith and couldn't control their feeling .What should I expect myself , I am not more faithful than Shiekh Sanan.

Shiekh Sanan who was living in Mecca, left there and went to RUOM, There he saw a beautiful Christian girl. He fell into passionate love with the young girl, forgetting his place among his followers and his prominence as a learned and spiritual pious Muslim.
The girl, who was much younger than the Sheik refused his love and instead asked him to perform impossible tasks, throwing obstacles in his way in order to change his mind. She asked him to worship an idol (highest crime in Islam), burn the Quran, drink wine (forbidden in Islam) and finally to lose his faith in Islam. Of all four requests the Sheik only agreed to drinking wine and asked the girl to forewent the other three.
The girl then asked for the Sheik to become a Christian. He agreed to her demand and changed his religion. Having seen no hope in averting the Sheik's love, the girl asked for him to provide her with dowry money. The Sheik, having lost his faith and gotten into the habit of drinking, responded that he neither had spiritual wealth nor material possessions. The young girl feels sorry for him and instead of a dowry asks him to attend to her hog farm (a sacrilege in Islam) for one year.
Having Bewildered by Sheik's apparent state of lost spirituality and craze, his followers tried to find a way to rescue him. They asked one of his Morid "devout followers" who was away at the time of his departure from Mecca, to come and lend a hand. The follower went to Ruom and found the Sheik in the pathetic state of raising pigs! He then asked the followers to pray for the Sheik for forty days, asking God to bring back the Sheik in to the path of righteousness.
After forty days, the prophet Mohammed came to the Morid's dream and informed him of God's will to return Sheik's sanity back to him. As for the girl, she waked up one morning and realized what she had done to the Sheik and asked forgiveness from God, becomes a Muslim and follows him as her spiritual leader.
You see Behnam , I have not Morid to pray for me ,I have a friend who encourage me to hummer the nail .
What do you expect me , I am alone tonight and bewildered

Sorry I don't write here often but I'm following your beautiful posts.

These days I'm trying to chat with many people as much as I can to make my English better, hope I reach my goal.

Most of the chatter are not nice like you.

Although I'm using chat rooms for the people who want to practice English, they only need to use facebook or skype or exchange photos.

The chat conversation is always short it's all about introducing yourself no more after you finish with the person no longer talk, every day I have to start with new one with the same start no longer conversation, I think it doesn't help me to practice English.

Anyway I'll keep chatting till I see what will happen.

I only like this thread very much but the problem with me I don't find any topic to talk about, No exchange.

I like what Mohsen wrote about his family life, he reminds me of myself, I also help my wife in every household chore including taking care of our kids, I'm changing the diapers for my baby and helping him sleep, hanging the washing etc

I'm not shay to say that because I believe democrat husband should help his wife, this will make his wife love him much much more.

I believe that the man who said that women should work Injustice her because how can she work beside her household chore, and most of the time she share her salary at home.

And after the man came back after work he just sit and watch TV while she start her house chore although both of them came from work, how comes!

I help her in everything because I believe that married life is all about sharing.

Wife is always blamed if she take care of her children and the household chore and omitted her husband.

In this cold weather, feeling nostalgic about the old days, missing my friends and their words, although I am early, I may not have the chance to say 'Merry Christmas' to my Christian friends at the right time. Therefore, I'd like to take this opportunity to say a warm 'Merry Christmas' to the people who celebrate the birth of Jesus(PBUH)! I'd like to say 'Happy New Year' to you too. I hope 2014 will bring more peace, success, happiness, and prosperity to all people in all over the world.

How are you? I hope you are fine. I didn't know you are in love with that lady. If I had known, I'd have prayed for you.

You are lucky Mohsen since your heart-taker, in-love-maker, beloved angel, sweet soul-mate is neither Christian nor in Rome! You don't need to take a great effort to hammer the nail of Islam, since the land is so close to you and ready to reap! The only thing you need is some courage or bravery.

I still don't know what deviation is and how you are going to prevent her from deviation. Would you mind explaining more?

Welcome back! How is life there? I hope all is going well with you. Thank you for your posts.

Life has become too complicated to live! In comparison with the past, women have more freedom and liberty. They have improved their general knowledge and have received their degrees from universities. They have participated in many social activities and work market. However, something is wrong! I believe there is something wrong with people!

First, we should keep in mind that for some people knowing something is more dangerous than being ignorant about it. Women know many things, but those things aren't useful for them. They know how to work, how to drive, how to earn money, how to design, etc. but they have less necessary skills.

From the time I have seen the world around myself, my parents have been working shoulder-to-shoulder. Well, there are some chores that my mother is more skillful and good at. For example, my mother cooks much better than my father, so she seldom wants my father to cook. She doesn't need my father to prove his love by cooking. He has proven his pure love in other areas of life.

On the other hand, my father is very good at doing the shopping. Therefore, he does it almost all the time.

Old couples are happier than young ones, since they are more sincere and honest with each other. However, young couples don't believe each other. They must prove themselves! How? One way for men to prove themselves is being a yes-man! Amazingly, husbands have to prove themselves to their wives; wives don't need to prove themselves to their husbands.

It is a fact that men and women are different. Wise couples respect the differences. However, those differences cause fool couples either compete or fight with each other. You cannot expect a bull to give milk, similarly, you cannot expect a cow to reap farms! Everything has got its special talents, abilities, and capabilities.

I don't oppose working at home and helping my wife, but these things can never make me a good husband. I have to take responsibilities and try in other areas of life.

I've got nothing to do, nowhere to go, tired and bored, killing time! Writing is the only soothing thing. Sometimes, I think of writing a book, but I don't know in which field the book should be written, about Physics or something general. I wish you could help me with choosing a subject for writing.

Today, 2 friends of mine separately came to my office and asked me for solutions to some problems about Modern Physics and Quantum Mechanics. I solved the problems perfectly and explained the solutions understandably. One of them was in my office for about 2 hours. We discussed many physical phenomena. He said, 'Behnam, why don't you write a book? You think differently and look at things from different angels. I am sure many students will pray for you after reading your down-to-earth way of describing things." I laughed at him and said, "Come on man! Physics is an isolated area in the Third World." I added something to give a reason for my opinion but I'd rather not write it here!

Oh, I forgot to say that the main reason for writing this post is correcting a big mistake which is made in my previous post.

Although surely you have understood what is meant by this sentence, it is unusual and meaningless, because 'REAP' is used incorrectly. It must be 'PLOUGH' which is done by oxen! Therefore, the sentence must be 'You cannot expect an ox to give milk, similarly, you cannot expect a cow to plough the field'.

My final point for today is challenging: Loneliness and singlism are threatening humanity in this century. The role of women in coping with these disastrous problems; which are both the products of Capitalism is crucially important, is crucially important. What is the solution? Following the instructions of God in the Holy Koran. What? Allowing men to have more than one wife!

If you look for an excuse to write a post just follow my strategy: Make some mistakes in one post and correct your mistakes in another one!

behnam wrote:We discussed many physical phenomena. He said, 'Behnam, why don't you write a book? You think differently and look at things from different angels.

It must be angles not 'angels', but that's funny to look at things of different angels!!!

I was in a hurry when writing the previous post in my office. Actually, a friend of mine was waiting for me at the door. We had to attend at a meeting. I lost my concentration because he kept saying, "Behnam, hurry up, Behnam we are late!" That's why I forgot to write my famous 'All the best, Behnam, ..... '! By the way, 'Crucially important' is repeated unwillingly. Sorry for making many mistakes. I apologize! Honestly speaking, they(mistakes) provide me with an excuse to write.

I agree with you about helping your wife in the house affairs, when there is love between couples, they try to treat kindly, overtake each other to settle down the house and help more, the house is not a battle ground, it is a love ground.

I also agree with Behnam's idea that woman and man have some skills in different aspects of life. so the works should be totally divided between them according to the skills , the nature of woman heart is more tender than man,so the child is more calm in her mother 's arm, especially when she milks.But the couple's life should not be divided between lines and duties; we are not living in police station or a work place. The regulations in house is flexible ,there are much possibilities for the both sides to help each other.

I generally don't agree that woman works outside. Unfortunately most of jobs have been recently captured by woman in our society , and women believes that it is the women progress while it is a reactionary idea ,what make our society close to west systems is regression not progress.

