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Thursday, September 8, 2011

My Dream

Disclaimer: These are my feelings and my opinions. I don't judge those women that choose to work, and I hope to not be judged as well.

I'm an old-fashion girl at heart. A simple girl, really.

When I was little, I longed for two things; and to this day, that hasn't changed:

1. Get married and have a big family.
2. Own a bakery. (seriously)

I realize neither of those things are very ambitious, and I'm okay with that, that's just who I am - sorry Mom!

My sister wants to join the Navy, travel the world, and have a complex linguistics career. My brother wants to be a high school history teacher. And my youngest brother in-law wants to be an engineer. All huge dreams! None of which are mine.

In my opinion, family is the most important thing in this world. I know that once I'm old and wrinkly, all I will have left is my family. And I want to be able to look back at this time in my life and remember the time I spent with my family - not the time I spent working, not my job title or big projects, not the numbers on my paychecks....

Nothing would make me happier than to be home for my child(ren) and my husband - to take care of MY child(ren); make a nice dinner every night; clean my house every day; and, maybe start up a small bakery one day.

A friend, who shares similar dreams (less the bakery), recently asked me: Is it so wrong to want these things?

My answer: Hell to the NO, girlfriend!

I don't care if my dreams set the women's movement back 50 years. Maybe I'd like to be a homemaker, thankyouverymuch. Maybe I'd find that to be fulfilling. Maybe others would too. Did those feminists ever consider that??

And now, for the the lingering question, what are my dreams for this little beauty?

My hopes and dreams for Lucy Lu are that she be happy. I won't shove college down her throat. I won't arrange her marriage. And if she decides she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, too, I will fully support her. Although, if that's the case, I will insist she become my partner in Shelton Sweets Bakery. ;-)

6 comments:

Hi I'm new to your blog and I'm loving it! Love that you want to stay at home with your babies! I am a 4th year medical student who will be a pediatrician... And there is nothing more that I want than to be able to both work and stay home with the littles and bake and such... I think you have us "feminists" wrong though... To me the feminist movement was about having the right to chose if you want to stay home or work... So you are right on track :)Anyhow, thanks for letting me come along one your ride toward your dream!!

Feminists were fighting for your right to be able to choose either path, not trying to force you into the workplace. Wanting to stay at home certainly does NOT set women back 50 years! It just means that is your priority, that is what is important to you, that is who YOU are - and that's awesome!! I agree that all mamas - whether we stay at home, work part time or full time - need to support each other. You'd be an awesome SAHM (and baker, obviously!), and I'm praying your dream comes true one day VERY soon.

If feminists fight for the right to choose, then why do they lecture people like me, and others like me, about our choice to be a SAHM? My comment about setting the women’s movement back was something that was said to me by another (older) woman when I shared my dream with her.

I would consider myself to be a feminist, and I would never dream of lecturing anyone for choosing to stay at home! I simply think every woman has the right to decide her own fate, and there was a time, not very long ago, when that wasn't the reality. I'm sorry that some idiot said that to you! That's really horrible.

I agree... feminism is about choosing YOUR path. I have been lectured by many a SAHM about my choice to leave my son in very competent hands while I climb the corporate ladder. I don't understand the "mommy wars" and why there are so many who feel it acceptable to question the choices of another. Do what makes you and your family happy - thank goodness you have that choice!