You won’t see these at Navy Pier.

Last week, the Tampa Bay Timesrounded up some of the wackiest fireworks at their local explosives shop. Among them: “Waking up the Gators,” “Pyrocumulus Cloud Buster," "The Ultimate Man Card,” and “THE END!”

It got us wondering: does the selection up north rival that of the south, where fireworks are legal in nearly every state? In Illinois, anything that leaves the ground is of course verboten. Indiana, on the other hand, is pretty much the wild west, so we headed to Hammond to check out the haul at three shops.

The answer, you’ll be unsurprised to learn, is that Indiana fireworks are just as tacky as Tampa fireworks. The labels we found violate pretty much every basic principle of graphic design, using copyrighted characters and imagery—often both sexual and violent—with abandon.

Case in point:

Works of art they are not. But there’s something to these images that speaks to the American subconscious. Fireworks are, if not a reflection of our cultural zeitgeist, at least a snapshot of what advertisers believe will sell in our country. (As far as novelty explosives go, anyway.)

Below, a sampling of the strangest, silliest, and most puzzling fireworks from our field trip—organized by our best guess at the target audience.