Something that I tended doing a lot in the beginning of my process, was to try and find ‘The Point’ – and what I mean by that is: The One Point where I created a certain pattern as a child and then I tried to explain my entire life, all the choices and decisions I made, all my relationships, all my behaviours, etc. in the light of this one patter. I thought that there was this one point that would just explain it all – my ‘one point of self-dishonesty’.
With every ‘big point’ that I revealed of myself through writing and self-forgiveness I tried to use that one point to make sense of my entire life. Obviously, not everything you do can be explained through the participation in one singular pattern. For instance – I’d see that as a child I accepted the point of inferiority – then I’d go: “That explains EVERYTHING!!” I defined all of my self-dishonesty in relation to the point of for instance inferiority and would only see myself from that starting point. So, I ended up making twisted connections and telling myself that ‘this is how I must have manifested that in my life!’ – just so that my ‘theory’ would fit the data as the actual experiences and events that took place. This would often result in sharp headaches, because all I was doing was manipulating/changing my memories of the actual events that took place so that the events could be explained through this one pattern – all, of course, in my mind.

I wanted to believe that I just needed to uncover ‘The One Point’ so that I would just need to be able to find a solution to this one point and then that would be the key to solve my entire existence – whoops, in one go – lol. In essence, I wanted to short-cut my process by only having to deal with one singular point. The reality is of course that there is a massive amounts of different points of self-dishonesty and patterns that were designed and accepted from early age and that were specified and adapted to be utilised in various different situations and scenarios over the years. Each point has various layers and each point has various dimensions.

So – instead of just investigating each point for what it was and actually supporting myself to write specific Self-Forgiveness and design specific Corrections for each point – I would just ‘shove’ that point under the skirt of another point, saying that “this point is just an outflow of ‘my one point’, therefore, I have already dealt with this and I’ve already got the solution to it – I don’t have to spend time investigating it”.

I’ve always liked the idea of neatness and logic – and how neat would it be that there was just one causal point and that any other point is just a logical outflow of this causal point. And so – if I remove the cause, everything else just disappears, because the foundation was removed – Poof! Just like that!

Yeah, well… process doesn’t work that way – lol.

Also – the idea that I understood my entire life made me feel like I had more control over it. If something can be understood, categorised, classified, analysed, I’d always feel like a sense of relief – that it wasn’t too overwhelming, because I could understand it. The fact that I wanted to have a form of control over my life, my past, my experiences indicates that I was afraid of it and that I felt overwhelmed by the idea of having to sort out my past in absolute detail and specificity. I was afraid of it, because I felt like if there’s a point in my past that I don’t know about, that I don’t understand, that I can’t ‘place’ within myself – it might just come to haunt me and I won’t know what to do.

