Do Good Work. Work and Live Intentionally.

Zen Business

11/14/2013

Time isn’t infinite. We have just a moment to do what we need to do in this life and as we all know it goes by too fast. Knowing that, why do so many of us fritter our time in ways that have no effect. No, you don’t have to be goal driven so frequently that you lose the ability to find joy in the simplicity of doing nothing on a Saturday afternoon, but you do have to have vision into what you want your time in life to mean.

The questions that have been driving me lately are:

Am I living by my principals?

I have a friend and coleuge that is the driving force in this thought. He will often ask if the message we are sending, the project we are planning or the development we are doing part of our overall principal? In other words, are we undermining what we really want to gain with something less than that isn’t aligned with our vision of our future.

This is powerful stuff. When I started to really think about that for my own life it really started to effect my communication style, the career choices I was making and even my day to day activities around my own home. Now, don’t get me wrong. I fail and I fail hard, but I am working towards living up to the expectations that I have for myself. As a atheist humanist I don’t have a book or other ruling guideline, which some who do, might think it is impossible to navigate these waters, but what I have found is that it makes me ever more sure that what I am setting out to do is deeply felt and understood. I’m not winging this, folks.

Is my word matching my vision of how I want to be perceived?

Communication skills may be one of the areas that I see people fail at most often. Even in the best of circumstances people aren’t feeling like they are understood even though they think they are trying their very best. I know that I am, personally, working on tone, body language and listening. What’s that old joke? We have two ears and one mouth so should the two beat the one at the communicating game? Listening is probably one of the harder skills that we learn as people. It means not being right. It means not sharing your story. It means just hearing what someone else is saying without an agenda towards yourself. That practice alone, which I am just a beginner at, is humbling to the experience of communication.

Do my actions mirror my vision of myself?

Do I do what I say I am going to do? If I am honest with myself I would say that I am about a 85% at this right now. I have great intention, but sometimes my follow through isn’t as perfect as it could be. This isn’t usually in client work, it is more in personal and relationship nurturing areas… because as we all know sometimes those are the areas that get the least attention. Bringing my A game on this at all times would be my ultimate goal to feel like I have shown my mission, not just talked about it.

Is this overwhelming?

Sure, living like this on a daily basis can seem overwhelming. Hell, I just want to goof off too sometimes and not worry about the big stuff, but as I reached my 40’s, with all of my immediate family deceased, I have a deep understanding that this is all you get. Use it wisely. Figure out how you want to swim in the river with all the other fish; not getting caught in a net that you didn’t navigate, see or understand.

Not sure where to start? Think about the fact that this is your life and you can craft it anyway you want. Even if you have a shitty job and a mortgage you can barely afford; you know, obligations. You can meet those with a smile or a frown. You can arrange your days in a way that further your future. You can align yourself with people who matter. You can decide your days.

08/25/2013

I've been thinking, lately, about how we support one another. With more and more of us working as either independent professionals or in small businesses we might not have access to the support that a larger corporate structure might have. Even in those, though, you can feel like a lone ship off doing your own thing. We have the opportunity, through online and offline resources, to get connected, build community and be supported. Here are a few ways that I have done that in the last several months:

Gather Your Tribe:

I live in a very small town (under 2500 population) and it is a retirement community. I didn't realize, don't look amazed, that it was filled with old people. I know, I know, what does retirement mean? I thought that they would be filled with people like my husband and I who left the city in search of slower, smaller and sweeter. Well, they did, but at 65 instead of 35. So, although I have many friends who are 20+ years older than me, I was lonely for people my own age.

I'm a blogger. I've been doing this for 7 years and I thought they would be a good place to find other somewhat introverted folks who had great personalities if they would just come out from behind their device.

I built a Facebook page for Northwest Arkansas Bloggers a year ago and started inviting all of the bloggers I knew in the area asking them to invite friends too. Then 3 months ago I started Meetups at area restaurants for cocktails. Just a couple of hours where new and old friends who happen to blog can come out and hang with other bloggers.

