Friday, December 29, 2006

"Dad, My Socks are Boring!"

The other day, the Helper walked into the living room and the following conversation took place:

The Helper: “My socks are boring!”

Me: “What?”

The Helper: “My socks are BORING! I need my Christmas ones.”

Me: “Okay, give me a minute and I’ll be right there.”

For those of you who do this for a living you understand that being bored, never, ever happens. I am never bored nor have I ever uttered that word. I can say the same for the Mommy as well. Also, I’m positive; Mickey, Bob the Builder and Handy Manny have never said something was “boring.” Okay, now I’m intrigued, I have to get to the bottom of this. I go into his room, but can’t find the aforementioned “Christmas socks,” which were a Christmas gift -- obviously. Mommy must have put them away – in plain sight -- so I can’t find them. I explain he’ll have to wait until Mommy gets home.

The Helper: “But Dad, my socks are boring!”

Me: “Buddy, why are they boring?”

The Helper: (Lifting a foot in the air) “See!”

Me: (Realizing that’s all I’m getting, I respond) “Mommy will fix it when she gets home honey, Okay?”

The Helper: “Okay.”

The Mommy came home and I explained today’s crisis. She went into his room and said, “They’re right here.” The Helper put on his Christmas socks and all was right with the world. Mommy = Hero, Daddy = Incompetent Fashion Guru. Moments later the Helper returns to the living room and is wearing the “boring” socks over the new Christmas ones.

The Mommy: “Honey, why do you have those socks on over your new ones?”

The Helper: (No response – He exits stage right!)

I guess he didn’t want to get the new ones dirty. Who’s he kidding – dirt on MY floors?!? I don’t think so! So now, not only do I have to make sure he’s clean, fed, entertained, educated, and exercised, I have to make sure the daily apparel choices aren’t “boring.” White socks (or gray), jeans (or sweatpants), and a solid color T-Shirt (with some sport or truck design) is the official little boy uniform. I think he needs to read the manual again! As always, thanks for reading!