Thanks for your congratulation message to Christians for Christmas. Because there is no one in the this forum, I thanks behalf of them. Luckily the Yalda night is in front of us , and we should be ready for the longest night of the year.

The shops are overflowed with different fruits, candies and meats . Fortunately the watermelons are cheaper than last year, in my city the price is between 400 to 600 Toman/kgs ( about one sixth of dollar) , I bought a box of orange ( 20 Kgs) 1800 Toman/kgs which has wonderful taste , juicy and thin skin . It was called Birjandi orange, of course I bought it directly from main distributer in vegetable mall, so the price is cheaper than usual one.

Something wrong about the women who lost her husband is loyalty . It is said that a good woman and loyal woman is the one who doesn't marry again ,if she lose her husband in an accident.
The woman should kill her wishes,sexall passions because of a wrong culture ( the people and relative talks and gossips).This is the deviation risks

One the staffs in my work place lost his wife because of cancer , he remarried with a girl after passing 30 day from death of his late wife . Many people cursed him , because he was expected at to waited at least for 40 days . because 40 days ceremony is current in our society . but he bravery did his marriage and claimed that it was difficult for him not to arm a girl in bed ,even for one night.

I want to wish you a happy birthday my great friend, I really don't know how the life would be without you, you've lightened my life and for sure other friends' lives!
I know it's still early but I want to be the first person who says that to you!

Dear, sorry about my late reply, I wanted to write one long time ago but sadly because the electricity is off most of the time, I delayed the matter.

However, finally today I decided to write something. Since I hate to let you waiting and maybe it would make me relax and let me forget the war which is going between my mind and heart! I thought this war will end today and I will be able to write with a clear mind but sadly it didn't! Uh!
I just chose to rely on god!

By the way your challenge point is really important and it should be discussed seriously...

I think the lack of loyalty and trust are the main factors in this problem. If men and women were faithful to each other, the society would be healthy.

Another factor should be considered too is the high dowry, which girls' families always care about without any understanding of the circumstances of young people!

The girls' families think that they are protecting their daughters but they don't know that they are ,on the same hand, reducing her chances of getting married!
Our prophet Mohamad said:
اذا اتاكم
من ترضون دينه و خلقه فزوجوه الا تفعلو تكن فتنة في
الارض

In result, our "dimension of religion?" is an important reason for this phenomenon..
In my idea if girls' families started to follow our prophet's rule and started to understand and help young men, their girls' lives would be much happier and that would increase their chances of getting married...

In fact, what attracted me is your solution! Dear, don't you think that god has allowed men to marry more than once, without any conditions or controls?!

I mean there should be some reasons for them to remarry, what if their wives were perfect?! what if the men weren't able to justice?! don't you think that would cost more problems and invalidate the requirement of marriage more than once?!

For me, as I told you before, I don't have any problems with being single but I hate it when someone enters my life and starts playing with my feelings and thoughts and let me think of the whole marriage matter again!!!

Let me stop talking about this subject now and start with another one...

You said that you that you watch Press TV when the chance is possible, believe it or not, I also used to watch it in the past too! Their English is very clear so I took it as a way to improve mine!

However, after a while I became very sensitive and the news started to make a big harm to me since it's speaking about my beloved country and the situation here.

It's really something dramatical to watch the people who you used to live with are killed and the places which you used to go are destroyed! Meanwhile, you can do nothing! It really breaks my heart!

Then, I dislike the way which the media is dealing with our matter.
For exa, they just focus on the things which serve their OWN benefits not Syrian people's benefits!

On the other hand, I think that whatever is shown on TV is meaningless. Since it change nothing and it doesn't effect on decision makers, so what's the point of hearing it?! Decision makers are happy with what's happening here and I don't think that they want to end it.
Therefore, I don't have much hope on the conference in Geneva!

You cannot imagine how happy I became when I saw your post. It made me extremely happy. Thank you very much for participating in reading the posts and posting your views in the thread. You have proved that you are a sincere person. You have kept the contact with the thread for years. This is very valuable. Thank you very much indeed.

One of the things we all need is stability. In particular, stability in friendship brings comfort to us. Some people are unpredictable and fickle. No matter they are friends, lovers, husbands or wives, etc. they are always unpredictable. Sometimes, they are too much hot in a way that their hotness burns you. Sometimes they are frigid in a way that their coldness freezes you! People who are fluctuating between the maximum and the minimum cannot be successful at all. 'Love me little, but love me long' is an appropriate saying for this discussion.

Another thing we all need is tolerance. If we want to live on the Earth together, we have to tolerate each other. We are absolutely different. We have got different cultures, beliefs, religions, values, tastes, ideas, opinions, field of views, philosophies, etc. These differences are really beautiful. They seem amazing if we look on the bright side of them. They beautifully show the high capability of humanity.

I was taking part in a course at my workplace. It was about management skills. At the beginning the professor, who has a degree in the humanities, asked a very good question. "According to Islam, for everything, a relevant donation( زکات) is considered. For example, the donation
of knowledge is spreading(teaching) it", he said and then asked, "what is the donation of wisdom(العقل)?" Everybody said something, but nobody could give the right answer. He himself wrote on the board while he was saying, "قال علی (ع): زکات العقل تحمل الجاهل"[Imam Ali(PBUH) has said, "Tolerating fools is the donation of wisdom"] . We got surprised. We all found that saying wonderful.

Wise people have to tolerate fools, although it is too difficult to tolerate them. However, this seems to be impossible when close friendship or particular relationship such as marriage comes to considering. Men and women have got different levels of wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, talents, skills, abilities, capabilities, etc. When making friends, getting married, establishing a relationship, etc. we must take these factors into account, otherwise sooner or later we will meet the failure in the life.

Let's assume that an educated lady(these days in Iran, if you randomly point at a girl in the street, she will have at least a BSc or BA degree) has married to a man with a lower level of degree in terms of education. What would happen to her marital life if she kept comparing her degree with her husband's degree? Suppose the lady is a very obedient and kind person, but the man is brutal, how could the lady tolerate such cruelty and violence? Why should she do that? These things make life complicated and unbearable. That's why Islam has strictly recommended that couples should be at the same level of wisdom, knowledge, wealth, etc.

What am I saying? I guess I have digressed! Well, we are human beings and the Earth is the only place for us to live. There is no mankind on the other planets. Therefore, neither can we send or fools to, for instance, Mars nor we can bring some proper people to keep the balance between the fool and the wise in the societies. What can we do?

Justice is the key. If justice goes out from the window, misery will come in from the door! How can we bring justice to a society? I don't know how, I'd rather not discuss, but I am sure Capitalism isn't a proper ideology. Why? Because it widens the gap between the poor and the rich. What happens then? This is the first step of misery. This will bring other complicated problems that we are all facing with in the world now. A society may claim it is governed by Islamic rule, but it spreads Capitalism practically. Actions speak louder than words.

I agree with you that TV channels are following their own benefits. This is the rule. In addition to that, there is a world difference between speaking about something-which TV channels often do-and the facts which are going on in a society. But, honestly speaking, Syria's conflict makes me sad and disappointed. We should all know that this conflict is, on the one hand, a result of laziness, naivety, timidity, and silliness. On the other hand, it is one of the products of fundamentalism and foolishness. Syrian people MUST wake up and find a way themselves!

About 'dowry', I didn't get your point. In Iran, girls' families give property or money to boys when they marry. This is ridiculous and insulting. I disagree with this traditional custom. For more details, you can ask our expert Mohsen. I am sure he knows the philosophy behind 'dowry'. I personally think it is unreasonable to bring up a beautiful girl for many years and provide her with property or money and finally give her to a boy...! Why? To make her feel like a mother? To keep the generation going? I don't know!
...........

About loyalty, let me say bravely and safely that you cannot find even one loyal man in the world. Loyalty is against men's nature. Forget those candy-coated words that men often say to their lovers. It is one of the rules in the game which is called life! How can you expect someone not to eat anything when s/he has got stomach? Women should understand that men are totally different from them. They must be different. Nothing is wrong with those differences.

