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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The crazy stuff you see as a Volunteer EMT

Names may have been changed (omitted), as needed, to protect the identities of the (not so) innocent.

I worked as a volunteer EMT after passing my college class. It was a blast and I enjoyed helping people and ran across some pretty stupid/funny stuff.

I worked on a crisis unit that specialized in situations where additional help was needed. Our unit tends to be very busy and covers a large area. Some days we will leave in the morning to get my partner some coffee at Starbucks and end up with back to back calls until late in the evening.

Here is an example of some of the things I came across.

One day a guy decided to change the fuel filter on his car. He pulls his car into his garage and starts to change it out. Never mind that there is a water-heater sitting right next to him. BOOM!!!!!

Gang banger is sitting in his car and decided to put his gun that he was flashing around back into the belt of his pants. Bang, precious Jewel is blown off.

Watching a little, tiny 90 yr. old woman argue with a very large Captain as to why she can't call 911 whenever she needs a ride to the Dr.'s office.

Best one to date......

One afternoon my partner and I were trying to decide where to get something to eat because we were across town from our station and couldn't make it back in time for dinner. Just as we decided where to go we get a call to go to a sister station. We looked at the radio puzzled as to why we were needed at a station. We got there and the Captain was just sitting there grinning like a Cheshire cat. I knew right away something funky was going on. He proceeded to tell us that there is a "transient" in the back parking lot that we need to take care of.

Well it was obvious right away that A. they were shuffling their problem off to us, B. Wanted to see what we would do with him, and C. looking forward to the entertainment of watching us deal with him.

We were talking with "transient" and it was obvious right away that he didn't have just a few marbles missing but a TON OF MARBLES MISSING! We ended up calling mental health services to come get him and had to wait and keep him occupied until they got there. Once they got there "transient" got all riled up and all of us were doing some fast-talking to keep the situation under control.

During this time the Captain and his crew were sitting in their patio chairs smoking their after-dinner cigars and having a ball watching us. Suddenly they got a call and left the station. We were standing in the parking lot in the back of the station for an hour trying to get the "transient" to agree to go with the mental health service people.

As they were talking with "transient" I heard the engine roll back into the station. Next thing I know I heard a big crash. My partner and I looked behind us and saw their engine had neglected to wait for the garage door to open completely and crashed into it with the AC on top of the engine. The entire crew scrambled out and looked at their engine with a very smashed garage door sitting on top of it. My partner and I just looked at each other and turned around quickly and pretended that we didn't see what was going on behind us.

Now I am standing there looking up, down, around, pinching my finger, thinking of math, anything to keep from laughing. The mental health people looked at us and both of us are just looking back like, "What? What are you looking at?" Trying to pretend like there is no commotion going on behind us.

After the call was done we got back into our truck and started busting up laughing until there was tears rolling down our faces. PAYBACK TIME!!!!!!! We got the last laugh on that one!