Phoenix is Risen

out of the matrix

There is a narrative in spirituality that says: ‘We chose that’ – or, ‘We chose that when we signed up for this life.´ Often it is used to understand suffering from a spiritual perspective, a personal perspective, or a collective perspective .

The problem is when that narrative makes us cold and indifferent to suffering.

When we use it as an excuse not to intervene or to generally recognize the boxed in religions’ take and main Matrix of life, which broadly translates into: Yes, we came to this Earth to suffer, and the suffering ends when we die and go to ‘a better place.’ (The best excuse ever made for treating people like dirt.)

So why go here in the first place? Forced? Hardly.

We evolve through opposites and our way of steering through them and deciding which path to take. To stretch that argument – and it is not a far stretch – we chose between what we see as Darkness and Light.

As we know, many cover their darkness in a spiritual coating. I have touched upon this many times, so I will not go into that here. Unfortunately, those who do so operate under the cover of awareness – of being aware. The reality is their lack of self-awareness. They feel entitled. Let me leave that for what it is – it speaks for itself.

It is mirrored in politics.
The new ‘progressive’ left, with its appetite for censoring, suppression, and character assassinations of anyone who doesn’t plug into their promotion of being offended over basically everything, shows a severe gap of self-awareness when they act like and turn to the tools of fascism.
Disempowerment is their aim while promoting empowerment. That is why they mirror some distorted dynamics in spirituality.

The new-age prophets, gurus and aspirants tell us to “be grateful”. The Church tells us to “be grateful for what God has given you”. The Eastern mystics say “Practice gratitude”.
Be grateful your parents tell you. Be grateful for your “blessings”, and for your “abundance” we are told. Be grateful for your demeaning job (if you are “lucky” enough to have one) and your debt.
What they are really saying is just take it. Don’t doubt it, don’t examine it, and most certainly don’t question it. Just take it and be nice while you are about it.

What we are being force fed is not nourishing, it is not loving, virtuous, or anything else even approaching integrity of any kind. But be grateful. There is something wrong with this picture – in the form of what could be called “default gratitude”.

We are living in the time of the “upside-down”.
War is peace, credit is debt, sustainability is wholesale destruction, integration is genocide, it goes on and on … Our very language has become a weapon that is used against us. We have been so terrorised that we are afraid to even use gender correct pronouns.
Politeness has become a form of abuse. But be grateful for that. When we are told to be grateful –we are really being told something very different, something sinister and disempowering. And it has nothing to do with what real gratitude is. It is its opposite.

If you are not grateful, or at least displaying gratitude, then you are not playing the game. We are talking about a cloned version of gratitude. Compulsory gratitude. Default gratitude. Weaponised gratitude. The commodified new-age version of the practice of gratitude.

What they are really saying is that this dreadful and corrupt situation that you find yourself in is “god-given” or it is the result of your lack of faith, or your lack of positive thought, or a previous life, or your sin.
Your financial problems are your fault – you didn’t train, or get a degree, you missed the housing bubble, or you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But be grateful for that. When the good stuff happens it is due to a “higher” power, an external force – so be grateful.

When stuff goes wrong it is more likely to be caused by some error, wrong doing or deficiency on your part. So show some gratitude in the hope that the gods of supply and demand will notice your passive good behaviour and reward it. When we delve deeply into it, we are being trained to be good little children, to be polite, to say please and thank you, no matter what. And to not question what is being done to us. What exactly are we being driven to be grateful for? That this is as good as it gets? That this is as good as it can get?That appears to be the message.

I get a number of mails, people telling that they seem to be a bit ‘down’ and feeling a touch of hopelessness.

Such ‘soul searching voids’ can be very interesting, if they are not confused with swimming around in a soup of doubt, which is not very interesting, but sometimes necessary – if we feel sorry for ourselves or we think the navel is the most interesting place in the universe or – and that is a real opportunity for growth:
When we detach from whatever we need to detach from, a void will appear. The flip side of detachment.

