That's what Caylee — who would be 5 if her scum mom hadn't suffocated her in 2008 — is.

That's what her madmom should be.

Except in our fantasy court system, she isn't. She's out of jail this week.

The brain-dead ruling is so depressing, you wonder why we even have the Sixth Commandment.

Or why madmom had the baby at all. Kill her before the birth, call it abortion and enjoy the Florida sun.

Regardless, madmom is getting away with the murder of the century.

As for Baez and his Team Lie, I have a terrific surrogate mother for your kids: Casey The Bat.

Tell it like it is. Let's quit this pretense of choice vs. life. It's pro abortion vs. anti-abortion. Period.

Can't we face the literal? Evidently no, if you listen to people debate this issue.

Another tiresome matter. If lez is so hot to call a partner a wife, do it. Quit waiting for mommy government to stamp its approval.

Marriage shouldn't rely on some bureaucrat's OK. If a dude wants to make another hairy bear his lifelong link, call him husband and leave me alone.

A bummer. Wake up, Republicans. Avoid meeting with the red house. All it can lead to are jacked taxes and spending. Want to bludgeon this budget? Refuse a ceiling hike. So when obummer calls, don't answer.

Obomber. My new name for the generals' boss. Amazing how he's qilling qaida with a fury. Kudos to the Nobel War Prize champ.

Who's the dope? Anyone who buys into this medical marijuana line. Medical my ass. Both are full of crap. Tokers are so obsessed with legalizing dope, they'll blow however much smoke it takes to brainwash us. "Marijuana turns you off? How about the medical variety?"

Let's see through the fog. Smoke a joint to make you feel good. Smoke a joint to make you well. If you can cut the difference, you're my PR man.

I'm all for legalizing drugs. Let's just take a deep breath and exhale the truth.

On a light conclusion.Suits. The best show on TV. Stars Gabriel Macht and Patrick Adams playing lawyers you cheer. What a concept.