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Bitter Space Invaders

I just watched that Martian movie with Matt Damon. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a dude that goes with a crew to Mars, but the crew doesn’t make it there. So he is left on Mars without anyone else. He is all alone. Eventually, he finds a way to survive off of planting things and making contact with the people of earth. Through many difficult trials and such, just like Hollywood always does to its characters, he “spoiler alert” survives and makes to back to earth.

Let’s go back to the part where he was on the planet alone. For him and the extroverts of the world, this would be a nightmare. For me and a lot of introverts, this would be pure bliss. Sure, we wouldn’t survive very long without other people, but can I imagine a life of not going to parties and awkwardly trying to come up with conversation? Can I imagine never having to say good morning to anyone every morning? Can I imagine never having to speak in front of a crowd of strangers or travel on an airplane flight and having to talk to my seatmate? Yes, yes I can.

A whole lot of years ago, I realized that my day starts out pretty amazingly. I wake up, take a shower, get ready for work, drive to work, and get in about an hour and a half before anyone comes in. Do you know what all those things have in common? I haven’t talked to anyone. Not in the shower, not on the drive in and not in the first few hours at work.

I need to educate people on personal space.

Then people come in. All of a sudden, my day starts going terribly and horribly downhill. Life becomes miserable as soon as I start interacting with people. Seven people asking how my morning was. Seven people asking me how my weekend. Seventeen people asking me to do things for them. Three people asking if we can have a meeting. Do you see where it all goes wrong? The amazing efficiency with which I do all things is gone.

You know what kills efficiency? That’s right. People. At my old job, for a while, I was just doing admin work. I was pretty good at getting things done until I had to start taking phone calls. I didn’t even answer that many, but when I did, I would inevitably get a problem child, and they would require to alter my whole day. I was like a meteor in space on a trajectory toward a planet that was supposed to arrive at a certain time. But then some little tiny, but angry other space rock collided with me and now I’m headed toward another planet and will never make it back to Planet Productivity. It isn’t aliens that are the Space Invaders. It’s other humans.

Do you understand why I like my space? How do people hinder and interrupt your days? Let me know in the comments.

Bitter Space Needer Ben

P.S. Hello Bitter Friends. I just want you all to know that I am going to start including affiliate links on my posts. Basically, for any subject I talk about, I will link to products on Amazon that are related to the thing I just talked about. I will probably also link to products I’m interested in too. No pressure, but if you would like to help me make a little money on the side, click the link and purchase the item and I get a little kickback. Also, if you are thinking of buying anything on Amazon, let me know and I will include a link somewhere in a blog post for you and it will help me by doing so. Plus, it will be like a challenge for me to incorporate a word I might not have been thinking about in a post, so yeah for that. Thanks for following me through all the different changes I’ve been implementing. Enjoy the bitterness!

Loved that movie, even though the author was basically plagiarizing my life. Living in isolation sucks sometimes, but you get kind of used to it. And sometimes, you even get to make (painfully slow, even cryptic) communication with the earthlings, which breaks the monotony.

I wish! I’d love to see him close up, to know if he actually has a face under that helmet. 😝 No, I meant that my life is pretty much like surviving alone in a hab on Mars, trying to connect with other humans (but without the sweeping views of the desert).

About Me

Greetings Bitter People of the Internet. My name is Bitter Ben and I started blogging when I got fed up. Talking to people, listening to them complain and blame me for things I had nothing to do with. A long time ago, I learned in marketing that you should find a need and fill it. I started noticing that a lot of people like to complain about little things, but they felt ashamed to do it, because they felt like they were being petty.

I came up with the idea to start a 900 line (1-900-BITR-BEN), where people could call and complain about all the little things that drove them crazy, but the twist was that the Customer Service Rep could also complain back. This would not only allow all the complainers to get it out of their systems, but the call would be longer and I would get more money. This lead me to come up with my tag line, “We make bitter better.” That idea failed because of a number of reasons, so instead I did the next best thing.

I started my blog www.bensbitterblog.com, and it was a huge success. I had 10,000 loyal bitter followers, but that blog was ruthlessly and painful taken from me by WordPress. Read more here and here.

A blog wasn’t enough for me though. I wanted T-shirts, Bitter Themed Restaurants, and maybe even a last placed sports team. Since my blog was stolen from me, I decided to start this one, that includes everything Entertainment, IE Bitter Entertainment Network, or BEN.

This means as soon as I get up and running. I am going to start an actual television network, via YouTube where you will see everything related to Bitterness. Buckle up, it going to be a bitter ride. For now, jump into this bitter filled environment, where you are free to complain as bitterly as you like. No matter how petty, all bitterness is free to roam these wide open bitter halls, or meadows if you prefer. Comment the heck out of every post, because you can be sure I will comment right back with more bitterness. Let’s “Make Bitter Better”.