Anybody remember the song from the title? If you don’t, you’re probably 30 or younger. As for me, I remember singing that little ditty all the way to and from school in my dad’s old station wagon, fake wood siding and all. Ah, memories. Those were sweet times.

So was the beginning of my romance with Rex. Oh how we loved to kiss. And now, although of course I still cherish Rex, it’s not second nature to kiss him hello and goodbye every day. Nor am I always compelled to swan dive into our marriage bed at the day’s close (Though it would be a very soft landing given the large piles of laundry.) My kids? That’s another story. I can’t count how many kisses I dole out each day. Maybe 25 before even leaving the house? Given this letter I just received, I know I’m not alone in this quandry. This BabyCenter commenter wrote:Dear Andrea,

I don’t know if you take “requests” or not but I thought of a topic today as I was leaving for work that is of interest to me. I figure since you have such a captive and willing audience, you might be able to help me find an answer to my question. My problem is this….

There used to be a time in my relationship when we would kiss eachother “hello” and/or “goodbye”. That doesn’t happen anymore. When I leave for work in the morning, I kiss and hug my son goodbye but not my husband. I know that I should initiate it if I want it but it doesn’t seem to be “the thing to do” anymore. In the evening when I return, I kiss and hug my son hello but again not my husband. When he leaves, he does not kiss or hug me.

Don’t get me wrong, we acknowledge each other but not with kisses and hugs. Is that setting the right example for my son? Shouldn’t we as parents be showing him what it means to care for one another? As his mother I’d like him to be a gentleman to his wife one day and show her through physical interaction.”

Well, what do you think? Should we make more of a point to kiss our spouses hello and goodbye? I personally think so and have started doing just that. On a crazy day I might even walk Rex to the door. On an even crazier day, I might even greet him with lipstick, heels and an apron cold beer and the remote control. But I’m going to start with the small stuff: kissing him goodbye every day.

Thoughts on kissing your hubby or significant other hello/goodbye every day? Anyone else have ideas you want to chat about? Email me at BabyCenterAndrea@Yahoo.com or visit my website www.lifehappins.com. I have email there, too.

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We still kiss goodbye most times, but usually not at the end of the day when he comes home from work… my daughter runs to hug him and he has an armload of stuff and I’m cooking dinner, so half of the time it doesn’t happen unless he comes over to kiss me. I think it is an important example to set for the kids… I definitely noticed and remember my dad kissing/hugging my mom a lot when I was younger, and I still notice when he does at the end of the day. Not that doing that will automatically make for a great marriage or that you have a bad marriage if you don’t, but affection is in general always a good thing, and I think those kind of visible expressions are healthy for kids to see and feel secure about their parents’ marriage.

Lindsay

We don’t kiss in the morning since my DH leaves before I am awake, but we usually kiss when I get home. Our daughter, 2 1/2 years old, is so funny when she witnesses it and tells her Daddy in outrage to “Leave Mommy alone!! My Mommy!” She does not like to share her Mommy, not even with Daddy!

http://greenacrosstexas.blogspot.com/ Maxine

I am big on giving kisses and hugs before we leave and when we come home. I also remember my parents being affectionate (sometimes too affectionate for a 13 yr old’s mind – “gross guys!” at the pat on the butt). I think it’s a wonderful way to show your kids how to be in a loving relationship. I say to the questioner – even if it doesn’t seem like the thing to do, if you want to, DO IT! My view is that you don’t know what’s going to happen after they walk out the door and then isn’t it great that everyone made it home that night?

I am a kiss and hug junkie! I can’t get enough, from my kids or my husband. Kisses and hugs are what recharges my batteries, so they’re demanded as “payment” before I’ll grant any request. I know we’ve only been married a short time (coming up on 5 years), but it’s still important to us to observe this, with real emotion, not just for appearances sake. My folks never held hands, never sat next to each other, never had a real date that wasn’t a church event, and always had 3 quick pecks upon separation. It was a very emotionless house, no matter that they tell us now how much they love us. It’s something I need, and something I need my kids to see, that their parents really, honestly, are crazy about each other.

I think it depends on the couple. My husband and I are private about our displays of affection, but do make the effort to kiss hello and goodbye. However in public, we’re not much for holding hands or kissing.

http://italianamama06.blogspot.com/ Jacqueline

I NEED my hub’s goodbye hugs and kisses! Or at the very least, I get a kiss on the cheek (and our daughter gets a hug) It means the world to me that my hubby takes the 10 seconds to give me a goodbye kiss. In return, I try my hardest to drop whatever I’m doing when he comes in the door and go give him some love. I think the ‘little things’ mean so much to us because (like Emily) we both grew up with parents who were very stoic. I want our daughter to know that we love the heck out of each other, even though we’re not perfect and we don’t always agree.

Emily, I’m tickled pink to see that I’m not the only one who demands payment for my services!!! I read a quote the other day that said “I’m a stay-at-home mom, I get paid in hugs and kisses!” So true.

Darlene

I think the song is actually “Your kiss is on my list” (Hall & Oates)?

Amy R.

