26DD vs. 36B

Just a quick note on describing breast sizes for male (and, it seems, a few female) writers:

When describing a character in a story, the more details you can throw in the better. We don't want to know that a girl has nice tits, we want to know how high they sit, what shape they are, what colour the skin is, what colour the nipples are, what they smell and taste like, and how big they are – which brings me to my main point.

"Her breasts were small/medium/large/grotesquely over-proportioned" simply does not cut it if you want your reader to visualise them. The easiest way to put a size on a pair of mammaries is to put a bra size on them.

This sounds easy enough, but when you consider that most male writers do not actually own a pair (or bras to put them in), it is easy to understand how so many people fuck this up.

A bra size consists of:

A NUMBER

The number is the underbust measurement – the distance around the ribcage DIRECTLY BELOW the breasts. This number has NO bearing on actual breast size. In American sizing, this is in inches, whereas Australasian sizing is simplified to dress size (eg someone with an underbust measurement of 28 inches is around a size 8, 32inches is approximately a size 12, etc)

A LETTER

The letter is the size of the actual cup, and therefore the breast itself. 'AA' is the smallest cup size (to my knowledge) and fits a very small breast. A 'B' (my personal favourite) is the kind of breast which fits snugly in a medium-sized (male) hand, 'C' is where we start getting big enough to require a bra to keep the breasts sitting above their southern border. After that, a double letter generally means a half size, so a 'D' cup is big, 'DD' is slightly bigger, 'E' pretty huge, 'EE' even more so, and after that we're into custom-made territory. Please note that it is not very likely that you know many girls with breasts bigger than a 'DD' or 'E' – although my flatmate (roommate) happens to own a very natural pair of 30HH's. We've dubbed her bras the kissing hats (you can fit your whole head in each of the cups, if you can't figure it out from there you don't deserve to)

So lets put them together. A girl who wears a size 28DD bra is slim with very big knockers, whereas one who wears a size 36B would be quite 'big boned' but with fairly unsubstantial breasts.

Please do not be tempted to increase the number to imply larger breasts – you are simply making your heroine fatter, which can be especially confusing if you have already described her as slim. Also, please do not feel that your heroine needs giant hooters to get herself into a quality piece of erotic fiction (a mistake girls especially make). Go with what turns you on personally – you'd be surprised how many people think just like you – and keep in mind that a study of Playboy centrefolds has shown a distinct decrease in dimensions of featured breasts over the years.