I can't be! But it is... Zeus is officially done with his immortal family's bickering. He finds help... Help in the form of an annoying lady with a PhD that charges 300 dollars an hour... Hilarity will ensue! Currently: Demeter vs Hades

Disclaimer: If I owned PJO, I'd have a lot of money, right? Well, that's proof right there- I have no money, therefore I don't own PJO.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long! Between a four-day long power outage and high school starting in eight days, I've been kind of busy. As always, I love you all. This chapter's going to be Demeter vs Hades, as that won the poll. I've got a pretty good idea of what you all want next, so I'm not going to put up any more polls.

The Olympians Attend Group Therapy

Chapter Five

"So, how was your bonding time?" Apollo asked Athena and Poseidon a week later in the waiting room.

"Absolutely horrible-"

"Movie was awful-"

"-Poseidon owes me four hundred dollars because of all the seafood and popcorn he ate-"

"-Athena threw shrimp in my lap at the restaurant-"

"-Poseidon embarrassed me-"

"-Athena wouldn't let me shoot spit balls-"

"Okay, okay!" yelled Apollo. "I don't need all the gory details. Anyways, The Lil' Sis is Huntering with her hot Hunters, but she told me she should be here in a couple minutes. I think she's the only one not here yet..."

Aphrodite looked up from her compact mirror. "Yeah, I think so."

At that minute, Artemis walked in, looking slightly frazzled. Her day only got worse when she realized that the only seat remaining in the waiting room was next to her brother. Groaning, she sat down with an audible sigh and pulled out a copy of Archery Weekly.

"Hey, Lil' Sis!" Apollo yelled, receiving a "Shush!" from some nameless lady across the room.

"Don't call me that, Apollo! And quiet down," she hissed in response.

"We were just talkin' about you. You know, you don't look too good, Baby Sister. Hard day with your attractive, hot Hunters?"

"Don't you have a toy car to play with?" Artemis said.

"Nah, that was so last week."

Artemis rolled her eyes and continued to read her magazine, ignoring Apollo when he got bored and decided to wave his hand in front of her face.

Hera looked up from her copy of How to Have a Happy Marriage When Your Husband is a Lying, Cheating Womanizer to roll her eyes at Apollo.

"Dig deep, Hades. It's not your fault that you love her daughter. Demeter, are you sure it's Hades you're mad at? I see cases like this all the time, and most of the time the mothers just don't want to let their daughters go."

Demeter stood quickly, forgetting about the cereal in her lap. It spilled onto Dr. Brown's carpet, but no one really noticed. "I'd be just fine if she had married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers! Someone that's faithful, at the very least!"

"Okay, I think I've got a good grip on this problem," Dr. Brown said, looking up from her clipboard. "I've got a few things I want the two of you to do together."

"Not another board game!" Demeter groaned. "If it's a board game, can it at least be Farmville?"

"Demeter, that isn't a board game! You spend too much time on Facebook," said Hades.

"I want you to play a little game. It's fun and it may help you two understand each other better," Dr. Brown continued. "Hades says a word, and Demeter continues with another word off that one. You go back and forth until you make a story."

"How is that going to help anything?" Hades asked.

"Just trust me. Hades, you go first."

"My," Hades began.

"Cereal," Demeter continued.

"Likes."

"To."

"Jump."

"Because."

"It."

"Is."

"Fun."

"And."

"My."

"Cereal."

"Is."

"Training."

"For."

"The."

"Olympics."

"This is useless!" exclaimed Demeter. "I still hate Hades! He doesn't even let her have cereal at his palace, you know. It just isn't right!"

"...Right. Okay, Demeter and Hades, you need to learn to understrand each other. Hey, you've already got one thing in common! You both love Persephone, right?"

Demeter and Hades slowly looked to each other.

"And you both want what's best for her. Why don't you two build off that?"

The two gods shrugged.

Dr. Brown smiled, as if her work was complete. "All right. I know that was a short session, but I'll give you a discount, all right? I've got two new employees to train. One of them already broke the fax machine. Demeter and Hades- work it out; give each other a chance. I'll be seeing Mrs. Hera and Mr. Zeus privately next week, correct?"

"Yeah," Zeus said, looking to the floor. Hera grinned.

"Oh, Zeusy! She might finally knock some sense into you!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two rooms away, Percy groaned. "Dang it! I almost thought I fixed the fax machine! Nico, did you have to sit on it?"

Nico rolled his eyed. "Brown's working us like dogs! I couldn't help it."

At that moment, Dr. Brown walked in. "How's it coming, boys?"

Percy shrugged. "It's okay. Hey, you look pretty tired..."

She sighed. "I've been dealing with this circus troupe for a few weeks. They're a nightmare, even by a therapist's standards! Anyway, I've got a guy coming in an hour to see if he can fix the machine; it's coming out of your paycheck, Nico."

"Yes, Dr. Brown."

"Now I better prep for next week. Mrs. Hera and Mr. Zeus are coming in for marriage counseling. I have a feeling my office isn't going to look the same after they leave."

As Dr. Brown turned to leave, Percy and Nico looked to each other in horror.

"Wait... Hera and Zeus?"

A/N: Not my best work, but I figured it wasn't nice of me to leave you hanging for too long. Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone for the support... again. Thanks!

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