I have been thinking about this issue. I know people say that sometimes the husband feels left out when a new baby comes, but I never thought I would feel left out. I always feel a twinge of jealousy when my husband’s face lights up more when he sees my daughter than me, or wants to kiss her first. It makes me wonder if I do enough to make him feel loved.

Another lesson I learned in hugs…as I was leaving my brother’s house after Thanksgiving festivities I decided that maybe it would be awkward if I gave him a goodbye hug. Why? I don’t know. Being the youngest girl with 5 older brothers I always wonder if they even care that much for me. We only see each other a few times out of the year, and when we do we never sit and have some sort of great conversation. My brothers aren’t what you would call “chatty.” They bond over “Rockband.”

So…my husband and I got in the car about to make the 6.5 hour drive home, and I just felt sick. I felt awful for not giving him a hug. I saw the look in his eye when I was leaving and I could end our trip like that. I told my husband that I didn’t hug my brother and without pause my hubby suggested that I go back and hug him. What if he thinks I’m weird? So?

Well, I did it. I went back in and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hug you.” We hugged and it was special and I knew it meant a lot to him. I realized that even though we don’t see each other a lot and we may not have a lot in common, we are still family and we still love each other very much. Even though I thought the only way the relationship could strengthen was by talking, the experience made me realize that actions speak louder than words.

Hug and kiss away. It means more than you think

AmyW

It is a big deal in our house and it was big deal in my house growing up. I always give my kids goodbye kisses and hugs when I drop them off at daycare or before my hubby takes them to drop them off. And when I see them again it is hugs and kisses all around. My hubby and I also give each other a kiss each time we see each other and leave each other. And the last thing I HAVE to have before I fall asleep at night is a peck on the cheek from my hubby. We have been married 5.5 years and I know this is one tradition that we will keep up.

Jenny

My husband and I hug and kiss whenever one leaves or comes home…and several times in between. We also love hugging and kissing our baby boy. For us, it’s a great way to show affection and let each other know that we’re thinking about them and we love them, even if we don’t have the time to spend together like we used to before the baby. I read the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman. It goes through the different love languages, and how everyone has a different blend of the languages that they need to have love displayed to them, and keep their “love tanks” full. Both my husband’s and my primary love language is physical touch, so hugging, kissing, holding hands, and snuggling are very important to keeping us both happy. My husband didn’t read the book, but humored me and took the quiz to find out his love languages, and since we’ve discussed the book and the outcome of the quiz, he has bought into the love tank idea and lets me know when his love tank is empty and he needs some attention (before and after baby).

I also had parents who were very affectionate toward each other at home in front of us children (always kissing and hugging before Dad went to work) and in public (mostly holding hands). I always felt good knowing that they loved each other so much, especially since I would hear all the bad stories from friends whose parents were divorced. I only hope that we are creating a loving environment for our son where he knows that he is loved and mom and dad love each other as well.

http://www.numbmum.blogspot.com Betsy Shaw

Love this post. Just this morning I was lamenting the fact that I hadn’t kissed the husband in days. We’ve got the daily hugging sessions down, but kissing….? It’s the first thing to get neglected when everyone has colds.
When we were newly married I used to corner him at least once a day and ask “Have you kissed me today?” If he said, “Yes,” I would say, “I don’t remember it. Can you do it again?” I think I might need to bring this line out again.

http://www.heidishole.weebly.com Heidi

Bryan and I make it a point to kiss good bye every morning, no matter how rushed we are. When he comes home if I am home before him, I make it a point to come up and say hello and give him a kiss.

When my daughter was first born, this was really hard. I was tired and moody. We both were, to be honest. And I really felt ignored. But now that we do this small little thing, I feel loved, wanted and needed. We tend not to be very PDA-ish. But I notice now he doesn’t have as many problems giving me a little kiss in the grocery store.

At first, you will have to remind yourself to do it. Then it becomes second nature.

http://meowmie.wordpress.com Meowmie

DH and I made a concerted effort to hug and kiss when he leaves the car to go to his office, before I drive DD to childcare. I get a kiss when we meet after work, too. We had sort of gotten out of the habit but decided to work harder at it. I guess one of the things we understood early on was that marriage isn’t a state of being, it’s work with rewards. And boy, those rewards can be *fantastic* sometimes!

We insist on kissing DD when she goes to childcare or when we go out of an evening if we can get a babysitter.

And I *insist* on kissing my brothers, even if they don’t always want it. It seems my mother doesn’t make a deal of it and understandably since she works with one of them, but they can at least offer a bristly cheek to their big sister LOL! I love my brothers very much and they know it.

Karen S

I’m not a big hugger in general, but my husband and I are very demonstrative — mostly because we’re still crazy about each other. I do have to remember to kiss him goodbye before I kiss the girlie. I can’t help it; she’s so cute!

I learned the importance of goodbye hugs in a tragic way. Our friend died suddenly, at 28, and I took some comfort from the fact that the last time I saw him (still can’t believe it was the *last* time I saw him) I gave him a hug. Heaven forbid, but if anything happened to your hubby while he was out, you would feel better if at least you’d demonstrated your love.

sara

All I needed was a quick read of that headline to get it stuck in my head! I’m 29.

