2013-02-22

Summary: Set during the reign of "Bloody Mary" Tudor. Bella is captured by Edward
to raise his daughter. He promises to release her one day, but will he?
Court intrigues and danger around every corner. Can they, and their
new-found love, survive? Rated M/OOC/AU. Complete.

2013-02-14

Primary prompt: Free pass: write about something involving second (2nd) or two (2) of something

Secondary prompt: Write in 2nd person

Categories: Romance / Family - All Human

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The Second Line

by Raum

You're supposed to wait for five minutes, but you cheat. A crease forms between your eyebrows as you take a peek at the tiny object in your hands.

I keep my distance, not wanting to make you feel under pressure, but I'd like to smooth that crease with a soft caress. I wish I could brush away the worry that’s seeping into your irises.

One minute has already gone by, and you look up at me.

I guess the tentative smile on your face mirrors my own.

You leave the thin bar on the counter and close the distance between us.

I don't dare to speak, suspended between the last moments of hope and the fear that, in a matter of seconds, disappointment will crash down on us again, like a chilling wave that the warmth of our embraces can't keep at bay.

Three minutes, and you're already holding your breath.

I draw you close to my heart, and I wish you could find there all the words that I can't say out loud. As if I could read your mind, I know your thoughts are surfing through the last two years – the medical check-ups, the empty reassurances that everything is okay, that it's just a matter of time, that we have to relax.

Do they listen to themselves, when they say Don't think too much about it...When you least expect it, it will happen?

You break our embrace and return to the counter, where you take up the object again.

The time is up, and I get ready to envelope you in my arms again, to rock you back and forth, whispering how much I love you.

Tears form in your eyes, and one of them glistens through your eyelashes. Like a breaking dawn, your smile lights up your face. Your cheeks redden, and you open your mouth.

You hand me the pregnancy test, and when I see two lines on it – one clear, the other thin and still forming, but present nonetheless – our voices mingle in one long-expected word.

That’s one of those bits of ubiquitous writer’s advice you always see. I said it myself to a new writer just a couple of weeks ago after being asked to critique a piece they had written. The writer expressed frustration. “People have said that to me before, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!”

I’ve been there. I once got a review that said my work had the same flaw, but I couldn’t see where I’d made the mistake. It took a while before I understood what I was doing, and I’m working on ways to correct this flaw.

Essentially, it boils down to the difference between saying

“He was frustrated,”

or saying,

“He paced, raking his hands through his hair as he muttered to himself.”

In the first example, we’re told what the character is feeling. In the latter, we see his agitation through his body language.

There are several useful resources on the internet, such as the “Body Language Cheat Sheet” which can help you show your character’s emotional state. Another suggestion is to monitor your sentence structure in areas of tension: short, terse sentences can help set the mood.

Another sign that you may be “telling, not showing” is using a lot of adverbs. One of the first things my editors did for me with my second manuscript was go through and highlight all of the words that ended with “-ly” and I was surprised to see how many there were.

Original: “Stop it,” he said angrily.Re-worded: “Stop it,” he said, and his eyes narrowed as he clenched his jaw.

The second sentence shows more action and is more “visual” than the first version. It helps the reader see the story as a movie in their minds, as opposed to having to supply the details themselves.I’m still learning about this, myself. But I believe writing is a life-long learning experience, and I hope to keep improving as I go.

Summary: Post-college, Edward and Bella help each other heal through the worst
kind of pain inflicted by a close friend. A realistic look at trauma and
healing. AH, Mostly E/B, Em/R, J/A take smaller roles. OOC Rated M. Complete.

2013-02-06

I've a thing for historical fiction (my first multichapter story, De Immortalitate, is set in the Roman Empire). This article by David R. Gillham, author of City of Women, will help you to avoid history lessons in your stories and, at the same time, to use your research, as well as language or accents, to build a setting. Enjoy!

"Here are a few points that writers of historical fiction might consider as they sit down to work:

1. Fiction = Friction. Regardless of your time period, regardless of all the in-depth research you’ve done, you must remember that you’re writing fiction first, and historical fiction second. In other words, don’t forget that
it’s action and conflict that moves the book forward. The historical
details enrich the work, but detail for detail’s sakes will sink you." ...continue.

2013-02-05

"The life of Charlie and Bella Swan was devastated when Renée was
murdered by a serial killer: The Drainer. Charlie, a former FBI
profiler, is convinced that the killer is a vampire, and that those
creatures are real. Nobody believes him, till the day he captures one of
the undead."

Camilla wrote a short poem for the chapter, and SatinCoveredSteel helped to translate it:

2013-02-01

Summary: "I'm not Bella Swan any more. That girl died alone, in the woods,
shortly after my eighteenth birthday. I am Death, and Death wears
Christian Louboutins." Entry for "Bella's Insane" contest. OOC/AU/M. Complete.