Men fool women and women fool men! This is a historical game. Let's not fantasize about love and lovers. Love is a feeling to fool people into marrying and starting families. This beautiful word is invited to be said in order to fulfill our needs. Necessity is the mother of invention. From the beginning of the history men have learned they must lie in order to get closer to women. If they said, "I've got something, and you've got something else. These complete each other. In other words, I need yours, you need mine. Let's ...!", certainly women wouldn't agree. Men might have to apply force to fulfill their needs. Some men might use force to get what they needed, but little by little they have learned to pursue a different strategy in order to derive much pleasure from women! Therefore, they have put their heads together and invited 'love'. Instead of saying directly what you want or revealing your needs, it is better to coat your intention with sugar or some sweet substance to tame women! 'I love you' is a powerful sentence! Some naughty advisers advise people to learn 'I love you' in different languages. Well, this is a useful tool for people who want to taste different... Different what? I don't know...

Tonight is the longest night of the year on the Northern Hemisphere. Iranian people celebrate this night. They sit around and eat dried nuts and fruits. This night is called 'Yalda'. It is a girl name too. In Iran, you can find many women who are named 'Yalda'. Iranian Azerbaijanis call it Chilla Gejasi, which means the beginning of the first 40 days of winter. For further information please either go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yald%C4%81 or ask our expert Mohsen!
به صد یلدا الهی زنده باشی
انار و سیب و انگور خورده باشی
اگر یلدای دیگر من نباشم
تو باشی و تو باشی و تو باشی

Once a year I get the chance
To wish you birthday cheer.
It pleases me no end to say,
I wish you another great year.
So happy birthday to you ,Behnam,
From the bottom of my heart.
And may your good times multiply,
Till they’re flying off the chart!

How are you? How is life in Najafabad? I hope everything is going well with you. Here, the weather is dangerously polluted. I suffer from this polluted weather. I feel some pain in my lungs when there are pollutants in the air. I am wearing a filter, but it doesn't help.

Thank you so much for your nice post which was, as always, full of feelings. I'd like to confess that we are still friends. Nothing can kill our pure human feelings to each other. We may make some conclusions or have some expectations in accordance with our assumptions, which are usually different from the facts, but we shouldn't let those things break the tree of unconditional friendship. This tree is holy since it reflects our past. We have to water it and protect it from damages.

Well, the philosophy of friendship may differ from person to person and from time to time, but what matters is the existence of a philosophy in friendship which gives us the excuse to either form a new friendship or keep the old one. I believe, as long as people have got a philosophy, no matter it is an extensive one or a limited one, they should follow it provided that the philosophy brings them some benefits, either spiritual or material. Oh, this subject is delicate. I may make you confused. Let's move on it!

Posting in this thread, using my favourite colour in writing, may make you think that I am the same Behnam, with the same passion and full of enthusiasm, but you are one hundred percent wrong! I am not the same Behnam. White hairs on my cheeks and chin loudly say that Behnam is old. Not only does my body yell that its owner is old, but also my feelings say that leaving time is close to coming. Actually, I am writing to inform my friends that I am still alive. This comes from my loyalty to friendship and friends. Nothing else can keep me here!

I'd like to say 'Merry Christmas'to all my Christian friends. May Jesus Christ, Prophet of love & peace, bless us all on this day. Wishing Merry Christmas to those celebrating, especially Iranian Christians.

An old friend of mine has put off messages on my 'Yahoo Messenger' account and has asked two important questions. First of all, I'd like to thank this good friend for reading the posts carefully and paying attention to them closely.

The first question is about my philosophy of friendship. I've written that the philosophy of friendship may change with the times. That's normal. In addition to that, people can develop their philosophies. When a philosophy doesn't work in a particular situation, we have to either change it or change the situation. Determined people first try to change or review the situation. If they cannot change it, they wisely develop their philosophies to make them adapted to the situation.

The kinds of relationship between people can be different. Some people are our relatives. Some others are our colleagues. Some people are our friends. Some of them are special to us. Some are strangers, etc. Among friends, some of them are close friends. Some others are not that close. Like many quantitative parameters, friendship can be quantified by some numbers. For example, we can give number 100 to an ideal friendship, and number 0 to a neutral person in our lives. Definitely, our enemies will fall into minus side of this scale and will get negative numbers.

Ideal friendship isn't an absolute thing. People have different ideas about it. Its definition varies from person to person. Someone, in his/her frame of reference, may give 100 to his/her friendship with somebody, but this person(somebody:) ) may quantify the friendship with another number. Well, people have different frame of references, consequent results of different philosophies.

What is philosophy? The meaning of philosophy is 'the attitude or set of ideas that guides the behaviour of a person or organization'. We can change our ideas or modify them or make them more suitable for the situation we are in. In other words, we can change our frame of reference, our scale of measurement.

The second question was actually a comment on my view about the definition of love which has come in the post written to dear Amal. As I have written, love is only a feeling young people experience it when the nature makes them ready(fool them) to look for their Mr/Mrs right, to get married and start families. This is noun-negotiable. This is not optional. We don't choose this feeling. The nature gives it to us. By the way, knowing this fact should not make us disappointed, because it is something common among us. All I am saying is briefly that 'love is an instinctive feeling'. It is the trick of nature to fool us and cause us to marry and keep the generation going. Nature knows how to fool us. She is (has been)successful.

Another friend of mine has asked the meaning of "..my feeling says leaving time is close to coming...". The meaning is clear, but maybe it has been shocking. Well, when you have white hairs on your cheeks, chin, chest, ..., it means you are old. When you've got a broken heart, and you suffer from a heart operation, you feel that it is time to leave this earthy world. We will all leave this world, sooner or later. This is a fact. We shouldn't fool ourselves. Don't worry! Bad things never die! (بادنجان بم آفت نداره )

Hi Behnam,
Hope you are fine, it is said that a person is young while he feels love,and you have time as long as you love.
You said that love is an instinctive feeling , I agree, but it is not like feeling thirst or hunger. Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. also love needs its conditions, the sexual desire would be crucial to create the love. Normally love creates between two opposite sex. What makes two opposite sex to be in love , the sexual desire is an instinctive feeling ,so it creates love. My reason is why love always creates between two opposite sexes.

The second point is the environment. For example a man who works with several girls in his work place ,he has working relations with her colleagues ,but there is more possible circumstances for his madness , beautiful gardens with scenic beauty providing an icing on the cake to the strong feeling of love and blossoming romance between a girl and a boy head over heels in love
The third point is the movies , people believe that their real world as what they watch in a movie, the stories which are shown on the celluloid about love to create a misconception intentionally or unintentionally that love is a beautiful experience and an inevitable part of our lives.

Mohsen wrote:Normally love creates between two opposite sex. What makes two opposite sex to be in love , the sexual desire is an instinctive feeling ,so it creates love. My reason is why love always creates between two opposite sexes.

Hi Mohsen,

Many thanks for expressing your opinion about the topic. I totally agree with your first paragraph. If we dig deeper to see what creates love, we will immediately realise that two hormones are playing the main role. According to scientists, Testosterone and Oestrogen are responsible for the mail and female qualities respectively. How those substances work? That is mysterious. However, it is a proven fact that if you change the levels of those hormones in someone's body, their male or female qualities will change. For example, if the level of Testosterone goes up in a girl's body, she may have beard and mustache. For the same reason, Testosterone has caused me to get bald.

Your second and third paragraph both are different from the first one. In the first paragraph you are explaining love, but in the rest of the post you are mentioning to two nice points which are quite different from the discussed topic. Those points are actually two possible answers to the potential question 'what triggers the love?' or 'What makes the love start?'

Talking about love is not easy, since it is one of the signs of God, as He Has said in the Holy Koran, Rome-22. However, from philosophy point of view, it is quite obvious that necessity creates love. Generally speaking, incompleteness creates needs, and needs create movements towards fulfillment. These are steps towards perfection!

Let me digress for a moment. Physics is really beautiful. Physics helps people think beautifully. If we want to understand the universe, we have to know Physics. If we want to be a good physicist we have to deeply understand cause and effect. Not only do we have to understand it, but also we have to love and respect this main principle of the universe.

