By the time I was done with cardio I felt okay about only doing forty minutes because I’d run for over an hour that morning and moved to the mats on the floor to begin the glorified sit-ups they call Pilates, I noticed my brother still standing in the corner.

It's called Pilates [Puh-LAH-tees], and it's the perfect exercise for women of our time: It has spiritual overtones, it makes you drop a clothing size, it promises a better orgasm, and men will never really get it.