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Vlad ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

The Trump-Putin bromance continued this week. Trump, who briefly chatted with Putin at an economic summit, was asked by reporters if Putin had said anything about Russian meddling in last year’s U.S. presidential election. Trump’s response: “Every time he sees me he says I didn’t do that, and I really believe that when he tells me that, he means it. I think he is very insulted by it, which is not a good thing for our country.”

Which got me wondering what it would have been like if he’d been president at other moments in U.S. history.

President Trump in 2001: “I talked to that Osama bin Laden guy and he told me he had nothing to do with those planes flying into those buildings. And I believe him – why would he lie? He figures – and I think he might be onto something – that maybe the pilots ate some bad food. You know how bad airline food can be, right? We’re playing golf next week in Dubai, by the way. Nice fella.”

President Trump in 1962: “Premiere Khrushchev assures me the Soviet Union isn’t behind those missiles in Cuba. Which when you think about it makes sense. I mean, Cuba is an island. Surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water. And the Soviet Union is way around the other side of the world. Why would they go to all that trouble? It doesn’t add up. I told Nikita that and he smiled. Which is good. We want him smiling, right? When will all the haters and fools out there realize that having a good relationship with Russia is a good thing, not a bad thing?”

President Trump in 1941: “Relax, everybody. I called Emperor Tojo after the Pearl Harbor attack and he assured me Japan had nothing to do with it. So I guess that’s settled.”

President Trump in 1876: “So I met with that Crazy Horse fellow and, boy, he is so steamed, you can’t imagine how steamed, by that Little Bighorn thing. As you know, that’s on his land, and he assures me he’s going to find the killers if it’s the last thing he does. So that’s good to know. He thinks they might have been Muslims. Or maybe ANTIFA.”

President Trump in 1776: “So I told Adams and Jefferson, are we sure this Declaration of Independence thing is a good idea? Are we being rash here? Because I gotta say, I just got a letter from King George and he said he didn’t order any tea or stamp taxes, so it was probably a clerical error. He assured me he’ll figure out what went wrong and get back to me next year. So maybe we should hold off for now. What’s the rush, right?”

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I wish the media would stop saying things like: “In Trump’s effort to build a working relationship with Putin, he is reluctant to criticize him.” That is a crock of doodoo. The only reason Trump showers the dictators of the world with praise is because he wants to be accepted into their little club.

Andy – Are you in any way troubled with the Democrats/Clinton’s providing weapons capable uranium to the Russian Federation in exchange for donations to the Clinton Foundation and speaking fees? Does this direct providing of nuclear fuel for nuclear bombs cause you any concern when done by Democrats?

Mr. Trump often says outrageous things. Many of these things are not true. But, the right-wingers get offended when we say that Trumps lies all the time. So… Please note that Trump DOES lie, but a lot of what he says actually falls into the category of Baloney, rather than flat-out Lies.

Trump makes up stuff, and then believes it, and then says it. Most of his Baloney is seriously harmful for our country and our world. It is not just silly fantasy. It IS silly, but it also is serious, and it causes big problems.

I wish our right-wingers actually would listen to Trump, and quit just going along with what he says.

The Democrat lie “The Russians hacked the election so Trump would win!!!” has been reposted by so many lying hacks, it is a total disgrace. Here are a few facts for you Andy.

US voting machines are not connected to the internet. They can’t be “hacked” as could computer networks that are all connected to the internet. In fact thousands of different types of voting machines populate over 100 thousand voting poll locations nationwide. In order for the Russians to “hack the election” there would need to be multiple Russian operatives at each poll location, opening up each machine, in front of God and everyone, altering thousands of types of software, firmwear, mechanical marking mechanisms and tabulating counters. They would have to do this in over 100 thousand locations simultaneously and have it successfully completed during an approximate 12 hour voting cycle.

AND…. Not one single Russian operative was observed, filmed, documented or caught!

So Andy – Tell us in your infinite wisdom how the Russians successfully “hacked the election”. Provide technical details and cite your sources.

Unless of course you have nothing and are just willing to spread BS as a partisan pawn.

