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Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

I'm not in high school neither does he, he's 2 years younger than me though so when i was a senior in high school i'd see him at parties school trips etc. i always knew he was cute and i could see a gay vibe but he was too young for me and i wasn't interested in him. i'm 22 now he's 20. i run over him at the beach this summer. he was sitting with some friends close to my table so i suddenly remembered him again. the thing is he's so much hotter and cutter now! lol
i was surprised how much cutter he got and i was like ''why didn't i ever made a move?''. i tried to find him on facebook cause i knew we were friends there but then i realized he had deactivated his account. i was like ''shit! why now?'' the weird thing is that after a few weeks i got a friend request from him! i couldn't believe in my luck! even though i was searching for him, he found me himself! lol

being friends on fb is one thing but making a move and flirt with him was kinda dangerous cause we live in a small town we have many mutual friends and in case he'd talk about me flirting him everyone would know! and i'm in the closet! i started liking some of his photos and then poking him and the thing is he replied to all of that! he poked back he liked my pictures etc. it sounds so stupid flirting via facebook i feel like i'm 15 but everything worked so good till now. i got bored of liking and poking but i hessitated on sending him a message. the surprise is he messaged me! something really irrelevant like ''why aren't you out tonight?'' and we started a really nice conversation adding all those smilies which felt stupid for me cause i know it's cute but i'm not 15! lol he asked me to go see him where he works and we talked about the full moon...

i'm posting this just to express how lucky i feel for the first time in my life. i wish he won't talk about our flirt to his friends and i hope this whole thing ends up to something good. i could use some opinions guys

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

There is a price to be paid for being open and honest about who you are and that might included losing some people in your life.
There is a bigger price to be paid by remaining in the closet and that is that there is no room for love in there.

A major drawback to being in the closet is you are hiding who you are from the very people you need to get to know.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by chace1617

i could use some opinions guys.

Great to hear you have met him again and that you have such a nice contact with him.

(1): you are 22, you don't have a girlfriend (never had?) and you live in a small town with many mutual friends. Well, be aware that the door of your closet is not very closed anymore. Girls will wonder why you don't flirt with them, and why you don't react when they flirt with you. They will keep wondering (and again and again, and at least for the next 10 years), and (maybe?) some of them might have already found why this is the case.

(2): it seems to me, based on what you have told us, that he likes you very much. You told us: we started a really nice conversation adding all those smilies which felt stupid for me (...). he asked me to go see him where he works and we talked about the full moon...OK, so what's the reply? Go to his place and see how he is reacting during work / at the place where he is working. Hey man, he is inviting you to meet you in real life. Grab this opportunity. Start walking together with him during full moon.

(3): i have no idea if he is gay. Definitely, he is not a homophobe / bigot. So open yourself, and see how he is reacting. why do you want to stay in the closet? What's the problem?

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by Ganoderma

Great to hear you have met him again and that you have such a nice contact with him.

(1): you are 22, you don't have a girlfriend (never had?) and you live in a small town with many mutual friends. Well, be aware that the door of your closet is not very closed anymore. Girls will wonder why you don't flirt with them, and why you don't react when they flirt with you. They will keep wondering (and again and again, and at least for the next 10 years), and (maybe?) some of them might have already found why this is the case.

(3): i have no idea if he is gay. Definitely, he is not a homophobe / bigot. So open yourself, and see how he is reacting. why do you want to stay in the closet? What's the problem?

(1)Who says i never flirt with girls or dated any girls? lol of course i have!

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

It seems like it's about time for you to step up and do something.. Most of your interaction started thanks to him, so if you really want to keep this going, you have to start things up. It is only fair.. If not he'll probably get tired of being the one initiating contact and lose interest.
So yeah, I would say go for it.. Show him you appreciate his efforts and that you're interested in getting to know him. I bet everything will fall into place then.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Your profile clearly indicates that you like guys as well as girls, so please excuse me for my horrible mistake. I can only say that I was very tired when I made my posting.

Anyway, you know how to flirt with girls, and nice to hear you also date girls. But now its about flirting with a guy, and its about how to ask a guy for a date.

I tend to think you don't need to worry too much. Set some steps towards him and start meeting him in real life. And test the waters a bit by saying some nice words to him about anything of himself (his eyes, his hair, whatever, or his clothes). Some sort of compliment you also say to girls when you flirt lightly with them. What's the difference between going out with him, and have a date with him?