In order to get more, we have to analyse those two responsible hormones. How do they work? What are those hormones made from? When I was studying at university, I got interested in Physiology of Arthur Guyton. I read some chapters. It was(is) a useful book. However, nobody can answer to this question, "What causes the right opposite sexes(people who have the right amount of those hormones in their bodies) to attract each other?" This is mysterious and miraculous. To make people have an image about it I often say, "Suppose men and women are like empty egg cartons. They have mountains and valleys. The mountains go inside the valleys easily and they become stable. This is what we can see in the world of materials. Now, suppose such mountains and valleys exist in our spirits(in the spiritual world which is not deniable). Although they are invisible, the effect of them is sensible, and that is the attraction we feel and call it love."

Something crossed my mind a few seconds ago. As you may now, in terms of their behaviour in an external magnetic field, materials categorized into three groups. They are either Paramagnetic, or Diamagnetic, or Ferromagnetic. Paramagnetism is a form of magnetism whereby certain materials are attracted by an externally applied magnetic field. In contrast with this behavior, diamagnetic materials are repelled by magnetic fields. Ferromagnetism is the basic mechanism by which certain materials (such as iron) form permanent magnets, or are attracted to magnets. Now, suppose God has created(has put) an external magnetic filed in the universe. Philosophically speaking, we can consider necessity(incompleteness) as an external magnetic field. Now, consider one of the hormones( Testosterone or Oestrogen) to behave like Paramagnetic materials and the other one to behave like Diamagnetic objects. These materials may attract each other when they are exposed to an external field which we have already named them 'incompleteness'! Wonderful, fantastic!

Thanks dear for writing that "explanation post" to me and other friends.. I was too worried about you and I even write an off but there was no answer!
Your words were verrrrry shocking! I couldn't sleep that night when I read them! YOU ARE OLD???!!!! And you are speaking about leaving time???!!! Oh my god!!! just some white hears on your chest let you feel so??!!!!!! What should my father say???!!! He is older than you and he had a heart operation, too. He is still working and ,by the way, his job is very hard and important! But he doesn't complain and he doesn't speak about leaving time!!!

Dear Behnam again I am sorry for being late in reply, I am not stone-hearted but my grandma is sick and we took her to the hospital. Above that, the electricity was off last two days... And NO, I didn't get married because these days there are a lot of males but there is no men! I will tell you the rest of that story when we chat inshallah..

Anyway, thanksss a lot for " The Smell Of Love!", I loved reading the both parts, I even read them many times... You are smart! "as usual" I love your life philosophy...

In one of your posts, you were confused about what field of books you can write, so why don't you write about your life philosophy?! I am sure it would be a great book and it would take a big success in all over the world..

About "dowry"I didn't get your point too! Why should girls' families give money for the boys??!!! As you said it's insulting!
Then why do you always say "ask Mohsen"?! Well, I will ask Mohsen... but why don't you speak and explain to us about your traditions?! why do you always feel that you aren't a part of that society?!

Behnam, what I meant by dowry and what is happening here is that girls' families ask a high "مؤخر و مقدم" for their girls and that means that the boy here who should pay the money, they also ask for gold and a house too... The girls' families here pay nothing except the cost of the engagement party.

So what I was saying is: If the girls families just have a little sympathy with the boys and didn't ask for a high amount of money, spinsterhood matter would be solved!

Dear, I heard that in Iran the government force the girls to wear the hejab, is that right?! Why should they do that?! what is the point behind this action?!

Don't you think that they should give them the freedom to choose and decide what they want?! Another thing came to my mind, if god himself, when he put the rules, he put them and left the choice to us and let us choose between the bad and the good thing, therefore the government shouldn't force them!

When we are forced to do sth, it becomes like a habit or a costume not a religious matter! And it doesn't show if the person were a believer or not..

For example, here most of the women who hide their faces and cover them with black hejab are bad, they hide their action with this costume and try to deludes people that they are religious women..
Therefore, whenever someone ask me why don't I hide my face, I immediately say NO! And the bad idea about the women who wear it come to my mind!! They completely spoiled the meaning of it.

The same thing happened when when we force a bad girl to wear the hejab, it will give a bad idea for others about it -especially for non-Muslims..
For sure the next generation will hate the hejab just because of this irresponsible action.

So many thanks for your motivational post. It includes some nice points and some challenging questions.

[amal] wrote:Then why do you always say "ask Mohsen"?! Well, I will ask Mohsen... but why don't you speak and explain to us about your traditions?! why do you always feel that you aren't a part of that society?!

Obviously, each individual, in accordance with his/her skills, talents and interests, likes and dislikes, etc. is expert at some special and limited areas. Nobody can claim that s/he is expert in all areas. As far as I know, our friend Mohsen is an eagle-eyed person when it comes to social based issues. In addition, I'd like to motivate him to be more active, because I love reading his posts.

[amal] wrote:Dear, I heard that in Iran the government force the girls to wear the hejab, is that right?! Why should they do that?! what is the point behind this action?!

To be honest with you, I don't know whether the government or any other organization forces females to wear Hejab. My wife and all the ladies in my relatives wear Hejab, no matter if the government puts pressures on it or not. We are Muslim and we have been Muslim for years. I personally do believe in Hejab and this belief is not affected by the action of others. If all people in the world opposed the Islamic Hejab, I'd support it! I do mean what I am saying.

Let's assume that the government or some organizations put emphasize on wearing Hejab. I support them. We are living in an Islamic country, so we are supposed to follow the instructions of Islam. Thankfully, Hejab is clearly mentioned in the Holy Koran, so there is no rooms or excuses for misinterpretation.

In an Islamic society, women have to wear Hejab. If the don't cover their bodies, they threaten the mental health of the society. How? Well, men get excited by seeing sexual scenes while there is nowhere to satisfy their desires. In some countries sex industry is legal, so men welcome sexual excitement, because they easily can go to some legal places and do what they like by paying a little money. In an Islamic country, sex industry is illegal. For the sake of safety and health, Islamic rules about Hejab MUST be followed completely.

In my view, women who respect themselves and want me to respect them NEVER put her bodies on display. If they trigger my sexual desires without offering a solution for that, it will be like showing a glass of ice-water to a thirsty person in the summer and describing the quality of it! It is cruel. Even in forests, in wildlife animals do not do like that! If you are not going to give me a glass of water, at least don't remind my the water and its benefits. Don't make me more thirsty!

[amal] wrote:The same thing happened when when we force a bad girl to wear the hejab, it will give a bad idea for others about it -especially for non-Muslims.

A bad girl may have some good tempting things! In this case, the philosophy of forcing her to cover her body is protecting others from danger, not that bad girl, although Hejab can be useful even for that bad girl too.

There are many social problems in the societies. Hejab is one of them. Sometimes, the authorities purposely close their eyes to important areas of life such as economy, corruption, health, unemployment, etc. and draw attention to some minor problems. This is not acceptable. An Islamic country MUST smell Islam in all areas.

I have to leave right now. I guess this topic is worth discussing more and deeper.

It was sad to hear that your grandmother is sick. I wish health to your grandmother. May Allah protect her from all illness.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.

Some people blame physicists for being cold and strict. In order to deny this false accusation, I am putting the letter of Richard Feynman to his dead wife! I leave the judgement to you.

In June 1945, the 27-year-old physicist Richard Feynman lost his wife, Arline Feynman, to tuberculosis. Only 25 years old, she was Richard’s high-school sweetheart. And yet she was much more. As Lawrence Krauss writes in 2012 biography on Feynman:
Richard and Arline were soul mates. They were not clones of each other, but symbiotic opposites – each completed the other. Arline admired Richard’s obvious scientific brilliance, and Richard clearly adored the fact that she loved and understood things he could barely appreciate at the time. But what they shared, most of all, was a love of life and a spirit of adventure.

October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.

I feel like writing. Why not? I used to write in this thread and although for some good reasons I stopped it, today again I feel like writing here. Part of me is in Let's learn together. Part of true me is in here and I can decide weather or not to write in it.

There are some thoughts in my mind right now. One of them is a question I'm asking myself :" How can we have opinions about things? " What makes us an opinionated person?"

Last night I watched " Casabelanca" . As I've heard it's a very famous movie.
What makes a film famous? I watched it, but if you ask me to give my opinion about it, I really don't know what to say. I just can say, it was good. I liked some of the features of the main character of the film. He was somehow serious and strict but full of emotion. I liked his personality as a "MAN"! I don't know what words I can use to describe him as a MAN but I just know he was attractive as a man.
But if you ask me about the story, I don't know how to talk about. So I wonder how I should be able to discuss sth?

