Hullo. I'm Dani.

I left with a note by the staircase, With newly baked bread sliced on the counter, And freshly squeezed orange juice in the fridge. I’d prepared for goodbye the best way I could, But I never thought to explain why I’d gone.

I left with a heavy heart, But you saw it as folly-- A woman who had no courage or honour or courtesy. A woman who was a child in an adult’s body.

In my defence, I am no longer a child, At that point in time, I was more than able to make my decision, But even children are their own selves And perhaps they’re just as entitled to the good faith I ought to have received So I would not offend them by invalidating decisions such as these-- Decisions you refuse to acknowledge. I left with a note by the staircase, Because what needed to be said I had already told you In between packing my bags and breaking my promises. If you’d only listened to the sighs that escaped From the space between my teeth. If you’d only noticed. But you did. You knew this was coming, And so did I. So I left, hoping to send a letter wherever I arrived. To explain why I did not need to explain, But if all had gone as I had hoped, The letter need not even be sent. You’d have understood. I’d have cried in relief, And you’d have lent me your shoulder.

Instead, you presumed me dead, And you buried me in the ashes of the blueprints you burned.

After three days of mourning, when you tried to pull me from the grave, When you saw my flesh and bones And finally believed I was not a ghost, You said I’d changed into a monster before your very eyes As if the mess that I was was undeserving of kindness.

As if our friendship was reduced to a single act of treason: The charge against me? Your unhappiness But I am my own person And I have long stood mirroring the smile on your face Though the curve lipped grin was not my own.

I suppose it’s for the best That you see me as a fallen angel with broken wings Because I’d always tried to tell you That I was exactly that.

And if you could not see past my demonic nature Into the desperation in my eyes Then I suppose it’s best that I was the one who left.