Or arrange a meeting in a park during an evening with full moon. Touch him (his chest, his back, etc.) and say that he is a nice guy.

So what's the problem when people over there will be aware that you like guys and girls? I still don't see the problem, and I also don't see what's wrong when you start dating a guy. Any reason why girls over there will never ever want to date with you again when they know that you are also dating guys? How many girls have you dated over there, and are the girls aware that you have experience with dating some (how many?) girls?

Good luck, and just set some steps. Walking along the street / at the beach with a boyfriend (and/or put such photo's on facebook) is an easy and a convenient way to open the door of your closet. No need to tell people, as all can see what's going on.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

UPDATE

we talked again. he sent me a message ''will you ever stop poking me?'' and i was like ''oh sorry, ok i'll never poke you again'' and his reply was ''no please keep doing it!'' it's clear he's flirting with me. i have a good feeling about him and i can see he's very positive with the whole situation. i feel very happy about it the only thing that worries me is that he used his friend's pc at his friend's house to talk with me and i have no idea if our conversation was privet or his friend was there reading all my replies. i really wanna keep flirting with him but by no means i want any other one to know but him. what if he's out to his friends and talks about me? i'm in a huge dilemma. in our recent conversation i was very neutral but nice at the same time cause i had no idea if our conversation was privet. i'm not ready to out myself i just don't feel like it. living in a small town and most people know me doesn't make it any easy at all, i have grandparents, siblings people i'm afraid to let down, and family is a big deal in my country. i'm trying to find a way to ask for his phone number cause he always uses someone's pc to use internet.

by the way thank you all for your great advice, especially ''Ganoderma''

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

I've written this before. When the loneliness of the closet is greater than the fear of being out, the closet door opens. It's fantasy to think you'll find the perfect closeted guy. The real solution is coming out.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

hi chase1617,

Thanks for the nice words and for the update. Somehow, I had the idea that you were living in the US. Do you mind to tell us in which country you are living?

I can imagine very well the fear you are feeling, but you should also face the reality. So you are right now flirting with a cute guy, more or less similar (I assume) as you would do this with a cute girl. Maybe such a girl will also tell her friends that you are flirting with her, that you are a nice guy, etc? Likely? Or not? Yes? Do you tell such a girl that she is not allowed to tell this kind of information to her friends?

Anyway, the news will go around, and you will already have set some -small- steps on the road of 'hiding/lying' about him (=the cute guy). Am i right? Are you avoiding to talk about him with other friends (similar like you would do about a very sweet girl you have recently met)?

There is only one way to stop walking along this horrible road. Meet him in real life and in a private situation (can be anywhere, but with no other people around) and be open about yourself. So he must be able to talk freely to you, and you to him. Or start talking about girls as a start. So he likes flirting with you, he likes to make jokes with you, he wants to meet you. Still does not mean that he is gay/bi. Be aware that there are many, many & even much more straight guys of his and of your age who are totally cool / relaxed etc. about guys who are bi/gay.

Good luck, and no problem to react when you want to ask more questions.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by Ganoderma

hi chase1617,

Thanks for the nice words and for the update. Somehow, I had the idea that you were living in the US. Do you mind to tell us in which country you are living?

I can imagine very well the fear you are feeling, but you should also face the reality. So you are right now flirting with a cute guy, more or less similar (I assume) as you would do this with a cute girl. Maybe such a girl will also tell her friends that you are flirting with her, that you are a nice guy, etc? Likely? Or not? Yes? Do you tell such a girl that she is not allowed to tell this kind of information to her friends?

Anyway, the news will go around, and you will already have set some -small- steps on the road of 'hiding/lying' about him (=the cute guy). Am i right? Are you avoiding to talk about him with other friends (similar like you would do about a very sweet girl you have recently met)?

There is only one way to stop walking along this horrible road. Meet him in real life and in a private situation (can be anywhere, but with no other people around) and be open about yourself. So he must be able to talk freely to you, and you to him. Or start talking about girls as a start. So he likes flirting with you, he likes to make jokes with you, he wants to meet you. Still does not mean that he is gay/bi. Be aware that there are many, many & even much more straight guys of his and of your age who are totally cool / relaxed etc. about guys who are bi/gay.

Good luck, and no problem to react when you want to ask more questions.

You thought i live in the US? that's so flattering thanks well it's my dream to live there but unfortunately i'm not. i live in South Europe. if the only way to date him is to out myself then i'm not sure i want to date him...

