Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreamsDoctor, listen to me, tell me what this meansFirst I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwearThen all of sudden I'm floating in mid airMy lips fall off and everybody starts to stareDonuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere

Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yetNext comes the part that I won't ever forgetNow I'm bein' followed by these Russian spiesThey give me some velcro, and an order of friesSuddenly I'm bowling on the Starship EnterpriseI fall down a hole and that's when I realize

I am stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteI'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after night

All right!

Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insaneWas it something I ate or something wrong with my brainSee, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaurTry to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floorThen a midget pushes me through a revolving doorAnd I'm back in the very same place I was before

Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteI'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after night

And I can't bust out and I can't break freeAnd it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for meAnd I can't go home and I can't get looseAnd I try to escape but it's just no use

And I can't ever leave and I can't ever winAnd we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' inAnd I can't go back and I can't get throughBut Vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you

Come on Vanna, come on!

Ow, buhhh

Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started againThat's right, I even wake up screaming now and thenSee, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my addressI'm half an hour late for my algebra testThen some slimy alien jumps out of my chestAnd I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest

I am stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteI'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after night

I am stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteStuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteN-n-n-night after night after night night night

Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after night

I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White