We often find ourselves in these voids through life, but they can only be perceived as voids if we somehow have engaged in soul searching, self-development, or in some manner have worked with ourselves on a conscious level.

It seems like when we hit the void at this level, the soul is confused on how to proceed, to take a choice, to “giving it up”, which of course is not the same as “giving up”. When the soul does that it hurts and stings until we can shift perspective on it and find ourselves actually in a natural state of mind.

The void holds great benefits. We seek it through meditation or other techniques. What we seek is the calm and quiet of it, away from the Ego-business in our minds and nervous systems.

So actually, somehow we know that ‘void state of mind’ to be very healing, and maybe we really don’t know: that we´re home, really home in that void.

No grand ego schemes, no attachment – just the silent pulse of being often combined with a quiet like melancholy vibe.

We have many homes in the void during the quest of our lives, and when we finally come home and can rest a while, we might still see the void as a problem. It isn’t. It’s a gift. Often brilliant creativity springs from the Void, so it’s a potential we have. Why not use it wisely?

On a small peak overlooking the plains, Wolf was contemplating the Zen hour of twilight below his beloved tree under an approaching new moon. He´d been there all day, in fact he´d been there for many moons.

By noon his rest was interrupted by a commotion coming from the plain beneath him. It was the joyous greeting of a returning son of the flock. Looking up it brought great joy to his heart that a member had returned.

As tradition would call for, Wolf noticed The Returned making his way up to greet him, over the plain it came and soon it was close. A small spider made its way over Wolfs paw. ‘Sorry-didn’t mean to step on any toes’ Spider nervously stuttered. Wolf smiled.

‘Permission to approach?’ The Returned politely asked (also a formal greeting).

‘Sure’, Wolf replied.

The Returned settled beside Wolf.

‘Welcome, good that you are back, hope you had a good year’, Wolf said with kindness in his eyes.

‘I did. It was awesome. One year at the Academy and you are certainly not the same. I´ve learned so much. Strategies of hunting, different strategies for protection of the flock and how to deal with renegades, strategies of protection against the Human world, crises management. The Pillars of Debating. Ohh don’t even get me started.’

Wolf responded with an appreciative nod.

‘It was a wonderful year and I found love. She will come and join the flock if granted by the full moon.’

Often the concept of ‘going home’ seems so inviting.
Not that used to being here, we have come once again from the vastness of the cosmos with our celestial knowledge roaming wildly inside the alchemy of our hearts, looking for fellow travelers. We will find. We will know.

Some say that reincarnation is a complicated affair. Some say they ‘don’t have to come here no more’.

Not considering the pull of the heart.
Not considering the love for it all.
Not considering ‘Celestial Consciousness’.

Desire driven we are.
Not Ego desire – it is the desire of our spirits to evolve.

We might not understand that it is one thing and one thing only that drives us, thrives us, fills us in the space between lives where we are in the flesh. Every life is a drop in a cool morning drizzle, and without the drops there would be nothing to caress the soil dark as summer into a display of abundance.

When we look from the spirit world at people in harms way, we don’t stay.

When our spiritual family (soulmates) leaves the celestial realms out of that desire, we don’t stay behind.

We see it from a divine perspective that seems like a forgotten knowledge, washed away by the constructs of a planet in deep dark pain telling us that we are not eternal, that we are not the souls we are looking for, making us petty, making us dispensable. They look at us, like some look at the dharma of the people here living ‘quiet lives.’ How dare they, even on the account of spiritual superiority.

Seems like good people are getting stirred and shaken at the present, once again the calm inside goes haywire and loss of direction kicks in. When the calm inside gets stirred up, it doesn’t mean the heart based toning is gone, it ‘just’ changes frequency. We once more have to dive into our attachments and detachments.

The treasures of this world are not by default bathed in light – they often rest in the darkest of places. Sometimes high impact events on an emotional scale will shed light in the darkest corners of the inner realms of consciousness and empowerment will kick in, transcending the darkest of moments into shining light.