I read a book today. I had heard about it. It's " kafe piano" ! after reading it , now, I wonder how I should judge it?

I think it needs experience.You should have read many books and watched too much movies and know many things to be able to have opinions about sth.

Anyway, right now I'm lack of enough information and experience to discuss things.

Dear Behnam has written about love. I think I'm familiar with love. I don't care what love is for in reality, or why god has created it, to make men and women make love and have babies or other things.
I just like to like it. Love is beautiful and makes life worth to live. I like love for itself and I'd like to believe love exists just for the sake of love. For those great feelings we have while we're in love. For the beauty and sweetness it adds to our lives. For the wonderful moments it creates between two persons. For sure love is a creator, a great creator.What dose it create? The good feelings that love brings with itself, the peace that it gives to our moments, the wonderful smell it spreads all over our life, most importantly the beauty of a great connection that loves makes between two heart, two soul and two body is a magic.

I love love and ask for more and more of it. Love is essence of life. I love to breath it.
Nothing is comparable with liking some one deeply. No feeling is comparable with it when you some where deep down feel " you love some one" ! It warms your heart , soul and body and you don't want to change it with anything else in the world.

A baby can be the fruit of a beautiful love but I don't believe it's the reason for it. It may just be an ideal but I don't care.

I'd like to say 'Happy New Year' to those use Gregorian calendar. I hope 2014 will bring more happiness, peace, health, and prosperity. I also hope you will make some good New Year Resolutions and will STICK to them! I wish you good luck and lasting happiness.

In fact the burden of explaining about dowry fell to me , well , I do it

First it is better to know what the dowry is, or what we speak about it as a dowry. We have two kinds of dowries, the dowry which is given to bride by bride groom' family and the dowry which is taken to bride groom house by bride's family.
The dowry which is on boy'charge is called Mehr ( mehrieh),it is written officially in a document as a marriage contract. That is included the following items

1-A copy of holy book ( Quran) ,
2- traditionally the amount of prophet 'daughter ( Hazarat Fatima) ,the dowry which Imam Ali (AS) gave to her wife ,as a blessing is inserted in this document.
3- A special Mirror
4- Gold , a set ( necklace ,bracelet ,earrings )
5- Pilgrimage to Mecca
6- The ownership of a house or a part of a house should be officially given to girl.

All of the articles in this document are negotiable and before the wedding ceremony , both families come to the agreement in amicably atmosphere.

It is better to know that in Iran marriage has two steps , first the girl and boy officially are registered as a wife and husband , in this step the the amount of dowry which is undertaken by boy fixed ,and it is written on a paper as a document ,the close relatives sign the document as witnesses . In this step relatives and friends from both families gather in big saloon and received by fruits , ice-cream, drinks , confectioneries , and special marriage contract cake.
Before the ceremony starts , the bride was taken to hairdresser salon and the bride groom decorate his car with flowers and pick up the bride from hairdresser salon and comes to the party .
During the ceremony bride and bride groom sit in special place and a clergy man invites the couple to declare their consent by addressing them some special words and sentences. After the bride answers positively , they are called wife and husband. Then the couple divided the cake ,the cake distributed among the people in saloon.

The dowry which is given by bride's family is called Tocher. The apparatuses and furniture which are taken by the bride to her husband's house is called "Tocher". This word is taken from Arabic word "jahaz" or "jahiziyeh"
The preparing bride's tocher is one of the most important things. Here under we are going to make a list of things that usually includes in the bride's tocher.
1) Bride and groom's bedroom furniture: It includes double bed, end tables, commode, dresser, bed sheets and pillow clothes. Some extra bedclothes, bed sheets and pillow covers for guest. Some bedclothes, bed sheets, and pillow covers for guest.
2) Proper curtains for each window for example: curtain for kitchen, bedrooms and living room.
3) Living room furniture, dinner table and chairs.
4) Carpet
5) Vacuum
6) Decorative things such as pictures, drawings and different statuettes.
7) Clock or horologe.
8) Library
9) Refrigerator (Refrigerator)
10) One set of chinaware and porelain dishes or plates
11) Washing machine
12) Gas burner (over)
13) One set of autoclave, stew pan and pan.
14) Crystal dishes for different purposes. Utensil and kitchenware.
15) Few sets of glasses
16) Tableware.
17) Samovar, and teapot. Plus a teaset
18) Set of spoon and fork
19) Sets of Fork and knife plus dessert plates.
20) Knife, colander and ladle
21) Water bottle, flask, cruse and glassware
22) Boxes of castor or condiment and spice boxes place for the tea, sugar, and sugar loaf 23) Kitchen apron and towels
24) Fridge Special utensils
25) Boskets and plastic dustbins in different sizes
26) Trencher and special boards for cutting meat and green vegetables
27) Electrical mill 28) Preparing boxes of legume, cereal, rice, spices, tea and sugar.
29) Rope for hanging cloths and clothespin.
30) Workbag, some colorful bobbins needle and scissors.
31) Separate towels for bride and groom
32) Necessary things for bath and washroom.
33) Few nightgowns and pajama plus various underwears for the bride
34) Towels 35) Iron and its cover
36) Crystal vases in different sizes.

The tocher is a conventional custom among the people , it is not obligatory , so the value of different ,it is cost from 10000$ to 1000000$ , it depends on the financial ability of girls family.
As I told you in Iran marriage has two steps , I explained about the first step , After the couple were called wife and husband , they don't live together until the second ceremony. It may takes between 3 months to 2 years. When the bride groom buys or rent his house , the bride's family send a person to that house to measure the doors and windows for curtain , the bride choose her curtain and they will be installed behind the doors and windows. Then a date is fixed for bringing all of tocher to the bride groom 's house.
Another wedding party will be hold and people invited for dinner . After finishing the party Bride and bride groom goes to their new house by riding their decorated car , and their family and relatives and friends follow them in their car , the make a lot of noise in the streets by horns of their car and finally throw the new couple in their new house to have the first night of life together.

It is a long story , it is 12.45 and I should go to bed , if you didn't get the story ,please feel free to ask me any detail
All the best
Mohsen

I feel your great friendship in my heart deeply.I really like your friendship.Please forgive me I couldn t write here for a long time,because I m very busy.As you know,I have started to teach in a private school,working in here makes me very tired.I don t know what I m going to do I don t want to work in here anymore ,but I have to need regular salary.I haven t got time to read books,watch films or sign to internet.In brief, I have no time for my personal life.
I want to teach in a puplic school soon otherwise I will be a person who is out of life
I always need your friendships, I love your friendship.You create a beautiful place in my life..
All you are very precious for me ,please always hold this fact in your mind..
I wish all your dreams come true soon in this new year.I wish Allah always protects you..

Hello! I have been away for long time and I would admit that I miss this forum. Anyway, I see this thread earlier and caught my attention. I like all posted discussion here. I read all threads here. It seems that all who posted here know each other well. Happy new year to all!

It was very nice reading your post. Thank you very much for sharing your opinion with us. I appreciate it. There is no doubt that this thread is your home, and you have got a sense of belonging. You are most welcome!

My first post in 2014 is addressed to you. I hope we will write to each other regularly.

It is always nice reading your posts. You are a great friend and a kind sister. I do love your kindness and care. Thank you very much for reading and posting. Thank you once again for your positive words. I am proud of you.

Happy New Year to you and to your family! I wish you lasting happiness and success. I hope 2014 will bring happiness and prosperity to all people, specially to you.

Welcome to this thread and thank you so much for reading the posts and putting comments. Thank you once again for joining us. I hope we will help each other with practicing English through writing. Please do not hesitate to write in this thread. I am sure, my friends and I will welcome your posts with open arms. Please participate in discussion.

The Islamic calendar is reckoned from the time of migration (Hijra) of Prophet Mohammad (Peace Be Upon Him) from Mecca to Madina. At the first night of Rabi al-Awwal, twelve years after the outset of his Divine Mission, the Holy Prophet migrated from Makkah to al-Madenah, This was considered as the starting point for Islamic year ,but it was changed to month of Moharam. Some people believe that this changing was happened at the time Ammar Khatab , and some people say that it was changed at the time of Bani Omaieh era .
I would like to congratulate my Muslim friends for coming of Rabi al-Awwal, I should say happy new year to people who use Islamic calendar.