So, here goes the Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to uncover ‘the one point’ of self-dishonesty that would somehow give me clarity and insight into my entire existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that such a ‘one point’ exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want for such a ‘one causal point’ to exist so that my process will be quick and easy, because I felt overwhelmed by the idea of having to investigate and sort through my life in absolute detail and specificity – and then also redesign myself in absolute detail and specificity – but instead rather just having to deal with one point and only having to design a solution for this one point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel intimidated by a maze of unknown points, systems and patterns – feeling and believing that they are more than me, too much for me and that I could never take on a project that requires absolute dedication and discipline to complete.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to actually make my process take longer, because every time a point presented itself, I would just categorise it underneath another point, making up ways that this new point I am facing is an outflow of a point that I’ve already faced and manipulating my memories in the process – herein not actually facing the point, releasing it and correcting it – therefore, having to each time face the point again so that I could actually face it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – due to the belief that I can’t do something and due to the fear that I won’t be able to do it properly – immediately accept a state of laziness, where I do things half-assed, pretending to deal with a point, making myself feel like I dealt with a point, when actually I would just ignore it and dismiss it as something I have already dealt with.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to actually assist and support myself within process, but merely want to feel like I’m done so that I can go and enjoy myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being haunted by my past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my past and that my past will repeat itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to control myself, my life and my future through knowledge about what happened and what I’ve done in my life, so that I can feel prepared to deal with whatever may come in the future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself out of fear of seeing who I am and what I’ve done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowledge is the final stop – that once I have knowledge and understanding of a point – then that’s it and then I am no longer controlled by it, instead of realising that I require to release the point through self-forgiveness as well as redesign and correct myself through self-corrective statements and corrective action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want everything to be neat, logical and organised so that I can feel in control and in power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and make sense of my reality, my past and my points, instead of seeing them for what they so that I’m able to practically and effectively direct them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is bad to have many points of self-dishonesty to uncover and that if I just have one point to face, then that makes me a better person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be a bad person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘bad’ to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘self-dishonest’ to the words ‘bad’ and ‘fear’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when a point comes up – immediately assume that I’ve already applied the SF on that point and that I can just go on through breathing – instead of making sure that I am not facing a different dimension of a certain point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that it is a waste of time to apply self-forgiveness on the same point several times.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that I can never apply too much self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see process as a quick-fix solution – thinking and believing that I must just find the main switch and turn it off – and then live happily ever after.

When and as I see myself wanting to dismiss a point as something I have already dealt with – I stop, I breathe – I bring the point before me, I investigate all its dimensions and check that I have released all of it effectively through self-forgiveness. If not – I apply self-forgiveness to release the point and write self-corrective statements to design the solution as self-correction.

When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed by something that looks messy, complicated or extensive – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I don’t require taking on the whole thing at once, but simply take on one part/point/aspect at a time and move myself breath by breath until it is done.

When and as I see myself being lazy and not applying myself effectively – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I am simply making my process take longer, because if I do something half-assed I’ll just have to do it over again at a later stage until I do it properly – therefore, I push and direct myself to fully engage in the present moment and apply myself to the best of my ability.

When and as I see myself trying to make sense of a point within my mind through making up ‘links’ and ‘connections’ and ‘causal relationships’ – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I am not actually assisting and supporting myself, but actually resist facing the point – therefore, I bring the point here and face it for what it is.

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Day 3 - We’re Clueless!!!

Yesterday I made mayonnaise for the first time. I’ve eaten mayonnaise my whole life. I used to be very peculiar about what foods I liked and which I didn’t and Gabriel, my brother, showed me how, if you just cut up everything in your plate, add mayonnaise and then mash it all together, it suddenly becomes a lot tastier – lol. In all those years, however, I never bothered to find out what mayonnaise is, what’s in it or how it’s made. You buy mayonnaise in the shop, you open it, you eat it – that’s what I knew about it. My grandmother used to make mayonnaise once in a while – I thought that because she’s very skilled with cooking that she can do something like that. For some reason I thought it would be very difficult to make.

So, yesterday I try out a recipe for mayonnaise. I basically had to chuck a very small amount of ingredients in a jug and then mix them together. For the most part, it consisted of egg yolk and vegetable oil. When I saw the ingredients in the jug I was like “huh, how is that ever going to turn out like mayo?'”Anyhow, I continued to follow the recipe’s instructions by first holding the blender to the bottom of the jug and mixing for 15 seconds. Already after a few seconds the ‘liquidy’ mix started turning into a more jelly-like substance. I was like WOOOOW! I had no idea that THAT’s how they made mayonnaise. It was like magic! It was suddenly just there. It took me 2 minutes to make the mayo – and it was pretty damn good too.

What I want to get to is the following: I’m part of a quick-fix generation. We buy stuff and we consume it. Firstly, we have no idea where it comes from, how it’s produced or what the hidden processes and consequences of the products are. Secondly, the idea is created that various things are very difficult to do – just because we don’t know how to do it. We don’t know how to build a house, we don’t know how to fix machines, we don’t know how to tile a floor, we don’t know how to make furniture, we don’t know how to slaughter and process chickens, hell – we don’t even know how to make fucking mayo!