There’s beauty to be found in the obvious and there’s beauty to be found in abandoned worn out factory halls where doves come to rest for the night.

“It’s hard to stick to the heart in the matrix”, some say.
There’s an overlooked quality of the heart and mind I would like to point to: “Staying Power”.

Since no fancy mundane flight schedule will ever take you away from yourself; we are both the passenger and the vehicle of transportation. Some are into heavy drug use to avoid that fact. Some slits their wrists in order to get away from themselves. We live, we die and death not ends it.

A shift of location can bring about a shift in perception and a single notch of perception often does the trick.
Sometimes an external location – but most often an internal location, where we seem to have rested too long without the feeling of making any progress. Seasons for rest – seasons for growth. The eternal swing of the eternal pendulum in the eternal Dao.

It’s like looking at a piece of art and thinking, it’s not that interesting, something is missing. A custodian sees that, takes your hand and says: Try this angle and the piece of art reveals itself in all of its beauty.
So obviously hidden and such a tiny move in order for perception to change. Shifting lonely for beauty and love into action for beauty and love.

Often left-brain subscribing folks love this argument so much that they would pin it to the wall of their finest victories, showing off how sharp their minds really are.

Throw them a near-death experience and they would write it off as chemical reactions before the brain shuts down.

Throw them a kiss, and they debunk into neurological processes.

Spirituality doesn’t take you away from reality, as some critics of free thinking spirituality would claim, it gets us in touch with Reality V2.

I like both sides of the tale, since a kiss will carpet bomb the nervous systems with all the cool drugs we can produce inside, and the other side, the spiritual side, just adds to that – and a kiss can send you eons back in time, and make you write inspiring poems about the anatomy of love.

It seems so silly not to embed both sides of the story, for whatever story we are telling or experiencing. Luckily the war between science and spirituality, the more subjective way of experiencing life, seems to have gone into a ceasefire, as goes for personal belief patterns. I wish it would do the same when the talk targets alternative treatments, mostly homeopathy. But again, some alternative treatments are way out there and so are the treatments that pure science has to offer.

Before we even enter those thoughts or beliefs, either in Science or in Spirituality, it might help to define: Objective Reality and Subjective Reality.

Science would say that 1 kilo of Sugar is one kilo of sugar.

I know that, but sometimes it feels heavy and sometimes it feels light. Depends. So the idea of 1 kilo is impacted by something else: Could be the mood, could be laziness, could be that I don’t dig sugar. But it still is 1 kilo.

Somehow this is a ‘back to normal winter’ in this particular bay along the Mediterranean Sea, which has its own micro climate of subtropical due to the surrounding mountains which form a horseshoe protection from the winds coming from continental Spain.

The sun has done absolutely nothing but shine since Novembers rains – which hit hard in some places along the coast, but spared this part.

Before the sunlight folded back into itself, painting the sky pink and orange in a lush abundance of goodbye for today, she said: “Honey lets go out and get some food.” Neither of us cared to cook, so we did.

Going outside, we head about 10 minutes down a narrow road and we meet the river and the sugarcanes swaying in a gentle breeze somehow in harmony with the sound of air going through the palm trees and the birds that whistle, like you would imitate a long whistle sound that resembles something falling and softly hitting the ground. It starts high pitched and it ends in a low pitch.

I got struck again. Overwhelmed by beauty and The Big Calm which morphed into a state of Gratitude.

Longer down the path, we could spot people with fishing rods, as thin silhouettes against the bluest of blue and the optical illusion provided by the sun straight in my eyes made them transparent, coming in and out of physical manifestation. I adore that sight.

We went about the next corner and followed the shoreline.

This town doesn’t have a boardwalk, since it is beach after beach like pearls on a string so there is no sunset rush hour. Just tranquil. A couple of dog walkers and lovers holding hands.