Last night I had an online English class with an American teacher on Skype. Actually, the accent of teacher was American, I am not sure about his nationality. He says he lives in America. Anyway, forget where he is from, that's not a big deal. At class time, I was chatting with Elham. I asked her to take part in the class and she kindly agreed.

It was great to be with Elham in a class. I really enjoyed it. Elham speaks English fluently, nicely, and beautifully. She has got a very beautiful accent. Her accent was better than the teacher's accent, that's to say, she speaks English like native speakers. To be honest, I felt jealous of her English! Elham was impressive, that is why I am impressed with her way of speaking English, and that is why I am writing these things(I might not write! ). I hope she will help me with speaking English.

My accent is not good. It is a bad mixture of Azerbaijani, Farsi, and British English! Sometimes, I record my voice and play it. I hate listening to my own voice. I speak like a robot. My voice isn't soft! What should I do?

That's very kind of you to write those compliments on my speaking. You've exaggerated about it.

You know, I even don't remember when I had last spoken English. It was a long time I hadn't spoken. I was stressed If I can speak, but luckily I could put some words together and make some meaningful sentences.

My accent is good, I like it myself , but my knowledge of English is poor, good accent is worth nothing without being able to talk!

Your English is great. You can easily express yourself, your knowledge of English is really great.To be honest I'm jealous of your English.Your accent is not bad at all! It's not perfect but it's not bad.

And as we both know, what matters is English itself not accent. The first important thing while evaluating some one's English is his ability to makes right sentences and get his message across. Accent comes next. So we come into this conclusion that you are the winner

By the way, I'd be so glad if we could come to a deal, what? To combine your great knowledge of English and my accent and make sth PERFECT. Deal?

Moroo wrote:I learned from the countries who forced the people to do something that it makes the opposite result.

Hi Moroo,

It is nice hearing from you. Thank you very much for following us.

I wish you had written clearly which countries force people to wear Hejab, and what is meant by 'opposite result'.

Moroo wrote:Most of Muslims caring about how they and their families look ( hejab, beard, Jilbab,…etc) but they don't even think about the most important thinks which is inside not outside.

What is that important thing inside?

Fortunately, Hejab is clearly stated in the holy Koran; [نور/31], [احزاب/59], [نور/30], [احزاب/53].
What people do or believe cannot change the opinion of God about something. When it comes to making decision about important matters, God isn't democratic. He doesn't care about the nature or the habit of people. If all people in the world get naked and support nudism God will not change His opinion about Hejab!

I respect your views and other friends' views, but we have to take everything into consideration before making our judgement. We have to carefully consider the facts. For example, we have to think about these questions: 1) What has caused some people to get interested in gay marriage? 2) Where is the origin of HIV and what makes it epidemic in the world? 3) What destroys or threatens the foundation of families in all nations? 4) We(men and women) are human beings, why do women have a tendency to put their bodies on display? 5) Who makes decision about the amount of body someone can put on show? 6) What are the negative and the positive sides of nudism?

Elham wrote:I'd be so glad if we could come to a deal, what? To combine your great knowledge of English and my accent and make sth PERFECT. Deal?

Hi Elham,

Many thanks for being complimentary about my English knowledge. That's very kind of you to say good things about my English. I welcome your suggestion with open arms. That's very generous of you to offer the deal I am looking for. Thank you very much indeed.

I am very much interested in making the deal you have announced. I am ready to sign it if you are serious. This is a golden opportunity for me, and I know such opportunities seldom knock the door twice.

Happy to see you here and happy to read your words... It has been a long time since we chatted together, I really miss you and miss our old relationship.. I don't know what happened but I know that we still care and love each other!
I even don't know if you wrote some off msgs to me but if you did, I got nothing!

Dear, today, I feel that I want to write something to you, I don't care about what I going to write or if it was connected to each other or to the subjects which you wrote or not, I will just write what comes to my mind, so forgive me it you get nothing.

First of all, let me tell you about my days and my life. The electricity was off for days, it's like heaven here, right?!

I feel that I am not alive! I feel that there is nothing interesting in this world so I just sleep, I don't want to wake up to do nothing!!!! What a waste of time!

I agree with your idea about LOVE. I especially liked this sentence "Love is beautiful and makes life worth to live".

in fact love is something great and it's a mercy from god, it shows the best in people. But, sadly, Human beings spoiled it and changed its meaning and started to foolish each other under the name of "love"!

Emm, I still believe that there is pure love which isn't just for having babies or to make men and women have s.. No, but just some pure feelings and emotions..

However, it need two pure lovable hearts not like love these days when someone loves too much and the other loves too little.

About giving our opinion or judge about things, I think that people judge about sth from there point of view or what they are interested in and it doesn't matter if they are experts or not..

Above that, we should consider the aim behind watching a movie or reading a book..
For example, someone would watch a movie to have fun so they can judge if the movie was funny or not. Meanwhile, another person is watching it to have romance feelings so they judge it if it was romantic, and so on..

Last week while chatting with some friends, they recommended an

historical series to me and said that it is a very good one. However, I told them that I am not interested in historical series so I wont watch such thing no matter how much people say that it was good..

In other words and to make my words clear, that judgment isn't an absolute thing, it's change from person to person according to their culture and interests...

Oh Dear, I read your and Behnam's posts', I really envy you! I wish I could be with you! Although neither my accent is good nor my English! BUT! Hearing your voice and chatting with you both!! Ohhh my god!!!! It would be the best thing ever happen to me!

Happy new year to you. Sorry for being late in reply, please forgive me!
I really love your friendship too and hope to read more from you, you don't believe how much hearing your voice and chatting with you on Skype made me happy!

Dear, I had the same experience as you with the private school, it really takes the person's time and life. It takes you from the people you love.. Sadly, this is life and we should tolerate it. Wish you the best with your work and inshallah you will get the job you wish one soon...

Amal: It was very nice reading your posts and hearing about you. I am waiting to read more.

Morteza: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, you made me really happy. Thank you very much for keeping the contact.

To all friends: Finally, by the grace of God, I got accepted to start a PhD in a city in Azerbaijan province. I love that city, the people, the friendly atmosphere of the university, and above all my subject; Photonics. By God's grace, I am going to overcome all possible difficulties and make a splash in the university.

I'm very glad that you are accepted in a Ph.D. program; especially the one that you love! I don't know what Photoncis is, but I can guess it is something about light!! (Am I right?)

I think, for Ph.D. students and researchers to be successful, it is very important not to have issues that cause distraction to them. For example, if one needs to work for hours to make money to resolve his financial problems, then he may have some difficulties to finish his scientific project. To me, teaching is an issue! I need (and have to) teach at least 20 hours a week. This sometimes prevent me to focus on the subject I am researching on.

I know that you will not have any of these issues during your studies, and if you would face a problem, you would overcome it (as you wrote above).

The murderer of thousands innocent civilian people Arial Sharon went into hell , and bring happiness to millions of hearts. But it is really shameful that the head of governments sent messages and expressed their condolences to his family and Israel.

What they want to tell the people of the world, what is hidden in these messages, they want to say that a person who kill thousands of innocent people is a warrior, a messenger of peace, because he has guaranteed our benefits and the human rights should be suffocated in the situations which support our benefit

The head of governments who expressed condolences, exposing their complicity in the crimes of this ~ mass murderer. Supporting Sharon to did his criminal for many years.

Despite of this, what a piece of filth he was that no heads of state dared to attend his funeral.. though there will be a rogues gallery of ex-heads of state,chief amongst them yet to be charged war criminal Tony Blair

How are you my friend? It is a very long time since our last communication! I really miss you.

The story of Palestine and the creation of Israel is very sad. If I am not mistaken, year 1947 is called Nakba by the Arabs. That was the year when Israel came to the existence. I have seen a lot of documentaries related to the history of Palestinian-Israeli conflict. In one movie, particularly, there was an old Jewish woman that claimed the land of Israel (Palestine) is given by God to Jewish. She also argued that because this holy land is originally owned by Jewish, there is no surprise why Arabs have not been successful in making a state on it! She lives in her home made on a high hill. When the reporter asked her why she lives there, she replied controlling high areas makes give them more power to dominate the whole land!