We’re so used to having other people worry about that stuff for us, that we’ve become completely clueless – to the point where we think that the only way that we can eat mayo is to go and buy it in a shop. If I had known how easy and fun it is to make, I would’ve never bought mayo. Why would you choose to buy ‘Miracle Whip’ – when you can just whip up the miracle right in front of you!

And mayo is not the big deal – it’s the fact that we take everything for granted. We just accept the idea that ‘we can’t do it’ or ‘it’s too difficult’ – when it’s really not. If you go and take the time to make your hands dirty and get to know how shit gets done – you become skilled at it and you realise it’s really no biggy. All our lives we’ve been catered for and have really become lazy, oblivious and clueless little creatures. It seems silly, but when I made the mayonnaise I felt so much shame – because this thing that I had been consuming my whole life of which I thought it must take a lot of skill to make, I whipped up in a matter of minutes. It just showed me the extent in which I’ve denied myself the opportunities to be a part of this world by not allowing myself to practically participating in it.

My generation is not a generation of participation – it’s a generation of consumers. We don’t participate in the production process, we don’t participate in anything that has something to do with what makes this physical world go ‘round. Even if our job has something to do with producing particular goods – then those goods is mostly all we know about and everything else remains a big mystery. We’ve completely separated ourselves from the world we live in – limited our existence to being mere consumers of it. Even in the bible it doesn’t say that God left the Earth in the hands of man so that man can consume it – we’re supposed to take care of it, be a part of it – and we’re not.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be a part of this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to participate in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my existence in this world to that of being a consumer of it, instead of a participant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the opportunity to investigate how the world works, but instead just took everything for granted and counted on others to cater for me, presenting me with everything I need so that I can just consume it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed into believing that everything that I don’t know about is too hard for me to know, understand or take part in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to completely separate myself from the world around me – only participating in that which gives me immediate satisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the world as a big mystery and to be content just living my life oblivious in terms of how this world works and what my actions contribute to as consequences manifested from the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the physical for granted, while the physical has been the one and only consistent thing that has always supported me and that has always supported every single being, no matter who they are, no matter what they do – unconditionally.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to learn about and learn from the physical to see how I’m able to improve myself – but instead entertain myself with fleeting thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, sensations in my mind, looking for interesting experiences, where I reduce myself to but a fleeting moment, a fleeting thought, a fleeting emotion, a fleeting feeling, a fleeting memory or a fleeting sensation – instead of supporting myself to become substantial, consistent, supportive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave the physical to the mental realm of the mind – utilising what the physical unconditionally provides for the purpose of satisfying my mental desires and wants for the sake of interesting and momentarily satisfying experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reduce myself to becoming a clueless, oblivious creature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through accepting the belief that I should only investigate how things work when it directly affects my current experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by experiences and the desire and want for interesting experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to the world – thinking and believing that I am but a tiny spec of dust in the big scheme of things and therefore, there is no way that I can ever stand equal and one to the world, there is no way that I can ever understand the world and there is no way that I can ever fully participate in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comfort to override practical common sense – where I rather buy something that is already made for me – instead of producing the good myself, where I then learn about how the good is produced, what points are involved, where I am completely aware of what the good consists of, where it comes from and where I can ensure that the good is of the best quality possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the claim that capitalism ensures the best quality of goods for the least amount of resources due to competition, instead of realising that profit is the sole goal for agents in capitalism and that a client or consumer’s well-being is of no concern to them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to the capitalist system, merely through accepting the one belief that “I can’t do it myself”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chronically underestimate myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the belief that “I can’t do it myself” before even trying or investigating what is involved.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support slavery and inequality through accepting and allowing the thought and idea that “others can and are willing to make their hands dirty for me – why should I then bother with it?”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support the elite in this world through accepting and allowing the attitude within myself that someone else will do things for me and that I must just worry about making myself comfortable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into an anxious reaction whenever I am challenged to do something knew – due to immediately accepting the belief that “I can’t do it'” and “I will fail at it”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the statement “I can’t do it” and “It’s too difficult” as an excuse to not try new things for myself, out of fear of failing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply the common sense that I cannot know the outcome of an attempt before having actually attempted it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing and failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that someone in the dark is keeping score of my achievements and failures – and that they will determine who I am and where I end up – whether in this life or the next.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the consequence of getting bad grades.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system to brainwash me into believing that grades and scores determine who I am, what I am capable of and what type of life I will lead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when I try to do my best – to do it out of fear of being judged on something like ‘judgment day’ or ‘karma’ – an invisible authority that will determine my fate – instead of realising that it is common sense to do something to the best of my ability, otherwise I’m just wasting my own time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subjugate myself to fear in a moment of being challenged to do something new, wherein I immediately give in to resistance – instead of taking on the challenge as a way to expand and perfect myself.

