This blog was originally published beginning in 2003. Then, in 2009, I accidentally deleted it. Oops. This is my tedious reissue of the blog. It is in progress and probably will be for some time.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Friday, May 07, 2004 Oh, something is wrong with my hormones or something...not to use such an easy excuse.

But this morning I am very much on the verge of a full-blown preschool-like tantrum and I can't think of a major reason. I did spend the last half an hour with an administrator as she spoke to me like I was borderline retarded, but I am used to that. But just moments ago, the computer took more than a split second to load and I banged my fist against the desk in the school library and felt like my head would explode if I didn't scream. I didn't and it didn't, but just to be safe I have sequestered myself in the under-used computer lab.

And last night, while watching the final episode of "Friends", I saw the commercial for the final episode of "Frasier" and I started to sob as if my heart was breaking. I seriously had a moment of feeling like some very close friends were leaving me and I felt completely abandoned and empty. Then I quickly remembered that I haven't watched either of those shows regularly in years, if ever, and with much embarrassment, put myself to bed after gulping unrecommended amounts of Tylenol PM. This is almost a week now of taking my over the counter lithium every night.

Call it stress. Call it life change. It is driving me nuts. Other teachers-- are you all having nervous breakdowns, too? It would be comforting to me to find out that the way I feel is typical teacher feelings. This first year teacher is coming apart at the seams. ¶ 5:46 AM