The state of gratitude elevated further. Until a certain point – life seems like a two sided coin.

On one side we have our more or less ‘popular problems’ and those we would rather not have. On this particular day, I had been dealing with people whose shoes one really would not like to be in. The heavy stuff.

The other side of that coin is not the absence of troubles to me anymore. The other side of the coin is Gratitude.

Not gratitude as a spiritual strategy in spite of troubles as a needed band aid to heal our individual suffering with.

Gratitude in its pure state does not have an agenda like: ‘Look at me God-Force and how grateful I am, now: do your cool stuff’.

I’d like to explain one of the great mysteries faced by spiritual seekers. On the surface this mystery sounds simple. The most basic statement of it is this: You don’t have to go anywhere to reach higher consciousness. At some level you are already enlightened. All you have to do is to uncover this level within yourself.

There are countless versions of the same teaching. “Be still and know that I am God” is a religious version. So is “The kingdom of Heaven is within.” Outside religion a version from India is called “the pathless path.” However different, all these teachings imply the same thing: The seeker’s goal is here and now. There is nowhere to go, no journey to take, no distance between the beginning and the end of the seeker’s path.

The reason for the mystery is that this teaching hasn’t worked for thousands of people who genuinely want the experience of higher consciousness. Inevitably, they wind up struggling inside themselves trying to locate this mysterious place where enlightenment—you can also call it God, Nirvana, liberation, or self-realization—supposedly lies. Instead of being here and now, the goal remains elusive, far away, and invisible, even after years of meditation, prayer, reflection, contemplation, and other spiritual practices. It’s all very frustrating.

We can unravel the mystery, however, with a simple fact. There is only one reality. There is no division between reality “in here” (subjective) and reality “out there.” The beauty of this simple fact is that you no longer have to struggle within yourself. You only have to unveil reality. So how has reality been disguised from us all these years?

Whatever feels real to you is always filtered through your personal experience. The filter can have any source, usually a worldview you believe in: religion, myth, science, your own personal story. In every case the mind has created a viewpoint that gives you an interpretation of reality, making everything personal. As we each become accustomed to our personal filters, we buy into personal reality totally. If there is a reality independent of the mind, we cannot know it.

Every experience is mind-made, whether the experience happens “in here’ or “out there.” What we call a person is a conditioned identity. What we call the outside world is a conditioned projection. We participate every day in a process that took centuries to develop as human awareness fashioned reality to suit human needs.

Conditioning serves a purpose: to make experience seem continuous. Objects look stable; the mind is constantly active; time flows along. In reality, however, experiences are fleeting and evanescent. They rise and fall instantaneously and cannot be grasped or held on to. Holding on to your last thought is as impossible as holding on to a dream. Stitching reality together through a series of perceptual snapshots, which is what we all do, is very useful, but reality frozen into a series of snapshots isn’t truly real.

If you look at it directly, every experience happens here and now. Now is immediate and present. Once you notice the present moment, another now has taken its place. So now has no duration on its own. It cannot be measured on the clock. In reality, now is outside clock time; therefore it is timeless: the so-called eternal now. We experience anything outside the here and now as a mental projection. The past is a mental construct, including the history of the universe. Mental models created the Big Bang, giving time a beginning when in reality time has no beginning or end.

It merges from the deepest dark within as ignited by something stronger than we ever thought we were.

That ‘Something’ is our eternal being, forgotten by the meaningless and shallow life inside the framework of a world diluted of true spiritual values, losing its composure trying to replace it with a life in spiritual and mundane confinement.

Often fear and loathing of that world translates into: Fearing and loathing ourselves and we start to spiral down an endless pit, because the possibility of fitting in is no longer an option.

The soulless hostility of this world smashing into the soulful gentleness of our inner core.

By that impact a light is born. That light is: Grace.

Woven in a Celestial toning, an inner vibrant voice breaks through, gently whispering into the ear of the shaken Soul:
I Love You