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

hi chase1617,

Thanks for your reply and I hope you are able to realize your dream to live in the US.

I have thought about your situation and I think there is an easy way to have more contact with him. Just treat him as one of your straight friends / former schoolmates (etc.) and don't think about the word 'dating' when you will meet him and/or when you do him a proposal for a meeting, or for doing something with each other, or for going to the beach together (or whatever). I mean, you will also do this kind of things with your straight friends (do you?), so why not with him. Just play some sort of 'dumb card'. Go out with him (and with his friends), why not?

Why would people around you think that you are bi, when you just have contact with one of your former schoolmates? Hey man, you live in 2012, and gay people are everywhere, and loads and loads of straight guys have gay friends. So what's the problem when it becomes clear that one of your friends happens to be a gay guy? Everyone around you knows that you like girls, that you flirt with girls, that you date with girls (etc.). So why should they think you also have feelings for guys?

And there is still the possibility that he is straight. And/or a straight guy who likes to behave in a way that you think he is flirting with you (whereas he does not see this behaviour as flirting).

So I would suggest that you meet him in real life, see how he is in real life, and just see how things are developing.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

UPDATE

so we kept chatting on facebook or by SMS and we flirted a bit. he stated working in a bookstore a few days ago and asked me if i'd pass by to say ''hi'' i was like ''maybe i will''
today i did go, i was really excited and scared about meeting him for the first time after we started texting each other. he was happy to see me, i bought some stuff and left. hope he didn't felt how scared i was and he didn't see my hands shaking! lol
he texted me a few minutes after i left the store ''you're a good client'' lol

i'm so happy now, a few days ago asked him if he'd like to go out with me for beers some day and he liked the idea. think i'm gonna ask him out this Saturday.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

UPDATE

so this wasn't just a new flirt in my life. we went out and talked and he proved to be a really nice guy, every time we hang out i discover how nice he is. We really get along together and definitely flirted but none of us had the balls to express how he feels.
we had this place in front of the beach where we would go at night to talk in my car, at first he tried to touch my hair and i rejected it, no idea why, i liked him but i was so stressed about this new thing happening to me that i had the wrong reactions sometimes. The truth is that he would make all the moves to show me he likes me i was too scared to do it, no idea why.

Tonight we went to the same place in front of the beach in my car and he kisses me! i was like ''finally!!!'' i was sooo happy it finally happened! we talked and kept making out and it was one of the happiest moments in my life. i am soo happy this is happening to me now, i feel so blessed after so many years of waiting for the ''perfect'' one i finally found him. i can't even describe my feelings now. i get horny every time i remember him kissing me... ca't wait to see him tomorrow... the sad part is that he's leaving on Saturday for studies and he's gonna be back after a month...

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by Seasoned

I've written this before. When the loneliness of the closet is greater than the fear of being out, the closet door opens. It's fantasy to think you'll find the perfect closeted guy. The real solution is coming out.

That might be true for someone that is Gay and in the Closet. Bisexual Men & Women do not consider ourselves as closeted. A lot of us date who we wanna date and we disclose our Bisexuality to whoever we want to.

Closeted Gays fear a lot of things. Bisexuals laugh at fear, have fun and we make our own rules...

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by MisterMajestic

That might be true for someone that is Gay and in the Closet. Bisexual Men & Women do not consider ourselves as closeted. A lot of us date who we wanna date and we disclose our Bisexuality to whoever we want to.

Closeted Gays fear a lot of things. Bisexuals laugh at fear, have fun and we make our own rules...

Remember the OP's profile says he is Bi...

exactly! you're in my mind!

btw my boyfriend is bi too. plus he had more female partners than me even though he's 19 lol
wish i could post a picture to show you how cute he is, but i won't

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

UPDATE

for a week almost every night we would meet in my car in front of the beach cuddling, making out and talking. best most romantic moments of my life ever. it's amazing how much we communicate and totally understand each other, i love it how open we are to each other and can talk about everything. so the other night i started a conversation about him leaving in a few days for studies, and by the way he lives really far away. he usually returns at Christmas or summer or a few weekends in the year. We both agreed that we would definitely be in a relationship if we were living in the same town but also agreed that we don't want to be in a long distance relationship as it would be really hard and finally won't last... so i asked him what are we doing here? are we a couple? are we a one night stand? are we friends? we both agreed that we have feelings for each other and we don't wanna be a ''one night stand'' we respect each other too much to be a one night stand. we never finished that discussion for a reason.. the other night he asked me if we could go to my house so we could make out and cuddle comfortably and not being afraid of someone seeing us in my car. we did go and one thing led to another and we had sex and then took a shower together and all of it was so romantic and feeling so right and perfect.

