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Thursday, 19 September 2013

Book Review: No Time To Say Goodbye by Paul Arnott

Review
by Dorothy Adamek

No
Time To Say Goodbye by Australian author Paul Arnott should be on everyone’s
bookshelf. Written for those who’ve suddenly lost a loved one, in particular
parents whose children have died unexpectedly, it touches every heart with the
raw journey of Paul and Roseanne Arnott’s journey in the months and years after
their son James died of SIDS at nine weeks.

Paul takes the reader through the grieving process. Beginning with the numbness
death brought to his young family, he chronicles the guilt, the tiredness, the
anger, resentment and pain often present in the varying expressions of early
grief, and unpacks the uniqueness of these first reactions experienced by him
and his wife, and their young daughter, Alice. He also draws on examples of
other families who’ve faced the unexpected death of a loved one.

This
book is painful to read. But the insight is vital for anyone who cares to
understand the particular needs of those experiencing a sudden death. Unlike
the steps taken by the families of the chronically ill, No Time To Say Goodbye
tackles issues such as slowing down between the time of death and the
funeral. The importance of being allowed to navigate those days at one’s own
pace, instead of being rushed by unknown protocols and the expectations of
those who come alongside.

Paul asks
the difficult questions many parents wrestle with when they lose a child. Questions many of us would like to ask God. He
also shares the different ways some have found answers. He explores the ways
men and women cope with grief and loss, and debunks some of the stereotypical myths
of gender specific grief.

No
Time To Say Goodbye is a quick read. But it commands respectful lingering. It’s
the honest pulling aside of one family’s privacy. The sharing of what they’ve
learned in a season they never imagined when they brought their little boy home
from the hospital.

I
read the revised and updated edition, with an added appendix on SIDS. I’d read books on loss and grief before,
when I lost a baby to miscarriage. I wish I’d had this book then. And while the
main focus is on helping parents whose children have died, it will touch anyone
who’s experienced loss in our ever-changing world.

Review
by Dorothy Adamek – Dorothy lives in Melbourne with her Beloved and their three
children. Enamoured by all things 19th century, she writes The
Heartbeat of Yesteryear, Historical Romance – Aussie style.

10 comments:

Sounds like a good read, Dotti. I wish I'd had this resource when my very dear friend lost her baby 11 days after she was born. The grief is so great in such times and it would have been nice to process that with such a resource in hand. Thanks for the review.