"And everybody frolics together in a magical meadow with rainbows and
unicorns?"
"And robo-unicorns?"

"Some of the secrets we possess could summon powers that could cause massive
destruction."
"Sign me up!"

[lisping] "Super! Time to die!"

"How did your session with Justice go?"
"I learned some things I didn't know before."
"She has a tattoo."
"Most of it is inside her."

"See, this way the first time we walk into one of the Supernal Realms,
there won't be a truck with a gigantic club waiting there to kill us all."

"You guys are all like, 'Free Council ftw!' and I'm like, 'paperwork wtf?'"

"Oh, grandma! I mean..."

"You know whose car you're driving? Grandpa's car."

"Okay, poison gas contingent..."

"The guy didn't seem to care that much, but he told us that the Oxen Clan
was gonna kill us anyway."

"And what Path do you follow?"
"Um, we're undeclared Paths. The Watchtower of the Fifth-Year Freshman."
"The ruling Arcana of that Realm are Booze and Laziness."
"What's the inferior Arcanum?"
"Mind."

[Ashe tells us what he's good for:]
"Um...I have some money and I'm really good at lying?"

"What's the penalty for not being able to get down?"
"That's better than not being able to get it up."

"Ashe Nastyghost, please."

"Oh, did we Grandpa?"

"Well, you went to business school, so of course they had a major in whoring."

"Yes! I don't have to go to school today! I think I'll go to school."

"Wait, her name is Mouth? She's a chick and her name is Mouth?"
"As in the mouth of a river."
"Like that's what I'm going to think when a woman comes up to me and says,
'Hi, my name's Mouth.'"
"And then takes off her clothes."

"After Mouth comes Magnum..."

"Mouth is very fond of Hancock."

"Okay, you spend the night trying to get rabbits to stop humping your
leg."

"I guess that's not too unusual."
"For a truck to have a battle-axe?"

"Specifically, the law firm's name is Jameson, Guinness, Bailey, and Harp."

"They'd rather have the Free Council in charge because then they can have
more meetings."
"...Long live our corrupt dictatorship!"

"We built this city to draw mana."
[sings quietly] "We built this city on rock 'n' roll..."

"Arrogance is for winners!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to kick over your sand castle now."

"...And then the frog will kill us all and light our house on fire."

"Phenomenal cosmic power..."
"...Faaaaaaabulous living space!"

"What he's trying to say is you're about to get sent to gay deprogramming
camp."

[about dedicating ritual tools] "What if you just got a ring that came
out of a gumball machine?"
"Let me just get my 25-cent ritual tool..."

"For fall, skirt lengths are shorter and hot wax is in!"

"...A crotchless pink ascot."

"I couldn't help but notice that your ascot has no crotch."

"Dude, I just got boned up the ass by my chair."

"It's like Musical Chairs with buggery."
"Or homosexual chair roulette. [sings] One of these chairs is not like
the others..."

"...And they said it just like that, and then they did some interior decorating."

"There's a guy who is..."
"Dead?"

"For all I know, I would be diarrhea-ing all over the backseat."

"That's what I thought when I heard 'gig'. I figured, yeah, Cello's gone
to kill someone."

"I am servicing the frog."

"No, seriously, I think that he actually needs to go to hell."

"Well, I don't have any grand desire to go to hell..."

"Tell me there's a gazebra in one of these cages."

"Life is for licking."

"Now I have to make a character named Dick Gobbler."

"Hey, my dick isn't a funeral, it's a party."

"Speaking of little people and sex..."

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal financial advisor?"

"I'm looking around for my Elvis impersonator suit."
"It's right next to your Bigfoot suit. The crotchless one."

"Goddammit, Ashe, it looks like a Hot Topic exploded on this guy's house."
"...I like Hot Topic."

"Now I am a poser with magic. And a gun."

"Sarcophagus, coffin, or rack?"
"Well, I've always liked a nice rack, so I'll take that one."

"You're about to find the most diabolical washer/dryer combo that man
has ever seen."
"His dryer has fangs."

[Needs context, but whatever:]
"What is that song? It's just the song that everyone who plays a
pipe organ plays."
"It's the Toccata & Fugue in D Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach."

"There's a package on your doorstep..."
"Do not open until Christmas."
"Signed, Ezekiel Sardis."

"Can we get a summary of the last session?"
"Well, you guys were railroaded - I mean, you hijacked the plot..."

"Who you gonna call?"
"Fuck you!"

"In Soviet Russia, darkness attacks you!"

"Wow, my mentor's pre-digesting my food."

"I better not talk right now, I'm trying to cast a spell and drive."

"Which of these frogs looks the sexiest to you?"

"How do you know if your spirit frog is homosexual? Maybe the Internet
can tell us."

"Well, hey, let's go back and get some frogs that aren't dudes."

"See Spot run. See Spot breach the Gauntlet. Die, Spot, die."

"We don't know a damn thing about the guy. We just looked up 'Dick Gobbler'
on the Internet."

"I think there's a lesson in this, and it's definitely not 'With great
power comes great responsibility.'"

"Don't ever try to outrun the afterburner hellhounds."

"He said something about watering the earth when within in are planted
the seeds of destruction."
"What the hell does that mean? It sounds like a Metallica song."

"I've already installed my personal god in your basement."

"P.S. I'll find my voice."

"First Violin in the closet with the candlestick."

"I'm not pimping a frog. Honest. And I'm not buying slaves either."

"We've got a plot coming up that requires your family to be Republicans."
"What, they're going to start a war and then lie about it?"
"No, I'm going to get an abortion."

"He's going to grow you a mangina so you can have assbabies."

"Faith's homebase is the crisis center."
"The crisis pregnancy center?"

"My first action is to dodge elephants. My second action is to fight fires."

"I don't think there's a shield against 'I jumped in front of a falling
elephant.'"

"DONKEY TRAIN! It makes perfect sense."

The Characters and Players (Cabal name Buffalo's Unfortunate, order Guardians
of the Veil):Bill Blair (Mulder), a tabloid reporter. His Path is called Chronagos
and focuses on Life and Time. Played by Eric O.Justin DeFazio (Ptoncia), a mechanic and occasional petty criminal. His
Path is called Stramna and focuses on Fate and Matter. Played by Beth. Samson Jacobson, Jr. (Ashe Kyram), an angry goth high school student.
His Path is called Styrsoros and focuses on Space and Spirit. Played by Noel.
ST: Eric Z.