yesterday i took him to the city cause he had to take the bus and leave for the city where he studies. we did go for some coffee with friends and had an amazing time together. i was feeling depressed he was leaving but i was pretending i was fine. the behavior between two of us is like a couple's but we have both agreed we don't want to be in a long distance relationship and end up being in a relationship with a phone...he said he wants to see me when he returns in 2 weeks just for 5 days. i want to see him too. he mentioned that we never finished that discussion. i said i know we have to do it some time.

i feel kinda sad now he left i miss him very much... it's sad that the one person i found the first time in my life that loves me and love him back can't be in a relationship with me because of the distance, and he is right and i respect that, distance will separate us some day...

i want to see him net time he's here but if we have sex again doesn't that make us a one night stand? i'm really confused...

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

Originally Posted by chace1617

i feel kinda sad now he left i miss him very much... it's sad that the one person i found the first time in my life that loves me and love him back can't be in a relationship with me because of the distance, and he is right and i respect that, distance will separate us some day...

i want to see him net time he's here but if we have sex again doesn't that make us a one night stand? i'm really confused...

I feel what you're going through, I found the guy few months ago but it'll not work out because he'll be away. Don't stress out the one night stand issue too much, if you're making love, that's just not sex, it's a celebration of love.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

UPDATE

he was back in town a few weeks ago for 4 days. i was so excited to see him and i started preparing for a perfect night in my apartment. i cleaned, bought flowers, bought some ingredients so i could cook a Chinese meal for him, bought some candles and shaved my ass. i was a virgin no one ever penetrated me before just because i was waiting for ''the one''. i was sure he was the one cause sex without penetration with him felt for the first time in my life so perfect so right, i felt so secure with him. so i was ready to let him penetrate me as soon as he was back in town. the apartment was ready, the day he'd arrive finally came and i was the happiest person on earth. in the evening he messaged ''maybe we shouldn't meet tonight i'm really tired with all this travelling etc i'm sorry'' this message disappointed me i felt so sad. forget the whole preparation for the perfect night thing i was sad cause i felt he wasn't that excited to see me.i understand that he could be tired but we could meet for like 10 minutes at least so i could see him, give him a kiss... i replied ''no problem i understand''

the other day i was kinda sad so never texted him, he texted me in the evening ''are u alive? did u forget me?'' i went to the bookstore he works to see him. unfortunately there were clients so we had to pretend we don't know each other, as soon as they left he took me back and we started making out. can't express how happy i felt. he asked me to go pick him up at night when he finishes work. i did and we did go back to my apartment. thank god we were alone after so long i've been waiting for that. i cooked, he didn't like it lol. so we kept making out and started having sex. i took a condom and gave it to him he was surprised. he had asked me in the past to fuck me but i wasn't ready. after a few tries he managed to put it in. it hurt like hell and i kept it in me for like 2 minutes and then asked him to stop. we both finished on me after a while. he totally respected me and i was kinda sad i couldn't do it but god it hurts so much! i was willing to try it again though. so we went and took a shower together. we kept making out in the shower and both of us were horny. he sucked me and then tried to lick my butthole. i was shocked cause never done it before and i find it kinda disgusting. i told him and he got sad. i said you have to brush your teeth before i kiss you again. he was really insulted. i was like i'm sorry but i told you i don't like it, why did you do it? he wasn't talking. i was sad i made him feel bad but he has to respect what i like and what i don't. later i took him home we didn't talk at all. i returned home really disappointed and my butthole kinda burned and it felt uncomfortable. i couldn't sleep at night so i texted him i was sorry and didn't meant to insult him or anything i just don't like it i like him... he didn't reply. didn't sleep all night. in the morning he texted ''oh i fell asleep just saw your messaged, it's ok don't worry''

