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Me and my oh had a row Thursday over me going out for lunch with my 2 friends meant he had to get the train to work anyways that was fine. Until the train was cancelled and was my fault as he was gonna be late to work 10mins. I ignored him the next day on the friday he went to work fine came home fine still didn't say anything to him til i was going to bed and mentioned might be going to a street fair but haven't decided he said ok. I woke up Saturday at 6am he was asleep on the sofa and thought as im up and our little girl ill get ready for street fair.. he was still asleep at 8.30. So 9am came he wakes up where you going? Well decided i would go to the street fair after all... nope i wasnt allowed to take our daughter cos he wanted to see her. He doesn't get up til 11 most days and then Xbox til he goes to work im not working atm waiting for my dbs but he use to be so good towards her help out etc. So Saturday turned into a massive row we shouted at each other i went outside to chill out and thought he would calm down i come in with a clear head didnt say anything and he just kept on and on at me... we both pushed each other then he kicked me so i rang the police biggest mistake i think in my eyes.. now hes going to court he can't come home and i feel so guilty now something that could of been resolved in a normal conversation went on and on.. and out of hand. I wouldn't make a statement as i was angry he was angry we was both at wrong but he has previous and the lady interviewing him said that my daughter would be taken into care if i didn't make a statement so she got cps involved i didn't want it to go this far. How can i make it right i love him so much!!@

Comments (8)

Whether you like it or not once you call the police they have a duty of care, not only to you (as the complainer of domestic violence) but also to your child. They have no choice but to put in the correct referrals to ensure that you and your child are safe. From my work with social services, i woukd say there isnt a guge deal to worry about atm, not regarding losing your daughter or that any way. They may want to come visit, assess the situation and see what advice or help they want to offer but they aren't going to Waltz in and just take the baby without good reason (unless there is more to the story than you are saying).

You say he has previous, previous for DV or just previous convictions?

If he has previous for DV then I'm sorry but he clearly hasn't learnt his lesson, whether you were both in the wrong or not, violence should never he the answer in a relationship and if he has been in trouble for it in the past it is clearly a behavioural trait he can't always control. There may be issues that need addressing in councilling if that is the case.

If he simply has previous conviction, not violence or domestic related then I suggest you both chalk this down to a learning experience, get some couples councilling (if you can't communicate effectively with one another alone) to sort out the lack of team work in the house hold. Then see what happens from there.

This is not your fault alone, wether you both behaved in a manner that was wrong, you calling the police was a gut reaction at the time, and perhaps in the moment you felt that you needed their help?

you're being abused and you can't see that. you're letting your child grow up witnessing domestic violence - which means they'll think that that is normal in a relationship and copy you when they're old enough.

you need to walk away from this man who treats you like dirt. you don't love him - he's just conditioned you to base your self-worth on whether or not he's pleased with you.

contact women's aid and get counselling so that you can move on and be the mother your LO (little one) deserves.

It doesn't matter if you love him.
Your child will be taken away! Don't you get that? You staying in this toxic, abusive, controlling relationship will eventually lead to you losing your daughter. Even if you don't lose her you'll certainly damage her beyond repair by subjecting her to domestic abuse.
I know it's difficult, I know you're stuck but you NEED to get out.
You don't love him.
He certainly doesn't love you.

Call woman’s aid for some support they can explain the cycle of abuse toyou and help you see his behaviour for what it is.

I strongly recommend doing this. Police will have refererred you to social services. If you do not take action to protect your child you will loose her. Do not get back with him and get support for yourself to stay strong

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