I have no idea how to resolve this problem! I can just hope that one day all Palestinians come back to their home and live with peace.

In fact, there are some common things between our tradition and yours. However, what caught my eyes the most is the "pilgrimage to Mecca"!

I wish our Mehr included it, if my husband took me to Mecca, I would never ask him for anything else!

Dear, I didn't understand this part: "6- The ownership of a house or a part of a house should be officially given to girl."
But why he would give her a house??! And isn't it too expensive? What if the boy himself didn't have a house? Or in other words, he can't afford it?!

What I had understood from Behnam's post that the boys' families give nothing to the girls or only girls' families should give boys dowry to marry their girls! But now I have understood the matter clearly.. I have get that their are two parts and both should give sth.

Above that, if the girls will take a house, it's normal to pay some money for the furniture! isn't it?! "Just kidding"

In the past and even in other different parts of Syria till now, we have the same customs like you. We have Mehr and Jehas.

But here in Damascus, girls take "Jehas" to their new houses too but not all the item which you recommended in your post, just some clothes and the necessary things for themselves. Emm, meanwhile, all furnitures and kitchen things, the boys' family should bring them..

In my idea, marriage is really something important because it gather two strange families together which have different manners. And the most important thing more than money and material things is to have an agreement between them and between the girl and the boy...

How are you? How is your life? I hope you are all fine and enjoying your life.

How can we enjoy our life? This is a very important question, although it sounds like a philosophical one. If we focus on ourselves to know who we are(to know ourselves well), then we will know what to follow in order to enjoy our lives! How to know ourselves? This is extremely difficult! The majority of us don't know ourselves! We are doing some activities, yes, of course, but those activities are done automatically. We eat, drink, sleep, etc. These activities are all relevant to our nature. A stupid person may eat or drink more than a genus one! In other words, knowledge of ourselves is different from our natural instinctive actions or reactions.

People are different. They have different attitudes towards life. They do different activities to enjoy their lives. This is a fact!

To Mortaza: Thank you very much for your post. I wish you success in both teaching and doing the researches. I agree with you. In many cases in life, we have to follow the limitations. We have to obey some rules, although they may seem ridiculous. We are born with some basic needs that we cannot get rid of them. For example, we have to eat something, no matter we are a God's messenger, or a very famous scientist, or an ordinary person. We have to earn money, because fulfilling those basic needs cannot be performed without money! Nothing is wrong with working! However, some of us are obligated to work and work and work! We are forced to work all days in order to fulfill our needs! This is disgusting! I hate it! We have to be given enough time to do something for relaxation and fulfillment of our spirits' needs! However, unfortunately, we are forced to ignore these important features of our lives!

To Elham: Thank you very much for your friendly message. It touched my heart! Please write more. I love reading your posts.

To Amal:

[amal] wrote:What I had understood from Behnam's post that the boys' families give nothing to the girls or only girls' families should give boys dowry to marry their girls! But now I have understood the matter clearly.. I have get that their are two parts and both should give sth.

What you had understood from my post that boys families give nothing to girls' families, but girls' families give dowries to boys is, fortunately or unfortunately, true! On the other hand, what you have understood from dear Mohsen's post, despite the fact that he had written a wonderful post about dowry, is wrong!

I am sure, my dear friend Mohsen will explain 'عندالمطالبة' and 'عند الاستطاعة' to you clearly. I guess you are confused!

How are you my friends? I hope everything is alright. I believe we have already had some conversations to each other. Since I have not written here for a long time, I think it is more convenient if I quickly introduce myself to help you remind of me!!!

My name is Mortaza (of course) and I am teaching math in a university as a full-time professor. I love my job (teaching math) although the students, these days, are not very much interested in hard studying and learning math. I have just marked their final exam, and the majority of them are under 10 (of 20). So I have to, somehow, normalize the scores so that an acceptable portion of the class pass the course!!! Do you know what I mean?!

Anyway, I'm married, I have two children (my son 9, and my daughter 5), and I don't know what else I should say!

Long time no see ,I miss you too ,of course priorities are your family and jobs, but no one can say that I have no time to write some sentences.

My idea is that the motivation and environment are the most important factors for practising a job. The motivation is a clear known fact for us ,but the environment have different interpretation. My idea is that a good environment is when our mind doesn't deal with too many thoughts especially useless ones.

Sometimes the unusual behaviours of people who are surrounded us such as parents ,wife, neighbours, colleagues is tormenter and make the environment such intolerable that it effects on us to lose our motivation for having positive activities and development.
Sometime we make our life too busy that our mind have no rest ,for example , I get used to buy shares of some companies , banks and as a shareholder I should check the stock exchange hall website every day to check the prices (http://www.tsetmc.com), it takes my time and also make my mind busy in a way that I can't focus on anything else. I often go to the hall for selling or buy my shares , of course I am not a professional stockholder, but generally I got a good benefits from this job. I don't like this kind of incomes, It is like gambling , and it annoys me because I believe that benefit should be earned by doing a job.But I content myself to compare this job with some people who exchange the currency and get their benefit.

There many things around us which distract us from our main work and cause to stop concentration on our improvement.

About the Israel, The hypothesis that the lands of Palestine was originally Jewish' properties and now they have renewed their acquisition by killing many people and making war on this land for many years is a wrong theory.

Since the countries had been formed thousands years ago and kings of different dynasties dominated their lands, the map of countries each countries changed many times ,sometimes they occupied a land and sometimes lost. For example if we review the Iran history ,even in 500 years ago our country was very larger than now , many areas such as Tajikistan , Afghanistan , Bahrain and …so on were parts of Iran, if we go back to old ancient history like Jewish people , The vast areas in Asia were belong to Iran. Can we claim for any parts of lost lands and start war and occupy them. Surly the answer is negative, because the world has its law and countries have their maps, so any movement which is out of law is called out law. But what we can do when the law is interpreted as a benefit of some powerful countries and the law is only their gun, what they say is "military option is on the table"

B.Regards,
Mohsen

Last edited by Mohsen on Fri Jan 17, 2014 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

First of all, let me thank you for your beautiful posts. You write fluently and I enjoy reading your writings very much.

It's 9:30 pm, and it's time for my children to go to bed and sleep. Usually, my wife take cares of children' bed time; she makes them brush their teeth and do whatever is needed before sleep. Then, she tells them a story so that they fall in sleep. Sometimes she simply reads from a book, but most of the times she tells them an improvised story! Anyway, it is now a good time for me to seat on the chair behind my desk, and start writing!

We have particular situations in Iran. The economic situation is the most important and effective one, I think. People are often, if not always, busy with thinking and planning about their financial issues. So, they don't have enough time for their hubbies. As a result, the life in Iran is not as enjoyable as it should be. I am one of these people. Forgive me if I cannot regularly come to this thread and write.

Since we have severe economic inflation and depression, especially in recent years, it is probable that your savings shrink to half in one or two years! So it is natural if everyone invests his money in something. Some people, as you said, invest their money in gold, some in currency, and some in real estate!

You said that you buy and sell shares. Well, it is a tricky and difficult job. To be honest, I do not have the gut to walk in the stock market. I think I would lose all my money by making a wrong deal! You said that you generally get benefits from this job. This means, my friend, that you are a professional. If I have enough money, I prefer to buy a real estate. It is also profitable, you know. However, you should know where and when buy one.

Finally, about Israel and Palestine, you are absolutely right. The world in the current century is very different from that in, for example, 200 years ago. The time for getting land and making power by using force and killing people is over now. However, there is something peculiar about Israel and Palestine. Palestine was not attacked by a foreign country. At first, some people (Jewish) immigrated to this land, and after getting organized, they attacked Palestinian from inside!

Stop being naughty dear! I'd understood both posts and I know that those items which Mohsen mentioned were asked just if the person could afford them.. "عند الاستطاعة"
And it isn't sth strict like a law or sth.. Since, you are living in a rent house.

Dear, Marriage's customs are almost the same in our countries.. I was just asking to make this thread active and to share a topic to discuss.

Welcome back dear! My friend, there is no need to introduce yourself to us again since we have never forgotten you, in fact, I have never forgotten any person who had written in this thread.. They are all in my heart. This place is a very important place to me, no matter where life takes me, I must come here and check it.. It really relax me and give me an inner peace..