Lisa Z

It’s a rule in our house, no one leaves without kissing the one staying behind and saying I love you. We kiss when we get home too, although DD gets them 1st. Also a rule, kisses and our little goodnight ritual before bed, even if we aren’t together (kisses over the phone count)due to vacation or work. My parents were/are very demonstrative. I grew up in a very loving environment and want DD to do so as well.

Mary Beth

Boy do I remember that song….We kiss when he leaves for work at night(he works at night) not much when he gets home in the morning because I am getting my son ready for school. But we give eachother little pecks all day and we snuggle alot too. I grew up with that too. My parents were very affectionate and still are and they argued alot too but I remember most the kisses and my Mom saying that my Dad was the best kisser. It is really important for children to see that their parents really love eachother and that even if you have a little spat that we still love eachother.

KLN

Kiss?? What’s that!? We do, but not like we used to. I think I forget to take the time for it. I mean we often do the “peck” kiss but the really romantic kisses that could take 15 minutes have been a thing of the past. Unless there’s going to be a lot more action if you know what I mean, we simply keep it to the good ol simple hello, goodbye love ya lots peck.

http://9ndhouse.blogspot.com 9ndhouse

Here we fight over kisses, who gets the first kiss from Daddy and so forth. My husband and I get “caught” kissing all the time, I think the kids love knowing we are still very much in love with each other. They really like to tease us and steal our kisses! Mother of 7

Lei

I guess every couple turns out dry with each other. This is painful to wives for I myself have same sentiment. What’s worst is that doubts go so easy to cross one’s mind whether one is already having an affair. I know our child has noticed it. And i feel so terrible that I could not even break the barriers between his parents. Too disappointed, but still the desire to patch up is still my concern just to rebuild a strong family foundation for our child. It is so hard to raise a Godly child when there used to be two to tango. Now – i dance alone.

Teresa

I do remember that song…Hall & Oates, right? Well I grew up in a home without a lot of physical affection. We only hugged when we haven’t seen each other for a long time and ‘I love you’ when we were sorry for something. So I vowed to be more affectionate with my family. I do kiss my husband ‘Hello’ & ‘Goodbye’ everyday and my 3yr old son too (even when he doesn’t want me to! LOL!). But I do think it’s important for the children to see that the parents are in love and not afraid to express it. I think when we let our affection go stale, our marriage has a chance at going stale. I just have a terrible perpetual thought that “What if this is the last time I see him?” So even if I’m not to happy with hubby, I still make sure to kiss him and tell him I love him. If I can do that with my son then I can certainly make the effort with the man I made the CHOICE to marry.

Amy

Even after 15 years of marriage and 3 (soon to be 4!) kids, my husband and I still kiss hello and goodbye often. I occasionally forget to kiss him as I’m walking out the door to run errands, but if I remember before I’m out of the driveway (and I usually do), I’ll come back inside for my goodbye kiss!
I’m usually asleep when he leaves for work, so if he kisses me goodbye, I don’t know about it… but when he gets home, he always gives me a hello kiss first thing (usually to a chorus of, “Eww!” from the kids, lol). We still hold hands, too. And we both hug our kids at least daily–no matter how often they claim to be too old for it! 😉
If you make it a priority, it’s an easy way to stay connected and let your spouse (and kids) know you love them.

Acecia

My husband and I almost always kiss hello and goodbye.. more so on goodbye… the kids always get a kiss too.. We have been together for 13 years this year and married for 7 and I still feel the same way I did when we first got together… we still have a make out session sometimes after the kids go to bed.We hold hands in the car and when we are watching tv. Also we hold hands alot of times when we are falling asleep=)… I always remember my parents kissing when I was young and I feel it is important. To this day they still do after 36 years=).. My husbands parents divorced when he was young and he didnt even believe a marriage could work so I made a promise to myself to show him that there really is good love out there and i try to show him as much as I can. I love him with all my heart and I try to make it so he feels it too.=)

http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/ Andrea Frazer

Wow, everyone, those stories are so nice.

Lisa

My hubby and I try to make it a point to kiss hello and goodbye. We always tell each other “I love you” We do this because you just never know when it will be the last time. I hate to sound like that but it is true. I always say it to my kids also. My 17 year old daughter was killed in a car crash last year and I spoke with her on the phone minutes before it happened. I never imagined that would be the last time we said “I love you” to each other. I think it is important to teach our kids what love looks like as well as what it is. I know some people who have said their mothers’ never told them they loved them. I just can’t imagine doing that to my kids and hubby. They are the most important things in my life and I want them to know that I love them and I need to know if they love me.

http://Babycenter.com Ahsley-Ann

Am not a big fan of xoxo but since my husband just loves touching me anf feeling i guess i just got into in. We always kiss goodbyes, and goodmorning.When it’s the morning comes and i heard that alarm i just say “Shut Up” but then i turn around and there laying across from me is my cute and hansome husband. And when he open his eyes the first thing he does is kiss me and say “I love you”

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