Do you ever get the strange feeling that you are being watched? That there is a presence observing your life like an invisible audience sworn to silence. That somehow, everything you do and everything you say has been mapped out and scripted by an unseen hand? Is it true after all, that 'All the World's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..'? Is that what we are - a kind of Earth-bound EastEnders for the unknown?

​How much free will do we really have? Are we born to play a part, rich or poor, black or white, he or she, and do we really have no influence on the path our lives take?

​As the years go by and I get to reflect on the experiences of my life, I am coming to the conclusion that the only thing I could ever have really controlled was my feelings. Circumstances came and went in seemingly random fashion. Things would drop out of the blue and turn my life on its head. Not all things I might say, some I can see I engineered entirely, but I could not have foreseen much that happened to me. In my quiet moments, I do wonder if the whole point was for some unknowable to observe the way in which I handled things.

​Perhaps all our worries, anxieties, fears and concerns are simply part of an ongoing cosmic performance.

Some say the eyes are the windows of the Soul. But can you really tell what a person is thinking by looking into their eyes? Can you know who they are when all you are really seeing is your own reflection gazing back at you?

These are my eyes and you would imagine that I, of all people, really should know what's going on in there... but I don't. I can't see anything and frankly if that isn't a blank stare I don't know what is.

​I do know what these eyes have seen in their long life however, and that might persuade me to imagine some of the thoughts that are constantly churning like flotsam through the pathways of my mind. But as I wasn't fully conscious of my thinking in the moment I took this picture, I didn't note it.

​Perhaps I was only considering the 'art'. This being the aspect of my photography that endeavours to paint a picture rather than simply record a moment in time. This is the same intention I put into my paintings - the attempt to evoke a response of some kind in the observer. What feelings can be accessed? What energy is released that otherwise would remain hidden? Thinking, considering, awakening. Likes and dislikes, humour and anger. Love even.

​I do wonder what have these eyes have missed while the film of my life has been running. What did I not want to see or record for this future now.. What did I not want to have to ponder on with regret or relief? Those unseen images that got away from me, swirling into the unfathomable past to be lost forever.

When I was young the world was very different... No plastic bottles for one thing. Can you imagine! No piles of waste waiting for 100 of years to go by in order to return to nature. No fish full of micro beads and whales full of garbage. A very different world indeed.

There were many places a bit like this picture though. Falling down sheds full of bits and bobs, piles of wood, stacks of broken pots and old bricks. There was one of these in nearly every garden. Now they are created on purpose. Now we need people to recreate them to provide homes for our beleaguered bugs and bees. Now this is not only necessary, but it is alo a form of art in the landscape and I like that very much.

​I bought a little one for my daughter's birthday. It is the Ford Fiesta version to this Rolls Royce one. Small but none the less important I think... while we still have bees to save. We have to keep trying, don't we?

'Birthdays come but once a year...' Or is that Christmas?Whichever it is, they both seem to come round far too quickly.In our house we have four birthdays in just one week. That's not fair. No one really gets to be the special birthday girl (or boy). It all ends up being a bit of a joint effort. We cannot help but make one cake last the whole week (so silly and fattening to make four) and everyone's cards arrive stuffed into one large envelope on the same day (save on postage). ​And why not.However, after 22 years of sameness we really should be used to it by now. But clearly we aren't or I wouldn't be writing about it.​Ho hum...​In the meantime, Happy Birthdays to my dear, sweet family... With love and luck, we will have many more! <3