They came and they are psyched about coming again. It meets monthly at a location decided by the group. No agenda, no sponsors, just bloggers getting together. We make connections and it has made me a better blogger!

Say Yes to Coffee

I'm busy. There is NO getting around that. I am 43 and I have a zillion to do items. I don't REALLY have time for coffee with anyone, but I make time each week to have coffee with someone. Usually they want some advice, want to talk about a project, or are just wanting to connect and it is great.

I am happy to get out of the office and talk to smart, excited people. It makes my brain happier and if I can make a connection for them anywhere I am super thrilled. It's like having the water cooler in the office, but just once a week.

Create an Online Group:

I wanted to dive deeper into creating the habit I've wanted for 20 years - meditation, writing, exercising everyday. I have tried developing this habit on my own to no real success. So I created the 30 Day Challenge, a free Facebook group, for myself and others to develop a new habit. I posted about it here on the blog, on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. 20 folks jumped in with their own projects that they wanted to do everyday. It is so encouraging - even when it isn't working - because they are also working towards something.

Each day we post what day were are on (people can start their project whenever they want) and if they did it or not. Most people talk a little bit about how it is going for them and how they want to adapt the process. We cheer and offer support for each other. The amazing thing is that most of us are sticking to what we promised ourselves - in community we are making things happen. You can still join - just send me a message at jacqueline wolven at gmail dot com

Jacqueline Wolven @jackiewolven is a small business/small town marketing, simplicity lifestyle expert, inspiring speaker and consultant. Featured in Real Simple and TinyBuddha. Find out more.

05/04/2013

Adding a meditation or prayer practice to your day can seem daunting. How long do you sit? How do you track if you are really doing it? Isn't it loney sitting all alone? There are no right answers to any of that, but the Insight Timer tool for iPhone and Android devices makes it a little easier to figure it out. I have been using it for about a month and I am so pleased to have this little app making this practice a little bit easier.

How I Use Insight Timer:

Setting the Timer: I set the duration I would like to sit. Most frequently I sit for 10 minutes. It isn't a long time, I can fit it into my morning, and it gives me enough time to center and leave a little of the thoughts rattling around in my mind behind.

Bells & Reminders: I set my bells. The bells help to keep you focused and not wander off. One of the nicest things about Insight Timer are the bells. They sound just like the meditation timers and wooden blocks used in traditional meditation practice. It seems like a small thing, but it feels nice to hear something that rings so true. There is a beginning bell and then interval bells. I set one that rings three minutes into the practice, which usually reminds me to come back to my breath and then I set one for three minute's from the end, which does the very same thing. Then a bell rings at the end to signify the end of the session. Have I mentioned that my mind wanders?

Insight Connect: Another feature is that you can see all of the folks who are meditating at the same time you are. After you finish your session you can click the Insight Connect button on the home screen and see the folks around the world who are meditating along with you. If you are inclined you can tap on one of the profiles and send them a little message thanking them for meditating with you.

Log & Statistics: The app also keeps track of when you meditate and for how long. It is an interesting feature because it can give you the average amount of time that you are sitting. If you were trying to challenge yourself by doing a 30 day practice or even 100 days this would be a way to see if you were able to complete that.

Journal: There is also a journal that you can record insights that you might have had from your session. I don't use that, but that is because I am committed to journaling longhand in a composition book.

Social Networks: The app can also post on Twitter and Facebook. I currently am doing this, although I am not sure that will continue long-term. Meditation isn't a public sport for me. Right now it is on, but I'm not sure if it is something I'll keep up. I mean, really, does anyone out there care if I a meditating everyday?

I used to just use the timer on my phone. That worked fine, but I wanted to know that I was sitting with other people. It can be isolating to be practicing meditation alone in your home. Knowing that Anna from Oslo, Corbin from Utah, and Jenn from San Francisco sat at the same time I was seems to make it feel like I am part of something larger than just myself. I bought the app, but there is a free version. I'd love to know if you try it or if you have a meditation tool that you like better. Always curious over here!