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Ramiele Malubay's last week performance (You Don't Have to Say You Love Me) on AI was good enough for me and my mom but didn't really impress us much. We were like waiting for the moment when she'd really belt it out and let it go (thinking that she's a Filipino). Her singing was so restrained in our opinion, but it turned out that all the three judges liked it, Simon even saying that she outsung every person so far during the show and she was the 9th (or 10th) constestant of the evening. Way to go, Pinoy!

But her performance last night wasn't good at all. All three judges agreed it was the wrong choice of song, but Simon threw her a bone by saying she's among the top 3 contestants. It looks, though, that she spends more time doing hair and make-up than choosing her song.

I made another blog, this time with two of my closest "digital" friends as team mates. I foresee it to be as wacky as when the three of us have YM conferences, and entertaining as we put into words what's on our minds. Also expect nostalgia as we go back (I'm kinda sure this will happen) to our Ran Online days, a part of our lives that we kinda hate, but don't regret. After all, we wouldn't have met if not for that game.

At the start we think we have found a gem, a perfect specimen to take part in our dream romance - she's this and that, never does this nor that. And then we fall in love, thinking that this newfound gem is way better than our last. We dive into a new relationship that makes our world so colorful in the first few months or so, makes our eyes glow and our cheeks flushed, and makes us once again think about the possibility of forever. And then we get used to the things that she does, we get tired of tolerating her little faults, we even come to the point of being irritated to the childish little ways that got us so attracted during the getting-to-know stage. We start wanting more, wanting her to do this and that, we start wanting her to be more of what we first thought was her. And then our worlds crumble.And then we will promise ourselves not to fall in love again. We listen to Ne-Yo's So Sick, start calling our drinking buddies, start going out more often to the thought of (whether we admit it or not, and whether how much we convince ourselves not to fall in love again) meeting another person that will fit into our idea of a perfect mate.And then we meet yet another prospect, and we start all over again. A cycle, reminds me of the evaporation/precipitation thingie in science class.I like it, though, when none-romantic-writers write about relationships. They take it matter-of-factly. Let me quote Stephen King from the book (Dreamcatcher) that I am currently reading:"You grew up, became a man, had to adjust to taking less than you hoped for; you discovered the dream-machine had a big OUT OF ORDER sign on it....that and maybe a big old sloppy-lipstick blowjob from this drunk chick out in his car. Wanting more is just a recipe for heartache.

Atonement reminds me of so many things. It reminds me of my high school library and the librarian who wouldn't let me borrow historical romance paperbacks until I was in the third year; of the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery series (the old hard bound ones) which occupied my time while I was still not "legal" to read historical romances in school (my parents let me, though, so I have lots of them in my bedroom); of Joy Vivian who has the same passion for historical romances as i have and who raced with me in sweeping through all the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys books available at our library... It just feels good to be swept back in time.

I have such great(wild) imagination that I usually get lost in a book I am reading. As with historical romance books, they take me to places and time I won't be able to go to, to a time where (I think) it is good to be just an observer than be a part of. And I've been an observer of "the past" since I was thirteen.

Atonement isn't set to as far back a time as my most loved historical romances, but the air is there, the sexually charged atmosphere, the unfulfilled passion...Perhaps I should get a new Karen Robards this week.

Is Lozada in a normal state of mind? I don't know but everytime I see him in the news, I feel like singing Baliw by Kuh Ledesma. Why? Because he cries one moment (that funny contortion of his face which resembles crying) and be in a seemingly happy mood the next. It really doesn't look normal.

I'm not liking what's on television lately. Good thing The Oscars is coming soon. Speaking of which, I really love Atonement. Not just because I used to be in a gang in Ran Online with the same name, but because I love period movies, British accent, and stories with such depth. The book by Ian McEwan is way better than the movie, though. But for those who want to enjoy the movie, don't read the book (if you still haven't) before seeing it. You'll just get disappointed. The movie adaptation is quite... superficial. But I still love it, nonetheless.

Yesterday, I was watching this Lucy Torres/Wilma Doesnt talk show on cable when I noticed that the audience were all wearing red. I kinda made a face because I really don't like red. Not because I'm not so fond of Valentine's Day but because I just don't like red. Period. Even before I started to hate Valentine's Day.

At that moment I wondered if I owned anything that's in color red so I left the tv and looked among my things. And omg there's one.

