Going where I'm going, one way or the other

I read this sentence several times (Judas Gate is an excellent “read,” by the way) and thought the phrase, “You always hurt the one you love” seems to say the same thing in a different way. What do you think? Were the Mills Brothers on to something with their mega-hit Jazz song and title of the same name?

I kind of, sort of think so. What threw me off, though, was the line in the song that justified the hurt by saying, “…it’s because I love you most of all.”

I got to thinking (digging deep; most of you know what I mean), because it’s has been said that “Love is a hurting thing.” The late, great Lou Rawls added his two-cents to the truth of these words with his 1966 hit song with that same title. And remember the recently departed Mr. Percy Sledge and his soulful lament; “When a man loves a woman!” He is singing about some serious hurt, here folks. He loves his mystical woman and there ain’t no amount of hurt too great that he won’t endure to be with her; to hear her voice, feel her soft caress, and know the love in his heart he has for this woman. And he doesn’t give a “rat’s ass” what anybody thinks. Then there is the time and time again heartbreaking story of betrayal offered up in Isaac Hayes classic version of “By the time I get to Phoenix.” Hell, it broke my heart and hope to die!

So after much serious thought; and walking the walk – I am of the opinion that there can be no other truth; these guys were on to something. These are some of my cultural examples of love, hurt and betrayal; that to me, are following in the footsteps of eons of poets, writers, great minds – be they women or men; warning that love and happiness comes with a price tag – and it can cost dearly to play.

There are other kinds of betrayals that rise to the level of the “man/woman love triangle” that inflicts some serious hurt to a loved one. Greed is a good one. The love of the all-mighty dollar ( pick your local currency) has earned it a top spot right up there with you heart strings when it come to back- stabbing. And let’s not forget jealousy; that green monster has a long and inglorious history of poking out the eyes of those too weak to get that damned demon off their back; all the while putting the hurt on the one’s they love.

What else, hatred? Yes, yes – that’s a good one. It has to be one of the “founding fathers (or mothers) of betrayal. In fact, the “green-eyed devil” is probably its right arm. Once hatred gets you in its bear hug, it crushes all the love in your heart to stone. Unfortunately, not every Grinch or Scrooge gets the memo about how a hard heart betrays one’s self and their loved ones.

Let us not forget lies. Heavens no! They don’t need any help to define the betrayal borne by their words.

There are other names and ways betrayal pierces our hearts, messes with our minds, makes us crumple in a heap to the ground; curling us up into sorrow and tears – rending our soul; and through it all we’re asking, “How could you?”

This bit of wisdom, such as it is, has many origins. Some say, “Adam & Eve” started this human foible; that Cain and Abel were destined to reap what was sown. Perhaps that’s why there never seems to be an end to it. We aren’t perfect anymore.