Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Ultimate Collection of Gold Digger Quotes

In 2008, I submitted a Quote of the Day titled "Gold Digger." In the two years since, this entry has become the single-most popular entry on the site by a long shot. Obviously, the post hit something that people were looking for. Well, I'm going to give the people what they want.

This blog is here for people who Google "gold digger quotes," which apparently happens a lot. Most of them are unattributed because, well, I have no idea who came up with this stuff. I sure didn't. I'm not that bitter, nor that clever. Some of them are admittedly out-dated, and some of them blur the line (if that's possible) between gold digger and plain old-fashioned hooker. They're still here. Deal with it.

Here is the Ultimate Collection of Gold Digger Quotes.

"A couple were having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.'"

"A fellow said he would go through anything for her, so she started right off with his bank account."

"A fellow starts out by calling her 'Sugar' and winds up a sad saccharine."

"A fellow's love letters are her jilt-edge securities."

"A guy never knows the worth of her love until she sues him for breach of promise."

"A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!"

"After a guy has spent all of his dollars, she recovers her sense."

"All she looks for in a man is brown eyes and green money."

"Her idea of a romantic setting is one with a diamond in it."

"Her hobby is collecting romantic antiques--rich old geezers."

"Her motto is: 'Dough or die.'"

"Her motto is: 'Every man for myself.'"

"Her motto is: 'Think--Mink!"

"If you spoon around with her you have to fork over."

"In her estimation, a man doesn't have to be much if he has much."

"It's hard to figure what she would have found attractive about men if she had lived before money was invented."

"It's not too difficult to find her. Just open your wallet, and there she is!"

"It's the little things about a husband that she likes, like small penthouses, small yachts, small racing stables, and small life expectancies."

"It's the thought--not the gift--that counts with her, and the bigger it is the more it counts."

"Magic is her hobby--like getting mink off an old goat."

"Men call her 'Sugar' and wind up paying her a lump sum."

"Men of means are worth her wiles."

“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”

“No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.” - Cesare Pavese

"Once she gets a guy on the spot, she takes him to the cleaners."

"She brings out the animal in men--mink."

"She buys spring clothes in the middle of the winter for summer romances with fall guys."