Despite being the beneficiary of numerous societal advantages and having faced little to no major adversity throughout his life, local man Travis Benton has spent the last four years squandering his white male privilege on a sales floor job at Best Buy, sources confirmed Tuesday. “You can get by with a regular HDMI cable, but if you’re looking at a length longer than 10 feet, I’d go with a gold-tipped one,” said the man dressed in a bright blue polo shirt and pin-on name tag as he continued to fritter away such innate life advantages as greater access to higher education, leniency from the justice system, and favorable treatment from other white males who lead and make hiring decisions at a disproportionately high number of American companies. “The AudioQuest gold-tip is actually the cable I use in my own home entertainment center and it provides excellent audio and video clarity, plus it comes with a full five-year warranty, unlike the 90-day warranty of a bargain brand. For your money, you’re not going to find a better cable.” At press time, the man born into the world’s most affluent and privileged socioeconomic group was spending his 15-minute break silently consuming a sleeve of Donettes purchased out of a vending machine.

Share This

We welcome comments that add information or perspective, and we encourage polite debate. If you log in with a social media account, your comment should appear immediately. If you prefer to remain anonymous, you may comment as a guest, using a name and an e-mail address of convenience. Your comment will be moderated.

MekongDelta69

This is satire – but a lot of it is already reality.

Fair Dinkum

Even so, it needs to be emphasized that this is from the Onion, a parody and satire websited.

Erasmus

Nowadays a reader can get a more accurate picture of life in these United States from the Onion, instead of the NYT.

D.B. Cooper

First of all, boys and gurlz, let’s not feel sorry for Travis Benton, die hard Obama supporter.
HE is getting what he asked for, isn’t he?
HE is the guy, when he gets home tonight, will be online saying that D.B. Cooper, MekongDelta69, and the Bobster should all burn in Hell for being such ignorant, inbred, rayysist rednecks.

Don’t feel sorry for him,
and who the F&#% spells donuts “donettes”? A flaming, sissy liberal?

It’s satire, but Mr. Cooper nailed the fact that lots of the nation’s Travis Bentons really are Democrat and RINO-voting traitors to Western Civilization. A group of these unskilled retail workers in Denver have been demonstrating for a citywide minimum wage of $15 an hour, blissfully unaware that this would simply drive all the restaurants and retail businesses out of Denver and into the surrounding suburbs. They want the moral smugness of voting for imports of Fourth-World hordes as unskilled as they are themselves, but without having to personally pay the economic consequences of this.

D.B. Cooper

Oh, I know it’s satire, but I do happen to shop at Best Buy a lot. Nearly every zit faced Travis Benton is a liberal who would’ve voted for Obama if they had been old enough. I recognize the vile, filthy hate I get from these teenaged, never been with a woman, punks who honestly think that I’m the problem, not diversity. Case in point…

So CAL Snowman

Damn dude, you‘re focusing your hate on the wrong crowd. Look at the zit faced nerd reaction to a black Johnny Storm or the blackhispanic spider man. There are plenty of White beta male teenagers that understand the score. The White kids who work at Frys and Best Buy are probably a million times happier helping out a polite White person like myself (no really I am) rather than helping out some idiot minority and his 5 stupid kids. As for the really smart White teenagers, they know they are not getting hired by a black or brown for anything important. They know that the serious work gets done by other smart White males and that is the group to whom they willl look for employment.

I wouldn’t be surprised if whites still had “white skin privilege” even when reduced to a tiny, persecuted minority in the good ole mestizo-majority USA.

Geo1metric

Well, they probably will still have it since, even as a “tiny, persecuted minority”, there will exist the excellence, the striving, the work ethic, the brilliant minds, and all the building blocks for civilization. All hail White privilege!

If, of the seven billion people in this world, if only one of them was a non-Jewish straight white man, the other 6,999,999,999 people would all be oppressed minorities.

George Clark

“Why are you always on about Jews, Stan? Because I want to be one, Reg.”

Dave4088

Didn’t you hear? White skin privilege will only disappear when we do.

wildfirexx

It’s already happening in South Africa, where blacks outnumber whites 10 to 1.
The white privileged ethnic cleansing is already on the table!

RisingReich

Um – Amren does know that the Onion is satire?

Seems like the Onion might be a bit sympathetic though.

sbuffalonative

Likely, I noticed the source before I clicked on the link.

And I agree. Even though it’s satire, someone at the Onion gets it.

Dave4088

Kudos to The Onion for using satire to demonstrate how ludicrous the concept of white skin privilege is. We should bombard Timmy Wise’s e-mail with links to this article.

FozzieT

The Onion nails it! One minor quibble: if he were REALLY born into the world’s most affluent and privileged socioeconomic group, his name would be more like Tzion Bernstein.

John R

And that is the world we live in….

RyanP

I read this story earlier today as I read the Onion daily. I love it because they make fun of all groups. Leftists do not get a pass.

benvad

Finally fair and balanced reporting.

MBlanc46

Well done, Onion.

wildfirexx

A good old American white boy, happily doing a mediocre job at Best Buy. Wow, what a great opening for a futuristic all American TV series. But of course, the manger or Boss at Best Buy outlet, must be a sophisticated African American with a chip on his shoulder, which I notice far to often in today’s mainstream TV Dramas, every time I click the channel on my remote.
Is this what the white privileged All American boy is being programed and destined for in the future, while other ethnic minorities are being chaperoned and promoted to better and higher places!

Bossman

I’ve visited many Best Buy stores in different cities. Seeing a young white man working in those stores is becoming a rare event. Same goes for Walmart.

Greg Thomas

Seeing a young White man employed by the State of California
is even rarer. Nevertheless, you will be comforted in knowing those jobs are
going to mexicans and their anchor babies. I guess a degree in La Raza studies is worth something after all.