Sunday, April 15, 2012

No Rest For The Wicked...

It's really time to slow down. This is the the third batch of soap this week that has gone rogue. Cute, right? I yawned all through this one and went to move it aside, tripped and smashed my hand right down inside mold.

It hit me all at once last night that I haven't taken a good, deep breath in months. Oh, I'm not complaining, mind you....just observing. I'm grateful. In a time when many people less fortunate than I can't find work, I am thankful every day for opportunities I'm blessed with. I work impossibly hard at what I do. I do. I started this little adventure a little more than four years ago. What started as an occasional sale or pity buys from my friends and family (love you guys!) has now become a thriving business for me. I start my days early on a treadmill, and it almost always ends with me soaping into the night, or packing orders as the clock tips over into a brand new day. Hubby and daughter long asleep, as the glow of my computer screen dimly casts light on yet another invoice...another label....another formulation...another hand scribbled "thank you" and smiley face.

I never stop. Multitasking is now the order of the day. There's always a project, a personal fire to put out, animals to be cared for, a man to spend time with, an acre to mow, an elderly mom, unanswered email, kids that (thankfully) still need me - even though they went and grew up on me when I wasn't looking...on and on and on. It's really quite nuts. What am I doing?! My daughter came into my office late into the night the other day and asked me what I was up to. I answered "working", barely lifting my eyes from my paperwork and she responded by saying" You're always working." Ouch. Reality check...table for one...

I tell my kids all the time that there's no free ride in this world. You have to work hard to succeed at whatever you do. It doesn't just happen by osmosis. Tell yourself you can do it, and put some ass into it and you can do anything. I believe in those things. My husband, if you can believe it, works even harder than me. Lately though, finding a healthy balance has been a challenge. Yesterday was another long day. My hubby and I have been building my 20 year old daughter a new bedroom in our basement from the studs up, and began at about 9 am. again this day. We worked into the evening, putting new base mouldings and crown moulding up and long after everyone went to bed that night, I finally put my second batch of soap into the oven at about midnight at the end of that day. It's been this way for months. Whatever project we get into, I'm right there beside him, lifting hundred pound rocks, shlepping drywall, or wielding a mean nail gun. I'll work as hard as any man. I realize now that no break is just going to come, here. I'm never caught up. I have to make time to take better care of things.

I've been working on my health the last four months. I'm, in general, a healthy person in that I don't have any major illnesses or anything. I don't smoke (12 years since I quit - go me!), I don't do drugs, not really a huge drinker... But as the 40's reared their ugly head, extra weight crept on (it had nothing to do with eating entire cellophane'd sleeves of cookies!) and I felt pretty gross. I've been a thin person all my life, 'til recent years. Now I eat healthily, work out 6 days a week, dropped several chins, strengthened my muscles which has done wonders for the two bad discs in my back so....I'm feeling pretty good about that. I look in the mirror and kinda see the old me again. Only older. Too bad there's no treadmill for that shit! I busted my ass, I'm not gonna lie. But again....that takes up a huge chunk of my life and day. How do I fit everything in? I haven't had time to read a book in ages. I used to read every day. What would Bethanny Frankel do? That chick does everything. :p

I guess I'll figure it out, but the picture's pretty clear. There needs to be better balance and time to just veg out once in a while. And nobody wants smooshed soap...

15 comments:

The smoosh adds character ~ loads of character! At least you are aware you need to find balance in your life. That is the first and most important step you can take to find that balance. A step that many do not even realise is possible.

I love this post ! So often feel the same way and have to MAKE myself relax. All my years as a hospice nurse and still I feel so driven but my grandkids help me slow down. They are the best kind of Valium. Also, try keeping a "have done" list instead of just the "must do" list. Now go take a nap :)

So true, Lori! Is there a light at the end of the tunnel on the basement bedroom? Maybe when that is done, you will have a little more time. I am having that same issue here and the one thing I am leaving off the list is excercise. Not good. Now that I am 40, it's a must, so I have to figure it out. And soon. I'll quit bugging you to make more videos..(hanging my head, pouting, shuffling away...):-)

DUUUDE....I attempted to make video the last two soaps, and my camera fell over onto the floor (tripod still attached...lol.) mid sentence. Seriously...WTH is going on with my video issues lately?! I have a whole new respect for Spielberg.... :p

So easy to let our lives run us instead of running our lives, isn't it? I've heard the exact same comment from my daughter, and it hurts. I have regrets too. Really trying to gain some perspective - yet again! Thank you for being brutally honest - now go get some rest!! :)