Dear, these days students don't care about studying; internet, games and Face Book take their minds... I think teachers should create new attractive ways to teach them and get their attention, am I right?!

Dear Moroo, thanks for your post and your opinion, I am sure that you get what I meant since we are Arab and understand each other.

What I meant is that Hejab is an obligatory thing from god and as Behnam said there is an Aya about it in Koran. Well, that is right... However, what I was saying is that Hejab is something between the person and god. when people want to do sth or not, they should do it because they are afraid of god not because they are afraid of their government!

Dear Behnam, took the discus to a new point and said that they threaten the mental health of the society therefore the government put that rule. Well, it's a nice and new way of thinking, it may help the good men a little from bad women's effect but it wont effect on bad man and also Hejab wont prevent bad women from doing their jobs.

Above that, I can't say that all women who don't wear Hejab are bad! As you said what's important is the inside not the outside! What I care about when I am dealing with them is their manners toward me, I don't care if they wear hejab or not because it's god's job to judge them not me.

Dear Behnam, there are a lot of countries which forced their people to do something like Saudi Arabia..
You can't believe how bad most of their people are when they go out of their country, although Hejab is mandatory there, however, whenever they go out Saudia, they remove it!

Above that, if they keep the Hejab, their eyes are always full of make up, which give them more attractive look!!!!! Isn't that forbidden??!!! Isn't that threaten the society??!!
Some women even leave some tufts of hair without cover!!! Hejab in this way become a costume not a religious matter!

My point is, no matter how much the governments put rules, they can't prevent bad people from doing their jobs. They always can create ways to break the rules.

How can I forget you? You're the one who friendly wrote to me in the first Let's learn together....
oh, first Let's learn together...

Sorry, I got emotional again...hahaha... my ridiculous emotions...

Thanks for mentioning me in your post and saying hello. We are friends in Facebook and I see your nice pictures with your students. You seem to be a very kind and responsible professor...

Yes, sadly such hardworking students like Behnam and you are found seldom these days... We mostly want to pass a course and get a degree... oh, how lazy we are...

You teach math, good for you. Being involved in math is enjoyable, I've missed it. If at my death time some one asks me list the things you really enjoyed in life and are happy having spent time on, certainly one of them would be MATH! Oh how sweet this math is. Although I may not continue my studies, I'm always happy with my decision on choosing math as my major in high school. and then engineering in university. Although I wasn't a successful student in univ( ) , I enjoyed spending more time with math , oh this sweet lovely lesson...

Thank you very much my friends for your warm posts to me. You two are very kind and friendly.

In Iran, going to university is the most desirable option among students who finish their high school. There are lots of universities in Iran, and it does not seem very hard to get accepted in some university. In fact, there are universities that enroll students without any entrance examination. They are, of course, nonprofit organizations and the students should pay fees. At this situation, it is natural if most of these universities suffer from a low quality in education.

Unfortunately, for a typical Iranian family, in which there is a high school student, it is very important that their child does not give up his studies after finishing high school and goes to university. If the student, himself, is determined to do that, it's fine; hopefully, by hard working etc., he will be accepted in a good university, and, since he knows what he wants, he will be successful in his career.

However, in many cases, the student is not interested in studying at all. He just doesn't like to displease his parents. In this case, being a student in a university for some years (taken, perhaps, from the golden period of his life) is nothing but a waist of time and money.

How this unwanted situation could be resolved? Well, in my opinion, first people's attitude should be adjusted. At the same time, the government and other responsible organizations should create opportunities for youths to get employed and work so that they have regular incomes. Instead of sending young people to universities, we should trained them to become skilled workers.

It seems this writing is getting very long. I finish here, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Now, I am confused! What do you mean? What Mohsen has mentioned are items that the girl's family gives to her and she takes them with herself to the boy's house, either it is rented, or his father has given to him, or in some cases, the house is also given by girl's father!Boys pay nothing! Although there are different wedding ceremonies which differ from tribe to tribe, people to people, family to family, culture to culture, etc. the main idea is the same: In Iran there is no 'تقدم' or 'تأخر'!

'عندالاستطاعه' or 'عندالمطالبه' is, somehow, the price of the girl which is written in the marriage document. I am not insulting girls. Actually, I don't know the equivalents of 'نقد' and 'نسيه' in English. Suppose you got to a grocery store to do the shopping. You haven't received your salary yet, or your husband is working in a governmental organization, it is the middle of the month, so poor man is not paid yet. You are run out of money, so you may say to the shopkeeper who knows you, "Excuse me! I will pay it by the end of this month, please write it down in your notebook". This is called 'نسيه'. It is said 'نقد'If you open your purse proudly and pay for the things[well, you haven't made it, so you easily spend it. As every unemployed woman, you enjoy spending it, I know! ]

Boys don't pay it. They just say, "I will pay it whenever you ask=عندالمطالبه", or a smarter version, "I will pay it whenever I can=عندالاستطاعه"! Well, when the price of girls are much too much high, poor boys find a way to get rid of it!

Last week, a girl in my wife's family has engaged. The price of her is 2500 Iranian gold Coins! Each Iranian gold coin is about $500. A simple mathematics shows that the price of that girl is about $1,250,000! It is mind-blowing, isn't it? Who can give this amount of money? Nobody! However, if a person can give this amount of money, in my opinion, that person is stupid! By this amount of money one can sleep-until his dying day- with a virgin girl every night in abroad.

I may sound silly or stupid right now. I am not laughing at all. I am really crying. I am crying for this stupidity in my country! This is disastrous!

From the begging of the life, boys and girls start lying to each other. "I will pay whenever you ask for it"! Well, suppose the girl is going to ask tomorrow, next month, next year, etc. Will you pay? No! So, why are you lying? "I can't marry if I don't lie"! Amazingly, the girl knows that the boy is lying, but she agrees! This is really strange! This is ridiculous! This is a great compromise based on lies! One can easily guess about the events which are going to be happened in their life.

Are we following Islam and its rules? Never! So what? Are we Muslims? Yes we are. How? I don't know, we think God is like a powerful king and there are some people around him in his palace. We will find a way to fool Him, since we will find a person who is so close to God and then all things will be solved!

About Hijab, I am not going to write anymore. It is possible to awaken an asleep person, but it is not possible to awaken someone who is pretending to be asleep! The story of Hijab has been finished. Thankfully, women have received their rights in modern countries! Also in some Islamic countries they are allowed to put their...on display. A man like me sounds stupid and fundamentalist if he speaks about Hijab. I have no choice, either to participate in this competition; to let my wife become partially naked, consequently, to get the honour of becoming an open-minded man, or to come to terms with being labeled by narrow-mindedness and things like that! I won't follow them, if all the population of the world disagree with Hijab!

The West, thankfully, gave the women their human rights, that is to say by the definition of women's rights they had they gave the women freedom! Freedom of what? Freedom of offering themselves to the men without being paid the prices! Fulfilling men sexual needs for free and being still single! What else men need to be happy in the West?

Now, the mission about women's rights is accomplished. Another mission has been defined for satellite TV stations and the media! What is that? Freedom of gay marriage! It means that they are going to scale the open-mindedness of people by a new gauge! What is that gauge? You are modern, open-minded, wise, ...if you support gay marriage! If you disagree, you are stupid, narrow-minded, fundamentalist, ...!

The future projects will be about freedom of animal-human marriage! Dogs are much loyal than men! Cats are funny, etc.! You may laugh at me, but try to have a big field-of-view! You will see these things, just wait!

just be careful, they can easily introduce new scales and gauges, consequently, they can easily change the values and beliefs. This is a dirty game, but unfortunately, from the beginning of the history, some devilish people are playing with people's beliefs and values! They think of people as game pieces! They are fighting with God actually! Why did he say, "فانظرني الا يوم الجزاء"? That's obvious!

Just to mention, in the future, they may introduce different gauges to measure the open-mindedness of people, BUT, wise people should not let be measured, if they want to keep their beliefs, religions, values, etc. Don't let others measure you by the gauges they are using, try to scale phenomena by your own scales!

I wrote those things to all readers, although the post was addressed to my dear Muslim friend and sister Amal who has proved to be a real Muslim by all its definition!