September 28

I feel as I grow older, I feel more confused with each passing age. Yeah sure, I gain more
knowledge as well, but with each fact and knowing more, comes more confusion. Now I don't claim to
know a lot, esp about the academic aspect of life, but life in itself, in a nutshell is straight
confusion. I usually don't have many sleepless nights, and with having to wake up at 6am, I don't
get much sleep anyways, but I had a horrible sleep and woke up around 4:30, and just felt so
disoriented, all I knew was, I asked what I was doing, and was it 6am yet? The what was I doing
was more significant, kind of like a what am I doing in life question, but as always, that answer
is stopped by a more frequent question of reality, what time is it? And am I ready for another
workout?

I guess the only way to describe everything is...complications, and how things usually gets
complicated, and nothing is what it seems. I like living in a multitude of different worlds,
seeing, viewing and knowing things of different nature and bubbles. The only way I can grasp this
world is through understanding, so all I can do is learn and understand as much as I can. Even if
someone's world is up the a$$ bizzare, it always intrigues me, for whatever reason, I'm always
curious of such strange behavior and I'm drawn to it, I may know it's not good for me, but I may
still want to known at least what it is, from their world, straight from their mouth. Is knowledge
evil even if you don't act upon these shady ways that you have witness? Life is a series of tests
and temptations yerh? Best be prepared to answer whatever comes your way, because when u waiver,
it's over.

And I keep wondering, how many people are truly happy... A lot of seemingly most happy people
are the saddest bunch inside, they put up a front, because they have to, it's what cause them
to strive so hard and to believe what they are working for is worth it. But deep down, they are
the saddest motherfxxxers really. Meaning they have gone through the most to cry about.
I guess it's almost seeing the total mileage of the car they've driven, I like these people
because when you're with them, you want to live as they do, for the idealistic bubbles that will
eventually burst, even if it does burst, it's worth it yeah?

A moment of bliss will stay forever with you, even if it's only a few mins worth, I wonder if it's
enough to last forever? What you have is a love that will last a lifetime of learning for others
to live and comprehend.

Enough with the heavy stuff in life, so what else have I been doing?
Still up to the 6am workouts! Upon arriving the gym with V, I will do about 10 mins of stretching
followed by 20 mins of cardio, then I'll do 4 sets of benches, then 3-4 sets of crunches (abs),
then I'll do 6 sets of lower back exercises, then I'll do a routine which strengthen my waist,
I've never seen anyone else at the gym do this exercise I do, it helps with baseball, and it's
essentially a swing in itself, but I just put weights of 60 lbs at the end, and pulll the end with
a rope handle, I then mimic the baseball swing and it's follow through. I then do one handed back
handed, on both left and right hand! 3 sets of each, that totals to 9 sets for the baseball
training. I'm seeing results on the basketball court with the lower back exercises, but still
unsure about the baseball routine, but I will continue on. Setting these goals to better my
baseball and basketball performance has made the workouts easier, as I know this is a means to an
end, and not just lifting for the sake of it. It's more fun this way!

What else have I been up to? Photography-wise I much like the new 40D, but I still need lots of
time to learn all the cool new features! I'm currently working and trying out different airbrushing
techniques used in portrait images, kind of a way to clean up facial features of a model. Still
need to perfect it so I don't overdo the airbrush effects. But I have to say, it's heavy post-
processing in photoshop for sure! No other events coming up in the near future, hrmz, maybe I
should get in contact with Groove Ent and see if they need a photographer.