Astronaut kicked out of movie theater for heckling ‘Gravity’

by vent wing

While most people consider ‘Gravity’ to be a realistic portrayal of outer space. Chris Hadfield, a retired Canadian astronaut, thinks otherwise. His ranting in a movie theater caused him to get kicked out, according to a recent article in The Beaverton.

Last night, October 29th, Hadfield sat in the back of Empire Theatres Waterloo. He was watching the 9:15 pm Real3D screening of ‘Gravity’. While others would consider the movie dramatic and thrilling, Hadfield found it rather comical. He muttered under his breath and chuckled to himself during the first half of the movie. By the 30-minute mark, he reportedly made numerous rude comments such as,

“Nice Soyuz procedure, Hollywood!”

and

“Oh yeah, because that’s what hypoxia as caused by rapid cabin decompression looks like you idiots!.”

The Soyuz is a spacecraft initially designed for the Soviet space program and is still in use today. I’m not sure which procedure he was referring to, but it’s more than the average non-astronaut would probably know.

Isabelle Tremblay recounted the event:

“My boyfriend and I were like, ‘what a jerk’, and he went back to talk to him. But then he came back to our seats and he was like ‘I’m pretty sure that was that astronaut guy. You know, from the news.’ So we just let him go. I mean, what do you do? An astronaut probably gets George Clooney’s character struggles a little better than I do.”

Hadfield’s alleged berating of the film continued without any reduction. During one crucial and deathly silent scene involving Sandra Bullock’s character’s desperate attempt to reach her vessel and avoid dying in the void of space, the Canadian space explorer let out a long, piercing, and altogether perfect fart.

Theatre staff was eventually notified, and the retired ISS Commander Canadian, was removed from the theater. Witnesses report that he did not go quietly. One patron recalled:

“The last thing I heard him yelling was, ‘Have you been to space? Because I’ve been to space!’”

He certainly has. Hadfield is a famous astronaut who gained popularity by chronicling life aboard the space station and taking pictures of the earth and posting them through Twitter and Facebook to a large following of people around the world. He’s been on television news and talk shows and gained popularity by playing his guitar in space. He retired in May of this year (2013).

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The Beaverton is a news satire and parody publication . This article, however similar to real events, is fictitious. This article is meant in good fun. Happy Halloween!