the other day i did go back to the bookstore again we made out and he told me he was ill so we couldn't meet at night. i said it's fine if you're ill maybe you should go home and rest. in fact i was really pissed. i meant he was like for 4 days in town and we did actually meet 1 night? wtf? how can you say you're interested in me when the're is always an excuse so you won't see me? first day tired, now ill? i was really pissed that day. at night i sent him an angry message can't even remember what i said he said something we fought and that's it. i didn't want to talk anymore. i could feel he didn't want me that much in the end. i mean when you say you really want someone you do anything you can to be with him. i understand he was ill but he could just come over and hang out with me... i was so sad the next day. i was sad because i did love this guy and i wanted things to be perfect for us and i hated it when we fought but some things really annoyed me... the next night i texted i was sorry and i want things to be perfect for us and i feel that he doesn't like me that much.told him he has to be honest with me and i respect any decision he'd take. he said i was stupid and he really likes me and i should stop think like that...

the last morning he was in town i visited him at the bookstore to say goodbye. i bought him some breakfast and he was happy to see me. we made out very romantically, i was so emotional the moment we had to say goodbye and while leaving i said ''don't forget me'' he said ''you can't be forgeted'' lol

the night we met after sex we talked. decided we can't be in a relationship because of the distance and that can't change. i told him maybe we shouldn't talk every day cause if we talk to often i miss him more...

it was like 2 days he had left and no calls or texts from him at all. i started thinking again ''he doesn't miss me. he didn't really want me etc'' i called he was surprised to her me he said ''i thought you'd never call again'' i was like ''why not?'' from that day on we would talk almost every day or every second day.

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

THE BIG FIGHT

a couple of weeks passed and we'd talk almost every day until i realized his name day was in a few days. i decided to secretly find his address and send him a gift so i could surprise him. i did find it from a mutual friend and i burned a cd with all the romantic and erotic songs i knew. plus i bought some heart shaped chocolates in a beautiful red box. had it all ready and was about to send it on Tuesday so it would arrive on Thursday on his nameday.
On Monday a guy we met a couple of times in summer and i blowed him texted. he wanted to meet me. we had nothing romantic with him at all. just a blowjob and ''bye''. but now since ''the perfect guy was in my life'' i only wanted to have sex with him and i couldn't think of anyone else. i mean i know we didn't have a relationship but still my heart was beating for him. i thought it was a good idea to call him and tell me what he thinks about it. i didn't ask for a permeation to blow another guy, i didn't want to anyway, i wanted to know what he thinks... this phone call made me tha saddest person ever, his actual words were ''you can do whatever you want i don't care, we are not friends we are not a couple we're nothing i can't tell you what to do'' !!!
i felt devastated after that. ''we're nothing?!!!'' he doesn't care? WTF? was i something when he fucked me? i was sooo angry at him! the ''we're nothing'' almost killed me. i then decided i didn't want to keep talking with a guy who thinks we're nothing, for me he was something...
the thing is that after what he said i was so pissed and hated him so much that i called the other guy, my sex friend and told him we could meet. i sucked him. didn't like it, really regretted it and i just did it cause i wanted to forget him...
on Tuesday i did go and send his nameday gift though. i wanted him to know that on my side i had feelings and cared about him even though i was nothing for him... on the same day and the next day he'd send messages and call but wouldn't reply. i was really pissed at him and i felt that keep talking with him isn't good for me. he makes me happy the other day and sad the other day... he insisted on calling and it was so hard for me not to answer. cause even though his words hurt me i still had feelings for him..

on his nameday he called me and said ''won't you wish me a happy nameday?'' i was like wtf? he was so good with talking and he'd calm down after a few minutes of talking with him. we talked and he explained he didn't mean ''i was nothing for him'' i misunderstood and he didn't express what he thought with the right words... i forgave him. he really liked my gift he thanked me and he posted on facebook ''it's a perfect gift thank you'' just for me... i was so flattered...

then i told him that i did suck another guy just cause i thought i was nothing for him and that i really regret it and he didn't talk for a minute but after a while he said ''we're fine i'll just forget it''

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

time went by pretty well we used to talk almost every day until we fought again and it was my fault this time. i had no intention to, but i managed to pressure him on being in a relationship with me. it was pretty clear that he didn't want a long distance relationship but i could feel that he wasn't just that into me anymore and i was feeling insecure so i sent him an angry sms asking him to be in a relationship with me. i regretted it a few hours later but he called yelled at me really angry that i was pressured him etc... i was so sad again and we didn't talk for almost a week. until i called him ''we need to talk'' i wanted to apologize for being so selfish and treating bad a nice person like him... his answer was ''yeah we need to talk...i have a boyfriend''... the longest pause in the history of phone calls followed...

