Ranting for a Change

It’s really easy to lose yourself in a man. I’ve been there… twice… and the second time I’m still trying my hardest to get out of it.

I chalk that all up to the fact that before I started this blog I had little to none self-esteem. I didn’t think I was worthy of any type of love for a man.

You see, the first guy I “talked to,” was gentle and nice enough–in the beginning. Because I never had someone take such a serious interest in me before, I lost myself in him. He became my whole world. And when he didn’t want me anymore, I felt like a piece of me went with him. It took me 2.5 years to understand that I wasn’t mourning my lost of him, but the lose of myself.

The second guy came after that realization, but just because I realized what I was mourning, doesn’t mean I understood it. Because of my past heartbreak, I felt that this person was the very last one, the very last instance that I can be with someone… I lost myself again. And when he didn’t want me anymore, I almost died.

I’m telling you this hoping that no one will make the same mistakes I did.

If I had a bigger self-esteem, would I have let myself be totally engulf in these guys? Would I have held onto them like I was holding onto dear life?

Probably not.

We as women must understand that we don’t need a relationship in our lives to be well-rounded and happy. Hopefully one day we will realize that our emotions and heart are more valuable than diamonds or gold.

Hopefully one day we can wake up with all the person we need–ourselves.