When and as I see myself feeling intimidated by something unknown – I stop, I breathe – I realise that the experience of intimidation stems from the mere belief that everything that is unknown is somehow bigger than me. Instead – I direct myself to stand equal and one to the point in the unknown, so that it becomes known, so that it is here as me – and from there I move as it, equal and one, a real participant in the world.

When and as I see myself being lazy and thinking that someone else can do it for me – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I am diminishing myself in that moment as well as supporting the entire construct of elite versus slaves in the world. Instead, I move myself to address the issue at hand myself – moving myself to participate and take responsibility for the point that presented itself in that moment.

When and as I see myself taking things for granted – I stop, I breathe – I realise that, through taking it for granted, I have separated myself from it. Instead, I move myself to investigate the particular point and in a way incorporate it into myself, as myself and I allow myself to be grateful for what is here as unconditional support form the physical, as well as seeing how I can apply in and for myself what the physical is doing automatically.

Day 2 - The Red or the Blue Pill? Desire for an Ordinary Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to lead a ‘normal’ ordinary life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire to lead a normal ordinary life to exist as a backdoor within me to not complete my process, but walk away from any responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to walk away from responsibilities, because I believe that having responsibilities makes my life hard and difficult.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that responsibilities in and of themselves are not hard and difficult, it is only the resistance of taking responsibility and the fear of not being effective within my responsibilities that create the perception that the responsibilities within and of themselves are hard and difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being ineffective within my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail within my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect leading an ordinary life to a life without stress, expectations or responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that beings leading a ‘standard’ life in terms of job, partner, kids don’t experience stress, don’t have to deal with expectations and don’t feel burdened with responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire to live an ordinary life to exist as a temptation in the back of my mind, as a voice saying: ‘you don’t have to do this, you know, you could just do what eeeeeverybody else does: just sit back and enjoy the ride!’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is easier to live life with my mind being in control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to abdicate any responsibility towards life, to my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is hard to direct myself and apply myself consistently within the process of stopping the mind and creating and designing myself to be and become a living expression that is actually worthwhile living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when I think of just giving it all up and going to lead an ‘ordinary life’ – feel as though a weight lifts off my shoulders and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that leading an ordinary life has actually something to do with this experience of relief.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to romanticise ‘the ordinary life’ in my mind through picturing it as a peaceful and quiet existence, while I come from an ordinary life and it was anything but peaceful and quiet – it was filled with confusion, conflict, frustration and depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can change my lifestyle in such a way that I won’t have to take responsibility or face confusion, conflict, frustration and depression.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that no matter what ‘type’ of life I lead – I am the one leading it, I take myself with me – and thus, no matter where I am, I will always have to face myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish that I could just forget about everything I have learned in the past few years so that I could go back to a life of ‘blissful ignorance’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a life of bliss actually exists in this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the voice in my mind tempting me to simply walk away and take the ‘easy road’ is not real, but merely a program of the mind, designed to keep me enslaved to my mind, to ensure that I never actually realise myself, that I never actually stand up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backdoors to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself through accepting and allowing backdoors to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to just breathe through these ‘thoughts of temptation’, but instead participate in them, consider them and empower them – and in that kid and con myself into a state of delusion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to consider to allow just one thought to throw me off my feet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider that a thought is superior to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that thoughts are superior to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my thoughts know what’s best for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mind knows what’s best for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my mind absolutely.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have developed my most intimate and trusting relationship with my mind while completely disregarding myself or the actual physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define intimacy within having secret thoughts in my mind – where it’s ‘just me and my thoughts’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that intimacy exists within hiding secrets and having backchat.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be intimate with myself and develop a consistent effective intimate relationship with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mind has always been there for me and that it has ‘proven itself trustworthy’ over time – where my mind has proven ‘useful’ in deceiving others in order to control the situation and manipulate it to what I want to experience/have happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define effective relationships in terms of their ability to ensure my survival as a mind and mind-personality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a positive experience to the words ‘ordinary life’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that to stop an uncomfortable experience of myself is to run away.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that I cannot run away from myself and I cannot escape from myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that actively participating in the process of stopping the mind is actually taking the easy road and that if I feel/experience it as though I am taking the hard road, it is merely because I am not applying myself effectively, where I allow thoughts, resistance, backchat and fear to determine my experience of myself – instead of facing and investigating the points in detail and specificity, to stop the automated behaviours in and of the mind, to make way for myself to be able to effectively and consistently apply myself and participate within the physical reality.