My old abswing (my apologies for the photo quality... and the pillow in the background is not mine)

We sometimes experience mental blocks, especially during exams. Sometimes we use it as an excuse for not having studied the lessons well. I'm not in school anymore and I don't take exams anymore (except on some occasions), but I still experience mental blocks. And I call it the Blogger's Mental Block (BMB). Sounds like the defunct boyband BSB, but anyway I think other bloggers experience it, too. Well, I was kinda preoccupied the past 3 days but I don't want to use being busy as an excuse for not being able to blog. I know I can write even a short post in the midst of being busy if I really have a topic in mind. Perhaps a blackout would be an excuse, but not being busy.

Funny thing is, my favorite blogger also doesn't have an entry yesterday. I was kinda surprised because she writes religiously everyday. And then I thought perhaps she was also struck by BMB.

I don't know what's with tonight, but it seemed that most of my Ran Online buddies are on a texting mood. It feels so great to be reunited with the people who have become, in one way or another, part of your life. And then you realize that nothing really changed. You're still the same person, and your friends, still their old selves.

I don't usually read forwarded messages on my cellphone or email, however bored I am. It just so happened that I was texting with Vanessa when she sent this quote which I think she composed herself. I read it thinking it was her reply to my last message. And then I realized that what the quote was saying was so true, and it retained in my subconscious up to now. It says:Sometimes you ignore the truth...Sometimes you ignore the pain...Sometimes you ignore the consequences...Just for someone... (just assume there is a million blank lines before the next line of the quote... FYI in case you live in a country where text messaging isn't such a big hit, blank lines are usually included in forwarded messages for suspense or something to that effect, .)Who ignores you...

Have you ever wondered where the heart shape came from? It's so different from the shape of our own hearts and I'm sure our ancestors were not that ignorant about it. Before the invention of guns, they used to kill and slaughter in battles (bring me his head/heart!). So I'm sure they were aware of how the human heart looks like.

So what are the myths of the heart shape origin? Here are some:

1. the inverted shape of the naked female buttocks;

2. the shape formed when a naked woman folds her hands together in front of her - her breasts making the two rounded bumps on top, coming down to a V in her cleavage;3. cow's heart;

4. turtle's heart;

5. male's prostrate gland;

6. the double humps atop a stylized heart vaguely recall a human penis head's shape;7. seed of the silphium plant that was used as birth control;

8. female's pubic mound;

9. the silhouette of two people kissing.

The image below illustrates #9. Although the people kissing seemed to already have run out of breath.

I've been thinking about the possible things I can do when I'm already unattached. Not that I wish I am unattached, but because I can already smell the end of it.

And so, travelling is what comes to my mind. Not around the world, but I'm thinking of exploring the country. Like attending all the festivals there are. And I figured that if I do, I'd be busy all year through. It'll surely keep my mind off the heartache.

Been texting with Aryz. It's so good to talk to someone with the same point of view in life, in love, and in "relationships". It just so happened that our significant others are quite the same when it comes to giving time and attention to our respective relationships. And so we talk about the shortcomings of our partners, and concluded that we both want the same things from them.

It's not really demanding that they give us all their time, but demanding that they give us some.

There's nothing like watching a good romantic movie to spend a lazy weekend with. Night outs sometimes get tiring and watching a light romantic comedy is a very good alternative. I have two favorite actresses when it comes to this kind of film - Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Lopez. I can watch Ever After and Wedding Singer over and over without getting tired of it. Jennifer Lopez's Maid in Manhattan and Wedding Planner never fail to make me smile, too.

Other Drew Barrymore films that I like include Music and Lyrics, Fever Pitch (always on HBO, where I first saw it), 50 First Dates, Duplex, Riding in Cars with Boys and Never Been Kissed.

Welcome to the love month. How did February become the month of lovers? I guess Saint Valentine used to sell flowers and chocolates for a living, and to boost up his sales, he created a holiday - Valentine's Day.

But seriously, I hate the idea of making people feel bad just because they have no "special someone" on a February. It's cruel. And a "loveless" person can't help but feel bad because he's surrounded by lovestruck people, perpetually smiling images of lovers holding hands and/or kissing, cupids with their bows and arrows shooting would-be-lovers... It's everywhere - tv, magazines, internet, malls, in the streets where small time motels advertise their Valentine's Day promos... the world is bathed in screaming red (and pink). These things make the loveless feel more unloved.

Now I don't know which is harder, to be loveless on the Christmas season or to be loveless on a February. No wonder there are more depressed people from December to February than there are on any other month of the year.