$500k. >:0

To Be Or Not To Be just broke $500k. There's seventeen hours left and we broke half a million dollars in pledges. Thank you all so much!

Two days ago when I said I would "literally explode" if this happened I thought "hah hah there's no way this will happen, hah hah hah jokes are funny". Since then this joke JUST GOT REAL, and since Kickstarter's Terms Of Service mean I have to make a best-faith effort to make this goal come true, I have spent the past while scouring the OED looking for linguistic loopholes (my hobby).

Tell me about "literally", OED!

In a literal, exact, or actual sense; not figuratively, allegorically, etc. Used to indicate that the following word or phrase must be taken in its literal sense, usu. to add emphasis.

colloq.Used to indicate that some (freq. conventional) metaphorical or hyperbolical expression is to be taken in the strongest admissible sense: ‘virtually, as good as’; (also) ‘completely, utterly, absolutely’.

trans.To clap and hoot (a player, play, etc.) off the stage; hence gen.to drive away with expressions of disapprobation; to cry down; to banish ignominiously. Also fig.Const. from, out of, and with double obj. Obs.

That's no good, nobody's going to be satisfied with me booing a performance of something using an obsolete sense of a word! What else you got, OED?

To drive forth (air); to emit.

Hmm I could toot, I could definitely do a toot but that hardly seems like the best way to celebrate a publishing project reaching $500k. Though it probably has the virtue of never having been done before?

intr.To ‘go off’ with a loud noise. Of gas, gunpowder, etc.: To expand violently with a loud report under the influence of suddenly developed internal energy; hence, of a charged jar, mine, etc. Of boiler, gun, etc.: To fly in pieces, burst, from a similar cause.

No OED this is precisely what I'm trying to avoid! Although I appreciate that you're now peppered with animated gifs I do NOT want to expand violently if I can avoid it; this is a life choice I made long ago. Last chance:

trans.To cause (a gas, gunpowder, also a magazine, mine, etc.) to ‘go off’ with a loud noise; to ‘blow up’.

Ahhhhh YES - right at the bottom is the sense I need, and thank you transitive sense of verbs! I will cause something to explode. I will LITERALLY EXPLODE A THING.

Right now I think I will make a paper-mache thing and work with that, but I'll consult with my father (an ENGINEER) on the best approach towards making a explosions happen, and whatever happens YES there will be a YouTube video of it. This is a silly stretch goal but CONTRACTS IS CONTRACTS.

Dear diary: today we made a Shakespearean branching-path book reach the real world and we exploded something while we were at it. Don't even act like you're surprised, diary.

Once again, thank you all so much: To Be Or Not To Be has shot past every goal I could make for it, and now it's even shot past the silly ones. This is amazing, and there's still 18 hours left. Time enough for one last stretch goal:

$525,000 = everyone already getting a sticker (check the rewards list to make sure!) will get another sticker that reads "I BELONG TO SOMEONE AWESOME" that will go great on your book, your laptop, or on your monster truck. Normally I'd worry about releasing such a powerful sticker into the wild, but I'm confident in this case that we are cool.

Here's one more illustration from the book: it's black and white here, but it'll be colour in the book, and it features Hamlet and Ophelia Winning Fights, Making Out, and Being Totally Awesome. It's by Carly Monardo!

Thank you all so much! We're in the end stretch now, and very soon we'll be switching gears from "kickstarting this book" to "getting this thing done and into your house".

Yeah, with the boingboing and Wired shout-outs the numbers are skyrocketing faster than ever. We should have 550k within the hour, and I'd be shocked if it doesn't reack 600k tonight.

By my reckoning you'll have 15048 physical books going out as of this moment, and rising (your poor signing wrist!). The next challenge will be to get this to the top of bestseller list when everybody and their monkey's already got a copy!

He stumbled in; this man from more than cold
Disheveled was. The soot upon his brow
And shrapnel in his hair his courage told:
A man who might still bleed but never bow.
“I’ve come through time,” he cried, and then collapsed.
We rushed him to the board. Too soon, his voice
Grew weak; we leaned to hear his tale. He gasped,
“Tis you must pick. You all must make the choice!”
Of what? we wondered as he faded out –
Not death, but from our sight, as if a ghost.
His packet left behind had but one note:
“You must blow up the thing you love the most.”

But wherefore quibble? Quick – explode the thing
an be it Hamlet, T-Rex, I, or king.

So with 10 hours left and you are at $540k, you might actually crack $600k. You need something super mysterious and special at that point. Perhaps... perhaps you write one more possible character choice into the book? I can only imagine your take on Rosencrantz and Guildenstern would be much funnier than what has been done previously. Or maybe play as Claudius FROM THE BEGINNING. With all manner of wins/losses from there?

-------------------
The explosion must be of a log cabin, and he must wear a T-Rex costume whilst doing it. There must be mad libs by other people dressed as utahraptor and such, following the standard format of the comic.
Make it so! Pleeeeeeaaaasse?

The explosion must be of a log cabin, and he must wear a T-Rex costume whilst doing it. There must be mad libs by other people dressed as utahraptor and such, following the standard format of the comic.

several hundres of dollars were pledged and the 525k stretch goal got beaten in the 5 minutes it took me to read this update. I must confess it's entertaining to watch the figure go higher and higher. where will it stop?

Clearly the only choice is to build a small log cabin, pack it with nitroglycerin, and then have an animatronic T-Rex stomp it. Heck, I would kick in up to three dollars to a separate kickstarter to fund just this.

Surely the only way this can happen is that Ryan picks several suitable options, and then presents us with a choose you own thing to explode game. Then it really will be a fitting way to celebrate this amazing project's success.

A wonderful month of updates coming to an end, though I'm surely not alone in looking forward to updates between now and shipping next spring :-)

If looking for an idea for a level unlock .. perhaps include the book structure poster for the teachers receiving books. Some may like the audio version, too, for students who need the assistance. Cheers!

Ha! Maybe inserting an ending into the book that results in your death by explosion? I'll let you work out the details, but corresponding full-color artwork of said author exploding would be expected. ;-)