When and as I see myself considering to walk away from my process and my responsibilities, to instead take the easy road – I stop, I breathe – I realise that my process and the responsibilities are not the problem, but that I am the problem – therefore, I direct myself to investigate any thoughts, backchat, resistance or fear in relation to walking my process or my responsibilities to then clear then with Self-Forgiveness and redirect myself with Self-Corrective Statements.

I commit myself to the process of assisting and supporting myself to stop any mind-interference with my life, with all life – to create a world where beings are able to fully, unconditionally and effectively express themselves and co-exist with each other.

With this blog I am starting a 7 Year Journey to Life. One blog a day for 7 years, wherein I write myself out and let go of mind-patterns through using Self-Forgiveness, as well as creating the solution through Self-Corrective Statements, wherein I prepare myself to walk the change.

The first thought that popped into my head in relation to starting the 7 Year Journey was: I’ll never keep it up, I shouldn’t be doing this, because I won’t pull it through in any case. With this one thought – I indicated that I wanted to give up before I had even started! This is a recurring pattern in my life, where I only want to take on projects or endeavours where I am pretty much nearly 100% certain that I will be successful at it. And if I doubt myself in being able to pull something off, I’ll rather not start it in order to avoid feeling like a failure.

So, here goes:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I’ll never keep up a 7 year commitment to blog each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – before having even started – project what the outcome of this endeavour would be, and in imagining myself being inconsistent and eventually giving up – I believe that this is what will happen and therefore, instead of walking the process in the physical, I immediately give up then and there, to not give myself a chance to ‘screw up’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I undertake a new project or endeavour, that I should be perfect at it from the start until the end – not allowing myself to process of learning from my mistakes and perfecting myself as I walk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as someone who can undertake and complete a project with great ease and to not defy that definition of myself, I will simply avoid any projects where I feel like I may possible fail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in terms of past memories where as a chid I would do things with great ease and everyone around me would be stunned at how easily I would complete a project or task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to how other people see me and believe that if others start seeing me differently, that then I will lose myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others starting to see me differently if I were to stumble and struggle to complete a project or endeavour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to live up to the standard others hold me to in order not to lose myself, my self-worth and my self-esteem.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, my self-worth and my self-esteem in how others judge me and to what extent they see me as worthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see failing as a definitive point where – if I fail, it is too late, I am a failure and there is nothing I can do to redeem myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that stumbling and struggling is a part of learning a particular skill – where, as i stumble and struggle, I see where and how I can become more effective and thus, as I walk, I assist and support myself to expand, grow and excel.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to expand, grow and excel through only ever doing that which I know I’m good at.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally undertake a new project or endeavour, but only do it in terms of what people will think of me if I pull it off and whether they will hold me in high esteem or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in an illusionary realm where ‘who I am’ is someone who doesn’t make mistakes – instead of embracing the reality of the situation – that I am nowhere near perfect and I stumble, struggle and make mistakes in the process of learning and developing new skills.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that stumbling, struggling and making mistakes are bad things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge stumbling, struggling and making mistakes as bad things.