The Montague St Bridge Has Risen From The Dead To Chew On A Glass Truck

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They say complacency is the enemy of success, but as far as South Melbourne is concerned it’s more likely that complacency is the enemy of not getting mangled by a horrible bridge monster.

The loathsome, horrific Montague St Bridge – long thought slain or, at the very least, banished – has yet again awoken and shown signs of life earlier today, this time luring an unsuspecting glass truck into its hellish clutches.

The truck encountered the maw of the beast just prior to midday today, managing to save its body but losing its payload of tasty, delicious glass to the rumbling tum of the underpass.

Remarkably, this is the first recorded incident involving the metallic monster since February, marking a four-month period of uneasy calm in the area as residents quietly gained passage through the bridge’s heaving mouth as it lay sullen and dormant.

The shrill call of the bridge satiating its truck lust has only been heard three times since the start of June last year, when a wave of sustained violent rage was quashed by mighty VicRoads heroes who finally tamed the bridge’s ferocity by installing more visible safety gantries on either side of it.

What’s curious is the nature of the feeding: No actual truck, but pure glass instead. Has the palate of the bridge refined? Is it lustfully famished no longer for trucken flesh, but for the payloads they carry? Is this the beginning of a vile new wave of terror, the likes of which we could never have seen coming?