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Home Again -- May 08, 2003

We brought Sam home from the hospital yesterday. His surgery went very well ("boring" was how the neurosurgeon referred to it).

Turns out Sam had an encephalocele. This was something the surgeon was prepared to find so it wasn't too big of a surprise. He was even so thoughtful as to take before and after pictures of the actual open surgical site for David and I to look at. Sam remained on the ventilator until later in the afternoon as his drive to breathe didn't seem to kick in right away. But once the doctor on duty in the pediatric ICU let us tell him a little bit about Sam and listened to our theories and suggestions regarding his breathing, he made a few changes in Sam's treatment. Soon after Sam began breathing on his own and fighting that tube in his throat.

Thank you to all who called, wrote and kept little Samuel in your thoughts and prayers. We took comfort knowing that there was so much loving energy surrounding Sam.

had i not crested each wave of labor to your glorious
emergence
had i not been there for your debut
i would have thought you were dropped from heaven
your body damaged in the fall
but your spirit whole — big, beautiful and pure

never imagining my love to be so complete and selfless
not expecting my fierce desire to make your little body able
and perfect
or my fear to change anything
lest my meddling somehow diminish your beauty