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself through holding unrealistic expectations of myself and if ever I may possible not answer to these expectations, sell myself short in giving up before I’ve started to not have to face any regret or shame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to face regret or shame.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that regret is an indicator that I am wallowing in self-pity over something I have done in the past, instead of forgiving myself, learning from the mistake and practically designing a solution to not make the same mistake again.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that shame is an indicator that I have sabotaged myself in a certain point and that I therefore require to investigate what I did it, how I did it and why I did it to be able to release the point in question and script a solution for myself for if I were to find myself in the same or a similar situation again.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to make sure that I will be right before I do something, or that what I’ll be doing will be successfully executed and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowing that I will be successful is what self-trust is.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to expand self-trust to being sure that I will be here for myself no matter what and that I will learn from my mistakes and my past, assisting and supporting myself to expand, grow and excel to the point where I am certain that I am absolutely specific and effective in a particular point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make up all kinds of excuses to justify why I it is okay for me to give up before I’ve even started a project so that I can feel like I did the right thing, while all the while I can self-honestly see that I am deceiving myself – but just to ‘shut myself up’, I’ll give myself all kinds of reasons to ‘prove’ and convince myself that I am doing the right thing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself to a point of giving up by bringing up all kinds of memories from the past where I feel like I failed and where I felt hopeless and helpless as a way of convincing myself that if I take on the particular project before me – I will feel the same way and there will be nothing I can do to change myself, my experience, or my situation.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that resistance is a program that kicks in whenever I am standing in front of a transcendence point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – in giving in to the resistance – state that resistance is more than me, that my mind is more than me and that I will forever more be a slave to my mind and existence as it is – accepting that I will never and can never change or take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that resistance is merely a program that I can push through to be able to face myself, my reality, my relationships and create a version of myself, my reality and my relationships that is actually best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in giving in to resistance and making up excuses and justifications for why I shouldn’t push through, I am actually arguing for my own self-limitation.

I realise that resistance is an indicator that shows me that I am standing in front of a transcendence point, that it is merely a program that I can push and move myself through to allow myself to expand and improve myself to a point of absolute self-equality and oneness.

I realise that there is no valid excuse or justification for selling myself short and accepting self-limitation.

I realise that mistakes, stumbles and struggles don’t mean the end of an endeavour and a definitive failure – instead, they are points along the road in the journey to life.

When and as I see myself resisting to commit to a certain project or endeavour, I stop, I breathe – I realise I am standing in front of a transcendence point and that the experience is not real but merely an automated program of the mind – therefore, I push through the resistance and unconditionally commit myself to the project or the endeavour within the starting point of giving it all I’ve got.

When and as I see myself making up excuses and justifications for why I should or shouldn’t do something – I stop, I breathe – I look at what it is that I am resisting and afraid of, I apply the forgiveness, let go of the fear and embrace the new challenge before me.

When and as I see myself projecting myself into the future, imagining that I will fail at a project or endeavour that I haven’t even started yet – I stop, I breathe – I remind myself that I am not a fortune-teller and that it is unacceptable to sell myself short. Instead – I bring myself back here and practically move myself to undertake and complete the project or endeavour to the best of my ability.