Re: Cute Guy from high school, new flirt in my life?

i did not update for so long cause i didn't have the courage to talk about it. for about two months i am very depressed. i feel ready to update now. i really need your opinion here. this thing wasn't gonna work and i knew it from the start. he had made it clear that he can't be in a long distance relationship. i think this is bullship, if you really want someone you can do anything to be with him. i understand that he was just not that into me. i can't understand why he was trying to convince me that he loved me and he wanted to talk to me everyday and i was important to him. he did some things that humiliated me but i'd always forgive him cause i was in love. i had made it clear that he can always be honest with me, that he has to feel able to tell me anything, i told him he could go on with his life, date other guys, just let me know, i wanted to avoid him calling one day and say ''i'm in a relationship''. this is what he did. a few days before he called to say that it was his nameday. i secretly found his address so i could send him a present. i did. it was something small and sweet and he loved it, he was very happy about it. i know he wasn't my boyfriend but i really loved this guy and i was in love with him and i wanted to show him how important he was for me. a few weeks after he dumped me for someone else he called me and tried to make things better cause he said he didn't want me to have bad feelings for him and still cared for me. by mistake he revealed that on his nameday he was expecting a message on facebook from the other guy. this means that he did everything behind my back. that time i did understand he was tired of me and the distance and i told him i knew, he was trying to convince me i was crazy, yet he was dating the other guy. what he did is that he dated the other guy behind my back and then when he was sure about him just dumped me without saying anything. actually i learned about the other guy on facebook. he had told me nothing but he uploaded pictures with him and some weird statuses and i was schocked seeing that but i did not say anything cause i thought everything was on my mind. after a couple of days of me wondering whats going on i called him and he said ''yes i'm in a relationship i didn't have the time to tell you''...
who does that? why did i deserve this kind of behaviour? he showed me a total different personality when he was here and i was so happy for knowing him, he seemed so caring and honest and with feelings just the perfect guy and in the end he treated me like i was his whore. i gave him everything cause i was crazy in love. i even gave him my virginity, i had never tried anal sex with anyone but him... i did anything i could to show him how much i loved him and how impirtant he was for me... how can the same person give you the happiest and the saddest moments of your life? i fell in a depression after he said ''im in a relationship'' i did cry every day, i have never cried for anyone... i would wake up at night and cry, plus i had to pretend everything was fine in front of my family so i always had to have a fake smile and act normally to everyone but inside me i was dying. i had to be perfect at work too but sometimes and just stay in the bathroom crying and then get out and go back to work like nothing happened... it kills me thinking about him with the other guy, my heart hurts, it makes me wanna throw up... i feel very humiliated he did not respect me or my feelings at all. we spent so many good times together, we had sex, we laughed together, we had a bath together, he wahed my hair i washed his... there was love... where did all these things go? he just deleted them? i removed him from my friends on facebook cause it was very hard for me seeing pictures of him and his boyfriend all the time... him living happily his life with someone else and me crying my eyes out... he sent me a message asking why i deleted him... he wasn't even able to think why i did!!! i regret for being so kind to him in all my answers.. i told him i just cant do this, i cant see you together it kills me im sorry... a few days later he sent another message ''i am deeply sorry for doing this to you, you know how much i like you, you're amazing, you know there was a sparkle between us i had no intention to do something with the other guy but there was a sparkle with him too... i feel very bad for treating you like that if i could change anything id do it im sorry wish you could give me another chance you know i love you but i am not in love with you'' i never replied to that... how can you say you're sorry and still be in a relationship with him? what kind of chance do you want me to give you??? so many questions in my mind... so fruhstrated... the stupid thing is i still love him and i am in love with him and i miss him very much and i can't do anything about it... for two months i was just a robot.. i did everything mechanicaly and every day was dark for me.. i lost weight cause i couldn't eat...and he was jus tliving his life with someone else... my brain can't handle this, i still can't believe this guy treated me like this. i was always very careful with people this is why i never did something with someone until i met him and i trusted everything on him... christmas was sad for me, i didn't want to do anything but stay in my bed and sleep. i'm so stupid for still loving him he doesn't deserve it... i can't stop it though... i guess i just have to learn to live with it... i know it only needs time for me to feel better but i don;t see this happening soon... i just miss him...