I will repeat this again the Russians had zero influence on me and a whole lot of Republican voters.
The news media reported and supported by face book and other on line advertising services reported that the Russians only purchased around $100,000.00 dollars on ads that did really not show up until after the election. A $100,00.00 ad campaign that influenced a $2,000,000,000.00 (billion) election campaign? WOW!!!! That would have been a tremendous advertising campaign.
The Russians who dreamed up that type of campaign would be hunted down by the advertising executives on 5th avenue and hired to develop advertising campaigns for them.
Hilliary clinton was and still is her own worst enemy. A lot of republicans have followed her and slick willey’s career over the last 40 plus years.
Mueller’s investigation of the Russian dossier has not led to Republican operatives but has been pointing to the Podesta Group. The Podesta Group is 2 democratic party members who dealt with the democratic party. The Poseda group worked for hilliary.
The uranium opne investigation is not over. The democrats would like it to be over, but it is not.

All the sites that you have listed are owned/ran by those that predicted that hilliary had the presidency won before the election was held. Those owners predicted a hilliary win and that republicans should just stay home and not bother to vote.
Guess what, the republicans voters ignored the liberal elitists and they voted.
Take off your rose colored glasses and start looking at things in this country from more than one side only.
I have said it before Donald Trump was not my ideal candidate, but he is somewhat a lot better than hilliary. In a lot of republican minds it was not so much of a vote in favor of Donald Trump but, a vote against hilliary.
If we could break down the political leanings of those who clicked on those ads, I wonder how many would of been democrat and how many would have been republican. That just might of made a lot clearer who was “influenced by the ads that ran. I never heard of the ads and I never watched the ads.

Yes, President Trump won and you democrats have never gotten over any of it. Democrats only want one way of thinking and it is called “group thinking”.
Democrats want one way of thinking and only way of thinking is their way only.
The democrats are like the Borg from the Star Trek series. instead of it being “We are the Borg, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated”. It would be “We are the democrats, resistance is futile, you will conform your thinking and ideals to our way and our way only. Free speech no longer exists. Free thoughts are not allowed. You will live in any ghetto that we tell you to live in, etc….etc….”.

I do not drink alcoholic beverages. Nor do I use illicit narcotics either. Nor do I use mood altering substances.
I have dealt with liberal men like you, who were on illicit narcotics trying to tell someone like me that they were somehow superior to those who do not use psychedelic narcotics. Men(???) like you use projection your misdeeds on someone else and try to blame them for your failures. In fact the democrats are trying to install a system that is psychopatholetic in nature on America. That is a system that uses force to ensure compliance with its rules and laws. Usually means that there is a small part of the government that life the good life and the rest of the population lives in abject poverty.

Another trumpster completely missing the point and spreading false narrative that agrees with his bias.

Hillary is not the president and all those conspiracies have been debunked by reputable sources, but nice try at deflecting.

Stop mixing Republicans and Trumpism. They are not the same thing. Mueller has released plenty of details showing where Trump’s people were collaborating with Russia. If you still knowingly make the choice to ignore that, you are delusional beyond hope.

Back to Putin, Trump. So do we believe Putin, KGB intelligence operative for years whose critics have mysteriously died at young ages from various means, when he swears he was not involved? Does any thinking person think anyone would hack, catfish, spread fake news stories on social media, behind his back? But our president of the US does believe IF such a thing happened Putin was not aware.
He calls US intelligence personnel “ political hacks”
He can believe anything he wants. I just wish he’d be loyal to the country he’s supposed to lead.
And I’m so baffled about him spending Veterans Day in Vietnam. Optics dont matter I guess.

Hello, Working Dad, and Jimmy 3, and Ernie, and the rest of you dimwit trolls!

You dopuses never write anything original here. If you were musicians, you just would be playing your boring covers of “Louie Louie,” over and over again, every time you post here.

That is, if “Louie Louie,” were a right-wing thing. You jerks are boring as the Dickens! We have read and heard it and played it all, many times before. We know the chords and the hook and the solo better than you know them.

About The Author

Andrew Heller has been an enduringly popular newspaper columnist in Michigan for a long, long, long time. He wrote his first column for the Escanaba Daily Press way back in 1979. It was about his … Continue Reading

Come Heller High Water II is the smash hit follow-up to Come Heller High Water I. It includes everything from Andy's takes on modern life to conversations with his back home pal Moon Dimple, and much, much more.

Saving the World One Column at a Time is a bitingly funny look at the world through the eyes of this award-winning columnist. In it he takes on corporate crooks, Little League parents, tongue piercers, ketchup sinners and much, much more. A must-have for Heller fans.