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Author
Topic: Scared and confused (Read 4632 times)

About 6 weeks ago I was raped. Being a man, this brought me a lot of guilt and shame and it wasnt until a 4 days later, I actually went to my doctor to start testing for STDs etc. In my naivete about HIV and STDs in general, I didnt know anything about PEP. Needless to say, that opportunity has gone and now I find myself facing myriad of thoughts and questions about whether or not I was infected with HIV. I know symptoms dont mean anything but right before the 2 week mark i noticed swollen nodes which were confirmed by my doctor. To this day they are still swollen - albeit a lot less then before.

I am seeing a mental health professional for that side of things. But at the end of the day they cannot determine whether or not i was infected.

My doctor wont test me again until the 3 month mark (i was initially tested at the 4 day mark and that came out neg). I was thinking about buying the homeaccess test and doing that at the 7 week mark just for some peace of mind (or not). I just need to know. Not knowing is really killing me and i dont think i can wait another 6 weeks to find out my results. Do you think testing at the 6 week mark would be a wise decision?

Did he use a condom? Home Access will not give you a conclusive test result 6 weeks. Pay attention to your doctor and test at 3 months and be done with it. Keep yourself busy and the time will go a lot faster.

No he didnt use a condom. I was passed out pretty drunk in an upstairs bedroom. When i suddenly noticed someone on top of me. The experience was quite terrifying and I was pretty much frozen with fear. A lot of the details are muggy because of my drunken state and the situation I was put in.

I beleive he injected me in the butt with something as well but I cant be sure. I remember feeling a sharp pain and I yelled out then he said "dont move". The site was sore for a few days. I cant belive I put myself in that situation.

I know the 6 week wont be conclusive, i will get tested for sure at 3 months, 6 months and 1 yr to be safe. But I think i just need to know if I have contracted the virus or not. Its just killing me.

That totally sucks. For the record you are doing everything right - seeing a doctor and getting mental health help. I can understand the anxiety and concern you have right now. Although it will be difficult, you should not concentrate on symptoms as they are not an indication of HIV infection. There are plenty of things that can cause swollen lymph nodes. I know it will be hard to concentrate on that and I suggest that you work with your mental health professional to get guidance on this.

Given the circumstances of your situation and other rape cases we have seen, a 6 week test would give you some peace of mind but I'd do it at a STD clinic or sexual health clinic if you can. The reason I suggest this is that your mind is racing and I don't want you to wonder if you performed the test correctly.

I imagine what he injected into you was a lubricant of some sort and nothing more.

Come back to this board if you really need to but don't make it an addiction. It will only make you think of it more and that is not productive right now. However, if you are desperate then of course post your thoughts. For the record, a 3 month test will be conclusive. You can test to 6 months if you really want to but I wouldn't. A year is complete overkill....despite what some outdated websites and pamphlets would suggest.

We will all be here to monitor your story, so do let us know how you are.

Best,

R

« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 01:25:46 AM by HIVworker »

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NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Thanks for the kind words. Actually, I think in my mind Ive accepted the fact that I could have the virus. Its been 6 weeks and boards like this one and on thebody.com have helped me understand that the disease is manegable, so im not as scared as I used to be. Im glad im alive- I could have easily been killed. Ill let you know how the test goes. But ive gone ahead and ordered the homeacess test.

I went to a clinic and for some reason I just didnt feel 100% comfortable there. If the homeacess test comes back positive, ill go into the clinic to confirm. Then confirm again at 3 months with my regular healthcare provider.

also, im just wondering how you would come to this conclusion. I hope it wasnt blood or semen. But I know I got injected with something. "I imagine what he injected into you was a lubricant of some sort and nothing more."

I have to say you are taking the right steps with the mental health professional. I understand about the clinic...do what you are comfortable with.

Sounds like you have a plan...and you are right about HIV. I'm not sure I can comment on how manageable it is, but it is more so than 20 years ago.

R

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NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

also, im just wondering how you would come to this conclusion. I hope it wasnt blood or semen. But I know I got injected with something. "I imagine what he injected into you was a lubricant of some sort and nothing more."

It is commonly used in anal sex. If it were blood you would know....as it would have leaked out a little and you would notice it when you passed a stool. It depends on when he 'injected it'. If it were afterwards, I've got no idea what it was. Could have been water to wash away his DNA? If it were before, I'd put money on it being lubricant.

Logged

NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

If getting tested at 6 weeks is helpful to you then by all means do that. And if as we hope you test negative at 6 weeks, that will be very encouraging. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus.

Like R, I think you're taking the right steps to deal with an awful experience. Good luck and keep us posted.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sadly odds will mean nothing. There are too many variables and we tend not to go there. I'm sorry, I know you want that to hang on to...but its not helpful in the long run.

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NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

"The only very rare times I have known a negative to become a positive beyond ten weeks is when either intravenous drug use or treatment for cancer was involved. Otherwise a negative at 10 weeks in my experience remains a negative when re-tested. "

Im wondering why this would be. Im just curious to know the mechanics of this virus.

OK i took my 3 month test and it was negative. The counseler who gave me the results said, the window period is 6 months and I should get retested. I thought 3 months was definitive. Im confused now - I thought my worries would be over now, and she tells me I have to wait another 3 months?

Your Counselor is wrong, your 3 month negative result is conclusive you can move on now.

FYI..Only a small group of people seroconvert after the 13 week window period, this group includes those who are receiving immuno-suppressive therapy after transplant procedures, cancer patients who are receiving chemotherapy and long term injecting drug users because their immune system is serverly compromised.