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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

In the same day, I heard several crazy food items on my local news and couldn't resist compiling them -- and, of course, hunting for a few more to round out the list. Just for our edification, you understand. Here's what's been going on recently in the important news realm of "You Gonna' Eat That?"

Burger King has just expanded its product line...to include cologne. It's being billed as a cologne for times where "fire meets desire" and is described as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." I couldn't make this up if I tried. What I want to know is: who is their target market? Though I tend to shy away from gender steretypes of all kinds, it's a fair bet that men or teenaged boys who want to smell like grilled meat probably don't have girlfriends or wives who want them to smell this way -- unless they have actually just finished spending the entire afternoon grilling food for friends at a party. And I can't imagine that this is supposed to be a unisex cologne. I don't know any woman who would want to smell like a burger. Especially not a Burger King burger. For the complete ad, which I swear will make you fall off your chair laughing, click here.

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In other news, apparently Ankey, Iowa (a suburb of Des Moines) is salting the roads this year with GARLIC salt. It seems there were 18,000 pounds of garlic salt produced by Tone's Spices and destined for a land fill, so they donated it to road works departments, who have mixed it with regular road salt. The garlic is reportedly making many of the road workers hungry. (And making Iowa smell like Gilroy, CA -- the garlic capital of the world -- I would imagine.)

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Students from Pingyuan Middle School in China broke the Guinness record for the largest mosaic made of fruit (and, really, who thinks up these feats in the first place?) on December 1 of last year. The mosaic was a picture of the state flower and some kind of welcome message, and measured 60 by 37 meters. It was made up of 349,200 navel oranges, 18,172 apples and 5,153 pomelos. (And where did all that fruit come from?)

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And in other weird fruit news, some apple farmer in Japan decided to put Apple logos on his fuji apples. He used stickers to block sunlight from the ripening fruit, to produce a whole crate of Apple apples. Why? No one can say.

I must admit, I didn't believe it about this cologne. What is wrong with me that I don't find the scent of flame-broiled BK whoppers in any way romantic or sensual? I really was going to order some of this cologne (especially when I saw that it's only $4!) but it's not in stock yet. Shoot.

Burger King cologne? You've GOT to be kidding! Who was the marketing genius that sat there and said; "Well sure, people are struggling to make their mortgage payments but they are going to rush out to buy perfume marketed by a creepy King looking thing!"

Oiy! This makes me wanna smack my head. Seriously though, I can see a market for maybe dog breeders or something...but for your average Joe? Not so much.